The Joe Rogan Experience - #1811 - Brendan Schaub

Episode Date: April 29, 2022

Brendan Schaub is stand-up comedian, former professional mixed martial artist, entrepreneur, and host or co-host of several podcasts, among them "The Schaub Show," "King and the Sting and the Wing," "Calabasas Fight Companion," and "The Fighter and the Kid." His new comedy special, "The Gringo Papi," premieres April 28 on YouTube. http://www.thicccboy.com/

the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day it's tough to keep up that nft shit yeah i bet i bet jamie's into it we're up and jamie's into it jamie uh is aware but you're not investing. You've got a few weird ones. You got more? I have one of the big ones. What do you got? I have a mutant ape. Which is not the biggest.

I'm not going to put it out there it's the biggest. One of the big ones. Okay, how's that a big one? Oh, by the way, this whiskey you have, this Tiger Thick, it's very good. Thank you, brother. I was surprised. Thank you. I was ready for some bullshit last night.

When you busted it out, I was like, because I got an offer. There was a thing that was going on with me. Cheers, brother. Very good to see you. I love you, too. Thank you. Great to see you. But I've been, you know people have like sent me stuff like try

this out would you like to get involved I'm like whoa I don't know it's I don't think this is good enough this is good this is legit it's like it tastes aged it tastes like which it is yeah yeah ten years Japanese aged whiskey it's the first blend of Japanese whiskey American bourbon it was three years just to get the licenses from the the alcohol companies in the United States was such a beast. And then you're talking about years of trial and error, trying what I like, what I don't. It was fun though, man.

You nailed it though. Thanks, brother. It's very good. Smooth. It's smooth, but it's different. Yes, sir. It's like, it's a different taste. I mean, I'm not like a whiskey wizard.

I don't really understand. Like, Barnett is. Barnett knows a lot about whiskey. Dude, he took a sip of it, and I was like, Jesus Christ. He's like, there's caramel. I'm like, what? What? Excuse me?

Caramel? Did I ever tell you the time I went on a fucking wine-tasting dinner with my friend Matt? No. My friend Matt's like a legit wine tasting dinner with my uh my friend matt no my friend matt's a like a legit wine connoisseur so much so that he he had a birthday and on his on his birthday he had this wine tasting dinner and you would get like a flight of wines with each plate so it was like a fancy restaurant so they bring like a little tiny little piece of something i've done like napa yeah trying and yeah it's not my thing man i can't believe you went to my thing yeah my friend it was his birthday i love him to death

so anyway i wind up uh meeting this guy there and then years later i'm watching this documentary about this guy that ripped off all these wine connoisseurs by taking cheap wine and blending it up and putting in fake old bottles. And that was the guy I met at the fucking wine party. Was it really? Yes. Yeah, and they couldn't tell the difference. They were saying the same shit with the cheap wine to the fancy wine.

The way this guy fucked up is, the movie's called Sour Grapes, and the way the guy fucked up is he ripped off one of the Koch brothers, which is not a smart move. Those guys got some capital, and they know how to move. This guy had bought, I think it was more than a million dollars worth of fake wine from him. Hilarious. Brian Callen's the same way.

He loves wine. But does he know it? Does he understand it? He really does. Don't get me wrong. He says a lot of bullshit to make us laugh, but when it comes to wine, he knows it.

And when I first started hanging with Brian, what was this, 10 years ago around LA, it'd be him, he hangs around smart people and I would feel so stupid and I'd hang out with him, but I'd watch him try wine and I'd pick up on things they would say, I'm like, oh, I'm going to use that next time. And so, dude, we're at Scopa, Italian roots in LA, and there's like all these fancy people, and they hand me the wine, and I'm swirling,

I have no idea what I'm doing, I'm just capping, I'm swirling it, I take a sip, I go, that's earthy, that is earthy. And it worked,

it is earthy, I was like, oh my God, you guys are fucking out of control. Earthy. That's my go-to, earthy. I like wine that tastes good,

I really can't put a i've been drinking wine for decades i don't know what's going on i just go you know what you like i like this this is good but to say this is funny with the whiskey it's crazy i have my own whiskey now i didn't drink my entire life dude being an athlete doing never nothing drugs didn't touch it college football didn't fucking touch it. And then, I don't know if you remember this. I was getting ready to do a set at the Comedy Store. And I was so nervous.

And I was in the back bar and you caught me. What are you doing? I was like, I think I have to follow fucking Joey Diaz. I get like the worst, you know, spot. And I was so nervous. And you're like, dude, take a shot. You put too much pressure. Take a shot.

I'm like, dude, I don't drink. You're like, just take a shot. It was like Jack, you know, nothing great. And then I took it and I was like, yeah, take a shot. You put too much pressure. Take a shot. I'm like, dude, I don't drink. You're like, just take a shot. It was like Jack, you know, nothing great. And then I took it and I was like, yeah, that's good. I enjoyed that. And I got there, had like my best set ever for me at the time. And then, you know, I believe in superstition. So then I was like, I'm just keep doing this.

Next thing you know, you know, I got a bomb. I get my own whiskey now. I drink every night. During the pandemic, I had a legit problem Because I got so into Yellowstone Oh yeah I'm on season two I just got in

Dude and Rip I got so into it Me and my girl every night would binge watch that I'd put on a cowboy hat I would go through a Bottle of whiskey at night I mean I would go through a bottle of whiskey at night. I'm surprised you didn't start looking at land in Montana. I did.

And we go on vacation there now because of that show. I wonder how many fucking people moved to Montana because of that show. It's not a small number. And I bet people in Montana are like, God damn it. You've ruined it. You've ruined it for us. Yeah, they're particularly um proud of montana like montana people are particularly proud and also like they claim montana this is our state i remember i went hunting there once and this guy wrote on someone's car something like in the dirt of someone's car like someone had like

foreign plates foreign meaning another state foreign and uh the guy wrote you know like fuck off from someone montana born and raised all right dude like just because the guy had a plate bro i've never gotten so much hate uh when i was uh where was i i was in spoken spokane but i stayed in cordelaine oh you crossed the line yeah you went over to idaho went wasn't it, which is like, you know, I don't know, an hour. And Coeur d'Alene, if you've ever been there, it's gorgeous. Gorgeous. Like the Kardashians over at KCF. They didn't like it.

Dude, it's an amazing place. During the height of the pandemic, out there, they didn't give a fuck. There was nothing, no masks, nothing. No, it's Idaho people. Dude, they didn't give a fuck. But I go back on my show the following week, and I was talking about Coeur d'Alene, how great it is. We've never got so many hate emails from people that live in Coeur d'Alene. Like, hey, bitch, don't be telling everybody, man.

We don't want all you guys here. Like, leave the place like this. Talking about wrong reaction, because now you're talking about it here. Now more people are going to hear. Yeah, now I'm getting more hate from Coeur d'Alene. Just don't read it. But also, be cool, Coeur d'Alene. You know what I'm saying? Be cool. It's Now I'm getting more hate from Coeur d'Alene. Just don't read it. But also be cool, Coeur d'Alene. You know what I'm saying? Be cool. It's a big

commitment to move somewhere, Coeur d'Alene. It's not like there's industry there. No one's going to move there. No. Come on. Be cool, man. Yeah. People move. They're like, some people live there already and then some people buy houses there for vacations and shit or they want to escape the law. And I love it, man. Dude, Montana.

Hawaii can keep it. Mexico can suck it. Really? It's fucking it, man. Dude, Montana, Hawaii can keep it. Really? Mexico can suck it. Really? It's fucking Montana, dude. Really? And Idaho. Oh, dude, you get on one of those.

Really, I love Coeur d'Alene, but as far as taking my family on vacation, we're like a dude ranch. We're riding horses. My son's doing archery and shit. I'm eating bison every morning. Wow. It's great. We went on a whitewater rafting trip in Montana.

It was fucking fun. It's the best. Yeah, like you're on this raft, and it's like wild shit, man. You get into some wild waters, and you've got to hang on. You're getting sprayed, and you're bouncing off these fucking rocks with these inner tubes. And your kids are with you, so you think about that. I did the same thing with my kids. Yeah, everybody's like wearing vests and everything like that, but I'm worried about bears more than anything.

I worry about bears. My thing was, there's a ton of bears. And water. Grizzly bears, right? Yeah. Yeah, up there. But the thing was, for us, they would come around, because it's not like a hotel. You're in your own little cabin.

Right. It's in the middle of nowhere, dude. Nowhere. Dude, they knocked on the door like, okay, just wanted to let you know there's a giant male moose on the property okay so just stay inside but if you are gonna go out just once you're aware i'm like the fuck male moose dude i you hunting shit so maybe we've seen i've never seen one in person yeah they're jurassic so i called i said hey this might be a weird request my kids they're dying to see it can we will you will someone pick us up and try

and find this thing like yeah sure they pick us up so it's me and my two boys and my girl and my father-in-law and we're going around and then the lights hit this fucking thing dude it's 10 foot tall from the fucking hoof to the horn yeah it was nuts man they're so big that's a fucking moose yeah like yeah daddy they're so big they're so big. I'm like, that's a fucking moose? Yeah. Like, yeah, daddy. They're so big. They're so big. And they're one of the rare deer species that will fuck you up. That's what the guy was like.

Oh, they're so aggressive. He's like, we wouldn't warn you if this was an issue. Depending on mating season or whatever, or whatever else is going on the property, obviously we can't control if they fucking stumble on the property. But depending on what's going on, they can uber aggressive yeah like it'd be a problem it's very rare that elk are aggressive but moose are very aggressive like all the time i guess it's just like the harsh climate that they live in i mean they live almost wherever moose are i think grizzly bears are well that's not true because there's moose in utah there's no grizzly

bears in utah there's moose in new hampshire no no bears out there but there's bears in utah though right black bears there's black bears yeah black black colorado there's black well there's there might be grizzly bears in colorado yeah they've they've they've um spotted unsubstantiated but my friend adam green tree spotted one got it on video. It was in the San Juan Mountains, and there's been more than one sighting in the San Juan Mountains. Of grizzly. Yeah, which makes sense because they do travel. They travel and they

find new territory. Someone just died. Some dude was out on his own hiking, and they couldn't find him, and then they discovered it was definitely because of a grizzly. Couldn't be a worse way to go. You've seen The Reverent, and when he gets to eat, you know, ass first. Dude, go for my face, man.

