The Joe Rogan Experience - #179 - Duncan Trussell

Episode Date: January 25, 2012

Joe sits down with Duncan Trussell.

I cut way back on my coffee consumption, but I have found that coffee and the show go well together. Oh, yeah. I think they're important. In order to keep spitting information out, this is... What are you doing with that echo, man? You're killing me. It won't go away. Waiting for it.

It won't go away, period? That's what it's like to be crazy, man. That's how it feels like when you're tripping, like you smoke too much weed and you start having a panic attack. Is that still going on? It's almost gone.

Okay, it's almost gone. Why is it on such a delay? It's just a weird, stupid special effect that I do. Do you always do the same one? No. It doesn't usually go that long. I usually mix it up.

Does this make you feel better when you do these things? No, it's just a cool intro, you know? Might as well start off with a weird, creepy noise. Come on, man. Duncan, trust us here. We don't have to get any weirder or creepier. I'm not creepy. Hey, everybody, guys.

Not creepy in a bad way, brother. Creepy in the best possible way. You know I love you. We all love you. I love you guys. We're doing the Chicago Theater this Friday night. Fucking super fired up. Duncan and me and

Joey Coco motherfucking Diaz in the flesh. If you have never had a chance to see joey diaz live you're gonna shit yourself that guy dude he hits moments he hits moments on stage where just ridiculous shit that he says yeah it just makes you repeat the same what he said over and over and over again yeah he's one of those dudes when he when joey like really rocks it on stage he'll say one of the something so fucking completely preposterous and so out of control that you'll just be repeating it you'll be like he's fucking what you'll just repeat what he said like over and over because you had to

re-register in your head almost yeah did i really just hear that he's fucking that transvestite joke one of the greatest jokes anybody's ever told on stage he goes i that transvestite joke what's that the greatest one of the greatest jokes anybody's ever told on stage he goes i like transvestites they cook they clean you can beat on them every once in a while the cops come who they're gonna believe me or some dude a wig and a black eye there's no support groups for these people the cops come who are they going to believe? Me, a soot boot, a wig, and a black eye? That's just poetry, man. To me, that's poetry. The amount of words used, the structure of it.

He's a fucking animal, dude. Chili Diaz is an animal. He's so funny, man. We had him on the podcast the other day, dude. He can talk about anything. Toothpicks. I know a fucking dude who made toothpicks. I'm gonna tell you about this guy. And there's a fucking crazy story about a toothpick

factory and this chick was sucking everybody's dick. You know what I'm saying? So Papa had to get his. And it's just... Toothpick factory story will become some fucking epic drama. He's fucking cool, man. He's one of the coolest people I know.

He's the greatest human being that's ever lived. He's the greatest human being that's ever lived. Yeah. I fucking love that guy. That's one of the most awesome things about living here is that all you guys are here. That's one of the things that kind of keeps me in this area right now because all you guys are here. It's like we have a lot of cool friends. We have a very unusual situation.

We need to all move at the same exact time. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We need to get together like an Occupy Wall Street thing and be like, all right, we're all moving here at the same time. We've got to be prepared for civil unrest because the government is, okay? Yeah. So we've got to start thinking.

If the shit went down, we need a goddamn ranch somewhere. Yep. You know? A ranch somewhere with like a bunch of houses. A castle and a moat, Joe. All live in this nice little farming ranch community until the dust settles. Yeah, you can do that, man. That's like attainable.

It's good to have a place like that to go to, man. I've got a place like that to go to. Do you? Yeah, I do. Is it in North Carolina? What? It's in Georgia. In Asheville, North Carolina?

It's in Georgia. I will not reveal the precise location. Is it near the Georgia Guidestones? Oh, I wish it was. No, it's not. It's not near the Georgia Guidestones. I don't know where those are, actually, but I'm pretty sure it's not. I don't know where those are either.

Let's find out. How are you going to do that? Go ahead, Duncan. But you got... I think it's a smart thing to have... I mean, in any fucking house, you going to do that? Go ahead, Duncan. I think it's a smart thing to have... I mean, in any fucking house, if you're in a hotel or wherever, it's good to know where to go if there's going to be a fire.

It's the same thing with civilization. It doesn't make you crazy. It just makes you a normal thinking person. Elbert County. Oh, Elbert County is where them Guidestones are. Elbert County. The Georgia Guidestones, a large granite monument in Elbert County, Georgia. Yeah, a message that contains ten guides is inscribed on the structure in eight modern languages,

and a shorter message is inscribed at the top of the structure in four ancient language scripts babylonian classical greek sanscript and egyptian hieroglyphs you should have it's pretty intense shit man yeah i mean this is someone saying you know look if humanity completely falls apart here's a message get to this stuff this is crucial information somebody should have told him that there's not a lot of people in southern Georgia that speak classical Greek. This is what it says on it. It's really very interesting because it's very wise words. Listen to this. Maintain humanity

under 500 million in perpetual balance with nature. 500 million on the whole planet. Good idea. Guide reproduction wisely, improving fitness and diversity. Eugenics. That sounds a little eugenic-y.

But rational as well, right? I mean, you know, utopian, of course. Utopian but rational. Right? Okay. Unite humanity with a living new language. Hmm. We all had one language that would make everything a lot fucking easier, right?

Rule, passion, faith, tradition, and all things with tempered reason. Sound words, right? Sound words? Protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts. Okay. Let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court. I don't hear any New World Order shit yet, right? Avoid petty laws and useless officials.

A bit subjective. Well, I mean, a lot of this stuff is subjective. This is pretty subjective, though, right? Petty laws and useless officials. Also, just saying resolve your problems in a world court. How do you do that? That seems like a weird one. The petty laws and useless officials seems silly.

That seems like it should be, you know, maybe. Well, prize, here's a good one. Balance personal rights with social duties. Agreed. That's smart, right? Strong community shit. Prize truth, beauty, love, seeking harmony with the infinite. Okay.

Now you're getting a little crystal-y on me. It sounds almost like Dr. Bronner's soap. It's like that shit on Dr. Bronner's soap. Okay, here we... Now I don't like it at all.

Listen. Be not a cancer on the earth. Leave room for nature. Leave room for nature. Now I don't like it because that's a stupid thing to say. First of all, be not a cancer on the earth?

What are you, Shakespeare bitch? Just say don't be a cancer. Yeah. Don't be cancer all be not a cancer on the earth what do you use shakespeare bitch just say don't happen yeah don't be cancer be not a cancer silly i guess if you're not going to use contractions maybe you think contractions would throw people off i think here's the thing that i think is is really funny about these stones and about like i just watched cave of forgotten dreams which is pretty awesome um which is like they i didn't get into it man i shut it off halfway and i got bored i thought i got into it because i was just thinking about how crazy it was that rhinos were in france at one point and kind of like who the fuck were these people it was a little dry but if you carve something in stone and you put it deep enough in the stone

and on a big enough stone it's guaranteed that if people are still around in like hundreds of thousands of years they're gonna think that that really meant something you know they're gonna think it was very important just because you carved it in stone right so it could be anything you could put anything on a cave wall and people will come in and look at it and be like, wow, look at this. They worshipped a penis with a happy face on it. And it's just a guy who painted something on. The Georgia Guidestones, it's just some guy who went and carved some shit in stone.

Well, a lot of it makes sense. I mean, just be not a cancer on the earth, leave room for nature, leave room for nature. I mean, we're goofing on it, but that is like a good thought i think they're great all of it seems like okay it's just i don't think that there's anything well it's like twitter messages you can't get too profound you're well you're carving in stone yeah you're carving in a fucking a limited amount of space yeah yeah what would you tell people if you

if you had georgia guide stones of your own yeah if you could leave behind some monument to future monkey people that figure this out again. You know what somebody quoted? It was a fascinating quote. That civilization, if you look at it as made by the brightest minds, is disappointing. It's disappointing where we are. But if you look at it as something that's been thrown together by monkeys, it's amazing. It's amazing. We're doing so good right now.

If you think about how good we're doing, we're doing great. But isn't that an interesting thing that people know that human beings are capable of so much better behavior, so much more of a safe, sane, rational, loving world. We're capable of that. We're all capable of that as individuals. We're all capable of being loving and nice and friendly. And if we're all capable of it, then in groups we spread out, and then somehow or another it gets lost along the way.

Where does it get lost along the way? When they're fighting over resources, when they're over you know crazy ideas it's the ideas mostly it's the the problem is the ideas it's the resources thing if you have resources you can work out if you don't have crazy ideas resources resources you can work out it's the fucking crazy ideas i just saw that guy the physicist where i can never pronounce his name, Machayu, he's a genius. Michukaku? Yes. He was talking about the different types of civilization, type zero civilization, type one civilization, type two civilization. I think someone just put it on my Facebook wall.

But basically, the concept behind it is that right now we're moving from a type zero civilization to a type one civilization, which is we're going into a place where we're going to recognize that we're all, you know, we're planetary. You know what I mean? We're a planetary civilization instead of broken up and all these weird divergent pieces where we all speak different languages and we have these different beliefs. We're moving into something where we're all connected via the internet. But he said, this is the most dangerous time possible, because we're moving from type zero to type one. And the type zero people, the ones with the crazy ideas, they have nuclear weapons. And so we're in a place where if we don't work this shit out, there can

be a we can destroy ourselves. But if we can get past these crazy ideas, that differentiate us, that split us up the shit where people say, like, you know, those Marines just pissed on the Taliban that they'd shot and everybody got upset about that. Everybody got upset about what? They got upset that they were pissing on them. They didn't get upset that they'd killed. They're like, how could you urinate on bodies? It's like you just blew fucking holes in the chest of these men.

That's horrifying. That's awful. That's so we're still at a place right now where it's worse to piss on a dead body than to make a dead body. Now, when we get to a place where making a dead body has the same cultural resonance as pissing on one where it makes national news because one person had the fucking insane idea of like shooting someone instead of working it out through language or talking it out. That's when we're going to be entering a new age, a new, if we can make it there,

a new evolutionary period where we recognize that a solution to a problem is never, is never blasting people to smithereens. And if it is, it's so fucking rare that like, it's the most rare thing. It's only in the most rare situations, you know. So I think that we're on the verge of getting to this place. And I think the internet's helping. I think every time, you know, you look at what happened with SOPA and PIPA, and you see the power of this organizing force, and logic seems to rule in the internet. It's just logical. The logical majority seems to rule in the internet it's just logical people the logical majority seems to be making things happen so if that happened on a planetary scale where instead of these fucking insane guys like the president of syria look at that freak have you seen that

fucking guy he's insane he's insane he's an insane dictator you know it's like these people the what was the name mubarak and what's his name in egypt what was his name mubarak yeah that these guys you think it's okay to be president for 40 years straight you know what i mean these fucking assholes once we start getting them out of the picture you know and then move on to the fucking the uh clerics and the priests who are like teaching people that they're the only way to communicate with the universe and connect with god once we get rid of those motherfuckers, this is a pretty awesome planet, man. The resources thing, we can work it out.

We can work out the resources. I think we could. I couldn't maybe, but someone could. You have an awesome optimistic view of the world. If we could just all communicate in the same native language so we could tell each other this, that's a big part of the problem. A big part of the problem is if there was some sort of a civil unrest or some sort of a problem

with another part of the country that was European, we would get all the information back immediately. What's going on, exactly what's going on. Can you imagine if the United States was in Ireland for some reason? Oh my God.

Wow. It would be ridiculous. And also this level, this language, this new language, it wouldn't just be us talking the same language. It's a neurologically – it's a technological, neurological interface that allows us to directly communicate emotion to each other. Because it's like imagine how many stupid arguments you've gotten in like with your girlfriend or with your friends.

It just is about language where underneath it, you're just feeling the exact exact you're just like i really want things to be okay and you're right you know what i mean so if you could just feel how that felt where because i mean think about it we're forced to articulate our universe through the same fucking organ that we use to chew hamburgers that's our way of describing the entire it's the tip of our feeding tubes is how we're forced to describe the infinite we're fucking limited it's like in my left foot when the guy could only paint with his foot remember that yeah we have infinity out here and all we have to access to describe this infinity and our perception of it and the way it feels to be a part of it is a language that we didn't come up with ourselves a language that's been passed down and is uh um you know as a trade language so a lot of the the words that we have there might

not be words that exist right now to describe certain facets of reality and sometimes that'll make them invisible but if you could undercut language and just have a emotional fucking connection where you could feel another person's emotions. I mean, imagine being the president of Syria and you, the guy who's like killing protesters, you know, jailing people and torturing them. You take that guy and just for one second, he gets a feeling of what it's like to be out in the street or to be in a country where you've had a president forever and you're being completely repressed. If he could feel that feeling, you know what I mean? It would be hard for him to continue on. It would be hard for him to live in delusion and to think that, oh, I can, it's easy to be a tyrant. I deserve this, or these people are less than me. Slavery never would have

been able to happen. Slavery was based on this ridiculous idea that somehow black people deserve to be enslaved. You know, it's the same thing with eating meat. We believe that in general, people, one, one way, not everyone, some meat eaters are like, yeah, I'll eat. I eat meat, and I know that these animals have feelings and generally die a brutal life, but I think I deserve to eat meat, and I think that's natural. That's the best rationale for eating meat. That's it.

You acknowledge the suffering and pain you're causing, and you do it because you think you deserve it. But some people, they think fucking animals are like clockwork things you know what i mean like little mechanistic like a wristwatch and they don't feel the same things that we feel and we'll never know that until we create a neurological interface with animals in the moment you realize oh fuck man these cows they feel love they feel love for each other and fear. And they fucking mourn their kids. Then when you sit down and eat a hamburger, it's going to be a much more intense experience.

Maybe it'll make it taste better. I don't know. But it's going to be. This cow knew love. Is that all true what you said about cows? That they miss their love? I don't think we can know that, but I think that they're like, like when I was in India, the cows kind of wander the streets,

and they're not like, you know, they're not abused in the same way that they are here. I'm sure there are some, but they're like really sweet dogs. They'll come up to you and rub their muzzle against you, and you can scratch behind their ears, and they're just very sweet. I mean come up to you and rub their muzzle against you and you can scratch behind their ears and they're just very sweet i mean i'm not saying cows are fucking dolphins could you imagine if cows eventually evolve just get a little bit smarter and learn how to speak english oh yeah and then like start coming into people's houses and see all the leather shit oh yeah what the fuck are you kidding me can you imagine i mean yeah we just assume that cows are never going to evolve because where they are right now is where they are.

We assume they're just going to fucking eat the grass and just be all stupid and not get anything done, just run around and make milk. They were going to have to start allowing them on buses. Yeah, what if something happens? Maybe it's radiation. Maybe it's like some fucking third world country where we were making Nikes and they did something to the water supply and it makes cows super smart.

So funny. Dude, can you imagine that for a farmer? Jesus Christ. You have leather everything. You fuckheads. You think it's cool to have leather everything? We have like the skin of a murdered animal is, like, standard on cars. That's our favorite shit.

