The Joe Rogan Experience - #1549 - Tom Papa

Episode Date: October 14, 2020

Comedian and writer Tom Papa is the host of the popular podcast "Breaking Bread with Tom Papa" and the author of two books, the latest of which is "You're Doing Great! ... and Other Reasons to Stay Alive." In addition, Papa is also the co-host, along with Fortune Feimster, of the Netflix radio program "What a Joke with Papa and Fortune." It can be heard daily on Sirius XM.

the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day tom papa welcome to real america i'm glad you've gotten out of your liberal hidey hole you come here we can eat at a real restaurant it feels the same does it yeah what do you mean it feels the same it feels the same i went to a restaurant and uh uh you know is that what real life is now restaurant or not a restaurant feels the same where as in as it does in la just walking around la feels the same as this place uh kinda that's not what you were just saying before we got in here what are you a fucking propaganda the guy comes here no i'll tell you what the difference is not fair i'll tell you what the difference he was saying y'all and all kinds of shit no you know what i found i i'm here

to eat with you by way of Denver and then to here. And they're all doing the same things, pretty much. You have a little more indoor, but everyone's masked up, everyone's doing things. But there's less anxiety in these places. Right. In LA, they keep the pressure turned up to scare you to get you to behave. So you do walk around feeling more trapped and more nervous. Yeah, but it's not based on reality.

It's not wise. It's not healthy. Trump's 74, and he's fat, and he kicked it in four days. Yeah, but... I don't give a fuck what anybody says. What did they give that guy? They gave him everything. He's the president of the United States. But it works.

They have a thing. If you give him everything, it works but fat old guys yeah but he's getting stuff that's very different from what you would get just walking into urgent care in encino don't go to urgent care in encino go to cedar cyanide they'll hook you up with whatever he's got yeah do you think they like is he getting things that you can't get yes in all seriousness yeah are you sure how do you know 100 because the first thing is a trial drug that hasn't been approved yet they're not just handing that out at cedars is that the the first thing that's rems dividir no i said that no everyone can get that rems devir remdesivir remdesivir anyone can get that anyone can get them what is the other stuff they

gave the other thing he got was like the plasma-related therapy. You can't get that everywhere? No. Why can't you? Because you're not the president of the United States. Or maybe the liberal media is trying to keep that from you so that you stay sick so that they can get Biden into the White House. Ever think about that? All right.

Now, wait a second. Hmm. I literally last night, because I literally was, there is definitely so much confusion, because that side is ramping up the fear 100%, making it scarier than it is, so they can get him to be president. And the other side is definitely saying, from Trump on down, don't worry about this thing, so it makes it look like we did a good job, and the economy comes back, that stuff so i'm like this cognitive dissonance like what is real what i watched tucker carlson he made sense for a minute and then i watched i watched anderson he made sense for a minute and i was like let me lift off into the satellite and let me just look at the world

yeah let me see what's happening in the world just that's not involved in this election spain france moscow the netherlands all opened up a little too much and now we're all putting restrictions back everything's spiked yeah but if you want to look at other countries look at sweden because they opened up completely and they have less cases and now they're back to normal. They have no masks. You go to a bar, no one's, obviously it's a smaller country. Smaller country. I mean, look. Less people.

They live in different sort of circumstances. They have mostly smaller villages. Right. Other than Stockholm. But they're fine. I know. But if you look at Spain and you look at France and you look at Moscow, I mean, these places, there's no political agenda in these places.

There's no political agenda. It's just they opened up and they said, let's go all open. And the cases skyrocketed. And now they have to, like, bring it back a little bit. It's this the virus is a real thing eating all these extra humans. And, you know, all these extra human. What the fuck? What are you saying?

The virus is a real thing eating all these extra humans yeah what is that what do you mean what kind of way to describe it is that well that's how i look at it eating all these extra humans we have extra humans right now we have way too many humans you can't say it like that well it's the truth you know how sometimes you have moss that's growing and it comes up just up to the edge of the walkway and you're like, that looks pretty. Right. And then it starts going over onto the brick and starts covering. We are the moss and we're covering the bricks now and something's showing up and scaling us back a little bit. Or there was an experimental virus that they were working on in the Wuhan, what is it, level four lab,

and it got out. Sweden, which refused COVID lockdown, says restrictions will remain for at least another year. Yeah, but the restrictions are very different. The restrictions are for really large gatherings, but you can go to restaurants, you can go to bars, you can go to all those places. Yes, but there's still restrictions. The virus is a real thing all around the planet,

and it's going to be a little bit. It's going to be until June, by the way, I heard, in Denver. real thing go all around the planet and it's gonna be a little bit it's gonna be till june by the way i heard in denver how do they know that in denver are they the people who told you by eating up extra humans they told me that uh this pilot was talking to me at the show and he said his doctor of some note was saying that uh all of our pandemics have lasted 18 months despite what we try to do restrictions no restrictions it runs its course 18 months is about where the fire starts to subside and you go back to normal historically historically speaking and this one and because it's a hundred years in between pandemics nobody's around to like give you lessons from the last one so we

make all the same mistakes and if you go by that it's about june from when this virus started we're talking about june when we're back to normal which is kind of upsetting but kind of nice also that you have an end date you know it's kind of all right that's annoying i gotta wear masks and do all this stuff and be kind of messed up but till june that's kind of like, all right, that's annoying. I got to wear masks and do all this stuff and be kind of messed up. But till June, that's kind of nice. I can maybe make some plans. I can make a 4th of July plan. How many businesses are we going to lose between now and June, though? I think the real issue is people putting restrictions on what people can and can't do. That's the real problem, is you're basically giving up your constitutional rights and there's no real protection for you this way, right? There's no real protection for your business. There's no real protection for your livelihood. And even with all this, you're still

dealing with other kinds of horrible deaths and other kinds of horrible things that go along with the economic despair sure like how many people are going to die because of drug overdoses or depression or suicide yes yeah these have to be factored in too they totally do and i really get the feeling like but there's a there's the the middle ground right but the cnn narrative in the spox narrative there is the root there's the truth and i still i saw it in port And I saw it in Portland. I saw it in Connecticut. I saw it in Salt Lake City. I've performed in all these places.

And they are all wearing masks, but their businesses are open. Well, that's what we should have had in LA a long time ago. Yes, they're testing. They've got the masks on. They're distancing. I ate in restaurants, but it's limited capacity. I performed in comedy clubs

half capacity uh but here's the thing not just because of my comedic draw i don't think i don't think that that's scientific because there's aerosol the the virus is carried through the air now yeah this has pretty much been confirmed yeah they used to think it carried through droplets which is the reason for the whole six foot social distancing space they don't think that's the case anymore they think it's airborne so if that's the case all that social distancing stuff is horseshit because it's in the air but not if you're social distanced and have a mask on i'm telling you the social distancing thing doesn't mean anything anymore gotcha what they're saying you can be close with a mask, but you're still in a mask. A lot of these masks have holes in them.

Well, yeah, but... A lot of these masks, like you see these paper masks that people have with the wire? There's an opening in the top, there's openings in the side. There's a lot of sketchy bags. I'm not saying it's not a good idea to wear a mask, and maybe it reduces some of the droplets that go out. A hundred percent. Maybe.

I'm not a scientist, neither are you. I'm not. What I am saying is, i don't know how much i think what you're getting is you're getting a lot of people that are healthy and they're going out and they don't have it and they're not giving it to anybody because they don't have it and you're getting away with it and everybody's wearing masks and it's good to be cautious but i don't necessarily know if you were in a room filled with people who had covid and you unless you had an n95 mask unless you have a real mask, I don't know if

those fucking cloth masks are going to help you. I think they work. I mean, because look, you look at these places. What are you basing that on? I'm basing it on cities where they have the mask as a thing, and they made it mandatory that you wear these masks, and the numbers go down. Everyone does.

Everyone does what? Everywhere you have to wear a mask. The whole country. Well, now. But it wasn't. I mean, this was fits and starts and people screwing around. There's all sorts of weird shit. I traveled. The protests were a big kick in the virus. That was a giant uptick. Right.

Of course. And there was a lot of people out there with no masks. Not just that. They were just bumper to bumper with each other. They were right next to each other and screaming. Right. Exactly. And it's in the air.

Exactly. Especially at nighttime. They think the sun kills it like almost instantly oh that's nice yeah there's been studies on uv light and uv light kills it almost instantly right so sunlight and even simulated sunlight can kill it all look any precaution it's it's you're playing the odds yeah right you want to do all the things that you can to- I want the steroids that Trump's on. That's what I want. I want them too. I want the vaccine. The same shit that The Rock had when he was doing Jumanji.

They gave him all the good stuff. Yeah, the really good stuff. And shots in the ass. Did you see his tweets? Remember when you were a kid and you got a shot in your butt cheek? I do. Those things worked. That's what we need to bring back.

Ass cheek shots. What shots did they give you in your butt? I don't- I don't know, but they worked. That's what we need to bring back. Ass cheek shots. What shots did they give you in your butt? I don't... I don't know, but they worked. And you didn't want to go back to the doctor and have some man take your pants off and make you cry in front of your mom, so you stayed healthy. I never cried on my kid. How funny would it be if you were sticking your ass out of your car window to get your

vaccine? That would be hilarious. If everybody's just parked with their butt right up to their driver's side window. So look, all of this is kind of like, it's going to run its course. Hold on a second here. But you can do things to combat that. They also revealed Trump has been treated with dexamethasone, an immunosuppressant steroid

that can cause euphoric mood changes. Well, there's his tweets. That's him doing wheelies in the parking lot. Since then, people have posted online about their own experience with the drug. Interesting. An immunosuppressant steroid. That's what's interesting, too. They say that one of the things that happens with this disease is you actually don't want the immune system to react too violently to the disease.

Yeah, I read about that. Or too aggressively to the disease. So they're given... I don't understand the logic behind that, because I'm stupid. I tried to read that article. It was complicated. It made me think how amazing the human body is. There's stages of the immune system.

It originally comes out and gives you a dose of stuff and surrounds the virus and then it goes up and then it ramps up and then it reboots and then it like sends another part it was like four stages of what your immune system does and because it has to be ramped up to attack this virus it could actually hurt you more than the virus. Well, here it says, what does dexamethasone do? Dexamethasone is a corticosteroid hormone that decreases the body's natural immune response and reduces swelling and allergic reaction symptoms. This medication treats a number of conditions, including asthma, IBS, Crohn's disease, and a number of lymphomas. It is used to treat COVID-19 because serious cases can provoke an exaggerated immune response,

releasing a large number of pro-inflammatory cytokines in what's known as a cytokine storm. I've heard of that. As an immunosuppressant, dexamethasone is thought to help reduce the likelihood of the body's overreaction to the virus researchers found dexamethasone to significantly reduce mortality among seriously ill i.e hospitalized covid19 patients scientists have said it may prevent one in three deaths among patients on ventilators wow interesting yeah so they gave him they threw the kitchen sink at it immediately yeah and it worked. Yeah, you're the president of the United States. You should get everything they possibly have.

All I'm getting at this by fucking with you here is that in these times where things are very unsure, a lot of times people like to say exactly what you need to do and what's happening. As long as people do this, we're okay. As long as we wear a mask, we're okay. And I'm not sure. I'm not sure that's the case. I think we're okay as long as we wear a mask we're okay as and i'm not sure i'm not sure that's the case okay i think we're all gonna get it that's what i think well that is within that is the reality of what i'm saying that doctor saying that it goes 18 months but i don't know if 18 months mean everybody gets it you're gonna come in contact with it right and some people's

immune system just beats it that's what that's I kind of, after looking at it globally last night, and what that doctor said of this timeline, which is total hearsay, but it seems to make sense. It made me think, all of this is noise, and us all freaking out. What about my job? What about the mask? What about this? What do we do? Is it real? is it not and it's all we're all freaking out and it's going to run its course

either way despite how crazy we get this virus is going to run its course and in a year and a half it's going to kind of exactly listen what you're saying you're talking as if you know what's going to happen i'm guessing but but see what people do? You just sort of lay it out. People do this at cocktail parties. You say, yeah, well, we got to do it. This is how it's going to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you feel comforted by that.

Of course. Comforted by that. And then you go home and you try to relax. If you say to a room full of people, I feel like I'm getting something. Everybody there knows what to do. They run away from you. You got to take zinc.

You got to take this. You got, right? Chicken soup. You know what you got to do? you got to take this you got right you know chicken soup you know what you gotta do you gotta get ginger there's this ginger drink everybody has the idea and that's what i'm trying to say like we're all trying to control the universe but this thing's gonna run its course it's gonna happen we don't really have that much control over well it's insanely contagious santino caught it giving a guy ride home 10 minute ride home with the windows open, and he caught it. No mask? No, they weren't wearing masks.

Yeah, the guy didn't know he had it. No symptoms. No coughing. No nothing. Gives him a ride home for ten minutes. How did he know that that was the guy? Because the guy called him afterwards, a couple days later, and says, I got it. And then Santino's like, fuck.

And then a couple days after that, Sant got it and then santino's like fuck and then a couple days after that santino has it i like fauci he looks like a little guy from the bronx and he's kind of makes me feel comfortable and he's on the in the administration part of the trump team and he's saying please just wear the mask yes but you know initially he didn. But, you know, initially he didn't say that. And the reason why he didn't say that is because he wanted to make sure there's masks for first responders. Right. The problem with that means he lied. That means he said something that he knew wasn't true.

I'm not perfect. Everybody lies. He said something he knew wasn't true because he wanted people to react in a certain way. But then he still expects them to trust him after that. I'm not saying you shouldn't trust him. I hear you. I'm not saying it's wise or unwise. But I'm saying in that circumstance, I wouldn't have recommended he do that.

Of course not. I mean, the idea was that we were panicked. And he thought, look, if I tell people, everybody get a mask, then there's going to be this nationwide shortage of masks. 100%. I read this article of countries that have done better than other countries, South Korea, New Zealand, they have advantages about isolation and all that kind of stuff, and fewer people. But the main thing that they were saying is communication. Tell people the truth, and they'll react accordingly and it calms the hysteria and it puts trust in the people that are giving you the advice so if he had come out

and said masks are important use a bandana and leave these for the health care workers these are very important that these people on the front lines get it that would have been so much better because then we wouldn't have the discussion when he comes out in September. My friend who's a doctor says the bandanas are useless. They look cool, though. Not really. They look better than the plastic ones. Okay, if you weren't in a pandemic and you're wearing a bandana over your face like that, you look either a douchebag or a bank robber. What about when you pull it down around your neck?

Then you're a weirdo. You look like you're at Studio 54. You're a Chris Christopherson fan. Or you're a guy who's at the range. A lot of guys at the gun range, they'll put bandanas around their neck because shells come flying, hot shells. Right. And they can land in your collar and burn your neck. I like it.

I used to wear it when I was on my motorcycle. I would wear a bandana up for that same reason, for the road stuff. That makes sense. And then you walk into the bar afterwards and you pull it down. You look like a badass.. You look like a badass. You look like a badass. Yeah. Yeah.

You take that little disposable paper thing and put it down on your neck. No one's looking at you. My friend Jeff, who's a doctor, he said that's the worst thing you can wear is those bandanas. It is. Yeah. He said cloth masks are better. They're thicker. They'll protect you more.

He goes, but you really want an N95 mask. Yeah. That's the real deal. He goes, but you really want an N95 mask. Yeah, that's the real deal. I've been, in my travels, I've been on four or five round-trip flights, and I've been wearing the paper ones, the disposable ones. Yeah, the paper ones are okay.

They're easiest to breathe in, which makes me suspicious. I know. I was thinking the same thing. That's what I was saying. I think if it's airborne, I don't know if that shit is blocking that much. I don't. I know. I'm like, I'm wearing the bandana.

I'm suffocating. So then I put on the disposable one. I'm like, oh, this is good. I can go all the way to New York like this. What do you think's larger? The virus in the air, an aerosol, or fart particles? Because I guarantee you. That made me suspicious, too. Someone has a hard fart.

I got on the tram in Denver at like 8 in the morning, and someone let a meaty one out. I mean, one of those lasagna farts. And the whole place, we're all in masks, and everyone was horrified. I'm like, how strong like how strong did anyone say anything no they didn't have to you saw facial expressions should have said something through the oh there's a couple i met i made eye contact with the lady next and we both gave an eye roll just to tell each other it wasn't us but somebody let it through and i'm like if this fart's getting through joey diaz farted on a plane it was so bad i wrote a story about it i did i wrote a fucking it's called

happy pills it's probably still out there on the internet somewhere it was on my blog but he wrote he cut a fart that was so bad and i was in the middle of like thinking about i was like thinking about life and people getting older i was like thinking like and i was listening to jimmy hendrix and i was high and uh and he cut this fart and this lady behind us goes oh my god and he starts laughing he starts laughing and I put my shirt over my face I'm like oh my god it was so bad it was so bad oh it's the worst summer's so powerful look at that if a fart can make it through pants how can a mask protect you from a virus? Exactly.

That's what I'm saying. Who wrote this article? Johnny Farkzalot. Like a Yahoo News thing. The fart particles are way smaller, apparently. Kristen May. Oh, Dr. McQueef. A thousand times smaller.

Dr. McQueef. Fart particles are smaller than the virus? Yeah, that's why. Hmm. Wow. Tiny, that's why. Hmm. Wow. Tiny, stinky fart molecules. C43SH is a rather small molecule with a diameter around... Oh, my God.

They've measured farts. Yeah, this is science. By comparison, viruses typically range in diameter for... Okay, much larger. COVID-19 being about 60 to 140 nm. I don't know what that means. Nanometers? Nanometers?

I'm not sure. Okay, so farts are smaller. Yep. The virus is 100 to 1,000 times bigger than a fart molecule. What about if a virus goes through farts? Oh, wait a minute. Hold on. Go back to that. They explain how N95 masks work. Look at that.

N95 masks is capable of filtering 95% of test aerosol containing the average particle size of 300 nm. Basically, N95 mask has a tight weave pattern with multiple layers that serve as a barrier to larger structures like viruses or simply spittle.

Yeah. That works. That stuff works. There's a reason doctors wear that stuff for all sorts of things, right? Keith Robinson once, a good pal and comedian, we were at Del Frisco's across from Radio City Music Hall. It's a steakhouse. Del Frisco's?

Yeah, it's a great place. Great place. Huge. It's two floors, but there's no ceiling over the first floor dining section so it's just like i don't know 50 feet high in the air we had this big dinner the steak dinner i mean it's a massive place with huge ventilation like you could do a show there now for in the middle of a pandemic and everyone would be safe and he farted on our way out of there. He crop dusted the whole place. Other tables were putting napkins over their faces,

dropping silverware. It was that bad? It was that bad. Just toxic. What was he eating? I don't know. It's usually a mixture of things. He's decaying.

