The Joe Rogan Experience - #1462 - Kurt Metzger

Episode Date: April 23, 2020

Kurt Metzger is a comedian, actor and writer.  He also has a podcast called “Can't Get Right" on Spotify.

And we're live. Hey. Look at you. Smoking a blunt. I know. This is your celebratory blunt. Holy shit, dude. I'm still a little bit.

That felt like getting an AIDS test. But you're clean. You're good. I know. But you knew you were healthy. You feel good. Yeah, I haven't felt like I had something. So you were worried you were one of those asymptomatic people.

Yeah. They said as many as 60% to 70% could be asymptomatic. Right. So I was like, I don't have it, but now I've got to drive all the way back. That's why it's such a creepy disease. There was an Anderson Cooper thing we were talking about earlier where the mayor of Las Vegas was on with Anderson Cooper. Oh, yeah. And he was describing to her how one asymptomatic person can go to a restaurant,

describing to her how one asymptomatic person can go to a restaurant, and it showed this chart of all the people that got infected by this one. How did they get infected? Just the air? Just the air, yeah. So he's trying to tell – this is completely theoretical. First of all, I don't know – the people that are saying this from – I mean, maybe they touch the same things. Maybe there's a bunch of different factors.

I don't know. I'm guessing it was just because of the air. But I don't trust a goddamn thing they're saying that's coming from China. If they're saying something, it's been approved by the government. You know what I mean? It's not like these doctors. What's that paper, the Epoch Times? There's like a paper.

Epoch? Yeah, Epoch Times. What is that? It's like, they'll be critical of China, but I think the guy that owns it is a Falun Gong guy. Oh. So I've seen criticism. What is the difference? Well, Falun Gong's that persecuted Tai Chi religion in China.

Oh, really? China's fucking crazy, dude. Epoch Times is a multi-language newspaper founded in 2000 by John Tang and a group of Chinese Americans associated with the Falun Gong spiritual movement. So who is he again? I don't know who John Tang is. No, no, no. Falun Gong? Falun Gong.

Falun Gong. It's like Tai Chi, but I guess China considers it a cult. What? So they crack down on them like they're Uyghurs. Oh, no. Yeah yeah and it's uh yeah it's just like meditation shit and qigong exercises with a moral philosophy centered on tenets of truthfulness compassion and forbearance holy fuck i might have to join i know i've been looking for a good cult the epic times guys get i've been saying this for years i want a good

cult like come up with a good one yeah that doesn't try to fuck me doesn't take all my money and it's not like they're all you know gets to bang everybody's wife okay stop banging your wife I'm gonna bang your wife they always play out like that that's they do that gorilla that fucking classic chimpanzee right right right dominance thing where you lose face and balls and then yeah well I would have said Jehovah's Witnesses was a good cult. If I stack, because I'm not really bitter at Jehovah's Witnesses. Well, let's tell everybody who doesn't know, because people might not be aware of your background. You grew up as a Jehovah's Witness.

You're one of my friends that has the most rock-solid rules on not tolerating horse shit. Because when people start bullshitting and saying nonsense, you're always the guy that's like, I know where this goes. For something like that, I'm hyper I am very like hypersensitive to culty.

I just don't want to go along with a thing because you have to go along with it. And like, come on, we're doing this. That attitude is important. Well, I just, that's the reason I left Joe's Witnesses. Of course. Because I didn't want to have that.

Then, when I got out in the world, you can't escape it. Like, the people, all these people that claim to be secular that jump down your throat, like online or something like that. It's all the same shit, but they just got rid of the Jesus.

Yeah, they got rid of the higher power. The love of Jesus Christ, they just got rid of that. Yeah., they got rid of the higher power. The love of Jesus Christ, they just got rid of that and kept the bullshit. It's a pattern. Yeah, like I guess a set of habits. Yeah. It's comforting. A comforting routine, I guess.

But it's, I mean, the thing when people do it to people, like it's almost like whether they're doing it because you're not a believer in Jesus or you're doing it because you're not a vegan or you're doing it because you don't support gender pronoun freedom, whatever it is like that hardcore sort of, you can sort of fit that mind into a bunch of different slots. Yeah. There's a, this is what I do believe from religious people. There is a human need for what religion fills and it's like, you know, Hey, great.

You got rid of Saddam. But now who's taken over? I'm not so gung ho on a, the, like we all, we need you got rid of Saddam, but now who's taking over? I'm not so gung-ho on the, we need to get rid of, like the Bill Maher level of atheism. Where he's like, grow up or die. I think he's not understanding, some people need that. And it's nothing to do with smart or stupid. It's just a very deep feeling of belonging. And if you don't get it from God

there's going to be, you know there's worse shit to get it from. Yes. Yes. There's some moral tenets if you really adopt Christianity. Some of my favorite people are Christians and pretty hardcore Christians. People that I really like.

Here's one. Listen, if you ever met a Christian, they're delightful. It's just they're like unicorns. There's probably like three of them. The rest of the people are on a football team. You know who's a real Christian, like in an admirable sense of the word? It's Chris Pratt. Guardians of the Galaxy guy? Yeah, I've heard that.

I've never met him. He's one of the nicest guys I've ever met. He's so nice and genuine and right there with everyone. He's very religious. But I'll tell you what man if if that's what it is it's like if if following those tenants the way that guy does it turns you into that kind of a person he's an admirable that's how you're supposed to it's not supposed to be you know you're preaching at people your behavior is supposed to be the witness right

and so people come into it a lot of times that's why they do. They go, well, I saw this guy. I'm like, if that's what that is, I want to be that. You know, it's like, it's like the God had abandoned the goofy stories. If they just came out and said, listen, it's our belief that living in this way with this belief in a higher power and that holds you to a higher standard of behavior. standard of behavior. If all of that, along with these tenants, you know, loving thy neighbor and treating each other as brothers and sisters, as if we were all one, if just all that, you just got to stop saying someone came back from the dead. You got to stop saying that. Even those stories, even those goofy stories, which I always would say that was saying that, but you know, when I left, but a lot of them work is still work as metaphors, you know?

Yes. Yes. The ones that there's people at all levels of smarts and they all need a thing to get on board. So some people need a goofy story to get on board. Like I said, I don't think that's the linchpin that's harming it. I think it's just, I don't, I don't believe that it transforms people's hearts. Like there's people that I saw when I was in my, in,hovah's Witnesses that they had a fucked up life that they turned around.

Right. But I don't think that it fundamentally changed anything but their behavior. They were just who they were and this gave them a window to be like a good person. Sometimes it's just a scaffolding. You just need something to sort of build on. A structure. Hold on to. A lot of people never had a structure.

Right, right, right. But if you're a psychopath, it's not going to change you into not a psychopath. Right. It's going to be horrible because you're going to apply your psychopathic tendencies to the religion. Well, and you see that, right? Yeah. I mean, the worst of the evangelists. That's what you're seeing, right?

You're seeing a con man who's found a tool that's beyond reproach. Well, some of them are just like, you know, they're like, almost like, same as Marilyn Manson when he, you know, he had his thing that he did, Marilyn Manson, but he was ultimately like a guy that's going to play golf like Alice Cooper. Like, he's, hey man, I'm doing a show here. That's what those guys, you know, Steve Martin made that movie. What is it called? Where he's, Leap of Faith?

He plays like a TV preacher, because he saw this documentary about a real guy named Marjo who copied Mick Jagger. So he would go to these churches and do moves like Jagger for these old ladies, and he would talk about it. And he was just openly saying how it was a scam. Anything you're making money off of like that It doesn't go together for you know, that's how you know Automatically the guys full shit because he's making a ton of money off it if they're a preacher Yeah, you're not supposed to get ready. How come Jesus didn't get rich right and especially when you get like arena rich

Like you're buying a penis Like what's that guy's name rich enough that guy Joel Osteen yeah see these guys come out of nowhere he's trying to do the least harm they're like pop singers they're like pop singers I don't know about them until they get so huge that they break through

the public vernacular like it's like pop singers like I just learned who Billie Eilish was I didn't know this whole time I'm like she doesn't know who Van my sister had to inform me

about Adele she goes you know that song Hello I go no I don't know that song you never had to inform me about adele she goes you know that song hello i go no i don't know that song you never had heard it just like no no i've been fortunate to dodge a lot of myself not in a bad way against which i think she's got an amazing voice don't get me wrong you just haven't seen a lot of horseshit i just dude i'm old you know very talented old white guy who likes rap music and classic rock.

Hey, I'm just an old white guy. I like my classic rock. I like Led Zeppelin. Oh, yeah, right. So you knew who Van Halen was, not like Billie Eilish. Oh, yeah, of course. Dude, Van Halen. But it's just like at a certain point in time,

I'm taking in too much music. I don't have time for all this new stuff. Yeah, well, there's an age where i was like weren't we just talking about a different yeah something i didn't care about like well you know what's interesting about music is like our lifetimes and our parents lifetimes are like the first times in human history where people had music collected where they could listen to it over and over and over again right yeah they're our grandparents were like probably the first. Like my grandparents came over from Italy and from Ireland in the early 1900s.

So when they were coming over here, I guess they had record players, but how prevalent were they? And what kind of music did they have? I thought they had to like stand around the window of a rich person's house. Like somebody, a slave cranks the handle but like where was the recordings you know i'm saying like they weren't that prevalent if there were right there certainly were some you know they had recorded music before then but it's not like it was on your phone didn't we send you know that that gold record we sent into space that has like a picture of like a man

a transphobic picture of a man and a woman does Does it have a dress? Does a woman have a dress? The woman has a dress and there's just those two. Doesn't she just have breasts? Do you know what the image looks like? Dude, it's hilarious. And then the music, like some blues guy, like old Catfish Willie or something. You know, like some old timey. Something like that.

Yeah. So they just got some cool shit to make us look interesting. It's a very old. Here's our drawing. Yeah. It's on gold They sent it on a gold plate, you know, it's like a gold plate and then but the drawings made me laugh cuz they're all like stick figures like I

Watch that movie contact the other night with Joey Falls. Yeah, it's amazing Holy shit, is that a good movie. A lot of it's good, but you weren't in a way that the aliens are like, we're going to look like your dead father because you couldn't handle. No. I can handle seeing aliens. Is it?

Is that? But there's images of males and females. You got to flip it over to the B side. Yeah, there it is on the other side. Yeah. Where's the man and woman? Wasn't the last image you have? There's two tits on the bottom.

Where? Where is it? Isn't it in there though? Yeah. I thought there was. Hmm. Maybe it's something else we're thinking of. I don't know.

But I swore there were images on that thing. Of what humans look like. So, like, why is different discs have different images? There's not more than one disc, is there? Are we sending mixed messages to them? No, there is. Something's coming up, but it's not a picture on the gold thing. Are there titties on this record?

What do they look like? Is it recognizable? It's like someone just drew it though on a piece of paper and like i said this is on there the pioneer plaque let me see okay the well uh whatever it is in the movie uh contact they got that recording and they sent it back to earth yeah and uh that movie like it had a cool like how it might go down thing about it so much about it was cool it's just the end. The end, it was like, come on, man.

And the guy who blew himself up, like, the religious dude who blew himself up, like, that was a little cartoon. I swear, I thought you were just going to say the guy who blew himself. I'm like, well, that was an interesting point. I didn't... Spoiler alert. Yeah, who was the guy that blew himself up? I think it's Gary Busey's son.

Jake Busey, that's right. Yeah, he's great in it. I met that guy recently. And also the idea that... So youy, that's right. He's great in it. I met that guy recently. And also the idea that... He's great in this movie. This was like a piece of paper called Pioneer 10. Oh, that's it. That's it right there.

This was not the same as that gold thing. Oh, okay. This was 72. The gold thing was 73. Oh, okay. Well, this was the first then. And then the record was a different thing. Oh, so they've said...

Okay, we conflated the two. So go to the image again. Let me see the image. Let me see the guy's that is it go to the one on the left that one right there yeah make that one big is that what they're gonna think dongs are he's like hi here's my dick and here's now most human dicks don't come past the balls and I like how they had the woman built like a real woman she's not like a porn star woman well where, where's her penis? She gave her a little bit of an ass.

Her penis? Yeah. He's like, hi. Where's penis women on here? Isn't that a... I mean, it's a weird... Yeah, they show up and think we're down to party and everybody's all bundled up. Well, that image is showing us how ridiculous we assume the aliens would think our clothes are.

Yeah, what if the aliens would think our clothes are yeah What if the aliens send theirs back and they're fully clothed and why did you guys check your signals? You fucking weirdos We actually said it's dick pic to space It's an intergalactic dick pic and it's a unnecessary dick pic to like no one looks like that and when they're waving to you Right, that's very like that's sending a bad message. Like, hi, I'm naked. Here I am.

No, you'd be covering your dick in balls. Like, hey man, where the fuck did you come from? Can't just look at my dick in balls. This is weird. I like that they didn't really put a vagina. They just put, like, here's the important part. Well, you see the penis clearly and the vagina. And then she Barbie dolled.

They Barbie dolled the. The woman is a little Barbie doll. Where's her pubes? Where's everybody's pubes? Is this on a porno set? This is a porno set. How come they got hair on their head? They don't have hair on their box.

Well, when was this sent out? They probably did have hair. 72. Hair is fuck. This is misleading. This is misleading. So they were very futuristic back then when they drew that. They were really into porn.

They were way ahead of their time and why does a guy have such Caucasian hair that's my other question right right like what percentage of the population

has hair that looks like that it looks like a young gnome Chomsky's hair it's just a weird image it's very weird hi aliens yeah here's my dick

but it's also it's like It's very weird. Hi, aliens. Yeah. Here's my dick. But also it's like it's weird and just that we're kind of acknowledging that superior intellects would think clothes are weird. Is that what that is? Yeah. We're letting them know. Like underneath all our Adidas and our fucking jeans. They must have argued about that too. They must have had like a long conversation.

Yes, I'm sure. These fucking, the people that are funding this are like, really? We draw on a dick and send it out to the aliens? Who was funding it? I don't know. Who was making the call? Sounds like the cowboy guy from The Simpsons. It was probably a Nazi.

Oh, yeah. Honestly, legitimately. That's right. Didn't we get all like Werner Von Braun? Oh, yeah. Dude, Wer legitimately. That's right. Didn't we get all like Werner Von Braun? Oh, yeah. Dude, Werner Von Braun was a legit Nazi. They used to hang the slowest Jews in front of his rocket factory in Berlin. Yeah.

Jesus. Oh, dude. The Simon Wiesenthal Center said that if he was alive, they'd prosecute him for crimes against humanity. What do you mean the slowest? Do they have a race? They had some thing where they would make everybody work faster and harder by killing the slowest.

They put the slowest guys, the slowest girls, whoever they, you know, the Jewish prisoners, and they would hang them. Yeah. Dude, there's... I remember him from like a Disney thing about rocket science. He was a part of Operation Paperclip. Right. There he is right there. And Operation Paperclip imported all these Nazi scientists to

run NASA I knew that but I didn't know part of that I thought he was always like no I wasn't with those guys look at him chillin but go to that picture again just stop and think about that this dude was a Nazi in Germany during World War II, comes back, and he's running our space program with his feet up on a desk. Do you want to go to space, or do you want to get hung up on people's Nazi past? For real, that's what it was.

Do you want to get a dick pic to space or not? They got this genius bilingual motherfucker to come over here and show us how rockets are done. They were ahead. They were ahead with rockets. They were ahead with rockets. They were ahead with engineering. Mattel goes, they were all ahead with science because they plug an extension cord into a Jew to try to invent a computer.

Mattel. I miss him. He's a guy that like, I don't want him to not be doing standup. Oh, I know. For this downtime. You know, he's, i don't know anybody does as many sets as dave like oh dude i like calling because i just know what's him calling because he's got there's no you know it says no number it's like a really ungodly hour like he was

killing me dude like he wanted to make a prank show called prankistan where it's just middle easterners doing pranks on people the most inappropriate pranks like uh yeah yeah he shouldn't be taking time off when do you think we'll be able to when you think we'll be able to stand up again if i was gonna ask you oh shit that's the problem right when everyone can get a test for covet 19 no the problem is well, you think that'll be it? I don't know. I didn't realize that the tests were so, just they're around. I thought, is it just in some states they don't have the tests? Well, some places don't have them.

And there's that. There's also that there's some tests that are FDA approved and some aren't. And why that is the case, I'm not going to speculate because I really wouldn't know what I'm talking about. Probably whoever fucking. Could be. I would be pretending if I knew. Whoever flew on the Epstein plane with the FDA guy. But the company I use, they're very confident that their tests work.

And they say even though they're not FDA approved, it're wrong or well-being for your own knowledge is it that they're incorrect mostly with false positives or they won't tell you and you did have it I don't know it's a good question because if it's false if they tell you that you had it and you didn't that's not quite as bad yeah it's a little more safe than sorry than a the doctor said they've had many positives they've had plenty of positives and a lot of people that just had like a little bit of a cough for a few days and it went away and it turned out to be positive. Really? Yeah.

And some people with no symptoms at all. Okay. So if you just had a cough and went away in a few days, does that mean you don't get? That's a good question. Right? Does that mean that you're immune? Does that progress? Yeah.

No one knows. They don't know. They really don't know. It's a new disease. Whenever something's't know it's a it's a new disease Whenever something's new it's like there's guesswork going on it's like who knows They don't really exactly know they know a few things about it. They're learning like they're getting lots of help from China plenty to help is uh The lady the Las Vegas mayor, that was what I was saying before, Anderson Cooper.

So Anderson's explaining this to her. And he's in a restaurant in China. She's like, China, this is Las Vegas, Nevada. This isn't China. He actually said to her, wow, that's very ignorant. That's an incredible... It was indicative of how those it was a ridiculous it was it was indicative of how those are first of all is indicative how those are not real conversations yeah right you're gonna talk about something that complicated it shouldn't be you're over there i'm over here there's like a

fucking thing in your ear you don't even see me right and you're just talking into a camera yeah which is what a lot of those are he loves it to and Anderson Cooper is one of the ones that loves having people fuck up stupid. He loves pretend performative oh I can't believe this and he's like keep it coming. Yeah keep it coming baby. Don't remember him as Donald Sterling when Donald Sterling was like

when magic had those AIDS I used to pray for him and all that shit. I watch Anderson Cooper in the video warning it might be kind of shocking like is it? Like, it looked like he was holding in, jizzing his pants every time the guy would say another word. Well, he's very good at his job.

He must enjoy some of that. He must enjoy catching people saying stupid shit like that. I mean, that's like what the whole job is. This is Las Vegas, Nevada. What does that mean? I do appreciate it. What does that mean? The disease doesn't spread the same way?

People from Vegas. First of all, people from Vegas are from the whole world. That's what's ridiculous. But there's a ton of Chinese people gamble a lot. A lot. A lot. Like, there was probably in Vegas before anywhere. Bro, they build casinos to the standards of Chinese people. Like, if there's things that are not feng shui,

like here's an example. The MGM. You had to walk in through the mouth of a lion. They don't let black people in? And they were like, check, please. We're not walking through a lion's mouth. They had to change the fucking facility. Wait, why is that?

Yes, it's bad luck. You can't walk into a fucking lion's mouth. It does make sense, by the way. It totally makes sense. What are you, stupid? I have that superstition now that you makes sense. What are you, stupid? You know, I'm thinking of- I have that superstition now that you mentioned it. Especially if you're gambling.

Yeah. And you're like, come on, babe, I'm going to take these motherfuckers down. And then you're walking through a lion's head. You're like, God damn it, it's a trap. I'm so stupid. I walked into the lion's mouth figuratively. Can they make it like a dragon's head or like a better luck animal? I don't think you're allowed to walk through an animal's head.

That means the animal's eating you. They're more sensible about it than we are. what if it's a very lucky dragon and it's eating you that's gotta be good yeah it's like you gotta be in the belly of the beast in order to get the magic no they're not dumb they're not gonna go through that fucking lion's mouth in on their way to a den of of gambling trying to win money you know this multi-billion dollar maybe uh if you didn't slaughter every rare animal to get a fucking six inch boner, you could, you wouldn't have these bad luck problems. Dude, can you imagine that whole rhino horn thing?

Like you're over some dude's house and you're like, would you like some rhino tea? The principle of it, the principle is literally just because it has a fucking horn that looks like kind of like a dick. Yeah. Don't have anything dick like on your person as an animal in China because you will Somebody will be like that somebody's got snort powder of that well, I talked to a friend of mine about this who is That he knows a lot about Chinese culture and what he said was that it's not

Really that they think it's gonna give him a boner cuz they know about Viagra, but it's that it shows that you have this. So it's a very difficult thing to get. Did you ever go there? I've never been to China. I've been to Taiwan, though. Taiwan is very different, I think. I've never been to Taiwan, but I went to the mainland, the big island of China. And it was the most materialistic, like having you know, having big labels on your clothes.

There's all these fake Ed Hardy jackets that I guess are very expensive. And it would have like a, like, remember Minnie Pearl that had that big price tag on her fucking head? It was like that big. And it would be hanging off a very obviously not Ed Hardy. Dude, there's a sneaker where it's in style to wear the label. We had a shit fit about it on this podcast. What's it called again, Jamie? Off-white shoes. Yes, there you go.

Thank you. It's a giant plastic tag. I hope it's a GPS tracker that just tracks dummies. It might be. Look at all these dummies with these tags on their feet. Let's see what they do. The people that keep that shit on their feet. Let's see what they do. That's the biggest insult you could say someone's

like you I heard you're poor like that's like terrible terrible insult there why would it say I heard you're poor it's just a way that people insult each other like oh you're poor like oh that's the meanest thing you can say I mean it's probably not the meanest like go go walk in a tiger mouth is the meanest. So if someone says, you're talking about in China. Yeah. So if someone says, I heard you're poor, that's like the worst insult they could say to you. Calling you poor.

