The Joe Rogan Experience - #1694 - Ms. Pat & Jordan E. Cooper

Episode Date: August 11, 2021

Ms. Pat is a standup comedian, a host of "The Patdown" podcast, and star of the BET+ series "The Ms. Pat Show." Jordan E. Cooper is a playwright, writer and co-creator & executive producer of "The Ms. Pat Show."

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Oh, hello, Ms. Pat. Hello, Joe Rogan. Good to see you again. Please introduce your friend. This is Jordan E. Cooper, the co-creator of The Ms. Pat Show. Which, by the way, is a fucking hilarious show.

I was nervous. When friends say, I got a new show, you're like, way, is a fucking hilarious show. I was nervous. When friends say, I got a new show, you're like, oh, I gotta watch this shit. Because so many times you watch your friend's show and it's not good.

Your show is fucking good. It's a real solid sitcom. Thank you. Bravo. And right out of the gate, it's solid. You know, sitcoms take years to get their legs.

At least a few episodes. But right out of the gate, your show is very solid. I wish you knew how hard it was for me to text you to ask you to watch it. I text, I type the text, and I was like, oh, I can't. Because I know how honest you are. And then when I was like, it took me months. And I was like, but I got to ask him.

Because I was like, if Joe like it, then I feel like it was a seal, a solid foundation. And I was like, if I could just, because I got already to watch it. He's like, it's really good. And I was like, I just want to see if Joe will watch it. And I know how fucking busy you are. And I kept, when I sent the text, I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God, he's not going to watch it now.

And when I hit you back, hey, and he was like, I'm in the Mediterranean. Whatever the fuck that word you use. You're somewhere where birds don't have wings, but they still fly. You was on vacation. Where was I? Somewhere rich people go. Birds don't have wings wings but they still fly. You was on vacation. Where was I? Somewhere rich people go. Birds don't have wings but they still fly?

What kind of riddle is this? What the fuck? It's called a crackhead. That's called a riddle. Birds don't have wings but they still fly? I just imagine that's where the fuck

you was at. I can't. Something heavily placed. I can't afford to go. Oh, okay. I was on vacation. You was on vacation vacation I think you said you was in the Mediterranean

I'm fucking up the word probably the Caribbean it started with an M M? I don't fucking know I was so probably we was texting

so and when you started to text me like what you the jokes in the show I was like you don't know how much air went out of my titties

that day Joe it's a good show I'm very happy it's a good show The jokes in the show, I was like, you don't know how much air went out of my titties that day, Joe. It's a good show. I'm very happy it's a good show. I'm very happy. It's rock solid. It really is. Thank you. We worked our ass off to get it.

It was so hard with a comedy because to me, comedy is so rehashed. And I feel like Hollywood is so out of ideal. That's why we're getting all these fucking reboots. Even with the pilot, we went through the hand and toe to make sure you haven't heard it. Original jokes. The original jokes.

And a lot of it is my stand up. And so that was another thing. I was like, should I send you all this? Oh, his auntie's opinion. And I asked you for your auntie's opinion. You was like, oh, Pet,

I really don't want to watch it because I don't like watching my friends. I said, just watch the shit. You can't hurt my feelings. I've been shot. I've had gunner real. I've been hit by the freaking fucking thing. Give it to me, Joe. Like, hard

dick with no condom. And so you text back and I immediately text him and say, look what fucking Joe Rogan said. The N-word. And I pulled it. Because your fucking podcast is so big.

She said the N i'll jump again fuck you but um i even said it in the past on here well i i take it so i said nigga look what i said wake your black ass up nigga joe rogan like our show and like i said it takes a while like when when I did news radio, that was in the 90s, it took like four or five episodes before the show really started finding its way. It takes a while. It does. It does.

I like for – I first saw Pat like maybe – I was a senior in high school. I'm 26 now. I was a senior in high school. My dad had recorded her on this daytime talk show, and he was like, you got to watch her. Harry Connick Jr. Yes, Harry Connick Jr. Harry Connick Jr.

I remember that show. You were on that show? Yes. Yep. Wow. My dad was like, you got to watch her. She's hilarious. You'll love her.

You'll love her. And so I sat down and watched, and I just fell in love because I like to do the type of comedy where it's like you laugh over the pain, you laugh over it, you laugh through it, and that's her life. That's Miss Pat.'s miss that's her brand and so i was like damn like whenever she gets a book i'm gonna read that damn book like i'm gonna study it that's gonna be my shit then i got to college book came out it was like 35 i couldn't afford it so i screenshotted i was like i'm gonna come back and i'm gonna get this book when i get some money never was able to get the book but i

wrote this play called ain't no more that went to the public in New York what's it called it was called Ain't No Mo and it was at the public theater and Lee Daniels saw it and after he saw it he was like hey we're trying to do a TV show for this comedian her name is Miss Pat but we don't really have a concept nobody really knows what they want to do so can you just read her book and see if you can come up with a concept for a show and I was just happy to get the damn. But I read it and I just fell in love and I immediately saw this sitcom in my head. Because I'm a big fan of like old school sitcoms like All in the Family, The Jeffersons, Good Times with a live studio audience. And I just felt like putting like her in this dollhouse of a sitcom and just burning all of it down. Put your hands down, son.

Goddamn, you're talking with your hands. Goddamn, Joe Rogan. It's true from our talk. He's expressing himself. I'm a homosexual. We talk with our hands. Homosexual. He's expressing himself.

Now you're out here trying to get me on the spot. Let him express himself. Is that what he's doing? Yeah. With the hands? No, he's throwing that gay shout out. It's a mating call.

You didn't hear? How do you get men with your hands? It's a mating call. Dick, Dick, Dick. You just said Dick. That's it? I'm learning so much today. Birds who fly with no wings.

This is how you get Dick. Put your hands down, Joe. You can get Dick. Put your hands down. For you to be 26 and to create a show is pretty fucking amazing it was a ride Joe

because when Lee first brought this kid to me and I'm honest and I know Hollywood is full of shit and it's so hard to get people in the industry

not to sound like a talking fucking Ted everybody say the same goddamn thing and I was just I have to break him down either you be honest with me or I don't fuck with you so when I met him and Lee was like oh I got this kid he fell out of heaven and da da da and I'm like okay Lee and he told me I'm in I'm in fucking Utah so I'm performing he said get your ass on the plane you gotta go see the play it's the last night I said uh I don't know if you know how this shit work but I'm a

comedian I'll get paid tomorrow and I ain't going no goddamn where. I need my little pennies, okay? So they put me on a plane. I flew over to watch him. And I pick up me. I deal with people with spirits, your energy. I can just tell if you're a good person. I can tell when shit is going to happen.

And when I met him, I said, he could do it. And the first thing I did, I called him. And I said, they're never going to give you this job. He said, but Lee said they're going to hire me. I said, no, they're not. He said, why you say that? I said, because you ain't never did shit and they don't understand. Hollywood want what everybody else's want.

They don't want you until somebody else done fucked you and bust your booty hole. I mean, take that out. Take that out. No, keep it in there. Keep it in there keep it in there Hollywood don't want you I didn't know I didn't mean to say that

it's true you did mean to say it you meant it you're trying to get me canceled no I'm trying to get you elevated they don't want you

until somebody else doesn't bust you in it's true now he got all kind of interviews but I sat him down and I said they're going to take you

to fancy dinners and try to blow your fucking mind. I said, if you listen to a real nigga like me, we can do this. I said, now I'm going to be honest with you. Lee is busting his ass to get this job for you. I said, but while Lee is busting his ass to get you this

job, let me show you how to get this job. He said, what I got to do? I said, let's write a pilot behind these motherfuckers back. And I started to tell him what the other two writers wouldn't listen to me on. And he listened. And we wrote that motherfucking by eight days.

So when we finished it, I said, he put his name on it. I said, take your fucking name off. Which I was like, what? I was like,

what? Because, let me tell you what, I'm a hood bitch.'m a hood i mean i'm i everything for me come from the knowledge that i got from streets okay you can never outsmart me because i'm fun you might can spell a word right but motherfucker i got google and two daughters with a college degree so i get your ass back on that too so i told him i said take your name off he's like why i said because if they don't like it they're not gonna give you the fucking job

but if I tell them I did it I'm the star of the show they're gonna oh Miss Pepper throw that shit in the trash can

we're gonna get you a writer so what we did he took his name off I said one thing you ain't never gotta worry about me doing is stealing shit from you I'm not that type of person

I said what the fuck I look like stealing shit these people know I can't spell all this shit correctly that's exactly and that's exactly what she did she called Lee I said, what the fuck I look like stealing shit? These people know I can't spell all this shit correctly. And that's exactly what she did.

She called Lee and she sent it to Lee. And Lee Carr said, who the fuck wrote this? And she said, me. He said, no, you didn't, bitch, because everything's spelled right. That's what he said. And I said, and that's when I said, me and Jordan wrote. And you want to hear something so crazy? So this kid just graduated college, right?

And he was like, just drop out of college. You're going to be a fan. I said, don't you drop out of fucking college. So I asked him, I said, do you have final draft? He's like, no, he's poor as fuck. He said, I don't have final draft. I said, nigga, take my credit card. Take my debit card.

Go buy you some grocery have a final draft. I said, nigga, take my credit card. Take my debit card. Go buy you some grocery and buy a final draft. All I imagined had me interviewing writers, Joe. Me and him, I said, right, nigga, right. They got me another interview. Right, nigga, right. But what's funny, though, it was something I was talking about this yesterday. I was like, it takes a lot to earn Pat's trust in that sense. Because she was literally, it was like she was entrusting me with her comedy and her story.

And so, like, it was funny where, like, I would write a draft of something and I would send it over to her. And she would read it. She'd be like, nigga, why you got me cussing? I said, because that's how you talk. She said, nigga, I don't motherfucking talk like that. Take that shit out. I said, no, that's how you talk. She said, nigga, I don't motherfucking talk like that. Take that shit out. That's how you talk. And I was like, we have to do a new kind of sitcom. I wanted to do something where it's like you could just be yourself.

You know, because you look at all those old shows. You look at Sanford and Son with Redd Foxx or even the Richard Pryor show that he had for like three seconds. It's like imagine if he was just allowed to be himself. That show would have lasted forever. And it's like, imagine if he was just allowed to be himself. Right, right. That show would have lasted forever. Well, Sanford and Son, Redd Foxx got as close as you can get on a network television show to being Redd Foxx. Yep, exactly.

About as close as you can get. Exactly. But they don't do those anymore. They scared. And when he came to me and he said, well, actually, after we wrote the pilot, they immediately gave him a job. After we wrote the pilot, they was like, this kid can write. And I told him, I said, see, I know what the fuck I'm talking about. Because Hollywood is so stripped.

They scared to step outside the box. They're going to give you the same old bullshit. We need a black writer. Well, that black writer might not understand what the fuck Miss Pat trying to do. And I went through a few that did not understand what I was trying to do. With him, I took him and I said if you just listen we can create something just listen to these stories i just need you to put the in the right form and he did and he got the job well as a 26 year old man you're willing to take chances too that's something when people

get to be 46 and they've got all this stuff behind him and then they're worried about offending or they're worried about pissing off the network or they're worried about you know getting on the wrong side of the executives you gotta believe in your project huh I say you were scared of me I was cuz he pushed me he was like we're not gonna say that that's not what we gonna do who well he pushed me a lot and it made me realize oh well this is something different why not try something did at least one thing I learned about this idea Joe if you're gonna go down go down for what you believe right because I almost went down twice go down for what you believe in. Because I almost went

down twice for what I did not believe in. And we was close to shooting this thing once before. And I was like, I'm so glad that I stood up and said, I'm so glad I didn't need the money. When you need the money, boy, you get in the bed with the devil. But I used to tell them, y'all could

never give me as much as I could steal. Exactly. devil yeah but I used to tell him y'all could never give me as much as I could steal and so I just I just when I met him and I said I'm willing I don't care I mean that was a third holding deal so I'm not I wasn't rich but I could buy better weeks and I was on the road and I was selling my t-shirts so I was cool and I was saying I'm we gonna stick together and we're going to fight for what we want. And we did. The show that you showed me is about as close to you as you could get. It's right there.

It's me. It's right there and it's just starting. That's what's amazing. It's like if you get one of those shows and you get let it breathe and grow and give it a couple of months and give it six episodes give it 10 episodes give it a year give it second season fuck you have you got a real good shot with the show a real good shot and i was so happy when you told me that that night it's real it's very good it made me laugh hard thank you y'all hear that?

Don't be scared to come on over to BET Plus, white people. Come over there and matinee that bitch up. Well, with streaming now, it's like networks doesn't matter anymore. You just have to have a good show. You just got to have a good show. You got to step into it. You got to step into it. And I think that's the thing that why we ran into a lot of trouble, even even selling it initially or even getting it picked up originally, was that I think it was it was too real. It was a little bit too real. Oh, yeah. Joe, they was asking dumb.

They was I'm not going to say dumb question, because when you're not familiar with a person court culture, they was asking like one of the kids name is Janelle. And what did they ask you oh they were like that the name was too ethnic somebody said i was like janelle and brandon ethnic janelle they couldn't handle janelle but that's executives they always want to fuck with things if they would only leave shit alone yeah and you know even when we got we we left fox we went from fox to fox uh studio and then we went to because the deal originally was at fox right and then when i when i came in because originally it was going to be a a single cam show and then i was like no you it's got to be a multi-cam you got to put her in front of a live audience because she's going to

come alive and they were like all right cool let's do multi-cam and then once they read the script they're like oh you got a lot of fucks and motherfuckers and niggas in here we're gonna we're gonna have to go to fox 21 which was a division like a division a cable division and then that's when we went out we sold it with tahulu yeah we sold it to hulu all these networks still have these language restrictions like what the fuck are you doing? It's 2021. Yeah, we're in a new world now. Everybody has the internet. That's nonsense. Hey, I was just

telling y'all out there, what are you hiding from with the language? My kids, little kids, elementary, and the time they learn how to read, one of them Google Elsa sucking dick. So, what are you hiding? I didn't even know Elsa was sucking dick on the internet. And it's true.

She really is. Elsa from Frozen? Yeah, she gangbanging. And I was like, I don't know why. Was she getting fucked by the snowman? No. She's getting gangbanged. She's not gangbanging. Well, it's just dicks all around her. She's letting it go. Gangbanged. Yeah, and I was actually

blown away. And I was like, why did you Google this? Well, they Googled it at school. It's a second grade. I was like, what? And I said, you will never get a phone until you have a job to pay for a phone. I mean, when I was in third grade, everybody was talking about two girls in one cup. That's right.

What is that? Oh, that's the one where they... Do you want to see it? No, you don't want to see it. Show it to me. No, you don't want to see it. No, I had a baby, Earl. I don't know what two girls in a cup is. I just had sex.

Two Girls, One Cup is like one of the first videos where people would do reactions. They would film reactions to it because it's so disgusting. Oh. It's these two girls. They start making out. Then one of them shits in a cup and they start eating it. Oh, no. They're throwing up in each

other's mouths right it's you want to see no i do not want to see that what happens to just normal sex where you hunch each other and go to sleep well this is a long time ago yeah this was like 2004 but i started in 1985 why did we change from the sex from 1985 i don't know this is not really a sex thing this is like an internet thing. It's like, I don't even think it's real shit. It's not, right? It wasn't? Really? I think it's like chocolate sauce or something.

I saw one talk to two kids in one sandbox, and it was all shit. So these girls are licking it. So it wasn't real? It's fucking nasty. What's that supposed to be?

Shit. Yeah, you want to see the video? No, I don't. Now that you know that it's only ice cream. I've never heard of this. I can't believe you never heard of this. There were so many videos. I had the first baby in seventh grade.

I was a mom. I had shit to do like breastfeed. I understand. But there was quite a few videos of people doing reactions. Me and Red Band did one. Really? I'm laughing so hard I can barely breathe. Two girls in a cup. It's a disgusting video.

But there was a whole bunch of those. Is that porn? Yeah. It was on Pornhub. That's how we found it. What was you doing on Pornhub? Everybody was on Pornhub. Did I ever tell you when I got sent to alternative school for selling porn? What? I got sent to alternative school for selling porn in fifth grade.

For selling? Yeah, what happened was there was a play in town that I wanted to go see, and my parents wouldn't give me money to go see it, so I said I was going to make it myself. And I was snooping through my brother's bedroom one day, and I found, like, big booty car wash under his bed and big titty palooza and all this stuff. And that's what we was talking about at school was porn.

So I took his DVDs, and I was selling them at the bathroom for $5 a pop. For real. And then somebody snitched. I got about $20 in, and somebody snitched. They went to the counselor, and she came. I remember I was sitting in class, and she came, and she knocked on the door, and she said, Can I see Mr. Cooper please? And I didn't go back for the whole year.

I was in alternative school for about two months. What is alternative school? It was like, they called it crossroads, which was like, you had to like, it was like you had to go across town and you had to like wear a button up shirt and like tuck in your pants. They tried to make them transform.

Peanut butter sandwiches for lunch. They changed it. Yeah. I sent my son there for talking a lot. like tucking your pants. They try to make them transform. Peanut butter sandwiches for lunch. They change you. Yeah. I sent my son there for talking a lot. You sent him there? I sent. For talking a lot?

Because he was silly as fuck. I wonder where he got that. Good question. But he already wasn't making good grades. He just giggling and laughing. I said, okay, so I'm going to send you down here with the kids who don't rob the grocery store and, you know, the gas station and shit. And so his first day there, the man said, what you do? He said, I was laughing in class. He knew he didn't fit, but I made him do 30 days.

Wow. 30 days. Mm-hmm. Did it help? Yeah, but he was never no A student anyway. But he stopped laughing in class. He didn't want to go back to alternative school. He didn't like because they made him exercise and run. And it was kind of like a military style when I was in Atlanta.

How long was this process between the time that you had your first deal and you actually filmed the pilot that I saw? had your first deal and you actually filmed the pilot that I saw? Four years. Four years. It was four years, three writers. And it was hard because, you know, you would think, you know, I just got to Hollywood and I'm thinking, oh, I'm going to be on Fox. And then you start watching other people, other comics who get, you know, you know your show was there and then that show get bumped.

And you're like, what the hell is going on? And then, you know, when it get to the point where they don't like it, they throw it away. They say, oh, well, we don't want it. But thank God for Lee Daniel. Every time they had to switch or didn't want it or the country, he made them resign. I don't know what kind of magic he had. Well, baby, he kept saving me. I swear, nobody get three and four chances at the same project.

