The Joe Rogan Experience - #168 - Ronda Rousey, Eddie Bravo

Episode Date: December 21, 2011

Joe sits down with Ronda Rousey and Eddie Bravo.

We're a bunch of cavemen together in front of a fire, eating big fucking zebras and shit. Do you have nails? Way up there. There's like in the background, there's dudes grabbing chicks and dragging them by their hair. What are we talking about? The camera pans back, and there's a dude fucking painting his nails and shit. For those who just tuned in who don't know what the fuck we're talking about, a friend of ours has a website called Alpha Nail.

And we were joking about it on the podcast yesterday that it seems like a sketch in Saturday Night Live. It's like, get more sex by painting your nails. The website's ridiculous. And I think it's kind of funny. I saw makeup ads for men in France. Like ones for men's mascara. Men's mascara.

Like billboards. Wow. Dudes wear mascara in France Is that like a normal or just a funny? I don't know. I saw it on a billboard. I But I really have faith in alpha nail The fucking if we could get Chuck Liddell is the poster boy You have him like motherfucker paint your goddamn toenails. You want to be the fucking champion?

Do what I do. Do you think he actually does that? He probably gets like a pedicure. He doesn't really sit around. I'm like, what? No, for sure. That's the problem with painting your own toenails is you got to go to the woman's department and shit like that.

With alpha nail, you can get that shit next to the fucking canteens and shit. Canteens? Next to the fucking camping acts. Right? acts right oh yeah there's my nail color i was almost out i had camo nails i don't want to go out with chipped nails if you market it right it'll fucking work man for sure i want to paint my fucking toenails i'm just too lazy there's a lot of dudes who do it because Apparently like their Nail bed Is like weak It's like soft

That's what Frank Treg used to say It's soft like Like his toes Got fucked up That's a great excuse That's like Michael Jackson Saying that

He can't even clear stuff It doesn't even be colors Yeah yeah man I got weak nails yo Yeah Good excuse That's one of the best ones Say dude I got cancer of the toes

It's like a Chemotherapy type deal Oh my god Yeah I just wanna do Gay shit all the time You know man I need lipstick man The SPF

The SPF in lipstick Is not available I need SPF pink The regular sunscreen yo I don't wanna go out With fucking lipstick on Exactly But there's a SPF

In the lipstick That just Is much more enriching Yeah yeah SPF in the lipstick that's much more enriching. Yeah, yeah. And the darker the red, the more luxurious the red, it just reflects with the sunlight. That's all that is. It's good for your skin. It's like nutrients.

Did we go black? A black dude like a hard dog giving an excuse while he's fucking wearing lipstick. You know, because Michael Jackson gave that excuse. At first, Michael Jackson was just like lipstick you know because michael jackson at first michael jackson was just like you know he just started going through the steps one first surgery no one says shit he got first surgery no one said nothing and there are too many yes men they're like you look fucking great man three o'clock is here you know what i mean no one questioned his ass and then he went in for the next album when he he did bad, it just got a little wider, right? He just got a little too popular.

And no one said anything. Do no wrong. Yeah, no one's saying shit. Out of control. There's not one dude that went up and said, dude, your face, bro. Come on, stop with it. I'm telling you this because I love you, all right?

You got to stop. You know, no one said that, right? Yeah, when people start fucking with their face, change a little bit. When you have that much power. I don't little bit. When you have that much power. I don't understand that. When you have that much power. He had so much power.

Anybody say shit, they're cut. He's paying everybody within a five mile radius of him. He's paying all their salaries. Anybody fucks up, they're gone. And that's ever since he was a little kid. Think about that. Ever since you were a little kid, you had no boundaries.

You had unlimited money and influence over everyone around you. How could that affect you as a human? When you get older, you're like, boundaries you had unlimited money and influence over everyone around you like how could that affect you as a human be like when you get older like i gotta turn white how could you have any character at all i don't know you would have to be a complete mess there's no way you would ever have an opportunity to develop a character you'd just be fucked he was a fucking musical genius even though i didn't buy any of these goddamn cds but i understand why people liked him and shit but but man he definitely was the most affected by his fame

celebrity ever well he was also probably the most famous guy ever too I mean the dude was right up there right who's more famous than him yeah exactly is there anybody yep he's the most famous and the most fucked up maybe Muhammad Ali in his prime may have been right up there Elvis in his prime dude was building carnivals

at his houses and shit you know what I mean that was some serious shit only dude ever to build a carnival in his house you know what i mean and he said like who's doing that pet lions weird stuff like that there's so much negativity attached to him but if you're in a club and want to be starting something comes on people fucking throw their hands up in the air when i do a little little little little little little you know that part when that when that fucking song kicks in man people throw their hands up in there they love it people just have respect for good music dude yeah good music is good music say what you want about the person but damn it like tlc i love that song comes on like all these guys come out

you know that were apparently gay throughout their the height of their musical careers like dude from Judas Priest

dude from Queen like later they come out like George Michael all that shit they all come out and no one gives a fuck yeah no one cares we're like

we like your music so much we don't care that you're gay even the South don't even give a shit the South Judas Priest is huge in Alabama and no one hates gays more than them so much we don't care that you're gay even the south don't even give a shit yeah the south that judas priest is huge in alabama and no one hates gays more than them nobody hates gays more than mississippi you know what i mean ymca it's too happy like no one hates that song yeah that's a

silly song but like judas priest man that they were they were hilarious they were great gays great powerful energetic gays that's a close. You hear that? That's my neck. Damn. Those are a couple loud cracks there, Ronda Rousey. Yeah. What are you doing? Working on guillotine defense? No, no, I just I'm like pop rocks, dude. Everything I can like hear that. That was my bag.

Is that just from a lifetime of judo? Now the fingers. Whoa. Whoa. Is that grabbing colors? This is your gripping. Because judo, you only grip with these bottom three fingers. And just going like this over and over. And people ripping out as hard as they can all the time. Every time I fought, I had to tape over my fingers to tape my nails down.

So they wouldn't get ripped off. It's a game of who can grab who's shit better. Squeezing like this and holding and getting ripped. Holding as hard as you can and getting it ripped out like repeatedly for years, it messes your fingers up. When did you start doing judo? When I was 11, it was my first tournament, my first,

I was on my 11th birthday. Wow. Yeah. And you're 24 now? That's when you started? Well, I started a few months before that, so I was 10.

Wow. But I counted, because it was right on my birthday and I started a few months before that, so I counted. It's just too perfect. That's amazing. All those years of grabbing shit and manipulating bodies.

When you see someone and they're wearing a nice winter coat, isn't it almost tempting to just ragdoll them? I have something to grab. Some douchey dude in a winter coat. You're like, bitch, you know what I could do to you If I just Grab your fucking jacket Do you look at that

Like if you see a dude In a jacket You're like That's like a treat to you Right Well now doing MMA It's like I'm kind of spoiled now

I don't like the gi so much anymore Especially like on the ground It's like So much friction That like I can't like Do everything as fast as I want to Right It's like

It's so much easier To like to stall out You know If you're wearing a gi so going no gi it's like it's more fun now did you do no gi a lot while you were doing judo or do you only do judo with gi i only did it like after the olympics because that's when i uh i just took a year off and i was like okay i'm gonna be a bartender and just be normal because i've just been training my entire life and um so then i was grappling and going to heists and stuff all the time and hanging out with those guys. And that's when I first started doing, like, no-gi on a regular basis.

And then I was the first start suggesting, like, hey, you would do really good in MMA. You should do it. Okay, wait a minute. So after you won the what medal in the Olympics? Bronze. You won the bronze. Awesome.

What year was that? 2008. Awesome. God damn. You're a bronze medalist in the Olympics? Bronze. You won the bronze. Awesome. What year was that? 2008. Awesome. God damn. You're a bronze medalist in the Olympics. Ronda Rousey's a badass bitch. Not the kids division.

I went to the Olympics before that. I was 17. This is like the real fucking Olympics. That's pretty incredible, man. I can swear in this thing, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We encourage it. Who won the gold? If they do, they're going to learn some good stuff. No, the girl who won the gold was the Japanese girl who whenever I fought her, we're going to learn some good stuff. No, the girl who won the gold was the Japanese girl who whenever I fought her, we always went to golden score.

Last time we fought, I was having a horrible day. But we fought in France. What does went to golden score mean? Golden score is like if you don't score in five minutes, then you go add another five minutes on the clock and the first score wins. And so we fought in France a couple months before that and we went the full 10 minutes with no score.

And I was having a crap day that day, too, and then the referees gave it to her because, of course, she's Japanese, and then we fought at the Kano Cup, and I beat the number one and the number two Japanese girl, and then I fought her in the final, and they fucked me over in the golden score round. So she said I was the one that she didn't want to fight in the Olympics, and however the draw worked out, she got to fight for first place, and I lost to the girl that she didn't want to fight in the Olympics and however the draw worked out she got to fight for first place and I lost the girl that she beat so I

fought the third I've always felt that wins by advantage like wins by advantage at least in jiu-jitsu they always seemed like bullshit to me like that's a draw you just wanted to give it to somebody you know it just seems advantages are ridiculous yeah it's like nothing happened nothing happened man I mean what one guy's on top is really but you know what in in its defense a lot of matches end up in a tie yeah and you gotta give it to someone i know you give it to the guy who almost did the most shit but how often does it happen where that isn't that like isn't that like the the biggest problem like in in judging like the yeah the scoring system in mma the biggest problem in judging? Yeah, the scoring system in MMA, the scoring system in jiu-jitsu, man.

Is judo scoring system fucked up? It's totally messed up. Really? Yeah, it's really up to the discretion of the referees a lot of the time. I always had to fight to win every match twice, pretty much. I was always trained to be like, you said you had to win every match twice on a bad day. That's how good you had to get. Because there were so many times, like, on my first Olympics,

I fought the girl first round, and I threw her flat on her back in front of God and everyone, and all the referees just pretended it didn't happen. Like, it's like that corrupt. So that should have been how many points? That should have been it. I should have won. Oh, really?

That should be the whole match. Yeah. What is that called in judo again Ipan is that what it's called yeah yeah and that means it's that corrupt is there video footage of this can we see this yeah you know that's a realistic one you know like the thing about judo one of the things that I love is like if you you know you see a tournament the guy gets slammed on his head and that is the match well that is the match in real life too too. In real life, it's way worse. On concrete? Fuck yeah.

There's a video of this Russian kid, this boxer is fighting this Russian judo kid. They're having a street fight. And the Russian judo guy grabs this motherfucker and throws him onto his head, onto the concrete. And it's horrifying. The dude just he just goes gonzo

out. Judo is excellent for the street. Oh, my God. Amazing for the street. You could just throw a dude and just bam. I talked to Caro and Manny Gamburian about growing up and using their judo on the streets. Oh, my God. They're not shy about telling you that they've dumped plenty of people. Yeah, especially people wearing clothes.

A person wearing a jacket. What about you? Have you ever used your judo? Unless you're going to a nudity party, you're pretty well set. Have you ever used your judo on the street? Some bitch acts up at a party. You think you all that? Well, no.

I got in a couple fights in school just because I didn't look that intimidating. Kids would try to push me around and um which throw which one Kazakatami oh in the 6th grade

I threw this one boy with Osotogari on his head Osotogari is the one where the leg goes in between the legs no it's on the outside

the outside oh judo throw which is the one where the leg goes in is it Hashi what is it in between the legs Uchimata

Uchimata yeah and when it goes all across the outside of the legs. That's Haragoshi. Oh. Joe, trying to learn that judo. Trying to learn some judo.

Judo. I get that shit wrong. He gets reamed on that net sometimes for, is jujitsu commentary better than, My judo commentary's not so hot.

Is jujitsu commentary better than anybody out there? Striking commentary pretty fucking damn sharp. Yeah. It's very like lame. Wrestling? Anyone can understand and get into it too.

His wrestling's good. Man, that judo. It's hard to learn those kamikazes. Kamikazes. Dude, I didn't know the names of any throws. I didn't take any tests to be promoted. Those are cool ass names though. Yeah, they are cool ones you learn them.

Uchimata. There's so many throws I knew and I didn't know the name for so long. Come on, that's a dope name. I just had a change. You know what's my favorite throw? Listen to this. Retard. Listen to the name of this throw.

This throw is the one I got my bronze medal Olympics with. It's called Sode Surukamagoshi. Whoa. Right? Sode Surukamagoshi. Is that the headlock one? And he called it Sode for short. Like I gave him all nicknames.

Wow. Like that thing I caught Sara D'Elia with. I was trying to do a throw, and I messed up and turned it into the armbar. And I called it Sumi for short. But it's actually called, like, Sumigyeshi. Or Sumigyeshi or something like that, the other one. Do you know how to speak Japanese? No.

I was supposed to live in Japan and, like, live and train there for Team Komatsu. Because Komatsu, that company that makes, like, the cranes and stuff, they have, like, a company team of judo players that they sponsor to live and just train full-time pretty much and they have like one foreign person that they bring in to train with them for like a year and they'll like have them work for the company you know which is pretty much trained with a team and then they give you like Japanese lessons and you live there in Japan they pay you like a lot and I was supposed to go there and do that but But after a week, I was like, this sucks.

I don't want to do judo anymore. And I went home and started doing MMA. Did you just get tired of it because there was no money in judo? Is there a professional judo league? No, no. There's just certain teams like that, kind of. But it's really hard to make money as a judo player. Especially in the U.S.

Was that a reason to get into MMA? Was it a financial reason? No, I to make money as a judo player. Was that a, was that a reason to get into MMA? Was it a financial reason? I just didn't like doing judo anymore. Cause I could pay the bills with like the funding that I was getting for like the national guarding body and stuff like that. But, um, yeah,

I just didn't like it. They pay athletes to train. Um, is that what it is? Yeah. They, they like, what kind of like give you like checks monthly if you like qualify with so

many points. Enough to pay the rent for me. Yeah. But I was like, it of like give you like checks monthly if you like qualify with so many points. Enough to pay the rent? For me, yeah. But I was like, it was like me. I was like of two people or something like that. So you're a superstar judo player? Not superstar. I mean, but if I went to any judo tournament, people would know me.

Nice. But it's such a small community, you know, like it's not like. It's a crazy skill. Yeah, it's a weird. So what was the move again? You you decided after the Olympics in 2008, I'm going to take a break. You started bartending and then you start hanging out the guys from highest on how you met him at a.

Oh, no, I knew them. I knew them since I was a kid. I started training with them when I was like 11. OK, like 11, 12. But then you walked away from my ass. I cried every single practice. They would beat me up. I was like, kick my ass. I cried every single practice. They would beat me up until I was like crying. Really?

Every practice, yeah. Every practice? Do you think that's how you got really good? I cried from like 2002 to like 2005. That's incredible. And you kept coming back? Usually when you cry three times straight, you're like, fuck this. No, it wasn't because something hurt.

It was because I'd get really frustrated. Because no matter how big they were, I was frustrated that I couldn't catch them, you know? Like, I don't know. I had like a thing where I just I wanted to beat everybody and like I would cry I couldn't so is that where you got most of your judo training from highest on no, I got it all over the place My mom she's unbelievable. She would drive me like four different judo clubs like a week Why was your mom was a judo champion, right? Oh shit. Okay. Damn in the family bitches dropping bitches on heads yeah she won the world championships in 1984 she's the first American to win the world championships in judo wow say that again she's the first American like man or woman to win the world

championships in judo what she's only been like four people ever to do it wow that's amazing so she was a she's a superstar in judo your mom kind of I mean that's like that sounds like a superstar in judo. Your mom. Kind of. Yeah, I mean, that sounds like a superstar, period. Nice. My mom rocks. So you're like Kron Gracie. Yeah, you're like Hicks and Gracie's kid. Right?

But for, like, woman judokas. I guess. So what happened exactly that made you get into MMA? What was it? Do you remember a specific conversation? No, it was just kind of like, okay, because people in the coast guard were like you can be a coast guard and be a rescue swimmer and like they brought they like people down to like

take me to their base and like had me like go along like on the boat drills with them so i could see the helicopter and the guy jumping out of the helicopter and they're like us and they're like yeah we'll skip you the two-year waiting list you just go to boot camp and you hang out for a few months and then we're gonna send you right to rescue swimmer school you can like just jump out of helicopters and do this stuff for your life. And all the guys there were like, man, we only have like three girl swimmers. Like, that'd be awesome.

