The Joe Rogan Experience - #1466 - Jessimae Peluso

Episode Date: April 29, 2020

Jessimae Peluso is a stand-up comedian and television personality. Check out her podcast called “Sharp Tongue" available on Spotify. @Jessimae Peluso

Three, two, one. Jessie Mae. Rogan. Good to see you. Joseph. Do people call you Joseph? My mom does. Oh, that's sweet.

Yeah. What's your middle name? She's basically James. Joseph James. Sounds like an author. Maybe I should write books. I can't believe you haven't written a book. I tried.

Started doing one a long time ago. I had a deal for a book like 12 years ago. And the dealing with the editors was so gross. They basically wanted me to just transcribe stand-up. And I wanted to write a bunch of weird shit. Didn't Judy Carter already do that? You remember the Judy? Do you remember that book?

Yeah. Is that the worst genre ever? Books on how to do stand-up? They might be the most piss poor books ever. Belzer had a pretty good one. Belzer had a decent one. I think it was, he had a couple of them. He had one on stand up and he had one on UFOs, Bigfoot, and JFK.

Belzer is a great. Those all go together. Do you know him, Richard Belzer? I don't know him personally, but I mean, he's a legend for sure. He's a crazy conspiracy theorist. That makes sense. Like off the deep end. Yeah.

Yeah. Is he like, rateom with Sam Tripoli? Is it just as crazy? No, maybe more. Wow. Yeah, he's I don't know if they believe in the same things. Because it's funny, there's like classifications of conspiracy theorists. Some conspiracy theorists are

balls deep in like JFK. You try to bring up 5G and they're like, get the fuck out of here with your 5G. So was Marilyn Monroe balls deep in JFK? Oh, yeah. It was a little sex joke. I mean, well the fuck out of here with your 5G. So was Marilyn Monroe? Balls deep in JFK. It was a little sex joke. I mean, well, I guess he was balls deep in her. But I mean, who knows? Who knows what they were into behind closed doors? She could have strapped one. That's a good

conspiracy theory, too. Do you think they killed her? Oh, yeah. 100%, right? Absolutely. Snitches, bitches get snitches. Is that what it is? There's snitches that happen with bitches. Snitches get stitches. Bitches who are snitches get stitches. Yeah, or no stitches because you're just dead. Yeah, you're dead.

You get the ultimate stitch of life, which is just done. For sure they killed her. So if you were going to write a book today, what would it be about? Oh, I don't know if I would do it today. I don't know. Maybe this is what I should be doing right now during this COVID time, but I'm using it as an excuse to, I don't know, just not, I'm not, I'm not working on standup at all. Wow.

First time in forever, no writing. I haven't written anything. Do you feel like it's relaxing or do you feel any anxiety about having that detached from your day-to-day routine? That's not the anxiety. The anxiety is the world. The anxiety is what's happening right now. General existentialism? Well, just the fact that the economy has come to a complete screeching halt and all these people are losing their jobs and all these people are losing

their businesses and we're not exactly sure what to do because there's the hardcore people that are like, fuck it, open it up, keep the women and the old people safe. You know what I mean? I know. You know what I mean? We're fucking fine. First of all, stop making us so weak, okay? Why are we grouped into old, haggard people?

I shouldn't have said women. What the fuck? I made that up. What people are saying is old people. No, but you're right. It is a thing. Well, you know, women and children first. Yeah, which we should be for sure.

Yeah, well, in the Titanic you were. Yeah, in the Titanic we were. It worked out. That's why everybody loves Leonardo DiCaprio because he died for her. Paint me like your little French girl. Yeah, but meanwhile, I'm like, can you both get on that fucking raft? I know. It's not that.

Just lie on top of each other. You're already making out. Picked his little frozen hands off and shoved them into the belly of the ocean. Get out of here, fucker. Get a sign on the paper first. Nice drawing. Yeah. You could write something about parenting.

I mean, it must be interesting for you to be raising daughters in this climate. Well, I think raising sons in this climate would be just as interesting and just as weird. Just raising humans in this climate, what no one's ever done before. Raising kids with full-time electronics and the internet from the time they're babies. You know, what the good stuff is, you can't bullshit people as much. You know, there's like access to information. Like we're trying to figure out today, just now, how many people died in the 1918 flu.

And you said it best. You're like, there's no unanswered questions anymore. You can't ponder. Yeah. Wondering and wonderment is a thing of the past. It's gone. It's still there, but you can get answers. You know, it's like you could search shit down

and get answers. But I didn't. So what was it? The number like 50 million died in the 1980s? That's that's I mean, that's a huge number. But the thing that we were talking about also is I guess I just don't understand. I understand that this disease has a lot of unknown factors, but there are so many other things that are detrimental to our society that it's wild that this it took this sort of situation to bring everything to a screeching halt globally.

It's a little scary. And it's scary that we're using so much resources to deal with it. I know we need to, but then, okay, after this, are we going to start to apply those resources to deal with, you know, child sex trafficking that happens in the country, to deal with homelessness, to deal with these other issues? trafficking that happens in the country to deal with homelessness, to deal with these other issues? Is this going to be a sort of Kickstarter to be like, okay, let's get our shit together as a global society instead of living in our own tribal existences, which doesn't work. It doesn't work anymore. Whoa.

I'm sorry. You made me smoke the blunt. Yeah, but you're right. You're right. Maybe that is what we'll do next. Maybe, listen, 500,000 people in this country alone die prematurely because of cigarettes. And we're just like, well, you know, whatever. Imagine if it was Kool-Aid.

If Kool-Aid was killing half a million a year. Well, Kool-Aid is. Imagine if Diet Coke. But it's not. Sugar kills a lot of fuckers. But yes, it does. It does. But not as clearly as cigarettes. Like, you can be healthy and occasionally enjoy Kool-Aid. I agree, but don't you think sugar is just as addictive as nicotine?

It's very addictive. You're right. I think if we look at it from a broader spectrum, they're both equally as bad and kill just as many people. But I see what you're saying. I don't think they kill as many because I think heart attacks is higher right now. I guess you would have to lump diabetes in there too, right?

You would, absolutely. So heart attacks, strokes, diabetes. Heart attacks. Heart attacks was number one until COVID. COVID took the number one spot on the chart. Coming in at number one, COVID-19. Coming in number 19, straight out of Wuhan. He's quick with the slips.

Killing bitches. And sneaky. Yeah, sneaky. Sneaky disease that kills healthy people, and then old people survive it like it's nothing, and then it kills an entire nursing home full of people, and then young people get it and die from it, and old people get it and brush it off, and some people have zero symptoms at all, as many as 50% or more. Yeah, it's wild.

It's like the crack of diseases. It's like the crack of diseases. It's like a bunch of diseases. It is. It does have a lot of characteristics of multiple diseases. And that's why, that's a scary factor for me. But I'm always grossed out. I mean, you and I travel. We used to. Yeah, we used to travel. Remember comedy? But are you enjoying the not

flying all the time? Fuck yeah! How good is it for your body? Dude, I feel like I look like 15 now. I'm like, oh, I'm chilling. I got my plumpness back. Sleep is amazing. I don't have to deal with farticles anymore and fucking airplanes.

Oh, God. Dude, I don't know what it is about flying. I'm sure it's the pressure and the pressurized cabin. People love to fart on airplanes. God, they let it rip on airplanes. That's COVID in my face. I'm fine with not dealing with the farts anymore. Imagine if it was killing people, if farts were killing people.

If a guy could fart on a plane and half the people on the plane died. You should have met my dad. A couple of those cookies would have ripped you right out of your seat. There's something about old man farts. Oh, they're great. They're legendary.

There's something funny about it. When you walk into a supermarket right behind an old guy who crop dusted you and you're like, you motherfucker. You're not even mad at him, though. You can't be mad at him. That fart went to Vietnam. That was a fart that maybe, you know, fought some wars. He deserves it. People that have been through war have got to be like, what are we doing?

You know what I mean? Like, if you've been through war and then everyone, shut the disease down. People are coughing. Wait. This is what we're worried about? Obviously, it's a terrible disease. I'm making light of it. But it's a terrible disease sometime, which is weird.

It's like, you know, car accidents are car accidents, right? Your car gets hit by a train. It's the same thing every time. Yeah, it's an isolated situation. But it's terrible every time. Every time. This is terrible, like a car by a train. It's the same thing every time. Yeah, it's an isolated situation. But it's terrible every time. Every time. This is terrible, like a car hitting a train sometimes. People just die.

And then for other people, it's literally nothing. Yeah, it's really wild. It's an inconsistent disease. And it's also, I just don't understand how much longer we're going to be shut down. I mean, the economy is struggling so much over this fucking disease. Not just struggling, like broken. Yes. Like they're going to have to rebuild it.

And it could take a long time. It scares me listening to these experts talk about it. What scares you the most about the current situation? Well, it's always going to be a new disease and loss of life. That's number one, right? So number one is we're all scared because this disease is super infectious. It's just running through like old folks homes. There was one old folks home, I believe they said 70 people died in this one old folks home. And that's terrible on another level because those people can't bury their family the way they need to or want to. The

grieving process is interrupted by the protocol. Yeah, you can't even visit them in the hospital. Yeah, that's really brutal. And for that fact, it makes me really sad for families that are losing loved ones like that, older people. That's why it's so crazy. It's almost like, and this is a ridiculous way to put it, but I'm going to do it anyway. Do it. If you were intact, if this country was attacked by an invasion of demons and they were all interconnected.

We did. It was the kardashians it already happened it was a fucking genocide for women sorry sorry continue you're making a good point that's what it would be like it's like some people don't even get haunted yeah some people some people just get a little bit of a demon. And then some people get the full wrath of Satan himself. That's a good point. I was reading about this guy who was on an incubator for more than 30 days. And it was a terrifying account of all.

It was in Massachusetts. All these different ways they were doing, different methods they were doing to try to revive this guy. And one thing it made me think is like, thank God there's people out there that can do this. ways they were doing different methods they were doing to try to revive this guy and two thing i made one thing it made me think is like thank god there's people out there that can do this that know how to how to keep a guy like this a lot yeah guy who was a young guy he was like in his late 30s i believe maybe 40s and he was uh married with little kids and you know it was a terrible story but they figured it out and they used some crazy machine that was bypassing his heart and his lungs. It had to go in through his leg and into a major artery, I think, or something like that.

And they had to keep him basically in a coma so that he doesn't move. Like an induced coma to keep him so he can heal? Yeah, and they're just trying to pump air into him. Oh, my God. It's terrifying. Yeah, that is my god it's terrifying yeah that is terrifying that's why this disease is so strange it is i i laugh because it's you made a good point about we're lucky to have people who know how to handle this i feel like that you know with social media and everything those jobs are not as appealing to people and who knows in like 50

years of another thing like this and we're lucky enough to be alive and it hits us, Instagram influencers aren't going to be able to intubate anybody. You know what I mean? Like the girl selling fit tea won't be able to help us. And imagine if your job was, if you thought your job was to help people, which is what most nurses and first responders, I mean, their job is, hey, you know, I'm going to do a good thing for the community. I'm going to do a good thing for the community. I'm going to do a good thing for people. I'm going to be there to help people when they're ill. I'm going to treat them. I'm going to help them survive and recover. That's a beautiful thing. But to go from that to all of a sudden you're on the front line of this infectious virus

war and you could get bit. You could get bit and there's not enough PPE in all these places and it's really scary. That's the scariest part. We don't even have the fucking equipment for these people. How is that possible? They have more equipment now than they ever had before, but they just never saw this coming. There was a pandemic department

apparently. What did we know about that? It was cancelled during the Trump administration? They cancelled the pandemic? I believe, yeah. What I read was that there was a team in place at the transition that since that time, which would have been three years ago by now, those people are no longer at the jobs that they had. So they would have probably had other positions maybe in the White House or other places. But does the actual position exist anymore?

I don't. From what I read, no. Or I don't even know if it was like an actual position. I think it was like a team. It's hard to not think about conspiracy when you hear that that team was just shut down. And that department was just shut down. And then this happens. I'm not a big conspiracy theorist, but I understand where people might go, wait a minute.

Hold on. I know what you're saying. Yeah, I don't think it's a conspiracy. I think it's incompetence. I think there's been scientists for years, even Bill Gates. Bill Gates in, I think it was 2015, a very famous, was it 2015? Did that TED talk? Oh yeah, that TED talk about saying how

it wasn't going to be like war. It was going to be about a microscopic war. Yeah. Which is what we're at right now. I've heard this from so many independent sources. I think that's exactly what it is really. I think they just didn't see it coming. And it's just incompetence. They didn't treat it with the respect that it deserved because it's not in their face. Yeah. Right. If you're if you're a person deciding what to spend money on and you're running something like the United States of America, there's some fucking wacky decisions you have to

make, you know, and someone, someone whoever it was made the call that we don't need that i mean i don't even know if that's true maybe the money was diverted or it was diverted into some sort of another program or something but they just didn't see it coming that's i guess it would be hard to see something like this coming and it's like preparing for the thing that you can't imagine would be hard to prepare for and it's it's going to be an interesting thing because like for our ability to look back at ancient civilizations, it's a little difficult because of the lack of technology available then to record incidents happening. But for us right now, this is all being recorded and maybe there'll be a differentiation in the advancements with technology.

But I wonder what future generations are going to know and decipher from this situation that we're in right now. Like, didn't they see that coming? You know, that sort of situation where they're like, how did they not see this happening? How did they not know this was going to happen? Because we have a really weird inability to pay attention to anything that doesn't affect us immediately. Yeah, that's strange. It's very strange. But it's a characteristic of human beings that's probably got some sort of evolutionary benefit.

Like, concentrate on what you're concentrating on. Don't see the big picture. Because if you see the big picture, you're going to go, why am I even bothering? I'm a finite life form on a planet with a dying star floating through infinity trying not to get eaten. Yeah, you're absolutely right. It's a survival mechanism. There's something about it. Like, your brain has too much ability to comprehend.

And if you comprehend everything, like just the nature of life itself, the fact that your body is this ecosystem with all this different stuff inside you. But because you collectively, like however they influence you, however your microbiome influences you, collectively are you. And you know that. You just assume that there's one. But meanwhile, it's this crazy fucking world. It is. It's all interconnected. It's all interconnected.

Do you ever talk to your cells? No. Do you? Is that weird? Do you talk to your cells? I do. I say that like in a sense of I thank my existence and my being for taking care of me. I express gratitude to myself on a microscopic level, on a molecular level.

Like talking to plants? I talk to my plants, yeah. They say that's real, right? If you play plants music, they actually grow better? I wonder if there's plants that like Cardi B. Or if it's all just like... Is that real? No, it's real, right? Like if you play plants music, they actually grow better. I wonder if there's plants that like Cardi B or if it's all just like, is that real? No, it's real. Yeah. But was there a study on that? Absolutely. That they grow more flourishly. They flourishly, is that a word? Uh, they, they flourish more with, with music and their growing process.

Have you ever been high in a grow up? I don't even know what you just said to me. High in a grow up, like a grow up where they're growing weed, walking through weed high. Oh, actually, yes, I take it back. My partner's grow-up. I was inside a little bit stoned. It feels nice. Yes. One of the earliest studies of the effect of music on plants was conducted in 1962 by Dr. T.C. Singh,

head of botany at Animalia University. botany and at uh animalia animalia university he exposed balsam plants to classical music and found that their growth rate increased by 20 compared to a control group along with 72 increase in biomass 72 increase in biomass from playing music but even at 20 that's a huge huge number and imagine like what that does to plants. I mean, we already know there's science that it helps fetuses and babies inside the womb to listen to classical music and things like that. So it's interesting. I wonder what the rate of helping a baby grow is, what the percentage is. No shit, right?

I wonder if you could play Beethoven for your kid when it's like a tiny little baby who's in the crib. What if it increases its intelligence? I wonder if it would. Do you think it would? I mean, for real, there'd be an exercise, right? Because the kid would be following along with these beats. So the thing to really complex classical music is like, look, I don't know about you, but I don't play shit.

I have zero musical talent at all. I have none. I mean, I can do like a finger flute. I love the fact that I don't know anything about how they do it. So I could just enjoy it. Like, just enjoy the music without thinking about the technical details of it. Yeah, it must be a little stressful if you know how it goes. Right, right, right.

To obsess over that, over the notes. Oh, yeah, it would be like us with comics. You're like, why the fuck did you do that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, right? Why would it go that way? Why would it go this way? Or you know what it'd be like? It would be like us if you're watching someone play a comic in a movie. Ugh. Right?

Yeah, you're like, you did it all wrong! Right, yeah. That was so terrible. So if you were a guitarist and then they're doing a movie on Hendrix, what are you going to do with the fingers? What are you going to do? Because you're not going to trick people. Flap them around aimlessly.

Yeah, you're not going to. You have to actually know how to play guitar if you want to play Hendrix in a movie. Am I right? I'm just laughing because like. Yes and no. You're right, but also so many people have such different technique

that you'd look at somebody and be like, that's not how you play that. But you hear it and it sounds exactly right. Yeah, because of the way they develop their dexterity. Let me give props to someone who faked it better than almost anybody. Will Smith when he played Muhammad. Let me give props to someone who faked it better than almost anybody. Will Smith when he played Muhammad Ali. I don't want to say faked it.

I would say acted his ass off. Impersonated. He became like a boxer. I've seen so many fights. When someone moves, you go, ah, come on with that. Oh, you're talking about the actual choreography of his movement. His movement. See, I never saw that movie, but I know it was a good one.

I thought you were going to say, because we're talking about music, like Jamie Foxx with Ray. But I know it was a good one I thought you were gonna say Like Cause we're talking about music Like Jamie Foxx with Ray But I don't know He's fantastic That guy can do anything

I know Jamie Foxx is amazing He's weirdly talented Yeah he is If you listen to his voice You're like Whoa you can do that too Yeah He is a very very talented dude

Very funny He did the cello thing too though Like he like Made you seem Made it seem like he would Learn Maybe he did But a master cello player in that movie with Robert Downey Jr. That's right.

The guy was homeless. I can't remember the name of it off the top of my head. We can Google it, Jamie. Yeah, but see, he can really do that. It's not like if someone asked me to play a guitarist. I don't know what you're supposed to do with your hand. It's going to be like, I don't know what to do with my hand. You ever see a movie where you could tell someone doesn't really smoke and they're smoking cigarettes in a movie, but it just looks so awkward in their hand?

I've heard actors talk about that too. Like they'll actually, if their character smokes cigarettes, they'll actually smoke cigarettes so that they can get comfortable with the fact they have a cigarette. And even then they feel like a fake. Well, I think because so much of our mechanism is dependent upon our personality type. You know it's not necessarily everyone Smokes a certain way. It's just like how do you stand like where are you are you leaning or how do you eat? You know posture it's gonna affect the way you do things There's a thing that you can see in someone that's doing something awkward There's a weird thing if they're not really good at it

And it's like I got play pool and when you watch someone play pool in a movie and he's supposed to be an amazing pool player they're like bitch get the fuck out of here this guy's doing everything wrong everything's all clunky like yeah that guy can't play you like that Martin Scorsese seconds which one the hustler no with them with color money color money yeah the classic amazing pool movie yeah that's amazing moving that's an amazing movie. That's an amazing movie. That's actually the sequel to The Hustler.

Oh. Yeah, The Hustler. I've read the books. The really book. I forget. Who's the author? I forget the author. You read a lot.

When did you have time before? I don't read much anymore. Mostly what I do is listen to books on tape. Is that considered reading? I mean, you must. That's a good question. Donnell Rawlings says no. Donnell, I know he's such a hater.

You listen. You listen and you say you read. And Ari Shaffir said the same thing too. Ari Shaffir wrote on my Instagram something, some fucking comment. Books don't have tracks or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's funny. But I mean, if you're in school and you're getting a lecture, you're learning.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, it's not the same. But I can do it when I work out. So I can listen to books while I work out. Do you think you retain information better when you're working out and doing physical, exerting things, physically exerting things? No, I think you retain the most information when you're sitting there concentrating on retaining information.

Right. You retain less, but you could still do it. You seem really able to acquire and retain a lot of information. It's scattered, though. It's like I have all my hard drives are fucked up. Are you running on an old Dell processor? I have a chimpanzee's brain. A chimpanzee?

I'm supposed to have a few categories of things that I concentrate on. That's what my brain's designed for. But I've taken it like if you're trying to put a big engine in a Volkswagen bug. I'm just cramming information instead of horsepower. I'm trying to cram information in his chimp brain. Do you get headaches from it? Oh, every day. No, I'm lucky I don't get headaches.

I've had friends that have had migraines, and it seems like probably one of the most disturbing things you can experience. Yeah, there's so many other physical symptoms that are associated with migraines that just the migraine itself, everything else seems so much worse. I've had friends that say it's like literally like their head's in a vice, and it'll last for an hour. Yeah, that's brutal. Do you have any like physical issues? I know you have like a joint issue or a bad knee or something.

I've always got something wrong. From fighting? Yeah, there's always something wrong. Is there anything congenital? No, no, nothing. No, everything was just from use and abuse. But I'm 52, and for most guys that are 52 that still get involved in jiu-jitsu, they've got a bunch of surgeries.

Most guys have back surgery or shoulder surgery or knee surgery. Almost every guy that I know that gets into like his 40s and 50s from jujitsu. Is it like a midlife crisis choice where you're just like, I got to try this thing and challenge myself. I'm a man. I got to get in the ring. You could use it that way, but it's more like a life challenge. The way I look at it, it's like a really difficult thing to do. And in doing really difficult things, it increases your capacity to do other things.

And it also occupies your mind with real drama. It's really dangerous. What do you mean by real drama? It's really dangerous. I mean, it's not dangerous in the fact that you're going to get hurt. You might get hurt, but most of the time when you train, you don't. But I mean, it's dangerous in that fact that you're gonna get hurt you might get hurt but it's most most of the time we train you don't but I mean it's dangerous in that this guy's trying to kill you he will tap you out you'll tap and you'll give up and then you go again you're not gonna die you're not gonna get hurt but the reality is he could have killed you if somebody

gets you in an armbar they're going to break your fucking arm if they get you in a triangle they're gonna put you to sleep and strangle you to death are you flirting that's that sounds great my point jesse may is that when you do that it makes other things easier i get it it's trivial yeah they're the people that get good at jujitsu men and women they have a tolerance for the hardships of life that's built into them from training sessions that other people don't have when you're constantly you're a woman you're constantly grappling with this other bitches is trying to kill you you're good friends and they're getting on top of you and she's trying to strangle you she's trying to get you in the rear naked choke you know like not

today motherfucker and you're you're doing this all the time like regular nonsense out in the street yeah it must be a great way to focus your stresses and angers in your everyday existence and sort of funnel them into this. Instead of that, I think it avoids a lot of the anger. I think a lot of like frustration that a lot of people have, the tension is like built up energy that they need to expand. They need to expel. They need to get it out of their system.