Don't eat me ass first. They just start eating you. They don't, like, kill you first. That's the thing about a big bear like that. They just hold you down, start chewing chunks out of you. Wet noses. At least a cat kills you. Yeah, right away.

Yeah, they just get your neck, and they want to be able to. They're efficient killers. Bears just start away. Yeah, they just get your neck, and they want to be able to, they're efficient killers. Bears just start eating. Brutal, man. Fucking brutal. What are you going to do? Not much. So you're only on season two, though, of Yellowstone?

Yeah, only season two. I'm jealous, dude. I just got into it. Because then you get done with that. You got season three, four, which is lit as fuck. Yeah. And then there's 1883 the prequel pre prequel right same writer taylor sheridan who's the best yeah he's the fucking man puts himself way too much into the episodes whatever which was who is he's the main like horse guy he's the one

selling the horses oh really yeah he's always on the horse yeah oh interesting and he's like sometimes he wrote it too yeah my only issue with that is sometimes it's too balls deep in the horse, which if you're like into that stuff, I bet people are like, oh, this is authentic. But if you're not, it's like, all right, dude, the horse stopping like in the fucking sand and shit, you know? And he's just so into it. But then that ranch was it? The horse people are nuts.

Super nuts. Was that 6666 Ranch? That's real. Like you'll see as the season, they start getting. Don't tell me anything. Well, I'm just Was that 6666 Ranch? That's real. You'll see as the season, they start getting- Don't tell me anything. Well, I'm just saying that 666 Ranch- You already fucked it up. I don't know what that ranch is.

You don't need to, but I'm saying- But you already told me. But it's a real ranch. But now I'm going to find out about it. No, no. I'm just saying it's going to make it even better for you because that's a legit fucking ranch. People who tell you spoilers always tell you that.

Oh, it's not going to ruin it at all. No, it's not going to ruin it. Have you seen the new- Speaking of spoilers, have you seen the new Batman? Yes, I saw that. It's great. I liked it. to ruin it at all. No, it's not going to ruin it. Have you seen the new, speaking of spoilers, have you seen the new Batman? Yes, I saw that. It's great. I liked it. I liked it a lot. Besides, I mean, The Dark Knight's the best of all time,

but to me, halfway through I looked at my girl, because we have kids who can't go to the movies. I looked at my girl, I paused, and I went, hold up. Is this not the best fucking Batman you've seen? It's a great Batman. It's so good. I thought it was the best one, but- It's up there.

I say that, and then I need to go watch the other ones again. Like with fresh eyes. Sometimes when something's good and you're watching it, you're like, oh, this is pretty good. You might get on the hype train. The costumes are a little whack. You think? See, I thought it was more realistic. Yeah, it's more realistic.

At least Catwoman, she owned cats. She wasn't going to be able to die nine times. She barely covered her face. Yeah. She was too hot. She didn't going to be able to die nine times. She barely covered her face. Yeah. She was too hot. And we thought- She didn't want to cover any of her face. Just a little tiny thing across her nose.

Yeah. But then also the Riddler- They showed most of her face. The Riddler was kind of silly. The Riddler was kind of silly. With the glasses. Yeah. See, the Riddler to me was so creepy because he related to all the incels and this mob and bring him to the fucking stadium and shoot everybody.

It's like, yeah, that could definitely happen. The problem with all those movies is you compare them all against the Joker. And the Joker movie was so fucking good and so creepy. The Dark Knight, you're saying, with Heath Ledger. Well, no, the recent one with Joaquin Phoenix. Oh, with Joaquin Phoenix? Yeah. That Joker is so good, but it's so creepy and such a good movie.

Todd Phillips just fucking nailed that movie. And Joaquin Phoenix is crazy as fuck. He's so good in that. He's so good. He must be insane. He must be like an absolute insane person. There's no way he could be that good playing the same person he's just so good dude it's so good but the point is like

though that movie's so goddamn good and the the bad you know the character so believable and they build it up so well like it's hard to appreciate some of the like you don't know the Riddler's background. It's also He's a bad guy But if we knew as much about the Joker like a much about the Riddler's we do the Joker And then they had that in a Batman movie like if they have a new Batman movie with Joaquin Phoenix as the Joker. Oh, that's gonna be insane. Did you see the new Joker? Like they so they flashed him just at the very end spoiler they splash They literally just flashed him right at the end. Yeah, but it's kind of blurry, but on HBO max

There's a deleted scene. Oh, and it's him with like the joke for like six minutes and dude fuck. It's good Oh really? It's good a deleted scene with just him and the Joker. Yes. Oh It's very like Silence of the Lambs. Remember where they use Hannibal to like Hannibal Lecter to catch the other fucking serial killers? Oh. Batman goes to him to give him the Riddler files like, I know you get off on this shit. Maybe you can help me out. And who plays the Joker?

I don't know. Interesting. But it's good, man. I like how most of the people were like people that you don't know. Interesting. But it's good, man. I like how most of the people were people that you don't know their name. Yes. Other than Robert Pattinson, most of the people were people you don't know. You don't know the penguin's name, but he's really good. That was Colin Farrell?

Yeah. How nuts is that? Jesus Christ. Really? Isn't that nuts? Couldn't tell. You know what? I actually knew that.

I forgot it. That's how good he is. Right? Oh, my God. The makeup's incredible. Nuts. Dude, think about the Batmobileobile batmobile's pretty dope that's uh that you know what that's so i saw the batmobile i'm like well look at that nuts that's incredible man and it wasn't all weird they do with him

yeah dude that that car scene with him and that that batmobile if you look up the batmobile that's actually the chassis of an old school Dodge Challenger. Yeah, I heard about that. Yeah. That thing's legit, dude. Yeah, old school Dodge Challenger, and then they did a bunch of off-road shit. Buy one, dude. Fucking get one.

Seems like it's a wide thing to park. Difficult to find a good spot. Dude, in Austin, you'd be fine. LA, I'd be fucked. Here, you're good, dude. Maybe. You're good. I don't need that in my life. No? Seems like a lot. It'd be fun. Here, you're good, dude. Maybe. You're good. I don't need that in my life.

No? Seems like a lot. It'd be fun. Yeah, I got enough cars. You wouldn't feel like an asshole in that, would you? I wouldn't. You think? No.

It's so loud. Yeah, I feel like an asshole in my Chevelle. Do you? In the Chevelle? It's so loud. But it's, you know, the world's turning to fucking Teslas, man, and electric cars. Yeah, but not totally. Like, this is why it's fun right now to have, man, and electric cars. Yeah, but not totally. Like, this is why it's fun right now to have, like, a muscle car.

Because it's like you know that this is, like, it's like going out when you're 36 and you're still single. It's like this is the last days. You know what I mean? This is it, man. This is it. There it is. Wow, look at that.

No, that's not it. That's not it, dude. What is that? Someone made one. Oh, look at that. No, that's not it. That's not it, dude. What is that? Someone made one. Oh, someone made one. No, but this one's actually a chassis off a fucking 68 Challenger, I think. Yeah, that one looks more like Christian Bale's Batman. Oh, like the tumbler, like that.

Like the tumbler thing or whatever. Yeah. That was dope. That was the Christian Bale one, the one with two wheels in the front. But the one that Robert Pattinson has is much more like Realistic that's right there. It's right above right above go above above Right there in the toy. No the toy go next to it. Go next to it. Go next to it No, the second one is right there that click on that. That's that's a toy, but that's what it is

That's what it looks like. That's off old-school chassis a Dodge Challenger. Or it might be a Dodge Charger. Either way, it's fucking ridiculous. It looks like a Charger. Yeah, it's so dumb. I think it's a Charger. But it's, it was cool. Like, the whole movie was dark and mysterious and shadowy. It was fun.

That was a little emo. Yeah, a little emo. A little emo. Yeah. But it worked. It worked. I love a good superhero movie. I'm corny.

You like Avengers and shit? Love it. You like Aquaman? I like it when they bring in the Hulk. Yeah, I like the Hulk. I like it when they bring in the Hulk. I didn't watch Aquaman because I'm not watching any movie with Amber Heard in it. I'll tell you what I am watching is The Trial.

Dude, it's the best reality show of all time. I think I need to spark a joint up before we're going to talk about The Trial. Do it, bro. Because I can't get enough of it. It's literally- of all time. I think I need to spark a joint up before we're going to talk about the trial. Do it, bro. Because I can't get enough of it. It's literally- It's amazing. It's fantastic. It's the best thing on TV.

At first, I was upset because I'll watch the news, and they interrupted Ukraine getting bombed in the middle of a war with Russia. It's like breaking news. Johnny Depp, Amber Heard. I'm like, oh, God, what are we doing here? I was like, let's see what's happening. I was like, oh, hell yes. are we doing here? I was like, let's see what's happening. I was like, oh, hell yes. It's exciting.

Sign me up, dude. It's a cautionary tale for people that were thinking that it's worth it to date a crazy girl because she's great in bed. No, this is my thing, though. How great is she in bed that she can shit in your bed? She can rip your fucking index finger off. She must be a real Tomcat in this act dude i think he's probably a really nice guy and he had great moments with her and he keeps going back to those great moments and thinking they can get past all this craziness

because johnny i don't know johnny well I've talked to him before but I know of his career and I know of his love of Hunter Thompson and he's close with uh Stan Stanhope yeah very close and that's how I know him that's how I've met him well I've talked to him I met him once personally in the comedy store but I talked to him on the phone for an extended period of time once when he was dealing with all this shit and I think think he's a really good guy. That's what I think. Yeah, I love him. I think he likes chaos, though. He likes doing cocaine. He probably likes doing things he shouldn't do.

