The Joe Rogan Experience - #156 - Duncan Trussell

Episode Date: November 10, 2011

Joe sits down with Duncan Trussell.

Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day! I had to paint somebody on my board yesterday for complaining that I do the commercials before the podcast. You know, he was bitching about it, and I'm like, you stupid fuck. Go to the special ed room, dummy. It's ridiculous. I give you a free podcast, man. I have to do something to monetize this bitch, right? Yeah, in regard.

Bandwidth costs money. It's really fucking annoying when people give you those, like, those types of complaints are so annoying. You can't complain about something when I give you something for two and a half hours for free

and I'm just talking about you know a product for two minutes. You're getting commercial man. Here's a comment I just got on a

YouTube video. Let me see if I remember. It was really annoying. These are the fucking insult comments I hit the

one. You're selling out man. No. They're the ones that start with a compliment, but are the passive-aggressive ones. So this one was, like, for 20 minutes,

I took the paranormal activity. You know how paranormal activity shows the crowd and doesn't show the movie, so it's the crowd reacting to paranormal activity. Have you seen that? So it's like people are like, oh, no. And I thought, well, fuck, man, that's funny. I wonder what that would look like if they were reacting to a red lobster commercial so i just put a red

lobster commercial on top of them like freaking out over a scary movie and it came out kind of funny weird and so i put that up on my youtube page and someone left a comment like well this is uh this is the only one of your videos that didn't make me laugh. Why would you even fucking say that? It's like a compliment, a very nice compliment mixed in with just like a shitty jab. He gave you a check minus. Well, you know, what it is is when you get on the internet, you are allowing yourself to interact with anybody, anybody and everybody.

And you can't choose at all there's no choosing yeah any random person can just cunt their way into your life just cunt a storm right through your fucking life online yeah and it's not like a real community i mean you can create a community online with a message board or something like that but and you with twitter lists and shit like that like who you follow who you block but know, at the end of the day, just, you know, it's,

there's, the boundaries between people are kind of separated. Right. And people can just get at people. And so, YouTube comments are a perfect example of that. You want to see, like,

how the world is going, you look at the YouTube comments. If the YouTube comments were like, well, better luck next time, and he seems like a cool guy. It wasn't my kind of music, but I could see how some people could like it. That's a nice way.

Eat shit. Drown in a river of AIDS. Totally. You faggot cunt. Same thing. Yeah, I mean, you see those over and over again, and YouTube doesn't block them, and it is a fascinating sociological experiment. Thousands of years from now, if data still exists, if you can still read

off of our hard drives, probably you won't be able to. But whoever finds us in our archaeological future the way we have found ancient Sumer or ancient Rome or any civilization that we've tried to piece together

from information from the past, they're going to look at YouTube comments. And they're going to be like, look at these crazy assholes. Look at these motherfuckers any any video that they go to what if they went to rebecca black here's just a 13 14 year old girl talking about hanging out with their friends you know she had a song she's 14 years old man yeah she's a little girl you're not supposed to like that song if you're a fucking grown person. But that song was assaulted by a fucking tsunami of shit. Those comments, and you look at her 25 million hits or whatever the hell she had,

the comments on her videos are horrendous. They're terrifying. Just fucking raw anger. And all it is is just an easy target. That's all it is. It's just an open, easy target. What you're supposed to do, you're not supposed to go, this is fucking bullshit. This is what passes for fucking music, man.

No, that's not what you're supposed to do. What you're supposed to do is go, oh, this isn't for me because I'm not 14. And not get angry. Just move on with your life yeah but some people man they just want to get on that youtube with you motherfucker yeah i want you to feel what i feel fucking spooky oh they just went up there's sweaty there's sweaty fingers pecking down on the keys god i see people like on my message board all the time just get cunty with somebody. For no reason, I'll just send them to the special ed room. Get out.

Get out. Stop that. You don't have to do that for no reason. You don't have to just get shitty with people. As far as I can recall, I've never left a shitty fucking comment. I just don't think it's the time to leave a shitty comment. It's so silly. I've never left a single YouTube comment.

Yeah, I've gotten in a bunch of those. But what people don't understand about Flame Wars is it's kind of like a competition you know it's sort of like the dozens you know like you play the dozens you know if you don't know what it is it's like you know your mom is so fat you know when she's sitting down people think she's a sofa you know and you go back and forth you insult each other you know what i mean like it's like a big thing like with the brothers they love they love to play the dozens that's what it's called but that's sort of like what flame wars are it's like it's kind of fun that we're all anonymous right and so you're kind of like just up to your wits it's just you and your wits against somebody else and their wits

and all of a sudden you get in some cunty little argument with someone online and you want to fucking rock them man you want to sit back yeah let me craft my words carefully here i'm gonna fuck you up bitch and i love watching it as a sport i like watching like smart people like go back and and the really cunty thing to do is to have a sentence and then respond with a big chunk and then another sentence and respond with a big chunk whereas like you're taking a little it's such a bully move where you're taking like a little sentence, a little tiny segment of what someone said and not in the greater context of several paragraphs of writing, but just one little sentence and then they'll respond to it with like a river of shit. Yep.

And you go back and forth and back and forth. I've done that. I've done it. It's stupid. I don't do it anymore. Occasionally I do. But for the most part, I just try to be silly with it. But in the

past man i've gotten involved in like long flame wars with people that went on for days well i mean if you think about like imagine if if youtube had existed when buddha incarnated on the planet so like he could like upload his ideas onto youtube it would still have shitty comments like what a fucking joke you idiot what are you talking about life is suffering go sit under the tree some more faggot you know it would be like that i did would you what do you when you hear that though i mean don't you have a little bit of an instinct to say the same thing life is suffering oh profound one please please ponder on when you're getting your dick sucked is that suffering no no no it's not when you in your dick sucks, is that suffering? No, no, no, it's not.

When you're in an awesome movie, is that suffering? No, no, no. It is not. When you're on stage, you're killing. Is that suffering? Wait, but let me ask you this.

Let me ask you this. Hold on. When you're hanging out with your friends, is it suffering? No, it's not. If you have a nice car and it's comfortable

and you get a good stereo and a great song comes on, is that suffering? No. No, it's not, Buddha. Buddha's life sucked because Buddha didn't have cool shit or cool friends. No, no, it's not buddha buddha's life sucked because buddha didn't have cool shit or cool friends no no that's wrong yeah he had a whole bunch of chipmunks actually said

that's wrong well no that's not he knows well he knows buddha go way back but you gotta know there's history's very vague but my relationship with buddha supersedes that no but the but the thing when you're saying Buddha had a shitty life, there's a story of Buddha, and Buddha started off as a very wealthy prince, and there was a problem. In what year? I have no idea. That life sucked. It doesn't matter. I don't care if it was 600 BC.

According to the legend, his father, he had a harem. He had a harem. Yes. That's good. That's good. Stinky girls with no razors, not a razor in sight. Everybody's disgusting. For the time, it was a pretty good-

They're all scratching for food. For the time, it was a pretty good life. A harem. Get the fuck out of here. Listen, man. It was a terrible time to live. Terrible. No internet, no cell phones, no refrigerator, no vaccines, no fucking US military presence

overseas. Listen, it's a terrible goddamn time to live fuck buddha this idea is ridiculous life is not suffering life can be you know the rest of the noble truths oh oh well hold on the problem is you're at your attack you just said noble fight that's what that's what they're called that's what they're called you're but i know but but you are you just that's the most pretentious thing a human can ever say. Do you know the noble truth? That's what they're called.

I understand that, bro. Bro, I'm just fucking around here. These are just jokes. Don't get personal. He takes it very personal. No, I don't. I like to shit on Buddha every now and then just to get a rise on Duncan.

No, just because you sound like you don't know what it is. You could pick on Duncan and he won't even fight back. But you talk about Buddha, he'll fucking kick your ass, dude. But it would be like... it is. You could pick on Duncan and he won't even fight back. But you're talking about Buddha. He'll fucking kick your ass, dude. But it would be like. Step up. If you picked on Duncan, Duncan would be like, hey, man, come on. Why are you being an asshole?

It'd be like me making fun of the UFC and being like, you know, because they fight eight rounds. And then you'd be like, well, no, they don't. No, there's no rules. That's what I was saying. There's no rules. Something like that where you're like, you it's a clear like you clearly have never you don't know what it is well it's weird because you have buddha statues all over your brother brother brother i'm telling jokes man i'm not i don't believe any of this shit i'm saying

well you're hurting buddha's a loser you're hurting buddha yeah you're totally gone against a lot of the whole truth of buddha i think you're you need to really believe in him. All I'm saying is that I wouldn't want to live back then. I wouldn't either. I'm not saying that Buddha was wrong when he said life is suffering. It just sounds a little pretentious. And if somebody said it today, life is suffering, I would want to probably kick him in the balls. But there's three other things after that that kind of make more sense.

Oh, okay. Go ahead. So the second one is the cause of suffering is attachment to things staying the way they are the idea that things aren't going to change so life is suffering in other words you're suffering when you think things don't change oh so what i did is basically the exact same thing that i criticize people doing on the message boards where they take one line and don't even read the rest of it i didn't even listen to your whole sentence i took one one line and i just attacked buddha and folks i don't really mean any of the things i say i say things for the fun of it okay i really do have buddhas i have a fucking buddha tattoo on my arm

come on man i'm fascinated by buddhas that's one of the things i first saw during psychedelic experiences the golden buddha made of light yeah a golden A golden Buddha in the lotus position. And then there was like infinite numbers of them around them, like fractals of golden Buddhas in the lotus position. It was one of the craziest experiences of my life. It's a cool religion, man, because it's a viral religion, which is very different from a lot of other world religions like Christianity and Islam that kind of come into a place and try to change what's happening in the place to conform to Christianity Buddhism goes into a place and like analyzes whatever the belief system is

in that place and then incorporates that into the philosophy of Buddhism so you get these vastly different forms of Buddhism all over the planet like in like Tibetan if you look at Zen Buddhism and then you look at Tibetan Buddhism, they couldn't be more different. Zen Buddhism is this very austere. If you look at a Zen monastery, the walls, I've never been in one,

but the walls are made of rice paper. And like, it's like these guys fucking sitting there meditating for like just spending their whole life meditating. It's very, very stark. Then you look at Tibetan Buddhism meditating it's very very stark then you look at tibetan buddhism and it's like golden buddhas and prayer wheels and prayer flags and

it's like this bright beautiful thing and the reason is is when uh buddhism came to tibet there was a religion called bon b-o-n that was the original religion and it just took that religion and transformed it so it embodied the noble truths of buddhism wow isn't that cool just took that religion and transformed it so that embodied the noble truths of buddhism wow isn't that cool just hybrid that hybrid yeah that's what it does it it infects uh infects probably the wrong word but it gets into a culture and then just the culture affects is a great word yeah that's what i mean it's it's sort of a negative word yeah well i mean that is what it is it kind of it's viral it like gets into the dna of a thing and then transforms it into uh buddhism that's fascinating fascinating it really is you know i've always wondered like what the boundaries of meditation are because i

don't really have the time to be sitting around all day meditating but i always feel like anything like even the isolation tank which is very much like a symptom or rather a method of meditation the isolation tank you the more you do it the better you get at it right the more relaxed you get when you're you're inside the easier it is for you to let go the easier it is for you to get to that really crazy deep state. So I would assume that with meditation, just like with anything, with music or martial arts, the more time you spend at it, the better you get at it. I would wonder, what the fuck can you do with your brain if you have like 10, 12 hours a day? Because you know, Eddie Bravo has this friend of his.

He went to Egypt with this lady, and she was a Kundalini aficionado like a serious devotee of Kundalini yoga and this lady did Kundalini yoga all fucking day and what she said was that it was all about stimulating particular areas of your brain that can produce psychedelic chemicals and that what you're trying to do is like open up your chakras and you can tune in to higher frequencies of consciousness and that these people say that at the highest levels that these these people are capable of putting themselves into a psychedelic state absolutely naturally so like what you would have to do by taking mushrooms or taking peyote or whatever they can just meditate and get there and they travel in their mind to like distinct

different places and the idea is that what they're doing is they are literally changing the form of their mind if you look at the mind yeah of a a person who meditates you know a buddhist monk you know a person who meditates 10 12 know, a Buddhist monk, a person who meditates 10, 12 hours a day, the way their brain works is different. The size of different areas of the brain is different. When they look at the activity in the mind, it's different than a regular person's brain. Yeah, I've seen that stuff. It's fascinating.

So you, I mean, they, what, tuning into a higher, like a higher plane of consciousness, if that is what they're doing, that they're able to do just like what we see in marathon running, just like what we see in everything. Could you run a marathon? I couldn't run a fucking marathon. Could you imagine if you had to run a marathon right now

against one of those skinny guys from Africa that runs barefoot? Fuck. You're fucked. You're never going to run as fast as, you're never going to catch him, never going to be able to run 26 miles as fast as him, but he can do it. And you know what that means? You could probably do it too, but it doesn't start like that. It starts when you run one mile and then you learn to run five miles

and you build yourself up until you can run 26 miles barefoot. But most people can't just do that right from the jump. That's got to be the same way with meditation because I know that when I meditate, I can get into a really good state just when I'm alone. I'm alone in a hotel room. I'll do like yoga and I'll do and I'll meditate. I'll go into a certain pattern of breathing and I'll focus and concentrate on my breath. And when I do that, I can achieve a good perspective. I can achieve like good, objective look at life. I can relieve myself of any

unnecessary concerns. I'm pretty good at that, but I would imagine that if you really devote yourself to really just concentrating on achieving the possibilities of these different states of consciousness.

I think you'd be able to get high. I did this thing because I studied religion and psychology in school. So I got to do an internship at a Zen temple. And part of the internship is you do this thing called a sashin, which is where you sit for like three days straight. It's just staring at this wall for three days straight in the Lotus position. And then you do this and then you do well, I went to do it and I,

I made it through, I think like 11 hours of med and I made it through. You sleep like four hours and the next day you wake up and immediately you eat and then you go right back into meditating and so I made it I don't know I made it a pathetically small length of time because it was snowing outside and I started thinking about how good a beer would be something about the snow me like man I love to drink a beer but like I'm But during the time that I was staring at the wall, I don't know, like six hours in or some certain amount of time in,

they start doing this thing called the Heart Sutra. They start chanting this thing called the Heart Sutra. And I don't remember the exact way it goes, but it's something like, no mind, no body, no life, no death, no beginning, no... It's very psychedelic. It's very droney. And it's a negation of everything.