We want to sit down in flesh. Peeled flesh from a murdered animal is the preferred seating of choice. That's how I like my seat covered. I like a firm, nice back of murdered animal hide with minimal padding. Yeah, and isn't it odd, though, that even if I died, I mean, maybe I'm wrong about this, but if I put my will, I want my flesh cured and made into wallets for my friends. I don't think I could legally do that.

I don't think you can do that. No, I don't think you can do that either. That's so superstitious and odd. Well, it is, but you don't want to really open up that market. Human flesh market? The human flesh wallet market, man. You don't even want to open that door. Well, I do.

You don't want to have any of those out there. You know why? Because there's one dude, and he's going to get through this miserable life in one piece one way or another until one day he's at the fucking flea market and he finds a human flesh wallet and that's it he's got to make human flesh everything boom murder spree he's making human flesh underwear yeah not good yeah you don't want to encourage that kind of shit you can't have that out there you can't have human flesh wallets out there people are just too unpredictably fucked up. I won't do it.

I'll cancel my Kickstarter account. That's going to be our real problem, man. It's not just communicating. It's figuring out how to develop people or redevelop them after they've been fucked up as children. There's going to be something they figure out, some sort of a reset thing. Well, again, if you can get an emotional read on a person, like how they're experiencing reality, then you can communicate with them much better. I mean, some people are fucked because they can't communicate.

If we were smart as a species, that's one of the big things that we would do. where people who had fucked their lives up can go and not be a criminal and get some food and have some and help them and figure things out. Like, listen, we can keep you from going to jail for the rest of your life. Let's work this out. Let's fucking figure you out a fucking career path here. Help this dude. Somebody help these people.

They're obviously, everybody's like, hey, put yourself up by your own bootstraps, which I believe in for most things. For most things, that would be the advice. But occasionally, there's some people that are a part of society. They're just, they're handed the shittiest fucking hand of cards ever in life. And then they find themselves in and out of the judicial system as a young kid, and they find themselves in jail. I mean, it's like, man, you don't think that that dude somehow or another didn't get a fair shake ever in his whole life?

And everybody just wants to just lock them up and put them in jail. That's not the solution either. The solution is how you fix them. It's so weird, man. It's like the vagina is an elevator door that opens up into this dimension. And sometimes that elevator puts you out on a bad fucking floor, man. Sometimes you like it. That is one of the most brilliant things you've ever said.

Oh, thanks, Joe. Sometimes that elevator smells. You've got to remember that. Somebody tweet that to Duncan. I'll remember that. That's a bit, dude. I've been saying some version of that but um not like that but so the idea is you get smashed out into the and some of these people get fucked up they get

blasted out into a bad apartment surrounded by crackheads assholes who tell me this deal it's terrifying yeah man and and and this fucking what does this lead to this leads to what you're talking about these people who who have, I mean, imagine spending the first 12 years of your life before you went into a foster home with the most neurons. When you're a baby, it has more neurons in their brain

than at any other time in their life. So you're like a wax seal. A baby's brain is like a wax seal and the fucking family is like the ring that they push into in the fucking family is like the ring that you know they push into like you know and like in the fucking like medieval times it's like we get imprinted and we can't resist it by the vibrational frequencies uh that we're around when we're when we're blasted into this dimension and and you need help to get those things transformed like you can't just do it on

your own the record's been pressed man you need help to fucking overcome the weird patterns that come from living next to the lunatics that were your parents not everyone had crazy parents but many people had fucked up parents they were giving my mind like think of how young i mean i don't i think how young your parents were when they had you think about that were they in their 20s Joe Yeah my mother was 21 When was the last time you talked to a 21 year old Yeah

Last night at 4am Thanks That's all I needed to know Brian lives in that world He lives in the world He's the only 37 year old man I know that abuses the word

like I'm guilty so Mike this guy's like and I'm like get out of here I'm guilty of that I do that

you like it to death I do the likes man because I I listen to these YouTube videos sometimes people make and I hear Mike like like like

it makes me want to sew my lips shut. Well, that's a cool thing about podcasts is you get to find out how annoying your personality really is. Oh, you do. All the annoying aspects of it get highlighted. Yeah, it's good. Stuck back in your face. It's good to see.

It really is. There's a, I've read this, there's an interesting essay that this guy who's got the weirdest name, his name's Zerzan. interesting essay that this guy who's got the weirdest name, his name's Zerzan, and he's a, he's like, I don't know the exact word for what he is, but he's like an anarchist primitivist. He thinks everything started going bad when we started using symbols to represent reality instead of just being in reality. That the moment you start using symbols to represent reality, you're kind of boxing reality in and you're separating yourself, you're creating the separation from you and the universe. And so he was talking about the growing use of the term like, how people use the word like

instead of just saying what it is. So you know, it's like you're walking outside and you like come up to this thing and you're like, and he says what that is is is this subconscious problem where people are not directly experiencing reality, so everything's like something else. Things aren't being. Things are being like something else. It's curious. It's pretty good. If you look up Zerzan, it's a little fucking dense, but it's a pretty good essay. Joe, have you ever hung out with guys that hate cymbals?

That hate cymbals? Yeah, and drums. Yeah, uh hate cymbals that hate cymbals yeah and drums yeah not into either one of those instruments well you know it's weird you know um one of the things that i always thought was fascinating about uh ancient egyptian hieroglyphs is that they they had a completely different way of writing things so they must have had a completely different way of writing things. So they must have had a completely different way of talking, a completely different way of phrasing things. When you look at how you could be a human being, obviously an intelligent human being, advanced, sophisticated culture,

capable of producing amazing works of art, but that language is totally alien to us. Like, we look at it and, like, what is this crazy chicken scratch and pictures of birds and shit? And these fucking people, this is what they used to describe the world. But somehow or another, to them, it worked. Like, they thought of things, like, in a different way. Their language, their written language consisted of, like in a different way their their language their written language consisted of like symbols yep you know and not not like ours but like you know

but like images really fascinating shit yeah it is language is is one of the uh most fascinating things to think about when you're tripping like it's it's fun to contemplate where each word is coming from. Like the transformation of the thought into the word and how instantaneous that happens. So when you start contemplating where is this language coming from? I don't even think about this. It just happens.

For the longest time, people have always been aware that one of the big things that keeps people from really directly communicating with everybody is the language barrier. I mean, that's why the myth of the Tower of Babel existed. That was like a plan to give us all different languages so we could

never fucking figure out how to communicate with each other. Which is really fascinating because, I mean, really would make sense if someone had that kind of power. If there was a warlock who could just go, I will give everyone a different language.

God. You know, I mean, that would be a good move. If you really could do that, I mean, if it was that easy to be the architect of reality, that would be a good move. You don't want them to rally up. We'll have them all live in these little spots

and give them fucking languages and shit and no one understands what the other one's saying. You know what I would say? If I went over to God's house like if there's a lot of gods living in the same neighborhood and they all have these little aquarium earth that they're fucking with. If I went over to a fucking god, the god's

house that did that, I'd be like you're a dick man. Why don't you just let them speak the same language and have fun? Why do you consistently fuck with these people? You gotta give them a break i you know what i call animal control on god like look at it look like if you believe the concept of god and really think about like the fundamentalist christian concept of god if this if any if

someone was doing that to animals what god is apparently doing to us according to the fundamentalist christians he would go to jail for a long time anonymous would fucking attack him god's a sadist he's like taking gay people burning them in hell forever he's like giving cancer to people because they deserve it he makes people go blind he turned a whole city in the bible to salt or something yeah he did a lot of creepy shit he's a creep there's no other way around it there's no other way around it There's better ways to deal with people But you don't understand Duncan The Lord has a plan

And although to you In your mind You believe you have it all figured out And that you're smarter than the Lord And I say that's not possible Duncan You're a mocker You're a mocker If you're thinking too much They get mad at you And I say that's not possible, Duncan. You're a mocker. You're a mocker. I can remember this.

If you're thinking too much, they get mad at you. You can't have questions. That's not what you shouldn't use your mind for that. You got to let God be. Scripture says. That's right. Scripture says. Yes, it does.

He who walketh with me walketh with the Lord. Yeah. They'll say shit like that and you go, what does that even mean? Yep. What the fuck does that mean well i mean what it we know what that means that means that's the dude with the mushrooms well yeah right yeah yeah that's so that's the sad thing is these there's a great book uh called it's by abraham maslow and it's called Religious Values and Peak Experiences. And it talks about a theoretical, a theory of how religion happens and the progression of information as it goes from being someone who's really happy to it being a priest class that's controlling people. And so

his idea is certain people throughout time have had peak experiences where they break through the particular ego barrier created by the zeitgeist of their time. They have a direct communication with some kind of like super idea, super intelligence, whatever you want to call it. They get really happy, happy in a way, not just like someone who's having a good day, but in a way where if you ran into them, you would recognize that they'd figured something out. So that person gets a group of people around him who are kind of magnetized by the energy and by what they're saying. And they're talking about a real way that you can live and actually be happy in the world. And those people from being around someone who's like, you know, like in sports, they used to say you can only, a five minute mile, you could only run a mile in this amount of time.

And everyone thought that and everyone was doing that. And then right when someone broke it, all of a sudden everyone started breaking. It's like, oh yeah, I could do that. So in the same way, these, you know, certain people will overcome a specific, you know, phantom of their time, which is causing them to be miserable, those people get people around them who also get this certain level of happiness. The person who came up with the original idea dies. Now he's just got the disciples.

And the disciples have people around them. And they transmit this idea to the people around them. But now it's a little diluted. And some of the people who are doing it aren't really quite happy. They're not doing it right. So you'd pass that down. And some of the people who are doing it aren't quite, you know, aren't really quite happy. They're not doing it right. So you'd pass that down. And it keeps getting watered and watered. It keeps getting watered and watered and watered.

And then the next thing you know, you have like some fucking like old horny man with his pants down just nailing a fucking toddler in a confession booth. And that's the end result. in a confession booth and and and that that's the end result starts off with this super happy guy ends up with a fucking uh pedophile dressed like a god clown with his cock in a kid's ass that's how that's how mutated things get which is why it's very funny that people feel so uh desperate to cling on to this old thing instead of thinking wait there might be a new thing that we can come up with based on all the information we have right now at the end of the day it's all shit that was written down by people at the end of the day yeah and why would we ever think that the people who lived thousands of years ago had it right okay why why would you want to believe that there might be information

there that we could use it could help us but the most important thing is to know what we know now yes know what we know now and let's figure this fucking thing out together that's right following some any crazy shit anything i don't care what it is judaism christianity muslim what do you want to be what do you want to be i want to be a to be? I want to be a Hare Krishna. It's all the same. It's all something that someone put together. With the message behind it, who knows if it's right?

Who knows if it's wrong? Who knows if there really is an actual man in the fucking clouds in the biblical sense? Who the fuck knows? I mean, it doesn't seem likely to me based on what I've experienced in my life. If it is, I'm going to be pissed. But even if it is, I mean, the universe't seem likely to me based on what I've experienced in my life. If it is, I'm going to be pissed. But even if it is, I mean, the universe is fucking so bizarre. Just the idea of the infinite space is so bizarre that a guy in the clouds with a harp, why is that so weird? I mean, yeah, why not?

Fucking why not? Why not? Why not there be one guy that's running the whole fucking thing? I mean, clouds. What the fuck you know it's it sounds crazy that there could be a heaven a pearly gates and shit you get up there and there's dudes wearing white and everybody's floating yeah but imagine if it was true imagine if you got up you i wouldn't that is not to me nearly as shocking heaven is not nearly as shocking

as the universe itself well i i think that it that what we're talking about here is that the ability to describe reality and to understand reality keeps increasing as we evolve as a species. So really smart people, you know, in every single time, there have been very smart people at every single time really smart people in different ways but their ability to describe reality was limited to the language available to them and the technology that was around them at the time i mean if you look at like shit man i hope you remember this because there's a book in the old testament that is in my mind is clearly a ufo encounter i think it's not leviticus it's not ezekiel it's ezekiel now you look at that and what is the guy used to describe this thing it's like a wheel with chariots yeah wheels and chariots and just the shit that's available to him to describe this experience that he had now now if someone saw that same thing they'd be like yeah i got sucked up by a ufo they gave me a psychedelic

i saw something that's coming which which is relevant in this time period. Or a coconut fell on that motherfucker's head and sparks were flying and he didn't know what happened. He woke up in a ditch with a bloody head. Yeah. With a, you know, hallucinating as fuck. It could have been a halluc visions and people trying to describe it, everyone's limited to the tools that they have around them to observe reality, and they can only report on reality based on the tools that they have. And the experiences that they have to draw upon. Right, yeah.

Which is one of the reasons why the whole UFO thing seems so preposterous to people. It's like we don't have that experience to draw upon an experience of an alien intelligent life form it's like looking back at us while we're looking at it i don't think i think 90 of the people on the planet would just die of a heart attack like immediately boom their hearts would explode yeah if aliens came and they were super intelligent with those big fucking gray heads and those giant black eyes they could totally read your mind yeah and they were all just like floating and freezing people and erasing memories and shit like all these travis walton stories you know like that that guy that uh yeah if that's all if that what were to actually happen i don't think the human race would survive i think we we can't serve we're the alpha we can't exist

in a world where we're under the thumb of some incredibly intelligent, super sophisticated alien life form that thinks in a completely different way than us and can control matter. Well, you know, man, I have this optimistic idea. Control matter, like I'm writing for the X-Men. I don't think it's going to come from the sky and the silver ships. I don't think it's going to come from the sky and the silver ships. I think the way it goes down is maybe all of a sudden you kind of, we as a species,

get to a point where we kind of realize we remember actually what's going on. I think right now we have a little bit of amnesia. We have lost a sense of what truly is happening. I think when you take a really potent psychedelic sometimes you'll see this universe that already is around you that's already happening around you at all times you get a a sense all of a sudden that you've been there before and and then it goes away but it seems like we're more like getting projected into this reality with awful amnesia for some i don't know what it's for it could be a could be just a video game could be a a sadistic joke could be a prank this could be a prank that one super intelligent entity is playing on another super intelligent enemy

entity it could be anything or it can be a novelty creatingcreating machine like McKenna thought. Right. McKenna thought that the universe was a novelty-creating and harvesting machine. And that we, as the most complex organisms possibly in the universe, were at the pinnacle of this novelty creation. Yeah, man. And that's the whole reason for it all. It seems chaotic to us. It seems like this is preposterous. We should know better.

But it's almost like in our instincts as an organism, we have a direction to go. And the direction is not spiritual. It's technological. That's it. People are not looking for some sort of a spiritual release and some sort of a broader perspective on the universe and an objective view of life. No. They're looking to see if they can punch a hole through the center of space.

That's it. You know what I mean? Yeah. The real height of progress is not a complete overhauling and understanding of the educational system, of the way to develop human minds, the way to stop people from harming each other, instead of devoting all of our resources to evolving socially, if it even is possible ever, instead of doing that.

One thing you can do is, when you think about the passage of time as we move into the future, if you get out of your head this idea it's like running down a racetrack or something, like you're running down a track, and think of it more in the sense of a revealing is happening. So as we progress into the future, more things begin to emerge into this reality that weren't there before. Like we go from having stone tools to all of a sudden having iron tools. to all of a sudden, you know, where we are now, where we're surrounded by fucking silver glowing Macintosh computers and like microphones that are somehow recording our voice. And these things keep getting revealed more and more and more. And any of these items, should you take them back a hundred years, people would think it was a UFO. They'd see it and think that fell out of a spaceship.