Like, he probably likes driving fast. He's probably an animal in some ways. Like, he just loves, like, chaos. And I think that's one of the reasons why he loved Hunter Thompson. He loved a brilliant man who loved chaos. And that's what Hunter was. Hunter was this like brilliant writer who was a cultural commentator

who also enjoyed getting like obliterated. How long ago, Joe? How long are we talking? Well, Hunter killed himself in the early 2000s. Okay. After, what was it like, 2010, 11 or something like that? I forget what year he killed himself. Okay.

But Johnny was friends with him. Yeah. And Johnny played him in the movie, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Great movie. Yeah. He also narrated the Hunter Thompson documentary, which is, was it Gonzo life and yeah what's that died in 2005 mm-hmm yeah yeah I shot himself I mean he was hurting at the end he had hip replacements and he was constant pain and a life of doing drugs like

hardcore drugs and alcohol Obliterated his body so it's Johnny's Johnny Depp's North Star basically. Yeah, that's his that's his hero in a lot of ways I mean Johnny Depp is I I'm I Don't know the exact details, but he has a significant amount of hunter-thompson memorabilia like he bought a Significant amount yeah when the wife when hunters wife going to get rid of some stuff, Johnny stepped in and got it all. I'm a fan.

Johnny paid for Hunter's funeral. Oh, wow. It was millions of dollars. He built a cannon to shoot Hunter's ashes into the sky. And like, you know, he has this logo that's, I don't know if you've seen that Hunter Thompson for Sheriff poster that I have out there. He has a logo that's a fist with two thumbs, like a mutant fist that has a mescaline tab in the center of it. And that's his logo. Jesus.

And so he made a giant cannon out of this logo. And play this because this is Hunter talking about it they'll do it from the beginning weeks he's explaining to the the mortuary how he wants it's done it's hilarious so he's discussing his future demise yeah god this is dark. Yeah. And so... That is different. That is different. Yeah, so he just decided that he was going to do this, and Johnny Depp actually wound up doing it at his funeral.

Well, I mean, clearly he was going to blow his hat off, though. I mean, yeah, so this is him. I mean, this was a young hunter planning this out. God, that is dark. Yeah, and so when he got old and became friends with Johnny, I mean, Johnny's got all the fucking cash in the world. So he decided to just do it. So he spent millions of dollars building this fucking cannon

and shooting hunters' ashes into the sky. That Jack Sparrow, my man. I think that fucked him up too. Look at that's ashes into the sky. That Jack Sparrow, man. I think that fucked him up too. Look at that. That's the rocket. Jesus Christ. This is crazy that he actually went and did this. It's so dark. Music's all fun.

Johnny Depp is hilarious. Just the fact that he did that is a legend. He's a legend. Spent millions on it. I'm a fan, man. Look at this. Think how long Johnny's been famous too. He's a legend. Spent millions on it. I'm a fan, man. Look at this. Think how long Johnny's been famous, too. So he's going to be wired a little different. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, it's not good. It's like, the way I've described it is like getting famous when you're really young and then trying to be a fully grown adult is like making cement, but you don't use all the material and then it doesn't cure right. You don't grow up in a realistic world. No. Like, nothing's real. real yeah it's beyond that's ralph stedman the guy's drawing it he did all the hunter s thompson artwork he's brilliant artist and so he helped hunter design it i don't know

if he was but look at this this is the fucking canon i'm on team depth for life you hear me yeah me too team Depp Yeah, man I mean, I wish you wouldn't wear eyeliner But yeah, Team Depp And a little too many scarves, right? Right? I don't give a fuck Here's my thing

I don't give a fuck anymore He can do no wrong in my book I'm a Johnny Depp fan If I was younger, I probably would have criticized him for it Now I'm like, yeah, look at that There it is This is super dark It's a wild move, man The guy shoots his fucking ashes into the. This is super dark. It's a wild move, man.

The guy shoots his fucking ashes into the sky out of a goddamn cannon. It's a tough follow. It's a glowing fist. It's a tough follow. Yeah, how are you going to die? And all these people go to his fucking funeral. Bill Murray, who also played him in Where the Buffalo Roam, which is another fun Hunter Thompson movie. The guy was a writer.

Yeah. And two different big-time movie stars played him in movies. Jesus Christ. Johnny Depp and fucking Bill Murray. That's what a bad motherfucker Hunter Thompson was. Bill Murray has some anger issues, huh? I don't know, allegedly. Maybe someone was a cunt on the set. I agree, maybe they deserved it.

I like to hear both sides of the story. Yeah, man. There's people watching it from a distance. Yeah, my funeral will not be like that. Yeah, don't waste that money on me, man. That's people watching it from a distance. Yeah, my funeral will not be like that. Yeah, don't waste that money on me, man. I'm out. Yeah, I want to be buried without formaldehyde. I want to become a part of nature.

I don't want to be fucking filled up with some toxic shit that doesn't let you rot. No. But you want to be buried? Just throw me in the ground. No box. No box. Yeah, keep it organic, man. Just dig a deep deep ass hole and chuck

me in there no just just like i guess get like a what do you have a hennessy just get one of those big hennessy trucks and then have like uh your fucking boys your meaty boys your security just when i'm dead just throw my body off fucking laurel canyon and then just wherever it falls just let me go dude and then when you drive by, just fucking salute that part. You ever see the Tibetan Sky Funeral? No. That's the darkest. No, I don't watch funerals on YouTube.

Well, Tibetan Sky Funeral is not really a funeral. What is it? They're feeding you to vultures. Hard path. Don't do that. They take your clothes off, and they chop you up with machetes and hatchets and shit. They chop you up into chunks, and they leave you out there. So like you would have to chop up Callan in chunks

and leave him. Not just pull him, he's so old I just pull him like beef jerky, just like. You take chunks and leave it out there and there's all these, there's video and photos of it and it's, the idea is that you know you're dead and this is a way to incorporate you into the universe into nature it's natural to have you i mean i don't know if that's what their idea is maybe there's like some religious aspect to those vultures are

ready to go the vultures know about it the vultures about it. Because this is how they get rid of bodies. Vultures are bitches, though. Dude, give me something better. Like, toss me with the alligators or some shit. Something, like, gnarly, man. Lions. I fucking hate alligators. I don't want an alligator to eat me.

I'd rather have a bird. A stupid vulture? At least they can fly. They operate in 3D space. But also, dude. They're like swimming in the ocean, but it's the sky, and they can breathe in it. But dude, also, that can only happen with small Tibetan people. Nobody's carrying my big ass across the mountains to feed me to the vultures.

Well, they just get more people to do it. But isn't it interesting that nothing smart can fly? Is that true? Crows are pretty smart They're very smart But like humans and dolphins Are considered like, well we don't know though See the thing about crows is we always like to pretend

That we know exactly How smart something is based entirely On what it can do Like and crows can do some Really complicated tasks, they can figure out How to solve puzzles. But the thing is, they might be even smarter than that. Yeah.

They might be, like, devious. They bait shit in to feed, you know? Well, they definitely do that. They're smart with shit. They talk cats into fighting each other. You ever see those videos? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're cool, man. But, I mean, I wonder, like, if they have a language.

They probably have some kind of a language they can understand. Because they say dolphins and whales do too, right? They have their own language and shit. Complex. Yeah. We don't even understand how to decipher it. Here, crows are self-aware and know what they know just like humans. See, that's what I'm saying.

Almost no other species has that kind of higher intelligence. Wow. And they're fucking big too. Look what it says here. They get pretty big. In what now feels like an annual update, crows are even more surprisingly smart than we thought. But do they have true consciousness? New research shows that crows and other corvids know what they know and can ponder the content of their own minds, according to STAT this is considered a

cornerstone of self-awareness and shared by just a handful of animals animal species besides humans they got a bad rap too cuz I can all the movies they're like the evil that vilified because they're all black well it's also it's like they look evil they were they like the crow nose like this magic attached to in witchcraft, crows. Dude, when I'm on my bike, you know, back there in the fucking Santa Monica Mountains, there's some big ass crows, man. Yeah.

Big fucking crows. Well, that's how you find dead things. Find them hovering. Crows and rattlesnakes, man. Yeah. You find birds. But for sure, if there's enough vultures, you'd find vultures. But the vulture thing is a wild way to ensure that the body's going to be consumed.

But then the skeleton's still there, right? They smash it up. I don't know what happens to the skeleton. God, it's dark, dude. See if you can get some photos of it, of a Tibetan sky funeral. Because I remember this was one of those things that I first found out about in the early days of the internet you know like in the early days the internet where you like you would just get sent things and it would change the way you looked at stuff like what like the first thing i got was the daniel pearl oh that was awful i ruined my fucking week man that was awful that was an awful one yeah they caught those guys they call them the the beat what the isis beatles some shit those guys are is that the same guy yeah

the one guy was called an english accent he's fucked i didn't know that that was the same guy yep um so these uh these guys they it says don't take pictures why wouldn't you take pictures that's interesting what do you think they're there dude some random americans but i mean wouldn't you want this to be documented just to show because like what is wrong with making a photograph of something? That's kind of important in its How crazy it is in comparison of normal funerals. This is weird. The people are all Standing there and they're there. What are they doing? They shooing away the vulture with those rags? What are they doing? Yeah, not yet, boys.

Is that what they're saying? In this case, in this video this is on National Geographic, there's tourists that are coming to watch this. Damn, someone flew out there for this. Maybe they don't want them to do that. I don't know. If you were in town, though. Like, if you were in town, you wouldn't go see that? Like, if you just happened to be?

