The Joe Rogan Experience - #1516 - Post Malone

Episode Date: July 29, 2020

Post Malone is a singer-songwriter, rapper and record producer.

I'll give you my dark surprise That's my everybody's too high song Right? When it's like, oh no This guy's fucking high Yeah, hang on And we're rolling What's up brother? How are you? What's going on? How are you?

Got you in here, man. I'm excited. Yeah, I'm finally here. I'm happy to be here. Bud Light, huh? This is your shit? Yeah, come on. Alright. Cheers, sir. Cheers, sir. Why not?

Pleasure. Also, precursor, I haven't slept. I know. We haven't slept, we're on mushrooms. And, uh, let's roll. Yeah, fuck it. We'll do it live. Yeah. Let's do it Yeah, fuck it. We'll do it live. Let's do it live. Fuck it.

Why Utah, man? Why you live in Utah? What's that about? I have no idea. Are you from there? No, sir. I was born in Syracuse, New York. It's beautiful there.

I love it. It is. It's absolutely something special. I really love it. It's got a good vibe, too, because it's almost like Utah is a secret because everybody's scared of the Mormons, so they don't go there. Right.

But then you get there, and you're like, Jesus Christ, it's beautiful, and these Mormons are so nice. Everybody's so nice. Everybody's so nice in Utah. And, you know, I did – so I don't remember what tour it was exactly, but there were supposed to be 5,000 people to show up. And then we end up getting to the show and there's 17,000 people. So we had to move it outside of the venue, right on the Salt Flats.

Oh, wow. And I was just like, if this isn't a sign from God or, you know, the aliens aliens then i don't know what is so i looked at houses on zillow and i found one and fix it all up and that's awesome now i've been there two years just about that's a good it's a good spot for a guy like you too because it's chill in comparison to the rest of your life which is so crazy yeah well that's the whole i couldn't do l.a i couldn't do l.a like i moved like i said from syracuse to dallas and then dallas to l.a when i was 18 and i it's it's a lot for me and i couldn't focus the way that i needed to right so on your music yeah i never like there's. Yeah. Like, there's always, you know, before COVID, there's always something going on. Right.

Like, 24-7. Like, it could be 8 in the morning. It could be, what time is it right now? 2 o'clock something? Yeah. And then you got to go do a podcast or you got to go to like a rooftop pool party or something. And, you know, being in Utah, it's so peaceful, like you said, and you get to focus on the music and wake up to the mountain. Yeah.

And the sun sets at 10 p.m., which is bizarre right around this time. It's just nuts, you know? It is bizarre, around this time yeah it's just nuts you know it is it is bizarre right like now it's especially bizarre Utah's always got a weird vibe man like Zion National Park you go out there to the rocks and skinwalker ranch I've been there have you yeah nothing happened though we went there for a tv show we're like like, come on, aliens. Where are you, you fucks? They weren't buying it. You don't know Tyler. Tyler. The alien. Oh, no. Yeah, that's my dog. You were telling me you have an alien friend

named Tyler. Yeah, his best friend's name is Ziggy. Do they visit you in the middle of the night? No, they don't. They just visit me during the day. We just play beer pong. Damn. If you do the right drugs, you can meet the aliens. We were talking about that in the green room. If you do the right amount of mushrooms can meet the aliens. We were talking about that in the green room. If you do the right amount of mushrooms in a tank, get in a flow tank,

you can meet aliens. Well, that's whenever you're most vulnerable. Like you said, most vulnerable, most susceptible to. That's why I like weed. We were talking about weed makes you vulnerable. And I think for someone like me, that's a good thing to think that way, to think sure think uh just just look at all the vulnerabilities and just the reality of life and the temporary nature of it which makes me more appreciative right like the fear actually

makes me more appreciate but mushrooms are a different animal man they just bring you to this weird place that's like right next door right now it's like it's like a hall pass to this other place like you get like a VIP bracelet you get to go into another room that's right there all the time but you can't go in until you get that bracelet yeah and that's the whole thing like I've been doing these micro doses for a while and you don't really catch it until you do like 10 like right off the rip but then i ate these chocolates the other day some shroomies chocolates and uh me and my my producer lou we made a uh a coachella set for about two hours based off of the robe do you know roblox yes i have girls young daughters so you know a 10 year oldlox. Do you know Roblox? Yes. I have girls, young daughters,

a 10-year-old and a 12-year-old obsessed with Roblox. Do you know the death sound of Roblox? No. What's the sound? Oof! Oof! Oof!

That's what happens when you die? Yeah, and then I sampled it, and we made a whole two-hour set off of the deal with just a fucking four-to-the-floor kick drum, and it was the time of my life. Wow. And I felt like I got that VIP wristband,

and I was backstage at Ziggy and Tyler's concert, The Aliens. Do you feel like that sometimes when ideas come to you when you fucked up? Like it's almost like it's a gift from somewhere? I have no idea i think all of my ideas are kind of like mistakes it's like because you never wake up and say today i'm gonna write the you know congratulations or any or any song and And you kind of just, it's, it's all about like right moment, right time. Like I had, oh, I had like eight Bud Lights.

Right. And then I took just a tiny bit of shrooms and then here it's like, and then it just happens. Yeah. There's, it's, it it's like it is an accident it is just like a spur of the moment type deal to where you're like let me sing this melody over this beat or let me make this beat even and it just kind of happens i don don't know. Well, that's the flow state, right? When you just, you can get out of your own way

and you can let ideas come to you. Like I was talking with this dude, his name's Joe DeSena. He runs a Spartan race. He's a really smart guy. Very interesting guy. He does a lot of stuff for kids. He's got all these kid programs.

These kids do like difficult tasks and they do it over a summer camp. It gets them better. But we were talking about it and we were talking about being healthy and all the benefits of being healthy sure and i was like this there's a lot to that but there's also a lot to like the person who binges and creates something incredible like we were talking about stephen king's books like some of the ones he doesn't even remember right are the best ones because he was on coke and drinking a fucking case

Of bud like you just blasted out of his head chain smoking cigarettes, and he doesn't even remember writing I think it's Cujo doesn't even remember writing it Like wrote Carrie half blacked out you read that book today, man That is one sure fucking hard my dad's the biggest Stephen King's fan Stephen King fan dude And then he's amazing, but I mean at Stephen King fan. Dude. He's amazing. But, I mean, at the end of the day, it's like to each his own. You know what I mean? I mean, whatever gets you through the night.

No, some people can definitely do it straight. And, you know, I've definitely had ideas without any influence of anything before. Right. But I feel like sometimes things come to you when you're like a little high at least. Right. A little drunk and you're like, I don't know if I would have ever thought about this without the weed. They just come out of nowhere. And that's the whole thing too.

Like drinking rosé or drinking, you know, Bud Light and then a little bit of just something else. Whether it be, you know, smoking a little bit of a J. Because I'm an anxious person. You told me before you're not an anxious person. Not really. But I used to smoke a lot. But now not so much. Maybe I'll smoke, watch a funny movie, and then shit.

But it's that stroke of genius. It's that stroke of genius, and you're like, if I was nothing in my blood right now but just blood, no booze, no anything, would I have thought of that? And that's the whole different deal. It's wild, really. I think of pot the way I think of wakeboarding. Sure. Because when you're wakeboarding and you're on that wave, I don't wakeboard, but when I watch people do it. I don't wakeboard either.

It looks awesome, right? When they're on that and they're catching those waves, but then when they wipe out, man, they go down hard. And that's like weed. So you're not going to stay on that board forever. If you get really fucked up, that board's going to flip over and you're gonna never you rip that big-ass trick you do the behind the back double spin that's the stroke of genius and that's that's what I think that there's a certain magic that goes into making a record or you know if you're a painter a painting or if you're a dancer a fucking cool dance move if you're a dancer, a fucking cool dance move. I think they're all related in some way.

Yeah, there's something there that just kicks off. And you can't control it and you can't say when it's going to happen, but it just happens. Whatever that is that makes humans so interested in creating things that other people are going to enjoy, but that's what it is. It's like there's a weird frequency. Humans creating things that they know other people are going to enjoy. But that's what it is. It's like there's a weird frequency. Humans creating things that they know other people are going to enjoy. And if you can just get lost in the beauty of just creating the thing

and get out of your own way, then these ideas will come to you. But if you get in your own way, you have less bandwidth for the ideas. And when they come to you, it feels like they aren't even yours. It's like you're interacting with something. If I have an idea for a new bit or something like that, sometimes they just come from nowhere. Where did that come from? What is this? Where are our premises from?

What's an idea from? Creativity comes from the weirdest part of your brain that no one knows how to, I mean, you, there's like, you can have breathing exercises. You could do all sorts of things to try to stimulate it. But the reality is you can't even measure it. No. You don't know when it's up, when it's down. You just know what you're doing.

If you're making some cool shit. Yeah. Well, and it's so, that's so bizarre. Like to think about, like you said, it's just really humans creating something that other humans fuck with. Yeah. That's exactly what it is. It makes you feel good. That's the most, there's something there.

Yeah. When you're in concert and you see 15,000 people rocking out to your song, that has got to be a crazy feeling. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Well, whenever you're on the podcast everybody's seeing you whenever you're kicking somebody in the face everybody watching there's a there's a feeling there and it's just like oh i realized finally i'm not actually just one person yeah i Yeah. I, as like, mithril as it sounds, I'm with everybody. You're with everybody.

In one moment in time, everybody is there doing the same thing with the same energy, the same good intention. Yes. It's fucking magical. You know, it's weird. Yeah, that's what you're doing, right? You're tapping into some magic. I'm trying. But that's what it is.

If you think about what kind of alchemy is involved in making the right sounds to make people feel different. Because with a great song, man, you're giving a person a drug. You know, there's a dopamine rush. You get goosebumps. A great song will hit you. You know, there's a dopamine rush. You get goosebumps. A great song will hit you.

Like, when you're doing that, man, you're hitting that audience. 15,000 people, and they're all vibing on this thing that you've created. Like, that's kind of magic. It's fucking magic, and that's the coolest thing. Because if you didn't know it existed, you would never believe someone could do it. You're like, what are you talking about? If there was no music at all, imagine a world with no music, just animals. They never figured out how to make melodies and bars and songs that you write down. We were just animals.

If someone told you, hey man, I'm going to make some sounds, and people are going to lose their shit. 15,000 people are going to get it. Screaming, dancing. I always think about this too, and this is a weird thought. You know how, like, there's famous people throughout history. Yeah. How the fuck do they know what they look like?

Like, think about, like, in, like, Wild West times when they see a dude in a bar and he's like, oh, you're Crazy Bill. I've seen you. How does that work? How did they even know it was that guy how did they even know and then and then even somebody could say oh i'm crazy bill oh yeah but then how do you even believe them well there's imposter there was imposter people all up until the internet you know there's like you you can't be a fake post malone today, but you could, in 1970, you could play it off. Like no one can get information to the real one.

But then you have to think about these stories that people tell and think if it's the imposter, if it's a real dude. Right. There's probably a lot of fuckery when it comes to like wild west stories. Or think about even 1600s. Like, Oh, this dude,

it was crazy with a battle ax or something. I saw him cut like nine dudes in half with one swing. Right. But it's the wrong dude. Right. It's not even fucking William the... Whatever he is. Braveheart.

That one? No, just a cool... What's a cool word? Mel Gibson one? What's a cool name for a dude who swings battle axes? The behemoth the slicer is it was charlie the slicer oh it's hilarious you gotta think there's no way to tell but just imagine history before pictures what are you talking about draw me a picture this is what

the boats would look like when they would pull how How the fuck do you know? Like it was an abstract idea. The only way you could see something was someone had to draw it for you. Right. Well, that's what I love to think. Like it used to be like Instagram filters, essentially. Like, oh, I'm a rich dude. I want this artist to paint me. Right.

But make me skinny. Yeah. Like make me ripped. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah make me a little more handsome give me a bigger dick in my statue you know what I mean big old dick

that was Instagram filters you're a rich person you're so right we have no idea what anybody really looked like I mean imagine if there was like this one guy you would go to in the neighborhood, and all the ladies were like, you gotta go to him. He makes your ass look so perfect. And, like, that's how they would get their picture done.

This dude would paint some nonsense version of them. Yeah. No one knows. How do you know? I wasn't there. Fucking mirrors barely worked back then. I wasn't there. Mirrors were probably terrible back then.

When were mirrors invented? They're looking at shit through fire, right? That's the only way they light any room up. It's fire. They have little lamps everywhere. It's preposterous. They have no idea what they look like. It doesn't work. No. It doesn't work. So imagine this is how ballsy people were in like the 1400s.

There were people that would get in a boat and travel across a fucking ocean it would take weeks and weeks and weeks based on a drawing and some shit someone wrote down yeah it's fucking insane insane you don't even know where the fuck you are insane also there's some salty dogs and some rapscallions what's what's another pirate term dude I was reading about pirates off the coast of South Carolina. Was it Blackbeard? Is he the big one?

It just makes you think, like, Jesus Christ. These are real people that would get, like, real famous dudes who would get in boats and show up and just fuck people up and steal all their shit. And they were famous for doing that. So crazy. And it's so funny you bring up Blackbeard. shit they were famous for doing that so crazy and it's so funny you bring up blackbeard because i saw somebody had like some kind of sash or like uh like like a miss america like a bandolier oh yeah yeah exactly and it was looked like you had a bunch of like black powder pistols like you got one shot and then you're out like yeah-hmm. Like, it's so funny.

That wasn't that long ago, man. That was the early 1800s is when they came up with a revolver. The Colt came up with a revolver, and they didn't even really put it to use until the Texas Rangers. The Texas Rangers figured out how to, there's a guy named, I think it was Jack Hayes. I think he's the original Texas Ranger. And basically, he was this badass dude who figured out how to fight the Indians on their turf.

They were basically like the Navy SEALs of the Texas Frontier guys who fought against the Comanches. This guy figured out how to use a revolver. That wasn't that long ago, man. That's like 1840. It's moving so fast. You know what they say? They say god made man samuel colt made him equal yeah that's a fucking great statement that's what colt invented the

revolver they're the ones who invented the i think it was a five shot revolver that was the first time they figured out how to fight the comanches they would they would ride on a horse they'd stay on the horse they didn't get off to shoot and they could shoot five times in a row and they had a bunch of those cartridges. So the cartridges are already loaded, so they'd take it off, put a new cartridge in, fully loaded,

and lock it in place. Sure. It was the whole wheel. Yeah, the whole wheel. So you can only carry a few of those with you. Crazy shit, man. It's so bizarre how much shit has evolved to kill each other.

Since 1840. It's fucking insane. And even you think about even before whenever you had musketeers and shit. Yeah. And you would just stand in a line and you would shoot and then a dude behind you would shoot and everybody's just shooting looking right at each other. Ridiculous. It's it's it It's the craziest fucking shit They fought like that for a long time man

They fought with honor and dignity like they would show up a little blow trumpets when it was time to fight And then they go fight each other they'd all stand in a line Yeah, two guys talk you had two guys walk up and talk, go back, and then everybody else would just shoot each other point blank. It blows my mind. You know what's crazy, too? There was a lot of them would give up, and they would surrender, and they would hand the man their sword, and they would accept it and shake their hand. They had weird rules of combat that everybody sort of adhered to back then. It's very strange to read about. It's different.

It's different as fuck. And it's not that long ago. That's what's crazy. It's like the best you could do is shoot someone with a musket or a cannon just a couple hundred years ago. Right. That's, I mean, that's manageable. It's, it's,'s it's nuclear weapons aren't

yeah now now it's like one nuclear bomb ruined your whole day yeah that's not manageable at all it's it's awful tyler tyler and ziggy are looking down at us right now my aunt those are my that's why they're here i agree i agree wholeheartedly think they're like, these dummies are going to do something stupid. If aliens are real, I'm not 100% convinced, but I'm probably like 90% convinced. But if they are real, I leave in the room for bullshit. It's like,

Jamie, get a picture of your shirt. Show everybody the shirt you're wearing while we're talking about that. It's a UFO. It says, can they see it? Believe dat. That's a dope shirt. That's a ufo it says can they see it believe that that's a dope shirt that's a saucer if i've ever seen one i think if they're if they're here they're not gonna let us that's what i think well that's what i think they're gonna swoop in and go hey hey hey well that's fuck i'm 25 right i can't speak on anything but just looking from past experience, and there's drawings.

Even in the Mona Lisa, there's a weird thing or whatever in the background and shit. But there's a spike. It's a spike because it's getting pretty weird here. The spike, they think, it's hard to tell because sometimes when people talk about ufos a bunch of other people hallucinate or lie like there's a lot of that right so every time there's a real legit ufo you get a bunch of nut just nut cases who just want to tell crazy shit about being taken and i've seen one ships i mean, I never. You've seen UFO? Yeah. What'd you see? What'd it look like? I was in, I was probably 16. I was at, in upstate New York.

And it would just stay there. So I, whoa, let me precursor this. My aunt and uncle were very strict. And we had to go to bed at a very strict deadline, probably 10 p.m. And I was looking out the window with my cousin, and it's just a light that just stays there and then just fucking goes off. I mean, it just, whew. You can't explain it.

Well, if you're 17 at the time? 16. 16? Probably. how strong is this memory when you're like looking at it when you're trying to remember medium medium yeah yeah but i mean there's something there for sure something took off and did something that didn't make sense to you for sure and then in utah i mean their shit happens all the time I mean even here in LA I can't tell you how many times because I used to live in Tarzana so there was like a balcony here and it looked kind of like it sounds corny but like a classic like force field whenever you think of a force field, and it just kind of goes like this,

and it's kind of like a dome in a circular shape, and it just goes like this and goes back in. Whoa. In Tarzana, looking down at the fucking city. And I'm like, how did no one else see this? They might have. But I was there with like fucking four other people and they saw it too the thing about unique events is if a unique event happens and it never happens again it's hard to remember it's hard to be sure what you saw

it's hard but if aliens are visiting us like how often are they doing it like unique events would probably be what it would be right be like occasionally Once every six months someone sees one somewhere, but they're here all the time. They probably just know how to evade detection I Mean it just if something can travel here from another planet It's gonna be able to know yeah when they're being watched and when they're not being watched. That's not gonna be hard That's why you got a wonder if it's like Intentional I think there's enough Talk about it now that we're probably gonna find out and when they're not being watched. That's not going to be hard. That's why you've got to wonder if it's intentional.

I think there's enough talk about it now that we're probably going to find out what it is in our lifetime. I never would think that before. I think the government withheld information for whatever reason. Maybe they think people are scared. Maybe they think it's a threat to national security to have a bunch of people worried that aliens are flying around us all the time. There's nothing we can do about it. Maybe they had a conversation and they thought maybe it would be better to keep people in the quiet or keep them in the dark so that they don't freak out.

Because there's nothing we can do about it anyway. If we just tell them that there's aliens that are visiting us all the time, that's not going to be good. They're not going to pay attention to taxes and mortgage rates and the stock market they care about uranium and shit like that they're around us all the time they're going to be people are going to freak out so i think like little drops of like this the recent one they said were they yeah what did the pentagon just say yeah literally like two fucking days ago they've recovered crafts that are not from this world, not made on earth. Not made on earth. Yeah, not made on earth.

They're basically saying we don't know what the fuck it is, but we didn't make it. That's bananas. And I think that's going to lead to more and more information coming out about it where we're going to try to get a sense of understanding like how long have they known this you know how much of like all that roswell new mexico shit was true like tell us what was going on and it backtracking you gotta wonder if like oh we've been hiding this the whole time or this is the first time for real that we don't know this is what i like to think i like to think that the people that are in charge at the pentagon are patriots and they realize it's

probably better especially when you're dealing with the united states it's in this kind of turmoil that they're in right now it's crazy between racial turmoil and turmoil with the police and turmoil with uh people uh protesting in cities and blocking traffic. There's so much crazy turmoil. They'd be like, no one's even going to notice now. Just say it now. Just say, yeah, we got UFOs. Everything is so crazy.

The news cycle of any crazy story like this is only a few days, and then people forget. Or it's just people already know, and it's just normalization. And you think about movies as just normalizing you to the idea that I can't even, like the Canadian, don't quote me on this, but a Canadian someone in office was like, there's like seven species of aliens in the u.s government it would be crazy if it was true that's you know tommy lee jones and will do y'all remember that all along yeah check that out please fact check that is he a loony person though i have no idea see people can get elected and still be crazy that's a problem for certain that's a problem you know just because like when you hear about someone having like a really high profile job

and they say something crazy it doesn't mean they're not crazy just because they're the prime minister of some fucking country they could be out of their mind what do we got something close to that. How close? Canada's former defense minister claims that aliens are real. Apparently, there is a humanoid-esque race of aliens called the Tall Whites living among us. Huh. It's Adam Curry. What publication is this? It's Adam Curry.

Is this Vice? Yeah, it's on Vice. It's on Vice. There's a few other places. There's a few. So it's like a real deal. He definitely said it, it's on Vice. It's on Vice and there's a few other places. There's a few. So it's like a real deal. He definitely said it, it seems like. Come on.

That's crazy shit. Yeah, that is crazy shit. The thing is, is that guy nuts? Like, what else does he believe in? You know, how does he feel about ghosts? Right? Do you believe in ghosts? How often do you?

I don't not believe. I don't not believe in ghosts. I've never experienced a ghost. Ghosts are real. But I can't explain it. They might be. They might be real. But I don't know if it's a ghost.

Here's the thing about ghosts. There's so many stories of them. Right. There's so many. Right. Now, is it because people are just scared and their fucking senses are on heightened alert and they see things that aren't really there that could be it because when it's dark out and you're tired and you're moving through the hallway first of all

you you might be half asleep anyway but you hear things you get scared your senses get really heightened and maybe you might see something that's not even really there right it's just your your own brain and your paranoia fucking with you because it's always happening at night under low light conditions it's always weird things that are fleeting and then they're gone but it's not always in yourself it's not always in the night it's always in the dark though right you're never like at the beach there's a ghost at the beach there might be ghosts at the beach there's no ghost at the beach but no but your house think they're bullshit. There's no ghosts at the beach. No, but your house is just as haunted in the day as it is at night. But why not the beach?