What's that? It's a mixture of things. It's usually like when you mix broccoli and meat. Whoa. Or some beans. Some beans. Following that up. No, it's disgusting.

No, but I was. But by the way, I leave... The reason I started even looking at the perception of it all and trying to look at it in a global way is because it is confusing. This whole thing is very confusing. And that we're in the middle of an election makes it so confusing because everyone's using whatever little information they have to their advantage. But there's also the confusion of I'm in L.A., I go to LAX. Joe, I could have gotten there five minutes before my flight.

I'm the only guy going through security. I walk right up to the gate and get on the plane. Like, no wait at all. No traffic going down. No wait at all. That's unheard of. And I land in Denver. It's like it's 2018.

Packed. You know that big... Yeah, that's real America, Tom. That's what I was telling you. I know. You're living in this bullshit, liberal, communist, Marxist, phony state. It's a nation state. And it's controlled by a dictator named Gavin Newsom.

And he wants you to be poor. Why would he want me to be poor? Because he wants more hair. He wants to use your money to grow his hair thicker. You ever see his sexy shot? Get a sexy shot? You ever saw the sexy shot? Who was the woman that he used to date who's now on the Trump...

Oh, that was his wife. Yeah. Donald Trump Jr.'s girlfriend is his ex-wife. Yeah, which I had no idea. Did you ever see the sexy shot that they made together? Before he ruined San Francisco, they were together. Yeah, where they're laying on like a bear skin rug. Oh, no.

Oh, yeah, they call them the New Kennedys, Jamie. You got it? Oh, boy. Oh, who let them take that picture? Why would you do that? It's funny that Jimmy Kimmel used that. Why would you do that? Is that hilarious?

Who said yes to that? would you do that it's funny jimmy kim will use that why would you do that is that hilarious who who said yes to that what serious politician poses on the floor with your knee up the kind that wants to wreck a whole state we've got to get the lockdown i have to say when he was giving the speeches in the beginning of the lockdown i I liked hearing him. Well, he sounds good. He does sound good. He's a handsome man. He looks very distinguished. His voice is good.

He's a little raspy. But the draconian laws, these draconian enforcements, the way they're handling it, it's just... What state do you think is handling it the right way? Like, where do you think it... Who's got kind of, like down florida you think they're like buck wild let's go florida doesn't give a fuck disney world you're open jimmy buck concert you can do whatever you want you could we could do stand-up in an arena in florida and i'm not kidding i know no social distancing no mass requirement now what's happening to their

numbers they did this what two weeks ago they're fine everyone's getting stronger and younger they're going they're going back in time you never get any older and you never die they look better than they have ever looked

they're the only ones free in this whole country they're the most American people in America freedom is kind of overrated don't you think listen to this

fucking communist they got you beaten down I understand you have a mortgage you gotta stay in California. You're trying to swallow the Kool-Aid. You're taking it down in sperm-like chunks. You're just trying to swallow it.

And it's the chunky sauce of Gavin Newsom. You're sucking it down your pipe right now. But there's no difference. What's the difference? Restaurants? You can't go to comedy clubs. You can't go to restaurants. You can't go to movie theaters. You can only go to comedy clubs in certain places. You can't go to comedy clubs. You can't go to restaurants. You can't go to movie theaters.

You can only go to comedy clubs in certain places. You can't go to retail stores. You can go to retail stores. You can't go to any retail store in a mall that doesn't have an outside entrance. What? Yes. My wife was just at the mall. Yes.

You can go to Nordstrom's because they got an outside entrance. She went to Kiehl's, which is inside. Well, unless they've changed it recently. That's how it was before. Oh, it's a whole euphoria now. You've got to come. You've got to move back. It's amazing now.

He's a propagandist. I told you, Jamie. I told you we can't have him on. He's done. He's got a fever. I just got tested. I know you are negative, but I want to test your forehead. I want to see if you've got something else.

I want to see if you have a fever. What is the difference between la and i'm asking this honestly because i i was kind of trying to figure it out because i honestly all fucking around people are less scared here yes they're first of all they're way friendlier here yeah they it's just it just seems more relaxed you can work you can go to work you wear a mask and you go to work right and it i mean i'm sure there are some cases but deaths are way down everywhere in the country you know that yeah they used to be climbing and climbing climbing now it's like it was 2,000 208,000 people now it's 209,000 people when you're dealing with 320 million plus people it's a relatively small

number of people dying from it so they have the remedies better they have the treatment the different treatments better yeah for sure you know it still sucks i don't want to get it but everybody that i know that's got has kicked it pretty easy except michael yo and michael yo was in a bad state when he got it he was really run down right but broken down yeah he'd been traveling a lot and he has low vitamin d admittedly he wasn't taking vitamin D, which is apparently a big factor in your immune system. I do feel like that's probably...

The places that I've been, they're not ignoring it. It's not Florida. You can't ignore it. They're not ignoring it. Florida, I don't even think Florida's really ignoring it. The governor, all bullshit aside, the governor put a chart up and he was saying, the issue that we really need to concern ourselves with is people 70 plus, like 70 plus are the ones who have a significant risk of dying.

And he was saying everybody else, what we really need to consider is the people that have underlying conditions. And we need to, you know, those people, I mean, this is what should have been done all along. The people that are at higher risk should have been sheltered. Right. But shutting everything down is an economic disaster. Right's where we're at right and i just and like they shut the comedy store down when they were trying to do shows outside in the parking lot

i know with a fucking snot shield in front of everybody i know they had a big glass shield in front of the audience yeah and they still said no outside no it's ridiculous and you can open up a restaurant outside but you can't do stand-up in the parking lot of the store? I don't get that at all. Because there's literally no difference. And I've performed in a lot of places. I was in a casino in Connecticut. And everyone's wearing masks.

Everyone's doing the right thing. I'd rather catch COVID than do a casino in Connecticut. I'm not proud of it but i'm not i'm not proud of it but i just had to know i had to go see my family and uh my hegan son and uh i mean doing the shows was so great oh the comedy store uh documentary i got to see it for my radio show i got to see all the way through they sent it to me in advance it's really good it's heavy it's really great it's there's a real depth to it your part is amazing and i it's just amazing like what you did for that club was yeah everybody kind of knows like how you had such an impact on it.

But actually seeing it, you know, we're with you all the time. But seeing in a documentary style, starting with the mensia of it and getting to now, man, it made me want to kiss you right on the lips. Is that a threat? He's threatening me now. Jesus, Jamie. Really, Joe. He's come here. It really is that a threat he's threatening me now jesus jamie really he's come here it really is such a great thing because to have such a historic place that was so bright and great and then really decimated and fell on its ass and you're really the force that brought it back to this was like oh it was it was just great it was so great and watching your story was really really

cool oh thanks man yeah it was heavy it was weird to make i cried a bunch of times thinking about It was just great. It was so great. And watching your story was really, really cool. Oh, thanks, man. It was heavy. It was weird to make. I cried a bunch of times thinking about Mitzi. Yeah. Yeah, man. Thinking about the old days.

But what it was like to come there, just to be a paid regular there. It's such a polarizing place. So many people have a negative impression of it because it's such a difficult club. And there's so many people have a negative impression of it because it's such a difficult club and there's so many killers there and a lot of people just didn't feel like they got the respect that they deserved there but it's it's not the case you just it's you needed a higher level it's hard you you're going up you're on a lineup with 15 murderers and everyone's killing in front of you and there's a lot of people that would go there and they would have like sort of mediocre sets and they would be upset because they had a career. Like they'd be on television shows.

Sure. They'd be doing things. Yeah. And the comedy store would be like, oh, you know, we don't have any spots for you. They'd be like, what the fuck? And they would harbor this terrible resentment and they would talk about it.

Like years later, they would say, you know, I had to prove myself at that place. It's like, hey man, everybody had to prove their self at that place. Everybody. they don't give a fuck if you're on a tv show they don't give a fuck no one cares no and it's it's not a it's not an easy place just like take the booking out of it yeah getting up and performing in any of those rooms you got to be good you gotta bring and you not only have to be good you have to learn that room all those rooms it's tough yeah it's a tough place but the exciting thing is the people that do come through

and then the people that are coming up like laura beats like annie letterman like all the all these young kids that are coming up so great ali mckoski and then you know you have these people that are you know they're there and established and looking to break through like tony hinchcliffe yeah guys who are killers yeah and there's so many of them and it makes you like if you can stick it out it really does make you but for some people like they like the UCB they liked these places where they could go comforting everything was relaxed everybody's supporting yeah it was loves you it was a lower level of comedy and the audience was a little bit more enthusiastic about laughing yeah Yeah, no one's going to bomb.

There's also a darkness to the store that's undeniable, and I think it comes from it being Ciro's nightclub, because it was Bugsy Siegel's nightclub, and people were legitimately murdered there. I know. That is 100% fact. People were murdered at the comedy store. Yeah, who owns Ciro's?

Was that Mafia? Bugsy Siegel. Bugsy Siegel owned it? Bugsy Siegel owned Ciro's. Oh. Dude, there was old school pictures. There's old school pictures of Ciro's that are amazing. Where you could see the stage where we perform on, but instead Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin

are on that stage. Amazing. Yeah, doing a live show. Now, what is that? Because there are places that the place doing a live show now what is that because there are places that the place has a magic to it yeah right there are places that just undeniably succeed and there's other places that never really get it going and i'm talking about restaurants or a hotel or just like there's some there's a magic to certain i think spots

things have memory rupert sheldrake believed this he believed that uh he's uh an intellectual i forget what his actual discipline is is he a biologist what is what is rupert sheldrake's a mathematician i forget what exactly he does but he has this concept that everything has memory and he he believed in this thing called morphic resonance that all these things are connected in some sort of indescribable unmeasurable way but i'm probably butchering that but he also believes that things have memory a type of memory and this is the reason why people don't want to live in a house where someone was murdered right yeah and you could feel it yeah you don't want to buy a car that someone blew their brains out in right you know

what i mean yeah remember that movie stephen king movie christine yeah awesome better better book book book's fucking incredible yeah i hate when people say that but it really is yeah it's more i never read the book is way more in depth and it just it's a slower process of the kid who owns the car going crazy oh nice yeah and it's um you know someone died in the car process of the kid who owns the car going crazy. Oh, nice. Yeah, and it's, you know, someone died in the car. The guy who owned it haunted the car. So great. I think that was the story, that someone died in the car. So great.

No, things definitely... Yeah. Like, you wouldn't even want to buy an asshole's car. Like, if you had some person who was really mean, who was a real shitty person, you wouldn't buy their car, driving around their car no like when you go look like when you go to buy a car or buy a house there you walk in and you know that you if it fits you yes that's a thing sure it's a vibe that's uh you get it yeah you know there's something there there's something beyond

what you're seeing yeah like if you buy a house and you meet the owner and you get along great with them you're real friendly like that's that's a nice feeling yeah you're like oh we bought mike's house yeah exactly there's a little story to it yeah and that's the thing with the store there is really a long story of show business yeah in that spot and it's it is it's got many edges to it, which is just like comedy. The thing that I loved about the store is not just that it's this historic place where all these great comics started out, like Kinison and Richard Pryor and all these people made their mark there. But it's also a place where everybody worked out. So there's failure in that room, too. There's the potential for failure.

It's not a place where you film things all the time, and everything's perfect, and it's all polished. You work. It's a gym. Right. It's got edge to it. And it's got, you know, there's people went up on stage there too drunk. They went up coked up.

Right. They failed. They got up coked up. Right. They failed. They got in fights with audience members. Yeah. It's got so much humanity to it. The coolest part, I think, of the old crew was watching the Jim Carrey stuff. of the old crew was watching the Jim Carrey stuff, how he was kicking ass and pretty successful in killing in the room and then changes his act and sucks for a long time.

He's leaving the impressions and going into other stuff. I mean, the balls of that. And you just see him in the hallway. There's pictures of him just sweating. He's just drenched. He doesn't know what he's doing but that they supported him and let him do that in that room like that because you know when you're there people are throwing fastballs everyone's great and everyone's killing and then you've got to be humble to get up there and really stick to your guns yeah and try your new shit and suck and when you saw the old guys that aren't really around anymore,

was it Tim Thomerson? Is that one of them? You saw these guys that- That they said was like a killer. It seemed like a killer. Yeah. But you realize like, oh, these guys come in waves.

I know. You know? I mean, there's these guys that if you don't know any better, like you might not know who Rick Ingram is. Right. But you might not follow that motherfucker. Right.

And he's throwing some 94 miles an hour right down the pipe. Woo! You're there with your new notes. Good luck, bitch. Yeah. Or, you know, you might go on after Sarah Silverman murders. Yeah. Or you might go on after Eliza Schlesinger gets a fucking standing ovation.

Yeah. That place is crazy, man. I know. And it was filled with good feelings and bad feelings. And there was a lot of emotions. And there was a lot of arguments. And there was a lot of emotions and there was a lot of arguments and there was a lot of tension. But the last few years was the most camaraderie, the most warmth and supportive that I've ever felt it there.

Oh, 100%. And I think I attribute that to the internet. I attribute that to the podcast because I felt like it was a time of bounty. It wasn't a time of famine and in the past it was everyone had this famine mentality because like if you got a sitcom and I was trying out for the same part I felt like you took something from me like fuck There's only one part in the sitcom and Tom got it or if you were trying out for a game show Or you're trying out for a talk show Yeah, and there's you know five of us are out for it and one of us gets it so there's this weird creepy competitiveness

right and if you were on a morning radio show and then there was a guy who was across town that was on the radio the same time you weren't his buddy right like we're friends right and we also have podcasts and i tell people listen to tom papa's podcast right listen to tom papa's radio show listen to fortune femston and tom papa on on serious yeah they're both great there's a camaraderie there's a different thing now it's very true support each other like i don't think of you and fortune as being competitors i think you've been my friends oh you should what fortune says about you oh no oh no fortune i love you fortune i love you why why but there's none of that in this community like everybody does everybody's podcast great that's a great insight it's never happened

before no never been like that before no yeah i mean even when we started guys helped each other before a little bit but only if it didn't hurt them right now you don't have to worry about it hurting you it only helps you and like if I help you it only helps me because people know you're funny and they go oh I can listen to Joe because every time he tells me about a comic I know they're funny right cuz he's telling the truth that's right and I've had people ask right I can't do it sometimes people get real edgy when they don't get a response i have to hide i have to filter myself i have to change my phone number that's where

jamie comes in he's no jamie he should insulate good luck getting through jamie jamie's fort knox motherfucker you ain't getting through that wall i think about jamie every time something technologically doesn't work i'm like, Jamie can fix this in a second. He'll figure it out. But as far as getting through to him to get to the show, he is the least approachable. It's impossible. I remember when I got a pilot or something early on, and Greg Giraldo Geraldo, my friend, said we all went out to dinner with Esty and Manny from the Comedy Cellar

and Greg and his wife and myself and my wife and Greg took me aside and he said, dude, this is how much I love you. I am genuinely happy for you. I know people say like, oh, I'm happy for you. But it was so unusual to truly be happy for other comedians that he had to take me aside and say, no joke. I am so happy for you.

And he didn't have his own ego involved. He didn't have any of that. And at that time, you're right. That was an unusual position to be in. It was rare. There's only a few friends that I had that we were real tight like that all throughout comedy, like Joey Diaz for sure, Ari Shaffir. Always rooting for him.

Always. Duncan Trussell. There's a lot of those guys that I was real tight with from the beginning. Yeah. But Greg was, or Greg Giraldo, not just Fitzsimmons, just such a smart person. Just an interesting person. You know, I was really lucky. I knew Greg from new york but

we also were on the set together because uh news radio was being filmed right next to his show when when he had common law right we were on the same set oh wow so i would hang out with him all the time we'd go out in the parking lot i'd run into him we knew each other from la that's great from new york you know that was a fun time and also the John Larroquette show was there too. I'm pretty sure. Oh, yeah? Wasn't Lenny Clark on the John Larroquette show? That sounds familiar.

I'm pretty sure Lenny Clark was on that show. Yeah. Something. Yeah, it sounds familiar. But that was there too. Was it Lenny Clark? Was he on that show? Sorry, I misspelled Larry.

I think. Yeah, that's a hard one. Good luck spelling that. Lenny Clark was on that show I think yeah that's a hard one good luck spelling that Lenny Clark was on that in TV shows such as Concert of the Rob and John Larroquette show

yes okay so Lenny was there too I'm trying to remember it but I didn't run into Lenny as much but I ran into and also

you know who else was there Joey Lawrence oh really yeah Joey Lawrence we used to sit in his car With his fabulous hair I was always so jealous Of his hair

Cause it was right When my hair was really Like struggling And uh He would sit in his car And he was like Fucking 12 years old Yeah

There's Lenny Clark Oh yeah look at him I love that motherfucker God What a force Yeah And Ron Funches That's not Ron

Oh Son of a bitch. He looks like Ron. He's so much older than Ron. Shut up. Be mean to Ron. Lenny Clark! So they were right next door.

And Joey Lawrence, his show was there. And so he would sit in his car. He was like fucking 12 years old or something. And he had some ridiculous... He was probably 20. But he had some ridiculous... He's probably 20. But he had some ridiculously expensive car that I could never afford. And he'd be playing his own music. Yeah.

So he had his door open. And he'd be sitting there jamming to his own music really loud. His own music? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'd be like, look at that guy living the life. All I could think of Is like How many girls Must be throwing themselves At Joey Lawrence

Oh my god He's there Playing his own music There he is Look at him Look at his hair It's beautiful I've never had hair that good

Ever I had it for like a week When I was seven My hair wasn't that thick Yeah Like this Yeah It's great

There he is Yeah that 80s Like graffiti in the back and the big jackets he looks like madonna he does look like madonna he looks like madonna he's got this why does he have this shirt tied around his waist i feel like you could give that to shirts you're filming hand that shirt off to somebody is that like a look see joe that's why you were never a heart throb you don't understand the intricacies there's a, that's why you were never a heartthrob. You don't understand the intricacies. There's a lot of reasons why I was never a heartthrob. I'm not good looking, you know. He's adorable.

It's a different look that he's got. Oh, I love picturing him in his car listening to his own music. Yeah. It's so great. That's what he would do. And we would be like, well, look at that kid. Living the life. Living La Vida Loca. look at that kid living a life living la vida loca i remember that when greg was doing that show

he had this guy that was running the show who was just like we didn't you know you didn't know anybody from la who wrote shows so they just matched him up with some guy and he came by the cellar and and i met him and i was just like you know when you meet people who like they just don't give a shit like you could tell he was just getting paid and it's just another pilot he's gonna have 50 more he's already done 25 and he was we were like you know you should really do this for greg and he's just like yeah and he just knew in his eyes like this guy's not really gonna help greg well people don't know what we're talking about but we should try to explain that there was a time where you would go to the montreal comedy festival and you get a

development deal yeah and this is like everybody would cash in you go get a development deal and then you they would try to do a pilot yeah and i knew so many people that lost their fucking minds when they got deals to do a pilot i had a a phone call from this guy, and I'm not going to say his name, but he was a terrible comedian. He calls me up and he says, hey, listen, I know you've got a show that you're working on right now, but I'm telling you, my show is going to go to air, and I want you to play my brother. I was like, what?