The I heard part is just, that's just how it came out. Just calling you poor is like the ultimate insult. Yeah. So everything, it's like an 80s movie bully. Yeah. You know what's important about that? Whether it's North Korea or China, it's important for us to realize that there's styles of living that work. And one of the big one that works is freedom.

Yeah, right. And this is the best place for that freedom style of living is right here. And then you realize that in this same day and age, not a small country, but a country with three times as many people as us can be controlled by a military dictatorship. Well, dude, I was shocked. It sounds like a weird thing to say, but I was shocked by how much more freedoms they had.

And I don't mean, you're not free to like, hey, fuck you, the government. You're not at all. Don't even go out. yeah you can't if you said anything like that they would come after you when I did comedy like you'd say any political shit you want just nothing about China and at the time I was like I don't know anything

about China so fine so but you could just smoke wherever like the hospital you could like my friend we went to go eat at some hot pot place that was like the only Chinese food I had was hot pot It's called and we couldn't find parking and he fucking parked on some stairs like the front stairs to a bit He just parked like that and I was like, are you allowed to park here?

He goes it's fine. That's late. The cops went home the cops just go home Jesus Christ. Yeah, so that's why they had to have that So you know It is like 1984-ish But that social credit system Where they Yeah They can't possibly police That many people The cities I went to

Were like three New York New York City cities All next to each other In a row Like it's enormous It's like fucking A Judge Dredd It looked like

Going to the future Is what it looked like Everybody had a mask on That makes sense I got a theory man um and my theory is if you look at all the old old cultures like so many of the old old except for parts of europe but a lot of the old asian cultures they still like they've been around a lot like what country's been around longer than that's a massive point of pride

it's like you get an inverse kind of uh like in america's all it's like new money compared to old money like the but what my point was i wonder if like after a certain amount of years even uh like a real valid democracy eventually gives in to the weight of people's instincts to control each other. I wonder if like that's because It depends what it's based on. It's the longest surviving country, right? Somebody told me that they've had the same government this entire time, you know instead of a dynasty It's just like the generals kids and shit exactly And so this guy's like their empathy just been the same way forever and you just change the names of stuff So that's really what communism is.

The part of communism they're taking is like the state control. Yeah. But they have like a very like no welfare system kind of. It feels like an 80s movie. Like greed is good if it has that feeling about. You know what I mean? And also I was shocked how good the comics were. Really?

Like yeah. Well all the streaming stuff is there. So you know whatever. You know what I mean? And also I was shocked how good the comics were. Really? Yeah. Well, all the streaming stuff is there. So, you know, whatever. They've seen all your comedy. So they have like a – I was just surprised. Like, oh, this is like they get how to do stand-up. So were they expats?

Were there people that lived there? The shows I did were there were expats and also people from there. Wow. That's cool. But it's got to be a tricky tightrope to walk doing stand-up in China. Dude, not – well, I had nothing to say about China. I didn't know any of the Winnie the Pooh stuff at the time. Yeah, but I mean for someone who does stand-up there in China, like locals?

You have to more – I think what you have to worry about is another business because it's popular. People like it. But let's say some guy down the block runs a bar and he's jealous that you're getting business. He can go to the interior ministry people and go, they're putting anti-communist propaganda out. And then something with a buddy of mine and he, you know, he knew people at the ministry and they go, listen, we know you weren't doing that, but you just can't do shows for six months because merely because someone reported it We have to do that. So that's the that's the shittiest This is one of the that instinct that people have to do things like that It's one of the reasons why I got so upset when LA started offering rewards snitches get wishes on social

Social distancing violators. Yeah, so if someone is like high-fiving his neighbor or you go over to the next door neighbor's house to have dinner or something like that. People are snitching people out for money. I was already reporting people for high-fives before this virus. People are like, they're getting very into. Well, don't you think they just figured out like the people like that? Because when this first thing first his head people didn't it was funny watching especially like the social jihadis trying to figure out what side of this they're on right and they're like well i don't know so for a little bit they were like okay whatever trump says i'm against that and then now it's

more on the okay you got a social distance and like enforcing it it seems like that that group went to that now yeah and also policing who gets tested it. It seems like that, that group went to that now. Yeah. And also policing who gets tested. Yeah. Well, it seems like this is the new thing now, right?

It's like, here's the new thing to be outraged about. It's like, who is going outside without a mask? Who is doing this without gloves? you have to transfer your business. Like, cause that was a big business before this.

And it's like, how do I adjust my business? Which is, cause I don't think anyone is outraged. Yeah, no one is outraged. I mean, I have. Do you think they aren't? Or do you think they are false? They're foolishly focusing on things that are not as important.

Well, that's if you are serious about it. But that's not the people that like, you know, make a living off doing it. If I see it in the media, then it's not sincere. Well, there's a lot of that for sure. But there's a lot of things you can't rule out people actually being upset about something that's legitimately upsetting. Unless you're making it's almost like the thing we're talking about, the preacher thing. If you're getting rich off it, I don't believe you. Well, the problem is it's like a cry wolf thing.

It's like there are some things that like, did you see the Elon Musk beef that he got in with someone who is a reporter for CNN? Yeah. Why? Okay. Why are they so anti him? I don't know. I don't know. But it didn't make any sense because he said.

It's a respirator thing. Yeah. And he said, are you aware that there's a search function on Twitter? And then they played little semantic games. Well, he started retweeting these different nurses that are showing these respirators, and they're thanking him and smiling and holding up the Tesla sign. And he showed all the different places

that are getting these respirators and explained. And they're still like... They're not going to go back on it. So now they go... They're not retracting it. Well, they're not technically respirators. They're a different kind of thing. And they they are respirators it was different ones for different places i believe it's ones hospitals asked him to get and they are respirators they're non-invasive

respirators it's bullshit machine it's a worm yeah but it's pumping oxygen into your into your lungs right it's a type of a respirator isn't i don't know i don't have covet 19 i got tested well you just did congratulations i i don't know i don't have covid19 i got tested well you just did congratulations i i don't know i'm talking out of my ass but i do know that oxygen goes into those things i mean that's that's the whole reason they are technically people wear them yeah no they are event they're a kind of ventilator and the hospital said could you get these for us but out of all the shit to give someone a hard time about it's like he's there out to get donating these things He trashed the media him didn't he hit the knee on Twitter be like and what if it doesn't the press suck?

so it's like if you it's like he wrote cop killer or something like This is he's uh, if you go on YouTube this guy Alex Or Alec Bostwick. He's a reporter. And he's, I caught a video of his where he's explaining it. It's like cops. Like the media's like cops. And the PR person's your lawyer. So you don't ever talk to the cops

without a lawyer, you know? Wow. And they have, and we need journalists, we need cops, but the people that abuse it or they're corrupt,

which is like a lot of them. There's so many people doing it, right? And there's different styles of doing it. Well, there's a certain amount of like serve and collect where, so now these they were talking about covid19 like they didn't know

how to handle this for their business of like we got to condemn people it's almost like a fossil fuel they're almost out of right of digging your tweets they're like well how far back do your tweets go it's like a fossil fuel that they're always out of like and it's like there's ones they're saving like okay we have these old blackface pics of Tom Hanks or something. Yeah. What about these Indian baseball teams? Yeah, right. The Braves, the Indians.

Didn't somebody get mad at Adam Driver because of, this one was crazy. It was because he, I don't know, even though he's in the military, but he went and served in Iraq because after 9-11 he wanted to go fight against, you know, he said he had a vague. He goes, nothing against Muslims. I have a feeling of I want to go fight whoever attacks. So he's Islamophobic. There's a whole Twitter Islamophobia thing, which is wild, dude. That's how far disconnected Twitter is. That section of Twitter that does that.

That's how absolutely fucking break from reality Well, it's it's a new form of communication and through this new form of communication people have strengthened Ideologies right for good or for bad, and I think that's just part of what that is That's part of what that is with the outrage Twitter But it's also part of what that is with all the good stuff like the Scientific debate twitter and people talking about different issues in the calm collective way let's can't throw out the baby with the bath water there's some there's a lot of good to what's going on with like weird online social

discourse but you're definitely seeing people get in enraged and inflamed more often well by the way when you brought up the cult thing in the beginning, that's what it is. It's like, that's a certain kind of cult and you can't talk anybody out of being in a cult. Like, especially when I was like

a deep believer, no one would have, you wouldn't have shown me any evidence or anything that would have made me turn from my cult. When people leave,

it's because it didn't, when you needed to do what it's supposed to do, it didn't do that for you when you needed it. So that's how people leave. They don't leave because you tell them they're stupid or any of that. So all these Sokja's types are the same way. As it fails for them, you could see people now like, I'm not doing it.

Jamie Kilstein was one of the first, right? He's the best example, in my opinion, because he's been like really honest about how gross he felt when he was like attacking people on Twitter. Yeah. And he was like an ex-cult guy. It was crazy. Yeah. And then they went after him and he was like, oh, shit. Like, no one's safe.

Well, so that's the running out of fuel for these fucking things. So that's why. It's fossil fuel. Yeah. I mean, they're just going to dig through all of it. And it's like polluting. That's why they go into like 83, 1983. You touch someone's why. Fossil fuel. Yeah, I mean, they're just going to dig through all of it. And it's like polluting. And it's. That's why they go into like 83. 1983, you touch someone's vagina.

Who was 1983? In 1983, the 1980s one was actually the guy from Star Trek got in trouble. Who? Picard? No, no, no. The guy who's always on Howard Stern Show. Sulu? I know.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. George Takei. George Takei Stern Show. Sulu? I know. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. George Takei. George Takei. Wait, he grabbed a vagina, you said? No, he grabbed someone's penis or something. Oh, okay. In 1983 or something like that.

Like, legitimately. Like, talking about in the 80s. I mean, it sounds about right. Yeah. He said it never happened. But it's like if they run out of outrage. If people, like, really run out of outrage if people like really run out of outrage

and they go searching for it and old television shows yeah those are very like there's a lot of movies that if you went and went searching for them like Outrage like you get really mad

if you were looking you watch yeah right well people look at me Ace Ventura Pet Detective oh yeah who was mad about that

oh part two? Which is the one? No. The one where he goes to Africa? I just watched that recently. It wasn't Ace Ventura. What was the one where Sean... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Was it Ace Ventura? It was? That was. Right, where it turns out she was a guy. Finkles Einhorn? Einhorn is Finkles? Oh, no, that's part one, right?

That is, right. That is part one. All right. Yeah. There's so many old movies, man. I watched Tommy Boy the other day. There's so many movies that have scenes you couldn't do now. Fucking 30 Rock is all things you couldn't do now.

Yeah, no shit. What happened? You can't do them on the network. This is part of the reason for the mad grab for outrage things is stuff stuff like this or anything youtube or all that shit is eating up their lunch and so they they went all in selling to the fucking whatever the i whatever the idea of a millennial on twitter was yeah that's what people were pandering to and they called it on south park dude you remember the episode of uh what's his name pc principal where, where they introduced PC Principal? So there's a scene when there's two forms.

Like, well, PC's back. How long do you think it's going to be this time? He goes, six years. And I'll be goddamned. It was back in 2015, and now this shit's petering out. It's about six years. Yeah, people get mad, and then it's like a jackrabbit thing. There's populations of jackrabbits that go up and down like every seven years it's very it is oh that's right what i think ideas can very well be like diseases and that you know they they come and go and like a big one stick you know big eye whether it's a

religion the ones that have like this is what i think is going to be an ebola ultimately the the social justice thing is this and it's too burnt itself out too much well too many people inside of it got attacked and felt what it was like to be misrepresented yeah and there's no there's no fallback or it's also not nice look like if you're supposed to be the good person right if you're if you're really like if you someone social justice warrior one of the first thing they think is that they're doing a good thing and that they are um they have an intelligent philosophy right it's an it's not an idiot's way of looking at the world it's an intelligent way of looking at the world right and they want the only way in their eyes right because they get ideologically driven but i don't think they realize that a big part, if you act that way and

you're attacking people, I think you realize a big part of being a person is learning how to be nice to each other. And if you just go out of your way to attack people, you don't ever get those people to change their mind. What you do is you get those people mad at you. You get those people sad. They feel upset. They get angry. They get anxiety. Well, that sounds like human interaction things, and these are internet people. But you can't get them to listen to your opinion and take it seriously if you're disrespectful. That's just a tenet of human beings. Right.

And they're socially fucked up people that are engaging in these online wars. Right. And they're doing it for these little adrenaline bursts and these little dopamine hits and there's i mean that is why i do anything but they're a little dopamine they're addicted no it's a it's a weak ass but that's how you get like that is not having to look at someone and say anything you know so so it's just gonna burn out because there's no uh you know like christianity is a very that's a corona that's gonna around. It's been around a long time. Yeah.

They got that game locked up. Yeah. They got their own country. Well, coronavirus, you can get a, like, there's a forget. If I wanted to become a Jehovah's Witness again, and I was like, you know what? I repent for every, or whatever I did that took me out of this. And I want to be, then you can go in. So, so there's a, I could become that again.

Do you know what I mean? Like Jamie Kilstein can never be a social justice warrior. You wouldn't let him back in. So there's a, I could become that again. Do you know what I mean? Like Jamie Kilstein can never be a social justice warrior. They wouldn't let him back in. Yeah. Well, I saw people attacking him and misrepresenting him when he left. I was like.

People told me he raped someone. That's the shit that I had. That no one would ever, no one ever accused him of that. And then even when he, when he did leave, it's like, it's not like he attacked them.

What he was accused of is so crazy. It's just that Jamie went all in bashing other people. My feeling is if you- Was he accused of flirting with girls or something like that? It's so much worse. I mean, it's such a long story, but it's so crazy what the actual story is. It's just that he went after people.

And so when you do that, people turn on you like, well, fuck you. But you can't be like that. If somebody comes out of a thing, you've got to be cool. Yeah, you have to you would like people to be in real life Right if in real life I would like everybody to be real reasonable when they talk to each other and hang out with each other But on Twitter for some reason like people that think they're reasonable people Will say some shit that you would never say to someone in real life because if you did you'd be such a fucking asshole If you just look in face to face and you said some of the things that some people would just write to random people on

Twitter you would be a fucking asshole But for some reason well, that's the shocking thing clause Well, you can you matter like you would think the cruelty would create a callousness to it You know what I mean? But there's like, it's like people say they're crazy as shit, but then be hypersensitive to anything said. Right. Their direction. Right, right.

It's not like that's a good point. It's like we're like both punch each other and that's what we do. It's not like that big a deal. But they get more raw. It's really like an unsatisfying cult to be in. It's missing a thing. And the big thing, if you want to be right, is you got to be in. It's missing a thing. And the big thing, if you want to be right, is you got to be nice.

It's not a nice one. It's not a reasonable one. It's an attacking one. And attacking at a lot of things that are very debatable. And they just want you to state it as fact. There's no debate on this. Yeah. There's a lot of things that are very debatable. Like when it comes to any controversial issue, there's they're controversial for a reason.

They're like a lot of them, you know, there's, there's debate, there's debate that could be had. Now, if you can shut it right down. Yeah.

That's, that's what, that's the, when the Jehovah's Witness has the, you know, basically let's say you were like, Hey, something about this seems off and I have an issue with it.

You wouldn't raise your hand and say that in the, because because in the Bible, you don't want to stumble your brother. Like what if your doubt or whatever you had, like keep it to yourself. You know, there's a time to discuss it. I don't know when, but the worst thing that could happen is you hurt someone else's faith by you saying the thing that's obvious, that's in front of your face. So that lets in all kinds of horrible. What if you hear about like molestations or you know, uh Children witness is actually the largest settlement in history Really for that? Yeah, and it's not because someone in a position of authority did it It's because they did what all these places do and didn't go to the cops

They're like we're gonna handle it and that's why we a bunch of church things like if this kind of uh they're like we're gonna handle it and that's by the way a bunch of church things like if this kind of kid diddling happens and when it happens it's really a morality issue of probably the kid like like uh well we have to see if they need to be married now that's the kind of well it's just old ass uh bronze age you know how crazy is the catholic church is there another country that is like the vatican the v The Vatican is like a country that's inside of Italy, right? Yeah. Isn't it essentially like a- No, it's a sovereign nation.

And is the idea that so that no one can get kicked out? Like they can't get extradited to the rest of the free world for crimes? You know, I don't know. I think it's like medieval- It has to have something like that. I think it goes back a long time. But how weird is that? I mean, how weird is that?

Like, if you've got a kid fucking priest and they're holed up in a church over there, you're supposed to leave them there. I mean, it's probably the best place for them, right? It's not a heavy kid population. It's just a bunch of other... All religions, by the way, have roughly as much as the Catholic Church. Pedophiles? Yes. Really?

All of them. Some more so. It's just, you know, they actually kind of handled it more and they didn't do a great job. No. But they did it. Their reckoning came that it hasn't really come for a bunch of others on such a large. But you don't hear about that with like Baptists or Lutherans?

Of course you do. Really? You should talk to, my friend Brooke was in Quiverful. What's Quiverful? The 19, remember the show 19 and Counting? No, I don't. With the Duggar family. Oh, that's right.

Yeah. And it's like your quiver is supposed to be full. Your quiver. Yeah, you're just supposed to always be having kids. There's a good analogy there because if you're one of those assholes that has a 20 arrow quiver, that's a lot of weight to carry around. I can fit 20 arrows in my wife's pussy now. Well, it's like there's a quiver analogy, believe it or not, for archery and particularly for bow hunting.

Yeah, that probably goes back a long way. You don't want to take too many arrows. Like one of the best bow hunters I know, my friend John Dudley, he only takes four arrows. That's it. He only has four because it weighs your bow down. He doesn't want a bunch of weight over here on the side of his bow. So the analogy is to not have too many kids. Yeah. If you have 19.

Theirs is like have 19 arrows. I know, but it's a bad analogy. But the idea like, oh, I'm going to have a hundred arrows. Okay. But you got to carry those around, stupid. Do you know who founded it? The idea. And by the way, it's not its own religion. It's a thing that if you're just like you could be a Methodist and you're in that movement. Do you know what I mean? I think. The founders are some dude who's still there. And this chick who, former feminist, who changed to this.

Like she went the other extreme. That happens too sometimes. Yeah. People flip- she went the other extreme. That happens too sometimes. Yeah, where do you see- People flip-flop the other way. If you thought you didn't like the hyper-left kids, wait until they become Republicans, how much you're not going to like them. Oh, their kids are going to become Republicans for sure.

There's a lot of them are going to flip. A lot of them are going to get older. We were talking yesterday on the podcast, I did with Owen Smith, we were talking about farmers, how most farmers, a lot of them are Christian, and a lot of them are right wing. Why is that? A lot of them are right wing. Oh, yeah.

I was saying because they're no-nonsense people because they get up at 6 o'clock in the fucking morning every day. They have to do. And they feed the chickens and milk the cows, and they have to do it every goddamn day. They don't want to hear your bullshit. They have no time for lazy people they they think everybody's trying to make a fast buck and they're out there hustling every day yeah no no uh if you've never been around it people have never been around that have the most tv like dipshit hollywood idea of what farmer yeah it's crazy hard work really fucking hard yeah real strong

remember um those are different kind of people. You know Harris Stanton? Did you know him? No. He's a comic? He's in that accident with Tracy. Remember that when Tracy's tour bus got hit? He was one of them?

Yeah, he's a lot. I mean, he's not dead. I don't know. Oh, you're freaking out. Harris, he's from South Carolina. He used to be a- He was going to play baseball or something, then hurt his fucking leg and became a comic.

But he fucking, one of the strongest fucking people I ever, because he used to do tobacco bails. Oh, Jesus Christ. It was like southern tobacco farming. So it's like, what are you, country strong? It's crazy how strong they are. Do you know how crazy that is?

That's actually a workout for CrossFit. Yeah. The kettlebell workout. It's called the farmer's walk or farmer's carry. Did you see that? You take a heavy kettlebell in each hand, you walk with it. So you do work. It's called the farmer's walk or farmer's carry. Did you see that? You take a heavy kettlebell in each hand, you walk with it. So you do work.

Why don't you just get a job? Wow, that is really, I would just form at that point. Well, farmer strength. Do all the motions. Farmer strength is a real strength. Like wrestlers always talk about farmer strength. It's like an expression. I mean, it sounds so close to retorn strength, but. But I get it. Well, you can talk about farmer strength. It's like a, like a, an expression. I mean, it sounds so close to retard strength,

but you can still say farmer strength, but the idea is you're picking up bales of hay all day. Like they're doing things all day. And instead of working out, which is like you burn yourself out in an hour. No, that's the most tremendous. Working.

Just, I didn't, my friend's dad drove a, a truck, you know, a tractor trailer cross country. And his fucking and he had like Popeye forms because the shifter on his thing.

Oh, I'm sure. It was fearsomely strong. It was upsetting how strong his dad was. And I just remember like everybody's dad had a job like that. Well, think about some jobs like lumberjack. Like a lumberjack, you immediately think of a giant man. I think of the paper towel giant. Yes.

For that job, he was a lumberjack, right? The paper towel guy, was he a giant? The brawny guy's not a giant. He maybe is a normal man. Paul Bunyan is not the brawny guy, but I looked at him.

Is the brawny guy a ripoff of the Paul Bunyan character? Paul Bunyan's like the fairy tale or whatever. But what is, are we imagining the brawny guy incorrectly? I have a feeling he's just a regular sized guy. I think he's just a handsome.

He's the kind of guy men and women want to fuck. That's right. He's like a Marlboro Man type character. He would be the guy that starts the orgy in the LSD camp.

Yeah, it's a regular dude. Oh, he's clean. Now he looks like Teddy from. It's just a perspective thing. I remember there's an older guy. But the other, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, see? That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, there we go. I remember this guy. The other guy with the mustache. The guy with the mustache on the left-hand side. Yeah, he's just a regular-sized guy with some trees behind him. The guy in the top two, is that the same guy or is that different mustache guys? The new guy is... That guy is...

