The Joe Rogan Experience - #1707 - Kyle Dunnigan & Kurt Metzger

Episode Date: September 15, 2021

Kyle Dunnigan and Kurt Metzger are standup comedians, actors, and the creators of "Fresh Prez of DC," a satirical comedy series on YouTube. They are also podcasters. Dunnigan is the host of "The Kyle Dunnigan Show" and Metzger is the host of "Can't Get Right with Kurt Metzger."

the Joe Rogan experience this is all on the record so I'm terrible in that position like I have to be really some people instinctively are like we just don't talk about that know how to do that I don't have no I can't yeah I know you don't that's what i love about you yeah that is good he says things that people are like oh my god they said something a comedian i won't say but like uh oh my god yeah but it was good advice he gave some advice it was honest what like one just tell them kill themselves no no it's uh oh so to quit no no i have a way i don't want to get into it It's embarrassing Yeah okay I don't even know

What was it That upset anyone I don't say name I'm gonna leave What have you done Kyle I'm leaving I'm sorry Why As a team

You two He's honest yes Go ahead as a team You two balance each other out In a very odd way We Yes we are We fill gaps

Yeah Sometimes it feels like We're inside each other Whoa Yes Is that That's accurate Cause we have Is that blurting out anything No We fill gaps. Yeah. Sometimes it feels like we're inside each other. Whoa. Yes. Is that? That's accurate. Is that blurting out anything?

No. We do opposite things. And the things I have gaps in, he fills up. I mean, her is, it does sound sexual, but I'm not being sexual. It sounds incredibly sexual. No, but I know what you're saying. Yeah. I mean, he's an amazing joke machine.

It all sounds sexual. Every part of it is sexual. It does. Yeah, I mean, he's an amazing joke machine, you know? It all sounds like every part of it is like a sexual. You guys are silently creating the best comedy show on the internet. I really believe that. Thank you. Your shit that you guys are putting out, these face swaps, this fucking, the Fresh Prez, this Joe Biden sitcom. Yeah. I am astonished it hasn't caught on more than it has.

It's caught on a lot, but it should be one of the biggest fucking things in the country. You guys are doing the most ruthless, hilarious shit. I can't support it enough.

Thank you. And that's why I wanted to have you guys in here. I love it. It might be a little dirty. Thank you. A little dirty? You've been the one

that's like, I mean, you, when you started promoting my stuff like three years ago, I mean, I you started promoting my stuff like three years ago, I mean, I was nowhere. I was doomed.

You look back on your life, I didn't realize how doomed I was until you started supporting me. And then I was like cranking out maybe one a week, one sketch a week. And that was like a lot of work, you know, even just to do that, writing sketches, a lot harder to crank out.

You need a better Instagram handle. It's like Kyle Dunnigan 2. No, it's 1. It's's one it's one why is it one but it does mean it does mean someone have kyle dunnigan one he also has my email and he gets a lot of emails uh you've talked to this kyle dunnigan see he stopped he used to forward me stuff and it's been like a year and a half and i'm sure he just like i'm not doing this anymore. Yeah, I had joerogan.com. There was an original Joe Rogan who was a real estate salesman. You lost yours to a real estate guy too.

That's why I don't have Kurt Madsen. I didn't lose it. I mean, it's his name. He's older than me. He's a veteran. It's really his name, but I bought it from him. I had to buy joerogan.com.

I had kyledunningan.com and then someone bought it because I dropped the ball. And now he's like 40 grand and I'm like, no. Wow. So I have Kyle Dunningigan.com and then someone bought it because I dropped the ball and now he's like 40 grand and I'm like no So I have Kyle Dunnigan comedy 40 grand? I don't think the one with this fuck You want to make a year's salary almost?

I would have paid like a hundred dollars, but I have Kyle Dunnigan comedy.com which I don't like to say like It's a lot of words Comedy I have that line You're like telling people I'm doing No it's sad, it's sad Mine is taken by the, you know, dot com, the site. I used to have it, and then I just didn't pay, you know, way back when I had it.

And I didn't either pay for it or somebody else, and it was taken... Now it's a porn site. No. It was taken by a guy, Kurt Metzger, gay-friendly realtor. Was this... That's his handle? Gay-friendly? Yeah, which is...

It is weird, right? Well, I guess if you want to sell real estate in West Hollywood, like in a very specific five block area. A beautiful five block area. I would assume they're all gay friendly. Yeah. You want to make business. Who's not gay friendly?

I want your money. If you're specifying it, that's like weird. Yeah, we got that fucking dudes. I want your money. Keep your money. I'm for the Bible. I'm for the Bible. I'm for the Bible. I'm not for money.

Yeah, so he has it. So there's, I guess, a plug for him. So I have comedy like a second rate. Kurt Metzger comedy. Yeah, well, it's not bad. Kyle Dunnigan comedy is not bad. We're saying it. Millions of people are hearing it right now.

Yes, yes. I'll say my name for an hour and a half. But my nephew said putting a one a number is really dorky. Yeah, it's dorky Yeah, you should change that The guy who has Kyle Dunnigan does he use it? No, I don't think so Yeah, maybe I'll contact Instagram you're you're blue certified right you get a little check I got a check Yeah, son But no, it's crazy. They take your blue check if they don't agree with you wait

You can't lose your yeah, you can turn in your check you they'll take your blue check mark if you say objectionable things Well, I didn't know that yeah I thought the point of it was to keep people from pretending to be you exactly but they don't give a fuck like they're using As a punitive on Instagram or both yet, but they don't give a fuck. They're using it as a punitive. On Instagram or Twitter? On both. Really? OJ doesn't have a check, and people are trying to get it.

Have you seen his Twitter, by the way? Oh, it's the best. Hilarious. Hello, Twitter friend. He goes, hey, Twitter world, it's yours truly. That's right. Hey, Twitter world, it's yours truly. And all those tweets are like, he'll be like, hey, the Broncos are doing pretty good.

And then the commenter's like, murder, murder, murder. Hey, Alan's knee should be better. He's doing murder, murder, Julie. And all those tweets are like, he'll be like, hey, the Broncos are doing pretty good. And then the commenter's like, murder, murder, murder. Hey, Allen's knee should be better. He's doing murder, murder, murder. It's all knives. All like knife emojis. Like, you're killing it, OJ. That's what people write. It's strange hearing him talk about stuff.

Yeah, because he talks, gives advice and shit. He's so calm now. Yeah, well, when you get away with double murder you want to like stay on the dm when you make videos he's got a lot of wit and wisdom the oj he's been through a lot it's yours truly what's going on with the world i made mistakes just like you cut a lady's head off hey there's no reason to lose your temper when you get in a fight i'm just saying dude like imagine i remember I was with my girlfriend at the time. It was 1990, I guess it was like three or four.

Wait, is it four when he got off? Yeah. We were in my apartment in North Hollywood. I literally just moved to Hollywood. And we were sitting there holding hands, waiting for the verdict. She wanted to hold my hand. She was like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. And then knock killed and she went, oh.

I thought you were going to say you started cheering so loud you knocked over some hey twitter world what's he saying hey twitter world yours truly what's wrong with the volume oj and the cowboys again for that great opening. It's all non-murder stuff. He's giving commentary on football. Yeah. Like he's just a regular guy. Yeah. Pitch is pretty good this year.

Fantasy football tips. I know, but wouldn't he want to just lay low? I know. I know. You kill a couple people and you just- Yeah. Look at the comments are hilarious. Hey, Twitter world.

Hey, Twitter world. We lost another great one. Oh, someone died? No. Okay, let's read the comments on that one. Hey, Twitter world. Hey, Twitter world. We lost another great one. Oh, someone died? Okay, let's read the comments on that one. Click on that one. The comments must be, oh, you fuckers. Slash away, you dog slayer. Scroll down.

You gotta hack away on the drive. When you're not locked in, you can't do it. Really lean into it. It's okay. We don't need to see the comments. Really lean into it It's okay You know A lot of A lot of like people Like killers have Have like podcasts

And stuff now Like Sammy the Bull Sammy the Bull's guy Oh yeah He showed me Some of that stuff It's hilarious

I've never I don't think I could watch A mob movie again Like when they make a new one And have the same Because you can watch These guys tell the story And it's so much better.

Yeah, there's a couple of those guys. Michael Francesi and Sammy the Bull Gravano and a few of those mob guys. Yeah, and they get in fights, like mob podcast fights. That's not how he died, Sammy. That is not how I killed him. They all argue about shit you couldn't care less about. Like, he never hung out at that club. I was there every night, and I didn't killed him. They all argue about shit like you couldn't care less about. Like, he never hung out at that club. I was there every night and I didn't see him.

Their pasta fazool was garbage. It was garbage. But Sammy's is the best. There's a lot of them, but his is the best one. Hands down, the best one. Well, it's interesting. He tells stories.

You know, like, it's kind of crazy that a guy who's murdered nine people can just have a podcast yeah don't you think he probably thinks of it like like if you were talking to a so you probably talked to a lot i know i talked to a lot of soldiers that kill i don't know how many people they kill we didn't talk their kills but he probably thinks of it that way not that i think of it that way but i'm sure that's yeah he thinks like there's that was the business and we yeah we gotten this yeah but a lot these guys, I'm not saying him because I don't know, but a lot of them, you know, they are self-serving when they tell their stories.

Like even if he seems very like he's not holding anything back. Well. He's pulling off the best of it. He got out of jail, right? And he was an informant for the mob, right? Against the mob. He gets out of jail and then he's selling ecstasy. Like, the guy doesn't give a fuck.

Yeah, right. Then he goes back in, right? Did he get arrested again? Did he go to jail again for ecstasy? I know he got arrested for ecstasy. I don't know if he went back to jail. I mean, the guy is, like, he's pulled it off. Yeah.

He's, like, 70. Yeah. And he looks great. He seems happy, too. That's what's crazy. He looks calm and relaxed He looks he looks way younger than his age. Yeah A lot of them where they're like the moral like this movie is let you know not to get involved There's a lot of like yeah, I'm trying to tell you

Don't do this. What are you guys saying that I'm like, I'm trying to explain this is not a glorifying life. And he's selling a bat. He goes, this is no kind of life. You want to get a bat with my name on it? This is the bat that I used to kill four guys in the social club. The whole story is him hitting people with bats and he has merch bats. No. Really?

Who is this? John A. Light. Jesus, how many of these mob guys have social media profiles? And they're doing well. What was that Steven Seagal story? I watched his thing. All the stories are interesting, and it's stuff that you've seen for years. Like, History Channel has all these documentaries about mafia stuff, and none of them are as good as piecing it together from five different guys who were there.

Oh, yeah. You get the real story. Yeah, it's just so much better. That's the difference is you're getting the real fucking story. We crack open that whiskey. What are we doing, guys? You want some? Too early.

No, I don't give a fuck. Have a little drink. I haven't had a drink since I got COVID. Was that right? Really? Yeah, I decided to take some time off. I was going to take the whole month off, but in your honor, I'll have a little sippy poo.

I'll have a little sippy poo. Have young Jeffrey get us some glasses. Do you guys like ice? Yeah. Yeah? A little bit. Yeah, a little. I like ice.

We'll get some of that. We'll get some of that going. Yeah, I want to just make sure everyone knows. Get some of that Buffalo Trace. Break out the good stuff. Oh, I'll tell you what you have to watch if you watch a podcast is him talking about Steven Seagal. Yeah, that's hilarious.

Steven Seagal podcast. Well, Steven Seagal was trying to get comfortable with the mob, right? He was trying to get close to them. No, they made his movies, I guess.

What? He tells his story. This one made me, like, I was dying when he was telling this story about is how Steven Seagal, his whole career, like, all the good ones,

I think, were mob-funded movies. No. Really? no really and he didn't want to make them anymore he wanted to go this is how sammy's not like he wanted to go to tibet and meditate i don't know and um john gatti's brother was like let's get his ass making those movies again and then they started shaking him down to make more movies oh really yeah are? Yeah. Are you sure about all this? I'll tell you, this is what's on the podcast. Oh, okay. He does seem very believable. I'll say this. When he's telling the story.

Yeah, it doesn't seem like. Why would he lie at this point in his life? Yeah. He's literally got away with murder. Look, they all wear sunglasses, though. There's something suspicious that they all wear sunglasses. So does Tim Dillon, though. Thank you.

Thank you. He does? Dillon, though. Thank you. Thank you. He does? Is he the last guy now? Tim Dillon wears aviators, mirrored aviators like a cop in every episode. Tim Dillon is a goddamn genius. He's a national treasure. He really is. Yes.

We have a little scooper here. You don't have to use your hand. I didn't touch any other ice, FYI. I was very- Fucking ice grabber. You barely got your test results and you're already touching ice? Slimy, sweaty ice grabber. Negative.

Want some ice? High school nickname. Wait, Joe, is it true that you treated your COVID with horse cum? Well, that's the only way. I mean, if you really love animals like I do, you owe it to yourself. How could you? People are overdosing on horse cum I was told to by a random person I met on the subway

Dude, I cannot believe What's going on with this? He's just bad with scooping He sucks at scooping You are not a bartender, sir Why don't you just get your glass in there? You're like my left foot with the scooper. Look at that.

One scoop. Get in there with the glass. I like a little bit of ice because I don't want to drown out the flavors. Take that glass. What if you just pass the ice scooper? Go in there like that. Now I got your hands on my ice because I took your glass. Just give me the...

Oh, there you go. I don't care. You want more ice? Yeah, can I? This is a disaster. It can I? Yeah, here. This is a disaster. It's not that bad, dude. Total disaster.

Oops, I spilled. I mean, what a terrible job, Kyle, you did. I hope this is like a clip from on YouTube or a getting ice clip. Oh, this is going to be huge. This is going to be our biggest clip ever. Let's toast to you guys I wanna toast also Make very clear that That Kurt gets a lot of credit

Because he in his career Hasn't gotten much credit For a lot of things And also I have like three awards No but like I'm trying to compliment the guy What kind of awards you get?

We won an Emmy The first time we worked together No the Emmy The Emmy I have one But it's not It didn't go to me I have the Peabody I think I'm supposed to have another one

And then a writer's And then a guildie A writer's guild award Which apparently is a good award They all mean I don't know what you do with them You just stick them somewhere Also

We also get help from Jessica Montes And John Bush Also help with our stuff. Jessica produces and John writes stuff too. But Kurt, this is how we got totally scammed. We were running for this sketch show, and it was Kurt's idea for this very funny song,

which was Girl, You Don't Need Makeup. But it ended up like, maybe you should wear makeup. And I was like, oh, I want to write the music for that, because I like to write music. And so it was Kurt's total idea. And, you know, some writers and I put... Everybody throws in on... I added some stuff.

Like, we all added some stuff, but it was Kurt's idea. So anyway, the Emmy Comedy Center, for some reason, the way the Emmy set up, it goes to the producer and the writer of the music. So I got the Emmy, and Kurt Kurt who should have also got an Emmy was totally blocked out of it the executive user ended up giving him an Emmy just yeah they re engraved re-engrave oh that's nice I was on can he give you an Emmy it's like if I give you an Oscar count but it's not real but because I count? But it's not real. No, but Nicole, if you look at it. I'll give you both Oscars.

And there was a reason for why, and I couldn't even understand it. It was a whole thing written out. I don't understand either. It's all scams. These fucking producers and executives. It was something about not incentivizing. I swear to God. Not incentivizing creative talent? Yeah, but then people are just going to try to write songs to get at me.

What? It was really. Because it's something probably with paying for if there's, you know, I don't know. Oh, that business has to die. There's so many fucking corrupt little weird veins in that dick. Yeah, why would you want to be the dick of the business? Yeah, it really made no sense. It's a blue vein corruption machine.

Yeah, and there's also a, every other year they do the best original music on the emmys but but this year it was on fxx so it was like a taped they do a whole it is fxx it's like bad fx these shows aren't good so it's vin diesel's fx memories in triple x That's Triple X Alvin Diesel It's a prequel So I went up And I Very much Was like Kurt Metzger

Should be up here Da da da da da Good for you Well they cut That part out And it was just I was like Hey thanks

Hi bye They edited your Fucking speech So anyway Kurt deserves a lot of credit And And yeah That's the story.

That's the Emmy story that he should have gotten that he did not get. The end. I don't care about it. You seem like you care a little bit. I feel like a little pain. At the time, I did. But I was like, but what are you going to do? Yeah, it's not a thing that would be worth going to any kind of.

Well, it's valuable if you're a writer. If you're a writer and you're in the business and you're trying to get sitcom gigs and any kind of television gig or movie gig, having an Emmy is valuable. And if he cried now a little bit, that'd be good. It'd help. Yeah, it would show your rage.

It would show you some emotion. That was what you thought my crying triggers would be? The hope was. Well, I am sorry. I don't get it. A long time ago, I remember talking to Louie, and he was really funny, and I really didn't give a shit. That stuff doesn't necessarily lead to anything.

Emmys? It can. Yeah, it could. But what helps you a lot more is if if you're like clicked up with like you know first of all yeah just middle-aged white writer i don't know if you're like mostly casting the writing rooms now so you got to be already in with like grandfathered in right old white guys or you're not you know what i mean like there's no you couldn't be i wouldn't know how you'd be like a new guy trying to get into it i have no idea how you a new guy you mean

yeah like some diversity you would have to be like really high in like an improv scene probably probably like a rich kid so are they like particularly casting things just based on diversity now oh yeah have you not watched the uh i don't pay attention oh yeah it's crazy i would like but i know they do that for shows, like in terms of casting, but in terms of writing. I'm not talking about the cast. I'm talking about the writing rooms. I know a very big show,

these extra producers were like, do you know any black writers? They're specifically needed to hire. They have to hire one because they don't want the press of, look at this writer's room. There's a picture of a bunch of white people. They they don't want the press of, look at this writer's room, there's a picture of a bunch of white people. They just don't want that trouble.

By the way, they also don't really want black writers. They want somebody black who also is like our sort. Do you know what I mean? They don't want black. Who's like Hollywood liberal, wants to play the game, wants to be in the inside. Yeah, right. Like a John Legend-y kind of guy.

Wants to say exactly what they want them to say. It's uncomfortable if it's not like that. They don't want more like Chappelle's. You know what I mean? Like the diversity push is not going to be like, ooh, more Chappelle's. None of them want that. I was on a show.

I was writing and they hired a they. And they had a talk with us. A they? Yeah, there's a they coming in. You have to say, like, they got coffee, and they talked to us, and then they came in, and then they was terrible. Like, they was very bad at their job.

Imagine that. Imagine being two people not being able to do the job with one person. And they there, do you say their job? Their job. Do you say them? If your pronouns are they, them, do you say their job? Their job. If your pronouns are they them, do you say their job still? I think so.

You must, right? Yeah. The whole team wasn't going to be job. They are going to be here shortly. Do you have they apostrophe R-E when it's they're going to be there shortly? Jamie doesn't want to touch this. He doesn't want to even Google it.

You know, here going to be there shortly like he, like you. touch this. He doesn't want to even Google it. You know, here, going to be there shortly, like he, like you. Like, when is Kyle going to be here? Oh, he's going to be here shortly. I wouldn't say here. He, posturing, R-E. Kurt has a lot of more info on this topic than I do.

I didn't witness this happen. I've never had that. Well, they fucked up three times in like two days. How'd they fuck up? They sent an email to all the executives that they shouldn't have. It was like a private email. What was the email? I don't know exactly what it was,

but it was something that they didn't want the executives to know about. Oh, boy. And it was three things. So they had to fire they, and then they did. Did they sue? I don't then they did. Did they sue? I don't think they sued. They usually sue. They could have.

When they get a gig like that, because of the fact that they're looking for diversity and they know about that fact, oftentimes they realize, like, hey, these motherfuckers are over the rail here. Yeah. Well, but the thing is, if you get hired for that reason... Yeah. A friend of mine was saying on... It was a channel.

Like, if you're hired for that reason because you're they, well, they then did their job. I showed up and I'm they. Like, what... Hmm. I shouldn't ever be fired if that's the reason you hired me.

Imagine this conversation if someone didn't know what the fuck we're talking about and it was, like, 10 years ago. I don't know what I'm talking... But 10 years ago, you're like, what the fuck are these idiots saying? what is this they talk well you know

what helps i it's hard to learn it but i find it helps if i go on tiktok and someone with clown hair condescendingly tells it to me always have clowns usually have a nose you watch people like oh my god it's so simple like i'm lexy sexual how do you not get this what's that one well dude have you ever gone on Libs of TikTok? Yeah, right. That's what I said. Libs of TikTok on Twitter is one of the greatest fucking accounts of all time. It's every day.

They scour all these really super crazy liberal TikTok pages. That's beyond even liberal, though. I mean, it's definitely the result of liberal parenting. It's just a good name, Libs of TikTok. It might not be. It might be like hardcore Christian parenting. They call, it's just a good name. Libs of TikTok. It's definitely, it might not be, it might be like hardcore Christian parenting. You know what I'd like to know?

It forces them to be regressive. Yeah, that you're right. You're right. Or rather, I'd like to know where it's like, are they all from Portland and Seattle? Like,

oh yeah, it's got to be that, right? It's well up there. It's like accepted and encouraged. No, it's a friend of mine's from there that used to work on my podcast when I was in my old space doing it. And he's from there.

And he's like, yeah, all the parents, that's like your kids in Little League. But they're like gender bending. That's like a real mark of pride. Yeah, they actually encourage it, some folks. Have you seen the girl who has a bunch of bracelets and her gender changes on the hour? Oh, yeah, yeah. And she lets you know by her bracelets what her gender is.

In a condescending way she lets you know like figure it out. Yeah. Get it together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very simple. See this?

This is blue. But I might be a girl in 10 minutes. That's the thing. That's the out of line thing is the part of like now this may change in an hour.

That one you're talking about specifically goes it may change in the next hour or maybe for the next year. Years ago I was listening to a radio lab podcast about this person who was gender fluid. And they were treating it like it's the rarest ailment of all time. And this was only like maybe five or six years ago. I remember driving on the way to work, listening to this person.

