The Joe Rogan Experience - #147 - Duncan Trussell

Episode Date: October 17, 2011

Joe sits down with Duncan Trussell.

The Joe Rogan Experience. Herman Cain, explain yourself. Yeah, baby. That was a quick fade there. What are you doing there, fella? Scared me. Scared me with your tricky work of a sound. Duncan Trestle's here, folks. Hello. I went in for Duncan Trestle's here, folks. Hello. I went in for Duncan Trestle's here.

Shit gets weird. That's your realm, bro. You're the king of weird shit. Speaking of weird shit, you know how they, it's odd that they call the fleshlight a sex toy. Why do they, toy is the wrong word for what that is. That's a tool, not a toy. Sex shovel. wrong word for what that is that's a tool not a toy sexual a toy makes it seem like you would like sit and like gi joes would play on top of it or something well it's it's a toy i think because

of the fact that it's silly you can't help but laugh at it yeah i guess you play with it you know it's like a less offensive way of describing what it really is something you fuck you know imagine if it just said that the fleshlight something you fuck you know imagine if it just said that the fleshlight something you fuck it'd be great i just call it that it's a million times better than a sex toy that's like a john wayne gacy term you got you kids want to play with my sex toys in the basement you know they they sell sex toys at target now they do yeah they they they have all these new companies or or not new companies, like condom companies

are now getting into vibrators. And like, they have vibrators now at Target. It's called like personal massage units or something.

But it's just vibrators. What? At Target. Really? Yeah. But they have to pretend it's for something else. They have to show the girl

like rubbing her face with it. It's so repressed. It doesn't even show. Like temples are so strange. Like, big fucking rubber dick. It's so repressed. It doesn't even have temples. They're so strange. Like, big fucking rubber dick. Such a repressed society. So fucking repressed

that they got to call it a personal massager. They can't say a fuck tool. And you got to call it a toy. Yeah. And the other weird thing about it is

if you want to talk about sex, you have to say, well, it's adult entertainment. Like, what's that? Yeah, what does that even mean?

Adult entertainment. That makes you think you're going to be watching a symphony. Not like, have to say well it's adult entertainment like what's that yeah what does that even mean adult entertainment that makes you think you're going to be watching a symphony not like fucking do you think that all this repression when it comes to sexuality is a direct result of overpopulation is that what it is is it like we feel overpopulated and we're trying to slow down yeah no i don't think i've never thought that i think it's all based on the uh down yeah no i don't think i've never thought that i think it's all based on the uh it's all based on the fundamentalists of all religions uh right but where's their urge from with this urge to control sexuality what is the root of it snm it's a it's a form of snm you know that joke you do about um that joke you do about the priest sitting in the fucking in the in the confession

booth yeah with this tiny little hole as they listen to people tell their darkest secrets yeah that's us and them yeah like that could be in a sex club if there was no confession booths that would probably be a thing where it's like yeah go in the secret booth man people tell you really dirty things and you can't jerk off yeah that must be so hot for them oh yeah like really crazy stories it's erotic dude it's really sexy cuz these you know there's guys in the booth being like man I put my fingers in her pussy and then she wanted father she wanted me to fist her pussy go on my son and I was just pumping and pumping.

And father, she squirted, father. You haven't had sex. This is a guy who theoretically not had sex in years. Ever, maybe. Yeah, but they have. At least they have nocturnal emissions. They come at night in their sleep.

Priests are always blasting jizz at night. Isn't it ridiculous that after all we know in 2011 that people, that anyone would, not even just that anybody would do that, but that anyone would at all take anybody willing to do that seriously and not think they're fucking crazy. When you see the Pope having an interview,

sitting down with great heads of states and politicians and kings and queens from around the world, you're looking at this guy. This guy's wearing a fucking superhero outfit. He's wearing some crazy Jesus superhero outfit on, and he's a fucking cult leader, and he's getting to talk to presidents. If Catholicism was new, if it just came out,

if someone just invented it, okay, you would for sure make fun of it, and for sure it would be labeled a cult. No different than the Moonies, no different than the Hare Krishnas, no different than any other new ideology that tries to get introduced into our system. But Catholicism is one of the weirdest ones, man. As someone who grew up in it,

someone who's just been around those churches and the stained glass windows, and everything is dark, and no one is fucking happy. But how about the transubstantiation of the communion wafer, where they believe that they convert the communion wafer into the flesh of Jesus.

Yeah, what? And it's not a symbol. I've heard that they really, truly believe when they do their whatever the spell is over the crisp, that it turns into Jesus' skin. And then they're breaking up the flesh of Jesus and consuming the flesh of the man God. They don't really, you know, the only people who are really into Catholics are dudes who are fighting off the gay and a lot of old women. A lot of old women get really, old men are like,

get the fuck out of here with this. Most old Catholics that I knew, you know, I had the joke about Catholic suicide bombers. You'll never see a Catholic suicide bomber because none of us believe in it that much. Right, yeah. Catholicism is like a, it you never know religion like it might be real but you know just don't count on this but old women old women and dudes fighting off the gay good dudes fighting off the gay man they dive into the fucking lord's word when i was in high

school there was this poor kid who wanted to be a priest and he was just fighting off the cock just every day he was like the space shuttle re-entering orbit with leaky tiles just fighting off the urge just dive on the cock he was so gay and he was really religious man i think he became a priest please god keep cocks out of my mouth today i was reading about this fucking crazy story where there's a lesbian couple and they have a son and they want to,

the son is 11 years old and they want to block his hormones because he says that he's a girl and he wants to be a girl. So they want him to be positioned for gender reassignment at 11 years old. But he's making his decisions and his name is tommy but they say that he only refers to tammy he calls himself tammy dresses and dresses and he

wants to be a girl jesus poor kid yeah what happened there is do you think the kid is is that a um an emotional thing is that a physiological thing? Does anybody have that nailed? Like why people wish that they were in other sex? I guarantee that it's not like just a decision for an 11, no 11 year old is going to like put themselves through turning into a, he wasn't just like, this is going to be interesting. I think I'm trying to be a girl. Well, according to the parents, um, he had done that since he was a baby baby. It's physiological. So you think it's just some wacky coincidence that this is happening in the presence

of this lesbian couple that's raising him. Because this is where the real argument comes in about sociology versus physiology, like what exactly causes certain behavior or certain wants and inclinations. I don't know. I mean, I'm no expert, but I know that people are real uncomfortable

when they hear that a lesbian couple has a boy that they adopted and that this boy is being considered for gender reassignment to become a woman at 11. You want to go like, whoa, okay, what are you guys like? Can I sit down and talk to you? How do you feel about men?

Do you fucking hate them? Do you talk shit about them all day? Do you think his mom i don't know no i don't think that i definitely don't think especially since i don't have an opinion i have no opinion you know honestly i i uh i just find the whole subject to be incredibly fascinating the whole idea of gender reassignment that term is fascinating it sounds like something that would happen to you in the military obviously you're getting sent for gender reassignment boy it's like the robot military well obviously they should not let like hopefully that kid has to be 18 to honestly be able to do that right apparently no no no no no what they're trying to do is they're trying to give the kid uh blockers right

that keep him from reaching puberty that's yeah but that's that should be against the law for them to be able to do that. That's what I would think. The kid can't make a decision for himself. I don't think you can fucking jack nature like that at 11. You don't know what you're doing. You don't know the repercussions. How could an 11-year-old possibly wrap their head

around the idea of what they should be responsible with for their whole future? You're not a man yet. You're not even responsible for yourself. You know, your mom has to check to make sure you wiped your butt. You know, and at 11, you're 11, you know, I can't imagine. I can't imagine. That said, I have a friend who's going through that.

I have a friend whose son is going through a gender reassignment issue. And he's... That's a new... Is that a new word? That's a new term. This is like the new add or something i've never heard that term i think you know that's what they've been calling it when they chop your dick off don't scare too many patients off this is the chop your dick off clinic oh you're

here to get yourself a fake vagina and no penis all right it's like two items on the menu. Give me that money. Yeah, that's two items. Chop your dick off. Chop your dick off. So a dick off. Well, for women, I don't know how many of them get an artificially constructed penis. They convert the clitoris, right?

Well, not really. What they do is, for the most part, they just jack them up with roids, and roids make the clit turn into like a little dick. See, the clitoris and the penis are apparently made out of the same sort of tissue. And when the clitoris is in the presence of massive doses of testosterone, just chimpanzee rage doses, it becomes a dick.

It gets so ferocious. It grows like a rhino horn. And that's just from just pumping test into a woman's body. It's all crazy to me, man. I've been around bodybuilders before. I knew girls that did roids for sure. There was girls at this gym that I went to.

There's one gym that I went to in North Hollywood. They were fucking gigantic women, man. They were big. They were like a buck 80 solid muscle five percent body fat dude you don't get that way there's a lady who used to live down the street from me that was like a miss olympia so you know it's a weird it's a weird thing man when they do it backwards though like when they take the dick off to make it a pussy don't they use them put the dick hole and then they kind of like just open it up like an artichoke or something like that? I think, yes, something along those lines.

I think they actually try to sever the penis and use it to line the skin of the vagina. So if the person still gets excited, they still have like a feeling. But they can't orgasm anymore. Yeah. No orgasms forever. It makes me wonder then like if there's any sensation to get... You see those videos where people are shoving pencils up their dick holes or something like that.

Of course. Does that feel good? Does it have a sensation? It's got to feel terrible. Is that a new way to check off? I think once it heals up, it probably doesn't feel too terrible. They're probably so excited by the fact they got this little fake pussy. Oh, that probably feels good.

I thought you meant pencil in your dick hole. That's got to feel horrible. And you pause for a second. I'm like, oh, shit. No, no, because it's the same hole is what I'm saying is when they split open the dick and you have sex, that's the hole you're using, right? No, no. When they make a man into a woman. No, no no that's a good question you might be right he might be right they're not that you're you're there's no way you're fucking you're you're they're not

fucking or your urethra i'm just saying right they stretch it out so they do they get your there should be a penis trainer like an anal trainer who's the first person who did this operation that's what i want to know They start out with the shell of a bullet. They start off with a number one pencil, and they go to a number two, and then they go to that nice fat three one that we all enjoy. They get to a 38 round. We really pack it in there and stretch out the tip of that cock. And it's a six-month process until it becomes something that you can fist.

I've seen videos of chicks knuckle deep in a guy's dick. Oh, God. Really? Just pushing down into his dick hole. Just fucking fishing around down in his balls. Oh, my God. No bacteria on those nails. Oh, God.

The infections. His fecal matter. This girl I know, she does webcam videos, and a lot of guys do that. Oh, Jesus. I was surprised. Jesus. She will screen capture all of them. Oh, my God. But, like, if you go to her, what's that?

She screen captures all of them? Yeah. So they can see her as she sees them? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Oh. And you know that, what's that, chat relay? Is that the thing that chicks do? I'm sorry.

Is that the thing that chicks do now? Yeah. You, like, beat off, and they look at you one-on-one. Yeah, it's kind of like, it's what you always used to do with like girls from forums and stuff for free but now they're charging like something like $10 every two minutes and it's kind of cool because now you're

making a personalized porn video, you know so it's pretty much like chat roulette but the girl's hot on the other side. But the girls can, they can screen capture, they can get photos of your cock and everything. Yeah, it's mostly just cock. They don't have faces in it. It's terrible.

She's like all screen capturing dicks. That's just rude, man. No, they're screen capturing. Yeah, but she's a professional. Yeah. I'd have to beat off with a burp. This girl I know only does it when it's pencils in the dick holes. You know what I mean?

It's only crazy shit. Or there's something ridiculous. Doesn't she have to take an oath before she becomes a webcam woman yeah you should have to have a Hippocratic oath

you're not allowed to harm you're not allowed to take screenshots of dudes dicks you're here in the service industry that's right

I screen capture all the time all day there really should be sexual service industry there really should be the idea that that's illegal is so fucking gross.

You know, I think it probably causes more rape, it causes more anger. If prostitution... Spread disease. Yeah, I don't want my daughter

to be a prostitute, of course. But if prostitution was legal, people are going to do it. And guess what? Some people are going to actually like to do it. And some people

are going to enjoy going there. And some people, they're just crazy bitches and they really wouldn't do anything else anyway. And what are you going to do? Are you going to fix the whole world? Are you going to fix the whole world? Or are you going to enjoy going there. And some people, they're just crazy bitches. And they really wouldn't do anything else anyway. And what are you going to do? Are you going to fix the whole world? Are you going to fix the whole world?

Or are you going to let them get tested and get taxed and let them be treated like they're not some outlaw? It's an outlaw thing. If you're a prostitute, you're a criminal. If you're giving away sex for free, you're just a whore. But if you're actually getting money for it, you go to jail. They lock you in a cage. And the idea that we still have that in 2011, regardless of what your beliefs are about sex, whether you should or shouldn't go to a prostitute, I agree that it's kind of a weird thing. It's a little dehumanizing. The whole condition is very strange, but fucking for sure it should be legal. You can't lock

people in a jail. You lock people in a cage for making someone feel good with their mouth what the fuck is wrong with you it's insanity it's absolute fucking insanity fucking lunacy man it's complete insanity the fact that it's not challenged the fact that that's not challenged in 2011 like and the fact that apple's not censoring it off of siri when you're asking for a blow job and they tell you where the closest escort agency is. Yeah, did you know that? This is what he did. He asked it.

Actually, no, I haven't told you this. Last night, I just sat there in bed and tried new things. And I'm sitting there and I go, I want a blowjob. And they're like, we found four escort agencies closest to you. And it was like 2.7 miles away. You know Steve Jobs has programmed some shit in there that's just waiting for someone to say the right thing i just hope they don't start censoring it though apple keep on going that way make it like the internet don't start censoring it that's fucking

cool that you actually have that in there yeah open a time portal siri you just put it in there knowing eventually someone's what is exactly going to happen on December 21st, 2012? Cannot access future node. That's funny. Yeah, that's fucking cool, man. One thing that seems interesting, it seems like it's run off a server because everyone's activating the Siri, which is a remote assistant on the new iPhone 4S is what we're talking about. Well, you know what it's based on, right?

The Dragon? No, it's based on right uh the dragon or no no it's based on wolfram alpha which was that search engine that was created by all these phds that wanted they literally wanted to put together the the concept is a website that can answer any question so no matter what your question is you know what is the weight of one pound of nuclear waste i've used it it before. I've used it for shit before. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, so apparently that's what's behind all this. Wow, that's really cool. It's amazing. Yeah, when you ask for a dead body,

it goes a sewer, an old warehouse, a junkyard. Yeah, he said where to put a dead body. Yeah, you didn't make that? I thought this is a fake video you made. No, no, no, no, no. I've been laying in bed using it, just like fucking making up shit. Holy shit.

Dude, if you ever have a device, if you ever have a gadget and you want to learn everything about it, I just buy Brian one too. Yeah, that's right. And then I say, where are we at now? And he's like, dude, this is what I just found out. And he'll find shit on it that you would never figure out yourself. He's a fucking gnome. Yeah, well, he's just a gadget whore.

I know. I need to figure it out. I need to. I need to figure it out. i need to figure it out with them well and i think it's run off a server like i think like that they're going to be able to constantly upgrade it as time goes on and i'm just worried now that with all the attention to all the of course the x-rated stuff that they're going to start censoring it when and i hope they don't start doing that and but but it is cool to think like what siri in five years is going to be just

like when we first saw the ip 1 to see how it's changed. The technology from then, it's going to be pretty much like most relationships without sex, it's going to be better than that. It's going to be anything you want to talk about, any questions you have to ask, and it's going to learn. It's going to get to know you. It's pretty much going to be like artificial intelligence, I think. What do you mean most relationships without sex? Because what else is it? You're sitting there talking to a computer.

