The Joe Rogan Experience - #1604 - Jamar Neighbors

Episode Date: January 30, 2021

Jamar Neighbors is an actor and stand-up comedian.

the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day yes sir so good to see you man you too bro brings me back to the comedy store oh uh the days i going to be looking back on those days and just going, what a lucky time we had there. Yeah. We were so lucky. So lucky to be in that spot at that time and that moment in history. Yeah. Dude, some guy wanted me to write something about a haunted comedy club.

So one of the last days that I was out there before I came out here. So I walked all the way down the street, and then I walked all the way to the comedy store. This closed. It's shut down, and it's abandoned. That's weird. It is. And I was just looking at the whole place, taking it in. And I was just like, damn.

was just looking at the whole place taking it in and i was just like damn i was like i just walked off god i looked at my name and i was up there like damn man i worked so hard to get that shit on there and i just walked off i took nothing like like nothing like back to go right about and i was just like damn i worked so hard to get that all right yeah getting your name up on the wall that place it's like i mean for a comedian it's like that's the stamp hell yeah you got the stamp hell yeah and and they wouldn't and they wouldn't they wouldn't pass me for the longest how long like oh man so i started going there at 19. When you were 19 years old? Yeah. I've been doing comedy for like 17 years.

What year was it when you got passed? Probably like 2014, maybe. Yeah. So that was like right when I was coming back. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah and they would they they would never pass i remember i remember doing a showcase in front of mitzi i did a showcase when a mitzi this is when mitzi came in she was all like you know much respect like the crap it

really like yeah and they sat her in the back and everybody was like oh my god it's me oh my god it's me oh my god it's mitzi we all went up and we all did our sets like it was me it was it was it was gerard it was angelo bowers it was josh adam it was like all of us and then so we all go up and do our sets and shit and mind you like this is an open mic so um i go up and um the first joke i said i was up to like i was like yeah man i was like i was like i was like michael jackson could fuck anybody he want to you know what i'm saying i was like i was like you know before before before everybody was doing that type of joke i was really like i was really like michael jackson do whatever the fuck you want to do and then um and then uh mitzi gets up and walks out right she walks out and then

um i thought that my friend in back, I mean, my friend Angelo walked her because he went up after me. And then the next day, remember Tommy? Yeah. The next day, Tommy was up there like, what in the fuck did you think you were doing? And I was like, me?

He was, I was like, I was like, I was doing my standup. I was like, I'll rock that shit. And I was like, it was only four people in. He was like, you went dirty, dirty bro it was only six o'clock Mitzi called you a pig You went dirty It was only six o'clock

That's an hour Where you can tell non-dirty jokes It's fucked up because I was like I talk like this all the time I was like three o'clock in the morning Nine o'clock That's hilarious So I'clock no matter that's hilarious so i walked mitzi and that's why that's one of the reasons it took me forever to get past because they didn't trust my ass if she didn't like you she got mad for a long time she held a

grudge you had to like earn your spot back you had to hang out there forever so yeah so uh then then then my friends started getting past uh willie hunter and uh and gerard got passed and i was still i was still in development like in the belly room they still passed me to the belly room and then so i would work in there and stuff like that and then um and then uh i would go up like like i would start coming back and i went up and everything like that and i would kill every fucking time like during, during the open mic and during, like, the friends and family part. And I got frustrated because all my friends, I ain't gonna lie, I got frustrated because

all my friends were getting passed, and I was up there like, man, I'm funny as fuck too. You know, like, what the fuck? So every time after I would kill at the store, I would reach out, I would look at Tommy in the booth, and I'd be like, yo, Tommy. I'm like, you see. I would reach out. I would look at Tommy in the booth. And I'd be like, yo, Tommy. I'm like, you see what I just did in here? I was like, you passing me this week?

And then he'd be like, he'd be like, he was just laughing in the back. And I'd be like, okay. And I was like, I'll be back next week and we'll do it again. When he had power over the store, that was a terrible position. Terrible to have an insane person in charge of running the greatest comedy club the world's ever known. Yeah, man. But I appreciate, I actually appreciate how hard he made it for me, though. You know what I'm saying?

Adversity makes you stronger if you do stick it out. But when you're a young comic and your friends are doing well and you're not. Yeah. I remember when I was an open mic-er, I was dirty. And the other guys that were clean started to get work as hosts in town. And I could only get, like, road gigs. I remember feeling so jealous. Like, God, why can't I get in there?

I'd go to see them. I'd be hanging out with them. I'd go to see them at a club. And they would host in front of, like, 300 super polite people at a really nice club. Everyone was seated and laughing at everything. And I would go to these dirty bars in New Hampshire. Yeah. And I was like, oh, my God. I'm taking a bad path.

Like, my friends would get, like, shows and stuff. And, like, it was, like, Gerard. It was, like, Angelo Bow like and like um he was like um he was like Gerard it was like uh Angelo Bowers and like all these guys because they they like they came like they came on the scene those guys came on the scene already knowing who they were like I I was I was more of like uh I was still figuring it out kind of sort of and all this stuff I like I I'm a lot to figure out for myself too you know what I'm saying so I was like damn man nobody would book me I'm like man fuck so what I would do is I would go on Craigslist

and I would book bringer shows but I would never bring anybody and that's how I would get my shows are you going to bring 15 people I'm like yeah I'm going to bring 15 people and I show up and I bring nobody but they would still let me go up and I was like alright well this is what's going to happen you I'm going to bring 15 people. And I show up and I bring nobody. But they would still let me go up.

And I was like, all right, well, this is what's going to happen. You're not going to bring anybody. But what you're going to do is you're going to go up there. Explain a bringer show to people. Because a lot of people don't know what a bringer show is. So a bringer show is like when you're like a younger comic and you want to do shows and stuff. There are promoters who are like, hey, you can do a show here in the belly room. But you have to bring 20 people.

Was it that many? Is it 20? Sometimes it'd be 20. Sometimes it'd be 15. But the Belly Room only seats like 80. Yeah. What's up, Jamie? When I was doing music coming up just like this, the place we used to play would make us sell 100 tickets to play.

What? Yeah. And here's what they used to do they used to say shit like uh they used to say shit like listen it was like this is comedy every show's a bringer show you know what i'm saying he's like you're gonna have to bring people for the rest of your life you know what i'm saying so and i was up there like nigga my grandma is not gonna come out to every single fucking show. Like, I don't know 20 people. That's a crazy number. That's a crazy number.

They didn't have that in Boston when I started out. They just had open mic nights, and people either came or they can't. Yeah. See, over there, I haven't done Boston like one time, but I haven't done like their scene. What did you do out there? I did a show. Did you do Laugh uh i did i did a show did you laugh boston that club i think it was a independent show that like black thought was running or no no no no that's philly no no okay i've never done boston oh i was feeling boss all right yeah but i um but i'll

fuck i forgot what the fuck i was gonna say bring. Bring your shows, 20 people. Oh, yeah, yeah. But out here, our mics are just a gang of comics and shit like that. But out there, it's like real people would go to you guys as open mics and shit like that. We would rarely get real people in our little open mics and shit. So you're basically practicing for the friends of other comedians. Yeah. Yeah, that comedians. Yeah. Yeah, that's weird. Yeah, and so that was our come up.

It stifles growth, I think, a little bit, those bringer shows, because you don't get a real audience. Yeah, you get your grandma, and you bring friends who think that you're funny on the street, but they want to see you on the stage, and they'll be like, yo, be funny now. You know what I'm saying? Now it's a different, you know, then you can't keep bringing them right and also you know you're doing stand-up for your friends so like they're right there i'm seeing my friends this is weird yeah it's like i could do this shit in the fucking living room like like we always do

but it's so fucked up what are you doing out out here? So I'm doing shows all week. I've been doing shows all week. I told myself earlier, I was here from the 28th through the 1st in December. And from the 28th, December 21st to the 1st. And just to get a little taste of Austin. What, you thinking about coming out here? Wink, wink. Wink, wink.

Wink, wink. Jamar. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on. I'm bringing everybody out here? Wink, wink. Wink, wink. Wink, wink. Jamar. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on. I'm bringing everybody out here. Let's do it. Joe, you know good and hell well we all following you. You know it.

Listen, once I open the club, I'm going to put the bat signal up. Yo, yo. And then so I said, all right. My birthday was January 25th. And then so I said, well, you know, I always think at the beginning of the year, what are you going to do for your birthday? And I'm like, all right, you can either go hang out with your family, you can go fuck some hoes at Jeff Ross' house,

or you could take care of your little career and go to Austin and do shows for a week. And I was like, all right, well, I've done all except for one. So I'm going to go to Austin and do shows for a week. And I was like, alright, well I've done all except for one, so I'm going to go to Austin and do shows for a week. And I just booked it and I came out here. Yeah, man. We've been doing shows at a place in town called Vulcan Gas Company. That's a great little spot. I did that yesterday. Oh, it's nice, right? Yeah.

It's a great spot. A little weird, people above you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little weird. The stage is kind of skinny, too. Yeah, but at least it's stand-up in a club. Yeah. Yeah. And then we, on Mondays, killed Tony at Anton's. I did it just this past Monday.

It was amazing. Yeah. There's some funny fucking people in this town, man. Hell yeah. Really good local comics. Really good. We laughed hard, and Tony was on fire. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Tony was killing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was good. I love Tony. I think he's such a funny person, but I like his confidence. Oh yeah. Ridiculous.

It's ridiculous. Doesn't even make any sense. So he had that confidence when we do the open mic at the improv. When we were little dudes. That's the Undertaker's championship belt that he gave me and of course i have to i had to give it to tony like there's no way i couldn't like tony needed that yeah and him with the

undertaker's belt on i said you got to take a shirt off photo with the undertaker's belt on yo yeah fucking tony henscliff and like best roaster in the fucking game yeah dude yeah yeah he's so quick yeah yeah it's fucking it's fucking the truth dude he um but yeah he had that confidence in the open mic and then so people like when we were coming up people would be like people like damn like how why damn, how is he even feeling like that? How does he even feel like that? We don't even know our next joke, and he's just up there like. Super confident. Well, you know he bought that Corvette.

He started calling it Corvette confidence. I've got Corvette confidence. Hey, I'm here for it all, man. There's like an undercurrent of this hardcore savagery about him that I'm just like, I'm here for. That I'm here for. Like, okay, I see you, Tony. A lot of people underestimate him because of his voice and his demeanor. Don't be doing that.

He's a bad motherfucker, Tony Hinchcliffe. He he is a bad motherfucker and he's savage with the jokes yeah i respect the shit out he'll say shit on and he writes all the time too and he'll say shit on stage where i'm just like oh no he didn't just say that yeah yeah yeah yeah and he knows he can get away with it because it's part of it's the way he looks it's part of it i mean he's just he's a funny fucker and he was one of the first to jump in i told him i'm here i'm like we got plans he's like i'm in yeah he came out here before there was anything open after cap city had closed he was out here yeah yeah yeah oh man i fucking yeah so thinking about moving out here but uh i was telling him outside somebody got shot outside

of my airbnb a day ago out here yeah in front of my airbnb in the middle of me about to call uber i wonder what like the numbers are in the country in terms of like when the pandemic started to now like how much violence has gone up it's probably going up a lot a lot do you think it's because uh do you think it's because you can get away with it more because everybody wearing masks i think there's that i think there's also when you have economic instability when so many people lost their jobs so many people they don't know where they're going to make money people get desperate and then people get angry they get evicted they get forced out of of their homes. They lose their jobs. They lose their car.

Their car gets repossessed, and they don't – there's people that are being almost forced into crime in this time that haven't been in their whole life. There's people that maybe would be slightly inclined to do something shady, but they got a good job, and they're to like, keep, keep on keeping on. But then when that job's gone and then, and then there's no money coming in, people start plotting and scheming and it's just natural.

It's like, you get desperate. It's like that movie. Uh, what's that Jim Carrey movie? The fun with Dick and Jane where, uh, where they lost everything.

And then so that one, yeah, where they lost everything. So they started going on like a crime spree and all this shit. Yeah. Yeah. Bonnie and Clyde type deal. Yeah. So what happened? So what happened is that like okay so when when covid hit or whatever everybody started getting unemployment right so uh so you're talking about

like scheming and all this shit so um i went over my aunt's house and my big brother was over there and he was up to like uh he was up to like yeah man he was up to like so uh so what you gonna do and i was like uh you know man i mean i'm gonna make draw and do some art and sell that and stuff he was like or and my little brother is in prison so he's like or we can get that nigga chase social security number and then get in and then and then type that in and get his uh and get his unemployment. And I was like, nigga, I'm on TV. I can't be. I was like, I do think that that's brilliant.

And if I was another nigga, I would've... But people getting fucked up for that. Yeah. Yeah. People getting... Well, the other thing that was happening

with the unemployment was like there was a lot of people that if they went back to work, they'd be risking their life. But if they just said was a lot of people that if they went back to work, they'd be risking their life. But if they just said, no, I'm too scared to go back to work, they still get that unemployment. And then you're not working for like long periods of time. You start to change the way you look at work. Yeah.

You start to change the way you look at things. Yeah. And then you hear about stimulus checks. Like, where's this fucking stimulus checks? Yeah. You start thinking, like, we're just going to start getting checks. That could be a dangerous thing if the government just starts paying everybody why because i just don't think they have the money for it where's it going to come from it's good they're going to have to somehow or another they're going to have to

take it from somewhere or they're going to have to start printing money and then it's just look for sure people need money to get back on track the problem is if if the government starts doing this on a regular basis and then they keep shutting things down and they keep giving we're gonna be it's gonna be some george orwell shit 1984 shit we're gonna be fully dependent on the government to keep cities open yeah towns open and then they're gonna be compliant to the ridiculous rules like you've heard the shit they're doing in la we were talking about before the show today that la they're gonna allow outdoor dining but you can't have a tv on what the fuck does that mean who are you who the fuck are you to tell people they can't

have a tv on like what do they have a jamie is there an explanation for why why does that matter because it doesn't matter. They're fucking criminals. These fucking people think they can just tell you what to do. L.A. County says no TVs for outdoor diners at local restaurants. What? Why? Yeah, why? Does it say why?

This provision is effective until further notice. They don't even have to tell you. They don't have to tell you shit. These fucking creeps i mean i mean it's like i said before it's like at least you don't gotta worry about them broadcasting the coronavirus sporting events like we talked about yeah this is what it says it says the broadcast performing to patrons in an effort to keep restaurants from becoming overcrowded for sporting events such as the upcoming super bowl first all, there's no evidence that this virus spreads outside.

None. Zero. Zilch. You can't find any evidence. There's no studies. If you look at all the, like when they have a pie chart of how the virus spreads, it spreads in supermarkets, it spreads a little bit in various indoor businesses. There's a very small percentage you show in restaurants, but it's mostly people working in the kitchen that are catching it. They're in tight quarters working together all the time. There's no evidence that it spreads outside, none.

So this idea about them being overcrowded, there's no evidence. Here's the thing, because I remember before L.A. shut down, I remember Saddle Ranch was packed and stuff, but it was outside, but they were ranch oh yeah what was like packed and stuff and but it was outside but they were like packed and i was like that looks unhealthy too yeah like that like i that like they're outside but they're still close together it's like we couldn't do shows right down the street and you know why it's because they were about to start doing shows again but then somebody called the health department on the comedy store and then that shit shut it down but why because i think it was like a troll i think it was like a troll or somebody who

who didn't like fuck with the comedy store like that like but that's what happened but what were they saying like what could they say they couldn't shut down they just said that um all i remember is that they said that it was a um that it was like a health problem and stuff like that. And so they shut it down. Right when we were about, they was going to start letting us perform in the parking lot. Yeah, I remember that. Bring back the best of the comics from the parking lot. And yeah, somebody got it shut down.

That doesn't make any sense. That's fucked up. So did you ever see when we had to perform in the window? Yeah, I did see that. Yeah, that shit was. That didn't make any sense either. That shit was hard. Yeah.

It was so hard. No connection. No connection with people. And I tried to beat the window so many times, I could never do it. Beat the window. I saw Donnell beat the window. I was like, ah, he beat the window. Donnell can beat the window.

Donnell can beat bulletproof glass. He can beat prison glass. No, he gonna get his. He could be prison glass He gonna get his We were doing these shows At Stubbs Barbecue in town With Chappelle And Mo Hammer

And Michelle Wolf And Donnell And this last one we did We did one run with Tony Hinchcliffe And this last run I did with Ron White And Donnell's been opening up the shows I mean my god He just comes out of there

Like a bat out of hell. Dude, he's unstoppable. Right out of the gate. Right out of the gate. So intense. So much energy. Dude, he's unstoppable. Look what he does, dog.

I was like, did he beat the fucking window? I didn't see him come back. You think he can beat the window, Joe? I don't know. You can beat the window. You can beat the window. Maybe. People just be excited.

I don't want to try can beat the window. You can beat the window. People would just be excited. I don't want to try to beat the window. Fuck. Yeah, but Donald doesn't give a fuck when he goes up. He doesn't give a fuck who he follows. He doesn't give a fuck. He just goes out. Just pow, pow, pow. Kind of just blazing.

Yeah. It was wild. Yeah, dude. These outdoor shows are different, too. It's weird doing an outdoor show. The comedy, the laughter is great. It's fun. People are all excited, but it doesn't echo.

I never liked outdoor amphitheater shows. No? I've done a few of them, but they're just not as good. Like them festival shows? Yeah, they're not as good. They're not as good. What you really want to do is the best shit is less than 500 people is really ideal. The main room is ideal.

