The Joe Rogan Experience - #1641 - Matty Matheson

Episode Date: April 28, 2021

Matty Matheson is a chef and author. He's the host of the YouTube series "Just A Dash" and co-host of the "Powerful Truth Angels" podcast.

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night! All day! We good? Yeah. The first thing I say is it's a buttered up, buttered asshole. For anybody else, it would be a real issue.

It would be. For you, it's on brand. I'm on brand. Yeah, you're's on brand. I'm on brand. Yeah, you're always on brand. I am a brand. Dude, speaking of on brand, you fucked this podcast up because you stepped in here with some Franklin's brisket. My God, sir.

Oh. You made everybody, you put everybody into a sedated state. Franklin's brisket, by the way, may I say that was my first time eating it, and the fucking hype is real. The hype is real. It's a beautiful thing. Aaron, beautiful person, beautiful brisket, by the way, may I say that was my first time eating it, and the fucking hype is real. The hype is real. It's a beautiful thing. Aaron, beautiful person, beautiful brisket. The brisket's real.

You're welcome. I'm trying to slow you down. Slow me down. I'm trying to slow you down a little bit, bring you down to my level. I'm a slow guy. I like to move. I'm like a sea turtle. You've got a lot of energy, though, dude.

I've got a lot of energy packed up in here. I watch your show. I'm like a sugar packet. I'm a fan of your program. I enjoy what you do. Cheers. Cheers. Hey. Cheers I watch your show. I'm like a sugar packet. I'm a fan of your program. I enjoy what you do. Cheers. Hey. Cheers.

To your health. To yours. That's hot. A little hot. That's fucking hot. That is a boiling pot of fucking coffee. Got me. Coffee, boys.

Okay. So the best brisket I've ever had up until today is Terry Black's. Yeah. And Franklin's is just as good. It is not better. It is not better. It is amazing. I don't think there's better.

I think we were talking about this. Better isn't always best. There's a level of barbecue that you're just like, holy fucking shit. Yeah. And there's quite a few places like that here in Austin. There's a lot of holy shits. There's a lot of holy shits. Franklin's is holy shit. Franklin is holy shit Holy Franklin makes you want to like shit your pants rub your feet and juicy juicy

crispy the barky The rendered fat within the molecules and I only had two pieces, but I'm like You're sleepy. I don't you we gotta bring you back. You gotta drink some of your I'm like, brr. Brr. You're sleepy. Don't. We got to bring you back. You got to drink some of your hot fucking coffee piss. Black Rifle. That's a fucking shout out. Yeah. Shout out. That's a shout out.

I just want to ask you a quick question. This is an easy question. Okay, Matty. Have you ever listened to my podcast? No. I have a podcast called Powerful Truth Angels. No. Okay?

I have a podcast called Powerful Truth Angels. The name's amazing. It's incredible. Do you have a t-shirt? I made it. This is our first one we've ever made. I sharpied it. Because I was like, I'm going on like the biggest, this is like the, what is it, the Oprah of podcasts? Bro-pra. The Bro-pra. The Bro-pra. So I was just like, I need to wear a shirt because I have a podcast with my co-host Two-Tone. I just wanted to quickly... I know this is a big podcast. It's doing well. It's doing pretty good. It's doing well. I just wanted to take this chance to just... Shout out your own show. Shout out my own show because I just thought that this is horrible.

I won't talk about it again. Do I want a picture of you with angel wings and maybe some sort of a weapon? Yeah. Like a crossbow, baza grenade launcher grenade launcher flame laser eyes and maybe some of them the old-school runners goggles runner goggles you know those what the fuck's is that guy's name Larry and ties the Bosworth Bosworth remember he used to have those goggles from back in the day Terminator goggles the Terminator little. The Terminator?

Oh, like just like the little Oakley guys. Yeah, like... Windstripes. Tactical. Tactical. Like Roka Tactical. Yeah. If you were...

If I was a tactical person shooting guns in the mountain range... Those are the kind of glasses you... And I would have those to protect me because anywhere I looked, I would be protected from the sun. Always a perfect pitch and temperature of color. Maybe like a yellow tent. Those? No, no, no, no.

No, no, no. Is he the guy in Cold Steel? No. Or what was his movie? He was in like a biker movie, wasn't he? He was a famous football player who blew his shoulder out. Look at that guy. And then he became a movie star for like one movie.

The boss. What a handsome bastard though, huh? Oh my God. Look at that chin. I wish my dick was as nice as that chin. Those right there. Those goggles. Dice Clay. Okay. Dice Clay has some of those too. Yeah. Look at that chin. I wish my dick was as nice as that chin. Those right there. Those goggles. Dice Clay.

Okay. Dice Clay has some of those, too. Yeah, the dice, man. But those kind of goggles. Like you with those kind of goggles and a grenade launcher. Look at the flat top. A flat top's great. Did you ever have a flat top?

I feel like you were a flat top guy. Maybe. I had a crew cut. Crew cut. I had a crew cut. I never got it flat, though. No. Never truly flat.

No. It takes a lot to go all the way flat. Yeah, it's a weird look, the flat top. I feel like black guys can pull it off really well. Chris Rock had a nice flat top back in the day. Great guy. Kid and Play. Remember, he had the real tall one.

Play had the big one. That's the biggest. That's the one, I feel. Yeah. That is the one. Super high top. Oh, the super high tops. It's so nice.

But I'm glad you acknowledge Powerful Truth Angels. one, I feel. That is the one. Super high top. The super high tops. It's so nice. But the, you know, I'm glad you acknowledge Powerful Truth Angels. Are you a graffiti guy? Are you into graffiti? I enjoy it if it's consensual. Yes. I think there's a problem with graffiti. It's like, I have amazing art that I'm putting on your fucking building. Yes. And you're like, hey, dick. Don't fucking spray shit on my

house or my building or my alleyway. It's an asshole move. It's an asshole move But I agree they're super talented artists. Yes, so my partner Alex on the pocket He's a he's a he's an iconic graffiti writer like Oh G Venice Yeah, like Oh G dude from Venice and and that's all I want to say graffiti is You know problematic because you're destroying property, but it is a beautiful art form. Yeah, if you have an abandoned building and someone gives you the green light, fuck yeah. Go do it.

Yeah, no, I think there's a lot of really dope graffiti artists. They make amazing stuff. There are. There are. Wasn't there an issue where it wasn't really graffiti, it was more of a mural? Someone had painted a mural and then someone bought the building. I think it was in Brooklyn. Really? And they just like fucked this and they painted it over and like

everybody shit their pants. They're like what the fuck? That was art. Yeah, it was art. That was art. You just took down the Picasso of the graffiti. But that's the question, right? If you buy a building and the building is covered with beautiful art, are you obligated to keep it looking exactly the same? Because that doesn't seem very fucking American.

No. I think you can do whatever you want when you buy a building. Yeah, just take a picture of it and send it to the guy who made the art. Yeah, take a picture, NFT it. Treat it like it's a sandcastle. Good job, but when it rains, that's a wrap. Me buying the building is when the rain comes. I like the notepad.

This is such a nice, I really am excited to be here. I'm excited to have you here. Notepad. This is such a nice, I really am excited to be here. I'm excited to have you here. You know, and I want to say when I was a young kid and at the beginning of the UFC, my family were very into the UFC at the beginning. And they still are to this day. But me and my friends, it was amazing.

My parents used to, we would watch them at the very beginning, like the Hoist Gracie and the tanks and the early shit. Like you'd have like a 500 pound sumo guy fighting a karate person that's 120 pounds. And we used to fight. My parents used to, like all of our parents' friends, they would have all the kids, and we would have to, after the UFC, we would all have to fight each other. It was like battle royal. And me and my two brothers and then all of our friends would always be over there,

and we would have to fight each other after. We were all ramped up. My parents would just be all around drinking having a good time Watching their kids beat the shit out of each other and very Canadian. Yeah, it was nice You know a ten-year-old just fighting like a 16 year old and you're just like, you know after watching, you know Hoist Gracie choke hold somebody. I don't know Do you mean maybe think that some of that early head trauma is responsible for your outrageous behavior? I think there's

just a lot of damage up here. There's a lot of damage. There's a lot of shaken up. I'm like a bag of milk. There's a lot of stuff inside. It wants to get out, but it moves around. I've never had a black eye

in my life. Really? Never. I've been in a black eye in my life. Really? Never. And I've been in a lot of fights, and I've been punched in the face a million times. And for some reason, I've never had a black eye. That's pretty crazy. It is. And I remember one time, a New Year's Eve party.

I was hammered before. This is early shit. And I got so drunk, and I was hammered before, you know, this is early shit. And I got so drunk and I was so funny. And I started, I was like, I want a fucking black eye. And I told everyone at the party was allowed to punch me in the face as hard as they could. Jesus Christ, Matty. And I was like, line up. Line the fuck up, you losers.

And I was like, you fucking losers. You fucking losers. You guys don't know how to punch. You can't punch. You can't punch me in the face. And I would like fucking fuck with them. can't punch. You can't punch me in the face. And I would like fucking fuck with them. And then I'd be like, punch me in the face. And then at the end of the night, I had all these welts all over my face, but nobody still got me clean in the face where I got the fucking black eye. Wow. And I don't know why I'm just

going, I'm just jumping. Joe, we're jumping. I'm fine with jumping. We're going to jump around for a little bit. And I used to give my friends black eyes for their birthdays unbeknownst to them. So I would sneak up. If it was your birthday back in the day, I would sneak up and fucking pop you in the fucking face. And then you get a black eye from me for your birthday. This is what happens when you grow up in the woods. People get really bored. The kids beat the shit out of each other in front of the parents while they're drunk.

You're asking people to punch you. You punch them when they're not asking for it. What is this? No, what's happening? Yes. Sparring? Look at that. Almost did a backhand.

Look at that. Well, the problem is those fucking headgear. They can't see shit with those headgear. They can't see anything. Look at that. Oh, my goodness. Big overhand. It's a kick to the groin.

Look at that. See? He's spinning. The kid's just spinning around like a top. Look at that. Like... Oh! I think he fell down.

Look at that. The spin, kick, and the backhand. See? These kids... Oh, they're going right to it. These kids can't... Oh, they're going right to it. They can't hurt each other.

No. They're not hitting hard. So they should take the fucking headgear off so they can at least see what they're doing. They should. Because they're not hitting hard. They should take everything off. They should bare so they can at least see what they're doing. They should. Because they're not hitting hard. They should take everything off. They should bare knuckle. You can't hit hard enough.

My son is five, and I swear he could break my nose. Well, the thing about hitting off, like, with the, you could poke someone in the eye. That could be real. Yes, that's bad. So I don't think they should take the gloves off, but they definitely should take the headgear off. Because those are like fucking 10-ounce gloves. These kids weigh 20 pounds. They're not going to hurt each other with those.

I love the running and the kicking. That's like me fighting now. Jesus Christ. That's how I would fight. That's good. Look at the 20 pounds. They're not going to hurt each other with those giant pillows. I love the running and the kicking. That's like me fighting now. Jesus Christ. That's how I would fight. Look at the guy laughing. Look at the dude. The dude who's the traitor is laughing. Oh my God. That's it. Jesus. These kids are going to war. He's like, get up. Was he taunting

him? He was taunting him. Get the fuck up. Look at that. Get the fuck up again. One more time. White helmet's fucking playing work. White helmet's got some moves. He's got some moves. Look at that. I like that spin that he One more time. White Helmet's fucking playing work. Oh, White Helmet's got some moves. He's got some moves. Look at that. I like that spin that he does. Boom.

He's got some talent. And he's shorter. Look at that guy. White Helmet's my guy. Wow! Look at it. That's perfect. It's a good time to learn because you can't hurt each other.

And so you're accustomed to getting hit. Because as you get older and bigger and stronger and faster, it's scarier. So you're hesitant and you don't learn as well. No. You don't take in a lot when you're older. And you're stuck in your ways. And I'm slower. I feel like I'm slower, but I have dad strength now.

I feel the dad strength is real with the children. I have three kids now and I'm just like. Well, if your kid's five, it's real. Yeah. They're little tiny people. And you've got to grab them. And Mac is a thick boy.. I have three kids now and I'm just like... Well, if your kid's five, it's real. Yeah. They're little tiny people. And you gotta grab them. And Mac is a thick boy and I gotta grab him and he's like I call him a stack of pancakes. He's like he's got a big butt too. And I

grab him and I'm like, what the fuck? Because he gets all ramped up, you know? And I gotta pick him up, shake him like a bag of potatoes or something. Do you make him fight around drunk people? No. Not yet? No, I don't. We keep every... No, I don't. I hate drunk people now. It's just like... You're sober. I'm sobs. Yeah, sobs. When did you get sober? No. Not yet? No, I don't. We keep every... No, I don't. I hate drunk people now. It's just like... You're sober. I'm sobs. Yeah, sobs. When did you get sober? Joe.

Joe, Joe, Joe. When did I get sober? That's not a great question. Guys like you who get sober have a wonderful... Just this year? No, no. What's like nine years ago? 2002? Nine years ago is 2002!

I knew there was a two. Big J.R. with the mathematics! Let's go! It's going to be 12. Yeah, I'm like, nine years ago. I forget what year it is, bro. 1997. I'm living in the past.

Yeah, no, like nine years ago, I had an intervention to stop the brutality that I was putting onto myself. What were you doing? What was your drug of choice? My drug of choice? Cocaine. I just wanted everything. I was a garbage head. I would do MDMA.

I would do shrooms. I would do acid. I would do- You wanted it all at once. I would, yeah. Everything. Whiskey. A lot of whiskey.

You're making me thirsty. I could chug a 26er of whiskey in like two pulls. Really? Oh yeah. That's not a smart thing to do though, right? We could agree. No, no, no. You drink, the second one isn't smart at like 7am. But the first one at like midnight when you do like 10 shots, like you would

drink, at the end my drink of choice,, my drink of choice. So my drink of choice was a pint glass. So a 16 ounce pint full of ice filled with vodka and three limes. So then I would drink those until I was feeling like swirly, real swirly. So I drank like, you know, six, seven, eight of those. Then I'd be like, let's have a beer, crack a beer. Then I drink like fucking a lot of those. And then I'd get into the whiskey.

And then, but on the second vodka, I'd probably do a couple bumpers. And then I just start bumping and then I'm bumping and then I'm bagged in. And then I'm deep in the bag. You're Hunter S. Thompson. You were doing Hunter S. Thompson. Bro, I would want to not, I would want to feel like my bones were outside of my body. And I was like two people. I was like my skin and the muscles. And then the bones were over here.

And I was like, buddy, let's do a bump. And then you're talking to your buddy. And it's just your bones. It's your skeleton. I would want to do everything. Because I started early. Like I wanted the first time I did. I started like early.

12? Yeah, like grade 8, the first time I did, I started, like, early. 12? Yeah, like, grade 8 was the first time I did acid. Whoa. Which is scary. And my parents, like, I was, like, what? 13? Yeah, like, 12, 13. 13.

So, like, I drank, the first drink I ever had, the first alcoholic beverage I ever had was Southern Comfort. Jeez. And me and my friend Kylie got wasted in like grade seven secretly. And then I started like smoking some smokes, stealing, you know, from the uncle's drawer, steal a pack of carton, a little carton of Smokies. And then, and then, you know, yeah, just worked my way up. Wow.

Yeah. Just work your way up. And every day? At the end, yeah. So like at the, by the end of it, you know, like, high school, party boy. You know, like, super party boy. High school, like, you know, fun, fun. My house was the hub.

My house was the hub. My house was the open-door policy in the neighborhood. Me and my brothers were, like, two years apart. So we were, like, the full crew. My older brother was a psychopath. I was a psychopath. My little brother was a psychopath. So we were like the Matheson brothers. And so my house

was, and my parents are beautiful, East Coast loving, food on the table kind of family. You know, not like this like demonic, psycho, toxic shit. We were happy to have everybody come on over. Our place was the place. You know, every Sunday there'd be, you know, football games on and barbecue and cooking.

But it would just be like, you know, everyone was there. Yeah. And, you know, smoking weed and doing shrooms and acid and all that fun stuff, you know. It was like the 70s. Like, days and confused, you know. Mm. Mm. Mm.

And then- Dark side of the moon. Confused, you know? And then nine years ago in 2002, he decided that's a wrap. No. So, you know, the journey, the journey is so long, you know, going to college, getting into like chef school, doing all that stuff. Chefs party hard. Chefs party hard. I learned that from partying with Bourdain.

Yeah, I bet. He would go so hard. Well, it's just a maintenance thing, and it's like a constant thing, and it's just like you build it up. It's part of the culture, too. Well, the thing about it is Valhalla. We want to take care of you. We want you to be in heaven. We want you to—our idea of hospitality is that you are 100% taken care of. We We want you to be in heaven. We want you to... Our idea of hospitality is

that you are 100% taken care of. We're feeding you grapes. We're shoving meat into you. We're shoving meat inside of you. We're doing everything. Drink. Drink, grapes, the fellish, whatever you need. And I think

that's the... And you get caught up you really get caught up because it's everyday where some most people go out and have a Saturday night on Saturday night we have Saturday night every night so it is one of those

things where you can get lost you can get lost and you can get stuck into it you can get fucking you become kind of the thing, the monster a bit, you know? And I am so obsessed with everybody having a good time. But sometimes my idea of what a good time is wasn't really the good time, you know? And I was so young, like when I opened my first restaurant, I was 26 when I opened my first restaurant and in 27 when I opened my second one

So when we opened up parts and labor, it was crazy parts of labor was a giant old warehouse big 14 person tables like a hall and We would it was insane people like food reviewers didn't know what was happening because we were young we were cool We played really loud music and we served really good food and people just didn't know you know It's like one of those things where you like trick and it was in a part of town that wasn't really built up yet and And it was just like it was chaos and and and my partners were chaos

And we all loved partying and we all were like riding this wave and and the wave sometimes you get fucking barreled and i think it's just like but you keep going and you know and and it is that pressure of making the best food that you can having the best experience for those people that are coming into your restaurant and at the same time, party, party, excuse me. What's happening over there? I'm getting like mucus from the coffee. The coffee's like rattled my mucuses. Was it like, were you wrapped up in the party because everyone's having a good time and

you want to have a good time too? Yeah. I was the last guy at the party kind of thing, you know, where it was just like, after about two years at Parts and Labor, it kind of died, the hype died down. And it was, you know, it was just kind of one of those things where it's just like every day we partied. It wasn't like, on the days off, all of our staff would party together. And it was just like one of those things.

So at 29, I'm 39 now. So at 29, I had a heart attack, right? So I had a heart attack after about a three-day binge, no sleep, big fucking work, you know, just like 15 years. My whole life of being a maniac, being a psychopath, being like, I'll do anything on the table. Whatever's on the table, I'll do it. No problem. No do it. No problem No questions asked no like demons even I just want to have like literally I Just wanted to fucking

Get so fucked up, and I didn't even know why I wanted to get so fucked up and then And then the heart attack happened, and it was like a crazy Kind of moment that was like a crazy thing because it happened like in my sleep and i woke up so it was like after i crashed after three days so i'm at home and i wake up at like five in the morning and it's after like a saturday night shift and i was like i'm done i like haven't slept in three days. I'm just going to fucking bed. See ya. And I go home, and I wake up at like 5, 5.30 in the morning. And I'm a big dude, so I used to do this thing. If I was partying really hard and I'd get palpitations,

I would do this thing where I'm doing almost like jumping jacks, and I would cough out the palpitations that I would feel, and I thought that was doing well. I don't know if you do that when you're working out and you feel your heart rate getting to where you feel like your heart's going to explode. But I used to do this, like, jumping jack thing. And I'd be, like, at a party just shoveling cocaine in my face.

And all of a sudden I'd be like, and, like, doing this thing. And everyone's like, what's he doing? And I'm like, I'm at the level now. Now I'm at, like, the good pace. And, like, a fucking goddamn cheetah. And then I, you know, and then I woke up and I was like, I think I'm going to have a heart attack. What was it feeling like?

Okay. It was like an uncompromising vice grip on my heart. So it was like this thing that was getting tighter and it wouldn't stop if I moved or anything. And I would stand up and I was like stretching and I was doing all these things. I was just like, this is just, it's just clenching and it's getting tighter and it, and it, and it hurts like something I've never, and I'm like third degree burns, cut my tendons off, break my shit. Like I understand I'm covered in tattoos. I understand pain. I understand levels of pain.