Oh, you mean most of the relationship without sex. Like a relationship without sex. Yeah, but you know what? You won't feel the same if you know that the robot is there for you because it's artificial, you're going to abuse it. It's not like a person that you love to have around. I think most people would probably just beat the fuck out of their robots if they knew that the robot wasn't a person but was always going to like look out for them and be there for them and you would find

that robot annoying and you would kick his ass because you know he couldn't fight back because he's only there to protect you right but if it gets to know you better and me i'm already like oh man it's a robot no no but if it gets to know you better, I mean, I'm already like – It's not real, man. It's a robot. No, no, but if it gets to know what your answers would be and your personality better, because I'm already interested in it, and it's just not even smart right now. Right, right, right. But what if it starts to get to know you, and now you're so interested in it, like crack – Are you asking what if you fall in love with your phone? Yeah, she has things – I even asked it to sing the other day, and it started singing me a song. I mean, it's pretty much.

It's fascinating. I'm addicted to it. I'm addicted to it. What if Brian just got a cursed iPhone? It's not Siri. It's got a demon in it. Well, dude, I mean, if you were a real fundamentalist, if there's any more. Satan.

This is the devil in the machine. That's right. That's true. That's what Satan does. You know, someone told me once, Satan cannot create. Only God can create. Satan is only capable of imitation.

That's why Satan is the god of music, of rock music. I love dudes who just have knowledge. Especially about Satan. They want to give it to you. I'm going to tell you, and they're all confident, I love dudes who just have knowledge like that. Totally. Especially about Satan. They want to give it to you.

This is, I'm going to tell you. And they're all confident. And they're just saying just crazy shit. Yeah. Just think about that. Just think about that. I've always said that if you believe in the devil, that's a different kind of crazy. Because there's a lot of people that will talk all day about God.

Like on TV. God bless America. May God save our troops. God is on our side. Bush said God is on. Like on TV, God bless America, may God save our troops, you know, God is on our side. Bush said God is on our side on TV. I believe God is on our side. Could you imagine if he said we found the devil, he's in Afghanistan. You'd be like, oh, this guy's crazy. He's out of his fucking mind. You didn't really

find the devil, but it's okay to invoke God into the equation as long as it's sort of an abstract thing that you're pretty sure you're never going to meet in this lifetime. It's amazing what invoking God can do. I mean, clearly the God that the Christians are invoking, if there is a Satan, is Satan. Because the God that they're invoking

is this homophobic destroyer of everything that isn't a Christian. And if you don't fear him, he will fuck you up. Fucks you up. He will fuck you up. He'll give you a plague. Anything bad, he will fuck you up. He'll give you a plague. Anything bad, he'll fuck you up so bad. That fucking Herman Cain. There's a thing on the internet of somebody asking Herman Cain what he thinks about homosexuality. His response is,

well, I'm a Bible-believing Christian, and so I believe it's a sin. So if you think about that, this guy's running for president and those two things he put next to each other he believes that there's a that fucking someone of the same gender is not just bad it's bad on a metaphysical level it's bad because there is a super intelligent being out there that gets infuriated when these microscopic amoeba-like creatures put their penis in an in an asshole of the same gender he believes in that creature and that fucking guy wants the keys to the largest nuclear arsenal on the planet you can't you can't give him that do you think they i i just i don't believe that anymore

i don't believe they have the rights to the largest nuclear arsenal on the planet i don't believe the president has any say i think the president is just doing a job he's in there playing a role right i think it's really clear now and the clearest evidence of that is obama what obama the way he's changed his stance on things from being a presidential candidate to being the president and has done everything that you would have

asked him to do. If you were in corporate America, if you were one of the people that put him into office, he's done everything you've asked him to do. He's like a maitre d'.

Including what they're doing with the pharmaceutical companies going after medical marijuana now. Closing down stores, threatening property owners. Yeah, people who are renting places out to medical marijuana now, closing down stores, threatening property owners. Yeah, people who are renting places out to medical marijuana places. They're saying they're going to take their property away.

They're threatening newspapers for airing advertisements for medical marijuana. Meanwhile, I mean, there's been study after fucking study after fucking study showing so many benefits that people have that are sick. You know, forget about people like me who just use it because I like the way it makes me feel. You know what I mean?

I mean, it makes me relaxed. It helps me go to sleep. A fine reason to do anything. Yeah, a fine reason. Just like aspirin. If you have a headache,

you should be able to take aspirin, goddammit. You're a fucking grown human being. The idea that any one person should be able to stop you is ridiculous.

But in this day and age, with all the information that we have now, the fact that it's person should be able to stop you is ridiculous but in this day and age with all the information that we have now the fact that it's still illegal at a certain point in time you just have to fucking scream it's just infuriating it's infuriating well the poll just came out it just was popping up on the internet that now 50 of americans believe that marijuana should be legal and somebody tweeted to me me that in California, like the Medical Association came out and said that they think it should be legal because it causes more harm, breaks up more families.

The war on it is breaking up families, taking people's property away, putting people in jail. That's a million times more harmful than whatever the harmful effects may be of smoking marijuana, which as far as I can tell are like naps that are too good,

and it makes World of Warcraft fucking unavoidable in your life. It does make food taste better and makes sex feel good too. Yeah, so there's a, so yeah, when you start, I got really depressed when that shit started hitting Twitter about Obama cracking down again. I got really sad. like like sad i still am a little gloomy from that because it's just this idea of like what are we in fucking mordor and lord of the rings is there some guy on like a black throne with fucking uh metal gloves and

a horn helmet being like we must crush the marijuana that is making these people so happy. Yeah, exactly. Well, you cannot have the people be happy. They're too happy. It's just the grossest example of corruption available. The grossest example of corruption. Whenever there's something where someone's trying to crack down on things, know this. When someone is threatening to crack down on something,

where they're going after certain organizations, there's money involved. 100% there's money involved. Right. And the money can go one way or the other. It could go that they realize they can make a lot of money through these medical marijuana places, and the marijuana places give them a nice fat tax. Like maybe say, hey, instead of whatever tax we're paying, how about medical marijuana?

You make them pay X amount of tax maybe just a little bit more that those profits go to try to straighten out the economy a little bit and uh you know and everybody still can make a shitload of fucking money then they have to stop back and think and go wow they're giving us more money than the pharmaceutical companies are right and then and only then are you going to be able to fucking stop all this bullshit you're going to have to have a marijuana lobby you're going to have to have people that have shitloads of fucking money and they want marijuana to be legal. And then all these cunt politicians,

all these corrupt little whores with their assholes sticking straight up in the air, all of them will come around. All of them. But that's only then. Only when they get the people who put them in office, when their daddies who put them in position and tell them what the fuck to say,

there's no clearer piece of evidence that Obama, a man who admitted he smoked marijuana, and they're locking people in cages for selling. Taking their property. Taking their property. Yanking them away in front of their kids. Why are they doing it? There's only one reason. Money.

There's only one reason. Someone is making money off it not being legal. Or there's the, that's one part of it but there is like the deeper uh idea and the deeper conspiracy theory about it which is that it's not just the money it's the fact that the state of consciousness it induces isn't one that works for uh the type of capitalism we have right now and i think there's something to that man if people start and also it's like try getting really high on a really good weed and start thinking about those fucking drones zooming around Afghanistan and blasting missiles at kids.

And it's like, you'll really start getting a clear understanding of how fucked up that is. No matter what, even, let's say even those drone attacks, we had to do them, It's still fucked up. It still creates more of a sensitivity towards people getting their limbs blown off of their bodies in the pursuit of some ridiculous war. And that kind of, you know, that's hitting the military-industrial complex. It's hitting the pharmaceutical companies because if you start getting high,

you're going to start experiencing a better level of happiness it's going to make you start dealing with your bullshit or maybe it'll make you depressed because you're lazy but either way it won't allow you to like sink into the kind of sedated hypnosis that it seems like that works really fucking well for applebee's you know it works really well for the corporations for people to be in a sedated, hypnotic state where they can really make sense of going down to a shopping mall and like eating at a fucking, I don't know, chicken place with their kids and then going up and buying some shit at a shoe store and then spending their day just consuming shit they don't really need and then going home and sitting consuming shit they don't really need and

then going home and sitting back to watch TV with more advertisements and not thinking that's weird and falling asleep in that kind of depressed slumber. That is really hard to do if you're high. If you're really high, it's really hard to watch normal TV and not be like, this is horrible. Look at these advertisements. Are you kidding? They think that that's going to work on me? Oh, my God. $48,000 for a fucking car?

You're going to pay for it? That's like over a year's wage for some people. You're going to make sense of buying a brand new car? Payments of $285 a month. For like $4,000, you can go buy a fucking car, get it fixed up through the year, and have like a shitload of extra money and not be in debt. That's what pot makes you think. If you're, you know, but if you're like drunk and you're fucking scratching your balls and watching the game

and a fucking, the new Lexus, you'll start thinking like, well, my credit score went up this year. I think I might be able to take out a loan from the bank and get a new Lexus. You'll start thinking like, well, my credit score went up this year. I think I might be able to take out a loan from the bank and get a new Lexus. Even though you're fucking broke and living in hell and it's going to just create this weight on your budget that's going to make you miserable. Dude, I don't mean to go on a long rant, but did I ever

tell you the time a friend of mine picked me up in his fucking Mercedes and took me to his apartment? Did I ever tell you this? No. He had a brand new Mercedes. Now I know this guy. I knew what his job was picked me up in his and i knew he couldn't afford a mercedes picks me up in his brand new mercedes and he's like hey i gotta stop by my apartment come inside for a second go into his apartment it is the size of a fucking closet it is the smallest apartment i've ever seen in my life like barely could he like he had to like kind of like almost like walk sideways against the wall to get around the bed to get to the bathroom it's like a new

york style just shit box meanwhile that guy's car payments have got to be like 550 600 a month i mean this is a nice fucking mercedes and in his mind he had like his logic behind it was like yeah it's better to have like a really nice car than like a comfortable living situation i talk about this he's like a deal one last thing that guy's a tramp demon because like what he's a tramp demon because tramps see that mercedes and they're like let's go back to your apartment because they think he's rich and then they get in this tiny little fucking shitty closet space he probably has some rap about that. They're making my new place.

They're fixing uptown. I'm staying here for a little while. Oh, oh, pfft. Yeah. See ya. Yeah, yeah. It's so fucking sad. The look on those tramps' face when they walk in that door

and realize that there's barely room to stand. There's like two feet of carpet between the door and the bed. There's a lot of people who believe in those really small, sustainable houses. People are making these really, really little houses, and you move things out for the kitchen and move things out, and the bed is like a little loft area. It's like a whole trend on the internet. There's a lot of people that are doing that now.

It's cool. I don't think there's anything wrong about living simply. It's just hilarious when people uh oh yeah no throw themselves into hellish debt uh for a symbol yeah and and well it's not just that honestly it's a you you you enjoy the fuck out of a nice car sure you get a mercedes you can't believe you're allowed to drive this thing everywhere you go people look at you like you must be special look at him he's getting into that mercedes oh my god for a lot of people that is a tangible benefit of having a car like that they like it you know you could say it's shallow all day but man driving one of those things is beautiful it's a an amazing piece of engineering and as a gearhead

you know i'm sort of a minor league gearhead because i don't know exactly how all of it works but like adam carolla is like a legit gearhead he can like build cars i just like buy them from people who know how to build them and appreciate the fuck out of them i think they're interesting but the driving one you drive like a really well engineered piece of it's amazing no i man i if i had shit shit loads of money i would buy a nice car and i wouldn't feel weird about it because anything to like to to dull the fucking existential horror that comes over me on the 101 in traffic that's beautiful i'm just saying when those commercials you know they're they're not just appealing to rich people they're they're they're manipulating idiots right into

somehow convincing them that they're logically make sense to get in debt to a bank for 50 grand. It's not just idiots. It's people that are not happy. That's what it is. They're offering you happiness. See, most people throughout their day, they have a job that can occasionally be interesting, but they would never fucking do it for free.

And whether they're good at it or not, they take some sense of pride in their work, they get through their day, but they're fucking tired, man, and people are are unsatisfied they feel like they work so fucking hard they put so much in and what am i getting i'm just existing this is what i'm doing i'm existing so what do they do they get fucking shit they buy a new bowling ball they get a new they get a new lexus and you know what for them you know for some of those you say it's sad but for some of those guys that are stuck in that life no matter what they do,

that might give them a little bit more happiness, driving a nice new Mustang on the way to work. It's like eating plastic fucking fruit. I mean, really, the idea is get underneath that. Don't start. You're starting at the top. Start way deep. Start down deep,

and then worry about the fucking Mercedes. Yes, for you. Yes, for you yes for you for you for a guy who thinks but for someone who's just locked into the life of a drone and accepts it a nice little red mercedes look at that look at the look on bob's face he's so happy and he gets into his red mercedes wow i don't buy even to the girls hey girls i don't buy mercedes but i do the same ladies you know like i i get myself in debt always have been i i do the same girls I don't buy Mercedes but I do the same shit ladies

you know like I get myself in debt always have been I do the same shit I don't buy Mercedes or go to that crazy but my shit was always like I grew up super poor

and then now I have credits so now I can buy things and do like most of my life was like hand me down shit or you know like shitty toys or you know

just not like you want you live in a neighborhood with a bunch of kids that get anything they wanted growing up i can't i don't understand you see these kids and you're like wow you got voltron how'd you get voltron that's just like 80 dollars you know and then now you're an adult you're kind of over like you feel like i deserve this because i didn't have that stuff growing up i i want what I want. You know, like these kids always had growing up. People like objects to soothe them. Give me a big computer monitor

and fucking World of Warcraft and some medicinal marijuana and that's all I need. And that costs $13.99 a month. Oh, shit. I guess I can't say what I did because they'll cancel my account. No.

Can I tell you what a friend but uh can i tell you what can i tell you what a friend of mine did yes please a friend of mine recently went on like a really bad world of warcraft binge like he like he didn't mean to when he started playing and and this guy's name his name's uh his name's uh little hobo yeah his name's little hobo you know him little hobo started playing and uh he went in there, and he started playing. Me and him are similar in that we both have a level 83 warlock, and Little Hobo started playing, and he went in deep. I don't know what happened to him, but it's like he really, really,

really got hooked on it for like three days. And since he's deleted, he did delete the game from his computer so he couldn't play. But in the midst of this binge, he decided to buy gold from a... Because they sell gold online for World of Warcraft. They sell gold. Do you know this? Yeah. They sell World of Warcraft currency. Okay.

So he decided to buy, just because he saw an ad and he's like i wonder if this really works he decided to buy 6 000 gold which takes a long time to gather up in that game and so he went online and he ordered it and you have to put he had to put his phone number in and he got a fucking call from these chinese people they're like you buy gold you buy gold meet me and ogrear at the bank. Ogremar, bank, now. Come now. Like, really, they couldn't really speak English that well. And you go and you meet a gold dealer.

In the game. In the game. So they call you up in real life and tell you to get online. The gold's ready. The gold's ready. Get online. Then you go and you meet this level one character. And it's like a fucking drug deal.