Packed main room. Packed OR. Comedy Works in Denver. Cap City in Austin when it was open. That kind of shit. Low ceiling. Pow! The laughter rocks the fucking place.

Yeah. It's wild. That's what you want. Outdoor shows. We were doing this at an amphitheater. Off of, fuck, what is that? It's like off of 3rd Street in Beverly. I mean, like, Thursday and Friday run.

Like, Beverly, what is it? Pan Pacific Park. And they have an amphitheater out there. We were doing shows out there. People would roll up on their bikes and shit and just sit down in the amphitheater. And it was dope. It reminded me of, remember Charlie Barnett? yes the guy the new york comic it reminded me of doing performances like that like where it's like you know like like so it had that vibes you know or at least that or at least that was that was what i tried to bring to

it but um but so they weren't bad i for I for a second was the only person doing indoor shows. Like I think Tony told you I was running this show out of my apartment. Yeah. It was called the apartment show jammers

because this is- Didn't Tony do it? Yeah, he did do it. How many people did you have in there? Yo, man, it was lit. It was like 20 people in that bitch.

Like super spreader bro like no testing hell not hell no i i can't afford that goddamn covid shit like them damn tests i get all that stuff so i was i was giving people hand sanitizer and i provided a mask and because what was happening was i started it in last June, like right when COVID hit and comics were going crazy because we didn't have our passion to fuck with or whatever. And I was like, damn.

And I said, you know what I'm about to do? I said, fuck it. I said, I'm about to go buy a stereo. I'm about to go buy a microphone and I'm going to start a comedy club in my house. And my sister was up there like, my sister was like, yeah, yeah. She was like, I'll work the door and this and this and that. My sister was up there like, yeah, yeah. She was like, I'll work the door and this and this and that. I was like, all right, for sure.

So how did you get the people in there? Instagram. Really? I put out feelers. So I was like, all right, y'all, I'm thinking about throwing an apartment show in my house. How do I get people here? And then people were like, I'll come, I'll come. People were DMing me and shit like that. And I hit up my

comic friends and I was like, y'all trying to do some comedy? And we did it. It was like 20 people up in that motherfucker. Nobody got sick? No. And that's the thing about the show. That's another thing is that no one's ever said that they caught anything from

the show. And I got a dirty-ass apartment, yo. You know what I'm saying? And so, man, we did that joint. I did it on Monday for my birthday. I brought it out here, but I did it at a hostel. It's called Native Hostel. I did it at a hostel, and we packed that motherfucker out but it ain't the same as a fucking apartment like in the apartment and shit people was chilling on

the motherfucking bed people was chilling in the kitchen that was like the green room i brought pbr for everybody and we got it in that's people have been doing shows in apartments for a while though even before covid they were doing it for fun like like i know a lot of people were doing backyard shows they had like i got invited to a few backyard shows and i was like what are you doing it's like i'd like you to perform in my backyard i was like what are you talking about man you're doing a backyard show yeah but people had there was a lot of like you could see it on facebook and instagram people that had shows in their apartment yeah like it was just because look it's hard to get stage time in LA.

There's a lot of clubs, but there's a lot of comics and you got to get past. And it's, it's a, it's a grind. Yeah. And, and it's like,

once you get past, once you get past like the, uh, like the open mic levels, like, like, like, like I feel like stages,

like stage time, kind of, you know, my stage time, like, you know how many stages you know my stage time like you know how many stages you can hit like if you were like an open mic and stuff it ain't it ain't like that like like once you get past that level it's like man you can probably in in la it's like man you

probably hit like three spots improv live factory comedy store then that's about it maybe ice house you want to drive yeah yeah comedy magic club if you're really ambitious yo right yeah yeah but if you're an open mic you could do 30 of them. Dog, I remember doing nine open mics on a Sunday. Nine on a Sunday? I just wanted to see how many I could fucking hit. And I pulled off nine. Wow.

Yeah. Well, you got to get in the community, right? And once you're in the community, then people let you know where they're all at. Yeah. Because they're spread out these weird little bars and comic book stores and weird strange places that have mics where's the weirdest place you perform well i did uh bachelor parties with no microphone that was rough that was rough just a bunch of drunk dudes and you know obviously they don't have any money other they would have bought a stripper

hired a stripper to come and it wasn't no stripper there no just me those were the roughest ones i did a jack and jill strip club in rhode island that was the weirdest one because a jack and jill strip club is like there was a time where they tried to have strip clubs where a man performs and a woman performs and couples would go like a man and a female stripper like a man would strip and then a female would strip and the couple would sit there and watch both of them it was so strange and the people that went up they looked like the type of people you'd expect at this kind of place and you know in the audience there was maybe six people in the audience and you know you know how sometimes you bomb and it's like you know you just it just

feels terrible this is i was bombing and it felt like i was performing in front of people that didn't understand a word i was saying i didn't get any noise yeah there was nothing it didn't even feel bad yeah i was like what is this i mean i was you know young in the game anyway i was only probably doing comedy a year and a half or so it was because it was it was a terrible gig it was for this dude uh oh man i'm trying to remember the guy the booking agent's name but he had a bunch of these weird fucking gigs in rhode island like they were all they were all real shady like strange bars and you'd go to and you'd always get paid yeah but they were always very weird and this one

there was you know like I said like six people in the audience and the type of people that you would see in an audience that would come to see a guy strip and a girl strip were very strange well what they look like just like older people that just didn't have any hope and just sitting there and just just look confused as to why they were even there and again there's only six of them in the whole audience and then but there was one dude there was a pool table in the back there's one dude playing pool and i came over to talk to him and he was just a regular dude from new jersey and he's like man what the fuck is this place i go what are you doing here and he goes i'm in town visiting my

family i had to get out of the fucking house yeah and i saw this place and i came over and he was like what is this the guy and the girl both of them they were not attractive yeah at all no they both looked like they've been drinking and doing drugs their whole life they look sad and tired and bad tattoos and and where'd you go up where'd you go up did you go up in the middle of the beginning i'd go up the beginning and then i'll bring them up call it i would go up in the middle in between them and then i bring up the girl and then i go up at the end and wrap up the show it was it was a nightmare you did crowd work i tried first of all it was terrible right i'd been doing comedy like i said like a year and a half maybe two years yeah i don't really remember but i wasn't good and then on top of that these people just were barely awake it was in wound socket rhode island which is like

a very it's a portuguese section of rhode island rhode island has a lot of portuguese immigrants for whatever reason they came to that area so these motherfuckers might not have even spoke that much english i don't know i don't i you, dude, I didn't get any response. Yeah. You know, it was like, silence. Yeah. Fuck. I remember that one. But that one didn't even make me feel bad.

Yeah. I remember leaving that one just laughing. Like, what in the fuck? What is that? Fuck. Yeah, that's crazy. Fuck. I can't even remember, like, the weirdest. They doing them in back of trucks now. I know. I saw that. Yeah. Bert did one of those. Yeah, that's crazy. Fuck, I can't even remember the weirdest.

They're doing them in back of trucks now. I know, I saw that. Yeah, yeah. Bert did one of those. Yeah, those shows are actually lit. It's a good stage. Yeah, yeah. You know?

Yeah. Pickup truck, flatbed. I mean, it seems like a good stage. Yeah, but that's where comedy is in LA right now. Well, Eleanor's doing a show at the Magic Castle. They have shows in the parking lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Tammy Jo runs that show.

How are they allowed to do that? In the parking lot? Yeah, if you can't have outdoor shows. Are they just doing it? I don't know. I don't know. I haven't even went to the Magic Castle show. Well, I don't want to blow her up.

Maybe they're not still doing it. Eleanor had it on her Instagram. Yep, they're there. Eleanor Kerrigan in the house. But maybe they're just doing it and waiting for people to shut them down. Oh. Bro, it's bad. LA's bad.

Yeah, and I'm like, I don't even know what I'm going to do when I get... Maybe I'll audition or something. I don't know. I don't know what to do when I get back there. I think you've got to be in your car still. I could drive in. Oh. I don't like that shit.

I don't like that shit. Drive-in stand-up shows? People honk when they want to heckle? Come on, man. Don't play with me. I hate that shit. But I'll tell you what. Burt Kreischer's got that shit dialed in.

Yeah? He's got shit dialed in. Yeah? He's got it dialed in. Yeah. They set up a big stage, and he'll do hundreds. Like, I ask him, how many people were in your crowd? He goes, 700 cars. What?

But just in fact, you're doing it by car. Yeah. It seems so bizarre. Would you do some shit like that? I would do that. I would do it with Burt. I would do it with Burt. Yeah.

700 cars sounds like a good time. I did an outdoor venue. I went to see a show at an outdoor venue. Bert was in town. What was that place again? The place where Bert was at? It's in Dripping Springs. Was it Waller Creek?

I don't believe so. There's a few amphitheaters in different areas around. They have these outdoor barbecue spots that have an amphitheater it's like people play music and eat food and bill was there there was like 600 people in the crowd it was literally like 40 degrees outside we're nutty brown and we're sitting there zipped up to tie a jacket on zipped up to my face sitting there shivering laughing my ass off but bill murdered it man it was he's seeing him seeing real stand-up yeah real and current events shit talking about all the stuff that's going on the world right now it was it was so good and he's been on a tear man he's been traveling all over the country just doing outdoor

shows and being careful and wearing masks and you know he won't even shake your hand even me really you know i go dude i get tested every day he's like i'll give you elbow i'll give you elbow and then he came in here we both got tested then he gave me a hug right that's funny i try to get him to come to my apartment show i tried he wants you know he's gotta be safe he's like absolutely not he needs to make the money off of stand-up because he doesn't i mean he makes he makes money off his podcast, but I'm sure he's got a large nut. And he was complaining on stage about his wife spending money, so I'm sure that's real too. Yeah.

Fuck. There's so many people that didn't have a podcast that all of a sudden their income went away. And they thought, okay, it'll go away for a month. I'll be fine. Yeah. And then here we are 11 months later. Yeah. yeah like what in the fuck is going on yeah when when when can we go back to work like what is happening most people i knew people that were like criticizing other people for going on the road and now they're on the road yeah yeah because they realize oh this is

yeah we got to take the shit into our own hands. Yeah. My mom was like, oh, my God, are you going to Austin? Are you going to Austin? I'm like, why are you traveling? I was like, bitch, I got to work. You going to give me rent money? Like, bitch, I got to fucking work. You know? And then she was like, hmm, I guess.

Yeah. Well, Joey Diaz got mad at me at first. Why are you going to fucking houston joe rogan what are you doing joe rogan like you know the first time i did the improv i was like listen man i miss it i want to do it he's like stay home stay home mind your business but he's doing stand-up now yeah yeah exactly after a while people just get they can't take it like you know you need it yeah they can't take it anymore he's being you need it. Yeah, they can't take it anymore. He's being careful. He lives in Jersey now, for now.

I'm going to have him come out here, too. He has to come out here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I miss seeing him, dude. That's the glue. That's the glue that held the wildness together at the store. He don't give a fuck about nothing. He doesn't give a fuck.

That's real, too. And I didn't, since I wasn with uh with his personality and stuff so i remember one time i think you were there like i got my i got my keys stuck in my car uh uh in the parking lot and then uh people couldn't get out of the comic store parking lot and uh he couldn't get out i you would think he got out but like um but whatever so the next day i saw him uh at parking lot, he was like, hey, jerk off. He was up there like, stop getting your fucking keys locked in your car. He was like, all right, you know Uncle Joey loves you. And I was up there like, I've never even talked to this man in my life, but I love how he just, I love that.

I love him. Well, you know, he's got that wild East Coast sense of communication. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Insulting you is Coast sense of communication. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Insulting you is a sign of love. Yeah, yeah. It's like, have fun. That was one thing that I noticed when I came from New York to LA. It's like, New York comics are constantly shitting on each other.

Yeah. And LA comics, at least in the 90s, when I first moved to LA, they were all trying to get sitcoms, man. They weren't insulting anybody. That's all they were trying to do. They were trying to get sitcoms, man. They weren't insulting anybody. That's all they were trying to do. They were trying to just make everybody their friend. Out here, I mean, like nowadays, it picked back up a little bit in L.A., but now they do it under roast battle. You know what I'm saying?

Now it's like that. But just outwardly and shit, people don't like to step on toes because people are still trying to – They're trying to get ahead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's part of the showbiz aspect of Hollywood. It's like they all wanted to be cast in shows and they want to make sure they don't say anything too crazy. I know a lot of comics that didn't want to do certain jokes or certain topics even though they thought it was funny

because they were worried that a casting agent wouldn't put them in a show, or an executive would see it, and they would think they'd be too... I'm like, God damn it, man. You're a comic. First and foremost, you're a comic. I figure...

This has always been my strategy. I figure, come out crazy. You know? Come out crazy, and then let them see that, then scale it back. You know, like when you... Control it. Yeah, dude. But come out crazy and then let them see that, then scale it back. You know, like when you, like. Control it. Yeah, dude.

But, like, come out crazy so they know what the fuck they may be getting. Yeah. Well, listen, man. It's just, it's, these fucking people, they're all, like, led by whatever they think is the standard that they have to adhere to. It's not, like, if you were alone with them, they would call people retards and they would say crazy shit and they would laugh at bad jokes and yeah but but when they're together under this like this the guise of being a part of a network and you know it's like they have a career to protect and everyone's worried the one thing that that's beautiful about live

comedy is you add a few drinks people are smoking weed the place is dark the spotlight comes on the comic you say wild shit everyone's laughing then you find yourself laughing it breaks down all these walls and you realize no this is just fun this is not what he really means about anything yeah he's just being wild and it's fun to watch it's fun i i remember um i remember a long time ago coming up in a comic, one of the best things I ever heard. Oh, am I in the way? Oh, okay.

Jamie's moving me over. I'm trying to get a hand signal. I'm trying to see his eyes. Let me fix this shit for you. There we go. All right. One of the best. Your eyes.

Yeah. One of the best things that a comic ever told me, even earlier in life, was like, yo, man, the audience comes to hear and see some crazy shit. Yeah. Well, especially at the store. Yeah. Yeah.

But you got to establish that. I remember in the improv, that wasn't the case. Yeah. Like the improv, like the early days, Joey used to go to the improv, and he'd be like, Joe Rogan, I don't like that fucking place. There's too many fucking mutts. Too many white people. That's what he said that fucking place there's too many fucking mutts too many white people he's like too many fucking mutts i say some shit they they fucking get all they clutch their pearls yeah he would but eventually we started doing shows there

yeah and so when we started doing shows like we did these joe rogan and friends shows then everybody knew it was like that we were getting our people to come down there and then it was wild again. Then Joey loved it. Dude, I remember getting banned from the improv. I remember getting banned from the improv because we had this thing called, it was me and the guys I was coming up with, and we all had a showcase. It was called maybe like Best of the Improv, or New Faces of the Improv,

or something like that or and uh all my friends were honored and stuff and you know everybody you know everybody is kind of like straight edge kind of like you know clean and shit like that and then i would have to go up last and i was getting frustrated in the back and i was forgetting my jokes and so when i when i forget and i just say, fuck it. So I went up there. I think I talked about, like, you know, like, I had a joke about, like, my grandma making me smell her pussy when I got bad grades. It was so fucking absurd. What kind of grades you getting

and I was like oh F come here smell this and I was like no that's such a ridiculous joke it's such an absurd joke but like at that time but at that time you know Rita from the improv like she was up there like so we had to do

oh and by the way I ended that set by saying, fuck y'all and good night. And I dropped the mic. I don't know what the fuck came over me, but I was like, oh, bro, I think that that's just your spirit taking over. That's just who the fuck, that's just a preview of who you're going to be later on as a fucking comic.

Right, right. So Rita. How many years in were you? Shit. I was like, I was probably 22. So 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22. I was five years in. Oh, okay. But you were only 22.

Yeah. And so the next day, Rita, she had everybody. She never did this shit. The next day was the open mic. She had everybody sitting down, and I kind of come in a little late, and she was just sitting on the stage talking, like, talking to all the comics. I ain't never seen this shit in my life. So she was giving people their reviews.

She was like, Gerard, amazing. Angelo, amazing. She was like, oh, you could do this, but you did a great job. And then she was like, Jamar, what in the fuck did you think you were doing? And I was like, oh, I was trying to be funny, Rita. And then she was like, smell of your grandmother's pussy. I wish I was there. I'd be like, Rita, that shit is hilarious.

Let them grow. The audience was confused, though, too. I ain't gonna lie. They were like. Listen, you. I ain't gonna lie. They were like... Listen, you need to bring that joke back. Have you been doing that lately? Hell no. That was like...

Oh, my God. Please, Jamar, bring that back. You can figure out a way to make that work. Oh, my God. Today, you can make that work. Yeah, now, but back then... Right, but that's always the case in the beginning. That's what I would call a black belt premise like it's a complicated premise it's not

like a white belt premise a white belt premise is like oh you know it's easy set up punch lines obvious what you're talking about you're saying some wild shit like you gotta the audience has to have trust in you for you to joke about your grandmother's smelly pussy and how you have to smell it if you have bad grades. That shit looks retarded, dog. Yeah, but it's making me laugh right now. The fuck part about that shit is that if I'm in a joke,

I don't care at what level of comedy I was ever at. If I'm in it, I'm going to do the whole fucking thing, whether I'm bombing or not. The whole act out, I'll put the whole story in that shit and everything. I don't give a fuck if it's quiet at the end. I'm going to do the whole fucking thing, whether I'm bombing or not. The whole act out, I'll put the whole story and everything. I don't give a fuck if it's quiet at the end. I'm like, well, no one in here has had a stinky pussy before, huh? No one in here has got an F?