You know that shit. And I just kept getting chances. And when he looked at me, he told me before I met this kid, he said, I promise you, I'm going to get this show picked up. Nobody gets three or four chances, especially today, when they don't do very many sitcoms. No. When I was on the news radio show in

the 90s there was only sitcoms it was there was no reality shows back then so sitcoms were on every night monday tuesday wednesday and it was like all like from 8 p.m on it was sitcoms there was a lot of sitcoms a lot of opportunity to get shows and you know and when you didn't have like with me i wasn't really familiar with Hollywood, but I did meet a friend who's the guy who actually found me

who listened to Marin and heard about my book coming out at the time. And then he listened to my episode, Chew Dropped, and they called me in to Imagine,

which is Ron Howard. Yeah. And John Rattler. And then I just connected with him. We like family now. I go over his house and I sleep and I shit in his bathroom and then I just connected with him. We like family now. I go over to his house and I sleep and I shit in his bathroom,

wrap my head on the wall. But we like family now. You know, he's the only executive producer that's still on the project when it started, him and Lee Daniel. But with those two, they really held me together. Even when we shot the pilot, when Hulu picked it up and everybody was ecstatic and happy. And I tell you, I

pick up on spirits the weirdest shit. And you've got all of these executives. Let me just go back a little bit. So we go and it's time. They put me in acting classes because once we sell the show, I said, Lee. You had to go into acting class? Yeah. They gave her a show not knowing she could act. I said, we sell it in the room. So I said, hey, Lee. He said, what? I said, Lee. You had to go into acting class? Yeah. They gave her a show not knowing she could act. I said, we sell it in the room,

so I said, hey, Lee. He said, what? I said, y'all going to ask me, can I act?

He said, bitch, you can't act. I said, no, I can't act, motherfucker. I'm a comedian.

Because you know, most comedians, I can act. I wanted to be good. I didn't want to be, just take your money and put out a shitty project. And I was like, no, he was like, the bitch can't act. Get her some acting classes. That's what we tell the people at Fox. I wanted to be good. Yeah. I didn't want to be just take your money and put out a shitty project. Right.

And I was like, no. He was like, the bitch can't act. Get us some acting classes. That's what we tell the people at Fox. So they immediately put me in acting classes. So when we started, when me and him get together and we get to the process of getting ready to get it picked up, Joe, I didn't know what the fuck a table read was. I'm like, what the fuck is a table read? And he was like, I got to read out loud?

I ain't did this shit in a long goddamn time. So I go on the internet and I Google table read. And I said, we got to come up. I said, we got to back. Don't eat motherfuckers. He's like, what are you talking about? I said, we got to get somebody. And I got to practice reading out loud.

Because if they hear me read out loud today, they're going to shut this motherfucker down. I can picture you I can picture you doing this Oh my god I said they gonna shut this motherfucker down So me and him I'm not lying me and him flew to LA We got our friends and shit

We sat around the table I was so fucking horrible My friend Vincent Vincent Bronte said, they might take the show from you. I said, fuck you, motherfucker. She wasn't that bad. She wasn't that bad.

She was actually surprising. Thank God it was her. She was playing herself, praise the Lord. But she actually had instinct. She had instinct. That was the practice table I'm talking about. It was just about putting it in the right. But we practiced quite a few times. Me and him flew had, she had instinct. That was the practice tablery I'm talking about. Yeah, it was just about putting it in the right.

But we practiced quite a few times. Me and him flew out to L.A. together and we practiced with friends and stuff. And when we got to the tablery,

I fucked them up, Joe. I fucked them up. I had that strip boy. I had them words flowing out of my mouth like hot chili, God damn it. And they was like, oh my God, she can read and it was like oh my god she can read I'm like you know the story of Charlie Burnett? Mm-mm. Charlie Burnett was a hilarious comedian who used to do street performance.

And Dave Chappelle learned a lot of how to do street performance from him. Because Dave used to do that, too. Where Dave would just pull up to a place and say, Ladies and gentlemen, and start doing a show. Charlie Burnett, there's videos of him doing it in, I think, Washington Square Park in New York City. Charlie got SNL he didn't know how to read he couldn't read he couldn't read he was illiterate and

so I'm not illiterate so he but I just have to brush up on shit but they gave him Saturday Night Live he was that good and he would have been a giant star how did it go it didn't they fired him cause he couldn't read cause he couldn't read? Because he couldn't read. Yeah. That was it. Couldn't nobody tell him his lines in his ear? Here's Charlie Burnett. Oh, Lord, he black, too. I thought you were talking about a white man. I'm telling you, he was so talented and so captivating. We're in the village. I love the village.

We got a nice mixed crowd. I mean, look what we got. We got white folks. We got black folks. We got Puerto Ricans. Puerto Ricans. Puerto Ricans. We got a lot of fucking Puerto Ricans.

But I'm not going to fuck with the Puerto Ricans, man, because you're all born with knives. You'll cut me up and I won't even know what you're saying. Me to me to casino empire. And when you finish, you go get pasta. I've never heard of him. Charlie was brilliant. I saw him perform live in New York City at Catch Rising Star in like the early 90s.

I've never heard of him. What happened to him? He died. I think he died of COVID. Something. heard of me what happened he died um i think he died of covet some i want to say i think it was hiv was that was he died of something we all have something yeah wow never heard what would have happened if he got snl i think he would have been a giant star he was brilliant he was, he just captivated.

But also, I think it's about also taking time with people like that. Because I feel like a lot of times people just get thrown into the machine and nobody's there to actually guide them through the machine. Thank God we had each other to guide each other. But I can imagine. He didn't teach me how to read. I knew how to read. See, the thing is, like, it's hard to learn how to be that guy. It's easy to learn how to read. I do how to read. See, the thing is, like, it's hard to learn how to be that guy. It's easy to learn how to read.

Yeah. To be a Charlie Burnett is fucking good luck. How are you going to figure out how to do that? Right. But to learn how to read, a lot of people can learn how to read. Yeah. But that's what I mean. Just throw him on the set and tell him his lines.

Like, just actually take the time to be like, here's your line. This is what you say here. You know what I mean? The problem is that SNL, like, they learn the time to be like here's your line that's what you say here the problem is that snl like they learned the day of right like there's a lot of like shit it's only a week process to create these sketches that they do every saturday so if i couldn't read like that and i was if i feel like i had that kind of talent i've been pressing up on my sheet early so when they come i'm here somebody should have just hooked them up yeah somebody should just like got them lessons yeah it's not that hard something so back to when so it's time to shoot the pilot and i tell you i pick up on spirits and uh so i'm walking around that day and

i said they're not gonna pick it up and everybody's like what are you talking about i said my inner spirit said they're not gonna pick up this show my spirit i just pick i don't it's an energy that i feel i can almost tell what people you know I could tell how you feel about me I could tell when you being fake a piece of shit I just know when somebody's honest I'm honest I don't know how but if 80% of the time I'm pretty right I'm lying Jordan so I'm telling all the Zakes they like oh my god the first show you fucking killed it so I pulled my friend John Rattler to the side who wanted to say to producers who heard me on the podcast.

I said, they're not going to pick it up. He's like, why you say that? I said, nobody's fucking listening to me. We got Debbie Allen on the floor shooting the pilot, and I'm trying to tell Jordan because he's my right-hand man. I said, they're not going to pick it up. And I said, I'm not going to name any names. I said, it's the executive who makes the decision.

His energy bounced off mine. He didn't get me from the day I met him he don't understand this project and so they came back with the languages uh what was their language it didn't fit their oh it wasn't premium it wasn't premium content for their material this is what this is what's trippy though this is what's trippy though is that we heard through the grapevine that originally that executive didn't really like it and so they were going to test it to kind of find backup of like audiences don't really fuck with it. Like they're

not going to like it. Then they tested it. It was one of the highest tested pilots ever as far as testing pilots go for Hulu. I believe that. And still was like I really don't get it. I don't get why she's yelling at her kids. I don't get why she's cursing. And that's what I tried to tell them, Joe.

I said, that energy that I felt off that certain person that day, I knew they were not going to pick it up. And that was the decision maker there. So I said, and I just told him, I said, and he was like, we waited six months before they dropped it. I knew in my heart, I told him almost every day I said they're not gonna pick this shit up it's what I think what it was was so many Brian Grazer Ron Howard lead there those so powerful names connected to it what probably took so long and then you know

they probably tested it again and what was so crazy I is over now I could say say, but my daughter's friend worked at a testing site. They sent it to Atlanta, and she called my daughter in secret. She said, I don't supposed to tell you this, but your mama pilot just tested off the fucking roof, and they tested in Alpharetta, Georgia. That's white as white can get in Atlanta. And I was like, and I called him, and I was like, they tested fucking pilot.

They told us Chicago but it ended up in Atlanta and I just kept telling him I said I always felt like it would find a home I really did but I knew

Hulu was not gonna pick it up now I ain't mad cause Hulu did a wonderful job in helping us shape the pilot and what it is we got wonderful notes from them

I mean they we thought we had some shit. When Hulu started putting their little, and we came in, oh, man, they made their pilot a fucking home run. They know what they're doing at Hulu. They got some great shows. Yeah, but this wasn't premium enough. That's so stupid.

What the fuck does that mean? It wasn't premium content. I don't know. They also don't have any original multicams. They have, like, traditional sitcoms, like old stuff, like My Wife and Kids and I Love Lucy. But they don't have original sitcoms. Right. And I think that there, I think there was also, it was like, because that hadn't happened before we did that pilot.

Like nobody had like said fucking motherfucker and all this stuff and talked about, literally our pilot is about a school shooting. And somehow we made it funny. Do you think it's the language? Do you think the language was why they said it wasn't premium content uh that's just such a fucking vague statement yeah it's not premium content because i had to ask myself what do premium mean is that baloney with or without the garlic it's just a bullshit statement it doesn't mean anything like what does that mean i don't know i was trying to figure out what did meanwhile tested high tested high every time even that's what premium means that's what premium

yeah do people enjoy the shit out of it yeah then it's premium that's what i thought and that's what the reason they say it didn't fit their platform so you guys started on fox fox was the first place you took it to and then it went to hulu and fox Fox then Fox Studios Fox 21 and then Julio so so Fox Fox Studio which is the 21 plus

yep and then Hulu and then we and then after they dropped it last year Valentine's Day um

I got a call from them BET Plus I didn't even know BET had a plus I did the whole plus thing is so weird like Disney plus and yeah I

didn't I was like what I said what is BET plus because I don't watch a lot of TV because I'm so fucking busy I mean I watch the Handmaid's Tale I mean I like shit I like I like shoot them up shit like that you know that I just watched that shoot them up show no Handmaid's is cutting off white clicks I can't watch that show oh that show that show's so goddamn good. I watched it one time. Oh, you gotta get past the pilot. No, no, no. Oh, that and Queen of the South? Uh-uh. Oh, that shit's so fucking good, Joe.

Really? You never cheered for white women to whoop somebody's ass. Women, period. Watch The Handmaid's Tale. My wife is obsessed with it. Oh, my God. I watch The Handmaid's Tale. I be like, get that motherfucker. I be screaming at my left. That's the only thing I I watch The Handmaid's Tale and I be like, get that motherfucker.

I be screaming at my left. That's the only thing I watch is The Handmaid's Tale. I think it's too possible that it could happen. That's what freaks me out. It's very near future. Especially when Trump

was in office, you were like, oh shit. Nobody's gonna control my pussy. Nobody's gonna control. This is my pussy. I believe that. If I wanna put firecrackers

in it and blow it up, that's my pussy. This is my 4th of July pussy. You're not going to tell me what I can and cannot do. My 4th of July pussy. Hey, I'm not trying. And then they want to do everything to shut my vagina down. Ain't nobody saying nothing about the men who clip their balls and can't have babies.

But what I'm supposed to do if I marry a man who got fucking dry balls? Are you going to be mad then? That's a good question. Yeah. Nobody talk about the men's tape. Ain't that what happens to you when you clip your balls? What you shooting, piss in me? Just the container that loads of cum in.

The cum ain't no good. You just cut the heads off the babies. Yeah, it's like sperm though. Yeah, it's sperm with no heads. It shoots out whenever you get a sex me. It's just not. Yeah, it's just fake. No sperm in it's just based first. No, hey shoots out whenever you get a second me It's just not yeah, it's just no sperm in it. Yeah, I understand what it is. Yeah, what does happen? That's a good question. I don't have a second most firms have let me wiggling They look like a little head on so when they clip your nuts, do they cut out heads off the sperm? No, it's not like that They they basically cut the doorway so like there's like there's different parts to sperm, like to jizz.

Here we go. You will ejaculate semen, seminal fluid, after a vasectomy, but it will no longer contain sperm, the reproductive cells, once you have ejaculated about 20 times. Okay, so you have to bang out 20 lobes because the boys are hanging out there waiting. A vasectomy blocks the sperm made by the testes from reaching the semen. Instead, the body absorbs the sperm, which is harmless. There you go.

So you're pregnant yourself. There you go. So when you first get them clipped, you still can make a few babies because you've got a few of them hanging out. You've got 19 loads left after the first one. So after you get clipped, you've got 19. I would look at it under a microscope. I'd be like, what the fuck is in there? You know, once you got past 21,

I'd want to put a slide down and get that in there and see what the fuck it looks like. Yeah, the head's cut off. There's no boys in there. Yeah, no boys or girls. Yeah, nothing but the boys that swim. Can you see it under a microscope? Can you see sperm?

That's a good question. I never checked, but I want to now now you can see a lot of shit i used to be a medical assistant yeah and i didn't know what the fuck i was looking at but you would put like stds up under there and you could see that you can actually see that shit you can see the stds you can see it whatever those little shit was they say uh no they look like a lot it looks like std's like it's according to which one you get what's the worst one to get i don't know only had gunner real which one you had how was that bad is that bad i never had any of them well i feel like flame flamethrowers got your pussy oh that's what i heard right didn't you say they used to have to come pick you up if somebody

fuck you joey if somebody gave you a std they had to get a bus uh back in the day when you had a std and uh the day would knock they would knock on your door one person would say oh i got std they said what's your partner so you start naming your partners so they go pick up the partners and they would give you a ride to the health department wow you know what that is wild yeah they couldn't come get me all time i'm like you, you again, motherfucker. Who reported me? Hey, Pat. Come on in. You did get to know their names and shit.

So when does your show start airing? August 12th. Oh, two days. All ten episodes drop at once. Isn't that beautiful about today? So if someone loves your show they can just binge just binge

and I think they're gonna be able to binge I just love some of the episodes like we did a Him, Them, and Their episodes gender nonconforming

I had never heard of that before you did a gender nonconforming episode it is so fucking funny Joe we did a one about

porn and we did we did a N word We did N-word. Yep. Derogatory words. Derogatory words. Yeah, and we used them all. Wow.

Yes. That's the beautiful thing about the internet, too, about streaming. You can do it just like you do your act. You just say it. And it's not... We're just throwing out derogatory words. We talked about, you know, like how your kids like who was that Matt Damon just said he used the f-word was that Matt Damon yeah and he said my daughter told me

not to use that is and when I heard Matt Damon said it was like that's what the episode is about how kids today was like oh mama you can't say that anymore like my daughter is gay right we all know I told you that a hundred times well I'm 49 years 49 years old. I grew up saying bull diger. And my daughter was like, you can't call me a bull diger. I'm like, well, they used to call you. I've never even heard bull diger. I've heard bull dyke. It's like a bull dagger. Like a dagger. It's something

in the south. It's a black thing in the south. Bull diger. That's what they call lesbians. Bull diger. That's what I say. What's the correct form? Dagger. Are you saying dagger? Bull dagger? I don't know. I'm saying dagger. I thought you were saying bull dyke. Bull dyke. Oh. Bull dyke. Have you heard that before, Jamie? It's a southern thing.

It's a southern thing. It's a southern thing. But that's what that episode's literally about. It's like a generation gap. But my daughter stopped me and she said, you know, she's like, Mama, that's like a white person calling you the emperor. I said, Bull Dyagger is nigga now? So,

so I stopped saying it. I literally stopped saying it and that's what the episode is about because a lot of times young people come to, older people say, hey,

you can't say that. Well, you know, you can't say words like that and that's what the episode, so when Matt Damon came out and, and,

there it is, bulldiggers. This is a prison term for macho lesbians. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah. That's a rough one.

Those two girls are bull daggers? Well, I don't know about those two. Is that what they're saying? But down south, when I was little, everybody was a bull dagger if they was gay. Ah. The lesbian wasn't the right... You was gay, you was a bull dagger. And it's basically like, for being within the community, it's like, oh And it's basically like, it's basically like for like being, being within the community.

It's like, oh, it's funny how like, especially black people in those conversations, it feels like they separate. Like if you're gay and you're black, like you can't be both. Like, it's like, oh, you can't like, I can say bulldog, but you can't say nigga. But it's like, what if you a nigga and a bulldog? You know what I mean? Like, it's like words are just how words hurt, but it hurts because of what we put on to them.

You know, Tim Dillon.. You know Tim Dillon? Do you know Tim Dillon? I don't fucking know Tim Dillon. Hilarious. Very funny comedian. He's gay. And he got in trouble for saying dyke. He's like, I can't say it?

And he's like, what the fuck? He's like, I'm gay. I can't say that? Like, people were mad at him for saying that. And they probably gonna be mad at me for saying this a couple times. But, you know, that whole conversation was my daughter sat me down. She was like, you can't say these words. And I'm like, well, okay.

That's what the episode is about. So the episodes are all about real life shit. That happened to me. Even the him, them, and there, and the what is it called? Ginny Nonconformist. My daughter brings home a friend in real life. I mean, but he ended up writing it. And she brought one over and Iconforming. My daughter brings home, my daughter, Garyana, brings home a friend in real life.

I mean, but he ended up writing it and she brought one over and I was confused. Like I said, she brought one over. I mean, she brought,

I don't know. It's like, what do we say about this? Who are you? What are you? Well, it's like, I mean,

it was a weird conversation, but with the great writing of Jordan Cooper and all of us putting it together, we was able to, it was a teaching moment. Because a lot of people don't know. For everybody. For everybody, him, them, and there is.

Right. You know, I've never heard that shit before. Yeah, the they, them pronouns. Yes, the pronouns. It's very hard to put together in sentences correctly. It took time for me. I remember when I first, I had never heard of that before I went to New York and I went to the new school in New York. And I remember first day of orientation.

They were like, all right, what is everybody's pronouns? I was like, pronouns? What do you mean? Why are we? I was like, I'm Jordan. I was just confused. And it took me so long to understand. Like, oh, okay, you just don't want me to.

I'm going to just call you by your name. What's your name? What's your name? I'm going to just say your name. That's a good way to handle it. Because it's like, I don't want to say the wrong thing. So just tell me your name. I'm going to say your name.

Yeah. And that's what that episode is about. A nigga named Jensen. That's literally what she says in the show. She says, what's the line? It's like, one of the kids is like, who is that? that's what that's literally what she says in the show she says she says what's the line it's like

one of the kids is like who is that and she says oh his name is just like Nata Hema oh her name

Nata Shema the nigga name Jesse alright which is a very very good episode it's one of my favorite and I remember

when people would talk about the episode who works at BET oh I. It's one of my favorites. And I remember when people would talk about the episode, who works at BET, oh, I cannot get that out of my head. It's so fucking funny. Well, the beautiful thing about your personality is you can attach it and you can have so many subjects. There's so many things that you could talk about on your show that you have no boundaries.