And they were like, okay, now I'm Sam. Now I now i'm sam now i'm a guy now i'm a guy i'm back yeah when i get upset when i get upset i become a guy and then it was like now i'm debbie again they're like what the fuck is this illness but they were trying to take it seriously and they were trying to explain like imagine being this person that has this issue all i'm hearing is this like super needy Weirdo who is just making up the fact that they become a boy or a girl Randomly back and forth throughout the day, and we're just taking it seriously like this person should have a really difficult job That's what they need what they really need is something That's like hard to do where they have to think about it and concentrate all that very highly

Competitive or they turn into a man to saw no so that they they fucking don't they don't Fill their life up with this bullshit. It's complete. Well, you're just all day long You're going back and forth from being a male and a female Lot of thinking what's the thing that makes you a woman if you're like nice I don't understand what the thing is that it's feminine like now. I'm mad that means I'm a man understand it It doesn't make any sense looks. It's one thing if like you are You're trans right so you feel like a woman you always wanted to be a woman you feel like you're in the wrong body Well if you're going back and forth all day long. It's this is indulgent. This is heavily indulgent

Yeah, and imagine what an exhausting friend yes, oh yeah, just like what what's now? all day long. This is indulgent. This is heavily indulgent. And imagine, what an exhausting friend to have. Oh yeah. Just like, what's now? But imagine me saying this and there's someone out there that really does go back and forth.

What the fuck do I know? Yeah, I don't want anyone to feel bad. I just feel like you need to, if that's happening, you can't be on Twitter like, acting like this is, hey Twitter world,

I'm a girl, I'm a girl. If OJ transitioned you'd support him imagine if he did he was like there's only one way to get out of this

yeah the Caitlyn Jenner way that's how she got out of killing that person with her car the timing was excellent for her amazing

perfect it was excellent amazing just really like stellar timing but amazing how everyone ignored it yeah it was really i wonder what would happen now because there was like it was very new and if uh if that car crashed because have you

seen the uh footage the reenactment like she's slammed into the first and then slammed in the second it was like uh did she was she not looking at her phone Bruce did that yeah, he's gone So you don't have to worry about it. She looking on her phone. Was she not looking I don't know I don't how she him that hard. I don't know I didn't hear any Posse I think was the story wasn't it was that the story no I swear that was a defense don't think Yes, obviously, but then I not running from the paparazzi. They run straight at them and wave. Do you have that reenactment on?

Trying to catch up with paparazzi is what happens. It was like they stopped and she wasn't looking. Paparazzi were going after Drake, and they said, let me get in on this. Yeah, the car crash, I had never seen it until he showed it to me. I was like wow That's crazy What's crazy is like A month later She's on ESPN

Winning athlete of the year Woman of the year Yeah Well it was athlete of the year And then some magazine Gave her woman of the year Oh yeah And then all the jokes ensured

I mean Chappelle has a Fucking brilliant bit about that Oh my god I don't know that bit Yeah it's new It's a new bit I don't want to give it up Because it's going to be on a special.

Damn, baby. It's fucking amazing. It's a strange time, man. I mean, it's all of, you know, Douglas Murray, who's this British intellectual, genius guy, he said every civilization that's falling apart in the dying days of civilization, they become obsessed with gender. Really. They become obsessed with gender. They become obsessed with gender swapping and men dressing up like women

and women dressing up like men. They become obsessed with blurring the lines. He believes it has something to do with... I don't want to put words in his mouth. I believe what he said was it has something to do with excess and indulgence and too much prosperity and that people just start looking for conflicts that don't exist. You start looking for, you know, just weird ways to be nonconformist,

weird ways to get attention. Yeah. That makes sense because I mean, you have to, it's a sign of a really good society. Things are going very well. You have so much time to even worry about, you know, exactly how you feel hour to hour. Yeah but on the other hand like throughout history people have felt trans. People have felt like they're in the wrong body. I was gonna ask what's the big thing because that's always around. Always been around. So it's what when a bunch of people are chasing that trend? Yes.

What do you mean like? Well it's when society embraces that trend to the point where it becomes something to strive for. Like if you do that and you lean towards that, you will get an immense amount of positive attention publicly. You know, when I was in high school, this was like when I graduated, I was probably 95. But that was when like the Tunnel and the Limelight and all those clubs are in New York. Yeah. And that's when I, and I remember the change from like where people throwing around the f word of gay right to where it was like cool and people that were not at all

gay were like faking it when because they go to these clubs and it was like a drug you know they were getting drugs from these older guys yeah and they were acting gay i had a friend that died it was really wild he and he he's on an episode of the club kid episode of Donahue. Oh Wow with yeah, and he ended up dying to like a speedball or something But uh, it started to be like cool and it was like a party thing Where it was uh, you know the people like you're not a lesbian I just remember that that shift where it was like hip it became a cool thing to be yeah But that's cuz there was like a club scene that was making it cool

You know, I don't know how I'm assuming around the rest of the country. It wasn't necessarily like that Well, it's interesting how people like follow trends even if those trends look ridiculous Like here's a great example Rob Halford lead singer Judas Priest. He's a fucking animal, right? Amazing singer just a fucking incredible rock star gay as fuck and Rob Rob Halford convinced all these guys that were into metal back then to dress up like a guy would go to a leather bar yeah so like his style of like leather hats and open leather vests with no shirt on and leather pants like these guys all started dressing like straight guys

started dressing like gay guys who go to leather bars like he he got them all to dress like him it's kind of amazing that's what a beast he was yeah it is i think the problem it's like you got another thing coming we have to put we have to just like to be a society we have to have like groups and then you go okay it's like men and women and that that doesn't quite do it but then to what's happening now it's like everyone's getting their very very specific thing they feel and we need to like have some folder where we put a bunch we can't have every but because everyone's gonna feel you're saying a box called other i don't know how many boxes there needs to be but there's there seems like we're getting to a point like this woman who who every hour changes her, but there seems like we're getting to a point, like this woman who every

hour changes her gender. That seems like you've got to jump into one of the boxes. She's only a woman sometimes, though, dude. Don't be rude. I'm sorry. Fucking rude. Assuming she doesn't get surgery, I imagine that's a phase. It's a guy. Yeah, but the girl we're watching with the

bracelets, that's clearly a phase. A phase, yes. Yeah, but the girl will watch him with the bracelets. That's clearly a phase, right? A phase, yes. Yeah. I don't see that one getting into the real world now. I didn't see a lot of other shit getting into the real world, so I could be wrong. She's going to be a Fox News mother when she's 50. Yeah?

Yeah. Because that's like following a band. That's what that is, right? That's what my girlfriend said. She goes, my girlfriend, when she was in high school, she's like She's like everybody was trying to be hardcore like who's the most core and then it's like that But without the band and then you know queer instead of core and that's that's the whole you know Like punk was in when I was yeah school right you're a rebel yeah Yeah, you're a part of the new wave of kids coming up It's gonna change society and you feel shame like I'm just a guy and you like you're not in the group

I It's gonna change society and you feel shame like I'm just a guy and you like you're not in the group I Don't think it's changed society. It was just look like be part of a scene and look look cool It's just now you don't need a band at all. It's like beyond any kind of Punk But the other thing is it's discriminator the people that do it they'll oftentimes discriminate against people who? assume traditional gender roles Like go look at you. Okay, but okay cheerleader yeah in the real world like you were talking about the they that screwed up like i'm curious like from that that's the height of ridiculous bets like kids on tiktok then the real world what's the level of what level of ridiculous

actually comes out you know besides the thing you like you know like that's where it kind of matters right like like outside of uh just kids doing it in TikTok. Because that seems like it'll be, like, a real phased-out trend with the bracelet girl, you know? Who knows? Because if corporations continue to gravitate towards wokeness, that might be something that, like, helps you in the corporate world. Well, definitely it does now. Like like to have your fucking beads on yeah people were making fun of they's and them's just five six years ago and now it's like people have their that in their pronouns in their bio on their twitter page those are like old-fashioned like bug

is something like my pronouns are bug what is bug Is that a real one Yes What is bug No really I swear to god bug I don't know There's also bunny I know bunny is one Bunny Bunny is one

Bunny Yeah Bunny is a pronoun Yeah It's a fucking rabbit It's like bun buns Bunny Come on

I swear to god This is the most Probably Americans Have ever studied pronouns In this conversation I wonder if this is A subject You should be the one To teach Yeah I wonder if there's Like a university course This is the most probably Americans have ever studied pronouns. This conversation? You should be the one to teach. Yeah, I wonder if there's like a university course you could take. Gender pronouns.

There's a ZZer that goes, the list of ZZer breakdowns. It's literally like 20 different ways you can say ZZer. I'm not even sure what ZZer is, but I saw the list. The crazy thing is it's compelled in a lot of places like you yeah well that's the real to use those words it's compelled speech maybe we're just how did how did uh like what do you got here but like oh my god bug wants to work by bug self Card grew up in scope during the protest moves of 2020. These days, many of its more than 2 million pages are, what is card? This is an article from the New York Times talking about neopronouns.

This is the New York, listen. Neopronouns. What's the headline of the article? A guide to neopronouns. Are you a person, a place, or a thing? We have good news. No, you don't. You don't have any good news.

That's the New York Times, dude. Oh, I'm pre-prin, prins, prinself. Oh my god, they are a prince? Is that what that is? Oh my god, prince? What is that? Non-binary pronouns as well. One in five

Americans? Jesus Christ. One in five Americans have non-binary pronouns? No, know someone who uses them. That seems high. That's like... Well, you know someone if you follow libs of TikTok. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I mean... No, in person. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know anyone that has a they, them, but I'm a 54-year-old man who uses TikTok. One in five is herpes statistics. That's like very... That's a lot.

I think the other four are lying. I think everybody has herpes. I think I'd rather deal with herpes statistics. That's a lot. I think the other four are lying. I think everybody has herpes. I think I'd rather deal with herpes than... This gets into a weird part of English. A noun self pronoun? I'm not quite sure how to explain that to anybody. A neopronoun can also be a so-called noun self pronoun in which a pre-existing word is drafted into use as a pronoun

Look out they write it n OU n self pronouns. It's not even what is that word? What is a noun self pronoun I don't kitten self. What is that word? noun self You know nouns the Blake that's a that word looking at that word looks so crazy noun times it must be real i know but when you see noun self you're like what in the fuck are we doing noun self pronoun could be can refer to animals so your pronouns could be bun bun self and kitten kitten self what the fuck is a bun can be a vamp a vamp, though. Oh, my God. Vamp self. You could be a werewolf.

But then what? That doesn't tell me. First of all, vampire. Finally, I get to be a werewolf. I want to be all by my kitten self. Are you a boy or a girl vampire? That doesn't even tell me your gender still. Look at this.

Or even just common slang like in it, in its, in itself. Well, my in itself says, so, hey, are you going to take in itself to the movies tonight? I'll probably take kitten self. Kitten more cool. Says, so hey, are you going to take In Itself to the movies tonight? I'll probably take Kitten Self. Kitten more cool. These kids need jobs in a mine. They need to work in a coal mine making the metal that you need for cell phones. You need to work right next to the African kids that are digging Coltrane out of a fucking mountain. Yeah, tell them, I'm a bun self.

The Congo, yeah. Call me bun self. Like, are there buns? I'm very hungry. They need to be in West Virginia in the middle of a fucking coal mine, hanging out with those meth heads. Yeah, tell them you're a bun self. Some of this could be a troll. That's kind of fun that they mention that. What?

It says that, like, you can't tell what's what. Yeah. For those unfamiliar with the culture surrounding neopronons right now, it's likely impossible to distinguish between what's playful, what's deeply meaningful, and what's people being mean. Who? What?

Who's being mean? Making fun of it. Making fun, like us? Are we being mean? Or making a even like a werewolf self. Oh my god. It's so indulgent. It's indulgent. It's people looking to be special special they don't have anything that separates them from the herd you know there's nothing about you that's special

so you decide you're a kitten self what would you say i think i think joe your clown makeup is where you have the chance to spread your wings how does my clown makeup well you're telling me this tell me about this fucking clown i told you to save it you were telling me where we have a great. Oh, yeah, we were having expressed I'm talking about the great French class Do you ever the guy showed you the guy is the number one clown in the world the best clown? He's so cool. Yeah, he doesn't use makeup anymore. He passes the makeup. That's what I took from it He has little red glasses. He's so such a master clown He'd no longer needs a nose like slowly take away like your shoes get shorter as you get better

you lose your nose you can dress like a normal person you're the highest level is business suit right right business clown yeah but it's very like montreal i mean wait i don't remember his name it's like gallier the picture of your light is on i know fucking grandpa yeah what is that why does it do that because it's on it's fucking it's so that you could use it hold on like if you want to see something in the dark this is the boom it turns on all the agendas yeah it's a button it's on your screen i know how to turn it off because it happens a lot this guy yeah that's the that's the head clown phil Gauld. Yeah. Miserable looking fellow. He looks like shit. And there's accusations of cultiness. Cultiness? Yeah, it sounds like...

That's the number one clown of all time? Get us some video on this man, young Jamie. There's a BBC thing of like the master of clowns. Let's see him. Oh, clown master workshop. Oh, he's got a master workshop. Now, see how they have the nose hung around their neck like a medallion? The nose is around the neck?

Oh, Jesus Christ, look at these fucking people. This is their... They have a clown workshop. Someone should do a documentary on what takes place. Give me some volume on this guy. He's the bull... Scorn was pointed. It's a delicate balance.

At whom the finger of scorn was pointed. It's a delicate balance. At whom the finger of scorn was pointed. It's a delicate balance. It's a really delicate balance, but I am a really delicate guy. It's too long. It's too long. Gallier has a school in Paris. He's taught some of the world's top performers, including Emma Thompson, even Sacha Baron Cohen. including Emma Thompson,

even Sacha Baron Cohen. He himself is someone who is very entertaining as a teacher. So he entertains us for the full five hours each day of the workshop. Oh, God. Five hours. By the way, she had theater, like theater kid energy reeking from

every day. Can you show me a video of him doing clown stuff? I want to see the master at work. like theater kid energy reeking from every day. Can you show me a video of him doing clown stuff? I want to see the master at work. You drop pencil, you go to pick it up, but you kick it forward, then you pick up the pencil again. I do not need the makeup.

Well, he trashes them. They do their clown presentations. He's like, that was, yeah. It does not mean that we stick to one theory. There's theory, There's clown theory. Oh, Christ. On clowning? First of all, what gender are you?

Are you bug or bug self? I am clown self. I have funny eyes and we are better with these people. The only clown is a sound guy. This is fucking terrible. There's one called the master of of Clowns or the Clown Master. And it's better because it shows the people getting like torn down, you know. Like they just finished their presentation and he's like Gordon Ramsay trashing their. Did you ever see?

Dude, I love the idiot sandwich Gordon Ramsay. I see people use it as memes They put bread by their head They have to say they're an idiot sandwich You ever see him do that? No He does that? Yeah like it's like a meme now But he would

He put bread on this chick's head And he goes what are you? You're an idiot sandwich Oh you have to say it? Is that a Hell's Kitchen thing? Yeah it's It's one of the degrading It's the only way to get attention though

If you're gonna do one of those shows Yeah yeah You almost have to be mean There's so much crap Like everybody knows who Simon Cowell is You know? It's like one of the degrading. It's the only way to get attention, though, if you're going to do one of those shows. Yeah, yeah. You almost have to be mean. There's so much crap out there. Everybody knows who Simon Cowell is. Yeah, why did Ellen get such a hard time for her Simon Cowell? Well, it was different. I bet Simon offstage is probably a nice guy.

Oh, right. You know what I'm saying? It's like when you're pretending to be a nice person, and then offstage you're horrible to the people that work for you. Oh, boy. Oh, my God. this is great, give me some volume. I'm afraid we're embarrassed, we are not sure if you are happy to see us. Yeah, happy, absolutely. He kind of takes on a role at the centre of the audience and gives them a voice.

So if there's a tiny bit of laughter, he won't say, oh, it's all right. He'll say, no, it's horrible. Your feedback is quite brutal. Have you ever felt... Jamie, Jamie, go back to that. Go back to right where it was. It's all right. He'll say, no, it's horrible.

Your feedback is quite brutal. Have you ever felt guilty about something that you said to someone? Not at all. If you ever felt guilty about something that you said to someone? Not at all. If you want to discover your clown, you have to hear audience. And when they laugh, it's me. When they don't laugh, your clown is not close to your body. I need to see this guy do clown stuff.

Because right now I'm just hearing clown theory from him. Very cocky. It's like someone teaching a stand-up comedy class and you don't see their set. This guy do clown stuff because right now. I'm just hearing clown theory from him. Yeah, yeah, yeah It's like someone teaching a stand-up comedy class And you don't see their set which is like often the case if you ever watch the stand-up comedy class I Took one when I first started many times not all the time many times They are they are run by the worst fucking comics that have ever lived yes, yes Yeah, the only either the first time i ever heard of that did you know stew do you know stu caiman's do you remember him no from like the 90s but he had that

he had been on like um liquid chef for awesome like uh every like 90s stand-up thing i would see comic central i would see him pop up but he taught a class but it was made when he said it's funny because i'm sure he showed his set to the class a lot like this is a great you know like oh well i'm sure there's also people like showing their set like this is how you you said it's funny. Cause I'm sure he showed his set to the class a lot. Like this is a great, you know, like, Oh, well, I'm sure there's also people like showing their set. Like this is how you do it.

It's like when you date an actress and she shows you her real, that's never happened to me. I've had that. I've had that. I know. Like, you're like, what is this?

One line in a commercial. He could barely, it's a few strung together, but it's seen. It's much better than if you're over a friend's house and it's a guy and he shows you his reel. Then it's like, this is death. I have to get a new friend. Or someone sings you a song they wrote.

Oh, no. Or you're in a car and they trap you. Hey, you got to listen to this. And they put the CD in. Dude, I knew a guy that would bring girls home. This was years ago. And his room was right by the living room. So they go in his room,

and you would hear first his reel. No. But it wasn't fucking that. First they watched his reel, then... Oh, my God. And then they would have sex? And she would be like, oh, my God, you were on Law & Order for real?

That sounds pretty good. No, there's nothing like that on the reel. It's just funny to hear that's such an actor's... It's on the real thing. It's just funny to hear, like, that's such a, it's such an actor's, it's such. It's such an actor thing. Yeah, like, I've, you know, I guess I've never dated an actress now, but I think about it. Well, it's such a mentally ill profession because you go in there, right? If they weren't mentally ill when they started acting, they become mentally ill through this whole audition process because you're insecure.

You're trying, am I going to make it? Is this going to happen for me? And then you go in this room and you have to perform for these people and they're just like stoic, dead faced and they're like thank you and you leave and you're like I wanna kill myself and then you just wanna do drugs or have sex

or do something to try to distract yourself and drown out the pain and then next thing you know, you're doing it again. You're doing it it again you're getting rejected 10 times a day you're not selling like a t-shirt you're selling yourself yeah do you like no and there's it is war class that's why it's war class yeah but why like in high school the theater kids i remember not even understand till later like how much they were like debauched they were all fucking earlier than any than the kids from the bad neighborhood. Do you know what I mean?

Like, so what's that? Oh, like Connecticut? I was like in the theater thing. In Connecticut? We did the Wiz. It was all white school. We did the Wiz, which is an all black play. And I was the scare-

Did you do blackface? No, I was the scarecrow, so kind of. Did anybody do blackface? No, the scarecrow so kind of did anybody do blackface no but we had one black girl in the school and they cast her as a munchkin the one black girl

in our whole school was why isn't she the Diana Ross character I don't know I don't know it's a fact this is back

way back when the fact that we did the Wiz at all like come on in ease on down the road they actually had the woman who did it on Broadway who did the music on Broadway the director came to our school for a day because our director knew

this lady and she was just so disgust she was like it's come on ease on down ease on down and we're like ease on she couldn't get us to sing it like ben shapiro sherry's berries it's fine it's fine that's the best Ben Shapiro impression ever. When you do Ben Shapiro, I cry. Has he seen it? He's so funny. I think you said he sent him the Biden Shapiro one. That's right. So I guess.

Oh, that's right. He enjoyed it, actually. That's cool. People who like the impression. When he was sitting on Biden's lap. Oh, you sent him that one? Yes. Okay.

I think I sent him that one. That one. He was pretty tiny in that one. I think I sent him both of those ones. We pretty tiny in that one I think I've sent him multiple ones we have a Star Trek one coming out with him

he's playing Spock and yeah the editing work I need like editing help but most of my time

I'm editing are you an editor do you know how to do it are you doing it with do you know how to use the computers yes I edit everything and it takes forever

using Avid what are you using yeah I use the computers and everything? Yes, I edit everything. Using Avid, what are you using? Yeah, I use Premiere Pro. And it's just like, it knocks me down. It just takes out so much energy. You need Adderall. Yeah, I think I need drugs. Yeah. I think that's the answer.

Or another editor. A lot of those guys are on Adderall. It's such a, it's so hard to sleep. When you edit all day, I wake up, I edit all day, I collapse. Wake up and then, like now my sleep is so fucked up. Oh, I can imagine. Well, Adderall should help with that. Adderall and India.

You want a great sleep battery. You need a double A combination. You need a good doctor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to a sleep doctor, and it was helpful, but the actual cure for sleep is so annoying. It takes about a week, but it really works if you're having trouble sleeping.

You have to get up out of bed if you can't sleep immediately and you get up and you read or whatever and then when your head starts bobbing, you get back into bed and after about a week, your brain goes,

okay, we hit this bed, we sleep. Really? It's really annoying because for a week, you don't sleep much at all. Tim Dillon told me

he quit drinking coffee and it fucking completely cured all of his sleep problems. No, he doesn't have sleep problems. You don't drink coffee? I don't, no. Every now and then I do, but it's just my mind is racing around.

So it's just work? Just work stuff? Yeah, also music loops in my head incessantly. Sometimes it gets into some annoying loop, stuff like that. Just for no reason lying in bed? Mm-hmm. It sounds like acquired savantism. It's a loop. Do you see that?

The guy that he got like, it's always like a head injury. Acquired it? Yeah, acquired. Oh, right, right, right. You get hit by lightning and you can read minds. Some guy hit his head on a pool or something and then he started playing keyboards. So he just sees black and white boxes,

and he only gets like a third of what's like, it's like almost too, yeah, like the stuff's all there, and too much of it's coming in at once, and he has to. Oh, wow. So about the guy from Oasis got hit in the head with a hammer,

then he said he liked music. There's another story about that. A hammer? That's one of them English things. A hammer? I got hit with a hammer. A hammer? There's like a one in a hundred.