Okay. How did you get involved in doing the roast battle shit because when you guys would do when it when it was you and and jeremiah and willie and willie and you guys would act out and when would someone kill somebody with a roast you guys would pile onto the stage and act out various scenarios and it made the show bro it made the show thank you i really appreciate that because people online was eating us up they was up there like who in these fuck are these idiots but i uh you can't read those but but but it wasn't about that for us like we was just trying to have fun so in the beginning stages of uh uh of the roast battle and shout out to jeff for letting us do that you know what i'm saying yeah it's a wild move yeah it is um but you but

i feel like a show like that where you where you're constantly spouting like these insults and shit like that and a lot of them are really fucking dark you need a palate cleanser it don't matter like a good way to put it yeah that's a very good way to put it yeah so uh so at the beginning like when they first start like the origins of it and shit when they first start like me willie and jeremiah we'd be sitting like just watching these motherfuckers like just talk shit about each other and i i naturally have a big laugh and whatever it's damn near over exaggerated and shit and then so jeremiah and we we all like would start watching it or whatever and then i would laugh and i would do like different shit i would like get like i would like start dancing and shit

on stage and shit like that or whatever. And then Jeremiah and them start coming in and all this stuff. And then so that shit escalated. So one time, one time, like one week,

we were like, hey man, let's go to Goodwill. And every time, and every time somebody say something funny and I was like, we just go up there

and like these different props and shit, right? And then so, yeah. And so then it would get like really fucking elaborate we would do like costumes and shit like that but it all started from just over laughing and just like trying to just fuck around and kind of troll the fucking battlers kind of sort of and the whole thing or whatever but that's how it started and um yeah man did you guys get together and plan out like various little things that could possibly be happening if someone kills somebody?

And if, how did you know when to bring out which one? So, um, okay. So, so we would get very, uh,

so we would go prop shopping. Some of that shit didn't make sense, but like we would go, we would go prop shopping and shit but um is there a video compliment compilation of like the best of the wave yeah it is it is oh fine yeah yeah there should be if there isn't yeah it has to be uh so so we would go uh we would go prop shopping and shit like that right and we would know who was battling or whatever and so we were like well this person's fat this person's a lesbian this person's battling or whatever. And so we were like, well, this person's fat. This person's a lesbian. This person's trans or whatever.

So they're probably going to say stuff like this. So let's get this rainbow flag. Let's get some gasoline. So when somebody says something about this gay dude, we're going to burn the rainbow flag. Did you guys actually burn a flag? We burned a Confederateederate flag in uh in uh in um in uh where's what in from in alabama and the whole crowd went and the whole crowd like gave us a standing ovation really yeah that was like

one of the bits indoors burning a flag is dangerous as fuck but people but that's the dope thing about the wave is that people never ever knew what the fuck we were gonna do so we would get away with shit like that because of the air of unpredictability. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a great name for the group of you, too, The Wave. Because before we did the roast battle, I would be in the OR. And when somebody would do something funny, I was always an over-laugher anyway, whatever. So one time somebody did something, I was like, ha, ha, ha, and I was like, whoa!

Whatever, right? And then so we started doing that in the roast battle too, you know what I'm saying? I was like, oh, we should just call ourselves The Wave or whatever and this and that. We're The Wave. So every time they shout us out, we'd be like, whoa.

And sometimes a whole crowd will fucking do it and shit. You know what I'm saying? Because it's literally a wave of whatever the fuck's about to happen after this joke. You know what I'm saying? And you guys did it for it. I came to the store in 2014 and one of the things, I came back to the store, and one of the things that brought me back, the big thing that brought me back was Ari. Because Ari was filming a special there the next day.

I had to go. I had to be there for that. Ari's one of my best friends. And the other thing was I wanted to see Roast Battle. Because everybody told me about it. And I remember being up there and sitting in that audience going, wow, this is special. First of all, the jokes, the joke writing was excellent. These people that I didn't even know, they were crushing each other.

And then you guys would run on stage and make chaos. And I was like, this is a wild, creative fucking show. But that was 2014. Yeah. So we're talking about six, seven years, seven without COVID, six years of solid performances. Yep, yep, yep. and it was so fucking fun and the dope the one of the dopest things about that and and it made me um it made me really appreciate like what we get to do yeah you know uh is i remember a time we went to uh jfl to do it live and um

and i was sitting there and i was sitting there and I was getting kind of nervous about the show because this was a live show. They were going to do it live for Comedy Central. And I was a little nervous about the show, like in my hotel room. And I was up there like, bro. I was telling myself, I was like, man, you need to chill out. And I said, what you need to do, get those red pants, get that wig and go up there and dance like James Brown.

You get to do that and i was like oh yeah get up yeah yeah and so so and so uh there was a bit i don't know whose battle it was but like you i don't know if you ever got it or whatever but it's me up there like dancing like james brown and shit like that or whatever people like we were having a great time even online may have not liked it i mean like online may have not liked it but if you are there listen man fuck the online yeah fuck them for real fuck that they're just a bunch of malcontents you know who this is what i always say this it's not like the people don't comment interesting shit on on YouTube videos or Instagram. They do.

There's some people that do. But the people that complain all the time, most of them, 99% of them, I'm making that number up, are fucking losers. Yeah, yeah. That's why they're complaining about shit all the time. Well, I figure that's what the comment section is for anyway because I ain't gonna lie. I'm a troll my goddamn self. Yeah. I'm like, so yeah, yeah, yeah. But all that mattered to us is that we were having fun and that we got to do this.

It's one of the best parts of the show. Yeah, man. Anybody who doesn't get that, it's one of the best parts. I remember there was one where somebody got somebody. I forget what happened, but you guys came out with, what are those things that pop out of cans that look like worms and shit? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The little streamers.

Yeah. Streamers were popping out. You guys were rolling. I'm like, this is wild. Because whoever it was got this person so good. And then you guys all fell out of the stage like, bah! And it was amazing. It was amazing.

And you could see in the audience, the laughter was hard, and then it took it to another level. And then people were like, this show is amazing. That show was one of the best creations of the store. Yeah. And Moses is the perfect guy to host it, because he's so nice. Yeah. He's so funny, and he's so nice. And then he makes everybody hug it out at the end.

You hug it out. There's no meanness coming from Moses. If Hinchcliffe was hosting it, it might go too dark. Right, right, right. You know what I mean? Moses is like, I don't have a side. I'm just, go ahead. All right, break it up.

But he's also fun and he's just a good dude. Yeah. So it's like that comes off when he's on stage. Yeah. And then when he would host it, it just man i missed that show i used to drop in on tuesday nights just to watch just to see some chaos and just see some creativity and some young comics just getting after it yeah dude and and i and i i fuck i used to get up like i used to get up there and i used to fucking battle and all that shit and and then that was. But then I had to stop doing that.

Cause I don't like the idea of thinking about somebody for two whole fucking weeks and stuff like that. Yeah. But, but it did help like my joke writing and all that stuff. Great joke writing exercise. Oh, absolutely.

But, um, but I think being in the wave, like really like developed me though, as a, as a performer though, too, like that was doing some work on our shit, too.

Oh, yeah. You had to commit. And the other thing is that that was a late night show. And it was always sold out. It was perfect. It was always sold out. There was a line. I mean, what time would that thing start?

Okay, it would start at 1030. They would do like a mic or like a little book spots ahead. And then what, like 1145 what like 11 45 that's when it was time so really the show started at almost midnight on a tuesday night and it would be mobbed yep mobbed i mean it was supposed to have listen i'm not going back to the store because it's not going back it's not it's not going to be the store again i'll go back if it comes back but i'm going to be honest about the numbers. The fire department probably wanted about

80 people in there. There's probably about 150. You couldn't wear good shoes up there. I was downstairs below it and I remember someone was crushing and you guys were jumping around and the ceiling was moving. I was like, oh my God. I was like, when was the last time anybody

did a structural assessment? Just to hang up on those backstairs just so you could hear if you couldn't get in you'd be like i'm all yes i can hear it yes yes but it was there was some motion at one time that the ceiling was moving i was like imagine if everybody just came piling into the fucking kitchen if the ceiling collapsed fuck oh yeah we used to turn that fucking belly room out, man. We need to do that shit out here. We need to have roast battle in Austin. Is Jeff Ross doing it? He ain't doing shit.

Yeah, man. I want out Jeff Ross. Some guy brought it up. Somebody guy brought it up that he was going to start it back up out here. And he was like, I would love for you to do the wave. And I was like, I don't do the wave anymore kid i'm past that you know i tried to big time them well you probably should be past that yeah i mean but that's what i'm saying like it was like i would definitely do something with the way with my friends with with the wave or whatever but i don't want to go on

stage and yeah no i get it i get it you did it forever yeah but but it was just i think things that are just wild like that are great for the soul of comedy yeah that's what i felt when i was there in that audience and again this was the night before ari filmed a special i decided i had to go there a day earlier i'll be overwhelmed because i knew i was gonna start crying so i got there i was like okay let me just let me just see what the store is like now and then jeff ross introduced me to the crowd and it was it was weird man it felt weird it felt like like oh my god it was crazy but the the feeling of the room was like this is this is not the same comedy store that i left seven years ago yeah this is a better place. It's more creative.

It's more wild. And to be there in that, that wasn't packed the same way. That was only like a legit like 90 people, but it was still, it was fun, man. It was crazy. Yeah, man. We used to tear the roof off that place, man. Oh my God. Because, you know, we'd work all week doing whatever job we had before.

You know, maybe it was a writing job or somebody had. But every fucking Tuesday, you know, every fucking Tuesday, like me, Jeremiah, and Willie, we'd get giddy. We'd be like, oh, shit. You going to do that? Okay, okay. Yeah. I'm like, all right, man. I'm going to get Willie.

All right, I'm going to get Willie. I remember Dennis Rodman jumped in the wave. Dennis Rodman, big drunk ass, jumped in the fucking wave. We were like, fuck it. I was like, this is what kind of party it is. Hey, Dennis Rodman, Bobby Brown jumped in the wave. Bobby Brown was there? Bobby Brown was at the store a bunch of times.

Yeah. Yeah, I ran into Bobby Brown at a sushi place. Yeah. It was one of those weird things where, like, you know, when I was a kid, have a little step i take you know like i knew bobby everybody knew bobby brown yeah so i run into bobby brown at a sushi place he says hi to me he was like what's up gentlemen's like oh my god bobby brown knows who i am yeah it's so strange shaking his hand giving him a hug i was like wow bobby brown bobby brown it's crazy oh man yeah that comedy store this you know that place

was such a Jeremiah's translating oh my, that's hilarious. This is the Indian world. I'm talking here. Dennis, Dennis, Dennis. We already know everything about you. There's nothing else. And Worldstar doesn't have subtitles. What the fuck is happening right now? I'll take you a selfie with it.

Do what you want. Oh, that's so funny. Well, there's a real value in a little club like that, a tiny spot. And that's one of the things that I want to have out here. I want to have a small club, too. I don't think you just have a big club like the main room. I think you need a belly room. I think you need a little laboratory, you know, just to fuck around.

Like, it would be really hard to create a show like that or like a lot of others. Like, Kill Tony started out in the Belly Room too. Yep, I remember that. Yeah, you need a laboratory. You need a place where you're just kind of fucking around. There's lower expectations. It's more of a hang. When you get to a large audience, everybody's like, wow, this place is back.

This is a big thing. Yeah, like you do that small club to go do the big club. Yeah, exactly. But I feel like it's like training. You need to to do running and then you also need to hit the bag you need to do different you need to lift weights you need cross training yep it's so funny i remember um i remember i still do but like i i would um speak about training and stuff like that like i would go to the gym for fucking for fucking six hours joe six hours every motherfucking day bro uh just to mentally prepare myself for doing comedy six hours yeah bro what would you do for six hours anything i could think of like anything i could fucking i

accidentally learned how to box just by being in in the gym for six hours like like like for like like every fucking like every fucking day learn boxing by yourself yeah yeah I would take I would take little I would take look I would see people in the gym and stuff like that what you mean you working out at a fortune boxing oh okay just a fortune yeah he's legit yeah I love just Joey Diaz used to go there, too. Yeah, yeah. All the, yeah, all, like, you see fucking Sylvester Stallone, brother, and that motherfucker, like.

I'm here to work out, though. Just to fucking mentally prepare myself for a fucking 15-minute set at the comedy store, like, it's fucking retarded. That's, so you just did a fight, didn't you? Didn't you take a fight? Yeah, I did. We talked about it before yeah we talked about it before i i was we talked about it was almost a year ago yeah right before covet hit yeah you

were telling me you were thinking about taking a fight i was like whoa okay i said uh because i was gonna go do golden gloves yeah uh i was i was um i was 34 so i was like oh and and i was gonna do um i was gonna do the golden gloves because i was 34 I was 34 and the cutoff to do it is 35. And one of the main reasons I wanted to do it because I heard that Eddie Murphy had done it. Eddie Murphy fought in the Golden Gloves? Or Silver Gloves or some shit like that. Really? Or they used to box when they were younger.

And then Martin Lawrence. Well, his brother, Charlie, was a bad motherfucker. Yeah. Legitimately. Yeah, I heard. Very good martial artist. I hear stories. Yeah, he was good Charlie, was a bad motherfucker. Legitimately. Very good martial artist. I hear stories. Yeah, he was good. I was with Charlie Murphy. We were on tour.

I was with Maurice Smith, who was UFC heavyweight champion, and Ivan Salivary, who was one of the top fighters in the UFC. We had done a show together. Me and Charlie did a show together, and then we all went out to eat, and these guys came out to see me. So afterwards, we're all eating dinner, i think brian red band had the photo of this this

conversation on his instagram and i think he sent it to me and i might have put it on my instagram or my twitter but charlie murphy was holding court you got ufc former heavyweight champion of the world maury smith you got Ivan Salivary, top flight UFC fighter. And you got me and a couple of my friends. And then Charlie Murphy is standing up, talking about, you motherfuckers don't know how to throw the Chicago Ridge hand. Like he had some strike called a shot. That's it.

That's it right there. That's it right there. 2007. Look at Charlie. Look at that. Ivan Salivary is the guy with the watch on the far right there. 2007. Look at Charlie. Look at that. Ivan Salivary is the guy with the watch on the far right side. Maurice Smith is the guy with the white t-shirt right next to him. Oh, my God, dude.

I'm telling you. Charlie Murphy was holding court. We were dying laughing. And he was talking about like a ridge hand is a weird karate strike where you hit someone with like this side of your hand. You like throw it like this. I i mean it's got its place like you know sometimes dudes in mma they ko a guy and then they hammer fist a guy yeah because it's really the best move in certain situations yeah and then the ridge hand charlie murph was saying y'all motherfuckers don't know about the ridge hand

chicago ridge hand here like this chicago style ridge. I don't know. This shit feels soft. It's not the best way to hit somebody. But you could for sure you could fuck somebody up. It's if you're hitting

soft tissue in the face like I wouldn't recommend it for the top of the head. Like knuckles are better for sure. Yeah, I would never Chicago Ridge Hand somebody.

Maybe my little brother. Is that Charlie Box? No, no, no. That's me, that's me This motherfucker was so fat Oh, the guy you fought? Oh, dude, look at you swinging wild I was like, don't take water on that bitch

Are you left-handed? I am Oh, shit, no kidding Oh, dude, Jamar, look at you go And you get a drink of water when the guy's down You're not supposed to do that. That's over anyway, right? Isn't it over?

Yeah, we quit. The only reason, and I don't take crazy credit for it. I mean, a win is a win for sure. I mean, that guy was fat as fuck. So you had, guys are wearing masks. This was COVID. When did this fight happen? Yeah, yeah, it was.

When did this happen? This was like in October. In October. So did they test you at all? No, man. No. They made a sign and release it says, hey, we're not responsible for anything that happens. Any diseases you might catch while you beat the shit out of each other?

Yeah, and I only did that because I didn't get to do the golden gloves. Remember, I walked up to you and I was like, Joe, i'm thinking about doing the golden gloves you're like have you ever fought and i was like yeah i mean i spar now yeah well i knew you were in really good shape you you throw you would throw in a monkey wrench into this thing that i always disputed there was a thing where people said you couldn't be funny if you were in great shape yeah because you would go on stage jacked with this full six pack and killing it. Shirt off.

And I was like, it's possible. Look how funny Jamar is and he's up there with no shirt on. He's shredded. Fucking, well, yeah, yeah, yeah. People think I do that shit

just to show off my body and I swear to God, I do it because I think that shit is funny. It's kind of ridiculous. I mean, just like the Mohawk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not even really yours. Hell no, it's not, man. That shit's glued to his head. You's kind of ridiculous. I mean, just like the Mohawk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not even really yours.

Hell no, it's not. That shit's glued to his head. You need to know this. Steve Harvey did it for years. I could be my little Mohawk. I don't know why he did it. He's got a great head. Yeah, but back then... Back then, you couldn't be bald. Yeah.

That shit was too perfect. We in the hood, we used to debate that shit like that is really how this whole perfect thing that's perfect people can have a perfect hairline bro some people can't have a perfect hairline it's just not a lot of that shit that shit looked like a microphone he was destined to be a comic listen they did it right they did a good job on it yeah yeah yeah steve harvey wear a wig that's great his fucking... His shit was perfect. His lineup? Oh, God, it was great. Well, you know, some dudes can pull it off.