And they don't get a chance to. They're stuck in offices. They're stuck in their car. They're stuck at home. Wherever they are. I don't know if it's not they don't get a chance to. They don't decide to implement it into their life somehow. Because there's a choice to make. And I realize there are limitations to people's lives in certain situations, but it's a choice

to implement something like this where you can deal with your anger. For sure. I mean, anger is necessary. Here's why it's a weird choice. It is a choice. But, you know, it's not normal or healthy to sit in a chair all day. No, it's not. And everybody's being forced to do that. And it is a weird thing to decide that we got to do.

I mean, that's why there's so many suicides in Chinese culture, isn't that? Like in Japanese cultures, too. It's crazy hours, too, right? Yeah, but they're sitting in a desk all day long, jumping out of their windows because of the stress of the work week. Imagine the feeling when you make that jump. You probably regret it. Fuck this job.

There's no way each time you're like, this is a good choice. Each time. Milk was a bad choice and so was jumping out of the window boy that's a crazy way to go it is but how crazy is that foxconn place where they make the iphone so they had to put nets around it because so many people were jumping i mean at least they're evolving you know would be fun if they put a trampoline then you can just kind of jump around and deal with your emotions and that you're like i guess it was a good thing that i didn't do it that i didn't die they have dorms there and everything.

Why can't we make an American cell phone? Is that impossible? No, it's not. Or would we have to pollute everything? There's a thing that's like, no bullshit. Like, no bullshit. I don't know why everything gets made over there other than cheap labor. That's why it is.

But the other question could be, is it also because they don't have the same environmental concerns? Oh, wow. And I know that if you're in some of those cities, the smog is fucking insane, right? Some of the worst air conditions in the world you'll experience in these cities where they make all this shit. Yeah, they don't give a fuck about nature. Here's the deal. Can we even have all the stuff we have over here and make it over here? And not have all that waste?

And not pollute the world? Can I ask you a question? Sure, but we should answer that one first. Oh, yeah, we should answer that. Let's figure out if this is true. Does this make any sense? It does. It does make sense.

But don't you think we make too much shit? Do we need a new car every year? No, we don't need a new phone every year either. We don't need new shit every year. You talk about the waste that it's producing. I got an iPhone 11 and you could have this for five years. If this is all I could do on the phone is

call and make pictures and fucking shit that you do normally and send text messages. Why do I need do I really need something better than this? Right. Why do we need a new one? Keep making this. Just keep making this. Right. I think we're producing too much. We're going to be intertwined with this thing.

Fuck yeah. We were talking about that app, about the tracking, the COVID tracking. Which is just, it sounds scary to me. Get the fuck out of here with that. That's some NSA shit. That's really scary. They're going to keep going. This is what things do. It's your job to try to do something like this, to try to implement something where you can get people to agree to tracking.

If it's your job to do that, you're going to keep going. Yes, you are. Once you get that tracking, then you're going to want some new shit. Then you want cameras in front of people's houses to see if they really are quarantining. You know they're doing that in China. Yes. This guy just got back from a trip in China. They gave him a 14 14 day quarantine and they put

a fucking camera right in front of his door. That's weird. He's like whoa like you're not going anywhere for 14 days and we're watching you. It's also strange for people in politics to encourage society to snitch on people. That's weird. That's a level of tracking.

That's our mayor. I know but don't you think that's fucking weird and wrong? It's weird and wrong's a level of tracking. That's our mayor. I know, but don't you think that's fucking weird and wrong? It's weird and wrong, but it's even worse if you're offering rewards. That's right. If you're saying, you know, usually snitches get stitches, but this one, they get rewards. You guys are going to get riches. You know what it is, Joe? Honestly, it's a behavior change.

It's a weird step towards this tracking system that's going to be implemented that they're starting to be like, oh, it's okay. We're going to reinforce you guys being stitches. It's snitches. It's fine. Here's a little treat for you. Here's 500 bucks for letting me know that Karen was out not doing the proper protocol. Here's $500 for letting me know that Karen was out not doing the proper protocol. Meanwhile, there have been that many deaths, like, relatively to what they thought they were going to be.

And so that means this is a success. So that means the way it's being implemented so far has been a success. Like, you're going to get more aggressive with it, even though the numbers are way lower than we thought they were going to be. What are we doing, George? We're doing the right thing. understand that it's hard for people if just you know keep an eye on each other don't let people do stupid shit you shouldn't have fucking parties but you also shouldn't give people rewards to snitch no that's not helping i saw a house party the other day where people had masks on so someone put it up on their instagram i'm like this is crazy might have been little duval little duval has the best, he's the best

Instagram follow out there. It's so good. And he posts all day long. He's just getting high and posting. Lil Duval posts the funniest shit. He posts the funniest shit. He really does. That house party was packed. Yeah, it was a packed house party. I think it said something like, if these

people ain't dead in 14 days, I'm gonna go out. But also, like... People are partying with masks on. They're partying in my apartment as well. Not where I personally live, but the building. People have been having house parties. Having them.

Chilling. I hear there's Cards Against Humanity happening a lot. It's wild. Did you see the beach? There it is right there. Look at it! Look at the dude with the mask! If don't nobody from this house party dive 14 days, I'm going outside.

And also, why is it so bright? It looks more like a meeting that just led out in a business. Maybe it is. Maybe this is bullshit. That's the thing. Or maybe someone turned the lights on out in a business. Where are they? But maybe it is. Maybe this is bullshit. That's the thing. Or maybe someone turned the lights on and take a picture.

How do we know these photos? So many photos are doctored. Like you talked about the picture from the beach. How do we even know what date that's from? I'm sure a lot of these things you can sort of track, but then they posted a picture about, you know, the anti-stay-home protesters. It was a photo from like an election from 2011. One thing I saw.

I think that's just lazy journalism. They're just clickbait people. But that's interesting. Did you see the deep fake of Biden's tongue? Did you see that? No, it sounds like a porno category. There's a crazy deep fake where they took Biden, his thing where he's doing this press conference, and they made him move his eyebrows and stick his tongue out in this really wacky way.

And when I saw it, I was like, is he really doing that? And I'm like, I don't know if this is really not. So I think I retweeted it. I'm like, what is this? I just sent it out there to the universe. Somebody tell me what this is. Yeah. And then someone wrote a thing about this deep fake.

What did it say? Was the article like the beginning to the end of democracy or something like that? But it's really – do you want me to send it to you? No, no. Sorry. I found it. I'm looking at – I guess calling it a deep fake might be mis – It's not a deep fake?

It's not misleading, but yeah, it's not technically a deep fake, but it's not accurate either. It's like manipulation. But did it really happen? But he didn't really open his tongue like that, right? Yeah, I think what this is saying

is that he opened his tongue like that, but there's some app you can use to do the rest of the manipulation. He opened his tongue like a normal open?

What is that? Can you show Jesse May? I was trying to read through it so I could explain it at the same time. Jessie Mae doesn't know what we're talking about.

There's a picture like that. I can't deal with it. That's a real picture? I think this picture is real. That looks like every housewife in

Bel Air by the way. Yeah by the time they hit 70. Yeah they're hanging on to it. This article's on Vice where it says it's not everything

is a deep fake. For the love of God not everything is a deep fake. What a great title God, not everything is a deep fake. What a great title for an article. Sloppy Joe is trending? Wow. See, I think it actually got taken down off Twitter.

Oh. Didn't, so Trump retweeted that? Did he retweet? Trump, yesterday, retweeted his own tweet. I know. Where are we? Like, what is life right now? See, what people want from him is for him to be like his fans.

They want him to be this boss guy that doesn't make dumb mistakes. I mean. But like, if you say something stupid, that's one thing. But if you say something stupid and then try to pretend you didn't say something stupid, now you've doubled down. Are you talking about when he told everybody to boof bleach? Yeah, well he said maybe there was a way to use disinfectant. Now here's what's interesting.

It's clearly not he's not being sarcastic, but then he said he was saying it's sarcastic just to your reporters. He's so embattled with the reporters. It's like I've never seen anything like it. He's embattled with his ego. His ego is the first thing he's embattled with the reporters. It's like I've never seen anything like it. He's embattled with his ego. His ego is the first thing he's embattled with. And any time that's threatened, he can't.

He focuses on that. He's so focused on his sensitive ego that everything else falls to the wayside, like just running the country. He's like, I'm busy tweeting my haters right now. I'm busy tweeting trolls for hours. Can you imagine him? What is he wearing? Is he in bed in sweatpants? I hope he's naked.

I hope he's in the steam room and he keeps blowing out his iPhones. They keep giving him, get me a new one. They get him a new one. He's just in there in the steam room. With his belly hanging out.

Talking shit about Putin. Fucking Putin. Whatever. Talking shit about China. Fucking Putin. Whatever. Talking shit about China and everything. I don't know. I think that guy, I bet he could have never imagined what it was going to be like to have that job, to be hated that way. No, I think he wasn't able to put himself in a category of ever being hated. But that seems to be his biggest downfall and his

biggest insecurity is what people think of him. But when you're living in conflict, right? So he's in this constant conflict with the press and the reporters when he gives those speeches. When you're living in conflict like that, you're always at like seven. You're always on edge. You can't take things from a neutral place you take things you're they're always a bigger affront than they really are the perspective is always off because you're like stuck in conflict it's actually like happens to people's when you if you grow up in bad neighborhoods if you grow up in back bad neighborhoods is uh and they've even said that they've done studies michael irvin actually talked to me about this once on a plane flight from Australia and explained to me that kids that grow up and they're born when their

mother is going through extreme stress, like the mother lives in a very violent neighborhood and there's violence in the house and things like that. The kid in the womb, it changes the way the kid will approach life. That's what I was saying to you before. I was wondering, like a stressful, like living in a stressful environment having an effect on the development of the child. I'm sure it will, but I mean this is literally changing the wiring in the brain

while she's pregnant with him. Right. Like it's happening because of the outside world. It's like changing the baby, changing the behavior. Make it apparently a much quicker ability to react or instinct to react like constant survival on edge being on edge i think that's definitely also consistent with you know having a rough childhood or traumatic experience i definitely went through that experiencing things

you know as a girl that made me reactive to men until I learned how to like narrow it down to this one instance and deal with it. It's interesting like how you're able to overcome trauma with therapy and behavioral changes. But I think it comes down to that, like having traumatic things will always sort of negate, I'm sorry, will always sort of dictate how you react to things. Trauma drives the ship for so long until you deal with it and have some sort of therapy. And even then, sometimes it's difficult to overcome your instinctual response, which is based off of that sort of, you know, that experience of stress being influencing how you react.

You know what you were talking about earlier? We were talking about what kind of an effect is this disease going to have on people? Yeah. Well, I'm hoping that it's going to have an effect on shifting in a way where we understand how good we had it and how recent this is that people have had it good. I think one of the reasons why we're so quick to react to things, like why a child in the womb would be quick to react and tend to be more violent or react quicker to

violence. Or be defensive. Because it needed it for survival up until about four or five hundred years ago, everything was a bloodbath. Fuck yeah. We've had it good. We've had it real fucking good so i mean we have all of our needs are instantly met and then because of that our needs grow

because we need more like oh this iphone 11 isn't good enough i need an iphone 24 we also find more things to complain about we find more things to be bitter about but less things to be thankful of like i think if anything i hope that when we come back from this other than the fact that i hope people get their lives in order because i hope that we get this understanding of how temporary all of this really is yeah and how we just thought because just it existed because it had always been here it always will be here like this is fragile this is fragile Barrier Reef, which we fucking killed with hairspray. Fuck, we fucked that up. We killed it with hairspray. That shit's fishing line and hairspray and suntan lotion. It's like, fuck you.

We haven't put enough effort into educating ourselves about the things we're consuming, the products we're buying, and the people we're surrounding ourselves with. We sort of had this reckless, abandoned approach to existence, and I agree with what you're saying. I think, hopefully, I thought about this yesterday when I was high on a walk yesterday with my dogs. Oh, shit. Where I hope, and one thing that I've gotten from this is a humility about existence,

a humility about being a human and all of the things that we get in just this society, but also in everyday life, our needs have exceeded what we really need to exist. And our wants are beyond what we really need on a day-to-day basis. It's greedy. It's so fucking greedy, and it's not serving. It's not serving the community. It's a trick, too.

You're tricked into working harder and wanting more, and it's a trap. Working hard for some dude you don't know, that cliche thing where you're making money. Job you hate. To get in a car to drive to a house you can't afford, to be in a marriage that you haven't put any effort into. And to put the TV on.

To put the food that's not good for you in your belly. And rinse and repeat. The dog's a cunt. The dog's a cunt. The goldfish is dead. The dog's not the cunt. Usually it's a spouse. The dog's the saving grace.

Sometimes you can get a fucking rescue dog that's a little bit of a cunt. Yeah, but you can change that with behavioral training. It's the same thing as people. You rescue people. Yeah, but you can change that with behavioral training. It's the same thing as people. You get rescue people. Yeah, but you can't talk to them. Dogs are just, like, it takes too much time. Yeah, it does take a lot of time to train them. But it is possible. With their puppies, it's easy. It is easy when they're puppies. You can start

from the behavioral, you know, from the ground zero with their behavior, but... I know you're a big dog freak, though. You must have had, like, one or two dogs you've adopted. You're like, oh, Jesus, what kind of project did I take on yeah it definitely has been a i have one my pit bull my pit boxer mix he's been a a journey i've had him for like nine years and when i got him i got him in brooklyn in this shelter and it was like a bully breed shelter you know pits and dobermans and german shepherds and all the dogs that people are kind of scared of.

And there was like three rows of cages that wrapped around this room and they were all stacked on top of each other. And I just put my hand up against each cage just to see how the dog would react in this stressful talking about being inside of a baby being in a womb while the mother's stressful. This is a similar scenario where these dogs are in this room and it's stressful and they're all barking. So I just put my hand outside of each one just to see their reactions. And Carlin was the only one who, when I put my hand in front of his cage, he didn't meet me with aggression. He turned around and showed me his butt and he let me scratch it. I'm like, this is my dude right here.

But to that point, the dog's behavior, I'm sure you know this, in a shelter is not reflective upon how his behavior will be or what the female dogs will be so it took years of training six years so much money here's a good question why is it so fucked up why do we feel so bad about that happening to dogs but we don't feel that same way about it happening to people. I think people do, but it's also about your personal experience. And maybe some people don't feel like they have the means or resources or the ability to start to help those other areas. You know what I mean? Maybe they don't know how to begin to help, like we were

talking about before, causes that deal with child sex trafficking, or they don't know how to start, you know, where do they start to help homeless people and things like that. I think the dog situation is an easier step to feeling like you're contributing a little bit. I know for me, like, that whole thing changed because, you know, feeling like I wanted to help and give back more and finding purpose. I think it's important in life to find purpose. And maybe that's one of the things that you're talking about. Like after my dad passed away, I felt like I wanted to have more purpose because it made me realize the value of life and what this is all about. And it's not about what can I get?

It's what can I give? all about. And it's not about what can I get? It's what can I give? And so I did research into Alzheimer's and did research into how could I become an advocate and ways that I could inspire and help other people that are dealing with the disease. And it's really a statement on turning pain into purpose. And I think that people who get dogs, maybe they don't have a big enough purpose yet. Does that answer the question? Well. Do they go too deep? Maybe you just like dogs.

I love dogs. It doesn't have to be so crazy. Well, you know, I know you like to go into the darkness. The darkness. Yeah. Yeah. No, there's, dogs are like little love dispensers. They're great. They're pure love. Yeah. No, there's dogs are like little love dispensers. They're great. They're pure love.

Yeah. They only function on love and immediate, you know, gratitude. They just want to lick your face. I mean, my dog crapped on my carpet last night, but that's okay. I'm not taking it personally. The problem with dogs, I mean, the pound dogs at least, is that sometimes, you know, they're in for too long or they're just habituated to it. It's just,

they're scared. They went there because they were abused. It takes a lot of effort. But isn't it crazy that we don't think the same way about people? It is. It's fucked up. People that are in prison for stealing something. We're like,

fuck them. Keep them in the cage. Like there's something about like, how many people really should be in prison? How many people really, I mean, really, really should be in prison? How many people really should be in prison? A fraction of what we have. There's people in there that don't deserve it, and it's definitely a systemic issue for sure. And it's almost like a caste issue when it comes to how much money you have. It's definitely a financial issue, too.

How about non-violent drug offenders right think about that non-violent drug offenders what do they do they take them lock them in a cage but if you're an opiate distributor if you're if you're a rapist no no i'm saying if you're like a pill company like oxycontin you know what you do you just get money yeah you just get money you you you kill how many million people die every year from Oxycontins? I mean, what is the worldwide opiate death? Is it over 100,000? In this country, I don't think it's quite 100,000 a year.

75,000? It's a fraction of cigarettes, which is really crazy. It's a fraction. Cigarettes are so bad. They're so, so bad. they're the worst but i get what you're saying it's definitely uh you know it's you know you're pumping pharmaceuticals and that's okay but people who are in jail because of marijuana yeah it's fucking ridiculous some of it's just possession in some states yeah just having it on you having a couple ounces cdc's

response to the opioid overdose epidemic in 2017, more than 70,000 people died from drug overdoses, making it a leading cause of injury-related death in the United States. Out of those deaths, almost 68% involved a prescription or illicit opioid. And a lot of these people who

get onto opioids, they never did drugs before. That's not a word I say with confidence. Opioid. Opioid. It's a tough one. It's a weird... When I'm saying it, I'm like with confidence. Opioid. Opioid. It's a tough one. It's a weird. When I'm saying it, I'm like, are you saying that right? Opioid. It's a weird word. It's fucking up the rest of my words. Because it was like opiates. I could say that. Opioid. An illicit opioid together

is a tough grouping. There's so many people dying of that stuff. And those are legal. That's legally prescribed. We're talking about a quote unquote legal drug that is on the market. Yeah. And they try to give it to you, too. I had my nose fixed.

I had a deviated septum, and they put this thing in my nose and cut out all the scar tissue. It was really bad. Like, I was listening to myself talk from, like, 30, 20-something years ago. And I was like, God, I'm so nasally. And I realized that's what it was. Like my nose didn't work. It was useless. I had like one quarter of one nostril

that I could get air out of. The rest was all smashed up. So they fixed it, but it really didn't hurt. And I'm not trying to be a tough guy. It really didn't hurt. It just didn't hurt. Like after it was over, it was like, yeah, my nose is a little numb,

but I'm not like, ah, I'm in pain. It's like, it certainly hurts, but it's not it's like yeah my nose is a little numb but i'm not like ah i'm in pain it's like it certainly hurts but it's not like i need a drug and the guy offered me two different kinds of pills he offered me like vicodin and and percocets or one of those fucking things one of them was hardcore whichever one it was i was like jesus man don't they get i mean they used to get you know perks for prescribing and they would get perks for how much they prescribed out to people. It must be. It must be. And there was that whole pain management system that was implemented into our hospitals is also based off of being able to prescribe opioids. And companies were giving kickbacks to hospitals based off of their level of pain.

Like if you had higher pain, you would get money because that would equal dollars on the pharmaceutical side of you prescribing the drug. Really? Yeah, I mean I read an article. As long as you got a citation, you could pull that article up. Allegedly, but I did read that.

God, it's crazy. The doctor didn't, I mean he was like trying to, he wasn't just encouraging me he was pushing these things he's like you're gonna need this and i was like man everybody told me like oh my god it's the worst things ever and apparently uh used to be that they would pack your nose up with gauze and then when they pulled the gauze out at the end of like a week or so it was like really painful but now they don't even do that they have like these nose tampons and they just slide right into place and they come out after a week or whatever the fuck it was where i had to keep it

in my nose to keep everything open after the surgery but it was nothing and this guy was like you need pills you need i'm like i'm telling you it was nothing like it was over i was like it doesn't feel good but it's not it doesn't hurt was he trying to michael jackson you was this was this i just think they do that with everybody everybody. They don't want to hear you bullshit about pain. They don't want to hear you whine either. It's a drive-thru. Doctor, my knee is killing me. What to do?

Take those pills I gave you, stupid. I feel like a lot of the medical, let me rephrase that. There are some medical professionals because I do think that it's an amazing profession. Like you said earlier, how lucky we are to have these people who want to help people as a profession. Yes. But there are doctors who are lazy and there are doctors who aren't furthering their education. It's like they go to college and then they become a doctor and they get that stamp and that label and then that's it. They don't continue to read and evolve because information is evolving every day.

I mean, look at this COVID crisis. Something new is coming about every single day. And it was really apparent when my mother, she was sick. She had an issue with her heart. And she went into the doctor. And then immediately the doctor wants to put her on a bunch of medication. Not once did the doctor ask her about her exercise. Not once did the doctor ask about how she eats and what her history was with nutrition.

asked about how she eats and what her history was with nutrition didn't even offer like a um an alternate way for her to eat to sort of build her heart strength from within just wants to put her right on medication and to me that's a big issue with our medical professionals these days they're just lazy well there's it may be a little bit of that but also it's like that you can do you can get a person on medication but trying to get a person to get their shit together is fucking way too hard it is way too hard especially if someone's coming to you with like health issues you can look at them and go hey man you gotta get your shit together you're gonna fucking die stop eating twinkies stop drinking soda all day come on i would rather that but you can't do that they're not they're not going to.

First of all, they probably won't listen. They'll get mad at you. Say you're fat and fat shaming them. You can't tell someone that they have to get their shit together and then boom, they get their shit together. It's like a long process. And they have to be fully on board. I agree with that. I just think it goes further to the doctors being not having the care or whatever it is to to at

least provide a little bit of information but i think to be a doctor to give like a really good holistic approach like a holistic response like let's take care of your whole body let's not think about this injury let's think about your whole body why did this injury happen why do you get sick why you know what what's going on and what can we strengthen let's take a look at your nutrition let's take a look at your lifestyle let's take a look at the amount of sleep you get but no one has time for that i don't know no one has time for that that's the problem like to be a doctor like that is really fucking time consuming and these doctors are fucking pumping people in and out of their office they're dealing with insurance and malpractice lawsuits and it's a business it's a crazy business and they're still in hock for the fucking student loans they got to go to medical school.

Yeah, they still have to pay their student loans. It's so fucked up. Shout out to my friend Steve Graham. He was fucking struggling with his student loans until he was like well into his adulthood. He was an ophthalmologist. And for him, it was just like a catastrophic amount of money that you have to spend to go to school. That's so unfortunate.