That go back good? That's Scottish, I think. You have a tiny chance of getting hit in the head and having some kind of superpower. Yeah, it's very low. Most of the time we just get dumb. There's a disease that wouldn't be bad to have. Normally a disease you don't want. But this disease I found,

it's not bad. It's called Williams. And this side effect is you're friendly. There's a video of this girl and she's just like, hugs are the best. And her sisters have to be like, no, you can't hug strangers. And it's like,

it's an amazing side effect. She's so happy. Especially during a pandemic. That's not a good. No. How'd she get it? I think you're just born with it. But there not be a good... She's so happy. Especially during a pandemic. That's not a good... No. How'd she get it? I think you're just born with it. But there's a guy,

a really annoying guy interviewing her and he's like, I like when you smile. It makes me smile. And she's like, uh-huh, I like to smile. He's like,

well, that makes me feel good. Does that make you feel good that I feel good? She's like, uh-huh. Ew. So she doesn't recognize him being annoying? I think she kind of.

There's a little bit in her face. But she tolerates it because she's so nice? She's so happy. But part of, he almost knocked it out of her. Maybe that's the cure. Just being around someone who's really bad. It's called Williams? I've never heard of that.

Does it do anything else? I mean, no, I don't think so. Here it is. What are the effects of Williams Syndrome? Williams Syndrome is a developmental disorder that affects many parts of the body. This condition is characterized by mild to moderate intellectual disability or learning problems,

unique personality characteristics, distinctive facial features, and heart and blood vessels. So this is like a show on being nice. What sounds bad when they say it? They don't say nice. It doesn't say being nice at all. Wow. It was a YouTube video,

William Syndrome, side effect friendliness. Wow. I don't do deep research. Good move. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to fuck up your, if you know all the facts,

it'll fuck up your comedy. Would you like a job reporting at the New York, at Rolling Stone? On the health beat? Oh yeah, I could be a reporter. How fucking crazy was that story? And by the way, if people don't know that that's complete bullshit yeah they're not gonna know because that is so bald-faced lie

that the people that are like no yeah that like you know watch colbert and like oh it's a horse dewormer there's nothing you're gonna ever tell them you know what i mean well that's the narrative has gotten out and so if you're not a person who looks into these stories, the narrative is ivermectin is a horse dewormer. And Rolling Stone actually printed a story that said that there was a hospital that had so many cases of overdose of horse dewormer that gunshot wound victims had to wait. They could not get into the emergency room. Complete, total fabrication. They had no cases of ivermectin poisoning. None.

Zero zilch. Not only that, you can't find any in the whole country. There's none. It's not toxic. It's a lie. Not only that, the doctor that was in that story hadn't worked in that emergency room room for months it was a complete fabrication rolling stone did no research and just printed it and then rachel maddow tweeted it and then all these other lefties

started tweeting newsweek and our talk they all ran the same the. That's crazy. Never looked into it. Never verified it. Journalism has become so clickbait driven that this was a great story. And it was right after I said that I had taken ivermectin, which I also said I had taken monoclonal antibodies, by the way, which is Regeneron, which Fauci has said keeps 85% of the people who take it out of the hospital. Oh, horse re-wormer probably? Meanwhile, this ivermectin, there's multiple randomized controlled studies on this stuff. The guy got a Nobel Prize and invented it because it's one of the most important drugs in human history. It's one of the World Health Organization's essential medicines. And the idea that they're just defaming this drug and defaming me by saying that it's horse dewormer is hilarious. Did you see this dipshit from The Intercept?

I've heard this one. I love Jimmy Dore. He played, you know, that was going around. I can't remember the name of the reporter. It's from Intercept, but it's a hack. And Jimmy put up that World Health Organization just the information about the drug with no comment yeah so this guy oh we're into horse dewormers now right and some woman tweets like my family lives in a third world country and you know

they're not just giving the vaccine away to the people who can't afford it in other countries they have to use ivermectin she She goes, it saved my family's life. The ones that took it. So this fucking piece of shit digs into her history, like her personal history and find shit at DUI. This is what he uses his journalistic connections for it. She had a DUI 10 years ago and he posts that and goes, oh, I really want to know what you think.

Emoji car crash to like beer steins. Oh my God. god basically doxter that was his response to someone whose third world parents are family is safe from the drug that's so like the dy thing is so crazy to me because i thought it was going to be he just said something stupid that's like vicious well this is these these ideologically driven ideas. Like you're either on our side or you're on the enemy's side. It's so tribal. Like the idea that a medication – by the way, I listed off a bunch of medications that I took.

And the reason why I did it is because I wanted people to know what I took because I felt great. Right. Because I was already feeling better. That's the craziest boy. It was Wednesday. By Friday, I had tested negative. I mean, this is a five-day period, two days where I didn't feel good. One day, I felt like shit.

One day, I didn't feel so bad. And then Wednesday, when I put the video out, I felt pretty fucking good. I mean, I was out walking around in my backyard, having a good time outside, playing with the dog. I didn't feel 100%, but I felt pretty fucking good. And that's when I put the video out because I had to say, Chappelle and I weren't doing that arena that weekend. I had to cancel it, and this is why, because I got COVID. But I wanted to let everybody know all the different stuff that I took.

By the way, I'm not an anti-vaxxer. I've encouraged my parents to get vaccinated. I've encouraged all my overweight friends to get vaccinated, at least most of them. I was about to take the vaccine myself. The UFC allocated a bunch of vaccines and I showed up to get vaccinated. And there was a mistake and they said, the way the CDC has it, you have to actually go to the hospital. And I said, I can't do that right now, but I'll be back in two weeks. Can we do it then? They said, yes, fine. And so then in

between that two weeks time, the Johnson and Johnson vaccine, which is the one that the UFC had allocated, got pulled because people were getting blood clots. So then I went, hey. And so then I started looking into it. And then two people that I know had like severe side effects of getting vaccinated, just random, because I know a lot of people it's fairly safe if you look at the numbers like the people that have adverse side effects versus the people that don't it's a small it's not even one percent it's a very small percentage of the people that have adverse side effects but well if you're in that percentage of the people where it's adverse side because i have it i didn't i was like i don't care i'll just take a chance uh uh if you're the but if you're in that percentage of the people where it's adverse, because I have it. I didn't, I was like, I don't care.

I'll just take a chance. If you're the, but if you're the kind of person that does, and I know people that, I told you my one friend, Brian, he had COVID. Then he got the vaccine later, like after he's over it. And then he got Delta and had to be hospitalized. And then he's in the doctor's like, you know how rare this is? Is your friend in poor shape? No, now he's better. No, he might,

I think he has asthma though. But does he exercise? I don't know. He's not in like, I don't know his, but he doesn't smoke. Does he look healthy? Yeah.

That video you put out, I saw one where they put a filter on making you look more sick. MSNBC, CNN, they put a yellow filter on it. They more sick MSNBC CNN they put a yellow They made me look like I had jaundice really that's good reporting If it's okay, so I guess put around this maniac takes horse somebody said horse goo Yeah, that's why I got worse come from so

But then you got better like so basically their story is Horse dewormer is really effective You got better like so basically their story is Horsty warmer is really effective. Well cuz you're like way better. Well, I was good then right I was Literally testing negative two days after that so at that time Maybe they didn't think I was good like I saw some vice story that said I was unconvincing saying that I did I felt good It's like what how do I convincing I'm. I'm not coughing. That's an objective journalistic term. It's all bullshit because it's like they've decided that I'm against their ideology.

And their ideology is everyone must get vaccinated. You know, I don't think there's anything wrong with understanding all of the treatments that are available on top of being vaccinated. Even if you are vaccinated, you should probably seek out aggressive treatment if you get sick. I have friends that are vaccinated that immediately upon finding out they had COVID, because now I know 14 people who are vaccinated who also got COVID after they were vaccinated. But I have friends that immediately sought out the same kind of treatment that I did. They got on monoclonal antibodies. They got on a bunch of different things that I got onto. Some of them even got on ivermectin. It's like there's a whole frontline critical COVID care group on Twitter, and they detail all the randomized control studies that have been done on ivermectin and what and the fact that it has been used for

rna viruses throughout the history of its use it's over 40 years old it's been around forever and they this this drug has a long history of use on zika virus on dengue fever and yellow fever. It's not horse dewormer. It's for poor people, though. Yeah, well, I'll take poor drugs. I eat poor people food. Does Dr. Fauci say it's something? No, he doesn't. But it's also, and this is not a conspiracy theory,

it's a generic drug, meaning it's been around for so long, anyone can make it. Give me that. Pass me that. Booze? Oh. Look at that. He's looking to get liquored up. He's not talking shit about Fauci.

Vaccinate your pets and your goldfish. But the thing is, it's like what I said was not, hey, you don't need a vaccine. Just take this stuff. I did not say that. I don't need to know what you said. I read it. I saw a headline. All I said was what I took and that I felt great.

Is there any, and this is a real question, is there any news source that's, besides the Al Jazeera News Network, that's like legit where you really get good news? I would have said The Intercept back when Glenn Greenwald was with them. Everything's compromised, dude. I think everything's compromised. I think you have to go on Substack, and I think there's independent

video people that I follow that I know are like Jimmy Dore who's super legit. Matt Taibbi. But Jimmy I love but I just mean as a journalist. Matt Taibbi is literally as good as it gets as a journalist. Then you have The

Hill. I think they do a really good job rising that show Rising. the new people on it. And then the people that left, Crystal and Sagar, who now have their show Breaking Points, which is fantastic. What's that on? Yeah, I like that. It's on YouTube. Oh, it's on YouTube.

They're undeniable. They're undeniable. They are so honest and so legit, and there's never a slant, or they don't omit things because it doesn't align with their ideology. Also, she's very left-wing, he's right-wing, and the two of them complement each other perfectly. It's a good sitcom. Yeah, no, it's a good show.

It's a great show. It's a great show. It's a great show. L-O-L. Kyle Kalinske, he's another one. Completely trust him. There's people that are just honest people. He really punked out with Jimmy.

I was very gravely disappointed watching him do that, Kyle Kalinsky. What do you mean? That bullshit the Young Turks tried to do with Jimmy with uh, you don't remember that whole story? Kyle Kalinsky did? Yeah, but he was working with Young Turks at the time. What are you talking about? Kyle Kalinsky was never working with Young Turks. His channel had something to do with them at the

point when, you don't remember the whole Jimmy controversy with Anna Kasparian? Kyle Kalinskyinsky are you sure that kyle kalinsky had something to do with the young turks he's been independent i think the entire time he's been on youtube well i don't know i i was on the impression it was like he was part of something with them because of the way he was like deferring to it i don't know that he is now but um it was like real like i don't it like a real punk move. I thought how he handled it I don't know what you're talking about. What did he do so that so Jimmy that chick from the Young Turks that I'm better than

You Jake the I'm better than you check. Yeah, I'm anicus. Yeah, you know she says I'm better than you You never seen the famous clip her going. I'm better than you like no. I haven't seen that she stinks so So she the burper that's saying that. Well, whatever. I'll be at the Largo Theater in October. I've had nothing but good experiences with her. I should say I've had her on the podcast for, I've been on her show. Their show trashed me years ago.

I don't know. I'm sure they trashed me too. They were just jumping on it. They're heavily left wing. No, they've moved because they got money now. So they're moving center. You know, Cenk doesn't like unions and they're so left, but he's not into it. Are they center now?

Well, they just got a big cash influx from Katzenberg. Oh, really? Whatever that group is. I've read some of this stuff. I try not to pay attention. So they're moving. Yeah, right, because you want to be friends with people, right? But I don't know them.

I'll give it up. This guy, Josh Zepp, did defend me when Cenk was going in on me. Josh Zepp's from Australia? Yeah. He was like- He's great. Yeah. I like that guy.

So she lied about Aaron Maté, who's a very good reporter. Yes. Okay. I know. Okay. I do know about that. She said he's a Russian agent and all this nonsense because he reports on Syria. Okay.

So Jimmy's talking about it on his show and she sends him like a little blackmail thing. Like I have this story I've been sitting on. Oh, okay. I know what you're talking about now. You said nice sends him like a little blackmail thing like i have this story i've been sitting on okay i know what you're talking about you said nice new skirt to me years ago and it was a threat like if you're gonna stop talking so he just blew it up himself well she she said he had said something about her dressing inappropriately he made a joke about her dress right at their frat boy environment where they i mean imagine a man wearing his daisy dukes and hanging his balls out of it out of the side and a female makes a joke like hey nice news attire dude and you're

like oh my god i'm assaulted and the guy's the boss by the way right but on the other hand do you give a fuck if a girl wears a skirt and like has her legs showing at a but he didn't the whole point is she didn't do anything other than like joking yeah like it's look if somebody exposes themselves in front of a room of people it is uncomfortable to not as a comedian it's odd to be like not saying so he apologized to they were all friends like the message above the blackmail message is hey you're doing great. Great to see you. Right.

The whole point is all of this was to just distract from the Aaron Monte thing, which they've never taken back. Call him a Russian agent. Right. So that's a cheap, you're not supposed to use that stuff as a ploy. Right. Okay.

It's about the Syria thing. Yeah. Like a thing that didn't, you've been sitting on it just in case all these political people think that's the way you operate. You're like, Oh, I have this story I can use if I ever need it. Well, it's not just that it's on it just in case all these political people think that's the way you operate you're like No, I have this story. I can use if I ever need it Well, it's not just that it's putting it down in print and then the fact that he just went out and to set it Like this is what happened. Yeah, this is what I said, and then some people criticized him for

Kalinsky did slut-shaming. Oh he did. Yeah, see that's what I'm not aware of so what this is what I'm not aware of What did he say? He's like if I heard someone said that I punch him in the note just some dumb shit that he looked like he didn't want Oh, he did? Yeah. See, that's what I'm not aware of. So this is what I'm not aware of. What did he say? He was like, if I heard someone said that, I'd punch him in the nose. Just some dumb shit that he looked like he didn't want to say, by the way. But he has to because he has a relationship that he's got to pay fealty to first. That's what it looked like to me. Oh.

So there's a whole- I like Kyle a lot. But I'll still watch any of these shows. I don't have a thing where it's like Stern versus O and a feelings like people develop these opinions about things and then you know it's uh that's a weird one it's the whole thing is weird because it's weird to accuse someone of something like that just because they're criticizing you about what this person's a danger and you're not you you've been cool with them up until they call you out for a thing you did lie about. Yeah. Now suddenly you're like, oh, I'm bothered.

That's like real vile and like calculated, isn't it? Well, it's definitely like a card that you had. You're going to be in Laugh Boston on New Year's? Are you? I was trying to jump in. Are you really going to be there on New Year's? You ever do Laugh Boston? But it's August or September or something.

I know. That's so far from now. I was making a joke. No one know I was making a joke remember and I was making a funny joke. You try to show you trying to chime in I just thought like you guys know something. I don't know and I felt jealous. I want to jump I didn't know No, no, he's got all this. He knows a lot. I didn't know Kyle had anything to do with any of this stuff It just looked like all right You see you got a like not I like the way you get you can't help but say the thing do you know what i mean i hate that like diplomatic where i'm like like there's no way you think that jimmy should be punching the nose for there's no way you really think that you're saying because you have to suck up right right right i can't stand that like like i'd rather blow a relationship imagine if someone

was in a in a workplace environment and there was a girl with like a super, super short skirt and then you were like nice, appropriate workplace environment and then you walked up to that guy and gave him a concussion. Just punched him in the face. His nose explodes. Oh, what the fuck, man?

He falls down, bangs his head off the ground. Kyle wouldn't punch anybody. You can tell he's not a puncher in the nose guy. But that's a crazy thing to say. I got such a rough life. You know what it sounded like to me? It sounded like me as a kid in Jehovah's Witness Kingdom Hall saying the thing I know the adults want to hear. Like, well, that's very good, Kurt.

You said the thing. Like a thing that I know. That's what it came off like. Well, you've said this multiple times because you did grow up in a cult because you did grow up in jehovah's witnesses that you recognize this sort of behavior in a lot of this woke bullshit that it is just like a cult not just that i mean that's the obvious kind of thing but there's a there's a thing of uh don't harm the organization this is like across, not just religion or whatever, that don't harm the organization. Like maybe you know a fact, but if it harms the overall organization, we don't want to let that get out.

Right. And they all have that. So all like Young Turks turn on Julian Assange. You're like, I think he loves Trump. That's the kind of shit they say about the guy because he let those Hillary emails out. It's not that he told a lie. He didn't say she took horse dewormer or something They put out real factual information But they feel like it cost her in the election and you know you're supposed to hide the truth because our team might not win

Right and you're supposed to just think like that if you want to be part of the team Yeah, I've seen that video of the Young Turks watching the election. That's great It's one of the greatest things of all time. At the beginning, they are so fucking, Trump's going down. This is going to be fucking awesome. We're going to have our first woman president, Hillary Clinton. And then like halfway in, they're like, fuck. They filmed that and put it out?

It's amazing. It's a live coverage. Oh, it's live. It's live coverage. That was like the year that any idiot could have told you that she wasn't going to win. I don't know, man. In 2016, there's a lot of people thought that she was going to win.

A lot of people thought she was going to win. I mean, all of the news organizations were projecting that Hillary Clinton was going to win. Yeah, because they're completely out of touch with anything anyone thinks or feels. I agree. But still, the narrative was out there that she was going to win. Right. And then when you're in these thought bubbles, like Los Angeles, which is like, there's so many people in LA that are just completely subscribed to the Democratic Party.

Yeah, New York is like that. That's how New York was. No matter who, and that's just how you are. If you're a good person, you vote blue. And it's managed to sink the state. And if you look at the policies, because of this lack of competition of competition because this lack of diversity of thought like the the state is sunk the taxes are at an all-time high fuck you know somebody sent me this meme it's fucking hilarious i'm gonna send this to you jamie did you see this is california in an in a nutshell jamie i'm gonna

send this to you right now you see the thing that came out with Rose McGowan? I guess Gavin Newsom's wife called her and asked her, what does she want to not talk about Weinstein? Yes, what the fuck? Dude, what in the holy fuck? Oh, Rose McGowan's such a loose cannon. That's great. She's a wild lady.

That's the funniest thing is like she did, because she was in the beginning when she saw Me Too going back. She didn't hold back saying. Thank God California banned plastic straws and it's his homeless encampment this is fucking giant garbage dump it's so perfect that is so perfect for california i mean it's crazy and when that guy was mayor of san francisco he sucked too that's when i first heard of him was seeing how bad san francisco it got do you know the whole thing about his house no he was gifted a three and a half million dollar house right and as I mean It was like gifted to him as a part of an LLC that he became a part of oh

And then he took a mortgage on this house for like two plus million And so this is they laid they literally gave him millions of dollars Yeah And it's like somehow or another some very bizarre legal loophole where you're the governor of california and they can give you millions of dollars yeah right and then right in front of everybody's face they gift you a house yeah like no well you're definitely not obligated to do anything that you wouldn't do that's just for him as someone give the governor a house i don't have i've never heard that someone i recently house recently i paid

four hundred thousand dollars for a hunter biden painting so i understand sometimes you appreciate art dude there's this uh couple that's getting divorced and they have 600 million dollars worth of art it is the biggest single art collection that's ever going up for auction. And there's one painting that they have on the wall that is a 2007 painting by some person I've never heard of. I obviously don't know much about modern art in particular. And it's worth, I think, $40 to $60 million. That's it. That is $40, yeah, $40, $60 million.

It's a fucking splatter. You know what that looks like, Kyle? What? That looks like a good pussy's background. That does. Like some good mental. Yes. Look at this.

It says, Cy Twombie's untitled work from 2007 has an estimate of 40 to 60 million, courtesy of Sotheby's. What in the fuck are you talking about? Could you imagine? 40 to 60 million dollars is an insane house on a massive piece of land. Are they able to say what about that is good? This is like the original NFTs, guys. Come on.

But this is so crazy. For 40 to 60 million dollars, you should have a fucking insane house, a private jet, a Ferrari, a Mercedes, a crazy game room, full bar, movie theater. It's a good toilet. I would have just a shitty house and that painting. Nothing else would be nice and I'd just have that. I mean, fucking imagine. Just imagine that that's worth $60 million.

Please don't look at any of the other images. I just want to concentrate on the other one, Jimmy. I don't know what that is. That's Pinocchio. The other one is Pinocchio's head. They found Pinocchio's skeleton. Scroll down. Is that true? Look at that. I didn't know that was a guy. That's worth a billion dollars. That. That's Pinocchio. The other one is Pinocchio's head. They found Pinocchio's skeleton. Scroll down. Is that true?

Look at that. I didn't know that was a guy. That's worth a billion dollars. That's the actual Pinocchio. That's a fossil of Pinocchio. What is that? He's lying. Fuck.

He's lying about Marilyn Monroe and that. The whole thing is so insane. That painting is so insanely bad. Does anyone try to explain why it's good? Does anybody try to say? See, I can make that. I know. See, I cannot do the Mona Lisa. I know why it's good, because it to say I can make that I know I cannot

I know why it's good because it's a huge canvas that's it's all about how big the canvas is that doesn't make any sense there's no there's no sense to this there's zero sense to that being worth 40 to 60 million dollars I don't give a fuck who made it I don't give a fuck where he's from where he went to school who who he mentored under fuck you eat shit. That's not 40 million. I get saving worth 35 million, but I think that worth 3500 it's worth 3500 bucks Steve Martin would be able to tell you if it's good or not. Is he an art? That's his big thing Yeah, yeah, but this doesn't matter

This is only worth what people were willing to pay for it And I guess some people are willing to pay for it because this gentleman ty Twombie is Apparently a very famous artist which I get okay, that's fine, but there's no way I can do that guess some people are willing to pay for it because this gentleman ty twombie is uh apparently a very famous artist which i get okay that's fine but there's no way i can do that i mean absolutely i can make that this is a side 200 can make that and i'm not a good painter well you know did you ever see that you said documentary about the guy uh duplicating vermeer paintings yes i did i have like being a counterfeiter must be so easy now. Do you know the story about the lost Da Vinci? No, I saw a commercial, but I never saw it.

It's a crazy story. This painting was sold. Someone bought it from a fucking yard sale or something ridiculous like that, or a pawn shop for a ridiculously small amount of money, like $1,000 or something like that. for a ridiculously small amount of money, like $1,000 or something like that. And then they realized that there was layers of paint on top of this painting and that they sent it to this art restorer. And I don't understand the process of restoring truly ancient paintings.