I understand, you know, all that kind of shit. And I was like, this is something I've never felt before. And this is something that I'm like, I know my palpitations. I know like, you know, Coke boy fucking psycho shit. And I'm just like, this is not that this is like, and I was like, Trish, take me to the hospital. And Trish is like, okay, yeah? It's go time? And I'm like, it's happening.

It's like we're having a kid. I was like, you got your drug addict boyfriend overnight hospital bag? Let's go. Did she anticipate that this was eventually going to take place? I don't know. If you asked her, maybe. I was so in it. Take me to the hospital.

Like if I said to my wife, take me to the hospital. She'd be like, why? I would have to explain. I think I'm having a heart attack. She'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? Exactly. I wore my drug use on my sleeves. So she was like, this is not outside of what's possible.

Let's go. She's like, you stupid piece of shit. Let's go. Hospital. Don't die. Don't die. We're like three blocks away from the hospital, though, which is lucky. Oh, that's nice.

Shout out to St. Joe's. So I go to the hospital, and when they take your blood, so I walk in, and they're like, into the ER, and I'm like, I think I'm going to have a heart attack. And they're like, what? What's happening? Okay, do you do this? Do you do this? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's go. Let's go. I'm having a heart attack here. And they fucking, so they take your blood, your enzymes change. And they find broken glass. They're like, there's broken glass. There's elastic bands. There's fucking.

Tampons. There's tampons. They're like, there's just a million little Ziploc bags inside of me. You know, I'm like the ocean. I'm the ocean. There's that much plastic inside of me. And they're like, you had a heart attack four hours ago. And I was like, yeah! And I was kind of

like, sick. Okay, so I had a heart attack four hours ago and I'm still alive. So I'm good? And they're like, no, you're not good. And I was like, okay. So what do we do? And they're like, we're going to bring you to the ER and we're going to lay you down in a bed and you're going to calm down. I was like, okay, can I call my parents? I think I need

to call my parents. And they're like, okay, can I call my parents? I think I need to call my parents. And they're like, okay, call your parents. And I went outside, had a smoke. Of course you did. Yeah, I'm just like, I'm going to have a fucking smoke. Go outside in the parking lot. I'm like, hey, mom, dad, I don't want to stress you guys out, but I think I had a heart attack.

The doctor says I had a heart attack four hours ago. I'm walking around right now, so I feel pretty cool. But I feel relief. What exactly is a heart attack? What happens? I had one of my valves just closed up. It's a matter of seizes. Yeah, it seized up. And

yeah, it just seized up. You know what I know about heart attacks? What do you know? Richard Pryor explaining about his heart attack during one of his specials. Oh my god. That's literally about what I know about heart attacks? What do you know? Richard Pryor explaining about his heart attack during one of his specials. Oh, my God. That's literally about what I know about heart attacks. That's it. Pryor.

Him going, you weren't thinking about that shit when you ate that pork. Yeah. Remember that? I don't remember. No. I'm old. I'm young. I know Pryor.

Not that bit, though. Yeah, well. It's a good bit. It's classic. It's a classic bit. Yeah, I'd see it. So what do they do when you go in for a heart attack? Do they give you liquids in an IV form?

Yeah, all of a sudden I get laced up. I get, like, laced up. I get covered. I get all the patches on me. I get the IV. I get the thing. I'm in the hospital bed. Things start mellowing out.

Things start clicking and really kind of settling. My adrenaline is going down. I start, you i start you know getting sad start thinking about life i put on my headphones put on the explosions in the sky and i'm just like it's friday night lights in my head and i'm just like start crying and then i'm not a big crier i'm not a crier but in that moment i didn't cry like when my children were born. I didn't cry I feel like I'm still there's too many broken pieces of their heart attack song that brings you back to the moment when you had A heart attack maybe just like explosions in the sky just like Friday Night Lights the beginning of Friday Night Lights if I watch it Yeah, if I watch Friday Night Lights for some reason it like triggers

And I'm just like it makes me just want to party really it makes me Heart attacks made me think of audio slave for some reason Makes me just want to party really. It makes me, hard text makes me think of Audioslave for some reason. Chris Cornell, I would think like I Am The Highway. You know that song? I am the highway. Not the golden wheel. I am the highway.

I don't know. I'm just expressing myself, Jamie. I don't have any understanding. I don't know why the fuck I think like this. Did he have a heart attack? How did Chris? Chris Cornell, he's suicide. Suicide.

Yeah, it's sad. It is sad, the ultimate. Yeah, super sad. It's sad. But the- So, heart attack. We're in the bed. You're in the bed.

You're all covered in electrodes and shit. Electrodes and shit. Then I get up to my room and they're like, you have to stay in the hospital for- Until your enzymes flip. Your cells or whatever flip back your white cells or whatever Yeah, it could take five to ten days. Hmm. I'm like, okay cool, whatever Because in Canada once again shout out to Canada the one really cool thing healthcare so it's just like I'm in the hospital for end up like seven days and

I get a I get a bill for six6 because I had a phone in my room. So I had like a phone, a live whatever, a fucking old school phone. So I had to pay for the phone line. Wow. Yeah. They don't cover that. That's pretty tight. Yeah.

That's nice. And so I'm in the hospital, hooked up to everything. They got to take my blood every two hours, 24 hours a day. And I'm fucking fat covered in tattoos. So they have to find a vein. Yeah. It takes for, I'm getting,

it's fucking, it sucks, but I get out and, um, you know, I got to think about a lot of things, you know, I got to think about what I'm going to do. I got to think about who I am.

I got to think about what I'm going to do. I got to think about who I am. I got to think about the scariest thing is like one of the scariest things is your identity. My identity was if you came to Toronto, you were going to come to parts and labor and party with me. If you were a chef, if you were like, you know, a cool celebrity, if you were like a thing, you would come to parts and labor and like party, you know, kind of thing. And I was so fixated on this like persona, this thing that I'm like this party boy. And it was really scary because I was like, am I really that, you know, or am I really this genuine? Like, am I this sweet little boy still? Like, am I am I this monster that I've kind of created? How do I get back to like this place of like sanity?

that I've kind of created? How do I get back to this place of sanity? How do I get back to this place of just realness? Like where I can be me. The fear of people not liking you is pretty heavy with most people. And all of a sudden I was just like, no one's going to like me. It's going to affect my restaurants.

It's going to affect my business. It's going to affect my contract with fucking Vice. Because my very first thing I did with Vice was a show called Hangover Cures, where I would take a chef and get them as fucked up as possible. Then the next day, that chef would have to cook me a hangover cure. And so it was just like at the very beginning, I was so afraid that my whole identity was drugs, alcohol. It was me and To separate that and to do the work and to get into fucking all the shit Was very scary because it didn't even I didn't even get sober for two years after that

Wow, so or a year after how long after the heart attack do you start partying again three? it took about three months for me to like spruce my goose up enough to get nuts. And that is the turning point where I truly believe that I turned into a fucking full-blooded addict. Because then all of a sudden, I had an out. I had a safe out. I had the story. I had the love of all my friends. We're like, Maddie, we're with you.

You know, so much beautiful support from all of my crews deep. And I was just like so much good love for my friends. And then all of a sudden I started hiding, going to different places, different bars, different little drug homes, I like to call them. You know, little. Trap house. Yeah, little places. Little critter little homes. Is that a trap house?

No. No. Trap house where you dance? Trap house. You can do whatever. Little critter little homes. Is that a trap house? No. No. Trap house where you dance? Trap house. You can do whatever. What happens in a trap house? Fuck chicks? Trap it.

What happens in trap houses? You can say it. The business happens. The business happens. The business happens. And then you go to the other house to use it, usually. Oh, because you don't get high at the trap house. Just business.

You can't get high on your own supply. No, Joe. A don't get high at the trap house just business no joe hey never get high on your own supply tank crack man shot the biggie the um you know i think that's when i really was getting fucking crazy and that's when i started turning like it's less fun and more of an addict. Yeah. I got very violent. Really? Yeah. Like I got banned from our own nightclub.

I got banned from like, you know, I got walked in on and I was trying to like rob pretty much this drug dealer. I was like, I swung on, like I would be blackout drunk trying to fight my friends and like being like, you can't stop. Like, because people would try to stop me. They would like, I would walk into a bar and like, because I'm in the hospitality group, like, you know, I'm in the crew. So it's just imagine, imagine like being a comedian and somebody gets almost like blacklisted,

but we still love you, but you can't show up here. But we love you. You can do your comedy like by yourself out in your car, but you can't come in here. Right. And I'm just like, well, I want to still go into the bar. I go to the bar every day. The bar is my that's my safe place. You know, I want to I want to go into the bar.

Like, let me in. And everyone's like, you're not dying here. You're not dying at my fucking bar. So then I had to start going to these deeper, darker places and push myself. And and and before when I used to do drugs, I never had to say, fuck it in your head. You know, when you're about to jump and you gotta be like, fuck it, let's go. You know? So those moments when you often have to be like, you have to push yourself. I was doing that with drugs where I'd be like, I know, now I know that I could die before my ego was like you'll never die Maddie you're the

fucking man but now all of a sudden my ego is a little bit shook but my ego still is like fuck you you're gonna keep doing this and so I had to keep doing it and I had to keep saying fuck you to myself so every time that I started doing drugs I would be like fuck it let's go and then that was the moment when I was just like that's when shit got dark and so there was like a year of that and then my last time I ever drank the last time I ever did any like fucking anything was uh you know nine years ago the weekend of November, whatever, 12th. And my friend was visiting from England, a chef, and we were doing a big dinner. And I got so fucking drunk.

And I walked in Friday service, mid-service, didn't even show up for work. Took the chef out and was just like, you know, didn't tell anybody. I'm just like bringing my buddy around town, being a host. And I show up and all the partners were sitting at one of the chef out and was just like, you know, didn't tell anybody. I'm just like bringing my buddy around town, being a host. And I show up and all the partners were sitting at one of the chef's tables. So there was like in the big kitchen at parts in this warehouse, there was like three chef's tables. So the VIPs, the homies, all the people got to sit in the chef's tables. And all the partners were sitting there. And I walked in and they're like, what's up?

You don't have to show up for work, bro. You get to do whatever you want to do kind of thing. Like what the fuck? And I was just like, what the fuck do you want? And I was just like, and I was like, what do you want? Your restaurant's packed this fucking look at this. And I walked out into the middle of the dining room and I was like, Hey, everybody, who the fuck is having the best time ever? And everyone's like, ah! And I looked at all the partners. I was like, fuck you. This is my crew. This is my fucking world.

That didn't go well. Ego. I was such a psychopathic young psycho. Well, those two things, booze and coke. I mean, they are the accentuators. I got a little pee-pee. I got to make it up somewhere. You know? It's so hard

to fill the void. And I found that with that. And then the next day, one of my partners was like, hey, let's meet for a coffee. I want to fire you to your face and i was just like okay yeah fire me you can't like i was just like what are you gonna do with

your restaurant bro what are you gonna do with all your restaurants i'm the face of your company i'm the guy and i showed up and uh he's like meet me here i'll pick you up we're gonna go for a coffee i was like okay let's meet up and i pick you up. We're going to go for a coffee. I was like, okay. Let's meet up. And I knew that I could manipulate and talk to him and, you know, be like, we're cool. You know, I won't do it again. Attic shit. Yeah. Attic shit.

Yeah, just manipulate, manipulate, manipulate, manipulate. And fucking, and he drives me and it's like, oh my God. He pulls up to like my homie's house. Who's like straight edge vegan warrior oh boy and I'm just like oh perfect and then like four of my dudes come out and I'm just like okay

let's see what you fucking losers gotta say you know let's hear what all my best friends gotta say about me how much you love me and how much you care about me let's see what you fucking like losers gotta say you know like instantly going into like hating these people that are trying to like help me and uh you know the veils that can come when you sit down in front of your best friends your true your your your true inner circle the people you can't lie to the people that you can't there's

no facade there's no media there's no nothing it's you and your friends and I sat down and I listened for like four hours and you know in the next day one of the guys there goes to meetings and he's like we're going to a meeting and so the next day I walked into a meeting and, you know, the miracle happened. At a meeting? Yeah. What made you hit the switch? You go from, is everybody having a good fucking time to, all right, I'm done. Yeah.

Because I think the lying. Within that four-hour period, that transitional period, that was my out. I could stop lying. Because I was lying. The lying is what really broke me. It's about whether or not you were using. Where I was going, the people I was hanging out with, lying to Trish. Another thing, I've been with Trish for like 21 years.

You know, she's a fucking saint. She's a hard-bodied Italian-Irish woman. She's fucking, you know, three home births. She doesn't fuck around. Yikes. She's fucking real deal. Home births. Bruh. I'll birth the child right now. Jamie, you got a baby in there? Let's go. I'll birth you.

So the fucking... I was like, why isn't Trisha here? And she's like, she's out. It's up to you. She's got nothing left to say. She's out. It's up to you. She's got nothing left to say. She's out. It's up to you now. And I was just like, huh, I don't like that. And even now, like, you know, like I feel I can trigger that feeling of this is real.

This is it. This is a time where I can stop. This is a time where i can stop this is a time where i can i don't i can stop okay i accept you know i accept that i'm i i i have a a chance and not ever having to lie i have a chance i don't have to do that again you know and uh you know and then and then a lot of hard work, a lot of years, a lot of listening, a lot of taking suggestions and doing things that other people say and listening, you know. A lot of suggestions were crucial. The way I was living my life was not the way I should live my life. The insanity, doing things repeatedly, thinking there's going to be a different outcome.

Yeah. Insanity, doing things repeatedly, thinking there's going to be a different outcome. Yeah. Insanity. It's just amazing that you went from fuck everybody to one meeting, and you're like, okay. Yeah. And that was it. No more drinking, no more drugs, no relapses, that's it. That's it. That's incredible.

So you just, you hit the shift. I hit the shift. So you kind of knew you were going to have to get off the ride eventually. Well, yeah. The thing is, I'm more good than bad in the ego, in the... You know? Yes. I'm more aware than unaware.

I'm not a fucking idiot. Right. I have a nice life. I love my parents. I love my family. I love myself. Yeah. You know? I have a lot of. I love my parents. I love my family. I love myself. Yeah. You know, I have a lot of things to live for.

And, you know, that was the thing where it was just like, am I going to be, you know, a loser? Right. Am I going to be, am I going to not have a job? Am I not going to, like, I don't come from money. Am I, I'm not going to be taken care of. There's no one to take care of me. I need to figure my shit out. That was a good run.

High school, college, fucking my entire career, everything I wanted to do, perfect. I got to do everything my way, and it ended up here. Almost dead. Friendless. Jobless. everything my way and it ended up here almost dead friendless jobless fucking from the most popular cool dude you know in my head to an almost dead guy to an almost dead guy that that that nobody actually really liked anymore too a lot of people would see me off the rails because i saw you know i wouldn't shower i was a psychopath wear the same clothes every day just like like maniac so it's just like nobody wants to be around that guy so

how did you deal with the shift in your identity because like this is that's an issue for a lot of people when they stop doing something it's a big issue for fighters when fighters retire from the sport their identity is wrapped up in fight that's why so many fighters make ill-advised comebacks later in their life um what did you do about your identity like how did you release this hold that you had on this idea that you're this party animal and that that was why you were that was part of who you were well I think the thing that helped me truly was make shifting from a chef it was at that perfect moment shifting from one career to another I was a chef I was a chef like I would I only care about

chefs I didn't care about TV. Fuck you. Fuck anybody on TV. Bourdain's cool, but fuck everybody. I was like the punk chef guy. Where I was just like, being on TV is for kooks. Like, oh yeah? You're gonna have a fucking food network? Well, fuck yourself.

You fucking losers. You sell out. Yeah, that whole thing. And then Vice, at the exact same moment, was doing a lot of food content, and so was I. And so all of a sudden, that was that thing where all of a sudden, I could leave that chef persona behind. All of a sudden, I'm just in front of a camera. And all of a sudden, the feelings i was getting wasn't from real people it was actually from like you know comments and like being like oh people fuck with me i can i can make content

and people it makes people happy it fucks you know people fuck with what i'm doing yeah and all of a sudden i was just like that really helped me just be able to be myself. I took myself out of, I made a lot of different rules even, where I wouldn't be in the restaurant past 10 o'clock. So I would never even finish service. So service would finish at 11, but it was triggering for me for the first year. Because that's when everybody partied. Well, at clean, like, okay, you know, last hour, big push. We're going fucking down.

Let's fucking amp it up. Big, like, finish fucking strong shit. And then we scrub down. And as soon as we scrub down, everyone gets a beer. Saturday night, I would buy whatever, cocaine for everybody, whoever wants it. Here's cocaine. Here's beers. Let's go fucking party, boys.

You know? And, you know, all of a sudden, I didn't have a crew. So did the other people stop partying as well? A lot of my cooks did. There was a lot of solidarity. Oh, that's cool. And it was an interesting thing because also I'm kind of the last of this, like, you know, bro chef shit. Like, psychopathic dudes.

I'm like, I was tattooed because I was punk, not because I was a chef. You know, all of a sudden there's all these cool chef bros. But I was like a hard-bodied, French-trained chef. And fucking, you know, now everyone's running and jogging. I don't think people like saying jogging. But everyone's being active and eating well and doing meditation and all this stuff. So I was like, my crew was a transitional time too, right? Within the last 10 years.

Within the last seven to five years was a big transition. And just the mentality of chefs to be like instead of like eating chocolate bars and smoking cigarettes and getting drunk and fucked up every day we're gonna meditate jog or run and work out and be peaceful and like talk about like different books that help us and check in on each other and all of a sudden there was like this big transition with me and our team and all that kind of stuff too. Even more so now it's a full like thing across our whole company about all that kind of stuff. But, you know, there was like, it was one of those things where we were just like, it was kind of like, maybe they're hiding it from me. But there was definitely like, we wouldn't drink at work anymore.

You know, like nobody would drink online. Nobody. Out of respect for you. Yeah. Like it was like a thing like we got you chef that's nice yeah like well it's like that thing where it's just like you know maybe they were doing all the drugs and partying to like people please me you know maybe they didn't want to go as hard as i was pushing everyone to be like let's fucking go we cook hard we fucking show up for work and we fucking party till 6 a.m and then we're at work by 11 a.m

you know like that's not a sustainable anything. No, that's not sustainable And I did that every day, you know, like I did that, you know, five six days a week for 15 years Mmm, you know like I went to bed at my bedtime like when Trish would start blowing my phone up was like 601 So like my bed like I had to be home by 6 Because then she'd be like, okay, now you're getting like crispy. You know, from that 6 a.m. to like 8 a.m. is when you're like calling the drug dealer

for the 15th time. And you're doing like the crispy shit then. So like my bedtime was like 6 a.m. So then I'd go home, sleep, from 6 to like 10.30, and then go to work. Four hours? Yeah, bro.

Just a fucking rhino. That alone would give you a heart attack. Yeah, bro. Whoa. Just a fucking rhino. Yeah, I guess so. Drink a lot of water though. Well, that's good. But yeah,

shout out to water. I like how that cancels things out. I drink water. Yay. But yeah, like it is. That's, I asked him earlier,

do you take vitamins? He's like, no, I drink a lot of water, though. One booger a day. One booger a day just to make sure the immune system. Yeah, the immune system's rocking. So one booger a day.

And then just fucking 16 liters of H2O. Well, it's good to drink water. I agree with that. We can find common ground. That's our common ground, drinking water. Yeah, water's good for you. I like that, Joe. I think you need more than four hours sleep, but that's just my personal opinion.

Well, now I go to bed at 9.30 and wake up at like 6. Oh, well, that's great. Yeah. Oh, that's really good. I'm like a 9.30, 10 o'clock latest guy. Wow. So you're getting a solid, you know, nine-ish, eight and a half? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tuck in. I got my sleep apnea mask. Oh. Do you have the CPAP machine? Yeah, I got a CPAP machine, but then I don't use it half the time. It's too gnarly. I get up to pee like five times a night because I'm such a great water drinker. So then, you know, yeah, putting the machine back on at like 4 a.m. is not good.