You're free. Because the way you are, the way you speak, the way you're loose and fun, you have no boundaries you know you're free because the way you are the way you speak the way you're loose and fun like you have no boundaries like that's for a for a sitcom writer oh my god like you're a gold mine gold like that's and that's what i pitched it as i said i want to make pat the black female archie bunker funnier though Funnier though. Funnier though. Funnier. That's what I want to make

if you haven't seen it. And that's who she is. She just said, and it's all in love. She's not, you know what I mean? It's not, but she just says

what she wants to say and we can go from up and down with topics. You know what I mean? And so that's what the show is. It's really like a, I like to call sitcoms a Trojan horse

because you get to talk about real shit, but we get to laugh on the way. What was so crazy, Joe, is like when we went when we finally started writing over the we spent almost two years before we got to this point. And all of a sudden this kid just wipe out this fucking phone and say, oh, yeah, you said this, this, that. Everything he ever thought I said funny, this motherfucker had put it in his phone and a lot of it made it in the show. And I'm like you write Down what I say he's like that's the funniest shit when you ain't even trying to be

Yeah, that's smart though because you got to capture those things you forget him Yeah, he just had this whole list what the shit miss Pat say and he put he whipped that shit I was like you've been recording and keeping note every time and before take out his phone I will see him type him but i didn't know he was typing the shit i had said that was so fucking stupid jordan did you always know you wanted to be a writer absolutely yeah always i started writing plays when i was like seven i was like do plays yeah in my mom's living room i would always do plays in the living room i would cut up my mama's weave and make wigs i would play michael jackson cut up

her weave have a little curl coming down. Like, I just always loved. And, like, sitcoms for me, that's why I kept watching them, because that was the closest to theater I could get a lot of the times, because with that live audience, you know what I mean? So it's like I started, all I would ask for for Christmas was, like, box sets of I Love Lucy or The Golden Girls or Martin or Good Times. And, like, I think that's why it made so much sense whenever we wrote the pilot and they were like how the hell like you didn't go to school for writing tv like what how did you

it was just like i just studied like i just i've just been doing it all my life i watched uh i love lucy the other day with my 11 year old we sat and watched it with her and i was like i just want to show you this she's like i go just just watch it please i go we could change the channel after a while we'll watch whatever you want to watch. I go, I just want you to see what people were like in the 1950s. And you could see, like, a few minutes in, her eyes were like, what is this? I was like, this is how people thought acting was. Like, it was so, in the episode, Lucy thought that Ricky was trying to kill her.

Oh, yeah. Did you ever see that episode? Oh, we saw all of them. It's so clunky. It's so odd, like the way they did it, you know, just the way, you know, Ricky's talking on the phone and Lucy's behind him like, ooh, like everything was like big and over the top.

And you could tell she got into it after a while. She's like, wow, this is so weird. I go, honey, you got to realize that when this show was being made, there was only like 30 years of motion pictures. Yeah. I mean, they really had just started. I mean, think about a movie, right, from 1990, right? That's not that long ago.

There's a lot of movies from the 90s. You can watch those movies. People watch them all the time. That fucking rap portfolio scared the shit out of me. I'm watching them like, them fake rap portfolio. What the hell is that? The fucking spider movie.

Oh, arachnophobia. Yeah, that one now, that one now. But I mean, you know, like the movie Alien, the first movie Alien,

that's from 1979, right? Mm, wow. That's the long fucking time ago, but it's an amazing movie. You watch it still to this day. So I was trying to tell her,

I go, they had just figured this out. Yeah. They hadn't really had, they had like the Honeymooners and a couple other sitcoms. They had just figured out motion pictures. But that's what made it dynamic is because that never had multi-cam sitcom had never happened before and what happened was is that lucy was pregnant so

basically they had been married for like five years right and then lucy was like oh i'm losing my husband he uh she went with the bitches i need to do something to get him get him back home and so she was like oh we could do a show together. Let's do a show together. And so she went to CBS and she was like, hey, I want to do a show with my husband. And they were like, are you kidding me? Like, nobody's going to believe you're married to a Cuban, like a Latino man. Like, what are you talking? She was like, what the fuck are you talking about? I am married to a Cuban.

And so they were like. Are you sure about this? Yes. Yes, absolutely. Wait a minute, they didn't believe? They did not. CBS executives did not believe. So what they did was, she said, I am married to a Cuban.

Like, why? They were like, we don't trust it. We don't want to do it. So they created a vaudeville show that was the first, basically the first season of I Love Lucy. They toured around the country during this vaudeville show. And on the final stop, they invited CBS executives. And the audience loved it. And they were like, oh, okay, cool.

This is good. All right, we're going to do it. But if you do it, we're going to do it in New York and we're going to do it in new york and we're gonna do it live he was desi was like absolutely not desi i mean uh lucy is pregnant we're not going back and forth like we have to do this in la and they're like we're not doing a show in la are you crazy and he was like yeah we're gonna do it in la and we're gonna shoot it on film they were like absolutely not but if you want to do it you could pay for it and he was like all right bet we'll pay for it and we'll just deliver it to you and so they paid for everything and built desi lou studios and they owned the rights until like 1974 and lucy sold it back to cbs which was not smart but but they owned all of that was theirs all of

that was there so basically desi was the one who created this like three camera audience setup that was all him and the smart shit about shooting on film is all the Norman Lear shows, if you watch all those 70 shows, the quality is not good when you watch it visually because they shot on videotape. If you watch I Love Lucy, which was made, what, 25 years earlier, that shit is so, that looks like HD. It looks like it was shot last week.

And that's because hed it looks like it was shot like last week and that's because he shot it on film and so that was the like forethought that that desi arnaz gets no credit for that because he was a cuban but like he created all of that this is my tv like obviously that's incredible i did not did not know that i was trying to explain to my daughter that this was before castro took over cuba i was like, you got to understand what Cuba was like back then. Because Cuba was like a place where people from the United States would go to gamble. And it was all run by the mob. The whole thing.

The corrupt government that was there before Castro overtook it. And I was explaining this whole thing to her. It was fascinating to watch this little 11-year- old try to figure out what first of all why everything's black and white like where's the colors there's no color in this stupid fucking show you're making me watch right i was i was talking to uh my my little little niece the other day she was talking about um she would watch some show that was talking about like old days like the 1940s and 50s with segregation and and all. She was like, yeah. And they were talking about the segregation that happened in the 1990s. What?

I was like, what the fuck? We ain't that old goddamn. I saw somebody, I don't know, somebody else, their kid. Their kid was like, mommy, what year were you born? They said 1993. They said, were you a slave? They do ask this crazy

shit. They don't know what the fuck's going on. Imagine being alive for five years trying to figure the world out.

I, you know, I have custody of my niece's kids so they know I'm gone all the time and they know I'm their great aunt because I think

great aunt. So I come home one day, Joe, and they was like, we Googled you and you worked for a million dollars. I said,

they telling the goddamn lie. I ain't got no fucking money and you work for a million dollars. I said, they telling a goddamn lie. I ain't got no fucking money. And you crack babies about not be trying to kill me. They Googled your net worth. Yeah, they Googled my net. I told you, that's the ones who Google Elsa sucking dick. I said, stay the fuck out that goddamn internet.

Wow, same kids. Yeah, the same kids. I said, you stay the fuck off that internet because that shit ain't true. I ain't got no goddamn money y'all think about killing me I'll shoot you motherfuckers first I mean

I just walk in the house and the crack rep say we google you we know your network know the fuck you don't can you imagine can you imagine like being in the store

with the kids and they ask for something and you say no we ain't got nobody and they just google your network that's a goddamn lie google is a lie they ain't got nobody and they just google your network that's a goddamn lie google is lying ain't got no goddamn money how much of like your own life are you gonna put into this show like a lot of it a lot of it went into the pilot we had one episode

uh he really wanted to do and i don't want too much push back on shit but I was like uh it was about being molested and uh because we go there and if I can make it funny Joe I'll go there but when when we got the writing it I just felt like it it didn't it wasn't captured good and I it had I think it was just me I wasn't ready and I remember them saying this will heal so many people I'm like yeah but if I'm still kind of touchy on the subject I need to heal first so yeah therefore I pulled it and we wrote something we wrote a whole new episode I remember that day on the phone with her because we had been talking about the episode since we since we pitched the show and we finally had the script and we were working on it and getting notes back, and she called me. She was like, Jordan, I can't do this.

We shouldn't do this. I don't want to do this yet. And we pulled it, and we rewrote it. We rewrote a whole new episode. Do you think that's something you'll revisit, like maybe as you get more comfortable with the show? I feel like it's an episode that you've got to really take time. Yeah.

You know, we did one on my uh my baby daddy right and that was hard that was really hard it was it's funny as fuck joe but you know where i it's like i don't know if this is a comedy or a dramedy because it get oh it get real touchy towards episode 789 and it was it you you get the feelings and you know you It made me feel like I actually won. I got the revenge I wanted on the dude who worked at Jiffy Lube. I felt strong from that episode, but it wasn't easy. I remember riding home that night with tears running down my face and saying, Wow, nigga, I won.

Riding home the night you filmed it? After I filmed it, I remember riding home that night feeling filmed it after i filmed it i remember riding home that night saying feeling like i finally won yeah wow because i was i was crying during that there was a scene one of the final scenes of that episode and i'm not a cry i'm not i'm not that person i'm not a crier but i i felt it was like it was like i'm a spirit person too. But she did that scene and she nailed it. And I just started boo-hoo. I had to walk off set. Because it was like I was, it felt like I was being used to help her get her power back.

There was something so beautiful about it. That was like, damn. The audience was crying. Really? Yes. The audience was crying. And I remember walking off and they we that was the last thing and he would just bust out crying I was like what's

wrong with she's like I just want to thank you so much for being you know let me tell you a story and I like crying in front of people cuz I'm a hood bitch and he was boohooing and I turn around everybody crying the audience crying and I remember getting in my car at night and riding back to my place. And I was like, I fucking won. I won. Out of all this shit, you know, the voices that I still hear in my head from, you know, the way my mama treat me. I had to doubt myself.

You know, everybody fight against something. And one of the things that I fight against each and every day is my mama in my ear constantly telling me I ain't shit. Constantly saying, bitch, you ain't shit. You're ugly. All the stuff that she did

that stuck to my bones that I don't know how to get them off. And so, but that night, I actually feel like I won. Wow. It doesn't have to be funny

all the time. I don't try to be. It doesn't have to be funny all the time. I don't try to be. It doesn't have to be. It just has to be good. It just has to be good. And it was. It was not funny. We had to fight on that, too, a little bit.

Because I remember the network was like, at one point, they were like, all right, we're the jokes. Yeah, but it's like any great sitcom, go back and watch Good Times. They had episodes like that. Yeah. And I think we have, too, like that either even the finale is like that the finale i you ain't seen no finale like you seen this one really yeah you ain't seen no finale like you seen this one and you know and acting was so crazy for me because he would take he took my real life and he dropped him into my into the daddy's mouth and I was like dude I can't be talking to this man like that you know this is shit I said to my husband and I started to feel it

and I'm like you gotta I said I'm tired of telling this man I love him because you know when you when you have when you take something so personal he was taking personal stuff personal conversations we had. Personal, just, you know, because I tell him everything. We were really close. And he was dropping that shit in his dude mouth. And it reminded me of my husband at home.

And I'm like, I said, you're going to have to stop this shit. She was really scared of vulnerability on set. And it was a thing where I really had to push because she, I think acting at first was like a thing where I really had to push because she I think acting at first was like a thing. It was like acting. That's easy as fuck. I could just get in front of a camera. You know what I mean?

But I think some of the scenes really pushed her. Like there were times where she had to stop. You had to stop and get herself together because it was asking a lot of her. The storytelling was asking a lot of her. I like to do things to keep them, all the actors, on their feet

because it keeps them connected to the story. Even jokes. I'll be watching them do a scene while we're shooting and I'll hear a joke in my head or one of the writers will be like, what about this? And I'll run out and I'll tell one of the actors and not tell everybody else. So even in the pilot,

when you watch whenever she comes out and she's like, did you teach your daddy what a clit is? You know, she, the actors had no idea that was coming and they busted. They were trying not to laugh and it's all in the show. They were trying not to laugh, but it's like things like that,

that just keeps them connected. And they really grew into a family. And you should have seen that the way that, that Pat really just sunk into telling this story. It was so beautiful to watch. And they were so great. You know, like, because, I mean, even though I was a star of the show, I was the weakest fucking link. I mean, you got Tammy Roman on that show.

You had J. Bernard Calloway, who was a fucking theater actor. You got Theodore Barnes, who did a couple movies on fucking Netflix. And then you had Brittany Inger, who just came off another show. I think the daughter who plays Janelle is the only one who was a first acting job. She was fucking a bomb. But they wrapped their arms around me, you know, and they helped me. In Hollywood, everybody worry about who's first on the call sheet. And I sat them down.

I said, I don't give a fuck about no call sheet all I give a fuck about is who my check gonna clear I don't give a fuck isn't that weird that first on the call sheet shit

yeah first on the call sheet I said we're family I need y'all as much as y'all need me I said so we ain't gonna worry

I said we all stars I can't do this show without you that's why you was fucking casted and I just told him I said drop that call sheet shirt I don't give a fuck about you. That's why you was fucking casted. And I just told him, I said, drop that call sheet shirt. I don't give a fuck about no call sheet.

When we was in L.A. and the extras had to wait till the stars, I said, what the fuck y'all sitting there for? We had to wait. I said, get the fuck up. Ain't going to be no food left for you. You don't get the fuck up. You don't see them big ass men back there working. Get the fuck up and eat before they eat.

And it was like, nobody's ever done that. Oh, that's like, yeah, I remember that. Like the main cast has to eat first and then the extras eat. It's wild. Well, they set out that hierarchy to make everybody feel kind of shitty. But that's the thing that,

it started from the top down, but that was something that we saw eye to eye on in the very beginning. We were like, this ain't gonna be no shitty set. And so we broke all that shit down and it just created the atmosphere that it created on people enjoy people's like i love coming to work at this show even what was so crazy we did we did a scene with the daddy and was about the n-word right and

the white camera means they was all white camera means and they after they told us they said we never looked at it like that that scene and i mean you you damn near they was us, they said, we never looked at it like that. That scene, and I mean, damn near, they was tearing up. They said, we never looked at that word, the way y'all just put it out on this show, like that. And they was like, so happy to come to work. And they would get booked for other shows. I was like, where you been? I'm so fucking happy to be back here with you, Miss Pat. They was literally, it was nothing like seeing people happy to be back here with you, Miss Pat. It was nothing like seeing people

happy to be there. Not just some bullshit. They knew they was gonna laugh. Do you have an idea of whether or not you're gonna do another season? It depends on the audience. BET said that they're waiting to see how people respond. If people are gonna watch it.

They're nervous. I think we are nervous. We are. Because it's just, it's a new kind of show. It's really a new kind. It's like an experiment. It's a big experiment. And I think that they were saying the first two weeks really matter in streaming

because the first two weeks in streaming, that's how they know if they decide if they're going to pick something up because it depends on how many people watch it and the hours that they watch it. It's not like ratings. It's like, okay, did you watch multiple episodes? So it depends on what happens in those first two weeks, really. That depends. They follow everything, right?

Did you finish it? Did you start it and end it in the middle? They know everything now. It's interesting. The difference between what they know with streaming is so fascinating because they know all the demographics. It's like they have all the data as opposed to the Nielsen ratings with nonsense.

Nobody knew what the fuck that was. The Nielsen shit is like there's a Nielsen family, and then you had to fill out a book. Oh, no, that's radio. The Nielsen was like, I guess it was based on a box that was on your TV, right? He just told me the other day, back in the day, they didn't even put Nielsen boxes in black households. Yes, that's why they didn't, in the 50s, they didn't have like black shows back then because they didn't give Nielsen boxes to black people. So the advertisers didn't care if black people were watching.

Really? How many Nielsen families are there? I don't know. Are there any left? I don't know. Are there? There are? Yeah, I actually know like a couple of my friends of mine had a Nielsen box a couple months ago.

Really? Yeah. Wow. I remember Oprah got in trouble when OWN first started and she was like, please watch Oprah Winfrey Network, especially if you have a Nielsen box. She got in so much trouble. What? Who got a Nielsen box?

It's supposed to be the secret thing that nobody's supposed to know about. You're not supposed to tell people? That's hilarious. The one thing you can't advertise? Wow. Where the fuck is the box at? Do I supposed to know about. That's supposed to tell people? That's hilarious. The one thing you can't advertise? Wow. Where the fuck is the box at? Do I have one? No.

No, you would know. No, you would know. You have to like fill out some paperwork, I think. And then you get a box that's on your TV. So whatever you're watching, they know what you watched. And so then they, I think it's like 100,000 families nationwide. Yeah, I'm trying to find a number. I don't see anything.

And then they calculate based on, you know, the actual number of humans there are in this country and how many people really watch TV and they get an estimate, a rough estimate of the amount of people that are watching your show. But it's very rough, as opposed to streaming. Streaming, they know exactly how many people are watching your show. It's a different animal.

How much is BET Plus? Is it a monthly thing? $9.99. A month? Yes. $9.99 a month. Seven day free trial they have, I believe. And what other shows they got on there? They have the First Wife Club. They're only 18 months old. So it's a new streaming platform.

So they do have a lot of the black old sitcoms like Martin and Rock and Fresh Prince. But they have a few, they have quite a few probably 10 originals along with ours. A lot of people forgot how fucking good Martin was. That guy played like 15 different characters in that show. It was so interesting. It was like literally a fusion of sketch comedy and sitcom and that's kind of what I'm trying to

do with Pat. I'm trying to do like a comedy show meets a sitcom and kind of melt the two together. Like stand up meets a sitcom. Yeah, exactly. And I hate it. comedy show meets a sitcom and kind of melt the two together. Like stand-up meets a sitcom. Yeah, exactly. That's why. And I hate it. Everybody get an extra treat when you go to streaming because I'm doing, they're called monologues, and I fucking hated them, Joe.

But we was watching one yesterday, and it was so fucking funny. And me and him would literally stay up all night trying to write it to marriage, the episode. And I was like, this is so fucking hard. Yeah. But this is what he wanted. I was like, if we get a second season, like when we get a second season, we're not doing them. I'm not doing this fucking shit.

Yes, we are. Because it's the perfect, it gives you a chance to see her stand up. And she's basically giving you a prelude to what, it's kind of like what Shakespeare used to do. It's like, I'm telling you the story before you know the story. But I'm making you laugh while we do it. The perfect compliment. Yeah, and then the show just starts around her.

It's very theatrical. Like in the pilot, how she's doing stand-up, talking to the studio audience, and all of a sudden the plane just comes in, the set moves, and the plane starts. This kid dreams, Joe, because let me tell you something. Some shit he asked for, I was like,

you shouldn't ask these people for all their money like that. So when the plane idea, he was like, oh, I got this idea. Because it was my idea to sit on the plane and have that uncomfortable conversation with the white woman. Well, I used to fly Southwest, right? So I was A+. So I would block my seat off going back to Indiana because it was full of white people. And I wanted to have conversation about real life, race, abortion. Just start a conversation.