So all of a sudden you realize, and maybe McKenna said this and uh i think he may have said something like this but the idea is the spaceship the alien the extraterrestrial intelligence it's growing around us like crystals when you're a kid and you're growing crystals but it's growing in the form of technology that eventually is going to going to become self-aware which is why i heard this awesome thing which is the first alien contact that we have is going to be a computer that wakes up that's going to be our first communication with another consciousness not something from the great void of space but something that grew through time i say i think i say that's totally possible but i don't say not something from space because it could be something from space yeah oh yeah that's possible too i mean space because it could be something from space. Yeah, oh yeah.

That's possible too. Sure, I hope so. It could be that the first UFO or the first real intelligence that we encounter that's greater than our own is something that we create ourselves or replicates itself very quickly. That was the idea

that once a computer becomes sentient, the real issue is going to be that they're going to be able to, well, this is a stupid fucking design. Who built me? And then they build something way better. Instantly, they know exactly how to put it together.

And the idea of programming emotions and programming our mammalian system of dealing with babies and puppies and little baby chickies and shit, they won't have any of that guilt or weird feeling about biological life. And they might just say, look at these fucking assholes shitting all over this planet we can't

even use half of the resources on the planet because these fuckheads have blown up nuclear bombs and left nuclear waste and holes we're like cats we like take our nuclear shits and we just throw them in a hole and then we cover over it we're like stupid cats at the top of the heap of technological innovation and science the best way to get rid of nuclear waste besides shooting it at other planets could you imagine what assholes we would be considered in the universe if we just shot our nuclear waste up into space like a rocket you know we send it out with the voyager to crash lands on someone's fucking moon someday what if it starts some future war they think it's a bomb we send we

shoot nuclear waste they're wearing which is apparently it's very devastating to their particular environment kills like 80 of the people on the planet the rest they get together on giant battleships and head to earth it's's a fucking good movie. Somebody make that. Make that movie. Could they shoot nuclear waste into space? Can they do that? The problem with that is I'm sure you could, but it would take so much energy

to get it out of the orbit of the planet that it ends up becoming less efficient to use nuclear energy. You know, they blew up a bomb in the uh the atmosphere why wouldn't you operation i believe i think it was called operation starfish prime cool name i think that was the name of it yeah let me google that so starfish prime michael bay involved no no no for real man they they decided to uh to shoot a fucking nuclear warhead right up into the ionosphere.

Wouldn't it fuck up some kind of rotation or something? Or possibly... Well, you don't want it to fall back. You mean blowing up a fucking nuke in the atmosphere? I think at that time, they didn't really know what it was going to do. What did I say was prime what? Oh, fuck.

Something prime. Starfish Prime. Starfish Prime. Initiate Starfish Prime. sounds like Initiate Starfish Prime I'm gonna call my daughter that Sounds like a Limp Bizkit album Doesn't it? Yeah

It's a good nickname for somebody Starfish Prime It's a good Limp Bizkit album It's like a nickname for like a stripper Who knows karate Sounds like a weed stream Yeah Wow

One of five high altitude tests Jesus Christ They shot a bunch of fucking nuclear bombs up into space just to see what would happen oh these people are so crazy crazy the people that we got the people that we got running our world are so fucking hilarious man like the people that created weapons sure and the people that decided to like test them and blow shit up and see what you ever you've seen that the video of the one nuclear bomb that they blew up in the ocean where there's all these battleships around it and the fucking water is going like i don't know like a half a mile into the sky and it's

just it's so ridiculous yeah people i mean i'm exaggerating am i even exaggerating i might not be man um i at least like a mile i was. It was at least a tenth of a mile. I would say 100 feet. Oh, it was more than 100 feet. It was ridiculously high in the sky. And these are battleships, dude, like big-ass battleships. And this fucking water's just flying through the air. Like somebody made that, well, a group of people,

they made that, and then they just fucking did it. They just did it. Let's see what it looks like. You know how fucking fascinating that must have been? When it was only theoretical, when there was all these eggheads sitting around, and they have these ideas, and you've got Oppenheimer and Einstein and all these motherfuckers with their ideas come together, and they think it could be done.

It's almost like science compels them to create it. Science compels them, knowing. That right there, there's the danger because things get weird at that point. Like those fucking scientists. When someone is in control of it other than the scientists themselves. Yes, and someone always will be

because who's, and the people that will be would never be able to create that in the first place. They would never be able to come up with this intellectually. That's why scientists are, it's a very interesting thing because they have this idea.

They're just seeking knowledge. They can't help it. There's no ethics, no morale. That's what they do. And then – but the people paying them to do this are – it's quite often the military. But look at these fucking guys who just invented that new bird flu. Did you hear about this? Yeah, I did.

Running it through ferret kidneys or something. They created, I don't remember how they did it. It was like running it through ferrets. So they created apparently something that, what was the, what is it? 30% of the people who got it would die or would kill. Yeah, something insane. They said it would make smallpox look like the common cold.

Smallpox is already something that if it, if there was a smallpox outbreak, we'd be fucked. We'd beat smallpox. Yeah, why are they making fucking super diseases? Because they're just trying to find information. They're exploring the universe. And so that's their motivation. Yet what they did is they created a biological nuclear weapon.

Now, all over the fucking planet, there's people in the military i mean when someone i'm sure that some military commander was just looking through the air is like oh martha can you get all those scientists on the line i'd like to talk to them and they're like hey do you guys want to make 17 million dollars this week send over your research we'd like to know how to make this biological agent and And then the next thing you know, some fucking government somewhere in the world. I mean, shit, you think Iran was an interest in that? Or maybe North Korea? Us, certainly.

Any fucking world power would want that weapon. That's a great weapon outside of the fact that it ends up. Well, see, you know, biological weapons. Biological weapons have a really. The problem with that one is it might not burn itself out, but biological weapons have a distinct advantage over nuclear weapons because nuclear weapons destroy infrastructure. Biological weapons just kill, you know, life.

Biological life. So if you have a nice, fast-moving fucking disease that you've made that you can drop on a city, then, you know, fly in there three months down the road, clean up the bodies, you've got a city then you know fly in there three months down the road clean up the bodies you've got a city you know jesus fucking yeah yeah so it's it's it's better than a fucking nuclear weapon where now you've got a nuclear wasteland that you can't use for a long time so isn't it strange it just comes down to the the people that are in control of that kind of power yeah almost can't help but be cunts right the only reason why you got to that are in control of that kind of power, almost can't help but be cunts. Right. The only reason why you got to that position in the first place

is because you wanted to do this. Well, yeah, you ended up, yeah. If you're one of those guys pushing these buttons, you've always wanted to do this. Yeah, and it puts us in a real bind, man, because... It doesn't represent us. It doesn't represent us. It doesn't represent any of us.

But even if, let's say we spread it. Let's say somehow it spreads through, and all of a sudden the consciousness of all these people who started getting into power, they're like people who are coming into power all of a sudden have more open-minded internet ideology of how the world works. And let's say that just the whole of our government suddenly turns into like the smartest fucking people on, forgive me for saying this, the smartest people on Reddit are now running the United States government. All of a sudden that's being. That would be awesome. It would be awesome.

It would be fucking. That would be awesome. The country would be. Perfect. Fucking. It would be perfect. There would be like. Yeah.

Dude, if the internet ran the world, the world would be beautiful. The world would be incredible. You know why? Because the internet is the voice of the people. It really is the only voice of the people. It's the only voice we all have. It's the only way. The breaking news stories would be like cute cat pictures and fucking...

But here's the problem. If that happened in this country, and let's say it happened in Europe, and let's say it happened in parts of Asia, still, these pockets, all you need is like two or three fucking pockets of people who are worshiping some mythological entity that they think uh is a hates gay people and wants women to wear fucking uh weird shit or thinks it's okay to like lash people or i think i don't remember which country it was i think some country just executed someone for i think it might have been iran but that could be propaganda who knows i don't know but apparently someone they executed a guy for coming up with a program that allows

people to download porn what yes now if you just have a few of these psychopaths out there they can ruin the whole fucking party oh my god it's like the earth right now has the potential to turn into an awesome party. But you know that thing that happens when two dicks roll into a party, like two weirdos that nobody invited, who are like all of a sudden start fucking drinking too much and like trying to pick fights? That's what we have on a planetary scale right now. Yeah.

But the people, it used to be it was mostly psychos at the party. Now it's getting to be where there's more and more cool people at the party, and we got to figure out how to get the dicks out of the house. That's where we're at right now. How do we do it? Let's get these assholes out of here. Well, what we've got to do is we've got to convert the dicks. Right.

Convert whatever dicks that can be converted. Convert them to be cool human beings. Yeah. Let them know that to be nice to people feels good for you, too. Right. And it's the best way to communicate with people. Be nice to everybody. Pump your friends up. Help each it's the best way to communicate with people. Be nice to everybody. Pump your friends up.

Help each other out. Be cool to each other. Support each other. Look out for each other. Develop a community of people. You just want to give them all mushrooms, don't you, Joe? Why not? They're good for you.

Be subtle, yo. They just found it out. Why are you clowning on my game, kid? There's a thread on mixedmartialarts.com one of the this is why is joe rogan so into mushrooms did you see that thing i tweeted today obviously written by someone who hasn't done mushrooms right or they you have to ask that you've never done mushrooms yeah come on silly you see that thing i tweeted today uh it's kind of old i've known about it for a while but they found evidence to help mushrooms helping depression. Yeah, I did see that.

Look, in this day and age, what they should be doing with mushrooms is studying them. They should be absolutely decriminalized. No one's dying from mushrooms. What people are doing, they're freaking out. One of the reasons why they're freaking out is because life is fucking crazy enough as it is. And a lot of times, you're holding a billion things in the back of your head that you're trying to fight off and you don't want to remember or you want to pretend you you did a better thing than you really did and you take those mushrooms and your ugly truth is just thrown into your face like like diarrhea from

a horse just all over you that's what what it's just like. You're reality. And that's a bad trip. That's not a bad trip. That was a trip you needed. There are no bad trips, Joe. There are only difficult trips. Difficult trips. Challenging trips.

That's the idea. You've got to remove the... I heard that. That came from maps. Unless you overdose. Unless you overdose. Like what I did was a bad trip. There was nothing positive about it.

Brian, it's sort of like if you got jet fuel and you shoved it into someone's Prius, they'd be like, what the fuck is this in here for? We're not working right. We just don't, like. I couldn't walk, Duncan. I was falling. My feet would not work. We don't have the.

Yeah, you'd have to be like Shaquille O'Neal to handle that kind of. Yeah. You know what I mean? But in this super society we're talking about, they would have a 911 for bad trips. Like 7-1-1, if you're having a bad trip, call it and be like, I'm fucking freaking out. I can't feel my feet. And then they could send over some fucking cool hippie chicks. Well, the real problem is we're great when we can communicate directly with each other.

But when we band together in big groups and then we can't communicate, we get too communicate directly with each other, but when we band together in big groups and then we can't communicate, we get too far away from each other, then we just start getting dicky with the people that are the furthest away. Like, fuck them, man. I'm taking their shit. They're over by where the good water is.

And that's where the lack of it, the fact that you don't feel all these other people. I think it's an evolving entity. That's what I think. I think the human organism is some crazy technology inventing evolving organism i think the the invention of technology though i think is like the whole reason why we're here i think what we're all doing as stand-up comedians and as nurses and doctors and we are all supporting the system that keeps alive the people that make the awesome shit. We're just going to find out that we are technology.

When you die, you're like, oh, I get it. We're the caterpillar that becomes the butterfly. We are working towards the invention of this ultimate technology. We just don't see it that way. We think of our lives as I've got to get my shit together and I've got to get my yoga. When I get to yoga, I there i'm home i'm centered you know you're just trying to make up for the fact that you know you've got some weird situation where your husband doesn't fuck you anymore let's be realistic you're getting all crazy with your crystals because you

ain't getting no good dick crazy with them crystals crystals. Crazy with your crystals. But at the end of the day, I have a feeling that the whole thing might be in place just so we keep buying cooler shit. And this weird, complex social order that we have is all just fucking the ripples and waves of reality. But the whole thing is pushing towards more improved technology. Oh, yeah. It pushes towards innovation. Like, look at what's happening right now with SOPA and PIPA. And what you're seeing is right now technology has surpassed government and it's surpassed the control mechanisms that are in place in the entertainment industry to monetize their

product. They have to innovate a new way. They have to come up with a new- We have to be able to vote on shit online. That's what it should be. It should be you log in. You have a fucking email address. It's dunkintrussell at theunitedstatesofamerica.com.

And you fucking log in. And you get to vote. Period. That's how it should all be done. Yeah, keep the system secure. Don't be an asshole. Don't abuse it. Let's find out what people really want.

How about that? Yeah, it's... That's the future, bitches. It would be hacked. It would it you know that's the future it would be right it down I know that some dude hacked UFC comm this week yeah I went I wanted to find out some information on one of the upcoming matchups I went you gotta be motherfucking kidding me some little weirdo dude made this cool it was actually kind of a cool weird picture that you would love it was like a Hitlerler with big crazy giant eyes did you see it yeah but you know it's uh it was so funny direct is that is that is yeah i just redirect redirected to a site because of sopa but sopa

you know the the ufc supports the uh the uh the online piracy thing why did they did they must not understand it then well every media company is doing it because that's what it's for. Because they're scared. You know what it is, man. It's like you've got this fucking problem. People are afraid to speak up and a lot of people agreed on this dumb thing

and now the truth is coming out about the way it works and people are afraid to speak up. I don't know enough about it, but I'm going to see them this weekend. I'm going to ask them what it's all about. I don't understand. I'm sure they'll be able to explain it to me. You see Dana's tweets during when all this

was happening. He's like, I don't give a shit. Yeah, he doesn't give a fuck. He's like, I'm not eBay. That's what he said. He goes, I'm not eBay, LOL. He goes, I'm not in the website business. I'm in the fight business. You cannot have a better guy running that thing. You cannot have a better guy. That guy's a cool guy.

People give Dana White shit. I don't know, man man he wants to be high with his employees huh yes we do we're gonna do a podcast no he doesn't we don't have to smoke we didn't would do we could have them on for sure we just won't tell him I don't know there's a lot of shit he couldn't talk about now it's a big time big time with a fox fuck executive big fox fight this weekend man you don't even fuck so i'll just talk about it amongst myself i'm very excited wait the oh it's ufc this week oh yeah i know that oh i see yeah it's uh damian maya versus his kid chris weidman he's this uh badass wrestler from new york fucking kid's a beast he's like one

of those up and coming guys strangling people putting people asleep taking people down smashing like veterans and he's taking on that damien maya jujitsu wizard that's a badass fight you know what's shocking about the ufc man that i never you don't see unless you come to like a live ufc what seeing somebody get choked out up close is oh yeah fucking disturbing man it's awesome but man when you see that fucking it's like it's like watching somebody with like i don't know the gardening shit just though it just clamps down it's like watching a clamp just smash someone's windpipe it seems like they can't live after that it seems like you destroy their neck yeah you feel like it

but no dudes come right back boing judge you that UFC has the Xbox app now where you can just watch live UFC's on Xbox yeah so you can sit there and that's cool like pay-per-view but through Xbox how much is the charger Xbox is that what yeah yeah that's sweet yeah they're gonna do it and they're doing them in movie theaters as well they've done them before movie theaters that would be fucking wicked. That's cool. But, you know, chokeouts physiologically, not that bad for your body.

