The Joe Rogan Experience - #1690 - JessiMae Peluso

Episode Date: July 31, 2021

Jessimae Peluso is a standup comedian and television personality. She's the host of "Tattoo Redo" on Netflix, and the "Sharp Tongue" podcast.

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. If it's up, if it's up, if it's up. Salute. Salute. Good to see you, my friend. L'chaim. L'chaim.

La Freud. Thank you for this. You're welcome. Good to see you, my friend. What's happening? It's manly. It's a manly beverage. That tastes like stepdad.

I don't know what that means, but I'm laughing. There's so many different ways you can take that. Wait, have you seen, I'm sure you have, the cut Joe Rogan is a nice guy. Is it with you and me? Yeah. Is it a Pink Trip one? Was it a Pink Trip one? Have you seen that, Jamie?

It's so funny. Pink Trip is a wizard. Oh my God, the edits. I cry laughing at that. Yeah, he's really good at that. He's done probably dozens of those things. It's so ridiculous. Yeah.

A bunch of people sent that to me recently and you're like, Gah! It's so ridiculous A bunch of people sent that to me recently And you're like It tells a whole story It's amazing the amount of time That it takes to do something like that Like to edit these things First of all you would have to listen to the entire podcast Then you have to like write down The moments where someone said a certain thing

That you could kind of piece together And make this kind of crazy narrative that he does. He really had a full, there was more story evolution in that than like M. Night Shyamalan's movies. Like the ending ended up being like, you know. A twist. A twist. You know what I saw that was

very M. Night Shyamalan How do you say it? Shyamalan? Shyamalan. Shyamalan. Did you see Us? The Jordan Peele movie? Oh, it's so good. So weird, right? Yeah, dark and new. I love Jordan's movies. I feel like, I don't know how he accesses that part of his creativity

where he creates a little bit something new to watch. Totally different. Totally different. Like, it doesn't, there's no movie like that. No, and with thriller, with that genre, I feel like it's hard to create something we haven't seen yes it's hard to like tweak it you know i just watched a movie that is like that because i know you like these movies you could probably hold your breath much longer than i can how long can you hold your breath you just saw like two seconds

i don't know how good's the sale i could hold my breath long on a nice sale You just saw. That's it. Like two seconds. I don't know. How good's the sale? I could hold my breath long on a nice sale. There's this movie called a classic Italian, a classic horror movie. And it's an Italian movie. It's called a classic horror movie? A classic horror movie. Classic horror story.

Classic horror story. Does it say it's Italian? I think it's on Netflix. It's on Netflix. Jarring. Really? Jarring. Is it, say it's Italian? Uh. I think it's on Netflix. It's on Netflix. Jarring. Really? Jarring. Is it in subtitles?

It's in subtitles, which you forget. Really? You're not like preoccupied with reading Italian. It's just so freaky. It's like the same thing when George. Look at you. You're freaking out. It's like midsummer.

Give me some volume on this trailer. Oh God, it's so dark. It's like mid-summer. Give me some volume on this trailer. Oh, God. It's so dark. Look, it looks like your studio. It's actually a trailer for Joe Rogan Experience. It's a stag head on the wall. This is me walking in. Guy comes in with a hood on.

There's Jamie. Oh, Jesus Christ. That's pretty good. It's fucked up. Yeah? It's one of those movies like Jordan Peele where you see things you've never seen, which I don't know if is a good thing on your psyche. I feel like we sort of get desensitized to this sort of gore,

and it's got to do something to you psychologically that's not good. It's fun. Right. There's something weird about watching people torture people. I did not enjoy those Saw movies. No. I was like, eh. But would you do it if you had to survive?

You have two girls and a wife. I mean, you'd probably chop off someone's shin if you needed to do it to get home to them, wouldn't you? Is that what happens in the Saw movie? The next one coming out, probably. Oh, that's right. The guy makes you do stuff if you home to them, wouldn't you? Is that what happens in the Saw movie? The next one coming out, probably. Oh, that's right. Like, the guy makes you do stuff if you want to live. Let's play a game. What's this?

The Spinal Destination movies fucked me up. I feel like all the deaths that people had, like, can't drive behind a trailer with logs. I think about it every time. Or a dude with, like, a janky attached ladder, which is everyone in LA. By the way, there's always a janky attached ladder on the back. To the back of a pickup truck?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you could die from those. I think of that every time when I think of Final Destination. I'm like, this is going to fly through my windshield. This is going to be it. Certainly could. It could. Yeah.

But I also think that when I take an edible, I go through like the Final Destination menu of ways to die. My friend Cam in his town, some guy hit a tree. I know you love him. Cam is just so attractive and I'm sure his wife is lovely and I'm not trying to homewreck. She's a lovely lady. I'm sure she's a lovely lady. Don't be a homewrecker. I won't be. I'm admiring. Can I? You can.

What world are we in that I can't admire a man's attractiveness? You can. Okay, thank you. There's plenty of shirtless video of him online too. You can admire all of it. See, now you're baiting. Now you're baiting a bitch. You can spit on your fingers and have a good time. No, now you're baiting. Now you're baiting a bitch. You can spit on your fingers and have a good time. No one cares. It's America. You don't even have to

wear a mask. Is that the slogan in Austin? Just spit on your fingers and have a good time. America. No. That's not the slogan. No, that's not how they say it. Where were we going with this? We were talking about Cam.

Yeah, but before that. I mean, come on. Yeah, look at that. Are you guys twins? He shoots his bow off his kitchen table in the morning while he's seated. I had this thought when I watched this video, and I thought, his wife must really love him to have the decor look like that in the living room. Yeah, my wife thought the same thing.

Like, fuck you. You're never having sheep's heads in the living room. Well, you said your marriage works because you have your stuff here. Yeah, it's true. And you let her decorate. It's a big factor. I don't decorate shit at my house. You don't care about it.

I have two Greg Overton paintings, these amazing Native American paintings that this guy Greg Overton made. They're fucking wild. Have you ever seen that guy's work? I think through you I have. It's the only stuff. You saw it in my old studio. I did.

The white one. The chief. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. It's beautiful. Yeah. And he's got another one that he made for my house. That's the only shit in the... That's the one.

Look at that. How fucking wicked is that? It looks like a photograph. That thing's huge. It's beautiful.'s the one look at that how fucking wicked is that it looks like a photograph that thing's huge it's as big as that other thing is as big as that um the uh drawing that we just unveiled it's so beautiful yeah no he's incredible his work's incredible so i have two of his paintings in my house that's it yeah and even that's a stretch i'm sure for your what it's is that a compromise yeah your wife? Yeah, I do have. She's like one Native American above the kitchen. Over the fireplace, I do have the first elk that I ever killed.

You do? Yeah, but I don't have them like he has it with the fake. People do, what they do is they do a mount where they have, it's plastic, and then they stretch skin over it and give it fake eyeballs, and it makes it look like a real deer. I just have the skull. I have the skull with the antlers attached. That's pretty. See, I could vibe with that.

But to have like fur. Fake. Yeah, it's all fake eyeballs and fake nose and shit. Yeah, it just feels weird. It feels weird to be in a living room filled with dead woodland creatures. Yeah. I do have to say, though, it is an art form like real taxidermy. The people that know how to do it well, it's incredible.

I know this guy who lives in Dallas, and his whole fucking house is like, he's got a room in his house. He's got a lot of cash. So he's got this enormous room in his house that's all stuffed animals. And what does he do? Just, like, take shrooms and go have conversations with them at night? I don't know what he does. I never asked him. Why would you have?

I mean, everyone lived their life into each their own, but it would be kind of creepy. Well, he's been a hunter for like 40 years. So over the 40 years, this is his first deer, this is his first elk, this is a mountain goat. Exactly. It's trophies that you eat.

That whole term, trophy hunting, people think you're killing them just for the trophy, and people get really disgusted by that because they think of killing lions and things along those lines. But that's not what he's doing. He eats them. Yeah, rich white people who don't really want to be or have the skill it takes to do the type of hunting that you do, do those types of hunting excursions where they get a rhino or an elephant, right?

There's some truth to that. How do you feel about that, i don't like it i don't like um i don't like any of the shooting a thing that you don't want to eat none of that it's so wasteful except when you have to because there's too many of them and they're uh like if they're predators and they're tearing apart like livestock and stuff like like we do the deer population and stuff yeah but that's a different thing like the deer deer population like they have to thin the herd in in a lot of places just because there's so many car accidents and do you know how many car accidents there are in michigan every year with deer is that what they say it is but it's really like miller genuine Draft? It was a deer.

No, there's fucking dead deer on the scene. I believe it. I think it's more than a million. Yeah. Pull up how many collisions with deer in Michigan in like, you know, 2019 or some shit. So does this happen because, it must happen because one little thing is out of whack in the whole ecosystem. Like that. No, it's called cars.

Well, yeah, but I mean like the overpopulation of deer. Like that seems like a lot of deer to have in one area. It is a lot. But the only way you don't have that many is if you have a lot of predators. Okay, Michigan had 55,000 motor vehicle deer crashes in 2019. Wow. Why am I up so long? Yeah, you really jumped that number up.

Maybe it was like over the whole country. How many in the country per year? I would think it would definitely be a million at least. It was way more. I remember reading something that was way more than that. Maybe it wasn't Michigan. Maybe it was Iowa. There's one of them fucking corn-fed places.

You just drive straight through it and it's all flat? It's the country. It's the straight through it and it's all flat? It's the country. It's the country. Okay. What is it? It's about a million. Its average is about a million.

A million. Causes about a billion dollars in vehicle damage. Just hitting deer. So a million in the country. My numbers are always off. Always. But I love it. You know what happens?

A billion deer get run over in Austin a day. A billion in my neighborhood. I do see a lot in my neighborhood. I see so many of them. I saw a little baby today, a little baby and her mama. I have my baby deers here, Chaplin. He's adorable. He's so, so cute. He's a teeniest little thing. He's like a three month trimester deer. He's the tiniest dog ever. And I feel like such a stereotypical girl being on the road with a dog. But honestly, I mean, you have Marshall. Dogs really are the greatest. They're so comforting.

Yeah, and they like being around you. Right. Everybody wins. Everybody wins. I don't have any kids. These are my children for now. Yeah, I get it. Until Brad Pitt feels like he wants to start another. Would you want to have a baby with him now?

He might have dusty loads. He's a little older. Not at Coachella this summer. Dusty Lodes will not be performing. Dusty Lodes to the center stage. Sounds like a male stripper. Sounds like a drag queen. That's a great drag queen name. Dusty Lodes.

I honestly, I feel like Dusty Lodes are the only Lodes I want shot in me these days. Right. I feel like it's the safest Lode. You want the old ones? The old one. You don't want some young, like, whippersnapper? I don't want feral Lodes. Feral. Yeah, I don't want viral.

Viral. What's the word? Viral? I don't want that. Feral or virile., I don't want viral, virile. What's the word? Virile? I don't want that. Feral or virile. I want somebody who's, you know, Brad would be perfect. I'm just putting the vibe out there. They should fall asleep afterwards. I need a motherfucker who takes a nap.

Right, right. Doesn't want round two. Right, right, right. Or three. Can I? Those round three people are dangerous. Oh, God. Those round three.

Like, the vagina is a very delicate space. Some people's. Let's be honest. Some of them can take a beating. Not for Aunt Linda. They vary. They do vary. They vary wildly.

So do dicks. I'm sure. It only took us 20 minutes to get here. Sure. I don't think it took us 20. How long have we been running? 10 minutes? 12.

12 minutes in. 12 minutes in and we're already on dicks. Full dick-sclosure, can I tell you? Can you tell me what? I've missed you so much. I've missed you too. I really have. I hooked up with this guy years ago, and I nicknamed him Tuna Nagiri.

Tuna? You know Tuna Nagiri? Oh, is that the size of his dick? Uh-huh. It was a piece of tuna on rice. And that's being generous. Poor fella. He lasted, and I'm not exaggerating, 30 seconds.

So it was like, imagine having a pinky slip in. It felt like an exam. But he was this beautiful man, so talented. And all the other things, check the boxes, except for mine. The thing about that is there's nothing a guy can do. What can you do? It's a real bummer. It is.

Because if a woman wants to get large breasts, she can do it. If she wants to get her vagina tightened up, no problem. She wants to fix her face and change her lips and everybody's amenable to all those. This is a little creepy when you start fucking with your face, but whatever. It is. The lip thing bothers me. It's just when people- It bothers me that you need that much attention that you're doing this yeah i mean you make it look like inner tubes

but then again it goes back to what people are feeling it doesn't match this right right so it looks weird it's like all of a sudden it comes out right it's like you have a regular upper lip right and then it gets puffy right and it just looks crazy it It looks crazy. Yeah, I agree. It's an L.A. standard, though. Yeah. Well, it's a lot of places now because of thoughts. Because them social media hoes, you know, they're all, they're everywhere. Because they can get so much attention. You don't have to be specific to a location.

You know, I was thinking about that. Like, you know, you think about throughout history and people's contribution and what people have done to society. And just sharing stories of people in your life. And we look at all these girls on Instagram. It's like, what did you do? What did you do for society? They're like 20. What are they supposed to?

Who the fuck has done anything at 20? I mean, Amelia Earhart was pretty young when she got up in that fucking area. Yeah, but still, she did something. She flew. Didn't work out, did it? It didn't work out, but you know, it doesn't always work out in the end, Joe, for any of us. I think she starved to death on an island. God bless her.

That's a way to go. Fucking balls to the wall. Just gasping for a cheeseburger under the sun and you get eaten slowly by a... Crab. Crab. Crab's eating your feet. I was going to say a dragon. You're looking down, there's crabs eating your feet.

No. Isn't that a beautiful circle of life story, though? Just to go quietly in your bed? How boring. They found stuff on an island. My youngest daughter is actually really into Amelia Earhart. She was giving me Amelia Earhart facts about what happened to her and how they found that it was her. And I think one of the things they found was a type of makeup that she used that was on the island, like a little, you know, like a compact or some shit.

It was on the island. And they tracked it. They knew that she wore that rouge. Well, they were pretty sure this was in the general area of where she was traveling when she must have went down. What I'm saying, she, that, just that legacy. Like, how are these other bitches going to die with their, you know, face and their lip injections? I think it is only because of the legacy. Like, how are these other bitches gonna die with their, you know, face and their lip injections? I think it is only because of the legacy. Bitches are leaving lipacy now, not legacy.

You know what I'm saying? I see what you did there. You appreciate that shit? Not really. Okay. All right, we'll move on. We'll move on fast. You threw it out there and you went,

that's a dud. You knew it was a dud. Oh my God, this feels so good i've missed ball busting i've missed laughing okay wait all right so it's everything i got you something oh no something very special oh no i i've wanted to give this to you for so long and you were like a kid in a candy store for a second because you wanted it outside. Well, she told me about it, and then she said, I have to do it on the podcast. You do just because it...

Criminy. There's bubble wrap to deal with. Open the thing first. And then... Don't read that. Don't read the top of the... I won't read anything. I'm not reading shit.

So this guy hit me up, and I just made a comment of wanting a survival item. And then he does these custom, Craig Pinhorn makes these beautiful custom survival. I don't want to say what it is as you're opening. It's obvious. It's a fucking knife. Wow, that is really nice. That's so pretty. Do you see what's on it you're opening it. It's obvious. It's a fucking knife. Wow, that is really nice. That's so pretty. Do you see what's on it? Not on it. Can you imagine

it's on its logo? On it's on it. On the other side. What is it? Your favorite guy. Oh, it's Richard Pryor. Yeah, he put that on there. Oh, shit. So Pryor can go and gut bears in the wild with It's hard for anybody to see this, but there's a tiny little Richard Pryor image that looks

like it's etched in there, probably like a little laser etching or some shit. That's awesome. It took him a lot. I mean, he handmade all of that. He made me one, too. Mine's pretty dope. Mine has like- That's incredible.

He just sent mine, and it's got leopard print. I have leopard print on mine. Wow. Oh, like your hand, like your little tattoo. He print on mine. Wow. Oh, like your hand. Yeah. Like your little tattoo. He made it match my tattoo. Oh, wow.

Isn't that beautiful? I know you're somebody who knows a lot about these types of tools. That's a very nice knife. This is really well made, and it's very heavy, too. Yeah, I feel like the craftsmanship is beyond. So I just was like, I want something that he can actually use and something that has to do with what he loves. That's so cool.

Thank you. You're welcome. That's very cool. I've missed you and I just wanted you to have a little fun. Have you been doing stand up? I have. I didn't do any virtual. Good for you.

Well, I mean, you know, I rested on your opinion and and others joey diaz and other people like you don't have to be desperate you're fine kid yeah it's i think it's good to take a little time off of stand-up i felt good about it like hell yeah i i enjoyed just the relaxation time and then getting back to it you know i've told the story before but i did a show with ron white where ron was like I'm retired. I'm going to retire. I got plenty of money. I'm going to sell my jet. I'm going to retire.

And then he did one set at Vulcan and fucking murdered. And he grabbed me by both shoulders. I said, whatever we have to do, we're going to go back to doing this. You'll figure it out, Joe Rogan. You get that one sip back. He's putting it on me to start a club. And he's on the road now. He's on the road again. I have a funny Ron White

story. What Ron White story is not funny? I know. He's an enigma. He's a gem. He's an American gem. He is America personified. Truly. Just the way he carries himself, how he drinks, the way his face looks. Yeah, he's had some country miles on that face.

You know what's beautiful about him, too? He didn't really make it until his 40s. And that's the beautiful thing about this career. He was ready to quit. He was ready to quit. Before they took him on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, before Foxworthy called him up, he was living in Mexico. Doing what?

Chilling. Drinking tequila? Probably. I don't know what he was living in Mexico. Doing what? Chilling. Drinking tequila? Probably. I don't know what he was doing. Just making those blood vessels? I know he's told me, but whenever someone tells me that something they're doing that's not comedy, I'm like, mm-hmm. Yeah. In one ear, out the other.

I think it's a beautiful thing, though. Yeah, well, it is for him. I mean, really, it worked out amazingly because he was a comic on the road for years and years, and he just kind of decided, like, hey, this isn't really working out. I think he was still doing a little comedy, like here and there, touring, but then all of a sudden Foxworthy takes him on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, and then everybody else got to see how fucking good he is. There's a bunch of comics like that out there that are like world-class headliners,

but they're just doing clubs everywhere and people don't know. And if they had a real showcase or someone put them in front of Netflix or in some kind of a blue-collar comedy type deal, like that, the world would see. That's why it's important to do what you do. You help your friends.

You are that for a lot of us where you have us come on the podcast and you talk about us and you help us get visibility in this industry where sometimes you can just fall in the mix of everybody else and never be seen like you can fall in the cracks these days because there's no sitcoms anymore no like who's getting on a sitcom and and even if you did how many get on sitcoms you know it's like one out of a hundred right and how many sitcoms are good right right you know what everyone calls you i'm sure i think

we said this before. What? You're like our Carson. Oh, I thought you were going to say bro-bra. I was going to say an asshole. It's an asshole. Have you read the papers? The papers.

Read the papers. My Ron White story. So my brother-in-law and sister were out seeing his show, and my brother-in-law and sister were out seeing his show and my brother-in-law's son wanted a autograph and ron said i don't take i don't i don't do photos with guys i don't do photos or autographs with guys and that pissed my brother-in-law off and so they got into a like a squirmish and fists were thrown they threw punches at each other? Punches were thrown. I think my brother-in-law got hit by one of his security detail. Somebody got punched by somebody. And Ron actually talked about it on SiriusXM.

And he found out that it was my family, but he didn't mention me. I think he was solidarity maybe. I don't know. Maybe he was being a gentleman or just decided not to say. Probably didn't want to drag you into it. And here I am just dragging everyone into it. I just thought it was so funny how random that my family gets into a fist fight with Ron. How crazy is Ron?

I don't take pictures with guys. Right? What is that? You can see him saying it after a couple cocktails. He must have been lit. Oh, he was lit. Maybe the guy had bad breath. Maybe.

Maybe that was just an excuse. Yeah, I don't get close to halitosis. I'm with that. I'm all for that. But also, how tight is your security detail that I was able to get in here with two knives? They're not worried about it. The shoulder width in this place is impressive. A lot of big fellas out there.

There's a lot of big fellas. Just perfect posture. Just double downing on the perimeter. It's like, okay, Steve. Is it bad that that's my prerequisite is to have wide shoulders? I feel like that's bad for birth, though, for my womb. For your vajuju? Why is it bad?

It probably would hurt on the way out. They're little kids. They're little babies. Even babies don't have big shoulders. Okay. Unless you date a giant man. You date one of them, what's his name? Momoa?

Thor Bjornsson. How do you say his name? Oh, God. The mountain. That just sounds painful. You ever seen his girl? Is he bigger than Momoa? He's the mountain from Game of Thrones.

He's enormous. He's like seven feet tall, 350 pounds. Oh, I'm listening. Yes. Where is he? And I bet his baby's about as big as his fucking table. Or the baby's small. And he's got a-

Is that his wife? Yeah, his gal's tiny. Wow, she's teeny. You should see her when she's standing next to him. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. How about that? Ride that dick.

How about that? Do we think it's proportionate? Oh, my God. Yeah, he's a savage. Do we think it's proportionate? Oh my God. Yeah, he's a savage. Do we think it's proportionate? Nature's balanced. He was such a good character in Game of Thrones too. I didn't know that that's who he was.

Yeah, that's him. Okay, so since we're down this road, I'm just going to go full crush mode. I have a crush on David Bautista. Oh, yeah. It's the same vibe. Okay, that makes sense. What do you think that says about me? You're like savages.

You want to get gorilla fucked. same vibe. Okay, that makes sense. So what does that say about, what do you think that says about me that I like- You like savages. You want to get gorilla fucked. Normal stuff. Why is that funny? I want to get gorilla fucked. Yeah, seems normal. Look at him. If I was a chick, I'd want that in me, too. Oh, are you kidding me?

I'm a little confused about the sun around his belly button. Like, hey, buddy. Well, he's from Florida. Isn't he from Florida? Oh, must be. That's a passport stamp. He covered it up with what? What did he cover up with? A skull? Yeah, look, buddy. Isn't he from Florida? That's a passport stamp. What did he cover up with? A skull? Yeah, look.

It's a phoenix. It's a couple crows. That's a skull. He's got a skull over his belly button with 202. What is 202? An area code? Hey, bro. It's the area code of his dick. He was drinking Four Loko when that went down. That's a very Florida vibe, and I'm here for it you know we can we can just ignore that i mean tattoos everyone has

he's awesome in guardians of the galaxy oh he's so good apparently he's not gonna do it anymore what acting no he's not gonna do guardians of the galaxy anymore which is a bummer well until that you know that offer comes through and then you're like well that's what it is yeah maybe i'll come back yeah i'm not doing it anymore. Well, his profile has built, so maybe, you know. He probably wants to do serious acting where he gets to talk. I think he could. He was good in James Bond, too. Did you see him in James Bond?

No. Oh, he killed some guy with his thumbs. Oh, it's like Tate. He grabbed some dude's head and he had these thumbnails. He had thumbnails that were like metal. And he shoves them through this guy's eyeballs and kills them in front of everybody. Spoiler alert. First date material right there. Also, it reminds me of men at nail salons.

They always have one long coke nail. Ah, the coke nail. Is that really necessary? I mean, get a spoon. Right. What are you doing here? What else is in that coke? Gross. What other boogers and fucking dirt? Crust from your pizza from a week ago? If you're going to snort coke do it

off a clean spoon be classy with your cocaine yeah i've never done cocaine good for you me neither really never done coke i've never done any i do shrooms every morning every morning is that crazy no what kind of question is that of Of course it's fucking crazy. I do psychedelic drugs every morning. Is that crazy? No. Microdose. Oh, okay.

Five days out of the week, which is a majority of the week. That's nice. I put them in my, I have like my little mud water. You ever have mud water? No, what's that? It's like a coffee alternative. I can't drink coffee. Why can't you drink coffee?

It makes me manic. Really? Yeah. And I found that like, you know, my dad passed away a few years ago and then my mom ended up passing away in quarantine, which was fun. And so when you're dealing with like grief and all of that, I feel like calmness is vital and finding like a place of calm is vital just so you can like honor those emotions and process the grief and- In a natural in a natural state on shrooms but you know i mean

you're an advocate for i don't have to sit here and like promote shrooms but coffee was fucking me up and i needed something i needed a ritual to like i get it grab a hold to and i was like well i don't really feel comfortable just throwing up shrooms down the hatch at 7 a.m. So I just sprinkled them into my mud water and I was like chill and journaled and meditated every morning. I created this routine for myself that helped me get through losing my mom. Like I, you know, just found a way to process the loss and not have panic attacks along the way because that's what was happening and I think the stress of losing her made me sensitive to the anxiety that sort of can be associated with caffeine yeah and I needed to find something I needed something to help me

be able to function and I don't know maybe maybe that is a coping mechanism maybe I didn't really need to function maybe that was a way for me to like not also grieve but that was just my process well I don't know if you should break it down like that I mean yeah nobody knows how to handle loss you know especially the loss of a loved one it's so confusing it really is because they're just gone right yeah you can't call them anymore they're just gone they're just gone one it's so confusing it really is because they're just gone right yeah you can't call them anymore they're just gone they're just gone and it's like and then you sort of like reach out for ways to bring them back like and i think that's what microdosing it's instead of like going deep into the ether i'm just on the edge of it it and able to open the door and maybe have a conversation

with myself about everything. When Ari was on ayahuasca, he had a conversation with Mitzi. Holy fuck. And he said, I mean, obviously he's tripping balls, right? But he said I had a real conversation with her. Like she was there, I talked to her. It was her, I talked to her. And how is that not healing?

