The Joe Rogan Experience - #1610 - Snowpocalypse with Tim Dillon

Episode Date: February 20, 2021

Tim Dillon is a standup comedian, actor, and host of the Tim Dillon Show.

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night! All day! Wouldn't it be cool to have, like, Aerosmith right now? I'm back! Yeah, be great. I'm back in the saddle again.

Be great. The snowpocalypse, Tim Dillon. Hey, holding up. Did I move you out of here at a bad time, do you think? I mean, we considered suing you. I was sitting there going, can I take legal action against him? Like, I called a lawyer and apparently I cannot. Listen, I'll give you free meals.

Yeah. Every time we go out forever. We were, I mean, I was on a bread line two days ago my opener flies into town we're gonna fly out for shows all the flights grounded we can't go anywhere i mean we're waiting outside of a supermarket for an hour and then we're eating fish sticks in the dark of my house with no power and i'm like you know joe fucking rogan man uh this was a real fucking leap of faith, but it's looking better today. It'll be fine.

It'll be fine. Listen, it was a once in, they're calling it a once in 120-year storm, but I think what that means is ever recorded. You go back to 1800, so what we're talking about, or 1900, rather. What kind of fucking instruments were they using? Yeah, what were they, what were they jotting down? The Barber's Almanac was the big thing back in those days. Yeah.

How did that work? Because that fucking thing was apparently kind of accurate. It's kind of witchcraft-y. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, they would predict, like, next year's winter cycles. Yeah, and harvests and things like that, yeah. What did they do? How did it work?

Well, it was just wild driving around texas and seeing nothing but snow and you it looked like vermont it looked like you were in the northeast but it didn't it was like wild to be in texas driving around and nothing was open yeah so like gas stations weren't open uh fast food wasn't open nothing was open no you know tell you what was open the houston airport my boy ted cruz is like yeah he was out and by the way isn't it sad that like he couldn't get away with it it's like here's the thing about the bush family say what you want about them maybe whack to kennedy by guns but i mean now our leaders can't even get caught taking a commercial flight to cancun

like that's pretty sad but here's the thing like what can he do what is yeah what is the reason for him staying well i think it's just the optics of how it looks yeah but of course no he doesn't have any of can he make it warm out i don't think he has any power to do anything good maybe he should be there with blankets yeah well it's funny it's like the people that hate him the most are the ones that are like he should be there It's like doing what well, yes, you know, here's the thing though Yeah, he was one of the vocal critics of Mayor Adler. Who's a Democrat right went to Cancun as well, right? Everybody goes to Cancun. I think he was in Cancun was in Cancun or was he in one of those? Yes, but it was in Cancun or was it Puerto Vallarta?

It was one of those nice places in Mexico. Yeah. And he's the mayor of Austin? Yes. He went down there and he was saying, now is not the time to relax. Cabo. Cabo. Cabo.

So he went down there. I mean, that's the place to relax. I mean, fucking Sammy Hagar's got a song about it. I mean, it's crazy to watch it's also crazy that he got caught and then he came back well he said i was always coming back i was being a good father like yeah so you had to put a spin on it yeah i was dropping my face i feel because ted cruz is the face of the guy that always is caught like he looks like the kid at school who gets in on the prank too late

and then the teacher catches him like he just looks like he gets caught he's not he's not one of those guys who gets away with it no matter what happens he doesn't get away with it no he's he's um did you ever see those videos that they made where it was i don't know who released the full video the videos that they made where he was running for president, and he sat down with his mom, and he was talking about, I go to church every day, and she's like, every day? Right. His mom threw him under the bus.

She's like, every day? Yeah, yeah. His mom was like, bitch, you don't go to fucking church every day. And it was like they had to retake scenes, and it was... Oh, the whole thing's a nightmare. But they showed it. How about somebody from the wife's group text leaked? Because they were inviting neighbors going, come to fucking Cabo or wherever the hell. Come to Cancun.

Yes. And somebody leaked it to the New York Times going, here's the group text proving they were inviting us all. I wonder how many moms were in that group text. Too many. Yeah. These are the videos. Oh, this is great.

But these things are always gross, man. Those like, sit down with your mom. Let's pretend the camera's not here. Right. Tell everyone how good I am. I'm a good person, right, mom? I'm a God-fearing Christian. Tell everyone what a good person your son is.

Yeah. He was very good, though. I have to give him props, because there was this one situation where what what was it it was a tech thing where he was fuck i don't remember god damn it we talked about it on the podcast jamie do you remember what it was where he was uh calling them out for god it's escaping me but i was actually kind of a platforming people or privacy yes it was like here there's a video of him from the summer he's like who the hell are who is he who is he critiquing though who's he criticizing Google yes and it says Ted Cruz on

Google and big tech censorship yeah there was a Who the hell are you to decide who can speak? He was catching them in some hypocrisies and some lies and it was very good the way he was doing it and well phrased. You gotta give a little if you're gonna shit on the guy. That fucking tech stuff

drives me crazy. And what drives me crazy is the people on the left that think it's not gonna come for them. right well they're all moving here all these tech guys are in austin like a lot of them are moving here and there are some of them that are more uh i don't know what you would call it libertarian in their ideology where they don't want to shut people down and they want people uh to speak but there's just so much i don't know it just feels like your there's a tide coming in and the tide is going to wash away even those people that are standing up and saying this isn't right we shouldn't do this i just feel like because people are tired like the public doesn't

care and i get it the public doesn't care the public's like you know what i don't care who care i like you don't think they care i think of them do, but I think it's one of those things that it doesn't affect that many people. And if it doesn't affect that many people, it's hard to necessarily get up and arms over it. Like when Gina Carano gets fired, people are like, okay. Like it doesn't affect that many people. Most people work at jobs where they're not allowed to say anything. So they work for corporations. They go into an office. They can't say anything, right? And they kind of like it when

people get in trouble. Yeah, they love when people get in trouble, especially when people outside of the system that are making money get in trouble. So people aren't really as upset about it and they don't think it's going to lead to where it's going to lead to. That was the whole thing with Alex Jones. It's like, it's clearly going to lead. It's not going to die with Alex. It's going to go other places. Right. Once you're getting rid of the freedom of the First Amendment, right, the freedom of speech, which is as long as you're not doxing someone or openly threatening someone or doing something genuinely horrible, you should be able to speak your opinion because we have to figure out who's right. And you can't say you're not right so you can't talk.

Right. Because then the people that have the power to hit that switch, which is right now the people that are on the left that are in charge of tech, they're going to hit that switch whenever they disagree with people. Well, it's weird because they also have billions of dollars. If you go on the Clubhouse app and you listen to these people talk, they are, I know you don't, but they are billionaires or worth hundreds of millions of dollars. And their concerns are always like you go into the app and somebody's like,

we need more indigenous creators. We need more indigenous entrepreneurs or women of color entrepreneurs or all these goals that are laudable goals, whatever. But then a white guy will come into the conversation and go, well, he goes, as a white guy, I want to apologize for even speaking. No. This is where the guy. Who's done this?

This is a guy on Clubhouse. That's why I'm not on Clubhouse. As a white guy, he goes, I want to, but you know, you got to go into my good rooms. Like, should women be allowed to own Bitcoin? That's a real debate. Did you make that room? Yeah. The rooms on Clubhouse I make are like, should women be allowed to own Bitcoin?

I want to be a cancer influencer um how do you build a brand in prison should i buy a bitcoin or pay for my son's surgery you gotta have fun ted i the one last night was ted cruz has a right to do cocaine with his family in mexico uh you gotta have fun with it i troll and just have a little bit of fun but on that app you listen to these tech people and one really big tech woman who's massive said like something that was chilling. She goes, we got to put guardrails up online. And as soon as she said, we got to put guardrails up, I felt chilled because I'm like, I know what she means by that. And guardrails are just like, here's where offensive speech is and we're going to put the guardrail there and then the guardrail is going to move.

Who said this? We're going to put the guardrail there, and then the guardrail is going to move. Who said this? A very big person who owns a major app that just went public. Jesus. Who's worth $1.5 billion now. And I'm sure she's a lovely, talented woman, but her belief was like, hey, we've got to put some guardrails up online. But when I heard it, I went, this is a very ominous thing to say. But hold on.

When someone says something like that, she's probably talking about this QAnon shit that led to the Capitol Hill riot. Perhaps. Or she's talking about somebody calling someone fat or somebody saying someone's a moron. I don't know, but is it going to be easy to just draw a line around QAnon stuff? And then where's the legitimate discussions

about human trafficking and political? Yeah, it's hard. It's real hard. Did anybody challenge her? No. Were you in that room? Yeah. Why didn't you say something?

I did. I said, okay. I was like, all right. I went, okay. I mean, she's a billionaire, right? So I'm like, I'm letting these rooms and I just kind of, every now and then I throw out like a joke every eight minutes and then I just go back to listening. What did everyone else say when she said?

Yas, queen. No, they're in. Joe, they're all in. They're in on guardrails? Oh, they want the guardrail. They think it's a great idea. Yeah, no. Because nobody wants to give you any of their money, so they want to solve the world's problems

by making everyone nice. Because they're like, listen, I have a billion dollars. I don't want to give you any of that, but I'd like everyone to be nicer. So that's what tech is. It's just a weird cognitive dissonance. someone found it want to behave poorly you cannot do it here but where is that on bumble but that's her app that's you so that's who said it by the way but but but this is a female but hold on a second this is a female created dating site i think she has the right on her dating site to say look i've created this this atmosphere where i want people to be pleasant on this atmosphere because it's a

female created dating site sure i don't want guys send a dick pics sure unless i ask for them right you know that kind of shit well that's fine but does does does anyone i'm just on her app it's one thing right but no one who wants power and control goes, I'm good with my part of the yard. Most people go, yeah, I want, I think these standards should be enforced uniformly. That's my experience of like hearing a lot of these people talk. I think a lot of them are like, yeah, we should step in and curate a better world and create a better world. And they think they're doing the right thing. But there's a huge downside to it, which I don't know if they realize because they just

want to get everyone's data, sell it, and make money. So they don't want anything getting in the way of that. Yeah, that's the real problem. The real problem is the consumers have become the product. And they didn't know they were the product, and now the people that were selling them are making insane amounts of money. And one of the interesting things that's going on right now is this fight between Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, and Tim Cook, Tim Cook at Apple. Tim Cook is like, hey, just selling ads is good enough. You shouldn't be selling people's data.

You shouldn't be infringing on people's privacy. And we're going to put a stop to that. And so Facebook took out this, was it a full page ad? They did something where they published this piece where Mark Zuckerberg was essentially saying that you are going to punish small

businesses, which is the weirdest. Let's see what his argument against Tim Cook was. Because this was fairly recently. Zuckerberg came on Clubhouse for a brief moment. What did he say? I don't know. businesses which is the weirdest see let's see what his argument against tim cook was because this was fairly recently zuckerberg came on clubhouse for a brief moment what did he say i don't know does not compute yeah he comes on for like a brief moment and then he got out but sometimes people are in the audience in those apps like you'll look you're like motherfucker that guy's everybody's waiting for joe rogan to come on yeah that's not happening every single person on the app's like why would i do that when does joe rogan go on the app is like, when does Joe Rogan go on the app? Because I said,

what Joe Rogan really wants to do is spend four or five hours a night talking. He wants to talk. And he wants to listen. He wants to listen. But we want you to come on for a fun night to just blow it up. Me, the Weinstein family. Listen, those people. Who love me

and now they hate me. They hate me, the Weinsteins. No, the Weinsteins love you but eric is very sensitive well yeah i made fun of them because i said all these gurus what have they ever done i'm like and lex friedman loved it i said what are these who are these guys if they invented the rotator what do they do like what is the rotator it's the thing that peels and slices the potato i'm like have they ever had an invention and and then they got mad and they were like well this is not good but i want to do a video no more than that he actually went on he went on twitter yes said he flamed me tim

dylan asked what have i ever done yeah then he starts listing all the things he's done yeah that's always a mistake it's wild that's not good it's what you're arguing with a man who wears a wig sometimes so him or you both probably but i was talking about myself but i wanted to do a video where i impersonate him brett and heather and i might do it i just gotta get you should do it i might do it yeah and we have a lex friedman like a little baby in a suit as lex friedman we'll put him there yeah i like it they're all very smart but it's just like listen man comedy's comedy you gotta you gotta. You've got to have fun. Yes. You've got to have fun.

Well, you can't get upset if, listen, if you've done all those wonderful things. Yeah. And then someone comes and makes fun of you and you go, what have you done? Right. You've got to just let it go. I said that you guys left LA because my podcast was bigger than yours, which is provably untrue. That's provably not true. And I said-

Imagine if I went on Twitter. Tim Dillon said, I left LA because his podcast was bigger than mine. Thatably not true and i said and i wasn't imagine if i went on twitter tim dylan said i left la because his podcast is bigger than mine that is not true here are the numbers yeah here is a fraud yeah he lies about things all the time imagine if i did that i said joe's leaving la because our podcast is bigger than him and people go but you get like 208 000 views on youtube i go you don't understand the match so it's like you don't understand there's other things at play. But I do shit like that all the time. And it's like sometimes people get angry.

Well, you have to understand fun and they have to understand comedy. Yeah. Comedy, like a big part of what you and I both do. Yeah. Like we have points. Like you're serious sometimes. Sometimes, yeah. I'm serious sometimes too. But we talk shit. Yeah. And that's really You're serious sometimes. Sometimes, yeah. I'm serious sometimes, too.

Yeah. But we talk shit. Yeah. And that's really what it is. It's talking shit. He said to me, he goes, have you read my unified theory of everything? I'm like, no. And I got to be honest, not gonna.

Not gonna do it. Why would I do that? I just don't. Anytime someone says that. I haven't done it. That's an issue. Yeah. If someone said, as a like a, put you in your place, have you read my unified theory of

everything? Right. Yeah. If I did, I would talk to you about it. Yeah. I'm like, I don't have any, have you read my Unified Theory of Everything? Right. If I did, I would talk to you about it. Yeah, I'm like, I don't have any, I don't care. I mean, I'm just, I'm glad that you. I do care. I'm glad that it's, you've unified everything. Good, good.

Well, he's a fucking brilliant guy. He's a very smart guy. I've talked to him on the podcast before. A ton. Very intelligent. He left me, you know, like, if you go running with like david goggins or something like that no but i'll take your word for it like i'm just gonna sit on the side of the road here and yeah run yes yeah he does it away from you they're way you know it's way ahead

of you it is what it is yeah i've i've i'd love to be invited to the weinstein thanksgiving next year listen brett and and Eric are wonderful people. And I love Heather as well. They're great. I'm sure they are. I'm giant fans of them. I'm sure they are. They really are.

I'm sure. I don't know them. We were at the comedy store. Yeah. And Andrew Schultz was fucking with Eric. Oh, yeah. You could see Eric was like. Yeah.

They had had some sort of interaction online. Right. And I forget what it was. But it was playful. And Schultz starts fucking with him at the store the whole thing about comedy is you know you're you're taking shots you're having fun it's not meant to be taken seriously it's complete you know they're in the world though but he's 50 years old yeah and they're dabbling in this world but it's also like they're on youtube so you might be a fucking genius but you're next to me and Logan Paul on YouTube.

So I'm going to say something about something and whatever. If you're a genius, it shouldn't bother you. I would agree with you. But I just had a conversation with a brilliant friend of mine, literally one of the smartest people I know. And he has a podcast. And I don't want to say what he does because I didn't ask him if I could talk about this. But he said, I need to talk to you about how to handle criticism and how to handle this stuff on social media. Right.

Because I engage too much or I think about it too much or I'm reading it too much and then it fucks with me. Right. And we have this conversation. I mean, this guy is a fucking genius. And not just a genius. Like a physical specimen too. Right. He's an amazing person. Yeah. And yet – He gets to you. And not just a genius, like a physical specimen too. He's an amazing person.

Yeah. And yet, and he's not even controversial. Like the stuff he talks about is not controversial. Right. But it's just dealing with other, whether it's peers

or people that are jealous or just straight up assholes. Yeah. Well, comics are in this weird position because we have to look at things and observe things and make fun of things. We got to make fun of people we disagree with make fun of people we agree with yes we got

to make fun of the whole landscape yourself and myself which i do all the time and it's the whole landscape of what's out there right now and it's not just you know i don't pick a side or i don't go i may agree with a side but i like i agree with a lot of what those guys say but it's like if something happens to be funny yes i say it right if you agree with them and then you shit on the point that you agree with right because there's gold there that's what you got to do that's what we do that's what you got to do you have to do that sometimes yeah and i mean it doesn't mean you don't care does it mean yeah i think they're brilliant thank god we have radically different jobs yeah thank god thank god my job is not to advance scientific theories. Imagine if you were working for Peter Thiel and you were in charge of all of his money.

It would be a very interesting, Thiel Capital would have a very interesting three months before it was over. Three? Be over. Last half of the first month. It would be the end. But we'd go bankrupt a few things. Like we'd go after, you know, he already did Gawker. We'd go after a few more, you know?

Go after a few people I don't like. I think it's a great idea. Text me, Peter. Call me. Yeah. But a lot of these tech guys are in Austin. They're very interesting. Well, they're moving here because this is a very tech-friendly area.

Yeah. It's a weird place because it's a blue spot in a red state. And it's also a very artistic area. It's also very nice. Like, one of the reasons why I moved here is that it's a lower population than L.A. And people are just genuinely friendlier. Right. They're friendlier.

I've always loved it here. I've been coming here since, I think I did my first gig here in 99. I walked into it, get my hair done and a woman's like, are you from California? Are you bringing your liberal politics here? I'm like, do I look like I'm bringing liberal? I look like Rush Limbaugh. Like, do I look like I'm bringing my liberal politics here? Did you see your license plate?

Is that what it was? I think so. Yeah. And she's like, where are you? Because I have a New York voice. So they're like, oh, you're not, you're not you're not from here and i'm like yeah i'm not bringing my liberal policy i'm bringing like no politics i don't even i guarantee whenever the elections are i will miss them i won't know when they are and someone will call me in a week and go did you vote

and i'll go what so that's whatever ally you want here you don't get well i have a friend of mine who uh is out here. He's an older gentleman who I've become friends with since I moved here. And he's a gun enthusiast and kind of an interesting character, but a very smart guy. Right. And he just goes, we're being invaded. Yeah. Well, he's right.