Listen, the beach at night is scary. The beach during the day is not scary at all. If you're a girl and you're walking on the beach at night, that's a fucking dangerous place to be, right? There's a lot of psychos out there and serial killers and creeps and rapists you're

just walking on that beach by yourself that's scary at night right but in the day it's awesome the day you're just walking on the beach i'm not a beach guy anyways i'm a mountain guy there might be some more creepy guys in the mountain that's another one but they're they're more sparse everything's scary in the woods but i'm saying your house is just as this place this building is just as haunted in the daytime as it is at nighttime i don't think this one's haunted i've been here at night here's an argument for something being haunted the comedy the comedy store in hollywood because it used to be c-rose nightclub it used to be C-R-O's nightclub. It used to be owned by Bugsy Siegel.

And apparently, the word is, they killed a bunch of fucking people there. Right. And almost everyone that I know that works there, everyone who's managed, works there a long time, they have some weird shit happen to them. Weird shit. Like, they see someone in the kitchen,

and they go to say something to them, they turn around, and then they turn back again. The person's gone. Right. Weird shit. Right. Like old friends you haven't seen in forever wandering through the hallway and they go up the stairs and you can't find them.

There's like a bunch of stories like that. Now, granted, there's a lot of people who've done a lot of drugs at the comedy store. Right. That has to be factored in. Right. But there's so many stories worldwide of ghosts i don't think it's impossible to i think it's possible that things leave a memory right like maybe if you hate someone so much you you leave a memory on the space like that's a stone tape theory. Yeah. The what? Stone tape? Yeah. Stone tape?

Yeah. What is it? That the energy of a life is like left on material shit like the bricks on the wall. Yeah. Or the curtain here. Right. You know. And that's like, I don't know if that's a stone tape theory.

Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on that. can you look up the stone tape theory for me? Stone tape but it's well cause I'm friends with Zach Bagans from Ghost Adventures right? Did he ever take you to a haunted house?

We did a whole episode you should check it out. Did you get scared? It's terrifying. It's terrifying, man. And in his museum, so apparently there's a thing called the Dybbuk box, which is one of the most haunted items in the world, apparently. in the world, apparently. And he wanted to, so we took the glass case off of the Dybbuk box,

which is in his museum in Vegas. And he thought it was a sick-ass idea to put the ashes of a lady who died while she was possessed on top. Whoa. And then I was, my plane almost crashed. I was in a car accident. My house got robbed and I had bite marks on my arm. And he hit the wall like, like I've never seen someone in fear so hard as whenever he touched it and it's it's i don't know if it's someone who's dead or if it's a demon or if it's

fucking something dimensional but it's something there that goes bump in the night i suppose stone tape theory what is that here it is haunted suppose. Stone tape theory, what is that? Here it is. Haunted rocks, the stone tape theory. The stone tape theory is frequently used as a science-y sounding quasi-explanation to explain amateur, to explain hauntings. Okay, okay, well that's fine.

Amateur paranormal investigators use the idea Am I two for two? Am I two for two? to account for the appearances of images, sound, and apparitions that do not interact directly with people. Instead, they play out like a movie or recording. Right.

This is the most commonly termed residual haunting. See, this is what I was saying. Two for two, by the way, ladies and gentlemen. Congratulations. Nailed it. When you think about an alien sighting, if you saw an alien and you never saw one again for the rest of your life, it would fuck with your memory, even if the alien was real. If a saucer emerged in front of you and then took off that's the same

thing with a ghost like if you saw a fucking ghost if you walked into your basement to go get a screw for something and you turn and you saw an apparition of a woman right who's like staring you did you ever see that guermo del toro movie about the lady who's a ghost who adopts kids no dude it's a dark movie what is it called mother what is it called it's fucking creepy it's like horror movies me too I love I'm Mama. Mama. Yes, that's it. Oh, is that? Bro, it's so creepy. That's not with two Swedish kids, right? I don't remember. Does she have two sons?

Did you see this? No. She has two kids. No, I haven't seen that. She's, well, I don't want to give it away. I don't want to give the story away. But it's crazy. She finds these kids in the woods and raises them.

She's a ghost. And it's a fucking terrifying movie. She's a ghost. And it's a fucking terrifying movie. She's a ghost. Wait. Is that a spoiler? And so people adopt the kids. They find the kids. I can't tell you anymore.

Spoiler alert. I can't tell you anymore. No, you know she's a ghost from the very beginning of the movie. Okay, okay, good. Yeah, this is terrifying. Dude, it's fucking horrifying. It's a terrifying movie. Well, you get the best of both worlds, right?

You get a creepy mom style. Yes. And get creepy kids, which are the double terrifying. What's the movie I'm thinking of? I can't say anymore without spoiler alert. I think it might be called, so it's two kids. It might be Swedish or Norwegian or something. Is it the vampire movie? No. There's a vampire movie, a foreign vampire movie.

Is it Let the Right One In, I think it is? Or is that the American version of it? Let the Right One In is a scary movie. That's a scary movie, right? That's a vampire movie about vampire kids, right? Yeah. See, the thing about a ghost is if you saw one and it was, if they're just real every now and then, you saw one and it was right in front of you, you're in the woods, you're

going to walk your dog and you see some old man with no legs floating in front of you. That's the one. Good Night Mommy. Yeah. Oh, Good Night Mommy. What's this one about? I don't know. Same kind of deal? Oh, Jesus Christ. Spoiler alert. Oh, Goodnight Mommy. What's this one about? I don't know. Same kind of deal?

Oh, Jesus Christ. Spoiler alert. Oh, Jesus Christ. Save that for later. Did you see something good? Yeah. I missed it. Some scary lady in the corner.

Check that motherfucker out. That's a good one. I'm scared. But you see him in the woods. Yeah. Please. Oh, yeah. If you saw some apparition in the woods and then you never saw it again for the rest of your life, it doesn't mean it wasn't real.

Right. It just means it's really rare that that happens. That's the thing about a unique event. Imagine if you're an ant your whole fucking life. All you've ever known is this anthill. Everybody's chilling, working every day, chopping up leaves, going out and getting popcorn or whatever shit it finds. And then one day some person comes along like Post Malone just stomps the fuck out of that anthill. Sure. Till that moment, all that thing is ever known was that that anthill never even knew that it was possible for something.

Because it's been alive for a couple of weeks. During that couple of weeks, no one's ever stomped on the anthill. But then it happens. And then you realize that there's no pattern to these things anything can happen like if you're if you're a person aliens can land yeah land on the white house lawn tomorrow and take over the world and there's nothing we can do about it like that could be our new normal okay fuck masks the new normal is there's alien spaceships that hover over every city and they tell you what to do.

And you have to work for them now. Forever. To the ant argument, we're smarter than ants. Yes, we are. But we're, in comparison, probably dumber than aliens are. We're dumber in comparison to aliens than ants are to people. Well, that's right. Like all these celestial sightings. Yeah, I mean, this is all spitballing here.

But it could be possible, right? Celestial sightings documented throughout history. Throughout history. You, hey, I just made a fire. This is dope, right? Fire's cool. But what the fuck is that? That has to be God.

Like, man has always looked up for answers. It's true. And so that's why it's a scary thing. Because do they want to hurt us or do they, are they, did we come from them? I don't think it's impossible? I don't think it's impossible I don't think it's impossible that we're a product of Genetic manipulation I don't know if we are

I know we're definitely primates We're just playthings maybe We just look so different than every other monkey All the other monkeys are covered in hair This is this weird semi-hairless monkey You know who knows how to use electronics Who knows how to send video through the sky you know the anunnaki yes yes yes my my yeah if lou was here i got a great friend lou

shout out to lou he would talk your ear off about this whole deal about this to an actual archaeologist yesterday or the nephilim garrett yeah the nephilim or the anunnaki from planet nibiru all that zacharias hitchin stuff you ever read those books no sir the books are weird man you know it's weird like there's stuff that he was saying in like i believe it was like the 1970s where he was deciphering these uh texts and one of the things that he said is this is the craziest one of all humans were genetically engineered from lower primates and they were used to harm to harvest gold and that the anunnaki needed gold because gold is very plentiful here right and very hard to find very rare on their planet right and they engineered humans to mine that's why people

love gold so much right if you think about like the usefulness of gold right gold isn't even remotely it's unless you're making electronics like gold's not the best metal like why is it so valuable because it's pretty well it's not even the prettiest shit like rubies are prettier than gold emeralds are prettier than gold why isalds are prettier than gold. Why is gold so goddamn expensive? But where does diamonds fit in? That's a good question. Probably just someone tricked a chick thinking it was a good move. I was reading about like, yeah, there's like one movie she had a diamond and then it popped off. Let me finish what I'm saying because this is where it gets weird.

They said that they needed it to hang in their atmosphere to protect them from the sun because they were losing their atmosphere well we're losing our atmosphere and one of the things that scientists have uh suggested is hanging reflective particles above above the earth like putting them in orbit all like a reflective dust in orbit so that it would mute out some of the effects of the sun. So what they suggested, what he was saying in 1978 is what they suggested in like 2018. Right. So when they're talking about how to fix some of the global warming issues, they were literally

saying some of the stuff that was in this book that he was reading, you know, he's deciphering these ancient Sumerian texts from 6,000 years ago. No shit. Yeah. I don't know if his interpretations are right, though. Where did he get it from? He is just a guy who's a linguist who studies these ancient languages and reinterprets them, but it's very highly in dispute.

That's the problem. You or I, we're not going to figure it out. We're not going to know who's right. It's too complicated. Right. But there's a website called sitchiniswrong.com, and if you go there, it refutes all of this. I don't know who's right or who's wrong,

but it's interesting to see the argument. But again, whatever the fuck was going on back then, 6,000 years ago, whatever was going on, they were writing about some wacky shit right right right you know they were and is that the shrooms or is that is it contact yeah you know is that's it's not impossible they we could have easily been contacted by some other life form that's similar to us but that's a million years advanced. Right. You could have been contacted all throughout history. Right.

Yeah. Up until 1860, whatever the fuck it was, all you would have is a drawing and a story. Imagine that. Famous people. Who the fuck knows? But now, if you look at the last 200 years, it has accelerated like a motherfucker. And there's so much, like, 200 years ago, people would look at the Bronco or anything like that and be like, what the fuck? Yeah, what is that?

It happened so quick. It's happening so quick right now. It happened so quick. It's happening so quick right now. I mean, that SpaceX thing, they've already figured out how to get something to fly into the sky and then bring it back and land it. It's insane. Yeah. We are in a weird fucking time.

And if the aliens come right now, it's probably the best time to come. We're going to be the most relaxed about it. No one's been able to work for six months. Yeah, I feel like everybody's, oh, what's... People are scared to shake hands. What are you going to do? Everyone's terrified. Are you going to say hi? To the aliens?

Are you going to grab your bow? Oh, I'm going to say hi for sure. I'm not stupid. They could come here if I'm not kicking anybody's ass. Instant disintegration. Yeah, I'm not even interested in kicking someone's ass from another dimension. I just want to say hi. Tell me what's up. Tellant disintegration. Yeah, I'm not even interested in kicking someone's ass from another dimension. I just want to say hi. Tell me what's up.

Tell me what's actually good. I want to have an alien on the podcast. Can you imagine? I could call Tyler up. three foot tall, 40 pound dude with a giant bulbous head

and like antenna-like fingers and he's explaining how they traverse space and time instantaneously. Can you imagine? They're making sounds and you interpret those sounds no matter what language you're in all over the world. You instantaneously interpret what they're saying.

Well, it would be through your brain. You wouldn't be able to hear them. Yeah, they would do it through a podcast. They'd be able to engineer the sounds they make. They would do it through SM78. What is this sound They would hit you with some sound that's so complex you would understand exactly what they're saying You know you don't know the language and everybody would be like what in the fuck is going on Oh my god. There's an alien on the JRE. That's what it be me talking to some alien

They better give you some more goddamn money alien. They better give you some more goddamn money. Mm-mm. I think that's the least of our problems when the aliens come. That shit is gonna be wiped out. Well, that's when we need gold. Yeah, we're gonna be gold miners again, folks. We're gonna look for some sturdy person with a wide back.

That's what's gonna be valuable. But I mean, good enough to mine gold? I don't know. Imagine if that's life in the future. They down they go you got two choices oh eat one we eat you two you mine gold for us are they eating humans why not why wouldn't they eat us they'll be like listen you guys are just protein you're assholes they probably eat clouds yeah or like energy they probably just eat energy yeah they maybe they just exist in some

sort of like a dude they're probably not even fucking material probably they're probably just fucking ethereal well maybe they figured out a way to make life so maybe they figured out a way how to make life where you can transfer your consciousness in some eternal mechanical thing this is what um there's this, uh, my God, I can't remember his name. Uh, Ray Kurzweil, sorry. Uh, he's a guy that's upset. He's a scientist. He's an inventor. He's got like a hundred patents, genius guy. Um, maybe not a hundred, but a lot. Um, and he is obsessed with downloading his consciousness into a computer. He's obsessed with the idea of technology reaching a point where you could replicate a human being in a way where you will never die. Your consciousness will actually transmit to some sort of a computer or an artificial

body or another body that they've genetically engineered. And he believes this is, like he's saying, you have to look at the exponential rate of technology. Right now that doesn't make any sense. Right. But if you go 10 years from now, the 10 years time is going to be like 100 years of progress. Well, he said exponential. It's snowballing. 10 years after that, 1,000 years of progress.

Like 20 years from now, I don't know if those are the right numbers, but 20 years from now or somewhere in that range, we could be looking at artificial life. 30 years from now, we could be looking at fake people. They're already cloning goats. Yeah, they've done sheep. Yeah, Dolly the sheep. Yeah. I bet they're cloning people. 100%.

100%. You don't think Russia is cloning people right now? You don't think China's cloning people right now? Why wouldn't they? I think we're cloning people. Well, if you think of the people that do, that treat human beings with the least amount of respect, if those, like, if you think of the way they treat their citizens, those people are likely to clone people.

They're not going to give a fuck. They're going to want to be able to give them a quick to the jump. Yeah. We don't give a fuck. I don't think anybody, it's a matter of, it does honestly feel like, oh, everybody's just a gold miner. In a way, because we're mining technology. Everybody, I mean, even you sitting on your phone, you're contributing. 100%.

Yeah. And then they're learning. And you want a new phone. You want a new phone next year. So you work hard so you can buy that new phone. Right. And you want a Tesla because it's got that big old electronic screen. It's a cog in the whole machine.

Can I have one of your beard hairs? I'm working on something at home. I could you some i'll tweeze them later i can't pluck them they're not big enough to pluck i'm working on my cloning device it doesn't work necessarily it might work dude if it works let me know if there's a little me running around i tell them a lot of shit i got wrong kicking everybody i'd be like dude you gotta calm down calm down son but like i think genetic engineering they've already definitely done that they've figured out how to um i think it was china that did some sort of crisper experiment on people's dna that figured out how to make them immune from aids but also simultaneously made them smarter so made them immune to h HIV I'm pretty

sure that's what it was what's a CRISPR CRISPR some gene editing tool I don't know what the it's an acronym right I don't know what it stands for but it's um it's a new gene editing tool that they've discovered over the last few years they understand genes better because I believe because of bacteria I'm sure I'm fucking this up but they figured out how to make a tool that allows you to edit genes here it is clustered regular regularly interspaced short palindromic repeats that's crisper that's what it stands for it's a family of dna sequences found in the genomes of uhkaryote organisms such as bacteria and archaea. These sequences are derived from DNA fragments of bacteriophages. This is a terrible paragraph.

It's great. How do you say that? Bacteriophages? Bacteria figs? Bacterial phages? Phages. That had previously infected the prokaryote. Oh, boy. So I know exactly what you're talking about.

Let me try. So this gene editing tool, whatever the fuck that means. What the fuck? What is this tool? They can edit genes, and they're in the process. With a computer? It'll show you right now how they do it there. It's like, I don't understand the process, but I know that they have a process.

I don't know what it's saying. Is this in a computer? Like, read that. What is that saying? The Cas9 protein forms a complex with the guide RNA in a cell. The complex attaches to a matching genomic DNA sequence adjacent to a spacer yellow segment. What am I saying? No, that's the yellow segment. You see it.

You know what I'm saying? I do. But you know what I'm saying? I'm reading this and I don't know what the fuck I'm saying while I'm saying it. It's too complicated for a moron like me. It's too complicated. I want to know what the tool is. Is it like a wrench, or is it like a fucking computer?

I don't know what the fuck it is. It's probably a computer. Oh, it's a fork. Yeah, dude, that's the dude right there. It's just a guy. It's just a the dude right there. That's just the guy. It's just a robot hand that comes in and fucks it. It's a dude with tweezers and a fucking hot dog. It leaves a lot of room for error.

I wonder what other countries are doing, what kind of crazy shit they're trying. If they're trying to create new humans, superhumans. They're going to do it. Someone's going to do it. It's going to be us or it's going to be them. Someone is going to create superhumans. I'm not saying it's a good idea I'm just looking at the the laws of improvement I don't think that's a real thing but if it was the law of improvement would state that if something's possible something's possible someone's gonna make it happen

when we we detonated two nuclear bombs we could have just one was we everybody got the point, right? Yeah. Why'd they do it twice? It's a display, I suppose. Right. Well, someone could do that with super people. Yeah.

Like, that could happen, and it could happen quick. He should be a UFC fighter. Well, they might be the new aliens. When you get to- UFC fighters or super humans? Super people. Okay. Super people might be a new species.

sea fighters or super humans? Super people might be a new species. If someone could really get a hold of a crisper and create like a Thor, create like a legitimate super human person, and you could just develop a whole race of those, it would just be like instant game over. People aren't people anymore. How long

does that take? I don't know how long it would take. Do they have to grow from baby to human? I'm high, man. These are freaking... I don't think so. That's the thing. Or they just come out like orcs in Lord of the Rings. What if they fuck up? They come out like orcs in Lord of the Rings where they just cut the pus and then the fucking.

They come piling out of them. And he's just like, I'm going to kill fucking. Is that how the orcs were born? Yeah, you never seen Saruman in the pit of Helm's Deep? Those are great fucking movies, man. Incredible. Those orcs were the scariest shit ever. Also, if you watch three, it's 12 hours.

You could take a half a day watching Lord of the Rings. It's the best. Yeah, those Lord of the Rings movies, man. Come on. Those orcs and those goblins, they were the scariest fucking thing ever. The goblins were scary. You ever heard of Necro Goblicon? No. It's like a metal band, but the lead singer is a goblin.

It's incredible. Can you pull up a picture of the lead singer of necro goblin con dude this is that's them dude it's fucking incredible that's amazing he reminds me of he reminds me of the goblin that tortures Frodo. Look at his face. Holy shit. Oh my God, that's amazing. Hang on a second. Imagine. I like his friends.

Hold on a second. Back up a little bit. Imagine if that's really a goblin. You imagine if a goblin became a rock star and everybody thought it was cute, but it really was a fucking goblin. You need to watch the video. Bro, the makeup's amazing. He never takes it off. It really was I fucking goblin you need to watch the video bro the makeup's amazing He never takes it off, and it's a real fucking guy real

Goblin that's the whole deal like the his biggest song is like he has a normal job And he has a crush on this girl. Oh my god, but she's in love with this like douchebag From the office. Oh my god. He's blowing powder on people. What is happening here? I've never seen this video. Dude, just imagine if that was real. Imagine if an alien comes down.

Like with CGI. Are aliens goblins? They could be. Why do we think they're going to look cute? Why couldn't they be ugly looking aliens? Octopus looking monsters. They could be anything. Right? Yeah. That could be anything. Right?

Yeah, that's what Halo. You ever play Halo? I have. You think about, you know Arbiter? What is Arbiter? He's... One of the characters? Nah, he's like the alien guys.

So they have fingers like this, and that's why all their guns are like this, right? Okay. But who's to say that aliens don't control their guns with, like, their booty hole or something weird? Why does it have to be with their hands? Aliens can control their guns with whatever appendage they have. Good point. Aliens are weird.

Well, I think the real thing would come from how are they manipulating matter to make things, right? Or do they even need to? Do they need to, right? Can they do things with their mind that we can't imagine, right? Yeah. Is it possible to – if it's possible to make noise and you can hear noise, what is that? It's just some invisible shit flying through the air. I'm saying it to you.

You understand what I'm saying? Just flies through the air and hits you. Why do we think that that's the only thing that's possible? There could be some really weird abilities that things have to manipulate matter that maybe evolve over hundreds of thousands of years. A booty hole gun. A booty hole gun. Yeah.

Yeah. Who knows? Who knows? I'm going to hit you with my fucking booty hole gun and destroy a fucking block. Maybe it's like super normal for aliens to like pee on each other the way dogs do. You know, maybe aliens just walk up and just piss on each other all the time. Who knows? Who fucking knows?

Who knows? But you know, all we can do is just sit and drink beer until until that's it i'm amazed that they if they really did have ufos this whole time that they kept it such a good secret pretty incredible like i don't want to encourage that kind of behavior but i gotta say i'm impressed right if the government really kept their fucking mouth shut for that long like no one government is not gonna do that these are like those old school vietnam vets with fucking craggy skin and tough guy voices right those are the ones that are still left millennials that

take those positions we're gonna have a real hard time keeping secrets right it's not gonna be the same it's not no i mean you they're not's not. No. I mean, you... They're not going to keep any secrets. How do you feel about the Battle of Los Angeles? The Battle of Los Angeles? What do you mean? Wherever... There was pictures in the paper and shit, and it's just spotlights. And we were shooting at this thing.

Oh, right. Was that like... Over L.A. What year was that? Old. Yeah, real old. Like the 50s or something yeah yeah who the fuck knows what that was man what the fuck is that and then we shot at it and it wouldn't go down and because they see that who knows you got it's either two things it's either they know

and they're hiding it or or it's something earthly, terrestrial. Yeah. And people just interpret it as... Yeah, look at that. There it is. Searchlights and anti-aircraft guns. They were shooting at this fucker. Yeah, Colm Sky during the war.