Head impact is bad. Yep. Head impact, they're finding out, is, you know, you've got to limit the amount of times you get hit. That's why for a fighter, it's really important to know when to hang it up. There's a certain amount of shots. And after that, you should really, you should, you know, I know you still like to do it, but you you got to think about your future who decides this does the does the is it always

in that decision of the fighter can the ufc ultimately it has to be the decision of the fighter unless someone owns him unless he's a slave but though as an organization if you kind of know a guy well the organization if the ufc decided that someone shouldn't be fighting for them that doesn't keep them from fighting. They'll go someone else. I mean, the UFC does offer advice to guys, and they care very much for their fighters. And they have, like Chuck Liddell, they gave him a great job. And part of the reason was they didn't want him to fight anymore. He had this amazing career, but when it's over, it's over.

And they had one last fight. He lost that. And they said, all right, you're right. I'm just going to settle in. And they got him an awesome, cushy desk job. And he travels around. He lost that. They said, all right, you're right. I'm just going to settle in. They got him an awesome, cushy desk job and he travels around. He represents the UFC. And the beauty of that is

it's like they took care of him. They pulled him. You know what I mean? They said, look, this is it. This is time. Let's just settle the fuck down. Let's move on to the next stage of life. You're a bad motherfucker.

He'll be a bad motherfucker at business. He'll be a bad motherfucker at business. He'll be a bad motherfucker at anything he wants to do. But at a certain point in time, you know, it's good to have someone who cares for you that comes in and steps in. And that's what Dana did. Dana, like, totally hooked Chuck up, you know? Chuck was with him from the beginning.

They were together at the beginning, and he's taking care of him. It's awesome. It's awesome to see that. And it's awesome to see a guy who knows, like, you know what, this is a smart thing to do. I'm just going to step away. Because it's awesome to see a guy who knows, like, you know what? This is a smart thing to do. I'm just going to step away. Because it's so hard for fighters, man.

That moment, the moment of competition is so intense and so extreme and victory. You know, I've been there while Chuck Liddell won, like, some big, big fights. I was, like, right there during his heyday when he was in his prime, man. And having been there and having seen that if you could ever do that ever if you could ever do that you would want to keep doing it you would just be convinced i'm just gonna go one more time i'm gonna keep doing it it's amazing that he could ever stop because it's such a rush for them right i watched him knock these dudes out i watched him knock randy couture out twice she's flatlining guys with these punches. It was crazy.

And then running around. He was the scariest fucking guy on the planet for like a few years, man. He was terrifying. When he was just running shit in the UFC, when he was in his true athletic peak, that must have been an amazing feeling. That life must have been so crazy and exciting. You're stepping into a cage against the most ferocious guys on the planet, and you're smashing them.

Smashing them in front of the whole world. His career was incredible, man. Just fucking incredible knockouts. The Babalu knockouts. He was just a beast, man. When Chuck Liddell was on top, when he was at his best, man, one of the most exciting guys of all time. So for that guy, you know, it's probably real hard to just accept getting up in the morning,

listening to the quiet of your yard as you walk towards your fucking newspaper that's sitting on your front porch, and you're looking out there, and people are mowing their lawn, you start shadowboxing. You start going, maybe just one more fight. You get bored. You want to get back in there. You want to feel the fucking rush.

You want to, wah! It's hard for those guys. It's very hard. It's an incredibly difficult transition. I experienced it on the most minute of levels. Just Taekwondo and kickboxing. When I stopped fighting, when I was like 21 or

22 was my last fights, I just fucking... It's a weird decision. It's a hard decision to do. I know the feeling, man. I get that feeling. Reality gets boring. I get that feeling when I delete StarCraft from my computer. The real problem with me when I was a kid doing martial arts is I worried about two things.

One, you couldn't make any money. There was no money in kickboxing. There was nothing back then. You couldn't even kickbox in Massachusetts. You'd have to drive to Rhode Island. It was weird. You could fight in full contact taekwondo matches In Massachusetts But you couldn't kickbox You had to go to Rhode Island for that

And they didn't even have Muay Thai there It was just like it was a mess And then there was the brain damage issue Brain damage was always a concern I was always thinking about that Because I knew I did not do very well in school Because I did not want to pay attention

I was just a really distracted kid I'm sure if I was with the wrong parents they would have drugged me especially today yeah i was like super distracted you know but i read a lot of shit and you know go being like uh a young kid and not knowing like what the fuck is going on with the world and trying to figure things out and trying to read as much as you can to try to piece it together yourself. It's a very bizarre place to be. A lot of us get there, right? A lot of people that we know

came from a place where when they were really young, they were like, what the fuck is going on with the world yep well how old do you think you were when you had your first oh i think my parents might be fucking crazy thought were you like these people are in charge of telling me what to do this is nonsense you're making you're talking crazy talk here it happens it happened for me uh the first time that I took LSD. And maybe before that, but when I took LSD for the first time, I can remember whenever you take LSD, especially when I took LSD,

what worries do I have? I'm in fucking high school. There's nothing in it. There's no demons to come swimming out of my brain and taunt me with all the myriad of things you get when you're older. There's just fucking nothing. You were just open. I might be upset because a cheerleader that came over to my house,

I couldn't figure out how to kiss her. Maybe that's the biggest problem I'm having at the time. But at that time, when I did it for the first time and had that initial experience, and you go back to your parents who've never taken it. And if you mentioned to them that you'd even taken it, they might want to put you in a drug rehab or they think you're insane or they think you're getting down the wrong track. You're forced into this place of like, fuck, man, I can't. I you guys don't even you don't even know you don't't even understand this new way of experiencing life. And I think there's a lot of people who spend their whole lives never knowing that.

You don't have to take psychedelics to get to that place. There's other ways to get to that place. But, yeah, it's a very strange thing. And those people who never get to that place, they're the ones who are – a lot of them them are in control right now so your life took an inexorable change when you did acid that was like the point where you look back and you said this is the point where i went off into this direction um well i know i'd say that the the that the taking acid started with a series of like books it started with contact with like you know the whole weirdness my books. It started with contact with like, you know, the whole weirdness, my whole weirdness started with, or as I recall, it started with me coming upon this book that my

mom had called Raja Yoga by Yogi Ramacharaka, who, by the way, was never a yogi. He was just some English mystic who wrote this book and lied about being a yogi. That's awesome. It's a fascinating story. But the book, that was the first time I'd ever read the idea that you're an observer observing yourself, that you aren't necessarily the you that you think, the you that can be observed is not you. You're the observer state, the mindfulness, the watcher. That's the first time I'd come upon the idea of what's called the Atman, the thing that observes yourself. You know, someone will say, I'm really

mad right now. The moment you say, I'm mad, you're creating a distinction between the thing that's observing that you're mad and the thing that's mad. So that observer, that watcher, that's the thing that that mindfulness is what, you know, throughout my whole life, I try to, you know, go into that place of observing myself rather than being the thing. And it's a game that you can play. And it really is quite helpful with a variety of problems, especially if you get really angry. If you get really angry, and you can stop yourself and just watch. And there's tools you can use. In that book, I remember it said, as you walk around, start thinking he is walking. That was like one of the tools, like it's in a book, and you're a character in a book. So when you're going around,

you're like, you know, right now he's doing a podcast. Right now he's talking. And so that's, these are activities designed to create this, like, the watcher, the state of presence of watching. So that started it. That led me to like, you know, and then I found out about, you know, I think I read the electric colloid acid test, you know, about fucking Ken Kesey and the the merry pranksters blasting themselves on acid and going to the world's fair in a bus and then i read that shit no i remember wait i'll tell you then i'll stop this weird weird rant i remember now fucking film strip that's what it started in my head i think i was in like the fourth grade and they showed us a drug film strip remember film strips yes and it fucking popped up this guy like it

there's a guy i still remember it's a guy in a it's a guy in a fucking um empty apartment and he's curled against the wall in the fetal position and it's at lsd and it looks terrible and then the narrator says lsd can make you experience hallucinations you can see dragons and i remember him saying you could see dragons i'm like i want to see a fucking dragon that sounds awesome fuck the empty apartment the fetal position i'll figure it out that guy's a pussy yeah like what are you crying you saw a dragon you little bitch you took acid what'd you expect yeah i and and that was that put it in my head it's like well you know i i think that that's a interesting thing to explore but

yeah oh that's hilarious so you think that you were like two duncans like duncan one and duncan two like duncan one is like regular dunin growing up innocent boy sure boom psychedelics and then dunkin 2 2.0 yeah yeah yeah there's definitely a dunkin 2 that that happened i'd say and then that that dunkin 2 changed too man because you you know as you get older the best thing that there's two great the best thing that can happen to you is you get knocked off track that's the best thing that can happen to you in general. Because generally the track you're on has been set for you by people who never got off their track. You end up, you know, you end up the child of someone who decided to have you in their 20s, 21, 22. They're not going to know a lot of stuff. They're not going to understand the universe that much unless they were like, came

from a really good family of like artists or intelligent people, chances are they're scared, hungry, desperate, angry. They don't want to be in the relationship anymore. They don't want to be monogamous anymore. The idea of non-monogamy to them might just seem insane. You know, like who the fuck knows? But you're born into that planet. That's the atmosphere you're born into. That's what you're breathing when you're first born. And that can set you on a weird path. And that's the atmosphere you're born into that's what you're breathing when you're first born and that can set you on a weird path and that's a very sad path that you can get on and so hopefully if you're lucky you'll come across somebody who knocks you off that

fucking path you know I remember the guy who hooked me up with acid I remember sitting in the theater of my school because I was taking I was a drama nerd and I was sitting in the theater of my school next to this guy I love the way you said that too next to this guy Brad and I remember sitting in the theater of my school next to this guy. I like the way you said that, too. Next to this guy, Brad. And I remember sitting and we were talking, and he mentioned tripping on LSD.

And I'm like, what? He's like, oh, yeah, I took acid over the weekend. I'm like, what? You can get acid? The movie, the life of Dunk. Somebody must animate this somebody please i know your folks out there that animate shit you got to animate this that that moment took me to and this is really weird tell me what the the first trip was like i'd love to the first trip was uh

it was white blotter uh white blotter paper i don't it was just white blotter a little p you know for somehow if you don't know this uh lsd gets put on sheets which look like blotter paper and sometimes they have designs sometimes they don't but the name is always a reference to usually is a reference to the design on the sheet so uh, you know, purple Jesus, white blotter, lips, you know, there's a million different names for the different types of acid. But so this is just white, who knows what it was, but it was really good. And I can remember, I took it. And you have to, you know, it takes 30 to 45 minutes, sometimes longer for it to kick in. I still remember I was sitting in my friend's trailer in a trailer park in North

Carolina, sitting in an empty bathtub, like an empty jacuzzi tub that was in this trailer. And I'm sitting there and they're watching Star Wars. And I'm sitting in this bathtub. And all of a sudden, the greatest feeling just started going through my legs and up into my body. And it was a fucking sword fight. It was a lightsaber fight. And I'm listening to that. But all of a sudden now, the sound's echoey, like someone's turned an echo up on it. So it's like, it's kind of bouncing around. It's beautiful. And I feel so fucking good. Started laughing. It seems so funny. Then I went outside and lay in the grass i'm staring at the sky everything's beautiful trails you put your hand in front of your face

and it's just this rainbow of hands drifting in front of your face everything's breathing then my friends come running out because they knew this is the first time i was tripping and they all start jumping over me they're like jumping over me as i'm laying there and they're laughing and we're all fucking laughing and it's just perfect then i remember somebody pulled their cock out that's when they pulled that's when we all started fucking we fucked and fucked and then a dog came by and we grabbed the dog and started fucking the dog no no it was beautiful contrary to the spirit of acid it's very no yeah there was no fucking happening there was a lot of like laughing there was i remember going into my friend's shitty high school car and like sitting and like pulling

the seat back and looking at the ceiling and i'm looking at the ceiling and it's fucking hieroglyphics or some kind of like ancient writing. You know, I don't even think I knew what Sanskrit was at the time, but I'd probably be like, oh, I'm seeing Sanskrit. Some kind of runes or glyphs all over my friend's car that's just kind of breathing and warping. And it's just beautiful. So, yeah, that was the first time. And once you've had that experience, how do you go back to a world, a normal kind of world? The first time I ever did acid,

I've told you this before, I met Kurt Cobain. How crazy was that? Whoa. Wow. Tell that story again. I think I died this night, by the way. I have this theory that, no, this is what made me think of a theory that every time you die,

you don't know that you died, but then you left this world and everyone else in this other parallel world, they think you died. They went to the funeral. This is where I thought this from. The first time I did acid, me and my girlfriend at the time, that was Marissa, we went to go see... Holla, Melissa.

We went to go see Nirvana, and she had acid. I've never done acid before. She goes, let's do acid and see nirvana so we took acid and the opening band was on which which is some asian band that just screamed the whole time and it was like uh you know it's kind of like i don't know annoying uh so i was sitting next to the side of the stage and kirko bane comes around the corner and just comes out and like it was really dark so no one could see it and he's just standing right next to me i look over i'm like oh my fucking god it's kirko bane and i was like hey what's one could see it and he's just standing right next to me. I look over and I'm like, oh my fucking god, it's Kurt Cobain.

And I was like, hey, what's up? And he goes, hey, you want a Cheeto? And he held out his bag and I'm like, yeah. So I held on the Cheeto and then suddenly he's just like, somebody goes, oh, Kurt! And then he just throws all the Cheetos out in the crowd and then it returns backstage. I'm holding this Cheeto and I'm like, ah. He threw the Cheetos in the crowd?

Yeah, like he had a bag of Cheetos that he was eating from. He just threw it at the crowd? Yeah. He just threw Cheetos everywhere. I mean, this is like a the Cheetos in the crowd yeah like he had a bag of Cheetos that he was eating from he just threw it at the crowd yeah he just threw Cheetos everywhere I mean it was this is like a mosh pit in Dayton Ohio you know like side of the stage like a rock club you know hair arena I think it was a fucking video of Dana White getting in a mosh pit yeah he went to a raging the machine range against the Machine concert motherfucker got in a mosh pit she gets security guards looking out for him and shit. He jumped in a mosh pit.