Yeah, that is a perfect line. It's perfect. God, this must get sweaty as fuck in there when you're on stage. You know? Killing it for an hour. Sweating. With his wig on top of your head. And I'd be playing with this shit like it's my real hair and shit, too i'd be like how do you glue that thing on your head uh it's double-sided wig tape

i bought this from a costume store because i um i did uh it's so fucked up how i started doing it i um i was doing like this little i was doing like this one man show and i was like and i had like these four different characters. And I was like, okay, that guy. I was like looking at the characters. I was like, okay, that guy's fine. That guy's fine. I was like, this guy needs a wig.

And I was like, yeah, this guy needs a wig. So I went to the costume store, and I tried on a jerry curl wig. And I was like, nah, man. I was like something a little more. And then I put this motherfucker on. And I was like, bro. I was like, that's little more. And then I put this motherfucker on. I was like, bro. That's it. Let's go. And then after the

one-man show, I just started wearing it. I was like, bro, I think you could just rock this. So I'm like, eh. I love how you wear it sometimes and sometimes not. I go see you at the comedy store and sometimes Jamar would have the mohawk and sometimes not because i wear it like i wear it like a hat yeah yeah yeah yeah like a sweater yeah yeah

bro i can't bro i'm again i want i want to uh i want a purple one oh i swear why not yeah i gotta figure out where to get this purple online online for sure i got this jamie will find one right now i mean purple mohawk wig a bunch of dms right now i'll make you a blue one someone will make you all kinds of colors they'll probably make you the whole rainbow send them baby you need a gold one oh my god i was just looking at your chains i was like imagine a gold one bro with the shirt off oh Oh my God. You would need a net to catch all that pussy. My grandma's snake pussy is in here. Get out of here, bitch.

Please bring that back. For you, I'll do it. Please bring it back. Are you working this weekend? I'm done out here. You're not working at all? What are you doing Saturday night? I got WTF. I'm done out here. You're not working at all? What are you doing Saturday night? I got WTF.

I got WTF tonight and after that I'm... What is WTF? It's this little bar called Whiskey Tangle at Fox Chair. Terry or some shit like that.

But I fly back on the 30th. Why? What's popping on the 30th? Tomorrow night is Tony's show. Tony's got a show at Vulcan and I'm there.

Oh, that's right. Friends of Tony. Oh, fuck. Yeah, what are you doing then? Fuck. Am I going to extend my stay? Fuck. I mean, I would damn, I feel like I want to fuck with that.

Come on down, Jamar. Alright, I'll stretch it out one day. Stretch it out a day peer pressure peer pressure come have some fun it'll be great because i ain't gonna be doing shit in l.a but fucking waiting on auditions and shit hearing sirens and helicopters fuck man we went down to the comedy store to film that uh there was like one last night where they filmed that um uh the comedy store documentary and it was whit Whitney Cummings and me and Andy Letterman and Bill Burr and Paul Rodriguez and Jay Leno, and we were all up on the roof.

And, man, it was sad as fuck. The Comedy Store was abandoned, and dudes were racing down Sunset because there was no one there. So there was like, you know how they have a lot of those dudes with real money live live like in beverly hills and they have lamborghinis and you'd always see them on sunset yeah well they were racing on i mean racing like yeah like you would hear that like guys flying in down sunset because no cops were stopping anybody for anything yeah this is just a few months after george floyd it was all this defund the police talk in the air It was past looting and rioting And everybody was scared And the cops didn't do a goddamn thing about it

You felt like the deterioration Of the fabric of the city You felt it in the air It was really disturbing It made me sad What do you think is going to happen to the store? Mad Max I think LA is going Mad Max.

I think L.A. It's going to be five years before L.A. comes back. That's what I think. I think they lost 75% of their restaurants. Who knows what percentage of bars and small businesses, but John Terzarian and Craig from Craig's, the restaurant in L.A., they were on the podcast.

They were telling me The The actual numbers Did I say his name wrong again? Terzian I said Terzarian Why do I have to say that? You know Listen I just suck at fucking last names

Armenians have great last names though It's always an Ian Terzarian Terzian Parisian Kardashian It's always an Ian. Terzarian. Terzian. Parisian. Kardashian. It's always an Ian. Really interesting.

Man, that makes me sad, man. That means I'm going to have to move out here. Well, you're going to have to move out here, Jamar, anyway. This is going to be the spot. Fine. Fine. We're going to put this together. What I want to do is I want to have a spot run by a comic. Yeah. Which we've never had before. Yeah.

Everyone's run by business people. Mm-hmm. You know? And the Comedy Store's been the closest place to that. It was run by a crazy lady. Yeah. And then when the crazy lady died, the comedians had already made it so profitable. Mm-hmm.

And it was a real fortunate turn of events that, like, I came back in 2014, and Mitzi died shortly thereafter. And it was, like, the way died shortly thereafter and it was like the way everything rolled out it was the the show it the place had become so profitable they didn't want to fuck anything up so it's not like they could have brought a business person in there and started doing it in a way that they would do like a road club we had a headliner and a middle and an opening act and you know they could have done it that way yeah if they figured out if

they needed a way to make a lot of money, that would have been the way to do it. But we made them a lot of money at the store, and they made all the money. It was an interesting situation. They realized, well, we've got a real good spot here because any other club where you would have sold-out shows Monday through Sunday.

The comics would be making most of the money. That's how it is if you go to Nashville. That's how it is if you go to Dallas. If you're a murderer, you're coming into town, and you're going to sell out every show in advance, and everybody knows. You make the lion's share of the money, and they make the bar.

That's what happens. But at the Comedy Store, that wasn't the case. The Comedy Store is a great financial situation for them they made a lot of money and we were happy that they made a lot of money because it kept the place open it kept this community going and it had gotten so profitable that even though Mitzi had left you know left this earth she left behind this system that had encouraged wild comedy and but most places don't do that most places they want a opening act a middle and a headliner they want the person to have tv credit so the people who

come get come see them and they want to sell a lot of tickets yeah and they want to make a lot of money and that's what how most comedy clubs work i don't want to work that way i want a comedy club that's run by the comics keep the freedom keep the freedom yeah you gotta have to create yeah you need freedom yeah you need to be able to talk about your grandma's stinky pussy goddamn right you have to you need that if someone comes along and says you can't do that well look maybe you can't do that but the only way to find out if you can't do that is to do it. Yeah. You know?

There's a lot of shit. Think about some of the things that Diaz has done on stage or Theo has done on stage or you have done on stage or all the wild people at the store have done on stage. The only way to find out if that's going to work is to let them try it. Yeah. Yep. That's it. Yep. Yep.

I don't know, man. It's a great place to live. Yeah, man. I mean, I'm'm still feeling it i don't care who got shot on my outside of my airbnb today i'm like i'm like are you sure they got shot maybe someone shot at them no bro no bro so i was catching an uber to go to to go to the gym and a guy in the uber guy called me hey, man, did something just happen to you? And I was like, nah, man, I'm in my Airbnb. He was like, oh, well, I just saw somebody get shot outside of your Airbnb. And I was like, nah, that wasn't me. And then he was like, well, if you still want to catch this Uber, I'll be up the street at the Jack in the Box.

And I said, nigga, I'm not about to walk down the street. Nigga, leave. Leave. And he was like, alright. I was like, fuck. And I just stayed in the house. The Uber situation is so interesting because no one ever saw that coming. Here's the thing. Cabs have been around since the beginning of time. Cabs have been around

forever. From the beginning of time, there's been cabs. You call a cab you hail a cab in new york city somebody figured out like wouldn't it be cool if you could just use your car and make money just driving people around it seems so simple so simple how come i didn't think because we get people rides anyway everywhere but california had to step in and fuck it up they're like these people need health insurance, and they need dental. They just did that.

No, it's a gig. It's an easy way to make money on the side. And you can do it as long as you want and make as much money as you want. Stop fucking it up with insurance. Stop fucking it up. This is not a career. You're not talking about a dental surgeon. You're talking about a guy who drives you places

Just don't be a criminal because a lot of because a lot of times those those uber drivers do other shit Yes, most of the time Tom yeah Like you know, I really work at Walmart. Yeah Maybe they should be making more money. Maybe there's an argument there. Maybe they should be making more of a percentage You know, I don't commit I mean like of a percentage you don't think it should be commissioned i mean like like what like you don't think it should be commissioned like where were you driving to like yeah you know i think it should just be like that you think they should get like on something on top of that like something no no i'm saying like i

don't know what percentage they make like if it costs 20 to go somewhere how much does the driver make oh right i don't know i don't know how much the driver makes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I don't know what they... Let's find this out. What does an Uber driver average per hour? Let's find that out. Like, what's an average if you totaled up all the Uber drivers in the country, all the different places they go, what's the average that they make per hour?

Depends where you are. I'm going to say $25. Depends where you are and depends when they drive uh according to this i'm looking at now some of that's not a bunch of it's the cities so some under 20 bucks an hour average of 15 to 17 it looks like oh under 20 bucks an hour i would have thought it was more average eight to i average of eight to, I don't know. Yeah, it's a wild change there. For Uber, I'm surprised. I don't want to throw that.

I don't want to get anybody any ideas. But I'm like, has there ever been a thing where something bad has happened in Uber? Like you get in there with a crazy motherfucker. Girls. If I was a girl, I would be very scared to be in an Uber. That's the true part about Uber. You, I wouldn't be scared to be in an Uber. If I was a girl, I'd be very scared to be in an Uber. That's the true part about Uber. You, I wouldn't be scared to be in an Uber. If I was a girl, I'd be scared to be in an Uber.

Yeah, I'm like, does shit like that happen? Like, is the Uber driver ever crazy? Fuck yes. Girls have been raped in Ubers 100%, man. Damn. Let's find that out. How many times have, let's just not say Uber, just say rideshares, Lyft, Uber. How many times have women been sexually assaulted by their rideshare drivers? Or even the guy who's in the Uber pool next to you, like, damn.

I remember I read a story about this woman. She got an Uber, and the Uber driver was taking her in a weird path and then parked under a bridge. And she was like, what in the fuck is happening? She called 911, jumped out of the car and but this dude took the dude took off but she she parked he parked under a fucking bridge like what are you doing that's fine yeah you don't know who they are you don't know anything about them you're just hopping in the car yeah yeah and that's the thing about uber because did that ever happen with taxi drivers oh yeah oh yeah according to this thing about Uber. Because did that ever happen with taxi drivers?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah? According to this thing I'm looking at, according to Uber's data, 42% of those reporting sexual assault were the drivers. Oh, yeah. A lot of chicks want some dick. Is that what's up? Or is it girl drivers?

It could be that, too. I've had friends who drove Uber who'd be like, Yo, man, you know what I'm saying? This chick, you know, let me come in the house. I was like, oh, nigga, I need to drive Uber. Fuck comedy. Well, if girls are drunk and, you know, it's closing time. Yeah.

They get in a ride home and they start vibing with the driver. Next thing you know. I got friends who, like, got stories. Sure. But that's okay. that's just two people having fun yeah i'm worried about what happens to the the passengers so what what is the statistics the article i'm looking at came out in december of 2019 so it doesn't have the 2020 data because it's probably different um said over 3 000 cases were reported for uber there were 19 women at the time that had

sued lyft um 30 it says but drivers especially rough with the 19 of uber drivers and 30 of lyft drivers who are women are often reported being groped by passengers okay okay yeah that's a different animal that That's female drivers. Yeah, that makes sense. It's all dudes. We're the problem, Jamar. Yeah. It's all men.

Just over 3,000 reports were nine murders and 50 people killed in crashes. That sucks, man. Nine murders by Lyft drivers and Uber drivers? During the rides. I don't know if it says who did what. Or passengers, I'm sure. I don't like Lyft because the cars are shittier. I don't like the idea of a 96 Tercel coming to pick me up. When I lived in New York City,

one of the things that was happening was people were killing gypsy cab drivers. There was a rash of gypsy cab driver murders when I lived in New York City. So I lived in New Rochelle. It wasn't New York City. It was just outside the city. But when I was working in New York City. So I lived in New Rochelle. It wasn't New York City. It was just outside the city.

But when I was working in New York City, it was like, I guess I lived there. I moved there in 91-ish, somewhere around there, 91, 92. And there was a rash of cab driver murders where people would pick up cabs and say, hey, take me to Queens, and then shoot the cab driver and take all their money. Because a lot of these, there was gypsy cab drivers. And gypsy cab drivers are essentially like, they didn't have a license. And so a lot of it was immigrant dudes. Illegal, yeah. And they'd have cash.

They'd get only cash. They didn't have credit card machines. So if you got a guy at 2 o'clock in the morning and that guy had been on his shift since 6pm you knew that dude had a lot of money on him. And so they were murdering gypsy cab drivers at a crazy rate. Google that. You already did that?

One of the most dangerous jobs in New York gypsy cab driver. What year is this from? I couldn't find that but it says since 1990 180 drivers. It's two a month. I was trying to do the math on that. Two a month.

Yeah. Yeah, I remember one year. I want to say one year. It was a high year. It was like 48 dudes had been killed. It was crazy. Damn. Yeah, it's horrible, man.

But I remember cabs were really scared to pick people up. They'd look at you, look at you up and down. Is that why? When was this? Like in the 90s? This must have been in the 90s, yeah. If it's extended to a month, that's 90 months. Yeah, well, when I was living there, it was the 90s.

So that's when I remember. Is that why they really don't pick up certain people? Like, you know, like, black man can't get to get your cap like like type i think it's probably more racism than that uh but it's also like if you are around uh friends that have been robbed and you're scared and you hear about these people being murdered you know like when you think about a cab driver like you are you you never know you're you're opening your door and you're they're behind you you have no idea who they are what they there's no metal detector they could have a gun they could have a knife or it can be ben bailey yeah you can win a

thousand dollars yeah or it could be patrick bateman. Someone could fucking kill you for no reason, just for a fun time. It's a hard job, man, because you're just taking a chance. I used to drive limos. When I drove limos, it was like sometimes you would drive people and they'd be really cool. And sometimes you drive people and you get really creeped out, man. Just really creeped out. Some creepy shit happened to you? No, nothing happened to me.

But people would yell at you and you're like, Jesus, man, I'm a human being. You don't even know me. man i just really creeped out some creepy shit happened to you no nothing happened to me but you know people would yell at you and you're like jesus man i'm a human being you don't even know me yeah you're yelling at me yeah i remember one time some old dude yelled at me and i yelled back at him and there was him and some young dude in the car and they just they panicked i'm like listen man i'll quit this fucking job yo shut the fuck up fuck up. Don't yell at me. Isn't there a thing where maybe I heard it in a rap song, but people are putting drugs in the backseat of an Uber and taking it to a location, like sending it to a certain location? Yeah, for sure.

Oh. Yeah, yeah. That's creative. Yeah, that's definitely happened, 100%. Yeah. Yeah, especially if you tell the Uber driver, hey, here's an extra That's creative. Yeah, that's definitely happened. Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah, especially if you tell the Uber driver, you know, hey, here's an extra whatever for you. Yeah. Just drive this, man.

It's real easy. You don't have to do shit. Dude, I'm going to tip you. I'm going to tip you. Yeah. But especially giving cash. Yeah. You know, the Uber driver doesn't have any idea what's in the bag.

Yeah. Like, okay. Yeah. It's like they have uber eats do you like that uber eats no i don't fuck with that i don't like that shit either i don't trust anybody to not eat my food picket your fries and shit yeah spitting your burger and the idea the idea of this motherfucker getting out of the car in regular clothes like like he's not he's i but if it's good listen if they're if it's from a

reputable company and they seal the bag and everything it's like postmates and shit like that it's a great deal like you don't want to live especially during the pandemic you don't want to live leave your house but i just know people that have you know i know people that have gotten food that someone's eaten yeah yeah i don't like the idea of waiting for somebody to drop off my food. I'm like, I got to go get it. I'm a hunter. I got to go get it. But if you're lazy and you just want them to just door dash it over to you.

Yeah. It's weird. It's weird. It's like, listen, if you get a restaurant to deliver your food straight from the restaurant, the benefit is the restaurant doesn't lose all that money. And one of the things that John Terzian and Craig were saying when they were on the podcast was like, they have a margin of profit. Their profit margin is like 18%.

So that means that they need to make more than that in order to have any profit, right? With the amount of expenses it costs to make the food and hire the staff and pay for the space that they work in well when you do uber eats you lose money so when they're when these restaurants are selling food through uber eats and through door dash they're losing money because it costs more for them to make the food and then have it delivered but they're just trying to keep their customer base they're just trying to stay afloat and make just so just make money like maybe they're losing a little bit of money but at least they're they're keeping everybody employed and they're they got

their business rolling and so that's how Craig handles it you know and their their idea is that listen we just want everybody to be happy what this is what we do we make food for people want to make food for people. But if you could have the food delivered by the restaurant itself, you can call the restaurant. If they have delivery, it's way better for the restaurant. It's way better for the consumer because you're building a relationship with the people that run the restaurant. And a lot of times it's actually the servers. Like at Craig's, the servers themselves have been delivering food for people because they have very valuable customers they maybe they've been coming to

that restaurant for years and yeah then they'll deliver your you know you order some chicken parmesan they'll they'll deliver it yeah like mario yeah you know what do you think about these bird scooter what do you think about the bird scooter game i think it's a good way to die when you're drunk watch these these people in Austin. They're driving around in these rickety scooters. There's two people on a scooter, and they're hammered. And I'm like, you guys are going to break your fucking shins. Jamie's nodding.