What year is that, Jamie? 1942. 1942. So what year did Oppenheimer first detonate the bomb? I know the Manhattan Project was already in operation by 1942, but had they detonated the first bomb yet? The actual first test. Let me check. I bet it was around that time, a couple years later maybe i bet in that in that time period when human beings

start in a race to try to split the atom that's what i bet the alien is like hey hey hey we got a live one we got a live one over here these motherfuckers figured it out yeah the 1940s they were all doing that shit right three years later three years later yeah so they were probably working on it back then and the aliens are probably well aware that there was a race going on. And they probably visited. That's what I would do. If I had like a planet, like imagine if you're a researcher and you have a whole planet. And on this planet, they've lived for millions and millions of years, but the most advanced thing is like a monkey person. Millions and millions of years, but the most advanced thing is like a monkey person. You know, like an Australopithecus or something. And they go, listen, we know where this is going. It's going to take a long time.

They might not even make it. They might get wiped out by a volcano. Let's just fucking sprinkle a little bit of us in them. Get that CRISPR working. Manipulate the DNA of these things. Yeah, with the wrench or the little tongs with the hot dog. Yeah, the hot dog tongs. Splice it in and make some new people. What happened to the dinosaurs, Joe?

Asteroid? Yeah, they hit the Yucatan. They know when. They know where. There's something called, I think it's called iridium. It's really rare on Earth and really common in space. And there's a thick layer of it around 65 million years ago. And it's just a giant crater in the Yucatan.

That's what killed all the dinosaurs. Most likely. There's some other theories about how long they lasted, which ones died off, which ones... What about alligators? Those motherfuckers are still here. Alligators are here right now, right?

Bro, one ate a kid at Disneyland a couple years back. It was the year before i was there eat him whole disney world not disneyland disney world's the florida one ate a kid yeah whole a two-year-old kid snatched him up jesus horrible horrible playing near the water and this fucking dinosaur and imagine you take your kid at disney world well it's gonna be safe for sure we're at disney world yeah they've done a great job making sure there's not monsters living in the pond. Yeah.

Nope. No, there's monsters in that pond. Fucking alligator came out and ate their kid. Look at this motherfucker. That's the motherfucker? That's the guy? No, this is a different one. This is a different one.

I was like, they have video of this? Bro, these people are standing just a few feet away from a goddamn dinosaur with a brain the size of a quarter. That thing doesn't give a fuck about you or your babies or your kids or you're just lucky you're lucky that dinosaur doesn't just the tail's the size of a human yeah it's so they're so big and that's not even a huge one there's there's a video one in florida walking across a golf court it's 15 feet long and you see it and these guys are in awe. They're like, what the fuck?

They're out there playing golf, and a legitimate dinosaur walks by. 15 foot long alligator. It's so big. It's so big, dude. Look at its leg. Look at that thing. Holy Christ. Holy Christ. Look how big that is.

On the golf course. Bro, look how big that is. Look at golf course. Bro, look how big that is. Look at the size of that thing. Holy shit, man. Your ball struck my foot. Holy fuck, that thing's so big. What do they do? I'll see you in the parking lot.

What's the Billy Madison quote? Or Happy Gilmore. That's what it is. Oh, the alligator ate his hand? Carl Weathers. That's fucking fucking crazy how crazy is that you're out there living in florida you live with monsters that's a dinosaur that's a real legit dinosaur you think about it too it's so interesting to think about like even in florida but in australia spiders, the house spiders, like I see a spider, he's like this big. I'm like, okay, fine. In Australia, the average spider is like this fucking big.

What are you going to do? Terrifying creatures over there. There's brown snakes and shit. My Australian friend, Adam Greentree, is always trying to get me to go out there, go camping him like get the fuck out of here no he goes hunting i'll start look at that thing look at that thing no what the fuck no no no so much protein if yeah you're hungry is that a huntsman yeah jesus christ look at that thing that's so big aust. Australia is just buck wild, man. It's so bizarre to think. And you've seen the – there's big-ass grasshoppers that are like this big.

Locusts, man. Terrifying. You know, I didn't find out until a few years ago. Yeah, look at that fucker. What is that? Dude, he's eating a full carrot like an infant, like a toddler. He's eating a carrot like a fucking toddler. That's insane. It's like he's screaming through a traffic cone.

Also, if I saw a centipede, I would die instantly. Oh my God, look at the size of that. Look at that butterfly thing. Moths? Moths are like the ugly butterflies. True. It's really the same thing. How come?

Why is that? One of them's pretty and one of them we fucking swat every chance we get. What? Because we value beauty. Look at that. Look at that creepy thing. If I saw that, I would run away. Bro, you ever seen a centipede eat a mouse?

No. Do you want to? Probably. See, find a centipede eats a mouse i didn't know they did this man i when you see that thing i i never would have thought that thing was a monster i thought it was just a bug probably eats little bugs uh-uh no eats a mouse you just saw a grasshopper eat a carrot like a fucking four-year-old it's crazy that's a four pound grasshopper look at this look at this centipede attacking this mouse no shit bro they're predatory like alien like a movie that's like the movie alien

holy shit it's biting into the back of the spine of the mouse and killing it dude it's more than sad that's an alien this is sad look at it It's burrowing itself Into the body Of the mouse Oh my god Take that off of the camera Bro Imagine Holy shit

That's why you need to learn jujitsu For a centipede Mice need to learn jujitsu You need to Figure out how to Well that's your next adventure Move that thing off you A mice jujitsu class

Don't let him get your back But that's not good My cat's killed two mice In my house Your cats are murderers Every cat's killed two mice in my house. Your cats are murderers. Every cat's a murderer. There's no doubt about that. But if the mice knew jujitsu, maybe my cat would have died.

Cat is so big. Cat is big. They don't have a chance. But the centipede's not that much bigger than the mouse. Or it's smaller than the mouse, really. Cat is big. Mice is small. What we gotta worry about is bugs. Because bugs are are small but that's what nature did to them they made them like invulnerable but small so we could squash them but if they were big we'd be so fucked those murder hornets remember they were trying to scare us with those yeah that was that was right during

the covid like you know you saw tiger king and then murder haunted but then no but then the honeybee figured out how to vibrate yeah all around it and kill it with heat isn't that crazy that's crazy crazy how did they figure that out and how do they know how to work together to overheat the the well utah is the hive state murder wasp utah is the hive state so bees are smart as shit yeah they're weirdly smart weirdly smart there's something connected to bees and aliens well for sure how come they all know how to make that fucking hive there's no classes they just come out knowing like let's fucking go come on man imagine all over the world this one being knows exactly the kind of shape to make and makes it with like what's it using

how what creates that wax it's like it's using what they get it's using what they get from plants right is it pollen that makes the stuff that they use for wax is that what they get or is it an excretion from their own excretion so they eat then they make this excretion and then they literally build a house with their own spit and then we eat it yeah it's delicious honeycomb it's very good never had it I'm not a big honey guy. No? Are you into sweet and low? No. You an aspartame or real sugar guy?

I like the Coke with real sugar. Real sugar Coke's the best. That's true. And there's an added benefit of knowing it's killing your body. A Diet Coke, you can pretend you're healthy. I'm having a Diet Coke. This is basically like water. Pepsi Max. That is not water, bitch.

There's nothing about that that's water. This is water for me. You know. What do you say? Why don't you crack that one open? Let's really get into it. Let's get down to the real nitty gritty. We got pretty into it, man.

We're with aliens making people. We're talking about eating bee poop yes yeah you know that's the crazy thing is we need bees to make other plants like when you find out about pollination you're like what like that's how it's done it's done through the bee the bee gets it on their body and then they go to another plant and it pollinates it that's's bananas. What a stupid system. That's what we need. There is a matriarchy. Oh yeah, for sure. There's one boss.

Queen, bitch. That's crazy. It's just like humans, essentially. Yeah, well in a way. Well, it's not, though. It's like some... Here's the thing about bees.

They're small, so we love them. But if they were big, they would be our biggest enemy ever. That would be the most terrifying thing on the planet is a horse-sized bee. And then imagine, like, enormous, huge colonies of horse-sized bees that come out of the mountains like demons just come in and snatch people up yeah do what those japanese hornets do where they cut those beehives head those uh honeybees heads off imagine if there's something out there doing that there's bees cutting other bees' heads off? Oh, yeah.

That's what these murder hornets do. They climb on top of the back of the honeybee, and they bite their head off. Yeah, but then honeybees strengthen numbers. That's the strength in numbers. I got my friends. But guess what? They don't always win.

It doesn't always work out. Sometimes there's a lot of murder hornets. And then sometimes motherfuckers get their heads cut off. Dude, there's a terrifying one that if it was a horror movie, like if you were a honeybee, it would be the worst Conan the Barbarian movie ever. The most brutal. They swarm in and these murder hornets grab ahold of these honeybees and just chop their heads off. And they're trying to get in, I think, to get to the...

I think they want... Do they want the eggs? This looks like a back music video. Bro, what's that? I think they're just assholes. I don't know. They're just assholes. But look how they do it.

They cut their fucking heads off, man. It's horrific. They're so much bigger. And they just run up on these honeybees and cut their heads off. How do they cut them off? With those clippers. Incisors? Yeah. See those front off with those clippers incisors yeah see those front clippers those lateral incisors grab them and chop them up man it's horrific they just tear them apart with their face so this is there's these weird look those are all dead honeybees and these these weird wars that go on with these uh murder hornets and honeybees how do you film this do you know know what's going to happen? Do they set the lights off

at the bees? They did. They totally set those fucking bees up. Dude, it looks like a fucking Tony Hawk skate video. This looks like a very 90s video. Jamie, that's a really good question. Do you think that this is like a murder for hire scene? It's a snuff film

for bees. Let the bees, or let the horns go and then they need a fish eye they need a fish eye lens look at what's going on here you got these hornets and you have murdered by this is a horror movie for bees like look around back there those are all bee bodies good transition there cut these i mean if if that's what we're like maybe they did set this up. Maybe they brought in murder hornets to an active honeybee colony. Look at that shit. I know.

Bodies, man. Headless bodies. The comb. Oh, the comb, yeah. I know. How'd they figure that out? It's perfect. It's always like that, too.

It's not like one guy, they're like, bro, I'm going to have a fucking double XL cone. Yeah, let me do it. My cone's going to have eight edges. Yeah. No one has cones like you know like some wheels on cars that are just so big there's no cone like that they're all the same yeah i don't know how to do it all over the world too it's a weird animal we're just lucky that little thing is that that size that fucker was big german shepherd size bees let's go back let's go back to the monolithic period there were probably bees fucking a foot long let's find out what was the biggest bee in history you

say a foot long i say you're probably right i say a foot long i agree with you i bet you dinosaur times those fuckers were that big that makes sense maybe even bigger i'm gonna go foot and a half fuck it i'll go foot and a half. Fuck it. I'll go foot and a half. What do you think, Jamie? The first result was not correct. It gave me something that was actually alive recently. They thought it was extinct, so that's not. Oh.

Let's take a guess now while we're waiting. I'd say 11 inches. I'd say a foot and a half. What do you say? That sounds so big. I know. They were big fuckers. But everything was big back then man a shoe flying around yeah a fucking a shack that's my boot that's my fucking boot

yeah 17 inches is pretty big i mean 18 inches five six inches that's pretty big too yeah inch and a half i say 11 is totally though. There was giant fucking bugs back then. 18 inches ain't shit. I would imagine there was... A big shack, sneaker. This keeps giving me this thing called Wallace's Giant Bee, which was two and a half inches. Oh, my God. Wingspan, two and a half inches.

That ain't shit. I know. What do you think? Let's Google this. We're all weird. What do you think is... Yo, I bet that dog was like fucking 30 feet long. That's how big it is, though.

It's still pretty big. I mean, we have that. That's right there. That's a tarantula hawk that's in front of the skull. See that little glass bottle? Oh, can I? Yeah, that's from Maynard. You know Maynard from Tool?

Maynard Keenan? He has these. That's him. His, from his farm. This is him. That's these. That's him. His. From his farm. This is him. That's his. It's him. He's haunting this room through that bug.

That's from his farm. He, you know, he runs, he has vineyards. And he sees these fuckers up there. Yeah. If we think about history as exponential, then these fuckers had to be 11 inches exactly. Science, bitch. Science. Okay, let's ask this.

What do you think the biggest bug ever is? What's the biggest bug ever? In history. In history. Make sure it's like not. Biggest bug in history. Like millions of years. I say two feet.

Okay. All right. I want to say bigger. Really? Yeah. I want to think there's some fucking seropods that are technically bugs. Is that what they're called? Seropods?

Theropods? Some of those crazy- Cephalopods. Cephalopods. Is that what it is?? Theropods? Theropods? Some of those crazy... Cephalopods. Cephalopods. Is that what it is? Maybe. And then crazy ancient... Oh, yeah, those fuckers that are like the Pokemon.

What's it? Kabutops. Yeah, there was some creepy old bugs back in the day. For sure. Yeah. I want to say it might be three feet. You could probably... It's different.

So it isn't like a lobster and crabs are technically... Intestines. That's what the divers call on the calm but there are bigger ones of those than this largest dragonfly it's showing me I was like 1.8 meters I feel like there's gotta be a crabber what's a conversion bigger than that what's one feet and then point eight point is this is compared to a six-foot person it's not that big. It's pretty big. If that's trying to climb in your asshole, if that was trying to climb in your asshole, you'd be very unhappy.

That's big. But yeah, compared to a person. And they say that's the largest extinct insect? 275 million years ago. Oh, not that impressive. Unimpressed. If you change the parameters on what an insect is, then we could... Yeah, no, not even insect. Type in bug.

That's like a large hot dog. That's what it's like. I have largest bug ever in history, and it's just dragonfly. Largest bug ever in history. We're lucky they're little, man. We're lucky they're little, man. We're lucky they're little. I just found out a few years ago that when locusts come and they swarm into an area and ruin cornfields and shit like that, those are grasshoppers. Some weird change happens to grasshoppers and they become locusts. And it doesn't happen all the time.

There's like some... They're possessed. Well, maybe. Maybe we're trying to write it down as some sort of technical hormonal change inside the animal. But maybe that is. Every now and then they get possessed by demons. And we're just trying to figure it out. What makes harmless little green grasshoppers turn into brown crop chomping clouds of swarming locusts?

Serotonin. No shit. Yep. According to a study published this week in Science, it took just two to three hours for timid grasshoppers in a lab to morph into a gregarious locusts. Into gregarious locusts after they were injected with serotonin. Wow. Wow. So it changes, this chemical changes what they are.

And they get bigger, I think, right? Don't they get bigger? They look bigger. Well, you saw a grasshopper eat a carrot. So they get up there. That was a ridiculous grasshopper. Like, if you were on your bike and your face hit that grasshopper,per, you'd be fucking – you might get knocked off the bike, right? This fucker's got to be like a baseball.

Bro, that's a bird. You hit a bird. If you hit a bird with your face while you're driving your bike, you're probably going to fall down. You probably – You might be able to take it if you get the wiggle of the bike, keep your wits about you. If you get hit in the face with a bird. I mean, planes go down. Right, they do.

Birds get sucked into the fucking engine. It's one bird. I think it's more than one bird. You need a few birds. A couple birds. I think you need a lot of beaks. The beaks is what does it. Most of the stuff, I think, grinds up quick.

Beaks are keto. Yeah, the meat grinds up quick. I think it's the beaks quick. Beaks are keto. Yeah, the meat grinds up quick. I think it's the beaks. The beaks are the issue. It blows my mind, too. Rolls Royce makes turbines. Yeah, for jet engines.

That's the craziest shit. They make dope stuff, man. That's a weird company, right? It's pretty baller. You want to let everybody know you're not fucking around. Right? It's pretty baller. You want to let everybody know you're not fucking around. I have a Rolls Royce derby on my airplane.

I don't. No, I was just playing a character. Would you drive a Rolls Royce? Would I? Yeah. Yeah. Do you have one? You have one?

Beautiful. What does it feel like when you drive around that thing? Like a boat. It's like you're on a pontoon but you're also on a you're on like there's if you wanted to go to the king of the the custom car like the king of the expensive luxury cars rolls royce that's the king yeah there's something about it driving around you got that grill come on son you got stars in the roof ladies love it on the roof that's right stars on the roof you gotta do that in the bronco no uh no can't do that to the bronco 72 bronco you're not allowed to do that that's gross you can't you can't put that blue light inside the wheel well uh-uh stop doing that stop doing that

listen man i got blue light in my wheel well you can have that if you like you're a different person a lot of people should not put blue light in the wheel well of their classic bronco but yours is from the oj days yeah right that's okay you can do whatever you want to those I'm happy to see that here because there's a certain charm about Broncos that I think a lot of people understand they make you smile I see a nice Bronco makes me smile there's something about it even the new ones I love it look at that that's my explorer that's a 92 ford explorer ladies and gentlemen you got a 92 ford explorer with those kind of crazy gullwing doors yeah the back ones don't work they're hard it's hard to get in but it looks cool i think the person who did those wing doors the best is tesla

that tesla x yeah the gullwing where it goes. It goes straight up in the air and then it comes straight down. I mean, those things are sick. I like Christmas mode. What's Christmas mode? I've seen the dance mode. Yeah, that's the same. What? Maybe you just do dance mode

during December and then it's Christmas mode. Tiffany Haddish. Back in the days we were allowed to go to the comedy store, Tiffany Haddish was in the parking lot and she had her car on dance mode. She had it playing music and the car was dancing. She was dancing in front of it and a bunch of us were dancing too. It was hilarious. It was like a car dancing. Car dances.

What were your moves like? My dance moves? Yeah. They were very subtle. Very like barely moving. It's like a toe tap. Yeah, look at that shit. Very barely moving. It's like a toe tap. Yeah, look at that shit. There it is. Yeah, that's the Christmas.

That's crazy. It also plays Trans-Siberian Orchestra. This is what happens when you get super smart dudes and you give them too much free time. You're like, what else do you guys want to do? And they're like, Elon, what we want to do is we want to make it dance. Like, okay. That's cool. For Christmas. Super cool. we want to make it dance. Like, okay, that's cool. For Christmas. Super cool.

We want to make it dance for Christmas, Halloween, every holiday. Yeah. That's a different animal, too. Like, the Tesla animal's a different animal. When you're in one of those, it doesn't even feel like a car. It feels like you're on some next level thing. You're in some, oh, this is what the future of cars is oh it's here right now would you drive a entirely autonomous car i think you're gonna have to eventually i don't think so i think they're gonna get so good

at making those things not crash that will completely eliminate auto accidents. But then there's something that could... Have you seen Upgrade? Yes, I did. Fun movie. And then, great movie. Yeah. Car gets hacked. Yes, that's right.

That's right. Right. I think always, and I can't speak for the next generation, but I think I will always, until I die, drive my motor vehicle. I think that... We're old school. Yeah. If we like it or not.

We're old school. Because think, you're younger than me, but there will be people younger than you. And 10, 20 years from now, they'll be dealing with a totally different reality. Like, there's a lot of kids today that are just used to Uber, right? That's what they do. They just use Lyft or they use Uber and they barely drive anywhere. Avoids drunk driving, doesn't cause that much. They just travel around with other people driving them. They're used to someone else driving. So if all of a sudden it comes along that you can get a

car that can drive you around and with a hundred percent certainty, not crash into other cars, like that they all communicate with each other. They're going to say, hey, people, we got this. Like, think about how many people die from car accidents every year. Right. Now, think about what we would do to bring those people back. All you have to do is not drive your car, and that's how it happens. It doesn't happen because anybody's evil. It doesn't happen.

Right. It's just like, this is what people do. They get more and more control over their environment and more and more control over safety and more and more control over what you can and can't do because you don't want to violate the safety protocols. If everybody else is using the autonomous car and you're in your crazy Bronco and you smash into someone, that's your fault. You fucked up. If you didn't have that goddamn Bronco post Malone. It's just like an airplane flight.

If I'm gonna die on an airplane I would rather know that I'm gonna die rather than be completely out of control. I wonder what that would be like if you were asleep. Probably be fine. They never woke you up?

You took two of those ambience and just fucking crashed. I'm just going to lay here. Got a couple of champagnes. And there's all this oxygen mass falling down from the ceiling. You're out of the game. You're out cold, son. Stop.

I hate flying. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But then you just wake up in another dimension. If you knew how to fly a plane yeah everything would be different the sure if you knew how to fly an airplane yeah the anxiety of flying would be gone i don't think that's true because you still you understand that turbulence is

controllable and you can figure it out yeah but i think when shit goes wrong it goes really wrong yeah it's always going to be there right there's always going to be that fear but then as a passenger as a passenger yeah it's kind of like being with a crazy driver you're like oh he's making me nervous yeah a little bit could be, I mean, turbulence is uncontrollable. But you feel more comfortable having known if this crazy driver goes crazy, you can grab the wheel and know how to drive. Fuck. Imagine that scenario, drinking champagne hang with

your buddies on a plane thinking everything's groovy all sudden pilot has a stroke and then fuck oh shit post he knows how to fly a plane he's gonna save the day what if they both get sick with some crazy disease you only stopped in hawaii for one night but something that the fucking pilots ate they're sick with a contagious disease and they're in the front so they're zombies dude the pilots are zombies yeah we just made a fucking dope ass movie right now doesn't it chuck paluk, doesn't he have a movie or a book? Here's a short story where a person turns into a werewolf on a plane.

Somebody sent it to me a long time ago. That sounds awesome. Yeah, I think it's a little girl. A little girl becomes a werewolf on a plane. It's called Survivor. Wait. Well, he's got two, but it's about a plane. Wait. Well, he's got two. He bought a plane.

Sorry. It's a kid becomes a werewolf on a plane. Google that. That's what I did. Type that in. What is that? He had a collection of horror stories, didn't he? Okay, that's called Haunted.

Haunted? Yeah. That's Chuck Palahniuk, right? Mm-hmm. Am I saying his name right? I believe so. Thank you. See? Yeah, that's it. That's Chuck Palahniuk, right? Mm-hmm. Am I saying his name right? I believe so. Thank you. See?

Yeah, that's it. That's it. And one of them is about, am I remembering this wrong? This seems super obscure. It popped up when I was looking through here. Let me see if I can find the thing about the... This is the same guy who wrote Fight Club. Really interesting guy.

Had him on the podcast for a very interesting guy. Super smart. But what a fucking imagination. That's a great movie, though. Embracing of creepy thoughts. Right? Pilots get the zombie disease before taking off, and then the pilots become zombies on the flight.