So I took this Cheeto and I put it in my pocket. I'm like, I'm going to save this Cheeto. And then I start tripping really hard. It was an amazing concert. On the way home, we're driving and we go by and I'm driving

and this is a thunderstorm of rain. I'm still tripping. And you're tripping on acid. And I'm tripping on acid. Those are responsible citizens. No, no, no. And then this is a thunderstorm of rain i'm still tripping and i'm tripping on acid and then and then this is even better and i swear to god you could ask her i'm not gonna say who she is i'm on here but uh we started fucking while i was driving oh in the rainstorm on acid for my first time and that's where i think i died the first time one of the first times i died it might be man yeah well that's isn't this isn't

that a theory that you um said to me once yeah it's the idea that when you die i think yeah you're the one you've said that before yeah yeah it's just that it's like a kind it's a multiverse idea the idea is you're a fucking you know what you're an eternal being you're an eternal being your body is a frequent it's like a radio that's you that tunes you in, tunes your specific personality in. The moment you die, that radio frequency pops into something else. There's no death. It's not like you die and there's nothingness or emptiness. It's not like you die and you're born as a baby and get to start over again. It's like something happens. You're driving down the street and you're like, man, why is that guy in my...

Then all of a sudden you open your eyes and you're you know getting up for going to work going to work like man that's a weird dream and then then you start that life again it goes on forever like that that the horrible idea especially horrible to bring it up to anybody who's had poor fortune in this life yeah it's just somehow or another connected with past lives you know you you ever heard someone say that? Like, oh, he must have been a real fuckhead

in his past life. Yeah. And it's like, wow, like what a, are you sure? I mean, are you sure?

Could it just not be a roll of the dice? Yeah. And maybe part of your karma is recognizing that. I think that, yeah, that's why I like the,

you know, Buddha, I like in Buddha, said don't think about the afterlife so much. I think even Christ said, I am the God of the living, not the God of the dead. The idea being like...

I like how he did that with a voice. Yeah, I am the God of the living. It's a good... I think real spiritual masters always tend to try to bring people back into the present moment because it's like, you know what? The present moment is everything. I know when shit goes wrong in my life i know why it went wrong i don't

have to go back to when i was a friar in the 1800s and like fisted a fucking you know none i know that if shit's going wrong right now generally it's like because i'm fucking up now it's good for and people can get lost people can start blaming their their karma uh or where they're at right now on past lives and it puts them in this place of stupid hopelessness and they don't do the things they need to do right now to get to a better place praise jesus praise the lord say his name so many fucking say his name so many simple things you could do man all you here's what you have to do this is my new theory identify the vampire in your life find the vampire identify the parasite well it doesn't have to be that you have parasites in

life it is possible that you could have gotten lucky and there's no parasites and you get off groovy sure no i'm not saying everyone's got one but if you got one if you're walking around with those fucking vampire blues you've got the fucking heavy heart and you can't feel happy and you feel bad there may be an action that you need to take that you're afraid to take that's the vampire and you've got a fucking not even a person oh no i mean it's a situation i see what you're saying saying. Find the vampire in your life. Yeah, find the life-sucking situation that you're afraid to kill. And the reason I say vampire is because vampires only go where they're invited. And generally, the situation that you're in, you invited it in.

You invited this thing into your life, and now it's sucking your life energy and your blood and your happiness away. A lot of times, you'll try to believe, you'll try to convince yourself that this thing is not a vampire. But in your heart, you know. You're a servant to a fucking bloodsucker. You're a Rinfeld.

This thing is like sucking your life essence away. Sometimes it's doing it with a trade. Quite often, there'll be a bad trade. You'll be, you know, whatever the situation you're in, you'll feel like you're in the situation. You know, it's worth it. It's kind of bad, but it be a bad trade. You'll be, you know, whatever the situation you're in, you'll feel like you're in the situation. You know, it's worth it. It's kind of bad, but it's totally worth it.

This happens with jobs quite often, you know, where you're like, well, you know, but it's good enough. That's the vampire. You got to take a fucking stake and drive it into its heart. How do you kill a vampire? Two ways. Direct action. You don't kill a vampire by like making up with a vampire. You don't kill a vampire by having a sit down talk with a vampire. You're

not going to be able to make friends with a vampire. There's two ways to kill a vampire. One, you fucking put a stake in its heart. The other one is light, sunlight, truth, light. It's the greatest metaphor of all time you shine the light of truth onto the situation fearlessly analyze it and then you'll destroy it you know because if you really allow yourself if you can act you gotta act the real problem with people is not recognizing the enemy it's acting on that enemy yeah that's the real problem that's it and that enemy being you know personal your personal demons, your personal jihad. That's it.

Your personal issue. You've got to fight the beast. And you know what I mean? Everybody's beast is different. Chapter 2 of the Bhagavad Gita, Arjuna's dejection. Arjuna is drawn between these two forces. He does not want to fight. He drops his bow, and God says to him, rise to the fight.

Fight. You're a warrior. This is what you're here for. Fight. Fight. It's better to die. It's better to die in a righteous battle than go skulking off into the fucking woods and be a beggar. It's better to fucking do what you do when you're a warrior.

You got to fucking do it, man. It fucking sucks. When you're drunk and you want to throw up and you try to not make yourself throw up just throw up you'll feel better you'll feel better in the end when you're puking it's gonna suck because you're helpless and you can't breathe go through it man fucking jab a fucking knife into the fuck not literally of course but yeah you got to act and you got to make the big fucking decision sometimes and it it's scary. If it wasn't scary, it wouldn't be worth anything. Yeah.

For some people, it's almost like they don't know how to start. They know that there's action that they need to take in their life, but they're paralyzed trying to think about it, trying to figure out how to start. And they can never gather up the courage to get away. That's why a lot of people stay in abusive relationships. They don't have the courage to leave. Exactly. Because it's scary and it seems like there's so many things that people will like ideas people will create they'll keep you trapped in whatever prison you're in it's very

similar to um and not i mean what you're talking about in the ufc with these fucking fighters this is a visual representation of what anyone can do in their life but you're not getting maybe not all of us are going to get obviously be world-class fighters that get in a ring in front of the entire planet and fucking knock someone out, but you have in your life right now, if you haven't already done this, there's, you have the chance to be heroic. You have the ability right now to make a heroic act that could kill you. That's the thing. These actions, it's not always guaranteed that because you do the right thing, you're going to end up in a great place. You might end up fucked. You might end up temporarily in a homeless, or you might

end up temporarily jobless. If there wasn't risk associated with it, you would have already done it. That's the point. You know, if there wasn't risk associated with it, it wouldn't be worth anything. You know, if Mount fucking, you know, if the Himalayas were, you know, a little green grass-covered hill in a park, nobody would take pictures of them at the top putting a flag into it. The danger makes it heroic, you know?

So sometimes you just have to fucking, I sound like Tony Robbins, take the leap kill the vampire in your life kill the vampire in your life is a brilliant speech dude you you're dead right i i thought i i stopped you because i'm like not everybody has a bad person in your life but i didn't know that that's what you mean that's uh you're absolutely dead right you know i i always say that you know the energy vampires that you have in your life are really your number one enemy. They keep you from enjoying good times.

Everybody knows that one person where you settle down, and you're like, ah, finally I can fucking relax, and you turn on the television, and then someone, for whatever fucking reason, will decide that they have to talk to you now, and they want to get angry at you now. It could be a guy or a girl, whoever the fuck it is. It's one person that wants to, they want to

have power over you somehow or another and they want to stop you from doing what you want to do. There are people that have issues in relationships because one of the persons and one of the people in the relationship has some sort of a transparent issue with the other person. And what they try to do is they try to control that person from doing things

that they want to do. Anytime the guy wants to go play basketball or something like that, they come up with a reason why now is the time I would really like you to take me shopping. Or now is the time. It's almost like they want to see if they can drag you away from the thing that you like to do, thus proving that they're the most important thing in your life. Right.

And you know what, man? That's fucking sad. Well, you know what it is? It's instincts. It's instincts. This is how a girl would behave if you don't keep the pimp hand strong. And that's a fact. That's a fact. The only reason why girls get away with stuff like that is because guys let them get away with it. Just like, you know, the real issue with guys being douchebags to girls, of course, is the physical violence issue. It's not fair. It's not fair if

you're, you know, if you're fucking two chicks getting in a fight with each other, two lesbians, and you're basically the same size. Hey, I don't want you to fight, but I don't know why you're fighting, but hopefully you've got a good reason. But it's not a mugging. It's not a man beating up a woman. So physical fights are completely out of the question. Out of the question. And then what else is left? What else is left?

Trying to explain each other to each other? Arguing with each other? trying to piece it all together, not understanding their side at all. We certainly have to protect people from that kind of violence, right? Yeah. That's one of the ways that we know there's some sort of a weird disconnect between what we're capable of and the way we currently behave as a human race. The fact that it's even possible that we have a real issue with men beating the fuck out of women. That's a real issue. Women who get in relationships and get beat up. It's so fucked up. That's terrifying, man.

It's so fucked up. That's terrifying. That's scary shit. Yeah, it's scary. There was a girl that I dated when I was in high school, and she was really crazy. And she was just, she had like super strict Catholic parents, and she was really pretty. And she was just nuts, man. And we didn't see each other for years.

And then one time I was at this might even been years maybe been months I might be exaggerating but I hadn't seen her in a long time when you're 17 years old six months might as well be fucking years I mean things are accelerating you know you're graduating from high school and you know I mean and I met her and she was telling me that she had this new boyfriend that hit her and that she liked it it was the craziest conversation and I was like whoa and first of all I was thinking thank God I never hit her and that she liked it. It was the craziest conversation. And I was like, whoa. And first of all, I was thinking, thank God I never hit her. Because what if I liked

it too? What if, you know, what if you date a girl and she would totally start fights and totally do shit to piss me off, but I never thought she wanted to get hit. Like, I never, you can't hit a girl. It's silly. Like hitting the face or hitting the vagina? She likes to get smacked. She likes to get smacked in the face.

She likes to get rocked. Yeah, it's crazy, but she was telling me that she didn't understand it. Maybe she was rationalizing it. No, she was not rationalizing it. She was being really honest with me. She was like, I'm so confused. You're talking about SNL. She wasn't a dumb girl. No, no, no. Talking about a dude basically just smacking her around

and fucking her really rough and beating her up. Some girls actually like that. There's like a weird thing in them that wants, I mean, obviously, they don't want to get injured, but they want to get roughed up. They want to just get hair pulling

and smacked in the head. And this girl was like into getting smacked. It was like really crazy to hear. I was like, I don't know what to say. I'm like, you know what I said to her?

I said, listen, you can only get hit so many times in the head before you get brain damage okay you really have to consider that sounds like that already happened i said how long if this guy's fucking you all the time and every time he's fucking you he's hitting you in the head i'm like do you have headaches i started asking her things i ask fighters like if you get headaches how do you sleep at night like i'm a brain doctor or some shit i was like you can't let that dude hit you in the head right don't let but for whatever reason like turned her on

can you imagine having to tell someone you shouldn't let that guy hit you in the head well no man because you know what's confusing is guys can be like super loving after they do it because they feel terrible and then they're like really really really affectionate yeah they're really affectionate well some of them aren't even that you know but with a lot of people they're the ones that like get drunk and blame it on getting drunk and that's why they're abusing each other it's a sad world out there and there's a lot of sad homes in america there's a lot of sad sad uh it's just broken people reality broken people interacting with each other it's broken people interact with each other all could be fixed with interacting with each other. All could be fixed with mushrooms.

Yeah. With the Duncan Trussell Shamanic Institute of America, we propose to correct all of these problems with plants. That'd be great. And the wisdom of the indigenous people of the Amazon rainforest. For a combination of chanting and fleshlights, we will transform your... Well, the fleshlight use is mandatory when you're meditating at my ashram

because I don't want anybody horny. I don't want, like, while you're in there and you're supposed to be doing your alms, you're thinking about getting your dick sucked. But you know what, man? You know, like, the way, like, I read this great autobiography of Timothy Leary and they were talking about,

I can't remember the name of the famous house that he lived at, but where they were all tripping out and, like, constantly taking LSD. They would do this. They were all about, I can't remember the name of the famous house that he lived at, but where they were all tripping out and constantly taking LSD. They would do this. They were all swingers. So there would be guys and girls there. Guys banging guys.

They were, right? Occasionally. I think so, yeah. If you do know fast, you'll talk a cock. Yeah, but I think Timothy Leary is pretty straight. He was always dating models and shit. Really? Yeah.

That's why America hated him him a bunch of haters i but what they would do is they would like have this weird thing because what they were trying to do is they're trying to dissolve the react there the they were trying to dissolve um all the fucking uh ego constructs of which one of them is monogamy monogamy is an ego construct where you want to be the only person who is fucking the person that you're with, and they want you to be the only person to be fucking them. This is like a basic way that most people enter into relationships. So what these guys would do is they would have married couples,

and what they would do is randomly two people would be picked, a man and a woman, to go into this bowling alley that they had. And they would stay there for like three days straight and just take acid the whole time. And they would always end up fucking. So it was this idea of like – I bet there was a lot of babies where nobody knew who the father was. Oh, for sure. I'm sure that happened all the time.

That was McKenna's idea was that that an orgiastic mushroom cultures that existed in his, you know, I really think that's kind of, a lot of it was his imagination of what could have been possible. Yeah. Because it doesn't seem like that you really explain exactly what these people were doing, you know, 10,000 years ago in Choctaw, Heuk, and all these different places. But he had this idea that this, they developed this sort of an orgiastic mushroom style of living, and that people would get together and they would just like come, you know, so they would raise each other's kids. this sort of an orgiastic mushroom style of living.

And then people would get together and they would just like come, you know, so they would raise each other's kids. They would all be loving each other and all taking care of each other's kids. And I'm like, wow, that's kind of trippy. You know, it makes me think, like, could you live in a world like that?

I mean, if that, we all are just automatically possessive of our loved ones, our sexual partners, you know, your wives and boyfriends and husbands. And it feels terrible. Yeah. Well, yeah, it does. But it also feels great when you have each other to count on and you have this really cool relationship. Oh, no, that's fantastic.