That's how he's right a little bit. I go, by people like me, you mean? Yeah. Like, I'm part of the invasion. Yeah. He goes, no, you're a good guy. But it's also like, isn't Austin pretty damn liberal? Like, I drive through Austin.

It's like women with like, I'm saying women, but I don't know. But entities with purple dreadlocks. It's like Antifa runs Austin. It's like, I'm bringing liberal values? I mean, it's like crazy. They're worried about the voting. Because they already hate the mayor. Yeah, of course.

They already hate the mayor. Yeah. They hate the mayor. They hate the homeless situation. They love the governor. Right. They're trying to figure it out. The governor's a good dude.

I watched the governor do the press conference. He did a good job. He's a great guy. But you do miss Trump a little bit because you do miss how Trump would have handled it. Well, then you just go to Andrew Cuomo. He was very respectful. Well, he's a criminal. He's a Democratic Trump.

Yeah, he's a criminal. Yeah. He was not funny and should be in jail. Yeah. How about that, huh? How about lying? He's calling and threatening people, telling them not to. Journalists.

Yeah, calling and threatening people. He's calling other people, going, hey, man. Politicians. You know, we act a certain way. I don't know what the quote is. Jamie will find it. But he said something to the guy, like mafia shit. Yeah, well, Crystal and Sager covered it today on their show.

And there's a clip on their Instagram page showing the guy, and he's explaining what they said, what Cuomo said to him. But he basically said, I will destroy you. Yeah. Which is like, they were- That's lovely. Isn't that nice? Yeah, they said it accurately.

They're like, this is cartoonish. Yeah, it's cartoon. And they all get caught. This is the thing with Ted Cruz on a plane or this guy doing it. Like, you all get caught. It's no longer like the 60s when they could just, with impunity, do whatever they wanted. Well, he's a 70-year-old guy. He's probably been doing this his whole life.

Of course he has. But, like, you get caught now, and then they look terrible when they get caught. Well, that's the least of it. But he looks terrible. The reason why he doesn't want them to say things is because they lied about the COVID numbers in nursing homes. The COVID deaths in nursing homes, which are directly attributable to his policies, killed- It's crazy.

Literally, they lied about 50%. Wow. They lied at a 50%. Yeah. Whatever the fuck the number was, it was 50% off the real number. Wow. Which is thousands of deaths. It was a brush fire.

Thousands of people that died. Just think of a pile. Think of like a show that you and I would do at a nice theater. Sure. I think of those people just stacked up dead because of the decision of a politician. Can they get rid? Is it a, is it a, because I know that they're trying to recall Newsom. They're trying to recall him too.

They're trying to recall him too, yeah. They're gathering the momentum to try to recall him right now. But on top of that, there's also – I don't know if this is true, but I was reading about the potential FBI investigation. There's a criminal investigation. Well, there should be, yeah. Well, one of his aides leaked the fact that they were worried that these numbers were going to get out and that it was going to help the trump administration so they yeah this is all crazy it's all crazy but also i'm a moron i don't really know

what the fuck i'm talking about let's just be really clear i'm listening to people like crystal and saga that from the hill from rising i actually know what they're talking about and i'm reiterating what they're saying just just say to that well i know what i'm talking about and cuomo should go to jail here it is u.s attorney fbi investigating cuomo's handling of nursing home details okay now though this is on nbc whenever something gets on nbc you know they're fucked right because this is a democrat right when they're covering this on nb they're throwing him on the bus. Not only that, they've also barred his brother from ever interviewing him on CNN. Well, yeah. I mean, that's a dog and pony show, the idea that he could even interview his own brother

and toss him softball questions. But Jake Tapper wants to interview him. I believe it's Jake Tapper, who's a credible journalist. Right. And they're like, uh-uh. He doesn't want to talk to Jake Tapper. No. Because Jake Tapper is going to hold his feet to the fire, or whoever it is.

Remember in the beginning, Cuomo was the star? Yes. Like Chelsea Handler's like, I want to fuck Cuomo like they were all, he was the star. Imagine him. She said that, yeah. Imagine being him. She said, yeah. What a threat.

That's your reward. That's a threat. But the- How would she do it, too? She'd be on top. Yeah. And she'd punch him. Yeah.

As soon as she came, she'd punch him right in the nose he was the star everybody loved him in the beginning and they were like he's handling it brilliantly i thought so i thought so this is what i thought i thought he he's calm and he looks like a leader i is like, you know, you see a man who was handling things in a very calm manner. But as time went on, he started to crack. Right? Yeah. And you see this with people that respond to pressure and criticism. It changes their character.

Right. And this is what I was talking about with my friend. Right. This brilliant guy who's dealing with social media pressure. You take in too much criticism, it starts to change your perspective, which starts to change your behavior, which becomes ultimately very detrimental. And you see it with Cuomo.

When he started saying, one of the things that he said about lockdowns, he was like, if you didn't want to gain weight, you shouldn't have ate the cheesecake. You didn't listen. You didn't listen. You didn't wear your mask.

You didn't social distance. That's not what it is, you fucking idiot. That's not what it is right what it is is this virus is very complicated and it's confusing because it was made in a goddamn lab probably again i'm a moron but yeah people that i know that are smart think it was made in a lab right and they think that what happens is when you enforce lockdowns you force people inside and you force people to be right on top of each other and they breathe each other's air and that's how people get sick. And it's more likely that they're going to get sick that

way than if you let them do things and just fucking go out in public and just go around and go places and mingle. Well, this was also a guy that when New York was descending into a crime-infested hellscape, he said, everybody come back, I'll cook for you. I'll cook for you. I'll cook for you.

I'll cook for you. I'll make you sauce. I'll make you a nice little meatball. There's people in New York right now beating each other with metal bats in the street to death. And de Blasio has people doing a dance routine at Cuomo's Town.

People will make them Sunday sauce. It's a little disturbing. How about that de Blasio video? I sent you that, right? Yeah, it's absurd. It's crazy. It's one of the craziest things I've everlasio video I sent you that right Yeah it's absurd It's crazy It's one of the craziest things I've ever seen

That was one of the rare times I post on Twitter Yeah Rare times I post on Twitter I post that and I said How the fuck is this How is this real How is this a real thing

Yeah It's literally a Coen Brothers sketch It's a scene In the Big Lebowski Yeah It's absurdist Beyond belief

Yeah Please play that Yeah he has a dance troupe We're gonna bring back culture we're gonna bring back the arts this is what you say when you've never created a business yeah this is the kind of shit that you do and they're not even good play this play this they're horrible no but it's not just they're horrible a part of and we're going to do that we're going to really bring back the heart and soul new york city we need our arts and culture back and we need people

to see it and feel it to to participate in it, to know that that essence of New York City has not been defeated by the coronavirus, but will come back strong in 2021. What is his version? As you see the city come back to life, culture will lead the way.

Open culture is another step towards a recovery for our city. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. I can't. If I was a businessman who lost their business because they wouldn't allow me to stay open, but they allow Target to be open, they allow these giant businesses. Where was the guy with the bat for that? And here's the other thing. When you tell someone that their business is not essential, do you know how infuriating

that must be if you run a goddamn restaurant? Well, it's also the essential workers, by the way, started to get attitudes. I don't know if you know this, but a lot of the supermarket workers started to get a chip on their shoulder, and I didn't like it. They got essential? Well, the essential workers, all the supermarket workers were being told, oh, you're essential, you're essential. They got a little rude.

You think so? Yeah, just the same way we call nurses heroes. Don't do that. Don't call anyone a hero. They piss on you. When you call someone a hero. They'll start, they piss on you. When you call someone a hero, it does something to their brain. I've never found that with firefighters. Well, sure, maybe.

But with nurses, we called them heroes, and then they started TikToking with dead bodies. Do you remember that? I do remember that. Yeah, you can't say you're a hero. You have to say, hey, thank you. You're doing your job. Listen, this is hypocritical. I don't mind a little

gallows humor i don't mind nurses tick-tocking with dead bodies as long as they take care of my grandma but then don't cry on facebook i don't mind gallows humor either you can't tick-tock with a dead body and then go it's a bag and wear your mask we can't handle it pick a lane do they do that too yeah of course pick a lane i anybody crying. These nurses don't care about people. Anyway. Why are you saying they do care? Some of them do, Joe, but I know a lot of nurses. You have to swab your nose.

I know a lot of nurses. She's a nice lady. Say that that lady who swabbed your nose. She's lovely, but I know a lot of nurses who are in it to steal Percocet from people. Oh. I know a lot of heartless nurses. We all know a lot of heartless nurses, and let's not pretend we don't. That's a fact. And then some of themless nurses, and let's not pretend we don't. That's a fact.

And then some of them are great, but there's not, it's just like, listen, if you took what I was saying about nurses and I was saying about cops, everybody would, you know, the media would say, oh, that's a great take. Well, because they broad brush cops. They would have said it before, but you know, there's a lot of these defund the

police states that are now ramping up their budget for police officers, like Minneapolis. Right. There's quite a few of these places. Because it went to shit. It didn't just go to shit. It went to Mad Max lanes. Right. It went to some really bad areas.

Went to bad things. It's dangerous as fuck. I mean, you were talking about how bad New York City is when you were staying there last time. Yeah, it was rough. What was it like? Me and my opener were walking back from it. First of all- He's got a name. He's a good guy. Yeah, Dan Carney, my opener. He's a good guy. Yeah, it was rough. What was it like? Me and my opener were walking back from it. He's got a name.

Yeah, Dan Carney, my opener. He's a good guy. Me and my slave. My slave. He was walking. I make him carry all the camera equipment and everything. Does he wear a mask? No, he just carries all the camera equipment and I walk five feet ahead of him like

a cartoon king down the street just observing. And I said to him I think we're going to get killed. I turned around and looked at him and I said we might get killed because people on the street were looking at us like lunch. We were in Times Square it was like maybe 11.30 or 12 at night and people were looking at us people were sitting in Times Square like who are you

motherfuckers like you know what I mean That's why you need Texas gun laws in New York City and it was terrifying so um and then people you know are you're you're just looking around now and you have a weird feeling that i've never felt in new york as an adult i felt that when i was a kid in the 90s i would be like oh yeah it's a little sketchy but as an adult it was like the first time i felt like shit could go down and it wouldn't be good. And now you see all these videos of people being hit with bats or, you know, it's rough.

So, I mean, I just think that it has a, you know, when Giuliani was elected there, there was something that happened right before it. And this was a thing that everyone knows about. A Rockette was killed in Central Park. It was a knife in her back. And it was all over the cover of the papers. And people said, and this was the early 90s, and there was about 2,800, 2,900 homicides

every year in New York City, which is almost like eight a day. It got so bad that that image of the Rockette with the knife in her back in Central Park, people started to go, we need a new direction. They elected Giuliani, who's since disgraced himself and become a goon. But don't you think that he just got old and his brain broke? Yes, I think he should have gotten out of public life disgraced himself and become a goon. But don't you think that he just got old and his brain broke?

Yes. I think he should have gotten out of public life, but he did become a goon. But they cleaned that city up. It wasn't that livable for many, many people. It became a lot more livable, a lot safer after Giuliani got in there. And that's a fact. People might not like that, but that's a fact. That's numbers and data.

One thing that happened. The other thing that happened was Times Square became a mall. Times Square became a mall. A lot of that started to happen under Giuliani, and then it crystallized after 9-11. We need a balance. We do need a balance. You've got to have a little grit, but you want it to be safe.

No, you need a little balance. You want it to be a cool place. You don't need like every Broadway show, a fucking Disney movie. You don't need that. You don't need Cobra Kai the musical or whatever hell is coming after this pandemic's over. But imagine being de Blasio and thinking that that video was a good idea. Well, he's nuts.

He's got to be nuts. He's nuts. He's got to be nuts. He's nuts. He's nuts. How nuts? He's a doofy. I mean, he's seven foot five or something. He's a big guy, and he's just walking around. He probably doesn't get blood to all his extremities.

I mean, he's walking around, and he's just completely devoid of any sense of what is actually happening. And his daughter is at protests going crazy. She's just throwing rocks, shooting cops. She doesn't give a shit about anything. Yeah, she doesn't care. Isn't de Blasio not really his name? I forget, but it's not his name.

No, I think it's like a Carlos Mencia type deal. Yeah, it's not his name. He didn't like his father, so he changed his name. One of those things. I mean, he was just the insufferable kid in high school with the Che Guevara shirt. I mean. Here he is. Jamie will find out.

His name is Warren Wilhelm Jr. Oh my God. So everything is fake. Yeah, but he doesn't. Yeah, so Warren Wilhelm Jr. Everything's fake. Yeah. So that's not his name.

How did he get the name Bill de Blasio? Bill de Blasio was born Warren Wilhelm Jr. How is that possible? As an American politician serving since 2014, the 109th mayor of New York City, member of the Democratic Party, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He was born in Manhattan, primary raised in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Oh, well, you're doomed. Yeah. Cambridge is like, I love Cambridge because it's crazy.

Right. But there's a lot of they-bees in Cambridge. No. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There are they-bees. I thought they-bees was like one they-bee. No, there's many they-bees. I have a gentleman whose daughter is a they-bee.

She insists on being a they-bee. She insists? How old is she? I said she. I'm misgendering. They insist. I should probably go She insists? How old is she? I said she. I'm misgendering. They insist. I should probably go to jail. How old is they?

They is, there's no need to discuss. It's a kid. Okay. It's under 18. But they refuse to be gendered. But there's a trend. Like children, parents are raising their children and they're letting them pick their gender. As gender neutral.

In Cambridge. Yeah. They pick it. They just one day will decide. And so they grow up like, what am I? parents are raising their children and they're letting them pick their gender. They just one day will decide. And so they grow up like, what am I? Who cares? You're like, eat your food. Eat your tofu. He took his mother's last name when he was getting older instead of the father's. But what about the first name? William.

William Wilhelm. Warren Wilhelm. His name is Warren Wilhelm? But William Wilhelm. Warren Wilhelm. His name is Warren Wilhelm? Warren is not Bill. But he looks like a Warren Wilhelm. He doesn't look like a Bill de Blasio. He looks like a creepy Warren Wilhelm. He would be like, oh, it's Warren again, and everyone would leave.

He just went from Warren to Bill. I don't know. Just decided to change everything. Because it's like a name that you'd elect. You'd go, I'm Bill. I'm like you. I'm Bill de Blasio. I'm not Warren Wilhelm from Cambridge.

I'm Bill de Blasio from New York. It's a lot. Yeah. It's a lot. There's so much there. You shouldn't be able to do that. You should have to disclose it. You should have to tell people.

It's on Wikipedia. Well, of course. Look at him. He's handsome. Look at him. He's young. He's doing that thing that comics do when they suck. Look at him.

He has three different legal names. That's a good one. Mayoral hopeful Bill de Blasio has had three different legal names court record show. Okay. What was the other name? Look at his... Right there, he's doing that thing like, hey, I'm wacky. His elbow is... Is it leaning on that... like hey i'm wacky his elbow is is it

leaning on that radiator radiator or is it not it seems like it's floating no it's leaning i don't know if it is the radiator might have been hot and they're taking okay it's leaning no what an odd photo it's terrible what did he do before he was mayor i don't know okay it's democratic candidate yeah what's his other names? Warren Wilhelm in Manhattan. And then Warren de Blasio Wilhelm. Oh, okay. So he hyphenated, like he's married to another person. He sounds like a count.

Warren de Blasio Wilhelm. Gavin Newsom. Gavin Newsom's like an effete wine merchant. All of these guys are just out of it. Well, they're out of it. They've reached the point where they can recall him. Right. Now they just have to gather out enough names to, is just out of it. Well, they're out of it. They've reached the point where they can recall him. Right.

Now they just have to gather out enough names to, because some of them are going to be invalid. Some of the names that they've gathered, apparently, they think they need an extra 500,000 names.

Just because some of the people aren't. Yeah, it's just they're not legally registered to vote. You have to be registered in California. I mean, who knows

who the people are. So they think they need a buffer of about $500,000. But here's the thing. They asked me to sign it. I'm like, I don't even have a license. No, literally. I didn't even sign it. Well, I do now.

But at the time, I was like, I'm not registered to vote here. I don't have a license. I'm like, I'll sign it. And if someone calls me and goes, did you sign that? I'll go, yeah, fuck that guy. But I don't have any paperwork. You need paperwork. I have it now. That's the thing. There's a bunch of people like you that are on'll go, yeah, fuck that guy. But I don't have any paperwork. You need paperwork. I have it now.

That's the thing. There's a bunch of people like you that are on that list, I'm sure. But here's the thing. Patriots. The thing is, California is a heavy Democratic state. The odds of a person who's a Republican winning are very slim. And New York, too. Yes, but it's different.

New York, there's a possibility. There's some precedent. Right. But there's a possibility. There's some precedent. Right. But the only precedent in California that's most recent is Arnold Schwarzenegger, who barely counts because he was a star. And also, I don't know why they—why did they get rid of Gray Davis? Because of the blackouts, the rolling blackouts to Enron, all that stuff. They were fucking with the state. And it was also— there was corruption involved.

There was corruption. Where it wasn't necessary to actually blackout. They were doing it for a political gain. They were forcing it down to send the cost of energy up. Yes. That was a great, that Enron documentary, The Smartest Guys in the Room. Great documentary.

It's a great documentary about that whole thing. And then Bethany McLean, who wrote the article, How Does Enron Make Its Money? She's a great financial journalist. Also, you know know she's in that documentary and that's a really cool documentary it's great and yeah it's spooky that's spooky you know who else is really spooky an inside job yes an inside job which shows it's about the financial crisis of 2008 and it shows how these people go from being uh professors who recommend certain regulations and requirements that are ultimately terrible for the economy, and then they get promoted once they leave

as professors in whatever institution that they're at. Then they get these giant jobs that pay millions of dollars. It's like this weird little deal that they make. It's like this revolving door between, a lot of times, between government, private industry, higher education. It's like, yeah, it creates the oligarchy. It creates that aristocracy. But when the guy who, I don't remember who made that documentary,

but he's obviously very well read in finance and he understands how it all worked. Right. And he was questioning these people. And you see them falling apart in the documentary, in the middle of it, realizing that they've been trapped. Wow. And realizing that somebody understands the gig.

Somebody understands- Somebody knows what's up. This is what the hustle is. Yeah. It's so illuminating because they get arrogant and angry at him. Yeah. Well, it's like anything where you participate in it because you think it's a fluff piece. Yeah.

