The Joe Rogan Experience - #166 - Duncan Trussell

Episode Date: December 14, 2011

Joe sits down with Duncan Trussell.

Duncan Trussell's in the house, ladies and gentlemen. Hello. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. I think that was one of the best commercials we ever did, Duncan. That was pretty good. It flowed seamlessly. This is how it has to be, man.

I can't, you just always say the exact same thing. It fucks. It's too uncomfortable. You feel like a big phony. I was talking to Stan Hope about that once, man. He said the worst thing is when he goes to the UK. He went to the UK and he saw the same people were in the same seat both nights. They were really loud and they sat in the same seat.

And then the second night, they sat in the same seat. But he's going to do most of the same material. Sure. I mean, you only have so much fucking material. But he's going to do most of the same material. Sure. I mean, you only have so much fucking material. And the art of stand-up comedy is to relay each piece of material as if it's really happening in your head right now.

But when someone just saw you the night before, said the exact same shit, and he's like, oh, it makes you feel like such a fucking phony. I hate it. When someone knows your shit. But it's flattering. It's flattering it's flattering they're just trying to flatter you they're trying to make you feel like we're super fans we're

coming to see you two nights in a row well i do like i mean if they are super fans though i would like you know if bill hicks was in town in boston i saw him two nights in a row i saw the same set twice in a row i wanted to i like watching that because you get to see the nuances and the way they do it differently it's cool right but for a lot of people they don't want to see that but you know but i was a you know you're an open mic comic you know an amateur and you know a total comedy nerd you know the opportunity to see like a craftsman i saw richard jenny a couple nights in a row too i saw a couple different guys a few nights in a row like i went to see them i saw dom irera a couple nights in a row you i wanted to see their their act over and over again i wanted to see how they did it and it's interesting man when you you

see people's different reactions in different crowds like whoa yeah why didn't that one work yeah that's crazy this is weird i told you one of my favorite moments in comedy is watching bill hicks bomb he bombed with the confidence and flair of a man who was crushing. It never bothered him. There's a lot of people who say it never bothered them, but you can see this fear or detachment in their eyes, this panicked look. He never got it. He never got the panicked look.

He would bomb, and as he was bombing, he would talk through the bombing. He was doing this bit where he went on after this other guy. And the other guy that went up is a very nice guy, but he's really hacky. And he had a bunch of cartoons, smoking pot jokes, where he'd do a daffy duck smoking pot. Oh, wow. And then another guy. It was one of those guys. But he was a nice guy. My point is, he was killing.

This audience was monkeys. They were apes. It was one of those guys but he was a nice guy you know my point is he was killing this audience was monkeys they were apes it was one of those dumb audiences and every now and then you get them you know in boston you have some really educated people and then you have a lot of troll people too sure yeah fucking queer yeah you know you got a lot of those well they they did not like Hicks at all. He came on super confident and real slow and deliberate with the way he was putting his set out there. And just like he owned the room. And just would start doing his material. And they didn't like it, man.

And they were leaving in droves. And he had this bit where Satan fucks John Davidson in the ass. And he would rotate people. It would be John Davidson. It would be Oprah. Yeah, sure. And then he shits out Geraldo Rivera. And he's on the toilet shitting.

And he's making this shit noise for, man, like two minutes, which is a long time to just sit there. And he's making this and he looks up and people are just leaving in giant groups this fucking guy's fucking terrible fucking terrible not funny at all after that last guy and they're leaving and hicks looks up and i swear to god he wasn't even fazed he goes yeah this generally clears the room and just to me and my friends i think fit simmons might have been there for that one um to be in my friends and 50 people it was fucking hilarious the bits were hilarious it was uh it was like so interesting it wasn't i'll be honest it was not the funniest material that i'd ever seen in my life it wasn't the funniest delivery but it was certainly the most thoughtful without a doubt it was a totally different kind of laughter

i was experiencing i was experiencing experiencing a laughter and like a fuck he just nailed it too it wasn't just laughter it was like wow that's an awesome point to just shove into a joke you know you know what i mean yeah so it wasn't like he was the funniest guy. If you compared him to the guys that I knew growing up, like Steve Sweeney, Steve Sweeney used to fucking crush. I mean crush to the point where you would be terrified to go on after him.

To follow a guy like Steve Sweeney in Boston when he's on full tilt, when he goes up there just rabid and full of energy, you're fucking doomed, man. Right. He's just too good. And Hex wasn't like that. It was a totally different kind of funny.

It was its own little thing, man. And it influenced a lot of people to sort of branch off into a more thoughtful direction. You know? Yeah, it's really cool when you see somebody who's got the balls to just say exactly what they're thinking on stage with zero pandering. That's not going to be, that can't be that kind of crushing comedy. It's a different thing altogether. It's still super funny. But you know what my thing is, dude?

I like to sandwich it. I like to shove it in between shit that just has no point at all just ridiculous and just the stuff that i think is funny and it's usually it's usually gay jokes it's usually for whatever reason it's usually someone inadvertently sucking a dick or someone is sucking a dick for a reward my sense of humor is so fucking juvenile man i'm so childish and i actually thought like man maybe i got a problem like why am i such a child with like stuff that i think is silly and funny you know like maybe there's something wrong with that and then i went to see jim norton and uh jim norton was in austin and he had more dick jokes than me yeah and i said to him afterwards i go dude i was starting to think maybe i have too many jokes about dicks in my ass until i went to see

you i saw an hour's worth of dick jokes, and I fucking thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm like, thank you. That made me feel good because as a person who was an audience member, I saw it from an audience member's perspective. Like, oh, it's just a big, crazy, silly ride, and you go along. It's not like you can't have so many jokes about dicks. And also, if you think it's funny,

then you kind of have an obligation to do it as a comic if you think something's funny you should talk about it on stage because if you think something's funny you're like oh no no that's not highbrow enough i'm not going to do that yeah that's another form of pandering that's just that's not it at all it's like yeah exactly yeah if you have a joke about shitting your pants you're supposed to tell that joke yeah it's not supposed to be out oh you're doing scatological material if you think it's funny that's the thing if you if you're just doing it to get a shock out of people or you're doing out of laziness that's a whole different story well ari shafir has been doing some bit that's been killing about he was in australia

and he got diarrhea it's a totally true story and it's fucking killing for him you know for someone to say that you're not supposed to do that it's funny it's really funny and it happened it's a real story you know for you to say that there's something wrong well just for you to say that there's any kind of rule it's like telling an artist well you know you can't paint that with light green that said yeah if you come over someone's house like you have to really know that person before you talk about shitting yourself yeah it's a weird thing unless they they're a doctor, I guess. When you're on stage, it's one thing, right? You're supposed to be exposing everything to anybody anyway.

Right. But if you don't know someone, they start talking to you about shitting all of themselves. Excuse me, can you come over here? I need to talk to you about something. I'm cool with it. If you're a good dude, you seem like just an open dude,

and you're like, how's the cheeseburgers there? It's like, well, they're pretty good. But listen, the but listen the last time i had i'm gonna be honest with you i shit all over myself i couldn't even make it to the bathroom i would start laughing oh shit and you think that's what it is i would have a normal conversation with you i wouldn't be like excuse me did you just say you shit all over yourself why how dare you sir speak to me like such a scoundrel. Who are you? How dare you? Where do you get this confidence to come to me? Isn't that funny when you realize that you're actually offending someone?

You realize that this really is, in some way, something I'm saying is having an effect on you that's causing you to shut down. Listen, folks, I know you've been programmed to think that you're the asshole when you're swearing and someone reacts like that. But no, no, they're the asshole. That's dumb. It's 2011. If you're really offended, if someone talks to you about shit in their pants, then you're the dummy. You're the problem. It's not the guy who shit his pants.

That guy's telling you a funny story. Okay, you're just some weird stuck up person who doesn't want to hear that well i mean no if like if i don't think something's funny and it's scatological i'm not gonna get offended i'm just gonna it's not just not funny it's not gonna bother me it's like whatever you're talking about shitting yourself fine i don't really it's not it doesn't bother me some people they've never heard that stuff before comedians we we've been horrifying each other for yeah eons right you've horrified me in so many different ways you how have i horrified you oh you have this you're really really good at um taking a story that i already kind of know for example Grizzly Man the guy getting eaten by the bear so like you'll get me really high and then start talking about like yeah like what was the what

was Grizzly Man's name what was Timothy Treadwell Timothy Treadwell and you start describing him getting eaten by a bear in this like precise microscopic way where you're like every moment you're describing the bones crunching and his femur snapping and like you're just really good at taking it like to the next level to yeah way to become a werewolf of stories at first you start talking about it you know when you're high i'm like you're high you're like well fuck you're seeing it so clear i'm like i'm not gonna let i know what he's doing he's he's gonna take this into the deep water in a second i'm not gonna let it freak me out and i still remember the

treadwell story and sure enough i'm like jesus god this is horrible poor timothy treadwell i could just see his bones turning into jelly and his eyeballs bulging out as he's screaming for the bear to stop attacking him but it won't anyway you're very good at that so after you've been hanging out with people who can professionally tell stories in the most detailed way then it's really hard to get around anyone who's going to say anything that offends you and also the internet by the way is also yeah it's like what's gonna i've seen every i've seen everything my favorite picture in the internet this is a strong statement, but it's true. My favorite picture is there's a kid,

and he's standing in front of the goatee butthole, and the guy's spreading his asshole open, and it just says, welcome to the internet. The kid is looking at that, and I'm like, yeah, that's it. Exactly. You can't get upset by things anymore. Which is why it's kind of retro and quaint when you come upon someone who actually can get offended.

When you realize, oh my God, you can still get offended? How have you maintained that? That's amazing. You mean I really have the power to disturb you in a real way? You don't realize, though, you're not under the glove all day at work. A lot of people are under the iron glove all day at work they're just stuck in an office where they're they're all their behavior is restricted most of them even have to dress funny they have to wear like weird things around their neck to signify that they mean

business yeah right and you're you're walking around some office where everybody's stifled and you're all forced together today all day to do shit you don't want to do all day long you know that's it's that's not good so people are like buttoned down because of that whereas you you're smoking pot and playing world of warcraft you know trying to write some jokes you know and then we're going to go on the road and we'll go to chicago and we'll do the chicago theater january 27th with joey diaz yeah but you know i'm saying like that's your your world right you know you don't have like a shit job that you you know get up to every morning, that's your world. Right. You don't have, like, a shit job that you, you know, get up to every morning.

Right. That's true. That's, yeah. So, yeah, I understand. People are buttoned down and they've got their condition and some crazy weird ways. It's too hard to just, if you bus free all the time and you're at work all day and you're just like, why can't we fucking talk? Yeah.

This is crazy. This job sucks. This is ridiculous. We've got to find another way to make money. Or, like, those fucking email forwards that those people send You know you get those email forwards and it's like the worst joke of all time What are the chickens say to the rabbit? Shut the fuck up. It's someone really said that You know my mom was brutal. My mom was brutal with those. I had a stopper. I said I was really nice about it

I was like just there was not that funny to me and by the way I don't want your friends sending me any crazy emails. So let's not link it all together. Yeah, please. My mom doesn't even know how to blind carbon copy. She just copies, copies. She hasn't sent me one in a long time, though. But the ones she did, I would still just look back and I'm like, Jesus Christ.

But what about those? Also, when you get on those patriotic mailers. Oh, those are brutal. I've had a bunch of those. The country I once knew. This is bunch of those a country i once knew yeah this is a story about a country and they just make things up yeah the the thousands of terrorist acts that we prevented how about those could have wiped out humanity 17 times over but we're out there doing the dirty work they were stopped yeah there's a dog living in Georgia. It always tries to play like some sentimental party.

There's a dog living in Georgia whose master didn't come home. Those stories are great. Well, you know what? It would be beautiful if that really was the case. Could you imagine if you really had 100% faith in the U.S. military and you knew that there was bad guys and we're the good guys, and it's clean, black and white, there's no doubt about it. We only do the right thing always.

We avoid war whenever possible, and we would never engage in war for profit. But that's what people like to think. They like to think that that's what we are. Well, like if every 50 years, scorpions climbed out of the volcanoes of the earth, and they were poisonous and deadly, and they shot lasers out of their eyes, and they could like poisonous and deadly and they shot lasers out of their eyes and they could like burn you alive and you met someone who's like i've made the decision to go down and fight the scorpions i'm gonna fight them i'm gonna give my life to fight these scorpions you would be like you are a fucking hero a hero that's a real hero amazing you're gonna go fight

the laser shooting scorpions it's incredible now it's so muddied it's like well you know they don't even know a lot of them they don't even know what they're doing they're like well we're going to afghanistan because um well you know we're going down there because uh you know obama's not going to veto this fucking this this new bill, the one that passed through the House, passed through the Senate and the Congress. Apparently, they okayed it and Obama's not going to veto it. It turns the United States into a battleground. You mean indefinite detention? Yeah, indefinite detention for United States civilians.

Yeah. Doesn't have to, you don't have to, yeah, you don't have to go to trial. Did you see the thing I tweeted? It was on Reddit with McCain. Rand Paul asked McCain, point blank, does this mean that you can arrest a United States citizen and detain them indefinitely? I just tweeted it, but McCain is like, you know, pretty straightforward. It's like, if someone is a threat to the security of the United States, we should be able to arrest them and detain them because

apparently like a lot of the people that they didn't detain indefinitely and they let out, according to McCain, ended up killing some troops. Yeah. So I like what they're saying. What they're saying is, listen, this is some fucking dirty warfare and we need some extra power, but we're not going to abuse it. But the problem is you can't get that extra power because everybody abuses power once they get it.

There was just, otherwise there would already be an accounting for all the fucking money that's missing. There would already be someone, some repercussions for all the lies that were told that led us to believe there was weapons of mass destruction. Just straight up lies. Think about what you can get in trouble for. Think about how crazy insider trading is. You can get arrested if you have information that you know a stock's going to go bad. Think about that.

But then think about the fact that someone somewhere lied about weapons of mass destruction. They made up some sort of a story or they fabricated some evidence, and it became the real reason why people supported the idea going there and yet it didn't exist so if we know that and that's not chased down yeah you don't chase that down there's there's there's no like big news follow-up and documentaries about it how they chased that down and found out how it happened locked everybody up and and cleaned out all the people that they were in business with no it's just somehow or another it kind of gets swept under the rug that a war was started on bullshit yeah they've allowed somehow another hypnotized people to the point where people have allowed a war to be created on bullshit

a country that had absolutely no connection that we could see like a straight connection to iraq what the fuck is that? It makes no sense. Oh, we got to go over there and get him. He's got weapons, master trucks. Okay, listen, we were going to go to war with the people that killed us, but we can't figure out who the fuck they are because apparently they're nomadic terrorists that have actually been living in America and training.

Okay, since we get the, they're all dead. Since we can't get them, let's go get some people that look like them. Yeah, right. Let's go get some people in another country not even from the same country it's like it's like canada does something fucked up and people go attack mexico yeah it's that fucked up it's that silly oh no that's what it's like it's like if canada attacks somebody and then they decided to attack mexico in retaliation no that's what it's like dude walk my dog, and I walk my dog past this house with these two ferocious dogs behind a fence.

I've got a little chihuahua. And so the chihuahua loves coming and standing in front of this fence and barking because what happens is the two dogs come charging down towards my chihuahua and barking at my dog, and one of them is so mad at my chihuahua that it starts biting the other one on its ass and it's the funniest thing you've ever seen it's just taking it out on on the closest thing that it can bite you know so wow so it's like also isn't this known as um isn't it kind of like what happened in afghanistan isn't that called bull baiting? Isn't that what it is? It's like, sometimes this is what really creeps me out is I think that the people that were fighting in

Afghanistan and the war that we picked with people, I think they're really good at fucking war. You know, Afghanistan's called the graveyard of empires. And I think that the people that we're up against aren't just as stupid as a lot of people would like to paint them. You know, they can't fucking, they can't even read. They're just hungry, starving people who can't even read. They don't know what they're doing. I think they kind of do know what they're doing. I think that they, I mean, uh, bin Laden said, all we have to do is like, make it seem like we're going to attack and look at how much money the United States spends. They were just like, oh, we have to work. They turned on a fucking money faucet they basically like what look at what they did look at if look at what al-qaeda did we now have uh a country where our military can arrest us

if we're considered a threat to the security of the united states so that you know what can that mean could that mean a journalism could mean anything a journalist could that mean like a wiki leaks guy could malcolm x if could malcolm x have gotten arrested and detained indefinitely well julian assange don't you think that he would get arrested oh sure if he was in america fucking other than being assassinated though well he hasn't been assassinated yet but if if they could arrest him under assassinated i mean think about what they've done with that guy you know he's in a sort of a similar situation where he has to report to a police station like every day. He has to check in and he's not allowed to go anywhere.