I'm like, what do you think happened there? And he's like, you know, he doesn't't know he's just trying to figure it out but he's like i mean i don't know what to say i don't know what it is but i i was with her and i talked to her didn't talk to anybody else he tried to he tried to call other people right he tried to yeah yeah he tried to call his grandparents or something too and it just didn't work but he got a hold of mitzi somehow or another the line was she's like hold hold on i got hold on i got richard on the other line i got prior on the other line sorry no richard would be there with her that's true oh and sorry i i dream of that you know i've I've never done ayahuasca and I'm almost to the place

where I think I could do it where I won't freak out did you ever meet Mitzi? I never met Mitzi maybe I'll meet her when I trip it's too bad she would have liked you yeah I obviously I hear a lot from you

she would have liked you a lot I would have loved to meet her I She would have liked you a lot. I would have loved to meet her. I mean, I feel like so much of hers was in that place, is in that place. But. Oh, she's the most important figure in all of comedy that's on a comedian. Yeah. Mitzi Shore is number one.

The most important. That's wild that Ari saw and spoke to her. Well, Ari used to work as a doorman at the store and he had a long relationship with her because she didn't pass him as a paid regular forever it took forever for him to get passed and she kept saying you're almost ranting and then one day she passed him and it's just he earned it right he worked for it and it was a big deal for him. He had a relationship with her. He knew her very well. He spent time with her. Yeah. You know?

She's like a den mom for comedians. She's like how there's always a woman who runs a strip club and takes care. It's more than that. I know it's more than that. She was like a queen. Yeah. It was like a queen. Taking care of everybody.

When you saw her, you always went up and gave your respects. There was never a time where you just like passed her in the hallway and said, hey, what's up? There was none of that. There was none of that with Mitzi. Like if I saw Mitzi, I always went up to her and gave her my respects and hugged her. Did she, was it a sort of thing where other comedians who maybe were on the way up didn't have that access to her? Or was she open to everybody or was it something that had to be earned? Oh, she had to like you.

But you didn't get passed as a paid regular. Well, she did pass some people as paid regulars for a goof. She was crazy. Ari talked about it. She thought it like he thought she was trying to drive him crazy. Like she wouldn't pass him, but she would pass people that were terrible. She was crazy. Like she was crazy like a Fox, but she thought it was funny to take people that had fucking zero talent and pass them. I'm sure just, you know, statistically some of them had to work out.

No, no, no. None of the ones that didn't have any talent. There was a lot of them like that. I'm not kidding. There was like for every Ari Shafir or Duncan Trussell or people with talent there was a lot of crazy ones. It didn't make any sense. Like one time my friend Chris McGuire was

auditioning for Mitzi. He was gonna do showcasing for her and you know do an open mic night. And you know, doing open mic night. And when you're doing open mic night, a lot of times they'll have, most of the time I should say, they have a really good comic

who opens the show and warms everybody up and then brings everyone up. So they'll have like, you know, a working professional. So the day that Maguire is supposed to be auditioning, she has this fucking guy who's terrible.

I mean so terrible, it's madness. Like there's nothing there. He never gets any laughs. Not just like he's working at it one day maybe. No! Impossible. Impossibly unfunny. And she would think that that would be funny. I think it's funny just hearing it. So I heard about it and I called up the store and I go, impossible. Impossibly unfunny. And she would think that that would be funny.

I think it's funny just hearing it. So I heard about it and I called up the store. I go, listen, can I host it? And so she let me host it. So I came down and hosted open mic night so that McGuire would have a good set. What year was this? 2003 or some shit. It was like deep into my career.

There's no way I would feel comfortable having you host and then having to follow that. All the comedians having to follow you host? Well, I was like... Pacing the stage like a panther? I wanted it to be at least a fun night for Chris and give him a good introduction and set him up and give him a chance.

But she would do that. She would put people up in the lineup that had no business doing comedy and she'd put them on after like Damon Wayans or something. I think it's genius. She would think it was funny. Well, it's also smart to show the audience

that this is hard. Yeah. It's a very hard career. She would also do that to you. Like if you were good, even if you were good, she would put you on after someone who was a murderer. Well, you have to be humbled.

Yeah. She believed in that too. I know Giannis was here recently and he said something to me that always stuck with me because him and I, we used to date back in the day and he said something I think about when my ego gets too big or I get too low and he said, you're never as good as your, you're never as great as your best set

and you're never as bad as your worst. That's good advice. It's really great advice for a performer and an artist. You've got to find a place where you can sort of levitate in between those two things to keep going and strive to be great but also know that you're not the shit. You know what? Here's

another problem. You think of yourself, you, as this thing that you do. You are not your comedy, but you think of yourself as your comedy. So if you do well, you think you're amazing. And if you eat shit, you think you're terrible and useless, but that's not true. That's one of the reasons why it's important to have other disciplines outside of comedy, because it gives you perspective. It doesn't mean that you don't care about your comedy, but you at least have a more

healthy perspective as to what comedy is. What comedy is, is a thing that you're trying to do, but it's not you. So if you bomb or if you kill, you have achieved a certain proficiency at this thing, but that is not you. Now, if you only look at yourself as the bulk of your accomplishments, that's a problem in and of itself, because what you should look at is all these things that you're doing as little vehicles for your human potential. So whether it's learning how to play a game or learning how to speak a language or write a book or do stand-up or play a guitar all that really is is you trying to figure out a thing but that thing is not you that's a really important thing to have i think outlets so you don't get too wrapped up and that's

probably why we've lost so many people along this road they get so caught up their identity gets interwoven with their performer. Or just with their career. In their career. And sometimes it's not even their proficiency. It's how they're perceived. Yeah. Have you ever seen what happens to people when they used to be really well-regarded

and then it starts to drop off and they start getting bitter and they start attacking people that are well-regarded? It's really sad. It's sad and it's toxic and it's, you know, it's just so apparent what's happened to them yeah they feel diminished and then they look at all the other people that are killing it and they get angry at them and the key that should be me that should be me

why don't i have that anymore there's so many people like that fucking loser out there winning but that's what it is for everybody in, like having other things you're going for is so important aside from being a performer. And I think bitterness does come from a lack of purpose and a lack of contribution. If you're not doing something that is helping other people and being of service to community, you're not going to survive in this world in a healthy way. Bitterness comes from a lot of things. It sure does. It also comes from a lot of things it sure does it also comes from a lack of understanding of how to compete and lose you know there's a thing that comes with like if you do something that's difficult whether it's a sport or anything and you have trials and errors and failures you learn how to accept this whole process of getting better at things some people

never accept that no and that's one of the reasons why like like we all know comics that take like terrible comedians on the road with them yeah so they shine exactly you never grow that's why they do that i have my friend marty caproni's he's a killer and i do that because i don't want to ease in i want to have to work and know and stay on my toes well it's also you want the audience to have a great show. Yep. You want them to enjoy it. And you always said that. I mean, you fucking bring Diaz. Yeah, always.

Cheeto and all these guys who are like so funny and hard to follow. You want somebody hard to follow. Well, more importantly, you want the audience to have a good time. Yes, as well. That's what it is. That part as well. You should be able to follow them. Yeah.

If you're a headliner, Jesus Christ, you should be there already. Yes. But the most important thing is you want the audience to have a good time. Some people just want all the shine. That's ego talking. That's their ego driving the ship. It's insecurity. It is, but that insecurity comes from ego.

That has nothing to do with yourself and the truth. And it also leads to them falling off. Of course. That's one of the reasons why they fall off is because the audience gets annoyed with them after a while. It gets transparent. Yes. They see the weird pettiness and they fall away. Well, there's no authenticity in it.

It's all rooted in fear. And you made a good point. A lot of people have a terrible relationship with loss. If you can strengthen your relationship with loss, you're fortified for life. You're able to tread through hard waters and overcome shit. You know, loss is something we all experience. I mean, fuck. My dad died in 2018.

I'm trying to process it. And then quarantine, they lose my mom. I mean, those are my two most important people. In two years. In two years. And if I can't handle that i'm not going to be of service to anybody i'm not going to be of service to myself or people around me and all i've been doing is learn how to deal with loss and it's such a good point where

it's apparent when somebody has bitterness or something they obviously their relationship with that is so toxic and and it's it just needs to be worked on and it's hard well most importantly it's not good for them no it doesn't help them like the this the one of the things about bitter people is that they they lash out they're upset at other folks that are doing well they're upset at people who are not giving them the recognition they feel they deserve, they're said all these things, but that energy does nothing to enhance what they do. Nothing. It does zero. It does the opposite.

It does. It pulls you back. Yeah, but they don't even realize it. So they're just like flailing like a little kid, but they're like 55. You know, there's a lot of people like that out there. It's the saddest thing. Don't you feel like, you know, I'm 38.

I'm not acting like I've figured it all out and I've got my relationship totally cool with loss in life. But don't you feel like the more you go along in life and the more obstacles you overcome, the people who can't handle it, they just, it's almost like a beacon is shining from them. Like you can see how they're becoming their own biggest issue. it's almost like a beacon is shining from them. Like you can see how they're becoming their own biggest issue. You can see how they're crumbling in on themselves more so than you were before because you've overcome that yourself. Not only that, they can see it too because you see people around them evolving and they're

not, and then they flail harder. That's one of the hardest things of growing and evolving as an individual is people in your life who you love. Who can't get their shit together. Oh love. Who can't get their shit together. Oh, God, who can't get their shit together. And you can't stay back to help them get their shit together. And that's one of the things where people really get caught up

in relationships with friendships and romantic relationships. They try and fix other people's shit because they want to take them with them. You're not meant to take everybody with you along your entire journey in this life you can't you can't but it's so fucking painful to let those people go it's hard it's and i'm sure you've had to do that in your life like you got to cut people loose you got to cut them loose and they're not taking care of themselves you got you talk to them you give them a chance you give them a chance you try but at a certain point in, they're actually using you to stay in the position where they're at. And they want to hold on to you. Like if you're running and they're grabbing your ankles, you got to go, hey, man, stop.

Like leave me alone. You got to stop. And then generally speaking, I changed my phone number. Because I changed my phone number a lot. I was thinking this on the way over. because I changed my phone number a lot. I was thinking this on the way over. I'm like, this motherfucker,

you would think you were on, like in the WPP, like the Witness Protection Program. You're like Henry Hill. Every few months, you're like, hey, what's up, bitch? My new number. I have to.

I imagine you do. At this point, it's getting, I'm on like a six-month cycle, I think. It's smart. You got to shed the dead weight. And not only that, I think the government's spying on my phone. Oh, for sure. For sure, right?

You even say the word Bernie or COVID or vaccine and they're just tapped into you. You know, I was thinking about, I was walking on 6th Street avoiding streetwalkers and zombies. Good luck. They're everywhere. Austin's weird. Austin has a vibe of like a city that's on the glow up, fresh off the heels of a zombie apocalypse. Well, Sixth Street does. But I'll tell you what, it's fun to perform down there because of that reason.

Are you working here this weekend? I'm at the Vulcan on Sunday. Vulcan? I keep saying it weird. Vulcan. Call it whatever the fuck you want. It's your spot. I was at the Red Band last night.

It's right next to the homeless shelter. Oh, that makes sense. I'm like, why are these guys kind of attractive but smelly? I was with Red Band last night. It's right next to the homeless shelter. Oh, that makes sense. I'm like, why are these guys kind of attractive but smelly? I saw a fucking homeless guy the other day who was shredded. He looked like he did CrossFit. This dude had full six pack. He had shoulders, like nice delts.

It's on that street opiate diet. And was walking with like low hanging pants on i was like this guy is jacked yes i want to tell him like bro you got great genetics man if you just really got your shit together really bad economics but great exactly terrible economics wonderful genetics i was dude, you have fucking, if you just had some discipline, you'd be a stud. There are a lot. I saw, now look, I'm coming from LA. So homeless is its own industry in LA. I know.

You know that. It really is. It's its own industry and it's a machine and it's a business. That's my general opinion. Well, you're not wrong. You know, Coleon Noirire do you know who he is a guy who gets you all the things you need no matter what when or time of the day he's a lawyer and a second amendment activist and he uh he was on the podcast and he was explaining to me like we were talking about homelessness like there's not enough money to fix the homelessness he was like i used to think that too and he goes

but then when i was in san Francisco, somebody explained it to me. And what is really going on is the budget for the homeless is fucking astronomical. But he showed us the people that are on the payroll that are making money, that are taking care of the people. $200,000 salaries. $250,000. What? $260,000. That's so-

No bullshit. The juxtaposition. And there's nothing being fixed at all. They're rich and people are homeless. Exactly. They're making a quarter mil a year. And the homeless people are like, nothing's changed. They're in the tents just cooking their cocaine underneath the fucking 405.

But when he showed us all the numbers, we were like, what in the fuck? Really? He goes, yeah. And not only that, watch the budget. He goes, the budget goes up every year. And it's true. The budget goes up every year. He goes, the budget goes up every year. And it's true. The budget goes up every year, but then the homeless numbers go up every year. And obviously, 2020 was a different story.

It changes it. It was crazy. But the reality is, they ain't fixing shit. No. They ain't fixing shit. They bring rations. Yeah, if that. They bring the care.

Fresh noodles. Whatever that program is, the care program. And they bring a place for them to wash up. And they feed them. And they clean up their tents. Good for them. So sweet. But it was cute to see.

You guys had three tents. I saw three tents on the way from the highway. They got rid of a lot of them. Our governor is a bad motherfucker. Are you sparking up? Yeah, why not? I'm so blunt. That's great.

Is it legal? Everything's legal for you. He's just camping on the street. We're talking about that. You and Cam are just shooting bows and arrows from your fucking breakfast buffet. Everything's legal for you. Wait, what I was thinking of as you're lighting this blunt, this is a perfect segue into the thought I was having before we went on our homeless

diatribe. I was walking around the street this morning. Thank you very much. You're welcome. You was walking around the street this morning. Thank you very much. You're welcome. You're walking on the street this morning and you're stabbing people with this knife that you gave me? Yeah, stabbing people with my knife. Does it have any DNA on it? Oh, absolutely. I took a shard of homeless cheek skin and I put it on there for you to put in your petri dish to have it examined.

Nice. I was thinking, I know you and we've been friends. For many years now. Many years and we've had so many conversations one question i was thinking like because we don't see each other as much and we're both so busy and all that um one thing i don't really know about you that i was curious is what is one of the most traumatic things you've experienced in your life like tragic or something that really... Damn, why are you going there? Well, because you just handed me a blunt.

First of all, you did this to us. Yeah, but you immediately went to tragedy. I guess it's you coming off of the loss of your parents. It's exactly what it is. Finding ways to process my own loss through understanding how you're somebody I admire and I look up to you. I admire you too.

Oh, thank you. I do. You're an awesome person awesome person you're such a sweet person you're always nice to everybody i love that about you i got that from my parents well your parents must have been amazing because you from the years all the years i've met you you're always nice you're nice to everybody and if anybody's nice to you you're nice to them back like you don't have enemies if jesse may has an enemy that's my enemy too. That's how I look at it. Like if someone, you hate someone,

like God damn, that person must be a shithead. Yeah, I don't really have a lot of hate in my heart. You're not that person. No. You're a wonderful sweetheart of a person. Thank you.

But. I mean, I drink baby's bloods, but you know, that's just Angelina Jolie's beauty plan and I'm sticking to it. Adrenochrome. Yeah, just a little

sip in the morning i do shrooms mud water and baby blood well maybe the shitty babies have grown up to become serial killers if you guys have a time machine you could see for sure this is ed gain as a baby oh god yeah can you like minority report of like legitimate serial killers you know what the problem with that would be? If you could go, like if you were with a baby and you said because of this baby's life and where he's at, this

baby will one day be a serial killer. I'm just trying to figure out how we got to just being with a baby with the scenario. It's not even your baby. Well, you're at a hospital. Maybe there's some future prognostication tools where they could like zoom in on a baby's brain and see exactly where it's going to go. I mean, there's got to be something to having some sort of consistency with the neurology of serial killers. I think it alters with life.

I think it's many things. And obviously I'm a moronon so I don't really know. You say you're a moron as I'm sitting watching this beautiful sign lit up behind you in this gorgeous building. You are not a moron. I'm definitely a moron. You're a total moron but you're a very smart moron. Compared to smart people you need to trust me. I'm a legit

moron but I have a way of looking at things. I'm a little freer in my associations because I don't worry about being fired. I haven't worried about being fired for a long time. I have a certain freedom in the way I look at things, but that's not intelligence.

My point is that... I don't remember my point. What were we talking about? We were talking about serial killers. Yeah. If you could take that child and raise it differently, would it turn out to be an amazing person? See, like what happens to a person? You know, the concept of determinism. Do you know that over free will? Right.

Free will, meaning that you have control of your destiny. Determinism is like, hold on a second. It's way more complicated than that. Who you are right now is a combination of many factors that are outside of your control particularly when you're a child abuse violence and trauma those shape a child in very horrific ways and neglect one of the things I was I was watching a documentary about the Unabomber and the Unabomber his brother Ted Kaczynski his brother was talking about how when Ted had a condition when he was a child, they brought him to this place to treat him. And he was a baby. And they left him alone for like months.

So during a critical period of his life, like he had no love, no touch of his mother. Like this is like really important stuff. I forget how long the period was. I want to say it was like two months, but even if it was like two weeks, like what does that do to a child? It's got to be detrimental. See if you could find it, Jamie. It was in the documentary that is recently on, I think it was on Netflix. He talked about it, you know, so he lived in this shack in Montana and he would point guns at people and not kill them.

And then he starts writing this manifesto, and then he starts sending bombs to people. But there's so many factors there. Here's one besides the fact that his parents left him in this place. They definitely left him in this place for a period of time that I think was pretty extended. I think it was at least two weeks. It might have been two months. Jesus. He was also part of the Harvard LSD experiment. Oh shit. So in Harvard during the 19, I guess it was fifties.

Not sure when he was going to school at Harvard, they were doing these LSD studies and, um, was it like MK ultra? You don't know. Right. I would say, yeah, no, I don't know. They must've had branches. For sure. They had studies and things helping them fuel their own study. I don't find it time, but this is what it says about it. Okay. When Ted Kaczynski was at a tender age, he got sick and was taken to a hospital with hives or swollen red bumps that appeared on his skin.

His family said he was isolated from his parents as doctor tried to determine what was wrong with the infant. Mom always faulted the hospital. They would have been there every day visiting but the hospital said no. David Kaczynski said in the docuseries, it was kind of like we don't want parents to be in the way. We've got our work to do. We have our little baby to cure, so keep your distance.

They were only allowed to visit him two times a week for two hours. It's insane. I mean, so then you think about us being in quarantine. Are we going to create serial killers? A little bit, but look at the bottom. He'd come out and he'd never been the same after that, she said. So it changed him as a toddler.

So you got that, okay? So this horrific neglect that he experienced as a child through no fault of his own. So free will. We have to look at free will. Like, what does that mean? Are you saying he has free will like this guy with a broken brain because he was ignored as a child? Or people that were sexually abused as children for years and years and years by a close family relative or a family member and no one believes them? That's real too, right?

How much does that change you? Then he goes on to be a part of these fucking Harvard LSD studies. And then you also have to factor in gender. Google that. You have to factor in gender. I'm pretty sure that's true. But, you know, I'm wrong a lot. Don't you think you have to factor gender in a little bit?

Him being a man. Yeah, I'm sure. Anger. He was apparently like super. His brother talked about how he's super angry when a girl would reject him. He would get furious. And I'm sure with testosterone that is affected differently than somebody who's, you know, a female with estrogen being the leading hormone.

Like, there's got to be, that has to factor into it a little bit. Unabomber in the Harvard drug experiment. I mean, you got to admire the outfit, though. That's style. That's me in the airport. Does it say anything in there? The psychology today has it, too. Okay.

What does it say that he was there? Oh, was a part of the MKUltra program. It was. Yeah. So what does it say about Ted Kaczynski? Does it say that in there? I'm 99% sure he was a part of the study. I wouldn't be surprised.

I mean, if fucking Manson was. It's like they had like the NBA starting lineup of serial killers. Just Google Ted Kaczynski. There it is. Analysis of the personality of Adolf Hitler. Wow. And that's the thing. When you think of the circles of psychology and how many overlap,

how many are overlapping with people like Hitler and Ted Kaczynski and all of these? What are those common denominators amongst them? Because that's what we have to figure out is people who study the brain and study behavioral patterns. That's really going to tell us a lot, but you're right. Will and what are the two factors? Determinism or free will.

Free will, right. And I used to think much more that it was free will because I'm a stubborn person. I used to think, fuck you, figure it out, bro. Like when I was younger in particular. I get that. But the more I talk to people that really understand the concept, the more it let me relax my grip on my opinion, which is very important, right? When you have an opinion about something, it's very important to examine how much of a grip you have on this opinion and whether or not this opinion is connected to you judging your own

intelligence are you in a like a game with people where your opinions better than their opinion like are you married to these ideas well it's hard for people as well because a cognitive dissonance like we have a natural reaction to learning new things 100% well we have we like things to fall in line with whatever we've already. Yeah. We're very assumed as our ideas. So this is the study. And it says another ethically problematic.

And this is a fucked up story. Ethically problematic study was conducted by Henry A. Murray. Murray was a professor at Harvard University and had worked with the Office of Strategic Services, the predecessor to the CIA. That was before the CIA. They didn't have a good name yet. Just Strategic Services.

Put it on the door. What sounds better? Central Intelligence Agency or the Office of Strategic Services? Strategic Services is too hard to say. It's so hard to say. It's too cumbersome. Neither of us have said it correctly. We're both I, though.

That's true. Yeah, but Strategic Services? Like if someone's got a gun to your head, what are you doing here? I'm from the Office of Strategic Services. You have two strategic servicemen in your office right now. Yeah, I agree with the name CIA. It's a better name. Okay, so during World War II, he wrote an analysis of the personality of Adolf Hitler Two strategic servicemen in your office right now. Yeah, I agree with the name CIA. It's a better name.

Okay, so during World War II, he wrote an analysis of the personality of Adolf Hitler, which was a psychological analysis of Hitler. Two stoned people. Just come up with a better word. Why psychological so long? The mind analysis of Hitler. It was used by the military. And during this time, he also helped develop tests to screen soldiers conducting,

conducted as tests on brainwashing and determined how well soldiers could withstand interrogations. So what they were trying to do is break people. So they took, this is what's crazy about it. They took these students and they would do things to them. They would interrogate them and fuck with them. And they would also dose them.

And so the interrogation studies, it says, included intense mock interrogations on soldiers as part of assessing the limits of their psychological breaking points. Okay, that's a little perverse. Right. He conducted such interrogation studies on Harvard University undergraduates. Theodore Kaczynski, who later became known as the Unabomber, was one of the 22 participants in Murray's study, subjected to several years of interrogations designed to psychologically break the young man.

So why aren't the people who have run these studies under the same interrogation that the soldiers of World War II were under, where we went after the fucking Nazis. We should be going after people who ran these terrible tests and basically created some of society's most prominent and infamous serial killers. That's a nice

you're right, and it's a nice way of looking at it that he deserves punishment, we deserve revenge, and all that stuff. Not him, the people who drugged him. Yes, and all his victims deserve revenge. But what I'm interested in is that this man, like if karma is real, if that's real, if like what you are today is this long chain of lives that you live that have brought you to this. And you're thinking of yourself in this incarnation because it's the only one you've ever known. But in reality, you're the process of this long line of beings that has gone on since the beginning of life itself.

You have all the ancestry in you. What did that guy do in another life? Think about if that's true. I'm not saying it's true but imagine if it is. Let's just as a thought experiment. Imagine if it is that you're going to come back as a guy who is ignored in this place because they're treating you with some rando

disease that you got that most babies don't get. So you have these horrible hives they keep you in this place where they take care of children for weeks. They don't let you visit them a couple of times a week. Devoid of love. However long they kept him there.

I don't know how, I don't remember. I want to say it was two months. We know your numbers are a little off. It could be an hour. He was there for 45 years. He was there most of his life. They let him out in college. So he gets out of there and then his brother would talk about these moments of rage that he would have that would be terrifying.

And that if a girl rejected him particularly, he would write horrific notes to them, really mean, mean notes. And then this guy goes and does these Harvard studies where they fuck with him relentlessly, and they're trying to break him. It's almost like they knew that this was a guy that was Unusually broken right and susceptible to breaking in the way that would benefit their study And especially like when you think about the male brain and the formative years go well into your into your frickin 20s And you're yeah like 25 to the frontal cortex. I think it's females too. I think maybe you guys are a little quicker. We're a little bit quicker. We're like 18, 19.

But, you know, still like he's on the heels of his brain barely being formed. And they're dosing him with acid and trying to break him psychologically. Yeah, and doing like mocking alone as a child on the playground. Although I do think it's a necessary passage into adulthood is to deal with adversity mocking alone is brutal and then you add it to this study with lsd being thrown into the mix where your brain is not on a solid ground the way it's going to process everything is obviously detrimental to who you become and it changes your it changes your brain chemistry you know i think there's like a problem a real undeniable problem with having secrecy what do you mean if you're

like an organization that has ultimate power like the cia i see what you're saying in the 1950s and you can run these studies and no one knows about them and you're giving kids acid and you're trying to break them it's that's why I said it's perverse. You're trying to do crazy shit to them. Who knows what they did to them? Right. And it's like, is it really for your fucking study or are you guys just bored? Or do you just get to do this?

Right. Is it something you get to do and you're just pushing the ticket because you can and you're funded? That's so demented. I can't believe we're talking about this again, but it's important to talk about right now. There's an amazing book that Greg and I talked about the other day. Fitzsimmons and I talked about it because it was his neighbor, this guy Tom O'Neill. He wrote this amazing book called Chaos.

Chaos, yeah. Did you read it? I didn't, but it's on my list. Holy shit, you have to read it. Yeah. It's so wild. It's about all this. It's about the CIA and Manson.

It took him forever to write that. 20 years. Yeah. 20 years, but he's impeccable. His research is impeccable, and he's brilliant, and he was dedicated and locked in on this subject. You can talk to him about it. I could do

probably three or four more podcasts than I already did with him, and we would only scratch the surface of it. He lived in this for 20 years, and it's all about the CIA's mind control experiments with LSD. They were dosing Manson when he was in jail. I know. It's so crazy.