And also, you think that what you're doing is okay because it's what everyone does. Right. And then you're introduced to this other mode of thinking. Did you see the new article that came out that says they're allowing like tech companies to essentially form countries? I mean, this is like the craziest article that came out that people are sharing all over Twitter where they're like, it's like a lot of them have the power of countries anyway. Like you look at Amazon and Google and Facebook, they have the money of a country, They have a GDP of a mid-sized country or decent-sized country. And they have the political power. But there's this new article which is like

it talks about allowing them to actually it's crazy. It's like crazy thinking that they're... I did see the title of that article but I didn't read it because I didn't want to get sick. Yeah. I mean it's just... But I mean you will eventually they'll just have a google stand where

they just set up an island and they go we're googlestan and we pay what taxes we want and you know fuck you why not as long as they can go with don't be evil remember when they used to have that yeah that was comfortable evil or don't do evil don't be but by the way as soon as someone wants to do evil they google how that's the first thing as soon as someone wants to do evil, they Google how. That's the first thing. As soon as somebody wants to, how do I get away with murdering my wife on Google? Yeah, see, if you want to do that, use DuckDuckGo. It's way better and they don't save your history. Better search engine? That's what I use.

Interesting. Yeah, if I want to look up anything sketchy. So here's the thing about DuckDuckGo, too. It'll show you things that Google will hide from you. Wow. There was a doctor who that Google will hide from you. Wow. Like there was a doctor who died immediately after taking the vaccine. He was in his 50s, took the vaccine, had an adverse reaction, which, listen, it happens.

It is a part of medicine. It doesn't mean the vaccine's evil. It doesn't mean Bill Gates is trying to kill everyone. But if you do search that on Google, it's really difficult to find to find so i put in doctor in his 50s dies vaccine could not find it for the life of me i use the exact same sentence put in duck duck goes on the first page yeah you can get right away interesting they're not curating your search well they also hid that that black west indian doctor that african doctor god's battle action weapon of war they they they got doctor, God's battle axe and weapon of war. They got rid of her.

What is that? God's battle axe and weapon of war. Is that what she calls herself? Yeah, on her Twitter profile, and they got rid of her. And I was like, I wanted to listen to her. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She calls herself God's battle axe and weapon of war? Oh, yeah, on her Twitter. And they got rid of her on Google. You couldn't find her. Wasn't she in a strip mall? She had a little office in a strip mall? Yeah, she had like a witch doctor thing in a strip mall with like those beads that you probably walked through.

It looked like a scene from Gremlins. Those beads in the 80s. Yeah, like 80s beads. Yeah. Of a video store. Oh yeah, she probably had a shag carpet. She was probably sitting there smoking a butt. You know, going, I'll tell you the realities of this thing. Well, the thing is that she was talking about hydroxychloroquine, right?

She said it was like the drug and she would just take it when she grew up on Sundays. That's what she said. I don't think that's what she said. No, she was on the Candace Owens show. God's battle axe and weapon of war. Yes, this woman is who I follow. But here's the thing about that hydroxychloroquine. The fucking problem with Donald Trump is anything that was effective

or anything that was true that was associated with Donald Trump was immediately rejected. Yes. Whether it was the idea that, we were talking before the podcast, that I had on an evolutionary bio, I had on Brett Weinstein.

Yeah. Brett Weinstein was one of the first people that was talking about, it is most likely that this virus emanated from a lab and it's not a big stretch and he had a good argument when you watched his argument it was a solid argument he's a scientist right he's a legitimate scientist he's a brilliant person yeah and he was saying that if you look at all of the various aspects of this virus when you look at it it's it's much more likely especially with the fact that there's

a level four lab in wuhan right there this is not like some crazy stretch yeah it's crazy that i don't understand why people think it's crazy what their investment is it's it's trump it's all political yeah it's all about trump because i'm like if who like why are we treating it with such hostility why are we treating that possibility with such hostility? And the only thing is, yeah, that Trump came out and said it. Well, the problem is politics in this country are essentially, they've reached this boiling point where the idea of promoting a civil war is not outside of the realm of possibility. It's in this space. Right. civil war is not outside of the realm of possibility it's in this it's in the space right like what they're doing is anyone on that side is either a fucking snowflake or a communist

or a fool or and everyone on this spot space is a nazi and a right wing fascist and a terrible person and there's no gray area and in this you're seeing this with with this storm that we're having here people are people i do think that people don't have the energy anymore because i've been seeing it on twitter and i think that i think i think we're a few weeks or months away from who cares yeah i think biden kamala i think they're very boring i think no one's gonna care i think the far right and the far left, they both lost, right? Like the people that are hardcore Trump people lost. The people that are hardcore on the far left don't like Biden.

I just don't think that everyone's going to live in this 24-hour political world forever. It's exhausting. I think it's over. I think comedy is going to go back to being goofy and silly, and people that made a living strictly talking about Trump or strictly talking about politics are going to have a tough time of it i think you know after the iraq war that's when like that alternative comedy scene started where people like started walking around with like top hats and can't it's like because after the iraq war and the mortgage crisis nobody wanted to hear about anything serious so i think if we put a

few months uh a few months down the road no one's going to hear i want to hear about covet or donald trump i think people are just ready for the next thing so i'm hoping that this all kind of becomes more boring and silly and goofy and fun and more human well i hope people come to their senses and realize that we have more in common than we have indifference right and that's that's the reality being a person like my neighbor is a a crazy biden supporter super nice person like i i i like them right you know and i i i don't think that there's a if you look at what people want what do they want in terms of in in times of crisis like it was agreed it was a

fairly short-lived crisis in austin today's 40 something degrees and the roads are clear and you could drive around and most people's water is coming back on most people have power there's but in times of crisis you you realize that what is important what's really important this is dark right staying alive That's it. Feeding your family. Right. And taking care of your loved ones. Yes.

Hey, do you guys need food? We have food. Yeah. Do you guys need wood? We have wood. You have a fireplace? And I would add to that your social media brand. You have to always safeguard that as well.

I'm so glad you got me out of that. I was reported. I was on a serious road. I was reported for cutting line at a Whataburger. I've lived here for a week. That's a criminal offense. Here's the reality. This is Texas.

I was, a Whataburger was the only thing open. Why did you cut the line? I didn't. And why'd you cut the line with California plates? In a fucking Range Rover. There's this new game they're playing. You were in a Range Rover? I was in a Range Rover with California plates.

That's everything wrong. I know, and I had that stupid Bape hoodie on, that hype beast hoodie. But I turned, and there's some dude in an F1. Because here's the deal. There were two lines converging on the Whataburger. I was in one line, but the other line had like three or four cars. I didn't know that it was one and one. I didn't know that it was one car and then one car.

I didn't know that. I don't know what you're saying. Well, meaning when you have one line's coming in this way and I'm coming in that way. We're supposed to let one car from my line and then one car from the other line. What did you do? After my guy went, I went as well because I didn't know that that was a legitimate line because my line was much longer and there was no reason that people couldn't just be on my line. They had started another shorter line and were weaving are you justifying cutting the line i'm

saying range rover support me with the airbnb so i can watch the dishes i'm confused oh there you are is this your car if so what's this guy's name put his put his name up there no it's neighbors what kind of rats are we dealing with well let's find out first of all they're the kind of rats that put a space after so and then a comma so and then double question marks is this your car if so i hope cutting the line at water burger made you feel like a man did it i felt good okay and that you and your idiot co-pilot, your co-pilot, Dan, got a good snicker out of it like D-bags, like you tend to do. Oh, D-bags like you tend to do.

Please remove your sorry ass back to California, or at least out of our community, you sorry POS. Wow. First of all, can we stop with the Facebook ratting? This is unacceptable Well what's more unacceptable You cutting the line or them calling you out Let's be real

Well it's supposed to be a tough state Come and shoot me don't rat me out on fucking Facebook Ratting is never appropriate So you really genuinely If you were on ecstasy right now Would you admit that maybe you kind of thought Something was wrong? I didn't know that I did the wrong thing

Until after I had done it But you already did it I had already done it, so I didn't know how this worked What you could have done is pay for the guy behind you Say, fuck, I messed up Get out of your car You go, hey buddy, what'd you order? I'm sorry, I fucked up I'll sponsor the Facebook ad where he shits on me

How about that? I'll pay for him to boost his post. I didn't know who it was. It was uncensored. I didn't know who it was, but if he wants me to boost his post where he calls me a piece of shit, I'll pay for that. What if we get that guy, figure out who it is, and get him some tickets to one of your shows? I'll do that. I'll absolutely do that.

We need to make this right. If he finds me or whatever, I'll absolutely do it. But it's like I've had a real bad string of people i was thrown off airbnb this is a fact you did not support me on this i did you did not you said uh he should have done the dishes this was your dishes joe but you shouldn't have been thrown off of airbnb okay well you shouldn't leave dirty dishes joe we pay a 450 cleaning fee oh airbnb 450 they do this scam now. They call it COVID cleaning, which is

fake because regular cleaning and COVID cleaning are the same thing. Cleaning is cleaning. You're not going in there with hazmat suits. Why'd you leave the plates? What do you mean? What? Why didn't you just clean the plates? Because this is a vacation. Are you supposed to clean the plates? I don't know what the rules are, but

I don't like the service if that's the case. I want... You feel like you should be able to leave dirty plates. If I pay $450 for a cleaning fee, you should... And the thing is, there were two lesbian women and I mentioned that and that's why I was kicked off Airbnb because they thought...

Because you mentioned their sexual orientation. I mentioned they were a lesbian and they had a horribly designed house and they should have... Maybe asked a gay guy or someone to fix house and they should have maybe asked a gay guy or someone to fix it. Well, as a gay guy, what have you done? What would you have done, rather, to fix it? Well, all the furniture you couldn't sit in. It was like art pieces.

All of the furniture was like a little... You couldn't sit in or Tony Hinchcliffe couldn't sit in? Tony Hinchcliffe is a bird. He can perch on things. I'm a human. I'm an American human. We can't sit

on a fucking leather cowhide chair. It's an art piece. What's wrong with the piece? It was a chair of sticks with leather cowhide. There were these weird stools. Did you take pictures of these things? I took all the photos. I put them on my Instagram. I was like, these are not for human beings.

These are for like lesbians to drink tea and perch and whatever. But like I need- Why lesbians though? Why do you care about their sexual orientations? That's why you're going to kick off? Because they're insufferable. They were insufferable. They wore little hats and had a dog.

Little hats. They had little weird hats and they had a dog. Do you like big hats? Yeah, but like- You don't like dogs? Not not the they had like a weird weimer reiner i just knew who they were i knew who they i could see the photo and when i knew and they probably saw my photo when i hate that fat conservative fuck or whatever even though i'm really in the middle politically and even weight wise but in this state but they got mad at me and they got me off airbnb because i discussed this on my podcast in a colorful manner and like i quote unquote threatened to burn their house down as a joke i'm not burning your house down

it's a bit i'm not gonna burn your house down but i said like watch your back who knows what happens to joke but these women don't get jokes. And it's not my fault. But to give me a horrible review. How did they find out that you talked about them online on your show? It's a decent sized show. So I think, yeah. Yeah.

It's big. I mean, it's OK. You guys win. But it's big enough where if we say something on it, it got back to them. One of their back to them. One of their minions told them. And they were, first of all, they asked me to give them a good review, which you're not allowed to do in the Airbnb process. Right before I wrote the review, I've never given anyone a bad review on Airbnb.

I don't do it. I'm not a rat. They texted me and said, hey, our cleaning lady came, had a stroke, LOL, but just give us a good review. And I'm like. She said LOL? Yeah. I was like, I don't know why she had a stroke, because it's literally dishes.

Has your cleaning lady not encountered dishes before? There's no- If they took black light and scanned the walls, they wouldn't be surprised? There's nothing. I even left them a tartar sauce and said, use it, because we didn't use it. Kind. So, yeah, but Dick, I mean, look at that. I like it.

Oh, God, of course. Of course you do This is mentalist Is that a fireplace? Which you can't use because they're not insured for it What is that square hole? It was a fireplace that you can't use It's weird dude It's a fireplace that's like chest level

It's a cold environment Isn't that weird? Aren't fireplaces supposed to be on the ground floor? Like, why is it... The whole house is crazy. That's really a fireplace? I mean, they're culturally appropriating Native America. It's just the whole thing makes me sick.

Maybe they're Native American. You don't know. They are not. How do you know? Because I've seen them. But what about Elizabeth Warren? That's a good point. But I was...

That fireplace is in a weird place. It's weird. The whole house is weird. It's a pizza oven. The whole house is weird. And I just pizza oven. The whole house is weird. And I just left. There was a few dishes in the sink. Show me that picture again.

And the review of me was like, this guy was a horrible guest. They said I broke a cactus, which is literally impossible. You can break cactuses. How? By crunching the spikes with my hands? You fall on them when you're on ecstasy. Yeah. I mean, these-

I don't understand what I'm looking at. Correct. So there's like a log- 1,000 a night, 1,200 a night. I like it. I got it for half. I'd stay there. Oh, no.

I really would. It's absolutely repulsive. I would sit in those chairs and be really comfortable. Joshua Tree is a litter box for drug addicts. No, it's for people who like to do mushrooms and find themselves. Oh, enough. Grow up and get a real drug problem. Take a Percocet at your office, okay?

Not everything has to be a journey to hyperspace. Not everything, but some things. Sure. I just am a fan of pill heads and coke heads. I like people that are productive. But you're in Joshua Tree. That's the place where psychedelic people go. I used to do acid and go to a bar like a person.

Right, right, right. I get it. I would be a subprime mortgage guy. I would do acid and i would cross off like if i did dmt i would go and when you meet the aliens and they give you all the information about how the world is i would have tried to sell them condos you know i would have brought them into my world i like it relaxation happens here i bet it does yeah washing dishes that sounds relaxing i don't like the bars On the chair The square It was horrible Like sitting on that

The Where I wouldn't know Where to put my hands I'd probably put them Below those metal bars This is really Look at that lady

I like how she's sitting Fuck Wait go back to that The pool was cold Can you go back to that picture That lady's hot I like that This is

Well they're fat phobic She's naked She's naked Yeah this is what They're trying to do here They're upset That human beings Rented their apartment That lady's hot. I like that. This is, well, they're fat phobic. She's naked. She's naked. Yeah, this is what they're trying to do here. They're upset that human beings rented their apartment. It's hard to tell because it's in black and white, but she's hot. I like how she's just reading.

She's like, even though I'm hot, I just want to educate myself. And this is another lady. This is who they want. Yeah, that's realistic. Look at the guy. Yeah, that's realistic. Look at the guy. Look at his six pack. He hasn't eaten in months.

That's realistic. That guy's shredded, and he's hanging out with his super hot girlfriend. There's a few dishes in that sink. Tim Dillon, I want to buy this house. This is a great place. Can you stop? I like it. Yeah, that.

Ooh, it's a high five. Yeah. That's a high five. Oh, is it? Yeah. That's a high fidelity sound system. It was not conducive to having fun at all. Dude, when Manson was running around killing people, that was the shit.

I didn't say anything bad about it. Look at that view. you can see the cactus and the coyotes oh isn't that good i fucking love it i you loved it so much you move states i would listen i could look at this i mean come on that's that's that's we're starting to get crazy talking to the wrong guy i love this house i know i love the chairs well listen i don't look at the chair look at that chair i don't believe Look at that chair I don't believe in Backstreet chairs Because I have good posture Look at how I sit I left Four dishes And these people

Treated me But why the fuck Didn't you just clean Those four dishes And we'd have no problem Because I'm paying A massive cleaning fee Why

Save that money Don't make me starving You have to pay You have to You're forced to Is that the cactus you broke No that's a cactus It was broke when I walked in Was it broke It was Because somebody was probably I don't? No that's the cactus It was broke when I walked in

Was it broke? It was Because somebody was probably I don't know Shoving in their pussy It was broke when I walked in The most epic hallway You've ever seen

Yeah Is that really Is that the most epic hallway You've ever seen? That's not true I've been to some nice houses That's not true I like that espresso machine though

It's all fine I like a lot of this house I like this house It's all fine I do I like this house a lot It's all fine The women were out of control.

And again, if you look at my review, I said nice things. I think I've always said nice things. I think I need to be your liaison to lesbians. I've always said nice things. And they just said to me, like, I was a horrible guest. If you look at their review of me, they said I was a horrible guest. Why were you horrible? Well, they said I left the house in disarray and I broke the cactus and whatever.

Nobody broke anything. You know what you should do? Well, you can't do it anymore because you're not in an Airbnb anymore. But you should just make a video of you leaving the house in disarray and I broke the cactus and whatever and nobody broke anything you know what you should do well you can't do it anymore because you're not in an Airbnb anymore but you should just make a video of you leaving the house and then no one can say shit well I'd like to get back on Airbnb

because I made them I did I spent money on there and that's where I would go and use to travel and not do hotels I would do Airbnb it's a good move

especially when you have an opener and you have people you come up with people you go to Whole Foods get some nice yeah it's much better nice food so I'd like to go back on Airbnb some nice food. Yeah, it's much better. So I'd like to go back on Airbnb, but we'll see what happens.

That's okay. Is there an avenue for reconciliation? I don't believe so. These ladies, whoever you are, ladies, Tim's a good guy, and I'm your fan. I'm a fan of you. I like what you did with that place. I like it. I like the chairs with no backs to them.

I like it. I like the weird chairs. I like your view. I like to them. I like it. I like the weird chairs. Yes. I like your view. I like your house. Look at that. You can sit out there by the pool and watch that guy with the ripped abs and his girlfriend. Fuck. I mean, this is like a FEMA tent. No, it's not.

It's a FEMA property. That's not. It's not. You get tarantulas and lizards. Scorpions. The whole thing. It's a nice little pool. It's a beautiful view.

Look, those people are enjoying it. Why can't you enjoy it? They're not real. Those people don't exist. The hot guy and his hot girlfriend, they're real. They're not real. They don't exist. They work out at the Onnit Gym.

They're right down the street. They hired these people. These are not Americans. They're a mile away from us. We can visit them right now. You're a Hollywood elitist. I speak for Americans. But I live here.

I know, but that doesn't matter. I speak for Americans who make hot dogs and sometimes leave the plates at the thing because we're paying a $450 cleaning fee. And I just think that we should be able to, you should be able to come in and clean it. You know what I mean? You love the house so much, you clean it, ladies. So anyway, I'd like to get back on there, but I won't be allowed and that's okay too. Maybe they will let you back on. I would imagine not.