It really is. It really unfortunate. It's crazy. It really is. It's crazy. You send them out of the gate with an incentive to do more surgery because they're all broke. And they're on debt. They're in debt. In a big way. Hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Imagine you've got to catch up to hundreds of thousands of dollars you spent. And you've got a wife and a kid or a husband and a kid. Oh, Jesus, Jessie Mae. It's so stressful. And then be able to operate or prescribe or to be present and to be on the front lines. Today. But I mean a lot of that is

the breakdown in the overall system. The overall, you know, healthcare system is completely, it's so disjointed from really keeping people healthy. I know because it's a business and maybe it's my hippie heart, but isn't there some way we could shake the shit up so that at least it's starting to give people information,

knowledge, and tools so that they can have somewhat of a healthier existence? The problem is people are a lot like dogs in some ways. It's very difficult to learn the bad lessons that you learned when you were young. You get a dog from the pound and their life was fucked up and they're all sketchy. That's the same thing with human beings. And it's also the same thing with diet.

Like when people get on a certain diet when they're really young and their parents are on this shitty diet, it's fucking hard for you to get them off of that. It's ingrained. It's a part of their genetics. All animals, whether it's humans or dogs or anything, they seem to get trained by their environment. And then once they're trained, once they've sort of adapted to their environment and in whatever way they had to, it's really hard to get them to shift. It's really hard to get them to change. It's that reinforcement. It's like behavior and reinforcement. Like you have to almost take it upon yourself to recognize why you're doing something and what is it that's reinforcing you to do it.

And that takes a lot of self-awareness and self-work to go, oh, I'm doing this, you know, you know, for for a lot of girls that I know. I mean, because I have a huge female fan base when I do Dr. Peluso on Mondays. Thanks to you. I'm a doctor, I answer questions for everybody. And sometimes they're medical and I'll Google and try and give a little bit of information. But a lot of times it's girls like, this guy is such a jerk and should I text him back? And you're allowing the assholes into your life to satisfy that void inside of you. You know, you're sort of allowing that behavior because the negative effect that you have is like that reinforcement and just brings you back into that cycle of trauma and abuse that you experienced before. Dude, that's very deep. I feel like I can get deep here with you, Joe, and you won't judge me.

No, I don't judge you at all. And as a father of daughters, that's why I say like, do you feel a certain way about raising daughters in this climate? Because that's my experience and I know what it's like. I'm a very hopeful person and my hope, not just for my daughters, not just for everyone in this room, but for everybody is that all this stuff is a wake up call for us. And I think that when we're talking about these deeply ingrained patterns of behavior that people get into and that we need to, you know, especially with healthcare, but also with education, all the things that you need to keep your body healthy and to allow

you to advance in life, to give you a chance in life, to be in a place that's crime-free, to have nutrition and to have, and to have education. If we could give that to everybody. Like I've always said, if we really wanted to make this the best country ever, what would be the first thing you would do? You'd say, well, we need to have less losers. We need to have, I don't mean losers like, you know, they're weak. I mean like they got dealt the wrong hand. You got born into a terrible neighborhood that's crime-ested and it's been this way for decades and no one's going to change it and there's just gangs and drugs.

You can't say that someone who's born in that neighborhood has the same starting line as someone who's born in Bel Air. It's crazy to say. I agree. Right. So we got to figure out how to have more people have more of a chance. And instead of thinking that it's all for us, you know, like the people that do well, like whether it's through Wall Street or business, instead of like continually chasing more and more money, maybe something like this would make us say like, gotta reinvest in bringing everybody up and then

there'll be more competition which would be better for everybody because you have more people that are striving to get better and people push you they push you people that are good push you and you become better because of them like it's iron sharpens iron it's in the bible you need it you keep moving and then we could or another make things at least slightly more even. Because it's not like you can't fix it. It's a huge disparity, though. But it's not like these crime-ridden, like, this is just what it is. No, there's no solution. We've put all the mathematicians and all the social engineers, and we can't fix it.

The education aspect is a huge, huge issue, like the access to education. Access to safety. Yeah, you're absolutely right. And then healthy food. And then understanding the choices, like why you want to eat healthy food and what's the difference. And educate people. Just educate people on that. How many people grow up and they don't even know that drinking all that sugar or eating all that sugar is going to fuck you up long term?

Well, it goes back to what you were saying about the parental influence you know it's just it's ingrained in who you are yeah you know it becomes that that sort of vicious cycle of rinse and repeat you know how you how you eat how you live it's it's it's definitely an issue but there is something to say about people who experience severe trauma and they live in bad neighborhoods where they go the complete opposite route you know sure both of us i mean look at comedians yes i mean that's born out of a seed of trauma and you know there's a lot of amazing businessmen and women who achieved what they achieved because of the disparity they experienced in their childhood so there is something to the the dichotomy of the journey

from experiencing the trauma to achieving success, but I do agree everyone needs to be lifted up so that the whole community can experience the benefit of that. The thing about this COVID that makes me scared on a level, like on a little bit of a level, is desperate people do really bad things. Yes. Because they need things for their family to survive.

And I'm not saying that's where we're at right now. It could have gone that route. But imagine having people with access to safety and education and food. Everyone would chill the fuck out a bit. Right. Because you wouldn't be worried about survival. No. But still, you know, this is a, there's so many things that are fucked up about this,

right? That we've never had this happen in our lifetimes, hasn't happened in a hundred years. There's so many things that are fucked up about this. But the repercussions, we've got to be real careful about how we manage the repercussions of starting everything back up, the economy, starting it. What do you think is going to be, what do you think one of the first issues is with opening things back up that we're going to experience?

Restaurants, comedy shows, like that kind of shit. Yeah. Where people gather. Movie theaters are probably fucked, right? Are you saying about the reinfection and the re... I think they're going to be scared to, people are going to be scared to go. They're not going to want anybody sitting

like right next to each other in the movie theater like it used to be. So there are probably multiple seats that are open. So the movie theaters won't make nearly as much money. Probably cut their, I mean, who knows, maybe even more than in half. Yeah. Right? There's going to be a lot of people that are scared to go to the movies. And now they also set a precedent where you can watch movies on Apple TV.

It's not the same. I miss going to movies. And I know that's such a self-serving desire and want, and it's not necessary, but I fucking miss it. I miss going to the movies. It's not the same watching them at home. You know what never happens at home? No one ever talks at home. Yeah.

There's not two people in front of you having a conversation. What do you think he's going to do with that? I yell at those people. Those fucking people. I'm an asshole. But that's the problem with going to the movies. Like, you can't, like, if you go, look, if you get lucky, you go to the movies and there's a hundred cool people in there, you have a great time.

I've seen some movies with cool people, like, you know, it makes the movie better. I think the movie really dictates that as well. But if you're in a movie where everybody's laughing, like, if it's a killer movie, it's a really funny movie. It's an experience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a ride. It's almost like being in a comedy club.

Yeah. You feel the energy. But when motherfuckers talk, you know when that really doesn't happen when it's like nerdy movies nerdy movies you know like Filmhouse you know if you go see like

Peanut Butter Falcon nobody's fucking talking during that what's Peanut Butter Falcon you didn't see Peanut Butter Falcon no what is it was Shia LaBeouf is that how you say his name if it's not

we're gonna say it that way from now on I'm sorry Shia I'm a big fan I think that's how you say it is that how you say it how do you say it La way from now on. I'm sorry, Shia. I'm a big fan. I think that's how you say it. Is that how you say it? How do you say it? Les Bouffes? It sounds like something

that gay guys do in France. Les Bouffes? How dare you? I'm sorry. Les Bouffes? Les Bouffes. Peanut Butter Falcon was this great movie

about this special needs kid and his friend that he picks up along the way and the journey that they make together. Like a total feel-good movie, but it features this really talented special needs actor that it's a heartwarming film. And Shia, he's a great actor.

Did you ever see that thing where he, when Trump was elected, he was getting people to chant, he will not divide us. He will not divide us. Yeah. I remember something about that. Where was he? Well, this he will not divide us. He will not divide us. Yeah, I remember something about that. Where was he? Well, this is why it became funny. Was it Reddit or 4chan?

4chan, right? That did it? 4chan. So this website of mischievous people called 4chan. And they found out that he had set up on his website, he had a webcam on this flag that said, he will not divide us. And he had this flag in the middle of Oklahoma somewhere on a webcam streaming on his website. So the geniuses, these nerd geniuses, decided to triangulate where that was based on the stars that you could see on the webcam in the distance. They figured out where it

was on planet Earth. Then they had someone drive around in a truck and honk the horn while another person was listening to the webcam and see if it gets louder or quieter. So as they got closer and closer, it's genius shit, they finally got to the webcam. They took

the flag down. The guy looks in front of the camera and goes fuck Shia LaBeouf. I have to say that was a fucking roller coaster of a story. It's genius. It was a genius thing. But here's the thing. Radio Lab had a whole podcast about it. It was really interesting.

Because first of all, no one got hurt. This is not about violence. This is not about terrorism. No one got hurt. It's about point of views. But it's also funny. It's also funny. And if you don't think that's funny, well, then you must not have had a job that you

hated where you sit in a cubicle and you Google funny shit because that's funny. It is really fucking funny. That is fucking funny. And look, Shia's going to get over it. If that's all the guy did is say, fuck Shia LaBeouf, that shit's hilarious. If that was me and I was a pretentious fuck and I had a sign that said, he will not divide us and I put it on my website. No, but if I did and they found my flag and they took it down, they went, fuck Joe Rogan.

I'd be like, ah, you got me. That's pretty talented. And the fact that they found it by the stars. But here's the thing. For Chan, they said, well, it was on this website, For Chan, that's been known to be sexist and misogynistic and all the other istics and isms. What does that have to do with it? It has nothing to do with it! No.

Because someone might have posted like a Hitler frog with the Pepe the Frog. A Hitler frog? What's that children's book? You know, the Pepe the Frog? Oh, yeah, yeah, yes. Because on that same message board, somebody might have posted a picture of that,

of the thousands and thousands of users, they'll use something like that to say, oh, this is just what 4chan is. Right, to group it. It's just the worst people on Earth, the biggest monsters ever. Yeah, and people that found that fucking flag by staring at the stars.

Okay, they're that too. You don't think that's amazing? You don't think that's amazing? And all they did is say, fuck Shia LaBeouf. That's it that's some really talent that that's like talent that should be focused in a in a specific field listen it probably is they're probably just bored they're probably tired of this fucking shit and they just they saw it and they're like this guy i'm i'm going to find it i'm going to find that flag and then they put their nerd minds to the test. Do you know how good it must have felt to find the fucking flag?

Yeah, it's like a movie. Like find an X and dig a hole and find pirate's booty. It's like a treasure hunt. It's like the ultimate treasure hunt. It's a treasure hunt. So Radiolab took the podcast down. I love Radiolab. It's one of my absolute favorite podcasts.

Why'd they take it down? Because people were complaining that they're supporting 4chan by making that podcast. But that feels like a threat of freedom of speech. If people don't like something, we're going to start

taking it down. No, keep it up. Because only those conversations are the ones that move the needle on a societal level. Like only those conversations where people are debating, do we learn and grow if we open ourselves up to that? I mean, if you and I sat here and agreed on everything, it'd be a fun conversation. But it's also interesting to have alternate points of view and learn from one another.

Also, they didn't do anything that deserves to have them nuked from the historical record. Yeah, exactly. If you have people and you have an open message board, which is what it is, and people post awful shit, that doesn't even really represent who they are most of the time. When people are posting, they're posting because they're bored or they want a reaction. It's a terrible way to communicate with people. It is, and it's also, find a way to create some sort of algorithm

to block people like that. Instead of taking down the people who are putting up these videos, instead of censoring, you should just block the trolls. Block the trolls and they can go someplace else. But people are doing that. They do that themselves

because they want to get a reaction out of people. They do. I guarantee, like, when you see people that post that Pepe the Frog with, like, a Hitler hat on, they're doing this. They're doing it to freak people out more than they're doing it because that's their ideology, that they're actually a Nazi. Way more of them are doing it to fuck with you, and they're trying to do it anonymously. Yes.

It's just a weird way to communicate. I experienced that early on during this whole quarantine thing where I was doing a Zoom, a podcast via Zoom. Did you get Zoomed? Homie. Woo! I've been hearing about these. What happened?

So I went to record my podcast, sharp-tongued podcast, shout-out to my own podcast, on Zoom, and I didn't set the parameters. I didn't know that you there's like settings to it to make it kind of closed. Oh, you can make it closed. I didn't. I sent the link out.

I sent the link out and everybody who had the link could access and post and show their video. Oh no. And I didn't know this because this was like the first week of, you know, everyone figuring out Zoom. And so it went dark web quick. There was definitely someone fucking, a woman screaming in the background, people screaming the N-word at me.

Whoa. Saying, Jesse likes to F, likes to fuck N-words and and all this craziness and screaming and death metal. Did you record all this? No, but... Why? Because I was just trying to shut it the fuck down. Oh, my God. Because I was trying to do a podcast.

If that was young Jamie, he would have hit record, and he'd be like, this is going to be amazing. We're going to be on Reddit's front page. It was so early on, I didn't have access to my normal producer girl, and so I just was like, oh, I can do this myself. I'm going to learn and do it myself, and I learned the hard way to not dip out into the web. People left it their own expression.

If they know they're not being watched, or if they know that they're not displaying who they really are, they're fucking dark. They can be, but I think even that, they're trying to get a reaction. Exactly. They were trying to get a reaction. It's just a dumb way to communicate openly with strangers. They got one because I was like, oh, oh, whoa.

What is going on in here? You can't have that. You can't have that. I had to shut that down. But it was a quick little glimpse into how people will try and get a reaction out of you. Yeah, they're bored. People are so on edge right now. They're bored out of their fucking mind.

And boredom's okay. We still got two more weeks. Boredom's fine. I'm not afraid of boredom. People are going, I'm so bored. Fucking learn a language. Pick up a guitar. Boredom is a time for you to put your brain to use or to give your brain a break.

You know, people are like going bored. Really? Go out for a walk. Can we not do that? Can we not go outside in nature? I think people need interests. Exactly. Find something you're interested in, whether it's documentaries on shit or find something you want to try to learn how to do.

Find a purpose. There's a lot of things you can learn how to do online. There's so many things. I mean, there's no excuse now. I mean, Yale even offered that course in the, what is it, like well-being? Oh, who's going to teach that course? I mean, probably some lady who has a lot of cats. It was a free course from Yale is the point.

Like early on, they're like, here, you could learn all sorts of things in this. I think boredom is an excuse for laziness. Yale should have a course on stuff like that, on self-help people. Like early on, they're like, here, you could learn all sorts of things in this. I think boredom is an excuse for laziness. Yale should have a course on stuff like that, on like self-help people and hypnotists. What do you think about hypnotists? Do you think it's real? Have you ever been hypnotized? Yes. Yeah.

So can you tell me what it's like? Well, my friend Vinny Shorman, he does what I do for the UFC. He does that for a lot of Muay Thai events. Great guy. He's a commentator. And he's also a hypnotist and a mental He does that for a lot of Muay Thai events. Great guy. He's a commentator. And he's also a hypnotist and a mental coach. He works with a lot of fighters. And I said, I want to know what it's like.

He said, okay, I'll hypnotize you. And I'm like, all right, here we go. So he sits me down. He counts me through this thing. And next thing you know, you're in this weird state. I don't know how long it took to get me hypnotized, a couple minutes or so. But, you know, I gave into it. Like I'm trying to just listen to him. But, you know, I gave into it.

Like I'm trying to just, I was trying to listen, just listen to him. He's a friend. I really like him. So it was easy to trust him and just say, all right, let's see what this is all about. And I feel like it puts you in a place where it cuts down. You're still conscious. You're not like, at least I was. It's not like you're, you know, you don't know what's going on.

You wake up with your pants down. It's not like you're you know you don't know what's going on you wake up with your pants down it's not like that hello college that's a funny thing you always say whenever you text Jesse may will send me a text but is there right fuck it's f u xt and I said why don't you ever use the C and she goes goes, it's too open. It reminds me of college. Remember that one time I texted you and I was like, I'm going to Japan. You were like, oh my God, that's so exciting. When I was like, just kidding. I'm high eating sushi. So I was reading this thing about Japanapan about their covid deaths are really low and that am i hypnotized right now because you talked about it and totally diverted oh the hypnotist thing yeah so i keep doing it i keep talking about it but it was interesting

it's like just i wanted to i wanted to be sounds crazy but my thing would be to try to figure out how to distract myself less, have less procrastination. You're a procrastinator? No, very little, but I want to get rid of it, even the little I got left. I can't imagine. If you're procrastinating, it just seems like a lie. A couple years ago, maybe it worked, before I moved into the studio. But it was just an interesting way of channeling out all the bullshit and getting to sort of the heart of who you are in this weird way.

It gets to this weird center of you, and then as it expands back out to regular consciousness, it's like you're filled in with the outside world and a lot of other shit. It reminded me a lot of experiences that you can get or states of mind that you can get when you do the float tank. I was going to say ketamine, but yeah. I've never done that. But I know a lot of people are into that now. I don't know what the fuck's going on.

I know so many people are doing ketamine. I'm like, settle down. That kills people, you fucks. Well, I mean, if you get the right guy, the right person to do it, you could survive. You're having ketamine parties up on the beach. Come on over, guys. We're having quarantine ketamine parties in my apartment. There's a thing about the float tank.

You get to the state where you can kind of see things more clearly. Yeah, you feel like you're one with everything. It's strange. It's very weird, right? Very healing, though. So it sounds like hypnotism partnered with the right person could be a way to get into your mind and sort of do some therapy? Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, for sure. Because that's what Float Tank was for me as well. I think it's real similar because it leaves you alone. Other than the fact that when you do hypnotism, you'll be suggested and you'll be having a conversation with the therapist, the person who's doing it to you. I'm only basing it on my one experience. I've seen some other hypnotism stuff online, but I've's doing it to you. I'm only basing it on my one experience. I've seen some other hypnotism stuff

online, but I've only had it done once. But I think that as people learn how to float and learn how to relax, you can kind of use your inner voice and you can guide yourself through various aspects of things that you find troubling, things

that are bothering you, things, patterns, bad patterns that you keep recreating over and over again. Anxieties. Anxieties. Yeah. And perspective. And I think that there's a real value to being alone with your thoughts and there's no better

place to be alone with your thoughts than a float tank. Yeah. Sensory deprivation. I think it's a sense. In a way, it's like a self-hypnotism. There's something to it. That's interesting. That's an interesting approach.

I think you're probably right. It's almost like you're in a womb. In the womb again. You're free of all the bullshit. It really helps you just let the fuck go. Let go of your ego, of your worry, and all of that. Do you float a lot?

I have one right here. Oh, shit. I have a tank right here. That's right. It's the beautiful thing about it is that it gets you away from all the other information. Like you're always getting information. There's always something coming at you. Most of it's subliminal. You don't even realize the effect it's having on your brain. Sure, sure.

And all of those synapses that are firing, and at some point they need to relieve themselves. And when you're sleeping, I'm sure it affects your ability to go into those deep REM cycles. You're supposed to get like three or four a night. Maybe you don't get as many because all day long we're inundated with these phones and these screens and the sounds. And especially us, we're in the city. There's value to removing yourself from a highly populated area. That's the one thing I've realized about this quarantine is the appeal of the rural life. You know?

I was talking with Justin, our friend from ABX and he was showing me a video of his home and it's just all this beautiful grass. Just green. Don't tell anybody where he lives. I won't, but it was just beautiful. If you guys, I'll send you the video, you guys can geotag it by the blades of grass, you fucking nerds. But I was just like, oh.

Cut to article, Jesse May supports 4chan. I'm out there with protesting for 4chan, yeah. I just think there's a value to surrounding yourself in nature. And for you, I'm sure you've provided yourself an existence that represents your values in life but do you feel like the way you live right now in your house in your home feels like a real homestead to you or does it still feel out of place because you wish you were someplace else well when things like this happen one thing you realize there's two things you realize one that there's it's really nice to have a nice community i i have a bunch of nice neighbors

i love that i wave to them i love that like we talk to each other i love that it's really sweet it means a lot to you when shit gets weird you know when you have a bunch of nice people that live near you but two makes me realize the value of being able to grow your own food like if you lived on a fucking farm and some shit went down you wouldn't have to go anywhere you could hurt you've got animals and vegetables and you're managing everything and you know if you live on a small organic farm that's like the move that is the move is the move is you have a small organic farm and then you have a few friends that live on this property with a small organic farm and you split time fuck yeah and you share the value of the resources of the stuff that you grow yourself. You could get away from having supermarkets if you did that.

You really could. You know who lives like that? The actor who played Shazam, Zachary Levi. I like that guy a lot. You should have, have you interviewed him? I would love to have him on. He'd be a great guest on here. He speaks a lot about mental health and he has a place.

Does he really? Yeah. He's great on The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. He was wonderful. He was such a great supporting character to her. Shazam was amazing. Did you watch that with your kids? It's so fun.

He lives like that. He's got like a commune. Not like a culty thing. Mushrooms. Oh, sex. You're just saying words. Mushroom sex. Which sounds great. I know how they do it. It always starts like, oh, we're just going to grow tomatoes together.

Makes you know it's got to fuck your wife and you have to give them 10%. It's literally Wanderlust, that movie Wanderlust. Has anybody ever done a cult right? Anybody? Well, what's doing a cult right? What would the Joe Rogan cult look like? You can't. Well, the problem is you die and someone else takes over and they fuck it up.

That's what happens with every good empire. Even if you figure it out the first time, if you get it right, someone dies, the new guy comes along, ruins everything. Would you have people drink the punch? No. It'd be too much work to run a cult. It's too much work.

But I'm saying it's amazing that no one... The last one to come up with a good one was Scientology, right? That's the last one that stuck. Who was that? L. Ron Hubbard. Science fiction author, by the way. Fucking genius. Really bad science fiction author.

Really bad. But it talks a lot and says a lot to the power of persuasion. You ever read his stuff? No, I... You need to read his stuff. Okay. Is it like Harry Potter? It's all first draft.

There's never a second draft. It's the most nonsense. And narcissistic. But it's bonkers. Like, the stuff, it's bonkers. Like, some of the reading, like, he would write these stories and he would get paid a penny a word or some shit like that. And he would write a bunch of them for Strange Times magazine and stuff way back in the day. This is what he did before he created Scientology.

He wrote these stories. And what was the one, that John Travolta movie that they made? Battlefield Earth damn Jamie he's a wizard are you on just looking at it you got that mushroom coffee going

he's a wizard Jesus are you an AI did you ever see that did you ever see Battlefield Earth it's oh with the eyebrows yes

amazing L. Ron Hubbard didn't write that yes he did are you fucking kidding me yes he did and it was John Travolta's like lifelong dream to turn that movie into one of the most preposterous

movies of all time. He turned that book into a masterpiece. He looks like every white guy who wishes he was black. Look at the dreads. Look, they're supposed to be giant, and the humans are these little tiny people. Who is that? Is that? Forrest Whitaker.

Oh my God. Yeah. So anyway, this movie is, it's like Showgirls. You ever watch Showgirls for fun? A great movie. For fun. Great movie. It's so bad.

You're like, what in the fuck? It's like, there's a lot of movies like that that are great because they're awful. I need to rewatch this. Yeah. He looks like a dude who hacky sacks in a park during the day. Please do this for me and for your fans. For me and for your fans. For me and for your fans. Spark up and do a fight companion for Battlefield Earth.