He died of HIV, sadly. That's why we have this new like how did i don't understand why they got rid of the old brawny guy and made a totally different guy a brawny guy because this this guy looks like he lives in long island and uh yeah he really he looks like adam carolla he owns a travel company he's got out like one of them uh second wait market ticket sales companies yeah they had a thing strength has no gender what is that it's a brawny commercial please yeah don't say that's real yeah strength has no gender that's true i guess why are they in the, well, it looks really like a lesbian book club of some kind.

Like, look at the, there are definitely women that are stronger than some men. Yeah. Well, I get it, but I don't know why I don't, first of all,

I don't need why, why a paper towel would tell me anything. Well, not only that, why is it assuming that I don't think that women are strong? It's assuming it. That's why they have that. It's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, strength has no gender. Okay, listen, it's not women. It's assuming it. That's why they have that. It's not at you.

It says strength has no gender. Okay, listen to this. It's at women. It's at women. But listen, what if it was us? What if it was a bunch of meathead looking men standing there and said strength has no gender? People would be like, hey, fuck you.

Fuck you. We know you're strong. Stop. Stop. Women are strong too. Like, okay, I didn't say you weren't. I just said strength has no gender and here's me and my friend. Somebody in marketing, that's like whoever does the marketing,

they're like, what do women, whoever the Don Drapers that go, what do women want? They're white. They're angry. They don't think they're strong. Like, that's the purely, it's like the dumb dad on the sitcom thing. That's just like a thing that's been going on for, I don't know, forever. That image, that insulting fucking. Yeah. They're teaching you about life while they're selling you paper towels.

Because every woman is an engineer. But that picture, go back to that picture. I would feel so sold out if I was a guy and I was really into brawny because I kind of look like the brawny guy. And then I go to buy my brawny towels and there's three chicks. They stole her position. If you felt like the brawny guy. But literally it's like pregnant men. Okay.

The brawny guy is a goddamn lumberjack. I would assume most lumberjacks are probably big, strong men. You don't think he became a gay kind of icon? I mean, I understand what you're saying. But the idea that they have three female lumberjacks. Three. Well, you got to do the job of one man. That was a lob for the Grand Slam.

He has to jack the lumber of one full man. This is going to take three of these strong ladies. What are the percentages of women that are lumberjacks, and what's the likelihood of three of them being on a team? In that picture, he looks like a guy who's about to take a shit-a-lot. And by the way, this is an ignorant question. I'm aware. If you're a female lumberjack and you're mad at me right now, I'm sorry.

I don't know anybody that's a female lumberjack. I'm just asking questions. I mean, they're wearing lumberjack clothes. That's what a lumberjack wears. I'm assuming. Are you posing? What is this? Is this stolen valor? Is this stolen valor?

Are you pretending you're out there carrying trees? You wearing a lumberjack shirt is stolen valor. It's stolen valor. These aren't lumberjacks. These are models. These are hot chicks with nice nails. They're not out there carrying trees and shit. You know, they could, by the way, they're not, I'll tell you what, the women that do

do that job, I promise they're not going to put on the paper towels. You're right. They're going to look like you. Yeah. Just fucking put a wig on the guy. Look at that one lady with her sleeves rolled up. Are you about to go to work? Look at her.

Go to that picture. Click on that. She's got this really thin body, these that picture click on that she's got this really thin body there's really thin arms and she's got her sleeves rolled up with a flannel shirt flannel shirt on in front of a bunch of trees are you about to chop trees down ma'am because you weigh 90 pounds i think the idea is to make you think that you feel like a lumberjack while you're wiping your counter down is the is what they're trying to i think we need to be more respectful about what the fuck it means to be a lumberjack i would think you would you would think that that would be romantic until you did that job eight hours a day five days a

week and your fucking body's broken down because you're carrying logs on your shoulder and shit you're chopping at trees oh my god was your father a lumberjack because no this is what i feel you can't pretend you're a goddamn lumberjack you can't take a hot model and cover her face with a little bit of coal powder and pretend she's a coal miner in west virginia getting black lung you can't because she's not that sounds like a great point i believe you you're not a lumberjack lady and that guy okay brawny what if that was for similac and uh he was breastfeeding that would be fucking hilarious just as likely as that lady being a lumber. Just as likely.

Lumberjack is a brutal physical. If a woman's doing it, that woman's going to be jacked. She's going to be strong as fuck. What's the one that. Jeans shirt. They just left it with that. Dude, what's the one that kicked off the whole like. Oh, the Gillette one. Like the one that kicked off the whole fuck men advertising strategy.

What was that one? You know, the fucking Gillette. I don't remember. It was a while ago. Did I miss it? Did I miss some outrage? Yeah, we talked about it, I'm sure. You must have talked about it.

Which one was it? It was about is this the best a man can get? And it was like the Me Too movement. Time's up. Fucking the guy's looking in the mirror at himself and then it cuts. Do you, don't remember this? Now I remember it. Yeah.

It was preposterous. I am pretty high, so. No, no, no. I remember it now. I blocked it out like a childhood molestation. Well, then there was like a fake debate. All these people are like, I'm never buying Gillette. People are tweeting, they're throwing out their fucking Gillette razors.

And somebody told me it's brilliant because it's to the women who are buying the razors. But here's the thing. The women that are buying, they're not into that either. A woman that's buying razors for a man is also not into the fucking Gillette ad. So whoever is in charge of the marketing, it's their entire like... What do you think that is? Do you think that's like someone who decides they're going to cash in on a movement

and they just say maybe there's an opportunity here to make some money and... Oh, dude. Wait, were you... Okay, I totally forgot. What? Do you remember... Look at this.

The guy... Men with their fucking sitcom... Now, did you see what they just showed? The guy put his hand on her shoulder. No, it was a fucking sitcom where a white guy grabs his black maid's ass and it's all men in the audience going, ha, ha, ha. What fucking show was that? The guy would just fucking grab his maid's ass and everyone's like, yay.

Is there a show like that? No. Maybe Married with Children? No. No, even then. Let me see it again. That's fake. That's so fake.

That's weird. That's such a bizarre dynamic. But you're right. You're dead right because it's a recreation of something that didn't really happen. What is that supposed to be an example of? That's not even like a mashup of anything I've ever seen. But it's like they made a fake TV show? Yeah.

Here's an example of the type of shows you like. No one was watching that. But that's not even a show, right? That's why it's so weird. It's not even, yeah. So it's like a straw man show. The whole thing is a fucking straw man. Right, but I mean, that's a weird way of doing it.

Is that what they were depicting? Were they depicting a fake sitcom? Yeah, a fake sitcom. It seemed like it, right? I mean, it seemed like it was. Yeah, right. How weird is it that they don't have a real example how weird is that this is like on a fake set right there there he is yeah how weird is that like not even a puppet did shit like that

on one of the puppet sitcoms from the 90s and that's weird too the guy put his hand on that girl's shoulder and she had this weird look on her face like oh my god i know that's the craziest like if a woman i thought it was a joe biden campaign if you were working with the woman and she put her hand on your shoulder like that you'd be it would be nothing um right yeah well it's not a good well it's not a good example to put in your ad i look in a real situation like hey i felt this weird thing i'm sure there could be a situation that someone puts their hand on your shoulder and it's weird, right? Oh, yeah. Not automatically.

Or that they insulted you and then they put their hand on your shoulder. Why are you putting this? The whole point that I can't get past is why the fuck is, why are you talking about this? Why aren't you telling me how great your razors are, you fucks? You should be begging me to buy your fucking, you fucking moron. What are you doing? They think be begging me to buy your fucking ring you fucking moron what are you doing they think it causes teaching people no because then you talk about it like on a podcast right and then they're like see you've got engagement that doesn't mean people are going to buy this shit i'm not going to not buy it i just think some marketing person fucked up i don't think it's representative of the whole company um it's a marketing person they just they decided

they were going to like yeah right hatch or hitch a ride onto the back of this movement a bunch of things did yeah for a ton of things isn't that weird when they do that it's like like it's you think i'm so stupid i'm not gonna know what you're doing that you're because statistically you are that's they have some kind of research where they're like yes you are statistically it's like the letter from nigeria to well it's like they're trying to be creative right where they're like, yes, you are statistically. It's like the letter from Nigeria to. Well, it's like they're trying to be creative, right? So they're like creative people that are making up these scenarios. Like there's a commercial.

It's like a little scenario. Here's where they have a guy. His bush is too hairy. He's posing for the picture. Right. They're going to send it to space. But they want him to shave his sack and balls. That's the guy.

I mean, I want to show. Could's the guy i mean i want to i want to like show could you this is what i want to show i want to show the guy going well we we we want to use you but and the guy's like fuck and then you see him in the bathroom holding his ball did you see joey diaz's balls were on twitch no they got the comedy store got in trouble, and there's like a real violation. Wait. What is it? An FTC or FD? Wait a minute. What is it?

FDA might have violated them. What? They do it at a comedy store, live, fucking quarantine podcast. Well, how did it get to his balls? Because he pulls them out. He's bored. So Joey Diaz just pulls his balls out, and he's holding on to them like he's got two kitten heads and an old lady's pantyhose.

I mean, they're the biggest balls you've ever seen in your life. Isn't that a violation of Twitch to fully have your balls? Yeah, they got kicked off of Twitch. It wasn't good, but you gotta see the video. The video's hilarious. Can you find the video? I have it on my phone. I saved it. Here's how good it

was. It was so good, I screen recorded it. I'm like, this is gonna It was so good, I screen recorded it because I'm like, this is going to go away. They're going to pull this down because people are communists and they don't want to see something amazing. So watch this. So look, that's a screenshot of someone filming it. That looks like, dude, I thought he had fake balls as a joke. Those are real. I've seen them for years. The first time I saw them was in 96. He's got a lot of ball skin, dude.

His balls are soft balls. They're soft balls stuffed in a flesh-covered pantyhose. Bert's got his shirt off. Yeah, it's chaos. It's chaos. Yeah, I'll donate money. Yo, goddamn. Yeah, I'll donate money. Yeah, goddamn. Yeah.

Because I'm just thinking of the amount of distance of scrotum you need to flop him out that amount. His balls are preposterous. He's obligated to take them out so you understand about. So you get what he's saying. He's not playing any games. So that you get what he's saying. This is his real balls. There it is.

This is a screen grab. That's probably, he'd go to jail for that or something. Everybody got assaulted. Well, I might have not said that until I saw the size of those balls. Bert's in a trap. Bert's trapped. Never put his shirt back on? Yeah, he's trapped in an I always have to take my shirt off thing.

Same thing happened at Dignitaro. How many ladies, oh oh that's even darker i forgot about tigs anyway terrible person i know i got so high um yeah imagine why can't women do that is there a topless female comic because you don't it, it's not, when Burt's taking his shirt off, it's not like sexual except to like, you know, if you're into bears. Right, but is there a woman that could do that same kind of thing? She has to be not attractive. Hmm. But that's the whole Burt thing too, right? Listen, you need to be a guy.

You don't want to be that hot. Yeah, well, Burt's, because his body's large, that's why he takes his shirt off. I feel like it was braver of him to have his shirt off than anyone ever taking their shirt off. No, because it's part of the fun. It's part of the, I don't give a fuck. Is it brave for Burt? Because you don't have to applaud him for that. Oh, right, right, right.

You just want to. But it accentuates the comedy, whereas a girl's big tits don't really accentuate the comedy. Like, Burt's big belly accentuates the comedy. I mean, it's like you're hanging out at a pool with Bert laughing. That's what the effect is he creates. And a girl just pulls her tits out. It's just weird. If you're that kind of a fag guy, I mean, yeah.

I guess there better be, like, a baby on the end of it, I guess. Well, women could do it. We would just have to be accustomed to it. The problem is, like, if a woman just pulls her tits out and starts telling jokes, we're not used to that. If it was always like that, it would be just like you see on those old documentaries of like, you know. Yeah. Somewhere in Africa, they don't have bras and it's not a thing. It would be just like that.

Exactly. Which is how human beings, all of us used to be. The whole planet before anybody figured out how to put clothes on. If we, Joey Diaz's balls were out all the time. We all could, uh. Well, it's sort of like it goes back to what we were saying

about the couple that they drew on that little plaque that they shot off into space. Boy, one of the aliens finding out about Joey Diaz's balls,

they are gonna fucking. Oh my God. His dick and his balls. That should have been sent to space. That really should be sent to space to represent us.

Hee hee. Hee hee hee. That wasn't the only thing that was on the screen. What, did he show his hog? No, it wasn't Joey. Who else? Earlier in the stream. Earlier?

Yeah. What happened? Wait, there was a different guy's ball? Is that Bobby Lee? Yeah. Bobby Lee showed his ass. Outrageous. Did he show his ass?

Oh, so there's like a context for it. He showed his whole asshole? I mean, kind of. You know, Bobby Lee's another ass. Outrageous. Did he show his whole asshole? Oh, so there's like a context for it. He showed his whole asshole? I mean, kind of. You know, Bobby Lee's another get naked guy. Oh, yeah, yeah. He'll get naked. I've seen Ari Shafir's balls and dick multiple times as well. He'll pull everything out.

No, yeah. Ari, didn't Ari do something for Skank Fest where he was on stage naked? You know, Ari's trying to become a shirt off guy. He could. He's always, well, he'll do it if he wants to, whether he can or not. He does shirt-off walks, takes pictures of himself. All the time. Suns out, guns out, New York City.

Yeah, he walks around New York with like. You've never seen a guy take to New York better than Ari Shaffir? Like a duck to water. Just right in his little pond. He's like, ah, found pond yeah spot as many trips across Asia probably helped him prepare he loves New York yeah I'm sick of it I mean I like I liked it for a long time but I've got very it's a different way of living man I can't just have I don't want another winner like that goes to April that I can't do it. I wonder how much of that has an impact.

Who gets the most colds and flus? Is it people that live in the cold on the East Coast, or are they more accustomed to it so they get less of them, or is it people on the West Coast? It's how tightly packed in you are to other people that are going to have it. Right, that's probably why New York hits so hard. It probably helps your immune system at a certain point being in New York because you just bombarded with fucking.

That makes sense that it would help your immune system except for something you don't have an immunity to like this coronavirus, which is why it was so bad in New York, right? Because your immune system is probably accustomed to all those other things. I believe you. I just have no, I don't even know enough to know if that's, or it's when you take your balls out. I don't know enough. All those other things. I believe you. I just have no, I don't even know enough to know if that's, or it's when you take your balls out. I don't fucking know. I want to know at the end of the day,

what, what happened. And it's just gonna, everybody wants to draw a conclusion long before. It'd be awesome if they tested Joey Diaz's balls for Corona when they were testing. He's patient zero. You got to squeeze them out like that.

So there's a drop of blood. Oh, what? He's patient zero You gotta squeeze him out like that So there's a drop of blood What So how long from Bobby Taking his ass out That's a good question Which is more offensive Bobby's asshole Or Joey Diaz's balls It's hard

I don't know if there's a Tough call Both equally are Well one is way more impressive Bobby Lee's asshole Is a regular sized asshole Bobby Lee Same as I don't know if they're both equally are. Well, one is way more impressive. Bobby Lee's asshole is a regular-sized asshole. Bobby Lee, same as... Joey Diaz's balls are a thing of nature. Like, wow.

You know, it's like when you see a bird, like a toucan that has a crazy beak. Like, look at his fucking beak. Holy shit. It is exactly like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like an exotic bird. Yeah, you see other birds, they have normal beaks. Like even an eagle, it's a normal beak.

Right? But then you see like a fucking, like a snake. If it talked, it would be like, oh, he's one of those set of balls that talks. Yeah, like a shoebill. Like one of them big shoebills from Africa that is a, you ever seen one of those motherfuckers? They call me the shoebill because I got huge balls. My favorite ridiculous bird. Oh, Toucan's got a crazy one.

He's got a super bright one. Tell me that doesn't get him some pussy. It has to. I don't know. Look at that picture. That's beautiful. God damn, that's pretty. I mean, come on.

How psychedelic is that bird? Shit, I want to fuck that bird. That bird is beautiful. It really does look food flavored. I thought the cereal was making that up. Okay, if that wasn't real, if that wasn't a real thing and someone drew that We go. What is this the new fucking avatar monster? What is that? It does look like an avatar monster It looks freakier than an avatar monster. Look how long that fucking beak is

Do you think dinosaurs are like that's probably all the dinosaurs were that kind of crazy point percent? I'm By the way, 100% not capable of saying 100%. I don't know what I'm talking about. But I think it's been confirmed that birds are like leftover dinosaurs, right? What are those? Look at that thing. You know, they're like big dodos. They're dead now.

Terror birds. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We've talked about them a ton of times. Too much, almost. Can you imagine getting killed by something that's stupid looking? They're. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We've talked about them a ton of times. Too much, almost. Can you imagine getting killed by something that's stupid looking? They're like nine feet tall, dude. The shoebill's the one I was talking about earlier. Look at that motherfucker.

That's alive today. It's a kind of duck. It's huge. Oh, my God. It's like five feet tall, and they're so evil-eyed. I feel like Joey's balls look friendlier than that bird. Look at that. Imagine that thing standing up, looking at you in the eye, moving towards you, thinking

about eating you. Yeah, I don't like the... Around the eyes, I see he looks like Ray Liotta. I don't like it. Like the Ray Liotta that was hearing the helicopters overhead. Yeah. Look at the eyes in that motherfucker. Karen.

Karen, I needed that. Karen, why? Karen Karen I needed that Karen why look at that fucking eyeball look at the eyeball on that thing that thing doesn't give a fuck if you live or die like the sequel poster face Jesus Christ now imagine that but imagine it nine feet tall and that was those

terror birds get a picture of those that's, wait, that's a bird that's alive now? That's a bird that's alive right now. Oh, I thought it was like a CG... No! Dude, that... I thought that was from one of those on Discovery where they make the fake... Oh, right, right, right. Like they reenact

a dinosaur. They did it with mermaids for somebody's birthday? No, this is a real bird. It's a real bird that lives... Oh my God, that's real? Yeah, it lives in the bird. It's a real bird that lives- Oh my God, that's real? Yeah, it lives in the Congo. It lives in Africa. His face really does- They're fucking big, man.

It really does look like a Reebok, his fucking head. It's a monster. There's a crazy video of one of them eating a snakehead fish. It snatches his- Oh yeah, they're super carnivorous. Weren't snakeheads the ones who were like, who will take all these snakeheads off our hands because there's so many fucking snake heads?

Well, they're an invasive species over here. So now we've got to bring in these shoe bells. That fucking thing. That's the fish. Yeah. And this thing snatches it up and gobbles it. Oh. And that thing breathes air.

And this motherfucker comes in and gets it. Dude, that's a crazy dinosaur-looking face on that shoe head. What's it called? A shoe head? Shoe bell. Look at him eating that. That's great. I mean, that is a fucking dinosaur.

That really looks like a fucking dinosaur. Shoebills are metal is the name of the video, which is hilarious. Because they are definitely metal. I would think that was like an evil duck. A fake thing. Yeah. You would think that's a fake thing. It's a five foot tall bird.

Where do they live? Those are in Africa. But where? Oh, well, the documentary that i saw was they were talking about the congo look at his fucking shoulders and shit i don't know what part of africa they live oh in the god damn that's crazy yeah crazy now imagine those fucking terror to the eyes it looks like a puppet they make a realistic puppet for one of those discovery uh walking with dinosaurs? Look at that. That looks like a goddamn animatronic. It's so fake looking.

They should never do CG because puppets look more real. I know. Well, they have a real hard time with feathers and they have a real hard time with fur. It's hard to get fur to look completely realistically. I saw that new movie with Harrison Ford and the dog. Is that a fake dog? It's a fake dog. Yes.

It's so weird. It's weird. It's weird because it doesn't get past the uncanny valley. I would never get past. It's him looking and you're like, I know you're not looking at a dog, dude. Oh my God. Call of the Wild, right? Isn't that what it is?

Yeah. It's all fake dogs, fake wolves. There's a lot of fake everything. Do you have a dog in real life that you could kind of fake it with? No, man. You got to get these dogs to do very specific shit it's weird it's real close real close that's not that was trying to put a little flourish in there too it's you love this dog though man okay remember see look like that's awful that looks like the hobbit dude and the dog awful it's like look right there like there he. So it's always a little off.

Who's the person there? They got like a dwarf to be the... I mean, they didn't do shit, man. This is all... I mean, he's just staring at the ground, I guess. Why would you animate... Like a dog's a Bigfoot or something that we have to simulate. Because they got to get the dog to do very specific things.

And I think... Harrison Ford did look a little bit CG. He probably was this is like a low-key flex The dogs gonna say they should have made it all animated if they're gonna do that Yeah, right right the people too right? Oh, it would be kind of cool. You're right Yeah, it'd be like the Polar Express or some yes, which is so creepy Yeah, like in the future like that that is going to be a horror movie this is almost like roger rabbit if it wasn't funny though the the man acting with the animated yeah animal the call of the wild and this is called the call and i've never read the book the call the wild when i was a kid but this is very different than the book they took a lot

of liberties and there's a lot of things they changed. You know, and also you got to turn it into a movie. I don't know who fucking made it, but it was really good. 20th Century. So, yes. It was actually really good. It was a good movie? Yeah, it's a good movie.

Oh. But in terms of like a family movie. Oh, right. See, I watch movies with my kids. Right. So there's a lot of movies that I watch that probably wouldn't. I'll never see that because I don't have kids. We've taken some chances on some movies that were...