It's like being a kid your whole life, you know. You just hang out and jump out of helicopters all day and save people. It's awesome. But my mom didn't like the idea because they have a higher fatality rate than people going to war, you know. It's like a really dangerous job.

So, and plus once i committed to it i couldn't turn back or anything so i was like well that sounds pretty awesome but i would have to move every four years or something like that and i didn't have any say where i could live so it'd be like i would have to move from like north carolina to like alaska to like hawaii isn't it crazy that they can even do that that anything that they can sign you up for anything i know you signed it man you signed the piece of paper now you are slave or you go to jail yeah you can't quit I mean this that is the most ridiculous thing but really that's the only way you can have an army the only way you can have an army is you can't

quit you know you have to come to some really irrational agreement where you know you have to do everything they tell you get up when they tell you they're gonna wake you up early So you get used to it? Thank God we were this country's filled with wild animals who have got the balls of a fucking buffalo And are willing and they want to go to Afghanistan. They can't fucking wait They can't fucking wait Funded by the military's the kids are like They can't fucking wait. They can't fucking wait. It's because they've been playing Call of Duty since they were nine. There's less of them every day.

That stuff's all funded by the military. So the kids are like, I want to be a soldier. And they're all ready for it by that time. There was a shortage. I remember I was watching one of those Marine commercials where the dude was fucking jumping over these obstacles and running and climbing this net. And he pulls out a sword. And you're watching.

It's all like video game shit. He's doing karate. And it's like a video game sword and you're watching it's all like video game shit like you know he's doing like karate and it's like a video game and you're watching like god damn I want to be a fucking marine oh yeah if your life sucks if your life is boring like shit that looks awesome yeah you shouldn't be able to like but that's like such false advertising you know what I mean fucking didn't even look like real people. It's like a goddamn video game. He's throwing kicks and sparks are flying. That would be illegal for a regular company.

Trying to miss each other. And they're like, this isn't a video game. This is real life. They're like, crisis averted, sir. If they were a private company. Do you remember that commercial? Yes, yes. They would get sued.

If they were a private company. If it wasn't the government. If they were McDonald's. They'd be people fucking with lawsuits going, that is not. It's not what I signed up for. Yeah, you can't't the government, there would be people fucking with lawsuits going, that is not what I signed up for. Yeah, you can't sue the government. That's the thing that sucks. Yeah, it would be like.

They could go crazy. They can go crazy. They should do a straight up lie. They should have like, you know, dudes like Marines like partying on fucking yachts and stuff like that with a bunch of chicks. Go to fucking Singapore. Go to fucking the Philippines. And they're all just partying. I got sent to the basement by. Yeah, like, they're all pumping and something.

They got fucking rifles and they're dancing and it's a party. That's why they do the rifle tossing, spinning thing. They're like, it's fun. I'm gonna play with guns and spin them. Make Afghanistan look like paradise. You know what I mean?

What if they could devise a program? Like, look at my tan. What if they could make Afghanistan look like paradise? You know what I mean? What if they could devise a program? Like, look at my hand. What if they could devise a program where when you're in one of their spacecrafts, one of their fighter jets or something like that, that while you're looking at everything through the lens gets distorted and changed so it looks like you're fighting off monsters? That would be brilliant. Like, instead of people, it looks like you're fighting fucking zombies. Like every person just registers. So then you would just have no remorse.

Yeah, you'd have no fucking remorse whatsoever. It would completely change everything. It would change the color of the, make a nightmarish scenario down there, and it would all be zombies. How about this? That's how you would see reality. How about the government forms the biggest gaming company, and they're going to run live games where everyone could jump in

but people don't know they're actually killing real people in Afghanistan. They think they're playing tournaments and shit. Have you ever read the book Ender's Game? What is that? Ender's Game. Ender's Game? That's my favorite book ever. It's an Orson Scott Card sci-fi novel. I've never heard of it.

I don't want to spoil the end but but there's like involved like video games. They're like, they fool these kids into thinking like these super genius kids into thinking it's like actually just video games, but it's like real war. I didn't invent that. So they're completely like, they're completely original and they're not biased. I was about to put that on my phone. They think it's a game and they just like, they use these small brilliant kids. What's it called?

It's getting so close. Ender's Game. It's a real movie? I think it's a game and they just like, they use these small brilliant kids. What's it called? It's getting so close. Ender's Game. It's a real movie? No, it's a book. I think they might be making a movie out of it. Damn. Look how good those video games look now. Look how close we are to like almost emulating real life.

It's pretty close. I mean, it's not there totally yet. You can still tell it's a video game. But for how much longer? Money comes out instead of blood. Yeah, I mean, but I mean, when's not there totally yet. You can still tell it's a video game. But for how much longer? But I mean, when you're watching video games, the interaction that you have with a lot of these characters now, it's so good. Eventually, it's

going to get to a point where, between when the movie, the motion picture was invented, and video games today, like that kind of, the ability to create the kind of image they can create today, what is going to, you take that same timeline of like 100 years and put it into the future fuck man it probably will look exactly like real life it'll probably for our our eyes be indistinguishable yeah that's gonna be real people interacting with each other too like through the internet a lot of time with

their own characters and it becomes so realistic like people might lose reference to which one then you put a 3D helmet once they get virtual reality 3D helmet where like it's all your peripheral everything once they get that down and it isn't just a rectangle and then you could go into like a virtual world once

you could do that shit you know what they're gonna do with movement you know how they do movement it's pretty dope they do it in a giant like hamster ball. What? Yeah. So you have this. Hamster ball.

What's a hamster ball? You know how hamsters, they walk, they roll on those wheels? Hamster wheel. You know how they keep going? Yeah. But it's a ball. It goes in all different directions. They have balls, too.

You put them in there, and they roll it backwards and forwards and side to side. It's like that. So as you're going forward, you're probably going to have some sort of a sensation that you're causing this thing to move. But you will, other than that, you will be in an ever-changing, constant, real, live environment inside your own fucking head with a 3D helmet on.

When is this happening? Well, they already have invented rudimentary ones. They're not that good, though. It's just that I don't think they have the technology yet to recreate, you know, giant worlds like that in real time. And, you know,

I don't know. I mean, I don't know how much has been invested in it. Have you seen the documentary? They got the fucking guys who make video games on it. I'm sure they could pull it off. Have you seen the documentary

Transcendent Man? Yes. Yeah. Amazing, right? Yeah, incredible. I saw it last night. I was three in the morning going, holy fuck, that's an amazing documentary.

Transparent man. One of my students recommended it to me. There was that other guy that was scary in that documentary, the one who kept referring to them as atalex. Atelex. The guy who lives in China. The guy who's, he was, I forget his name. I should remember his name.

But he was talking about how he doesn't see it as being such a rosy future. You know, when things go live and all of a sudden there's an intelligent computer that's like pulling plugs. And, you know, a lot of people sense that could go really badly for us. Basically, Ray Kurzweil, he's just one of the most brilliant men that's ever lived. He's predicted exactly what a computer is now. He predicted that shit. He actually invented the synthesizer, right? He invented over 100 different things.

He has like 100 different patents. He's a genius. He's a mad scientist. And every prediction he's given throughout his life has come true. And his latest prediction is by within 25 years or 30 years, something like that. It was late. I watched this last night. I don't remember all the facts. But within 25 years, he's saying that technology and biology will merge into one.

So we'll already have mastered how to immortality. And artificial intelligence will get to the point where it can make itself. Wow. And, you know, he's talking about no more computers. Like the computer we have now, that's considered like an 8-track tape in 25 years. Computers will be in our blood. It'll be in our bloodstream.

Like there'll be like super crazy ultra hyper nanobots in our fucking bloodstream keeping us alive fighting disease giving us the ultimate memory i mean this is what he's saying and he's been right about everything and and it just seems like they're gonna figure everything out eventually right now they're having like like like experiments at berkeley I heard this that um very reliable sources that they actually have like computer chips and these monkeys brains and they can like move cursors around on a computer screen by like thinking about it and like clicking on things yeah I think they've done that

with paralyzed people as well yeah yeah I believe they have. Yeah. Yeah, with their eyes. That's crazy. Do you think? You're just going to have computers in your contact lens. Or as your retina. You're just going to Twitter every thought that you have. All this is going to be the old west, like this kind of shit. Yeah. They're like wires. They had wires and things.

Talking is going to be for fucking retards. You know what I mean? What are you going to put on tables? You're not going to have any stuff. There's still going to have to be for fucking retards. You know what I mean? What are you going to put on tables? You're not going to have any stuff. There's still going to have to be a real tangible world where people have to mine for all this shit and get these minerals to create these things. That's the really freakiest, really the freakiest part about technology and where everything's going is if you go to the root of technology, it's rare minerals and they're in the Congo. Like most of this stuff that they need to make, like, cell phones and laptops and shit, it's all in, like, these terrible, dark places

where people are barefoot, and they're pulling it out by hand. You know, I mean, you watch the Vice Guide to the Congo. It's amazing shit, man. Like, it's really, it's crazy. We can't even imagine. It's, like, worse than Mad Max, you know? The Congo, it's a crazy jungle.

And they have children working there. And there was all this weirdness there with armies and different fighting factions. It's a super dangerous place to go to. And that's where all these minerals are coming out. They're slaughtering people. An unprecedented rate in the Congo. It's really scary shit. It's very dangerous to go down there. Remember the unprecedented race rate in the Congo. It's like really scary shit. Like it's very dangerous to go down there.

Remember the documentary we saw in the Congo? It's a BBC documentary called Congo. And it's not about anything politically or anything. It's about the Congo, how the jungle is so vast and so dense that no white man has been able to conquer it. Anybody, they try to, you know, France went in and like all these different kind of like england they're always trying to colonize parts of africa but they haven't been able to do it it's the jungle is so dense and so dark and so evil and so unforgiving they all go insane anybody like a colonist will go out there and go we're

gonna conquer this this is gonna be be the beginning of a colony. They all go insane and they all die. They can't hang out there. It's so stupid. It's like moving into an alien war path. That's what it is out there. That's a battlefield. There's bugs and snakes and jaguars and chimps and this and that and that and this.

Nine-year-olds with guns. Spiders. Nine-year-olds with guns. Yeahiders. Nine-year-olds with guns. Yeah, the people. Yeah, they're even scarier. Giant tarantulas. Like the size of a rabbit. They're hunted in swarms. Yeah, think about that.

That is the nuttiest thing. They're not solo. One tarantula will spit the shit out of me. I hate the solo. But a swarm? I don't think it's a tarantula. It's like Harry Potter. I don't think it's a tarantula. I don't think it's a tarantula.

It's something like that. It's big and black. It's a nasty spider. And they do hunt in packs. It's the only place in the world where they've ever observed tarantulas or any bugs, rather, hunting or spiders hunting in packs. You know, spiders usually have a web and that's their web. Not that, you know.

That is crazy. These dudes figured out, look, we could all take down a deer if we just get together. Can you imagine that? How smart must they be? A smart bug somehow is really scary to me. I don't want a smart bug to be around. How about you want to see the clearest sign ever of adaptation and evolution on Earth? It's the Congo.

Because the Congo just 2,000 plus years ago was like grasslands. And so there's all these animals that are stuck inside the Congo that used to be like grasslands animal. Like there's a thing called, I think it's called a duiker. And it's a type of antelope. It's this little tiny like short legged antelope that now can swim underwater for a hundred yards and it eats fish. Shut up.

Yeah. Because the jungle just swarmed around like, bitch, you want to survive? Well, guess what? Leaves aren't going to do it anymore. Okay? There's a lot of water around here, and you're going to have to, you ever try eating fish?

And the antelope's like, what the fuck are you talking about? We don't kill things. Yeah. An antelope figured out how to eat fish. How quick a digestive system would have to change to handle something completely different like that. In certain parts of the Congo,

the jungle is actually, it's evolving into the jungle. Yeah. Jungle is growing. So it's like you said, it's like these animals that were... It takes over all these... There's rhinos that are stuck in the Congo. There's all these plains animals, like gazelles and shit.

The video is beautiful. I remember when they were running through the splash of the water. It's like they're just trapped in there. They're stuck. They're stuck and they can't get out. They're in this rainforest, but they're not rainforest animals. It's really weird. So it's a rainforest, but there's like deer running through it.

Very strange, you know. And it's just, there's parts of it that are just impenetrable. It's amazing, amazing. You know that guy Shane Smith that we had? He invited me to go with him to try to find the fucking man-sized chimps in the Congo. I'm like, bitch, I ain't going to the Congo. Are you crazy? People, chimps, I'm your pimps.

Chimps. No, there's a giant chimp. Chimp people. There's a thing called the Bondo ape. It's a huge gray chimp. Shut up. Huge, enormous, over six feet tall. A lot of their photos of them walking upright.

What? Enormous chimpanzees. And they nest on the ground like gorillas. But they're so deep in the Congo. they've there's a guy named carl armand he's a uh a wildlife photographer that has been going there since 1996 and all he's got is like camera photos and photos of skulls and it's like it's really fucking hard to find them but a research team in somewhere in the 2000s the early 2000s went and they got not only did they get photos of them, they got video of one eating a jaguar. Shut up. This is the craziest thing.

The locals say there's two different types of chimps. There's the tree beaters and the lion killers. They call them lion killers. These are giant 300, 400 pound chimpanzees that can walk upright and they have all gray hair. It's like that fucking shitty movie. Remember that movie Congo? Do you remember that movie,rian i never saw it but i know what you're talking about who's it michael priton the guy wrote jurassic park he wrote all those he wrote

that right i think so yeah he well it's based on a real fucking monkey wow they really have them they shot one in like the early 1900s so and you know nobody could tell what the fuck it was well they when the one they shot they took a photo of it and they have it that had it on like a stick They shot one in the early 1900s, and nobody could tell what the fuck it was. The one they shot, they took a photo of it, and they had it on a stick, and everybody's like, what is that, some sort of a mutant gorilla? What the fuck is that thing? Well, that's what it was. It was one of these crazy giant chimps. There's a whole lost subspecies of chimps, and they're huge, and they're aggressive, and they eat big cats.

Wow. Cats are gnarly. Dude, chimps are the gnarliest animals on the planet. If chimps were as big as elephants, do you know how bad they would run the world? We wouldn't be able to do anything about it. If there really was a King Kong, he would have jumped off that Empire State Building and grabbed his dick when he hit the ground.

A real chimp that's that big? They're so fucking strong, man. They're super organisms. And to think that a regular one that's 150 pounds is the strength of a 500-pound man. They've shown them. They've done exercises with these things where they've given them candy for picking up certain things and moving things or pulling on things, see how hard they can pull it they had some female chimpanzee and with one arm she had some it was insane it was like thousands of pounds she was pulling with one arm and it looked effortless to her

looked just effortless like we can't even wrap our heads around how fucking strong a six foot tall 400 pound chimp would be Crazy chimp that's eaten jaguars. God damn! Think of a bunch of them. Think of like five. Well, they're hunting packs too. They're hunting packs. Well, that was one of the things they got rushed on.

One of the stories by these scientists is they got rushed on by them, and the chimps got scared off when they saw people's faces and they panicked. But they said it was fucking terrifying because they weren't coming to scare anybody away they were rushing on them quiet they were coming in as hunting they were hunting but then they saw the people's faces they saw the white faces and they freaked out and they took off but these were just fucking scientists and you know i don't know if they are even armed i mean i don't think you're supposed to go walking through the car and go armed no you know i think they fucking shoot you so they probably didn't even have guns so what are they doing they're wandering through the fucking congo and they get rushed on by a team of giant gray chimps

giant six foot tall murderous gray chimps with crests on their head like gorillas crests they have crests on their head and when they're when they get angry like a dog, their hair puffs up in the back like a mohawk. God damn! You know how scary that would be? In the jungle and these motherfuckers are running up on you. Staring at you.

Shit! Shit! You know, this isn't a zoo. You're a fucking hundred days walk to the nearest town. Wow. Did you see the video with the baboons who train dogs? Yeah. Isn't that crazy?

What? You never think in Africa. Africa, they do have cities. It's not all jungle and dudes with spears have cities, right? Cities have dumps. So you think, what would a dump in Africa consist of? Our dumps out here might have coyotes. We got some seagulls.

We got some squirrels and shit, some rabbits or whatever. In Africa, they have baboons hanging out at the dump. They have baboons all over the dump. And that's where they get their fucking food. And they raise dogs to take care of the baboon babies against other fucking baboons. So they'll take a dog, and they'll fucking grab it and drag it down the fucking mouth.