And his trial is like still... He hasn't been... They want to send him off to... Where was it? Norway? Is it Norway that he was charged with sexual... Sweden? Sexual misconduct?

Whatever he did. It's just some weird moment where he's in bed with a girl, apparently she's saying. Yeah. He stuck his dick in her without a condom and yeah well it seems like we're sometimes it feels like we're on the precipice where they're gonna stop even putting up this act that they're debating and deciding and using courtrooms they see that's the problem with indefinite detention because it's like let's imagine that i think i don don't know, let's imagine I think that Alex Jones

is a threat to the security of the United States because of the things that he's been saying are weakening the government, right? So let's imagine that the government, the federal government decides that Alex Jones is a real threat. And so they decide to arrest him. They've got to put him on trial. They've got to prove that he's a real threat. Was he like manufacturing fucking explosives?

Was he planning on doing something to a federal building there would be a trial and in the trial they could use evidence to show if he was really a real threat play his tapes show what he was up to now the military can just arrest him it's not even arrest because they're not putting him on trial they don't even have to tell anybody they've arrested they just come and get you and they put you away indefinitely because somebody thought you were a threat to the security of the united states that chills me dude that is so fucked up and if you think that's just going to be used for i don't know whoever it is these invisible people that i'm not even sure who they are that are lurking in New York or wherever they're at. You're crazy. If you think that's going to happen, fucking turn on some

Waco footage. Watch those fucking ATF agents torching that Koresh compound. If you think that they're just going to fucking use this law for the worst and most extreme cases, no fucking way, man. They're going to use it. They're going to use it any way that they want.

They're going to use it for drug dealers. They're going to use it for whatever they want to use it for. They're going to use it for anybody, man. I mean, we could be doing this fucking podcast from inside a FEMA camp in a few years. Think of what you saw that cop at UC Davis do to those kids that were on their knees because he thought he could because the law was on his side. They weren't moving. He told them to comply.

They did not. So he thought it was okay to spray chemicals in children's faces. And that guy is representative of human nature. He's representative of abusive power. It's very simple. It's no logic, abusive power. Yeah, I get someone has made your life a little more difficult. They made your job a little harder because now you have to look out for all these kids

and they're all in this place where you don't want them to be. But guess what, fuckface? You're not allowed to spray them in the face with fucking chemicals. That's assault. You're assaulting kids and you think you're allowed to do that because of something written on a piece of paper? Fuck you, stupid. That's dumb.

You think that's morally reprehensible just innately it's in your mind you know that's a negative thing in your mind you know that a peaceful protest with students with children who have this idealistic view of the world and you're gonna squash it while you're wearing a bulletproof vest and spray them in the face with fucking chemicals. Yeah, that's what they want. Peaceful protest, which is supposedly guaranteed us. We're supposed to have the right to assemble.

We're supposed to be able to get together, even if it is private property. You know, that is where the issue takes place. Where the fuck else should they be?

Well, no, yeah, you're supposed to be able to do that and you're supposed to be able to do a lot of and the community should embrace it and the fucking school should have a dialogue with them they're supposed to be ironing everything out you're not supposed to just you know spray people in the face with fucking chemicals but because that guy could because he wasn't just some guy

who didn't like what the kids were saying you know like if you and i went down there you know like these fucking kids are spoiled i'm'm going to fucking spray them in the face with tear gas. Yo, dude, they would lock me in jail. They would tackle me, throw me to the ground, because I don't have the authority to assault them. But this guy has the authority to assault them. That's right. Somehow or another, it's become his job.

That is exactly what's going to happen with this bill. That is exactly what's going to happen with this amount of power. You can't just give it to people and hope they're gonna be good. This should be against the fucking law. Yeah, you can't do it. You can't ever do it. You want a way

to stop terrorist threats? Let's get the fuck out of their countries. How about that? That's a great start. How about that? That's a good start. How about you stop occupying these fucking countries that don't really need us? No one needs us in Afghanistan. I want everybody's relatives. Come back fucking home.

Those people that are sending you over there are not looking out for your best interest. That's ridiculous. That's right, man. This is a time-old story. It's a timeless tale that's been told back and forth. The last edition was Vietnam, but apparently nobody fucking learned from it. Apparently, everybody just still thinks that someone's looking out for you at the top. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, someone's looking out for you, man. Yeah, well, and also it's set up in a way that for many people, they feel like it's

one of their only options is to join the military. They feel like it's going to pay for their college. They feel like it's going to pay for their college. At the UFC, there'll be Marines there. You've seen those, right? Well, we do them for the troops. We do shows for the troops. Yeah, but- And we have troops that are flown in, and we get them tickets.

Well, no, no, no. That's cool. I'm talking about outside the recruiters, where they're recruiting people. Oh, really? Yeah, they're recruiting people. I don't mean mean it's awesome to fucking at the fights yeah at the fights where they're recruiting people and you're all juiced up with testosterone after seeing a fight yeah yeah i'm gonna fucking be tricked into that that's not fair that's like a whorehouse that's open right in front of a strip club yeah you're like whoa what are you doing here man

well the one the one i saw they were doing a pull-up contest is what it was. So they were having pull-up contests. And so they're getting guys there. It's like, oh, do a fucking 100 pull-ups. Look, they're doing 100 pull-ups. And they're like, man, you could be a Marine. You're really tough. You could be a Marine.

And so they use recruiters will come on college campuses. And, you know, the United States military uses many of the same things that cults do to indoctrinate the people into it. You know, cults change your identity. They change your name. Cults will shave your head. They'll make you wear certain clothes. They make you refer to people in a very specific way. They make you use a very specific language.

In cults, people will tend to say the same thing over and over again. That's just based on whatever the leader said. So a lot of the indoctrination is very similar to when cults come out to campuses and stuff. It's a very similar thing. And what they do is they get people to join up who haven't actually considered the reality of what they're going to be doing some of them really do want to like fucking blast goddamn machine guns in the desert because it's fucking fun there's a great book by sebastian junger called war uh and it's fucking awesome have you read that book no oh my god it's so good. I've heard of it, though. Refresh my memory. He decided to write a book about, it's this deadly valley in Afghanistan. And so he decided to write.

What was his name? Sebastian Junger. Sebastian Junger. I don't know if it's Junger or Younger. He's written other things before. Yes, he has. Yep, that's right. I don't know what else, though.

But I just kept hearing about this book. So I bought it. I'm sorry. I was just trying to remember what I remembered about it. I can't. He lived with these fucking troops out there. He's badass. He's like a really tough dude who goes deep into the shit.

He's a journalist. He's a war journalist. Is he a CNN guy? Is he the guy that has the accent? I don't know. Like an Australian accent? Is that the guy? I don't think he has an Australian accent, but I could be wrong.

I only saw one interview with him. I don't remember. I don't know why I keep interrupting you. I'm trying to remember this i can't sorry so his what he did with his book which is remarkable and beautiful is he uh managed to write the book with no moral or ethical slant to it you know he's not saying like war is bad or you shouldn't go to war you should go to war war is good it's just describing the experience of war as purely as he can exactly what it's like to get hit by a roadside bomb or exactly what it's like to like be in the middle of a firefight and

how they've studied adrenaline levels when you get into firefights okay now i'm remembering i'm looking at the pictures of them online yeah i saw him on him on a CNN interview. CNN or C-SPAN. They also did a documentary about it, too. Really? About this group of people, these badass fucking Marines out in the middle of it, like in the deadliest fucking valley. It's called the Korengal Valley is what it's called. Those guys, those embedded reporter guys are fucking crazy.

They're fucking crazy, man. What a nutty job, huh? They want to go where the action is yeah man but the the experience of war for a young guy who he says there's no drug like it he says that there's nothing that you that will get you as high as being in a life or death situation where you're defending your the people around you who you are like connected to. They really are your brothers. You're like surrounded, you're with these people. See, for the troops, that's what their war is. Their war is protecting their dear friends from getting killed. And that's how they're taught. They're taught, these are your brothers. You will give up your life for your brothers. That's what they're taught.

And so you develop these intense bonds for the people around you that are formed from massive bursts of adrenaline, you know, because like when adrenaline, when your body's experiencing super dangerous situations, all the senses turn on. I think it's an evolutionary trait designed to like teach you so that you learn how to survive. Like, you know, way back when, if you were getting attacked by a tiger, you would, you know how you remember everything in a dangerous situation? Everything becomes crystal clear. survive. Like, you know, way back when, if you were getting attacked by a tiger, you would, you know how you remember everything in a dangerous situation? Everything becomes crystal clear.

You see everything. Everything's kind of in slow motion. And then afterwards, you totally remember it with this vividness that you don't remember other things. This is where a post-traumatic stress disorder, shock disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder comes from, is that people who get in really intense situations in war, they get these fucking memories burnt into their brains like tattoos they can't forget it then their mind keeps going back to it like when your memory wanders and you think back to a moment it's kind of dulled and the colors are dim and you don't remember it their memories go back to it a hundred percent so it's like they're there their hearts start racing and it fucks up your life because this thing has been burnt into your mind so in these situations you're

experiencing life at this super high voltage and you're experiencing with a group of people and you form bonds with these people that you don't have with normal with normal people in life you inform these intense bonds maybe it's like the kind of bonds you form when you're with your wife and she's giving birth or something, when you're sharing those moments with people. It's like that. So I think these effects are studied by the people whose job it is to make the troops efficient. And they use these really intense conditioning techniques and stuff that a lot of these people aren't prepared for. They don't know what they're getting into. They don't know that they're getting into more than

just defending their country. They're getting into a well-studied system of brainwashing and conditioning that transforms them from normal American citizens into people who are willing to die for whatever their commander says. you can't question what your commander says you can't question whoever the superior officer is about doing this or that you have to do it or it couldn't work if that wasn't the case if like each individual person got to decide oh i don't think i'm gonna i don't think i'm gonna shoot that fucking grenade man i don't want to do that i don't think you know what the place down there where all the people are with the guns that want to kill me i'm probably not going to go there today it's amazing how easy

it is to sell the idea that you're supposed to go kill someone because some people that are in office even though you know that everyone in office is essentially corrupted but because those people are in office they tell you you're allowed to kill these people yeah not only uh are you allowed to kill people but when you come back they'll be happy to see you yeah sure whereas like in any other time if you find another guy killed somebody like look you know like this fucking guy man he's a good dude but he went to jail for manslaughter he beat some guy to death in front of a nightclub and he's kind of fucked up went to jail for 10 years yeah you you like i don't want to be around that guy yeah that guy killed somebody but if you are around a war hero it's a different feeling sure you know and

different feelings for them too you know i mean some guys have have issues over it but i've met guys that don't i know some really smart guys that went overseas and they're happy that they did what they did 58 confirmed kills dude i know some snip Yeah. I know one dude very well that was a sniper. Well, I mean... That's got to be a weird thing, man, to look at someone from a distance and make them disappear from Earth. Blimp. Yeah. From a distance.

You know, that's what it is. I mean, that's what being a sniper is. You're not there to fucking win a target contest. You ain't playing pinball. Yeah, you're there to peck people off that they want to kill from a distance. You're there to evaporate people's heads. you explode their brain yeah you you you're a widow maker you're out there fucking making kids grow up grow up without their dad you're out there fucking making it so that like uh for the rest of their lives there's going to be sentimental

moments where a guy looks at a grainy picture of the person whose face you just turned to jelly and bone fragments. For the rest of their life, they're going to be looking at this picture being like, man, I wonder what my dad was like. I bet he was pretty fucking cool. Oh, guess what? You're not going to know. His fucking head looks like a goddamn blasted tomato that fell off a car.

His head splattered everywhere. That's it. And a professional did that who got trained in a fucking camp designed to teach people to do that in the most precise way possible it's crazy man it's amazing when you break it down like that when you look at it for what the actual physical act of it is instead of looking at it as a patriotic american it supports everything that we do overseas and you know put a fucking flag on your window that says God bless our troops. Just looking at it analytically, not even

casting a blame. Just describe it. Just describing it. Just describe it. It becomes insanity. It becomes a point where people are angry at you and they'll say you're talking shit about the American soldiers and the U.S. Army. Well, actually not even. You don't even have to. All you have to do is just describe what's

happening. You don't have to talk any shit when you describe what's happening the reality of the details is so horrific that people will interrupt you with excuses sure interrupt you all you have to do is say what's happening not even cast blame just describe it accurately well you what you're doing there see as you're walking through the laser in the museum that makes the fucking door shut in front of the diamond. It's like people have these tripwires in their brains where the moment you start talking about just the stuff we've been talking about now,

you're hitting some conditioning that's been intentionally put there. That's been intentionally put there because if it's not there, then the country can't function as an empire i mean it's got you've got to have if you're going to run an empire the population has got to have deep and intense admiration for the military force because if they don't then the military force isn't going to function because the military force is made up of the population but it becomes at a certain point time you have to wonder when does

the military force realize these guys that are paying you absolute shit money the guys that we have to do foundations for we have to do uh benefits for you know to for uh traumatic brain injuries you know like people have to help and contribute that should to me when i found out that they need money for traumatic brain injuries for hospitals to deal with these guys when they come back overseas with these horrible injuries the first thing i thought is man how is that possible they let that become an issue how much would that cost in comparison how much fucking money they're making over there how much would it cost and who's making money how about the fucking people that are making the all the equipment people selling the haliburton the

people that make the air conditioning machines. They're spending billions of dollars on air conditioning over there. Sure, laundry. They have giant tents that they're fucking air conditioning. There's a lot of money. You're telling me they don't have any money to spend on traumatic brain injury? Shouldn't they invest in the best medicine possible with the smartest scientists? How much would that cost?

Would that be cost prohibitive? If that's cost prohibitive, then that means a fucking war should be cost prohibitive you shouldn't be investing in a war that you can't take care of your fucking soldiers after it's over what the fuck is that that's like that's like driving across the country with just enough money for gas and no money for food oh it's the most fucked up thing ever man it's like and and that's the that is the the real sickening thing about it is whenever you run into people who are soldiers, like that guy. There was a coolest fucking guy at the Hermosa show we did, man, who said he listened to your podcast. And he was like a special forces guy.

And he was fucking cool, man. And every time I run into those people, they're cool in an authentic way where you know you could be good friends with these people. You could trust these people you have to have a tremendous character to get through the special forces the green beret you know say what you will about someone you know being uh you know a soldier who's you know a puppet of a giant corporation whatever to be a like a special forces soldier you need to be a bad motherfucker period yeah you do man and those people are like some of our they're some of our best people yeah they really really are they're some of our best fucking people so to send them off to bullshit wars where they're getting fucking liquefied instead of using them

for real purpose for something for like really building the country up and really do like for in the inevitable event where some shit is going to happen and we're going to need them for a real thing. You know, to send them to waste them for these fucking politicians who are the real puppets of the corporations to fucking send these heroes off to get their faces blown off in some country that they don't need to be, man. That is beyond evil. That's some reptilian, vampiric shit man it is it is it is it's it's if you know if they were eating people instead of just killing them if every person that died they ate we would be horrified that's right because everybody just dies somehow or another it doesn't seem like they're getting killed by monsters no they are they're being

killed by psychological monsters they've been killed by people who are willing to kill people in order to profit. And it's really that simple. And it doesn't seem like it should be possible in 2011. But that's the business that they're in. The guy who works at the fucking butcher shop. The guy who works at the slaughterhouse. Do you think that guy, at a certain point in time, don't you think he gets used to killing cows? The fuck yeah he does.