But I sleep good. I sleep good. I'm happy. You know, Joe? This is a heavy story, man. It's a lot. But I love the fact that you realized when your friends were all, you were like, fuck, what the fuck are you going to say?

And then you're like, oh, that is really it. Well, it's just like you put so many veils on. You lie. You lie. You cheat. You fucking do everything that you need to do to get whatever you need because you want it. Because you're trying to fill a void.

I deserve it. Because the void filling. Yeah. You know? I need it. I deserve it. Fuck the void filling. Yeah. You know, I need it. I deserve it. Fuck the world. Why does he have that?

I want that. Fuck. I'm not even going to do anything. I'm just going to go do coke with somebody I don't know for six hours. You know, like it's just like, what is that? And then when you're with your real friends and they're really being sweet and they're telling you like the real shit and you just take off the facade and you take off the facade and then eventually you're like, there you are. There you are, Peter.

You know, Hook, the movie, Robin Williams, great film. And they're like, there you are, Peter. But yeah, I mean, like it is. People are fucking messy, man. Yeah. It's messy to be a person. It is. And you can get wrapped up in that kind of partying.

Yeah. You know, especially if you're involved in something like you were involved with where you are entertaining. That's part of what you're doing is like you're the beast. And then I became the jester. Yeah. You know, you become like, that's the thing is like the party's over and you become the fool, you know?

And it's like, that's the thing is like now I just want to have a thing. Like, I just want my life to be normal Yeah, you know I just want to have my I want to go to work Monday to Friday when I have weekends with my family and That's it You know like I want to you got the best of both worlds like you had the experiences that you could talk about and you have These you have the chaos in your past. Ah, but yet you still are having a good time best time the best time

and that's the thing my identity is now I am me I finally get to just be be myself I'm a weird loud mouth kind of fucking spaz and it's just like

I got mad ADD and I just want to fucking like grab you and like I really want to feel your muscles right now that's all I'm thinking about really I want to be like I want to feel his traps or his biceps I want to just grab it and like but that's my head right and then I'm like talking about this vulnerable bullshit and I'm just like I'm gonna grab his bicep in like two more hours but it's just like I think you know but I I get to be me i get to get a dm from you being like hey come on the show and i'm like what world am i living in you

know and i'm just like i'm like still my brain is like i live on a farm in ridgeway ontario you know i'm like i'm out here with my kids and it's just like i'm so disconnected actually from should we say how you do it how you get over here, or should we not say that? Yeah, no, no everything is cool. Oh, no, no, no, no, it's cool. Yeah. Yeah, you can talk about it You know it is fucked right now. Can it is juiced? They're so locked down and I don't understand why they think that's good. I don't understand why they think that's the solution And I don't understand why they think that's good. I don't understand why they think that's the solution.

Yeah. You know, I mean, we're dealing with an America in weird spots, right? Like America has states and each state has a different approach. And Florida's got one approach and California has another. Opposite sides of the country. Like literally polar opposite sides of the ideologies. And Florida's doing fucking way better. I was just in Florida and it's like nothing's happening.

Like maybe you'll get sick. Maybe you won't. But we're out here with no masks on, 15,000 people in a fucking arena for the UFC fights. It was madness. It was crazy. It was powerful. It was really good. But I'm like, hey, guys, take your vitamin D, sleep, drink water.

Let's go. Let's go. You can't do Canada. You can't do what you're doing where you have fucking Gestapo pulling people over for your papers. Why are you out? Why are you out of the house? They're doing a lot of... There's a cold floating around. Why are you out of the house?

There is. There's a lot of... Overreaction? There's a lot of overreaction. There's a government... Shout out to Doug Ford. You're a piece of shit. He's the brother of the guy that died.

The coke guy. He was my favorite. Dude, he was my hero. There's so many people. Rob. Rob Ford. Rest in peace, baby. Dude, Rob Ford, but it's just like that's the guy I wanted to party with. I was like, I want to party with that guy.

I want to do crack and smoke crack with that guy. Remember when he was coked up talking about how he was like Mike Tyson and he knocked the motherfucker out? I was like, that is such coke talk. There's no he has he didn't even have big forearms. He couldn't knock anybody out He was just like a big jelly bean process. That's it shoulders. What's it? What is it? I think more shoulders or shoulder than forearm. Yeah, Tommy Hearns had big shoulders. He didn't really have big forums Oh, well, they were friends are good really large. I'm getting hot Joe

Show that shirt, bro. Powerful truth angels. I made it. I did a stencil drawing one. Pencil. Well, I guarantee you someone listening to this show is going to create you some fine art that will represent this podcast. When did you start the podcast? You got the ACA? The Big Dog Sweatin'.

Well, this coffee. What's it called? Black Rifle. Black Rifle Coffee. Let me tell you something. This thing is fucking. It's legit coffee. Shout out to. That's making my foreskin fucking wrinkle up. Evan Hafer and Matt Best. Hey, God bless.

Legit coffee. Yeah, the podcast, we started the podcast, me and Two Tone, I don't know, like two years ago. How often are you doing the YouTube shows? Okay, so the YouTube shows are great. We're doing I have like three different little studios now And I'm doing when I get back from this trip I'm gonna start doing a weekly a new cooking show and just a dash is like I've only made like 24 episodes That's expensive. You know I pay all my dudes like well and

That is expensive to do just a dash. We're trying to figure out some funding. What's the difference between... I don't know what the names of any of them are. I just find you, and then I watch your videos. That's good. That's okay. I love watching cooking videos. Where is that sound? I don't like cooking television shows for the most part.

No. Losers. Other than Bourdain. I really got into them with Bourdain, and I'm like, okay, no, I don't really like cooking shows. I like Bourdain. He was a human person. He was a human person. He's like, I don't care where you come from, what your story is, fucking tell me.

He was, uh, yeah. He was people's people. He was a very unusual dude. I really enjoyed hanging out with him. I can imagine. I was so afraid of meeting him. Me too. I was, and I never did. And I'm happy that I, because I was so... You never met him? I never met him. And I even, anytime he came to Toronto, I would make sure that I didn't go because I don't know I was just I was like I'm gonna fucking ruin it

Yeah I would think that he makes fun of exactly because I was too young and too fucking psycho and too into medium Yeah, where I was just like I can't meet him because I'll fucking kook it. Yeah, I was uh I got Super like starstruck when I met him hmm don't a few people Not that often Occasionally a little bit Occasionally like if I meet a rock star like I met Steven Tyler I was like I can't believe this really him David Lee Roth weirded me out

I was like this is really daily that's's really him. David Lee Roth weirded me out. I was like, this is really David Lee Roth? That's him, his face. He looks old. But he's so fucking cool. He's so easy to hang with. David Lee Roth doesn't even have a phone. Incredible. He has a lady that is his handler, and you have to contact the lady, and the lady will drop Dave off,

and she will say, let me know if there's anything wrong. It's like a baby. It's crazy. I don't even know if he had a wallet. I paid for dinner. I don't know if there's anything wrong. It's like a baby. It's crazy. I don't even know if he had a wallet. I paid for dinner. I don't know if he had a wallet. There's no way. He just hangs.

He doesn't. He just hangs. That's a good vibe, though. But he's the nicest, most easygoing. He's always laughing. When I was a kid, my sister's boyfriend had a Van Halen license plate. It was like V Hn Hln or something like that like we were Van Halen fanatics in high school

So for you know from running with the devil to like all of a sudden I'm hanging out with David Lee Roth like dude. It's just it was too strange There's some gods is very strange But meeting Bourdain was an odd one and then becoming his friend Was an odd one and like a text each'd text him about stuff and ask him questions. Like, if I was going to a place, I went to Japan. When I was in Japan, I was like, where are the best sushi places? He would always give me detailed suggestions of where to go, and this is the spot, and

go there. Yeah, and I ate with him a gang of times, because his ex-wife was a UFC fanatic. And so I met him was a UFC fanatic. And so I met him at the UFC in Vegas. Jiu-Jitsu. She was Jiu-Jitsu too, right? Yeah, Tavia. She's a beast. She's really talented.

You know, just really cool, period. So she was really into the UFC, and then he got really into the UFC too. And so he started coming to some of the UFCs, came to some of my comedy shows. We hung out. We became buddies. I did his television show. And then, you know. Where'd you do his?

We went pheasant hunting in Montana. That's nice. And that's when I realized how hard he goes. Yeah. Because we were out there in the middle of the woods camping. And this motherfucker was just pounding. I brought a vape pen. We were getting blasted on weed.

And he just kept drinking, kept going. And I'm like. You can drink it forever. Like, that's the thing is, I could drink forever. Yeah. I'm like, you can drink it forever. Like, that's the thing is I could drink forever. Yeah, I could drink like forever, you know, just days like not stopping. And I think it's just like that's the thing is you just you can't stop because then that's when the machine breaks down, you know. Well, that is the thing about alcohol, too, right? You got to keep it lubed. Well, no, the alcohol and benzos and alcohol are the only thing that really kill you, or

one of the rare things that really kill you if you jump off them. That's what they say about Amy Winehouse. Right, right. She died from withdrawals. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, those are... Benzodiazepines and alcohol are apparently the most common for people to die from withdrawal. Like, heroin apparently just makes you really sick. It feels like shit, but it doesn't kill you

No, it's when you start that doesn't always kill you. Yeah, like that's the thing. It's so scary And that's the thing too. I think most people like if I do stop there's repercussions to what happened when you did stop nothing Killed it. Yeah, I Wasn't I wasn't doing opiates i wasn't doing anything yeah but alcohol but alcohol alone like i i just i don't know i didn't really get the dt's no i i was just kind of like i'm like a fucking giant baby moose you know like i was just like i'm like i don't know i broke my foot literally in like four places like six weeks ago and i'm

just had a cast on and everything i'm walking around like a fucking freak and i'm just like i don't know it's like one of those things i feel like i heal ago, and I'm just – I had a cast on and everything. I'm walking around like a fucking freak, and I'm just like – I don't know. It's like one of those things. I feel like I heal differently or something. Like I just – I'm just like – Like maybe if you lost weight, you'd be a real athlete. Well, if I – let me tell you something, Joe. Tell me something, please. Let me tell you something about losing weight, my big man.

Okay. One day I'm going to get there. Why don't you go with Action Bronson? Go party with that dude. You know, Bronson is such a... He impressed the fuck out of me. He did it. He did the damn thing.

He lost 130 so far, and he's going to keep going. Of course. He's going to lose another 30. Now he's going to tune. That's the thing. It's so sweet. Truly. He gave me a call.

We've had our differences over the years and stuff like that. And then he gave me... You got squabbled? We had small squabbles. We've had our differences over the years and stuff like that. And then he gave me a squabble. We had like small squabbles. We had some squabs. But I think it was just like, you know, too many cooks in the kitchen with vice. And I think it was just like there was a lot of different little things, you know. But he gave me a shout. And I was watching.

Like it was crazy. Like he started popping up. And I was just like, he's doing it. and I was just like, he's doing it. And I was just like, he's fucking doing it. And I think it's like, you know, like, I even hit him up. Like, when his book came out, I, like, hit him up, and I was just like, hey, man, we have the same publisher, too. And I was just like, congratulations on publication day. Like, you know, third book, big one.

And this one's, like, meaningful, you know? I'm sure your other books are, but I was like, this one's, like, a real one, you know, third book, big one. And this one's like meaningful, you know, sure your other books are, but I was like, this one's like a real one, you know? And, uh, you know, it's just very inspiring, but I think the thing, so this is addict brain ego. Now, during the pandemic, I had to figure out how to take care of my family. So I've been trying to figure out, and these are excuses, how to figure out how to truly take care of my family. Because when the pandemic hit, I was only playing defense with my work.

I was flying around the world just getting checks, collecting checks. Manny Madison, come here to Australia. Manny Madison, come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Pandemic hit. I had six months of booked out travel, paid, fucking dialed, like here's my year, half a year, gone instantly.

Then lost, you know, a lot of stuff. I had to, and then I was just like, wait, I'm a fucking tool. I'm a gadget. There's no way that this is fucking going down like this. So I had to figure out how to make my own money. And so then that's when I transitioned back into restaurants. So with Maker Pizza, I was just a consultant. Now I'm a partner.

But for the last five years, I was just a consultant. So I was like, I don't even have a fucking restaurant. I'm this chef traveling around the world being a chef. I'm not a chef. A chef isn't a fucking MD. You're not a fucking doctor. A chef is a person that trains other cooks how to fucking cook if you're in front of your team You're a chef if you walk outside. I don't believe you like you're not a chef. You're just a person

You know chefs aren't these fucking? Monolithic things I don't believe in action. Yeah, I strongly believe that like if you were in were in a kitchen, you're a chef. If you are leading a team, teaching them how to cut better, sharpen their knives, cut vegetables, take care of things, build stocks, build dishes, understand the ergonomics of a dish, then you're a chef. But I was just like, I'm not anything now. Because I'm only as good as my last paycheck. Right. So I'm just like, there's no more paychecks. So I had to, was like, you know, I had some restaurant partners, and I was like, we're going to activate.

We're going to build out some things. We're going to build out some concepts. We're going to start doing some shit. And we went into action, and we started doing those things, and it's taken up a lot of time and a lot of mental capacity. And I believe after this foot breaking that I truly, I have this gym that I built in my barn. And it's a great gym. I got the TRX.

I got squat racks. I got the kettlebells. I got the fucking balls. I got the fucking bands. I got all this shit in my barn. And, you know, I just got out of my boot like two weeks ago. and I just got out of my boot two weeks ago, and my main concern shortly is going to be that next level because it's just like right now I had to figure out,

I'm not The Rock. 5 a.m., wake up. I got my regimen. To build a new routine that I've never had a routine. I've been a fat kind of kid my whole life. I played sports in high school, fucking lacrosse and shit. But it was like never like, I was never like an athlete athlete. You know, I was always like a fatter.

I was like the fat brother. My brother, abs, big dick. Way to go, Steve. My younger brother, like bigger than me, fucking massive, strong motherfucker. 20,000 steps a day, psychopath, concrete backpack, walking around the fucking neighborhood like a psychopath. My brothers fucking ripped. Me, I was always the fat kid. So I always have that ego too where I fucking fuck them.

Their DNA is better than mine. So I fought with being the fat kid, fought with being this, you know, whatever, just being this shape, you know? And now I've built to a level where I feel comfortable with my team that I can start focusing my energy and time more on, you know, my physical self, which will help my mental self, which will now help everything else. So I think I'm trying to, like, build my own Swiss clock of my Maddie world. And right now I had to set up a financial foundation of businesses, which I have.

And now I'm going, and I have my home with my family taken care of. And now I can kind of tend, start tending to Maddie a little bit. Does that make sense? Yes. It's a long journey of words to get to. You're going to lose weight.

Yeah, Joe. I get it. Yes, Joe. I get it. You're prepared. I've never worked out a day in my life. Like, look at these pumps. I got pump-ups.

You want to arm wrestle? What do you, like, what do you? I think I need to. You know, Joe, I would like to lose weight. But I also think it's like, fuck. I know that my cardiologist, my cardiologist. I don't have high blood pressure I don't have high cholesterol. That's amazing. It's incredible I don't understand it and my cardiologist was like I'm the best cardiologist in the country you don't need me Canada

Yeah, it's yeah, okay They're fucking big slave labor. No You get paid loonies they get loonies they hundreds of millions of loonies. They get loonies. They get hundreds of millions of loonies. She definitely has a Range Rover. She's doing fine. You know, and dude, when I, it was so funny. The thing about healthcare in America

versus Canada, perfect example. I break my foot in LA. I break my foot in LA. I break three metatarsals on the top of my foot. How'd you break it? Slipped off a curb. And my foot got stuck almost on the curb. And the way that I compressed or fell, it snapped the three metatarsals. Ah, yeah, yeah.

Because in LA, the curbs are high because of the water. In Canada, our curbs are shorter. So my agility, we have great drainage, sandy soil. And my fucking, I was like literally, it was the stupidest thing. I fell down like a baby. I was like a turtle laying in the middle of fucking Melrose. I was like Melrose and Myrtle. And I was like at my homie.

You do not want to be hurt on Melrose these days either. No, bro. It's like a Mad Max movie. Dude, it's crazy out there right now. Isn't it weird? Dude, I did a photo shoot. I'm doing this thing, and I had to do a photo shoot, and they wanted to do it just on Hollywood Boulevard.

Yeah. And I was just like, yeah, let's go. Let's do it. And it was just, it was like. You might as well be on Skid Row. Yeah, it's there, but it's, fuck it, whatever. So you broke your foot. So I broke my foot, Joe.

So all this gym that you have set up, you haven't used it, but you set it up. It's the beef barn. You can call it the beef barn. Are you going to get a trainer? That's what you should do. So I have so many beautiful people around me, so many knowledgeable people around me. And that's the thing. I'm friends with like, because of like Pat from like Ruka and like the, I have access to so many amazing athletes now that like, they're all like,

let us know anytime. And, uh, you know, I just gotta, I gotta mentally get to that place. Just do it. Listen,

all this jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber, and too much about it. I know this is the same thing.

I said it was excuses, Joe. I know it i know this is the same thing i said it was excuses joe i know i know you did say it i said it i'll excuse you all day i know you will i i think we could help you i think we can make this push happen okay you're gonna produce i want to do a a movie no okay i'm busy i'm busy i'm not producing any movies don't produce a movie i'm not doing i'm just gonna do work anytime anybody says i want to do something with you no i'm not producing any movies. Don't produce a movie. I'm not doing shit. I'm just going to do work. Anytime anybody says, let's do this, I go, no. I'm not doing shit. Hunt. The Archery.

I'm not doing anything more than I'm already doing. What I'm doing is exactly what I'm doing. I have three jobs. I don't need any more things. Three jobs is a lot. That's a lot of stuff. It's a lot of stuff. One of them is pretty easy.

Yeah. You know? Which one's the easy one? UFC. UFC's the easy one? Yeah. That's pretty easy. Because I just have to watch fights

Is there any kind of prep? Or do you know everybody? There's too many fighters now I can't know everybody So what I do is Leading up to fights now I'll watch everybody that's on the card I'll watch some event they've been in

So you have something to talk about I want to know Maybe they have a tendency Maybe they Something that they're really good at. So you have something to talk about. Yeah. The kicks or their punches or something. I want to know. I want to be able to watch. Maybe they have a tendency. Maybe they have something that they're really good at. Some guys like Alexi Olenek, he's a really good grappler, but not the best striker. More plotting. Right.

So you see, oh, he's fighting this guy who gets very light on his feet. It's going to be a problem. I sort of piece together what I think would be situations that could possibly occur in a fight and what to look for. And that UFC that just happened, special UFC, right? Am I crazy? Was that just a special UFC? It was special in every way. It was special in that it had been a year since we had a full crowd.

And so literally the first fight these two girls were uh getting ready to walk to the octagon the lights went down and it was probably only like 25 capacity at that time they hadn't all showed up yet because it was early it was like first fight was like 6 p.m right um as soon as the lights went down everybody went fucking madhouse just yeah and we i took my headphones off and i looked around and and we were like whoa and me and john annick and daniel cormier look at each other like boys this is crazy and we took a photo there's a photo that's on my instagram of uh john annick megan olivi me and daniel cormier right before the fight started we were so happy We're like beaming it was just like it felt so great because We had been calling fights over the past year, but we had been doing it with no audience at the apex

And I like there we were so happy there like look at Megan. Yeah, that's mile. We were so happy It's just you know that's the pay-per-view crew. And we, also, we could do this. We could hug each other. And when we did the pre-fight stuff, we're talking about the bouts that are coming up. We're standing next to each other. Because before, at the Apex Center, we were like separated. And I couldn't interview the fighters

inside the octagon. It was all so weird. So you go from that to Florida. Florida's like, COVID is a rumor. COVID's a Florida. Florida's like, COVID is a rumor. COVID's a rumor. Right, right. They're like, yeah. It is what it is.

They'll figure it out. But I think their approach is healthier than California that acts like it's a demon and you have to be protected by the governor. Right. You know, like in this fucking guy who doesn't protect himself, doesn't even follow the rules. The guy who gets busted eating at the French Laundry indoors and lies about it. We were outdoors. With the Teddy Cruz motherfucker going to Mexico, a little Cancun brah.