What turned out to be a mistake? Well, not that it was bad, but that watching it with a nine-year-old, Jojo Rabbit. Oh, yeah. It's more serious. This is about kids getting killed by Nazis. Like, hey, maybe not right now. Yeah, right. So then we switched to adam sandler also we uh tried to watch the first season of lost but we put on the um first episode

of the first season and when the guy gets sucked into the uh the airplane engine they show that yeah my nine-year-old's like cut fuck this stop this i'm not watching people get sucked into engines after a plane crash the fuck is wrong with you i'm nine she's right you're like she's right the kid's right yeah i haven't seen that i haven't had to consider because i'm a kid so i you know if i see my nieces you know what's a good safe bet is adam sandler movies but which some of them are like, there's some really inappropriate scenes. Yeah, which are the, like, they're newer ones or which are the ones that are like. The best is Zohan.

Zohan's one of the funniest movies ever. Oh, yeah, I like the Zohan. It is a fucking funny movie. It is so funny. Yeah, I like that movie. It's like the end, it was like ridiculous. Yeah, the singing thing. Yeah, it was kind of preposterous.

But it was fun enough that I was like, you got me. I'm going with you the whole ride. Yeah, the singing thing. Yeah, it was kind of preposterous. But it was fun enough that I was like, you got me. I'm going with you the whole ride. Yeah. You know? I mean, it's just... What else is... It's a funny movie, man. Like an unapologetically, ridiculously funny movie.

Oh, his fucking Netflix. Did you see his Netflix? I didn't see it, no. I heard it was very good. Really good, dude. Yeah, I heard it was very good. Dana White loved it. He's awesome, man. I know him. He's a great guy. I've met him it, no. I heard it was very good. Really good, dude. Yeah, I heard it was very good. Dana White loved it. He's awesome, man.

I know him. He's a great guy. I've met him a few times. He's a very, very, very nice guy. But his movies are so unapologetically funny. Like, just goes for all the ridiculous jokes. Yeah, well, you get a... Zohan is all of its, like, dick jokes and sex jokes.

It was like all the He got that blowback because of On a talk show he said like I was just going on vacation With the last couple or something right That's Remember there was like a Oh I wasn't paying attention

He got blowback Yeah cause he said like The ones that aren't that good Like the ones that are good I remember They're like you know Like I remember Simpsons lines Or what you know like

Fucking Billy Madison And all that shit He's got a bunch of people remember and then gilmore there's like gilmore's a classic that's a happy gilmore the but the ones that i don't know if they didn't do well like they're with uh what's her name uh from et jubamer yeah i think it's like those ones but he said something like the last few movies are just going on vacation Oh, he said that I think it probably probably didn't mean it like I Did I don't think he meant he was like phone it in Adam Sandler confirms that his movies well see then you got your immediate Then that's why I wrote it. Yes. Also. He could just be being He could be just being funny and you know funny

You know because I have done that he 51st Date, Sandler explained. It was written in another place. I said, imagine if we did it in Hawaii. How great would that be? And they said, yeah, that's a very artistic idea. I've been doing that ever since. So he's just saying he does his movies and vacations at the same time. That's pretty wise.

Yeah, well, it sounds like it got made into a thing by an article. You know what they are, dude? He's just saying he does his movies and vacations at the same time. That's pretty wise. Yeah, well, it sounds like it got made into a thing by an article. You know what they are, dude? They're just funny, right? He just tries to do the funniest thing. And for whatever reason, some people have decided that that's dumb. Because there's some movies that don't do that. There's like Coen Brothers movies where more sophisticated humor that still gets you just as hard. I like all those Coen

Brothers movies, but I never thought of them as like a... Who's the... Oh, Farrelly. That's one thing. What's the bowling one? Oh, Kingpin. Yeah, that's Farrelly Brothers, right? Yeah, and that holds up pretty fucking good. Pretty fucking good. That's a brilliant movie. That's a brilliant movie.

You know what I saw fairly recently? A friend of mine showed me Withnail and I. Did you ever hear that? No. What is it? It's from like the 80s and it's fucking George Harrison from the Beatles produced it. It's a comedy. Fucking hilarious, dude.

Really? I never, I heard of the title, but I'd never seen it. And I don't know if you remember in Wayne's World, they had that guy who was like a roadie who would tell crazy stories. Yes. That character they took from this movie. And that's what he's doing. It's the same actor.

Whoa. It's that guy's in it and this guy. Does that help? Dude, I had never seen it. It was fucking hysterical. Wow. In what years is this? They're like out of work actors

and they live in this fucking rat infested, you know, because they're alcoholics and they go to the country to get away from their stress. I don't know. I don't want to spoil it. It's really goddamn funny. There's some great fucking old movies that slip through the cracks or that people forgot This one I like. I like Blazing Saddles.

Really? Yeah. I like it. I like of like a, you could make that now. I like it like that. Itdles. Really? Yeah. You could make that now. I like it like that. It really is fucking classic. I heard of it, never watched it, but it's fucking funny. I'll check it out.

I'll check it out. Yeah. You know who still makes movies the same way? It's Tarantino. He still makes Hypervinyl. I like that new one. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it a lot.

Once Upon a Time in hollywood but i just have a foot fetish so that's why i'm in time yeah it was pretty awesome though yeah yeah it was pretty awesome did you see that bruce lee do you believe the bruce lee what do you think that whole bruce lee thing is about well i've talked about it almost too much but in the interest of keeping up this conversation, I don't think he's right. He depicted Bruce Lee in a way that made him look like an asshole. Right. And I think Bruce Lee was very confident, but I don't think there's really any evidence that he was a dipshit. And in that movie, they make him out to be kind of a dipshit.

And there was a real instance, and this is what I've talked about beforeuce lee had relationships with uh people that were stuntmen in a positive way and one of them was gene labelle gene labelle's a right famous guy who's a judo champion who taught bruce lee uh a lot of judo moves and um they worked together in several movies and but gene labelle if he had an actual fight with bruce lee the way brad pitt did gene labelle would have killed him i mean gene labelle was a real a gigantic man a gorilla of a man right was a really strong guy who was also a judo champion i mean his grappling's no it seemed like he had a like a gripe it or he just wanted to make bruce lee look like a builder yeah that's the problem it's like this there's just so so there's's Bruce Lee getting his ass kicked by this guy who's just a random tough guy.

And they get in this – I mean that's what – they don't tell you that – He was so tough he killed his strong wife on his boat. What's that? Remember he maybe killed his wife? Who maybe killed their wife? The Brad Pitt guy that beats up Bruce Lee. Did he really? In the movie they that he killed her.

Where was it from? I'm not trying to remember that now. That's why they didn't like him on the set. Remember that Australian lady? God damn it, I forgot that plot point. He was on the boat and his wife's bitching him out

and he's just holding a spear gun and then it never resolves. But it was always rumored that he killed his wife, but nobody ever knew for sure. That was like the... So when he fought Bruce Lee. He's like the Carole Baskin. Yeah, he was the Carole Baskin, but with sharks.

This is from your mom's house, by the way, people with the shirt. Don't blame me. I don't know. I mean, she seemed like she did it, but I don't, I wouldn't want to weigh into that. Yeah, I don't know if she did it but I don't I wouldn't want to weigh into that I want to steer clear of tiger people and all their problems good point who doesn't man don't buy a Porsche get a tiger if you want to get laid get a

fucking tiger yeah Jesus Christ they all start like a little sex cult around themselves yeah like why is that do you think do you think because they're dealing with... Because tigers, their feeling... I mean, I like shooting guns.

That's like a feel, it's fun. Like, walking a tiger must feel like whatever that is, like, times a million. Yeah. That'd be like if you just hung out with a fucking shoebill that followed your commands. Yeah, could you imagine... You'd get an ego quick.

If you were dealing with giant cats all day, how freaked out you'd be? Well, they're getting off on that this cat's not killing them when it easily could. They're all getting off on that. It's like exciting to people.

And plus, a lot of people just love animals, so you get to mix really primal feelings together. Yeah. And then that's why the lady got her arm bit off but she's like don't blame the tigers and she shouldn't it's her goddamn fault then she went back to work there yeah once they have a taste you know they're like it's he now

that was a big part of the movie there was a problem after the accident no uh she's transgender she's a he now oh really yeah that was a big part of the controversy that they had misgendered her they misgendered her in the television oh my god i thought i had done it no no she you but you did because you said she we can blame the fucked up you can blame the doc hey i'm as mad about this documentary as everyone else that was the information i had to work with bro that's a dark moment when a tiger takes your fucking hand. When you see it. But, okay, you know when they talk about, like,

if a bear gets a taste for human, it's bad. Like, if a tiger got taste for specifically my arm, like, I don't want to work with that tiger. Oh, my God. You know? There's moments in that show, one of them where the tiger's dragging him away by his foot.

Remember that? Oh, yeah. And he shoots the gun. It's like, you son of a fucking bitch. You fucking bitch. Remember? Like, the tiger lets go, but he's like literally holding on to his foot and dragging him away. Wow.

Yeah. I didn't see that part. I'm thinking of- Oh, my God, dude. In Tiger King? I missed that one. I haven't seen all of them. I've seen most of it. The thing grabbed his feet and was

pulling him away. But why? And he... They don't know. Because it's being a tiger? No, I mean... I'm sorry. What was the situation? He was inside the cage with the tigers and everything was cool. But then one of them grabs him by the foot. It's checking out his feet. Won't leave him alone. And then grabs him

by the foot and drags him away Do you mean the way he was? Kind of this cat Wow So he's he's hitting at it with a stick and then he pulls pulls out a gun and when he pulls out his gun He shoots near it and it lets go What's allowed noise yeah, it's the loud noise so it lets go. But he starts screaming at him, fucking bitch. So he thinks that in the show

he said he thinks that someone put something on his shoes. Oh. Sardine oil. Yeah, well that was what the lady had said. Like to get a cat

to eat Carol Baskin. By the way, I don't know if she did. This is just your mom's house. They told me to wear it. They forced me. Do they have a little in our opinion,

we put that on there. I know, right? But they, anyway, he almost had to shoot the cat. He was pulling him away by his feet for some reason. Just decided to pull his shoes off. Maybe he has some nice Jordans or something.

What size do you wear? You know, I Not just wear it like some cowboy boots, right? You know, I think it probably feels like if it smelled, like I would just imagine leather to a cat. Unless it's like really tanned. Smells like delicious beef jerky. Or it smells like some kind of meat product. Yeah. Wouldn't it? I mean, it's probably fun to bite.

I mean, dogs bite chews. But are they just biting it because it's soft and it feels good or do they know it's leather they know it's i don't think they know it's leather that'd be crazy if they knew oh i know where this came from but i mean they know it's some sort of an animal product maybe i don't know i don't know a lot of stuff. Like for a dog, like if you just had raw leather laying around, a dog would be like, why can't I just eat this? I think this is food. They'd walk up to him like.

I had two dogs. I don't remember them being any particular way at leather. No, but like shoes are things you wear so your smell's on them. But you just have leather laying around. Yeah, that, like something you're sent out, yeah. but don't people give their dogs leather chew toys right i never did so i don't know no never no i think rawhide is leather rawhide chew toys yeah rawhide sure i thought they were edible yeah they are edible it's edible leather yeah the leather is edible leather leather is edible what Leather is edible.

What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just really, really tough. Like a jacket. If you were starving, you could eat your jacket. People in the Depression actually boiled their shoes and ate their shoes. That was a real thing. Shoe soup.

People ate shoes. That's how much people were starving to death. That was a real thing. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Yeah, eating shoe leather was like what people would talk about, like the lowest point of people being desperate for food. Jesus Christ.

I know. Jesus Christ. Right. Oh my God. That's, that's real depression. We would have been thankful for bat soup back in that day. You know what Swartzen said to me? What?

He said to us, I'm in a text group, a group text with him. He said a friend of his is a sheriff and they said they used to deal with maybe one uh suicide a week and now they're dealing with as many as five a day where um i probably shouldn't say in the hollywood area no you probably shouldn't yeah well i mean this is a very uh it's crazy that but that number like a podcast or something? People that are used to doing a... Like not doing stand-up feels very...

Very weird. I'm disoriented of like what day it is. Because I didn't realize how much I was like timing my life out from like when I had spots. Right. And depended upon it. Artistically too, right? Yeah, absolutely. People have... They've hit this weird breaking

point um it's we're like six weeks in right and people are really antsy for things to open back up again so there's like an additional tension that seems to be in the air maybe it's time for celebrities to sing us to sleep with them imagine there's no heaven. Don't stand so close to me. By the police. Don't stand... Yeah. That's a creepy song. Right?

Isn't that a song about... I guess pre-COVID-19 it's creepy. But Don't Stand So Close To Me, isn't it about like a teacher and a young girl? Is that what it's about? The subject of schoolgirl fantasies. Well, if he was saying come closer schoolgirl, that would be worse. She's hitting on him. so close to me isn't it about like a teacher and a young girl is that what it's about the subject of school well if he was saying come closer school girl that would be worse hitting on him he's the

teacher and she's hitting on him here we go young teacher the subject of school girl fantasy she wants him so badly knows what she wants to be inside her there's no room hmm this girl's an open page bookmarking so she's so close now this's half his age. Don't stand so close to me. Oh, because they're fucking. Yeah. Well, her friends are so jealous. You know how bad girls get. Sometimes it's not so easy to be the teacher's pet. Temptation, frustration so bad it makes him cry. Wet bus stop. She's waiting. His car is is warm and dry don't stand so close to me loose talk in the classroom holy fuck his fucking voice holy fuck he starts to shake he starts to cough covet 19 too hurt they try and try strong words in the staff room the accusations fly it's no use he sees her he starts to shake he starts to cough just like the old man in that famous book by nabokov don't stand don't stand so keep going what else this is that's the whole song okay that song

is a pedophile song that's a song about a guy getting tricked into fucking a 14 year old. Okay, well don't sing that one. Would you say a guy getting tricked into fucking a 14 year old? That is a song about a guy who's getting lured in by a young Lolita. I mean, that's what it's leading up. That's how he's singing it. She wants him so badly, you know, and then it's not so easy to be the teacher's pet. All right, they're out together. They're in the car together. It's raining out.

His car is warm and dry. He's a criminal. Dude, until you told me that, I've never in, I don't know how long I've heard that song, like 30 years or however long it was around, thought that was what, I've listened to it so many times, like not that I even sought it out, but just over and over again and never gave it a minute. That's what it was. That's why it doesn't matter about lyrics like because no it's

Do that shit go on when I was in high school a Spanish teacher? I went on in my school I knew someone that happened to the song was penned by sting who just happened to have a former career as a teacher before the Rock stardom came calling do I told a story about it on? People used to fuck their students back then. This girl that I knew was 17 and the guy was a... James Franco. Young man.

He's a handsome young man. He's one of my favorite teachers. Anyway, they fucked. I don't know what the rules were back then, but I'm pretty sure... When I was in high school, everybody was... Like a bunch of girls I knew were dating some guy that was like could probably have

gone to jail yeah but a few people I told a story on Ari's show I knew somebody who like he was in high school

and hooked up with his geometry teacher and they ended up being married when I was in high school I dated a girl she was a very nice girl but she was also naughty

and this naughty girl fucked an older man who had a boat. And I think it was either her or her and her friend fucked the guy. Anyway, she was a naughty girl. Older man who has a boat. She's adventurous. And one of the things she said, it was like he gave her a hard time about it. And she's like, motherfucker, I'll turn you into the police oh someone you know what we were doing a prom show years ago you know like i don't know if they do that here but in new york the clubs

at prom season a bunch of like long island high schools go to comedy shows after their prom yes i i did that at danger fields yeah right danger fields so one of the limo drivers i don't know who asked him like do you ever like because by the way the girls look like kids like like it was crazy how much they look like kids to me these high school kids right there'd be a couple you're like oh that looks like an older kid but they are like kids but somebody asked the driver one time a driver a girl i don't remember if she was 16 he said, but she came on to him and they fucked. And she goes, how much you make tonight?

And the guy was like, I don't know, like 500 bucks. And she goes, I think you made 200 and took $300 off this thing. Oh, my God. Yeah, like that's a really advanced fucking thing to do. She stole 300 bucks and fucked him. It's an interesting call because she like turned herself into a prostitute i just like don't know why you would make that although i remember uh remember to catch a predator when they you know like half those people seem like they would go to anybody who had written back to them i got a theory about that too about why guys are into like high school

kids why i think there's some guys out there that hit a point in their life like maybe like right after they graduate where their life got really fucked up and it didn't go i've heard the sting song it got really fucked up and it didn't go anywhere and they wanted to like relive their childhood like yeah right went back to high school like maybe they have a lot of regrets they got they got clowned a lot. If I knew then what I knew now. They got beat up. You know, but it is that kind of thing where it's like you want to go back and be the hero. There's a thing that makes you stuck in a certain.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, there's a thing with women too. That's why a lot of women wind up fucking high school boys, right? Women that are teachers. Like how many times you heard that story? How many times you heard that story? I heard it growing up.

It's constant. Yeah, I know somebody did it. the funny thing is they barely get arrested like most of the time they don't do any time i saw one recently i think it's a lot of places she was fucking a 16 year old boy and uh they just said don't do it anymore and they gave her like one year probation where was this i forget they gave her a court order knock it off it It was probably like Kansas or something like that. They're like, stop it. Just stop fucking that guy. Listen, people, what you call farm strong out there.

But if it was a guy that was fucking a 15 or 16-year-old girl. We're just happy it's not a cousin. Go. They're just happy it's not a guy. If a guy was doing it, they would want that guy locked up in a cage for sure. It's interesting. I mean, I agree with it. It makes sense. But still, I agree with it. It makes sense. But it's still, it's kind of crazy.

Yeah, I don't, man, I guess. Dude, so many teachers blow their students. I mean, it's just, the only ones you hear about are the ones where these pussies can't keep their mouth shut. Well, I know somebody. They have to go to their mom and go to the teachers and go to the cops you know what it depends if you're a fucking kid or not like i'll tell you flat out if if i was

like 16 when i was in high school like 16 i was as kid of a 16 year old as you can be because we were religious so okay i had no i really would i mean so do you think that those are the guys that they try to fuck or do you think think they go after the young football player guys? I think it's all kinds of different. Like if you're a crazy girl who wants to relive childhood, relive high school, so you go and get a job teaching high school boys. I think somebody just strikes your fancy, and they probably never thought it would be like that.

I think it's like some pure, you know. Maybe they think like when I was in high school that boy wouldn't give me the time of day if I was in high school with him but now I can fuck him because I'm 32 and I'm the teacher do you think is that thought through 100% it's all planned out there's journals climatics and jerk oh is there a map of how they wanted to go down and all the friends are connected and one of those little circles with all the lines that come out with different names. Who was the one that they made that movie about with Nicole Kidman?

I mean, there's a real story of someone where the teacher got the kid to kill her husband. Oh, right. That was, what was that, New Hampshire? Where was that? Yeah. Then there's a documentary about her where like me, it's so fucking crazy story. Was that, was that Pam smart? Yes.

Pam was smart. Yeah. I remember that, man. Cause everybody had jokes about that when I was in 88, when I was, uh, just starting to do standup. It was right around then that it happened when I was an open mic-er. So everybody had like Pam Smart jokes. To die for.

Yeah, there you go. What did the real Pam Smart look like? Not that good. Well, keep in mind that's imprisoned for a while. Well, it's just not fair. That's there. Yeah, she's pretty cute with some fucked up Revere hair. Look at her hair.

Go back to that picture again. What year is that? What year of hair was that? Because I remember that when like six... That's in the 80s for sure. Peg Bundy. Girls in hair like that. Everybody had Peg Bundy hair.

Yep. In the 80s. Yeah. To die for was 95. Yeah, you're not... It's hard to fuck with a 1995 Nicole Kidman. Right? That's what year it was?

Yeah. Here's another version of it too with Helen Hunt. I'm not as good. Oh, yeah. It's fine. It's more accurate. But I think like- Well, Nicole Kidman was supposed to be just a character based on her.

But it's funny, right? Because if you're doing an actual real life story, if you had a teacher that looked like Nicole Kidman, it would change the narrative. There's a weirdness. No, it 100% does. Yeah, because there's a weirdness if it's a big fat lady. If it's a big fat lady, it's fucking kids. The guy that I knew, the teacher was hot. And everybody was like, that kid's fucking pretty cool.

Yeah, exactly. What were you saying? It was loosely based on that movie. Loosely based. Inspired. Yeah. So here's the problem with that. If like Salma Hayek, like hot Salma Hayek from Dust to Darkness, right?

That one, Inner Prime. Remember when there was another foot thing with Tarantino? Oh, yeah. He takes a shot off her feet. Yeah, takes a shot off her feet. No, when you hear it and then you look back, you're like, wait a minute, there's a 20 minute foot scene in every fucking Kill Bill. She's like, now wiggle your toes.

It's like camera hangs on toes for a while until they move. If that Salma Hayek. Until I come. She was so hot. If that Salma Hayek wanted to fuck a 16 year old boy, what kind of a chance does he have of saying no? He's got zero chance of saying no. I mean, there's probably mythological creatures based on that look at her look how hot she was yeah right fuck out of here man she was so smoking hot and still is she's still hot as fuck yeah even without a foot fetish that foot thing is like oh i would

do that yes exactly exactly she's beautiful now imagine if she is the teacher and some 15 year old, 16 year old boy, if the teacher, let's not say it's her, let's say it looks like it could be like her cousin or something like that, but really hot, just as hot as her. Let's not say it's her. Let's not be disrespectful. If someone on an equal scale of hotness to Salma Hayek fucks your 16 year old boy boy. What chance does he have of saying no to that? How about zero? Well, some might consider that beyond consent. I think that's the entire idea of it being a kid. The thing about it, yeah, but the thing about it is, if he was 18, you'd be psyched for him. Just two more years. If he just lived 24 months and he was cooked better.

Somebody said it to me. Maybe Annie said it to me. If it is just a year, why can't you wait a year or something? I think it's arbitrary. Grown women that want to fuck 17-year-olds don't have a year to wait. Those bitches are all crazy.