It's his job. But if you had to go there today and you just were alone with the cow and all this machinery and then there was a fucking manual that told you exactly how you'd pull the cow into this and lead him into this spot and then send the piston through his fucking brain and then hook him up and then gut him,

you would be so freaked out at the whole process. Worst day of my life. Because you're not used to it. Because it's not a normal part of your life. Yeah. Meanwhile, my life. Because you're not used to it. Because it's not a normal part of your life. Yeah. Meanwhile, yeah, so these people are just used to it. It just makes sense to them. Yeah. It's a normal part of their life. It's a normal part of their life, man.

It's like, when you hear about the friends of Bush that got all those deals in Afghanistan, all the contractors and shit who had like the and how much they charge for work out there that they charge like insane money insane money for this stuff and you realize oh this is just a you know the act of war it's just a way to test out some new shit technology and uh uh get get a lot of

people some work and make a lot of people really rich fuck yeah incredibly rich and the idea that everybody you know people say there's no way that people would go to war just for money. And I'm like, there's no way they wouldn't. There's no way they wouldn't. If they had to sacrifice a few thousand people here or there to make untold trillions amount of dollars. That is what it is, too. Yeah. Yeah, that's funny because if it was like, let's say there was just a group of like robed uh demonic magicians that lived in some

giant black tower and they're like we need 5 000 of your strongest and bravest men we're going to sacrifice them at the top of the tower and from their blood we will reap great energy you'd be like fuck you that's the evilest thing ever but if they're like we got to send our troops over there to defend and fight for our country suddenly you're like oh yeah it totally makes sense go ahead and do that they're gonna fight for your freedom war pigs man listen to fucking uh what is that ozzy osbourne he sums it up perfectly in that sock yeah why the war machine keeps turning yeah yeah it is a war machine and that's something that you know people have warned us about from the beginning of time you know that there's you know people that are in charge they're like everything they're they're that people have warned us about from the beginning of time.

People that are in charge, they're like everything. They're going to eventually get drunk with power, and they're going to lead you in some terrible direction, and all corruption evolves. And if it's not checked, it gets stronger and stronger. And all you have to do is just go back to the Kennedy assassination, go back to Lyndon Johnson. Go back to Richard Nixon and Watergate. And they're all crooks. Yeah.

They've always been crooks. And no one got caught. A few along the way. Nixon. A few guys got popped for a little bit of this and a little bit of that. But for the most part, everybody got away with everything. The people who drafted up the Northwoods document, they didn't go to jail. Whoever the fuck shot Kennedy, you know, you know oh it was lee harvey oswald he acted alone yep sure he did sure he did yeah all those people that heard bullets coming from behind them

they're just crazy yeah they're just silly people it was fucking probably like five or six dudes with guns you think they gotta rely on one guy and do you think that one guy really really was on his own just a lone nut yeah shut the fuck up which is why when you see john mccain pretty much directly telling rand paul that yes with this bill if someone is a threat to the security of the united States, you know John McCain. This is from the person who fucking chose Sarah Palin as his vice president. So that's how fucked up this man is. When you hear him saying, yeah, we can indefinitely arrest United States citizens who are a threat to the security of this country, you have to ask, well, what is John McCain's definition of security? I know what mine is. What's John McCain's definition of the security of this country, you have to ask, well, what is John McCain's definition

of security? I know what mine is. What's John McCain's definition of the security of this country? Because I think it's wildly different from my idea and your idea and from most people's idea of the security of the country. I think for John McCain, the security of the country means that the corporations are able to function without getting disturbed by people who have the gall or audacity to say that the way that wealth is distributed right now is unfair and is fucking up, is basically eating away and eroding the foundations of what this country is supposed to be about. I think fucking McCain would very much like to take those people and put them in some indefinite detainment if he could and eventually maybe it won't be McCain maybe it won't be this year

maybe when this bill passes it'll be 15 years before it happens but eventually people just start disappearing people vanish in the middle of the night did you hear about this fucking ridiculous thing that uh newt gingrich said gary johnson outed uh newt gingrich about uh being a pot smoker and the fact that he uh was pushing for something that would make marijuana distribution after a certain amount like with a certain uh volume would make it uh you you would be able to be put to death. Essentially. You'd be eligible for the death penalty. Who said this?

Newt Gingrich. A guy who admits that he had smoked pot. He's talking about pot dealers. Gary Johnson outed him on this. Right. There are many people right now who are in control of this country. How crazy is that?

It's evil. Can you imagine? There's someone saying that a guy who sells pot, because he sells a lot of it. What if he sells one joint? Well, one joint, no death penalty. Okay, I've sold a million joints, death penalty. Off with his head! You know, why?

Because you're giving more people the same shit? That doesn't even make any sense. I've never understood that. The idea of a volume issue makes the crime worse. Like if you're selling a couple of joints to your friends, it's like a little slap in the wrist. But if you're selling 100,000 pounds in the back of a semi, you're going to get locked up for the rest of your life.

But take it a little further back. You're talking about a fucking farmer. You're going to execute a farmer? It's agriculture, man. It's hilarious. This shit grows out of the ground you you wanna you're gonna execute a fucking guy who like who who is a horticulturist or a botanist you're just gonna you're gonna kill somebody who grew a plant it's not like he was

whipping up poison you know what that's that's the weird thing you could probably whip up 500 gallons of cyanide and distribute that around and you couldn't get the death penalty for that as deadly as that is pure deadly cyanide but if you're growing enough fucking marijuana uh newt gingrich thinks that he can he wants to execute you he wants to kill you speaker of the house newt gingrich introduced in 1997 the drug importer death penalty act of 1996 a bill would have required a sentence of death for certain importations of significant quantities of controlled substances. It would have applied to anyone convicted more than once of carrying 100 doses or about 2 ounces of marijuana across the border.

2 ounces of marijuana across the border. 100 doses. That would be the death penalty. You would be eligible for death. Yeah. What a monkey. What an old limp dick monkey just you old dumb fuck you you ancient thinking shithead you fucking rule maker you write it down and everyone knocks the hammer and then it makes it right yeah your fucking system is obviously bullshit all of

its bullshit so your laws are bullshit all your rules are bullshit all this posse commentator that's commentators whatever it is that's bullshit too it's just we just decide people write things down on paper and we decide what is right and what is wrong and then we no we're not agreeing to this we don't even get to vote on any of this there not, the idea that they can just impose this on you is nothing short of imperialism. It's nothing short of people telling other people what they can't do. Telling other people that they're not, they don't, they're not as special as them,

that they're not worth as much as them, that they don't have any rights, that they don't have any authority. And that these people who write the things down on people, on paper rather, all of a sudden have the authority over the mass of other humans that don't they're special they override right and now they're telling us that they override because they have weapons because they're going to allow the military to actually enter into civilian areas and stop uprisings so you're going to have tanks can stop operation wall street that's right

literally what happened in tiananmen square that horrified every american and we saw those kids get run over by tanks and killed it was terrifying that their government is so fucking against them that their government is so cruel and so evil that they've been willing to run over their citizens, run over the people whose hard work literally funded the empire, funded these tanks. Every person chipped in a certain amount. But because these people defy,

because these people protest, they're going to run over them with tanks and crush them on television in front of everybody. That's right. And that's the type of person that Newt Gingrich is. And that can come. That can come from this action. And that's why people don't understand, like, why are you getting so outraged about this? Why is this? Like, this is crazy. This is like a

movie. This is like Batman, okay? We're in Batman right now. And, you know, the evil people are slowly getting their grips on our government. There's some guy with a fucking mask on, and he's working for all the bad guys, and he's pretending to be a senator. And Batman has to figure this guy out, and he has to get to him. And right now, that guy looks like Barack Obama. Barack Obama's like, he's got a mask on. He's like some fucking lizard guy underneath all this. And he's just a really good actor, and he's got everybody convinced that everything's cool.

And David Icke is right, man. They're all fucking reptilians. He's Cobra Commander. It's so ridiculous. It's almost like that would fit right into the plot. If you found out Obama really was a reptilian, it would fit right in the plot. If you found out that Newt Gingrich

really was some evil reptilian that wanted to take over the reptile farm. You know, he doesn't like the way this young reptile runs things. I would run these humans correctly. You know? Gross fuck. Before you get to the reptilian part,

you can just kind of look at what they really are. Here's one thing you know about Newt Gingrich. Newt Gingrich is a murderer. He wants to kill people. Newt Gingrich feels comfortable killing people. You know that. And you also know that Newt Gingrich would make money off of that.

Newt Gingrich would make money off of killing people. The people who support war make money off of killing people. They literally transform human beings into money. They kill human beings, and that turns into money and money's energy. So what that means is they're vampires. That's what they really are. They're vampires. They convert human energy through destruction into cash. And then they use that cash to make their lives better. Just like vampires sink their fangs into people, suck the blood to stay alive. It's the same thing.

It's vampiric. It's a vampiric form of existence. And it's really fucking terrifying when you realize that it's 100% true. Not only is it 100% true, it doesn't seem to be any way to get them out. Other than them dying and young people taking their place. Young people who grew up with the internet. It seems like a certain amount of the way the system is, other than them dying and young people taking their place. Young people who grew up with the internet. Yeah, well... It seems like a certain amount of the way the system is,

it's like they've sort of just accepted it, you know? And everyone's accepted that it's just a fuckwash. But you have to think, I don't think that they're unaware of where they're fallible. I think they know where they're fallible. But they can't correct it. I think that maybe they know what they're fallible. But they can't correct it. I think that maybe they know what they're doing in a really intense way because they've had infinite amounts of money

to study human psychology and to understand how to control populations, and they got it down to a science. Man, there's a great fucking documentary on the BBC called The Century of the Self. Have you seen that? No. Edward Bernays.

It's this guy Bernays who was like Freud's cousin. And it's all about the ways that they started studying how to manipulate the perception of populations for the sake of corporations. So for example, cigarette companies approached Bernays and they're like, listen, women don't want to smoke right now because they think it's too masculine. What do you think we can do to make it so that women want to smoke? And so Bernays said, well, you need to make women feel like it's a form of activism or they're like pushing against a male-dominated culture. It's like, make it part of the women's rights movement. So what they did is they got a bunch of these girls to march during the Macy's Day Parade. And at one point, they told all the press that they were going to do this.

At one point, the women lifted up their dresses and pulled cigarettes out of their garters or whatever and started smoking in front of all these reporters who were snapping pictures. And so the reporters put that in all these newspapers. Women want the right to smoke. Now, all of a sudden, bernays did or what the cigarette companies did is they tied into the dna of the women's rights movement smoking so now smoking becomes a empowerment an empowerment and a sign of feminism and all of a sudden women start smoking it totally works so yeah yeah it totally works so so it's like so stuff like

that was a long time ago man so that was a long time ago so they started studying you know they started studying it's just like imagine like somebody who heard sheep or imagine somebody who is in charge of any kind of animal a beekeeper for example or anyone who's in charge of controlling animals they're experts they know how to like they know how to do like turkey hunters are the same way. They know how to do turkey calls. And just a perfect way to make a turkey appear and to blast it. So I think that people put a lot of money into studying human perception and the way people work. And I think maybe what we think, the amount of control that we think we wield, it's an illusion.

When I see those fucking black friday videos you know when you see the black friday videos of thousands of people stampeding through a walmart banging down the door of a fucking walmart like zombies have you ever seen that video yeah absolutely when you see that it's really to me it's like man i mean maybe you and me and a few other people have these ideas but in in general, as a herd, it seems like they've gotten people so doped up and dumbed down that I don't know that they're making too many mistakes. I think they make mistakes here and there. I think they fuck up than a grand plan. And it's more of them filling in the gaps that were available, taking advantage of a lot of situations that are available.

I don't think that it's one gigantic group with a fucking finger on all the marionette you know handles well i think it's worse than that i think it's you know the term gestalt you ever heard that term yes so i think it's the gestalt i think it's like the somehow the the super consciousness that has emerged from this group of people collaborating his crew is there's like a it's become its own thing. It's become an organizing force that's organizing towards the negative and towards the vampiric

and not organizing towards the positive. Did you listen to the... You didn't listen to Bruce Lipton? I didn't. It was really interesting. He was on the podcast yesterday and one of the things he was talking about was the importance of creating a community,

like a good community of people. You feed off their energy and those people that good community of people you feed off their energy. And those people that you're around, you feed off their energy. If they're positive, you'll actually feel better. You'll have a more positive life. And it totally makes sense. Totally. Oh, yeah. It's the most important.

That's one of the reasons that people advise spending time in ashrams or spending time around people who are meditating because from being around people who are meditating because you um from being around people who are working and also it's the same with martial arts you want if you're around people who are fighters and you see the different forms and styles that they're using that's gonna you're gonna evolve just from being around them and seeing what they're doing you're gonna learn their techniques yeah so yeah it you know it's like you well you learn techniques of thinking too you know that's one things that people always comment on this podcast.

People, oh, I get emails and tweets and Facebook messages where people are always talking about how, you know, they don't know anybody that thinks the way they think. They don't have anybody that has the interest or who looks at things in just the raw, honest, black and white view that you see. And here's my perceptions, and it's not flavored by what's politically correct. And it's not flavored by what's thought to be acceptable behavior. It's what I really think.

And I want to know if you think the same thing. And when you do that, it resonates with people. They don't know anybody else who's doing that. Right. Well, so yeah. So right. So in that same way that like this podcast has because of the incredible connection it's given me with like shit loads of fucking people uh

my evolution sped up because i'm constantly getting like amazing videos book recommendations basic things from links twitter links all the crazy Crazy stories, yeah. So it's certainly altered me for the positive. Now imagine. 100%. Me as well. As I've been a part of it, as doing the podcast, being a part of it, it's completely enhanced my perception of things, and people have cleared up things that I didn't understand before.

People have sent me alternative points of view that also should be considered. There's so many interesting bits of information that keep coming at you from all these different forms right it's great it's creating a feedback loop what i was getting at is that this what these people have put together with the people involved in the military industrial complex and put together is a very high level evil version of that. That's it, man. They have a high-level evil version of thinking where everyone is thinking along the same way and you have to make sacrifices and you've got to crack some eggs to make an omelet.

And all of this thinking is put into a mindset and that mindset is enforced into the troops, beaten into their head, supported through the ranks, applied to corporations. And many of them, and it's really like, when you consider that many of the people at the top of the power structures are fundamentalist Christians. It's hilarious. Now imagine this.

Imagine that they weren't fundamentalist Christians. Imagine they were just, you know, cultists, and they believed in a dark god. they were just, you know, cultists, and they believed in a dark god. They worshipped a dark god, and this dark god was a child sacrificer, and it sacrificed its own son at one point, spilled the blood of its own son out of some sense of obligation or power, and that they were praying and worshipping daily to a dark god who was planning revenge on the majority of the human race, and was right now at this very moment planning and getting ready to destroy the planet with plagues and different horsemen and trumpets and weird like crazy fucking angels that were going to fly down and kill and poison the waters

of the earth and they're worshiping this god daily they go to church and worship a God that wants to destroy the planet every fucking day. They pray to this God, oh Lord, give me the courage to lead today so that I may be prepared for when you return and destroy the planet. That's who they fucking pray to, man. That's God. They pray to God. They pray to a God that wants to wipe us out, throw us in hell, kill the fucking homosexuals, destroy the majority of the planet. So all that's left is a few John McCain style honkies with their feet in a river of blood waving up at Gabriel or worshiping God, like walking down streets of gold, waving American flags. That's the freaks who are, a lot of them are running this fucking country, man. That ain't good. That's not good. That's bad. I don't want anyone having access to a nuclear arsenal that worships a god

that's planning on, at some random time, blasting the planet I'm living on and wiping out the majority of the people because he's pissed about what they did to his fucking hippie kid 22,000 years ago. Like, come on, man. Forget about it. I wasn't alive back then. I can't help it that they fucking threw your kid up on a cross. I had nothing to do with it.

Why are you coming back to kill their descendants, you weirdo? Give us a fucking break. You're God. Travel back in time and pluck him off the fucking cross, man. Yeah, and isn't he controlling this whole game? Doesn't he have a... Can't he just come down and give us better directions? He just gives you this game, and you just fuck this game up,

and you're supposed to read some old manual on how to play the game, and it's interpreted through three different languages, and it was just a spoken word thing for a thousand years before that. So who knows how much of it's fucking valid. And this is how you're playing the game, and you're fucking up along the way.