Yeah, but that's not that bad. That guy was just trying to get away because the fucking state was frozen. I get it, maybe he should suffer with everybody else. He should have suffered a little bit. But that's not as bad. Maybe a couple bit. But that's not as bad. That's not as bad as telling people not to eat indoors and you eat indoors. Wear a mask in between bites of food.

He was telling people to do that. So it's like California's approach is way worse than Florida's approach. And Florida's approach is way better than Canada's approach, too. Canada's approach is ridiculous. They're arresting people for going to church. They have 200 cops showing up. That thing was crazy. That's insane.

It is, like, it's so sad because there's just, like, what do we do? Like, we're, it's so tough because we are, like, we want to take care of our staff at our businesses. And we want to, like, no one goes into our buildings. Like, no one, like like we all wear our masks We do everything that we can do and it's just like for how long and for how long do we have to do this for? If you're a government then show us the real plan of getting to that's nice. That's not what they're there for Yeah, they've never been there for telling you whether or not you can work You know why because they don't lose any money.

That money keeps going. It doesn't have any effect on them whatsoever. It doesn't have any effect on them whatsoever if everyone's out of work. If everyone's business crumples, they get the exact same amount in their paycheck. That's what's happening in California. Right. And this is like the difference between, unfortunately, because I'm liberal, but this is the difference between the way Republican states

handle things versus Democrat states. Democrat states are just, lock everyone down. We have to protect you. You can't go anywhere. You can't open up. You can't do this. And Florida was the most reasonable, believe it or not. This is how you know we're living in the upside down, where everybody's like, Florida's

great. I want to move to Florida. Everyone should just do what Florida's doing then. Florida's great. Florida's the best. I want to move to Florida. They should, everyone should just do what Florida's doing then. Let's rock. Florida was a joke. Florida was a joke just two years ago. Nobody wanted to be in Florida. You know, I just don't want to, it's one of those things. I'm still such a like, you know, I do want to just do the nicest thing.

Like in my mind, I'm like, well, what's the easiest, nicest thing? And I just want to like, if we're just going to wear masks, then wear masks. I don't know. Like, that's the thing is like, I am a little bit just And I just want to, like, if we're just going to wear masks, then wear masks. I don't know. Like, that's the thing is, like, I am a little bit just, like, I want to make sure people are safe. Locking, I don't think locking down does anything. It's worse. It makes things worse.

You know why? Because people go inside. They go inside. They're trapped inside. Dude, it's not good for people. That's where it spreads. And I just don't think it's good for humans. It's not good for your mental health.

The mental health is crushed. And that's not good for your immune system. And, you know, again, there's no fucking instruction on telling people how to get healthier because that's what's significant. The only thing they've done is given us a fucking mask. So if all we've given a mask is I'm like, it's one of those things where it's just like

if you go out of your house, then the variable is there. It doesn't matter how many interactions or how many things. If you've chosen to leave your house and leave a quarantine situation, then that's your decision to fucking rock. And I just think it's just like the thing about it is we just don't. It's still so early and it's so stupid and it's fucked up. You've got to give people personal freedom. You can't take that away from them

because then you're not what we signed up for. What we signed up for is elected officials who represent the people. You're not supposed to run the people and tell the people they can't work. And if you're saying you're doing it to protect them and it turns out not only does it not protect them, but it's less effective than letting them be free

and you don't course correct and you don't adjust, then you're a piece of shit And it turns out not only does it not protect them, but it's less effective than letting them be free. And you don't course correct and you don't adjust, then you're a piece of shit. And we have to take you out of office. That's what's happening in California. That's why they're recalling the governor in California. Are they getting him out of there? They're recalling him. Get him out of there.

There's another election. He'll probably wind up winning. But California isn't California. People are eating inside again now? They are now because he's being recalled. He opened everything up. He's like, everybody wants it, let's go. They're not showing the COVID science anymore. They're not showing the numbers anymore.

Because the numbers wouldn't be enough to indicate that they should open everything back up again. But when the governor's getting recalled, he's got to turn the fucking economy around. That's when things change. I just don't understand them, man. I don't understand them. Because it doesn't make sense. What was the tipping point for you to be like, I'm when things change. I just don't understand them, man. I don't understand them because it doesn't make sense. What was the tipping point for you to be like, I'm moving my family. Like, I'm moving the thing.

I saw where it was going. Yeah. I was like, they're telling us, first of all, they told us we're going to lock down for two weeks. And I'm like, well, that's really reasonable. Everybody will stay home for two weeks. But then after two weeks, it's like, we're going to keep going. And then it kept going.

It just kept going and nothing ever opened. And then they were saying, you can't go outside without a mask, which didn't make any sense because ultraviolet rays kill COVID. Like it doesn't make any sense. You shouldn't be able to run outside without a mask on. Like you're treating it like it's a demon. You're not treating it like it's a virus. And then it's just, I saw how other states were handling it.

I'm like, well, they're much more reasonable. They believe in personal freedom. And they also take into account the fact that people have businesses. You can't just let people's business go under because you tell them they can't work. You got to give people the option. People need to decide for themselves. And then once we got the numbers in, in terms of like what the disease was actually doing. Right.

Unfortunately, Maddie, 78% of the people that are in the hospital from COVID are overweight. That's the number one thing. The number one morbidity factor is obesity. That's number one. They don't say shit about that because they don't want to fat change. But everyone's obese. Isn't everybody obese? No, not everyone.

Oh. There's a lot of people that are not obese. Okay. The other, you know. 30%. Yeah. Okay. Well, 30%. know. 30%. Yeah. Okay. Well, 30%.

20%. 28%. 28%. Yeah. It's not a lot of people telling people to lose weight and be healthy, but they are telling you to stay home and be scared. The be home and be scared thing is not good. The internet's not good.

The fucking doom scrolling's not good. The mental health isn't real. Like the sadness? The cloud of sadness? Oh my god, the suicides. The cloud of sadness is not great. And it's not... There's a lot of despair. We're in unprecedented times.

We're just in unprecedented times. Yes, we're in unprecedented times. And there's a bunch of different ways to handle it. But the thing that drives me crazy and that drove me crazy and got me out of California was I was looking at the way some states were handling it, and I was like, that makes more sense. And I was looking at how California was handling it. They're representing it the way you want to live.

Well, they were doing it in a more effective way because their case numbers were lower, but they had more freedom, and the economies were way better in those states. So even though people were catching COVID everywhere, every fucking state had COVID, right? In the states where they were open, the businesses were staying open and there wasn't a significant difference in terms of like these states, the businesses are open, but look, way more people are dying. That wasn't the case.

Yeah. In fact, Florida has less deaths. Let's go Florida. They have less deaths. They have less COVID and they have more old people. It doesn't make any sense. They got lots of old people. If you look at it deaths, they have less COVID, and they have more old people. It doesn't make any sense. They've got lots of old people. If you look at it statistically, but they have hot weather and they have sun.

So they're outside in the sun. And it's better for you for vitamin D as well. There you go. Vitamin D is important. It's fucking huge. It's a hormone, man. I love it. I suntan. I like suntanning. Well, that's guaranteed. That's good for you. Do you like suntanning? Do you suntan? I go outside.

Suntanning is like jogging, I feel. If I lay down, I's guaranteed. That's good for you. Do you like suntanning? Do you suntan? I go outside. You go outside. I don't suntan. I don't lay around. Suntanning's like jogging, I feel. If I lay down, I'm sleeping. Yeah. Yeah. You only lay down when you sleep.

Yeah. Incredible. I don't know where to go from there. I'm just like, that's it. Oh, my God. The good thing is I can sleep anywhere. I can sleep on a moving train. I'll just lie down and pass out.

I can fall asleep instantly anywhere, but maybe that's just because of the gravity pulling my soul. But I'm saying I don't suntan, no. No. I like to suntan when I garden. If I'm on vacation, I'm at the beach, I'll have a couple of margaritas. Where does Joe vacation? I enjoy Hawaii. Hawaii's great.

That's my favorite place. Which island? I like all of them, but I like Lanai because no one's there. Right. And you can bow hunt at night. So you know what we do? Night vision? No, no, not at night.

In the afternoon. Okay. Because it's windier then. Okay. It's easier because you're sneaking up on these axis deer, which are very wily. They ruffle your noise. Yes. Yes. It's easier because you're sneaking up on these axis So you can hear the leaves, they ruffle your noise Yes Axis deer are super fucking tuned in Because they evolved to get away from tigers

They're the fastest deer I've ever seen in my life The axis deer is the ones where you went hunting With the man eater guy Or the meat eater? No, that's Steve Rinella I didn't go hunting for axis deer with him No, I've been hunting with him before For white tail deer Where was the one where you were in a mountain range? Like a little mountain, like a hilly go hunting for axis deer with him. No? No, I've been hunting with him before for white-tailed deer.

Where was the one when you were in a mountain range? Like a little mountain, like a hilly, kind of almost desert-y. Oh, that was Nevada. Nevada, okay. But was that axis deer or am I crazy? No, that was mule deer. Mule deer. Yeah. Axis deer are, they're roaming around Texas, the ones that didn't die from the

freeze-off. Right. Like, I know a guy whose friend owns a ranch and he had 2,000 axis deer freeze to death. Wow. Just stacks of deer. 2,000. That's like a concert full of deer. Yeah. That's a lot of dead deer.

You just put that in a freezer and then you butcher them up? I don't know how they handled it. I imagine they did that. I would hope so. I would hope so, too, because axis deer are really delicious. But anyway, Lanai's great because we would go, and you could stay at the Four Seasons. And then in the late afternoon, you go on bow hunt. Bow hunt.

We used to do it in the morning. But the thing about it in the morning is it's so quiet in the morning. They hear you. Yeah. I've been successful in the morning. I bet you're stealthy. Yeah, you have to be. You take your shoes off.

On your toes. You take your shoes off. Yeah, no barefoot. First time I went to Oahu, the grass on the feet was so nice. It is nice. And I still want to do some wild boar hunting there. I really want to do some. Well, if you want to go wild boar hunting, here's the spot right here, Alson.

Texas. Right here. Texas. John Hesse, that dude who was here earlier. Yeah, yeah. John Hesse was telling me that between Houston and I forget what other spot, it's apparently like this insane wild boar area where they mostly hunt them night with night vision goggles and rifles. Dude, I remember my dad had a fucking VHS tape called Ferocious Tuskers.

And it was a bowing knife wild boar hunting video. The dogs? So the dogs bite them? The dogs. And they would climb into their burrows or whatever, their dens or whatever. And it was so scary. And there was a bunch of little freaks running around. But it was a VHS tape that we used to watch. It was the wildest thing.

But I think, man, cooking that, I cooked a wild boar over some coals for a bunch of surfers, and it was, like, incredible. Dude. Like, cooking right on the, like, pipeline. We should do something. We'll film something like that for your show. Let's go. I don't do stuff.

I don't do stuff. I'm busy. I have six jobs. I have six jobs. That's what you just said. What do you mean? You just asked me to do something? For your show.

Okay. I said for your show. Okay, for my show. That's what I said. Okay. I thought you wanted to, you were picking me a new show. I thought you said for our show. No, no, no. For your show. Okay. I said for your show. Okay, for my show. That's what I said. Okay. I thought you wanted to, you were pitching me a new show. I thought you said for our show. No, no, no.

For your show. Joe and Maddie. No, you have a cooking show? Yeah. Yeah. Well, how about we get a wild boar and cook it for your show? That's all I'm saying. Okay.

You got so aggro on me. Well, no, because I asked you about the movie and then you came at me, Joe. I don't even think you asked me about a movie. I think you talked to me about a movie and I said I was saying everything. No, not a movie, like a miniseries, like me doing different martial arts. And then I lose weight. It's like a documentary

on me becoming whatever. Who cares? Just work in silence. Get up early, set the alarm, write down a list of things that you do. Burpees. I hate burpees. You don't have to do those. I don't want to do burpees. You don't have to do those. I don't want to do burpees. You don't have to do those. I like doing Bulgarian split squats. Oh, those are good.

I'm a Bulgarian split guy guy. Okay. I like doing deadlifts. I like doing a lot of towel work with grip strength. Okay. I like doing, I'm like, I have a good friend, shout out to Ben Dussault. He does a lot of like breath work and like resistance training training and just holds and stuff like that. Really intense buddy stuff.

You know, if you just do some cardio with a movie on, here's the thing, man. I got a Peloton. I bought the Peloton. Pelotons are great. Bought a Peloton. Can I get another one? Those are so good. They used to be a sponsor back in the day.

They used to be. We had a Peloton at the old studio. Wow. The thing about Pelotons that's so great is you're going along with people. Like you're watching a video and you're going along with actual people. Yeah, they're just talking about like ex-wife stuff.

It's incredible. Well, they're fucking getting after it and you're getting after it with them and you get carried up in the momentum. Super effective. I was eating a pizza watching my roommate do it. You can't. That doesn't help.

But one thing that does help is watch a movie and get on like an elliptical and just put a movie on. Just put on Predator? Yeah. Put a movie on that's enjoyable. Crank it up loud so you hear it over the sound of your voice.

Yeah. And just get on an elliptical and watch the movie. It's a great way. The elliptical's great, right? Fuck yeah. I love the elliptical. It's so low impact. I love an assault bike.

Yeah. Love an assault bike. I love assault bikes. I love assault bikes. But assault bikes are not casual. And they're really loud. It's hard to watch movies. I like doing like 30 seconds. Oh, bike. Yeah. Love an assault bike. I love assault bikes. I love assault bikes. But assault bikes are not casual. And they're really loud. It's hard to watch movies. I like doing like 30 seconds.

Oh, bursts? Yeah. I do bursts. When I did it. When I do Tabatas. See, I've started and stopped, I would say truly, like four times. So maybe it's like the addict thing. Like you just need to just decide.

No, I think I honestly, I'm mentally getting there. Where I got the, I'm like honestly am mentally getting there. There's no other excuses now. The thing about it is you can talk about it until the end of time, and that's what people love to do. You just have to do it. The only difference between doing it and not doing it is doing it, Joe. Holy shit, that should be on a fortune cookie. It's a saying. It's a good saying.

That should be in a meme. It's a meme saying. On someone's meme page. Do you have a meme page? I bet there's a Joe Rogan meme page. There's all the pages. How many different pages are there for Joe? There's a lot of fake ones.

I know that. So many fake losers. But I'm just saying that just for activity, when you watch a movie with an electrical machine or something like that, it's like it's not even happening. No, you're just there. You're in the movie and you're doing 40 minutes of exercise. Just walking. Walking's great. Walking's great.

Walking's great. Breathing. Movies get you jazzed up. Sometimes you get excited about, like if you watch John Wick, that's my favorite to watch. John Wick, just breaking arms? He's the new Steven Seagal, right? He's shooting people more. He's more shooting people.

Yeah, he does break a few arms. I love a Steven Seagal arm break, like an elbow break. He's always just snapping. Yeah, that shit's the best. Dude, Above the Law? That's still a great fucking movie. Go back and watch Above the Law? Was that the one where Sharon Stone was in it? Hot as the sun?

Back in the early days of Sharon Stone? Wasn't she in that? What was the movie where she moved her legs? Wasn't Sharon Stone in that? Sharon Stone's still so hot. Pam Grier is in that. Pam Grier is in Above the Law? But Sharon Stone was in one of those movies. She was in one of the early Steven Seagal movies.

And she was hot. Marked for death. Perfect film. Hot is the sun. Mmm. Just early days. Like a hot, sweet, chili heat Cheeto. Wasn't it Sharon Stone? Yeah. Why didn't she, her name didn't come up when I typed it in? Because she was a small character. Wow. Yeah, Steven Seagal was the shit and she was the-

She was a new one. She was just his- Hot, hot, and in Hollywood. New to Hollywood. There she is. Oh. Back in the dizzay, son. Look at that.

He's out there doing Aikido and she's looking spicy. Aikido. She's looking spicy. Is he real? He's very good at Aikido. He's very good at Aikido. He's very good at Aikido. Yes. Aikido, how does, not a lot of Aikido going on nowadays?

Listen, Aikido is good if no one knows anything. Right. If the other guy doesn't know shit and you know Aikido, it's good. Yeah. But the reality of Aikido is it's designed to disarm someone with a sword. It was an art for, like, when you're a samurai. Right. And the, like, this. Let's see a samurai. Right. And the sound like this.

Let's see your samurai. This is Miyamoto Musashi. Miyamoto Musashi. He's a famous Japanese samurai from the 1400s. Okay. And he killed 62 I think 62 men in one-on-one combat.

Yeah. And he wrote a book called Go Rindo Show, The Book of Five Rings. Wow. And it's all about strategy. And I read it when I was a combat. Yeah. And he wrote a book called Go Ridden No Show, The Book of Five Rings. Wow. And it's all about strategy. And I read it when I was a kid. Yeah. I was obsessed with this guy when I was a kid because when I was fighting, I was always looking for something to give me some sort of a psychological edge.

Right. And his book was all a book. And I was like, who better to teach you about psychology of fighting than a guy who beat 60 men in fucking sword fights and wrote about it those were strong swords Well he wrote about it in a really fascinating way his approach was that in order to be a great Sword fighter in order to be a great samurai you have to be balanced you have to be an artist you have to be great at Calligraphy you have to get a poetry you have to have all your shit together. You can't be all ego. The five ranks. Yeah.

His thing was, and this is one thing that he said that I always bring up that applies to everything I think in life. Once you understand the way broadly, you see it in all things. Right. And he felt like doing all those things in some way was like cross training for life. Yes. Like doing art and swordsmanship and and learning i love that all these different things yeah so it wasn't like you would think

you just got to be the meanest fastest baddest motherfucker and that's how you beat all these people his approach was not like that you need to know how to like trim a tree or grow a flower you had to be in control of your ego you had to be artistic and you had to be in control of your ego. A haiku. You had to be artistic and you had to be in control of you in all ways, not just in the hard way, but in the soft way. You had to be able to be outside of yourself. That's incredible. Yeah. So that's my dog.

Yeah. That's a good dog to have. Well, I've always been obsessed by Japanese culture, period. But his book was just like a a massive influence on me when I was a kid what how did I bring that up what was I talking about before above the law Steven Seagal from Steven Seagal to

somebody who's killed 62 people well Aikido was designed for like if a samurai was in a sword fight and the sword would go flying and the guy was coming at you with a sword you had to be able to take his energy and use it against him. That was the idea of Aikido. Aikido was not really designed to be the best one-on-one fight style.

That's why the Japanese had karate and judo and jiu-jitsu. That was what they used all those arts for. Aikido was pretty much specifically designed. The art of taking away a weapon. Yes, it was designed to to disarm someone but Steven Seagal was a legit a Kido master like absolutely 100% legit in fact he was the first American to run a dojo in Japan Wow fluent Japanese and if you look at that yeah man I didn't know that I think there was I think it's Michael Eisner or one of those guys decided to make him a superstar and to

put him into movies and make him a star. Did he start doing the stunt stuff first? No, he just did Above the Law. Above the Law was his first movie. It came out of nowhere. You ever see him run? No. What do you mean?

The way he runs is the weirdest. Does he have like little, he does like a thing? He's got the weirdest fucking run. People make fun of his running. It's a good running. Well, he's a tall guy. It's like a Will Ferrell could do a good running. Oh, Steven's a good running.

Look, look. It looks like he's running. Oh, fuck. What's his arms doing? I don't know exactly what's happening. Is that good for his arms? Well, it's not the worst running, but there's something about the shortness of the movement. But I think it's because he's so used to using his arms for Aikido. He keeps them tight

There's just a weirdness to the way he runs. He looks like he's rowing. Yeah, he does this. He does that. He looks like he's doing nunchucks But I think he's like revving up the engine. There's a whole YouTube video. It's like speed walker. He runs like a speed walker. You're totally right. That's what it is. He runs like a speed walker. Look at him running up the hill. Dude, hiking? Well, he's got little baby steps. For a guy with such long legs, he takes little baby steps. Little baby steps.