They steal the puppies. And they sit on them and train them. They train them to obey. And then they got friends, and they're their best friends. And the dogs bark when anything comes near so they can sleep. Yeah. They train them like a dog, like a watchdog. That's some real shit.

The world's changing quick. You're seeing these weird, like, kind of evolutions happening that, like, you wouldn't see happening so fast. Like, I was seeing this thing about, like, bird colonies, and there used to be all these bird colonies that would, like, coexist peacefully on this island, and then suddenly, like, one bigger, like, breed of bird was like, hey, just go to go eat those

birds and they just started going and eating the bird babies from the other colonies like all of a sudden within the past couple years wow and what are they attributed to probably a lack of food well you know that there's a big uh instances or a lot of instances of polar bear cannibalism now they're observing all these polar bears eating each other. Really at unnormal rates. It's always, bears have always eaten other bears, especially late in the season, like before they're going into hibernation. Like a lot of times if food's scarce

or something goes wrong, they'll eat their cubs. Well, dolphins fucking eat other dolphins. I mean, killer whales eat dolphins. Yeah, but I think dolphins eat other dolphins. They just do it to get the females. Fuck. Did you hear about

those killer whales that were documented killing sharks, like great white sharks? Killer whales were killing sharks. Yeah, killer whales are the

baddest motherfuckers in the ocean. They're like people brains in this giant, like, super body. There's not great footage that can kill whales.

Yeah, they don't have good footage. There's one, there's one news piece. They did a documentary on it where they get, like, you see the killer whale roll, and he has something in his mouth, but you haven't seen it clear. But, I mean, wouldn't that be the most amazing piece of film where you actually can see a great killer whale?

To the people who watched that happen, how badass must that have been? You know, fuck going front row with the UFC. Imagine being in the ocean on a boat, and you're watching a killer whale and a shark fight to the death. A great white shark. Like not like just like some other like homeboy blue shark. Like this is a great white gnarly shark. I don't think they can fuck with a killer whale. Killer whales are too smart, too big.

It's just it's like, you know what it's like? It's like they're just kind of dumb fish. You know, they're dumb eating machines. That's what I'm saying. The killer whales figured out, they hit them and, like, bite it by the tail and roll it over so it would, like, fall asleep and just drown. And then they just eat it.

It's like Frank Mir against a bodybuilder. It's so interesting. Bodybuilders look scary. You know what I mean? Like, killer whales. I was like, dude, I dude i know some jujitsu stand-ups get better my friends here like oh dude oh that's hilarious everybody's scared a killer of uh sharks but if killer whales wanted to fuck people up that would be the real

man it happens all the time with killer whale trainers they get like yeah well they they should you know what man they should let those whales go. That's fucked up. What they're doing is totally wrong. These animals have a direct connection with their parents, and they steal them from them. And then they take them, and they put them in these fucking fish tanks. They wonder why they kill people.

They're thinking animals. Isn't it amazing, though? It's amazing, though, when they'll kill someone. The bottom dollar, the bottom line is let's we can't kill that motherfucker is to get another one and train them it's worth it just to take a chance and make fucking trainer sign waivers and shit we can't kill that killer yeah they can't they gotta keep they keep them alive well he's killed three people isn't that amazing yeah what is the call's name tilikum or something like that. Whatever the name of the whale. It's not Shamu.

Has Shamu killed anyone yet? To get another one to perform like that? Yeah. They take ones that kill people. We got to just let them kill. We can't get rid of them. If they kill someone else, fuck it. It's amazing. And he knows that he can kill people and get away with it, too.

That's what's incredible. He's killed three different people. And what kind of, you know. He's like a dog, you know. You know, after the second, third time, they got to whip them a little bit. You know,

they're doing something like electrocuting him or trying to teach him. Don't do it no more. Shit. They can't. You can't just can't go in the tank

with them. No one can go in the tank with them anymore. You can't like they're trying to use him for breeding and shit, but you can't go

in the tank. So they're not part of the show anymore. I don't think he does. He'll do things at a distance, but I don't think you're allowed to get actually in the tank with them. So they're not part of the show anymore. I don't think he... How did he kill three people? He'll do things at a distance, but I don't think you're allowed to get actually in the tank with him.

I want to see a documentary about that fucking... Can you imagine? Give me each... I want to know about each story and how the fuck it happened. I think he pulled the last one. He reached up and grabbed her and pulled her into the water and drowned her.

And he did it in front of a bunch of people. You know, he... he they all died I think I think she did she did something like she she rubbed his back or rubbed his belly or something said something like he really likes this and then he took off and then fucking just grabbed her and yanked her into the water you know and just I guess everybody just freaked the fuck out and once it's got you in the water, I mean, that's it. By the way, there's really nothing you can do. It was Shamu that killed somebody in February. Come on.

That's what it's saying online. I think there's a lot of Shamu's. I don't think there's just one Shamu. There's like baby Shamu and like Papa Shamu. There's a lot of imposters. There's a lot. They call like 20 of them Shamu. How many times?

Like all the lassies. Oh, Shamu. You know what I mean? That's Shamu. How many times? Like all the lassies? Oh, Shamu. You know what I mean? That's Shamu. How many times has the killer whales done that? 13 bucks. Motherfucker. Because he should be dead by now.

Shamu's been around for like 75 years. Those things live a long time. Come on. How many sea worlds are there? Yeah, dude. Like, whales live a long time. I want to know who the real fucking Shamu is, because they pulled that Bruce Lai shit on us, because that isn't all Shamu. That isn't all Shamu. because they pulled that Bruce Lai shit on us because that isn't all Shamu.

That isn't all Shamu. That's like the Bruce Lai shit right there. For people who don't know, Bruce Lee, when he died, they came out with a dude named Bruce Lai. He basically looked like kind of similar but not as ripped. How crazy was it that his last name was Lai? It was all Lai. Bruce fucking Lai. I know.

We weren't lying. We weren't lying. It's a lie. And you know what I mean? There was like 10 times more Bruce Lee movies made after he died than when he was alive. There was all these return of Game of the Death. There was like all Bruce Lee stars and fucking Anger of the Dragon, Resurrection of the Dragon. They didn't care.

The people making movies, they had no respect for the people. They're like, these guys are stupid. We're just going to make up some shit and make it seem like it's Bruce Lee. And people, I mean, Game of Death. They did it with that. Bruce Lee made like 10 minutes of it. He died. And they just said, fuck it.

Let's make the rest of it with a fucking double. They said, let's make the rest of it with a double. And they released it. And everyone watched it. He died. And they just said, fuck it. Let's make the rest of it with a fucking double. They said, let's make the rest of it with a double. And they released it. And everyone watched it. Because they knew kids couldn't tell. You know what I mean? Like when Britney Spears concert, she's lip syncing. Because you can't be dancing around like that and singing. You're going to be running out of breath. So they just make a decision.

These 12-year-old girls aren't going to know that Britney's... They don't even know what lip syncing is. You ask them what lip...cing is, they have no idea. They just want to see Britney Spears dancing. I think they're doing a better job than the people who made those late Bruce Lee movies. They're doing a way better job. They're doing something that someone actually likes. You would leave those Bruce Lee movies and you'd go, what the fuck did I just see?

It's incredible. The Japanese don't give a fuck. Well, not just those dudes. I believe it was the Chinese. The Chinese. I'm sorry. Chinaman. Well, not just those dudes. I believe it was Chinese. The Chinese. I'm sorry. Chinaman. Yeah, you can't confuse those two, bro.

Do you get confused with Julia Stiles a lot? I've heard that since like middle school. Who's Julia Stiles? The girl from like 10 Things I Hate About You. Dexter. Dexter. Dexter. Who's she on Dexter?

Born, I didn't. Or someone born. I didn't know all about her. Yeah. Save the Last Dance. That's the one that people? Born, I didn't, or someone born. I don't even know all about her. Yeah. Save the Last Dance. That's the one that people are like, you're that girl from Save the Last Dance. Here's some photos of Julia Stiles. But, like, I was like, you look so familiar.

And then I'm like thinking, oh, I'm thinking of Julia Stiles. Well, you've always watched Strike Force, man. You've probably seen her fight. Yeah, I see that, too. Now, when you threw that dude on his head, when you did that crazy move, where this was in high school school What happened to the guy? I mean what happened afterwards? The ambulance come?

Did you get thrown in jail? He went to the emergency room And I got community service Because it was self-defense And how did it go down? What did he say to you? And what did you say back to him? He like grabbed me by the neck

At a bar? No At like the quad area It was sixth grade Oh it was in school That was a long time ago He just came up to you and said I don't like you I'm gonna grab you by the neck At a bar? No, at like the quad area. It was sixth grade. Oh, it was in school. That was a long time ago. He just came up to you and said, I don't like you.

I'm going to grab you by the neck. Yeah, he wanted money or something from me. Because I was like a little girl. I didn't look like much. And he was a couple years older than you? Four years? Five years? No, I think he was in the same grade. He was bigger.

And he just came up to you, grabbed your neck, and you just reacted instantly. Yeah. Knocked him out? And then cut his head in the back damn did he ever come back to school again or did he transfer to a different county no he still went there we didn't talk to him i would have transferred myself to a fucking i would have taken a bus went two hours but i always get in trouble it's never worth it it's never worth it every time i got in a fight the last fight i got sued i got jumped by a bunch of dudes and they sued me where where was this this is in a movie theater in santa monica while watching like

while watching juno yeah you were in the theater and some guy jumped you okay here's what happened i'll just do it quick um we walked in and like the whole theater was like packed except for like all these people had their feet up. Like, those were the only, like, seats in a row. And so, like, we sat down, and they had to put their feet down. They're like, oh, that's so annoying. They were, like, that loud group of people in the movie theater. Like, my cousin's phone went off at one point, and they all started calling her a cunt.

And, like, you know, they were, like, whenever a character would come on and be like, I'd fuck her. You know, like, they were, like were that obnoxious group of people. But the girl that was sitting behind me, instead of putting her shoes down when I sat down, she put her boots, her Ugga boots. She had Ugga boots with a skirt on, which I hate that already, on both sides of my head. And she even knocked me in the head at some point during the movie. So I was like, you know what?

This movie Gino's really good. So I'm going to watch the rest of this movie. But after this movie's over, I'm going to throw her a shoe, and I'm going to tell her to get some manners. So after the movie was over, I stood up, and I took her Ugg boot off, and I threw it, and I said she should talk to her mother about getting some manners. And then my cousin. Was she white?

She was white, but the guys, there was like three couples, and the guys they were with, they were like all black. There might have been one white guy. There was like four guys and like a couple girls. So my cousin and my friend Marina, they like walked out, and it was like a movie theater aisle, so they couldn't get like around me, so they like cut me off as I was walking out, and they were like, oh, go get the boot, da-da-da.

And then I was like, no, I'm not going to do that, whatever. And I try to get past them and they like block me and push me back. And then like I told them that I was all like super like calm and stuff. It was weird. I was like, OK, well, if I'm going to try and get past you, don't let me. Then I have to do something. And I try to get through and the guy pushed me back and I got the guy by the shirt and I just started punching him. And his friend came behind me and he was friend over my shoulder and fucking turned into like this big thing where I beat up a couple of the guys and my Marina who was with me,

she was on the junior world team for judo. She, she was bad-ass. And then my cousin, she's, she's not that, you know, whatever,

but she like takes karate. She thinks she's, you know, really tough. So she jumped into, so it was like a kind of a group of three girls that are like, right. No know how to fight Oh shit

Yeah Fucking up dudes Yeah Whoa Why couldn't that be On cell phone footage God damn That would have been

The best YouTube video ever Everyone in the theater Was like applauding Because they were so obnoxious They were like That group of people Everyone was like Woo

So how did it end So it ended with The one Uchimato Everyone it ended with the one. Uchimata? Everyone, like I dropped the one guy. And then it's funny. I realized I couldn't find my shoe because I was wearing flip-flops.

You know, you fight in flip-flops. I was like wearing like rainbows or something. And I was like, I can't find my shoe. And it all turned, it all started from like a shooting throw. And then I lost my shoe. I thought that was somehow funny. That's hilarious. Yeah.

So then I found my shoe and then we all ran out. And my cousin's an idiot. And she was like, you don't know who you're messing with. Because whatever. She was like, she's an Olympic bronze medalist. And then they looked me up and they went to the police and they filed a police report on me. Oh, my God. What are these bitches' names so we can publicly humiliate them?

What are their names? I forget. I forget. Please email them to us and we'll put it on Twitter. What a bunch of bitches that like they said that i punched the girl which i never did but i guess like she was trying to like while i was hitting her boyfriend she was trying to like mash me in the face my friend marina pushed her off of me and she went face first into like the chairs and then what

they were trying to say in the police report was that i punched her. So what? You were getting attacked by men. Did you tell your mom you did judo at Juno? I never even thought of that. That's funny. Judo at Juno. Did you go to see Juno? That's the movie we were watching.

That's hilarious. You did judo at Juno. That's a great fucking story. That should be a YouTube clip. Totally. Make an animation of that shit. Come on, with some judo throws? Yeah, somebody make that.

You'd have to know the names. With that commentary cut in with some cartoon. There's a lot of people out there that need to be thrown on their fucking head. Okay, we always digress. We're really good at that. Digressing is good. What was the exact...

What got you into MMA Again We keep moving away From that for some reason Oh so I was like Well I'd like to try This MMA thing out

I think I'd be really good at it You saw UFC You were having a beer Going I could do that No I just I remember watching The girls fight at one point And just thinking

I could beat any of these girls Like What they're doing They're making this mistake here This mistake here I could have done that And I was just like I could beat any of these girls.

When did you start striking? Like a year ago. Whoa. Yeah. How's that going? You like it? Yeah, I love it. I love going to striking or anything else.

You training with Hard Dog? Training Anthony sometimes. I train with Edmund Tverdian most of the time. He's at Glendale. Glendale. Glendale Fighting Club. One of my favorite places. You know, there's always a debate out there,

and I guess there will always be a debate whether women's MMA will make it. Is there a place for it? There's a large percentage of the people out there that hate it, don't want it, or whatever. And then there's a group that, like me, I fucking love it. I think it would be awesome.

When Gina Carano fought Cyborg, there's a group that like me I fucking love it I think it would be awesome when when Gina Carano fought cyborg I watched it on my iPhone and all I heard from that iPhone was chicks screaming in that arena and it sounded like a Beatles fucking concert yeah and for anybody to think that I don't hold that video up right pull that video up watch that. Gina Carano versus Cyborg. You don't hear any guys going, kick his ass. You don't hear none of that. It's chicks screaming like they're at a fucking Lady Gaga concert.

Wow. It freaked me the fuck out. I've been to a million MMA shows. I never heard a crowd like that ever before. Not even at a football game. Football game, it's a roar. There's a giant market for women's MMA. And chicks like Cyborg, we already have the Mike motherfucking Tyson of MMA.

That's Cyborg. She's going out there destroying everybody. Cyborg is the destroyer. I think she's more Ivan Drago. You know what I'm saying? Or whatever. Ivan Drago. I see what you're saying.

Totally, because it's like Brazil. I see what you're saying. Totally, totally. And then now, shit, we got Ronda fucking Roosie coming rousey hold on turn this rousey turn the volume up on this brian listen to this shit this is cyborg quickly cyborg gina you're right man gina on top of her. Damn, I forgot all about this part of the fight. This is one of the most historic matches Now Cyborg gets her back, going for the guillotine. Carano trying to get to her feet.

This is one of the most historic matches of all time for MMA. We're watching this. For the folks who are hearing this on iTunes, we're watching Gino Carano versus Chris Cyborg, and it's a fucking crazy exchange right now. And Cyborg is teeing off on her. What a vicious body kick she just landed. Oh. And then she

go to... Oh, now Carano mounted her. Holy shit. I forgot about this. Totally forgot about this. Oh my god. I forgot Gina mounted her. She just tagged her. But Gina does not like being on the ground. She fell.

She stood up. That's amazing. She had her mounted and she stood up. Anybody who thinks women's MMA won't succeed. Listen to how pumped everyone is. They've got some serious issues. Everyone there is freaking out. This is a crazy fight, man.

I mean, that's basically a fucking destroyer against a supermodel. I mean, come on. Yeah, no shit. Gina's the only one who can make those cornrows look good, too. Gina is a badass, too. You you got to give it up to this chick such a difference in the their physical stature though you know cyborg is just so much stronger.