They have you meet kind of out there like, Valley of Spirits, come now. Valley of Spirits, you come now. They're brusque. You go there and then they give you 6,000 gold and their character vanishes. It was so funny. Do you think two things? Do you think either there's a Foxconn of kids that are forced to play this game and then all- It's sweatshop.

Yeah, sweatshop. Yeah, sweatshop gold. 6,000 gold for $7? It would take days for me to gather up 6,000 gold. $7. They're getting paid like 10 cents an hour if that – Or Blizzard is one of the most intelligent companies in the whole entire world, and they discovered that like, hey, this is like paying, you know, we could act like these people existed, you know,

where we're actually making money. Like, we just made $7 off Dunkin'. You know, we made up this imaginary gold. You know what I mean? No, dude. That'd be so awesome. This was some Blade Runner shit. This is some, like, kids in a fucking bunker.

It was like, and it's like, it felt genuinely, I can't, well, Little Hobo told me that it was like one of the, one of the, that was one of the most fun experiences I had on the game. You were able to commit a crime without getting arrested. It was really fun. I'm so glad Little Hobo's back. Yeah, me too. He's really, he's been enjoying getting out on the road again.

So are you using the little guy or the the the little guy's been working fine nobody seems to i want to see it seems to care it's the same thing it's just with the little guy's a little cuter he's a little nicer not on state i mean he's he's a sweeter looking this um what you were saying that it is like blade runner type shit, it really is. Things are getting so bizarre. It's bizarre. They're getting so bizarre, and they're closing in with this Siri thing. You're absolutely right, Brian. This is the next level, this ability to interact with your device.

Interact with intelligence. Yeah. We're like knocking on the door of some really, really bizarre times. You know what I think it is, man? I think the next thing is going to be interactive surfaces where it's going to be like some kind of like, I don't know, material that you could lay down on top of a table, kind of like tile or just some kind of cloth you could lay on top of something that turned into a screen.

So I think that the new thing is going to be there are going to be walls made of interactive surfaces so that you could tell the wall, you know, like beach view. And suddenly you're just sitting on some beautiful beach looking out at the ocean. I think they already have that shit, actually. Really? Yeah, like that wall technology. But it's got to be, it's going to get, I think it's going to get like totally normal.

Like, you know, now when you go to a hotel and you're like, ah, fuck, they don't have wireless. It'll be like, you'll go to a hotel and be like, there's no interactive surfaces and no this doesn't have interactive walls i think eventually what it's going to be is we're going to have hologram units and that you're going to be able to watch things in hologram you know like you'll be able to like remember when uh uh was it r2d2 had princess leia totally and we have there's a little a little video that you could watch yeah help us obi-wan you're so primitive you know when you think about it yeah but um i think Princess Leia totally and we there's a little a little video that you could watch Yeah, yeah help us. I'll be one you're so primitive, you know when you think about it Yeah But I think eventually there'll be some sort of a large form of that in the living room like your living room will have an open

Space instead of having a 55 inch TV. You'll have like a 55 inch square on the ground Yeah, you know and then there'll be something above it and it'll just Project some three-dimensional, fully three-dimensional image in front of you. That you can control with your hands. You can move shit around with your hands and stuff. I mean, when that happens, that's when fucking StarCraft II is going to become the ultimate sport

because they're going to put that shit in stadiums. Are you sponsored by Blizzard? I wish I was sponsored by Blizzard. They're going to have it like stadiums are going to be laid out with these huge holograms of video games fighting each other that look super realistic. That's coming. I know it's going to happen. It's going to be so fun.

Imagine if they had life-size video game hologram things that interact with each other and you could watch a game of Quake play out. Exactly. Watchake play out exactly watch it play out in an arena yeah watch like a dude like an artificial dude yeah shooting guns and shit that's where it's heading man it's already like so fucking fun to watch esports i'm hooked i've been watching these starcraft 2 tournaments and they're like badass they're so fun to watch when you know what's happening fucking koreans man they're the fucking they are to starcraft what black people are to football they're just like ripping

through ripping through everyone they're so good man and they have like the way they set up the cameras they show like their hands on the keyboard sometimes you can see how fast they're moving their hands it's like lightning fast it's like the hundred thousand dollars is what they're competing for so it's real money and it's fucking cool well quick thinking and intelligence you know is really what's required to play starcraft you know like that's a that's a tricky ass game that's not like i was into like fast twitch muscle games i was was into aim games like Quake because it was really intense. I was into one-on-one duels and all that type of shit. But the amount of calculation that's involved in a game like StarCraft,

it's not just moving your hands quick. There's a lot of shit going on, man. It's so much. The automatic, it's fast twitch because you do have to be able to move super fast. The way they break it down is there's like- But it's not an aim fast twitch because you do have to be able to move super fast and there's like the way they break it down is there's like but it's not an aim fast twitch the precision involved in like quake like you had to get like

special mouses with like mice's where there were like 2000 dpi 3000 dpi like they had these razor mice that they created specifically just to make accuracy down to us. They have those for Starcraft.

Yeah, but you need them as much. Oh, fuck yeah, because the macro game is like your big plan, what different setups you're going to use to try to defeat your opponent on the broad scale. Then there's the micro game, which is so when you're having individual skirmishes between armies. I only do macro. I'm terrible at micro. skirmishes between armies. So like, I only do macro, I'm terrible at micro. But the micro game is let's say you've got like, five, five zergs, which are these like alien predatorial creatures, and they're fighting five protoss, which are like, kind of like sci fi space people. You have to,

you have to like, if you're really good as your units start getting injured, you pull them out of the fight, you pull pull them out of the fight. You pull them back out of the fight so that they don't get killed and they can heal in the back while the people who aren't getting hurt can fight. There's tricks based around that, and you've got to move fast as fuck to pull that off. Meanwhile, while you're doing that in the middle of a skirmish, you've got to be thinking about all the shit back at your base,

your fucking spawning pool has got to get adrenal glands on your fucking zergs. You've got to update your fucking hive. Your queen's got to be spread. The queens, because I play zerg, they're like badass aliens. The queens, like, the queens, they spit this. No, I think it comes out of their ass. They, like, turn around and spray this weird hive with their eggs, and that, like, creates larvae from which you grow these aliens. You've got to be thinking, I've got to spray the weird hive with their eggs and that like creates larvae from which you grow these

aliens you got to be thinking i gotta spray the fucking hive i gotta make a goddamn i don't have time for this i gotta make a baneling nest it's awesome i have no time for this you get mad about the olive garden what the fuck was that this is ridiculous it's the greatest game it's the greatest game all the time well i guess if you really get into it it'll become your life though it seems like it's so complex and there's so much involved in it that you kind of have to play it all day. Do you find yourself ever wishing? Sometimes.

You've got to moderate. I mean, you've got to take control of yourself. It seems like you're constantly being stimulated. You're constantly having tasks to perform. It's never-ending, especially if you're playing online. And you're playing against a person, and so you're getting the added silly endorphin rush of like crushing someone and also it ranks you so the way they got it set up is there's different leagues in starcraft so you have like the bronze league then you have like uh the silver league the gold league

i think they have one above that called the diamond league so like the players if you were really good theoretically you would rise up in the players, if you were really good theoretically, you would rise up in the ranks, and eventually you could get to the point where you became like, people want to watch your games. People want to start watching the games if they're really good players because you learn tricks from watching them. I like watching video games in general.

I think there is a future for that because, I mean, I was always a fan of when my friend would want to play a video game to sit there and watch him play. Really? Yeah, I liked it. You can watch StarCraft 2. It's totally entertaining. I can watch Quake games, Quake demos, but I don't think I would want to watch a game that I'm not aware of. I've watched people play Battlefield

Earth or one of those fucking... Battlefield. Is that what it is? Battlefield. I've watched people play that. It looks like fun, but it's not exciting to me because I don't play it. You have to play the game to be excited about watching a video of it. That's true. Otherwise, it just seems like insanity. That's what I always say about pool. Nobody wants to watch pool on TV.

You know what does well on TV for pool? Trick shot shows. Those stupid trick shot shows, which I can't even watch. I have it set up on my DVR to record pool shows, but whenever there's a trick shot show, I get annoyed. I don't care what they're doing. It's not a game.

It's not a real game. The only reason why I like it is because I play pool. If you don't play pool, you'd be like, what the fuck stupid shit are you watching? You're watching some idiot shoot round balls out of other round balls and knock them into holes. And you get excited when it goes in a hole. You're talking about basketball? No, pool. Oh. That too.

Same shit. Any game, really, if you don't play them. If you don't play them, you could admire great feats of physical athletic ability, like when a guy can jump through the air and slam dunk a ball. But if you don't play it, you don't give a fuck. If you play it, then it becomes something you're like, how would I have gotten out in that game? How would I have dealt with his zergs?

How would I have, you know? Yeah, well, that's the thing. Yeah, when you play it, you're learning. You're kind of like watching it and getting tricks, and you know how you're going to apply it. Maybe it's, yeah, I'm sure. It's so complicated, though. Oh, it's incredibly complicated.

I mean, it's infinitely, I mean, it's it's incredibly complicated i mean it's infinitely i mean it's very complex but there are like some simple basic things that just mimic any any battle i mean it's it's it's very similar to like real like real skirmishes and stuff because you're having to be deceptive you're having to use deception you don't want them to understand what setup you're using initially like in the very beginning of the game you you'll send out a scout to go into their base and you'll look and you'll be like oh shit man it's only been like a second they've already like created a spawning pool that means they're going to do a zerg rush so that you're killing me i know i'm sorry i'll shut up i'm hooked yeah but it's only the only people that could understand what the fuck you're talking about is people that actually do it

yeah i mean you can sort of follow it along but i mean it just seems like so The only people that could understand what the fuck you're talking about is people that actually do it. I mean, you can sort of follow it along, but it just seems so fucking complex. It's complex. It's a complex game, but it's the first in what I think is going to be this entire new generation of these types of games. And I really think it's going to grow and become like, I think eventually, 10 years down the road, they're going to have an espn for esports where

they're gonna have leagues and they're gonna have well they already do in korea right oh they have like real professional players yeah i wonder why it took off in korea like that but yeah i do have it here but not like they do in korea especially star trek or star starcraft rather starcraft in korea is just bonkers i've watched big tournaments where they have audiences watch and it's really crazy it just took off there for some reason but I think why they're so good well because they they train like they they they treat it like a real sport so they they have like coaches they train they learn techniques and tactics and stuff I think ends are intense people intense you know I grew up all around Koreans because of my Taekwondo background.

You know, and we were always nervous to fight Koreans, too. Like, if you had to fight Koreans in Taekwondo tournaments, everyone was terrified. A guy would show up with his gi on, with a Korea on the back of it, you'd shit your pants. Like, oh, fuck, he's a Korean. They just were so intense and so much better at taekwondo for a long time eventually americans and a lot of the other uh countries caught up but in the beginning they were they were really far ahead and so intense man yeah korean people are so fucking competitive does dude doesn't korea have like one of the fastest download speeds of

any country yeah yeah they're super high tech. All the Samsung phones apparently are made in Korea. We were talking about the whole thing about sweatshops and shit like that. Some of the parts, though, are still made in China, but they make them in Korea. Here's something interesting about Korea is that one of the number one podcasts on iTunes is a Korean podcast, and it's all in Korean.

You won't even understand it or anything. And so I was researching, like, what the fuck is this podcast? Because it keeps on being number one of all podcasts lately. And what it is, it's like the Korean news is like Fox. It's like horrible, you know, just like biased news, right? And so this podcast is supposedly like the daily show but like for real news and it's gotten so big and finally like the koreans are getting like news from a different source that's a little bit more honest and a little bit more edgy and and for them it's blowing

up right now oh wow so it's kind of interesting i wish i could understand it though you know i wish it was impossible to translate it wow but uh yeah it, it's weird. That's pretty cool. It's called, I think, the D-D-A-N-Z-I-S. The Danzis or something like that. That's pretty interesting shit, man. Yeah, we take it for granted. As censored as our media is, we're still doing way better than a huge chunk of the rest of the world. That's true. What do you think about this fucking Occupy Wall Street thing, man?

Because this is, you know, people are actually getting mad at me for not talking about this. And I've had people get mad on my message board, mad at me on Twitter. People are very passionate about it. I've been retweeting things left and right. Retweeting videos, retweeting all kinds of things about it. And I've been trying to formulate an opinion on it.

And first of all, it's very exciting. And what's exciting is that it seems like for the first time in my life that I can remember, people are standing up to the government, standing up to the federal bank

in a giant way. Huge. I've never seen this before. I've never seen just droves of people in the streets sleeping there, staying there,

cops losing their fucking shit, man. Cops freaking out because of stress and punching people. Have you seen these people getting maced? Oh, yeah. All this shit that's going on, man. White shirts.

Yeah, dude, they're becoming white shirts. People are calling. I never heard cops called white shirts before, man. Now that's what I hear. A white shirt punches a female protester. Video on YouTube. They're violent. You're watching it.

Is that what it is? The white shirts are violent. The white shirts are violent the white shirts are the ones who are higher up and they they seem to be more entitled yeah they're the videos coming back that i've seen it's always a white shirt and they're like kind of like fucking thug fat they've got that thug fat with you know what i'm talking about like yeah they're like bell-shaped or something and they're just like fucking pop people in the face by the way whoever that cop is what a bitch ass right hand you have dude that was a terrible punch oh yeah it was all like down it was the worst you had no technique and as

a professional fight commentator i was appalled if that was dexter yeah yeah like dexter i gave up on dexter because he had a shitty rear naked choke. John Lithgow had a shitty rear naked choke. Choking some girl. I gave up on the whole season. That show's done for me almost. You done? I'm giving it a couple more episodes.

This season's been sloppy, bad acting, bad editing, bad writing, bad everything. Yeah. You can only do a show for so long until you take yourself too seriously. Yeah, that's right. No shows ever last. That's the cool thing about the BBC is they'll just do it. They're like, it's only going to be one season. Tell the story in a season.

It's not going to be based on whether it's popular. We do it and tell the story and that's it. And so you get more quality shows. You don't get this shit where they extend and extend and extend. And then it ends up petering out in a crappy way. Well, the crazy thing is that we take those BBC shows, redo them with American class, make them much more mediocre.

And ruin them. And they go on forever. Yeah, they just stretch out, go on fucking forever. For years and years and years. But, dude, I watched the fucking Walking Dead 2 episode 1, or rather, Walking Dead season 2 episode 1 today. Damn, it is so good. Every time I watch that show, I end up curled up in my fucking chair

like jesus jesus jesus it's a good zombies in that show are so fucked up yeah that's a that's a legit show you know what else a legit show american horror story oh is that good fx yeah i just started watching that i'm gonna start watching that yeah it's good creator of glee it's creepy as fuck is it really is it really yes it is wow well he went deep dude this is that's cool this is they're doing shit but you can't i don't want to um spoiler alert no i won't say listen i won't tell anybody because it's a real recent show but they they do some shit that i've never seen people do on tv where i'm like wow you can do that now feels kind of twin peaks ish or something yeah it's freaky it's kind of david lynch ish

you know sort of gay horror movie no no it's scary man it's itaky it's kind of david lynch-ish you know sort of horror movie no no it's scary man it's it's it's interesting man i i like it dude um but to get back to the occupy wall street thing yeah um it's fucking insane how it's spreading all over the globe yeah not just in america it's spreading everywhere it's and you can't you know it's funny how many videos you know people people have taken up. What are you doing over there? Sorry about that. I got the Mayan calendar here.