A lot of little fast steps go. Yes. Yeah. But as an Aikido master, pull up video of him doing Aikido in Japan in the 1980s. Oh, my god. Yeah. What about stick fighting and that Jeet Kune Do stuff? Eskrima. Kali. Yeah, that's legit. I mean, it's certainly... Have you done any

weapon fighting stuff? I've learned how to do it in classes. Right. Someone's taught me how to do some sort of Kali and Eskrima, but not. I'm a white belt of that stuff. I don't really know much about it. With Jiu Jitsu, you're like full black belt. I have a black belt in gi jujitsu, and I have a black belt in no-gi jujitsu.

Right. I have a black belt from John Jock Machado in the gi and Eddie Bravo with no-gi. Okay, cool. And I had a black belt in taekwondo. Taekwondo. Taekwondo. I took taekwondo when I was a kid. I gave up.

It's good for kids. Like the little kids throwing kicks and punches at each other. I want to get my kid into that. I bought him like a punch ball, like a punch thing. Mac loves it. He puts the boxing gloves on. Okay, 93. Great. Perfect. So this is right before he became famous. Or it might have been like right around when he was becoming famous. And this is in Japan.

This is in Japan. And I'm telling you, dude, if you watch any kind of legitimate Aikido demonstration, he is as good as any you'll ever see. He's absolutely legit. I love it. See, the thing is, most of this shit is not going to work in the real world. Right. It looks like those videos of those people just doing the flips.

This isn't the best one. There's some from his dojo. Hip check. This is just a demonstration. But he's like six foot. These people are like five foot versus like a 6'5 guy. Well, it's, you know, traditionally Japanese folks are thought to be of smaller stature.

Except for a few, there's a few odd guys that are really giant. But he's just throwing this dude around clotheslining him and shit. But I'm telling you, he's a legit Aikido master. Right, right. And I mean, he's a silly man in a lot of ways. Right. A lot of his stuff is silly, but I'm telling you he's a legit Aikido master right right And I mean he's a silly man in a lot of ways right a lot of his stuff is silly But when it goes to his okay here. He is now this is him, and that's his master This is him in his dojo in Japan see he's significantly younger here

So this looks like it's like we're shot in like the 1630s or something well as someone Probably fucked with it to try to make it look. Look at that. Like all that shit. This is all legit stuff. He's like, come at me, come at me. See, that's much better. That's a thing. But see how he just did that? The guy came at him with a knife and he disarmed him. That is the whole purpose of

Aikido. Right there. That was what Aikido was designed for. And this is legit. Like the way he's doing it, this is legit. This is about as legit an application of aikido as you're ever gonna see because that is literally exactly what it's designed for and he is masterful at it what is the oldest martial art they don't really know it may be kung fu yeah I don't really know right you know it's so hard to see because it's like you know you can there's some ancient drawings of of people doing some sort of kicking and punching and China is probably the

birthplace of most martial arts right because it's probably the oldest culture but Japan refined it right Japan took like it's like it's maybe before Brazilian jiu-jitsu 100% no no jiu-jitsu? Yes, 100%. No, no. Okay, so it did start in Japan. Yeah, Count Maeda came to Brazil in the early 1900s, and he taught Carlos and Elio Gracie. They took Brazilian jiu-jitsu, or they took jiu-jitsu and turned it to Brazilian jiu-jitsu. They refined it and made it much more about leverage and much more about technique, and they concentrated more on the ground. Like, Japanese jiu-jitsu has a lot of throws in it.

It's almost like it's like Niwaza from judo, which is like the ground fighting of judo. Right, right. But the Brazilians took jiu-jitsu to a whole new place, and they completely changed the art form. Right. But they learned it from Japanese, from Count Maeda, and there's a guy named Kimura who came to Japan. Kimura. Yeah, he came from Japan. Kimura is a Kimura.

That's where it came from. That submission came from him using that submission on Elio Gracie and breaking his arm. Wow. Yeah, you can watch the match. It's a black and white match from the early 1900s. Crazy. Where Kimura, who is much bigger than Elio. See, Elio was a small guy.

He was like 147 pounds. Okay. And he was going against these guys who were like 200 pounds. Wow. And he had to use leverage, and you had to wait until they got tired. He would wear them out and then eventually catch them in submissions. That was his thing. Wow.

That was his thing. Right, right. But it's like martial arts have gone through this crazy evolution. And then Thailand, they had a totally different evolution. They figured out kicking the legs, and they figured out a much more effective style of kickboxing. And then they figured out a style where they gambled on it. So they had all these people in a ring. And then they had everyone around.

They would be, like, making bets. Muay Thai is banana town. It's bananas, man. It's wild. Carnage? Do you know fucking Carnage? Oh, yeah. Corbett.

Nathan Corbett. Yeah. Man. Yeah. So you can just say his nickname and I know him. I'm just like, Carnage. You know Carnage, Nate? Yeah. Psychopath. Psychopath. Nathan Corbett Yeah, yeah So you can just say his nickname and I know him I'm just like Carnage, you know Carnage, Nate? Psychopath, psychopath Dude, I met him

Once again, like through the Ruka dudes And it's just like Watching his highlight reel I'm sitting with this guy, so once again I love that I don't really know too much So that you can meet people on these genuine These good starting grounds so I'm like

First time I went to Hawaii I cooked for everybody for Ruka and surfers and MMA people and like all these people are there I'm like, I don't know who anybody is. I don't know Kelly Slater is I don't know who fucking shout out to my boy Kelly There you go. Bring to the ranch. Get me on a 14. I need a sup or something Bring me to the ranch, okay? What ranch? Doesn't he have the surf ranch? Oh, okay. Oh, any ranch. I'll go to any ranch.

I'll go to any ranch. I thought we were back to the wild pigs. Anyway. I'll bring the wild pig to the surf ranch. Anyway, but I'm sitting across. Anyway, we're literally just hanging out. I'm just like, what do you do? I'm just like, I love going to Australia.

I've been to Australia like seven times. Got a big, you know, a good crew down there. And he's just like, I love, because I was like, I love going to Australia. I've been to Australia like seven times. Got a big, you know, a good crew down there. And he's just like, oh, man. He's like, I'm like a Muay Thai kickboxer. I was like, oh, crazy. I was like, oh, yeah, your face is kind of, okay. I can see. Yeah, I was just like, okay. Nose a little busted up. And he was just like, yeah, check out my little

highlight reel. Yeah, he cuts a lot of guys up. Bruh, his elbows? Oh, yeah, that was his famous for. He fought in glory for a bit, but the thing about glory is they don't allow elbows. Man, it is so vicious. And I'm sitting across the table from this guy, and I watch this thing, and you're just like, oh, you're an 11-time world champion sitting across from me talking about bullshit. And I was just like and I was just

like oh you're a psychopath well he's a competitor yeah he's a champion yeah he's a champion well champions are most of them are psychos yeah right like you have to like I remember at a young age my dad teaching us how to like box a little bit and fight and I remember he he always would say he's like punch to like through the face he like, you want to punch like, you want to like extend through the face. Yeah. He's like, think about like punching the back of their head. Yeah. And, you know, shout out to Big Steve.

That's what Kamaru Usman did to Jorge Masvidal this weekend. I mean, he punched through his face. It was a perfect example of that. The chin into the shoulder. He put him to sleep. He put him to sleep. But the way he hit him, he went through him. Yes. I mean, that was probably. A train. That chin into the shoulder. He put him to sleep. He put him to sleep. But the way he hit him, he went through him. Yes.

It was probably... A train. That's a freight train. That was probably the best one-punch knockout I've ever seen in my life. Was that the first strike? No. No, no, no. It was the second round. It was the second round. Okay. I think. I was in bed. I was in bed. Yeah. It was a perfect punch.

If you wanted to Google the perfect punch. That is the perfect punch. That's a perfect punch. Like the, if you wanted to Google the perfect punch. That is the perfect punch. That's the perfect punch. And then what about Rose? Rose's kick. It's a perfect kick. Perfect kick. Perfect kick.

Yeah. Perfect. Didn't see it coming. Landed right in the jaw. Put her out. First round. Early in the fight. And not only that, a woman in that lady, Zhang Weili, who's thought to be the most durable

and physically aggressive girl in the sport. She's a monster. You ever watch that lady train? No. Oh my god. You want to feel lazy? Watch Zhang Weili train. It's like, hot, hot, hot, hot! All day. Oh my god.

Just the intensity and the physicality. She's so strong and aggressive. She's all sinew. She's all sinew. For Rose to kick her in the face like that. That interview with Rose after the fight was the first time I ever openly cried while I was interviewing somebody. Tears were coming down my face.

I couldn't stop it. It's real. Rose is special. She's special. Rose is special. She's a super sweet person, too. She is. I couldn't believe it.

She's one of those people that she followed me me on instagram like years ago and i dm'd her and i was just like why do you like sometimes i'm like amazed i'm just like why do you fall like is this like you or is this like a thing and she was like i love your videos you make me laugh me and my husband like love watching your your videos i was just like crazy i was, this is amazing. Do you have imposter syndrome sometimes where you don't believe it? 100% every day. Are you kidding me? I do too. Every day. Why am I here? Yeah. Why are you here? Dude, why are we all here? I don't know.

When you DM'd me, I was in a quarantine situation getting back into Canada. And I'm laying in my bed, and you DM'd me. It was about midnight, my time. And I got back in my bed, and you DM me. It was about midnight my time. And I got back from L.A., and I was so stoked. I did Tiger Belly.

I did Whiskey Ginger. And I was just like, man, I'm fucking doing big podcasts. And I'm like, everyone, I'm friends with these dudes now. And I'm so stoked. Santino's been such a good friend. And Bobby is such a fucking homie. I love both those guys. And Santino's here tomorrow.

Dude, incredible comic. Incredible person. He's a great friend. He is fucking funny. He's really funny. He's fucking, I really like watching him fucking do stand-up. And when I got that DM, I was like, what? And it is like one of those things where you're like, huh, crazy. And then I'm like getting pumped up, like coming down here. I'm getting things where you're like, huh, crazy. And then I'm getting pumped up, coming down here.

I'm like, okay. It's like you're getting ready for a fight. You're like, I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do that. And then I'm going to say this joke. And then I'm going to rev him up. And then I'm going to grab his nipples. And then I'm going to get him to fucking talk about my podcast on his podcast. And then I'm going to do all these things.

And I'm like, I'm going to talk about how I did jujitsu once and we'll get there and I got tired out the shrimps the shrimps got me just doing shrimps was like tough on the big dog did you shrimp on the ground I was doing shrimps on the ground and I was just like I was in Philly I was in Philly with some dudes you know Mark Vetri and those guys out in Philly Italian chef great chef. He just became a black belt with precision out there. He's teaching you how to shrimp? Well, we were doing like a chef conference with like a bunch of, not a chef conference, but like an event, Alex's Lemonade Stand. Oh, okay.

So we were doing like a big cancer for kids thing. And he was like, hey, open call. Anybody that wants to come do jujitsu, we do it every morning. And I was just like, okay, I'll go like 6 a.m. Like I want to try this. And I went. And we took a – it was so funny. I was just like warm up.

I was dusted. And then I got a gi on. The gi barely fits me because obviously they don't have any large gis because they're all in shape. And then the one guy – it was so funny. There was no belt set for me. So the one guy had this big purple belt. And he gave me like a purple belt. and so we took a photo after the thing and my instagram was like you're a purple belt we knew it maddie and they're like and so many people were just like oh my god they're

like and then some people were like there's no way this guy's a purple belt and like it was just like and then i was just like i'm not a purple belt okay anybody but i did jjitsu there but Alex who do I do the pod he just became a blue belt and he's doing it at the undefeated gym in LA oh nice and so he just got his blue belt and we were talking about imposter syndrome he was just like because we always make fun he always says he's a tough white belt and so he's like but now I'm a shit blue belt you know so he's like it's always like that humbling moment and there's always like that humbling moment. And there's always like that moment in time where you're like, I don't, why do I deserve

that? He's like, I should have worked hard. I should be a better white belt to get that blue belt. Actually. He's like, I could still work harder at being a white belt to get that blue. And I think like, that is the thing where most of the time, like my brain is always saying, no, why do you have this? Why, why, why do you have, uh, you know, restaurants?

Why do you have this? Why do you have books? Why do you have all this bullshit? You don't deserve this. You're a fucking loser. And I'm just like, I'm not a loser. I'm not a fucking loser. I got to pump my own brakes, man, or pump my own tires, whatever the fuck I'm pumping.

But it's just like your gas. I'm all gas, baby. I pump my fucking, I'm gonna i'm pumping but it's just like your gas i'm all gas baby pump your gas i'm pumping my fucking i'm gonna rev up i'm gonna rev up you want to rev up let's get some more fucking black rifle i think we are revved up we're revved up what's going on joe how are you today i'm good i think that's the reason why you have that yeah sure thank you i think the reason why you have that feeling that imposter syndrome Most sane people that become successful do have that right, you know because it doesn't make sense Especially like when you're young you never thought you'd be successful and then all sudden you are you like is this even real I? Remember I

Wanted to get to a financial point Where I didn't want to check my bank app to fill up my gas. That was a big moment in my life. Me and Greg Fitzsimmons. You know Greg Fitzsimmons? I don't. Hilarious stand-up comic. We started out together, and one of the things we always talked about was that one day we

would get to a place where we could pay our bills with comedy. That's all we wanted to do. We wanted to be professionals. Imagine you didn't have to have a regular job. You could just pay your bills with comedy. Oh, I remember thinking that. Well, comedy, you don't even get paid, right? Until you're like, what, a headline?

Like, do you get paid for five minutes? Yeah. Well, you get a little bit, depending on which club it is. You know, it depends on where you're at. Like, clubs in New York, they'll have people do shorter sets. And clubs in L.A., sometimes you do 15. So you make like 25 bucks at the comedy store if you do 15. But if you do... That's incredible. It's bucks at the comedy store if you do 15.

But if you do- It's incredible. It's ridiculous, yeah. Buck a minute. Buck 25 a minute, right? You know, there's a different- To go up there and just die on stage. It's a different thing because it's a place where, like the comedy store in LA was always our gym.

It's a place where we worked out. So it wasn't really about making money. We'd make our money on the road. Right. But when you go on the road, you know, if you're lucky You'll you get a guy who's a headliner. He'll take you with him on the road So like say if you're starting out and you're a host or an opening act someone will take you with them and then they'll let you they'll say hey just do 10 minutes and then bring up the middle act and

Then you'll get to watch the middle act and go someday someday I'll be the middle act and then one day you're the middle act and you watch the headliner and like someday and then someday one day you're the headliner and then one day people are actually coming to see you and one day they introduce you and people cheer and you're like what is this real the cheering's crazy right bizarre dude I what two years ago two years ago I guess now um I started doing like a spoken word tour. Oh boy. Or Dane did a lot of those. He loved doing those. Once again, very afraid to go to those.

You know? I was like, I'm going to, yeah, fuck. He's such a beauty. And, you know, I was like, I'm going to go on stage and I want to start doing tours. And nobody even knew what the fuck they were. And I started like, I I started in small bars. And by the end, I did about 50 shows in a year. And it was great.

It went from 200 people, which is still amazing. No openers, no nothing. People thought I was going to do cooking demos. And I went on stage and did a spoken word for about an hour and a half. Wow. Did you plan it out no really first night was the first night I spoke on stage no planning no fucking notes how many people in the audience 200 wow it was maybe more probably more it was a sold out the whole thing was sold out it was just the smaller venues we started at small venues to amp up was it what does it feel like like how did you start I was just like I venues. We started at small venues to amp up. What does it feel like? How did you start?

I was just like, I walked out. I was like, you fucking, like I just started like chirping the crowd a little bit and like working the crowd and being like, where the fuck are you from? I'm like, I'm in, my first show was in Boston in this like little dive bar. And it was so incredible. I was just like, what the fuck is up with Boston? You guys are fucking all racist. You're fucking losers.

You all sound like you're from Southie. I was just like, whatever, making jokes. And I and i was just like and then and then i was just like okay who thought i was gonna cook everyone's like this and i'm like why would i cook you stupid why would i cook what am i gonna do come on stage and make an omelet and share it with everybody i was just like no we're here to i'm here to figure out what the i'm doing here here to fucking i'm here to fucking figure out what the fuck i'm doing here and i and i honestly like we we built out by like show three i had a solid hour and a half really and and i just started and then i started doing it and the big i think i did like a 2000 cap room and it was like crazy wow and i was just like this is so wild i was like with no prep and i was like this is great

and i had a three-month tour booked one of the one of the part of the six months I had booked was I had a three-month world tour booked wow so I was doing so you're just gonna do this kind of stuff but do it all over the place yeah well I did Australia I've done Australia I did New Zealand I did you know now when you do 2,000 seats do you you have it prepared? Like the stories you're going to tell and the things you're going to talk about? No. We'll go on stage and I just start talking. That's so ridiculous.

I have a baseline that I work on and I go on and off. I have tangents that I can run off of. And I've built out this timeline of my life. And I tell these stories throughout my life. If you just tell the drug stories, I feel like. Bro, I have this one story that's incredible where we stole $16,000 from my parents, which they had some, my dad was an entrepreneur at one point, so we had a lot of money. And then, so I stole some money.

We gave it to my friend who drove to Vancouver, bought a pound of cocaine. Then. What? An uncut brick, one pound of cocaine. How much does that cost? It was $16,000. That's it? At that time.

This is like $2,000. Give or more. More? No, I was just going to say it sounded like it was about $16,000. Yeah, it's about $16,000. Yeah, he's like, it's about $16,000. Have you done coke? You've never done cocaine?

That's incredible. Because I find it very fascinating to meet people that haven't done cocaine. I haven't done coke. That's incredible because I find it very fascinating to meet people that haven't done cocaine. I haven't done coke. That's incredible. Have you? Never. Nope. See, I think that it's an interesting thing to me for some reason because I'm just like,

weird, you never wanted to fucking crack it. When I was in high school, one of my best friends had a cousin that had a real problem. Right. And I watched him fall apart from coke. It scares you. And I had a couple other people around me that also had coke problems. And I was back then like super straight edge. Yeah.

Like I'm going to be a winner. I'm going to get my shit together. Like my biggest fear, my biggest fear in life was being a loser. Yeah. My number one fear. It's the only reason why I went to college. Yeah. So that people didn't feel like I was a loser.

Stay home. Stay home, guys. I'm going to stay home for a summer. I'm going number one. It's the only reason why I went to college. Yeah. So that people didn't feel like I was a loser. Stay home. The stay home guy. I'm going to stay home for a summer. I'm going to take a year off. Not me. I did take a year off. Same thing.

I took a year off and that was a humiliating year. Whenever I would run into friends. Yeah, you were a loser for that year. That was the only year. Well, I was a loser after that too

because I was broke. Yes. Even though I was like, if I had to explain to people, like, what are you doing? I travel around the country kicking people in the face. Yeah. Like, there was no money in that. Yeah. I was broke. people, like, what are you doing? I travel around the country kicking people in the face. Yeah.

Like, there was no money in that. Yeah. I was broke. You're like, I'm getting paid nothing to go and fight people. No health insurance, and I was kicking people in the face for fun. That was my number one. And then I was like, okay, I got to figure out what to do with my life. But that fear of not being a loser was why I never did coke.

Because I saw this guy lose his life. He lost all his weight, got real skinny and pale, and him and his girlfriend just... Probably wasn't doing too did coke. Because I saw this guy lose his life. He lost all his weight, got real skinny and pale, and him and his girlfriend just... Probably wasn't doing too much coke. He was probably doing a little meth and stuff, too. There was no meth back then. No? Oh, yeah. It was the 80s. Nobody had meth in the 80s, unless they weren't telling anybody yet. I don't know.

There was some around in the 90s. They definitely had pills. People had amphetamines, for sure, but I don't think they had crystal. No. Yeah, drugs are bad, but the... Okay. But I had this bit about fucking... About the pound of coke. I'm sorry, I interrupted you.

No, Joe. We never interrupt. Okay. There's a pound. We got a pound of cocaine. What does it look like? How big is a pound of coke? It's like, you know, it's like a movie. It's like a thing. We had this like fucking... Like a movie scene? Yeah, it is. It's like a pack of fucking shit like a thing. We had this fucking pack of- Like a movie scene? Yeah, it is.