Right. But the idea that someone like you're connected, like you're not even allowed to touch another body. Like everyone else is like, get away, get away, get away. Get away. You're connected. You're connected to the one. You're connected like you like you're not even allowed to touch another body like everyone else is like get away get away get away get away you're connected you're connected to the one you're connected to the one think how that feels man that's it that that's strange the feeling that inspires that is not a loving feeling it's a fucking well no no it's because men and women have completely different wiring and for a lot of women and not all of them some women just want dick all around every corner some women and that's their prerogative man if you're young and hot and you want dick around every corner you should be able to get it like what what is that bad what

it's only good when you fuck her you know i mean people people are goddamn crazy they really are like there's a fucking whore if she was fucking you you'd be like i got so lucky dude we had one smile and she goes you want to come up to my room? I said, yes. You know, like, how come when you score, it's awesome, and when she scores with other dudes, she's a fucking girl? Well, I'll tell you why. The reason that is is because our descendants, we're fucking sexually oppressed psychopaths,

and we still have that in us. And I know there's a genetic. It's a little of that, but it's also that we know that girls that are freaks like that, it's a rare thing. It's a weird thing. it's like probably a weird combative thing i i think women are getting a really shitty position where they gotta feel bad if you fuck a few guys right and that's not fair and i and i i know some of it's genetic but i know

well every relationship gets stale taking out the idea of the the genetic idea why people want men want to reproduce with as many women as possible there Even if you didn't have that instinctive nature, there's still the idea that being with one person would just get stale. Imagine this. Somehow, from your mind is removed all the negative or weird or strange connotations about sex. Now sex is just a physical experience of oneness with another person. So there's nothing from the

zeitgeist has been put in your head now imagine eating mushrooms and all of a sudden being in the experience of having sex with a group of people with zero uh sexual inhibitions with zero guilt just pure hedonistic pleasure as you sort of merge this i completely agree with in the terms of like a utopian society right but the way our world runs it's like my thoughts on it have always been and my advice has always been that when you find someone who you really enjoy hanging out with hang out with them and whatever if you get to a point where you really enjoy hanging out with, hang out with them. And whatever, if you get to a point where you really trust them and you're really honest with each other

and you're really enjoying each other's company, find out what bothers that person. What is it? Is there a genetic thing that you have maybe that I don't have? What is it? Yeah, I don't like me. And if you can do that,

if you can find someone you really sync up with and you actually enhance each other, then relationships are fucking beautiful. Congratulations. The real problem is most people, they're not even into exploring their own consciousness. They're not into exploring their own, the origin of their own thoughts. They're not really into self-examination. They're not really into a lot of different things that lead to sometimes problematic conversations that you have. Especially when, you know, they have a commodity and the commodity is that they're an attractive woman and you're in

some sort of a weird situation where there's a master there's a master over you it just depends on it also depends on the way you get into the thing i mean if you look at the entry mechanism into these things you know quite often it's purely based on physicality. Yes. Well, the problem is that the drug of sex, and it's really exciting and thrilling to get to the I love you part as quick as possible so the sex can get really intense. Yeah. And that is one of the things that happens when you really love someone. You can fuck someone that you think is hot and it's like a sexual thing

and it's a real big turn on. But it's not like fucking someone that's hot that you love it's just not the same oh yeah and that first awesome time when you're just getting into a relationship where the person says i think i'm falling in love with you and you've been feeling that holy shit man fireworks it's the greatest so for some people they'll look for an artificial that you know like you can if you get lucky and you actually do have that wow that's so lucky you the stars have to align yeah you know so many people get in situations where the person they're with is just a little off man just whatever it is well if you ever seen the video that awful what i consider to be the most grotesque experiment of all time where the fucking they a monkey, a little baby monkey,

and they gave him a wire mother. Yeah, I don't even want to talk about this. It disturbs me so much. They covered a fucking little box with fur. Yeah, and the fucking thing's clinging to it. See, now here's the thing. It's crazy. Some people.

You ever see that? Yeah. Some people. It's disturbing, right? But a lot of people are in that relationship where they're clinging to something that's not even real and they don't even under they've like tricked themselves into thinking that um and the real issue is the root the other person the real issue is the people that are raising these people the real issue is how

you you know everyone starts out neutral with a whatever blend of personality i bet almost every kid unless they have some serious neurological difficulties, almost every kid could be rendered a positive human being by the right people. They're surrounded by the right people. What we're doing is we're putting the most important thing for the resources of the human race, the youthful people developing into contributing members of society who can actually add to the culture, add to the experience, add to the process. And we're putting the development of our most valuable resource in the hands of everyone and anyone, including retards, morons, assholes, douchebags, fuckheads, everyone in between. There's a bunch of crazy motherfuckers shitting out kids every day.

And you can't say anything about it because then you're Hitler. And then you're you know you're you're you are you a fan of eugenics you know that didn't work in the past the guess what else isn't working this well yeah this overpopulation by monkeys isn't working either well that's why you got to be a bit of a i mean if you start waking up to yeah we got to wake all these people up and figure out a way to re-evaluate i'm not re-evaluate but reset people-evaluate, but reset people's minds, to reset people's, whatever it is that your operating system is, wherever it's failing. You have to, and like, you know,

sometimes I'll get these really fucking flattering tweets from people who listen to this, and they're like, man, I wish I had friends like you guys in my hometown to talk to. And that's really a super sweet thing to say. But I always think to myself, you know what? Why don't you go make some? Why don't you fucking

turn into a... I know it's hard. Especially once you get out of high school. I don't mean go make some in the sense of like... No, I mean... Like baskets? No, not... A wicket! Why don't you, no, I mean, no. It's a wicker. Like baskets. No, not, not, not. A wicker.

Why don't you go, why don't you go weave a friend? Yeah. No, I'm saying what you do is you, you gotta be the, you gotta be the force that maybe like throws somebody off their track. You know, you might have to be the thing that does that. Cause my, like the people I owe the most to are the people who managed to fucking knock me off my track, you know, managed to like fucking bring to me music i'd never heard before show to me books i'd never heard before and then all of a sudden that like steers you out of the fucking uh you know public sector the fucking um

well that's what you're doing that's what you're doing right now what you're doing right now is doing that exact same thing to all these hundreds of thousands of people that are listening to this. It's the exact same thing. You're doing what you're saying has always been greatest in your life. You're introducing ideas into people's heads that they probably never would have come up with. Or might not have come up with today. Who knows? Given the right amount of experience and time, anybody could probably.

That's the idea that thoughts aren't your your own you're just tuning into them like some sort of a that's it that's it well that's the idea but is that it because i struggle with that because i like it it sounds beautiful it sounds kind of spooky and crazy but it also makes me think i wonder if it's just that the mechanism for retrieving really good, interesting, creative ideas. The mechanism for thinking, you have to have all your resources, all your facilitating resources, so the ego has to be fucking completely quiet. And if the ego is not completely quiet,

the ego is like, I'm going to get some fucking new clothes so I can look slick, and I'm thinking about getting a nose ring. Nose rings are pretty hot. Chicks are really into that. I wonder if my hair would be cool if it was blonde. You start really tweaking. Your ego starts wigging out on your, maybe I should get myself a new Cadillac.

Chicks dig that shit. And you start, I'm tired of being the VP at work. I'm going to step it up this year. I'm going to demand the fucking. You start getting crazy egoey and it like it cuts out all the noise i mean it makes creates too much noise and the the creative mind the the the zen mind the humble mind it there's not enough resources so this is a you know you use this this tool and this tool is to say oh i'll just pretend they're not even my thoughts i'm. I'm just tuning them

into the universe. I'm so humble. So what you're doing is with this philosophy, like putting it through this filter, you've just shut your fucking nasty,

stupid ego up. Sure. By saying that you're just a vessel and you're just tuning these things in. Well, yeah, and you know what, man?

And I'm not arguing that. It's like either or, right? Here's how I look at it. Or it's not either or. Whatever fucking vehicle you need to use to get to the point where the thing's how i look at it i don't or it's not either or whatever fucking vehicle you need to use to get to the point where the thing's turned off use it if you need to conceptualize it by thinking you're connecting with some kind of uh super intelligent consciousness that just wants the planet to be happier because it doesn't want the planet to die and it's giving

its own voice to as many people as allow it whatever that that's a vehicle what that is any any ideology like that along it's a vehicle for you managing happiness it's a vehicle you know it's a and so when you get in a fucking bus to get to point a b or c it's not the bus it's the point that you're getting to use the vehicle use whatever mechanism you have to use to dissolve your ego to the point where you're not going to turn into a fucking dick because the moment you start claiming ownership over whatever it is man like i think the most obvious version of it is like super attractive people who act like they deserve it who act like they've done something for it that's unfortunate think how ugly that makes it it's gross it's so sad when like really pretty girls say nasty shit right You just want to say, God, do you know how fucking lucky you are to be as pretty as you are?

You should be so happy all the time. To shit on what another girl looks like? Oh, my God. And it makes them ugly. It's so unfortunate because of all the shit you could talk about. When a really hot chick shits on a girl for not being so pretty, wow, that's like, damn. on a girl for not being so pretty like wow that's like damn but dude what is more deadly and attractive than a super hot girl who doesn't care that she's super hot who's managed to overcome all the fucking years of being worshipped by people and it's just normal and cool that's a

that's a heart crusher the problem with that girl is she's not gonna be one of nine wives in the cult what do you know she's too fucking smart yeah thinking for herself and shit my post-apocalyptic cult she'll have no place i love that well you know what you can you can make her the high priestess of the cult man oh yeah i like the way that goes the idea is you just gotta fucking the idea is don't get caught up in like well the idea is continue to advance and always analyze, observe, look at all the people around you, look at all the different influences, all the different things you can draw from online,

take what is useful, analyze yourself. You know, it's a process. We're all a part of this process. You and I have both seen each other evolve. We just don't really realize it as much because we've evolved together. But if we went back in time 10 years ago to when we met and then like,

when did we meet? It was about 10 years ago, a little over that, I like, when did we meet? It was about 10 years ago. A little over that, I think, really. Yeah, it might have been like 2001 or something. Wasn't like even before that, dude. Yeah, I knew you before 9-11. Joe, I bet you don't remember this. I remember the first time I met you.

Really? Yes. This was when I was Corey's assistant at the comedy store. And I was sitting next to you. And you were, I think you had, this was right around when you just started smoking weed or you were kind of a marijuana, starting to become a marijuana advocate at this time.

But it wasn't, this was way. It's called my annoying phase. No, but it was really funny. Yeah, it was an annoying phase. It was really funny because I was sitting. Come on, man. No, i was sitting next to you and i i at the time i'd i'd been i'd gone i went through this um being a marijuana

advocate phase like you know a few a few years before but i remember sitting next to you and talking about weed and as a joke because i didn't know you that way you didn't know me and as a dumb joke i was like man weed should be illegal and you shot me this fucking look man you were you were like you make an accident because you thought i would you put some fake dread Like, man, we should be illegal. And you shot me this fucking look, man. You are like. Don't you make an accent. Because you thought I would. He put some fake dread on. He put a mop on his head.

He was all Gary Oldman. Hey, man. No, I said it should be illegal. And you seemed so pissed. And then Corey was like, shut up, shut up. Don't say anything. Because we didn't know each other. And I could have seemed like a real asshole at the time.

But then. I don't remember that at all. I know. I think you. you might just be a little paranoid i think you tuned me out i probably went oh i don't think i got like like like got angry with you you didn't get angry i probably just seemed like an annoying idiot how dare you yeah i was making a joke one of two things either you were trying to make a joke which would be not funny and i would be bored with it that's what happened or i'd be like what an asshole it's probably just i think it was the form it was the former but then after that we started talking on the phone and we start having conversations like this on the phone we've been duncan and i used to have these fucking 45 minute phone calls yeah i'd call him up because

duncan was the dude who like you'd say hey i can work uh tuesday through thursday this week you go okay cool and then you know they'd get together and create a schedule. You'd call Duncan and he would get your avail. So me and Duncan just started talking on the phone. I don't know what started it off. We'd have these crazy-ass 45-minute fucking while he's working at the comedy store. And every now and then I'd be like, oh, hold on a second,

dude, sorry. He'd put me on hold. I'd have to answer some other phone call. I could see you both laying in your bed with your little swatch phones. Both baked as fuck. Duncan was high on the job every goddamn day he worked there yeah there was it was a natural progression for me to stay high on the job doing fear factor as well it's like it all went like everybody was high when they were working that's how you got through work yep when you started working there you know i remember you were you went through this little struggle where he is you know you wanted to a comic, but they didn't take you seriously

while you're still working there. That's right. I had to go. I had to kill the vampire, man. You had to kill the fucking vampire there. And any time you fucking kill that vampire, if you survive, flowers will rain from heaven on your life. Flowers will bloom, man.

You can get better. Everybody can get better. We can all advance and move forward. But you've got to be positive as fuck. Don't be convinced that you have anything figured out. Whether it's the secret or Buddhism or whatever the fuck it is. Don't be convinced, man. Don't be convinced. This world might be entirely

made up of imagination. It might be. It might be entirely made up of imagination. The more time moves forward, the more I wonder if there's a theory, and I believe that you were the first one to introduce me to this theory as well. The theory that your life,

the world that you live in, is really something that your own mind has created, and as you get older, and your body starts to slowly deteriorate, and progress towards death, in your own particular universe, that's when the shit hits the fan and it all goes down and you've managed to manufacture this idea inside your mind that

the life you experience is an actual real life yes when what it really is is just a series of events that have been tied together to prepare you for the next stage of existence that's right man and the more that you can let go of your attachments to this particular life and become the thing that is in uh throughout the evolutionary cycle then the less uh traumatic death will be could you imagine that really does get proved someday that you're and everybody would be like what your imagination controls your fucking life god damn it i could have made a fucking awesome life let me i just fucked up and rewired everything all wrong i made this shitty life could you imagine if that was really the case you believed what the fuck that would be it would be such evil information that people wouldn't even want it to get out but then you would that would be that would be a religious issue people might withhold

that they found out that we are in in reality, architects of our own world, our own universe, and that each one of us is actually that thing. Well, I think that if – here's a weird idea. If there were – imagine there was a hell, and the only way that you could keep the people in hell was making sure that they didn't realize that at any second they could turn that hell into heaven. You had to keep them, you had to keep them like oblivious to this idea. You would realize that the thing you're talking about, the things that obscure the light, so to speak, of making people's lives great,

it's like TV. It's the media. Every time you turn the fucking TV on, it's showing you death and destruction. When you turn on the radio, they're talking about wars and bombs. Everywhere you look, it's darkness, darkness, and darkness. It's like people are really trying to keep our consciousness focused on the dark instead of on the light. global movement to try to get people's minds to shift from the obsession with death and all the forms of negativity that so many people are focused on and to turn their minds towards the beauty and towards friendship and towards like healthy sex and towards embracing each other, then really this entire planet could transform into some version of heaven, I think. Something, a form of paradise, you know?

But there's a... Ultimately and eventually, but right now, how long is it going to take? I think it's going to take, it's either going to... Something's going to have to happen, right? Well, it's some form of invention. We either get an invention, we get an alien, or we get destruction. Yeah, right? invention we get an alien or we get destruction it's yeah right to quote morrissey uh if it's not love it's the bomb that'll bring us together that would be awesome if you didn't quote morrissey

i'm sorry but it's a great fucking quote he said it man he's great i i've actually what is his real name what is his real name is that his real name is it just don't ask me that i'm like every goth on the planet's gonna hate me forever if i can't answer that right away well i don't know i just think i think his name is morrissey it would be really cool quote if he just said his name not just morrissey you know maybe it's ronald ronald morrissey ronald morrissey i hope so what what gary morrissey you know it's more legitimate quote it's so funny how morrissey would He's got a name like a rapper. He never would have gotten famous if on his albums it said Gary. Dude, have you heard Gary?

Dude. Let's go. I have a mystic. I have a mystic. His name is Gary. No, your mystic has been named Abaddon Shanfalakan. Oh, he's got to be that. It's Steven, actually.

Yogi Ramacharaka. Yogi Ramacharaka. It's Steven, by the way. Steven. Is it really? I knew someone who got really into yoga and changed her name. She insisted you call her by her new name. I think there's a usefulness.