The thing I don't like about them is that people treat them so bad, they leave them anywhere. They're rickety. Yeah, I think it's, I don't know. We have a sponsor. What is the sponsor? Unagi. Unagi Scooters is one of our sponsors,'t know it's we have a sponsor what is the spot unagi unagi scooters is one of our sponsors and they gave me one of them it is the shit yeah that thing is they're fun as fuck bad ass it flies and my daughter had one well i you know they sent it

to me when i let my daughter use it and she's flying down my driveway with i'm like that thing is fucking fast it's like a bird scooter It's just a really high-end scooter. It's like a really high-end electrical scooter. You give it a little bit of a push. It's just sitting there. But if you just give it a little bit of a push, it takes off, man. You can control the speed and everything like that. And it's got brakes.

So my daughter used that. And then she went and rented one of the scooters that they had in downtown austin and this is this janky rickety lime fucking thing that had been beaten up and they'd been jumping over yeah cones with it and it's like oh my god this thing is like barely hanging on no one's no one's running around there and torquing down all the bolts and making sure that everything's in alignment no those things that those i mean yeah and they treat those damn lime scooters so disrespectful dude like i've seen them in bushes and shit like who did that drunks like it's a drunk way of track they're too lazy to walk

and like i want to get there quicker yeah get on that scooter i want one well they're trying to do that with a lot of things now where you you know you just use your phone and then you can pick up a car like they're doing that with cars where they have cars laying around you also cars yeah cars yeah there's i don't know what the company's doing it but there's apps where they leave cars laying around for you and you could use your app and your app will unlock the car and you could just drive the car that sounds too much like bait car i'm like i take this shit somebody go not only that like who's doing that and are you testing them like maybe they should have like one of them i had a

buddy of mine who got arrested for dui and he he had a little tube that he had to blow into before he could start his car. So he couldn't ever run away from you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it would take like five minutes for him to start his car. Yeah. So he would get in his car. He'd have to blow on the tube. It would register.

It would take a little bit of time. And then it would give him a green light, and then he could drive off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you need if you're going to have an app where people can just pick up a car. What I don't like about them scooters either that you actually need a driver's they make you have a have a valid driver's license to work those motherfuckers what yeah really or at least i tried to start one up in la and and i and my driver's license suspended at the time and then so and then so i was like what the fuck i was like i don't know

that might be a california thing yeah the regulations here are very different oh okay like for instance if you moved here i could just give you a gun really yep i go to austin jamar have a gun and you would have a fresh brand new gun you wouldn't have to do any paperwork nothing really you could just give me a lot dude i've been here eight people give me guns what eight damn yeah eight guns i don't know if i can handle a gun you don't think so no i mean like have you shot a gun before nah but when i was seven this nigga named peanut let me hold his gun in the hood and i was like i was like i was it was a seven i was like this is so heavy thank you peanut well we're out here i'll take you to the range all right there's a there's a place called the range indoor gun range it's great all right yeah how am i gonna feel after

i shoot this gun joe you'll be fine all right. You wear headphones, so you block out the sound. You wear glasses. All right. Damn. You just need to learn how to do it correctly. Yeah. Bang, bang. It's fine.

Oh. I want to hold it like this. It's very bad for your accuracy. It's the Compton way. You don't really want to hold it one hand either. No. It's not. It's not that. It's hard to control really want to hold it one hand either. No. It's not. It's hard to control it.

Why do people hold the gun this way? It looks cool. Yeah, it is. It looks cool to go sideways like that. It's like a minister society shit. Yeah, you don't give a fuck.

I'm so crazy. How come no one's doing it upside down? All right. Anybody doing next level shit? Or anybody doing it that way? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's when you really don't give a fuck about a bunny. You don't care about somebody? You go handle up. Isn't there a thing about somebody like shooting a gun

like this kind of sort of like kind of like trying to like curve the bullet or some shit like that? Oh, well, that doesn't work. Like a tennis ball? Angelina Jolie movie.

Oh, that's what I saw it in. That's what I saw it in. Wanted. I saw it in Wanted. I was like, does that really work? Is that her and Brad Pitt? Yeah. Is that when they met? It's just him. it in Wanted. I saw it in Wanted. I was like, does that really work? Is that her and Brad Pitt?

Yeah. Is that when they met? It's just him. It's just her. Just her? What was the movie, Mr. and Mrs. Jones or something like that? Mrs. Smith. Mrs. Smith. Yeah, that's sad.

Yeah. That makes me sad. Are they still together now? No. That led to the adoption of a lot of children. Bro, she took in so many kids. Well, you know, listen. That's what's up. It's great. It's great that she does that. well you know listen that's what's great it's great that she does that yeah i respect that's not what's sad what's sad is that her and brad

didn't make it how long was there together and they and a long time like 10 years can i ask you this like do they do they okay since those kids are adopted does does she keep them kids that he still go see them kids like but you brought kids over here. I do not know. I don't know the specifics. But I do know there's a rule. There's rules of physics. There's rules of science. There's a rule.

Crazy pussy is the best pussy. It is. It's the best pussy. It is. She's clearly crazy. It is. It's got to be off the charts. She's so pretty. Yeah, I mean. mean she's so talented she got fat lips she's like she's like spit on me cute

they're ridiculous lips yeah like all those crazy girls that stuff shit into their lips they could only wish they had lips like her let me see those lips jamie pull up them lips pull up them lips pull up them angelina jolie lips they're outrageous those are i was talking about this shit i was like they were so pretty yeah i was talking about this shit uh to the homie the other day i was like damn boy let me get a younger angelina jolie find a good one before i pull is that a real one she reveals bell's palsy she's got bell's palsy i don't know there's that fake that's the problem with crazy too that's the problem with crazy is crazy comes with all sorts of neurotic shit she bad though oh she's so pretty and her husband her dad rather her dad is one of the greatest

actors ever john voight john voight's out of his phone that's her dad yeah that's her dad yeah they would talk on the phone this is allegedly i read her dad. Yeah, they would talk on the phone. This is allegedly, I read this in a story. They would talk on the phone in character. Like, say if she was playing a British soldier and he was playing a guy from Ireland, they would talk on the phone in character. Really?

They'd pretend they were these people. Like what? That's dope. So that means he was kind of like conditioning or like molding her kind of sort of.

Well, I think they were both adults at the time. Both playing make-believe over the phone. Yo. It's very strange. Didn't she used to make out with her brother

and shit on the red carpet or some shit like that? She kissed her brother on the lips on the red carpet. Damn, she nasty. I mean, if it's like a little peck that you give your mom, I'd kiss my mom on the lips on the red carpet. Damn, she nasty. I mean, if it's like a little peck that you give your mom,

I kiss my mom on the lips. I never kiss my sister on the lips. Oh, fuck. And I love my sister. I love my sister, too. I don't believe I kiss her on the lips, either. Fuck that. I mean, I have, for sure.

You know, tell her I love her. But I think that was a little different. I think the Angelina Jolie one, they held it a little long. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just long enough to be sexy. Yeah, long enough for everybody got super uncomfortable. Like, hey! Yep.

But her dad, John Voight, is like a full-on Trump supporter. Really? Oh, yeah. He's one of the weirdest Republican Hollywood types. Like, when you hear him talk about conservative values, you're like, this is something else going on here. This is not as simple as this guy is a conservative. There's some crazy that's coming out through this ideology that he's got. Yeah.

Have you ever heard him talk? No. Have you ever seen Midnight Cowboy? There he is. Let me hear some of this. This is her some of this. Let me hear some of this. We all sit with hope. We sit with a prayer. My fellow patriots of the USA, how can I begin? We've spoken about many times deceit, lies, corruption, and karmic law. You all may well ask, why hasn't God done what was asked of him? And I'll tell you why. He has a plan greater than anyone who asks.

My fellow Americans, this is the beginning of many disappointments that this administration will bring to this nation. Yes, we all know. But now what? That's what we all ask. Now what? We see the lie already, our soldiers being mistreated, these men sacrificing with blood, sweat, and tears to protect, and what do they get? No need to say. We all know. We know.

I will not sit here and talk about the left because I have, and we know very well that the left are against the greatness that was and that has left. We all know Trump's love for our country and its people. He wanted greatness. And now we are losing a great accomplishment. We all want to know now what now? What?

OK. I get it. I get it. He's gone, right? There's something going on there. Even the way he's talking, it's like... I got to pee. Go ahead.

I didn't know. I was like, I got to pee. Perfect timing. See you in a minute. I mean, you watch that video. What does that even mean? The soldiers being mistreated like instantaneously like Joe Biden takes office

Kamala Harris is vice president and immediately what are they doing they're peeing on soldiers like what is what is happening what is this what is he saying like we all know like it's just I wonder what happens when you get that old I really do because I know I'm definitely dumber than I was like 20 years ago.

I think. Sometimes I'm not. Like I have two alpha brains in a bottle of water and I feel like I got it back again. But for sure, my memory is like at least a small percentage has deteriorated. And I wonder how much of that memory deteriorating is because of just the sheer amount of information that I have in my head. I don't think people are supposed to be talking to people four or five days a week, three hours at a time about science and psychology and history and all the different things that I'm doing. I feel like my brain is overwhelmed. I don't know if my brain is capable of all that.

So I wonder. I was just talking about, like, what happens. Jamar's back. Pee quick. You pee quick, bro. Had to. Force it out. I wonder, like, I was saying, like, I wonder what happens to old dudes that they get that old.

And then my memory is like definitely like slightly less good than it was unless i take like a couple of alpha brains that shit really worked oh yeah for sure yeah i keep them right here man this is uh oh this is empty but uh i i take two of them in a bottle of water before anytime i talk to a scientist or any kind of intellectual i'll take two of those these are the alpha brain instants. What is it doing exactly? Well, what it does, what it's been clinically shown, this is blackberry lemonade.

What it's been shown to do, they had two double-blind placebo-controlled studies from the Boston Center for Memory, and it showed that it increased your verbal memory, meaning your ability to pull up words, your ability to form sentences. It increased your, I think it was your reaction time, and then the other one was alpha flow state.

If you go to onnit.com, you can read all that shit. But what it does for me is, for sure, it feels like it makes my brain fire smoother. And I don't struggle as much to form sentences. I don't struggle as much to pull up words. How long does it last? A few hours. Oh, shit. Yeah.

I'm going to leave with some of that. I got something. The vending machine, it's all free. Just press buttons. You can get whatever you want. Get your Alpha Brain. There's those Warrior Bars. I saw you were also on the – you posted about the Lion's Mane.

Yes. So I saw you post about that, and I was like, man, let me go get that shit. And then I got it, and I was like, all right, Joe. I even tagged you. I was like, all right, Joe. I said, we're're gonna see what the fuck you're talking about and i've taken it i mean i don't i mean i don't know if it works but i'm like if if y'all say it's healthy you know what i'm saying like i take pills and shit like that like do my vitamins so if y'all say it's healthy i'm i'm out here it's one of those things where some people say like oh vitamins don't do

anything for you but those people are never athletes. The people that are athletes, they all take vitamins. Because you really do feel it over a long period of time. You need something. And I take something called Athletic Greens, which is a simple powder, a super greens powder that I mix in a bottle of water. And it's filled with vitamins and nutrients. And I also take quercetin and vitamin C and vitamin D. What is that?

What is Shilajit? Shilajit? I read about it online. I think, like, Bruce Lee used to take it or something like that. And it, I don't know, but I read that Bruce Lee used to take it. And it, like, it basically does this stuff. How do you spell it? Oh, Sh's Sheila G.

S-H-I-L-I-G-J-I-T or something like that. Really? Sheila G. Sheila G. That shit is great. I never ever know what these pills are doing, but I do feel sharper when I take them. Really? I'd rather take pills.

feel sharper when i take them really i'd rather take pills i'd rather take like healthy or thing like healthy pills and shit like that not know like the effects but just know that it's you get what i'm trying to say like like um i know you're saying yeah yeah it's not instantaneous results with vitamins but if you are consistent and you take them over long periods of time you will have better health it's just how it is yeah so i mean that i mean that's why i mean that's why i take them you know like it's not drugs you know it's not like yeah no listen vitamins are this the the your body has a whole system right your your biological system requires a bunch of different nutrients for it to function that's optimal level and most people are not getting all of those nutrients from food yeah yeah I'd be so hard to get it from food you

should eat healthy you should get most of it from food but you should also get as much as you can from supplements to optimize all your levels so fish oil is a must for me um vitamin d d3 is a must for me uh you know zinc magnesium all these different minerals and nutrients and he he here's what i'm um here's what i'm still trying to figure out about uh about vitamins it's like okay like i i got i got i got a medicine cabinet full of you know of good shit or whatever. But do I take two at a time or do I take them all together? We definitely have to take them with food. Almost everything, vitamin-wise, needs to be absorbed with fat. So most vitamins, most of them.

Do you take all your vitamins together or do you do them two at a time? I take vitamins twice a day and I take them with my meals. And I usually only eat twice a day. I usually have a morning workout and then I eat around 11 o'clock and then around then is when I have my vitamins with my food and then I have it at night

again. I have a different pack of vitamins that I take at night. How long do you work out? How long are your sessions? Depends on what I'm doing. If I'm doing hard cardio it's never more than an hour. But if I doing like weight lifting i like to do it long and i like to give myself a lot of time in between sets there's a do you know who pavel pavel tatsulin is he's a russian kettlebell instructor he brought kettlebells over here to america okay they call him like the godfather of russian kettlebells but uh he America. They call him like the godfather of Russian kettlebells.

But he has this principle that the idea behind it, they call it greasing the groove. And the idea behind it is one of the best ways to develop strength is not to work to failure with each set. Like say, let's look at it this way. Say if you want to do a clean and a press, right? And if you do this with, say, 70 pounds. And if you do it with 70 pounds and you you can do 15 instead of doing 15 presses that's like your max when you get to 15 you're like yeah instead of doing that do with eight just do it like half somewhere around half

and that way you do it easy so it's easy to do and then let it sit and then take a long time in between sets okay and then do another one and then take a long time in between sets Okay, then do another one and do another one do another one do another one But give yourself like ten minutes in between sets and the idea is that you let your muscles fully recover And then you do more work that way So because your muscles fully recover if you just did Say if you only gave yourself like a lot of people go they want to go real hard like you want to work hard like a lot of people i want to push myself which is great if you want to do endurance but even then you got to do it intelligently but when you're lifting weights

you will do less work if you push too hard now granted some people don't have the time to work out this way like you need a good solid block of time if you want to do it this way but what his proposal is the most important thing is the amount of repetitions that you do with a weight it's not how many do in a row so if you could only do say 10 10 repetitions don't do 10 do 5 and then back off when you're fine like you you could keep going, but you stop at five. Let it sit a long time for 10 minutes, whatever, and then do another five. Let it sit, do another 10 minutes, do another five. And this way, you're going to get a lot of repetitions in.

So you might get 20, 30 repetitions in. Whereas if you just wanted to go straight in a row, you would do 10, and then you would do eight, and then you would do five, and then you would be burnt out. Your arms would be killing you. This way, you're doing it slow over a long period of time, but you're actually getting in more repetitions. And you're not getting as sore in between sets. You're not getting as beat up. And then your body is able to recover from this more easily. And then your body is able to recover from this more easily. And by doing it that way, and he even would recommend maybe do a couple sets in the morning and then a couple sets in the evening. The idea is that like farmer strength.

Farmers are always like chucking hay barrels and shit. But farmers don't work to exhaustion. They don't ever work to failure. They don't ever pick up so many bales of hay they can't pick up another bale of hay yeah they work all throughout the day and they develop this ridiculous strength because of that yeah see i don't um i don't um i don't like bench press like i don't i don't lift like i do i do like a lot of free weights like a lot of like like um like a lot of like uh dumbbells and shit like that but not like the motherfuckers be like five pounds and shit,

but I'd be like, you know, I like do this shit like maybe for like three minutes or some shit like that. And I do little shit like that, but I don't go big because I don't want to be big. I like being like slim and lean, but like, you know. Move fast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I do fucking weird i do a lot of core workout too um but that um i work with the it's like a bar or whatever you

know how you like hang on a bar to like stretch your muscles and shit like that i do i do a lot of that and then i like turn like my legs and shit like that. Oh, okay. I do like a lot of like- Like those bar stars type shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw. Those guys are the most jacked. Yeah. Except their legs. They always have these little skinny ass legs

because they're not really lifting weights. Bro, I just started working on my legs. Did you see those bar stars guys? They all have ridiculous shoulders and traps and arms and thighs and then toothpicks and sweatpants. Legs are like a compass and those dudes are always wearing sweatpants and it makes it easier to stick your legs straight up in the air while you're doing chin-ups because your legs don't wear anything yeah see i do the

weight vest oh look at you look at you you're right i do with the timbs on in the way in the weights you wear timbs in the weight room i like it and those are ankle weights too oh nice oh that's a great way to work out yeah and it's phenomenal so it makes your foot work like um like it helps with footwork and shit fuck yeah do you have a trainer do you work with it no i go in there and just make shit up like you should you should talk to somebody like or you don't even have to talk to somebody but just do some research just do some youtube videos and shit like that there's you almost like you don't need a trainer but it's a great tool but you can get a lot of information just off for free off of youtube yeah all kinds of different workouts but you just want to make sure you don't hurt yourself like

don't you don't see now see this now you just said something interesting right you see this one yeah right okay so so that right bro i was doing that shit with a uh with a 45 and i uh and i went too hard and i and i pulled something i did a thing yeah yeah it's i'm 100 again but like i pulled some shit i went to like i, I was like, what is it? What is it? Is the meat out? I was like, is it? Is the meat out? Tell me something, doc. And they were like, oh, no, you just pulled up.