He's like, I know it's a smaller show, but this show is guaranteed to air. Never aired. Of course not. And he starts telling me all these crazy things, like there's a guaranteed pickup, and if this doesn't pick up, then NBC Universal's got second position, and they're going to pick it up.

He was drinking the Kool-Aid. It was like the craziest conversation. It's hard the first time around. Nothing ever happened for him. Nothing. Nothing ever happened for him. When I mean nothing, I mean nothing. I mean, that went away, and then he never really had a stand-up career, never had anything. Who was it again? him nothing nothing ever happened for him i'm what i mean nothing i mean nothing i mean that

went away and then he never really had a stand-up career never had anything who was it again i'm not saying but the conversation was so bizarre yeah because he called me up i was in the middle of filming something and he was telling me listen forget that bullshit yeah i've got a thing this is gonna go it hits people's egos it hits so many people yeah with that ego i knew someone who all of a sudden had an assistant i'm like why do you have an assistant like what do you i don't have an assistant plane right i tell people don't get an assistant do less shit if you ever need an assistant smart just do less things sarah says that too sarah silverman says smart lady yeah that's that's the move yeah do less Right. You don't need a fucking assistant.

Like, what are you doing? Some people like it. It's the ego stroke of it. Exactly. They know that famous people have assistants. Someone shows up with a pad. Would you like, Tom? Latte?

Latte? Grande? Grande latte, Tom? Yeah, coming up with stuff for them to do. But the problem with assistants is sometimes they taser you. Like David Spade's assistant. Yeah. No, I know.

Fucking guy tried to kill him. There's a lot of those stories that guy wanted to kill him too close yeah way too close yeah he well maybe david wasn't nice to him i mean let's just no i mean probably not that big a stretch to say he felt a little demeaned i mean i don't know what happened i'm'm sure he just, he could misconstrue space. Could be. Just his attitude. The smug asides. Yeah, that's how he talks.

He just thought he was serious. He thought he was serious, exactly. It was just jokes. Just jokes. But that was a heady time. I kind of just missed that time. Because that was the way for comedians was the sitcom. That was the Roseanne, the Seinfeld.

Exactly. Everybody was convinced that that was what you needed to do. That was the sitcom. That was the Roseanne, the Seinfeld. Exactly. Everybody was convinced that that was what you needed to do. That was the formula. And so you would do it, and then you would get on a show, and then hopefully people would come to see you at comedy clubs. That's my strategy. I was hoping I could get a special somewhere,

and I was hoping someone would come to see me at comedy clubs. I had the thing where I just never thought i was ready for it like even when i had like my first pilot it was like yeah we'll see and like guys with huge egos would be like oh this is my thing i'm gonna make this the thing and i was always like i don't know if i'm really people might think i have a huge ego enough because it seems like i do but honestly I've never thought that anything that I was doing was going to work. Yeah. I always thought it was going to be canceled.

I never thought, like, I did jokes about Fear Factor being canceled the very moment it was on the air. And I'm like, I'm doing this show. It is not going to fucking last. They're sticking dogs on people and making them eat animal dicks. How long are we going to do this? Or even news radio. That was a great show to kind of check your ego because I was only one of eight people

and the other people, especially Phil Hartman and Dave Foley, were much more famous than me and much more talented. And it was like I had an opportunity to do an apprenticeship. I had an opportunity to learn what it's like to act. I'd never taken... I took a few acting classes, private lessons when I had gotten a development deal, but I never acted. Right.

And then all of a sudden, a couple of months later, I'm on TV. Like literally. Jeez. Very little preparation. And I'm sitting there next to Phil Hartman. That's so crazy. On a TV show. And if you watch those old news radios, it looks like it.

Like because my character had to be kind of like kind of innocent and stupid and I was like really into conspiracies, which they made. That's so funny. Because of me, because I really was really into conspiracies. They kind of turned my character that way. But while I was there, I was kind of like, huh, is this really happening? Like even while I was doing it. Well, that's what's wild about it is a lot of moments in this career oh adorable fresh face 27 year old look at that 27 yeah back then it's weird because you get into

a situation where you have to be great at it while you're learning it yeah like that is a but the thing is that but you were surrounded by good people. And it's also, it's sitcom acting. Right. And stand-up is harder than that. And I had already been doing stand-up for six years. But were you, did you believe that when you walked in there? Didn't you think this has got to be harder? No.

No, you... No, it's definitely easier. Oh, I know it is. But when you first showed up on set, weren't you scared? No. I don't know this. No, no. I thought it was easier for sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah, it was definitely easier because you could do it again. Like you did in front of a live audience if you fucked up. Like we fucked up all the time. We would laugh about it and then we would do a retake. Right. Like I was always laughing when I would do scenes with Andy Dick.

I could never keep it together. Oh, really? I'd try to keep a straight face and I I would always crack he was so funny man I mean he's so self-destructive and so crazy but so fucking talented Andy Dick is literally one of the funniest human beings I've ever done anything with just so but you can't after a while you're like I can't I can't do this anymore you're just too crazy yeah but so talented and when he and i had this weird sort of dynamic on the show and we had these hilarious scenes together and you know and he would i was so hard to do so you'd be able to like fuck up and laugh and then the audience actually got a kick out of it yeah

because they got to see how the sausage was made right they got to see the behind the scenes because you're breaking but way easier if you fall blind they give it to you you redo it it's a hundred times easier oh it is yeah but when you don't know it yours was the ray romano role right well sort of i took the ray romano role that someone else took see what happens is ray got fired from the pilot they brought in another guy for the pilot that guy did the pilot there was another guy in the original episode of newsRadio that played me. And then they fired that guy. And then I entered into a cattle call. And there was like 100 dudes that auditioned for the part. And I wound up getting it. Wow. Yeah. Oh, all right. That's good. But I had a development deal with NBC to do my own show. Oh, so they could use your contract and put you in that? Yeah. So in the middle of the development deal they're trying to find me writers we're talking about different projects yeah and they

say to me hey we have this show we'd like you to look at and they showed me this pilot which is fucking genius and i just come from this fox show which started off really good the writers were hilarious yeah they were really good writers they wrote for for The Simpsons. They wrote for Married With Children. They were excellent. But they got fucked over hard. They brought in this producer and just ruined the show. And all these network executives are getting their fucking spittle-laden fingers all over everything. That's what's so hard. That's what's so hard is that anytime you get that many people on anything, any organization,

the idea you've got, that's where the luck comes in, that all those people are going to be cool and not ruin it. It's just something that's waiting to be ruined. Yeah, everything where you get a lot of people together and try to create an art piece, good luck.

Tough. Sometimes it works. Yeah, but you know, that's like why the great directors, you know, like the Soderberghs and the Nolans, James Camerons, they end up working withhs and the Nolans. James Cameron's. They end up working with a lot of the same people all the time. Adam Sandler does that as well.

Yeah, because you have some control over the universe. But you also know how each other works, and you all have a common goal, and you've done it before, so you know how to do it. Right, right. Or you have these people that are these super powerful figures like Cameron. Right. Who just takes control of everything. I've heard like James Cameron will grab a paintbrush, give me that fucking thing, you don't know what you're doing.

And then like paint the wall because it's just like he's got a vision. And if they let him do it, you get Avatar. Right, right. Otherwise, you get fucking a bunch of other people and then you get like one of the more recent Star Wars movies. Right. You get a bunch of people trying to add this and that and use a formula. Avatar.

Avatar. You get dog shit. You get dog shit. And that was the guy, back to the Geraldo thing, when I saw that guy, I knew he was one of those guys. It was just like, ugh. And then it just ended up like, oh, that's not Greg. Well, after I did News Radio, I did have a development deal to do another show.

I think I might have had two different development deals. I had one and another one afterwards. But I was like really soured because News Radio was so good. And the directors and the producers and the actors and everyone, the writers were so fucking good. Those scripts were really great. I would read this other stuff and I'd be like, this is horrible. Yeah. I can't do it.

And also, it's the risk of the crew that we had were hard partiers that were really fun people. Like me, and Foley, and Maura, and some of the other folks on the show. We would get hammered. I mean, after the show. After the show filmed, we'd go to local bars. We'd walk to a local bar, or we'd drink on the set. We would get hammered. I mean, after the show. After the show filmed, we'd go to local bars. We'd walk to a local bar or we'd drink on the set. We would get blasted.

They were partiers, especially Foley. He loved to drink. And it was like there was a camaraderie to that. And we always felt like we were outcasts. We never made it. That show didn't become famous really until after it was canceled. Yeah. I remember thinking about writing famous, really, until after it was canceled. Yeah.

I remember thinking about writing and getting some news radio scripts from my agent. They were so funny. They were brilliant. They were so tight. Paul Simms is a legitimate genius. They were tight. Yeah. But what a cool thing to be in that kind of an environment, because a lot of times you end up playing a dad or something, and it's like you brothers your comedic brothers around you like that's like a pirate

ship it was like punk rock a little bit like we were doing this show but we knew that we were the underdogs yeah never had a good time slot we only had a good time slot once they put us on like after friends once and we were like number three like holy shit we realized that's what it takes you have to be on after a really good show how long is it on we were on for five years but the last year was the year that after phil was murdered so the last year was uh with john lovitz he took over the the hartman spot and he was a really good friend of phil's and you know he had done an episode before and so he would probably be the only guy that we would have embraced to do that. Because it was just like he sort of fit that groove.

Tough spot. God. The toughest. He's so funny. He's such a funny cat. That was the only year that we thought that it was going to come back. Yeah. Like every year we thought it was going to be canceled.

Like first year, this is not going to make it. Right. Our ratings suck. And we made it back. And then the fifth year, we were like, oh, we're doing pretty good. Canceled. Ah, the weird.

They pulled the plug on it. That's weird. What people decide to cancel and don't decide to cancel, unless you're a giant hit, unless you're like Modern Family or something like that, you really never know. You don't know. You don't know. That's a fucking great show, Modern Family.

Oh, God. I never watched it. It's really good. But my whole family got into it during the lockdown. Oh, yeah? know. That's a fucking great show, Modern Family. Oh, God. I never watched it. It's really good. But my whole family got into it during the lockdown. Oh, yeah? God, that's a good show. Oh. Talk about great writing, great acting.

So well written. I know. So well acted. So good. Yeah. Amazing. I auditioned for a role in it, and it was kind of okay. But it was, oh oh what's his name you know the husband

uh i'm just basing on his name but i it's one of those where like you audition for something and then you watch somebody who got the role and you're like oh yeah yeah he's better than me good move i love ed o'neill too oh my god i mean to to have that character to have like those two great characters like married with children and then this i know so good everyone on that is solid and the storylines are so good it's so good it's just such a well-made show and the fact that it's done that way and that funny with no audience is incredible i know you know it's all singing camera that means that there's people that are really fun that know funny yeah right because you can get in that situation and have somebody

who yeah it's funny enough that's right they don't have that level of what they know is funny do you ever watch unbreakable kimmy schmidt no one of the funniest shows on tv really amazing so good tina fey's yeah tina fey's show it's on netflix i forget who the girl is that's the redheaded girl but she the girl who plays kimmy schmidt and uh titus andromedas oh yeah the gay guy he's great fucking amazing he's so good he's a force it's a hilarious show man yeah and it's a crazy show it's a girl about a girl gets kidnapped and brought into a sex cult and locked into a bunker for 15 years. So she gets released, and she has no idea how the world works.

But she's super innocent, but really positive. It's fucking great. That's great. It's a really good show, man. I love those characters. What about Ted Lasso? Are you seeing that one now? What's that?

That's, oh, what's his name? Jason Sudeikis. No, I don't know what that is is it's on uh i think on apple uh so similar character one of those apple only shows yeah yeah those are weird like who's watching those i don't know this one seems like it's catching this one seems like yeah and he the same kind of character he's just wide-eyed and super optimistic football coach that comes to eng England to coach soccer. That's a good premise. And he's so positive.

He's just really just, you can't break this guy. And it's almost like a dumb optimism. It's great. He's so good in it. Everyone on it is good. There's too much good stuff to watch right now. I know. Oh, you know what I did want to talk to you about?

Yeah. I watched The Social Dilemma. Oh, geez. Dude. You know. That's a to talk to you about? Yeah. I watched The Social Dilemma. Oh, geez. Dude. You know. That's a must-see, kids. I heard it's depressing. Oh, so is real life.

Because it's so real. Real life's depressing, Tom. Listen to you. Everything's going to be fine. Wear a mask. I live in communist Russia. Wear a mask. Trust me.

Gavin Newsom's penis tastes delicious. We're all going to be fine delicious we're all gonna be fine we are gonna be fine you think we exist on this plane and this plane only oh that's heavy no no because i've done a lot of drugs i think there's probably something else seen i think there's something i think there's something else out there but just unaccessible right now yeah but this social dilemma makes me very concerned about the future because all of these technologists and all these people that have invented all this stuff that now are very unhappy yeah it's really fascinating to see them discussing their own creations and

see outsiders who are also technologists who didn't didn't invent these things but are seeing the patterns of these things and understand it from a really educated perspective. They're saying this could lead to civil war. People are getting more and more divided, and it shows in the film how social media has made people far more polarized, far more divided than ever before. The red and the blue and the this and that. It's disturbing. What's the most dangerous part of it? And can it be corrected?

Well, there's a lot of dangerous parts about it, but the thought bubbles, the fact that these people get in these bubbles of thought where everybody around you thinks your way and everybody who thinks a different way is the enemy. This is a really dangerous part of the reality that we live in today because it's not what we anticipated. I thought that the internet and the age of information and all that we're experiencing right now would bring about an understanding and a nuanced perspective in life in all ways. You'd be able to see things from other people's perspectives more easily because it would be more readily available and it would be more encouraged for you to seek out all this information. But a bunch of factors that happen at the same time all have sort of made it worse than ever before. And one of them is Trump. Trump being such a polarizing figure and whether or not it know how whether or not it's justified and how much

of it's justified and how much of it is liberal propaganda and how much of it is republican propaganda when you look at the way people feel about him and the things they equate with him like they equate white supremacy and you know and anti-immigrant mentality and xenophobia and all these different things they think, and a lack of empathy, which is probably accurate, right? If you could say anything about Trump, one of the things you would say that's negative is he seems to not be empathetic. He doesn't seem to care about other people

the way you would want a leader to care about people. You don't buy it. Even when people die, like when John McCain died, he still never had any empathy for the guy. And it was just, there's so many in there. So it's so easy to look at him. And even though in his mind, he's got to be a tough guy. If people come at him, he's going to come back at them.

But this is sort of the mentality that someone takes if you're battling trolls online. You don't understand. You, as the president, you're in this rare position. You can't be responding to individuals because you're too big. You represent a different thing. You're not Donald Trump anymore. You're Donald Trump who is also the president of the United States. Yes.

And if you don't adjust the way you communicate with people and bring people together... And one of the things that Obama did brilliantly was he made you feel like America was something you could be proud of because that guy's representing you. This really articulate, super smooth statesman who seemed elegant and he seemed composed and when he would speak, regardless of his policies, regardless of the criticism you might have of his administration, the way he handled the role of president, perfect. Perfect. A plus. A plus.

No missteps. No pettiness. Right. No, I mean, I think he called Kanye jackass once. That's about it. Well, it might have led to Kanye wanting to be president. He might have fucking made Trump be president. Well, yeah.

That White House Correspondents Dinner where he shit on Trump. Yeah. And you see Trump going there. Yeah. Seth Meyers. I'm one thing you'll never be, which is President of the United States. Everyone's laughing, and he's just glaring up at the dais. No, that was a moment.

That psychopath, he took you up on that little challenge. But you take someone that has lack of empathy and doesn't really see the responsibility of the office and what he says, and you combine that with that technology, that's a dangerous combination. It is. You're asking a guy to change who he is at 73. Right. Right? Or 72, whatever he was when he got in, 71? I think he was 71 when he got in. You're asking a guy in his 70s to change who he is. And the thing that made him successful, the reason why he was in all these

rap songs like if you go back and listen to rap music in the 80s and 90s trump's name was thrown up all the time right he was that guy he was that guy with the big gold letters on his fucking building yeah and fighting with rosie o'donnell and yes you're calling her a pig and all that stuff all that stuff well that that was okay back then for some reason. He would call her terrible names on the Conan O'Brien show or whatever show he was on. Because he was a television celebrity. Yeah, but he was famous for being that guy. Right. So that guy became president, and there's always a polarization.

There's always a group of people that hate the president because they didn't vote for him, and they want him to fuck up, and they want him to to fail and they want everything that he's doing to be wrong yeah do you remember when they got mad at obama for wearing a tan suit yeah it was horrible yeah it was like his the greatest violation of the office and they made a big deal when he fist bumped his wife like why do you fucking outrage why do you fucking care about this i know he's got a nice suit on it looks good look good in that suit but it's but so so there's that right there's trump as a figurehead which accelerates everything he's he's gasoline on an already raging wildfire he loves keeping the temperature at maximum he

wants everything at a hot boil yeah and if you really feel it you know that that that's the thing of that office he could calm this situation down he could make you all relax i think he knows how to do it it's even like and he exists he's like the only one who's comfortable like you ever you ever go out with a girl who loves to fight yeah and she's only comfortable because that's the way she was raised and they get mad if you don't want to fight back yes that's him that's him he wants to fight he'll bring shit up until you take the bait and there's a fight on and then they calm down and you're you're having a nervous breakdown so it's not all his fault though there's social media and the divide

that comes and this is where the social dilemma comes in place yeah there's a divide that comes about because of the way they've engineered these algorithms, which is really disturbing. So whatever you're into, it finds those things and accentuates them because it just wants you to stay on more. It wants you to engage more. Sure. It wants you to pay attention to the things.

Now, Ari Shaffir did a little bit of a study on this, a little bit of a test, and he only YouTubed puppies. That's all he would youtube just youtube puppies just just to see what happened and all youtube would send him yeah as puppies right all they would all they would show him all they would suggest is puppies yep so this idea that they're engineering outrage is a little disingenuous because what they're really doing is finding what you're interested in and people have been shown to pay attention to what they disagree with far more than what they agree with so that's how the algorithm spits you things that you disagree with exactly because you get engaged with that you get angry oh which is that was a part of the

movie it was showing how things that people disagree with things that make people upset right those are the things that people are much more likely to engage with and you're like fuck you fucking liberals or fuck you you fucking racist everyone's racist right right you know it's like it's this thing that is a part of being a person where you seek especially when you don't feel like you're really you're being heard right when you're at home and you're sitting on the toilet and you're going through facebook and you see some shit about what the fucking burn the flag you motherfuckers and you start you start making these messages you're more likely to do that than seeing some beautiful

story about these parents that adopt this kid and they give him a home and he comes from a bad part of the world. Like that, you're not going to go, way to go for you. Let me write down all the amazing things about what you're doing. Isn't that terrible? Yeah, you're going to get mad. Or if you're on the left, you're going to get mad because of the wildfires. You're going to blame them on Trump and climate change and all these different things. Yeah.