There it is. A 13-year-old Chihuahua Indian girl transformed as if a werewolf aboard the plane and caused a crash. She relates her theory to Missing Link who tells her the girl in question was his sister. Okay, I think I just gave away some spoilers. Hey-oh. What's in the box? What's in the box?

What's in the box? No, no, no. No. No, no, no. What do you do with Kevin Spacey? What happens with that guy now? I have no idea. He's the guy.

He's Kaiser. Isn't he? Wasn't he the guy in that movie? That was Brad Pitt. I was doing Brad Pitt. But he's the killer. He's the guy in that's Kaiser. Isn't he? Wasn't he the guy in that movie? That was Brad Pitt. I was doing Brad Pitt. But he's the killer. He's the guy in that movie. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, seven. I was doing Brad Pitt. I know. But I was saying, he's saying it to Kevin Spacey. Then he kills Kevin Spacey, right? I'm 25. I hear you, bro.

That's one of the best answers anybody's ever given to anything. One of the most self-aware answers anybody's ever given to anything. How about this first? Great fucking movie, man. Seven. Jesus Christ, that was a vivid movie. Large torso. Kevin Spacey?

Hmm. Okay.acing? Okay. There it is. It's not the smallest torso. I'm not arguing. You're jealous. You're a little bit jealous. You know your torso is bigger. It seems like he's got a good lung capacity.

He can take a big deep breath. What's in the box? It's a creepy ass fucking movie, man. I love a good creepy movie. Me too. True Detective was kind of like seven for me. The first season. Yes.

I like them supernatural. I like creepy movies supernatural or with monsters because I know they're bullshit that way. Like ones that are like too close to humans, to actual human I like that. I like kind of like the slasher type vibe to where it's like, oh, there's

a dude in a mask that wants to fuck everybody up. Because I know if it was my house, I'd just pop the fucker and then burn him. I don't think that works with Jason. It works with Jason. But he always comes back. He made like a hundred movies.

Well, what was the last movie? The last movie was Jamie Lee Curtis. She's still fucking with this dude. It's Halloween. Oh, that's a different one? Yeah, it's Michael Myers. Michael Myers. Oh, Jason is different.

Yeah, and then Michael Myers. Yeah, Halloween. That's right. And my dad used to scare the fuck out of me, and he knew Michael Myers scared the shit out of me, and for Halloween, he put the mask on and scared the living shit out of me. That's a terrible thing to do to a kid. Well, that's why I'm so fucked up.

Michael Myers is Halloween, and Jasonason is which one had more movies halloween was only a few right jason vorhees right he had the most there was like fucking eight of those motherfuckers nine he died in space or something like that that's where it got to that's where it got to he linked up you do you remember leprechaun? Yes. Yes, I do leprechaun killed Jason Oh my god, that got to a point where Freddy Krueger was fighting Jason And the only motherfucker that could kill Jason was fucking Freddy Krueger. Oh, that's so stupid. Oh My god, it's so stupid look at Leprechaun.

Yo, there is a Leprechaun versus Jason. There really is. Someone might have edited this cleverly or something. No, I remember this. This was an actual movie. I don't think so. Are you sure? I'm pretty sure. I remember Leprechaun in space.

Well, why don't you Google whether or not it's a movie? Well, I did, and I just clicked on the first thing that popped up. I think Leprechaun versus Jason was a movie. I think people edited some shit. Why don't you Google it? Yeah, buddy. Jesus Christ. I did, and all that comes up is YouTube clips.

I don't think it's a real movie. What about that? A fan-made trailer. But Jason and Freddy really did. People ask for, is Jason stronger than Freddy? Which Jason is the scariest? Jason and Leprechaun. How does someone not make that movie?

That movie is a dumb deal. Can we look up Leprechaun-Jason fan fiction? Bro, before COVID, you could walk. There has to be some fanfic of Leprechaun and Jason. 100% there has to be. But before COVID, you could probably walk into any of those horror movie making producer's office and pitch that idea and they'd be like, oh shit,

why didn't we think of that? Leprechaun versus Jason. It's a no-brainer. In space. In space. In Yellowstone. And Michael Myers is the director. How many movies were there with Jason? It has to be like 20, right?

It's like more. Okay, let's ask this. More Jasons or more Mission Impossibles? More Jason. Really? For sure. That's a lot of Mission Impossibles. There's like five, right?

I don't know. I was trying to find the newest one the other day. I was trying to watch something crazy and mindless. There's a lot of Bourne identities. There's 12. There's 12 one the other day. I was trying to watch something crazy and mindless. There's a lot of born identities. There's 12 Friday the 13th. Yeah, 12. Oh, my God. The prophecy will be concluded on the 13th. Yeah, exactly.

They're waiting for that. It's been 10 years. No, they're waiting for Leprechaun versus. 11 years technically. This is the trailer for the fucking movie, Jamie. This is the trailer. You saying that, us looking it up, everybody laughing. Oh, fuck.

It's Jason Voorhees. And the leprechaun together at last. Imagine getting killed by a leprechaun. You'd be like, I can't believe this shit. Like if you're a girl, you go home. If you're a groupie and you go home with the goblin or the... Necrogoblin. Yeah. I can't even say that. Imagine you go home with the goblin or the... Necrogoblicon.

I can't even say that. Imagine if he's a real goblin. Can't even say the word. Necrogoblicon. Goblin's hard to say. It would be a great Stephen King book right there. A goblin who pretended to be a guy in makeup. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, he still writes. Look at that leprechaun. Terrifying. Terrifying. There's a great stephen king movie about a vampire that flies around at night in his own plane great in terms of like let me just like stress it's classic it's like it's like a very 80s like it's not great though you see it like man this is like they made it yesterday not like uh you know like uh. Not like a classic Francis Ford Coppola movie or Stanley Kubrick movie. Not like that.

But it's called Night Flyer, I think. It's a really good book. I read the book. It's like a short story, I think. And then the movie is this vampire just flying around fucking people up. And then he covers his plane during the day, and he just lays out there, and they have to figure out what the fuck's going on.

And there's this vampire with his own plane flying around fucking people up. That's pretty cool. I watched Salem's Lot for the first time. That's a good movie. That was a made-for-TV thing. Salem's Lot? Yeah.

Well, it's like fucking nine hours long. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like a made for like network television miniseries type of deal. Well that was It too. It was made The first one, right? It was a television thing, right? Yeah, I think so. That was the one with the guy from

Rocky Horror Picture Show, right? Isn't it? Alice Cooper? No, the... Tim Curry is Tim Curry Tim Curry's the first it he was the first it in the TV version of it

which is like believe it or not scary at the time it's terrible no that movie sucks I hate it it scares the fuck

out of me still but they're nothing compared to the new ones the new it's that's the new it yeah that's I think this guy I think this guy's

scarier than the new it. That's the new it. Yeah, that's... I think this guy's... Oh, is it? I think this guy's scarier than the new guy. That's pretty scary. We all float down here, cowboy. Look at that face, man. Jesus Christ. So that's the 1990 Pennywise. Yeah, there's something about that that might actually be creepier. Yeah, it's just like fucking lifeless.

Well, there's something about it. It's a real, it's, the thing about that is like, if you looked into a sewer and you saw a man, like that's a real thing. That's not like CGI. No, that's like, yeah, there's no effects. There's no effects. Yeah, the thing about the new one is it scares the fuck out of you, but when it opens its mouth and then clamps down and bites a kid's arm off, you're like, that's not really happening. Do you know Michael Myers' mask was Will Shatner?

What? Really? It was a Will Shatner mask? Yeah. No shit. It was. Yeah, there's a lot of information on it. But Michael Myers' mask was like a Will Shatner...

Oh, my God. It was supposed to be Captain Kirk, apparently, but... Oh, my God. They just took the eyebrows off. It's fucking terrifying. Oh, my God, it is. That is who he is. How weird.

Isn't that weird? Fucking real weird, but that's how fucking goes It's like the uncanny valley There's something about someone wearing a mask to like that kind of mask like you can't you don't see any humanity. Yeah, it's just I'm gonna fucking destroy it. Yes from the darkness that's what we're all scared of right we're all scared of some super powerful demonic shit that's outside of our control jason's coming demons are coming what if demons existed but really rarely just like ufos like these people that have taken selfies at the grand canyon and they're like posing like look and then also what if this little demon is just waiting for a moment like that?

In the Grand Canyon? Yeah, everywhere. Just waiting for you to do something stupid. There's just a couple. There's like 15. There it is, Night Flyer. Yeah, look at that. That's the vampire.

That guy's the reporter. He's going to expose the vampire. When I say it's really good, i don't mean it's really good i mean it's really good because it's kind of schlocky and crazy and you're watching this fucking he's not fighting back i like no he can't i like the vampire so power, he has to do what the vampire says. The book is cooler, for sure. The book is really cool. There's another book that's really good that Stephen King did about aliens called The Tommy Knockers. That's a great book.

That's about a UFO that was buried in the ground near a town, and its energy started fucking everybody up. It was messing with people. messing because there was this, this thing that was right. And that was, that was a great book that they made a movie out of it, but the movie didn't really kind of capture what the book was about. It's too hard. It makes sense.

Radiation, I guess. Yeah. Radiation. I'm not a doctor or anything. Outer space craft fucking with all these people. How do you react to that? Who knows, man?

Who knows? You've seen Brightburn? Brightburn? What's that? So it's like Superman if he was bad. Superman if he was bad. If he was evil. Okay.

I thought it was great. It's a movie? Yeah. It's a movie. Whoa! When did this come out? Two years ago. Really?

Yep. God damn it. You should watch this fucker. I'm so out of the loop. You should watch this fucker. Really? It's pretty good. Yeah.

Dude, that sounds incredible. It's literally like parallel Superman, but if he was bullied and treated like shit and he was angry. Whoa. Just imagine that. Oh my God, imagine that. If you had that power but you were angry instead of wanting to help people. Right.

Like who says superheroes want to help people? Oh my God. Yeah, imagine if you're like super fucking annoying but you're also super powerful. You're from another planet but you smell weird and the girls here don't like you. Yeah. Fuck. You're from another planet. And you're fucking 12 and you're like, God damn it.

And you just get angry and you become. And you fucking. You let them know. Squish your mom. Listen, bitches. With a school bus. I'm more powerful than all you fucking ants. I always think about that, too.

Fucking ants. I always think about that, too. If there was a real superhero, would he lay low or would he be like, I am God? He would be beating girls off his dick 24 hours a day and he wouldn't have a chance to save the world. Because they would be just lined up. There's a show called The Boys. Right? They don't want that DNA.

Oh, yeah. It's like a superhero show. Yeah. But it's like superheroes are like celebrities but it would be on such a more grand scale bro but if you were the only one to you would be like the the king of the planet well that's that was always my problem with the watchmen not my problem but like uh an interesting part of the watchmen story was dr manhattan right who was basically a god right he could do anything right there was it seemed to be no limit to his powers i mean he lived in space and his wiener was huge huge giant blue hog and that was back when you could show hogs. You could show them in a movie, right?

I find a lot more hogs in movies nowadays. Well, now they're desperate. It's like all they have is streaming. We need a fucking hog. They have to show the hog. It was for a while you could be cavalier about hiding your hogs. You didn't have to go to showing the hog in order to get ratings. But now, God damn it, with Netflix, they can do anything.

We got to show some hogs. We got hogs on Netflix. But in that movie, it was like, remember when they had Dr. Manhattan, like you got out of the shower or something like that. And you're like, Jesus. Like you see his big old dick and you had to. So if you went to just to see a superhero movie and you're out there with your girl, you're having some popcorn, drinking some Diet Coke, enjoying this movie

all of a sudden you see a big old blue dick that you did not expect. But what about when he goes full size like huge in New York walking around with his giant blue dick just swinging. What does God's dick look like?

Like that. It's perfect. Not not too big not too small it's like the perfect tits aren't like triple e fake boobs right there's a there's a perfect time perfect dick's ridiculous like what is the number like a dude with a giant carpet roll dick that's no good like that's now you've got a handicap there's a there's a comfortable time like whatever the size you gotta stop right there and don't be greedy. I'm happy here. Normal.

Good for you. Normal's a good place to be, man. Normal's a good place to be. I don't want the Dr. Manhattan dick. Yeah, you don't want any of that shit. But that dude was a, that dude was a real God. Yeah.

What's crazy is that could be people and that could be people in a hundred years with gene editing and technology. And CRISPR. CRISPR, and then the ability to incorporate technology inside of human beings. When they figure out how to put processors inside of human beings and make you smarter. They figure out a way to connect your brain, connect it through the air with the internet. You're always connected.

That's the next move. It's going to happen. That's the next move is your wallet's in your body. There was a video, and I don't know if it was fake. Jamie, there was a video where there was a corporation that was, they convinced their employees to get a microchip in their arm. Was that fake? That was real.

No shit. And they used it to buy things at lunch, and they could use it to open doors. Dude, they stuck this thing in their fucking arm. So they have this RFID chip in their arms. If you want to work there, you have to get it in your arm. Sounds like the Belko experiment. Just imagine that, man. you want to work at ups great

we need to stick a fucking electronic but that's what's inside your body i mean 97 percent of money is digital right like how much of it is actual gold three percent look at that thing they planted that in that dude's fucking hand no now what if he does jujitsu then what huh that thing's gonna break you're gonna have to cut it out it's gonna get infected god damn it no shit bro there's a fucking company and these people are lining up to get this shit injected into their body look at that guy he's like I should have stayed in college that's what he's thinking right now he's thinking I should own this company these guys are all assholes I can't believe everyone's willing to get this thing inserted in their fucking body can't believe I couldn't ever crazy I couldn't ever what

is the the the company's name? Three Square Market. I think I read about it once, but they might have been doing proof of concept to show this could work for other companies. Is that what they do? Do they do these things? Almost like I think those Amazon Go stores where you can just walk in, grab what you want, and leave. Your chip knows how much money you have, and it just scans the scanner or whatever on the way out. What if you don't have money? Then it follows you home. What if you don't have money?

One of those iRobots. What if you build up that debt? It's like 10 grand in chip debt and then they got to fucking take your fucking hand. iRobot knocks on your door. Bang, bang, bang. Man. We are here to collect money from you, Pulse Malone.

It's the suede denim secret police. Fuck. Westworld. You ever watch that show? Yeah. First season. Artificial people you're allowed to shoot. Artificial pee-pee?

People. Oh, okay. Robot people you're allowed to shoot. Artificial people. Artificial people you're allowed to shoot. I might have stumbled through that. I might have fucked that up Well I can't say NecroGoblinCon

Who can? Who can? That would be a great Stephen King book right? A goblin that tricks people into thinking it's a man in a mask How about a goblin with a microchip that runs out of money And then he has to go on the run from his fucking His debt collectors Yeah

That's a cool movie. Yeah, that's a cool... You get a little bit of Lord of the Rings, you get a little bit of Iroh, you get all that shit. He has to tell people, I keep my phone off most of the time because the debt collectors just blow my phone up.

I only turn it on a couple minutes a day just to check my messages. Maybe you think... The chip just goes crazy. The advantages of implants over cards is their permanence. They are unlikely to be lost and are non-transferable. Businesses do not need to worry about theft or access details to the same degree. Because to do so would involve mutilation and be much

more obvious what what the fuck is this mutilation in the army someone that's incredible stealing your chip so they could cut it off your body from a business perspective it also allows a more precise tracking of employees due to the in-body nature of an implant over a cart. Oh my God. So listen to this, but this statement is so bizarre. Mutilation in the article is in the paragraph. Businesses do not need

to worry about theft or of access details to the same degree, because to do so would involve mutilation and be much more obvious. Imagine you don't have to worry about someone cutting that chip out of your fucking hip and using it to open all the building and stealing all the information because that would be obvious. No, it would be really obvious.

Everyone would see it coming. And it would involve mutilation. I love mutilation in the paragraph. That's my favorite. You're sitting around at your house thinking, I can't believe I let these motherfuckers inject this thing in my hip. Just feeling it every morning. You touch this thing. That's what I was getting at.

If you're overdue on your balance, it would just irritate you. There would be something that would irritate you to the point of insanity wake up and get another job to pay me what who are you fucking neurological and just said that yeah the chip it's your chip it's chip yeah it's the overlord we are communicating to you from your chip you don't want us to involve mutilation in this fucking because that would be obvious it would be too obvious it would be too obvious and involved that's like the most non-soothing yeah if they were trying to sell that fucker it's not working that is the least soothing way to say no one's gonna steal the chip because No, they would have to cut it out of you. It would involve

mutilation. Holy fuck. Imagine. No one mutilates. Don't worry. It's totally safe. No one's ever mutilated. They don't even have a really good reason for you to do it. Of course they don't. It's just to use copy machines.

Open doors. Use the copy machine. How It's just to use copy machines, open doors. I use the copy machine. How about I just press fucking copy? How about I press start, boss? You can't put a fucking chip in me, bitch. What if that chip rots? What happens if you play rugby and the chip breaks inside your arm?

It says you can take it out just as easy as a splinter. That's a lie. But then it says modulation. The chip is about this fucking big. That's the biggest splinter I've seen. That's hilarious. Oh, my God. They would just have to Bowie knife it out of you.

That's got to be a fucking, it probably is a Dark Mirror episode, right? Is there one of those where someone gets a chip? I think every episode of Black Mirror they have a chip. Yeah, they figured it out. Black Mirror's figured out everything that's going to happen, everything that's going to go wrong. You had the cloning thing earlier with that cloning episode that dude had, remember? Where they had the space station team?

Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. That was the one where the guy was the tyrant, right? Yeah. Fuck, that was a creepy one. That was a creepy one. I like the video game one where he goes, stays at that old mansion, and he just goes fucking nuts.

That's a good one. How long before they're going to make an artificial post malone that looks just like you sits right next to you freaks you out is he doing my shows no he's got no talent he's a robot he's a robot i think there's gonna be it's gonna be a long road before they figure out a way to make an artificial thing that's creative. I think that might be the only thing we have. Well, they try to make computers make music all the time. It sucks. It sucks.

There's something that we do, like we were talking about earlier. When you're doing something, we, I mean humans, that makes other people happy. That thing is hard to define. It's hard to figure out with numbers. Like, you listen to Eye of the Tiger and you want to start running. It's the Eye of the Tiger. Like, what is that? Let a computer fucking make that.

Can't make it. There's no shot. If you were a kid when I was when Rocky III came out and that fucking song comes out, holy shit. Yeah. Come on, man. What are my chances of the artificial postie sitting here while I take a piss? Take a piss.

I knew it. I knew it was coming. Go. Go take a piss, bro. We have plenty of time. We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen. And this is sponsored by NecroGoblicon. We'll be right back.

Yeah, disc problems are no joke, man. If you have bulging discs or herniated discs you gotta take care of those what you definitely can't do is fuck them up worse sure like if you have a chance do something take they're real close to being able to fix that too they're already replacing them they're replacing them with these titanium discs that move around they're not perfect but it's better than you know having degenerative disc disease and having massive pain all the time and that's not something that's not something that i'm mad at is what are you mad at a disc i'm mad at chips in your hands

that you have to mutilate to get out. Yeah, that's scary. People totally do that. But a piece of metal instead of a bone isn't harmful. No. Because there's no technology in that. It's just a filler, right? Right. It's just something to replace something that's broken. Right.

Like if your hand gets bitten off by a shark, and they say, listen, you got two options. Right. You can have no hand or we'll make you a hand that looks exactly like your old hand, Luke Skywalker style. Right. And you put that on, you can feel with it and everything, but it just won't be a real hand. No, I mean, that's totally fine too. If it's controlled by your brain.

You wake up in the middle and it's choking you. And see, that's the whole argument. That could happen. That could happen. Come on, man. That's some Terminator shit. How strong would your goddamn hand be if it was made out of metal? Wires and shit.

Do you think you couldn't fight? A robot? No. They'd fuck you up. If you had a metal hand, you couldn't fight. A robot? No. They'd fuck you up. If you had a metal hand, you couldn't fight. No, they wouldn't let you. No. No chance. You can't have a metal thing.

That would be like the new argument. Bone is hard as fuck. Metal-handed people are people, too, and they would want to enter into MMA and fuck people up with their iron arms. Oh, my God. That's that dude's. Oh shit. Paul DeGelder. But he's got some, I just was looking, he had this crazy hook thing.

Oh, so he makes a bunch of different. That's cool as hell. Is that for climbing? It doesn't say. I don't think. So he has different prosthetics that he does different things with. Yeah. No context for that.

I met him. He's got a carbon fiber articulating hand and a carbon fiber leg. He got attacked by a shark. Is the hand controllable? Yeah, he can move it like this. With his nerves. I don't know how it's hooked up. Do you know how it's hooked up?

Nope. I don't know if it's muscles. I was like, uh-oh. That was normal. Maybe he contracts it with his muscles. That's the whole thing. That's okay. Yeah, I know we've done this before. But if somebody gets...

It's like the self-driving car, right? Right. If there's a way for somebody to control that, and it's not just your nerves or whatever controlling it, instead of it's hooked up to the cloud or something somewhere like the fucking chip you know what i mean i do know what you mean look i've never played an acoustic guitar right but i would imagine it's probably a pretty magical experience to play in like a really good guitar. It's very visceral and satisfying.

That analog, visceral, satisfying feeling of doing something, that exists in the car world too. If you're driving like a 1969 Porsche 911, those air-cooled cars, they weigh like 2,000 pounds, and it's got this crazy weird mechanical sound to it bro that there's a thing there's a connection you have to that that you're not going to get once you start adding technology all that shit's gone that weird thing that that very analog thing that you get from like it exists with a it exists with looking at a painting. It exists with listening to someone sing. It exists with jokes. There's a thing, man, when you can just fucking nail a thing that makes you feel.

Those cars make you feel better. That's the difference. Like an old car will make you feel better. A new car is not going to do that. A new car is going to be cool as fuck and awesome. Right. But it's not going to make you feel better. Right. A new car's not going to do that. A new car's going to be cool as fuck and awesome. Right. But it's not going to make you feel better. Like, there's something about it.

Yeah, it feels good. You feel better. You're on a drug. It's a very mild, amazing drug. You're not going to get that off a spaceship that's autonomous. You know, it's autonomously driving. Yeah, and that's the whole deal. So it's like, you know, there is technology that's helpful.

