The Joe Rogan Experience - #1751 - Brian Simpson

Episode Date: December 23, 2021

Brian Simpson is a standup comedian and host of the podcast "BS with Brian Simpson." He's also on Season 3 of The Standups on Netflix premiering on Decemeber 29.

the Joe Rogan experience we're up Ryan we're up we're here man what's going on brother good to see you it's happening it is yeah cheers sir thank you Merry Christmas Happy New Year all that good stuff yay you know what people you know how people started doing that why i don't know because during prohibition to to it was a way to try to tell if you had bullshit alcohol because if you banged it and it bubbled then you knew it wasn't it was really yeah because people would sell bullshit alcohol it's not funny because that's exactly what's going on with the fentanyl overdoses the reason why fentanyl is like rampant through this country is because people are getting this shit from mexico

because heroin's illegal so they're getting it from mexico they're getting the coke from mexico and it's laced fentanyl and all that stuff is is laced and all that's the reason why they do it they cut it to make it stronger so they can have less cocaine because fentanyl is cheap and that's why all these people are dying so they can transport more cocaine because fentanyl is cheap. And that's why all these people are dying. So they can transport more. Yes. Do you know the number one cause of death between people 18 to 49 right now is fentanyl? That's crazy. 100,000 people died last year from fentanyl.

That's a real epidemic. That is a real epidemic. That's crazy. Yes, it's crazy. Way more than died from COVID with the same age class. That's crazy. Yes, it's crazy. Way more than died from COVID with the same age class.

Yeah, we recently had a bunch of comics pass from Fentanyl. Yeah, that whole thing with Quigley and those three dudes she was hanging with. And then I remember seeing, you know, so I'm checking on my people that I know, you know, do a little bit of the powder. And I'm like, hey, man, you know, a lot of people are like, oh, like, I've got to leave this shit alone leave the shit alone They leave the shit alone. I was like, why doesn't everybody just test and he goes you can test it I was like, yeah, you can test it. He was like I Party tonight Dude if heroin was legal if cocaine was legal you'd get it straight from the source you'd get real cocaine That's not cut at all. It will be probably, I've never done coke,

but the way they describe it, it's like a much better experience, and then you don't have to worry about it, and then you know what you're doing. Yeah, I'm in the legalize everything camp, you know? Yes. We talked about it last time I was here. Just legalize it all.

Have it come, have the FDA. Exactly. It's scalable, right? It's like, what would you do if it was just the three of us? Imagine if it was just the three of us were on an island and Jamie's like, marijuana should be illegal. And we're like, what the fuck, Jamie? And Jamie wants to lock us up for marijuana. Like, that would be crazy.

We'd have to kill Jamie. Right. We'd just be like, well, there's two of us. Yeah, we're like, what the fuck are you talking about, man? But that's exactly what it's like with the government. With the government, it's like one person versus three or four, whatever it is. It's like a small group of people that are deciding that things should be illegal. And then it's a bunch of parents that don't want their children to get addicted.

And I understand that. I'm a parent. I don't want my children to get addicted. But that's what is happening. That's what is happening. That's what's happening. Here's always my pushback on that, right? Is all of the horrible things that have happened with drugs have happened during the prohibition era. Yes. So, you know, making it legal isn't going to make it more likely that your kids are going to get addicted.

In fact, they know, wasn't it the um where they study the people coming back from vietnam and they were like the people that did heroin over there would come back and the ones that had like loving supportive environments and family they stopped doing heroin yes yes so it's like i think that you know but it's hard to say that it's somebody that like lost someone right you know but yeah i've lost very good friends one of my best friends in life died of a drug overdose. He died from pills. I'm not exactly sure, but I think he was on Oxy's.

And this was in the early 2000s. It's an epidemic. I mean, it's terrible. But I feel like you should be able to make your own choices. Look, we're here drinking scotch. If I drank this bottle and you drank that bottle, we might both be dead. You know? We drank a whole bottle of this stuff.

Let's go to the hospital. You're going to get fucked up. If we drank all the liquor on that table, we just decided in an hour to drink all the liquor on that table, we'd be dead. 100%. But we're not going to do that. Right? We're adults. And I think the same would be the case if people had access to real cocaine and real heroin.

I'm not saying you should do cocaine and heroin. Look, I'm a fucking exercise fiend. I'm not thinking they should just go and do drugs all the time. You shouldn't. But you're an adult. You should be able to make up your own choices. And no other adult should be able to tell you what you can and can't do. All the things that you do that are illegal, that people blame drugs on, like driving under the influence

or going crazy and murdering people. We have laws already for those things. You already can't do those things. The drug is not the problem. The problem is, have you ever heard Gabor Mate talk about drugs and addiction? No, I don't know who that is. He's a very interesting guy.

He's an expert on drugs and addiction and all the real fallacies. What's his name? and addiction no it's a very interesting guy he's uh an expert on drugs and addiction and and uh and the all the the real fallacies what's his name Gabor Mate M-A-T-E um but he say it all comes from trauma I mean all these people that are like severely addicted all those people that you see that are homeless and they're just shooting up and smoking crack those people are all sexually abused physically physically abused, beaten. They've come from traumatic backgrounds. That's the problem.

The problem is not the drugs. But they lost everything. It's the environment. Yes. I remember the old, remember the Cat Williams joke where he's like, he's like, aspirin is perfectly legal. You take 15 of the motherfuckers, that'll be your last headache. That's true.

You know? That's a good way to put it. Yeah. It's like, but nobody wants to really address the environment thing because that's a bigger, that's not a simple fix. Bro, eat a pound of salt. You're dead as fuck. Take one pound of salt.

Eat it. You're dead. Yeah. I think you eat a pound of anything, you're pretty much gone, right? Well, not, no. You probably get away with a pound of sugar. Unless you're a professional. There's a lot of people get away with a pound of sugar. Unless you're a professional. There's a lot of people out there

eating a pound of sugar a day. Yeah. You know, for the longest time of my life, I never thought about it. Like, when you go to a restaurant over there and go,

this is a quarter pound of beef, or this is, you know, this is a half pound burger. And it's like, I never really put that together. Like, oh, I'm putting, I'm putting a half,

I'm putting a half a pound of meat in my stomach yeah that's not good for you yeah it is is it yeah yeah it doesn't matter how it's cooked bro people have been eating meat since the dawn of time there's nothing wrong with me what's wrong with people's diets is all the shit they eat with me that's why those epidemiology studies are so flawed because those studies are never done. They say like, you know, an epidemiology study is like they quiz a bunch of people, they give them a form to fill out and they say, how many times a week do you eat meat? And then they look for instances of cancer, instances of heart attacks, high blood pressure,

and then they make a correlation. The problem with that is they're not asking, what are you doing with the meat? Are you eating cheeseburgers on a sugary bun with a bunch of fries dipped in fat? Are you drinking it with a large Coca-Cola that's all sugar? What is your diet like? Are you smoking cigarettes? Are you doing this? Are you doing that? And then you'd get a better baseline. If you said to a person, what are you eating? And they say, well, I eat a 16-ounce grass-fed ribeye, and then I'll have some steamed broccoli or some sautéed spinach. Look at those fucking people.

They're healthy as shit. If you're exercising and your body's not overweight and you're taking care of yourself, there's nothing wrong with meat. I don't do any of those things. it no i gotta start i gotta i was telling her i was like i need to spend like a month at david gargan's house you don't want to do that no yeah he might fucking kill me you don't want to do that get up son there's no tomorrow have you ever have you ever kicked it with like chill with that dude oh yeah in his environment well i never worked out with him, but I've hung out with him multiple. I just hung out with him a couple days ago in Vegas.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I saw he was on the other day. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's right. I did go to Vegas, Jamie, but I only went for about four hours. This is what happened.

Went to Andrew Schultz's wedding, and then Whitney Cummings said, I got to leave at 645. I'm going to do a set in Vegas Vegas and then I'm going to fly back tonight at 10 o'clock. I go, really? And so it was me, Lex Friedman, my wife and Whitney. And we said, fuck it, let's go. So we went and Whitney did a private party at this lady's house with Dana Carvey. Yeah, some rich lady. And so we do this. We do the gig. And then we go back. They had gotten her a private jet. We go back, and the private jet was broken.

No pilot, no one to get back. So we wound up taking a fucking car. We had to get a car service to drive us back. To L.A.? Yeah, from Vegas to L.A. We got back at 5.30 in the morning. But in the meantime, we hung out at the Wynn for a little bit and hung out with David. I'm surprised David was like, let's run back. He was doing push-up contests with Lex.

I got a video of them doing push-ups on the floor of the Mirage or of the Wynn. Was it close? No. Of course not. No. Lex was drunk. David was so fast when he was doing push-ups. I saw that. Did you see that video?

Yeah, he just does them so fast. Bro, he does push-ups all day. There's no more disciplined human that's ever walked the face of the earth. It's insane. Yeah. It's insane. I wish I could tell you about his knee injury, but he asked me not to explain exactly what they had done. But you find out how fucked up his knee was, and now he's running thousands of miles on that knee.

You're like, what the hell yeah i had a one-off that's lex by the way was 30 hours of uh no food and just just drinking why was he why was he not eating i don't know he's not even knowing them correctly who was that guy's some just dude who just showed up look there was a whole bunch of people in the lobby just filming these guys doing push-ups. But look at Goggins. He could do that all day. All day. He'll do thousands of push-ups.

Yeah, you don't want to work out. You don't want to go to his house and work out. He'll wake you up at 4 o'clock in the morning. Who's going to carry the boats? You'll be like, what? What are boats? What are you talking about? We're in Nevada.

Yeah, he's an interesting dude. I'm following him on Instagram every morning. He's like, you're a pussy. Don't be a pussy today. Stay hard. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's what he did to himself.

The beautiful thing about that guy is that he was 300 pounds. He was overweight. He was drinking milkshakes and couldn't even run around the, and then decided to turn himself into what we see today. Yeah, I had a Warner officer like him when I was in the service. Yeah, man. He was like older than all of us and just smoking us every time. Like you couldn't give him an excuse. You know, because he was better than you at everything and older than you.

So it was like there was no my butt hurts I got a cramp so what? You know because his attitude was like so you're going to fail the mission

because you got a cramp? Right. Yeah in the military that's exactly how they have to look at it. You can't just wait for a day where you feel perfect.

Yeah but see when you got a leader like that in charge of you though when they're not just talking when they're doing it yeah you'll run through a wall for that in charge of you, though, when they're not just talking. Right. When they're doing it.

Yeah. You'll run through a wall for that motherfucker. That's the difference between someone who's a leader who is not walking the walk. Those people get resented. You fucking hate them. The moment you see them be a hypocrite. Yeah. It's like it's over.

That's the key. That's the key. And I think in companies, businesses and everything, it's like a person has to lead by example like that person like the people that are putting in the extra hours and extra work you want to do work for them but when they want to go home and they they tell you you know you got to stay till two o'clock in the morning to get this project done and you're like hey man fuck you you're gonna go home and you're gonna leave me here you get paid more money than me this is your company it benefits you that i do this work and and you're leaving i was just reading about um the peter principle have you heard of this no where it's like the the people at companies

that do the best work get stuck with more work and so the people the people that are left get promoted and so you so you you end up with like this diluted middle management that's like that's why people are miserable with their jobs just because your boss is almost always going to be someone that isn't better than you yeah yeah i think it's also so it's probably super hard to find a company to work for where everybody's friendly and everybody's just having a good time and enjoying life. I interviewed this guy the other day that he – so I was doing this thing for Netflix. It's called My Favorite Thing. So they let you take over the thing and then they find you people.

So my favorite thing was gaming, right? And they found me. I did it with Eric Griffin and all this. Oh, no. But then they went and found me two professors of gaming. So one of them, one of them, I fucking can't remember her name right now. But the guy, he was the professor of he was a psychiatrist, a psychologist. And he specialized in like the the mentality of gamers online and his whole thing

is that is how workplaces should be set up more like like games like the way they develop games the way they they market them towards the people the reward pattern and all that should be to avoid the peter principle right so it's like and and the lady she was the Peter Principle, right? So it was like, and the lady, she was the professor of informatics that focused on gamers, and her whole family games. She games with her kids, she games with her husband,

and we were just talking about how it changes the bond. It's a bonding thing with your kids. It's a trust-building thing with your husband. You know what I'm saying? Right. So you have, like, team effort to go accomplish missions and shit. Yeah. Like, they were fucking playing Diablo on Nightmare.

They're family. You know what I'm saying? Like, you get one life. Can you imagine that? That's hard. Yeah. I can't trust my mom to heal me. You know?

Oh, man. I can't fuck with games. I'm too Ah. You know? Oh, man. I can't fuck with games. I'm too addicted. I have too much of an addictive personality. I would try to do, I would just try to play it all day. Well, yeah, man, I don't have a family, so it's, I can get sucked in, man. I mean, especially since, you know, now games are like, they're shameless. Games are 100 bucks, 120 bucks.

It's like, I'm going to put my time in this motherfucker right and do you play um the game by itself or do you only play online it depends on what it is yeah yeah it's um if it's like a competitive shooter or something like that i play that online the problem with those things is there's so many people that are doing them all day long and you get sucked into that and then you want to compete at the level that they're at and the only way you can do that is if you play all day long it's impossible it's this is this is another thing i was um i was telling fucking santino this but i remember being at the comedy store and i was in the back watching the overwatch playoffs on my on my phone and and then come you know comics catch you doing something ner, they start giving you shit like they haven't been

nerds their whole life. And people are giving me shit about it. Like, what are you doing? I'm like, this is the playoffs. They're like, what? It's like they look down on it because how amazed you are by something is about how far away you see yourself from being able to do it.

What's interesting, too, is if you were watching the World Chess Championship, they'd be like, oh, Brian's smart as fuck. Oh, right. Well, I watched that, too. Right, but you know what I mean? There's games that are acceptable. Right, but not that. Yeah, you could even watch tennis, right? Tennis, anything that people don't think they could do.

Right. But people see people playing a game and go, well, I play games. But it's like, no, this motherfucker is so much better than you. He is as much better than you at games as michael jordan is better than you at basketball yeah yeah and you it's hard for you to accept because he's 13 years old you know what i'm saying and you can't wrap your head around the fact that he'll whoop your ass at every game you own yeah that's true's true. Yeah, these kids, like the high level, because a lot of times the kids, the people that are winning these tournaments and stuff, they're good at everything. They'll win a tournament in another game, too.

They get recruited. They get bought from other people, from other teams. It's serious business. They're making millions of dollars. There's real money in it now, but we were kids. You were told that playing video games was a waste of time. That mentality is still stuck in our head. You cost me millions, Grandma.

But still, for a lot of people, it is a waste of time. Yeah, because even still, it's just like athletes. It's like the top 1%, the top less than that one percent of people go pro and like actually make a living but isn't that argument couldn't you make that same argument about comics like you you just had uh you have a new netflix special that's out right now yep and um how many fucking comics start out and never have a netflix special from open mic to netflix special 99.9 oh Oh yeah, for sure. Same thing.

You're right. You're right. And so I, I think it, it, it rolls back to, it's two things. It's,

it's accurate self-assessment, which a lot of people lack the ability to do that. And then it's also having people around you that love you enough to be like, this ain't it for you. You know what I mean? Cause, cause, cause it's like like because it's like your your your friends will like like like say your breath smells like shit at the party right your friends that love you will be like hey man you know yeah eat this man your breath smells like shit but the but people that are just acquaintances or whatever

they'll just wait till you walk away and go joe's breath smells like shit did you smell that you know what i'm saying? Yes. And so it's like, it's somebody around you got to love you enough to be like, bro, you got to stop this. But some people,

if they keep going, they will make it. Like it's so hard. It's especially in the early days of comedy, man, it's hard to tell. Yeah. It's hard.

I've been wrong. I've been wrong. I've been wrong too. I've been like, he done got it, man. I'm sorry. And I feel bad for some people too. And it's delususional because here's the other thing too you don't know you have to

believe that you can right but but you gotta know you gotta know and but you don't know if you're one of those people that's right or one of those people that's delusional and you sometimes the difference between someone who's right and delusional is just effort it's just willpower effort time sometimes not though sometimes they're just lacking the gene yeah some people don't got the they don't they're because because because the only time i'm i'm 100 certain that somebody isn't gonna make it is if they're not funny they have to you have to be funny to be able to do the work to get without saying any names there's people that have made a career in comedy that are not funny at all mark norman for no i'm just kidding mark he said it no not me mark is also on season

three of the stand-ups with uh me no but there are like mark norman's brilliant but there are legitimately like non-hilarious people they just it's not going to happen right but yet they make a living doing comedy and you always see them you're always trying to get on spots, and they'll ask you to be on your podcast. You're like, yikes. Because, well, see, that's the thing. I don't know if I mentioned this last time, but I realized something about the business. Is that you can have talent or a lack of shame. Or some mix of the two.

Because those people you're talking about, they have no shame. They don't care if it's the 50th time they've asked you to be on your podcast. They don't care if it's at your wedding. They don't care if they saw you running the bathroom and you're taking a shit and they knock on the stall and go, hey, Joe, just wanted to bother you real quick. They don't feel bad at all because they know and they've learned from experience that eventually they'll wear you down to where you give it to them just so they'll leave you the fuck alone. Yeah. You know?

And if you got no shame, you good. There's a lot of people like that too, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of no shame people. But there's a lot of people that just just it seems like their version of reality is different than what you and i see it's like they they think they're doing well when they're not like they'll go on stage and they think they're they're getting laughs but they're not like they'll get a little sympathy laugh here and there and they think it was good i don't get it i don't know how that is

it's like somebody being tone deaf it's crazy people i don't know man you know it's like like what makes it i mean you know you know the concept of an npc you know non-player character there's a lot of people out there that literally are that they're real like it's a horrible thing to say yeah that they're inconsequential humans but there are people that for whatever reason they never connect with people. All the friendships they have are very surface level. They never have real love. They never really care about people.

They're always just weird fucks. Well, they're psychopaths. I was just listening to something the other day about how we, you know, there's a list that came out maybe five, six years ago, and it was like the top 10 professions that psychopaths go to.

One of them was like CEO, surgeon, and people always forget about the other seven. You know, it's like there are psychopaths all around you. There's a bus driver that he doesn't feel. Right. Is that a sociopath or psychopath? That's what I meant. They're real similar, though. So the distinction between sociopath and psychopath. What is the distinction?

Because someone was explaining it to me once that there's not much difference between a sociopath and a psychopath. Maybe a psychopath acts maliciously against people, whereas a sociopath doesn't feel anything. I think that they've slowly started to conflate the two. You know, maybe in the, what is that book that has all the mental health shit in it? The MS, you know what I'm talking about? No. But there's a book

that defines everything. Maybe it's called the DSR. Okay. Okay, how sociopaths are different from psychopaths. Both are a form of antisocial personality disorder.

Sociopaths is a term people use often arbitrarily to describe someone who's apparently without conscience. In most cases, a description blithely tossed about to label a person as being either hateful or hateworthy. The same applies to the term psychopath, to which many people suggest a sociopath who is simply more dangerous, like a mass murderer.

While the characteristics of sociopathy and psychopathy may overlap, sociopathy is an unofficial term for an antisocial personality disorder. Psychopathy is not an official diagnosis and is not considered APD, antisocial personality disorder. The terms sociopath and psychopath are often used interchangeably. Each has its own clear lines of distinction that can be broadly described. And what is the clear lines of distinction? Yeah, that didn't help. Oh, okay. The difference.

Okay. Sociopaths makes it clear they do not care how others feel. Psychopaths pretend to care. Oh. Psychopaths display cold-hearted behavior. Sociopaths behave in hot-headed and impulsive ways. Sociopaths prone to fits of anger and rage. Psychopaths fail to recognize other people's distress.

Psychopaths have relationships that are shallow and fake. Sociopaths recognize they are doing but rationalize their behavior. Psychopaths maintain a normal life as a cover for criminal activity. So psychopaths sounds like a serial killer. A sociopath sounds like a comic. Am I the only one that was just thinking, I think I fucked a few psychopaths. For sure. Or sociopaths.

This cold hearted behavior, yeah. Well, there's a lot of people that are broken from whatever trauma they experience when they're young. And they carry that into adulthood. But they mask it with fake caring and fake empathy and you know and they use the right word there's a lot of sociopaths that are woke because they use that they use that to attack people they use this there's like a list of things they can attack you for and they use as an excuse to be a horrible person. Oh, yeah, that's the new trend. It's like, well, everyone is looking for permission to be their worst self.

Right. You know? Right. It's like, I would normally burn down your house with your kids inside, but, you know, you voted for... You voted for Trump. Yeah, so fuck you. Yeah, that's it.

I face that a lot where it's like, I remember back doing all the social uproar and I posted that like people are, a lot of people are narcissists disguised as activists. Like they're, they are, it's really about them and the cause is their cover for being a piece of shit. Right. Yes. And then the activism is something that gets them brownie points, gets them social brownie points. But there's people out there that's really about their life, though. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that'll fucking throw hands or shoot something.

Yeah. Then I believe you. Yeah. Yeah, you know? There's people that are really good people that dedicate their life to charity. And then there's people that are dedicating their life to charity so that other people know that they're a good person.

Yeah, it's the same kind of people that used to be like, do it for the children. But it's really their way of being an adult, like controlling what you can watch and what you can listen to. Right, right. That's a natural inclination to human beings, to force people to do things and to make people behave a certain way or speak a certain way or do certain things that they want you to do.

You're seeing that a lot in today's culture with this vaccinated versus unvaccinated argument, that there's a lot of people that want unvaccinated people to be refused medical care and be ostracized from society. And even though as time's going on, we're realizing that even vaccinated people are catching COVID and spreading it, particularly with this new version of it, which I keep hearing is a good thing. I keep hearing this Omicron. I've talked to a doctor, and he was explaining that this is essentially like a live vaccine. He goes, this is not good to catch. He goes, but it's way better than any strain of COVID we've ever seen before.

There's no deaths so far registered in America except one guy that's in Texas that had a bunch of health conditions, and they're not even saying now that it was COVID that killed him. They're now saying he had it when he died, which is, this guy was fucked up. They're not personally, but when they say that publicly,

that's a clear indication that there's something really wrong with this guy. They're not saying what it was But I'm assuming if it's the only guy that's died in this whole fucking month and a half period this shit's been spreading through this country Well, you know, I think that all of that is just a symptom. The problem is people don't trust the government They don't trust the media because they always fucking lying Yeah, you shouldn't trust the government or the media. I I remember, I don't know if it was when I was a kid, but it would be like, oh, if the president came on TV and said some shit, you believed the shit.

