The Joe Rogan Experience - #1620 - Nate Bargatze

Episode Date: March 17, 2021

Nate Bargatze is a standup comedian and host of the "Nateland" podcast. His new comedy special, "The Greatest Average American", premieres March 18 on Netflix.

the Joe Rogan experience train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day hello welcome to Austin Texas how you doing I'm good you're a Nashville resident now huh I am yeah I'm from there so when did you move back? It's been six years. I started in Chicago. I moved from Nashville to Chicago first, and then New York for about nine years, and then L.A. for a couple.

And I started touring on the road a lot more, and then I moved back to Nashville. It was the first, what I thought to myself, the first unselfish thing I did for my family in comedy yeah was to get I was being gone so much we have an eight-year-old I mean at the time we had a two-year-old so uh and so I was like just leaving them you know and I was like let's just go but when I first moved back I didn't tell anybody really I was afraid people would think I'd quit comedy isn't that weird I know I was so like you can only do comedy in a couple places yeah

yeah i was so scared i had my buddy rory scoville like he i moved didn't tell him and he came to nashville and i was like hey i'll pick you up at the airport i'm like at my parents house and then i picked him up and drove to my home and i was like i've been gone for six months And then I picked him up and drove to my home. And I was like, I've been gone for six months. Because I realized you weren't seeing anybody. Yeah. If you're on the road a lot, it almost doesn't matter where you live as long as you have a workout room.

Yes. And you use Zany's? Is that your spot? I use Zany's. But I would do, Zany's is my workout room. I started changing where I really started working out on the road. Like it was doing just constantly touring. And so I liked building the act, you know, in that long format, like doing that hour. Right.

Like, I'm doing it right now. And so, like, having to build it where I would always eye open with new, and I like to see how far I can get. And then so I can have some kind of gauge so you're open with new yeah because you're the most excited about it right it's fresh and it's fresh and like and usually your audiences will give you the the most grace at the top so you can kind of be like let me just I'm excited about them the most excited about these jokes I'm going to get a little grace from them because they're excited that you're coming out and then so i do that and then and then i can get a real timing because you know one time uh i mixed in old and new after a special and i remember a guy afterwards like

being like i did like all old stuff and i was like no i did half new because it's mixed in they don't know right and so that way if i do if i open with it i mean i'll even like after a special if i got 40 new and i have to close with from 20 from the special i'll tell the crowd i was like all right that's all the new jokes i got and then they feel like oh then afterwards they're like i got so many new jokes and they feel great about it that's an interesting um change of thought process between like the old guard and like the the newer comics that are doing specials on a regular basis like the olden days guys would keep an act forever yeah keep an act for 10 15 20 years i mean it was uh so i when i've started i've moved to uh actually i have a

story with you oh yeah about first starting oh you were responsible for basically the first time I ever went on stage uh I mean almost in a comment I think zany Chicago might have been the first actual club I went to is either that or the comedy store so I was friends with uh a buddy of mine Josh Baker he was in the band prom kings do you remember band I think yeah yeah and so we came out to L.A. to hang out with him, and so they knew you. And so this is, I mean, I think it's 2003 or 2004, and I've been doing comedy maybe a year. And so we come out, and then you invite us to the show at the comedy store. So we come watch you. We sit in the front row.

I remember all this stuff that's like a nightmare as a comedy. Now when you think back, then I didn't care. Had you been thinking about doing it already? I already started. I moved to Chicago. So I was in Chicago with like Hannibal and Pete Holmes and T.J. Miller and Kumail. Like that was kind of the group that was in Chicago. So we went from Chicago to L.A. to go just visit.

And so we hung out with them. We go to your show. You introduced them at one of their shows. Because I guess you were good friends with the band or you liked this band. And so you introduced them at one of their shows. I guess you were good friends with the band, or you liked this band. So you introduced them, and I remember I talked to you afterwards. We were at the show, and I'm talking about comedy. I'm trying not to be. I'm a new comic, so I don't even really know what to ask.

You were very, very nice. Then we go watch you, and you said, you're going to go up at the comedy store. It was when you had to sign up for the open mic the week later. So you signed up for the Monday to go up the next week. And I was like, well, I was like,

I'm not going to be here. And, uh, you go, I'll call. And then you got me on stage that you called and said, Hey, he's just in town doing this.

I'm gonna do, I'm a year comic. It worked out. It worked out. Dude. They brought me up they go uh this next comic's uh one of joe rogan's best friends and then they were i mean the other comics were just furious and i'm like i don't i was like we met him last night he's a very nice

guy that's a funny thing man the those little like nudges and like uh little pieces of good criticism or good praise from a comic when you're starting out, that could go so far. So far. I remember to this day, Lenny Clark, I'd done stand-up, I'd done it for like a year, and I'd gotten paid one time before.

This was the second time I ever got paid, and I opened up for Lenny Clark in Pittsfield Massachusetts this was I think I've done this show really yeah is that Jays Jays and pits was it in a hotel um I don't think so I've done a Pittsfield mask it was a like a night club and it was it was like one of the best road gigs like everybody getting it was a three-hour drive from Boston but it was one of of the best road gigs like everybody get it was a three-hour drive from boston but it was one of those road gigs where everybody would get excited and this was after lenny had been on hbo he was on the ronnie dangerfield young comedian special the ronnie

whatever ronnie called it and so seeing just being around him was crazy and an opening for him was even more crazy and then after i got off stage he was like kid you're really funny like with that crazy boston accent and man that powered me through like years for through years i was i was like oh man i'm doing this like i'm i'm never quitting now like lenny clark said i'm funny fuck yeah i'm good it's the it's the it's gigantic yeah like that was you doing that at that time a i knew the comedy store but it's not like i even really and then it was like going to new york and then be like i've already done the comedy store at least even though it was the open mic it was just i saw the world and i got to see the world and then talking to you at that uh the band you were just talking about going up and like you got

to go up like you know stuff that you would say to comics but it was like stuff that i didn't know at that time and you realize you know that that's enormous yeah that's enormous i did that pittsfield mass gig uh because i was in new york i opened up for tony v oh i love tony yeah and they i was the host got paid 500 $500. It was crazy. Like, I was like, this is crazy. I've never been paid $500 for a gig. Right. It's packed. It's sold out. I mean, you just murder.

And I thought maybe it wasn't at a hotel. I don't remember. My wife went with me. It was a big night. They gave me $500 cash. I end up, later on that night, I lose the $500. Oh, no. It just falls out.

So the night goes from this amazing night with my wife for $500 to now we're in a fight. And I still think, I tell her every day, because at the time I was like, are you ever going to remember this $500? I always kind of live by that motto. I'll get another $500. I bring it up still. I mean, it's been 15 years and I still just go, you remember that $500? Just to make that point.

just go you remember that 500 like just to make that point tony v gave me uh a really interesting piece of advice one day because he was telling me that he drove from boston to new york he i think it was a he got a writing gig i forget what the gig was but he had to travel on a regular basis he was still living in boston but he was doing the gig in new york and i go that's like a three and a half hour drive like how, how often do you do that? And it was regular, like multiple times a week. And I said, how are you doing that? He goes, I just go zen. He goes, I just say, this is what I'm doing now.

I don't get upset. I just say, this is what I'm doing. I'm driving. And I just think about it that way. And I remember thinking like, oh, yeah, you can do that, right? You can just say, this is what I'm, instead of going, fuck, I i can't believe i'm driving three and a half hours how much time is left two hours and 19 minutes fuck instead of thinking like that you can just drive just drive just yeah it's a great way to the the zen idea of it yeah i can do that with food i eat terrible but uh sometimes if I if I'm trying to eat better it's like and it's not a lot but you

try to think like I'm gonna eat uh a decent mildew I'm gonna have like a steak and green beans tonight or something whatever that's all I know that's like good I don't know I'm like real quick I don't want to be wheat I'm on the salad and I wrap my head around it very early in the day to go that's what I'm expecting because I can go the other way you know I think I'm gonna be something bad like and that doesn't happen like I'll you know I'll lose my mind it's uh but it is it's very I don't know if that's zen yeah it is you just got to decide this is what you're doing I mean that's how it is with everything with exercise with writing like you just got to decide I'm writing now i'm getting up are you a word for word not necessarily but sometimes sometimes i write something and it works word for word most of the time not though most of the time what i do is i write essays

like i'll have a subject that i'm working on so i have this long long form idea like oh you know whatever subject coffee whatever pick a subject. So as I'm writing, I just start writing all this shit about coffee. And then out of it, somewhere, something, I'll go, aha, I got something. And I'll extract that, and I'll put it on a separate piece of paper, a separate file. I'll say this is, you know, there's something in there. There's something there. Yeah, and then sometimes there is and sometimes there's not.

And I have fucking, I don't know how many of these files that never went anywhere. I'll go back to them and just check, like, panning for gold again. What do you got in here? Anything? Nothing? Nothing? Fuck. And I'll just, every now and then.

But sometimes bits just come to you on stage, too. And you've got to be open to that. Like, sometimes you'll be at dinner and someone will say something. You have some fucking hilarious retort to that and you're like holy shit that could be a bit you know like my friends do that all the time like they'll say something hilarious and i'm like dude you got to write that down that there's something in that like you never know you never know and then that can become a bit it's uh i had my on my last special, I have a joke, where I went golfing and a guy saw me with no shirt on. And he just said, Olivia. He thought I was his, he was looking for his elderly wife and saw me with no shirt on.

And from a distance, he thought we had the same build. And he's like, oh, he's like, Olivia. So that happened. And I opened that, but I always think that that's crazy. That was a month before i taped that special and that's what i opened the special with where you have to be open to the idea that you're like i don't know you know when it happened i knew i was like well this is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me you know like it was i like i was i was i called a

couple people on the drive to be like this is is funny, right? You know, like, make sure you're not, like, a crazy person. And then I went, and I was going to, like, Tampa, the improv in Tampa. And I, like, drove there, and I opened with it that night. And I was like, this is a new opener on the special. Yeah, you never know. You never know. That's the beautiful thing about creating, about comedy. It just comes out of the air.

It just comes out of your mind. It's just like. And you feel, you get nervous when you... I mean, after a special, though, there's definitely moments. Like right now, when you're trying to write new stuff

and you're like, dude, I might be one of the worst comedians that have ever lived. I think that all the time. I go... Well, that's... I think it's one of the great things about comedy

that it keeps you humble because you're always a beginner every two years in. Yes. You do a special and then you're a beginner again because you have always a beginner every two years in yes you do a special and then you're a beginner again because you have all this stuff you have to work out and it's really hard like during the pandemic there's only been a few guys that i know that have like burt kreischer has been the most gangster about it he's toured regularly from the jump he started doing those

drive-in movie shows like he kind of i'm pretty sure it was burt's idea to do these drive-in shows i think he started it i did it i did them too i did like 20 of them and yeah he was i mean he would kill him like i mean he's kind of built for that like oh yeah like it was like perfect it's like he's a big act like he turns like big energy big performing takes his shirt off everybody honks their horn you know, I had someone, we go to Butler, PA, it's pretty rough when you see a Ford F-150's lights hit you in the face because they leave early. Like, that's the hard part. Like, when you're on stage, dude, and it's just truck, these lights just hit you, and

he couldn't figure out how to get out, so he's just driving, and you're like, just leave, man. You're like, please someone help him get out. It's so rough. That's hilarious. That's the most inconspicuous or non-inconspicuous leaving ever. In a fucking truck. He's a truck.

He's going to start that car and let it warm up. He's like, we're going soon. That's hilarious. Oh, God. Those were tough. That's what I had to do. But you know what if you went into it with the right attitude because i know some comics were like these are the worst and

they are it's not ideal but if you went into it i go these people are coming out they haven't been able to do anything it's not what does it matter if my feelings are not like i don't feel like i'm getting laughs right that's not what it's about. And it's about making these people be happy. And they did, in Chicago, we did Chicago, it was 500 cars. When I walked out, people flashing lights, honking the horns, they honked for laughs because it was like 45 degrees, raining. So they're on the windows up, and they would kind of just do little beeps. That's so weird.

But you learn that, you know, I just need a response. That's kind of like you just, once know i just need a response that's kind of like you just once you like the zen idea of it you just when you go into it with a better attitude i'm not mad the whole time i'm up there did you hear laughs at all uh there'd be a couple people sitting up front but not really wow and so you'd hear that you'd hear just some like honking and laughing did it fuck with your timing at all uh yeah i mean yeah i did 24 minutes of 60 minute material i got off i got that was long right there you haven't we barely started i was like oh god uh did you really do 24 minutes no my special i did though the one uh it was i did i had i had it timed out to 64 minutes you did have to figure out how to be like

just trust that they're laughing right you know what i mean and then so we did the special they had everybody way to do universal studios in uh california 100 people all of them had to get tested but then also still had to wear masks during the show and uh the first night for you tape two shows first show uh 64 minute is what my material was running at the drive-ins. First show, I did 43 minutes. Wow. How come? Because I realized you could hear some laughs, not really much,

and you can't see their faces. So you just look like you're – I mean, you're just looking at eyes. And so unless a guy, like, shook because he was laughing so hard, I mean, you're just telling a joke just to like eyes not moving. That's so weird. And it was tough. And so the second one, I was like, all right, well, we have to, you know, I got off. You know, when you get off and you're like, that's not, that was cool.

And the second one, did you make them take their masks off? No, but we had. Was this Universal in Hollywood? Yeah. Universal Studios. Yeah. And they, so we had, they had my the crowd the audience had mics on their tables and so he put that in my monitor up a little louder and so i could hear

them laugh through the mask oh because they're laughing but it's like i just can't hear yeah yeah yeah it's so frustrating when you're talking to people like and they're trying to give you directions or explain something and you're just leaning in i just pull it down what's that you come around the plastic you know you go somewhere they have the plastic thing i just you go around it and pull your mask down what's that they're like well that's not what you're supposed to do at all like you just make it way worse well people that have already had covid they're so fucking they're just they don't care at all like they're just free people yeah like people that have gotten had COVID, they're so fucking, they don't care at all. They're just free people.

They're like people that have gotten out of jail and can never go back. Robbing cars. It doesn't matter. That's how they behave. That's how Jamie is. They're flagrant. They go out to clubs. Hinchcliffe is the same way.

Yeah, they get this attitude about it, like, I'm free. Yeah. Well, a lot of people have a lot of power right now i was like talking a little bit about it in my new act not to do my act but it was like but the idea that like everybody gets to tell someone yeah to pull your mask up i can go tell anybody i want so like everybody has power yes just a guy on the street can go your mask is a little down yeah that guy's got power over you cover your nose cover your and you're like i don't even know that you know yeah you have to kind of respond and listen to him or you're a dick yeah yeah it's a lot of power

i saw some guy was fucking with people he made a mask that looked like he wasn't wearing a mask it looked like the mask was under his chin so the mask is like a mask of his face and then this part looks like one of them operating masks but it's under the chin yeah and some lady was yelling at him at a store he's like i'm wearing a mask she goes no you're not wearing it the right way and like she was looking right at him and just kind of like not trying not to make eye contact so not clearly recognizing that it's a fake. It's good. It was good.

It was like a photograph, you know. But it was funny to watch the anger that people have. But yeah, people get real upset about it. I mean, I, you know, I always say, like, have you been to a place where it's been uncomfortable to have the mask on? Like, if you go farther out of like a, and I've walked in with a mask on, and you walk in, and you're like, oh, sorry about that, everybody. Like, you just feel like they're like, what's COVID, dude? Like, why do you have a mask on?

Andrew Schultz is in Miami right now. Yeah. And that's what he said. He said it's like that there. He said it is fucking bananas. He goes, they don't give a shit. He goes, no one's wearing a mask. He goes, they're going to nightclubs. He goes, people are just out there wandering around.

Florida has no rules. They're just wide open. Texas is on the verge of that. They've kind of announced no rules, but they're fighting in here in Austin, but the cases are down in Austin, so they're lowering. We were talking to the nurse out there. They're lowering whatever the stage it is that you're allowed to do things. Yeah, everything's going down.

But I went to – I just did stand-up live in Phoenix, and it was half capacity. So they said they could open to 100%, but then they still have to be six feet apart, so you can't. So it's like little stuff like that where they can't open. You can't tell them because comedy clubs pack them in. I thought they just went full open recently. They did.

Still? But you have to be six feet apart. Oh, really? Yeah, you still have to be socially distanced. So you can't go. It's kind of impossible to go full because if you're in a building and they're like, we can have full capacity in here, and you're like, well, I can only fit.

And you're like, well, everybody still needs to be six feet apart. You're like, well, then I guess we're not. Were they really six feet apart at Santa Blive, though? Because Callan told me it was packed. It was packed. I always think these clubs look, they, of course, look packed. But when you go walk around, those tables, we forget how packed comedy clubs got it.

They got it really packed. Right. And so now people are sitting just kind of how they're supposed to sit. In real life. In real life. Like if you go to a restaurant, it's just, you know, you're not just on a stranger's back. Right. And you're just not supposed to look at someone's text right over your shoulder. Oh, just every day. They have the they have the plexiglass to on the tables.

Yeah, I saw this about Fauci said the U.S. considering updating three foot social distancing guidelines and key move to reopen schools. Yeah, they're saying there's no difference between six foot and three foot. Like, stop. I don't understand it. I always try to you've tried to figure all this stuff out. Like, I think there's a I always think we have a graph problem in this country. Like, there's too many graphs and I don't understand. Like, they just keep throwing more out there. And they always say per capita. And you're like, I don't know. I don't even know they just keep throwing more out there and they always say per capita and you're like i don't know i don't even know what's per capita of what like i have no idea like per capita of florida you're like i don't know that could be good or bad i don't know what that means that means the population well it means like it's per like whatever the number would be

whether it's per thousand or per million people so like if you have a place like california that has 40 million people in the state versus a place like wyoming that has less than a million yeah you would say how many covid cases they have per capita like per 100 people like so wyoming if they're they're basing it on whatever the number is so if they're basing it on 100 people they say wyoming has you know x amount per capita versus California has whatever the number is. Why would they not just use the real numbers? Because they want you to think differently. Because if California has 2 million cases, there's 40 million people. Wyoming only has less than a million people in the entire state.

So if Wyoming has 1,000 cases, like, oh, my God,oming is a huge success story not necessarily oh because they got less per capita based on the amount of people that are there like yeah there's one out of every you know 10 people has covet or one out of every hundred people has covet versus california whatever the number is that's what per capita seems like a lot to be honest but i barely made out of high school joe so i don't know what's going on listen i barely made out of high school too i used to have nightmares about uh being forced to go back out of high school oh yeah yeah i used to have nightmares about like i didn't get my my requirements like i didn't care um i i didn't necessarily care what my grades were i just wanted to get out but what i did care is i didn't want to be a high school dropout yeah like a high school dropout to me at the time

was like a death sentence like for sure you're gonna be a loser yeah which was my number one fear like was that i was gonna be a loser i was so scared of being a loser i went to college just because i didn't want people to think i was a loser yeah because i went like a whole year without doing any college at all like i went like graduating to when I was, I guess I graduated 17 to whatever the fuck, the next year. And I answered so many questions. Like, oh, I'm taking a year off. And people look at you like, oh, man. Here we go.