You know, like, look. Gets your outrage going. Yeah. I mean, so many people think Trump's responsible for the wildfires. Listen, folks, those fucking fires were going to happen regardless of who is president. Now, whether or not he is putting in policies that's going to protect people 10, 20 years from now, that's a real argument. That's, yeah.

But the fucking fires that are going on right now are not because of Trump. It takes a long time to turn that battleship absolutely i mean it's not his fault and i'm not saying he's done good things for the environment and that's not what i'm saying he's not plotting a future that you think will help out these fires in the future right you do have to take into consideration well and here's the thing Everybody's applauding Newsom for saying that they're going to eliminate these gasoline-powered cars by 2035. You can't. But here's the thing, because you and I both have Teslas. But here's the thing.

Those batteries don't come free. You have to get lithium out of the ground. I mean, they're fucking literally staging military coups. There was a story about... See, there was a thing, there was a controversy, because Elon Musk made a tweet. And I think the tweet was something, we'll coup whoever we want to, or something crazy. He was just responding to someone. I think he was just, like, joking around about it.

But people were saying, here it is, we will coup whoever we want Elon Musk in the overthrow of democracy in Bolivia it probably should have said that he's probably joking around but the idea is that lithium which is a primary component of batteries batteries you're gonna need a massive amount of that shit and that shit is called conflict minerals conflict minerals one of the reasons why they call them that is because these fucking minerals are in the congo they're

they're in afghanistan they're in all these places that are you know it's it's there's a lot of people vying for them like china's trying to get into the congo diamonds yeah it's well it's a little sketchier than diamonds you're gonna need a whole lot more of it. Right. And you need it to get batteries. It's not like it's a free ride to get batteries. Yeah. But, you know, so you lose democracy in Bolivia.

At least there's no more fires. At least the air's better. I don't think it works that way. Everything's a little evil. I don't think it works that way. I think we've got to figure out how to suck carbon out of the air. They have figured that way. I think we've got to figure out how to suck carbon out of the air. They have figured that out. There's small-scale versions of these things that look like...

It looks like an air cleaner that's the size of a skyscraper. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and they've talked about implementing these things to actually extract carbon from the atmosphere. What about that soil documentary? Did you see that one where it's all about the soil? That's fucking terrifying. Like sucking...

If you heal the soil, you'll heal the earth well regenerative farming is the best way to heal the soil and there are some people that are experts on regenerative farming and regenerative farming is essentially what they're doing is farming the way they farmed thousands of years ago or hundreds of years ago the way way you're supposed to. Right. Ruminants, animals eat grass. They shit. The manure actually brings these nutrients back into the earth, and that acts as fertilizer for new plants to grow. You rotate the crops.

And it's supposed to have a carbon neutral effect when it's done correctly. The problem is we've adapted to this world where you want to pull in a jack-in-a-box, get a cheeseburger in five seconds, and that has got to be cheap meat, and cheap meat comes from factory farming, and factory farming is universally regarded as fucking disgusting. Horrible. So that way you've got trucks, and you've got all these fucking animals, and they're eating terrible food, and it's all gross. Yeah.

Like from top to bottom, it's gross. Horrible. And it's a new documentary on Netflix. I forget the name of it. What do you have? Kiss the Ground. Kiss the Ground. Really good.

Because it's kind of one of those that actually gives you some hope. You're like, well, this isn't that complex of a solution that could actually change things. What is their solution? What are they trying to do? They're trying to... Regener yeah exactly the thing about regenerative farming though is i don't know if it will work at scale like we we had joel salatin on a few well we've got him on twice but we had him on a few months back and there's a guy who doesn't give a fuck about coronavirus by the way oh really older fellow farmer healthy as just healthy as an ox drinks out of the trough where the cows drink because

he says he gets that biome into his gut. He wants that. He wants all the bacteria. Really? Yeah. Doesn't wash his hands. Doesn't get sick. That's why I feel comedians have kind of been strong because traveling or in front of all

these people, you're holding mics that other grubby comedians comedians. Well, that's the argument about prisoners, you know. Most prisoners are asymptomatic from coronavirus, which is fascinating. Yeah, because they're just surrounded by germs all the time. Yeah, you would think they're so stressed out, like here they are in fucking jail, that's about as stressful as life gets. Oh, God.

But everyone's coughing in everybody's mouth, and they're fine. Ugh. But yeah, I know. Your immune system, you know, it gets ramped up, and it goes to work. By the way, what's going on with Harvey Weinstein? He's fat and old, and he got coronavirus when he was in jail. Yeah.

Nobody heard a peep out of that guy. Yeah, because he's probably in a house in the hamptons. You never heard about that guy, right? You don't hear about him at all anymore, right? No. He's the one that started it all. There was a rapper who just got sent back to jail for social distancing violation. How about that?

Sent back to jail? Sent back to jail. Yeah. He's shot at Chief Keef. You can't be shooting him. That's what I say. He shot at him, though. He didn't shoot him.

But they sent him to jail. Then they released him because of the coronavirus. And they got pictures of him at a party, having a good old time. And it was like, oh, he's social distance violating. So they put him back in jail. What a dummy. Can you imagine that? I didn't know you can go back to jail for violating social distancing rules.

Well, this seems like a special case. Perhaps. I know, right? If you get out of jail for shooting at somebody because you might get a cold. I mean, he's a young guy, too. He'll probably shake it off like that. Yeah, exactly. Just play by the rules.

Just turn it down a notch. Yeah, if I was his lawyer, I'd be like, bro. Stay inside. Listen to me. I know you like partying, but do you have a mask? Yeah. Wear a mask when you party, like a Halloween mask. God.

They were saying that. Yeah, right, exactly. Just put on a big thing. Yeah, just pretend you're someone else. Yeah, this is the dude. Takeshi 69 ex-associate Kuda B, I like that name, headed back to prison for party stunt. Well, they're calling it a party stunt.

They were calling it a social distance violation. Oh, God. What would you think? He hasn't even been sentenced yet, apparently, so he might have got out early while he was being held. Caught on tape partying with a large group of people in a Brooklyn apartment soon after his April release. Manhattan

federal judge called the decision to have a party after receiving social distancing orders. An astonishing stunt. And he ordered CUDA receiving social distancing orders, an astonishing stunt, and he ordered CUDA to surrender to U.S. Marshals no later than 2 p.m. October 15th. So he's got some days to party. So it's only the 6th.

Homeboy's got nine days to fucking have a good old time. Jeez. Maybe we need face tattoos. Why? Do you think it'll help us? It seems like all the cool kids got them. No, we're too old, dude. Are we dude are we get a face tattoo in your art age people frown upon that do they yeah they think you're suicidal you're losing your mind maybe you get a little nice little star on your cheek a little just a little tiny one yeah yeah why not

man like the nbc thing the more you know what if you got your lips done like just real subtle like you came in your lips were darker i'd be like what's going on with your lips Tom what I don't know they were always this way like all of a sudden your lips look dark I don't know if you caught

what he was in jail for by the way shot at Chief Keef he paid someone to oh according to McKenzie's confession Takeshi69

paid that guy right to shoot at Chief Keef. Supposedly, in an attempt to scare the rival rather than seriously injure him, instead, Kuda opted to outsource the shooting to someone else, but still pled guilty to assault with a dangerous weapon in aid of racketeering, which is a maximum prison sentence of 20 years. He's only 22 years old, but likely spent the next couple of decades behind bars.

Whoa. So they're kind of gang are they gang related he was he has not yet been sentenced so he was being held with a bunch of other people who were like backed up in the court system oh so they let him out just like on bail on bail maybe he wasn't or something so like they're like well now you're not out on bail so you violate it he's going to jail for a long fucking time. I hope he got another face tattoo before he went in. He should have got a raft and gone to Cuba.

Go to Florida. Would you escape? Like if you had to go on the run, okay, you get busted for something. Maybe you didn't do it, but the fuzz is coming for you. Would it be possible to escape the law

for the rest of your life nowadays? I was talking to a man who knows things. And he was telling me Would it be possible to escape the law for the rest of your life nowadays? I was talking to a man who knows things. And he was telling me that there is technology that they're working on that's going to let them hear fully clear, completely crystal clear conversations from satellites. You mean person to person conversations? I mean you in your house having a conversation with your wife. They're going to be able to hear you from a satellite. They just tune into your house. They're going to be so bored.

I'm sure they will be, but not if they tune into Chief Keef's house. They're going to find some crazy shit going on. Really? Yes. So with GPS, they could pinpoint a house and listen to that conversation? No one's hiding. That's my point. They're closing in on everything And you're going to get to the point where

There's no hiding It's like that Tom Cruise movie Minority Report When I saw that movie it was like This is all definitely coming They were trading eyeballs That was like future crime They'd catch you before you did something.

Right, right, right. Before you did something. Yeah. That's coming. Well, if you really believe in determinism, if you could get a computer, you could devise a computer that's so powerful that it could accurately anticipate individual events

crisscrossing and compiling together to create a specific result and you knew they would force someone's hand to do something i mean it's not completely outside of the realm of possibility that one day at least they could figure it like they could figure out a likelihood of things happening right yeah yeah and then where are you gonna run bolivia you ain't going anywhere bro come on you could go to the ocean just keep walking into the ocean until you stop breathing i don't want to go to jail like what was it when the when you rat on the mafia you got to go into a house in arizona they did that for a while was it relocation or

yeah witness relocation yeah witness protection. Yeah, witness protection. Right. That worked, right? We showed Sammy the Bull Gravano did that. He's got a podcast now. I don't think you're supposed to do that. Yeah, he's third next to Hillary Clinton. She's two.

Michelle Obama's number one. Number one what? One of the ratings. He should be- On a podcast? No, witness protection, you would think but yeah like takashi 69 just said he's like i'm coming out he ratted on people yeah but what is he doing is he in witness protection at all nope he's out in new york making music videos passing like he's

literally on the street corner passing out his cds with i guess he just had how come nobody's i'll give him that but he's had to move his spot he guess he just had security. How come nobody's killing him? I'll give him that. But he's had to move his spot. He's had houses where he got ratted on. Sure. Of course they're going to rat on him. He's a rat. You're a rat.

I don't know. Very popular. Yeah, but how long before he runs out of money? It costs a lot of money to have that kind of security. Keep making it. Yeah. Keep coming up with some new beats. Yeah.

If you're going gonna get a face tattoo what kind of tattoo would you get if I was to get a face tattoo I would get I don't know a little booger

right underneath my nose be serious maybe a tattooed tear scare everybody off pretend you killed people in prison yeah let people think I killed people

no then gang members would be like no you didn't and they'd come get me that's true good call you don't want troubles maybe you don't, and they'd come get me. That's true. Good call. You don't want troubles.

You don't want to cause trouble. I'm telling you, a little star on your cheek. I like the star. Right here. Right in the upper cheekbone area. Just a little tiny star. What did Papa do? Answer questions, too.

Convicted rapist Harvey Weinstein to face new sex crimes charges. Oh, boy. 11 counts in California. Woo! This is new news. 11 counts of sexual assault in the state of California where extradition proceedings have been put on hold due to the pandemic. 11 counts. So he had three more counts, I guess, got added to it.

Three more counts of rape and other sexual crimes involving two women. He's already serving 23 years, and he's got to put a suit on and go defend himself more? Do you think if you left a gun in his cell he would just blow his brains out yeah because he doesn't think he's getting out at this point these charges keep piling up god is he in jail jail oh he's in rikers bro he's in rikers yeah yeah he got covid when he was in jail. And they didn't send him home to get healthy? No.

He's not at Rikers, but he is in jail somewhere. Wasn't he in Rikers, though, at one point? Maybe before he got sent to the Wendy Correctional Facility, Max Security. God. In New York near Buffalo. Man, oh, man. Yeah. And Cosby's in jail.

Yeah, but it's- You ever remind yourself of that as you're going about through your day? Bill Cosby. Yeah. That's such a- He's only in jail for a, but it's... You ever remind yourself of that as you're going about through your day? Bill Cosby. Yeah. That's such a... He's only in jail for a short amount of time. Is he? Yeah, which is interesting.

He's only in jail for... I believe he's in jail for one of those things that he did. Uh-huh. I believe. For a short amount of time. I don't think he's in jail for very long. I think he's in jail for like 10 years or something. Is that what it is?

It says 3 to 10 in state prison. Yeah. 3 to 10, so he'll be... So he could get out on parole and still be alive, but he's almost blind, too. Next year would be parole. He was in jail. Next year. September 25th, 2018.

Still won't admit he did anything. God. Hold strong. Yeah. Yeah, he seems insane. Yeah. He seems completely insane. He was out at a barber

shop before he went they put him in uh and uh i don't know if he was on parole or on appeal or i'm not on parole on bail or on appeal but he was uh at a barber shop like uh with these guys and they made a video of it it's it's so strange because he's acting as if nothing happened. Bill Cosby interviewed. He expects to serve full 10-year sentence rather than say sorry. Wow. Jeez. So he was just at the barbershop acting like he wasn't going? He was holding court. That's what he does.

He was holding court at a barbershop, and they were talking about bands, like what guy was in what band. Yeah, and they doing talking trivia and he's probably doing the same thing in jail i wonder i bet i bet he's i bet he's got a lot of fans in jail i wonder how he's treated there you know yeah i'm sure there he is that's him at the barbershop play some of that give me some volume the original okay so it is so he's got that sweater on that says hello friend, friend. He's talking jazz. Yeah. That's Alonzo Brodin's older brother.

Come on, tell me that guy doesn't look like Alonzo Brodin's older brother. Yeah. Have you any money on you? He wants to bet him. They're talking shit.'s hit for one kidney job Just hold in court He's talking about jazz musicians Who made this post?

Bill Cosby himself Bill Cosby hangs out DeMarco's hair artistry And they have to put in quotes Barbershop In brackets Yesterday with friends January 21st 2018 And they have to put in quotes, barbershop, in brackets. Yesterday with friends, January 21st, 2018.

Look at his hashtags. Go Eagles, Philadelphia. Wow. That's crazy. That's weird. Wow. God, what a weird story. Man, oh man.

So he thinks that it was just, he was just with some ladies. That's in his head. Right? Dude, when I was on news radio, we heard about him. Yeah. We had heard about him drugging people. You did? Yeah, it was a rumor.

It was always a rumor. It was always a thing that people had heard. They knew someone who knew someone. They knew something. It was always out there. So when Hannibal Buress was on stage and he was talking about that that was not something that was unknown no i mean he said in his set right just google it yeah and then that's what starts it all which is just bananas one set that someone films on their phone yeah gets up on youtube and everybody's like, wait, what? And everybody outside the industry.

Woke up. Goes, Cosby? Cosby? Bill Cosby. Like the Cosby show. Like America's dad. Right. Like the Jell-O pudding guy.

That guy. The adorable guy. Ugh. So awful. I wish you could read a person's mind. 2014. Yeah. When that happened. With Hannibal?

Yeah. Ooh. I wish you could read a person's mind Yeah Like I really want I really want to know I want to know Imagine

Sounds like those satellites Are going to do it They're going to hear your mind And hear your words Yeah But I think I don't think we're too many decades away From being able to actually read your mind

You think? Someone was convicted of a crime In India Back in the day And we covered this When I did that Joe Rogan questions everything show because of fMRI. fMRI is functional magnetic imagery.

And I think that's the right terms. But basically, it's reading the mind and reading patterns. And they decided that this person, I think it might have been a woman, was convicted of a crime because they had functional knowledge of the crime scene. Now, this was in another country. I believe it was in India. And I talked to a neuroscientist in America, and they said, you would never accept this in America because functional knowledge of a crime scene could be obtained by just examining evidence. Like if you were charged, if someone charged you with a murder, said, Tom, I know you killed that guy. And you're like, what? And then they show you the photos.

You would have access to the information. And if you have that in your head, like thinking, oh my God, someone killed this person and now they're blaming it on me. How could they think I did it? And you could possibly have functional knowledge of where it happened and what happened just based on someone describing to you what you've been charged how do you find out if someone has functional knowledge they don't really know this like in it you know in italy people were charged that um were seismologists because they didn't warn people in time. For an earthquake that took place. Right. Yeah because they're Italians.

Fucking. Hey. They don't know. They don't know no better. So they charge people. Now in America you could never charge a seismologist. I believe that's true. See if that's true.

If that was in Italy. I'm asking you to Google a lot of shit. That seems like so. That may or may not be real. It seems so so like early like other century like she's a witch that's why it rained she's a witch actual you know seismologists and scientists all over the world were aghast because like well you can't fucking charge people with not warning you about something that's utterly unpredictable. Italian seismologists cleared of manslaughter.

Okay, so they were charged. They came to their senses. Six scientists did not cause deaths in 2009. But what's crazy is that that actually went to court. So these poor guys had to defend themselves in court that they should have known that this earthquake was coming. This is how dumb. That is old world, isn't it? That's very old world. Hey, I'm going to eat my spaghetti and the fucking earth starts moving. The earthquake was coming. This is how dumb. This is old world, isn't it? That's very old world.

Hey, I'm going to eat my spaghetti. The fucking earth starts moving. The earthquake. That guy's got a Geiger counter. How much I pay that guy? How much I pay him? Who's the guy with the Geiger counter? What is it?

Get him. How come he don't know? We're both Italian. We can get away with talking like this. He should have told me. Do you know I look like a famous Italian film star? Who? Carlo Verdone.

How much do you look like him? Could you go over there? I got into a taxi cab in Rome, and this kid fell out. It was like a 22-year-old kid was just like, Verdone's in my cab! Verdone's in my cab! And he called his family. Oh, my God. He made me get on the phone with

him oh my god that's pretty close right what do you think i think it's insulting you should be mad that guy looks like he's 10 years older than you and he's gonna die tomorrow well he is older but he's like he's he's one of the comedic actors. Make that face. What's in the bowl, bitch? That one's pretty close. That's pretty close. Give me a smile with your lips closed. Wow.