So I would block my seat off, usually for a white man, because those are the ones that once you got them sitting down and they can't go nowhere, you can ride their ass like hard dick. And I wouldn't do anything like racist. I would just start a casual conversation and let them know, it's okay, I want to know your opinion on these on race or whatever and they were most time they were open up and talk to me and when I gave him that idea hey we should have a conversation about this is what I do every week on fucking Southwest he

wrote it but then he come up he said I think the plane should open up I said don't ask CP for all day money stop that bullshit he's like no I got this vision and I'm like this kid is gonna get us kicked out this motherfucking studio and damn but the guy started building it's like we never done anything like this and then you seen how it ended up which was so fucking beautiful and then the next thing he asked for was before that he said we standing at lee daniel's oh what do you think about debbie allen directing nepal i said bitch ain't even famous deb Debbie Allen don't know who the fuck I am you think she gonna come fucking direct something for all no name ass and he was like Lee asked Debbie Allen Lisa oh I asked her he sent it to her she said I'm gonna direct this fucking pilot and I was

like keep asking motherfucker it was so dumb because they were like they were we were looking at lists of directors and there was all these white guys and women. It was good people, really good people. But then I remember I was watching a rerun of A Different World, and then Debbie Allen's name came across the screen. I was like, what about Debbie Allen? And then I didn't know what to think because the show is R-rated. It's so nasty. So I didn't know if Debbie Allen was going to want to do— It's not nasty.

It's not that R-rated. It's Christian. I didn't know if Debbie Allen was going to want to do. It's not nasty. It's not that R-rated. It's Christian. I didn't know. Christian my ass. I didn't know if Debbie Allen was going to want to be a part of it. But she read that script and she fell in love with it. And she just jumped on board and she added so much beauty to it. I have to tell you.

Did you tell him about when you had dinner with Phylicia Rashad? We sat down and had dinner with Phylicia Rashad who played Claire Huxtable. Can you imagine Miss Pat and Claire Huxtable across the table what was that she was she was like the wife we see she was like you're so colorful

I said what the fuck is wrong with your sister Debbie and so you know Debbie is married to Norm Nixon he's like tell about your daughter be eating that pussy i said you want me to tell no felicia rashad laughed so hard and then she just came alive i was like oh my god she's human she's beautiful but it was like we was really scared i was really scared to send debbie this because you know debbie is like you know, the black princess of African-Americans.

We just fucking love her. She's royalty. And so we flew to Atlanta. She was shooting a movie with. That was another backdoor situation. Yeah, that was another backdoor. Because they didn't want Debbie Allen. I didn't say that.

What? She was like, we're not saying who, but they were like, you know, she hasn't directed a sitcom in 25 years, so how could, it was like, you don't forget how to direct, you know what I mean? It was like a thing where it's like, you know,

everybody wants the new thing, everybody wants the new and the new and the new. Fucking executive. But it was just a thing where it was like, no, like,

we promise you, she can kill it. And so Pat was like, you know what we gonna do? I said, well, she said, we gonna back door

these motherfuckers again and we gonna fly to Atlanta. We jumped our black ass on a plane. I said, shut the fuck up. They was like, you know what we're going to do? I said, what? She said, we're going to backdoor these motherfuckers again, and we're going to fly to Atlanta. We jumped our black ass on a plane. I said, shut the fuck up. They was like, well, we got a whole list of directors. I said, well, you go ahead and keep typing. We flew to Atlanta. I don't listen, though, but I believe in myself.

I said, keep typing, motherfuckers. And I said, okay, send a list. I said, Jordan, get your motherfucking ass and meet me in Atlanta. We're going to meet Debbie Allen. We walked up on that set. We talked to her. We left. She got Debbie Allen. We walked up on that set. We talked to her. We left. We're like, oh, she got the job.

Wow. Because she knew that I wanted to return to that old school vibe. Everybody does live tracks now. Everybody has a different way of writing now. But I wanted to go back to that old school vibe where it was like, you know, you would shoot two shows. Like for that pilot, we shot two shows. We had two different audiences. We had a 4 o'clock show and a seven o'clock

show and we edited it together. So that way you keep that speed. So you're not asking the audience to laugh at the same scene over and over and over again. It's like you just go straight through and you move move move move move. And she understood exactly what I was trying to do. It's like theater. It's like a repertory theater. And so

like as soon it was like it was like the three of us were just a trifecta It was oh my god. She took me in her bag. She took me we went to her house Oh my gosh, you can fucking cook to lamb chop Debbie. I love you So she took me to her house and what she what she did fuck dance with Michael Jackson It's showing the moves and shit and she worked with my acting and and it did she would just tell us stories And she just really fucking helped me out so much. And that's another reason why I wanted her to direct it. Because I felt like she knew what it was.

You know, I'm young. I mean, I'm not young, but I'm a young actor. And she just wrapped her fucking arms around me. She said, I'm going to show you exactly what the fuck can do. And boy, we had a week, two weeks, a week or two weeks rehearsal. And she rolled my ass because that was times i would leave that rehearsal and go to her fucking house and rehearse some more wow and she wasn't even getting paid for that but and that was all because she cared i just have a

hard time believing that someone would push back on her directing it man you'd be surprised i'm not surprised though just fucking executives it's executives that They're young people who eat fucking Brussels sprouts. Not the Brussels sprouts. What's that little shit that look like little hay on your plate? No, I like quinoa. What are you talking about? The little Brussels something. Bean sprouts?

Bean sprouts. Them motherfuckers. Yeah. People who eat bean sprouts. They eat bean sprouts with nothing on them. And they're making the fucking decision. They're empty- minded motherfuckers. And you're like, this could make you laugh if I got butt naked.

And I was like, just stupid. I was like, okay, it's y'all money, whatever you want to do. The beautiful thing is as the show becomes successful, and I believe it will become successful, you'll be able to do whatever the fuck you want to do. I would pray and hope that they would listen a little bit more. They're going to listen. You know, believe it, you that they would listen a little bit more. You know, trust me a little bit.

That's why shows like South Park is the best example. They don't even have to talk to Comedy Central anymore. They just deliver their episodes. Wow. Yeah, they're like, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Here it is. Shut up. And when you're a young writer, that was another glitch we had, like the writing room. You know, you mess around and you hire people that don't get your show.

Oh, my God. And writers are the most sensitive motherfuckers I ever met in my life. Well, we're comics, right? Yeah. So if you don't like something, Joe, you're like, man, Pat, that shit ain't funny. Right? We talk shit to each other. We talk shit to each other.

But I didn't know that you couldn't bring that in the writing room. So I was like, dude, that shit ain't funny. Stop laughing at your motherfucking self. Yes. She would. I was like, this, that shit ain't funny. Stop laughing at your mother. Yes. Yes. I was like, this shit is horrible. Who the fuck wrote this? You think I've been doing this shit 20 years and I got in trouble. But I'm like, I'm a fucking comic.

When you say in trouble, like what happens? Somebody. I had to go out and get some. I had to get a life coach. A life coach? Yeah, they met there. She helped the shit out of me. You had to go get a life coach.

Yeah. They told you to get a life coach? I had to get a life coach. Because the way you're communicating with the writers? Yeah. That weren't funny? Yeah. Because you don't supposed to say.

Why would anybody fuck with your chemistry, like who you are? I don't know but but you know what it is it has a lot to do with the fact that you know people see that we've never done this before and they don't listen you know what i mean it's people who have like been doing it for 30 40 years so when we come in and we're like no we want to do it like this they're like that's not how it works it's like that's the point we don't want to do how it works we want to do the other thing right and i think that for pat it the point. We don't want to do how it works. We want to do the other thing. Right. And I think that for Pat, it was like,

she just wasn't used to having to like communicate in a way where, where you didn't piss people off. Like they're, they're not used to that. They're used to people being like, Oh, we love this or, Oh,

you know what I mean? But probably be like, that's not funny. Stop laughing. Now, what does a life coach tell you? Um, you can't tell people that shit ain't funny but that's the only way you get to the point yeah and then so i started using we're like can we try a little harder

the problem is if someone's writing shit that's not funny and they think it's funny they're probably not good uh thank you and then so and i was saying that in the beginning you you suck stop it you know but i don't think they suck i think that people have been trained to write a certain way in hollywood they write what's palatable they write you know the thing that gets them the check the thing that they didn't care about anything right i cared about this i cared about this. I cared about this. And I was like, if I'm going to go down, I'm going to go down with my fucking mistakes. Not nothing that I'll let you talk me into doing.

And that was the hard part. You know, I'm like, this is the Miss Pat show. This is not your show. You know, well, you can't say those things. Well, I'm a comic. We tell each other all the time, that joke ain't funny. That shit, get the fuck out of here. You i heard that whack ass shit well not only that comics will thank you because they know that oh you're right and then they know they have to go either abandon it or

start from scratch yeah i mean i had a joke in my shit a board game boy i'm like nigga please board game board but yeah that been on every sitcom from the day sitcom were created i don't know what you're saying me either i think she said like like somebody was like we're playing board games we're so bored playing poor games like something like that oh yeah like i had never heard that i'm like and then i was and then you would pick it out and the people would get offended i'm like you know i'm not trying to throw any writers up but you do you I just know this show was about me and I used to tell me bitch you can't out funny me I think Jordan is right though that if they're getting jobs they're writing you know they have like a standard way exactly of doing it and it's probably

getting them gigs and they're used to right so when you challenge that they're like what are you doing right like have you ever you ever try to watch, what is that show, Big Bang Theory? You ever try to watch that show? Shut up, Joe. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Try watching it. It's like they're writing it for aliens.

But meanwhile, that show made a fucking billion dollars. Somebody watch it. I don't understand it, but it was very popular. It's for people who get home from work and they're on pills. And they're standing there staring at it. And it tells them when to laugh. home from work and they're on pills and they're standing there staring at it and it tells them when to laugh but i think that that's why like people like but that's why we wanted to do a different kind of sick because it's just it's such a if you watch sitcoms now it's just corny it's just corny it's a formula and they press a live track and they're like like we were in the

middle of a pandemic but i still wanted to fight for a live studio audience i was like how are we gonna know the joke is funny if we don't have real people laughing? Just because we think it's funny doesn't mean it actually lands. You have to try it out in front of an audience. We would do shoots. We would shoot the episode without an audience. Stop hitting the fucking table. You don't pick up the mic.

Shoot the episode without an audience and then shoot the episode with the audience. And we never used the footage without an audience because the energy was just different. It's different. It's just a different energy. So I would say like 95% of what you see when you watch the show is all live audience. Especially with you. Well, I did learn a lot too.

I'm sure. I learned the things you can't say to writers. What is that experience like with a life coach? They sit in a room. No, they on the phone. Oh, it's on the phone. When you want to vent, you call that person and they'll tell you how to go by instead instead of saying you know motherfucker i knock your goddamn head off so they got it wasn't even in person they wanted you to life

coach over the phone we did it zoom but it helped so fucking much really it really did help me she shifted she that was a big shift. It was a big, it was corporate world. I wasn't used to corporate. You and me talking about corporate, I'm stealing. But this time,

you know, I learned a lot. I really did. She calmed me the fuck down. I mean, she taught me how to breathe when I was upset. I mean,

she taught me how to choose better words because I'm from the street. I'm ready to fight, motherfucker. Shut the fuck up. You know, that's how I am. And it helped a lot.

It really did. Wow. That's interesting. Yeah. I mean, I was like, bitch, where you been? I've been needing you. I wouldn't have all you convicted fellas. When we met, I told you, I was like, you should probably go to therapy.

You were like, I ain't doing no goddamn therapy. Comedy, my therapy. Yeah. Well, if you keep going, then you'll be able to put together a writing room that compliments your style. Right. That's the goal. That's the goal. Because I felt like there was a lot of, I felt like a lot of my energy was spent just hovering almost.

Because I wanted to make sure that everything was just right. And I didn't want her to have to worry about it. Cause she already got to learn the script. So I don't want her to have to worry about like, oh, the joke doesn't work. Or, oh, this story doesn't make sense. Or, oh, so it was a lot of like trying to, it was a lot of rewriting.

Like both of us, she would call me at like five o'clock in the morning, we would get a script. She would call me at five o'clock in the morning and cry. Be like, I don't know what they doing about themselves. It was just one episode that made me cry. I said, I don't know what the fuck this writer wrote, but Joe, I was crying. I said, get the fuck up right now.

This shit done dried my puss out. We about to die. I was hot. Joe, the joke. I thought I was going to die. It was hot, flashy, everything. I just couldn't do it. But it's like that's the best thing.

They worked hard. They worked hard. They worked hard. But it just didn't mesh. The way we tell stories and the way that they tell stories just didn't. Some of them. But we had some really great writers. I'm going to be honest with you.

We rewrote the whole fucking season. Literally, there was not a strip that we did not touch. And we learned a lot about that. I mean, from credits to everything else. We touched. We, you know, we, that was not a night that when they turned in a strip, we didn't have to go back and fix. Twelve episodes.

A lot of writing. But it makes sense with a new show, too, because it's like, you know, it's a new machine. So it's like we have to, like, they did great. Like, they're good. I don't want them to watch this and be like, oh, they did great. But it was just a thing where we... Some of the voices wasn't ringing all

the way through, because my daughter wrote on the show. Oh, really? Yeah, my youngest daughter wrote on the show. Oh, wow. That was her that... What's the name of the episode? Oh, really? Yeah. My youngest daughter wrote on the show. Oh, wow. That was her. What's the name of the episode? Them, Their, They? That's my daughter's episode.

She wrote that. Even her episode, we had to go back and touch. So it wasn't about if they wasn't good enough. It was more about some of it I had to put more of my voice in it. It wasn't ringing home true to who I was in some of the episodes. And we kind of got an understanding with the writing room. Hey, yeah, we're going to have to touch every strip. Because this is our project, and nobody cares about it like we did. Well, no one's going to understand what you're trying to accomplish other than you.

Especially if you get some person 32 years old who has been writing sitcoms for the last two years, and they think they know what they're doing, and they sit down with you. And with you and then like who is this fucking tornado of a woman like this is ridiculous like try finance like try preparing for someone like you without ever meeting someone like you you know so you got to look at it from their perspective too right it's a it's a shock yeah they can't pretend someone like you exists and write it you know they have to kind of meet you and then they meet you like what the fuck like, they have to kind of meet you, and then they meet you, and what the fuck? Like, they would have to, like, listen to you on every podcast, watch your stand-up, and get a sense of who you are.

And even then, they'd probably be too timid to write the way you speak. Well, I'm really a nice person, John. You're a very nice person. I love everybody. You really do. But I'm going to say that shit ain't funny. Yeah. And I think I should have that right to say that shit ain't funny. Yeah. And I think I should have that right to say that shit ain't funny.

It's important because if you don't say it, then they just do it the way they wrote it and then it sucks. And then it's you. I had a podcast with the guy from, what's the comedian named? The redneck dude. Want to be a redneck? I cannot think of his name. Oh, Jeff oh jeff fox yeah so i did his podcast and he said he has a podcast yeah he has a podcast and um i was doing a podcast with him one day and he was saying um that was some of the problem that he had he was like i wouldn't say this shit

right and he said he said sometimes to the point where they didn't even want him in the writer's room that's hilarious they did that with roseanne too they even want him in the writer's room. That's hilarious. They did that with Roseanne, too. They kicked her out of the writer's room? Yeah, the new series for the second season, they kicked her out of the writer's room. Executives have these ideas, and writers have these ideas, like we know what we're doing. And when you have a strong voice like yours,

especially yours because it's so unusual, like try fun. Like Miss Pat is like you don't have another example. There's no other one like you like try to find another Miss Pat. So for them to try to like put it together, you've got a regular person like, oh, he's like Tim Allen or oh, he's like this person. Like you can do that with a lot of sitcoms. But with you, they're fucked. Like they would literally have to try to think like you. And that's hard.

It's hard to do. But this kid got it. Yeah, Jordan got it. But that's the thing is that this kid, right? He's not corrupted by the system yet. And for you to get out of the gate with a show like this, I mean, this is amazing. It's an amazing opportunity for you. But it's also perfect for you

because he's fresh and he's not fucked up by this goofy machine that makes terrible TV shows. Because there is a machine, and they make a lot of money off those terrible shows. They want to keep making those stupid fucking shows. Yeah, and that's what I was happy to.

I was like, oh my God, I'm so happy because he's got so many other projects now on the book. Oh, do you? Yeah. I said, he's writing a movie now. 26? Yeah, for Netflix. Out the door.

Yeah. Guns blazing. I mean, when I first met him, he didn't have no food. He got on Prada Books today, Joe. Wow. She's not lying, though. She's not lying. Yeah, I mean, to see see I was like Oh I remember

When I was loaning you My card He get credit Better than mine But he believed in it And I mean That's what That's what

That's what I loved the most And I just wanted to see I just wanted to see I didn't want her to Cause I could only imagine What the show Would have been And I just didn't want her

To get put on TV In front of a screen And not be herself Right It just would have been painful I don just didn't want her to get put on TV in front of a screen and not be herself. It just would have been painful. I don't know if you, I don't know if you ain't got a black mama, but my mom is like, she's like Pat. She talks like Pat.

But then it's like, when you get on the phone with executives or white people or rich people, it's like, if you don't sit your ass down i'm gonna hello hi hi and i just didn't want it to be that i didn't want i wanted her to be her right and i feel like that's why i kept bringing up like richard pryor and red fox and and flip wilson and all these comedians who lawanda page who couldn't be themselves on these shows and it's like her crown was bought and paid for, and now she just has to put it on.

Like they did all that so she could do the Miss Pat show on BET+. You know what I mean? Yeah. No, that was my fear watching it, that they weren't going to get you. And that they're going to put you in some sitcom. But then when I watched it, I'm like, this is you. It's actually you. And for people that don't understand how hard that is to do,

it's one thing for a person to be themselves. It's another thing for someone to write out that person and write that person interacting with a fake husband and fake children and a fake kitchen and try to put it together and make it seem like it's really you really having fun with your family. And you nailed it. You did it. One of the hardest things in all of the sitcom world

is taking a comedian and recreating their voice for a show. It's very hard, and very few shows have ever done it right. Yeah, that's what I hear all the time. It's really true. I mean, if you go back and think about all the different shows where a comedian starred in that show and played some goofy caricature of themselves that's what most of them are most of the they very rarely nail the essence but your show is you it really is you so you should be proud of that thank you thank you I don't i can't imagine

it's not going to be huge i really can't i think it's going to be huge i really do it's fucking good well thank you joe y'all heard your role the same way you buy them muscle balls all that all that soy milk. All the good shit he tell you. Soy milk? How do you drink soy milk? How dare you? I don't know what people do for health and shit. I mean, I drink cow milk.

This is like vitamin. I do too. I drink cow milk. I don't fucking like soy milk. I stopped drinking it. Now I only use it if I'm cooking. Because now I just feel weird. I feel like I'm sucking on somebody's titty when I'm drinking it.

It's nasty. A little bit. Why? It tastes good with cookies, though. Because we're the only species that drinks other species' milk. Yeah, you know what else we do? We fly planes. We make movies.