They don't have any time. They don't have no time to wait. Those bitches are all crazy. They don't. That's right. They don't have any time. That's right. They don't have no time to wait. Oh my goodness. They have credit card debt. There's fucking ex-boyfriends trying to chase them down. I was going to say,

how will a high school student help you with credit card debt? You know, some of those women are married. Some of those women are married to guys. I think a lot of the people are married.

And they wind up fucking their students. I was never around that. I never experienced that as a kid where a teacher, a female hot teacher fucked any of my friends. Yeah, no, I never had that. It's all dependent upon- There was a gym teacher in somebody in my school, I remember. Oh, a female gym teacher?

No, it was a male gym teacher and somebody else. That makes sense. I think he just got fired. Wait, just now. You know, I could be wrong, but I think the guy that the school had a weight room he would go to after school. And the guy, I remember hearing some shit like that about the guy that ran the weight room. He's one of the gym teachers. I remember he was always very grabby.

I didn't think it was just, it was very Joe Biden-y. Like shoulder rubs and, you know. I got hairy legs. He just wanted to press your leg hair down. You'd press his leg hair down. No big deal. Just press his leg hair down. Everybody likes kids playing with their leg hair.

It's fun. Yeah. Totally normal to talk about, too, if you're running for president. Dude, that fucking, is that from the corn pop thing what the corn pop speech i think it is yeah the thing about i got hairy legs yeah yeah yeah yeah and something about going by the pool yeah no he's rubbing his he was a lifeguard and he fucking stared down the local gang leader corn pop is that what the story is yeah and he had a chain and then they were good instead of fighting

They'd be good. They became friends huh, and he was like. I'm sorry. I called you Esther Williams You're front with razor wielding gangster named yeah, they used to rush their razors in a rain barrel. That's a real story It's just I only heard the the legs in the pool part I think I didn't know about this other guy because now I might need to hear this. Are we allowed to play this? Is this news? How does this work? Yeah.

Okay, let's hear the audio. Let's hear what it says. And I was one of the guards. And there was a three-meter board. And you fell off sideways, you landed on the darn cement over there. And Corn Pop was a bad dude. Whoa, is there a laugh track over there. And Corn Pop was a bad dude. Whoa, is there a laugh track on this motherfucker? Corn Pop is a bad dude.

And he ran a bunch of bad boys. And I did. And back in those days, to show how things have changed, one of the things you had to use, if you used pomade in your hair, you had to wear a bathing cap. And so he was up on the board, wouldn't listen to me. I said, hey, Esther, you, off the board,'t listen to me i said hey esther you off the board i'll come up and drag you off well he came off and he said i'll meet you outside my car this was mostly these

were all public housing behind it my car there was a gate out here i parked my car outside the gate and i he said i'll be waiting for you He was waiting for three guys in straight razors. Not a joke. There was a guy named Bill Wright, Mouse, the only white guy, and he did all the pulls. He was the mechanic. And I said, what am I going to do? He said, come down here in the basement where mechanics, where all the pull filter is. You know, the chain, there used to be a chain that went across the deep end. And he cut off a six-foot length of chain. He folded up. He said, you walk out with that chain. There used to be a chain that went across the deep end. And he cut off a six-foot length of chain. He folded up. He said, you walk out with that chain. And you walked in the car

and said, you may cut me, man, but I'm going to wrap this chain around your head. I said, you're kidding me. He said, no, if you don't, don't come back. And he was right. So I walked out with the chain. and I walked up to my car, and in those days, you used to remember the straight race. You'd bang them on the curb, get them rusty, put them in a rain barrel, get them rusty. And I looked at them, but I was smart then. I said, first of all, I said, when I tell you to get off the board,

you get off the board, and I'll kick you out again, but I shouldn't have called you, Esther Williams. I apologize for that. Pause this for a second. Do you know who Esther Williams is? Oh, we're almost done. We're almost done. Go ahead. Keep it going for a second.

It's only a few more seconds to go. It's going to work. He said, you apologize to me? I said, I apologize for that. Not for throwing you out, but I apologize for what I said. He said, okay, close the straight razor. My heart began to beat again. That.

How polite were those children being, by the way, during that fucking... That was one of the things I was going to say when I paused it. Like, no one's paying attention to him. All those kids are talking. They all went to a happy place.

They're all just talking. This guy's running for president and they're behind him and he's on stage. Was this a president stump thing? I thought it was something else. I don't know what it is, but he's running for president while this is going on, for sure. Oh, he was. Look, there's that thing, the city of, where is it?

Because it says it on that little city symbol that's on the front of the podium. Delaware. So who set this up where you have a bunch of kids on stage behind him not paying attention while he gives this long winded story about razor blades and chains and

basically they apologize to each other and then it's crazy that he's a presumptive it's crazy to run him it's absolutely fucking crazy it's weird man it's weird you know you know what's interesting some i it was interesting talking to owen smith yesterday because i love owen he's a really brilliant oh yeah i like brilliant comedian like one of the best guys i

know yeah and we were talking about and he said i like the biden makes me like makes me feel like things would be normal again like i think he's saying the people that will go for Biden, and that's not a small amount of people. Yeah, there's like, so Obama rubbed off on him, but Biden was never a guy who was going to get elected before that. He's certainly not now. It's just trying to get that feeling back, and it's not coming back.

They got to fucking. But you've never seen a greater example of team loyalty than this. This one right here. That's what this is. 100%. Because no one on the left wants to talk about these crazy long winded speeches and things that don't make any sense. The lefties, I learned about it watching, I think, Jimmy Dore.

People on the left, this is why they lost. I mean, I say that they lost when fucking Nanette came out. But people on the left didn't want him. And they weren't on board Bernie. Like Bernie saying, hey, go along with Biden. People were following Bernie because of what they thought his policies would be, not necessarily like a cult of personality. So they don't give a shit if Bernie says vote for Biden.

They were voting for way more lefty shit and not the normal feeling. In fact, they hate those. The real lefties can't stand like an Owen Smith Democrat above all else. They wanted it changed. The real lefties want everything changed. Yeah, Trump, the Republicans had to have their thing where Trump just trashed, he trounced them when he came in, right? Yeah.

And they had their, like, well, they're like his bitch now. And so they had that fight. There's no one, Joe, Bernie was never going to do that with the Democrats. But isn't it crazy that it's all about likability and electability? Like, that's really what it's all about. If people like you, they'll give you a chance. Dude, a simple, clear message. See, the Biden thing, you're right.

People just want to feel normal again. That was Owen's take. That was how he felt, him personally. Yeah, if they could make that into a slogan, I just want to feel normal again, that would be like a MAGA for them. But somebody's got to come up with that. Well, dude, you've got to look back in time and you look at history, all the mistakes that were made throughout history. That's what you're reading about when you're reading about lost wars and invasions that went terrible.

You're hearing about trials and errors and mistakes well that's when you see people's fucking uh principles how yeah because i mean it wasn't especially with biden the thing of uh all the people that were crowing about believe her and all that shit right that are like well you can't believe sometimes people are lying oh are they now now that you're when it came after him yeah that's That's really despicable, man. Well, there's only a few people out there that don't do that that are in the media, that are in this sort of- The media loves this shit more than- I mean, how they hate Trump when it's like 90% their fucking fault.

There's a lot of different things going on, man. Did you see Annihilation? Some of it is like sports. It's like you want your team to win. It's a lot of that huge amount of that but you know that movie annihilation with natalie portman yeah that was the one where they they that was by the same guy who made uh ex machina right yes yeah that was really good remember the end and natalie portman and there's like Don't spoiler alert it for everybody. This is quarantine. People can see that movie now. All right.

Well, when you see it, they've had enough time to watch it. I'm just kidding. There's a thing of her that's rainbow colored that's like a duplicate of her. Right, right, right. And she's trying to run. It's pressing her against the door. She's fighting it. And then she stops for a minute and

then she gives it a grenade and pulls it and walk and gets away by being called the more she would fight it it would give equal reaction back at her that's what these people it's like trump's your fucking reflection and you you hate it and the more they fight it the more it presses them back up against the door and and and that's that's there's no they're never going to figure out how to just like give him the grenade and pull the pin and walk away because they can't like There's he definitely makes mistakes, but they are also so wrapped up in everything that he does in A way that they distort even things that probably turned out to be a good idea. He plans for that

He does that every the people that just could get ruined by one minor thing you're like i'll do a thing every fucking day and what are you gonna do and people like these go like a bunch of people just don't follow him or they like it's genius dude if you hate his guts you can't say it wasn't very smart so wound up this is look anytime you get too emotional about things, your view of things get distorted. It's one of the things that happens in fights all the time. You see, fighters talk shit to each other, right? And one of the reasons why they talk shit to each other is because they're trying to get the other person emotionally invested in the fight.

Right. They're trying to get them angry and pissed off, or they're going to do something irrational, they're not going to be logical. Right. But that's what you're seeing. You're seeing that with him. Instead of them analyzing it, it's like everything is a personal affront and he's like a demon that must be slain. That's people that vote for a feeling like that Obama feeling.

That's why it's such an offense. It's not about anything Obama did or didn't do. It's the feeling that people got. It's been offended. Right did or didn't do. It's the feeling that people got. It's been offended. Right. And they want that back. Always said about him, like, forget about his policies. Like, he was a great statesman.

The way he would talk. Yes, that's the thing. Yes. He was reserved and he was articulate and smooth. And when you would hear him talk, you'd be like, that's an excellent representation of the United States. Yeah, right. That's one of our top dudes. sense yeah right yeah and and like even keeled didn't get angry i expect certain bourgeois norms yeah right whereas like the thing with trump is that he's you know like he said he's not really a politician so he's just being the guy he's always

been and everybody's like i thought you were going to be a president though i thought you're going to act like we need because you want to be called potus i thought people got him for specifically the opposite of that it's like and that shit's done now so people still want that the west wing or whatever the fuck like that's what it is it's like your west wing kind of people if If you want reform, real reform, you should be kind of happy that he exposed it. What I think it exposes is how not rigged it is. Because if someone controlled it, no fucking way. Do you know what I mean? They only control some of it.

Yeah, based on the fucking of Bernie and him getting in. Not that Bernie was going to win. The fucking of Bernie, though, it's crazy. It's like you're watching in real time. Bernie's not fit to be president listen if you get bulldozed like that you're not you're right I think he's a genuinely good man which is why he's unfit to be the president you can't this is not a job for that well this is one of the reasons why they're so scared of Tulsi Gabbard it's because she doesn't lay down like that you see. Once she had that moment with Kamala Harris in the debates. Oh, yeah.

That was great, by the way. It was fucking amazing. Instead of saying, wow, this lady is dynamic, they're like, oh, shit, we can't really control her. Right. She's going to attack our top lady. Yeah, that's a panicky thing. She's going after people.

She's saying things that, you know, you really, if you want your team to win, you're not going to give up those cards so early um but well they haven't there's an internal thing you got to settle with all the people that are like actual left that are like mad and they want their trump yeah and so they're not going to go along with the same because because i think a lot of like just liberals don't get that the lefties hate you more than they hate a nazi they hate you more than any right winger just a regular liberal that's who they want to get them that's why they turn on ellen or whoever the fuck yeah because they're waiting to have a reason to turn on you right there's no one's going to pass the purity test no one they're just looking for

something and i i think that again it goes back to the thing like that's not nice like if all you're you're constantly now's not the time to be nice Joe now's the time for rage yeah oh there was someone that uh someone wrote something about oh that guy from CNN what's his name Brian Stelter Stelter the who looks like Divine out of drag. That's that guy. He wrote something about angry journalism. Right. I forget what he wrote, but it was widely criticized.

Why? Well, because it was like, basically, he's admitting that this is, you're not doing journalism. This is like editorial. It's an editorial take. Yeah, that's a direct, very, yeah. Yeah. It's like you're- That's that guy Jeff Zucker's idea. You're not doing journalism. This is like editorial. It's an editorial take. Yeah, that's a direct, very, yeah. Yeah, it's like you're- That's that guy Jeff Zucker's idea. You're calling for activism more than you're calling for reporting the news.

It's just marketing. And you believe that you're correct, so you're going to push your idea. I mean, this is what, when we go to the news, what we really want is someone who's going to tell us exactly what happened without any political bend to it. That's what we really want. And we expect- But that doesn't exist. By the way, I still, even saying that, I still expect I'm probably going to see a little

bit of it. Right. People figure in there's probably going to be that. And when I was a kid, it was like that, but not near to now where it's become like a catty gossip mixed with news. Yeah, now it's fucking bonkers. Because it's all too it's all because women shared more online that's why they're targeting the emotions of women that that's

specifically this is by design this is the same thing we're talking about with the elon musk thing like how could you say that he didn't do that when he can he can show you all these tweets like how can you well how can you accuse someone just out to get him dude i mean they have a thing though right like how is that where are we in the news it's like if you some rapper talking about how Like, how can you accuse someone? It's just out to get him, dude. I mean, they have a thing for him. The same thing, though, right? Like, how is that, where are we in the news world now? It's like if some rapper talking about how the cops won't leave him alone. Like, he's like a guy, like, the cops are always going to bother him. You know, like, he just got on the bad side of it.

It's an institution. And all these institutions, if you talk about it, they hate you. Like, they have it in for you. It's crazy. Think of, like, a cop that's corrupt going, well, the thin blue line and block me but you're a fucking dirty like yeah But we that's how they are with Elon Musk. So they are with a bunch of people. That's so crazy It's not like so much about justice. Let's say as it is about processing in the system and shit That's what they're that's their job. Okay, and that's what they that's what they fucking did you find his quote a That's their job, okay?

And that's what they fucking... Did you find his quote? A bunch of people had made a meme out of it and were passing it around. It was him calling... I forget the expression that he used, but I really wish I could remember because I looked at someone's tweet about it or Instagram about it,

and they were saying, finally, you're admitting what you really do. Finally, you're admitting that your rage journalistic instincts are showing oh yeah right it's rage journalism you know it's been open for they've been opening like that for a while i feel like we need somewhere that's going to give us the information just clear 100 dedicated to factual information without any political bend at all. No one's doing that. Somebody would be like, it's not possible, so it might as well

be my politics. It's got to be possible. It used to be possible. It's got to be possible to just read the news. Because if you look at every... Whoever does that will start getting views and... You know what I mean? Somebody who fills that niche, it will be successful.

Because there's going to be people who should be able to report on maybe dumb shit that Trump tweets and also report on the really important things that are happening that are good for the economy. They should just stop reporting on Trump's tweets. Just try it. Just fucking try it for a minute. You're playing right into his hand, first off. It's like annihilation. Look what he said.

And then while they do that, he gets like a judge in or something. He does that all the time. Yeah. It's very savvy, dude. Always very savvy in a lot of ways. It's like the fake, not sophisticated language that he uses. It's almost like he uses that to kind of throw you off the trail. Unlike Don King with the crazy hair, he's got his own crazy hair.

It's almost like in some ways it throws you off the trail. There's something about crazy hair that really... It throws you off the trail. There's no newspaper or no thing that I subscribe to where I don't get at least some political bias one way or the other. You know what? Just clearly mark the stuff that's editorial or like, you know, this is not news. Just mark it as that.

There has to be. And have news. And then the news, you save one for the part that it goes. Yeah. Everybody just do their job. You don't have to fucking do the Daily Show. I blame a lot of this on the daily show not because it was bad a whole bunch of people that became news for them right and so

then all like all the other ones like why don't we have a like daily show but more news than comedy that's so true people it's terrible it's terrible it's such a good point that i never even considered yeah i mean i didn't make it up. Somebody must have said it. I'm sure someone said it, but it's a great point. It's right. That's news for a lot of kids. Like college kids, they're barely paying attention. They're flipping through Comedy Central and Jon Stewart's there telling them what's going on in a hilarious way, in a hilarious way.

Dude, Trevor Noah won. Like, that's a different generation because I would just be like, why is it? By the way, I know him. I met him before like i like him but i'm just i'm like why you have some guy that show is not an american why like what is with a guy with a foreign accent here it's beautiful all these all these shows that are like the america it's always someone not from here that's interesting like john oliver same thing and i even like him I like him a lot he's hilarious they seem to have a fucking what do you call it like a I don't have that

kind of feeling of like I always have a level of that like who the fuck are you right like I can't imagine going to England doing a political show about their politics that's true I can't even fathom that that is kind of funny

so that's just like a thing that you could probably do it like if you went to Ireland Holland yeah he had a show in Holland that wasn't even the Tom Rhodes show he had to play a character the character was a talk show host yeah well like he couldn't just be a talk show host no no no so instead of Tom Rhodes he'd be like I'm Pete McGillicuddy like you had to be but then it's a talk show it was like the Pete McGillicuddy show starring Tom Rhodes or something like that not Pete McGillicuddy what was the name of it Kevin Masters that's right Kevin Masters show starring it wasn't like a sitcom though right no but it was like a talk show host, or a talk show, rather, where he would play a guy

that was different than him. Named Kevin Masters. I mean, did that what they did, or did they just call it the Kevin Masters show and he would say, I'm Tom Rhodes? I don't know. Oh, is it like a joke of like- I don't know. It's a joke you could only pull off in Hollywood.

When everybody's high on mushrooms and tired from going to the whorehouses. Yeah, you're pretty much right. Is that what it is? Kevin Masters was a generic American name the producers used to fill in until they find an actual host. Holland's a fascinating place, man. It's a fascinating place because it was one of the first places where people go to get high.

I haven't either. But it's also the place that produced some of the best kickboxers ever. Why did I? I kind of knew that for some reason. A shitload of them came out of Holland, man. Holland is like the motherland for badass kickboxers. Like when you hear about a kickboxer, you hear about him from Holland, it's like hearing about a jujitsu black belt who's from Brazil.

You're like, whoa. Like Holland has- Yeah, why is that? Dude, they're animals, man. Doesn't Belgium have a lot of like Van Damme-y kind of people too? I'm sure they do. I don't know anything about Belgium, but I do know a lot about Holland. A guy in a horizontal striped shirt.

Right. They can do flips. With black and white checkered vans on. Yeah, Holland has also really large people. I think the average height for a man is six feet tall. Is that right? Yeah, women are really big there, too. They have a bunch of great heavyweight kickboxing champions, like Peter Aerts.

He came out of Holland. There's so many of them. Ernesto Hoost. Ernesto Hoost is one of the most brilliant and beautiful technicians of all time. He came out of Holland. brilliant and beautiful technicians of all time he came out of holland yeah is kickboxing that of like that in jujitsu is at the two in in mma is that like the things like you everybody basically you just have to know yeah you have to know wrestling too yeah yeah but wrestlers have to know submissions as well and everybody has to know stand up because you're standing up yeah you gotta

but it's depends there's a few guys. You sure like stand-up comedy? No, no. Stand-up like – Everyone has to do stand-up. It's funny. There's two different types of stand-up. When you say stand-up, you mean striking. It's like I got my judo and I got a spot at the store.

That's hilarious. I didn't even think about it that way. In my mind, I have two different types of stand-up that I don't even – I just say it. You got to work on your stand-up. People do say it. You got to work on your stand-up. Like, people do say that. Like, you got to work on your stand-up. Isn't that funny?

Holy shit. It's striking. You got to work on your striking. Oh, striking, that's right. Yeah, that's what it means. But it basically means stuff that you do on your feet. Like, he's been working a lot on his stand-up. Do you remember, you ever seen, like, I remember seeing it on, like, a Star Trek episode or

any kind of sci-fi where they're trying to, the martial arts of the future. Like this martial art is the culmination of all. And they did it on Star Trek. Like this was their future martial arts. It's nothing like MMA. I don't remember that at all. It's like ridiculous. It was like a ridiculous high kicking like.

Well, that's where Bruce Lee was brilliant. Yeah, right. Bruce Lee kind of figured it out bruce lee in uh a lot of his movies sort of depicted mixed martial arts fights do you think in real life that bruce lee could beat brad pitt in real life though i don't think he would have fought anybody man not like that that's that was if you get back to that story about quentin tarantino's depiction of him i don't think he would have done that. I don't think he would have behaved like that. He wasn't a buffoon.

He was a tough guy. I'm sure he was very confident. But when you read the things that he wrote and when you see the interviews that he gave where he talks about things, he was a very deep thinker. He wasn't a buffoon. He would talk about things in a very profound way. I didn't like how they portrayed Charles talk about things in a very profound way. So just the way-

I didn't like how they portrayed Charles Manson either in that movie. Dude, you got to read this. You got to read this book. You can't even get it right now. It's Tom O'Neill's Chaos, Charles Manson, the CIA, and the Secret History of the 60s. If you just- I listened to the audio version of it. He gave me this.

But the fucking podcast I did with him blew my mind. Oh, really? Yeah. Dude, it was all. These things are crazy. But this one, this one's even more crazy because it's all about these psychiatrists that were experimenting on hippies with acid. Isn't that why the Unabomber fucking.

Yes. Because they did a hippie experiment on him when he was like a teenager. He was part of the Harvard LSD studies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's fucking crazy, dude. Dude, they did it to a lot of people. That's what this book ultimately turned out to be about.

Tom O'Neill wrote this over 20 years. It took 20 years for him to put all this together. He started as a small story. I think it was like a 5,000-word story for Vanity Fair. Or no, Premiere. Premiere magazine. And that magazine eventually went under and then he got a book deal and he missed a deadline

because he kept diving deeper and deeper into MKUltra and CIA. Yeah dude. Oh it's crazy. This book is a mind blower because it's all factual. He's got 60 pages of references and citations at the back of it. I will totally listen to this book

since I can't get it. Yeah. They sold out. They didn't prepare. Have you ever read the manifesto, the Unabomber manifesto? No, I didn't. I didn't.