Like, you're doing a show in Tibet. Hey, man, I'm at one, dude. Hey, you know, Louis was supposed to be doing a show in Ukraine. I talked to him about it. That's wild. Dude, this is how wild of a boy he is because he was at the shop and friends at the improv, and he did a guest spot there, and he was in the green room.

First of all, I can't remember the last time when there's a comic on stage and all the comics in the green room walked out and watched somebody set i've seen at the at the store when you're on or burr you know joey diaz since then it's been years usually you just bullshit with your buddies you know in the green room and then when Louie was on literally everyone was on the staircase at the improv Hmm, and he just fucking absolutely Annihilated and not and then also I figured with you know what he went through kind of changes game up No, man, not at all. What not at all dude, and then maybe even better because now he's doing it like he's young

Maybe feel free coming again. Maybe he's like i got nothing else to lose fuck it yeah he comes back to green room he gets on his notepad he's writing what worked what didn't and then did the late show and made adjustments so cool to see so fucking cool to see but between the shows we were talking and uh he's like yeah it's weird you know he was like the the media's report and i'm still doing shows he's like i was down to do it even though they told me what was weird. He was like, the media's reporting. I'm still doing shows. He's like, I was down to do it, even though they told me what was going on. He was like, I was on a plane, dude, headed to Ukraine. And then I guess it got worse. Even then, they told me, hey, the fans are outside, man.

They're here. And he was like, even during this fucking, they're getting bombed. He's like, they're out here, man. Imagine if he did the show. Dude, then Louis goes, I'm still coming. But then the plane, he said, was like halfway and then turned around was like, but you know They told me they're there. I was he was like I'm still gonna do it I think you're such a savage dude Sean Penn was over there filming a documentary. He was over there for quite a while

That's weird though. Yeah Is it is it you don't like you want a good documentary or not? You gotta have a little ego Yeah, do you you want a good documentary or not? You got to have a little ego. Do you want a fucking good documentary or not? First of all, who knows how to make movies better than Sean Penn? Probably nobody. He's made some fucking amazing movies. Yeah. And the guy's got balls.

He has balls. He went down to fucking Mexico. Well, yeah, he went down to Mexico, and he's also the reason El Chapo kind of got busted, right? Kind of fucked El Chapo. It's kind of the lady's fault. But also the Rolling Stones get involved in this, and also El Chapo. What the fuck were you thinking? Rolling Stone magazine, yes.

Yeah, not the band. But the fact that he had the balls to go down and meet El Chapo, respect. Respect. Look, the guy's off-k right i'm a fan don't get twisted he's tilted yeah he's definitely like yeah he's a wacky dude yeah but he's the kind of guy that's willing to go to fucking ukraine in the middle of a war sean penn's meeting with el chapo was nearly his demise oh nearly sean penn's demise He got a lot of shit for that. In what way?

Well, he met with the biggest fucking cartel leader in the world. Right, but he met with him to do an article. Isn't that journalism? No, he met with him because El Chapo wanted Sean Penn to do the movie on him. No. That's why they met. That's why they met? Oh, that doesn't make any sense.

See if that's real, Jamie. They would have to do him the way they did the Penguin. There's no way he's going to really look like El Chapo. They'd have to give him makeup. I think he's going to direct it. He doesn't look anything like him. Oh, direct it. Making a movie with El Chapo. Penn was non-committal about making a movie with or about Guzman. He took the trip

to Mexico solely to interview the king for Rolling Stone magazine. That's what I thought. See, he just hadn't shared the details yet with Guzman, a man known for not enjoying surprises. Okay. So he went there to film, to do an interview, but he hadn't told Guzman that he was going to do an interview with him. Hold on. Read this.

This is where he fucked up. Is that what it says? Hey, this is where he fucked up, Joe. What? Look at this quote. This is hilarious. Today, I believe more in El Chapo than I do the governments that hide the truth from me. Where's it say that?

Right here. Oh, no. Oh, that wasn't. Don Castillo wrote that on Twitter. Oh, okay. Okay. Thank God. Imagine Sean Penn.

I was about to say, dude. If Sean Penn went that deep. Nuts. But listen, that guy's got my respect. He's got balls of steel. He went to Ukraine in the middle of the war. I don't care respect he's got balls of steel he went to ukraine the middle of the war i don't care if he's a gigantic movie star i don't care if he's you know he's a wacky hollywood elitist the guy went to fuck some balls i agree balls like steel and then on top of that

meeting el chapo more balls the guy's got balls you got to give it to him yeah the el chapo thing though balls but also like yeah i guess it's scary as shit the guy murders it's so many people the el chapo thing's all balls you're going to a mexican drug kingpin's house but not not just any drug kingpin the drug kingpin yeah the most famous one savage being his you know el chapo he Del Castillo, I believe, is the woman in this scenario. She's the soap opera actress. Who had a relationship with El Chapo, they say. Yeah, El Chapo was a fan of her performance.

Yeah, so when she said that, that makes sense. Dude, I was at a, my girl, she used to work for Telemundo or Television, one of the things. And I was at an award show. She's supposed to get this award. And that girl was there. And this was right around all that was going on. And I saw her and I was like, oh, I'm going to pick with her and say,

jealous, El Chapo? And my girl goes, do not do that. I was like, oh, it'd be funny. She's like, no, it's not funny. I'm telling you, it would not go over well. Yeah, all it would take is one dude once we hit a point. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

They play by different rules. And it's right there. You can drive there from San Diego. It's not far. Not far at all. And it's essentially run by drug lords. But also because you cut the head off the snake there with El Chapo, now it's just mayhem, dude. I don't know enough about the politics of the cartels.

Oh, I do. To comment on that because they fight a lot, right? Oh, I do. Do you? Yeah, because me and my girl and the kids were just in Mexico. You know, I stress out about it. I was like, let's go to San Diego, man. Right.

Like if something happens, at least I can call some people. Like Mexico, we're fucked. My anxiety when we were there, dude, was I couldn't sleep. Yeah. I couldn't sleep. Couldn't sleep. Yeah. And then the last night we're there, we go to dinner.

And I haven't seen this the whole time we go to dinner. And we're walking back. And one of the guys who works here greets us. He goes, I'll walk you back to your room. I'm like, oh, that's nice. But I see behind me there's a dude in all camouflage carrying an AK-47. And I keep saying, I'm like, what the fuck is going on? I'm holding my son. I'm like, oh, that's nice. But I see behind me there's a dude in all camouflage carrying an AK-47. And I keep saying, I'm like, what the fuck is going on? I'm holding my son.

I'm at Boston. He's two. So I'm holding him like this. I'm like, I'm going to put him down just in case something pops off. So I'm like, why the fuck is this guy falling? So my girl's up in front of me, so I don't say anything because I don't want her to be stressed out. So we get back to our little place, and we go in there. And then I didn't say anything because

i didn't want to alert the family and the next morning i go hey when uh homeboy comes back in here because he only spoke spanish um i go ask him why that guy with ak-47 was following us last night she goes what and i didn't want to tell you but there was a guy following us back to the room so she talks to him because he's following us and as we get close to our little villa He just disappears into the bushes literally just walks on a different path and she asked him he goes Oh, there's a high-profile Celebrity on the property and when he comes here he hires his own security. Oh shit, and I was like what? That guy that dudes that scared. Holy she does he know that i don't know man yeah jesus my girl got mad because i was like you know they're kidnapping people she's like who the fuck

didn't kidnap your big ass i was like you never know man you never know isn't it funny she's talking shit about kidnappings kidnappings are real me no they're real like for sure real they really do with americans they're really really good though about the tourists and resort towns for the most part They're not right now though Joe like in Cancun and Where's the main place people go that fuck a poco? No Pogo some shit Well, no that shit where you know where people go and they do weird shit to loom to loom to loom two people just died They're yeah, they do drugs. Yeah, people got caught up in a crossfire right did you hear why because uh again it's you know they're they're battling for that territory and when americans tourist comes they want drugs so it becomes a big drug hub well the cartel

provide the drugs so i guess they went to the main tulum like hotel restaurant and shook down the owners like yo dude cool we're gonna take this much of a percentage and we're gonna run this area he's like nah get the fuck out of there like all right cool say less dude and then they come back and there's you know it's the nice place of tulum cartel members like fucking margaritas and taquitos or the fuck so they're chilling with the regular tourist another gang sees them they just open fire and then two americans die jesus christ yeah so you know i think but for the most part and i i did talk about this and we got emails where people were like, dude, you're more likely to get shot in LA, Detroit and Chicago

than you are in Mexico. Like Mexico is way more safer. I get that, but I know how to navigate Chicago, Detroit and LA. Right. I don't know how to navigate. You speak English. Yeah. Sort of.

You sort of speak English. Sort of. I mean, I'm not Jordan Peterson, but you know I'm not great. I'm not a black man I always wonder what I watch you how often you have one of them little tobacco things in your mouth every time right now You got one. Oh, yeah, because it always looks like you have like dental work. Yeah Yeah, just remind me one of them things. Yeah, you got it brother. Is it a real problem these things? I love them rogue shout out to rogue nicotine. Did you know anybody with mouth rot? No, you're not gonna get cancer from these that what are you a doctor the fuck kind of statement is that? I love them. Shout out to Rogue Nicotine, dude. Do you know anybody with mouth rot?

No, you're not going to get cancer from these. What are you, a doctor? What kind of statement is that? With your sticker right here? They are addictive. Is that good? Yeah. This one's berry. This is a new flavor of berry.

I love them, dude. Oh, dude. You won't find a more intense flavor. Listen, I don't... You want one, Jamie? Sure. Yeah, come on, dog. I'll get you some.

Dude, I don't know if it's because I got COVID. I'm just getting older, but I like intense shit like coffee. Yeah, you had COVID. You can't smell anything anymore. I can't taste anything. You need to be poisoned. Dude, spicy stuff, it can't get spicy enough for me. Oh, I love spicy.