And everybody's telling you, you keep fucking up. And he's going to come and he's going to take you away. He's going to take you away. And he's going to put you in a dark, dark place forever. But there's these thoughts. And they have these ideas and these urges. And they seem to be natural. You better suppress those.

But I want to fuck. I want to fuck all the time. You're going to go to hell. Don't do it. You're going to go to hell. This guy's an asshole. I want to kill him. You can't do it you're gonna go to hell this guy's an asshole i want to kill him you can't do it you can't kill him and that's the most amazing thing that these same people all of a sudden you're allowed to kill them if some sanctioned group says absolutely

you can even say you're doing it for god may god bless you all wow god god is blessing us to go jackson people we don't know their god their god i call their god loon loon and it's this weird fucking creature reminds me of an hp lovecraft demon spirit if you change the name of their god well their god doesn't have a name that's a nameless it's a nameless god it's like out of fucking conan it's a nameless it's an invisible nameless god and they worship the invisible nameless god and and and part of worshiping the invisible nameless god is uh sending kids off to war and fucking letting the kids kill people and another part of worshiping the invisible nameless god is making it so gay people can't get married the invisible nameless one you know what he hates joe what he fucking butt sex hates

butt sex damn why do you make it feel so good? The one with no name. He curses the gays. The one with no name. He doesn't like butt sex. He like really upsets him. You know the Little Richard song, Tootie Fruity? Used to be Tootie Fruity, good booty.

No, it didn't. Tootie Fruity, good booty. That's why Little Richard is damned. He was talking about some booty, son. He's eternally damned by this fucking loon loon. Tootie fruity good booty. Evil man. He's an evil man.

Did you see that dumb cartoon I made, by the way? No. Jesus Heals Gay. No. I redid. I took an old Christian cartoon of Jesus healing a leper and just replaced the words with him healing a homosexual. Oh, pull that up.

Pull that up. Pull it up. Listen, I did it in like four hours so it ain't looking at professional fucking this ain't gonna be no have to give me uh this ain't gonna be no pixar don't you know have to qualify at first you're so humble no i will when you i have to be this is not a hey we should talk about um that sketch that you did that's like that i got you i'm gonna get you sucker oh yeah please let's clear let's clear that out because uh i know for a fact that duncan did not remember that thing when he made

that sketch and i also know because i didn't remember that sketch in that movie either duncan made a video with natasha a hilarious video what's it called uh it's called falling apart falling for adam t and the idea of the the video, there's a scene where the girl starts taking off fake parts. And there's a scene in I'm Gonna Get You Sucka where the same thing happened, where he's alone with this girl. Keenan Ivory Wayans is alone with this chick, and she starts taking off all these parts.

I completely forgot about that, even though I'm a big fan of Keenan Ivory Wayans, and I know I saw that movie. I completely forgot about it. And I know that Duncan did not know about it. Because when, first of all, I know Duncan. He would never do something like that. You're one of the most, you have some of the most clear artistic integrity

out of almost anybody that I've ever met. Thanks, man. You're 100% legit in what you do, to the point where you wouldn't even do the Pauly Shore reality show. That's true. He walked away from a money job on a television show where he was going to be on a reality show just to stick to my integrity thing i would like to say there was no money it was it wasn't like i was walking away from oh for sure it would have benefited you but it benefited you

i thought i thought you'd get paid for it you weren't getting anything no money at all i don't think that's legal i don't even think that's legal to put you you on television, I think they have to give you some after minimum. No, that's what I thought because it was a documentary. Technically, they weren't going to pay. It's a documentary, but it was all scripted. Everything you did was scripted. That was my feeling. It was all scripted.

That was my feeling. But they do that with all these reality shows. They create things for them to do. Well, I think in the long run, maybe someone could have contested it or something. But really, if there had been money, I would have still walked away.

That could have been a good show. It could have been a good show if it wasn't what it was. It was a Pauly Shore showcase. It could have been, was like a real realistic viewpoint of all these dudes who were doing stand-up who were out there scratching and clawing.

Yeah, totally. And that real intense creative environment that was that comedy store, man. There was some, you know, when we were around back then, the comedy store with you and me and Diaz and Ari, and, you know, there's a lot of good guys there. Dude, I got to tell you, man, it's fucking great right now. I mean, like. I believe you.

It's fucking really good there right now. The crowds are, it's packed. It's got a really cool vibe but like but that that fucking poly thing man it was like there was a lot of reasons that i i walked away from that and and one of the biggest ones um aside from the fact that i did not want i desperately didn't want to be in it was that i had gotten trapped at that job as a talent coordinator i'd been doing that job for a long time and i needed a way out and it was just a perfect exit mechanism for me and it was so that show was like i i'm so happy that that show happened because it got me the fuck out of there man you can get stuck at a desk man yeah you can get stuck at a job but as far as the wayans

brother movie stuff goes oh yeah so let me let me just explain it um the the scenes are very similar but duncan sort of has a completely different point to it but look the idea of someone having something fake i mean how many movies have there been when a guy grabs a girl's hair and it's a wig and she's bald with like four or five scraggly hairs there's been like a bunch of those yeah it's a naked gun yeah i a naked gun. Yeah. I mean, it's just one of those, it's like a comedy device. It's almost like a spit take that someone's got a fake leg or a fake arm.

But both videos, the King of Everyway ones and yours, took it to the utmost degree, which is, by the way, what you naturally do when you make something funny. You always, the more you beat on it, the funnier it gets.

And it's essentially the same joke well that what what um so where that idea came from that i did and i i have seen i'm gonna get you sucka and i did not remember that scene and if i had i never would have done it that's a scary thing right when an idea is in your head and it comes out you're like god damn it that was too easy well no see here's the thing. What that idea came from was from watching Natasha take her earrings off. And I was watching her take her earrings off. And then I started thinking about how when you're in a relationship with someone or you start dating somebody, part of it is you begin to disassemble their personality. Part of it is you begin to disassemble their personality.

The more you get to know someone when you've been with someone for a very long time, you're in a relationship or you're married, you get to know the deepest part of them. You end up getting to know very, very deep parts of them that are hidden by their personalities and things that they don't ever display in public or maybe they don't even know about. You get to know the deepest levels, man. When you've been having sex with someone for a long time and you know like the

deepest level of a person and you've been living with someone so anyway i was thinking like man it's so weird how that's what it's all about is basically just like plucking away the different pieces of someone until all they are is just this primal spark that you're fucking so that was the idea that's where it came from. That's what you think of when you look at Natasha taking off her earrings? Yeah, I was pretty high. Man.

But so anyway, that's where the idea came from. We had to pitch it. We pitched it to Adam TV. They never. Keep talking. I'm going to peak. Keep talking it we pitched it to adam tv they never they keep talking i'm gonna keep we pitch it to adam tv they didn't know about the uh they didn't mention the wayans thing uh we made the fucking thing and then immediately a few people posted links to the wayans brothers and i was like god fucking damn it man is it really really similar because i i saw the movie but i barely remember it i i i think that it's... I just remember a fake leg or something.

It's the exact same device which is disassembling a woman but the ending's totally different and the point of the thing's totally different. But to me what was really surprising and intense about it was that some people really use that against me in kind of like a really angry fucking way.

On Twitter and YouTube? No. I didn't even know this happened. I got some shitty messages from people. But it's like, if I'm going to steal, right? If I'm going to steal. I'm going to steal something. I'm going to steal a sketch.

I'm going to steal fucking something. You know what I'm not going to steal it from? I'm not going to steal it from a fucking Wayans movie. know like why it's so obscure it's probably easier to hide i'm gonna get you sucka well it's one of the most popular you have to um you have to consider it it is possible that you had it in your head and that you forgot oh well sure i of course but that shit happens to me all the fucking time it happens man but here's the thing a lot of a lot of jokes are a form of math it's like an equation if you take a premise it's an equation and if you break that equation down it has natural logical connections in that equation

and a lot of comedic minds are gonna yes if you give them a premise they're gonna come up unfortunately though you saw that other one first yes i did so that kind of factors out it could have been juiced in my brain but i still though there it is like uh wayans has got a transvestite i think it's a transvestite someone she appears hot at first and he takes her apart and she's not hot as i recall from it he flees and that's it uh you know what i mean it's like it is the same thing but it's not the same he's not an absurdist yeah i mean you're it's like you know it's like saying that it's not the same joke because you can't really defend it though because it is exactly the same joke you know i'm saying like if someone was someone stole the joke from you but then just twisted it into

that and i know you didn't steal it that would be no there would be no you know there's like there's no like no excuse you can't say well i did it differently of course you thought of it on what can i fucking do it's like it's it's there on the internet there's nothing i do about it and like that you're not even mexican my name's ned i know man but it's um you know what i'm saying though it's like it's like it parallel thinking is just it's unav. And what it is, you've got to go, oh, shit, I didn't. Whoops. Listen to me, Wayans. I'm going to steal your fucking sketches from now on.

I've made the decision. Don't say that. Someone will cut that. I'm just kidding. I love you. Yeah, it's going to just echo. We're going to edit that part out. Don't unleash the hackers, Joe.

They're going to cut out that part. You just fucked up, kid. Yeah, you just really fucked up. Yeah, you said something you should never say ever, even in jest. Why say rude, mean things and pretend? That's a tired form of comedy. Give me a break. You know what's fucking funny, dude?

What? The soup. I did the soup this morning. That show's funny, dude. I did not know. They had a bunch of really funny sketches where they were making fun of the chick from Real Housewives. I was sober.

Stone cold sober. They were making fun of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, like one of the crazy chicks that's kind of cracked out in the show. One of the writers does a hilarious version of this chick. I just guessed by seeing it. It was hard to hear because it was really loud in there. But I asked her right away. I was like, that's the girl from Real Housewives.

She's like, yeah. And I high-fived her. It was like really funny shit, man. that Joel McHale dude he's fucking funny he's got great delivery and the writers are really funny man they had some funny shit on Kim Kardashian and dude I watched this one show this access morning show where this guy they were goofing on it it's on tonight's episode you have to watch this because you can't believe this is real. This guy is reading from his Blackberry, and he's talking about his help, his Mexican help. We gave him a chance to serve the other day.

He'd never served before. Here you go. Here's your shot. Oh, my God, dude. It's so gross. And then he reads the guy's text in broken English. Oh, me leg shaking all day. He reads it in like a mexican accent oh dude it's it's like you watch

it you go my god someone pull that guy aside and give him a mushroom trip yeah someone give that dude a mushroom trip in a mirror and sit him in a room and tell him to think about his life oh fuck man yeah it's pretty disturbing that's just that's it's so clueless like you can hear him doing it's just so clueless it you can hear i'm doing it's just so clueless it's like so weird that you don't you don't think that people are going to find that really gross it really makes me believe in the idea that like there's like two species happening right now like humans are differentiating and like some humans are jumping away from the uh what what most humans are i think some people are splitting away.

Because for me to be in a mind state where I thought like that or I acted like that or I read someone's text in some stereotypical Mexican accent to humiliate them, if I was... He didn't even think he was humiliated. I think I'd have to have a head injury.

And imagine if I started doing that. You'd be authentically worried about you think i'd had a breakdown or something this is how this person lives every day of their fucking life so it's like who what is that who what kind of being is that is that's that's a human i know it's a human but it's not the same kind of human i am that's a different kind of human that's a full of shit human that's a full of shit human that's a i don't know what it is how old is it how old is that thing how old is that guy he's in his 30s so this is a guy in his 30s he's managed to get to his 30s and he's still like that nothing's knocked him off the path he's never you know when you see someone like that you know a few things you know that he's never smoked pot

probably he's probably definitely never taken acid never eaten mushrooms probably he's never heard really good music and he's like he's like one of those salamanders that never really goes through the transformation because the water never reaches a certain alkaline level yeah that's what he is man you know you ever hear those yeah there's certain you know there's certain animals that never metamorphosize yeah the word yeah there's certain animals that if the conditions are incorrect or if there's pollution in the environment all kinds of different factors have to be taken into account otherwise they won't make the connection he's like a puppy that's eyes didn't open or ears

didn't open you know it's its eyes stayed fucking shut it's a fucking it's just it's a silly hippie argument that everybody needs psychedelics but you know you know, it's not everybody. I'm not saying everybody needs them, but goddamn, a lot of people could use them. A lot of people. If they would just study them and they would just distribute them through experts, imagine what this world would be like if we had centers where you could go as a young man

to have a psychedelic experience to get a broader view of the universe. And someone takes you in, and they do blood work on you and make sure you're healthy and then they sit you down you watch documentaries and you take a class and when you graduate from the class and the class is all about pharmacology and the way that different things interact with your body and when you're done with this class you feel educated and you feel like you can make your own decision whether or not you want to try this and if you do want to try it then they have a ceremony and every kid goes in there and you all

with proper meditation techniques proper education as to what the the history of the use of these substances is and the the history and the anecdotal evidence that it may have been responsible for the actual birth of religion that this might be what religion is all about it might be psychedelic experience if we could have that we could have communities where we did that, where you'd have a big giant football field full of people that are doing mushrooms and are putting out positive energy and are there and are balanced, healthy people

that want to unite together as a species and want to embrace each other and help each other and no one ever get greedy, but let's all work together and do this together. And you could have a football field filled with people doing this, a stadium filled with people doing this. That would fix the world. And it sounds ridiculous.

It sounds like you're saying mushrooms would fix the world. What would do it better? What could possibly have that effect? Education? Education doesn't necessarily get through your subconscious. Education doesn't necessarily get through your subconscious. Education doesn't necessarily get through your programming. Sex. Education doesn't necessarily get through anything in your life

that's really ingrained as a behavior pattern. It doesn't always. You could tell people all day, like Brian, that cigarettes cause cancer, and this silly goof is going to keep buying cigarettes. Probably more than mushrooms. No, no, it wouldn't. Mushrooms would do it better than anything.

Sex is just... There's no enlightenment involved in that, no, it wouldn't. Mushrooms would do it better than anything. Sex is just, there's no enlightenment involved in that, Brian. It's silly. The psychedelic experience itself is important. You need to be humbled. It's not just, you know, everybody fuck everybody and feel good about it. Yeah, we've talked about this before

when Duncan was on, and like, you know, that might be good for like five out of ten people, and the other five, they're so terrified they're not going to ever leave the house again. That's not necessarily the case because if it was done correctly through some sort of

a shamanic center where they actually evaluated people and taught them and educated them, you'd probably be able to weed out the people who were fucked up. And you'd probably be like, dude, reality itself is a little fucking slippery for you. Maybe you should not be doing this. Maybe we should look into like Ritalin for you.

Maybe we should, you know what I'm saying? I mean, a lot of people are 100% anti-depressants. They're like, fuck that dude. You're ruining your brain chemistry. Fuck that dude. Don't let them change your brain. I know several people where it's literally changed their life for the better

and saved their life maybe even. I know several people. So I would never several people so i would never say that i would never say that well man there's no fucking i mean the thing is there's no rules it's like you this is the main rule is it's this is your incarnation and you get to do what you want with it the idea is to like as much as you can expand in your your levels of happiness and your awareness so that you can feel connected and good in this existence and and there are a lot of tools to do that some of the tools take a long fucking time to do and i think like when mckenna was talking about mushrooms being the most obvious tool to transform the to create like a huge wide-scale transformation on the planet he

recognized that there's not a lot of time that's's what he was thinking. It's not like we've got a ton of fucking time to create like meditation temples or to spread good information or to spread some new religion. There's no time for that shit. You would, if you really wanted to transform these weird people who worship invisible homophobic child-sacrificing gods, if you wanted to transform people who feel comfortable dropping bombs on other people, then the quickest way to do it would be to give them a substance that allowed them to connect to each other and to the earth and to develop an instantaneous form of empathy unlike anything else. And then when they came back to, it'd be much more difficult to think about, to perceive what their weird invisible God in the same way.