Right, 100%. But it's like, once we started finding out, oh, these motherfuckers lie about everything. Once Clinton started lying about blowjobs, everybody was like, what? Well, yeah, that did. That started it. Nixon was the chip. Oh, yeah. Well, actually, that did. I mean, well, Nixon was the chip. Oh, yeah. Well, actually, Kennedy was the first crack.

Because people started, you know, when they covered up all the paperwork. And this is what's so funny. They still keep pushing that shit down the line. I know. Every president, no matter which side you're on, every Republican president, every Democratic president since. Every time those papers supposed to come out, they fucking cover the shit up.

It's wild, isn't it? Like, what is in those papers? Yeah, because there was a time where I thought that the James Webb telescope, I thought the Kennedy shit would come out before the depth telescope was ready.

Because I'm a nerd with that kind of shit. And it was like, I've been waiting on this telescope for a minute. Yeah. And every time I was like, well, I'll find out who killed Kennedy

before that. I don't think that's true. That scope's gonna be launched before we know who killed Kennedy. Before those papers are released. The only reason they could still be secret is because I think it would probably cause mass hysteria if people

found out that like the CIA was involved or something like that. They had to be. That's the only reason why they would keep it under wraps. That's the only reason. There's no other reason. There's no logical reason why they wouldn't release those papers. Yeah, it's insane. Because even if people involved are still alive.

Can I smoke a cigarette in here? Mm-hmm. The people that I'm quitting when the special come out, mom. Do you want a cigar? No, no, no. Last time I did that shit, it fucked me up. Cigars fucked you up? How so?

It just made my shit all dry. I mean, this ain't healthy, but I'm an addict. It's definitely not healthy. I'm just making excuses. I'm an addict. How often do you smoke them? Cigarettes? Yeah.

God damn. I'm an addict. How often do you smoke them? Cigarettes? Yeah. God damn. I don't know. Probably. You know, it changes when I'm doing comedy or when I'm performing. You smoke more? Yeah. Interesting. I smoke more when I'm at the comedy store and shit.

Because everybody else is doing it? It's social. No. No one else does it. No one? Very few. Kind of bullshit ass. Like most people

Like Now it's the era Of the healthy comic Ah those motherfuckers Mmhmm They judging you Judgers God damn judgy fucks

Ma special comes out today I'm done That's it? You're done? I told her I told her when it comes out I'm done And what are you gonna do

To replace it? You gonna do gum? You gonna do The shit you put in your mouth you know those I was hanging out with Schaub at Schultz's wedding and he takes those little dip pouches shoves them in his mouth he grabbed three of those motherfuckers and stuck them inside his cheek like a squirrel and I go what are you doing he goes I'm an addict he goes I'm a straight addict I can't do it man the dip shit so this so one do shit. So one time when I was deployed, we had our little, this was my second deployment, so

by this time we had more comforts and shit, and we had our little 12 by 6 can or whatever. But my can, and there's six Marines sleeping in one of these things. Fun. But my can had, we had negotiated with the locals and we had a TV. Ooh. We had an Xbox and we had a little makeshift couch that we had built

and like made comfortable. So everybody would come in our room and like watch Sopranos or play, or come in our can and all that shit. And this one motherfucker, I can't remember his name.

Anyway, this son of a bitch had this weird habit of leaving his dip bottles every fucking way. Right? Oh, no.

Yeah. And one day, I'm sitting there, I'm drinking my shit, and I put it down by my feet, and I reach back down, and I grab it, not looking, mouth full of dip spit. Yeah, it took three people to pull me off that motherfucker. It wasn't fair to be mad at him for real for not paying attention, but I can, you know you have those events where you- Can't control yourself.

You relive them. Every time I think about it, I can taste it. And I just, I could never dip. I could never dip. And I'm still mad about it. I've dipped.

It definitely gives you a nice little head rush, but not as good as cigarettes. Cigarettes give you the best head rush. Yeah. It's like a woo. I love, but not as good as cigarettes. Cigarettes give you the best head rush. Yeah. It's like a woo. I love a cigarette before I go on stage.

I don't know how I'm going to replace that. Like right before. You're going to try to use a Juul or something like that? I don't know. That doesn't work good enough. No, I think you just have to stop. You just have to stop. I started, I had this book called The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.

And everybody that I've got to read the book, they've stopped. But I've never finished it. What does it tell you to do? So the premise of it is basically like instead of telling you the reasons you shouldn't smoke, they attack the reasons why you say you smoke. Like all the reasons people give and they show you that they're just excuses, that you're just as much of an addict as a crackhead. That doesn't help you.

I think what helps people is things like Ibogaine, mushroom trips, things like that. Oh, yeah. I know a lot of people that my buddy, actually, he just left. He moved down here, actually. Mitch, I can't remember Mitch's last name, God damn it. Anyway, he quit after a mushroom trip. He was like, he ditched rooms and was like, nah, I was just done.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you start thinking about what you could be doing to your body. You know, what could be happening inside of your body. Yeah, so maybe I just need a picture of a tumor to just hang over my neck.

Or a health scare. A little bit of health scare. Well, I've had enough of those. That doesn't stop people, really. No? Cigarettes? No, it's people that's dying in the hospital now that's still sneaking out to smoke cigarettes.

Yeah, but that's just because they know they're dying. I'd rather just take the cigarette now, other than die and not enjoy a cigarette, because you're already dying. So you're saying the type of health scare where they're like, look, if you stop now, you'll be okay. But if you don't stop now, yeah, maybe one of those.

Something's gotta like, they gotta show you your lungs where you see the blackness, like the tar and all the fucking decay. Oh yeah, dude. Have you seen like a smoker's lung when they pull it out and they put it next to a healthy person's lung on an autopsy table? Yeah, and it looks... It's wild. It's, yeah.

See if you can find a video or a photo. They do autopsies of these people who die of lung cancer and lifetime cigarette smokers. And their fucking lungs, they look like they're just covered. Look at that. Look at that fucking lung. It's like lung jerky. Look at that one. The black lungs of a chain smoker, the one in the upper left. Click on that. Look at that fucking lung. It's like lung jerky. Look at that one. The black lungs of a chain smoker, the one, the upper left. Click on that.

Look at that. That is insane, man. That's so insane. That looks like someone. Oh, my God. Look at that next to a regular lung. That is so wild. One lung is like orangey, reddish pink, and the other one is literally black and white.

Like white tissue and black tissue. Fucking wild, man. That is wild. Terrible. God damn it. Look at that one up there. That one, the second down right below that. Look at that.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Look at, they're there. That one, the second down right below that. Look at that. Oh, Jesus Christ. Look at, they're all shriveled. This is like showing me stool samples while I'm eating. Yeah, but that's, if I'm still hungry, I'll still eat. Really? You can just put power through it? I was on Fear Factor. It's not real?

This is a computer. Oh, it's computer generated? Oh, okay. Oh. That's still pretty accurate. Probably accurate. But the one next to it is real. That's real. Man, what's wrong with that one down accurate. But the one next to it is real. That's real.

Man, what's wrong with that one down there? The one that looks like it has cheese on it. Which one's that? The one in the middle. Oh, it's pussy. What is that? Pulmonary pathology. Good God.

It's fucked up because the thing that scares people the most is not being able to breathe. You know? That's what's interesting. It's like that feeling that you can't breathe is terrifying to people. That's why drowning is so terrifying to people. But they say that the last days of a person's life when they're dying of lung cancer is like drowning. It's like you can't breathe and you're gasping for air. And it's like your lungs are filling up with fluid, and you can't get any oxygen in there.

Because all the sores are like popping. Ugh. As you tap and take another hit. You went through that cigarette quick, too. How many do you smoke a day? It varies. But a pack at the most. A pack.

Yeah. That's a lot. What is a pack? the most. A pack. Yeah. That's a lot. What is a pack? 16? How many is in there? 20. 20? It's actually perfectly formulated for you to smoke all day.

Oh, so if you start early and keep going? Well, it's like the rate that the nicotine gets out of your system. Yeah. And it's supposed to be like every 40 minutes or something like that. And so you have just enough cigarettes to smoke all day long. You know what's interesting? Like nicotine is actually a medicine. Nicotine itself, I think it's got heart applications.

See, like nicotine for heart. Nicotine. They use it to treat shit? Nicotine by itself is not bad, which sounds so crazy. And it's also a nootropic, meaning like it stimulates cognitive function. Like nicotine does stimulate. It's one of the things Stephen King said in his book on writing is that quitting cigarettes was very hard for him because it's like his writing suffered a little bit. It was harder for him to write.

Oh, dude. It's harder for him to write. Oh, dude. Because there's something about the cigarette that, like, it fires up the synapses, it fires up the brain, and then the writing would come smoother. Yeah, I don't know because I've smoked all the time I've been doing comedy and writing. So, man, that would be like torture. Like, if I couldn't, if the ideas came to me less. Yeah. I think that's what he was saying.

But I think you could probably get around that with other stuff that's good for you, like Alpha Brain and, you know, there's a bunch of different nootropics. You can take that gum that you were chewing on earlier. You got some Alpha Brain in here? Yeah, it's right here. This is the new shit. This is the Alpha Brain black label. It's the strongest version of Alpha Brain we've ever made, it's right here. This is the new shit. This is the Alpha Brain black label.

It's the strongest version of Alpha Brain we've ever made. That shit's the bomb diggity. Can you get me some of this shit? Fuck yeah. I'll give you a bottle. You can take that. Hell yeah. Well, I'll give you a fresh one.

Okay. That one's half empty. Hey, I'm going to be the guinea pig. I'm going to come back. Because this is my last day. Okay. Well, this stuff is very good. That stuff I take before any UFC.

Anytime, like if I'm doing a podcast with a scientist, I take those. Like sometimes you'll see in the beginning of a podcast, I'm like, oh, Jesus. I'll throw six pills down, throw it. And I would think they're probably like, what the fuck is he doing? Or you do a podcast with like a liar. Like when you had that Gupta guy on you. I don't think he's a liar. He's not a liar.

He's the face of he's the face of medicine in his eyes you know he's uh he's a neurosurgeon that's what he is you know he's a good guy i like sanjay a lot i really do he's just he's in a system you know the system doesn't tolerate any dissent or it doesn't tolerate anybody crossing lines and looking at things objectively or even taking a chance and looking at something that may or may not be. But why? Because you have to get hired and you have to keep working and you have to be accepted by your peers and all these other people are all squares. All those people he's working with are squares. But meanwhile, what the fuck is happening at CNN?

They keep catching pedophiles. What? Two different pedophiles have been busted at CNN. I didn't know that. One guy was Chris Cuomo's producer. And another guy was, I think he worked with Jake Tapper, who I respect very much. I like Jake Tapper a lot. I think he's probably the best journalist

How do they catch him? I don't know man. There's all these stories online about it. There's creeps out there. There are creeps out there. They're real. They get regular jobs sometimes. You know and it's And often times they have jobs

where they're like I'm exposing the criminal underbelly of those kind of jobs. Yeah. Right. It's like, who is the biggest hoes? It's the girls who are always calling everybody else a hoe. Right. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. There's people like that out there. Who you least expect. Yeah. There's cops that are also criminals. That's a real normal thing. Like cops that become drug dealers and criminals and they commit crime and they've got like

a way to understand like how people get caught because they catch people. Yeah. Wasn't one of those serial killers? He ended up being a cop? Oh, for sure. One of the famous ones? Guaranteed. Yeah.

I mean, I don't know about famous ones but guaranteed or like or priests like touching little kids oh yeah well that's the darkest shit because the priests they're in this weird cult where you're not allowed to have any sex like that is the strangest fucking thing ever and you know the reason why they came up with that because the priests were fucking everybody the priests back in the day were like rock stars. Right, right. They were rock stars. They were banging everybody because they were literally the mouth of God.

Well, it's like that in all of the non, like all the Judeo-Christian faiths where you don't have that restriction. The pastors are rock stars. Oh, yeah. You know, like all the churches I came up in, the pastors were fucking everybody. Everybody, yeah. You know? Yeah. All the churches I came up in, the pastors were fucking everybody. Everybody. Yeah. Hey, Pastor Jacob. Like, oh, everybody's flirting with the pastor.

That's wild. Yeah. Or the deacon. Yeah. Yeah. Those pastors are banging everybody. That's always been the case. Remember Jim Baker and Tammy Faye Baker?

He was banging Jessica Hahn. Oh, I didn't know that. That was a big scandal. Those names sound familiar, but I don't remember the scandal. Well, the reason why I remember it is because, like, I'm older't know that. That was a big scandal. Those names sound familiar, but I don't remember the scandal. Well, the reason why I remember it is because I'm older than you and it was a big deal on TV because Jim Baker was one of those.

He's still on TV now. Now he sells disaster food and it's kind of hilarious. He sells disaster food and he sells it in these red bins, like these buckets of freeze-dried disaster gruel and like he he's like but if you don't have anywhere to put it you can use it as a table and like so they have these these things stacked up and they have like a tablecloth over it and they use it as like

stools and stuff and it's like where you store your disaster food so people people will fall people fall for anything nowadays man that's the thing when people don't trust the government and they don't trust the news yeah it's so easy to to get dude i've i've read some shit the other day about um uh this company called black oxygen organics have you heard of these no boo hashtag boo these motherfuckers this, Joe, they're selling dirt. They're selling people dirt, and they're telling me that it's a miracle cure. You can drink it.

You can bathe in it. What? You can put it in your hair. Yeah. Dirt. It's dirt. But is there something in the dirt? Nope.

Nothing? There's nothing special about the dirt. It's just dirt. And you're supposed to drink this dirt? You can drink it. You can put it in your bath water. People are washing their babies in this shit. With dirt?

What the fuck? Yeah, it's a multi-level marketing thing. Oh, my God. Magic dirt. How do I not know this? There's too many things to know. How the internet fueled and defeated the pandemic's worst MLM. What's an MLM?

Multi-level marketing. It's a pyramid scheme. Oh, pyramid scheme. Okay. Black oxygen organics became a sudden hit in the fringe world of alternative medicines and supplements where even dirt can go for $110 a bag. Yeah. What the fuck, man?

How did I not know this? When is this? When does that say? March of 20- What did it scroll up a little bit? December. Oh, recent. Okay.

When does that say? March of 20... What did it scroll up a little bit? December. Oh, recent. Okay. Social media posts started in May. Photos and videos of smiling people, mostly women, drinking mason jars of black liquid. Oh my God.

What the fuck? Slathering black paste on their faces and feet, dipping babies and dogs in tubs of black water. They tagged the posts, hashtag boo, and linked to a website that sold a product called Black Oxygen Organics. Difficult to classify, it was marketed as fulvic acid. Fulvic acid I've heard about. I think that's a real supplement, right?

Oh, that was dug up from an Ontario peat bog. The website of the Canadian company sold it as billeded as the end product and the smallest particle of the decomposition of ancient organic matter. Huh. Okay. Wow. There's a bunch of scammers out like we were talking about earlier. Sociopaths.

A gift from the ground, they called it. It's like, yeah, it's like you can, the reason stuff like that thrives is because people don't trust the official yeah there's a little bit of that and there's also a little bit of the they know that they're getting fucked over by pharmaceutical companies you know we played this ad the other day of this uh what was it a anti-sleep it was a sleeping thing it helps you go to sleep but they listed off all the things that could possibly be side effects including suicidal thoughts not being able to move your legs all these different things like

jesus christ like how about just stay up suicidal thoughts yeah oh my god it's a big it's a big problem yeah it's a big problem with a lot of uh anything that fucks with the mind like all these different things that fuck with your mind all these these different, even SSRIs, some of them have suicidal thoughts attached to them. It was that skin shit did that too, right? Oh, yeah. Yes, yes. Accutane. Accutane, yeah.

Yeah, fucking talk to Santino about that. Yeah, I did. I talked to him about that. Oh, my God. He said it was great because it stopped his zits, but he goes, he almost fucking killed himself. Like it was rough. That's crazy. Yeah.

I have several friends that had suicidal tendencies because of some sort of a pharmaceutical drug and sometimes it's the shit that's supposed to treat depression yeah because like i some of the stuff that i was on before because because because a lot of times what happens is when you're depressed you don't have the motivation to do anything so even if you want to die you don't want to do but when you start taking, you don't have the motivation to do anything. So even if you want to die, you don't want to do it. But when you start taking antidepressants, there's a point where you're still depressed enough

to want to kill yourself, and then you have just enough motivation to fucking do it. So the most dangerous time is when you first start taking them. Oh my God, so you got energy. Yeah, you get just enough energy, just enough motivation where you're like,

I think I can pull this off. You know? Have some of that. Is this weed? Oh, okay. Of course it is. I was looking into the lung thing. This is, I don't even know if I believe it, but it's in the article, so we'll go with what it says.

What? Lungs from pack-a-day smokers safe for transplant study funded by? I know that's where I started to get into it. R.J. Reynolds. It said 13% of double lung transplant people were, in quotes, like heavy smokers, which means at least a pack a day for 20 years, maybe two packs a day for 10 years. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Typically, there's been smoking at least a pack of cigarettes a day for more than 20 years or two packs a day for 10 years. Two packs a day is wild. In the end, after all variables were accounted for, people who got lungs from heavy smokers lived as long and as well as those who got lungs from tobacco-free. Yeah, but you know what they're saying, though? The thing is, people that get transplanted organs, they don't live that long. Look, I have a good friend, and he got a transplanted heart, and he's a wonderful person.

And he's on all sorts of crazy medication because of this. Oh, wait a minute. You talking about Superman? C.T. Fletcher. Yeah. Yes. Love him to death. Yeah, he's amazing.

He was my David Goggins before I knew who David Goggins was. Yeah. Well, he's super, super motivational. He's your motherfucking sick and he's become a different person post heart attack and post Transplant he's like like this really is he still doesn't take any bullshit or excuses But he's much more like loving and open and he realizes this new gift of life in this new take on life And also he thinks he's got a woman's heart.

He knows it's a woman, but he thinks it's an Asian woman. And he's not, I don't think they tell you that, but like he's like got feelings that he thinks. The heart has neurons in it, you know, and they think, they don't know where memories are exactly stored. Or there's some leftover, what are the cells that recover everything? I don't know. I think it's neurons. No, the shit they would use, they take from like fetus, from are the cells that recover everything? I don't know. I think it's neurons. No, the shit they take from like fetus, from stem cells. Stem cells?

Yeah, it could be like some residual stem cells like shooting through your body or something. Yeah, I don't know if your body contains memories in other things. It does. I don't know. It's called, no, they know it does. It's called yeah no that no they know it does it's called um god damn i didn't see i ain't i didn't take my on it um it's but it's called it's it there because they've they've figured out that there's something left in your dna from the trauma of your

grandparents and your parents i believe that there's so there's. What the fuck is the name of it? I believe that for sure. I don't know. Yeah, well, somebody will put it in the comments. People are screaming right now. You fucking idiots. If I was on that show. There's something to that, but if you get somebody else's heart, is their DNA

in the heart still? Obviously, it has to be. There has to be something, right? Because the heart is still beating. They get in your body. They they make it beat so it's the same tissue there are genetic memories though i would i would imagine that you know that's i think there was a study that showed and i think this was like a recent discovery over the last few decades that there's as many neurons in the heart as there are in the brain. See if that's true. Or maybe the second highest source of neurons in the body. And the idea was that whole idea of trust your heart.

Trust your heart being that it was actually not just a saying, but there's probably something to that. There's probably like instinctive, maybe even some kind of thinking that's done with that part of your body, which doesn't make any sense because we think of thinking, we think of the mind, we think of the – I googled the thing about the heart, but I was thinking something different than what you said, and I got the same answer for both things.

So it's very strange that there's two different things called the second brain or little brain, and I don't know which we want to go with. It says the heart has approximately 40,000 neurons. That are like neurons in the brain, meaning the heart has its own nervous system. Jesus Christ. So this is 91 that discovers this.

Check this one out. Okay. Stomach. Oh, my God. Well 91 that discovers this. Check this one, though. Okay. Stomach. Oh, my God. Well, that's the other thing. Your gut instinct. Sometimes referred to as the second brain is the nervous system of the gut. It contains some 500 million neurons.

Is that the same amount? Would it say for the heart? 40,000. Oh, my God. That's a lot more. How many in the brain, though? That's a good question. Billions.

Billions. Billions. So there's way more in the brain. And then the second is not the heart. It seems like the second is the gut, according to this. Because I've heard of things, what's the thing that, I think it's serotonin. I know it's like the happy thing and dopamine or whatever, but there's something, because there's a pill you can take that makes you not throw up.

And what it's doing is it's stopping that chemical from going from your stomach to your brain. It just sort of like kills that. I forget what it is. You know, there's a thing that vegans always say that like, and I think there's probably some validity to it. Ouch. This is the thing that a lot of vegans say is that like the diet promotes kindness. And I don't think it's just that it's kindness and that you're not killing an animal. I think there's probably also kindness in that you're eating only plants.

So your brain doesn't think it needs to think in a more vicious way. I think there's probably something to eating meat. Like Hicks and Gracie used to say that a lot Who were they? Hicks and Gracie is the greatest jiu-jitsu fighter of all time He's like the legendary patriarch of the Gracie clan He was the head dog Oh, okay

He was the guy like back in the day But he's not the most famous Because that's not the name I always Well, Hoist is his brother And Hoist was the guy who won the first ultimate fighting championship And a bunch of other ones Hoist will tell you He tells everybody that Hicks is 100 times better than him Hoyce was the guy who won the first Ultimate Fighting Championship and a bunch of other ones. Hoyce will tell you, he tells everybody that Hickson's a hundred times better than him.

Hickson was widely regarded as the man. There's not a lot of agreement in Jiu Jitsu because you're dealing with thousands of black belts, right? Thousands of killers. And there's guys at the elite, elite it's they're kind of interchangeable you know if you say like who would win it was salo hibero or this guy for rafael levato or that guy like these there's this level of jujitsu where everybody's an assassin right but hickson was the assassin of the assassins okay i like that hickson used to they used to do these seminars so hickson would teach these seminars and they would line up black belts, line them up like 10 world-class black belts. And Hickson would tap them one after the other

with no break, tap one after the other. And he wasn't doing anything like it was physically overpowering them. He wasn't like bigger than them. He wasn't unbelievably fast. It wasn't, he was all those things. I mean, he was like elite athlete, like they all were, but it wasn't that. It was his mind and his understanding of jiu-jitsu was superior to everyone else's. He had like innate talent, but he also had crazy dedication and discipline. And he had an understanding of jiu-jitsu that was off the charts. That's crazy.