She was trying to roll for a knee bar there. I forgot about all these little exchanges. Yeah, it was only like the last second of the round. It could have gone on to another round, you know? Cyborg was just mauling her. I honestly forgot about how much Gina was in the fight. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. I just remembered that she got slaughtered.

If she was more confident with being on top, man, she was on top of her, ground and pounding her. She just threw a Superman punch. Yeah. She's looking bad. She had good technique, man. Gina has really good technique. Look at that jab. That was a serious jab.

Look at that hook. I wish she was still fighting. Oh, man. But Cyborg's so strong, dude. Wow. Wow. There's an iconic photo of these two where Cyborg is holding the side of Gina Carano's face. And punching her in the head with her other hand.

And it's like this really fucking powerful photo. Cyborg has incredible cardio. Super aggressive. Did she check that? There's too much power. Now, Ronda, this chick is like your weight class. What do you see when you see her? Do you like, when you're watching a video of her, are you like breaking her down?

Yeah. Looking for holes? I mean, there's just nothing technical about anything she does. It's just real physical? It's just pace and strength. She takes every punch in the face and she pulls her on top of her all the time. Right here, this is one of the photos. She was holding her with her hand and then punching her with the other hand.

So you don't feel like you're ground and pound or anything. You feel like it's all, like, just real aggressive. Yeah, I think that just the girls that she has fought are just so, like, not real. They're not real strong. They're not, like, real athletes in the way that, like, like the Cuban women's judo team. Oh, she went for a crazy Americana, but that was a wacky one. She didn't drag the elbow down to the body.

She's so strong, man. So strong. Her stand- up is so nasty That last fight that she had Who's the woman that she fought This past weekend The dominatrix Yeah the dominatrix in Japan

She probably took that fight Because she'd like it She wanted to get beat up But she got beat up She took her out in 16 seconds And it was pretty fucking ferocious Look at this This is a fucking beating right here, man.

God damn. Do you think Dana will ever change his mind and have this in the UFC? Or is it just not a big enough group of girls to do it? Is that it? Did they stop the fight? I mean, Dana changed his mind a lot. I think it's possible. He stopped it at the bell.

You know, here's his point, and it makes sense. There's not a lot of talented women out there. There's not, like, as many as there are men. You know, there's, like, the UFC is under contract. I don't know how many men. At one point in time, I know it was 250, but that was before the acquisition of Strikeforce. So, you know, between the guys from the WEC, the UFC guys,

everyone together down under one roof, holy shit, that's a lot of dudes. But see, to me, that's not a good excuse because there's not enough women. You're saying there's not enough time. There's not enough time. Perfect that there's not enough women because we don't have enough time for a lot of women. So let's just focus on like five, six superstars, and everybody's going to watch Cyborg versus Ronda. That's going to be fucking huge. Yeah, that's the story.

But Ronda's only had four fights, right? And she's already a star. Yeah, but when you're fighting, I mean, it's my opinion that you should, it should be like a natural course of progression. You fight some top contenders. For sure. You get ranked, you get up there.

There should be like a bunch of girls you have top contenders. For sure. You know, you get ranked. You get up there. There should be, like, a bunch of girls you have to go through. You and Four Fights In, and they're already, like, asking her after she won, you know, what does she think about fighting you? To me, that shows, like, a lack of depth in just the women's divisions. And it's not. It's a lack of depth. It is what it is, and I think it's very exciting. And you remember one time we went to that one MMA show in Nevada?

We went to one of the Tough Enough shows, and there was a chick fight that was just out of this world. Eddie and I watched that fight, and afterwards, I go, I'm a fan now. I'm a fan. I used to say I don't want to see chicks fight each other, but after watching that, I was like, God damn. Technique is technique.

If the girls have technique, and there's a lot of girls that do, but the heavyweight division has no depth. There's no depth in that, but still you put on heavyweight fights. When we got a heavyweight fight with Cyborg and you, that's a heavyweight fight. That's going to draw. So you can't deny that. Even if you only had four fights, everyone's talking about it.

They want to see it. What is women's 145 called? I have no idea. Is it just 145? I think women's 145 called I think it's you don't even know what division you fight it it's just the same whatever you want to call it whatever yeah do you cut weight no you don't cut any weight at all you just fight I walk around like five pounds over really yeah so um and you're thinking about going 135 now is that where cyborg is that no no that's where everyone else is at so do you want to fight cyborg yeah no that fight definitely needs to happen but um do you want to get some experience first yeah yeah i do you know like she's gonna want me to fight me as

soon as possible and i'm gonna want to fight me as soon as possible and i'm gonna want to fight her as light as possible and we're just gonna have to find somewhere in the middle right you know because the more time they wait the better i'm gonna get because i don't even have that much experience yet i haven't even fought a full round i've had seven fights right no one year of striking round yeah you know and it's like the more time that goes by i feel myself getting way way better whereas like how can you become like better at being a goon you know if you're just like all just strength and that's it like cyborg she's got good kickboxing technique but like how can you really improve that much

after you've already been like i feel like she wants to fight me as soon as possible and now i want to fight well i'm sure she, and trash talking is always fun. That's so funny. I saw this tweet that she sent out this morning, and she said something like, she's a big mouth, talk too much, and I was like, and I'm like, that's so awesome that the champ wakes up in the morning

and is thinking about me. Yeah. You know what? Everything I'm hearing is good because you're the one that's saying, you're not trash talking. You're saying, I'm trying to wait as long as possible.

So that's not trash talking. That's like the opposite of trash talking. Right. So you're smart and you're saying you understand that it takes years to get really good at striking. Don't get me wrong. Like, I think that if me and her fought today, I think I still would win. But I think that for publicizing the fight is not the best time. win but I think that for publicizing the fight is not the best time and I think that if this is gonna be the most important fight of my career I want to be as good as I possibly can get at that

time and I know that I can get better and there's Misha Tate out there people like her yeah there's other fights like that and like if I could win the 135 title then a fight between me and her later would be like two title holders like it'd be a bigger deal would that fuck with you to drop the weight no no no I'd be fine I'm actually like it'd be a bigger deal Would that fuck with you To drop the weight? No No? No I'd be fine I'm actually like When you competed in judo

What'd you compete at? I competed at 63 kilos Which was 138 And then I competed at 70 kilos 154 There's nothing in between

And you had to make weight Like the morning of You only had like an hour and a half Sometimes Whoa Between weigh-ins And when you fought So like

I just had a hard time making 138 just because you would have to make weight like weekend after weekend after weekend sometimes that's a giant gap too especially for women exactly so like if you see the girls i'm fighting the olympics they're all head taller than me wow like the girls i fought were like do you think that made you more technical yeah definitely they always say the smaller you know jujitsu people are much more technical well i had to get to get, like, way stronger. But, like, yeah, for those girls being way bigger than me, it's just, like, they would put on so much weight. Or, like, just be, like, more.

I got used to being at a strength disadvantage a lot of the time, you know. What do you do for strength training? I just came from there right before I got here. I go to Results, which is on like woodman in Moorpark And I and just like a personal training Leo Finco trains me you see no results What kind of what kind of shit is the what is the are we doing like like tires with sledgehammers you doing kettlebells We drag it depends because like like right after I fight, we do a lot of heavyweight. But then once my fights get closer, we do a lot of

circuit training, more explosive endurance and agility and balance stuff as the fight gets closer. So we're doing heavyweight right now. Your last fight was what, a month ago? What was that last fight? How long ago was that? Three weeks ago, a month ago.

Yeah, it was a month ago. Wow, time flies. Did that girl, what happened there? Did she not tap Yeah, it was a month ago. Wow, time flies. Did that girl, did she not, what happened there? Did she not tap or did referee not get there in time? Apparently. Do we have video of that? Can we see that? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, I saw it.

It just reached 100,000 views a day. I was so proud, yeah. Yeah, look up Ronda Rousey and who are you fighting? Bud. B-U-D-D. For those of you that don't know, Ronda demolished a girl's arm. Yeah, it's pretty nasty. Because the fight before that, they screwed me over.

Because the girl was yelling, like, tap, tap, tap. And then I let go of the arm. And she was like, I didn't tap. I saw that. Yeah, I saw that. And I'm like, that was the coolest flying armbar ever. How could you ruin that for me? You know?

Yeah, and you could have totally broken her shit if you didn't let go. Yeah, if I like, I could just, I don't want to even go there. How long have you been doing jujitsu? I don't do jujitsu. She does judo.

Do you think you have an advantage a little bit? You don't do jujitsu at all? Well, submissions. I do, I do like, I never really went out of my way to go to jujitsu classes. Like, I did like no-gi grappling

and I did judo. So, gi-wise, I haven't really done. Yeah, that's juj haven't really done i mean yeah that's what i'm talking about all right here's the fight look how quick this shit is here comes ronda get the clinch you got the headlock and right now this girl's fucked as soon as you get a hold of these chicks do you feel like especially like a chick who's not a grappler, do you feel like a massive advantage in controlling them? I like how you misdirected there, too. You went to throw her over the top, then you turned it. Full mount right away.

She was really slippery. She was Vaseline-y. You think so? Yeah, I did. She was covered in it. Now, what is the deal? Because girls, like, here's the arm. Check this shit out.

Girl doesn't tap. It's rolled over. She's thinking to tap right now. And I'm like, I had to turn her over so the referee could see it so then I did that so she flips over look at that jack my five did you blame the referee there cuz it looked like that girl could attack tapped she could have tapped right you know fuck that arm up damn she looked pretty yoked to shit yeah so then you when you um grab a hold of chicks do you feel like a massive advantage usually?

I just feel like I understand what's going on more than they do. In the clinch. Yeah. And you're grappling with submissions. Like how long have you been doing that? Like passing the guard and playing guard work, arm bars. How long have you been doing that? Since I was like 11.

Oh, so you've been doing submissions this whole time as you were doing judo as well? Yeah, because my mom, when she did judo, she tore her knees out when she was like 16, 17. She was one of the first judo players to only win on the ground. And what she did all the time, she won like 90% of her matches with arm bars. So she started teaching me arm bars when I was like 11. You only have a small amount of time. She had me just drill in arm bars all the time, all the time. You have a small amount of time to hit them right before they separate you.

Yeah, because a lot of referees hate ground work. And a lot of times, especially if you're an American competing foreign country, they just kind of try and screw you over just for the hell of it, I think. To stand you up? How long do you get on the ground? Sometimes they wouldn't even give me a second. Sometimes they would give me three seconds. So I had to be like, bloom, bloom, bloom, like fast.

So you learned how to hit these arm bars like that. So that was your thing, like, i might not get you with the throw but i'm gonna get you with the arm bar i think that was your shit yeah like well it was like if i can't get you with the arm bar i'm gonna try and throw you that's knowing that you always had to do it in such a small window made you like like really good at like jumping on them quick it's like transition that's like your big strength yeah yeah, we drill that all the time, all the time. Yeah, when you get a chick down, I just, I always say, oh, this chick is fucked. I see some flailing. I see some limbs going.

I go, oh, that chick is fucked. One of those things is getting snap, crackle, popped. How's your flexibility? Can you get into double udders? You want to see it? Let me see. All right. Let's see if I can do the.

Oh, oh. Wow. Okay, do this with your legs. You don't like that. With my legs? Double Otis? The double Otis? No, no, no, my knees.

I don't want to do that one. You can't do that one? Yeah, knee things I don't like to do. Okay, okay. Have you had a bunch of knee injuries? I've had three surgeries, and I've had arthritis since I was 19. Damn. Damn. What surgeries have you had? No no rubber guard for you one ACL and two scopes well that's not true I've had three knee surgeries I still do over guard but she doesn't want to get the double Otis that's not a good sign I've had two ACLs

and one scope you could do it still you're waiting you still still stretch your shove out like so many yeah yeah put your foot on top of your foot? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like this. That's so easy. I wouldn't have put the other one on top. Oh, she could do it, man. Look at that. Of course she could do it. Oh, damn.

You're ready for some rubber guard. Look at you. I can do that. I'm rubber guard ready. You're ready. You're ready. Why have that flexibility and not use it to its maximum? Do you do a lot of guard stuff?

I've heard a lot about your rubber guard, how it requires flexibility. I was like, I think I'd be good at it. I think I'd be good at it. You've got the flexibility. You're ready to go. I'd love to try it, dude. Listen, you're an awesome grappler. You could learn anything.

Anything you want. All you have to do is just put your head to it. You could learn his stuff. Your worst case scenario is going to be someone, like some chick who wrestled their whole life and puts your ass on your back. And you're like on your back in a championship fight. You can't get up. There's a lot of chicks out there

that have been wrestling their whole life too. So you've been doing judo your whole life, but there's a lot of girls out there that have wrestled their whole life. So your worst nightmare, you need to prepare for that now. Not three months when the fight's signed. You know what I mean?

So you're probably going to be on top most of your fights because you're a judo. Probably. But, you know, at the end, you know, sometime in your career you're going to face a chick who is awesome at wrestling and she's taking your ass down. You've got to be ready for that one too. Plus it's always good to

have a little extra trick in your fucking toolbox, you know. The really dangerous fighters are the ones who like, one of my favorite fighters is Donald Cerrone. And one of the reasons why Donald Cerrone can throw wild-ass kicks at people is because Donald Cerrone is wicked off of his back. You take that dude down and he's attacking. He's attacking right away from his back.

Like, that is, like, one of the best combinations. And when you learn how to, like, when there's no weak spot, you don't have a weak spot you know when a guy gets on your back oh you're still in fucksville because you're still engaging with me you know when you get to that position when you don't have one one hole then there's nothing to be exploited there have been so many judo players awesome judo players in japan they come over to the states they fuck with dudes have been no-gi takedowns while you've been doing gi takedowns your whole life. Judo guys, and a lot of jiu-jitsu guys as well,

mundial champions. Once they hit that elite wrestler that's going to put them on their back, they just don't have the answers. They end up getting cut from the UFC. A lot of them don't even make it. So many people get signed to the UFC and getting cut from the UFC. A lot of them don't even make it to, you know, so many people get signed to the UFC and they fight for the UFC,

but they're fighting in the prelims. There's like eight prelims. And to get to the main card, you've got to be a bad motherfucker in the prelims. So many people get signed to the UFC. They fight in the prelims and they never make it to the main show because they lose a couple fights and they get cut. And no one even knows. There's so many. And working for the UFC for so long, you see these people coming through all the time. And the brick wall is the elite wrestler who puts your ass on your back.

Do you have an answer for that? No, that's everyone's problem. Everyone's problem. There's got to be a smaller issue in girls fighting. A lot of those judo players that moved over, you know how you're talking about point fighting and like, oh, I was the best at getting you with that. A lot of people that were point fighters,

they can't do anything in MMA. And a lot of them, especially that Japanese style of judo, really requires a gi, like a lot. And so I think any Asian style judo player wouldn't do very good in judo. I got to mention. I got to mention before I forget, just because I mentioned Donald Cerrone does not in any way mean that I'm rooting for Donald Cerrone when he fights Nate Diaz next week. And if Nate, if you listen, I hope you don't get upset.

I love you, too. I like watching you fight, too. I'm just saying. Nate Diaz doesn't fuck around, man. Well, Nate Diaz is the same thing. He's not rooting for a dude he's fighting. Well, you know, you know, Nate Diaz doesn't fuck around, man. Well, Nate Diaz is the same thing. He doesn't want anybody rooting for a dude he's fighting. Well, you know, Nate Diaz, perfect example. He throws down, man.

Awesome striking. He throws down. And if Nate Diaz is on his back, he don't give a fuck. He's going to attack you. Perfect example. You know what I mean? He's going to attack you. You've got to be vicious off your back.

In that Gomi fight, he knew an arm bar was there. Just snatched it. I mean, he's beating the shit out of Gomi. He could have kept it standing. Total confidence to get to the ground. And as soon as he got him onto his back, boom, arm bar, snap. And most fighters want to get on top of a fighter. They want to get the takedown.

They want to get on top. But guys like Shinya Yoki, no one's trying to get on top of him. The way you beat Shinya Yoki is don't get on top of him the way you beat Shinya Yoyoki is don't get on top of him how crazy is that how much because you're so awesome off his back it's like you don't want to get on top of him isn't that insane that yeah you want that to you want people to say that about

you like whatever you do don't let him get on his back how much of a difference you think tights are how much of a difference you think his tights are there's a big difference man because you know when people when you go out there How much of a difference do you think tights are? That's incredible shit. How much of a difference do you think his tights are? There's a big difference, man. Because, you know, when people, when you go out there.

