The Joe Rogan Experience - #1785 - Earthquake
Episode Date: February 26, 2022Earthquake is a standup comedian, actor, and radio personality. He's the host of "Quakeshouse" on SiriusXM and Kevin Hart's Laugh Out Loud Network. Look for his Netflix comedy special, "Earthquak...e: Legendary," on February 28.
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The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
All right.
Talk to me real quick.
What's happening?
Hey, what's up, Joe?
Great to see you, man.
Thanks for having me, first of all.
My pleasure.
Listen, your special is fucking outstanding.
It is one of the best specials I've seen in a long time.
It's hard to laugh by yourself out loud on a phone.
When you're watching someone on a phone, I laughed hard.
Thank you.
It was great.
It's you.
It's like, you know, sometimes someone does a special and it's like, it's better seeing them live, but you captured it.
It was the journey.
It was the first time I was properly financed.
You know what I mean?
was the journey it was the first time I was properly financed you know what I mean um we wasn't um borrowing money or had the right vehicle properly supported by the distributors and
everything so it was it was the opportunity then I knew the significance of it by Dave being a part
of it that this is the one I needed to elevate me to get off of this level that I'm on right now
well we were talking about this before but in mind, your level in terms of your ability, you're already there.
You're one of the best comics alive.
There's no doubt about it.
So this is a great representative of that.
It's a great representation of that.
Because it's very rare that someone gets as good as you are that's not selling out arenas.
That's how good you are. Well, thank you. So it's exciting rare that someone gets as good as you are that's not selling out arenas. That's how good you are.
Well, thank you.
So it's exciting for me.
Yes, and, you know, I hope that you know it.
You're a comic, man.
You never know what's going to do it, what's going to generate.
I never had a problem with – I never equated quantity with quality.
Right.
quantity with quality.
So when I seen people 15, 17, 18,000,
I never felt inferior
or bad that I had 2,000.
You know what I mean?
The work of it.
And then at the end of the day,
to be quite honest with you,
as a comic, you know,
when you first get into it,
you just want to make people laugh.
And I have achieved that.
So I had already felt
that I was successful.
But sometimes you do sit back and like,
God damn, when are they ever going to get to the East?
They keep skipping me.
How long does it take?
I mean, because, you know, I said in my act,
I'm saying I've been the bridesmaid for so long
and never the bride,
and watch all my friends just get TV shows and everything.
And like you said, I look at my friends and I see them talent-wise,
I don't feel it.
I just look at them and say they had an opportunity and they achieved
and they won on it and they cashed in on it.
I have yet to have that opportunity to cash in on it,
so that's what I'm looking for.
Well, the fact that Dave Chappelle is behind it and that Dave produced it and he introduces you
at the beginning of the special, that's gigantic.
That's going to help a lot.
But we've all been talking about you for years.
Everyone's terrified to follow you.
Everyone.
When we find out that you were at the comedy store,
everybody's like, oh, shit, where is he at in the lineup?
Fuck that spot.
That spot after you is not fun.
Yeah, I mean, when you have nothing but your
jokes, you gotta at least perfect that
aspect of the career. Well, you're a
hustler too. You're always out there and the guys
that are constantly working, there's a polish
that you get when you're on the road and you're
doing those Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sundays
where you're just constantly doing sets.
There's an undeniable
polish that a guy gets.
Yeah.
I mean, you there.
I call them the front line workers.
You know what I mean?
Success takes you off the front line.
You know what I mean?
It does.
It keeps you from your fans to feel exact.
Because we feed off the information that we get from our fans.
Yeah.
And if you're isolated with security or other things that you have to do or the enormous of your career, you kind of like get away from the people who actually support you.
And that's the key to me.
I always stay within my constituents some way, family member or somebody. I take a young comedian on the road with me
who I look up to and say he can make it
and just allow him to be in the life
and I just watch what he do and what he going through
and that's how I keep my stuff up shop.
I do the same.
I do the same and I also bring a lot of comedians
to the shows that I do in town.
Bring open micers, I have them go up, I give them tips,
give them good spots, let them try it out,
give them rough spots sometimes after someone really good,
let them feel that.
Let them feel that.
And I think for a lot of guys, a lot of guys get big
and then they start getting television shows and movies
and you don't realize how much time
that takes away from your standup.
True.
When I was doing Fear Factor,
I remember seeing guys that would come into town
that were doing the road constantly and I'd be jealous.
I would, I was on a television show, hit show.
And everybody wanted to be on a hit show
but I would see these guys that were so smooth
because they'd just been doing those
Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday,
two shows Friday, two shows Saturday, Sunday on the road.
And they were just greased up and just smooth and just everything was polished.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's the top level.
You get to that when you're headlining constantly and your act is just so polished.
Yeah.
And you can see it too.
Irrelevant.
And they're talking about things.
You're like, damn. Yeah. I didn't see it that way.. And they're talking about things, you're like, damn.
Yeah.
I didn't see it that way.
Yeah.
Damn.
You know what I mean?
So it's the beautiful part.
That's what I look for.
You never seen it this way.
Right.
You never seen this angle of it.
You know what I mean?
Well, that's the best when you watch a comic and they say something that you would have never expected.
And you're like, wow, that's a nice angle.
That's a nice angle.
Yeah, that's it.
That's the craft. That's the hook. Yeah. Yeah, that's the nice angle. That's a nice angle. Yeah, that's it. That's the craft.
That's the hook.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the sweet spot.
We call it in the pocket.
That's when you're in the pocket.
You get it.
Where did you record this?
Washington, D.C.
Nice.
Yeah, at home.
I'm from Washington, D.C., southeast D.C.
So when Dave came to me, where you want to go?
I said, well, let's go ahead and make it as rough as possible.
Let's go and do it at home.
Let everybody be here.
So at least, if nothing else,
I stamped my hometown.
That's right. You talk about that in the beginning of it.
Yes. The other guy that
I've had on recently who's
also, it's undeniable
and unbelievable
that he's not huger is Tony Woods.
Yes. Yeah. I had Tony Woods on recently and then we did a show together at the Vulcan. I'm like, God damn, he's not huger is Tony Woods. Yes. Yeah, I had Tony Woods on recently,
and then we did a show together at the Vulcan.
I'm like, God damn, he's good.
Yes.
He's so smooth.
Me and Tony have been friends for over 25 years.
Yeah, me too.
I've known Tony since the 90s.
Yes, Tony is my man.
He's from D.C. too,
and he has that slow delivery and sarcastically
and it's beautiful
when you write do you sit down and write
do you just collect
information throughout the day like how
do you come up with material
I never I write in
my mind I never physically write
what I do I come up with a
concept and elaborate
on it and usually it comes with a truth and then it expands to a big-ass lie.
You know what I mean?
Like they say, the first casualty of war is the truth.
So that's what it is.
There it is, and then I just expand on it and expand on it and expand on it.
So when I get on stage, I never know what I'm going to say.
But once I see it, then I just say what I see
because I see it in my mind, and then I just,
it comes out that way.
That's how I do it.
So when you write new material, do you just go up with it
or do you try to sandwich it in between material
that you've already done?
No, like this right here, I say,
this is what I'm not going to talk about.
I take everything, like this special, I'm not gonna talk about I take everything like this special
I'm not gonna talk about any of that and then I start from then on
So like so you take all the material that you're not gonna do anymore cuz I did it in the special right?
But when you like say if you have a new bit that you're trying to work into your act
Do you try to do it first?
Do you yeah, I do it right there because I know where it is to be funny with it you know the means so I start just say what I find is funny like we going
through this thing with Kuwait I mean with you call it Ukraine excuse me and I
like okay the Russians are marching they're marching so you start from that
point on and just elaborate all the way through. And you just work it out on stage?
Work it right there on stage.
Interesting.
Yeah, I work it right on stage.
Have you always done it that way?
Always.
Really?
Yeah.
See, I had my own comedy club, and it was the Uptown Comedy Corner, and the comedy act
theater wouldn't allow me to perform there.
So when I—
Where was that?
In Atlanta, Georgia. So they wouldn't let me perform there. So when I... Where was that? In Atlanta, Georgia. So they wouldn't let me
perform there.
So I told my mother,
they don't understand.
My mother said,
told you if they're not
going to let you
ride their bike,
you either get your own bike
or walk.
So I'm like,
I got my own club.
And because I was affiliated
with this dude,
they said,
this is not an all-black
comedy club.
It's white dudes
and probably on it.
So they kind of like boycotted
my club. So they left
me there to do all
the jokes. And I had to entertain
them. So I was able
to just go up there and just
go. And it was the best thing that ever happened for me.
Who the fuck boycotted your club?
Other comedians. And you know, back in the day,
because you know, back in the day, you've been in the game long.
If you work this club, you can't work this club.
Yeah.
You know, Comedy Act Theater was the premier black comedy club.
So you got a club in Los Angeles, Atlanta, that's the premier black club.
And it's this new club with dudes that's not from here named Earthquake.
And the owner say, you go up here, you'll never work in my club.
You know what comedians going to do.
They going to like, nah, man, I would do your club.
Gary said, if I go up there, I ain't going to be able to work.
I'm like, all right.
And it was only until Steve Harvey, which is a good friend of mine, called him up and said,
Steve, none of these motherfuckers ain't doing it.
He's like, fuck that, I'd do it.
Steve came in, sold it out.
And when they saw him, come seeing him, they they saw me and the rest was history wow so you
were basically working at your club almost every night every night wow i was the feature the open
mic and the headliner you know what i mean that's why people see and thinking i'm drunk or something
leaning up against the wall that's just what i would do i used to just lean up on the wall and do an hour straight off the top and just hit it that way and that just became
my style and i just continue on see what i say and just riff right off of it that's an amazing gym
to train at like to to have that kind of a setup it's kind of by necessity, but still,
that's an amazing way to work on your act.
Holy shit.
Yeah, that's how I do.
I just come up with some different topics
and elaborate on them.
So you didn't do any prep beforehand?
Like you would never sit down with a notepad
and write ideas out or anything?
No, I don't do that.
What I do is, this is I'm going to start at,
and I continue on, and then at the time,
I tape every show I've ever did,
and I suppose I've been disciplined enough to go back and say,
I know it's something that I want to elaborate on later,
and I got it down so I could talk about it later,
but I never did.
I never did.
I just said, fuck it.
I coped it, and something else to come.
You know how comics do that?
Record and never listen
or never watch it.
How many?
A lot.
Almost every one of them.
Oh yeah.
I got all my shows
and I never watched none of them.
I occasionally will go back
and look at them
if there's something
that I don't remember I said.
I know I said something
and I got to figure out
what it is. I'll go watch.
See, that's where it's also
a key. If I try to think
about what I said,
it'll never come out. Right, because you won't
be smooth. No, I won't. You won't be in the moment.
Because I'm thinking. You know what I mean? That one
is just for y'all. It was
there for that. If I try to capture it
and bring it up and take it to St. Louis,
what I did in dallas
it ain't gonna work it has to be right then and there so you just pray you get up there and say
god has never let me down before and keep on going with it well that is one of the beautiful
things about your style is that it seems so loose and relaxed and natural because if you can achieve
that mindset and just do that every night
and never think about the material just let it flow out yeah that's a amazing gift yeah i mean
it's um steve told me that too it's like because i remember i did get caught up in the comedy club
this is how you pose to write a joke and everything and i was writing and he said what
you're doing i said i'm writing get my stuff everything. And I was writing, and he said, what you doing?
I said, I'm writing to get my stuff together.
He just grabbed a paper, tore it up, and said, you don't need to write.
Your shit come out already.
Don't let them fuck with you.
And once he told me that, it was on.
Wow.
It was on.
So he gave you the advice to not write.
Yeah, he gave me the advice.
He said, don't write it down.
Let it be.
Ordinarily, I would argue with that.
I would say, no, you should definitely write. But then I see what you're doing, and I'm like, leave it alone. me the advice said don't write it down let it be like ordinarily i would argue with that i would
say no you should definitely write but then i see what you're doing and i'm like leave it alone
yeah i mean i try i try to conform it in and put it in and i really to be honest with you
i i envy those polished ass comedians i mean every word like seininfeld, let's go here. I mean polished.
That's not me because mine is like a testimony, like preaching.
You get caught up in the gospel of it and you just some words don't come right
because you're in it.
You know what I mean?
You're in it.
So, you know, it's like Michael James.
Chum on down, I'm pretty sure wasn't written down.
He got into the song and and come on now, it came
and it worked with the song.
Well, some of my favorite people perform like that, like
Joey Diaz. Joey Diaz will
go on stage with some shit that happened five
minutes before, and he'll open with it.
And you'll be dying laughing.
And there's no preparation.
It's just smooth and
natural and just who he is.
You can't achieve that. That's not something that a guy who doesn't do that can do. It's just smooth and natural and just who he is. And you can't achieve that.
That's not something that a guy who doesn't do that can do.
It's like a rare ability to be able to just be smooth and loose,
like right away with a bit.
Yeah, I mean, it's to be,
because we already know that it's funny in our head.
Now we just want to tell you.
It's like, man, guess what I saw? And you want to tell
them, I saw this funny thing. And that's what it is.
You know what I mean? And if
you try to tell the story again,
you'll tell the story again, but it'll never
be like you told it the first time, the second
time, the third time, the fourth time.
It competes, you know, completely.
Just revolve and revolve to a bigger
lie, to be all funnier. Now,
when you prepped for this special, how many shows did you do?
I did two shows.
Two shows.
Two shows.
Same night?
No, one per night.
One per night.
Like a Friday and a Saturday?
Friday and a Saturday.
And which one was the better one?
Second one, I think.