But apparently it's a painstaking process that took, I want to say it took a decade. And during this decade, this person worked on it full time, every day, all day. And they took layer upon layer of this old paint off very, very slowly. Like an archaeologist. Yes, like an archaeologist. Turns out, they think it was initially a Leonardo da Vinci and that Leonardo da Vinci painted this this is the painting so this is show what it looked like so who painted over a Leonardo da Vinci find the original if you could find the original um they don't know but see this is the

other problem when they did a scan of the, they believe that there's multiple years and multiple layers of the painting. So they think that some of the painting might have been Leonardo da Vinci, but then some of the painting might have been someone else copying da Vinci or someone else painting on it at a later date. Whether it was da Vinci or not that did that, it's debatable. Well, look at the person. The painting is owned by some Saudi royal. And he paid, I think, $450 million. Oh, my gosh. I think it's like the most expensive painting of all time.

And now it's like sitting on his yacht somewhere. I mean, that does look like a multiple gender portrait of someone. They wanted to put it in the Louvre, but he wanted it to be next to Mona Lisa and say it was the male Mona Lisa. And they refused because they said it's under controversy. See if you can find the original Salvador Monday, the original, what it originally looked like. My mother filled my room with clown paintings of a child.

Why? I don't know. Is that the craziest thing about Albedo or Mundy original? She's trying to raise a clown. There was one painting where it was a clown reading the Wall Street Journal crying like it had bad stocks. Is that the original? No, in the lower left.

No, no, go back. Go back. Go back. Go back to where you were. Yeah, the left-hand side up top go click on that someone's selling it though that's a poster what have you spent a decade oh is that what but it looks like shit i know that's the these are google ads so had someone painted a beard on it and they just that's not what the original looked like i wouldn't imagine

so is that what the original looked like i'm'm just skipping. I skipped past that shit. Oh, okay. We'll go to images and see what the original painting... Oh, I think that's it right there. The one that's all scratched up and fucked up. There. I think that's what it originally looked like. Oh. Yeah. So

it took 10 years for this person to go over it and I don't know the process. I'm not exactly sure how the fuck they do it. Because if it's like scratched and there's paint missing and stuff, do they replace the paint? Who replaces the paint? How does that count?

Right, right. Is that the original? I don't know. It looks bad if they're trying to make it look like that. Because those are two different people i don't know i don't know that hand gesture what that is that's like i'm teaching you now hands out hey it's a motherfucker hey try this off that's a sammy the bulgar vano i think there's more than one salvador monday but but this this painting is super controversial and they don't know exactly

see it says leonardo da vinci they don't know exactly if leonardo da vinci actually even painted it they think he did or at least he painted some of it but you know it's hard how many other painters were there around the time of da vinci that were like just you know right like do they hang out in a circle and then somebody's like, oh, I'm going to paint over his. Well, maybe it's like Dave Attell, right? Yeah. Like, he's so funny that other people sound just like him.

This is how I do it. Yeah, we all try to. I'm going to paint like him. Right. You leave New York like this. Yeah. And then in LA, a bunch of people copied Norm MacDonald. Oh, really?

I saw. Well, I just, I didn't know this. There was like like because we do to tell we all tried to be like a tell me I remember first seeing him LA was like the Dane Cook squatting point I was like squatting point you know what I'm talking about and they like like there's a few of those guys it would dress like Dane they would wear similar baseball hats and similar clothes they would dress like it like a kid who just got off a baseball team.

And then sound effects. I was in New York first. When I got out of here, there was a lot of sound effects. I ate a hamburger. You really saw a lot of good Police Academy guy? Yeah. The next one. That guy was great. That guy had the best sound effects ever. You ever see him do

Hold Out of Love with just his mouth? No. What is his name again? Wait, what? What is his name? What's his name? The guy from Police Academy. Shit.

Michael Winslow. Michael Winslow. Yes, Michael Winslow. I think, safely say, greatest sound effects artist, comedian of all time. Dude, when I was a kid, that was a thing that every, you know, like movies, people, Police Academy 2. Go from the beginning. This is his voice.

Listen to this. That's the guy with him. What do you want to do? Legs up and then... You want to do the original artist key of E? Yeah. All right.

All right. Let's do it. Yeah. Tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh. That's his mouth. Really? Yeah. Yeah. It's amazing. It gets better, too. Look at that guy.

The face is perfect. I need it. He's got a pedal. Of course he's got a pedal. Look at that guy's neck! That's his mouth! Classic. We get it. We get it. Do you remember that guy? Amazing, right?

Yeah, that's incredible. Do you remember that guy, Rozelle, that beatbox guy? Yes. I did a comedy show when I started where he was like the opening. It was fucking crazy what he did. He would do like different instruments. I don't know how he was pulling it off. Beatboxing was a big deal for a while.

Like where dudes would slap their chest and have all kinds of weird sounds. Dude, he did stuff. I've never seen that though where somebody made that kind of guitar noise. But he's definitely using. What is he using, Jamie? You're an audio guy. He had a guitar pedal. Like just the same thing you'd have for a guitar for distortion.

And you just do distortion for sound? That's what distortion was, yeah. And so he can adjust the distortion with the pedal? If was doing a wah-wah pedal yeah that's what that's for but yeah he just had to click on click off stompbox oh pretty amazing amazing shit those all kinds of comedy but yeah but that's the point about the salvador monday like maybe it was a guy who just copied leonardo da vinci like that guy who was the counterfeiter who would mirror guy? Yeah, would make not just for me. I mean there was one guy who would do all sorts of like he did a Picasso He did like multiple different great artists. Yeah, can't tell it

Yeah, but it's fucking so it's such a weird like the whole art thing is such a bizarre status thing I was at an agent's house once in an Aspen's amazing house and I was over this guy's house like wow this house is crazy like how much the agents make us all those things like shady robbing people yeah and I'm in his house and I see this thing that's framed it's like this big it's like tissue paper and like color and I go I goes it's like something's kid made and he goes no that's a blah blah that's thirty thousand dollars I remember going what the fuck are you talking about is that it dude you know a buddy of mine is uh similar a lot of these guys I can do that my 11 year old

can fuck that up she can do so much better than that to my friends and artists who started out you know a lot of them saw his graffiti people Written like in New York like Bosque out was one of those a graffiti people that became oh, yeah My buddies I didn't realize how much his stuff went for Like he offered me a painting and I was like I just wanted one and I was like I think it's worth like 30 grand when I looked up I Couldn't believe it 30 grand. I don't get the pricing. He's a good artist. I mean, he's a really good artist, but I was shocked

at what the art world... Look at this one, Jamie, that I just sent you. And tell me how much you think this one's worth. Let's play. How much is it worth? Let's see if Kurt and I can see who's better at guessing. Just take a wild guess. Okay, I'm gonna... That's very

good underboob drawing there and some good hip action. I don't say it's worth a lot. That looks like an art school sketch pad from an art institute where I went to school. $10 million.

How much do you think it's worth, Kurt? I don't, that looks like somebody's sketched me from, I don't think a lot. I think like $30.

$30? $10 million. $10 million. My 11-year-old made that. Oh, I'll give you $30. I would pay $10 million. $10 million. My 11-year-old made that. Oh, I'll give you $30. I would pay $10 million for that. So this is how crazy it is. You know how crazy it is?

That's very good. She's very talented. No, it is good. And that's an 11-year-old girl who drew that off the top of her head. But that's not splotches on a thing. That's why I knew it wasn't going to be worth a lot of money. But it's still, even like that kind of sketch with the right artist is probably worth a preposterous amount of money.

Wait, how old is she? She's 11. She might have been 10 when she made that. She's really talented. I don't like how Kurt said that. Imagine that you like that splatter. Show that other image before, which is probably worth

like 50 million bucks. How much is that worth? Sotheby's. How much is that worth? Please tell me. This fucking guy. Is that Ty Tw Sotheby's. How much is that worth? Please tell me. I know what that was. This fucking guy. Is that Ty Twombly? He's dead.

I was trying to find his other stuff. Oh, he's dead. That's why. Ty's dead. What's that, $20 million in that scribble? Oh, it's Cy. C-Y. Cy Twombly.

Look what he wrote. Imagine making a living doing that. You go, my husband's an amazing artist. You go, oh, wow, that's cool. I bet you his name has a lot. amazing artist you know right wow that's cool i bet you his name has a lot because first of all that's a very good name cy twombly that just seems like a catchy art name this has been explained to me by friends that are artists this is what happens when you bring your stuff to a gallery and then a big time collector buys it someone

who comes in and goes, I want this. It's amazing. And this is this incredible new artist. His name is Cy Twombly. He's incredible. And then this one person who's in the know decides that it's good. And then other people start buying your stuff too. And then it becomes more valuable because you only have so many pieces.

And if they're big pieces like big huge pieces Yeah, even though it looks like dog shit. It's worth even more. Yeah It's like that's why that piece is worth 40 to 60 million dollars It's just it spawned a lot of people in LA to be are probably other places too Or I know a couple of artists, but they have no train They do scribble like that, but they're not gonna be able you never know well i guess imagine what's their name do they have a cool name like i don't want to say because that's like no no what the fuck is that like it's a side twombly oh it must be like a bit immediately if it's a kurt medsker people are gonna go it's

not yeah it doesn't have the same right side twombly is an amazing scribble name it's not a bad scribble name yeah but it's like that stuff's not good like objectively it's gotta be the last thing you buy with all your money i mean you would think once you have your stuff then you go i have so much money left there's people that are like these hedge fund fucks that are worth just billions and billions of dollars of nonsense money they're moving money around and they're making money and don't they have like a place some airport where it's all where they stack it yeah it was in that movie um you know what's the time travel movie that born america is in tenant they rob they rob that vault where they keep really expensive kind of paintings like saudi princes keep so nobody sees them they're just in in this vault. I guess it has some airport

But in tenet, I think that was a real place. They were where rich people keep their art Well, I imagine you have to keep everything like climate control Yes, right because you can't let get because it's canvas is actually cloth right? So if it gets too moist it could have fungus can grow on and i would imagine you said one guy had it on his yacht yes earlier that seems but that's a saudi royal i'm sure his yacht is fucking insane and probably all like environmentally controlled of course yeah i mean if he's putting that 450 million dollar painting on his yacht i'm sure he's got his fucking i mean like let's find out what his yacht looks like like his yacht is probably worth a billion dollars I mean it's probably an island when you're dealing with these Royals especially the oil family Royals they have trillions of

dollars today's idea Bezos is the richest guy in the world not a chance because he's the richest public guy in the world these guys aren't public oh yeah these oil oligarchs Like they don't have to tell They don't say what they have They don't have to tell They own countries Where's the biggest skyscraper? Dubai

Okay So you know that they have They don't have like a sewage system So they have these trucks That have to carry all the shit Out of those buildings What? Yeah there's a line of trucks

Carrying the sewage out Come on There's no need for a skyscraper in Dubai The reason you have skyscrapers Is because there's no more space around so you build up. They don't have sewage? For that building, that big one? There's a line of trucks

that take... Saudi Prince's yacht and the half a billion dollar painting. Look at him. That is also the guy that was accused of killing Jamal Khashoggi. Seems cool. He's also building a future city on some part of Saudi Arabia that That's like underground look at that yacht son

Yeah, that's that's a mansion. No not even a mansion like multiple mansions on the water the hotel Yeah, it's a giant hotel. Well, maybe if Jamal Khashoggi was cooler. He could have hung out on that boat instead of What is that how much is that yacht worth does it say uh it's a super yacht oh yeah you only got a regular yacht bro no they sold everything together it looks like at least according to that what's that that that yacht had the salvador monday painting in it what no he bought it from christie's what are you saying no that's where he held his that's where he has it once Christie's. What are you saying? No, that's where he held his painting. That's where he has it.

Once hanging in the Super Yacht. Yeah, so it said he sold it with that. Hang on the wall, though. That's crazy. In the sea air? What are you saying? He sold it with it? That's what I thought I was reading here.

No, no, no, no. It was auctioned at Christie's. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, the painting was. No, the painting was auctioned at Christie's for $450 million. The yacht is where he keeps it, but the yacht is a completely separate thing. If a yacht came with that painting, that's pretty good. But I think the yacht is probably cheaper than the painting.

Look at that, $330 million. That's hilarious. The yacht is worth less than the fucking painting. Wait, look, Bill Gates leases it for $5 million a week. Wow. Once, yeah. Wow. Boy, yeah. Wow. Boy, that Epstein loss really hit him hard, right?

I don't know what I would do. If I had all that money, I wonder what I would do with my time. Because I feel like a lot of what I do, I'm motivated to get more money. I mean, I do what I'm doing, but. Bill Gates leased it for $5 million a week. I'm doing but bill gates leased it for five million a week imagine you're paying twenty million dollars a month Just to lease a boat. That's it's not a good investment either Like it's like the dumbest thing it comes with horse. I mean of course right goes

Eventually whores are complimentary like at a casino when you write a lot of money like like yeah Yes, but I mean that kind of money. I mean what does it come with? What do you get for? 20 million dollars a month people who will never tell your dirty secrets of the shit you do on that I'm amazed at how many dirty secrets they tell about gates. I was like with all the money that he has yeah I I don't know it's during his divorce Like during his divorce? Oh, yeah, right. They're saying he was trying to bang people at work. Can you imagine getting hit on by Bill Gates, what that would be like?

It's so strange. What about you getting hit on by Bill Gates, this little tiny guy trying to fuck you? I could not in good conscience turn down Bill Gates. Would you let him fuck you? Bill Gates? Yeah. I mean, what do I get out of it?

Microsoft Windows for life. I don't think I could turn that down. No. For life? For life. That's a very good value. Do you even use Windows? No, but I might want to.

It's good to have access to all the vaccines in advance. You can try them. You can be part of the trial. You can try out whatever vaccine you want. Come on, bro. Well, because you see Bill Gates, like, I guess he tried to downplay his hanging out with Epstein. But Melinda Gates blew that shit up. Did she blew it up?

Well, supposedly when he was getting divorced, that's his refuge is to go hang out with Epstein. Oh, during the divorce. That's what he did. Yeah, that was his. But I thought he didn't get... I thought she filed once like the reality of his relationship with Epstein came out. I think that's what happened. Is that true?

I'm pretty sure that's what happened. Based on that? Yes. You know, I'm sure a bunch of people... I don't know if it's based on that, but it's in that same timeline. I'm sure a bunch of people hung out with Epstein and were into of-age hookers, you know? a bunch of people hung out. I don't know if it's based on that, but it's in that same timeline. I'm sure a bunch of people hung out with Epstein and were into of age hookers, you know? Oh, yeah, for sure. Oh, well, not just that. They were also interested in hanging out with all the people that were hanging out with Epstein.

Yeah, he's a vector for a lot of connections. Well, he's like brilliant scientists and then also heads of state and also former presidents and then also celebrities. Oh. Like it was a very strange crew that he put together. Like you can't necessarily say until he got arrested, you can't say that all those people knew what was going on. Like who knows what they knew. Yeah, right. They could have been invited to a party, you know, with this scientist and that scientist and this professor.

And they were. And they were. It turns out. yeah yeah but like why did they go did i mean the idea is like did they all go because they wanted to have sex with 17 year old girls or did they all go because they wanted to be around all these brilliant people and have this party i'm sure it starts out being around these brilliant people and then you loosen up and then you have sex. You get a couple of glasses of Buffalo Trace and the next thing you know you're like how old is she really? What states is that legal in? Dude you know the I love that

the classic Alex Jones video where he goes to Bohemian Grove. With John Ronson. Oh that's right yeah so that's where like the George H.W. Bushes have to go to do coke and fuck whores. They have to be in like a robe ceremony because they know no one will tell. Well, even weirder than that.

Yeah. The way Nixon described it. Pull up a quote, Nixon's quote on Bohemian Grove. Nixon said it was like all a lot of gay stuff. Like these guys were doing a bunch of gay stuff. Like out in the open in front of everybody. Wasn't that he was famous for not fucking around like that? No, he was not into that.

He didn't like it. He was like, he was a very fucking buttoned up, very repressed guy. But then if you're a boomer, like Clinton, like they go to Epstein. So the older, the old folks go to the Bohemian Grove and the boomers go to Epstein Island. And like, you don't understand our. Old folks go to the Bohemian Grove and the boomers go to Epstein Island. And like, you don't understand our. I had this explained to me by a brilliant person who is one of the smartest people I know. And the way he described it to me, he said, there are people that have achieved an immense level of financial success and public success.

And they have no way to acquire the experiences that they desire. That's true. And that's where a person like Epstein would come in. It's not like poor people, you could just fuck whores and do coke wherever the fuck you want. You have to be in a group of other guys like you that have as much to lose as you. If you're Bill Clinton, who are you going to bang? You know he wants to bang people. So who's he banging?

He's got to bang someone he really trusts. They have to really be able to keep their mouth shut. Or he has to know a guy who knows people that can keep their mouth shut or he has to know a guy who knows people that can keep their mouth shut. I'll probably play the video of him. Sure, sure, sure. Homosexuality, dope, immorally, generally. Let's hear what he says.

Jamie. Oh, this is... We're not going to hear this. Let's just look, let's just read it. This audio is impossible. So it says homosexuality, dope, immorality, general. Those are the enemies of strong societies, Nixon said. The upper class of San Francisco is that way. It's not just the ratty part of town. The upper class of San Francisco is that way.

It's not just the ratty part of town. The upper class of San Francisco is that way. The Bohemian Grove, which I attend from time to time, is the most faggy goddamn thing you could ever imagine with that San Francisco crowd. I don't even want to shake hands with anybody from San Francisco. Decorators, they've got to do something. But goddamn, we don't have to glorify. He taped that himself?

No, no, no. Somebody recorded it. Oh, I thought he wanted to tape everything you said. No, no, no, no. I don't think so. I don't think so. Is this from the classic Nixon tapes or is this something else? I don't know.

Because the Nixon tapes, as far as I know, I thought he was the guy that was like, this is history. No, you're right. Look, the origin is a 1971 Nixon tape, as far as I know, I thought he was the guy that was like, this is history. No, you're right. Look, the origin is a 1971 Nixon tape, but it sounds so bad. That's what's so baffling about the Nixon tapes. No, no, no, but I mean, it's so bad quality. Oh, right. You barely can understand what the fuck he was saying. Well, it's 1970.

I thought it was recorded secretly. Dude, there's a quote where he's talking about Donald Rumsfeld that I heard. There's a play on like I Miss His Show. And it's him trashing Donald Rumsfeld. He's a wormy little cocksucker, isn't he? It's something like that. I can't find it. I tried to find it online.

But Nixon's trashing him to somebody. It's kind of crazy. If you imagine becoming that like public. Here it goes. President Nixon and Bob Halderman discussed Donald Rumsfeld. Maybe that's what it is. And I'm remembering it better than it is. A ruthless little bastard.

Oh, that's not bad. Not bad at all. That sounds like he's impressed with him. Yeah. Well, it's accurate, too. But it's like, if you become- Especially, you've got to imagine when Clinton was on the come up, right? He's the governor of Arkansas in the 80s or whatever it was,

and then he becomes president in the 90s Like there was no internet, right? So you're doing wild shit and people just covering everything up You're trying to bang state troopers and you're pulling your dick out in meetings and you're like, hey Yeah rock star yeah that all rock star thing is the basis of a lot of anger now Right. Is that like everybody worships me and just throws pussy at me and right that's what i get well the jfk jfk was famous for being this rabid pussy monger did you ever watch uh the gore vidal documentary which one united states of amnesia no i did not and he talks about having a picture of get jfk that he keeps to never be fooled again

by a smooth talking no gore vidal talking about jfk picture it's just a picture of jfk oh because jfk was like another kind of obama guy where it's like a smooth young guy and and united states amnesia is great because gordon val saying stuff that applies now a hundred percent because everybody forgets the stuff that just happened you know it's a good it's a good title for it But uh, it's really interesting like he it's so bizarre to hear him talk about stuff from the 60s that now you like wow He really called it in a lot of ways Did you ever see that documentary? with Gore Vidal and

Willie yes, William Yeah battle of in the closet versus not in the closet. Is that what it is? I think so. You think William F. Buckley was in the closet? I mean, just watching him, I think he is, but Chris Hitchens said a thing about how William F. Buckley, he kind of hinted at it slyly because he was like,

you know, we would do things, and I'd be like, hey, you want to get a drink? And he always seemed like he had to go off to do another thing, like running away from how he's gay. Oh, interesting impression he gives off is two two queens going at each other that's hilarious to me well the documentary is amazing what is it called again something about enemies best of enemies is that what it is jamie didn't know what it was it's a great documentary and i didn't know that gore vidal lived in the amalfi coast which is pretty fucking incredible yeah he had a fucking house in Ravello in Italy.

It's one of the most amazing places ever. My family, before the pandemic, we used to go there every year. It's incredible. Amalfi Coast is fucking stunning. He knew stuff about FDL? Best of Enemies. Yeah, that's it. It's really incredible.

So this is like debates that they aired on television during the 60s. And, you know, I mean, you could never have this today. Right. Because it's two men, 10 debates. It says television would never be the same. It's an amazing documentary. But that kind of shit you can only find on podcasts now. Like you would never have that level of discourse.

You could cut the sexual tension with a knife. Frost versus Nixon. Or a dildo. Same thing. What is Frost versus Nixon? Oh, that's the famous... It's the Nixon and... The same time, it was like three days of debates.

Or it was an interview. It was an interview. A three-day interview, which they would never do. By a guy who was like the Chris Hardwick of his day, who cracked Nixon. Where Nixon goes, if the president does it, it's not a crime. That famous thing that kind of sunk him.

Really? Interesting. Yeah. Today, I mean, like look at what Biden did going through running for president. Like they literally hid him. Like he never did any long form interviews. Never did any long form discussions. The corn pop one went bad

that was the last one that was the last one they let him go the fact that he did that he has this hairy legs can't choose to rub my legs and like what how did he become president like how does how is this a real thing because anything but Trump what I like is because that's where like me too kind of went down the tubes was especially was with tara reed accusing him and like nobody everybody like didn't believe her except i guess me and kamala harris kamala harris like yeah i believe her and then she bravely put aside her fears to become vice president yeah yeah but she does believe he did that that's what she said so so, I mean, he looks like he doesn't remember anything that he did.

He probably doesn't. I mean, you know, he's had like major brain surgery. He had brain surgery? No, I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. I didn't know that. No, he's had major brain surgery. Literally, they take the top of your head off.

They take the top of your skull off. Well, that's how you get into your brain otherwise. But he had like serious aneurysms. He had multiple serious aneurysms. He had multiple serious aneurysms. Oh, I've never heard that. Yeah. No, he's had surgery in his brain. Pull up Joe Biden brain surgery.