Technology does not go with the human body. This is like organic. Right. You know what I mean? Yes. And like the chip, it's, it's gonna go wrong sometimes. For sure. It has to.

It's not always gonna be perfect. All the people with the chip are 100% happy. Yeah. None of them got infections. No mutilation. Everybody was happy. Nobody mutilated them. There was no mutilation.

It was never so obvious. That's what I'm saying. Like, if you have to have a piece or a disc in your spine removed with a metal plate instead of a metal plate with a microchip in it, that's the total difference. You know what I mean? I do know what you mean. But what if that microchip made you feel better? What if they put that microchip in you and all of a sudden, this is how I want you to look at it.

What it is is essentially new software management of your body. Your mind will stay the same post Malone. Right. But your body will now be in control of this perfect system that's going to figure out what it needs and what it doesn't need, work it all out. You just live your life. You don't have to worry about your body anymore. I've already seen too many movies about this. Don't worry about your body.

I'm not into it. It's fine. Everything's going to be wonderful. It's okay. It is cool to be cyborg. If you're living a shitty life, you're like, I fucking hate delivering for Postmates. I hate fucking where I sleep. I hate what I do i do i'm tired i don't want to do it anymore and then all of a sudden this this little thing comes along right give control of your body to

the state you still be the same inside your mind but our microchip will control all of your biology to the point where you no longer need to go to the doctor. You don't need health insurance because you're never going to get sick. Right. One by one, people give in. Interesting. We get infected. Interesting.

We get infected by technology. Don't you think it's possible? Most definitely. But is it better? Here's the thing. Is it better if your grandma dies of cancer or is it better? Here's the thing. Is it better in your cells makes its way through to your brain and fucking explodes jihad this is the craziest thing ever that what they're willing to do today

with um with technology and you know like what they're experimenting on what we're seeing in these videos is just a tiny amount of what's possible for them in the future. I mean, they could, man, we could have insane technology of changing human bodies inside our lifetime. You're in shape, right? I try my best. Me, not so much. Do you ever want to be? No.

Well, there you go then. Yeah, I mean, I'm happy here. As long as you're happy but like we were talking about earlier it comes to i guess generation wise yes because if you have to pantomime a cell phone how do you do it you got to do like this like this yeah flip phone but i saw a video of are they doing this now? They're doing this. Oh, okay. That makes sense.

Because of the iPhone. Yeah. But we do it like this. Yeah. So there maybe later comes a time, because like I said, I will never drive a fully autonomous car. But... I hear you i'm sure there's someone years down the line that will be like oh fuck yeah are you kidding me i think they're gonna do it because it's safer

and i think that's why it's gonna be really hard to get people to uh sign off on the idea of letting people drive their own cars it's a thing that we got really used to that we only got used to for a little while i mean there was no cars in 1700 and in the 2020s everyone's got a fucking car they're everywhere so in that time period we went from all of human history no cars to the invention of a car whenever the fuck that was we figured that out once i think like 1800s or something the 1800s they figured out the first car. That's not that long. And then we just decide, well, you have to have a car. It's basic human right. You don't really have to have a car. But cars are awesome.

Like, an old car is awesome. You do need to have a car. How are you going to get to your job? Public transportation, if it's better. But that's a car. Well, not necessarily. It could be like a tube where people fly through it. It's all magnets on the other end

to keep it from crashing into each other. They could figure out some weird shit that has nothing to do with cars. It's too late. It's not totally too late. I think if they could figure out a way to convince people that there will be no more auto accidents,

that would be a good way to get people on board. Right. If they said no more auto accidents ever, people would probably be like get people on board right if they said no more auto accidents ever people would probably be like oh well how can you argue against that you selfish fuck you want to shift through your own gears and kill my nana and that's that's what people are going to do they're going to give into it because they don't want to be selfish i mean this is like the slow slide into accepting that we're a part of technology

right the slow slide is us hanging on to our biology as much as possible. I think that's a good thing. I think biology is awesome. But I see the writing on the wall. I see where it's going. Yeah, I mean, it's going away. We're sliding into this new existence. But we're real insistent on keeping our old ways.

It's real weird. I know in terms of like, I like to hear the rumble of an engine. I'm one of those people. I love a rumble of an engine. Right. But then, I mean, I don't want to backtrack too much, but I have been. But at the end of the day, I would rather be responsible for my decisions, I suppose. Yes.

Well, you're an artist. You know, just being an artist is a different kind of person. It's a person who's chosen a path of doing whatever the fuck they want to do, like expressing themselves professionally. Of course you don't want someone driving you. It feels good to drive. Yeah. The experiences that you get in life you want to you want to feel them

all you know some of them are dangerous some of them come with consequences if you make a mistake that's how you get better if you take away all consequences my concern is that we're going to just like keep protecting ourselves more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more to it to the point where we're just incapable of withstanding any adversity that's what i'm worried about with people well and that's what i say i this is this is why i would rather drive my own car is because like you never fully never, you wake up and you never know what's happening. Right. You never know what's going to happen during the day.

There's something good about that. Yeah. No, it's incredible. But we're all people and I would rather have that be biological than a computer. Yes. Controlled. And that's where I'm coming from, I suppose. I'm with you.

I'm with you. I see both sides of it. I really do. Right. I'm not on a particular side of it. Right. Because I think what all of us are doing is like witnessing these changes happening in real time and trying to hold on to whatever ground we have

that we think is important and sacred you know i think that's one of the things we're doing where you know people that ride motorcycles they want to ride harleys and loud engines and it's romantic it's exciting all those things i think are cool but i see the writing on the wall like a hundred years from now it's it's all going to be autonomous yeah there's going to be very few licenses that we give away to people to let them drive their own cars right it's probably it's probably all going to be controlled by some central system that keeps you at a certain pace, you know, it's going to be annoying. It's going to be annoying. It's going to be just drive to work.

No more fun anymore. Before, it's like if you worked at a job and you had a 68 Camaro and you drove your 68 Camaro to work, while you're driving down the street listening to Whitesnake, here I go again on my own, while you're driving down the street listening to Whitesnake And you're driving this fucking thing and you're shifting your own gear right that guy's having a good-ass time and

Someone can come along take that away and say no no no you have to get in the autonomous tube now because safety Safety's important says poor fucking dude who looked forward to his drive to work He had a 20-minute drive to work, but during that 20 minutes, he listened to all the music he wanted to listen to. He listened to whatever the fuck he wanted. Right. And then he pulled into that and pulled into that fucking parking spot, shut his car off. Right. Now he's got to go to work. But he knows that in eight hours, he'll be free and fire that car up again.

Right. Shift his own gears. You look forward to it. Drive home, listen to the best tunes, call your friends. Woo! Right. You're going to take that away from him? You're going to take that part away?

A person who really understands the fun of cars? What about an attack? An attack? What kind of attack? Like the ability to escape? No no you think about you pull out your debit card right and all of a sudden no one's debit card works oh yeah right what's gonna stop that from happening what do you do with no money because there's only three percent that's real cash that's real like palpable so everybody wanted all the paper for all the money they have in the bank we would never be able to

do it if if everybody's debit card stopped working it would fucking how much cash is there out there right i have no idea like how much cash is there out there now in comparison to the 80s when there was only cash? It's probably the same amount. But most people use credit cards now, right? Like way more. Yeah, but think about if we had an enemy that wanted to say, or even our own government, Or even our own government that's just like all technology monetary wise is cut off. Yeah, they just killed the system. They just stopped it all.

No more banks. No more banking. No more ATMs. What are you going to do? You don't have any money. Nobody has any money. You can't buy food. You can't buy anything.

So you have to steal and then everything. All your money is locked up. How much U.S. currency is in circulation? About $2 trillion. As of July 8, 2020, $1.3 trillion. Look, how much is out there? How much money is out there? How do we differentiate what is like digital money right and what is actual money good point there's 1.3 trillion accounted for but how much of it is an actual

paper cash right yeah yeah and what is paper cash even worth depends on where you're at right some people don't even want it some restaurants like are like, no, we don't take cash. They're like, whoa. You do the... Yeah. It's a thing, they flip it around. It says, according to the CIA, the total amount of broad money is $80 trillion.

Whoa. Currently. And cash was... 1.2 trillion. So 1.9 trillion So 1.9 trillion is actual cash And all the rest of it is just bullshit It's bullshit It's fucking ethereal

It's fucking It's fucking nowhere It doesn't exist Imagine Imagine We're at war with a country. Imagine. And then they have the best hackers or whatever.

This is all hypothetical. But you go to swipe your card and it doesn't work. And then everybody in America goes to swipe their card. And it doesn't work. It doesn't work. And then you find out the goblin lead singer of that band was a real goblin. It's fucking NecroGoblin right there.

It's a real goblin! And he's eating people the same way that centipede eats mice. Gets right in the back of their head and climbs into their fucking skull. That's a terrible video. I know, it's a horrible video. It's pretty brutal. It is so brutal, and that's what's normal. That's a terrible video. I know, it's a horrible video. It's pretty brutal. It is so brutal, and that's what's normal. That's normal out there. We've figured out a way to wall it off.

That's what it is. All day long, it's things eating things. It's fucking chaos. Yeah. Things eat things, that's true. The ocean is one giant murder soup. That's all it is. Just monster murder soup. A bunch of fucking is. Just monster murder soup. A bunch of fucking things killing each other.

How do you feel about whales? I love them. They're huge. I've been around them. I've never seen one in my whole life. You should go to Hawaii. I think it's around, I want to say it's around November-ish. Find out when the whales go near.

I've seen them near the big island on a one of them cruises they take you out i've seen them a couple times accidentally while fishing from maui but i've seen them on the big island when you go out on a boat ride humpback whale season in the hawaiian islands yeah between november and early may but some months are better than others so it's cool man so you're in this boat and then as you're out there you just see one break the surface and then they you know lean towards that area they go to and, you just see one break the surface. And then they lean towards that area. And sometimes you see them swim under the boat. It's incredible.

They're so big, man. They don't even seem real. They're the biggest creatures on the planet. Yeah. Currently. Yeah, they're the biggest creatures. Blue whales are, right? They're the biggest?

I saw something that said ever. Sperm whales, maybe? Blue whale, biggest thing ever. Ever? I don't know. Wow. They're so big, dude. I mean, you see different ones.

That's a fucking dinosaur. How long have they been around? Like, they didn't get killed by the Yucatan blast, right? Aren't they something that's millions of years old? Maybe not that many million. Maybe that's what it is. Like, when you think about dolphins and how fucking intelligent they are, how long have they been around? Here we go. 173 tons oh my god oh my fucking god 29.9 meters which is 100 feet long it's basically

100 feet long and weighed 173 tons known to have ever existed oh my my God. It weighs, an adult weighs 330,000 pounds. And they live 90 fucking years. They live 90 years. And they're smart. That's what's weird. We don't, you know,

they take care of the young. They're smart. There's some weird mammal. But then there's orcas, which are their, like, orcas are their cousins to dolphins. That's the we love right we love killer whales but they murder dolphins they murder whales they murder they're the murderers of the ocean they're the killer whales yeah but they

call them killer whales they're not a they're not a whale they're a dolphin they call orcas are dolphins yeah they call them killer whales cuz they kill whales So do they say so rude sex for fun? I don't know if that's a good question Just dolphins do dolphins do that's a really good question. Let's find out. Yeah, do orcas have recreational sex Casual or sex workers have casual sex sex for fun, you probably get a better article. You get someone who's got a sense of humor. Google do orcas fuck for fun.

You'll get the best article. Got anything? It gets weirder. I've got to get a better search here. It's not giving me good results. I wonder how much they know about them. I don't think they know about them the same way they know about dolphins. There's not a lot of them.

There's not as many as there used to be, that's for sure. There's a real worry about the ones that are in the Pacific Northwest. There's a pod around the Seattle area, I think, that for whatever reason doesn't want to eat anything other than chinook salmon i think it's chinook salmon and they're running out of salmon there's not as many salmon anymore so these things are starving and so they're trying to reintroduce like the idea of getting them to eat like uh seals or sea lions things like that because other killer whales eat them all the time so you have this native pod of killer whales that's really struggling, and then you have these pods that are travelers. They travel into the neighborhood, and they just fuck everything up.

They eat all the seals. They eat whatever they want. They eat mammals. They eat fish. They eat whatever they want, and then they take off. So they're only there for a little while, but there's one pod, for whatever reason, just wants salmon. How many is in the pod? I don't know how many.

They're having a hard time keeping them active. They're even thinking about releasing extra salmon into the water They've had a bunch of like weird ideas of how to how to save them how many? Jamie's Google It's got it says there's a lot of animals that have sex not for fun reproduction Yeah, for sure chimps do but it says they all work is also masturbate which I found this Animals do too. How I don't know just says they do stuff when reproduction isn't their only... On a rock?

This is just fuck a crab. They call it masturbation. It's crab rape. Jesus Christ. Oh my God. Imagine a killer whale's horn. He's just rubbing up against you. You're like, just finish.

Please. A killer whale? Just go ahead. They get high with puffer fish, right? Dolphins do? Don't they like pass them around? Yeah, dolphins do. What?

There's stories of killer whales rescuing people when they fall off boats, which is really crazy. People have actually said killer whales have actually helped them. It's weird. Because they kill people in captivity, but only probably because they're tortured. They're living in a fucking swimming pool, a giant majestic ocean animal trapped in a prison for no reason didn't do

anything wrong eventually they just start killing their trainers they just get pissed off man man holy shit you guys are putting me on. You say they... They get high. They use a toxic puffer fish. That's fucking crazy. They take a little toot and they pass it around. The dolphins' expert deliberate handling of the terrorized puffer fish

implies that this is not their first time at the hallucinogenic rodeo. Like a volcano bag. What if a human smoked... It's a volcano bag, it is! What if a human smoked it's a volcano bag it is what if a human smoked pufferfish oh you'd probably be dead in a second what's it like i don't know but we don't have a face like that i would imagine a lot of shit a dolphin could do that you can't swim it's got more poisonous wow 1200 times wow more poisonous than cyanide. Enough toxin in one puffer fish to kill 30 adult humans.

And there is no known antidote. Jesus Christ. Meanwhile. Only resulting in mutilation. Dolphins are like, I'm just here to get high. I got this. You pussies don't know what you're doing. How does that work?

I don't know. I never knew that. You know what's weird is how does that work i don't know i never knew that you know what's weird is that people want to eat them like uh they're like a prized sushi meat because it's like it's it's exciting you're eating something that the chef fucks this up you're dolphins or puffer fish puffer fish i don't think dolphins there's no dolphin sushi is there i don't know there has to be something. I like warm fish. Warm fish?

Yeah. Like cooked? Yeah. Baked? Yeah. Yeah, I hear you. You're not a sushi guy? Yeah.

Fugu, that's it right there. No shit. Yeah, so that is a, it's a delicacy for whatever reason. People like the idea of eating something that might fucking kill them. And it has to be expertly- Top ten most dangerous foods. Served in paper-thin slices by expert chefs, the fugu combines luxury with high-stakes gamble. The intestines, ovaries, and liver of fugu or blowfish contains a poison called tetrodotoxin, which is 1,200 times deadlier than cyanide.

This toxin is so potent that a lethal dose is smaller than the head of a pin. A lethal dose. Smaller than the head of a pin. And a single fish is enough poison to kill 30 people because of the high risk. Chefs must undergo two to three years of training to obtain a fugu preparing license. And such expertise raises the price of fugu dishes up to $200. What? That's kind of cheap.

It's really cheap. I think you might die. Yeah. They consume 10,000 tons of fugu fish every year. Oh, my God, they're so ballsy. That's a warrior culture right there. Fucking fugu fish. Should we try it?

No. I'll try it. Bro, I don't want to be there when you die. I clicked one. I wanted to see what other foods were first. The first food they listed. Hot dogs? Hot dogs?

Hot dogs are more dangerous than fugu fish? It says people choke on them. Oh, please. Oh, my God. 70% of food-related asphyxiations in those younger than 10 are caused from hot dogs. What? Okay, well, I understand if it's little kids. I understand little kids and the parents don't know how to do the Heimlich.

But there's a certain age where you're on your own if you choke to death on a hot dog. There's a certain age. Like, hey, man. Do you know how to give yourself a Heimlich? Because I don't. You've got to throw yourself on the edge of a chair. Oh, Jesus Christ.

I don't know if it will work, but that's what you've got to do. What is it? Find a chair and, like like throw your body on it. Pump your food out. Chuck the food out of your mouth. You don't just like Hmm. Maybe.

Yeah, just kind of like They could. Maybe. Like in an upwards in an upwards motion. You get behind someone and you force it. Right?

You force the air out. So what the fuck do you do? Do you have to get them bending forward? You do, right? So that the food, when it pops out, doesn't fall right back in their hole. Right? Actually, it says self-hymics. It should be a fist. Yeah, punch

yourself right in an upward motion. I'll show you. Wow. It says do both. Do the chairs the best way you can. Yeah, the chairs are good. Okay, so this guy slammed his hand. Oh, it's like a gable grip. Like you're trying to take someone down. Slam it into your...

Okay. So right where your solar plexus is. You've got to be careful. But what kind of chair? There's so many different kinds of chairs. Well, hey, if you're choking, you've got to find the closest one, I think. I heard that people break ribs doing this all the time. It makes sense. And then CPR, people break ribs doing this all the time. Makes sense.

And then CPR, people break ribs doing that, too. Makes sense. You're pushing on the ribs, trying to get someone to breathe. Trying to get that food out of their stomach, that fucking hot dog. What if the chair's like a throne, like a cool vampire throne, and it's sharp on the top? Then you're gonna impale yourself. Yeah, don't do that. That's when sharp on the top then you're gonna impale yourself yeah don't do that that's when you do the don't do the heimlich when you're near a vampire throne it's fucking life lessons here yeah you ever see that gary oldman dracula movie dude that's that's a classic with winona

rider and keanu Reeves. You ever see that? Before we got too far, a picture of Henry Heimlich, the guy who invented it, popped up. No shit. He came up with it in 1974 when it was promoted. So what the fuck did people do before that? Died. They only had been doing it for like 50 years. Stabbed themselves with a fucking vampire throne.

That's crazy. Wow. I'm sure That's crazy. Wow. I'm sure there was something, but like... Wow. The Self-Heimlich Maneuver. Maneuver. Excuse me. A poem by Fred Payton.

So there it is. Heimlich Maneuver to Dessau. Heimlich recommended standing behind the person, wrapping arms around... What is that? Nine? What is that? Around nine clasping hands what does

that mean that's the and sign oh and oh and clasping hands onto i never know what that sign is called i know what it is i know it's and i know it's ampersand once you said it spell it but if you but if you said to me what is that thing called before you just said that i'd be like oh what the fuck that thing's called yeah i don't know how you would do it yourself. You would lean forward, I guess, and just slam it in. And how do you figure that out? You don't want to die. Do you just, like, choke yourself with, like, just eat steak and then all the time?

Purposely choke yourself. Yeah. And then, like, well, fuck, it's got to work. I think someone probably did it one time. And then the other went, ah. The other people went, that's what we do. Write that down. But Heimlich, I didn't.

You said 1972? 74. 74. Jesus Christ. I figured that would have been around for years. Yeah, right. Hundreds of years. People just thought demons were taking you when you're choking on food.

Demons! They put them in the fucking witch jail. Demons taking my Billy. The witch jail. Demons! Possessed grasshoppers. My little Billy was a good boy, and the demons came, and they took him while he was eating hot dogs. 17%.

He was fine. Hot dogs is the most dangerous food? That's crazy. More than fugu. That's how much better Japanese people are at being humans than Americans. We die from hot dogs. They don't even die from this fucking super toxic thing where one drop, the head of a pin could kill a whole human

being they don't even dry that doesn't measure out to me though by the way enough there's enough poison right in a puffer fish to kill 30 humans right but one pin drop is a lethal dose yeah they have a very small amount of poison i guess The policy before this was slapping somebody on the back. Oh, my God. And it took until, like, 1970 when this guy was, like, researching this and found out that it actually pushed the food further back down, so the Red Cross had to have, like, a do not allow anyone to slap you on your back if you're choking

and try to dislodge food. Oh, my God. And then, like, he said he read an article, Dr. Heimlich, about people dying it was the sixth most leading cause of death so he's like holy shit what a wizard he is it makes sense with hot dogs though because you you get to bite off those chunks you know like it's so easy to bite off and if you're a glutton or if you just make a mistake and you just bite off too big a piece and you think you're all

right and you're like what's the fucking solution there though i'm like maneuver vampire throne obviously bro when you look at how many people died from choking ever it was a lot that's why he was looking it up it was like in one year 6,000 people died you never hear about it unless it was someone famous like Kennedy's sister-in-law or someone died of choking on meat oh really? wow I think I've only been in one dire choking situation

what happened? I was at dinner with my family at our house and I took a bite of steak, and it just clogged me up. Fuck. My uncle gave me the Heimlich maneuver.

Shout out to, what's his name? Heimlich. Henry Heimlich. Shout out to old Henry. Henry Heimlich, yeah. Thanks, Henry. Have you ever been in a dire choking situation? No, not really.

I've definitely been choking at points. Like I've had something like that. But I either threw it up or something. Never where I thought this was it. I'm going to die. I had. It's terrifying. I can only imagine.

You've been there. Scary shit. imagine enjoying a delicious Piece of steak and then you're like Well fuck It took a turn And now I'm dying And you could die if people around you don't know what the fuck to do You could die

Henry Heimlich Saved us all You can't be timid with that heimlich maneuver either you gotta really get after yeah you gotta get after it because you might not have that much time how many of those you get heimlichs how many times can you force it you know i mean you could break someone's fucking ribs too you have to think about that yeah if you're doing like to an old lady and she's choking on something you might kill her doing that yeah oh imagine your nana she spits out the meat but you killed her by giving her the heimlich fuck that's an insane situation fuck

that has to happen has to have happened. How long can a human hold their breath? Minutes. Those free divers, they can do like seven minutes, I think. That's a lie. No, no, no. They can do it. Seven minutes? Yeah, people have done more than that, but they've done it with like weird oxygen assist things.