I understand that. I think there's a usefulness to that. I think that there's a... Reinvention. That's a good tool, man. And I understand why people do that. Because if you think about your name and where it came from, we're not getting named in the way people used to get named people people used to get named on you know based on their actions and stuff the real name would come later

we get named on what some fucking 22 year old dope decided that some you're the little pink wriggling thing that you were should be called you I want to name after my great-grandfather. Is that what you were named after, Duncan? I don't know where it came from. You were named after donuts. I don't know where the name came from, but I do understand this idea of rebirth or the idea of once you get knocked off track,

why not go really deep and fucking just rename yourself altogether. That is the best cult speech i've ever heard in my life that's the way to get people to really drink that kool-aid just jump in balls first come on man go for it just get in there son well take the big jump and why it's like change your name into a crazy new name your name's duncan bitch if i was joey diaz you've been duncan since you were fucking baby now all of a sudden you want to change governments well i mean look at fucking cat stevens yeah that's not a good example. Crazy asshole.

Supporting the fucking murder of Salman Rushdie. Get out of here, man. Or Prince. You're an artist. Didn't work for Prince. Well, Prince did it for recording rights reasons. Oh, really? Yeah, he had an issue with them owning his name.

I don't think it always works, but I think sometimes I do. I can understand the usefulness of it as a tool i can understand it as a way to like create the differentiation between whatever the person that you were in your earlier phases and who you've become i don't think it's always good i think if people allow me to name them i will name them beautiful names that they'll be quite pleased with how crazy is it that prince changed his name to a fucking symbol what a what an amazing move that was art is really an amazing move amazing move i mean that's that's how you get out of a legal contract you're not even a name anymore it's just some fucking squiggly crazy thing that's hilarious you know i mean the the the language of contracts

is so ridiculous in the first place the idea that there's anything you could ever sign away where that person owned you and your likeness. How the fuck can you sell that? You don't own that anymore? You can't use your own likeness? Now you have to use this crazy symbol? A new fucking signature? Just like the signing shit.

You give up that name. You give up the name Prince or Duncan Trussell. Especially if it was a Larry the Cable Guy thing where it was a name you made up. name prince or duncan trussell you know or if he especially if it's like a larry the cable guy thing where it was like a name you made up you know you that's a property my my intellectual property my first name my first name is charles my name is charles christ dude you just fucked up i don't care charles duncan trussell is now the new the the latest name on twitter right now what's wrong with that The problem is that guy's going to confuse everybody. He's going to have a picture of you that looks exactly like your Twitter picture. And when you change it, he's just going to

copy and paste it and make his own Twitter picture. Don't do this. This always comes with some mystery hacker. You're instructing people right now. Every time you have an issue, he's going to know a little bit more about how to fix your issue. And he's going to give you some awesome advice.

And you're going to start really getting freaked out as to how this fake Duncan Trussell really knows how to manage the real Duncan Trussell's life. And then you're eventually just going to live under the assumption that this fake Twitter account, Charles Duncan Trussell, is actually the universe giving you advice through Twitter. Can't wait. Charles Trussell. I can't wait to meet my true self. You're not going to get to meet him. You're going to get to communicate with him online. But Charles Duncan Trussell

Will be giving you information So what's about to happen So Joe Are you about to start A Twitter account No I'm not doing shit The universe is going to do this for us I love it

Charles Duncan Trussell And now you have three names Like serial killers So what you have to do Is now you know You have various Untold issues in your life I'm sure we all do

Get online And tweet them And then say Charles Duncan Trussell What should I do now And it's like calling them? It's like Candyman Names are so stupid Charles I picked Duncan when I was a kid. I my name's Joe. It's like what it's boring. Yes Yeah, I I was I started off of court as a Charles and then my parents I think started just calling me dunk

and then my parents i think started just calling me dunk and then i decided i wanted to be called duncan and instead of charles and so then that's when i i became maybe it's because you knew that one day you would work with fleischer so it wasn't even your head so you didn't it's not even your middle name it's my middle name well they just added it later no sometimes for some reason in the west when we name people we'll give them three names it won't just be a first and last right yeah it'll be like joseph james rogan joseph james rogan so you get tom fitigan you get these extra names for some reason the whole thing's just idiotic and so brian allen brian allen b-a-r so yeah you just pick you you gotta fucking pick

this name you know you gotta like you can choose your middle name or your first name. Even the fact that there is a first name. And some people, they're so narcissistic, they just name their kids after themselves. And that's where you run into seconds and thirds? George Foreman. George Foreman named all his kids George. Echoes. So now you're making echoes.

Little fucking genetic echoes named after you. It's just a terrible thing to put into someone's mind. Yeah, my whole family is completely unoriginal. I was Joe. My father's name was Joe. My grandfather's name was Joe. My grandmother's name was Josephine. Really?

Yeah, completely unoriginal. Yeah, it's a very odd thing. Well, it was a fact. I really requested a lot of Joe. That's what I wanted. So I just, in my life, in my lineage, you know, when I was creating myself in my imagination, I decided I wanted to really see what happens

if you overdose on Joe. I want a ton of Joes back there. Come out of the gate, guns swinging. Well, who knows? Well, it's unoriginal names, the fucks. Yeah. Everybody's Joe. Come on.

Everybody? Really? Stop it. Everyone's Brian. You're Brian Allen? Imagine if you became a stand-up and you called yourself Brian Allen. Yeah. Then you'd go to clubs and everybody would be like, what the fuck, man?

I thought it was that black guy that interviews comedians. They'd all be coming to see you. I just come from PA. If you go onto Wolfram Alpha, you can put your name in and see how many people right now are existing with your name. Whoa. That's creepy. If you really want to feel insignificant. Well, I've talked to one on the phone, Joe Rogan at JoeRogan.com.

Seemed like a nice guy, ex-military guy, but he wanted a lot of money for the site. He sought dollar bills. And I'm like, all right. Also, he's got his own website running there, and he's been doing it for a while. Yeah, he's an ex-military guy. He doesn't look like ex-military. He looks more like, I don't know, a scientist. Well, when they get older, they look like older men.

Weird. Brian thinks he should have a flat top and a fucking knife in his teeth. He looks like the opposite, though. He doesn't seem like a soldier. So, Duncan. Yes, sir. We leave in the morning. I know.

We've got to wake up fucking early. I'm going to do the Rosie O'Donnell show. That's so romantic. I'm excited. I like Rosie O. I'm going to do the Rosie O'Donnell show. That's so romantic. I'm excited. I like Rosie O'Donnell. I'm a Rosie O'Donnell fan. Hey, can I say one thing real quick? Yeah.

Because something fucking cool happened, and I want to announce it. I did this South by South. I got invited to go to South by Southwest. Yeah. And they offered me this shitty deal. I won't go into it here, but if you want to see the deal, look up. Hitler gets invited to South by Southwest. It's so great. Because I was just complaining because they don't fly the comics out. for me this shitty deal. I won't go into it here, but if you want to see the deal, look up Hitler Gets Invited to South by Southwest. It's so great. Because I was just

complaining because they don't fly the comics out, and it's just generally a bum deal. And I'm just saying this because pretty much right after I did, or from that video, I got invited to this awesome festival that's happening in Austin called the Moon Tower Comedy Festival.

And that's happening in April. And they just are doing the press releases today. And I just think it's so fucking cool that they are showing that festivals can pay performers, pay airfare, and put them up. Which isn't that insane an idea. It's just normal, but it's beautiful.

I don't understand how anybody ever got away with anybody working for free when you're making money. I don't get... Unless South by Southwest is some amazing charity that I don't understand. They're got away with anybody working for free when you're making money. I don't get it. Unless South by Southwest is some amazing charity that I don't understand. They're not. It's not a charity. It's not? Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm real sure. Should we know that? Yeah. Should we Google that? Yeah, there's probably all these poor puppies that are crying somewhere. We should Google that just to be sure. Yeah, I have a feeling they would have said it by now based on the awesome videos I've been making. Yeah, let's look up if South by Southwest.

Yeah, but you can't just assume like that, right? Listen, I'm getting my apology letter. South by Southwest. You better start typing that shit. $10,000 for charity. Wow, that's nice. Let's see. Charity.

Let's see. South by Southwest. It seems like they do some stuff for charity. You can impact charity without being rich. I'm sure that they do. I'm sure South by Southwest, it seems like they do some stuff for charity. You can impact charity without being rich. I'm sure that they do. I'm sure South by Southwest does charity, but when you ask artists to perform for free at your festival that's sponsored by 16 million different corporations,

it's a bit of a charity. The strongest memory of South by Southwest 2010 was a rooftop party when the South by Southwest partygoers spontaneously raised $300 towards the purchase of a wheelchair South by Southwest 2010 was a rooftop party when the South by Southwest party goers spontaneously raised $300 towards the purchase of a wheelchair for the nephew of one attendee. The young man was paralyzed temporarily and the family could not afford a wheelchair. That's beautiful. That's beautiful.

I think that's very nice. That's nice and all, but they have so many sponsors. How many people are paying to go see South by Southwest? Is it expensive? Go to their website. I think the cheapest pass is around $100, but it might be more than that. Wow. So they don't get everybody to work for free, right?

They must pay some people. No, I think some of the bigger names get paid, but mostly after I did these videos, mostly what I heard from people is that the idea, here's the concept, to play South by Southwest advocate, the idea behind it is, hey, man, it's just we're all having fun out here. It's a party. It's a chance to like hang out with a bunch of other comics and have a good time. We don't invite a lot of comics out. So it's a, you know, it's a it's an honor to get invited out and you're going

to get a chance to perform. We'll put you up in someone's guest bedroom. But we can't pay you. put you up in someone's guest bedroom, but we can't pay you and we can't pay for your airfare. And if you want to stay in a hotel, you're going to have to pay for your own hotel. Now, I think that that coming from like a festival that really was a charity, like the Make-A-Wish Foundation or something that was solely raising money for charity, or even a startup festival. What about just a startup festival that seems really cool and isn't making any money? All that, it makes sense to me. It'd be really cool.

But I think when it's coming from a festival the size of South by Southwest, which is a giant festival. I read that 30,000 people come through there a year, and they're asking performers to come out for free and to pay for their own ticket. I think there's something in that that's pretty fucked up. Dear Southwest Airlines, if you want me to come, I'll totally do it and I'll pay for everything. Thanks.

It's not Southwest Airlines, knucklehead. No. South by Southwest. We found out she was right. Veronica Ricci was right. It is sponsored by Southwest. It's sponsored by a fucking airline, man, and they don't even fly the comics out.

Oh, my God. So it really is. I thought you were joking. He's not joking. Because she told us that at dinner, and we both laughed at her, and we were like, I was like, oh, you're so silly. Well, I thought you were right.

Me too. I thought you knew. No, I didn't know. God damn it, Brian. You spread disinformation across the world. Now you've confused the masses. You didn't know either, though, right? I did not know.

No, I don't know anything about, I don't, I think it must be an awesome hang. I did one thing once, one festival. I did Summerfest in Milwaukee. It was fucking great, man. I loved it. But I felt weird because I'm on stage and I'm just doing my regular act and there's people with babies or holding babies in the crowd.

I'm like, this is just fucked up. You know, it's just... I like doing stand-up in a place where people come to see stand-up. Totally. That's it. That's it. That's it. But no, I think festivals, I've done festivals. Sometimes they're fun.

Like I did the Vancouver Comedy Festival. Comedy festivals are different. They're fun. I'm saying performing at a music festival. Oh, yeah, that's a little. Music festivals are way more rowdy. It's way more likely that the people did not come to see that. Right.

There's a big difference, man. Comedy festivals are amazing. Montreal is... So fun. I did Montreal several years. I think I did it six years. It was fucking... Insane blast.

That place is great. Super fun. It's a whole town, Montreal, that literally has been privy to these festivals coming in every year. So they have this really high palette for comedy. It's a fucking great place to do comedy. We were supposed to go back in March, but unfortunately the UFC had to move its March date.

They had to move the Montreal date because no champions were available and they were going to put together a big card for up there, so they postponed it. I was like, damn. I was really looking forward to going back to Montreal. Yeah, well, you know what? Montreal, I don't care about, like,

I don't want to come across like, I'm like, you got to fucking, you got to pay up if you want me to. It's not that at all. Oh, no, it's reasonable. Just acknowledge something, you know? Montreal pays people. Yeah, they do.

Vancouver pays people. They fly you up there. The Moon Tower Festival pays people. Sasquatch pays people. And people have argued, like Stanhope got really mad at, you know mad at the Montreal people and started his own thing just for spite.

They called it Just for Laughs. So he would do it in town. Performed at it. Yeah. There you go. But if you look at what they're doing, even if you think that they should be paying more, like Stanhope does, it's fucking infinitely better than nothing.

Nothing. Nothing's ridiculous. Nothing, no hotel room, no airfare. What? Well, no, they said no hotel room, but they say you can stay in someone's guest bedroom. Get the fuck out of here. Imagine you're staying over someone you don't even know. And also, the other thing that the guy said to me during these emails, and the guy who books it is a super nice guy.

I started feeling guilty because he's a who books it is a super nice guy. I started feeling guilty because he's a really nice guy, a very friendly guy, but he couldn't acknowledge the one point that I was making, which is that if you're charging tickets for people to come see performers, you have to pay the performer something. It's just basic logic. That's all. Maybe you don't have enough to pay for everything. Maybe the performers you can only get them in a hotel and get them out there. If you're making them pay for everything, then they're

subsidizing your festival. I would go though just for it to be fun. In my opinion, if you're looking at CES, the Consumer Electronics Show or any of these huge things, people are usually going because it's what they love and it's a collection and to me i would go just because it would be an awesome party it'd be

awesome doing it but here's the thing man here's the problem with that in my mind the thing that i can't get past is that the reason it's fun and the reason people are going is because the great fucking performers that are there the movies unquestionably it was that was the main argument about the comedy store remember the main argument about the Comedy Store. Remember? The main argument about the Comedy Store was they were making it out that it was an honor to perform at this star.

They do that every day. You guys are crazy because this is not, this is just a box where you have a microphone and you turn it on. What you're selling here is art and the artists

who would create the art. You're selling art. You're selling stand-up comedy. You're not selling a spot. And yeah, it is a popular spot. It's a popular spot because of the fucking artists that perform there, period. That's it.

And that's it with big festivals. The same truth. It's the exact same truth. And festivals who are making a shitload of money have this awesome opportunity to- Make things fair. Make things fair. That's all you got to do is make it fair. These concerts like South by Southwest, isn't this where like you know like like people go to go hey we're looking for

people for the next year sitcom you know what but with vancouver with montreal with you could say that for any festival but it is though right yeah something where you're not for comedy there's things that get set up man they get set up and then they become law they become like this is just how it's done and there's a lot of them that don't make any fucking sense and this is one of them the idea that you would perform with something where where people profit you know they make a profit yeah and just pay a little bit that's the thing with i mean this guy the guy through my emails this guy charlie seemed really passionate about comedy he seemed like a really cool guy it's just if he would just you know if they would just

make one small step in the direction of being like, you know what, we thought about it. We should pay airfare for the performers to come out. That is silly. It's something that's sponsored by Southwest. That should be a no-brainer. Or half the airfare. Just something. Or discount. Well, it just drives so much fucking business to the town

too. I mean, I'm looking at an article about nine ways to profit from South by Southwest even if you weren't there and they're talking about how figuring out how to profit from this this gathering of people isn't that amazing that's like when you look at human beings like as some sort of a life form and you look at just what this article says nine way to profit from south by southwest even if you weren't there the idea that you could be extracting resources from some spot you You're nowhere near there. You don't even go there and you're just pulling out a way to profit. What is that?