Yeah, I love spicy now. This is not bad. This is honestly no bullshit, all jokes. No, better yet rogues that you get it like a buzz like a cigarette buzz yeah because you know how like some comics of smoke cigarettes for they go on stage this I do you know I'm not gonna smoke I physically can't smoke a cigarette you think that is better for you maybe yeah hundred percent hundred percent everybody thinks those vapes are better for you who's everybody David Lucas Who's everybody? David Lucas.

Well, first of all, David Lucas is on tour with me. I call him Vape Daddy. At all times, he has six vapes on him. Yeah, he has a lot of vapes. I'll take a hit of it, but he has literally like fucking- Yeah, he's got extras. He just always has vapes on him. He pulled a fresh one out for me to try yesterday, and I took it in.

I was like, is this actually better than smoking? No, it's worse for you. Is it worse? Yeah, it's worse for you. Is it worse? Yeah. It's more condensed, like concentrated nicotine. I'm not sure. No, I am, Joe. I'm telling you.

Look that shit up, Jamie. I'm telling you, it's way worse for you than smoking cigarettes. That's what they say. I do know of a young man who got pneumonia who vaped every day, and he wound up dying. Oh, wow. I do know of that. It was a young guy, and he was a chronic vapor. I mean, all day, every day and he wound up dying. Oh, wow. I do know of that. It was a young guy, and he was a chronic vapor. I mean, all day, every day.

And he had one of those box ones, you know, those thick ones, you know, lunchbox. Almost like a small VHS tape. And they're blowing just giant clouds out of his thing all the time. They smell nice, too. But their problem is they market to kids, so there's like a Fruit Loop one. There's like a Fruity Pebbles one.

They're fucking tasty. How good is David Lucas, though? At comedy? He's hilarious. He's one of my favorites. He's one of the best guys ever at roasting, like back and forth, like with Tony Hinchcliffe. Dude, he lit Tony up last night in the green room with his coat. He looked like a gay puffer fish.

He goes, I bet you blow up if I touch your ass. He's like off-the-cuff comments on tony are some of the best i've ever heard when we're on the road and there's a heckler he again he's the guy will come out the green room like yes oh heckle him do it see what happens fucking heckle him you know because chapelle's not on the road with me anymore man chapelle chapelle lacy chapelle lacy yeah sorry chapelle lacy who we both love. Yeah. I love him. Yeah. He also left the fire and kid. What's he doing? He just focused on his own show, which is on thick boy network. The, the Chappelle, Chappelle's thick boy network. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have my own like alley version of what you have here, but it's all my shit. Yeah. All my staff, everything. But, um, yeah, it's great, man. But

Chappelle, he's so funny because when he first came on the road with me, I told him, I said, hey, the goal here is, you know, you get so popular, you're headlining your own shit. That's how this should work. I don't want you

to just be my feature. Right. And probably about, I don't know, six months ago, seven months ago, he's all nervous. You know, Chappelle,

he's like the nicest fucking guy in the world. And he goes, hey, man, I can't do that date in Tacoma with you. I'm like, what the fuck? What do you got? A fucking, you know, he plays in a band or some shit like a band he's like no no i you know i'm starting to get headline gigs i'm like dude this is great like you're doing your own thing dude this is this how this should work so chapelle's doing his own thing man headlining crushing it he's gonna focus on his own podcast

and now you know hopefully david luke's the next guy. You know, and David has it, man. He's a beast. I can't. Too much for you, Daddy? Too much? Did you give up too? You took out too? Bitches, bro.

Maybe it's the COVID. Maybe your sense of taste is fucked. No, dude. It's enhanced. Dude, and I've been carnivore. It's a lot. I've been carnivore. I know you gave up on carnivore. Your boy's been carnivore for what, since fucking December now?

I didn't give up on it. I just added fruit. And occasionally I cheat. Like occasionally I have a piece of pizza. Occasionally I'll have some bread, but not much. The vast majority of my diet is just meat and fruit. We're the same. I don't do fruit.

It's literally just meat. And then I'll cheat. I took my kid to the movies when I saw bad guys and whatever, there's popcorn or something I'll share with him. I don't be the weird dad. Right.

And then I do that show Food Truck Diaries. So you can't be on a diet on that fucking show. You have to eat tacos and shit. Or fucking barbecue. So I'll cheat on that when the fighter's on.

But other than that, I'd say 98% of the time, carnivore. Unless I cheat on the show. For me, the big other than that, I'd say 98% of the time carnivore, unless I cheat on the show. For me, the big change adding fruit was workouts. My workouts are better. I eat fruit in the morning before I work out. And I was doing a lot of fasted workouts before.

And fasted workouts are fine. But I really do think I get a little extra juice. I bet. From the sugar? Yeah, if I have some fruit. So that's all I ever eat in the morning is fruit. The best I've seen you look, I would say. Thank you.

And also Jamie, too, man. I know I was talking shit before I came in here. Living a good life out here in Texas, bro. You boys are crushing it. This is what freedom looks like. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Dude, it's so weird with comics in LA and then the comics here.

It's not a LA versus Austin. They're making it. Why? A lot of these LA people are mad we left. Dude, the LA scene's back and popping, dude. I'm sure it's great. It's great. People get FOMO, man.

Everybody gets FOMO. They get fear of missing out. It's normal. When someone leaves and goes and looks like they're having too much fun, it's always, fuck that guy. It's normal. When someone leaves and goes and looks like they're having too much fun, it's always, fuck that guy. Yeah, I guess because of Instagram and social media, because I don't see Instagram or social media, but I assume you post cool shit, so people are like, ah, fuck. I don't even hardly post anything.

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, not about that. I mean, occasionally I post stuff about our shows and stuff we're having. Once your club opens up, though, talk about FOMO. But it's going to be a good thing. It's going to be a good thing for comedy. It's a two-hour flight from L.A.? What are you guys crying about?

It's a good thing for comedy because we're just trying to help comedians get out there. We're trying to give people a great place to perform where they're supported and they're taken care of and make them feel comfortable. You can have fun there. And it's an art form, man. It's an art form that doesn't get the respect of other art forms It doesn't get the respect that music gets Or that literature gets You don't think so now?

No, it doesn't I think some of you guys do The process doesn't get any respect The process of developing as a musician Like if you're classically trained You can go to schools You can go to Juilliard You can learn music

You learn how to read beethoven you learn how to compose you learn how to you know play ancient songs you don't get learn shit as a comedian you figure it out all in yourself it's all on you and you if you don't have good comedian friends it's hard to know what the fuck's the right thing to do or the wrong thing to do. Without these interviews with George Carlin, when we looked into his writing process, or without... I would love to... Imagine if there was a three-hour conversation with Richard Pryor about how he does stand-up. That'd be good, but the game's changed now. It hasn't changed.

It has a little bit, Joe, because you talk about a three-hour process of Richard Pryor and how he got to where he's at, and you look at the game now. What about a three-hour fucking conversation with you or Bill Burr? Yeah, that would be great. Or Kevin Hart. But the thing is you can have that. If you took all the times I've ever talked about stand-up on this podcast, you would have more than three hours. The point is Richard Pryor was doing it when no one knew how to do it huh and that he's like one of the most revered artists of all time but his actual process of how he created that it's kind

of unknown I mean we know that he worked with Paul Mooney you know that he like he had writers and other comics he bounced stuff off and he did a lot of workout sets, and he would have these ideas, and he'd flesh them out, and he'd work them out on stage. We know about all that, but to hear him talk about it would have been fucking amazing. But don't you think it's interesting, too, like, you know, if you talk about a comics process, like some comics like to write it all out, and some comics are just chaos where nobody's going to relate to it. But I think that's why there's not that kind of blueprint for it, it was different. And that's the same thing with, I don't think UFC fighters get the accolades

that these other athletes do, because there's no path. You're not going to college to a scholarship at Duke and then go to the NBA. Like you made it, everybody makes it different ways. You made it as a wrestler, you made it as a jiu-jitsu guy. Or you came up with the ultimate fighter or Dana White's Contender Series. So they don't get the same accolades.

I think it's similar with comedy. It's like everybody's different. But I think why I was so fortunate when I got in the game and I was surrounded by you and Bert and Tom and D'Elia and Theo and especially really, because people go, oh, Brandon, your work ethic. I'm like, dude, work ethic? You're the North Star. You're the standard for work ethic. You and Bill Burr.

You look at Bill, you look at you. So I think it's like, that's working, man. And your blueprint, I think, is going to be easier for people to digest, if that makes sense. Because you're not crazy. Does that make sense? No, I know what you're saying. You approach it more like a professional athlete. Yeah.

And you have to. You have to approach it like a professional. But sometimes a professional is just a nut. Like some professionals are like professionally – like Kennison. You would never get him to do it that way. You'd never get Joey Diaz to approach it. is just a nut. Like some professionals are like professionally, like Kennison, like you're never going to get, you would never get him to do it that way. You'd never get Joey Diaz

to, like everybody has their own way of doing it. But the point is that there's, there's a way to parse that out. It's not that you would teach a blueprint of how to do it,

but there's a way to parse out all the ways. If you looked at the way Gilbert Godfrey created standup, you look at the way David Tell creates stand-up there's a way that we can at least get some lessons there and develop a study on it because what stand-up is is a kind of a form of mass hypnosis that most people love most people love to go to a comedy show and laugh hard if you've gone to a comedy show and you saw one of your favorite comedians and they had a great set you walked out of there like oh my god that was

amazing like you just took a drug like you you see people piling out of theaters and they're just laughing and they're having so much fun you you gave them a drug for as long as you were on stage and that that in its final form like you know comedians sell out arenas and comedians have Netflix specials that are huge. But in terms of the way people understand how that was created, there's almost no support. And it's hard for people in the beginning to even figure out how to get going. Isn't that what makes it great? I don't mean to interrupt you. No, you're right.

Isn't that kind of cool? Part of it's good. Part of it's good. Part of it's good. But it would be better if once you got to a certain level of proficiency you were helped along. And I think that's what we can do here in Austin.