I'm clutching it as we talk about the revolution. People are always trying to marginalize things. Did you ever see those videos that there's a really funny guy made with Sarah Palin's people waiting in line for a book signing of Sarah Palin? He's interviewing them. Columbus, Ohio. In Columbus, Ohio. And they're all almost retarded. They have no idea what she stands for.

They have no idea what's wrong with this country. They have no idea. They're hooked into the cult of personality. So it's clip after clip of him interviewing these people and these people just being completely fucking clueless. I know. And I've seen a few of those where people have done that about the Occupy Wall Street movement, where they sit down with some young kid and they take the kid and they catch him on some facts

and they school him about corporate taxes. It's just like one snotty guy with an English accent that found one dumb dude. But I can't believe that that's the only person you ran into. Stupid. That's the video you made? You went down there, there's 100,000 people sleeping on the ground, screaming at these fucking cunts and whores who've been ruining and poisoning our financial system, and all you can find is this one guy. That's your depiction? Yeah. It's weird, right?

Well, they want to sabotage it bright bart was down at occupy la you know bright bart is yeah he was down at occupy la i was there with a friend of mine heidecker tim heidecker we went down there together and fucking um past bright bart on the street you know you know tim heidecker is tim and eric show yeah yeah yeah i love that guy ever and this one of my favorite shows we're walking down the street and i only not a name drop i'm only saying it because it's this seems my favorite shows but we're walking down the street and i only not a name drop i'm only saying it because it's this seems really out of character if you know that show walking down the street past fucking bright bart and heidecker i didn't even recognize him

heidecker no hesitation it's like hey bright bart you piece of fucking shit get the fuck out of here you fucking piece of shit screaming at bright bar like instantaneously pissed bright bar it's like yeah yeah heidecker's like you dope he caps it off with you dope but it was it was so awesome to see i'm like dude what the fuck there was no filter it was like it was like when my dog sees a squirrel. It was just this instantaneous, you motherfucker. Why is Breitbart such a piece of shit? Well, because he slants his stories. He got in trouble recently because this black lady is in charge of some form of housing or something.

I can't remember the exact thing, but she was giving a speech and talking about how there was a white family that needed some kind of financial help from this organization. And she's like, you know, they're white, and I didn't want to help them. So that was the first. I remember that story, yeah. And then the next part is her being like, but then I realized I should help them. But Breitbart only puts up the part where she's like seemingly a racist that gets her fucking fired uh and then they tried to rehire but she wouldn't go back she's like fuck you if you're gonna fire me for some bullshit that

breitbart pissed off put pissed up on the internet but what she actually said was that um she realized that you know there's you know that it's it's not about who's black or who's white. It's about who needs things and who needs help. It was like a lesson. She was talking about when she was younger or earlier in her life, how she thought about things. But now she realized differently. She was just talking about growing as a human being. I mean, what?

If you don't start off perfect, you have to shoot yourself in the fucking head right you know you can't have ever been a racist when you were younger or said racist things because you were being insensitive or dumb or conditioned by your environment you know the idea that people can't can't grow is gross but then that mollusk breitbart that human fucking slime he like feels okay it's create that's that's just creating evil that's like to me that's a if you want to believe in evil that guy Breitbart is like an example of that where you can rationalize showing a skewed um depiction of something that you've intentionally put up there seemingly intentionally put up there to fuck someone over and to try to push your agenda ahead well that's just basic internet journalism.

I mean, the internet, that's what you do. You take a section of something, put a dot, dot, dot. Don't take it out of context. And you can put it on an article and have that be something that someone finds. And then they'll read your stupid site. That's how people do it. People do that in MMA reporting. They do it in everything, man.

Well, that's fucked up. Of course it's fucked up but it's it's that's how it's done well right i mean that's the problem you watch a fucking news what he's doing though i mean in in that in that one situation you know what he's doing is you know it's especially sleazy because he's you know someone exposed themselves to him in a really introspective way where she was honest about her own shortcomings and realized the right thing to do and did the right thing. So when someone exposes himself like that and sort of does it in a way

where they're trying to let you know how they think in a better way and that that's the right way to think and then you just take a little snippet of that and make them look like a cunt. That's just a shitty human move. That's a shitty thing for a human to do. Well, he's a tarantula.

And the fact that people like that are allowed to carry on, the fact that people like that are allowed to continue to spread their poison and lies and filth throughout the world without anyone doing anything to stop it. Like fucking Glenn Beck. Did you see that quote by Glenn Beck saying the Occupy Wall Street protesters are going to drag you out of your homes or something? Yeah, people were tweeting.

It was on... Well, listen. They will. He's right. He's right. You think they find a banker's house? You think when they get a fucking giant group of them and there's one cunt that got a hundred million dollars in the bailout and he got his his giant you know parachute reward for whatever for fucking over x amount of people

and they know he's right behind some gates in new haven connecticut or wherever the fuck they'd be i guess bridgeport that's where all the rich people live dude yeah people are gonna go after that guy of course they are i. This is a mob, man. This is a mob. They're not going to. It's not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing. There's way too many drum circles in that mob

to be dragging bankers out of their house. I think a lot of them are enjoying it for the best. You say that. You say that. But look, no one's doing anything violent, and I'm not accusing anyone of doing anything violent. What I am saying is that if there was one guy's house, and you knew that this one guy was responsible for a lot of evil fucking shit and a lot of people

lost their homes and a lot of people became homeless and a lot of people lost their life savings and this guy is prospering are you talking about the president are you talking about the white house no i'm talking about better the people who pay the white house right yeah yeah well you know man i don't know i think that the um the you definitely have got a at some point if you really do want to uh have a revolution you're gonna have to you know maybe do a little dragging out of houses here and there but exactly you know like if that is what you want i just think that we're i don't know that this is but i don't know i mean the crowd psychology it really could spread and perhaps that's the weird thing about this kind of my like very tiny little well in the grand scheme of

things the very first spark of revolution we're seeing the spark of revolution we're seeing a fuck i think it's a spark that we're fire freedom it's a fire that springs up when people are being oppressed and it's a beautiful thing to see it's a beautiful type of fire and it's a spark. The fire of freedom. It's a fire that springs up when people are being oppressed. And it's a beautiful thing to see. It's a beautiful type of fire. And it's a very dangerous type of fire. And it's killed millions of people throughout time. But when you see the very first spark of it like that, right, and you think, holy shit,

there could be living among us right now the future's equivalent of like George Washington. There could be right now living among us the first post-revolution leader. You know what I mean? There could be someone right now. If this shit spread and there was a coup. Listen, you don't want to put that thought out there. The cult of personality and some wacky motherfucker think he's going to be the next Jesus. Oh.

Runs this whole thing. But. No, the beautiful thing about this whole Occupy Wall Street is there's no leader. That's the beautiful thing. This is a hive mind conclusion. It's way better this way. Your idea sucks. The idea of having one new George Washington cunt, one new shithead.

Listen, fuck all those leaders. We don't need leaders. We all know what's right. We all know what's right. And what's right is that this system sucks. Once this system gets broken down, then they need to come up with a new leader. Joe, rise to power. Listen to me.

Take the throne. They need someone who's... Winter is coming. Someone who's done a lot of mushrooms. That's what they need. Yeah, sure. Well, they need a group of people. You got to... Yeah, of course.

Here's a fun thing to think about. It's fun to think about, okay, let's say that Obama and the entire government get their feelings hurt by Occupy Wall Street, and they're like, all right, you guys, here are the keys. Come on in. We're on the show. And you are one of the people that gets picked. What do you do? How do you redo things?

What are the steps you take to redo things? Do you get rid of the Federal Reserve? I guess that's the first thing. That would be like saying, here, clean out Ted Bundy's car and you can drive it. That's what that would be like. Why would you want to take over

this crazy fucking organization that has deep, deep roots in criminal behavior and murder all over the globe? You're just going to take over and what? You're going to make everything, oh, instead we're going to drop lollipops and flowers on everybody and pull out of all what

are you going to do though you wouldn't even how the fuck like you remember you were talking about starcraft yeah i'm talking about all different things you have to manage and click on this and click on that imagine trying to run the united states of america the military industrial complex and its deep deep deep roots into the financial system and the cia and the nsa and you know the fact that the cia is essentially a shadow government a government inside the government that does everything including murder people yep so it's all of it it's like you try to take over this that's what i'm saying how could you so what's the answer well the answer is you would never get first of all you can't have access to all the fucking top secret information until you become the president, right?

And even then, we don't know what the fuck they really tell you about. So you would have to go there and then learn everything that the American public doesn't learn. Learn everything about what we're doing in Beirut. Learn everything about what we're doing in Israel. Everything that we've got going on in Pakistan. You would have to fucking be abreast of all of it. And then if you were really the leader, you know. I'm not even saying one leader.

I'm saying imagine if. But I'm saying it's impossible to fix. I'm saying you said, what would you do when you get in there? So if it's impossible to fix, then what's the next best solution? It has to be an internet based system. We have to have a system of government

that's through the internet because through the internet, people can really communicate. You can have civilizations and you can have communities in the internet. I have a system of government that's through the internet because through the internet people can really communicate you can have civilizations and you can have communities on the internet i have a community the rogan board it's a community on the internet and we've established clear patterns of behavior in that community and you know there's it's hard for any message board when you have a bunch of people to keep people in line keep people cool but generally speaking that that message board is pretty filled with interesting people cool conversations and if you're a cunt they throw you in the retard room right and there's a there's a there's a special it's like an observatory yeah the the holding cell and then you get a pink

name and you can only talk with the other assholes it's like all the assholes get lumped in together that that is a community and that's a community where you have just a few people running in and people get upset that the few people that are running it are being too you know they're you know they're closing things down and yelling at people and abusing power and then you have to scale things back and you have to make some sort of a happy medium a happy you know a happy community where everybody agrees right the only way to do that in in our world right now the thing that makes the most sense to me is the internet because the internet is a way that everybody has a fair shot at communicating who they are. You have a fair shot of expressing yourself.

You have a fair shot at agreeing and disagreeing. I think it's the Reddit system. I think Reddit's figured it out with the upvote system. It's some version of that. Perfect. Something like that. Yeah, that's very similar to what I was talking about, like having a message board, having an online community.

You know, real live communities, of course, you've got to deal with a lot of different shit. It's a lot more complicated. But I think the idea that we could run the world through the Internet is eventually going to be some sort of a reality because we'll be able to have, I mean, how can you influence other countries? How can you influence this country?

How can you influence large groups of people? You've got to be able to communicate with them. Right. And there's no better tool of communication other than the internet. But don't you think we're still going to have a problem with the same reason why you look at, like, in the middle of the country, there's still going to be people voting for Annoying Orange, you know, in those stupid, annoying videos where you see on YouTube, and you're like, how does that have 90,000 hits?

Who's watching this movie? And so you have the majority of the people you know what I mean? Yeah, I see what you're saying. You know, look, the real issue is we're all trying to pretend that everyone's equal. And everyone's not equal. We're just not. You know, we're not equal of mind. We're not equal of

body. We're not equal of chance. We're not equal of opportunities. We're not equal of body, we're not equal of chance, we're not equal of opportunities. We're not. It's a random hodgepodge of human beings. And because of that, people are very hesitant to admit that if you're going to make a really big, important decision, there's some people that shouldn't be included in that decision. The fallacy being the majority is always right. Right, yeah. Especially in a country that's been baby-fed, like this motherfucker has for the last few decades.

We've been baby-fed. There's no fights here on our soil. We get attacked once, and we go all apeshit, create two wars with people that never touched us, and somehow justify the entire thing. Meanwhile, we were attacked by suicide bombers. The people that attacked us are dead on impact, and yet we still branch out all over the globe this is our one thing we've been baby fed our whole existence so for us so what so what so it's

some kind of like so the idea would be it's and i'm not by the way i'm not expecting to invent some new form of government right now on a podcast, but it's a fun thing to think about. Like, okay, so it's like some kind of upvote system, but that still implies a majority still making the decision. It's always going to be hard. It's always going to be hard. There's no perfect way to do it, but I think you can develop a good... Make the voting system be really expensive.

What the fuck? Why would you do that that's ridiculous make the voting 50 because then i lost my train of thought because of that how dare you no no no but what i'm saying is like you know the the dumber person doesn't have the high-paying job so they can't no that's not true that's for there's a lot of fucking real idiots that are really rich you'd be amazed dude business Business owners. I've had emails with business owners where they send me emails and I'm just like, you thought that's the spelling of that? What the fuck? This guy has like 100 employees.

Some people are just ambitious, but they're idiots. They're just fucking... They figure out a way to bulldog their way through things, but they're still stupid as fuck. Like this Herman Kane character. He's a Bible-believing Christian. He wants to be the king. Oh, dude, let me tell you this. I was going to tell you before the podcast.

You know, Herman Cain has been quoting, and man, if you pull it up, it's a funny quote. Sometimes in his speeches, a couple of speeches, he's like, to quote a special poet. And he quotes Donna Summers. He says it's a poet. he quotes Donna Summers he says it's a poet he quotes Donna Summers and what he's quoting is the theme song that she wrote for a poke for the Pokemon movie so Herman Cain is quoting Donna Summers from a Pokemon

movie yes what is the message can you look it up the thing it's not exactly it's not even like that smart a statement. It's like stupid. You can play the song. If you look up the song on YouTube, you'll find a video with like Pokemon dancing around. All right, here it is. A poet once said, life can be a challenge. Life can seem impossible, but it's never easy when there's so much on the line.

And so I guess that's... That summers from the pokemon movies economic engine moving by putting fuel in the engine although the rest of it won't matter a poet once said life can be a challenge life can seem impossible but it's never easy when there's so much on the line we have a lot on the line now look up that look up donna summer's pokemon and play the musical version of what he quoted all right and do you know his tax plan you know about his tax plan right he wants to tax nine percent nine nine nine is his tax plan and it's the same tax plan from sim city wow so he's like quoting he's quoting Pokemon, and his economic system is based on SimCity. Does he have kids? No, he's got grandkids.

That's what it is. I bet he was just sitting there going, I like what he just said right there. Now, how am I going to do it as a Bible-believing Christian? What are some tenants? SimCity worked for me. It's amazing, man. And also the fact that he said that thing about the poet all right not knowing someone's just gonna do a simple google search and the pokemon theme's gonna come up well

he probably is like maybe he's a pokemon player and he thinks that's cool if he was a pokemon player he would get my vote that would be awesome yeah i would vote for him right away if he played pokemon but joe the other thing i was telling b, his tax plan, Herman Cain's got this tax plan. 9%, 9%, 9%. Yeah, I remember that. But you know where that comes from, right? No. Sim City. Or Devil Worshippers upside down Devil Worshippers. It's the same tax plan they use in Sim City.

Like EA's really excited about it because it's their basic tax plan. Are you serious? Look it up. Look up Herman Cain's Sim City. It's amazing. So he got his plans from video games? Pokemon

and SimCity were two major influences on who may be the Republican presidential candidate. I am voting for him. He's just a guy they're moving into position to take the black people away from Obama. The black people can have a different alternative to support someone that's intelligent.

I mean, they went through an amazing time. First black president ever. Incredibly articulate and intelligent. But now, most people in this country are disappointed with Obama. They say his approval rate is some ridiculously low, like 30% or something. That's an asshole.