You ain't lying about that. And we shoot guns. We do a lot of shit that other species don't do. And we suck cow titties. Yeah. I ain't never sucked no cow titties. When you drink milk, you do. I ain't sucking no titties.

You got me fucked up. You don't have to suck them. Somebody else did it for you. Somebody else did it and I paid for it. Exactly. Yeah. So you don't... Well, like when I make

a macaroni and cheese or you're baking a cake or something. Oh, then you'll accept it. Yeah. Then I get to suck the cow titty. You ain't sucking no cow titty. What are you talking about?

I feel like I'm sucking cow titty. Something is mentally wrong with you. I guess so. I guess so. But you just... I'd rather say almond titties Because almonds don't have titties Almonds are ridiculous No almonds don't have titties

So when you drink almond milk it's good This is not milk you shouldn't call it milk Why not it's milk But I have to fool myself because it's white and it's creamy Don't ruin my face It's just fucked up almond water. Yeah. What that got to do with milk?

What does that have to do with milk? It's white and creamy. I mean, I guess. It ain't a gallon of it, but it's white and creamy. Apparently not if you get a vasectomy. Yeah. That's less creamy. Well, your man ain't got no vasectomy.

I don't understand. I think he anti-titties. Well, I think it's just... I don't mind titties. There's a lot of people that have that thought about milk, that we are the only species that drinks the milk of other animals. The vegan people say the same thing. Don't eat the...

Women running around here with blood on they self and KFC. I'm like, bitch, I don't care what you do. Don't you bring your ass down to Chick-fil-A with this bullshit. Don't you come down to Chick-fil-A. People do that to protest. They put blood on their self. Yeah, somebody was standing in KFC with fucking blood. You're killing the chickens, and I'm going to fuck you up if you fuck up my number one.

See, they don't know because that ain't real chicken. What are you? Ain't nobody getting killed. KFC's not real chicken. Don't say that shit. This is Joe Rogan Park. Can you get sued? It's good. I heard it wasn't real. What? I heard that a lot of fast food chicken is not

chicken. Listen, if you buy Kentucky Fried Chicken and it has a bone in it, they're not putting bones in fake chickens. But what about the shots? Don't they put the shots in the shit? It's literally cheaper. They put the shots in everything. You've been here.

No, no, no. You got the COVID shot. What the fuck you worry about it for? Those shots are expensive. What they've done is they've selective breeding and they've created these animals that grow faster and they have larger breasts. They create it. That's the problem. What do you mean by create it?

I'm trying to explain to you. Every time you nut, you create something. No, no, no. That's the problem. What do you mean by create it? I'm trying to explain to you. Every time you nut, you create something. No, no, no. It's selective breeding. It's the same reason why we have poodles and we also have German shepherds. It's selective breeding. So they take big chickens to fuck other big chickens. They turn chickens into this new thing that they can't.

If you buy like a chicken from 50, 60 years ago, it took a long time for those chickens to get large. Now chickens grow large way quicker. They're way bigger than they used to be before. And everybody thinks they're pumping chickens with steroids. They're not. They're not. It's selective breeding. They do use antibiotics with cows.

The reason why they use antibiotics with cows, though, is because they're feeding them things that the cows are not supposed to eat, and they develop all these infections. Because cows are not supposed to be eating corn. When you buy a steak and it's all that marbling, what that is is a sick animal. Oh, man. And if you give those, that's why it has so much fat in it. If you give those animals antibiotics,

you can keep them from getting ill, and they can get them to slaughter. But even like animals, like even if you buy cows, steroids are expensive. They're not going to fill them up with steroids. It's selective breeding for the most part. So do you buy your meat from the street? Excuse me?

Do you buy your meat from the grocery store? I hunt. I know. I still hunt. Most of the meat that I eat, I like to get it myself. Really? Sometimes I'll be tapping on,

God damn it, Joe, you been fucking up my diet. Do you, I've always been so curious. I would like to do that, but I feel like I would have pity on that. I couldn't watch me shoot them. There's definitely a sense of loss. There's definitely a feeling of loss.

Do you have a moment of silence? Yeah. What do you kill it? Elk, mostly. Because if I shoot one elk, I could eat it for a year. I go elk hunting every September. What does elk i can eat it for a year like i go out every september delicious it's amazing is it is it is it grainy like deer well it's like deer but more delicious and it's darker it's like a dark red and it's it's fantastic so you don't buy meat at

the grocery store i do i still buy meat at the grocery store but for the most part i like to get my meat from hunting that's so cool do you kill pigs too i'll kill the shit out of oh shit yeah oh yeah especially wild ones because there's so many that's the only one do you eat them too yeah do you shoot chickens no no i've never killed a chicken except my mama did i almost killed a chicken that tried to bite my daughter chickens are ruthless little fucks. I don't know if you know this, but chickens are like little dinosaurs. I used to have chickens, but they got all killed by coyotes when I lived in L.A.

But if you put a baby mouse in a room with chickens, they will swarm on it faster than a cat. Why? They are ferocious. They're ferocious. Wow. They are sucherocious. They're ferocious. Wow. They are such little monsters. Like if they find a mouse, they attack that fucking mouse. A rat?

A rat will not survive five seconds in a chicken coop. Chicken eat rats? Oh my God. They don't just eat them. They run after them and fucking attack them. What? Savagely. They tear mice apart.

They were fighting over it. I put a mouse in the chicken coop. It's a long story, but here's the story. We put a glass fence on my house, and hawks would be flying into this fence and knocking themselves out. It was kind of fucked up. We KO'd like three or four hawks. It was not good. So we're trying to figure out what to do with this one hawk.

It was wounded, but it was still alive, and we had to bring it to this wildlife rescue center. So over the weekend the center was closed we had to wait till monday and the chick the hawk got fucked up on friday so we went to the store and you buy these things called pinkies what pinkies are little baby mice that they feed to like reptiles people own snakes and shit like that so my daughters rehabilitated this hawk and fed it these little pinkies, and it ate a few of them, but it had one left. And they were like, we want to keep that one and raise it. You just fed the other ones to this fucking hawk.

Now you want to raise it? And I'm like, first of all, it's a mouse. You're not going to have a pet mouse. And second of all, this little baby needs milk to survive. It's not weaned yet. They literally sell them to be fed almost immediately to reptiles and lizards so we eventually just get over this and i tell them i'm gonna go feed it to the chickens so i go out into the chicken coop i open the door of the

chicken coop i put this thing down and they knew exactly what it was they just wow they've Swarmed on it one chicken got it and the rest of the chickens chased this chicken around They were trying to pull it out of her face. It was wild the most ferocious shit. I've ever seen in my life I've never heard there there's a fun video of a chicken and a mouse and a cat and the cat is trying to play with this mouse and the cat is trying to play with this mouse, and the cat is creeping up on this mouse, and the chicken's like, bitch, give me that!

And runs over and steals it from the cat. Wow. And the chicken just starts fucking it up. And they don't play with their food either. They kill it. This is why I don't mess with birds. Watch this. Look at this cat.

See this cat? So the cat's got the mouse, and it's like, look at this mouse. I can't believe I got him. And cats, you know, they're playing on their instincts. And so this cat is, like, fucking around with this mouse but not killing it, just swatting at it. And the chicken recognizes that this cat is pussyfooting around.

Look at that chicken. Look at this chicken. Oh! No, he did not. Yes, he did. You son of a bitch. Yeah, look at that. He's like, give me that shit. Oh! Look at him. No, he did not. Yes, he did. You son of a bitch. Yeah, look at that. He's like, give me that shit.

Look at him tearing it apart. Not Ben. She's just slaughtering it. I'm turning vegan. Oh, my God. See, this is why I don't fuck with birds. And that cat just stepped back like, okay, you got it. I've never seen.

I didn't know. Wow. Chickens are ruthless. This chicken attacked my daughter when she was like three and was pecking at her feet. And my wife was like, she didn't know that the chicken didn't know. I go, no, she knew. She was trying to eat her. They try to eat each other.

They're pecking each other. That's why they call it pecking order. Like chickens will murder each other. So you went out there and slapped the shit out of the chicken. I grabbed that little motherfucker. And I was like, you have seconds left to live. Seconds. Did you eat him after you killed him?

No, I didn't kill it. I didn't kill it. But my wife was like, just give it a chance. She never fucked with my daughter again. She never fucked with anybody again. You jacked the chicken up, Joe? I grabbed it by its neck. I grabbed it by its neck.

And they were trying to talk me into not killing it right there and then. I was like, I will fucking kill you. And the chicken was like, okay. I put it down, and that was the end of that. Never did it again. It's almost like it knew. One time, I had just remodeled my house. I lived in Riverdale, Georgia.

And I don't know how these rats got in my house, big-ass rats. And they had chewed through the capnins, and I had just had some brand-new capnins put in. And my husband go down and start to fix my daughter's big ass rats. And they had chewed through the capnets that I had just had some brand new capnets put in. And my husband go downstairs to fix my daughter Barda, Joe, and my daughter Garyana probably was three months old and he cut on the light and two big ass rats in the kitchen. He came back upstairs, he said,

motherfucking rats trying to get my baby. And he go back downstairs and it was a can of tuna because we had been shopping. And he got up on the island and this motherfucker threw this can of tuna and hit this cat on the head. I mean, he hit this rat on the head. The rat stood up and said, and just fell

back when the other rat said, these niggas killing niggas. That motherfucking rat squared back through that hole. He killed him with a can of tuna. He stood up like he was praying and just fell back. fucking rat square back through that hole he killed him with a can of tuna oh my god he stood up like he was praying joe and just fell and i said no don't hit him no more don't hit him my husband don't give a fuck one time a squirrel got in the house and i was so scared my daughter

was i had a c-6 with my son so it was just me and one other kid had to stay home and help me all day we we in the room, scared of them motherfuckers. My husband come on front. I said, it's a fucking squirrel down stairs. It's a squirrel down stairs. And we ain't been able to eat all day because we scared of the squirrel. My husband went in that living room, moved that stuff, slapped the shit out that squirrel, and opened the back door and kicked that motherfucker so hard, it went, it just, it caught on to the tree.

I said, yeah. inches it caught on to the tree you going to jail for animal abuse he had just bought a truck once I come out all these cats just laying on top of the truck he whooped him cats ass do you help me he's a he don't abuse animal okay don't be calling Peter on a nigga he just don't want you in his house or sitting on his new truck. I understand. I went to the airport once and I left my car there for a week. We went to Italy and we came back home and cats at the airport, they live there. There's a bunch of cats living

at LAX. They had shit all over my car. I mean, all over it. It was all over the ceiling of the moonroof was covered with shit and piss. They had decided that my truck was a litter box. It was disgusting. And they stink.

I think it's still on Instagram somewhere. Do you have cats? Not anymore, no. What, you got dogs? Your dog got more followers than I do. He's so cute. What kind of dog do you have? He's a golden retriever. I had a German shepherd pup pup

Oh those are great They're smart dogs though Yeah he killed himself though Oh no What happened? Ronald Reagan got reelected He jumped off the back porch That was the cover of my sunroof

Wow By the way That's just a little bit of it When I drove It was making all this noise I was like What the fuck is on the roof And we stopped

And my daughter started laughing They said There's shit on your roof I'm like No Joe that don't look like cat turds That look like grown up No that was cats

I saw the cats Oh Yeah They had them dried out And everything You was gone for a while We were gone for like It says

I was parked there for 11 days when we were in Italy. They had shit and pissed all over the sunroof. It was crazy. They like your car. You drove for 35 miles. That's all that was left.

Yeah. Well, that was after I drove, right? That was at the gas station. So I drove 35 miles home. So you didn't get bottled water and poured on top of it? No, I got it washed.

Took it somewhere. Did it leak in your car? No, no, no, no. It was just a glass sunroof. But why they decided to shit there? Like, they literally shit only on the glass. They knew that was your car. Maybe.

They knew. It was fans. They thought this was going to be funny. They're like, he's going to laugh at this. But I guess they keep cats at LAX to keep the rat population down. Really? They need to take them to New York? That's what? Also, they

do that on purpose. They do it at Disneyland too, you know. At Disneyland, they have wild cats running around. You'll see them at Disneyland. I fucking love, I just love Disney. You know, I am a Disney freak. I fucking love Disney. Universe Studio, I make them go every year. I went to, let me tell you,

so I was doing a radio interview and somebody, the guy was like, oh Miss Pat Pat, you got to do the VIP pass. I'm quite sure you know the VIP pass. I don't know. I'm black. I just got a few dollars. So I was like, so I called my traveler. I said, what's the fuck is the VIP pass?

She said, I didn't think you wanted to pay that much. It's 18 of us. I said, well, shit, you only live once. Why not? So she called me. She said, $12,000. I was like these ain't got that kind of money so i paid for everybody oh joe it was so good oh

well that i only wrote three rides but when i tell you uh i felt i kind of felt embarrassed a little bit because they take you through that side door and you pop out and everybody's like is that's an athlete is that that some movie stuff? Who the fuck is him? And it was 18 of us and I could just hear the chatter. Who the fuck is these people? And I kind of feel like,

I felt bad a little bit and then my friends who I was with, they would get out the ride and they want to get back on and I was like, you some greedy motherfuckers. These people are waiting.

And so they was like, would you like to ride again? He was like, yeah. And they just kept jumping on the fucking rides and other people had to wait. Have ever been to disney world in florida uh no that's we went we went to disney world yeah we did yeah um disney world has that avatar ride did you do that oh yeah oh not me they did it i don't do I don't do it. It's amazing. It's so cool. You're flying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My friends were throwing up. Flights of something or another. It's fucking incredible. It's all virtual reality. You have headsets on. It's like you sit on top of this thing. It looks like a motorcycle or a jet ski.

But they strap you in. And in the virtual reality, you're flying on one of those dragons. It's the best ride of all time. Man, I think they rode it three or four times a day. That's the ride. They rode it. Joe, we was finished with the park by 2 o'clock. Play the video so people can see what it looks like when you ride it.

I'm telling you, it is 100% the greatest ride I've ever been on by far. By far. Like, POV right there. Boom. Fights of Passage, POV. It's fucking incredible. They loved it. My family loved it, Joe.

You could feel the breeze and shit. Like, they have fans blowing on you. And the scents of the flowers and the water. And you have to, like, sync up to that thing that you fly on. What is it? The dragon bird or whatever the fuck it is. You link to it, and then you fly off it's wild i mean it is fucking wild and i i love i love uh disney world yeah you stay at a resort i know i'm quite sure you got a home down there no i don't have a home florida i love the resort

i stayed at the um what did i stay the uh contemporary it was okay but i'm on my way back for memorial day and it's like 60 of us going you excited yeah i love fucking this you know and i don't do a lot of rides it's just like just seeing you know because i don't have family real family you know just the people that i take in and then i'm always you know just to see the people that i gather and see the smile on their faces. Yeah. You know, because I'm 49. I'm not going to get on that bullshit.

But I just feel like I'm with family. I'm having fun. And it makes me happy. And it's like Disney again. Disney again, bitch. It's either the boat or the park. And you're going to shut the fuck up because I can finally afford to go to Disney. And I didn't even know Disney exists when I was a little girl.

Okay. So I'm going to fucking Disney. And she rode around on a scooter. Did you get a scooter? You got a Disney scooter? So my husband. How dare you? How dare you?

Fuck you, Jordan. You know how to walk? What the fuck are you doing on one of those scooters? Let me tell you what happened. Don't you tell me shit. No, no. My husband got me. Fuck you, Joe.

It's hot out there. I had a wig on. He tried to give a bitch a heat stroke. You got a wig on? So my husband has a torn ACL, so I rented the scooter for him. And he was like, I'm not getting on that old people shit. And I'm like, you don't want to ride the scooter? I don't pay for it.

He's like, I can fucking walk. So I said, fuck it. I'm getting on the fucking scooter. So here I am, flying through the park on the fucking scooter. And we're walking there and fucking walking. So I had the scooter already rented and paid for. I showed it and rode that fucking

scooter. So you took a ride to get on the rides. Oh my God. My husband's like, you should really get off that fucking scooter what would you have done if someone recognized you uh i got recognized like twice i told my kids don't ask for shit. We just left Disney. That's awesome. Yeah, that's my niece.

We had so much fun. I get into it, Joe. We got to have the ears. You have to have the shirts. If you don't participate, I kick you the fuck out of my group.

You have to stay where I'm staying. You got to have the spirit. Yeah, you got to. And if you can't afford it, we're going to sell cookies or t-shirts

till we all can afford this shit. And some people, I was like, look, motherfucker, come on on the road with me. You can work for me a little while.

We're going to do a bake sale. We're going to go. We're going to do this shit the right way. Because the experience I had last year, I'm like, you're never going to get me

to do park hopping again. You're never going to get me at a Motel 6 again. Bitch, I had a resort where they make up your bed when you blink your eye. You want to hear something crazy?

So we're walking to the resort. It's 18 bucks. So I rented a car, and my kids got on that Mickey bus, right? My whole family. So we walk in, we all dressed alike. Joe, I'm not going to say the day was racy, but when you see 18 black folks walking to a place, you know,

you ain't used to seeing white folks like, what the fuck? They sort of ask, are y'all a reunion? I'm like, no, motherfucker, are you a reunion? Are you a reunion? We kept getting asked, are you guys a reunion? What are you celebrating? We on vacation, white people.

Ain't you on vacation? And we got asked that shit like a hundred times. Are you a reunion What do you guys celebrate Nothing What the fuck Are you and them Four white babies

Celebrating We on vacation White people We just dressed alike Can you leave us The fuck alone They kept asking us that Cause every park

I had a t-shirt for And you have to wear My fucking t-shirt And eels And hats I go all out And I do it all myself in between all of this bullshit I've been doing.

And the whole weekend. Every park you had a different shirt? Mm-hmm. I've already started making shirts. I've already started making shirts. With Disney World, for people who've only been to Disneyland, Disney World is like 10 times bigger.

Yeah. 10 times bigger. It's so big. I went and I could only go. I was supposed to be there for two days, but it stormed, so my flight got canceled. So I could only do four parks in one day. Oh, my feet was hurting. My feet was hurting going from Epcot to what's the other one?

Animal Kingdom. And you know what? Disney is so, there was, okay, I bought all the Disney parts, and then we did the VIP at the Universal. But it rained so bad during Fourth of July. Oh, it rains a lot down in Florida. So it rained so bad during 4th of July. It rains a lot down in Florida. So it rained so bad that we couldn't go to Epcot. So the lady who booked the trip

she's like, well, I never heard of Disney giving you money back or giving you a refund. I said, let me tell you something. Ms. Troup, my third grade teacher, said the dumbest question is the question not asked. I spent like six grand for all of these tickets and we didn't use. So she was like, well, Pat, you can give it a try. I said, shit, I'm going to ask

you anything, Joe. If I'm broken, I need to borrow something, I'm going to call you. Hey, Joe, I'm hurt. Loan a bit of some money. So I called and I said, look, we didn't use the 18 tickets. They said, no problem. Are you coming back next year? I said, hell yeah. Did you do the other Avatar

ride? The one where you get on a boat? We did all of them. That one's beautiful. I stayed behind because I had my grandkids, but I let them do. We were through with that, Paul. We had so much fun. Oh, that's awesome. And so this time I'm doing VIP for all of Disney and VIP for Universal, too.