I think what I want to do with the mothership is have this place where you can work out and you can learn and you can be around and we can all like help each other because you're going to be around these killers you're going to be around guys like sagura you're going to be around guys like hinchcliffe you're going to be around these fucking murderers that come in from out of town tim dillon and tim dillon's murderer and you you

around that you absorb all this shit derrick's out here too. Derek Post is out here. Derek Post is one of my favorite people. He was on the road with me for two years. Animal. Animal. Funny as fuck. He's the best. But Joe. He's out here. But you, and I think what you're doing in Austin is going to be great and it's going

to, you know, you build it, they will come, especially you. But you did that in LA, brother. You did that for me, man. You gave me a fucking career. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Well, that's why I learned how to do it. I learned how to do it in LA because it was like the store was the place where people

were doormen or parking lot attendants and waitresses and shit and they wanted to be comics and that's how they got their job there and they went all the way to being professionals and they were always with us. We've had relationships with people there from the time, like Ari and I were friends when he was a doorman and now he's a pro. Duncan. Duncan was the guy who used to answer the phone when you would call and give in your dates. David Lucas was a door guy.

Yes. But that's what I took from you. Like if there's anything, and I'm super grateful and I almost feel like my career is make a wish when they find out I don't have mental issues. Get the fuck out of here, dude. But like the thing I learned from you, it's like now with my platform, not as big as yours, but it's not bad, I give back. Yeah. Right? Chappelle Lacey.

You're following the blueprint. Little Browz, this white rapper who creates all the music for all my promos, and he's so fucking talented, man. That's awesome. It's nutsos. That's beautiful. That's good. You're helping. Yes.

That's good. That's my job there's something to that that is like it's very enriching for you too you know it's it doesn't just help those comics that you're giving a boost to it helps you like it that's the thing that people think about um philanthropy they think about like charity work or doing something good for someone or being kind and generous they think about it like wow you're giving so much but you get something out of it too you get a you feel great you're it's the universe wants to reward someone who tries to do better and tries to make people around them better and tries to get better because of those people around them that are better and tries to

celebrate all the people that are better than them. It's also the right thing to do. It's the right thing to do. Especially if the people have the chops. They just haven't been introduced to the fan base. There's quite a few of those. Yes. There's so many.

Yeah. That's the thing I'm learning. There's so many. And some of them would have quit before. Agree. And because of the internet, they don't have to quit. Yeah. The internet is opening up a path where these guys are going to get promoted

where maybe they wouldn't fit in on a late night talk show agree maybe they wouldn't get cast in a sitcom or maybe netflix passed on economy central but for whatever reason they can find their niche and people are gonna you know vibe with it you know that that's why i did and i'd like your thoughts on it it's like with my special the plan was to have my team shoot it and then sell it and that you know to all these major networks. I'm not calling anybody out, but I'd meet with everybody. You name it, I met with them, man. They made offers, and I'd go, okay, what can you guys do?

They'd give me a list. Then I'd call my team and go, hey, how much is it to this? Can we do this? And they'd give me all that. I'm like, I feel like I can fucking do it, man. And for me, it's like where I'm at in my career, I need the most eyeballs possible. It's not a paycheck. It's not about money'm at in my career, I need the most eyeballs possible. It's not a paycheck. It's not about money in any facet.

I just need this out as many people that they can see and see how hard I work at this. Yeah. You're going to see a giant improvement in your set. If people saw your first one to now. The first one, I would have probably tried to talk you out of it, but I already talked you out of fighting. And I was like, I can't talk him out of this too. Yeah, no. But you could have.

And Showtime. And Showtime. It's insane. But Showtime was willing to do it. And like, they were going to give you money. I'm like, what am I, what the fuck am I going to do? But it, I wouldn't, I don't regret anything, but at the time, and you know, and I think it's funny too, you know, when I talk to fighters because of, it my own perspective here even in comedy like dude. There's no rush man, right?

It's a fucking marathon not a sprint. Yeah, like you're gonna get this stuff and say I just had a lot too early you don't want it too early and it's also like You know Even on the road. It's like you know they're pushing me into theaters now. I'm like, no, no, no, hold on. I'll get there. I'm good, man. I need the reps in clubs. I like clubs. Clubs are great.

And I think, to me, it shows that I'm maturing as a stand-up. And it's just like, give me time, man. Don't force this. We've been real fortunate to have Vulcan in town so that we work out here all the time. So we're always working out in clubs. So even if I'm doing arenas, I'm working out working out in the material clubs i think that's the best diet i think stand-up has to be kind of like crossfit you got to do like a small crowd sometimes you got to do like a you know a belly room type 90 seater crowd yeah and sometimes you got to do you know you don't have

to ever do the big places the big places are wild, but it's just like, you know. It's a different animal, right? 14,000 people in a circle around you is fucking bananas. It's great. It's fun. We had a great fucking time in Fort Worth last week. Also financially it makes a lot of sense too if you can do that. You make a lot of money, but the show is a different kind of thing.

The roars of the laughs are insane. when you crush in front of that many people It's why the timing's different to you have to like completely pace yourself more because they can't hear there's so many people laughing And there's so many people in the room. You're not doing crowd work like is none of that Yeah, I can't pick on a person from front row because the guy in the fucking occasionally some shit goes down Yeah, but in general when I was in Boston some lady with blue hair was yelling at some guy to stop being racist like in the middle of my show i was like what is going on and you acknowledged it yeah i had to i was like i was closing i was like getting in and i'm at the fucking boston garden it's a sold-out show it's my hometown yeah coming home i saw the fucking garden and the end of my set, set's going great. This lady is

yelling, fuck you, fuck you. And she's standing up and pointing at him. I go, what is going on? People are great. They were great. And she goes, tell that guy to stop being racist. And I said, I go, I forget exactly how I phrased it, but it was something sent of,

I normally would just accept the fact that this guy had probably done something wrong if it wasn't for the color of your hair. I think you might be susceptible to outrage. I was like, you might be a little bit more complainy than most. Man, you're a boo. I don't know what happened. I'm like, we're wrapping this up.

I'm bringing this thing home. Yeah. You hear fucking Burrs playing Fenway. That's amazing they just announced it this morning he'll sell that out yeah he's a hero in boston bro they they put they put him on the broadcast during the the red sox game oh my god really dude he just fucking goes in on derrick jeter and canadians it's so fucking funny you can tell they didn't know what to do they're like uh well see he's a guy that can do that like remember when dennis miller did

monday night football yes and got so much shit for it because he tried to do. They're like, uh. Well, see, he's a guy that can do that. Like, remember when Dennis Miller did Monday Night Football? Yes. And got so much shit for it. Because he tried to do jokes. Yeah. He had like a bunch of jokes written, baby. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. It wasn't organic.

It wasn't organic. Yeah, that's the problem. Like, somebody talked to me about that, and they were saying, like, is it hard to do comedy and commentate for the UFC? I'm like, is it hard to kiss your daughter on the cheek and then hang out with your buddies and high five? No, it's two different things. Completely different.

And you're not trying to crack jokes. Right. I mean, you're a funny guy by nature, so if something pops off, whatever. People have all kinds of layers to them. There's people that are sweet to their grandmother and they're rough on a guy at work that's a dick. You're different no matter what you're doing.

There's some hell's angels out there, great dads. And then they've got to collect money, dude, and break some legs. That was the thing in Goodfellas, right? Joe Pesci? Yeah, Joe Pesci. He was always like a great dad. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, his kid.

Yeah, that's right. But the point is, I don't ever fucking try to be funny. I'm just trying to talk and not sound stupid and try to bring life to it. Yeah, I'm just going to do what I do. And if you guys think it's funny, cool. But I'm not trying to be funny. I never come on epoxy. I better be funny this time.

That's the thing, man. We used to do these radio shows, and they would say before you go on stage or before you go on air rather a producer came back stay I don't want to name the show but they're good guys they came the producer comes back stays in LA no and producers like okay so what topics are you gonna cover so they could lead you into them I go what are you talking about what like we're just gonna talk and the producer goes what no you have to do your bits I go listen man I go listen man I'm not doing my bits. There's nothing worse. He shakes his head and looks at the sky

and just walks out of the room like this fucking loser. I'd be like, bitch, I'm a professional, dude. I'm not fucking Ryan Seacrest. We can't just talk. We can't just talk. You don't think we can have something interesting about the fact that I'm in town for the UFC and a comedy show at the local comedy club.

You don't think that we can find something to talk about? I think I'll be all right, man. I'll talk for a living. I'll navigate my way through it. Let's just talk. You don't need to know. Funny thing about the zoo, Bob. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Did you say Chili's? The thing about Chili's. Yeah, it's like, come on. That's what all those late night shows essentially did. I don't know if they still do it that way because I haven't done one in forever. That's what all those late night shows essentially did. I don't know if they still do it that way because I haven't done one in forever.

But like if you did stand up on one of those shows, like you showed them your set. They went over it with a fine tooth comb. They changed a lot of it. They would cut out bits. Four minutes clean. Yeah. You have to be super clean. Yeah. And then if you went to sit down next to like Johnny Carson, like I don't know how Johnny

Carson did it, but I know that like some of those late night talk show guys, they would have very specific things they'd want to talk to you about you know like, so I heard you started riding a bike in your neighborhood how's that going? finally you brought that up Jay I'm glad you brought that up man so you'd have to do this like corny bit

that was back then though but then also with Johnny right, if you crush it he'd call you over to the couch, that was a big deal that was back then though yeah but then also with johnny right if you crush it he'd call you over to the couch that was a big deal that was the deal and now there's like there's no late show that does that now like that's gonna blow like guys careers just got blown the fuck up from it there's nothing like that yeah you know you're the closest thing johnny carson now yeah yeah yeah you know that but that's okay i like that job i I like helping. There's guys like Dan Soder or Norman or Shane Gillis. I do this podcast on a regular basis with Shane Gillis, Ari Shafir, and Mark Norman. Yeah, my favorite.