You know who I've been following recently? Who? Have you heard of this kid, Mikey Masamuchi? Masamuchi, yeah. Oh, my God. He's an assassin. This fucking kid my God, he's an assassin. This fucking kid, man. He's an assassin. And he's likable, like Nunez almost.

He's a sweetheart, yeah. But I watch everything he does. Yeah. I think Musumechi is how you say it. Musumechi. Yeah, I've seen him live a couple of times. They do this thing in Austin. They were doing it once a month.

It's called Who's Number One. It's these professional jiu-jitsu matches that they'd have in Austin that they'd stream on Flow Combat or Flow Grappling. Yes, that's what I was watching

on Flow Grappling, yeah. Dude, it's wild to see them live, you know? I'm going to come back down next time that there's a lot. I will let you know. We'll schedule a podcast around it afterwards.

Okay, cool. We can go to it and then you can see it. That would be a good way if you get it in shape. You're a strong person. You would probably do great at jiu-jitsu. You think so? Yes.

You're a fucking house, man. Yeah, maybe. I mean, I got to do something. You're obviously not just overweight. You're very strong. There's a lot of muscle there. So if you just trim away at the fat and do it slowly where you don't hurt yourself like don't try to get crazy in the beginning just you got to check your ego you're right just learn and it's exhausting and the beautiful thing about that as you walk out of

there like you don't want any trouble about anything like everything is no big deal someone's just trying to kill you people are just trying to kill you oh yeah well there is there is there is something to there's something to being in shape and knowing that you can fuck most people up. It definitely helps. That makes you, it calms you. Yes. In a way that you don't start shit because the stakes are high. It's like walking around with a grenade in your pocket.

Exactly. It's like, you know, listen, either this is nothing or I'm going to kill somebody. Exactly. Right? And there's something about, that's why you never's why you don't see very many UFC fighters. You don't hear about them getting in bar fights. It's not the best ones, that's for sure. If you go to the top of the heap.

Well, John is a... Look, this is the thing. I'm not making excuses for anybody's behavior, but I am saying that the best of the best are wild they're they're risk takers no i agree like lawrence taylor yes like they're just they're crazy yeah i think you have to be like mike tyson i think you have to be to be that goddamn good there's a there's like a level of good you know like like hickson was never like an out of control guy in that regard you know there's a lot of jujitsu guys that are not out of control guys but they're the best of the best but there's some fighters that like the

thing that propels them is this like wildness that they have this ability to like in the moment take great risks and also be very creative in the moment and do wild things and sometimes that is the difference between the very best and the elite like john jones had some fucking close fights man this alexander gustafson fight that shit went to the wire well the first one yes the second one he destroyed the first one he literally wasn't training literally was not training crazy was not training imagine imagine being that confident were you like i'm not even gonna train it's there's a lot of psychology behind it and he was actually telling me i mean he was admitting it that there was fights that where he would got go out and party hard like

It really fucked up the week before the fight And he said I think I did it because I had a built-in excuse so that if I beat them or you know beat them I beat these motherfuckers even from partying, but if he loses he goes yeah, but I was partying So he kind of proved that with the Gustafson fight Like he won the fight and he won the fight in the fifth round too by the way the fifth round He poured it on Gustafson when he wasn't even in shape, and he wasn't even training. That's how good John Jones is yeah I love watching him fight bro. There's that division you got to realize that division is super ultra Competitive right unless John Jones is in the mix then it's not competitive

yeah john jones dominates everybody well that's what that's what i that's why i was so like when nunez lost like i almost couldn't believe what i was seeing i was like yeah yeah because i'm sitting there watching with other people and i'm like and i and i and i bet money on the on the poirier fight who'd you bet on poor egg you bet on poirier yeah because i was like there's no way he just came off that the fights with connor i was like there's no way he's gonna lose but but but i you know i'm not as big a fan as so my homie is the one he's the joe rogan in our group where he knows so much because if there's anything i don't understand he just explains it you know yeah he was trying to tell me no man olivera's a fucking monster and i'm like olivera's a monster

people think of olivera as not being a monster because there's times that people have beaten him. Like Paul Felder smashed him. And there's a lot of guys that beat him. Cub Swanson KO'd him. Guys have beaten him. But he got better. And you got to accept that and not think of like when he lost. Because so many people.

Well, who gets better at 35? I don't believe he's 35. No? No, I think he's younger than that. And I think he's 33. And I also think that he got into the UFC when he was 20. And so part of the problem was he was learning and developing and growing in an elite organization. How old is he?

32. Oh, okay, wow. So, see, he's been around a long-ass time. But he came into his own over the last few years, which kind of makes sense. Like, he figured it out somewhere around 27, 28. But he comes, look, these guys are elite, right? They come close to beating him. But he finds a way to beat them.

And the way he does it is so final. The way he beat Poirier, man, that choke was so fucking good. It was so good. And that's the same way the world found out about him was Efrain Escudero who won the ultimate fighter so it was a very good fighter himself he fought Oliveira and Oliveira took his back same way standing up and choked him out and that's when we first saw him and that was the first time I recognized I'm like man this kid is talented and but then it was like his jiu-jitsu was really

good but maybe his striking wasn't as good as his jiu-jitsu and then slowly his jiu-jitsu and striking merged where there is like equal in both both of them he's lethal in he's lethal in his striking and lethal in his jiu-jitsu but the difference is his level of jiu-jitsu is a leap higher than most of the people he's competing against. I didn't realize that. He has the most submissions in the history of the UFC. Make sure that's true. I'm pretty sure that's true.

That also blew my, because they were saying that during the broadcast. Yeah. That blows my mind. But it's also like everybody, I'm always in my mind going, I want to see this guy fight Khabib. Oh, yes. That would have been the fight. And maybe it could be.

Maybe it could be still. I'd do anything to see that fight. Khabib. Oh, yes. That would have been the fight. And maybe it could be. Maybe it could be still. I'd do anything to see that fight. Look, maybe it could be still. Khabib might decide at one point in time, you know. Okay, Charles Oliveira holds the record for the most submission wins with a mind-boggling 14 wins. Click on that because I think it's 15 now. Because I think that might be an article that was written

before the Poirier fight. I think. I think. Ah, doesnier fight. I think. I think. It doesn't matter. Either way, Oliveira holds the record, and it's the way he does it, man. Jiu-jitsu is a wild thing. There's guys that are smaller than me, and I'll grapple with them, and I'm in deep danger from the moment you start sparring

because they're just so much better than me. They're just better. And that's the difference between Oliveira and these guys. It's like they're all really good standing up. He's really good standing up. So there's kind of like an even playing field. But when that motherfucker gets a hold of you, you're in deep danger. Yeah. Terrifying

danger where you can't make any mistakes. Oh yeah, 15. See? Damn, this brain is like a steel trap. That was in the article from 2020. Occasionally. Yeah, and he's like, yeah, it's him and Khabib are scary that way. Because after that fight, I went back and watched all his highlights and all. Yes.

No, you hear that. And it's like, yeah, there's a precision. There's a predator-like precision where he pounces on the, like as soon as you give him an opening, it's a wrap. Well, see, the thing is, Khabib can do that too, but Khabib chooses to smash you. Or the way he says it, smish. Smish. He smashes people.

Khabib smashes people. But if you look at the Justin Gaethje fight, Khabib submitted Gaethje. He almost submitted him in the end of the first round, and they submitted him in the second round. And one of the reasons why he did that, and this is supposedly, I don't know if this is true, but what they said is that, and I know this was true, that they do like each other. And that Justin actually helped

Khabib cut weight, sat in with him, because one of the things about cutting weight is if there's someone there talking to you, it helps you through it. Especially someone, they're also managed by the same guy. So they have the same manager and they got together. So when they had that fight, Khabib liked him. So he says, I'm just going to submit this dude. So he got a hold

of him, did his normal shit, gets his wrestling going, but then almost, this is the beginning of the first round, he chose to beat him in a way that he wouldn't have chosen to beat Conor. When he was on top of Conor, he smashed his face, and he was going, let's talk now! Let's talk now!

Bam! Bam! Let's talk! Bam! Just beating the fuck out of him. See, in this, he chooses to go straight to an armbar. It's very unusual for him. But this is Khabib's respect for Gaethje as a person, as a fighter, and also

he can do this. He can do this. This is the end of the first round. So he almost catches him at the end of the first round with an armbar, very close. But the end of the second round, yeah, he gets a hold of him, dumps him, takes his back. I mean, it's just the precision, and then he decided to go for a mounted triangle. And so when you watch him do this, he does this with such amazing control.

He's doing it very quickly. Look how quickly he sets this up. He's just deciding he's going to do it, period, from the jump. Then he locks in the triangle, and that's a wrap, son. That is a death triangle. Look at him. Justin has to tap. There's no question at all.

He's going out. And the referee lets him go, and Justin's out cold. He didn't struggle at all. Yeah, he tapped, and then he went out. But the way he did it, he went through him. He went right through him. I think Khabib could do that to almost anybody, except maybe Oliveira.

I think Khabib, the guys that Khabib beat, that he smashed, I think a lot of those guys he could have submitted to. I think Khabib is that elite, especially at the later stages of his career when he was just the GOAT. He's arguably one of the absolute best submission artists, even though he smashes so many people. Othmane Khabib?

Yeah. He's arguably one of the very best submission artists as well as being one of the greatest fighters of all time. You watch the way he goes through gates, you like that? That is elite, high-level precision submission. Oliveira does that too. Oliveira does it, man. That's what makes you think, like, wow, that would

make the fight with Khabib so interesting. And I know Khabib has a lot of respect for him too, because Khabib said to Gaethje, there was an article that I was reading where he was saying, hey, you gotta be aware of this guy. This guy is fucking for real. This guy is really dangerous. People look at some of the losses that Oliveira had. You can't look at those.

You got to look at the wins. You got to look at who he is now. Don't look at who he is five years ago or six years ago. Look who he is right now. Was that the last time he lost? I think if – no, I don't think it's that long ago. He had a fight with Felder, and he caught Felder, I believe, in a guillotine, and then Felder got out of it and smashed him and stopped him.

But Felder's the fucking man. People forget how goddamn good Paul Felder is. Paul Felder may have retired and may have never won the title, but push the top back. Push the top back. The other way. There you go. Now do it. But Felder is an elite fighter.

He's an absolutely elite fighter. There's a thing when you get to the top level of a division where it's on any given Saturday night. Any given Saturday night, one guy could be going through camp with a back problem. And, you know, he's trying to nurse a fucked up knee. And he's trying to do his best. And he keeps the fight anyway. So this is Felder. So Oliveira's got his leg here he came really close to a leg lock but Felder can grapple and he's also very strong and very big for the weight class so Felder eventually wound up on top and Felder beat the fuck out of him on top look at these

nasty smashing elbows from the guard I think this is the last time that Oliveira lost, and if I want to guess this is 2018, I'm taking a guess. The video that I have here was posted 21, so it's not from then.

Yeah, it's not from then. I want to say that fight was 2018. But again, Felder's a fucking monster. But I think he was the last guy to beat Oliveira. I'm not sure about that, though. But who he is right now, though? Right now, that guy is the fucking man.

That's who he is. I'm super excited to see him against Gaethje. Him against Gaethje, that's a real fucking test. Not that Dustin wasn't a real test, too. But Gaethje is another kind of real test. I'm waiting to see. Yeah, Felder's his last see. I want to see. Yeah, Felder's his last loss.

So that was 2017. Okay. I want to see the Nunez rematch. Yeah, that's going to be interesting, man. If there was anything that felt like a sure bet, it was betting on her, man. I was completely in disbelief. One of the biggest upsets ever, if not the biggest upset. I said it was the greatest upset in the history of combat sports.

In the moment, I thought that. And in time, I thought about it. I said, well, all combat sports, you got to go to Buster Douglas versus Mike Tyson. I think that's the biggest upset in the history of combat sports. Or maybe all the sports. Yeah, but when it comes to MMA, Holly Holm against Ronda Rousey was very close, too. That was close, too. A lot of people thought Ronda was unstoppable.

Yeah, I think in the moment, people felt that way. But afterwards, looking back on it. But they didn't think that Holly was incompetent. And they didn't think that Juliana was, either. But Holly was an eight-time world boxing champion. She was a kickboxing champion. Everybody knew she was a nasty threat on the feet. Juliana did not have the same sort of credentials in terms of the things that she's won.

So everybody knew she was really tough. Everybody knew she wanted that fight. She was calling for that fight. When nobody wants to fight Amanda Nunes, she beats the fuck out of people. She knocked out Cyborg in one round. She didn't look the same. Dude, there's a lot in fights. A lot happens Nunes. She beats the fuck out of people. She knocked out Cyborg in one round. She didn't look the same. Dude, there's a lot in fights. A lot happens in fights.

She looked thinner. She looked... Because she didn't always have that definition. You know what I mean? Well, you got to realize the last two fights she's been fighting at 45 because she's the champ at 45 and 35. So this is a fight at 35.

And you know what, man? She might be experiencing some sort of a mental breakdown like she said she checked out mentally she said she just checked out which is crazy but sometimes that happens to champions because they're like there's so many people coming to get you all day long everyone's coming to get you imagine being a guy who's a champ like an Israel Adesanya and all day people are just coming to get you. All day. People are talking shit and they want your title. All day.

All day. That's your day. Forever. And year after year after year, sometimes I think people just get exhausted by that shit and then they fall apart. That's a possibility. She also could have not trained very hard because she didn't think that Juliana had it in her and she thought she was going to beat Juliana in the you have like or you don't have anything in front of you you know yeah

everyone's behind you everyone's below you right you're not maybe you're just putting in work and you don't feel like you're working towards anything yeah you could get overconfident there's a lot of that and there's also juliana she's a fucking animal that lady's an animal she's so tough like she took it to her on the feet, man. She hung out in a phone booth with the greatest knockout artist in the history of both bantamweight and featherweight division. The way she knocked out Chris Cyborg at featherweight. You got to say, look, this is the greatest female combat sports athlete of all time. And Juliana was in the pocket with her, slugging her.

And fucking her up with a jab, too. That was a big part of that fight. Yeah. Juliana kept cracking her with that jab. Like, just the first time I saw her, I was like, stumble back. I was like, what the fuck? I know. It was wild.

And she got tired. She got really tired in the second round. But you know what? Sometimes a champion like Amanda Nunes needs to have something like that to just get you back on track. Oh, yeah. Well, her next fight's going to—everyone's tuning in. Another example is George St. Pierre. When George St. Pierre fought Matt Serra, most people thought George St. Pierre was going to burn through Matt Serra.

But Matt Serra cracked him in the first round and KO'd him. And George actually tapped to strikes, which back then was kind of a ridiculous thing that you should never tap to strikes. But George is an intelligent guy, and he knows when he's in real trouble. He's about to go out. He had to tap or just go unconscious. But either point, that was a giant upset. And then George became the George we all know after that fight. Because after that fight, he became much more focused and then much more disciplined

and much more ferocious inside the octagon it's like he recognized that it could all go away he's in your goat oh yeah that's right oh yeah it has to be it's like there's a bunch of them right like you got to go with hoist gracie because he started this shit you know like yeah there was nobody knew what the fuck fighting was until hoist came around. We all had these goofy ideas of what fighting was. You know, when you watch that dude wrap his gi around you and drag you to the ground and strangle you with his collar, everybody was like, what? When there were no weight classes. No weight classes. He's fighting gigantic dudes with no rules.

Fucking no rules. They were pulling hair. You know, they were punching nuts. You had to watch that shit on the the on the on the dvd yeah but you bought from the guy that sold you the jackass and you get the movies from korea the fight movie you have to put hoist in your mount rushmore you know if you have a goat list you have to put hoist in there somewhere he's he's up there he's he's up there he's the most important figure in the history of martial arts and then when you call it when you and then in

terms of entertainment value though i gotta put got to put the spider in there. Oh, yeah. Anderson in his prime? Because obviously before, I would watch UFC if it was around. Like if somebody had one of the DVDs. And then when they first started getting on pay-per--view and I remember being at my boy's house in Boston And I think this was the this was the year the Red Sox broke the curse. So what was that? 2012

But anyway, and I remember watching him Just just play with that school teacher. What was his name? Rich Franklin Rich Franklin Yeah, play with because he was insulted that insulted that they picked him to fight him. I don't think that's true. No? He actually had a very friendly relationship with Rich Franklin. He actually liked Rich Franklin.

Okay. And at the end of the fight, after Rich Franklin got smashed the second time, Rich Franklin actually said very nice things about him. Like, he's a good man, and don't boo this man. This man is an amazing person. He is. I mean, Rich is an amazing person, right?

Rich is an amazing person, but I think Anderson and him were friends, especially towards the second fight. It's just Anderson was so much better than him. That's what I'm saying. He would win in ways where it looked like he would do stuff you would see in a movie. Yeah. Well, he did an upward elbow. You want to hear this crazy story?

There was a crazy thing that he saw in an Ong Bak movie, where it's a step forward to the side upward elbow. And he kept telling people that he was going to knock this dude out with an upward elbow. And his trainer was like, hey, man, you got to stop fucking around. Don't try to do stupid shit like that. Don't train game plan you're fighting a tough guy and so he had his wife hold a pillow at home so he wouldn't even practice it in front of his coach so he'll go home and have his wife hold a pillow and anderson would step in blap step in and stepping in with this crazy elbow

and they decided he was going to use it in the fight check this out watch this oh my god I mean that's how good Anderson Silva was what is this trainer saying after this his trainer probably went fuck you know you only see a guy like that once in a lifetime if you're a coach and usually it's on the other side. Usually you're facing them. Anderson in his prime, and he came into his prime in that organization too. That was an organization in England. Was that called Cage Warriors? Cage Rage.

Cage Warriors is the new one. There's another organization like that that's like a top-level organization in England. But in Cage Rage, he fought a lot of guys and uh he fought lee murray and that was a gigantic fight because lee murray was that crazy english hoodlum the hoodlum who uh robbed the bank you don't know the story he was a part of the biggest bank robbery in like the history of great britain oh wow it's like some fucking lock stock and two smoking barrels type shit like they made a movie about it they made them well they're making a

movie about a guy richie is making a movie about lee murray that's how wild this fucking dude is he's still in jail right now there's like i think they stole like 80 million dollars something crazy like that but these guys had like full-on tactical gear, fucking machine guns, like the whole thing. UFC fighter Lee Murray who robbed a bank for $90 million. Wait a minute. So this was – wait a minute. So he robbed the bank and was fighting in the UFC. He was fighting in the UFC while he was a full-on criminal.

I love that shit. I mean a full-on criminal. That's real outlawlaw like how can you be see that's that's the kind of shit you were talking about yeah with john jones wildness where it's like i this isn't enough this is not enough adrenaline been in the ufc well um go to the fight that he had with anderson because everybody was scared of lee murray everybody was scared of lee murray anderson i didn't know that he of Lee Murray. Anderson pieced him up. Anderson pieced him

up, man. Anderson toyed with him. He played with his food. And this is in the UFC? No, this is in Cage Rage as well. But it was a tough fight because Lee Murray came for blood. And this was in Anderson when he was in his 20s. We got to realize the Anderson that we got in the UFC, we didn't get him until he was

like 33 or 34, I believe, was his first fight. Was he already past his prime when he got to the UFC? No, no, he was riding the very peak of his prime. But I think he came into his prime in cage wars, in cage rage, rather. Because in cage rage, he fought real tough guys, and there was a big organization in England, but most of the people in America did not know these fights were going on. And he's fighting guys like Jorge Rivera. He's fighting Lee Murray.

He's fighting Tony Fricklin. And I forget who else he fought in there. But, dude, I'm telling you, Anderson could do it all. He could grapple. He was dangerous off of his back. He was comfortable everywhere. And Lee Murray was an animal. Go a little further in the fight Where you see When Anderson starts

Destroying his legs So Somewhere Towards the end of the fight Like the last round Anderson's like Just chewing on his legs There it is

And he just did that Over and over and over again And Lee was in real trouble Like You get into a position Like Lee's in right now Where that left leg Just doesn't work anymore

Yeah You haven't got I'm sure you've gotten Kicked in the leg That shit is no joke Oh it's horrible And to into a position like Lee's in right now where that left leg just doesn't work anymore. Yeah, you haven't got, I'm sure you've gotten kicked in the leg. That shit is no joke. Oh, it's horrible. And to have a guy like Anderson kick you in the leg? Shit. And he's doing it right now. And he just used his Muay Thai.

He was a Muay Thai wizard, a technical wizard. And just, again, these guys that are at the top of the heap, they're so creative. And they're so explosive. and they're so wild. They can take these chances in the heat of a gunfight, and they find these openings. And Anderson used to find them in these spectacular highlight reel ways, like that front kick that he hit Vitor in the face with. Yeah. Like, Jesus. His highlight reel might be like The most entertaining Of anyone

The knees to Rich Franklin Where he just Broke his whole face And the closest thing We saw to that Was when Jon Jones Started doing that kind of shit Yes

In a different way Jon was more It was a lot of Smashing people on the feet But it was more The wrestling And the destruction Once you get a hold of you

Whether submissions Or ground and pound He was very violent Oh yeah You could just feel The intentions were like, I'm going to, I'll crush your skull.

Yeah. You know, the type of people that, yeah, that's a scary motherfucker. There's a lot of scary motherfuckers in the UFC, but they're nice people.

Most of them are really nice. Yeah. You know? Those are the kind of people that you have to apologize to. Yeah, you have to. Yeah. But most of them,

you know, they're just, it's, this is what it is. I mean, it's an insane sport. How do you have to. Yeah. But most of them, you know, they're just, it's, this is what it is. I mean, it's an insane sport. How do you deal with that when people like have a problem

with your commentary and all that? I try to be very fair always with my commentary and I'm also very respectful. Like even if I, if you think that my commentary was biased

or one way or another, you'll never think I'm disrespectful because I try to, unless someone's doing something dirty, like there was a girl in this last fight that was, Jillian Robertson, You'll never think I'm disrespectful because I try to, unless someone's doing something dirty. Like there was a girl in this last fight that was Jillian Robertson.

She was trying to gouge Jillian Robertson's eye out. Like she had her in a rear naked choke and this girl, Kashweta, stuck her fucking thumb deep into her eyeball. She didn't get caught. We were calling it. She did it twice. She's reaching for it. Like while she's getting choked, she's trying to find the eye, and then she shoves a thumb in the eye. We played that, right?