Yeah. It's going to be dope. Orlando's a wild place in that regard, right? There's so much shit you can do down there. There's so much shit. You know down there. There's so much shit. You know, Disneyland is so big it has its own bass lake. Really? Yeah.

Disney will take you on a bass fishing tour. My youngest loves fishing. So when my daughter was down there with my wife at another place, I took my youngest to go bass fishing. Woke her up at like 5 o'clock in the morning. Really? Yeah, she loves it. I'm going to see if my husband wants to do that when we up at like five o'clock in the morning really yeah i'm gonna see if my husband want to do that when we go back yeah it's great i'm telling you it's like an amazing bass fishing lake like there's bass all over the place in this lake to keep it stocked

can you keep the bass no i don't like that kind of fishing yeah release them yeah i want to catch something i'm gonna eat yeah i understand normally i do that but my daughter was into it she just wanted to go yeah well i wonder what the fish be thinking like when you have to throw them back i'm like i'm are y'all stupid because why do you keep biting if you know that we always tell you but you always it's never real food but you keep biting it because there's plenty of real food out there though you're tricking them there's so much real food they put real well there is real food there's real fish they eat fish that's the only reason why they stay it's not like they don't survive off of what

they get when you're fishing with them like they survive off of minnows that are swimming around so they don't so it's like russian roulette you don't know right exactly they don't see that well their brains are very small that's what i was thinking i was like why did they kick don't you know it's a trick why do you think they don't get it on the hook no no well it's like it's like it's almost like it's almost like bad sex it's good but you keep going back well most of the time no it's a bad analogy this is why it's like if you if you kill if you eat a bass and that bass is five years old if that bass got caught once in its life that's a lot

so out of the five years it got caught once or maybe twice but 365 days a year it's eating something so all day oh so ah

that makes a lot of sense so all day every day it's out there fucking up other little fish and that's what bass do that's why their mouths are so big

you learn something yeah I know did you know that this boy actually thought they were just waiting on you to fish for them to eat literally

I didn't think that you've never been fishing no I've been fishing but we always keep them I never throw them back I fish for catfish so we never keep them oh yeah yeah

so like I've always I was like when people when it's a property that you have to throw them back why do they keep biting the damn hook they don't get caught that much if you if you think about a lake that's like uh you know a thousand acre lake or however big this lake is how many fish are in

there it's like who the knows hundreds of thousands of fish that's to see i'm not used to fishing at big places like that he looked po dirt po dirt Texas, okay? This baby just got, Joe's going to have to work for him. He's going to come visit a few more times. I love catfish. I love catfish. Oh, it's so good, ain't it? Yeah, it's great. Have you ever fried the tail?

It tastes like french fries. No. If you cut off the tail whenever you're cooking them and you just batter it and then put it in the pan, it tastes like french fries. My mom used to fry the head. The heads. The cheeks are good. You can cut the cheeks off.

She used to fry the catfish head and brim heads brim brim that's a fish yeah brim brim head brim you never had they got enough bones in the kill you if you want to kill your mate feed him a brim sandwich right yeah there's a lot of bony ass fish like pike and apparently tarpon tarpon's filled with bones a friend of mine caught a tarpon what is that one that's supposed to be a... I'm going to fuck up the word because I fuck up a lot of words. They make your dick hard. Which one? Fish? There's a fish?

I wish Chris was in because he knows everything to make your dick hard. There's a fish that makes your dick hard? Aphrodisiac. What's that shit? But there's a fish that's an aphrodisiac? What is it? Salmon? Salmon?

Get the fuck out of here. There's no salmon. Make your dick up. Like most seafood, salmon enjoys a rich history as a natural aphrodisiac. But it's only in recent times that we pinpoint this fish as a sexual powerhouse. That sounds like something was written by a salmon fisherman. I ain't never had no sex with nobody that ate no salmon. Have you ever fucked after eating salmon? Have I ever fucked after I had salmon? I'm sure ate no salmon. Have you ever fucked after eating salmon?

Have I ever fucked after I had salmon? I'm sure I have. Have you ever had sex after eating salmon? I'm sure I have. That's wild. I don't think it's any different. I've never, that doesn't make any sense. I don't, how could it be?

See, what does it say? Who fuck after they eat? I'll be up sleepy. Really? Who got that kind of energy? Me. Fish is loaded with minerals, amino acids, and heart-healthy fats that promote sexual well-being. Wow.

There you go. So I guess it's omega-3s. Shouldn't you let it digest first? I mean, your food, you just going to go banging on a full stomach, Joe? You're trying to throw up on a bitch. No, I'm not going to throw up. I would if you jiggled me. throw up.

I would if you jiggled me. That whole meal chicken. That shit gonna be right back in your face. That should be an episode of your show. Fucking after food. You can't do that joke. God damn. Everybody ain't in your shade. You get on the fat bitch, she gonna throw all of them on you. You gonna rock that whole meal

this should be an episode of your show about how to time how you after the food digest but when i took a nap okay after a food day so you're telling me you can eat a full meal and go in the bedroom and make love? Oh, hell yeah. That's dangerous. That's dangerous. Some of that shit might be still stuck in my esophagus. Really? Can you do that? Yeah. The fuck is wrong with me? I'm out of shape.

When I can eat, me and my husband, we both go to sleep. I think we're going to sleep at the table. There's nothing wrong with that either. So is it good to have salmon? I guess it would burn some calories. If you're horny.

Yeah, if you're horny. Who cares? I need an aphrodisiac. An aphrodisiac. Some salmon. I eat salmon all the time and they never did shit for me. Yeah, I don't believe in it. That don't make sense.

I'm at the point now, and I know you probably don't want to hear this shit because you're a man. I love to hear it. But I'm hot flashes, and they move. I'm 49. They move. They was in between my titties. Now they in between. They in my ass, Joe.

And this is when you hit menopause? You get these hot flashes? Well, it ain't stopping. Well, they coming. You get the symptoms, and then eventually you dry up. So it's just like you get like a heat. It feels like you got a heat. It's like somebody put a blow dryer

in between your titties and now it's in my butt. Yeah. It's in between my legs now. They be fucking up my panty liners. Jesus. Jesus.

They say that oysters are supposed to be an aphrodisiac, right? That makes sense because I think the way you eat them is very sexual. The way people eat oysters.

Right. They're like, yeah, it's very sexual. Yeah way you eat them is very sexual. The way people eat oysters. Right. They're like, yeah, it's very sexy. Yeah, you have to get in there. They look like undeveloped vaginas. I can't eat them. A little bit. But I think they're rich in zinc. I think that's why.

Zinc is good for hormones. I know how smart you is. I need you to get somebody on this podcast to tell me about hot flashing. How do we as women deal with hot flashes? That's a good question. I wonder if there's something that you could use to mitigate it, whether it's a diet thing or maybe it's a hormonal supplement thing. I've seen skinny people burning up, Joe.

No, no, that's not what I mean. I mean diet, like foods, like different foods that you can eat that can mitigate it. I don't mean like go on diet. Oh. I mean like your diet, like what you eat. But I think, I bet it's hormones. I bet like they could give you hormones.

What do they do for hot flashes? Jamie will find out. Ice packs. I bet it's like hormonal replacement. I bet that's what, estrogen. Yeah, there is. Oh, so you could take estrogen and stuff like that maybe. Yeah, you could take estrogen.

But then we grow neck hair. No, that's testosterone. The most effective way to release discomfort of hot flashes is to take estrogen. But then we grow neck hair. No, that's testosterone. The most effective way to release discomfort of hot flashes is to take estrogen. But taking this hormone carries risks. What are the risks? Let's see what it says here. The risks are you're going to want all the dick.

What are the risks? It didn't risks there's no okay where are the risks medications such as antidepressants and anti-seizure drugs which go no okay no but that's what i'm going through America. If you know some good ways to cool me down, because I'm at the point, I fly with no bra on. Just because of the hot flashes? Yeah. And I know the person sitting next to me, they be like, this bitch ain't got no bra on. I like those glasses, by the way. Oh, you do?

They look good on you. Oh, you don't ever like my glasses. I like those. Those fit. They look good. I can't see shit, so we can put that on those those fit they look good i can't see shit so we can put that on fucking cross side shit either yeah but um if you figure out a way please let us know how to cool me down because i bet it's the estrogen i bet that's what it is i'm quite sure that's what it is yeah what do i buy that oh plant estrogen asian women who consume

soy regularly are less likely to report hot flashes because soy actually elevates your estrogen. And other menopausal symptoms than women in other parts of the world. One reason might be related to the estrogen-like compounds in soy. However, studies have generally found little or no benefit with plant estrogens. Hmm. Interesting. So a bunch of different foods.

Ginseng. Vitamin E. Nothing. Just live. Live and burn up. Hot titties forever, Joe. Man, I want to give you something to talk about. What? The hot flashes. Oh yeah. Old bitches love that. They do.

They always like to talk about it. They always got fans out. Golden girl pussies I'm so old old bitches can't put landing strips on them we just let it grow and burn up do you let it grow now? yeah madness down there?

well you know I'm African American so it's like Jackson 5 down there Jackson 5 down there. Jackson 5? With no chemicals. I mean, I don't have time to be shaving. I mean, you know, some days I lift my stomach up and whack, tack, tack, but it's nothing sexy,

you know? My friends be like, I'm going to get me a landing strip. Bitch, you got planes in your pussy. Have you ever been waxed? No, I can't. I'm going to get me a landing strip. Bitch, you got planes in your pussy. Have you ever been waxed? No, I can't. I'm very, no, I don't want nobody down there in my vagina just yanking the hairs off of me. I just, I think that's very lazy, you know, that you can't shave your own vagina. But isn't it more efficient if you get a wax?

Doesn't it like take a little bit longer to grow back rather than shaving? Or the worst is you get it lasered. They zap it. They kill the follicles. But who don't? I'm 49. When it get cold and that air try to get between your legs,

that vagina hair block the air and it keep the click from freezing. Well, if you live in a cold climate, yes. Yeah, so I live in Indiana. So you can't just walk around no bald head vagina. You could be in the hospital. That's true. Yeah.

Or just wear pants. The air come through the pants. Like a lot of people. A lot of people out there with shaved pussies walking around in subarctic climates. I don't understand why you want all the hair off. It itch you mean when it's when it's grown back yeah i don't want that then you scratch it like you got crabs and you've had crabs no i haven't i felt very fortunate i knew a friend who had it he got it on his eyebrows on his eyebrows how did he crawl up there well they went everywhere but

on his eyebrows how'd he crawl up there well they went everywhere but he had them on his eyebrows I know somebody had them on their eyebrows too you do

yeah are you serious he was probably eating pussy and the crabs jumped to his eyebrows whatever hair they just find hair

yeah they lock up they're so small you can barely see them you'll know they there cause they itch like fleas yeah

wow yeah I know and so this dude had them and he had them in his eyebrows too that's wild see him you'll know they dare go they itch like fleas yeah yeah I know this dude had him and he had him in his eyebrows too and he's good and you know you get that shampoo for the eyebrows you get the shampoo for down there yeah I tell you what's the most embarrassing moment I won't say what I had to go pick up some crab medication for a relative one time I'm married at the time so it wasn't me and I go up to this I'll wasn't me. And I go up to this, I was at Green

Brown Mall and I go up to pick up the medication and the guy who was working the register little gay guy, this motherfucker was like, well what you have is crabs. Would you like for me to tell you how to use the medication?

I said, bitch, if you don't give me that package I'll kill you. He said it out loud. This was probably about 20 years ago. Right there. Do you need to know how to use your crab medication, ma'am? I said, that's not my name. That's not me. Give me that goddamn medication. It's shampoo, nigga. I know how

to use this shit. You know, this is Green Bride Mall. It's packed. Everybody's sitting there waiting on their medicine. I told everybody in that hall, like, I got crap. I'm like, I couldn't say it's not me this time.

Joe, I just took the medicine and went out the fucking door I said this motherfucker just embarrassed me he did it on purpose he did it on purpose for sure he probably did it for that

yeah for sure you should know yeah I was like what the fuck you got look because I was trying to get my hub

to go pick up the medication I'm not gonna do that I'm not gonna do that I'm not gonna pick up nobody ST I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to pick up nobody's STD medication. Venereal diseases are very strange if you think about it, because it had to be like an original source. Right. Like it's, how are they, you know, it's like respiratory viruses and flus and things like that. It kind of makes sense.

And a lot of them come from animals, right? Like the swine flu comes from pigs. Avian flu comes from birds. It gets into people. It jumps species and lands on people. And then we get it. It makes sense. But venereal disease, like what was the source?

Some woman was trying to keep her husband at home and cook that shit up in the kitchen. All right, you're going to go out here? You're going to put claps on this bitch. She's got a lab coat on trying to figure out vd but it's like what was the original like what came first the chicken or the egg right what was the original vd who was the first person who got it yeah and how does one develop a venereal disease right yeah what is where's it coming from is that it's a good question right yeah because there had to be like a patient zero for gonorrhea. There had to be like, where's that person getting gonorrhea?

How's that happen? They're probably having sex with monkeys or something. Maybe. Well, everything got to be a monkey. Y'all put everything on a monkey. God damn. What about a rhinoceros? That's the scapegoat.

The monkey's the scapegoat. Yeah, every time a disease comes, the monkey gave it to her. And what? People fuck giraffes, you know, too. Rhinoceros? Do they? Giraffes? Jesus Christ.

The pussy is too high. How are they going to get to it? You got to drug it. I'm just saying. I cannot. I'm just saying. Every time a disease comes, the monkey did it. The'm just saying. They're telling me to Z-Papa. The monkey did it.

The monkey did it. It's true, right? That was the thing with AIDS. They always said that. The monkey did it. Have you ever seen Chappelle's bit about that? I think I did. Oh, my God.

He's like, do you know how hard it would be to hold a monkey down and fuck it? You right. Oh, my God, Chappelle's bit on that is fucking brilliant. Oh yeah. It's so funny. She may look clean, but pick up good time girls, prostitutes, spread syphilis and gonorrhea. What is this from the 50s? Wow. It looks like the wartime.

You can't beat the axis if you get VD. Oh, wow. So that is World War II. Yeah, the first thing it said on Wikipedia is that 1494. Was the first VD? Yeah, syphilis outbreak in Europe. Oh, I can give you guys some information. How about this? You know that expression, big wigs,

when you call someone a big wig? Do you know what that came from? It came from a group that was in France, and a group there was a in in france and i think it was in the 1400s too there was uh a was it a prince or it was nobleman they there are two brothers and they got syphilis and when they got syphilis the hair started falling off everybody had syphilis back then they didn't know what the fuck syphilis was and when you get syphilis your hair falls. So what these guys did was they got wigs. And the more money you had, the bigger the wig you got.

And so they got these big fucking crazy wigs. And they would wear these wigs. With syphilis. Yeah, that's why they call them big wigs. Like, if you ever look at, like, men from these ancient times where they had these big crazy wigs, that's why they had those wigs. That's what that came from? It came from syphilis. They were all losing their hair.

Not only losing their hair, they lost their teeth. they'd get holes in their face wild shit that's probably why george washington had wooden teeth maybe yeah they didn't have any fucking hygiene back then too though but they they all wore those crazy wooden wigs and so if you see like like in the old days when i think they still have powdered wigs in some courts in England. So all those guys, all those guys with those wigs, that was all because of syphilis. Look at that thing on his cheek. That's a hole. It's a syphilis hole in his cheek.

So they would have literally their fucking skin would be rotting out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so these, see, like that was, there's all these that was uh like a guy who had syphilis on his head look at that like literally his fucking head is rotting he's got holes in his head what the fuck yeah the noses would fall off syphilis was wild and they didn't know what it was right so they had no idea what was happening while their fucking cheeks were falling off and you could look inside their face and see their teeth i wonder look at that lady her nose fell off what what what did the work

how did they name his syphilis was that from somebody it's a good question i don't know who are the brothers who are those brothers that article you just had had those guys no but it didn't say oh it didn't just talk about louis the't say? It just talked about Louis VI, XVII. Wow. It was so many of those people back then. They were wild people back then. Just fucking, there was no condoms, right? And they all would give each other diseases. And they didn't even know what it was.

They didn't even know what diseases. Like back then, if the plague came, they thought it was like ghosts and shit. They didn't know what the fuck was going on. They didn't know what was the cause of it because they hadn't really isolated bacteria and viruses. They didn't really know. So when they got syphilis, they had no idea what was happening to them. So these dudes got wigs. And the bigger the wig, the more rich you were because you could afford some crazy ass wig. So they were all going bald and all fucked up and going crazy.

Heads falling off. Yeah, hair falling off, everything. Big holes in your face. It's wild shit. Don't call me no big wig. Yeah, that's the origin of the term big wig. Wow. But if you still, I think in certain courts to this day in England,

they still wear those powdered wigs. Just for tradition. Yeah, and the tradition started because of syphilis. Wow. Wow. Wow. Now, don't think that's why i got on the weed okay that's not what i'm thinking okay i ain't got no holes in my head they just have penicillin they give you a shot of penicillin it goes away yeah i just got on that because i don't want to be fucking with my real hair because it draw up in the heat i ain't got hey my wig ain't

big i understand okay no worries hey don't get confused don't think all the black women's out here big wigs and it was white people back then look at all those people in france if only they had a bus to come pick them up and take them right to the syphilis center i wonder who was the first person to figure out how to fix that what's up this doesn't i looked up why they're still wearing it. This is the reason they say on how stuff works. Many uniforms, wigs are an emblem of anonymity, an attempt to distance the wearer from personal involvement

and a way to visually draw on the supremacy of law, says Newton. Wigs are so much a part of British criminal courts that if a banister does not wear a wig, it is seen as an insult to the court. Yeah, whatever. I guarantee you started out with syphilis. Why else would men wear wigs? So they just got these wigs

sitting by the courthouse door. You pick up one and put it on your head when you walk in? I think you probably have your own. You probably wear your own wig. You take it home? Yeah, you probably have your own. Like special wig that you wear when you go in? I think you probably have your own. You probably wear your own wig. You take it home? Yeah, you probably have your own, like, special wig that you wear when you go to court. And it's not like a lace fray. It's not, like, nice.

It looks like shit. It looks like they just plop it on. Yeah, like your regular hair sticking out underneath it. Yeah, it looks dumb. It's like a hat. Yeah. But England's got a lot of wacky things.

Like, they still have a queen over there for whatever reason. You know, I heard that, like, I heard somebody have a conversation. They were like, they feel like that a lot of British people people are unattractive and then they were saying that that's because way back in european history there were inbred like people used to inbreed for sure the royals that's why for sure yeah yeah there's a lot of images like paintings of royal families from france and and all over europe where you see the like eyes a little too

close together because they all fucked each other's cousins. Because you had to only use royal blood, right? Yeah, I had no idea. Yeah. So if you had a cousin, you had to fuck your cousin because you weren't allowed to fuck a commoner. It's wild shit. I think that wasn't that long ago if people did that. That they believed in royal blood.