No mind, no body. Nothing. Say itic. It's very droney, and it's a negation of everything. No mind, no body. Nothing. Say it again. This is not an exact rendition, but as I recall, it's like no mind, no body, no life, no death, no beginning, no end.

And they say this all together? Yeah, they all start chanting it. That must be dope. It's dope, and you've been staring at a wall for like six, I don't know, can you look it up? No mind, no body. What is it? No mind, no body. It's not the exact rendition. No life for like six. Let's do it together. I don't know, though. Can you look it up?

What is it? No mind, no body. It's not the exact right vision. No life, no death. Let's just try that. Ready? Yeah. No mind, no body, no life, no death. No mind, no body, no life, no death.

No mind. Yeah, imagine that. Dude, there's something weird about that, man. What is weird about that? Look up the Heart Sutra on YouTube and play it. Right? You guys are stoned. We're stoned as fuck.

But listen, what is weird about chants, man? Let's do it again. Ready? No mind, no body, no life, no death. No mind, no body, no life, no death. There's something weird about that, dude. There's something zony. There's something hypnotic about any stupid chant, even that.

You want to hear something super trippy? I think you could play it legally because it's a chant. Will you look up the Lotus Sutra on YouTube? Lotus Sutra? The Lotus Sutra. Listen to this one. This one's so fucking trippy. Yeah, I mean, what were they trying to do?

They're trying to put themselves into a state of consciousness by humming like that. Yeah, it's got a big, the one I'm looking for, I'll show you the one, Brian. Hold on. Oh, yeah. That one at the very top, the Lotus Sutra, play the first one with the blue flower right there. Listen to this. I love listening to this when I'm high. That was the 1600s version of beatboxing. That's crazy, man.

I'm scared that if they keep going, Candyman's going to come out of the screen. Okay. We get it. Yeah, it's cool, man. It's really trippy. How odd. Yeah. It's almost like country music.

Don't we, don't we, don't we, don't we, don't we, don't we. But if you listen to some of the, how do you say it, shabobo, the ayahuasca ceremonies, if you listen to the chanting of the people on the Amazon, it sounds very similar to that. It's the same kind of droney thing that has within it that feeling of like a a twangy weird like i don't know like something from new orleans or something it's bluesy almost very strange and how many different people are doing that you think it's not one person right that is that's not no that's a group of people for sure that's like a congregation how many think we're doing that? I don't know.

14. Did everybody have the same job? That's what I'm saying. Are they all saying the same thing? Or were they interacting with each other? People do different harmonies and stuff when you do that chant. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Because it doesn't sound like you could.

I don't know. I mean, maybe you could. I mean, sure you could. Think of what the noises that Michael Winslow guy makes. You probably could do it. But it doesn't seem like, that seems like a couple different things are being said at the same time. Is that right? Oh, yeah.

No, no. It's one suture. They're reading a scripture. They're reading this thing called the Lotus Suture, which is this whole weird. So they're all saying the same thing? They're all making the same noises? Yeah, I think so, man. It does seem like there's some girl

the girl the opera girl sounding girl yeah there was an opera girl to me well maybe we should play it again because it seemed to me that it was uh like a couple different sounds that are Now they're singing the same thing. They're singing it really fast. But there's like a hum to it that makes you think that there might be something going on in the background, but it's not. They're hitting a...

Every now and then there's like a little intersection, but... It's a harmony. Every now and then, though, someone will break. Oh, yeah, they're starting at different times. They're saying the same shit, but they're off by like milliseconds. Yeah, and they're trying to catch up. Wow, this is amazing. If you listen to this while shirming this would put you in a bad trip i

think no what are you talking about you would get all the knowledge in the universe i think that would make this shit go crazy it would run over you like a river of diamond encrusted fish that's great you wouldn't be able to catch it though it's so much knowledge but you wouldn't be able to grasp it yeah uh you could you could fuck your trip up, I guess. This is Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. That's where Nam-myoho-renge-kyo comes from. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo comes from the Lotus Sutra. So when you hear the beginning of it,

it's Myoho-renge-kyo, Obanpandaninichi-sasanjusamayanjo-niki-koshi. Wow. How did you memorize all that shit? How long did it take? Well, I had to chant. Constant strangulation? Brian's laughing outside again.

Eight months. And I don't even have, I don't have the whole thing memorized. I just have the. Different, but you have some parts. I have the, up until, there's like, there's two different prayers you do. And I have the first one. I can almost do that completely without the book. And then the second one, I have to do the book.

If I'm, there's like a what how did all this get started what i mean you look at like how bizarre all that is and how psychedelic that religion is how the hell did i get started what's the what's the history well that's the fucking question man i mean you've got this this uh the buddha who according to the story um wanted to be an ascetic like wanted to live with his live with his uh buddha live with the king the king there was a prophecy he's either going to be a great conqueror so this is a real human being absolutely proven by history uh man i think so i mean more more provable than jesus or less i couldn't answer that. I have no idea. I mean, to me, it's like, it's not that much of a consideration because there's so many scriptures that come from it.

There's clearly something there. And it's like, there are a bunch of interpretations. I don't know. But the story's cool. It's not like, in Buddhism, it's different from Christianity. Christianity, some forms of Christianity, they're like, you must believe

that Jesus Christ was the son of God. You have to believe that for the magic to work. Buddhism isn't quite like that. Buddhism is more like test all of this. Test it like you would be if you were buying gold, like you would weigh and measure and test gold because you need to logically understand what this is. You have to logically, it has to logically make sense to you understand what this is it that you have to logically it has to logically make sense to you and this is in buddhism that's some this is that's not all forms of buddhism but some it's like uh there's a great so you were you were telling me i'm sorry but i

interrupted you before you were explaining that he lived with the king yeah he was the prince and the king didn't want him to uh because the the uh the prophet said he'll either be the tatha god of the wheel turner like this great prophet that he was or he's going to be this conqueror like he's going to be like a world conqueror and so his father was like well fuck that i don't want him to be a fucking prophet i want him to be a world conqueror so i'm going to keep him locked up on the grounds of the palace and give him everything he wants, you know, a harem, whatever he wants he can have. And so the story is he was out with his, like, I don't know, he was out riding around. He saw three sights, and I don't remember exactly what they were, but I know one was a dying man.

One was a corpse. He saw a corpse, a diseased man and an ascetic he saw these three things and he's like oh there's i'm more there all this pleasure that i'm getting in the palace is temporary it's temporary it's not going to last i'm going to get old i'm going to die i'm going to get diseased these are the this happens to everyone there's no escape from this happens to everyone so i would so these pleasures i'm experiencing i would rather um figure out a way to have lasting permanent uh realization than this temporary transient shit so he went and became an ascetic and he uh he like uh starved himself to the point of death almost because he was like going he was like did everything in the

extreme so there's like statues of like starving buddha yeah i've seen those yeah you you you told me about that because you know that i have this uh thing about collecting buddha statues and i've got a couple of thai buddhas and shit and then you you told me about this starving buddha i was like what are you talking about you sent me a picture dude i almost thought it was a joke no the skin is tight on his face and he's like he's not eating anything because he's trying to go the route of the ascetic to um to uh so that he could uh you know have realization and brian brian pull one of those pictures up man fucking cool of a starving buddha because they're creepy as fuck man so i'd never had heard about this before oh it's cool, man. How long did he do this in his life?

I don't know the time. And everyone has this story? This is the story. Yeah, this is it. It all starts with this story. And so then he, so that didn't work out. And then he ate and, you know, the aesthetics rejected him. The aesthetics rejected him because he was eating.

Look at this, man. Yeah, isn't that fucking cool? It sunk into his head. Holy shit. Yeah, he got really close to death that way. I think there's a full body one, Brian, if you back up. There's some other ones that have, like, full body. Well, either way, you get the picture.

That's creepy. Who the fuck would want to keep that in their house? If you go over to a chick's house and she's got that starving Buddha in her house, fucking run, bro. Run. Why would you want to look at that all day? I wouldn't. You see the veins in his ribs?

It's creepy. Yeah. You don't want to look at it. That's barely. That's like a cartoon. It's like he's got mashed potatoes in his hand. It's like an old tranny. It's like he's about to eat a bowl of mashed mashed potatoes in his hand. He's an old tranny. It's like he's about to eat a bowl of mashed potatoes.

That's cum. He's an old tranny. It's a big bowl. It's a starving tranny. It's a big, giant bowl of cum. Speaking of cum, England was fun, huh? Did you have a good time in England? Yeah, England was fun. Speaking of cum, England was fun. What happened?

Well, no, England, I'll tell you this. Oh, no. You came on Joe. Not really. I mean, he sort of did. Well, Joe's fast. Fast like Buddha. We went to a strip club for 10 minutes.

Did we go for 10 minutes? Yeah, 10 minutes. It was right next to this restaurant with this bomb-ass Indian restaurant in Birmingham. And then we i would stop in at this place it's a disaster well it's so rogan no it wasn't that it's just oh no there were people coming up to take your picture yeah but it was just it was the weirdest strip club ever and i'm trying to be as nice as possible the best way to say it is you'd be kind of shocked that those girls are strippers i was wondering what you're gonna say it's the best way to say it is you'd be kind of shocked that those girls are strippers. I was wondering what you were going to say.

It's the best, you know, well, and it seems like there were other vocations that would have been better choices for them. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like when their guidance counselor was telling him what to do,

he shouldn't have said stripper. Anyway, nice, nice people. But what was this? We couldn't, we, you know,

we couldn't do it. We got in there and we thought we were going to be able to sit down and just have a beer and just laugh and giggle you know for a little bit and then leave but we're getting bombed on yeah it was pretty sick i mean it wasn't even like when i go to strip clubs aside from like the fact of like seeing hot naked girls dancing the other thing i like is the uh the the darkness yeah you know like The seediness and the darkness. Because it's funny to me because it's all a, this is a cultural,

this is a result of a specific type of culture. It's like this wouldn't work if people weren't sexually repressed. This wouldn't work if people didn't wear clothes. There's like so many weird cultural things that have to happen for a strip club to even make sense. So when you go into there and you see like you see the the fucking weird relationship between the women who are trying to act dirty and slutty and then the guys who are kind of like feel like they're breaking the rules tonight you know what i mean it's a funny thing because it's like it really is nothing it's like

you're looking at a naked girl mounting a fucking pole you're getting a lap dance it's it's just i went to a strip club once with phil hartman phil hartman was uh i wish uh more people got to see what that dude was like without being like mr like clean family you know he was like he was like super concerned about his image right but outside of that he would say like ridiculously dirty shit man he was always telling you to smell his fingers and saying it was claiming it was different people in the cast that he figured oh that's fine i mean it was like he was ridiculous he was really funny i mean to the point where they would get mad at him you know and he he cracked me up man man. He was a serious blazer.

Phil Hartman used to get high every day, dude, especially after work. Like, he was very professional. But after work, he would get blazed. He would get blazed and go out on his boat. I went to a strip club with him once. I've never seen a guy who's... Because he was such a great guy.

He was so expressive. And he was a genuinely friendly guy. And this is a different era, okay? We're talking about the early 1990s. This was like 1995, you know? And it was like, you know, he was there, and the girl was dancing in front of him,

and he was like, there was no shame in it at all. He was so happy, because he was blasted. He was so happy, and he was looking at her, and she goes, I'll never forget his face. Look at go oh yeah that's beautiful that's beautiful that's cool he was like smiling like beautiful like you're beautiful whoo like he was just happy

it wasn't creepy yeah no that's great it was just a guy like looking at a girl's vagina and ass wow man i love i fucking beautiful i It's beautiful. I love people like that. I love people who are like that. I love people who are like that. Phil Hart, that guy, when he died, that hurt. That sucked. That was a tough one. He was a really good guy, man.

That was a tough one. Did I ever tell you how I found out? There was a girl who, I think she worked for like one of those, one of those tabloid shows. We had went on on one date, but just, you but just for whatever reason, it just didn't click. So I was at home, and it was like 8 o'clock in the morning. 8 o'clock in the morning. The phone rings, and it's her, and I'm like, what's going on? Why are you calling me at 8 o'clock in the morning?

And she's like, you don't know? I go, I don't know what. And she goes, I don't want to be the first one to tell you. I go, well, fucking tell me. What happened? And then she goes, Phil's dead. And I go, Phil Hartman? And she goes, yes.

She goes, it was a murder-suicide. I went, whoa. And first of all, I thought he killed her and then killed himself. You thought that first? Yeah. I mean, you hear murder-suicide, you just automatically think men are the ones who commit violent crimes. That's how I automatically assume. I don't think that.

I think crazy bitches are crazy and they would fucking shoot. I always think I'm going to get shot by a girl I'm dating. Well, that's because of the dating pool that you're drawing from, son. I think that's a good instinct. Yeah, the dating pool that you draw from has been peed in. I mean, you just assume. has been peed in. I mean, you just assume. I mean, don't you?

When you hear about a murder-suicide, you assume that it was the men? I know. I actually think girls. I actually really do. Wow, man. That's because you're so nice and you're not violent at all. That's what it is.

Well, I don't hang out with crazy guys. I bet because you hang out with fighters and a bunch of jujitsu guys, you're around a different kind of animal than I'm used to i'm used to like guys that have very friendly stop cards and stuff jiu-jitsu guys are very friendly man you'd be amazed first of all they their ego gets squashed real early because you get tapped out a lot when you learn jiu-jitsu especially in the early years you have to have a healthy ego or you'll never get through being a white belt being a white belt is demeaning men manhandle you you know it's i remember my first time i was training at

carlson gracie's on hawthorne street it's 1996 when i first started doing jujitsu and there was this kid who was a purple belt this brazilian kid he fucking would rape me just crush me every time we would roll and it drove me nuts because he wasn't any bigger than me. He was my size. He was my age. We were the same. And he would just fucking manhandle me. Dude would just toss me around and strangle me.

And I remember thinking, like, man, I can't believe that it's so easy for someone to do this to me. And then I knew, like, this guy was only a purple belt. He wasn't even a black belt. I'm like, fuck. Like, that feeling is not a good feeling. The feeling of getting your ass kicked like that in the gym is not a good feeling. But the only way to get good is you've got to get used to that. You've got to roll with good guys.

If you don't roll with good guys, you don't know whether or not you can really tap them. You don't know whether or not your shit only works on people who suck. You've got to get tapped. In the beginning, you've got to get strangled all the time. People are going to throw you around. They're going to dominate you. So if you can get through that, usually your egos are really in check. Jiu-jitsu guys are some of the friendliest, nicest, most easygoing guys that I've ever been around.