I violated some safety protocol. I don't know. Which protocols? The safety one. Which one is the safety? The one where you can't threaten to burn down people's homes, I think. I spoke to my lawyer. He said to just leave it alone.

My lawyer was like, just leave it alone, because I don't know what you're doing. I'm like, I'm in a high-octane war with a few desert lesbians. There's two desert dykes that are gunning for me. And I'm going to fucking keep, I'm going to ride this until the wheels go off. And my lawyer's like, hey, man, what are you doing? What am I doing? I'm boosting up my fucking podcast. I'm trying to fight the good fight.

How do you think I get paid? That's what you tell them. How do you think I get paid? That's a good point. No. I didn't involve Alex Jones. Could have. Chose not to. Don't do that. I'm trying to fight the good fight. How do you think I get paid? That's what you tell them. How do you think I get paid? That's a good point. No. I didn't involve Alex Jones. Could have. Chose not to.

Don't do that. I'm kidding. That's nuclear. That's a nuclear option. That's a nuclear option. Yeah, don't. Because he'll find some reason why it's connected to it. He'll say the Airbnb didn't exist, but we'll figure it out.

He'll find some reason why it's connected to the globalists, Satanists, or something. Yeah, something. I got gotta see him I just got down here I haven't seen him I wanna go have dinner with him I'm very happy That people changed

Their opinion about him Yeah Slowly but surely They're understanding Why I've been friends With this guy for 20 years Yeah He's a fucking

Hugely entertaining person He's definitely Made some mistakes But I love that guy Jamie and I had dinner With him and Lex Friedman The other day We had a

How fun was that? It was great I mean I had a private podcast That no one else gets to We got a private room at Three Forks It's a great steak place here Fucking phenomenal steak place We sat down, we had so much fun

We had so much fun People get so mad that I'm friends with that guy That I hang out with him People get really angry He's a very interesting character If you look at the history of the type of stuff like alternative media or radio or uh whatever you you are forced to confront him at some point in that history right because he's this seminal figure in that movement and he's pissed off everyone that's ever existed

and everyone has at one time hated him. Republicans, Democrats, everybody. Well, initially, he was the guy that went after Republicans. He became prominent because he was going after George W. George W. was running for president. And he was kind of protesting at some of his press conferences and stuff. People think he's this right-wing lunatic because he supported Trump. I don't think that's who he is.

Bush just hated him. Yeah. He was one of the guys saying 9-11 has weird stuff going on early on. He was also one of the first people that legitimately educated people on the concept of agent provocateurs. Right. I did not know that that was a thing. I did not know that when there's an inconvenient peaceful protest and people need to understand that this is real Google agent provocateurs when there is

an or use DuckDuckGo they'll give you the real deal when there is a peaceful protest and it's inconvenient and the powers that be do not want it to be there what they do is they send in people wearing masks and dressing up in all black or in some sort of nondescript way. And they start making it a non-peaceful protest. They start smashing windows and lighting things on fire. Then the law enforcement can move in and shut down the protest. That is what happened at the World Trade Organization event in Seattle in 1999. And he detailed it like in depth and he showed step by step how this happened and how the

people that were the agent provocateurs were eventually released. He was always on the outside of politics. And then when he got in with Trump, he was kind of entering politics. And then when he entered, then it became a real issue because then people were like, oh, this guy's got sway and power. And that's when they started going after him from all the shit that he've said before look the guy does like five hours of uh talking radio and talking every day and a lot of times he's hammered well it's like and he's saying crazy shit and you know it's like rush limbaugh just died and a lot of people obviously have strong opinions about rush

limbaugh i remember i used to listen to rush limbaugh growing up. And Rush Limbaugh to me was always this funny, cartoonish figure who was a little wild. You knew what he believed and you knew what he purported to believe. And whether you agreed with him or not, he was this guy on the radio in the middle of the day for three hours a day for years. And he rarely had guests he rarely had took calls he just went he just went from the top of his head for three hours a day and and then they found out he was doing it on like 25 oxycontin a hundred a hundred a hundred a day i mean not only he did so much that he went deaf you understand that that's so crazy that fucking apparatus that he had connected to his head wow alex explained it to me there's another alex jones thing yeah but basically the way it That's so crazy. See that fucking apparatus that he had connected to his head? Wow.

Alex explained it to me. It was another Alex Jones thing. He's like, basically the way it works. He explained to me how if you do so much OxyContin, you literally can go deaf. Wow. He had his maid, I believe, buying them, and she got busted. But this was during the time where what they had was these pain management clinics yeah in florida and these pain management clinics are this was all exposed by the documentary the oxycontin express right um and uh what they would do is they would have these pain management

clinics you go oh my fucking back is killing me and they would go oh well you need oxycontin and they write a prescription and you literally go like right next door to where the bathroom is here and you would walk in there and that's the pharmacy and the pharmacy only prescribes oxycontin sounds lovely it's bananas and you would just get it and then you would become uh addicted and then you yeah i mean this is a huge problem and i know that uh that family the sackler family has kind of been ostracized from polite society now like people won't even take their donations for certain types of charities because they don't want to take you know the blood money a lot of that is because the woman i had on my podcast mariana van zeller mariana

she was she was what was the network that she did that for was it on that go2 i don't believe it was okay i think it was something different it was something different at the time she has a new show that's amazing it's called traffic yeah it's fucking incredible this lady she has titanic balls if she was a man they would they would be too big for her to walk it was a show called vanguard on current tv current tv um her new show called traffic she goes to columbia where they make cocaine and she's there every step of the way not only is she there but she hikes out backpacks with them and the new show's on nat geo right dude the new show crazy exposes how the fucking lapd like rogue agents in the lapd are trafficking guns to the cartels in mexico wow through la

because you know you can drive into mexico with no inspection you just drive so you don't give a fuck if you drive in so these guys were buying guns or taking guns from criminals and then selling them to the cartels. And she went with them every step of the way. She went with the people in Colombia. She showed them the chemists making the cocaine. See if you can get a video of this because it's fucking crazy. It's fucking nuts. Is the video online?

The video of the cocaine shit? Dude, it's so crazy. They're stomping on the stuff these are the coca leaves they're making the cocaine they pour like fucking gasoline those there's her right there there's mariana she's such a fucking creative courageous boots on the ground journalist and she hikes out with them they carry these fucking backpacks filled with cocaine like a million dollars worth of coke or three quarters of a million dollars worth of coke on their back.

Right. And they're walking 18 hours through the fucking jungle because you can't afford to have it in a car. You'll get pulled over. People steal it. This is such an interesting process, what they do, you know?

That lady is so courageous. She's tough. Dude, you've got to watch the show. Why does she do this? Is she like a big cocaine addict? Yeah, that's exactly what. Can't believe you ratted her out. She's tough. Dude, you've got to watch the show. Why does she do this? Is she like a big cocaine addict? Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about. She's a journalist. Can you hate drugs

if you're doing that? You've got to be a little curious. Just get a little coked up. Give me a little taste. It's easier to hike out. You've got to be a little curious if you're doing that. Imagine if she was just coked up hiking. You're like she has big balls. I'm like she's a crackhead. She's freebasing cocaine all that yeah she's out there doing coke good for her good for her and you know the you

see also there's a lot of myths like you think that like the people that are growing the cocaine are these like these evil cartels no they're farmers right the people growing the coca leaves are just poor farmers they need to do it they're out there in columbia drying them on the side of the road like on the side of the road they have like these blankets set out with coca leaves and they're drying them out and they sell them yeah to the cartel that's what like vice used to be yes vice used to be that now vice is like like running things where it's like pregnant women being discriminated against in mma and you're like what right veganism. Or veganism is racist. But that's what Vice used to be.

When it was fucking awesome, you would have little mini documentaries where people would go to towns that were from like, they go to Chernobyl or something. They go to really cool places. Well, Shane Smith, he did all that shit. He went to Chernobyl and they found these nuclear-powered wolves that were running around. Dude, shit like that was great.

Price was amazing. And then it just went crazy. Well, they sold it for a lot of money. It's unfortunate. And then they became woke. Were you a Limbaugh fan at any point? No. No, but did you ever listen to him?

Occasionally, like a bit of rage listening. Did he ever make you laugh? No. Really? He he ever make you laugh? No. Really? He used to make me laugh. He'd go, people say that I don't talk to working people. And then he'd go, I was on a chat the other day with Bill Parcells. He has a job.

Things like that would make me laugh. He was just a... But again, supposedly he did really bad stuff. When gay people died with AIDS, he like mocked them uh with a song or something which is like i haven't heard the song i don't know if it's good but i guess it's it was like he did bad shit he's not a moral paragon but i mean i don't know the dude he leaned into being that kind of evil kind of conservative cigar smoking you know suv driving live in a castle wait a minute i drove around an suv and i'm smoking a cigar right now. Uh-oh. What are you trying to say?

But he was also a big fat golfer, which you need, you are not. I don't know. But he was interesting, but anyone that talks for that long and obviously nobody's going to love them forever. No! You're not going to get love. It's not, you know,

part of the program is if you talk for that long you're going to anger people. It's going to anger them. But I always remember him as like a figure from my childhood where he would like always be on the, and he would just, my grandmother was big liberal, hated him. And I'd put him on in the car and she'd hate him. She'd go, shut it off. Well, that was am radio was always conservative just crotchety bob grant yes i remember that guy i remember bob grant i used to

listen in new york when i'm on my way to gigs yeah he'd be like get off my phone you know like these people were very to me just listening to this world of it was very funny to me like people get emotional and angry and yell at each other and i was driving around the suburbs like this is kind of an interesting world because it's an interesting entrance point into culture is that there's a bunch of people that are fucking angry my favorite was phil hendry he's brilliant he's brilliant so phil hendry's brilliant for people to know what phil hendry would do phil hendry would play both sides he would be one guy he would be phil hendry and then he'd be another guy this ridiculous outrageous a guest who would say things that are preposterous and not true but it would also be phil he would use a voice machine so he would alter his voice right and then he would have

callers and callers would call him this guy's full of shit right this guy's a liar he was also doing that he would not always not always but he would like, every now and then he would do like four or six voices in a bit. And it was amazing. And then people didn't know. People were shocked when they found out that he was one guy having an argument with four people.

And you're like, this is one guy. That level of talent's amazing. Oh, he was brilliant. And still is. Is he still around? Is he still doing it? I mean, he's got a Twitter account. I'm looking him up. It's a tricky thing because once people find out, then

if everyone's in on the joke, the joke doesn't work. You have to have a bunch of rubes out there that don't understand what he's doing or a bunch of people that have never listened before. Or can just appreciate it at least for what it is. There he is. The Phil Hendry Show. I ran into him. Who are all those other people? Those characters that he plays? Is he a Boston guy? No, he's an L.A. I ran into him. Who are all those other people? Those characters that he plays?

Is he a Boston guy? No, he's an L.A. guy, I believe. He was on in L.A. That's when I listened to him. But I hung out with him. Me and him and Stan Hope did some thing together with a couple other people in, I believe it was Montreal, some interview show.

And he was a lovely guy, like a really nice guy. guy yeah was supremely talented in a way that very few people are and can do that and he's really like uh he's gracious like when i said i go dude i really love your show i love it i love what you're doing i love the the nonsense of it i love the chaos yeah it creates amazing and he got a giggle out of it it's amazing it. Who's happy? It is. Because guys like Rush obviously had politics, so they would do three hours a day, but it's one topic. Yeah. But a guy like Phil is just different all the time, the amount of prep work that goes into that, the amount of ingenuity and imagination is crazy.

Here's a good point. Do you think that a guy like Rush is pure, meaning that these are his real opinions, or do you think that he finds a lane that he can be successful in? I think it's a bit of both. Do a lot of Oxycontin and bang a lot of women and drive around in a Rolls Royce and smoke cigars and just talk craziness. Probably a little bit of both because one starts to reinforce the other. That's a problem with characters.

Yeah. We see that with comics. Right. Like Dice is a perfect example, who with comics. Right. Like Dice. It's a perfect example. Who I love. Right. Love Dice.

Dice used to be Andrew Silverstein. And the Dice Man was one of the characters that he did. Right. And then he just became that guy. Yeah. But that was the great character. That was the guy. But he became that guy.

Yeah. He leaned into it. The same thing with Kinison. Right. Right. Kinison was a comic who became sam kinnison when he became famous and he brilliant comic pentecostal preacher crazy wild man speaking in tongues all that shit tent revivals and then when he became famous he became he talked about it

openly that it became like known as being like this guy who could do insane drugs so they would lay out a fucking line of coke as long as this table. He'd snort it off. He'd be like, it's him! It's him! Lay the drugs out! And he would lay them out and snort it off. And I'd be like, oh my god, I'm gonna fucking die. Is it hard to be beaten out of his chest? It's interesting. I think

Rush started kind of like Alex. Rush started as a very somewhat conspiratorial, outside the mainstream voice on a small radio station. And then I think he found the way to really make money was to take a side and stick with it. Yeah, but that's the thing, right? It's like you find a place where you're – and it's difficult for all of us. But he did define –

But don't you think that's difficult for all of us? It's hard for everybody. But when you find a place where you're successful, it's hard to... We personally, without naming names, we've seen it in people. Yes. Like the right lures them in. Yes. And then they lean into it like, yeah, you're right, you're right.

And then they go into that and you see them change. You see like, oh, you're not the same person who you were a year ago. Well, it's the way you said it best, where it's like, if that's how you get attention, you keep getting attention yes and i think with rush he he started to define this landscape where he became there the mainstream media in america's decidedly you know left-leaning i mean obviously it's a it's a for-profit commercial space capitalist space everything like that but left-leaning in the optics. And Rush was kind of that conservative voice on radio. He was the insurgency, so to speak,

against that popular culture. And he defined that space kind of more than anybody. And he was like, you know, he became this grandfather of that type of conservative radio. And all the people that didn't feel represented, they finally had a guy. Yeah. And they would give him so much love. They loved him.

And they would drive around with him. It's an interesting medium, radio. It's very personal because you're driving around. A lot of times you're alone. And a lot of times you're not happy. And then you connect with this person on the radio who's there all the time. So they're there every day at the same time. Well, that's the same thing as podcasts.

It is. Well, podcast is the evolved form of that. But podcast, people are more engaged as a listener because they got to seek it out. They got to, but they still feel very, but radio, you would just turn the dial and then some guy's talking. Yeah.

It was wild. Yeah. Podcasts, the other thing about podcasts, and this is a thing that I've been talking to Spotify about, as much as people hate the comment section of YouTube, I think it's important. Sure. And I think it's one of the reasons why I still have clips on YouTube was an imperative. It was one of the things that I wanted, period. I was like, you have to have clips.

We have to have clips up available right if you don't want to put the whole show on and eventually originally the whole show was going to be on YouTube and then the prop this is what happened I'll tell everybody when the Elon Musk episode happened the first one I did when I got him to smoke weed and then there's this viral moment my manager said to Spotify listen you have to have video because they didn't want it to be on YouTube and that was the deal breaker I was like it has to be on video it listen, you have to have video because they didn't want it to be on YouTube. And that was the deal breaker. I was like, it has to be on video. It has to.

You have to have something, some video aspect of it. That's where you get a viral moment. You don't get an audio viral moment. You need video. You need to see Elon go, you need to see that. You need to see that. And then they're like, you're right. Let's do video.

And then they got into video and that's one of the reasons why there's so many hiccups in the transition between youtube and what we're doing right now where they're in i can't talk too much but a lot of it is going to improve there's a lot of stuff that they're on the verge of releasing which will help a lot in terms of people having access to the video portion of the show but you you gotta have comments i think comments are important because it gives people this sense that they're they can having access to the video portion of the show. But you've got to have comments. I think comments are important because it gives people the sense that they can talk about it. They can talk shit.

They like to criticize. They like to pile on. They like to have their own little thing. Yeah. And I think that's... It's an important part of the show. That's missing on talk radio, right? On talk radio, they don't have that.

It is missing on that. However, talk radio before the comment section was like this weird original comment section where people would call up and then they'd have regular callers. So like you have the guys that have the top comment. Everyone's fighting to get that top comment or whatever. You had regular callers that would call in. And Bob Grant, there's one guy who was called call in and and bob grant you know there's one guy who's called bob grant he goes you know come on get out with it i know you want to talk

about the jews you know because this was just an anti-semitic guy who would just start from anywhere he'd be like you know the columbus day parade you know and then the problem with hot dogs yeah it would just go right to jews so bob so you'd have these regular crazy callers and it was the beginning of like all these weird things, like Reddit or any of these things. Because they would send Bob Grant and all these people. They would send them song parodies. They would send them artwork. They would send them...

It was just this weird... That's where everyone's like, where is this? All this male anger. It's like it was there. It's always there. Male anger. Yeah, whatever it is. It's like there's always frustrated people that are angry.

You got to give them an outlet. and the outlet should be kind of funny. Isn't it interesting that female versions of podcasts, when you come to female anger, what are the top female podcasts? It's Guys We Fucked, right? Yeah. Well, they're not, no, because they're on Lumosity. What's the other one? Call Her Daddy.

Call Her Daddy is the big one. But what it is, they're girls talking about stuff that they would talk about if they were hanging out with their friends where no one was listening. It's not political. Or murder. That's a big one.

They love murder. They love serial killer shows. They love murder. And they love those A&E unsolved mysteries. Well, there's a lot of women out there that are like i hope someone cares enough about me to throw me in a trunk that's not what it is that's i think that's a lot of what they're vulnerable well sure there's part of that understand what psychosexual thing sure no that's not what i'm saying no they want to understand the male violence they don't they don't see. They don't have that aspect of their brain.

Yes. But I also think some of them are like, hey, doesn't that sound nice? Well, the only female serial killer that's on record that we know of is Eileen Wuornos. Eileen Wuornos. Yeah. Who made that movie Monster. My friend Patty, she directed that. Crazy.

She made it. Yeah. It's a great movie. It's an amazing movie. It's about, and she would just kill johns yeah but only when they fucked with her i think no no she killed him all the time okay she fucking hated those guys well she was abused and raped and i know but you know i don't know that's a fucking that shows you how good she's charlene theron she's great shirley's story she well isn't she the one that

plays all the asian parts people get mad no that, that's the Scarlett Johansson. Right. Thank you for correcting me. You're gay. You don't care about these women. I don't really care about these women. I don't care about... I mean, I know who they are. I think they're good actresses.

There's a big difference. Yeah, I'm not following Scarlett Johansson's career. I do like when she plays an Asian, though. I think that's good. I don't think it was an Asian. I think she was playing a Caucasian in a role that was traditionally an Asian role. Well, I support whatever she wants to do. Me too.