You're becoming a fucking loser. Yeah, here we go. I'm like, shit, I'm going to be a loser. It was before people traveled abroad, too. You're like, i'm taking a year off no one said that well dude i lived in boston they didn't even travel to other cities yeah like they didn't go anywhere and you and it was like such a blue car i was in i lived in a place called newton upper falls which is like this blue collar you know it was a nice area real quiet like go back to it now it's like wow i grew up in a cool place but it was uh very hard-working people you know which is cold weather people are hard

working people they they value hard work because you have to shovel yourself out of your fucking driveway period you know you have to go to work when it's cold period you know you want to keep food on the table you got to get firewood. You got to do something to keep the house warm. Period. You have to work. You can't just fuck off. And there's places where, like California, you can just kind of chill. You can't chill in Boston.

You'll freeze to death. Yeah, air-conditioned heat goes out in California. You're like, we're fine. Like in LA, it's like the greatest. Every day is the greatest day ever. Yeah. I mean, it feels amazing when i remember when i first came there in like 1993 i came i was doing something with uh mtv and me and my friend

gary valentine we uh went out there and he was staying with me and we were wandering around we were like dude this is paradise this is like another day in paradise every day it was like the sun was shining yeah it was beautiful is that was beautiful. Who was your guys that you started with? Like Valentine? Valentine I knew because I was good friends with Kevin James. And it's Kevin's brother. And, you know, I had left Boston right when Burr was coming up. So Burr was coming up right when I was leaving.

And then I went to New York right after that. So the guys that were with me, like I met Chappelle when he was like Dave I think Dave was like 18 or 19 yeah and um you know Norton I knew Norton back then I knew Neil Brennan when he was a doorman he was a doorman at Boston Comedy yeah so Marin was he yeah Marin was one of the guys that gave me like a really nice compliment when I was an open mic er when I was a raw open mic er just hadn't been doing it very long at all yeah and he said something nice to me and I remember like because he was a professional what everybody's my when you first go I went to so when I moved in New York I went to Boston Comedy Club and I barked and handed out flyers oh did you do that i did exactly what i did with pete holmes his show i did exactly that show

so uh with pete he got me i moved like five months after pete did and he was like i'm barking at this club and so i was like all right i'll go do that i remember just standing on the corner it it taught me to learn to like when i have goals in comedy was like learn just to have little goals like I never set big goals I always set just a goal that I can get and then so I was like I don't want to be on this corner so I was like how do I get off this corner and then it's like you just want to go stand in the door like I just I would like at that moment dream of just being able to take people's tickets at the door right and so you're like and you, and you're just, you know, handing these flyers out. People are just dropping them in front of your face. Like, no one cares, dude.

Like, just throwing them. It's like 25 degrees out. You're like, eh. And so, but I was at Boston. So Chappelle used to always come by. This is 2004 or 5. So Chappelle would always come by and do spots. He'd go up in front of six, seven people.

No one was there. And then we'd go outside and just say, hey, Chappelle's on stage. This was when Chappelle's show has already been off the air. No, it's right before he ended it. Oh, so it was on. It was on. Wow. He would come.

I remember him coming and having white makeup on his neck, like if he played a white person on the Chappelle show. And he would still have it on, because he'd come from there to... Straight to the club. Straight to the club. And so we'd go up at Boston, and everybody would go on stage.

I'll never forget these one people. They walked by, and I said, Hey, Dave Chappelle's on stage. If y'all can go watch for free. And Boston Comedy Club, remember we had those steps, and there was a window. And they go, I don't believe you.

I was like, well, I'm at a comedy club. So I was like, he's in there. Just go look in the window. If he's not there, then don't go in. And they were like, no. And they left. I think about those people every day. They could have watched Chappelle for free.

Those people and that $500. Those $500. I bring them to my wife every day. could have watched your belt for free those people in that 500 bucks those 500 bucks we bring i bring them to my life every day those people too i did uh dave show when he was in new york uh when we did this this fear factor episode and tyrone biggums was on fear factor and uh it was in a warehouse it was in the middle of the winter freezing fucking cold no heat in the warehouse so we had these little blast furnace you know those things that they do on sets yeah it's like yeah those things that are blowing hot air out and you know you just stand in front of that until it's time to do the scene and then you go out there and do the scene and everybody would run back and stand in front of the blast furnaces

but he was in character the whole day as Tyrone Biggums. He was having so much fun. Yeah. He was, I mean, watching him, he would come by, you know, and he would go up for a while. He hosted one that when, I think it's when Boston switched to the Comedy Village. Like he was like, my buddy Dustin Chaffee is the one that got us. He was running the Boston at the time.

And then it switched to Comedy village i forever sold it but then chapelle came by one night and hosted for everybody like all the even the open mic guys that were going up because he would come up and just do whatever obviously whatever he wanted and uh it was and getting to see that bill burr was a big deal for me uh patrice o'al. I used to sit in Patrice's car because he would park it out front of the Boston. You couldn't park there. And he'd go on stage and I would sit in his car. And so if a cop came, I would just drive his car around and wait till he got done. Wow. I went to their, I saw Burr and Patrice were, everybody's a big deal, but they were, they

were big for me because when I went to New York, you know, at that time, 2005, something like that, they're, you know, Burr's just a comic that people know him in New York, but he's not doing, he's not what he is now, obviously. And so they would come by and they would run their HBO one night stands for these 30 minutes specials. And I remember I timed Patrice's one night.

He didn't ask me, by the way, just like a young comic being like, I'll time it for you. And he gets off. And this is, I have no concept of being on TV. I think like he has to do 30 to the dot. Right. And I tell him afterwards, I was like, that was like 34 minutes.

And he just like looked at me and walked away. He was just like, there was no reason for me. I mean, I was so embarrassed about doing it and now i know but it was like at the time i was just trying to be uh you know a good comic and like did you see his uh the comedy central documentary they did about him i haven't watched it yet i haven't got to watch it i haven't either i haven't either but i will make myself for sure, but I've seen so many of his sets. He was the best. He was for sure one of the greats, for sure. But maybe even more important, he was a cornerstone of not giving a fuck.

You know what I mean? You had to have a guy like that that was an elite stand-up comic. It was like, what the fuck are you talking about? And you needed a guy like that to have a great point like really well thought out point that was hilarious that showed you why you shouldn't care or why something was stupid yeah like i remember um there was uh some controversy about uh opie and anthony and he went on some show and someone woman was saying that certain jokes could never be funny and you know and and he went and said like a joke that was on that subject that was funny yeah and then and he was like look at all but this is a point that he had that's like a really good point that i stick with

to this day it's like it all comes from the same place whether the joke is funny or the joke is not, whether it's offensive or whether it's hilarious and non-offensive. It's coming from the same place. You're just trying to be funny. And when you're a comic, you understand that because you'll say something that some people might find offensive. But the only reason why you're saying it is not because you're trying to be mean. You're saying it because you think there's something funny in there like you're trying to find the funny and sometimes like you'll slip and it doesn't doesn't work at all and sometimes agreeable is not funny right yeah yeah like the whole point of it is like i can't agree with you exactly comedy's

all built from sometimes if someone like they'll be like oh you're being mean to him you're like well i don't that's what the comedy's mean sometimes it's mean i i told a joke where i said i did some of my dad but i came out and i did a show these people didn't expect a comedy so they didn't know i was a comedian and i started telling my act they don't know what i'm doing so it just sounds like i'm doing a mean speech because that's what comedy is if you have no if there's no context to it. You'd be like, this guy's the worst. And you're like, oh, but if I just told them I was the comedian, they would be like, oh, okay, they get it. I still live to this day by some Patrice said.

So I kind of started with Big Jay, Kurt Metzger. Kurt Metzger, by the way, and Kurt and Big Jay were one of the comics I ever saw that I just was like really, where I was like, you moved to New York and you're like, oh man, this is like the real. These guys are like really good. Have you been paying attention to what Metzger's doing with Kyle Dunnigan? Yeah.

Fuck. Yeah. Metzger's one of the funniest guys I've ever. Just super smart. I remember watching him at the very beginning. He would take me on the road. We'd do like these old, weird gigs. And so he would just call me his opener.

And I'm like friends with Kurt at this point. I drove him to the gig. And we'd be in the elevator, and he's just on the phone. He's like, what's that? No, I'm sitting here with my opener. I'm like, Kurt, just say my buddy. my opener i'm like kurt just say my buddy like you know like we're it's not like i'm opening for like you know seinfeld or something right like it's like you're you're getting paid uh eight hundred dollars for this weekend dude like he just called me that to my face and i got him in that

room though because he we were we shared a hotel room that's where like the gig we're doing and he goes to put uh we're going to the bathroom. And he's like, is this lotion? And I would always just mess with him. Or if he asked a dumb question, he goes, I need lotion. It says conditioner. And I go, that's it. It's conditioner for your skin.

And I just tell him that. And then I walk in there, and he's just rubbing conditioner all over his body. And then we had to go do radio. That's why he called me opener. He's's a brilliant guy but he's an odd duck the the moment i met him the first time i met him i met him in montreal uh ari introduced me to him and he goes hey what's up and then he goes hey what are you doing for your hair your hair's falling out are you doing anything for it i was like whoa i go yeah i'm minoxidil all kinds of shit he's like yeah me too yeah it was like literally the first words out of his mouth yeah like all right man he's just uh he's got an interesting

way of looking at things but he's also got a a brilliant perspective because he grew up in a cult yeah you know and because he grew up in a cult like he sees a lot of those same patterns in like woke thinking and he's like like where you can't question certain ideologies and he gets really angry because no no no i know what the fuck this is because i grew up with this shit what was he a jehovah's witness yeah that was it what right yeah and you know his stories about growing up as a jehovah's witness for fucking crazy i mean can you imagine that coming to your door like it was just like hey what are you doing with your hair that's the first thing he says you're like oh well he's just i don't know i'm so happy he's around though he's yeah it make me so happy at the comedy store whenever i talk to

him uh uh unbelievable and when i watched him at the very beginning uh the patrice thing the so jay was we used to go to patrice's house for like 4th of July or something. He always had a party at his house. And so I got invited and Jay, and then someone, I got into it with someone else, one of Patrice's friends, basically. And he was like, he told Jay, hey, Patrice doesn't want Nate to come to the party. And then Jay calls Patrice and is like, well, the context of this too is like, so Patrice would always ask me, I grew up in the South, like I grew up, you know, Christian in the South, typical Southern upbringing, going to church, all this stuff.

So Patrice knew that and he would ask me like, do you believe in dinosaurs and stuff? And I would just go with what, I would say no. I believe in them, but like, it was, you know, I was like, I want to just say no. Like, I'm not going to give him what he wants. Right. Because then he would make fun of you and it'd be great. Right, right, right. So I would always do that.

And so then, so Jay calls him and says, hey, our other guy says that Nate can't come to your house for that party. And Patrice was like, what? He goes, I didn't say that. He goes, that dude doesn't believe in dinosaurs. You don't think I want that in my house? I want that all over my house. He goes, he can come to the party party and i've lived my life by that with that i'd open-mindedness

to go if someone came up to me he's like i don't believe in the moon i'd rather talk to that guy than a guy that does believe in the moon like it's funner to be like what's what's what kind of crazy thing like i know there's people out there that don't believe in the moon are there yeah no man i don't have to talk to him yeah i don't believe in the moon? Are there? Yeah. I would love to talk to them. I don't know if I want them to know where I am. It's going to be hard to get away from them if they're that crazy. Hashtag space is fake. You need to Google that.

Google space is fake. There's a bunch of people that think that space is fake and that we are on a flat plane. We're on some sort of a is fake and that we are on a flat plane like we're on some sort of a flat plane and that the stars are lights and that this is all this is like a truman show yes that it's a conspiracy to keep us from understanding that god has created us and that we're we're special we're not one of an infinite number of planets in the universe no no we are we are god's creation and this is this is the the heavenly petri dish or whatever i mean if i start going down there i don't know what capita is so i'll probably be like i'll be in it like i'm just like

this group it's wild man because the thing about these youtube videos is if somebody puts together a youtube video what they can do is talk very eloquently and articulately and say shit that's batshit crazy that doesn't make any sense at all to a scientist. But if they say it and no one interrupts them and goes, stop, that's not how it works. Stop, that's not true. Stop, this is the real statistics. Stop, this is how we know that's not true. And this is how they studied it.

And this is all the scientists that worked on this for 50 fucking years. And then you're making a YouTube video saying that these were all you know nazi propagandists that were put here by the rockefellers to you know the ruined children's education but you could you could say that in a video and if i watch i'm like fuck man you know what i learned today i learned some crazy shit about space it's not even real yeah and there's a bunch it's kind of died off like the flat earth thing was a great example that there was a period of time where it was like a mental contagion like it made its way through a lot of dumb stoners a lot of people that don't read a lot of people that don't pay attention to science or a lot of people that are like really

in disbelief of everything the government says. And there was hundreds of videos about space and the Earth being flat, and that there's an ice wall around Antarctica. It's kind of gone away now. People have abandoned it, for the most part. But I used to follow it to the point where it was like, it was one of the most stunning things about the internet,

was how many people were out there that really believed the world was flat. Yeah. How many people was it? Could it be that many people? I think it was thousands. Thousands. There was a basketball player. Who was the basketball player?

Oh, yeah, Kyrie Irving. Yeah. He was a fighter. He's not anymore. Yeah. He abandoned it. And he admitted it. Did he?

He goes, I went down. He goes, he's like, yeah. Maybe. I think he went down a rabbit hole But this is what I'm saying You can go down a YouTube rabbit hole And watch these videos And they make so much sense

They'll tell you things and they'll speak in this tone And this is why it happened And this is why you think this And this is why it's a lie And you're like wow I've been lied to And it's a mind fuck I then you're like, wow, I've been lied to. And it's a mind fuck. Yeah. I would like to see those guys' families, like just their family life.

Like their daughter's like, I drew a picture. And you're like, I don't have time for this right now. The earth is flat. Like the weight, if that was true, the weight they have to walk around with. They feel like it's a lot. Like they know something that everybody else doesn't. Everybody doesn't. That's how I always look at stuff is like if you do conspiracies you tend to want to be more true

than they're not like if you feel yourself wanting something to be like i hope that's real you're like it's probably not real dude like because it's it's too good right that's bigfoot yeah bigfoot's too good i love bigfoot i love it i believe i watched this uh documentary the other day um it's i think it was it's called um missing persons 411 hunters or something like that and what it's about it's like a really screwy documentary but the the concept of the documentary is that there's a been a bunch of people that just disappeared in the national forest is that it missing 411 the hunted yeah so in national forest like there's people that have disappeared with no trace and not a few of them but really what it is is just

the vastness of the forest i think people underestimate like how vast forests are. It's a lot. It's a lot. I've been to Oregon, Mount Hood. Oh, my God. I told the cab driver, you guys got a lot of trees here. That's how much I was overwhelmed by the trees. Yeah. Just on the ride there, it was uncomfortable.

I was like, this is a lot of trees. He's like, all right. Well, the thing about the Pacific Northwest is it's essentially a rainforest, like Rainier all those areas so the amount of water and nutrients in the soil is absurd so there's the trees are like they're like q-tips in a box of q-tips like you can't believe how dense they are so if you saw a bear moving between those trees you can convince yourself it was a Sasquatch especially if you saw a bear standing up on two feet which they do all the time. Bears walk on two feet all the time. There's tons of video of them doing it.

So if you saw that in between trees from 100 yards away at dusk when it started getting dark, and you're like, shit! And they make weird noises too. Like bears, especially when they're standing up, because a lot of times when they're standing up, they're trying to threaten other bears.

So they're like moving towards them and making themselves bigger by standing up and they'll make this noise which sounds like a gorilla yeah right yeah there's tons of video of i've seen it personally with my eyes in the woods i've seen bears fight and i've seen bears from 30 yards away stand up and go at each other like that i've seen it and i've seen bears from 30 yards away stand up and go at each other like yeah I've seen it and I've seen them make those noises They're threatening each other but if you're in the woods and you see that and it's dark out and maybe you've never seen a bear before and

You know, maybe you're just fucking out on the hike and you see that you're like, oh my god I saw a Bigfoot and you will dedicate your whole life to like finding Bigfoot and finding proof And the floor there in the forest is so thick with leaves and pine needles that when you step on it, it doesn't even leave a footprint. It's just like a soft composting pile. Everything is just sort of deteriorating in these thick layers of pine needles and leaves and sticks and branches and you're not gonna find footprints you're not gonna find uh you know uh less stroud yeah uh

so he did that show about survivor man bigfoot yeah but it just went away bro that show i love i love yeah love survivor man That show was so fucking dumb. He had a guy on the show that is known in the Bigfoot world as being full of shit, which is bad. The Bigfoot world is pretty open-minded. This is one of the things that I wanted to bring up about that 411 The Hunted thing, there's audio recording that was supposedly taken from the 1970s from Northern California. I want to say Sonoma? I don't remember where it was. It was somewhere in Northern California, but they the uh samurai sounds the samurai and it's the weirdest shit ever man it's like these guys had this spot that they would go into the into the mountains and they would hunt every year and they built the

structure out there and then they brought recording equipment and they claim to have recorded sounds of these animals, these Bigfoot. And that these Bigfoot were around them all the time while they were up there. Now, what's crazy about it is the sounds are so weird. It sounds like someone pretending to be Japanese that doesn't actually speak Japanese. Have you ever heard it? We'll play it for you. It's because it's the weirdest shit. It sounds so strange and so fake,

but, you know, like they have these quote-unquote experts that say the human voice is not capable of making sounds remotely similar to this. The range is, which doesn't make any sense if you know who michael winslow is yeah right yeah yeah that guy who that guy went on he does a woman peeing when she goes to the bathroom he does everything yeah he does everything he did led zeppelin he played whole lot of love with his mouth and it sounds incredible but um this samurai sound like there's these loud whoops

whoops and these guys are like in the foreground you know like the guys who're recording they're trying to communicate with these things they sound so calm i mean if there really was giant fucking eight foot apes out there wandering around like you know two three hundred yards away from you screaming and whooping and talking would you really and you're in the woods would you really be so calm? Wouldn't you be freaking the fuck out with these guys? Do you have it?

Yeah, I'm trying to make sure I find the right thing because I'm stumbling across some traps. Oh. Like people are making fucking around the internet. I wish I could remember

the gentleman's name. Well, I think I have it is all I'm saying. So Ronald J. Moorhead and Alan Barry, maybe? Is that right? Yes, Ron Moorhead. Yeah. Yeah maybe is that right yes ron moorhead yeah yeah that's it the sierra mountains that's what it is

and so um it's the weirdest shit ever listen just listen to this you're gonna i read what it could be but we'll listen first it could be bullshit yeah. It could be. That's how I say it all aboard. Listen to the guy. Hold on. Stop, stop, stop. This is a terrible version of it. There's a better version of it where you can hear the guys really clearly. The people talking. I don't know why that's so scratchy.

But they're like, they're over by the lake. They're talking like that. They hear this very strange sound. And they're talking like that. They hear... This very strange sound. And they're being calm about it. Yeah. And these, you know, supposed vocal experts are analyzing it. The human body is incapable of making such sounds. You know, in that area of...

You got it? I don't know. It says HD. Okay, let me hear it. Yeah. They're knocking. That's another thing that Sasquatch do. They knock.

That one's weird. scoot ahead a little bit and hear the samurai sounds still sounds terrible anyway these people believe that shit Les Stroud was balls deep in this. With that guy. Apparently, he had an experience. And I talked to him about his experience. It was pretty interesting. He was in, not with that guy, but he was in Alaska. And apparently, he heard some crazy noises, like some monkey sounds outside of his, in the middle of nowhere.