Yeah, it's almost like we're moving in a direction, in a terrible direction, because we don't have the proper ingredients. So because we don't have the proper ingredients, we can't feel what we're doing. It's almost like we have a numb arm probing into the darkness, and that numb arm is scratching the fuck out of reality. And we don't know it because we just can't feel it. But if we could just feel it, if we could add this other ingredient into the mixture that is life, well then, okay, now all your pieces are in order

and now you can see and feel what you're doing. Because the big problem with human beings when it comes to pollution, when it comes to destroying the atmosphere, when it comes to the idea of, you know, what these nuclear disasters, we're not feeling it. We don't feel it. We it comes to the idea of these nuclear disasters. We're not feeling it. We don't feel it.

We don't feel the damage that we're doing. We don't feel the garbage patch in the ocean. We don't feel anything when you throw, when you take a water bottle and then you toss it in the garbage can. You did your job. I'm done. I'm done.

I have no connection with this anymore. And then we don't feel when it goes into the ocean and becomes a fucking patch that's floating that's as big as texas we we don't feel that and that that is a lack of a connection that's a missing thing that's an animal that doesn't have all of its ingredients well it's fucking blind that's what it is it's blind and everyone's stumbling around blind and their their focus is uh on material gain and their focus is shit that can, if it does make you happy, it's a form of very transient, temporary happiness that's used for a lot of people. It's usually followed by like depression and stress, like people who buy shit they can't

afford getting the debt to the banks and become slaves. And so, yeah, man, people are, people have lost the initial or original connection with the spirit of the earth. If you think about ayahuasca and the people drinking it in the jungle and communing with the mind of nature and then getting direction from the tribe from the mind of nature. And for people to think this is hippie bullshit, when scientists first came to the Amazon and discovered ayahuasca,

they tried to call it telepathy. That's what they were going to try to talk, that's what they were going to name it as, because of the fact that they were able to have these telepathic experiences with each other, and they all communicated about having shared visions and shared hallucinations. So they were going to call it telepathine,

but the chemical in it was already named haramine, or whatever the substance was. So they had to stick with the name haramine. Well, see, this substance, I think, for these people has been a form of spiritual compass. It points in the right direction. It sets you straight. It's like a tuning fork for your soul. But it's amazing that talking about this, how did this happen?

Talking about this is ridiculous. talking about this how did this happen talking about this is ridiculous talking about this is absolutely silly i feel nervous when we start talking about mushrooms can change the world because i'm like who the fuck am you know what what is this idiot saying you know what kind of nonsense is he saying meanwhile you're compelled meanwhile you're compelled to say listen i know it sounds stupid i know i'm a goofy looking fuck i know i'm the fear factor guy yeah i know you know who the hell am i i'm barely got through high school went to three years of college where i halfway paid attention but i'm saying that we might be overlooking one of the biggest tools that human beings have ever had for evolving and developing and that might be why the

fucking train is off the tracks and into the woods. It might be that the animal isn't balanced. And it might be that the animal literally developed eating all this stuff. The animal might have become consciousness and aware from being a savage eating all this stuff. It might be, you know, we might have a symbiotic relationship on this earth with certain plants that we've made illegal we might need them in order to be aware of our potential the potential harm that we can do the potential good that we can do there's no value of positivity there's no might about it the value of positivity is so important when you're on a substance that is where all bad trips come from

all bad trips come from some negativity whether it's a paranoia whether it's a fear whether it's a bad memory that you have that you're trying to avoid shitty behavior that haunts you that you can't correct whatever the fuck it is that triggers the bad trip it's always a negative thing well what what it is is it's what what's happening is when you're when you're taking a psychedelic you're being given a glimpse at yourself from a distance that maybe you haven't obtained. And meditation will give you that distance. It gives you a form of intense mindfulness. And so all of a sudden, you're able to see,

I think, the root of whatever pattern your life has become. And the root is a feeling. And that feeling, for a lot of people, can be a negative feeling. And so that's when people say, I don't like smoking pot, man, because it makes me get introspective i get paranoid and nervous it's like no pot is not making you paranoid pot is showing you the paranoia that exists deep within you that's causing you to act fucking weird and causing your uh relationships to

be a little more dulled than they need to be and causing your actions to be a little muted because you're afraid of the reaction that people are going to have to you because you're still stuck in survival. You want to survive so bad that you're scared and you've covered that up with all the different whatever clothes you've decided you're going to wear in this incarnation and your tattoos or whatever you've learned. But deep within that, behind all that for a lot of people is something that you could easily term negative energy. But I think it's fear. Yeah, it's fear. And psychedelics show you that. And so the way to trip in these centers that you're talking about, and if they're really these centers were there, then when someone started experiencing a difficult trip, then these people would, instead of getting

them away from that, they'd, in the best way possible, try to turn the person to it. Like, what is that fear? Is that fear real? Because the joy of a psychedelic is when you have the balls to go into the darkness, and all of a sudden you realize that darkness was a complete illusion. All the darkness and negativity and spooky shit and guilt and fear and crap you thought was inside you and all the bad things you thought you've done and all the things that you feel terrible about secretly, you realize that's nothing. It's an illusion. The universe loves you. You're completely embraced by the entire universe. You're an incremental part of the functioning of the cosmos and you're an incredible, wonderful, perfect

fucking thing. And when you get a glimpse of that, it's the the cosmos, and you're an incredible, wonderful, perfect fucking thing. And when you get a glimpse of that, it's the greatest feeling ever, because you're healed. Because that's what true healing is, man. True healing is realizing you were never sick in the first place. True healing is realizing you just had some fucking, yeah, a little bit of dust on the windshield, man. You had to brush it off, you know? That's all. And that's what psychedelics do for you. And you know what else does that for you? Really good therapy. But really good therapy costs a lot of money and it takes a long fucking time.

And you have to be open to it. You have to be open to change and smart. And you have to have the ability to recognize your own faults. Some people just have this weird shield between them and reality where they become successful because they never admit guilt. And they just press forward and they rationalize every single thing they do. Right. And they just press forward. And that becomes a mindset just as much as, you know, what we're talking about.

Yeah. That becomes just how work is done, you know. And that's how militaries work. That's the only way they work. You have to fall into a mindset. Yeah. Well, yeah, that's how, I mean, that's the thing. We've all fallen into a mindset.

And a lot of the fundamentalist Christians, they've fallen into these rituals and patterns, but they don't have a real connection anymore. So they're faking it, or they're actually just taking cues from really charismatic lunatics. Wouldn't it be awesome if the military really was our bravest and boldest, who wanted to protect us and who were led by the the most moral and intelligent people on the planet yeah and that these really truly were heroes and in case some shit goes down they're never puppets they're only heroes there's no doubt whatsoever that they're only doing the right thing wouldn't that be beautiful yeah they'd be like celebrities wouldn't that be beautiful

well they you know they should be if they. Most of them really want to be heroes. Most of them really want to protect. It's the people that are putting them there. Those are the problems. The people that are pointing you and goes, those are the bad guys. Go get them. I'll be over here with a pencil to write down how many you kill.

And if you do a good job, I give you a shiny piece of metal and I stick it to your fucking chest. It's so fucking sad man it's so sad and disturbing and you it's like it's it's so easy to get caught up in in that you know it's so easy to get caught up in the macro uh of of the of the darkness that's in the world but man i think that the trick is to like only spend a little time on that and spend more time fucking working on the real basic things in your life that you can do right now to make things a little better.

Because a lot of people will focus on chemtrails when they need to be focusing on stopping smoking. I had a person describe chemtrails to me. Oh, no. Smoking a fucking Marlboro. Talking about, man man they're fucking dropping this shit on us that's sickening us making us stupid

it's like dude you know you're inhaling you're inhaling cancerous smoke created by a fucking corporation that's making money that's making money off of killing you who cares about some fucking Kim Trails brother you gotta stop smoking first you know what I mean that's making money off of killing you. Who cares about some fucking chemtrails, brother? You've got to stop smoking first.

You know what I mean? That's probably way worse. Many more people are dying from cigarette smoke than they're dying from chemtrails. Yeah, so those are the steps. But people, it's a really simple thing to do. You get caught up in the macro. Instead of being like, you know what? Here's a thing you can try.

Instead of worrying about chemtrails, why don't you fucking get a good recipe book, a raw recipe book. Try eating raw for a few days and see if that makes you feel better cut out some fucking uh cut out eating processed food for a few days not forever just for a few days well the issue is there a lot of them are really misinformed and they really do believe that there's this constant aerial bombardment but one of the reasons why they believe it is because they have done some chemical spraying on people and they've done it against people's will it's a fact sure you know it's not it's i don't believe it's happening every day i think a lot of what people are seeing is called contrails it's a natural thing that happens when jet engines encounter moisture in the

atmosphere was explained to me by a pilot in great detail but let's go fight the chemtrail pilots when we've got a clear head because we haven't been eating shitty food. And when we feel like fit because we've been exercising, that's when we can start waging the real war. My point is the reason why they believe that there's chemtrails is because there have been chemtrails. There really have been. The government has experimented.

I have no doubt. I don't think they're doing it all the time, but it has happened. Not only has it happened happened but in certain states um like god was it georgia i forget what state it is um anyway the point is that it's it's literally like written into insurance laws like there's there's things about you know like chemicals spraying that like uh you know you insure against them i i believe i'm you know i'm speaking out of uh out of hand right here because i don't know the exact details of it it seems a little blurry in my mind right now where i'm trying to pull it up but i remember

whatever it was this little piece of legislation whether it was a something about insurance or not whatever it was it was written down it was essentially saying that there will be weather controlled experiments yeah that they will do something to alter the weather and we know that in abu dhabi they made it rain 50 times last year wow so they essentially made it rain once a week with a plane flying over i think it's aluminum oxide and barium or something i forget what it is that they they spray into the air but they spray it and somehow or another it makes these clouds form and it makes it makes rainfall in the desert in abu dhabi man it's amazing i mean it's incredible so if we know that they're doing that well they gave people they didn't learn how to do it over there is my point they probably practice some shit here and they you know and they've probably been doing it here

in in small doses for a long time you know well yeah i mean like i pretty much anything that i found out about the government doing i wouldn't be that surprised like no no matter when you say syphilis you're talking about the tuskegee yeah they fucking blasted they what is the exact details they infected there's a bunch of black people right ask me that i think what it was was they told some that they're being treated and they weren't being treated with any medication they lied to them to see the degenerative effects of the disease dude on this century of the self thing there there's a they were interviewing the fucking main psychologist for the cia during the 60s and the 70s and he's just talking about all the shit they did with lsd experiments where they like white people's

pasts away they would blast you on acid and give you electroshock therapy to try to fucking erase your personality. Like they've done all kinds of crazy shit and they probably are continuing to do crazy shit. And there's a really good chance that when you're driving through any public space, you're being bombarded with subliminal messages and all the billboards that you're seeing that are turning you into a mad, into a, into a fucking rabid consumer that only wants to eat and drink and doesn't ever want to think about anything more than getting a raise and getting drunk at night. And it may be that this is all intentional. But what I'm saying is, if you worry about that too much, then you're not going to do your dishes and you're going to have roaches in your fucking apartment. And then you're going to

start feeling depressed. And then you get really caught deep in the trap to the first thing you have to do is like come to your senses that's the first thing and the easiest way to come to your senses is to like stop taking the fucking stop putting the pills in your mouth you know in like movies about mental asylums inevitably the hero will always start putting the pills under his bed and have that little line of pills under his bed and have that little line of pills under his bed. And all of a sudden he's come to his senses again and he can plan his escape. But until you fucking stop taking the pills, you can't plan your escape. So it's like, okay, yeah, maybe there's some fucked up shit happening in the world,

but you got to stop smoking. Maybe there's some fucked up shit happening in the world, but you should run a few times a week. Maybe there's fucked up shit happening in the world but you should run a few times a week maybe there's fucked up shit happening in the world but you need to take a shower brush your teeth floss get so that you're get clean and healthy and then when you have more of a clear head then you can start making real moves and really analyzing what may be happening but until then you're all foggy and fucked up when you see michael moore don't you want to go dude yeah forget about the government yes all right take care of yourself son yeah you got to deal with the fucking tyranny in yourself you got to deal with the fucking demonic senators and congressmen inside of you that keep telling you to eat a fucking cheeseburger and a bag of doritos before you go to bed stop those fucking people first veto their bills that

are coming from inside your heart is that a self-hate thing? Is that an I don't care about my own safety thing? It's just like I'm obsessed with my goals. I'm obsessed with my interests. I don't care about my own personal safety to the point where I'm just going to overfeed myself. Yeah. No rational thinking. Just completely given to impulse. I mean, I think what it is is it's like a literal rut.

It's like you've been going in this circle for so long that you can't get out. You're like a truck whose wheels are stuck in the mud. So you just are stuck in this endless pattern. That's what we do. Humans get stuck in patterns, you know? And so the idea is to get knocked. You've got to knock yourself out of that pattern somehow. And the quickest way to do that is with a psychedelic.

If you don't want to take a psychedelic, then just seriously start. I know this sounds super hippie. Start fucking juicing. Drink healthy. Eat healthy. Just eat healthy. I don't care what you eat. Eat fucking healthy.

Vitamix. Don't juice. Three days. Vitamix is the shit. Vitamix. Vitamix is way better than juicing. You're doing that right now, right? Yeah.

I just, I got this fucking. It's the best way to force yourself to eat a ton of vegetables, dude. You just drink it. You know, you think about about how much I eat. I have one big cucumber, like six stalks of celery, five big giant leaves of kale, and a big chunk of ginger and a pear. And I just blast all that shit. There's no way I'm going to sit and eat all that. Fuck the ginger, man.

You're so boring. I love ginger. I love the ginger. It's too spicy. I like it. You know what else you can throw in there that's good, man? What? Fucking jalapeno.

Ooh. It's so fucking good. I've been dropping jalapenos in the blender with almost everything I made. I made a fucking chocolate mousse the other day in my blender. With jalapenos? When I threw a jalapeno in there, delicious. Kind of like spicy chocolate. Wow.

You can put it in fucking anything. You can put it in like, you can put, anyway. Dude, you need a show on the food channel. You can do anything in fucking anything. You can put it in like, you can put it, anyway. Dude, you need a show on the food channel. You can do anything with a jalapeno. I put a jalapeno in my asshole today. The chop, what is the slap chop? You could be a slap chopper. Jalapeno spokesman.

With jalapenos in the slap chop. I'd gladly do it. You'd be like Duncan the jalapeno guy. You could have a book. I'm Duncan the jalapeno guy showing you. You could put jalapenos in anything. Willie put it in toothpaste. He's crazy.

I put it in my baby's food. When it turns out that jalapenos inside toothpaste kills bacteria that even Listerine can't get to. And this is like an ancient way that the Mayans used to clean their teeth. They chewed on habanero peppers. I love it. I love it. Imagine if that's true. If it kills all the poison.

Why, jalapenos? Well, isn't that one of the things that Japanese people like to use wasabi with sushi? Because wasabi apparently has an effect on any sort of bacteria. I believe it. That you might. Yeah, I mean, it's fucking blowtorch. Shit's hardcore, man. Yeah, snort wasabi.

Good luck. I always fuck that up, too, man. I always, always fuck it. Yeah, inevitably, I take a giant bite or two. I love it. I love wasabi i ate up a whole jar of habanero um salsa last night i had chips in this big jar of like it would from the moment i ate the first bite i was like god damn this is hot i couldn't stop i was sweating

you never get fire shits or anything oh yeah i do so you just take it you're like all right i know i'm gonna kill myself take it dude it, dude. I do a fucking I get in a horse stance. Ride over the bull. I'm just thinking as like, remember in the movie Kung Fu? When the flaming pot's in front of him and one side has a dragon and the other side has a tiger and he picks up the pot with his forearms.

That's fucked up. I don't think it's a coincidence that I have a tiger on one arm and a fucking dragon on the other. And I was a fan of the Kung Fu show. Well, well. Well, well. How about that?

Yeah. See, it's like with I'm going to get you, sucker. I stole that. I stole that without even thinking about it. It was an accident. I'm just saying, man. I'm admitting I stole my tattoos from Kung Fu. But I think that's what the motivation was. Well, it's a noble, noble motivation.