Everybody else said the second one
the first one you say let me get it in the can
the number one objective
for me was to make sure
it captured who I was
you know what I mean
I made sure that was on the first one
then the second one it was like
it's another night at the club I knew I had that one
in the can they was like you ain't got to do the second show
if you don't want to we got it in the can. They was like, you ain't got to do the second show.
You don't want to.
We got it in the first.
I said, no, let me do this one.
And I did it a whole different way.
He's like, goddamn.
Well, that is what it's about, right? When you do a special, like when someone has to do one special and you have one hour to do it.
I always talk about Bill Hicks' special, Relentless.
It was this HBO special.
Yeah, I love Bill.
Bill was amazing.
But that special, you could tell he's kind of tense.
Right.
He's got one shot to do this in one hour.
There's no looseness that you would get from a regular show.
Right.
So if you can get a few shows in, I do four.
I do two on Friday, two on Saturday.
When you tape?
Yep.
That's what you do?
Yeah.
Okay. Because I did two, the last time I did two on Friday two on Saturday when you take yeah, what'd you do? Yeah, because I did two
Like the last time I did twos in 2014 a lady heckled me during the first show. Mmm, and I was like, oh no
I was like if someone heckles me during the second show I'm fucked this one bit. Yes ruined
right when she yelled something out, but
So when I do for though, it's just like right away from the beginning, I'm like, this
is going to be just a regular show.
So from the beginning, it doesn't feel like a recording.
Yeah.
I mean, for us, I feel Bill on that because you really saying I need this to do something.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yes.
I need this to do something.
I need it to work for you.
Yes.
You want your
rate
to go up. And what I mean,
your quote to go up. You want to be
considered in the room. Because, you know,
I tell people all the time, the only difference between me
and my peers is, again, there's
opportunity that they cash in on.
But you at least got to get that opportunity.
You need somebody to say, well, what about
Quake? You know, in the room.
What about, let's try him
in those opportunities. And that
special for Bill
will put him in that room. They say, what about
Bill? I've seen this comedian
that's special. He was funnier.
He would be great for this.
You know what I mean? And that type of thing.
Well, your performances of all, they've all been amazing, but it's all word of mouth.
True.
It's like people had to find out about you because people went to see you and they said,
you got to see this dude.
And then boom, boom, boom.
And it builds up.
But there has to be something that the mainstream can see.
People that don't know the people that have seen you.
And that's what this is.
Like something that can get out there so that anybody can watch it and go, holy shit.
Yeah.
And for somebody to draw them in.
Yeah.
See, that's what's so important about Dave.
You put Dave name on it, then everybody that loves Dave going to come see it because it's
Dave.
And then they get to see the another you.
And he's doing that with Donnell as well.
Yes. Yeah. Donnell's is next month. Is it they get to see The Know You. And he's doing that with Donnell as well. Yes.
Yeah.
Donnell's is next month.
Is it just the two of you?
No, I heard it's four.
Who else?
I think Tony Woods, Ritibita, and Lunell.
That's what I heard.
I asked Tony about it, and he's like, I don't know when I'm doing it.
I'm like, what do you mean you don't know when?
He goes, I don't know.
I'm like, well, you should fucking know.
No, when you're dealing with the master, you don't know.
We filmed this in July.
Really?
Yeah, and it's just dropping here in February.
So you got to work with Dave on Hype because he's a perfectionist.
He reminds me, I worked with Dr. Dre on the beats, the shit, the speakers.
And we did The Voice on it.
And I swear to God, I was in that studio with Dr. Dre for about eight hours.
I'm like, listen, motherfucker, I am not a rapper.
The fuck?
I mean, every word was beside.
Let's try to say what again.
Like I said, how many motherfucking times do you want me to say what?
You know,
but he is like that.
And Dave is like that.
He is particular with his work
and how he want to be done.
And you know,
that's where it is.
So he'll get to it.
And when he get to it,
the way he want it done,
he'll do it.
And I can't argue with this process
because the results was great. Yeah, it's not an accident that he'd do it and i can't argue with this process because the results
was great yeah it's not an accident that he's considered the greatest living comedian yeah
it's he's it's work yes it's work and he's particular with it and he's it he has in it
his timing only people know the timing when they drop it when it's right it's right it's him and
his timing is impeccable yeah no he's, he's also, he's constantly working.
Dave's constantly doing sets.
He'll constantly do drop-in sets places.
Like on my Instagram feed, I'll just find him.
He's in New York.
He's here, he's there, he's in LA.
He just shows up places and does sets.
Like he's constant, and not even necessarily working
like getting paid, just working on his craft.
He's constantly going in and fucking around
and having fun and creating new shit.
He's a comedian.
He turns over an hour so quick, too.
Yes.
We were working together doing arenas,
and he put out a special,
and then he's headlining an arena with new material.
Right.
The special was a couple of weeks ago.
Right. And he's like a couple of weeks ago. Right.
And he's already like working out new shit
and he's doing it in front of 18,000 people.
Exactly.
It's wild.
Yeah.
The confidence is unmatched.
Yes.
Yeah.
Can't everybody ride that quiet?
Yeah.
The confidence was also like the connection
with his audience.
Like they know exactly who he is.
True.
They want to see it, you know, and he knows what to give them.
He knows how to be Dave.
It's beautiful that he's producing specials too.
I love it.
Yeah, I mean, I have never received so much press in my career.
Of 30 years of career, I have never received so much press in this one time,
in the totality of my whole career.
What year did you start?
91, after getting out the military.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, I was in the Air Force for nine years.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, I wanted to do 20 years, but the war broke out.
So I had to tell them I don't mind practicing for war.
Y'all fighting for real.
I got to tell you the truth.
I ain't no real soldier.
I just got here to get out of my mother's house.
Did you plan on doing stand-up eventually?
No.
What happened was I used to just sit there anything to get out of work, you know, because I was that soldier.
Anything to get out. So, you know, because I was that soldier. Anything to get out.
So the USO had a tour.
So I go up there and talk a couple times and that stuff.
Anything to get out of the military.
I mean, get out of work.
And then I saw what's about to happen.
I knew they was getting tired of me because I was a terrible soldier.
You know what I mean?
Came in as an E-1, left as an E1.
What's an E1?
That's the first stripe you get.
Really?
Nine years later, still just one stripe.
Wow.
What do you have to do to get stripes?
Some of them come with seniority and then to get to a level that you have to pass tests
and know all the different aircraft.
I ain't going to get mad about this.
I'm just over here trying to find out what my real purpose is.
You the one got me when you said
it's a great place to start.
You ain't say nothing about finish.
So let's just kick it until we break up.
You know, like dating a woman,
like, you ain't gonna be my wife.
Until this real woman I wanna mess with come along,
I'll just kick it with you.
And that's what the military was.
And it was the best experience in
my life because it opened up my mind because I lived in DC and it's segregated and I found out
it was people out there like you that had more in common with me than difference and it was the
best thing ever it's mine yeah that's water okay so when it's kind of amazing right because if the
war didn't break out maybe you would have never done stand-up.
Probably not, but I would have been out the military.
They would have put me out because no advancement.
You just can't stay in as an E1.
But it was probably not.
I never thought that this was my destiny.
It was the best decision that day.
Nothing better has came along.
So that's what I suppose we're doing.
So what inspired you to do an open mic?
As usual, a woman.
Watching Eddie
Murphy do Delirious, she was falling
all on the ground.
I said, if you want to fuck him,
just say you want to fuck him.
But that ain't that funny.
That you throwing up and all that
you know what i mean just stop it are you just jealous you can't do that i said i can do that
i heard more funny shit than that that's funny but that ain't the funniest thing i ever heard
definitely have to get this reaction you doing so she's like like, come on. I went to the comedy club, and I said, okay, I can do this.
And then the dude gave me $500.
I'm like, okay.
And then the money just kept coming, and ain't nothing came to take its place.
You got $500 for the first set?
First set, dude gave me $500.
What kind of dude is that?
Hey, a good dude.
Yeah.
He was like, look, I want you to come on back.
I'm going to give you $500.
I said, $500?
I said, you serious?
So I thought, you know, must have been a drug dealer or something trying to set me up, right?
And he said, no, I'm going to give you $500.
Come on back the weekend.
And I did the whole weekend.
And that was the $500 for the whole weekend.
And so what was the club?
Coconuts.
Down at the Holiday Inn
in Fort Walton Beach, Florida.
Ah, I've heard of that place.
Yeah, it's,
what they used to do is
they used to rent out
the bar at a hotel.
That's how they'd do it.
They'd go to the food
and beverage person
and say, listen,
we'll put some comedians in here.
They'll give your guests something to do.
And we'll keep the door and give us a little bit off the bar.
And the food man says, of course.
And they'll book us, give us like $50 a show, $100 a show,
and do five shows.
Do you remember your material?
My first joke was something about Michael Jackson.
Yeah, and that was it.
That's all I remember.
Did you write anything out before you went up there?
No.
Well, I tried writing, but my penmanship is so bad.
I've been coming out of public school.
It's a damn shame when you can't even read your own shit.
And my spelling is terrible.
So it was like, okay, it's Michael Jackson.
What did I think about Michael Jackson?
I took it from there.
So did you rehearse it in your head?
Like, how did you do it?
I rehearsed it in the mirror, like most comedians.
And, you know, the toothbrushes are hollering and the toothpaste is standing up and everything.
But it didn't translate on the stage that time.
Just standing up and everything.
But it didn't translate on the stage that time.
Because when I first started doing it, I just looked up.
Unfortunately, looking up at the sky, up at the roof of the place,
like a woman making love for money.
You know what I'm saying?
Ain't enjoying it at all.
So that's how I got down for my first one.
So you just didn't know where to look?
Did you feel uncomfortable? The insecurity, that's why my name is Earthquake.
And people keep asking me, why your name Earthquake?
I say the reason I named my name Earthquake,
because if this shit don't work out,
I ain't gonna mess up my good name.
Somebody come in and say, hey, what's up Earthquake?
Hey, my name Nathanieliel i don't know earthquake it
was earthquake he was there nah that was my brother or somebody but my name is nathaniel
i don't even know no earthquake that's hilarious i thought it was just from the reaction you got
from the crowd no it was an insecurity that if this don't work out i did not fuck up my good
that's hilarious because i thought it was the total opposite.
I thought it was a cocky move.
No.
Like you're about to cause an earthquake.
No.
It was like, no.
This don't work out, baby.
You know what I mean?
I wouldn't scully my good name.
It's funny because it's a perfect name for you.
Oh, thank you.
It really is.
Thank you.
It's in the insecurity of wanting to protect your name.
You literally came up with the best nickname ever for you.
Yes.
Yeah.
And that's how it came.
I used to tell the joke.
People were like, how you came up with the earthquake?
Oh, this is happening when your mother take every precautions not to have a child and you still get pregnant.
And there's nothing else you can name that child but a natural disaster.
That's what I wrote as a joke for it.
But the truth, honestly, about it was the insecurity that if this don't work, I don't want to mess up my name.
Were you living in Florida at the time?
I lived in Florida.
When I got out, I went to Atlanta.
And from going to Atlanta is when from when I went to Atlanta,
that's when I started seeing what the comedy clubs was like.
And that's when we started opening my club two years later.
So you do an open mic two years later.
You have your own club and you're going on every day.
Yeah.
Wow. So every, you got to understand, I'm Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,
Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. three shows on Fridays and Saturdays
One on Tuesday one on Wednesday one on Thursday two on Sunday every day for about four straight years
Wow
Then it just and you doing like an hour every night every show
And it's just and you doing like an hour every night every show
Off the top have you ever read the book outliers? No, it's a great book. Is that a Malcolm?
Who is that? No, it's a someone else is Malcolm. God. Well, it's a great book
one of the things it's about is they detail people who are extremely successful and
He talks about the amount of time that's required to get really good at something is they detail people who are extremely successful.
And he talks about the amount of time that's required to get really good at something.
And how many people that look like overnight successes,
the amount of time they put in was extraordinary.
And one of the things he talks about is the Beatles.
The Beatles, they did all these shows in Germany
where they were doing like what you were doing,
where they were doing every fucking night they were doing shows.
And they had put in hundreds and hundreds
and hundreds of hours doing these shows.
And so when they first, you know,
air quote, made it on the scene,
they had put in so much time performing,
so much different than most bands
because they had done so many shows nightly
over and over and over again.
Yeah.
There's no substitute for that.
Not at all.
And it's the foundation of who I am.
So when I have to sit here,
I go in with the confidence knowing
all I gotta do is make sure my environment is pure
for me to be able to write the way I do,
keep my mind straight, and I can come up with an album.
I can come up with an album.
And when you were doing this, like,
two years in is a very unusual,
that's not a lot of time
for someone to be,
forget about headlining at all,
but headlining every fucking night?
And basically being
the whole show every night?
Yeah.
We would get some comedians that come
on it, but we didn't get any of the main comedians because Comedy Act wasn't happening.
That's such a cocky move to open up your own club two years in. That's amazing. part of town. They didn't serve food. And then the cotton was more,
I mean, the one that really would bring them down.
They were so arrogant with it
that they had booked a comic,
two comics for the whole month.
Same comic, every week.
Every week.
Oh, that's crazy.
Yes.
I remember it was Joe Torrey,
Joe Torrey and Ted Koppner, and they did the whole month.
So when I brought my investors there to get the club, I said, look, these same two are going to be here.
There's 400 people in here.
They got two waitresses.
Plus, they ain't got no food.
Plus, they're in the bad part of town.
So what we're going to do, we're going to put the club in Buckhead.
Black people don't go there that much right there because they don't go there.
We're going to call it Uptown.
And we're going to serve food.
We're going to have valet service.
We're going to be in a better part of the town.
And that's how you got it.
So once you, any of you going to go up against anybody, you first got to recognize their weakness and where you can draw from what they got.