President Biden. They scooped it, man. They scooped the top, man. That's the thing. He served several terms as Senator. Senator Delaware is during this time as a senator, he required surgery for not one, but two brain aneurysms. The first aneurysm had ruptured, putting him in a life or death situation. Doctors saved his life and the recovery from his brain surgeries is simply astonishing.

His ability to succeed at the highest levels. Oh, shut the fuck up. Is this from his website? What the fuck is that? At the time, at that time as a senator, he didn't seem as... I remember him always being thought of as a goofball. Yes.

But not like now. Now it's different. Obama had a quote. Yeah, right. Never underestimate Joe Biden's ability to fuck things up. They called him Uncle... Obama would be like,

oh, Uncle Joe just says things. That was how they pitched him. He does seem like he changed though because he used to do that like, come on, man. But now it's just a lot of, like, come on, man. They coach him. They coach him. They tell him, you know, like, he's like, well, I'm not supposed to talk to anybody.

Remember, they go, well, I'll take a few questions here. I'm not supposed to, but I'll take a few. What about Afghanistan? Bye. I'm not supposed to. Bye. He sleeps. The president said, I'm not supposed to.

And then that Jen Psaki lady just gets more and more bitter and more aggressive. What a terrible job to have. A terrible job. Everybody that has that job. She's under so much pressure. Yeah. You got to just sit there and basically lie to the press. Well, not only that, you're constantly in conflict with these people that are throwing

these questions at you. And she's developed this confrontational tone, which is like the worst. They all end up with that. How do you not? Because it becomes very personal. Will she be on Dancing with the Stars when this is on? Like Spicer? Like Sean Spicer? He's got like a foolish... Who's that guy?

It's almost like usually, please, I'm a person. I'm just a person. I'm just a regular person. Please leave me alone. It's a job. It's just a job. I didn't want person Please leave me alone It's a job It's just a job I didn't want the job They made me take the job Did you ever see The Madness of King George?

No It's good It's about King George I think they think He had pyphoria Or something Where your pee turns blue And you're

You're p-turned blue? Yeah So he went crazy And then went back to normal Historically Allegedly It's like Joe Biden Got better from an aneurysm. Or Reagan.

Supposedly Reagan was senile the whole second term. That makes sense. Yeah, there was a story about it. Right when he got out of office, his wife tells a story about he came home from, he would go to an office and not really do work, but he came back with his hand wet. And she's like, what is that? And he had this little White House from the fish tank. And he goes, this has something to do with me. He would. is that? And he had this little White House from the fish tank. And he goes, this has something to do with me.

Which was like, what, White House from the fish tank? So he reached in and grabbed the little fake White House from the fish tank? Came home and showed his wife and said, this has something to do with me. And it was not that long after he did. Wait, where did you hear that? That's a crazy story. I heard it from the same place about that disease that makes you friendly. No, it was from, I think it was, I don't know, information.

That's hilarious. He's holding a White House fish tank bauble. Oh, my God. I think this is something to do with me. We just have something to do. Okay, sit down. It's interesting because during his first term like like he said he was like very lucid and you know he said some pretty interesting shit like he said some quotes that to

this day like people still pull up you know like he had terrifying things is uh you're you know what can your government do for you you know like the government needs to get the fuck out of your way and and then the one speech that he gave in front of the United Nations, which is like all the UFO conspiracy theory people always pull up, it's Reagan talking in front of the United Nations about how quickly we would put aside our differences if we were faced with a threat. Oh, yeah, that's true.

Watchmen had that. That was the Watchmen. Yes, that's right. That was based on his. That's right. Which I just watched again recently. It was fucking amazing. The movie, yeah. Yeah, that's right. I like that movie.- That was based on an enemy. Which I just watched again recently. It was fucking amazing. The movie, yeah.

Yeah, that's right. I like that movie. It's a great movie. It's a great movie. Don't you want Biden in part, like somewhere inside a sea with a second term just to see what happens? Oh, hell yeah.

Just curious. I'm all in. What's going in there? I'm all in on the fucking chaos. I feel like the only way people are going to really, truly understand how fucked up things have gotten is if there's consequences and Right now I don't feel like there's like real legitimate consequences for how bad the the administration is

What's the price just wanted anybody but Trump? Yeah, and you know and now you've got this madness You've got full-on madness and then the Afghanistan situation and then what's going on with china and it's the ev credit is so dumb what credit electric vehicle credit is such a scam i mean these are it's like a huge amount of money going to electric vehicles you know you get a discount but they've knocked out tesla because they don't have unions it's all just like a union thing and they're giving four thousand five discount if you have a union that's why he didn't invite tesla to the white house because he wanted he was going around uh that and it's just such a scam i'm torn on that do tesla employees say they should have that's what

i'm doing really well that's the thing it's like that's why they don't unit they're having unionized because i'm not like for inherently for i guess but it seems like if a union has to form it's because the company fucked up right i'm torn on it because i think unions are very important in certain situations but i also think wouldn't it be great if you didn't have you give your dues to anybody and the company just treated you really well and i think one of the things that was highlighted about tesla because someone fucked up and said something stupid about uh calling him a modern day robber baron and he because of how much money he makes off of the stock. And they said,

you don't understand that all Tesla employees are compensated with stock. So you're a modern-day moron. So they have a stake in the actual... Yes, exactly. And so when Biden's hurting the stock, I'd say it's crashed because of this. And it's like, he actually is hurting employees.

Doesn't he just go back up then? It'll go back up. It's so good there's a ghost down have why it do you have a Tesla no but Kyle does the greatest car ever great I always raise amazing it's an amazing car no ads that's nothing but on TV like they knock Tesla so hard and unnecessarily and they're you know Ford and GM are there they need for Jim to survive and they're gonna go bankrupt I think I don't know no no to survive. And they're going to go bankrupt, I think. No, no, no, no. They're not going to go bankrupt. They'll get bailed out.

No, they're going to have great, they have great cars too. Look, GM has fucking amazing cars. I just drove a Cadillac this weekend. We rented it. They're incredible. You don't think that electric vehicles are going to take over? They're going to have electric cars too. Yeah, but they're going to have electric cars too.

But they didn't transition like when they should have. No, they're behind in AI. In AI, they're far behind. Tesla's self-driving AI is the most amazing thing. But Porsche has arguably a superior electric car. But it's just that one. The Porsche Taycan, it doesn't matter. It's incredible.

If you talk to guys like Matt Farah from The Smoking Tire, who's like a legitimate car expert, he said it's like literally one of the greatest cars he's ever driven in his life. He said the Porsche Taycan is insanely good. The acceleration mirrors like the Tesla acceleration, except the new one, the Tesla

Plaid is just off the charts fast. It's way faster. I don't like that acceleration one bit. Why do you hate acceleration? Do you hate fun? No, you know what it is? It's not noisy because he has a Tesla. It's like there's no... I it just accelerates I love it yeah I love it and you

know he doesn't give him away either I bought mine full price everybody pays full price including him oh that's good yeah like people say yeah you said that because he gave you one nope he gives away his patents too which open source patents yes mean, he's really trying to help. And I just, I hate when they- You can't be without criticism when you're that big. He's too big. Wasn't Hyperloop not a good idea that was never going to work? I don't know. They have it in Vegas.

Or not, it's on a Hyperloop. The Hyperloop is not the tunnel, right? That's the boring company, right? It's different. What's the Hyperloop? Is the Hyperloop the tunnel? I thought that was a tunnel that didn't get made. I think he has enough companies. Is that the Hyperloop? Is the Hyperloop the tunnel? I thought that was a tunnel that didn't get made I think he has enough companies.

Is that the Hyperloop? Here's what I thought like the criticism of him is he promises like the world and is like, well, it's not going to be that fast that we're,

you know. What are you talking about? His car goes 1.9 seconds 0 to 60. It's insane how fast it is. I'm not saying what I think. Like, I'm like,

well, he made this car that's a clearly good car, but that's the criticism I would hear about it. Have you seen the the latest uh ai driving demonstration it's amazing it pauses it it recognizes obstacles in the road it takes turns no one's touching the steering wheel at all and that dojo keeps getting better

it keeps getting better it's fucking incredible that you that ubi that andrew yang used to talk about that i was like i don't know if that could work. I think that all these guys know the future as robots do everything, and that's the pittance that is going to be left over. And I think of it like an old man where I'm like, we can't just give people income, but they know what's coming. The dojo computer that they're going to,

they just had an AI day, and it's just going to be so amazing. The dojo computer? Yeah, they just had an AI day and it's just gonna be so amazing. The Dojo computer? Is that? Yeah, they call it Dojo. That's their computer that learns constantly based on the input that it gets from the AI from driving. Yeah, yeah, the neural network.

And so once that's up and running, I mean, self-driving will be solved probably really quickly after that. Do you guys smoke cigars? Well, do you still have those blunts? I got those too. Yeah, let's do it. You want a blunt or you want a cigar? I want a blunt because I don't know how to smoke a cigar. I want a cigar.

You want a cigar? Yeah. I got a joint right here so we don't have to go anywhere. I got a joint? Plus also, and I'll stop talking about this, but they also investigate every car crash and they talk about fires where there's so many more fires with combustion engines.

They're trying to trash it. I don't like it. I don't like it. Here's what I imagine. I imagine Kyle's house. Kyle, you like cigars? Yeah. I imagine Kyle's house sliding down the hill that it's on.

My house is about to slide down a hill. His house is going to slide down a hill, and then his car is going to be plugged into the house and slide down with the house. All right. Ooh, look at this. I feel really cool right now. I just think that people are hypercritical

and I think what that guy's done is nothing short of amazing. I mean, without him, electric cars would be a decade behind.

Yeah. And no advertising. It's just, the car's that good, he doesn't need to do advertising. And I can say personally, I know the man. I've hung out with him. He's a really genuinely nice guy. Like a genuinely

interesting, fascinating human being who's nice. He might be the greatest go down like years later. Once we get like going to Mars, he's going to be the guy. If he ends up keeping his pee in jars, we'll know he was a great man. if he ends up keeping his pee in jars will know he was a great man What's wrong with keeping your pee in jars? I got a whole bucket it out back really first What do you mean about keeping the pee in you know Howard Hughes made it? Oh did he keep his pee in a jar?

That's like what he's faint. He innovated for the end whoa Jamie just wants to turn us into a disco. I was looking at the hyperlinks do it Jamie So the hyperloop is the train. I thought that fell apart because it wasn't possible. It's multiple companies. That's not just him. 570 miles an hour. What's to stop someone from just laying rocks in front of the train?

That would make me nervous. I don't know. Is there a way they can detect the rocks? Did you ever take that bullet train in China? It's enclosed? Oh, tube. No, I've only been to Taiwan. I've never been to China.

Where's the bullet train to Vegas from? I don't acknowledge it. That just makes so much sense. It's flat the whole way. What's the problem? Traffic every weekend. Right. It's true, right?

I don't know what's going on. Probably 570 miles an hour is the same as the flight. The flight's 40 minutes. Well, how many homeless people can you fit on it to ship out of Vegas into LA? That's the question. That is the question. You know, someone was explaining to me what's going on at the border. Yeah.

And I was like, there's no way this is real. Like, the people, when they come in, illegals, they get processed. Like, there's no way this is real. Like, the people, when they come in, illegals, they get processed. And then they just send them on buses to various parts of the country. Like, they don't send them back across the border. I'm like, wait a minute. Who told you that?

I don't want to say anybody's name. But is this true? Like, what happens when illegals... Oh, we're going to find out. I mean, I'm saying, I'm saying sort of rhetorically. Is that true? Would you be shocked if when illegal aliens cross the border from Mexico that they just put them on buses

and send them around the country? There's a whole upper class of people that depend on that labor. People that they can... It's not just that. It can't be true. It's too many people. It's also the lack of voter ID.

They don't want you to have voter ID. Why would you need ID to vote? Because those are the people that let you in. Those are the people that you're going to vote for. And if you're an illegal immigrant, like almost, unless you're coming from Cuba, which they oftentimes vote Republican, they almost always vote Democrat. Like you're literally from cuba which they oftentimes vote republican they almost always vote democrat

like you're literally bringing in voters like tammany hall like yeah even though they're not u.s citizens if there's no voter id it's it gets slippery like what does that mean let me ask you why can't the government i don't know why i'm asking like you know but what like okay voter id is a problem why doesn't every state have to provide you with an ID to vote because you only need an ID to get a vaccination or to use your Know that vaccination to get into a right you don't need it for voting because it's racist Well together I get the game right back the game of who's gonna vote for me But I just like it seems like an easy. I didn't understand

Why they couldn't just go to companies and be like okay who's here legally rather than worry about like because then people would lie well i saw one time an interview with a guy and i it was somewhere in arizona and they did do that they were like we'll just go to companies and like let's see who's legal and the town asked them to stop because it was fucking up the economy. Well, you ever see that documentary, A Day With No Mexicans? Yeah, we need them to keep- What?

It's a LA documentary. It shows you how everything was shut down. I don't know if you know- I believe that. America- Very hard working. Our urban life empire will fall apart within five minutes if we do not have illegal immigrants.

Oh, well, certainly Los Angeles would. Oh, yeah. Los Angeles, the backbone is Mexican immigrants. Yeah. Yeah. Very Mexican immigrants. Yeah. Very hardworking. I can't remember how lazy. I mean, it's a sign of what we're talking about before. Things are going very well financially for this country.

Yeah. For people to be able to have all this free time. Well, also, the fucking, this bizarre, the myth of the lazy Mexican. It's like the worst stereotype of all time. I've heard of that, but I've never seen it. And I've never seen anybody in practice. Like I've heard somebody say that as like an old timey insult. It was an old timey insult.

Everybody I know. Okay, yeah. Now it's totally the opposite, I think. Yeah, well, it's absolutely the opposite. I think yeah, but it's absolutely the Fuck I've heard of the seven jobs Mexican There are hustlers. I mean they come over here because they want a better life and once they get here They're fucking pumped. They're ready to go any Home Depot It's like that's such a fucking hard thing to do you go there, and you're waiting to try to do some really tough job

Yeah, I mean someone's gonna be a shit did you ever do construction yeah yeah what'd you do i mean i did everything my dad was an architect so i did a lot of labor i did uh you know carpenters that's the ultimate 90s romantic comedy job an architect oh that's true that's like a jennifer heston movie i need to meet an architect that was like What your dream was Yeah so I was always around Construction sites That's where I did All my summer jobs

When I was in high school I worked construction Dude I did sheetrock And um I did that Some roofing Not a lot I did a lot of insulation

In the summer It was fucking ruthless But I worked for Ooh yeah Fibers in your fucking skin When you sweat I worked for a guy In South Jersey

It wasn't union It was his private you know unions a much better I thought you'd shop but private it was so it would be me I was at Art Institute at the time and then a guy that worked at the gas station usually who had a metal plate in his head and the dude behind me is it yeah and the two of them like a college get this bucket I went to the art institute for two years it's not a that's not a good like call you know why'd the guy have a plate in his head who the fuck knows it wasn't from nam he just wanted it in there like car no it's just like dude you know what south jersey is like the level of like gloucester township yeah south jersey is

basically kentucky it's like White Camden. Yeah. It's the woods. It's like there's all bears down there, like near Rutgers. Oh, really? Filled with bears. There's more black bears per capita in the state of New Jersey than any other state in the country. Yeah.

They're overrun. And then most recently, the governor who took over after Christie campaigned. It's one of his campaign promises was to stop the bear hunts because people were hunting bears. Really? Yeah. He wanted to stop the bear hunts. But the problem is it's not, from a biological, wildlife biology management perspective, it's

not smart because there's no threat to the bear population. So the bear population's exploded since this dipshit has been the governor. Yeah, that's the same with deer. People don't know that deer, there's actually a hunting season that you want it because you don't want them on the highway. If you don't have that, then you have to hire snipers

and then people come in and whack them. I hit a deer. I would have died if I was in a smaller car. I was luckily in a big fucking car with a huge deer. Did you ever hear that? Connecticut, it's so dangerous. I'm in New Jersey, it's like at night. At nighttime, at nighttime you're like in midair when you see them yeah I was coming home once from a gig that I did in upstate New York and I was living in

New York and I was coming down I forget what what road it is like some two-way not two-lane highway and I had to drive like 30 miles an hour because there's so many fucking deer they would just jump it was in the summer time yeah they'll freeze right in front of you they'll just run right in front of your car man they they don't understand what it is they're either built for hitting cars like they'd stop when they see their whole bodies because they'll be alive something get up and go sometimes they'll die they die yeah afterwards this guy this big deer got up i i felt bad because i know it was gonna go die somewhere else. Big Lexus totaled.

Oh, really? I was fine. Good for you. Look at you. Pretty proud of myself about that. I think I look ridiculous smoking this, but I don't care. You don't. You look good.

Really? You look like a magnate. All right. I'll take that. Guy owns a business. You should try to get it. I own a boat with a painting. Try to put it deeper into your throat.

Suck on it like a cat. Try to like tickle the end of it not only does he have a 300 million dollar yacht but it's got a 450 million dollar painting in it that is really completely way too much money

do you know people from like Dubai I know a bunch of like Dubai people but it's so rich there that the license the vanity plates like whoever has the number one that's the top of men yeah like there's nothing else to spend your money on except having the number one license plate yeah so if you're like number six like you're really high-end in Dubai do you know about Saudi summers in Los Angeles no what's that well Saudi Arabia is so hot in the summer that Los Angeles in the

summer is a relief. So a lot of them would come from Saudi Arabia to Los Angeles for relief in the summer, like really, really wealthy folks. And they would ship over their Lamborghinis and Ferraris and like these crazy, like half a million dollar sports cars with these like Saudi Arabia license plates, which is totally illegal huh and they but they would be like consulate or whatever right on it and they would just drive around and race down the street in beverly hills that's a time-honored tradition of car hijinks with saudi that's what remember roy de mayo the famous like guy that was like a yeah yeah from murder machine that book i read that book so his main job was cutting up,

by the way, I got a lot of this from the Sammy the Bull podcast. Oh, really? But yeah, it would make a great horror movie because he has stories about meeting that guy where the guy's bragging about just killing people just to kill them at this bar he has. Yeah, he had a bar and then he would kill people upstairs.

He'd practice on people. He'd go, yeah, I gotta keep my boys short. But it sounds like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but with mafia. That Murder Machine book's terrifying. Yeah, so this- You read it? I never read the book, but I know it. But it's amazing, because he was like one of those guys that's like that much of a psycho,

but he's like a great dad. Like, his son has no complaints about his dad whatsoever. Didn't they say that about the Iceman, too? Well, the Iceman was pretty abusive, actually. Oh, really? Yeah, if you read the... That movie sucks because it makes it look like... But he loves his family.

He was like a crazy, abusive guy. Well, that makes sense. I mean, it's not pleasant to be around someone who kills like that. Yeah, constantly. Except Roy DeMeo, who was a great dad by all accounts. Bizarre. Kurt and I need advertisers for our YouTube channel.

Anybody listening there, you want to advertise on our YouTube channel? How do you... Kyle Dunning and Shepard. Do you guys get any ads? We actually... E-Forms has really stepped up and it's saved us. E-Forms? E-Forms.

Shout out to E-Forms. E-Forms.com. It's like Sherry's Berry. It's fine. It's fine. It's E-Forms. Oh out to E-Forms. What is that? E-Forms.com. It's like Sherry's Berries. It's fine. It's fine. It's E-Forms. Oh, do you do the ads as Ben Shapiro? Actually, in the Star Trek, I did it as just Ben turns to the camera.

Can Ben get mad at you for that? I don't know. I hope not. You even sound like him. You don't know how to shift. It's fine. Absolutely. Kyle, do you know Kyle has a mutant throat?

Oh, yeah. I swear to God. I hurt my neck once. Actually, an embarrassing story. Do you know Kyle has like a mutant throat? Oh yeah, I had a I hurt my neck once I had a dream I was twisting off the top of a Coke can and I woke up I was twisting my own neck So I go to the doctor and they took x-rays And the doctor comes

You know they got an x-ray on the wall and he's rubbing his chin Which is like international A sign of like something I don't understand what I'm looking at Never seen this before yeah so he goes uh michael come on in here calls a doctor and i'm just sitting there look and they're both looking and like and i go i think i'm dying i go what what's wrong and he goes you have the neck of a seven foot man

anyway i'm able to put my larynx way down and make like, I can change my voice a lot because my neck is so long. That's like an X-Files. Sit up straight. Sit up straight. Just straight. Just don't move. It looks so normal.

Thank you. I don't understand. I don't know. It just looks like a neck. But I can, now that he's said it, I can see it. Really? Yeah. Girls like guys with like really long necks.

It's like the number one thing they like. Really? Because they can reach the higher fruit on the tree. It's a more evolutionary fit. Do chicks want to get fucked by giraffes? You see on the dating sites how long is your neck? Girls have horse fantasies. They do.

They do. They have horse fantasies. A giraffe is not that far from a horse. I'm not a horse. A giraffe is not. Thank you. Single, by the way. There's all these women.

I used to live in an equestrian community, and these women that would have horses were all built the same way. They were all built like Alex Jones. They had this barrel chest. I didn't think you were going to say that. I nodded like I was on board, but I'm not anymore. Barrel chested, sort of. I remember that.

Like mongols. Not the girls I knew. They've given up on everything but just coming while they're riding the horse because there's something about riding a horse that makes some women can have orgasm when they ride the boys yeah yeah that's part of what what the whole horse thing is I'm not saying for all ladies ladies please that why it was illegal wait a minute cuz you know I was illegal for women to ride horses right sideways because they knew women were coming

Yeah, she's like literally rubbing her clit on this saddle I mean I remember like girls in my height in my middle school like 12 years old I've eaten they've all pictures of horse in their lockers like their boyfriend was their horse. Yeah. Now girls have like big dogs that I don't like. If you got a big dog and then it's in the bed then you know the girls that have like dog boyfriends

and they like lay with it and like you're laying there and the dog's got his balls in there. That's a problem. If it's a big dog or a Rottweiler or something he's a little jessim

twice the size of you. He growls at you. He has a human sized dick in the bed with you. Humans and it's always big dog or a Rottweiler or something, he's a little aggressive. Did you say twice the size of you? He growls at you. He has a human-sized dick in the bed as you. Humans. And it's always got a little jizz on the tip of it if he's not fixed. It's twice the size of your dick. So anyway, yeah, I dated this one girl with a dog that wanted to murder me. The dog wanted to murder you?

Every time I came over, I was like, rah, rah, rah. Really? And she was so tiny, she couldn't really handle it. What kind of dog was it? It was like a Rottweiler pit bull mix. Oh, Jesus. But I mean, yeah, handle it. What kind of dog was it? It was like a Rottweiler Pit Bull mix. Oh, Jesus. But I mean, yeah, you know. And it wanted to kill you?