For folks who don't know, he wears his crazy tights when he fights in Japan. Not anymore, though. He gets a lot of submissions. He stopped. He stopped. Does he feel like that they were a crutch? He felt like that his ultimate goal is to do well in the UFC. And the UFC don't allow tights. He better get used to no tights.

Which, that was his reasoning. What an amazing fucking guard he had. Exactly. I mean, that's what you want. Anybody can have Shinya Aoki's guard. It's not like he was born with this chromosome or anything like that. He just really wanted it bad.

He wanted to be dangerous everywhere he does he just he's not about like just his guard he's amazing at leg locks he takes your back you're fucked he beats shaolin standing if he mounts you you're fucked he takes your back you're fucked he's on his back you're fucked he leg locks you're fucked he's so good at everything there's no no holes. He filled all the holes. Most people, most fighters, they do have a hole. Their weakness is they're not that dangerous off their back. If you get on top of them, you don't have to worry that much. He might throw up an armbar, but you don't have to worry that much. With Shinya Yoki, shit.

If you're coaching a guy who's fighting Shinya Yoki and your boy's in his guard, you will be freaking out. Like, get up, stand up, run. Anybody can have that. Anybody. But you got to really want it. You know, you got to really train it. You got to take the time to practice it.

That's how you get good at anything. And most, you know, being an MMA fighter these days, there's not much time to practice. You got to do so much shit. You got to work on your striking, your wrestling, your, you know, fucking jumping jacks and doing your fucking Mike Dolce diet. You got to sleep. Dolce diet.

You got to do all this. There's so much shit. The last girl I fought was Dolce dieted out. It's so hard to evolve. What does that even mean? Dolce dieted out? Because it's all over at the weigh-in. She's like, Dolce diet.

Like, all over. So I was like. Yeah. That's a pretty good diet. I wonder if it's better than the Gracie diet. I don't know. He's a smart guy. He knows a lot about nutrition, though.

Had a nice conversation with him about it last time I was in Vegas. I mean, he's working with a lot of guys, man. He's got Tiago Alves making weight pretty easy now. But he used to really struggle before, you know. Although, I don't know if he made it in his last attempt. I feel like there was a little bit of an issue. I think he had to come back and make it or something. I don't remember.

But he's a big boy for 170. Tiago's pretty fucking thick. If you had to fight Cyborg in three months to sign and you had three months to train, it's not happening, so this is all hypothetical. I like the hypothetical game. Yeah, you're going to fight her in two months. Two months.

And you know in your mind right now what you can to fight her in two months. Two months. And you know in your mind right now what you can get possibly done in two months to prepare for her. What would your strategy be at the fight? I don't know how much I would want to say. I don't know how different it would be. But it's not fighting though. It's a make-believe fight.

It's a fake fight. They could eventually fight and she would be using the same strategy probably. Or something very similar. Just make some crazy shit up. Can I guess your strategy? I would be Superman punches only. That's all I want.

Well, you know what? It's pretty obvious to anybody that follows the game. It's obvious that, of course, you're going to want to use your judo. Why would you stand there and strike with her? You can just take her down, get on top, and dominate the top position. Obviously, it would be a game of Anderson Silva, Chael Sonnen. Will you be able to get the fight to the ground where you could dominate?

Here's my question. Is there ever going to be a fight ever, not with you, but with any two chicks who are in the middle of beating the fuck out of each other they just start making out? Is that possible? I think so. I wonder if I'd get in trouble for slapping a girl. Like I gave a girl a good slap on the chest.

If you fought Gina Carano, you'd probably make out with her. Come on. That should be your finishing move. When they're on the ground like passed out, you just start licking her. Could you imagine if there was a fight where these girls just really went at it for the first round, beat the fuck out of each other, came out

in the second round, double high-fived, and then just started making out. No, how about in the after? No, no. More realistic would be after the fight, post-fight interview, they're all bleeding, they're all hugging each other, and then they just start making out post-fight. You're with the mic, Joe's all, you're incredibly freaked out now.

You know what would happen? The next day, UFC would have women in the mic. Joe's all, you're incredibly freaked out now. You know what would happen? The next day, UFC would have women in the mix. She wants to judo. She wants to cause a katami us right now. No, no, no. You want to come with katami us. There's a couple in these two judo girls that fought each other in the finals in the Olympics.

They ended up going and getting married like years later. Really? Oh, that's hilarious. Is that a common thing to have a lot of women who like women? Is it like softball? Or golf? It's common. More common than you see in the regular world?

Fight chicks? Even in Japan? What would you say the ratio is? Being a lesbian does not have the social stigma of being a gay man. If you're a gay man, there's a little something there. Like every rapper that's in a video that disses another rapper, it goes gay immediately. Remember, right? When Dr. Dre and Ice Cube were mad at each other.

Remember? Immediately goes gay. They would go gay. They would immediately go gay. About sucking dicks. My man's about sucking dicks. But with a girl, you can't like diss a girl by saying that she's out, you know,

making out with girls. A chick can't call another chick a pussy licker. It's like calling a white guy a honky. You pussy licker. You know what I mean? You honky.

You know, calling a white guy a honky never worked. And, you know, making fun of a girl who likes girls only, that doesn't work either. You know,

it's like. It never worked out. It was like, honky was like Jerry Cooney. Never worked out. Jerry Cooney worked out on a lot of people, man. He worked out on Ken Norton. You ever watch that fight?

Jerry Cooney should have never fought Larry Holmes. He just wasn't technically skilled enough to be in there with a guy like Larry Holmes, who was a masterful boxer. Jerry Cooney was a very good boxer, but he just wasn't. He tried. He gave it his best, but he just wasn't physically at the level of Larry Holmes. Larry Holmes in his prime was a masterful boxer you know he's a big-ass dude if Larry Holmes had like the kind of strength conditioning nutrition and was around today you know Larry Larry

Holmes is a wicked boxer. It's just like the evolution of sport you just see the athletes getting better and better and better because stuff like that comes along. The saddest fight ever was Larry Holmes versus Muhammad Ali do you remember that? I just, no, which one did I, no, I just watched the George Foreman one the other day. Larry Holmes versus Muhammad Ali was sad. Larry Holmes versus Tyson was sad, too. It's essentially the same story. Yeah.

You know, when Tyson was up and coming, he didn't want to admit it. He didn't want to believe that this guy, this young up-and-coming guy was the best and he was going to make a comeback and fight this guy. He was only 36 years old, which is kind of crazy when you think of, like, ages today, like Bernard Hopkins. Bernard Hopkins, I think, is, like, 47 or 48. Yeah. You know, and he's the light heavyweight championship,

light heavyweight champion of the world. He just didn't, I just went to one of his fights. He, like, fell down in the first round, and then, like, he fell wrong and hurt his shoulder, and then it was, like, over. Yeah, a guy threw him down. Yeah, and then they they counted it as like I think he's not the champ anymore I don't know if that's true. I think it was a I think that fight doesn't I think it doesn't count I hope it doesn't count cuz I was yes. Hey look at the TV. Have you seen this? Yeah, a lot of people think he's acting Who was that Ronda Rousey? I guess. His boss. Show us how to perform an arm bar.

He told me to interrupt him in the middle of the sentence, by the way. I didn't just jump him. Okay. I was going to want to lean it in, but what is the trick, Ronda? Why did you do? Well, one major thing with arm bars is you've got to make sure you're squeezing your knees because you don't want the person to be able to turn in and get their elbow out. And, of course, when you're leaning back, you don't want to have the arm away from you and then

pull it you want to use your back muscles so you kind of hug it and then you sit back to break it she's giggling sit back to break it do you like any girl things like do you like sex in the city do you have or are you just all you do i do like that show would you like that old slut the old slut who's your favorite character um samantha she's fun she's funny she was the funny one she gave hope to a lot of women that thought that like being a whore was gonna come back in yeah kind of a comeback in style you could you know you could be a classy old brassy 50 year oldyear-old whore, but no,

it's still sad. You're saying like character as like an interesting character. I thought she was the most interesting one. Oh, yeah, for sure. If you take it back to... That's not going on.

A lot of fun. Actually, over time, if you go back to like the Roman times, it's been... It's really popular to be a whore. If you look at it,

because back in Roman times, only whores wore high heels. That's how... They were recognizable. If you had high heels, you were a Roman times, only whores wore high heels. That's how they were recognizable. If you had high heels, you were a whore. Damn. Crazy, right? And now everyone wears high heels, right?

Really? Where'd you read this? That was on OhMyGodFacts at Twitter, at OhMyGodFacts. I'm following right now. OMG Facts. I'm following that too. That's some real shit. Then it takes you to a link, and you go to a link, and you read all about it, how prostitution

was legal. I'm doing this right now. And I'm like dude, hookers were geniuses, right? How cool is that? They figured that shit out? They're like, this is easy. You just gotta stick the ass out and you gotta wear these weird wooden contraptions that hold your ass out. It's like a weird, it was like

fucking polio back then. Yeah, it totally makes you walk like with your ass behind your head, right? Is that what it is? I bet they invented lipstick. I bet they invented bras. You stand more straight, though. You can't slouch. It makes you have good posture.

And a good posture makes you look thinner. It's so miraculous. If you think about that, that kind of logic, I'm almost positive that hookers invented lipstick, bras, extensions, all that shit, right? Advertising, man. Come on. They're geniuses. Well, wasn't that in ancient Egypt? They have a business. They're advertising their business. bras extensions all that shit advertising come on they're geniuses

well wasn't that they have a business they're advertising their business they're like cut right to the chase fuck Steve Jobs or whatever the fuck his name was they cut right to the shit

hike the ass up bring the tits up red fucking lips you got some cash well you know what changed boom boom just like that

let's get right to the fucking caveman instincts what changed the game was tman instincts What changed the game Was titty implants That changed the game You could totally Trick people into Having a reaction

That they know Is based on something That's not real Like you Dudes know that The tits are fake And it's okay They don't care

They don't care at all Some guys You'll have some guys That are like There's like 20% of dudes Like dude I like fake tits Like Like

They're only saying that Because they're married To a chick I don't like fake tits. They're only saying that because they're married to a chick who doesn't have fake tits, and they want it to get back to them. No, no, no. I think some dudes legitimately are not into it. Most dudes don't care. But ass implants, dudes fucking care. If I found out your girl had fake tits, I would be like, awesome.

But if I found out your chick had a fake ass, dude, your bros are going to be making fun of you behind your back every day. That's why you should never hang around with bros. Right. Hang out with bros all day long. You're going out with a chick and she's got a fake ass? I have a friend who found out that a girl he was dating had a fake ass. Because he asked her as a joke. He said she had like a little scar. And he goes, what, did you get a fucking ass implant?

You know, and she goes, actually, I did. Whoa. And he was like, what? And he's like, you can never tell. Her ass looked great. It really stuck out. She was probably fucking with him the whole time. That's a deal breaker to most guys.

It is real. It's a real thing they do now. They really are doing ass implants. I don't know what it's made out of, though. The crazy thing is with tits. They got to be durable because it's not like you're bumping your boobs on things all day long, but you're constantly sitting on your ass. It's got to be made with some NASA-like material and shit.

But with chicks, you can tell sometimes, depending on what they're wearing, oh, those are fake tits. Chicks are really experts. Oh my god, they're fake. With an ass, you really can't fucking tell. Yeah, you can if there's before and after pictures. No, no, but what I'm saying, a chick walking down the street, you're going to say, oh, fake ass. You can say fake tits, but can you say fake ass? It's a mystery. No, you can't tell.

How many fake ones are there? It's not that common, right? I don't know. We don't know. Nobody knows how common it is. We know exactly how common fake tits are. We're like, we see them three a day. Three? Yeah, we see them all day. You see three of them?

You see three natural ones a day. On a slow day. Oh, three pairs. Total recall. Yeah, three pairs. Impressive. I don't think fake ass is ever going to be in. I think guys will not accept that overall.

Well, it's like fake lips aren't in. Fake anything. The fake lips, man, never worked. It's like everyone thought it was going to work, but they thought, well, you could get ridiculous and out of proportion with your tits. Let's get ridiculous and out of proportion with the lips. You're just going to be a trendsetter.

You're going to be the first person. But there's something about doing that. There's something about fucking with your lips. Like people don't want to kiss those. It's just your face. Just like, yeah, especially your face.

If you have a jacked, if you have a jacked corporal clinger nose, listen, I ain't hating on you. Go ahead, get that shit fixed. Go get that shit fixed, old girl. You got a shitty

roll of the dice for your genetics. Whoever you marry is going to be pissed when your kid's got like freaky noses. Yeah. You know, they got to

come out with lips If they just perfect it If they had it so it doesn't You don't look like this Tired of looking like a duck You know what I mean They gotta fix the duck look Your lips can't look any thicker than the rest of the skin on your face

It doesn't make any sense The only way you'd really have thick lips Is if you had thick skin Like an African person You see someone who has those kind of features It only way you really have thick lips is if you had thick skin like an African person You know you see someone who has those kind of features. That's natural that they have thick lips. Let's you have thick skin It's like it's that's what they that's how they are that's natural when all of a sudden only one part is thick they thought that Because they could pull that off with tits you know like well Let's pull it off with lips, but it just with lips it looks weird as fuck you have you can't just make your whole face

Fucking thick could you make all your skin thicker? With lips, it looks weird as fuck. You can't just make your whole face fucking thick. Could you make all your skin thicker? Imagine if you took something. Well, that's eventually probably going to happen. You're going to be able to take something that changes your genetic makeup. It'll probably be only a one-time thing. You can only do it once. Why only once?

It's like how many computers you can plug your iPhone in and you can only get so many genome experiments. Yeah, my thoughts is it's just such a radical distortion of your actual original frame. If you're like some little dark-as-cold black dude and you want to be a white girl, and they just give you a shot and it just fucking completely rearranges every cell in your body.

It's like, you're going to be white, but you are going to be a girl, though. Is that cool? We haven't mastered dudes yet. Would they do it? You think dudes would do it? They're just going to jump into their little hamster reel and their little virtual reality world.

And then they're just going to spend all their time there where they're a white little girl. Those are future dark secrets that come out. Instead of plastic surgery, they're just gonna submerge themselves. It's like, what are you pretending to be in your little virtual, like everyone's gonna have their,

like dudes are gonna pretend they're little girls. Residual selves. Well, they're really close to that with all these games that people play, like Second World, is that what it's called, Brian? Second Life.

Second Life. I always play girls in video games just because you're following around the person the whole time rather look at a girl's butt than a guy's butt. That's a good excuse. When I used to play Quake, I used to play with a

girl's body or this other really skinny dude because you always want to play with the smallest character possible because if someone's stupid and they don't have a turned character off, what you can do is like in Quake, you could play as a big giant character and make everybody play as you.

But for people who are stupid and don't do that, then you just show up as a chick and you're really hard to hit because you're like real skinny. What do you think the percentage of dudes that could whack off to anime? A lot. Over 50? A lot in Japan. Over 50? Yeah. In Japan, it's probably like 80%.

They sell like cartoon pornos at 7-Eleven in Japan. Dudes are easy. Like really? You just got to give us a thought. It's not that big in the States, though. Dudes want to see real chicks. I'm sure there's a lot in the States. I'm sure I've done it before. Back in the day

before you porn, I'm sure I probably looked at some pinnacle shit. I do actually own a couple anime. I don't remember. The last time I saw it was like 10 years ago. I don't remember if I actually jacked it. No, you didn't. No, I don't remember. But I remember watching it Was like 10 years ago And I don't remember If I actually jacked it Yeah you know you did No no I don't remember

But I remember watching it Going these motherfuckers Are sick It's always some chick Detective In a skirt Going after Some gangster

Some gangsters You know what I mean And it's some chick And the gangster Always rapes her And fucks the shit out of her And then she's Always trying to get him

And he escapes They capture him And then he talks her into having sex. Yeah, you notice they never enjoy it. They never enjoy it in anime. The girls never enjoy having sex. They're always screaming and crying. Yeah, there was one I watched where the guy was banging her from behind

with a gun to her head. In the cartoon. Yeah, and she's crying like tears. That's legal? And he's just banging her from behind with a gun to her head. It's like, wow. Yeah. They are obsessed.

They are crazy. You know, that's the kind of like place where like you'd be walking around Japan and like I was there with Henry and, you know, like we're not like overly like publicly affectionate, but like, you know, we're a normal couple and people were looking at us like we were crazy. Like they will look at you like you're crazy for just hugging you or whatever in public. They have no affection in public. And then they'll just go home and masturbate to cartoon porn.