Kickboxers are a little more edgy. And one of the reasons is kickboxers, they don't go full out in the gym they sort of go they go hard but there's always like you're going too hard like there's a thing that happens in stand-up gyms it doesn't happen as much happens occasionally but not as much in jiu-jitsu and that's someone going too hard because in stand-up it's always an issue because you're not really fighting you have big gloves on the gloves are 16 ounces as opposed to four and when you're or you know eight or ten if you're kickboxing but when when you're not really fighting you have big gloves on the gloves are 16 ounces as opposed to four and when you're or you know eight or ten if you're kickboxing but when when you're throwing at each other you're supposed to be pulling back a little you know yeah so guys are always like yeah if I didn't pull back I could have fucking knocked your ass out there's some unresolved

issues with some guys so they some of them tend to be a bit more douchey. It's like, and then the more limited their sport is, the more insecure they are and the more douchey they are. Boxers are more douchey than kickboxers are more douchey. And it's all generalizations, but for the most part, jiu-jitsu guys and wrestlers seem to be the most easygoing. They go at it all the time. You blow all the stress out of your system and all that ego shit,

especially with jujitsu. You just get tapped all the time. You got to accept it. Yeah, man. It's spooky when you run into people who have a shitload of pinup aggression. Yes, scary. I was at the Grove,

and I had parked. It wasn't the greatest parking job ever. I'll admit, it was a shitty parking job. I'm getting in my car, and this old man is standing there looking at me. He's like, why did you park like that? And so it's forcing this weird confrontation in a parking lot. And the guys, you know that thing when you get around someone and you can feel your goosebumps happen? Like they're thinking about hitting you or something.

Yeah, like your body's telling you this is not a good good situation that was happening and it's like this old man i'm like fuck this could be that thing where the the guy's got a gun and he just this is where it pops this is where the volcano explodes and i end up getting blasted in the grove oh bang and they catch it in the background of mario lopez's e-show. Yeah. So he's got his show going on. And he's interviewing somebody and some old man shoots him. That's the worst. People fucking die like that all the time. People get smoked all the time by people who have these little volcanic explosions.

Wrong place at the wrong time. It's a real scenario. The other day I was driving and there was a biker in the road. And he was doing one of the road and he was like doing one of those things where he was like wobbling like i think the guy was drunk or something like and i just like kind of tried to go around him and then i just i did a i didn't do the horn the whole way i did like a you know like where you just barely touch it and it makes a noise you know not even loud at all and he's just like he starts screaming and just like

like he freaked out you know where i never saw that boulder boulder colorado you know why hundred thousand people that's why that's how you're supposed to live you're not supposed to live like this but man everybody's all on eggs man that's true you know there's some agro bikers in la man i saw i saw remember that guy just too many people fucking people in la you're you're crazy you're taking a huge risk if you're riding a bike places. I mean, I support your right to do it, and I'm cautious of bikes. I try to be cautious.

Me too. Wow, I look at them. I'm like, what a crazy risk you're taking. Dude, I've seen so many hipster bike accidents in Silver Lake. We were walking down the sidewalk, and you see a, you know, first it's a record from the thrift store they were at. Like they were biking one handed. A couple of books.

And then you come up to like a fucking hipster having a seizure. I've seen a hipster on the sidewalk seizing up as the ambulance came surrounded by old library books and weird like lace bags. So he crashed, no helmet on? No helmet. No helmet. No helmet. Crashes and just, but I saw a fucking minivan just pull into a parking lot and wasn't paying attention and just T-bone a biker. Threw him like 12 feet.

Just fucking dangerous. So I understand why bikers here are freaking out, but do you remember that guy at the comedy store? There was a biker that used to ride up and down Sunset and he was this super aggro biker Fucking ripped and I saw a guy yell at him in his car like what you did a comic No, so just some bicycler used to hang out. He was always there always there. He was always pissed He's always screaming at traffic and I remember like some car was like watch out because he's

Weaving in and out of traffic and the guy just stops his bike because i don't think people realize that with bikers we're so used to in cars there's this like i can get away from you i can say something a bicycler can weave through traffic at a stoplight and just attack you like they can get you we forget that there's no enclosure around them we forget that yeah yeah people have like gotten used to like the delay and violence between cars where you're like well fuck you it's too much work i don't get out of the car and fucking get all the way to you you know this guy's an open fucking air and he's like weaving in and out of sunset boulevard traffic and he's deranged and so some idiot says something to him and the guy this is what he's been waiting to happen he like stops his bike

turns and looks at the guy and not this you could just hear he meant this he's like i'm gonna put you in the hospital i'm gonna break your fucking jaw is what he said and it was just such venom and evil and anger spewing out of this he didn't he didn't there's people yeah you can't be a cunt there's people that want to punch people. If you run into them, you're a cunt. Yeah. But, I mean, isn't it interesting that we have this sort of escalated anger that exists inside cars because we don't have to socially interact with each other.

We don't have to, like, feel it. Yeah. You know? You don't have to feel the repercussions, the social repercussions of being a shithead. So people just get so elevated in cars. They pop. That's why I like SUVs. I don't think I could ever go back down to like a small little car because you feel even more protected in an SUV.

Because the shit goes down. You just run the person over and go over in a couple cars and escape. You watch too many movies. What if you get a flat? What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, it's weird how you just assume. But it's funny also the things that people say when they're in cars. There's a video of Nick Diaz, and he had missed a press conference,

and he was supposed to go and fight George St. Pierre, but they pulled him from the fight because he missed a couple of press conferences. So he made a video about it. And this is a video, like a public video, and he's in his car, and as he's driving making this video he someone won't let him in he's like let me in let me in fuck your mother oh fuck your mother it's like when people say shit like that that's funny man because he wouldn't say fuck your mother if you were right in front of him if you were like some lady but you know but if you're a if it's a lady

and she's in a car in front of you you don't even have to worry about hurting her feelings you can say the most ruthless shit. Dude, when I'm driving, I try to chant to relax. You do? Yes, I do. So I'll be chanting when I'm driving. Like what chant? I'm driving through traffic.

I hate driving, so I'm chanting to relax. And inevitably, someone will cut me off. And in the middle of chanting, I'll be like, you stupid fucking bitch! You fucking whore! Just break into full rage. cut me off and in the middle of chanting I'd be like you stupid fucking bitch that's hilarious that's what's really there you know that's a joke you should say fuck yeah that's hilarious you should talk about that on stage you could you could go far with that concept cool that's cool yeah well that's the unavoidable stress of living in cities there's too much tension. This is not healthy. You know, we're all redlining every day.

Yeah, it's so weird, man. Small communities are nicer. It's just, you know, you deal with or you used to deal with in the age before the Internet. You dealt with a lot more small-minded people. You dealt with a lot more religious wackos if you wanted to live in the middle of nowhere. It's tough to get away from the really, really religious people. You know what, man? I had a, speaking of religious people, I had a real American moment today where I was like, man, this is a pretty good country.

I was, because like, you know the inception at birth thing that just got overturned? You know about this? No, what is that? So I can't, can you see where it was, man? Was it, I can't remember where it was. Can you look up? Can you do it for me? Tilt the logo of your mic towards you.

You're talking to the side of the, no, no, the logo on the front of the mic. There's a thing on the, right here. On the front of the mic. See like this? Yeah. See, it's around here. Find, look at the part where it's written and point that towards your face. Oh, gotcha.

See it? Yeah. Yeah, I got it. There you go. Ooh, that sounds so much better. Hello. There you go. You're back.

So, yeah, man, it's like personhood at conception. I need another water. There you go. Ooh, that sounds so much better. Hello. There you go. You're back. So, yeah, man. It's like personhood at conception. I need another water. Personhooded. Yeah. I think that's what it's called. It's called personhood. So, like, it's this thing where they want to basically, they want to say that. I can't remember the exact words for it.

They have an exact word for it. I can't remember the term. Say it again. Like, say, look up conception, personhood at conception. Like, say, look up conception personhood at conception. It's the idea is, like, when conception happens, when the fucking eggs are on the uterine wall and are fertilized by a sperm, that is now a human being. That's a person.

So they were trying to pass that, which would make all forms of abortion illegal and maybe even birth control, depending on, like, how you look at it. So anyway anyway it got overturned the voters overturned it and they were thinking it wouldn't get overturned but it was like super religious fundamentalists were trying when you say overturned you mean it passed it didn't pass and they thought it was gonna there it is well isn't overturned means something person who's passed and then overturned no i'm sorry it didn't get voted for it didn't make it

in it was a measure that didn't get voted for. It lost, and people were saying it was going to win. So it was cool. The political system in that one case worked where they thought it wouldn't. Scary shit, man. Scary shit. Well, you know, it's also scary when you think about what abortion really is. That's scary, too.

I mean, you're taking a baby, and you're sucking it out of your pussy with a vacuum. It's definitely too expensive. Well, there's different... You know what, man? There's a lot of versions of abortion that I think are fucking horrible and I totally am not for, but there is definitely cases

where it should happen. Well, not only that, how about it's up to the person who's carrying the baby inside of them. Until the baby's born, it's up to them. I mean, I think if, you know, if you have an aborted kid that's perfectly healthy and it's like six months old inside your body, like that's kind of crazy. But I know that people have done that in the past. I think if it's not for a medical reason, it's not, you know, and I don't know if they, it's those fucking partial birth abortions.

You know about those, right? Yeah. They ice pick the fucking brain of the baby. It's those fucking partial birth abortions. You know about those, right? Yeah. They ice pick the fucking brain of the baby. It's a baby. I mean, I think that definitely shouldn't happen. That's crazy. That's crazy. It's almost like, I don't see it.

I don't see it. I don't see it. I know what you're talking about. La, la, la, la, la, la, la. Yeah, just put a blanket on your baby. Why don't you give birth to the thing and cover it in a blanket and ice pick it? Since it's inside the pussy and you don't see me sticking the ice pick in its head, it's okay. It's okay.

If it was outside and I jabbed it in front of you and then chopped it up into pieces, you'd be like, you just killed the baby. Or if it came out for a second and you put it back in, couldn't do it. Same baby, but if you pulled it out of the vagina and put it back in, you couldn't ice pick it once it had been in the air. Yeah. The rule is once it's been in the air, you can't kill it anymore. Then it's a person. Then it's alive. Yeah, that's fucked up.

That doesn't make sense. How crazy is it? Yeah. It's really strange. I mean, and, you know, this is a taboo subject. This is a subject you're supposed to, if you're a rational, open-minded person, you're supposed to just favor choice, you know, which I do. Yeah, I mean, I don't think any should be i think it's a real slippery slope it's a real slippery slope when someone tells you what you

can and can't do with your body you know it seems like you're killing a baby but i guess you should be able to do it you know well these are it's it's yeah we've discussed this before it's much easier when it's a small couple cells. It's much easier to rationalize, but it's on its way to being a baby, you know? Well, just, it depends on where the thing is,

you know? And it depends on, it depends on a lot of different things. It's like, everyone wants to make these sweeping things. Like one, one, the two sides of it are,

it should all, the two extreme sides are, it should be, it should be illegal no matter what. Even if a rapist impregnated the woman and the baby's gonna kill her then it she should have that baby and we'll raise the baby up to his name say his name lord jesus christ we'll raise that rapist baby up to jesus christ and he could be the next president now that's he rick berry stumble what's that

did you see rick berry stumble yeah it was awesome it was such hilarious it was such a fucking it was uncomfortable to watch that was hilarious to think that you don't know that yeah you forgot you don't know that you forgot that yeah you're running for president how the fuck are we gonna let you keep track of the world's military presence isn't he the executioner isn't rick perry the one who had like shit loads of people he executed oh yeah in texas in texas yeah yeah yeah he's including controversial ones he sends them to the fryer yeah they send a lot of them to the fryer which you know listen if people are cunts i kind of like that i like getting rid of them but i don't trust the political system that's the problem yeah that's the that that

is it yeah that's number one but rick perry's you got to break a few eggs to make an omelet kind of guy. It's like if I got to fucking kill a couple of nice people to fry a bunch of assholes, then, well, that's the price you pay for liberty. Yeah. He is one of those guys, right? Yeah. That's what he's like. He's a fucking asshole is what he is, man.

I mean, you can't. It's like that's the main thing. Until we perfect the system, the death, the government, the legal system, you can't have the death penalty. You can't. It's not part of being a citizen of the United States does not mean that you've got to risk being falsely imprisoned and executed because the legal system isn't perfect. That's wrong. You can't give the ultimate punishment unless you've really perfected the system yeah until we know like until we know

100 i know there's way better methods now than there've ever been before when you include genetics and just yeah i've watched csi i'm pretty sure i'm up to what they're up to but still it's still fucking there's a lot of doubt in some cases this and there's also fucking shady cops man there's people who plant evidence they plant evidence it happens all the time you know it's it's not something that's never taken place in the history of man it is most certainly taken place it's been proven so you you gotta know your system is fucking airtight and it's just not. Also, what if someone actually reforms?

Yeah. While they're in prison, what if someone is actually now a good person? Are you still going to kill them? It depends on what they did. If they killed people. Let's say they killed someone. Yeah. I'm biblical on that, man.

You're Sharia on that. Yeah, I'm my friend on that. It's Sharia law. I think there's certain justifiable homicides. I think I believe in that. I believe in if someone's trying to kill you. Like I heard this story. Who told me this story? Was it you about the death metal band?

Yeah. Yeah, you tell me. Tell me the story. You told me on the plane. Yeah, okay. Tell me the story. So here's the story. There's a-

Perfect example of justifiable homicides. There's a documentary on Norwegian death metal that I saw on Netflix. So if I fuck up the story for death metal fans out there, I apologize. I'm going to tell it as best as I can remember it. But so the idea is there's it's about Burzum. Basically, it's about this group. You know, like how like where did punk form? Did punk were in the UK?