It's horrible. You want to see it? Yeah. Yeah. Of course you do. It's horrible. Yeah, if I was one of those girls, I would just get up and just kick her right in the pussy.

That would be disrespectful to me. Stop cheating. It's not just cheating. You could ruin a person's career. Like, if you scratch their eyeball with your thumbnail, you 100% could ruin their eyesight. You 100% could end their career. You could. Like they could lose their eyesight.

It happens. It's not 100% common, but it's common enough. And there's enough eye injuries where you know that that's unnecessary. And it's also an egregious cheating move that's so obvious. You're letting the whole world see that you're cheating. It's not like you might have accidentally touched someone's eyes because they're coming towards you and you had your hand out, your hand went in there, but it was a total accident.

This is not that. This is you're digging your thumb. Watch this. Look at her. She reaches up. Watch this. She reaches up, finds the eyeball, and digs her thumb in the eyeball. And that girl just winced her eyes and just choked her harder.

I remember I saw the accidental one, right? When it was like Vitor versus Randy Couture, was it? Oh, that was a different thing. That was the cut the eyelid. Oh, okay. Yeah, Vitor hit Randy with a punch and just randomly it sliced across the eyelid. So he couldn't close his eyes. And then he lost the belt off that. Yes. Then he came back and beat him in the rematch.

And both of them were like upset about it. Like you don't want to win that way and you don't want to. So that's why a lot of people are upset with Aljamain Sterling right? It's because the way you won Right. You celebrating as if you dominated and you won on on a humble because

you were he was getting fucked up he wasn't getting fucked up but he was losing the fight and he was in a situation where peter yan uh asked if it was okay i think he was confused as to what the rules are if you have one knee down or two like when is it when is it a downed opponent because they've changed the rules a little bit and in some places If you have one knee down or two, like when is it, when is it a downed opponent? Because they've changed the rules a little bit. And in some places you can have one, one hand down and you're, you're still up. In other places, it has to be two hands. If you have two hands down, then they can attack you. Um, but if you have one hand up, you can't, they can attack you. So if two hands down, you're considered a downed opponent. So someone can't knee can attack you so if two hands down you're considered a down opponent so someone

can't knee you in the face but if you have in some places one hand down and one hand up they can knee you in the face and i think he was asking whether or not he could and someone said yes i think someone in his corner gave him bad advice and he need him in the face this is a this is the story that's the narrative whether it's true or not, I don't know. But yeah. You're right. He wasn't getting fucked up. Don't come for me, Aljamain. I love Aljamain. But he was losing that fight, for sure. I think he was losing it. And why hasn't the rematch happened yet?

Well, because Aljamain had to get neck surgery. Aljamain had to get a disc replaced in his spine. It's a serious fucking injury. And I tried to get him to avoid it, and I actually sent him to my doctor because I had had an issue with my discs as well in the past. And they can do some stuff with Regenikine and with stem cells

and reduce inflammation and maybe whatever bulging disc issue you have might be able to go away. But the problem is that these guys, they train so hard and so often that for them to take a long time off to let something heal, they're not that inclined to do that. And apparently it was bad enough that they decided to go ahead and there's a couple guys in the UFC that have had that done where they have fake discs. I know one guy had them in his back and his neck.

Yeah, there's no way. There's no way I keep fighting. They love it, man. It's the most exciting thing in the world to them, and that's what they're the best at. Are there ever, so comparing it to what we were talking about with comedy, do you think, because there's people that are like, they're built like that up here.

They love to fight. They do it for free. They do it for cheap. do you think because there's people that are like they're built like that up here really they love to fight they do it for free or they do it for cheap and then there's people that are like do you ever come across fighters where it's like you're you're you're good at this but you don't have it up like you're not this well those guys find out they find out as time goes on generally they quit but sometimes you think they're going to be like that and then they figure it out like charles olivera charles olivera used to you know're going to be like that, and then they figure it out, like Charles Oliveira. Charles Oliveira used to be fights where it looked like he fell apart, but that's not the case anymore.

He figured it out. So you can never tell someone. The only time you should tell someone it's over is when they've taken too many knockouts, and they're losing their ability to take a punch, and they're realizing and also like if they're kind of in it just for a paycheck uh dana white actually just accused nick diaz of that he said he doesn't want he goes nick is a great fighter but he doesn't want to fight like i don't want him to fight because he's fighting for like as a job he's not fighting because he wants

to fight give him a pension isn't that funny yeah get a fighter because man i'm gonna tell you something about like the fighters and stuff. For me, it's heartbreaking when you find out that, like, you know, because that's a hell of a choice to make with your life, right? Because even if you're really, really good, you may never make it to the top. Right. And to watch some of these people that have, like, sacrificed their bodies and their wits, or they can't bend down and play with their kids.

And to just watch them struggling financially or when it's over or to watch them taking those kind of fights where it's like it was over a long time ago, but they can't afford to stop. Do you think that they should set up a pension for fighters just automatically once they become part of the UFC? They should set up a pension for fighters just automatically once they become part of the UFC. Like you take a percentage and maybe the UFC meets that percentage and they set something aside for every fighter. Yeah, it's got to be. They've got to. Like, here's the thing. People say, well, you should be able to plan your life out after fighting.

Oh, yes. Agreed. You're in charge of your own life. However, you really can't do a lot while you're fighting because it's so hard. The amount of training that's involved in, like, say if you're a Henry Sahudo, who's not just an Olympic medalist but a two-division champion in the UFC, just a fucking savage of a man. The way that guy trains, there's not a lot of time to start a business. Savage of a man.

The way that guy trains, there's not a lot of time to start a business. There's not a lot of time to get together a bunch of investors for a startup. Get the fuck out of here. That's not happening. And whenever people are against, because I'm not just talking about fighting, too. I'm talking about football and basketball and all these other things. Whenever people are against the athletes, they always talk about the millionaires, like the top, top. But most of the people in the UFC are not millionaires. And they don't, you know, it's like maybe the top, top guys can go into announcing or commentating or even start a podcast or whatever.

But there's people, the vast majority of the roster, they don't have that option. Right. Well, you start making money when people are paying to see you. Yeah. That's the difference. And you don't even get points unless you're headlining or it's a championship, right? Mm-hmm. So it's like, what percentage of the fighters are the top of the card?

I mean, it's not realistic for you to expect everybody to have something else because you can't be the champ. You can't be going after a goal like that and have another thing. You can't. No, what I'm saying is like if you had a safety net so if there's some sort of a pension that gave you a safety net so at least when you got out you had a year or two to figure out what you could do and then you start reviewing your options but you know that your bills are paid for a while so you don't have to like immediately panic and try to figure your life out and there's the other problem that fighters have is that being a fighter,

it also becomes a part of their identity, and they don't want to let it go. That's a big part of their identity is that they're a fighter. And so when they stop being a fighter, they kind of don't know who they are for a while. Schaub talks about that, that he kind of was still connected to this identity for a while. He's completely abandoned it now now and he's way happier. But before, it was a part of the way he was looking at it. He was looking at himself like this is his identity. Yeah.

I deal with that with a lot of veterans too, where it's like your identity is one thing and now it's completely gone. Right. And how do you identify? Yeah. That's stuff to do with any, make that lifestyle transition.

Well, in both things you know obviously for different reasons both things are insanely um there's a lot of action there's a lot happening right if you're a soldier that's an incredibly intense job if you're deployed in combat yeah i've never experienced it, but by all accounts, it is a wild fucking crazy experience to be in a gunfight. And then to go back to regular life for some folks is very hard. And some folks actually would rather be in action than they would be at home. Or at least in theater. Yes, right.

At least somewhere around it. And it's also there's a camaraderie that they experience with fellow soldiers that's missing from so much of our society. The intense bond that people have when they do things together like that. Like you just have there's like you can't replace it. And it doesn't even have to be as intense as a as a gunfight like no no i was not in no gunfights you know and i but if you suffer with someone else yeah suffering is how men bond anyway you know it's like we if we suffer together and we make it through some bullshit yeah we're friends yeah and we it's forever like like it's at least it's very strong yeah you know there's a like to this day i got i mean i

served what 15 years ago and to this day every year on the marine corps birthday we have like a phone call and take a shot and like reminisce that's nice you know and it's like yeah and those are the only people from my past like those are the only friends from my past that aren't comedians like you don't get that shit if you used to work at Xerox. Right. You know what I'm saying? Exactly. Nobody's like, bro, we did the fucking time in Xerox together.

My brother is to the end. Xerox! Because it's always like, hey, remember that time we almost died? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's a whole other thing. Yeah, there's things that fight teams have similar sort of friendships and rivalries. And then when, like, it's like when guys are trained together, then go on to hate each other. My God, they hate each other.

Like, more than, like, ex-wives, more than anybody. Yeah, that happens. Because there's, like, a betrayal of that bond. Yeah. Now that person's a traitor. Yeah. Now they have to suffer. That happens, yeah.

Guys, that's such a classic fucking trope in mankind. You know, the people are close, then the person rejects the person that's close and lashes out at them, and then there's a fight and some sort of a struggle. People's lack of ability to work things out is always pretty fucking astounding. We had a guy in our group that he told everyone he was dying.

Oh, no. Yeah, and so we normally, you know you know we lose contact we lose touch we still get together try to get together for the call but this was the middle of the year and he and he he he told everyone he was dying and so we everybody's connecting again we all come together on this on this group chat and reminisce it and telling them we love them and all this other shit and he was supposed to be doing like he was supposed to be doing the like state assisted suicide in Oregon you can do that oh boy yeah and so

we thought he was dying the next day you know and we were supposed to get contacted by his family you know for arrangements and all that sort of shit. And so like two, three weeks go by. And I keep going, hey man, did you talk to such and such?

Like, yeah, I just saw him on Facebook. Like, what? So, you know, slowly everyone starts realizing he's still alive. And it's weird to be upset that a friend of yours is not dead. But in this situation, it was was like what the fuck was all that about like it was all it was all bullshit do you talk about this on stage no not yet you got some new material my friend you think so fuck yeah with your style of comedy this is a hundred percent a great bit yeah am i am i bro there's something write that down there's something very

funny i've never thought about to try it on stage it's you have to there's something very funny and someone pretending pretending that they're gonna die and then you wait and they haven't died and you're like what the fuck and you actually get upset yeah he he's still alive do you know i'm saying what did he say was wrong he he said that um it was something wrong he said he had he had whatever the last stage of cancer is. Is it stage four? I think so, yeah. He had stage four cancer in his stomach or his pancreas or something, and it had already

moved to his lymph nodes. So it was inevitable. So none of that's true? Well, he's still alive. I mean, he said it was terminal. How long ago was this? Which is why the state would let him try to kill himself. Oh. So this was maybe, this was right before the lockdown. So this was like maybe January or February of 2020.

He might have cancer. Sometimes they're wrong about that. Like sometimes they think someone's only going to last a month and they last a few years. Yeah, but here's the thing though, Joe. You don't call all your friends and go, I'm dying tomorrow. I'm choosing to go out on my own terms. I'm dying tomorrow. In fact, I'm drinking the first part of the drink right now my own terms I'm dying tomorrow In fact I'm drinking

I'm drinking the The first part of the drink right now I love y'all You know what I mean Oh the first part of the suicide drink Right so there's a two piece I think there's a two piece drink And then you do assisted suicide

No no no That's what it is That's the suicide I'm sorry I'm getting confused with There's a pod that they do now Oh in Oregon No is it in Oregon

I think it's in like another country Oh you're talking about in Sweden or Switzerland. You've seen that shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The suicide pod? Yeah, the thing they fucking got on Dr. Kevorkian about. Well, they basically have like, does it poison you? The pod poison you? Or is it like a place where you rot? Like it's built in for often?

Doesn't it just replace the gases until you pass out? Is that what it does? Yeah, I think so. But I don't know. The dying on purpose... The problem with that is that people kill people. That's the problem with that. Facts. That's the problem.

If people wanted to just end their life, if someone's in horrible agony and suffering, it's the last days of their life. They've lived a long life and they've been dying of this very painful disease. Who are we to stop them from doing that? That's what I say. But, okay, creative suicide pop wants you to make body implant that would kill you if you forget to deactivate it.

Oh, my God, this guy's crazy. Holy shit. Like, you got to solve a puzzle to live? That's funny as shit. Well, you know, Kevorkian was really wild, too. He was a crazy person. He wasn't just a guy who was helping people. He was also drawing really twisted images.

So I was a kid when all of that happened. Did you ever see his artwork? No. When people saw his artwork, they were like, hold the fuck up. Because it wasn't as simple as he's he's a compassionate man and he's helping these people and i agree with all that that you should be able to do that you most certainly should be able to end your life if you're in agony and why why do we do that to dogs and we won't do that to a loved one the problem is that people kill people like look at his his drawings oh that's kind of dope yeah so this one is like a

demon or a soul clawing i guess i guess it's a person because look those fingers are that their their fingers are shredded off down to the tips of the bone and they're being dragged into this hellscape basement and it says uh the doctor is in that's kind of fire the art of dr kevorkian but a lot of his stuff was like that a lot of his stuff was like almost like morbid like that like that so here's one where there's a roman with a guy has his head cut off on a plate with an apple in his mouth and the roman is like holding up the arm that uh has the sword so it's like he's he's got so we're twisted shit in there is that is that a like Jack in the Box fries cross no no it's crosses in one bowl and in the

other bowls bullets okay that's what's there it's not just crosses what is it stars and hmm star of David no it's not? No, it's a triangle. Yeah, right. It's a triangle. What is that? Is it? It's a Nazi cross, too. That's just like a star. Oh, it is a Star of David. I see. It's got the part behind it that I'm confused on.

And then look, the salt and pepper shakers are missiles. Yeah. But the idea that this is the guy that's helping people kill themselves and his art is like a guy with his head cut off with an apple stuck in his mouth. How much did that say at the bottom? Is it for sale? No, yeah, the one we were just looking at. Did it say $1,200?

Yeah, how much is that? $1,100? It might just be a print. Oh, that's not the original. Still, we should get one for the house. We should definitely have one of those for the studio. Let's find one that's not too evil. But a lot of them were very evil looking.

Like, look at this. Wow. This Chinese Communist Party band on this one guy's wrist and the other guy's wrist is a Nazi band. And they're holding up a person's head. He had some wild, dark shit. This is like cartoony. It's like darker than Adult Swim. You ever see those psychedelic things Adult Swim does?

Yeah, now look at him there. Imagine this is the guy who says, your grandmother wanted to die. She asked me to do it. I didn't want to do it. I'd rather your grandmother live forever. But let's be honest, no one's going to live forever, Brian. Is that how he sounded?

I don't know how he sounded. But but i mean his art freaked me out his art changed the way i thought about his whole pursuit like this pursuit that he has of helping people kill themselves not that i think it's a bad thing i don't but i started thinking about him like oh well what kind of guy does that i mean especially in the 90s of course people this this definitely, because he got convicted, right? Yeah, I think he went to jail for it. Where he ironically didn't kill himself. That's kind of ironic. Put your money where your mouth is.

I think he wanted to get out and he wanted to keep arguing that this was a. I'm all about it. I mean, people die. keep arguing that this was a... I'm all about it. I mean, people die... I just read some shit the other day where more people die in hospitals than on airlines.

You're more likely to die if you go to the hospital healthy than you are to die in a plane crash. Well, what does that mean, healthy? If you're healthy while you are you at the hospital? No, I mean, if you're not going in there for something that's already killing you.

Okay, so like maybe infections? Like not an emergency room situation. So do you mean accidents? Or do you mean like people make mistakes? Yeah, from like medical malpractice and shit like that. Yeah, mistakes. There's definitely a lot of that. You know, there's also a lot of doctors

that are really overworked. You know, like when they're in their residency. There also a lot of doctors that are really overworked. When they're in their residency. There's a lot of doctors that cycle past, too. You think so? Oh, yeah. There's a book called, oh, God, what is it? Dead Doctors.

Fuck, what is the name of the book? If you have any friends that are surgeons or anything. Dead Doctors Don't Lie. Is that it? Joel Wallach. The book is basically about no way is that it yeah god damn so the the book is about minerals mostly it's about mineral um supplementation and how important it is because we do it for livestock but we don't do it with humans and so he rattles off a list of all these different conditions that are caused by mineral deficiencies

and how many of us have minerally deficient diets because the topsoil of American farmlands has been minerally deficient for a long fucking time. In a lot of places, they have to supplement it. So they pour different kinds of fertilizers and different things on the topsoil to help it grow food in it. But you're not supposed to grow corn in the same spot year after year for fucking decades it's just not it's not wise it's not how the world works the world doesn't work on monocrops the world works on ecosystems where all the plants and all the

animals the animals shit and the the plants drop their fruit and all of it works together and supposed to be all it all switch up exactly but uh these monocrop agriculture places where they they what was my point what what the fuck was my point we were just we're talking about we're likely to die in a hospital oh joel wallach that's right so joel that's i was like god i went circular with this joel wallach's book one of the things it was about how many doctors die of overdoses. They prescribe themselves cocaine, and they're supposed to do a fucking, he was talking about guys who were supposed to do surgeries,

and they'd find them dead in a storage room because they shot up and overdosed. Like, they can get a hold of drugs, and a lot of them, they use drugs to stay awake, and they use drugs to go to sleep, and a lot of them are just people. Just like if you get 100 people in a room, one of them are just they're just people just like you know if you get a hundred people in a room one of them's gonna have a problem with pills right you get a hundred there's a million doctors and it's so it's so easy to go from i can totally handle this to yes my shit's out of control so what he was basically saying is that most

doctors especially general practitioners have very little knowledge when it comes to nutrition and what's the latest science it was like even the people that are at the top of the food chain when no pun intended when it comes to nutrition they have debates over what's the proper diet or what's the healthiest way to do it should you do this way or that way should you fast or not fast there's a lot of debate when it comes to that stuff so these are amongst the people that are studying it. This is honest experts trying to figure out what's correct. The average doctor spends about eight hours on nutrition, apparently. That's what I've read, in med school. Yeah, they don't know shit.

Unless you're studying that as a specialty, that's not what you focus on. So when they start talking about the body, they're talking about what's wrong and can they fix it if they're a surgeon or can they give you a drug if they're not a surgeon? Or can I send you to someone who's going to fix it? What's wrong with you? Not how did it get there. Not what's wrong with your body that this is happening. Not what's your nutrition like? What's the vitamin and nutrient balance of your blood? Let's look at your hormone profile. Let's see if you're metabolically healthy. They don't do that. Let me ask you something. That's this book. This book is basically about

that, talking about supplementation. Do you think that if we were a healthier society, that it would necessarily be better, like an overall effect on society? Yes. Yes. When people are healthier, they're nicer. When people are healthier,? Yes. Yes. When people are healthier, they're nicer. When people are healthier, they're more productive. When people are healthier,

they contribute. When people are healthier, they feel better. If you get a group of friends, and I hate to simplify this again, but if you've got a group of 10 friends and all those 10 friends eat well and they exercise and they meditate and they try to keep their shit together and they do their best to be a good person every day. You've got a good group of people. That's great. You've got to think of the entire country as a giant group of people. The more we can have people like that, that are living healthy, just trying to be nice, just trying to do their thing,

the more we have a better country. Just like if you have five friends that have their shit together, and they're really cool, and they're real friendly, and they're real happy for you, and they're supportive, and then you have one who's just a selfish, crazy person. All my fat friends are sneaky fucks. I'm just kidding. They're all untrustworthy.

No, you're right. But you know what I'm saying? Yeah, when I feel healthier, I'm nicer. It's better for you. Yeah, you're functioning better. I mean mean you can get by then but also there's certain brilliance to unhealthiness there's certain people that don't give a fuck about their health and they're indulgent and they they smoke a lot and they

drink a lot and they do coke and they get wild and they say funny fucking shit they're really good comics they're really good comics and they work hard at it they're high all the time they work hard at it because there is there is a balance right because you know you can't be like you got to have your days where you just indulge right i think i think for an entertainer you got to understand like wild fun you got to understand like real laughs you got gotta understand freedom the freedom of like being yourself around your friends and you're all just laughing and

talking mad shit to each other like that helps us it's the best it's the best but it helps us like we have these green room sessions we're all fucking around talking shit about each other it that helps everybody it's it makes you so happy it's so fun because the comics about the comic is about to say the funniest shit when they go, I love the guy to death, but.

But. But boom. Yeah, whenever somebody stops me, I go, bro, I love you to death, but they about to fucking burn you good. I'm not saying that you can't do that if you're sober. You certainly can. But I'm saying that there's a lot of funny shit that's been said while people are drunk and to discount that seems silly to me I think it's all about a big-picture approach and for me like I am obviously I work out a lot it's a big part of my life I work out every day

almost I do something you know and I try to keep myself healthy because I know I have this commitment to but I like to get high I like to get have a couple whiskeys in me I like to go on stage just a little high talk some shit yeah it's fun it's it's a part of what makes the art form fun and I think there's something that comes out of those states of mind that you get to you can get there on your own I've had some great shows with completely sober but I think there's something about comedy that lends itself to altered states of consciousness what I'm when I'm killing because you know that feel because obviously I think people throw that shit around too much but killing isn't something that happens every day even the best don't just do you know I'm

talking about just destroy that feeling that only happens when you're having fun and when you're in another when you're in the zone. When you're in a state of conscience. When you're fearless and having fun. Yes. And sometimes you find a way to cheat your way there. You get a little cocaine. Yeah.

Yeah. A little something. A little something. The problem was when people overdo it. They go too far, they get too drunk, they get too high, and they just get the balance wrong, you know? And it's tricky because there's no one to tell you, right? Like, there's no – getting drunk and getting high is a lot like doing comedy in that no one teaches you how to do it. Especially the real talented dudes

because a lot of times what happens is, because I have friends like this, where it's like they're so talented that they'll get a third, fourth, fifth chance at a bite at the apple. You know what I mean? Where it's like, what did you do? You came to set drunk and cursed out the executive?

And they go to rehab or something and they go, but he's so fucking funny. That's the Robert Downey Jr.'s of the world. Exactly. But he cashed in on his comeback. I mean, Jesus. Well, he's a different human now. He's a fascinating human. I really like him.

You ever had him on? Yeah, I've had him on. I've had conversations with him, like in real world conversations. I like him a lot. He's a very smart person. And he's a guy who turned his life around. He realized he had a serious addiction problem and that could happen to anybody.

That's what's wrong with a lot of these stars is to them it's like a PR move. They fuck up and then they go away for like two months and they come back. I'm renewed, but he disappeared to the point where people stopped talking about him. Well, he went to jail. And then he came back.