I think she should play Queen Latifah in a biopic. Whatever she wants. I don't think that's advised. I'm all for chaos and people getting mad. Didn't she back out of a movie where she was supposed to play a trans person? Yeah. She's always the one. Is that true, Jamie?

It's always her that she's always going to play someone that she shouldn't play. It's always like Scarlett Johansson is going to play Maya Angelou. And everyone's like, what the fuck? Everyone's like, no. And then she comes out. She's like, I just didn't realize the deep pain. And I'm like, own it. Scarlett Johansson is Harriet Tubman.

Yeah, she's Harriet Tubman. Just go out and own it and be like, I am Maya Angelou. Fuck you if you can't see it. I'm the greatest actress that ever lived. Yeah, she's Harriet Tubman, but they just CGI her't see it. I'm the greatest actress that ever lived. Stop with the apologizing. But they just CGI her to make her black. It's not blackface. Right.

I'm all for it. It's no different than Avatar. It's acting. It's acting. Yeah. So. Yeah. She's an interesting character.

Did you ever see that movie? I think it's called Under the Skin. It's an indie science fiction movie with Scarlett Johansson. I don't think so. It's one of my favorite science fiction movies. It's an indie science fiction movie with Scarlett Johansson. I don't think so. It's one of my favorite science fiction movies. It's really interesting. She plays an alien that I just got to remember the premise. An illegal alien?

No, she's an actual alien. Like an actual alien from another planet. And I forget what she does. Disguising herself as a human female, an extraterrestrial drives around Scotland attempting to lure unsuspecting men into her van. Once there, she seduces and sends them to another dimension where they're nothing more than meat. That's kind of fucking cool. It was a good movie.

That's pretty cool. 63% like this movie, and yeah, 37% are just pussies. It was a good movie. It's weird. It's a weird movie. You gotta see it. It's real weird.

Under the Skin TV series. Wait, wait, wait. wait back up back up to what you just had tv series leads to bidding wars oh there's a tv series based on it i wonder if scarlett johansson's gonna be in that too see the thing is like part of it she's oddly beautiful right like she like look at that picture in the middle, the up top. She's very pretty. She's very pretty, but in a weird way. Like, undeniably beautiful, but untraditional in some ways. Yeah. Like, exotic.

Yeah. Kind of. Weird. Like, you would think she wouldn't buy in any bullshit. Right. Like, pretty, but probably too smart for her own good. He's the writer on Saturday Night Live, right? Yeah.

She's married to him. Yeah, they're married. Weekend Update. Good dude. Really good guy. You like him? You know him? He's a really good guy.

When I opened for him at Caroline's years ago, he gave me extra money. He's just a really class act good guy. Friendly guy. Dress is nice. Dress is nice. Good dude. Beautiful hair. Yeah.

No, he's a good dude. He wins. He wins. He wins. He's like a Harvard guy. He wins. He's killed it. He wins He's like a Harvard guy He's killed it He just killed it in life Don't they have a baby together or something?

I don't know them that well She has a baby right? They might Does she have a baby previous to him? I don't give a fuck about that But here's the thing She might be pretending to be pregnant She's pretending to have pregnant. She's pretending

to have a baby. She's full of shit. She is a mom. Her child's Asian. I don't think that's true. But I'm a fan. I like her. I'm available.

But there was a movie where she got in trouble. I was looking that up. Yeah, here it is. Scarlett Johansson faced criticism for wanting to play a trans man in Rub and Tug. First of all, the name alone. Rub and Tug? Perfect.

It was announced that Johansson wanted to play Dante Text Gill, a trans man who ran a massage parlor and prostitution ring in Pittsburgh in the 1970s and 80s. There was pushback asserting that a trans actor should have a chance to play the part. Shut the fuck up. Find me a trans actor that everybody knows that's going to sell tickets the way Scarlett Johansson does. You've got to understand there's a business involved in making movies. That's a good point. That's a great point. It's not just about...

It doesn't invalidate her. She's an actress. If she plays a superhero, okay? When she plays Black Widow or whatever the fuck it is. Right. She's not really a fucking superhero. She's not. Or a spider.

What is the one? Is it Black Widow? She's not really a fucking superhero. Guys. Right. She's not, or a spider. What is the one, is it Black Widow? Yeah, she's not really a fucking superhero. Guys. Right. She's acting. Yeah.

Like, why can't a, a regular heterosexual woman play a trans man? Why, why not? I don't know. Why?

I think people are, people are like, hey, give the trans person, but here's the thing. How many people though? Here's the thing. Of course.

And also, they gotta make money. So they got, like, movies are cast. And also, they've got to make money. Movies are cast. I just spoke to a big director recently, and I didn't even realize this. Are you dropping names? He told me I was going to be in something, and I submitted the audition, and I didn't get it. And then I lost $1,800 on AMC stock, and I thought I was going to retire.

So can someone call Dave Portnoy and ask for my money where's the line holding I'm fuck now he's busy sampling pizza so I talked to his director he goes listen he goes

they he goes they they cast a movie based on box office numbers of course I mean it's like it's no one cares

yeah if you're doing a movie fucking math and you feel like you're the perfect person for the role but Marky Mark wants that part it's over it's wants that part, it's over. It's over.

It's over. It's over. So I don't know who they're replacing me with. The Rock. Probably Amy Schumer. Probably The Rock. Amy Schumer. From me to The Rock, I think it's tough.

From me to Amy Schumer, I think 30 yards, it's the same actor. I don't think it's even 30. But, yeah, I mean, you know, Hollywood's, it's a tough thing now it's even tougher right who the fuck is going to go to a movie theater now it's also the idea of like represent it's like if my grandparents and all the people that came to this country wanted to be fucking comedians or actors we'd all be fucking dead thank god they had real jobs you want more trans people the fucking post office you don't want trans people gay people or anybody to throw their lives away on this crazy profession that works out for such a small percentage of people that try it. It's crazy.

What is the percentage? I mean, there's a better chance of being a professional comic. That's a small one, too. Yeah, it's small, but at least it's self-actualized. To a degree. To a degree. To a degree. Listen, if you're undeniable, if you're really funny, you keep going.

Some people think they're undeniable. Yeah, but that's wrong. But if you literally are funny, I mean, that's like fighters. Some guys think they can kick everyone's ass. Yeah, they're wrong. They find out. They meet Kamaru Usman. They get fucking brain damaged.

They got killed. Yeah. Listen, there's a lot of people out there that think they're the shit. think they're the shit but comedy is on it's a it's it's it at the end of the day it really is something that in a sense it's pure sure because you know i had this conversation with ali wong she's like do you think comedy is a meritocracy and i said i think it's one of the rare ones it really is she goes i agree right it's like it is if you are up there and you make them laugh like one of the things that's the saddest to me is watching people who are talented to a degree but lazy and they blame other extraneous outside forces and pressures for why they didn't make it in

stand-up comedy i'm like man that's rarely the case. Look at Joey Diaz. There's a lot of people that just don't fit any fucking mold, but they're so undeniable that they make it. Yeah. So what stops someone from achieving success? Well, a lot of times it's a lack of introspection. It's a lack of objectivity. It's a lack of looking at your act and saying,

well, why aren't people showing up? Right. Why aren't people filling these clubs? Why aren't people filling the theaters? What's happening here? I also think it's a tough thing. You got to get into it at the right time. You got to be ready to do it.

Got to be ready. You got to have your vices in check. Or not. Or not. Here's the big one. I think that's unrecognized i think i've really zeroed in on yeah it's community right we support each other if we don't support each other we don't we don't mean as much well that's a hundred percent right means but it's one of the reasons why so many guys are thinking about coming out here to austin yeah

because they know that we'll support them i think it's still a tough thing to do, even with all that stuff. And you've got to be ready to go to war. Like, you've got to be ready to fight for 10 years or however long it takes. At least 10 years. Yeah, at least 10. And it's a very tough thing to do. But that's what makes it special. And all the things you said are important.

But, like, you meet certain people and you go, that guy could have been really funny or that girl could have been really funny, but like, you know, they get off the train, they get married, they get sidetracked, they get lazy and they have lives.

Also, some of them have lives. Some of them get lazy and they don't write enough. They don't write enough. Yeah. A lot of them get lazy. They don't do enough. A lot of them don't do like a podcast or don't do like,

well, I try to do, I try to do like a bunch of be funny on a bunch of different platforms, which saved my life because when the stage was taken away, I was like be funny on a bunch of different platforms, which saved my life because when the stage was taken away, I was like, okay, well, I have this podcast. I can make these funny videos and we could do these things. My God. I need to create shit and make shit.

Well, not just that. You also need to be active. Some people aren't crazy enough, Joe. Some people aren't crazy enough. You've got to be a little crazy. Well, they're not crazy enough in the right ways. Sometimes they're crazy, but're crazy in this blame everybody else way, which is really dangerous.

It's really dangerous because you can get people to agree with you and then it doesn't help you. If you blame everybody else, the problem with that is there's no solution because everybody else is the problem. But if you look at yourself and you go, how could I have maximized my impact

i like what have i done wrong i like to do both like i like to work very hard and still blame others that's not bad i like to still be cynical and angry and blame everyone but also work very hard i like what you're saying those are very few people do that but i don't want to lose my negativity and my ability to say fuck these people but i also work very hard but most people can't do but most people go well fuck it then and i'm like very hard but most people can't do but most people go well fuck it then and i'm like i'll complain for a half hour and then i go all right i'm gonna go do all the stuff i gotta do and people like really it's like yeah it's what i do well that that fuck it then is a fucking dangerous perspective dangerous yeah because it doesn't

help you and it's like you've you've encountered a puzzle and you got to think about it like a boss in a video game like you hit that final level and you can't figure out how to beat it and you're like it's not possible right but it is possible because other people have beaten it other people have done it you know like i had this conversation with my mom at one point in time where she was just you know she was saying like uh she was talking to me about comedy it just seems so hard like i go but but you've seen professional comedians that you like right right they did it oh yeah i go what what do you think is the difference right she was like i don't think you're funny yeah well that gave you the motivation you need no no it was i thought it

was hilarious because my mom is a wonderful person yeah she's you know it's not a job for everyone my mom is but my mom this is the thing it's like my mom is not wonderful person. Yeah. But she's, you know. It's not a job for everyone. My mom is, but my mom, this is the thing. It's like, my mom is not a supportive person in the sense that she's never said, you can do anything. Right. She's always been like, whoa, I don't know why you're doing that. Right. But that was the case with martial arts.

That was the case with everything. And that's a lot of people's moms. But it's not a bad thing. No. Because they worry about the odds of you being successful. I think the worst thing is a parent who goes, you can do everything. That is worse.

That's bad because you can't. I mean, the advice that my generation got was very like pie in the sky. It was like, you can do anything you want, follow your dreams, but it was like there was no next part of that, which is like, by the way, work, sacrifice, risk. You got to tolerate levels of risk, right?

I think that's part of it with comedy. You got to tolerate levels of risk. You got to do something part of it with comedy you gotta tolerate levels of risk, you gotta do something for a while, not earn money, hope it works out and then you gotta you know it's a little risky and depending on where you are in your life some people are better suited to do that than others you also have to accept the grind

and some people they want a break, they want a point where they cross the finish line and they're done, can't, they made it yeah i made it and there's a real problem with comics who cross that finish line in terms of like they get on a television show and then we used to see that at the store all the time people who were decent comics but they would get sandwiched in between jessel neck diaz shafir right me right and they would get stuck in the middle of that, and they would just eat shit, and they would be angry, and they'd be angry at the store.

Right. And it's not the store. Yeah, it's not their fault. It wasn't, you were dealing with, you were in an assassin's lineup, and look, there's a parallel in jiu-jitsu, okay? And the parallel in jiu-jitsu is like, if you were in a gym where there's a bunch of white belts and blue belts, and you're a black belt, you go in there. You have what's called an easy roll.

People don't know. They're not at your level. And you can kind of tap everybody and you never get tapped. But then you'll go to some fucking crazy gym where everybody's an assassin and you get handled. Right. And you get angry. Those guys roll too hard. Right.

They're going to get injured. They're this. They're that. But no, no, no. They're willing to get injured. They're this. They're that. But no, no, no. They're willing to get injured. They're willing to fight and battle it out at a different level. They're willing to hit a certain RPMs that maybe you're not comfortable with because you can't do that every day if you have a life.

If you have a life and a job and a career and a family and a mortgage, you're not going to put in eight hours a day on the fucking mat. Some guys are, and you can't be mad at them. Can't be mad at them. And if you go to the store, the store basically doesn't exist anymore, but if you go to a place like what the store was a year ago. Cellar, whatever. It's more the store.

Yeah. Because the cellar was really good. It's a really great club. But it wasn't the same sort of assassins lineup. Right. You would have like Chappelle would drop in or Attell would be there. But God damn it, there was nights at the store where you would look at the line. We would laugh.

Like, this is fucking crazy. It's like historic. It's Tuesday night. It's historic. Yeah. But you got to be in that life. You got to live that life. 100%.

You got to be in it 100%. And that's why the kid I'm with is in it 100%. like everybody that kid i'm worried about yeah he's he's gonna fail but it's i call him your opener that's a problem well he's an open he opens right now i was someone's open i mean this is what happens you've called people you're open but like i want to be surrounded by people who are in it yes i want to be surrounded by people that are like i want to get better every day yeah and that's the thing i and and that's important no matter what level you're at i think to surround yourself with people who are like truly about getting better yeah and and so many people are not and they they look at but

then you know you look at bill burr or chappelle or you or guys that just have so many hours of material out and have crafted hour after hour after hour after hour. And you go, fuck, if I want to hang with those guys, I got to be a lot better. And even people like, you know, you go over to the store and you look at some people that are not famous and they're amazing. It's like in order to be at that level,

you just got to keep working. Well, this is the thing about being famous. I think I have a responsibility when I find people who are very funny, who aren't famous, I want to get them famous. Right. Right. I really feel that. Yeah.

I have a pull. Right. I don't know. I have a lot of responsibility in life, but I feel like I have a responsibility to this art form that's been very, very good to me. Right. And that's one of the reasons why I wanted to really set up shop here. Yeah.

Because I felt like because of this podcast, because this podcast is a gigantic antenna, it's a gigantic broadcasting station. Yeah. It's like I can get the word out about people. Right. You've always done that. You did that for me.

You did it with a lot of people. You built the scene in LA kind, single-handedly, right? Well, I didn't build it. It was already there. You didn't build it, but you just gave it a spotlight. I used what I had with the podcast, and I said, let's jumpstart this motherfucker. Yeah. And I feel like I can do that here, and that's one of the things that I want to do.

And I think about it all the time, man. Right. My wife would be talking to me about furniture and shit, and I'm thinking, I can build this motherfucker up. I can make this place utopia. I can make this place a stand-up haven. That's one of my main goals in life right now, is to just figure out a way to, as a person who's established and stand-up and financially established and secure,

you could just sit back and retire and relax in your laurels and just never work again. Or you can say, I can make a difference in this art form and then I can give a platform and create a place where people are safe. We can experiment. You can take chances. I used to take Ari Shaffir on the road with me and I'd get him so high he'd forget what he was talking about. Right. he'd go i'm too high i can't go on

stage i go dude it doesn't matter you can't get fired right i said this to him i go you good point you're my friend right you never get fired right i go i want you to be free and free to fuck around right yeah this and he's like oh yeah i go yeah you can never get fired yeah well he's been a little too free in the last year. But it's debatable. But that's the thing about giving people the space to be who they are. Of course. You have to give them the space to make mistakes. Yes, yes.

I feel like you can establish that in an environment like Austin that's not connected to Hollywood. Yeah. Because we were always, there was a carrot that was dangled in front of us. You can get a sitcom. You can get a talk show you could be in movies and that was always the carrot right these comics sort of hoard themselves out to become part of that and there's a lot of good comics who became terrible talk show hosts and terrible movie actors and they whatever spark of brilliance that existed in their stand-up comedy in the early days that could have possibly led to something truly exceptional was extinguished.

And it was extinguished by this idea that you could become a part of this system that was very controlled and very censored and very – like you could only exist – you had to be left-wing. You had to be progressive. You had to be – you can't have any controversial opinions because if you did, people would come after you. Like you had this like weird little area where as a comic, like for a guy like you, that's not. It's not going to happen. It's not good.

It's not good. It's not good that there's such a stifling of that. But then there's also like, listen, there's got to be shitty shows for people that want to watch them. So let a lot of those comics write shitty shows for people that want to watch them so let a lot of those comics write shitty shows let actors do it let actors do it let whatever like to me i'm like hey if that's the way you want to spend your life writing for whatever late night show you know fill in the blank uh you can do that you have no some guys could have been there's a lot of guys

who could have gone if they were here or they're in hollywood in the the late 90s they could have been, there's a lot of guys who could have gone, if they were here or they were in Hollywood in the late 90s, they could have gone down that road. Like there's the brilliant guys of today, like Schultz or Giannis Papas or a lot of these guys, they could have been seduced. I don't think they would have been. Some guys of that level could have been seduced and drawn into the, and then it's like, hey, you're getting $100,000 an episode to be on some terrible fucking sitcom where they have laugh tracks. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

And there's no freedom. There's no creative freedom. Oh my God, it's death. There's a few of those shows that are still on the air, and I watch them sometimes now. Yeah. But they're for someone, right?

Those shows are for people whose brains are broken. Oxycontin addictcontin that's a large proportion of america so they have to have entertainment too like there's a lot like there's a lot of people out there that are not intellectually able to listen you talked about wine team for three hours they want to watch something stupid and they want to watch the show you know let them have it yeah well. Well, listen, I'm not saying they should stop doing those shows.

Right. I mean, listen, man, you should still make children's books. Yes. That's 100% right. It's 100% right. Modern art, you know, you want to go watch a bunch of fucking

paint splatter on the wall. Yeah. A fucking... I feel like you and Austin is almost hilarious because it's almost like a crazy movie where you are teaching, like, blue-haired Antifa people to be comedians. There's a lot of really wild, far-whacked-out people here, and there's something hilarious about you telling a fat activist that they should hold it down on the waffles and write more.

Like there's something hilarious about you. Well, you could do both. You could do both. Yeah, but it's a – I've loved performing here. I love it, and I'm excited to see what happens with it. This is going to get crazy, Tim. Yeah. This place is going to be crazy.