Criss Angel? Not Criss Angel, but David Blaine. He did some crazy number of minutes, but he did something to himself first, right? It wasn't just, do you Blaine he did some crazy number of minutes but he did something to himself first right it wasn't just what do you know what he did Jamie when we were doing the podcast that day I was trying to look into it he I believe he just over oxygenated

oxygenated his body somehow or another I believe yeah by just breathing it in and then not moving at all so he didn't use any of it but he did like 17 minutes or something like that. Yeah, something bonkers like that. No shit. 17 minutes is like almost a TV show.

Yeah, that's an episode of Modern Family. Yes. I think it's 22 minutes from Modern Family. Yeah, because of ads. That's nuts. That's a long fucking time to hold your breath so how do you over oxygen oh that's a good question wait what he doesn't he has a ted talk about i'm sure he probably explained a lot of it but he had to get his heart rate down he did it once and it didn't work and

he panicked they had to go and save him oh jesus whole thing because it wasn't easy to get in there towards the thing he did it but he did it. There's just something about a dude like him that's willing to do shit that you would be like, wait, why are you even doing this? How can you do it, and why are you doing this? Remember when he was encased in ice? Mm-mm. Yeah. He was encased in ice for a long-ass time. It's a good angle.

How long was he encased in ice for? I want to say more than 24 hours. I think it was a long time because there was one thing he did in New York City where people could come up and see him.

He was in a like a water tank. for the ice. What? What? 71? What's in the box? What's in the box?

Grab me one of those motherfuckers too. What are they? Oh, here. Thanks, those motherfuckers, too. What are they? Oh, here. Thanks, Dad. Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. My pleasure.

What's in the box? No, no, no. No! How did he do it? 70-plus hours in frozen ice. Yep. So this is them taking him out? Is this the end?

This is getting ready for it. They're rescuing him? Oh, shut the fuck up. He lived in that for 72 hours. Lenny Kravitz? Lenny Kravitz is like, how is he doing this? I need to be there. That's how badass it is when you can just stand still for 72 hours.

Lenny Kravitz comes to visit you. Lenny Kravitz is like, yo, this guy's fucking crazy. I love it. Lenny Kravitz lives on a farm in Brazil, and he finds out that you're doing some crazy shit in ice, and he shows up. Like, I need to see this. I need to be there live. He stood on top of a pole for a really long time.

Of course he did. You know, I've seen something like this before i don't know if it was david blaine but monks do it and they have a way to like slow down their metabolism so they can be up there for weeks and not eat and not drink anything what does it say about 34 hours he stood up there for 34 hours before jumping down oh shut the fuck up he stood on that pole like that for 34 hours? Uh-huh. 80 feet. Oh, my God.

I don't like this. You seen him eat glass? Ah. It's pretty. That's so weird. That's such a weird thing to do. Eat glass or stand on a pole? All those things.

Eat glass, stand up there. Eat glass or stand on a pole. All those things. Eat glass, stand up there, be inside ice. He's up there on that pole covered in ice eating glass for three years. That's a different kind of person, right? The art in that is that we know it's really hard to do and there's no way to fake it. Right. No, it's like, it's not like illusion.

No. It's like mental fucking fortitude. Yeah. So he does illusions too, right? Right. He's a real magician. Right. Magician.

But also can do that. Like, that's just a mind. That's just, that's a different kind of mind. Yeah. Stand there for 34 hours on a pole. He'd probably be a good fighter. Probably be a main fighter. He would never tap out.

Have you seen this one where he puts a frog, in his belly and spits it back out alive. Did they x-ray him? Is that an x-ray? He has all the frogs? This is a picture for a thumbnail. It's clickbait. I don't think you can really take that picture. Is that the sun?

Oh, my God. Imagine if they did it. We've got to x-ray the frogs first. Okay, okay. I'll let them out in a couple minutes. First, they do the x-ray. See, nothing but frogs. No organs.

It's just frogs. That's such a bad x-ray. It just has to look remotely real. So your x-rays came back. How come the frogs are so clear but you don't see anything else? Oh, it's so stupid. It's so stupid. It's so stupid. You ever shot the boring company flamethrower?

Yeah, yeah, we brand out of juice. It doesn't have any juice anymore. We've got to refill the, what is it? Propane? I think it's just propane. Yeah, we've got to refill the propane. Oh, man, they've got a fucking rhino at the fucking gas station. They've got it everywhere.

I've just got to get it. Hook that fucker up to a fucking tank. I know, right? fucking rhino at the fucking gas station everywhere i just gotta get it hook that fucker up to a fucking tank i know right yeah we just gotta hook it up but the thing is like it's the perfect amount of propane because it's not very big you know you see the tank's very small so elon probably blew half of it out just showing it to me he's crazy are you right out there in the hallway just blowing this fire fuck yeah this flamethrower in the middle of the hallway I'm like

bro hi that's how I met him I met him he comes in comes in with a flamethrower legitimately he's the sweetest guy

very very nice guy sweetest guy yeah hurts me to the core that him and Johnny Depp want to duke it out what's the sweetest guy. Very, very nice guy. Sweetest guy. Yeah. Hurts me to the core that him and Johnny Depp want to duke it out. What's the beef? They're both nice guys. There's a beef. There was a woman involved.

You know how it is. Oh. The Amber Heard, Johnny's ex-wife, was involved with Elon apparently at one point in time. So they don't like each other. They would love each other if they knew each other. I'm out of the game. Yeah. Me too.

I live in Utah. I just. I'm telling you the game. Yeah, me too. I live in Utah. I just. I'm telling you. There he goes, pulls it up. Conor McGregor. Conor McGregor's coach offers to train Elon Musk to fight with Johnny Depp. And where did Conor McGregor come into this? Well, which one of his coaches is that?

Is it Kavanaugh? Because he has a bunch of coaches. It is Kavanaugh? Yeah, Kavanaugh tweeted. Of course he would. Kavanaugh's cool. I don't think they're going to fight, though. Is that a real thing?

No. It was a joke that Elon apparently said at one point in time, maybe I should have a cage fight with him, like LOL, you know, like that kind of thing. Because he was upset at him or something. You know, like that kind of thing. Yeah, and then it goes... He was upset at him or something. You know, that's how it goes. What are you gonna do? I don't know.

Everybody's fighting. Not everybody, but when those kind of fights happen, you're like, I see what happened here. This is not complicated math, you know. Two good guys. I'm so out of the loop. Gallon between. It's crazy, too.

Everybody's mad. Good. It's good to be out of the loop. I think it's really wise that you live out there. I really do. I agree. Because you're so wild. Like, for a dude like you, it's good to be in a place where you see nature.

And it's probably, in a way, it's balancing. And, like, there's something about the the utah mountains too like that's a real mountain range yeah you see that shit all the time when you drive around utah it's like it's very humbling it's incredible it's just like you're a fucking dot on the fucking entire globe, it's like natural art. Like when you see mountains, they're natural art. Like if you drive through the mountains, it's like you're seeing an art gallery. Like in nature, it's beautiful to look at. And it's free.

Yeah. It does something to you. Like it excites you in a weird way. Like when you can see a waterfall coming off the side of a mountain and everything's lush and green. You see it go into a flowing river. Man, that does a thing to your body. It a thing to your brain it lights everything up and that's the best especially for making music oh that makes sense especially for making music because it's just like without sounding corny it's like you you feel like you're a part of something bigger, but you're so insignificant. And then you can just say, I accept everything around me.

Yeah. And I'm relaxed and I'm at peace. You know, knowing that you're just the world spinning around you and everything happens for a reason. And you can just sit there 100% peace, at ease, and say, I don't have to worry. You know, like I said earlier, L.A., always something going on. Yeah. I couldn't do it. So, yeah, there's and it definitely affected my creative process for sure.

What do you mean? Like going out? Yeah. Yeah. There's always someone hitting you up. And, you know, I don't want to speak on behalf of everyone in L.A. or from L.A., but there's a lot of people who kind of want to drain you. And. Well, you know what it is, man?

It's not that they want to drain you. What it is, is they're're greedy they're concentrating on themselves and when they're concentrating on you know they're trying to make it they're trying to get something happening right and they're ambitious and they're self-centered in that way and i don't mean that as a pejorative it's a negative thing just they're self-centered so they always want from you right and so they're draining like and when you're successful and you're successful and you're a guy who's got a lot going on they think there's a rub i gotta get i gotta get the post malone to get that rub right i gotta be able to somehow or another get what he's got hey man

hit me up hey hey i'm here hey hey let's do that thing right hey hey hey right hey hey hey let's go out hey hey i want you to meet my friend hey hey hey and you're like bro I gotta make music I'm good at one thing and that's using autotune to sing you gotta make that music I want you to hear some of the new shit I would love to I would love to what do you listen to? dude I listen to hear some of the new shit I think I would love to

I think you would I would love to What do you listen to? Dude I listen to a lot of shit I listen to most Like It varies I go on

Streaks Of listening to Like I'll get in a Gangstar streak I'll listen to a lot of Classic Like Run DMC For a while And then I'll go into like some old Zeppelin

and I'll get stuck on Zeppelin for months. And then I'll transfer over to some old Johnny Cash and I'll get into that for a while. And then I get into like, I'll get into a moody mode. I'll need some Sheryl Crow in my life. I'll listen to like, You're My Favorite Mistake. I'll get into that kind of music, man. And I get into all kinds of shit.

I go into these waves but most of the time if you had to come in here on a whim and say what kind of music's playing it's classic rock almost always it's always a rat zeppelin no no no no no no no no no no no no nothing wrong with that i'd like uh nothing wrong with that at all i like there's something about the 60s and the 70s there's something about the fact that these guys were breaking out of this mold the society yeah had carved for them when they were children and here they are as adults in the 1960s and they are just buck wild how heavy is sabbath very heavy for like just imagine uh like vinyl like vinyl sabbath like and just like here's this record

i just picked up from the store let's spin that fucker and hope my parents don't hear it i'm 25 by the way i can't you probably listened to sabbath on vinyl i well i wasn't i definitely have but i wasn't the biggest sabbath fan i liked a lot of shit that was embarrassing like i was really into kiss when it was embarrassing kiss is great i love kiss but when i was a kid it was a problem like other kids that found out you'd like kiss like what really oh yeah why. For whatever reason, KISS got a weird, there's a weird thing that happened with KISS. This is what's interesting. They didn't get any radio play.

A lot of people don't know this. But when I was a kid, KISS got no radio play. No radio play. I don't know if it was because of politics or people just decided they suck because they wear masks or makeup, rather. I don't know what it was. But for whatever reason, it was really hard to hear a Kiss song on the radio. And every now and then, you would hear, I want to rock and roll all night. And you'd be like, what?

It's on the radio? This is crazy. I want to rock and roll. You'd be in your car driving. That would come on. You'd be so excited because you were a Kiss fan. And Kiss didn't get any love. And then as we got older, I think people started missing it.

And then KISS made, like, reunion tours, and they came back and put the makeup on again, and people got excited. And then people that were, for whatever reason, not KISS fans in the past became KISS fans in the present. Right. But when I was in the 80s, fans in the present right but when i was in the 80s it was like a problem if you love kiss people would mock you in the 80s probably because

that's like fucking talica like yeah that was guns and roses too man you know that was um um i believe nirvana came out with never mind What was that? 89? 91? Was it 91? 90? Yeah that was around Those years you know And that just changed everything Like Eddie Bravo my friend Eddie He's always saying that's what killed hair bands

Nirvana killed hair bands It just came out it was so deep You're like Jesus Christ Like you couldn't listen. It was fucking heavy. Heavy. Heavy. Rape me?

Rape me. Heavy. Singing a song called Rape Me. Heavy. Holy shit. It's like, what do you even do? That song is so intense. It's like if you could take a person's emotions

and their soul and figure out how to transfer it into musical notes and sounds, that's what it sounded like. That's it. I mean, that's what it fucking is. It's like, fuck everything, and here's what I'm going to say. Like, here it is. I wish we could play this.

God damn, he was a bad motherfucker. Dave Grohl crushes it. All of them crush it. Kurt crushes it. That was cool doing the Nirvana thing. Did you watch my Nirvana thing? No, I didn't. What did you do with Nirvana?

We did a whole fundraiser. When was this? This was fucking two months ago. I'm out of the loop since COVID. Since COVID, there's a lot of shit I missed on. I missed Evil Superman. I missed everything. You missed Evil Superman.

You missed Bullied Superman. I did. I missed it all. Yeah, Bullied Superman. I did. I missed it all. Yeah, so we did a whole set. And it was cool to see Dave give his approval. And Travis Barker played drums. That's amazing. It was cool to see Chris.

Travis is the first guy to come in here with face tattoos. But you knocked it out of the park. Well, fuck, man. Is that a good thing? Travis is one of the sweetest motherfuckers in the world he's so cool he's like a genuinely cool guy yeah really interesting like intense like as good a drummer as he is you cannot be that good unless you got some fire inside of you yeah you know that dude's got fire inside of him but he's super cool yeah okay i mean but like to be that good and so fucking into it man he's that he's fucking got it he i mean

that's the same spirit it's just like it's a spirit it's just like fuck you i'm gonna play music yeah and this is how it's gonna be and he's a guy who likes old cars too he's i bet for the same reasons he's an artist yeah he doesn't have like a dope blazer like a really cool custom blazer i think yeah probably he's got a lot of one day i'll be that cool i'm working on it it's hard it's hard to get that cool it's tough it's it's hard travis barker's at a high level of cool because he's like a genuine human. There it is. Look at that thing.

God damn, that's sweet. Holy fuck. Look at that. That is clean. Who made that thing? It's hot. Travis Barker's K5 Blazer Custom SUV. Topless.

Topless. Show the titties. Who made that? We should probably. Oh, the light bar on top is gangster. Oh, dude, that's a sick car. Yeah, that's. It's got taste.

It's got taste. Does it say the people who built it? Well. You're going to have to Google it, kid. What is it? Delmo Speed and Custom. in Burbank, California. Yeah, that's a pretty beast. Car shops are considered,

they're supposed to be essential businesses. You're allowed to still work on cars. I hope so. Yeah, but that's one of the weirdest things about this pandemic is what's essential and what's not essential. Like... It is.

Who gets to decide? Exactly. Exactly. Is there a vote? Who gets to decide? It's a strange amount of power. Because it's not you and it's not me.

No. It's a strange amount of power. And what's not you and it's not me. No. It's a strange amount of power. And what's allowed to be open, what's not. Like they had bars were open, but then they wouldn't let comedy clubs open. Like that's an entertainment venue. But then so is the Staples Center. Like they're very different things. Yeah.

You know, one of them can have 30 people in it. Right. You know, it's like who gets to decide your restaurant can it open because it's outside and there's no way in hell you could figure out how to keep people apart inside you just did you did it for a while right like who's making the rules yeah that's the whole that's the i whenever i touched down my my my friend was like yeah, all the restaurants just put some chairs and tables on the outside. Yeah, that's what most of them did. They're very smart.

They adapted. A lot of them that could do that did that. But a lot of, most of them went under. I think it's more than 50% went under. What if you're addicted to partying? Then a nightclub is an essential business. Good point. What do people who are addicted to partying, then a nightclub is an essential business. Good point. What do people who are addicted to partying do?

What have they been doing besides partying? Who's at the side? Unregulated parties at home, and that gives people coronavirus. Don't they? You always see that story. Here's a story you never see. Bunch of guys got together. All of them got tested.

No one had coronavirus. They partied. They had a great time. Nobody got hurt. You you don't see that story you know who's doing that story right now dave chapelle what dave chapelle's doing is testing everybody flying everybody out to ohio putting on these great shows he has music he has comedy he has a good fucking time and he does it outdoors. Yeah, that's what he's doing How's that like it's got a venue. It's a wedding chapel Wow So he's doing it on this stage that people get married on so it's like a stage like with the fucking poles and right Steps to get up. See that's the whole shit. That's for day. He wants to do a show. He figured it out He wants to do a show he needs to do a show that's an essential that's an essential thing for him it's essential for people too because it's a it's another thing

that makes people feel good it makes them feel good like they're uh they're doing an investigation of the chain smokers like the state's involved in this investigation because they did essentially a car show where they did they were on stage and there was like 600 cars in the audience and they did their show to people in parked cars like what the fuck is wrong with that why is that bad no i don't see a lot of cars oh jesus no they were all standing around oh so it's supposed to be in cars and people just said fuck it. Let's get out of the cars and stand But it play that play that let me see what that is. Oh Jesus Christ, this is a DJ only a two-second video, so

It depends now it depends on intent I think Bro, that's a concert. It depends on intent. Well, are there cars there? Was it a drive-in concert? What does it say? The crowd was estimated at 2,000 for the concert at Watermill. Ticket prices ranged from $850 to Uber VIP options for $25,000 that accommodated RVs. All profits were earmarked for charity. That's nice. The state of New York is now probing the concert.

Are they probing looting, too, or just the concert? Did they have a... Are they probing what happened in Soho, or just... I have this story, too, I saw recently. I just want to know. I'm asking for a friend. 700-person Airbnb mansion party in New Jersey. Yeah, there's flyers going around on Twitter for it.

Oh, my God. A $1,000 prize for a twerk contest. Well, it's hard to twerk, but they're saying that's, like, you know, a super spreader party or whatever. Of course. Yeah. Well, I got those fuckers that say, oh, Post Malone's here at this nightclub, and I'm not even in town. Yeah, that's crazy right Shit like that

Yeah and people don't get their money back Right People pile into the club It's so weird now I'm still curious about that The Chainsmokers deal Was it a drive in concert Supposedly they sold cars.

They sold cars. 600 cars. But that's not on them. If the people got out of the cars. Right. That's the thing. Like, was it... Are you supposed to enforce that? Here's the thing.

If they only had it set up as a concert without any enforcement whatsoever on how close people stood to each other. Right. Whose responsibility is it if people get out and just start talking? Right. This is, I guess this is what the promoter either said. I don't know if they actually talked to them, but this is what they were supposed to have

done or did do. There were temperature checks upon entry. No, he said, noted that concert goers went through a temperature check upon entry was not good enough really offered hand sanitizer hey jerk off with this once parked and had restrooms that were disinfected every 10 minutes oh awesome well nine minutes he's giving people cooties and then on the 10th, some dude comes in and hoses it down. Told BuzzFeed there were dividers separating individual parties in the pit area and that guests were also instructed they would not be allowed to leave their designed. Wow, they misspelled.

Must be designated, yeah. Designated. But it's designed for any reason other than to use the restroom. But obviously that's not really what's happening. But wait, what? If it's a drive-in show, why is there a pit? Right. And also that the dividers between people, that's horseshit.

Fucking the air doesn't give a shit if there's like a little piece of cardboard here between you and the people next to you. Your spit goes through the air and it gets to them. If you got it, they got it. I know. And I don't think it has to do with the boys in the group. I think it has to do with someone else. What do you think it has to do with? Because I know the boys in the group.

Sweet guys. I don't think it's their idea. Yeah, that's exactly what I think. I think the total, like, it was a shit show that just got out of fucking hand. Also, here's the other thing. If you get a bunch of people in their cars drinking, and they're all able to open the door and just socialize, they're going to do it. And plus, before that, they're tailgating. Right.

So people are tailgating before the show. So they're cooking burgers, having a good time, having drinks with each other. And then the show starts. They're going to get out of their car and mingle with each other. They made new friends. You just pull up really close. Just touch mirrors. I mean, there is a car, at least.

Oh, that's a car. Dude, what's the problem? This article said that people over there said that it was safe. They swear it was safe. It was safe. The other video looked insane. Well, listen, it seems safe if you get away with it and nothing happens. If you get away with it and nothing happens, like, oh, my God, it was so safe.

Trust me, it was so safe. You get a COVID test and they find you don't have it after you go to that concert. You go, listen, it was so safe. It was the safest. It was not safe. No one even could see it. You don't have it after you go to that concert. You go, listen, it was so safe. It was the safest. It was not safe. No one even could see it. You don't know if someone has it. I told you my friend Jack Carr got it.

Did a fucking book signing. He caught it for a day. A day? Yeah, he kicked it quick. He kicked it in a day? Yeah, he said it felt like shit for one day. Some people, that's weird, man. No shit.

My friend Michael Yeo, that's weird man oh my friend michael yo that's what happened to his mom michael yo was in the hospital for a long time man for like weeks and his mom got sick for a day one day right then she kicked it it's a weird virus dude it's weird even coming in here getting pricked and you nervous. Yeah, fuck. Yeah. I mean you're nervous before anything, right? Yeah for sure That one's a nervous one like shit But I don't I made it nice to know Scary fucking disease man. I don't know man. It's so weird. It's a scary fucking disease, man. I don't know, man. It's so weird.

It's such a bizarre time. Here's why it's scary. It's scary in what it's done, no matter what. Even if you're not scared of getting it. Yeah. Even if you think, oh, if I get it, it's just going to make me sick for a few days. I'll kick its ass. Even if that's true, it's scary for what it's done to the economy.

It's scary for what it's done to civilization. Honestly, it's terrifying. what it's done to civilization it's in it honestly it's terrifying and i saw uh a sign you can get a fine for not wearing a mask yeah and sometimes it's up to 600 fucking bucks yep yeah it's crazy they're arresting people for keeping gyms open i've seen that the same people that didn't arrest the looters i think is it the exact same people that didn't arrest the looters, I think. Is it the exact same people? Yes. Arresting people for opening gyms. There's going to come a certain amount of time.

I don't know what that time is. But here we are in August. It's basically August. Right. And everything's still closed. How long are we going to do this for? Are we going to stay closed for a year are we going to stay closed for two years

what's going to be left nothing it's a complicated question because you don't want people to die and you don't want people to have diseases and get sick everybody has to live their life everybody has to survive

and be able to pay their fucking bills and eat. Yeah, exactly. So when does that call get made? That's what's complicated about it. And that's what no one from either side. This is like one of the most truly human problems we've ever faced. Because no one really knows what the right thing to do is. There'll be a lot of armchair quarterbacking after it's over where people who, you know, people die.

People look back on it and say they should have done this they should have done that well that's great and maybe maybe some people had a better idea of how to handle it but it's just guessing right now it's just guessing yeah it's fucking weird dude it's weird to me that there is a it's like me in school having to fucking tuck in my shirt or else you get detention or whatever it's weird to be forced to wear something right so that's what you feel about the mask i see what you're saying yeah but you know that it does work right that's what's weird about it if you wear a good mask it actually does what you're saying. Yeah. But you know that it does work, right? That's what's weird about it. If you wear a good mask, it actually does prevent a lot of transmission.