So it's like- So wild. They literally used him as an experiment. They got him off when he was killing people. Every time he got arrested, they bailed him out and they let him back out and gave him acid. Then showed him how to manipulate people. Showed him how to start a cult.

It was an experiment for them. We should have waited to smoke a blunt. But you imagine the fucking power that you have to have to decide you're going to let people kill people and you're going to let them out and then dose them up and give them more acid and show them how to go and get these hippies and have the hippies start killing people for you.

Imagine you're aware of all this and you're just taking notes right so who's check where are the checks and balances being done for the cia it's kind of the cia is basically the equivalent of the federal reserve when it comes to like the government well you gotta think of them in check you talk about secrecy so that's the biggest issue like shouldn't there be some transparency? There should be. But you can't blame the CIA of 2021 for the shit they did in the 1950s. No, no, no. I agree. Any more than you can blame people that were racist in the 1960s that were trying to stop

the civil rights movement to people that are alive today. It's not you. Yep. But the CIA of the 1950s. Let's just go into the... This is the beginning of it, right? And this is when Kennedy was talking about this shit in the 60s. You ever hear that Kennedy speech

about secret societies? I, maybe. I mean, now that you say it, I feel like I have, but again, you know, our historical classes were bullshit. I don't think I saw that in high school, but maybe on YouTube. Well, believe me, I have a, at most, cursory understanding of Kennedy and

the history of Kennedy. I'm not like a Kennedy. Was he in on all this shit? Like, he knew? Well, he me, I have a most cursory understanding of Kennedy and the history of Kennedy. Was he in on all this shit? Like he knew? Well, he was the fucking president, right? And one of the things that he had a problem with was... One of the things that he had a problem with... Wait, what's a president? They say, and this is one of the conspiracy theorists when they try to figure out who killed Kennedy, they say that he wanted to disband the CIA.

He wanted to break them up. He felt like they had too much power. I don't know if that's true. I don't know. I mean, who knows what really was going on. But if you read a lot of different stories that point to that, it's at least something you should take into consideration.

And his rant about these secret societies was essentially about the dangers of unchecked power Among groups of individuals to get together Like the Illuminati Or like the Skull and Bones That it's dangerous For the greater good of humanity and people And I think he's right

Unchecked power is a huge issue It's fucking dangerous And we got as far from unchecked power As we could to create Not we, obviously the people before us, to create America. The United States of America was the most freedom loving thing that anybody had ever created. But ultimately, if your ideals align correctly with those in power, you'll give them more power so they can go after people that you don't agree with. And before you know it, you got an overlord. And before you know it, you've got an overlord. And that's what we have.

We have dark overlords. We have an overlord. We do. And we're stuck. It's just because that's how people do it. That's how people do it if they don't get checked. And this country worked for a long time, 1776. Almost 300 years we had it down.

Sort of. Not really. Not really. It was kind of a hustle. Every step of the way was kind of a hustle. Have you been listening to that or checked out that book Jacob Dillon told us about? I have not. Is this the book?

Yeah. I have not. It's called Weird Scenes Inside the Canyon about Laurel Canyon. I think this is one of the books that turned Eddie Bravo to the dark side. Oh, God. I've listened to some of it. Eddie Bravo is the dark side. Eddie Bravo loves the whole music in the CIA in Laurel Canyon conspiracy.

But the truth is there's some reality to it. There's 100% reality to it. Like there was LC-induced music that had to do with- That the CIA was very interested in Laurel Canyon. And there was- Look, they, again, unchecked budget. They just killed the president. Can you imagine how ballsy they got after they killed the president? I'm not saying

you guys killed the president. But you know how ballsy they must have got if they did it? Maybe the mob did it. Whoever the fuck did it. Do you know how ballsy they must have got now that Kennedy's gone and Nixon's in office? It's like snagging the hottest chick in the room. You're like, what else is out there? What's next? They have impunity to go crazy and go nuts.

Yeah, they're the top. There's no one to check them. Maybe that's good. Maybe that's bad. impunity to go crazy and go nuts. Yeah, they're the top. There's no one to check them. Right. Maybe that's good and maybe that's bad. Maybe in certain situations there's some branches of the military that were very happy when Trump got into power. Not because they aligned themselves with Trump's philosophy, but because Trump's

take on the military was, I'm going to let them off the leash and I'm going to allow the generals to do what they think they need to do to stop ISIS and stop Al Qaeda and all this. And you go out and you tell me what you need. And the military people that I know were very happy with that. And that was more important to them than anything else. Like regaining some control.

Allowing the people who really truly understand war to have the freedom to go after what they believe are the bad guys. Now, there's a lot of other arguments you can have about that, like who's really the bad guys, how they get to be the bad guys, are we sponsoring these bad guys to make sure we have bad guys? All those things notwithstanding, on the side of the soldier, I can understand why they would want someone who backs them up. Yeah, somebody who understands what they're going for and somebody on their team. Having the power dispersed creates a healthier, balanced society. It can't come from one person. See, the thing is, when you have enemies, then you can have secrets.

I mean... Because you have to hide the secrets, otherwise the enemy's going to find out about the secrets. And there's so many fucking secrets. Oh, if you're dealing with a government as big as 320 million people, so you've got a group of folks through no fault of their own. Whatever, they got to the position where they're the

Speaker of the House. They're running the fucking, they're running Congress. They're a senator. They're a vice president. They're doing this thing. You know how weird it must be to be the vice president? It's gotta suck. You're just waiting for that guy to die.

But you're not even. A little bit. You're realizing you don't want the job. Yeah, the job is very hard. While you're walking around as the vice president, you're probably walking around going, fuck this job. My job is the shit. It's probably the best job.

No one even knows if I'm around. A vice president could just go fishing, and unless he tells someone, they don't even know. A vice president has weekends. Dude, if Kamala harris just jet just jet it just didn't say shit just didn't show up for a couple weeks how long before they would say anything i probably sooner than we think okay maybe with her because biden might die at any moment but if you went to like bush and cheney that's a different scenario gone for months yeah yeah yeah he was how about fucking daniel quayle? Daniel Quayle in the old bush?

Daniel Quayle could be on a fucking island somewhere for half a year. No one would even notice it. I just want a soundbite of you going, how about fucking Daniel Quayle? How about fucking Daniel Quayle? That potato guy. Couldn't spell potato, by the way. Neither could I. I probably would have put an E on the end of it, too. You're right.

Unchecked power is a shifty bitch. It's dangerous for all human beings. It's fucking dangerous. Do you think we're the nation with. Unchecked power is a shifty bitch. It's dangerous for all human beings. It's fucking dangerous. Do you think we're the nation with the most unchecked power? No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not even close. No, no.

We're way less restrictive than a lot of other countries. We're way less restrictive on our people than China. We're just going in a bad direction. We're going in a direction where there's people that have ideological differences with other people and because of those ideological differences they're willing to support a totalitarian government going after those people and silencing them. They're willing to give the government the power to silence people you disagree with politically it's so dangerous it's so dangerous because this could be this now they could go over to the right and then

they'll cancel all the people on the left and start silencing them for liberal views do you know how crazy people would get if someone out of the Trump was in charge of Facebook and Trump was banning Rachel Maddow and all these liberal commentators, banning them off of Twitter for saying bad things about him, banning him off of these social media networks. People would lose their shit and rightly so. Well, that's how people feel right now when people are getting removed from these networks. Even if you disagree with them. There's an overwhelming need to have discourse. It's the only way you figure things out. And as soon as you step in, as soon as you step in like that, you say, like, Facebook

is not, it's not a house party, okay? It's all the people in the country. You know, it's not like you have a board meeting and you don't want someone coming into your board meeting and and fucking it up and and being a pain in the ass that's not what facebook is facebook is all the people yeah but it fucks up with our need for tribalism and it's our like egotistical need for individuality and our like historical and evolutionary need to be a part of a tribe are really the two things that are fucking it all up well we survive in our own little teeny echo chambers and everything that revolves what we think we keep and everything that

deflects our opinions we shut out and so it's it's almost isolating people and creating these like heightened mobs of mentality that have nothing to do with a whole growth of people or people actually having, like you said, discourse. Discourse is that's what we are missing. We need to have difference in conversation and be up against an opinion that has nothing to do with our own. How do you, you can't grow without that. I mean, Thanksgiving dinner with families is what's missing in this country. We need to have, we need drunk uncles. You just took the words out of my mouth. I was just going to say. We need Archie Bunker. America can't handle Archie Bunker.

I'm like drinking a scotch. Like we need this. We do. We need drunk uncles. And I'm telling you, man. You just can't handle Archie Bunker. I'm like drinking a scotch. Like, we need this. We do. We need drunk uncles. And I'm telling you, man. You just can't. You can't treat something as big as Twitter the same way you would treat a local bar. No, you can't.

But you know what I'm saying? It's the nature of social media. You know what I'm saying? Like, someone can say it's a private business. If you have a local bar and some guy comes in, he likes to whip his dick out and piss all over the counter. He's throwing glasses around. You got to kick him out. Dad.

You got to kick him out of the bar. You got to kick him out. But something as big as YouTube or as big as Twitter. Like these are massively influential forces in the world where you've got untold millions of people that are using them simultaneously. Right. Because if a drunk guy at the bar doesn't get broadcasted out to a whole population. And if someone's doing something that's not a crime, it's not a crime. They're not harassing someone or doxing them. They're not putting their phone number and their address out.

They're not doing anything that we all agree is untasteful, rude, evil, whatever. If they're not doing that, you got to leave them. You got to let them talk. But they don't do that right now. So because of that, people are scared of expressing themselves. So self-censorship moves the way they communicate and builds the resentment. Right. And the energy that's being shoved into our bodies, where's that going to go?

Well, if you're... Energy is your... What's going on? Look at your dog. He's like, what is happening to my mom? Your dog's like, what is happening?

I'm fine. I'm fine, Chaplain. Everything's fine. He's going to bite me. It's totally fine. I just think like... He's so cute. There's going to be a lot of energy that people are storing because they can't say how they feel.

Well, for sure that's true. You're talking about Ted, what's his fucking name? That guy? Tell everybody your dog's name again. Chaplin. He's a little fucking, oh, he's a piece of shit. He's so cute. He's adorable.

He's really quiet. He's a little sweetheart. He is. A sweetheart chihuahua, which is hard to find. And he was a street dog, right? Yeah, he's a street dog. Street dog to feet dog. Now he's all living the fancy life.

Mission Viejo is where I got him. He caught a nice break. Oh, he got a sweet break. Are you kidding me? That's why he's quiet. You know who else got a sweet break? Eliza's dog. You ever meet Eliza's dog?

She got a new one? She has an adorable dog. I just saw her a couple weeks ago. I think it's called Tofu. She called him To got a sweet break? Eliza's dog. You ever meet Eliza's dog? She got a new one? She has an adorable dog. I just saw her a couple weeks ago. I think it's called Tofu. She called him Tofu. Tofu? Yeah. He called him Tofu.

Her voices. She does so many voices. I think it's a her. Has a line around her snout where she was bound with a wire. See? She has a scar around her nose. She doesn't know if she was a dog that was intended to be eaten or like what was going on to her that they did that to her. That's why you should be snatching up people who do that to animals because that's indicative of serial killers.

Well, it is. It's a very consistent. Jeffrey Dahmer, that was one of the things they found. He was doing that to animals when he was young. And it's like I was saying with Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber, you were saying there's a lot of factors that go into creating somebody like that. Yeah. One of them has to be, to your point of people harboring resentment and the needle being changed because of censorship and all this shit. Where does all that energy go?

That's going to change behavior. Us not being able to have an outlet where we're not going to get fucking arrested or publicly demonized for having a difference of opinion, that energy goes somewhere and it creates toxicity within an individual. That's why people get so upset about these social media algorithms because they think that, and I don't think it's even on purpose. I think they found out what people engage with and whatever that is, then they accentuate that. And what people tend to engage with is conflict. Oh, yeah. People love conflict.

Yeah. They tend to engage with things that they find outrageous, like some new law that the libs are trying to push. Oh, what the fuck is this? You fucking communist. And they get angry. You look like you just came. I made of. Made of. Is that a word like you just came i made of made of

is that a word made i made of they uh they'll engage for much longer if it's something that they get upset by but it's not necessarily facebook's fault that human beings get upset by that it's like a chicken and the egg situation exactly i mean you look at cinema anything every scene in a movie is based off of conflict yeah everything our conversation podcasts are interesting because of conflict conflict drives humans to explore themselves and explore conversation it's it's the source of everything i mean look at creation the very creation is conflict nature yeah all of that i, it's the source of life. And so we're naturally drawn to it. So I can understand where it might just be human nature to be argumentative.

But in the algorithm, like what is it? Is it the algorithm? Is it us? Is it just a bad social media? Is it just a bad combination of the both? The algorithm is immoral. It's not immoral. Excuse me.

It's amoral. Exactly. It's not thinking about that. It's just like, well well what's the way to get the most amount of clicks if we got the most amount of clicks from love it would that's what they would accentuate that's what facebook because they're in the business of getting clicks so we're the fucked up ones well it's just natural if you think about human history it's filled with invasions of tribes invading other tribes genocide and rape and murder and war, war, war. There's never been a time where there's no war.

It's destruction. There's never been a time in any human being's life where there wasn't some killing going on. It's never ended. Like if you think about other animals, it's so much rarer that they kill each other. Well, not the way. We do it for sport.

Animals do it for survival. Well, we do it for resources. Actually, now I'm thinking about it, there's quite a few animals that kill each other. Aren't there a couple predatory animals that do it for fun? I feel like there's definitely... They kill babies. They kill male babies to stop the male babies from becoming eventual challenges to them.

That's one of the things that happens in the lion world all the time. Like a male lion will come in and once he gets a lion out he'll fuck up the old male lion and then he'll kill all his kids all the boys kill all the boys doesn't want any challengers it's nature nature's evil right and the whole idea is you can't have too many of those either right just like you can't have any too many gazelles you can't have too many lions it's many lions right so there has to be some way that they keep that in line and one of the ways is two things work in conjunction with each other that you have this hyper aggressive alpha cat who doesn't necessarily even hunt that much really the females do most of the hunting the

male's whole deal is just protecting the females from other males and hyenas and shit. That's the whole deal. And he'll only do it for a little while. Then eventually another male figures out he can't do it anymore and fucks him up and either kills him

or kicks him out of the tribe like badly, badly wounded. Those fights are horrific because other lions jump in when they realize that the big king is going down and they'll tear their legs apart. They bite their legs. They bite their dick.

They bite their balls. It's horrible. They bite dick? Bite dick. A lion biting another lion by a dick while the other lion's biting his feet. I did that in my 20s. I bet you did. You went to college.

Never foot a couple dicks. This is part of like being a thing we we and we this is the only time ever in history that we figured out a way to protect ourselves from most of that stuff right we don't have like predatory interactions we don't have nearly as much invasions as we've had in the past if you look like the the like a chart of progression of like violence it keeps dropping it's lower and lower and lower. So we're trying to find our conflict through these engagements online. Yeah, it's become our own way of war.

And I think about the checks and balances in nature as you're talking, like how nature just sort of, she corrects herself. Yeah, for sure. She finds a way to correct herself. She's got a balance to it all. She has a balance going on, and we look at it as infringement on our existence, but she's just keeping herself in check. And I keep thinking, is it our ego that throws all of it off, all of it off on Earth? No, no, no.

You know why? But what about war, and what about the Industrial Revolution? Why did we need to create such big fucking buildings? Because we're super complicated. That's's why but why are we super complicated because we are this is because we change culture we change society we change the literal face of the earth but as humans we move our environment around but that's what differentiates us do creatures have egos the way we do i don't think they do no no they don. So I think the ego is the source of it. They have some self-preservation or some belief in themselves that they should be the one that's breeding with the female lions, not that other asshole.

And they want to take over. But it's some weird hierarchy instinct. It's their time to make their move and take their chance. But even with that, there's a balance in that. But they can't do what we can do. There's no chimps going on fucking Instagram. There's no chimps that are like adding lipstick. They have like these natural colors

that just sort of evolve and make them attractive. I think humans have this extra level of ego and maybe it's an accident. Maybe it's purposeful. maybe we'll never know the real reason, but when you look at the way nature can kind of get herself back on axis, I think the way it gets thrown off is always us. Somehow it always comes back on us. Right, but I think that that's what we do.

Just like birds swoop into the river and pick up salmon, like an eagle picks up a salmon, that's what I do just like birds swoop into the river and pick up salmon like an eagle picks up a salmon that's what i think we do what i think we do is usher in this electronic life some new life form that's what i literally think that we are working to if you think about what people have said this before i know so i'm sorry if you heard it before. But if you looked at life from somewhere else, if you add a completely objective look at human life and you're watching Earth, you'd be like, whoa, look at this thing. Like everything else is kind of crazy. You got, you know, sharks and crocodiles and kangaroos and wild animals. Wow.

Look at all these creatures. But then you got this one motherfucker that makes nuclear bombs. You got this one motherfucker that wants a new TV every year. What's the newest shit? No, no, no innovation I'm talking about every year. You need a faster phone. You need a faster computer a lighter laptop You need a car that goes faster You need a fucking plane that gets you to London in 13 seconds. Every year it wants to get better and better and better and better and better. Well, what is it doing?

If you weren't wrapped up in our culture and the way we think about things and you just looked at the process, you'd be like, oh, it makes stuff and it keeps making better stuff. It's trying to make the ultimate thing. That's what we're trying to do. And all of our materialism is the best way to fuel. Because we constantly need to keep up with the Joneses. Look at her phone. She's got a phone from 2016.

It has the lines on the bottom. What a loser. What is that, an iPhone 6? How do you eat? Right? Right? But meanwhile, it's fucking fine. It takes pictures.

It's a whole universe in your pocket. It was amazing in 2016. It took pictures. We're obsessed with innovation. You send text messages. It takes pictures. It's a whole universe in your pocket. It was amazing in 2016. It took pictures. You send text messages. You answer email. It does everything you need it to do. But when that 13 comes out, you're going to be waiting in line. Get the 13. It doesn't have a notch. The 13 doesn't have a

notch. And you're fucking waiting for that face ID. Where's the camera? Who knows? I'm just staring at my phone. I can't even see the camera it's behind the screen this is crazy we're looking for each step of innovation that literally is almost meaningless in our overall life but we focused on it like the new Tesla Jamie and I were talking about it the new Tesla plaid is so ridiculously i have a tesla s it goes zero to 60 in 2.4 seconds it's crazy it's so fast this new one 1.9 seconds i mean does it so i'm saying to jamie i'm saying

to jamie i'm like you're gonna get it he's like my fucking car is pretty fast like why do i need it to be fast i'm like yeah why do we need faster? Because it can be. But that's what people do. It can be faster. I think we're going to make artificial life. Like, artificial life that is undetectably artificial. That would be the key. Like Ex Machina. This bitch. Have you seen whatever her name is?

Olivia? Ex Machina. That movie? It's going to be like that. It's going to be ultimate life form that is not made out of cells anymore. And it ends up murdering its creator. Or it just lets it die off like a bunch of fucking idiots. Like we let the Neanderthal die off. Like, yeah, they're here.

Figure it out. What would you rather be up against, a Neanderthal or an AI? A Neanderthal. We already beat them. Yeah, but I mean. We're here because, first of all, they're my people. They are, like literally. A lot of Neanderthal of all, they're my people. They are, literally. A lot of Neanderthal. So you guys

killed my people. Are you triggered? You need a support group. Second of all, they already know they could kill the Neanderthals off. That's easy. I think it's Thal again. It used to be Tal. They were going with Tal for a while. Now they're saying Thal again. I kind of like Tal, Neanderthal. But I grew up with Neanderthal.

I still would be kind of freaked out against a Neanderthal. But I grew up with Neanderthal. I still would be kind of freaked out against a Neanderthal. Well, they were like- Brute force. They were weird, right? Their bones were way different. I feel like they could just murder you with their brow bone.

They were big, thick fucks. Like they were an average, I think they were an average of like five foot six and they weighed north of 200 pounds. They were weirdly shaped. So basically what I'm looking of 200 pounds. They were weirdly shaped. So basically what I'm looking for. Yeah.

They were weirdly shaped. You know, they like their bone. If you pull up Neanderthal bone comparison to Homo sapien bone, because there's a bunch of pictures on Google, and that's when you really get a chance to say, oh my God, if you had a fight in Neanderthal, you'd be fucked. Wouldn't it be funny if you just pulled up the same photo from before, that guy and his girlfriend?

Which guy and his girlfriend? The big-ass dude you told me about. Oh, no, he's way bigger than a Neanderthal. He's a Viking. They would have crushed Neanderthals. The guy's 350 pounds. It's just, how do you- Vikings.

I don't even know how to ride that. You wouldn't know how to ride it. I don't have the hip strength. So look at the difference in the bones. That's hard to tell from that image. Yeah, I mean- But there was a- Okay, that's a much bigger skull.

Yeah, the skull's way different too. And the jawline, that's a thick jaw. That motherfucker could take a punch. Yeah, look at the brow bone. Yeah, it was a crazy difference. It was a much more robust animal. That literally looks like you and Jamie below there. It looks like Jamie for sure.

It looks like you and Ari Sh shafir they're just different click on that one in the middle right next to your cursor right click on that one how wide so you get a chance to see what the skeleton looked like it was crazy they're wide as fuck but they didn't make it what what made it was better more creative brains, better organization, and a better ability to construct tools, I think. And then we probably fucked them into existence. Because that's how I'm here. I'm part Neanderthal, part of me. So somewhere in the past,

someone either fucked a Neanderthal or Neanderthal fucked them. Is that porn available? I think just something you have to think about? I think you can get that online. They wear masks too. Neanderthal pandemic porn. The furry thing. I bet they have that. There's got to be.

Oh, yeah, for sure. It's probably like caveman pandemic porn. If you can think of it, somebody's like, hey, bro, we're running out of things to fuck with. I got it. Listen. Hold on. What if you took a fucking Neanderthal and you brought him to 2020 in mid-COVID?

Bro, spark a fire in a real cave, bro? Yes. That production value? Yeah, but he only fucks outside with a mask on. And there's just grunting. We don't even need to write a script. Right. There's grunting.

Yeah, a lot of grunting. Hair pulling. He pulls her into the... Actually, it's kind of hot. One day. Just like a caveman pulling her in. You're going to be able to smell your TV. That's going to happen.

You're going to get smells. We're going to be upset. We're going to get to the point where, hey man, you keep innovating every year, but where's the smell? I see, I hear, I want to smell it. It's like, remember Willy Wonka? Yes, I do remember. In the smell-o-vision.

Yes. Why couldn't you do that? Is that Smell-O-Vision? Those are... They've been saying that for a long time. Tell me they don't like children. I feel like we've talked about this a long ass time ago. Smell-O-Vision!

Did we? Maybe, I don't know. I think we did. It was... Look, see, there it is. Right there. Presented in Smell-O-Vision, 1965. Jamie, you see the yellow font?

I know, that's why. I just typed in Smell-O-Vision. But look, it says April Fool's Day. But that one,'s why I just typed in Smell-O-Vision. But look, it says April Fool's Day. But that one, that's Willy Wonka right there when it says presented in, yeah, that's a Willy Wonka. Look. But look how it says April Fool's Day. See that?

The best TV pranks. See that part? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you got to read the whole thing. Oh. But the idea is a great idea. But that guy who had that machine, I think that seems more likely that he was actually trying to do it. They have that at Disneyland.

Oh, yeah, they do, right? You ride the rides. Like that one beautiful ride where you're doing like a, it's great to be on shows. Small World? Is that it? Oh, no. This is a, I don't even know what it's fucking called. It's like you get in this thing and you go up and it's like an IMAX and they take you over the Alps and you go over the-

Oh, yeah. Soaring. Soaring over the world. That's amazing. Douche rooms. And they have smells. Yeah. You can smell like-

That's it. Oh, it's so much fun. It's so much fun. If you're a little stoned, you can smell the ocean and the trees. I've done it sober. Good for you. It's enjoyable. Congratulations.

It's enjoyable sober as well. Of course. Good for you. It's okay. I've done it sober. Good for you. Congratulations. It's enjoyable sober as well. Of course. Good for you. It's okay. I'm sober in Disneyland. What an asshole. Was that the one thing you did sober? I have kids. That's true. I can't be too fucked up around kids. You gotta be real careful with the dosage

when you have little ones because you don't want to be too terrified. But doesn't an element of it make you play more oh for sure yeah and more curious is about how they think about things that's a great way to look at it that's the good one like you have conversations with them you try to get to like instead of being like annoyed you like have conversations with them about stuff that doesn't make any sense at all are you scared to be a dad of girls? Like what's the scariest part of it? Um, well, I think something in your life that feels more valuable than your own life to you.

Like I used to have a joke was it was really kind of true. like I used to have a joke was it was really kind of true it was like that this is the difference that I value my child's happiness more than I value my own and my example was like if I had two bananas and one of them was brown and fucked up and the other one was perfect and yellow I'd be like I really want a banana but my daughter likes banana so i'll eat this fucked up banana but if it's just me and my wife i'd be like oh i guess that bitch is getting a shitty banana i'd be like peeling that beautiful yellow banana i'm like oh you fucked up you should have been here earlier if it was like my best friend I'd be like bro look who's got a nice banana

you want a piece? I'll give you a piece I'll give you a bite you want a bite? you can't have the whole banana I just can't that was the bit that was fucking funny but there's some truth to that in that I really would do almost anything

to make her happy is that the first time you've ever felt that selfless in your life i mean it's it's evolving like i'm getting more and more selfless with other stuff too but you don't um you don't see it the same way or i didn't see it the same way until i had children and then see this is what the big shift was the big shift was I started looking at everybody as a baby wow when once you had kids once I had kids it made you compassionate and have some empathy way more empathy way more compassion and it made me not even feel angry at people that I don't get along with, like people that I like genuine feuds with or hates or hate in the past. I look at babies now and I look at people very, very differently. I look at them

like a baby that grew up and I'm like, okay, look at Ted Kaczynski. Is it fucking really his fault that he became that guy at the end? We have to pay attention to exactly what happened to him. That's why that conversation of determinism versus free will. Sam Harris was the first person to really lay it out for me. And the way he laid it out, I was like, oh, yeah, of course. Once you start really considering it, you go, oh, of course. It's not as simple as get your shit together. What you need is fucking good work ethic and free will.