No, no, it's 100% going to be crazy. No, no, I think it will get crazy. If I stay alive, if I can stay alive, it's going to get crazy. 100%. I'm all in. Yeah. I got plans. You know those plans.

I'm excited. I'm excited, yeah. I'm here. I told you those plans. You've seen some pictures. I'm excited. We got some shit happening. It's going to be crazy.

Well, I can't wait to announce all the things that we have happening. Yeah. I mean, it's crazy. It's going to get buck wild. It's going to be crazy. Yeah. Yeah. And Segura's already get buck wild it's gonna be crazy yeah yeah sagura's already moved here he's already bought a house a lot of people are opening clubs here yeah yeah yeah cap city's reopening uh mark grossman from helium is involved in that yeah all that stuff is very good there's gonna be a lot of different options for people that want to do

yeah and i'm gonna help everybody yeah i'm i'm not about like just for me or my if i open a club my club i'm not about any of that i'm about let's let's go everybody come on down let's go i want to suck as many people into this vortex as possible that are funny yeah and i want to work hard yeah people that and then the people that are thinking about it like you know i'm i'm struggling i'm doing open mic in Kansas City. It's not working out. Come on down. Right.

We can do this. Yeah. We can do this. Absolutely. This is a fucking wild place, man. Yeah. You know, and this place is this weird spot that used to be run by the Comanches 150 years ago. Right.

You have to realize how nuts that is. That's crazy. Yeah. That's crazy yeah that's crazy 150 years ago like if you were a white person you were walking we were walking down the road here you'd get shot with an arrow right well there's a lot of people here that want that to be the case now a lot of people want to bring that commission uh it'll it'll be interesting to see i don't it's gonna be interesting to see what happens with new york and la and when the quarantine's over and

what like you know people are out there vaccinated things are better those cities i'd like to see get back not even have to get vaccinated you see what the numbers on covet are they're low what's biden became president they're dropping covet was really excited about biden and harris yeah yeah they got dropped well cove cove is over yeah i mean things are dropping and you know they drop we're ready to go back dropping And you know They dropped by 50% We're ready to go back to work Yeah They've dropped by 50%

The cases have dropped by 50% That's suspect No Stop being a conspiracy theorist It's fine That's a little suspect No no no Yeah

I'm not even a little worried Yeah Yeah Well no I'm excited I'm back out on the road And you know I'm getting back

To doing these things And hopefully These clubs start opening at a larger capacity. My favorite is you tweeted about this. The people that have never worked at these clubs literally don't work. And they're mad that people have to do a stand-up. It's so great. You'd think if comedy, like you'd think if you went to be in finance and it didn't work, you'd quit and leave. But, like, it's like the idea of somebody just walking around goldman sachs complaining and going these

people like just go away but they're on twitter and they're angry that they haven't built a fan base they didn't work hard they spent their time drinking drugging whatever they did they just didn't take advantage of any opportunities so they're participating in conversations that are meant for people that are actually earning a living at this thing and they're not and never have and they're still trying to participate in those conversations so to me it's like fucking not be if i started talking to ufc fighters well i don't actually think it's it like what the fuck you have no no place in this conversation. Well, they're allowed to have their opinions, but they need to understand that we understand where their opinions are coming from.

Right. Their opinions are coming from, they don't, look, when I was 21 years old and I was an open miker, I remember wanting people to bomb, and it's shameful. It's a shameful feeling. Oh, you don't want them to bomb anymore? No. It's so fun.

Are you crazy? I wanted people to bomb that were going on stage because I wanted to feel good about me. Dude, there's nothing better. We had a guy in Long Island once that gave me and my friend a 25-minute discussion, talk, literally lectured us about how comedy worked. And then he went out and bombed horribly. And it was the greatest thing ever. And then he walked back in.

He looked at us. He went, they were good. And then he just walked out of the green room because the level of delusion yeah is just it's enviable there was a guy that i worked with back in the early days of my career and uh he was uh the host of an open mic night and i went up and you know i had a pretty decent set but i guess i swore a lot right and he and he's like ladies and gentlemen joe fucking rogan and he goes can he say fuck enough jesus christ and so off stage the guy pulls me aside and lectures me and he tells me and he goes he had this bit and the bit had the word fuck in it and he had to remove the word fuck

because he realized that the word fuck was hampering his bit and i said i think the only way that bit works is if you say fuck right because it shows that you're actually angry right and that's how people talk when they're really angry about things and he goes if you want to work and he goes you remove those words because those words are a problem you're getting you're getting laughs now he goes but you want to be a professional he goes this is not how you do it And he was like really dicky to me. And I recognized at the time, I mean, he was one of those guys who would go on stage with like a gas station attendant jacket on.

You know those guys who do that? Yeah. With like the name tag on. They would wear the wacky clothes. Yeah, he was trying hard to be like a funny guy. Right. Like striped socks on. Right.

I'm wacky. Yeah. And then, I shouldn't have done this but years later right i became successful killed his family i was on uh a sitcom uh i was working with him and he was the host and i was a headliner and i said i want you to go on stage and i want you to tell all those people about all these credits that i have that you don't right And then I want you to tell them how you gave me really terrible advice when I was an open mic-er and made me feel bad. Go ahead, do that.

Yeah. And he looked at me like this, like. Yeah. And I was like, that's what you did. That's crazy. You were an open mic-er. You made me feel shitty because you were bombing. Right.

Your life was awful. Right. And you didn't like the fact that you were this mediocre, middling sort of local stand-up comic, and you were suppressing all these other voices. And that guy now is Bill de Blasio. So you see how it all works out in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, it was really weird.

But he literally said to me, I said, I go, but the guys that I've always liked are dirty. I go, the guys that I've always liked have been like Sam Kinison and Dice Clay. He's like, you're not Kinison. You're not Dice. This is what he said to me. And I was like, but they weren't Dice. They weren't Kinison when they first started. And he's like, alright, you don't want to listen? You don't want to listen?

Fine. It was a real shitty moment. The Patrice doc is coming out on Comedy Central and I want to watch that i haven't watched anything on comedy central in 10 years and never probably won't again after this but that's a guy that you knew i loved him yeah and he that i mean he's like for for the guys that i i'm around and the new york guys that we kind of came up he's just our idea of like what a true pure comic genius is like a guy that doesn't give a fuck. Well, he really stated his opinions.

Right. He didn't compromise his opinions to make people like him. He said things that you would agree with if you were alone with him having dinner and you would laugh. Right. And then he did that in front of giant groups of people. Yeah. And some people were like, whoa, what?

He'd be like, I don't give a fuck. And he didn't. He was free. But he also didn't give a fuck about his health, unfortunately. Yeah. And he was diabetic. And he didn't take care of himself. And now he's gone.

But he left behind a legacy of purity. Yeah. And there's room for these wild people. And this is the love that I have for Joey Diaz, right? Right. This purity. Yeah. You know, and there's, there's room for these wild people. And this is the love that I have for Joey Diaz, right? Right. This is this, this purity.

And for Joey, like watching him struggle with like people suppressing him. And I had an agent at one point in time that told me not to take him on the road with me. And like, it's, it's really bad for your career. This guy is,

he's, he's not talented. And like, I go, you talented i'm like i go you're crazy i go you i've been doing comedy for 11 years this guy's the funniest person i've ever met in my life he makes me laugh harder than anybody i don't know what to tell you i'm like i'm not listening to you like i had this conversation with a former agent that i had and he experienced that every step of the way because he was the guy that made everyone laugh in in the green room and he would go on stage and he would in the beginning like people had a hard time figuring out who he was

and then somewhere along the line he didn't give a fuck anymore he thought he was going to get a sitcom right or a movie and he was like tentative at first and then there was some something clicked in joey it was like in the late 90s, where he went from being a guy who had really inconsistent performances on stage to being a guy where the comics would go to the back of the room and sit down and watch when he would go on stage. And it was just, he didn't give a fuck anymore. He figured out what made people love him when he was younger, when he was doing comedy to prisoners, literally when he was in jail.

They would go, Coco, get on stage. And he would go on stage in prison right make everybody laugh right and he figured out how to do that in front of all of us and then he became and i realized as a person who was when i met joey i was on news radio and then you know the fear factor days i'm like i'm gonna champion him i'm gonna i'm gonna like this is what i like i like wild people right like i want i want is and this is as wild as it gets i'm like i need to get this guy in front of as many people as i can right and tell them yeah because this is what comedy comedy is not always what you like it's what's like there's a lot of people out there that love a lot of comics. Like, you're allowed. It's like music.

Like, I'm not a jazz fan, but I get that people love it. Right. You know, people that I'm friends with love. Alonzo Bowden, he does jazz tours. Right. I love Alonzo. I don't get it. I listen to him and it's like making a bunch of fucking noise.

Right, right. I don't get it. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People love it. They love it. You're allowed to love that. Right.

You're allowed to love fucking Reese Witherspoon movies. You're allowed to. Right. Yeah, you're allowed. She's great. She's very talented. Yeah. Yeah.

You're allowed to love wild shit, too. We don't live that long, Tim Dillon. Yeah, that's a good point. I'm 53. I would like to see a romantic comedy with Reese Witherspoon and Joey Diaz. I'm allowed to want that, too. Where she just wants coke and dick. Yeah, I'm allowed to want to watch a Jersey love story between Joey Diaz and Reese Witherspoon.

And Scarlett Johansson can play Joey Diaz. She can play an alien. Yeah. Becomes Joey Diaz. Yeah, why not? Yeah, it's just, there's room for everybody. And I think that one of the things that's important is like it's important to be able to criticize things that you don't like because

there's parts of it that are valid but then it's important to just like so go who cares right it's okay there's there's got to be a give and a take and and people i think and i think this is the trump era is over people are now going to start, I think, hopefully chilling out. I think it's coming. I really do think it's coming, whether people want to admit it or not. And I think people are just going to realize that, like, as you said, life is too short to fight with everybody all the time about everything. Like, it's just too, we got to get away from the politics and get into, like, something that's a little more important. For sure.

You know? For sure. But sure, that's, I think people like you are very important. Yeah. I appreciate that. You're right here, but I'm going to say this to your face. It's like you have this the saddest things is these comedians that have become serious political commentators with no sense of self-deprecation. I mean, they want to be taken seriously.

It's absurd and it's scary. I mean, but it's understandable. Yeah, it's understandable. Yeah, it's understandable. I think at a certain point, people just get sick of, you know, wherever they're at, they're like, I want to do something else. And they're like, hey, this is the route to getting attention and this is the route to being important. I want to be – I want to write – you know, when Chelsea Handler was tweeting about espionage, I was like –

Was she? She was tweeting about, like, Russiagate at one point, like Trump being a Russian asset. And I'm like was she she was tweeting about like russiagate at one point like trump being a russian asset i'm like but did she ever like apologize for being but it's also like you don't know what you're talking about like you've never read a book about the cia or the fsb or the kgb you don't know what you say you're talking you're just spouting off so to me it's like i like I've read books on those things, and I still know it's hard to know what the fuck's going on in that world. So the fact that you have written books about whatever,

and they're funny books about fucking midgets and shitting yourself, that's great. But then to go and say, and by the way, here's also my take on counterintelligence. I say this is a little wacky. It's a little wild. You're out of your depth. You're out of your depth.

But being a famous person is intoxicating. Yes. Right? Yes. And other people call upon you. They want to find out what your opinions are on things. Yeah. But, you know, you've got to tell them, I don't have any.

Yeah. It's hard. You know, you've got to tell them. Because you're like oh yeah they want to know my opinions i must be important well john mulaney did this thing on snl that was really really funny when he did this thing where he's like oh white guy's gonna win no matter what happens and then people were like fuck you and then he had to come out and go oh yeah i get it i'm not for trump but he was making a deeper. He was illustrating a larger truth that was funny.

And he fucking like had to then come back and go, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I actually. So it's like with the Weinstein joke. It's like, I'm not going to explain the joke. So it's like, you can be offended or you can not be offended. But at the end of the day, it's like, I don't going to explain the joke to you. Either you can get on board or not be on board you don't have to like me it doesn't matter to me it's my job to make fun of shit yeah and if you want a society

where all it's only the targets that you approve you sound a lot like those people on the left that you criticize yeah so and that's the problem right whoever they're all sensitive yeah everybody yeah it's it's an apolitical problem Yeah I like John Mulaney I've met him a couple of times Yeah He's a very nice guy

And I think he's a very talented comic Yeah But when I secretly When he Not even secretly Yeah When he You know

He had his problems with coke and booze Yeah I went Oh Okay He's normal Yeah Yeah There's a part of me that was like he's one of us yeah he struggles yeah he's got things also he's got again he's leaning into love as much as rush

limbo right not in the same way not in a hateful way right but he's you know he's this he's not being right about yeah about the demons right right yeah well Seinfeld going to come out? When is he going to be fucking doing bath salts and punching people? I don't think so. Doing them out in the Hamptons? You know what I'm saying? It's the same thing.

When someone's that tightly wound or put together, yeah. I get nervous. I'm a lot more comfortable with people that kind of let it hang out a little bit yeah me too yeah but i appreciate the like i look at those guys are kind of like cia agents where it's like they are very curated images and there's something i i um uh respect i don't know if it's the right word but like it fascinates me fascinate that i watch it we know people listen there's a lot of people who are out there that are whether they're i don't

know if it's living a lie or living like there's a lot of people that are just not letting their full self be known yeah and that's okay that's a choice because a lot of people go i don't want to get famous as me i want to get famous as this version of me, and I'm going to make it up. Well, there's also things like pressure from your family. Of course. Pressure from, you know. When I was a kid, this is a weird confession, but it's true. I used to be really uncomfortable with girls that I was dating that came from healthy families. Right.

Right. I wanted girls from single moms. I wanted girls from divorced families. Not that I wanted them, but they made sense to me right like when i would date a girl and she had like a really healthy mother and father and they were still together and they were dating since high school i'm like right they're gonna hate me you wanted someone who could have your experience had similar experiences to you well alternative you know like chaos like uh when was 21, I had this girlfriend that she had, her dad was a doctor, and he really had a really hard time with me being a comic.

Right. I was just starting out. Right. And he was like, what are the odds that he makes it? That was what she said. I'm like, we're 21. Right. Do you not understand?

Right. Right. But that's, yeah, I mean Right. Do you not understand? Right. Right. But that's, yeah, I mean, those are those, some parents are really, it's a tough, you know. It's tough because, you know, his idea was like, you got to be able to pay your water bill. Right. You know.

He's not wrong. He's not wrong. He's not wrong. You do have to be able to pay. But you also, you don't want to wish that you were a baseball player and just sell insurance forever and just watch baseball and just dream and wish. Right. But you also don't want to go around your neighborhood going, I'm a baseball player.

And everyone goes, no, you're not. Are you out of your mind? No, that's true too. I'm a baseball player and I'm in a baseball Facebook group and I have opinions about when we open the stadiums back up. Or I'm in a baseball Facebook group. That's a lie. And I have opinions about when we open the stadiums back up. Or I'm a comic. Yeah. And then you're like, well, where do you work?

I worked at the comedy store. Like, okay. I don't know you. How do you work at the comedy store? Like, oh, I did a spot in the belly room. Oh, you did a bringer show in the belly room. Yeah. That like a homeless person can do.

You get found out. My favorite thing is from Long Island where I grew up people's credits were physical places like they would go you've seen this guy in atlantic city please bring up whoever like yeah he opened for or they just go borgata you know this guy from borgata and they bring him up so it's like long island had the saddest credits of any place I've ever It would be a guy who was brought up And they'd go He runs a show every

You know every Tuesday night At Ravioli's on Route 110 Please bring up this guy And then he'd get up And it would just be You know it'd be tough but Were you around when Jimmy's Comedy Alley

No I started in like 2011 Oh Yeah The hell is Jimmy's Comedy Alley You ever heard of it No No it was in Is that like I'm sure there is Oh Yeah The hell is Jimmy's Comedy Alley? You ever heard of it? No No, it was in

Is that like I'm sure there is Long Island had like 20 clubs It was a bowling alley That became a comedy club In God When I was there

It was 92 93 Yeah Somewhere around there And there was this dude I wish I could remember His last name His name was Keith And he was really funny man

It was like He had potential But he fell into this Keith Anthony Yeah Keith Anthony is one of the best Out of Long Island And he

He fell into this Bill Hicks thing Yeah He drove all the way To California In a Cadillac With no roof Yeah

But it didn't have no roof Like it was a convertible Right Like someone sawed the roof off of an old Cadillac. Oh, interesting. And he drove there in the rain. He gave me great advice, though. What did he say?

He said, move to New York City. He goes, if you don't move to New York City, he goes, everything you do is a joke. He goes, in Long Island, nothing will ever matter. He goes, if you want to make it at this, move to the city. And he goes, comics get seen in classes, so you'll come up with other funny people. And he goes, you've got to be in the city that's and i was gonna go kind of anyway but he really made me

like move much sooner and he was like this is how you do it so i'm forever grateful to him he's a beast of a funny guy i was great is he i think in long island he came up with me yeah no he was on like a list of like top eight comics to watch in 90s or something. Yeah, I met him in 92. Yeah. I met him at Jimmy's Comedy Alley. Okay. And the lady that, I think it was in Queens. Google that.

It was a literal bowling alley in Queens that my manager, Jeff, his friend ran, and she was the manager of him, of Keith. Right. And I remember seeing him, and I'm like, oh, this guy's daring. He's risk-taking. We became friends. And then I came out to L.A. in 94, and he came out shortly after, maybe 95. It just didn't work.

It's tough. I was on stage i mean i was in the back of the room rather and i i did my set and he was on and then um he was on stage and he was saying something and someone just fucking called him out man some guy just yelled out what are you saying is bullshit like you're just trying to be cool right and it was this weird moment you know and i was like and he i didn't see him around after that i don't know if it contributed to it or if it was one of those things where he just decided la is just too full of shit it's too industry because he was like this sort of avant-garde like yeah he got read a lot and he wanted his comedy to mean something which was interesting

about that he would do really well in long island because those audiences aren't the smartest people but he would really always do really well well he did really well for the most part yeah because he was very funny i mean there was a lot of those guys he was i think the most you know like as you said like uh intellectual yeah the group of people that were doing it it wasn't just funny it was funny but like he had like he was meaning yeah what he was trying to do that is that long island is kind of like a pit that you can fall into if you don't stay out like is he still in long island i don't know if he's still doing stand-up i don't know what he's doing i mean but every time i saw the guy he would crush he was a very nice guy. He was intense, but very nice. Yeah, I agree.