Well, if you work out hard, you could hurt yourself no matter what. Yeah, but you know what? I needed that because then I had to take time off the gym. I was like, yeah, bro, get out of the gym. Yeah, but I see what you're doing there, and that works. That's like the same thing people do with kettlebells or uh with uh not kettlebells rather uh medicine balls where they're like slamming them against the wall and slamming them this way against the wall yeah or you know you're

seeing that one with the rope that has the ball at the end of it and they stand by a wall and they do this boom oh yeah yeah bro you know which one looks crazy and I'm like, I'm still afraid of it is the ropes like this. Oh, yeah. Those are easy. Is it? Yeah. Yeah. They're good.

They're good. You can't be afraid of those. What the fuck are you doing? Battle ropes? What are you doing? Hold on. I'm working on my footwork. I'm working on my footwork because those are ankle weights.

What are you doing, Jamar? Hey, look. Oh, my God. You're going to hurt yourself with ankle weights on doing backflips? I got to be able to do this shit on stage. I got to be able to move on stage. How did you learn how to do backflips like that? I was a ghetto-ass kid from Compton.

So no one taught you how to do it? You just figured it out yourself? Yeah, I used to watch my big cousin Sean do them, and then I used to try to be like him, and he kind of taught me how to do it. The thing about backflips is if you fucking miss. No, what I'm afraid to do still is the fucking uh is a front flip oh like i've never been i've never been like i did crazy shit and i and and people

and joe people think that i people think that i'm like i'm just playing but i am drop dead serious but it's great for your footwork though if you have those ankle weights on your body gets used to that and that's all i'm fucking working on too it's like i'm an aquarius so it may be a little unorthodox oh i'm an aquarius that's hilarious but yeah man i'd be like drop dead serious i don't fucking know joe i just try to stay in shape i get it i get it listen you have the motivation that's it i'll be trying to have fun at the same get it. I get it. Listen, you have the motivation. That's it. I'll be trying to have fun at the same time, though, too. Like, so, I don't fucking know.

Well, if you come out here, you can just work out at the haunted gym. Well, I mean. It's right down the street. Damn it, Joe. Damn it. You know I'm coming. I know you're coming. We got to get everybody out here.

Yeah, man. One of the things that I thought of when I moved here i was like i i need to make a place where everybody's going to want to come out here because i don't think we need to be in la we're in la because we all thought we had to be in la well it my i'm from la born and raised my family and shit's out there so i'm like i've never had to leave my family like and so that's different there's a crazy ass um thing there, but I can leave. My folks just moved here. Really?

Yeah, they just moved here. Fuck, man. Did they move here because of you? Yeah. Well, they didn't move here by accident. Oh, I'm trying to make everybody move here, man. All my friends. No, I ain't mad at it.

I'm here for a reason you know yeah and one of my big missions here is stand-up yeah i want to i want to make sure that stand-up has a like a real like a gets real again well it just has a a real a place where it's safe yeah like stand-up is protected yeah you know we need to be protected like one of the things you realize with covid when all these comedy clubs started going under and all this shit started happening no one could perform anywhere like a lot of comics that have potential especially young people that are just starting out yeah they're gonna drop off the map and they might not ever do it i mean i think about like what would happen to me if i was like six months

into comedy and then covet hit and then there was a whole year where i couldn't do stand-up yeah i might have fallen off yeah i might have gotten a job i might have gotten a girl pregnant and had a baby and then couldn't do the road and you know i was 21 stupid who knows what i would have done i may be but join the fucking marines who knows those fucking thoughts ran through my head when covid hit dude and i'm like yeah in his pits well in the beginning days right i think we can all agree this to this you don't know if you're ever going to make it and in the beginning days you're like it's very volatile it's very dangerous like it could all fall apart on you at any moment when'd you when'd you come to la 1994 oh how long were you doing comedy six years oh okay

yeah i was already on sitcom i just got i got so lucky oh okay i'm the luckiest bitch that's ever lived i've always been so lucky really yeah but so i'm so fucking lucky hmm that's fucking dope man yeah i feel like something i must have dumped some shit in another life yeah i must have been a good boy. It's so funny because it's like when we talk about like, I don't know if I was going to make it and shit. It's like I forgot. At a point in time, I forgot about making it. I was just out there just because I had some crazy shit to say.

Yeah. And next thing you know, you're doing all right. I know, right, right, right. But I think if for me, like, out of sight, out of mind, like, if I just got to be like, if I don't think about it, like, that's when I'm like the best, you know, like, I'm like. Right, right, right. Yeah. Like, it'll stress me the fuck out.

Yeah, yeah. Like, it'll stress me the fuck out if I'm over here. Like, fuck, man, when am I gonna, you know, like back in the day, it was like at the end, like you'll get a set, like me at the improv, like trying to get fucking shows.

Well, that's the thing is like, if you think about it too much, then it gets in the way of your flow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Like I, and I was, um, yeah. And I'm, I was like a chronic, like overthinker. And I think that's what, I think that's one of the reasons why, like, like early in, yeah and i'm i was like a chronic like overthinker and i think that's

what i think that's one of the reasons why like like early in like earlier in the years like i would like you know like kind of like like struggle kind of sort of not not like comedically i was just like over i was just like overthinker and shit like that but after a while i was like man fuck this shit i was like i can't function like this. Listen, I'm just going to have to do this. Yeah. You know. Give me that mullet. Well, that's one of the good things about things like, like, like imagine if you got like a clean sitcom two years into your comedy. Imagine.

What's that like? Imagine like CBS came along and said, Jamar, you are the perfect look to be the neighbor in this new sitcom with these two gals. And you're going to be their friend. But you've got to be clean. They told Tim Allen to stop doing stand-up when he was doing Home Improvement. Really? They told him to stop.

I need to ask him if that's true. I'm just here spreading propaganda. I'm pretty sure it's true. Yeah. Because he stopped doing stand-up for a long fucking time. And I believe I read in an article that he was told to stop doing stand-up because his stand-up was too controversial, which is hilarious. Right, right, right.

Tim Allen. You see what Bob Saget does? Yes. Yes. Yeah, I'm like, that shit is gnarly. Yes. Yes. Another case, right?

Yeah. He's on that show. Stuff like that used to scare me, too, you know i i'm not i'm not the cleanest dude i you know so i'm like i was like damn man i was like well listen that grandmother smelly pussy joke could be cleaned up you can figure out a way to do that the right way just say vagina imagine if the cbs executive jamar we need to talk to you about this uh grandmother smelly pussy grades bit you're doing um is there a way we can clean that up so i yeah i used to always think about that shit so like when people like would give

me opportunity and stuff i was like you sure like have you have you seen this shit i do and stuff like that like that shit don't matter like they want you they just want like they just want you or whatever but they don't want you to do that joke you know like yeah so i had to get past that like well you know what it is in the beginning they can say that see once you get to a point where you know if you're dave chappelle or something like that he could do whatever the fuck he wants yeah but if he if he wasn't dave chappelle like if dave chappelle wasn't famous and he tried to do most of the jokes that he's doing right now there would be some people that would tell him hey you know that

joke you've gotta you gotta get rid of that joke yeah that joke you gotta stop saying but once you become established you can kind of do whatever you want as long as it's good but it's like the grandma stinky pussy joke it's like when you're when you're like a year in or two years into comedy yeah it's a tough joke to pull off but when you're 15 years in like everybody already knows you're saying wild shit i get jamar i can see you saying that right now on stage and people falling out of their chairs laughing yeah i can see it you know what i'm saying it's like i think i found my closer my new closer yeah but it's one of those things it's like you just you just you need to leave people alone that's what i mean you could come up to a comic and say, hey, man, that bit's not popping because people think it's too mean or maybe figure out a way to restructure it.

We all give each other advice. Comics give each other pointers and tips. And I know that there's bits that I've done that just didn't work right. I'm like, God, why is that bit not working right? Because it needs to be restructured. Yeah. And sometimes – didn't work right. I'm like, God, why is that bit not working right? Because it needs to be restructured. Yeah. You know, and sometimes... And people act like...

And again, I'm not like all dirty and shit. But people act like I would do that on The Tonight Show or some shit. I'm like, yo, if you give me free reign, I'm going to say anything I want to do. I mean, I'm going to say anything I want to say. If you tell me to, you know...

Well, if The Tonight Show was smart, they would allow that shit bro people start paying attention thank you yo you said it like those ratings on those shows are atrocious it's so sad because they're so hampered by that system of like super clean here comes a guest i don't give a fuck about. I'm going to ask them questions about their new sitcom or their new movie or their new album, and I don't really care. And then the band's going to play, and we'll be right back. We'll be right back. Look at this guy.

He's got a trained parrot. This is crazy. That is kind of interesting. And then they have commercials, and as long as they don't offend anybody and they keep eyeballs on them, they keep going. But really what they're doing is they're dancing enough for you to pay attention to the commercials.

That's most of what that show is. Yeah. And they interrupt it all the time. When you're doing a sitcom, you have these breaks where you've got to prepare for commercials. They're set up for commercials these shows like whether it's the tonight show or the late night with colbert they're

set up for commercials yeah you can't swear you can't talk crazy you can't do anything wild you got a bunch of executives or mortgages are riding on your show jamar slow down yeah jamar i just bought a new home yeah yeah hancock, yeah. In Hancock Park. And I can't have you on here talking crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jamar, my grandmother pussy joke cost me my home. My home. Well, it's not the bar.

Where are my children going to go to school, Jamar? Because I can't pay for private school anymore because of your grandmother's pussy joke. I was thinking pussy. That's really what happens. Yeah. pussy pussy that's really what happens yeah there's a bunch of people that they they they they hitch up their fucking caboose to to your cart yeah like fuck yeah and and i mean and i would think that like you would get the best i mean you want the best out of the comics and stuff or or the other performers and stuff like that and then so so you would you want these motherfuckers

to be free enough to you know yeah do their shit like that i mean not saying that i wouldn't do those not saying i wouldn't do those shows because like you gotta if you if you want to if i have to play that game then i'm gonna i'm gonna play it and shit like that but if you want the best out of me it's like daddy gotta do what daddy gotta do yeah why you're a nightclub comic I've been trying to get these niggas to let me play a dinosaur for years, Joe. Like, for years. Jurassic Park? No.

It's a half-human, half-dinosaur. His name is Dino Stampernopoulos, and I've been trying to get these niggas to let me play him for years. You got a character that you got? Who are you trying to get you to play this? I was trying to get Adult Swim. Oh, no. to get you to play this. I was trying to get adult swimming. Oh no! You know you have a fucking

video on Instagram? Hold on. Episode 3? What? Oh, you're so ridiculous. I've been trying to get these niggas to let me do this shit for years. What the fuck is this? This is Dino's

birthday party. Oh my my god this is so hilarious it's a half man half dinosaur what how long you been doing this bro i've been doing this character for about like five or probably like six years and so it's his birthday so the homie bring him a cake oh my god this is hilarious that's the homie bring him a cake. Oh, my God. This is hilarious. That's the homie Nate. Oh, my God. And who are the girls? That's not even real. No, no.

That's a gif. Oh, it's a gif. So it's a green screen. Oh, my God. That's hilarious. Because I'm looking at these girls dancing. I'm like, this is so odd. So he got to blow out the candles.

It's stupid. Is it dinosaurs that blow out the candles with fire? Oh, that's hilarious. What blow out the candles with fire? Oh, that's hilarious. What made you come up with this? Were you high? No, bro. No, I took a clown class and then I... Wait, wait, wait.

Oh, fuck. You took a clown class? Bro, like, yeah, so I took a clown class and we had to do, like, certain characters and stuff like that. We had to come up with characters. When did you take a clown class? Shit. You going to check your phone? This is 2000.

What, the other day? I hadn't taken one. Oh, that's my Joker. Oh, you have a Joker character? Oh, no. My black Joker. I was like, they need a black Joker. But I took a clown class probably about uh maybe like three years ago

and um and so we had to come up with um so we had to come up with a character and stuff like that so i had um i had like uh i had came up with a version well i had already been doing this dinosaur character but i started adding wings and little shit to it you had already been doing the dinosaur character yeah yeah they're like earlier versions of that thing where he was wearing green. What's the birth of the dinosaur character? Okay, so me and my friend Jeffrey, we always improv together. And then so one day we were writing something, and I was like, fuck this shit, man. I said, man, let's go downstairs and just shoot some sketches.

And then so he was like, all right. And I was like, yo. I said, I'm gonna grab these green tights right here and I'm gonna grab this tail. Don't ask me why I had this shit already in my apartment. But,

and then I'm gonna play a dinosaur and then you gonna play a dude who's stopping and frisking this black ass dinosaur. Right. And then, and then so, so we were just like,

it just came through like play, you know, and. How much of that do you do? Like clown classes and shit like that? Just fucking around. Oh, that's me. Like, I've been doing that shit for years. Like, I've actually been doing improv longer than I've been doing stand-up, but only by

a year. I ain't gonna say like, oh. But like, you know, that'd be my bag, you know? Just to be creative? Yeah. Just to be silly? Yeah. Just to be silly? Yeah. Just try to come up with characters?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just for the love of it. That's why the wave pops up. What is this? So he's trying to go back in time? He's trying to go back in time to meet his biological parents. Dino Stampinopoulos, episode one. And it says in parentheses, there's eight of these.

In this episode, Dino's go back in time to meet his biological parents. Thank you for making these fun. Oh, my God. You show up. Who did all this special effects and shit? Dave Kirsch. And then so Dino has a malfunction where he now looks like this. Oh, no.

That's my friend Jeffrey Bollinger. So anyway, I made those props. I made that time machine out of a cardboard box. That's my friend Jeffrey Bollinger. So anyway, I made those props. I made that time machine out of a cardboard box. That's his mom. That's Dino's mom. That's my friend Eureka. Oh, this is so ridiculous. Dino's dad with a stupid hat on.

Oh, my God. Dino's dad has a suit on. Yeah. So this is just like some silly shit that you just decided to just yeah

wow yeah dude I've been doing shit like that for like years bro just for fun yeah and that's why I like the wave

that's what made the wave fun like we would do shit like that all the time I remember I had those green tights back when Dino was green and Kevin Hart he was he was one of the judges. And I came out, like, somebody hit a joke, and I came out,

and I was up there like, ah! And then he was like, what did y'all tell the black dude he had to do every time somebody hit a joke or whatever? So, like, they're like, it's fucking ridiculous. You don't have to tell Jamar shit. Hell, you're not telling me shit. I're like, it's fucking ridiculous. You don't have to tell Jermar shit. Hell, you're not telling me shit. I'm like, that's my Tuesday. I'm like,

that's my Tuesday and a Bang Energy drink and I'm on. So, tell me about clown school. How did this happen? So, truth be told, like, I didn't know how to, like,

if you want to know, like, origin, origin, origin, I didn't know how to start doing stand-up. I've been wanting to do stand-up since I was a kid, but I didn't know how to. Wait a minute, you started when you were 17. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I didn't know how to start doing stand-up i've been wanting to do stand-up when i was a kid but i didn't know how to you started when you were 17 yeah yeah yeah but i didn't know how to start like um let me see it's so many like stories right so i did i did it once when i was um when

i was 16 i um i did this stand-up comedy competition uh for bet called like coming to the stage it was just an audition because i just wanted to feel how stand-up felt or whatever. And I was like, okay, I'll do this. How long had you been thinking about doing it before you did it? I was a kid. I was young. I remember doing stand-up when I was 10 in my classroom. Yeah.

Yeah, because I didn't have a toy to share. It was for share day. And I didn't have a toy to share for share day. And you got two minutes. So I was at the like, I'm just going to do some standup, right? And I've been watching Comic View and all this stuff. And so I get up there in front of like this glass

and I was at the like, yeah, man. My grandma's pussy is so sticky. At this time, my grandma's pussy was so hairy. And because she was younger younger so the funk hadn't hadn't hit like that yet and then so uh but my friend was like yo how you gonna start doing stand-up I was like I don't know man maybe I'll start doing like some clown stuff or something like that I was like maybe like 15 I was like maybe I'll start doing like some clown stuff or something oh yeah and I heard about like a clown school in san francisco and i was like oh yeah maybe i'll do that and then that didn't happen and a friend

was like why don't you just go to like an open mic or something like that i was like oh is that how you get started and i was like all right then maybe i'll do that but like fast forward i had a lot of time on my hands uh back in 2018 i wasn't doing shit and i was at the like man i was like nigga you should take a class i was like you're already in the wave you already does like just go take a class whatever so i took a clown class and uh it's called the clown school i'm like on their website and shit i'm like the only nigga i'm like the only black like on their website and shit and uh i just started doing it in 2018 and um it you know what's so fun about that is that like if you didn't know what made you funny

as a person or whatever like they help you find like your inner clown you know you know i'm saying like everybody has an inner clown and stuff like what's first day of clown school like so so i i remember i remember this uh i remember this assignment first of all i walked in there with some doc martins on right i they? They were maroon Doc Martens. They look like clown shoes, but they were maroon Doc Martens. And the clown teacher was like, hey, take those off. And I was like, why? He was like, just take them off.