And that's why I pivot all my commercials to them that way.
Are you tired of going down to a place, you park your car,
and you might don't know who going to be there and they're begging you for money?
No.
Come get your jokes at Uptown Comedy Corner.
You know what I'm saying?
Where you don't see the same comedian over and over again.
And we have food.
And we have prompt service and everything else
come to Uptown.
So I just, and as you sit there,
you give them a comparison about a time
and people are like, yeah, we like it.
And that's how I got them.
That's amazing though that you did that two years in.
Like go from your career in the military
where you kind of half-ass it,
you're not really into it.
And then all of a sudden you find this new thing and you're all in yeah you're all in you're you're opening up your own
club 24 months in that's crazy but what you know it was out of necessity because i got tired of
driving night all the way to lakeland florida to get 50 a show and then the biggest one you'll tell a woman you're a comedian
and she's like, I ain't never seen you at the comedy act.
You know, we
segregated
in the black community. If you ain't here
then you ain't doing it. You know what I mean?
So it ain't done.
It wasn't as expanded
as it is now that they
can even imagine this other club.
This was the club of all club, the only club.
If you didn't work there, you wasn't no black comedian.
So you had this in your head that you wanted to do this.
And how did you make that happen?
Like, who did you get to invest in it?
Like, how did you start a club?
Well, it was this dude named Gary Abdu.
He was a comedian, too.
But he booked things in, like um he used to do little
little small places like denny's for example and put a plywood box up there a little small place
sit there and he'll throw a shell and um he'll book me to pay me 150 dollars me ricky smiling
rest of them and we sit there and say what you need to do is we need to open up a black club.
So I showed it to him.
And I said, this is how we can get him what I previously said.
He said, good idea.
So we all went out and tried to get investors.
I went to all, Dion, Sanders, Dominique, all the people in Atlanta.
Hey, man, Sean, just call this person, call this person.
Motherfuckers ain't never do nothing.
One of the person was real,
one of the person represented was very honest,
we said listen man, quick I get five of these calls a day,
he ain't gonna do shit.
I'm just, he ain't gonna do nothing,
man I ain't even gonna waste your time,
you know what I mean?
So lucky, Gary found the number one plastic surgeon in Atlanta, and he invests.
But he told us, I'm going to give you all $10,000.
If you all can flip this and show it can work on the small stage, then I'll get the club.
So we went to Birmingham, a couple places, and turned the tent into about $50,000 to $60,000.
And then when we get there
from that point on, he said, you can do it.
And he gave us the half a million dollars to get the club.
Wow. Yeah.
Dr. Tom. Wow.
Rest in peace, my brother.
Yeah, white dude was great.
He used to
put all the titties in the women in Atlanta, Georgia.
He was the titty specialist. You know what I mean? So if you've seen any big titties in the women in Atlanta, Georgia. He was the titty specialist.
You know what I mean?
So if you've seen any big titties in the 90s and the early 2000s, it was Dr. Dow.
And how did you know him?
I didn't.
My partner, Gary, at the time knew him.
And he brought him in and we got together.
He said, I found somebody I could do it.
But he's just the stipulation for us to do it.
And when I met him, I was cool.
It was beautiful.
Do you remember the opening night?
Yes.
We had 15 people.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah, it was 15 people.
How many seats does it place? It holds 250.
Yeah, yeah, 250 people.
Some of the people, matter of fact um my video person who handles my media
for me um star um she was um that's how we met i hired her as my waitress and we've been friends
ever since wow and i gave her a job to handle all my um my social media. So you go from there, 15 people.
Yes.
And was it you the first guy on stage?
Yeah.
I had a couple of comedians to help me out,
but I was the main man until we was able.
Cause see,
once that club closed,
then all the comedians,
ah man,
I'm sorry,
man.
Man,
I'm going to get down.
Cause now you're the only comedy club in the city.
Right.
You know what I mean?
But until then, it was a battle.
And it was a blessing in disguise because it made me the beast that I am today.
When did it start to catch on?
After Steve left.
Once Steve, and Steve, he taught me so much, you know,
because when he came, he said, I'm going to do your club
because I couldn't get no headliners, nobody that could draw.
And I was like, Steve, would you do it?
He was hosting Showtime.
He probably said, I'd do it for you.
And he came in on a Wednesday, and it was only about 30 people in there.
And I was like, okay.
And he came in and looked.
He said, give them all
their money back
and come pick me up
tomorrow at 5 o'clock
when we do media
I said
what you mean
there's 30 people
he said
Steve Harvey
don't do no show
for 30 people
I said
okay then
and then
I picked him up
and he took me
to the radio that's when I learned how powerful media is and he took me to the radio.
That's when I learned how powerful media is.
And he stopped by.
He said, let's stop by Dunkin' Donuts because we got to get some donuts
and some oysters because you got to smooth these jocks' egos
because they feel you're going to try to take their fucking job and everything.
You got to be good on them.
Don't try to take their fucking job and everything.
You got to be good on them.
And we got in there at 5.30, stayed on from 6 to 9.
I tell you, Joe, when we got back, he had sold out two on Thursday, four on Friday, four on Saturday, and two on Sunday.
Back in 93, I wrote him a check for $45,000.
I didn't even know that kind of money exists in comedy.
I was like, oh, yeah, I ain't never going nowhere.
I ain't never going nowhere. And when I saw him pick up that kind of money and seeing what kind of money can be generated as a comedian.
I said, this is where I need to be.
And once all of those people came and seeing all the things that club had to offer and where it was at and we had valet service and all the things that it could do.
It was no turning back after that.
And they saw me.
So it was great. Wow wow that will change the whole
game that's a great story yeah that's changed the whole game but he said steve harvey don't that's
why i tell people about steve harvey steve harvey has always been steve harvey all with the ultimate
confidence he was like do no show for no 50 people i I said, well, it's packed.
What the fuck you mean?
You're packed.
There's 50 people in here.
I read an interview with him recently where he said he doesn't want to do stand-up right now because his television career is too good and he's worried about cancel culture.
Yeah.
Steve is, oh.
If they really pull Steve to the side and allow him to speak his mind,
you'd think they was out to you.
If they ever allow Steve Harvey to talk his mind, well, put it this way,
if Steve Harvey ever talked his mind the way he really feels about everything,
ah, beautiful man to watch.
I learned so much just watching his craft,
just watching how he put it together, that rah, rah, rah.
Well, I was reading this interview, and it seems like he wants to.
It seems like he's going to wait until he has a certain amount of money
and then go back into comedy.
That's what it seemed like to me because he was saying they'll come a time.
But right now, I mean, he's got family few. He's always got five different shows on simultaneously
Every time I turn on the show TV's got some new show. I told him give up one of these muffins
Goddamn, I don't know how he does it. Oh, he's a workaholic. I just don't understand where he has the time
I mean he doesn't do like Miss Universe and yes
How the fuck does he have the
time for all that sleep and he's a money-making machine yeah yeah he got enough money he just
don't got enough he wants but he's straight i'm sure i'm sure he's trying to get more
well the thing is like when you hit that level where you can make that kind of money
you don't really want to let it stop.
You want to let it accumulate as much as you can.
But I think, like, once you're a comic, you're always going to want to do comedy.
You're always going to want to get that.
The rush of stand-up, it might not pay as much as the other things, but there's nothing greater.
In terms of, like, the way way it feels when you're on stage and
you're just murdering and everyone's dying that's a that is a groove that very few human beings ever
get to slide into who don't want to be the funniest man in the room right i tell people all the time
we got the greatest job in the world because no matter what you do said about a good time with
your friends it includes us laughter you said when you sit there and say it about a good time with your friends. It includes us. Laughter.
When you sit there and say, hey, hey, man, I was with my boy and we was having a good time.
We was laughing all night.
Bingo.
We are the laughing all night dudes.
You understand?
We are that.
We walk with that.
We are the good time dudes.
You understand?
We give good times everywhere it is.
You want your woman.
A lot of women describe how much she love a man.
I was with him, and I swear like we knew each other for the longest,
and we laughed and kicked and everything.
Always got to put laugh in it.
Laugh is included.
It's a necessity to have it.
So I love it, man.
I mean, when you on, when it is, and you know it's hitting,
and you see it, it's beautiful.
It is beautiful.
And it's a beautiful thing to watch still.
You know, I've been doing comedy 33 years.
I still love watching it.
I still love it.
And I was worried in the beginning that I wouldn't.
I was worried in the beginning that I would get jaded or I would be jealous.
I'd watch someone kill. I'm like, God, why didn't I think of that? Because that's how I was when I was worried in the beginning that I would get jaded or I would be jealous. I'd watch someone kill, I'm like,
God, why didn't I think of that?
Because that's how I was when I was 21.
When I was 21 and dumb, I'd see someone kill
and I'd be like, oh, why is he doing so good?
And then I realized that and I was like,
oh, that's so weak.
I'm like, that's a weakness.
Like, you can't think like that.
And I snapped out of it.
And then I just started being a fan again.
See, that's the good thing about me.
I can't watch other comedians because I don't physically write.
So I have to keep my thought patterns pure.
Ah.
So I don't want to watch them, and then I see it,
and then subconsciously I think I came up with it.
Right.
So the best way to keep myself pure, I don't watch other comics.
At all?
No.
Even Dave?
I don't watch any comedians at all.
I see a part of what they do, what their style is,
but when they get into their bits and stuff like that, I tap out.
I don't even watch mine after I've done.
Did you watch this special at all?
Just this Wednesday when we had the premiere.
Really?
Yeah.
So you weren't involved in any of the editing?
No, Dave and my manager, Jermaine, did it.
Wow.
Because I know if I watch it, damn, I should have said that.
I should have said that.
See, that's the gift and the curse with it.
You're like, damn, i forgot to say that part of
it damn i put to put that on it so i have yet to perfect that set that i like i everything
that's supposed to came out in that came out isn't that because like comedy is it's so organic
yes it's just it's like a living thing up there yes you never get it perfect it's never
it's never gonna especially you know you know what you can do and you know that that like Wednesday
was different than Tuesday and it's like sometimes one bit's better one day and another bit's better
another day it's never gonna be exact yeah but see that's the blessing of it you can keep striving
for it yeah you see what I'm saying so you can never get jaded and you can never get burnt out.
Because if you already set that standard for yourself,
trying to strive for perfection, which you probably never do make it,
but God damn it, the journey is where it's at.
And that's what it is.
So I don't even watch it on it.
It's gone.
Let me see what it do.
Yeah, the striving for perfection is where it's at.
It is the journey.
Because the destination's not real.
Not real.
Yeah.
And a lot of us comedians, swear to God, get jaded by that.
How so?
Why do you think?
Because they already know that there is no perfection, so fuck it, why even try?
Oh, but...
You see them all the time.
You have comedians that's been doing this as long as mine.
I haven't, just giving up.
Hell with Hollywood, hell with not having a show.
They're never going to give it to me.
I tell them all the time,
I won't know it because I'll be dead
before I stop trying for it.
I will never know that I will not have all the professional accolades my peers have.
Yeah.
Because I'll be dead.
Because I will always strive to get it.
The thing about the Hollywood part is that you're getting a bunch of people
that aren't even comedians to try to give you something.
True.
That's –
True.
I'm glad I escaped that.
True.
Well, Joe, I can't.
I wish I could.
I think you can.
You know what I mean?
I think you can.
I think you can with this special.
I really do.
It's that good.
But you're that good, too.
It's not like it's just the special.
There's a few guys like you, Dave Chappelle, or Dave Attell, rather, Tony Woods.
There's a few guys that they don't get the credit that they deserve, but the performance
is there, which is the hardest part.
If you're a famous person, but you're not good at stand-up
and then people come to see you that's not so good no that's the opposite of what you want
you're better off being in your position because you've got the product you've got the you've got
everything it's just it just needs a vehicle presented to people and now you have that. Let me ask you this. When you see this self-proclaimed great comic that the industry then put up on there,
and then you actually go see his act in this, I mean, it's elementary at best,
just being that, how do you react to it?
Do you tell him, or you just say, good set?
Because a lot of them, oh, he was outstanding.
I'm like, man, stop lying to that man.
You know that wasn't outstanding.
Say you're happy for his success.
Yeah.
But he's not a great comic.
There's a few guys that get stuck on shows.
When you get stuck on a show or get stuck and you get famous for a show and then, you know, your comedy suffers because you don't have the time.
True.
But your profile gets elevated.
Right.
And then you start believing the hype, and everybody loves you anyway.
That's one of the things that Steve Martin said when he got really famous.
He stopped doing stand-up because he wasn't getting an honest reaction.
They were just so happy to see him, Steve Martin, this huge star,
that they were laughing at everything.
And you see that sometimes with people. they're just happy to see you and so you don't get
this honest reaction so you the difference between and that's what I was
jealous about when I was doing Fear Factor like there was these guys that
were just they they didn't have a TV show like I did but they were so good
they were so polished and it made me realize like after I was done with Fear
Factor no more that I'm done no Fear Factor, no more of that.
I'm done.
No more.
Now I'm just going to be, like, fully dedicated to stand-up and podcasts.
So when you decided to do that, how much more did you hit the stage after that?
Constantly.
Constantly.
Much more.
Much more.
And much more touring.
That's the big one.
The big one is the road, you know?
more and much more touring that's the big one the big one is the road you know Charlie Murphy me and John Heffron did a tour for Bud Light this real men of
comedy tour and we were is the first time I ever did a tour where we did 22
shows in a month and that was like 2007 and we did 22 show we were we would wake
up in a hotel room i don't know where the
fuck i am you stare at the ceiling ohio i don't know where i am i forgot i'd have to look at my
phone and we did these shows where we're headlining just we would go back and forth like he would
headline one i would headline the other and by the end of the month my shit was so tight right it was just cracking and i remember i was
talking to my friend brian and he was like have you ever done this before we've done like 22
hour long shows in a month and i said no and he goes man he goes your show is so tight everything
is so smooth and i go this is what i gotta do i gotta do this all the time i gotta do this all
the time and it reinforced because it was right after Fear Factor it ended,
and that's when I started doing that.