Is it close? Very. Very. This kid lost his mind. He's like, Verdoni's in my... It took me the whole ride to convince him i wasn't someone didn't have a phone on them where they couldn't google the actual verdone look you could probably pull it off right right i bet i'm gonna go find him i like that one with the pointing at you the glasses like he's a badass yeah that's me and my sunglasses bro carlo Carlo Verdone Verdone Carlo Verdone

That's you bro I wish I spoke Italian It's not that hard It's not like you want to breathe underwater You lazy fuck Get a nap I wish I could do something That I don't do right now

That other people do easily I don't think right now that other people do easily. I just don't have the energy. No, I don't think my brain can handle it. Do you think you can learn a whole language right now? Of course I could. No way. Of course I could. I don't want to, but of course I could.

While you're living your life here, not going over to Italy and... Yes, you could. It would just require a lot of time. A lot of time. There's no real reason for you to do it. Right. Look, if I had a wife and she was Italian and she was require a lot of time. A lot of time. There would have to be a real reason for you to do it. Right. Like, if I had a wife and she was Italian, she was talking a lot of shit. The way you said it, though, you don't need to learn the whole language.

Like, we don't know the whole English language. We know a good portion of it and how to talk with it, but we don't know the whole thing. Talk with it. Exactly. Apparently, Russian is a really hard one to learn. I took that in freshman year in college. It's not as hard as you think. But what about the writing?

No, they just have a couple blocky letters. But, It's not as complicated. Yeah, there's something about it that's... They say that English is much harder than Russian. Yeah, like learning it the other way is really that's interesting yeah russians have a hard time learning english english can learn russian better right right i only took it for a semester and the guy let you take the test as many times as you needed to pass but really it wasn't that mind-blowing yeah really i would think just the language itself the written language would be really hard it's really cool it's fucking cool looking yeah it is really cool my uh daughter is

studying italian in college yeah and it's like every day you have to take it five days a week it's pretty immersive that's how you learn it yeah that's the move right if you go to an immersion school and you have to teach... They teach every class in the language. They don't speak any English to you. Yeah. Or go live in Rome, pretend you're Verdone. Fitzsimmons kids went to a Spanish immersion school. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. And they learned it. Yeah, you just learn. You know, you speak Spanish every day. You have to do it all the time. It's just that thing. That's so funny. I wish I could learn something that other people know that I can learn. It is lazy. It's not lazy.

Well, listen. I'm busy. You could do it. I have a lot of stuff going on. It would require many hours a day, many days in a row, probably for years before you got adept at it yeah and you it could be done but how long until i was uh like a get by on a trip i don't know i can't i can't speak another language i have no idea you know there's those rosetta stone commercials they promise yeah get like fairly good at it in like 90 days or something yeah i think you have to put a lot of time into it yeah i think you're better anything else being retired but isn't there a thing with the brain like that

if you learn it when you're like yeah 14 it's much easier than when you're 50 i think it's younger i think it's really young when you're really young kids i mean think about how quick kids speak english yeah right like uh my daughter one of my daughters was speaking really young she was at one years old she's speaking in full sentences it was really weird like she's really smart yeah but at one years old she would ask me questions daddy what is this and why is that and then right right there is one one imagine you speaking full italian in one year yeah that'd be crazy that would be crazy man that would be fun though yeah i just want to be able to handle myself in a restaurant yeah like really well be able to talk about the

wine well google has these earbuds that will trans they will translate languages in real time oh yeah yeah so with this google app you can someone can talk to you. As long as they speak clearly, like clear enough for it to transcribe, they will be able to say it back to you in real time. Will be able to or can't be able to? No, can. I'm pretty sure it's the Pixel Buds, Pixel Earbuds. See if that's... That's pretty cool.

That's true. Yeah. That's really great. You know, it's interesting, right? That's true. Yeah. That's really great. You know, it's interesting, right?

Like there's arguments for both Android and Apple. And one of the arguments for Apple or one of the arguments for Android rather. Here it is. Right. It is. Yeah. How to turn. Then say, help me speak Spanish to launch conversation mode on the translate app. When you're ready to speak to someone in another language, press and hold the earbud and speak in your native language. Good afternoon. What are the menu specials today?

Oh, the phone takes it over for you. Tap the microphone under the language you'd like translated when they're ready to respond. When the person responds, the translated message will play directly into your pixel buds to learn more visit the google pixel buds that ain't working that's he talks and it's enough to make a drug transaction i can't even get it cocaine i uh there is not one time when i transcribe just in my English to my text where it nails it. Well, Google is better. Yeah?

They're much better at it. Yeah. And I use my Apple. I have an Apple phone and I have an Android phone. Oh, you do? My Apple phone is my primary phone. And I use my Android phone more to fuck around with than anything. But I'm fucking around with a few things on it.

And one of the things is how well it picks up your voice and how well it transcribes it. So here's the argument. Apple is much better with your privacy. They're much better with your privacy. Like when you use Apple Maps, it's not sending your data to anyone. But it's one of the reasons why Apple Maps is not as good. Google Maps are better better because they're sharing it it's just better they just it's they're getting data constantly from you they're getting

data from all the other drivers they're sharing that data they're compiling that data and they're also sending ads your way to profit off of this to make it profitable so because of that because google is just sucking up data constantly they can provide you with better services so they have an amazing search engine they have but that was one of the things about the social dilemma the search engine gives different results based on where you are like say if you type... They use an example of climate change. Like, if you write climate change is, it might say a hoax, or climate change is a terrible threat, depending on where you live. Like, you do it in California, it might give you one thing, but if you live in Waco, Texas, it might give you another thing. Yeah, and it's based on what it thinks you want to see. That's crazy.

It's not good. That's not good. It's crazy. It's not good. That's not good. It's just reinforcing people's dumb ideas. That's why I use DuckDuckGo. DuckDuckGo does not do any of that stuff. And it also gives you things. It doesn't send your data somewhere. It protects your privacy.

So you put climate change is on DuckDuckGo. No, I put chicks with dicks. Whoa! No one knows. No one knows. I got a burner phone with DuckDuckGo. No, I put chicks with dicks. Whoa! No one knows. No one knows. I got a burner phone with DuckDuckGo on it. You put whatever you want. It's just the results are not curated. Right.

So it's just giving you the most applicable results for the things that you're looking for, but it's not doing it in a way where it's curating it for your own interest. Like, if you try to find things that are controversial, and we've tried to find that on the podcast before, where Jamie will Google something, and I'll know it to be correct, but Google will not show that it's correct, because maybe the correct answer is not politically correct. So you have to go through several pages, and maybe you even have to Google it in a very specific way to get to the heart of the science behind what's wrong with the consensus opinion. The consensus opinion might be wrong.

That's the case with a lot of nutrition things. It's the case with a lot of things regarding anything controversial, anything where there's a political motive to sway the argument one way or the other. It's so amazing how deep you have to dive to cross reference stuff yeah to really try and assemble a truthful opinion it's it's weird so hard so with all this stuff like do you do the and you have all these people from twitter and google and stuff who are saying like what we did or facebook that was horrible and yeah we really kind of f things up do they feel like they can also correct this problem? I don't know if you can put the cap on the bottle.

I don't know if you can do that. The genie back in? I don't know if you can do that. I don't know if they know it either, because they didn't think it was going to happen in the first time. Remember, Jack Dorsey was testifying, I think it was before Congress, and he was saying that 12 years ago when we created Twitter, we had no idea that this was going to be a situation that

we had to anticipate. No one ever saw this coming. And if you go back and see the early Twitter, remember you would do the at, it would always show your name in front of every tweet. So it'd be like, at Tom Papa is having pizza. You would say what you were doing. It was really weird how people would use Twitter. Yeah.

But it was not political. It was just fun. No one knew what to do with it. And then somewhere along the line, people started figuring out how to get in arguments. I know. It's so bad. We just always ruin everything. It could be so great.

I remember when it first came out. It was like, wow, there would probably never have been slavery if there had been Twitter because people would have exposed it so early and just seemed so hopeful. But of course, all the scummy people get it and then just ruin it. It makes people scummy, too too because it makes people more polarized it makes people more aggressive in um reinforcing their idea what the truth is yeah and trying to stop other people and you're seeing so much suppression of other people's uh opinions and expression today which is so strange yeah it's just it's one of the weirdest times ever to to look at the way

human beings communicate yeah because of the tension we were talking about this earlier we never really finished the thought but you got trump then you get the pandemic and then you get the economic collapse you have all these things happening so people are they're desperate they're sad and then you've got looting and you've got the riots and you see you get racial tension you've got violence you've got this anti-police sentiment which also leads to more instability in the streets you more instability and in the cities and less safety and fear fear anxiety fear of uh fear of police fear of gangs fear fear of antifa fear of white supremacists, fear of everything. It's like all this fucking fear. And then you have people arguing online,

these really literally addicted people. People who are addicts. They're just as addicted as people who are gambling addicts, just as addicted to people that are sex addicts. They're addicted to Twitter, and they're mentally ill people, and they're constantly engaging in conflict. Right, and they're coming ill people, and they're constantly engaging in conflict. Right. And they're coming up on people's posts, and you don't know that you're interacting with mentally ill people.

Yeah. Or people from other countries that are trying to incite it. Assume you're interacting with mentally unwell people, because almost everyone who's using it in that way is, in one way or another, mentally ill. Or you put your phone in the drawer and you go to the park and all of a sudden everything calms down. And then there's no cops

because you wanted to defund the police. Everything calms down and goes away because you're not living in this weird reality. You're just living in real life and you're not participating in all of that. That's what we'd all hope for. The problem is there's so many people that are doing it. Whether they're doing it on Facebook

or Twitter or arguing. Whatever things they're arguing about it's spilling out into the real world. Right. You're in the park being all zen and all of a sudden a flash mob shows up that organized on Twitter and you're like what the hell is happening here? I was just all zen a all of a sudden a flash mob shows up that organized on twitter and you're like what the hell is happening here i was just all zen a minute ago so one thing that i wanted to bring up we talked about before the podcast that i actually read a whole article about we were talking about

on the podcast whether or not chris cuomo was really lifting a 100 pound barbell now i had completely forgot we even talked about this until I stumbled upon an article online about it. And in the article, it actually referenced us talking about it on the podcast. Right. And apparently... He wasn't. They think I'm quite stupid for believing that Chris Cuomo really had this 100-pound barbell or dumbbell that he was lifting up. It looked very light.

It did look very light. So my thought was, how big is Chris Cuomo? Ah, that's a good point. I thought he was bigger than he is. So I googled it. He's only 182 pounds. Which says he's 6'2", 182 pounds. I don't know if that's accurate.

That's, yeah. 6'2", 180? He doesn't look that lean. He can be a thin guy. He doesn't look that lean. But anyway, that makes him 20 pounds lighter than me. Okay. So very unlikely that he's carrying that dumbbell like that.

So then I'm like, okay, I got to ask some people who would actually know. So I sought out some people online, one of them was uh rob kearney he's been on the podcast before he's uh world's strongest gay oh yeah i know that guy he's awesome love that dude and uh i think he won recently a pound for pound strongman title i believe he's not a big guy he's a he's a tank tank but he's only about 5 10 maybe um but fucking gorilla strong yeah so um so he says to me uh so i say to him have you ever seen the thing and he says i just watched the video i think it's fake lol he doesn't look to be bracing hard enough for it to be actually 100 pounds good point he is kind of wishy-washy in his seat he's he's a real expert right so he's an actual strong

man so uh i'm pretty convinced so then i asked robert oberst who's an all also in robert is fucking enormous absolutely one of the strongest men in the world. He's a Goliath. You sit next to him, 300 plus pounds. Oh, jeez. So he says the picture looks possible because his elbow's up and stable, but the video where he's at his desk showing the weight off, he moves it around out at an angle that would be the smallest head of the top of the bicep taking all the weight,

and it doesn't even phase him. He said, if it's real, he's stronger than anyone I've ever seen use a dumbbell. Whoa. I'd say it's a 40-pound weight with 100 pounds written on it. He said lots of Insta-famous lifters have fake dumbbells and plates. Ah. Two experts. Interesting.

Rob Kearney and Robert Oberstst both of them call bullshit so i refer to i defer to them wow it does when he's sitting in the chair at the desk there it looks very light but i saw he's 182 pounds and that might not be true because i bet if you google what my weight is they probably don't know what my weight is either 100 pounds is a lot but 182 pounds for a man who's six foot two is not a gorilla like brendan shob okay if brendan shob was doing that i'd go i bet he could do that brendan shob brendan shob is 270 pounds 260 plus pounds yeah he's huge he's huge yeah but even then like it just seems light it seems like it's like yeah yeah i obviously didn't look at it close enough and i also i don't i'm not a lifter

in that sense like i don't right i don't lift heavy weights uh-huh like the heaviest shit i ever lift is like i might squat a couple of hundred pounds for reps but most of the shit i do is kettlebells right so i'm doing like the heaviest ones i do are like 90 pounds or maybe and that's rare usually i use like a 70 pound kettlebell or 50 pound kettlebell depending upon the exercise they're not heavy right i'm doing like uh functional movements that use your full body right so i'm not in that lifting world but if you wanted to talk to like um you'd have to talk to like the like ct fletcher you'd have to talk to like those power lifter dudes who really understand those are the ones that so it's a little uncomfortable that i'm sitting right in

front of you and i'm not in the list of people that you're asking because on my peloton there are three and a half pound weights that sit on the back of the seat and once in a while you have to take those out and curl them sometimes two in one hand mind you and it is quite a workout okay so he's 200 pounds he says he went from 218 pounds to a pretty lean 200 pounds. He cut out, said he cut out bullshit, cut dairy and bad sugar, 2014 cutback booze. So he's 200 pounds. His body fat plummeted to 12%. Okay.

He's pretty dialed in on his stuff, though. Right, but he's taller than me, and he's my weight. There's no way he's handling that weight like that. I can't handle that weight like that. Can we see the video? I'm fucking jacked, son. Oh, man. I wish I didn't have my jacket on.

I would be showing you my biceps. Show me what's up. Roy Jones Jr. flexed his arm in that chair. He has two of mine. Does he really? On his left. It's crazy. His left arm is so much bigger than his right because he's got

probably one of the best left hooks. Not probably. One of the best left hooks a human being's ever thrown. So his left bicep is gigantic. It's so much bigger than his right. He was joking around about it. But when he flexed, you're like, Jesus! Good lord.

Just like an alien head in there. Yeah, see, there it is. He does have shoulders. Yeah. Well, that move, when he does that. Well, that's kind of braced. That's 100 pounds, that's so heavy. 100 pounds is so heavy.

This is where I'm less, go back to that, when he's doing the little hammer curls, this is where I'm less likely to believe, this one right here that when he's doing the little hammer curls this is where i'm less likely to believe this one right here when he's doing that he's not even straining there's no strain at all in his back yeah everything looks too light yeah it just doesn't look again i don't know shit this is not my world i could show you a video of a guy, like Bradley Martin, a dude off YouTube, doing like 120-pound dumbbells. He's struggling with those. Right, of course.

It's a similar thing. Good point. And Bradley, he's a giant. Who is? Bradley Martin. Show Bradley Martin. Yeah, let me see Bradley Martin. Bradley Martin takes girls.

He puts weights on bars and then has girls hang on the bars, and he fucking presses them. I love that move. He's enormous. He's a youtube famous lifter right but all completely look at this he's cleaning and pressing a girl but but the dude is like what is like six three six four yeah he's 270 easy oh my enormous he's a huge man he's he's a huge legitimately huge man yeah so he's struggling there's a video of him on there with 100 pound dumbbells well i get my look at that look at that bar look at that when

he's when he's doing deadlifts oh my god besides this motherfucker so much weight on the bar but you look at him and you go oh okay oh that shit's real as fuck as people always say it's fake look at the bar bending this guy doesn't have to fake anything. Listen, there ain't no faking going on right there. You look at the way that weight is moving. When you see the size of him, too, it all makes sense. But his tricep doesn't wiggle when he points at something like mine. But it's nice that I could ask. You wonder about stuff like that.

You look at him doing that, like, is that real? And then you ask experts, and the experts are like, uh-uh. That is pretty great. Like, Oberst and Rob, Kenny, those motherfuckers know. Yeah, that's pretty badass. But what kind of a person would fake a weight? Do you think people give him fake weights? Imagine if they wanted you to look like a moron.

Like, hey, move this weight around. You're like, what is that, 100 pounds? You're like, hey, take a video of this. Show everybody how strong I am. His assistant was trying to get brownie points maybe he doesn't know maybe he doesn't know maybe his assistants are just doing it to make him feel good there was a guy who was uh i don't know he's like a royal some royal guy or something yeah but he would uh play pool with guys and they would pay the guys to lose and so he would this guy would enter into uh pool tournaments yeah and and like and he was okay yeah he was a decent player but guys are like blow shots on purpose like you could tell

like someone had paid them walking around thinking he just walking around thinking, like Kim Jong-il. Thought he was the shit. He's the world's greatest basketball player. Odd. Odd, man. So weird. But apparently, this is one of the things that Rob Kearney was telling me, is that there is a whole culture, I'll pull up the dude's name, there's a whole culture of people online who do this with fake weights, and that's probably uh he was uh talking about that right yeah like fake followers and fake weights and people just trying to get some cred online so this this is

the guy brad castleberry okay i know who that i follow him i know he is i i've seen him get called out for the fake weight thing i don't know how really it is because he's a he's a monster as well right exactly he's a monster as well he's a monster and he's still yeah he's huge but apparently legs yes but apparently people have asked him to do now this is according to my friends in the power lifting world apparently people have asked him to to show up at meets and do this stuff why am i seeing his butt cheeks oh he's in his underpants not comfortable with that why is he in his so not necessary so not necessary for him to show that oh he's in his underpants not comfortable with that why is he in this so not necessary so not necessary for him to show that while he's squatting world's strongest almost gay

world's strongest curious yeah rob needs to show the way rob's a married man he's not interested in your butt cheeks sir put him back but uh that's a real problem in that world apparently is like people fake weights which is real weird. People are so shitty. They fake everything. They fake how many followers they have. They fake how much weights they've got. Yeah, I know someone who fakes followers.

Yeah. This is him lifting? I think so. How to spot fake weights. How can they spot it? What are they saying? How do you know that's fake? I guess they're saying how he held it.

I don't know. I know the powerlifters get deep into this too because of what you're saying. They're so competitive. So what do you think they do? They put one fake one, one real one, one fake one, one real one, stack them or something like that?

Yeah, right. They want some resistance. And here's the other question. That looks like a public gym. So how are you getting them fake weights into that gym? You're not. That's the thing. I followed him online for a while.

Yeah. I've seen people call him out. Who? For years. Brad Castleberry. Because he's always been at a 24-hour fitness. I've seen him bringing in stacks of fake plates. Yeah.

Right. And you just take a picture of him. Yeah, exactly. That would spread. It's just such a weird world. the world of how much can you lift. Yeah, well, they're so into it, right? These guys aren't learning Italian. See, that looks real, man.

Look at that bar bending. That's fake? They're saying that's fake? This video is about how to spot it, so we're not listening to what they're saying. Right. They might be saying that's legit. It's a weird world. I don't know how much I can lift.