And then it dawned on me. I was like, oh, that's probably disrespecting clown because he probably thought that that's what I thought a clown was, whatever, people who wear shoes like this because doc martin's do kind of look like you know clown shoes if you whatever and then so uh did he explain no but i i i i don't know me i was like that's probably why you really think you thought it was disrespectful to clown to the whole art of clown or whatever he was was like, oh, you think clowns just wear big shoes and get out of small cars? That'd be a funny sketch, dude. A guy who teaches clown classes,

but he's like really sensitive about the art of being a clown. And he's a purist, is a clown purist. Yeah. What do you got, a rubber nose on? Get that fucking nose off. So it's so fucking funny, right? I remember the first assignment though was uh hey come through this door 10 funny ways and i was like i was like oh that sounds funny so

i mean so that sounds fun so i would just come and i would do like a physical act or whatever but i would do it 10 funny ways i would come in as a robot and i would come in as a did you ever come through naked you should take that class and then you should do that what up now but you know what they don't limit shit like that though like if you wanted to do some shit like that because they want you to be free oh got it yeah so i remember i remember assignment, come through this door 10 funny ways. What did you do? So I came in like crawling and shit like that. And then I came in like retarded and shit like that. I came in spinning like this or whatever.

And I remember I like hopped backward like a kangaroo and shit like that. And it was a bunch of shit like that what did other people what were they like what were the other people in the class like some motherfuckers in there were good like really because because the thing about clown is like is that they they say like the the wrong answers are what's funny so you know like if you come in if you come in if you come in or whatever and you accidentally trip and shit like that, like it was an accident, that's what the clown is. The clowns are the mistakes and stuff like that. You know, the red nose is actually just puts you in the spirit of being a clown and being silly.

But the maroon Doc Martens don't? Exactly. Exactly. You know what that's like? That's like a bad stand-up coach giving you advice on stand-up. That has happened to a lot of people. Bro. Taking stand-up classes from people that aren't even good comics.

You've taken stand-up classes before? No, I never have. But I took acting classes from someone who was a terrible actor. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, man, I get more work than this dude. Like, why? Well, I had to take them. It was part of my deal.

I had never taken any acting classes before and i had a sitcom deal yeah and i had to take acting classes so i took acting classes and as i was taking acting classes i was realizing the person teaching me was terrible terrible like i was more i was better at pretending to be real than this person was yeah what made them like what made they were so fake jamar there was nothing about them that made sense the way they talked just didn't seem real you know that shit yeah you know some people can some people you could take an athlete right a baseball player who's never acted in their life and they just know how to be real and they'll

memorize that shit and they could pull it off as good as any fucking actor there's people out there with talent they just don't even know it yeah acting is a weird talent like you got your denzel washington you got your daniel day lewis you got your there's levels right there's christian bales there's levels to acting but then just regular acting that a lot of people do there's a lot of people out there that can act. A lot that can do that regular shit. I had this epiphany maybe like two years ago where I was like, man, I was watching a commercial. I was looking at commercial actors and stuff like that. But at the end of the day, they're actors.

And I was just looking at it and I was like, damn, isn't it crazy how that guy is in the same profession as Denzel Washington? Right. Him and Denzel Washington do the same thing. They have the same job. Yeah. Yeah. But that's how it is with every profession, right? I mean, that's how it is with people who make steak.

You know, there's chefs who they make a steak and you eat it and you're like, God damn. And then there's a dude at denny's who cooks steak yeah you get your steak and eggs at denny's like damn all right it's food it's food i'm hungry you eat it but there's something about acting that you know it's so hard to get a job to be an actor that we assume that p you know how many times have athletes there's been a bunch of times where athletes have, like, what was the fucking Adam Sandler movie? What is it? Gems? What is it?

Hidden Gems. Uncut Gems. Uncut Gems. And Kevin Garnett's in it. And Kevin Garnett is excellent in it. Really? Yes. Excellent.

You would think he's a fucking actor and he's not he's a great basketball player i mean there's there's many instances of things like that i mean i can think of i bet if i just had time to go over and do like a google search actors athletes who have acted in films there's a lot of of them, man. They can do it. Who do you think is the best athlete that's an actor? The biggest one right now. Who? The Rock. The Rock.

Oh, yeah. But it's not. Yeah, kind of. Pro wrestling is so entertainment oriented, though. He didn't play pro football, but he got close. Right, yeah. But he was so... Arnold Schwarzenegger?

Sort of. I mean, I guess he was pro sport, I guess. What did he play? Oh, he was a bodybuilder. But shit like that, I don't count that. Like Terry Crews played for the Rams or some shit. Oh yeah, Terry Crews is another great example. There's a lot of them.

People who have figured out how to act. But have they figured out how to act like robert de niro you know what i mean like there's levels there's levels there's levels like especially robert de niro before he was just cashing checks you go back to like cape fear robert de niro you know like goodfellas robert de niro yeah like there's levels there's levels i guess there's levels of clowns too goddamn right god i. Like, there's levels. There's levels. And I guess there's levels to clowns, too. Goddamn right. I'm level, too.

But there's levels to poetry. Like, I was reading, I was listening to some poetry being read the other day and just cringing. I had to shut it off. I was like, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Some people, they read poetry and it's just like, ugh. It's just goofy. It's transparent. It's just goofy. It's transparent.

It doesn't work. But then occasionally you'll stumble upon some woman who's reading poetry and you're like, oh, shit. Like, this resonates. This is real. And I don't know why. Poetry is one of the easiest things to make cringy. Hell yeah.

The easiest. Yep. I used to go to poetry lounges all the fucking time and and you it's it's such like in comedy you see some bad comedy you'd be like man it's like a trash you know i'm saying like you can express that you know i'm saying you can't do that shit like this bitch is talking about her grandma in a very terrible fucking uh clunky very green way yeah green green's a good way to put it yeah like it but you can't boo that i went to a poetry slam once with brian callen in venice he's like you gotta come see this

i go what is it he's like there's a poetry reading near my house i'm like oh my god i'm there yeah it was so bad yeah it was so bad and and then and then sometimes people would snap their fingers when they like things they would like it they wouldn't clap they would snap their fingers it was so clunky joe i remember one time i went to uh he was gonna trip you up i went to uh i went to a poetry lounge and i was dressed as a uh i was dressed as a as a baby what were you wearing a diaper bro i was wearing uh uh it's a blue it's a blue bonnet it's a or like those uh baby caps or whatever i had on a bib i had on a diaper and uh and it was called the character was called crack baby from compton because i swear to god and i went

up there and i went up there and i was like um and i had a wagon i had a wagon and the wagon had and the wagon had toys and i got the picture up on my motherfucking page find it wait a minute jamie's on it jamie's on it how far how long ago is this about 2000 about 2018 and it's called crack baby Compton. I'm holding like this. And anyway, so I went up there. But they thought that I was about to go be deep and talk about my mother and how she. And I was up there. I was telling jokes as the crack baby.

That would be a great way to do it. Like talking about your mother. And guess what? And when I was doing that shit. And when I was doing that shit, I was telling jokes and stuff instead of doing poetry whatever but i was at a poetry lounge somebody heckled me yeah somebody heckled me because i because i uh i had a joke i had a joke i was like i was like i can't even do the voice right now but i was like knock knock and then somebody was up there like uh somebody was up there like, bye, nigga. Instead of who's there, there was a thing, bye, nigga. And I was up there like, ah.

Nigga, your mama. Right. I went back into my, like, how you going to heckle a nigga doing a crack baby from Comfort? That's a baby. How rude. Well, they're probably upset that you weren't taken seriously. This is poetry. I thought it was poetic.

I mean, who else would come up here? Like, actually, I felt like I was more vulnerable than them. I was it was poetic. I mean, who else would come up here? Like, actually, I felt like I was more vulnerable than him. I was the one naked. Yes. Isn't it funny, though, that people... There's a thing that people do with comedy, too, where they get upset about what happens before them. And that was one of the things you would get with prima donnas.

They would get upset if someone was dirty before them. You know, like, I don't want that guy going on before me. He's too dirty. He talks about this. There's you. That was basically the character, but... Is there other pictures? 2018 is probably in...

Jamie's furiously scrolling. He's going to find one on Twitter, but his Twitter account got suspended. You got suspended on Twitter? So. First of all, fuck Twitter. I love Twitter, but fuck them. Because, all right bro i had like i just i

had just got like a gang of fucking followers okay this is what the fuck this is what the fuck i did and this is why they canceled me i was i was i was verified on my original one and uh so i was doing the i was doing the profile switch where i um so i changed my profile to donald trump's profile picture right and i would change like profile to Donald Trump's profile picture. Right. And I would change like all of that. And then so when I tweeted it looked like Donald Trump was tweeting. Right. And then so I was tweeting shit like I'm in the mood for a

mozzarella hot dog with bacon on it. Right. And then all these people were like, this is your fucking president because people thought that it was really him. I would tweet I would tweet shit i would tweet you like uh and so this is so i tweeted no i tweeted this during the election it was during the election when like i could probably sway votes and shit like you know like with this verified account

and i tweeted if i lose this election i'm gonna go live in a train car in london you know and then that's it and then the next time I tried to tweet, my shit was suspended. That's it? Yeah, and they show porn on Twitter. They show anal porn. They show girls taking it right in the ass. They show ass to mouth. They show everything. But you can't act

like the president. But that's ridiculous. If you look at the actual account, how stupid are people? It's like, my name was right next to it. It says Jamar Nimbus. Why do you think that's really the president? And they canceled the shit out of my shit. That's so crazy.

That doesn't make any sense at all. They said I violated the rules. Oh, come on. You're a comedian. That's parody. That's fun. Dude, we live in a weird time, man. Are you paying attention to all the stock market shit with GameStop?

So I heard a little bit about it. We covered it a little bit yesterday. My friend Sagar and Jetty from Rising the Hill, he covered it and we played some of his shit. What basically is going on is these people who are speculators on Wall Street, they short stocks, meaning they are gambling that a stock is going to lose value. And so then these Redditors, these smart dudes on Reddit are like, you know what? Fuck these people.

Let's just buy a bunch of this stock and jack that price up. And so they all got together, thousands of them, and they bought a shitload of that stock, and the price went fucking flying. Like, went way up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so then all the hedge fund people that were gambling on it losing money they lost billions of dollars like instantly and wall street started panicking and so then they realized these redditors realized they can do this so they started doing with other stocks like movie

theater stocks and then and so then this app called robin hood which is an app which which is robin hood is supposed to be steal from the rich, give to the poor. That's the story of Robinhood. Instead, they are protecting all these hedge fund people by stopping people from doing this. So they're stopping all the sale of these stocks that these Redditors all get excited about. So these people, even if they buy the stock, now they can't sell it. Or now they, is that what it is? Or they can't buy it? They can't stock, now they can't sell it. Or now they, is that what it is? Or they can't buy it?

They can't buy it. They can't buy it anymore. They can sell it, but they can't buy it. So they've essentially tried to do what they can to stop this scam. And everyone is mad at them. But meanwhile, that's a legit criticism. Here it is. Google salvaged Robinhood's one-star rating by deleting nearly 100,000 negative reviews. Unhappy users have been review-bombing the app.

So that's what's going on. What basically is happening, Jamar, is that all these people forever have been manipulating the stock market and making a shitload of money doing it. Hedge funds. All these billionaire Wall Street people. Now, regular folks on Reddit are starting to do the exact same thing, and they're making millions of dollars, millions of dollars in the apps with stocks, and they're trying to figure out a way to stop these people from doing this, because they don't want them to

be able to do it. They want Wall Street to be able to do it. Normal people are... Yeah. Normal people are being penalized for figuring out a new way to hack the system that Wall Street has been manipulating forever. I need to tell my... Is that accurate? What I said, is that an accurate way of describing it? Basically.

That's a very good, simple way to describe it, yeah. There's more levels to it. Sagar did a much better job of it. You can go to their YouTube page, Crystal Ball and Sagar did a much better job of it. You can go to their YouTube page, Crystal Ball and Sagar and Jetty. It's called Rising the Hill. It's my favorite political talk show because there's

a person, Sagar's on the right and Crystal's on the left, but they're both honest and objective and they discuss how fucked up this is and how crazy it is. It's gone on. It's still going on today? Yeah, so after yesterday, it went on through the stock market.

Because the shutdown happened, I think people's attention was like, well, if they're going to do that to us, let's take it over to the crypto market. And so now the Dogecoin, which started as a complete joke, has skyrocketed to not a joke anymore. It hit an all-time high of almost $0.10 yesterday, but it was so minuscule, you wouldn't have understood why you have millions of shares in this. has like skyrocketed to not a joke anymore it hit an all-time high of almost 10 cents yesterday but it was so minuscule you wouldn't have understood why you have millions of shares didn't elon tweet that too so elon has been adding to this like he'll tweet something and it'll make something

spike he like bitcoin to his info i think his bio and also that gentleman who's running for governor of california how do you say i don't know if he's actually running for because i saw him get asked that he's like is this real he was like well technically you know recall his name again? I don't know if he's actually running for, because I saw him get asked that. He's like, is this real? And he's like, well, technically, you know, recall Gavin Newsom. I don't think he's officially, he's not filed paperwork or anything. He's having fun. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, he's having fun, but he tweeted about it too. He's an exec,

he was with Google or with Facebook? Google. But did he have anything to do with Facebook ever? Probably. Find out if he did, because I'm reading Matt Ta taibi's book um yes earlier at facebook maybe not google maybe it was facebook then i'm sorry instead of google correct okay but he's basically explaining in one of his tweets recently pull that up because he was comparing robin hood to facebook and he's saying that they pretend that you're a customer, but you're not a customer.

In fact, you're the client. And what you are is you're the product. And they pretend that they're doing you service. But what they're really doing is they're taking all of your data, and they're selling it, and they're getting rich. And they're not giving you any of that money. And that's the same thing with Robinhood. It's the same sort of scenario. He laid it out in his Twitter. But it's a situation where once this genie's out of the bottle, where these regular people have figured out how to manipulate stock markets, and truth be told, I don't know jack shit about stock markets.

I don't know anything. I literally barely pay attention. But they have figured out how to manipulate it. And once they've figured out how to manipulate it and once they figured out how to do this they can keep doing this they unless i don't know how they're gonna stop it i have no idea how you're gonna stop reddit how are you gonna stop these intelligent fucking people with plenty of time i mean so they're organizing i mean so can like um like like but you'd have to know how to actually do it. Because I was over here like, maybe I should call my brother and tell him he should get in on this.

But it's like a Ponzi scheme. It's like a pump and dump, right? The idea is, like, you get in early, and then it gets to a certain point. You got to realize, like, okay, it's time to get out. It's time to get out. Like, if you buy it $1, and then it gets to $30, and then you're like're like shit this is this might crash soon get out now i don't know what the number would be i'm just saying it i think that's what a lot of people think but the understanding i have of the this game stop situation is what makes it a little different is that short squeeze situation is where

there's contracts which i think it just happened because the market just closed because those contracts exist someone has to buy that contract at the end of the day when the contract comes to when does the market close four o'clock every day oh four o'clock east coast time just closed yeah half an hour ago that's what this big issue was was these contracts you could tell we're going to close on the 29th which is friday at 4 p.m and when that happens whoever holds that contract has to fill they have to fill the contract so they'll find the shares oh so that's why they they have to fill the contract so they'll find the shares oh so that's why they're trying to drive the price so high people are fucked so we'll see what happens after the next couple days which like after hours trading or something not

something a retail investor gets to do and this has funds do get to do that's what was happening the maybe two days ago they were driving the price down because they have the ability to do that they have abilities that retail investors don't have and that's really the big argument i feel like is going on right now it's like they can do we can't do it's all it's all so weird because the stock market has always been this weird number thing that's based on confidence like you can decide buy sell where is it going where is it going sell it sell sell sell sounds stressful oh my god I had a friend of mine that I used to do Taekwondo with that became a stock market guy, and he was just into Coke and hookers.

And then he got into the stock market. And I ran into him once. This is when I was doing stand-up. I hadn't seen him forever. He's, like, not a guy that you would think of being as a market guy. He was a tank. He was, like, 5'10", 220 5 10 220 big thick fucking neck always partying just a fucking animal i think he was on steroids and i ran into him and he was just doing coke and

drinking yeah and uh telling me he's in the stock market now i was like you're you're a stock you're a stockbroker he's like bro it's fucking fun man i fucking love it man we're selling stocks we're making money like he was an animal like that this dude was I thought of a stock market analyst as being a guy With like a pocket protector Warren Buffett or shit Well back in the day like I thought they had a calculator and a computer and they really knew a lot about the business And they were just really calculated about their investments And then I ran into this wild dude that I knew from my fighting days. I'm like this guy's wild I'm like you this guy's wild.

I'm like, you're a stockbroker? And he was like, dude, that's what we do. How long has he been in it? We're talking about a long time ago. I just ran into him randomly at a comedy club. But he had been doing it for a few years. I always think that I want to get into that. I'm like, oh, man, maybe you should start, like, maybe you should buy some stock.

But then I'm also like, nigga, what are you talking about? You know what stock is. And I'm like, yeah, but I should still buy some, right? You're too busy with clown college. I know, bro. You don't know shit about stocks. How are you going to know what you're investing in? I don't know. So I was like, I had this idea where I was just like, if I ever did invest in anything, it would probably be copper.

Do you think that the stock market's broken now? Why copper? Well, because I figured that copper is in everything, you know? Right? A little bit. It takes copper to make batteries. So people will always buy batteries. That's true.

Is copper in batteries? Right. It's called Duracell, the copper top. Oh. to make batteries so you'll all people will always buy batteries that's true yeah there's copper and batteries right it's called it's called duracell the copper top oh that's how i that's how i make my what about energizers they don't have but in pennies can't be yeah yeah i fucking hate pennies bro i'm not i'm not a fan round that shortage why is it every time you need a penny you can't find a penny well there's been scams where they've rounded, they've stolen like a penny on a dollar on things, and they've made millions of dollars on that. That's what that movie is about with Ben Affleck

and Giovanni Ribisi, I can't think of right now. Right, that's where I heard it. That's right, that's right. And that's a stock market. They have penny stocks. And then the office space thing too. They're like shaving off a tenth of a penny. That's right, yeah. Well, stock market. They had penny stocks. And then the office space thing, too. They were shaving off a tenth of a penny. That's right, yeah.