They'll think that's inappropriate and then go home and be like, all right. It's a national pastime to lust over schoolgirls. And I'm not trying to be general and offend all of Japan or anything. I'm sorry. I love Japanese people. But I'm just saying that like- You just think sexually they're a little tweaked. A lot of them are. I'm sorry. I love Japanese people. But I'm just saying that like... Those things are actually the little tweet.

A lot of them are. I think that cartoons... That's odd. If that's like, you know, it's like someone's thing, like it's like every once in a while, but if it's like a huge part of your population

is like into watching cartoons rather than real people... Yeah, they did something wrong. You know? Something's wrong. Something's wrong with that. Like in the 20s. Something in the 20s.

All the speed or something. Well, whatever it has to do with being defeated as a culture, like losing their military and losing the war, that's like a really humiliating defeat. And that's also sort of the same thing that happened with the Germans. Germans started coming out with shit porn, and that was all after World War II. There you go.

There's a connection there. Yeah, I think there's something about being humiliated, something about being, you know, in the eyes of the world, just crushed. And then I guess they experiment with crushing themselves even further, like getting shit on. And, you know, they just take it to the deepest, darkest depths of, you know, self-depravity. Yeah, that's got to be it.

That's got to be it. I mean, I'm obviously pulling this out of the air. Isn't that it? No, no, that's, dude, Japan and Germany, they love shit porn. Dude, come on. That's gonna be someone's quote on a message board from now on. At the bottom, their signature. Japan and Germany, they love shit porn.

There's something... You know what? I wanna be friends with that dude. I bet there's a lot done in this country too, man. And you know what? And there's... The Brazilians love fart porn. And I think it's because nobody parties harder than the fucking Brazilians.

Every year they take a month off. They close all fucking businesses. Like you got to get toilet paper for two months and shit. And they party for a month. They're just doing carnal for a month. They're on the streets just fucking partying. I think that has something to do with their obsession for fart porn. Wow.

They're just so happy. They're just so happy. And they're like, not even a fart during sex will piss them off. Usually a fart will fucking freak you out. You're like, what the fuck? Where are you getting this data from, by the way? This is my hypothesis, bro. That's all.

Don't take me seriously. This is just my scientific guess. You know what? This is a disturbing subject bro. That's all. Don't take me seriously. This is just my scientific guess. You know what? This is a disturbing subject. I'll stop. Yeah, can we get out of this one? I was about to. Can we regress?

I was about to elaborate. Can we regress again? Come on, fart porn is hilarious. That is way cooler. We've offended four cultures already. That's already. That's way cooler. I'm saying.

Well, Eddie thought Chinese were Japanese. So you know what? My brothers, their dad's my godfather. They convinced me. It's way cooler. I'm saying... Well, Eddie thought Chinese were Japanese. So you know what? Like, these... My, like, my brothers, their dad's my godfather, they convinced me for the longest time that Asian women had sideways vaginas. Oh, my gosh. Because they said just, yeah, everything on them is more, like, horizontal. That makes sense.

Like, their eyes are more horizontal, their mouths are horizontal, and their vaginas are horizontal. And it wasn't until I went to, like, a weigh-in for, like, an international, like, geotournament, and I was like, oh, they had normal vaginas. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. Yeah, they had me convinced. Did they they had me catch you looking no no but a lot of those girls how old were you when this was going on uh i was like like 13 or 14 when you were 13 or 14 that's when you i don't know i never saw like i never saw how many people naked now it's getting it's

getting darker there was no it was their internet back then? Yeah, but it was like... You would think you want to Google that. It was like I was making fractals on the computer. It was like the big giant beige computer. Was that what it was? Netscape search?

Is that what you used to use? It was a long time ago when Explorer was big. Nobody uses Explorer anymore, do they? Yeah. They do? The majority does. The number one browser in the world.

I thought Safari was. I thought it was on the shit. No, it's not. Am I the only one that explores? You're just such a Mac person that you lost all perspective of the actual population. With the actual Windows world, it's Internet Explorer 8 now, right? Isn't it? I don't even know if they still make it, but it's still the number one browser.

They're going to come out with Windows 8. That's how stupid I am. They're on Windows 7 now, about to come out with Windows 8. Is Opera still around? Windows gets more users than ever. Yeah, Opera's still there. Unix is still there. I've never used Windows, really.

But Windows has gotten more people using it than Macs by a big number. Macs are only, I think, 5%. No, it's better now. What is it? I think it's like, last I looked, it was like 12%. Because they're counting businesses.

Is that high? Because they're counting businesses. They count like, personal motherfuckers. I think Mac is 50%. Yeah, like every screen of every restaurant where they're running like,

Aloha on it, and they're doing that, that's like a Windows. Every single business computer accounts, of course, it's going to distort it, but we're talking about

like personal computers. Well, even personal computers. It's way cheaper to buy a Windows computer. Look, I like using Apple. It's real simple. I've used it since OS X 10 or OS X, rather. But when you look at the prices, you can get a Windows laptop for like $700.

$1.50. Yeah. With a fucking 15-inch screen, it plays DVDs. It's got a processor that runs really fast. For what you're going to use it for what are you going to use it for? what are you going to get online at the airport? it's like you can get a $700 Windows laptop

that's pretty fucking badass you can get a $500 Windows laptop that's pretty fucking badass you can't really get that in an Apple laptop so if you're like someone who's on a budget I totally get it, it makes sense to me but if cost wasn't an option you would go well these apples are just way better made it's like this solid aluminum frame motherfucker never like thousands of

shades of beige before I like pick the one for like Apple like the actual laptop yeah I mean it's a genius I would think would think there'd be tens. Tens of shades. Thirty shades. It's funny because when I talk about it on the... Not even a hundred. When we talk about it on the podcast, I will get no less than ten tweets calling me a Mac fag. You know, I didn't know you were a Mac fag.

Fucking Windows rules. There's like a cult of Windows out there. You know, Todd McCormick, he switched to Mac. He's all about Mac now. Remember he would argue About windows He would open up his windows On his big screen and go

You can't do this with Mac, look at the albums I got my albums and my favorite songs You can't do that with a Mac I went up and visited him like six months ago Dude, he's like showing me the iPads Bro, you could point this at the stars. And I'm looking at the constellations. I know what name of each planet I'm looking at.

And he's like so into Mac. He's totally converted. That is an amazing application. Have you seen that application for an iPod? It's the one, yeah. What is it called? Star Maps? You use it three times.

It's not like convenient in the city. It looks awesome. It looks awesome. But then you use it three times and then you never use it again. Dude, when I was living in Colorado. Can you like do it through walls? Can you like sit it again. Dude, when I was living in Colorado. Can you do it through walls? Can you sit in your room and just look around? That's cool.

When I was living in Colorado, I had a clear view because I was deep up into the woods. I had a clear view of the night sky. Not like Hawaii. The craziest I've ever seen was I went to the Keck Observatory up in the top of the Big Island. It's pretty fucking badass you actually drive through the clouds like as we were driving i was like you know what i think we fucked up and came a cloudy night and we're not gonna be able to see shit but you actually drive through those clouds and you get to the top and i think it's at 9 000 feet above sea level something like that

but the view is insane it's it's really like life-changing like you there's no light pollution whatsoever they use special lights all over the big island because they have the observatory there you know and um when you're up that high there's nothing just you and the stars and you see the whole milky way you see the the galaxy you see it all together in a way that you never see it like this. Like you see little clouds, like the galaxy, like the Milky Way. It looks like a big cloud. And it's like you see every fucking star in the sky. And it really pisses you off because you go, is this up there every night?

And I can't see it because we have cities? Yeah. That fucking blows because it's like the most humbling and amazing thing ever. And it's probably part of the reason why we're so fucked up as a race is that we can't see those fucking stars like that shit should be humbling to you every night if you had to choose stars or cities oh stars every fucking time really fuck a city city ain't shit dude i don't get you get bored with cities man you never get bored with the stars the city's like a tanga. You're being in the middle.

City is just some fucking wart that a human created and stuck on this one piece of this incredibly beautiful landscape of the universe. When you're sitting out there watching the Milky Way, like, I'll never forget that Keck Observatory, man. I want to go back to the Big Island just for that, just to get back up there and look at that again. Because it was like looking at the universe personally, not like seeing those images that we always see in these great coffee books where they have these beautiful pictures, but to actually see that in your eyes. It just jolts your whole body. You're like, is this out there all the time? This is out there all the time. And somehow or another, through our marriage with technology,

we've blinded ourselves to the most spectacular thing you can ever see. Like literally the most spectacular thing I've seen in my life. Besides the birth of my own children was probably that moment on the big island looking up the stars. What if the city said,

what if the city said, a if the city's a tumbler? An hour every night we had star time. Everybody shuts off. Everyone shuts their shit off for an hour and we get to see how cool that would be. Oh my God. Star time. That would be amazing. Star time.

It would be amazing. If we all could agree to do that. I brought that up like 20 podcasts ago. Really? Yeah. Did you? Yeah, we all talked about this. I love how you want to take credit for that.

Congratulations. That wasn't me. I bet you did want to take credit for that. Congratulations. No, that wasn't me. I bet you did. But it's still a great idea. How about the Dodgers? How about them Dodgers? It's something you should look into, Brian. You should start an organization.

Try to get people to do it, if it's your idea. What do you mean? You know what? That's one of those ideas that I'm sure somebody else that came up with to yeah the people will understand light pollution what a fucking trip that would be though if we could actually get people to do that there's no light pollution whatsoever you get to see fucking amazing I've never driven across the ticket if you leave your light on yeah you should. 55 bucks.

Helicopter flies overhead. Fucking checks everybody out. I've never driven across country. I did when I was a little kid, but I don't remember it. But I know I've talked to people that have driven across country. And there's spots along the way where people just get out of their car and just shut the door and just lay on the fucking hood and check out the stars. The way to Barstow is it anywhere in Central California anyway anytime you get out of the city like you're going towards how do you make Vegas you just pull over it's right there I think it's an altitude thing as well I think it

also helps to be up high that was one of the things about her with you the Keck Observatory one of the reasons why it was so crazy was because it was 9,000 feet above sea level. That's really high. When I was living in Colorado, I was at 8,500 feet, and that was fucking high. It was 3,000 feet above Boulder, and Boulder's high. That's a big advantage. Have you ever thought about living somewhere where you can be in altitude all day? It would just suck.

I think I would be like— Denver's the shit. What do you like, cities? I just like LA. I just like being home. You know, I got sent away from home at 16. I'm tired of being away from home. I hear you.

It's like such a luxury to be here. If you could make a home in Colorado there, what a fucking advantage it is to be at altitude. Like one of the things those Jackson's boys have as well, they're at about 5,000 feet. Yeah, but you got to live in New Mexico. It's perfect because you have no distractions. There's zero distractions.

Is Albuquerque not fun? It's all about no distractions. Well, what do you need where you live? I need restaurants and movie theaters. That's it. I don't really need much else. The movies suck. Everything else I get from the internet.

God, damn it. It's like too far away. Did you see The Sitter, Brian? What? Did you see The Sitter? No. Okay. How about movies? God, man, that was one of the, Brian? What? Did you see The Sitter? No. Okay. How bad was it?

Movies. God. Man, that was one of the worst movies I've seen in a long time. Really? Yes. Did you see Tower Heist? I walked out of Tower Heist. You walked out of Tower Heist.

I walked out of that motherfucker. Jesus. You didn't like that? You didn't think Eddie Murphy was hilarious? No. I only like Eddie Murphy when he does Nutty Professor. That was the best shit ever. Oh, what are you talking?

When he does his parents and shit. When he's himself and he's trying to be like a thug. I don't buy it. I thought he was great. You know what? When the big fat chick goes, are you married? And he goes, no, what's up? That was a good line.

Yeah, that was a good line. But I did walk out of it, so I can't say I liked it. I want to say I liked it. When did you walk out? When they were dangling off the side of the building with the golden car. I was like, ugh. But you know what pissed me off, man? They were talking about, this car's got to weigh 2,000 pounds. You know how much a fucking gold car would weigh, asshole?

How'd that even get in the script? You lazy bitches. Only 2,000 pounds. That fucking car would be about 50,000 pounds. Jesus Christ, if everything was made out of gold, how much would that weigh? How much is gold? It's heavy as fuck. would be about 50,000 pounds. Jesus Christ, if everything was made out of gold, how much would that weigh? How much is gold? It's heavy as fuck.

And a sports car, like a really light sports car, like the old Porsches were like around 2,000 pounds, those old really tiny ones. And it was made out of gold? Jesus Christ, it'd be a lot heavier than that. You know what?

Ben Stiller's made so many great fucking movies that I will allow him to make a Tower Heist every now and then and still be a fan. I'm still a fan. I enjoy Tower Heist. Okay. I had a good time in that movie.

I thought that movie was fun. Go watch Sinner then. You'll probably like that too. Maybe I would. Shit, what are you trying to say, man? Thought we were friends. I haven't seen a movie I liked. Let's see.

When was the last time I saw a movie I liked? I stopped going to movies because the last couple in a row. I'm a huge fan of the Apple TV. Apple TV is the shit, man. I love to just pick out a movie and you just press play. And it's high definition. It doesn't take any time to load up. Just boom.

I do like the act of going to the movie. I do like the drive. And then we're going to hang out. Maybe go to Arclight. Maybe have a little drinky poo. Get a little tipsy poo. And then get some caramel popcorn. And then the trailers, the previews.

Fuck, what's coming? The big shit. They're showing you the best shit of movies that probably suck but you're only getting the best shit so to you it's a good movie. You're like, fuck, I can't wait to see this. You know, sometimes.

And then you're still excited about the movie. You're like, you forgot what the't wait to see the, you know, sometime. And then you're still excited about the movie. You're like, you forgot what the hell you came to see. That's true. Oh, shit. Movies are great if you have a good crowd, but you can get a shit crowd and that movie sucks. People talking. Yeah, Arclight, you know, it's too expensive for there to be any kids and shit. Yeah, that's important, man.

Kids make a lot of noise. Kids, babies, people arguing. Like 15-year-olds. Those are the worst ones. I wish you were with us when we went to see Planet of the Apes. Let's not talk about movie theater arguments right now. Oh, that's right. We circled back into that.

Yeah, we circled back to her brawl. I saw Planet of the Apes in an almost entirely black neighborhood in Philadelphia. That was a good movie. It was fucking awesome. It was awesome. They talked to the screen, man. It was like half the show. Half the show was in the crowd.

But it wasn't negative. Everybody was positive. It was like half the show. Half the show was in the crowd. But it wasn't negative. Everybody was positive. It was fun. Oh, he running shit now. And everybody would go off. People were dying laughing. But you know what it made me really uncomfortable? Don't go in there.

There was an ad for The Sitter. And while I was at this all-black neighborhood watching this, when they're doing the previews, you start realizing how few movies are geared towards fucking black people it's like man to be in an all-black theater and just watch one white movie after a next after next and let in go man how annoying must that be for them yeah they should only show tyler perry right he makes like three movies a year just keep showing that shit and they all have his name in front of it tyler perry's what do you think that's about he's a bad he's running that's what it is he wants everybody to know he wants everybody to know all his movies start with tyler parents yeah everything his tv

show is tyler perry's i did go see one i got suckered into the same one that you did yeah madea my dad goes to jail you didn't goes to jail. I went and I walked out. Oh, my God. I walked out. Why would you walk out? You should just get really high before you went. You know what's crazy? How high were you before you went?

There was two storylines. There was the Maeda story where she's like, you know, this super, super ghetto grandma, right? But then the other story had nothing to do with her. So it was only like they used her to get you to watch this bad drama. It wasn't even a comedy. Her parts were comedy, but bad comedy. But then there was a whole drama where it's like this lawyer, black guy married to this, like, you know, this this this light skinned black chick. And they got a lot of money and he's a lawyer. And then this girl that he used to bang when he was in high school is now a hooker.

And she's coming to him for help to get out of this mess that she's in. And he's got to help her. And his wife's like, you help her. And I'm leaving. So now he's trying to help his love from high school or something like that who's a hooker. And then his wife's going to leave. You're going to. But, you know, it was so bad.

That sounds awesome. It was so bad. Is it bad enough to be good? It was like watching like a soap opera, like a real bad soap opera. But is it bad enough to watch and mock it?