So that's 70% of the people. That's a lot of black people out there. They're disenfranchised. And their idea is to use this Herman Cain guy and go, look at this. We got a very intelligent, hard-nosed guy who's super successful, made his way to the top. Godfather's Pizza. All on his own.

Yeah. Business owner. He owns Godfather's Pizza. Are you serious? Yeah. I am voting for this guy. That's the best pizza ever. Shit. Godfather's Pizza. That's all you Yeah. I am voting for this guy. That's the best pizza ever. Shit, Godfather's Pizza.

That's all you need. If you want to retard like Brian. Diary on bread. Seriously, did you guys have Godfather's growing up, though? No. Oh, it's delicious. Is it? Yes.

What? Dude, I had Nicky's Pizza in White Plains, New York. It's right down from Executive Billiards. It's the best fucking pizza on the planet. You got to have real East Coast pizza. The water's different. Pizza out here is just not the same. People say that.

It tastes pretty good here. I had a friend. Still good. I had a friend who would order pizzas from New York, and there's like special services that will rush pizzas that are like on dry ice from New York to you. Whoa.

So he ordered one of these pizzas. He said it was terrible. There's places in Los Angeles that ship the water. Yeah. I think Boston Pizza does that, don't they? He said it was terrible. There's places in Los Angeles that ship the water. Yeah. I think Boston Pizza does that, don't they? They ship it from Boston. Isn't that weird that there's water? There's a difference in the water?

Yeah, it is weird. Yeah. What the fuck is the difference? I didn't know it was the water. I thought it was something else like the parametric pressure. They say bagels are no good out here either. Really? Yeah.

It could be moisture in the air, too. It could be a lot of things. It's the fluoride in the water. It's probably not so fucking good to be living in an oven like this. No moisture in the air. You know, whenever you go to like Houston in July, you go, oh, wow, this is what it's like to be in wet air, wet, damp air. Well, I'll tell you this.

If you didn't know anything about the planet and someone like flew you around the planet and said, where do you want to live? You're not going to be like, hey, what's into that giant yellowy cloud of smog i think i want to live there that that over overpopulated thing festering with yellow smog let's live there i don't i don't want to live around all this green shit well that has nothing to do with the climate anyway i mean people aren't living this way anyway people are living here for um industry for the industry that's why you live well the industry's here because there's not that many rainy days. That's why they first moved the movie business here.

They're like, Jesus, we got this one spot where it never gets, you know, ridiculously hot. Phoenix gets stupid hot. Phoenix cracks it up even more than L.A. So it's like a little bit cooler than Phoenix. It's by the ocean, and it never rains. Oh, but think of that fucking ocean. Once I went down to venice beach

on a whim and went swimming in venice beach i was pissing out of my asshole man i got so sick from swimming there are people swimming there are people at venice beach floating in the waves having a great time i'm fucking diapers floating by really yeah it's filthy water i'm an idiot for swimming in it but it's like it's disgusting not to mention they do these like measurements of the amount of feces in the sand uh it's because it's you know it's a beach at the edge of like a a massive city and all that water runs in there all the fucking chemicals and god knows what weird shit old fucking decomposing hookers and just nasty shit rushing out of the city. Dead rats and fucking hypodermic needles.

I'm surprised people swimming at Venice Beach don't just immediately dissolve in the water. It's disgusting. It's probably good for your immune system to swim there. It's like a challenge. It's like lifting weights for your immune system. If you did it all the time you probably never get sick you could just go and swim anywhere man you would get you well maybe i don't know i i think it's you got

to go up the coast anyway if you're going to go out in the water around here you have to like get away from population density what do you uh think about that garbage patch situation that's a scary thing oh yeah what's that garbage patch in the middle of the pacific ocean yeah i think there's more than one the guy or whatever they call it what they call it the north atlantic gyre so there's a weird name for it this is just dead just dead water nothing's living in it it's just no i'm talking about the garbage patch the god yeah the fucking they have a weird name for it like the north there's a name for it called they call it a gyre so i don't know can you look i'm talking about where all the garbage from all the different countries pools up into one big pocket.

Yeah, I know, and it's all swirled together. It's like rubber duckies. But there is a different thing with dead water. They've had mass fish die-offs. Oh, no. We're talking about the same thing. Okay, we are. Okay.

So what we're talking about is this big slick of, I mean, not even. It goes below the surface, deep below the surface of plastic it's like like the size of a state like it's enormous it's like texas sized and it's just the one spot where and a lot of it is like broken down because apparently like it's like a lot of it is plastic and after a long time in the ocean all this plastic is broken down to just like this goo sloppy fucking shit, man. And it's an enormous area that is covered in garbage. The people who discovered this and then the people who have been investigating it, the scientists, were horrified.

I mean, what a crazy discovery to find out that when you go, wow, these people are living right next to the ocean, and the ocean seems to be okay. No, the fuck it does. No, there's giant patches of all people's bullshit that they've thrown in there yeah it just rolls into the middle dude i might my um and no way to fix it either my uh my um my mom has some property on this little island off the coast of georgia and it's like kind of like empty out there and i'll uh i'll uh you go walking on the beach there because uh i'll uh you go walking on the beach there

because no one's there you go walking on the beach there and the shit that comes up on that beach it's like dude it's the weirdest fucking thing because it's like bottles from jamaica and like like there was we found like one of those old like refugee rafts that somebody had like fabricated together just kind of twisted and washed up there. It's so fucking weird how interconnected everything is via the ocean. It's really, really strange that the currents just carry coconuts. It's fucking crazy. It's like people love to live under the illusion that we're not all connected.

That's one of the things that people really like to believe, that there's no interrelation between what you do and the rest of the world and what the rest of the world does and you. When the truth of the matter is we're completely connected in every single fucking way. We're all one big thing pretending that it's made up of individuals. And the result of that kind of thinking is you get fucking a giant patch of dead water in the middle of the ocean. And then that's not affecting other things.

God knows what that's affecting. Like having that much dead space that used to be alive and filled with fish and dolphins and whales and God knows what that's affecting. Like having that much dead space that used to be alive and filled with fish and dolphins and whales and God knows what else. It's just dead space. I used this quote in the last podcast, but I'll say it again because you're here because it's the perfect quote. Some guy said that the human race and the way it deals with the environment and the resources is like people that are living in a 10-story building. And every day you go down to the first floor and you pull a couple bricks out and then

you get on the roof and you start building another floor. That's it. That's amazing. It's okay for now but we all know that eventually it's going to fall apart. This shit isn't going to work. Pokemon quote. That's who's running for president. He's never

going to be president. That's a joke candidate. It's like Sarah Palin. It's like an entertainment candidate. Yeah, well, he's talking crazy. You know, when you start talking about his 7-7-9-9-9, whatever the fuck it is, tax plan. 9-9-9. That's just, everyone looks at that and goes,

get the fuck out of here. That's going to cost people more money. That's going to cost the 99% more money. What about the one? This is stupid. They're going to save money. The 1% are going to cost the 99 more money what about the one this is stupid they're going to save money yeah the one percent are going to pay less you know you're supposed to pay more than nine percent taxes when you got billions of dollars man the fuck out of here time to move to canada

it's um but this guy is a real like no nonsense sort of uh extremist character right you got to be extreme and see that's another funny thing is like people right now if that's a that's a um insult that's what they say when they're trying to discredit someone you're he's an extremist but it's like is a fireman that's in a house with a sledgehammer bashing down doors to get to your kids to pull them out because the house is on fire that's an extremist too. He's got to be a fucking extremist. He can't go into the house and kind of piddle around and be like, oh, sit down and watch some TV, and then I'll go get your daughters out.

So what is your point? My point is that right now, the overpopulation, the fact that there's so many people on the planet and that there's horrific wars happening. People have nuclear weapons. Maybe it's a time where people need to be extremists. So you need to be Herman Cain? Oh, no, not Herman Cain. That's who you're talking about. Oh, I thought you were talking about the guy

who gave you that awesome quote about taking bricks out from under the house. Oh, okay, man. Sorry, I got lost. I was trying to follow you. I was like, I don't know what you're saying. Like suddenly I'd become a supporter of Herman Cain. No, I just didn't understand. I thought you were being

ironic. I was just not getting it. No, I'm sorry. I got confused. Yeah, we certainly need something different than now. And you keep saying as if there's a leader. If there's one person that's going to pull it off. I keep saying that. I think that's one of the coolest things

about this whole Occupy Wall Street thing is because I don't think there's a fucking leader. There's no leader. You can't arrest one person and then the whole thing shuts down. There's not one figurehead. There's not one voice. I've heard Janine Garofalo talk about it, but she's not the voice. Who's the voice? There's no voice.

I don't know. I mean, there's different people who've got really smart... When I went down to Occupy Wall Street, there are these guys who have a podcast called Red List Radio, and they've really explained a lot of shit about the Federal Reserve and quantitative easing to me in a way that really helped me understand it. So I'm not saying it needs some central leader, but I think it definitely can't hurt to have some nodes

some central leader, but I think it definitely, it can't hurt to have some like nodes that are, you know, aggregators of whatever the information coming at is, which we already kind of have with like Reddit. You can go on Reddit and get good up-to-date information on OWS and stuff, but I think it's evolving. I think it's going to evolve into something and eventually there will be, there's got to be someone, if you don't want it to just be a chaotic mass, unless you believe that there's some kind of gestalt that's going to happen with this group of people that's going to somehow harmonize and create some kind of, there's going to be an effect, some kind of weird effect from all these people having sort of the same idea, then cool, but someone still has to be like, here's what we'd like to see changed. Here's what we want to have happen. And they are doing that. They're saying, abolish the Federal Reserve. That's one of the things they want to have happen. They want to tax, well, there's different versions of this, but tax like stock transactions or tax Wall Street. They want to do that. I think they want to tax the, well, I don't know what they all want.

You can't say what they all want because they all don't want that. But there is stuff that keeps bubbling up about their basic demands that does seem to be mostly right. Well, the real question is what is this going to accomplish? That's the real question. That's why it's so exciting to me because this is a period of uncertainty. It's really obvious that people are pissed off. It's really obvious that the cat is out of the bag.

Everyone knows this is a corrupt system. It's horribly, horribly corrupt. The Congress is corrupt. The Congress is bought and paid for. The president is bought and paid for. Everyone's bought and paid for, and no one's doing anything to stop any of this fucking hoarding that's going on.

No one's doing it. The fact that Obama, when he gave the bailouts, was trying to limit people, limit their rewards to $500,000. Remember that? Yep. As if, well, they need more than everyone else. Right.

We'll limit them to $500,000. No, it should be they get nothing. None of them get anything. If your fucking company needs to get bailed out, you don't get to get rewards. You don't get huge, giant fucking corporate payouts because it's in your contract no your contract doesn't exist there's no fucking business anymore it's all done you cunts you stole all the fucking money you guys robbed you don't you don't get a big bonus for that you fuckhead do you do you think do you think this is part of the uh global awakening

that everyone has been predicting forever this kind of transition shifting consciousness. Yes, I think so I think you know, there's obviously right now the financial system is Insanely complicated, you know, I've tried many many times to sit down and truly wrap my head around Stocks and bonds and dividends and shorting. I've given it a real good like solid auditing of how the whole process works and it's fucking insanely complicated right it's there's so many players and so many pieces and so many things and just the idea behind confidence raising and lowering the value of something and stocks climbing and falling the whole thing being alive and mobile and

constantly fluctuating it's like what the fuck is this right what the fuck do you got going on here what kind of this is what we're running our system on we're running the money of our system on this crazy unpredictable sporadic fucking pulsating, changing thing. Yeah. Numbers ups and downs and sell by. This chaos is the foundation of our society. I'm like, wow, that's kind of nutty. That shouldn't be that way. The society should be much more stable. I understand that people have gotten insanely wealthy through this situation.

Right. And they don't want to change it because they get good at it and they know how to continue to be insanely wealthy through through this situation but that ain't right man it's supposed to be based on something it's supposed to be one piece of gold equals one donkey that's the that's the easy way for us to do it yeah you start getting into stock markets and dividend i understand there's there's a need for credit i understand there's a need for a lot of things i understand there's a lot of there's a lot of shit that's going on where it's going to be weird, where people are holding money and saving money and putting money

here and zeros there, but it's got to be a way more simple system than the system we have now, because there's too much room to fuck with it. There's too much room for shenanigans. It doesn't have to be the system we operate under. The system we operate under should be simple and stringent, and should be

really easy to follow. And that's way easier said than done, but that's what we really need to do. Well, yeah, it's definitely, that's a big part of it, but there's like a thing underneath that too, which is that the people have got to start learning

that buying constantly, thinking that you need to have new shit. Yeah, that's bad bad but you know what's worse interest you know what's worse this idea that a credit card company can charge you 30 fucking percent on your money this idea that you know interest for the longest time was illegal it was against the law you you couldn't ask for interest but people what i'm saying is for hundreds of years those credit card companies and again this like, I know right now this is a long way away. Maybe it'll never happen.

But that couldn't function. Credit card companies couldn't function if people had learned to gain pleasure from things that wasn't based on matter. Well, that's sort of silly. Because when were they, are they allowed to buy things? Sure. What if they don't want to have a fucking stack of money on them? They know the cards are sure you know you can know you can totally like like what Brian said he grew up poor and he Wants to get an Xbox and all that stuff, but I think that as people's is people start getting smarter and start evolving what? Hopefully will happen is people will be able to distinguish that I will

hopefully will happen is people will be able to distinguish that I will overcome this idea that they're going to be happier if they have a really nice car. You are correct. However, I think you're naive in your portrayal of what credit cards get used for. I think most people, especially people who have families, they use their fucking credit cards to eat. They use their credit cards to put gas in their car. They use their credit cards to pay for things. They don't have a big pile of money. It's not simply a matter of the entire country is filled with materialists that have overstepped their boundaries. No, there's people out there struggling, dude. And that's what they use their credit card for. And it's not saying if you didn't have a credit card, you'd be better off because you wouldn't be a materialist.

No, no, no. I know exactly what you're saying. I know it seems naive, but I'm saying you're addressing the external manifestation of an internal problem that's existing in our culture as an idea of what it means to be happy. That's what I think. And I know people need credit cards now to pay for their family and all that stuff. To pay for other credit to pay for other credit cards but i know a lot of people are their lives have gotten to the point where they get in in this fucking car that they use credit to buy to drive to a job to to drive two hours a two-hour commute to get to a job where they have to work all fucking day long and then they come back in

the two-hour commute completely exhausted and they think this is the way we're supposed to be living that's no way to live that's a terrible way you're right you're right but what's the alternative well that's that's i think the idea is to begin to open yourself up to the alternative you clearly it's something to do with staying more local make like having communities of people that i'm not saying let's go back to villages joe but i'm saying there is something to be said for communities of people that I'm not saying let's go back to villages Joe what I'm saying there is something to be said for communities of people that are living close together and doing more than just waving at each other when they walk down the street that's but that's a broad solution for a singular problem that a person has if they are stuck in that sort of a situation like what is

the solution for a guy who does have credit and does have a fucking car and does have a mortgage and has a family and is driving fucking an hour and a half every day to go to work? What is the solution for that guy? Because it's not a village. It's not like moving to a village. No, I mean, the solution for that guy is to start working his way out of those fucking handcuffs. Right, but that's the real problem that most people find themselves in. Most people find themselves in a situation where they make barely enough money to get by

and not nearly enough money to break free, to step away. Especially if you have children. Well, that's the... See, a lot of people, when they came to the United States, there were intentional communities that happened. I had this great book on utopias where people were coming here. People came here, like the pilgrims, they wanted to start religious utopias. That's what they were trying to do is like restructure society in a way that they could live in a, in a, in a, in paradise and a kind of like Christian based paradise.