No one was in there. And he said he heard something run away, some bipedal sound of something running away but again even though he's an experienced woodsman and he's a guy who's you know camped out countless nights in the middle of nowhere and survives in the middle of nowhere and documents it like he's the reason why those survivor shows exist yeah because that guy literally would starve to death and try to eat like bark and whatever the fuck he could for a second. You could see his face like sinking in as he was losing weight. I mean, he really did do that. He did all sorts of different things to try to survive and then documented how he was doing it and what he would do. But he got obsessed with Bigfoot and then developed that Bigfoot show.

And unfortunately, a lot of people lost a lot of faith in him because of that. They're like, no, you're the legit survivor guy, and now you're doing this show, and this is why it's ridiculous. There was one episode of the show where they had this guy who he was with who had video of a Sasquatch, like high-definition video, and it looks so fake. it's like he's like the Sasquatch is looking at him through the woods and he's like there he is there he is it's a guy with a mask on that's how he is it yells out I'm a Sasquatch

like oh god he just yelled that out makes the samurai noise but this you know the guy who had the video is known to be like full and here he's got this guy on a show and then he you know is this real you be the judge like yeah i'm gonna say it's not real it's a guy with a fucking mask on i think i did read that that that guy was very not respected yes in that by the bigfoot community yeah you know the bigfoot community again very open-minded yeah he's into everything was the other thing like they would they would see trees that would fall over like in certain patterns and they were convinced that sasquatch was leaning these trees against each other i thought it was like yeah did it not to let you know where not to go yeah that's they had this

idea i mean it's all theory, right? Yeah, I think I've been following the wrong guy, dude. I believe all the stuff that you like is fake. I'm like, yeah. I only watched that Les Stroud one because of that other guy. I want it to be real. That's the thing. I do too.

If someone had a convincing Bigfoot encounter where they caught it on video, where I was like, holy shit, what is that? Like is that like what is that or there was something but there's nothing like I you know I've I've talked to a lot of those people when I did this show called Joe Rogan questions everything for sci-fi and me and Duncan Trussell actually went camping in the Pacific Northwest we didn't really camp we pretend to go camping and then we went to a hotel yeah and then we came back the next morning like well rough night of camping but we were out there for days

trying to look for sasquatch and talking to people that hunt for sasquatch and the one conclusion that we came to is it's a bunch of unfuckable white dudes like that's just out there just out there camping it's just but the the desire for it to be real is so strong. It would change. I watched, you know, like that Finding Bigfoot show. I used to always think, because people are like, why is it on? I'm like, I don't know, man, because it's fun to watch. And if they find him, the world is different now.

Like if they come back with Bigfoot, everything's different. Everything's different. Everything's getting different with the alien thing. The fact that they're saying that's like true, you're like, that's a lot, dude. That's a lot to take. If we get, you know, I know that they have the videos and stuff, the aliens, but if we get up straight up and start talking to one, I mean, I don't know what's going to happen. Well, here's something that came out today, Jamie.

I'm going to send you this because Sagar and Jetty from Rising on the Hill and I've been going back and forth with this and I found this today and sent it to him. It's, I'll send it to you right now, Jamie. It says, paradigm shifting UFO tech that alters space time

is operable U.S. Navy chief tech officer. So it's some story that I didn't bother looking into because I saw it when I was on my way out the door and I was like, what in the fuck is this? Cause there's been all these sightings of these things that move in some weird way. Paradigm shifting UFO tech there.

So there's these things that have been, that move in this weird way that don't shifting UFO tech. There's these things that move in this weird way that don't show any propulsion system. Due to censorship. Please join us on Telegram. I'm going to say documents obtained by the drive show the revolutionary technology that has capability

to alter space time may actually be operable according to the Naval Aviation Enterprise Chief Technology Officer, Dr. James, how do you say that name? Sheehy? What do you think? Why is it operable in quotes? What is that?

I don't know. Good question. Reflect on why is technology that has the potential to change the entire human experience for the better always used for the defense purposes and military applications? What about the betterment of humanity yeah i don't know um but it's christopher mellon who's that guy who keeps coming up with all this uh ufo tech stuff can you scroll back up please someone's just like writing i was reading through twitter it's like a story it's not

really like an article right um twitter feed of christopher mellon the former deputy assistant defense secretary for intelligence from 97 to 2002 doing so i came across an interesting post from the drive regarding documents they received via the freedom freedom of information act regarding a space-time modification weapon developed by the u.s, which apparently has already gone through experimental testing. This, in turn, led me to evidence suggesting that other revolutionary type of technology that could no doubt be used to change the world for the better, blah, blah, blah, was already operable. Yeah, I don't know.

But this is what, if you pay attention to the UFO world, do you pay attention to that shit at all? Not, like, actively. There's a guy named Bob Lazar. I do know that because you talk to him. Yeah. It was one of the weirdest conversations I've ever had because you're like, I mean, are you crazy? Are you full of shit?

Or is this real? Yeah. Because if it is real, this thing is a special effect created. A guy who is a special effect artist. Do you remember his name, Jamie, who made this thing for us? created a guy who was a special effect artist remember his name Jamie who made this thing for us this gentleman he's got a design designs by Perry designs by Perry at Instagram and he created this thing and this is like a scale model of what Bob Lazar supposedly worked on.

He was hired by the United States military to work at Area S-4, which is part of the Area 51 Site S-4. Site 4 was this place where he allegedly worked to back engineer these spaceships and the way these things moved around was exactly how this christopher mellon guy or this article rather that quoted him as describing that they use some sort of gravity space time bending technology so they didn't use a propulsion system like a rocket shoot flame out the back they bent time in front of them and just would shoot instantaneously to wherever the fuck they bent time in front of them and just would shoot instantaneously to wherever the fuck they wanted to go so you'd be like instantly be able to go instantly what's fucked is that there was an instance off of the uh coast of san diego in 2004

where a navy pilot by the name of commander david fravor who i've also had on the show experienced this thing that they call the tic-tac ufo they tracked it with radar they tracked it with um their the camera systems on the on the on the on their plane and they even have video footage of this thing it went from 80 000 feet above sea level to one in a second wow that's the amount of time that it takes radar to do the blip blip yeah blip blip so in that time it traveled 80 000 feet they have no idea how the fuck it did that it shows no propulsion heat signature they took video footage of this thing and it went from there it took off where they couldn't even follow with their eye just disappeared to the predetermined destination where they were supposed to coordinate later.

So it's like it's reading their tracking systems or reading where they were going. And the people that worked on the aircraft carrier were telling the fighter pilot, like, we've been seeing these things over, you know, we see them like every couple weeks. We have no idea what the fuck's going on. Yeah. And they just say, well, there it is you know what are we gonna do about that yeah i like to picture the like an alien in that tic-tac he's like whoa slow it down dude you're kind of crazy right now like he's having a bad day in there because he's got to be having just a day whoever's in there some kind of day maybe having a day that's it's a lot to yeah i don't know you

think it's like a lot to just tell people like if they had to be like to tell like just earth all of us humans on earth to like wrap our head around what would happen i think what do you say if that's all you know like if you are the military and all you know is that something can do these things something can move at this speed you know the new york times had a front page article about it a couple years ago. And basically they're saying, hey, you know, there are videos of things moving in a way that we don't understand that aren't exhibiting a heat signature that indicates a propulsion system. We don't know what it is.

And then there's uh the covet 19 bill that just got passed and one of the provisions in the covet 19 bill is that they have 60 60 no 180 days to release all the information they have about ufos that's all you know but i don't know if they're gonna do anything but i think they're gonna do that's funny that's in this yeah we don't have anything bill yeah going to do anything with it. I think they're going to do nothing with that. That's funny that it's in the COVID-19 bill. A lot of weird shit was in the COVID-19 bill, like foreign aid. There's a lot of foreign aid to Pakistan, aid to all these countries. It's like people just, to get it passed, they're like, okay, we'll say yes, but I want you to do a little favor for me and put this in the bill.

It just shows you how greasy politicians are. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of crazy. Yeah. Yeah. But that's allegedly what all that ufo technology is wow so if that's real and if that article is based on anything that's even remotely true that the that they're actually doing the government is actually doing experiments on these things and they have this technology that would kind of explain whatever these things are that they're seeing that instead of it being alien technology it's some super high level military tests and they figured out how to do some things that we don't understand yet the question is how did they

develop this stuff did they develop it from ufos or is the ufo thing the cover-up because they have like some super high-tech weapon and they don't want other countries to know about it. So to mock it, they'll say it's like alien technology to make it seem ridiculous. If we traveled like that, that'd be huge for road comics just to go bounce around instantly. No jet lag. Did you use that technology just to be like, where'd you go? Funny bone.

Boom. You're in Denver. Hey, Denver comedy works. I was just featuring. Boom, you're in Denver. Hey, I'm in Denver Comedy Works. I was just featuring. Boom, you're in Poughkeepsie. Look, I'm at Bananas. I like to use that much technology. Would you do that even flying for just the least amount of comics just doing dumb jokes?

Right. You're using, I mean, people died over this technology. Right. And you're like, I just told some fart jokes on stage. Well, what if they found out that some people died from it? Just like they think that some people die from vaccines, but it's a very small number in comparison to people that it's going to help. What if some people died when they did this jump to some other place?

Some people just melted. And they're like, hey, what happened to Tom? Oh, he's got that gene variant. oh yeah tom's a puddle yeah well i would i would imagine people die for like they would be like they just be like yeah yeah yeah we've never done this before dude like could be yeah i mean maybe that's a monkey they don't they use monkeys a lot they used to yeah for space travel do they just have them around well unfortunately yes they have monkeys a lot? They used to, yeah, for space travel. Do they just have them around? Well, unfortunately, yes. They have them for medical research. They have them for all sorts of shit.

Yeah, not good. It's not good. It's tough being a monkey. Tough times. Tough times. They experiment with makeup on monkeys. Yeah. Put lipstick on a monkey.

Imagine the indignity. You're in a cage. You're locked up. You just lose all your power. Yeah, yeah. You're kind of smart. Yeah. You're not like people smart,ity you're in a cage you're locked up you just lose all your power you're kind of smart you're not like people smart but you're close you got hands

you're holding on to the bars I remember I went to a zoo once I can't remember what city it was in but I remember I was with my kids and we walked by this monkey cage and this monkey was by itself in a small cage screaming

like a crazy person like a person trapped just and i remember thinking oh my god this is the saddest thing i've ever seen in my life like this poor monkey wants to be in the jungle wants to be swinging around on trees and eating fruit and having a good time with his monkey friends instead he's alone in a cage being stared at by people all day long just stared stared at and then you're like then we took a picture we got out of there all right everybody get over you still do it because you're like well i'm here what am i gonna do what am i gonna do it is too but don't they have aren't sometimes like the the i don't know but you want to believe that these zoos are, you know, it's like a lot of times it's animals that are hurt or can't, that wouldn't survive.

I mean, they tell you that. So you want to believe that, that you're not going to some crazy, you know. I don't know, man. You know, I think there's some endangered species that are kept in zoos and, you know, they can protect their numbers in a certain way in zoos. There's probably a better way to do it, thoughos there's probably a better way to do it though there's probably a better way to do it they would have they would need a lot of land pacific northwest let the gorillas go yeah yeah i think you know it's it's weird when one of the things that's weird and this is a pragmatic way of looking at it, but kind of a fucked up way of looking at it, is most species that have ever lived have gone extinct.

Yeah. If they can stop things from going extinct, what if the next step is bringing things back? Well, if they can bring things back, like, what if they just start bringing back shit? Like a bunch of things. Like a raptor. Saber-toothed tiger. Yeah, saber-toothed tiger. Just start bringing shit back.

Why not? People would be excited, for sure. But then what are we doing? bunch of things like a raptor saber-tooth tiger yeah start bringing shit back why not people would be excited for sure but then what are we doing like if we're just going to keep what i'm not saying we should let things go extinct and i'm definitely not saying we should allow human beings actions to make things go extinct and do nothing to prevent it but i am saying it is there's an inevitability of life and i don't think we want to we want to accept that because i think human beings because we have a finite lifespan we have a finite life you know we know it's going to end we we're fearful of that we're fearful of animals dying as well fearful of losing

animals we're fearful of like we can't stop all things from going extinct because things went extinct way before people were ever around. Yeah. They just don't work right in the new environment and the environment changes and evolves

and ecosystems. That's probably a good thing. T-Rex not being here is, that's a big deal. Probably. It's a lot easier to do things.

What about one of them? Just one of them on Jurassic Park? That we just leave? Well, they have one. They go, we let

them loose in america so y'all just deal with that every day like you just don't know where he's at they catch us out they they go all right we brought one back did you guys check the app before we went on vacation to see where godzilla is yeah where is he at i heard that there's a place you can drive uh from louisville to louisville kentucky to, Kentucky to Nashville when you're driving down 65 and they have a life-size Tyrannosaurus Rex on the side of the road. But I was like seeing it because you're always like, how big was it?

Like when you walk around you want to see a tree to be like, can you imagine that tree just being, it was like a giant lizard that would just eat your car and you gotta have you been a museum of national history natural history and looked at those giant skeletons yeah yeah yeah it's enormous yeah i think it's hard to imagine because you're seeing

a skeleton it's sort of this framework of what a thing is and you, you know, I kind of get it. But if they had one that they did up, like, special effects style, and made it really look like a T-Rex, like, they don't really know what a T-Rex actually looks like. They think they might have had feathers. Do you know that? No, I bet they wouldn't appreciate it, though. The T-Rex, I like that. They think that a lot of dinosaurs were, in fact, in the bird family.

You know, because a lot of dinosaurs were, in fact, in the bird family. Because a lot of birds today, they exhibit a lot of the things, a lot of characteristics that dinosaurs had. They think that a lot of... That's a lot. That's more than I've ever heard. Really? I don't know how much I've talked about dinosaurs, to be honest. But I don't know how many conversations I've been in, but that's never been sprung on me. One of my kids, my youngest daughter, is obsessed with dinosaurs.

She knows a lot about them. She knows a lot about weird shit. That's what birds are. Birds are basically dinosaurs that lived. Wow. Like chickens. Chickens are like survival. They've even found really recently some fossils that show feathers.

Because up until now, it was a theory. But then they found dinosaur fossils with fossilized feathers that indicate this dinosaur was like a bird that was covered in feathers. That's crazy. Yeah. I had no idea that any of that was true. Yeah. There's a life-size version of a raptor that's in a museum in bozeman montana and on one side it shows what it would look like if it was like a

lizard like a crocodile or something and the other side it shows it covered in feathers and it goes over this theory that they might have had feathers that they might have been i love that they have both those up there. It's like being like, we don't know for sure, but it's probably one of those two. It's pretty dope. See if you can find that. You got it?

Yeah, it's pretty dope. Because why not? Well, why wouldn't they have feathers? There it is. That's what they think it might have looked like. Okay, yeah. But on the other side, they'll show it. Does it show the other side too?

Yeah, but there's a high school there. Their team name is the Raptors, so I'm looking it up. Oh, yeah, in Montana. Yeah. Yeah, so that's it. That's the thing. Yeah. So one side of it, I think I'm right.

I think one side of it was. We've definitely looked it up before. That's why it came up so quick. Most I know is from Jurassic Park. That's it? That's all you know about dinosaurs? Yeah, they showed that movie in class, and then they go, all right, that's good.

Called it a day. There it is. How much stupid shit do you pay attention to? Do you watch stupid movies? Like, are you going to watch King Kong versus Godzilla? I can watch some of that, yeah. I'm not like, I've never been the craziest superhero fan or that kind of stuff But I can definitely

If it catches me right I'll be like I don't see what's going on with this Why not go see what's happening Were you a comic book fan when you were a kid? No Not the giant I'm a big sports fan I like sports

Stuff like that I watched golf UFC I've got into I think UFC like I like sports uh stuff like that I watched golf we were talking about that earlier uh UFC I've got into I think UFC uh I would as a regular guy that watched sports UFC does right now I think the best job of like getting me like getting the me's of the world that just I'm used to I know football baseball basketball golf like I know kind of the main ones and i think ufc is doing the greatest job in all of sports to to attract me like and i would think i'm a you know an average american just in how they've done that what they you guys talking about how good people are is big so uh

once i found out like that john j Jones I love like once in a lifetime athletes when you get like a LeBron Michael Jordan you get these things and you're like we're lucky to even

get to see a guy like this right and so and I see that John Jones is that and I hear about John Jones being that like I

like George GSP I never saw GSP I was never I saw him fight Bisping was the only fight and I know that he's

a great but ufc wasn't in my world back then back then when he was a champ yeah and so i go john jones i think conor mcgregor's probably you know in a sense of like this kind of tiger woods of just getting people excited about this sport that you're like well i love this dude this dude's crazy which then got then introduced me to Khabib. So then I see Khabib, and now I'm fascinated by Khabib because you're like, oh, him and Jon Jones are these once-in-a-lifetime kind of guys. And so I love that, so I want to watch these ones.

I want to watch because I'm like, these guys are not normal, and so I should be seeing these. And I thinkc does that i understand usman when he said like show some respect to my name i get it because in me i almost didn't i watched the fight but i almost didn't if i had something come up i might not have watched it because that's because usman's not i didn't know completely and then after i watched it and i hear y'all talk about him and you explain how good this guy really is, I'm like, oh, I'll never miss another fight of him now.

Because we don't know anything about the sport, really. So when you're telling me, hey, you're lucky to be, in a sense, but we're lucky to be watching these guys. This is not normal. Jon Jones was when he fought daniel cormier like i didn't know really core core cormier right and i don't really know him so i see john jones beat him and then i'm like okay and then dinner cormier fights uh steve next the one he beat and he destroyed him and then i go oh that's how good john jones is like i'm like because you know john

jones looks so dominant yeah and then i see daniel you're like oh daniel's how good Jon Jones is. Like, I'm like, because, you know, Jon Jones looks so dominant. Yeah. And then I see Daniel, and you're like, oh, Daniel's like one of the greatest. Yeah. And then you're like, oh, that guy's even better. Like, putting these pieces together is huge. Yeah, champions that beat champions. And when that gets explained, I think UFC's doing the best job of explaining that kind of thing the press conferences i'll watch every

dana white press conference no one talks like that dude no one i watch all these sports it's the same answers as you know how how's the how is tom brady going to retire i don't know maybe he's maybe he's not it's the same like who cares answer it's pointless to add and dana white like after the connor fight they're like you talked to Khabib he's like yeah I just called him Khabib said none of these people are on my level you're like why I've never heard a precedent tell me what the guy said right that's like the only thing you that's the answer you want to know and Dana like just tells you he'll be like I'm about to go have dinner with him you're like I don't think I should I've never heard the owner of the Cowboys tell me that.

He never told me I'm about to go talk to this guy. Dana White, he's one of those guys that has fuck you money and actually says fuck you. Yeah. It's a rare person. That shows. Yeah. And so I got my friends now, and I'm like, hey, we got to watch this. Now I know more. He fits the sport.