Everybody needs that. But you also need to catch a good break and get a good pathway into the river. And love. Yes. The basic needs as a child. All those things. You need those things. All those things are part of the good break.

So many factors. Yeah. So many factors. And here's another factor. Maybe a little bit of ignoring you isn't always bad for you. Well, it creates a drive. Look at you. a hat for you well it creates a drive everybody that i know that's fun everybody they know that's fun has some fucking wacky childhood you know what's

that wasn't that pleasant i read brian cranston's autobiography, A Life in Parts. And I happened to circle a chapter where he wrote about childhood neglect. And as I do with books, I highlighted that chapter and just left it at my house, at my mom's house, didn't think anything of it. And she happened to read the book, but she also saw where I circled the chapter about neglect. And it opened up a conversation between her and I and her saying, I'm sorry if you felt that. I never meant you to feel that as a child. I saw that you, you know, dog-eared this section where you felt like there was some neglect. And that is, it's such a huge factor in growing up. And it's minuscule.

And it's not like it's something that necessarily parents intend or do in a malicious level it happens being a parent i would imagine i'm not one but it's got to be fucking hard i've seen my sister juggle two kids through losing both of our parents and her maintain elegance and grace through it it's got to be fucking hard some neglect is is probably just expected and so you know to have that be a situation where my mother actually was like yeah i think i did that and i'm sorry but i was like bitch i got a career out of it like i'm cool but yeah i think we all have to look at it in perspective and this is a perspective that we have to look at it in perspective. And this is a perspective that we have to look at it in. My parents were the children of immigrants. So my grandparents on both sides, my mom's side and my father's side, they all came from Europe. They came from most of them from Italy, one of them

from Ireland. My grandfather was from Ireland and they all came over here as immigrants in the 20th century. And they had kids. And the people that came over here were wild folks there were wild folks who took a chance on a fucking boat ride and they couldn't even watch a movie on it they couldn't watch a youtube video on it right maybe they saw a newspaper article in black and white you have to understand it wasn't rendering right there was movies back then but they were silent like you had to understand what the fuck was going on when those people came over here. Right. When those people came over here, the world was a wild place.

And then before their time, even wilder. Before any movies, before any radio, you have to understand, that's our great-grandparents. My great-grandparents, when they were born, there was no nothing. There wasn't nothing. You know, maybe there was some, like, very primitive, crude automobiles that someone had invented. You go before their time, you go their grandfather or their father, you're dealing with horses. And cave drives. That is so recent.

That's so recent. It's within 100 years. And I think this is the first generation or our lifetime, the people that are alive today, not generation, but era. Let's call it era. This is the first era where people have had a chance to really reflect and think about what has happened that has allowed us to become what we are today. And how many steps were involved in that. And how much of it was, you know, kind of out of your control. And how much of it is not good. And how much of it was you know kind of out of your control and how much of it is not good and how much of it is good and like what how do you mitigate this need for

a certain amount of conflict because that conflict develops character and you need character how do you mitigate with that with preserving someone's life and taking care of them and keeping them happy and healthy and not having them stressed out. How do you balance those two out? I don't know. I don't know how you do it. I think we're figuring that out. But I think we have to realize that this is the first time in our, you know, between the 20th and the 21st century,

this is the first time where people are really considering it and trying to figure it out and doing it actively, learning in real time in front of the whole world. So what our parents did and our grandparents did, it's not even their fault. They were savages. They were savages. They were wild fucking people. It wasn't that long ago.

People were wild as fuck. I feel like our ability to learn, ironically, is a little bit more difficult now. ability to learn ironically is a little bit more difficult now we have access to it but there's a certain level of like this guy you're familiar with jim quick no he's an amazing um educator and talks a lot about how to you know live a limitless life and he talks about digital dementia how with social media because we're inundated with so much information and so many new ideas and topics that it's a little bit harder to retain all of that and it's a little bit harder to remember things and a little bit harder to like grasp on to ideas and new things because

we're constantly getting new stuff it's it's it's refreshing itself so much that almost our ability to hang on to how things were done and what people did before and even the idea of people coming over on a ship to a country that they had no means to know what it looked like is escaping our brain because we're getting, we're refreshing. I mean, think about your Instagram page. You scroll. There's your friends have new posts every day. Even just in your friend's life, you're learning new things, let alone like what's going on a societal level or on like a worldwide level I feel like the juxtaposition of learning new information versus our ability to just forget everything we've learned is the difficulty for us to sort of have a basis in a in a some sort of

like a equilibrium within all of it. Like having like a foundation to sort of sift through everything and remember where we came from and also learn new things. I feel like social media kind of makes it difficult to do all of that. You know, I, I grew up in an analog world and grew up in a era where I didn't have really a computer at my house and I should know that we came over on boats. I fucking forgot about it. I just assumed they knew what America looked like. I assumed that they're coming over on ships

and they had an idea of where they were going because of where I am now. And I'm not somebody who was born into a world where I had a cell phone in my face as a young teenager. So what is that doing to people now? Basically, I guess my point is, is history just going to get lost in all of this information we get every day? Because it's not really teaching us to retain a lot. We have to do that ourselves.

Our ability to retain has to come from our own discipline, because this is not a retention tool. This is just a tool of information. This is what i think i think we are comparing our own growth and our ability to adapt with the ability of electronics to adapt the the ability the electronics have is staggering if you looked at an iphone one what was that shit 11 years ago or something it was a great 2010 it was the x right it was 10 right jamie was it how's your sciatic something? It was a great one. 2010 it was the X right? It was 10 right? Jamie was it? How's your sciatic Jamie? What was the first iPhone? 2007. 2007 was that what it was?

2007 I think so. That was the X was that when it came? So 2017 did it come out on the? Oh. Was that when it came out? I think so. Because it was the X right? It was the 10 year anniversary.

So let's just think of that the way that has progressed from the smartphone from 2007 to the smartphone from 2021 and not just apple i thought do you see those fucking pictures i took my samsung phone unbelievable i can't i mean but you see what tim dylan put up what'd he say no what he said i didn't see it at all Oh my god I didn't see anything I know you want to say it Please put it up Put it up Don't say anything

So it was It was on the heels Of Joe posting right Jamie I'm sure he did Yeah I text him And I message him

Once in a while Just say how necessary He is for life Oh he's one of my Favorite humans Can I have some more ice Yes for sure I'm going to take

A couple of your cubes He's one of my Favorite humans He brings me So much joy Yes He's so fucking funny And so necessary He's so unique He's so fucking funny and so necessary. He's so unique.

He's so unique and angry. He has a unique perspective in comedy, like his take on things. Read the caption. This is a photo of inside my asshole taken with my Google Pixel 5. What an amazing phone.

Okay, I did see this. I forgot. I saw that. I just, honestly, we need people like him. Well, he's got such an interesting tape because he looks like a Long Island Republican, but he's gay. He's brilliant. And people, they hear him talking, they expect, like, this blue-collar take on things.

But it's, like, this intense, nuanced, really funny, and he's always going for the humor. Always. He's a real comic. He's amazing. I think he's a very important voice. Not only because of what he has to say, but because of what he represents

and how he looks. He breaks so many stigmas. He's a one of a kind. He's a fucking unicorn. He's a real unicorn. He's so intelligent, and his use of satire and sarcasm goes over so many fucking people's heads. He's changing

minds, and they don't even know it. Did you see that world star hip-hop posted his thing of a hot mic at the Olympics? It became world news. He pretended. He changed. He put it up. But they put it up like, oh my God, somebody's in trouble. Someone's in trouble.

And they decided to put that. They played it. Folks, if you haven't heard it, go Google it. It's genius. Hot mic at the Olympics. Called it his, what did he say? It was his. Want to play it?

You should. We should play it. Play it. Play hot mic at the Olympics. He said, this is mine. Welcome to the 2021 Tokyo Olympic Games and take a look at these beautiful non-traditional opening ceremonies. Am I off?

Jesus Christ, this is a fucking disaster. We just spoke to a chief medical examiner. They said 60% of people in the stadium will be dead within 10 days. They're thinking of using this swimming pool as a mass grave. Did you know that? Yeah, they're just going to start burning bodies. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck they'll do. They'll make sushi out of people.

I don't even know why we're here. People are already dying. They're covering it up. One of the shot put guys is on a ventilator. One of those big hulking swimming dykes is dead. It's fucked. The whole thing is fucked. Look at this bitch.

God. What is this country? Enough already. Is this a cast of hamilton when are we back when am i back on welcome to the 2021 first of all can we on a real level on a real level can we talk about the balls it takes to not just to put it out yeah and let it go yeah the and that's like we need someone like him this is why this is so important for censorship and what's happening with shutting our voices and people having like differences of opinion this type of comedy well here's what's

important why do we accept stuff like that in a movie and we know that in a quentin tarantino movie a woman didn't just get really shot in the face. A guy didn't really just get hit by a car. We know that it's not real. So we accept it because we're being entertained. Are we trying to pretend that these are his real thoughts on things? What are we pretending? This is a real hot mic?

People are. People want to. It's fucking phobic. Well, people do when it comes to comedy. He wrote on Twitter, they're saying this video isn't real. What are they afraid of? But then he said, this is my, what did he say? This is my greatest legacy or something.

Something like that, yeah. He just reposted this just a little bit ago. This is like my, I forget what he said, like my opus. He said something about it being like his greatest. Magnum opus? Yeah something like that. I'm gonna have to put that on my Instagram later. It's so fucking funny and the anus really got me.

Can I urinate? Can I pee? Yeah yeah go pee. He's an animal. Fact check. Video claiming NBC producer Ricardo on hot mic. Fact check. Who's doing that? USA Today. USA Today fact checked his video. It got everywhere. It went everywhere. Jesse May is going to pee and we'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.

Keep it together. I have never had this much scotch in my life. Wow, it's only been two glasses. You liar. You're a dog. Can I just tell everybody what your dog did? So when Jesse May went to pee, I'm sorry, what's his name again? Chaplin.

Chaplin, sorry. Chaplin. Chaplin was like staring at the door. Like, where's my mama? Where's my mama? he may went to pee um i'm sorry what's his name again chaplain chaplain sorry chaplain chaplain was like staring at the door like where's my mama where's my mom just waiting for you all right so i got down on the ground i was petting him and he was like accepting my pets but he was like oh yeah it's so different like my dog is everybody's best friend because he's been with me since he was a baby that non-loyal bitch so he thinks everybody loves him but your dog has felt abuse oh yeah it's like super connected to you your dog's been neglected like look at him he doesn't not look at you he knows that i'm here

and he knows that jamie's here but he looks at you that's all three of my dogs are like that yeah it almost makes it a little bit easier to train them. I can walk them all off leash. They're all like a little bit extra needy. And it's just a little bit easier. Do you walk him off leash?

Yeah. Not in the streets. You know, I'm not playing Frogger on 6th Street in Austin. It's coyotes that I worry about. Yeah, well, you know,

everyone needs a snack. Survival of the fittest. I mean, you better fucking, you better step up your game, Chaplain. How rude. You better step up

your damn game. How is Marshall adjusted? Marshall's become a squirrel predator. That's all he wants to do. He doesn't catch any of them, by the way. He just gets out there

and stares at them in the trees and fucking sniffs the trees and runs around it's like a video game for him squirrels and lizards the other day i caught him with a turtle i go what are you doing man he's like fucking digging in the ground i go what the fuck stop stop stop stop stop that's a turtle man come on don't be an asshole are you hunting out here? I see you shooting bows and arrows in your backyard. No, no, no, no. Just archery practice. It's just Target. Do you and Cam, would you guys spoon in a-

No, we don't spoon. We hug. We bro hug. If we were trapped in an avalanche, we had to stay alive. I picture you both in Alaska in a tentalanche we had to stay alive you know i picture you both in like alaska in a tent if we had to stay alive if you had to would you keep each other warm you have to just sometimes to live would you be bigger a little spoon we can um i don't know we have to find out i feel like you guys would take turns you don't want to be rude you have to yeah you have to like it you have to definitely have false facts. Listen, man, if you're fucking cold, you'll do whatever you have to do to stay warm.

If it's between freezing to death or being modest or being weird that people are going to think you're gay, you're going to choose not freezing to death. I feel like that's not something you're worried about. Wait, you evaded a question. What question? You didn't quite answer it. Oh, sorry. What was one of the most traumatic things that's happened to you and now i think

about that made me think of has anything ever happened in like survival when you're out hunting and doing these excursions that you do i first of all i don't know how brian callan survives in the wild how did we both survive but is, has there ever been an experience where, you know, like what has been your most traumatic experience? I've, I've had no dangerous experiences in the woods other than one time I came eye to eye with a grizzly bear. Fuck.

Yeah. It wasn't a big one. It was about six feet. Was it really just one of the Kardashians and you were like at a Starbucks? Sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you just shaking the scotch?

You know what I watched last night? I love Lucy. I watched it with my 11-year-old. Did she like it? No, she was not into it. After a while, she was like, this is stupid, dad. Let's get out of here. Did it hold up?

I haven't seen it in so long. It does not. It does not, she was like, this is stupid, Dad. Let's get out of here. Did it hold up? I haven't seen it in so long. It does not. Ah, fuck. It does not, but it does. This is why it does. It does as a time capsule. It's a fascinating time capsule because it gets to let you understand. There's been this collection of information in terms of how people act, how they behave

in movies and when they're at their best and the heroes and the brilliant professors and we've seen so many versions of this now that back then they didn't know anybody. Nobody knew anybody. There was like a small group of people that you were around. Those are the people that you knew.

You had very little access to the Jordan Petersons and the Sam Harris's of the world and these people that are presenting these interesting ideas. Forward thinkers, yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa. The Steven Pinkers. There's so many of them. You're constantly being exposed to all these different ways of looking at life.

Back then, they were not. They were not. I mean, talk about tiny little racist echo chambers that they were all in. Not just that. It's just that talking in front of people, like seeing people talking was new. Yep. Like being able to watch a video of someone talk. And fucking Ricky Ricardo comes home.

Lucy, I'm home. And he comes home. I was at the club. And he's, look at this. I'm home and he comes home I was at the club and he's look at this it's wild because you've got to think this is literally like you know

okay my podcast started 11 years ago right that's when we started this podcast if you went to this time 11 years before this there was no TV yeah it definitely like the progression of entertainment having to

do in correlation with the technology available that's what they were at the you know they were at the mercy of of technology and the lack of technology they were figuring it out as they went along they were doing something that used to be a play but can we also talk about in front of everybody can we also talk about in this eras, what a woman was allowed to do in society and what she was doing on a professional. This was all her. Right. This was all her. And the name of the show is I Love Lucy.

It's not I Love Ricky. No, she created this. Yeah, if Ricky dies, we can get Mikey. She was the epicenter. She was the nucleus of this. And to be a woman and to also be goofy. Yes. And to not have a stature about you that society has deemed respectful and what they expect. She's silly.

She's silly and a little off color. Yes. And not the stoicism that women were supposed to display in that era. Right. She's got boundless personality in comparison to that era. Like, who the fuck do you ever see that's like her? Well, women were meant to be demure. Right.

Don't question. Be quiet. Put on lipstick and don't breathe too heavily. But in that sense, she's probably one of the, well, definitely one of the most important female comedians of all time. Oh, I mean, she was on TV. Because she set a tone. She set a tone.

She set a tone where, where hey did they tell you you couldn't work while i'm working in the in the job i have is named after me and i'm this i'm the executive and everybody loved this show oh this show was huge this show was beloved and and we're coming off the heels of uh what was a show that only that was so um prominent but only ran a season. Honeymooners. Honeymooners. Dude, this show was before Castro took over Cuba. That's crazy. When you really think about history. That's true, right? What year did Castro take over Cuba?

Later 50s. Maybe. I'm going to guess. I know history. I know there was the Pinta, the Nina, and the Santa Maria. The whole show was off. It was done already. Because if it was from 51 to 57, Castro, I know history. I know there was the Pinta, the Nina, and the Santa Maria. The whole show was off. It was done already. Because if it was from 51 to 57, Castro took over in 59.

Yeah. Wow. This was before that. That's wild. And I'm sad that it doesn't hold up. People used to travel to Cuba. They would travel to Cuba back then and party. Like, the mob had clubs in Cuba.

Do you know, Cuba used to be the spot. It was like Miami. It was basically Miami. But it was an island. And then everybody moved to Miami. If you thought about one place where you'd travel, we're going to fucking go party on South Beach. Like, oh my God.

You might as well be in Cuba. You're going to be in clubs. It is Cuba. You're going to be drinking. You're going to stay up too late. You're going to have a headache. A lot of people are going to do coke. It's going to be in clubs. It's Cuba. You're going to be drinking. You're going to stay up too late. You're going to have a headache. A lot of people are going to do coke. It's going to be a party.

There's going to be rented Lamborghinis blasting by you on the street. Bright colors. Woo! It's just... Lime green Lamborghinis. It's a spot. It's the state bird of Miami. Wild people have decided to collect themselves.

Florida's state bird should be a lime green Lamborghini. I mean, look at her. Yeah. It's so insane. Top ten classic I love Lucy moments. Do you remember Mr. Ed? Oh, fuck yeah. The horse talked.

Yeah, he talked. Dumbest fucking show ever. So stupid. Think about we had like as a kid the reruns of that. That's what I had to watch. Right. There was nothing else available. Well, I should talk.

I was in Zookeeper where all the animals talked. Kevin James. Yo, did you see the new one with Kevin James? What's the new one? Oh, when he plays like a psychopath? Plays like a fucking, like a trumper. Plays like a wild dude. Do you know that movie?

I haven't seen it, but I heard he killed it. It's like named, it's Lucy or- Something like named Lucy or something like that. A girl's name. A girl's name. And he's got a beard and a shaved head. He was so good in that. That movie was dope. That movie was like really well done. What's it called Jamie? Kevin James is a super talented comic. He's a guy that got

people don't know how funny he is because he spent so much time working on King of Queens. Like he was doing that show. Which was hilarious. Hilarious show show but the point is like that was all his energy went into that becky you gotta see becky he put all his energy into that show but i was friends with kevin we have the same manager i was friends with kevin when we were both open micers we were both like barely getting work on the road when i met ke. Yeah. And he's a monster comic. Oh, my God.

He had this one bit that he used to do about his girlfriend. You remember those old cars where someone, you would have to unlock the door, but if they grabbed the handle at the same time, it would cancel each other out? And he had this fucking bit. Yeah. Have you ever seen that bit?

He's just, oh, my God. When he's freaking out, he goes, just dance down. I'm going to turn around. I'm going to open up the fucking door. Have you ever seen that bit? Oh my God. When he's freaking out, he goes, Just dance now! I'm going to turn around! I'm going to open up the fucking door! With the sound effects he does for the locks. The build up. The build up where you can see his anxiety and his anger grow.

It's amazing. It's a great bit. I've seen it live a hundred times. Kevin is a good friend. We did a lot of gigs together. He's so funny. His stand up is so funny. I remember watching his stand up. He's so funny. His stand-up is so funny. I remember watching his stand-up.

He's so physical. But a movie like this, Becky, it's so important for a comic like him because I feel like comics like him and so many others, you're a comic, let's put you in a comedy. It makes sense. But then they do a role like this, and you're like, wait a minute. There's this whole other realm that they can exist. I mean, we saw it with Robin Williams and Jim Carrey.

They both are able to access the comedy, obviously, because they're so talented. But when it comes to roles where society and the population aren't expecting them to be able to get into these darker elements of the human effect and darker elements of the way people can be and of, you know, the way people can be and nail it. I mean, think about- I need to see it. But, you know- Joe McHale's great, too.

Adam Sandler did that in Uncut Gems, too. Yo, unrecognizable. And those two are tight. Adam and Kevin are tight. They do a lot of movies together. And people- They're both in that way. Like, you classify a person by, person by a sitcom or something like that.

But Kevin can do anything. I'm telling you, he had a nickname. We used to call him Shimmy. I call my cousin Shimmy. That's weird. He would go full Shimmy. And when Kevin would go full Shimmy, he would go crazy about something. And it was mostly for entertainment, but he would pretend that he'd be really mad at something.

And whatever it was, whatever it was, like someone would give him a paper straw, and all of a sudden, he would go full shimmy and he'd start fucking... I'm telling you, that dude is one of the funniest people I've ever been around. Way to see this. Especially if he knows his friends are watching. If he's got me and his brother

and a couple of other friends, Kevin is one of the funniest guys that's ever lived. I'm not bullshitting. He was a monster comic. He's so funny. A monster comic. We were talking just before we started about Bob Odenkirk, who I hope is okay. Yeah, he collapsed on the set of his television show, right? Right.

Better Call Saul. Yeah, and I hope he's okay because I think he's such a talent. I think they said he's going to be okay. His doctor released a statement that he's going to be okay. He might have just been exhausted. Yeah, that exhaustion's real. Oh, fuck yes. And it just knocks you out. But Bob Odenkirk... Whoa, he

said I had a small heart attack. Oh, shit. But I'm going to be okay, thanks to Rosa Estrada and the doctors who knew how to fix the blockage without surgery. Holy fuck. Also, AMC and Sony support and help throughout this has been next level. I'm going to take a beat to recover, but I'll be back soon

Take a beat. I like that heartbeat. I was gonna say with him With nobody the movie is I didn't see that but I heard it was great you need okay I heard it was great. You gotta watch nobody do back. Tell me what to do. I'm telling you right to do I'm gonna do right now do Becky first. first. Okay. It's a woman's. The future's female, and I want you to listen to me. Please. And I'm sorry, because I'm a woman and I apologize. LOL.

Becky, then nobody. Okay. Sounds good. But they both display the same level of surprise talent that comedians sometimes display in these movies where they're not necessarily playing the role that everybody expects. Right. And nobody. comedians sometimes display in these movies where they're not necessarily playing the role that everybody expects right and nobody i mean we've seen it from him and better call saul and and um breaking bad but yo him and nobody you get lost in that role same thing with adam and uncut gems like they just turn a corner and then they open up this whole other realm of possibility when it

comes to them being able to display a different type of behavior that we're expecting from them. Well, the Uncut Gems one with Adam was stunning, right? Wasn't it like... It was so crazy. It was so crazy and I had such a visceral reaction to it. Oh my God. I was like nauseous through it. The most anxiety-inducing movie of all time.

Of all time. And then, spoiler alert. Don't. When the guy gets in the head and then spoiler alert don't when the guy gets in the head and you're like what in the fuck this is how you're gonna do this to me you're gonna do this to me right now oh my god oh my god you fucks you know whose movies do that to me darren aronofsky oh yeah fungal oh yeah yeah you get out of there you're like what what'd you just do fuck you no seriously is he alive? Taranofsky? Fuck. And Lars Van Trier?

Both of you. Have you ever seen a movie called The Antichrist? I don't believe so. Maybe though. Joe, you are the Antichrist. No. You need to have a, this is going to be your movie trilogy. No. Yes, I'm telling you what to do. I'm going to see the one with Kevin and

I'm going to probably not see any more movies for a couple weeks. Okay. When you have time. That's my general pattern. Watch The Antichrist. Okay, I'll watch it. William Dafoe.

It's going to fuck you up. You know what I started watching the other day, and I had to stop? I'm like, I need to be alone. I need to have no... My family rather wasn't into it, and no, no country for old men. But I was like, I had this urge this urge I was like I need to watch this again right now I just rewatched it like two weeks ago I was like okay this one's on the 100% on the playlist next time

I sit down when no one's around like if I come home tonight and everyone's asleep I'm gonna watch no country for old men I can't believe that's the same guy from eat pray love he played a love interest in eat pray love cause I'm a heterosexual male I watched it two days ago fuck eat pray love okay He played a love interest in me I watched Eat Pray Love because I'm a heterosexual male I watched it two days ago Fuck

Eat Pray Love okay Okay I will That's the same guy Yo the Coen brothers Is Eat Pray Love good though all bullshit aside All bullshit aside it is good I think everybody should go on that kind of journey That that author went on You know especially after some tragic shit

Which you're still avoiding which is fine um something happened along the way you know what i love about the coen that's the coen brothers right what is that gentleman's name again javier javier bardem he's amazing oh he's like scary amazing yeah he's so good in this movie he's got that like he's got the face of a man who makes love. He's fucking you, but he makes you feel like he's making love to you. Okay, I'll just defer to you on that. But what he does have is the face of someone who's about to kill you, and there's not a fucking thing you can do about it.

And he does that so well. When he's talking to you, as he's talking to you, you can see in his eyes he's already going to kill you. But you don't hear it from his words. But you see it in his eyes that he has a determination to kill you. And they know it. So there's this uncomfortable thing while they're talking to him where they're like, why is this guy looking at me like he's going to kill me?

But he's saying nice things in a polite way. And he's asking you questions. And this guy's like sitting there going, oh my God, this guy's going to fucking kill me. I hope he doesn't kill me. I'm just going to say all the right shit and hope he doesn't kill me. And then he kills you anyway.

That scene is very intense. That specific scene in that movie. And they have such a, their filmmaking and their writing is so subtle. They leave so much open space. Because so many movies like this, because I don't know. It's Coen Brothers, right?

Yeah. Would you consider this an action movie? It's kind of hard. I don't want to. You know what? It's a Coen Brothers movie is what it is. How different is that than The Big Lebowski? Infinitely different.

I just watched it three nights ago. So funny. But so creative. They're both so creative. They're so crazy. John Goodman in The Big Lebowski is just pure comedy gold. He's kind of like how you're describing Kevin James getting mad over these

little things. You weren't enough, bro! He goes full shivvy. Yeah. What about Fargo? How good is that movie? Jesus Christ, that movie's good. What's his name? Why can't I think? The guy. What's his...