And it made me realize that is,
there's no substitute for the attention that you give something,
the focus that you give something
when you're just fully, completely dedicated to it.
Yeah, and this, if any profession,
shows who's dedicated and who's not. You cannot and this, if any profession shows who's dedicated
and who's not, you cannot
cheat this right here.
The mic, you can have all
the accolades, hey, he's on this and he's
on that. You'll get that first five,
seven minutes. Not even.
Yeah, well. You got a minute.
Yeah.
Then they're like,
come on now. We used to see that at the comedy store.
A guy would go up and he was on a sitcom or something like that.
They'd be like, oh, I can't believe he's here.
Right.
Oh, my goodness.
And then you see 30 seconds in, they'd be like, hmm, when is this going to get funny?
And then a minute in, they're like, what the fuck?
Right.
And there's too many funny people on the lineup.
Yes.
Because you got 12 people on that night.
Right.
You better be funny man there's too much
that's the great part about comedy because if you better be prepared i tell comedians all the time
it's not how many followers you got it's how many comedians you can follow so you must be able to be
able because at some point you're going to be on the same stage where they're able to compare.
Yes. Now you can go and put that
little weak comic in front of you
when you had your own show and then everybody
loves you, but eventually
you're going to come in the pit
and when you come in the pit, you ain't going
to be able to pick your opposition.
Yes. And you're going to put in the lineup
and based upon
your accolades and your profile and your show,
he's going to bump you up to last or whatever.
And you're going to have to be able to go behind all of them.
So that's when you know you are the truth.
Especially when you don't have no accolades other than your name.
I remember when Cat was the hottest out.
We're in American Airlines Theater.
He had just flew in to do the Alonzo morning thing.
Steve Harvey was hosting.
And I don't know what Cat said, but you can hear the shit,
the laughter coming underneath the door and everything.
I'm like, God damn.
the laughter coming underneath the door and everything. I'm like, God damn.
You know, and all the groupie girls was over
there and they was like, come on now. We can
go ahead and go now because Cat
get ready to go off and we need to go
here. And Steve was like, show
over? You out your motherfucking
see this motherfucker right here?
This motherfucker's gonna show y'all what it is.
Come on, champ. I'm like, all right, man, but did you hear what this motherfucker right here? This motherfucker's going to show y'all what it is. Come on, champ.
I'm like, all right, man, but did you hear what this motherfucker said?
I mean, this is when Cat first blew.
And everybody, you know, good evening, sirs, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean, this motherfucker.
Oh, he was so good. Oh, ladies and gentlemen, and pipettes and everything.
And 18,000.
And we in the back. And they, 18,000. Oh.
And we in the back.
I was like, what the fuck?
But as usual, you know, just ride that wave.
Yes.
Wherever he took it from that point on, I don't write long jokes and long setups and got right into it.
And once you get there and you hit them there, you're like, ride that fucking wave.
The key that I noticed when I first started, I would get nervous going on after someone who was really good.
And then eventually I realized, no, you should be laughing at them.
You should be having fun.
You go up there enjoying it and ride the wave.
Ride the wave.
But you're worried, like, what if they don't like me as much as they'd like him?
And if you're going to – I went on after Martin Lawrence in the 90s.
Like, almost every time I was at the – because Mitzi Shore,
one of the great things about Mitzi Shore was she knew how to test you.
She knew how to put you in a bad spot.
And every time I was on the lineup lineup if Martin Lawrence was on the lineup
I was going on right after Martin. Mm-hmm. So Martin would go the whole main room would be sold out. He would murder
This was the leather jumpsuit days
You know what I mean? Like Martin would murder like in a way. I wanted a quick comedy
I would go on after him and
Most of the crowd would leave.
Like three-quarters of the crowd would just leave the moment Martin was offstage,
and then they would bring me up.
He would bring me up because, you know, the comedy star tag teams.
Right.
He would just say my name.
This guy's a real funny guy.
Give it up for Joe Rogan.
I'd be like, thanks.
And I'd just go up and do shit.
But I learned how to survive, and you learn how to grab people.
You learn how to ride the wave, and you learn how to grab people you learn how to ride the wave and you learn how to grab them
Right because you're going on after a guy who's selling out arenas and he's a movie star and he's got his own television show and
He's just way better than you. There's no ifs ands or buts about it
You know it the audience knows it you got to figure out a way to elevate you got to rise up
There's no other way.
You either rise up or you quit.
Or you go home. Or you take
that ass whooping. You take that ass whooping.
You got to take it.
Everybody has to take it. I see them up there taking
that ass whooping. I'd be wanting to stop the fight.
Just
let them off.
Just let them off. Hit the light.
Put the light up and let them get off of it.
That's why everybody wants to bring those weak comics on the road with them.
That's the worst move ever.
Ever.
Because you're torturing the audience, too.
No, but what you're doing is you're giving yourself a self, to be quite honest,
self-comfort that it's going to come back and bite you in the ass.
Yes.
You know what I mean comfort that it's gonna come back and bite you in the ass yes you know what I mean
I like to take
the funniest young dude
that's out there
and take him on a roll
with me
so now I know
what a standard is
and still
shopping still
yeah
so do you
yeah
do you
I mean I give him
30 minutes
do you
and then I come behind
and do me
and as long as doing you and you the top one and I still Do you. And then I come behind it and do me.
And as long as doing you and you're the top one and I still kill all over and they still love me more, that keeps me hot, man.
That keeps you sharp.
You don't want to sit here in these punching bags they put in front of them.
And you can see it.
You'll see it.
But a lot of comics like, I mean, I got friends.
They're like, man,
I'm not coming to work and fight every weekend.
This time I'm away from my wife.
I can go up here
and have a good time.
I'm not sitting back
in the green room
over here sweating
because this young woman
is going to turn the roof off.
Now I'm auditioning
for my own show.
And that's what they feel.
You got to sweat it.
I sweat it still today and local shows
Of course, I put local shows at Ron white Tim Dylan Tony Hinchcliffe
Derek post and I mean David Lucas we have these giant monster lineups. I can I'm still backstage
Yes, getting ready like feeling it here open the door
Close the door whoo, this is a show.
You have to be on that edge.
If you're not on that edge,
you're just not going to be what you're capable of.
You're never going to achieve what you're capable of.
No, you'll never reach your potential,
and you'll never stay sharp.
And if you were doing shows with Cat Williams
during the Pimp Chronicles days,
my God, he was good.
My God.
I mean, Joe, I'm telling you.
The green room was way down.
This motherfucker brung it, and it came underneath.
It reminded me of the Ten Commandments.
Remember when the fog went underneath the shit?
Everybody put the blood up for the first burn.
Don't forget guilt and everything.
His laughter came under like that to the point,
you and a mid-senior,
send us talking to a girl,
yeah, baby, I love you.
What the fuck?
Excuse me, baby.
You go out here and see people stand,
what did he say?
Yeah.
Well, he had a look too.
Yes.
He was funny just looking at him.
Yes.
And he's a very intelligent brother.
Very intelligent.
I learned something from him talking about his preparation for shows,
how he has a playlist that he listens to just before he goes on stage,
and he doesn't eat before he goes on stage.
He goes, I always want to be hungry.
He goes, I never want to be full.
You never want to be full when you're performing.
No, I can't eat before I go on stage.
I don't eat before I go on stage because of him.
Because I saw that interview and I was like, of course.
Why didn't I think of that?
Because there's times where I've eaten, because I'm always hungry, man.
I'm always hungry.
I'm a glutton.
So it's like I have to force myself to be disciplined.
Yeah.
But you look good, though, man.
I'm going to lose about 20 pounds, man.
How are you going to do it?
Just be disciplined.
I mean, I did it before, but after a while, I said, fuck it, man.
You know how I lose weight?
How?
I eat only meat.
Really?
Yeah, only meat.
Yeah, it's called a carnivore diet.
Yeah.
I eat meat and fruit.
That's it.
Yeah? No bread, no pasta. That's it. Yeah.
No bread, no pasta, no sugar, no bullshit.
I just eat steak and fruit.
That's it?
That's it.
And I take a lot of vitamins.
Mm.
And I work out a lot.
Okay, there you go.
That helps too.
I knew that workout had to come somewhere.
Oh, yeah.
That's what I keep saying.
I need to work out.
That's me. I don't have like's what I keep saying. I need to work out. That's me.
I don't have like a I can just hang out brain.
My brain needs activities.
My brain needs tasks.
And if I don't give it tasks, it turns on me.
Really?
Yeah.
My brain's like, what are you doing, pussy?
What are you doing, bitch?
I'm like, listen, I got shit to do.
Yeah.
My brain will turn on me.
Yeah.
I have to get out ahead of it.
Damn.
Yeah.
My brain's like a wolf chasing me.
I got to get out ahead of the wolf.
Damn.
Yeah.
My brain lazy as shit.
Stay right here.
Get this pussy down here.
You know, you done already exceeded your expectations.
You won.
Listen.
You know, I mean, really.
Well, we all have different heads.
You know, you have to think, like, what's the best way to balance out your head?
And that's what I figured out a long time ago.
When I exercise a lot, I can relax.
And if I don't squeeze all the extra energy out of my body, I can't relax.
Really?
Yeah. Not only can I not relax body, I can't relax. Really? Yeah.
Not only can I not relax, but I turn on myself.
Damn.
Yeah.
I am relaxed when I don't do a damn thing.
Let me explain something to you.
I mean, I could sit on the couch for, hey, listen,
I could sit on the couch for four days if I could get away with it.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
I don't need a damn thing.
I'm that dude.
Give me a remote.
I'll sit on that moment.
I got all moment.
Listen, I only go to work because I have to.
Listen to me.
When I get some money, you'll know when I got some money because you won't see me.
I'm being honest with you.
That's why I never understand seeing all these people would say they got all this money.
I'm like, why are you working?
I am.
Once I get enough money to the point that my black ass would never have an unseen episode, you know.
Yeah.
Hey, man, I'm good.
You know what I mean?
I swear.
I can't.
I don't.
I don't.
I don't. I don't get it. I just don't get it. Working, the only reason I see people supposed to work because you're supposed to go get the money.
Right.
Even if it's a pleasurable job, which we have. But let me get the money. My black ass ain't going nowhere.
My black ass ain't going nowhere.
I'm the opposite.
The more money I get, the more I think I don't want to get lazy just because I have all this money so I work harder.
See, I don't want that.
You can keep that philosophy.
I want to get the money so I don't have to be able not to do a damn thing.
I get it.
I get that.
Not a damn thing. I get depressed.
I can't just watch TV.
If I watch TV, I have to have accomplished a lot of shit before I can just sit down and just relax.
That's what, I mean, that's my everything.
Watching TV.
That's my everything.
Right below a woman.
You understand what I'm saying?
Hey, I can't.
I mean, I could just sit there and watch TV and don't worry about nothing.
That's why I have a perfect mentality for stardom because I don't have to go nowhere.
I don't have to be at the after party.
Right.
When I say goodnight, it's goodnight.
When I walk off the stage, I'm gone.
Yeah.
I am.
I go straight to the hotel, chill, and be prepared for the next place I go.
I don't do none of the rest of the stuff.
Wow.
Dave likes to go out.
Oh, Dave hard.
He's an animal.
He goes out.
He's an animal.
I learned about vitamin IVs from Dave.
Yes.
Because when we first started doing shows together, he would be drinking all night.
And then next thing in the morning, he's like, hey, Joe, we're going to do these IVs.
And I go, what are you doing?
He's like, vitamins.
That's how he does it.
Glutathione, which helps your body process alcohol.
High-dose IV, vitamin C, D, E, zinc.
And I was like, really?
So I first started doing vitamin IVs when I worked with Dave, and I was like, oh.
Okay.
So it just rejuvenates the body.
So we would be in a room, and there's like eight of us in there, all hooked up to a tree,
like this IV tree, and these tubes coming off these bags hanging from this metal stack
where they've got all our IV bags.
We're all just sitting around talking shit, getting the IV drip.
Damn.
I heard about them. Yeah. I couldn't afford them. It's not that much, getting the IV drip. Damn. I heard about him.
Yeah.
I couldn't afford him.
It's not that much money.
No?
No, no.
Oh, okay.
No.
I heard about him.
You should do it.
I'm going to try it out one time.
You do shows with Dave ever?
Only a couple of times.
I stepped in the Houston.
I'd say about four or five.
I did it.
Did you do Yellow Springs at all when he had that? No. No? No. Did you go? No, I didn't Houston. I'd say about four or five, I did it. Did you do Yellow Springs at all when he had that?
No.
No?
No.
Did you go?
No, I didn't go.
No.
I went up there when we had to do the taping for the get-together when we were going to release it.
And he did all the editing on it.
Little tale, I could never live there.
No?
Fuck no.
How come?
Nah, I'm not a
Mayberry type guy. Is it really Mayberry?
Nah.
It's all farms and shit? Yeah, it's a small
town. You know, everybody know each other.
But it's great for Dave.
You know what I mean?
Dave can go do what he
want to do in the world and come back there.
You can tell who don't belong there.
They'll stick out like a thumb.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
You can tell.
You can't just say you were just in the area.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Right.
You came here looking for him.
Yeah.
You came.
You know what I mean?
Does he get a lot of that, though?
No, I don't think so.
The town loves him.
And this small town, you know, is really Mayberry type shit.