It's like a pack of fucking shit. So he had to go buy it. Then he had to drive back. And it was back when we had fucking flip phones. So like T9 texting and fucking Razor Motorolas and fucking shit. And so nobody could communicate. Still, even with that, communication was very shit. And so we were like, text us every day.

It's a four-day drive back from Vancouver. So text us every fucking day. Four days with a pound of coke. In his car door. In his car door. So he's like, unscrewed his car door, put the duct tape in. Oh, my God. And it's me and my friends in college.

We all got this like, whatever. Was he going the speed limit? Well, this is the best thing. So on the last day, he texts us. and he's like, I'm leaving Thunder Bay. Thunder Bay is about 18 hours from Toronto. So it's northern, most northern part, borders like Winnipeg, and it's like the northern part of fucking Ontario. 18-hour drive home, and we're like, it's coming home. And we're all like cheerleaders.

We're like, let's go. Let's go. Boys, boys. You know, we're all just cheerleaders. We're like let's go let's go boys boys. You know like just like we're all just like let's go And then and I the the amazing thing was all of a sudden. We're all getting ramped up We're like tomorrow. It's gonna be here. It's gonna be here fucking tomorrow. We're all fucking dropping out of college This is the gonna be the greatest decision of our lives. We just bought a pound of cocaine We're gonna but the idea was to sell it because we're gonna make like thirty thousand

We you know we step on it like three times, sell little baggies. We're going to get rich. And he texts us, just got pulled over. And we're just like, what the fuck are you talking about? And I was just like, we're going to have to kill him. Instantly, I'm just like, we're going to have to kill him. If he says my name or if he says, we're going to have our friend he's gonna rat on us he's not strong enough he's not mentally strong enough to get the fuzz off his back and he's like i just got pulled over then

we're like okay nobody text him because then they'll have our numbers and we're like why did he even text us we're like fuck we're all like freaking we're like do we like boil our phones what do we do here jesus christ then all of a sudden he's like, he calls our old roommate Dougie and fucking, he literally was like, dude, I got pulled over and there was like a snowstorm kind of, and my windshield wiper flew off and I was using my arm driving like half the speed limit and I got pulled over because the cop is now going to drive me to a garage so I can fix my windshield wiper. Good cop. And I was

just like, hey, okay, okay. Still got the cocaine in the car. He's like, cocaine's great. Just following this police officer to a garage to fix my windshield wiper. And I was like, why won't you just pull over? The windshield wiper's gone. You got the pound of cocaine. Why don't you bring it back to the fucking... Get off the road. You know?'s a snowstorm driving a 94 camry like what the

fuck is going on you know like it's just like one of those things and i was just like when he showed up we had this plan we were gonna have his name like like football painted on our bodies and we were gonna be standing out because where his parking spot was, his name, his name was Dustin. Did you have enough people? Yeah, we were going to have a welcoming party.

So we were going to have Dustin and we were all, we were on the second floor of this building right out at Islington and Dixon. Shout out to fucking Rexdale. And we're fucking, we were all going to line up. And then he called us about the cops and all this stuff. And we were all going to have up. And then he called us about the cops and all this stuff.

And we were all going to have Dustin. And he showed up. And it was the craziest. We did all the cocaine in about two weeks. And we didn't sell any of it. And none of us left. And I'm like, if you, in culinary school. So, so like everyone's pretty crispy, you know, like at that point you're just like, and it's pure cocaine. So you can like sleep on it.

What is it like to do pure cocaine? It was, so we broke off this little piece and I can still remember it. Like I remember everybody that was there, you know, I won't say their names because one of them works at the airport. You know, I won't say their names because one of them works at the airport. So I remember, man, and he broke off a piece and we took it and we it was like a rock and he just took it and like hit it on the table and just dust fell. And we made like fresh lines out of that. And we just did it.

And we were like, it was like it was a movie. It was like euphoric. It was like, this is a drug. See, this is a drug. The shit we're doing with like, with like laxatives and fucking stepped on 10 times. That's not a thing. This fresh cocaine. That's nice. That's what it should be.

And that's what it should be. Yes. Pure cocaine. Legal. It should be legal. All drugs should be legal. Who gives a fuck? All drugs should be legal.

All drugs. Drugs are perfect. Humans are the fuck ups. But the problem is when you're getting something, they call it cocaine and it's really a bunch of other shit. Like fentany perfect. Humans are the fuck-ups. But the problem is, when you're getting something and they call it cocaine, and it's really a bunch of other shit like fentanyl. Most of the time, I'm just shitting. If I look at a dollar bill, I'll take a shit.

You know? Man, I can smell it. Why do they put laxatives in it? I don't know, because I think you can snort it, and it burns your nose. I don't know, because cocaine doesn't really burn your nose either. I don't fucking know, man. Yeah. It's just, yeah.

There we go. That's the big, yeah. It's just white. It's the same consistency. They put vitamins sometimes too, right? Yeah. They're assholes. They're assholes.

And if you, you can't even test it, right? No. Because like, even like, even if you want to like cook it and like, you know, take it and like fucking freebase it or anything, it just turns to glue most of the time. Or even you get chunky, you can get chunky shitty Coke, and sometimes I would take a plate and put it in the microwave and heat it up, and then you pour the Coke on there and it'll dry it out kind of and make it more crispier and nicer to sniff.

This is too much information. A lot of people watch this, eh? Yeah, there's a few. God! Stop. My mom's going to be like, what the fuck are you talking about? Okay? She's like Maddie You're so sweet you figured it out anyways my Joni so sweet shout out to Joni love Joni. She's the best fucking ace a Pound of cocaine would land you in jail for a long time. I feel so yeah

Yeah, cuz they would assume that you're selling it A pound of cocaine would land you in jail for a long time. I feel so, yeah. Yeah, because they would assume that you're selling it. They would, not just doing it like a bunch of college students. Not just for personal use. It's personal use. But it's good that you didn't step on it. That's good. You maintain your integrity.

Yeah, that's the thing. I wasn't a drug dealer, but I lived with a couple drug dealers. And then it was so good that we were just like, this is crazy. We have the supply. We're like like this will last us like a year you know no it lasted us literally two weeks and then I get a phone call from my fucking my dean my head chef and he calls me and I was just like who's this number and I answer it and he's like Maddie and I was like yeah and he's like this is chef and i was like chef chef who like what chef he's like whatever his name was and i was just like oh my god chef hey how are you doing he's like what's going on you haven't been to school in fucking two weeks and i was like we got a pound of coke yeah and i kind of was just like you know i'm mentally fragile right

now chef and and and i don't really have anything, no fucking real breakfast in me anymore, and I, you know, is there any way that I can just come back? I've had a rough little couple weeks, and, you know, like, how can I get back in the program? And he's like, you know, we really like you, you've done

really well up until this point. He's like, come in and talk to us. I'm going to have all our chefs here, and we're going to assess. And you came in like Ray Liotta in Goodfellas looking for the helicopter. Just like so, yeah. Imagine me like just fucking, thinking I'm looking like real chill and professional.

Just showed up, haven't showered in like two weeks. Just like, hey chefs! Bloodshot eyes, pale skin. What's going on? Yeah, just like haven't been outside. A sheen of sweat over your whole body. Oh, mama mia. Man, I just smell like chemicals. I smell like bleach.

I smell like cum and bleach. Fucking so gross. And I walk in, all my chefs are there. And I was just like, and they're like, so what? Explain to us. And I was like, okay, here's the deal. We bought a pound of cocaine. They was like, okay, here's the deal. We bought a pound of cocaine.

They're like, excuse me? Me and my roommates bought a pound of cocaine and we've done it all. It's all gone. And they're like, excuse me? And I was just like, chefs, I need to come back to work. My parents,

you know, I need to finish this program and they're like you are telling us that you and how many people and I was like there's like a core group of four and then you know sporadically up to maybe seven we kept it tight and they were like

Maddie and I was like chefs and they're like you're gonna be a good chef one day and I was like, chefs? And they're like, you're going to be a good chef one day. And I was just like, what? And they're like, don't lie to us. And I was just like, I'm not lying. And I was just like, they're like. They thought you were lying?

Oh, yeah. They were just like, what are you talking about? And I was just like, well, okay, well, fuck it. You know, fuck it. And I was just like, well, I want to be a chef. You know, I got the chef whites here. I'm fucking, you know, how good, like, you can see me. I fucked up for two weeks.

Like, let me back in. I'll rock. You know, no questions asked. I'm like, because they lock the door at quarter to 8 a.m. So you have to be there at seven. You have to be a half hour early to like your fucking cooking class or they lock you out. And so they're like, OK, you miss one day you're out and then literally i was like no problem and they're like we're gonna let you back in this is unheard of

and stop like they're just like so sweet and i was just like and i had a good relationship with them and i was like it was like a very interesting cooking you know situation and and i was just like okay like i'm in i want to be a chef like because okay, I'm in. I want to be a chef. Because they were like, do you want to be a chef? Because if you don't, fuck off. And I was like, I want to be a chef. I want to go work in French restaurants. I want to

work on my skills. There's nothing else for me. This makes me feel happy. I am lucky that I have found something that I can do. I wasn't good at lacrosse. I wasn't good at skateboarding. I wasn't good at fucking anything. Now, I wasn't good at anything in high school. And now in college, I get fucking like 90s because I can fucking debone a quail, make a bordelaise. I can make hollandaise. I can make

a stock. I'm not an idiot. I i can hold the line i don't fall during service and you enjoy it and i love i love it cooking is i love i love it you can tell that's one of the things about your videos it's very infectious i love i love when people love what they're doing it's very infectious well because you can't i'm not an act like the thing too is like i'm not an actor right you know like i I'm like, I don't know how to be anything but this. I'm just a fucking, I'm this. And I was just like, I want to be a chef. I'm going to be a chef.

And they're like, okay. And it was amazing because literally I get back. I go back to school, take a shower, brush my teeth, get ready and shave my face. And then like two weeks later it's almost like the end of the year too and I fucking I just drop out to go on tour with like a metal band with my buddies like metal band and I like drop out and then like my punk because I was like you know when you're I feel like I got caught by doing drugs but then me being like punk I was like

all my friends like death metal band is touring Canada. They're like, do you want to come with us? I was like, yeah. Okay. That makes sense. I don't need a piece of paper. I don't need my diploma to say that I'm a chef. I learned everything.

What I'm going to learn in the last two weeks of this course. And so I ended up actually dropping out. And, and I felt like it's one of those things where I was just like, you know, I never talked to those chefs again. I never saw it. Like who sees their college student or, you know, I never talked to those chefs again. I never saw, like, who sees their college students, you know, who sees their teachers from college, really. And then years down the line, it's so incredible. My chef, Chef Anthony, I'll say his first name,

but Chef Anthony fucking hit me up on Facebook. He's this big Irish fucking red motherfucker, big Michelin psychopath. And he was just like, he like, whatever, he like Facebooked me or messaged me on Facebook when I still had like Facebook. And he was just like, I'm really proud of you. He was like, you have multiple restaurants. Like you fucking pulled it out. This is incredible. He's like, I remember who you were.

And he's like, to see your rise like in this city is like really incredible he's like there's no other chefs from your graduating class not that you graduated but there was he's like you're the one he's like just think of that like all of the chefs in that class in that in that fucking whatever that was you know whatever you call it a class or whatever there's like you are the one the one. And I was just like, that's so crazy. He's like, there's no other chefs. He's like, you are the only chef from that program. So no one else became a chef? No, they all just go into the thing and they get burnt or they get pushed out.

It's a tough thing. It's tough. It's like, I'm a tough white belt. How long does it take to become a black belt? Not that I'm a, you know, it is what it is. I'm more of a business person now. i'm not like technically i'm not the best chef but i'm definitely like i have well-roundedness i understand most chefs most great chefs are just great chefs they're not great operators or they're not great business people and a lot of chefs also aren't really like

they don't own the business right it's kind of ironic what made you big was not just your cooking skills but it was this big personality and this big personality which was originally connected to drugs and partying and then yeah you know that kind of like got you in the door yeah well there wasn't many doors i couldn't walk through you know there wasn't many doors I couldn't walk through. There wasn't many doors that I either kicked them down or I was welcomed with open arms. But it's still like- It is interesting that no one else from the class made it. Yeah. And I don't even mean that to- because I'm a firm believer of going to school. And I think going to school taught me that I liked school. I hated high school. I didn't like math or science or gym or whatever. English. You didn't like doing things you didn't

like to do. No, I was a very fuck you guy. That's the problem with a lot of kids is that they don't find a thing. They think that they're never going to be good at anything because they're not good at school because they're not interested in school. And then they find something they're interested in and they go, oh, that's not what it is. I'm not a loser. I just don't like what I'm doing. And most people don't use the tools that you learned in high school. Like high school is mostly just a social experiment, you know, for like building, keeping kids away from their parents and like doing stuff and building social fucking, you know, awareness kind of. But I think it's just like like the amount of things that I don't know like that like I I think the thing that clicked with my with going to cooking school was I realized what

self-esteem was I never felt self-esteem like that before where all of a sudden if I did if I showed up with my clean chef whites and I did what the chef said and I did my mise en place and I cooked a dish and I did everything to fucking the spec of what was put to me, I get a good grade. I was a 50 percentile student. I was always just, what do I have to do to pass? I was very much like, and I was funny enough in high school that I could work with my teachers on what do I have to do to just get through this shit? I'm not going to be a mathematician. I'm not going to be a teacher. I'm not going to be fucking anything that's going on in this fucking room you know and and i

think a lot of teachers even like we're like well you know i was one of those kids that they're like okay good luck with whatever the fuck you're gonna be doing too you know because i was a verbal you know i was like an asshole and i wasn't afraid to say fuck you to somebody or be like yeah send me to the office okay cool thank you or like fight with my vice principals and like all that kind of stuff like i was like in the office every day you know like a fun person yeah yeah i remember when i switched because i i got kicked out of my first high school for fighting and my older brother was a fighter too so they're like we're not dealing with another matheson you got to get the fuck out of here so then i went to a catholic high school and i remember like the first week i walked during like morning prayer,

I like was just like, and just like walked out of the room. Cause I saw like my homie walking down the hallway and I was like, yo, what's up? And I like just left during prayer. And I like the teacher, like almost like choke slammed me. And I was just like, what's happening? And they're like, it's morning prayer. And I was just like, no, I saw my butt. Like, I was just like in Catholic school was just another whole thing. Cause I was like, I was brought up, I was brought up Mormon. Really? So I was brought up Mormon. Your family's Mormon? Well, my family's Mormon, but we're all excommunicated. What happened? My dad got us all taken out of the thing. So it was just like, we were like deep, we were deep. And then when we move provinces, the church wasn't good here in Ontario.

So in Nova Scotia, big, big fellowship, Mormon world, you know? Then my dad was like a high deacon or whatever the fuck it was. We always sat next to the bishop's family, front row shit, because it's all like the families, whoever's up on the stage or whatever, the family sit in the front rows and shit. is like up on the stage or whatever like the family sit in the front rows and shit and so then when we moved to ontario i fucking you know uh like when we were about 12 13 right around like that time when we started all of a sudden doing like drugs and drinking is when we stopped going to the church because that's maybe a part of it too right where like we were like i never had a coca-cola i never saw a pg rated movie we only watched g-rated really i never saw the simpsons until i was you know like things like

that like we were allowed so once you got excommunicated from the church they just well we we took ourselves my dad i don't know if excommunicates the right word left the church we when we left the church but because they have so much information on you and your family like fucking family tree stuff like it takes a long time to actually get your like your shit out of there what do you mean like your infer like I think they just have like a lot of information on you and your families and they do a lot of ancestral stuff right so I think they do like a lot of and you you know the pen you got to give all it like even like I would get two dollars a week for my

allowance and I'd have to give 10% to the church. So we would all, me and my brothers, we would have to take our nickels or whatever, our dimes. Really? And we'd have to give our 10% to the church. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was training. Like, just think, like, that training of, like, giving the church the money from day one.

And all that kind of shit. So it was just like, and then, you know, my parents are like, they were young and it's great. They were like the, the young, the young couple that got knocked on. And my dad was like, come on in, like drink, like you want a beer? And, and all of a sudden my dad was just like, and it was one of those things where I'm like, why? You know, we were so like you, like when I found that out later on, I was like, you literally

just like somebody knocked on the, you let a missionary in here, you know, like where it's like so funny. How old were you when you were asking him that question? Like, like later, like in my twenties. Yeah. Like when I had like some balls to like, you know, dads are so scary. So I was just like, you know, like when I, huh? Yeah. Just why you're asking him why?

Yeah. Just like some, like where I was just like, you know, like he would come visit me in college and we'd go have like lunch, you know, my dad would drive up to the city and having those father-son kind of conversations. Like, hey, this was kind of crazy back then. Or like, why was this? Or like, why were we never allowed to sleep over at other kids' houses? Or like, little small things that I don't think are crazy. But I think it's definitely one of those things that, you know never having like coca a coca-cola

and then all of a sudden i'm like doing acid you know i'm all gas you know like it's just like i was like oh cool we're not mormons anymore let's do some blotter acid sometimes that's what triggers it right is the repression there's so much repression and then all of a sudden they take the reins off you well and the idea of heaven just like at a young age, I strongly felt like there was no heaven. And I strongly felt, I didn't believe it from a young age. Because I also, and there's three levels of heaven in the Book of Mormon, right? There's like the celestial, the fucking whatever, and the whatever. So I was just like, there's three levels of heaven.

There's like three levels of heaven. There's tears. There's tears, right? So the thing that I was, I was a kle, there's three levels of heaven. There's like three levels of heaven. So then there's tears, right? So the thing that I was, I was a klepto as a kid, I would like walk into like, you know, a little store and like grab a little thing. Like I remember I saw a jackknife once from like this, like, you know, hardware store. Like I would just like take things, you know, a little klepto in my head at a very young age.

I was like, I'm never going to be eternal with my parents at a very young age. I was like, my parents are like, you know, they did the whole thing with the underwear and they're married forever. And like, fucking underwear is wild. I think they had to give it back or they had to get rid of it. I don't fucking know. I don't know. Let's FaceTime Steve and be like, what the fuck?

So did you have to give the underwear back? I still don't understand. Like they have information on you. Like, why does that make it hard to leave? Because they tell you, Hey, we know things about you. Like you like no i don't think it's like weird like that kind of stuff i just think it was like just to get our shit out to be like stricken of the books right so you don't have to pay them every week and you don't have to pence or just like you or i think it's called pence but i think it's like once again there's probably a lot of mormons watching this

that are being like maddie doesn't know shit and doesn't know shit. And I don't know shit. Okay. I don't know shit. I just lived it. Right. But I just think it is. I remember it was just one of those things where I remember my dad and my sister, it was crazy because she had a child out of wedlock.

She's going to love that I say this, but she had like a child out of wedlock. And so that was like a thing where I think it was like I don't even know. I think there was like a thing where she got like a piece of paper saying she had to go in front of like a tribunal. Oh, boy. And like, you know, explain herself or she was getting or maybe she was getting excommunicated. I still forget. It's kind of fuzzy. But I think it was like one of those things where I remember when the missionary showed up and it was almost like they served her like papers or some shit.

And I remember my older brother almost like beat the shit out of these missionaries. Was like, get the fuck out of, you know, one of those kind of things. Like get off our porch, get the fuck out of here. Serving you papers. You violated. I don't know. Religion fucked. Like that's the thing is like, I don't like a lot of.

Well, that is the wackiest religion. It's the wackiest, right? I know. Of course I'm a part of it. It's like other than Scientology. I was baptized. It's the wackiest one. It's the wackiest, right? Yeah. I know. Of course I'm a part of it. It's like, other than Scientology. I was baptized. It's the wackiest one. It's the wackiest one, right?

Because they know the guy who made it up, and he was a con man. We used to go to the hill where he found the Book of Mormon, and they used to redo the event, and we would visit the jail where he was murdered. How old was he when they killed him? In his 20s? Isn't that wild? John Smith, right? John Smith?

Joseph. Joseph Smith. He invented it when he was 14 years old. Let's go. That's incredible. That's like now. That's like a TikToker. You know, everyone just follows TikTok.