William H. Macy? Yeah, William H. Macy. Oh, boy. Ruh-roh. Those two had to pay a pretty dollar to get their pretty kids into college. What happened? They were a part of that whole college scam. Was he?

Yeah. Oh, no. Felicity and William H. Macy. Oh, no. Really? Is that his wife's name? Right? I'm looking at Jamie.

He has all the answers. So much pressure, Jamie. Just to know everything. I met that dude once and I fucked up someone's name when I was telling him how much I like somebody. Who was it? God, I'm trying to remember. You were like John Travolta.

John Travolta. I just said John Travolta. Mr. Carter. Remember when? Ooh, ooh, ooh. Adiza Mendiza Meniza. Oh, that. When he was doing the thing.

Joe Montagna. That's what it was. I said it wrong. I said Joe Montagna's name wrong. I said like Joe Montanega. What do you mean? It was something awful. That's simple.

No, no, no. He had to correct me. He did? But not in a you mean? It was something awful. That's simple. But no, no, no. He had to correct me. He did? But not in a bad way. He was very friendly. But I felt like such a fucking loser. I'm like, oh my God. And I really do love that guy.

But I fucked up his name. Yeah, but I mean. You know that guy, Joe Montania, does gun shows? Like he's super into guns. What do you mean like gun shows? Gun shows on the Outdoor Network. It's like the Sportsman's Channel or the Outdoor Network. He does a whole show with guns.

That's strange. He knows a shitload about guns. I wouldn't think that about him, but I don't know anything about him. Yeah, I was totally stunned. That's him. Oh my God. Play some of this. Gun stories. Look at that zaddy beard.

Like the history of guns. Like he's a gun connoisseur. He knows a lot about old guns and new guns and gun technology and military applications. Do you have a slight man crush? I like the guy because I think he's an amazing actor. He is a really great actor. He's really good. Who do you man crush over?

You've had so many people on this podcast, but in the entertainment industry, besides Cam, your very happily married buddy. He's so mad. He's got children, you whore. Oh, God, I really missed you. I missed you, too.

No, like... I am not wrecking homes, Joe. I understand. Who is your, like, your man... Okay, so my... I think, like, the woman who I would, you know, licky, licky, sticky, sticky. Whoa.

Jesus Christ. Really? Licky, licky, and sticky, sticky is where you draw the line. It's not where I draw the line. I'm just laughing. I'm just laughing. I'm not protesting. I want you to protest so bad.

You know who it is? Zoe Kravitz. Oh, well it is? Zoe Kravitz. Oh, well. You know Zoe Kravitz? Yeah, she's beautiful. That looks like someone Jamie would lust after. She's beautiful. Well, you got good taste.

Thank you. Congratulations on that. And David Bautista. See, dudes don't look at it like in terms of other guys. They don't look at it like guy crushes. Girls have girl crushes. Yeah, like beauty. Guys have guys they admire. Right, so I'm thinking like maybe you want to bed

Joe Matanga. I admire people that can do things that don't seem possible. And there's a lot of those people out there. Like Elon? Like Elon. Neil? In the intellectual sense, Elon. In the engineer sense, Elon. In the ability to innovate and then get those products to sense, Elon. In the engineer sense, Elon.

In the ability to innovate and then get those products to market, Elon. He's a stunning force in technological innovation. Whatever controversial opinions people have of him, no one is perfect. It's not possible. You don't get perfect humans. But you do get exceptional ones, and he's an exceptional one. And if you're just concentrating on whatever things you find douchey about

him, let that go. I know. For what he's contributing? This fucking guy is drilling tunnels under cities to make people move faster. He should have crazy thoughts. He should be saying crazy things. He should rockets into the fucking moon. You think he's going to be level all the time? We sound like Sam Kinison. He's a fucking moon. You think he's going to be level all the time? We sound like Sam Kinison.

He's a fucking genius. You don't know what it means to be a genius. Right, no one can understand that. When I asked him, there was a time in the podcast, I'm like, what is it like? What is it like to be, what is it like to have all these ideas bouncing off in your head?

He was like, you wouldn't want to be me. He said it as clear as day. You wouldn't want this. This is not necessarily a good... But he figures out a way to take this fucking supercharged energy... And he just diverts it into a bunch of different things. He diverts it into super complicated things all day long. That are forwarding our society.

Literally pushing us into, like figuratively and literally he's pushing us and propelling us into the future and we're worried about if he smokes pot! You're blowing your friend, well, you know that was my fault. Yeah, well, a lot of stuff is your fault. That was my fault. That was my fault. And people are like, well, you killed the stock

by 9%. And that was like 6%, right? It was 6% it dropped the next day. According to you, 6 million percent. But then it went to 9% after that. Of course. It went back up.

Yeah. People are like, what? Because any news is good news. But it's just dumb. It is dumb. It's dumb.

Okay, here's a scenario We were drinking whiskey the entire podcast. Nobody's worried about it. Nobody cares. Meanwhile, let's check the statistics of people drinking and driving

in those accidents. But also, we were in California where weed is legal people people will find a way to bitch about anything are you sure they're bored they're bored and triggered i'm fucking triggered well go learn a language learn a skill do something to contribute to society all these people who bitch and want to shut people down for what they say, go do something. Help somebody out. You're absolutely right about that.

Bring a newspaper to your fucking neighbor's door. That would be very nice of you. Okay, I have a scenario for you. Okay. Hard-pressed. Let's say it's the end of the world. This is the only way your family's going to survive. This is it.

Oh, Jesus. Open mouth kiss, Neil deGrasse Tyson or Elon Musk. I think Elon would be able to get past it quicker. I think me and Neil, we would struggle to retain our friendship. I honestly think Neil would be very sensual. Neil would insist on being on top. I think it would be a better kiss. I'm just kidding, Neil.

Just a joke. I think it would be a much more sensual kiss with Neil. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah, probably. He'd probably be smoother. He'd probably put music on. Do you think he'd put his cosmos on?

Like him just. Oh, boy. That would be a turn off. Imagine like, watch my reel. No, don't do this to me. I had this idea of you and you ruined it. I have such a crush on him too. He's an awesome person.

He's also a cool voice to have access to. Him to be able to make something that's so profound, digestible for someone like me who has such a hard time learning on certain subjects. It's a real luxury to be able to have access to that information and to make it entertaining, to make like super technical things entertaining like that. That's a talent. That's a skill level. Well, it's definitely an important part of society. People don't want to think of it.

They don't want to think of like science as being science and entertainment as being entertainment. But they don't understand like there's a bridge that you can get where you can get a really entertaining science guy and it's really your best hope because that's the way people are going to learn whether that show The Cosmos the redo of the

Carl Sagan show or whether it's all of his other things I love the guy we don't agree about a lot we agree about a lot rather

that's a great thing we do agree about a lot we don't agree about a couple things aliens that's it. That's the big one. That's the big one.

He doesn't think that they would want to visit. And I'm like, that is so crazy. We don't agree about a lot. Aliens, that's it. That's all it is. I phrased it wrong. I phrased it wrong. I was upset.

When I said we don't agree about a lot of things, I meant we don't disagree about a lot of things. It was just a small amount of things. But the alien one was a big one. I know. And that kind of broke my heart because I want, I mean, as I'm looking at your alien figurines, maybe he's part alien and he's just preserving the lineage. No. No.

Here's what I think it is. I would have a guy who's so involved in the cosmos be like, no. I was like, deal. This is what I think it is. To have a guy who's so involved in the cosmos be like, no. I was like, deal! This is what I think it is. I don't think he has a lot of time. And I don't think he has a lot of room in his life for nonsense. He doesn't. As a science educator.

And I think most people, me included, have had at least periods in their life where they thought of UFOs as being 100% bullshit. I went through a long period where I was like I don't want to hear this anymore because that whole UFO world of people that talk about UFOs they're always wacky. Right? They're always the fringe of society.

But it's also like they believe if they keep talking for long enough you go oh oh my God, this guy believes in ghosts and all kinds of nonsense. Like they just keep, there's no- There's no limit to their- They believe- They believe in everything. They believe in everything.

They believe in everything. We need just one person to solely believe in aliens. But what about like the Phoenix Lights? Terrence McKenna. Maybe. Yeah. I mean, I wasn't there. Okay, I saw something crazy in new york city

pointing at me like you're my mom you piece of shit i went into your sock drawer it's a scotch one of them scotch makes motherfuckers point i saw an orb in new york city one day and in again to mention yannis he took a photo he was in belg Belgium or something with Ali Wong and another comedian. And he was taking a photo of whatever country he was in because it said like Williamsburg or something like the highway sign. So he just was like, oh, look, there's a Williamsburg here, too. And he sent it to me. And you zoom in and there were these like silver orbs in the sky. Well, hold on a second. They weren't there when he took the picture, but in the picture you saw them? He noticed them in the photograph. The photo wasn't to highlight them.

It was to highlight the sign. Right. And then afterwards, upon inspection. It's a visual effect. It's caused by cameras. No, I think they were floating orbs. No, it's recreatable. Now my heart's being broke by the alien enthusiast telling me there's no fucking aliens.

I'm not saying there's no aliens. I'm saying if you're looking at something that happens like orbs, it's a visual effect. And sometimes it has to do with like light. Jamie, you're a photography guy. Don't pull him into this shit. Don't mansplain aliens to me, Jamie.

He really knows photography. Tell her what's going on. Depending on the photo, yeah. It could have been a lot of things. It could have been a plane in the distance. No, no, no, no, no. Orbs. They can be even indoors. Silver orbs.

People can see them indoors. It could have been a piece of dust getting light reflected off. Jamie, for your sake, I hope this is the last time you break my heart. No. Okay? I really do. I have seen photos of friends holding their hands out and orbs surrounding them. Like glows of light.

Okay, I saw an orb. But my friend who sent me that photo lived in a dusty ass apartment. That motherfucker never dusted anything. He's taking a flash photograph in a dusty ass apartment. Bitch, of course you got orbs. The people who see orbs. You shot in a flashlight through your dust. You dirty bitch.

They always look like they're going to see orbs. You can almost be like, this bitch probably sees orbs. Yo, for real. If you don't vacuum, you're going to have orbs. That's what it is no Joe Joe

you're right we need to call Neil it's fairies you're right he's gotten into you yeah it's fairies you're right it's

this is really fucked up you're my last hope for Sasquatch and you already broke that I broke that that's over if you let go of aliens I'm not sure 100% though

maybe one left you're under a fucking a glowing UFO no I believe in aliens I just don't believe that. That's over. I'm not sure 100% though. Maybe one left. You're under a fucking glowing UFO. No, I believe in aliens. I just don't believe that when you take a picture and you see these like white circles in your picture that that's UFOs in your fucking

living room. I think it's dust, you dirty bitch. And you need a vacuum. So far I've been called a rotten whore and a dirty bitch. And I stand by both but I'm still affected and it's rude there I was standing on a street corner going across the street in New York City no photos

Joe this is my own eyes and you saw an orb fly down the street that's different no very different I was going to cross the street and you know everyone in New York is a homogenous mob whatever one person does everybody does and everyone was looking up and I was like what the fuck is everyone looking at and I looked up And everyone in New York is a homogenous mob. Whatever one person does, everybody does. And everyone was looking up.

And I was like, what the fuck is everyone looking at? And I looked up and there was like this silver, it looked like a silver tampon sitting in the sky. No noise. How far away? I'm terrible with guesstimation, but at least a couple hundred feet up in the air. Above the tall buildings we were around. Above the buildings. Yes.

Silver sitting there. And everyone, we were like on a street corner, like, what the fuck is that? Did it look like plane-sized? Not necessarily. There were no wings. Right, but the size, could you determine? It could probably be like maybe a... Like a bus?

Yeah, like a bus size. Okay, like a flying bus. Yeah, like maybe that much Like a bus? Yeah, like a bus size. Okay, like a flying bus. Yeah, like maybe that much of a mass. That size, right. And then by the time I got back down to the bar, I was working at this bar, Puffy's Tavern in Tribeca, it was on the news. Whoa.

About this thing that was sitting in the sky above New York City. Here it is. FAA unable to identify object flying over New York City. Yep, 2010. Hundreds gay skyward at Manhattan UFO. Feds say they don't know what it was. That was the right time for sure. I 100% believe you. That was with my own eyes. Yeah, I believe you. I believe you 100%.

So what's that? It could be a drone from another planet. It could be something from China. It could be something from Russia. I mean, 100% could be something from china it could be something from russia i mean it it 100 could be man-made what is one of the greatest mysteries we have in existence that you would love to know the answer to that's the big one the big one are are we alone and if we're not alone are we visited and if we are visited how often and are they here now and how many of them are amongst us i'm not sleeping tonight this fucking guy with his fucking theories. I'm trying to make a sauce. I got the garlic.

I got the razor blade. I think they're here. I think they're here right now. I really hope the pink elephant makes a cut of this one. I think they've been watching us for a long time. And I think there's probably something that happens around the time where a high intelligence life form, like a human being, innovates to such a high level that there's a real possibility it might self-destruct. And I think we're on the precipice of that. And I think that as totalitarian regimes, whether it's China or Russia,

whether the United States comes into that and becomes that, as they struggle for power, you get psychopaths that are at the helm of these machines. Someone might launch something at somebody else and shit might get crazy. There might be this pivotal moment in the development of intelligent life form where it has to trans, it has to transcend, but it has to evolve past this primal method of survival that got it to the dance.

Like what got people to the dance is building walls and spears and bows and arrows. Barbarianism meets technology. Yeah, and then guns and fight everybody off. And once everybody had guns, like, okay, everything settled down a little bit. Nuclear war, whoa, everything really settled down. Right. It's like out of whack. Do you think, here's a question, do you think we're like in a vivarium?

A vivarium? Is that like an aquarium? It's like a- like someone's watching us? Yeah, it's basically like a way to watch something biological. It's like a way to sort of study something. Do you think humans are like a vivarium for aliens? Well, if aliens are coming here by nature, that's what we are because we can't escape this planet. The best we've done is allegedly go to the moon

a bunch of times and come back. That's the best we've done. What does Neil say about that? He thinks they went to the moon. He thinks. And I do too because Neil's smarter than me.

But, you know, maybe they're fake. Well, it would also, it probably would behoove him to believe in that because it's his field. Well, he's right. The people that have studied it,

the people that pay attention to it, the people that pay attention to it, the people that studied the moon landing, the people that engineered it and did it. The same people who were in bed with people who created MKUltra. Maybe they did. Maybe they killed Kennedy, but whatever, whatever. We landed on the moon first. It's a fucking slice of white pizza. A little gabagool on the side.

I don't know what the fuck happened, but I do know that it's unlikely that we're alone in the universe. It has to be. It's way too big. And it's likely that if a life form that was super intelligent that had made that jump,

like maybe they make that jump if they live in a world with like less natural resources and less predators and most things eat plants or something like that where they never get to this fucking animal eating animal thing. So Beverly Hills. I was going to say that's more like an East LA Silver Lake kind of deal.

They're all anemic. Talk about being whole. I'm eating whole grain. I am. I'm a vegan. Congratulations. But I'm also a carnivore how's that work i'm just balanced diet i don't think that's you can't say did you just say i

can't be a carnivore you ever see those people on the the libs of tiktok where they're inventing new uh sort of genders they're like they have genders that no one's ever heard of before and they'll explain to you what those genders are and how they're supposed to be talked to. There's a thing called libs of TikTok. What happens if we don't address them? Oh, no, no, no. It's real. I'm sure it is.

It just almost doesn't sound real. It sounds like a troll. And Jamie's scared to look it up because he's like, please don't make me Google this. That's because things in life feel like a troll now. We don't have to look it up. Everything feels like you're trolling. It does. And when it comes to sensitivities, like for i can't even keep track of everything i have to do in my own

existence to keep myself afloat let alone know how to address everyone also i wonder where did this idea that we have to cater to every single human's sensitivities come into play. And if you don't, you get fucking shut down. Regular people don't do that on a regular basis. It's exhausting. But it's what we were talking about earlier, is that technology has developed so fast, and it's at such a rapid pace.

And we haven't. We haven't developed at the same pace, but we're interacting with each other in this crazy way that never happened before where people are interacting with people from all over the fucking world instantaneously. And one thing that people love to do is get people fired, get people in trouble. They love it. They love it. They fucking love it.

Oh, that Jessie Mae, that bitch. Did you see what she did? That homewrecking whore. That Jessie Mae. get people in trouble they love it they love it they fucking love it oh that jessie made that bitch did you see what she did that homewrecking horse jessie may trying to fuck brad pitt he is get some of them dusty loads all right what the limbs of tiktok account i've stumbled across i guess i i might have like tuned out a word and missed it's like it's compiling the craziness yeah yeah so like i misunderstood so like everything we're supposed to no no no no it's a it's a page where he curates all the most crack-headed things i thought people were talking i thought it was like a group of people that are all for it so is this like the terminology we're supposed to use to address different elements of the lgbtq community no no no look this is no, no. This is all kinds of crazy shit. It's liberal people.

Oh, okay. It says, meet libs of TikTok, the Twitter account that's exposing the most insane people on the internet. But it's filled with

all kinds... Any social justice warrior... It's not limited to one category of social justice warrior virtue signaling behavior. It's fucking cracky.

People... See, this is the thing where it gets a little tricky people there are crazy people everywhere and then social media gives them a platform and not just a platform but this new thing this new thing where you can tell people how they have to address you because you're special and you're a special classification that you might have invented yourself and then there's a lot of other people in that special classification, and they have to talk about you in a very certain way. That's exhausting.

Oh, Christ. It's so exhausting. How does that... They have like allosexual and inosexual. Like the plant? They're naming these. The plant? They're making these new...

Yeah, they're only sexual with aloe vera plants. Which, honestly, you think about a plant to fuck, that's the one. It's smooth. It's very lubricant. Can you use... There's spikes on there's smooth. It's very lubricant. Can you use it?

Spikes on there, though. A lot of rough edges. Well, you just got to cut it open, squeeze it out. So those dusty loads have a little bit of lubrication. There's just so many people that can put things online right now. And this is the thing. The human animal hasn't evolved as quickly as the technology has. You're right. animal hasn't evolved as quickly as the technology you're right so as it taught technology reaches these insane new methods of delivery where they can just send it to your wrist and send it to

your fucking head and next thing you know you're gonna be have a hole in your head and wires it's gonna be sent into there like there's never been a time like this before so the human animal takes years and years and years to adapt, but technology just goes like that. We can't keep up. So we're just getting stuck in the meat grinder. And we're going to figure out one day. We're going to say, listen, there's no way we're going to make this unless we integrate. We're going to have to make some sort of a deal with the computers and integrate.

AIs. AI. It's going to be like a part of you. You're going to look at it like, oh, I don't want the aliens to take over. Well, they're not going to take over. We're going to join together. This way you'll be able to speak 15 different languages immediately. You can see through walls.

Come on. Don't be scared. I mean, that's a little – I feel like limits are good. I feel like limits being able to do things is the most important thing we have so that we understand that it takes a certain amount of effort and diligence and discipline to achieve things. That's the one thing about social media is that it's created this illusion from people just viewing the way people live that that's the way they also live. And so there's like this almost false illusion of having things you don't have or earning things you haven't earned. There's definitely a lot of that, yeah. And, you know, then ego comes into play again.

You know, the human ego is a real divisive, dangerous tool that we're sort of underutilizing in different areas and it's becoming a danger in other areas. Yeah. in different areas and it's becoming a danger in other areas. You know, when it comes to like social media, like you said, like, you know, the algorithms on its own, but the things you look at create your own individual algorithm. The things that you constantly, it learns to the way you teach it to learn. From my understanding, you know, I start to look at things or say things like if I'm mentioning things about Alzheimer's, I'll start to see things that have to do with brain health or if I look up like eyebrows

just microblading I'll see a bunch of bitches with sharp ass brows so I have this like fucked up algorithm based off of things I'm interested in looking at well whose fault is that? Me for the way I'm looking or is it starting to just cater to what I want and then it's not a fault it's just

a nature thing well that's where it gets dangerous human nature is a dangerous thing left but it seems like it's figured out exactly what we want we want people to pay attention to us then you got thoughts right thots or thots that hoe over there, right? Coming for your dads, coming for your dads. Gonna ruin your Thanksgiving. When you see that, what is that? That's a human being that's basically just an animal. We're all just animals. And it's trying to get attention.

It's found this new pathway, this new pathway to get attention. And what technology is doing is making you addicted to it. Technology is like, what do you like you like when people watch you i can help people watch you i'm thinking i can help you to watch you in i'm thinking of your kardashian demon come on in 4k listen you need the new one if you get the new one come on if you get the new one i'll make you 3D in the new one. In the new one, you're a hologram. You can totally just rewrite that joke for social media.

You're a hologram in the new one. Come on. You know you want it. Bring me into your anus. I want to live inside your body. You're like, what? I just want Instagram. You got a see-through walls.

I just want Instagram. No, we're going to integrate with technology. It's going to go, why do you want those old biological eyeballs? They can't see, right? They don't see everything. They only see like a certain amount of dimensions. Don't you want eyeballs to see everything?

And then you take these new eyeballs like, like fucking like Hellraiser. Have you heard of the metaverse yet? I think we're living in it, Jamie. Well, yes. That's not untrue. That's not untrue. If we had one of those morning zoo radio shows,

that would definitely be a clip that they would use. Have you heard of it, Jamie? Have you ever heard of the metaverse? I think we're living in it, Jamie. Tune in at 6 a.m. I've heard about it getting talked about with NFTs a lot recently. I've seen it being like, I've seen a tweet saying like, this will be in the metaverse.

Mark Zuckerberg had a post the other day on his Facebook account, which then gets shared to everybody's Facebook account, where he had this written there. I want to discuss this now so that you can see the future that we're working towards and how our major initiatives across the company are going to map that. That was on a call actually is what he said. Oh, on a call. Zuckerberg

said it on a call. What is the metaverse? It's a virtual environment where you can be present with people in digital spaces. You can kind of think of this as an embodied internet that you're inside of rather than just looking at. He's made the Matrix.

This motherfucker made the Matrix. He's the grand poobah of the Matrix. I don't even know if it's just him. I think they're just saying they're going to be in it. Listen to me. That robot drinking, that water drinking like a robot. That dead eye, son of a bitch. That fucking, he's got gopher eyes.

You ever see his eyes? Look at them. He's a shark. You ever see him drink water? You ever see Zuckerberg drink water? You need to see him drink water. If you were on a date and a guy drank water like that, you would FaceTime your friends. You'd be like, bitch, watch him drink water.

Watch him drink water. If you were on a date with a guy and he's drinking water like this, here's the fingers, right? Watch me. Watch him drink water. Are you ready? I pictured Trump like this. No, no, no. Watch this. Watch this. Ready? Here we go. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Here we go. He loses his

up. He didn't even take a sip. What the fuck was that? You know what's more scary is the bags under that guy's eyes. That guy behind him doesn't get any sleep. You see, look at that fucking guy. The personal injury lawyer over his right shoulder. That guy's like, Mark, you're starting wars. Your algorithm's starting wars.

But also, I bet you Mark wasn't even thirsty in that moment. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I took more. I guzzled. I'm going to have to learn that delicate touch. This would be me addressing, what was he at the Senate? Y'all hold up. But listen to me. If there was a movie about the creation of the Matrix and you saw that guy testifying before the Senate

and nobody realized something was wrong. Something was up. We gotta stop him. He's the problem. Stop him. Stop him. Shut up, Doug. Before he makes The Matrix. Meanwhile, The Matrix might be better.

Why listen to me? Maybe you get in there, and it's just you and 150 camhaineses. Stop. Yes. Stop trying to break up a home. In a volcano. In a volcano, but you can survive the fire. The volcano is my reproductive system.

Right? It's my ovaries. You're in the Matrix. We don't need to follow the laws of physics. You and 100 Cam Haineses inside of a volcano. Let's be clear. I don't want to ruin Cam's hands. I know.

That's not what we're saying. We're talking about the Matrix. Does he have a brother in the Matrix? He does. He has a brother. Perfect. How old is he? You have to ask Cam.

He's in his 20s. I don't think so. Give him time to mature a little bit. Yeah. You like them when they're older and rugged. Yeah, I like them with a little bit of leaf rot. A little bit of wear and tear. Wool rot.

Leaf rot. A little bit of termite damage. Yeah, I need to see. There's some sections of the foundation I could saw off and replace with some of my own shit. I need to see you how to replenish parts of you. Is it so wrong? I have to say, though, there's a lot of... What if he comes up with this,

and it's better than real life? And what if I call you in a few years from now? You're like, Joe, I just... The dog starved to death. I was in the... Chaplain. Poor chaplain. He was great, but you know what was greater? The was in the- Chaplin. Poor Chaplin. He was great, but you know what was greater?

The multiverse or whatever the fuck it's called. This is the post I saw you actually posted that made it into my feed. I don't trust his hairline. As part of Facebook's next chapter, we're all kidding. By the way, Mark, if you get mad at me, I'm just joking. Oh, fuck that, Mark. You're weird. But thank you for Facebook.

As part of Facebook's next chapter, we're setting up a new metaverse product group. Each of our major initiatives, community, creators, commerce, and the next computing platform, except the next computing platform. What? Will unlock many, that's a kind of sneaky thing to slip in there. Very sneaky. The next computing platform. Yeah, what's the et cetera?

The computing platform. Taking over the world. Robots, fuck your face, et cetera. We'll unlock many new experiences by themselves, but together they're all part of a much larger goal, helping to bring the metaverse to life. I believe the metaverse will be the successor to the mobile internet,

and creating this product group is the next step in our journey to help build it. Well, let's break this down. Okay, this sounds like Dr. Evil's plan. It's very close to that. Let's break this down. First of all, I don't like the et cetera. You're talking about some super important shit.

Like, hey, if I said to you, hey, Mike, how did last night go? Oh, I got in a car accident with this guy. I murdered a guy. I fucking killed him and ate him or whatever, et cetera. Like, can we just stop at the next computing platform? We don't need an et cetera after that. Et cetera?