She was so little, she couldn't really handle it. Did you ever wake up in the bed and you thought you were spooning her, but it was the dog? She was not a dog spooner. It wasn't her boyfriend. It was like a different situation. Do you remember the lady in Connecticut that slept with her chimp and gave it Xanax? What? She slept with it?

What do you mean she slept with it? Slept in the bed with a chimp. Wait, that- The one that killed her friend or ripped her friend's- The chimp that bit her foot? Oh, I remember that. Yeah, she gave the chimp Xanax, and then her friend came over, and her friend apparently was cock blocking, and the chimp's like, I'm going to take care of this bitch.

On Xanax, the chimp did all that? The chimp was on Xanax. I know, that's the craziest part of it. Which is benzodiazepine, which is one of the hardest fucking things for a human being to kick. Yeah. There's two things that kill you when you kick them. Benzos and alcohol. That's right. She was feeding the chimp both of them. She was feeding the chimp benzos and wine.

So she's feeding this chimp Xanax and wine. The chimp's laying around with her with a fucking diaper on. It was a 200 pound chimp because it was kind of overfed. So it was a fat giant huge chimp and when her friend came over she tore a friend apart or the chimp did tore a friend i saw a lady on oprah that was the worst oh it's horrific they always take your face off it's like that's our first

fingers they bite your fingers off what piece of shit doctor like i mean like this woman had no is crazy what a chimp does is crazy what it does crazy what it does to you they're mean and they know what you like they know what makes you you it's not like a dog they go for face and genitals they bite your feet off rip your feet off they do wild shit like they know they're crippling you

they'll bite your fingers off they'll grab your hand and bite your fingers off I'm trying to think of what I'd rather have bitten off. I think a foot. A foot rather than a hand? Yeah, for sure. I have a foot that there's like no anyway, I don't want to talk about my body anymore but like

There's no fat on my feet. I'm just upset. There's no fat on my feet. There's no fat on your feet? No, I went to a fat pad at the bottom. What kind of dysmorphia were you looking at how fat your foot feet no i went to a foot i want a fat pad at the bottom what kind of dysmorphia i went to look at your how fat your foot i went to a doctor kurt and the doctor took an x-ray and she said you have no fat on your feet and that's why you're in pain and i go okay we're gonna do and then she's like doctor you go she goes there's nothing she goes there's nothing

you could do about it no but a doctor said there's no fat on his... Your doctor is drunk. No, she said... He needs fat feet, you skinny fuck. She said there's... That's the thing. You used to go to the doctor. They have an answer.

There's no answer. She's like, go about your life as you get more and more in pain. There's no answer for low fat feet. That's true. So explain something. What was wrong? Guys, bird problem. Your feet were hurting?

They were hurting? My feet have killed me since I've been 25 years old. How so? Well, at first they dropped. I lost my arch. When I was a kid, my dad would be like, make sure you take care of your feet. My dad never complained. Because he had a foot problem?

Yeah. That was him saying, I see what your feet are doing. It's not going to be a good thing. Have you tried standing on a pole like a fucking parakeet I do a pole but um yeah look well they're like foot there's foot exercises you can do they gave me a band and stuff yeah that's like wide rubber thing but she was like just exercises you can do. They gave me a rubber band. Rubber band. That's like a wide rubber thing to do exercises. But she was like, there's nothing you can do about it. What about jumping rope?

I do jump rope. It's all very painful. There's really nothing you can do about it. But if you strengthen your foot, like there's a lot of specialists online that talk about foot strength. And in fact, there's this guy, his name is Nick Curson. He's a very famous strength and conditioning coach.

And one of the things that he says that 90% of all athletes have in common is that they have poor foot strength. And he said it's the one thing that he works on with all of his athletes is foot strength because it's so neglected. That's interesting. So they do a lot of plyometrics, a lot of jumps, a lot of like jumping side to side, a lot of ladder drills. You ever seen ladder drills? They lay this rope ladder on the ground and you step in the ladder out of like that a lot those kind of things and then jumping rope like can strengthen your feet okay well she shouldn't she shouldn't know this most

doctors have no fucking idea how to make your body stronger like they know you have a problem and they go, you got a problem. The idea that you could try some radical physical therapy, some strength and conditioning routines that are actually going to strengthen the muscles and tendons of your feet,

but that's 100% possible. Yeah, she should have told me that. But you work out, you, I feel like, have consistently worked out your whole life, right? I never stopped. Yeah, that's the key.

That is the key. I stop every now and then. And I have this thing that I used to do where I would just go to the gym because I read if you do something for 21 days, it'll be a habit. So I would just go to the gym. I'd drive there. I'd walk in and I'd leave. I'd pick up a weight and leave.

Front desk thought I was fucking insane. But after a while, it became a habit and I would start to work out. So you just decided don't put any pressure on yourself just go and just do a little something guys and that's better than nothing don't you think and then a habit but anyway now i just go and it stopped working and i'm just now i just go to the gym and i pick up something having i leave but i gotta look guys is it obvious that just evolutionarily speaking Kyle is meant to stay in one stand in one spot and write

jokes no Bob into a glass of water like this with a top hat and if he was doing what he's evolved to do that's so rude but that I do look like that guy I can see you with the hat just let your head take you the gravity and

back up again I'm trying trying to turn women on. I have the legs of a 12-year-old girl and the neck of a 7-foot man. You just got to find someone who's into that. I know, and there's someone out. You just need a dating website. I don't see any. By the way, I have no social life. I literally do this on YouTube all day, and I don't do anything else.

Every now and then I go to a stand-up spot. Have you heard of Brontosaurus? Yes. Wait a minute. Do you have a top hat? I wish I did. I wish I had a top hat laying around. Look, that is-

Why does that have lures in the left-hand corner? What a weird combination. Bobbers? Oh, bobber. What is that for? Is there like a- I can't believe Jamie Googled that right away. Where would you hear that?

I mean, you really bought it to life Jamie Those metal balls strings that people have in their office watch this click click clock click So how bad do you want the job Carl? Yeah, those are big clock office It's a weird thing to have on your desk, but a lot of people would have those where you let one metal ball go. Yeah, yeah.

American Psycho had that. Did he have that? I don't know. He had Gavin Newsom hair. I used to stare at, like, I had some Asperger-y things when I was younger.

I used to stare at a kite until I peed my pants. Like, those kind of things, I would stare at those things for hours. A kite in the sky? Yeah,

I would take it and they'd be like, to get away from me, they'd be like, let's see if it's there in the sky? Yeah I would take it and they'd be like To get away from me they'd be like Let's see if it's there in the morning But I just would pee my pants and stare at a kite Back when I was younger they did test you Did Elon Musk have the same? Well sometimes those things can be a strength

Because you can concentrate on things for long periods of time Like look at the content you guys are putting out Like I don't think you put that out if you're healthy No I totally agree with you Kyle pees while we do it You can concentrate on things for long periods of time. Look at the content you guys are putting out. I don't think you put that out if you're healthy. No, I totally agree with you. Kyle pees while we do it. It's not sustainable. Kyle edits till he pees.

He has a diaper. It's like a dip of water. Like that astronaut lady that went to fuck up her husband's boyfriend. The diaper? Did she really wear a diaper? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's a true story. She was dating this guy. I think maybe the guy was married, and she went to get the guy's wife, but she drove

through many states through the night, took fucking amphetamines and wore a diaper. I wish I had one now. And then maced the lady when the lady tried to roll her window down. She maced her. Oh, I didn't know she actually attacked her. Lisa Nowak, the astronaut, drove 900 miles to attack her ex's girlfriend. That's what it was. It's a crazy fucking story.

She used her astronaut bladder skills. She wore diapers to avoid bathroom breaks. Her actions inspired the 2019 movie Lucy in the Sky. I didn't know about that movie. I didn't know. Yeah. You maybe need to watch that movie. Send me a link to the movie, please.

Let's watch the whole thing right now. Required reading. I need to watch something. That does sound interesting. I have to go to the movie please i gotta let's watch the whole thing required reading i need to watch something that does sound i have to go to the bathroom right now i'm afraid to leave though because you guys want to talk about my body well now we are shit we were just gonna stay in one place till you pee that's the lesson of life go pee yeah go pee okay we'll be right back we're having fun with you you're bringing your. You must have to take a shit It's like there's notable actors and whatnot in it. Oh, who's in it? John Hamm now the portman plays the main girl. This is 2019. Yeah Well see here's the thing and no one wants admit this but that lady that crazy astronaut lady Did that was probably amazing in the sack right yeah oh my god it's like a trip to

space you'd be that amazed the kind of person is willing to drive 900 miles wearing a diaper I know it's pretty hot yeah it's it's kind of in some ways it's kind of hot like She's probably wild. Look at her. Astronaut lady. She's probably a freak. Right. I bet.

I mean, I'm just guessing. Do you know what somebody told me once? What? The greatest lover of all time was Michael Phelps, the Olympic swimmer. He's so tall and such an athlete. He probably has a giant hog, right? Yeah, right. He seems like one of those guys that would have just a hammer. Like a whale-sized...

Yeah, hammer. Hammer. Just look at him. Big, long guy. Big, long dick. I tell his joke about him that he's the obvious product of a dolphin rape. The greatest thing is that dolphins do that. Girl, ladies, would you fuck Michael Phelps?

And they go, no. He goes, you would if you were drowning. You remember when someone outed him at a party for smoking a bong? That was crazy. What a piece of shit that kid was. Do you use drugs? I know. The guy won eight fucking

gold medals you're like yeah yeah but what about the pot the only thing i could compare it to is the ivermectin misinformation well the the person who did it like first of all they're probably just clout chasing right but this was like so early on this wasn't even a social media thing was it yeah it was yeah nine oh nine yeah but okay i guess there was twitter back then well there's This wasn't even a social media thing, was it? Yeah. It was, yeah. 09? Yeah. But, okay, I guess there was Twitter back then. Well, there was also, like, Gossip Blog. It was also Britney Spears, because Britney Spears, did you see that? He's back.

He didn't have his shit. Do you think she will fall to the Taliban now that her father is pulled out of the- I don't know. Close that. Close the other door. I don't know what to think about that. I've been saying this. If that was Lil Wayne. Yeah. If that was Lil Wayne, and Lil Wayne was going crazy, spending all

his money and putting diamonds in his forehead. Was that Lil Vert? Was that guy that did that with diamonds? Yeah. What do you mean put diamonds in his forehead? Dude had a giant diamond inserted into his forehead, and then someone stole it. Wait. Yeah, someone grabbed it, ripped it out of his head.

Hold on. You wait a minute. You don't know about this? No. There's a new one, though. So someone- He's's a new one though. So someone... He's got a new one? No, there's a new rapper that has a gold chain surgically implanted into his head.

He did it before he beat somebody doing it. And someone stole it like in fucking Avengers. Pulled it out of his fucking head. Like Thanos, they pulled the thing out of his fucking head. So this guy has these gold chains inserted into his head? Yeah. That's going to hurt. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. That's going to hurt. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. He's screwed in there. What is the connection? What is he doing with his teeth? Wait, who's this? These are metal teeth, too. He's got metal teeth. This is a kid. Wow, really?

He's brushing his metal teeth. But I want to know how he got those inserted in his head, the gold chains. They can do that. Plug shape. That's a cool look. Is it? I'm thinking about going that way. Isn't there guys that have snap-on hair? Listen, I'm bald. Asserted in his head the gold chains they can do that plush. That's a cool look I'm bald I can't wear it today, but I could wear that I'm thinking about wearing oh my god Just how about this not gold change, but just gold studs That's a really bad idea though to just like beads gold that's a very dank abal thing

Look he's got the neck thing where his neck is gonna grow. Are you gold that's a very yankable thing look he's got the neck thing where his neck is gonna grow are you saying that's not removable he's gonna have a giraffe neck yeah he's gonna have a giraffe around his neck as a child it's actually very regal to have a long neck by the way it's very loyal like a seven foot tall guy's neck yeah yeah those he underwent surgery in April allowing him to hang dozens of chains from his head. I had it as a hook that's implanted in my head, and that hook has hooks, so they're all hooked in my skull under my skin. Those are hook to hooks.

He said in a viral clip, this is my hair, golden hair, the first rapper to have gold hair imprinted in human history. That word hair and hook is said so many times jamie please see if there's like detailed images that depict the surgery and the subsequent uh bleeding trump did it first dude imagine that though these fucking kids are very innovative that's like cyberpunk shit dude it's pretty wild i wild. I'm impressed. That's a waste of money. No, no, no, no. My golden hair. No, no, no, no.

You like that? No, a $40 million stupid fucking painting is a waste of money. How awesome. If Kyle- I'm looking at the painting while I'm wearing this. If you had gold chains implanted into your head, how fucking cool would that look? I might- I don't-

I'm thinking of doing something radical like that. Or get that clown hair. Yeah, man. Why don't you get clown hair? You and I, Kurt. We're bald. Let's get something funky. I'm basically bald.

No, you're doing way better. I know. Is this privileged piece of shit? Yeah, shut the fuck up about this. I'd love to have that. Actual bald people. I'd love to have that salad on my head. You know one thing?

I don't know what I searched for on Instagram, right? But you know how you search something and then the algorithm shows you all these things now? Yeah. Maybe I clicked on one that I saw in the search, just taking a shit one day, bored. But there is a whole movement of guys gluing wigs to their head. Oh, yes, there is.

Wait, what do you mean gluing it? Like ball guys, it's like all the ones that I get are from other countries. Do they take it off sometimes? I don't know, but they show a guy looking like this. And then the guy like, zah, zah, zah, and squirts the glue on the head and puts his crazy wig. And then the guy's like, ah! Why does he do that?

Because this guy does this. He's excited about the, yeah. This is his move. I'm going to show you. I'm going to show you. I'm going to send this to Jamie because I don't know. You know how you get on an algorithm, and then the algorithm just sends you. Oh, I'm going to show you. I'm going to show you. I'm going to send this to Jamie because I don't know. You know how you get on an algorithm and then the algorithm just sends you. Oh, I know.

Bam. Immediately, I get to one. It's pretty great because YouTube does that, too, where you just- Is that it? Okay. Glue? I'll find you one. His shirt says superior.

What does it say? I got one on the screen. Oh, there's one of them. Yeah, there's a ton of these guys. Oh, my God. That looks like Mexican Yeah, there's a ton of these guys. Oh, my God. That looks like Mexican me. There's so many of these guys. But this, for whatever reason, I don't know what country it is.

Yeah, they look sad. What's this guy? Oh, I'm fucking sad. I ain't got no hair. And then this guy comes along and glues down this. Look at this. Hey, watch this. Bam! Look at my fucking hair now. Oh, my this. Look at this. Hey, watch this. Bam!

Look at my fucking hair now. Oh my god. See? Wow. But they'll show the process like, I'm so sad. That's pretty amazing. I'm losing my hair. Any man can have lesbian hair now. That is the times. But the thing is though, you're gluing it. I know. How do you get that off? It's rough. I've seen this.

It does look good It looks fucking good It looks fucking amazing That looks fucking good But the thing is I feel like It would look good for a day Dude

Who's the guy from fucking How heavy would your head be With chains on Joel Yo McHale Joel McHale Yeah

I met him in person And his whatever Cause you remember Where he came from right The Burger King commercials I do not remember The Burger King commercials Yeah before all that He was a guy who was going bald met him in person and whatever because you remember where he came from right the burger king commercials i do not remember the burger king commercial yeah before all that he was a guy who was going bald in burger king commercials it was like uh copying the success of the office and it would be like i thought i told you a whopper it's like a and uh he was losing and then he had an amazing

dragon ball z hair he does have gray hair dude and i asked him point blank because i would be and then he had an amazing Dragon Ball Z hair. He does have great hair. Dude, and I asked him point blank, because I would have been like, what do you do to hold your hair? I immediately will ask somebody that. Okay, so this is back in the Dizzee. Wow, Jamie's good.

Look it, look it. Oh, yeah. So that's right when I was at that hair loss, I asked him, what does he do to hold his hair? He didn't tell me. He wouldn't tell you, huh? He probably had great- Gotta keep it tight. Those are good- Loose lips sink ships, and you got loose lips, pal. You do, you do. He wouldn't tell you, huh? He probably had great... Gotta keep it tight. That's a good plug. Loose lips sink

ships, and you got loose lips, pal. You're talking about it right now on a podcast. If I could help people to have Joel McHale hair, I would feel it was my duty to do that. This is off topic. Have you seen the cat at the football game? Yes. Can you see that real quick? The cat with the flag? Yes.

The cat was hanging from a... The cat was... You gotta see this. It looked? Yes. The cat was hanging from a, like, the cat was- You gotta see this. Somewhere in there, it looked like a feral cat was at a football game and got stuck on a rafter and was like hanging. Look at this. Look, hanging. Holy shit.

Over the top. This isn't even the good angle. This cat falls really far. I mean, this guy's reaching, trying to get it. And so these people, no, it is a good angle because underneath it you see how they catch it. Oh my God. This is in Miami.

It's a very far drop. Yeah. But watch how the cat drops and they catch him with a flag. Bam. See, they got him with a flag. American flag. I didn't see him catch him. And then they're holding the cat up.

Yay. I hope that was like a house cat. I just imagine people going, should we bring our cat to the football game? Like, I don't know. He'll like it. Yeah, he'll like it. Imagine a cat freaking the fuck out all these people screaming the cat's very calm right there no the cat like attacks that guy

yeah he's like there's no thank you cat doesn't understand what's going on no he's totally confused when you guys sit down to write what is the I'll tell you, because I think we do a very, our process is better than how they do it with other shows, because, you know, you'll write a script and then they'll walk in the script and you're in a room and they'll go shoot it and you're locked into that script basically. But what we'll do is like,

we'll have an idea and like, I'll shoot like a real rough and we'll look at it, you know, and go, that doesn't work. Cause once you perform it, it changes a lot of times. So a lot, it's painstaking, but we'll reshoot things a few times to get it right, which you can't do when you're doing expensive. You know, I just shoot in my room with a green screen.

What is the process though? Like, do you have a premise that you guys discuss together? Like, how do you bullshit about something on the phone? Or Zoom and we'll laugh like we've cried laughed sometimes i mean it's been great i mean kurt's also a friend of mine and like it's just so fun to cry laugh like writing sometimes stuff that sometimes make the stuff we're doing but once we get on something we'll um i remember when you guys were gonna do a show for Comedy Central and I was Happy and sad at the same time. I was happy for you, but I was like they're gonna fuck it up

Yeah, then when they wouldn't do the Caitlyn Jenner fucking Donald Trump one. Yeah. Yeah, which is like and you showed it to me I remember we were in the green room of the main room in the Comedy Store and you showed me the video on your phone And I'm tearing I can't breathe. I'm crying. I'm like oh my god in the in you like they won't do this They won't use it. I'm like what yeah, they wouldn't do it Yeah, just because you couldn't like it was offensive you couldn't have Caitlyn Jenner and Donald you had already have been South Park for 20 years yeah, yeah They're just so scared of anything South Park for 20 years.

They're just so scared of anything controversial, which is, like, one of the core tenets of comedy. Like, controversial things. By the way, I did not care for that one bit. I mean, it's been from the beginning of time. Luckily, YouTube, we can do that. Oh, my God.

I am glad, too, in a way that it didn't get picked up. Because it really, just, I'm repeating what you're saying, but you want to be on some kind of edge in order to have a really big laugh a lot of times. And we're not trying to be offensive to anybody. We don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, but it's...

You're just going for the most funny thing to say. Yeah, trying to get a belly laugh. Give people a belly laugh is the greatest thing. You're getting the biggest laughs you can out of those subjects. The great thing is, Kyle doesn't know anything about fucking politics. This is the best part. It's like if some kid you knew had a play set of cool toys to play with, because he does all these voices.

Right. So that's all it is, is taking you know there's no reason ben shapiro would be with joe biden as his butler it's just he does the impression so you know like you don't really have to be political to like it and the thing is funny is people get mad he really offends both sides yeah i do get both everybody Yeah. Some people are genuinely mad. When Trump was president, I really got a lot of hate, but I just tried to- Stormy! Yeah.

He has my favorite impression of Trump. Stormy. It's not very good. It's great. Trump is great because the image that you use for the face swap is Trump at his most fucked up. It looks like he's hungover. I know.

I was saved by, I was actually in a writer's room and I was miserable. It's a great job, I shouldn't complain, but I just wanted a performance, so I started doing face swaps of the writers in the room. And that's how I started doing it. And then when I found the Trump one, I did an impression of him for years,

but I looked the opposite of him. Every feature of my face is different than Trump's. And I was like, oh, I could do Trump. So I started the opposite of him like every feature of my face is different than Trump's and I was like oh I could do Trump so I started doing videos of Trump and and then luckily you found it face swap is the shit and the thing about your face swap as opposed to the face swap that like dr. fakenstein and those those guys aren't as funny right it's so good his stuff like that was also a problem with the Comedy Central thing. It's like it was so good, it lost some of the hilarity.

Like there's a quality. It drains it, dude. If it's too good, because here's what, if the face swap is like a caricature, okay? Yes. And the best impressions, you know, like did you ever see the Will Ferrell where he's Bush like for one night only? It was like a one man show where he's George Bush. No, I haven't seen it. It's hilarious. His George W. Bush for one night only. It's like a one-man show where he's George Bush. No, I haven't seen it.

It's hilarious. His George W. Bush isn't that accurate. It's like Will Ferrell being him. So having that, when you have it, it looks perfect, like the digital fake. It draws attention to how much you're not really the guy. The caricature one makes it funny because it's like you're... Well, it brings it into the cartoon realm

Right like the South Park right like South Park is so it's it's so not a human being It's so obviously not a human being that Kenny can die every week and no one cares right? It's not uncanny like right like what they call the uncanny. Yeah, yeah He's yours are so obviously fake that it's fucking, it's perfect. It's my favorite thing to watch, and I'm not bullshitting. You have my favorite comedy show that I watch. That's awesome. When you have a new video out, I fucking share it with everybody.