Fits the sport perfectly. fits the sport you know fits the sport perfectly because the sport's just a wild sport and he's a wild president yeah you know as far as someone who's like in control of a gigantic sports organization the way he talks and how much he swears no they don't i mean yeah how much like they and that but that's what makes it good where you can't have like politically correct people running a cage fighting organization yeah just like too ridiculous like that they don't make sense together it doesn't usman is actually fighting uh jorge masvidal in a full arena next month which is fucking crazy so i might have to cancel shows in may folks i might get the cooties yeah yeah this might be

the time this might be i'm gonna fill up with vitamins and god knows what audience yeah and it's gonna be a thousand people it's it's i mean and to see them they just fought but he filled in for him right well what happened was a short notice fight where um masvidal took the fight on six days notice and everyone says that uh usman dominated him which uh he definitely won Usman definitely won the fight there's no question but Masvidal had some moments in that fight particularly standing up or he caught Usman with some good shots at the very beginning right where it was like it looked like he was in trouble he definitely had his moments and when you consider the fact the

guy didn't have any time to prepare like no time, six days notice to take the fight, it would be a curious fight to see as a rematch. However, there's a lot of other people in the division that are also elite, and then there's the conversations like, are they having this because it's the most marketable fight? Are they having this because they think he deserves it after he took the fight on short notice? There's a lot of good arguments in that

way. Like, hey, a guy puts on a very good performance with six days notice. How's he going to do it six weeks or eight weeks? How's he going to do it with a real camp? I don't know how much time he's even had to prepare. I don't know if he's had six weeks. I mean, from now to the fight is what? Five weeks? How many weeks

is it from now until that that ufc card the big one in in florida so the camps like is it is it that crazy when he has to go fight when usman just has to change and go fight another guy because you're preparing for his style is that what you're preparing for like yeah hey this dude likes to punch you also need recovery time like yeah he just had a well it was a quick knockout it was a second round knockout with gilbert burns but he did have some moments in the first round we got cracked and he got dropped and then he also did go through a long training camp and when you go through long training camps there's always injuries guys

tweak their neck or they fuck their knee up or their ankle gets rolled. There's always something, and you don't know about that. Like, for instance, when Usman fought Masvidal the first time, he had a broken nose going into the fight. So his nose was broken, like, in the fight. Like, he broke it two weeks before the fight. So he had a broken nose to start with. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah.

And they don't check? They don't check. Like, if he wants to fight with. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. And they don't check? Like, do they? They don't check. Like, if he wants to fight, it's like that's his. I mean, the only way to check a broken nose is to get an x-ray. When you look at his nose, his nose looks fine. He's got a crack in it. Yeah. You know, like, how are you going to know?

You're not going to know. So after the fight, they go, hey, you got a broken nose. Like, yeah, I had that already. Yeah. Like, he had. It's like underlining conditioning. But also, you know, and he got hit a lot in that fight because Masvidal can crack. And Masvidal's a really good striker.

He's very clever. But Usman is that high level. Oh, yeah. Yeah, like it's like— He's lost once his whole career, never lost the UFC, and literally maybe has only lost one or two rounds ever in his career. I mean, you can make the argument that maybe he lost the first round of the Gilbert Burns fight, but towards the end of that first round,

he was kind of beating Burns up, and Burns was on the ground. But he did get dropped with some big punches. But then he wound up enforcing his will and pushing his will onto Gilbert. So you can make an argument that maybe Gilbert might have squeaked that round by, but maybe not. But then the second round, he smashes him. He's a monster. He's so physically strong.

His mind is so strong. That guy's knees are so fucked up, man. They're so fucked up he can't run. He has to do all kinds of different forms of cardio because his knees were so mangled. He told me that when he would walk after training, he wouldn't walk on the sidewalk. He'd have to walk on the grass because it hurt his knees to walk on the sidewalk. That's crazy. That's crazy.

But he gets in there. You don't notice it. I never even heard that. His idea is, listen, I'm just going to wear these motherfuckers out while I'm the champ, and then I'll get my knees replaced when i get old that's when you i looked up like who he would fight next because then you look you know like i don't you know it's like it's hard to sometimes even tell their weight classes because you're sometimes you're see a guy like what's this guy like 190 like 120 pounds like oh he's just jacked yeah he's on tv so i don't know because i didn't realize like uh

israel uh stylebender like he's like pretty tall like I didn't realize how big he was right and you're like oh he's a pretty big dude but like they're in that weight class but Khabib and Usman could never they could never fight like they're too far I think he said he wouldn't fight him well Khabib is 170 Usman is one or excuse me Khabib is 155 Usman's 170 Khabib could fight at 170 if he wanted to. He just wouldn't cut as much weight. He's not the same size as Usman, but he absolutely could compete at 170 if he wanted to. But he's done.

He's retiring. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's retiring. I knew that, yeah. His father died. His father got COVID and died. And he made a promise to his mother that he would stop fighting after this last fight so he beat justin gage he defended his title 29 and 0 and he's like that's

it i'm done and the ufc's been trying to talk him into fighting again but so far he would have to see a reason to come back yeah i mean he's a simple living guy i I mean, he's a complex person, but he drives a Toyota truck. Yeah. Millionaire, multimillionaire. He drives a fucking regular car, lives in the same house he's lived in forever. He's very religious, devout Muslim. So he doesn't have any need for wealth or riches, and he's beloved in his country. I mean, he's a hero.

Yeah, I would imagine. Why not go out on top? And also, why not go out with all your faculties intact, millions of dollars in the bank? That's the dream. The dream of every fighter is to go out, an undefeated champion with millions of dollars in the bank, at the top of your game, in your prime,

not when your skills are starting to deteriorate, not when you're taking too many shots, but go out on top. And that's what he's decided to do and i salute that i think it's awesome i would love to see him fight again just because i'm a fan because he's a monster but i also i love the fact that he decided not to he's so yeah he's so like i've enjoyed uh when i found out about him to really get to watch him just because it was like oh this guy i'm watching michael jordan yeah and so like i like you know then you start getting really into it and then i mean what

he with justin gaethje was kind of i was like oh just in case you looked so good against turning ferguson you know i don't know anything about fighting but i'm like ah he looks crazy this is going to be crazy and then it's just really not because yeah khabib is unreal he's unreal he's he mauls people I think women women division two that's another thing UFC is basically the only you know sport I'm really watching like we're excited for women fights like yeah big names and UFC does an amazing job at that and I always think that's pretty crazy to be like there's you just not used to that as a sports fan you know you the WNBA or something not that you don't like these sports but you

just don't tend to watch them don't get pumped about don't get pumped up and I bought uh Ronda Rousey I mean Ronda Rousey was a big kind of that well she was the one who made it yeah you know she made it big yeah and before her Gina Carano who uh you know got in trouble oh yeah oh yeah that's where she came oh that's where she came from that that whole fucking ridiculous shit yeah mandalorian it's crazy um claressa shields is uh the obviously if you do fall boxing most people fall boxing know who she is but she's the only one in that boxing world and she's a multiple time world champion she's won in multiple divisions she won the gold medal in uh the 2012 and then again in the 2016 olympics and now she's uh undefeated professional boxer and she's the elite of the elite she's going

to fight in mma now she's making her she's doing both for a while and she's going to fight in june and her first mma fight in there's an organization called the pfl and she was on here yesterday and that's one of the things that clarissa was talking about was that in boxing they don't really promote women's fights other than you know really hers is the only one. And she feels that's underpromoted. But that's why women's boxing just doesn't have the same value as women's MMA. Because women in MMA, they make great money. And there's big stars.

Big stars. Yeah. It's huge. Holly Holmes, I'd watch all her fights after that, like after the Ronda Rousey thing. Amanda Nunes is a huge star. Is she, though? Amanda Nunes, is no one can beat her? She's a destroyer. Yeah.

She's a destroyer. I mean, it's not that no one can beat her because she has lost in the past. I mean, Kat Zingano stopped her in a UFC fight, but she fucked Kat up so bad that Kat was having hormone imbalances after the fight. That's crazy. Had brain damage after the fight and had to go and have this magnetic treatment on her brain that they do to soldiers after they get blown up.

Wild shit, man. That's how hard she hits. The first round, she had Kat in all sorts of trouble, but Kat survived and went on to stop her. It was a wild fight. I'll never forget it. I'll never forget the end of the fight. Kat, after she stopped the fight, after the referee stopped the fight, she screamed. But it was from her DNA.

It was primal. It was one of the most bone-chilling screams I've ever heard a woman fight. And Kat Zingano is fierce. She's always been fierce. But to hear her scream like that was like, whoa, to this day, I'll listen to that and go, God. Just imagine where she was on the brink of defeat, taking all sorts of crazy punishment from the biggest striker

in terms of knockout power in Bantamweight history. That's Amanda Nunes. I mean, she starches women and this here play this you can hear this dude that's crazy that ain't that's not fake yeah that's from her dna you know yeah that was well it's like the in like they're in their own. Oh, my God. She wouldn't even probably remember that whole experience.

Like, you would not even know what's going on. Probably not. Yeah. It was a wild fight. Did you get into UFC or that kind of fighting? Was it around, like, where you could watch it? I know Horace Gracie. I kind of remember hearing about that when I was a kid, I guess.

I saw it. The first one I saw was in 93 or 94. I saw it after the first event had aired, and I'm pretty sure I watched the second one. I heard about it, but I didn't see it live. And then I saw the second one. I'm 99% sure I got it from a video store. Like they had it for rent at a video store.

It was UFC 2. Because I don't believe they had the rights to have UFC 1 back then. I think you could only get UFC 2 on video. And I remember watching it and watching this fairly slim Brazilian guy just strangle all these people. Yeah. And I remember thinking, holy shit, shit i gotta learn that yeah and it was what everybody always wanted from martial arts everybody always wanted the really talented small guy to be able to beat the much bigger stronger guy but the reality of striking is that

that doesn't really exist very often most of of the time, bigger, stronger people fuck up smaller, better people. That's why the weight classes are so important. Yes. Because they're at such a high level that if I hit you, it's going to hurt way worse. Yeah. Just bone structure that's just an insurmountable obstacle. It doesn't mean that a smaller person that's super talented can't beat a bigger person that's stronger and faster but not as talented. It is possible, even with strikers.

But most of the time, it's too dangerous. You'll never see a welterweight champion fight the heavyweight champion. You just won't see it even if you get like an elite like terence crawford super top of the food chain lighter weight champion he's not gonna fight deontay wilder yeah it's just too dangerous they're too big but in the ufc that's exactly what happened you saw this 175 pound guy who is not like intimidating physically i mean he looks like an athlete but he's not like big and jacked and he was arm barring these guys there were a hundred pounds more than him it was crazy and to watch that was like this

was what everybody always wanted from martial arts they wanted technique and skill to overcome all of these advantages that someone would have in size and power it was like I would ask so i'm uh started to with lewis j gomez and so lewis was a big reason to me lewis and dave with mma because they were such big fans of it so like back in new york they would always talk about it and too that was a big part of like kind of hearing about everything what's going on uh but i remember talking to bisping with lewis once i was always too, with the confidence that they can walk around with. Like, no one really knows.

The confidence that, like, we asked Bisping, he's like, you're just never scared of anybody. Like, nobody's. When you walk around. I'm not in the. You don't want to. Not that he wants to fight anybody. Right.

But you don't have. If I walk around and there's a bigger guy near me, you're just like, that guy wanted to hit me? Like, he just can. Yeah. And so Bisping, and I was like, you just don't ever feel that? He's like, no, I don't know. And he just walks around, dude.

And we're like, I mean, could you kill someone? He's like, yeah, you know. And we were like, how long? And I think he was like, 10 seconds or something like that. You're just like, geez, dude. Like, that's crazy, dude. And that's like what you love is to be like, that seconds or something like that. You're just like, geez, dude, like, that's crazy. And that's like what you love is to be like, that's, you know, when you watch those guys, you're like, yeah, what's that like?

What's it like to go to a mall and see a pack of 40 teenagers walk up to you and just be like, I mean, walk right through them, but I will destroy all of you. Like, it doesn't matter. I don't know. It's like that's, I don't know if it's like a guy feeling that you want oh for sure yeah it's like a superpower yeah like every guy wishes that he was that guy like that's why the hulk was always such a popular comic book like you're picking on this little skinny guy if you make him mad then this fucking gigantic guy comes out of his body and smashes everybody i mean that was i saw... I saw, one time I saw Tyron Woodley at Disney World when we were there. But I always thought about this.

What I do love, like his, I think he was with his family and his daughter or something. His daughter was like, I don't know, just told him like, no, was like, no. Like, you know, being a kid. Right. She's a kid, like she's five, whatever she is, I don't know, four or five years old. And she's just, it she is, I don't know, four or five years old. And she's just, I kind of says no to him. And I remember just thinking that guy can beat up every human in this park.

Yeah. And it's, but what I love shows of him as a parent. That is, I always love that is his daughter. Who's the smallest of all of us at this park is the least scared of that guy. And we are all deathly scared of you like it shows like a family that you're a good parent like she's just like

human she's a human and she looks at his like i don't care who you are that's my dad and you want to walk over and be like could you if he gets upset though he's going to hit one of us and we're all gonna we will all pay for it he would never though that guy is the friendliest guy he is he's very friendly. Well, that's why you can show us that he's a great parent. And I love it because I don't know. I always just love that dynamic. It's funny to me.

The only person not scared of him is this tiniest little girl that's like, no. Tyron's doing something. He's involved in the weed game now. He's been hanging around a lot with Be Real from Cypress Hill. He's always doing things with them. He was on Hot Boxing with Mike Tyson. That's a real – the weed game is – The weed game.

The weed game is like a real thing. My buddy Soder, Dan Soder, he'd always talk about that because he's from Colorado. And, I mean, like he'd just be like, losers. I think he had a joke about it. He's like, losers are doing – in high school are like multimillionaires now because they just waited it out. And now they have like a real company. It's true.

Yeah. Yeah. I've been offered to get into business, but I'm like, until it's federally legal, that's an attack vector. Like if you really have some multimillion dollar weed company, like, wow, is that legal? How legal is this? Yeah. Like I know there's a lot of people making money, but there's a lot of situations where they can't even deposit. Like, they have to have cash.

Like, they have cash-only businesses in some places, at least they did for a while, where, like, they were hiring special forces guys to guard cash from these dispensaries in Colorado. Colorado was one of the first states that went open. I think it was Colorado, Washington State, and a couple other ones that made it legal early on. And when they first did it, one of the big dilemmas was they couldn't get credit cards. They couldn't get banks to use credit cards with them. So no one could pay with anything other than cash. So they had these places where they're doing insane amounts of business.

They have weed tourism that was in Denver, and they'd have lines around the block of people paying cash, and then someone would come in with a ski mask on and fucking rob them. And then there was also people that were leaving the bank with bags of cash and taking it to the bank. Excuse me, leaving the dispensary with bags of cash and taking it to the bank. And they knew that there was cash in these cars so they had to have like guys with like black sedans following them with armed guards armed guards in the truck it was a very complicated sort of a situation where they were very vulnerable because they because no one wanted anything to do with them it wasn't that they didn't want anything to do with them they wanted the money like the banks took the money because it was legal in the state.

But it's not federally legal, right? So if you have a company like Citibank or a company like American Express, they're not going to let you use credit cards to buy weed. And then what if they get in trouble? Because it's a weird gray area. Because when things are federally Schedule 1. Schedule 1 is the most illegal, and that's what marijuana is, which is ridiculous because it's legal in how many states now, Jamie? A lot.

19 or some shit? That's what I wanted to say, 19 or 21 or something. And it's legal medically. I think it's legal in Texas medically, but I think you have to have something really wrong. You have to have full-on paralyzing epilepsy or something. It wasn't like in L.A. when they were—I always just heard comics where the guy just could tell a doctor, like, I have restless leg syndrome. Oh, yeah.

Headaches. Can't sleep. Anxiety. Here you go. They said no to no one. Yeah, yeah. Headaches, can't sleep, anxiety. Here you go.

Yeah. They said no to no one. Yeah. My doctor, this great doctor that I went to, and he had dreadlocks. And do you know what a volcano is? I think so. It's a vaporizer. Yes. And it's a weird one because the way a volcano works, it looks like a volcano, like a steel

version of it, like a volcano like a like a steel version of it like an industrial volcano and then on the top of that you attach this this uh nozzle that attaches to a giant plastic bag like this plastic bag most plastic bags they would vaporize with would be you know like a foot and a half two feet high This fucking dude had a five foot long bag. I walked into this place. This was when weed was really shaky. It was real weird. It was like, I'm talking like 1999, 2000.

I was going to one dispensary that was in Englewood. Englewood is, it can be sketchy. It can be a dangerous part of town. And the Englewood Wellness Center was the place i used to go to but the guy that i used to go and buy weed from got shot so the same sort of situation you had to pay with cash i think you had to pay with cash back then but either way he gets robbed and shot and i was like fuck i'm not going to that place anymore so i found this new one and i walk in, doctor's got dreadlocks, five foot tall, like enormous bag filled up with weed vapor.

I mean, just like a cloud. And he looks at me, he goes, you look sick. He goes, you need medicine. You need, he told it onto this thing and we were just laughing. Yeah. Like, what is this? This is so crazy. So we got high with this guy and he takes me back to the grow room.

And when you're super duper high and you walk into a grow room, one of the weird things is like, I mean, maybe it's just me being high. But I felt like they were intelligent. Like I'm in this room and there's all this artificial light and there's all these vibrant, healthy pot plants. Because these guys had like a super sophisticated operation it was a big ass room like as big as that opening area on the front of the studio and you walk in there and there's like hundreds and hundreds of plants and all these lights and you walk in and and it's almost they're like hello like the plants are saying hi to you they felt granted i'm out of my mind hi like this i can't go back this year in your car the whole time yeah well no we stayed there for hours i there was no way i was

driving we still oh yeah we were there for a long time it was great but it was like that then like and by the way i was not famous back then like i was i was on a television show guy probably didn't know he didn't give a fuck. They were just friendly. Like that's the thing about super high people. Like either they're real paranoid. They don't want to talk to anybody. Or they're real friendly.

And this guy was real friendly. And everybody there was real friendly. They were all just really cool. And they're like showing me how the water drips into the plants and keeps them healthy and how they have this sort of irrigation system set up. I mean, you see that back then. Yeah. You had to, because it felt so illegal.

Yeah. Back then. Yeah. Super illegal. Yeah. But not, because it was legal in the state and I did have a license. I did have a medical prescription Because I get headaches

That's so crazy I've had a bunch of surgeries It does help with pain What really helps me though is CBD Which is non-psychoactive Yeah that's what I always hear about CBD It's great if you have arthritis Or sore joints or shit like that It's great if you have like arthritis or sore joints

or shit like that it's great for it it's great for for some people it really helps with anxiety it helps them sleep and shit but but back then was there was no no one even knew what the fuck cbd was people were just getting high you know and for a lot of people like it changed their life people that were cancer patients that were going through chemotherapy that lost all their appetite, they would smoke weed, and they would have their appetite back, and then they'd be able to eat, and they'd feel better. People slept better. It doesn't work with everybody.

Some people it's just not a good drug for. It just doesn't. Do you smoke weed? No. Yeah, see, there you go. It's not for everybody. Yeah, it's not for everybody. I love it.

Yeah, I get it. go. Yeah. It's not for everybody. Yeah, it's not for everybody. I love it. Yeah. I get it. I mean, the idea of it. You know, I always think about that, like, if you had, like, my daughter. Like, would I rather her drink or smoke weed? Like, you know, because it's like alcohol is crazy. Alcohol, I mean, it can lead to being violent, to being, you know, these car wrecks. Not that I'm sure weed has that stuff too but with by the time she's she's eight so by the time let's say she's 21 i mean who knows that

we might be way more acceptable versus i'm still from the era that you feel like it's bad i think one of the problems with weed is that first of all all, no one who's growing up, no one whose mind is developing should be doing any hardcore shit. They shouldn't be taking alcohol. They shouldn't be taking marijuana. They just shouldn't be. It's not good for you. We give both that to our daughter. We're trying to let her choose now.

Well, kids are going to do it. They're going to do something. But neither one is good for you. Like if you're 16, you're getting high every day. That's not good. No. It's not good. If you're 16, you're getting to do it. They're going to do something. But neither one is good for you. Oh, yeah. If you're 16, you're getting high every day, that's not good. No. It's not good. If you're 16, you're getting drunk every day.