We call it Protect Our Parks. Yeah. This is the most ridiculous podcast. Last time we did it, Shane drank 14 beers. 14? No, 15. 15. It was 15 at the end.

15 beers. 15 fucking beers. I love all those guys. Who the fuck drinks 15 of It was 15 at the end. 15 beers. 15 fucking beers. I love all those guys. Who the fuck drinks 15 of anything? Shane Gillis does. How about drinking 15 Diet Cokes? That would be insane. You'd probably die.

Have you done that? Me and Donald Trump do that every day. But I mean in a row. He's got a stack of empties. I'll drink 10 Diet Cokes a day. Norman is the lightweight. He dabbles. He pretends he drinks and doesn't get too fucked up. Ari gets... He goes in. We get... Ari goes in. Ari and I get the light cook today. Norman is the lightweight. He dabbles. He pretends he drinks and doesn't get too fucked up.

Ari goes in. Ari goes in. Ari and I get high. Norman doesn't even get high, right? No, not really. I don't think so. No, he doesn't. So it's me and Ari.

Me and Ari are baked and we're drunk. Shane's old school. Shane was coming to LA and he hit me up. We're boys and we talk back and forth. And then he goes, I don't think he knows that I have kids. He's like, dude, you want to go to a bar, like a sports bar, and grab some beers? I'm like, bitch, it is. It is Wednesday at 6 o'clock, dude.

My kids go to bed at 7. He's like, yeah, so? I'm like, no, I'm not going to a fucking sports bar, man. He goes in. To watch game six of the fucking Yankees or whatever it was. He's just old school, dude. But he has started working out again. You know, because he was a football player. He was jacked at one point in was. He's just old school, dude. But he has started working out again.

You know, because he was a football player. He was jacked at one point in time. He was a big athlete. Yeah. And he just got sloppy for a long time. I think he played football

in high school and then one, I think he walked on to Army or some shit like that, right? I don't know the full extent. And I think he got there and was like, fuck this.

He's like, this is what it is? I'm out, man. Yeah, I don't know the full extent of his athletic career. He's hilarious, though. But I do know that he's working out again so he's looking great like he's losing weight he's his muscles coming back maybe grab his arm the other day i was like dude it's getting

bigger dude it's jacked like because it's muscle memory that's the thing about a guy who was big at one point was he that big was he jacked or i mean he was a athletic football player i don't have a photo of him that I beat off to. I'd like to see it, though, you know? In his underwear? Yeah, I'd love to see that shit. Because there's always guys that wrestle or play football that aren't in good shape. No, yeah.

It's like, were you actually playing? There's a fine line there. Right, right, right. Where was I? Oh, I was doing Chrysler's podcast last week. Yeah. I don't know what people do. He goes, oh, dude, you like this guy?

Oh, you like? Dude, he wrestled. He wrestled. I'm like, oh, shit, what are you talking, Oklahoma State? Were you on the national team? What are you talking about? And he goes, oh, no, in high school. I looked at Bert and went, that doesn't count, Bert.

He goes, why don't you go? I played basketball in high school, man. You can't call me a basketball player. There's levels to this game. Well, it's the thing when they bring you in and you have to talk to somebody that has a casual understanding of the thing. And it's like, okay, we're talking about a different thing here. Yes. I was on a podcast once and they had a guy that was like their security guy.

And their security guy was a fake karate guy. and a security guy was a fake karate guy. And I kind of had heard that maybe some of the stuff that he had done was full of shit. This is not a small show either. Yeah. And so I'm on the show, and this was like during the days when I first started commentating for the UFC, and he starts talking about how the stuff they do is for the street. Do you know how much that makes my fucking blood boil? It's triggering for me.

It makes me so angry when someone says the stuff we do is for the street. See, I won't let that slide, though. I didn't let it slide. No, no, no, no. I'll be like, hold on, hold on, hold on. Go back. You know? We'll talk it through.

Like, I was on your boy, what, Patrick David Bett? Mm-hmm. Patrick Bett David. Yeah. yeah Patrick bet David he has a great car collection by the way oh he's awesome I love that he's great love that guy one of my favorite people I love that guy I did his show and he's brilliant he's yeah I think that Miami super nice guy to the nicest I text you before my hey see cool he's great the best but he does a show with two co-hosts and they kept saying yeah but people do it to me all the time whenever I'm doing press. This guy's an athlete.

They kept saying athlete, athlete, and I went, hold on, hold on. It's triggering for me. Hold on. I think we're a little too loose with the term athlete. What's your definition of athlete? I think ours are different. And I'm not shaming anybody. You're talking about elite athletes, like high-level college athletes.

Where I was at. So if you're going to throw this term around, know who you're talking to. It's like if you're in a room with Jordan Peterson or Elon Musk, you keep going, oh, this guy's smart. This guy's smart. Right, right, right. No, hold on. Your drug dealer's smart? Street smart?

What are you talking about? Yeah, what does that mean? There's different levels to this game. There's giant leaps. Yeah, it'll trigger me because this guy's an athlete. But this guy had got them convinced that he was like a security expert and i knew he was a fucking idiot and when i heard that we do this stuff for the streets i go hey man listen to me yeah i said the best stuff that you should learn is the stuff that works on train killers this is one of the good things with the

internet because brian had this friend who'd hang around him all the time and brian go i remember that guy and brian go uh dude dude, he fought fucking Chuck Congo. He did, and he fought Chuck Congo. Also, he wrestled at ASU. I'm like, okay, cool. And I was being cool about it. And then we'd hang out. He'd make references to it.

Yeah, he fought Vanderlei Silva in Brazil on the beach and all this shit. I'm like, okay, cool. And then I go, where can I find them? It's easy to look up. The internet's there all day. If you did this, he's like, okay, cool. And then I go, where can I find them? It's easy to look up. The internet's there all day. If you did this, he's like, no, this is underground shit, man. Okay. And I go, but you wrestled at ASU?

He goes, yeah, I did. I go, what years? He told me, oh, my head coach at Reign Training Center, who's Chael's main guy and all those, I go, he was the captain of ASU. So I text him, have you ever heard of this guy? He goes, no. And then I go, dude, he was there the same years he was the captain of asu so i text him hey you ever heard this guy goes no and then i go dude he's never he was there the same years he was the captain of the team you wrestled for me he goes hold on dude i didn't i wasn't i didn't go to asu they would let me in the practice i'd go with the team i just went compete so i take someone hey was there a guy

that came in that you he goes excuse me you think we'd let an out no it's against ncaa rules because this guy's full of shit so i took brian and go brian let me talk to you real quick your friend full of shit it's very easy to prove and how did brian handle it oh he was like oh really i'm like yes dude i know dude brian is so bad at seeing that yeah there's been so many times when he and i have been friends i've been like hey man what is going on with that guy yeah what are you saying that guy he's like on coke he's out of his fucking mind he's full of shit like that's not your lawyer like calvin was always like there was always like people around him that just had no business being around him but god bless him he always

like he looked he sees the best in everybody so he he's like, no, dude, this guy fought Chuck Congle on the beach in France. I'm like, he didn't. It's a disturbing thing to be that bad at spotting liars, though. The worst. But it comes from a good place, I think. He doesn't mean to. Yeah, that stuff's triggering for me on that Patrick. It does come from a good place.

Yeah, it does. It's kind of endearing that That he's so nice to Idiots Yeah yeah But it was way It was way worse When he was younger Oh it's still bad now He brought

It's Dude he brought Some kid It's way worse now Is it really Yeah yeah Way worse Oh way worse

Oh no God bless him Because again I don't get mad at him anymore It's just sometimes You gotta accept people over there He brought one guy In the thing

He was like He played in the NBA He played in the NBA, didn't he? He played in the NBA. I'm going to bring him in. It's like five minutes before we go live. I'm like, no, hold on. I'm like you. I'm like you.

I'm between you. If Brian's here and you're here, I'm in the middle. I'm trying to get better. And so he goes, this guy, he's giving me his background. I go, he played in the NBA? He goes, yeah. I go, Brian, it NBA He goes yeah I go Brian it doesn't matter

How does he fit on the show dude It's a comedy You know We fuck around dude Right He's not Alright he's just gonna sit in So he sits in

And then I talk to him You play in the NBA He goes no I don't play in the NBA I was like you never play in the NBA He's like no I played overseas Like minor league

And I'm like god damn it Oh Brian But Brian heard like He heard So for him he thinks the best by asking the man no you just heard brought him on the show black guy so he's like oh he's good i'll show you my value to the show yeah he's good my decision making so i'm gonna bring on a guy how was the guy was he good he didn't come up i will allow him on the show i don't know this guy

you can't have a mic we got a fucking show to do i don't know this fucking. He can't have a mic. We got a fucking show to do. I don't know this fucking guy. He can't come on. Oh, Brian. He's so crazy. Dude, and the way I used to tour with him. He's not doing it now anymore. When I used to tour with him, we'd be in the front of the plane and people would walk by like a big, swole black guy. He'd go, dude, my God, your body.

I'm like, oh. Oh, no. What are you, an NFL player or something like that? I go, hey, let me talk to you real quick. That's so appalling. Because if they're not, dude, you know how racist that is? Well, not only that, it's like a man just wants to get on a plane. A man doesn't want to be complimented on his physique over and over again by a guy who's like, kind of acting?

Like, what is going on here? But also trying to get to his seat. He's like, wait, what? Right. The one time, I'll give this to Brian, the one time was Saquon Bark barkley who's like the biggest freak in the nfl and he's kind of shorter but his his fucking quads are like this so i see him right and he's his rookie year in the nfl for the giants he's rookie of the year and fucking almost won the heisman i i i track him i see him come on the play i'm like oh that's saquon barkley that's a fucking jack dude i'm like fuck brian's gonna

say something he's walking my goes hey but my god those fucking quads and He got it right this time. So it worked. He goes. What are you some sort of running back? Let me guess He's like, yeah, man Like hug and taking pictures and shit. Oh my god fucking finally paid off dude Well, it's you ran to Saquon Barkley if you throw a hundred darts, but one of them hits the bullseye. Yeah. Isn't it worth it? Yep. It worked for him. I don't know if he's still doing it.