So punk forms and there's like a group of like punk bands wherever there's an art movement there's a group of artists who are like the core of the of the movement or even in like music you know like with gangster rap there was nwa there's a bunch of tea yeah right and they all kind of form together so norway's answer to that is norwegian death metal where these fucking guys decide that they're gonna go hardcore and be like truly truly as dark as you can get terrible people terrible well they they like so they started burning down churches they started going through the countryside burning down churches and uh one in one of the bands one of the band members was so depressed because he's into

death metal and that's all they think about his death that he goes back to his house puts a gun in his mouth and blows his brains out and the other guy in the band comes to the house sees his dead body takes a picture of his fucking head and uses that as the cover of their next album. Holy shit. Yeah, it's just fucking hardcore, man. So they're burning down churches and Burzum hears that this other guy

who was his competitor, he had some history with, he heard that this guy was saying yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna kill i'm gonna kill him i'm just gonna kill him and uh he was bragging about he's gonna kill him so this guy's like oh well okay he wants to kill me he's going to kill me so i'm gonna have to kill him first and he got in his car and he drove to where the guy was and he fucking executed the guy he killed him he went to jail he's in jail in norway oh play burzum receiving his life sentence wait till you see this can we play that on youtube i don't know i think

so so he gets like not life sentence is the movie brian how is i'm noticing this before we play this how would you have me reversed you have my left hand my right hand and my right hand my left hand it's so that's freaking me out it's it's so that it looks like we're all talking to each other yeah that's cool oh that's so bizarre yeah yeah look up uh burzum received sentence and it's really weird because the guy gets like a 27 year sentence in prison because that's all they can give in norway and he gives it yeah and he gives the creepiest smile whoa he just so how many years has he been in for i think i don't know. I don't follow death metal that much.

You can only get 27 years no matter what you do. Something like that. God, I feel like I'm sorry, man. You guys, I feel like I've thrown out some wonky facts. I only have a fuzzy understanding of everything. How do you say the guy's name again? Burzum. B-U-R-Z-U-M.

Say the guy's name again. Burzum. B-U-R-Z-U-M. Vlad something. Vrignus or something. Vlad Vrignus. Let me see. Yeah, that's him.

What does it say? In his smile. Yeah. This one? That's the guy who did it. That's the guy. They were burning down churches, man. They were burning down these antique wooden churches.

And someone wanted to kill him. Yeah. Crank that shit. Let me hear that. All right. Varg Vikernes, 1173. Dömmes en straf av fengsel i 21 år. You see that? Oh, he's smiling.

Look at that grin. That's because fucking prison in Norway is like a country club. Is it really? and get an attempt at the ill-fitting reformation rather than revenge like in the united states it's like exacting punishment we must punish you we're going to take it out of your hide there they're like look let's let's try to fix them maybe there's a way to make it so that uh they don't go back into society you know as criminals still we might be able to just fix them you know fix the problem wow because i mean the death penalty you don't have how do you feel about that oh i think it's genius you think it's does it work uh i don't know i don't know you know one of the works it's great you know when we were in uh england do you remember uh there was a moment where like i was talking to the crowd about how polite people are

in england like this is crazy like this is so different than America yeah the way people act the way people behave the crowds they're just so different and in Norway they're probably like pretty nice folks for the most bad right I mean this is what they're trying to do yeah you know I mean think of nice and friendly people are in England and this probably it's probably real similar in Norway it's almost like that system has to be in place almost from the get-go. It's like once you get as rotten as the prison system

that we have today, to take those people and just shove them into country clubs and make everything nice and fun and easy. The thing is, man, there's so many other... What did McKinnna call it? Do you know what I'm saying?

Do you think that that would ever possibly work? Well, you have to, I think you have to mix in some pharmaceuticals. You have to be able to legally give them mushrooms and psychedelics in combination with, like, really radical therapies to reform them. To reform the way they're thinking. Yeah. And you can't do that now. You can't do that now. But they used to. Timothy Leary was the way they're thinking. Yeah. And you can't do that now. You can't do that now. But they used to.

Timothy Leary was doing it with Alpert. They were doing experiments with reforming prisoners, and they would go into jails and eat mushrooms with the prisoners. They would trip with the prisoners. Whoa. Yeah, and it was, you know, anyone who's done a psychedelic, if you think about it, you're like, oh, yeah, this could really, this, if anything, can fix a person's're like oh yeah this could really this if anything can uh

fix a person's deep psychic problems this could do it if was if it was done the right way you know but with because of the what is uh what did mckinnon call it the pharmacological inquisition that is happening right now these substances are you can barely even experiment with them and now that they have johns hopkins university, oh yeah, if you eat mushrooms, it'll improve your personality. Yeah. You know? So,

so maybe that's the key. Maybe, you know, the Hopkins study will lead to more studies, which will lead to, you know, treatments for like people who have, you know,

are all these studies when they get to do these, do these studies, all these people that are taking these studies are usually people that need money and probably are depressed anyway so uh they probably made everybody's life uh happy see the thing is man you know what i mean like they don't take like really nice wealthy uh golfers that are retired on florida go hey take this study they're probably taking like people that need a quick 300 no they're very strict about it they have like when they do when they're getting applicants especially for big studies like these they have like that's part of the when the fda is approving this shit right that's part that's a big part of what they go through is like where are you getting

your control group where are you getting your where you're getting your group from that you're doing the study on because if it was like you're thinking about the way they do tests for tv shows you know i'm saying that like is these studies like the same that i used to do in college or are these studies like a bunch of poor people or they're like a mix of these studies because that means a lot john hopkins study where they're studying you can you can look up there's like housewives and the johns hopkins studies they were like intentionally trying to find people who are like not as familiar with mushrooms or hadn't taken them because but needed a quick 300 for the study you know what i'm saying that's what i'm saying yeah yeah you know i don't i don't know

man and it's a good point because all those people if they take mushrooms their life's gonna feel better because they're fucking you know what i don't like i don't like eating mushrooms when i'm fucking broke and if i was in a i don't know that i don't know that i don't know that i don't know the income i don't that sucks When you're tripping and you start thinking about bills, that's a fucking shitty trip, man. Well, yeah. It depends on how much it weighs on you. For some people, when you're broke, it's all day. It weighs on you.

Other people can just kind of brush it off, and they don't seem to give a fuck. I consider it a party drug. Like, I want to fucking leave this reality. I want to just get the fuck out of this, you know? That's what you consider mushrooms? Yeah. Yeah, I do, too. this reality i want to just get the fuck out of this you know that's what you consider mushrooms yeah yeah i do too but along the way uh you know it's always this white knuckle ride where you're scared as fuck before you do it and then once you do it you realize god why was i ever scared of

this and then after it's over you you know you sort of assess whatever you've kind of absorbed whatever fish you've caught in your golden net that's cool man you know yeah you catch some fish i have but i never mushrooms i've never thought of them as like a part go out party drug i i you know like in the in the days when i would take it acid was that like i could go out and like have fun or like go out into the i wanted to go i'd go to like when i was a kid you go to shopping malls and trip just did you ever get to a point where you weren't lucid, like you couldn't communicate? With LSD? Yeah, like when you're talking – you're out and you're talking to people and you just can't keep it together, like you can't communicate with them? Not when I was out.

I mean I've taken like – I took a really powerful dose and tried to have a conversation with the girl I was taking it with, and I sounded like a schizophrenic. I was having like word salad because like we had just just gone to some Greek festival and I'd watched these little kids dancing and, and I was like sitting watching these kids like doing some weird Greek traditional dance. And it was like, it felt like I could see through the concrete and it, I felt like there was like,

it just felt like this beautiful moment where it was like the universe is like, you know, the, this is this is like watching a flower. Like it's a traditional weird dance. It's so cool the way the universe can express beauty in that way. And so I was like tripping and sitting on the couch and I'm trying to like tell her and universe flower, flower, beautiful. God, yeah. You know, that kind of word salad?

Just shit? Because I was so spellbound and also tripping so hard, my language centers have gotten fucked up. I mean, when you see someone on a heavy dose of acid, they have a problem talking. Their language gets all mixed up and weird. My last shroom thing, I couldn't even walk. That was the first time I ever did a psychedelic where I couldn't use my feet i fell to wow that's crazy fell to the ground in the presence of jesus

praise say his name dude do you want to hear my podcast prayer yeah i do but uh i wanted to ask you something i just forgot what i wanted to ask you um oh oh did you know that ted kaczynski was involved in the harvard lsd studies you told me that It's fucking crazy, man. There's a whole documentary about it. It's not an American one. It's called The Net, and it's all about how they caught him, and it's all about how he got started. And I think there's certain people

that are accusing that study of wrecking his brain, and that he was a fairly normal guy and once he went through the lsd study they cooked him they they cooked his mind yeah but they probably gave him crazy high doses well i don't think they do i don't think they knew back then they didn't know they were fucking around you know i think there was a lot of experiment no way they knew man they were just fine who knows they had no idea how they know what the correct dose was 32 ounce of acid oh it could have been man it could have been they did some nutty shit to people people made some big mistakes man people made some big mistakes they tried to cover it though

they tried to cover the fact that kaczynski was a part of their uh their studies because it's a real embarrassment i mean i don't when i say they i don't even know who the fuck they are i might have made that up how about that but what did, what did happen is the guy became a professor of mathematics for a few years at, I think it was university of California, Berkeley. And he just did it to make enough money to buy this cabin in the woods and plot his attack on technology. He was gone, man. He was gone. This guy was out alone in the woods if you don't know the story of the unabomber you know if you're a young child if you're you know coming to us under the age of 20 you might not even have ever heard of it before but it was a guy who was a brilliant brilliant guy

who was targeting all these various people that were involved in technology and fucking blowing their heads off sending mail bombs yeah yeah and he was doing it all from a fucking shack in the middle. Building mail bombs. Look at your unibomber. Yeah, remember? That's what he did. Wow. That's right.

That was like the sketch that they had of him. And he was really terrorizing people for a long time. And they were having a really hard time figuring out who the fuck he was. They knew he was a genius, but they couldn't figure out who he was. And then he released a manifesto and his brother read the manifesto and his brother said he knew. He said he knew right away.

He's like, oh, this is my crazy ass fucking psycho brother that lost his mind to LSD. He was living in the woods in a box. He's got like this wooden box that he lives in in the middle of the woods. He thought that technology was eventually going to take over

and technology was the enemy to uh take over and technology was the enemy and it was uh yeah there's a whole form of like anarchy there's a guy zurzan if you look up john zurzan i think his name's heard that name before yeah he's this intense like anarchist he's like anti-technology which is weird because he's got a blog but kaczynski um was right in a way though right i mean technology is sort of taking over our lives and eventually is going to be a part of our lives permanently you know once you start going to what is that Zerzan I mean you start getting to the point where people become human hybrids you know when we become cyborgs you know technology literally will take over yeah totally man I

mean it's like there he saw i mean he saw a path and i mean it's a horrible thing that he did but it's fascinating that blowing his brain out on acid would make him reach that conclusion i mean i might be simplifying his position it was a factor it was probably a factor if the guy was already imbalanced or was already off taking like heavy doses of harvard lsd back back in the day, that's not going to help you. Do you think it's possible to do that to a person who's fine? Do you think you can take you and just blast your fucking brain out and you never come back? Fuck yeah.

What about MKUltra? The government experiments with mind control and the idea of creating a psychedelic bomb. I thought you were talking about Maddie Kirsch. that's what that's maddie kirsch's nickname uh yeah mk ultra man yeah so the the psychedelic bomb what do you mean like what were they trying to do they're trying that's have you ever seen jacob's ladder yes that's what that's yeah it's like that that it's like the idea is they were um uh they were experimenting with some kind of psychedelic that you could drop on troops like a nerve agent. And they would just all trip out.

Yeah. Fall down and trip out. You can't fight if you're tripping really hard enough. That's so true. So like that, it was like they were- What a great idea that is. Great idea. Yeah, just bonk everybody out on acid.

Sure. That's awesome. Fucking love bombs. Wow, a bomb. They need that in coffee. So they wanted it to explode in the air, and somehow or another, everybody would get infected with acid. I don't know how they were going to fucking distribute it. It was probably gas.

If you would think that LSD, you just need a tiny amount of LSD. It was explained. But this shit wasn't LSD, Joe. This was like something they were trying to make to give you fucked up trips. It wasn't like they wanted to give you a nice LSD trip. Some of the stuff they whipped up. Yeah, but I mean, even if it was just a strong LSD, if you blew it on the troops, they'd be jacked. Oh, yeah.

Did you try it, Duncan? LSD troops? No, the shit that they were talking about is like a – they were like – it was a bad trip. It's like an evil death trip. It's not a good trip. And everybody would just fall down and be twitching in this trip. Oh, my God. But is that more humane than nuking them?

Than killing them. Yeah. Which is better? That's better. For sure. For sure. Make people trip out. It's better than nuking them.

Have you ever met a guy that likes bad trips? Like that was his bondage. Like I just need the worst trip. Like it's his fetish. I'm about to die. I guess. Yeah. You know, that's a real terror though.

People pretend they like terror. Nobody likes terror. You pretend you like terror because you want to be different or dangerous or moody or dark. But real terror. Bad trips are no good. You don't want that, bitch. Did I ever tell you about the time i saw a woman freaking out on acid at a rave no we were leaving it was in the morning it's me and my

friend were leaving and this girl walks this girl's like crying and standing by herself and we went up there i'm like you're all right can we help you and she's like i lost my friends and uh i can't find him we're like okay well why don't we where you know we're like we'll give you right home we'll take you home um where do you live is or do you have a car here we're trying to help her out her eyes were fucking black as the as night black as the wings just dilated like so we're like so we're good so we're walking up the steps with her and all of a sudden she goes where is my mother i came from her womb i came from her womb and she's just screaming and we're like oh fuck this is a real bad trip she's melting down so we get to the top of the steps.

All of a sudden, she's back to normal. She's like, my friends, I can't find my friends, and I really would like to. So we look over, and there's some paramedics, and we wave them down. They get her, put her on a table, straps, strapped her down, and the last thing I saw her was on a fucking table in front of a rave

writhing and going back into my mother i came from her womb strapped yeah they had to man she's having a psychotic break holy she lost it she took some shit and freaked the fuck out and that was from acid i don't know i mean something that dilated her eyes could have been a million things don't eat the brown ass don't eat the brown acid don't eat the bread mean, something that dilated her eyes could have been a million things. Don't eat the brown acid. Don't eat the brown acid. Don't eat the brown. That, to me, with my luck, it feels like that's something I would have heard right after I'd eaten the brown acid. Someone had just swallowed that stuff. Don't eat the brown acid.

That's the problem with drugs being illegal. You don't know what the fuck you're going to get. Yeah, and most people don't know how to take them. No one educates people on how to take them, so you end up with some fucking dumb, dopey kid who slurps back too much acid or whatever at a fucking rave and ends up in a mental asylum probably for a few days. How many people do you think have gone crazy because of acid?