How about that? You don't? Someone says, how much do you bench? I don't bench. I don't bench at all. I just say 250. It's a good move. Scare people off.

I don't know. Keep a jacket on. I don't remember when I was... Never take your jacket off. That's why I wear the jacket. I don't want to intimidate people. I don't want anybody to know. Yeah, it's a weird world.

Remember when you sent me a picture of a fat comedian and you said, don't end up like this? No. Did I? Did I do i do that yeah how fat was he he was pretty porky i won't name him did he have a shirt off on stage and i must have been like at a teetering teetering weight at the time oh were we discussing weight loss is that what it was maybe a little i was trying to encourage you by fat shaming you yeah well i'm sending you lean elk it worked yeah listen um i have food for you back in la but i gotta get you in touch with my security guy he'll get you into the studio i'll give you some elk meat it's the only meat i eat yeah because i'm gonna have to well i got one this year already uh-huh i'm gonna have to ship some of that meat back out here soon oh man so so get

a cooler do you gotta do you have a freezer at your house? No, I just have this tiny fridge in the garage. Maybe I should get a freezer. If you get a commercial freezer, I could fill it. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I'm the only one that eats meat in my house. Really? So sad. Just me and the dog. That's why you're the man. That's right. That's why you dominate. Are they all tired and sleepy all the time? Yes, they're in their anemic. are they all tired and sleepy all the time yes they're in their anemic no joke really yes yes they won't eat meat and it's so like the no do they won't do they not eat meat for health reasons because obviously that's not working or is it uh it was a moral thing animal sympathy empathy yeah they just love the animals and she's showing my wife taught my

daughters the same what happens to elk if you don't eat them? What happens to them? Wolves eat them. Bears eat them. Oh, yeah, of course. And it's funny because... What are you saying? They're not opposed to...

They're not opposed to the dog eating meat. Well, that's good. You don't want the dog to die. They literally ask, is there any meat around? Because I'll make it. I'll make a steak, and then there's always some left over. And she's, like, encouraging it now because the dog showed up in our life, and she eats meat. Dude, they go crazy.

You ever see Feed Your Dog Liver? They love it. Oh, that is one of the best things. Feed Your Dog Liver. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Marshall, my dog Marshall, who you'll meet later today is the sweetest dog the world's ever known yeah loves everybody but the wolf in him comes out when he smells liver

oh really he has this like wild eyed look when you feed him liver he's like twitchy like i give him pieces of liver he's like because it's so packed with it's something in his dna understands that liver is like the number one thing. That's the best thing to get. That's so great. When a wolf kills an alpha, the alpha eats the liver. Oh, really? Yeah. That's Marshall with a little

bird. I found him. He wasn't paying attention. I was calling him and he wasn't paying attention. I see him staring out the window and there's a little bird that I think the bird flew into the window. Oh, it was hurt. Conked himself. Yeah.

And so the bird's just sitting there. And Marshall's just tweaking hard. Oh, man. Staring at this bird. But he eventually, the little bird, he eventually flew off. But Marshall was like. Just instinct, man. Yeah.

My sister has two dogs, two hounds. And she's had a chicken coop forever. And the chicken in there is like 12 years old. An old chicken. That's old. Yeah. And she still was producing eggs, kind of. It's just part of the family in a way.

It's just been there forever. The hound dog. And the dogs. And somehow, someone left something open open and those hounds ripped her apart yep just lived with it like for years no problem no nothing as soon as they had the opportunity can't help themselves they could not help themselves my dog johnny actually broke through the chicken coop he figured out a way to get inside the chicken coop and he went on a rampage oh they killed like eight or nine of them i forget

oh my god by the time i got to him there's just bodies all over the place but i had at that time i think i had 20 plus chickens so there were so many chickens for him to kill it took a while for me to figure out what was going on my wife screamed out why is johnny in the chicken coop i'm like fuck and i ran out there and grabbed him. Oh, man. Or like, is it just a kill thing? They don't. They just kill them. He's well fed. That's what I thought.

Yeah. Just for fun. It was just for shits and giggles. Yeah, just have a good time. Little rat terriers killing the rats. But did I tell you the whole story about him where he was talked into killing chickens by a coyote? Talked into it?

Yeah, man. They had to sit down in the bar? There's a there's a thing that happens with coyotes that's really amazing they're clever they're clever in a very specific way this is what was happening my my chickens when female chickens don't have a rooster they lay eggs but the eggs never become baby chicks right so this is what people don't know that are vegetarians like you can eat eggs guilt free because eggs will never become a chicken right like like people want to

look at it like you're doing some harm to the chicken right but if you have pets chickens as pets and you just let them free-range they run around they eat bugs the grass they eat bugs they eat grass they eat all these different things they give you this incredibly nutritious eggs and you don't have to worry like there's no bad karma no one's getting hurt they just popping out eggs but every now and then the chicken will decide that this egg is going to it's going to hatch and they'll molt and i think it's called brooding that's what it's called and they'll molt. I think it's called brooding. That's what it's called. And they'll start picking their feathers off their body so that they can have skin on the egg,

and they won't get off that egg. And you come near them. They peck at you. They want to preserve that egg because in their head, they're confused as to why they're not having chicks in their little dinosaur brain. why they're not having chicks in their little dinosaur brain. So I had to take them, and I would separate them from the other chicks, and you had to put them in a smaller container where they couldn't sit on the thing. So you had to put a perch.

So when you put them in a container with a perch, then their legs clutch on the perch, and they sit there in a smaller chicken coop, and then they would eventually get over it and then you could let them back in they would act normal again but otherwise they would damage themselves they peck at themselves and it was real weird that is weird when you say they decide does that mean that the all eggs could and they just pick this one out no no no they have a feeling like this one is going to have it no no they no eggs can ever become a chick gotcha the only way an egg can be a chick is if there's a rooster gotcha. So if these chickens, these female chickens,

which, by the way, I didn't know until I was 40. Yeah. Here comes 50. I thought they just fucking had an egg, and the egg became a chick, and you were eating it before it became a chick. Yeah. That's what I thought.

That's why you get a feather in it once in a while. I put zero thought into it until we had chickens, and then we realized that this is a brooding thing where they have to hold on to the perch. So you have to basically take them. If you don't do it, they'll go through a full cycle, like 30 days of brooding, and they won't lay any other eggs. And it's like they get real weird.

Right, right. But they also damage themselves. They pluck all their feathers out and shit. But if you take them and you put them in this small container for a number of days, like I forget how many days it is, they'll eventually get over it and then they act normal again. So we did that and then I put this smaller container on the outside of the larger chicken coop. Because for whatever reason I didn't bring it inside.

I just put it outside of there. The coyote became friends with johnny cash johnny cash is a mastiff and he's a fucking tank right he's you know 140 pounds head like a fire hydrant dumb as shit right the coyote was super clever and the coyote was his friend so the coyote would hop the fence and hang out with him and he had decided because the coyote was way too small to eat him yeah the coyote is only probably 35 pounds sure but the coyote got him convinced that they're buddies so the coyote would come visit and johnny would see it outside the fence and so one day somebody left the gate open where in my the way the house was set up the the dog could stay on one side and

the chicken coop was on the other side so i didn't have to worry about him because he's so strong he could literally go through the chicken coop which he eventually did he pulled the chicken wire apart and just slaughtered in there but before he did that the coyote convinced him to go to the box where that one chicken was and knock it over so i am sitting there and uh we were playing games we were playing like sorry or something with my family and uh i look out the window and i see this fucking coyote with a chicken in its mouth running across my yard and bounces over my fence like it doesn't exist i mean it's like you you can't believe how graceful they are. I know.

Six-foot fence, just like this. Bing, bing, bong. Gone. With a chicken in his mouth. I'm running out, chasing him. You motherfucker. And then I go over, and I'm like, how did he get the chicken? And then I go over to where the chicken coop is,

and somebody had let Johnny over to that side, and he's destroyed the chicken coop the small coop and he's just looking at me like hey man what's up what the fuck did you do and then I realized oh my god the coyote tricked him into knocking this thing over and then it stole the chicken because it was hanging out with him the coyote told me you'd want me to knock it over he wasn't barking at the coyote he wasn't acting like the coyote was an intruder in his mind the coyote was like my other dog was like his friend right right they were buddies let's do this come on it'll be cool exactly like he didn't even know what he wanted what do you want me to do you want me to knock that over i'll knock that over boom joe said i should do it

shatters his box and the coyote's like thanks sucker i just bounced it over the fence but I was I mean I spent the rest of the day going like what did it do how did it know that he could do that probably or did it just think maybe we'll work together

and we can do it did it know look how big that thing is I think that thing could probably break this did it understand it does it sizes it my wife was walking we have a new dog in the house we have a pug named frank oh new addition to the house when did you get frank um like four weeks ago my uh rescued it my daughter my one daughter went to school and my other daughter replaced her with a pug and my wife is walking the black lab, Bella, and Frank the pug. She's just walking them on the sidewalk.

And she ran into a coyote in the middle of the street. Coyote. Pretty big one. And she said she was making noise, trying to get it off, and she said he wasn't moving. He was just watching. He was like sizing up, kind of what you're saying. Looking at Frank, this little edible pug, but seeing my wife in this black lab. And she said he was just trying to figure out.

What he could do. Yeah, what could he do? And my wife was making a lot of noise, trying to push him away. Aw, look at him. Eventually he went. There's your little pug. Oh, yeah, there's Frank. Look at that little face.

It's a great name for a pug. He's adorable. Yeah, he's pretty great. They're not that bright. Yeah, well, they eat those at that little face. It's a great name for a pug. He's adorable. Yeah, he's pretty great. They're not that bright. Yeah, well, they eat those things all day long. Yeah. Coyotes snatch those up from yards all day long. It's a fun dog name to be like, come on, Frank.

It's like you're talking to a guy from the 50s. You heard of Frank Sinatra? Yeah, Frank Sinatra, Johnny Cash. Isn't Frank great? Talking to Frank is great. Yeah, yeah. Ah, what are you doing frank frank frank not in the office he looks like a frank frank we've never had a pug before oh really they're

cute dogs yeah a little face look at that face look at them hilarious they're not that bright you gotta keep them away from fucking coyotes yeah the coyotes is gonna are gonna come and take it maria bamford uh great comedian she's a great comedian she adopts pugs she has like five at a time and only adopts them like at 10 years old like the end of their life when people aren't caring for them it's how big hearted how big hearted she is she brings them in and cares for them to the end of their life whitney has about 100 dogs at her fucking house does she really she's always got dogs she's always adopting did she send me pictures look at this new dog i got like bitch how many dogs you have i went to her house i did a backyard stand-up thing

people were criticizing her for that backyard stand-up show she tested everybody oh please they're all comics everybody wore masks yeah and she people were like you're putting people at risk oh snooze fest professional comedians were saying what yes which one you know ones with money that don't worry about making a living that don't want anybody to do any dates at all even if it's just fun oh shut your trap oh it's so gross shut your trap. Oh, it's so gross. Shut your trap. This whole risk shaming thing. Oh my God, exactly.

You can't take people at risk. That was another thing in the article. Sorry to go way back to the pandemic. Another thing that countries that have done things well, they don't shame people into their actions. If you give them the information and let them act on their own. Well, you got to take Twitter away. If you shame them and yell at them and we're better than you and you tell them what to do and you're going to shame the shit out of them, then they'll rebel.

You make Trumpers. Right. You'll rebel. You're like, don't tell me what to do. Exactly. Yeah. Well, that's human nature, man. Oh, please.

Those people are gross. Let people go perform. I went and performed in Portland. Has anybody given you any grief for doing shows? No. Wait till after the show. They will. Oh, F them.

They're coming for you. They're coming for you. Yeah. Talk to me about the waitresses that were almost losing their apartments and are back at work. Sure. Talk to me about the people that are subsiding their anxiety by finally getting out of the house and hearing comedians translate stuff. Listen, I'm with you.

I think you should be able to take risks. We are almost seven months into this thing. Yeah. And the idea that you're supposed to stay home until there's a cure is fucking insane. It's insane. It's untenable. It doesn't make any sense. And obviously, you can navigate it.

You can navigate these waters. You can. You do it safely. You wear a mask. you take care of your health you take vitamin d zinc and vitamin c drink a lot of water get a lot of rest and whatever's good for you get tested if you're vulnerable and you don't want to go you don't go but if uh if the if the governor of that state says it's okay and the mayor says it's okay and the club owner is doing all the right things and the staff is there and the people show up we've all decided as a collective that this is okay we're adults right if we're out there bungee jumping or riding bulls or any other dangerous activities that's right we should be able to do that and the other argument the argument against that of course is that you're

going to transmit it to someone else don't fucking do that okay if you get yourself tested if you have a vulnerable person in your household, don't do anything risky. That's right. But you can be tested now. It is possible. You can find out. A hundred percent. And Trump kicked it, and he's fat, and he's 74.

I mean, to get on the same shit they put The Rock on when he was doing Fast and the Furious. Can you imagine? Run through walls. The Rock got COVID, and he and he was one of the most difficult things me and my family have ever been through meanwhile you're like come on son come on you look great i've been watching your instagram the whole time yeah exactly you didn't even flinch you didn't even cough you never stopped posting one of the most difficult things my family and i have ever done and i i'm a giant rock fan I fucking love that guy. He is jacked. Holy cow. He's so inspirational.

I know. He's always getting after it. If you're lazy, there's three people you need to go look at. Cameron Haynes, David Goggins, and The Rock. Go pay attention to those. They will get you off your fucking lazy ass. They sure will. And people think, oh, that's frivolous.

Listen, it's not. I know. Mental strength is an important thing to have. Yeah. And it's something that you can grow. You can cultivate it. Yeah. It's a thing that you see in other people.

You admire it. And a lot of people, they like to pretend they don't admire it because they don't have it in themselves. And so they try to dismiss it. It's inspiring. But those people, Goggins and Cam Haines and The Rock people that are constantly Kevin Hart is another one too constantly hustling always getting after it always moving those people are very valuable to humanity oh god they really are and god yeah there's but people who are they consider themselves

intellectuals or at least intelligent or artists or whatever they look at those people as like they're doing something frivolous and that like maybe perhaps my support of it is just reinforcing the the meathead part of me that i enjoy which is true i'm a meathead it's a fact well that's true around it i'm a meathead but you inspire a lot of cars i like bow hunting i like meathead type shit okay but also like to read and I also like intelligent things I like interesting discussions and you get motivated to work really hard the mind is the hard part

getting your mind to force your body to do things when your mind starts concocting all these excuses and starts coming up with all these different ways why you don't have to do that it's a sneaky bitch, your mind. Really clever. And you've got to conquer it.

You've got to conquer your inner bitch. Yeah. You've got to figure out a way to tell that motherfucker to shut up and you start working. Yeah. And once you start sweating and things start moving along, you get a sense of satisfaction. That's right. Exactly. You had one post.

Literally, I saw it as I was doing a pour over coffee in the morning before my radio show and you said something like my inner bitch wanted me to go and just have coffee and skip the workout and I was sitting there like literally making the coffee that was a hard day sometimes it's hard

for me I always feel silly talking about working out in front of you anyway, but as long as I know when I'm doing it in the day, if it's going to be right after the radio show, as soon as I turn it off and I go on, like I just have to know. Just have to schedule.

Yeah, you can't have it loose. Like some time in the afternoon does not work. Yes, yes. I have to know exactly when. That's how I am with writing as well. I have to have my writing. I have to know I'm writing today at 3 p.m. I will show up. I will flip open that laptop.

I will fucking fire it up. That's right. Yeah. And all you have to do is show up. Exactly. Just show up. There's this great book on writing rituals. All these different writers and they tell you it's just what each author did.

And some painters. Something rituals. I feel like you've told me about this before. I think I have. I should just, I'll get you a copy. Okay. That'll be my mission. It's so great.

Just keep it at your end table just to kind of like pop it open and just see how these people. Just that they, some of them are really decadent. Some of them are really puritanical. But they had it. Well, the best one is Hunter S thompson there was a beardy man took me and fitzsimmons reading hunter s thompson's ritual and put it into music oh really made a song do you think we can play that are you allowed i wonder if we can play that because i'm in it i mean i gave him the rights to use it uh-huh I'm in it.

I mean, I gave him the rights to use it. Uh-huh. What do you think happens there? It's kind of an interesting experiment. Yeah. He seems like a nice guy. It's weird what you can get away with and what you can't get away with, man. Who owns it? It's not me.

I certainly don't own it, but I let him use our voice. But it's me and Fitzsimmons reading Hunter S. Thompson's schedule. He had a writer come visit him, and writer like observed what he did in the day. And was his ritual, he would do it every day? Yeah, play this. All right, here's his daily routine. 3 p.m., rise. 305, Chivas Regal with morning papers.

Smokes Dunhill's. 345, cocaine. 350, another glass of Chivas. Another Dunhill. 405, p.m., by the way, first cup of coffee and a Dunhill. 4.15, cocaine. 4.16, orange juice and another Dunhill. 4.30, cocaine.

4.54, cocaine. 5.05, cocaine. 5.11, coffee, Dunhills. 5.30, get more ice in the Chivas. Cocaine at 5.45, 6 o'clock Smoking grass. Take the edge off the day. 7 p.m. Good day. Three hours into it.

Three hours in. Lit. 705. Woody Creek Tavern for lunch. Heineken. Two margaritas. Coleslaw. A taco salad.

Double order of fried onion rings. Carrot cake. Ice cream. A bean fritter. Dunhill's. Another Heineken. Cocaine. And for the rest of the ride home, a snow cone.

A glass of shredded ice, which is poured over four jiggers of Chivas. Okay, so the snow cone is Chivas. Okay, 9 p.m., start snorting cocaine seriously. 10 p.m., drops acid. 11 p.m., chartreuse, I don't know what that is, cocaine and grass. 11.30, cocaine, et cetera, et cetera. 12, midnight, Hunter Sompson is ready to write

that's when he sits down to write 1205 to 6 a.m he writes chartreuse cocaine grass shivas coffee heineken clove cigarettes grapefruit dunhills orange juice gin continuous pornographic movies 6 a.m in the hot tub with champagne dove bars fettuccine alfredo 8 a.m. In the hot tub with champagne, Dove bars, Fettuccine Alfredo. 8 a.m. Calcium, just sleeping pill. 8.20, sleep.

Oh my God. I can't believe he shot himself. I can't believe. What a fucking animal. Well, he's in serious pain. He had hip replacements and he was all fucked up. Man, oh man.

You can only... I can't call that a ritual. You can only throw that much sand into the engine. Man, oh, man. You can only... I can't call that a ritual. You can only throw that much sand into the engine. Yeah, right, exactly. Where the block seizes up. It's going to seize. It was sad towards the end of his life because he couldn't talk. There's a famous interview with him on Conan O'Brien,

and he had lost his ability to communicate. He goes, where's all this? Sorry. Oh, the worst. He just was so compromised by alcohol and drugs, he couldn't talk anymore. That is the worst. That really is bad. I was looking at this video of David Lynch talking about TM.