That's not good either. Both those things are bad. But at least with alcohol, a shot is a shot, right? You go to a store, you buy a bottle of whiskey, you take a shot of whiskey, it's what it is. With pot, you could have a cookie, you don't know what the fuck it is with pot you could have a cookie you don't know what the fuck it is yeah like you have no idea it could be 20 milligrams or it could be 250 milligrams joey diaz sits around dosing people all the time he gives them these stars of death that are 250 milligrams and you see people losing their mind like they think they're in another

dimension yeah they just have but you would feel trapped right like you just feel like i'm you know i started having claustrophobia and i imagine it feels like a lot of like that right but for joey it's awesome he doesn't give a fuck he just he can eat three or four of those and just laugh his ass off yeah it doesn't any if he does get paranoid like he gets over it what if you overdosed on weed what you can't no it's not gonna kill you yeah no I mean unless you have like a very peculiar biology maybe I shouldn't say it's not going to kill you but I have never heard of a single human being ever dying from

marijuana now does that mean they haven't died from decisions they've made when they're high we're gonna try to to fly while he jumps off a building. I'm sure they have. Yeah, yeah. Well, that makes sense to you at the level. Yeah, if you get really high and you drive off a cliff. I mean, I'm sure people have done shit when they're high. But people have done, how many things have people done when they're on Ambien?

Oh, yeah. Nobody's scrambling to make that illegal. Yeah, they give them to them on planes. Yeah, oh, yeah. And they're just walking around. Oh, people lose their marbles on that make that illegal. Yeah, they give them to them on planes. Yeah, oh, yeah. And he's just walking around. Oh, people lose their marbles on that shit, and they sleepwalk and say things they don't even know they said. Yeah.

Like Chris Pratt, he takes Ambien, and he was telling me all the wacky shit that he'll text people when he's on Ambien, and then the next day they go, Hey, man, what the fuck? What was last night about? He's like, Huh? What are you talking about? And they'll show him.

He's like, Oh, dude, I was on Ambien. I don't know what the fuck I said. Kevin James, he cooked a meal. He went downstairs. I think he went to the supermarket, bought food, cooked a meal,

and then woke up in the morning and wanted to call the police. He thought someone broke into his house and cooked. It'd be great if someone did do it, but he still thinks it's ambient some guys like dude i almost got caught one time yeah i went to kevin's house you went to kevin's house cooked a turkey turns out he is ambient and i just blamed it on that oh it's it's not good man

for some people they have this because it doesn't really give you the same sleep either like it puts you in this weird state where you don't like, it just knocks you out. You know, I would take, I would always have trouble sleeping, but a lot of it for me is like food. Like, I mean, I can like, I'll eat Sour Patch Kids and drink soda at 11 o'clock at night. And then I'm like, I'll go to the doctor. Why can't I go to sleep at night? I'm like, I'm so much trouble. And you're like, yeah, dude, you're throwing nonsense into your body.

Yeah. That's not good. Sugar at night into your body. Yeah, that's not good. Sugar at night is the worst. Yeah. That's the worst. I'm quitting drinking diet soda on the day, especially on the 18th. Really? And I drink a lot of diet soda. And I'm kind of convinced that I think it leads to me to bad decisions.

So I'll eat canned. I mean, dude, I eat. It's bad, dude. I got, like, coming coming here i just went at barbecue right when i got here and then i had a hamburger uh cooper's it was just like it was the only one a lot of them were closed some of them were closed on monday or something oh really and then yeah if you were closed there you know i couldn't really figure it out like i looked at just online so the cooper's is supposed to be i don't. It says they all got good reviews.

They all have really good reviews. Like old-time Coopers or something. So I went in there and ate. And then it's like, dude, I don't know how to eat good. I don't come from, you know, growing up in Nashville, we ate just all chain stuff. That's all I know how to wrap my head around. Chain food?

Yeah, yeah. Really? Oh, I love it. I met my wife at apple bees i don't know my whole life and all life goes to chain stuff i mean so when you go on the road do you see chain stores and you go chain restaurants every second of it dude i love it i walk through every mall in america it's the greatest time of my life i just i love them all so much what's number one at a Yeah, what's the number one chain?

Oh, number one chain I go to? That you would... Yeah, your choice. We started going to Outback, you know, so you come into a little more money, you go to Outback a little bit more. You go, no. I still love Applebee's.

I love every one of them. Buffalo Wild Wings, I like. You can watch a lot of fights there, watch big games there. There you go. Yeah, I go to... It's hard to fuck up Goodwings. McDonald's, I have a giant...

Really? I think we should show McDonald's more respect. It's the most successful restaurant in the world. Put some respect on it in there? Why don't you walk in, yeah, wear a tuxedo when you go in. Don't be... You go in there with pajamas like you're just some loser. Like, we're lucky they opened the door to us.

I'm a big fan of Filet- fishes i love them if i'm coming home from a late night comedy show and i'm hungry and i'm like fuck it i get two filet of fishes oh it's the greatest because it's easy you get them quick somehow what do you do on the road like what would you do on the road before now i know the road is so much different is like when you get into theaters you get into arenas you get stuff gets different but like when you get into theaters, you get into arenas, you get – stuff gets different. But, like, when you were doing comedy clubs, would you just go eat somewhere? Like, you just go find a real restaurant? Yeah.

Yeah. Or Waffle House. I'll do Waffle House. So, are you eating bad, though? It depends. I don't eat bad every day, but I do eat bad. Yeah. But I don't do it every day.

I try to limit the amount of times i eat bad but i do eat bad yeah see i just think food should be two things it should be nutrition and it should also be enjoyment and you got to separate those things you got to know when you're eating nonsense but you're just enjoying it like oh this is so good well you and then you feel like shit you gotta you gotta take your lumps because you eat like an ice cream sundae and a cheeseburger with fries and it feels like you got hit with a tranquilizer dart you're like oh it gets i had a pecan brownie and chocolate ice cream last night and i feel amazing though this one i do feel it as i'm 41 and you you uh it's like the second you turn 40 dude you're like this is crazy like you're you've you feel that tiredness it just affects you my body's trained right now it's like not trained but it's

like i can handle some bad food way more than most people because i'm eating it so regularly right right i mean i have a very like i get to i let myself get you get hungry where you don't know what to do and I'm starving. And so then my brain only goes to eating out. Right. Like, you know, I don't have food.

Like my wife will cook, but like, it's not like I just have like something at home. Like I'm like, I'm, you know, I just get to the point of where you're just too starving. Then you make no good decision.

Late night is always the worst for me because I'll eat when I'm not even hungry. I'm just bored. Yep. You know, like I'm writing or something or I'm watching TV i'll just go grab some potato chips and then next you know i'm half a bag in and i'm like oh what have i done i didn't even need i wasn't hungry yeah i just was forcing salty things in my mouth and then you just you get a few in there you're like oh let's keep going this is the best until. Let's keep going until we get sick.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the greatest thing ever, dude. But is diet soda like that? It's not good. Yeah, it's not good, right? Well, they say it actually, I mean, I've read a bunch of shit on it. First of all, aspartame is supposed to be not good for you. It's very sketchy.

But apparently you have to drink a lot of it for it to be dangerous. When they do these studies with aspartame and rats, apparently what they did with the rats, they dosed them up with some extraordinary amount. So when people say it's correlated with cancer and all these different things, maybe, maybe. But the problem with that is like what are the other things that are in your life that might be causing you cancer? Is it stress? What are the other things that are in your life that might be causing you cancer? Is it stress? What are the foods that you're eating with that? You wouldn't live in a power line? I drink Diet Coke under a power line.

You think that's going to be a problem? I think it's fine. Are you getting sleep? There's so many factors that lead someone to get sick. But when they do these rat studies, then they can go, well, they but then humans aren't rats so it's tricky i don't know i just don't think it's good for you but i think it leads to bad well you want i don't want to drink i don't eat pizza with water right you know it's like there's stuff like that i'm not gonna go to the movies and get popcorn and have water right like that's's no fun. No, you want to die of COVID.

And so if I get rid of... That's the way I look at it. And I am into those things. It's not like I occasionally have popcorn. I have it more... I would always say McDonald's could never throw... I'm never surprised when I go to McDonald's menu. I'm always pretty aware what they're doing.

Like when the rib sandwich, McRib comes back. Like, yeah, dude. Someone's like, do you know the Mc uh the rib sandwich mcrib comes back like yeah dude i've someone's like jill mcrib's back like yeah dude i've already had a few of them i remember the day it came back you got the email i get the i get updated i know what's happening i'm not i'm not blown away when i used to love was when i would go to a movie theater and they had real butter for the popcorn like oh yeah real butter and salt because that other that funky fake butter it's somehow or another better than no butter but not as good as butter like what is that shit i don't ever get that squirt yeah i don't ever put it on i mean it is it's it's made to just get stuff on your hands under the seat that's's all that happens, dude. You're eating the popcorn, and you just can't.

This hand's gone. What is the oil? What is it? I just Googled what it basically is. What is it? It's partially hydrogenated soybean oil. Oh, it's terrible for you. It's making you grow titties.

That stuff is going to turn you into a woman. Oh, well, if you're a woman, it'll turn you into more of a woman, maybe. That's what I always wanted to work out. I just want you to not be able to see my nipples through my shirt. That's all I've ever wanted. It's as simple as that. The man boobs. The man boobs.

The man boobs are depressing. That's a depressing thing for a guy, to have man boobs. And then some guys, when they lose weight, then they still have the man boobs. They just have deflated man boobs. Then they have to get cut because they have to trim all your fat back or trim all your skin back to where it used to be stretched out because of fat. Who's that actor? What's his name?

Ethan. He was on Your Mom's House. Yeah. Is that who he's saying? Oh, yeah. That guy lost- Lost a ton of weight. Like 200 pounds.

And he's jacked now. pounds. So I'm insane. And he's jacked now. Yeah. Like he's really healthy. The other guy who's done that is Action Bronson. Action Bronson's lost a shitload of weight. Like look at that guy now. That's crazy.

Crazy. Crazy. I mean, he's fucking ripped. But you see how his extra skin around his stomach. That was all just skin. That just never goes away. No, you have to have it operated on. Look at that picture there.

The one, yeah, right there. Look at that. That's nuts. Look, he looks like a fucking pro wrestler. He looks huge. He looks like Triple H. Yeah, exactly. He looks...

You would never recognize him if you saw him somewhere. I mean, he wouldn't recognize himself. No. I can imagine that wouldn't recognize himself. No. I can imagine that's a completely different person. Yeah, yeah. And, well, completely different life. I bet the way he feels, like, it must be amazing to go through life as this, like, giant, overweight guy, like, literally morbidly obese. Have you seen what happens to NFL linemen when they retire?

Wow. This is Joe Thomas. guy like literally morbidly obese have you seen what happens to nfl linemen when they retire like this is joe thomas he was a uh all pro his whole life and right when he quit playing he like sucked down weight instantly and well he looks great he looks looking well he looks normal i don't know about normal hold on go back go back to that picture yeah maybe he's not big and fat anymore but that guy's jacked. Show me that picture, the second picture you showed. Is that him as well? Yeah, this is him playing. He played forever. Still, that's not a normal guy.

That guy looks fucking shredded. I mean, he looks like a pro athlete. But before, he was like, this is the way for the position. He was a center, right? Offensive lineman, tackle. So that position, he's like, well, I need to be this size. I wonder what he did. Just probably cleaned his diet up. Atkins.

And started doing cardio and Atkins. I think I read it right. Is that? Really? Is that not? No, I don't know, dude. I'm like. It looks great, though.

I love it when athletes retire and they don't get obese. Because when they do get obese, it's kind of sad. Well, they're usually so young. Yeah. I mean, they're in their 30s. I remember someone saying that. Something always stuck with me. I don't live by it.

But being like, I was like, why don't more people eat healthy? And I remember him telling me, he's like, it's because they don't know how good it feels. And I remember him telling me, he's like, it's because they don't know how good it feels. And so, like, if you're eating, like, you're just used to kind of having that drag of McDonald's. I just ate McDonald's all day. And any time it starts to go away, you go, well, you're hungry again. And you go put it back in. So your whole life is just kind of like a slow down. And you just get very used to that.

That makes sense. And we have no idea. I mean, because the days that I've, you know, if I've ever been like, I'm doing no carbs or something, and you do it for two days. It's like you can feel like amazing. Like you go, God, you just have energy, you feel great, or whatever, you know, for the little bit, just because it's a shock to my system that we're

not eating just garbage like i had uh i mean like my wife like she'll go like they went to florida uh universal like now and so like she leaves like two days before i leave and it's like i mean i already bet if she's around but if she's not around it's like i mean i would have these like pre-made meals she's like just eat one of those and i was like no thank you like if she's not there yeah a major problem dude yeah no i i get it man i get it it's it's so appealing you know like you see a ring ding sitting there like i could just have that i could have that mouth pleasure right now i could just put that in my mouth right now a chocolatey goodness and that creamy white filling it would be um it's the best thing ever dude i think it's the greatest once it hits your tongue too your body like your body doesn't know what the fuck a ring ding is yeah all that sugar and this weird semi-digestible portion because it's not normal

like normal's like orange that's normal apples normal your body eats an apple it's like yeah we know what this is like you don't get some crazy rush you don't get like oh oh but if you eat like a chocolate eclair or a Krispy Kreme cream filled. Do you go to Krispy Kreme? I mean, a good bit. Dude, I go so much that I've started wearing my mask on in the car because I'm afraid that they're going to go, hey, what's up, man? And then I can recognize it as a comedian just as a customer. Just as a regular dude.

And I'll just act like I, you know. I don't really tell. It's not like I talk about my wife. I pay cash a lot. It can't be traced back to me. Like a ton of cash. How many do you get? I will do four. If I go three.

Three to four. Like that's what I. I got tired just hearing that. I felt the sugar crash just hearing you say that. I'll go golfing right after. Like I just eat that to go golf, and I'll walk 18 holes. If you're moving around, I bet that's not the bad idea. So you're saying I can do it?

It's not the worst idea. So you're saying I'm on a good diet, Joe? Matt Frazier, who is a five-time CrossFit champion, when he was here the other day, one of the things that he said is that even talking to high-level nutritionists, they would tell him, after a brutal workout, get sugar in your system. Drink a can of Coke.

Eat a Snickers bar. And it sounds ridiculous, but your body, when you really exert yourself bad, it needs that sugar. I think the problem is when you eat that sugar and then you don't do anything. If you have a couple of donuts and you go golfing for a few hours maybe not the worst thing in the world yeah you're out there walking there I'm just trying to find a window I should be doing it I'm on the donut diet

apparently your body gets accustomed to to donuts and then everything's good. Yeah. Do you hear that? You didn't hear that? I feel like I can find an article for anything. Listen, if you can find an article that says the world's flat, you can find an article that says donuts are good for you. Those are the people I need to get behind.

They need to get behind donuts. Fuggle is flat earth shit. That's nonsense. Let's do something good and get behind Krispy Kreme donuts. Fuck all this flatter shit. That's nonsense. Let's do something good and get behind Krispy Kreme donuts. Someone needs to find a way to make a keto donut that really tastes like a Krispy Kreme donut. Because most keto donuts are like, okay, pretty good.

I've had keto cookies, not bad. But you're never like, oh. There's that orgasmic thing When you have like a really good Like a Mrs. Fields cookie You know Mrs. Fields With those big ass chunks of chocolate in them And they're warm And they're a little bit mushy

So you bite into them And your body's like Keep going You just want to devour them Could Krispy Kreme be the tastiest thing? I'm a huge McDonald's I mean a huge ice's, I mean a huge ice cream

fan. I eat a lot of ice cream too. But I mean tastiest thing that you could eat. It's tough to fuck with. Right? Because maybe it's not the tastiest but it's unreal. For a Russian shit, wear a warm one?

A warm Krispy warm crispy cream oh yeah light i just realized this is original glaze is what that light means i thought it meant like i almost see what so dumb i am i would just see the light and i would go and be like maybe it's chocolate donuts this time that are hot and it's never it's always glazed and i keep thinking one day i'm gonna catch them they'll have hot chocolate donuts and then just the other day i read the sign and it says original glaze i was like it's never hot chocolate donuts dude like that's always the original those because those original glaze the difference between them being hot and not being hot is monumental chapelle that joke about it where he's like if they made it out of didn't he made

out of crack you would believe it oh did he i think so like he's like that idea that you're like it's that good of a they melt they melt you bite into and it just sort of disappears like cotton candy almost yeah just because there's that much sugar in it it is like i get it like you're amazing i've amazing i've had cotton candy pretty recently really how often hour ago huh on the way i got some under the table you don't know that there's uh what's your go-to thing though if you really want to just fuck up a diet i mean it's my regular life i mean i don't i don't know what you mean like my go-to it's uh i'm never not i'm always doing I started working out a lot and so

I've noticed like I can tell like my legs which I always joke with it feels like it's all legs that's all working out

is everyday's legs it just never stops you're like let's do something else it's like no it's just legs but I and I can tell that like

I could see my body getting a little different and then it's not changing that much. And I'm like, what has to be – because I'm working out and going, then I'll go eat McDonald's, and then I'll go do something else. And so I'm never putting in – I don't think I eat enough. I don't have enough calories. I'll eat like one meal a day sometimes.

Because people that tend to eat bad can go a long time with eating. Like you can see some really big people. It's not like they're just eating 24 hours a day. They eat at 8 o'clock like they haven't eaten in two weeks, but then that's it. Right, right, right. And so that's what they get. They wake up, and it's hard for them to wrap their head around going,

like, well, I'm not hungry. Like intermittent fasting is not that hard for a lot because you could be like i don't know i'm whatever but during that window is going to be a problem dude like i'm it's going to eat like everything and that's when everybody because i always think when they someone explains something to be healthy they always tell you to like they always be like well be careful about fruit and you're like well let's let fruit be the let's wait till that becomes the problem like that's i'm not where i'm at because someone's like how much pineapple do you have like you're like okay i got after it like i had four apples if i couldn't put it down

you're like just let me eat food but we will hear advice from the most in shape person and so they're like well you got to kind of be careful yeah that guy does yeah but that guy's trying to get shredded for a bodybuilding competition or something for me they're like, well, you got to kind of be careful. Yeah, that guy does. Yeah, but that guy's trying to get shredded for a bodybuilding competition or something. For me, they're like, let's just not go to McDonald's every day. Let's just start. You know, it's like starting attainable goals. What are you doing when you say you're working out recently? What are you doing?

I do it. This guy started working out with, he comes to our neighborhood, this Klug Fitness in Nashville, and they go to your house. They started doing that with COVID, so they come to your driveway. So a lot of my friends in my cul-de-sac, we would kind of go in on it together. Oh, that's cool. And he comes over. Yeah, and he does.

He's like, he competes in a lot of, our trainer, Matt, competes in a lot of like the, you know, the whatever is it, the lifting heavy, the big. Strongman competitions. I was, man, I thought every word but strong. I was like, you heavy, the big man. Strong man competitions? Strong man. I thought every word but strong. I was like, you know, the every man competitions. The heavy. The heavy man. You know, big muscle competitions.