It's crazy how almost reasonable it sounds. Like technology is going to be a problem. It's very weird to just like, I don't see the connection of where you blew these people up. You have a point you all agree with, but it almost, almost they're so rational it sounds like he came from the future and he had to make those bombs i bet that's what he thought i mean it that it it reads like that it's wild dude there's a guy named jolly west that's a part of these mk ultra experiments and

he's connected to the manson family and all these other different people. But why the Manson family? Because Charles Manson was a guy that for sure they gave him acid in prison. At least the way they're describing the possibility. He was even talking about certain doctors, and he has the last name, the doctor's the last name of the doctor who's a part of this program, and doctors that treated him while he was in prison. And he comes out of prison, and there's evidence that he gets released over and over and over again every time he violates parole someone on high wants him out on the streets and he's got a large supply of acid and he's got very sophisticated techniques that he's

utilizing that he learned in jail sophisticated techniques of how to how to brainwash hippies on acid get him to fuck each other by the way if you use orgies you're just a, a very manipulative criminal criminal, it's not, you can figure out how to manipulate it. You certainly can't be draining for that, but we're talking about within two years,

he's got a murder in people. I think the pimp lessons he learned helped him do that. You know, it's the, they are the disassociation with reality through LSD, through, through constant trips, daily trips. I think it's useful to-

For brainwashing. I'm just saying, I'm sure he did that. I don't know that he did it for the CIA. I could easily see him, for his own reasons, brainwashing people. Let me clarify. When I say he was a part of a CIA experiment, I don't mean he did what he did for the CIA. What I mean is they let him do what he was doing and they encouraged him and helped him. That's very believable.

Gave him drugs. That's like the story of- Yes. That's very believable. If you're letting this guy keep getting released every time he robs a car or someone's house or when you think he's going to somehow or another be locked up and you want him out on the street doing this thing. And they were trying to discredit the hippie movement and the anti-war movement back there.

And that's part of the way they did it. They infiltrated these groups in one way or another. And one of them would be to take a guy like him. No, yeah. Like the old Mary Hill boat lift when they dropped Cuba, emptied their prisons into America. Yeah. Fuck you. Yeah.

That's a. Yeah. Yeah, that's a... Well, that's a pretty well-known thing, the thing about the drugs, like, well, it's just, you know... Yeah, it's a pretty well-known thing. It'll weed out the weak elements of society and we'll get a lot of information. Well, it's also, they didn't exactly know what would happen when you dose people up with acid back then. There was a lot of

experiments. We got a lot of great info from that Nazi guy, and it's not so easy to get those results. I'm sure the Nazis were a part of those we got a lot of great info from that nazi guy and it's not so easy to get those i'm sure the nazis were part of those programs too right i mean when they start doing that that japanese guy who's like worse than fucking mengela uh i can't remember what it's called the it's so crazy the shit this guy did to people and uh he he got up they wanted to know what he learned from his human medical experiments. Oh. So they let him off. Oh, Jesus Christ.

I wish I remember the name of it. It's a Japanese, but it's mostly done to Chinese, you know, prisoners. But like, you know, cold and pressure and all, like, it's fucking grisly, dude. Yeah. And it's just, he did so many amoral, like, experiment. There's knowledge that helps humanity that they got. Same reason we go put that great golden record in space. The people are useful knowledge.

Yeah. Isn't that crazy? So educate yourself if that's like, look, it's more important that you tell us how many pounds of pressure it takes to crush a little kid's head. Yeah, we did not know that officially. Officially. Tell us what you got. Jesus Christ. Just let him go. Imagine being that guy who killed like hundreds of people and they just let you go.

Imagine you like eating ice cream at a diner. Just fucking sitting by yourself. I doubt you have to eat a cup of coffee, eating ice cream. No one even. Just fucking sitting by yourself. I doubt you have to eat either. Drinking a cup of coffee, eating ice cream. No one even knows. And you're like, thank you. I'd like one more, please. Didn't they have that?

Oh, here it is. Shiro Ishii. That's the guy. That's the guy. Jesus Christ. He led in development and application of biological weapons at Unit 731. And how do you say that word? Manchukuo? Where?

Manchukuo? Manchukuo? How do you say that? Manchukuo that word? Manchukuo? Manchukuo? Manchukuo? How do you say that? Manchukuo? The U and the O together? How do you say that? Probably just sneeze it, basically. Manchukuo? Manchukuo. Anyway,

however we say it, during the Second Sino-Japanese War from 1937 to 1945, including the bubonic plague attacks on Chinese cities. Oh, my God. Yeah. And the planned attack against the United States in Operation Cherry Blossoms. Holy fuck, man. Oh, isn't that the one where they would send the balloons across the country?

Yeah, it didn't. Yeah, it didn't work. Or they'd use bats or something. What were they going to do with the Operation Cherry Blossoms at night? Imagine just like, this is my plan. Operation Cherry Blossoms at night. Biowarfare. They're going to drop the blind plague, cholera, smallpox.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. So they were going to do that to America in balloons? Is that what they were going to do? I think the thing I just saw. And to come at us in the, through our most vulnerable way, our love of balloons. 9,300 balloons. Yeah, no one would ever want them.

Who would resist? Isn't that a fucking song? 99 red balloons go by. That was about Shiro Ishii, 99 Luft balloons. That was a big song when I was in high school. Yeah. The girl was cute. Yeah.

Okay, these killed six American civilians near Bly, Oregon. I thought they didn't kill anyone. Crashed into a farm in Medford, Oregon, and caused a short circuit on the power lines, supplying electricity for the nuclear reactor, cooling pumps in the Manhattan Project's production facility. Holy shit, dude. Did you know that? What were they dropping on him? They had balloons with bombs attached to them. But was it supposed to be with plague or something?

Well, I don't know. Jamie said that was part of it. But what I did hear on, there was an episode they did about this on one of my favorite podcasts, which is Radiolab. Radiolab did a whole series series or a whole episode, rather, about these balloons that people would find, these non-detonated balloons. And I think people accidentally blew themselves up a couple of times. Wow. Yeah.

I think people found them and then they found out after the war about the project. But I think a bunch of them made it here. And some of them went off and some of them didn't go off. It says contaminated fleas. They were dropping contaminated fleas. Oh, my God. That's so dark. Jesus Christ.

I'm so glad we're friends with Japan now. That's such a dark move. In China, all the bad guys, I'd watch the local TV. So everything is about a mean Japanese general and a brave Chinese somebody. Really? Yeah. Oh, my God. That's how Nazis and Gloria's Bat.

Nazis are a pop culture. You go to, like we always use as a villain. Japan is that to China. Well, you and i had this conversation about um you don't have to say a person's name but uh someone's saying why isn't it okay to punch nazis like oh yeah that conversation yeah right right i've had that same conversation with people it's totally you and i were both like yeah by all means punch a nazi but i want to just see your nazi detector you're using when you you're Nazi dowsing to find these

Nazis, I'd like, I can't just go off your word. Like, no, I I'll handle it. I read someone calling Ben Shapiro a Nazi. I know there's a guy, I think maybe you were going to have him on, but I like him. He's a guy on YouTube that reviews comic books that he fucking got. It's crazy what they did to him. Oh, I've heard the story. i've heard the story okay story what is it called something comics what is it uh uh it's called uh it's called um i don't know his name's your boy zach i i forget what is his uh comics matters what your boy zach is the name of the channel um and so what happened with him what was the story he made him into like some kind of dude's crazy made him some kind of nazi i mean he's the most reasonable the reviews are so utterly reasonable

okay where and by the way guy gives credit to people when they're he thinks they're good like there's nothing if you actually looked away he said there's nothing there at all but because he mocks like the dumb shit they do in comics now, they made him, they're like, he's a white nationalist. Well, they're doing weird. He has a lawsuit because they did that to him. Injecting social justice warrior credos into comic books now, right? Well, there's a little power, there's a little fiefdom of, like, Portland weirdos that, I

guess, run comics now. I didn't know this. Fiefdom of Portland weirdos is the best description. Oh, besides blame the daily show i blame portlandia for the other half of problems just so you know before you guys fucking unleash cthulhu out of there oh we're gonna have some laughs and fucking dude that's so true they are the that is the liberal epicenter that's mecca like the comedy store is mecca for comics that's mecca like the comedy store is mecca for

comics that's mecca for social justice warriors it's like in a really annoying like i didn't know i did a show comedy show at stonewall one time and uh you know stonewall like the historic like where the gays fought the cops and where is that where is that in new york okay and i thought it was gonna be a good show because you you know this back in the days of uh you know where joan uh rivers was like a gay icon you know like right so i assume it'd be a great crowd it was awful really oh yeah and the guy who was cutting my hair he's like no dude you don't go you know that's not where like cool gays are fucking stonewall that's like some dipshit living out their worst fantasy of being gay like so i didn't realize it was like it's like going to hate Street in San Francisco. Oh Yeah, you're like jerk off not 67 fuckface. Yes

So I think there's a lot of that setting in right they're trying to bring it back Yeah, oh Yeah, anytime. There's a place where hippies. It's like that's a fire. I miss it. It'll burn out hippies Hippies were a lot more fun. Right, but they burn out. It's like there's no fuel there. It eventually goes away. The kind of newish thing to me

is the Twitter. Like, certain groups just got marketed to based on lazy following. Like, oh, what does Twitter say? Like, that should never be an article anymore. Like, Twitter is saying that should never be a thing I need to know about. Ever. Well, that's what does Twitter say? Like that should never be an article anymore. Like Twitter is saying that should never be a thing I need to know about ever.

Well, that's what we're, yeah. So that got catered to so much. It created these bubble around people that's fucking crazy and they're getting fed it still just to sell them products. And you know, this virus is going to fucking pop that bubble.

It's like bad real estate right now being a fucking, being woke woke there's a real estate market that has is gonna being upset about stupid shit when real shit's going down it's always the value is way down yeah it's out of fashion well that's where it came from in the first place came from not enough real problems yeah yeah that's right i don't think it's the end of the world. And it also came from people. No. I get, same thing. I never could get emotional about who's president. I was in a doomsday cult, dude. Like, where I thought, like, I thought God was going to kill all of you by now was how

I absolutely thought. Yeah, you were convinced. Any minute now, this is going to end. So then, you know, so people think that's the end of the world. Like, they say that, but. Have you ever seen Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt? Yeah, I like that show. That's a funny show.

Do you really? Yeah, the first episode of that. I mean, I didn't live underground with Jon Hamm turning to crank. But certainly that mindset, yeah. It's a funny fucking show. It's just communal reinforcement keeps you in thing. And also the people around me were nice. Like I, i'm not bitter

about it it's just like i can't ever be uh or don't stumble your brother like i'm i'm not it's not any kind of courage or anything like i'm compulsive well for a guy like you it's always important for a guy like you to talk about it especially a guy like you who's all the way out and is now a comic it's right because people need to understand that it's a trap that you can get sucked into. It's like a pattern of behavior and thinking. And you get this confirmation from all the people that you're around. And everybody's doing the same thing. We all could get sucked into it.

I think I'm only less susceptible to that now just because of growing up in that. Mm-hmm. So because it's such an obsessive thing to me, I'll see it. I'm more likely to see it where it's not than not see it. But some people are not, they're not going to understand that. If you didn't grow up in a religion

where you had to do it, you have no idea, you don't understand religious people. And it shocks me at the level that people don't understand. It's almost like we need another word because you know what you're saying that like social justice warrior behavior in a lot of ways it gets very religious yeah it is like and it gets religious also for republican conservative type of behavior that gets very religious too like i can tell you a religion when it becomes called woke yeah but this that sounds

like a religion you gotta think anything that you get devoted to right where where you that you said religion when it becomes called woke. Yeah, but this, it works the other way too though, right? You gotta think that- Anything that you get devoted to. Right. Where you said it, that team thing, like, well, we got to stay on the team. Have you ever had a conversation, like here's an example, with a right-wing person who doesn't believe in climate change? Oh yeah, I used to always argue with Nick- DiPaolo?

Yeah, when we were doing- He doesn't believe in climate change? Come on No not about that But DiPaolo's always like We'd be on that Lucky Not

What was the Hulu thing That Louis had Jeez I'm so fucking high Louis Horse and Pete Oh So Nick Like he's the

He's awesome to hang out with Waiting to shoot something It was like He was awesome But arguing about political shit He gets like He gets heated And he gets like, he gets heated.

And he's like, what do you love Obama? Like it immediately goes to that. Um, but, uh, yeah, I,

but you know, I like him. I like, I think, uh, I wouldn't want him not to say what he thinks. What'd he say? I don't know something about Obama.

I don't know. some stupid guinea sheep. You should be able to say whatever you want to say. I have no issues engaging people like that. I'm used to knocking on strangers' doors. So nobody wanting to talk about their thing threatens me in any way. Like proselytizing does not bother me, you know? It would bother me if I'm not allowed to hear it because I don't need someone to tell me what I can.

Do you think there's less examples of that on the right than there are on the left of, of people like within sort of compulsive speech, like this compulsive, I think that, I think that the people that are on there, the people that whoever needs to worry about are all the people that aren't too far to one or the other. I agree. And,

and you know, there's every degree, every thing it it's now there can't just be two parties which is uh the good one and then the immoral evil ones yeah it's ridiculous that's crazy that there's by the way 68 fucking genders and only two sides of politics. That's fucking incredible. It's so true. It's so true. Yeah. So that's what happened to that guy, your boy Zach. He got fucking, you're with us or you're a Nazi.

Yeah, that's the problem. They want compliance. It's a game. It's not just people that have an ideology and some people agree with it and some people don't. It's a game of compliance. Wait, did you see the new mutants thing? Mutants?

The new mutants. Marvel. Marvel's reboot of the new mutants. You said it earlier. The new comics. What is the new mutants? What is it called? Did you mean the TV show?

I'm sorry. Not the new mutants. The it's what is it called did you mean the tv show the new mutants not the new i'm sorry not the new mutants the new warriors have you seen the most the most woke no what is this it's gonna look like you're gonna think it's a joke really yeah so this is the kind of thing he would be laughing at okay and people because i haven't read comics for like since i was a kid yeah i like comic book movies but everybody likes Anybody likes the movies, but they should. It should be easier than ever to give kids the comics. Okay, what is this? So this is- Oh, okay. We have talked about this.

Snowflake and Safe Space. Yeah. So this is like some kind of trolling, but basically they've been doing this in comics for the last, you know, it's like a nerdy, here's what happened. Comics in like Star Wars and all that shit was like nerdy guys that don't get laid stuff at one point. And then it became kind of cool to be a nerd and then it became a hot property. And so then got claimed by like the Portland, the Cthulhu Portland thing. That's what the, what comes of it? This

unironically. Look how unironically they swapped the gender colors. Well, people are mad and pink. Yeah. People that are fucking, uh, people that are fucking I don't even know Whose jurisdiction this is But people were mad at this The people they were trying to pander to Were like I don't dress like this You better not It's ridiculous

If you dress like that Even people that don't want to make fun of you Will start making fun of you Well it just looks like I would give up I'm like I can't mock you Better than you're doing yourself Yeah like what Okay i mean if i was gonna if i was like hey why don't you make fun of the create the stupidest uh woke comic you could think of that would be my characters bro her

bulge is bigger than his bulge too have you noticed that well how do you know that's the woman well i'm assuming because it's blue the blue with the hips like a woman is the woman and the one that's built like a man i'm assuming that's a man it's a trick question neither of them are a woman it's a trick question the answer is you're a piece of shit you fucking pig you cisgendered ass fuck um yeah well oh wait then here's well b negative isn't as funny as oh wait where's the girl with the backpack that's the other one oh holy screen time he has goggles over his eyes because he was exposed to his grandfather's internet gas his grandfather's experimental really loss over it where's the she's fucking hot that's the old that's the old warriors oh those the old ones yeah oh that's

back in the good days shit where's the girl with the backpack? I don't know. Come on. Go back up to the top. This is boring. This is the main- Oh, no. That's not a superhero. What do you think her power is? Her power is eating cake.

No. What? It's a magical backpack that has unlimited snacks. No, I'm making that up. She just has a magical backpack. Oh, my God. A pocket dimension with seemingly infinite space, which she could pull out useful or random objects. Okay.

So look at the drawing. It's not always under her control, though. She claims to get her power from God, but not the God you're thinking of. Jesus Christ, I can't do this. But look at the drawing. Let me see the drawing again. Look her in the eyes while you say that. Well, she looks strong.

She can carry a lot of stuff on her back. A magical backpack. She eats too much. You she can carry a lot of stuff on her back. What in the fuck? A magical backpack. She eats too much. You can't be a superhero when you eat too much. It's like, you know how Dora,

like how Wendy, from Wendy's, got real big when they showed her again? This is like what happened to Dora the Explorer. She got older and ballooned up.

I get they want something that represents some people. That's a troll. No, that's like, that's a luxury. That's like when you have the luxury of being like, like Gillette, like, are you good enough to get Gillette?

As opposed to being like, please buy our thing. We're beneath you. We're a fucking razor company. That's what this is. Fuck you to the people that are into that shit, which you can only do in a good economy. Like now, people better love your shit you don't get to just troll them right good point you know right it's gonna be harder to sell things or troll me and make me laugh well i i will give it to that guy who made that up right well that's where the

benefit of bad things actually comes in sometimes like some of the best things are bad things that are good by accident right yeah like what like like what, though? Like the Room movie. You ever see that movie? Yeah, I used to introduce that movie in New York. I did it for a promo thing for Comedy Central first, but then I had never seen the movie, so I kept going back and hosting it. And then we made a fake sequel to it.

This guy, George Glass, and he knew Tommy, so Tommy would leave him these long messages. It's fucking... Jesus Christ. That's how long ago this was. And the guy who played... Oh, hi, Mark. Greg, his name is... He wrote that book that they made in the movie.

That guy's cool as shit. The guy who plays Mark. Yeah. But the other guy, the one who got a blowjob and he had like... He goes, shiver me timbers or something. Because he left his, I left me underwears and you're,

remember that guy? And he gets a blowjob on, on what's his name? Wiseau's couch. God, I don't remember that. Yeah,

I remember every character. I saw it a bunch of times. I don't think I've ever seen it all the way through. Oh, dude, in the theater? I think I've only seen scenes.

I've never gone, no, I never went to, it has like, well, at the time, I don't know if it does now, but it had like that Rocky Horror Picture Show kind of thing, which I never did that. So at movie theaters, people would go and group watch it? But this movie, group watching it, it feels like right to yell at it. I swear to God, like I immediately, I thought it was like a, I'm like, I'm not going to get it.

But I immediately was like, oh, this, I really understand this. I'm like I'm not gonna get it I immediately was like oh this I really understand this and people yell sometimes they'll have a band playing and like yeah it was great

it was fucking awesome but the Rocky Horror Picture Show they do that because they actually like it yeah but this is a different vibe yeah it's very hard

I mean he's genuinely a fucking maniac and hard to deal with I had to have dude I had my girlfriend and another friend dress kind of like slutty and distract him so he wouldn't see the parody thing we made before we showed it and leave. Look at the reviews.

Yeah. But that, dude, nobody, listen, to make a thing that's watchably bad is like, that's a beautiful thing that can only rarely happen. Yeah, it's interesting. Like, the room is so unfeasibly bad, it has become a cult hit. Trust me, this is the worst movie you will ever see ever in your entire life, ever. But it's like... But it's amazing because it's real.

When they say worst, they have to be, I mean, watchable where it's not boring. That's the thing. Right. It's just not boring. So I think that's like a real lightning in a bottle. It's the worst movie because they're trying to make a good movie. It's not the worst movie to watch. I think it's the best to go to a thing, a theater of people.

The best? The best? People are shouting at the screen because you have cancer. The old lady with cancer. It's such a crazy movie. When did you see it?

I've only seen it on I guess it was DVD at the time. And I only watched part of it and then I had to shut it off. I can't do this. I remember that. I remember those billboards, Jamie. When I lived here early in the Hollywood days, right after they made this movie, I would drive around and see that billboard. It was up there forever.

Forever. He had The Room, the movie. And we were like, oh, theroommovie.com. And he'd drive by it. Like, what year was that? I'm trying to remember. I might have made it up because I've seen this, but I feel like I've seen it in person really but I don't know he might have had it up he might have had it up still he was he had

a billboard up forever yeah but what year was the movie made 2003 it said what yeah how's that possible well I missed it I would have thought it was way earlier than that. There's also multiple billboards. There's one where it was coming soon. How old is he? Nobody knows. I never saw the top one, coming soon.

How old is he? I don't know. He looks like an older fella. But there's a couple movies like that. Like, Showgirls is a movie like that. I don't remember it. I just vaguely remember it. It's a good one.

Is that the end of Elizabeth Berkley after that? It's hard to bounce back from some of those movies. Because the movie is so bad or because it was, you know. Who knows, man. She went from Saved by the Bell to being a dirty girl. So did Screech. They brought back Saved by the Bell? Yeah, Slater Yeah Look at this

Wow Still looks good Yeah Looking good freak They just made it Mario Lopez Looking good Everybody's looking good

So what are they coming back As the They're the parents Yeah Or some shit Zach is Back in the neighborhood There's a bunch of jokes

Referring to it And there's a bunch of new jokes About like iPads and blah blah blah Are they gonna let Screech back in I don't think so Screech was out there Doing porn No Screech is like out there doing porn about them i don't think that oh he was me in the book right behind the bell or something something like that screech was doing stand-up there was uh skippy from family ties remember when he was doing stand-up yes you know who lived with

him judah freelander was his roommate oh that's right yeah he said skippy would just like be in his room he's like he would smoke pot all day and then he would come out and be like, did you eat my, it was like a, he goes, I'm going to have a sandwich and I'm not going to touch it for a while, but I want that sandwich. So, and he would always come out freaked out about missing a call to something. What happened to him? Does he still do standup now or no? I don't know.