You hate Kung Fu, right? There's some Kung Fu guy who's mad at me. He said that the guard is actually called Baby Monkey. It's called Baby Monkey. It's hilarious. It's really funny. Where do you find that? Eddie Bravo sent it to me. Eddie Bravo sent it to me. It's called Baby Monkey. It's hilarious. It's really funny. Where do you find that? Eddie Bravo sent it to me.

Eddie Bravo sent it to me. It's fucking hilarious. You want to play it? All right. Play it. I'll tell you what part it, because I tweeted it, what part the guy starts talking shit about me. But he's one of those dudes.

And this is the truth. Listen, there's a lot of people that got upset at me because I said things about kung fu. And there's a lot of people, because upset at me because I said things about kung fu. And there's a lot of people because I said kung fu is kind of bullshit. And a lot of it is just like a bunch of people practicing things. Like if I come at you like this, what would happen? I would move to the side and I would attack this way. It's like a one step. In Taekwondo, we still have things called one steps.

And what it is is you would throw a kick and the other guy would counter. And what it was is to imprint into your mind what to do once you start sparring and then eventually you start sparring but when you start sparring that's when techniques really get weeded out and that's when you understand what is the most effective use of energy and force what techniques work the best what techniques are really truly applicable and what techniques are really kind of frivolous and a waste of time? There's better alternatives. Well, Kung Fu never did that. They didn't have all the sparring. Kung Fu didn't go and enter into an ultimate fighting championship where it was public and everybody figured it out and it was spread out through the internet. So there's debate amongst all the minds of different martial artists, whether

they're kickboxers or wrestlers. There is a genuine consensus when it comes to mixed martial arts. And that genuine consensus is, here's the group of effective techniques. This is what actually works. Yes, you can wheel kick someone in the face. Absolutely. It's difficult to pull off,

but you can wheel kick someone in the face. Can you monkey fist them on the nose? You can, but that's not the best way to do it. The best way to do it is best way to do is to jab and then one two what's a monkey what's monkey fist apparently there isn't a monkey fist apparently i made it up apparently it's leopard fist the guy told me leopard fist there is no monkey face you're right there is no monkey face it's leopard fist but that's his style of kung fu because this dudes were also were angry at me we're talking man i hit you in the face with a monkey paw

you're gonna be upset you know so i'm like you in the face with a monkey paw. You're going to be upset. So I'm like, so there's a monkey paw. Then it must be real. See, in his style of martial arts, it's real. But in this one kung fu guy, it's a leopard paw. And that's the only technique that works. I'm not saying that your shit won't work. And it's definitely better than knowing nothing at all.

But as far as is it the best thing to practice, no. There might be some good benefit to it, but if you want to look at the real true evolution of martial arts, what is martial arts? What a martial art is is an art where you figure out what is the best way to attack and disable a trained killer. That's what you want to be good at. You want to be good at beating trained killers.

You don't want to be good at beating people who don't know what they're doing, because that's what a lot of people are doing. What a lot of martial arts are, it's you're developing techniques that really will never work if you're fighting against Anderson Silva. You're not going to get them off. There is no best one. The best one is all the effective techniques of all the martial arts. It's takedowns from wrestling and judo, kicking from karate and muay thai, submissions from judo and jiu-jitsu. There's all these different things. Leg locks from sambo.

All of these. And you don't have to have, there's no correct combination of what to use. Some guys only use a few of the components, but they have a very unusual physicality or they're very good at one of these aspects to the point where, especially like a stand-up fighter,

like a guy like Anderson Silva, that's his number one specialty, stand-up. And he's very good at one of these aspects to the point where especially like a stand-up fighter like a guy like anderson silva that's his number one specialty stand up and he's so good at it every fight starts standing up so he has an advantage at the beginning of every fight he has an advantage and if you can get to that spot you don't have to be like the best wrestler like anderson's not taking people down i mean i'm sure he could if he wanted to but you very rarely see him taking people down he just blasts everybody you know so if you can get really good at certain aspects of it you know there is no exact formula what to do but as far as techniques there's a general consensus of techniques that work you know the basic kicks front kicks and round kicks there's the crazy ones act kicks wheel kicks there's all this stuff works but you know what what doesn't work what doesn't work is like crane techniques

when you're standing. I mean, it will work, but it's better to box. It's better to curl your knuckles up and blast them in the face. It's better to kick them. And to kick them correctly, you've got to go to a certain... I'll tell you when to go. I think it's two minutes and four seconds. Joe Rogan works for MMA, say, use monkey fist non-sense martial arts.

Nonsense martial arts. He's right. There is no monkey fist. There is a leopard fist but there's no monkey fist. But I understand Joe try to say all Kung Fu is nonsense. You're fucked man. Of course I disagree. fu is nonsense. You're fucked, man. Of course, I disagree. The funny thing is,

Joe used the word monkey to laugh and mocking kung fu. He's reading lines. Listen to this, Joe knows. No one used the monkey technique more than the MMA. This lick wrapping, this is called baby monkey.

He's showing the guard. You will see baby monkey wrap around, wrap the leg around the mommy monkey waistline and the back 65% of the time. And that is exactly what MMA using the baby monkey 65% of the time inside the cage. Now, who is the monkey here? I have no problem with the word monkey. As long as it is a good technique like my monkey spinning arm lock. Monkey spinning arm lock. Watch this. I'm your arm lock.

MMA fighters are strong and tough. But don't be confused. Just because they do full contact, then they must be real martial artists. Do you think gangsters do full contact fighting, then they must be all real martial artists? Absolutely not. Okay, hold on a second. The difference between a street fighter... I think we might be getting trolled.

That feels like a troll. Yeah, as I'm watching this under the influence of the sacred plant, I'm like, this guy's obviously reading off of something. Yeah, he's reading off to the side. And when I'm listening to it, I'm like, this guy, it doesn't sound like it makes sense. And then when he hits that arm bar, God, dude, he does that so slow. That's a guy who's not a grappler at all. He's not a grappler.

That guy doesn't know what he's doing. Dude, one of the things was called monkey baby. This is monkey baby monkey. It was awesome. Well, that might be a technique. It very well might be, but it also might be a troll. It feels like a troll. It feels totally like a troll.

That's why he mentioned my name, because he knows I'm stupid and I'd bite. Yeah. And I just went right after it. It's pretty good. He got me the fuck. You and Sam Tripp. Baby monkey. That's a pretty good word, man.

I want to see if I can get that for a license plate baby monkey monkey this technique is called baby monkey it's brilliant whoever did that congratulations you did a good job well done if it is real sir please come to 10th planet sorry come to 10th planet jujitsu in los angeles and i'd love to try out your baby monkey, see if I could pass your baby monkey. I want to kiss your baby monkey. I bet I could pass your baby monkey. I'm just saying right now.

I mean, I'm no killer. I'm no Marcelo Garcia, but I watched your roll, and I'm pretty sure I could pass your baby monkey. That's all I'm saying. Challenge. You try your baby monkey on me, man. I'm going to get side control.

I bet I'm going to get side control. Damn, this is hot. I don't give a fuck, bro. I don't give a fuck, dude. That dude wants to try that whack-ass baby monkey on me? I'll show him what's up. 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu, bitch. And you know the other thing? The music. Like, if there was music playing

during that video, Joe. Well, here's my thing. It's funny, but if he's serious, yeah, if he's serious, it's offensive to me. Because, you know, if he's serious, I don't think he is. But if he is serious, it's offensive to all martial arts, because that guy doesn't know what he's doing. The way he's hitting that armb i'm like jesus christ you'll never know it's a he's hitting an arm bar though the one thing though is he's hitting it like a kung fu guy

because that's what the kung fu guys that's what i have a problem with kung fu guys react they do techniques they practice techniques as if the other person isn't going to react like they grab you and then i would pull you like this and attack the liver from this position you know and they have all this nonsense like well how do you know the guy's still going to be there? I know you have a game plan. But it seems to me like you're getting way ahead of yourself here, stupid. Dude, can I ask you a martial arts question? Sure.

This happened a very long time ago. I used to work at a summer camp. And they would have martial artists come term to like demonstrate martial arts to the kids and he was just some guy from like some local dojo or something and so he would get a kid and he is fucking head man he'd like had he'd been shot like five times in the head he'd been he'd been in vietnam he's really intense fucking guy been shot in the head really yeah he had like bull he'd something he took something to the head his head out of like shrapnel yeah shrapnel so yeah shot in the head probably not so he um he'd bring a kid down and he'd do this thing where he held the kid's wrist and he'd slap him in the neck knock

the kid out and then like they'd get the kid to stand back up again and it was something i i've always like from time to time wondered like what the what the fuck was that? Is that real? Well, how hard did he hit the kid? Just like a slap, you know? It's like it didn't seem. Not really hard. No. Then it's bullshit. So the kid was just like, what was that, hypnosis?

What? Yeah. It's a lot of, it's a power suggestion. A lot of people, dude, and this is a very uncomfortable subject. I think a lot of people have very weak brains, just like some dudes have little dicks. You know? You ever seen a guy in a movie, and, like, he dick and you laugh it's so small you laugh there's there's people with little brains too they have a little dick oh that's weird that's what it is their brain

just sucks that's that's it sucks yeah and that's why when you go to see didn't you go with me to the um the boston comedy connection didn't you see the r-rated hypnotist with me no ari went on stage no you didn't see, I didn't see that. Damn, I thought it was you. Brian, was it you? Were you there? The R-rated hypnotist? No. Must have been Joey. But, you know, when you watch an R-rated hypnotist show,

rest in peace, Mr. Frank Santos, who is the guy that I'm discussing, a long-time friend. Very hilarious R-rated hypnotist. But he would go on stage, and he'd bring people and they would sit down and with the the smallest amount of work i mean close your eyes concentrate on what i'm going to say i'm concentrating my breath i'm gonna three two one when i hit one you're gonna think you're with madonna madonna like it's back when madonna was hot madonna's

underneath you and she's naked and you're're going to have your wee-wee inside of Madonna on the count of one. On three, two, one. Where are you, John? Oh, oh, oh. You see this guy who is just a normal person. It was just 15, 20 seconds ago, he was just sitting there with his eyes closed,

and now this guy really thinks he's fucking Madonna. Like, I watched the guy cum in his pants. I watched the guy cum in his pants. I watched a guy cum in his pants. Frank Santos told him to cum in his pants. He's like, oh, you're not going to be able to hold it. You're going to cum. Oh! And the guy goes, oh!

The guy came in his fucking pants. He was embarrassed. It wasn't an act. He wasn't an actor. He wasn't. There's no way an actor could be that good. I mean, it was the look of confusion on his face when Frank cleared him up and sent him out of it

and went back to his friends. You'd have to be a great actor to make yourself come. His friends were laughing at him. And, dude, you came in your fucking pants. Everybody was going nuts. He went back to sit with his group. He didn't believe what had happened. He was like, no, I knew what I was doing.

I knew what I was doing. The fuck you did, dude? Like, they go into this trance. I don't know what had happened. He was like, no, I knew what I was doing. I knew what he was doing. The fuck you did, dude? Like, they go into this trance. I don't know how it works. It doesn't work on me. It doesn't work on you. But it was like an old magic trick where, like, that dude was a really, a paid actor. I think that's part of what that kind of hypnotism is.

I mean, there's different kinds of hypnotism. There's hypnotism where you can sit down and someone can put you in a very relaxed state where you are cleared of all your distractions and cleared of all your connections to the world, and they talk you through this. They talk you into a mindset where you're open to suggestion and where you're open to objectivity. That's a type of hypnotism, and it's a legitimate type of hypnotism, and it does get you to a certain state, but you're conscious of what's going type of hypnotism. And it's a legitimate type of hypnotism. And it does get you to a certain state. But you're conscious of what's going on the whole time. He's not getting you to

suck his dick. He's not telling you there's an elephant in the room that's going to cut your head off. He's not freaking you out with bullshit and nonsense and trickery. He's just kind of guiding your thought pattern. But there's also a type of hypnosis that doesn't work on everybody. But it does work on dummies and that dummy hypnosis you if you're a guy like frank santos you can get people to think they're having sex with madonna in a stage on a stage in front of 300 strangers you really can do it i've seen it i don't understand it but i don't understand people that are allergic to peanuts either yeah i don't i don't think the human body is it's not uniform there's there's some people that have a weird glitch it's like you know some some cell phones you can

fucking hack into them you know with somebody else's cell phone but see here's the thing so if frank santos can make a man in boston blast in his pants from four seconds of mild hypnosis think what the fucking cia can do to you if they've been studying this shit for like 15 or 20 years you know the thing the sacrifices they've made too in the in the you know the name of progress when it comes to lsd they dosed a whole fucking village in france including women and children they dosed their bread you know about that story nope the freedom of information act it was it was revealed like i don't know shit i want to say 2009 but i don't remember when the exact date it was revealed but the cia did a fucking lsd experiment in a small french town and dosed the entire town here i'll look it up cia

dosed french town acid yeah dude they didn't give a fuck. Here, the CIA dosed an entire village with LSD. Yep. An incredible story. Back in the 50s, an entire French village suddenly went mad. It was not as previously thought due to an ergot, fungus contamination of the village baker's bread, says investigative journalist H.P. Abarelli, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Instead, it was part of a CIA secret mind control experiment with LSD.

In other words, the CIA put a French village on acid to study them. Wow. Wow. And by the way, they're responsible for the fucking Unabomber. You ever watch that documentary? Yeah, you told me about that. Yeah. Yeah, he was a part of the fucking LSD experiments at Harvard.

Yeah. Gee, what a shocker. You think there's a coincidence in that? That one guy gets so crazy that he decides to make enough money as a mathematics professor to fund his attack on all the technology of the world. And the way he's going to do this is send bombs through the mail at people that are creating things. Well, see, that's the thing. That's why you have to begin to ask yourself, which components of my belief system are things that I've arrived to naturally from my observation of nature, and which parts of them are placed into me by a system designed to

turn people into consumers? And I think that more often or not, a greater percentage of your personality than you would like is not you at at all it's a tapestry that's been cleverly woven by a system designed to make people feel totally normal spending the majority of their lives driving in a commute and working in a shit job and uh being tired all the time first of all uh let me just say that apparently this is uh this theory of the french town is uh also questioned some people don't agree with it some people don't think it's true well they were dosing fucking uh they they were dosing soldiers they were dosing soldiers and they were dosing um whores were dropping it into their john's drinks that was a rolling stone article oh yeah yeah

it was operation what the fuck was it called operation midnight climax that's what it's called the cia ran a brothel in San Francisco and New York and they they dosed the Johns because they couldn't find any willing participants in their LSD studies

because unfortunately they gave people like Pepsi bottles full of shit and blew their fucking brains out you know they weren't sure

the dosage you know when they first started fucking around with LSD they wanted to know what would happen yeah we're gonna do shots

we're gonna do whiskey son do a shot of whiskey and you're actually doing a shot of acid you know what mckenna described molecularly he said lsd has the power of an ant that could disassemble the entire statue of liberty in 30 minutes wow because that's molecularly that's what it's like that's how strong acid is oh it's the best but imagine you like getting it in a town and you don't know you're having it for a lot of people that don't know that's the number one theory of the salem witch trials the salem witch trials has to do with the first thing they were saying about as previously thought it was an ergot fungus contamination of the village baker's bread apparently what happens is when you have a crop of um like wheat or whatever the

fuck it is any any kind of grain and um you it freezes if they have a frost and then it when it thaws out apparently it's susceptible to certain funguses yeah like it fucks up the plant and the plant gets contaminated sometimes by certain funguses and ergot when it contaminated uh the you know when they've they've like done core samples of this this point in time you know whenever you know the 1600s whenever the salem witch trials were and they found like these late frosts that they think could have attributed to ergot infection and then they found evidence of ergot so they're pretty sure that when all these people went mad and crazy and they started burning women, it's just like they were whacked out on their bread,

and they thought that someone was poisoning them. They really did think it was witchcraft, which makes much more sense than it was just a religious thing. Which is possible. We've seen horrible things done in the name of religion, but when there's a whole group of them and it's all in one area and all those other pieces are in place, there's a fucking psychedelic compound

that makes you lose your marbles and it's in your bread. Of course that's what happened. I mean, it only makes sense. Why does this one area think it's bewitched? Yeah. Because they were! Right.