You watch Battlefield Earth for the first time and queue it up so that people can watch along. They'll just see you, but they could watch Battlefield Earth on one screen and you on the other. If they queue it up at the same time, they'll get you reacting to the movie. That's such a good idea. I'm going to do that for the next podcast episode. Yeah, great idea, right? That's a great idea. I think you might have to have headphones on because you probably couldn't have the content of it streaming.

My mind is blown that he wrote this. Let me check. Oh, dude. You got to read some of the stuff he wrote. You read some of the stuff he wrote and you go, well, this is terrible. So is this bad? It's terrible. It looks really good. It this, it's bad. It's terrible. It looks really good.

It reminds me of like. It's so bad. It's just like, what is, what the fuck are you doing? The fuck are you doing? But people like that. And I've, I've said this about Hitler and people who are just people who have these massive capabilities of persuading just a mass of people. Like L. Ron Hubbard? L. Ron Hubbard.

It's like a missed opportunity to do something good. Well, have you ever read that book? Lawrence Wright's book? Is that what it is? Clear? Is it Lawrence Wright? Is that who wrote it? I think it is. The book on Scientology

is amazing. I mean, fucking amazing. And they did a... Was it an HBO series he did on it? They did some... Anyway. It just... It's a book about like about... It's about how he created it. How L. Ron Hubbard created the... Alex Gibney.

Alex Gibney. Director and screenplay. There must... Okay, that's that. But there was a Lawrence... There was a book written, too. Yeah, there was a book written, too. Going Clear?

Maybe it's Going Clear. That's what this is called. That's called Going Clear. I wonder... You know in marketing, how there's a tipping point to where things become like... Both titled the same thing. So Going Clear, Lawrence Wright, too. Sorry. Okay. how there's like a tipping point to like where things become like both both titled the same thing so go in clear lawrence right too sorry okay so i think the other one is that alex gibney directed the law is that what it is they're both must be anyway the um the story behind it is he

was self-helping himself so he was psychologically kind of fucked up and he was sort of self-diagnosing and self-medicating so you give him self-ther himself therapy by taking a lot of these principles of different self-help books and different psychology books that he had read. And then he started applying that. And then he started putting that together with some fucking UFOs and Thetans. So like Tony Robbins on crack? But when I forget what the director's name and they're going clear on HBO. It is. It's fucking amazing.

And one of them, there's this guy who's a big-time Hollywood guy who is in Scientology. I forget what he does. He's a director, right? Paul Haggis, I think. Yes, that guy. And he's a really, really respected Hollywood guy, right? Makes movies. And he's deep into this thing, right?

Probably giving him millions of dollars or something like this. And then finally he gets to read these handwritten notes that he's been into this thing, right? Probably giving him millions of dollars or something like this. And then finally he gets to read these handwritten notes that he's been waiting for. Like, this is the, you're on to the next level. And he's like, is this, am I being trolled? Like, he thinks it's like,

almost like a test. Like, can you believe this? The next level? Like, it's Super Mario Brothers? Exactly like Super Mario Brothers. But that's kind of smart. That's smart marketing. Well, it is.

A false sense of achievement. Like, you've achieved something different. And that's like what I was saying. Do you think how in marketing there's like a tipping point to when things become viral and more popular? Do you think there was like a tipping point to Scientology, just the floodgates opened and then everybody was sort of following? If you follow a lot of the tenets of things like Dianetics, all these self-help tenets, if you follow the good stuff, you can actually do better. And you'll do better because you're also focusing on the fact that you're following this path that's going to do better. So your intention, your focus during your day is of improving and doing better.

And applying all of that. So a lot of people, whether they join this or whether they take something less benign like Tony Robbins stuff, which is very motivational, but without the cult, mostly. I mean, he's not your guru. He seems really good for a guy that's experienced what he's experienced, right? Yes. To be doing that kind of stuff for this long. I'm actually reading Awake the Beast Within. I read Unlimited Power like in 1989 or some shit.

It was great. Yeah, it's a great book. It's great. There's a lot of great stuff in it. But those people that, if you're one of those people that's doing something like that. Like the giant, not the beast. Giant. Yeah.

Who was the other example that I used? The other motivational dude Jamie help how did we both forget I said Tony Robbins and who else anyway point is there's people want something that guides them in a positive direction if they think it's gonna be Tony Robbins or if they think it's going to be Scientology, they're trying to do better. Right. So if you say, well, Scientology really helped my life. It did. But why did it help your life?

It helped your life because you decided to focus on doing better in your life and you use the tenets of Scientology, which some of them are really good. Yeah. I read Dianetics. I read like a couple of chapters. It's like religion. There are aspects of it that you can apply to your life and benefit from it. But then there's- Look how focused Tom Cruise is.

The tribal side that gets crazy. With everything, though. Look how focused Tom Cruise is. He is very focused. Where is he? Does anybody know? He's in a bunker right now. He's in outer space.

Rehabbing his ankle. Broken half. Doing Mission Impossible. Did you see that shit? Did you ever see that shit? Was that when he jumped on the wall? Dude, he's like, how old is he? 172. He's at least 56 years old. He's

5,000 years old. He's from another galaxy. 57? Okay. Do you think you could take him down? 57 years old. 57 years old. He jumps from one building all the way to the other with his fucking rope attached to him and mishits it and slams his ankle into the side of the

building. You see his foot compressed. His ankle's fucksville. Why do they allow in what clause in the movie contract are they like yeah, we're gonna have Tom, or do you think he was just like, fuck it, I'm gonna do it. He's gonna do it and you could eat shit all day because he's fucking Tom Cruise.

Sit down! Yeah. You can't handle the truth! He learned all that helicopter piloting for the movie, too. Yeah, dude, he's a maniac. He did it? He flew? That's what they said and showed.

He's a legit maniac. Love him or hate him, that guy is a legit maniac, a badass actor. If you don't think he is, watch Interview with the Vampire and shut the fuck up. Yeah, that's a good one. He was amazing in that movie. Also legend for the ladies who are listening from the 1980s. Ladies from the 80s, the legend. Tom Cruise was in the legend.

You remember that movie? I do remember. Are you a nerd? That's right. You'd watch that type of movie. I remember that movie. That was a dope movie. It was.

Tim Curry as a devil. So this is him really hanging on. No. Yes. No, it is. Why does he look like Donald Trump's son? No, this is him really hanging on. No. Yes. No, it is. Why does he look like Donald Trump's son? No, this is him really hanging on right now. No, no, no.

I have chills. Yes. Oh, God. Are you for real? Yes. I have such a height. Do you understand how hard that is to do? No, no, because I wouldn't do it.

This crazy fuck's holding onto a plane. Now, do you attribute that to Scientology? Yes, it has to be. It's the only other way he could have do it. This crazy fuck's holding onto a plane. Now, do you attribute that to Scientology? Yes, it has to be. It's the only other way he could have done it. So also, he's flying this helicopter for real. So he's doing this crazy helicopter stunt for real. By himself. By himself, this fucking maniac.

He also drives race cars. Now, is that a death? Is that a... You remember when I said about playing pool? You watch someone play pool in a movie? Color money. He looked good in color money. Do you think there's a level of sociopathy that's playing there?

Why do you have to find negative? Why can't you just look at the positive? No, it was a question. I didn't say. I offered a question. He's out there making it happen, Jesse May. You're a fan. Why you got to look at the dark side?

Is this your man? Why is the glass half empty, Jesse May? Listen, look at these fucking crashes that he has riding his motorcycle. You just got to think, out of all the people that have done all the action movies, who is wild in this motherfucker? He's the Michael Jordan of action movies. Who's wilder than this motherfucker? Like, legitimately.

Vin Diesel. No, no, no, no, no. I just threw a name out there. You just made that up. I threw a name. I threw a name. Sounds like he should be with that name. It does. Vin Diesel. Do you know how cocky no, no. I just threw a name out there. You just made that up. I threw a name. I threw a name. Sounds like you should be with that name. It does.

Vin Diesel. Do you know how cocky you have to be to make up that name? Vin Diesel. It is a lot. It's a name that comes with a lot of attitude. Do you think Tom Cruise is, like, is he a daredevil? He's a savage. Do you think he thinks he's immortal because of Scientology?

I think he thinks he gets his own planet when he dies. Or is that a Mormon? That's a Mormon, right? Mormons get their own planet. They do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck. Dude, there's a fucking album from Donny and Marie or the Osmond Brothers.

It's from the Osmond Brothers. And inside the album, when you open it up, it's from back in the Disney. The album, the name of the album is the name of this thing that happens when you get your own planet, when you die. And then there's all these different people. They all have their own planet inside the album. Okay, we need to know that album title. Here it is. Here it is.

The Plan. Okay, that looks like a cult. Which one is it? I think it's the one with the planet on it. Look at the pink people. There's one that you open it up, and then the inside of it, it's got all the different... Do I remember? Am I remembering this wrong?

No, we did this before. I know we did. Joe Rogan, you're a treasure chest of information. No, useless shit. I told you. My chimp brain is overused. It's taxed. The information's just stumbling out of it, out of nowhere.

It makes for perfect podcast fodder, though. Oh, you reminded me, remember, when I said it? I'm mentally ill, and it works well in this genre. I wanted to tell you something. Speaking of chimps, I was reading this thing about sperm competition in correlation with sack size. Yeah. The size of the balls. And as I was reading that, Joey Diaz's video.

Was on Twitch. Twitch was on Twitter and so he calls me last night and he's like what are you doing beautiful like oh I'm just hanging out what are you doing he's like oh I'm hanging out with the missus and the kid and I was like oh that sounds nice and he goes did you check out those nuts?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I was like, yes, I did, Joe. They're not nuts. They are fucking planetary systems. He's the best. It's a universe. I've never seen nuts like that in my life. What happened with the violation?

Didn't they get a legitimate violation from that? I hope so. Joey's a universe. I've never seen nuts like that in my life. What happened with the violation? Didn't they get a legitimate violation from that? I hope so. Joey's so necessary. Look at them. It looks like a Louis Vuitton bag. Look how he jiggles them for you, too. He's so proud. He's like a kid.

He's like a fucking four-year-old. I love him so much. Look it. He called me to make sure I saw it. The fact that he thought he could do that on a fucking live stream for the comedy store people don't realize how necessary of a person Joey Diaz is

somebody who pushes the ticket like this who literally moves the needle with his nutsack he's such a national treasure he really is I love him so much he's a one of a kind but that's a great example like

he experienced the fucking the craziest the craziest life one of the craziest lives of anybody that's out of any of my friends and look what happens on the other end because of that you know and he's so gracious and he's so good to his friends and he's such a big heart on the other side of all of that. It's just, it's so weird how much of who you are is based on these sort of random circumstances and then how you come out of them. Yeah. Well, I think, you know, a lot of it has to do with the absence and relationship to love and safety throughout your lifetime. Yeah. And what your relationship to love is.

Because when you're born as a creature, your job is to get love. And then as you get a little older, you learn how to love. And then as an adult, you learn how to give love. And if that process is interrupted along the way, it's going to affect how you express that outwardly to people in your life and in for someone like Joey Diaz who as most people know experienced almost every kind of trauma and crazy life experience you can have in a single lifetime for him to come out on the other side who he is it's a testament to I don't know a greater thing going on yeah well bigger

he's also a bigger picture? He consciously made a decision to be a different person. Yeah. Because I remember, I heard you talking about how you'd bring him on the road and it wasn't always, you know, sometimes it was difficult. He just had a real bad drug problem back then. You know, he's talked about it pretty openly. He just liked to do coke and sometimes he showed up and sometimes he didn't.

And my take on it was I did want to not work with Joey. Like, I love Joey. Did you love him immediately when you met him? Yeah. Yeah, I don't think there was more than a couple weeks after Joey and I met that we were, like, best friends. That's adorable. But I grew up around wild people. He's a wild person.

You seem like you're good with chaos. Oh, yeah. I love it. But people like him, it's like, ah. When I was growing up, I always felt out of place. I didn't live with my real dad. I lived with my stepdad. We traveled around a lot.

So a lot of times I was the new kid. And I just didn't feel like I fit in with – I looked at other people's lives. The mom and dad were together and the kids never got in trouble and everyone was doing well in school. I looked at them almost like they were aliens. I was scared of them. And I gravitated towards people that were like, you know, I haven't seen my dad since I was three. My mom's been selling heroin. They're like, all right, we're friends.

And then through all my choices, just sort of coincidentally, whether it's through martial arts and then through comedy, it sort of reinforced that. It wasn't my thought when I was 17 years old thinking I didn't fit in anywhere. It wasn't my thought. I know what I'll do. I'll go seek out stand-up comedians and fighters, and they'll understand me. Yeah, people who sort of represent my own feelings. People who are also fucked up. People who also came from a less, just not a suboptimal childhood, let's say it, because I wouldn't have a bad childhood.

There's many people that had way worse childhoods than me. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good. So it's like going over it and trying to think how many people are living way worse childhoods, way worse, and then they have to correct as they're becoming an adult while they're working and they're in relationships. To have self-awareness to know what it is. And they're fucking an adult while they're working and they're in relationships.

To have self-awareness to know what it is. And they're fucking busy with a million different things and they're not even concentrating on themselves. Which is the thing you have to do. If you have to get good at anything, right? If you want to get good at playing basketball, you've got to concentrate on playing basketball. You have to be focused. That's Jamie. He's actually a basketball wizard.

Are those lies, Jamie? You should see some three points. You got a nice Jimmy, Jamie? His three points are out of control. But you have to concentrate on that. How many times do people concentrate on being a better person? Concentrate on who you are. Concentrate on why you react to things the way you do or whether or not you're pursuing your passions with 100% of your enthusiasm or whether or not you could be more successful if you got up earlier and got more done and just had a better attitude about things, just more focused.

It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. The ego gets in the way of the self. Yep. And it's that self-work, the self-respect and self-care that you have to embark on. But first you have self-awareness, and to discover that requires a whole other situation and ability to access your humility. You got to be brave. You have to be very, very brave.

That's not like brave like you're about to go stab a bear. To face yourself. There's a different kind of bravery. There's some bravery. And this is the thing with men, right? The big thing with men is men tend to be more inclined to place value on being brave in physical situations. Brave where you save somebody. Brave where you risk your life. Brave where you did something that was a dangerous thing for the good of all or for the good of your loved ones.

or for the good of your loved ones. But then the other kind of bravery, the kind of emotional bravery, where you look at yourself accurately, men tend to shy away from that or to frown on that even. I agree with that. But it takes a kind of bravery to look at yourself accurately too. It's a different kind of bravery.

But still, it's a daunting thing to sort of dissolve your pre-existing notions of who you are and look at yourself with fresh lenses. Have your daughters helped you access that vulnerability about yourself? Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Anytime you're raising little people and you realize how dangerous the world is for little people, and then these little people, you love them as much as any person you've ever loved times 10 in your whole life. It's impossible to describe. Every parent will tell you.

It doesn't even make sense. When you see them, you just get like a love drug just floods through you. It's different. It's different. And it's so important. And as a girl who was a daughter of a girl dad, it's so important for you. Wait a minute. You're a what?

You're the daughter of a girl dad? A daughter of a dad who had a girl. Okay. It's so important for you. Wait a minute. You're a what? You're the daughter of a girl dad? A daughter of a dad who had a girl. Okay. It makes me emotional, but I had a really, really great dad. Dude, do not cry. I will fucking come over there right now and violate social distancing rules. You cried on this podcast once. I've cried a couple times.

I'm just kidding. But for you to love your daughters daughters that love will carry them through all sorts of shit that they're going to experience that you cannot avoid where you're not going to be able to be there and protect them the way you want to as a dad so like you just loving them gives them all the strength they need for their entire life and i'm sure you know that but i just want to express it to you because i am that girl too. Like my father loved me so, so much. So it's such a responsibility because in order to express that love as a man, you have to have a humility about yourself and you have to be real about your vulnerabilities. So it's, it's an achievement as a guy, but also just as a man in

society to do what you're doing. So you're creating healthy girls and we need more healthy girls in the world. So thank you. Well, you're welcome. I'm doing my best. I'm doing my best to be a good dad. But I think we all need to realize, and this is one of the things that I really realized when I started raising kids. As time went on, I recognized that I don't look at people the same way anymore. I look at them as babies that became people. Where I used to always,

like if I met you, like, oh, here's Jessie Mae in 2020 and this is how she's always been. That's just how I would think. Oh, there's Jessie Mae. Hi, Jessie. I know what you look like. I see you all the time.

Hey, Jessie Mae. But I didn't, I would never think, oh, that was like a little two-year-old. Yeah. Like this little two-year-old who was walking funny and dancing when music was coming on. Yeah. Like, oh, and then life just sort of like puts you through the ringer and does this good and that bad and this better and that worse.

And then, boom, here you are in 2020. And it made me think of the whole path of human beings rather than just a static thing that you see in front of you right now. That's like enlightenment. That's a form of enlightenment. That's you, you know, you're an evolved human to think that about people. Well, it's not. It's just seeing it in real time. Like watching my kids grow up and watch them become these little intelligent things I can have conversations with.

Little personalities forming. And watching just, when you have a little person and all of a sudden that person's a big person and they're sitting across from you and you're having a conversation with them, it's very surreal. Just having full-on conversations with this person that didn't even exist.

Yeah, that you saw grow and get bigger. How has the quarantine changed or evolved your relationship with them? Like, has it brought up any new experiences? With my family and I think with all my friends, it's made everybody a little more appreciative. Made everybody appreciative of each other. Yeah. Made everybody realize, like, hey, this really can happen. Okay, now that we know that, everything really can shut down.

We've kind of all known this before. It's sort of like what we were talking about earlier. We have this ability to block out all the stuff we're doing that doesn't affect us right now. And I think something like this quarantine and something like this pandemic makes you realize, like, holy shit. We're vulnerable. We're really vulnerable. And this is what's important. What's important is staying alive. And we were were all on momentum we were all on momentum just running

around and not even considering where we're getting stuff you know what a buffalo drive is where the native americans migrating them no native americans used to they it's called a buffalo jump actually native americans used to chase these buffalo off the side of a cliff and so the buffalo would be running and the ones in the front would go, oh, fuck, there's a cliff. And they'd go to turn around, and there's a thousand buffalo behind you running full clip. You're going over the edge.

So they would all go over the edge. And then the Native Americans would come around the front and pick up the buffalo and take them. Well, that's what we're like. We're like we're on this crazy momentum where you're just getting up and just working all day and doing this and all this momentum and you're fucking upset and your blood pressure's up and then boom something like this happens and yeah it's terrible yeah i wouldn't wish it on anybody

but there's an opportunity in this moment to reset your perspective and slow the fuck down get off the hamster wheel get off the hamster wheel and go why why am i living like this and what am i doing to contribute how i'm living how how are my behaviors choices and decisions contributing to the life that i have and and i think i don't know about you but for me i've been really asking myself is the life i'm living the one that i want to live and how can i improve it is the travel thing the thing that bugs you the most yeah it's so exhausting and it's you know it's exhausting on a cellular level and it's, it, you know, it's stressful. It's, it ages you. It, it, it really does. It really does beat you up when you fly every week. It beats you up when you fly every week. And it also, I'm a big energy

person and I like to conserve my energy and I don't like to give energy to people who are, you know, emotional vampires. And I'm very specific about where I put it. But traveling doesn't give a fuck about that. It'll pull from that energy source as much as it wants to. Like you, I love comedy and I love to perform and give my all on stage. If I'm tired from a flight, sometimes those shows are great. I don't know if you've had those ones where you haven't slept at all and you go on stage and you're just like, fuck it.

But for the most part, I like to be rested. Yeah, you want to be rested. You want to be where your brain's firing. Yeah, where you're not even thinking. When you're in that sweet zone. It's almost like a natural reaction to the moment. Isn't it weird how dumb you can get sometimes? For me.

Me, personally? No, me. Everybody. All of us. weird how dumb you can get sometimes like for me like i have me personally no me everybody all of us we all have to admit that there's a range that we operate in we're on fire like we're brains firing everything makes sense everything's going good you have a great conversation you understand what people are saying you're stimulated and where's my keys right there's like who am i what was it what's that guy's name we were saying? What the fuck did I just say? How do words work?

Yeah. Sometimes my brain is like, and sometimes it's like, sometimes it's like a race car. And sometimes it's like a car with some shitty spark plugs that can barely make it out of the driveway. Have you found aspects of your life that contribute to you feeling like you're... Oh, yeah, for sure. What do you attribute it to? Exhaustion's a big one.

Exhaustion's a big one. I was doing podcasts earlier in the day, but I would do them straight from working out. And it's just too hard. Especially running hills. Yeah, you're out there with Marshall. Yeah, or yoga. Yoga would kick your ass too

before a podcast. I had to give myself an extra hour after the class before I tried to do a podcast. What's your routine after you work out hard? What do you do right after you work out? I always replenish. With food? Yeah, eat some food. Your body wants

some protein and some if you're eating carbs, your body wants some glucose. And your body definitely wants some electrolytes. I always take electrolytes. Are you a person who naps? No, I never nap. I can't imagine you napping. No, I don't nap.

It's like a napping bear. I don't have that kind of time. I'm not interested. I just sleep at night. I sleep good. I'm a solid seven, eight-hour sleeper every night. I don't need a nap. What's the first thing you do in the morning?

Do you have like a regular morning routine? Are you the FBI? Yeah, I've got people recording this. I'm just making sure we can find out where you are. I usually do some kind of workout. Either I'll do something with the dog, we'll do the hills. Or I'll work out here, kick the bag, that kind of shit. Yeah.

Or I'll lift weights. Depending on what day it is, I just decide. Like today I'm going to do this, tomorrow I'm going to do this. I just have a series of workouts, too, that I've been doing forever that I can sort of plug in. I have a whiteboard. I write shit down on the whiteboard. And you've been consistent through quarantine as well? You've been taking it easy on exercising? You've been doing that every day?

No, I've been ramping it up. Damn. Because I don't want to be edgy. You know, I want to be relaxed. And you also don't want to be edgy. I want to be relaxed. And you also don't want to be like the people from WALL-E. What? What's that? Fat people.

Oh. People just get lazy. Everything's done for them. There's no excuses. If you're home all day, there's no excuse to go to the gym for one hour. And by the way, you don't even need a gym. You don't? You need like a kettlebell?

You don't even need that. You can do body weight shit. There's a shit ton of things you could burn yourself out on just with body weights. Especially if you have a chin-up bar. Body weights and a chin-up bar. Dude. I can do four. But do you have the one that go, can you really?

Yes. That's very good. Is it? Yes, it's very good. I feel good. I thought it was terrible. I thought you were going to be like, you fucking weak bitch. No, that's very good.