Same shit. Well, I just can't imagine a 14-year-old that's not full of shit. Yeah. You know, like a 14-year-old that tells you a story like that and everybody's like, wow. He's like, let's go. You've met angels? Wow. What were they like?

They were beautiful? You have golden tablets? I love a golden tablet. With the last work of Jesus? Jesus. There was a guy that was a- Angels. I love an angel.

A Mormon. He was higher up in the church. He was a wealthy Mormon guy. And he decided he was going to do, this is back before 23andMe, way back in the day. He was going to sequence the DNA of Native Americans to prove they were the lost tribe of Israel. Yes. To prove that the Book of Mormon was correct. Turns out, no.

No. False. Yeah. Turns out they're from Siberia. Really? Yeah. Full circle. When the world was all together.

Well, they always thought that scientists and archaeologists thought that people came down from the Bering Strait, the Bering landmass. But there was also people that lived here as well. Yeah. See, there's a lot of confusion about that. They're not really exactly sure. They think for sure some people came here by boat, but they don't know when. They don't know how long ago.

The Anglos. No, not even the Anglos, man. Before the Anglos. Pacific Islanders were traveling thousands of years ago. Right, right. And they think maybe some of them made it here. And they think that for sure some people came across the bearing landmass.ering landmass, and they think that some people might have come up from South America, like the Olmecs.

Yeah, yeah. They don't know. They don't know. They don't know how long people have been here. There's a lot of guessing. There is. I appreciate the guessing. They can prove... There was a guy... What is it?

Kennewick Man? Kennewick Man? Kennewick Man. Is that it? There was a guy that they found. They found a body that had a spear tip or an arrowhead in the bones, like fused into the bone. And so they knew that this guy had been killed there. Right. And they knew that he'd been killed by, I think it was a Clovis point.

Wow. Right and they knew that he'd been killed by a thing was a Clovis point Wow But I think they did they carbon dated his body back to like 5,000 plus years ago and so they're like trying to figure out like was this oh that was the thing about this Okay, this where I heard about this this was on the meat-eater podcast Steve Rinell's podcast right and they had thought that he was An Anglo-saxon they thought that he was a white man based on his bone structure, which is nonsense. Right, yeah. It doesn't work like that. Bones.

And so as they started to do some examinations on his DNA, they found out, no, he was, in fact, of Native American ancestry. But they don't know, they really don't know when people got here. There's a lot of guessing. Until they find... That's what happens with paleontology. They'll find an old bone and they'll go, well, here's a human bone.

Now we push it back to 12,600 years. Okay, now we found a new one. Now we push it back to 14,000 years. I love that. It's wild shit. It is wild shit. Do you think they're going to know when they come? What's going on with the aliens? Well, we...

Let me... Fill me in. Okay? Mm-hmm. I want to know, because I have a funny story about aliens. Oh, I'd love to hear it. Okay. On my wedding day, my wedding day, it was incredible.

We found this... We had all those, like, lanterns. We found this. We had all those like lanterns. And we had a bunch of people. And we lit them on fire. And we put up the orbs. Right? And they float. You know, about two weeks after our wedding, there's this viral video in Canada of an alien invasion.

And it's this little little group of people. Maybe they're in trailers. Maybe they're not. Maybe they're on meth. Maybe. And they are freaking out of the invasion

that's happening right now. And there's video. And it's like, come on. There's more. There's more. There's more. And it's literally like,

you know, 20 miles down the road from where we were. Right. So it's your stuff just floating around. Vice wrote an article about it. Like, all this stuff was happening about this alien invasion and this video. And I had to be like, I emailed the editor, and I was just like, hey, I honestly think that this is for my wedding. And it was like this incredible thing.

And they took it down on their Facebook because it went viral. It was like this huge thing where people were like, what is this? What are all these orbs? They're floating over. And it was like this incredible thing where we were like, and forever our family is just like, remember the aliens that came to your wedding and floated down there? Because you just put them up.

It's just like lighting trash on fire and letting it go are they it's just like a candle Yeah, it's like one of those like little like tea light things and the heat from the thing It's just like this or but they float forever and we're on the water We're in like Port Dover and so it blew it down the fuck it it just like the wind it up Danger of that causing a forest fire No, no, no no Never, there's no danger of that causing a forest fire? No. No. No? No.

Never. But it's a candle that's floating. Yeah. To anywhere. Yeah. Like a bundle of pine needles. No, there's no bundle of pine needles in Canada. It's all wet.

We're moistured. We're well moistured. All the time? Yeah, all the time. But you have fires up there. You do have fires up there. Some places, like up north, kind of, but not really. Nothing to really speak to.

It's not a problem. Yeah, we can, you know, a bunch of white privileged losers setting firebombs up into the sky. Yeah, no problem. But the fucking, but aliens, I'm interested. I'm genuinely, because I'm like, obviously, it's ignorant, right? To think that there isn't stuff out there? Am I crazy? Isn't there something that's happening very soon isn't the Pentagon releasing

something didn't they have some sort of a press release scheduled no there's something that's scheduled very soon that that Jeremy Korbel was discussing because they just released I got a cough button now watch it actually says cough yes it's real which is great cuz I used to cough I used to clear my throat into the mic and people got super annoyed but there's been quite a few sightings that they've confirmed that the Pentagon's confirmed the Navy's confirmed like we yeah this is real footage we don't know what the fuck it is we have no idea this did you see the pyramids?

There's these floating pyramids, floating things. I haven't seen it. This is a recent one. There's a cluster of them. Cluster of pyramids. But there's three of them that they got on video. They're floating above this installation. They have no idea what the fuck they are.

Incredible. They don't know how they're operating. They don't know what they are. So you're thinking, like, if we can't handle COVID, we're going to do really good against the aliens? Well, that's what we're built for. We're built for extraterrestrial problems. No, we're fucked, man. There's no way we're going to handle it.

We're feeble, right? Or we're fragile? We're fragile. We're bags of milk. We're not just fragile physically. More importantly, we're fragile in terms of our ability to overcome adversity, our ability to handle things and keep our composure. Look, a bad cold, which is essentially what coronavirus is, it's a terrible cold. Kills a lot of people, but yeah.

It killed people. It really exposed people's health problems more than anything. Right. The average person to die from COVID had 2.6 comorbidities. Okay. So that means more than two and a half other problems, whether it's a heart disease, cancer, and then COVID, and then COVID killed them. But it's not that. It's not that we have a hard time with that.

It's just that we fell apart in terms of the way we communicate with each other like people went into a panic you know people uh people started attacking people and becoming way more negative online and also their identity and their time was way more wrapped up in having these twitter battles yeah people were twitter battling with each other rather than like trying to establish some sense of community, getting your life in order, getting your health in order and using this time. Some people like

Action Bronson used this time to lose 130 pounds and become a fitness fanatic. Some people used this time like you did to build your businesses up. Some people didn't do shit. Some people just freaked out. Some people just got more and more fearful and more and more't do shit and some people just freaked out. Hit the internet. And some people just Paralyzed.

They got more and more fearful and more and more paranoid and more and more angry and more and more aggressive. It's just weird. And I think if something like the aliens came, the only good thing

that would come out of it is we'd realize how foolish a lot of the arguments, a lot of the anger that we have are. Well, it goes away once the big dogs come down. Yes. All of the arguments, a lot of the anger that we have are. Well, it goes away once the big dogs come down. Yes.

All of a sudden, they roll up. Will Smith, is Will Smith here to help us? I think Will needs his own help. He needs help. He's good at content. Is he making a lot of, I feel he makes a lot of content. I bet he's making content right now. Content.

But our real problem is that we are, we don't know how to think, and we don't know how to think, and we don't know how to talk, and we don't know how to communicate. And so many people are just dumb and lazy. Right. And they're hoping that someone else is going to clean up the mess. They're hoping that someone else is going to come along. And then there's the reality of just getting hundreds of millions of people fed and heat and air conditioning. Dude, if it snows, look what happens.

Yeah, well, here, yeah. You know, like it is one of those things where we're just not prepared for whatever. Like we're so used to being in our own, you know, world. We have a narrow window that we can operate in. And anything that goes outside of that narrow window, we fall apart. Do you think like laser weaponry would help us? Or do you think bullets would? No.

Nothing will help us. This is going to be like us showing up in tanks and dealing with chimps. Right. What are chimps going to do? We roll up in tanks. They're not going to do shit. No. They're not going to do a goddamn thing.

They just go like this. Over. That's going to be what it's like if they come here. If they decide- Do you think they like us? Pentagon UFO report. They acknowledge the reality. reality whistleblower says Luis Elizondo on blockbuster documents on UFOs Yeah, this is the show the video of the the fucking see if you what is it is this that rich?

Yeah, these are these things that are flying the sky Yeah, they're flying see this three of them? They were flying and these guys filmed it. What was it over? It was over something. It was some Navy footage, but they're using night vision. They're filming it through a cell phone. They have no idea what these things are and they're just floating and flying around through, you know, they're obviously controlled.

They have some sort of, they're piloted or, you know, a drone or something. Like this is like, that should be triggering to some extent of like what's going on. Like I'm sure they've been like preparing some kind of like They don't know what to do. This is the reality of it. If you talk to anybody that's actually in the government, they'll tell you.

They don't know what to do. Because these things are moving. I interviewed this guy. He has the most compelling story. His name't know what to do. They're like, we're cooked. Because these things are moving. I interviewed this guy. Yeah. He has the most compelling story. Right. His name is Commander David Fravor. Right.

And he was in 2004, which was 80 years ago, right? Right. My math? No, 76. 2004, it was off of the coast of San Diego. That's four years ago. It was off the coast of San Diego. And he encountered this thing.

They saw this thing. It looked like there was a ship underwater. And so as they closed in on this, they saw this thing that was about the size of this room, like 20 feet, 30 feet long, something like that. And it was shaped like a tic-tac. And it was somehow intelligently controlled. It faced them and it blocked their radar, which is technically an act of war. Right. And then it moved off at such an insane rate of speed that they couldn't watch it.

And then it went to their, they had an established destination point that they were eventually going to go to that was 30 miles away. And then this Tic Tac thing flew to that spot. So they took their information. Yeah. It was like, you're going here, I go there. It went directly there, but it got there in a second, 30 miles away. It went from 80,000 feet above sea level to one foot in less than a second. They have no idea how fast, because the radar blips like one second.

In that time, it went from 80,000 feet to one feet above sea level. They don't know what it is. There's so many different UFOs, right? Well, I think this is a place where they go. They're like, what's going on down here with these idiots? I used to do a joke that I think Earth is the Tijuana of outer space. Right. I think they come here when they're fucked up and they want to see a show.

They're like, what are those crazy pink monkeys with bang sticks up to yeah Yeah, come down here, and they watch us be stupid. They love it. They're like wait give them social media Give them social media. I think they're probably aware that they're on we're on the verge of destroying earth We could at any given moment with the wrong set of decisions and the wrong set of circumstances We could blow up the earth. Yeah. We shouldn't blow up the earth. The earth is great. It's a pretty fucking awesome spot. It's a great spot.

We got to stop some things. You know? We need a lot of people to do small little things. There's also the wackiest theory. Okay. What's the wackiest? The wackiest theory is that we are the product of accelerated evolution. Right.

That's the wackiest theory. Okay. Because they came down here, whether it's Australopithecus or some of the lower primates and they intervened and did some genetic experiments and created us. Now one of the reasons why that's so interesting is because scientists recently just came out

and admitted that they've made human monkey hybrid embryos. So these are real things that they've done and they said they did it under the guise of harvesting organs because we need organs so they're going to make these human monkey... Just organ donors. Yeah, exactly. It's like KFC making chickens

with like five legs. Yeah, but if you're going to have an organ that a grown adult can use, you've got to make a grown adult. That means you've got to make a grown adult monkey-human hybrid so that you can take its liver out. And you're like, what? That seems like a lot for a liver. I don't know how else to do it.

Doesn't it cost like $100,000 to break your arm in America? How much is that liver? How much is the super monkey? It's expensive, but maybe they can make it cheaper if there's a lot of hybrid monkey people. But the thing is, what if this thing gets out? What if it's a human? What if it gets out like a last? What if it gets a gun?

What if these monkey-human hybrids go straight Planet of the Apes on us Like the idea of us interfering with lower animals sounds arrogant and crazy So when we think about someone doing that to us like an animal like some some being from another planet coming down here and introducing It's DNA into ours, into what we used to be, into lower primates and creating a person sounds so arrogant and crazy. Yeah. But then you think of what we're actually doing. Yeah.

With humans. We're doing that. And monkeys. Why aren't we? We're doing that. Clonage. That is the oldest theory about the missing link with human beings. They're just like somebody came down, put a needle in.

Yeah. The missing link with human beings. They're just like somebody came down, put a needle in. Yeah. In fact, that was one of the big theories that this guy Zachariah Sitchin used to write about. Zachariah Sitchin is a guy who wrote a bunch of books on the Sumerian text. The Sumerian text is the oldest known cuneiform. Some of the oldest known written language. known cuneiform.

Some of the oldest known written language. And it's really fascinating shit because they had the double helix of DNA. They drew that in their depictions for medicine. You ever seen that thing when they have the two snakes that

represents medicine? He believed that that was representing the double helix of DNA. And there's images of that in a lot of their ancient stuff. There's images of these gigantic beings that are holding these weird little monkey people on their lap. There's a lot of evidence. Well, it's not evidence. It's just drawings.

Right. Okay. It could have been just someone making a comic book 6,000 years ago. But it could be they were trying to tell a story. And they also had a detailed depiction of the solar system with all of the, this is 6,000 years ago, right? When a lot of people thought the world was flat. They had it, and they do today too, some people. I enjoy watching people explain that stuff.

That's amazing. But they had a detailed depiction of the solar system 6,000 years ago with the Sun and all the planets including Pluto And we didn't know about Pluto until 1930 right somewhere around then they knew Pluto They drew it they had a depiction of all the planets Jupiter Mars Saturn Venus then we can see it see if you find the the original the See if you find the- The original. The depictions of- So what they think, what this guy, Zacharias Hitchin, and his believers think is that they

were trying to tell this story of how some beings came from another planet, manipulated human DNA, and- Ah, look at that. That's pretty wild. So this is from- There's the sun, and there's all the planets, and that one planet all the way over to the right in between them, they think that is this planet that they all came from. It's called Nibiru. And their story, again, this is Zechariah Sitchin's story, is that Nibiru was on an elliptical orbit.

And every 3,600 years years it would come near Earth and they would come around and hop off and see what the fuck we're up to and then go back out. See if you can find the depiction of ancient Sumerians with monkey people. Monkey people hybrid.

Because there's these weird clay tablets that show this god-like creature with this little human type person with a tail but the person has a tail oh um which one that's an animal that's a good question there's so many they had a lot of wild shit i got so many things you know it's it's hard what is that that's a good one. That's fucking cool. See, you need that. That's something you could have.

I don't think that's from Sumer, but it's fucking cool, whatever it is. Find out what that is, and let's get that for the studio. Look at that. There's a better one. Bro, look at that thing. Where's that from? Ancient Aliens. Wow, that's fucking killer.

That is Anunnaki. That other one, though. What is that one right there? That's the one I need for the studio. What is that? It almost looks like it's just a 3D computer image. I don't think it is. I think it's a sculpture, an actual sculpture.

Get a bookmark. Here's a better idea. Get a bookmark of that and take that image and make it a photo on metal and put it in a studio, right? Yeah, but the actual thing would be fun. Yeah, but the actual thing's probably 7,000 years old. We'd have to steal it. We'd have to steal it. We have the technology.

We have the technology. We'd have to hire Daniel Craig to sneak in through the ceiling. Daniel Craig! Oh my goodness. I love Daniel Craig. He's so... He's in good shape. He's in very good shape. He's the best James Bond of all time. Agreed? I believe so. Come on. There's no belief. Well, there's... I think he's the only one that seems...

Well, Connery. No? Connery's no good. No. I think he's the best one where he's the realist. Connery was great for back then, but it's like when Elvis was doing karate. It's like, okay. You know?

It's like, okay. I think Daniel Craig is the realist. Who's the new one? Who's the new one? They don't know yet. They don't know. Someone said Daniel Ratcliffe, the Harry Potter. Harry Potter is. Oh, that would be horrible.

That's what, that's fake news. Yeah, not that he's horrible, but it's like, that can't be. After Daniel Craig. Daniel Craig looks like a straight up killer. Like, you believe that he was an assassin. But that's the thing, 007 has to be able to kill. Yes. You have to be, he has to be. Especially in this modern age.

I want to go into a casino and like a magic door. Yes. Beautiful women. Talk to me. You know, like a guy with the tinfoil teeth and the hat weapon. Oh, yeah. Bladed hat. That's what's up. Yeah. Imagine being a secret agent. Are you a secret agent? No. That seems like a lot of work and it would be really

annoying and you'd hardly sleep. There's no sleep. Then you'd have to be on sleep meds and those aren't really good for you. Get a body pillow. Travel with a body pillow just to sleep well. How about those ones where your arm goes in a tunnel? Oh, I need an arm tunnel. Just like.

You know those things? No, I need one. I sleep like. Yeah. I feel like I sleep like that. Cuddling with someone. Because it's like. The idea is that it protects your shoulder.

Oh, that's good. Because you sleep. Do you sleep like that? How do you sleep? I just sleep. You sleep. Do you sleep like that? How do you sleep? I just sleep. Do you sleep just on your back? No, I lay on my side. You're a side sleeper?

I get sleep apnea if I sleep on my back. Yeah, I snore. How many times have you had your nose broken? Oh, yeah. Yeah, but I've had it fixed. You've had it fixed. Works great. Breathing.

But not until I was 40. Right. When I was younger, I broke it so many times, it was basically useless. But then when I got it fixed, it was like the world changed for me. Yeah. I tell everybody, if you have a deviated septum, if your nose is fucked up, oh my God, get it fixed. My nose is good. All that coke cleaned it out.

And I didn't burn through it somehow. That's amazing. Breath work is important, right? Oh, yeah. You know Brian McKenzie? Do you know him? No. Breath? Brian McKenzie? He's a's amazing. Breath work is important, right? Oh, yeah. You know Brian McKenzie? Do you know him? No. Breath?

Brian McKenzie? He's a breath guy. What do you got, Jamie? Oh. Jamie. I thought you said something. I was so, I was like. Trying to find that monkey person thing?

I think it's a depiction of the monkey king from Bali. No, no, no, no, no, no. I know that one, too. It's, um, look for. I found a different one that looked similar but different. And then that look for Oh, that's pretty That is pretty. Look at that with the moss. That Monkey King is fucking dope as shit. But it's not that. That's a different thing.

The Monkey King's tight. Fuck, that Monkey King is badass. What's that one in the lower right corner? You got nothing like that in Canada. With the red? The lower right? Yeah. Oh, wow. There we go. There we go. Monkey King mask. That's pretty tight. No, that's not. It is Anunnaki.

Just Google. I went down the other path. I was trying to find out what this thing was. Oh, okay. I found a different picture, but it also said it was like an Anunnaki-Monkey hybrid. Oh. Yeah. No, no, no.

No. That looks very modern to me. If you can just Google clay tablet Anunnaki with monkey. So this website took me... Pinterest? Does Pinterest serve that? Just Google clay tablet. Let's look at how to retile your kitchen on Pinterest. Sumerian tablet, right, Sumerian tablet, Anunnaki.

This site has a ton of information about this. Oh, yeah? Let's save it. Oh, what is this site? Ancient astronauts. Wow, let's go. This Africa is woke. It's like a bunch of Anunnaki stars.

Oh, okay. This is how I got to that one. Anunnaki. Ancient Mesopotamia. Mesopotamia? Yeah. Mesopotamia seems nice. It's just a bunch of articles, though.

Okay. If you can go back in time anywhere, any place, and see what it was like to live back then, where would you go? Joe? That's a good question. I would love... I don't know. I'm always so fixated on Braveheart and Highlander and just Claymore shit. I just want to be like...

I want to paint my face, wear a kilt, and chuck a Claymore at somebody. You know? And just be like, live in the mud. Freedom! Yeah, just run around. Yeah. And just like run around the highlands. I think like that kind of stuff would be interesting.