There was! There was a fucking chemical bewitching. You know, they just blamed it on the wrong people. They didn't blame it on the bread. Well, how would they know? How would they know? Yeah. So these crazy assholes thought that these women were witches. You know, they'd look at them all paranoid. This fucking bitch is a witch.

She's doing this to me. You know, really, I mean, he's seeing giant mice attacking him with, you know, invisible swords. You know, he's seeing all kinds of crazy shit everywhere he goes. It's really strange to think that books have been written about how to torture witches.

There's a book. Have you ever heard of the Malleus Maleficarum? Jesus, no. Look that up. What is it called? It's called, I believe, the Malleus Maleficarum. It's called the Hammer of the Witches. Look that shit up.

Maleficarum? Yeah, I think it's Maleficarum. I'm probably butchering the name, but if you put that in, you should find it. And if that doesn't work, put in hammer. Dude, fucking internet's amazing. I misspelled the shit out of it and still found it. The way to spell it correctly, folks, is the Malleus, M-A-L-L-E-U-S. Is that an L?

Yeah. L-L-E-U-S and Maleficarium. Carium. Maleficarium. Carum. Maleficarium. Maleficarium is M-A-L-E-F-I-C-A-R-U-M. And just get an approximation of that in Google,

and it just finds it for you. The Hammer of the Witches. That's incredible. The greatest. It's a book that was written during the Inquisition. Oh, my God. It's available on Amazon. God, I love the internet.

I'm going to order that. Watch this. Watch this. While we're doing the podcast, boom, bitches. Ordered that shit, son. 1996. Come on. How dope is that?

I just bought an awesome book. After the witch trials, though, they still were eating the same bread, though. Wouldn't they still be crazy if that was true about the grain? No, because it didn't last for very long it's only for one season so you know for one season or whatever season that this happens where they get this grain and this grain is infected with the ergot that's the season where everyone's jacked and fucked up didn't right wasn't but mckinnis theory was was uh i think more that it wasn't that these people were freaking out this is a mckinnis theory oh i know this is a mainstream uh like i guess it was

archaeologists oh no who looks that is that called archaeology when you only go back a couple hundred years history yeah i think that would be our that could be archaeology i don't know i don't know i think there's a difference between historians and archaeologists i'd love to know but i there i've read mckenna talking about how um the getting rid of the witches was part of the transformation into male-dominated culture. And the burning of the witches was a representation of the shift from, what is he, he has a great name for it, dominator culture or something, what does he call it?

Yeah, the shift from the, he was from maternal society. Yeah, maternal, matriarchal, mushroom society to a patriarchy where the way that you taught people is through, like, the god of that society teaches people by beating the shit out of them and punishing them forever. It's not the way that a mother is supposed to be. And so the witch trials were the shift from one form of nature-based religion into a new form of religion where people started worshipping the invisible, like, freak, homophobic war god. That could be possible, but the other finding, I think, was after. I think it was even after McKenna was dead. McKenna, I believe, died in 2001.

I think they discovered this a little later so it's kind of clear evidence i think it's just combinations because there were yeah it could be that too there were women back then who were practicing right it could be they would have never killed the witches if it was like a balanced society they would have just gone oh you're a fucking witch oh no you're not oh my god i was on acid or something you know they wouldn't like get together with pitchforks and fucking torches maybe it could be they were already pissed off at chicks and then when they got on the acid or the ergot rather they'd be like well this is a fucking this is a perfect time to kill all these bitches yeah you know it could be that this is the last straw well you know it's a

weird thing man when you know the whole idea of happiness and pleasure is a lot of it revolves around people wanting to be around you and a lot of it revolves around people wanting to be around you. And a lot of it revolves around the opposite sex wanting to be around you. And for most of us, you know, look, the reality is most of us are not that attractive. You know, there's, you know, there's not that many people that are like really attracted to you. And for a lot of people, their life is a constant series of rejections. especially from women guys they're dumpy they have no self-esteem they get a couple drinks in them and hey you think maybe i could uh fucking get some of that ass they like say something awful knowing you know like really

it's just like a lack of confidence like people would say that they're a dickhead but really a lot of it is like a preemptive attack because you think eventually this person's going to destroy your soul because that's your experience with relationships that's your experience with interacting with women every time you've attempted to interact with women they've let you know that you're repulsive ew with you no thank you ew get away and that programming just enters into this guy's definition of what a woman is of what you know who you are you're the person who brings the bad feelings you're the person who brings this horrible horrible sure right right right so you get a few drinks like some pavlovian response to

women where you're pissed and you're fucking all of a sudden you're like using tricks from the game to try to say shitty things to girls to like dis discombobulate them and somehow like trick them into fucking you yeah instead of just getting them to have sex with you because they like you because you're a good person you're fucking cool well i don't think people can realize that and part of the reason why people can't realize that is because people are selfish you know i have a friend and i he'll remain nameless but we had a conversation where he was uh he was getting dumped and he was super upset about, and he didn't know how to deal with it, and he was asking me for advice.

And I said, do you love this girl? And he said, yes. And I said, well, if you love her, you should want her to be happy. And if her being happy means her being with another man or another person, you should respect that, and you should love her still. I go, this is just a human being, and people break up, and I don't hate everyone I used to date. In fact, with time, I love all of them,

even the ones that I didn't get along with, man. When I look back on every single girl that I ever dated, I swear to God, I only will allow the positive thing. I have some negative stories that are really funny, and I tell them, but in my mind, when I'm thinking about that person, I only think about them when I love them. I only think about them whatever no matter what went wrong you know no matter you know what what horrible thing was said you know that made the whole thing fall apart i i refuse

to define them by that and i instead define them by their potential by what what they meant to me when they were at their best but it's really fucking hard to teach people that, man. It's really hard to over and over again realize when you fall face first into the fucking dirt that your thinking is incorrect and that it's not empowering and you're not helping yourself or anyone else. And in fact, you're devaluing yourself

into this person's eyes because you become desperate and you have no personal sovereignty. That's right. A man that can't be without a woman when a woman doesn't want to be with a man is a repulsive thing you know we've all seen it man it was an episode of fear factor we had this week where this there was this poor guy and his wife didn't want to have nothing to do with him anymore they divorced and she was fucking you know just living her life and they were still connected

because they had a kid together and she would just mock him openly and publicly and she had no desire to fuck him again. She was just ready to make fun of him and it hurts. It hurts watching it, man. It hurts your fucking soul. It cuts into you.

You see it and you go, this poor fuck, he doesn't even know. He's just trapped in this horrible pattern and this person has become a drug dispenser,

a negative downer drug. This person gives them a depressing drug every time they see them. It's crazy. It's amazing. Yeah, the bonds of Maya, that's one name for it or you get entangled in the illusory aspect of the universe and you don't even realize it and then you're just fucking in pain but you're the reason you're in pain it's so sad but it's real and it's like it's a it's a

plague and and but it's it's also kind of cool man those kinds of prisons thought prisons are the best prisons to get into because you have the key you can get out of it though but one of the things is you can't be selfish because if you are selfish you always want that person to be with you you know and this is what i was saying to my friend i was like dude she does not want to be with you you have to accept that yeah you have to accept that this is a human being and if you love this human being you should want this human want to be with you. You have to accept that. You have to accept that this is a human being, and if you love this human being, you should want this human being to be happy.

And your definition of love is you only love this human being if this human being provides you with the sex drug, provides you with the sex chemical. You can't just accept the fact that she wants the sex drug from someone different. Her genes are compelled to fuck someone different than you and whether it's become because you have personality shortcomings or physical shortcomings it's not her responsibility her responsibility is to go towards what she

enjoys and what she's attracted to but we are so selfish that no one ever thinks that way well but also man aside from like letting someone have a happy life and not trying to manipulate or control them into being stuck with you the other thing is it's so much better for you to be with someone who really likes you fuck yeah you know my god the guys who want to like change a chick you know you grow to love me my god dude yeah some savage is going to come along and fuck her in a laundromat okay that's going to happen you can't everyone needs to be extremely attracted to each other everyone needs to be extremely whether it's just in track attracted to each other's minds which is personality whether it's physical whatever it is there there has to be a real because if there's not if you don't have that one of two things is

happening either you're not putting that out enough you're not a dynamic enough human both with your consciousness or with your objectivity or with your love or with your affection or with your your your generosity you're not putting out enough not working and if you're not putting that out enough people don't want to give it back to you so this this beautiful attractive healthy vibrant generous loving person won't be attracted to you because you don't want to enhance them. You want to draw and take away from them. And so you rely on wounded animals and it's just one more wounded animal after another wounded animal. And that's all you ever get because that's all you're attracting. You're attracting wounded animals because those are the only ones that are stupid enough to fucking fall into your web. Yeah, that's true,

man. And also a lot of those systems the pickup systems are designed to trap wounded animals it's like exactly yeah so it's like really you just pray on the vulnerable and it's only because the the value of sexuality it's it's such a it's a value it's very important like that you need it like it will make you feel better you know it will it's your medicine sure you gotta go you you know yeah but you know there there's let's get it on like marvin gaye son i'm your medicine open up and let me in it is a fucking drug man darling you're so great i can't wait for you to operate boom boom get up let's make love tonight wake up wake up because you do it right the guy was a bad motherfucker dude he's such a bad

motherfucker his dad shot him his dad couldn't deal with his son just massively eclipsing him in every possible way as a human his dad was just a regular guy who's marvin gay marvin gay is a motherfucking dick slinging superstar with a voice that came from angels okay and who are you oh you're the guy who fucked his mom get in line bitch you're just a normal dude you ain't nothing special compared to marvin motherfucking gay you're a regular guy you made a son that's a bad motherfucker you made a song that his songs they play them without the words in elevators and people sing along to the music his fucking songs are so good that when you're in an elevator

and a Muzak version of Let's Get It On comes on, you can hear him singing, Oh, let's get it on. You can hear it. You can hear it. He's a bad motherfucker, dude. He imprinted the consciousness, and this guy couldn't deal with it,

so he shot his own son. Woo! That sucks. He didn't want to play the game, so he picked up the board and he threw it away. Yeah, well. Couldn't win. Couldn't win the game.

Unplugged it. Can you imagine fucking shooting your own kid? Oh, my God. I don't care what he did. You fucked. Someone fucked up. It has to be you, too. Unless your kid is a murderer.

Unless your kid's coming at you with a fucking sword and trying to, you know, he's on PCP. Yeah, okay, I get it. You got to do what you got to do fucking sword and trying to, you know, he's on PCP. Yeah, okay, I get it. You got to do what you got to do. And he shouldn't, you know, he's a threat to the public. But killing your own kid makes you automatically a fucking idiot, right? Oh, my God. Yeah, something happened to him. Which is why it's fucking weird, the story of Jesus.

It's like you're going to send your fucking kid down to a planet of savage fucking... But you don't understand. He died for our sins. Oh. Did you know that? Oh, no, I didn't. But somehow or another, we can still sin. But we get forgiven if we tell him.

If we embrace him, then you get forgiven. Yeah. You're allowed to still sin. You can totally fuck up. But at the end, you have to really realize and really embrace Jesus as your God. Joe, what are you saying? But once you do that, it's like a crazy escape clause. It's like some corporations don't have to pay any taxes at all yeah you just fuck everybody over and make trillions

and trillions of dollars what kind of loophole is that that's ridiculous well they just have to pay the right politicians and this loophole the death loophole is you can just fucking rape and pillage your whole life but if you find christianity at the end like general butt naked from liberia you know that story there's shane smith he had us on the podcast. Yeah, totally. The guy's directly responsible for the death of thousands of people. I know about General Butt Naked. Thousands of people, and he killed babies and ate their hearts. Yep. Ate their still-beating hearts.

Yeah. Okay, and he's a Christian, and because he's a Christian, they didn't even prosecute him. Praise God. How amazing is that? Praise God. Praise God. God's so beautiful.

God is going to put him in heaven, but not like a regular person who's born in the jungle of Brazil and is good his whole life and only does good for his tribe and his family and has great respect for the earth. That guy's going straight to hell. Oh, the earth? That cunt face. Respect for the earth? I don't respect the earth.

Indigenous douchebag is going right to the fucking oven. Dude, do you know about dispensations? Do you know what dispensations? I believe they're called dispensations. Do know about this no what is it yeah and i may be saying the word wrong but it used to be able to buy from the catholic church for money bishops used to be able to do that yeah you could buy say like you could save yourself you could buy like no matter what you're going to heaven like i gave you this much money so i'm set like here's like you know whatever 200 000 bucks i000 bucks, I'm cool, right?

No matter what I do for the rest of my life, I'm still going to heaven. Like yeah, you're fine. You gave enough money, now you're fine. That's hilarious.

It's amazing. That's brilliant. Like the Catholic Church, you know how funny that is to like come up with a trick like that when you start realizing like wait a minute,

I can just write down on paper that people are going to an imaginary place forever and they'll give me thousands and thousands of dollars in gold and diamonds that's incredible it's incredible like talking seriously about like the the tooth fairy like if we were having a conversation about the tooth fairy people are willing to die for that tooth fairy yeah they're willing to kill you for this degrading that tooth fairy and to ruin and to ruin their lives they're they're willing to

they're willing to um not use birth control they're willing to not use birth control. They're willing to not wear condoms and fucking bring kids into the world that they didn't even want to have for that tooth fairy. They're willing to do a lot of crazy shit for that tooth fairy. And there's a wide spectrum of crazy, and it varies from town to town, church cult to church cult. And I think that there's something that's an actual... I think there there really is a i don't know what you call it but i do think there's like

a super consciousness you can tune into that will give you some direction and the directions usually don't be an asshole well that's why i'm saying that the morality of the universe would tell you that you're not allowed to spray pepper spray in the face of kneeling children oh yes the morality of the universe would say these are peaceful people you have no right to do anything to harm them they have a legitimate griping concern whether they're handling it the correct way is debatable but you you know the morality of the universe the the true knowledge of what is right and wrong it's like instinctively instantly you realize that's an evil task and if that was your little girl that's your 18 year old girl idealistic first day idealistic, first year in college,

and this asshole is spraying her in the face with pepper spray, you'd want to beat his brain flat. He deserves it. You'd want to beat him to death. If I saw that guy spray my baby in the face, I would not be able to help myself. If there was cars in the way, if there was cops in the way, I would have tried physically to get my hands on him. Sure. I would not be able to help myself. If there was cars in the way, if there was cops in the way, I would have tried physically to get my hands on him. Sure. I would have to.

A natural reaction. I wouldn't be able to stop myself. It would be like a murderous, animal-like rampage. You would feel it from the bottom of your DNA that you would have to stop this person from doing that. Yeah. Meanwhile, this guy's doing it because somebody wrote some shit down on a piece of paper.

That's a detachment, man. That's a detachment from the things that you do and the impact those things have. And you could say, follow by the word of the law, and you could say, well, if those fucking hippies weren't there, they wouldn't have a problem. And while all these things are correct, that's not the real issue. The real issue is there's a detachment from the things we do and the effect those things have.

That detachment is due to a lack of sensitivity, which I think can be attributed to several things. A lot of it is contributed to awareness and our focus on awareness, whether it's through yoga, whether it's through meditation, whether it's through isolation tanks, whether it's through psychedelics, whether it's through

long walks where you sit by yourself alone in the park and you do an audit of your day and an audit of your true honest thoughts and try to be fucking real with yourself man and don't bullshit yourself so you can sleep better at night and think that you're doing the right thing every time and all you would have to do is imply though apply those ideas to life and everyone would be fine everyone would be fine. Everyone would be fine. No one would ever start on just wars. They would realize you can profit anyway.

There's always going to be assholes out there. You can profit on fucking tanks and you can profit on jets. We need those. Yeah, we do need those. But we don't need that many and we don't need them everywhere. We don't need a military presence

in over 100 different fucking countries. We've gotten completely out of hand. Those people making jets and making bombs and making guns, I'm 100% pro-gun. I have guns, and I think that you should be allowed to have guns. And I'm pro-hunting, and I'm pro-trapping. I'm pro all that shit, man. I believe in the Second Amendment fully, strongly support your right.