Damn. Why is it when people put words in your mouth, it's always shit you would never say? You say bitch a lot, but not in a derogatory... But it's a friendly bitch. I say bitch too. Is it the kind that hang over the door, or is it the one that's screwed into the... It's screwed into the wall. Okay, good.

Is that good? Yes, better. The ones that hang over the door freak me out. Yeah, well, I've seen videos. Because there's plenty of videos. And the bitches who don't... Look, we have to... Before you decide you're a Instagram

fitness instructor, let's read the instructions of how to put those bands in your door. Because there's so many people out there that are putting them on the door and slapping themselves in the back. I'm noticing a lot of, not all, not all you ladies, not all, but a lot of these ladies that have the fitness accounts also have have an OnlyFans account. Oh, yeah. They're showing titties and clitty cats. They're showing clitty cats.

They're showing. They're getting paid. They're showing. Oh, they're showing the whole basket. They're showing the bunghole. They're showing the whole thing. And you know what? In today's economic climate, I might be right behind them.

I'll dress my butthole up for you. Will you paint it out like a clown? I'll bedazzle it. You know what I'll dress my butthole up for you Will you paint it out like a clown? I'll bedazzle it You know what I'll do? I'll get a really good artist To paint my butthole like a famous person And then you have to guess who it is That's a good idea

Yeah Have you seen that one lady We've talked about it before on the podcast That makes that visual art With painting Paints eyeballs and shit on people's faces Whoa Remember?

That one in particular Yeah but there's a lot of girls now that do the body paint stuff and do... A bunch of crazy stuff, like 3D stuff. Is that what you're looking at, Jamie? People are getting really artistic with face and body paint. That's interesting. Weird stuff. So yeah, you could do that to your butthole, though.

Yeah, I think I might... Same thing. I might do that. I did make a butthole candle that smells like my butthole. I bet you didn't. I did. How much you want to bet? I bet you're wrong. How much you want to bet? I bet you're wrong. I bet it doesn't did make a butthole candle. It smells like my butthole. I bet you didn't. I did. How much you want to bet? I bet you're wrong.

How much you want to bet? I bet you're wrong. I bet it doesn't smell like your butthole. Well, we can't. How would we even cash in on that? We have to do a sniff test. I'll blindfold myself so I can't see anything. Just back it up.

Oh, okay. We need to do a companion episode to that. I'll blindfold myself, put my hands behind my back. I can't move. And then you just back it up there and I'll take a sniff. What do you think it smells like? Like an asshole. You're wrong.

What do you think it smells like? You're wrong. A meadow? What is it, like an elk basin? It smells like a field? No. It's a wallow. It smells like vanilla and leather.

Oh, like... Aged leather. What's her name? Gwyneth Paltrow's candle? Yeah. Smells like a field. No. It's a wallow. It smells like vanilla and leather. Oh. Aged leather. What's her name? Gwyneth Paltrow's candle? Yeah. Smells like a vagina? I was like, no, everybody knows what vaginas smell like. We need a butthole candle.

Did you come up with this idea after her? This is like some next level shit? I came up with that idea after I got really stoned. Really, really stoned. And I was like, here's Gwyneth Paltrow. Pussy candle. What other body parts could I? Feet. Oof. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. Feet. candle. What other body parts could I? Feet.

Oof. Feet. You have all creeps. You have the creepiest guys at your show just looking at you, staring at your feet. There's a lot of foot fucks out there. I'm on Wikipedia somehow. Congratulations. Thank you.

I'm stating all my accolades. Wikipedia. Yeah. It's another area of a woman's life you have to be worried about. But yeah, people comment. Like if there's even a toe in a fucking photo, some dude comes out from the earth like some little slithering worm and he's like, I see a toe. That's why Annie Letterman is so funny. She blurs them out.

All of her pictures, she has her feet in them and they're all pixelated. Yeah, now she can have an OnlyFans account where that bitch can retire. If you're a woman in this climate and you don't have anything to do, retire on your butthole. Retire on your feet. There's a whole world for it. All you need is like, I mean, depends on how much money they're giving you every month, but you don't need like a lot of people to sustain you.

No, and it's much smarter for a smaller price to attract a certain number of people. Do you think the legitimate fitness girls get mad at the naked fitness girls? Absolutely. A lot of hating, right? Well, there's always people worried about it diluting their own industry. These motherfuckers. They define the industry.

They also define the standards because if there's going to be a high standard, there has to be a low standard. Don't you think? With every industry? It's almost like natural selection. It becomes a different thing, right? Because for one, like the fitness thing, for sure, it's inspiring girls to want to look

like her and like do this and 10 lunges and this and that and that, for sure. But also a bunch of guys who want to fuck her. Absolutely. But when you dip into the world of here's my naked pictures for X amount a month, then you're in a different realm. Because then the other girls that are just like the fitness girls who are just they're really expressly trying to motivate women to get fit. And they're showing all these exercises. And every day they're doing crunches and telling you to push it and keep going and don't quit. One time I thought about quitting, but I didn't.

Here I am. But also, here's my pussy. I think it seems like a full package. Are they mutually exclusive? Oh, gosh. Can you have a girl who's like a really motivating fitness girl who's got like the abs and like the midriff showing and wearing the yoga pants and looking like a badass? I think you can have it, but you have to be honest about it.

And see her pussy. You have to be, but you have to be honest about it. And see her pussy. You have to be, she's got to be honest about it. She's got to be like, hey, I am a, I'm here for Pilates and pussy. Whoa. That's, you've got,

like, don't, here's the thing that drives me nuts. Those girls acting like they aren't also pussy girls. You're also a pussy girl. What does that mean, a pussy girl? You know what it means.

Jamie knows what it means. He's Googling it. He's out there. He knows the girls. That's the difference of girls. A girl shows her pussy, she's a pussy girl. There's enough space for everybody. There should be, but a lot of bitches are hating. Well, hating bitches should focus their hate into something that can

benefit them. Cindy's over here just working on her lunges and trying to put together a good program for you, and Debbie's showing her whole asshole for five dollars. Look, my butthole would be much more expensive. Cindy's so fucking mad at Debbie. That whore! She's ruining my squat business.

With her butthole. One butthole took my whole business down. Cindy's all about those squats. But there's enough people for both areas, don't you think? No. You don't? There's a standoff, a Mexican standoff.

What should they do? It's like a goddamn Western movie with Clint Eastwood. They should have to actually do a physical test. They should have to squat each other out. Whoever dies first is done. Well, it's weird because they're in a new category. Ho? Let's stop. No. I can say that.'re in a new category. Ho? Let's stop.

No. I can say that. They've been around forever. Ho's been around forever. Yeah, it's the oldest job. But they're in a new category, like the female fitness influencer. That didn't exist. It never existed.

I just Googled OnlyFans, and there's actually a story that's on this topic that's not fitness. Oh, I heard about this. This lady is a mechanic, and apparently a very talented mechanic. and there's actually a story that's on this topic that's not fitness. Oh, I heard about this. This lady is a mechanic and apparently a very talented mechanic. And the boys at work found out she also has an OnlyFans account where she shows LeCouter and they fired her. Hypocrites! So the guys were harassing her at work and talking about it because she had created all this problem.

Oh, fuck them. By having this OnlyFans. It might encourage her coworkers to approach you with an unwanted sexual conduct or comments. So that's why they fired her. Please, give me a break. You know the wives cult. First of all, let's cut the shit. She should be happy.

This is going to make her way famous. Way more people are paying attention to her OnlyFans account than ever would have ever before. Congratulations. You hit the lottery. You worked with creeps, and you played it well, and you got paid. And they did you a favor by firing you. They did you a favor. Also, my car is making a weird squeaky noise.

Could she help me? Seriously, hit me up, girl. I could use a little work under the hood, if you know what I'm saying. What were we just saying when we were talking about OnlyFans accounts just before that? Buttholes? No, no, no, no. We What were we just saying when we were talking about OnlyFans accounts just before that? Buttholes? No, no, no, no. We passed that. Fitness accounts?

You were talking about fitness models? The fitness influencers. Like, before, like, who was the first one? Dude, it might have been fucking Jane Fonda. Oh, she's the OG.

Or Olivia Newton-John. No, Jane Fonda was way before Olivia Newton-John. Jane Fonda, didn't she do, after movies, she was doing videos.

She got into fitness. Why do you think she looks that good? She's like 172. She's not that old. No, she's like 82. I think you're exaggerating. I am exaggerating. Yes, but you're right.

She was like the first fitness influencer. Yes, she was. She was making videos back in the 70s and 80s. Can you name one other one from that era? Susan Summers. Well, she's the fat one, though. She just wanted to lose fat. But that's her thing.

It was about losing fat. She's the fat one? I meant the losing fat one. That was her thing. Stop the insanity. Just eat a potato, right? Wait, stop the insanity. That's not Susan Summers.

Stop the insanity. It's Susan Powder. You're right. Susan Summers is Thighmaster. Thighmaster. Three's Company. Susan Powder was the fat lady. I'm sorry, Susan Summers. Yeah,. You're right. Suzanne Somers is a thigh master. Thigh master. Three's company. Susan Powder was the fat lady. I'm sorry, Suzanne Somers.

I meant the other one. The other one. Suzanne Powder was the one with the shaved head. Told you to eat a potato every day. Stop the insanity. Put the fucking cake down. Just eat potatoes, right? Wasn't that her thing?

Eat potatoes. Don't be fat practice. If you just eat potatoes, you will lose weight. It does work because you're so bored. You don't eat that much. And so your body just naturally starts eating itself and you get thinner and weaker. It's congratulations. It's fucking terrible.

Congratulations. You tried to survive on potatoes. Yeah, Suzanne Sommer is another one, right? And she did those videos. After Three's Company, she did the Thighmaster videos. Thighmaster is that thing of squeezing your pussy together. Is that like the most sexually suggestive of all athletic devices? Like how many people are really concentrating on firming up the center of their thigh?

A lot of bitches. Come on. That was like also the first OnlyFans account. She's out there just doing Kegels. Yeah, that's a Kegel. I mean, it's like an outside Kegel. Yeah, it's like you're tightening up all the muscles. It's like, are you working your neck muscles?

No, I'm just doing traps. You're working your neck muscles. You got to do your Kegels. It's the same thing. Especially in quarantine, there? No, I'm just doing traps. You're working your neck muscles. You gotta do your Kegels. Especially in quarantine, there's plenty of time to be doing it. Squeeze that pussy. You gotta squeeze that pussy. There she is. Make it tight. Look at her. Make it tight, make it right. She has a phenomenal body. Good lord. Who was your lady of your

youth that you liked? Everyone liked Farrah Fawcett. Everybody liked her. Suzanne Somers was hot. She was like the rare combination of hot and funny. What about like... When she was on Three's Company. Oh yeah, she was. You're right. She was like the rare combination of hot and funny. What about like- When she was on Three's Company. Oh yeah, she was. You're right. She was talented.

Did you ever watch the whole story of that? It was like one of those behind the scenes stories. There was a contract dispute. Were they all boning? Suzanne Somers. John Ritter? No, I think she wanted more money. Yes, that's right.

Yeah, John Ritter was making the lion's share of the loop. And she was like, yo, what the fuck? We need to have favored nations here. There was one season where she was on vacation, and she would call into the show. No, I'm not kidding. She was on the phone talking to them. That was all she was in.

Because the contract was in negotiation? Well, I think either they were punishing her, or because of the contract negotiation, they didn't want her to be a major part of the show where she could hold the show up. So they said, look, you've got to have one scene and we could delete it if we want to. She's like, fuck you. Do you know how strong my pussy is? I will break you.

I think she developed a strong pussy as a response to this. She probably did. This tyranny on set. I'm going to fucking snap it off. You've got to do your Kegels. Guys can do Kegels too. Ooh. Ew.

You mean your asshole? Is that what you're saying? No, it's pelvic floor exercise. Dudes fucking snap it off. You got to do your Kegels. Guys can do Kegels too. Ooh. Ew. Yeah. You mean your asshole? Is that what you're saying? No, it's a pelvic floor exercise. You can, dudes can do it too. It's a good dude exercise. So you don't, you know, I don't know if you guys have a pant pissing issue like women do when they get a little older. Oh Jesus.

Women with kids, they laugh too hard. They piss themselves. Which is what I'm going for at my show is I want bitches to piss their pants. I bet you've done it already. You don't even know. It should be a list. going for at my show because I want bitches to piss their pants. I bet you've done it already. You don't even know. It should be a list. It should be an app where every time you pissed yourself at a comedy show

you could click it and you'd like to see which person makes women piss themselves the most. It's no longer laughter. It's all about the piss factor. I made bitches piss. It's not an indicator for everybody but for some people it's an undeniable indicator.

Yes. Like if someone in the middle, like we have a, you say you didn't laugh at the show. That's interesting, Tammy. Because it shows here when Jessie Mae hit that punchline, you pissed your pants. It says it right here. We read the thong factor here. Stop being a fucking hater. There's some saturation in that little slice of cotton.

Yeah, you're all red as soon as the punchline hits. That's piss. Okay? That're all red. As soon as the punchline hits, that's piss. That's obviously piss. Dirty, moist underwear lady. What do you think is going to happen to all this? Are we going to be back on the road? No. Fuck. Not for a while. Yeah. I think people are going to be weirded out. Despite all these studies that have come out and people keep sending me more and more articles that are being written saying that this is not as dangerous as the flu. But that's not really true because they're basing it on how much people die, how many people die from the flu every year when we don't quarantine. Right. So this is quarantining and the amount of people is equal to or greater than most seasonal

flus. And it's faster. It's a little more aggressive. It's very aggressive. But it's also weird because some people get it and nothing. So it's confusing because it's a new thing. It is very confusing. Because it's a new disease.

Look, we're very lucky it's not targeting babies and children. We're very, very lucky. Yeah. You know, we're very lucky. Yeah. And it sucks that it's targeting old people and it sucks that it's targeting, obesity seems to be the number one thing. They said New York City.

It was the number one thing that the patients that had the roughest times with it had in common. I mean, obesity, that's like one of the number two killer. It's like, it's way up there. I mean, diabetes, it's such a, if you're obese, you're susceptible to most of the diseases and issues that arise with people. I think that's also what scares people about opioids as opposed to cigarettes. Cigarettes kill you, but they kill you slow.

Yeah, it is a slow burn. No pun intended. They play it nice. So is obesity. Obesity is slow and painful and expensive. And then your joints go... It's brutal. I mean, it looks painful for people. Remember like the

Maury Povich show where they would have to like. How about Ralphie? Oh, man. When Ralphie was alive, it was rough. And was he, I'm not trying to be disrespectful to him at all, but at his point of passing, was he at his heaviest? I don't think so. I wonder if he had fluctuated throughout. He fluctuated.

He even had some operations. But talk about somebody stapled who obviously experienced a lot of you know a lot of pain a lot of pain yeah but the nicest guy very nice guy just a ball of joy my ball's probably a bad term ah too late he would have laughed he would have laughed for sure he would have laughed for sure it's like you know it's not anyone's hope that your baby boy grows up to be morbidly obese it's not anybody's hope no and this is the difference between the way i look at people now as opposed to 20 years ago pre-k pre-kids bk before children before kids the whole thing seems like a different enterprise to me.

The whole thing in terms of who you are and what is life. And so much of it is based on like if you wanted to look at it like this big old problem. Like what's causing the majority of the issues in this big problem, this complex thing that you're trying to solve? Well, the biggest issue seems to be the childhood thing. The biggest issue seems to be the love, the experience in the house, how you're raised. The lack thereof. Those are the motivating factors. And it's positive and negative.

It's not a simple equation. No, it's not. Because we're just talking about Joey. Everyone loves Joey. We love Joey. But you don't make a Joey if everything's great. No. If you are there for your kid and the kid never does drugs, never holds someone hostage with a machine gun and a Coke deal gone bad, of all those things that Joey's done, if everything goes great, your kid never does those things.

No. You're not breastfeeding on time all the time with that kid. No. But as Joey got through that, he became this rare thing that everybody loves. And it's precisely because of all that struggle. So it's a real conundrum. It is a conundrum because struggle can either define you in a beneficial way or it defines everything that's bad about you. And all the negativity is just reinforced because you're still connected to that pain and trauma.

You're behaving ways to, you know, go back, revert back to that time in your life where you were experiencing pain because it's a connection. It's a connection. That was the only love that you had. Sure. Sure. And everybody has things in their life they have to process. Things that have been done to them, things that they do. And you need some sort of a purging of your past to accept who you are as a person. And that is one of the reasons why I like juj is something that you experienced that has caused you the most pain or

maybe, you know, trauma or something that you experienced? Bombing at the store. That is fucking painful to your core. I'm still hurting from going on after Martin Lawrence in the nineties. Was he so funny? And I'm not kidding.

Was he so funny? Oh dude. When I first came to the comic store, by the way, I sucked. Okay. I was so funny? Oh, dude. When I first came to the Comedy Store, by the way, I sucked, okay? I was like 26 or 27. And Martin Lawrence was on top of the world. He was wearing leather jumpsuits on stage and murdering.

He was so funny. The place would be packed with people to see Martin Lawrence. And he would destroy in the main room. Would it feel like a rock show? Would it have that energy, like eclectic energy? It would be, it was nerve wracking. First of all, because I had been a Martin Lawrence fan, like when I was an open miker, right?

So I had been a fan like from early on when I had first seen him on television and then he's doing movies. Then I've seen his television specials and then I'm at the store and here I'm going on right after Martin Lawrence. And not just once. Like Mitzi put on right after Martin Lawrence and not just once. Like Mitzi put me on after Martin Lawrence like fucking every time I had a spot. That's boot camp. Right after Martin.

No. That is boot camp. First of all, most of the audience would just get up and leave. Like when Martin Lawrence is done, the fucking show's over. They want to follow it. They want to go after the rock star. You don't, you know, you produce all that like electric energy in the room and then they want to go after that. It happens when you're on stage. They want to go home. That's. You produce all that electric energy in the room, and then they want to go after that.

It happens when you're on stage. They want to go home. That's what they want. The show's over. They're exhausted. They've exhausted their laughter. They've seen Martin Lawrence. That's what they came to see.

But I've seen people do that to you at the store, where you get off, and they're like, we've got to go talk to Joe. We've got to get some of that. They want to get some of that energy from you. Balls. Don't do that. I'm just like this because I have two hands. Mine are not quite that big.

You have chimpanzee balls. I have normal-sized balls. Joey's got something preposterous. No, Joey's are like gorillas. You're probably... No, gorillas have little dicks and little balls. Actually, they have little ones. That's right.

Yeah, because they take care of the harem. They don't have a competition. Yeah, there's no competition. So what's Joey's deal? Does he have competition in the house? They also don't eat meat. Just growing up, I'm sure he had a lot of competition. That's how it developed. His nuts are

traumatized from his childhood. That's my friend Dr. Chris Ryan. He talks about that all the time. That competitive like if you look at the size of the testicles of chimpanzees, there's a direct correlation between the size of their nuts

and then how promiscuous the females are. Because if the females are hoes, their balls just keep getting bigger and bigger. These dirty bitches are out there fucking everybody and I'm going to fuck them better and they're just building up bigger and bigger loads. It's wild. Just that whole process, the load

that a guy releases and all of those sperm are competing. Every single one. It's a whole army and all of those sperm are competing. Every single one. It's a whole army and they're all competing to get to the fucking end. Do you remember when the orcs attacked the elves in Game of Thrones? Yes. When they came, rah! That's sperm.

That's the loads. Do you think they're screaming? Do you think they're screaming in there? Yeah, mine are for sure. Mine are screaming. Mine are screaming. Do you think there's like the chariots of fires playing as well? It's like an unintelligent noise that you would expect like a demon to be screaming.

If it was coming over a hill chasing you like. Yeah, it is demonic. That's all come screams. That's what I think. Come screams. Hello, special title. Think about the speed that it's projecting. It's coming flying out of you.

It's screaming. And so much. Yeah, I think, what else comes shooting out of you like that? It literally shoots out. Tears? Not like that. If your tears shoot out like that. You haven't met my sisters.

I mean, it's literally like it's trying to get up in there. Yeah. I mean, that's what it is. It's like, boom. Of course they're screaming. Yeah. Wouldn't it be cool if you could hear them?

I wonder if it would change how often people fuck or the way guys shoot. Like if you could hear the sperm screaming I wonder if they'd be that as many like money shots.

I wonder if your plants do better if they hear you fuck. Your plants? Yeah. Absolutely. If you have your plants around you and you're fucking. Absolutely.

Because if you think with music, if music helps, what if we could find out that if you fuck while you listen to Prince you get 75% more biomass? Wait, 75% less?

He was so little. No. But the music is so big. It was so big. If you're listening to Purple Rain while you're fucking and the trunks just keep getting thicker on all your plants.

That's interesting though. I wonder if music does persuade the successfulness of the pregnancy and someone getting pregnant. That's a good question, right? Because if having Mozart play for your growing baby makes them a little bit more able to be intelligent and make smarter choices, maybe it can sort of help people get pregnant quicker. When I was a kid kid i was one of the first generations of people that had a walkman okay so when i was working out i was going to the gym back in like the fucking 80s all right when i was in high school and i was wrestling i would

have a cassette player i was as i would like sit on my hip i had like this fucking neoprene belt or some shit i forget how it strapped in. But this cassette player and headphones and I would go to the gym and you could listen to your own music at the gym. This shit was unheard of. Do you understand this? Unheard of. And I remember doing leg presses

to Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses. And I remember thinking how strong I felt because of this music. Oh, your daughters are going to be fine. And so I got off the leg press, and I was like, that's crazy,

because I literally felt like I had more energy. Like something happened. I wanted to fucking go harder because of the music. And I was like, okay, that is like, it's doing something. I know it's exciting me, and that's making, but what else is going on? Well, music's the only thing that stimulates all areas of your brain simultaneously.

It's one of the only things. Have you done studies on this? That's what I've read off of your Twitter feed. Music stimulates everything, including nail growth. Including your sperm success. All of it. It's kind of true. Thank you, Jamie.

I did read the book. There's a book on Audible. So I listened to this book. You read it. You're a doctor. Called Music on the Brain. I honestly even think the person who is doing most of the talking is someone that's been on the podcast. I can't remember off the top of my head who it was.

But they were talking about when you're running. off the top of my head who it was. But they were talking about when you're running. So if you're listening to music at a loud volume, that takes an amount of brain power just to be processing that. Add that on top of the physical activity you're doing, that takes brain power to do, plus the endorphins, plus all the chemical process.

There is something that happens there. It has been studied. I cannot regurgitate it, obviously. I only know it because of... But that would imply that it's actually... it hinders performance because it requires resources. Resources to listen to music and then resources to run. But not necessarily if it's engaging. If the entire brain is being engaged, I would think it would enhance the ability for you to exercise and maybe some of the...