Well, he's got a comedy club he's opening up there.
Yeah.
He bought a firehouse.
Yeah, and he's going to turn it into a comedy club.
And he's going to call it the firehouse, though.
Is he?
Yeah.
Well, that's what he said last time I talked to him about it.
I told him I'd do it.
Oh, fuck yeah.
It's going to be a 120-seater.
He also said $64 million. Something like that.
That's how much it cost?
He said all together the development when he was cussing out them other people.
When he went to the county meeting or city council meeting when the other buildings was coming,
he was telling them, you want to lose this 64 million to bring that 24 million?
Is that what he said? Yeah, something like want to lose this $64 million to bring that $24 million? Is that what he said?
Yeah, something like that.
Is this it?
Yeah.
That's the fire.
Oh, shit.
Is that the design of it or the actual image?
I mean, it is not built yet, but that's, yes, the design.
So that's a CAD.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
What a great idea.
Look at the image of him and neon on the side.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
And that used to be a fire department.
He has that whole thing in the shack.
Okay, he ain't been in the shack.
He has that whole replica right up there.
Wow.
Yeah.
When is he supposed to have this open?
I don't know, but it's nice.
Wow.
That looks great.
It's perfect.
That's a perfect thing. It's a perfect size, too looks great. It's perfect. That's a perfect thing.
It's a perfect size, too, to fuck around, too.
And if you're in a small town, you could get 120 people.
Well, people are going to go there for Dave.
I think it's a little bigger than that.
But you're only like 40 minutes, 30 minutes from Dayton away.
Ah, okay.
So you're not far from civilization.
And plus, it's Dave.
They're going to go.
And then it's Dave.
Build it, they will come.
Yeah, it's Moses talking.
Come on.
Yeah.
They're going to come see him.
When this episode's over,
I'll tell you about my club
because I bought a place in town.
Did you?
Yeah.
Go ahead.
I'll tell you the whole deal.
I can't talk too much about it on the air.
Right.
But it's got two rooms.
One is 250 seats and one's going to be about 120 seats. Perfect. Yeah. I it's got two rooms. One is 250 seats
and one's going to be
about 120 seats.
Perfect.
Yeah.
I'll give you the whole detail.
Oh, man.
I'm going to come down, man.
Oh, 100%.
Please.
Please.
Makes you book me down here.
100%.
100%.
Oh, come on down here.
I'm just not going on after you.
Ah, stop it.
I'm going to put on
someone after you
that talks too much shit.
That's a lot of people. There's a lot of people, man. That talks a too much shit. That's a lot of people.
There's a lot of people, man.
That talks a lot of shit.
There's a lot of people.
A lot of them.
But those kind of clubs like the Comedy Store or like what I'm going to plan on doing here where you have a lot of people go on in at night, I think there's a camaraderie to that.
There's a thing to that that you don't get when you're just doing the road by yourself.
Right.
And then it's a mixture.
You know what I mean? One thing I do love about the
Comedy Store, they have a
list of comedians and the people come
in and they come out. Then having a set
show. MC feature.
You know what I mean?
Just let it rotate.
I like the tag teaming
too. Each comic brings up the next comic.
I like that too.
It's beautiful. It's a beautiful way to do it. Each comic brings up the next comic. I like that too. Yeah, they do.
It's beautiful.
It's a beautiful way to do it.
Mitzi Shore was a fucking genius.
She really was.
She was a genius.
I liked her.
She gave me confidence because I went to auditions.
Yeah, you can go.
You can do that. Yeah, you can go.
Where's your next earthquake?
Yeah.
Mitzi Shore gave it to me because I showed wasn't going to be no non-paying regular.
You know what I mean?
Walking, you know, watching the door to get on stage.
I just couldn't take that process.
I was a non-paid regular.
I was a non-paid regular for like six months.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah, I had kids.
I hear you.
Yeah, when you got a woman on your back, everything got to be paid.
Ain't such thing as non-paid.
Everything you're doing, you better bring some money home.
I came to L.A. in 94.
I'd only been doing stand-up for like six years.
And I auditioned for Mitzi.
She goes, well, you can go on after the show.
You can be a non-paid regular.
And I was there every night every i
didn't have any friends i didn't know anybody i was on this terrible tv show so i was out there
all i cared about was the comedy store that's all i was out there because that was mecca when i was
when i started out in boston in 1988 everybody would talk about the comedy store that's a comedy
store comedy store in hollywood that's where Richard Pryor would perform.
Sam Kinison would perform there.
Dice Clay would perform there.
You're like, whoa.
It was like this place, like a mythical place.
I remember the first time I went there, there was like a boat act on stage.
It was terrible.
The guy was awful.
The crowd was half full.
I was like, this is the Comedy Store?
What the fuck happened killed your dreams
Well, it just was a dose of reality because the Comedy Store goes in these waves and like like in the you know
The the 80s it was prior and he was this massive star and people are all the celebrities
It would come to the Comedy Store to see him and of course
There was always Robin Williams was there
and David Letterman was there.
There was all these other comedians who were there too,
but it was propelled by the gravity of Richard Pryor.
And then in the 80s, later in the 80s, it was Kinison.
I came in when all that was gone
and there was no big comic there.
There was no one guy.
So there's always, for whatever reason, been a few big name guys. And there was no big comic there it was no there was no like one guy right
So there's always for whatever reason been a few big-name guys, and I got in in 94 where there was this lull oh
So I got to see like these guys that hung around too long
And they had the same act for 30 years and they were half-assed and they were bitter and they hated young guys like me Yeah, come angry. Coming up. That's what I said, angry.
Yeah.
You from Boston?
Yeah.
Well, I was born in New Jersey.
Okay.
But I grew up in Boston.
Okay.
That's where I started doing stand-up.
Okay.
Yeah.
And you came out there in 94?
I came out to LA in 94 because I came out with a sitcom.
I was already on a sitcom.
Okay.
Called Hardball.
It was a baseball sitcom on Fox.
Ooh.
Nobody watched it.
But see,
see,
that's what I'm saying.
Came out with a show.
Yeah.
Boy,
I swear, man.
I know.
Some of y'all.
You just,
God damn.
I got a golden horseshoe.
I mean,
come on, brother.
Then Fear Factor.
No,
it was another show
after that
called News Radio.
So I was on a sitcom
for five years.
another one.
Yeah. So I did that sitcom for five years. Another one. Yeah.
So I did that sitcom for five years, and then I did Fear Factor for six years.
So it was like bang, bang, bang.
How did you get Fear Factor?
Man, I showed up for the audition stoned because they told me about it,
and I thought it was ridiculous.
And one of the guys who was the casting agent had cast me on News Radio.
So it was still an NBC show. and they were trying to do this show and they knew that i had a martial arts background
and they thought well that would probably be good because this is kind of scary we're trying to make
it scary i showed up stoned and i was laughing at everything because that was like my getting high
every day stage of life so i i was there and i was like, you're going to sit dogs on people? Like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
And I was laughing, like slapping the table in the meeting.
I was just making fun of everything.
And one of the producers was like, he's not right for the show.
And the other guy was like, listen, if you, this is my friend to this day, David Hurwitz.
He said, if you don't make fun of this, if he doesn't make fun of this, other people
are going to.
Like, let him make fun of it.
Like, this is what you want.
This is a ridiculous show.
We're making people eat animal dicks, and we're sticking dogs on them.
Right.
You need a comedian to go, what the fuck are we doing?
And so that's how I got it.
They had a totally different idea before I came in.
They wanted someone to fear is definitely a factor for you.
They wanted a sports broadcaster.
The monotone ass radio dudes.
Exactly.
They wanted someone who was like cookie cutter.
Right.
I had a name.
I was on a sitcom.
It was like this would work.
I've already been on NBC for five years.
This would be a good transition.
See?
Yeah.
See how being you.
Now, everybody else that walked in that moment took advice
this is how you should get it
notes
you understand directions
and this is what they looking for and you took your
high ass in there
and said fuck it and got the job
that's what I mean
and it's
that's and if anybody listening to me, especially comedians, that is the key.
You have to be you.
You got to be you.
Just be you.
Can't nobody tell you else how to be you.
And it took me a while to do that.
Because, you know, when I tell people I don't write, oh, yeah, you should write and rehearse this way.
I say, man, it comes out already.
Yeah. Just turn the mic on and let me do it.
And it kills me.
What's your first joke going to be?
What's your second joke going to be?
Listen, I don't know.
But I will stop in seven minutes.
You understand?
Just, I don't know.
If I can't cuss, I won't cuss.
But I will stop in seven minutes if seven minutes is a lot of time.
You do it right for you.
That's you being you.
Some guys have to.
I write.
I write and then I do fuck around too on stage.
But I sit down in front of my computer and I write.
And some bits come to me from that that I never would have got any other way.
Right.
And then I still have to fuck around on stage I never would have got any other way right and then
I still have to fuck around on stage too I have to do all of them but some guys their whole thing
is written George Carlin used to write every fucking word he said everything was written out
he would write like a monologue and then he would punch it up yeah I believe Jay-Z apparently
doesn't write any of his lyrics right keeps them all his head right? I mean, it's at Bill Burr Bill Burr doesn't write
He just he comes up with bits works on them
He'll make like a set list maybe should he's gonna do but it's all in his head
He's all just constantly working on it in his head. Yeah, and he's one of the best alive
It's the whole thing is it's depending on who you are. Yeah, what's right for you is right for you
There is no right way. Yeah, what's right for you is right for you. There is no right way.
Yeah.
The results is the right way.
It's just hard to be yourself.
You know, and when the Fear Factor thing, I was only myself because I didn't give a fuck.
True.
I didn't think it was going anywhere.
True.
And I had a development deal, so I was like, what do you want me to do?
Like, what the fuck is this?
Because I wanted to do another sitcom, and then they came with this, and I was like, this is even better
because now I don't have to work with actors.
I mean, this would be so much better.
Because working with actors is,
I got lucky with news radio
because it was a really talented cast,
and they were fun people,
but I had done some other shit with people
where they're fake, and it's a nightmare,
and you got to play the game,
and they're all reading The Hollywood Reporter
and Variety every day.
I'm like, I do not like you people.
At all.
I can't wait to go to the comedy store tonight.
I'm just here because you're going to give me a lot of money.
And they're some of the most insecure people in the world.
They're so weird.
Oh, they're weird.
They're so fake.
That's why I will never, ever come marry an actress.
I'll never believe her.
I love you with all my heart.
Baby, you're important to me.
Sing.
You know what I'm saying?
Just nothing is, and I really think, especially when they do this method,
I say, why are you doing all this studying, being somebody else?
Who's developing you during that time?
Why are you sitting here playing this actress,
doing all the different nuances
of this person,
doing all these,
but just acting them
for months and months,
being who's developing you
at that particular time?
Do you just stop your growth
at this point?
Say, fuck it.
I'm already reached
the potential I want in myself.
Let me go play this motherfucker
for a while.
You gotta be a crazy person
to be
really good at it but some of them aren't like i've met actors and actresses that are cool as
fuck that are real normal and real friendly but it's just not worth the risk yeah the risk is
you get eight out of ten are crazy crazy there's some of them that are great people they're really
nice and normal they They just love acting.
They love being able to pretend that you're a different person,
just dive into the role and become that.
You know, you got these people that can do that.
They transform themselves with each movie.
They're a different person.
True.
That's a real craft.
Yeah.
But eight out of ten of them are just crazy people.
And I believe it stumped their growth.
And at one point I'd be like, damn who am i talking to you or earl that you played last week you know what i
mean so you you sit back on it i just can't deal with actresses that way well especially with what
we do which is you try so hard to be authentic like the whole thing is avoid anything that takes
you out of being authentic true and what that is is the exact opposite it's like you have to pretend you're this dude who
lives in like virginia in 1600 and you're you're talking in that dialect when you're ordering food
exactly you won't break character what are you doing man no one talks like that anymore don't
call me my name is king earl Don't call me a King Earl.
Have your kids call.
It's just too much.
People that get into character and they stay in the character for days and days.
Yes.
I remember I was reading this article where John Voight, you know, the famous actor, he's the father of Angelina Jolie.
True.
And Angelina Jolie and John Voight would talk on the phone in character.
That's how they have, I'm like, I'm out the phone in character. That's how they would...
I'm like, I'm out.
I'm out.
That's it.
I'm out.
You're asking too much.
If my daughter ever talked to me on the phone in character,
I would drive over to her house.
I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
I'm your dad.
I don't want to hear about this fake Debbie lady you play from Brooklyn.
I want to talk to you.
This Debbie dad. Yeah, I talk to you. This Debbie dad.
Yeah, I'm Debbie dad.
This is who I am today.
No, fuck you.
You're my daughter.
Talk normal.
This is crazy.
I mean, but again,
I wouldn't say they're all nuts
because I've met a lot of them
that are very sincere.
They're nice people,
but it's just not worth the risk.
At all.
And then especially in the real one is
it's the acting coaches.
I want you to go deep down and
grab that feeling when you was
mistreated
wrong and remember that
and translate that into the
character. Oh, fuck, I don't want to open
none of these doors.
Open up these doors
and be on some heroin by Friday
and find out my father really didn't love
me. You know
what I mean? No, I'm good. I'm a functional
adult and I can deal with
everything. I don't want to know
nothing else. I don't want to know what
circumstances my mother did to give
me away. I don't want to know why she did
none of that. I am good, okay? I sleep well at away. I don't want to know why she did. None of that.
I am good.
Okay.
I sleep well at night.
I am good with my,
I know you got to find that pain and translate that pain into the character.
And that way is authentic.
I said,
if I can't just play like I'm crying without remembering when something really
hurt me,
I'm not your guy.
I am not your fucking guy.
And again, I am not an actor.