Yeah, he's a big dude. Lift stuff, heavy stuff. And so we do the, you know, it's all legs are every day. But, you know, doing a lot of stuff. But he brings, like, they travel around in a van, dude. They set up. I do squats. I do bench do bench press is all the weights oh wow you do everything and they do it in your driveway and and so your neighbors come over and you all hang out together and we all hang out together and we do it uh how many times do you covid test anybody

ever when you guys do that outside outside but we're in my cul-de-sac so no one's gone so we all know where everybody's at. So everybody's just hanging out. And that's why they kind of started doing it because of this. Our trainer actually got COVID at one point and told us, like, hey, I got COVID. And neither one of us got it. Because we're never – we're outside. We're not on each other. Right, right.

You're like – that was the whole reason of doing it. Well, especially when you're doing it outside during the day, there's real evidence that it dies instantly in sunlight yeah and then also an under uv light yeah yeah this is not that's not a fear during the day that's one of the things that was most infuriating about la where they were trying to shut down beaches and people like why what the fuck are you doing like why are you shutting down beaches there's no evidence that it spreads this way there's early evidence that it died in sunlight yeah yeah i mean they yeah i don't know they think everybody's a lot of people think everybody's dumb but yeah everybody thinks well i'm not i'm not dumb but you're dumb

and i think people like kind of operate on that mindset to go i'm not doing it for us obviously but it's you don't understand the the idiots that we got running around this country they don't know how to hey because that's why those guys would get caught being out like all those governors would get caught doing something right because they go well i know how not to get it but these buffoons that live behind me don't know and so we got to shut the beach down because they would start licking each other and stuff like that. Because that's what they do. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah.

It's weird. You know, that's what that's the argument for censoring conspiracy videos on YouTube. The argument is that, like, if you read something or you watch a video and it's clearly nonsense about, like, dinosaurs being fake, you're not going to get you're not going to go, oh, my God, I can't believe I've been lied to all this nonsense about dinosaurs being fake, you're not going to go, oh my God, I can't believe I've been lied to all this time about dinosaurs. You're going to go, what is this craziness? Were you around when Art Bell was on the air? Was it the AM station? Yes.

Yes. I remember getting picked up by a driver once, and he had that on. Art Bell used to have a time traveler line yeah okay well you could call in if you were a time traveler like nobody fucking really believed the guy was a time traveler but it was fun yeah it was fun i mean i'm sure there's a bunch of schizophrenics that listened that thought it was true yeah but what are we are we going to do? We're going to nerf the world? Yeah. You're going to censor all these fake time travelers? Yeah, you want those around.

I want those people. Because those make you understand the right more. Because you go, yeah, that's the crazy. And then you go, yeah, that doesn't make sense. Yeah, you do want those people around. Those are, yeah. I like someone, like the dinosaur's not real. I just pictured someone even on YouTube.

Dear YouTube. Well, that was the question. I was lied to about, apparently dinosaurs are real. And I feel betrayed by this video that had 100 views. A lot of those videos have millions of views. They have millions. But that was the argument for getting QAnon videos off the internet. It was that people were buying into it.

They really believed it. But if you watch any of those videos, you're like, wait a minute. Trump is still the president? He's still the president, and Biden's about to go to jail, and they're about to drop the hammer down, and the military's going to swoop in and take over. What? What?

Like a crazy, yeah. Something insane. Yeah, it's like they'reop in and take over. What? What? Like a crazy, yeah. Something insane. Yeah, it's like they're playing multi-level chess. They always have a, I feel like they always have a reason, too. They're like, all right, well, it can't happen today. It's raining outside, so obviously. There's always some reason that it doesn't happen. You're just like, it could happen.

There's a great thread that I found that somebody sent me to where these guys, after Trump lost and then after the whole Capitol Hill insurrection, all that crazy shit happened, this guy was on one of those forums realizing that he's been a moron and that he's been had. It's like, I can't believe I've wasted all this time believing this bullshit. And people were also chiming in like yeah I'm kind of fucking disappointed myself too yeah most ridiculous theories that there was some that it was all really some sort of you know child trafficking yeah regime that they were trying to bring down and that's why you know Trump was pretending to lose and then

they were going to swoop in and arrest all these child sex traffickers. I knew people that got really deep into it. I was trying to get them just to Alex Jones. I told a lot of people I was like, let's just do Alex. Do not go below

Alex. Stop it. They're so far down. Who were these people that you knew? You just knew some friends, like, you know, guys that want to believe

that stuff and they want it to be true and they want it, you know. That's what's weird. And so, it's, you know,

you got to, it's a mix of, you know, I don't know, people, but they, there's, both sides can believe

a lot of crazy stuff. They can get tricked into, you tricked into everything that goes on. No doubt. Yeah. It's not exclusive to one party or the other. People can believe some wacky shit. If you want to believe it, it's pretty easy to believe it, to wrap your head around it.

100%. Yeah. I thought you could. My dad told me when I was a kid that I can't sleep with my socks on because my feet can't breathe. I still believe that my whole life, dude. And I don't wear socks to bed. That's how little of a thing can get in your head that I just was like, well, I can't breathe. Did you ever talk to him about it later?

Hey, man. Yeah. Hey. I asked him again. Are you saying you're still saying my feet can't breathe? And my daddy goes yeah and he stuck with it so I go alright

alright like you know it'd be funny if he's like I never fucking said that I don't he would never remember saying it

I don't know why he said it he might have said it because I'm a kid that's trying like that day he's like I don't want to go to bed I'm going to leave my socks on

and he makes something up you know I actually read something that said that if you have socks on when you sleep you sleep better you sleep better if your feet are warmer i mean that's why that's why i'm having trouble sleeping not the sour patch kids it's i mean what's wrong with socks why is everybody scared of socks i'm a big socks fan i wear a lot of uh i like them i like uggs i don't

walk around barefoot at home. I love shoes. Do you wear Uggs? Slippers. Do you wear socks in those Uggs? That's why I want to know. I love things that you don't have to put socks on. If you wear Uggs with no socks, how long before they stink? Pretty quick.

You might get beat up before that, but it's the guys that attack. I don't know what the time frame is. Stinky feet patrol. No, they'd be the loser patrol that you're wearing uh those because it's like those that's the i think that's the point of it dude we had this guy on uh kill tony the other night it was fucking hilarious there was this kid this young kid who's a comedian and he was talking about how he's really into feet and uh he he had some girl come on stage and she took her shoe out she turned out to be a comedian too she took her shoe off let him smell her feet and he was like sniffing it and getting real excited about it and they were both getting turned on by it was just so how she liked it oh yeah at least she said she liked it yeah you know

maybe she was joking around with it yeah but there's dudes that are into stinky feet. They like it. Yeah, that's crazy. He was saying it helps them. That's what he said. He's like, the quickest way for me to bust if I smell some stinky feet. And we were like, what? Yeah.

But he was like so casual about it. Talking in front of this large group of people that's going on the internet to a larger group of people talking about how he's uh really in a stinky feet i feel like you hear all people are willing to say more stuff yeah now than they ever were you know especially now with the internet everybody kind of has a voice right but he can you can become famous at any point right if something goes viral i don't know but like it's crazy i've always got that it's crazy i always think with celebrities like think about all the celebrities before you didn't know what they they felt like make-believe people tom hanks tom cruise like you don't know what those guys are about you would never see them outside of

a movie right and now you're seeing like like, Tom Hanks making a video, and you're like, that's just a guy. Like, Tom Hanks, you know, watched, I remember something, he watched Storage Hunters, that show, and you're like, it just kind of. He was watching it? Like, talking while he was watching it? He talked about it.

Like, is that, yeah. I just heard him talk about it a long time ago, just in an interview or something. And he just said he liked that show, Storage Wars or something. One of those shows like that. But it was just like, I don't know. You're like, I feel like I never would have known that. These people become...

The idea of Tom Cruise. I've always liked the idea. I don't know if he knows how much money he is. That guy's been famous for 30 years. At least. At least. 30 years. At least. At least. At least. At least.

Right, 30 years ago was what? He was famous in 80... Yeah. Born on the 4th of July or before that? He's definitely famous before that because he was starring in that. Oh, yeah, Outsiders. Outsiders. What year was Outsiders?

Let's guess. Oh. 83utsiders. What year was Outsiders? Let's guess. Oh. 83? 84. For some reason, 84 is popping in my head. 84 is a good number. Outsiders. He was 18 in a bit part in 1981.

He was in Taps in 83. Oh, that's right, with Timothy Hutton. 83 was Outsiders? Yeah. Wow. And that's right, with Timothy Hutton. 83 was Outsiders? Yeah. Wow. And that's when you did a movie. It was huge. Fuck, yeah.

Yeah. There's movies now you're like, I've never heard of that movie. And then All the Right Moves and Risky Business all in the same year. Oh, wow. Risky Business. Yeah, that was the big one. That made Ray Bans famous. Right?

Yeah. He wore Ray Bans and slid around with socks on yeah socks so that guy wouldn't so that was when I was I was a fucking that was 15 so he got famous when I was 15

and now he's still famous as fuck now and still doing action movies he broke his ankle jumping from one building to another I've another scene this movie oh it's terrible legend yeah it's really interesting oh it's Ridley Scott yeah it's like a demon guy I mean it's not terrible terrible it's just not good look how pretty he is got her so handsome yeah there's some demon I forget what is it about that's 85 yeah that's the year I graduated high school the Lord of Darkness oh that's him that's the year I graduated high school. The Lord of Darkness. Oh, that's him. That's the Lord.

That's crazy. So here he is back then, grown-ass man back then. Now, today, all these years later, doing Mission Impossible, jumping from one building to another and breaking his fucking ankle. Did you see that video? I didn't see the video of him breaking it. Bro, he does stunts. I just went through all the Mission Impossibles.

All of them in one sitting? Well, just over. Over COVID? Over, I mean, in like a week. I of them in one sitting? Well, just over. Over COVID? Over, I mean, in like a week. I would watch it. I started doing that at night is just to kind of pick like these old kind of shoot them up, mindless kind of fun action movies. And so I went through every Mission Impossible.

I don't follow the stories as like, you know, connect with this. I saw the weirdest movie yesterday. It's an Ethan Hawke movie about time travel. Hold on a second. I saved a picture because it was so strange. I was like, what the fuck is this? But really original. That's it.

Really original movie. Like the end of it. I was like, whoa, like I don't want to give anything away. Just the fact that it's a time travel movie i don't want to give anything away just the fact that it's a time travel movie but it's a mind fucking a half and not like any movie i've ever seen before like as the movie's going on you're like where is this going i did a joke about time travel i wrote as a show it didn't go anywhere but it was like the idea because i did like i

don't think if i uh if i went back in time I don't think I could prove I'm from the future. I don't think there's anything I could tell them that's not. That they would be like, oh, this guy's from the future. Because you don't know enough? They're like, who's the president now? I don't know. They're like, you go back to like 1905, they're like, well, who's going to be the next president?

I don't know, dude. 1905? I would be like, name some people. Let me Google it. Oh, shit. All that's gone. You guys don't even have 5G. What else could I?

Yeah. I would have to hear some names. And there's always a window in presidents where you're like, a few of them that you don't ever talk about. You don't really know who they are. They were never famous. If I went back in that time, I'd be like, I've never heard of that guy. How far back could you go and name presidents from come starting right now okay JFK Trump we go to Trump okay yeah Obama Clinton no Bush Bush Clinton Bush Reagan Reagan Jimmy Carter Gerald Gerald Ford. Ford.

Yeah. Nixon. Nixon. Lyndon Johnson. Kennedy. Eisenhower? I'm probably done at Kennedy. Who's before Kennedy?

I think it's Eisenhower because I think that was the famous speech about the military industrial complex. Telling people to beware of the military industrial complex. Eisenhower, right? Okay, before Eisenhower. Truman? Yes. Is this like the 40s now, 50s? 50s.

We're in the 50s. Yeah. Truman? 45 to 53 was Truman, so pre-45. World War II. I'm fucked from then. Pretty famous one. Abraham Lincoln.

That's what I would go, like, 19... Eisenhower? No. No, where you said that? Other way. FDR. FDR. Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

And then it gets squirrely. Teddy Roosevelt is in the 1800s, right? Yeah, he was 1901. What was his relationship to Franklin Delano Roosevelt? Father? Hold on. I am your father. I'm from Old Hickory, which is named after Andrew Jackson.

Oh. When was he? You know, we have his own home where I live, and I've never been to it. Because I switched schools when the elementary schools would go to that to go to it fifth cousin and i switched schools so i just have never been to his own and i live five minutes from i remember when i lived in boston there was a place where you go that i think was paul revere's house i think i've been to that and i'm always like how much he's famous should have a bigger house yeah yeah this guy was pretty rough time during this wasn't balling at all no nothing I think I've been to that. And I'm always like, he's famous. He should have a bigger house. Yeah, yeah.

This guy was a pretty rough time during this. He wasn't balling at all. No, nothing. You know. They don't go show you his house afterwards. He goes, well, then I moved into a gated community. There it is. Like, you see Gwyneth Paltrow's house.

It's fucking giant. Look at Paul Revere's house. You would be disappointed if you got that house. I would be so sad if I went over, like, Mel Gibson's house and that was his house. I'd be so sad if I went over Mel Gibson's house and that was his house. I'd be like, this is it, Mel? And Mel Gibson is the Paul Revere of our time. And I think now it's like a museum, right? You can go visit it?

Yeah, I think I've been to it. When Boston. Yeah, there it is. Apparently, all that whole the British are coming, the British are coming, not really true. Yeah. Yeah, apparently there was another guy. There was another guy that was warning everybody. Apparently, all that whole the British are coming, the British are coming, not really true. Apparently, there was another guy. There was another guy that was warning everybody. And then Paul Revere was like, oh, yeah, I told everybody.

Isn't that like the Tesla guy? Oh, there was two founders of Tesla before Elon Musk? No, no, no, not that. Or who it's named after. Nikola Tesla. Yes. Isn't it something about inventing light or something? Like, wasn't he? What did he do, dude?

He invented light. Yeah, before him, we were living in dark matter. But isn't there some beef between him and someone else about? Edison. Edison. Yes. Well, he invented ACDC, alternating current. Not the band. What? He wasn't involved. At all? No. No. Yes. Well, he invented ACDC, Alternating Current.

Not the band. He wasn't involved. At all? No. No. I'd like to see your sources on that. He invented Alternating Current. And Thomas Edison initially was super skeptical, or was a propagandist, I should say, against Alternating Current. And one of the things that he did was he electrocuted an elephant to show everybody. See if you can find that. Is that it?

Elon just tweeted this. They did invent it, dude. Elon just tweeted this? Yeah, not today, but like the other day. Oh, wow. Yeah. Him and Edison. See, the thing was, Edison was not a stupid man.

He was a brilliant man. But Nikola Tesla was an alien. I mean, he was responsible for so many fucking inventions like so many he wanted to transmit electricity through the air and westinghouse was like what what are you talking about like that was his idea like to use these towers and transmit electricity there's a movie made a couple years ago called the current war it's a very loosely based off of the truth type of movie, but it's the idea of what was going on between them fighting back and forth. And Tesla worked for Thomas Edison for a little while.

Well, Tesla, like a lot of brilliant men, was not great at business. He was just great at inventing things. And when he died, they raided his house and got all his papers and all his shit. And who knows how much intellectual property they took. Because the guy had ideas that never came to fruition that were just genius. I mean, he was a weird guy, though. Like, he was in love with a pigeon. Like, he had a love affair with a pigeon that he wrote about.

Like, he was in love with a pigeon. I just think you can get too smart and then when you're out there you're so far out there that you're just whatever yeah you're in your own world and like you just get you're just kind of gone dude and you're gone yeah you're too gone too gone you can get too gone yeah yeah well i think you only have so much room in your brain and even a super powerful brain, like a person that's extraordinarily intelligent. There's only so much room. I really doubt you're going to have like the smartest person ever who's also really good

at telling jokes. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They don't go.

You can also go on stage high and talk shit Yeah And say a lot of really funny things Yeah You know Yeah It's just not usually the case Like if you hung out With Albert Einstein You're not like

How was it? You're like Pretty good actually Yeah Like it's gonna be like No, he's the worst Right He's the worst

Like Cause it's like He doesn't know how to interact Or something Like they're But if he had notes And he was gonna go up On a show

And then Joey Diaz Was on after him You'd watch Joey Diaz. Yeah, all day. You wouldn't watch Einstein. Yeah. But these guys, they're operating in this realm. You know, when you think about, like, we're talking about LeBron James or Michael Jordan, like, Khabib Nurmagomedov, super athletes, just the rarest of the rare humans.

rarest of the rare humans well there's people like that with brains just the rarest of the rare minds who can figure things out that most human beings are that you would give them a thousand lifetimes with that same brain they have no shot at ever figuring out any of that shit i don't care how much education they have don't lie like people will lie well everyone with the proper education can achieve amazing heights now you're born different no yeah born different some people have big brains some people have little brains some people have minds that work really well and some people are born deaf and some people are born with weak hands yeah you know like everybody's weird is that weak hands are real people just can't grab things good they're born with that have tiny hands they're but they're yeah if you're born with that. They have tiny hands. Yeah, if you're born with small, small hands.

It's just like glass falls on you. You want to pick things up. If you talk to someone with weak hands and you come over here, the cups are laying sideways. Can you help me? He's like, I'm sorry, I have no. They have to use their elbows. The servers are just a nightmare when he walks in.

They're like, oh, God. Not this guy. Yeah, give him a plastic spoon. He can't hold a metal one. He's got weak hands. It's just human beings vary so much. I mean, it's one of the things that makes us interesting. But when you get to a guy like a Nikola Tesla or even an Elon Musk,

they're almost so smart that they're going to be eccentric. There's no way they're going to be normal, like a normal person and that smart. They have to be eccentric there's no way they're going to be normal like a normal person and that smart yeah they have to be eccentric the greatness idea is so uh there's a thing on netflix called drug lords and it's like i like like cartel like cartel stuff is kind of crazy to me it's uh it's crazy that it's happening now you know it's like 2021 and you just feel and it still can be like the 80s and you feel like when you read stories oh Oh, yeah. Like El Chapo is in prison. He's in Denver. The prison.

They have a lot of people in that prison too. But they, so there's a girl in Drug Lords and she grew up in, I think, Compton or something. I mean, unbelievable athlete, like growing up, right? In high school, could compete in high school like it could have could compete in the olympics and it doesn't go that path and then becomes a drug lord and then becomes like a queen drug lord that like ran and all this crazy stuff and it makes me think like that's a person that you're like yeah she's going to be really good at whatever she does she could have

been in the olympics she could have went down the road that she went down. I think she actually gives speeches now and talks about how not to go down this road. But she became dominant in selling drugs. And it was just like, this is a super successful person. Their energy will go. Wherever it goes, they're going to be great at it. That's just what they have, good or bad. Yeah, it is crazy when you pay attention

to what's going on in Mexico that it's like you could drive there. Oh, it's wild, dude. We're in Texas. It's not that far of a drive. I remember hearing a long time ago. Look at that. Mexico set to legalize marijuana,

becoming the world's largest market. Woo! They're probably doing that just to battle the cartels. But the cartels are growing weed to send to America anyway. Maybe the cartels want it to be legal there, so it takes heat off of them growing it there, and then it's just a matter of getting it over to America.

Well, how rich those guys were, those cartels, like Pablo Escobar and Chapo. I mean, they're billions and billions of dollars. It's unbelievable. We have this guy. We've had him on several times. His name's Ed Calderon. I follow him on Instagram because of, yeah.

Ed Manifesto. And he always sends me shit about what's going on in Mexico. And to this day, it's wild. There's like insurrections in towns. They're taking over towns. They have these wars between rival cartels. They're going back and forth. And it's fucking wild, man.