Yeah, me too. But I think, I just think we're at a stage right now where people are starting to realize that the stuff that's written down on paper is not necessarily serving the human beings that it's supposed to represent. That's right. And we just, because it's written down on paper and because a bunch of people say it's written down on paper, we are supposed to abide by it. We're supposed to deal with it. We're supposed to allow that cop to spray the chemical in the kid's face and not get beaten up and immediately thrown in jail like he should be, like your instincts would be if any civilian did it. And that's our real issue.

Our real issue is we are operating under an archaic society. We're using the wrong map. Yes. We're using an old, shitty map that worked at a different kind of terrain. The terrain has changed now. We need some new maps. People have got to come up with new maps. You don't just get the fucking luxury of using an ancient withered old map whatever the fuck the map is whether the map is your bible or whether the map is um the current

version of the constitution with all the amendments or whether the map whatever it is it's time to start making new maps based on the fact that we're now all connected when you see things like this new bill that's passed it turns america into a battleground and empowers the military to come in and and and arrest civilians who are being disorderly and arrest anyone who is a threat and detain them anyone who they deem a threat that is the all the evidence that you need to know that it's over yeah that is the monsters clawing at the fucking at the head the the the gravestone as it pulls them underground yep as the earth sucks them into its core the monsters are clawing as they're dragged down they are trying as hard as possible to gain ground

and one way they're going to do it is completely violate the bill of rights one way they're going to do it is to make the constitution invalid and that's what they're doing and they're doing it under the guise of patriotism and protection and you're like protection from what you fucks but see that's why that's why they're what what has to happen is people need to start um continuing to take like the action they're taking with occupy wall street but we need a fucking super genius or a group of super geniuses or a collective of people to come up with a new map for how this shit should be working. You know what I'm starting to think? What?

This is what I'm starting to think is going to happen. I used to think that there's going to be some sort of a violent upheaval. There's going to be real problems. I think that there's going to be people on the Occupy side that are far too intelligent to be ignored and that eventually they're going to figure out some vulnerabilities to the system and then they're going to have some power. And once they have some power,

then people are going to talk and then they're going to have to work something out and change some laws and change some rules because until there's some sort of a threat from the other side, and it doesn't have to be a violent threat, it could simply be some fucking computer geniuses who know how to rework everything,

who know how to shut down the fucking internet, who know how to make things invalid and unfunctional. It could be people who know how to manipulate money through the internet. Who the fuck knows? I mean, it's going to be deemed a terrorist act, whatever it is. I mean, that's really what, by the Patriot Act, anything you're doing to attack the government now is like a terrorist act. I bet me even suggesting that someone may try to do this makes you under suspicion.

You extrapolating and looking at history and you looking at human behavior and you looking at the situation knowing that it's going to escalate. What could happen? I think someone's going to figure out a way to have some power over the occupiers. But saying that, by saying that, it's almost like I'm cheerleading. Like, I can become an enemy by saying that, which is amazing. I'd say you're a little... This is Orwell. This is Orwellian.

It really is. I mean, it's amazing that life is now more fucked up than fixed. Or fucking people come... You know, like the people who are looking under their car because they've got a flat tire, and they're like, hey, what's that fucking box there? And they pull the box out from under their car, and've got a flat tire and they're like, hey, what's that fucking box there? And they pull the box out from under their car and it's some kind of magnetic bug

that some people stuck on their car in the middle of the night. Tracking them everywhere they go. And then they come and get it. Then they come and collect it. You know, like that guy who popped it on a whole school nowadays. How about this Carrier IQ shit, Brian?

You just sent me an update on this Carrier IQ. What was the update again? Well, they say that the FBI will not release any records on this Carrier IQ shit. Yeah, they won't comment on it. I mean, like, the

guys from the company are, you know, talking, saying that they've never given their information to the FBI. Right, but the FBI will not comment whatsoever and they refuse Freedom of Information Act requests. Yeah, right, because it's an ongoing investigation, that's what they're saying.

They don't have, they have fucking power. There's so much power yeah it's so much power it's so ridiculous and you know the best way to abuse power is to say that we're doing it for your own good we're doing it for your own good you trust us listen we need this power in order to get the bad people we know you're a good person trust us we just need this little provision we gotta do it what's a terrorist exactly oh some guy who sells 20 joints, Newt Gingrich? Yeah. Is it 200 joints? Oh, 200 doses.

He's a terrorist and he should be put to death. Yeah, someone who grows plants. These are the fucks that want to run our world, man. Really? That's why we need that Ron Paul guy, even though he doesn't believe in evolution. I've heard some, the problem with, I mean, I don't, I talked about this on the Lavender Hour about Ron Paul and we got some people writing in writing in that shit that I didn't investigate fully. I said I like Ron Paul.

What didn't you investigate? I said something about how he would get rid of the highway systems or something. He doesn't want to support like... He wants to go back to buggies. No, it's not back to buggies. Horse riding. He wants to go back to... No, it's some kind of thing.

There was a few things that were a little... that I didn't know that because I really love the guy what are the what are you you know something to be more that's the problem I meant to go and invest so you got upset at something that you don't remember no I remember they said Ron Paul would get somehow get rid of the interstate system Ron Paul interstate system I couldn't find it you couldn't I don't I don't think so just and then also the evolution thing came interstate commerce clause is that it I don't i don't i i don't think so just and then also the evolution thing interstate commerce clause is that it i don't i don't know that's something different i think but i love him right now i still like him so i don't know i'm sure there's some

weird about him i guess if he doesn't believe in evolution that is up man that's maybe he's had a religious experience maybe he ate some bad bread one day trip thepped the fuck out. I love people who... He's got an insight. Dude, people who believe the Earth is 5,000 years old are some of the funniest fucking people out there. There's a big move for Ron Paul right now, man. He's moving. With this Occupy Wall Street thing, Ron Paul is fucking exploding.

Ron Paul is neck and neck with Newt Gingrich right now in the Iowa poll. Great. That is unprecedented. People are not expecting this. Did you hear how... All these other guys are falling apart. That's the crazy thing about these dummy Republicans. All of them, slowly but surely,

are showing that they're morons. First it was Herman Cain, who's fucked everyone. And then it's Rick Perry, who can't remember anything. And then it's, you know, it's fucking Mitt Romney, who's got way too much money.

And Rick Perry's shit fucking internet video about how you can't celebrate Christmas. But yeah, we know the gays want to get married. Yeah, we can put gays in the military. Gays in the military, but we aren't celebrating Christmas. Meanwhile, he's wearing the same jacket from Brokeback Mountain. He's wearing the same jacket that Heath Ledger wore in Brokeback Mountain. You almost wonder if his stylist has a sense of humor. Yeah.

You know? I mean, how brilliant would that be if they're like, well, we've got to make you look like a good old boy. I mean, you're just like George Bush again. You're reincarnated. A lot of people love George Bush. He was a good man. He was a good president.

We want to get you dressed like a rancher. We're going to put you on a ranch. Okay, we're going to dress him like a rancher. Okay, a rancher. What does a rancher dress like? Well, you know, a rancher is just like an American, strong. Okay, yeah, like Heath Ledger. That's hilarious.

So they give him the fucking same jacket. I mean, come on, man. What are the odds? Who the fuck has a tan jacket with a dark brown collar? Get the fuck out of here, bitch. It feels like somebody's winking at you, doesn't it? Somebody's winking at you. It feels like someone's like, clink, clink.

Yeah, that's what it feels like. It's someone behind the scenes that's a 99%-er, and they don't like it. Clink, clink. Yeah, that's what it feels like. There's someone behind the scenes that's a 99 percenter and they don't like it. They don't like it. It's a whistleblower. Yeah, man. There's definitely

little clues out there. He's desperado. And what it is now is like one of those shows where it's about to get canceled so they bring in a black character. Yeah. We need a nutty neighbor

and he's a rapper or whatever. They're just panicking right now. This is a death spiral. We need a nutty neighbor and he's a rapper or whatever. They're just panicking right now. This is a death spiral. But they're all, all of them seem like they should be on Jerry Springer. They don't seem like

they should be running for president. They seem like just freaks. Well, Newt Gingrich is guilty of ethics violations and he was accused of over 40 different ethics violations. Serves divorce papers

to his wife dying of cancer. Yeah, there's just so much that I don't like about him. And one time, this is, by the way, this is the one thing that really sticks in my mind. Think about this, Newt, because this really sticks in my mind as to who you really are. I bet he listens. There was a kid in one of those MTV shows

that came up to him and said, boxers are briefs. And instead of having any sort of a sense of humor, he's like, that is a stupid question and i'm not going to answer your stupid question like the way he said it's like demeaning to the kid like an authoritative figure the kid should have said bitch and just cracked him right in the face like you would in the jungle you old rotten fucking tomato old rotten tomato sitting on a fucking windowsill yeah rotting in the sun the sun. Who are you getting fresh with, stupid?

That's a stupid question. Yeah, we're joking around. This is a TV show. This is MTV, dummy. You know, what are you, an asshole? You know, a guy comes up to you. He's asking you questions about all kinds of legitimate shit. And he said, sir, one question.

Boxers or briefs? And you get angry at him. You get angry at him because he threw that in there. What kind of a nice guy are you? You're agreeing to do an interview, but you don't like the underwear question. That's frivolous in this time of seriousness. Fuck you. Fuck you,

you creepy dude. You old withered turd. You old creepy dude with your last chance at to be king. It ain't gonna work, dude. It's definitely not. You're getting exposed. And you're exposed now, but they're gonna hack away at you slowly but surely. Hack away at all the different times that you've used your influence to make money. Hack it away at all the different times you've forced things through

that other people weren't comfortable with. Oh, yeah. This is the thing about Obama, man, that I think about Obama. Whether or not you like him or not, I think that guy's a pretty dangerous, vicious guy, and I think he uses a lot of tricks that— The fact that he's not vetoing this act. This act would put him at odds with Congress, put him at odds with the Senate. And he's not going to veto it.

I can't believe he's not fucking vetoing it. It's amazing. And he said he would veto it. It's horrifying. He's not going to veto it. He's not going to veto it. It's amazing. It's going to go down.

You think he's going to sign it? Yes, I do. I'm going to piss. Yeah, he said he's going to sign it. Let's just wrap this bitch up. Let's end this thing. It's fucking three hours long. All right.

Thanks, everybody. Thanks for tuning in. Thank you to the Fleshlight for... Thank you, Fleshlight. Thank you, Fleshlight. Thank you, Fleshlight, for so many wonderful memories.

Thank you for being so awesome. Thank you for every time I've gone like this inside of your body. Ah! Can I talk about a show I'm doing? Sure, yeah, please do.

I'm going to be at Caroline's in New York City tomorrow, Friday, and saturday i'm uh featuring for natasha lazaro so come out dude caroline's is the shit that's a great can't wait that's a fun place to be man caroline's in new york city can't get any better than that please come that's on broadway yeah come come it's a hilarious show um we are also duncan and i will be performing together on new year's eve at the melrose Improv. Yes. Holla at your boy. Yes.

Me, Duncan, and Joey motherfucking Diaz, bitches. P.S. Suck it, okay? Suck it. We don't know. I think there's only one show. That's the right way to do it. We might have two shows, in which case the 8 o'clock people don't get to celebrate the

mystical changing of the guard. That's right. But we'll fake it. It's a fuck. We'll fake it. We'll do a countdown. That way you'll celebrate it twice. Yeah.

Right? Word. Also, we're at the Chicago Theater January 27th, and it is almost sold out. If it sells out, apparently they're going to open up some other section. It's like this upper high balcony. But the tickets you want are probably the ones that are, well, actually, it's fucking old, badass theater. It'll be great, man.

It'll be awesome if you have the top balcony. But uh it's me and duncan and joey diaz as well or should i say duncan joey diaz and i because that's the correct way thank you joe to be courteous and letting people know that's why you say that that's why it's structured because i'm thinking of you first yes that's what people like okay so learn from that all you dirty bitches all you fucked up evil selfish fucks who are not looking out for your fellow man look out for your fellow man look out for and only hang around people who are 100 looking out for you too this is possible this can be done okay i have proven it you can do the same thing you can manifest your own reality and make it so duncan god is love get some jizz into some

holes guys let's end this with a chant can you give us a chant to end this with a pause God is love. Get some jizz into some holes, guys. Let's end this with a chant. Can you give us a chant to end this with a positive note? Sure. Let's say real quick that we're at. Oh, yeah. We got the Ice House this weekend. Friday and Saturday. Friday and Saturday.

We're doing the Ice House, the annex in the Ice House. It's a small room. It's only 85 seats, and there are star-studded shows. And it's, who, give us the full lineup. Friday, we have Nick Thune,oug benson john reap and pablo francisco saturday we have joey dia eliza schlesinger sam tripley daryl uh right right and skylar stone boom boom boom boom these are crazy huge shows and it's only like what is it 15 bucks 15 bucks icehousecomedy.com and the the Ice House is the shit. It's a great club.

It's got a great vibe. It's where we do most of the podcasts from. We've been doing a lot of them from there lately. This one we're doing from my office. But most of them we do at the Ice House because it's such a cool group of people that work there. And it's a good vibe. And the club has been around for over 50 years, right? Isn't it like-

Yeah, 50-year anniversary this year. It's crazy. I mean, it's got real real history like in the walls, man. It's like a real spot. And the podcasts there have been phenomenal. And we also do a podcast there this weekend. Every show that we do there, we also do a show called the Ice House Chronicles. And if you subscribe to the Death Squad on iTunes, you can get the ice ice house chronicles for free it's always for free and it's another good reason to subscribe to death squad

because you've got a lot of other good stuff on there like sam tripley's on there he's got the naughty show on there um tom segura and christina pozitsky they have uh your mom's house yeah tebe and uh yeah tebe and the hebe is uh who is it It's Teab and his girlfriend. Danielle Stewart. Danielle Stewart. And then they're constantly doing new ones on there, and it's just awesome, free entertainment. Okay? So check that out. Thank you to The Fleshlight for sponsoring our podcast.

I already said that. You did that. Thank you to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, makers of Alpha Brain, New Mood, and Shroom Tech Sport. And now Shroom Tech Immune is a new Shroom Tech, which is based on mushrooms that enhance your immune system. We're trying to keep you healthy. We're trying to keep you smart. We're trying to keep you happy.

Not for working out, just for immunity? There's one that's for working out. That's the Shroom Tech Sport. And then the other one, Shroom Tech Immune, is supposed to help your chaga mushrooms and a bunch of different mushrooms that enhance your vitality and help your mood. Yeah, yeah, I got some. Cool, I need that right now.

That's a new product, bitches. I want to try that. Again, with all the audit.com things, I tell you this very simply. These are all things that I am supporting because I believe in them. Although I have a financial stake in it, I can guarantee you with 100% certainty

I would never, ever participate in anything that I didn't think was legit. I've been using nootropics for a long time now. I absolutely 100% have had positive effects from them. And there's science to back it. You can look online and find all sorts of information on nootropics and I encourage you to do so if you're interested in them. If you feel like the products are too expensive,

please go buy the ingredients in bulk, make it yourself, save some money. I will be happy, I swear to you. If you want to buy ours though, you can get them from onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T. And if you go to joerogan.net and click on the link for AlphaBrain, it'll take you right there.

Enter in the code name ROGAN, get 10% off. And as always, there is a 100% money back guarantee. If it doesn't work for you, if your body doesn't feel it for whatever reason, it's not worth it to you, 100% money back guarantee. We want you happy. We want you healthy. We want you tuning in. We love you.

We don't even know you. We do love you as long as you're the way that we want you to be. We want you to be loving back. Don't be a cunt. We love the truth inside of you. We say we love you, but if you're a cunt we want you to be. We want you to be loving back. Don't be a cunt. We love the truth inside of you. We say we love you, but if you're a cunt, then we're not going to love that aspect of you. All right? So get it together, bitches.

We're all connected. We're all connected. We're all connected. And we'll see you soon. Bye. We love you. Bye. Thank you..