And would give good advice and was very intense and was a cool dude in general. We were in the same class. So he didn't give me any advice, but we were always cool with each other. We were always friendly. I always asked him, I said, what differentiates the guys who figure it out? And he goes, you got to get out of here. I'm like, okay, you're right. That's sort of true, but sort of not. Well, it was the baseline.

The least you had to do was go to New York. The least you had to do was go to a city. You're not going to make it from Long Island. Well, you can, but what you have to do is be autonomous. You have to be someone who's not connected to the local scene. Meaning that you don't do local comedy.

Right. You don't do comedy for them. You do comedy for you. Yeah, but still, you have to have a platform, and that was New York. Like, New York had all the hot clubs. It had all the good agents and managers and bookers and all the bullshit. Like, you had to get known there, which I was trying to do. You needed both.

Yeah, it's good to do both, but all the people I know who started out in Long Island fell into that hole. Is he around? Let's call him. He stormed the Capitol last week, probably. Yeah, he's got horns on. He's in the Capitol. But he was a really funny dude.

A lot of the people that I started with in Long Island just stayed there. They got passed at a club, and they never. Yeah, there he is. Yeah, I'm trying to find a really funny dude. A lot of the people that I started with in Long Island just stayed there. They got passed at a club and they never. Yeah, there he is. Yeah, I'm trying to find like a Twitter. What is this? It's like a podcast he did. That's Carrie Kravis who's funny. She's out of Long Island too.

Matt Burke is a funny guy from Long Island. That's him on the right? Yeah. Wow. What did he look like when you knew him? Like a younger version of that guy. Yeah. And so he's still out

there yeah i mean i think so he had a show last year so like i don't know if he's done shows during the pandemic but i've been trying to find he was a good dude though he's always nice to me always nice to me and i i admired him i admired what he was doing and again you know we're talking about 94 i was 27 years old he was probably similar age you know it's like sometimes people they you know they want to be jack kerouac they want to be bill hicks they want to be this and they try to figure out how what's the way to be and there's a few others that weren't nearly as successful as him that i could name but i don't want to be cruel that they just want to be artists and instead they want to like sort of mimic.

And a lot of us mimic people in the beginning that you think, this is what Dave Attell sounds like. Right. He's a comedian. I want to be a comedian too. Right. And you sort of fall into this trap

of mimicking people that you idolize. And whether it's idealisticallyistically stylistically whether it's uh ideologically like right you want you want to be someone who has the same impact on the audience that other people have had an impact on you and it's hard to just be yourself like there's these weird gauntlets you have to run there's weird obstacles you have to run. There's weird obstacles that you have to get over. And I think this is probably true in any art form, whether it's in singing, in music, or even painting, anything. Like, you have to find out who you are. And a lot of times in the beginning, you're just faking it.

You're just mimicking. Of course. You're mimicking other people with your own ideas. But you're mimicking, like, how wouldie bruce talk about this subject yeah well i think that's that's true and i think that like it's a long journey to figuring out how to be comfortable as yourself not only on life in life but then you have to do it on stage in front of hundreds or thousands of people that's crazy right so how many people are comfortable being themselves on earth that's many people are not comfortable being themselves

at geico so the idea that they're going to do it in front of a room full of people is tough fahim talked about that on the podcast last week he said i i had to figure out how to how to get comfortable being observed interesting and he was talking about being at starbucks putting cream and sugar in his coffee and worrying there's a bunch of people waiting he's like i can take the time to put the cream it's it's just like it's a normal thing right i can't be worried about this right this is normal i'm allowed to do this right and there's like this really interesting observation because he's like this thing of like oh just get out of here you know like we all have this worry that people are sitting here going,

the fuck, this guy's taking so much time with the cream. See, I'm such a different person. I just stand there with the cream. I yell at the people. I'm like, do you have chocolate milk? I want to make a mug. I'm such a different. I can't even relate. I'm trying in my head to relate to that.

I guess this is why I've kicked off Airbnb and I'm being posted about it in Facebook groups. But God, if I never thought about the people behind me at the Starbucks line. Do you not have any empathy for the people behind you? No. No. That's why you cut the line at Whataburger. Listen, man, you got to live.

There was an opening. You took it. Survival. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. He was a better person than me. You're cool with admitting that, though? Yeah.

What do I sell? What do I sell tickets to my shows go come see gandhi the fuck's what's that about no see the dalai lama yeah come see the dalai lama come learn moral lessons with tim dillon it's crazy i'm not doing anything super horrible no i'm just you know listen why are you comfortable with that though what that i'm not doing anything super horrible this is what we're supposed to be we're not supposed to be like i am the greatest person that's ever lived which is why i get up on stage and demand 300 people pay attention to me every night because i'm selfless yeah that's a weird thing because i'm a selfless altruistic person i want everyone to pay attention to what i'm saying because i'm goof and i'm not even saying anything that important i'm goofing around in a tent and i want you to watch me

because i'm a selfless human being whose heart is full of love no that's fake i hate that shit you gotta be you can be a good person i'm good to to my friends and people I respect and my family and whatever. And I'm good to other people too. I'm not a bad person. But I admit that like everyone else, I have piece of shit tendencies and qualities. And I admit that. And then supposedly now you're supposed to lie about that so people respect you more. It's fucking crazy.

But that doesn't work. If you lie about it, so people respect you more it's fucking crazy that doesn't work if you lie about it nobody buys into that they they like the fact you admit it yeah i mean i had a feud with my aunt on my show where i just called out my fucking aunt for what what'd she do she commented on my instagram and said yeah said some shit about like oh you don't respect your grandfather's legacy so i just went at her for 25 minutes on my podcast yeah and i just fucking aired out dirty laundry i got in a big fight with her on the fucking pot i just screamed and it's like did you ever have her call in no she would too she's a q anon retard she's like on facebook i mean her fucking whole life's over trump trump's her boyfriend her boyfriend trump got thrown out she's in trouble what was the problem with the grandfather's legacy?

She's like you don't even think about your grandfather's legacy Because you know the shit I say and the way I act What is your grandfather's legacy? He was like a family man and everything like that I'm like a fucking wild nut So I just went at her on my show For 25 minutes Wait a minute so your comedy

Because you're crazy and saying wild shit For laughs She was mad at that She doesn't like it your comedy because you're crazy and saying wild shit for laughs. She was mad at that. She doesn't like it. Is that really the case, or is she just upset that you're getting a lot of attention? Well, I don't know what upsets her, but I think it's maybe a combination of both. But I just kind of went at her on the show without worry about, like, you know, it's just my job to kind of be honest in that time by name not her last name but you know but i mean she commented on your fucking instagram

she started she started so again it's like you know what i mean like sometimes you have to get in fucking things it's like you ever talk ever talk to her after the room? No, I don't. It's going to be bad now. If I go to like family party, no, it'll be bad. It was a brutal, brutal takedown of her because she's a horrible person. But she also doesn't like me.

She doesn't think I'm a good person. So the only thing... So that's okay. We're all okay. You're disrespecting your grandfather's legacy. Yeah, something like that. And then I went out and just told everyone her fucking... You're a fucking cunt and here's why and i listed the

reasons why what are the reasons well you know she's just a problem like you know she never worked it's a whole thing i mean i never worked yeah i mean you know she's full of shit i just i don't want to go through it again because i don't want to like you know again i've never heard it i know but i've been asked by my family to kind of keep it what family members she's my dad was like okay we get it you did what you had to do and we just got in a thing

I'm willing to put it behind me but you know she faked a drug overdose for example once she pretended to overdose on drugs so I brought that up I brought that up I brought that up. I brought that up. I bring things up. I brought that up.

I brought that up. I brought that up. How does one do that? You pretend to pass out and go to the hospital. So I mean, I brought that up. I brought that up. How am I not going to bring that up? You have to.

How would I not bring that up? Glass houses. How would I not bring that up? Don't throw rocks. Whatever. My whole thing is this. Listen, we're paid to kind of be honest and put ourselves out there. Yes.

You can't always be concerned what people are going to think. Yeah. No, you can't. You can't. Otherwise, you don't get anything done. Right. Comedy without victims can be very boring. Yeah.

I mean, it's just what it is. It's like, you know, listen, I get, you know, that, you know, I'm not going to get a Nobel Prize. You might. The way shit's going, I might. But I'm completely comfortable with- Can Trump get a prize? Yeah.

I mean, that's perfect. He got nominated. He got nominated. Which one? For the Nobel Prize. Peace, right? The peace one? Yeah.

Yeah. So, I mean, I'm okay with that. I'm not in this to get a Nobel Prize. Me neither. Yeah. And that's the problem. That seems like a problem. Because a lot of people now are kind of in it to get a Nobel Prize.

I don't even want an award. Have you gotten any awards? No. I've gotten no awards. No award. No. No. You can get awards.

No, they're not going to get. I mean, you know, who knows? I mean, listen, there's cool awards. But, yeah, I mean yeah i mean i'm more focused on like the idea that i can make a living at this is great that's the reward awards for art are weird they're strange they're weird but they're cool when they meant something like back in the you know and move when it was like 1995 and the nominees were like casino leaving las vegas apollo 13 like all these like you're like oh fuck these are all good now it's fuck, these are all good. Now it's like a horror. iHeartRadio. Yeah, now it's like a horror.

It's like the movies are like, it's like insane. It's like, you haven't seen half of them, half of them are like the webbies. Yeah, the webbies. People come out and they start, you know, giving a political speech and just, they're like, you know, it doesn't affect anyone. They're like, we're 50%,

50% of the grips on this set were women I mean no one why is that good it should be open for everybody remember when Meryl Streep came out mixed martial arts are not arts it's not the arts

she was going right at you yeah she is an artist Dan it is an art. She was a great actress and one of the greatest ones, but now you see her, it's goofy. She's like, got to stop. But she doesn't understand when she said that, what she's saying. What she's saying is that my version of art is the only version of art. What I think is art is art because this is how I define it.

Martial arts are an art form. It's just an art form that's brutal and violent. And it's only really truly appreciated by people that understand and or practice that art form. Right. But when I see someone head kick somebody, it's beautiful. What do you know? That sounds crazy.

What do you think about Cobra Kai? Do you think it's, do you think it's legit? I like the show. It's stupid at the end though. I didn't watch the end. Season one's great. Don't ruin it.

All right. I'm only on season two. All right. Well, in season three, Lizzo runs a dojo. Lizzo has a dojo. She's like, you don't want to learn karate? It's rough. But you have to eat only vegetables.

I love how they wrote an article in the LA Times. They're like, Cobra Kai's too white. It's like it's a movie. It's like they were in a movie. Did they really say that? Yeah. It was an article. The whiteness of Cobra Kai. Keep cobra keep going please keep writing all those stupid articles

eventually people are going to realize that it doesn't matter it doesn't matter but what matters is if you stop someone from doing something because of their color it doesn't matter that people do it because like if a certain percentage of people do it and they happen to be whatever, gay, straight, black, white, Asian, that's irrelevant. It's whether or not they're being inhibited, whether or not they're being prevented from doing it, whether there's a barrier, whether someone gets to like, hey, you can't do this because you're gay. Right.

That's one of the beautiful things about comedy is there's no barrier to entry. Right. No one cares. You can do it no matter what. Podcasting too. Right. That's one of the beautiful things about comedy is there's no barrier to entry. Right. No one cares. You can do it no matter what. Podcasting too. Yeah. Do you kill? Do you kill?

Right. Well, even podcasting is interesting, right? Because there's zero barrier and no one has to even be listening and you still do it. Like if you just decided to do a podcast every week and it was terrible, no one's going to stop you. Right. You can just keep going. Right. And week and it was terrible, no one's going to stop you. You can just keep going. There's a lot of people out there doing that right now. There's a lot of people that I know of that have been doing podcasting

for a decade and they're awful and no one cares. They'll get a few thousand views or listens but they're terrible and they just keep doing it. It's part of their identity. Do you remember those guys that were open micers that have been doing comedy for 20 years and they were still open micers right and you would go i don't understand like but it's what they are they just

they just showed up and it was okay it's like sad part but it's also part of what they enjoyed doing right like monday night they would show up they would put their name on the list and they would go up last and then they kept doing it. There's a guy, Robert William Apervier at the Comedy Store, who was a lawyer who kind of went crazy. And he was semi-homeless, and he would show up at the Comedy Store every week. And every week, he would go on really late at night. And every week, he would have these like kind of funny sort of witty one-liners and right that was his realm you know and he got a he got like some sort of a juice some sort of charge out of performing you know even though he never became a professional in the sense he never

got paid and yeah but he was always there you know there was a guy that used to get up and just scream scream about his wife and just he threw his phone once in a bit and it broke his phone and he just but this is like that's what he wanted to do there was a guy in new york city who would get up on stage and he would do all these crazy anti-semitic conspiracy theories and then he would come in the back of the room and his daughter called him he's like i'll help you with your homework when i get home sweetie we were like well at least he's a good father you know so there's anti-semitic conspiracy yeah he would just get up like that jews did we all thought it was hilarious oh yeah we thought it was so funny because the open mic right so we all thought it was so funny

because he was crazy so we thought it was funny and then but apparently he was a loving father so that's i think complexity of people is really interesting there's a lot of people out there that are just we don't know what animates them no No. No. People are, you know, and I think that criticisms and commentary on people is all valid. But I also think that it's important to not dig too deep and not to be a shithead about it. And just like, you can mock things, but still, you see them, give them a hug. We always try to mock things in still you see them give them a hug we always try to mock things in a way that's fun for us and not always fun for what we're mocking not fun for the people that are getting mocked not always but that's okay i mean that's it is what it is some of

them like it some people don't like it at all like caitlin jenner had this uh fucking tmz video about me recently yeah said horrible things about me. I'm like, I get it. Did you see her go on Bird Show? I made fun of her. And Bird has her call the dad. What dad? Bird's father because he was like a big fan of her. Before? Yeah. Correct.

When she was a he and she won gold medals. So then Bird has, Caitlin Jenner like calls the dad and it's like Bird's like almost in tears. Caitlin Jenner calls the dad, and Burt's almost in tears. Caitlyn Jenner doesn't give a shit. She's like, hello. Burt was probably hammered. Yeah, Burt was like, Burt was like a big moment for Burt.

Caitlyn Jenner's like, hi. Just being a rich cunt. Hi. Huh. Like, who cares? It means nothing to her. And then Burt's sitting there. Do you feel weird saying her?

No, because Caitlyn Jenner to me has never been a gender. She's always been a murderer. So it doesn't really, I mean, it identifies what you want. You're a rich murderer. But yeah, that was an interesting one. She's shooting a bow and arrow with a fucking... Is that a marshmallow on the end of it? Good form, though.

Really decent form. A little tight in the grip. Might want to loosen up that front hand. Yeah. Yeah. But she called me transphobic and homophobic and all this stuff. Have you met... Would you have her on?

Yeah, for sure. That'd be interesting. No, I was just making fun of you and i was making fun of you because you were a cultural icon who uh became the woman of the year six months after being a woman if you don't understand that's funny hilarious that's funny like you became a what you became a woman of the year you only women who've been women for 30 fucking years yeah and they couldn't be woman of the year you were women for a few months, less than a year. It's funny.

But you know what it is? Certain rich people like that just don't have a sense of humor and it is what it is. It's not only rich people, but certain people like that are just, comedy is like they don't get it.

It's not for them. They're not comics. Yeah. They're in a protected class now. They're like golf people. And they want to lean. She's a golf person. She's like a golf club. But she also wants to lean into that protected class now. They're like golf people. And they want to lean. She's a golf person. She's like a golf club.

They don't get it. She also wants to lean into that protected class. Yeah. And it's not that I hate. And I'm not. You can call me transphobic all you want. I'm not. Right.

I don't. I'm not homophobic. I'm not anything. I'm not racist. I'm not sexist. I'm not. I'm not. Of course.

But if you're a woman and you're a dingbat, I'm going to make fun of you. It doesn't mean I'm a sexist. No, it's funny. I just call things like I see them. Of course. But if you're a woman and you're a dingbat, I'm going to make fun of you. It doesn't mean I'm a sexist. No, it's funny. It means I call, I just call things like I see them, including myself. But my point- I think she was fair game like those people she killed in Malibu. There was one person.

One person. You can't say people. That's rude. Person. Yeah, it's like they. But you can. They. Because like they is a pronoun for a single.

They. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know. Well, they didn't know what they is a pronoun for a single they yeah yeah well you know well they didn't know what they were doing good for her and i'm i'm pro-killing in malibu some people people gotta go we can't all live forever gotta go but uh my my point was that i was trying to figure out a way to make fun of something that was kind of sacred right now what i did was i made fun of myself so hard that by the time i got to them it was okay right and like this i was literally talking to my friend tim kennedy who's a a literal killer for the government right soldier yeah and

he we were we were just talking about comedy that like sometimes there's a way to make fun of almost everything right and it didn't mean that i and that i was saying i had that i don't know if you saw that i had this bit in uh my uh 2016 netflix special called triggered okay and i had this bit about caitlin jenner right and the bit was basically talking about my own experiences of living with women all women i remember that yeah and it's like they they break you right and they're like if the bit was like if my manhood was a mountain of marbles every day they take two right just steal two marbles like you have too many marbles but you need to take

them it's just over time like eventually they just break you and then you're yeah and then and then the bit was like that that caitlin jenner was like living with these crazy women. And then like, she's always been a woman. I'm like, maybe, or maybe if you live with these fucking people. And that's the funny of it, right? That was the funny. It's a joke. But it wasn't transphobic or even homophobic. Right.

The idea was to make fun of things that are cultural, that are in the public eye that are also sacred cows yes yes sacred cows are meant to be slaughtered what do you like what are we doing that's our job that's the job of people that do what we do is to make fun of if it didn't make sense it wouldn't have left yes that's the thing absolutely I closed with it for a reason yeah people absolutely worked yes it doesn't mean you hate anybody right and i think that that's the only reason why i work because if people really think you hate someone like if people that love you and that are fans of you they think you really hate something like hey

tim like this is wrong right they have to there's a there's a tongue-in-cheek aspect of it there's a there's a humor aspect of it yes that if we abandon all that we are fucked if you abandon mocking things if you abandon humor if you abandon the the ability to make fun we're fucked yeah we're fucked right because then you're gonna let people develop these narratives and they're gonna take over culture and their egos are gonna get so crazy and big that god only knows what they do and that's fucking when they get knocked down it's good for them too it's very good you gotta you gotta become undeniable that's why you gotta get on clubhouse and who's that lady who's on clubhouse taylor lorenz listening to everybody just waiting for you to say retard and then you

know but you gotta get on clubhouse she did But the person that said, she said someone said it. Yeah, but didn't say it. Explain what happened. I believe what happened was I was in the room. Somebody said it describing, using the word to describe. It's like they always get in trouble describing someone else who said it. Describing someone else who said it about themselves. Correct.