And it's right there. How many cartels are there now? I don't know. I have no idea. Yeah. But it's fucking wild man and it's right there how many cartels are there now i don't know i have no idea yeah but it's um you know it's crazy because the amount of power and influence they have you know what happened with el chapo's son they arrested him and then the fucking cartel surrounded the town and made him release i saw the video yeah they just like let him go they're like okay 2000 and you're like yeah what is this video from the 80s? You're like, no, it's two days ago.

Last week. Last week. And you're like, what? Dude. Like that, yeah, because they all surround it. They have more power than all the government can do nothing. No. There's so much influence.

Can it ever end? Or like, does it ever, like, it's like. It did in Colombia. That's what's interesting. Like Colombia, where Escobar was. Now Colombia is fairly safe. They uh they've cleaned up columbia quite a bit i don't know how they did it i don't know what they did i don't know what the success formula is and whether or not that formula in columbia is applicable to mexico because the thing about columbia is it's

not quite as close to america as mexico is the thing about me Mexico and America, there's a guy named John Norris, and he wrote a book called The Hidden War, and he was a, he was working as a game warden for California, and as he was working for a game warden, you know, he's a guy who likes outdoor activities like hunting and fishing and stuff, and he thought that's what he would do.

Like, you know, hey, you have three trout, you're the only person to have two, that kind of shit. Turns out, as he was on the job, they started finding, and this is at the beginning of it, these illegal grow operations in California in the national forests. So they'd find like trout rivers and trout streams that the water was all missing because it had been diverted to these illegal grow ops

that were in the middle of the woods on public land. And what they would do is because when they made marijuana legal in California, they made it legal in the state. One of the things they did was they said that if you have it and you grow it, even if you do it without a license, it's a misdemeanor. So because of that, they started growing 80% of all the illegal marijuana that's distributed through the United States in states where it is illegal was grown in California by the cartels in these like crazy grow ops that had just existed on these ranches. Like I know a dude who works at a ranch in Texas works at to hone ranch. And they just found they were wandering around. They saw these white pipes.

Like, what is this? And they found this giant illegal grow-op in the middle of the fucking ranch. Some, these cartel dudes hiked in with all these hoes and all this different shit, all this equipment that they need. They just hiked in on foot.

Many, many miles. With like giant backpacks stuffed with shit. They hoofed it to these places and set up these grow ops they started growing marijuana is that still active does he think it's like when you come up on it are you like dude i don't even want to they had to call the cops because you can get killed yeah for sure well this was one of the things that john norris talked about in his book was that they started bringing in they had they started bringing in attack dogs because you know these guys would shoot at them.

They became a tactical unit. So he went from being a guy that's going to check fishing licenses to being a guy that literally has to walk around in a bulletproof vest and he's got these fucking Belgian Malinois, these meat missiles, that they'll let them go and these dogs will chase after people and attack them and they're getting shot at. Wild shit. Because they realized that there's a massive market for this stuff,

and so they would grow it in these areas where very few people would go to. So they'd just go deep, deep, deep in the forest, like where those fucking Sasquatch noises were coming from, and that's what they would set up. Maybe that's where they are. Maybe they're trying to scare people away. They're trying to scare people away. Yeah.

So that was a cartel, though. But, I mean, when you go back to the early days of the cartel we're not talking like the the immense power that they've amassed over the last couple of decades this is a fairly recent thing in history yeah uh randomly off but off that there's nothing to do that but i always think that with the stand-up comedy like stand-up comedy i know that is like court gesture like there's this uh you know but you look at like cosby i mean he's still alive right now and that guy was doing it at that point yeah when he was like kind of nude like stand-up comedy still as what we think of it as today is not that old no no it's real recent and

the stand-up comedy that we do was really started by lenny bruce so it was started in like the 1950s and 60s yeah it's crazy i mean back then there wasn't even comedy clubs he would he would host shows where they would have like someone would be like a dancer would go out and perform and then a band would perform and have all these different kind of like variety acts and the comic would be the guy who would perform and have all these different kind of like variety acts and the comic would be the guy who would tell jokes in between these performances yeah it's fucking and then he goes on to start doing these performances where he becomes this like social commentator and pointing out things instead of just jokes he's pointing out stuff

about life yeah no one's doing it nobody was doing no one's doing it at that time which is crazy he's the door opener really lenny bruce they were going to cat skills at the time but they weren't doing like those guys were doing jokes yeah they were like you know two jews walking to a bar they had jokes yeah you know and he became the first guy and then there was mort saul and then of course george carlin and Richard Pryor took it to a whole new level he was the he was the guy that really revolutionized it and made it the most funny because if you go back and watch Lenny Bruce as brilliant and as important as that guy is in stand-up his comedy is from a different era like that humans thought about things differently then

they were so closed off to ideas. And, like, any little risque thing would be so funny. Did you ever see Marvelous Mrs. Maisel? No, I haven't watched it yet. It's good. It's real good. Especially the first season and then into the second season. I think the third season it gets a little, it got a little tired for me.

But maybe it was just me. Maybe I was bored with it. But Lenny Bruce is in it. And they have this guy who keeps getting arrested. And they have him say the things that Lenny Bruce was saying when he got arrested. And it's crazy. It's a normal set that anybody would have at the improv. A totally normal set.

I'm probably clean now. Yes! It wouldn't even be that risque. They would arrest the shit out of him but he had um he had some bits that hold up like he had one back when um homosexuality was illegal and he goes dig it's illegal to be a homosexual but what happens when they catch you they put you in jail with a bunch of men who want to have sex with you. Which is still a solid joke. But if you try to listen to Lenny Bruce live at Carnegie Hall or some of his performances that have been recorded,

I've listened to them. They're hard to get through. You kind of have to look at them as a historical piece instead of trying to listen to it in the context of 2021 with the internet and people can talk about anything like comedy is in a different place now much different did you ever meet bill hicks did you know i was in his presence yeah wouldn't say i met him yeah you know i never sat down and talked to them to him but i was at nick's comedy Stop in Boston and the Comedy Connection in Boston when he was performing,

when he was right off of the Rodney Dangerfield special and he was coming into headline. I saw him bomb. Oh, yeah. I saw him clear the room. But me and Greg Fitzsimmons and a couple other comedians with the back fucking howling, laughing,

and maybe a small percentage of the audience remained, but he cleared the fucking room. Yeah. And he was doing this one bit. In the middle of the bit, he looked up, and he goes, yeah, this generally clears the room. When people are getting up in fucking droves, it didn't seem to bother him. It was weird.

Well, even being able to see that probably helped. You know, to be like, well, he doesn't care. He had shocking confidence. Yeah. Shocking composure and confidence in it he changed the way uh people thought about doing stand-up because they thought stand-up wasn't just what's the funniest shit you can do it was also like really interesting ideas that would change the way people perceive things that's what he was doing i mean like that bit he

had young man on drugs you know it's always the same story young man on drug young man on acid thinks he could fly jumps off of a building What a loss he goes what a dick. Yeah, because he thought he could fly. Why didn't take off from the ground first? Yeah, this whole bit about you know young man on acid realizes that life is merely energy condensed to a slow Rhythmic vibration and we are all the imagination of ourselves now here's ted with the weather like like it was great stuff yeah that it was different than regular stand-up he introduced psychedelic concepts he introduced like a lot of noam chomsky's work about like the real history of interventionist foreign policy and why we're in these foreign countries and he

did it through jokes like he would make joke like joke about iraq like iraq has dangerous weapons terrifying weapons well how do you know well we check the receipts yeah because he had this whole bit about the original desert storm war that was one of the more interesting bits ever about war because it was like flavored by his understanding of how these things get started in the first place which he really never saw that's crazy yeah he was a different guy man I got to see him I saw him alive I think three times maybe four maybe four times because maybe like I saw him two nights in a row a couple times did i i always think boston probably massachusetts i always think that's the number one place that

produces comedians and there's even comics that like that you're there greg fitzsimmons yeah yeah so maren maren louis louis burr patrice patrice yep uh bobby Bobby Kelly, my buddy Joe List from Boston. I know I'm missing. Jay Leno. Yeah, Jay Leno. And then the guys who are the Boston guys like Lenny Clark, Steve Sweeney, Stephen Wright. Yeah. It was a great place.

Tony V. It was a place where they had an unbelievable amount of work. Where there was a lot of comics, but there was so much work. Like there was one area called Warrington Street, and that's where Nick's Comedy Stop is. Yeah. Where you would go, Nick's Comedy Stop was on one street. You would go a little bit down the block, and you had the comedy connection. You go upstairs from that, you had the comedy club at the Charles Playhouse.

Across the street, you had Duck Soup. And then down here, you had Dick Daugherty's Comedy Vault. So you had one, two, three, four, five places that within a five-minute walk. Yeah. It was crazy. It's crazy. Well, that's how New York was when I first moved there, is like seeing the village head, Boston Comedy Club, the Cellar.

We had the Village Lantern. It was like around the other corner. And then they, then they built some other clubs there, but then you'd have New York, New York comedy club, the stand, stand up the stand.

Now, uh, comic strip danger fields, which I think closed danger fields. I did. I hear your clothes. I was so sad. I used to do a lot of shows there,

man. Cause danger fields would give you more time. You got paid a little bit more, and you got food. They would give you free food. So they had great cheeseburgers. Their cheeseburgers were fucking delicious. You could do 20 minutes, which is a big deal. I was at Dangerfields once, and I think I had a 9 o'clock spot or something like that.

And I got there like 8.45, and the comics were all sitting at the bar. The show was supposed to start at 8, and everyone was sitting at the bar. I'm like, what's going on? They're like, we don't have a crowd yet. I go, there's no crowd? They're like, no, there's no crowd. And then there's this guy, Bobby, who used to work the doors, this fucking tank of a man. He was like a power lifter who would make his own weights.

tank of a man he was like a power lifter who would uh make his own weights he would fill like uh buckets with cement and he would like put handles on them and lift weights he's like a fucking gorilla the guy is scottish and he was always make fun of your act too oh you tricked him with that bag of shite act and so uh these people walk in this couple walks in while i'm sitting at the bar with these guys i'm like no crowd there's no crowd at all these two people walk in welcome to danger fields come on in have a seat they have a seat and then immediately the light comes on by themselves these two people sitting in the audience and then the mc goes out and then the first guy goes out and the second guy go out and then i went out and these people sat through the whole show two people they never i mean maybe another person showed up maybe two other people showed up i don't remember but i remember being like stunned like these people are being held hostage they can't

even leave uh not to do better i did a show for one guy like and i asked him to leave on set i go let's just we don't need to do this and he was like no it's fine like and i'm like it's not you know and he was but like you would do that in New York. I think that's what helped you in New York was A, the amount of sets you're doing. It's like dog years. Yeah. You know, you're going up, you know, I mean, once you got into clubs, you'd be going up like 15 times a weekend. For sure.

Like a ton. Yeah. And, but you would get people in. Hey, we got a great comedy show. We got a great comedy show. Come in, blah. And then once they sit down, if you felt they were about to leave, it's like someone's got to go up to hold them.

So you've got to go up, and that person's got to be like, hey. And they do a show, and you're trying to just get more people in. It's a trick. You're doing comedy in front of people that don't want to be there at all. Every room you go in, people don't want to be there. They don't know yet they don't want to be there, but you're just watching them about to figure it out and so you're trying to get as many jokes as you can in before they go yeah this is weird dude like why am i here tiny little crowds are weird

but they teach you what's bullshit in your act yeah when you start doing jokes for tiny little crowds like you realize like how much of your act is filled with nonsense you know like yeah like how much of it is like kind of filler or how much of the the bit is unnecessary because those unnecessary parts stand out like a sore thumb when there's only 20 people in the audience whereas if there's 200 people you can kind of pull it off yeah you kind of get away with like fat in your just generally in a room you just the noise alone in a room with 200 people can make something kind of flow. Yeah. It gets real when it's four people.

We used to do shows. I remember if it was eight, it was like, I'm going to tape tonight. Eight was huge. You're like, I better get this down, dude. I still think to this day that it's like you need it's like if you're an athlete you gotta cross train you gotta run every now and then sometimes you have to lift weights i think for a comic it's great to do a big crowd but it's also great to do almost no one yeah i think it's good i think it teaches you how much of your act is bullshit do you have trouble with uh because

i always heard seinfeld would say he wished he could go back to where he'd perform in front of no one. You know when you perform in a crowd that doesn't know you at all? Yeah. Like when you get a murder. Do you know when you go in and you're like, they don't really know who you are. They're like, is this guy good or not? And you get a murder. Like there's not much better than that.

Right. You can hear them laughing and you're like, dude, I'm not even too what's good yet. And you just got them. You earned it. You earned it. And that was the feeling you got when you were, that built so much confidence because you're like, these people don't know me. Yeah.

At all. It's true. Do you ever miss, you know, it's like now every room you're going to go in, they're going to, you know, you're not going to be to really pop up and be like, I don't know. I never even. I think you just gotta be happy. Yeah.

You know, there's no sense in wanting something that you're not going to get. Well, it's a new thing you got to learn. Now they have expectations.

Yeah. So you got to be good enough for their expectations. For sure. Yeah. And they paid money to see you and they may be a little skeptical.

Yeah. It was fucking Nate Bargatze. Come on. This guy stinks, dude. I let him know I do what do you dye your beard bro yeah

your hair is white and your fucking beard is dark this guy's let's get out of here watch him leave eating donuts and shit not even

he's this fat idiot eating all these Krispy Kreme dude they can't one time at Caroline's they would do you know they did like a Wednesday night

or something like comic to watch and you get a headline and no one showed up. And they had to have 20 people and we didn't have 20. So they canceled the show to me and the audience at the same time at the bar. So if there's less than 20, they won't do a show? At that time at Caroline's because it was such a big room that it wasn't worth it.

So we had like 12. For the like employers? Yeah, just for whatever. Yeah, because Caroline's was a little different. Not as much as Spot. They would do a normal weekend where they would have headliners, features. But I remember standing with the crowd.

Obviously, no one knew. I was nobody. But then I just remember standing with the crowd and they canceled it. They go, no show tonight, folks. They told me and the audience, and we all walked up together. I do look romantically

back on road gigs that were terrible i do look back on those moments where i just thought like what in the fuck am i doing with my life and now i laugh you know i do i do miss those i did there's something not i'm not even miss them but i'm glad i went through it you know there's something about it like if you're one of those guys that is like a YouTube star and then you become famous doing YouTube and then you first time you do stand up people already know who you are man you're kind of fucked yeah I always thought I would always say I think you make it at 20 or 40 I don't think anybody makes it in the middle like so it's either you come out of the gate and you get it immediately or you have to

wait till you're 40 and like and so it's and it's like if you could choose it obviously we're all trying to make it at 20 that's the dream so we all start this going because there's the guys that you're like you never know who's going to be in the audience you never know so you think that and then next thing you know you're 28 you're you're 33, and you're doing better, but you're not what you thought you were. But if you waited out, all the people that were 40, you realize that there's a lot of people that were 40 that became some of the best comedians. Maren, I remember seeing Maren in New York,

and people kind of knew him because of the radio show that he was on. But then you see it really pop, and then these people connect. seen marin in new york and people kind of knew him because of the radio show that he was on but then you see it like really pop and then these people connect burr was a big one because i got to see burr kind of go up to where like people didn't know who he was and then it was like everybody knew who he was and he started selling out you know it's like it's a pretty interesting and i don't know i mean you i think you want to be it's better to wait if you if you had a choice you have no one has a choice in this but like the people that have to be are forced to wait tend to be better comics if you work on it yeah if you you if you develop I mean it really is

about that one of the things that happens to some people is they take detours and they do other things like television shows yeah and I've done that and that does it can hamper your stand-up it most certainly can hamper it because you're so you're so concerned with your television show and you're working on the television show all the time and it's not that it's a bad thing to complain about it's great to have a television show but that takes away time for your stand-up yeah when I was doing Fear Factor I used to think about that sometimes like man I could be doing stand-up right now, and instead I'm watching people eat animal dicks,

and this is not helping my act other than being able to make fun of Fear Factor. There you go, five seconds. That's all in your hand. But one thing it did do is it made me appreciate, like, okay, now I know. Okay, now I've been on a sitcom. Now I've been a host of a game show. And these are both great jobs to get, but I know that stand-up's better. Now I know.

Did you do spots during those times? I did. Yeah, I did a lot of spots at the store. The news radio thing was an interesting thing because when I did that, I really slacked off. That was long days, especially in the early days of news radio, when we were trying to make it work right, because sitcoms are complicated. They're trying to figure out what it is and where the characters fit in.

We had 12-hour days regularly. It was a lot of work. Were you writing on it too? No, I wasn't writing on it. But they did let you write. If you had a new way to handle a scene... Paul Sims, the guy who created it, was brilliant. And one of the things he would do was,

Dave Foley in particular wrote a lot of shit for a lot of us. He rewrote a lot of scenes, rewrote a lot of entries, and all kinds of different things that happened on the set. But you were always working, and I was tired. So I'd go do a set, but I didn't write at all. And the problem was i got to the point where my act was really flat like i felt flat and then i had one night where i bombed hard in front of a couple friends of mine one of them was a writer and the other one was one of

the producers i just ate shit and then i realized like oh my god like i am falling apart like why me either i'm gonna stop doing stand-up which wasn't an option or I'm gonna get to work yeah cuz I I knew that I had slacked off I knew I hadn't put any work into it I knew I would go on stage without even thinking about my act until the moment I got on stage yeah I was doing no preparation I was just lazy because I had another job yeah well it's I've seen that balance of having to when you do that. And two, when you have the other job, your energy, in your head,

you're thinking so much in that world. We're two different things. Like I've written shows, and you're like, when you write a show, it's just much different than writing stand-up. And so you kind of think in a show world. So then you don't come up with stuff really that would fit on stage. For sure. And so your brain just kind of shifts over to this you know so it's such an interesting thing to have to balance out were you able to did you have were you like on the would

you go on the road like news radio did it like help with tickets and stuff like that did it like it helped a little um i did pretty good you know It wasn't I wasn't famous You know I was like One of eight people On a sitcom That wasn't doing well Yeah

You know Like nobody was Watching that show It was very rare That I got recognized Anywhere Very rare Like occasionally

Someone would go Hey you're that Fucking guy From that show It wasn't like Anybody knew my name So if they would Come to see me

It was You know I had been doing Stand up for ten years I was reasonably funny Yeah guy from that show it wasn't like anybody knew my name so if they would come to see me it was uh you know i had been doing stand-up for 10 years i was reasonably funny yeah but then i did my first warner brothers thing in 1999 uh did a an album but then when i got on fear factor was more of the same shit it was like i was so busy that for those years on fear factor i didn't really tour that much and one of the reasons why I started touring was Dice Clay. I met him at the comedy store, and I was always seeing him there. And one day he goes, you know, you should go to do the fucking road. He goes, you don't need these jerk-offs, all these fucking people.