It didn't, it clearly didn't work. It turned into, it turned into this. Right. But the, so what you'll hear, it's the same thing you hear about communism when you hear about like people saying they want to create they want to create another society or experiment with a new way to live. People are like, it doesn't work. You can't do it. Making these alternative communities doesn't work. There's no way.

They always fall apart. They always collapse. They end up like Waco or whatever. But I think there is a way to do it. How? I don't know yet. I haven't gotten high enough yet. I haven't eaten enough mushrooms yet.

But I do think that there is a way to do it. I don't know yet. I haven't gotten high enough yet. I haven't eaten enough mushrooms yet. But I do think that there is a way to do it. I don't know what it is. I think it has to be a small number of people. I think when you get over a certain amount of people, there's a thing called diffusion of responsibility. And it's like if you're around, if there's 300 people there, you're more likely to get raped than if there's three. Because there's 300 people there, all those people think someone's going to help.

Someone's going to step in. Someone's going to step in and help. But no one does. And they don't feel responsible because there's so many other people there. Well, no one did. I didn't step in, but no one did. If it's just you and that one person getting raped, you feel obligated. You have a responsibility. You're a human being. You're right there.

When we get past the diffusion of responsibility number with human beings, which're right there. When we get past the diffusion of responsibility number with human beings, which is exactly why we all should have a real philosophical problem with drones and wars overseas with people that we don't understand and we don't know, and we don't know why we're doing this. It's easy when it's so many people and it's so far away. It's way over there. But if it's right here at home, then it hits you fucking hard. Then you feel that responsibility.

The weather underground, bring the war back home. Human beings, I think, are still designed in a system, our minds function in a system that works with a small group of people where we know everybody. When we branch out of that, we are not designed to deal with the internet, like communicating with people in complete anonymity. Why do you think people are such fucking complete rabid cunts online? Well, because they're frustrated in their everyday life,

and when they get online, they have this anonymity, and they can just lash out at people and fuck with people and score points, and they actually enjoy it. They get off on it. Do you think we could ever get to a point where we could be like every state is their own country, like how it

should be, you know, like how it is kind of like you have your state laws but have less of a nation government. They're there to protect us. You say that but we fuck with too many other countries, man. You need national security. That's it. Yeah, but they won't do that because

then they start fucking putting you in situations look eisenhower warned about the military industrial complex and it sounds like some you know alex jones sounds like some nutty shit when you know you start talking about the idea that people are trying to go to war for money but they fucking are man and the only way to to keep people uh in war is you have to you have to force people you have to fucking make them go attack people you have to you know ship them over to different places yeah you know and you have a bunch of states if every state really was like its own country and the united states didn't act as a whole it wasn't out there fucking around with all those different parts of the world we wouldn't have you know it would be completely different

setup well it seems like that would make a lot more sense though because it seems like it's too fucked up on a large scale that breaking it down into 50 pieces would be the only way to really save any you know get any kind of order from it the only way to get any order out of it is it's got to break down and then be rebuilt properly that is a that idea is a is an idea that i i some i teeter on i i'm because i well i don't want it to i don't want it to break i don't want it to break i don't want the fucking thing to collapse and i don't want i don't i i like i like i like my life and i like it here and i don't want the power to shut off and i don't want i don't want so i so but i i consider it and i keep thinking, well, probably it's going to require some kind of blip at that level for everything to get better.

But I love letting my mind consider, okay, but what if there's another option? Well, the other option is technology. That's it. The other option is there's going to be, this is what I, if I had to guess what I think is going to happen, barring natural disasters or any extreme world conflict that becomes nuclear, what's going to happen is we're going to have some sort of a connection through online communication that literally allows people to look inside each other's heads. Yeah, that's what I think. I've thought that. Do you think the same way?

Oh, fuck yeah, man. I've thought that. I've thought it's the ultimate. Yeah, what it is is it allows you to experience another person's consciousness. Yes, exactly. Exactly. It allows you to even be inside another person's mind. Yeah.

And then we all can link up as one mind. And that's not nearly as difficult as it sounds when you think about what we've already been able to do. The fact that we can send video through the fucking sky. When I was in Australia, my wife was sending me pictures of the baby. And she sends me pictures of the baby, and I get them in a second. Bleep. Bleep. Right.

Images, photos, video. It's fucking craziness, man. The idea behind it is insane. You can send a fucking picture and somehow or another it goes through these where's it go it goes through the air and then eventually it hits some fucking metal box it's got electricity and it sends it to the other side of the fucking planet in a second through the ocean and over the sky how the fuck is it even getting there who knows i have no idea but i know it was thereink. And that to me is way crazier, way crazier than the ability to

experience someone else's consciousness. You experience your consciousness, right? You're tuned into your own consciousness. You're there. You're inside your head. How do we know it's not just a simple frequency? You tune into it when your mind and my mind lock up together and become one consciousness well that's a funny moment too that moat because what would happen is that because as this technology began to spread it would you know start off in a laboratory where one scientist would merge minds with another scientist and that would change their lives forever just merging minds with one person in a real way is going to forever change you because you'll know how similar you

are to someone else. You'll know if maybe you're completely different. Maybe this person is actually happy in your whole life. You've been lying about being happy to yourself and suddenly feel someone who's really happy. And you're like, oh shit, that's what it feels like. That's what real happiness feels like. And then you know how to become happy yourself. So what would happen is it would spread from the laboratory. It would spread out. But eventually, people would rise up against it. They'd be like, don't plug into the mind.

If you plug into the mind, you won't want to come back. You won't be able to come back to your life. People would fight it. It would be a form of suicide. Because after you've experienced consciousness at the scale of the merged minds of 15 million people, how are you going to come back to your one little mind? It would just turn into these pods of people. You'd be like, just get out of my head, you freaks. I've got to go beat off.

What are you going to do? Are you going to beat off into the hive mind? Fuck, yeah. The sex. There'd be huge orgies online. It would probably be just some massive orgasm. off into the hive mind fuck yeah the sex there'd be huge orgies online it would be these it would be probably be like just some massive orgasm because like also think of the learning so okay i don't know how to do like jujitsu but i merge consciousness with someone who's an expert at it

and suddenly i'm like learn everything that they know about it you would everyone would instantaneously gain the information of everyone else everyone would become experts simultaneously and that would create like a surge forward in evolution i think that's that fucking singularity mckenna's talking about is it's everybody's like the computers are gonna crush us it's like no that's not what it is we're just gonna merge with them we're gonna become part of a of an electronic web of consciousness. And the moment everyone becomes an expert, that's the moment that, you know, with our minds together, that's when you create the time machine, or that's when you create teleportation, or that's when you create some new form of life. It seems like it's inevitable.

Inevitable. And it is inevitable. You said this to me once, Brian, about the human brain. You said it's input-output. It's like all we have to do is figure out what the fucking output is of this electricity up in your brain. Understand how that works. Figure out a way to input that into a machine where it can decode it. And then you've got it. Then you have electronic telepathy. And they're already verging on that.

They're already sort of learning how to identify certain like patterns in the brain you know how like they can show someone they can do a brain scan on someone and show them a picture of a room and tell if they've been in that room or not do you know about that yeah so it's like that's that's pretty crazy isn't it it's fucked up man it's fucked up if you want to try to get away with something because it's incredible yeah you've been in here before you're like no i haven't never seen it before no you definitely have like we can tell it's just the next step is okay well can we extract images from a person's mind can we start we've talked about this before yeah images and video yeah they've already done this so then then that's that that's it man then it's really crude right now but you know obviously

looks pretty good it looks kind of like if you were to blow up an old cell phone video from 1991 or something like that and blow it up big so yeah that's an it's inevitable so then the next step of course is going to be like you know perfecting that technology and then the next step is going to be like okay so i know that when someone's feeling happiness then this is the part of his brain that gets activated. Now all I've got to do is record that activated part of his brain, play that video back inside someone's brain, figure out a way to stimulate someone else's brain

with that same activity, and boom. Instead of fucking... There'll be emotional records. You know what I mean? Instead of record players, there'll be these emotional devices where they'll be like these emotional devices where it'll be like the feelings of a summer day.

I don't even know if we're going to get that indulgent, man. If we all link up, I think the link up is probably going to be before the recording. I think the link up

is probably going to come first. I'm hoping. I'm hoping it doesn't just become a self-indulgent wine fest where people get together and drink and watch people experience breakups oh a terrible breakup it's all memories of breakups they go through it on purpose oh my god i went through the worst breakup last night my husband came home it's not your husband it's his fucking thing okay but in the in the program my husband came home we

had four children together we were struggling and he was running off to mexico with his secretary and i was devastated. And he said, let the kids starve. I don't give a fuck. And he left me. It was horrible. And he hit me. And he fucked me.

And then he left me. People will write reviews of him. If that was a real memory, people would cry. And they would go, oh, my god. You want a good cry? You have to try this. And you'll be so happy. And you'll start winning award shows for best breakups.

Wasn't there a movie about this? Of course there was. There was underground tapes of it and shit. Well, yeah, I think it's definitely going to get to that place. I can't wait. Well, the idea, if you can see something, if you look at something and then that registers an image and you can see that image on a computer,

what about your imagination? What about, is it possible to see? see i mean you're not seeing anything but where is where is what's being registered when you are having a visual experience in a dream what exactly where is that registering it's registering in your imagination i guess is there a frequency that can be tuned into just like it is with that image when you see it from the eyes is there a frequency that can be tuned into, just like it is with that image when you see it from the eyes? Is there a frequency that can be tuned into? Yeah, it must be. It must be, right?

It's got to be. I mean, definitely something's happening. There's some biochemical reaction that's happening that's producing the effect of you watching fucking Werewolf 69. It's all boiled down to we're just going to slowly break down the matter of reality itself. That's where we're at right now. McKenna described what's going to happen with the exponential increase in technology that it's like a funnel. And then if you spin a quarter around the lip of the funnel, it takes a long time to go around in a circle. But as it gets lower and lower in the funnel, it picks up speed and goes faster and faster and

faster and that's really what it's like it takes just a millisecond to make a full revolution now whereas before it was years yeah that's and and yeah it's going to be and we're experiencing the very very beginning of that and it's weird how a lot of that is like coming out in like the form of cell phones do you think that that's too convenient what that the world is going to change and the the reality itself is going to change during the time of your life i mean ever do you ever stop and think that wow maybe this is a work of fiction well no i don't i don't think i can't think it's a work of fiction because you in our in this year if you watch technological advances this fucking year this year for the first time as far as i know because i know the phones have had voice recognition technology but this

year for the first time in human history we have now we now we have a device where you can talk to it like a person i don't think you'd understand what i'm saying i'm saying life itself a work of fiction oh right like this is this is too convenient this story is all playing out oh fuck that so much of it seems so bizarre and so much of it seems so fake and you know speaking of breitbart he's the one who busted andrew weiner for showing his cock you know i mean you know you know i'm saying like these wars this economy occupy wall street rising up just as you're getting older. Yeah, right, right. Just as your body's slowly starting to slow down and you're checking your heart for weird things every now and then.

And meanwhile, everything's picking up overseas. Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum. There's more war. And then we might go to war with Iran. Ooh. It's almost like as your life becomes more and more complex and reaches the inevitable end yeah your story is getting more and more complicated your story is getting more and more involved your story the story of the world that you live in this this work of imagination

that whoever the fuck is hearing this has created and each one of us has created our own little version of it and they're all intertwined inexorably in some just crazy meshy matrix of of reality and thinking and love and peace and anger and bullshit and all intertwined together just signals just ones and zeros flying around through fucking space yeah and as you get further and further along your version of it just more and more fucked the point where you can't drink the water anymore and the sky's fucking brown and pollution and earthquakes and war and krakens yeah krakens krakens they felt they found evidence of a kraken they believe oh and that's the dinosaur bonds yeah they believe at one point in time

there was a giant mother motherfucker of an octopus. Yeah. They have fossils of imprints of giant suction cups. It's one of the things that led them to believe this. And the dinosaur graveyards that were clearly arranged the same way octopuses arrange or octopi arrange their kill. Yeah, and so they think that you know the idea the sailor is always afraid of the kraken that might have been a real animal at one point in time but it was a soft-tissued animal like an octopus is so when it's gone it's gone it doesn't

leave any evidence um yeah so you think that that's that's novelty that's like mckenna's novelty stuff like that popping up is like because m McKenna talked about how as we- I'm thinking that this whole thing might be someone's imagination. It might be your imagination. It might be my imagination. It might be a combination of everyone's imagination. I mean, things are real.

There's real laws to this life. Yeah. But God damn, it operates like a work of fiction. Well, yeah. It does kind of seem like that. It does seem like You know like You'll run into somebody Like sometimes

You'll run into someone That you haven't seen in a long time And you've thought about them And it's just the odds Of running into them Right But you know People will quote statistics

And people will try to talk you Out of thinking that way And they'll tell you Well I went through my entire life And I'm real And you didn't just think me up And I have a memory of my childhood And I'm really good at football And I learned how to play that Over years and years of hard work So I'm not a and you didn't just think me up, and I have a memory of my childhood, and I'm really good at football,

and I learned how to play that over years and years of hard work. So I'm not a part of your fucking imagination, pal. I'm a real person. You might be a part of your own imagination. You might be creating your thing with your imagination as I create mine with mine, and they intertwine. It's not either or. You know what this reminds me of?

And stop me if I've already said this before, but did I ever talk about the idea of what would happen if the universe suddenly gained consciousness out of nothingness Did I ever talk about this idea? I had I was trippin It's like so like because I was thinking like okay, what happened? What would happen if the universe woke up all of a sudden and there's nothing was here was nothing this pre Big Bang conditions, right? universe wakes up pure consciousness pure fucking consciousness no, pre-Big Bang conditions, right? Universe wakes up. Pure consciousness, pure fucking consciousness, no differentiation, just consciousness, just pure awareness, right? No body.

No body, but infinitely conscious of itself, completely aware. Now, I was thinking like that, the initial reaction to that sense of being aware that you're nothing, that you're nothingness. It's this weird resonance. It would create horror, is what it would do. It would create this anguished terror from waking up and realizing you're here, you're some primordial thing, and then that terror would be...

Why? I don't get it. Why? Well, it's like... Why would that be terror, especially if you don't have a body and you have no ego? Where's the terror? The terror comes from... This idea came to me when I was thinking like what would happen if something

fucked up and my consciousness got trapped in like a table or something like that you know what i mean oh my god how high were you i was tripping i was on lsd and i was thinking because i was looking at i was this is when i was in science class i still remember i was tripping in high school i had my head in my arms and i was looking at, this was when I was in science class. And I still remember, I was tripping in high school. I had my head in my arms. And I was looking at the fucking table. And for a second, it felt like my consciousness had shifted into the table and was kind of like trapped there. But isn't that a school of thought, that everything has a consciousness?

I mean, we've talked about it several times, that planets may very well be some sort of a superorganism that can't express itself in movement to us, so we don't think of it as a living thing or as a conscious thing. But the whole planet might have a type of consciousness. Well, imagine this. Let's just put into this weird idea the idea that this infinite consciousness had some ability to experience aloneness. You know, loneliness, aloneness. It was just by itself.