You know, I'm into TM TM Transcendental Meditation and he was talking about that the people that are in pain that are drinking like that and taking the drugs, artists that are doing that stuff that that ends up killing the art

and that if you can find something else for your brain that gets you away from those things you'll be able to create. But that all of those drug-fueled, alcohol-fueled artistic endeavors, artistic lives, all just burn out. They just, you've killed it. You've killed the part of you

that's going to be able to create. And it's true. All those stories don't end in a way. Stan Hope's still kicking. Is he? Mm-hmm. Doing great. Yeah.

Tell David Lynch to suck it. We'll see. Honestly, I think that's a generalization. It's a pretty... I think that drugs and alcohol can be tools. I think the problem is alcohol can be tools. I think the problem is the inclination that people have to excess is often what leads them astray. It's like this inclination to just keep boozing and keep drugging. And year after year, day after day, eventually your body falls apart.

This is why I'm doing Sober October. Yeah, how's it going? It's nice. You feel good? I'm fucking sore. You're all by yourself. I know no one's no one's you're all alone but i'm sore i've been working out i decided to work out every day for the whole month oh really that's like yeah wow what's your normal schedule i take days off yeah normally i take a couple days off a week right but i've just been forcing myself to do what i would call active recovery so i mix it up

so like days i just do different things on different days. I'm just trying to keep it going. One of the things I've become real obsessed with is this thing called the Rogue Echo Bike. You know what that is? No. You know what an airdyne bike is? Yeah. You do your handles, and then you – basically, it's wind resistance.

Yeah, that big wheel. It's a fan. Yeah. This is, like, the most it's wind resistance. Yeah, that big wheel. It's a fan. Yeah. This is like the most brutal version of that. Oh, yeah? It's a really rugged, tough piece of equipment, and I've become obsessed with seeing how much I can do on it. It's really weird.

I started doing these Tabata rounds. I would do like four rounds. these Tabata rounds, I would do like four rounds. Four rounds are, you do eight Tabatas, which is 20 seconds of sprinting followed by 10 seconds of rest. And you do that for a cycle of eight. Like you do that eight times. How long? How far?

It takes four minutes to do eight times. No, how far is the sprint? No, it's just time. Oh, time. You're just doing time. Because you're not going anywhere. Oh, you're on the bike. I'm sorry.

You're on the bike. Pay attention. You're not even listening to me. I'm on drugs. So you do that. I'm on drugs. So you do that. It takes four minutes. And I would do that.

I started off doing it. I would just do it like four times, which is 16 minutes. 16 minutes of sprinting, which is hard. It's difficult. And then I moved it up to eight. And then I moved it up to 10. And then I moved it up to 13. So now I'm basically at 52 minutes whoa of sprinting and resting sprinting and resting and it's done it's amazing for my cardio

yeah but you you just rest and recover and then i i have this day of dread where i know today i'm doing the airdyne bike right and then i start fucking with my head and i start saying okay pussy today you're gonna do 15 you're gonna do 15 15 sets each one is four minutes long ready go and once you get through one yeah you go okay 13 more to go 14 more to go you know yeah 13 12 11 and you just keep going and then when you get to seven, you feel the finish line coming. And then you get to six and to five, and you're fucking, I'm drenched with sweat, right? And I'm taking liquid IV in these big two-liter bottles, and I'm chugging it. Jeez. I've become crazy with this. It's just the starting that's the hard part.

It's the dread. Yeah. It's the dread. I'm trying to find ways to avoid doing this, because I'm doing it three days a week Sprinting on this thing That's amazing, good for you But my legs are getting big Mine are getting big too What are you doing, getting fat?

Peloton Peloton's awesome I hit a 61 week streak You did it 61 weeks in a row? I'm at 61 weeks, I'm still alive That's amazing How many days a week are you doing it? Three You did it 61 weeks in a row? I'm at 61 weeks. I'm still alive. That's amazing. It's good. How many days a week are you doing it?

Three. And when you do it, are you following the same course? No. Or do you have different instructors? You follow their workouts? I've got this great... I only like one instructor. I love this guy, Matt Wilpers.

He's not partying on the bike. There's a lot of... Everyone has their different soul cycle kind of a... Right. Girls flirting. Wilpers is like a coach. He's like just dialed in. Hardcore. He's like, yeah, he's like a high school coach kind of a thing. And he's just all about, you know, hitting these zones and doing the stuff. But he keeps coming out with new ones. So like every week there's, he drops like, you know, a 60 minute or a 45 minute and uh just it just

keeps you keeps me motivated it keeps me in and it has music so you're going along to the music music and he's coaching you and he's coaching you he's like telling you crank it up let it go all that stuff right exactly exactly hit the zone is awesome they also have a treadmill now too right yeah yeah there was a place that we when we we were working in Phoenix once, and we went to this gym, we were doing stand-up in Phoenix, and we went to this gym during the day, and they had these cardio machines that were exactly what I always wanted. I said, why can't someone come up with a cardio machine where as you're running, you're doing like a video game?

And so you had like fire in your left hand and i think what you did with your right hand yeah but it was like a elliptical machine and you the only way you went forward is by doing this so you have a screen in front of you and you were shooting pew pew pew and then you would turn it pew pew pew and you were you were actually shooting i forget what you're shooting yeah i think i think you were in a tank and you were shooting at other objects. That's cool. It wasn't so sophisticated where you had like – there's a thing that they're doing where they – I know there was a concept at least where they had VR goggles and you had this omnidirectional treadmill. So you'd be harnessed by the waist and the omnidirectional treadmill would go in any way.

And so you would run left and one right, and you'd shoot at this and shoot at that. But you'd actually be getting exercise in because you're on this self-propelled omnidirectional treadmill. Have you ever used a self-propelled treadmill? No. Dude. No. We have this thing called the Air Runner at the old studio, and I miss it. It's amazing.

It's 15% harder than regular running because it's at this little slope and you're pulling to get it to go. And as you get it to go, like you're keeping up this pace, it's very difficult. Wow. It's really good though. Like running on the beach.

Like in the sand. Running on the beach is pretty fucking good. Yeah, it's good. It's not quite the same as that, but it's really good. Yeah. But anyway, the point is, if you could have something like that where it's really good yeah but anyway the point is it's if you could have

something like that where it's difficult to do but also fun like you you put on these goggles and you're doing halo or something or you're in quake yeah you know and you're running down the hallway and shooting at things i mean yeah what a workout you would get that'd be really cool if you get it behind you and have like someone's coming up behind you you got to outrun them because think about how many people get addicted to video games. Yeah. Video games are extremely addictive. Sure.

If you can get addicted to something that actually gives you cardio, where you're running four or five hours in a day. Yeah, that'd be great. So the only way you can get good at this game is by drinking a lot of water, taking vitamins, eating clean. Yeah, come on. Yes. Let's do it. Let's make it. Well, I think they're really close

to doing something like that you've tried that game uh beat saber where you're swinging yes when john carmack was a wizard of that when you have that ramped up granted maybe if you made those weighted so you're actually it's not weightless in your hand i've played that for like an hour you get pretty sweaty if you're doing. Like if you're not fucking up every 30 seconds. Well, do you remember when we put that boxing game on and I was whacking all these opponents and I was getting tired? Yeah. I was like, this is a good workout.

I get tired during Dance Dance Revolution. Because if you actually know how to box a little, you could fuck those guys up. Right. So those guys would come at me like, pop, pop. And I would duck under. But you're actually moving. And when you get hit you the the light flashes like how cool is that it's pretty cool that's pretty cool like if you could dial that in and be like go against tyson or go against yes you know what i mean like go against ali like that would they will definitely have that someday

fraser coming at you the thing would be cool is if you could actually hit something yeah you know if you actually had like a thing in front of you that you would hit like a heavy bag right because right now it's not that way right now it's just air so you're just swinging in air right and when it's like poop poop like when you when you hit it the goggles on right a heavy bag in front of you might hurt yourself you might hurt yourself the problem with that is like if you And you see it and poof, poof, poof. You might hurt yourself. The problem with that is if you swung and you thought that the bag was here, but the bag is right here, you might hurt your wrist or something. It really depends on... Maybe it's possible.

Maybe it could be a really spongy bag. Yeah. Like a light water bag. Mm-hmm. If you ever hit a water bag, they're really good because they don't there there was weight to them but they don't have the same in like sometimes people have a problem with actual heavy bags because the impact is so jarring yeah on your joints if you hit hard especially like roy jones was here yesterday he was talking about he hits these little paddles and instead of like regular mitts because he hits so hard,

like he doesn't want to hurt his hands. So he's like, bop, bop, whap, whap. And so he's just whipping into these paddles, and the paddles offer very little resistance. They just make this slap. Right, just for the quickness of it. Yes, yes. So if you could have something like that maybe, where it was like you hit it, but it's not hurting you.

It's got it. Like it just seems like the fun you hit it, but it's not hurting you. It's got it. It just seems like the fun part of it, of you being able to go against legends. That's got to be a thing. Someone's already done it. They're making this on their own. I just found this is a test they made. Oh, so it shows you the spots to hit.

Yeah, that would be what you would want, right? Yes, that's a great idea. That's a great idea. Does that bag look like it's set up right well the bag is actually virtual right so like there's a virtual bag but then a physical bag so the virtual bag what what the goggles are doing is picking up on the actual position of the real bag so when you're hitting it even with these fake gloves the distance is correct so if you're seeing the way this guy look at at the video, the way this, oh, now he's punching the wall. Oh, that's a makawara.

So there he's just doing that for reflexes. Go back to the bag part, though. Let me see the bag part again. Now, if you could make that square. But see how he's hitting it? Like, he knows where the bag is. He's hitting it in the correct distance. So it's showing him accurately where the bag is.

As he moves forward, it's representing where the bag is. he moves forward it's it's representing where the bag is pretty dope yeah they're getting there yeah it's gonna come right i mean that would yeah come on be able to run like against carl lewis that'd be pretty cool come on man make it a little fun yeah but the peloton for my for my thing has been it's been good but if they could combine something like see if you can find that omnidirectional treadmill plus VR game because there was

a thing that they were doing I don't remember what the game was they were working on it I'm pretty sure it was in beta and they were just trying to figure out how to do it but they wanted to do it with like Quake or Doom or one of those 3D shooters where you'd be running with like a plastic gun and you'd run down and shoot at things it seems like that's like the gyms of the future like getting a kayak and you're going down a roaring river or you know what i mean like all that running through the

like the mountains and yeah that's probably where the gyms are gonna head or how about you're running and like wolves are chasing you? Yeah. You're on this treadmill. You turn around VR and you see glowing eyes of wolves. This is probably the best looking one I saw used. There's a couple different ones I remember seeing. That's an omnidirectional treadmill as well? Yeah.

I remember the one you were talking about was a little concave, I think, right? It was circular. Okay. So this straps you in the same way, the way the uh ground moves can go all directions let me see this guy get in there so oh what he's got goggles on look at that robot oh that's so dope look at that he's pretty so is he harnessed into that treadmill? He's not. No. His avatar looks like a robot in the woods. Oh, so it does go. That's for tracking, that little thing on the back.

Right. So it seems like it's, oh, that's so awkward. They just need to get that better. Yeah. It's the beginnings of it. Really, what you really could get is like a. This one he is trapped in. Look at that.

Yeah. So that's what i'm talking yeah now he's in inception he's walking down the street in inception so is that a treadmill what is yep that's a treadmill it's a little treadmill that's what i'm talking about something like that where you're strapped into an omnidirectional treadmill that looks like you'd fall off it look how dope that is oh he's strapped in yeah so he can he could kind of move anywhere oh we're getting there kids come on bro how badass is this yeah and if you had ankle weights on and wrist weights what a fucking workout you would that would be pretty you would you would work out so much you would die i don't

know because you'd be so into the game yeah you'd be so into it yeah you come back six months later like what happened to time you got a fucking six pack? What's going on? Yeah, you'd want to play for like hours and hours. Right? I got really into Boomzats on the VR. Boomzats. It's a good name. Boomzats.

Yeah. I mean, you can figure out a way to turn your addiction into something positive, right? Yeah. Now you're talking. Like, the best way to do it for those video game guys is to become a professional gamer. Or you can actually make a shitload of money playing professional games. But if you could figure out a way for regular people that have no desire to do that to use it as recreation and then get fit. Because I know a lot of people got fit with Dance Dance Revolution.

It's no joke. No joke. I was exhausting. My girls were little at the time and we're dancing and doing that thing. It was like, I had to sit down on the couch. Dude, sometimes you go to an arcade, like at a bowling alley or something, you watch some dude who's like an expert at that shit. You're like, oh, okay. You're river dancing. You're like one of those guys. Remember those river dance commercials? Yeah. There was a funny, wasn't like a

Nick Swartzen movie when he was really good at that and that dance dance revolution in the arcade? He was like really intense at it.

Was it a Sandler movie that he was in? I think so. But yeah, no, that stuff, yeah, playing the Wii when we would do the Wii

and play tennis and all that stuff together. You're moving. What happened? This one can hold your, I was going to see around here. Look, she's swimming. Oh, look at that.

That first one I showed you, it said it weighed 1,000 pounds. So that gets into like it's going to be an issue getting them into a place where you could use it. Uh-huh. Wow. This is a little smaller. I don't even know what this is called. Silver cord, I guess. She's kicking things.

It's holding her weight up. Wow. This is wild. She's doing the breaststroke. That's pretty crazy. She's hung in the air doing the breaststroke that is wild that's cool if you can walk in vr i feel like the next step is you're going to want to be able to jump and if you can't physically jump you have to hit a button to jump that's that makes that right back out that kind of right you

jump and land on things like bam well oh my goodness they're getting there yeah but it just seems like it's a perfect sort of mesh the perfect mixing of a healthy activity with an addictive activity right like you can turn a positive into a negative because the negative has always been for me at least they're just a massive waste of my time i i get crazy with video games. I can't fuck with them. I know. Jamie and I talked about it with the new place. When we go to Texas, we're going to bring the video games. Like, no.

I can't. I just can't. Because you can't just play a little bit. No. No. To me, it's like a cocaine addict. I came in one day when you were in that back room playing, and you were in a frenzy. I was like, I'm just going gonna wait over here this you were like well they're so fun yeah they're so good and they're so well i mean it's too good

yeah it's too exciting right you know it really is yeah it's too good and you would really high tech stuff yeah yeah well the graphics today yeah they're just amazing what they can do today with video games is just so special yeah when when people get shot they explode you see blood splatter all over the place and and and they're they don't look like people either right they look like ogres with like mechanical arms and so they they make noise like if only you could do it for 20 minutes and be satisfied yeah please it'd be good well the way to do it would be to make sure that you get exhausted doing it right so that you could you could only play because you're running on this omnidirectional treadmill and if you did that like

put like 10 pound weights on your arms yeah 10 pound weights on each arm 10 pound weights on each leg bro you'd be beat yeah you'd be beaten down even five pounds fuck even a pound no i know it's a lot on each if they just made you simulate carrying the guns you're running around in the game with you'd be tired as shit right that's a real good point right give you a real metal thing like a heavy metal gun with a trigger yeah yeah like a fucking cannon don't don't don't don't with something that kicks body armor plus your pack haptic feedback the whole deal you get hit you get ah you get zapped a little bit um have you ever seen you know what sandbox is no dude sandbox is a very similar situation it's a vr game that you go to a warehouse and they have it set up

so you have the parameters of the game and you put on a haptic feedback vest, you have VR goggles and they hand you guns and all these different things and then you go

and you duke it out with zombies. There's this one Deadwood Mansion, it's called. See if you find the dead. This is what it looks like. I've done this a bunch

of times with my family it's really awesome it's awesome with your family yeah you do it you do it together and you have fun you you go missions together you you shoot aliens and zombies you feel like you're all in that reality i mean kind of it's obviously fake but it looks like that like when you see the video of it it looks like that. When you see the video of it, it looks like that. But it looks good. It's really cool. It's certainly discernible. This is Deadwood Mansion. So the zombies come running at you, and you gun them down.

Like, look at them. Ah! Dude, it freaks you out. And you get a shotgun. Apparently, that's the new update. You get a shotgun with the Deadwood Mansion. But they're running at you, and you're fucking gunning them down. Look at them.

That's what they look like. Like, look, look, look. And does someone die? Does your wife go down, and she's out of the game, and you're fucking gunning them down look at them that's what they look like and like does someone die like do you yeah your wife go down and she's out of the game and you know she's not out of the game you can bring her back to life but you have to hold on to her shoulder and you recharge her with your energy that's pretty great so when you see them when they're down they turn black and white and then when you grab them you go you can bring them back to life and you when you get killed you see in black and white so you know you're dead i have not gone but I'm wondering,

have your kids or are you ever gone with them to a VR haunted house, or does that exist yet? Because if it doesn't, that's going to be, and they probably can't do it this year, obviously. Right. Good call. Of course. That would be great.

That would be a good call. Really creepy. Walk around an entire place that's made for it. Well, they had at Universal, they had a Walking Dead attraction. And they had actors. And so they had people like full on Walking Dead makeup. And like some of it was like mechanical and some of it was like. In the haunted house?

Yeah, and they would come out. But it was like a real person. I walked through that. My daughter lost a flip flop and I had to go back for it. She ran and left her flip flop she left her flip flop she was probably 10 oh that's

oh my god you brought her in at 10 and she was too scared to go back so I had to go back and get it pardon me going the

right and everybody thought I was a thing oh my god all the other people I'm like just walking through like looking for this flip flop this is the scariest one yet

scary dad. Oh my god, it's that guy from Italy. Yeah, so funny. What's his name again? Carlo Verdoni. It's Carlo! Verdoni! He's dead!

He's a dead, he's coming for to kill us. Carlo, we miss you. And I got the, and I found it. Found the flip flop, came back like a hero. Oh, congratulations. Boy boy what a low bar there is for being a hero in 2020 i got the flip-flop i did it oh man i feel like uh i feel like uh things will probably get weirder before they correct themselves right see look at this is the constant narrative yeah having a good time and it goes back to covid i didn't i wasn't even thinking co but i was thinking like aliens coming or halloween decorations coming to life and hunting us down some some

there's another there's a couple more curveballs waiting for us well the trump getting covid i thought was like wow this movie's lit yeah was like, this is a crazy fucking simulation, whatever we chose. Because I'm like, if he dies, that's what I was thinking. If he dies and Nancy Pelosi becomes president and Pence and Pelosi are battling over who wears the crown. Oh, God. I know. I mean, that was really what could have happened.