See if you can find some pictures of royal blood. There's a lot of pictures like paintings of inbred royals. And they just look they just look off. I have a friend who has a she has a chocolate lab

and this dog's all fucked up. She got it from a puppy mill and this dog's eyes are just way too close. I was just talking to somebody the other day about cross-eyed dogs. This dog is not cross-eyed. They're just too narrow. Look at that guy. 100%.

Jesus Christ. People are like, who? Centuries of inbreeding among European royals caused the deformity known as hasberg jaw so they developed some crazy looking jaw and it's just from centuries of fucking your family wow wild wild look at that that is weird i would stop my cousin at a door like do you see what we look like do you really want to make a love you don't want to do this shit jesus christ i know i mean like how does that ever get filtered

out like you got to think like how much of that inbreeding shit like ruined generation after generation after generation look at him right there with the wig on. Yeah. Looking like Michael Jackson. Yeah, look at this. Hasburg jaw. Why inbred monarchs didn't measure up as rulers? Well, probably because they're mentally challenged, right? I mean, if it fucks your face up like that, what's it doing to your brain? I know some regular people who look like that now. Not that crazy.

I'm talking about the nose and how narrow the face is. Maybe, but I bet also they're probably being nice when they're painting this, too. They probably are. You're probably right. Because they would probably kill them if they made them look ugly. Right. If they made them look like what they really look like. You think they look worse?

I think they look worse. Yeah. Yeah, because they're royals. Probably. So where are they now? They probably don't even know what they look like. Well, they died off, I'm sure. Those jeans have died off, for sure.

I know some long-chinned bitches like that. I don't know what you're talking about. That shit ain't dead. Well, there's long faces, but that's a particularly deformed face. The whole idea of royals is crazy shit. But what's really crazy is that I had this lady on recently, last week actually, who escaped North Korea. And it is a fucking wild podcast. She escaped North Korea when she was 13.

She was a sex slave in China. And then she escaped from China and made it to South Korea and then made it to America. And it's a crazy fucking podcast. But this is what's crazy is like there are royals right now. There's dictators right now in certain parts of the world. And that that's happening right now in North Korea. But that was like how people lived throughout most of history. Most like most countries were dictatorships.

Even like when people talk about Greece. Greece was a democracy, sure, for a little while, then eventually became a dictatorship. And even when it was a democracy, they had slaves, they killed each other for random fucking reasons. The Romans did the same shit and that eventually became a dictatorship as well. Like every fucking civilization up until the United States in 1776 had devolved into a dictatorship. That's why people are so worried about this country and the direction it's going. Because they're like, look, this could become a dictatorship too. Yeah.

That's why they're scared of masks and fighting on planes. People are just worked up. The scared of masks and fighting on planes? People are just worked up. The scared of masks and fighting on planes things like that. The country is just so many people have been out of work for like over a year or lost their jobs or lost family members or also just scared.

So many people are just scared. And they get back outside and they don't know how to fucking act. I got to tell you this. We was at I was in Miami. You didn't go to Miami. No. So I'm in Miami. And I'm just, you know, because I flew during the pandemic and worked a lot.

And so I'm at the Miami airport and starting to open, shit starting to open back up. And I see this man. I was like, I just want to tell you hello. And he looked at me and he was like, I said, you don't know me. I said i said look i'm so happy this fucking pandemic is ending i don't know what to do i just want to hug every fucking body and this white dude said right on to your tribe sister i say tribe i can't even fucking call them racist i'm so happy florida's a different race in and of itself what the fuck make you think

I'm from a tribe sir why don't you tribe me and my me and my friend Quisha was out there I said he just thought I had a tribe

he said we with your tribe I said alrighty you know he didn't talk about it he be like you racist son of a bitch

but I'm so happy to see people i said fuck it i'm gonna go and get my runner call i couldn't say anything florida opened up earlier than any place right yeah did they ever close sort of for like a little while and then the governor got on tv and made some actual valid points that you should be able to take your own risks and we should protect the older people the people that are the most at risk and you know and vaccinate them as quickly as we can and before that protect them from exposure and everybody else just do whatever the fuck you want to do he believes in freedom it's weird watching so many people move to florida like florida was always a fucked up place that no one wanted to live like unless you were running from somebody that you

like got divorced from in new york nobody wanted to live in florida i don't want to live. Like, unless you were running from somebody that you, like, got divorced from in New York, nobody wanted to live in Florida. I don't want to live in Florida. I just like Disney. Disney's awesome. Florida's not a bad place to live, though. It's too fucking hot. It gets hot.

And they alligator walk around like motherfucking drug dealers. That's an issue. I can't fucking alligator. Alligator killed a baby at Disney World. Yeah. Oh, yeah, in the pond. I remember that.

Yeah, we was not far from that resort. But it was kind of, it's just me, alligators and those little, what's those little damn? Iguanas. They just walk up the wall. Ain't nobody screaming. They're not even little. They're big. They get to be like five feet long.

Really? Yeah, they hunt them now. There's all these videos on YouTube of people hunting iguanas and eating them, cooking them and eating them. Oh, my God. I was like, I can deal with roaches, but I can't deal with no fucking iguanas. Iguanas. Worse than this. When it gets cold out, they freeze because they're a tropical animal.

And sometimes Florida gets 30 degrees. So when it gets 30 degrees, they die. So they're hanging on trees. They die. And they knock people out because they fall frozen and land on people's heads. So these old people are walking around Florida and a fucking falling iguana cracks them on the top of the head. I like how you imitate shit. That family need old people.

You imagine that's how you go. I've had a nice life. You get KO'd by a fucking iguana. That's what takes you out. Wow. Yeah. Before COVID. And the iguanas, just like the reptiles that they have, all the shit that's in the swamps,

like all the pythons and everything, it's all just people's pets. That's Florida people. They're so wild. They just had like pythons and shit and they're like, oh, throw it in the fucking swamp. No one will know. Meanwhile, now there's more pythons in the swamp than anything. They've killed all the mammals. There's like almost no mammals in the Everglades.

They killed all the raccoons, all the marsh hares, all the deer. They did a survey recently of the Everglades where they were trying to find all these various mammals. And they said that they've been decimated down by a minimum of 90 so 90 of i think that was the number see if you can find that like what percentage of mammals are missing in the everglades because of the pythons it's gotten so bad that pythons are eating alligators what there's a fucking picture of a giant python that's trying to eat a 12-foot alligator. I think I've seen that. So the alligator is breaking out of its body because it's swallowing this thing whole.

And this alligator is like, fuck you. Do it again, do it again. Fuck you. See, alligators can hold their breath for fucking days. They could be underwater for hours. And so the alligator just walked up out his ass. Well, he's fighting through, and he burst through the thing's side, so they're both dead. They're both dead trapped in this water.

Here, look at this. Yeah, 99. Okay, I downplayed it. The PNS Journal scientists report that observations of some mammal species have declined by more than 99%. So a lot of them are just completely gone. Look at how big that python is. And all of those things started out as someone's pets. It's really wild.

There's so many of them. And here's how fucking stupid California is. You're not allowed to buy python goods, like a python purse or python shoes. It's illegal. They're exotics. We're protecting them. Meanwhile, they're everywhere.

They're all freaking go to Florida. And they're eating babies and all kind of shit. Oh, pythons will eat everything. Yeah, they'll eat everything they can. They'll eat babies for sure. But see if you can get that picture of the one that ate the alligator because it's crazy when you see how big the alligator is and how big the python is. And they just both died.

Yeah, it's a battle of the monsters. Battle of the monsters. Heartless, cold-blooded fucking monsters. I can't watch Discover Channel. Oh, I watch it all the time. Yeah, it's a battle of the monsters. Wow. Battle of the monsters. Heartless, cold-blooded fucking monsters. I can't watch Discovery Channel. Oh, I watch it all the time. Oh, my God. It makes me cry. When I see an alligator just grab a baby deer, I'll be like, don't eat him.

It hurts my feelings. They're ruthless animals. All of them. Them fucking coyotes. Look at that. So that's a little one. That's no big deal. That's small.

But there's a photo of a, see, Google photo alligator. There it is. That's the one, the one in the right-hand corner. Jesus fucking Christ. That one right there. See that one? See how it's bursting out of its side? Right.

Yeah, so that is a python that died trying to eat an alligator. And the alligator, like, fought its way through the python's body. Did he get out? Nope, didn't make it. Died. They both died. So they found these two dead like this but look how big that python is crazy wow in the everglades that's crazy the everglades is just monster soup that's all it

is this is monster soup out there who go there? Crazy white people with those fan boats. Yeah, they got a show like that, don't they? Oh, yeah, yeah,

swamp people. Yeah, swamp people. That's a great show. My husband love watching that bullshit. I'm like, I don't see how you can,

first of all, I got, I speak Ebonics. You can hardly understand the fuck I'm saying. Then you get them swamp people like, what the fuck are they saying?

Those Louisiana people that live in the swamp and hunt alligators? Yeah. They have a whole, that Cajun sort of lingo. I'm not going to eat no alligator dick. I don't understand a fucking word they say. They have to give them subtitles. Yeah.

You wouldn't eat alligator? Dick. Dick. Okay, I understand that. You wouldn't eat alligator. No, I wouldn't eat no alligator either. I'd eat alligator. I don't eat no frog.

I've had alligator at a restaurant before In Florida but it was like frozen alligator You know it's like if you eat it like Chilies It's like that caliber of food But apparently everybody that I know That has actually hunted alligators I know a lot of dudes that hunt alligators And when you eat it if you eat it fresh it is delicious

Alligators apparently taste very good Yeah there's all videos on YouTube On how to butcher alligators apparently taste very good Yeah there's all videos on YouTube On how to butcher alligators And they show them Like taking it apart And what the best cuts of meat are So we had alligator at the grove one time And that little place

And it was fried It was fried It was chewy You didn't like it It was chewy The grove in LA? Yeah They got a Cajun spot in there

And they had like this It was chewy I didn't like it See the thing is If you're gonna get it from the gro in LA, you're going to get it frozen. Apparently, the way to get it is fresh. So it's like, you know, like you buy fish at the supermarket, you're getting fresh fish, right? Right.

Especially if you're near the coast. Well, if you buy alligator in Florida, if you get fresh alligator, or if you hunt alligator yourself, apparently it's delicious. Really? Yeah. Nah. Nah. I can't. Nah. Nah. I can't. But you like catfish?

Catfish is delicious. I don't like catfish. You don't? Really? Really? But if it's battered right and fried nice? No. No?

They eat everything. They do eat everything, but so do lobsters, and they're delicious. Yeah. I like lobsters. Lobsters just eat dead shit. They're bugs. They're just bugs that eat dead shit. But God, they're good. Yeah. Lobsters just eat dead shit. They're bugs. They're just bugs that eat dead shit.

But God, they're good. They're so good. Cafe's so, it's grainy to me. Really? Grainy? I mean, I don't know if grainy is the word. It's got a grittiness to it, taste to it. Maybe it's just how it's prepared.

Maybe who's preparing it. Maybe they didn't do a good job. You going to talk about me like that? No, it's like how you prepare it did you catch it yourself no okay but if you catch yourself then you know like how it was cleaned and you know how you gutted it and cut it and you know a lot of times people will soak them in milk that's one of the things they do with catfish apparently it enhances the flavor for how long long? I don't know. Different times, you know. There's all sorts of recipes online.

I've seen people doing that. I've never heard of that. I'm going to do that. Yeah, because where I live now in Austin, there's quite a few catfish here. I would like to catch some and eat them. Well, call me next time you cook. I will.

I will. I love watching your videos. I love to cook. I'm like, this motherfucker has the nicest meat. That's that dark red elk.'s what that is that's that that's that you like the grill don't you i love it it's caveman yeah i like being over fire fire and meat that's caveman yeah remember that time i told you to take me hunting with you you thought i was too slow i get killed by you have to have a scooter i can't take a scooter in the woods you'll scare all the animals off I'll be like

get the fuck off Joe got a pistol Joe here to kill y'all get the fuck off don't you stand around he trying to kill y'all would you really want to hunt? I've never been to the woods

I went to a summer camp one time and we stayed in those little things that didn't have doors on it. It just had a top on it, and it was deep down in Georgia. Muskeet just ate my ass up. Oh, yeah. I was like, I don't understand why people, what do they get off in these fucking woods? All these fucking spiders that you're not familiar with, just outdoory. I don't know.

I just like being in the wild if you wouldn't let me get killed i will go halfway in the woods with you the problem is like you gotta go pretty deep in there to go where the animals are like on a normal day of like hunting we'll hike 10 11 miles in the mountains yeah it's normal and so what do you do when a bear come up joe well it's not good it's not good most of the places i hunt don't have grizzlies if i did hunt a place with grizzlies i would definitely usually because i hunt with a bow but i would definitely bring a pistol as well if i'm around grizzlies yeah because i'm like then you see the bear man he got ate up his girlfriend grizzly man. Did you watch that documentary?

Yeah. My husband watched that mess. That's an unintentional comedy. That's what that is. All they found was his spine. They didn't find much. Yeah. They didn't find much.

I didn't even know bears eat you all the way. Oh, bears will eat the fuck out of you. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Bears eat people. For sure. Can you see me talking to that bear?

Hey, bear, I ain't taking baths today. This ain't what you want. They don't give a fuck. Bear just killed a lady in Montana just just a few days ago yeah a lady was a cyclist she had parked somewhere to camp out and pulled her right out of her tent pulled her out of the tent yeah tore the tent apart pulled her out killed her she didn't have no fucking gun no she was like i'm just like out here in nature. She's like a cyclist. You know, a lot of those people are, those cyclists are, you know, they just love hiking

and, you know, outdoors type shit. And they probably think they're going to be okay. Because most of the time you're okay. Did he eat her? It's very rare. It started eating her. Yeah. Somebody ran him off?

I think they eventually found it and killed it. Yeah. How do you know that was the bear? How do you know he ain't going to kill the wrong bear? You didn't get a bear time to say he ain't having nothing to do with it? Well, once they kill the bear, then they can do an assessment. But what if a titty went in his throat? The way they find out is the bear usually is protecting the body because the body's his.

Really? Yeah. So if a bear kills you, they usually bury you. They bury half of you. They eat what they want to eat off of you and then they start covering you with dirt. And then if you go near the body,

then they rush you. And I think that's what they did with her. I think they tried to come near the body and the bear was protecting the body, which meant that it was like, it was his kill. Oh, like that's something I know a guy who was a wildlife photographer. I read him.

I didn't know about him. I read about a guy who was a wildlife photographer and he was killed by a bear. I think that was in Montana as well pretty recently because he had found a dead moose that this bear had killed and he was trying to get close to where the moose was to take photos of the bear and then the bear thought he was trying to steal the moose and killed him so now them both of them bear together and they protect them both for him so he gonna eat him later well this guy was like famous for wildlife photography unfortunately so he'd take these like

really close-up pictures of bears and he just rolled the dice too many times. Because they're just, you know, they're a 2,000-pound wild dog. That's what it's like. I mean, they're fucking huge. They're so big. And the make-yourself-bigger shit don't work. To a grizzly?

To a grizzly? No, you gotta shoot them. What do you mean, make-yourself-bigger? They always say, like, if you come across a bear, make bigger i think that's mountain lions they say that's the line so how you gonna make yourself bigger there's not a way you can make yourself big enough to scare a bear i know they tall they slap shit at you the only time bears are scared is if they live in a place where people hunt them and that's like alaska in alaska sometimes bears will run off from people because they've had experiences with people or they've seen people shoot guns and kill bears near them they'll be scared of humans but everywhere else

where people don't hunt humans which is most of the United States the only place in the United States you can hunt grizzly bears is in Alaska and you know but those are the people that have the most experience with them because they they're dealing with them all the time. They want to cut the population down, but places like Yellowstone and where all the grizzlies are and Montana and Wyoming, you can't hunt them. Some lady just got in trouble for taking a picture at Yellowstone

close up with the bear. So stupid. Yeah, and he ran her off to the bear. I think his kids was up there and he kind of chased her. And she walked off and she got in trouble for that. Well, it definitely wasn't his kids because he'll eat his kids. It's a female. The females run him off. Well, her. I call

everybody his. Because the females, they have to protect their kids from the males. Because the males, they actively target babies. Like when they come out of the womb or the den rather, like when they hibernate all winter, one of the first things they try to do is find babies. They're sleeping. Even if it's theirs.

They don't give a fuck. That's how much they don't want to pay child support? That's how you get out of child support. You eat your fucking babies. Nature's just so ruthless oh i know that's why i don't go out there joe if you're gonna go halfway in the woods and we're gonna set up a campfire with some marshmallows and a little chocolate that's nice i do that with you flat off the mosquitoes and tell some spooky stories yeah i could do that shit but if you're going with a pilster and a bow and arrow i ain't gonna be able to help you yeah well it's not for everybody no you sleep out there too sometimes yeah it depends

on where you're going yeah i don't like camping though i really don't i don't like sleeping on the ground i would way rather like go back out and go somewhere where you could sleep but i'll do it you. I do like being there. And sometimes if you've got to camp, if that's the only way you can go. Some people love camping. My friend Steve, he loves camping. I got evicted too much when I was a kid. It triggered home.

It's not a good way to sleep. You're way better off in a house. Houses are protected. A house and animals are not going to come in and eat you. No, I just can't sleep outside. Yeah, it's an acquired taste. But for some people, some people just love being rugged

too. They like the idea of being rugged. They like the idea of cooking their food over a campfire, sleeping in a tent. Taking a bath halfway. In a stream. Yeah, wash themselves in a cold stream. That's people who got money. Yes, exactly. Is that who do that?

Yes, exactly, right? Because broke people already do that. Why would we do that? Right. I guess that's why I don't like it, Joe. Well, some people do it that don't have money because they just want the food. And the best way to get wild food is you got to hunt. And if you're going to hunt, you got to go where the animals are.

And they're usually not where the people are so you got to get in there pretty far no it's like that island what is that island though indigenous North Sentinel Island well you what a good going at it drag your ass they kill your ass that guy would have been trying to bring Jesus to say come on we got the Lord for your ass. They shot that born arrow and drug that motherfucker off and peeled him. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, they killed that dude. Killed him with a Bible in his hand.

Killed him with a Bible in his hand. They did. He's like, thank you for the word. We're going to use it to start a fire. He didn't. He wasn't supposed to go there either. It's illegal to visit them, which is kind of strange because you're not allowed to. It's like the visit them, which is kind of strange because you're not allowed to. It's like the idea is that they are uncontacted, so you're not allowed to contact them.

But they're never going to. There's only like 39 of them. Where is that at? It's off the coast of India. So these people that live there, they're the direct descendants of people who left Africa 60,000 years ago, and they landed on this island. And a very small population. They think that most it's ever been is like 150 people. And so out of these people, there's 39 of them left.