Apparently, that's all Japan. Why did I say it that way? Japan. That's all Japan. I was in the middle of saying Japan. I stumbled through it some weird way. Necro-gobble-a-cock. Words are hard.

Sorry. Japan, they didn't shut their economy down. They just wore masks. Well, I mean, that's, yeah. They didn't suffer that many deaths either. It's really weird. I wonder, I would like to see like a documentary on how Japan managed COVID-19 because they did an insane job. Maybe as good a job as anybody.

Yeah. I think there's only a thousand deaths in all of Japan. Kyle Kalinske was telling me about this. He sent me some article. If you can't find it, I'll send you the article. But it's pretty crazy. It's all in how they never shut the economy down. They just all wore masks.

Everybody followed the rules. Yeah. And they contained it. That's the... And that's... And that... No. I mean, at the end of the day,

it all comes down to respect for other people. Sure. Right. That's what a mask is for, right? Right. It's not,

it's not, it's not a government thing. It's not like, you shouldn't, you shouldn't be forced to wear a mask, but you should. Wear a mask, but you should. Wear a mask. Right.

Yes. Yeah, you should wear a mask because you're a good person. Right. And that's because I respect you as a fellow human. Yeah. It has nothing to do with being. $600? That's what it cost?

That some places it's $600. I saw, what is it in beverly hills right now what's the fine for losing i saw it did they have a fine 300 no fine no fine for looting 300 bucks for not wearing a mask in beverly hills you definitely should wear a mask just so people feel better for now i mean we got to get through this together no yeah and that's but i don't know about fining people for it and the other thing was snitching. They were paying people to snitch on people who weren't social distancing. That was the mayor, mayor of Los Angeles. They were like, ordinarily snitches get stitches, but now snitches get rewards.

They were literally giving people money or advertising. I don't know if they ever gave any money out. Advertising, they would give away rewards for people who turn in people who are not social distancing. It's like they never... Why not just say something to the guy? Hey, why not just say, hey, put your mask on, bub.

No, that's too complicated. You're asking too much. But then you have to... How long is the rebate? Is it like you have to mail in like that's a good question i know right what if they still haven't got paid yet they feel like a fucking terrible person like bro i turned you in i need the money to pay my rent meanwhile months later but the money still hasn't come if you la is rough and know. I slept in a closet. $300. Jesus.

Because maybe someone sees you eating and you don't have a mask on, and then you are stuck with a fucking ticket. Yeah. It blows my mind. It's weird. It's all about fucking the responsibility and your your character really. If you snitch and they don't pay you, what do you do? Who's gonna

wanna hear you whine? If you snitch like, hey, I turned in with this family next door they were having a picnic and I never got my reward. I don't even know how that works. How about lost dogs? Do they ever pay the cash amount that they say?

They want them. They never find them. Lost dogs in L.A. Jesus Christ, that's dark. They're coyote food most of the time in L.A. Jesus Christ, that's dark. When I drive through my neighborhood and I see like a poodle on a sign, I just make the sign of the cross.

That's it, baby. You don't even try. You don't even see it and you're like poodles gone gotta keep my eyes peeled you don't understand how many coyotes are on my neighborhood i've lost 19 chickens i lost 19 chickens in my neighborhood i'll hear coyotes fucking rough dude we lost them one at a time these motherfuckers and then the the last i guess we had like 11 of them left after the fire, after the big fires out here. They burned down the chicken coop, but they were still alive. And there was like, I think, 11 of them left.

We put them in a smaller chicken coop while we had the other one reconstructed. And one day the coyotes got to it, just destroyed it, tore open the chicken coop and ate all the chickens. Through the wire? Yeah, they pulled the wire off. They pulled the wood off of it. They're predators, man. Yeah. They're real smart.

They're devious little cunts. Utah, they don't pay you out here. For dead ones? You get 50 bucks an ear in Utah. That's worth it. The thing is, you can't kill them. When you kill them, it has the opposite effect. What happens with coyotes is they do that roll call where they yell out, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right. Well, when one stops responding, like when one's missing. Everybody's checking it out. No, the one, the females start growing more eggs. No shit. Yeah, so they have more babies. So when female coyotes are in, what is it, a clan, a pack? When female coyotes are in a pack and a coyote goes missing, all of the females generate more children.

So if they would normally have like three kids, now they have six. So it's like unlimited money. Well, as long as you have to kill them all. You have to kill them all. Because as long as you persecute them What they do is they make more babies and they spread out and they're really smart. They're in every fucking city in this country Right now. Yeah, they're weird There we got a big cat in my house. How big big really? Yeah, how big big?

Mountain lion. Yeah 150. How big is he bigger bigger? those Utah cats are big because there's so many deer up there big fucker and he always comes and hangs out oh jesus same cat fuck him big don't you want to shoot him right in the fucking dick i'm not uh no i'm hanging around your house if i see if i see if i see the ears go back, that's when I'll shoot it. They eat dogs. Yeah, that's what I'm... It's mostly what they do.

Yeah. They find dogs and shit, things that are easy to eat. They're so creepy. Well, that's the same. I had a... I still do. He stays with my parents right now, but I had a micro French bulldog. Ooh.

Snack. For coyotes, especially out here here whenever i lived out here he would go out back and yeah we heard him all night and it's it's it's scary stuff man they're a wild a weird wild animal it's a small wolf that lives with people. And they're just slippery enough and small enough. We're not worried about them. Just small enough. Right. Like, if there was wolves on the street everywhere, we'd be fucking terrified.

It would be like Little Red Riding Hood and shit. Because we would know they're going to kill your kids. Wolves will kill your kids. Right. Coyotes are just small enough that we're like, I don't think it's going to kill the kids. I think we'll be okay. Right. You let these fucking dirty twats live in your neighborhood.

You get like fucking three of them. Killing your cats. Come on. It's fucking insane. Killing dogs. Well, that's, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Never mind. I'm not going to say that because the-

They're creepy. The commission will come after me. I'm not saying anything. Anyway. If I see those ears, go back. Yeah, well, that's self-defense, though. Yeah, that's it. They did a study of cats in Northern California, like outside of San Francisco.

They captured or killed some of these mountain lions. And they did a stomach content thing of the troubled cats. They would cause problems, eat people's cats and dogs and shit they found out that 50 percent of their diet was house pets there's most of these mountain lions out there just eating dogs yeah that's a that that's half their diet man missing dogs we think about all the people out here just if you had an aerial view of people and how these people have dogs thousands and thousands of dogs and these cats just stealing them out of backyards yeah just jumping in stealing them out of backyards you never know

it happens and people don't know and they don't know what to do they call their friends they put up that poster we're just trying to get fluffy back the photos cash reward we miss them if you find them we have money we have money i just go he's they ate him we're surrounded by these creepy predators mountain lions no one ever sees right they're killing multiple deer a week there's not a lot of cougars out here there's plenty there's not the fun kind ah there's there's a lot of those kind but there's also mountain lions there they have them in griffiths park there's one that they there's a photo of the one that i have out there i remember it you see the one that i have out there it's a famous photo of the one it's it's a huge cat that's walking in front of the ho sign. It has a big collar on it because they GPS track them.

But this fucking thing is in Griffith Park. It's right outside. Look at that. That motherfucker, that giant cat. Look at his arm. That's a cool picture. It's an amazing picture. That cat is in the Hollywood Hills.

His name's Chandler. That's Mikey. He's huge. He's huge. He's massive. It's so big. I wonder what it weighs. Isn't that one dead? Didn't that one die?

That one's still alive? Fuck. What's his real name? P-22. That's his name. That's what they call him. They name them numbers instead of giving them names because they don't want to feel bad when they die.

Urban carnivores. Look at him. That old that old warrior just out there eating skunks and shit there's oh damn that's a big fucker that's a big fucker where where was it was out here too like wasn't it that's in the fucking hills imagine if you're hanging out with your chick you're sitting on top of the hill like let's just get a let's go to make out point just get out of the car have a glass of wine you see that thing coming up the hill right out you're like fuck man what do you do what do you do you break the fucking wine bottle on the ground like you're in an old movie like come on fucking revenant come on motherfucker yeah like um the gray remember did you ever see that one that was a liam neeson movie the wolves were coming after him and he Yeah, like The Grey. Remember? Did you ever see that one?

That was a Liam Neeson movie. The wolves were coming after him, and he broke bottles and stuck them inside of his knuckles. I did see that movie. Yeah. It's snowy everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking about Leo fighting a fucking bear.

Yes. That was based on a real guy. That movie was based on a real man. He must have been a motherfucker. There he is. Liam Neeson. I remember that. I love how he has that cowl neck sweater. Yeah.

Looks warm and comfy. Most certainly. I'm just fucking killing a pack of wolves in my fucking cowl neck. Yeah, with broken airplane booze bottles shoved in between each knuckle. Doesn't he have in each knuckle? Yeah, that's what he had. He made like a makeshift brass knuckles. He's got a knife.

He's ready to go to the death with these wolves. That'll take three seconds. Congratulations on your shitty decision making. Gaff tape, air pods. Climb a tree, bro. Congratulations on your shitty decision making. Gaff tape, AirPods. Climb a tree, bro. Climb a tree and wait. Okay? Fucking David Blaine can stand still for 38 hours.

You can't get up in a tree until these wolves get bored? That's true. Wolves can't climb trees, motherfucker. Climb a tree. But do they get bored? We'll find out. We'll find out. I suppose.

We'll find out. How long do you wait for them fuckers to get bored? It's one of two decisions. Either you find out how long they get bored and you go where they can't go or you fight them to the death and that takes three seconds. You have two choices. You gotta fight the biggest one. Bro, they're

gonna tear your hamstrings apart. You gotta fight the biggest one because once you fight the biggest one, they're gonna think you're the leader of the pack now. The first thing they're going to do is they're going to send some little bitch-ass wolves because it's all it needs to kill you. And they're going to eat you asshole first. I would love to see a little bitch-ass wolf try to beat my ass. I would love that.

No shot in hell. Any bitch-ass wolf is kicking my ass. I want to fight your king. Take me to your leader. But getting killed by wolves is probably one of the worst ways to go. Because it takes a while. What about like acid? A vat of acid.

That would be bad too. That would be bad. There's something terrible about knowing that something's killing you to eat you though. You know? Like wolves killing you to eat you. Like you're looking at them like, ah! Ripping apart your chest. Something extra terrifying about that. You could give them a fucking kick!

You could just kick the wolves into fucking oblivion. Nonsense. Wolves, think about what wolves can do. They're 150 pounds. They can run 35 miles an hour. and they can do it for all day. They go all day. They're made out of wire. If you grabbed a hold of a wolf, they don't even feel like an animal.

Get them in the clinch. Get them in the clinch. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good move. What are they going to do if they can't bite you? They'll claw you. Yeah, that's pretty rough. I'm going to do some Tai Chi on them.

Sidestep. Imagine if mice took jujitsu they could keep that fucking centipede from eating them brain first what a weird world nature is man it's terrifying yeah it's just one thing eating another thing getting eaten by a third thing and then what then what's more terrifying about that centipede eating the mouse? The fact that a centipede does that and eats a mouse brain first, or the fact that people set it up and filmed it, knowing how it was going to go down and wanting to show people what happens when a centipede meets a mouse.

So they left this mouse in this total unnatural environment. If that mouse was out in the wild, centipede probably rarely gets a hold of a mouse like that. Right? Mouse is faster. Fast as fuck. And he knows jujitsu. Like that centipede like go back to that video with the

centipede and the mouse. No, no. Don't go back to the video. Did the mouse have a chance of getting away in a real world environment? They were in an aquarium. Right. But it's not a real world environment. But in a real world environment if the mouse had a chance to scramble do you think it could have got away?

Because that's the thing. It's like, is that a fair fight? Like if a big guy is trying to chase down a small fast guy in a large area it's not gonna happen not gonna catch him no but if you leave them in a tiny little room then they can grab them yeah that's kind of what happened there that's in an unnatural environment yeah it's not this is it was first for graphic out of

different version of this is a grasshopper house this is a little more of a fight oh those are vicious little mice. Look at them. They're going to war. Yeah, fuck yeah. Oh my God, the mouse is attacking them and biting it and then jumping away. Again, this is lit very well

and it might be set up. You're right. But, because I don't know how you get cameras so good to capture all this. I think the creepiest part of the whole deal is his legs. Dude, I'm glad you think like you do, Jamie, because you're right.

This could, this is probably more murder porn. What? Oh, we got it. Mouse wins this one. Mouse wins. Oh, bite your fucking head off, bitch. Mouse wins. Bite your fucking head off.

Look at him. Oh, and then he gets to eat him. Oh, yeah. Asshole first. That's what they do. That's where the flavor is, asshole first. You don't need ass. That's a different kind of mouse, though, than those little bitch-ass lab mice that they threw in that aquarium.

Those little lab mice. Can we watch a snake and a mongoose fight? Mongoose beat the snake, too. They're fast. Yeah, mongoose is the best too They're fast Yeah Mongoose is Mongoose is the best bike Here we go As a kid

What is this Pocket mice Like to snack on centipedes Late at night Oh this is a different mouse Oh shit But not this night Oh we clipped them

Not on this night Oh So this night the centipede wins? Oh, my God. He eye-poked him. Look at that. He hurls himself at the mouse. Oh, my God. The mouse ran off.

It's like, this is bullshit. Ugh. You got to think, man. If you're going to war. That's cool looking. That's cool looking. Ugh. What is that?

Kung Fu Mantis? Holy shit. That's a real thing? Okay. Now imagine that? Kung Fu Mantis? Holy shit. That's a real thing? Okay. Now imagine that, the size of a horse, running down Central Park, taking out people. We're so lucky. We're so lucky there are any big, tiny things. Right?

No. Oh, yeah. For sure, dude. That's my boy. Bullets would be just bouncing off that thing. For sure, dude. Oh, that's my boy. Bullets would be just bouncing off that thing.

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Like, twing, twing. Yeah, you think about the existential exoskeleton. Yeah. If the size, you can crush it and you hear the crunch, but at a larger scale, it's probably bulletproof. Yeah, you ain't crunching shit. If you got a big one the size of a horse? Look at that thing.

That's beautiful. What is that, man? What is it called? It's another kind of mantis. I've seen there's like a lot of species of mantises. Bro. Wait, are they mantises? Manti, I don't know. Ooh, manti.

That is one of the craziest looking insects I've ever seen. That's beautiful. Wait, are they going to fight? It looks like they're going to war. Or are they friends? Back up a little bit so I can see the Kung Fu Man. Let's go through his Kung Fu. Because he actually does do Kung Fu.

When you saw the moves that the mantis makes, when he sees the other... Wow, look at that mantis. They're both beautiful. They are. God, it's amazing. But the fact that that little one... Oh, he got snatched up, son. Welcome to the jungle.

How fast? We got fun and games. Yeah, that's it. That's a wrap, bitch. Size doesn't matter. And he's like, I'm going to eat you. That's great. You know what this is?

This is like real kung fu. Imagine. Like you think you have power power over the larger opponent but only so much there's one too it's a different kind hanging upside down well is he uh oh that's a different mantis yeah they must be at the mantis zoo capturing like this is a jumping spider that's what it's called no there is a picture of a spider in here somewhere look at that mant. How many fucking mantises are there? Manti.

Manti. Imagine being a bear and being in a river grabbing a fish and eating it alive. Yeah. Probably feels amazing. Probably tastes so good. You're hungry. Never know where your next meal's gonna come from. Probably doesn't. Probably tastes so good, you're hungry, never know where your next meal's going to come from.

Probably doesn't. Just biting into a salmon. Just imagine, okay, imagine being a big mantis and picking up a little mantis. And eating him. And eating him alive. Right in front of his friends. Look at that thing. Right in front of his friends.

Fuck you and your whole neighborhood. I'm eating your friend. I mean, he's enormous. That's like a it's almost like it's like a giraffe eating a person, right? Is it? As big as he is. Can we pull

up the grasshopper eating a carrot? Look at that one. What is that called? Ghost. It's a ghost of real. That is so crazy. A ghost mantis. There's no way.

Is he on a green bean? He's on a leaf. Oh, I thought he was on a big green bean. What a trick. What's your favorite vegetable? That's a good question. Is it green beans? No.

Oh. That's mine. I like garlic snap peas. Those are really good. Are they snap peas with garlic on it? They make them with garlic. But what's your favorite raw vegetable? Hmm.

Probably like bell peppers because they're not really a vegetable. They're like a fruit. It's a fruit? Is it like a bell pepper, a fruit, or a vegetable? I think so. Straight up vegetables? I guess I like green leafy things, but I don't know if I like them or if I know they're good for you. You try raw green beans.

They're pretty good. They're the best. Okay, if you've got a plate of delicious, ripe watermelon next to some bullshit-ass green beans, which one are you going to reach for? Well, it depends on if I'm feeling fruity or if i'm feeling like vegetative be vegetably yeah i rarely would eat a salad if it was hot out and it was right next to like cold oranges right perfect oranges those you know those oranges when you you pull the peel back it just goes away. It just goes away. It wants you to eat it. You don't have to struggle.

It's like a silk garb on a beautiful lady. Yes, it just drops. And then you peel those little slices and put them in your mouth, and it's just this explosion of moisture and flavor. Fuck your green beans, bro. Hey, eat the whole fucking pack of green beans, and you can send a fucking big wolf. I don't want to fight the little bitch ass wolf.

I get it when people are starving to death. But the fact that you would ever choose Brussels sprouts over a delicious apple is ridiculous. It's different, though. But if you want good mouth flavor, the apple's the way to go. Different textures, different flavors. For sure. I'm not arguing because I believe it. It textures, different flavors. For sure. I'm not arguing because I believe it. It just seems like something to talk about.

Are ghosts real? I wonder, man. So you're friends with Zach Baggins. He believes in them 100%, right? It's real. Okay. But how much of that show that they do when they're like, let's go in the basement. Look, night vision.

What was that? Cut to commercial. How much of that, how many do when they're like, let's go in the basement. Look, night vision. What was that? Cut to commercial. How much of that, how many times have they ever caught an actual ghost on their TV show? A lot. Come on, man. I think ghosts are probably real, but the ghosts that show up on TV are probably hacks. It's real. I was there.

Probably shitty ghosts. Watch my episode. I believe you. That Mama movie that I was talking about, like if that was real, if you see Mama at the end, at the end of the movie you get to see like a real good image of Mama where Mama's like floating,

floating over this person. If that was a real thing and you didn't have your camera out and it just went away and then you had to tell people, would you even tell them? Yeah. What would you tell them? Like if you went camping- You wouldn't even know what to fucking tell them. And then you had to tell people. Would you even tell them? Yeah. What would you tell them?

Like, if you went camping. You wouldn't even know what to fucking tell them. You'd just be like. You'd probably tell a few of your friends, but you wouldn't go to it on Facebook. You wouldn't put it on Facebook. You wouldn't put it on Instagram. You might tell your friends. It's like if you saw a UFO.

If I saw a UFO, legitimate UFO, I saw something I couldn't explain, I'd have to tell people here. I'd have to. You've never seen a UFO? No, I don't think so something I couldn't explain. I'd have to tell people here. I'd have to. You've never seen a UFO? No, I don't think so. I don't think so. Nothing that really stands out. I think I thought I saw something when I was younger, but it's not a strong enough memory.

Could have been a jet fighter, you know. When a fighter jet flies by, you know know they do exercises all the time like there was one time they launched a missile off the california coast i forget who what was it edwards air force base i forget who launched it but it was crazy i was driving down melrose and i saw it fly across the sky and everybody thought it was a ufo people were pulling over they're like what is that what is that? What is that? People have their cameras out. They're looking out the window.

You see this streak flying across the sky. You remember SpaceX launch? I didn't see it in the flesh. I only saw it after the launch. I was flipping shit. That's pretty crazy. It looked bizarre. Did you see it outside?

Yeah. Where did it launch from? I have no idea. Somewhere here. did it launch from i have no idea somewhere here did it launch from here jamie yeah i just saw it online after it had done it and fannenberg santa barbara okay and we looked up and it was just like yeah that and we were like what the fuck is that what time when was this uh this? This was, I lived in Tarzana. Same place I saw that. Same place I saw that.

2017. Oh, yeah, that's right. No, you know what? I did see this. I did see this, too. Same place I saw that, like, whoa. Like, big ass fucking. Maybe I didn't.

I don't remember if I saw this or if I pretended I saw this. We'd have to pull it up on the podcast. I remember that. You might have seen it on here. Yeah, I think that's it. I think maybe I knew it was happening. What makes something look like that? I think it's the thrusters

giving off fire. There's fire coming out of the back end of it and it's going incredibly fast. So it's streaking through the sky. It's causing a disruption coming out of the back end of it, and it's going incredibly fast. So it's streaking through the sky. It's causing a disruption in all of the moisture in the atmosphere. So you've got something that's going insanely fast with an immense amount of power. It's just burning water. Just burning water vapor, and then the condensation in the air.

That's what, when people get confused about, like, oh my God, chemtrails are real. Look up at the sky. When you see planes and you see those trails behind them, all that is is the heat of the engine interacting with the water vapor that's in the air, the condensation, and it creates fake clouds. People are like, they're making clouds. No, they are making clouds. Yeah. But they're not doing it on purpose. It's just a byproduct of jet engines.

Doesn't the Kremlin do that? Definitely people do that. Control weather. There's definitely people who not only do they control weather. In Abu Dhabi, they make it rain once a week. They have 52 weeks of rain a year in the fucking desert. What's it like ions and shit? It's cloud seeding.

They use, but it's a science. Cloud seeding is 100% verified science. They've had it forever. And they've used it to manipulate weather in a bunch of different circumstances. They've used it to cause rain in places, but it's like an established science. It's like silver, there's silver something, silver.

So what is the shit that they use silver surfer there's yeah they impart the powers of the silver surfer but they do something where they spray things

into the sky and it forces the clouds to coalesce I think I'm doing a shitty job of explaining it but they know how to do it in Abu Dhabi

those dudes do it once a once a why not no shit they're like wouldn't it be. Those dudes do it once a week. Why not? No shit. They're like, wouldn't it be great if it rained here once a week? I mean, it's great here, but wouldn't it be great if it rained here once a week? Is it bad?