I'm a movie star.
Yeah.
That's the difference.
Yeah.
Okay?
So we're not going down that way.
That's where it is.
It started from the teaching of those acting coaches
because they ask you that all the time
go deep I remember I had the fire acting coach over that you're not going in a
deep okay let's sit down and just talk about the most painful thing ever
happened to you in your life and that way if you can tap into that you can
bring this character life I said listen lady I my, I'm gonna waste my $55 here.
Because I will not
be here tomorrow with this
kind of shit at all. Especially when you could
be a comic. Like, that was my
take. Like, I remember I was on the set
of News Radio once, and one of the
guys who was a producer said,
why do you still do comedy? You're an actor now.
And
when he said that, I was oh my god i gotta get the
fuck out of here true i'm like i gotta get out of here like you guys are out of your fucking mind
do you know how much better comedy is than this even though this was comedy because it was a sitcom
like there's no fucking comparison not at all everybody would look forward to the laughs that
they would get when they would perform a scene in front of the crowd everybody wanted to get a good
laugh i'm like i do that every night i do it every night i don't have to deal with an
actor i don't have to deal with a producer a director it's just me true and i get the bigger
and my results are bigger than yours a lot bigger a lot bigger and you could ride them and you could
fuck around and and do different things with it you don't have to like
cut that's not in the script like it's it's free you're free very free let me ask you something
when you was a comedian did they surround you with uh established actors and just allow you
to play off of them or you had to conform to be an actor as an acting comedian?
Well, luckily on news radio, the producers were brilliant,
and they wanted us to ad lib.
They wanted us.
So there was Dave Foley, who's from the Kids in the Hall, the sketch show,
and Dave was like one of the secret producers of the show, really,
because he was the star of the show, but he was really like producing scenes.
So we would rehearse and he would come up with completely new lines for things.
And if you had a line that was better than the line that was in the script,
they wanted you to say that.
So they wanted you,
they wanted it to be collaborative where you would come up with the best shit.
So there was fun in that.
And we would write jokes for each other and we would fuck around with each other.
So it was very fortunate that that particular job was,
you know, it was okay.
You could fuck around.
I'm laughing, Joe, because you had a great life, man.
Lucky.
Very lucky.
Blessed, lucky, whatever adjective you want.
But that's a great life, to have a person in a position
to understand your strength and allow you to utilize it.
You have so many people, you can't change the actor, the writer's words.
Those are his words.
And I wouldn't want to look at them and think, this shit is corny.
You hired me because you said me.
But you want me to say something that I wouldn't say.
Exactly.
Or say it like that.
But all right, the Czechs say this.
Come on down here, little Earl.
Come on down here, little Earl.
I did that for the first show, though, that sitcom that I did, the baseball show.
That was terrible.
And I learned a lot from that because that was terrible that it started out great.
The guys who wrote it, they wrote on Married with Children and The Simpsons.
They were really good writers.
And they were really funny guys.
And they put together this pilot.
And Jim Brewer was in the pilot with me.
And it was a producer of that show coach and like
all cookie cutter type right stand-up or sitcom writing and they brought in a bunch of hacks and
they they fucked up the show and it was terrible like i remember saying lines like i can't believe
this is a line on a fucking sitcom it was just not good and yeah and there were talented people
on the show but it was just a bad show and then it got canceled and so to go from that to news radio which was the opposite
working with phil hartman and all these like seriously talented people steven root and maura
tierney and candy alexander vicky lewis it's like hendy dick is like this is a great show like holy
shit it was like i can't believe how good everybody is and then there was a freedom to fuck around
So I had the the worst case scenario and then followed by the best case scenario
Yeah, that's I mean you've been very fortunate on that because
all my scenarios were fucked up I
Mean it is you just read it
I mean, it is.
You just read it.
You be like, God damn.
Who wrote this?
Yeah.
Give me a little leeway on it.
A comic that has to do bad lines in a sitcom is in hell.
Hell.
Hell.
What his name?
Oh, he told me this off of Seinfeld.
Richards?
What's his name?
Michael Richards.
Michael Richards.
He said, Quake, you're going to be on the show.
You're going to have your own show. but I want you to remember one thing. Whatever show
you do, you're
going to be on there. You're committing
five years of your life if it's
going to be successful. You want to go
there and get the same joy
that you do on stage. You don't
want to go there five years of a
job of hell.
I took that and I kept it.
So now when I make decisions, I'm like, do I see myself doing this for five years?
No.
Okay.
I don't want to play this role for five years.
That's a good mindset.
Yeah.
Because we all know those guys who get on a show that sucks and they just take the money.
All they want to do is buy things.
They just want to give themselves little rewards like they're always unhappy they're like i can't
wait to buy a new jacket or a new car a new this or that they're always just concentrating on the
rewards that they get rather than the reward they get from the actual work yeah i mean because you
to be honest with you you need something to justify this hell that you in.
You know what I mean?
Because you in hell.
You could look at some sets and you were like,
I would love to be in that.
You could look at like Martin.
You could tell that was a great place to go to work.
Living Color was a great place to go to work.
You know what I mean?
Wasn't work.
We was all friends coming up with some shit and we just put it on tape.
That's what you want.
That's what you want. but those are hard to get.
And one of the worst things that happens is some of the guys that get those sitcoms that are shitty is they can't do stand-up anymore.
Because they're worried that if they do stand-up and people find out that they're dirty or they said something crazy, then they'll get fired from the show.
Right.
There's a lot of guys that had to stop doing stand-up
while they got a sitcom.
Because, and I strongly believe this,
that's why a lot of them lose their fans.
See, prime example,
whatever show that I do,
it's going to be the biggest show
for most of my audience to see me.
So that's going to be their interpretation of who I am.
So I must portray who I am in my first venture on TV.
So I can bring my fans who already been fans of mine,
they can recognize me in that.
And then the people who just see me for the first time
can come see me on stand-up and say,
okay, that's who I got.
A lot of comedians like like my boy Mark Curry had his show.
Yeah. They Mr. Cooper. Yeah. Mr. Cooper. Good dude, man.
Then they go see Mr. Cooper. He's from Oakland, California. Yeah.
These bitches in these holes. Oh, my God. Mr. Cooper.
What are you talking about now? You alienated the my God, Mr. Cooper. What are you talking about now?
You elenated the people who like Mr. Cooper.
Right.
And the people who supported you and you was the cousin and the comedian see you playing Mr. Cooper like, that ain't the mark we know.
Right.
You see what I'm saying?
So you don't get to transfer.
Most comedians who blow, I have learned this a long time, play themselves in their first major production.
So they bring their current fan and expand their base and their brand bigger.
You know, Martin playing Martin, Steve Harvey playing Steve Harvey, Cat playing Cat, Eddie Murphy being Eddie Murphy.
All of them that blow on that.
Eddie Murphy being Eddie Murphy all of them that blew on that
now all the comedians that did
other things and went into
as a character actor or
comedy actor and didn't do
bring their stand up with them
what they was known for
died
burnt in hell and the way
because they alienated both
they alienated the people who support them
to get them that point and then when both. They alienated the people who support them to get them that point.
And then when they got to that point, the people who just saw him for the first time
wanted to go see him do stand-up and was insulted.
It's like it's the Urkel rule.
No matter what Urkel do, he's always going to be Urkel.
I love Jaleel.
He can be anything, but you're going to see him as Urkel.
Because that was the first he was introduced as Urkel. And people are always going to see him as Urkel. Because that was the first person, that was the first he was introduced to as Urkel.
And people are always going to see him as Urkel.
Now, if he was a comedian, he would never work again.
Because if he was a stand-up comedian doing all that,
no, that ain't Urkel.
And if you supported him, you're like,
why are you out here selling out, playing this dude like this?
That ain't that hard, my man.
And Urkel's, Janelle, smoke herb, hang out.
He's a real motherfucker.
Doesn't he sell weed now?
Yeah, he sell weed now.
That'll kill somebody back at Family Matter.
They found Urkel's out this motherfucker.
I smoked some of his weed.
It was good.
I met him after the show.
He was telling me he grows his own weed and sells weed.
Yeah, but it'll kill somebody right now if they found out Urkel was selling weed.
It'll traumatize their childhood.
That's true.
Yeah.
Mark Curry's a brilliant comic.
Yes, he is.
He's a brilliant comic, and he's very different than he is on Hanging with Mr. Cooper, which
is like a very family, easy, soft show.
Yes.
It's like a nice show.
Nice guy.
Yes.
But you watch Mark Curry on stage.
He's a funny fucking dude.
Yes.
And a great guy.
A great guy.
Great guy.
And he's edgy as hell.
Yes.
So if you into that family, ABC, 830, hanging with Mr. Cooper, role model for the kids
and everything, you go over here saying
Man I'm fucking all these women tonight
You're like
Oh my god
Coach
I think you could say the same
With Damon Wayans now
Yeah you think so
Yeah because Damon
You know he had that sitcom
That he did for a long time
Okay
You don't see him doing
I mean if you go to see him live
Right
You'll still see wild comedy
Right
Yes you will But Damon's in that sort of doing i mean if you go to see him live right you'll still see wild comedy right you know but
damon's in that sort of big money sitcom world where they keep giving him these shows where he's
the star of a show and he's like a dad and he's like family man and he's got the children it's
like a family sitcom there's a lot of money in those family sitcoms i know i'm trying to get
something is that what you want to do i do want to have Is that what you want to do? I do want to have a TV show.
I want to do a TV.
I want to do more movies.
I'm going to do another hour.
I'm going to do an hour.
I'm going to do another special.
And a tour.
Yeah.
I'm going to do the things.
Write a book about my struggle.
Yeah.
Talk to Kev about that.
And yeah, everything that come in the make it bag for comedians, you know, they call
it the make it bag.
You get the book deal, the TV show, the tour, the movies, the fine chick, you know what
I mean?
All the shit that come with the make it bag, you know?
The make it bag.
Yeah, it's the make it bag.
I made it bag.
You got it.
These are all the things that comes in it.
You can just pull it out.
You get to host everything and all that type of thing.
Pull in the comic store in the best car.
Yeah.
You just park in the back.
They say, yeah, man, you going up today?
Nah, I'm just here to chill.
Oh, God damn.
Can I get you a drink?
Make it bag.
Can I get you a drink?
Nah, yeah, thank you very much.
Give me an 18-year Scotch McAllen.
I'm just going gonna sit back here
the the
Book thing is a hard one. That's a that's real work. Mm-hmm. That's a lot of work
Yeah, I had a book deal. I gave him the money back. Did you yeah? I started writing chapters and they were like well
We'd like it to be more this and we wanted to do it. I was like, I'm good
I'm gonna give you the money back. I can't do this. Like, there was too much editorial control.
At one point in time, they asked me to transcribe my stand-up.
They said, that's what we want to do.
I go, what?
I go, but people can go see it live.
I go, if you read it, it's not the same thing.
Not at all.
But they were like, but Jerry Seinfeld did it.
I go, yeah, well, that's Jerry Seinfeld.
I'm like, George Carlin did it.
I'm like, well, they probably needed the money.
Well, Jerry didn't. But maybe they did it because they thought'm like, George Carlin did it. I'm like, well, they probably needed the money. Well,
Jerry didn't,
but maybe they did it
because they thought
that was a good way to do it.
I don't think it's a good way
to do it for me.
I don't want to do that.
Well,
I'm going to have a ghostwriter.
Yeah?
Oh,
yeah.
I ain't writing that shit.
Fuck out of here.
I ain't writing that shit.
I'm like,
this is what happened to me.
Now,
put it in the words.
I'm going to sit down and go over it. You know what I mean? I'm going to have a ghostwriter. Do you I'm like, this is what happened to me. Now put it in the words. I'm going to sit down
and go over it.
You know what I mean?
I'm going to have a ghostwriter.
Do you have like a set of stories
that you want to get out?
Probably.
As I reflect,
I'm a today person.
I live in the moment.
So yesterday is gone.
Ain't nothing you can do with it.
Ain't nothing she can do for me.
It's like a woman that's gone.
So I would have to sit back and reflect. And usually for me to do it, I would to be with friends that made that ride with me. So as they remind me, yeah, yeah, yeah,
that did happen. Put that in there. Yeah, yeah, that did happen. Put that in there.
So how will you do that? Will you have someone come with you on the road and just talk to
them occasionally and have them write shit down and record it? Well, I have a literary
person that does a lot
of books that also work for me
in my comedy club. So she's
been trying to get me to do it for the
longest. And now that it's coming to
fruition, I'm going to allow
her to be the point person on it.
And I supply the stories
and she'll write it all up for me. So you're already
in motion with this?
No, we talked about it.
We've been talking about it for the last three or four years.
I said I would do it when the opportunity prevents itself.
See, I'm not that kind of person that around here.
I'm not a supermarket type dude.
Please, you know the test.
Try this, please.
Would you do this?
This is tied 2%, 2 ounces.
Try it if you like it.
You can come over here and get the whole thing.
I'm not.
Who's going to do the deal?
Let's do it.
If you don't want me, I don't want you.
But I'm damn sure I ain't knocking on your door
talking about I got a book.
Can you do it?
No, no, no.
So I really believe when it's your time,
it's your time,
and then it'll fall in place.
And that's what I'm going to do.
Now that the opportunity has presented itself,
then I got a person that we've been talking about
for the last five years that'll take care of it for me.
So that's one part of the make it bag.
Yeah.
Book deal.
Yeah.
What's the big one?
Is it starring in a movie?
Is it starring in a sitcom?
Both.
Both.
Yes, I want, you know, I do what you do.
I have a radio show.
You got the podcast.
I got to talk to you, too.
I ain't going to make it over here like you doing.
I've been watching you two say, boy, I got to talk to Joe.