Has anybody gone crazy because of anything else? Like, no one's gone crazy because of mushrooms, right? I don't know. Has that ever happened? I've never heard of that. I think if you're borderline anything, it could definitely push you over to the crazy side. Yeah, well, I remember one particular DMT trip where reality was real slippery for like two weeks afterwards where I felt like I might be a little crazy. Right. I remember I felt like this is, I've seen something that doesn't make any sense, and

I got there so easy, and it's so much more vibrant than this world, that it's very difficult for me to accept this world. So I start looking at this world as if this world might be some sort of an artificial construct, and that might be the real world. It sounds completely retarded until you've had a real full-blown psychedelic trip because when you have a real full-blown one, that world that you enter, whatever the fuck that is,

that world of hallucination, I mean, hallucination is a strange word because it implies something. You see something that's not there. Yeah. And I'm not necessarily sure that that's the correct way to look at it. I think you might be seeing something that is there but you just can't see normally. is not there yeah and i'm not necessarily sure that that's the correct way to look at it i i

think you you might be some seeing something that is there but you just can't see normally i think that's more likely i don't i don't think i mean i think you know people see fucking you know a six foot tall rabbit that wants to take you to a secret room yeah you're probably hallucinating yeah you are definitely hallucinating if you're not you're in fucking trouble but if you go so far that the world around you has dissolved you you know at that point in time this might not be imagination this might be another reality it might be something that you're just not capable of tuning into on a regular basis see this is a pro this this makes me think of a problem that i think is going to happen in the future which is that once they figure out how to like neurally uh put video games in your mind people are going to start having these

real big problems differentiating uh virtual reality from actual reality and there's going to be some serious problems up ahead because i it's like imagine know, what's the new, what's the Modern Warfare 3 that just came out? Like, imagine that, you know, six generations of consoles and computers down the line. Right. You know? And so whatever that is, however they-

It's gonna taste good. They're gonna feel it. They might have smells involved in it. But what happens when that reality gets so good that you can no longer distinguish good it you can no longer distinguish realities you can no longer distinguish virtual world worlds from real worlds because they're triggering the same thing in your brain that reality is triggering right now but they're doing with computers so it's indistinguishable so how do you know when you've turned off the game

how do you know when you're not playing anymore this is hippie talk man oh fuck this is what if man you're right you're i don't think this is a what if i i will admit to a million what ifs but this this seems like if you think of where it's hard if you think of where atari was back in the when you remember when atari came out do you remember that shit right you saw that for me it was like holy shit you have to consider the possibility that if this life is some sort of an illusion that it's some sort of an ever-changing illusion and that you're constantly in a part of it and maybe when you have these psychedelic trips you wake up temporarily from the illusion maybe psychedelics are like like like that sniffing shit that they give you when you get knocked out

yeah smelling salts which is what huh what's going on where am i yeah that's it maybe that's what it is yeah i know that this is the work of fiction like it appears to be yeah this is just some kind of or it's just like really low down on the spectrum of awareness i mean it is happening but you're only seeing one tiny pixel of the bigger thing it does many times feel like it's a work of fiction though, doesn't it? Yeah. Can I tell you when it really felt like a work of fiction? When we flew on Air France first fucking class to the UK.

That was, for me, it got really, really surreal and weird. When we were sitting in that lounge. I never fly first class. So this was the kind of first class that I'd read about. If you're out there and you've never flown Air France first class, first of all, please stay away from me because I don't like talking with people who haven't flown first class Air France. But I felt corrupted in the first 30 minutes.

I was like, holy shit. This is so, like, different from any other flight. It made every other first class experience I've had seem like shit. Seemed like some, it was. Well, you know what was really creepy? You know what a creepy move that they did, man? What? Everybody was, there was first class, which was really nice.

Then there was business class, which was still really nice. And then there was coach, which always sucks. Well, we got up, the plane landed and a lady went through the aisle telling the business class people to get out of the way and let the first class people get off the plane first. That's right.

It's like Titanic shit. I was like, whoa. It's like Titanic shit. Yeah. But I've never seen anyone do it as aggressively as this lady did it. She almost pushed a guy back. Yeah.

There was a guy who was trying to get through. She's like, sir, no, no, stay there. And then we all walk by. If you have a connecting flight, there's a Bond girl basically waiting in some kind of town car that picks you up,

drives you to the security check-in. You go through the security check-in. Basically, they're treating you like you're a toddler. They take you through the security check-in and're basically they're treating you like you're a toddler they take you through the security check-in and then you go up to this lounge there's this special air france lounge in paris and we're sitting there robin williams walks robin williams that's where things seem like fiction where it's like okay really i don't know him i don't want to bug him yeah we didn't say hi but it was very weird. I would have bugged the fuck out of him.

Yeah. I've been bugged, so leave him alone. I don't need to talk to him. I just, you know. Yeah. I mean, yeah. It would feel weird talking to him. He's a comedy story guy, though.

You're awesome in that Matt Damon movie, man. What's that? You're awesome in that Matt Damon movie, man. Yeah. What was it? I like the photographer one. Oh, that was creepy as fuck. Yeah, he's a good actor.

One hour further or something. But yeah, it is weird how they push people aside. They want the first class people to get off first. They made everybody sit down. That was disgusting. It's disgusting,

and it's also, that's how a lot of people have grown accustomed to living every moment of their lives. You realize that the wealthy have, because sometimes I'll go out to a public place where there's a shitload of people and I'll walk around, I'll be like, man, I fucking hate being around all these people. This sucks. I don't like being in big crowds. It's annoying. It feels weird. And then I'll be like, you're being negative, man. You got to open up more. You shouldn't let this bother you. But I think a lot

of super wealthy people they're like they analyze that feeling like yeah we don't want to be around anyone we just want to be around a small groups of people sequestered from society that are like us that don't need our money yeah that's it and they've they've they've essentially of you know how like the galapagos islands have their own species from being separated yeah i think like super rich people they're they're they have their own species pop and they have this own thing happening where they don't even they're they're really separated from us like they don't know they don't even know about you i bet there's some super wealthy people

they don't even fucking know about occupy wall street they don't oh that's ridiculous i wouldn't be surprised oh come on that's impossible at this point that's absolutely impossible it felt like if to me it felt like there is a gigantic foam separation between like us and them did you see the berkeley footage no i didn't cops with batons just shoving them into the guts of these little kids. Girls, too. Girls shoving these batons into their sides, just jabbing them over and over. And then the kids are screaming. The kids are in a crowd.

Okay, so the kids are in the front of the crowd, and they can't even go anywhere. There's people behind them. So these cops are, to push the crowd back, the cops are thrusting their batons into the unlucky people that are at the front of the line. And they're little people, man. Little skinny kids. And these cops are fucking jabbing them with batons. It's really uncomfortable, man.

Brian, you have really got a great studio going on here. Brian, the thing isn't even in focus. No, this isn't it. That's not it. It's probably one of many times it's happened. It's just one of the many footage of the cops beating people. They're sticking...

Look at him. I see him. Look at him doing that shit, man. They're poking him. This isn't as clear. Yeah, they're hitting him. Holy shit. I haven't seen this one.

They're just beating them. Who the fuck are these people? I haven't seen this one. They're just beating them. You're hurting them! Who the fuck are these people? It's because that's who we let them learn how to fucking treat us. That's how we train them to fucking stop us. You can't forget to fucking hurt us. It's so crazy that this small group of men, it's like a classic, they're screaming, stop beating students.

This small group of men has to face this gigantic horde of unarmed people. And a small group of men, you know, they immediately have to automatically go on the defensive. Look at them. They have bulletproof vests on and fucking helmets and guns strapped to their side and batons. And they also have to wear riot gear with face shields and shit.

I mean, they're coming at you, letting you know that they're there to fight. I mean, look. This is what it is. Look, they're wearing helmets with face shields and shit, man. But I like the guy's shirt. Pink shirt?

This guy? That guy's shirt. I hate his belt, though. That guy's shirt's a baton target. You're not Conan the Barbarian, dude. Get a real belt. Now, why are they telling them to get off the property, or why are they? It's a good question.

Yeah, what are they doing here? Are they scooping these people off the property, I'm guessing? they're checking them for lice um you know obviously they're telling people to stand back and the people look you know if if there's a crowd of people the people at the front are gonna get pushed forward man oh shit oh yo this is dark stuff man look at this boot boot to the neck wow fucking. He's a fucking bastard. He's going shin to neck. That's shitty control, by the way. It's like that movie Akira.

It's not a good way to hold people down. Don't teach them. Go shin to neck on a normal person. They get right up, stupid. Yeah. Try tickling first. That's just trying to hurt somebody when you go shin to neck. Unless someone else is holding them in the back.

That's mean. go shitting neck unless someone else is holding them in the back that's mean they're trying to enforce you know they're trying to like make them feel pain as they're cuffing them you know that's right they throw them down really hard they're really rough well it's not like that they're um did you see me just shut you didn't need to shove her like that who are these guys who are these guys what do these guys do after work i don't't know. These are cops, man. We need to find out specifically who these people are and create special videos with their names and their badge numbers. There's already occupied people. But there needs to be a website just dedicated to identifying the police

at these protests who are being violent and pressing charges against them and suing them and making it so that it becomes financially uh dangerous for the individual to act the way that they're acting because if these cops if we if we could just get one of them and i'm not saying get one violently obviously i'm saying but if we can just get one legally or financially if one of these cops can go down like that then then all of them will start being afraid and they won't be so prone to use violence like that. That should be, someone should be taking charge of that.

This is so surreal to me that this is happening right now. This is, what a sign of the times this is, man. It's like watching an Alex Jones dream or something. This is like the shit he was talking about. Oh, he's right. This is what he's been talking about forever. This is what Ilex jones he's right 70 of the time 70 of the time he's right this is a 30 of the crazy stuff that he kind of makes up that but i don't want to even say makes up he he just he gets he goes a little too deep on certain subjects these police are i i don't know because i mean who knows but it's i it's hard for me to

believe that they're thinking about the new world order or protecting globalization it feels like they're just normal guys who are doing it's a terrible position to be in i mean imagine if you're a cop and all of a sudden they tell you this is what you have to do you have to get the hippies off the lawn uh sir there's 300 000 of them what are you gonna do how are you gonna get them off the lawn good luck man you i mean what are you supposed to do we will the mayor has ordered you to clear the lawn so we must clear the lawn you can't clear that lawn man what if you're a cop what the fuck are you gonna do you know i the cops are obviously being sent there to keep these people from protesting or push them off of certain areas or keep them from entering certain places but at the end of the day you know they're

stuck they're they're there's there end of the day, they're stuck. There's no excuse for what they're doing. There's no excuse for beating those people. There's no excuse for prodding those people. They should absolutely not be cops because they can't handle that if they're doing that. You don't have to hit someone who's not hitting you, man. None of those people were hitting back.

It wasn't like they were in danger and they had to protect themselves. No, they were ragdolling people, man. There needs to be a public shaming of those guys of those guys there needs to be you know how it's also this here's the other part though the fucking the the occupy movement all right there's a lot of shenanigans going on a lot of it is just nuts it's not all a bunch of people with valid points that are out there trying to resolve the issues that we currently have a lot of it's just crazy assholes you know i mean it's not all

activists at these fucking things these things are magnets for chaos they're magnets for various like constant patterns of behavior in humanity also but that by now stereotypical patterns of behavior in humanity. Also, but by now. Stereotypical patterns of behavior like hippies, thugs, drug dealers, chaos. There's homeless people. There's a lot going on. I mean, it's a community of people that have taken to occupying giant chunks. Dude, they showed Occupy Everywhere. It was a poster that someone put up online on the message board.

I looked at it. It showed all the different places where people are protesting. Like, what the fuck, man? That's when it really hit. There's a photo. It says Occupy Everywhere. See if you could find that, dude. There's Occupy US and Occupy Everywhere.

And the photos are fucking trippy, dude. When you look at all the different protests, you're like, whenever has it been like this before? Never. It's never been like this before. This is incredible. This is a strange, strange time, and it snuck up on us. It was so

quick. All of a sudden, there's protests everywhere, and it really makes you take into consideration, like, where's the end point? They can't win. You know that Martin Luther King? they can't win you know that martin luther who can't win the fucking pigs they're not gonna win don't get to the time machine man are you talking about the coppice she no the pigs man that's the best word when you see some fucking fatty with a baton poking a 17 year old girl there is no better description for that man than pig oinker piggy that's what that guy is

he's a fucking disgusting fucking pig a useless cowardly human who's been hired by evil people to uh push down the force of evolution in the universe and if you try to stop evolution you're fucked i don't know what's going to happen to that pig or the people like him, but it's not going to be great. You can't hold it back what's happening. It won't work. I think as soon as you turn cops loose on people, cops are used to dealing with the enemy.

They're used to dealing with criminals. They're used to behaving a certain way because out in their world, they have to behave that way if you want to stay alive as a cop you got to take no bullshit from any fucking perps you gotta you know you gotta arrest people you got to deal with dangerous violent criminals that don't want to go to jail and know that you want to put them in jail it's a fucking high pressure high stress job absolutely the person to blame is not those cops it sounds like they should be to blame but the person to blame is the person who put those cops in a position where they're going after law abiding citizens that's the problem

because then even though those people technically aren't committing any crimes other than loitering i mean what are they doing i mean isn't there a right to protest well i mean who knows what the latest statutes are i think it's the property though i don't property it's just you know this they're ruining the launch you don't need to but here's the thing here though. Property, yeah. It's just, you know, they're ruining the launch. You don't need to. But here's the thing. I just want to say, because it could be what I said could be misconstrued. I'm not saying all cops are pigs. I know you're not. Okay, but I want to be very, very clear on that.

You're talking about those guys that are doing that. What I'm saying is cops are wired to deal with criminals. I mean, they try to work with people all day, but you've got to be on edge, man. You've got to be on edge man. You got to be on edge all the time and when some asshole tells these cops now You have to go and you have to push back these crowds of unhappy intelligent people who are non-violent and these people have very valid points about the corruption that is eroded our system to an almost unfixable point and they're fucking upset because they're in college and where the fuck is their future yeah cunts have ruined the whole batch there's nothing left for us we're growing up and we're coming out and there's nothing left for us you fuck

heads you've ruined the whole thing and you're a cop man and you are the enemy you represent the man you treat you hostile II you treat them hostile they don't listen to you you treat them like criminals that's how you're wired you're wired to treat criminals like criminals. Yeah. All of a sudden, these young kids who have very valid points become criminals. But it's also because there's a lot of douchebags in those groups. Those groups are never pure.