Yeah. I mean, Pence would have become vice president, would have become president. But then- Then he gets it. What happens when they're, you know, a month later is the election. Yeah. I mean, Pence would have become vice president, would have become president, but then... Then he gets it. What happens when they're... A month later is the election, right? I know. And then the election is not going to be, we're going to find out November 4th who the

winner is. Yeah. It's going to be weeks. Unless it's a landslide. But I don't think you're going to see a landslide. If it's a landslide, then you'll find out that night or the next day. I don't believe that's true. If it's not a landslide, then...

If it's a landslide, I'm sorry. If it's a landslide with in-person voting. Right, but it's not going to be. It's going to be so many mail-in ballots. You don't know. I don't know. Well, you know everything. You told me already.

You know... But I have to pretend that I don't. So the conversation keeps going. What do you think is going to happen? Who do you think is going to win? I don't know that I don't, so the conversation keeps going. What do you think is going to happen? Who do you think is going to win? I don't know. I don't know. I mean, they're saying that Biden's up like 16 points.

But, you know, we've been through this before, right? It was 96% chance that Hillary was going to win. So I can't look at any of those. Biden is up in polls. Polls are only answered by people so fucking stupid they answer polls. You always have to take that into consideration here's what i say to people have you ever responded to a poll right have you no there you go no one with a life it's really true so people who are dumb think biden should be president great what is the numbers we're talking about how many people

yeah you don't know i we onlylled people with flat tires in white neighborhoods. I do kind of feel... They're waiting for AAA. It's the only time we can get them to talk to us. Who's bidding polls? I've never even seen a poll. I don't know. No one's asked me to poll.

I don't know anybody who's been asked to poll. Nope. Never. I don't know if people i want more choices i think oh yeah that would be amazing that's what i want i want better choices i don't want this polarization i hate it yeah no they should put together teams of like mixed this these four people and these four people of mixed ideas and get the best ideas and then they're going to run as a platform rather than as an individual i think initially the idea of a representative democracy and the idea of a republican party and a democratic

party was a great idea but i think the problem is people form this loyalty to this side and this blind loyalty blind loyalty to their team and then they have confirmation bias and everything this team does that's good, that's all you focus on, and you decide that this team's narrative is correct, and you subscribe full on to the ideology, and the other people are the enemy, and the other people are sexist and racist, or the other people are Marxist and leftist, or whatever you decide is wrong with the other people. Could you imagine... I think, but what I'm getting at is I think the problem is groups. That's right.

The problem is identifying in any group, whether it's Antifa or Proud Boys or the fucking whatever. Figure out a group. Pick a group. The idea of identifying with a group is a terrible idea. Terrible idea. Could you imagine being so all in with either party like could you imagine that you're just blindly following everything they say just because they're that color yeah because i know a lot of people i know a lot of people that are all blue all all they do

i do too up and down though i've seen it on people's twitter page i vote blue across the board yeah it's like you stop thinking. It's just nuts. You just stop thinking for yourself. It's ridiculous. And the idea that only bad people vote Republican is ridiculous, too. Or only dumb people or weak people or bad people vote Democrat is ridiculous, too. And this narrative gets reinforced by the fact that there are these two opposing teams. Right.

And that you have to pick a side. Right. And it's also reinforced by social pressure, like your neighbors and your friends and co-workers. And social media. Well, and also the industry that you're in. In certain industries, it's frowned upon to vote left. In certain industries, it's frowned upon to vote right. And you want to succeed in that business, and so you sort of like...

I mean, you know, how many hedge fund people... It's got to fund people at some point do you think so yeah i do i think it has to i don't think what one of the reasons i think that i don't think if i would go out on a limb that i think trump is going to lose is because people just can't deal with the anxiety but it's like we were saying earlier like it can't be at a hot boil we've been at a hot boil for four years and people are exhausted. They just want it to go back to someone calm. Just calm this shit down.

Just calm it all down. Well, it'd be nice if there was someone who you thought was going to calm it down. I don't know. I think anybody but Trump would calm it down. Honestly. Really? Yeah. Put Romney in.

Put anybody in. That? Yeah. Put Romney in. Put anybody in. That I think. Put anybody. I do think that if Romney was, he is a much more measured, much more calm guy. Joe, compared to Trump, everybody is.

And the funny thing was, against Obama, he looked like some sort of weird religious radical. I know. You remember? I do. People are like,

get Romney the fuck away from us. Right, exactly. Romney? You want Mitt Romney? I'd. I do. People are like, get Romney the fuck away from us. Right, exactly. Romney? I know. You want Mitt Romney? I'd vote for him tomorrow. That weirdo. I know.

That weirdo. He's a Quaker or some shit, I heard. Yeah, he wears magic underpants. He wears magic underpants. We can't have him in there. He's a Mormon. I know. Just a gentleman.

Just a gentleman who has a nice family, who's just mellow. He's in a really nice cult. If you're going to be in a cult, the Mormons are the nicest cult members. So nice. They're the kindest, sweetest people. They're so nice. They're really family-oriented. Oh, my God.

Out of all the cult members, I had neighbors that were Mormons. All kidding aside. They were so kind. They were so friendly. A hundred percent. So nice. Delightful. Yes.

I'm not kidding. Genuinely nice. Yeah. They believe the dumbest shit. I mean, it was like we talked to them about what they believe. Like, oh my goodness. Yeah, God bless. But you're like, who cares?

God bless. Who cares? I'm not being friendly. Joseph Smith was how old? 14? Yeah. He found golden tablets contained the lost work of Jesus and only he could read it because he had a magic rock.

Is that what you're saying? I don't care about that part of him. I just care about how he acts in the parking lot with me. I was just down in Salt Lake a couple weeks ago, and I was driving down the street, and I saw these two dudes with white shirts with ties on, with their clipboard, walking door to door. I'm like, God bless them.

Yeah, you got to go out and do it. Literally, God bless them. I know, exactly. Worst things in the world than that. There's worse things in the world than that. A hundred percent. And I don't care about what they're into. Just mellow it out. And i honestly do believe that you could take

almost anybody that's in office and run them and it'll be more mellow they may not agree with everything that they're doing but it will just turn this temperature down and i don't think people i think people are exhausted they're exhausted we can't live at this at this pace at this level at this nonsense level, at this nonsense. But you think this is all because... I think a lot of this, when you go back to the social dilemma, I think a lot of this is going to happen no matter what. I think Trump is a particularly polarizing figure because he's got that fuck you attitude and you come at him, he comes at you harder. And he's just a battler, right? So it doesn't help. It's more than a battler.

It doesn't help anything. There's no soothing from him. There's none. But I think... That's your job as a leader. But I think we would be polarized no matter what right now. There's definitely lines drawn. We're definitely polarized. But if it's at top, if at the top you had a real Republican just saying, chill out, let's

go to work on this stuff, it wouldn't be... Like who? Give me an example. It wouldn't be this heightened thing. Give me an example. Other than the cult member. Other than Romney? Is there anybody out there that stands out as someone that you would want

to be representing that side? I don't know. Kasich was kind of normal. Yeah, he seems normal. Yeah. He seems measured. Yeah, he seems like he's just going to be a grown-up. Just be an adult.

Just give me a mellow adult. He's going to do the right things. I'm waiting for Dan Crenshaw. Crenshaw? Yeah. I don't know him. He's been on the podcast several times. Oh, yeah.

Navy SEAL, Lost in Iron Combat. Oh, yeah. Oklahoma. No, Texas. He's in Houston. Yeah. Okay. Great guy.

Super reasonable, intelligent, rational, well thought out. Really enjoy talking to him. That's good. Really enjoy talking to him. I'm going to look him up. He makes sense. I don't always necessarily agree with him, nor do I think I should. I think there's room for disagreement.

A hundred percent. The way he communicates is very rational yeah very sensible it's very intelligent and the man is like a legitimate american hero the guy that you're that guy in that office shouldn't be as frantic and stuff as anybody on on the edges you know what i mean like that guy's got to be the measured adult that kind of takes in all of those people and makes sense of it and translates it and leads and keeps us all united you know makes everybody you know the the most upsetting part of this run has been just turning americans on americans like that's never happened in my life where we're making each other the enemy and we're not you know you and you tour

and you see people that are not each other's throats. They just want to raise their kids, make their money, live their lives. We're not the enemy. And painting other Americans as a threat, as a foreign threat, has been so upsetting. Who's doing that? Trump. How's he doing that? Painting other Americans as a foreign threat? Yeah, constantly says that

constantly says that the left is just out to destroy and those people i mean i mean everything he says is painting it that way it's not everything he says well sure kind of might might be exaggerating a little bit there well i mean it's always inflaming and it's always he runs as there's no there's no foreign power is the enemy. It's the others in this country are the enemy. He does think China's the enemy. He does think there's real issues with China. That's true.

And I think there are real issues economically with China. Yeah, I don't understand any of that. It's all above our pay grade, right? Yeah, I don't understand any of that. I don't understand the nuance of- We're a couple of touring joke slingers. Right. Talking shit about global politics. any of that i don't understand the nuance of we're a couple of touring joke slingers right but i do know when somebody is turning us against each other and he likes doing that well

he certainly likes the battle you know and uh that was what i admired most about obama was that the way he commanded respect was just with grace the way the way he handled himself at press conferences the way he discussed things yeah he's very respected even when he was attacked you know he would he'd be measured yeah very he was a statesman right now cool yeah just keep your head and it makes it makes us all calm down yes that's what we need really legitimately if you have a if the dad in the house is an alcoholic and he comes home and you don't know who's coming in that day, is he going to attack me or is he going to...

Everyone's nervous. Yeah. And that's kind of the way the country feels. Yeah. If dad just comes home and he's home at 6 and just has dinner and watches the ball game and he just sits there and he's nice... I like your simplistic way of describing it. I don't think it's accurate, but I understand what you're saying.

But it's an analogy. It's an analogy analogy i think we all need to get on mushrooms i really do i think we need uh last time you took rituals a couple weeks ago a couple weeks ago yeah well i've been texas so more than a couple weeks where'd you do it what was the atmosphere uh my studio i did i did some during the most post malone podcast you did yeah we did mushrooms together i didn't know that yeah yeah really yeah did you get giggly in the middle of the podcast yeah we got pretty silly oh i gotta listen to that we i think um people need something that connects them to some sense that there's something more to life than just what we're experiencing in front of us. I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

We need some religious ritual. We need something that transcends. Transcendental meditation. Yeah. I'm not kidding. I know you're into that. And it is that. I don't like the results with you.

I'm not impressed. It hasn't really been compelling i see what you're saying but i'm like i'm not buying it guys over there just drinking pour over and sitting on his couch thinking all is awesome complaining about trump i don't see any enlightenment over there uh it's him and Frank on the couch. Me and Frank hanging out. Making bread. But it is that thing that you're talking about. It's the same thing that drugs access.

It's the same thing that religion runs after, but without any dogma, without any leaders, without any thing. Clarity. It's just a kind of a sense, a growing sense as you do it over time, that there is a bigger consciousness, that there's something that is more compelling and more uniting with all of us than what we're shown on the surface. Well, I've been doing a lot of breath exercises, breathing exercises. the one that I enjoy the most because it puts me in kind of a trance is six long seconds in six deep breath like a six second deep breath and a six second exhale and I just do this in a cycle so I count one two three four five six one two three four five six and I I do it like I try to

be as honest I can but yeah the most important thing is to get it rhythmic so six seconds in six seconds out six seconds and dude it's crazy like i'll sit there and i'll think 10 minutes has gone by and it's 45 minutes later wow yeah and i'll check because i set a timer when i do it and and i just decide at a certain point in time to stop and uh it's it's anxiety scrubbing it's like i'm cleaning my mind of extraneous bullshit that's not it's just things that are not necessary that are getting in the way of like noise the crackling life noise like i'm very uh very busy right i do a lot of shit. I've got a lot of things going on, and I have this mind that tries to find things to think about. I'll lie in bed, and I'll get a thought in my head about asteroids or something nutty that I don't need to think about right now,

or I'll think about the volcanoes under Yellowstone and what happens if one does erupt like yeah how does one deal with that like and then all of a sudden it's fucking two hours later and i'm i'm lying in bed consumed with this thought the brain goes after it yeah yeah the for me the best way to stay present is through these breathing exercises i found like it's a great relief to me yeah and that's why I describe like anxiety scrubbing. Yeah. Scrubs away.

Yeah. That's kind of, it's very similar to the way I describe it. You know, yours is you have a mantra, right? A mantra. And you just keep repeating that mantra.

And it just gives your brain a cue, basically, that it's allowed to, it's, it's going to start thinking about this and going and going a little deeper and leaving all of that stuff up here leaving all of that dates and anxiety and what all that stuff that you're thinking about here in the world that you need to think about but it's just giving your brain permission like a little portal to go to a different

state of consciousness right right and you just kind of hang there. And sometimes it's still busy. The thoughts will still kind of come in. But 20 minutes pops off and you come out and it's exactly what you're describing. You've scrubbed your nervous system free. You reset. You reset the computer.

We operate too much on momentum. And I think thoughts and little ideas and maybe anxiety a little way they cling to you yeah as you're going along and then they're stuck with you and then you got all these things that are stuck with you whether it's you know bills or relationships or struggle or uh you know commitments things you have to do things you have to do, things you have to resolve, things that you're... The news. Requirements of you. Yeah.

Things. All these different things, focal points of attention. Yeah. And you can carry them around like weights. And what the meditation does, it doesn't make those disappear, but it makes you able to carry those yes there's a different perspective in carrying all that it cleans for me i feel like if my brain was like a cylinder like a standing cylinder it would have all this shit stuck to it all over the place yeah that maybe i don't need to be aware of all the time. Yeah. Because it doesn't help. No. Right? No. But these breathing exercises for me allows me, I really do go into a trance.

It's really strange. And I like the fact that I'm doing a breath exercise as well. So it's meditation, but it's also breathing. Yeah. It's like both things are happening at the same time. So there's an exercise aspect to it. Because breathing exercise is like, when you're sitting there, sitting i'm like here like this is what i'm doing like how long is he gonna do i keep going i keep going i'll do that for 45 minutes but exactly at that

pace right and when i'm doing it like that it does physically puts me into a trance yeah but it's also an exercise for my lungs right yeah the breathing thing is good it's heavy yeah you need to do it because there's a lot to carry for all of us for every single person no mine's pretty light all the for every single person especially mine's pretty light all the things we talked about today it's pretty light it's all pretty light what about the bread the bread's going well bread is bread is meditation it is a little bit right yeah and i'm not probably in a craft like making oh yeah delicious bread yeah it's very yeah it's like stand-up it's like you're always working on perfecting this craft

and letting your mind go and just deal with that. And when you're doing that, you're not thinking about anything else in the world. It's a small form. I need to be there right when it comes out of the oven and cut into it and then put butter on it right then. It's pretty badass. That's probably the best.

It is. Is that the best? Like right then? Not right then. How much do you weigh? I mean, it's pretty close. It's like a steak where you let it rest? Yeah, you let it rest. How is. Is that the best? Like right then? Not right then. How much do you weigh? I mean, it's pretty close. It's like a steak where you let it rest? Yeah, you let it rest.

How long do you let it rest? Some people say let it rest like another couple hours. Who are those fucking people? What do they want? Cold bread? People who are so fat that they're filled up with bread. I let it rest a few hours. I'm still chewing the one from last night.

I've got jam in my teeth. I've got jam in my teeth. I've got seeds. Warm bread, though. So good. So good. There's only one way to get warm bread. You can't wait for it to cool off. A friend of mine gave me this butter that he found here that he had had in France.

Oh, my God. Butter from France. Oh, this butter on that bread was just insane. It's all I've been doing during the pandemic. I just keep baking bread and driving it to comedians. I've seen every comedian you know. And delivered bread? And delivered bread.

Well, that's cool. It's become like my little getting out of the house. And you go drive up and see Ali Wong and hang and give her bread. I miss our treats. Go see Leslie Jones and hang with her and give her her bread. I'm just running around LA feeding people. Bert, Tom. It's beautiful.

It is. It really is. It's cool. It's a cool thing to do. It is. It keeps you connected. You're giving people... I'm making too much of it.

You know what I mean? How often are you doing it? I can't eat it. Like twice a week. So it's four loaves. Are you still doing it for a podcast as well? Are you still doing that? I'm still doing the Breaking Bread podcast.

So you're making bread doing that as well? Well, I don't do... No, for the podcast, we just talk and eat. But you were doing something where you were making bread. I was making... Yeah, on my YouTube channel, I show people how to bake bread. You're still doing that? Yeah.

So how often are you doing that? Not that often. I haven't done one in like a month or two. What the fuck? But you're making doing that yeah so how often are you doing that not that often i haven't done one in like a month or two what the fuck but you're making all this bread i just get it rolling well i don't understand i don't want to show them how i'm doing it every night it's the same thing well then talk during it just show them but you talk about just talk shit about trump people get mad at you it'll boost up your channel. But he likes Romney. What's with this guy? This guy's a Romney fan?

Come on, you liberal. You liberal. You dirty liberal. Cuck. What happened to Cuck? Cuck's not around anymore. That went away. Here he is.

Look at him. Look at him. Yeah, there you go. Smelling your starter. I remember when that shirt was new. Gooey Fun, the new band name? That's you, buddy. Yeah, I like it.

Listen, we already did three hours. This is the weirdest time warp. It's very weird. It's the weirdest time warp. It flies by. It's about three hours? What are we at?

Yeah, in 30 seconds it will be. How about that? So cool. Three hours. I miss having you in LA. I miss having me in LA too. And it's weird because like, you know, the store it's gonna it'll probably feel more pronounced when the comedy

store opens up yeah and you're not around but just knowing that you're not there is a little weird well but i like that i can just get on a plane and come here i like pretty great when i open up a club out here yeah yeah. You must come. I'll come anytime you want. I'm not going to stop coming. I've met multiple stages of things I'm doing out here. We're moving into stage two. Stage three.

The positive pandemic phases. Stage three will be the club. And then stage four will be a gigantic ranch where I'll run my psychedelic cult. I'm in. Don't tell the police i haven't had mushrooms in so long oh so long talk to me in 10 months that's the plan ari gave me some when he did his tv show i wouldn't trust ari's mushrooms for a fucking second who knows what's in there he'll he'll put mdma and acid in your mushrooms and laugh but they're so old they're like they're like five years old now and i still have them you think they're good try them just take a little bit just take a little bit take a cap yeah just walk around the house don't tell anybody just give

everybody hugs clean out the pipes yeah just clean out pipes. Just a little bit to get going. Yeah. Just a little bit. We're all in it together, gang. We're all in it together. Whatever way you get there. Yes. You're the best.

You're the best, Tom Papa. You is, man. I do miss having you around. And I miss your bread. I'll keep coming. We'll keep doing this. All right. Love you, buddy.

Love you, too. Bye, everyone. See ya.