He was in jail. Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. Robert Downey Jr. was in jail. And then so he got out of jail and then got the Iron Man role? He got out of jail and just lit the fucking world on fire. That's what he did. Yeah, because he smoked that Iron Man role.

He smokes everything. Yeah. He's an animal. He's an animal. He's so focused. But you believe him as Tony Stark You believe he's smarter than everybody Because even the way he talks to Bruce Banner

He realizes Bruce Banner is just as smart as him It's like a level of understanding That they have with each other When he talks to Banner He realizes this guy's a genius too The role he plays Is so smooth You believe him

There can't be another Iron Man No fucking chance The role he plays is so smooth. You believe him. It couldn't have been anybody. No. There can't be another Iron Man. No. No fucking chance. You could switch your Spider-Mans all day long. You want to switch your Spider-Mans? Okay.

You can't switch the Iron Man. Not anymore. No. Uh-uh. He owns that now. They're going through that debate right now with Chadwick Boseman. Yeah, that's a hard one. Because they're like, do you-

That's a hard one. Do you re- Because they were saying he would want them to recast it. yeah that's a hard one because they're like do you that's a hard one do you reek because they were saying he would want them to recast it i think he would because it fought he fought so hard to have black panther made right that was a that was a series that they were trying to make that for over a decade it was a long long time coming before they ever actually got that made and it was this massive success and then have it be a massive success with him and Michael B Jordan in the lead roles and as the villain role it was amazing I was good it's a fucking amazing

superhero movie and historically it's a very important superhero movie because there's always like this attitude to like that a black lead movie won't do well overseas it's almost entirely black Yeah I mean all the heroes all the villains like so much of the cast so much of the village so much of so much of What drives a story? Yeah, those like maybe like three white guys in the movie that were integral. Yeah, they were cool though Yeah, it doesn't have to mean it's like the point is it doesn't matter You know, it's like what I always say. Now it doesn't, yeah.

Well, it's like, if you just have it good, people want to see good. They just want to see good. It doesn't matter if it's all white people or all black people or all women, as long as it's good. And the beautiful thing about that was, it was all black people and it was good. And it was a huge success. And so, having it, his feeling, I'm sure sure would be he would probably want it to go on but who would want to take that spot i had i had to i had to see the first one twice because i missed the first 11 minutes because i'm one of my bitch-ass roommates damn yeah i can't walk into a movie and it's already going. I don't like being late. I'm almost always early.

Yeah. If not on time. And especially these situations where, because you know, there's people that don't give a fuck about being on time. This is one of my pet peeves. And I was ready to leave on time. And then this motherfucker invited himself. And I was like, okay, yeah, yeah, sure.

And then he was late. And then invited everybody else. Right. And I was going to walk, but he yeah, sure. And then he was late. And then invited everybody else. Right. And I was going to walk, but he's going to drive. So he's like, well, we don't have to leave right now if we're going to drive. And then he made us fucking late. And the whole way people are making you late, they start talking about the previews. Oh, well, it was a preview.

Shut the fuck up. Maybe I want to see those too. I want to see the last preview and the movie start. I want to see the beginning. So anyway, I got robbed of that. I love when people watch superhero movies and they try to say it's unrealistic. Like, where's that city? How is it hidden?

What are you talking about? How come nobody knows about it? How did they develop all this technology? They just decided, like, shut the fuck up. Does Iron Man make sense? How about Batman? Batman's a rich guy. That's all he is.

He's dressed as a bat. He's a rich guy. I don't see. I He's dressed as a bat. He's a rich guy. I don't see, I'm one of those people, I don't have a problem doing stuff by myself in public. I'll go to the movies alone. I'll go to the movies alone on the road. Oh yeah, I do that all the time. Yeah, if I'm on the road. No, even if I'm here.

I'm like, it's a select group I can watch a movie with. But if you have a middle act that you like, don't you want to take them to the movies with you? Wow. Well, I mean, I'm just now just now okay let me rephrase that i'm just now getting to the point where i can decide who the middle act is in my career okay okay but i but i but for the longest time you just like if you're with me on the road it's because you're funny right it don't mean i like being around you or that or it means that i don't i i don't hate being around you right Right, right, right. But we don't got to do everything together. Right. You know? No.

Who could replace Chadwick Boseman? Who would even be in consideration? It would have to be someone young. It would have to be an unknown. Ooh. It would have to be someone, because I think that's what he, I think,

because I think the reason his family's saying that's what he wanted, because he was all about that, like giving young black actors a shot, like new people you haven't heard of and bringing them in. And so, but I think Disney decided to go the other way. what are they going to do they're going they're going to uh kill him off and have someone else take up the mantle and become the new

like have someone that's already in the movie oh really like yeah oh and i hope i don't fuck it up i don't know man but the fan base were you dealing with these comic books yeah it's like because I've seen them flip flop I've seen them like they do some shit remember the Sonic movie a couple years ago and they released

one picture and people thought the Sonic looked ridiculous and they changed the whole movie they reanimated the whole fucking movie well it did look odd

it did a little too TV but it's like not enough to reanimate the movie though think about how many Batmans there have been nobody gives a fuck isn the movie, though. Think about how many Batmans there have been. Nobody gives a fuck.

Isn't that wild? There's been so many Batmans, from Adam West to the comic Beetlejuice. Fuck's his name. You know who I'm talking about. Michael Keaton. Michael Keaton, thank you. Michael Keaton. George Clooney was Batman for a little bit.

Val Kilmer. Val Kilmer was a great Batman. Look at all them Batmans. Christian Bale. Christian Bale was the best. He was the best Batman. But they're all ridiculous. Well, Christian Bale was the best Batman and the worst Bruce Wayne.

Oh, they don't have a homeboy in this, Ben Affleck. He's the new Batman. But it's like, that's the thing. It's like, he batman and he gets hate like if ben affleck just plays some regular dude in a good movie nobody gets hate robin pattinson's a new one too the guy oh robin pattinson he i bet he could pull it off yeah but also too and when when people die it's the whole it's a whole other thing it's a whole other thing like you can't um because i remember like jay jay-z's used to say this in a in a in a freestyle one time but like he's always being compared to biggie you know and he's like how

i'm supposed to win when you got me fighting ghosts oh yeah it was cold that was a cold line but but it's like that it's like you can't you can't say you're better than the dead guy never and it's the people that's gonna never let you be better no matter what you do that happens in every sport it happens in everything when you pat like's the people that's going to never let you be better no matter what you do. That happens in every sport. It happens in everything when you're – like, that's one of the things that happened to Larry Holmes. When Larry Holmes surpassed Muhammad Ali when he was the next heavyweight champion. Everybody hated him because he beat up Ali, and he never got his due. Wow.

It was, like, one of the best heavyweights of all time. Larry Holmes had one of the best jabs that has ever been seen in the heavyweight division. He was phenomenal in his prime. Didn't he fight Mike? He did. When he was old. Yeah, he came out of retirement to fight Mike. I believe he was 36, but it was

a real 36. 36 in 1985 or whatever it was. Which is like 50. 1988. Yeah, it's a different time. They were really 36 back then. There's guys like Bernard Hopkins that fight deep into his 40s. I think his last fight was when he was 50 years old when he fought Joseph Smith. Yeah, this is one of mine.

Yeah, this was tough, man, but in the second round, Mike Tyson, or Larry Holmes rather, gave Mike Tyson a lot of trouble with his jab. The second round, okay, watch this, because in the second round, Larry Holmes came out and he was popping the jab. Okay, this is, in the beginning of this round, he gave him a lot of trouble with that long jab. Larry Holmes in his prime had a fucking phenomenal jab.

And when he beat guys up with that jab, like Jerry Cooney fights a great example. He was a sniper. He was absolutely one of the best heavyweights of all time. So what round is this, Jamie? I don't know. It's like a highlight. Oh, it's a highlight. So it's not all

of them? I clicked on two and it seems to But Mike Tyson at this time could not be denied. He was a destroyer. He was so scared. He was a destroyer. He was so scared. He was a destroyer. He was so much faster than everybody, and he was just trying to get close enough to you to unleash hell.

You ever notice how, like, because you don't see too much of this anymore, but, like, I remember when I was little and Mike was the man, but there was always, like, these old dudes that just hated him for being so good. Somebody needs to teach this young punk a lesson. Look at that head movement, man.

When do you ever recall a heavyweight having head movement like that? Mike's head movement was superb. It wasn't just his power. Just back that up just a little bit, Jamie. Just a little bit from where we were so I could see him move his head. Look at his fucking head movement, man.

No, it was before that. Go before that. Because there was a series, like right here. Look at this series of movement. Look at this, man. This head movement was phenomenal. Larry Holmes is flicking that jab. Mike Tyson's meeting him with his own jab.

And he's so hard to hit. That was part of the thing that people forgot about with Tyson, was how elusive he was in his prime when he had all that crazy wild head movement. So it wasn't just that he got close to you and smashed you. It was that as he's getting close, you can't keep him off you. You can't hit him. His head movement was fucking

superb. They call it the peekaboo? Yeah, peekaboo style. But it was a lot of bobbing and weaving. Because, you know, he was shorter than a lot of these guys. So there's a lot. Look at that head movement. Phenomenal. And just stays on you. And he could do that all night. And he kept his power deep

into a fight mike tyson was a terrifying force of nature when he was the champ when he was at the top of the heap he was different than any heavyweight that ever came before him he was fast as joe lewis and muhammad ali but hit like sunny liston i mean he had everything can you imagine being that young 20 and that was like where like just with that kind of confidence, like nobody out here can really stop me from doing anything. Anything, no matter what. He was 20 years old. 20 years old and he was the heavyweight champion of the world.

Yeah, man. And when he was just standing there, it was like it was destiny. He was standing there like it was destiny. Like we all knew it was going to happen. It happened and we're like, holy shit. You hear him talk about it now sometimes and he sounds like he's talking about a different person Yeah, yeah, I mean it makes sense right? I mean it was a long time ago, and he took a long time off and It's when you have like memories from 10 15 years ago like how good are they? Like no

You know he probably has to watch his own videos to realize what he did they like you know he probably has to watch his own videos to realize what he did like his memory of it is probably as like flashes of it but even my memory of like yesterday's shitty i mean it's pretty good i can tell you like what happened what i did but my what do i visually remember what how much of the actual experience do i remember very little yeah it's not accurate at all and i heard and i don't know how true this is but i heard like every time you access a memory the next time you remember it you're remembering the last time you remembered it right not the actual and you're probably remembering it how you tell it to people too right because a lot of times people leave shit out there's change you know you ever do

that with your parents we like we like mom especially when it was something negative you like mom remember that time you uh hit me with that sack of nickels? And she's like, that didn't happen. Yeah, they do get a little testy. You're like, I remember it happening. Yeah, you remember it, but yeah, it's convenient. Back then, people hit their kids. It was normal.

It was real normal. In fact, it wasn't just normal, but it was, because I talk about this in the special, actually. Oh, yeah? It wasn't just normal, but it was expected. It was like a sign of good parenting. Yes. That you had your kids in control.

You wanted to show the public that your kids are under your yoke. You didn't have no out-of-control, crazy-ass kids. That was the whole thing. So if your mama smacked the shit out, you didn't have no out-of-control, crazy-ass kids. That was the whole thing. So if your mama smacked the shit out, if you smack the shit out on your kids now, everybody in the store is going to be like, was that necessary? But back then it was like, yeah, get them. They would cheer them on. In some places, they still smack their kids.

I was in Thailand, and I was with my family, and I went to the gym. And when I went down to the gym to work out, I missed out on all this. But apparently there was some Chinese lady with her son and the son did something that pissed her off. So she beat the shit out of him in front of everybody. She smacked him in the face and smacked him like three or four more times and she was screaming at him like in front of everybody. And all the other tourists are sitting around going, what the fuck? And this lady just beat the shit out of her him in front of everybody. And all the other tourists are sitting around going, what the fuck? And this lady just beat the shit out of her kid

in front of everybody. It was effective. I mean, in the short term. Well, the problem with that is that, first of all, it's horrible, but it also perpetuates more of it in the future. Those people are going to be more likely to hit people they care about, too.

They're going to be more likely to hit their kids. And it's going to be the real negative impact is that it's going to be their number one problem solving skill. You know, it's like your kid goes into something like you meet adults where it's like the first thing they want to do is fight over an issue. Yeah. It's like because they haven't learned how to resolve conflict any other way. Right, right. You know? Yeah.

And it's also like the final, like you can you can press the final button like let's just fight fuck this and like some dudes just want to go right to the final button but like i said though it was convenient you know it's just like how now like people stick their kids in front of an ipad you know instead of spending time with them it was like if your kid was screaming in the store and knocking shit off the shelves and you wanted to stop right then and there you smack the shit out of them yeah and you know and it was instant works now you sit there negotiating with your children they and they're gonna drive a hard bargain you know but i don't have kids so it's i'm never gonna have to worry about that it's tricky the communication with them is very tricky

you gotta have uh open communication with them and then you gotta realize that they're you know 10 years old they don't know what the fuck's going on and you're having a conversation with them you're trying to explain it to them and you also have to calm them down because they're a lot of times they get upset about something they're not real good at managing their emotions like if one of the sisters is mad at the other one there's like always this kind of conversation and negotiation that has to be held you gotta let a certain amount of time pass you have only doors yeah then they get mad at each other you got a lot of enough time pass so that the the energy levels drop because a lot of times the way they think about stuff is

directly connected to the anger they feel right then in that moment, right? They don't have good management skills. They don't know how to not get too mad. Like, there's dudes that can say something that can piss you off, and you go, look, I can either escalate this, or I could just calm down and be a man and not care if this person's insulting or if this person's saying something stupid. I'm just going to talk to them like how I would talk to everybody.

And that's on them. If they want talk to everybody. And that's on them. They want to be a dick, that's on them. But how long does it take you to learn that? Forever. Yeah. Forever. I think for most people it starts happening right around the time where you don't feel invincible anymore.

Like somewhere in your 20s where you take that first real damage. Yeah. You take that first real L. l it's just it's sound energy management and it's it's sound discipline that applies to your whole life if you can avoid conflict when it's unnecessary because there's people the the weakest amongst us that gravitate towards conflicts constantly because it gives them a distraction from their own shortcomings and failings as a person so they'll gravitate towards fights with people they'll gravitate towards hyper criticism towards one individual and usually it's a sign of someone not looking at themself critically they

usually have glaring flaws but they're not willing to look at those they look at other people's flaws and they'll exaggerate those flaws and attack those people. That's what, that's a lot of what conflict is. A lot of conflict is internal. And if you're not dealing with it internally, the way you externally communicate with other people is a lot of times it's very shitty because you have conflict. Your, your, your body's in like a state of uncomfortability all the time. Yes.

I noticed that a lot of times when I'm gaming online. Like, you can tell sometimes people behave a certain way. You know what I mean? And you're just like, what the fuck is going on in your house, man? Like, you need a hug or something. Well, there's also games elevate people almost to the point of feeling like it's a real thing. Like the adrenaline that's involved in, like, if you're in a game of Quake, for instance, and you run down a corridor and people are shooting rockets at you

and you're trying to survive and someone's chasing you down, it doesn't feel like your life's really in danger. But your system is ramped the fuck up. Your heart is beating fast. Your adrenaline is pumping. Your hands are shaking. You're sweating. Your brain is connecting this to the same type of feelings it would have

if you were being physically attacked. So when people say wild shit when they're gaming, a lot of times they're just saying wild shit because they literally feel like they're in a war. They feel like they're being attacked without the danger. So they don't feel physically in danger, but they feel like, ah, it's a fucking joke. Like you play a game, you get done, you're like, fuck. Your hands are sweating. You're like, Jesus Christ. Especially a fucking joke. Like you play a game, you get done. You're like, fuck. Your hands are sweating. You're like, Jesus Christ. Especially the close ones.

Yes. Real close ones. They're crazy. And if you win, you feel like the best. And if you lose, you feel like such a piece of shit. Like, damn it. It's such a bad feeling to lose. See, that's one of the reasons why kids are so crazy today.

Well, it goes along with what you were saying with the emotional management. Because it's almost always, whenever I get matched up with adults, like you solo queue, when you get matched up and everyone's pretty much grown, it's very few problems.

Unless you're already tilted. Right, right. Because some people come in and there's some bullshit from previous games. They had a smurf on the other team or one of your teammates

was thrown in or something like that and you're just frustrated. Three matches in a row is some bullshit or the middle of your last one, it disconnected. Is that kind of shit? The best shit, though, is LAN parties. Because LAN parties, you're friends and you're all in the room and you can talk shit in real time.

So you look over at each other and talk shit. Oh my God, they don't do that anymore? No, because there's programs where you can team speak and team speak's all the shit. Yeah, no, I know about all that, but I think that there's gotta be room for the conference table. Get a conference table, get a bunch of dudes,

link everybody up together, someone acts as a server, you got zero lag. In fact, I don't even know if they even design games with that in mind anymore. That's outrageous! I'm such an old timer. But that was the shit, man, when you would play in a room together, a bunch of guys would get together in a room and you'd have so much fun.

That's how I got addicted to games. The writing staff at News Radio had a LAN set up in their writing room and we went in there and we were playing Quake 3 and I was like, you motherfuckers, what have you done to my life? Damn. Dragged me into your fucking addiction. Yeah, we had- No, it was Quake 3. And I was like, you motherfuckers, what have you done to my life? Damn. Dragged me into your fucking addiction. Yeah, we had. No, it was Quake 2.

That's what it was. I remember when Halo 2 came out in the barracks. We got in trouble because somebody reported it as an eyesore. But we had land cables, like 200-foot land cables going across the balcony, like across the courtyard and shit playing some playing halo had all xboxes all linked up and that was some of the most fun i've had ever had dude when they make that shit virtual when they get to a point where they can completely recreate a virtual reality situation like a video game but you feel the ground on your feet you got a real gun it kicks when you when you shoot it. It's coming.

It's coming for sure. And it's close. It's closer than you think. I mean, Zuckerberg, he didn't make that pivot for no reason. Have you ever done one of them places like Sandbox where you go in and you play virtual reality games? No. Oh, my God, dude. There's this one where you go into a haunted house, and it's all filled with zombies.

And it's you. And I've done it with my whole family a couple times. My kids are shooting zombies in a virtual reality world. It's amazing. You wear a haptic feedback vest, and you go into this building. And inside this building, they have these green rooms. So you go into like a bigger than a podcast studio, maybe double the size of this podcast studio. Maybe triple as far as like where –

Of the whole building? No, no, no. Just us, where we are. There would be like one room. And in that one room, everything would be green screened. And then you were wearing this full virtual reality gear. And so you put this virtual reality gear on, and then they start the program. And then all of a sudden you see the floor.

You might be on a pirate ship. You might be in the middle of the desert. It's wild, man. And it looks cool. It doesn't look perfect. I mean, it doesn't look like the best video games look, but it looks pretty goddamn good. But I just saw like the next thing, like the Unreal Engine 5. Oh, incredible.

Look at the pool. We've done that multiple times, but we look at it again. Yeah, it's coming to where it's there now. Look at this. New haptic feedback vest lets you experience getting shot virtually. So that must be like a painful one. Wow. Yeah, they're going to rig it up to the point where someone's going to be willing to take a game where you die.

Virtual reality, you're going to duel to the death. There's going to come a time where the best gamers will also be the best athletes. Right. Instead of the top athletes going into the traditional sports, they're going to be doing this shit. Because you're going to have to be athletic to be good at the best. You know what I'm saying? Right. Because if it does get to a point where your body is your player.

Yeah. Right? Yeah. Well, what you can do in the game is directly proportional to what you can really do. Well, players, I mean, I would think that anybody who's like an elite level athlete

is going to have faster reaction times too and probably be better at handling pressure. Right? Yeah. If they figure out, like, I know they've done

some other type of places that have like structure, like a warehouse and you're doing virtual reality but there's actually like walls and they have walls built in you can touch the walls and move around them and you're shooting at each other and shit they're coming up with all these different places where you go and you pay but this Sand House place sandbox place see if you can find the the zombie game it's a something mansion Deadwood Mansion is that it and dude it's the shit it's like you get zombies just See if you can find the zombie game. It's Something Mansion. Deadwood Mansion.

Is that it? And, dude, it's the shit. It's like you get zombies just running at you, and you're splattering them with machine guns or with shotguns, rather. So are the guns virtual, or do you have something in your hand? You have a plastic gun in your hand. Does it have a weight to it? It's got a little bit of weight to it, but also you have to reload it. You have to push it down to reload it like you have to pull it push it down To reload it you have to do things to reload your gun which makes you panic other like power-ups and shit

Yeah, well yeah, you can get killed too. So you're in this house, and so this is what it looks like in the room and It looks like a green screen you first turn it on but so this is This is the zombies so they're coming at you and you're in this dark. This is what it looks like while you're actually playing it. Look at these dorks. But it's fun, man. Is that here in Austin? Yes!

You can do it in Austin. It's at the Domain. It's the shit. Look at this. Come on, man. How fun is this? Rats are coming at you. You can stomp at them. And the zombies run at you. And there's also zombies that cling to the walls and they wrap their tongue around you and strangle you. Things come out of the ceiling.

How do you keep from bumping into your family? You do bump into them. You just got to be nice. As someone who's been in VR for a little while now, I've been wondering, why do you think everything is just killing zombies? It's fun. I know, but I mean... They have to die. No, is it like the reality thing?

Like where it would be too fucking close to reality to kill anything other than a fake-ass zombie? I think it's that it's close enough. Like you're still killing a person, but one that you don't have to feel anything for. Could you imagine if conflict breaks out between us and China and they start having virtual reality games where you can kill Chinese people and Chinese people can kill Americans. Well, don't they already do that? I mean, not virtual reality, but. If they start to have things like that. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, that's inevitable. You know, people don't realize how quickly people demonize other groups. How quickly. You know, the first thing we do, we always give them a name. We always give them a name we always give them a name that because that helps that helps the soldiers like we always give them a derogatory nickname yeah like that's where all the like the the the a lot of the slurs come from it's like someone we fought yep and we were like you're you're in iraq it was like they called them people

started calling people hajis right away just Just something not human. Just something you don't even – it's a concept. It's not even like a person. Right. You're othering them. Exactly. You're othering them. That's the easiest way to get people motivated. You don't have to feel anything for it.

That's been a part of a human-tribal relation since the beginning of time. Yeah. It's just how people are. It's easier for us to think of them as not being human. But that's the real hustle. It's easier for us to think of them as not being human. But that's the real hustle. That's the real hustle. The real world is just people.