Well, no. And also those groups are, by the way, the whole fucking problem with the current formation of this protest movement or this revolution right now is that it's so loosely, it's the problem and it's what's awesome about it is that it's modular and it seems to be, you know, broken up in all these groups that have come together into this one thing. But there is no easier group to infiltrate than a modular group like that. So by now the CIA, they must have infiltrated.'ve got people there they're like they're studying like okay what's the best way to handle this how can we implant this up break

this up or make it start cia guys or fuck guys girlfriends yeah that sucks that would suck that's good that's what they're gonna decide to fuck your girlfriend yeah cia guys are just gonna they're gonna give my ag agra and get these chicks high and just fuck the shit out of them. Yeah. A lot of these girls, they've never been with a real man. They're hanging out

with all these hippies. Oh, wait, so you think CIA fuck agents have infiltrated Occupy Wall Street because I'm making that porn movie. That's the movie, man. That is the movie. CIA porn operatives.

CIA dick-slinging experts. Like like they show up at gang bangs mr johnson come with me your government needs you and he's i'm in the middle of fucking all these bitches and this guy's just banging these bitches left and right and that's what they do they know it's a group of them and one of the guys they got to pull out of retirement they're like we need you i can't fuck again i fucked my soul out in Vietnam. I'm not going. We need you. You've got to come.

These hippie girls have got to be fucked. These hippie girls are not getting good dick ever. These guys are eating nothing but granola and hemp seeds and shit, and they smell. No one's just grabbing these girls and fucking the shit out of them. And that's what the CIA guys do. These porno guys, they send them in. They start fucking all these girls. Creat turmoil it's a special division it's like the a team and they have their own fuckers yeah they call themselves the hippie fuckers yeah they've been doing if there's boot camps where they could you imagine that would work man on a lot of these

un-fucking-balanced people that would work fuck them into submission yeah send send a bunch of guys to just go in there and fuck everyone man we're just gonna hire like brad pitt looking dudes and just have them just run through the ranks get in with them get tight with them and then just start banging dudes wives that's your job and then like be real sloppy about it you know to say that you want to be dangerous but get caught get caught left and right all the time all the time always you leave everybody gets caught everybody gets caught i leave it rolex you always leave loads you leave loads all over the bed you pull out on time purpose and shoot your load on a dark cushion yeah you know the guy sits down and he looks at it he's like this is a fucking load you've been fucked by the cia cia is infiltrated our tent no they have

like they actually can come in a pattern that indicates they were there. Like a wax seal? Like Zorro, yeah. That's what they do. They come on you and then they let it slowly congeal. And then they put a seal on it. They brand you. I gotta use the bathroom.

Go use the bathroom, man. Don't hold it in. Jesus Christ. Do you know where it is? Yeah. In our powerful new Death Squad studios. So, Brian, do you know anything about this football case? Duncan, where are you going, fella?

Over there. You don't even know where you're going. Fucking guy. Gets lost in a room with two doors. I know. And he tried it already. Do you know anything about this football case? No.

We talked about it on one of the podcasts earlier but uh it it seems like one guy was caught up to 40 different people that he's fucked like in showers and stuff and he was a assistant football coach sandusky and he apparently is like a famous guy i don't know anything about the world of football but i've heard the name joe paterno yeah i've heard the name and then i I guess Ashton Kutcher came on Twitter and said something like, I can't believe they fired him or something like that, like he was defending the guy.

And then somebody said that now Ashton gave his Twitter account to somebody else to do from now on because it's just too many feedback from what he said. So someone else is handling his Twitter account because he complained that they fired a guy who covered up a fucking assistant coach who was banging kids. Let me tell you something, man. If a guy's banging kids, you kind of know.

I don't think you don't know. Especially 40 accusations. This guy's taking kids on the road with him, man. He took kids on the road with him, put took kids on the road with him put them up in hotels bought them presents and shit right you know and not only that there was a story that the da who was investigating the case disappeared in 2005 yeah so you know they had to fire him man this could be some crazy cover-up murder shit we don't even know what the fuck happened yet this guy was like a loved guy. I mean, this is a huge, huge scandal.

Apparently, you know, I talked to people that were, what is it, Penn State? Is that what it is? Yeah, Penn State. The Nittany Lions? Is that what they call themselves? I don't even know, man. I'm sorry.

People are like, you don't know shit about football, you fucking pussy. I don't. Yeah, here's the Sandusky. Here's the missing guy, the Sandusky guy. Yeah, he's a missing DA, the district attorney. He went missing in 2005. They fucking probably iced this guy, man.

Yeah. You know, when you're dealing with a case this big, apparently what happened was a grad student went into a shower, went back to retrieve something, and he heard noises in the shower that were like like steady rhythmic slapping noises went in and saw this guy fucking an eight a 10 year old boy in the ass in the shower and they also investigators have him on the phone with one of the boy's mothers and the boy's mother asks him if he touched the boy in an inappropriate place in an inappropriate manner

and he goes uh maybe maybe he said maybe yeah it was like yeah um i don't know uh maybe maybe i did like maybe you did like when you're that crazy you're thato, they were protecting a pedo, man. That's all this is. Yeah, because they don't want to ruin the football. Yeah. That's crazy. They were straight up protecting a pedo. There's no question about it.

There's no question about it, man. There's no way you can hide that darkness, man. That's as dark as it gets. You're fucking little boys and they're little assholes. You're going to hide that? Ten-year-old boys, not even a man, you know? It's not like you're tricking men and you're banging poor straight men. No, no, no, no.

You're banging little boys. You're a piece of shit, man. You're worse than, you're the worst kind of demon. Yeah, how is it possible that that guy can just be interacting with everyone else and they're not going to know? Then no one's going to weird out. You're all going on the road together, and no, there's Mr. Sandusky with his fucking 10-year-old buddy. You'd be like, what are you doing with this 10-year-old boy? Is this your son?

If that was your son, that's one thing. Well, he's close to his kid. He likes to take his kid with him when he goes to football games. Little boy loves football. Yeah, okay, that's great. That's a great dad. But if you're a guy who's just taking some 10 year old around with you and he's always got new presents and shit how does everybody not look at that how

does everybody not go what the fuck is going on with this guy there's something there has to be some weird interaction between them there has to be something that treats you that there has to be when a boy's getting fucked by some old man you don't you don't just sneak that through what's that 10 year old boy i don't know he's through. What's that 10-year-old boy? I don't know. He's always near me. Fucking weird kid. No, but there's a,

like, you know, in families, people have been molested. Yeah. It was like, they would pretend that it wasn't happening. The family would kind of pretend

it wasn't there, but they all know it's kind of there, but nobody wants to deal with it because it's so fucked up. I know a girl who was molested by her uncle, and her family attacked her and her sister

and her cousins who were all molested by the same guy. Her family all attacked them and said that they were all lying. And they're like, whoa. This guy molested them for years. For years. And nobody would believe it. That's it.

It's amazing. What if the rest of the family all molested the uncle and that was like their little gimp and they're just trying to cover their they're just evil 10 year old demons going after the uncles yeah have you read that book lolita no it's really good i used to google search lolita a lot no it's what gave birth to that term you know it's really bizarre man the arbitrary age of 18 when swan when one becomes legal because there was a threat on the message board recently where some attractive young lass has just become 18 and there was a celebration so as all these photos of this well endowed little hooker and I

shouldn't call her hooker she's probably a nice girl well endowed little night when I say hooker I call my friends hook yeah like I'll callcan a hooker i don't mean in a bad way just to clarify but this well-endowed nice young lady and they're all talking about fucking the shit out of her and i'm like man that's dark she was just a little baby like a couple of weeks ago like a couple weeks ago she was 17 now she's 18 and you guys all want to shove your rods inside of her like that's dark man isn't it it's kind of dark there's something but it's fucking totally legal you know this you know one guy was like i'd like to see her dirty cunt or something he's saying some like really ruthless shit cunt yeah i'll fuck the shit out of this

dirty cunt you know something along those lines and it made me laugh because it was ridiculous because it was so over the top but then i thought about i'm like it's kind of creepy that you can say this about an 18-year-old. If you say that about a 16-year-old, you're a piece of shit, man. What about states that are even younger, like 15 and stuff? They're like, oh, they're 14 before. That's crazy. Yeah, well, I don't think it's uniform all across the country.

I think Nevada, where that fucking dude, that 51-year-old dude got- Courtney Stodden? Yeah, married that girl. Sam Tripoli's neighbor, you mean. Sam Tripoli's neighbor. Shut up. We didn't even talk about it on Sam Tripoli's show. We forgot to talk about it. Wait, he's got... Courtney Stodden. Yeah. Married that girl. Sam Tripoli's neighbor, he means. Sam Tripoli's neighbor. Shut up. We didn't even talk about it on Sam Tripoli's show. We forgot to talk about it.

Wait. He's neighbors with Courtney Stodden? Yes, dude. Well, we'll talk about it on tonight's podcast. Wow. Because Sam Tripoli's at the show. Oh, beautiful. Yeah.

We're going to do another podcast tonight, folks. This is how fucking wild we are. We're doing a podcast with Duncan. Where's Duncan? I can't talk. We're doing a podcast with Duncan. And then when we're done with this, we got a show tonight, a sold out show at the Ice House

in Pasadena, stage two, the intimate venue. And so we're going to do that afterwards and we're all going to come back here and do podcasts in between our sets. So it's, this fucking new room is key. This is awesome. It's such a sweet setup. It's at the Ice House.

So we're going to be doing a lot more podcasts from here. But what were we just talking about? We're talking about fucking Courtney Stoddard. Oh, yeah. She's Tripoli's neighbor, man. We'll let Tripoli talk about it again tonight. It's a teaser, ladies and gentlemen. A teaser.

I'm giving you a teaser. But in the meantime, before Tripoli comes on, immediately follow Courtney Stoddard on Twitter. Oh, yeah. And then let Tripoli fill in the rest of the puzzle. Her Twitter's ridiculous. And she's 16 going on 40. She looks like a 38-year-old lady who's taking care of herself.

Did you see her on Dr. Drew? Dr. Drew, I had her on there just to see it because everyone says her boobs are fake. Right. So they had this doctor come in there and they made this whole episode with trying to figure out if boobs are real. And the doctors had a hard time.

Like, I can't see through this muscle. It's ridiculous's i don't know like they really built it up even the whole time they're just feeling her tits it's just an excuse so crazy they're feeling 16 year old seven mexican guys dude it's we're that we're such a repressed culture we're such a sexually repressed culture that this kind of shit is what we fixate on this is what we fixate on this is a real thing like oh yes bring her in bring in the slut so we can test her breast well it's not like they don't like each other they obviously enjoy each other's company they hang around together i mean it's just you're not supposed to be banging a 16 year old dude no and check this out the i guess the photographer of a lot of her photos her sexy sexy photos where she's with her boyfriend or husband or whatever, are actually taken by her

mom. Oh, Jesus! Yeah. What the fuck, man? Give her the Scarlet Letter! Did you ever see, there was like one of those 2020 type shows and it was all on this porn star whose parents support her work.

What was her name? I'm trying to remember. It's the one that uh the bunny ranch guy yes uh hang out it's not it's not sunny is it does she sunny lewine lewine so lewane sunny lewane sunny leon sunny leone sunny leon is that it no i don't think that is isn't it her i think that's a different girl i think that's a different girl but don't you think it's really fucking weird and that's a dark-ha different girl. But don't you think it's really fucking weird? That's a dark-haired girl, I think. Don't you think it's really fucking weird? And I think it's, like, obviously completely fucked up to, like, fuck people under 18.

But in general, don't you think that outside of that, which I think is, like, sociologically super fucked up and it clearly fucks people's lives up and people who do it should be thrown to alligators but in general isn't it strange that for adults sex the terms used to describe sex dirty naughty filthy it's like we attach to the act of bringing life into the universe or simulating bringing life into the universe, we attach to that so many adjectives that are just like, it's disgusting, smut, filth. That's what, when you look at porn,

that's like the words they use to sell porn. The dirtiest, smuttiest, filthiest whores. This side of, it's like, so strange that. Well, it's because of, obviously because in order to have an industrial revolution, in order to have an industrial revolution, in order to have the society that we currently enjoy,

people have to work. And if people were just dirty fucking all day, they would complicate shit. Nothing would ever get done. We have an ethic. And one of the ethics is you keep your fucking sexuality to yourself all day long. It's very weird.

Mr. Herman Cain with your fucking unwanted massages. Yeah, yeah. It's so fucking strange man it's like yeah it's what you're telling me about how you were in what do you say you're in germany and you watch like a gangbang on regular tv yeah it's like they didn't show penetration but this dude was banging this chick from behind her tits were flopping around there was other people behind them they were fucking yeah it's like it was almost like some soft core sort of a thing but what you said about Hartman at the strip club

that's uh to me that's like that how it should be it should be joyful it converts it's like it's the fact that it's not is an indication of how like backwards and repressed we are yeah I mean by the way you know filthy dirty things are awesome I'm not saying that that doesn't add to like the excitement of it but it seems like in in our culture it's so it's so like fucking scarlet letter nathaniel hawthorne style humiliation of people who really aren't doing anything that bad compared to what other people in the world are doing right you know like it, like it's, it's a, it's a lot worse for, you know, we've probably talked about this.

Well, I think it's because we, we have the instinct to fuck more than is necessary. We, we, we have the instinct to fuck like we needed to fuck 10,000 years ago when half the babies were eaten by crocodiles. You know, we have this,

this drive. As long as the man is alive, as long as the man is breathing healthy and feeling robust. They want to fuck. They want to shoot loads into people and create more people. It's just the desire to breathe. That's all it is. The desire to breathe manifests itself in a code

that runs your body. As long as that code runs your body, people are going to want to fuck. If that's going to be the case, there's no way you're going to get anything done because people are just going to be trying to fuck each other all day because that's what they want to fuck. And if that's going to be the case, there's no way you're going to get anything done because people are just going to be trying to fuck each other all day because that's what they want to do. So you have to figure out a way to suppress them and control them

and to calm them down. Pedo bear. Pedo bear. See a little approval. You know, to calm them down to the point where, you know, things get done. So you have to tell them it's naughty, it's dirty. Stop it. Put it away.