What the fuck? What are you writing? We don't need an ETC. We need a WTF. Aren't you busy? You got Facebook. All of a sudden, I'm Sebastian. Aren't you embarrassed? You got Facebook. All of a sudden, I'm Sebastian. Aren't you embarrassed?

What's this guy doing? How busy you are? What are you doing? Aren't you busy? I got time for the et cetera. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. That's pretty good.

I spit took all over myself. I miss him. When you said you Facebooked by a robot. You Facebooked. I spilled the Freud. That's the new thing. The Freud went up my nose. This confuses me.

And then here's one thing I don't like. The larger goal? I believe the metaverse would be the successor to the mobile internet. Listen to me. He means the internet, internet. He just doesn't want to freak anybody out. So he's saying the mobile internet. He means the fucking internet.

He means this fake world is going to be the successor to the internet. But he's saying the mobile internet. He means the fucking internet. He means this fake world is going to be the successor to the internet. But he's trying to play it soft. He's like, you know, I think it'll be the successor to the mobile internet. And the dummy's going to be like, well, as long as you don't go after the big internet, okay. What's this product group, though? He says

creating this product group is the next step in our journey to help rebuild it or help build it. This sounds like a very Nazi-ish paragraph. You can't say that. Why? You can't call them a Nazi because you're Italian. Oh, fuck that. I mean, it sounds creepy.

It sounds very just dictator-ish. This is what I think. This is what I think. Allegedly. This is my real feeling. Am I going to get canceled now that I said Nazi-ish? My real feeling on something like that Is A. We need to know what the fuck you're doing

What are you doing? What is that? And B. You can't just talk about it vaguely And casually With etc. Why did he post this on a Sunday morning? Etc. I'm going to go make a nuclear bomb, et cetera. It's like, what are you doing?

I'm going to punch a hole through the next universe. Et cetera. Et cetera. No, you can't. Create a wormhole, et cetera. No, you can't claim to have something that could change everything. And you write et cetera. And you write et cetera.

New computing platform, whatever, whatever. MBD. Apple can suck my dick, whatever. MBD, oh. Microsoft is going down. He might as well have been like, totes, okay. Totes, whatever. Apple can suck my dick, whatever. Microsoft is going down. He might as well have been like, totes, okay. Totes, cool. It's not much to stop people from doing that, though. Especially

when you look at these social media platforms that have insane amounts of money. It goes back to what you say about unchecked power. Who's checking this guy, even though he sat on that whole platform with the Senate in front of him? Did anything happen? Well, here's the other argument. What's to stop anybody from competing with him?

Why doesn't someone make a better version of that and do that? Are we opposed to competition when someone gets too good at it, when they get too far ahead and it looks insurmountable, like nobody could catch up to them? Or do we oppose competition when someone is not competing fairly and they're trying to stop the other competitors from reaching where they are? They're trying to stop this idea of let's see the public's opinion on who has the better product. And instead, they're trying to cut off these businesses at the ankles. Right.

What happens to the American commerce? I thought we were supposed to have people be able to have competition in small companies. Those are completely gone when it comes to things like this. Sort of. But my thing I'm thinking is I don't think anybody saw this coming. I think part of the problem with YouTube- They saw what coming? With social media.

Right. Part of the problem with YouTube and Twitter and Facebook and all these platforms and Instagrams, I don't think anybody thought they were going to be what they were when they started it. I don't think we knew what they were going to be. I mean, think back to even just like, and this is just a specific example, but Dane Cook's reach on MySpace. Crazy. isolated experiment of reach on the beginning of something that is turning into someone talking about the next computing platform i mean we were fine with just having shitty photos and showing what our music playlist was now we've gone to like isolating people in these almost semi-militarized

groups of echo chambers of ideas that are kind of toxic and dangerous for society on a whole and now this is like running rampant on a platform where like you said before we're not just reaching people on our street we're reaching motherfuckers in indonesia i know but what i'm saying is that i have something i can completely relate to with it is that i think they started it they started it not having any idea what it could ever become. I agree. But because nothing had ever been that before. But isn't that everything with creation and advancement?

No, no, no, no, not everything. There's nothing like the internet. So there's nothing like these giant platforms. There's never existed a thing where all of a sudden regular people that aren't connected to CBS or Showtime or any regular network can do this thing where they can create a YouTube. Like somebody created it. A corporation got together. They put it together. They released this YouTube.

And now all of a sudden this thing is responsible for oh my god like what percentage of the world's viewing hours are YouTube it has to be bananas the numbers have to be bananas and I don't think they saw it coming and I think that's the same thing with Twitter they didn't see Twitter coming that it was going to be something

the president used to talk shit to other countries nobody had any fucking idea right it didn't exist before we didn't think about that the reason why i can say this is the same thing that happened with this podcast this podcast was not created thinking that it was going to reach millions of people i didn't know what the fuck i was doing i was just talking me and brian redband was just talking in front of a laptop it wasn't anything that was done with an intention of becoming what it became. I think that's just one of the things that happens with this new world. With this new world,

we have to be really careful when new technologies break through and become omnipotent. Well, I feel like the creation of the internet is interesting in its own right, because it's not like something tangible like the creation of an aircraft or the creation of something new in the medical industry where there's somewhat of a sort of limitation because of its tangible existence. Right.

It's a thing. It's a thing. But with the internet, like we were talking about before, human ego and ambition fuel it. And people's own directive and their own desire to have their viewpoints brought up to the light are fueling it. So it's a very dangerous, but also it's a tool and it's obviously done amazing things, but it's a dangerous tool on the other side of having people's own individual ideas fueling whatever their ulterior motives are.

There's motive behind a lot of the internet's fuel and it's just a dangerous area to get into, I think. When you talk about creations and things that are innovative and different things that are created, this thing, where's the end with it? Yeah, that's the thing that no one's considering, right? We just keep buying new stuff and keep, you know, buying the latest and the greatest of whatever the fuck we're interested in.

But an upgraded car is a lot different than a new computer. What did he say? The next... Computer program. What the f... A program, a platform, rather. I mean, that's much more dangerous than like the next Range Rover I don't know if it's dangerous if it's better

Here's the thing it's like why would Better according to who Here's what I'm saying If Apple came around If Apple came around And you know it didn't exist before But all of a sudden it existed And only Microsoft was there before you

Like ooh I like Apple better What if like a new Apple What if Orange comes around and Orange is better than Apple? Like, and then you, it's a reason why they need, hold on. It's a reason why they need competition. So if he comes up with a better platform, ideally it would make all the platforms better. The problem is like, where is this going? The real problem is not that he gets to do a new computing platform. It's a little weird. But if you go

long distance, 100, 200, 300 years from now, where are we going? We're going to get absorbed. We are. We're going to get totally absorbed. We're going to become a part of what the fuck we're making. We're going to be slaves to our own creation. I feel like with tangible things, there's a limit to it.

Our ego can't fuck it up anymore. I think that's what we do. I think that's why we're here. I think it's why we're so much smarter but at the same, like we have so much influence on our environment but at the same time we act like crazy wild chimps. So are we going to be, here's a thought and I'm sure

you've had it before. Say alien visitation is real. What if it's our future selves coming to warn us that we are going to kill ourselves that's possible too right yeah we don't know what if the the most dangerous creation is the fact that we can keep creating and that essentially is going to be our downfall well we can what was in that blunt weed good stuff we can keep creating without wondering what is going to happen ultimately. What are the consequences?

Because there's a financial reward for creating. If you're Samsung, Samsung makes these dope phones and they also make billions of dollars because they make dope phones. So everybody's balling. So they keep making doper phones. And then there's this weird battle between Apple and them. Who can make the dopest phone? Their phones have to be extra dope because they have to convince you to not use the the Mac operating system the Apple Ecosystem which everybody's addicted to everybody's addicted to those blue bubbles. You don't want a green bubble

You want a blue bubble you want to be able to send high resolution video? You can't do that through SMS text I saw you said I'm not afraid of the green. Don't be afraid of the green. Here's a question. We're In your mind, where does ethics play a role in this continuous drive to evolve and create new things? Like is it for like when these companies are upgrading everything, are ethics involved in that at all? Or is it all just a money grab? I think there is going to be some ethical considerations. But I think ultimately when you have a corporation, especially one that's public, you're beholden to your stockholders. You have to continue to make more money every year.

It's a weird system. No one's ever satisfied. If you owned a corporation with someone and you made fucking buttons or whatever, and then within the next couple of years you made a good living, but it just maintained that forever, you'd never be happy. They're never happy. If people sell stock in their company and their company just makes the same amount every year, that's not good.

They want more money every year. So it's like this crazy grind to the top. Every corporation is set up that way. Almost every one of them. Almost every one of them is set up with this concept of infinite growth. And it's really wild. Can I spark this again? Yeah, yeah, spark it.

It's really wild. You're right. They're just assuming that because someone owns stock in your company, stockholders want you to continue to improve. Hey, 14% increase over this same last year, and they want you to keep moving and shaking. That's what they want. That forces people to constantly make better and new shit, and that is eventually going to accelerate our transition between being a biological creature and being a creature

that also has electronic parts, because you're going to be addicted. The same way you can't leave anywhere without holding on to your phone eventually you're going to introduce that phone into your body i mean we're already doing it it would just be oh god i just be a little bit better so much more convenient yeah you put like a thing on the back of your head and it like just like the matrix it just locks in well it's the same thing where it comes to the idea of something and the creation of something. The idea being the motivator for the creation because you can't have a tangible object without someone thinking about it. Here's all they would have to do. What?

They put this thing in the back of your head and it gives you a little camera back there you see behind you. We're good. I got one in my car. But no, for your fucking head. That would be good for girls. No one could ever sneak up on you. Yeah, that would be great. And then if I could step on my heel and get like a heel knife, get my fucking one of these

things popped up. Oh, I would love asshole guns. Boom, boom. An ass Uzi? Here's a question. Or right off your hips, right? You're on the side of your hips and then you just blink twice and they turn backwards. Boom, boom.

You know what's crazy? I was with Justin. You know Justin Martindale? Sure, I love Justin Martindale. His mom, who was just a hilarious little spitfire. She was on a weekend with us when we were doing a show. Justin's a funny dude. He's so fucking funny.

He's fucking funny. Him and I get together and do shrooms and cry all the time. We were doing shows together in Nashville and there was a little teeny gun lighter on the bar, like the house we were at. And so I picked it up to light my joint and he smacked it out of my hand. It was his mom's purse gun. I almost shot myself in the face.

Jesus Christ. Like a Derringer? Is that what you call it? Yes, that's exactly what you call it. His mom, what is she, living in a saloon? You never know when someone's going to come out from the sides. With a Derringer. Yeah, I almost shot myself. But that's what I imagine when you're talking about little

shooting from your hips, like little teeny hip Derringer guns. That'd be nice. You shoot somebody with that, they're going to beat you to death. You're not going to kill them. They're going to be so angry at you. They're going to be so mad. That you- Shot me with a little bitch ass gun.

Why did you just turn into Christopher Walken? You shot me. You shot me. With that bitch ass gun. I can't do walking. Cal? You shot me. You shot me. With that bitch-ass gun. I can't do Walken. Callum can do it. You just did. You just did Walken.

My question was going to be, do you think- Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. Look how tiny that thing is. Two shots. It looked just like that one. That one. Yep.

Teeny. And I thought it was a lighter. Yeah, because there's a lot of lighters that look like that. I have a lighter like that. I almost shot my fucking face off Jesus Christ dude There's no joint worth that What if it actually did light the cigarette and you didn't even pause You just kept going

Because you wouldn't have shot your face off My large Sicilian nose Boom you would have blown off the tip of the cigarette No you would not You see this Dago sausage That's not how a bullet works. That's the problem. It looked just like that, but the other one that

was real. But it was a real one. Yeah, it was a real one. Get that lady a proper gun. I have a lighter that looks just like that. I was like, oh, your mom just travels with a lighter that looks like mine. That's so weird. When people have lighters that look like other stuff. There used to be a guy that used to come to the comedy store.

God damn it, Jamie. This is before your time. There was this... Young Jamie. I do not remember this guy's name, but he was from another country, and he always came by the comedy store with different lighters. He had funny lighters. And so he had lighters, like butane lighters. You'd press it, and it was like a marijuana leaf, and the leaf would glow

and pulsate. That's fun. Yeah. And he was just like a real friendly guy that you would talk to that you would see every now and then with lighters. Like that was his thing. There's always people like that. Like even, you know, before quarantine, there's always like weird circus like characters that just sort of circumnavigated the comedy store. Oh, for sure.

It was a vortex. Yes. But it was also, it had a long history of being accepting like, um, misfits.

Outliers. There was, Mitzi used to call it, she used to call it the, what was it? Island of Broken Toys? What was that thing in Peter Pan?

Island of Misfit Toys. Island of Misfit Toys. That's what she always called it. The Island of Misfit Toys. That's what she always called it. The Island of Misfit Toys. That's what it is. And she always used to think, like, the funniest thing to her was the inmates are running the asylum. She thought it was so funny.

She would leave. People would be, like, yelling in the background. She would leave. Oh, the inmates are running the asylum. She loved it. She loved, she just loved the whole thing. She loved comedy. She loved it. She just loved the whole thing. She loved comedy. She loved it.

She loved a great laugh. She loved a well-constructed punchline. She loved chaos. She just loved it. That lady's so important. Without her, comedy's a different thing because the comedians, if you're running a club,

you don't want people getting too crazy. There's a bullet hole in the sign in the back where sam kinnison shot the sign because dice clay was talking shit so he pulled out a gun and shot a sign i mean this is how crazy they were and that was you know that was mitzi's heyday that was in her era like was post you know richard prior what's our equivalent of that now not eating gluten i don't it doesn't exist in that form because she was a wild lady you know you have to think like her you know we're talking about like the history of our parents and our parents parents and our parents parents those people were never going to have people like that again because those people didn't have nearly as much information, nearly as much understanding of how the rest of the world lived.

They didn't have nearly as much knowledge, but they had much less inhibition than people have today. That's an important thing to have when it comes to being someone who's speaking for a living, especially with stand-up. You have to have a lower level of inhibition to be able to tap into your true, like I think of Tim Dillon when it comes to that. Perfect example.

Yeah. I think you're right. You have to. You have to in order to speak to the, not the true pulse, like there's one pulse of society, but definitely a pulse that's running strong where people are afraid to tap into because of what's going on now. Right, right.

You know, you think of like comedians from before my time, like guys like Carlin and even Pryor, because Pryor, I think of as like a comedian who, you know, there's like the spectrum of comedy in my mind is like prior to seinfeld and everybody in between where seinfeld being a very technical um joke writing comedian and prior being this blood sweat and tears type of comic with pure emotion and raw talent yeah perfect description and exactly you know but having somebody like prior and carlin is important for the zeitgeist of humanity and for comedy because of what they represent. They represent that raw sentiment, that raw emotion, and what you really think and feel. You know what I think, though? I think both things are important.

Absolutely. I think those technical joke writers like Mitch Hedberg, those are super important, too. You know, the Seinfeld, sharp punchline. Richard Jenny, who's one of my all-time favorites. He was amazing. I saw that guy in the 80s before I ever did stand-up.

I went to Catch Rising Star. Maybe I had done it once. I might have done an open mic night or something. But it was around the same time. And I remember watching him just rapid-fire punchline one after the other and you're like what the hell man like where's this guy coming up with all these premises how

does he understand how many things are funny and he would make a bit about buying a car and you'd be crying laughing like the way he would uh just annihilate a premise was wild yeah it's wild to watch he did he end up taking his own life he did i was trying to think of there's somebody who was at a show i was at that kind of reminded me of him um another stand-up comedian kevin what's his name from like the 90s do you know what i'm talking about jamie kevin What's his name from like the 90s? Do you know what I'm talking about? Jamie, Kevin?

He remind you of Richard Jennings? Yeah, kind of like Richard Jennings. Jenny. Jenny. Jennings. It's Waylon's kid. It's leggings. It's leggings and Jenny. I can't think of this guy's name.

He was at a show. It was at... Kevin. Can you think of any stand-up comedian from... Other than Kevin James. Not Kevin James. Not Kevin James. Kevin Pereira? Who?

Kevin Meaney? It wasn't Kevin Meaney? No. Dude, Kevin Meaney is one of the funniest guys that ever lived. He's a guy that I saw when I was like 20 years old. I saw him at Catch Rising Star in Harvard Square. I might have been 21. He was insane.

It was so funny. I was talking to Fitzsimmons about it the other day. I was like dude i thought he was i thought he had hypnosis like it doesn't make any sense like everything he's doing is so funny i thought i was hypnotized fit simmons is hilarious too he's hilarious that motherfucker he's like a little leprechaun he's awesome yeah but his uh he was good friends with meanie too but meanie was uh like during those days, he had this weird style that you couldn't even understand. Like, how does he know this is funny?

Like, we wear big pants. We're big pants people. And you're just crying. He had his own cadence. Truly, the way he would say things. Yeah. He was a thing. Like, he figured out how to be Kevin Meaney at this super high, smooth level.

It was really interesting. So different. If you looked at any of that on paper, like Kevin Meaney's act on paper, you're like, what is this? But with him doing it and the way he did it, it was magic. That's like the spectrum of stand-up, like the performance aspect of it. Some people's material drives it enough because it's so poignant and on point and uh derived from you know just stripped of fat right there's no fat around it and then somebody

like that or richard pryor or robin williams i mean you couldn't even put his shit on paper because so much of it was improvised right but the performance aspect of it like that magic no here's magic being able to like bring it to life you know and for me like i always struggled because i'm such a physical comedian i'm not the strongest writer i don't have like the cleanest setup punch and i always struggled with that because you know there's so many people in the industry that are like i don't just pricks about how comedy should be done i think that's so silly i think it's so silly because theo vaughn's one of my favorite comics ever and theo vaughn's act is so absurd it's so ridiculous the way he's his own his phrases don't come from anywhere but i love it i love it you can't tell me what to love there's a lot of stuff that i love

i love super technical neil brennan style joke writing i love uh you know really dark anthony jessel neck kind of stand-up comedy but i also love theo vaughn i love preposterous ridiculous shit he's so he's like irreverent i like he so weird. It's like, I like all kinds of music too. That's the way it should be though, you know, to have an array of art that inspires you, especially with standup. I remember watching Theo one night at the comedy store. I've known Theo for years and you know,

the ability to see someone's career span and evolve, like them evolve as artists. I remember watching him at the store and just sort of seeing that moment where he really stepped into whatever he is now yeah where he really found his voice and started to say things that were only theo-isms right right right i just remember seeing that and being like holy shit yeah this is this truly is an art form he was one of the first people like as a friend being able to see them evolve into their voice that i got to witness and be like wow that's i strive for that yeah i'd seen him a few times but you know he was always funny theo's always

been funny but there was one time that i saw him one day. I was sitting in the back of the OR, and I really sat down, and I watched a long set. I watched the whole set, I think. I was like, damn, this dude's on another level. He's on another level. He hit some new groove, and then everything he said was just so preposterous, but so funny.

He's so preposterous. That's the perfect word to describe him. He should have a tour called, I know he's on like his, what is it, Dark Arts? Dark Arts. It should be preposterous. He's such a funny dude. He really, really is. And just a good guy, too.

He's just- Naturally funny and a good guy. A hilarious hillbilly that won't let go of that- He's good friends with Dustin Poirier, the guy that just fought Conor McGregor. Beat Conor McGregor the last time. Dustin Poirier and him are really tight. They're from the same area of the country. Don't they have the same haircut?

No. Oh, I thought they had the same haircut. How dare you? They don't have both that- Gender neutral? No. That's a- It looks like they came from the hills of West Virginia.

I miss that dude. I miss seeing that guy. Dustin Poirier? No, Theo. Oh, yeah. I don't see Dustin that often. But I like Dustin. He's great.

He's a great guy. Powerful human being. But it's cool to see his friendship with Theo. It's really funny. You know? They talk Louisiana to each other. He's like a little bit of a witch. He feels like a little bit of like a-

He's a witch? What the fuck are you saying? He's kind of like a witch. He's into the dark arts, right? Yeah, he's into the dark arts. That's a warlock. He's a man. He's gender neutral, how dare you?

He can be a witch and a warlock. The haircut's gender neutral. He's not? Theo Vaughn's a man. How dare you? You're misgendering him a warlock. The haircut's gender neutral. He's not? Theo Vaughn's a man. How dare you? You're misgendering him. The dumpy butt. You got a dumpy butt.

I saw some article about Theo. Look at him. There he is. Look at Theo and Dustin. Oh, yeah. I was thinking of somebody else. Dustin's cute. Dustin's got a fucking Terrence McKenna t-shirt on.

It's a great shirt. I think that's an on it shirt. Look at Theo. I know it is. I have one of those. Look at Theo's hair. Yeah. Amazing.

He's had that cut for years. It's a good look. He don't give a shit. It works. You know? He's cute. You know, what do you want? What do you want him to do?

Thick man with broad shoulders and an affinity for building houses with his bare hands. I thought you were asking what I wanted. Oh, you went right back to it. I mean, how could I not? Jesse May Peluso staring at trained killers and Theo Vaughn getting all juicy. Yeah, this is your fault. I'm sorry. You brought me here with your

what is he, what is he, what's your guy in the front, what's he from? Keep them out of the show. Okay. Well, you've got to live private lives. Trained warriors in your yard. I got attacked by a Doberman on the way in. You guys can't see my shins, but I'm bleeding from the knees down.

Imagine if we had dogs. We should put like one of those spiked vests on Chaplin. Make him look like a shark costume. Imagine if this show got to the point where I'd have to have dogs, like guys with dogs ready to turn them loose all over the place. I honestly am surprised you don't have that. Don't you think you'd be uncomfortable watching? You're a

dog lover. Like an assassin dog. A dog that's been trained to kill. It would be my life's goal to make him a mush. You ever be around a Belgian Malinois? What'd you call me? Belgian Malinois. I don't know, but I want chocolate. You don't know what that is? You don't know what those is? You don't know what those are?

You love dogs. Aw, look at the cutie. Jamie, understand me. Is that a bulletproof vest? Pretty much. It's a coyote thing. Oh, it's a coyote thing to keep the coyotes from biting them. If you have small dogs, you know about it.

That's actually pretty cool. Yeah, so your dogs don't get eaten alive. See that? By the way, they're going to figure this out. actually pretty cool. Yeah. So your dogs don't get eaten alive. If you see that, that, that's, but yeah, by the way, they're going to figure this out. You know what?

Right now you got to put leg spikes on them too. Yeah. Coyotes will just find a way to get your dog on its belly and unstrap it. They'll figure it out. They're creepy, man. I don't smart. And that's where you have to wonder like, so that's planning.

Did I ever tell you the one that honey dick, my dog, who honey tell you about the the one that honeydicked my dog? Who? Honeydicked? Did I tell you about the coyote that honeydicked my dog? Want to hear this crazy story? It honeydicked your dog? I had a chicken coop. And when chickens...

Oh, there's so many sentences. Chickens that get to... You're like, can I put all this data together? Honey chicken. I had a chicken coop. Okay. Okay, and when certain chickens act up, they do this weird thing where they start picking out their feathers. It's called brooding.

Yes. They think, you know what it is. Okay. When a chicken broods, you have to take them outside of the regular chickens and put them in a small box by themselves where they have to stand up and hold on to the pole for like a few days. If you don't do that, they'll keep pecking at themselves and they keep trying to like, like sit on an egg and hope it becomes a chick. They get whacked out, right? Well, we had a separate cage that was for that when, when chickens couldn't be in this large chicken coop. This coyote had convinced my mastiff, I had 140 pound mastiff,

that she was his friend and We should go play with those chickens. And so my dog, who is just a giant bruiser, smashed through the gate, hanging out with this fucking coyote and goes right through the chicken coop, just smashes open this little chicken coop and the coyote runs off with the chicken so i'm in my living room with my family we're playing some game like some board game laughing ha ha fucking coyote with a chicken in its mouth is running in the back room i watch him hit the fence like a gazelle boing it was like a five and a half foot fence he just bounced over it like it was nothing or she bounced over like it was nothing and then i was like what the hell fuck happened we get up we all the kids are screaming everyone's

screaming like wow what happened what happened oh my god oh my god we go outside i expect to try to figure out what happened how this coyote broke open that thing and i see this dumbass mastiff of mine. This big fucking cement head and he's like, what? My friend and I got that chicken out. We were just here hanging out

and how long of like, I wonder what is the grooming process? I think she just hung around and barked and he barked back. They do that with dogs. They trick them into coming out and they kill them and eat them.

They do, but he was too big. His dog was too big. The coyote got in there with him and he was like hi! And he has his balls. Like he's a huge mastiff. And he's like And they were talking. They were like Well she was probably like listen, how about you help me get that chicken? I don't want to fuck with you.

I just want a snack. Don't you want me to have a snack? But she thought there's got to be some way that she knew that she could get him to get into that thing. Because it's too brilliant. It's not coincidental. Right, because your dog's not going in there on his own. He didn't go in there ever on his own.

So how would she even know? How did they even get? How did they get? She started pawing at it, I bet. And I bet he's like, I'll help you. I'll help you. I'll help you. Boom. And he just shattered that whole box.

And she's like, thank you, trick. And she just jumped over the fence. Woo. You know what that tells me? That's a testament to two things. What? One, we all need love. Yes.

And we all want to be accepted. That's true, too. And two, no matter how much love want to be accepted. That's true too. And two, no matter how much love and acceptance we have, it's never enough. Let me stop you right here. Because your dog obviously

felt a little neglected. It's about something that wanted to eat and tricked a dog that was home all day. That's what it was. Yes, but still your dog had a hole in his heart.

He had another dog with him when it all happened. I had two dogs at the time. He had a buddy. Even though your dog was big, it being a bigger meal, obviously they're very opportunistic hunters. He's way too big to be killed by a coyote. They eat quick shit. Well, they want a little dog.