Maybe get out of your own way. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. The only reason I know about it is because with research with Alzheimer's, they say when the Alzheimer's patients reach a certain level or even just early on in their diagnosis, that music can help alleviate some of the stresses and anxieties that are associated with the disease. And because it activates the parts of the brain, most of the parts of the stresses and anxieties that are associated with the disease and because it activates the parts of the brain most of the parts of the brain that it is thought to be a therapy

for people who have alzheimer's that makes sense yeah because it's doing something to juice up your brain i will tell you like benefit like so almost like a sauna for your brain exactly like during the last two weeks of my dad's life he could not communicate couldn't eat his motor function functions and everything had just stopped. We played Sinatra. That motherfucker didn't talk for two weeks. We played Sinatra. He started to sing.

Wow. Which song? Fly Me to the Moon, ironically. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. He started to sing. And he also, the last thing he laughed at was a fart. That's hilarious.

Speaking of fart, let's fire up the black ash is that what it's called this is Donnell's I love personal man my man sells candles I love done I mixed up two things I listen to them at the same time though so there's a book called music in your brain which is by I believe his name is sorry, I just had it. Sleviton was his last name. Oh, yeah. Steve, I believe. Steven Levinthal. I think I have that book. Yes.

And then I also listened to a separate thing, which was by someone who has been here, Steven Novella. Your Deceptive Mind. He hasn't been here. Which is a scientific.

He hasn't? No. Oh, I thought he has. No. I'm sorry. Deceptive Mind. There's so many guests. It's hard.

Don't worry about it. I mean, we're at like 1,500 guests. So Sean Carroll interviewed someone that did a podcast on the music in the brain. I think that's where I was confusing the person. Ah, okay. I mean, isn't that interesting, though? I listen to a lot of stuff about it. Donnell's candle does not want to stay lit.

Well, the key to candles is you have to burn them until you have to cut them. First of all, you need to cut the wick, and then you have to let them burn until the whole area is melted so that it burns equally all the way down. That looks like a disaster. This is a mess. Yeah, it's a mess. It's no surprise. Somebody sent me one, it's like Bernie Sanders as Jesus.

I'm like, who's I'm going to guess you got that from, did that come from Vermont? I hope so. It will be authentic. This is not going to stay lit. I'm going to have to got that from like, did that come from Vermont? I hope so. It will be authentic. This is not going to stay lit. I'm going to have to do surgery on this candle thing. Yeah. You got to cut out some of that goo.

See, this is, but this is a guy that's industrial. He's figuring out what to do. Industrious. Figuring out what to do. Like, I know what I'll do. I'll sell some fucking candles. Yeah. That's, you know.

It actually smells good. Oh shit, it seems to be working. That's why I made a butthole candle. Congratulations on that. But so did you, are you openly admitting that you were inspired by Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candle? Hell yeah. I was like, where's the butthole candle, girl?

How many of these butthole candles have you sold? We haven't even opened yet. I don't even think the shop's going to be open soon. Website. What does it really smell like? Like how do you create a butthole smell? It's sweet with a little bit of weather. Like swamp fog?

Well, yeah, thank you. Swamp fog, which they won't be at Coachella this year because it's canceled. They're opening for Jarrett Leto's band. Coming to the stage, swamp fog.

The girls just queef out a cloud. the girls just queef out a cloud yeah I just I did get inspired by Gwyneth Gwyneth is Gwyneth whatever her fucking name is just call her Goop yeah Goop's candle Goop's whole setup did you try one of them jade eggs in your twat who

that was one of her things she wanted people to put jade eggs inside your vajayjay. No. You know what? Yes, they did. I've been putting bleach tampons up there for too long. Like enough. We got to like go easy on the cooch.

We have to go gentle. Here's the thing that men are never fucking aware of. Toxic shock syndrome. It's real. Killed a lot of women from fucking tampons. Oh, and imagine, like, you lose limbs, too. If you're lucky, you catch it early enough, you lose a limb.

How crazy is that? Because think about it. It's this little piece of cotton. I mean, it's happened to me a couple times where you're like, I think there might be a stowaway up there. I'm not sure. There might be somebody hopping the train. I need to check and see if there's any passengers in the caboose. I heard a bit about tampons. I'm just remembering. That be somebody hopping the train. I need to check and see if there's any pass

Tampons, I'm just remembering that's like that a tampon was actually invented by men Yeah, but it seems like a male invention a male invention to a female problem That we don't have like what stuff It's like hit it like you guys to fix things you smack them around why you still stuffing things up there? I agree. I mean that is a a temple. You need to be gentle with your coochie and we're just jamming it. I know girls who will throw up a leg

on the bathtub, on the wall of the bathtub and just jam it up there with one finger just recklessly. You gotta go easy. It seems like also it can't be good for it.

Like that blood's supposed to come out. It's not supposed to get stuck up there. No, it's, I definitely take it easy with the, you know, the clitty cat down there. I go gentle with it.

Do you think that's nature's way, like before tampons were invented, trying to gross out the male monkeys? Like, oh, well, we flush it out. Just have it all come out. I think there's probably something to at least keeping... Discouraging. Discouraging people to stay away from the girl so she can recover and recuperate some of those nutrients lost in that blood. I'm sure there's something to that.

There's something with gypsies where when women bleed, I think it's called gaja or something like that, where when they bleed, traditionally people leave them alone and they stay in their cabin or wherever they're living and everyone just leaves them alone during that week. If someone brings up gypsies, I think of two things. Tyson Fury and werewolves. That's what I think of. Like the gypsy lady reading your palm. You of the mark of the wolf.

Werewolves would be cool. If you could pick one creature to be real. I feel like I know the answer to this because I'm your friend. If you could pick one mystical creature to be real and exist now, what would it be? Werewolf would be pretty cool. I think Squatch would be great. Squatch would be very cool.

That'd probably be the coolest. And the most reasonable. For sure, some Russian guy would hunt him and kill him. Yeah, for sure. Putin. For sure. He'd have him on the wall. Yeah, Putin would have it stuffed in his office and people would be real mad.

I love that you're saying this. Meanwhile, there's like a fucking caribou. I don't know what that is. It's an elk. An elk. That's a water buffalo invasive species. I just imagine a Sasquatch head over. No, those are primates.

Yeah, that's a, when you get into the primate, like nobody gives a fuck about rats. Like literally nobody gives a fuck about rats. And they're taking over New York City. They're having rat wars. Have you paid attention to that? Oh yeah, they fight, they kill each other they if somebody comes they take over territories because there's no more food there's no more no more restaurants open those little rats are out in the streets same amount of rats but no food they're so smart they're so smart it's like that

they're desperado too we talked about that like you know the the thing when the test they did with the rats yes and it becomes like this global consciousness that they have and they get smarter from a test that's done way far away. Explain what that means. What they did was on one side of the planet. Make sure this is true too. I think it was. Pretty sure it's true.

Look at Jamie's smirking. They taught a mouse how to go through a maze on one side of the planet. Might be a rat. Might be a mouse. On one side of the planet. And then the mice on the other side of the planet went through the be a rat. It might be a mouse. On one side of the planet, and then the mice on the other side of the planet went through the maze quicker because of that. Is that true?

That would be in the morphic resonance area. Rupert Sheldrake. Yeah. Yeah. He was on the podcast way back in the Dizzee. Yeah, it's a very controversial idea. Well, it's because there's, how do you gauge that?

It's very difficult to go, this is the result of that. The cause and effect is a little, it's a little cloudy there. You know what I think? And this is just one of the – I think of this sometimes. I'm not married to this. But I think that you have the possibility to occasionally get these glimpses of maybe senses that are evolving in human beings.

And you can call it intuition. You can call it some connection you have with somebody, especially with someone you really love like your family or loved ones or someone you really care about and you think about them and then they call it's almost like man does there was some sort of a connection between people that just comes in and out it goes in and out sometimes you're thinking about someone they text you like is that just total coincidence? It might be. But it also might be that there's some weird, hard to define, impossible to measure connection that we all share with each other. I think it's a beautiful way to look at it. I thought about that one day when I was just, you know, thinking about my dad. I was traveling and it made me think about thoughts and how thoughts are almost like messages we send

out into the universe to just let somebody else know they're not alone and maybe they grab them through some way it's through some realm or portal and it's it's important to like conversation is so important because of that because it makes it reminds you of things and you draw associations I was talking about my father one day and you know, John Heffron? Yeah, sure. He sent me a message and it was while my dad was sick and I was just, you know, very upset about it. And John was just like, you know, I went through the same thing that you did. I want to let you know that like hearing is one of the last senses to go when people are sick. So just so you know that your dad can still hear you. And I had been afraid to call my dad during this whole process because I didn't want to know what he had forgotten.

And so I John sent me that message on a Sunday. And because he sent me that message, it made me think about my dad. And I was like, you know, I haven't called him in so long. I'm just going to call him tonight. It was like four o'clock in the morning East Coast time. He was in his, you know, the what is it like hospice? What's the last place that people go? Is it like the nursing home is usually like right before people are passing?

I think it's like a nursing home. Well, nursing homes certainly are a place where a lot of people wind up passing. I think that's he went from memory care facility to the nursing home and I called the night nurse. And my dad couldn't talk at that point. But because I said something and John thought about it and sent me this DM I'd never met him before and that DM made me want to call my dad and I and I called the night nurse it was like four o'clock in the morning in Syracuse New York and I go I know my dad can't hear me right now but can you just tell him that I love him and I'm thinking about him and and Karen I think her name

was she said sure I can go in and I'll tell him I'll whisper it into his ear and that And that was about four o'clock. And you know, about what was that one o'clock here, whatever the time differences. And so I fell asleep. My sister calls me about 20 minutes later. My dad passed away right after the nurse went in to tell him that. And I can consider that a coincidence. Sure. We can chalk it up to a coincidence, or it could be what you're speaking about, where there is some sort of deep connection that we have that we can't express or articulate with words. Even though these words that were sent to me are the thing that motivated me to talk to my dad, there's something to the effect that maybe there's something mystical going on. Maybe there's something that we're not meant to explain.

Maybe the problem is the word mystical. The problem is that we're looking at it like it's some sort of a magic thing. And we're calling bullshit because so many people pretend to have it and don't. And there's no real science to sort of back it up. There's zero. Yeah. And there's also been like the amazing Randy's put out a reward where James Randy, I think it's a million dollars if you can prove any psychic ability and no one's been able to win it. Well, how do you prove

things of the brain? You'd have to do it through, well, here's the thing. If it is let's just go wild here. If it is an emerging, he would never allow this. He would cut this off. Never allow this kind of nonsense. He doesn't want the curtain behind it. He would entertain it with a scientific perspective. But

if you're looking at something like an emerging characteristic of human beings, for instance, we know that we used to be single-celled organisms. It's very unlikely that during the time we were single-celled organisms, we could talk or we could feel or we could do interpretive dance. No one was writing books when we were single-celled organisms. So as these single-celled organisms become multi-celled organisms, become human beings, things are getting more and more complex and more and more skills and more and more senses and more and more of an ability to manipulate their environment.

And I think that it only makes sense that there could be some non-local connection that we have to each other, some way without just touching or talking or through visual. There's some sort of a connection that we have with each other that we just haven't evolved yet. It's on the way. It's coming. It's coming. And that's why we long for it.

That's why we're really interested in psychics. We're really interested in people that know the future, not just because we want to know what the future is. We want some sort of a feeling of hope. And interconnectivity. Yeah, but it's not just that. It's also that I think we know there's something to it. Well, I think we know there's something grander beyond just this physical existence that we have.

And then it brings up the whole conversation about the creation or existence an introduction of consciousness consciousness when does that come into the picture when did it come into the picture right when was the first thing conscious and what is consciousness is it just sentience is just being aware and looking out for yourself because then deer are conscious are rats conscious because it seems they're pretty conscious too. It seems like there, I think there's a spectrum to consciousness. And I think that one that we're talking about is the beyond, you know, that like consciousness that next level where it's got to go somewhere, right? It's got to go somewhere.

I mean, look at our brains. Our brains are these, our brains are like a universe in of itself. And it's, they're in the darkness until death. I mean, you can't even, there's no way to really, besides like graphs and everything, to really understand the workings of the brain. I mean, it's firing, all this electricity is going off and these little teeny molecules are doing jobs. And there's like we said earlier, sometimes it works great.

And sometimes it's dog shit. Yeah's really wild person it's really it's it's so it's so crazy and then there's like this thing that happens in the brain and in the body this like immune response where they send out this molecule it's almost like a paul revere of molecules where it lets all the other uh molecules in the body know that some shit's about to go down. It's like a warning. Right, like adrenaline. Like a warning response.

Yeah, but like little teeny, there's actual little microscopic things that are doing these jobs. Who, what the fuck, how do they start their day? Right. Are they waking up like Joe Rogan and going working out for an hour? You don't even know they're there. No, you don't even know. That's why I fucking talk to him, bro.

Dude, I get it. I think it's a good idea. I was joking around, but also being serious. Like what you were saying you could do for plants. Why wouldn't you do it for yourself? Why wouldn't you? I mean. Self-help.

Everything is made up of things we can't see. Self-love, right? Self-love is made up of things we can't see self-love right self-love is the most important thing you can express and i think yeah if you don't love yourself that's where the breakdown in the chain is you know we're talking about this whole podcast we've been talking about like trauma and pain and along that life time what determines one person becoming a joe rogan or joey diaz or even know, somebody who goes on to become a politician or doctor, whatever it is. What determines them going from that direction to people who are committing crimes? Yeah, for sure.

There's something on a microscopic cellular level that is determining these things and in self-love is is a tool to use to sort of I think help help you put yourself on the trajectory of a positive life yeah no I agree but I think it's just it's hard for people to just change gears right it's hard for people who aren't healthy to be healthy it's hard for people don't eat well to eat well it's hard for people who are kind of lazy to get their shit together and be disciplined. You're going to get tired, you know? And if you're that person that automatically seeks comfort and nothingness all the time anyway, it's going to be hard for you. Yeah. It's going to be really hard. And what are your reinforcements and what are you reinforcing? This is where I think events are very, there's amazing opportunity in events.

And this is a big event. What do you mean? Events like this pandemic. Okay. I was thinking of like Bonnaroo. Terrible. I was. I took it because I miss it.

I miss like, you know, events and going out. Oh, I get it. I see what you're saying. This pandemic. This moment in time where everything stops. And there's like, okay. Like, have you watched any television since then and see people without masks and see people

hugging and shaking hands and you go, ah! Ah! Right? Already. We've only been on lockdown for a month or so and already we freak out when we see people hold hands in movies. We see people kiss people they barely know. You're like, that bitch can have the COVID. It's changing behavior.

It's that scary. It is scary because this is what I've been telling people forever when it comes to places like china and people like i can't believe that china's this military dictatorship in 2020 yeah and if you're not careful that could happen here oh absolutely that can happen anywhere if you're lazy enough but it's here's we have to understand this if it exists anywhere it it can exist here and we get all complacent in this idea that that could never happen to us and we're too fucking smart. Do you know how many people are rethinking their thoughts on safety, on security, on guns, on the food chain, the food supply chain? People are rethinking just basic survival right now.

Well, that's scary. Yeah. And it becomes that sort of desperation factor. Isn't this like we were talking about us being so comfortable? We're due for some shit. Well, this is it. We're due for some destruction. This is a trial run because this ain't shit compared to a big earthquake.

If an asteroid hits, like there's a big asteroid that's flying by, it's a mile wide, and it's going to fly by Earth soon. A mile wide. Do you know what a mile wide piece of rock from space would do if it hit us? It's a planet ender. I would think it would leave a dent or two.

It's a planet ender. Everything's over. Maybe that's the silver lining. Maybe the silver lining is that we're getting a little bit of a taste of what a real, you know, more devastating global pandemic looks like. And that's going to be the deciding factor on our preparations for something in the future occurring. Yeah.

They didn't know, but now they do. So now that they do, there better be plans in place for all those other possibilities, like those super volcanoes, like the asteroid impacts. We better reintroduce the pandemic department and get those fuckers their job back well we don't even know if they really went away i mean we're both morons let's be honest we shouldn't be talking about this you know you're a moron rude but accurate it is very accurate i'm a fucking moron you're a moron i am a moron we're all we're all morons i love you you're great moron i love you too um but this this is now we understand that the way things have been is not necessarily the way things always will be and things definitely not things can get a whole lot weirder so we should be fucking careful we should be careful but we should also be grateful i think this is a

silver the silver lining hopefully will be us learning how to prepare a little bit more and in you know not argue and Debate over these stupid things that don't fucking matter right? But I think the reason why we're going on and on about stupid shit was because we didn't have something like this because life was Too easy. Yeah, well shit. It's never good. Complacency breeds contempt, right? And that's on a global scale, that's detrimental. I think it's familiarity breeds contempt.

Yeah, that as well. Complacency, what does it breed? Complacency. Did I just make up a cliche? Complacency makes fat asses and not the pH kind. Complacency is a dangerous thing. Does anybody say pH fat anymore? That's not real anymore right

that's fat that was like i think that died in like the 90s is he are we googling it says contempt was the first thing failure failure complacency breeds mediocrity or contempt oh interesting so familiarity breeds contempt and complacency. Everything is breeding contempt. We're familiar with our complacency. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we need to know what's important. And I think now we have a better sense of it. So the real question is whether or not we can learn.

Because people are good at adjustments when they have to make adjustments. But then when things slide back, they get this sort of the thing we were talking about earlier where you don't want to look at all the possibilities because you will freak out, especially if you're doing edibles. Hell yeah. Right. I've been staring away from the edibles. I mean, I have been doing the blunts, but I think people will change when their livelihood

and survival is threatened. Yes. But will they change to protect themselves or will they change to adapt a new way of life to protect the greater good? Because I want to be on an earth of people who are protecting human race, not Bob Johnson. You know what I mean? Oh, not an individual.

Right, because then we're just back at square one. Well, if you look at the history of people, we're doing way better now than we were before, right? There's obviously been some peaks and valleys and some mistakes, and we're also aware that you can kind of navigate the future intelligently. And if you navigate the future intelligently, you make less and less mistakes. I think we just now have to reassess the nature of our momentum, the nature of the society that we're creating and what we're trying to do. And also the impact that we're having. I know this is not sustainable for people to not work and stay home for months.

It's not sustainable. I'm well aware. But it's also amazing for the earth. If you look at the pictures they've taken about the sky above L.A. I mean, I went on a hike early on. I could see all the way to like Pasadena. It smells different. It does.

It doesn't smell like butt and gasoline. It doesn't smell like you're being poisoned by a little bit. And you are. It's not the same as smoking but it's right right next door and that environmental stress that constant exposure to environment environmental stress i mean that affects your mood that affects your health we've got to all move out into the rural area and ruin that that's what we gotta do we gotta ruin that and where the fuck are we gonna go where are we gonna go we gotta go on another planet with Biden and L. Ron Hubbard. People in South Dakota right now are going, stay out of here.

Get out. People in Arizona are like, fuck. Fuck, I know. Arizona's going to be the new LA. I mean, we're all going to have to move there. Arizona, you can have a gun. It's easy to get a gun. Cheap house.

Yeah, cheap house. You just have to watch out for the cactus that shoot needles at you. You're literally living inside of Satan's dick for three months out of the year, though. For three months out of the year, it's 145,000 degrees. It's a brutal existence. People aren't meant to live in the desert. Everything's dry, crispy, and trying to kill you. You ever hear the noises at night?

It's like, what was that creature? Coyotes and rattlesnakes and occasionally they have jaguars. You know, that's one of the rare places in North America, outside of Mexico, that we occasionally see jaguars. Yeah, they have jaguars that have been spotted on trail cams. And the biologists, these wildlife biologists, watch it very carefully because there's never been a really strong, at least there's no real history of a really strong supply of jaguars in this country. It's primarily a Central and South American animal, as well as a Mexican animal.

Is it something that got loose from Joe Exotics Park? No, it's a real fucking jaguar that made its way from Mexico. I mean, its habitat is just deteriorating, and it's cruising around Arizona. That's wild. It picked a shit spot. Imagine being a jaguar and you're dealing with the drug trade. You think you're the

number one problem. And then there's these cartels that are sneaking in coke and just fucking shooting at you. You're like, shit, I thought I was running things out here. And then you got a cousin who's like a cousin jaguar who lives up in Oregon. He's like, bro, you got to come up here. There's so many trees. It's nice. You can breathe. Look at this motherfucker wandering around. I think I have that tattooed on me. So see the skin down there in the middle side where they're looking at?

They found out that this one jaguar that they had been spotting on trail cameras had been killed in Mexico. And what, turned into a fucking rug? They turned him into a rug, yeah. How do you feel about that? As somebody who hunts all these... Oh my god, look at the teeth.

I know. Open that. Look at that. Holy shit, that's insane. That's what women see right before men go down on them. That's what it looks like. Dude, that picture is amazing. That's beautiful.

You should frame that shit. I need that picture in my office, right? Jamie, we need it on metal. That's beautiful. Get that, please. I've got to find it. Find it. Take a screenshot right now.

Find that. That needs to be in the studio. It looks like it's in a habitat, though. Don't lose it. Don't lose it. It looks like it's an enclosure. That is probably a Republican lose it. Don't lose it. It looks like it's an enclosure. That is probably a Republican website. Look, jaguars are returning to southern Arizona.

You see it biting. Yeah. Look at the size of that fucker. It's in an encampment. Yeah, that's in a zoo. But just still, look at the size of that fucker. Look at this lady. They're like 200 pounds, those fucking cats.

They're big. Wow. Yeah, they're big. They're solo hunters, right? Well, when you trip balls, apparently, in the Amazon, when the guys do ayahuasca

in the Amazon, they see jaguars. Like a jaguar entity comes to you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see like jaguar spirits. You need to get away out of your own shelf.

I just think... I don't know why it was... I don't know why he did that voice. But I think there's a really interesting theory about why that is. And the theory is that the more people take a psychedelic drug, the more their experience and who they are becomes a part of the psychedelic experience for the next person.

Whoa. It goes back to that consciousness. Right. So when these people are tripping on ayahuasca in a place where they've been tripping on ayahuasca for 10,000 years, they see things that these people who've tripped before them were terrified of, like snakes and jaguars and fucking dragons that come from the sky. Have you done ayahuasca? Only done DMT, which is the chemical version of ayahuasca. I haven't done- So it's like synthetic.

You don't throw up and you don't shit your pants and it only lasts 20 minutes. That's not fun. I want to shart and not have to explain myself. I'm very interested in doing it i just had i would have to carve away the time to get ready for it and also uh make sure i'm doing it with someone who's a reputable person it's just and then the problem is that it's it's not legal so it should be legal i have a friend who's really working on what i mean it's not legal so you don't you never know what you're getting. You have to get through word of mouth.