The fucked up thing is we get sectioned off in these government-controlled areas. So we have a small group of people that always do a terrible job, that we re-elect every time for they're always terrible at it and we let them lead us into conflict if you eliminated all those people all of them all the people that tell you what to do and you were left with just human beings I feel like we could work a system out I feel like we could work a system out without leaders the problem is when you have leaders and leaders want to do this and they want to do that and they want to. And then there's companies that are profiting off of things like natural resources. Like there's something kind of fucked up about making trillions of dollars out of the blood of the earth. When you say leaders, because here's something that I just suspect.

That everyone deep down wants to be led. It's just a matter of whether you trust the person. Like, if you trust the person in charge, you immediately like, yes, just what do I do? Yeah, we want a real leader. Right. Yeah. So a leader would always emerge. Right.

But they don't, not anymore, because now the price is too high. So it's like the price of digging into a person's personal life or distorting their past is so sketchy for people. Like all these people, they all come up with some story of some horrific thing they did right before they run for election. People know about this. So I think there's like a real hesitancy of a lot of brilliant people to get involved in that muckraking and just to feel what it feels like to have that. We love to play in the mud. But it's also like the type of person that really wants to be a leader is one of two people, right? It's either someone who really cares and wants the world to be a better place and thinks they can pull it off they think they can do better and they think and make they can make some real change and they can maybe help the community of the of the United States as a community like

as a group of humans that want the world to be a better place for each other and then it's crazy people and then there's people that are like completely bought and sold by the political system and the special interest groups and the lobbyists, and they're deeply entwined, and they have no ambitions whatsoever to try to step outside of that. They live in that world. They hobnob. They all know the same people.

They go to the same parties. They think the same thoughts. They're just Hollywood with ugly people. Or just imagine being born with it like you know you know they just did north korea they they banned laughter for 11 days imagine even imagine imagine bringing that idea up in a room full of of powerful people here and no one being like i don't think that's that's why you can't have anybody in control you can't have a person in control you can't have like george bush You can't have a person in control. You can't have George Bush or Joe Biden or any of these people that are in control

where the whole world is freaked out that this is the guy, whether it's Donald Trump or some people, it was even Obama. Having a person who is the fucking leader of the free world is crazy. We all know it's crazy. And having all these people that put that person into place and then seeing the way they operate and what they do. When you see that Nancy Pelosi makes $200,000

a year and she's worth a hundred and something million dollars, you're like, what? Where did you get that money? And then you hear that they can actually, they can participate in the stock market. So they actually buy and trade stocks.

And they sometimes know about things like laws that are going to be passed that are going to benefit stocks. I think you should have to give up all your assets. Somebody just proposed, some senator just proposed that congresspeople should not be able to trade in stocks while they're in office. Maybe even when you're out. Yeah, ever. It's a tricky thing. It's because it's like when you're out, you're out. You should be able to do whatever you want, right?

But did you make deals while you're in? Of course you did. That when you were out, they would give you information? Because here's a deal that's legal that's kind of sneaky. The private speaking deal. Oh, yeah. here's a deal that's legal that's kind of sneaky the private speaking deal oh yeah like there's a weird deal like if you were president right and then you get out of office like brian did a great job for us and hey we would love you to come talk at our fucking blah blah blah meeting and they'll give you a half a million give you a half a million to go up and talk which is insane i would never you know you know you hear those people they're

like if you could have dinner with one person who and people pick politicians like why would you do that i would like to look in their eyes and smell their breath i'd like to be around i would interview like maybe somebody in their family like their wife their spouses like i would talk to michelle obama before i talked to barack obama because. Because they spend their whole life just so so you know everything's so sanitized and pre-thought out. You gotta talk to one that's dying.

Oh yeah that's a good idea. You want to talk to one and gain their trust. Get that motherfucker on his last day up in Oregon with the juice in his cup. Maybe not even the last day. Like if you could talk to any president if you have a conversation which one would it be and they have to be 100% truthful with me well they don't have to they're just gonna talk to you just just a person no magic powers which

person would you want to talk to which former president that's tough any any former president anyone that's alive not like oh that's oh that's alive um i would go to oh it'll be obama then yeah yeah how much time you think you would need to figure out if he's full of shit you need a few hours yeah i said a few hours of talking to him a few hours to see that spark. What is that? Yeah, because that's enough time to get him to repeat things. Right, just to be talking about stuff. What if he drinks?

If you just get a couple of drinks. He does drink. Ooh, perfect. Remember he had a beer with the racism incident with the black professor? He got arrested. That's right, by the white cop. And then they came to the White House and had a beer with Obama. Who does that?

That's one of the best things about him being president. Yeah. He thought outside the box. Yeah. And he could pull something like that off. Like, I don't know. You know, there's a lot of people that don't like his policy choices and what he did with drones, what he did with freedom of the press. There's a lot of issues with Obama.

But I think there's issues with anybody that's the president. And I have a feeling that once you get into office, it is a wild menagerie of interests and people and fucking, you have to concentrate on this part of the world because there's conflict with this guy and this guy trying to steal the resources and the stock market's fucked and this and that. It's celebrity with consequences. Not only that, it's like you got to be the best in the world at it and you just started last week. Yeah. You've never been the president before. Like if you become the president and then all of a sudden you're inside, you literally have the toughest job in the world and a new person tries it out every four years.

It's a job like you probably should get real good at it, right? You should probably do it for decades and decades but we don't trust you it's built into the thing we don't trust you like any other job imagine if you were a ceo of apple but you can only be the ceo of apple for four years and then you have to run for it again who the fuck would you know no one would that would be a disaster i bet you there's definitely shit that they don't tell you until you swear in. And then they pull you in a room and go, okay, so this is where the aliens are. This is who killed John F. Kennedy.

We've also implanted a uranium bomb in the base of your spine. So if you get out of line, when are we going to blow your head off? Yeah. That kind of shit. Remember that Bill Hicks joke? He said, I think they take you into a room full of smoky industrialists, a smoky room. And he said, and then they play you a video of the Kennedy assassination from an angle you've never seen before. That's brilliant.

That's brilliant. And then they say, any questions? And he goes, just what is my agenda? And then they say, any questions? And he goes, just what is my agenda? I think you don't get to be the president unless they pick you until Trump came along. And I think Trump was an odd combination of, yeah, there were definitely people that stand to make a lot of money with him in office, whatever the regulations that he was passing, that he's friendly to business, and they thought it was going to be good for business, and so they had an interest in getting him in there but he wasn't a regular

politician guy he was some crazy billionaire famous guy who's like famous for being outrageous you're fired and then all of a sudden he's running the country like what i think what really fucked people up is that he didn't follow any of the rules. Because there's rules of like, you can't do this. You can't say that. Right. You can't do this. You have to abide by. And he was like, fuck all that.

And that fucked him up because that means you can't control a person. Right. He was going to be his own guy. And he had the support of all the people that love him above and beyond any president ever had. You think he's going to run again? 100%. You don't think he is man i just i just don't because it's because when he ran the first time it was it was very divisive but now there's like there's these you know we with the covet division and the vaccine division it would it that would be like vaccine division, it would be like what happened before. I hate to say it on steroids.

That's a phrase. Yeah. But it's like it would just be – because now you have four or five reasons to fucking hate your family. I know people that stop talking to their friends. Yeah. I don't lose friends like that. What if maybe Biden fucks it up so bad four years from now that Trump looks like a viable option? I think that's possible, too.

We're looking at a situation right now where we're a year in, right? January is a year into his presidency. And you can't hate a person for getting old. It's just a part of being a human being. But when you watch him ramble on TV, nobody has confidence that this is the most clear headed, most logical, most well read and wise of all the leaders in the world. That's a crazy thing to say, right? Whether you think he's okay, whether you think he's fine. That's that's not my point is, is that the best representative of the United States of America?

And I think most people, being honest, would say no. No, most people that most people, most of the people that voted for Biden were voting against Trump. Exactly. And but Biden, Biden and Harris were acting like we looked at them as like saviors. Some people did. A lot of people, the hardcore people in the Democratic Party, that's the thing, man. Those are the people that they communicate with the most other than the press. And the press is a lot of it is the hardcore members of the Democrat Party

is a lot of the press. The thing is, they don't want because the pandemic was going on at the same time, they didn't realize that they represented the status quo at the same time that everyone was slowly realizing that going back to the way things were wasn't what we wanted. Right. Yeah. break where everybody got at least six months to a year off and you were getting money from the government so you didn't have to do more shit and you just had time to focus on what you wanted and what you liked and then and now people are coming back they don't want to take the same jobs

for shit pay and no benefits and joe baden just like the status quo was safer to some people than trump but most people don't want that we don't people don't want you to go back to 2019 the way things were yeah i think what people would want is more opportunity to pursue what they really want to do versus what they were just doing for money. I think when you take everything away, a lot of people at least,

some people were just itching to go back to the way things were before. Just give me my job back. I miss not having to think about money. I miss knowing I got a steady check. But some people are like, you know what I'm happier just making fucking

ashtrays or whatever I'm happier starting a business on Etsy I'm happier I'm happier doing this or doing that people just started doing different stuff and they started thinking when something got taken away from them that they never realized that someone could just take something away from you like that

like comics you can't do shows that was Los Angeles this is how dumb the government in Los Angeles is they were like you can't do outside shows and they're like outside what if we do outside the comic store said what if we do outside and we put up a barrier a blasted clear see-through barrier between the comic and the audience no what yeah you know i said you can't we did them in the window bro it didn't make any sense the the logic behind it was so stupid and they didn't care about the businesses because they don't have to because their money is not

based on how much the businesses earn if politicians money was all based on a percentage of the gross profits of the neighborhood they control. They'd have a completely different way of dealing with people. And they would have let those shows keep rolling. Because if they knew that if all the bars were closed and all the comedy clubs were closed, the amount of revenue that's missing from their pockets would be substantial. If you tank an economy, you lose your money. Like, let's say you're a mayor,

and what does a mayor get paid? Let's just say it's $300,000 a year. What if you have a base salary of $100,000, but a potential for $7,000 to $8,000? So if potential for $5,000 or $500,000 more, rather, than you would have gotten on a straight up contract. You just have to show that you're friendly to business and that you're helping the businesses stay open in the area.

So the more profit, gross profit gets counted for in your area, the more potential you have up into a cap. So you would want to make that cap. But what's to stop you from selling out just your mom and pops for

like a big, a super target or some shit? That's a good question. You'd have to have like very staunch regulations to stop that kind of stuff from happening. You gave me an idea earlier. What if after graduating from high school, we just sort of do for those kids

what we did during the pandemic. Like when you graduate high school the government just for a year gives you enough money to live on and you can just because i feel like you would come out of that like you're not even allowed to start college right you just have to live for a year try a little different interests and then by the time you go to because the hardest thing about me starting college was like they were like okay so decide today what you want to focus your whole rest of your life on yes yeah yeah that's and it leaves people in a state of desperation you know i remember i made a lot of lies to myself or pretended there was jobs that i could have done you know i was like

yeah i could do that for a living like my brain was like what are you talking about but my desperation and my worry about not having a future was having me convinced that I could do construction or that I could be an architect. I was trying to come up with jobs, like a regular job to do. But the idea of being locked into some sort of a job, like all day for eight hours a day for my personality, was like being strangled. I was like, I can't do this. I can't do it.

And I felt like such a loser, man. That's the ironic part. The thing that led me to success was the thing that made me feel like such a fucking loser when I was young because I couldn't keep jobs. I wouldn't do it. I'd be like, I got to get out of here. I couldn't take things that didn't make sense. Right. Whereas you're doing something, you have a boss that's secretive or whatever the fuck, and you're doing something that is pointless. Yes. It ate away at me, man. And I've had good jobs. It wasn't the pay. It wasn't where I was living.

It wasn't even the actual work itself. It was just the idea that what I was doing didn't mean anything. Sometimes you meet people along the way in your life that you meet just so that you kind of get, they're like a little lesson for you. Like you could lose it all and you can go down this road where you just make a bad decision and now you're doing something meaningless forever. Like there was this one guy that I used to drive limos with and he was an older guy and he had a Cadillac, and he was overweight, this poor bastard,

and he knew all the places that had the biggest meals. You tell him, like, where do you go? This is Vegas? No, this is Boston. I was driving limos, and they had a pep talk for us one day. I forget the guy's name, but they were saying, you know, he works X amount of hours per week. He's like 60 hours a week. He's like, the guy's making more than 60 grand a year.

He doesn't have to bust his ass. He's just sitting in his beautiful car driving around. He makes a great fucking living. And I remember thinking while these guys were saying, like, oh, my God, what a trap. Like, they're leading you to the dumbest trap ever. They're saying, like, you're're gonna give up all day every day You if you're gonna work 60 hours a week, that's an extra 20 on top of 40, right? So fuck 9 to 5 you're working a lot of extra hours another 20 a week

12 12 hour shifts Four extra hours Monday through Friday 20 extra fucking hours is nuts But that is a lot of guys a lot of guys just take that job they'll do 12 every day and that guy was doing 12 every day and he was a beaten man he was probably like 10 years younger than me right now and he looked like a dead man and they were talking about oh you know he's got a great living doesn't bust his ass and I'm like this guy doesn't want to take people to the airport this is just like it's this is

this guy got stuck in this thing. And those people, they come into your life to show you. Like, okay. Like, you can't just do something meaningless all day, every day, forever. You've got to have something, some reason why you like doing it. It's not that you can't drive limos. I drove limos. It's that driving them 12 hours a day every day is not good. It's not that you can't drive limos i drove limos it's that driving them 12 hours a day

every day is not good it's not good unless you love it right how could you love it i mean maybe you enjoy talking to people or you have a great client or something like that but for most people it's something you do to try to accumulate some money and try to get out like i knew this guy who is a um he was a limo driver he wanted to be a record executive he was like really into music he was talking about music he was trying to figure out how to bankroll like this is like in the 90s just trying to figure out how to bankroll like a cd and put together like songs and bands and shit he just was stuck in a job you know he's just doing a job as a... Did he ever do it? I don't think he did. I think maybe he tried once. I lost touch with him.

It's very tricky, that world, man. You have to drive people around, and you're in your car all day, and you're probably sucking in the worst air that you could get. The air on the freeway? The highway air, yeah. How bad's that air? That can't be good for you. Has anybody ever done an analysis on how bad

highway driving is for your health? Like people who drive limos or people who have long commutes every day? One of my drivers recently reported me and I think that's why. Because he was losing his mind? No, because I rolled the window down on the highway. Oh.

The car smelled so bad and right when I got to the point where I couldn't take it no i rolled the window down on the highway oh the car smells so bad and right when i got to the point where i couldn't take it no more we were getting on the highway did did he say hey roll the window up and you're like hey fuck you no but he rolled no he rolled it up oh he rode up that the guy pulled down my window i rolled it down and he rolled it back up and then i rolled it back down oh my god you guys didn't talk? No Oh Jesus No we didn't talk But the tension was thick though And then Hold on that's another bit That's another bit

Write that down And then this morning I got an email from Lyft that was like Drivers have reported a couple of your recent Keep in mind I got a 5.0 on Lyft I've been with them from the beginning I got a 5 star rating And now recently a driver has reported my ride

just one only that it says drivers but it always says drivers whether it's one or not because they don't want you to be able to narrow it down write that down dude there's something about getting in a lift with stinky dude and you roll the window down and he rolls it up and you roll it down because like i said if i don't if i don't care about you how can i tell you that the problem is the oldest i know but the problem is you guys aren't talking. What's funny is you're not even having a conversation. You're just rolling the windows down. Because you know why?

Hold on. What it is is he, the passive aggressive, I'm going to roll the window up without saying anything, he's already at the point where he feels disrespected. So I think to him, it's like, this is beyond talking. Well, he shouldn't have a bullshit car that doesn't have a child lock. For the windows? Yeah. Oh, maybe he did.

He didn't turn it on. He likes the game. Yeah. And it's also me kind of being cowardly, but it's like at the same time, I'm not trying to upset the motherfucker that's driving my car. That's not cowardly. That's not cowardly. That's just being nice. Like, you're not going to change his smell over the next 40 minutes that you're in a car with him.

Yeah. You're not changing his smell. Because you know what it smells like? It smells like he just ate some, like, exotic food or something. Maybe he did. But he didn't air it out. Some people get real sensitive to that if you're eating like a lot of garlic

or weird foods. Yeah. Some people are real sensitive to that. Yeah, I mean, it's put on what you're doing. Like, you know,

if it's fish or something, it's like, you gotta eat that shit at home. You can't like bring like a baked piece of fish in a car. I've seen so many fights on the subway, on the train,

from people trying to eat on the train, and they open it up and there's something punching. Somebody's like, hey, man, what the fuck are you doing? And it turns into something. That's funny. Because you really are, that's a decision you made. You know what you're doing. If you open some food on the train,

you're basically rolling the dice that nobody on this train has the balls to confront me about this. Have ever eaten durian what is that durian is a fruit that in many hotels it's illegal it's it's illegal to eat on a lot of planes wow it has a rotten disgusting smell to it it's the weirdest smell for a fruit it's not tasting, but you have to get past the... It's one of those weird things where the smell is worse than the taste. So why do people eat it? They like it.

Some people like it. It's a popular fruit. Again, I ate that in Thailand. That was in Thailand as well. I was like, this is weird. This durian stuff is so weird. There's rules and regulations on a lot of airlines, a lot of hotels. It's that

weird. I wish we had some in here. I'll bring you some. Show them a picture of what it looks like. That's what it looks like. Oh, why people love durian, the banned fruit that stinks like garbage. The aroma of durian, look at this. One of the most polarizing foods in the world. It's hard to pin down, but there are some attempts people have made. Limburger cheese, gym socks and turpentine, New York City's hot summer garbage, and pig droppings. So that's what it looks like. That's all you got to do to make me not eat some shit. It smells like New York City.

But look how beautiful it is. It's a beautiful piece of fruit, like all the little prickly things on the outside of it. If you cut it open and eat it inside, it's just this rancid, weird, sweet, stinky thing. Is the shitty smell coming from the white or the yellow? The yellow stuff that you eat. It stinks. I mean, maybe the white stuff stinks too. It's a weird thing because you would imagine

that that's not good for you because if you look at all the thorns and everything on the outside that means nature doesn't necessarily I mean I'm just guessing but the nature doesn't really want you to eat it it's like hiding it from you it's hiding it inside this literally like prickly armor right well this plant has like

evolved this as a defense but the plant's probably like come on I got spikes I stink Farmer, right? Well, this plant has evolved. This is a defense. But the plant's probably like, come on. I got spikes. I stink. But look at the nutrition profile. Compared to a banana, a banana has 358 milligrams of potassium, but durian has 436.

2.6 grams of fiber for a banana, 3.8 for durian. Folate, total 20 for the banana. I don't know what a PG is. And then 36 for durian. And then vitamin C, 8.7 milligrams. That's not convincing me, though. Versus 19.7. Yeah, it's super healthy for you. Yeah, but that's the tradeoff.

I would just trade off. I'd rather be low on all that than eat a plant that smells like New York City garbage. It doesn't smell quite that bad, but it doesn't smell good. But to me, it's like if I want fruit, I want something that tastes good and smells good. I want watermelon. I want a peach. I want a juicy, ripe peach. That's something that I got to—because if you open up one of those, it's going to become a discussion.

I don't want to be conflicted about what I'm eating. I want to, like, bite into a delicious orange and just like, ah. You know when you get the perfect orange? You know, an orange that's like it's a dark orange and it's got a lot of life to it. I'm a tangerine man. I love tangerines. Yeah, but you, but see, there's asshole motherfuckers out there that'll, like'll bring a fruit salad to the function and has that shit in it. Oh, my God.

Who does that? There's assholes out there that'll do it. Yeah, just to fuck with you. Say, this is my culture. Say, fuck you. When you bring shit to a potluck or something, you got to bring shit you know everyone's eating. Pineapple's tough to fuck with. If it's hot outside, you got some cold pineapple, that's tough to beat.

It's because it's got a bite to it. It's like chewy. Yeah, it's a good texture. Oh, my God, the sweetness of the pineapple. You ever had a fresh one? Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's nothing quite like it. I mean, oh, man, any good ass, any fresh fruit is just great.

Even coconut milk, like right out of the thing when they hack the top of it with a machete and stick a straw in there. I'm like, God damn, that's good. It's real good. God damn, that's good. It's real good. God damn, that's good. Because there's things that taste good because you're supposed to eat them, right? Like fruits. Like they want you to eat them.

Like they're going, come on, look at me. I'm so pretty. Come eat me. And it's cliche, too, but it's also like the environment you're eating them in. So if you get some fresh pineapple in the morning, like when the sun coming up and you're at the beach. You know something like that? That's the ultimate shit. Yeah.

You just had a blunt, fresh pineapple cracked open right there, sunrise. But fresh anything, right? If you caught a fish right there at the beach and you fried it on a fire that you made right there. You had a little grill set up right there on the beach and you just salt that bitch up put a little olive oil on it laid on that little weber grill flip it over oh my god you can do all the fancy shit you want to oh my god but the fresh shit with just a little bit of salt yes and cooked over wood like i've been doing a lot of that lately i've been doing a lot of that lately. I've been doing a lot of that lately. There's something about just cooking over firewood. Whatever caveman shit that makes men enjoy grilling, there's clearly a thing.

It's not just me. It's been a fucking dad meme forever, right? A theme that guys, the dad will be out there flipping the burgers and making the steaks. It's always been the case. Men like to cook over fire. Women like to cook, and they like to cook over fire, but men really fucking like to cook over fire. There's a power to it. Well, there's something that connects us to some raw, primitive, like it excites parts of your brain where you're cooking meat over fire.

You know what I love to see you try? And I would like to try it if you haven't tried it before. What? So I don't know if you ever, and this blew my mind because I just learned this like a few months ago. There's a Brazilian cow.

Oh yeah, I know about that. And it has a hump. And that hump is a specific cut of meat you can only get from Brazilian cows. I forget what it's called though. I forget what it's called too. But Brazilians know what the fuck they're doing, man.

Nobody does it better. Chujasquerias? Coupin. Traditional meat cut from Brazil. A beef hump of a Brazilian it's a zebu cattle. Interesting. It's a tender, rich, and marbled cut of meat. Woo! Bro, they figured it out. Those chujasquerias

is the greatest fucking invention in all of culinary foods. What is Those chujasquerias is the greatest fucking invention in all of culinary food. What is a chujasqueria? You never been? No. Oh my god. Is that just a Brazilian steakhouse? Have you ever been to Fogo do Chão or any of those places? Oh my god, Brian. What the fuck are you saying to me? I haven't. You have to go. I wish we could go right now. Maybe we should go. Maybe we should go before the show.