Put it away. You've got to shame them. It's it's dirty stop it put it away put it away you gotta shame them it's the only way they feel bad about pulling it out oh i don't want a fucker but i can't oh you go in the bathroom and think about that girl you're working with oh you know it's because you have this massive suppression during the day of your natural instincts and feelings but didn't you can't even express them didn't mckenna talk about some primordial like world where there were mushroom orgies it was like this people like having mushrooms utopian view of the past was that there was uh at one point in time society had engaged in like almost daily mushroom use and that's what had elevated us from the lower hominids and that was the whole stoned ape theory

he believes that psychedelic mushrooms and the eating of them was responsible for the doubling of the human brain size over a period of two million years huge huge mystery in the fossil record so he had a lot of like uh really nutty theories like that but you know they're very interesting to consider but i don't know you ever been in orgy no no never you ever been in orgy brian just two girls i don't want you to bow i've never been in hello columbus ohio i know i know people have been to orgies i was at a party that i know a girl worked at a place where they would have orgies she worked as a cocktail waitress at this place where they would go people would go and then they would just start fucking they would just meet up and go into rooms and fucking everywhere she went she's like people were just fucking everywhere you went you got there and they weren't pretty they weren't good looking people but

they were just all of them like naked half naked some were dressed some some didn't participate they just watched and it was like a club in la and people would go and just fuck yeah it was crazy she was like laughing at it she's like it is the weirdest job she goes after a couple hours i got used to the fact that people were just all around me fucking all the time. Nobody bothered me. She's like, that's the one thing that happens. When everyone else is fucking and someone wants to serve you drinks, you barely even concentrate on that person. You're like, yeah, yeah, here's your money.

Thank you. Bye. I want to go fuck somebody who wants to fuck me. So it was much safer, actually, than working at a bar where you were looked at as like, oh, look at this girl. Coming with my drink. Yeah, baby. What are you going after? What are you doing later?

Won't you live with me? You know, those guys didn't even look at her. Because there's all these people that were fucking in front of them. Everyone was sucking cock. And everyone, you could bang anybody. You know, so there's probably a few contrarians that, like, turn their gaze towards her. Like, fuck all these people that are banging each other. What about this girl?

How does she feel about this? You know, you're always going to have that one. The one girl who doesn't want to fuck at the orgy is who you fall in love with. Well, there's just some dudes that are banging each other. What about this girl? How does she feel about this? You're always going to have that one. The one girl who doesn't want to fuck at the orgy is who you fall in love with. Well, there's just some dudes that are just broken. There's some dudes that are broken. They always go for the girl that's going to just be damaged goods and always going to need to be with the person

who can't be with them. Yeah, it's always the case. We need the grand distraction. The grand distraction of relationships. Imagine when you were young. Remember when you were young, rather. We need the grand distraction. The grand distraction of relationships. You know? Imagine when you were young. Remember? When you were young, rather.

Imagine if you felt like that now. Like when you were young and you'd break up. You really would think like, God, this is the end. I can never be happy in a relationship ever again. You used to believe that. Yeah, sure. You know, when you're like 14. How many songs are about that?

There's countless songs that that's the main message is that then it's over i've met that or the songs like that like begging for one more night yeah yeah one more night give me just one more night it's so gross it's so beta it's so bad don't you got a Rolodex, homie? Don't you got other girls you can call? This is some Planet of the Apes shit, son. Let me just give you a little heads up. You need to go to the gym and do some squats. Eat some bison meat and get your shit together, son.

Bison meat. Get some strong. Stop doing that, Brian. Get some strong game in your system. Something that's been murdered that lived a free life. All right. A wild life. And then you shoot it with a fucking bow and arrow. And then you take that thing and cut it up and eat it.

That's what you need to do. And squats. And carry logs up hills. That's what you need to do. What you don't need to do give me just one more night. Yeah, that's what girls go wet for. Begging. Girls don't go wet for begging. Just gotta keep them around be nice

to them fuck the shit out of them the end if they leave they leave you go hey you know i did my best i was nice to you i fucked the shit out of you obviously you got issues what about this one what about this remember this one met my old lover at the grocery store i don't even know what that is what the hell these songs are burnt into my mind have you ever heard that no but can you imagine if that wasn't even a real song but it was like a song that occurs in his dream world yeah it's dan fogelberg oh god these are divorce oh my these are divorce songs these are fogel there wasn't there was a there was a divorce boom and during this divorce boom this specific genre of music came out and i know it very well because that's what my mom would listen to. She'd come and pick me up at the Y, and I would sit in the backseat of her car as she listened to like,

Turn around, bright eyes. Every now and then I fall apart. That's a divorce song. And she would get, you know, it was very like dramatic. And those songs are burnt into my mind. And one of them was that dan fogelberg song oh my god here's my experience with dan fogelberg when i was growing up i lived in san francisco when i was about from 7 to 11 and we had a next door neighbor he was a cool guy named barry and uh he was uh my stepdad's uh buddy and And we would go over his place and listen to his records.

And he had some badass records. This was San Francisco in the 70s, man. He had the Monkees and all this shit. And I just loved the fact that you could put a headphone on and it pushed into the jack and you'd play a record. And it was like, you know, it was in your head and I'd be singing along. They'd have to tell me to shut up, stop singing.

You sing terrible. But I remember thinking like wow you know my parents listen to some cool ass fucking music you know there's some cool music like i listened to some billy joel you know i remember listening to captain jack when i was like seven years old what a great fucking song this is god damn and then uh we had a friend and i was over his house and i asked him if i could listen to his music and he said yeah and he had a dan fogel I was over at his house, and I asked him if I could listen to his music. And he said, yeah. And he had a Dan Fogelberg record. And I put that shit on, and I was like,

why does this guy want to depress me like this? Why is this guy singing this? What is he saying? You're making me cry, man. I'm fucking seven years old. You're bumming me out. Or whoever I was when I listened to that. But I was like, this is just nonsense music. This poor guy. Somebody needs to tell him. years old you're bumming me out yeah you know or whoever i was when i read listen to that but i was like this is just nonsense music oh this poor guy somebody needs to tell him but then you know

the thing is this is where people get confused that one guy james taylor did it right yeah and that's why everybody gets fucked up because he had songs that were like super emotional and everything but they they had such a point of view that they were special there was something to the shit that he was singing so even though it was it was it seemed like it was kind of mushy but in fact it wasn't what it was was just vulnerable and honest and there's like a strength in that yeah totally you know and so these these other with their well whenever you hate music whenever you hear in a song make it through the night that was something that can still confuses me what does that mean we can

make it through the night like how do you not make it through the night from you're not gonna die what's the what's the worry when people sing Making It Through the Night? What is it? Making Out Through the Night. No, no. It's like there's a – It's a – No, it's always sad when they're singing it.

Like they're going to war or something. Yeah, there was something. They don't mean make it – They mean like going through trenches or like not having a nervous breakdown that night or something. You know, it's like – Or if they're fighting. What it is is when you listen to certain songs and you hear people getting all emotional

and you don't feel like it's valid. It's like you're being too much of a pussy in this song. Like you're being too much of a pussy with your expression. I could go along with you here. I could get caught up in the wave and go with you. Sure. But I don't feel like it's necessary. I don't feel like it warrants it.

But then you listen to like James Taylor and you hear like, just yesterday morning they let me know you were gone. You know that song? Yeah, of course. That's a depressing fucking song. Depressing song.

I seen fire and I seen rain. I seen sunny days that I thought would never end. Or Elliot Smith. You listen to Elliot Smith, same thing. I did not find a friend. He would not like Elliot Smith. Rogan to Elliot Smith, same thing. He would not like Elliot Smith.

Rogan? Rogan wouldn't. I don't think he would like Elliot Smith at all. Yeah, I listened to some of his stuff. I wanted to kick him in the balls. I fucking love him. I was like, kid, you need to get out of the house. Stop playing video games.

I don't know. I only listened to one song because Duncan told me how great the guy was. I love him. Duncan's like, you know. He's one of my favorite singers. There's a lot of shit that I love that I'm sure you don't love. Elliot Smith. Do you ever listen to Kiss alone in your car and sing along? Nope.

Black Keys all the way. I've been listening to a lot of Black Keys. That's awesome. They're great. I went on a period for like four months where that's all I listened to. I would go in my car and I got the iPod thing in the car and I would just go right to Black Keys. You know what I've been listening to lately? you'll make fun of me spongle you ever listen to spongle somebody did a spongle uh thing where they took uh their music and they

combined it with me talking about dmt that's cool yeah it's pretty dope his songs are trippy man one of the songs i was just listening to today he he's good to listen to and write. I like writing and listening to him. One of the songs I was hearing today, the lyrics are like LSD, DMT. It's like, have you heard that song? It's really weird. I mean, I can't even sing it because you have to have like seven synthesizers and a UFO just to make whatever fucking noises are coming out of Spongle. You have to have a UFO. That's like rave music, right?

Is that what you would consider rave music? It's kind of like ambient rave music or something it's but yeah some of it's yeah it's not it doesn't have like as much of a driving beat it's just more like super trippy psych the guy really did capture something and like brought it back through music uh he's it's he's yeah it's really good it's not like i've listened to some of that stuff that's not so focused not so tuned in it's really kind of gross yeah Yeah, it's really good. It's not like, I've listened to some of that stuff that's not so focused, not so tuned in. It's really kind of gross. Yeah. You know?

It can get gross. It's like everything else, man. It's like mushy songs. Like what we just talked about with James Taylor. He's not mushy. Right. You know, but like there's certain, not that he's not mushy, he's genuine. There's certain people like they get really offended by non-genuine behavior.

Yeah. Like there's some huge push to get Nickelback removed from, what is it, a hockey game? Is it hockey, the Nickelback thing? I can't remember. I think so. It might be football. I saw this thing on Reddit,

and maybe I'm not remembering it right, but it said if you ever want to hide files on your computer, create a folder that says oh my god that's hilarious i met that dude very briefly the lead singer guy in a um a venue once where ufc was going to be there on saturday and he was there on friday he's a very nice guy as lions thanksgiving game protest for nickelback he's got they got some good songs man i'm sorry they're they're slick. They're overproduced, it seems like.

You know, almost people like them because they're too good a pop song. You know, and sometimes they're like the, you know, it's almost too cliche. But they're good. I Want to Be a Rockstar song. There's been a million of those. The Cypress Hill version. So you want to be a rock star. That's the best one.

I don't even know that song. I got to admit, man, I've got very, very limited. Yeah, I can't. The Cypress Hill version is badass. I like Cypress Hill. That's a badass rock star song. But the Nickelback one is not bad, man. It's not a bad song.

You ever heard that song, I Want to Be a Rock Star? I hate Nickelback. I'm sorry. Really? Well, I? I hate Nickelback. I'm sorry. Really? Well, I don't hate Nickelback, okay? I don't particularly look forward to listening to them, but they got some good songs. They're not that offensive. It's like his voice or the style of their music just like chalk.

You can't say. It seems almost, it seems like people feel like it's not honest or something. You know? What is it? I mean, is it I mean is it well they're affected what is affected their videos I think I've seen a Nickelback video and it was very effective affected and it was very hard to watch because it was sappy and like cheese super cheesy but I like I I don't

have a strong opinion about them they also seem like you know there's certain bands like remember when new kids on the Block came out? And it was, like, kind of hip to not like New Kids on the Block? Right, yes. It's like they're kind of like that. Where it's a mark of, it's like a fashion to not like them or something. Yeah. Yeah.

They've got some good stripper songs. I've never listened to that. I don't know. I've only listened to that one video. How could it be worse than some of Foreigner's songs? What's a Foreigner's? You know, I've Been Waiting for a Girl Like You. I've been waiting for a girl like you i've been waiting for i like that song it's a good song but come on man how is how are any nickelback songs any less happy than that i believe that first i believe that guy

i don't believe this nickelback guy i think this guy is just like it's insincere so you think it's just packaged pre-produced let's go get pre-produced, thought out, too calculated? Is that what it is? What do you think that got? I think radio killed Nickelback for me. I blame radio for that. It's interesting with this subject because we talked about a real band.

I mean, as real and scratchy as you can get, the Black Keys. They're like scratchy. They're like almost like, even though it's an MP3, like you could hear the record you know i mean those guys are like that that's a band man there's a band playing instruments and singing and these are some songs they wrote and this is the sounds they like and if you're drinking whiskey and playing pool that's the fucking song you want to hear you want to hear

that shit in the background you know they got that's real music man and then you got you know other stuff like nickelback that's like this is a sort of a different thing it's like they just got it honed down to like the slickly packaged sort of kind of cliche in its intent but very well done like you can't criticize any aspects of it. It's very well done. The voice is strong and the singing, the guitar is good. But somehow or another, for some people, they get upset by it. Well, some people, it's really weird, man. Some people just, the rubber ain't touching the road when it comes to what they're making.

They're just, they're purely imitative. Right. And some people have, like, plugged into the fucking magma and they're vomiting out this thing. They're like, they've become a channel to something and it's undeniable when you hear it. Even if you don't like it, you can still tell this is definitely real. Most of the time you can still tell this is something super unique and special. And it's very, to me, it's funny when you see imitators. It's funny when you, because you can't fake it. It's one thing you can't fucking fake it's like what joey diaz says i don't know

if he still says it or says it all the time holograms you've heard him say that hologram yeah he says that about people that are fake yeah he's a fucking hologram yeah it's it's interesting yeah yes you can't really fake it and when you see like like, but with some artists, they really plug into it. Like that fucking kid I was telling you about. Yes, the 12-year-old kid. Yeah, nine or 12. I think he's not. Well, I think he's 12 now.

Yeah, well, I think it's all going through the internet. Apparently, there was like a big piece on him from like 2006. And now he's been like studying in Europe this whole time. But yeah, you told me about him. And then after you told me about him, it was all over Twitter, all over my message board. There was like a couple different threads about it. You know, it's just, it's a meme. You know about this kid?

You saw this thing with this kid? No. He's like, they say. Super genius kid. They say he's like a super genius musician. He's like the greatest musician to come along. Oh, is that movie based off of him? No, no, no.

This is a new kid. A new kid. new kid tell him what he does this is crazy he he one of this segment i saw it's i'm sure if you youtube this kid you can find it right away but he there's a he he's with his piano teacher and he takes the music and he flips it backwards and upside down and he can play it backwards he can play music backwards and upside down that's what she and she was like like, I don't see how anyone can do this. He's composed like five symphonies, and they say that most people don't do that

or do that in their lifetime. Wrap your head around that. Wrap your head around that kid. What is that? What is that? Is it a mild form of autism? He's from the Matrix. That's not him, Brian.

That's hilarious. How does he do that? Look at the skill involved. I don't understand. We're looking at a little boy who is literally not looking at the keyboard. It's amazing. He has his back to the piano. Listen to the music.