You know, you have to trust people. It's always sketchy. It's always sketchy. Whenever you're dealing with anything, whether it's mushrooms or any LSD,

Anything that affects the brain. Yeah, well, if someone's offering you some incredibly potent thing and you don't have a chain of command,

you don't have a lab this came from, you don't know, like, when you get into the world of psychedelic drugs, it becomes very fucking weird. You have to tread lightly. You have to tread very, very

lightly. There's no FDA. There's no FDA. There's no FDA for it. And so you're right. You're dependent upon these people who are doing these journeys and trips in their homes. My friend Jackie Stang has a really cool psychedelic platform. I think it's

called Meatdelic. And she promotes healthy ways to have a journey. The one thing she says, because I've talked to her about it, I'm like, I want to do it, but I'm scared. She always says safety first. It's so important to be safe. You need a sitter. And the environment needs

to be right. I've never done it, but I would only go off of someone like that who is like, you know, knows the steps. Well, you know, we were talking earlier about people that try to get away from the trauma of childhood. And one of the better ways that people have found is through psychedelic therapy. And psychedelic therapy through MDMA has helped a lot of soldiers. And MAPS is currently working on some studies doing that. But also people that have taken psychedelic mushrooms have had great relief from some of the pain that they've had when they were younger. Because it kind of can rewire the way your brain works.

Now what's fucked up about it is this book is chaos. Greg Fitzsimmons' buddy wrote it, Tom O'Neill. And he came in and he worked on this book for 20 years. I've talked about it too many times, so I'll give you the cliff notes. But it's basically a book. Does it say Charles Manson? Yes. It's all about the 60s and the CIA doing LSD studies and giving LSD to hippies,

giving LSD to people to try to change their memory, giving LSD to people to try to make them do things and have no memory of it after they did it. There's a connection between the CIA's LSD study and Jack Ruby, the guy who killed Lee Harvey Oswald and shot him in that iconic photograph. Sirhan Sirhan, the guy who killed Robert F. Kennedy. All these guys are connected to the psychedelic study, including Charles Manson. I mean, if there's ever a face of someone who's doing drugs. They ran a clinic in the 1960s until this book came out.

clinic in the 1960s and all till this book came out they were at CIA ran a fucking free clinic in Haight-Ashbury and it closed down three months after this book came out it was they were running it for decades shady shit well these CIA doctors rolling them well they were they were giving people some sort of psychedelic therapy or they were studying them and giving them psychedelics or they were doing something or using them to motivate and we're doing something to people yeah LSD and they were they were studying them and giving them psychedelics or they were doing something. Or using them to motivate. They were doing something to people with LSD and they were letting Manson out of jail over and over again. He would get arrested. He would violate his parole.

They'd let him out again. He was a part of their program. They wanted him to do fucked up shit. They wanted him to do fucked up shit. Like they're researching him like a guinea pig? No, they wanted to use him most likely to disrupt the anti-war movement. So he represented hippies now so everybody was terrified of oh so they were trying to put a bad face on hippies and make them crazy so that they appeared crazy but meanwhile they're the ones creating the crazy

they were making him yeah they were creating the crazy well he was in the he was in jail for most of his life like literally half of his life this is fucking mind-blowing oh i'm doing a terrible job of it but if you listen to the audiobook or read the book, and the book has like 60 pages of citations and references, explaining all the stuff that is absolutely provable about what he's saying. Who funded it? Henry Aslinger? Well, no, it's Harry Anslinger. Whatever his name is. But it's a great book. But it's about that. It's about rewiring someone's brain with LSD,

and that Manson learned how to do this while he's in prison through this CIA study. And then when he gets out, within two years, he got out in 67. By the time 69 comes along, Sharon Tate's dead. They're all living in the mansion. He's gotten people, murder people and write pig on the wall. All this while he's giving them acid. He's giving them acid and pretend to take it, not taking it or taking just a little and changing the way placebo effects no no he wasn't taking it so he was pretending he was taking it so he could fuck with them and so they're taking acid and he's programming them getting them to have

orgies getting them to do crazy shit murdering people like he literally was a part of this program and you can prove it by all the times he's been released from jail all of his connections with those guys who worked for the CIA at the time and we're doing those LSD studies all the stuff because the Freedom of Information Act it's all been proven they did this thing called MK ultra where they did they did mind control experiments on people in the 60s it ended in like 1973 when the guy was running the program died. But they were dosing people up with acid. They were doing wild shit. Safety, kids.

Safety. They had whorehouses that the CIA ran and dosed the Johns up with acid. They thought they were going in to get laid. And they had a two-way mirror. And these guys would be like fucking sipping tea, watching these people take acid and have sex with prostitutes. Dude, it's a fucking nightmare. Like that sounds like a nightmare. This is what happens when people get control.

The chaos I feel inside. When people get power and control, you can justify almost anything. One of the things you can justify is you can justify taking a guy who's just looking to get his dick sucked and you put him in a situation where you're dosing him up with acid and you're studying him like a rat and he has no idea you're studying him. He has no idea what happened. You're breaking this poor guy's brain. What happened?

Well, Harry came home one day and he just saw demons. He started yelling. He was in the backyard. He starts shooting his gun. Next thing you know, no more Harry. Meanwhile, she doesn't know, Harry got dosed up with LSD

because on the way home, he'd scraped together a little money. Let's just give him a little rub and tug real quick. And he goes into this place and like, have a drink, sit down. He drinks and all of a sudden, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Twelve hours later, Harry comes out. He has no idea what happened. There's no memory of it, but he's a different person now.

And they broke his brain. Is that like what happens when people think they're being abducted? Maybe they just were on the CIA program and they were all fucked up at night. Could be. God. For sure. That's such an abuse of power and really an invasion of rights.

It's just, well, if you give people power and you don't have anybody standing over them and tells them what to do, and especially if you're doing something in secret, right? If you're doing things in secret, did you ever hear that famous Kennedy speech about secret societies? It's really interesting. I don't about secret societies? It's really interesting.

I don't think I have. It's really interesting because he was struggling with the CIA and a bunch of other secret institutions and government back then and secret societies. And he was talking about how abhorrent it is to withhold information, how dangerous it is. But this is sort of one of the reasons why it makes sense like if you give people the power just experiment on these young kids just dose them up with acid just let's experiment on prisoners let's just go to these prisoners look at this guy he's been in jail for 12 years he's a fucking loser let's just give him acid let's see what happens talk him into believing he's jesus with no recovery program no no regard for their person it's so destructive

it's it's it's that's really just yeah this is one of the things one of the things in the book that james was freaked out about he claimed to have achieved the impossible he knew how to replace true memories with false ones and human beings without their knowledge well i mean most memories are false but without without without detailing the specific incidents he put it in layman's terms has been found to be feasible to take the memory of a definite event in the life of an individual and through hypnotic suggestion bring about subsequent conscious recall to the effect that this event never actually took place, but that a different fictional event actually did occur.

Jesus. He had done it, he claimed, by administering new drugs effective in speeding the induction of the hypnotic state and in deepening the trance that can be produced in given subjects. It sounds like whoever did hypnosis on you did the opposite of that. Yeah, they did bad hypnosis. That's really so, so evil. That was his job. His name was Jolly West, and he did this for decades. This is a government program.

Yeah, apparently he's a really friendly guy. It's hard to not have conspiracies. Well, for sure, if you want to go to those conspiracies, they were real. I mean, they are provable. I mean, that is just so, it's demonic. Oh, look at this. It sounds like we're reading a movie plot. Look at this. The National Security Archives in Washington, D.C. I found the version of the

psychophysiological studies of hypnosis and suggestibility that the CIA turned over to the Senators Kennedy and Inouye in 1977. West's name and affiliation were redacted as expected, but the CIA's version

was also shorter and watered down in comparison. This is because he found two different documents. He found one but the CIA's version was also shorter and watered down in comparison. This is because he found two different documents. He found one in the CIA's warehouse, and then he found another one that was the one that had been redacted. West documents was 14 pages. This one was five, including a cover page. Most glaringly, there was no mention of West's triumphant accomplishment, the replacement of the memory of a definite event in the life of an individual with a fictional event.

So the CIA's papers had a different account that showed that he could change people's memories. And then the one that was all redacted and edited didn't have that in it. And these are people who are still, there are still people who are like that, who are running government and who are in politics, who are in charge of passing laws like that well here's the question so here's it does go deep but here's the question should the all that stuff is horrendous right all that stuff's horrendous experimenting on American civilians and and and fucking with people breaking people's you're too. You're causing schizophrenia. Oh, 100%. If you're inclined towards it, those events absolutely do contribute to schizophrenic breaks. That's been proven.

And it's not just proven. It's like they've actually talked about that. That's that Alex Berenson stuff that he talked about with marijuana, which is 100% true. In some people, especially with high doses of edibles, they have psychotic breaks. It happens to people. They get schizophrenic. They blow fuses. It does happen.

It happens temporarily. I know of people. I know of people, multiple people that have had real problems. I think there's some people that have a sort of a slippery grasp on reality in the first place. And then they start smoking a little weed, get a little too crazy. And reckless with it. Yeah. And go deep. Go deep deep wake and bake every day you're hanging out with the wrong people too and

it's the wrong environment and or even worse you're hanging out with no people because you're on quarantine just getting high you don't have any community like that that that's why it's so important to have like good people in your life that can get you out of those zones because it's all that is is like a deep dark mental zone and if you don't have a lifeguard on hand yeah you're gonna you're gonna drown in your own mental ocean dude that's but that shit is horrendous and then all those bad ideas are mental ocean sharks and yeah and I doubt they're replacing bad memories with good ones I doubt they're like, hey, remember that time your uncle touched you at the reunion? Here's you winning an Olympic gold.

I wonder what the memories were that they implanted in the people. Oh, to create Manson? I mean. Well, I know they definitely have taken prisoners and convinced the prisoners they committed a crime that they couldn't possibly have committed. You know what this sounds like? People have done that before through horrendous interrogation and torture. They've actually convinced people that they did something when they didn't do it. Well, that's how they persuade people to, you know, to confess.

Yeah. And they lead people. Yeah. You know what this reminds me of? What we're talking about? Westworld. Yes. It's exactly what it sounds like.

Well, what we're... Recreating memories and... Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're going towards that way. Are we in Westworld? We're going to be. what we're... Recreating memories and... Yeah, yeah. I mean, we're going towards that way. Are we in Westworld? We're going to be.

If we're not yet, I mean, Elon thinks we're there right now. Elon thinks we're... Elon Musk thinks we're in some sort of a simulation. He wants to know

what's beyond the simulation. Well, isn't there a percent? I mean, even Neil deGrasse says there's a percent of a possibility. Neil deGrasse. Neil deGrasse. I love him.

I have such a crush on him. I'm a sapiosexual. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you very much. I have such a crush on him. I'm a sapiosexual. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you very much. I remember there was a lady who got elected to something. They're like, she's the first pansexual politician, openly pansexual politician. What's pansexual?

Oh, you love everybody. You're just a hoe. You're just out there. You're just out there. Rude. Just having a party. But fun. Yeah. Hey, listen, I'm not knocking being a hoe a party. But fun. Yeah.

Hey, listen, I'm not knocking being a hoe. That sounds like fun. Maybe that should be my reincarnation. I think she basically is allowed to be attracted to everything.

That's all joking aside. I think... That must be exhausting. Maybe. Maybe it's not. Sounds kind of great, though. Maybe she can go back and forth from men to women,

but she doesn't consider herself a lesbian. She's not bisexual. She's pansexual. She's not bisexual. She's pansexual. She's just alive. She's living. What does pansexual mean? No, I think you're right.

I think they love everyone. Let's Google it. I want to know what the Urban Dictionary says, because that's the only way you're going to get a definition. Oh, that's a true definition. Is pansexual a real thing? Let's guess. Is that established? I'm going to say you love all walks of identity.

You like straight people. You like straight people. You like gay people. You like lesbians. You like post-surgery transsexuals. Not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity. Exactly. Well, that just means you can be sexual with a trans person, a straight person, or a gay person. That sounds...

So, basically a very open person. She's a hippie. A lover. Yeah. She's out there doing acid and banging people. She's part of the Manson clan. Equal opportunity blowjobber. That's what the Manson did.

That's what they did. They were all that pansexual. I don't know if that's pansexual or more of a control. I don't know if they were all pansexual. I think you're born that way. I think it'd be... Unless you had the CIA replacing your memories. Why would you think that? Why would you think people were born that way. I think it'd be, unless you had the CIA replacing your memories. Why would you think people were born that way?

Because Lady Gaga told me. That was from my sister Emily. She's such a Lady Gaga fan. I love my sister. She's got two kids, a husband. She has Lady Gaga as her screensaver on her phone. Why not? Why not?

Fuck it. It's going to be that or a cat. Or Kenny Chesney. Her dog's name is Chesney. That's hilarious. Kenny Chesney. It's going to be that or a cat. Or Kenny Chesney. Her dog's name is Chesney. That's hilarious. Kenny Chesney. That's hilarious. Yeah, I mean, it must be great just to love everybody.

Yeah, why not? I'm pansexual in my approach to life. I joke around about it and I'll mock it, but I'm going to mock everything. There's things that are out there that are going to get mocked, but it doesn't mean it's not great. We should be able to mock everything. Yes or no? 100%. Because the people don't want to be mocked, but it doesn't mean it's not great. We should be able to mock everything, yes or no? 100%. Because the people don't want to be mocked.

Anything that you can't make fun of is bullshit. It's bullshit. And it doesn't want to be made fun of because it's afraid of its truth being revealed. Okay? That creepy dude who says he can pray away the COVID. Oh, yeah. That guy. He blows on it.

COVID. I blow you away. I renege you from my life. I rebuke you. When the lady confronts him, the lady reporter confronts him and asks him if he thinks that poor people are demons. I did not say that. His eyes? They got crazy. She asked him if poor

people were demons and he looked the most demonic I've ever seen a human look. The most. I did not say that. And knowing there's a camera there. Look at him. He looks like that thing from Saw. He looks like you would have to fight him to the death if you saw him in your house. Fuck that guy. That guy's the devil.

That's the irony of people like this. He uses people's need and want to belong and be understood for his own gain. Look at that suit. You think it's a fucking polyester suit? Do you know how on edge you'd be if that guy was like that in your living room? And he was screaming and yelling and pointing at you in your living room you'd be like oh my god we're fighting to the death can you imagine that's what you would think you're dating his daughter and you're going to meet him and he's you walk in the house right well that's his back i feel like i would just

leave the house but wait i like it when he's in my house because now i have to kill him but you go to the upper left when he's pointing at her that one right there look at that. Oh, don't you say that? He looks like if Disney instead of making like the presidents like those puppets at the Epcot Center they made a demon look at those white knuckles look how tight he's squeezing his fist his hand looks like a old Degraded version of an AI they just were like well fuck it. We're not gonna fix it Let's just put this hand on him and just send him back out into the world. No, the hand is a real age.

That's where everything else has been doctored up. You're right. They doctored up his mug. He forgot to get a. 150 years old. There's no hand jobs other than the regular con. He needs to go to his dermatologist and get a peel on that to show. That's a demon coming out.

That's how old the demon is. Look, it's all hairy and shit. But what would you do, seriously, if you walked in and his back was to you and he just turned around and he was, like, shaking a martini and he looked at you? You'd run away? In my house? Yeah. Depends on whose house. If it's in his house, I'd leave. His house. You'd leave. I'd get the fuck out of there. Do you think he... I'd get out quick. Do you think he makes love? Pardon me, sir.

Does he make love or hate fuck his wife? He probably gets fucked only by dudes, and they probably come in buses. They probably come in buses they probably come on out with like execution masks on they just run trains on what's his face I mean it sounds like a have you seen the video of him young composer yes play it play it I haven't seen it in a hot minute so we we'll get pulled off of youtube if we actually play it and people other than us can hear it yeah yeah because it's their

content but oh my god that's when he's rebuking covid who's the other dude that's this guy who's giving him it in the bunghole on sunday mornings giving him the lord i'm picturing large samoan characters like chasing momoa but but worse? Way bigger. Yeah, but big, thick guys. Just savages, just ready to lay pipe on that dude. Oh, so you're calling him a bottom, okay. 100%. If I had to guess, there's nothing wrong with that choice. Not at all.

I respect that choice. Yeah, absolutely. Live your life. Do you, girl. I just think that anybody who's doing that. Look, I don't necessarily think it should be illegal to rip people off and demand money and for a jet from poor people i don't think it should be illegal but be honest yeah if you think that you can't be mocked for doing that someone can't ask

you a question because you did say that you don't want to be on a plane with all those demons you know like that's why he has a private plane because because the regular people are demons. Yeah, of course. And so this lady's like, did you really say that? And he's like, I did not say that. Come on, man. Like you actually said it. It's like the same thing with Joel Osteen. They've got that same gloss.

He's way less crazy, though. Way less crazy. But they have a similar gloss about them. But Joel Osteen is happy. That guy's out there. Is he? Fuck yes. Same fucking face.

No, no, no. It should be he's because they're like joel olstein is not like him joel olstein's legit that guy he's crazy he thinks poor people are demons or if you have you don't think joel thinks the same no i think if you're you're gauging them if there's a graph of like worst ever preacher to best ever preacher somewhere along the line there's got to be a really good person it's a preacher that really is following the word of christ and is doing it the right way and is if they do get money they are giving it away to charity there's got to be so you think joel's on the better end of that he's closer to that side than that guy is to this the fucking

there's joe there's fucking joel's. Jesus is king, so shut the fuck up. I'm sorry. Why don't you just read Jesus is king? Bro, he sells tickets where you can only look at his ass. They probably cost a thousand bucks. Look, there's tickets behind him. Look how many people are there. Oh, God sells. Sex and God sells.

Like, if comedy's done, I'm going to God. And look at the people that sit behind their ass. There's like so many people that they stuffed people on the stage with them. That is so wild. And this is another example of people needing and going towards love. And I'm sure there's obviously a benefit to this. Look at the size of that place. It's just, it's another level of religion that I don't quite understand and my mind can't grasp it.

Because it feels like it's teetering a little bit further away from religion. And going into something else. Another realm that is the opposite of what religion is meant to be. Well, it's finance. It's a business. Yeah. That's what I mean. If you're selling out that big of a place.

And you're getting donations from those people too. How many of those people are tithing? How many of those people are giving 10%? If you have 30,000 people giving you 10%, oh my goodness, are you balling. So you're like paying, you're paying God essentially. So it makes God appear like a mafia,

like a member of the mafia. You're like, you treat me good, I'm gonna give you some money, just protect me. It's basically like a mafia member. I think the idea is that these guys, the more baller these guys are, the more they represent God's word. And God's word has allowed him to get a jet and a Rolls Royce. And look at this mansion that was paid for by God's word.

God is good. God is good. God wants me to have it. And then people see that and it's like sort of they get pumped up. They're like, God is good. Look what God's done to Brother Joel. Andel's up there balling out of control joel's royces and private jets he's just so i don't know why his face is so taut is jesus hanging on to his ears and riding joel like a like sea biscuit and directing him because his face is very intense he's just on point focus and that's how you sell a fucking arena, woman.

He's running towards God. Girls are always worrying about what the guy looks like. The guy's selling out arenas with Jesus' word. He's reading a book that was written 2,000 years ago. He didn't even write it. He's reading it out there, giving these sermons, and he's bawling. Look how happy he is.

He's like, I'm not even going to get my teeth bleached. Fuck it. He's laughing. 50,000 people a week it says he has. Great. How much money is that? That's a lot. That's a lot bleached. Fuck it. He's laughing. 50,000 people a week it says he has. Great. How much money is that? That's a lot. That's a lot of money. Plus millions on the internet. He's like the Chappelle of

sermons. He dwarfs us all. He dwarfs Kevin Hart. He dwarfs everybody. Well, hopefully he's spreading love. Hopefully people are getting what they need from that. There you go. But he looks fucking crazy. What is his sermons like? Have you ever listened to them? Oh, no, no.

But I mean, he's filling up the 16,000 seat arena about three times if 50,000 people a week are getting in there. Good Lord. So that's quite a few. Well, after the UFC was at T-Mobile, I think the UFC seats 22,000 at T-Mobile, somewhere around that range. And he was there. He was there like after us. He does 22,000 at T-Mobile, somewhere around that range. And he was there. He was there like after us.

He does 22,000 people in Vegas. That's a strange shift of energy. Oh my God, yeah. Like, you know, from a UFC to G.O.D., that's a strange shift. Have you ever had a show where it felt religious? A show? Yeah, for you where it was like, it was so good and you were so tuned in that you got off stage and it was like, man, I feel like God right now.

No. I've had shows that feel surreal, but life feels surreal. Yeah. Yeah. My life feels very surreal. But no, never. They felt religious. It's because you're humble.

Well, I'm as humble as I can be and still do what I do. You have to have a certain amount of belief in yourself to be able to do things either on camera or on stage or, you know, in the moment. You've got to have a certain amount of belief in yourself. I feel like all comedians are insecure narcissists, but you teeter on this line of, I don't have, you're the only friend I have is a male who you're really well balanced in that area like your ego I've never seen you lose your shit and you risk you treat everybody the same but you also you also respect your that's very nice of you but I definitely lost my shit I'm sure I can tell I mean you're you're tattooed from your knuckle to your clavicle I'm sure there's some

shit going on where you've lost yeah for sure but you you also uh you respect your boundaries and and you you aren't afraid to be like this is my space i don't need you in it but with a smile well you got to be careful in this town especially there's so many people that weasel in to try to weasel into your circle and be your friend and then start asking for things and like it's not subtle at all yeah they're like sycophants it happens so. It's like all of a sudden someone's hanging around that's friends with this guy and sees you places

and then he wants to get your phone number and then he wants to talk to you about a project. It's like there's so many of them out here that are like trying to hustle their way into people's lives. But don't you think like

I don't know about you but I see them come a mile away. Yeah, you do but they're still around. Like it's in this town especially when I was doing television stuff like oh was doing television stuff. Like, oh, my God, television stuff is littered with these people because it's all about like making these connections with each other and the relationships that you have with studios and producers.

Like everybody's sort of like working. So it's like everybody's like, can you introduce me to Tom? Tom at MGM. Do you know Tom? Do you just send him an email? Just an email. Tom, this is a great script. I'd really like to introduce it.

There's so many of those. There's so many people like that. It's exhausting. It is exhausting. If you don't change your number every now and again, you'll get stuck with them. I love that you do that.

I gotta keep moving. I'm gonna ready to change it again. I bet you are. I feel like you're due. I'm due. You are due. I should have changed it two months ago.

I have two numbers and I change them both now. It's smart. Yeah. And it also, then you realize who you want to keep in your life or who you at least want to communicate with and send your energy to. I can't imagine being like Tom Cruise. I can't imagine.

Like someone is that thing. It sounds like you can. Impossible to imagine how you manage all that. I mean. That's why the guy's jumping off buildings. He's hoping he falls. You don't help him manage it. Because I can't do this anymore. Scientology. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why the guy's jumping off buildings. He's hoping he falls. You know what helps him manage it? Scientology.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how he manages it. We need to start a new cult. You and me. Excuse my naiveness in this situation. Is the head man in Scientology still God, or is it L. Ron Hubbard? Is the entity that we're praying to God?