He's massive. I mean, he was 140 pounds. Like I said, he was a big dog. But he was also sweet. Like, he didn't ever want to be mean to other dogs. He was always real friendly. You could trust him in there, but little kids would ride him. Like he was a sweetie pie. That's crazy. He was so sweet. He, uh, he was what's called a Regency Mastiff and his father was actually on Fear Factor and the guy who bred them, um, the dog was just like hanging out with all these other dogs.

We had this stunt on Fear Factor where they put these people in this dog suit and they try to run and they would let this dog named Curly out. And this dog, Curly, he was actually the model for the dog that was in the Hulk. The one with Eric Bana. Did you ever see that Hulk? Yes. That one? Banna. Did you ever see that Hulk?

That one? Those dogs that it was fuck, what's his name? I'm freezing on his name. The guy who trained the dogs? There was like an evil dude in the dog. It was, oh my god, I see him in front of me. Vince, Nick Nolte. Jesus Christ.

Oh my god, Nick Nolte. I froze up. So Nick Nolte's is, I'm sorry Nick God. Nick Nolte. Oh, yes. Yes. So Nick Nolte's is... I'm sorry, Nick. I just... Spoken pot. So they created this Hulk dog. That's you as a dog.

Well, this Hulk dog is based on Curly. They took Curly and then used him as a model for this Hulk dog and just made it way bigger and way crazier. Who's the great-grandfather of your dog? I don't know, but Curly's his dad. And they used these dogs, like they would use them for movies. They'd get them to do stuff. And so they used them for Fear Factor

where they put people in a suit and they had them run and the dog grabs them and just goes, bitch, where you going? Boom! And the way it like rag dolled people was so terrifying. You could not make Fear Factor today. No way. You couldn't. It was always so gross You could not make Fear Factor today. No way. You couldn't. It was always so grossed out when you guys did the fucking bugs.

Well, they were doing it recently with Ludacris. They were doing it pretty recently. Really? Yeah, like within like two years, right? How long ago was the Ludacris Fear Factor? It was pretty recent. Oh my God. That was the Belgian Malinois.

That was like episode one. Oh, that would be terrifying. Those are horrible. How do they call them off? I mean, this bitch is going to get eaten. The handlers. They probably let it roll a little longer than they should have. The dogs are just accustomed to biting those suits. It's a fun thing for them.

They want to bite those suits. But that's a smaller dog. These other dogs, we decided that too many people were running with the dogs. So we got these big-ass football players, these stud dudes, and the dog would get them and grab them by the arm and they would just run with the dog. They were just

super athletes. Just big super fucking alpha athletes, right? So they go, okay, we need a bigger dog. And that's when they brought in these mastiffs. It's a problem with humans. We need something bigger. This dumbass dog of mine, who who was a beautiful dog loved him to death but uh he got tricked to smash and open that chicken coop but he didn't get eaten because he was so big yeah they weren't gonna eat him but she tricked him into smashing open that chicken coop which is fascinating

i wish i could have watched it right like i'm wondering like how what was from the moment that they first met, whether it was with the sound or making eye contact to the moment of opening the coop. How long? That's what I wonder. How fast does that work? I bet she was hanging out with him. I bet she would bounce over the fence because she could actually jump right over the fence.

So I bet she hung out with him outside the fence. They sniffed each other. They decided there was no aggression because he was not an aggressive dog at all. And so she goes i'm gonna visit you i'm gonna visit you a week i don't it might have been it might have been months oh my god but you gotta think like i'm working at the time right so i'm either at the studio during the day or there's always if you have a dog and you have a nice yard you'll let the dog out in the yard walks he's got a pool there's a lot of shit he can do he can hang out there but when you have uh weird animals like coyotes they can get in your yard too

and they go hey man you ever had chicken you ever see what's going on here you ever see crows use tools yeah crows are so smart. Right. They can get stuff. They figure things out. They can problem solve. Right. They're almost like the chimp of the bird world. Right. Yeah, they're really, really smart.

Very smart. I think coyotes are really smart, too. They've evolved. Obviously, they're like street smart. It's like if wolves moved into the city. Yeah. That's exactly what they are. They are.

They're like little wolves. Yeah, they're street wolves. Yeah. That's exactly what they are. They are. They're like little wolves. Yeah, they're street wolves. Yeah. And they have to get very resourceful. And it almost seems like because of what their territory has evolved into them having to infringe on our civilization and houses makes them have to evolve quicker and get smarter at their tactics of how to get chicken. Yeah.

It's not like there's doors out in nature. There aren't chicken coops out in nature. There aren't fucking chickens out in nature. It's a domestic bird. With coyotes, it's actually even more complicated. They're even more interesting than wolves, really. They're smaller, so we don't think of them as being that interesting, but no one has ever been able to wipe them out.

Where do they come from? Are they a domestic dog and wolf? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. They're a type of wolf. Wow. They're just a small wolf. There's an amazing book. It's called Coyote America.

It's incredible. And it's all about the coyote and the history of the coyote in North America and how it was in the southwest. It was a small area, really. and how it was in the southwest. It was a small area, really. But when they started killing wolves and when these things started hunting coyotes and putting pressure on them, they just kept moving their territory. So now they're in every single city in the country. They're in New York City.

They have coyotes in the Bronx. That's crazy. They have coyotes running through Central Park all the time. I remember one being there and it was huge news when I was living in New York. We had one coyote and everyone was freaking out. They're in Chicago. They're in parks in Chicago. They're in people's backyards. They're killing dogs and cats. So what is that attributed to? Excuse my maybe naivete on this. Is it because their habitat is being diminished by us?

No. You could look at it that way. And it certainly is a factor, right? If people build a city in a place where coyotes used to live and now all of a sudden this house is there, you can assume that coyotes are going to stick in the same area. You know, you moved them, but you didn't. They're still there. They backed off. And then when you went to sleep, they're going to stick in the same area. You know, you moved them, but you didn't. They're still there. They backed off, and then when you went to sleep, they're going to come back to their spot again.

You took over their spot. Like, you actually, like, you're on their hunting ground. If that's the case, that's one thing. But here's another thing. Coyotes are opportunists. If they had never been to your city before, if your city existed in a vacuum and then just existed boink out of nowhere,

there was this new spot where the coyotes had never been to but they found out there was dogs in there and they could steal dogs and eat them they'd go there too so are they like controlling the population of basic bitches having shitty dogs as you sit there with your little mouthful asking for a friend asking for a friend do you know how long they've seen them in New York City? I don't know. I'm going to guess. I don't know.

What year are we in, Jamie? It's 2021. Okay. When's our wedding going to be? 2022? Okay. So probably 20. I'm going to say 2005.

I'm going to say 100 years. 30. 30 years ago. 95. One was spotted in the Bronx. And the first and only one supposedly in Central Park was spotted in 1999. So they attribute their prolific breeding to the fact that they were- Good sentence.

Thank you. After all that weed? Gray wolves would kill them because they were competitors. So because of that, they developed this kind of sophisticated roll call thing where the coyotes yell out and when they yell out there's a roll call so all the coyotes are in this pack they respond and when one coyote dies and there's no response it automatically triggers something in the females where they have more babies so female coy breed. When you try to persecute them, you try to kill them, you try to chase after them, they just have a bigger litter.

So they'll have like six coyote babies because you just killed the dad. And so you've got six coyotes now, and they just keep doing that. So they're like rats. Crazier because they're super intelligent. They're super intelligent. Do they do a similar thing? Don't wolves, don't they have a celebratory howl after a kill?

Oh, they definitely do that. I wonder if coyotes do that. No, they definitely do that. They're also letting all the other coyotes know that they killed come get some food. Because they need each other to do that. Because they can't, you can't hope that everyone kills so you're going to be greedy. You've got to pool all your resources together. I don't know why but I just heard

Ryan Sickler yelling for everybody to come get some crab. Come on! Come on y'all! Get some crab! It's Tuesday! Coyotes are... but you think about as life evolves as things change and humans expand how they're living, everything's

shifting. But again, back to that nature correcting herself, coyotes might just be something that's cleaning up something we can't see right now, don't you think? Well, they're a part of the whole ecosystem, right? If there's a reason for them existing, something has happened. And it's like it's trying to fight over dominance and to find some sort of balance. I mean, that's what all the animals are doing. All the living things all over the planet.

And when you have a thing that's a predator, which is what a coyote is, and they just have wandering through your streets, they're not going to eat anything. They don't want to eat vegetables. They're not there for that. They're there to eat things like creatures rabbits cats dogs bloody things

anything that gets out have you watched rats they eat a lot of rats New York City's got quite a few oh god the rat population in New York City

is jarring imagine if the coyotes ever figured out how many rats were there and they just and they just started having coyote versus rat wars

in the subways in New York City well then you imagine well think about why is in the subways in New York City. You imagine? Well, think about why is the rat population multiplied in New York City? There's so much trash. Here's my movie. Here's my movie. I want to hear it.

Subway. Filled with blindfolded coyotes. This is a reality show for Netflix. It gets off. It gets off in the middle Call it street meat In the middle of Manhattan And they let a thousand coyotes out of the subway

Just running You see bitches in dresses and sneakers Imagine all of a sudden every time you went to catch a train There's fucking coyotes running down the tracks Occasionally some of them will get nuked by a train I could imagine it But like the rat population evolved to cure a problem. I feel like these over-

What? What? Cure a problem? Look at all the trash in New York City. Who's going to eat the trash? But the rats, do you think they're curing that? I think that the trash started to evolve as people populated New York City. Right.

And then rats were around. And then they saw all the food they could get, saw the food they could get the endless food they could get and then they started fucking be like yo there's snacks everywhere eat your heart out eat your heart out steve erwin here's my animal i don't think they're cleaning it up i think they're a result no i don't think there's too much to clean up i think they're a result they're a result of all the garbage for sure what if they weren't there? They're a result of all the garbage, for sure. What if they weren't there? You think of the amount. We talk about your numbers.

There's a million deers that get run over every year. A billion. It's a billion. Jamie, can you look up how many rats per person in New York City? Oh, it's crazy. So why? It's the same biomass. They said the biomass of humans and rats is the same.

But we have to. You know how crazy that is? We have to ask why. Why would nature... So rats are from nature. Can we agree on that? Yeah, for sure. Why would there be so many rats in New York?

Yeah, for sure. Garbage. Garbage. So if they weren't there, there would be a huge garbage problem. A massive problem. Or they could do a better job of cleaning up the garbage. What is it? This is one rat for every four people.

That seems really low. No. This is estimated at two million rats. That's someone selling real estate. Jamie, why is this our first fight? That's someone selling real estate. I said it was low. I didn't say I believed it.

Don't you think so? Someone's selling condos. It's Lucy Simmons. Listen, if you have a rat trap, you kill four rats, you're doing your job. Oh, rat, rat. If you see a rat, it's a rat. It's Lucy Simmons. Listen, if you have a rat trap, you kill four rats, you're doing your job. If you see a rat, it's a rat. It's no problem. They're fucking everywhere. Did you ever see the Netflix documentary, Rats?

Yes. And the size of them. There was a couple times I was like, why do toddlers run on all fours? They also could have got, I mean, over the last year, they could have expanded because the trash pickup went down. Rats probably

started fucking a lot. Did you see, speaking of that. Did you hear about the rat wars? Because the restaurants were closing down so there was no garbage

where there used to be garbage on a regular basis. So the rats started going to war with each other and cannibalizing each other. Yo, did you hear about Thailand? No,

this says they're harassing outdoor diners but the ad thing popped up. You hear about the monkeys in Thailand? Similar thing with what's going on in quarantine because tourism. Right, there's nobody there. And everybody eating, they'd get all the snacks from the streets, and they started having, the monkeys were having turf wars.

That's apocalyptic. I bet you get a little chub for it, just a little bit. It is wild. It is wild that this really kind of intelligent, small primate had developed this relationship with humans that just cut off. There's no communication. Did you see, Jamie, you got pulled that video, the street monkeys in Thailand going crazy. I remember a story about it now that you brought it up. I kind of forgot about it.

They stopped traffic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I can't imagine the traffic patterns in Thailand were impeccable before that. But I would imagine a bunch of monkeys in the street would cause a little bit of a buildup. Did they go back to business? I mean, they're just taking over everything. There was, it was like. Look how many of them.

Look at them. And there was one where they were like fighting. Dude, look at that. And so look, look, look, look. That piece of food fell. Oh, my God. And there was one where they were like fighting. Dude, look at that. So look, look, look, look. That piece of food fell. Oh my God. And there's gangs. Oh, they're starving.

Look at all of them. Look how many monkeys there are. That's insane. It's like- I remember we played this before, right, Jamie? This is insane. It's from August. Dude, I forgot.

I forgot how nuts this is. Well, that's what I'm saying. There's so much information. It's been a fucking long year. We can't retain all of the information. If we had a wacky zoo show, that would also be a quote. Jamie going, it's been a long year. The chaos stuff that we talked about earlier in this podcast,

that was April of 2020, I think. Wow. The book? The book? Yeah. And we had him on the podcast. Yeah. Wow.

April of 2020. Wow. A little over a year ago. That's quick The book? Yeah. We had him on the podcast. Yeah. Wow. April of 2020. Wow. I mean. A little over a year ago. That's quick. It is quick, but then what's the, I'm scared about, obviously we're going to go back to life and everything's going to be fine and we're going to live and travel. LOL.

Oh. Or we're living in a fucking Disney movie. Please build me a tiny home in your backyard. We're living in a malevolent movie. The metaverse. The metaverse. Yeah. We're going to go in the metaverse. Just stay in your house Please build me a tiny home in your backyard. We're living in a malevolent movie. The metaverse. Yeah, we're going to go in the metaverse. Just stay in your house with a HEPA filter around your face.

The next computing program platform. It's a real problem. Let's go back to that real quick. No. Anybody creating something that's more fun than regular life is going to be a real problem for us. Because we're going to want more. Because video games are a real problem for us.

You know? Remember Atari? I do. Remember Altered Beast from Sega 16-bit? I remember Pong. Boop, boop. I don't know what that is. because video games are a real problem for us you know remember atari i do remember altered beast from sega 16 i remember pong i don't know what that is you never played pong no usually like you were twisting the nipple of a giant girl it was a thing you would have a circle and i would have a circle and your circle would make this like paddle go up and down and there would be like this little like a couple of pixels a white square that was bouncing across the screen board game

no it's like a video game there's the first video game sounds like Amish witchery how do you not know about pong dude I'm so much younger than you I know I'm so how do you not know about pong do you know sega yes okay but i'm saying it's like i know about wagons i wasn't around when they existed excuse me horse covered wagons those fucking horse pulled wagons i know about those i don't know i wasn't around when pong was the first video game and it was a console and it would hook up and you would have like an input output for video and this. And it would just be black and white.

And you're playing. What's this thing? Watch. I feel like she's trolling. We're doing it very well. Are you trolling? Yeah. How dare you.

Jamie! I was going so long. I was the look in your face. Confuse your shit up, man. I would say, you know, ordinarily I think. I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. I was doing a little trolling. I kind of believed you for a second. I was like, no, this is fucking.

This thing was so, it's so rudimentary. It was amazing. When I was a kid, I couldn't believe it. You couldn't believe you were playing the TV. You're right. So our desire to evolve, our hunger for growth is going to be our demise. You know what's really fucked? That's what the Unabomber's concept was.

The Unabomber believed that everybody that was making technology was contributing to the demise of the human race. Am I the Unabomber? No. But it's to bring this all full circle because I got to pee again. And we've been going like four hours. Holy fuck. I'm so sorry.

What are you sorry for? It was awesome. What are you talking about? Does Jamie have to get to a haircut? Don't cut your hair, Jamie. No. Jamie's going to let it? Don't cut your hair, Jamie. No, no. Jamie's going to let it grow down his ass and turn into floss. He's going to wrap it around his cock.

Nice cock ring. It's a perfect natural cock ring, Jamie, for you. I could see it. Imagine a guy could do that. Yes. He's got hair that- Well, that way you can have your hair and tie it up and then make like a belt and then you protect your dick from war.

Like a little- What kind of war what were we just about to look up so his whole deal was that he the reason why he was killing everybody was those people were all responsible for technology they were all responsible for technology. They were all responsible for what he thought was going to be the eventual demise of the human race. It was wacky shit. And everybody that read it was like, this guy's crazy.

He's out of his fucking mind. But clearly he's definitely out of his fucking mind. And also a super aggressive guy, like an angry, horrible guy because of all the things we talked about before with his childhood and all sorts of things in the CIA drug experiments yeah the whole LCD and the whole child neglect LCD that's a monitor it's a liquid crystal display it's also a great band is it yeah James Murphy LCD sound systems oh really that's really good what kind of music is that um kind of like electronic do you know what Jamie I don't. What kind of music is that? Kind of like electronica. Do you know it, Jamie? I don't know what kind of music it is, though.

I know. How would you describe it? I wouldn't. Our second fight of the day. Duly noted. You guys, all of a sudden, something's happening. There's a drift. We'll catch him at Lollapalooza next year.

There's a drift. What's the drift? I feel like you guys are drifting apart from each other. Jamie and I are drifting so far. I want to play some 80s romance music. Jamie, grow your hair out, put on a bun, and let's just sit on the dock of your lake. Do you have a small lake? No, no.

There's lakes here. Okay. There's a lot of lakes here. I don't have one. The best move is to get on that one lake that doesn't have any motors. Ladybug? Oh, yeah. That's the move.

That's the move. Who shits in it? Oh. Who shits in it? Jesus. Jesus Christ. Well, you can't let your dog drink from it. Jamie ruined everything.

Jamie ruined everything. Everyone shits in it. There's a particular type of is it a fungus? It's an algae, I believe. Algae, yeah, you're right. It kills dogs. I'm glad you told me

that was going to go to a body of water tomorrow, but I guess I'm going to stay on 6th Street. You can't just leave the dog in the ground. Yeah, you can't go to Lady Bird Lake with your dog. I literally was going to do that tomorrow. How wild is that that there's some shit that will kill your dog that's growing in the lake? What does it do to you?

What does it do to you, all these people that are diving in that lake? I don't. Hey. It's like Eli Roth's Cabin Fever. That movie. I didn't see that movie. Oh, God. Which one's that?

It's like a terrible STD. What is that movie? You know Eli Roth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he's good. He's dark. Yeah. Green Inferno.

What is this movie? Cabin Fever. One of his movies that went more mainstream. It's basically like a um virus it's me on my period um it's a it's a virus that sort of tears everybody apart dude 28 days later is one of the scariest fucking movies of all time beautiful soundtrack too cillian murphy's breakthrough performance oh I have to go back. Yeah. It was a good soundtrack.

Everything was great about that movie. Beautifully shot. It's one of the best zombie movies of all time. If not, maybe the best. I think it is too. It's moody. It really draws you into what you would do as a human being in a zombie apocalypse. It wasn't about the zombies. It was about what the zombies, it was about

what the fuck do you do if you're the last living man on earth and everybody else is dead? When that lady realizes her boyfriend got bit and she machetes him. That's my bitch. That's my, bye. When she looks at him, he's like no, no, and she just starts.

She's like that one time you winked at my sister. That's not what she was doing. I bet you she was. I speak woman. You're not going to eat me, you're a zombie. You would do this to me. I speak woman. It was spite.

Spite will get you cut off a little bit early. He's like, he got licked, not bit. She's like, we got to be sure. Oh, my God. It was a lick, you fucking asshole. His head's on the ground, you bitch. Now we know. We didn't know.

We had to be sure. Before, we didn't know. Yeah. You let my sister lick you. Isn't The Walking Dead about to do a movie? I saw they were about to do a movie. Are they? Yeah, like with Rick.

Rick was in the movie. Ooh, Rick Grimes. Bringing him back. Bring him back. Is he dead? In the show? In the show, is he dead? The headline says The Walking Dead movie is still coming, but you may have to wait for a long time.

What? Whatever that means. I'll tell you what. The first couple seasons of that show was fucking fantastic. Because of the characters. Yeah, it got a little wacky towards the end. I just think it's hard to maintain that world for very long. It's a very one-dimensional story, and that's why bringing in characters.

I think they brought in a Jeffrey Dean Morgan character in, and he kind of added a new vibe to the show. He added a human darkness to it, which is the only place you can really go in a zombie movie that's evolving is into the humans. The zombies are just fucking eating brains. I know, but that's the problem with the show. Is that it's too easy to get rid of the zombies all of a sudden. Right.

And everyone's living in these communes. The beginning of the show, the zombies were like a real threat. Remember that bitch in the grass with no legs? They were a real threat. And you're like, oh my God. And if they stormed into the house in the middle of the night while everybody was asleep, you're fucked. But then as time went on, they weren't a threat anymore. No, these motherfuckers are growing asparagus.

And what are they still eating? They're knitting. What are these zombies eating? How are they still? Rabbits. And then they build these walls and the communes are like having hummus circles. How long has it gone by? I know that season's about, like, has it only been a year?

Is it five years? It's a good question. Did they have a big jump? Because that kid's. He's 80 years old. Yeah a year? Is it five years? It's a good question. Did they have a big jump? Because that kid's... He's 80 years old. Yeah, I mean... That kid's already had a heroin addiction. He's been in and out of rehab.

Really? I don't know. He's probably doing great. Just think, young actors, it's hard in the industry. It's definitely hard. It's hard to not, you know... I just met him in the show. Oh, okay.

I went deep. Well, he lost an eyeball in the show. It's our third fight. I'm keeping track, Jamie. In the show, he lost an eyeball, and he wound up getting killed, right? Didn't he? Did he? Jesus, Joe.

This show is filled with spoiler alerts. I think everybody's already seen it. It's a long time ago. That sounded like one word. It's online. I think everybody's already seen it. Spoiler alert. The first couple seasons were fucking fantastic.

They were so good. It felt fresh. It was like one of those shows where it was a new take on zombies. And I'm a huge fan of George A. Romero. I'm a huge fan of Tom Savini, his special effects guy, who did all of that. Day of the Dead. Oh, Day of the Dead. That was crazy shit.

Night of the Living Dead. People have to realize before Night of the Living Dead, there was nothing like that movie. The idea that everybody around you was going to become a monster. Right. Like, turned. Like, what? You're in your car. I got to get out of here.

That never existed before. During the day? Yeah. I always loved those old movies where the zombies come through the window, and because of the sound editing and the technology available, you see their hands break but then the you hear the glass two seconds later and it sounds like you're nona smashing plates in the kitchen right there's always a little delay the guy working the fucking projector didn't sync it up right they're like fuck it put it to print. I love horror movies are my absolute favorite.

One of my favorite horror thriller, that whole genre, is John Carpenter's depiction of the thing. Oh, that was a great one. Kurt Russell. That was a great one. That was like one of the very first really wild special effects movies where at the time you couldn't believe that they achieved that. Right, because they used actual animatronics. When the stomach opens up. And look at that little, that looks like Chaplin.

That was Chaplin. When the stomach opens up and it chops that dude's arms off. Like what the fuck? There's so many great animatronic special effects moments in this movie. I have to pee so bad. I can't hold it anymore.

Are we done? Should we wrap this up? I mean, you can go pee and wrap. Whatever you want to do. This is your show. How long have we been going? Seven days. Three and a half.

Three and a half hours. It's up to you. Shall we wrap it or should we keep going? Whatever you want. I'm going to pee and I'll come right back. Okay. Hold on. I have to pee too.

I'm going to pee too. Good. Beautiful. And we're back thank you very much for tuning in I just we were here talking so bad it was fucking with my concentration about your sweaty balls remember that

is this water no it's coffee this is water you don't want coffee right I don't need coffee yeah you don't want me to get manic unless there's what was the last time you had coffee coffee? When I was in New York City, I went to go see my friend, you know, Citizen Cope, that band? I've heard of them.

Clarence Greenwood. He's a musician. He had his first show back at the City Winery in New York, and I went to go see him. And then I walked through my hotels at the Roxy. I love that hotel in New York so much. City Winery. Isn't that, is that where Dice is doing like a thing? He's doing like a residency?

Yeah, they're doing something. I'm doing stuff with them too. Like they're starting to have comedians. Their sound system's beautiful. Their rooms are beautiful. I think Dice is doing a residency there. They have clubs in- Yeah, he's there for a few weeks.

Two weeks? Eight major cities. When is he there? Now through August 9th. Which location? Barrick Street. Oh yeah, so that's down in New York. Is it a winery?

It's a winery, but they used to have a location in the meatpacking and then they moved onto the water. That's the best name for a neighborhood ever. God, and it's like, are you gay?

Doesn't matter. Have fun. It's a Friday. No, it's a blue collar. It's a gritty, the meatpacking district. Heck your meat. If it was a gay neighborhood and they called it the meatpacking district, I'd be like, come on, man. That's a little too on the nose.

That's twice in this podcast we did that. Oh my god, we're twins. Oh my god. I walked through the hotel and I smelled coffee and then I had a cup and it didn't fuck me up, but I was still too scared to dive in. So I've just been stuck with mud and shirts. Michael Pollan was on the show and he said like that as an experiment, he tried getting off of coffee completely for like three months and then trying it.

And then he said when he did it, it was almost psychedelic. Like how euphoric it made him feel and how amazing it made him feel. And he realized how addicted he had been to caffeine before that, that like this long absence from it really sort of revealed what it's actually doing. It is a total addiction and there is definitely, I mean, think about drugs. When people do drugs, there's euphoria. I mean, euphoria sounds great, but the other side of it is brutal. Obviously, opioids are worse than caffeine.

I don't know if caffeine's really bad for you. I don't think it's necessarily bad for you, and there's definitely a lot of studies that have been done as far as your mood and just having energy. And it's sort of, I think, helping with blood pressure. I think, as Liz Phair would say, it's all about the dosage. It's all about the dosage. She's got a new song on her album about dosages on her new album. We can't trust what people are saying about any sort of drug because there's always some... A little coffee's not bad for you. A little coffee, you know, but it fucks me up too much.