Whether or not they hire you, don't hire you, you can make good money. You're a funny guy. Go do the fucking road. And I was like, yeah, I should do the road. I'm like here i can't even believe i'm talking to dice clay yeah you know when i was 19 years old i remember me and my girlfriend at the time were listening to his his stand-up in a cassette in my car giggling like little kids and then here i am talking to him and he's giving me advice at the comedy store and he knows who you are yeah yeah it's great and he thinks i'm funny so i'm like holy shit all right i'll go on the road so i started going on the road and uh i would do like you know weekends here weekends

there but after fear factor then i got really dedicated because i had been doing it a lot in town i'd doing a lot of shows at the store regularly and i'd actually put together new material and i did well but my best work was all after fear factor was done because i then i was much more appreciative of it and dedicated to focus on it and then it's it's and get out of the road i think the road is a is gigantic i've i think i write more from the road than i did when i was in new york yeah because i think a you got to learn how to do these longer sets too doing an hour and that's what happens with sometimes in new york i know a lot of new york comics it can be very easy to get stuck there where you end up doing these spots and

it's a good place to be but you're doing 15 minutes or 10 minutes and like when i first would go out on the road and start headlining i mean i would i would be tired at 40 minutes like you just are tired because i've never you know i wasn't used to talking that long right and keeping an audience attention that long. And it's a whole different thing. The way you set everything up is just, it's so different. And that's what's fun now to go when you get to go to a theater or something

and you walk out, and it's crazy. I try to never take it for granted. You just try to remind yourself, almost when you're there too, you feel like they're there for someone else, which is always a very weird thing. You're like, who's here tonight?

Because it's just so weird. In your own head, you're like, dude, I stink, dude. When you hear your name, are you still like, what? Who? Are they really clapping for me? Excited. Yes.

They got babysitters, man. It becomes more... It's a show. I always look at it as a show business. It feels like show business. You're going. There's union workers. There's a light guy. There's all this. They're doing a show. These people got babysitters.

It's like them going to Nutcracker. They're coming to you. it's weird it's it's i think that's a sign of a good artist though when you have that imposter syndrome i think that's a sign of someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously i think i would be worried if you didn't think that way yeah who else are they coming to see you like no but i mean if you if like, of course they're here for me. Of course. I'm the fucking man. And you walked out like, to this day.

You do better with your back in a corner. And so you should always, I can always tell, I think, when I feel like where I feel now. If you feel like your comedy is, you know, like trying to write a new act, you're like, dude, I stink. Dude, like this is, I just, I don't, I did it. I've done all I can do. I don't have anything else funny anymore. You know, you should to write a new act, you're like, dude, I stink, dude. Like, this is, I just, I don't, I did it. I've done all I can do. I don't have anything else funny anymore.

You know, you should always have that feeling because you feel your back's against the wall. And you're like, I got to find something. I got to figure something out. This special's about to come out. These people are going to come see me. And they're all asking, should I watch it? Should I not watch it?

Am I going to make, how much stupid stuff do you have? You know, and they kind of know that now. A hundred percent. They used to not ever really, I think, you know, like, Zia Seinfeld did his whole, he was able to tour with that for 20 years. I know. It's crazy. And then he did two specials where he did old material on it.

One of them was I'm Telling You for the Last Time. Yeah. I'm like, what? And he did it. And they paid him millions for those specials. Which is hilarious. I might tell you one more time in 20 years. That's what that was. I watched that in a movie theater.

No, a comedian. Comedian was a big reason I moved to New York. Well, one of the things that changed is podcasts where comedians started having conversations like this, where people who are fans of comedy, now they get how we do it, and they get the process. So now when they come to see you, if you're doing like a Tuesday night at Zany's, they know, oh, Nate's working out some shit. You know, they know you're up there fucking around. If you have some notes, they don't get, oh, you don't even remember your stuff.

They know, like, oh, he just wrote some new shit. Like, he wants to try it out. Like, it's different. It's a different thing. Like, they understand the process. And they also understand that if they see you and you have this new bit about something that just happened today. And then they see you again six months from now they like to see where that bit is gone and they get to see the evolution of it and all the new tags that you've added to it and all the new places you've taken the the concept of it do you have stuff from the podcast occasionally

there's an idea that'll pop into my head from the podcast and i have to remember to write it down there might be a bit there somewhere yeah but it's usually like i'm just kind of fleshing it out but burr is the most interesting to me because what bill does is just rant i mean i've been on his podcast but for the most part and he's had guests occasionally yeah and his wife is occasionally on his podcast but for the most part what it it is is Bill going, what the fuck? And just ranting for a fucking hour and a half, two hours, whatever he does, just ranting about all kinds of different things. And it's always entertaining. But what's interesting is there's so many different concepts

that come out of these two a week, he does these hour plus long rants. And it's a brilliant way to write. He's always got new ideas to write and new ideas to talk about. Well, talking and being funny, that's the thing that I miss the most about New York is the thing that you kind of lose is the busier you get. You get a family, you're touring, you're kind of alone. And with your family versus back then when you're going out every night with each other and you've got to be funnier with each other than everybody else right that's other

comedians like that is like why that's why you're the you guys are so good yeah because you're sitting there at the table and everybody's there bobby kelly just yeah you know talking shit going crazy you know like ben bailey ben bailey i used to hear. I remember hearing Ben Bailey, Greer Barnes. I think were the two. I would hear them murder the hardest. You would hear the audience downstairs, and it was just something else, dude. Like, it was just, they would murder so hard. We were at New York.

It was the Improv still, but now it's Broadway Comedy Club. But the name was still The Improv. Which Improv? 48th, 49 still The Improv. Which Improv? 48th, 49th. Is that the old Improv? No, it's not. This was the one. It's now Broadway Comedy Club in the exact same building.

Okay. When did it switch over? When was it The Improv? 2005. It was The Improv before. When I got there, it was called The Improv. He got sued, I think, because Al Martin owned it. Oh, so he didn't really have the improv no no he's just putting it up there

that's hilarious and uh what the fuck is he doing well i don't remember the whole backstory but i remember it being yeah he was like and i think they were gonna sue him and i remember them saying they're gonna change the name and then they changed it to broadway company um that's not a bad name and then no it was good. But I remember being upstairs, because we'd be upstairs running this late show. And then, I don't know if you've ever been in that club, but you walk straight back and there's a great room. It sits probably 100 people.

And the downstairs was the picnic table room. It goes deep. But I remember you used to hear Ben Bailey and Greer Barnes, dude. I met Greer Barnes in like the early 90ss he was killing it back then he's been around forever yeah murders dude yeah there's always going to be those guys you know they've just been around for a long time tony woods yeah yeah yeah tony wood's been around a long time he's been killing it forever you know how i heard that i thought was the boss of bob marley bob marley's but he would murder right oh my god especially in maine yeah he's

one of the rare guys that like he's a national headliner he could tour everywhere but in maine yeah he does arenas yeah i'm not joking he does he's a superstar he has so much main humor like he would do shows in maine where he would do like five shows a night yeah like start at like noon yeah i'm not joking that's unreal i just do shows all day long yeah bobby kelly would always tell me that like he was like dude he goes no one murdered like him dude he goes you you would just hear him murder he's a very funny guy but also a super sweetheart of a guy like a really nice guy yeah i've never met him but uh i first met him he was doing a guest set on a show i was doing in maine in the middle of

fucking nowhere i forget where we were and you know it was a local kid and you know he was talking about you know getting into my color been doing comedy he was like really just starting out we were all just kind of just getting our feet wet on the road i met him out there and you know and then he went everywhere else like he was out in la for a bit and you know traveled around and you know did the road and all that but became a fucking enigma like like there's nobody like him in terms of like in one state he he's so famous. So famous. I mean, he's a national headliner everywhere. But in one state, he's 100 times more famous. Yeah.

It's a problem. He can't go out. Why would he? Yeah, why would he? Why would he? He'd keep cranking out main jokes. Yeah. It's a, it reminds, just this is not to compare him to,

because it's like he's a regular comic. But I remember, I remember thinking sometimes you would see comics, they'd have one thing that they do, like their hair is cut a certain way, and it fits their act. Or I have to wear this shirt because I make fun of this shirt every time. But there was a comic in Nashville. It was an open mic a long time ago, and he had a ponytail, and he'd always do these five minutes about his ponytail.

That's all he did, every open mic. One day he shows up, his ponytail's gone.'re like what are you gonna do you know and he and he was like offended dude he's like he's like i got other stuff dude and we're like all right i'm you know we're so new we're like okay i used to have a ponytail dude he starts he goes up into his new stuff and starts bombing so hard and he goes goes, so I used to have a ponytail. And then he just does his ponytail material. That's hilarious. And I just remember that moment learning, like, yeah, you don't want to do that. You don't want to get caught in a trap.

You don't want to get caught that you can't change the way you look because I used to have a ponytail. Bobcat Goldthwait went through that because he used to have that whole thing. He would go on stage like that with that crazy noises he would make. And then he just said, fuck that. I'm not doing that anymore. And he would go on the road and they'd be like, hey, do the Bobcat thing. He'd be like, no, fuck you.

I'm not doing it. It took years for people to accept the fact that he didn't make those crazy police academy noises anymore i know burr used to have trouble with just where they would when you know when the uh philadelphia thing came out the roast the roast he every crowd would be like roast us they wanted to do that he'd have to be like no like burr always did really good at it like he was just i would see him go no and i was like would you not do old jokes like you know because you have people yell out yeah i do this clothes with this yeah and uh and i'm like would you ever do that and then he goes no you just don't you don't give it to him i learned that me and him went to daytona 500 and talladega like could just you'd go to these sport you know he would always just go to these sport

events so we like we go see that which is unbelievable to go watch with NASCAR. It's just very fun. It's crazy. These cars are going 200 miles an hour. They're an inch from each other. And it's just wild. And to be there, just how loud it is, it's just fun. So we go, and his special just came out,

and he would do a show beforehand. And this is just, I remember we do the show, and his special just came out like i mean honestly it was like the day before and then he had a whole new hour i was like how do you have a new hour already and he's in like i learned that he's like i just he's almost got an hour of just kind of jokes sitting around you know like you just collect i mean i'm sure you do you just end up stuff that doesn't make specials that you can kind of go fall back on so then when you and as until you build your new but this hour was like i was like you should take a special that hour dude like that hour

is unbelievable it's a lot more like fun story like you know some just stories that you could tell just old kind of fun stories that he just doesn't do well you know what he said once to me is a really interesting point he said uh i remember when i was a kid i went to see bands and uh if a band would come into town and half-ass it they just wouldn't care wouldn't try i remember i felt so fucking ripped off and he goes uh and you know i remember thinking i'll never do this to my fans i'll never never fuck them over and not give them my best effort yeah yeah that's like mickey mann or joe dimaggio one of them joe dimaggio principal yeah someone out there is someone who hasn't seen joe dimaggio play and i don't want to let him down yeah yeah yeah it's a great way of looking at it and with bill like again with bill's show

his his show is so interesting because it's so different than anybody else's podcast there's a few other guys that are doing it that way now where they rant about things i think theo vaughn does it kind of similar but it gives you like so much stuff to think and talk about and it works those rant muscles you know where you could just get your brain kind of going down a hallway that like you're and you kind of configure some other some other stuff out and kind of grab stuff and like yeah it's great yeah so when is your special coming out uh march 18th is netflix netflix are you happy with the the audience with masks on and everything uh it kind of marks uh it marks i didn't want it to be i don't want it to like feel like a COVID special.

So you don't want like someone to like not watch it. Like in a year, it's just, they take it off Netflix. Like for something, they throw it away. You're like, y'all do that? They're like, yeah, we did for you. We did. So I was trying to make sure it didn't feel like that. I open with stuff about COVID.

And so I, you know, cause I was like, you have to, you can't, I don't want to be, we're shooting a special outside, the audience has masks, so I can't not address it, and so I have a couple jokes that I do, like, you know, five, eight minutes, something about COVID, up top, very just down the middle kind of COVID, I'm not a, I don't like, I'm not a big preacher of, I don't care if you vote or not vote, like, I could care less,, you know, you just kind of go like, I'm just making dumb jokes. Like we talked about earlier, like being a comic that you're like, I don't know. What does it matter?

Yeah. And so I feel pretty good about it. I wish I would have had my normal run up to this material of actual indoor shows, and I would have felt better. But overall, I think it's like, you know, we had helicopters fly over. We left it in. Oh, wow. Because it's like we just kind of riff had helicopters fly over. We left it in. Oh, wow. Because it's like we just kind of riffed about it.

And then I found out later it was a police chase was going on. Oh, wow. So that's why they were. Because I was like, how are they not? Like, what is going on? Like, one of the jokes I make about it, I was like, why does a helicopter? Like, one would come from here and one comes over here. I'm like, why doesn't they talk to each other and go, hey, I'm already over here, dude.

Don't worry about it. because they really keep coming i'm like why do you why like that's the main thing a helicopter does is stay in the place like hover and hover and i would just hear him go and then a different one come you're like just stay why don't you stay over there man police changes are so strange because they show them on tv and it's so compelling because you know the guy's going to get caught. You're like, when is it going to happen? It's the greatest. And then finally the tire blows out, and you see the guy's driving on sparks.

And you're watching it all from one of them news helicopters, right? So they're watching it all from the top. News helicopters are weird too, man, right? I mean, they're kind of in the way. They're involved in this weird chase. Yeah, because I don't know if they have to go at a higher... I wonder how they're kind of in the way. They're involved in this weird chase. Yeah, because, I mean, I don't know if they have to go at a higher... I wonder how they do that. Yeah, they have to go at a higher level or something.

It must be something like that. L.A. had police chases. All the time. All the time. All the time. We never really had them in Nashville. So it was very special if one popped up. Very special.

Yeah. I mean, it was like a new movie dropping and you're like yeah you're just just glued to the TV the big thing was always wondering when the guy was if the guy was gonna get caught was it gonna be a shootout was a guy gonna die I remember one of them well I don't know if it was it was a car chase or what but there was a guy that was on a he was on a bridge with a shotgun and blew his brains out on television and they they didn't that's crazy no if they should pull away or not and they're filming it they didn't know what was going to happen then boom you see this guy blow his brains out on tv that's the eerie pennsylvania the documentary on netflix

where they in uh eerie pennsylvania there's a comedy club there, Junior's Comedy Club. And you have to be clean to work that club. But the guy that had the bomb attached to his... Oh, that's right. The bomb attached to his neck. Did they ever figure that out? Did they ever figure out who put that bomb on him? It was that the people that were with him made him do it. Like, I don't know if he was...

I think, you know... It blew his brains out, right? Yeah. It went off. A neck bomb. A neck bomb. The pizza bomber. know. It blew his brains out, right? Yeah. It went off. A neck bomb. A neck bomb. The pizza bomb or something. What is that what they call them or something?

Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. They just send him out there in the world. Yeah. Yeah, just and then it ends up killing him. What the fuck, man? Yeah, those guys.

Those guys did it. Look at the people in that fucking picture. Look at these sketchy fucking people. I know. You're not surprised by any of them. If you just saw the pictures of them, you might be able to guess what they did before you know. So he was involved in it? He was a part of it?

I don't know if I remember. I don't know if he was involved in it. Almost like kind of the make and the murder, like the kid. Like you don't know. You're like, maybe he was there dude but he doesn't really it's he didn't know what he was doing or he didn't i don't know if he even did it maybe he was just there like i don't know but it's like you know he's definitely the person that you're like he's not you feel bad the worst for i mean that guy dot so you know

well you know you have children and you know that when you see someone who's gone so far down the wrong road that they're wearing a neck bomb, sitting there where the cops are surrounding them. That was someone's child. That was someone's little baby, and now all of a sudden they're in a fucking shootout with the cops. Or they're in a high-speed chase, and their tire blows out, and they're being followed by a news helicopter. Your biggest fear to hear that, you're like, how were their parents? You're like, parents were lovely. a high-speed chase and their tire blows out and they're being followed by a news helicopter your biggest fear would to hear that you're like how are their parents you're like parents were lovely like his parents were like they lived in like they live in a great neighborhood that would make him you sadly but you do want to hear like how was his family you're like he's never he was raised

in a tree and you're like all right all right we're fine and like we're we're good that that is a scary thing right if you're like a good parent but your kid just has a blown fuse yeah you have no idea well they always say that was school like uh i remember seeing a uh jeffrey dahmer's dad they interviewed his dad and they're like is there any signs like he used to kill animals and stuff like that and they're like you know there's always signs afterwards like you're no one believes you can never imagine that your kid is going to be the most famous serial killer on earth. Like you just couldn't wrap your head around that. And his dad is talking to his dad. They're like, they're like, he's like, yeah, you still like kill animals and stuff.

But like, it was like the 50s. He's like, I thought kids just did that. Like he just didn't. You know, I don't know if he knew. Right. That he was going to get to because you can't imagine. Yeah. And that was the

thing with jeffrey dahmer too he's like one of the first guys that ate people yeah it's a lot imagine your son is like one of the first serial killers that was eating his victims he fucked them and he ate them yeah at least at least he's kind of like using everything right yeah it's very green it's like honey. It's like he was ahead of his time. You're like, wow. All right. It's like- He's an organic cereal killer.

He would keep them in like barrels, like sealed barrels in his house. Imagine that's your boy. That's your little baby boy. You'll throw and catch them out in the yard. All right, Jeff. Yeah. Time to get ready to go to school. Come, Jeff. First day of school. Yeah. Time to get ready to go to school. Come, Jeff.

First day of school with Jeff. Like, wow. He bit somebody. Did he? Killed a squirrel today during recess. Yeah, they got kids, you know. Kids in the car. Kids with kids.

You have no idea. It's crazy. You have a little picture. Yeah. I don't know if they have a family would have just, would you ever even have pictures of them? That's a lot to deal with that's like the Iceman

that guy he had a family he had a wife and children to have no idea I mean I guess you gotta I think he was abusive to his wife I'm sure she would be surprised to the extent

but it wasn't probably like she's like yeah he's crazy like right you know yeah that guy scared the fuck out of me because the way he would be so calm about the way he murdered people he'd be like and he was abuse like his father abused the fuck out of him and that turned him into that kind of a monster and if you abuse a kid that much when they're young and you make them angry and mean and vicious when they're that young and then they grow up to do something like that yeah a pit bull is like a dog like it's a it's the longest thing you're just training it to be a problem yeah yeah well dude i gotta get the fuck out of here um let's wrap this bitch up. Your special April.

No, March. March. Excuse me. March 18th. Oh. It's Thursday. This Thursday. Oh.

Thursday. Okay. So as of the day this podcast comes out, it'll be tomorrow. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. All right, brother. Yeah, man.

Thanks, man. Well, my pleasure. Let's do it again. I would love it, dude. Let's do it again sometime. I would love it. Yeah. Nashville's a hop, skip, and a jump away from here.

Come on down. We'll get you there. Your face is on the wall. I know. I got to come down to. Let's do it again sometime. I would love it. Yeah, Nashville's a hop, skip, and a jump away from here. Come on down. We'll get you down. Your face is on the wall. I know. I got to come down to Zany's. A dump truck ran through my face. Did it run through your face? Did you see the picture of the dump truck? I did.

It only went through my face. Did it? Yeah. Really? That was your face? Just my face. They fixed it pretty quick. They did really good.

That's pretty fucking impressive. They sold out show that weekend, so they got it going. Really? They put like wall up, you know, sold out of them, whatever. The stints have sold out now, but yeah, they put like a, like, you know, dry, like something to make it real quick. Are you happier? Oh, you and John Witherspoon. Got a little of John's cheek.

And then just. Are you happy with the new painting or do you like the old painting better? No, no, I'm happy with the new one. I actually had him change the picture. He grabbed the, because the old picture that he had and I had him change the picture. Dude, the news was down there every day. What happened with the guy who drove the truck?

He was going to a Port-A-John to the bathroom and he walks out and doesn't put a neutral on it. Oh, it just rolled. It just rolled. And it's a big one. March 18th.

So as of the day this podcast comes out, it'll be out tomorrow. So thank you, Nate. Thank you, buddy. Appreciate it, bro. Bye, Nate. Thank you, buddy. Appreciate it. Bye everybody.