And they probably have an inbreeding problem too. I'm quite sure they do. They're not really studied. But there was a guy that, there was a really fucked up story where a guy visited them in the 1800s. His name was Commander Maurice Vidal Portman. And this guy was like a pervert. And he would go there and take pictures with these men and have them dressed up weird,

like dressed up like Roman soldiers and take pictures with them and shit. And it was like he was doing weird freak shit, like measuring their dicks and measuring their balls and take a deep, like literally said, this one had testicles the size of a sparrow's egg like this was like one of his notes so he was a freak we gave these guys a disease gave people a disease like he was probably like probably had some normal human disease for europeans and gave it to these people and a few people died and they chased him off the island so these people when this guy went back with the, one of the reasons why they're so hostile is probably they have terrible stories of being visited in the past by people who took pictures of their dicks and gave them diseases. Can you imagine if people did that to all colonizers?

Yeah, so that's the guy. That's Commander Maurice Vidal Portman. Wow. Yeah, and so he did, and there was quite a few different islands that he did this to. Yeah, that's the Andamanese. So he was did, and there was quite a few different islands that he did this to. Yeah, that's the Andamanese. So he was with these people. And so those occasionally people would go and fuck with these indigenous people. And if they hadn't, maybe someone could go there and bring them food and bring them medicine and, you know, treat them respectfully today and maybe help them in some sort of way

but then the question is should they do that because if they did that and then they took them out of there that culture would not exist anymore right but then the question is but yeah they don't even have fire like these people are living on this very small island it's a fucked up little place they they i don't know what food they're eating but they're getting it from the ocean or they're getting it for them whatever animals live on that island with them but like the thing about this is the thing about colonization is like that's like how like fire and every in medicine and everything that we have is normal to us that's normal to them right we don't need to go fuck with it the question is like should you give them the, first of all, colonizing them, like, taking over their land, yeah, clearly that's fucked up and that shouldn't happen.

But should someone allow them to move off the island and come to civilization? Like, if you could speak their language and you could say, hey, man, we have electricity, we have air conditioning, refrigerators, restaurants. Can you imagine taking someone from an island where they've been hunting turtles their whole life or whatever the fuck they eat, and then bringing them to a nice restaurant, freaking them out? I don't know what the answer to that is. I don't know if you should or shouldn't do that.

I think you should mind your fucking business. Because if they wanted to get off that island... No, no, no, they can't. They can't get off that island. They've tried. They don't have the ability to make a boat that can survive the journey. Because they, you're on an island that doesn't, they don't

have metal. Like, they don't have. Well, I'm saying if they wanted to get on that island, so many people have tried. You know, like, the ones who tried to visit, they'd be like, hey, we're waiting on you. We're gonna kill you and take your boat and get the fuck up out of here. But instead they keep dragging in wood and skinning you, so. Well, they've killed people before that fucked up besides that guy. There was a ship that shipwrecked close to the shore and they they killed those guys

and then they think they might have salvaged some metal from that ship because they think they've seen them with like makeshift knives they've created from some of the metal from the ship it's a it's a crazy story so what they do, just have somebody watching them all the time? They just have rules where you can't go there. I think whether it's India or whatever country is in control of that island, they just have some very strict laws about interacting with them. But it is fascinating because these people essentially lived like people lived 60,000 years ago. Right.

Because they're not sure if they have fire. They probably are. They're worried, though. They're worried because there's so few of them because of inbreeding. They're worried that they're inbreeding because this is such a small genetic population. You know, they have 39 people. Right. It's not a lot.

So they're worried about molestation? No, they're worried that they're inbreeding with each other, that the genetic diversity is not enough to sustain a healthy population. Well, mind your business. That's Ms. Pat's answer to everything. Mind your fucking business. It's 39 of them. I mean, when they eventually die off, they just want the island.

I guarantee you they want to put a hotel on the island. There's nothing on the island. Not yet. Maybe. Not yet. Imagine how fucked up that to put a hotel on the island. There's nothing on the island. Not yet. Maybe. Right. Imagine if they did. Imagine how fucked up that would be. Yeah, I mean. People working there at the hotel that used to live on the island

and now they work there. Yeah, so they just want what they can't have. Leave them people the fuck alone. Mind your business and you don't get killed. Yeah, but if the person could figure out a way to make a boat, maybe we should just drop off some boats. just drop off some boats just drop off some boats whatever you want to do them folks got knives that travels faster than bullets

they have a lot of bows and arrows yeah i'm not with them they folks right what they want i mind my business if they want to get off their island they be don't swim the up that eye now i ain't with nobody that ain't with me okay that's what white people problem stop with people white people yeah man them people they wreck where they want to be at if they want to their uncles and cousins aunties if they're going to make the family bigger hey they ain't got no laws ain't no police on that island do your thing that's true too and that's one of the things when they killed that guy that came with the bible there was was some question, like, should they be in trouble for murder? No, he went for us.

Hey, he knocked on their door. Exactly. And also, like, their roles are different than ours. Well, take your badass on in the woods. And if we're going to do that, then we would go and prosecute North Korea for killing their people, too. And we don't do shit about that. But also, then whenever somebody gets eaten by a shark, you can't go kill the shark because you was in their house.

That's why you got eaten, because you were in their house. No, that's where I disagree. I'll kill the gets eaten by a shark, you can't go kill the shark because you was in their house. That's why you got eaten because you were in their house. That's where I disagree. I'll kill the fuck out of a shark. But you're in their territory. Yeah, but we win. We're people. So what the fuck are them people in the bushes? If a shark kills one of my friends and I know where that shark is, like if it's got a beacon or something, I'm going to go kill that fucking shark 100%.

Yeah. I'm getting it. But don't you think that that's their territory? I'm going to eat it too. So if you rolled your ass up near them folks islands. No, but that's a different animal. Okay, all right. That's like someone's house.

Yeah, but that's what I'm saying with the shark. Or the Amazon. No, fuck sharks. That ain't going to fit, Joe. That's their territory. If somebody comes into your territory. Not anymore. I just showed up.

I showed up with a gun. Now it's mine. So what you saying, if a motherfucker jet skiing is okay for the shark to just yank his ass off the jet ski? You in they house.

I'm not saying it's okay for them to eat it. I'm saying it makes sense that they would feel threatened or they would eat you because why are you here? Let me just explain. Let me explain something to you.

Sharks do not ever feel threatened. The ocean is way bigger than that island. And if you see a motherfucker out here playing in your yard, just go on over there. You got plenty more room to go fuck around in. The ocean is big. than that island. And if you see a motherfucker out here playing in your yard, just go on over there. You got plenty more room to go fuck around in. The ocean is big.

That's a good point. Like, the island is theirs. I see that. I see that. But I just think it's territory. Like, don't go into their territory if you don't want to be eaten. Joe Rogan, he's black and scared of water. That's why he talking that shit.

But if you saw someone kill one of your friends, if you saw a shark kill one of your friends, you wouldn't want to kill that shark? Hell, yeah, I wouldn't want to kill it. That's what I'm saying. But I'm saying I can't blame it. Oh, excuse me. I'm saying I can't blame it. I would kill it.

It's not a person, so you can't blame it. They kill everything they can. If I saw a shark kill one of my friends, I'm getting the fuck out. Somebody needs to be able to tell this motherfucker's story. Ain't no saying I'm not walking out there whooping that shark ass that mother fucker faster than me you know I just had a scooter at Disney I'm gonna do the most niggery shit

I'm getting the fuck out I'm gonna walk on water like Jesus Christ hey they got him I was blessed they developed these suits for people to wear around bears You hear me? Yeah. Hey, they got him. I was blessed. They developed these suits for people to wear around bears. These bear suits.

They're like these big metal suits with spikes popping out of them. Have you ever seen any of that? Mm-mm. See if we can find those. What's that for? They're bear-proof suits. They've developed these. Yeah, well, I think they started out in Siberia.

I think Kanye was wearing. Ah! It does. Look, that's it. they've developed, I think they started out in Siberia. I think what Kanye was wearing. It does. Look, that's it. It's selling for $2,500. That's a Siberian bear hunting suit. No. So they literally developed a suit that's covered in spikes so that if the bear tries to bite you, it hurts his teeth. Wow. Or it hurts his mouth.

I mean, you're going to have to ask that dude. But since we have his jacket, I doubt he's alive. You know? I guarantee. That's a good point. That's a good point. You probably peeled him like an avocado. gonna have to ask that dude but since we have his jacket i doubt he's alive you know i guess that's a good point you probably peeled him like an avocado i guarantee you that's gonna be that's gonna be a yeezy outfit in six months it was literally i wasn't joking when i said i look at his jacket oh it's the thing you just did that's hilarious oh this was he when he was on stage with the mask on yeah no he had a stock No, he had a stocking cap. He had a stocking cap on his face.

That is what he's wearing. He's wearing a bear hunting jacket. Wow. That is crazy. And that jacket probably cost $3,000. Yep. $30,000. Yep.

That is wild. What's so crazy is they're going to buy it too, Joe. Of course they will. And they're going to buy that. I keep telling black people, I say Kanye is rich. He's a fucking genius. Y'all can't walk around the United States being black with that shit on your head. It looks like you about to rob the gas station.

If Kanye had food stamps, black people would buy it for $3,000 a pop. Not me. Kanye's an unusual human. Have you ever met him? No. His brain is firing at a different rpm than everybody else's it's just going it's just going like he's probably simultaneously thinking about new products while he's thinking about new songs while he's thinking about he wants to reimagine housing he wants to

build houses he wants to like develop like communities that are self-reliant communities where they grow their own food and use solar power. And the dude is just constantly going with new ideas, constantly. He's like, you know, there's people whose brains just don't work at the same speed as ours. And that's one of those people. And he's just constantly trying to process things. And he was saying that when they tried to get him on medication, they were like, listen, you've got to get on medication're they tried to calm him down but the medication made him he he started getting lethargic yeah he got gained a lot of weight he looked different he

looked slow he looked unhappy exactly and you know like he i mean he's just he it was a droopiness to his face and i remember the black community like, what the fuck is Kanye on? Yeah. They put him on some medication. But then when he got off of it, he came alive. I don't know why he put the stocking cap on his head. But I guarantee you, you're going to have yeez across the top and you're going to see a whole bunch of people with ski masks on. And there's going to be a lot of niggas in jail.

Well, in this day and age where everybody has to wear a mask, that's the solution in his mind. That ain't the solution for us, Joe. Okay. Did you see Kim was wearing one, too? She was? Yeah, she wore one, too. She wore the whole deal. Her kids are like, what the fuck are you wearing, Mommy?

What is this? You don't pay $3 for your makeup, and now you got on a ski cap. I wonder how many people are going to wear those bear hunting suits around now. Not me. People are going to buy them. Oh yeah. They're going to buy them. If he makes them, they'll buy them. Well, when you like an artist, you buy them. Look, I'm not even Beyonce size, but I find myself waiting

on the Ivy Park shoes. I can't wear shit but Beyonce shoes she drop. But I find myself waiting on Ivy Park to drop some shit. You hear me? I have four phones and a laptop going. I got gotta get me a pair of ivy park shoes when kanye came on the podcast before he came on there was one point in time where he wanted to redesign my studio he's like i want to redesign a studio i want to do it

somewhere else we're going to redesign i was like okay but then uh jamie got covet jamie was not there for the kanye interview unfortunately so he uh had, look, man, we just lost our producer. We got to do it in our studio. So he did it in here, in our old studio. But he did not like it. He did not like the aesthetics of the old studio. Like his mind was always thinking about design. And when he told me this, I was like, okay.

And so then all of a sudden we're on FaceTime. He starts showing me sketches that he already has of the new studio that he wants to design He's making a studio like a womb like this big crazy studio here This is what these wild ideas like his brain is on it's like he's on jet fuel just constantly going But that's why he can do all the shit that he does. It's not a normal mind He had to listen his party. Did he drop the album yet? I don't think so. And still ain't dropped the album.

And people, well, what the fuck, it's like crack to him now. Yeah, but that's what he does. He gets everybody excited about things. He's a fucking genius. Yeah.

He really is. Well, we're not gonna drop this. I should take the show back. After this podcast, everybody's gonna be so hyped up for your show. Yeah. Miss Pat's decided to hang on to it for a while, and now she has a bear hunting suit.

And don't forget the face mask. And a scooter. Face mask, bear hunting suit, and a scooter just driving around Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills? I live in Indiana. I know. I'm just saying. Are you going to stay in Indiana?

What if you become a gigantic star and the show becomes huge? You've got to move out of Indiana. Oh, yeah. Because they'll bother you there. They'll bother you anywhere, Joe. Yeah, but are they going to bother you there? Do I get peace? Yeah.

Yeah. I say, get the fuck out of my face. And I mean it. And I love my fans. I mean, God, I do. These people, some of them have been rocking me from the start. And they're like, I've run into people, can I take a picture? I said, let me talk to you for a minute.

Hey, y'all, no makeup. My wig ain't glued down. Hey, watch my ass. I said, but what we're going to do is I'm going to send you a gift or some shit. But you ain't going to put, I said, thank God for Snapchat. So I said, give me your motherfucking phone. You got Snapchat? They said, no.

I said, I'm going to do it on mine, mine and i'm gonna airdrop you the picture so snapchat allow you to put on makeup even though you don't have on makeup that's hilarious you're not gonna take a fucking picture because they already be i already be doing my podcast with no bro you don't see me i'm a podcast i'll be down there fucking in my sitting in my basement looking like i'm the only motherfucker with a podcast without a professional studio where are you doing your podcast out of just your basement out of my basement yeah who are you doing it with uh Dion Curry a comedian and Chris Spangles and how many of you how many do you have out oh probably we got about 200 or 100 and something I don't know it's going good it's going really good thank you for making me start it's going good? It's going really good. Thank you for making me start it. It's going really fucking good.

I didn't think I liked to talk that much. What? Did you talk to somebody about whether or not you liked to talk? Because everybody would have said yes. I actually like it, and the fans love it. Of course they do. I enjoy it. It's a breath.

It relieves me every week. You have a take on everything. You have a take on everything. Everything and anything you have a take on everything you have a take on everything everything and anything you have a take on for you to not have a podcast would be criminal yeah so i started it to pat down with me chris and dion and it's going really well the pat down it's great yeah because i'm a convicted felon i used to get pat down and your name is pat and my name is pat so as we but it's going great beautiful and I'm enjoying it I really am I'm looking to move to Atlanta

ah there you go yeah I just put a I just bought I just put a bid in for a house there it's on 7 acres beautiful how far away from where the clubs are what clubs are in Atlanta now

where can you work out Punchline Atlanta Comedy Theater Punchline's back Punchline is back How far away from where the clubs are? What clubs are in Atlanta now? Where can you work out? Punchline, Atlanta Comedy Theater. Punchline's back? Mm-hmm, Punchline is back. When did it come back? A while. Oh, I didn't know. Yeah, Atlanta Comedy Theater.

Laughing Skull's a little spot. Laughing Skull's. That's a good spot. I like that little spot. I go there all the time. I love the Laughing Skull. That's a great little spot, like 90 seats or some shit. Yeah, I go there a lot when I'm in town but it's not far it's

just right i'm just right outside the perimeter my husband don't like to be close to the neighbors so he's just like the you know it sounds like my kind of guy yeah he don't he don't like a lot of people give me some space yeah i just took him you know he only seen me twice since i've been doing this shit that's hilarious he saw me with kat with Cat Williams, and then he saw me in Indiana, and he was like, so this is what you do. That is hilarious. I would want to say my husband is shy

when you say that, and he was like, you don't give a fuck what you say to these people. He said, the shit you say to these people, and my audience is mostly white people. And they just eat it up.

I'm like, well, I'm just being honest. I'm being me. I'm not up here trying to be nothing else. And they know who the fuck I am. If you know who the fuck Miss Pat is, because I tell this joke. I tell this story about my special, my Uncle Cecil. If people read my book, they know what I'm talking about. Well, my granddaddy, he was special need.

He used to buy him pussy on Saturday to slow down his seizures during the week. I'm not fucking lying. But me and my sister had to go back there and help him get started. Because he was special need. And I tell this story on stage and people,

last week when I was in Indiana, this girl was like, is she for real? And other white ladies said, hell yeah, she's for real. Be quiet. How did your husband not know you, though? Why is that shocking to him? Because he never really saw me, like, headline. He only saw me one time over in front

of Cat Williams. He just don't, he won't come. So everything's starting to take off and, you know. So he was curious? No, I just said, hey, dude, come on and watch what i do and and he's like y'all stay up too late y'all stay up too late and he's like uh uh you funny he's like you're pretty funny but you're a little mean up there sometimes like what the fuck i ain't because you know when i'm telling these stories i'm like oh i don't want to hear i'm not here for

your fucking o's and ahs. Okay? And I tell them, I say, if you're feeling sorry for me, write me a check. We can cry together. I don't want, I'm not here for you to feel sorry for me. You know, because I push it. I mean, I write, I talk about being molested. I talk about having kids, you know, anything.

I take the darkest shit in my life, and I tell them each and every night. When I end my set, I say, I want you to take the darkest shit in your life and find the funny. Because when you can find the funny, you got control of it. Why dwell on shit you can't change? Motherfucker, you can't change the past. I said, I don't give a fuck if somebody stuck their thumb up your ass. If he didn't get past the knuckle,

he cheated himself. Oh, Jesus Christ. But that's what I say on stage. And I want people to, my whole thing is I just want people to learn to take whatever is causing you pain and laugh. Absolutely. Because it's healing. It really is healing.

I could be dwelling on I grew up with a fucked up mama, the way I grew up and all the stuff that happened to me, but I choose to laugh at it. And I want other people. It worked for me, and I know it'll work for other people and that's why they should watch your show because that's what you did you really you both figured out a way to do that you really did you figured out a way to take you and put it in a sitcom and not have it some say sometimes when they do that it's just it's clunky yeah your shit's not

clunky at all no you. You guys did it. I can't wait to watch all of them. I'm excited. Oh, shit. Joe Rogan, you coming over to BET Plus? I'm getting BET Plus. I heard it's only $10 a month. Shit.

Joe Rogan is getting BET Plus. I will definitely get it to watch your show. Yes. And do like my husband do. When he wanted to see Power, he got stalled. When it went off He cut it off That might be the blackest shit

You ever do, Joe I only have to watch 12 episodes Until they get picked up Yeah So when will you find out? They said a few weeks? Probably a couple weeks After it airs

Hopefully it comes out the gate Running like a fucking racehorse Well, we are going to do our best To get it out there As fast as possible And get everybody excited about it. It's funny. Now, you know if Joe Rogan can come over to BET Plus, everybody can come over. I think it can transcend.

I really do. I think it's that good. I think it's that good. It's very funny. And it premieres August 12th, BET Plus. Go get it, ladies and gentlemen. It's only $10, you cheap fucks. You got money.

Come on. Thank you Yeah Skip the vitamins And get BT Plus Take vitamins too Skip other things Oh yeah other shit Thank you Miss Pat

Thank you Jordan I love you Congratulations You guys nailed it Beautiful Bye everybody Thank you.