Ooh. You know what, 15 minute chunks here and there? That might be cool. Like a mix. You take a mix of like the five worst movies and then you make 10 minute blocks and you bounce back and forth but if you have to sit through the whole thing

so what is he that guy doing he's just making like real mediocre stuff and just turning it out some his story is like he's a homeless dude who started writing plays or something and then he blew up and then the whole black community got behind him. And now he's doing, like, sitcoms and shit. Yeah, and a lot of movies. I've never seen one that I like, though. But he's got some crazy deal where he owns his own production studio and he pays the people a salary, so they're under contract,

like the old movie theaters used to do. Like, MGM used to put actors under contract, so when they had, like, big movies coming up, you know, Humphrey Bogart being an MGM film. They used to do that with actors. Apparently, he does that too and doesn't really pay them much. I don't know.

That's just what I've read on the internets. He's like a pimp in the acting game. Yeah, well, the whole movie-making game. He's just running shit. Just running shit. He might be like a super thug or something. Tyler Perry sucked my dick He's got an island somewhere

He's got his own island Does he call Tyler Perry's island? Tyler Perry's meet my island Yeah you pull up You are entering the fucking legal zone Of Tyler Perry's meet my arm My island I do like the idea of a super tough

grandma. That's what he does. Hasn't Martin Lawrence been doing that for a million years? I love Big Mama's house. Isn't that the same? Eddie Murphy and everybody. Everybody did it. Who was it that said that it was Dave Chappelle.

He was talking about something happens to black men and at some point in time they make them dress like a woman. That Hollywood makes every tough-looking black... And you go back, not Denzel Washington, but Wesley Snipes, Eddie Murphy, there's been Martin Lawrence, and there's a whole bunch of... What about Morgan? It's like Hollywood subliminally trying to...

Oh, Jamie Foxx. Jamie Foxx. That's what you're saying. What about Tracy Morgan? He probably did that, too. I don't know. I love her. whole bunch of what about morgan's like hollywood's subliminal oh jamie fox jamie fox crazy what about tracy morgan he probably did that too i don't know but it's like he's david you know dave chappelle pointing this out i never would have thought about it you know i mean it's i don't i just see dudes wearing dresses oh i guess someone thought it was funny so everybody kept doing it but you know when when he said it i thought god damn yeah why are they getting all these fucking black dudes to wear dresses? Is it some weird thing where they're trying to, like, they're afraid of the alpha superior sexuality of the black male?

So they're just trying to clown them up publicly. Look at him wearing a dress. Is that what you said? Yeah. I can fit it in. You guys are tight. I can get in there. Sorry, sorry. Get in there.

What was that? I was too verbose. That is the ultimate, like, instinct. Ultimate clowning right make a guy look like a girl yeah you think about it in a club or something

you're with some chick and she's and she you think that she likes another dude what's the first thing you're gonna say he's gay you know what I mean

that's what you wanna say you wanna cock block that's the ultimate bam showstopper oh he's gay what if there was a great movie a great movie

about these like really well built black guys that just went out and fucked the shit out of white women everywhere they went, and it was a real happy ending, and everybody looked like a hero in that movie, and then they released it. Can you imagine the outcry? Like wedding crashes, right?

Like wedding crashes. How many fucking white dudes would hate that movie? They'd be so angry. And women and men, look, people go in fads and trends, and if fucking black guys all of a sudden became the thing to do, you know, if it was like getting your nose pierced, you know, they would just dive on it. It would be the thing.

It would be a huge new thing. Like, girls wouldn't even want to fuck white guys anymore. Just go out and find black guys because of some movie that made them think it was hot. That makes sense. It could totally happen. People are so easily... Look at the fucking...

If you make anything, like, fashionable and a fad, you can convince anyone to do it. Yes, exactly. I mean, look at half the shit that people do. Look at, you know... I mean, I was... Sorry I'm picking on Japan today, but I was in Japan and I saw all these billboards and all the guys were dressed like chicks. And like they made that fashionable to like make themselves look feminine.

That happened in the States, too, with hair metal. So I'm saying now like now it's becoming like you're seeing like skinny jeans and like guys in general. What's worse, skinny jeans or dudes who sag their pants down to the bottom of their dick? They're like waddling because they can't walk. They're just like on the both sides of life. What is that that the one's like way too acidic and one's like way too basic like both damage you're like you want

to be in the middle you can't have too high too low there was some kid at the mall that was waddling like a duck because he had his shit tied down over his dick i mean it was ridiculous homeboy could barely use his legs he was just kind of waddling and he thought he was cool and i was might be the stupidest fucking thing? I've ever got a root of that. There's a root to it a cause Like someone invented that shit. It's because usually they Poor people I think it's come from the poor urban neighborhoods. They can't afford no they can't afford like pants So they just get whatever size they get they have no it's a poor thing? That's what I was told. No. By an Asian woman. It comes from jail.

Jail? Yes. In jail, you're not allowed to have a belt because you can hang yourself. So a lot of guys have pants that are sagging. And they don't give a fuck. Are you sure? Absolutely positive. That sounds more plausible.

That's where it came from. That's why it's all thugs and people that are trying to pretend to be thugs. But this dude was waddling. He had a belt tightened down over his dick. it's like that's where his belt was and his underwear was above that and he was just walking and waddling back and forth like you could just pants him and beat the fuck out of that dude why how long would it take for that dude to put his pants on by anyone whose pants are that naggy they are not ready for action you ain't getting no hip into that punch bitch what is silly legs all close together and being like, ugh.

Easiest takedown ever, too, right? What about wearing an orange jumpsuit? Or like a black and white striped old school uniform? Like, when is that going to be cool for gangsters? Like rappers? Oh, like dress like you're in jail still? Like Abedin Costello in jail? Yeah, I got out.

I kept the jails closed. I don't even buy my own clothes, kid. I just wear straight jail shit outside. The black and white striped ones. Yeah, fifth ward for life. And they carry a ball and chain, but it's like a plastic ball. It's really light. The orange ones were popular.

They carry it around like the goblet thing. They carry it around their ball and chain, and it's all bedazzled out. But on their ankle, they walk around with this plastic ball. Yeah. No, you're not saying plastic. I mean all diamonds. How crazy is they really used to have chain gangs?

They have dudes chained together breaking rocks with sledgehammers. That's absolutely insane. That's what your job was. Breaking rocks with a fucking sledgehammer

all day. We are so spoiled. Think about that. It's amazing. Every day you wake up and you break rocks. It's amazing how many things they could get you

to do that for. Especially now. If there was only a few laws like don you to do that for, you know, especially now. If there was only a few laws, like don't rape anybody, don't kill anybody, don't steal anybody's shit, don't fucking light anybody's house on fire, like real normal basic laws, and then they start doing chain gangs, I'd go, okay. All right, well, those guys obviously are assholes. They broke, we only have 10 laws. They broke them.

But there's so many fucking laws. If you're in a chain gang because you were selling weed You know not fair some kid is facing life in prison in Texas because they caught his silly ass with a bunch of weed And it's always something life in prison. Yeah, he's fucking speeding or something. It didn't have his Yeah, this real anime can we actually play shit don't play dirty shit Brian I'm gonna get us in trouble even if it's fake vaginas. I don't think you're supposed to show them. Are you sure? I don't think so.

There's no anime on YouTube? Ustream's pretty cool. YouTube can't have that shit? This is Ustream. No, they don't show sex. This is apothecary. This is making me nervous. They definitely don't stop sex or show sex.

Isn't that funny? You can show people just getting fucked up by animals, earthquakes, each other. Have you seen that footage from Egypt? It's really scary, man. They're protesting and the riot guards are coming in to kill the protest. You know, because we kicked out their dictator. Mubarak's not there anymore. So there's this power vacuum.

And they're going crazy and beating the fuck out of each other, man. And they try to have like an Occupy thing there where they had tents and they tried to protest. And the fucking police came down armed, the like wearing these crazy helmets and and full body suits and beat people to death with clubs i mean it was horrible man just swarming way more cops than they were protesters so they're on like there's like 10 15 people on one dude just beating the shit out of this dude this one chick they beat her unconscious and then the guy jumped on her and stomped on her chest while she was on the ground.

She died? I don't know. A lot of them died, though. It is hard to watch, man. And you're like, this is going on in 2011. People are capable of that in parts of the world, you know? People are capable of that in a big group. The guy was running towards the crowd, shooting people.

Just running, randomly shooting these protesters. I mean, I'm sure they're probably doing it for like a bonus my boss is probably telling him you whoever kills the most people gets $10,000 bonus yeah who knows every single one of these I don't want stompers started out as like a baby like a sweet little baby like what happened along that way where you like you have a cute little baby and then you have someone's stomach too much judo yeah it's horrific things can come out of the most beautiful creatures it's just a matter of conditioning it's a matter of putting them in a terrible situation the real the real key to this life is that no one's trying to stop those situations from happening

no one no no giant global effort is to go into these poor neighborhoods and clean up their water and educate them and give them clothes and give them a vocation. There's no effort like that going on. The effort is just to steal resources. And the number one resource is being ignored. That resource is human life. Human life and ingenuity and the ability to become some sort of an actual contributing person, you know, to feel like you're a part of this giant human race instead of trapped and fucked by

your situations and surroundings and stuck in some place where there is no money and you are barefoot and your fucking floor is dirt and there's no one to help you. You know, instead of out in there in a mass effort we just go into the mountains and steal minerals you know we go and find natural gas we don't we don't we don't have there's never been a giant global effort where armies have gone in to feed people you know yeah we're not about rising everybody up we're about a few cunts that have already got to the top trying to keep everybody else from getting there yeah how do you feel about

conspiracy theories 9-1-1 inside job or not UFOs real or not I think they're real okay I want you guys to show why do you think I think they're real. I watch your guys' show. What do you think? I think. Bigfoot. No. I believe in Bigfoot more than those other two. Well, the kind of monkeys he was talking about. The kind of monkeys he was talking about. The big gray killer chimps. They sound plausible. You were really confident

in the way you were describing them. Although those are real animals. They know that's an animal. They know absolutely. They have photographs. You can call that Bigfoot. You should make a Joe Rogan shirt that says i believe in bigfoot you're like good thumbs up i believe in bigfoot i believe in bigfoot more than i believe the government absolutely acted as an inside job wow well but the reason being first of all i don't disbelieve either one of them and bigfoot is based on a real animal called Gigantopithecus, which lived in Asia and most likely followed the Bering Strait with people.

When human beings walked across from Asia to America, it's very possible that this animal walked with them. That's why there's over 250 different names in Native American languages for Sasquatch. It's not just one group said they've seen it. And the place where there's the highest concentrations of them is directly in line with where the path would be if they had walked on the Bering Strait and came over to North America. So it's based on a real animal. It's based on an animal that was alive and coexisted with human beings and

coexisted with human beings in the same land where we know people migrated. So it's very possible that Sasquatches are real. They might not be alive anymore. You know, what it might be is that they probably died off, you know, who knows how many generations ago. Or they might be a few fucking breeding populations out deep in the woods. If you fly over the Pacific Northwest,

that is a true rainforest. You know, I mean, there is some dense, dense, dense woods there. And if you were some sort of an intelligent animal and you figured out a way to avoid people for this long and you had as much land as they have up there to roam around in, it's not outside the realm of possibility that there's some sort of an unusual animal that lives up there, you know. But the real deal is if we caught that fucking thing, it would be in a cage in the zoo right next to the monkeys. We'd be like, fuck you, you big bitch.

Get in there. You know, like Sasquatch out in the wild becomes a huge thing with people. They're fascinated by Sasquatch. People have dedicated their lives to finding Sasquatch. There's books and movies. There's like reality TV shows out now. People are like, finding Sasquatch. But if we knew it was real and it was in the zoo, you'd barely even look at it.

Like, oh, it's a big stupid monkey. Yeah. You know, where's the birds? Like imagine if tigers were like a rumor. Yeah, exactly. Like, dude, there's these orange cats. They live in the jungles in India and they're covered in black stripes. Jesus.

And yeah, they hide in the swamps and they come out and they just jump and seize deer from the middle of nowhere. And they eat people. They eat people. But they're cats, but they like water. And they take baths all the time. They people. They eat people and, but they're cats, but they like water. And then they like, they take baths all the time. They can swim like a motherfucker.

Yeah. Like that sounds made up. It sounds terrifying. Yeah. We talked about that before. Like, like with crocodiles. Yeah.

Alligators. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. So much of nature. Hippos. How about that crazy asshole in South America or South Africa? Rather,

they got killed by his hippo. He had a pet hippo, kept it for years. One day that thing fucked him up. Whoa. Hippos are the craziest looking animal. If you see one in person, you're like, that thing can annihilate me. They don't even look real.

It looks like a Star Wars monster. You know? Like Avatar. It looks like something that'd be wandering through the woods in Avatar. You know? It really does. It's like hippos are just ridiculous. Some asshole thinking he can have one of those as a pet. The world is filled with nutty animals. You know, it really does. It's like hippos are just they're ridiculous. Some asshole thinking you can have one of those as a pet.

The world is filled with nutty animals, you know, between big cats and lions and elephants and rhinos. The fact that rhinos are real, like you see this giant armored thing that just wanders around, not afraid of anybody, you know, just figure it out a way to like, all right, I'm just going to make myself so fucking big and make my skin so fucking thick. Put a sword on my face. Yeah, that I'm going to eat around lions. I don't want to be like, what, bitch? Yeah, I'm nearsighted. I can't even see three feet. Listen, you fuck with me.

I'm going to stomp you. I'm just going to eat this grass. But meanwhile, they didn't anticipate humans. The fleshiest, weakest bitches of all figuring out a way to make a bang stick that sends a fucking bullet right through your stupid brain bomb boom exit wound twitch lights go out in georgia so easy for a person to kill a rhino i know people say like people are so terrible i'm like well we're doing really well like we gotta get ourselves a pat on the back like evolution wise oh yeah we're killing it we're. We're so good that we feel bad for the other animals that lost.

Yeah. Yeah. We're like that far ahead where you look back and you're like, oh, no. I've always said there's a war between animals, and we're so far ahead that we forgot it's a war. We're so far ahead that we forgot that we have these prison camps set up in our city, and they're called zoos. That's what a zoo is.

They don't want to be in there. We've captured the enemy, and we have them locked up. Those bears would eat people. Those lions would eat people. Well, some people could argue that the animals are contributing to the better good for most animals because it makes more people aware of them and they can see them and they care more. They're sacrificing a tiger. Yeah, they're sacrificing for the rest.

Because think of all the people that donate in the U.S. to the National Tiger Fund because they see a commercial for tigers. If they never saw a tiger in real life in a zoo... I've never thought about that. That's interesting. Yeah. If you think of all the people that donate to cheetah foundations and stuff like that,

they've seen a cheetah. That's something tangible to them. They're like, wow, I saw this documentary. Can you imagine this moving as fast as it was there? This animal right here? It makes them real. It makes people care more. If you think about it,

they're actually doing some good. I believe that, but it's still a really cruel and inhuman thing to do to take a predator, to take something that its entire evolutionary reward system is set up for it to get this giant rush out of chasing

things and killing them. This orgasmic response. Well, they could treat them better. They could treat them in a way where they could like simulate more than yeah let them kill things let them a hunt you know like you can make captivity better like yes taking the fridays so huge against like killing animals and eating them i'm like huge into like torturing them before that you know like i tried being vegan if they feel like a cow lived a happy life and hung out with other cows like hey cow what, cow, what's up? I'm going to eat some grass.

Cool. Then one day, boom, it's dead. And then I eat it. I wouldn't feel bad for that cow. Right. But if it's like suffering and living in some like shit the whole its whole life and like limping around and having diseases, being pumped full of hormones. I don't like that that much. Do you try to eat like grass fed beef and stuff like that?

Oh, not as much as I should. But I guess now I'm kind of 135. I'm really going to have to pay attention to all that stuff. Yeah, you're going to go on some sort of a strict nutritional program and then just slowly see what you can chip away before you go to camp. So now you eat whatever the fuck you feel like eating. Yeah, but I'm still, I'm helling it out. Like, I'm the only girl that talks about her weight, like, all over. Hey, everyone on the internet, I weighed 150 pounds today.

Right. What do you eat on your cheat days? Girls want to weigh like a hundred if they're not fighters you know the carnival game where they guess your weight or age I've never lost one of my life the last one I went to they were off by 33 pounds god damn they don't want to say 150 plus you know but they're like I'm sorry I'm sorry you know we guess really high because they had to guess for your clothes and your boot. Like, I was wearing boots and a jacket and all this stuff, and the guy was still 33 pounds off.