That's a good question. For Earth? You can't play God. It says they fly out and add stuff to a cloud that already has little rain present. Then they fire a salt flare into the cloud to enhance the rainfall whoa yeah clouds have two air masses one is updraft and one is downdraft what clouds are clouds are alive man but if i was living there i'd and someone came to me hey do you uh we have a service we offer where we can make it rain once a week.

I'd be like, oh yeah, once a week? Yeah. Well, let's do it, man. Yeah. Let's do it. So they have 52 weeks of rainfall a year. They have like once a week it rains. 52 rainfalls a year.

Everything stays moist. Smart. If you can do it, if it actually works. But what does it do? Is it? What does it do? do shoot ghosts into the what are the long what are the long-term effects it's the tears of all the dead people what dead people people have died in the past all of them that's what it is you're praying for more tears that's

what rain is that's why seattle's so sad it's all dead people up there think about weather in relation to music is interesting it is yeah also heroin use right weather in relation to heroin use yeah really yeah pacific heroin in general or drug use in general drug use in general but it appears that like the people that i've talked to that lived particularly my friend joey dia, who lived in the Pacific Northwest, he's like, man, there's something about that area where it's all heroin. A lot of heroin up there. And Joey, you know, he has a lot of experience with drugs. And he lived up there for a bit. He was like, dude, it's just a lot of heroin.

Yeah. I think it's a sadness, you know, the lack of vitamin D, lack of sunlight. I don't think people really truly understood how bad that was for you to be vitamin D deficient like that. And the fact that that's the best way we get it is from the sun. Yeah. That's why when you're out at your place, man, and you're in Utah, those clear skies, and you just fucking close your eyes and face towards the sun, you feel it on your face. Like, oh, it's nice, man. That's a love hug from the universe. The fireball in the sky makes you vitamins.

The fireball in the sky is making me vitamins. The fireball in the sky makes you vitamins. That's what it is. It's crazy. It is crazy. But even in Utah, even during the winter times it's super overcast and snowing and shit but you still get that same kind of vibe it's maybe that's because you experience the the warmth utah's not overcast like the Pacific Northwest is though It's, yeah Not even close

It's like London too It's like the fog Like the It's heavy and it's dense You know Yeah There's something about that kind of shit That it's fun for a while

Right But after a while it wears on you Every day Yeah Every day over and over Yeah The dudes that I know that sustain it They seem weary You know, my dudes that i know that sustain it they seem weary

you know my friends that i know from the pacific northwest there's something about them there's a weariness to them that concerns me even the healthy ones they don't they seem weary i mean maybe this is obviously just the people that i know. But there's something about them, man. I just think we need sunlight. It's good for people. It feels good. That's why you like to go on vacation. Like, you don't have to live where it's dreary.

Right. And I think, look, if you look at the biggest political upheavals, the biggest, these protests that are getting crazy where they're trying to burn down courthouses and shit, it's Seattle and Portland are the craziest. Seattle and Portland are way wilder. Seattle, they took over six blocks of the town, set up their own government, put up their own borders, used their own security in place of the police. They wouldn't let people in.

I mean, they wouldn't let the police in. They set it up for, they were there for weeks like that that's not happening anywhere where it's sunny out that's I think it's more likely to take place there it's fucking celestial I suppose like human behaviors

kind of fucking out of our control and all lies within the environment, I guess. I guess that's not totally accurate, though, because they really did fuck up L.A., too. L.A. went pretty goddamn crazy. I wasn't here. L.A. seems to have calmed down, at least a little bit,

whereas it only seems to have ramped up more in the Pacific Northwest. But goddamn, it's beautiful up there in the summer. I'm a nut for pine trees. Pine trees? Just like looking at them? They're incredible. And they smell good. They do smell good.

Yeah. You wake up in the morning and even, that's why, like, I don't know if I could live there, but, like, being in the Northwest, the Pacific Northwest, is waking up there is special. Yeah. It does feel different. Hmm. It's like there's, like, a certain smell in the air.

Yeah. It's nature. It's real nature. You know know it's unmolested nature what you're smelling is the same thing that people smelled if they lived there a thousand years ago yeah in utah there's smog and especially in salt lake smog gets heavy but where i'm, it's not so bad. But you can see it. Sunrise, you can see it all. That sucks. Ellie gets it bad.

That was one of the craziest things about COVID is when the lockdown hit and people weren't driving, the air quality's never been better. Los Angeles air quality is amazing. People go outside, breathe the air. This is crazy. Do you think that makes a difference? Oh, it makes a huge difference. crazy that makes a difference oh it makes a huge difference if cars aren't driving it makes a huge difference it's probably a big part of the problem here and that's also going to be a good argument for electric cars and it's also going to be a good argument for autonomous vehicles less fires and accidents and shit where are you from I was born in New Jersey and mostly grew up in Boston.

Yeah, but I lived out here for a while. I lived in California when I was a little kid. You're not a Pats fan, are you? I don't like sports. Sports are whack. I don't know anything about them. I'm a professional sports commentator who doesn't know the rules to sports. I appreciate the athletes.

I appreciate what they do. Like, I enjoy watching like Michael Jordan highlights or Kobe Bryant highlights or something like that. Or football players who do crazy shit. I love watching them, but... Dallas Cowboys. It's not because it's not exciting. I've watched Super Bowls before. They're fucking exciting.

But there's only so much time in a day. And I already... My Bowls before. They're fucking exciting. But there's only so much time in a day. And my schedule's full. Full up with shit I'm interested in. I can't just start following the NBA and try to figure out all the games. Or Major League Baseball. Oh, well, there's the National League. I don't know. And there's the fucking American League.

Like, what? I don't know how baseball works. They play so many damn games. They play so many games. Then who's in the playoffs and why? It's like, what's happening here? But it gives people a lot of fucking entertainment, man. If you're bored, you know, like for a lot of folks that are stuck in a shitty job, just

like we were talking about driving that 68 Charger or a 68 Camaro to work, for a lot of dudes stuck in a job that doesn't give them any thrills, and they know they have to go, they have to be up in the morning. They don't have time for anything other than watching something. And they can watch a basketball game and get very invested in the fact that they want their team to win or watch a football game or a baseball game. They get invested. Come on, Patriots.

No, come on. Let me crack this open What do you got there Oh shit Yeah Dallas Cowboys Yeah

Dallas He's a Cowboys fan I can tell Jamie's from Columbus Ohio Huh Got some good Buckeyes on the Cowboys Yeah Of course Everything comes out of Ohio

There's something weird about Ohio Yeah Football's an awesome sport I wish it didn't fuck people's brains up There's something weird about Ohio. Yeah. Football's an awesome sport. I wish it didn't fuck people's brains up as much. But that's just how it is with everything. Everything. Everything dangerous, everything risky.

You run the risk of getting injured. I just hope they figure out a way to fix brains. Fix brains or fix helmets. I don't think that's gonna help when you see some of these guys the the speed that they run at each other and they're colliding you just the fucking physical strength that these people have if you saw what Zeke run and I see this Zeke just takes a fucking hit. Dude. Fucking top. And I'm like, are you okay?

And then he gets right up and does it again. It's like so much respect to fucking fighters, to fucking football players, basketball players, everybody. Absolutely. They all deserve a lot of respect. But this is just a danger to football, I think, that's not in as many other. This is just my looking at it. There's a real danger to fighting.

There's no doubt. But in fighting, there's a person in front of you, and they're trying to do stuff to you, and you should know how to avoid it. And if you don't, that's just how the game works. But in football, there's, like, dudes running at each other. I mean, you're going to get hit. Yeah, 20 miles an hour. They're going so fast.

They're so strong. And they're running at you. And you're running, and they're running, and it's boom. What about rugby? What about rugby? There's something pure about that, right? Because they don't have the pads. I don't think people would attack the way they attack now if there was no pads.

That's an argument for football that's a weird argument, right? Because, like, make them play with no helmets and see how they play. Like, yikes. I think they start – I was looking at this one time. I think that, like, the football protection started from different injuries. Like, brain injuries were obviously never a worry. Spinal injuries are huge in rugby. And they were big in football before too.

Like the neck injuries were what they were trying to prevent for a long, long time. That makes sense. Spine injuries. That makes sense. People get paralyzed and you show that on TV. It's scary as all shit. That makes sense.

Nobody wants to play anymore. Wow. So what do you risk? Do you risk that or the brain damage? But that, I don't know, because there's people who are so passionate about it. A hundred percent. Yeah. I would never say they shouldn't be able to do it.

Yeah. But people should know what it is, you know, when you're playing it. What was the movie that Will Smith did? Yeah. Concussion. Concussion. That was based on an actual doctor who had figured out what was going on. You know, it's a fucking amazing sport, though.

When you're watching crazy shit happen on the field, and you're like, I need to be there and see one live. Because that's probably when you really get an understanding about'll go to at&t biggest stadium in the world right that's what it's so god can watch the roof open so god are you allowed to be there live no not yet will be well like i just will you be ohio stadium is saying they're gonna have 20 capacity maybe i don't know how much those tickets are going to be, how rare they'll be or whatever, but people probably will be able to be in person at football games

if they happen. A limited number of people. God, that's so weird. You know what was bizarre, too, watching the last UFC, no one in the fucking audience. Strange, right? And you get to hear those fuckers getting like fucking just cracked on the head dude it's like there's something very exciting about it man it's

something i almost like about it more um watching it that way yeah it's kind of like you're more there well it's just there's no there's no denying that um like a big crowd an awesome crowd like a conor mcgregor crowd is crazy it's a spectacle to see you know we've seen all those people screaming and cheering and i remember he had senado connor sing for him i was like holy shit man there's like green smoke in the air and everything like it was amazing and everybody's going crazy when connor makes his way to the cage. Everybody's going crazy. It's like WWE.

It's just the energy in the room is undeniable. I mean, it's amazing. But there's also something amazing about these two dudes in front of each other. Right. Where there's no crowd. No one around. And you hear everything. You hear all the impacts.

You hear them breathing. You hear them talking shit to each other. You other the the the coaches the corners and everybody everything it's so different man it almost makes you think that this is like really kind of the best way to do it like i want people to be able to see it live for sure but there's something about there's a purity to no audience. I'm saying this from a real selfish place, right, because I get to be there. And I get it. Yeah, I mean, if they could open it up and it would be safe and everybody could sell tickets,

I 100% would want the audience to be full. Don't get me wrong. But there's something about when you're there and there's no audience right that you're you feel first of all you feel very lucky I feel very very lucky to be there like man. There's only like ten people in the room watching Tyron Woodley versus Gilbert Burns right with ten people and I'm one of these ten people calling this shit. That's crazy but then There's also There's there also nothing influencing.

It's just the fight, man. There's no roar of the crowd. There's nothing. Nothing. It's just the fight. And when it's just a fight, man, you see it break. It's so clean. Like you see it all break down more.

And how much does that affect performance? I wonder. Asking you. I wonder. I think people vary. I think some people feed off the crowd and they love it and they love the pressure and then some people they're better off if there's no crowd

some people probably fight better it's almost like a sparring session in an empty gym you know there's no one there sometimes the physical people in front of you like just 20,000 people screaming and cheering for George St. Pierre, and you're like, fuck.

And you've got to realize, like, you have to perform. All these people hate you. They all want you to lose, and they all stand there watching you about to fight one of the, you know, greatest fighters of all time. If you're going to fight George St. Pierre, you've got to get your ass kicked. Is he a nice guy? He's a super nice guy. I want him to be a nice guy.

He is as nice as possible. GSP is my shit. guy he's a super nice guy i want him to be a nice guy he is as nice as possible is my shit that guy's a real warrior in the best sense of the word meaning like if you wanted to have your kid emulate someone who's a martial artist a gentleman a really interesting person who thinks a lot about things and treats martial arts as an art form and a discipline and a way to express himself and a way to show that he can be the best. Like, he's as positive a human being as you're ever going to meet. Georges St-Pierre is, like, so positive in so many ways. He's such a nice guy and undeniably one of the best fighters of all time.

Yeah, there's no fucking way. But such a nice guy. People would take him for granted. Yeah, until it's too late. He's so nice you wouldn't realize. This guy's a killer. He's a fucking killer, man. But when you're around him, he's so nice. You can't believe he beats people up for a living.

He gets that shit out inside the cage i saw anderson silva once in london oh yeah you see him fight no no you saw him i just saw him at the airport i saw him at heathrow and i was like that's super nice guy yeah anderson is so nice he's one of my faves he's so friendly is he he's so nice very very very nice i got to see. He's so friendly. Is he? He's so nice. Very, very, very nice. I got to see Anderson when he first burst. I was a fan of Anderson's before he made it to the UFC. He was fighting at Cage Rage in the

UK. He was dominating people. I was watching these videos online. I was like, God damn, this guy is amazing. I remember he fought for Pride, too. But he was getting better. And then it all came together for him during the years he was fighting in the U.K. And that's when everybody had their eye on him. And he beat Lee Murray.

And he beat Jorge Rivera. I mean, he was a monster. Tony Fricklin. He hit him with this crazy elbow that he practiced. That crazy upward step in, upward elbow. He was a wizard. So when he came over to the UFC, we caught him right at his prime. And it's arguable that prime Anderson Silva was the best martial artist ever.

It's real arguable. When he knocked out Vitor Belfort with that front kick to the face, I mean, some of the shit that he did, man, some of the knockouts that he had, like he had ESP. He knew where people were going to be. And he had knuckles waiting for him right he was when he was on and no fighter can stay on that level for very long the human body just breaks down yeah but there's a time where anderson was so good i'd put him up against anybody that ever lived there was a time it was a few years where the rich franklin years

like anderson was unstoppable where did where did he fight at where what did he fight at what weight 185 was 185 so he's probably really walked around like 200 plus pounds and we cut weight to so what is that light that's middleweight he was a little a champion yeah I I would like to see John and Anderson that would have been an amazing fight in its day. It would be not a good fight now. Right. John's in his prime and Anderson is, you know, I think Anderson's full. Right. No, but like prime time.

It would have been interesting. John is a big man. They – I met John. He's a sweet dude too. Super sweet guy. John is a big man though. Yeah. He's big.

He's from Rochester. He's from where my grandparents live. He could easily be a heavyweight. Easily, if he wanted to. If he decided. He's one of those guys that could go easily back and forth between 205 and heavyweight. Right. If he decided to take enough time to do it.

He's fucking strong as fuck. When you watch him grab guys and ragdoll them around, there's a weird strength to him that you see with some of these really elite grapplers. Some of these guys, like when you see like top of the food chain grapplers like Yoel Romero, there's like something about grabbing people your whole life and throw it around like Brock Lesnar. There's grabbing people strength. Brock Lesnar's a fucking dog. He was ridiculous. He was ridiculous. He was ridiculous. Dude, he was so powerful. That motherfucker. It's all in

these. What are these? It was everything. Traps. The trapezes. He was like 43% traps. He was so strong. He's such a big human being, man. Like that shit, man. That's grown in a lab. That's some Viking DNA that shit, man, that's grown in a lab. That's some Viking DNA right there.

Man, that's nuts. That's the lab of the sea. Yeah. Created that thing. That's 100% Viking DNA. If you ever want to know what Vikings looked like when they were terrifying. It's fucking Brock Lesnar. Yeah.

Somebody. Yeah, look at those. Come on, son. Look at those motherfuckers. A brass knuckle sword up the top of his chest. Yo, that is the hardest tattoo, too. Bro, it's hard as fuck. Fucking trench knife just running up his fucking chest.

Doesn't it say death clutch on his back or something, too? There's some, Google what's on his back. He's got some crazy shit on his back, too. Just Google Brock Les on his back. He's got some crazy shit on his back too. Just Google Brock Lesnar's back. Yeah, his back has like a skull. Yeah, click it. There it is. That's his back.

Yeah. It's got meat hooks. Damn, the meat hooks. Dripping zombie meat hooks. And below it is like a demon head. Like, okay. I love how they put the little bit of blonde in the black and white photo. Look at the size of him.

Come on, man. That is one of the most preposterous humans that has ever existed. I'm trying to look. Come on. It's perfect. Look at the size of Brock Lesnar. That motherfucker was so big. Man.

The fact that this guy. Look at the size of Brock Lesnar. That motherfucker was so big. Man. The fact that this guy. Look at that. You got to think of all his accomplishments because someone put a video up about him and it showed all the shit that he did. He won a national championship, NCAA Division I national championship in wrestling. He went on to play for the Minnesota Vikings. What? Yes. When? He played. I don't know. He went on to play for the Minnesota Vikings. What? Yes. When? He played. I don't know. He was on field. He got a tackle.

There's a video of it. Then he went. It was the Minnesota Vikings, right? He's a Minnesota guy. Training camp, yeah. Oh, so it was in training camp. So it was not an official game? I don't think so. I think it was a training camp. Like a scrimmage? Something like that? Preseason game. So, okay. Preseason game. So think it was like a training. Like a scrimmage? Something like that? Yeah, preseason game. So, okay, preseason game.

So he played preseason at least for the Vikings. Playing what? Linebacker? But it was the Vikings, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he goes from there to the WWE. So he goes from there to the WWE. Then he goes from the WWE to the fucking UFC heavyweight championship of the world.

Yeah. I mean, there it is. What? He's jersey number 69, too. I like his style. That's the funny number. 69, bro. You know how to do it. Yeah.

Woo! Yeah, respect. He's a funny number. 69, bro. You know how to do it. Yeah. Woo! Yeah, respect. There he is right there. He's a defensive tackle. So you have to, I mean, like legitimately wonder, like how does one make a human like that? You know, how many humans like that have ever existed? CRISPR. Just all the shit that he's done.

That's fucking crazy. Yeah, you need to CRISper him before he dies because we if we have an army of brock lesnar's yeah bulletproof brock lesnar's that's what everybody's gonna be is he a nice guy very nice guy yeah very nice guy he has a beautiful smile like a pure smile you know what he is, man? He's a guy who wants challenges. You know, to do what he did when he was a WWE champion. So he's the champion of this wrestling entertainment thing. And then he goes from that into the UFC and wins the real heavyweight title. Right. And beats a legend in Randy Couture.

That's bananas. That's crazy. That's so rare that a guy can do so many fucking things. Crazy. What's his style? What is he? He's a wrestler. But he can do everything. He can strike for sure. He's knocked guys out.

He's got ridiculous submissions. He crushes people's heads. Just a huge man. I mean, there's not a whole lot. You have to be really good to beat a guy like that. And guys have beaten him. He got tapped by Frank Mir, got him in a leg lock, caught him, didn't really understand submissions.

And Alistair Overeem beat him after he had colon surgery. Alistair Overeem's a dog. Yeah, when he was at his best, he was a terrifying guy too. Terrifying. Him and Brock Lesnar is the battle of the specimens. Have you ever seen that fight between him and Brock Lesnar? With? Alistair Overeem?

Yeah, yeah. That was the battle of the specimens. That was. The strong-ass motherfucker. He didn't even put anything into that punch, too. All it has to do is land. He's so big. This was, you know randy couture

too you're talking about a guy who's one of the all-time greats he's on the mount rushmore for sure that's how big brock lesnar is where's he talked to randy about it afterwards he goes that was a big son bitch where is he from brock lesnar from nebraska no shit yeah he's a viking definitely if you got some dna on that dude oh my god and he's fat yeah yo he's fast he's very fast well he's just a spectacular athlete i mean you gotta you gotta deal with some crazy shit with this guy he's a big fella and again he did lose some fights but you got to realize all the shit he was doing instead of fighting for so long. If Brock Lesnar had just decided to fight from the time he left college, if he never did football, if he never fucked with anything else outside of actual fighting. And just went fighting.

And just started smashing people. Oh, my God. Who knows how good he could have gotten. started smashing people oh my god who knows how good he could have gotten like when he was in college if he just embraced mma the way he embraced wrestling who knows i mean he this is when he beat frank mirup that was a particularly brutal knockout he was an undeniable man it just makes you wonder with a guy like that, like, what if he started earlier? Because within his first few fights as a professional, he was the heavyweight champion. I think it was, like, really early in his career.

Like, go to his mixed martial arts record, how many fights he had. Oh, that's what I wanted to ask you, too. Does that carry over? What? Does that carry over? What? Does what carry over? So wins, losses, that carries over from each program or each show. So if it's like Bellator or anything, so you fight for Bellator and then you go to UFC. They have contracts.

So if you're a Bellator fighter, you would be contractually obligated to fight only for Bellator. No, right, but do those wins from Bellator carry over to you? Oh, yeah, for sure. And that's across all? Yeah, all organizations. Yeah, it's your professional record. And then they'll have a Bellator record or a UFC record.

So it was his fourth fight. Fourth fight as a professional. He won the world title for Randy Couture. That's crazy. Wow. Crazy. Then he beat Frank Mir to defend it, who's a fantastic champion. Shane Carwin, another amazing champion.

Then he lost to Cain Velasquez and lost to Alistair. Then he beat Mark Hunt and he retired I love Mark Hunt too Mark Hunt was awesome I love Max Holloway he's amazing kickboxer to mark on like in k1 he was probably had his best he was a k1 Grand Prix champion you know I mean he really learned like the wrestling the jiu-jitsu and all all that stuff later on. When he was a kickboxer, he was one of the best alive. He's a tank, too, man. Big guy.

Yeah, he's like 5'10", but he's that wide. Big guy. Again, that's like you got your Samoan DNA, you got your Viking DNA. Stout folk. Stout folk. Stout folk. We should probably end this podcast. Just fucking fighting. Oh, yeah.

It's probably like, it's been how many hours? Four hours? Are we in four? Jesus. Wow. Talking up a storm, son. Well, I had to pee. I did too.

This was fun, man. This was a ridiculous bullshit session. It was very fun. Yeah, what an incredible bullshit session. It was really good. I enjoyed too. This was fun, man. This was a ridiculous bullshit session. It was very fun. Yeah, what an incredible bullshit session. It was really good. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the Bud Light. Enjoyed your company.

Thanks, man. Thanks for doing this. No, thank you. All right. Bye, everybody. See ya. We've done that for four hours