That'd be pretty dope. And I'm like, I want to just like get my friends together and we're just like, we're going to fight the British. We're going to free our country. Maybe that kind of stuff. Where it seems simpler, like that kind of war seems like simple. You know, a battle's like every six months. You've got to walk, you know, a thousand miles, you know a battle's like every six months you gotta walk you know a

thousand miles you know and you just chill out and relax and then and then you're like okay there's 300 of us four or five hundred of us we're gonna fight a thousand of you you guys gotta got more arrows but we're gonna run we can run fast you got it planned out yeah i think i'm just gonna go back to braveheart i'm pretty much i'm I'm just like Braveheart. Yeah, Braveheart days. I don't know. I think that would be, like, why not? Like, we have all the technology in the world. Let's go back to, like, what was the world just before Facebook?

Yeah. Where would you go? Where would you? I think I would go to one or two things. Either I would go ancient Egypt and see what it was like when they were building the pyramids. Like what was civilization like? Because we lost so much of that when they burned the... And like the Aztec stuff. Yeah.

Well, the Mayans. The Mayans. I would definitely go and the Aztecs. I would check that out. But, you know, people were there and they have some pretty detailed depictions of those people back then. Like when Cortez came and the Spaniards came. I would go to... I think if I had to choose one, it would be ancient Egypt, but if I had

to choose another one, I think I might want to be... I might want to see what it was like when the settlers first encountered the Native Americans when they were making their way across North America. Yeah, yeah. Like when they first got to Texas and they met the Comanche. I would love to see what it was like back then Yes, people are just riding around on horseback shooting Buffalo and then also these pale-faced motherfuckers show up like what was that like? What the fuck what was the first encounters like between these?

That movie hostiles I didn't see I don't think no Yeah, dude, it's amazing. It's like, um... It's about, you know, like, two adversaries, kind of like, um... One chief is gonna be brought back to his, uh... When was this? What year is this? Dude.

2017. No shit. Christian Bale? Oh, yeah, dude. This movie is incredible. So, so, so... You know, Wes Studi here, he's like, you know, some iconic warrior. And then versus, you know, Christian Bale's character.

It's about them bringing... He has cancer. So the chief has cancer. Oh, wow. And it's about being like, I'm going to die anyways. I have no fight left. I want to just be on my land when I die. I want to die in my home.

And that woman's in it. What's her name? Rosamund Pike? She's really good, too. She's from Gone Girl. She's great in everything. Yeah, yeah. Gone Girl.

Yeah? Yeah. She was also in I Care A Lot. Yeah. Did you see I Care A Lot? No. Fucking crazy movie. What's the one with the Ben Affleck movie, too?

She's the one who kills him? Yeah, Gone Girl. Okay. Yes. She doesn't kill him, right? No. No. Fucking crazy movie. What's the one with the Ben Affleck movie too? She's the one who kills him? Yeah, Gone Girl. Okay. She doesn't kill him, right? No. She fucks with him. Kills a bunch of other people. Yeah, she's good in that.

Psychopath. Yeah, she's full on psycho. She's like the new Sharon Stone. Yeah, but like more intense. More intense. Yeah, she's in I Care A Lot and she plays a psycho in that movie too. She plays a great psycho. This movie, she's's like she's crushed

because her family gets murdered they get murdered by you know some Native Americans and then they find that troop find her when they're bringing back the chief. They come across her who's like shook holding her like you know shot baby still.

It's so heavy but that movie is like just slow rolling. It's two old warriors coming to terms and fighting the war at the end, but they have to return. One warrior has to return this chief to, or a soldier,

I shouldn't say, but a soldier returning a chief to his land that they just had this horrible fucking war, but it's just like, you know, it's a great movie. Hostiles. Hostiles, because I know that you're really into all that. Yeah, I'm into Native American stuff. Yeah. I'm just into ancient

civilizations. I'm into ancient Egypt, I'm into ancient Africa. Those people would hate us, right? Yeah, they wouldn't Those ancient, like, Egypt would be like You fucking slobs. You losers. Like, what are you idiots doing? You're shitting all over the place and ruining the earth and and They're not doing good everywhere. You go eat vegetables polluting just make gold necklaces and have nice times. Yeah, I don't know I just would have loved to seen what their culture was like because we just we just guess about that

You know thousands and thousands of years ago making these insane structures that still hold up today. Just hundreds of thousands of people just building these pyramids, pulling the stones. Stonehenge. Where'd it come from? Where'd they come from? Stonehenge is crazy, but it's not as crazy. No. That's just a couple rocks. The Great Pyramid of Giza has 2,300,000

stones. And they didn't come from there. Some of them were from hundreds of miles away. The ones inside the king's chamber, they're huge. Have you been to the pyramids? No. Have you ever been to the pyramids? No, the closest I've been to is, I've seen the Mayan temples at Chichen Itza. That was pretty fucking wild. That's pretty wild.

You just imagine what it was like just being around these structures when they were filled with people, these people running this. Navigating that life back then, like in that space. Yeah, they were filled with people these people running this navigating that life back then like in that space yeah they were living in this society where their their buildings were there aligned to constellations like they were so tuned into the stars that that's how they had there's earth and then the sky right sky must have been magnificent you could see everything

there was no light yeah you know there was magnificent. You could see everything there was no light. Yeah, you know there was no light You could see everything the canvas was there. Let me ask you something. Okay? Where was like the scariest place? Where did you feel like in the world traveling around? Where was the place where you were like this most scared? From a person who can take care of himself, you know, like where was a place like where you're traveling like this is sketchy This is like a place where I'm like shit like, you know, like where was the place where you felt most scared? Well, the scariest place is always the woods. Yeah, because you're so vulnerable Like, you know, if you encounter a bear or a mountain lion or you know, that's the scariest

yeah, but it's also in some ways like the most humbling and peaceful and enchanting. Right. There's something about the purity of nature where nature doesn't give a fuck what your plans are. No. Like when you're out there on a mountaintop and you're out looking out. Part of what's amazing about it is the humbling of yourself that comes about. about it is the humbling of yourself that comes about. You gain this intense humility because you're around this inescapable beauty.

And also the vast spans of ground and the mountains. And then you're looking out there and these elk are fighting to the death and the mountain lion's right in a jackham and then a bear is waiting to scare the mountain lion off the catch and Much it's scary. It's why did you just you feel so vulnerable? Yeah, it's also Ironically the most beautiful and like the most well gone Have you hunted alone like have you done the thing where you're like? I'm gonna I'm gonna go out there alone and like do like a weekend. No never done that. No, no, is that crazy town? That's crazy town.

I have a bunch of friends who do it all the time. My buddy Shane Dorian, he's a big wave surfer. He loves going on those solo hunts. He'll just pack his shit, go in. He brings a satellite phone in case he breaks his leg. Then he'll go out there and that's something you really have to think about. You break your leg in the woods, you're fucking dead.

If they can't find you by the time your phone runs out of battery, you're dead. You're gone. You're dead. You're not getting out. No, you're dead. You're dead. And something's going to eat you.

Yeah. And now they're reintroducing wolves into places like Colorado and Montana. Get them back in there. Let's bring them back. And so then you're dead even quicker. Yeah. The wolves scare me. The wolves will get you.

We got lots of coyotes. We have big coyotes where I am. And they're like, it's not like LA coyotes. These are like big, like. They're eating moose and shit. They're eating some mooses and some deers. Like the other day we found like a whole carcass, like a half eaten carcass of like a whole deer in our front yard.

So we got, you know, whatever, a couple acres. And we got about six acres of like forest on our property attached to other people's forests and stuff like that. And there's so many, it was incredible. Like Mac was just like running around our front yard. It was like,

started like screaming like, wow, wow. Check this out. Like he was so stoked. He was like, check this out. He's like,

can I touch it? I was like, whoa, what's going on? And then all of a sudden as I got closer, I was like, no, don't touch this yet.

I was just like, do not touch this. And it was just like a fucking, we didn't hear anything or anything. We just like, it was just like they ate. I was like, no, don't touch this yet. I was just like, do not touch this. And it was just like a fucking, we didn't hear anything or anything. We just like, it was just like they ate. It was incredible. Like they still hadn't eaten one of the legs. And it was so weird because it was still snowy out too. So this is like, you know, about a month ago when there was still snow.

And it was crazy because I'm watching, looking at the, you know, the half eaten deer. And I'm like, there's no blood anywhere. And then I was just like, where was this taken down? And then so now I was like, Mac, we've got to find the blood. He's like, what's the blood? I was like, well, when animals are eaten or when we cut ourselves or whatever, even when you get a paper cut, the blood that comes out? He's like, yeah. I was like, well, when this was eaten by the coyotes, there'd be a lot of blood somewhere.

So there's going to be a lot of blood on the snow. So let's walk around the property. And so we were like walking around, and it was like my daughter, my wife, and my son, and we're just like cruising around. And then Trish was the first. She's like, it's over here. And then there's just like all the fur, all the blood.

And Mac was so interested. It's so crazy He's five and he's so obsessed with eyes and if people are alive or dead like if he was to meet you He's like are you alive? I'm alive, but he's just like he's like have you ever died? He's so like kids are so funny with the shit that they say and he'll just be like He's like let me see your eyes He's like you got a lot of blood in your because he's obsessed with like, kids are so funny with the shit that they say. And he'll just be like, he's like, let me see your eyes. He's like, you got a lot of blood in your, because he's obsessed with, like, these blood vessels. Oh, yeah.

Like, he'll always be like, take a closer, you know, you can just keep zooming in on your phone. He's like, I'll zoom in on his eyes. And he's like, let me look, let me look. And he's like, ooh. And he just, like, loves, like, it's so weird what kids love and what they're interested in. It's so interesting them learning things, too, right? Well, the thing, too, is too is like we're bringing them up It's funny cuz like my wife is Italian

Irish right and so her mother very religious, you know, and and none of our kids are baptized we're not bringing them up with any kind of religion whatsoever and It's an interesting thing cuz like He'll watch like TV shows and they'll mention like things about god or i'll say like oh my god or whatever i'll say things like that and and he's just like what is all that and i was just like well some people believe in that there's like a higher power and like there's like a soul and there's all these kind of things and i was just like um you know it's an interesting thing to talk to like young kids about that because they really

soak it up right and i'm just like learning learning not to talk too much about stuff, some stuff. But Trisha, she loves talking about everything with them. It's so interesting to see her really engage and describe what murder is. Or describe you're watching something and he's like, what is that? And Trisha will be like, well, that's when somebody killed somebody and they didn't like them and then they killed them and it's not good to kill anybody, though. And you're just like, what's happening? What's crazy is

he's only been alive for five years. Just think about yourself five years ago. You're basically the same guy. There's not much difference between me five years ago and me today. No. But a five-year-old kid five years ago, he didn't know jack shit. And now he's asking you about eyes and are you dead?

Yeah. You know, he's like putting it all together. Yeah. It's wild. It is. Like, I just love like the, I don't know. They're so funny kids. Like, I'm just like, I really enjoy like just hanging out with like, you know, like it's

one of those things where I was just like, I always knew that I like wanted kids and like wanted this stuff. But I was just like, I don't know how it will fit in with my, you know, whole thing. Right. Like it's such a different thing where like you're your own individual, your relationship with your wife and your partner and then like your children. And how does that all work? And like. Louis C.K. gave me some real good advice once about that.

He said, just let it change you. Yeah. It's wisdom in a sentence. Yeah. Just let it change you yeah it's wisdom in a sentence just let it change you yeah and i'm like yeah i always that's what happens too it just changes you it's a wave but it's like you were talking about before were you trying to hold on to your identity of being a partier yeah you know that that was your identity you know there's a lot of people that have this idea of who they are and then all of a sudden they have children and then they change. It changes you. And it has to. It makes you

so hard and so soft at the same time. You know what's really sad? When it doesn't change you. Because I know guys where it doesn't change them. And those guys are sad. And they drift away from their family. They get divorced. They don't raise their kids. And it's just like there's a disconnect

for them that is just unimaginable. Yeah, it's unimaginable. I can't imagine not loving the kids. It is a crazy thing because it's like the craziest thing, too, now that we're just talking about kids, but it's just like one of the things that makes me crazy, or not crazy, but the growth of the love and the connection. Because it's like one of the, I mentioned that earlier where it's just like when, and we did very intense home births. Beautiful, very lucky to have like, you know, no breaches or no nothing. And they were very, you know, Trish did all the work.

What do you do if there is a breach, if you're doing a home pregnancy? Do you just get her to the hospital quick? Yeah, we have one midwife, and we did a doula for the first one, and then we literally didn't have anybody. It was just me and the midwife for Rizzo and Ozzy. So yeah, if something goes down, then you call the EMS, and then you have a thing set up. Were you close to the hospital still?

No, well, at the farm, we're like 45 minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck that. What if the umbilical cord's wrapped? Fucking. Unwrap it? Unwrap it. Get in there with your fists?

I'll fucking do anything. I'll take it out. Yeah, fucking kids. But the thing that I was trying to say is that the magic of television and our brains are like, the second it comes out, you have this eternal love. Where you do have that eternal love, but the love really grows. Where instantly I felt very connected. I was like, oh my God, this is a baby. And it's one of those things where it was so weird.

You have to teach yourself to, because I grew up, I didn't really have pets. So I'm like, I had to, I was like, oh my God, I have to like, what's the name of the kid? Like for the first few days, I was like, what's the name of our kid again? MacArthur? Okay, MacArthur. You know, like I was just like had to like get into this thing of like naming a child and like being like, it was just such a, it's such an interesting ongoing thing where you're like now Mac is such a fucking powerhouse.

It feels surreal too, right? Oh my God. It doesn't feel real. Even to this day, I'll talk to my 12-year-old. We'll have a little conversation. I'm like, are you fucking real? Yeah. You really come out of some of my DNA?

Dude. How is that possible? Dude, it's possible. You're all talking and laughing. And then they exhibit personality traits that are real similar to yours. And you're like, wow, nuts.

My son, my parents are like, it is eerie. How Mac is like you, he is a, he's a fireball and he's so sweet. And he's so like, it's just like one of those things away from Coke.

Yeah, I know. Well, everyone's on their own path too. Like, cause I, I was so, I was just like,

you know, I've put so many like intentions into just being like, I just hope he doesn't have that addict blood. And I'm like, he's got all my blood. He's me. This guy's a psychopath. I was just like, hopefully, you know, we just give him the tools to be able to make the right decisions, you know? Yeah.

Like, that's the thing is, like, I'm not caught up in, like, you know, I'm like, I want my kid want my kid to be this and i want my kid to be that i'm like i just want my kid to be a good person that can make good decisions good like i think that's the best you can do you just want your kids to be happy human beings you know and they don't have the the saddest thing is when someone has expectations for their children that aren't their children's hopes yeah and dreams and they force them on their kids it ruins both it. It poisons the will on both ends. And it fucks up the relationship. I've seen it with friends where their dads are upset at them because they're not living the life that the dad wanted for them.

Like, hey, motherfucker. You know, like, you're my dad. You're not, you don't own me. You're not my owner. Yeah. I didn't ask you to be here. Yeah. I didn't ask you to be here, bro.

You gotta let your kids be who the fuck they are, man. Yeah. And you can't help them too much here, bro. You got to let your kids be who the fuck they are, man. Yeah. And you can't help them too much either. No. You got to stay away. You got to let them find their own little path. Well, that's the thing. Because if you do, you know, you hold their hand too much, not good.

I was like, Trish, I really want you to, like, 19, they're out. They're out of the house. Go buy your own Coke. Yeah. Go crash your own cars. Do whatever you want to do, but get out of the house. Go buy your own Coke. Yeah. Go crash your own cars. Do whatever you want to do, but get out of here. Because I was just like, that's my biggest thing. I want them to live their life.

I want them to make mistakes. I want them to fall down. I want them to be able to learn how to pick themselves back up. I come from, you know, we make a lot of mistakes. And there was no one there. I had a lot of beautiful support mentally, but like there's no like financial support from my family or anything like that.

Really? You know, so stay up there in Canada. What if they lock down harder? What if they keep going? The rest of the world's free. I don't know. Like, fuck, my farm's pretty tight. I got enough land. Like, fuck, I grow vegetables. It's pretty fucking tight. That is pretty cool. Dude, I'm like, so like that's pretty tight. I got enough land. Like, fuck, I grow vegetables. It's pretty fucking tight. That is pretty cool. Dude, I'm like, that's the thing.

Self-sufficient. Yeah. Like, I can grow enough vegetables to feed my family all year round. Do you have animals up there, too? Not yet. You gonna? I don't know. It's a lot of responsibility.

A couple of bison. Yeah, just like one bison. I don't have that much property. A couple of bisons are sick, though. You have a couple of bison, then you can feed those fuckers. You could eat one of them for two years. Dude, a bison? I don't have that much property. A couple of bisons are sick though. You have a couple of bison and then you can feed those fuckers. You could eat one of them for two years. Dude, a bison is so incredible. I fucking did a show where we went to a bison ranch and we got to ride four wheelers alongside

like a herd and it is thunderous. Oh yeah. To ride on these four wheelers with this bison rancher and it was like the most beautiful thing ever. And all of a sudden he was just like, you gotta stay they will come at you because you're a moving target too right so like there's even a threatening yeah well it's just like you're a machine they know that you're not a bison and but but riding along it was like 250 bison oh my god and like he was like check this out he's like just follow me and he and i my God. And he was like, check this out. He's like, just follow me. And I was like, okay.

And he's getting closer, and he starts going faster. And all of a sudden, they just start running and start running. And then all of a sudden, he's like, and he fucking has this big noise-making thing, and he lets it off. And all of a sudden, it's like, and they're going. They can run like 60 miles an hour almost. Holy shit. And so it's just like, it's so fast. Like, I had to like reef on the four-wheeler to like keep up with these bison, this pack of bison

or herd of bison. And it was like the most intense. Why do you keep saying bison? Bison? What do you say? Bison? Bison? Bison. Bison. I say bison. It's not a, there's no E-Y-E in there. I'm from Canada. What do you say? I say I'm a bagel guy too.

Oh boy, you got problems. Yeah, see no, I'm from Canada. What do you say? I say I'm a bagel guy, too. Oh, boy. You got problems. Bagel? I say bagel. I'm a bagel guy. It's a fucking bagel, man. I know. It's bagel. I said it the exact same way. You get a bag. You put a bag. I'm a milk. I say milk, too. You buy three of them

at a fucking time. Milk. Milk? Milk. Milk? Like Malcolm? I don't know. I got like a speech impediment. You don't have a speech impediment? There's no A's? No, take off A.

Milk. Like that. Fucking A. Get fucking straight. Fuck. Well, dude, we're at the three hour mark, believe it or not. This is three hours? Yeah, we did three hours.

I have to piss so bad. I know you do. I can tell. I see you shifting around. My little fucking pecker is just bursting. My foreskin's like tied up. Oh, my God. This was a lot of fun, man.

Joe Rogan, I've been experienced. Is that what they say at the end? No, but now that you did, I hope nobody else does. I feel experienced. Dude, we talked about it. Dude. We talked about a lot of shit. I appreciate it. I enjoyed it very much. Hey talked about a lot of shit. I appreciate it.

I enjoyed it very much. Hey, thank you. And I appreciate you, man. You're a good dude. You're a fun guy. Thank you. And tell everybody how they can listen to Powerful Truth Angels and how they can see your YouTube stuff and all your jazz. Well, you know, you can go to Matty Matheson.

I think just Google Matty Matheson on YouTube. Subscribe, like, fucking, you know. Is that on YouTube as well? Powerful Truth Angels? Powerful Truth Angels, yeah. It's on its own page. We almost got 10,000. No, we just beat.

Yeah, we're over 10,000 subscribers, Joe. Congratulations. Yeah, we're going to get a plaque soon, probably. Yeah, I'm doing really well, actually, Joe. So thank you so much. Yeah, I don't know how to find me. Google me. I don't fucking care.

I'm the worst plugger. I'm the anti-plugger. I don't give a fuck. Well, I'll plug you because I think you're awesome. I really do enjoy your shows. I enjoy your cooking. I enjoy your enthusiasm and personality. You're a fun dude, man. I really enjoy it. We'll do this again. We'll do it again. We'll do it again. We'll come back soon. We'll do it again. We'll come back soon.

Fuck it. We'll do it live. Fuck it. Let's go. Woo.