Now I'm Skippy with nuts. I used to remember. I used to remember. That was his thing. Is that what it said? He would go, yeah. That's what he said. Like he's dirty now. Now I'm Skippy with nuts. I used to remember. I used to remember. That was his thing? Is that what it said? He would go, yeah, like he's dirty now. He's like Skippy with nuts. Get it.

I don't know. He would always be there. I never met him, I don't think. Maybe I met him one time, but he would always be on the wall. Like, coming next week, Skippy from Family Times. I remember that was the first guy that I worked in a club where he worked. And I was like, oh, yeah, that guy from TV. He's coming next week.

I met a TV. You know the first guy I remember I saw from TV in comedy where I saw him in the club was the legendary Wid. I remember that guy. We saw him walking down the street. It was me and Big J were doing the laugh house. What was his shtick?

He's a prop guy that's right from the 80s that's right he used to be on Making Me Laugh all the time people don't know that before Carrot Top prop guy

was a genre yeah prop guy I don't like when they get political prop you just had old MAGA props pulling out signs

and it's all like that that scene in the In Excess video. You keep throwing them aside. When is prop comedy? Remember that Bob Dylan scene? One of the old Bob Dylan. Oh, my God. The lady had the placards and she's throwing them up in the air.

Or did Bob Dylan have the placards? He had it. It's like a couple different people. Yeah. They've done that more than once, right? People hold up signs and chalks. Yeah. It was real whatever.

I didn't find it to be shit, but I know it's a legendary thing of throwing your placards. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah. There it is. Bob Dylan. Oh, yeah. Right.

Oh, I'm thinking of U2. Didn't Bono do this after? He might have done it too. Maybe in tribute. I'm thinking of the U2 thing. I'm pretty sure NXS did it. I've never seen Bob. I had no idea Bob Dylan did this.

He was the first. I only saw the remake. He would do it to the lyrics to his song. What? Bring cue cards everywhere? Subterranean Homesick Blues. And so he would, that's actually him singing the words. So he's doing a music video but refusing to sing.

He's just holding up these pieces of paper that have all the different lyrics on them. Yeah, no, I never saw this version. Yeah, it's good. We can't play the music, unfortunately. Who did the thing that I'm thinking of? I think NXS did it. Was it? Yeah, I think it did the music and who did the thing that I'm thinking of there made a remit excess did it was it? Yeah, I think it was in excess in excess. Who's the what the lead singer is one of those dudes that choked me Just off to death jerking off. Yeah, it wasn't

No, no, I'm asking is it well that who knows Once you're dead can't ask you questions. Somebody told somebody told me, like, a lot, because a lot of these musicians are ex-heroin addicts, so the only thing that's close to the endorphins of that is a good choke jerk. Choke slash jerking off. Yeah, choke jerk. So they do that. It's something very specific.

That's it at the top, Jamie. That was it. Ten different videos here that did it. A lot of people did it. Oh, these are all different people that did it in different songs? Yeah. Oh.

Okay, go up to the NSX Yeah. Oh. I'm a rapper in my mom. Okay. Go up to the NSX one. Wow. I've never seen- This is the one you're thinking of. The top one. Yeah. That's right.

This one's pretty famous. I'm going to mediate. Yeah. That's right. I'm thinking it. Wow. Dude, I actually had no idea Bob Dylan did that first. You didn't know?

I only know the NXS thing oh yeah Bob Dylan was the original do you think that this guy was he a heroin guy is that why he was I'll bet he was an ex-heroin guy

choking himself dude it's like you burn out your pleasure centers of your brain so you need some intense like an explosion of

sensation from a choke jerk I never thought of it until you brought it up but it totally makes sense. Right? If you couldn't shoot up anymore and you wanted to get that rush.

He wanted to make this as an invention, like a Shark Tank invention, which he means dead serious invention. It makes me laugh. It's a belt. It lets go. It's got a sensor in case you got to jerk off to your belt. That's the way you're dead.

It has a sensor to just release you when you... But if it lets you go in your unconscious, you might bang your head off the floor and die anyway. Well, some things are worth the risk, okay? It almost makes you want to try it. That's such an embarrassing way to die though. I know, it's too...

There was a preacher that died. He had a wetsuit on. He died doing that. He had a wetsuit on. Oh, yeah. Who was that? I remember that. He had a giant dildo up his ass.

What's the wetsuit for? The wetsuit's to hold his comment. Does it get messy with that dildo? It's to hold his comment. Is it? No, I'm just guessing. I would bet it was like a compression hold on that butt plug, the dildo. So he's got this dildo up his ass.

And then the wetsuit squeezes. And the wetsuit sucks it all in place so it can't go anywhere. So his ass can't shit it out. I mean, is it that hard to lose a dildo in your ass that you need a wetsuit? I think your ass would want to shit it out immediately. And I think he's probably. Oh, and then the tension formed by that. He's probably been to other rodeos.

And so he's realized what gets him thrown off the horse. Yeah, I didn't think he just started at wetsuit level. Wetsuit with a dildo. That was his first time in the wetsuit. And a noose. Wow. And he's a preacher. That's a lot. It's a lot happening. A lot of conflicting evidence. This guy has seen God. You know what? I believe him more than ever. Yeah. Imagine God called to him and said, listen, I'm going to bring you to me, but you got to do it in a humiliating way. That's the closest you can get.

I got an idea. Imagine if God, look, God didn't, God tried to get people to kill their sons. Oh, you're talking about. What was the story? Abraham and Isaac. Yeah. It's to see if you would, if you would do it. If you kill your son

it's not yeah it's not it's a creepy game God was playing didn't actually go through with it but it's a creepy game um it

well yeah well you know you're not a fucking right you're not a a like a cave Jew from the

from the bronze ages imagine that same God today but he's only around occasionally and he comes down and he talks to his preacher the fucked up thing is the view of your son as property From the Bronze Ages. Imagine that same God today, but he's only around occasionally. And he comes down and he talks to his preacher. The fucked up thing is the view of your son as property. See, this is the old world.

It's like God will give you 10 more sons. That's in Job. That's back when you owned your family. And by the way, if you didn't own them, somebody would kill them or do something awful. That's just how it was. Yeah. People are terrible. I don't judge none of their shit, but here here's the reverse of that i'm not taking any judgment like what if moses saw you doing that like i don't it's not my it's not his business

but imagine if god was real but god only came down occasionally and tried to get people to do up things like kill their son imagine if one time he was like a a Steve-O in his early like a prankster he was like an impractical joker well he's like Banksy nobody knows what he looks like but everybody's pretty sure he exists so he comes down occasionally he's not into giving large scale advice but occasionally

he goes down and talks to this preacher and says I want to thank you for believing in me I know you're a true believer and I'm going to bring you to heaven but you know you're a true believer, and I'm going to bring you to heaven. But, you know, you have too much ego. You hold on to too much ego, and I want to humiliate you in death. This sounds like the original script of Prometheus. This is what he was originally going for.

Prometheus is a weird one, right? I kind of like it. It's very stupid, but I like it i really don't like it as much as i like the next one the next alien movie was really good covenant i like that one too i love that one i know people didn't like it that was a good one it also features justy smollett before the allegations it does yes he's in it he is he's one of the dudes in the ship is he a a guy who fucking- He's one of the dudes. Did he go to the cops and say a white alien popped out of his back? It popped out of my back and it said, this is a MAGA ship. This is MAGA country.

Welcome to MAGA. Welcome to MAGA country. This is a MAGA system. You're about to enter. Yeah, he was one of the dudes piloting the ship with, what the fuck's his name? Kenny. Oh, right. Yeah, the comic, the hilarious guy.

Yeah, yeah. From the Foot Fist way. Danny McBride. Danny McBride. Yeah, he's on it too. He's hilarious in it. Yeah, I like it, dude. Yes, there's Jussie Smollett.

I know. Wow. It's a fun fucking movie. Hey, look, he got jacked. Bam. What is that, Cinemorg? Is that in the movie? Is that the scene in the movie where he got jacked?

Oh, my God. How did he audition for that part? Did that go right through the back of his head? Yeah. Jesus Christ. Now, I want you to imagine a cock coming out the other end of your body. Like, I don't have to. My favorite part in that movie is when the one lady locks the lady and the infected guy inside that room after the thing bursts out.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That was cool, dude. Ooh. That was a heavy fucking scene, man. That was a heavy scene. That was a really good, scary horror movie scene. Yeah, that was genuinely a fucking good uh and that alien that they made at the end that one that you're showing a picture of

jamie that thing that was more in the beginning that guy no no he was uh towards the end i think he was the the combination alien well okay see the dark one there i thought that oh oh that's the one that came out like later that stowed, oh, oh. That's the one that came out later that stowed away. Yeah, that bit the girl's shoulder off. Remember? Oh, yeah. Remember that? Yeah.

But I thought this one was like it would eat. It wanted to eat them. Yeah, it was trying to eat them. Yeah, that's what it looked like. That's what it looks like when it came chasing after that lady. Oh, Prometheus. I'm sorry. I thought you were talking about Covenant.

No, I am talking about Covenant. Remember when they were downstairs in the other David's place? That was a black alien. I thought it was white. No, that's what comes out of your back, the white one in the beginning. But I thought there was a white one in that movie. It might have been one comes running in at the end. It looked like that.

It's lighter skinned. Yeah. Remember that, Jamie? I'm not making anything up. I didn't see this movie. There was a scene towards the end where they realized

that this artificial intelligence guy had started breeding these aliens together and combining their DNA with people, with other things. And it came

and jumped out and got them. It put its arms up the alien like he did like a hand wave and it went like that he did like the fucking came in the joey diaz hand space waving it was uh it came running out and it bit her on the shoulder look at that this alien looks like joey diaz's balls i don't think this is the scene. It's when he was downstairs in that artificial... There's a pink one. It sounds like a pink one. It was a weird color. It was like a whitish

color. And it was down... When he was in the dwelling where that guy would draw and do all the scientific experiments. Oh, no, no. A face hugger got him. Well, there was another one. There was a full-grown alien down there. God, anybody who's like a real alien fan is probably so mad at us right now. Yeah, this is it. I can feel probably so mad at us right now. I know. Yeah, this is it.

I can feel it. This is it. Oh. I think. Oh, he gets mad that someone shot it. See, it's kind of a white thing. It's called a neomorph, I guess. Yeah.

They killed it. And he's all mad. He goes, hey. What is this? The music was not. What is that music that goes with it okay

yeah that's it so there's a scene but there's a scene where it gets a girl I think I'm pretty sure I think it was yeah

see so it's kind of a pale looking thing sorry no it is that you're right lack of entertainment in the last 15 minutes

ladies and gentlemen I forgot which I know. It's romantic with this song. Well, that was a cool part of the movie is that he had been there for so long. He'd been experimenting with these aliens and making different kinds. Yeah, right. Yeah.

And it was also interesting, too, like the difference between the new version where they had cut out creativity and the old version where he was- Wait, they cut out creativity? In the artificial intelligence guys. You know, there's always like- Oh, yeah, right, right, right. A robot guy. Yeah, there's always a robot guy.

He tried to kiss himself or something. He's like, I love you. That's what it looked like, Jamie. That's exactly what it looked like. Where you saw the white head. That right there. You just had it. Bang.

So that's what it looked like. And then it came out its whole mouth opens up and a bitter shoulder it like took a giant chunk out of her if i remember correctly i'd be i was very scared what is all that different lighting over it do those i don't know it's a good question those are my some of my favorite movies because no i like it i i just wish they he showed the fucking engineer i don't like they spaced it out another, you know, extra movie. He has really something about somebody with like a space Judy. Someone like that haircut that fucking fights aliens.

It's up to this last space Judy to fucking. Fucking Rolling Stones are playing in the background somehow. Is that what it was? And that music? Are we fucked now? Are we going to get kicked out? no, I wasn't playing the sound. Oh, good. It's, I mean, the series of movies, some of the best horror and science fiction movies of all time.

You got to go back to the original one. That original Alien holds up. Yeah, it's great. Holds up. That's a 1979 movie about aliens and space, and it fucking holds up. Yeah. I mean, it's still, the technology looks goofy. Like the little, it's going off in the background. All their computers are fucking older.

They don't know what they're doing. Nothing looks worse than like a 90s tech movie, like Hackers or something. Ooh, is this a Pentium? Back to the Future. Yeah, but what were they right about Back to the Future? They were probably right about a lot of shit, right? Wasn't Trump president in Back to the Future 2? Was he?

Am I wrong? Imagine. I think he was president of The Simpsons. The Simpsons predicted it, yes. There's a great video about how accurate The Simpsons were about so many different things. Yeah. And that Matt Groening must be some sort of a time traveler. I think he just said whatever the most hilarious thing he could think of was.

It turned out to be true. I got this one. That's waiting to be predicted. 13 Simpsons predictions that could not come true, but still could. All right, let's see. Oh, that have not come true, but still could. Ivanka 2028. Ivanka 2028 is probably 100% going to happen.

If it said Melania, then I would go, oh, time travel. Do you think people step up Melania and Michelle Obama together? Melania, the hottest first lady we've ever had. She's for sure the hottest. Any argument will start a fight, right? There's no, who's a close second? To Melania Trump.

I mean, it's not even fair to- It's not fair. Yeah. No, it's not fair. But Melania and Michelle Obama together. Unstoppable ticket. Michelle probably was the most. The Unite the Parties.

Wait, oh yeah, Laura Bush was a... She was not bad. Was not bad. Pretty lady. Hillary Clinton when she was younger. Fucking Barbara Bush was like, it was like a legendary joke how unfuckable the first lady was. The entire 90s, there was like something where a guy would punch Barbara Bush in the face.

Remember that naked gun? Yeah, there were so many jokes about it. OJ would be falling down the stairs. People loved it, dude. There were so many jokes about Barbara Bush. She was legendarily ugly when I was a kid. I understood

she was the first lady, and also she was one of the ugliest first ladies. It just came through over and over again on all media. So is this all the first ladies? Not all of them. It's just a picture of the three second ones. Do they mock her on every format of whatever? They did. She was declared ugly.

They did. It was like, yeah. Nancy Reagan was always really weird. Oh, Jackie O though, was one of the first ones where you could see a bush in her thing. Oh,

really? Yeah, remember? There was pictures of Jackie, a hustler. A bush? Yeah, hustler.

That's how Larry Flint got rich. If it came out, like fucking, really? Why do I forget that? He spent a bunch of money on that house that he was going to make

to get kicked out of in Ohio. Really? Yeah, they thought it was going to make to get kicked out of in Ohio. Really? Yeah, they thought it was going to be like a Playboy Hustler mansion, Playboy mansion. Oh. Like, get out of here. Well, he did open up some casinos. He did. Nancy Reagan used to get Ronald Reagan to listen to astrology.

Yeah, right. She had a White House astrologer. They would run all the decisions by the astrologer. Do you believe in astrology? Of course. Do you do astrology? Oh, every day. I don't.

In fact, I'm doing it right now. I'm a Gemini and we're skeptics. Oh, first ladies never married to presidents? Never married. The other women? Oh, the side pieces. Wait a minute, but they were still considered the first lady? No, no, no.

The ones who, this is just a trick. National First Lady's Library. Turn that over, you son of a bitch. We are the side piece society of... It's like the sons and daughters of the revolution. I can't wait for a woman to become president just so we can see what we call the guy. Is that not settled? Unless she's a lesbian, which would be even better.

I hope that we find out that you have to love pussy to run the country. Whether you love pussy and you have one, or you love pussy- That's how I would run if I was a lesbian. Like, hey, we all know it's important. You have to be willing to eat pussy. We all love pussy i wait is this what am i looking for oh the weed we gotcha the weed i thought you i thought he was posting it on the screen the elation for your coronavirus test and then the weed together

can i tell you something punch an aids test was not as stressful. Really? Yeah. I didn't feel as... It's probably... It's just because it was a long car ride, so I'm just like, oh, shit. It's probably the most stress-inducing thing any of us have had to go through, except for the people that have been to war or first responders or people that have experienced. I find it strangely calming because it's so beyond my control. So beyond.

Yeah. I got to ask you, you had Barry Crimmins on here one time, didn't you? Sure, yeah. So we were on a tour together. We almost died in this car accident. Really? Yeah, the car we were in, it we're on black ice and uh who was driving uh this dude uh i won't say his name but anyway he fucking so so he's driving i'm in the passenger seat barry is uh behind the driver and we were going about 65

on the highway which wouldn't be too bad except it's black ice because it's winter And he was trying to pass this tractor trailer So as we're going the car starts wobbling And uh, oh my god, dude, so I remember I said what the fuck three times I this is how much time there was I didn't like duck or anything because I saw the trailer We we just started my side started going in under the fucking. Oh my god So I just went I just remember going well, I guess I'm dead. Like, and then at the very last second it spun like, cause it was wobbling. And then the back where no one was sitting, that got grabbed and the window blew in.

And then we spun into the middle of the highway. It was crazy, dude. But afterwards, I remember that me and Barry, I felt like high. I remember you telling me the story. The driver was weeping. I felt high. And the reason was it was so out of my control. I mean, it was so, like, because I was definitely sure my head was going to come off.

I just went like that. Oh, my God. And it felt so out of my hands. I was like, oh. Like, it felt like a, I thought I was going to die all kinds of times. But usually it was like, you know, I mixed some kind of drugs or I did something where, you know. It made sense. So some, I think I was trained from, you know, end of the world kind of feelings since birth

from being in that thing. And I think I just have them where it relaxes me more than. What would they tell you the end of the world would be? You know, whatever everybody says. What do you mean? Like when you say it was an end of the world cult. What did they think? Oh, a doomsday cult.

Yeah. That God's revelation is going to happen in Armageddon. God's going to destroy the wicked system of things. It has an appeal to it. Oh, for sure. And then set up a reasonable... That the righteous will survive. Of course.

Well, Jehovah's Witnesses, some people live on earth in a Garden of Eden restored paradise. Have you ever seen the literature? They show that. I believe it's paintings of Hawaii. No. You ever go to Hawaii? It's beautiful. It looks like...

It's gorgeous. That's what their heaven is. Maybe that's the moon. That's what the guy painting it in the things I saw. When I finally went to Hawaii, I i was like oh this is the parent that's what i thought of paradise my entire life of you know the garden of eden and this hawaii looks like that imagine if hawaii was all that was left like there's enough that's a volcano there's enough people but imagine if that's it well there'd be a lot of meth i'll tell tell you that. How many people? Hawaii is supposedly, I think, the spot in the world that's the furthest away from other spots.

It is completely isolated in the middle of the ocean. It's like the Earth's vagina. It's lush. It's gorgeous, right? It's amazing. But I think it's also five hours by plane to anywhere. I think the closest you can get is like Guam or places like that. But it's really isolated.

It shocked me. I got there at night when I went to Kauai, which I heard is like the good one to go to. Kauai is awesome. I've never been, but it's gorgeous. It was pitch black when I got there at night. And then I woke up and it looked like fucking Jurassic Park. It was crazy. That's looked like fucking Jurassic Park or like, it was crazy. That's where they filmed

Jurassic Park. I was on like a cliff and then there was like, it was like every kind of biome in one spot. It's magic, at least from the photos. Well,

I've been to Maui, I've been to the Big Island. Five days, five days is perfect. Yeah. Like, you go crazy after that? Dude,

it would become a beautiful hell that, that you, your only joy in life besides methamphetamine would be showing new people that come to the island. Weren't they on Hawaii in the show Lost? They're desperately trying to get out. Were they on an island like Hawaii? But they filmed it, I thought, in Hawaii.

Oh, yeah, for sure they did, right? Yeah, and you're ready to go after. It was like a place you go after you die, it felt like. Well, some people go to like Maui and they live there. I've seen Dog the Bounty Hunter. I know. Oh, I know. Steven Tyler lived there.

A bunch of people. Pierce Brosnan lived up the block from where I stayed. Did he really? Yeah. I think the climate kind of destroys property, so it's very expensive, the upkeep of owning a home there. Dude, I was just reading about Malibu, how much beach Malibu's losing. Oh, really?

And they're trying to do all these different things to try to save the beach. Like a beach comb over from another beach. They're doing- As they don't acknowledge there's a problem. They're literally calling it- Much like I do with my hair for many years. They're literally calling it beach Bot like I do with my hair for many years. They're literally calling it beach Botox. Really?

Yes. Why? They try to fatten it up? Because it doesn't last. Oh. Because it's like a little quick fix. So they pour all this sand into this area, and then the ocean swats it away. I thought they have a way to make artificial sand dunes that work.

They have a way to do some walls but the thing about it is it affects other beaches so like if you put up a beach wall over here it's going to affect the beach of the people down there and so they're like hey fuck you you're going to ruin our beach because you want more beach right because there's only a certain amount of water the problem is the water is rising. The water is starting to take over. So then everybody should have extra water. Good.

Well, they're saying by 2100, it's going to move all the way through. There's going to be none of those houses. This is what the story was saying. That by 2100, there'll be no more beach. None of those houses will exist. The beach will be in a totally different spot. The water will get so high that it just starts taking over everything no shit yeah man sounds like i'm telling you china felt like going to the movie blade runner i bet it did i wouldn't go now it seems the tensions are high now yeah well i was there

before the 2016 election just before it and they were into trump oh really yeah because he's like a business that whole thing of your name on everything like chinese people love that like they they get him do you know what i mean like i don't know now how it is but um they were all about him because he's business he's a businessman he was successful he's a businessman that's how they fucking well he definitely it's not commies what i'm saying he definitely- It's not commies, what I'm saying. He definitely rubbed them the wrong way with this, right? Oh, no, they don't even have a- Dude, if the country of China goes, hey, that's racist, they are purely playing on American, like, dippy kind of shit.