It's quarter to five. What it is is they have fire and then skewers of meat they're set up around the fire and you have a card and on one side of the card is green and one side of the card is red so when you have it green you leave it up and they just come over with all kinds of foods they have like chicken wrapped in bacon and garlic beef and picanha. I like that. All of it is cooked over, and they never stop.

They never stop coming to you. And they give you tongs, and they slice it off of the skewer right there by your table, and you put that shit in your plate, and within 10 minutes, you're like, I can't eat it anymore. And they keep coming. They keep coming. They're bringing over pork ribs, and Oh, my God. It's phenomenal. It's one of my favorite places to eat.

What did you call it? It's called a churrascaria. Churrascaria. It's a Brazilian term. I ate at one in Sao Paulo. I've eaten at them in Rio, in Brazil. It's pretty fucking dope. It's a style of cooking that they invented in Brazil.

Isn't it just like in the oven? But it's the style of restaurant. It's not an oven. They just have wood that's burning in a pit, and then they have these steaks that are around it. And they generally, like, see if we can show how they cook it. You can see it. Oh, so it's a Portuguese word for barbecue.

That's what it is. So you can see the way they cook it. There's videos of it where they have the fire in the center. But everything's open flame cooking. Yeah, most of it. Or this one's not. This one's doing it a different way. But it depends on the place.

Some places they actually do it over live fire. And some places they do it over these kind of ovens. But the key is that everything's rotating and so they cook it on the outside and then they bring it to you and slice the outside of it off onto your plate and then they put the rest of it back on over the fire so it keeps slowly cooking and slowly browning the outside it's like you're like oh it's so good it's so good dude i love that kind of i love an expert i you, we talked about this before. Like, there was a Peruvian chicken spot at the bottom of my high rise when I lived in Virginia.

And everybody I brought there was like, oh, really? Like a chicken spot at the bottom of an apartment building? And everybody I brought there was like, holy, all they made was chicken. All they made was these little rotisserie chickens would just spin all day long and drip juices on each other. It was like a giant wheel that would do that. We had a place like that in Calabasas that went under because the dude didn't want to switch to credit cards.

Oh, yeah. You said you would buy it. Oh, my God. It was amazing. It went under because the guy, he would only take cash. He never wanted to switch over to credit. People were like, I don't have enough fucking cash. Come on, take a credit card.

You're like carrying around $300. They had a big copper-colored oven in the middle of their store, which is like they built it. So it's a Starbucks now. But back when I was first living there in the 90s, it was this big-ass wood-fired oven. And they'd be constantly throwing wood into this pit. They had stacks of firewood. This is like in Calabasas, and they have this giant rotisserie

that's spinning around with all these chickens on it, and it was the best chicken you've ever had in your life. They had it down to a science because that's all they cooked was chicken, and they had a few other things. They made pastrami roux bins and a couple. But if you were there, you were there for the fucking chicken. The chicken was out of control. It was out. And they had a few other things. They made pastrami roubans and a couple. But if you were there, you were there for the fucking chicken. The chicken was out of control.

It was out of control. It was so good. The spice. They just had it down. The right amount of butter. The right amount of spice. Yeah. But he went under.

Is that chicks? Yeah. There it is. How can your shit be that good when you go out of business? Bro, that's what it looked like. That's what it looked like. So they had all these chickens spinning around. He went out of business because he didn't want to fucking take credit cards.

They had been around for like 25 years. The only Mexican Jewish restaurant in town was Mexican and Jewish. They were the shit. Damn. It says Woodland Hills. I guess it was Woodland Hills. I wanted you to find that guy and get the recipe. Well, you would need that guy and get the recipe well you

would need the kind that kind of a grill too there's a thing about those oven grills that's why people love kamados you know what a kamado is kamado is like a big green egg that's a famous kamado or kamado joe it's a special kind of grill that's lined mostly with ceramic and it creates like this there's a there's a heat and a there's a way it retains moisture in these like ceramic grills that has a certain special flavor that imparts in food people really love it it's like a very um very popular way to slow cook things a lot of people really enjoy slow cooking things in a kamado you never seen one of them before no pull up a kamado kamado is like the most impressive company i had one of those when i lived in california but i left it at the house i sold because it was too heavy to move but a kamado kamado is a uh you have to have it like it built in. No, they wheel them in.

But this was a really pretty one, and the thing about it was these Kamados, you can get one from Weber, the same company that makes them kettle grills. They make a Kamado, a real nice one. They make, if I was going to buy one, I'd probably buy that one because it's steel. It retains heat, and it does all the things that the other one does. It's really well insulated by design, but also it's light. It's not impossible to carry. These motherfuckers, I had one of those.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard them call something else. It's a Kamado grill. See that one in the center? I had one like that, like the big blue one that's in the middle. I had one like that. And it's that heavy? Oh, my God, it was so blue one that's in the middle. I had one like that. And it's that heavy? Oh, my God.

It was so heavy. It was covered in tile. That's a Kamado Joe. But the one I had was this Kamado, Komodo Kamado, that one in the lower right, right to the right cursor of where you are. Yeah, that thing. That's one by the same company. That's the biggest one they make.

I had the circular one. That's how big they are? Yeah, that the biggest one they make. I had the circular one. That's how big they are? Yeah, that's how big they are. Oh, okay. See, the scale was off in my head. No, they're huge. That's insane. That one's way bigger than the one I had.

I had that one, the one in the middle, Jamie. The one in the middle right there. That's what I had. So that was like the medium size. That one says 23 inches. That was about as big as mine was. What were you cooking on that? That's the thing.

Mostly I just cook steak. Mostly I'm grilling meat. I try to do a bunch of other stuff, but what I like to do, I eat meat. That's what I do. I eat mostly meat. I feel at my best when I'm eating a lot of meat. And when I fuck around with bread, I do it just for the taste. When I eat pasta, I know I'm paying a price.

It's like the way I feel if I do shots of tequila. Like, okay. Right. I know what we're doing. We're just going to enjoy this for a little bit, but we're going to have to do some recovery work. You're like, I'm going to put this in the bank. Yeah. But those things are, you know, people like that kind of cooking.

Oh, yeah. And if you cook on those things, man, there's something about that. And you're putting wood in that basket? Well, you can. You can put wood in there. Some people do, but most of the time you use lump charcoal. But I've been cooking on one of these Argentina-style grills. When you crank the thing, click, click, click, click, click, click, click.

It goes up or down. And I've been cooking on straight firewood, like logs of oak logs. Man, there's something exciting about that. Really? Yeah, something exciting about it. The wood makes a difference? It makes a difference. Yeah, for sure.

The smoke makes a difference. You smell it in the meat. But there's something about cooking outside over fire, and you're looking at the fire and hearing the meat crackling and taking in the smells it's part of the experience it's like almost like foreplay to your dinner well you obviously eating shit that you've killed see i've never done that yeah but even if i eat like a domestic steak even if i have like a nice grass cut ribeye a grass-fed ribeye rather grass-fed ribeye with um you know i'll put a little bit of um

grass-fed ribeye with um you know i'll put a little bit of um garlic in the pan and i'll put some some butter and uh some rosemary some time get get get some fucking herbal scents on that meat and baste it on top of it too it's there's something exciting about cooking over fire man like i i'll still i'll still cook in a pellet grill, and I'll sear on a cast iron frying pan, and I love cooking. But there's something about fire. It brings out a thing in people where that genetic memory that we were talking about,

it reminds us of how thrilling it was to be cooking a piece of meat that you killed over a fire because that meant your family was going to live. That means you're going to survive another day. You weren't going to be hungry in the morning. And that means you might be able, your children might be able to carry on and live. Because most people died. I mean, imagine what it was like living half a million years ago.

A million years ago. Most people didn't survive childhood. Yeah, most people. And if you did, you probably got eaten by a jaguar jaguar you know that's why everybody's scared of monsters why are little kids scared of monsters they're not scared of bank robbers and fucking car accidents they're scared of monsters because of some weird fucking memory of cats eating us really yeah rupert sheldrick talked about that he was talking about this idea of memory that's attached to, like innately attached to people, that that's probably the origin of that one,

that the idea of being scared of something with big teeth that hides in the dark. Like what is that? It's a cat. It's a big cat. If you think about where we evolved, we evolved in a place that's filled with big cats. And there's so much evidence that that ancient humans and ancient hominids were eaten by cats there's so much evidence just especially something that's quicker than you oh my god not just quick why wouldn't it eat you we're the

easiest things to eat we can't even fight back what are we gonna do If we don't have a weapon, we're fucked. Yeah, we can build traps. Yeah. There was a horrible fucking picture of a little baby monkey clinging to its mother while its mother was in a leopard's mouth. So its mother, the leopard has its mother's head completely crushed in its mouth, and it's walking with this dead monkey And the little monkey's like Clinging to the body of its mother

As it's being carried away Look at that, right there Bro Oh shit indeed man You gotta drop off son I mean what do you do It doesn't matter if you drop off You can't go anywhere

That's why you're clinging to your mother in the first place. That's not the same one, is it? It happens apparently or what? I'm sure it happens. The mothers are more vulnerable when they're carrying the baby. That's a lot of extra weight. Damn, this is sad as fuck, man. Look at that picture.

Look at that cat. Look at what it says. Look at that cat looking at that monkey. Cunning leopard uses baby monkey as bait to lure adults towards it. Oh, my God. Bro, that is, I can't. Oh, my God. I can't even look at it.

Oh, my God. That's so demonic. But then again, so is Chick-fil-A. True. Chick-fil-A is demonic, too. Somewhere there's like a gigantic warehouse filled with chickens stuffed into cages waiting to be turned into sandwiches. Just for clarity, this one says that it adopted the baby baboon after it killed its mom.

Oh, my God. He's like, oh, we can use you as bait from now on, son. Adopted the baby baboon. That's just some animal rights asshole bullshitting. He probably ate it eventually. Yeah, all those pictures from the same day. Probably wasn't hungry yet. Tenderizing it.

Yeah, he wasn't hungry yet. He ate its mom. Making a bigger meal. He's waiting. Yeah, why don't you get bigger? I'll it? Yeah, he wasn't hungry yet. He ate its mom. Making a bigger meal? He's waiting. Yeah, why don't you get bigger? I'll just hold you. You're not going anywhere. I'll keep you right here.

I'm hungry. I need a midnight snack. He's like, that's the first cheetah to discover farming. Yeah, find out how long that fucking baby monkey stayed alive. Look at it. It's licking it. Oh, God. I might not even be relaxing Photoshop a little bit.

Look at that. Leopard takes care of baby monkey after hunting his mother. Jesus Christ. Yeah, that does look kind of Photoshopped. The one you're on right now. This is on Facebook too. That's why I'm not giving it credit. I don't know. It looks real to me. I want to believe. Like this one's not.

What's going on down there? Bro, this is real. All of it's real. That's a real face. It's definitely not Photoshopped. Oh, this one? Which one of it's real. That's a real face. It's definitely not photoshopped. Oh, this one? It looks like it's a scene from The Lion King. Oh my god. That's probably real, dude.

No, bro, that's probably real. Look, it's a series of images. It's real. What is that? An American Eagle? That one's fake. That person's not even in that tree. Yeah, that's totally fake. That's like a glitch in the Matrix. Yeah's not even in that tree. Yeah, that's totally fake. That's like a glitch in the matrix. Yeah, fuck living in that world. But that's probably why people are afraid of monsters, you know, because they know that.

They know that's possible. Yeah, especially like the unknown shit. Yeah. You know, because there's a, I forget, you know the Vsauce guy? You ever had him on yeah i had v sauce on way back in the day yeah he but i remember him talking about the difference between terror and horror hmm he has this whole thing with the uncanny valley and all of that but it's like he was talking about how like the unknown is horror it's yeah it's the it's the

sound you heard like you know someone's in the house but you don't know what it is you know the terror is like there's a lion right there but the horror is

what the fuck was that right that makes sense something ran by what the fuck was it that's why

like all those classic HP Lovecraft shit that's why you don't see the monster to the end

or you know you don't they don't they don't grab them as in this very like general sense so you can make it up in your head well my favorite monster movie of all time was american werewolf in london that and alien the original alien and in both of those movies you don't really get to see the animal or the the the alien until the end like you see like flash images of it until late into the movie.

Right. You know, like, the American Werewolf in London, you see a quick glimpse, like, one of the best scenes in the movie was a businessman in the tunnel. He's in the subway. And this guy's just hanging out, looking at his watch,

waiting for the train. And then you hear, and he's like, what the fuck is that? And you see him looking, and he starts talking, like, fuck is that? And you see him looking, and he starts talking like, who's there? Who's there? And then you see him see the werewolf, and you see him.

And see if you can find that scene. Businessman in the subway. What do they call it, the tube in London? And at the end of the scene, the werewolf is at the bottom of the escalator. The guy's running up the escalator, drops his briefcase, paper's flying everywhere, and at the end of the scene,

the werewolf just moves into face. Give me some volume on this. Is that Christian Bale? No. No, no, some regular dude. This is 1981. So here's that. And this dude.

Bro, this movie's so good. John Landis was an absolute animal. Imagine hearing that. Okay, this is where you need to get the fuck out of there, man. I shall report this. It's so British. And then somewhere along the line, he realizes things behind him. Watch, he's going up the escalator.

And then he sees it. And you see he doesn't believe it. And then the motherfucker's in a full-on panic. He's like, what the fuck did I just see? And then he goes up the second flight of stairs. And he hears it behind him. And then he sees it. So you see it from the wolf's eyes as it run towards him.

And this poor fucking guy. Meanwhile, he's still got his briefcase. Yeah, fuck that briefcase and that umbrella. No cardio. Dude, I have zero cardio. They're supposed to have that tie off by now. You should call... I would hold on to the... Under a normal circumstance,

I would hold on to that fucking... You better not pick that shit up. Oh my God, he picked up the briefcase. It's falling apart. It's falling apart. No cardio. He decided to die. This is my favorite scene in the whole movie the guy's nothing climbing up look at this look at that thing coming to play imagine seeing that see they didn't show you much they showed you enough. Come on, son. The tension was crazy. It's an amazing scene.

God, what a fucking dumb guy. That's an amazing scene in a horror movie where they didn't have to show you much. Rick Baker made the where we, and our old studio in LA, you never went to the old one, did you? No. The old one in LA had an American werewolf in London

that greeted people at the front door. Why'd you leave it? I'm gonna bring it back, but I actually ordered a new one, The old one in L.A. had an American Werewolf in London that greeted people at the front door. That's dope. Why'd you leave it? I'm going to bring it back, but I actually ordered a new one. And the new one, the guy who makes it, Pat McGee, he made an even better one. You could tell, too, that that guy wasn't even going to fight. No, he gave up. I'm going to send you a meme, Jamie.

I don't know what it is, man, but people that have no fight in them i just yeah you're supposed to feel like that because if you were in a uh a situation with them if they're a part of your village and shit went down and that guy falls apart like that you're like you bitch it's like jesus christ like even if the odds are insurmountable even if it's like jason vorhees standing front of you, you're not even going to throw a punch. Dude, I'd way rather have Jason in front of me than that fucking thing. No, no, yeah. A creature? Jason still has limbs.

He keeps the mask on. He's not even biting you. What's he going to do? His mom still makes him cry. I feel like if you had a good, solid shotgun, shells i think you got jason you just blow his knees apart but even that creature that thing's lunging at you you know you got no chance but you at least gonna kick or spit at something this is a meme that's uh my dog and uh the american werewolf london they use this use this picture for so many memes.

Yeah, meme template. Yeah, it's like one of those, see, Omicron in reality is my dog Marshall, and Omicron in the media is American Werewolf in London. That was the werewolf? Yeah, that's what it looks like at my studio. And that's Marshall. What's crazy is I think that that dog on the left his lineage is a wolf somewhere in his history there was a wolf like that's that's what made a dog just like we came from ancient hominids

they came from wolves but they didn't even come from wolves that long ago that's what's crazy yeah like we came from ancient hominids hundreds of thousands of years ago but dogs when did they come when did they come out of wolves i think i watched some shit recently on i think it was on netflix but it was like they were talking about coy wolves yes yeah they're they're a mixed breed between coyotes and wolves yeah well most coyotes are their descendants of wolves. They're like the most clever of wolves. And they can breed with red wolves. And they're genetically dissimilar to gray wolves. So gray wolves, the thing about what happened in America was ranchers and farmers poisoned off the wolves.

And until they reintroduced them to Yellowstone in the 1990s, there was very few wolves on the West Coast. In the West, the great, you know, the West and wilderness. Because they killed them all. But they never could kill the coyotes. Because every time they tried to kill the coyotes, the coyotes would just expand. So they expanded their territory over the entire country. There's coyotes in every single city in this country.

Everywhere. Everywhere. And the ones you don't see, like every time you see one, there's like 25. But they got that way out of a need to survive against the wolves originally, because when the gray wolves were coming in from Canada and wherever they would meet coyotes, they would kill them. So the coyotes had to figure out a way to survive. And one of the ways they figured out to survive is constantly evolved their territory constantly expand their Territory and then also when one coyote dies when they do that roll call when they With with one missing it causes the females to make more babies

Females have more pups There's a great book called coyote America by this guy Dan Flores, who was a professor. He taught my friend Steve Rinella, and then Steve introduced me to him, and I had a guest on the podcast. But he's an expert in wildlife and the history of wildlife in North America, and that's one of the things that he's fascinated with is coyote. What makes coyotes so dangerous? Well, they're not more dangerous because a coyote is a wolf. A coyote is just a larger version of it. It's just a hybrid.

They're bigger than coyotes and smaller than wolves. Yeah, it's like a small wolf. Well, a coyote is a small wolf, right? But a big coyote is like 50 pounds. That's big. That's a big fucking coyote. You see a 50-pound coyote. How big do coyotes get? I'm guessing that 50 pounds is like 50 pounds. Like, that's big. That's a big fucking coyote. You see a 50-pound coyote. Like, how big do coyotes get?

I'm guessing that 50 pounds is like the range. I had that. Oh, sorry. I was comparing it to wolves, as you were saying. I thought it did. No, it's like half the size of a wolf. Hybrids, but not separate species. So there's gray wolf, eastern wolf, red wolf.

20 to 50 pounds? Yeah. So a 50-pound coyote is a big-ass coyote. 80 to 120-pound wolf, yeah, they get a little bigger. You might see a 150-pound wolf, maybe even a little bigger than that, but that's like in Canada. There's a thing also that mammals in cold climates tend to be larger than mammals in hot climates.

That's why the Mexican wolf is a smaller wolf. Like Mexican or California deer is a good example. Texas deer too. Small. But Saskatchewan deer, huge. More than twice the size. A big ass Saskatchewan buck might be 300 pounds. But a Texas

buck, if it's 150 that's unusual. That's a big ass deer. Really? Yeah, they're not that big. They're little out here. Little baby. You know anybody that has an actual wolf as a pet? It's illegal's a big ass deer. Really? Yeah, they're not that big. They're little out here. Little baby. You know anybody that has an actual wolf as a pet? It's illegal in a lot of places. I knew a guy who had one that was part wolf. He had three of them that were part wolf.

And they were so dangerous. They would get out and they would wipe out a nearby ranch or sheep. They would get out and just kill eight or nine sheep for a goof. Yeah. They get together. They were around other animals. Like, that's what they love to do. Kill them.

So they find, like, a bunch of sheep that are stuck in a pen. They're like, oh, shit. And they just hop the pen fence and just tore them apart. They killed, like, I think they killed eight or nine of this guy's sheep. And they don't listen. That's what started them family feuds. They're not listening either. Where?

You can't train them? Like, sit. Fuck you. Like family feuds. They're not listening either. Where? You can't train them? Like, sit. Fuck you. Like, fuck you. They're like cats. Like, somebody told me recently, like, we haven't actually domesticated cats yet. Not really. I mean, a little bit.

But a wolf is a different animal, man. They're not listening to you. They're not listening to you, right. No. You're their friend. You're not their dad. You're not the boss. They might have been the first guy that got one of them things to fucking listen.

And they're like, oh, we got to breed we gotta breed them we gotta get they definitely listen a little i mean they listen better than wild wolves wild wolves just fuck you up and if you raise a wolf it kind of has a relationship with you but you're not it's never going to be like a german shepherd that just listens right where it's because it's not even about the because they hear you but they just don't care about pleasing you yeah the. The way like a domesticated dog does. You just nailed it. That's exactly what it is. A regular dog is obsessed with pleasing you.

Yeah. And those dogs, or my cat, they don't give a fuck if you're happy about anything. Yeah. I think what they, they literally raised dogs out of wolves where the dog, the ones that became dogs were the ones who were compliant. Like they did this thing with, I think it was foxes. Yes. There was a podcast about it on Radiolab. And they were talking about how quickly, within a few generations of every time they had a fox,

they would have these foxes. They were caged foxes. And every time they had a fox, they would have these foxes, they were caged foxes, and every time they had a fox, they would reach into the cage and the fox would growl at them or snap at them, they'd kill it. And so all the ones that lived were the ones who weren't interested in being aggressive. And so after a while, their ears started drooping, and it's only like a couple of years with a breeding like this. Their ears started drooping, their's only like a couple years where the breeding like this their ears started drooping their snouts shrunk their teeth got smaller their jaw bones got weaker everything changed they literally changed within a couple generations that's how that's how strong like the influence of the environment are foxes are they related to wolves it's kind of like a canine

right some kind of a canine i don't think they're directly related. Nobody has pet foxes. Do they? No, I don't think they do. But if they do, foxes are probably great pets because they'll play with people in the wild. Like that Grizzly Man movie. Ever see that movie? No.

Grizzly Man is a movie about a dude who basically committed suicide by bear. It's a Werner Herzog film. Yeah, I've heard about it for sure. You need to see it. I can't believe you haven't seen it. It's the craziest movie probably I committed suicide by a bear. It's a Werner Herzog film. Yeah, I've heard about it, for sure. You need to see it. I can't believe you haven't seen it. It's the craziest movie probably I've ever seen in my life. This guy was out of his fucking mind. This guy was hanging out with these bears like, I'm protecting these bears.