He's a prodigy. What if we get so dumb that this is what is considered it's a super chimp imagine if you had a chimp that could do that not only can my chimp do this joe did you hear a kid why don't you uh find that video as i'm trying to do what is uh what would you think the problem is i can't remember his name so you'd have to look up like um 12 year old genius musician yeah and he pretty much says what all super genius guys say is that it just comes to them he says he hears it yeah he just hears it and he writes down what he hears that's what it is wow how the fuck can you do it backwards that's amazing that's just showing off the little fuck yeah you. You know the problem?

I don't think this is him. What is it? That's not him. That's actually... No, that's not him, Brian. Did you put butthole in the search? Yeah. Hey.

It's butthole in his searches. Really? I don't understand. It seems like that wastes time. Yeah. That's Brian. All his Google searches, he adds butthole to it. That's definitely not him, Brian.

Come on, man. Find it. Find it, Brian. That was listed under an amazing 10-year-old piano prodigy. 12-year-old. I know, that's what happened. Super genius musician.

It's not coming down. Just composed. How many? What did he do? Five what? Five symphonies? Right. 12-year-old composed five symphonies. Put that in Google and you'll find it. Someone will tweet to us. Yeah, they probably already have.

But if you just Google 12-year-old composed five symphonies, for sure you'll find that guy. You got it? Yeah. See? There he is. That's him. Blue Jay. Renowned Juilliard school who some say is the greatest talent to come along in 200 years whoa he's written 500 years imagine i'm saying that about you listen to this no i can't

12 oh shit what happened Was it just a commercial? There's a composer studying at New York's renowned Juilliard School who some say is the greatest talent to come along in two years. Sam Zeman is a composer. He teaches music theory to Jay at Juilliard in New York City where he's been teaching for 17 years. This is an absolute fact. This is objective. This is not a subjective opinion. Jay could be sitting right here, and he could be composing right now. He could finish a piano sonata before our very eyes in probably 25 minutes, and it would be a great piece.

How's that possible well Jay told us he doesn't know where the music comes from but it comes fully written playing like an orchestra in his head as you hear it playing can you change it as it goes along can you say to yourself oh let's bring the oboes in here or let's bring the string section here they seem to come in by themselves if they need to it's not something you're trying to do it's like my the unconscious mind is giving orders at the speed of light you know i mean so i just hear it as if it were a smooth performance of a work already written

when it isn't it's involuntary i suppose so yeah, yeah. Like the beating of the heart. You don't have to think about it. Mm-mm. It seems all the kids are downloading music these days. It's just that Jay, with his composing program, is downloading it from his mind. The program records his notes and plays them back. Whoa. That is, when the computer's up and running.

Jay composes so rapidly that he often crashes the computer. It is as if he's looking at a picture of the score. Get him a better computer. He's a prodigy. Get him a MacBook. Jay's parents are as surprised as anyone. Neither is a better computer. He's a prodigy. Get him a MacBook Pro. Jay's parents are as surprised as anyone. Neither is a professional musician. His father, Robert, is a linguist, a scholar in Slavic language, who lost his sight at the age of 36 to retinitis pigmentosa.

His mother, Orna, is an Israeli-born painter. That's Michael, Jay's 8-year-old brother. He's not a musical prodigy. But Robert and Orna remember when they figured out that Jay was. I think around two when he started writing. Whoa, look at that! And actually drawing instruments. We knew that he was fascinated with it. Started writing?

Yeah. At the age of two? Yes, I'm afraid so. Look at that, you see what he wrote at two? He managed to draw a that he wrote it to a cello and wrote the word cello and I was surprised because neither of us have anything to do with string instruments and I didn't expect him to know what it was what a cello was right you didn't have a cello no we had no cello in the house have you seen a cello nope but he knew he, we had no cello in the house. Had he seen a cello? Nope.

But he knew he wanted one. So his mother brought him to a music store where he was shown a miniature cello. And he just sat there, he put the cello, and he started playing on it. And I was like, how do you know how to do this? By age three, Jay was still drawing cellos, but he had turned them into notes on a scale reincarnation beginning to compose Jay's parents watched the notes come faster and faster. He was writing anytime anywhere By elementary school his teachers had no idea how to handle a boy whose hero wasn't Batman but Beethoven Jay has been told his hearing is many times more sensitive than an average person's.

The sound of the city has to be shut out manually, but Jay can't turn off the music in his head. In fact, he told us he often hears more than one new composition at a time. Multiple channels is what it's been termed. Multiple channels. That my brain is able to control two or three different musics at the same time. Whoa! Along with the channel of everyday life and everything else. Jay channeled this piece when he was eight. By the age of 10, Jay was going to Juilliard, among the world's top conservatories of music,

on a full scholarship. If you consider imitation an actual concrete object. At age 11, he was studying music theory at third year college. Imagine if that was your kid, and you're like, I'm a actual concrete object at age 11. He was studying music magic That was your career college. You're like I'm a fucking idiot Yeah, genius for a kid horses at another school which his parents say he'll complete when he's 14 completely Elizabeth Wolfe is a well-known concert pianist who works with Jay on his piano technique Today Jay brought one of his own works to practice. Jay, you need this.

No choice, right? Jay writes things that he can't even play. Jesus fucking Christ. It's the extreme speed. His hands can't keep up. Is it a cannon? It's a fugue. Jay wants to perfect his piano playing, although he says he doesn't need the piano or any instrument to compose.

When you first hear this tune start to rise in your head, what happens? Well, at first I just listen to it, and then I start humming it. And then when walking, I like walking a lot when I'm inspired. Because then I walk to the beat of the music. This is so bizarre. For example, if the beat is. And I start walking. And often I start conducting as well. Imagine seeing that walking down the street.

Wow, I'd be like, that poor Tim. Jay's not an unusual 12-year-old. Whoops. And he knows it. Oh, he skips. What happens when Jay gets bored? When he gets bored, he gets restless, and then he starts improvising. Last week, he took the Beethoven Sonata, The Working Right, and now

and decided that everything would be kind of interesting upside down and backwards. So he took the volume and literally did just that. He can do it for you right now. And I couldn't even follow, but he actually took the clefs and inverted them. The treble became bass, bass became treble, and did it backwards. She goes, it's impossible, but he's doing it. She goes, it's impossible, but he's doing it. Talented composers might write five or six symphonies in a lifetime.

Jay's written five at the age of 12. Hi, Jay. Hello. Nice to meet you. You too. Welcome. Here, Jay's explaining the storm to conductor Young Ho Pak at the rehearsal. That's cool, man.

What a strange thing to be fucking awesome at. Music that's kind of like outdated. But he got lucky, man. He got born into a great family. What if you get that dude, they should co-opt him and get that dude to make some jamming pop tunes.

I was thinking. Yeah. The Listen Dude is a dead fucking song. Yeah. Nobody listens to the cello anymore, bro. I don't want to hear the cello. Come on, man.

You want to make some money? You want to be a rock star? You want to live like Nickelback? Yeah. At least get him a MacBook Pro. That's what I'd do. Yeah. The shit is crashing, man.

He's got that whack-ass old laptop. He's still running on Mac OS 9. Yeah, that's a shit computer if it can't even run a composing program. Yeah, what was that? It's like pushing a button on the keyboard. It's a goddamn genius. Fess up. Come up with the shekels.

But if that kid had been born in the wrong family, you know where he's drawing notes? Quit drawing that shit. What is that gay like gay language get this fucking kid out of here what do you think is going on with that kid do you think that's like a asperger's and autism thing is that seems like it a little bit reincarnation i think especially those weird markings on his head he looks like he was shot right in above the uh eyebrow really yeah do you think that that happens when a baby's born it's

been reincarnated you see like the wounds that killed it? People think that. Do they really? Yeah. I have a mark right on the back of my neck like I was executed. Whoa. By those damn Germans. Do you have any marks, Joe? Mark of the beast. Oh, I know that. But do you have any reincarnation marks?

No. It's up my asshole. I think we gotta end this because you gotta get out of here. Fucking sucks. I don't wanna leave. I gotta go though. Well, where you we got to end this because you got to get out of here. It fucking sucks. I don't want to leave. I got to go, though. Well, where you got to go? What are you doing that's more important than us? I'm going to dinner with my girlfriend.

Oh, snap, son. Olive Garden? Yeah. How dare you? The one fucking day there was no Olive Garden reference, this cunt. No, it's cheap. I'm not kidding. Seriously, how many podcasts do you think you've said Olive Garden in?

Now I just do it for fun because people get so mad. I know they do. But when you think about it, like over the year, two years, almost two years we've been doing this podcast, when did you start doing it? I've always said Olive Garden in normal conversation for some reason. Yeah, I know you have. But in the podcast, somewhere along the line,

you made a point of saying it all the time. I think it was just recent, and I actually made it a point. Before, it was just like, anytime I wanted to use a generic restaurant name, I would say Olive Garden. No one I know

will keep a joke going longer than this fuck. Great. The Ba Face? The Ba Face. Brian and I went on the road for fucking years doing clubs, okay?

And Brian would make these cool videos of the clubs and everything. And one of the things he would do is every time I took a picture with fans, every time Brian would get in the background and go, yeah, I know. I mean, do it.

There's thousands of those pictures. And my favorite is when I find it on like a website, there's girls with corpses. I've never seen that website, but then you're just looking through it and it's like, Oh look, Joe Rogan. And he seen me in the background making a face or yeah dude i i boffaced a picture of uh

eddie bravo and david lee roth he's taking a picture of david lee roth and i'm in the background that's the boff face you you it easily did that 10 000 times yeah yeah that's not an exaggeration yeah it sounds ridiculous i see new ones all the time. Yeah, they're out there. The days of MySpace, they were easy to find. Sometimes I saw them in people's avatars. Yeah. You know? Brian Boffice.

The guy that's making those cases, those hemp bags, on his website, he has a menu. That's Zura? Yeah. He has you on your website. And you're the Boffice. Nice. Those bags are cool. Like in his company mission. Yeah, those hemp bags are great. That And you have the Bob face. Nice. Those bags are cool. Again, it's company mission.

Yeah, those hemp bags are great. What is the website? I don't know the website. DSgear.com, I think, something like that. Yeah, I think that's it. That is them on Twitter, right? Twitter or DSgear. It's all hemp bags, and he's a jiu-jitsu student.

Yeah, it's really cool. Anyway, tonight is sold out. Sorry. Tomorrow night is sold out, too. The um tonight is sold out sorry um tomorrow night sold out too the ice house is sold out and next week san jose that's sold out too sorry bitches but i'm gonna be can i can i say a club i'm doing up there november 18th i'm going to be at club verdi with neil hamburger tim heidecker um Mark Proach, and Natasha Leggero. And that's in San Francisco. That's in San Francisco.

What's it called again? It's Club Verde. You can go to verdeclub.net and get all the info. It's going to be a good show. Dude, that's a great show. San Francisco is awesome. One of the fucking best places. Even though I'm going to be in San Jose next week, you know, not San Francisco.

Still, I'm psyched. Northern California is awesome. There's still more Asians there than any place else. There is. It's real weird. San Francisco. Still, I'm psyched. Northern California is awesome. There's still more Asians there than any place else. There is. It's real weird. San Francisco is real strange. It's weird how many Asians there are. We went to the San Francisco Museum once, and they kind of explained it all.

Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. It's like that's where Hello Kitty is bred. No. No, that's not where Hello Kitty is bred. Jesus Christ. He can't help it.

He can't help it. He can't help it. Look at him. How can you be mad at him and you're not mad at a dog? So we will see you guys tonight at the Ice House. We're going to come back. We're going to do another podcast with everybody that's here tonight, including Joey Diaz. Is Al coming on?

Al Magical? Al might stop by, but Felicia Michaels, Joey Diaz, Christina Pazinski. Yeah, yeah. So it should be a lot of fun. And we're set up for five microphones here? Four, five? Four.

And there's the Joey Diaz couch over there. This place is set up. This new studio is the fucking bomb diggity. So we're going to do a lot of these here. And that's it, my friends. Thank you very much to The Fleshlight. And if you go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link, enter in the code name Rogan,

you will get 15% off. Number one sex toy for man. Thank you to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, makers of Alpha Brain, New Mood. New Mood is a 5-HTP supplement. It's 5-HTP and a bunch of other stuff including l-tryptophan which uh believe converts to 5htp which eventually converts to serotonin and the idea is that it's uh like a time release sort of effect uh i've been uh digging that too i've been

trying that i like 5htp something uh neil brennan told me about you ever try it um yeah i did i took it once i can't feel good yeah it once. It makes you feel good. Yeah, it's nice. It makes you feel good. I feel kind of nice. It makes you feel like, you know, like he said it actually makes him more creative. Sam E.

It's in the stuff called Sam E, right? I think that's where I took it. Anyway, whatever. Anyway, Alpha Brain, if you go to joerogan.net, click on the link for Alpha Brain, enter in the code name Rogan, and you will get 10% off that.

And try that new mood shit as well. And that is it, ladies and gentlemen. We will be back next week. We got a bunch of different crazy motherfuckers coming in next week. No one's tied down yet, but there's some interesting ones, really interesting ones. So that's it. And Joey Diaz and Eddie Bravo and I are talking about doing regular MMA podcasts.

And we might as well do them here because there's more room and Joey can scream and shout. But the idea is people keep saying, like, wow, you guys talk about MMA. Why don't you talk about MMA? Because a lot of times it's just me talking. You know, it's like, you know, if it's with you guys, I'm talking MMA with you guys. I mean, Duncan, you saw the fights in England. But, you but you know i mean how much do you want to talk about it oh that one guy kicked that one guy that was awesome i wouldn't mind talking about some of the musical choices people come in on well that's another podcast yeah there's a cool video of chris lieben coming

out to that mad bad world song and the audience is singing along to it it's really cool man and i didn't realize it was happening while I was doing the commentary because we're talking and the music's playing really loud. We can't see it. But this video is pretty dope. It's like Chris Lieben's coming out. You know. And everyone's singing along to it.

And it's really kind of chilling. It's really kind of chilling. It's really kind of catchy. Anyway, thank you, everybody, for everything you do. Thanks for being a part of this. Without you guys, we wouldn't be doing this. Thank you for all the cool Twitter messages, all the cool message board posts, everything. As much as this serves you guys, it serves us as well. This is the most fun shit we get to do.

And the fact that you guys all dig it makes it much, much better. We appreciate the fuck out of it, and we're committed to keeping this podcast free. So free to you always. Thank you very much for everybody, and we'll see you bitches soon. Bye. And we know you love me. We love you. We know we love you.

We love you.