I get so excited. He had it before I got there. He had like pussies and shit. He did that before I was there. And Caddy Daddy with Annie. Oh my God. Oh my God, that is funny thank you how'd you come up with catty and when he throws his glasses i was actually in my car with annie and

i was like that's so bad i was just being like catty about it he's just a catty guy and then when you guys do pussies yeah and pussies i remember kurt coming up to me and being like oh i could i could i could make uh i could add to that pussies thing Yeah, and pussies, I remember Kurt coming up to me and being like, oh, I could add to that pussies thing. And I was like, I really at first was like, there's no way Kurt can play like a soft man, in my mind. Can you imagine? But he does an amazing soft, it's actually disgusting. His mic is gross.

Yeah, it is repulsive watching pussies. Yeah, and pussies, he has such a knowledge of that culture and the words. I don't know shit about all that stuff. He has to tell me, like, you can't say that. That's offensive. He actually puts me in trouble. Kyle's much older than me. Do you remember that video where these men are apologizing to women?

Do you remember the video? And then Will Smith, or Will Ferrell rather, made a mockery of it. Like, it was called Dear Women. It was called Dear Women. He'll never do that again. And it was these guys that were apologizing to women for all the bad men throughout history.

Do you remember that video? I think I'm different. There's a gamer, there's a bunch of gamers apologizing no no no no no no that's not what dear women this is no no but this is the Will Ferrell one try to find the original one because the original one is so gross that's it right there go down no yeah yeah but just so it showed the original one not Will Ferrell just say dear woman video okay it gives just 2011 yeah the original video is these guys that just decided they're gonna get some social clout by apologizing for all the bad

men ever and all you think of when you watch these guys like these guys are secret creeps you should assume they're serial killers yeah well you you're assuming for sure that women don't like them. So they've figured out like, this is my hook. Yeah. You know, like male feminists. Like you always assume. Like this is your last Hail Mary. You're trying to get some perfect. I assume you have.

Last chance. You know what I assume it is? You're in a Jamie Kilstein at his height of that relationship. You had Jamie on, right? Where he talks about like, about his trying to please somebody that doesn't love it. It's the saddest fucking thing you've ever seen. You brought this up to me about religion.

There's a little bit of a flogging aspect to it. Yes, self-flagellating. There's a sexual, weird, I know I'm the worst. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, hit me again. I apologize for all the worst. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, hit me again. I apologize for all of you. Have you found the original? Well, no.

The original link has been taken down. How would they take it down? It's the internet. Well, I mean, so the link- Dear Woman, right there. Right there. That's the welfare. Conscious Men.

Oh, is it? It says uploaded by Funny or Die. Oh, shit. I bet Conscious Men was actually like a woman trafficking organization that was like luring in. But there was a real, that's the guys. Look at these guys. Look at them too. Look at them too.

Oh, I remember that too when that came out. There's got to be a video in there. There's no video in that article. Again, it's linking to the original video. That original video is gone now. So I'm trying to find someone that has re-uploaded it by searching for Conscious Men because that's their group

oh that's what they call themselves? Dear Video by Conscious Men is that it right there? no that's still the Will Ferrell one no the one below it in the Facebook link I think that's it yeah this is it nope god damn it let me see

yep this is it Nope, god damn it, let me see Yep, this is it Give me some volume Just Spanish subtitles We stand before you today as men committed to becoming more conscious in every way We feel deep love, great respect And a growing sense of worship for the gifts of the feminine. We also feel deep sorrow about the destructive actions

of the unconscious masculine in the past and present. We want to apologize and make amends for those actions today, so that we can move forward together into a new era of co-creation. It's a trap. Don't go. My genitals just went up in my body. It's a trap don't go my genitals went up my body

So psycho I know that we all have access We're watching you I also have a growing awareness of the dimension beyond all Kurt's got a dimension beyond all duality. A dimension beyond all duality? This shit works, by the way. I commit to owning and stewarding a masculinity that honors and celebrates us as equals. I know that in order to truly honor you as a multidimensional woman, I must stand fully present with myself and own the gifts I have to share. That's the guy with the buffalo helmet on who broke into the Capitol.

Looked like that Jesus painting. That's him without the makeup on his face. Great miracles together. By nurturing each other in a conscious way. Oh, that guy's got it. Yeah, he's got dead mode in his face. They have dead eyes all over. The divinity expressed in the masculine and the feminine energies.

Oh, my God. This is real. Our relationship to the feminine is often in our conscious. the feminine energies. Oh my God. As men, our relationship to the feminine is often in unconscious. I feel sorrow that women and feminine energy have for so long been subjugated and oppressed. Throughout history,

men have raped and abused you. Oh my God. What the fuck? That's a woman burning alive? Jesus Christ. Okay, okay. We get it. That's what we burning alive? Jesus Christ. Okay, okay. We get it. We get it. That's what we do.

Burning women. I'm sorry. That was a real video. Those guys were like, I know how to solve this. No one. I think they probably thought they'd get some pussy off that. They definitely did. And they probably got together and go, guys, this is the one.

So what did Will Ferrell do? Will Ferrell did a hilarious take on it. Oh, yeah. Their take on it was fucking genius. Oh, that dude's funny, though. They spoofed it. And then he fired back. I should say he clapped back at Will.

Because that's the thing they say. They still say clap back? He clapped back. Conscious men clap back at Will Ferrell. By the way, that's the one appropriation that's totally cool. Taking all black transgender things. Clapping back. Yeah.

See if you can find the Will Ferrell one. We'll play the Will Ferrell one because the Will Ferrell one was genius. But yeah, again, they would never do that today. I just want to know so much more. It seemed like that was a cult

or there's something else going on with all of them. Are they part of a cult? Oh yeah, for sure. It sounds like a front group. They're's something else going on with all of them. Are they part of a cult? Oh, yeah, for sure. It sounds like a front group. They're talking about other dimensions. Let's watch the movie.

Dear woman, we stand before you today as men committed to becoming more conscious in every way. We feel deep love, great respect, and a growing sense of worship for the gifts of the feminine. They don't have to change the words feel deep sorrow Destructive actions of the unconscious masculine in the past We want to apologize and make amends for those actions in order to bring forth the Co-creation with you as I become more conscious. I grow more aware of the play of masculine and feminine history. This is what's amazing. Within you and in all of life. Free and open like the sky.

I commit to owning and stewarding a masculinity that honors and celebrates us as equals. We can create great miracles together by nurturing each other in a conscious way. Throughout history, men have unfairly oppressed you. By the way, none of us would dare do this joke now. None of them would. Not one guy in this? This is fucking hilarious.

Not one of them would be in a thing like that. That's only 10 years ago. Not one. That's? It was fucking hilarious. Not one of them would be in a thing like that now. That's only 10 years ago. Not one. That's true. That's only 10 years ago. Imagine how much has changed since social media and the advent of the social justice warrior.

Like how- Well, look- We mocked them, but they have had a significant impact just out of straight fear. They won. They won. They won. They won a large battle. I mean, Bill Burr's still out there swinging for the fences.

There's a lot of guys who are out there. They won like Foghorn, Leghorn won in those Looney Tunes where he'd fight with the other chicken for that big glasses chicken. And he'd be like, what did I win? That's what they won. Burr was on stage last night in Madison Square Garden

and he does this bit. He's doing this bit about how women should get paid less for sports because less people pay to see them. And Segura told me that some woman freaked out. He said the way he described it was like an animal had gotten a hold of her. She was screaming and wailing at him, just screaming at the top of her lungs. And Bill just went full savage mode at her. Oh my God. But it's like he's setting up a bit and she will not allow it.

She will not allow this bit. At the cellar, because I had a joke. I ended up doing my hour. I had a joke where I said I'm against gay marriage. It was back when it was a thing. Right. Which was ultimately a pro-gay marriage joke. It's just the hook of the beginning is I'm against thing. Right. Which was ultimately a pro gay marriage joke.

It's just the hook of the beginning is I'm against it. Right. Yeah. So I'm doing that joke. Some girl just grabs up. She grabs another table, the guy's drink, and throws it on me. Oh, my God.

And they're going to throw it. I'm like, wait, wait, wait. Why did she do that? She goes, you're against gay marriage. She didn't need to hear anything more than that. Well, the people have conflated jokes and bits with your actual thoughts and feelings on things. Like, no, this is a comedy show. Right, right.

It's like when you go to see a Quentin Tarantino movie, he's not, Brad Pitt's not really smashing a woman's face off the mantelpiece. Right. This is fiction. Yeah. And with jokes, you're obviously, I can't believe I have to explain this, you're obviously setting something up. I had this woman do this to me at the store. You do have to explain this, actually.

Did you ever watch? This woman at the store. I was at the store, and I used to have this bit about, there was a guy who broke into the White House, and when he broke into the White House, there was a woman guarding the front door of the White House with no gun. One lady at the door, by herself, unlocked door, no gun. And this guy just broke through. Who was president?

Obama. So during this bit, I say that, you know, people say that women can do everything men can do, right? I go, well, that's not true. Yeah. Because men can't. And then she fucking screamed, bullshit. Fuck you.

I go, hope, please. I go, hope, please. I go, I've got more. See, men can't do everything men can do That's why we have the Olympics I go, you know, there's nothing about like I Say if Shaquille O'Neal is guarding the White House I'm like I'm not getting in like if the White House or I say if the White House is experienced

Experiencing a shack attack and armed guarding armed guarding the White House, or I say if the White House is experiencing a shack attack and arm guarding the White House. I go, because I met Shaquille O'Neal and his dick is where my face is. And I keep trying to explain to this lady while I'm doing the bit. And she keeps chiming and eventually they kick her out. But I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ, lady. There's a bit and I get shit on in the bit. The bit is. It doesn't matter, dude.

It didn't matter. It didn't matter. bit and I get shit on in the bit the bit doesn't matter I didn't matter you already listen if you already mean man curian candidate programs whatever the word is you already hit the code word well apparently she worked at a studio too she was like a studio exec and she was drunk in the first row Oh like heck yeah stopping the bit you're not even listening I go this is the this is every job at the club if you're the bouncer or the bartender or the con, is dealing with drunks.

That's the main industry of standup, is just dealing with drunks. Well, some of them. But it's like, but this desire to jump in in the middle of a bit if you don't like the setup. Like, you're not even going to let, you don't even know where it's going. Yeah, yeah. Like, the whole idea is like, how is this woman going to be able to, if Mike Tyson is trying to break into the White House, right, you need multiple male armed guards to stop that

from happening. You can't have a lady with no gun and some fucking crazy dude ran all the way across the lawn. Apparently the guy that has the dog wasn't paying attention. He took his headset off because there's people with with dogs later supposed to let him loose if someone and it was a clusterfuck of errors And the whole bit is about how this guy is running probably on a suicide run because this guy had been arrested Just outside the White House with like guns and a hatchet and like a trunk filled with ammo They had arrested him like two weeks prior. Why was that not that seems like

I was a big story. It was a big story. I don't remember it at all It was a big story, so I tried to set this bid up and saying That look like I've met Sheila O'Neill and his dick is where my face is I'm like if I'm guarding the White House and the White House is experiencing a shack attack We're fucked like the country's doomed. He's gonna get in. Could you at least stop his dick, the part that is eye level? Yeah, if you just could stop his dick. I don't even think I could.

But the idea is that like, it's a physical thing. Like the idea that a woman, a frail woman, should be able to guard the White House without a gun is preposterous. I mean, that's the plot of a lot of movies. But the idea that these people sit there and wait for you to say something that may or may not be a green light that they can step in and correct you on.

I know. It's just fucking infuriatingly stupid. I think it benefits us a little bit because not many people can do, like definitely not networks. There are, all in the family was a good example of archie bunker was the idiot and you have like a nuanced humor and like people laughed at him it kind of eased racial tension because everyone's like the whole country's laughing this idiot

racist dude and you can't do that anymore because people like you're saying can't get through the front can't go any layer deeper than do you know uh no room for you remember bruce smirnoff did you know him from the comic strip do you remember his story getting fired off of archie's place what was archie's place another sitcom it was an archie edith was dead and he had like a god was she the actress still alive and didn't want to do it that would be even sadder i don't want to do it. Oh, watch. Oh, watch. My contract sucks. Just do the show. Yeah.

So, yeah, so I guess Bruce stepped on Carol O'Connor's lines, and he wanted him to fly, right? But his manager didn't have the heart to tell him, so Bruce just went into work the next day. Okay. That happened to me actually. Yeah. Everybody's being weird to him.

And he's like at the crafty getting a bagel or something. And someone walks up with a, cause it's, there's no, no, it's all cordage. So he brings a phone with a super long cord and walks it up to him. Everybody's just staring at him.

And he has to answer the phone and his manager's like, listen, I meant to tell you that you're fired from the show. He's like, uh-huh, uh-huh.

I went to- What a shitty manager. I auditioned for this thing. It was like four auditions to get this, it was like a part, it was six episodes on some NBC show.

And so I go in there and right before the big table read, they have a table read for the network, you know, and I sit down and they go, you have some new lines. And I'm like, fuck, because I cannot read cold. I'm a very poor reader.

I've been to schools. Dude, that's the crazy thing. Dyslexia, you could go into making great sketches or be Sammy the Bull. Yeah, Sammy the Bull. It could go. Dyslexia? Yeah, dude, it looks like a lot of the mafia was a program for young Italians with dyslexia.

I didn't even test back then. I went to a- So tell me what happened. So I sit down. I'm like, oh, fuck. And everyone's getting killer laughs. And it gets to me and I'm like, the store is closing at five o'clock. And then the whole room

was just like dead. I left and I was like, oh, that didn't go well. I'm probably gonna fire her but I came back the next day and the casting director like stopped me and I was going to Iraq

like a week later and she's like, but have fun in Iraq. Then my agent dropped me but then Joe Rogan found my videos. That was what happened to you? Yeah.

Jesus Christ. The thing is, you can't tell them, hey, I need time to go over this. You can't just give it to me cold. I should have said that. When I was younger, they didn't really test for, you were just a dumb person if you couldn't read fast. Right. So they brought me these nuns. I mean, also now.

And now. The machine would project on the wall sentences at a certain speed. And I had to drive an hour and a half to go to this nun. And she was like, testing me on level one. And she saw I was upset. And she goes, by the end of this summer, you'll be on level 10.

So the whole summer I worked and drove there. And then we did the test at the end of the summer. And I was on level one. And her faith in God, you saw fall off her she was just patted me on the back and she was like bye oh my god what was she teaching it's okay don't worry about it what was she teaching you she was taking me through the um thanks taking me through the machine you know and she'd be like, try to look at chunks at a time. But did she understand

dyslexia? Did she get it? No, it's not simple. You know who really got the word out about dyslexia, by the way? Who? Bill Cosby on the Cosby show. That's real? Theo. He was always hard on Theo, but he found out. Cosby. Theo!

I don't know. That's it? That's all you got? All I got is Theo! You have so many impressions. You know what's funny? The Bill Maher one. How bad does Bill Maher hate your impression? It's funny because I actually feel bad now.

Because I think we've overshot. Because this is actually the first sketch. And I have nothing against Bill Maher I'll just go along I think Bill Maher's rants on his show are fucking They're important, they're huge, they're really good Like some of the more recent ones Attacking woke culture and all the bullshit involved

Yeah the ones I like I want to apologize to Bill Maher Because we, that's the first sketch We really buckled down together with And we have been being gang banged By a lot of celebrities and that's not right Can we, that's the first sketch we really buckled down together with and we have been gangbanged by a lot of celebrities and that's not right. Can we watch that? I guess we could put it on.

Which one, where's that at? Bill Maher gangbang. Didn't he pretend to not know who you were? Yes, and he, and then you could tell. On the podcast. Yes, and you could tell he did because then you were like, let's play. Don't play it.

If you play that, I'm leaving. That's what he said. Yes, and then he said he's so tired. Okay, so Kyle, that's the first thing that I worked on. Because all of Kyle's anger comes out through sketch and dance and music. Sketch and dance? Not dance. I did tap with my mother when I was 12.

Yeah, it's dance too. So the thing that's funny is his idea was like, I want Bill Maher to get gang banged. So the thing. No, I was upset because he was like, his impression's terrible. I've heard it. It's terrible. That's what he said. Your impression's amazing.

Thank you. And you said, it's good. Let's play it. And he was like, if you play that, I'm leaving. So my suggestion was to make it for charity. Bank started. And I hope everybody's here. Because I'm not waiting.

Present. I was thinking, since I love dinosaurs, perhaps I could... Jeff Goldblum. Yes, yes. So Jeff Goldblum. I like it like this. Military anal on my back like a girl. This is going exactly where you think it's going,

so please feel free to stop watching. And remember, I did not write this. This is Brave Little Caleb's sketch. Oh, that's right. It's Wish's sketch. The intro's Wish's sketch. Your wish is my command. That's my legs.

Before we get started, would anybody like a glass of Fisherman's Friend or a Ricola? Yes, yes? I'm all for it. But thank you. Could you scooch? It's a real honor, Mr. Vice President. Now why don't you grab a foot and you and Jeff try to split

me in two, okay? Let me just slide in here. Why wouldn't he like it? Who's that supposed to be? That's Al Gore. Yes, yes, yes, yes? New rule. Next time put lube on your penises. Let me just slot in here. Why wouldn't he like it? Who's that supposed to be? That's Al Gore. Yes, yes, yes, yes. New rule. Next time, put lube on your penises before you jam them in a virgin asshole.

See, this is where we... Why didn't Bill want to see those? We went too far. We went too far on that one. Well, I don't understand why he didn't think that that sounded like him. Okay, Grape-O. You've got to admit, it's a great impression. And I don't know of anybody else

who does a Bill Maher impression. I think if someone even does a bad impression, you have to pretend you like it as a general rule. That's a fucking good one. I like it

because then it looks like you're upset. Why don't you apologize to Bill as Bill? Okay, Bill. I want to apologize for all the things I said about you

in the past. Okay? I'm not gonna do any more Bill Maher, except for... Well, we did one other one, but yeah. He was never really that rude to me. I told you I was in a plane

with him. After? No, before. Wait, before. He totally knows him. That's why I started doing an impression of him. Yeah, I went He totally knows him. That's why I started doing an impression of him. Yeah, I went to Hawaii with him. Did you? Pretend he didn't know me on your podcast. You guys on a private plane?

Yeah, on his private plane. On his plane. Yeah. I was dating Sarah Silver at the time, and he was really inviting Sarah. So I get that I'm a barnacle and he doesn't want me there. Was that when he was doing his New Year's show? Yes. Because he does a New Year's show. It was a New Year's show.

I ran into Moshe and Natasha at the resort in Maui. I just happened to be there. While they were there. I'm like, what are you guys doing here? Dude. And they're like, oh, we're working with Bill. Isn't Moshe the most surprise hairy guy that you ever met? You're like, wow, I never thought he'd be that hairy of a guy.

I did not pay attention to that. Yeah, we were in the plane. And he was a little rude to me but I kind of get it you know he doesn't really want me there I'm just he wanted Sarah there and you're the boyfriend yeah and then we get there and that we had a couple of dinners and they were in the beach and you know I'd started to you, take note of his voice. And I started to have an impression of him. Some impressions. Kyle does this thing that's incredible where there's certain impressions that he just naturally absorbs them.

The Goldblum's amazing. Well, this guy, you ever see Scott Rouse, the body language channel where he reads people's body language? Scott Rouse. Yeah. Scott Rouse. So we've had him on. He's great. By the way, his channel's great. He's great. Yeah, Scott Rouse. So we've had him on. He's great. By the way, his channel's great.

He's great, yeah, Scott Rouse. He reads body language? Yeah, he's like an expert. Works for like the government stuff. So he can tell like how you feel, like if you're like. Yeah, they break down. Agitated.

Right. They break down like, you know, criminal interviews when they interview murderers. What if the guy just sits there like this? He goes, first they get a base, this is what I've gathered,

they get a baseline of the person talking. You have to get them talking. Oh, you gotta get, okay. Yeah, but just, you know, the way you shift eyes or whatever, voice changes, blink rate, there's a lot of different things. But anyway, he's written books about it.

He's like an expert. But I did him to him. He laughs, like, I think you just, yeah, if someone does an impression of you to pretend you like it. It's not like, because I worked with him on impressions, but there's some where he just picks them up

and he just starts doing them, and he just picked this guy up immediately. We had him twice on the after party part of the show, and then Kyle started just doing him. Do you find that when you hear someone talk, there's certain voices where you know you can do it? Yeah, there's some voices that I sort of pick up in my ear easier. People talk in like four or five note ranges,

and some of them are just out of my range. Yeah. But I used to do them when I was a kid to get attention from girls. I did Michael Jackson when he was really popular. And this girl wrote, I love Michael Jackson on her shoe. And I kind of was like, we're dating, I think. Because she would come to me to do Michael Jackson. And then she scribbled it off one day

and I was devastated. But that was our breakup. But then I got like, I don't know, I got a chip on my shoulder. I was voted a class clown. And I kind of saw that was like a monkey for people in my school. Like I couldn't, I remember I went to the cool kids table

and they're like, do something funny then you can sit down, do an impression. And I got in my head, like, I don't do't do impressions so I never did impressions in my stand up I'm just starting to because of the YouTube stuff and everything and the app but I stopped doing impressions for like 20 like 30 years. Really? I didn't when I was younger all the time I did my teachers and and then I just got like a, not a conscious choice, but a little bit like, no, I don't do that. But wait, add to that, his mother filled his room with clowns.

Yeah, there were a lot of clowns. That was real. That's real, yeah. I had a clown phone that I just would be like, ha ha, and laugh, I'd pick it up. Cause your mom wanted you to be a comedian? He lived like the Joker's lair from the 60s Batman as a child.

She didn't. That is what he's telling me. Yeah, yeah. She didn't know know like I cried when I got class clown like I was upset about it

and I hated clowns really but I was very shy yeah and I didn't want to tell I don't want to remember those feelings and say I don't like clowns

because I was just that kind of person I still struggle telling people what I really want and so she just I was trying to one of the clowns

I still struggle one of the clowns had a hat that said I I love girls on it. And I think my family was like, does he like girls? Let's just put this clown on. Oh, Jesus Christ. They eventually found porn under my bed. That's the gayest thing anyone's ever had on their head.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But they found like girl clippings under my bed one day. I remember we were working together at the store. Girl clippings? Yeah, I had like clipped out stuff from my, but very light, like underwear ads. I thought you meant like hair and toenails and stuff. Oh, Jesus Christ. You said girl clippings, right?

What does that mean? No, you're right. Toenails. No, you're right. That did sound like that. Mother found the clippings today. I remember we were working at the store, and you were supposed to go on before me. Oh, no.