That's funny. Over or under? Under. He was under by 33 pounds. Uh-oh. Do you have, like, a garage full of SpongeBob? SpongeBob. From winning all the prizes?

No, it's funny. You know, like, my boyfriend won me a prize at not scary farm and then i gave him my my fat shark i called my fat shark because i got it for being fat and so i gave him a prize and he went and got me well it's usually what you pay to get them to to ask you the question isn't even worth what the fucking exactly it's a scam but i just like to see everyone be surprised how much does it cost to buy one of those stupid stuffed animals? Three cents in China? They're almost so awful. Those stuffed animals are like the perfect example of child labor in Korea or something like that.

Because those things are just awful. The world of the carny, the world of the traveling carnival, taking in rubes. What a strange, strange world that must be in. Did anybody ever do a series on carnivals? Yeah, I saw one. I can't remember what it was. I'm remembering it too, but I don't remember who the hell it was. There was something, right? It wasn't a Stephen

King thing, was it? No, I was thinking of Carnival or whatever, but I also saw a documentary about it. What's that? I was thinking of Carnival. You ever see that show on Showtime? Oh, I think that is it. Maybe that's what, well,

I think I saw a documentary too. Who knows? Anyway. Yeah. That's a weird world where you're, you know, driving in towns and just ripping people off. Yeah.

You know, didn't Steve-O grow up. I think I want, it seems like Steve-O. No, Steve-O's dad like owns Coca-Cola or something. Right. He's like a high executive in Coca-Cola.

Like, yeah, he comes from like a really rich background. Really? Yeah. Holy shit. Steve-O's dad owns Coca-Cola or something. Right? He's a high executive in Coca-Cola. Yeah, he comes from a really rich background. Really? Yeah. Holy shit. Steve-O's family's loaded. Wow.

How weird must they feel about him being this fucking crazy guy? We did a video, or we played a video with him when he was on the podcast. He showed us a video of that show Wild Boys where he was up on a tree. There's a commercial for Nintendo. Oh, is that what it was? Yeah, for Nintendo 3DS. A lion climbed up on top of the tree and got on top of him and didn't kill him.

Wow. Yeah, it is horrific. It's so scary to watch. Can we see this now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pull it up. Pull it up. I want to see that shit.

I know. It's crazy. And you know what's really funny? The description really brought me in. He's wearing a hat, like one of those big safari dude hats, and the lion bites the hat but doesn't bite him. And I was thinking, man, what if the lion got confused by that hat, didn't know what the fuck it was going to do with the guy,

so just like, what am I eating? Shit, I'm not even hungry. And just left him alone there. But if that hat wasn't there, what if he bit into his neck and enjoyed it? Yeah. And just decided, all right, I'll just eat this dude. You know, this seems like I can eat this. That's true. Check this it out

With wireless multiplayer and loads of other cool stuff allowing us to be as well multiplayer and loads of other cool stuff allowing us to be as wild as we want to be steve-o with a touch screen i can beat your one finger this is real bro nintendo ds touching is good available in stores november 21st see my boys see some commercial though i'm sure that's a train line no this wasn't that's what he was saying he's like they just went there got him said he said he was fucking horrified. And the only way they got that lion off of him is the guy had a stick with a chicken on the end of it. Wow. Yeah.

Here's behind the scenes. We didn't see this part of it where they're talking about. Elephants ramming into it. We've heard of all kinds of leopard sightings. And today there's likely to be a bunch of big male African lions pouncing. You have a gnarly hair growing out of your nose. You were nowhere near it. What are you talking about? I got it, pal. No, you didn't. Not the bad one. Oh yeah, I got a pretty, pretty major one. I spent all this money on new teeth, and then I let my nose hair grow out of control.

More money, more problems. This is the dumbest conversation ever. Okay, stop this before my head hurts. He's a crazy boy. He does nutty shit with animals, man. He does some nutty shit with animals. I'm going to see if they show any more tiger in this. shame or time he doesn't know though now there's a clean sober totally uh... different dude

israeli is that we talked to me said that he has uh... dreams that like box office that's what we have to say restrain to the relaxes spiced while i was in the regard means that When the wild boys said they were gonna battle out in the plains of Africa, a lot of people said it couldn't be done.

You bastard! Good kitty. Good kitty, good kitty. Good. Oh my god, get off of him! Get off of him you. Woo hoo! Get off of him!

Get off of him! Get off of him! Get off of him! Get off of him! Get off of him! Get off of him! Get off of him! Get off of him!

Get off of him! Get off of him! Get off of him! Get off of him! get off of him! Get off of him, you ****! Woohoo! Yeah! Woohoo! You bastard! What the ****, man? That guy was riding on top of an elephant.

He said a dude with a chicken came by and get him off. He said a dude with a chicken came by and get him off. Do you think you'd sleep really well after that or you'd be up all night? Oh, I'd never sleep again after that. I was just like, I'm dead. I completely resigned to the fact that I was dead. He held on to the Nintendo. What a fucking professional.

He held on to that Nintendo. They should have paid him double for that Right? Wow I would never have noticed that They're like Yeah, you own the Nintendo We were watching We were all thinking the same thing

It would be so much funnier If he was in a thong If he was in a thong Oh god Those crazy jackass boys I love that Wild boys Listen

I think that's the end of this thing. What do you think? Seems like the end. Yeah, I got to go to the Armo Awards. Where are you going? They have like an Armenian sports award show or something tonight. Oh, yeah? Does Carl get the gold medal?

I don't know, but they said I have to come because they're like, we're going to give you an award. I'm like, I'm Armenian. How's Carl doing? They're like, we'll do whatever we want. We'll give you one anyway. Let me guess, it's in Glendale? So they're giving you an award? I don't know. Maybe they're making'll do whatever we want we'll give you one anyway let me guess it's in glendale so they're giving you an award i don't know maybe they're making it up and messing with me i can never take them serious how did also any armenians find glendale

how'd they choose glendale i think they're very family oriented you know they all want to be close to their family where their family's at so everyone just kind of wanted to live in the same area i heard something completely i heard there was like this this family that came out that started it and was like hey and got everyone to move there for some reason. From Armenia? Yeah, he became like mayor of Glendale or something like that. Really? And then he told, hey, everyone, come here and we can all work together.

You know what's best about Brian's story? It's probably some sort of origin in there that really makes sense. But by the time he forgets it and then tries to recreate it and then yeah he was like totally like the mayor of glendale or something but it might have really been it seems like he's on google well there has to be something there's no way you can have so many uh people of one uh nationality that choose to live in one area i mean glendale armenians is like as as synonymous as you can get, right? Yeah. I don't know. They're smart, man.

A lot of wild Armenian fighters. They're really smart people. They figure it out. How's Carl Prezian doing? Carl's good. I haven't seen him in a while. I saw him wrestling a little bit ago. I think I've haven't seen him for like a few months. Is he doing better? Yeah, he looked good to me last time. Like, last time

I trained with him, he was actually feeling better, and he looked better. Pills are a motherfucker. Scary shit, isn't it? Yeah, dude. All because of his injury. He had a hamstring injury, and they got him on some painkillers. You ever see his hamstring? I haven't seen it.

It's crazy. He's, like, missing a bite out of it. It's like a pterodactyl bit a chunk out of his hamstring. One of his legs, I forget which one of them is, he had a bad injury. Like, you ever see a guy when a guy gets a bicep tear and it kind of curls up on his arm? It happened to him on his leg. And so one of his legs, it's like when he flexes it, it's like someone literally, like someone took a bite out of his hamstring.

It's kind of crazy. I love Carl. I hope he's doing all right. My first day there, he told that he, like, pulled me in front of everybody and said if anyone was mean to me, he'd kick their ass. He, like, yeah. Carl is a character, man. He's a character.

How's that, Karin? I love that dude. Karin Darby. Yeah, Karin's great. I see him at Heisman. He's still trained. I don't know if he's thinking about fighting anymore, but he's working. He was so highly touted, that guy.

He's so talented, dude. He had two fights with just the worst luck ever. He was dominating both dudes, running through them, standing up, took them down at will, and just beat the shit out of them on the ground. But he stayed in the guard and gave them a shot. And he would never, the thing is, he would never get caught with anything like that at practice. Yeah, exactly. And those guys just came up.

I've tried to arm bar him from there a lot of times and it's not easy to do. He just smelled too much blood. He was, there was too much domination going on where he felt so confident that this guy's done. And he was just beating

the shit out of the last two fights that Paul Chababoski or whatever the hell his name is, Paul. I don't remember who he fought. You know what I'm talking about? Redhead guy with the tattoos.

He was all over him and then got caught in an arm bar like in a half a second two fights in a row that guy has so much talent i hope he doesn't get up oh bart palaszewski yes barbara situation is so hard to recreate you know training when you're actually really getting somebody here at the very end of it like how can you you're not gonna really beat it on anyone that you train with that bad yeah it's almost like you have to have like a like fight experience you have to have experience exactly yes a fight experience. You have to have experience doing that.

So, like, judge that because you can't really practice it. Very talented guy, though, and a really talented grappler, too. Yeah. That's the thing. Oh, he's so technical. He's great. Yeah, and when you see him get tapped, like, you saw him get tapped once, like, no way.

Wow, anybody can get caught. And you see him get tapped a second time, like, wow, maybe there's, like, you know, what happened there? It's like, he hit a mental block? I mean, what is it? It's all up to him. I don't know. No, it was just it was just him in beast mode.

He went into beast mode too much. He was. Well, that's what I meant. Like a mental block. This didn't think about what he was doing. You know, he left his shit out there and he got caught in something he would never get caught in. I hope he comes back.

I do, too. Really talented kid. He's still looking good. He's still training. And so what did you think about that fucking Frank Miranogar fight? Was that the craziest shit ever? I couldn't even watch the replay. And the crazy thing is, I know I would do that myself, but

I couldn't watch someone else do it. Frank Mir is the all-time bonebreaker. He's the all-time bonebreaker. Roberto Traven, first fight in the UFC, breaks his arm. Yeah. And then Tim Sylvia snaps his forearm. Who the fuck ever snaps someone's forearm? And then you think, well, that's the craziest shit he's gonna do. No. He breaks Noguera's arm. And he breaks his, well, that's the craziest shit he's going to do. No. He breaks Noguera's arm.

And he breaks his upper arm. Not even the forearm. Like heavyweights. They have all that size and weight and strength they have. They're not just going to break someone's arm. They're going to snap it. That sequence that he does, that sequence where Noguera rolled him over, he made Noguera roll him over.

He does it on purpose. And so he sets up the Kimura. It really has a whole video where he shows what he does. He tries to get the Kimura and then he gets his hands locked. He, on purpose, puts a bunch of weight on his head.

It goes down to his head so the guy tries to roll him over. And as the guy rolls him over, that's when he cranks the Kimura and gets on top and finishes it. But it started before that, though. It was really... When Noguera was trying to get his back. Noguera was all over him. Mora and gets on top and finishes it. But it started before that, though. It was really...

Noguera was all over him. The fight could have easily been stopped. Noguera was looking great. He looked better than he's ever looked. Faster, more explosive. He came out super aggressive. He's been looking lethargic a little bit on his feet

these last couple fights, but I've never seen Noguera come out like a fast shark. And he was all over him. His mistake was sitting back for that guillotine when he was on top. I know he's looking at that, and he's looking at that was the point. If he would have just stayed on top

and kept punching him in the side of the head, he wanted to close him with a nice submission. When he went for that guillotine, and Frank Mir defended it beautifully, ended up on top of him, and still Nogueira was in great shape. He's like, okay, I messed up. I went for the guillotine.

He got on top. But check this out. I'm going to peek out and take your back. He always peeks out. He did that to Bob Sapp. That was his shit. He peeked out, but he left his arm behind. And that's where it all went wrong for him.

And when Frank Mir jumped on that Kimura, his hips went and rewind. He pulled his hips out of the half guard that Noguera had on him and then ended up in the top position with the Kimura. Didn't have the greatest balance, so Noguera rolled him. And then when he got back on top and re-rolled him, he made sure his balance was together

and then he just closed the show. But the reason that fight was so obvious, I mean, it was so amazing, it's obvious actually, Frank Mir could have easily been stopped. That fight was over. You even called him. You even said, they're going to stop it. Frank Mir's out.

And to come back and break his arm is incredible. And it's, you know, for Frank Mir, I've heard people say that he doesn't come back from adversity well. That when Brock Lesnar started beating on him, when Shane Carwin started beating on him, I didn't agree with these things because I said, when I looked at those fights, I was like, well, you know, what is the body physically capable of doing at a certain point in time? When you got a guy like Shane Carwin who's feeding you those fucking left uppercuts that he was hitting him with, Do you remember that fight?

Dude, I mean there's not much he could have done other than what he did do Not much his body is going to allow him to absorb When Carwin's blasting you and Carwin hits fucking hard And he uncorked one after another after another You know, how can one fight back from that? I don't know if they can People that don't fight, they don't realize how big these guys are And how small those gloves are

and how good they are at hitting each other. Like, it's hard to... Hold on, what, Brian? You blocked somebody in. Oh, I did? Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, we'll end the podcast.

All right. That's why we're ending it. We're ending it on Frank Mir being a bad motherfucker. Quick little plug. Yeah, sure. 10thplanetjiujitsu.com. I got 30 schools worldwide. And if you're not near any of those schools, you could jump on my website.

All my lessons I videotape, put up on my website. $4.99 a month. You have access to the entire 10th Planet system. Go to 10thplanetjj.com. Hook it up. Hook it up. Rhonda Rousey, you plugging anything? You can plug Twitter at Rhonda Rousey, R-O-N-D-A-R-U-S-E-Y. Ronda Rousey. You plugging anything? Plug Twitter at Ronda Rousey.

R-O-N-D-A-R-U-S-E-Y. RondaMMA.com. Ronda Rousey and Eddie Bravo. You guys both sound like characters in a fucking movie. You're superheroes. That was actually the first word I ever said. That was my first word. Really?

What? That was the first word you ever said? Because every time after we played Patty Cake, then he'd say Bravo and clapper then, and that was my first word was Bravo. So Ronda Rousey on Twitter. I'm very experienced at saying your name. Crazy. Bravo. Ronda Rousey on Twitter.

Anything else? Yeah, Scissors, Vanity, Jeans, Polani Watches, BossRooten.com, Gaspari Nutrition. Oh, this is all your sponsors? Yeah. Oh, cool. Nice, nice. And we'll see when you schedule a fight in Strikeforce again. I'm hoping for the spring. I'm hoping for the spring. 135, I'm fighting.

Powerful Ronda Rousey. Thank you, everybody, for tuning in. Thank you to the Fleshlight. Go to joerogan.net. Click on the link for the Fleshlight. Enter in the code name ROGAN, and you get 15% off. Thank you to Onnit.com. O-N-N-I-T.

Makers of Alpha Brain. Shroom Tech. And now Shroom Tech Immune. It is a... Aubrey explained it yesterday. Some sort of a mushroom that stimulates your immune system, gets your immune system to think that it's going to have to fight it off, but it doesn't actually.

So it just makes your super pumped immune system dominate against disease. We also have Shroom Tech Sport, which is the one made out of the cordyceps mushroom and the 5-HTP supplement, New Mood. Go to onnit.com, enter in the code name RO Rogan, get yourself 10% off. Thank you, everybody, for tuning in. This Friday, we're going to have the anniversary podcast. So Friday the 23rd is the second anniversary of us doing this podcast. So we don't

know who's going to be on it, but it will be Friday, and it will be before our show at the Ice House. Thank you, everybody. Ronda Rousey, you're a badass motherfucker. Thank you for coming down here. It was a lot of fun having you. You're cool as fuck. Eddie Bravo, always my dog.

Brian Redband, follow him on Twitter and follow the Death Squad on iTunes. And if you want to get the iTunes Chronicles, that's the podcast that we do right here

out of the Ice House. Did I say the iTunes Chronicles? I did. I don't know. I think I did. If you want to get the Ice House Chronicles, it's the podcast

we do right here out of this studio at the Ice House Ice House Chronicles it's the podcast we do right here out of this studio at the Ice House in Pasadena we do it all the time with some of the best comics in the world that's only available

on Death Squad so fucking sign up for that shit alright we love you bye bye bye I forgot the bathroom so bad. Okay.