And she was talking about Wall Street Bets. Wall Street Bets. Taylor Lorenz ascribed it to a guy who didn't say it. Because that guy was a critic of her. I guess. I don't know. Or she was just sloppy and wrong. It could have been.

It could have been. How does that person keep a job? Yeah. It's a great question. Why do they have a... Yeah. I don't know. The New York Times is really not interested in penalizing that type of behavior.

They're much more concerned with just putting out an ideological point of view over and over again to the point where no one cares. But the New York Times used to be so objective. They used to be the gold standard. They tried. No, they were in the day. They were better than they are now. They were way better. They were the gold standard. They tried. No, they were in the dead. They were better than they are now. They were way better.

They were the gold standard of information. Yeah. Well, I think it is, everything's so weaponized right now that they feel like if they fire her, they're handing her over. They're capitulating and they're handing her over to the enemies because they believe they're on one side and then the enemies are on the other side. I know nothing about her other than this story that has come across my news feed. Yeah, I don't know much about her. I mean, she's a reporter who writes about the internet.

Well, I know about it because of Sagar. Right. Talked about it on Rising on the Hill. Yes. And, you know, it's maddening. It's crazy. There's a stand, like we need, if someone is saying something that is incorrect

or you're wrongly attributing a quote to someone and then attacking them for that quote like that's not news it's not news and it's a real problem a real problem yeah so you were saying that like these clubhouse sessions yeah people just sit in and wait for people to do that that well she does I don't know how many other people do, but I would imagine that more people would because the New York Times just ran this article by her, I believe, who said,

unfettered conversations are taking place online. It was hilarious. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? New York Times report on Clubhouse app panned for sounding alarm about unfettered conversations. Yeah. This is Taylor Lorenza, the retard, the reporter who talked about that. She's now saying that like unfettered conversations, like how dare people go online and speak freely without moderation.

It's crazy. In the process, Clubhouse has generated debate about whether audio is the next wave of social media, moving digital connections beyond text, photos, and videos to old-fashioned voice, said the article, which was first published on Monday. In thousands of chat rooms every day, Clubhouse's users have conducted unfettered conversations on subjects such as varied as astrophysics, geopolitics, queer representation in Bollywood, and even cosmic poetry. What is cosmic poetry?

I don't know, but that's the thing about Clubhouse like they'll have a room like i think it should be i was but first of all it's invite only so you get sponsored to get on it it's not public right now so the guy this guy michael gruen who's this bit the 22 year old investor bitcoin guy got me on it just invited me on it he's very smart in business world and uh so i'll go on and just listen to people talk about things i don't really know much about but then there's a lot of rooms where it'll be like uh this is a bitcoin room this room is about uh how do we and then there's a lot of rooms just about clubhouse like how do we keep clubhouse diverse why do you think people have a problem with people talking about things that they might not be accurate about why but but isn't that like

if they're if you're a human being yeah if you just enter into a conversation and like like this one we're having right now we can right we you and i could just start talking about energy production and we don't have jack shit about it i think it's that people have very low opinions of other people and they think that other people are very susceptible to misinformation and in some cases they're maybe correct but uh that there's always this faustian bargain that you make where it's like well okay does does you know you're never going to stop everyone from getting fooled that's the thing with the q anon stuff it's like right you can't ban the q anon stuff some people are exist on earth to get fooled but they won't stop the flat earth people that's where like right

it gets so preposterous when it's so ridiculous the flat earth people i guess are technically aren't storming the galaxy right i mean they can't there's a limited amount of flat earth people before like before anything happened look if you get one schizophrenic that shows up at the pizza place with a fucking rifle right right and right and fires around off in the ceiling yeah does that mean you need to delete the whole subject from the internet? No, I don't think so. At what point in time do you say that this is not just ridiculous but dangerous? Well, I mean, it depends, right? It depends on what's going on.

There's a bunch of people that believe dinosaurs aren't real. When do we step in? When do we step in? Never, never. They've got to let these people talk about things. And the other thing is, like, I think these people would carry a lot less sway uh if there was they were made fun of we just gotta make fun of them and say that they're fucking ridiculous yeah ridiculous and retarded and then you go you can't call them retarded right so what do you call someone but you can't full q anon yeah you can and

i can yes for whatever weird reason whatever weird reason. Whatever weird reason. But we're not Clubhouse at the moment. But at the end of the day... We're on a better platform. We're on a bigger platform. But I want you to come on and do a room. I really do. I'm not doing it. I know, but we should. And then the Weinsteins come in and then we'll have to invite them up. Should we do it right after this podcast?

Should we do Clubhouse? Will you do it right after this podcast? Do I have to join Clubhouse? You have to just join it quickly. I sent you a link. Didn't Eric Weinstein send you a link? A lot of people sent me links. Dude, if we did a... Naval is the first person to send me a link. If we did Tim Dillon, Joe Rogan Room on podcast...

What would we say? Anything we could say what we just said here. And people would rush into it. More for you. But I have a few fans as well on there. But it would be a massive event. Massive. It would be massive. Seems like a problem. Joe as well on there. But it would be a massive event. Massive. It would be massive.

Seems like a problem. Joe Rogan on podcasting. Jamie just nodded. He said it's a problem. It's not a problem. He's my confidant. Do you really think it's a bad idea? No, no, no.

That was a nod of like, you're right. It could be a problem. Yeah. Why would it be a problem? Because we would say the same kind of shit we're saying right here. But we do it in this weird form. Yeah, but you could just say whatever you wanted. It's Clubhouse.

You could talk about cosmic poetry. Let's do a show on cosmic poetry. You don't have to do it, but it's... I'm going to have to get high for that. Yeah, it's a fun thing. We're on it five, six hours a night. But that's not good. See, I have a lot of other hobbies.

Of course. I like to write. Yes. I get up and work out. I don't have time for that. I have a lot of other hobbies of course i like to write yes i get up and work out i don't have time for that i have a family well you know no one's saying that you have to do it all the time but you like elon musk one of those guys you drop in light it on fire yeah but elon goes on twitter too he does a lot of shit yeah he does a lot of stuff yeah i don't know how he does all the things he does i think he has a few clones laying around it's very possible well q anon says they've all been cloned it's's very possible. Maybe they're right. They say that Biden's a clone.

They still think that Trump is president. Oh, yeah. They think this is all some sort of... Correct. They're waiting for the grand awakening. I mean, God bless them. Anyone who believes in something that much is happier than I'll ever be. It's weird to watch those videos, though.

They removed them from YouTube, but I used to enjoy them, watching these people that were like, clearly, this was the first moment in their life where anybody was listening to them and taking them seriously yeah and they would say q says that this is going to happen and they would talk about it became an industry people made money people sent them bitcoin people sent them money to talk about q yeah and to break it down to break down the latest drops and break down the latest things and why q what is the. Why Q? What is the letter Q? Well, there was a bunch of Anons when it started. FBI Anon, this Anon, that Anon.

A Q Anon just stuck. But what does Q stand for? Who the fuck? I don't even know. Q clearance of the government. Q clearance means it's like above top secret four levels or something. Does it? Yeah, that's what it means.

Oh. Somebody with a Q clearance is above top secret and that's what it is. Oh, it's all fun. But it's too dangerous. Q's dangerous. Well, it became dangerous when people wear fucking buffalo helmets and storm Nancy Pelosi's That's when it got ridiculous. That's when it got...

Obviously, it was ridiculous before that, but that's... I understand people going, hey, this has gone a little too far. Well, that's when people were talking about Trump being dangerous. That's when they were right. That's when they were right. That's when they were right. He was dangerous. But it didn't appear to be dangerous to a lot of people until the storming of the Capitol and then they went, oh. Well, no, he had a violent

cult of people willing to do almost anything for him. That's not great. No, it's not the best. It's not the best. But it's also when you actually incite those people to do things. Directing an attack on the Capitol is not the best. I don't the best. But it's also when you actually incite those people to do things. Arguably. Directing an attack on the Capitol is not the best. I don't think he directed an attack. He was close.

He definitely left it open to interpretation. It was pretty close. It was pretty close. He's like, they're in there doing what they shouldn't be doing. Show strength. Show strength. Go get them. He can't be weak.

Mike Pence is in there. Go hang him. He's eating kids. Yeah. I mean, he was pretty close. It was pretty, you know. They were ready to go after Pence. But, you know know this is a guy that understands reality tv that was a finale and it was a big one it was a good finale he was this is a guy that understands like he wanted to

go out big he went out big and now he's i don't think he wanted to go out well he didn't want to go out he thought i think he thought that like the military the police and people are going to rise up yeah i think he thought it was going to. I really believe he thought it was going to be like a crazy storm to Capitol until there was a new election. I think he really believed they were going to overturn the election. Correct, yeah. And that's why he was calling the politicians in Georgia and saying, you can be a hero or a pussy. Right, yeah, he was doing that. Just like Andrew Cuomo.

They all do the same shit. They all just call people up and threaten them well do you imagine the pressure of being the president and to be hated as much as that was that guy was when all of your life you've been nothing but loved yeah all of your life and then all of a sudden out of nowhere when you're 73 or whatever the he was yeah he became the president it was also like an an amazing practical joke that he started and then became the president. Right. He didn't really want to be president. He wanted to develop ratings for The Apprentice.

And then he just became, but that's how fucked the country was. They were so fucked up. People were like, no, we're going to make this guy president. Not just fucked, but the whole media system. I just read Hate Inc. from Matt Taibbi. Yeah. whole media system i just read uh hate inc from matt taibbi yeah and he he goes into depth about how this started really in the 80s with reagan and like where this this whole yeah the the media developed this sort of industry that was based upon getting people really upset about things

and then of course with social media and the algorithms of Facebook and all these, it became weaponized where people leaned into the things that they hated and then it generated extreme wealth for the people that ran Facebook and all these social media sites. And then that became their sort of business model, whether it's CNN or CNBC. You know, CNN's ratings dropped 45% right after Trump left office. Right. And Fox dropped. A lot of them dropped

because like it became there's no boom fan anymore. It's boring now, dude. It's boring. There's nothing left. I mean, now it's just like shut it the fuck down. Shut CNN down.

Make Chris Cuomo go work in an Italian deli. Like, these motherfuckers are done. Let him help his thugi. Like, these motherfuckers are done. Let him help his thug brother. Like, dude, there's nothing left. There's not a thing left for these people. Fox News is going to still sell gold coins to elderly dementia patients in between.

Whatever they're selling. Some fucking commemorative pin. Apocalypse food. A Rush Limbaugh Christmas ornament. Whatever it is, just let them fucking do it and let's all go back to living like people yeah i like what you're saying let's hope enjoy clubhouse enjoy clubhouse all right we'll do a quick one after this are you really yeah we'll do this i'll fuck you up yeah because no one will know because this isn't live so we'll we'll go on

club oh just go on club that's gonna be great you gotta sign up yeah but i don't want that fucking app on my phone then you delete it right after Joe I don't trust anybody delete it and that people are gonna come up

and they're gonna try to be speakers I have multiple phones and you'll tell me you'll go yeah you got your many phones

yeah but that's a good idea it's a good idea oh I've got three now yeah that's crazy I have three levels of A, B, and C

you're A oh i appreciate it thank you very much yeah very good um this is this is a b c this is everything the problem with that is like they're tracking you oh i'm being tracked if they're not tracking me they're not working yeah that's what i said yeah that's what they're they're tracking sometimes i talk to the phone yeah so listen bitch i'm about to jerk off yeah you want to watch yeah did you say that i have one person i talked on the phone a lot and like we always hear weird noise on our phones oh yeah you're listening by the way i was talking to a friend of mine i heard in it in like a dial tone yeah i'm like what am i in the 80s yeah that's dude i've gone

on my phone where it's literally sounds like they literally sounds like I hear crackling and it's weird. I'm like, I don't know what it is. I don't want to be paranoid, but I'm like, the week I did the Alex Jones podcast with you, the phone was like wonky. It was a week before the election. Something. They're looking for the boogeyman now. That's what's interesting. They're looking for the next boogeyman.

Who's he going to be? Who's he going to be? The bad guy. Who's he going to be? The next Trump. I don't know know Not me, hopefully I wonder what's going to happen in 2024 I wonder how this is going to go down

Kamala vs. Nikki Haley Who's Nikki Haley? That Republican From South Carolina What does she do again? I don't know It'll be Kamala and her. Maybe not, but that's my bet.

The Republicans put up a woman. Democrats put up a woman. I think it'll be DeSantis. I think it'll be a guy from Florida. Might be. I think that, listen, that guy, whatever you want to think about him, if you look at the COVID numbers like he makes a really good point like the numbers are not like they opened up fucking everything in florida schultz is down there in florida yeah he said they look at you like a pussy if you have a mask on right

and meanwhile their numbers aren't elevated their deaths aren't elevated they're not but florida they'll they'll they'll i mean florida'll do it they'll fudge a number too they'll throw you into the fucking lagoon they don't know the numbers the numbers but florida they'll they'll they'll i mean florida'll do it they'll fudge a number too they'll throw you into the fucking lagoon they don't know the numbers the numbers but uh yeah i think it'll be hailey versus harris who knows yeah i'm i just want to go back let's all go back to bed for eight years and then in 2028 when it's like who, who knows? God only knows what QAnon will be then. It'll be alien Anon. I think what's going to save us is something along the lines of Neuralink. Something that allows you to legitimately read people's intentions.

Legitimately understand how a person's thinking. So the people that are full of shit, it gets exposed like it's a purple light. Well, that's very interesting. I think that's maybe one of the only things that's going to save us. And I think that we're putting ourselves into, we're boxing ourselves into this corner. And I think that with technology, we're boxing ourselves, right? With Facebook and Twitter and this addiction to commentary and input. And maybe the only thing that's going to save us from disingenuous people

that are using these platforms to express these dishonest opinions, like where they don't really think this way. They're just trying to manipulate people and use these narratives to try to gather attention. And like we were talking about before, lean into the love and lean into the attention, lean into what's getting them praise and we're gonna if there's some sort of revolutionary advance in communication the same way the internet was right we didn't see the internet coming the 90s rolled around then all of a sudden

people on aol and you know you know meeting up in chat rooms and remember the early days of aol there's a lot of fucking kiddie porn that was being distributed through AOL. My friend Barry Crimmins. There was a documentary about it. Yeah, because he was abused when he was a child. He was raped. And he talked about it. He got them to remove that shit,

but they were aware of it, and they were keeping it up. This is the 90s. Really? Yes! The Barry Crimmins documentary, Bobcat Goldthwait did it and it is fucking brilliant it's fucking brilliant and it's it's scary because you realize like jesus christ

this was just 20 plus years ago they were doing this where they were allowing this stuff to to live and they felt like ah it's the internet i don't have to do anything about it like you know you have to stop this like these people are being victimized this is child porn crazy it's yeah and yeah and barry because of his own past because of his own his his history of being raped and abused you know you know i fucking loved that guy yeah he was when i started out in comedy he was the boogeyman in a good way. He was the guy that kept everybody in line because he was very politically savvy, very intelligent, and he hated hacks. He hated liars, and he hated joke thieves. He forced them out of comedy, man. He was like the policeman.

He was like the enforcer. Because he was the smart guy. Right. Amongst a lot of – the other guys were smart too, but they were like the policeman. He was like the enforcer. Because he was the smart guy. Right. Amongst a lot of... The other guys were smart too, but they were like wild people. The Boston comedy scene was filled with guys like Lenny Clark and Don Gavin. They were doing coke and fucking drinking shots every night. They were animals.

Savages. Hilarious, but savages. Right. And then you had Barry Crimmins, who was this also brilliant comedian, but had a moral compass and ethical compass and understood the political world in a way that these guys didn't. And he was the guy. When that guy was nice to me, I was like, whew. Yeah. Like, really, I was nervous, man.

He was the guy I was fucking nervous about when I was starting out in Boston. Yeah. man he was the guy i was fucking nervous about yeah when i was starting out in boston yeah and it was uh you you kind of need a person like that in a scene to you do so but neural link is a little scary too because you're putting a chip in your head yeah but it's all scary man you got a chip in your pocket that's a good point you got a thing on your fucking table right now you're addicted to clubhouse i'm addicted i think you the way you feel about Neuralink, I feel about Clubhouse. I believe that'll save us. It might. No. It might. It might. Probably not. All of it

might. I think we're in a this tumultuous period where we're working these things out. But I think ultimately we're going to figure it out. I've always been an optimist. As much as I've been a critic of things, i'm very optimistic

i i genuinely love people right as much as people are mean and people are vicious and people i think a lot of that is because they're scared and they're sad and they're angry and they're failures and they don't they don't have their own shit together i think that's what causes people to lash out right and and lie and attack and all the different things that people do that are so problematic and so gross. Right. But I think all that is based on fear. If you can give people a low level, like a micro dose of ecstasy all the time, just just a micro dose of small just a just enough to be like it doesn't matter right what's what's important really it's not these insecurities that

keep us clashing with each other that's mostly what it is right if we could just be nice to each other the the real problems of life is they're not as big as we think they are right we can work out most other than like health right death injuries you know violence all those other than those it's like maybe when i when i skip the line at water burger i'm doing it out of fear yeah if you're scared to go hungry and i have to evolve to realize that i can't come from that scarcity mindset. Whoever that person is that ratted Tim Dillon out, reach out to us. Find us. Please reach out to us.

We'll have you on here with Tim. Imagine it's like Governor Rabbit. It's Ted Cruz. It's Ted Cruz. It's Ted Cruz and his daughters. Ted Cruz and his daughters on the way to Cancun. Just wanted a quick cheeseburger. Yeah. You piece of shit.

Fuck him. So are you stuck here? No, I'm leaving tomorrow morning, supposedly. Hopefully at 7 a.m. You really have a flight? 7 a.m. Going over to Providence. Nice.

All right. Going to Boston. Thank you. Listen, I'm glad you're here, brother. Of course. Going to have fun. Thank you, buddy. I'm really glad you're here.

I'm excited to be here. It means a lot. All right, buddy. Goodbye, everyone. Bye-bye.