God damn it now.
Yes, I want to have a hit.
I think I can hold the country's attention for 22 minutes if you give me a statistic situation with some actors around.
Do you have an idea who you want to do it with?
Yeah.
I thought I was going to work out something with CBS, but unfortunately, they didn't come to fruition.
They played with me.
And so now we're just out here and see what we're going to do.
I would like to have a network television show.
I would like to.
Me and Donnell are starring in my first lead in a movie,
so we got that one done.
What's that?
It's called Bedridden.
It's about a dude who's a very arrogant womanizer,
and finally, you know, karma catch ups with him
and he's temporary paralyzed
and he's bedridden
and he's losing his company
and wife at the same time
and see how bad he inflict pain
to his wife and his kids
and those type of things.
Ah, wow.
And Donnell plays my brother on it,
you know,
and we did that
and we did an independent movie
together for that and I want to do more of that and my own sitcom around my life
that kind of thing where I'm at now so around your life as a stand-up yes yeah
about to blow and I finally blow and now the kids that I couldn't get to see now
they came and visit me and never left
now they living with me yeah that type of thing yeah so you've been thinking about this for a
while yeah we was in um development for it we got all the way up to the president of uh CBS but
unfortunately you didn't see our view on it you know what I mean it's a gamble you know they have
like 30 shows and they have like four slots.
And so they'll have to like, I've been in that developmental process.
It's a strange process when they're trying to figure out what's going to work and what's not going to work.
I mean, I get that too.
But to give an honest shot, if you're going to give it to you, you at least got to shoot a pilot to see what you got. I don't think you can sit down and say if it's good.
Like you just said, you can't tell if it's funny just off the paper.
No.
You have to sit here and put the players involved and then look at it and say this is what you got.
If you honestly say that you're trying to give a show and definitely if you say you're trying to have diversity on CBS,
diversity on CBS.
You have to, at some point,
allow, you know,
the actors to put it on or invest enough to see what you
got tested and see is it.
I understand the four slots, but
if you're going to sit here and say you're trying to do
diversity
with the NAACP, it's supposed to be
a slot there already.
It's supposed to be one there, or at least an opportunity
for it. you know what
i mean so that's the that's what i come in the vein it's i i never want to be anywhere that no
one wants me to be but at some point in this game that we're doing you if you if you're not familiar
with with the uh the the creative aspect of certain people,
you have to at least see it and let someone else see,
can this work?
You know what I mean?
That's the way it is.
I mean,
I don't think anything should be killed just on the paper right there without you
invested in the point to see it,
especially if you was part of writing it itself.
And you were happy with the script and how it came out?
Yeah, I mean, we got write-ups from the president of the network,
notes on it, on the script and everything.
And then when it came to the point of, they said they passed up on it,
and it was shocking to me to the point that we didn't even get a chance
to even shoot the palette for it.
Sometimes it's like a bunch of shit.
Like the people that are producing it,
they don't have a good deal with the network.
Or, you know, like sometimes the network wants to produce
and own their own shows.
And maybe Warner Brothers will come to CBS or something.
They like it, but Warner Brothers owns it.
So they don't want Warner Brothers to make a shitload of money.
And CBS has their own show.
They'd rather take that even if it's not as good.
There was a lot of that at nbc yeah but we was on we was coming out of cbs studios so there's no cbs on there the writer had a deal already with cbs to write it and i'm already
on cbs while working on the neighborhood so everything was in house you know what i mean
and then we did an announcement, you know,
saying that it was part of the NAACP diversity to put more on there.
So I was shocked about that, to be quite honest with you.
And, you know, we're going to see what we're going to do with it because we're still on here.
But I do want to have a TV show and might end up being on Netflix.
So was this the past pilot season?
This happened about a week ago.
I was just known again.
Oh, that's why you're so hot.
I'm not hot.
I mean, you know.
I get it.
I mean, I just don't understand the process if you sing,
you want to include.
If you don't, then don't.
You know what I'm saying?
If you have a, how can I put this?
If you have a demographic that's happy where it is and you don't want to, God bless you.
But don't come over here.
It's equivalent to say, hey, I do country music.
But country music is good, but I want some R&B on here.
I want you to come over here and put some R&B song on our station.
Like, all right, I submit the song to you, and you sit down here,
and you go over to work.
Nah, people don't want to hear that, don't hear that.
And we reconstruct the whole song around after three or four rewrites of my song on it.
And then I said, okay, when we going to go to the studio
and cut the song?
And they said, nah, we don't like the song.
You wrote the motherfucker.
I thought you said you wanted it on here.
Do you have an opportunity to do it at Netflix?
Because I think that's the best place.
I don't know.
I mean, you know the deal.
We couldn't go nowhere else while we was doing it with them.
We thought we was there with them.
But now you're free?
Are you free?
I don't know what my situation is right now.
It's just fresh off of it.
It just happened this Friday.
Netflix is exciting to me
for something
with you doing it
because you could be yourself.
Language,
subject matter,
no restrictions whatsoever
and no commercials.
True.
Commercials are bullshit.
I know.
They're brutal.
Yeah.
When you watch these sitcoms
and they have to cut everything
into these little chunks
so that it fits perfectly
inside of a network break, it just doesn't work good it's not fun it's not and then you have to
sit there and watch the commercial and wait for it to come on or you record it in advance you have
to fast forward through it with netflix you film the whole season you watch it all in one sitting
if you want you can binge watch it you can pause it. Go take a shit. Come back.
Start it up again. It's
a better format. It's just better
because it's uncensored. It's better
because the programming on Netflix
is better. We were talking about Ozark
before the podcast.
God damn, that's a good show. My friend
Eric is the producer and creator.
Oh, really? Yeah. He wants
to do something with it. But I want to take anywhere that they want us.
Anywhere you want it.
Wherever you want it.
You know what I mean?
Wherever you want it to allow me to be me.
I have no problem with any format.
Do you.
Right.
But if you're going to come and say you want to do us and you want me to do us, then allow me to be me.
Yeah.
And negotiate. Okay, I'm going to say negotiate. us and you want me to do it then allow me to be me yeah and and and negotiate okay negotiate
but if it is if this is what you want then come in in all good faith yeah that's all i get it
you know and it was it was it was very disappointing no i understand it was very
disappointing like a lot and we all been through because i think dave done had more fucking development deals
than anybody in their life oh he's a lot yeah shit loads it's just free money a lot of times
free money and meetings yeah well we didn't get no money no no money no we didn't give you money
for the development deal for to put together no we ain't get no money. That's just boring.
That's like the fun of it.
I mean, no money.
That one used to be like the whole thing
about Montreal Comedy Festival.
Everybody get a development deal.
Yeah, you were talking about six, seven figures.
You was like, yes, that money gone now.
They don't do that anymore?
No.
No, they sit around and probably keep buying.
$18,000, that's it.
Tell you, just sit here.
Thank you for your shit.
You know, but you ain't no money.
And you're talking about five, six months.
And once you negotiate with them, of course you can't go to nobody else.
Exactly.
Because you're saying, hey, man, I'm going to have this.
Six months.
Yeah, six months.
And they dangle that carrot.
Oh, they dangle that carrot oh they dangled that
motherfucker
I was around this bitch
just knew I was going
I was like
when is the Super Bowl
gonna be on CBS
cause I'm gonna be on that
motherfucker
I can't wait
until they give me
the plug
and the teaser
Quake House
today
8 o'clock
on CBS
and them motherfuckers
called me up
boy they get
boy
they give you that call.
That's the worst call
in the world,
though.
Ah,
they found out
they want to go
another way.
Another way.
Yeah.
Like,
well,
without even seeing it,
I mean,
you ain't invest enough
to even do a palette
to see,
to play it.
I mean,
come on, man.
But that's the problem that I always had with Hollywood
is you have to be chosen.
And that's one of the things that makes people so crazy.
Like some people don't have the mental fortitude
to withstand that kind of rejection
over and over and over again or disappointment.
And like if you think about what,
like especially with actors,
you get a bunch of people that are insecure,
that are kind of crazy to begin with.
And then they go to this place where they're they're asking you to pretend in this moment like okay
uh quake you're gonna sit down with mike and mike is gonna play sally so there's a guy pretending
to play your wife and you're you're running through the scene with this person and like okay
well thank you uh we'll be in touch and then you leave you're
like i don't even know how that was and like it and you got you have to be chosen yes so you start
to see people behaving in a way that they think the casting agent would like true saying the kind
of things they think the casting agent wants to hear true they did they adopt the politics of the
casting agent true you know they'll say something about a current event
thing like my heavens like why are we even
doing this
yes why are we doing this thing
thank you Joe we agree with you
you feel like a piece of shit
when you're getting a cup of coffee afterwards
like what the fuck is wrong with me I'm a whore
my lips are chapped in a month
ass I kissed
trying to get this
this show man
I mean
it was
but you know
I never take it personal
cause again
like my mother said
you can't get mad
at somebody
that ain't gonna let you
fuck with they shit
you know what I mean
at the point
it's
people ask me
all the time
you know
like Quake
my fans say it to me
Quake you the funniest motherfucker.
Why you ain't got no TV show?
Why you ain't got no movies?
I say, ain't like I turned the shit down.
Ain't like I said, hey, yeah, I want to be on CBS.
I'd rather be in Lackland, Florida, you know, somewhere else.
But it's subjective.
What's funny to somebody is not funny to another.
but it's subjective.
What's funny to somebody is not funny to another.
So I always,
the way I took it is
I just haven't made
the right person laugh yet.
Who that will believe in me
to sit here
and give me the opportunities
that my peers didn't have.
And until I break that person
who believes in me
that sees that I am
a valuable commodity
that could do both me and them a great service
in what they say they're here to make entertainment
and TV shows,
then I will always be sitting at the door
with this bullshit.
And it won't.
And I don't even take it personally, man.
I'm so fucking used to it.
I try not to put myself out there. So you feel the pain. So you don't even take it personally, man. I'm so fucking used to it. I try not to put myself out there.
You know?
So you feel the pain.
So you don't feel the pain.
Yeah, because disappointment is the worst thing for me.
I'd rather not have it than to be disappointed.
You know what I mean?
So in the future, the next one that I do,
unless they come to me and say,
hey, we're going to put you to series,
this is what we get,
but it ain't going to no more stringing along you're not gonna be sitting around here we together
and then give me a call at 12 o'clock on a Friday night and say nah well when
you've been doing it as long as you have to it's like and you develop an audience
the way you have it's like you don't want to fuck with that anymore but
you're always wanting that thing that you didn't have.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But to me, to be honest with you, it's just expanding what I am already.
I hold people's attention for an hour.
I know I can do it for 22 minutes with a lot of people playing in a fictitious world.
Come on.
God damn.
And it shows that it worked.
That's why you have so many reality shows that's killing your scripted shows.
Yes.
Because your fictitious world you bring it up, don't nobody buy this.
You understand what I'm saying?
Don't buy it.
And definitely if you don't know about that world, you at least have to see it so you can see it tested as a CEO of anything.
Yeah.
To expand your own brand.
If I owned a record label and I want some country singers, I'm going to get somebody
to know about country singers.
And I'm like, is that good?
Okay, that's good.
When I own a comedy club, I used to tell people all the time, I don't book
the comedians. The crowd do.
And it's not my job to
find is he funny or not. Do he
pull the people in and they laugh? Then that's
what it is. How I feel is
irrelevant. Yeah.
I would prefer my friend to be up here,
but if my friend is only bringing
10 people and Shucky
Ducky is bringing 200, Shucky Ducky is bringing
200 Shucky Ducky quack quack is coming on through here yeah regardless if I
think my friend is funnier then Shucky Ducky because I have to sit here and
make a decision based upon but what the fans and what the consumer wants and you
have to evolve that's the great thing I say about
rap is they always had a person like Russell Simmons pit P Diddy Puffy they
was able to talk to the radio the record label say listen we got what you need
don't come down here mess with our artists because you'll never understand
it right Eva trust me give me the money and I bring you back the results yes but got what you need. Don't come down here and mess with our artists because you'll never understand it.
Eva, trust me,
give me the money and I'll bring you
back the results.
Yes.
But don't you come
into the booth,
don't you come in the booth
and say,
he shouldn't say that,
that ain't how it is,
he don't understand.
Do you want to win
or you don't want to win?
We in comedy
has never had a Puffy.
We have never had
a Russell Simmons.
We had a Walter Latham and he did the kings of comedy and
all them brothers came out and became stars but he got upset because he think he supposed to go
farther with him so he never did a king of comedies two three four and five he just shut the
down and didn't let nobody else play king put king on nothing else no more. He came back with another tour and called it the
Walter Latham Presents. I was on it.
And I was like, present what?
Don't nobody know you?
Don't nobody know you, man?
You should call this King of Comedy 2.
We already had brand recognition
so we can continue on, but you still
mad at them brothers because they elevated and didn't go that way
So what you gonna do
All these people
No because we never had a person
Didn't want to be us
But I mean him
Imagine that kind of ego
You're getting to work with these amazing comedians
You put together this huge hit
But you don't feel like you're getting enough attention
Exactly He did us and I swear to God You put together this huge hit, but you don't feel like you're getting enough attention. Exactly.
He did us, and I swear to God, Joe, he did it with me, Bruce Bruce, Ricky Smiley, a lot of—
he had us all surrounding him, and he was in the middle holding his hand, like, his hand, yeah, on the poster and the advertiser.
What?
Yeah.
So Bruce Bruce said, I just want to know
how much time
the motherfucker
in the middle
going to do.
You know what I mean?
Ego.
Ego.
Ego's so crazy.
I'm sitting here.
Yeah,
look at that shit.
Look,
he's in the middle.