That's ridiculous because that's a human idea or an animal idea. And the only reason why you have this feeling of needing to be with someone is because that's how you fucking stay alive and don't get eaten by jaguars. It's built into our system. You can't experience, but my point is. You're attaching like these human thoughts to the universe. Well, we're the universe. We are the universe.

Humans are the universe. Right, but we are obviously here with a task. We are obviously some weird little crazy button-pushing monkey with a task. And this need for this task has ingrained into us all of these really needy characteristics that you can't associate gods with having. I'm not saying gods at all. I'm saying... Universal consciousness.

The universe itself. We are... One inarguable thing is we're an extrusion of the universe. That's what we are. We're the universe extruding itself in the form of a thing that is capable of feeling loneliness. That is capable of... Right. Well, what you're saying is that the universe is everything, including people.

Yeah, of course. The whole universe isn't just the planets. It's not just the stars. It's every organism. Everything. So we're a part of everything and we're the universe experiencing itself in this specific way the universe has divided itself the universe has divided itself into a lot of shit and part of that shit is feeling. Lonely, pain, suffering, angst, horror, happiness, joy, all of it, it is the universe experiencing itself. There's no way to deny that. Unless you think humans aren't part of the universe, unless you think you're some kind of thing that's distanced or outside of everything

else, you are part, you are infinity sticking its head into this little bubble of whatever this place is and feeling. So I, what I thought was maybe what fucking happened was this, this consciousness, it, well, what did happen is we do know it exploded. We don't know if there was something before the big bang, but we know it blew up something exploded so i was thinking maybe it had some kind of fucking nervous breakdown it shattered into a bunch of fucking infinite pieces of which were one part we're part of that or what we are is one tiny little broken shard of the universe that blew up a long time ago and it's like what i considered what I thought would be like this initial state of absolute horror, I think everyone in their own lives, in their own way, is dealing

with it in a very small level. The fear of death, the fear of merging back into the nothingness, the fear, all that stuff manifests in your life is fear and weakness. And it's like, we're like tiny little fragments of the universe trying to fix itself on a minuscule level. That's what I was thinking when I was tripping out. I think of people in a different way. And I think the reason why we have ego and desire and lust and greed and selfishness and any jealousy and all these issues, they're all negatives and positives. They're all pullers. They're attractors to get us to do specific things and most importantly to make sure that

things stay in motion and that people continue to innovate and they continue to want to produce things and continue to want to do things that are special so that they get attention or money or reward or pile up objects and i think that all these things whether they're greed or selfishness or jealousy or fear or lust all of them are essentially numbers or equations in a grand scheme of mathematical, like, what's the word? Not an algorithm, but like a program, like literally, like everything that exists, whether it's hot or cold or pleasure or pain or all these different things that the human animal and any other animal experiences

are to guide that animal into a certain direction. To make sure the deer can keep breeding and staying alive, to feed all the mountain lions, it's got to be difficult to catch. It hears a branch snap, boom. The ears turn. They're very big. They pick up everything. Why is all that there?

That's all that there is because that deer better be scared as fuck because that mountain lion can run fast, bitch, and you're so if you want to keep breeding you want to stay alive you have to be a scruffy scaredy cat little deer that freaks out yeah all the shit that we have is designed to make us move in the way that we're moving right now all of our fears anxieties greed everything if i looked at it i look at it as like a program i don't i don't look at it as like the universe is going to feel fearful like we are. It is fearful like you are if you're scared. Consciousness is like we are. I don't think that at all. I think that we are moving in this very certain direction and we are influenced by these very certain feelings and energies and emotions

because we have a goal to do. We are here on some sort of a weird task of accomplishing something, taking probably most likely the human animal to the next stage of evolution whether it's some sort of a symbiotic connection that we're going to have with computers whatever it is but it seems to me to be progress and technology driven all of it all of it all the greed and lust and material possessions and everything everything that that fuels human beings and all this is this existential wanting, you know, that I think is because that's just like the bee swarming around the queen and making a beehive. I think it's the same thing.

I think we're moving in a way that's far more complex and we have this, you know, the illusion of free will and all these other things that are sort of, you know, guiding us to believe that there's a much more grandiose thing planned to it all. But these pulls and this ego and fear and death and longing and loathing, it might really just be a part of our program that keeps us moving. What does McKenna call it? A strange attractor? Is that the idea?

So it's like there's a magnet in the future. And that's a dumb word for it. But there's a thing in the future that's drawing us towards it and causing us to organize Is it pulls us closer? It's an Omega Point. Teilhard de Chardin There's a Jesuit priest talked about this too, which is that there's an organizing principle in the future That's drawing us towards it in this sort of like spiral that we're moving towards. Yeah, it's a neat truth. He had an idea, but McKenna had a really interesting way of looking at it because McKenna's idea was that there is a foregone conclusion.

There is an end point that must be reached in that what this end point does is it makes things become more and more complex as they reach it until it literally manifests itself. It's manifesting itself in our innovation, in human beings in general, in the massive explosion of change that we have in just a few thousand years

have imparted on this planet. Like right now, we're booting up. The Earth is a computer, and it's booting up, and it's about to go bong, and then it's going to be the next thing. And I believe that, but I think it's fascinating that the universe as you are and as i am an extrusion of it talks about it as it's happening the universe is trying

to decode and understand what's happening to it in the form of human philosophy and the whole form of science or maybe it just does like you do when you're zen on stage. Maybe that's what the universe does. Maybe the universe is when you tune in to your best moments and you just do. You're just in that zone. You become zen. Maybe the universe is just ultimate zen.

The Tao. The Tao, exactly. And what we're doing by tuning in to it in little brief moments with brilliant music or a great book or an incredible movie or something that just locks into it. What we're doing is tapping into that groove that you hit when you truly hit anything excellent. And that groove is the universe itself.

And the universe is never scared and alone and all that. That's silly. It's super zen. Why can you say, but it is? How can you say that? You don't know what the universe is. No, I'm part of the universe. I'm just saying.

Isn't it possible that you're fierce? I can tell the universe no i'm part of the universe so i'm just saying isn't it possible that your fear i can tell you this this little stretch of the universe here sometimes it gets scared and feels lonely well this little stretch of the universe is its own little thing but it's still part of the universe but it's just a little a little segment that's got to accomplish all got it it's got a uh it's got a uh a task no you don't think that that's that there's there's all sort of really pragmatic reasons for fears and for lust and for desires and goals.

I think the reason doesn't... I think it seems like we're... I don't know if it's a disagreement, but my conception of it is that human beings, just like any other thing in the world, in the universe, in space-

Are part of the universe. Part of the universe. And as part of the universe, that means that the experience, the individual experience that you're having is a part of the universe having the experience. Now, the reasons that you're having the experience don't take away the fact that you're experiencing it. experience don't disc don't uh take away the fact that you're experiencing it so what i mean is if you're happy then you are one tiny little pixel of the universe experiencing happiness if you're scared you're one tiny little pixel of the universe experiencing fear you know well that sounds like

a nice cop-out to not be a pussy you're're like, oh, I'm not really a pussy. It's the universe. The universe is being a pussy through me. No, yeah, that's hilarious. What I am while I'm crying is not a pussy. No, you are. That's what I used to always say. It's the universe making me fly. What I'm saying is that you automatically associated the universal consciousness with fear and terror.

And I think you're justifying it in a backdoor situation by saying that you're a piece of the universe. We're talking about the universe being one consciousness. We weren't talking about any human beings existing. What do you think is the predominant? If there's no goal that the human being has to achieve, and if there's no conscious awareness of the temporary existence of its lifespan, because it's not a lifespan, it's not not alive it is universal consciousness that is the universe why the fuck would it be scared that's my point well I think the predominant mood on this planet is one

of fear and I think oh man I couldn't disagree more I can't really more yeah I think people are freaked out no man I think people are freaked out. No, man. Some people are freaked out. Part of people are freaked out part of the day. But if you added up 24 hours in the day and all the people, most people aren't. It's not fucking Mad Max out there, man. It ain't that bad. Oh, no.

But Mad Max, that kind of fear would be better than the kind of fear that's infected people these days. The kind of fear that's infected people these days is far worse than fighting some fucking Max Bandit with a flamethrower. The fear that people experience and not... Okay, what fear? Define. What fear are they experiencing all day? Turn on the fucking...

Watch the commercial. Okay, is it all news, man? No, not the news. I think a lot of people are out there having a good time. I've met them, man. We were in Ontario, California this weekend. Had a great fucking time. I meet there having a good time. I've met them, man. We were in Ontario, California this weekend. Had a great fucking time. I meet people having a great time, too.

It's not. The predominant mood is not fear. Fear is an element in this world. No doubt about it. I think a lot of people are scared. Yes. But they're also happy. And they're also horny.

And they're also drunk. And there's a lot of different room on the dial. There's room on the dial for all these different emotions. To say the predominant one is fear. That's the primary spot. In this country, really? I think in this country, man. Look, times are hard just like all over the world.

Terrible or orange. They don't even do that anymore, Brian. But they did it for a long time. Okay, but I think that people can dwell on that shit, and it makes it way worse than it really is. I think for sure there's some fear out there, but to say that it's the predominant emotion of people that are living their everyday lives working and having sex

and playing with their children and going to the movies, I don't think the primary one is fear. I think it's in there, but I think for the most part... Fear of death. And it's definitely not as much as it was after 9-11, you know, and shit like that. I think, if anything and it's definitely not as much as it was after 9-11 you know and shit like that I think if anything it's way better

you tend to lean towards the morose and you're applying but you're applying these thoughts to the whole of humanity I don't mean it as a hopeless thing though

I don't mean it as you don't mean fear as a hopeless thing not at all I think you gotta acknowledge it oh man but you don't have to

acknowledge it if you're just living life Enjoying yourself Go to Hawaii And see how people Are just chilling at the beach Oh dude Do you know what it's like

To live in Hawaii As someone living in Hawaii Look it up They call it like The golden cage It's so fucking expensive To live there That

To You have to work like Two or three jobs If you're a native Hawaiian It's really tough there So I mean Maybe fear is the wrong word for it what does that have to do with just chill out well no there's people on the

culture is like a chilled out culture is what i'm saying i think there's tourists on the beach but also like listen i feel like i'm to defend myself i feel like i'm gonna i'm driving deeper and deeper into a pessimistic place and and i think that maybe the way that i chose my words is like not exactly sometimes in absolutes all right you know and i think you you you chase down an idea and i do i'm guilty as well um you chase down an idea and sometime in chasing down that idea you discard or discount possible other ideas that might interfere with the path that you're on you know and that is something that a lot of people do i do it too you know it's it's dissolved i wanted what the just to finish the thought what i was trying to get at right there dissolved i want to dissolve you want to dissolve the fucking dissolve the fear

and underneath that is love is love okay what i'm saying is i don't think the universe has any fucking fear at all i think if the universe was a universal consciousness, one thing that knew everything and was by itself, I don't think it would tweak. Because I don't think it needs to be in the buddy system. I think it's the fucking universe. I think that our fears that we have are all biological. And all of our fears that we have about being alone

and our fears about dying, they're all biological. They're all just these fail-safe mechanisms designed to keep us running. But the universe as a whole? Okay, the universe as a whole. I understand. I understand this point. I'm not saying the universe as a whole is freaking out, but as individual units, definitely parts of it are freaking out.

Do you not understand that you are applying individual units to something that you initially said has no individual units? The first thing you were saying was the universe would be nothing. There was nothing there pre-Big Bang. I'm glad you said this. I'm glad you said this. It lets me throw out an esoteric Hindu word. So I'm happy that you said this. Okay, what is it? The word is, and I'm probably going to mispronounce it, the word is asinkasinkabedatatva.

And what that word translates into is simultaneous oneness and difference, which is the explanation they give for the universe, which is it's existing as an entirety, as a whole, as a gestalt, as one thing. But also, while it's existing as this one thing, it's existing as infinite number of units that are making it up. that are making it up. And so those units that are making up the sum total, some of those units, their experience is one of fear or one of anger or the more negative emotions. And whether or not this is a biological imperative, let's imagine humans didn't even exist at all. If it's just squirrels or animals, then those animals are still parts of the universe experiencing this certain emotion. Right. But isn't that just so that they can keep breeding isn't aren't these just electrical signals that trigger certain behavior patterns that allow them to continue to their little cycle on earth so whatever the fuck they're

there for whether they're to cultivate the ground so that trees grow better so they they you know they complete their cycles to dig and aerate the ground or whether they're the the human animal that you know that fucking sparks the atom that blows up the fucking earth yes you know whatever it is that all these moves that they do and and it's there's no real fear doesn't exist it's it's it's a it's a charge it's on the game okay it's a of a an influence on the game it's still i mean you well let's why don't you know why i have to use the word fear let's say say it's like, you know, orgasm. Because the experience of orgasm is a chemical reaction that's part of some grand equation working itself out.

It doesn't negate the fact that orgasms exist or that they're obviously real. So it's a real thing. thing. Whether or not we feel fear because we're in some predetermined thing that's working itself out or whether or not we feel fear because we're... Well, fear is a motivator, man. Right. It's really simple. I mean, we have a lot of investment in fear. We have a lot of investment in love. We have a lot of investment in all these things that are just motivators that they push us in certain directions. Keep us from things keep us You know you learn from bark bark bark animal can kill you run away. You know you're scared of dogs This is all these things exist. They're just they just move action. Yeah, they're just motivators

Well, I'm in no way trying to say that I understand the consciousness of the universe I'm in no way trying to say that you know I'm right and you're wrong what i'm trying to say is you automatically assume that the universe has fear because it has consciousness and i thought that was really telling i don't mean to keep going back to this point but the reason i oh oh right oh yes i see what you're saying the initial idea that the first thing that you would feel that's what you think you you attached yourself what is that called anthropomosis when you you you think i projected my you think i you think i made the ultimate that okay so i get You attached yourself. What is that called? Anthropomosis? When you add a human characteristic onto a tree or an animal? Okay, so I get it. Fear.

I made the ultimate narcissistic error in projecting my own fear. No, no, no, no. I don't think it's narcissistic. What happens when a baby pops out of a pussy for the first time? They cry. They freak out. Yeah, it's because they change environments. They fucking cry.

So in that same way, I think that when the universe first popped out, this universal consciousness, and I also must say that I do not know this. Again, to go back to the original point I made, this happened while I was drooling onto my desk

in a science class on acid. But I think that the initial burst of the universe, that feeling would be very similar to a baby crying. What the fuck? What the fuck? And it would break into a billion pieces with that. What the fuck? And that what the fuck is encapsulated in every single person. And it's our life task. And maybe this purpose you're

talking about, maybe we agree on this point. it's our life task to turn that what the fuck into this is awesome. This is amazing. Oh my God, this is the best thing that could ever happen. And maybe as that feeling begins to escalate inside of people, which are parts of the universe, then maybe it'll keep escalating and escalating and escalating so the universe goes into this like amazing cascade into like eternal bliss eternal happiness a bliss that we can't even imagine that keeps exponentially increasing and increasing and increasing and increasing and we're just one tiny node on this uh movement towards that both wrong what's the answer i don't know prove me right right yeah well you guys are just talking like for

like 40 minutes on stuff but you both can't have you right or wrong about no there's no right or wrong unquestionably what's wrong with my problem is you as a person I know you very well and you lean towards fear you know and you you you you have you know attend you're very intelligent person and intelligent people for the most part are more scared of things. Because you realize the variables. And you think of life. I think of the negative results. Yeah, you were talking about people.