I don't think he's the head guy. I mean, they say things like to LRH, and they fucking salute him and shit. But I think they think of him as a guy who just sort of brought them the word. And then the word is the true origin story of human beings with the Thetans. And they were frozen. They threw them into the volcano. So it's not necessarily the word of God. It's just the word of the aliens that he created in his books.

It's an alien thing. It's like, I think to paraphrase it and butcher it, I think the idea is that you are like using this shell and then you have this thing that's inside of you that really has come from like other galaxies and it was released here and now it's trapped inside your body. God.

Some fucking wacky shit but the writing dude the writing's so bad you need to read i can't wait to watch battlefield earth i love a reason to watch a movie please get high and do a simulcast please you'll have to tell me you'll have to give me i'm gonna ask you some pointers after so i make sure i nail it just do it where it's just you and a bong and Battlefield Earth. That's what it should be called. Me, a bong, and Battlefield Earth. And just videotape it? Yeah, you sitting there on the couch, crisscross applesauce, bong, and every now and then you're like, oh my god.

He just, hold on. You're like, this is so crazy. Movie is so wacky. But that movie is probably a million times better than the book. The book itself, like I'm telling you, his writing was so awful that it's confusing. It's like, how did he do this? And he even wrote, or he was quoted as saying, if you really want to make money, start a religion. Really quoted saying that.

He would take pictures of him with a, he had a captain's jacket on, a bunch of medals he gave himself. I mean, it sounds like mental illness. You have to read Going Clear. It's crazy. I didn't read it. I did the audio book. Did you listen to it? I listened to it.

It's still reading. It's amazing. Actually, Going Clear, I read at least one or two of the chapters. I actually sat down and read it, but most of it I listened to. It's amazing. It's amazing. Can you realize what he was? He was like, this guy was mentally ill, who was trying to self-diagnose and then self-heal and then came

up with this whole system of like Dianetics, this whole system of how to like manage your mind. And again, for some people, it actually is effective because it gives them a structure. Well, yeah, I was going to say, maybe the silver lining to his mania is that he managed his mania and then made fucking cash. Yeah, but he's dead either way. Who gets his?

Who knows? There's so much money. Who's in that trust? They're like one of the number one real estate holders in all of Los Angeles. It's creepy when you drive by the main building. Psychiatry kills. It's like, I got a guy with a head thing on, electric. Have you ever seen that?

Yes. Yeah, people that go into there, they don't even know they're going into a Scientology building. They think they're going in for some anti-psychiatry thing. It is a little, you know, the whole thing is misleading. The whole origin of it is misleading. What is misleading? The guy probably believed it is misleading. What is misleading? The guy probably believed everything he said.

He's probably out of his fucking mind. If you really pay attention to who L. Ron Hubbard was, he seems like he was lying constantly. He was probably a maniac. Was he a result of the CIA chaos? No, he's pre this. He's before all that. But have you ever seen the interview where Tom Cruise is on with Matt Lauer on the Today Show? And Tom Cruise is mad that Brooke Shields is on psychiatric drugs.

Yes. And he's like reaching out to her. Like he's saying how he can like what she needs to heal. Yeah. Yeah. And he's so intense. Dude, he looks zooted. He looks zooted on something.

Look at his face. It's so intense. I just think he's very adamant about this particular aspect of the Scientology belief system. One of the things is they don't believe in psychiatric drugs. I'm pretty sure they don't believe in any of those, right?

But the conversation is so interesting. I wonder if you did a personality trait test of the people who are followers of the Scientology religion, what the common denominator is amongst interesting. I wonder if you did like a personality trait test of the people who are followers of the Scientology religion, what the common denominator is amongst them.

Dude, you really want to see something amazing? I do. You want to see Tom Cruise's graduation speech? What was that one where he stood on the podium

and they gave him like the most amazing man of all time medal? They gave him a medal, like a gold medal. It's the size of a fucking hubcap and it's hanging around

his neck like Flava Flav. Flava Fl and he said look at this and somebody leaked this it is fucking amazing so the head guy of scientology that guy gets in front of them they salute each other because they're in the fucking army they hug like in a crazy like they both probably came there and then tom cruise goes up they give him this gigantic dinner plate of a medal. And this is like a pump-up speech. It's like a pump-up speech that was like a Scientology thing. Look at his medal. He won.

Most awesome human of all time. And so he's standing there in front of this huge globe behind him. There's this huge image of the earth behind him. This huge seal. Freedom medal of valor? Freedom medal of valor. It's amazing. Most amazing person of all time medal. Based off

of what? What the fuck ever, you hater. Jesus Christ. Everything with you is hate. No, I'm just analyzing. But come on. Imagine how crazy you have to be to stand there in front of these people with this goddamn dinner plate hanging off of your neck. And then at the end, they salute to L. Ron Hubbard. They look at the picture of him.

They go to LRH. They do like this. It's amazing. It's a secret society. It's not secret. There's the photo of LRH. What's with the decor? It looks like the inside of Pavarotti's.

Look at this. They're saluting. See that? Everyone gets up and salutes to LRH. Dude, he looks like the thing from Ghostbusters. Dude, I would- The painting. I would like to join just for fun.

Hugo. Remember that? See how much they can convince you. What is it? Vigo. Vigo. You know what I'm talking about. How much could they convince you if you had to live like a Scientologist?

If you just said, look, I am going to do a thought experiment, and I'm going to study all their work, and I'm going to be non-critical about all this, and I'm going to study all their work and I'm going to be non-critical about all this and I'm going to live my life and I'm going to do it for three years. People have tried to do that probably just like for fun on their own because they're so bored and just thought like, well, what happened if they did and like what happens if they get caught? Yeah, but you would have to be there. Or if they were desperate.

Yeah, you'd have to be in the system. What if they just want, it was like their last hope, and they just were hoping it would help whatever issue they had. I'm sure that's happened both ways. How many people have looked at the success of Scientology, though, and going, I need to do something like this? But they never did. Probably a lot.

It's like with everything. It's like a comedian looking at you being like, I fucking, I wish I thought of that. What, being mentally ill? Being able to talk all well just be well no I mean you downplay yourself but you know your your topics and your jokes I'm it's the same shit no I got lucky and that there's an actual job for something that I just I'm it just fits in with my rambling curiosity yeah so I'm a rambler and I'm curious so it's like oh

look at this is a job right here it wasn't even a job before it's just like a recent job um but have you seen waco the netflix thing dude i had no idea i knew about the story i was young when it went when it went live during the actual time but watching that that again like there's a certain type of personality that is attracted to having a leader and it goes back to like what did you experience in your childhood where you needed that? But again, the guy always fucks all the wives. Fucks them all. Fucks them all, takes all the money.

And then convinces the guy he's helping him. I'm not fucking your wife. I'm helping you out, bro. Dude, I'm not fucking your wife. I'm your best friend. I would never fuck your wife. My dick was inside of her, but that's different. I wasn't fucking her.

Jesus was fucking her. Jesus is testing you and he's strengthening your resolve. Can you heal from this? Are you going to be able to find what you need from within? And then he would sing terrible songs. And then he'd just disappear through the doorway. Didn't he sing like Green Day?

Please don't. I think he did. I think there's a video of him singing Green Day. I bet we could play that on the podcast. Is that what they were called? Davidians? Branch Davidians. Branch Davidians.

Waco, Texas. Dude, that was so tragic the way that went down. Ted Nugent lives near there. Of course he does. He probably helped out. He probably goes and jizzes near the location. So there it is. Branch Davidians.

What does that even mean? You know, I almost bought his car. What do you mean? His car was for sale. He had a 1968 Camaro and it was for sale. It's a good year for Camaro. It is a good year. I love Camaros too. I love 60s Camaro.

It was for sale online. I saw it and I was like, oh, I'm fucking buying this. I picked up my phone and I looked and I'm like, do I really want that fucking bad juju in my life? You knew it was his car. Yes. It was 100% his car. Certified that it was his car. I'm like, is that bad juju in my life. You knew it was his car. Yes. It was 100% his car. Yeah, certified that it was his car.

I'm like, is that bad voodoo? Yeah. It has to be. I mean, if we're talking about there being some sort of realm of consciousness and things existing outside of the physical world, there's some bad juju in that fucking car. He was killed by the feds and they burned his family alive. Alive, dude. In a compound. And they lied about it.

They shot fire out of the fucking nozzle of the tank women and children and drove over the walls knew the women and children were inside drove over the fucking walls and lit that place on fire and barbecued those people well that was a real i think a lot going on there i think it also was like a breakdown in protocol and how to handle a high tense situation i think that's how they've always done it. I just think this time it got caught on tape. That's what I think. I think if there's ever been some sort of situation where people are armed up.

Look at Ruby Ridge. There's a bunch of situations in history where they decided to put their fucking boots on the back of someone's neck. Because they wanted to let that person know they're not going to resist. And that's one of the things that people do when they're in a position of power that's why power is so dangerous because every single time people get this sort of ultimate power it winds up being abusive you know with the with a certain person and it becomes like the difference between like you know somebody who does good for the world and in community and somebody who does yeah evil shit it's such a hard job to be a leader of

anything whether it's a leader of california or a leader of the country or a leader of anything like being a leader of something like jesus well every decision you make is scrutinized and your whole platform is built off of lobbyists and people who have invested interest and it's it how do you make a decision and how do you commit to your own decision and have faith in it? You must lose yourself. You must have to lose yourself in order to be able to make those decisions. But then how are you able to make decisions without yourself being connected to it? Then you also have to deal with criticism because you have to be able to address people's concerns.

So you have to take some criticism in that's probably nonsensical and angry and ridiculous. And then some of it that actually is constructive and makes sense. Who do you think was the president who handled that the best that you've seen in your lifetime that handled Obama? I think he's the best speaker of all the presidents because there's something about Clinton. I didn't like his little fake smile. He was smirky. You just knew he blew a load on the dress. But he still was an amazing speaker. He was still an amazing speaker. He was charismatic. Yeah, and sometimes

he would knock it out of the park. But it's just like you know too much about him afterwards to judge him in the most objective way. Isn't it crazy? If I just looked at his ability to speak versus Obama's ability to speak, they're both pretty amazing. They were definitely both amazing.

I think Obama had a calming factor. I feel like when other presidents have spoke for just from my, I don't really know a lot about politics or claim to be an expert. But like when Donald speaks or other presidents before Obama, it caused like an anxiety. There was like a tense yeah behavior around it like the way they spoke was very I don't know stress inducing but Obama was kind of velvety you know he had a way of delivering things and he felt like he was a guy you could actually hang out with like I remember seeing him on Bourdain show they were in Vietnam eating and drinking beer and I'm watching as my mother fucker can just hang out yeah like you walk into any room and and make it his room

But he can hang out in a way like that. I don't think Trump can hang out Like Trump's got to be the center of attention. It's got to be a big deal that Trump's there It's got to be you know, you know I'm saying like Trump would have to be He's not gonna hang out with you in some weird fucking Restaurant in Vietnam after he's out. He's not going to do that. And talk about like the flavor notes of the sauce on the pork. He's not going to be able to. Talk about different ethnic foods and different cultures that cook in a different way.

It seemed like when Obama spoke, he felt like he was in the moment and present. Yeah. Like he was aware of what he had to deliver, but was also aware of the way he was delivering it. Trump seems like he's always someplace else. Yeah, and Obama's, I mean, there was a lot of bad policies that were passed during the Obama administration, particularly when it comes to whistleblowers. They were one of the worst on whistleblowers ever. And there's also some real erosions of freedom of speech and of surveillance.

Real erosions of that. A lot of drone attacks. Jesus Christ. There was a lot of drone and a lot of fucking innocent people died during those drone attacks. So there's no president that gets out and just nails it. No, there's no immaculate presidency. It's a dirty job. It's a dirty job.

And I don't know if it ever wasn't a dirty job. I mean, look at the nature of what it is. You're ruling over people and a lot of different types of people and so many different laws and states. It's a lot to keep under control. And then you have to worry about the types of people who are, you know, on the lower levels of politics and how they're making decisions. You've got to worry about the type of people that want to be president, too.

Who the fuck wants that job? Who in their right mind? Why? Obama went in a babe, and he's still a babe. Settle down. He is. Getting a little juicy? No, not juicy.

Squirty. A little squirty. Teeny, a little squirt for Obama. That's my new bumper sticker. No, he clearly took a hit. It showed on him. You know why? Because I think he read the briefings, and I think he cared,

and I think he probably worked some fucking ungodly amount of hours, and I think it probably freaked him out once he got in there and realized how dangerous the world really is. People have wondered why did he not do what he said he was going to do during his campaign, and why did he change a lot of that once he got into office. And one of the thoughts is, well, they say a lot of things because they don't really give a fuck.

They just want to get in there, and once they get in there, they're like, trust me, I'm a fuck they just want to get in there and once they get in there they're like trust me I'm a good guy once I get in there I'll be fine but I gotta lie to you and say there's all this stuff that I'm gonna do that I know I can never do the other thing that people say is when you get in there then they change your perspective and they show you the briefings they show you all the terrorist activities they show you all the danger

in the world and you realize like oh my god and you're responsible for making the right calls to zig and zag and make sure you avoid all the fucking trees on the way down the hill that's a really uh you're probably right that's a very i'm sure smart way to look at that i'm sure it affected him right down to his core yeah they become a different person he's almost like you hope they do if they're human they become a different person yeah but i mean you you're not who you said you were going to be when you were running for president. And I think it's – I bet a big factor is the access to information and then the top intelligence agencies and then the top – talking to all the people that are lifetime in White House, in Washington.

And they can let you know how everything really works. And you're probably like, fuck. in, you know, in Washington and they can let you know how everything really works. And then all you're really doing, because it's, if you look at the span of, of a lifetime and then a span of a president being in office, if he gets reelected, there's so many things for you to address that. How do you even get to, to doing all of the things on your, on your daily to do's you end up spending more time talking about the policies as opposed to actually putting them into play. It's so hard to check all those boxes. Well, that's the case with, I think,

all kinds of government. And that's one of the reasons why I'm very patient about this whole reopening the government thing. Not that I don't think we should do it eventually, but I look at it like a battleship. And I don't think this battleship can make quick turns i mean i think it shut off real quick and you know freaked everybody out and there's been a lot of crazy adjustment but i think the battleship is still turning really slowly and to get it to a point where you're going to maneuver it into the harbor because you're back to work again like whoo like uh how's that going to look is that just going to be wide open back to work again, like, whew, how's that going to look? Is that just going to be wide open, back to work again?

And what do we do if the virus flares up again? Are we going to be able to accept the fact that the data shows that it's not as dangerous or are we going to look at it and say, yeah, it's not as dangerous, but is it not as dangerous because we quarantined everybody? Right, we flattened that curve. Which is probably the truth. Yeah, which is probably the truth. It's probably not as bad as they thought it could be or would be

or were worried that it would be, but maybe it still needs to be something that we need to stay away from. I don't know. I think if it doesn't turn out to be as bad as everyone thought, then we're learning that something worse is going to come, and we need to— We're learning if something worse comes. Yes, if and when something worse is going to come and we need to. We're learning if something worse comes. Yes.

If and when something worse comes that we need to improve our equipment supplies in our, you know, our standard mode of protocol and how we're reacting to these things on this, like in a system level. But now we know, you know, what makes me happy, Honestly, legitimately makes me happy is that most people complied. Most people shut down their businesses. Most people stayed the fuck home. It's not like people were rebelling. For a while. But no, but they still have done it for over a month, which is a crazy thing. Yeah.

To tell people to not go anywhere and not go to work for a month and most people comply, that's pretty fucking amazing this is the first thing i've done in quarantine that was outside of just walking my dogs and maybe going to the grocery store with my man once in a while do you when you guys shop do you stock up kind of but it's hard to stock up when you eat like i eat perishables so it's hard to stock up on perishables but for the most part you gotta eat bullshit food that's preserved. That stuff affects my mood. Rice and beans. Gross.

Mac and cheese. Keep it in big old dumpsters. Big old garbage cans full of rice and beans. If you had a garbage can full of rice, how many years would it take you to eat that? A long, I mean. If you ate rice every day. Probably a long, long time.

How much could you live on rice and butter? If you just had rice and butter. I feel like that's how kids, that's all kids eat when they're like up until like 10 years old. No, they have hot dogs. Yeah, they have hot dogs chopped up in there. If you're over 12 and you eat hot dogs with ketchup, fuck off. It's gross. It's supposed to be mustard, you weirdo.

But hot dogs are one. You're right. It should be mustard. It should be mustard. And the bun should be toasted just a little bit. That's not bad. Not a bad thing. A little toast on the bun.

But I'll take sauerkraut every time if it's offered. Oh, some relish? I don't like relish. That's bullshit. That's candy. Rude. You stay on your side of the table. I'll stay on mine.

Just eating pickled candy. It's a little sweet and everything. You're fucking up the hot dog. Is that your junk food? What is your ultimate junk food? I do love hot dogs. I fucking love a hot dog. I love a New York City, what Joey Diaz calls a dirty water hot dog.

Yes, dirty water dogs. Dirty water hot dogs. That's what they call them there. They snap when you bite into them. I prefer the kosher dogs. Those are the best. Aren't they just prayed over? Yeah, well, they slaughter them differently.

But if you have like, there's a couple of different companies. I didn't know they were slaughtered differently. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the whole thing of something being kosher. A rabbi has to be there. And it's actually a really bad way for the cow to die. Because he knows. He's like, oh, fuck, yeah. That's the whole thing of something being kosher. A rabbi has to be there and it's actually a really bad way for the cow to die.

Because he knows. He's like, oh, fuck, this guy's here. They hang him upside down and cut their throats. Oh, man. See, look,

I try and live my life. Make a tasty dog, though. Make a tasty hot dog. It does sound really juicy. I try and live my life in a, you know, where I'm being as good of a person

as I can, but I gotta, burgers are so good. They're so good. They're so good. So I'm not a bad person because I like a burger. Do you want some wild elk meat

where you cook some elk? Fuck yeah. Oh my God, my man was like, you gotta get some elk meat. All right, I got it for you. I got it for you.

Dude, we've done almost three hours and a half. Oh wow. Hasn't it been? Like three and a half hours? We've covered a lot of topics. What are we at right now? 322. Wow. half. Oh, wow. Hasn't it been? Like three and a half hours? We've covered a lot of topics. What are we at right now? 3.22.

Wow. Dude. Dude. Dude, that blunt really kicked us off. I was a little scared at first. I was like, I'm a little too high. I'm going down this hill. I can't stop.

Ah! No, you're a natural. Well, it's not even an interview. It's a conversation. That's why this podcast is so good. Well, it can only be good if I have friends like you. You're sweet. No, you are. No, I good if I have friends like you. You're sweet. No, you are.

No, I really appreciate that. I appreciate you. I really do. You're one of my favorite people. I always love hanging out with you. We have a lot of fun at the store. It's always fun to do these with you. And you're real.

That's what I like. I think real recognizes real as cheesy as that is. Are we rappers now? No, we're just humans expressing our hearts. Real recognizes real. But the one thing I realized in this quarantine, because I've become, I've sat more in the fan seat because I'm not performing as much. So I'm like experiencing it from the other side and how important your show and your podcast is to the fabric of society. Like your comedians always talk about this. That is a preposterous thing to say.

No, it's not, Joe. It is. It's preposterous. You are important because of the varied subject matters that you have on this show. Well, sometimes I can get lucky and get a guy like Michael Osterholm on and tell people. That was the guy that alerted everybody to how bad this was really going to be. Right. Yeah.

Was he the CDIC guy? No, he's the guy that's an infectious disease expert that wrote this book, Deadly's Enemy. Oh, yeah. And he was on and everybody went, holy shit. Because everybody's like, should we take this seriously? Is this anything? And then he did this podcast, and then like four hours later, I got a call from Dana White. He's like, dude, what the fuck?

He goes, that podcast has freaked everybody out. Sidrap, right? Center of Infectious Disease Research and Protocol. Is that what it's called? No, he's from the University of- Yeah, Minnesota, but a couple other things. I heard of him. Oh, you're right.

Sid Rapp. That's exactly... Look at you, smarty pants. It's right there. I'm like you. I like information. It's on his little note that he wrote for me. No, but maybe it scares you to hear that or not.

You're just fucking around. But there's a gap in availability with information and fake news and all that shit. Your show is important because you have an unbiased approach to who you have on, and it's just a wide spectrum of information, and it's a great place for people to have an area where they can come and learn from things they may not really agree with. Well, here's where I'm really lucky. Where I'm really lucky is that there's something that I'm doing

that reaches this insane number of people, but also has no one telling me how to do it. Fuck yeah. So there's no one telling me that I can't get this guy on or don't get this author on. Nobody gives a fuck about this book. We've got Rob Lowe's coming in or, you know, whoever. They'll decide who your guests are. There's no network dude saying no to Alex Jones.

Yes, exactly. Because of what it would do to your fans and your ratings. Yes, exactly. And also fighters. Like, what are you going to talk to them about? Who are the fighters? I mean, what about these authors you've had on? Believe me, I have friends who are doing their podcasts

with a professional production group, and they're having these kind of conversations. Fuck that. And they're saying, they go, dude, I feel like I'm working on a TV show. This is crazy. I'm like, just let me do the thing. And if this episode's not so good, I'll do better,

and then the next time I'll be better. But let me have on the people that I can, A, get, people that are willing to do it, and then P, B, I'm actually interested in. That's what's going to create the good content. I need to be interested in this shit.

The only way I'm going to be interested in what you're talking about is if you're actually interested in it. If you're talking about some shit, I mean, you could be talking about playing the piano. I don't know jack shit about playing the piano, but if you're really into it, and I hear people talk about it, I get fascinated. I was listening to this conversation about Go, about playing that game Go and how complex that game is.

And about this is one of the reasons why that deep blue computer beating Go, beating a really top-level world champion Go player, is so extraordinary. Because this is an incredibly creative game that's really complicated. And I don't know shit about Go, but I was riveted. Well, I was just riveted in you explaining. My mouth was open. I was like, whoa. I think passion definitely is an alluring.

Yes. For all of us. It's a defining factor for creativity. And that's where we got to just take control of what we want to do and just put it out there and fuck censorship and fuck what people think. If you're passionate about it, then that's where, you know, we got to just take control of what we want to do and just put it out there and fuck censorship and fuck what people think. If you're passionate about it, then that's all that matters. Jessie Mae, tell everybody about your show. Oh, it's called Sharp Tongue Podcast, and I talk about a lot of shit, things I like to listen to and like to talk about, subjects that matter to me.

Will you consider my offer to do that simulcast while a bong please do for your fans yes with a bong you battlefield earth and a couch absolutely i will as long as you get me that elk meat jesse may i repulk you thank you my friend i love you i love you too always good to see you bye everybody that was really fun that was awesome