Layton presents
all new DL,
some more,
me,
Bruce Bruce,
J. Anthony Brown,
and Ricky Smiley.
He was not named
at the Kings
because of what
the relationship
was with them.
Oh, that's crazy.
He didn't like
how it turned out for him?
No, so make sure
he get the claim
Walter Latham presents.
And I said,
who on the fuck
is Walter Latham?
Nobody know who you are, man.
Latham presents. And I said,
who in the fuck is Walter Latham? Nobody know who you are,
man!
See, I ain't had these breaks you had. The people say, yeah, you should
let him do this. You had
this kind of shit. Well, my hope for you
is that this Netflix special, which
I think is undeniable.
It's so good. I think
Netflix opens the door.
That's what I think. I think that's the smart thing to do.
Because, look, this special's going to be killer,
and then you having a sitcom on Netflix is natural.
It's easy.
It's better.
It's better.
It'll be real.
You can say whatever the fuck you want.
Yeah.
They'll let you fuck around.
Like, Netflix leaves you the fuck alone when you do a special.
It's beautiful.
I've done three specials with them. Like Netflix leaves you the fuck alone when you do a special. It's beautiful. I've done two specials with them, three specials with them.
They just leave you the fuck alone.
They never say anything to me.
And they take care of you.
Yes, they take care of you.
I ain't got no Monique problem over here.
Yeah.
It was good.
Yeah, they take care of you.
Yeah, they take care of me.
And they leave you alone.
They leave you alone.
They just like, they trust that you're funny.
They go, when are you going to record it?
Okay, we'll go watch. They're there to watch funny. They go, when are you going to record it? Okay, we'll go watch.
They're there to watch.
And then like, when's it going to be delivered?
September.
Perfect.
Okay.
It'll air in fucking November or whatever it is.
And it's nothing.
There's no involvement in the creative process, which is beautiful.
Because I had to deal with Comedy Central.
And they had to make a transcript of my set.
And then I had a phone call with them and during and the phone call the transcript they go well you can't say that yeah they got to the
third you can't say that I go stop I'm good I'm done I quit and they're like
what I go I'm not doing this I'm not doing this with you guys right I'm not
doing this Mike this is not happening eventually on to do one a couple years later,
but there was no problems with that material back then.
They had kind of changed when streaming came along too
because they realized they kind of had to open up the content a little bit more
because they were losing comics.
They're losing people to Netflix and losing people to HBO and Showtime
and places where you could just be free.
Do you feel that Netflix is what HBO used to be with?
Bigger.
Bigger.
Bigger.
Bigger.
It's bigger than HBO.
What HBO was, there was only HBO.
The thing about HBO is it's still around.
There's still guys who do HBO specials and they're still great.
But what Netflix is, is you can watch it any fucking time you want.
You can watch it on your phone.
I mean, I know that HBO has HBO
what is it? Max?
HBO Max. Yeah, which is great.
Right. But...
Netflix is good.
It's a beast. And it's global.
It's global. It's a juggernaut.
That's what Dave told me. He's like, man, you don't even
understand. You're gonna be raking in money. I said a juggernaut. You can't stop it. That's what Dave told me. He's like, man, you don't even understand.
Yeah.
You're going to be raking in money.
I say, please let that come.
Jesus.
It's easy for you to say why you sitting on it.
But please let it come.
Well, a guy like you, one of the beautiful things is you can turn over an hour quick.
Yeah.
So you do this special.
This special comes out.
And then you can do another one in a year.
Oh, I will.
Yeah. I'm working on it right now.
That's what I'm talking about.
No, it's going to be better than this one right here
because now that I see it, I'm going to get this stomach off
and I'm going to get ready for it.
And that's all I'm thinking about from that point on.
I told Dave, I said, all right, man, we're going to follow this up
with this owl.
And he was like, yeah.
I said, yeah, man.
And he was the one who told me don't even try to get a TV show.
Really?
Yeah, because he wanted the executive to produce my TV show.
And I was talking to him.
He was like, listen, man, you don't even want to go down that road.
And just go be the top comedian for a year.
Smell the roses after you drop this.
Be the top comic, then come back.
I'm like, no, no, no.
I want to be on TV. I want to
do this TV. You want that make it
bag. I want that make it bag.
I want that
goddamn make it bag. You know, the thing is,
man, when something like that has been in the distance
for so long and now
you can grab that bitch. I thought I was
so close, too.
You don't every day get to talk to the president of the network.
He's like, boy, I know I'm in.
And you're like, I think I'm in.
But it just didn't come to fruition, and everything happens for a reason.
But, boy, I thought I was close.
I swear, you couldn't tell me a damn thing, Joe.
I just knew.
It was going to happen.
Oh, it was going to happen.
I was, I was i you couldn't
tell me that it was i tell you quake i think it's for the best i did i do i know it'd be great to
have that but i think you'd be better on netflix and i think you're you're i think your special's
going to be gigantic and i think from there you doing an even bigger special in a year from now
you're going to be like thank god i didn't do that corny-ass fucking CBS bullshit.
I have to fuck up my jokes and change the subjects and change.
Fuck that.
Fuck that, man.
You're too good.
You're too good for network TV.
It was a blow.
It was.
I ain't going to lie to you. It was.
It was.
It was.
It was.
It was.
It was. It was. I can tell. was, it was, it was, it was.
I can tell.
Oh yeah.
And it's fresh.
It's fresh. It's a week ago.
Yeah, it was a week ago.
On a Friday night.
It's terrible, but it's for the best.
Yeah. I believe that.
I really do.
I think there's not,
there's not a lot of guys that are as funny as you.
You're at this elite level of standup comedy
where me personally as a comic,
but more importantly as a fan of comedy
i love excellence i love when someone achieves this level of harmony with the audience and the
material and the delivery and the years and years of performing the polish of the boom boom boom
boom i mean that special is just one after the other. The bang, bang, bang. The pauses are perfect.
The time in between the jokes is perfect.
It's beautiful, man.
That's what I like.
Fuck a sitcom.
Fuck sitcoms.
You can say that, man.
You didn't have them in your Spotify.
You over here nice.
Fuck them.
They can't call me.
You can call me.
I'll start laughing like, what do you want me to do?
I know you'll laugh.
I'll be over that motherfucker.
I forgive you.
Look, I forgive you.
Let's do it again.
I think you doing a sitcom anywhere other than Netflix or even HBO or somewhere where they just let you be free, it's a travesty.
Your material is too – you're too edgy.
You go out there.
You say risky shit.
And that's beautiful.
That's what I love.
You know what I really wanted to play, though?
The black Archie Bunker.
Oh, someone needs to.
The black Archie Bunker.
That's what I wanted to do.
It's amazing that no one has. I mean. Because a black guy can pull it off today. Oh, yeah, the needs to. The black Archie Bunker. That's what I want to do. It's amazing that no one has.
I mean.
Because a black guy can pull it off today.
Oh, yeah, the right one.
Still, yes.
You can do it.
I can pull it off.
100%.
Oh, I can pull that off.
I'm talking about the show.
I mean, the black Archie Bunker.
Yes.
Oh.
Yes.
Oh, man.
The things that I wrote for this show, for the black, we have that.
And the black Archie Bunker is what I would love to play.
That right there.
Well, Red Fox kind of did that a little bit with Fred Sanford.
Yeah.
I wanted a higher note just on Red Fox, that kind of way.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, as a fan of comedy,
I'm hoping that you don't get any sitcom.
I'm hoping if you do, it's going to be on Netflix,
and I'm hoping you just go on to do hour after hour after hour.
Because your ability to turn over material is extraordinary,
and your ability to write is extraordinary.
And I think that that's just,
you have these chops that very few people develop you you don't get a chance you don't get a chance to hit that level of of excellence as a comic this does not how many
guys get through it like how many of us are there let's talk about that is there even a thousand of
us on earth no probably not if you're going to be honest yes like a real headliner a thousand of us on earth? No. Probably not, if you're going to be honest. Yes.
Like a real headliner?
How many of us?
Yeah.
There might be 500 of us on earth.
Yes, on earth.
There's a million doctors in America alone.
Yeah.
How many comics are there?
Real ones.
Real ones.
Guys can go up there and light a room on fire.
Yes.
Maybe, maybe a few hundred.
It's hard to get there.
Yeah, it is. So when someone gets there like you, I's hard to get there. Yeah, it is.
So when someone gets there like you,
I want you to stay there.
I mean, I want you to get everything.
Everything you want.
I want you to get all the accolades
and all the money
and all the make it bag,
but fuck that sitcom.
You sound just like Dave.
You know that?
I can tell both of y'all are gals.
That's why I love him.
Yeah, you and Dave,
that's the same thing he told me before I even did my deal.
Fuck that.
You don't need that.
Because Dave and I, we both have fuck you money.
Yeah, y'all do.
That's what it is.
And I got, if I don't work, God damn it, I'm in trouble money.
But that keeps you hungry and sharp.
There's something about that too, man.
There's something beautiful about that, too.
It's beautiful.
It is.
And I just want to explain.
But see, in my defense, y'all both had successful TV shows.
100%.
Y'all both have already achieved that feather in your cap.
I've developed the ability to say, fuck you, because of Fear Factor.
Yes, you have.
I got that Fear Factor money, and then I was like, oh, I'm free now.
I'm free.
And then I just wouldn't listen to anybody anymore.
Yeah.
And that's when I started doing the podcast.
Yeah.
And look at you.
Yeah.
Listen, man.
I watch you.
That's why I was going to call you.
Like, all right, man.
How do I?
Because my show is on Kevin Hart's.
It's on Sirius, right?
It's on Sirius right here.
And I watch you.
How much longer are you doing it on that?
I do one-year deals.
That's good.
I only do one-year deals.
This is my thought on that.
First of all, being connected to Kevin Hart is a blessing.
It's an amazing thing.
He's an amazing guy.
But the problem with something like Sirius is it's limited to people who have serious true
which is a lot a lot of people right but it also doesn't work in a tunnel right you know it's weird
like the satellite thing is weird true you know it's the internet is better like you don't want
i don't want to tune in when it's on i want to get it whenever the fuck i want it right i want
to download it before i get on a plane you know i, if I'm going to listen to a podcast, I want to listen to it when I'm running.
I want to press start when I want, you know, and that's the beauty of the internet.
And the satellite was amazing when it came along because when it came along, it was uncensored.
It's like all of a sudden you have this uncensored medium that's basically like when Howard Stern
went over to Sirius, it was a giant thing.
that's basically like when Howard Stern went over to Sirius,
it was a giant thing.
Because here you got this guy who's the greatest uncensored radio personality ever.
Everybody says that.
He's the guy who opened up the doors for everybody like me.
And now he can be uncensored.
Now he can go wild.
He doesn't have to worry about the government.
Like, people forget the government was coming after Howard Stern.
Yes, they were.
The FCC was fining them hundreds of thousands of dollars every time he would say things that are easy now.
Now all those things that he said are nothing in comparison to things we say every day.
But back then it was a big fucking deal.
And he was the guy that got arrested or got in trouble rather and sued.
He was the guy who broke down all the doors.
Just like guys like Richard Pryor and Lenny Bruce and George Carlin got arrested for material.
He was in trouble.
He was in trouble for talking.
But the internet doesn't have any of those restrictions.
Like if your show that you're doing on Kevin Hart's thing, you just take it to the podcast world, it'll be fucking huge too.
the podcast world, it'll be fucking huge too.
I never understood the background and everything had to do with podcasts, but I knew everybody had one.
I was like, what the hell going on?
It's just talking shit and you're a master at that.
Yeah.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
Everybody got a fucking podcast.
But, and I did radio and regular radio.
And that was when, well, I wanted to be like Steve and get syndicated in 90 cities, you know.
Terrestrial radio.
But them mothers ain't let me do it either.
So I said, I ain't come to New York to be number one.
I want to be heard all throughout the country. Right. And there was WBLS, so I said I ain't come to New York to be number one I want to be heard all throughout the country right and there was WBLS so I tried that so I always did radio but I never understood
what it was with the podcast and then when I heard about you I was like god damn it send me to school
and then when I saw you when we was on tour I I was like, Joe, I need to talk to you. Listen, you can do it.
You can do it 100%.
Listen, you're interested in people.
You're interesting.
You're great at talking to people.
That's all the elements.
And then all you have to do is just get used to it.
Just get used to doing it.
It'll be, oh, your podcast will be gigantic.
Well, God damn it, I'm going to have to do that too.
Do it.
Yeah, man.
I'll help you.
I'll promote it.
God damn it.
There it is.
I'll promote it.
Keep that on tape.
Cut that.
Send it to the real Earthquake.
I will 100% promote it.
IG on here.
Get it done.
Would have happened, though.
But yeah, I did want it to be on tape.
Whatever you do, I'm in the Earthquake business.
I'll be happy to promote whatever you do.
Just let me know.
Well, thank you, man.
And you have supported me because I asked you, I say, man, doing this special with Dave before we did it.
Whenever I get to do it, it's like no problem. Come on down. And here we are.
Yeah. Well, you're a man of your word. I am. I am. But I've been singing your praises for a long fucking time, as as do everybody else.
All the comics and you're You are a comics comic.
And so for me, as a fan of the art form,
I'm very excited to watch you pop.
I love it.
Thank you, man.
I love the fact that you got this Netflix special coming out.
Thank you, man.
So today, it's going to be February 28th, it turns out.
So February 28th, Netflix, you know what to do, people.
Please. Please. Please, and follow me Netflix, you know what to do, people. Please.
Please.
Please.
And follow me at The Real Earthquake.
Please.
It's at The Real Earthquake.
And thank you, my brother.
My pleasure.
My pleasure.
Pleasure's all mine now.
Anytime.
All right.
Bye, everybody.
See you.