And by the way, folks, sending mean messages on Twitter. No one's arguing. We're just talking. We're throwing these ideas around. What are people saying? Stop being a douche. Let Duncan talk. You're not as open-minded as you sound, man. We're throwing ideas around.. What are people saying? Stop being a douche. Let Duncan talk. You know, you're not as open-minded as you sound, man.

We're throwing ideas around. No, this is fun. No, it's like... I understand what we're doing. We're throwing ideas around. And I'm not saying that I'm right. I'm fucking for sure not right. But what I'm saying is you can't just say you know.

You can't say the universe has fear. You can't say it's... You can't... These subjects are so fucking twisted and bizarre that no one can have an absolute but you know what they're so fun to talk about and that's something brian you seem to like you don't check out i hate what ifs you don't like wasting your time like trying to figure that out you know it's just like it's like going back and forth i got it i think you can't say it's wasting your time because it's very entertaining but i think it's entertaining it's fine's like going back and forth. It's not true. You can't say it's wasting your time because it's very entertaining. It's fascinating.

It's fun. But there's no end to it because there's no answer to it. Why does it have to have an end? Because that's how my mind thinks. I want to figure out how shit works. I don't want to fucking – that's just like wasting your time. I'm not going to need to know what the secret to the life and universe is if it has conscious, if it's like a baby popping out of a vagina.

How are you supposed to be – how do you think you're supposed to be spending your time uh trying to live in the now instead of living in something you will never figure out but part of living yeah but it's interesting yeah it's fast it's interesting but there's no one's right or wrong though that's just yeah but it doesn't have to be that doesn't that doesn't mean that you shouldn't no but that's just saying what that's why i think that's what i think i know so when you guys talk at what ifs i just be like you keep away from everything really deep, though, even if it's not what ifs. It's not deep. What ifs is just like making up stories that you think are right, which aren't, because

you don't know. Well, when you talk about a human... No, man. Listen, he's not just what if-ing when he's talking about a human being being a representative of the universe, because it's part of the universe. That's true. It is true. How is that a what if?

It's a fascinating concept. No, no, no. I agree with that. Absolutely agree with that, but that doesn't mean that the universe has feelings. You don't know. The universe does have feelings because you're part of the universe. All right. If you say it like that, that means a sense.

But that's what if you're calling it a universe. That's what I was saying. You're saying what the universe is. Well, you're part of the universe. Well, it goes back to what I was saying about earlier. It's like a drum circle. Do you believe it's possible that we are all our own universe and that somehow or another this isn't something that you can bang on with a hammer.

It's not that the whole world isn't the material world of things being solid, but there is some sort of a fictional aspect to life and that it almost is like your imagination and your mind and your intent really does have some effect on physical reality, and that all of our physical realities, although they seem to be the exact same thing that we're all inserted into,

we all have our own unique oneness, and that our unique oneness interacts with everyone else's unique oneness, which is why it's very important to surround yourself with positive people. Then you surround yourself with a bunch of positive universes. You create more and more positive energy, more and more positive experiences. More and more good things are happening to all the people around you. More and more happiness is being interchanged between each other.

That's how you really make a real community, right? Right. Yeah, it's your association that's so important. You're making a community. You, making your own universe, man. Did you, have you... Practically and woo-woo-y, you know, because practically it's just a smart thing to surround yourself with good people. But the idea that you don't,

we're not exactly sure with this fuzzy line between consciousness and unconsciousness and sleeping and dreaming. It's all going on and on in one cycle but we're not exactly sure what what what part of it we're playing all the time we have to hit on things to be sure right you mean how many times have you had dreams where you oh it's a dream oh it's a dream oh it's a dream how do you not know that knocking on things isn't a fucking dream that the whole idea that you can dream the idea that you can imagine, the idea that there's some mystical part of your brain that sees things that aren't really there and puts them into position and moves them around and gives you a little fucking cartoon light bulb.

Bing! And then you write this down and you get together with a hammer and nail and some fucking wood and you create this thing that's never been created before. What the fuck is that? This is something that's manifesting itself in a solid form that it's come out of nowhere yeah i have a feeling that whole nowhere is a real realm the the realm of thinking the realm of consciousness and imagination just because you can't bang on it with a fucking hammer doesn't mean it's not a real realm a real huge part of the ingredients of life right and i think that we only measure the shit that we can bang on with a hammer and we look at the way that people influence their lives you know

she got a tit job and look what she did to her lips we look at all the different things you physically do to the stuff that you can hit that's what we measure and we decide that that's the entire ingredient list of life and i don't think it is man i think there's some there's some woo-woo shit going on man there's some woo-woo deepak chopra type shit going on that seems ridiculous you just can't measure it you know what they call you know of course the the uh name for the universe that is maya you've heard the term maya of course illusion so like and i think there's like exercises in some yogic systems where you begin to try to deconstruct exactly what you're saying.

You start trying to find what is real. What is real? For example, this table. Take the table, for example. The table is only real in this moment right now. If you were to look at the table through the course of thousands and thousands of years, you would see this table was trees. And before it was trees, it was seeds. it was seeds and before seeds there's this combination of

carbon molecules and you would see that this table is only existing in a very temporary transient moment in this one second it's almost liquid if you look at time it's just kind of wave this undulation that's happening so long that we mistake it as a solid right and so we, yes, this is permanent and this is real. It's like, no, no, no, no, no. This is completely impermanent. You just happen to see it as real in this one second. And so you begin to be like, okay, well, that's not real.

Then you begin to think, well, what about me? What am I? And then you realize, oh, you're part of that fucking paint swirl too. You're swirled in with the table right now. You're swirled in. And before you swirled into the human entity that you are you are a bunch of other shit you know you are you are ultimately like they talk about how like parts of what's inside of us is from supernovas and quasars and things exploding

that all got to make stardust yeah well you have to have a supernova to make the shit to make people right yes you need to have some sort of a fucking explosion of a star that's the recipe and so when you start instead of just theoretically talking about it like what you don't like if you start like really thinking okay well then what does that mean for my life how am i supposed to you know how am i supposed to start acting then if i realize that i'm just some infinite part of something else it's going to swirl back out into nothingness real quick what do you think the guy first felt when he realized that the sun has a lifespan? The guy who first realized that eventually this fucker's going to go out. When he calculated how many billion years we have left.

Then they figured out, you know, most suns only live to 500 million years. Did you know that? No, I didn't. Yeah, I didn't know that either. I thought they were all billions. Billions of years old. That's what I thought. No, no,'t. Yeah, I didn't know that either. I thought they were all billions. Billions of years old. That's what I thought. No, no, no. Most suns, 500 billion years or 500 million years. Really? Yeah.

So we got an older sun. Yeah, we got a crazy slow burning sun. Some of them just fucking blast off. Some of the really big giant ones, man, they're just fucking blah. They just rage for a few million years and then shut the fuck off. Yeah, but some of them, a lot of them die at 500 million. then shut the fuck off yeah but some of them uh a lot of them die out at 500 million so we're in a rare sort of a goldilocks situation where life can get this advanced and get this complex you know 4.6 billion years or something like that yeah this uh this planet has been around and the sun is even

older than that you know pretty fascinating stuff when you really stop and think about it you know well that's all got a lifespan yeah it's that fucking that level of thinking that you can begin to like really start experiencing like novelty again in your life because i think people get shut off to that way of thinking they don't want to think like that and things can get boring it's like when you sit when you go outside in a hot day and you just think i'm experiencing heat from a fucking thing in space like this heat is radiating out of this thing that's so fucking hot it's making its way through space and changing my skin color a little bit. It can burn my skin.

To me, if I allow myself to think that way, things become so much more fascinating and interesting. It's just weird the stuff you choose to not use specifically that people choose to block. Yeah, but that's not what you guys were talking about. You weren't talking about, hey, the sun makes you tan. That specifically that people choose to love. Yeah, but that's not what you guys were talking about. You weren't talking about, hey, the sun makes you tan. That's hot and that's nice. I mean, I think everyone thinks about that. What I'm thinking about

is the stuff that, you know, if you're trying to figure out what the universe is if it's alive, it's doing this or that, that's all great and stuff like that, but you don't really have a known answer. I don't like thinking about that kind of shit because we'll never probably know that answer. I'd rather figure out my fucking life going on with this person son you ain't never gonna figure out your life you're better off just distracting yourself with bullshit

well i mean listen let it go kid i i know i know what ifs can be fun here and there but i mean but getting obsessed with them is what if with dunk until i starve to death we can what ifs can be fun here and there, but getting obsessed with them is what I don't do. A what if with Duncan till I starve to death. We can what if till the cows come home. It's so fun to what if. It's fun. What about the fucking philosophers, Brian? What if, dude?

All robots. So much of McKenna's work was what if. So much of his possibilities of prognosticating the eventual technological singularity. He was a big proponent of time travel. He really felt like time travel was going to be the one thing that fucked everything up. Hey, can I do a what if real quick? Yeah.

What if Brian worked for the CIA? And he was like infiltrated the podcast to try to get us from doing what ifs. Because they know that if we keep what ifing, we're going to come up with something that isn't just bullshit. You're right, dude. You might be a fucking fed. Speaking of which, where are you at this weekend? Oh, I'm at Ann Arbor.

Comedy Showcase in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Comedy Showcase in Ann Arbor, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. By the way, if you've never been to the Comedy Showcase in Ann Arbor, Michigan, it is one of the most perfect comedy clubs in the country. It's one of those places that you get there and you go, oh, these still exist. These mom and pop owned, really well set up, well designed, small, intimate space, great sound system, cool as fuck staff.

The whole staff smoked me out. We went in the back room and passed it around. The place is the shit. The cops there were cool as fuck. Everybody's cool as fuck. Holy shit, I can't wait, man. Dude, that club is the shit. I did it with sagura i mean sagura did it it was uh we had a great great great fucking time there i can't wait there's a few of those clubs left you know in the country

that was uh heffron denver comedy works denver comedy yeah set up perfect what's that portland oregon's my new fave portland's helium is the shit. That's a new club, too. I love that club. But Portland has been dying for stand-up comedy forever. Portland's such a cool community. So many cool motherfuckers up there. Portland's amazing, man. That's a great city.

Yeah, I love Portland. I just don't know if I could deal with the wintertime. People say it just gets fucking crazy. I've talked to people that didn't say that. Years ago, I have friends that live in Seattle, and years ago i would ask them you know does it ever bother you the rain no you know no big deal so whatever man in the summertime summer times are amazing you just you know just kind of deal with it this is

what the way what it is and then you talk to them a couple years later man fuck this fucking weather fuck this it seems to me to be something you think you can deal with and you can deal with it yeah it might slowly fuck with you if you don't realize, as long as you don't realize there's an alternative. Like, if you ever lived in Southern California and then you moved up to Seattle, you might after a while be like, God damn, can I get some sun up in this bitch? Like, you fucking people are depressed for a reason, man. You're not getting any sun.

Vitamin D. Exactly. But to have a comedy club up there, there's so many cool fuckers up there, man. Seattle, Portland, that whole Northwest, it's great it's great, it's like always good times I've never had a bad show up there they've always been fun, Portland is

that helium comedy club one of the best places we ever worked it's amazing, best set up too I've heard it, it's great, great everything those helium guys are the guys from Philly, they just know exactly what they're doing. They're fucking masters at it. There's a few

of those clubs like Improvs. We did the Ontario Improv this weekend. Fuck, it was awesome. That Ontario Improv is one of the most underrated Improvs, man. Because the people out there are as cool as shit. It's always packed. Every show was sold out. It was fucking awesome yeah

there seems to be a real correlation to how cool comedy clubs are getting and how your podcast is becoming popular because there's a lot of fucking podcast fans that come out to these shows and they're fucking awesome somebody fucking palm banana bread and a bag into my hand in Atlanta that was one of the funniest cool coolest things look what the and it was just banana bread that's a brownie somebody gave me I'm scared of it's right there oh forget it you just don't know I'm scared it's terrible I'm gonna feed it to my keep it in the original form you can't like you just never know you never know what it could be man that could be some Jacob's

Ladder shit. So if they want to see you, how do they buy tickets for this comedy showcase? Go to my website, dunkantrussell.com. There's a link to the tickets on my website. Boom. That's Trussell with two S's and two L's. Dunkantrussell.com. Also, go to deathsquad.tv and sign up for the Death Squad podcast. There's a whole series of podcasts that Brian hosts outside of this

that has Sam Tripoli as a podcast under him and fucking Tom Segura as a podcast under him. There's a bunch of different really funny people that have podcasts over there. Freddie Lockhart, John Reap, John Heffron. Brody Stevens. Brody Stevens, Lester. A bunch of really good.

So if you're looking for interesting shit to keep you occupied at work, it's all free, of course. It's all on iTunes, of course. Also, Ari Shafir has his own now. It's called The Skeptic Tank. You can find it, Ari Shafir, Skeptic Tank. That's S-H-A-F-F-I-R. And Duncan has The Lavender Hour. And The Lavender Hour is also on iTunes.

And you guys have LavenderHour.com, right? That's it. LavenderHour.com. Of course, it's all free as well. And you also have a special episode every week that, right? That's it. LavenderHour.com. Of course, it's all free as well. And you also have a special episode every week that you can pay for, right? Bonus episode. We do it. Well, we haven't been doing it every week.

But every once in a while, we'll throw one up there. They're out there. But you've got a shitload to get through if you've never listened to it. There's like 48. And they're all online. They're online. Powerful. And thank you to The Flashlight for sponsoring us.

If you go to JoeRogan.net click on the link for the Flashlight enter in the code name Rogan you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men I gotta come up with

something cooler to say with that Brian is just a master he just has this down to a science CIA CIA I can't have him

that's why he interjects he tries to fuck with your thought waves I fucked up the show today what if he's like a time traveler And he knows They were trying to talk about time travel I told them they were faggots

Stop it Thank you to Onnit Labs Go to Onnit.com For the alpha brain Cognitive enhancer Substance And if you go to The link off the website, off JoeRogan.net, enter in the code name Rogan, you will get 15% off.

And then make yourself all smart and shit. Yes, they're great. Great dreams. Duncan Trussell, this weekend, Comedy Showcase, Ann Arbor, Michigan, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday Night Live. What? Go. See him.

See him this weekend. Go. Go there. I love you. Go. If you're in Michigan, you must go. Oh, this Friday, we're going to be at Ice House, the little tiny room. Yeah, Pasadena Ice House.

They're the death squad shows. Joe Rogan. Joey Diaz is probably going to do it. Two shows. Brendan Walsh is going to do it. Oh, it's a lineup of killers. And it's a small-ass room. It's only 85 seats.

It'll sell the fuck out. But we're doing this little thing on purpose because it's fun. It's a real intimate little environment. It's a real fun place to fuck around. Are you going to be around? No, you're not going to be around because you're going to be

at the comedy showcase in Ann Arbor. In Ann Arbor. And if you go to dunkintrussell.com you can get the tickets for that. And then just fucking, just folks,

we love you. Thanks for everything. Just keep being who you are because you're cool as shit. And all you people out there that are listening on your treadmills and on your elliptical machines and driving in your cars and sitting in the subway and on the train, we love you.

We love you. We're there. We are all connected. Yeah, you are having a conversation with us. We are moving forward. Occupy Wall Street. Viva la revolution. Hold it until I get there.

Get your machine shirts at BertBertBert.com. Thank you, everybody. We love you guys. Bye. We'll see you soon. Bye-bye. Love you. © transcript Emily Beynon