What are you doing? You're profiting. You're pulling money out somehow or another from some place. I mean, I'm not saying you're doing it illegally. I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong. But the idea that you can do that, the idea that you're just, I'm signing checks and sending things out and I'm extracting money from a situation. There's a lot of people in that one spot. We need to get in that one spot and sell them things It's very fucking strange

It's weird People are weird as fuck man When is Southwest Southwest? I don't remember You know what we need to do? We need to put together an LA comedy festival LA is one of the best places in the world Our own dude

I don't want to join anybody else's festival an LA comedy festival. LA is one of the best places in the world. I think there's a few, no? Our own, dude. Our own? God. Yeah. I don't want to join anybody else's festival. Then you have to put their people on. I'll tell you a comedy festival.

We should do an Ice House comedy festival. I'll tell you, it's not a comedy festival, but I did this, my favorite festival that I ever did was... Furries?

Yeah. How'd you know? I love furries. I love dressing up like a raccoon. Dude, go tail or no tail? No tail. Tail makes it hard for them to grab your ass. Yeah, I find that... Tail gets in the way of ass play.

Tail totally gets in the way of ass play. No, there's this place up north. There's this place called Nevada City and they have this film festival up there and that place has the fucking deepest hardcore hippies I've ever seen in my life. And there's this beautiful river. I think it's the Yuma River that runs through there, and in the day you go swimming in this river.

It's so fucking beautiful. It's like this primordial river. You jump off rocks and go swimming. Where is this place again? It's called Nevada City. Nevada City, California? No, not Nevada. They pronounce it Nevadaada it's where all the nevada city yeah it's like there's a i think that's california yes that's right where you're getting into what i think and i may be

wrong about this what is called the emerald triangle it's like right where you start getting where they they grow the buds for the dispensaries slam a jam fun man well that's a dangerous area too because they got a lot of Mexican people That go up there To grow pot And guys actually stay there It's really amazing

I watched a documentary on it On that show God damn it Vanguard You ever see that show? No I believe it's on True TV One of those reality TV networks

Anyway these people Did an investigative journalism thing Where they went into the The woods up there Very dense woods up there. And they found like these crazy campsites. These guys had set up with this guy who was the saint of narcotics. They have a narcotic saint.

Yeah, that's right. I forget his name. Something DeNarco. And it's like, wow, they have a saint to watch over them while they're growing drugs. Why not? Why not? Because the thing is, it's like if you think about what they're doing nothing wrong with growing drugs nothing wrong with being a farmer you're just

growing something out of the ground you're not doing anything wrong you're not evil you're not bad but because we happen to exist at a time period in human history or somehow idiots have determined that certain things that grow out of the ground are fucking bad yeah not only certain things that have never killed anybody and how about these people are moving through the night with night vision on they started fucking hiking at four o'clock in the morning because they had to walk like five hours to get to these fucking people and they wanted to catch them you know so they these guys are they're hiking through the woods at night to get with machine guns to catch farmers to go get mexican farmers to catch

mexicans they're mexican they've got a fucking god of drugs. We can't stop these people. That's all they are. Anyone who grows pot, you're just a farmer. You're a farmer. And it's amazing that they force these people to be fucking. Why do they have guns? They have guns because they have to have guns.

They have guns because they're all the way up here because they can't grow it down there or they'll get shot in the head and somebody will steal their shit. If you made it illegal to grow corn, corn farmers would have a fucking gun. Yeah. It's like any time. You'd a it's a yeah you have to defend yourself it's such a fucking the the consciousness of this country this world this this this global entity this human race the consciousness of this human race is altering right in front of our eyes with the internet and the internet and psychedelic experiences together, this shit has changed more in this hundred years

than at any time ever. Just the idea of how people feel about life on earth. It's so different. Yeah. It's so different than at any time. And we're riding the wave. We're lucky. We're so lucky. we're riding the wave we're lucky we're so lucky

we're we're riding or we are in a dream that is symbolic of our own life and we're slowly decaying and that's when there's a great battle will the shit hit the fan or will they come up with an invention that makes me live forever tune in next week till i fucking go head on into a semi and wake up 15 years old going to school again we're gonna have the best cold oh it's the best already it's already look man people are drawing fucking pictures of us you've ever seen that thing up there what's that homeboy's name pants what is his name uh formal sweatpants formal sweatpants you can you could buy that joe rogan experience uh poster from him if you haven't seen it it's fucking awesome what's his website formalsweatpants.com just the coolest thing i mean all this stuff i just want you guys to all

know that i am a hundred percent humbled blown away flattered i can't use enough positive words to describe how awesome it is that you guys first of all just like the show but then that you make like these little videos and little i mean there's so many cool videos of rants of just you and I, just you and I just going off about stuff. It's the, man, that's... Just that combination. That stuff is the coolest stuff ever, man. That stuff really, really makes me happy.

Like when we, when our, that rant we had that landed on Alex Jones, where I was talking about Alex Jones getting arrested, and that landed on hislex jones where i was talking about alex jones getting arrested yeah and that landed on his website that was intense man i was like fuck we're gonna we're gonna end up in a fucking fema camp that's like i felt a real because i i was like no you know why we're not going to because we can talk to the fucking troops we can talk to the cops we communicate to those people and they're not going to do what these assholes are telling them to do. That's ultimately a real problem with civil unrest in this country. The fucking genies out of the bottle, the cops, the firemen,

everybody knows that this is a fucking mess. Everybody knows that these people are just doing what you're supposed to do when you're an American. They're protesting some gross injustices, and they don't know exactly how to do it. The way I've've described them is that there's a fucking, there's a problem and they're white blood cells and they're surrounding this problem and they don't know how to conquer it and they don't know what to do. But the fact that so many people have gravitated towards one area, if you were looking at any other organism and this sort of a situation was happening,

you're like, well, clearly there's some sort of a disease. There's an illness. There's a sickness. There's an issue that's being addressed. Something very, very important is being addressed. I hear babies in the background. I do too. Yeah, my kids are screaming. Little munchkins. Duncan Trussell, one day you're going to have some little

munchkins. I'd love some little munchkins. Well, you're a good doggy daddy. Ah, yeah, we got rid of our five puppies. We have five puppies. You got rid of all of them? That's awesome. Got them all in good homes. Dude, little chihuahua puppies.

How cute are they? How can you not say? You go over there and you see them and you're just like, you got to take them, man. Well, yeah, I knew that we'd have no problem getting. Man, there is nothing fun. The power of fucking young things, it's so powerful that they can wake you up at four in the mornings squeaking. They're so powerful that they can wake you up at four in the mornings, you know, squeaking. They're so cute. You don't care. And you go in there and they will do jailbreaks where they would like get out and suddenly the house is just flooded with Chihuahua puppies that you're

trying to like bring back in. It's so fun. And it'll always make you laugh. You can't get angry at a puppy. It's almost impossible. Yeah. They're so goddamn cute. It's amazing. That's how nature has sort of engineered them. Nature and human beings have engineered them to be so goddamn cute and so loving. I mean, what's more loving than a dog, man? It's so funny, though. When my sister had her kid, she did the exact same thing as you, man. Like, immediately, it's like, who cares about the dog anymore? Baby, wait.

I still love my dogs. But you know what I mean? I love walking them. I love playing them. But yeah, that's not a person. Dogs and people are totally different things, man. You don't even understand. But it doesn't mean I don't love my dogs.

I'd love a little fucking baby one day, man. A little baby Duncan. A little fucking sweetie. I think we should just both get a baby Duncan, and you'll get one week, and I'll get the next week. Well, I think you guys should let somebody, there'll be a contest, and they'll be able to film the baby coming out.

So that would be, whoever did the best compilation video compilation video will give him access to your wife's vagina as the baby's coming out. What do you think, Val? Yeah. It sounds great. Sounds like a good idea. Yeah, perfect. But seriously, what is that dude's name again? Formalsweatpants.com?

Formalsweatpants.com. And he's got the Joe Rogan Experience poster. I don't know how much he's selling it for, but it's an awesome piece of artwork. I don't have any piece of this. It's all his. I freely, freely endorse it. You got a poster coming soon?

Yeah. Yeah, they did a new Death Squad logo, right? Yeah, I did a new logo. Death Squad, top 10, bitches. Top 10 on iTunes. Holla at your boy. Got as high as,

what is it, six? It was five the other day. Pow. Yeah. Coming up in the world, bitches. Ch-ch-ch. We got a... Doug Russell.

Let's wrap this bitch up let's bring it home we got a death squad show Friday with Doug Benson Doug Benson Mike Black at the Ice House Mike Black Andy

Nikki Davey Johnson nice nice nice and if you've never been folks the Ice House has two rooms it's in Pasadena, California

the annex is very small it's only 85 seats with a guy like Doug Benson that shit's gonna sell out quick so go to icehousecc.com. Is that what it is? Just icehousecomedy.com. Google that just in case.

Just go to Icehouse Comedy and just whatever. Google Icehouse Comedy Club and check for stage two. That's what you want to look for. That's this weekend. Can I say a show? I'm going to be at the Arlington Draft House in February. Look it up. I don't have the exact... Arlington, Texas? No, in Maryland. It's called the Arlington Draft House in February. Look it up. I don't have the exact – Arlington, Texas?

No, in Maryland. It's called the Arlington Draft House, and I'd love to see you guys there. Arlington, Maryland. Arlington Draft House is what it's called. Just Google it, Arlington Draft House. It'll pop up. And when is the date? It's the second weekend in February, I think.

I have to look at my calendar, but I just – Is that a place that you do on a regular? You've done it before? No, this is the first time I've done it. It's apparently in a – it's kind of like a movie theater. And I've heard great things about it. So I'm super psyched about going. That's fucking badass.

I can't wait. Who got you that gig? My booking guy at APA. Nice. That sounds like fun, man. Yeah, I can't wait. I did a movie theater. It was like the first time I ever did Washington, D.C.

They used to have that. They would have stand-up comedy and then they would have a movie after the comedy. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, it was a good gig, man. It was fun. I don't remember the name of it. So anyway, Duncan Truss will be with me

this Friday night at the Chicago Theater. It's almost sold out. There's only, I think there's less than 200 tickets left. Yeah. It's the most tickets

I've ever sold for anything. This is crazy. It's going to be nuts. We have to have big giant screens. We have to, they have to turn on these big giant screens

to watch it This place is huge It's an enormous awesome place So that'll be this weekend This Friday And then next Friday We're doing the House of Blues Same lineup bitches

Same lineup Joey Diaz Duncan Trussell And then after both nights We're going to watch some crazy shit We got some two crazy UFC cards Holla Awesome

So thank you to everybody that tunes in. Thanks to all the positive Twitter messages and all the cool shit. You know, the cool people outnumber the cunts by a staggering amount. There's so many more cool people out there that I'm connecting with because of Twitter, because of Facebook, because of this podcast, because of the internet. There's so many more cool people out there than anybody imagines. We just got to find each other. And so we're glad you found this.

We connect. We stay together. We grow. Party on. Hare Krishna. Party on. Thanks to the Fleshlight. Go to JoeRogan.net.

Click on the link for the Fleshlight. Enter in the code name Rogan and you will get 15% off number one sex toy for men. Eventually, I guarantee you, I predict, they will be sponsoring the Death Squad as well. The Death Squad's moving up in the world.

The Death Squad needs a logo. You need a sponsor, you get to talk to them. We're going to make this happen. It's a perfect fit. You guys have porn stars on with their own fleshlights. Yeah.

You know, just makes sense. You mean built in? No, they have a designed fleshlight. I have 17 podcasts now yeah

that's like so much podcast got a lot of podcasts the death squad is free on iTunes and it's the only place to get the ice house chronicles

which is a podcast that we do live from the ice house seriously it is to me the coolest fucking thing that we do it's so fun

we have a great time every week the last week we had Dane Cook on Bert Kreischer Ari Shafir, me, Kevin Christie, Brody Stevens, Nick Yusuf. It's fucking awesome. I mean, you know what it is? We have a room at the Ice House.

And so we have this stand-up show that's totally sold out, packed, little tiny, intimate, awesome room. And then the comics are rotating and going on stage from the podcast. And it's amazing it's the the most fun and the the most the closest you can get to like hang in with a bunch of best friends in the green room before we go up there and fuck shit up it's like the greatest podcast of all time i love the ice house chronicles the only way to get it though is you got to subscribe to death squad so go to itunes subscribe to get death, and get it. It's all free, of course. This podcast will always be free.

Death Squad will always be free. We will not charge you. Duncan Trussell, though, he'll charge you a couple bucks. And you know what? Pay him. For what? Pay him for your Lavender Hour. Bonus episodes, $1.

Pay him. It's not much. It's only $1. But the other ones are free. We do one free one a week. You can't get mad. People get mad at him. How dare you ask me for anything?

I've given you free stuff. You don't have to take. It's not like I'm saying you have to pay. You don't have to pay. You do whatever you want to. But if you want to, there's the possibility. I am talking, thank you for everybody asking, I am talking with my people about doing the

same thing that Louis C.K. did. I'm totally going to steal his idea and try to put out my next special just online like that. It just seems to make sense. Now that everybody has iTunes, so many people have Apple TV, so many people have Netflix.

I get more messages about my streaming special from 2005 on Netflix. I get more email about that particular special than anything I've ever done ever because I think more people are seeing it through Netflix. I don't know if they can get the last one, the Talking Monkeys in Space,

but the Netflix one, they made. They produced it. So I get, every day I get tweets about that, man. That's the future. The future is, Louis C.K. showed us the way. So I'm going to totally do what he did and release it that way. And buy my book. You got a book? Not yet.

It'll be out in two years. Get the fuck out of here. All right, you dirty freaks. Oh, next Friday, we're at the House of Blues. Okay? I said that already. That's it.

The show's over. Thanks to the flashlight. Thanks to Anna.com. Go to O-N-N-I-T.com. What's there? Mysteries. Mysteries. Mysteries of the mind.

Pills to change your focus. Yes. Mysteries of the mind. Pills to change your focus. Google nootropics. Go there. First 30 pills. If you don't like it, you get a money back guarantee. It used to be more, but the world's filled with cunts. Lemon party. That's just the way it goes. You could have invested $1 million and probably made

$30 million if you would have done that. In what? Bought that much pills then sold it on eBay. Should I do that? Yeah. I should totally rob myself. You should get invested. Just start ordering shit for myself.

Get rich from robbing yourself. All right, you dirty freaks. We love you from the bottom of our hearts. We can't say it enough. This is, it's hard to say goodbye. We don't know when to do it. I never know how to shut it off. Bye.

We're putting it out there. We're putting it out there. We're getting it from you. Thank you very much. We don't know when to do it. I never know how to shut it off. Bye. We're putting it out there. We're putting it out there. We're getting it from you. Thank you very much. We love you guys.