Well, that was one of Bernie Sanders' ideas. That's one of the things that made me attracted to what he was saying about the ability to raise money to pay off student loan debt and for Medicare for All. The idea was that they were going to take a small amount of each speculation bet on Wall Street. So this same kind of shit that we're talking about with GameStop that fucked over these guys, before that, those speculators, he was going to take a small percentage, less than

one cent off of each individual sale and speculation. And he said he was going to raise trillions of dollars just doing that. And it makes you think, like, oh, wait a minute. Is that possible? That's possible. That sounds like a good way to do it. Like, that is a shitty thing they're doing anyway. Yeah.

If you're not willing to pay a small portion of it, like a percentage of a cent. Yeah. If you took a whole cent, let's say they took one penny off of every speculation you're not willing to pay one cent yeah yeah that is brilliant yeah one cent even one cent would be like i'd be like that's reasonable like if you wanted to buy a house and they're like well we need taxes okay well how much a penny okay yeah yeah okay i'm gonna buy a car well we need taxes how much a penny's going to complain about a penny? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If everything was one penny.

Yeah. One penny in sales tax for everything. Are they getting rid of auto coins? Auto coins? Are they getting rid of all the coins? Oh, all the coins. Like quarters and shit. Isn't that a thing right now?

Are they? That's what I'm saying. There's a coin shortage. There's a shortage? Yeah. Where are they all going? I think it was... Fountains? They couldn't... Fountains. Fountains. Wishing a shortage? Yeah. Where are they all going? I think it was... Fountains?

Fountains are eaten up. The mints closed. You said wishing. I think the mints closed because of COVID and so they couldn't keep making them and so there wasn't enough

going around in circulation. So they're thinking about getting rid of coins? No, no, no. I don't know if they're getting rid of them. I just know that most of the year there's been a shortage.

Like when you go to the places like pay with card only, we don't have cash. Bro, you know what my favorite shit to do is ever because I'm such a dork i like paying for things with apple pay i like going double click look at my face and buy my groceries like yeah i'm in the future i love apple pay i just got into tapping my card i just got into that i'm still yeah i'm still doing the chip, pushing in the chip. I remember when that was new. That was new. Now you can just tap it.

I've never tapped. I've tried. I can never get it to work. I did it at an arcade the other day. An arcade? You go to arcades? What are you playing, Pac-Man? Joe, I was doing the punching machine.

What's your high score? The high score was 900, and I got 808. Yeah. But it was a, yeah. There were some chicks who were with me and shit, and they were hitting that shit. I was like, God damn. I was like, y'all do need us. It's just over here getting 285 and shit.

There's a trick to those punching machines. You got to throw a hook. Oh, that's how I did it. It wasn't a straight. Straight punches. You can get a lot with straight punches, but really what you want to do is stand beside it. That's how I got my 808. Shovel punch.

Yeah, I'm not like a brute. I'm like, I knew what I was doing. my 808 shovel punch yeah yeah i'm not like a brute i'm like i knew what i was doing you know shovel punch that motherfucker yeah those are very addictive though those punching machines dude i swear to god we spent like 15 on that thing dude just just just trying to get our ego up you know dude i broke my knuckle on one once really yeah because you know how they have the leather pad like Like, there's the ball. Yeah. And then there's a leather pad of the metal thing. Yeah.

And I was like, the ball was deflated and they didn't have a pump. So I'm like, let me just punch that metal thing. And I blasted that fucking thing. My knuckle was cracked for a long time. Have you ever broke one of the machines, Joe? No. No, I never broke the machine. But I did get told to stop kicking it.

Because I was kicking it. Dude, you're a kid. I was trying to figure out what's the best way to do it. I was like, a wheel kick would be the best way to do it. Just blast that motherfucker. Did you get it? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

But my heel, after I hit it, was bouncing off the back of the machine. Because you go through the bag, yeah the trajectory is you know your legs are longer than your arm yeah trajectory is bouncing it off the machine after i hit it you're just you're destructive i was like this is just can you get one of those machines in here i should right i should have one all right then i'll move to austin okay that's it it's on whoever makes those machines holler at me on instagram we'll find it holler at jamie this is better holler at me i'm not gonna read it but holler jamie we'll get one of those oh bro speaking of arcade i um i had um i was riffing with my friend the other day

about this arcade game i drew it i drew it and i was just fucking around it was just an art piece but i was like oh this should be a real thing. I said, okay, it's like Street Fighter. But instead of using like, you know, the Street Fighter people, it's called Murder Mayhem. Murder Mayhem USA. So what you do is you actually use all the murderers in U.S. history. Have them fight against each other? Yeah.

So you can pick OJ. You can pick Dylan Roof and then have them fight each other and shit, dude. Yeah. Wow. Jeffrey Domber versus Ted Bundy. Hell yeah, bro. Fight to the death. Casey Anthony, bro. She's swinging a baby at you and shit.

You play it. We're getting that in here, too. And then I'm moving to Austin. That could sell. People would get furious. Like, you remember how people got really mad at Grand Theft Auto because you could kill a hooker with a crowbar? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, what are you doing?

You know, they think, like, you're going to encourage people to go do that. But it doesn't really work that way. Yeah, why would I ever fucking really do that unless I was, like, the grim sleeper? It doesn't work that way, though. There's no evidence that, like, violence in video games actually encourages violence. But some people believe it does. Some people believe that Call of Duty makes people want to go shoot people. You'd figure that you get your violence fix from that, and then I'm done.

Yeah. All right. That's what the Japanese believe. They believe in like Kinky videos And like Violence and stuff That you get all of it Out of your system

That way Yeah You don't actually go And perpetrate it Yeah yeah yeah What do you got there Jamer? It's a video of them Doing the anal

Oh That's right The China anal test On Twitter And it's on Twitter isn't it Have you seen that? No On Twitter

Where you can't pretend To be the president But you can watch a dude stick a fucking Q-tip up a dude's ass at the airport. Is this real? What is this? This is COVID? This is the COVID test at the airport.

Now, why is this person dressed up like a prisoner? Oh, it's a mannequin. Yeah, I was like, that bitch is weird. She's like a bitch from The Ring. Like, if you were having sex with a girl doggy style like that, you'd be like, what are you doing with your legs? I'm like, well, first of all, where's like a bitch in a ring. If you were having sex with a girl doggy style like that, you'd be like, what are you doing with your legs? I'm like, well, first of all, where's her ass? This is uncomfortable.

So they're showing you how to do it. They stick it. They dig it in there. Okay. So is that real? That's how they're going to do COVID tests now? It comes out brown. They stick it up your asshole?

Yeah. Smell it. What do you do if someone's got diarrhea and the moment you put it in there it's like popping the cork off the bottle and just champagne they're gonna hold it for the test oh yeah steve-o steve-o's gonna fly to china just to do a video hey check my ass i might have it blasto that's just ridiculous and people are gonna and people are gonna actually do this Have it. Blasto. That shit's ridiculous. And people are going to actually do this? Of course.

There's some people that are going to be happy. Use two Q-tips because one's not enough. All these two mask people. Do you think there's any chance that people in China are trolling us? Because they're like, oh, no, they're going to believe this too. Wait. This is certainly a possibility. We don't know.

Stop making fake cool shit. It's not real. It's certainly a possibility. We don't know. Stop making fake cool shit. It's certainly a possibility that they're trying to undermine society in America by pretending they're doing things here and we start doing it. Do you see they're telling you to wear three masks now? Some people are saying three masks are 90% effective, but two masks are only 70% effective.

You should wear three masks. Now we got to wear two masks? They're telling you to wear two masks. And a lot of people are like, I'm happy to wear two masks are only 70% effective. You should wear three masks. Now we got to wear two masks? They're telling you to wear two masks. And a lot of people are like, I'm happy to wear two masks. Happy. The same people that take photos on Twitter, their profile picture has them wearing a mask. Yeah. Yeah.

They're wearing two masks now. Question. How often are we supposed to change out our mask? Never. They didn't tell us that. That's how you build immunity. Get all that funk in your mask. Just live with it. Yeah. You're developing a culture. Never. They didn't tell us that. That's how you build immunity. Get all that funk in your mask. Just live with it. Yeah, like you're developing

a culture of bacteria. It's inside the mask. That keeps you healthy. How long is this mask shit gonna last, man? I don't know, but Fauci was saying that we're never gonna shake hands again. I'm like, bitch, I never stopped. I never stopped shaking hands. Yeah. What are you talking about? We're never gonna shake hands again. This is the same guy, by

the way, not to diminish his reputation as a doctor and a person of medicine, because he is a brilliant guy, but he was telling people in the 1980s that everybody was going to die of AIDS. Same guy. Right. Same guy that thought everyone was going to die from HIV back in the AIDS scare. Yeah. These people, they always fear for the worst because historically there have been cases whether it's the black plague or ebola there's been cases where

there a disease comes along that fucking kills everybody do you want to hear some gross shit yes my my grandmother's pussy my grandmother's asshole you think your pussy's bad. Yo, my stepfather just died of AIDS or something. He was still dying of AIDS? Well, he did. And the part I thought was gross about it was that they cremated him and they threw his ashes in the ocean. And I just thought that was so nasty and i was like people fish there is that good enough to kill the aids virus like like does it do that but this is see this is where my ignorance comes in i'm like do those do those does that does that

do those ashes have aids on them right how does that affect the beluga wells right would you get your age fish you're gonna start a fish It already comes out for late and shit. Well, that's one of the things they found out about mad cow disease is that they would take the – like when people got mad cow disease, which is called Yuck – The boop. Yuckub's Crutzfeld or Crutzfeld Yuckub, whichever one it is. Who names? I don't know.

I think it's probably two scientists. But mad cow disease comes from something called prions. And prions are, it's like a thing that lives in your brain tissue. And one of the things they found out was when they use instruments on people with mad cow disease, and then they tried to cook the mad cow disease off, like to sterilize it on these instruments, it didn't work. So they would have them in a thousand degree temperature for hours and the the the prions would stay alive which is fucking insane so like you could potentially develop this thing that doesn't die it's like an immortal an immortal disease

right so they're just cremating someone maybe that's not good enough for the aids virus maybe it's good enough for aids virus but not good enough for mad cow so if someone gets mad cow and they barbecue them and and fucking cremate them and then throw them in the ocean then the fish could get mad cow or or seals or walruses or uh maybe i'm a moron i'm just making shit up i well i like your fake news over china's fake news probes it's just is is it that hard to figure out whether or not people have covid with a nose swab like yeah i was like i like what i did out there just with the tickle of that more accurate probably oh what the hell more accurate do we need where they were saying we're gonna check like college dorms, the pipes,

to see if, like... They have been doing that. Right, I mean, I didn't know you could even do that until COVID's happened, so, like, maybe it's... Yeah, that's how they find out if people have it. They check the shit. Remember how crazy people was, like, at the beginning of COVID, when people were spraying down fucking their groceries and shit and cleaning them and stuff?

Oh, yeah. I was like... People were wearing masks while they were driving. Yeah. I saw a guy wearing a mask driving yesterday. Yeah.. Oh, yeah. People were wearing masks while they were driving. Yeah. I saw a guy wearing a mask driving yesterday. Yeah. Come on, son. I was driving next to that dude.

I'm like, you're a bum. Like, you're a bum. It's just a weird way to drive around with masks and a glove. Like, is this how we want to live? And it's like, okay, so. How many people do you know that caught it? Probably about, like, four people. That's it?

Personally, yeah, like four people. I know four people that caught it this week. Really? Yeah. Oh, no, no, five, because Tony just caught it. Yeah. Tony had it for one day. Yeah.

He said, my back kind of hurt. That's it. He came in, he didn't even think he had it. Yeah. He came in to get tested, i'm like you got it you fuck get in the corner yeah you got it we have a dunce chair in the corner because the only people that have sat in it is jamie and tony yeah and they've got the covid as soon as jamie came in i'm like get in that corner you got the covid son man i had to uh when i had started um when i had

started like doing those uh apartment shows and shit people were like, well, I'm not going to. Because that was a concern of people. Like, well, I'm not going to catch over the this and this and that. I had to tell people, like, yo, I already had it. You know, just so people. It's over. And I mean, I've deep washed my apartment. I already not come over here and stuff like that.

Now, I actually took an antibody test. Fingertip prick. Yeah, a girl pricked my fucking finger and shit. And I didn't have any. I was cool. And then right after that, maybe like a week later, I don't know if it was the COVID, but I came down with something crazy. And I was real fucking weak. And then I was like sweating in bed. But I could down with something crazy, and I was real fucking weak, and then I was, like, sweating in bed, but I could still taste shit.

Well, that doesn't mean you definitely lose your taste. Oh, okay. Yeah, you might have had it. But here's the thing. It's like regular colds are still around. Of course you did. You're healthy. Most healthy people are going to sail through this.

The people that I know that have gotten it, every one of them, like one of my got it she was no sickness at all she didn't feel a thing yeah chapelle didn't have any symptoms my friend rahim no symptoms no nothing uh but my friend ck he had it and he had apparently i just talked to him he was six days in and he still has some symptoms how did they did they uh like did they take a test? And be like, oh, fuck, I got that shit. Yeah. Oh. You know, the Chappelle shows that we were doing out here, they all got shut down. It was one of, someone that Dave knew outside of the show that was careless.

It had nothing to do with the show. Had nothing to do with it. Because we were testing the whole audience. And we test all the performers. And everyone was clean. But someone had come in contact with some other people that had come in contact with dave it was it was a careless person that had nothing to do with the performance and then a bunch of people got it and uh it's it spread through and they apparently i

was supposed to be on the friday show friday and saturday and then thursday they were there to do the show and they canceled the show while the audience was seated the audience was seated the band was playing and uh i guess a bunch of people had tested positive and they had to shut the show down right here at stubs yep right here at stubs damn that shit crazy man it's weird but what's weird is that none of them got any symptoms and it's so funny it's like i still don't even know if that was it, you know? Right. I bet it was it.

Huh? I bet it was it, but you won't be able to find out now. Like, Jamie, you don't have antibodies anymore, right? Oh, you did. Oh, you already had it? Or did you take the vaccine? Did you get tested yesterday for antibodies? Yeah.

Okay, we had an antibody test that we did yesterday. You taking that vaccine? No. Yeah. I just, I just, I mean, I would if I felt like I needed it. But I just, I just feel like

if you maintain your health, and I think for some people it's important. I think for some people it's good. Are they going to make people take it in order to go overseas? I'm worried about that.

I don't like that. I don't like needles. That's, I like, I don't like. I don't, also, I want to know how this, how people fare over X amount of months like what happens in six months after the vaccine when how long does it last for do you need it again next year didn't a chick faint on national tv for

taking that motherfucking vaccine yeah but apparently she faints whenever she gets a needle which is hilarious they chose her because that does happen i i knew a girl who would see she would see movies a girl i was dating she would see a movie where a dude was shooting up and she'd black out faint in a movie theater we went to the movies and someone was shooting up in the movie theater and she blacked out it's like what is happening here i remember when i was like 17 and uh i was walking down the street i was walking down the street and I saw a man doing heroin. Whoa. He was doing heroin. It was an old junkie.

He was doing heroin. And I just looked over and I was like, damn. That's a crazy way to get high. And I just kept walking. I was like, damn. What's crazy is when they get to the point where they're shooting into the same vein over and over again and then they get gangrene. Dude. That shit is sad.

That's what happened to mitch hedberg mitch hedberg was in the hospital at one point in time because he had been shooting into the same spot and he developed a horrible infection he still has one of my probably my favorite joke of all time i've ever heard and it's so simple that motherfucker said i don't got a girlfriend I just know a girl who'd be really mad if I said that did you know him yeah not well yeah I met him and hung out with him a little bit he was friends with Stan Hope he was the one of the best at non sequiturs because he could do a whole hour but it was like one joke that had nothing to do with the next joke had nothing to do

with the next joke and he wrote constantly constantly writing he was brilliant man just so unusual too no one liked that guy you know he was so unique and his tone his uh it was like it was it was jazz i don't know but i know a girl who'd be really mad if I said that. Speaking of jazz, did you ever listen to the one album that he had where they played music in the background? That was amazing. Brilliant fucking one-liners, bro. Comedy, brother.

It's the best. It unites us, brings us together, and it's bringing you to Austin, Texas. Come on. Only if you bring that punching machine. You know I'm here, bro. You got it. You got it. Punch machine. Hey, brother, thank you very much. Yo, man, thank you so that punching machine. You know I'm here, bro. You got it. Punch machine. Thank you very much. Yo, man, thank you so much. I really appreciate it, man. Always good to see you.

Great to see you again. Yes, sir, man. Thank you for bringing us out here. My pleasure. Tell everybody your Instagram, your Twitter. Twitter doesn't work right now. I got a new Twitter. I got a new Twitter. What's the new Twitter? My new Twitter is Jamar Malachi. M-A-L-A-C-H-I. And it says my unsuspended account.

And my Instagram is Jamar underscore neighbors. And I also have a YouTube channel, you know, uploading some podcasts. My damn self. Support the dinosaur. Got podcast, got everything. Hilarious stand-up comic. Thank you so much. I really appreciate your time.

Appreciate you. Bye, everybody. Bye, baby. Got a podcast, got everything. You're a hilarious stand-up comic. Thank you so much, John. I really appreciate your time. Appreciate you. Bye, everybody. Bye, guys.