But they said he's got a band and he's got screens and it takes 20 minutes to set up. I experimented. And I go what? I go well how's he going to do that and go on before me if he's doing a 15 minute set? And they were like yeah okay we'll put him on after you. But it takes like 20 minutes to set up. I did that

once. I mean I do at Largo Theater. It's very Largo. But that was the first time I did it which was a huge mistake. I did that once. I mean, I do it at Largo Theater. It's very Largo. But that was the first time I did it, which was a huge mistake. I think it was the biggest bomb ever in the history

of the comedy store, by the way. I didn't see it. I had to leave. Good. Because it didn't work. I tripped over the wires. I had like a,

I first put on Michael Jackson. Now I have to, now it's like, first of all, it took 20 minutes after you left. And they came to see you. So you're done.

They want to go now. And this band is setting up. This is a bad idea. But I was trying to experiment. I remember them explaining it to me. Huh? They were explaining it to me. Kyle needs 20 minutes.

He's going to go on before you. But here's the thing. I didn't need that. I mean, I needed them to set up. But it took 20 minutes. You said it. They wouldn't let me put on the stage beforehand, which I get. There was a piano. And You said it. They wouldn't let me put it on the stage beforehand, which I get.

There was like a piano, and they were like, no, we don't want that on the stage. Dude, were you like, who does he think he is, Bo Burnham or something? Yeah, so now I have to set up after. So that's why it took that long.

We had originally set it up on the stage, but it was like too much. They didn't explain. They said it was going to take you 20 minutes to set everything up. Yeah, no, it was a mistake. It was something I regret. But I was experimenting and I, you know, I... What did you do?

I did face swap. I'm geared up. How? I jerry-rigged my phone onto this thing around my neck and I connected it to a projector and then I had written some songs and then I was trying to do it, but I was in front of the projector it unhooked.

It was a disaster. I really regret it. To do that at a 15-minute set at the store seems so insane. It's like, you know how they can transmute other matter into gold now, but it's just too much energy, so it's not worth it.

Can they do that? Yeah, you could, but it would be a ridiculous amount of power. Yeah, you could do it, but it's not worth it. Can they do that? Yeah, you could, but it would be a ridiculous amount of power. Yeah, you could do it, but it's not worth it on any. They had some breakthrough with that, by the way, recently. Really? Yes. Very close.

That's what Kyle's AV presentation was. Too much energy into it for not a lot of gold. If they did that, they'd probably do the same things they did with diamonds. They would just haul all the diamonds off. Apparently, diamonds are not valuable anymore. they did with diamonds. They would just like haul all the diamonds off until, you know, apparently diamonds are not valuable anymore. The De Beers family has all of them.

There's so many diamonds. Really? Yeah, as time went on, we should double check this to make sure this is true, but as time went on, the innovation in mining

and then the amount of diamonds they were able to discover far eclipsed right the supplies that had been previously available so diamonds which were like this incredibly rare precious thing are not that rare listen henry rollins told us this years ago did he yeah that's what i heard from henry rollins i will be doing that again though what i tried at the comedy store i i'm on my tour i'm gonna try because i I tried at the comedy store on my tour. I'm going to try it,

because I've got to get the face swaps on my tour. I'm going to fix it, and I do it at Largo every now and then. I'm going to be there October 1st, Largo. Dude, I called him up, because we used to write together. That's the song that got that award. That was like me and him a lot, you know?

And I was like, so I didn't know about his Instagram, but Annie showed it to me. So I was like, dude, whatever deal you got, just don't do it. That's when he was doing the Comedy Central pilot. It's like a year later, the Bill Maher thing, I don't know, inspired him. And then that's when we started making stuff together. Yeah.

I couldn't believe how funny that is, those face swaps. They're like so shitty. Well, the Caitlyn Jenner one when you had the whole family, and they're like, yum, yum, yum, yum. Oh, yeah when you had the whole family they're like yum yum yum yeah yeah the Kardashians they they probably don't like that either but Chloe actually play like I did made a video doing one of my videos really yeah the catchphrase yeah yeah yeah yeah that's funny she thought it was hilarious good for her. We're mad at you. We're mad at you. That's funny. She probably thought it was hilarious. Good for her. That's when I first learned of the term vocal fry was from you.

Yeah. Vocal fry is like this. That's what vocal fry is? Yeah. Girls talk like this now. Oh, it's called vocal fry? Paris Hilton, I think, started it. And by the way, it's feminist.

So before you say something. It's feminist? It's women talking low like men. Oh. Like the Theranos chick Areas oh my god, I'm obsessed with him. Well, I have to give it all she had to do was put on a turtleneck and talking Oh, it's voice like this and everybody believed her. It's like being mad at pickup artists You're like well if it works like she made this crazy voice it just works she was literally at the time she i think people have eclipsed her but she was the richest ever self-made woman billionaire and it was all fake yeah a full-on fraud not only just fraudulent

but dangerously so where people base their health choices right on this examination that they would do a drop of blood it didn't work at all. Do you do her? No. You should try. I'll try to get her, but do you think she... I bet you could do her. Her voice is too low. Do you think she thought she could catch up and make it work? Yes.

You know what I mean? Edison would do that, where you get investors and you can't quite do it yet. And then she's like, ah, I didn't crack it. Could be. Could be she figured out there was maybe some aspects of it that were legit. Dude, they're all fire festival in the heart. There's another fascinating.

They're all like, no, that magic. When they said that about, what's that game that famously came out and sucked? And they're like, oh, BioWare's the company. But like, that BioWare magic. Anthem. That's what it is. I don't know about that. Was came out and sucked and they're like oh bio where's the company be like that bio where magic anthem? That's what it is. I don't know about that Yeah It was like it came out around the time of uh This was like a I think it's hard to compare that level of fraud to someone who literally made

Thousands of people's lives and put them in deep danger. Well People dying that's the level of crime, but it's the same kind of thing of like yeah magic It's all gonna work out that makes the anxiety watching fire fast. You're like dude. Just stop it Just don't do you understand by the way the entire Afghanistan war was basically a fire fest, but I was like the Pentagon Yeah, yeah, there's some married no, it's totally gonna be awesome Who's gonna be there ever gets a sandwich? They did the fact you know her latest thing is like she's her latest Hail Mary is like that She was the the man was abusive and that's why she okay

Yeah, that's a sunny guy sunny Balwani the guy that she did it with I believe he was abusive and that's what's forced her to Lie when you hear the the people that were working there that uncovered it and they're like hey this shit doesn't work somebody killed themselves because his life was fucked up from trying to expose what was going on can we hear her what does she sound like yeah look at elizabeth well there was one there was a speech she gave at like some women's conference and that's when i knew she was full shit when i listened to her speech I was like this is not a smart person like this is not real and I remember this was when a low voice this was when she was huge this was when she was balling out of control and she was speaking she's like I'm just so happy to be here and accept this for all the amazing women who are out there doing

just amazing things and all you women are just incredible and I was like this is not how a genius speaks or thanks like this is nonsense talk like what she's saying was nonsense yeah it wasn't you know sometimes people are awkward but you can see the brilliance through their awkwardness there was none of that I was like this is a dull mind huh this is not a smart person like unless I'm missing something. Yeah, then I started like digging into it and then literally like months later, yeah the Exposure happened. She had a few sentences. She kept repeating like you have to say goodbye too soon

She would she had some script. She would repeat in every interview See if you can find her speech she gave some speech at this woman's conference thing and i remember listening to because they were talking well she definitely faked her deep voice but like google her speech at women's conference thing some women in business speech. No, it was like women's something. It really is amazing that that works. If you talk low.

Inspirational speech. Oh, let's hear this. Maybe this is it. Give me some. The leading cause of the suffering associated with saying goodbye. Too soon. Too soon. Yeah, that's the one.

Keep saying that. Give me some. Love. What? Right? What? It's a right defined in... Right. It defines universal declaration on human rights. And our work and my life's work is in being able to engage people in that right. We believe that the challenges of health care can be solved by the individual. And if we can begin to engage the individual,

we can begin to change outcomes. Okay. She should have run for president. I know. The thing is, you can be a full-on bullshitter and become a super successful politician. She just got in the wrong line of work. She got into killing people.

That speech sounded like she should have went Sandy miss high school football it was like she was like doing a speech in front of her class and she did no prep and yeah yeah just decided to pull through a book report the most amazing thing about this book is the way it's written things are bigger and yet smaller. It's so hard to say goodbye. Too soon. Too soon. What was that? Oh, well, dude, her real voice apparently was nothing like that. I can't do it because she's making her voice low and her voice is too high.

I think there's a way that you can do it. It would just be too low. Well, maybe I can do it for you. If you do it, that'd be cool. I'll do the voice swap. But the thing is, once you know that it was all fraud and you listen to that speech, it takes on a whole different feel. Because it feels like all horseshit.

Yeah, it's obvious. How would anyone not notice that that's a fake voice? I know. Honestly, God. If I heard that, I'm like, is that your voice? One of the ways she got ratted out was the people she went to college with. Yeah.

They're like, hey, hey, hey, that bitch doesn't talk like that. Like, what the fuck is going on? Yes, I do. That level of, I guess it's sociopath where you think you can get away with something. Like, I don't think I can get away with anything. But you imagine how far she got and when she was like literally worth billions of dollars. Billions. At that point, she was probably like, well, this is a fucking, this is a layup. I did it.

Wouldn't you be panicked? How much shit, by the way, is that, that somebody just keeps getting donor money? All these things that's a mystery, like nobody likes this. Why is it being made? And it's some kind of venture capital. Big people donate money. Yeah. Well, she'd do a thing where she had the little Edison machine and she'd prick your finger

and then they'd send the real blood somewhere else and take them for a tour and then come back. Listen, you should have taken the UBI when you had a chance. And now you're getting nothing. Didn't Betsy DeVos give her $100 million? I should hope so. I think it was $100 million. Jesus.

See if that's accurate. I don't want to get sued. Like I'm going to sue CNN. I think it's around $100 million. Yeah. That's incredible. She's supporting women. I mean, incredible how fake that is.

That's like one quarter of a painting she gave away. I mean, I have always felt especially like writing for things like you know you serve at the pleasure of like a minor noble you know like old time you know like old-timey you have like a benefactor that's like oh the the duke of something supports my that's how all these jobs have felt the whole time i've done writing for things like writing for a sitcom or somebody famous You feel like oh, I'm serving the Duke of something right, you know, like depending on the level of famousness Oh, I see what you're saying. It feels like that exact same like there's like patrons. So all these things now are like competing like rich patrons and It governs everything

That's what's talking about what young. Yeah, but this is an investment thing. This is someone who came with a product. Or a tax write-off, probably. I don't know. It's like a completely innovative Rupert Murdoch who sunk $125 million. She fucking got some big people. $125 million in Theranos.

It was the company's largest individual investor, though his name did not appear in the documents. He sold back his shares for $1 in early 2017. Holy fuck. He's like, wanted that dollar back. Wow. The Cox family, members of the South African Oppenheimer family, Walmart founder Sam Walton invested $150 million.

Holy fuck. Wow. I bet Rupert Murdoch's face was extra droopy that day. I can't believe she got me. He looked even meltier than usual when he found out. They all thought, like, the story was so great, right? You get this lady, she dresses like, I mean, she even, like, ripped off Steve Jobs' attire. Yeah.

And the whole presentation and pulling something out of her pocket. There's a thing that I have to do. It's called the nano. That thing, what's it called? A nanoteeter or something? I don't know. What was it called? The nanoteeter will allow us to save lives at Walgreens across America.

It'll allow us to change the way medicine interfaces with souls. See, that sounds Clinton-y, how you're doing it. We're all doing it terrible, but that's all right. I can work on it. I feel it. Give me another. You know what it is? Let me hear it again.

It's Ria, me, and Michelle. You can get her. It's that accent from Ria, me, and Michelle's high school wedding. It's a Coke. It is sort of like a Baltimore. I still have a little bit of a Rona voice. Which also is Jeff Bezos. Oh, yeah, Jeff Bezos.

I don't know what his voice sounds like. You can take this. I never knew until he broke the space barrier. He didn't break the space barrier. Because I called him with it, because I'm watching it. He's so excited, because he went to space. So he's like, you knew. He sounds like a server.

Yeah, it looks like that, actually. It was amazing. I fucking ruled, bro. Jeff Bezos. Space barrier. Okay, give me some. Give me some. Cause of the suffering. Cause of the suffering.

Cause of the suffering. It's associated with saying goodbye. Associated. Too soon. Is she singing? That sounds like Belle Biv DeVoe or something. Yeah, she's so full of shit. The health and well-being of every person and of those we love.

She's laughing. Honestly, I can't do it. I know, it's outside my range. It's a little bit too... I could try, but it would be fake. Look, she's trying to do Buffalo Bill. It's Hollywood. What's the notion in the bus?

She's doing Dan Zeller's voice. Is she a great big fat person? Ew. We need to have tests for great big fat people. Is she a great big vial of blood? Yeah, I can't do her because it's like a... You have to have a girl's voice to go low at that high. Well, maybe you can get a girl that can do it.

We need a girl, actually. This is a sausage festival. To this Star Trek thing, the cast is all white because if Kyle played anyone else, he'd be racist. That's true. Right, you can't play a whore white. It's not Gene Roddenberry's dream. Caitlyn Jenner is a whore. It's not Gene Roddenberry's dream. Caitlyn Jenner is a whore. But yeah, everyone's white.

Dude, what we went through to have the president of China, we have in the Fresh Press. Oh, yes. That was a lot of discussions. We recorded it three times. Because how do I do a Chinese? I can't do a Chinese guy. He did the Raiders of the Lost Ark bad guy.

You know, the one that burned his hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, what have we here Dr. Jones I did that but it sounds Chinese like oh it's racist and we had a Chinese comic that you know fung chao you know fung chao right mm-hmm we had him do it uh-huh and that sounds more racist have you ever done Kim Jong Un no yeah you have one with Kim Jong I did. Oh, I did. You're right.

What did I do? I'm trying to remember. You just had big glasses. You better scrub that. Mr. President. Yeah, better scrub that one. Delete that. Yo, even if it's a dictator,

you better not. Yeah. I should have a delete list. Just now. It's like, it changes every year. I know. There we go.

Give me some volume. Give me some volume. I would use a weird app on that. But it's your face. Just kidding. It's a double kidding. Believe me. Oh yeah, that's racist. Just get ready. But that looks like you.

That's a weird app. I don't know where I found that. Why didn't you use his face? It's a mixture. It is an app. I found that, but it is mixing my face. Why didn't you use his face? It's a mixture. It is an app. But the Trump one is just all Trump's face. The Trump, yeah, two separate apps. I couldn't, me, it's weird, but I have three different apps that I use. You look like one of the hotter brothers of Kim Jong-un.

Yeah, thanks, dude. That he would have killed. Well, he's hot now. He's lost a lot of weight. Has he? Yes. Oh, good for him. There was like CBS was making a big deal out of one of those networks.

He was making a big deal out of it. Dude, that would be great if he became the new- Slim and energetic he looks. Yeah, like him holding, he comes out holding his old pants. Yeah, old pants. Look at him. Oh, okay. Hey, it's me.

No, let's see what he looks like now. Thinner more energetic. Yeah, so it is. Whoa. It's CBS. And people are like, hey, CBS, what the fuck are you doing? Dude, you should hold. Hey, remember me, Kim from North Korea?

Look at him now. I mean, he looks. Probably Trump sent him some of his speed. Hey. Is that what that was, was speed? Because he's like a teetotaler, isn't he? I love that we were all scared of North Korea's nuclear bombs. They just did some cruise missile thing.

No one cares. You ever talk to Michael Malice about oh, yeah Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He knows a lot of shit. Yeah rules dear reader. That book is fucking incredible well, he says a lot of stuff about it because he's right about people making it kind of a joke and Take it like we know who's the I forget her name, but she has a thing. She's a defector from you own me park I had her name, but she's a defector from- Yonami Park. I had her on. So I saw somebody write that like, oh, she's saying stuff that's not true because other defectors say like, contradict what she says.

And he knew, which I wouldn't even thought of is a bunch of these people. It's like people that defect from Scientology, but don't talk about it, you know, because they'll come and get you. Chances are they could hurt someone back home or something. So they go, no, no, what she's saying is not true. Oh, I see. She's here. She's in America, right?

Yes. Yeah. So they're not all in America. Some in South Korea. And they'll come get you. So you got to watch what you say. So the other defectors have to say that that's not true. Yeah.

You might defected and still be under the thumb of, you know. Oh, yeah. And terrified. But I didn't even think of that. But he knows a lot that makes sense mouse is brilliant he's a brilliant guy and he's such a little fucking contradictory or a contrarian rather he's the best he's like so funny at like poking holes in people's theories and and like it says ridiculous shit like there should be no police like what ben shapiro's like a funny comedian now because he's like you know i resent watching him is so funny now i watch him

for comedy him talking about the tiktok and the culture this is the funniest thing of coming over ben shapiro shit is it's like he has things wrong like shut up ben shapiro but when he's right he's right and he's so twerpy of a guy like Does the impression so funny is like I'm right you know I'm right like he has such a twerpy I don't care about your feelings. Yeah, it's like it That's pretty goddamn good impression when's he been here last reason well. We were supposed to be here the week I got the Rona and oh really yeah, I got to reschedule them. Yeah.

Thanks for, you flew us in like first class. People should know. Thank you. My pleasure. Our flight attendant was the oldest man I've ever seen in my life. It looked like from the Adams family, he was like a lurch kind of guy. Like 90 years old. It was tragic that he worked there.

Yeah. He wanted to work. Well, he was, he gets in the thing. He looked like he was in incredible pain. Maybe he's trying to get away from his wife he goes i'm your stewardess he calls himself stewardess yeah so he's called himself a stewardess yeah he was that old where he just was and then at my side control my wi-fi and i was i was like i should not ask this guy but i was curious dude he was shaped like in the monty Python meaning of the meaning of life to like the when they have like the weird

you ever see that movie forever ago like in the 80s yeah when they have like the fish intermission it doesn't make sense and it's like a bent over guy with like one long arm that's what he's like hunched over when I asked about the Wi-Fi he goes does anybody know how the Wi-Fi yells it to the first class crew

and that guy was like, click this. And I clicked it. And I go, it still doesn't work. And he goes, good, thank you. He looked like the guy from Phantasm, but not as spry. Anyway, thank you for taking care of us. You're welcome. And you got a nice hotel.

We got a car. Kurt and I, we aren't used to being treated well. Hey, listen. I love you guys. It's nice. We just did three and a half hours. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's 430.

My God, thank you. Crazy. Yeah. My pleasure. Thank you. I think you had some water half hours. Oh my God. Yeah, it's 4.30. My God, thank you. Crazy. Yeah. My pleasure. Thank you. It's a good thing you had some water next to it. Thank God. Yeah.

Tell everybody how to get a hold of your show. KyleDunaganComedy.com. I got a tour coming up. Also, KyleDunaganShow at Gmail. If you're an advertiser, we're looking. And by the way, we're going to shut the door in like 24 hours. Wow. Just to put a little pressure on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you have 24 hours. Wow. Just to put on. Whoa. Sound cool. Put a little pressure on them?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they have 24 hours to contact you. Oh, that's it. To be an investor. Taking all our advertisers for the year. And we welcome if you're like a spray for your penis or something. Anything.

Yes. Yeah, we'll advertise. Hair drugs, anything. We sold a lot of blowjob machines. Nuclear waste. Blowjob machines? We actually did sell a lot of blowjob machines. For real?

For real, yeah. What is it? It's called Autoblow. And the guy doesn't have a lot of blowjob machines for real yeah what is it it's called auto blow and uh the guy doesn't have a lot of uh money but look i don't know i'm yes my dick wouldn't fit so i don't know that's that big it's fantastic a giant i don't think they sent us big enough sleeves but we make we make big commercials we don't just do a read like we do like a sketch and you know because we want to like retain but uh yeah nice yeah anyway nice um that's where i'll be kyle dunn to come like when you believe in a product it's easier um and then the youtube channel youtube slash kyle dunn again that's where i like people going because that's where we can actually make some

money because instagram is thank you yes youtube.com slash Kyle Dunn again Enjoy unlimited blowjobs from our advanced blowjob machines. This is real. Oh my god. They're gonna love that's what everyone says That should be the slogan. You'll say is this real that the way that thing is moving. I'm confused Oh, okay. You're seeing the guts the inside of it. It's to me. It's in the top hole It's just mind-blowing as old people see an Elvis the first time on TV You do it on pussy Look at that gyration. It's not right and Metzger tell everybody how to get ahold of you Oh Kurt Metzger comedy Smoked an entire joint. Yeah, I tell everybody. He smoked one of those speed weed

joints. Is that speed weed? That's crazy, that joint. Hundreds of milligrams of THC. Really? Oh my God. And before the show, he had one. Oh, well there you go. I know. I was probably less normal before it too. You have an amazing tolerance though. It's incredible. Because he went through the entire joint.

Wow. Never passed it around to us. No, he doesn't. He doesn't do that. He didn't think about it. What about COVID? We're all tested. We're good.

I've had it. That blows my alibi out of the water. When Kurt comes over, we get him food and stuff. And then one time he came over with a bag and I go, hey, can I have some of that as a joke? He goes, no, it's mine.

Didn't even share it. Remember that? I don't even remember that. Your eye. It does. He probably had the mud cheese. Instagram? Yeah,

Kurt Metzger Comedy on Instagram and my podcast Can't Get Right on Gas Digital. Can't Get Right? Yeah. Can't Get Right?

And is that like, do you have to subscribe to Gas Digital? I just had Malice on the last episode. Yeah, but it comes out on, it's on YouTube.

You can watch it. Okay. And we do a weekly podcast on the YouTube channel too. What is that? We crank out a lot. We call it the after party. So we do a live show, which is now Kyle Dunnigan's show. Now the live sketch show, we have to film little clips so I could change in a different

outfit, but you can't tell that it's pre-taped some of it. So you do it live in front of a live audience? You pre-record some of it and then do a transition. And then if he's going to be Biden, he's got to spray just the top of his head and put the hat on. It's a live sketch show. I don't think anyone's doing it.

It's a live sketch show on YouTube. Nice. So it's streaming live. It streams live, yeah. Yeah, Ryan Filippi did it, the last one. Really? Nice. He played the Biden game show.

Listen, what I said at the beginning, I stand by. I genuinely think you guys have legitimately one of the funniest shows of all time. Thank you. Thank you, sir. Thank you. You've been the best support. It's hilarious.

Thank you. Keep doing it, please. Love you, brother. Thank you. Love you, too. Thank you. Love you, too. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye, everybody.