Like, they don't have any feelings. Do you see what they're doing with black people there? They're kicking them out now. They put it on them, you know. Yeah. Instead of the bat soup or whatever everybody said, they're like, oh, it's because it spreads because of black people there they're kicking them out now they they put it on them you know yeah instead of the bat soup or whatever everybody said they're like oh it's because it spreads because of black people that's what they're trying to say that it's because of black people because they also

said it was because of americans um yeah they're like fucking romulans do whatever whatever it takes to make a narrative the government controls like here it's a bunch of corporations pushing what they want they're the fucking guy the head guy the papers pushes winnie the pooh agenda i think they just passed a law saying that the chinese guys can't go online and play video games with people in other countries yeah well russia has some laws like that too you couldn't get certain american foods because of the fucking you know after they went to crimea there was like a. Oh, anti-American sentiment. But the government was like, yeah, America's right. They really still.

I watched that interview you did with what's his name? Snowden. Yeah, it was interesting. But I thought I thought it really stuck out about it, how it blows up. Because Putin could be like failing if not for same way Trump wins. It's not for the constant like this guy's the devil and the boogeyman and it gives them status you know how smoking commercials where they go quit smoking and they say they don't work because all it does is put

the word smoking in your head that's what they've been doing for fucking five don't Trump but all you hear is Trump well that was Trump's play when running up to the election to say more outrageous shit. Yeah, that's great. The problem wasn't even doing it on purpose.

You called the system up. Yeah, but they used that to show how bad Trump is. I think it's a habit of doing that on purpose. I think that's something he's done for many years. But I think with them, they didn't even know what was going on until they were checkmated. Because they're fucking greedy. They were making money off of it. Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, it's a great thing. People want to see the dumb shit that he says they want to get outraged well also I mean maybe next time we'll crack down on comedy people want to hear someone not observe your fucking like somebody they want someone to ace

Ventura put their hand in your food plate and your monocle falls out so that used to be like my job But now you this is like the most my now my job is being an ally or some shit Not that and Trump Trump gets to do everybody's job of just saying whatever crazy shitty well He gets to be Tracy Morgan now And Tracy Morgan has to watch it. That's that's the system that we have that's a good way of putting it Like nobody tells crazy Morgan stop saying crazy shit. He's the one that we have. That's a good way of putting it. Like nobody tells Tracy Morgan, stop saying crazy shit.

He's the one guy who can't be stopped for not. And by the way, why shouldn't he say crazy shit? You could say the most reasonable shit in the world and somebody will. The shit with you with Bernie where they're like, he better. What is he supposed to do? Like throw away your, not even direct endorsement. All I said is I'll probably vote for him. Yeah.

Like he was supposed to like, like denounce you. I swear to God, I read this. I know I have a huge bit about it now. I almost want, don't want to go into it because I'm hoping that comedy will return. I'll be able to do it.

You better. You gotta guard. 10 new minutes. You gotta guard your precious bits. And this COVID-19 did save the real bangers. Are we going to really go back to comedy? Like, what's a comedy club going to be like when it returns? And when I asked you, when do you think we're going to?

Like, I was going to ask you. Well, that's when it becomes a problem, right? Because none of us fucking have an idea. Yeah. We're all. I got a podcast, so I guess that's my only. Basically, I got a podcast. I'm going to start farming tigers is what I have going on.

I want my pussy handled. Plenty of tigers, so I don't got to worry about getting pussy. I'll get pussy. That's the move, right? If you have tigers, people will fuck you. You see that guy, the fucking tiger guy? Yeah. And he does yoga.

He does yoga and tigers. That guy fucks. Oh, the guru guy? Yeah. What does he call himself bagavan jiga any white guy calling themselves bagavita fucking oh god that's hilarious what does it mean how do you fall for that that blows my fucking mind the same way you fall for manson same way you become a social justice warrior same shit people want to belong your mom kicked you out for having a pot pipe? That too. That too.

There was an FBI raid at your house because you bought drugs in the park. A lot of the fast food restaurant you worked at. Oh, yeah. Doc Antle. There he is. Boggy Vaughn Antle. Boggy Vaughn. Look at the girls.

Hey, Boggy Vaughn. I know. Looking good, bro. Congratulations to you. He looks good in a tie. Nice bow tie. But that show, the beautiful thing about that show is that those are real people and this is real life.

And it's like, oh, that's there too. I kind of get why the Chinese are grinding up tigers now for dick I mean, obviously it works. I don't even know why I was criticizing. You could keep the tiger alive and get the same pussy. That's all I'm saying. That's what it is. Do they have tiger bones

or something like that? Is that one of their ailments? What do they use tigers for? You've heard the Chairman Mao, his old sayings of, like his physician wrote a book after he died. No, what did he say? He was like filthy. He had syphilis. He wouldn't brush his teeth.

And the doctor was like, listen, you got to brush your teeth. And he would go, I swear to God, he would go, does the tiger brush his teeth? What do you even have to say? That's like saying, this is New Orleans. This is Las Vegas, Nevada. Yeah, this is Las Vegas. Traditional Chinese medicine, tiger bones are believed to help cure conditions like rheumatism and arthritis along with erectile dysfunction.

Rhino horns. Oh my God, you put a rhino horn in your ass, you rub some tiger powder on your fucking balls. And you're ready to go, baby. Yeah, back when they all had syphilis and they just died of it, and it rotted their skin out, their teeth would fall out. That's so fucking,

you ever see the Johnny Depp movie where he gets the nose fall off syphilis? Oh, what was that movie? The Libertine. No. Yeah, it's really bad. No, I didn't see that one. I don't really kind of remember it, but I know at the end he's all fucking syphilitic,

and he looks like a Dead Men Tell No Tales Pirates of the Caribbean ghost. Oh, God. But that was a common thing, because he would just get syphilit. Look at his eyeball, too. He's got a dead eye. He's got makeup on, the wig. That's how people lived. Imagine what they stunk like back then. I know that's the thing I have

rotting syphilitic With a wig on sweating under the wig makeup cake skin and oh Imagine no soap Pair of boots from you got open sores probably all over the place because of the syphilis if you lost your nose It's not all you're losing. You got holes all over your fucking body. Is that right?

You get like new nose holes besides? Not just nose holes, dude. Go to syphilis wounds, like syphilis autopsy. Your fucking head falls. Hey, more holes to fuck or is that syphilis talk? No, no, no. Not like that. Not like full holes.

No, I know. Like holes in your skin, like where you could see your skull. I know. It was making me feel gross, and I wanted to change this. Like, yes. Is it really like that? Yeah. Do you know that that's where the whole powdered wig thing came from?

No. Yeah, it came from people that had syphilis. Particularly two, I believe there was French gentlemen who were royalty that were young, and they contracted syphilis and their hair fell out and they started wearing wigs. Look at that guy's face. Holy shit. Look on that one. That's what happens to your face in syphilis. Whose pussy did he

eat? Oh my god. He looks like a little kid too. His lips are gone. His nose is gone. How would that be? It just rots your skin out. It leaves holes in your head. Oh my god, dude. Yeah. Horrendous.

A powder wig's not going to fix that. No. So what happened? Look, you get holes in your skin and shit. Look at that guy's head. Oh, no. Put a wig on. Go ahead.

Look at that shit. Get your wig. I take it back. Burning through his fucking head into his brain. So anyway. A nice comfortable wig on top of that. That must feel fucking amazing. These wealthy guys were like the shit.

What does it say? Syphilis? What is it? I believe syphilis too, by the way. Syphilis or gonorrhea, that came from the new world. Did it? You know how like the flu that killed all the fucking well, they brought back either gonorrhea or syphilis.

So it came from Native Americans? Montezuma's Revenge. Oh, wow. Is that true? Yeah. Holy shit. I mean, I assume. That's what killed Al Capone too, right?

Didn't it? They say that, but there's a new movie coming out with Bane in it. What's his name? Ed Hardy. Ed Hardy. And he plays a syphilitic Hulk. No, Tom Hardy. Ed Hardy's in the same shit.

Have you seen the Ed Hardy? Ed Hardy? I love Tom Hardy. Ed Hardy's the same shit. Have you seen the Ed Hardy? Ed Hardy? I love Tom Hardy. How dare you? Yeah, Tom Hardy is going to play a syphilitic, but this movie seems to be about that he was faking it. Oh. But I don't know. Who fucking knows? When someone's dead for 50 years, you can make up

shit about them. Yeah, stuff gets... It's like, who cares? Start making up what happened. It sounded like he had... I mean, I could believe he probably had syphilis. Of course he had syphilis. He probably had everything. And I don't think he was getting enough meth. Like, at least like the...

JFK and Hitler were getting their meth to come. Yeah, and cocaine injections and testosterone shots. Yeah. What is this, the trailer? Yeah, it's Neil Brandon. Neil Brandon! Look at Neil Brandon! The Al Capone!

Based on true events. But you could just say that, based on true events. You could kind of fucking do whatever you want. Yeah, true. Do you just mean events? Yeah, just something happened. That's what events are, things that happened. There was a guy who lived in the house, and everything else was made up.

Yeah, Al Capone was a guy. So the big wig thing came from these guys who were rich guys who wore these powdered wigs that's what a big wig is yeah and then other people wanted to uh copy them and so it became fashion a lot of them had syphilis and the more expensive your wig would be the bigger it would be so that's why those guys no because you'd have like a lot of like a really lot of hair in it you gotta really distract from the rest of the part falling apart

legitimately and then they were still fucking hoping their dick wouldn't rot off but still fucking I think a lot of times the dick would rot off wouldn't it that's what they looked like people just turned into cheese gradually back then yeah they just had holes in their face that guy has a hole in his face.

Aw, dude. Look, the painter made him flattering, right? That's the worst fucking part. Yeah, look at that hole in his head. That is a hole, right? He's underselling. Make the hole. Idealize the hole in my face.

Wait, that's not a mole, right? No. It's huge. Pull it up. Make it larger. So this guy has a syphilitic hole. Is that a word? Yeah, syphilitic.

Hole in his face. And other than that, it looks great. With his rosy lips. Looks like he's got some lipstick on. Nice outfit. That's how foundation and... If you were royalty back then, you probably fucked all the peasants. Right?

No, you would fuck a cousin and then whoever attends to your cousin in the castle. Well, you would breed with a cousin, but you'd probably fuck a bunch of people on the sneak tip too, right? Yeah, probably. Yeah, you're a royal and you've got a hole in your face and you know how much time, right? How much time do you think you've got left when you can see your teeth on the side? Well, that's what Chairman Mao did. He fucking stepped up his stepped up his horn the guy told him he was sterile and chairman mayo took it to mean erectile dysfunction but he just might no i mean you

can't have kids you know oh i'm a sterile am i i'll show and he just spread a whole bunch of oh my god and the girls were proud of it they would say i caught the fucking because he's syphilis from chairman, because that's a fucking cult and a half. Now that's a your mom's house shirt. I got syphilis from Chairman Mao. Have a hoe with like half her face hanging out. Yeah, dude. It's crazy, the details.

Can you imagine that they were proud? Is that real? It's a cult leader, dude. I'm proud I lost my lips. Listen, didn't the chick from Smallville get a brand of some guy? Oh, that's right. From like a multi-level, not even a cult, like a multi-level marketing seminar. She was like, oh yeah, no, brand my ass. Right.

Right, it was like that vitamin company. That guy did that without any tigers. He did that completely tiger free. How did that guy do that? He got women to be his tigers. They would go out and get other women and make them feel comfortable. What do you think? But what was there acid involved?

Was there any kind of drugs? No, just group manipulation. That's it? Yeah. Acid. That's why it's so stupid. Those experiments. Cause like, I feel like I like somebody could have told you that like nothing.

That's just like a seasoning on top of something that's already there. Right. That's not, there's not a drug that puts a thing there that wasn't there. It let something out that was in there, you know? So people are like that. I don't know if you're right. I don't know if you're right about acid. Religion gets to who you are.

Like if you are, something you're devoted, it's something that it gets to who you are. I'm sure. That's why people can't leave because they're like, that would be like I wouldn't exist anymore because this is what I am. I'm sure that's true without any acid and without drugs. But I do think that they showed that you can do things to people if you get them daily acid and manipulate them. I think it was a pretty sophisticated-

You can disorient. Yeah. I'm sure you can disorient people and fucking- Well, they even thought, they're pretty sure- But I don't think they planned for- That they were going to get people to do things. Like get people to commit murder, get people to do things that would never do those things. I mean, well, I'm sure that it doesn't help.

I just don't, like Ted Kaczynski, I can see that looks like something getting out of hand. Like our asset experiment created a thing we didn't anticipate. Not that that was the end goal. Right, right, right. I agree with you. Yeah, I think with Kaczynski what happened was he just made sense, but he made sense in a way that people were like, yeah, but you don't blow up the guy who's making the circuit boards. No, that's the issue. It's just like, I don't get, it's just like, you know, hey, I don't get why.

Okay, great. The trains run on time, but why would you have to kill six million Jews? Like, how does one correlate to the next? Right. You know, like, that's why I said it seems like he came from the future. Because so, you're reading like, that's exactly what's going on right now.

And he knew ahead of time. Well, you gotta think, you got a brilliant guy. And then you dose him up with acid at Harvard. Yeah, right. So he probably thinks, hey, I made got to think you've got a brilliant guy, and then you dose him up with acid at Harvard. Yeah, right. So he probably thinks, hey, I made it to Harvard. He's all scrambled up, and he's still smart, but it's all faulty. What was the brilliant mind that movie was? Yeah, right.

Yeah, Russell Crowe, remember? Was it that brilliant for him to figure out to go hit on the ugly chick so the hot chick feels? He won a fucking Nobel Prize for that I don't think that was the point hit on the 7 over the 10 was his big remember when he went crazy

in the movie yeah yeah well I think that if you just gave him acid he probably would have gone crazy too I think there's a lot of people well they say that acid does that if you have

mental it can definitely get to yeah yeah you can shake that shit loose yeah so can pot isn't that what the guy from the Beach Boys said happened he because he smoked so much pot

Which one the one that hung out with the Manson's cuz one of the boys Brian Wilson He hung out with the Manson's he's in the book a lot He's a lot in that book He had like a guru who was like his own personal like NXIVM guy for a while Oh, he said he smoked pot and wouldn't come out of his house I'm not surprised. Yeah, and he blamed marijuana. But yeah, marijuana is not like a panacea of medicine for all your problems.

Well, not only that, marijuana can fuck you up if you're not ready for it. It can, especially now. I don't know. I like to find good mids again. Remember mids? You don't know. I like to find good mids again. Yeah. Good mids. You don't want to get too deep sometimes. Like, I think in this podcast, there was many times where I don't know what we were talking about.

Yeah. Because I smoked a fucking blunt. By the way, it was to get at that tobacco in the leaf. Of course. You want it. Yeah. It's true. I was like, why don't I hit this blunt again?

That delicious tobacco. That sweet, sweet nicotine. Soothing me and celebrating no covid 19 yeah how uh how worried about you or uh are you how worried about all this are you is it something you get anxiety over you really just i mean i need those road dates to pay my rent so that's worrying yeah um but i'm not worried like the end of the world I mean I just don't even have that I wonder what's gonna happen in terms of like the restructuring of society

when things bounce back it's gonna be like China dude it'll be just like China a bunch of people it'll look like Naruto everybody's got a mask on like everybody's a ninja that's what I saw

a bunch of people in masks it'll look like Blade Runner kinda like it's just gonna be like that I'm worried about that that's not gonna be good for us well I mean hopefully it helps with this whole It looked like Blade Runner kind of. It's just going to be like that. I'm worried about that. That's not going to be good for us. Well, I mean, hopefully it helps with this whole COVID virus.

I hope it does help. I hope there's something better even. I hope there's some sort of medication comes out of this. Well, at a certain point, it'll be like- Like a Tamiflu. If it doesn't deliver on the amount of deaths that it's promised, then people, that's what people would be like, all right, come on. Yeah. No, I think you're right. Yeah.

I just wonder, I wonder how long that's going to take. Like seeing how Vegas wants to reopen, like, and then Anderson Cooper talking about it. Do you see their ads where they're like, hey, listen, Vegas, don't even worry about Vegas right now. You just quarantine. Vegas is still here. Yeah. They're still advertising. Like, don't forget worry about Vegas right now you just quarantine Vegas is still here they're still advertising like don't forget about Vegas I saw an ad like that

for a car that just showed an empty road don't even worry about driving stay home, dodge I despise ad people like whoever the Don Drapers are the same guy that made that Gillette ad no it was a chick an Australian

there's a whole new like crop of like young-ish you know kind of like feminist drivel but it's like in ads it's like you know woke ads yeah but it's that's how you know woke was going

because once it's commodified like hey kids you're woke right we're a corporation like now the corporation's had it's been dead for a fucking right it's commodified, like, hey, kids, you're woke, right? We're a corporation. Now the corporation, it's been dead for a fucking... Right. It's corporate-created punk rock. Yeah, it's horrid. That makes it gross. Like, when it was some granola kid spouting, it was more hilarious.

Yeah. Remember, like, everything you hear about colleges, like, ah, those kids. But a lot of them came out in the real world. What's interesting to me about the thing almost as much as the kids himself is the intelligent adults who should know better yeah well that's those kids to push the radical ideas because they thought of those kids almost like the soldiers in the forest far left yeah throw them onto the beach and they don't understand that they're the first ones to go they think that the people that think like that they have no idea they're more despised than

anybody on the right they hate a fucking john stewart era liberal more than any does it i mean they're calling boomers those are all gen xers they're not boomers but that's how the disdain yeah and the ones that are really forcing compliance they want to reshape the world they want to reshape the way people behave i know people personally that are like good friends that are like their feeling is like i just wanted to be like biden so like how oh like because it'll just then they're gonna calm down like no they're not gonna calm down because they got a little taste of power yeah they're gonna you never want full socialism people are gonna it's not like people it's kind of funny because a lot of them don't a lot of them are just like fucking silly upper upper middle class kind of twits that are pretending

that they're fucking so but they don't the first thing about it who's that guy that got the adpocalypse on fucking youtube from vox remember that yes yeah like that guy he's a rich kid it comes out he's a rich kid yeah so that's, he's a rich kid. Yeah. So that's who does, they're not really socialists. They like the feeling, they like the Che Guevara kind of t-shirt feeling they get. Yes. And then they also like the good life. Yes. That's why it's all silly kind of people.

The people I know that spout that shit, most of them have money. I've never, I can't think of anybody not doing it. Because they don't have real problems. Yeah. They think everyone's a bigot. Imagine, I mean, imagine caring about fucking, you see Joaquin Phoenix talking about dairy, like, can you just imagine bringing up milk, or like, charging on the, that's what I really knew Bernie was unfit to be president, when they took his mic twice, two elections.

Oh, the Black Lives Matter people took his mic? First those girls took his mic, then two white girls. You start letting, you let two black girls do it, guess what? Now white girls are gonna do it. Your president has to hold his mic. Yeah, you can't let him take your mic. Oh, was it, maybe it was something really important. To stop milk. Bro, how shit is his security?

You think, I mean, holy shit. How bad are they? How bad is his security? He should have had an all-female, you know like a slick motherfucker have a female defense force to fucking crack him in the head, to talk about milk, to run on, like, Bernie, stop the dairy. He's from fucking Vermont. He's not going to stop the dairy.

Are you fucking high? The land of cheese hippies? Dairy's going to be fine. Listen, up in Vermont, man, you need that cheese just to stay alive in the winter. Just imagine giving a shit about milk like that. Imagine thinking that you need to interrupt the president, a guy who you probably want to be president. You got to interrupt his

campaign speech to get your ideas across. I feel like you didn't get enough vitamin D milk as a kid to help you be balanced. Yeah, you got to eat meat. It's up there topless. By the way, don't do your message topless because I don't care what the message is. I'm just looking at your tits now. For sure.

It's not helping your... Yeah. If that is your argument about dairy, you might really just want everybody to see your tits. Yeah. That's probably what's going on. The older protester kept her shirt on. Right. Yeah.

She probably didn't even know that one was doing... Oh, we're doing tits. Great. She was probably in the moment. I just was thinking last night, maybe. She probably didn't even know that one was doing tits. Oh, we're doing tits. Great. She was probably like in the moment. Like, I just was thinking last night, maybe. She was like, how Ari Shafir would do it if he was always have a reason to take your shirt off. Yes. She Shafir'd it.

She Shafir'd it. Dude, it's already seven o'clock. Oh, shit. Really? Yeah. We flew by. Well, we got very high. We did get really high.

That was tremendous. That blunt, dude. I know. This is speed weed. Shout out we flew by. Well, we got very high. We did get really high. That was tremendous. That blunt, dude. I know. This is speed weed. Shout out to Gino. Oh yeah. I hope they make a comeback. Man, I miss that.

That's why I was doing my podcast. Yeah. Well, you know, we'll be, hopefully, be back in moving order soon. When? I don't know. But hopefully, everybody out there, thank you for listening. Yeah, thanks. Thank you for watching. Yeah. Thanks for watching.

Hope everybody's good. Oh wait, can I say my podcast? Oh yeah. And tell people your, uh, your Twitter and all that jazz. Yeah.

I'm on Instagram, Kurt Metzler comedy and, uh, my podcast, it can't get right on gas digital. And, uh, I'm doing these things with,

uh, Kyle Dunn ago. If you can go on Kyle Dunn again, Instagram, we're doing a, we're trying to make a sketch show out of it, but he's going to But he has a mailing list where you can get the info

when we set up a... It kind of got held up. Is it on his Instagram, the mailing list, or his website? It's on his website. Is that kyledunnigan.com? Hold on, I'll tell you. Let's see.

He didn't say his website. It's Kyle Dunnigan. Okay, he doesn't say it? Just a link to my website? If you his website it's Kyle Dunn again okay he doesn't say it just a link to my website if you go to his website if you know you know Kyle's shit he makes you google him but he really

when Bill Maher didn't know who he was that really set off a chain reaction did it oh yeah yeah that bit's hilarious

that video's hilarious alright that's it alright bye everybody thanks thank you dude that's it alright bye everybody thanks thank you that's fucking good