No one's protecting these bears. This fucking park service, they're not helping these bears. The guy was crazy. And meanwhile, the bears had no idea he was alive. They're just walking around him. He's like, I'm here for you. I'm here for you, honey. The bear would take his shit. He would pick was alive. They're just walking around him. He's like, I'm here for you. I'm here for you, honey. Like the bear would take a shit.

He would pick it up. This is, this was just in her body. This is her poop. He's holding her shit. The guy was out of his fucking mind. And eventually the bears killed him and ate him. This was in your body. Bro, you have to see it.

That's funny as shit. One of my favorite scenes in the movie, there was an old sheriff and the old sheriff was talking about, you know, Werner Herzog, who's like, I guess he's German. Is he German from, where about Werner Herzog, who's like, I guess he's German. Is he German? Where's Werner Herzog from? But he has this way of talking. And he is the narrator. And he's talking to the sheriff.

This is how he's narrating. And the sheriff goes, I thought he was retarded. And when the sheriff says that, he's like, no. No. That's funny. I thought he was retarded. And when the sheriff says that, he's like, no, no. That's funny. And then they talked to the guy who scared the bear off of his body. The guy was flying over in a plane and looked down and saw his rib cage, and the bear was digging through his. We saw the white of his rib cage,

and the bear is just digging out his organs and eating through the rib cage. Now, why do you say suicide by bear? Because the guy shouldn't have fucking been there. He stayed there overnight. He's camped with bears. He's camped in a place called Grizzly Maze. He camped in the Grizzly Maze. So he's hanging out with the most unthreatened predators

in terms of, like, what's going to fuck with a grizzly? Nothing. Not a thing in the woods other than a bigger grizzly. So they're completely unchecked. They do whatever the fuck they want. And he was in a place where you're not supposed to be once they hibernate. Because the thing is, if you go to the place where the bears

live, and there's a bear that's still roaming around, he hasn't hibernated yet, it's past the time, that means he's starving. That means he's probably getting old, and maybe his teeth don't work good anymore, or maybe he hasn't hibernated yet, it's past the time, that means he's starving. That means he's probably getting old and maybe his teeth don't work good anymore or maybe he can't run after the fish anymore. Whatever it is, he hasn't got enough food. So he'll eat anything. So he looked at that dude and he's like, oh, here we go.

And he killed him and killed his girlfriend. See, I've always been much told this story. I thought it was like bears that he lived with, like a pack of bears That betrayed him well he thought he was living with them He was just living near him like they weren't his friend he like Coco's my friend. She's my friend like he was this crazy guy and and he seemed like I don't know if he was homosexual or heterosexual But he talked like a very effeminate gay man. And then he would say crazy things like, I don't know why I don't have a girlfriend.

I wish I was gay. It'd be so much easier. If I was gay, I'd just find a guy. But I'm not gay. And you're like, who says that? Like, what is this movie? Like he's talking to the bears, just so y'all know. But he's walking around with these cameras.

But Werner Herzog left that in the film. Like he knew what he was doing. Werner Herzog's a brilliant director. He knew what he was doing. He was making a comedy. It's like an unintentional comedy about a crazy guy who lives with bears. And you think that he...

Do you think he knew he was gonna die? I think so. I think you had to know that you can't sustain that. How long are you gonna keep living with grizzly bears, bro? Eventually they're gonna realize they can eat you. I mean, it was a bad idea from the jump. Dude, he would find cubs that were eaten by the boars so big males would eat cubs so this is a place with you know hundreds or even thousands of bears i don't know what the

population of bears was but there's a lot of bears in the fucking movie a lot of bears in the movie but it's a great documentary it's a fascinating take on human nature because this guy has got it in his head that he's protecting these bears but the reality of that whole area of alaska is like there's plenty of bears man and they actually have to keep the bear populations in check because if they don't, the bears like the one that ate him run out of food and they either attack people or they attack other bears, they eat cubs.

That whole ecosystem needs to be managed. Yeah. I recently went to the aquarium and they have the little shark thing but it wasn't, because I'm fascinated with those apex predators. It's like nothing's fucking with me, but I thought I was going,

that's the only part of it I was disappointed about was I thought I was going to see a motherfucker like that, like something that is. You know they can't keep a great white in captivity? Why? They die. Really? Yeah.

I think one aquarium in Japan has recently kept a great white in captivity for an extended period of time, and I think they Aquarium in Japan Has recently kept A great white in captivity For an extended period of time And I think they might be The first ever What do they die of? I might have just made that up

I don't know What do they Oh They just can't be Contained in captivity They go crazy They die The longest one's ever been

In captivity is 198 days According to this What? Less than a year? Was that in Japan? I don't know I didn't get that far yet Do they Less than a year? Was that in Japan? I don't know. I didn't get that far yet. Do they kill themselves?

Do they run into the cage? I don't know. They don't live, though. Monterey Bay? Oh, that was up there? Monterey Bay. That's where they live. Southern California.

Well, Monterey Bay is not Southern California, right? Isn't that Northern California? They transported the shark from Southern California where it was caught. Oh, to Monterey Bay. Yeah, there's a shitload of them up in northern California. Like all around San Francisco. Sharks? Great whites?

Yeah, great whites are all over the place up there. They put it back. They released it back to the wild. Oh, interesting. After it attacked and killed two non-great white sharks that were in captivity with it. So they had it alive. Interesting. So it says the main reason why they're unable to be contained

is they're a nomadic and are adapted to traveling incredibly long distances. Because of this, they struggle in small tanks. So what happens to them if they put them in small tanks? Do they just stop eating? They give up? This thing doesn't say. This isn't a... You know, they might have some kind of,

some level of, some very, very minuscule level of self-awareness. Because like the smaller fish, I think they don't realize that they're in a tank. But the shark knows like, this is what I saw yesterday. This is what I saw yesterday. That's what a bad motherfucker Steven Spielberg was, or is.

Is that Steven Bill one fucking movie changed the way people thought about a fish. Yeah. Changed the way, nobody was that scared of sharks before Jaws. Jaws changed everything. I saw that on Betamax. I saw that on Betamax. It was a film. Yeah, it was like I was at a aunt's house or something

that shit scared the shit out of me it should sharks are crazy and now to go back and look at the behind the scenes and look how they did it all

yeah it's like to think about how they thought up what to cause Steven Spielberg is one of those dudes that like

he wasn't listening to people well he's a genius he doesn't have to yeah you gotta have that. Those are the people that drag everything forward. What does it say here? Oh, 2016, an aquarium in Japan. That's it.

Displayed an 11-foot shark that had been caught in a fisherman's net. The shark lasted only three days before dying. Okay, so this was in 2016. But the Monterey one was a lot longer than that, huh? 2004. Oh, 2004? Okay. In 2016. But the Monterey one was a lot longer than that. 2004. Oh, 2004? Okay.

So they just don't make it very long in captivity, huh? Yeah, it just says they just end up stop swimming and they need to be pushed along. Wow. They die within a few weeks. They just quit. They just quit. They're like, what the fuck is the point? They quit like that dude in the tube with the werewolf. Damn.

They just give up. That feels like me in my last job before I just did comedy. But isn't that important that you have jobs like that so that you remember? Oh, yeah. Dude, I'll never forget the night. You know Derek Poston?

Yeah, very well. Derek has no hair now. Yeah, I know. I didn't even recognize him. Look at the shop out there, D. Looking good. Looking good. But this is when,

because he moved to San Diego right after me. I mean, right after I started. Like a year after. And we were cool, but we started, this is the night that I was like, this dude's my bro

because I didn't have to even say anything to him. He came to my job. At this time, I had quit the comedy club and I was just a bar back at this Irish pub called Rosie O'Grady's. And it was the night after and it was the night after it was the night of St. Paddy's Day

so it was just a swamp I had worked my ass off and right before we closed one of the bartenders broke a glass in the well so where they get the ice from because of the way this place was set up

it was like old school I had to go to the hot water heater and like the ice from. Oh no. So, and so in the, because of the way this place was set up, it was like old school. I had to carry, I had to go to the hot water heater and like, so the, the, the hot, the only hot water spigot was in the women's room. Oh no.

So I had to hold up the bathroom line in the women's room. Get a bucket of hot water. To get enough buckets of hot water to melt all the ice and then go all the way to the back of the building and grab buckets of ice to replace it. Like in the middle of the glass call. And make sure that you got all of it so you didn't get a fucking chunk of ice in your drink. Oh my God.

You got to melt all the ice and then wipe it out thoroughly and then go over that motherfucker with a flashlight to make sure there's no chunks. And so boom. So we finally get all those motherfuckers out there and Derek's my ride. Right. And so every now and then, you know, they'll let my ride come in and wait for me. Right. While we closing down. And so, you know, I'll get my rat come in and wait for me right while we closing down and that's all you know i'll get my little shifty you know but i'm cleaning the

place and i finally opened it back up and the last lady that went in the women's room she shit all over the place and and so so his last call we pushed everybody out the building and derrick's sitting at the bar and somebody goes hey b Brian, somebody shit all over the women's room. And so this is the part I'm leaving out. So keep in mind, the night before, I just murdered at the comedy club. You know? And so Brian, somebody shit in the women's room. And it was just look of just despair on my face.

And I met eyes with Derek, and he was like, it ain't going for long dog it ain't gonna be for long because i didn't even have to explain it to him because it's like that feeling of knowing like i could be the man i have it yes but i'm but i'm someone's shit in the women's room so now i'm this it's that thing of people walking out going i loved your stuff you were so funny and then someone someone shit in the women's room and it's like fuck but isn't that it's not a beautiful little moment in life that you can remember forever oh yeah the moment where you knew that this had to end we still we still talk about it to this day because it was it was that was the moment when it was like yo if you just get pat like you if you can stick it out yeah you'll be fine and i believed it you know i'm just like yeah those moments are important they're important you already had the thing

though the thing is being funny and that's the some people don't have the thing yeah well see my thing i was never not confident that i was funny my my my lack of confidence is isn't it was in whether funny mattered like how funny do I have to be before it matters? You know? Yeah. Before I win the contest. Before I get the thing. Right.

Before you get the recognition. Right. That was always a problem in the early days, man. Everybody was so thirsty. Everybody in the early days of comedy, and when I mean like my generation from open mic to being professional, everyone was so thirsty. I mean, like my generation from open mic to being professional, everyone was so thirsty. And when you started getting work, you just were so desperado to get more work.

Like everybody was just desperate to bridge that barrier between an amateur and a professional. Quickly. As quickly as you can. Yeah. I got to make some money. I got to do this. Like even when you had no business getting paid, everybody was convinced that they were ready. Yeah, you always think that beforehand.

That's why it's also important to save those old sets. Oh, God, I have some from the 90s that'll make my fucking hair stand up. Yeah. Oh, there's some I thought was fire. They're terrible. And I go back now and I'm like, oh, no, this could never see the light of day. Isn't it interesting when you watch an open mic

or someone who's new who has quick premises, they don't know how to get out of a premise and expand yet, and you see those little baby steps. You see like if someone plays a video game and they're bumping into the wall. They don't know how to navigate yet. And every now and then you see them do a move and you're like, it's like in the beginning

you're button mashing. You know what I mean? You don't know how to do the combo, but every now and then you're just hitting the buttons and you pull some shit off but you might have like one or two ideas that are pretty good yeah and people listen to the premise like ah because i didn't understand that when i started when like ogs would walk up and be like you know you got something yeah you got something just keep doing it but that's the darkest thing about thieves. Because the darkest thing about thieves is they would come and watch the open micers. And they would find those gems.

They would sit in the back of the open mic room for four or five hours. We don't have to name any names. But watch over and over and over again all these people coming up and take their best ideas. Can you imagine if you're sitting there, and you're starting out as a comedian, maybe you're a bartender somewhere or whatever, and you get a couple nights off a week, and you got a dream,

and you're trying to make it, and you do a few open mics, and then you do an open mic, and the next thing you know, you're watching your shit on Comedy Central. And you're like, what the fuck? That's your best bit.

I can't even imagine. That happened to me. Somebody stole a bit. I can't even imagine. That happened to me. Somebody stole a bit. I don't think they did it intentionally, but it was like word for word. It wasn't like something we both thought of. It couldn't have been. Because my bits are,

it was like the same thing. I ended up writing a better joke. I ended up writing a better joke about the same thing because of it. Because I was just like, I got to let this go because it's going to drive me crazy. People make mistakes if you think you heard something before you think you

haven't heard something before and you have i've done that yeah you realize like oh shit that's someone else's bit or you had you on stage halfway through it like oh wait a minute i've i've been there too i've been there too i've been i've had people have to tell me that that bit is a bit that i heard before i'm like oh no. But these are honest mistakes. There's a difference between that, like a failed memory, and then someone who will sit and cherry pick your act, cherry pick people's acts. Because there was a lot of people in the 90s in particular

that did just that. Imagine being that. That goes back to what we were talking about with no shame. Imagine having no ambition's terrible no ambition to actually be good at what you're doing well it's also it's it is 100% a signal to everyone around you you don't give a fuck about anybody

but yourself like you're in this thing and there was a time where that was how a lot of comedians behaved where there wasn't the kind of camaraderie that we all enjoy now I think the camaraderie of we all enjoy now i think the camaraderie of like this generation and the generation just previous where they started to wake up and realize this like we're way more similar to each other like we're than the rest

of hollywood like we we need to like stay together we need to like support each other and we need to appreciate each other we got into this because we're fans of comedy you get to hang out with the funniest people on the planet you should just be enjoying it yeah you should you got to figure out how to manage your own emotions and your own jealousy and your own like narcissism to not think about other people's success as somehow or another being detrimental to you that's the difference between people that are strong and people that give in to that very base instinct. And it's not just being funny, too. We're spoiled in just the intellectual stimulation. Yeah.

I've been in green rooms where it's like this conversation couldn't have happened anywhere else. It's like two or three of the best thinkers in the world. You know, comics aren't, you know, maybe they're not the best thinkers in the whole world, but they always have an angle that you didn't think of, like especially the OGs. Right.

They always, like you've been around, you have Ron White right here and, you know, another big name right here and you in the back and just listening to the conversation

and y'all are talking about, you know, fucking World War II or some shit. Right. And it's like you hear all these interesting perspectives and like we're spoiled like that. We are. You know, fucking World War II or some shit. Right. And it's like you hear all these interesting perspectives. It's like we're spoiled like that. We are.

You know who knows a shitload about World War II? Shane Gillis. What? That motherfucker is a historian. He knows so much, man. He turned me on to this book that I can't even read. It's so hardcore. I just met him.

Dude, it's about the starvation and cannibalism during World War II. It's rough. I'll tell you exactly what the name of it is. So you freaks out there can go and torture yourselves. See, it's crazy just like you said it, but it was like when I first, so when I filmed the special, it was in New York. Yeah. And the New York comics just showed me love. Like all the funny people, when they know you're funny,

it's like, get the fuck in here. That is true. That is one beautiful thing. When comedians know you're funny. This is not that many of them. It's called Captured. No, that's a different one. That's the one that Hank told me about. That's good too. Whoops. How long have we been talking?

Too long. Should probably wrap this up soon I think like three hours in Oh okay Is it between two fires or No Well let me Let me find it because it's recent I know that it's in here somewhere

I think he I think he Suggested it to me I could never bring myself to reading it Because he scared me just in the description of it. Fuck, what is it called? Starvation, and what was the other thing you said? No, the other one was Captured, and that's the one that Hank turned me on to.

It's not Bloodlands. Oh, yeah, that it is. That's what it is. Is this a fiction or nonfiction? No, it's nonfiction. It's called Bloodlands. It's in Europe between Hitler and Stalin, and it's all about, you know, when Stalin was in power, there was a tremendous amount of cannibalism. And Lex Friedman has actually talked a lot about this as well because he's Russian and he knows a lot about this, the history of when Stalin was ruling and literally starved their people.

But in this book, apparently, there's some horrific depictions of children cannibalizing other children why they were starving to death in japan in stalin russia oh in russia yeah yeah he was he was telling me about it and i was like i can't even listen to this it was so wild and so horrible and so dark and also so recent. When you think about people cannibalizing people because they're starving to death and you realize it was only 80 years ago, you're like, what? 80 years ago? Yeah. It was only 80 years ago.

You're like, what are you saying? Because when society break down, all it would take is one power grid outage to go unprepared forpared for just I say a month before society collapsed. There's a time out here last year where all the power went out for a lot of people. Oh, yeah. During that winter storm. Yeah. Very strange. Yeah. And then the and then the fucking the companies, the power companies were like jacking up the prices like they worse worse uh hotels were jacking up the prices of uh rooms like really jacking them up where people would had no power and they had no water and so they were trying to get hotel rooms they were charging like a thousand dollars a night for a fucking regular bullshit ass room at a motel and people were furious jesus yeah that's the darkness of

people when they try to capitalize on horrific events. The brightness of people is when you hear about people. Like there was a guy who brought his rig to Kansas. He's got a barbecue rig. Did you see that? Made the news. And he started feeding everybody. He's like, all these people lost everything. He goes, I felt compelled.

And he brought this big-ass barbecue rig. And he went down there and started cooking for people and giving them free food. But what was he getting to meet? He brought it with him too? He brought everything with him. He's like, I'm going to go feed people. His instinct, when these people got hit by a hurricane or a tornado, was to go down there and feed people.

So he was a barbecue guy. He has this big ass rig. Look at that thing behind him, that huge smoker. So that dude went there and he just cooked for people. He looked like he don't take no shit. Well, you know what? You need people like that in this world. Then he tried to run for office. His look like he don't take no shit. Well, you know what? You need people like that. Yeah. Then he tried to run

for office. His name is Jim Finch, a man who for no other reason other than the people were in need, he loaded up his truck with food, water, and a barbecue grill

and drove to Mayfield to serve others. That is a beautiful thing. That's a beautiful thing. So that means they don't have no electricity, no restaurants, no running water. So I just figured I'd do what I can do. Show up with some food and some water. How beautiful is that?

And look behind him. Yeah, that's awesome. Look at that fucking ground behind him. That is, I've never experienced a tornado, but I got to imagine that is one of the fucking scariest things you could ever experience. Where the sky becomes an angry monster and starts destroying Buildings and especially because they're they're so huge that they don't look like they're moving fast Yeah, it's like one of motherfuckers changing your direction and it's in this on you. There's nothing you can do. Yeah Did you see that one the images of the took of this one that destroyed Kentucky? No

bro You look at the size of this thing. It is so big. It looks like multiple city blocks. I mean, like New York City blocks, multiple blocks of just swirling, picking up cows and trees and houses. And you can't get away.

Where are you going to go? You're going to have to drive through the cornfield. You're going to hope that it doesn't turn. Hope that you don't hit run into woods right when it turns you get stuck outside and get thrown through the air you think one of these days we figure out how to make them turn like what makes them what makes them happen then then then assholes come out and all these assholes were like saying all these fucking crazy things like somehow it's responsible for those people because those people vote against climate change and i'm like what are you saying like meanwhile and they're like you know this is this is what happens when people ignore nature and

no you're wrong you're wrong they've always had these things in fact the number of severe tornadoes has actually dropped over the last few years. The number of tornadoes has risen, but the number of severe tornadoes like this one apparently has dropped. I was reading this scientific... They're more common, but not as deadly. But it could be deadly. That's the thing. At any moment, there's no real pattern.

Like a tornado... If there was, they would know when tornadoes were coming. I mean, they kind of do a little bit. They have some alarms they sound, but they don't know when these motherfuckers are coming. Hurricanes are way easier to spot. Hurricanes, they see them forming. Are they up or down? Well, hurricanes form over ocean, and hurricanes will make their way across the bay.

Jesus Christ, look what it did, dude. Oh, my God. Look at that. Look at that. That's fucking insane. I would want to go to all the houses that stayed up. Who built that? Let me talk to that dude.

Yeah, this drone is a beast. Look at that fucking devastation, man. Look at the devastation of those houses. It's insane. Dozens dead after most of the tornadoes. Not just dozens dead, but everything's destroyed. Look at all the houses. Who's moving back there? How are you going to to move back there think about all those people that are displaced

even if they got out of there before the tornado got there where do they go now they lost everything yeah and i mean don't we have a government agency for that yeah that's fema yeah they're bad at it fema i mean they're not bad at it It's just like when something like this happens, like what the fuck are they going to do? I mean, they can only do so much. They can only give you so much food and shelter, and they do their best to try to help people. But there's images, Jamie, of the actual tornado itself. They're so inefficient.

It was in the middle of the night, right? I only saw images. I saw a video of a picture. It was just being lit up by lightning, so you could only see it when the lightning was hitting. It was only in the middle of the right I always saw images I saw a video of a picture it was just being lit up by lightning so you could only see it when the lightning was Hitting it was only in the middle of the night. That's even scarier Imagine you're sleeping and the alarm wah wah wah I ain't got it Look at the size of that fucking thing So imagine you're outside.

You're hanging out with your friends. Just fucking barbecuing and shit. And the light crackles from lightning. And you look over. You see that coming. And you're like, oh my God. Dozens killed by tornadoes across six states. Just rolled through.

Look at that thing. Jesus. My God, it's so big and you can't You can only see it when the lightning strikes That's like the wolf in that scene like but you don't know where it is like the wolf in that scene Is it coming towards us? Is it is it running away from us? Where do we go? What if we drive into it by accident really bad close and so I Thought there's a video. I saw where the guy was like filming it himself.

And he's like talking to someone. Look at that though. Look at that. Ben, that's the scariest. That's the scariest shit you can see, bro. And you don't know how fast it's going because it's so big. I mean, it might be going 50 miles an hour and you feel okay. Yeah.

I'm fine. Well, the next lightning striking is right in front of your ass. Imagine if you have to get home and get your kids. Imagine if your kids are over that way and you gotta drive that one, you gotta hope you time it right. Or you don't. Or you don't go home.

But you know what? You have to. You have to die with your kids. You either save your kids or you die with your kids. And on that happy note. Merry Christmas, motherfuckers. Bryan Simpson's Netflix special is out right now

It's fucking hilarious I watched some clips One bit that I hadn't seen you do before That was hilarious About the pennies bit I don't want to give it away It's fucking genius No it's on my Instagram now

Oh okay That's where I saw it It's genius You're a funny motherfucker We're gonna be tonight at the Vulcan I'm very excited Hell yeah You're the shit man

I'm very happy to see you blowing up. Let's do it. There it is right there. That's it. Tell everybody your Instagram, Twitter. My Instagram is

BSComedian. Twitter, same shit? Same shit, BSComedian. And do you have a YouTube page? Yes, Brian Simpson. That's it? Yep.

Goodbye, everybody. Bye, y'all. We'll see you next time. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.