Is it crazy that I have shrooms? Well, you know what? Maybe you need decaf. Decaf has a little caffeine. What am I, going to have an O'Doul's on a boat? What kind of asshole am I? Ah! An O'Doul's on a boat is the perfect image.

Just pretending you're having fun. Yeah, this is great. Drinking fake beer. I love my kid that I see once out of the weekend. Whoa. You know. He made him a divorcee. I just assume.

I'm sorry. No. If he's drinking all this. You know, I'm an all or nothing type of girl. Yeah, that fake beer stuff is rough. Fake beer is rough. Who wants to do fake fucking beer? You know who does a good one, though?

Heineken does a good one. Heineken's got a great fake beer. That fake beer is real. Heineken beer in general is good. It's very good. I love Heineken. I feel like they have the most flavor. And I also read somewhere that they have,

as far as what preservatives are put into beers. It might be wrong. Generally, I'm interested more in stronger stuff. I like dark beers. I like Guinness. I do, stronger stuff I like like dark beers I like Guinness I like porters what was that one fucking porter I love a nitro

used to get all the time at that old studio have you ever had Einstock Icelandic dark Icelandic beer no I haven't Bjork do you know Bjork yeah the singer yeah she has nothing to do with it but she's from Iceland

oh so is that Thorin Bjornsson guy that gigantic the mountain guy so they make how do you say I don't want to

fuck up his name in case I meet him one day Jamie Thor how do you say it's he has a crazy

like Viking name put it up it's got that letter I don't know what it is here it goes oh good luck with that F F Fupa Fupa His name is, it's got that letter, I don't know what it is. Here it goes. Oh.

Good luck with that. A-fa-pa-fu-pa. Fu-pa. Fu-pa-holius. I think hap-thor. Ha-thor. I need to hear someone say it. There's a lot of guys who fight in the UFC where you have to hear someone say the way you pronounce their name over and over again.

I love to hear the teacher call that person in attendance. I always fuck that up too. When I'm doing UFC announcements, when I'm doing the weigh-ins, sometimes it's so hard to read some of these names. You need someone to break it down to you, and they even play me back, that person saying the name. But some of their accents are so powerful it's like you're trying to like imitate how they're saying right

you want to say it right you want to have respect too yeah but it's also it's like the way that if you listen to certain countries just the way their language the way they move their their tongue around their mouth when they say words it's such a different skill skill. Like if you hear people, like Spanish people that talk, they roll their arse. Yeah. Like we don't have anything like that. No, we don't. What is that new skill?

When we're doing that, we're stroking out as regular white people. Did it weird you out when you saw John Cena speak Mandarin? When the fuck did he do that? You never saw it? Where are you living? You living in some non-male oriented world? I'm living in heaven. I'm living in heaven. I'm living in heaven on earth.

You never saw John Cena do like an apology video to China? Oh, I'll fuck. Or he speaks. You're going to send me into fucking outer space. Is Jamie pulling it up? I can't believe you've never seen this. I can't. No, no.

Listen. No. Said he made a mistake. Everyone asked me if I could use Chinese to explain it. And he's talking about how tired he was. He's doing a lot of interviews. Anyway, you can cut it off. But the point being... Did he get his lips done?

There's not a word for information? Yeah, he just said information. He's like, He forgot the word. But I mean, I love Jamie's like, Oh, wow, he just did 17 sentences, but he forgot fucking information. No, it's not a word for it.

Yeah, that is interesting. I don't know. Okay, no judgment. Maybe he just doesn't know it. Why does his mouth look like that? That's what he looks like. John Cena has like a full Kardashian lip? You're just looking at him from below instead of like from straight on.

Yes, that's what he looks like. Wow, that's impressive. He's a handsome guy. Why does he know that? Anyway, the point is he learned Chinese when he was working for Vince McMahon because Vince McMahon thought it would be smart if you were going to sell these giant pro wrestlers to overseas, you would get a guy like him to learn Mandarin. So he actually learned it.

And what was this in response to? Is this his first time us seeing him speak this language or do people know this only the first time me seeing it other people have seen it right jamie there's been a bunch of those right that's pretty badass it's amazing thing to learn yeah i mean that's it's you think about english and italian spanish there's a similar background is it like a germanic or whatever our basis is for our language there's like three different types of is it like a Germanic or whatever our basis is for our language? There's like three different types of language basis.

Asian language is so difficult to learn. It's not like you were saying there aren't sounds and things like that in our culture that are similar to anything in a Chinese or Japanese dialect. It's really difficult to learn. Really difficult. You have to change the way your mouth moves. Yeah, for sure. You hear some of the sounds they make. You're like, how do you recreate that? You have to learn how way your mouth moves. Yeah, for sure. You hear some of the sounds they make.

You're like, how do you recreate that? You have to learn how to recreate it. Even like an Arabic language, which sounds so beautiful. Have you ever heard there is a fake Italian song where this guy was an Italian singer and he pretended to be singing in English, but he didn't understand English. So he just made up English. Have you ever heard this? It's really, it's pretty amazing.

Is he pulling it up? Watch this. Yeah, he's going to pull it up. Am I going to freak out? Watch the video. Because watch this guy dancing around. It's really fascinating when you watch a guy dance around. He's like teaching in front of a class, but he's talking.

In the cold maze of stay warm, freezing cold, and ice and I choose all. All right. So it's like he doesn't really know English, but he's going to pretend he does. Like, listen to this. It's really weird. It's kind of good. And if you watch the video, it's really interesting. What's the present colon calling it? Listen to this.

Did you just say your cuddle balls are dying? He's making up words. I heard your cuddle balls are dying? He's making up words. These are not real. I heard your cuddle balls are dying. Listen to this. He said your cuddle balls are dying. No, he's just making noises, Jesse May. He's pretending he knows how to speak English.

He's just making noises. Like, repeat noises. It's so weird how your brain, because it's constantly geomapping sights and sounds, it wants to make sense of what he's saying. What gets even more weird, because he's got, like, a chorus. No, I don't. Who's? So this is.

Looks like Henry Winkler. How do you say his last name? Winkler? Winkler? Henry Winkler. The Fonz. The Fonz. He kind of looks like the Fonz.

A little bit. Listen to this. They just made up a bunch of words. All right, there's one word. Yeah, that's a real word. Is this what they played? Is this how Manson got people to join his group? No, acid. We already covered that.

This is acid. Tell me this is an Italian acid, which is pure. It is pretty weird, though. When you watch someone do a fake English voice. Well, you think about the evolution of language and the different types of languages there are in the world. It's all just sound and correlation and it having to you know have to do with something that it's just sounds yeah that we've made sense of right there's sounds and you attribute those sounds to thoughts right ideas or objects yeah

yeah it's it's not like anything specific it's just something we've figured out how to understand we all agree on it and we all agree on it that's a mug I was like is was like, yes. This is a table. Right. Right. You have headphones on. Headphones. Right? But if you're in another language, like, bong, bong. Like, okay, what is that? How do you say it? And then you have to point. You point. Oh, okay. You have a different. Bong, bong. This is bong, bong.

Make up a new one. You can make up a new one tomorrow that we all universally agree on. How wild would that be? If the computers came along and said, you know, we got a problem. Here's a big problem. I don't know what the fuck you're saying. I can't read your writing. I can't read your shit. I don't know what the fuck you're saying. I can't read your writing. I can't read your shit. I don't know what you're saying. How about we all learn this one new language and abandon all these other stupid languages

that have been around for the beginning of time? Well, there is one on Instagram. It's called Basic Bitch. Basic Bitch. I don't think that's it. What are you even doing? It's girls that talk like this. Are you not on a river?

Why aren't you on a river? If you had to guess, what is the person that knows the most languages, that could read and write the most languages on earth? Buddha and Jesus. No, no, like a human. What number? How many languages do you think a person could be so, where they can be fluent in all these languages? What is the number? I don't know the number, but I think I would know

what nation they're from. What do you think? I think it's probably between Russia or China. And I'm going to go China. He's from Liberia. Liberia? Man.

Yes. And I'm going to say he knows 20. Well, Liberia. That's that place. It says he's a Liberian born Lebanese polyglot polyglot isn't that multi-lingual yeah multilingualist how many languages 59 claims to speak 59 yeah and you know what Giselle Paduncane says she speaks five I want to see proof and the Guinness Book of World

Records use I mean he's gained one since 1998. Wow. So he's just a language genius. Some people have the ability to, you know. It says he can only speak 15 of them. But he understands 59? He can read 59? Yeah.

Imagine that. He can only speak 15. He can only fluently speak 15. He's like, he didn't know information. Without preparing. If someone tells you they know three languages, you're just speak 15. You can only fluently speak 15. It's like you didn't know information. Without preparing. If someone tells you they know three languages, you're just in awe. Impressed. And they're never American.

If someone says they can only speak 15, I can only speak 15. He was then, well, it's okay, follow up on the Wikipedia. In 1987, he was tested on Chilean TV program where they asked him a couple questions from guests and people all over the world, Egyptian, Arabic, Finnish, Russian, Chinese, Persian. He failed in fully understanding and properly answering all of them but the first. These included, and then they listed the ones that I guess he sort of understood. So it's a claim more than it is a title. That's why I said he claimed to speak 59.

This might be a dumb question, but since you're there, how many languages are spoke in the world? Spoked. Motherfucker, you said mated. Mated. How many languages are spoke? I think they mated about 120 languages. Are spoken?

If I had to guess, no. In the world? I'm going to say 70 languages. I think that's a fair guess. No, that's not enough. That's not enough. That's not enough. It's probably 105. Not made up.

I'm going to go full Joe. A million. I'm going to mill. 65. Oh my god. Holy shit. Can I have a follow upup question while you absorb this? What's the most uncommon, like the most...

Sadly, some of these are less widely spoken. Right, what's the least spoken language? 6,500 on the list. Yes, I wonder if that's some form of Indonesian. A billion people speak English. It's slightly more than Mandarin. Wow. Oh, Banjo's catching catching up though, son.

Oh, fangol. Fangol. You know, my friend Adam Greentree, he lives in Australia, and he's in the mining business. Yikes. It's dangerous. And he works with a lot of the aboriginal people, and a bunch of them work for him, and they work with him. And he said that they'll have what they they don't

they don't call themselves tribes they call themselves mobs and an aboriginal they call mobs that's what they call themselves right but they will have a different language than another group that's only like 30 miles away total different language and this is like hundreds of different languages i wonder like what is this this answers our question wow broadly 7139 languages are spoken living languages in 2021 but roughly 40 are endangered which means that less than a thousand people speak that language now that's that's an interesting place to start what do those people do on a daily basis what's their culture like i would imagine if there's a dying language we're like four hours and we're talking about dying languages okay don't worry about it do on a daily basis? What's their culture like? I would imagine if there's a dying language

we're like four hours and we're talking about dying languages. Who cares? Don't worry about it. If there's like a dying language, what is their environment like? That's where my mind goes. Because if you think of like these aborigines who are speaking dialects that are different from people who are hundreds of yards from them, their

language must reflect how they exist. Right. So how are they existing? And what's going to happen to their ability to adapt into whatever that next language or culture is? Because they're going to have to. They're going to have to evolve into something else if their language is dying. Right.

Yeah. You got to learn a new language. Learn the language of the people around you. And is that a real, I mean, it's a loss for sure. Right? language learn the language of the people around you and is that a real I mean it's a loss for sure right like people get real sad when when things change and it's I think it's connected well it's also because it's like it's important to know historically the way these people spoke but it's also connected to our own mortality yeah like I think we're worried about us getting extinct right not mattering yeah we see like an animal that's going extinct. We're like, no, we're going to protect it.

We're going to keep it alive. But 90% of everything that's ever existed has been extinct now. Right? That's a high point of this fucking podcast. But that's what they say. I think that's the number. I think it's something like 90% of all species that have ever existed are now extinct. I think that's the way it has to be.

Exactly. It's a balance of it. How can something be important if everything is important? That's why you're going to get that third eye right in the back of your head. Just drill that in there. See behind your back. Okay, here's one for you. How can people say nothing matters?

It's a silly thing to say. Stop breathing then, bitch. Exactly. And also, how can nothing matter when literally everything is matter? It's all matter. It's all it is. Exactly. And also, how can nothing matter when literally everything is matter? Yeah. It's all matter. It's all it is. Yes.

It's all a form of energy. It's a way of tapping out. But some of the people that are doing it, they're doing it because of all that shit that we said earlier when we were talking about Ted Kaczynski. Will, power,

will. People got fucked. Free will and. Determinism. Yep. Determinism more likely. It's like, sure you have some free will, I think. you have some ability to decide what to do and not to do but it's based a lot on what you've experienced in your life most of it in your ability to process

your trauma and also acknowledge whatever existent trauma you have that you adapted adopted from your parents and whatever ancestral trauma they had. We come with so much. Yeah. And we live in a society where it's not really built for us to have a self-awareness moment. We got to go, go, go, go, go.

And when you go, go, go, go, go, you just keep shoving down all the traumas that happen to you throughout a day and you don't process them. And we wonder why we have people who explode and people go postal and people react in ways that aren't deemed a healthy way to react. Well, we're constantly absorbing trauma and not expressing it. And where does it go?

Trauma is just energy and it's compacted energy. And it's almost like our own internal nuclear warfare. It's our own nuclear bombs. And if we don't figure out how to release it in different ways, it's gonnaed energy. And it's almost like our own internal nuclear warfare. It's our own nuclear bombs. And if we don't figure out how to release it in different ways, it's going to come out somehow. Right. Most people that commit violent crime have had violent crime committed around them, to them, in their family. It becomes a part of a cycle. Right.

And it's like a – I don't know if that's true. I just made that up no i i believe that true no it does i mean when you look at like i think i read that but i'm not sure well especially children who are neglected oh yeah children who are um physically abused they're more susceptible to becoming yeah you know these violent types of people and there's all kinds of things that make a person who they are, right? Right.

And like you said, there's so many factors that influence that. If we're talking about free will and determinism and abuse and neglect, it's such a potpourri of toxicity that you can't even put it under a microscope and really identify everything. Well, it's one of the reasons why there's so much like angst in this society. Like just if you just looked at only America right now, it's like there's people that have, they got a terrible hand in life. It's terrible. Whether they're living in the mountains of Kentucky in some, you know, Oxycontin land where it's former miners. They're living in mobile homes. You ever see the Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia? You ever see that documentary?

Oh. Oh, my God. You never seen it? You've seen it, right, Jamie? For sure. It's amazing. Johnny Knoxville produced it. Is this the fifth one?

No, it is a wild documentary. These people that live in West Virginia, they just sell pills. They're all criminals. Everyone is like, Billy Joe done shot me. Like, I'm telling you. West Virginia is like, it's literally wild. You have to watch this. It is one of the wildest documentaries

I've ever seen. I'll watch it if you watch the movies I told you to watch. The kids drinking Mountain Dew all day and doing backflips on the bed. And the wife is like, my name's Peggy Sue. I've always been the sexy one in the family. Give me a little preview here. Johnny Knoxville? Oh, yeah.

Johnny Knoxville's a bad motherfucker. He is a bad motherfucker. He produced this. He's a visionary. I've driven through there. Can you tell me about the reputation of the White family in Boone County and West Virginia? I'd really rather not comment on that. When you represent the Whites, you don't know what you're going to get into.

Shootings. Armed robbery. Embezzlement. Forgery. Drug cases. Burglary. Fights. Things like that.

Is that Ryan Sickler? No, this is one wild fucking family. Cut them joy cam on people. Is that Ryan Sickler? No, this is one wild fucking family. That's me out of quarantine, by the way. That's Mammy White. That's me out of quarantine, by the way. That's Mammy White. That's me. There used to be water in the back. I used to try a little

coke here and there. I smoked a little crack. Right here, listen. You want to hear the Boone County rating call? Sound good, baby? That's pretty good. Why do I look like

I could play any role in that movie? You do not. How dare you? Thank you. It's amazing. You need to watch it. It's sad, but it's real.

Okay, when you look at someone like that. People don't know. They don't know that there are folks like that out there. That's a real group of humans. Well, isolation creates interesting cultures. And limited access to any sort of evolving society whether it be a fucking dollar store down your street or a fancier dollar store is an evolving society well i think as a trend you know as a woman on the road there's a lot of threadbare towns oh yeah and there's one of my

favorite towns is in monroe utah uh it's called it's monroe and there's one of my favorite towns is in Monroe, Utah. It's called, it's Monroe. And there's this really cool place. I'm not going to say what it is because I don't want to blow it up. I feel like, what's his name from the beach? Remember Leonardo DiCaprio? So that's how I feel about this town. But they had a dollar store and I was like, okay, at least if you have a dollar store. You're legit.

I know there's meth, but I also know there's some chicken breasts. You can buy chicken at the dollar store? Well, I mean, in the town, there's meth, but I also know there's some chicken breasts. You can buy chicken at the dollar store? Well, I mean in the town, there's meth and chicken breasts. There's a little bit of like, there's some stability. That is a problem when you go to a place

and there's literally no good food. When there's no good food. Oh my God, what are we eating? Any identifying brand. And as much as I don't want to shop at like, you know, a fast food or anything like that at least it symbolizes a little bit more of civilization this shit where these people live yeah it gets rough up there you're there's no there's a there's a corner store with flickering

lights and that creature from the movie splinters is rolling around underneath near the gas pumps. You know, my friend Clay Newcomb, he's been on this podcast before. He has a podcast called the Bear Grease Podcast, and it's all about people that live in Appalachia. That's what I'm talking about. He was talking about, he had an episode recently about NASCAR, and NASCAR was all moonshiners. And moonshiners were a bunch of people making illegal liquor, and they did it by the moonlight

because they couldn't do it during the day because the smoke would attract cops. And people trying to jack your shit. Yeah, I'm sure that too. Tom Hardy made a movie about that. Did he? Yeah, exactly what you're talking about. There's a Tom Hardy movie about the origin of the moonshine industry. Oh, what is it?

Was it good? It was great. It was like a sleeper film. I was like, what's this? Oh, no shit. And I love him. Yeah, it's called Lawless. Lawless.

It's about the family, him and his brother. Yeah? Put it on your list. Let me see a motherfucking preview, Jamie. That's yours. Oh, it's got Shia LaBeouf. Oh, Shia LaBeouf. It's really good.

It's a great cast. You would love this. You should put this on the top of your list. This, Becky. 2012, huh? It's good. Oh, wow. We got a chance to make a good stack of money here.

Pure corn whiskey. It's a white lightning. White lightning. It's crazy because that is really what happened in this country. They told people you can't drink anymore and they're like, oh really? And then it just gave birth to organized crime. Right, people figuring out how we'll sell it. You guys won't have any involvement.

And then I feel like the craziest part is like the people coming in to steal it were people working for the government. So this guy was explaining on the podcast, it was really interesting. He was like, these folks who were making all this money moonshining, they had to invest it somewhere. You can't just have cash laying around. Like, where'd you get this cash? You didn't have a job. So they had to start businesses.

So they got involved in a lot of businesses. And he was saying that a lot of big corporations had their start with moonshine money. You know who had a start with moonshine money? Kennedy's dad. Oh, that makes sense. They were moonshiners. Pull uphine money? Kennedy's dad. Oh, that makes sense. They were moonshiners. Pull up that. Make sure that's true.

Well, you know what? We did Google it once and they said it's probably true. I believe I remember he was brought in to help create the laws that stopped all of it because he knew about it. Right. I mean, that seems really fucked up. Crazy. To come in and shut it down?

Give me the loot. Give me the loot. They were all driving moonshine cars, so they were probably wild fucks. That's the thing about all the shit that goes down and the origin of something that's deemed illegal and then who comes in to shut it down, it all gets really murky. Could you imagine if you're in a high-speed chase with the cops with essentially gasoline in bottles in the backseat? In the shittiest, you're in a horse and wagon. Terrible cars.

Because of the moonshine era, they're not in chargers. Well, as the cars got better, see, the moonshine era wasn't just after Prohibition ended. See, the moonshine era wasn't just after prohibition ended. So prohibition ended in the 1930s, but they kept making illegal alcohol because it was unregulated and they can sell it. And they like he was going over the fact that was a lot of his like widows. Widows got into it. People that were abandoned. People who needed to survive. People needed to survive.

And then that culture eventually went to either weed or maybe meth. Definitely. They shifted when there wasn't like – and then there became like this craft moonshine market. It was a really interesting episode. And it was basically just talking about how these folks – History.com article about a Joseph Kennedy biographer saying that that was all myths and rumors to help sort of give potential reasons as to why the mafia would have wanted JFK dead. That dude sounds like a fanboy.

I'm asking. Sounds like a fanboy. That sounds like some bullshit right there. I'm not buying into your logic and truth. No, I'm not buying that bullshit. I want that guy to be, he's a fanboy. Shut him down. The father was never running whiskey.

In fact, he had a diamond mine in his backyard. There's a bunch of other criminals who claim that they worked with Kennedy the whole way, but then they denied it. Oh, well, they probably put a gun to their head and showed them a picture of Hillary Clinton. Oh, my God. Shut your mouth.

She's coming. If we only knew just an iota of the truth. Of what actually has happened? Just a little bit. You know, when I go out to eat, I like to have a iota of the truth. Of what actually has happened? Just a little bit. You know, when I go out to eat, I like to have a little bit of everything. Yeah. A little bit of this, a little scoochie of this, a little scoochie of that, a little scoochie of that. I think the same

with the truth of the conspiracies that people constantly circulate. There's something to some of them. There's something to aliens, to the JFK thing, to the MKUltra thing. Oh yeah. To the origin of moonshine And even like What really happened

With the war on drugs Why was that created Just a little Still happening We're winning Drug side's winning Oh yeah Hell yeah

Bill Hicks had a whole bit About it right I just did a show Of Bill Hicks Where they It was Bill Hicks Saget And John Mayer

Was supposed to show up But he couldn't And me Bill Hicks is dead. I'm sorry, Bill Burr. I was letting her go with it. I was seeing where it was going. Guys, where is this happening?

She's trolling again. Bill Burr. Bill Hicks did have a great joke, but I was Billed wrong. Yeah, Bill Burr has a lot of great jokes too. I had my name on the mark. He is Perloff. Perloff? P-E-R-L-O-F. What is that? It was Bill Burr, Bob Sag the mark. He is Perloff. Perloff? P-E-R-L-O-F.

What is that? It was Bill Burr, Bob Saget, and Jesse May Perloff. Perloff? How did they get Perloff out of Peluso? I don't know.

Maybe they thought I was a dentist. Perloff. Did someone just invent that name? Somebody, like, you can't just. Someone doesn't like you.

I know I'm not. Someone's mad at you. Nearly as big as Saget or Burr. But know my name, bitch. Know my, know my name, bitch. God bless bitch. Know my name, bitch. God bless you.

Know my name, bitch. But Bill Hicks, yes. That's all you could ask for, someone knowing your name. Fucking A. Spell it right. Double check. Thank you for validating that.

I felt like an asshole being like, why can't you just... I'm the only chick on the show. What is it? What's her name again? Perloff. Are you sure? Fuck yeah, I'm sure.

I've been here for three years. This show is over. Shall we bring it on home? Because I've got to pee again. I know. But we love Bill Hicks. R.I.P. For sure.

I'm sorry I took that into a whole other area. No, it's just sometimes that happens. Especially with this blunt. Did we drink a whole bottle of scotch? No, no, no. We only had two drinks. As stepdads? We're all right. He's like day drinking. that happens when especially with this this blunt and this did we drink a whole bottle of scotch no no no we only had two drinks a stepdad's we're all right he's like it was the blunt that was the issue pretty sure that's a good blunt not bad oh did you hear my throat yeah i was like yeah all right let's wrap this up uh tell everybody how they can get a hold of you

by the way that's right how fun was was this? It's so much fun. So much fun. I missed you so much. I missed you too. I couldn't wait to give you your gift. Couldn't be more fun to hang out and have fun like that. Jamie and I had four marital fights. Five, I think. I think you guys had four, but you're going to work it out.

We're going to work it out. The whole point, well, not the whole point, but I have a show that came out on Netflix yesterday. What is it? Tattoo Redo. So please watch it. It's amazing. When did you start doing that you start doing that i didn't even know we filmed it in quarantine oh no shit yeah we did a closed set during quarantine and filmed the fuck out of it i it was what is it uh it's a show where people come in with really terrible tattoos like literally the worst tattoos you've ever seen and they get covered up

by five amazing artists. We have some of the greatest tattoo artists around the country. Tommy Montoya, Miriam Lupini, Rose Hardy, Matt Beckerich, and Twig Sparks.

We had Chris Nunez on staff who was from Tattoo Inc. And we have the best production company that shot it, Kevin Bartell. That's cool. That's Rose. Rose tattooed me. I have a tattoo from her on me.

What'd she give you? She gave me a rose. Oh. Yeah. It was really, it was a fun show to shoot. You know, it was hard because of quarantine and everything.

And I also was in the process of losing my mom during all of it. It was tedious, but also one of these things in your life where you have an opportunity and you just have to fucking do it. You're hosting it and fucking with people. Yes. Oh, my God. What were you thinking when you got that Tasmanian devil with a boxing glove? A hundred percent.

There's me getting tattooed. Look at your face. Look at your face. Yeah, people come in with the worst tattoos and they don't get to see it until it's done. They don't get to choose it. It was a ton of fun. So please watch that.

Please watch it. Sharp Tongue Podcast. Sharp Tongue Podcast. I'm out on tour now. How do they get to the information? JessieMay.com And I have a new podcast Coming out called Girl

Alright Yes My friend I love you so much I love you too So much fun today So much fun Please find me a very strong

We'll find you some Viking type fella Thank you Some gorilla David Bautista I'm looking for you And Brad Pitt Tell him to get that wolf

Off of his dick No it was like a skull On his belly button I'll tell him where He can put his wolf Why don't you just Back out of our relationship And the end Brad Pitt. Tell him to get that wolf off of his dick or whatever. No, it was like a skull on his belly button. I'll tell him where he can put his wolf. Why don't you just back out of our relationship? And the end.