He ever tell you about his fucking Bob Saget story? No. Brian's going to play like some shit show. And I think Bob's going, say it was Florida or somewhere, you know,

Bob playing some fucking arena because he's killing it. And Bob's in first class. I love this story. Bob's in first class. I love this story. Bob's in first class and Brian's walking by. Brian goes, Bob, what's up? Bob goes, what's up, man? Oh, good to see you. And he's talking. And he goes, where are you going? Brian goes,

oh, my seat's back there. And then Bob just looks at him and goes, well, I've won. He goes, I won. Brian goes, what? He goes, I'm in first class. You're not. I've won. Brian said, I was talking. He goes, well, I've class. You're not. I've won. Brian said, I was talking to you. Well, I've won. Okay, see you.

Give it back to me. Brian's like, okay. Well, I've won. Wasn't Brian a comedian? That's supposed to be funny. Yeah, yeah. I would have laughed. Oh, Brian said he was laughing because he just kept shouting it.

Well, I've won. I've won. You're back there. So funny. He was a good dude, man. His passing was a sad one. That was a hard one to take. Curious.

I mean, I'm not a conspiracy guy in any facet, which also, you know, met Alex Jones last night. Nice guy. Alex Jones is a very nice guy. He's a really nice guy. He's a very nice guy. Yeah. He loved my bid on vaccines. That's what he told me.

So you're doing something right, if Alex Jones likes your vaccine bit. But he's a nice guy. But again, I'm not a big conspiracy guy, but when you look into Bob Saget's death, it is a little weird, right? Well, I mean, he fell, obviously. He blacked out.

I mean, did you see that doctor? But here's the reality of not knowing about his health. He blacked out. I mean, did you see that doctor? But here's the reality of not knowing about his health. Yeah. We could both fall into speculation here about all kinds of things. You don't know why people black out. We don't know if people have a history of blacking out. And I don't know if this was the first time. Sometimes people legitimately have medical issues and you

could jump to conclusions and not be aware of the family people have done that about close friends of mine or people that I knew oh it's horrible and it drives me crazy it's like come on man you don't you don't know the whole story I'm not even trying to open a can of worms so he he fell apparently it looks like he fell and blacked out yeah and you know as well as I knew know that when like you've seen street fight videos or guys get KO'd and their heads bounce Off I watch world star every morning. It's so scary. Oh, Jay Simpson first. I'm It's so scary But the only weird thing is is the the doctor that the autopsy was saying again. I'm not trying to start any shit here

I'm just the article I read this doctor goes The the weird thing is if you fall you usually will see a fracture in the back of the the skull because the weird thing about this thing and he didn't draw any conclusions he just goes the orbitals were fractured right the front was fractured the frontal was fractured and the back and he goes and the only time he can do all that is if you were to fall out of a 30 foot story building he goes so or if somebody took a bat to you so he's like so just fall in the bathtub this doesn't make sense but who knows yeah but if you fell in the bathtub and you hit your face

where your orbital is on the rim of a steel bathtub or a ceramic bathtub, something ungiving, and then fell backwards. I mean, he might have fallen twice. But also, he. Because if he fell and was like semi-conscious, he stood up. And then fell again. And then fell and then blacked out again. Yeah, I'm not trying to start anything.

But my thought is, I don't know what his health was like. Bob was in his 60s, you know, and he liked to party. In terms of like, he liked to have a few alcoholic beverages. I don't know if he liked to party yeah in terms of like you like to have a few alcoholic beverages uh i don't know if he was still drinking at the time and he never had like a drinking problem but i'm saying he's not it's not like he was running marathons you know he's uh also shit happens like sometimes freak shit happens shit happens so for the family it's terrible that people keep carrying on with this stuff i I'm just saying what that doctor said. I thought that was weird, but it's also like, okay, at the end of the day, okay. But also, if there was some malarkey or kind of shady shit going on, it happened at the four seasons.

So they have video. Yeah. I don't think they think that. I don't think any – I haven't really read any like legitimate because I think there's a thing with the cards like when you Get into the door. They know how many times you've done it and they know nobody entered the door. Yeah after him Yeah, so that yeah case all I get I would never disrespect. No. No, I know you're not He was it's just a conversation he had fucking sweet, man. He was also a savage on fucking stage Yeah, yeah, just a really sweet guy. Always nice to me, man.

Super nice to me. Just nice to everybody, man. Yeah. Was always friendly and kind and genuinely wanted to engage with you and connect with you and talk to you, and everybody felt that way. You're hard-pressed to find people who don't like Bob. Yeah, I'd say a bad thing about him. But for me, I know you say he's nice to everybody.

For me, especially coming to comedy, not everyone was nice to me, man. Yeah. Which I get. I completely understand. It's unfortunate. It doesn't bother me. That's fine. But it's like the guys that were and where I'm at now, that goes so far with me, man.

Right. Now it's like, hey, man, whatever you want to do, you got to fucking hide a dead body, call your boy. Whatever you got to do, man, you were nice to me body, call your boy. Whatever you got to do, man. You were nice to me when you had no reason to be. I'm in, dude. There's bad people, and then there's people that you just might be annoyed by. And you got to learn to accept the people that you might be annoyed by.

The bad people are the people that are doing something bad to people, taking something from people, stealing something, robbing people, fucking people over. Those are the people that you should be concerned about because they're not thinking about other people they're only thinking about themselves they're only they're trying to victimize other people in order for them to gain their own success but the other people that annoy you you got to look at like what are they doing that's so bad and why are you spending so much time concentrating on it and i get criticism and and one of the things about being a person like you or being a person like me who's public

is you got to accept the fact that people are gonna talk shit about you it's what we signed up for it's what you sign up for it's just a part of the program but some people in there for their it's not in their own good interest to be spending so much time no just getting upset that this other person is doing comedy and they're doing comedy like they look at you like oh you're a UFC fighter oh he's doing comedy now it's almost like comedy is like some I know it's sacred to them because for every comic it's like when you're on stage and when it goes right

it's like that's what you're working towards. You're putting countless hours into that moment where you hit a punchline and everybody laughs and you know you're locked in and everybody's enjoying that moment. It's all worth it. Comedy is very black and white, though, too. It's like you could be Brad Pitt and you get on that stage, especially at the comedy store,

the laugh factory, the improv. Those aren't my home, that's not a home game for me and if you're getting, it's very black and white. It's not like, does that make sense? Yeah,

it works or it doesn't work. Yes, you're either going to sink or swim. Well, that's one of the reasons why I had Carrot Top on the podcast. He was always a guy who was like a whipping boy

and I was like, why? He's so nice. He's so nice. He he's funny he's just doing his own show if you have fucking kids and you want to see like a family friendly funny show carrot top show is really good think how long he's been doing it forever something's working and like when you engage with him like when he was on the podcast he's a sweetheart on here man he's great he was like when he was on the podcast, he's a sweetheart. I love the man here, man. He's great. He was weird when he got all juicy, right?

But I also enjoy that. He got big. I enjoy that. He wanted to get jacked for a while. Yeah. Who am I to judge? He got a little crazy. But the thing is, that guy was a whipping boy for zero reason for so long.

You call him a hack and shit like that, right? Well, it was just that he was using props. That's all. But he was using them so well that he changed the genre like no one else is a prop comedian now I boy sells tickets But it was a thing where like when I was coming up in the 80s like in 88 when I started that was a category of Comedians a prop comic. Yeah, there was a guitar comic a prop comic. Sometimes people had puppets, you know They all those are gone like

easy for as far I mean I rep you know it's just like as far as you know like puppets go it's it you don't really see it anymore like no no like you'd have to have some real balls to go up at the comic store improv or ice house and fucking get out a puppet well you better be fucking funny the great one was Jeff Dunham the great- Jeff Dunham. The great one was- Jeff Dunham is awesome. I mean, he's got a bunch of different characters, and Jeff Dunham kills it on the road.

Kills it. What? Kills it on the road. I think he's Forbes top 10, dude. Kills. He just kills it. Give me a fucking puppet. The great one is Otto and George.

Yes. Otto and George. I worked with Otto and George in the 90s- Oh, really? In New York City. Oh, damn. Yeah. We did shows in New Jersey.

We did shows. Oh, God. We did a gang of shows. We did fucking, I did what they call prom shows with Otto and George. And Otto and I would do these shows where you would have kids that were coming in on their prom. So they're 17-year-old kids. And they pump them in there. And they can't drink, but they all bring in liquor. Sure.

They're all hammered. Yeah. And they want you to tell the same jokes so that the kids leave because they can't get the kids to leave. So they keep pumping more kids in. Weird. And then they get the kids to quit. The show's over. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, but they still sit there.

They can sit there if they want. So then they do the same act so that they leave. Leave I'm like I'm not doing the same fucking act Not like I'm not bombing in front of the same kids over and over There was a guy I don't want to say his name I don't embarrass him, but he was on stage and this kid Was a big kid like a big football player looking kid went on stage took the took the mic from him, and blew cigar smoke in his face. Savage. And he didn't do a fucking thing about it.

I was watching, I was like, man, that's a problem. You've got to have security to stop that. You can't let that happen. And this was during the prom shows, but that's how crazy prom shows were. We would do like five, six in a night. But it was really lucrative. If you were like me and you were broke, yeah, you would get good money and you would do like five, six in a night. But it was really lucrative. Like if you were like me and you were broke.

Yeah. Yeah, you would get good money and you would get like five sets a night. Yeah, stage time. And as long as kids kept showing up, they kept having shows. So they wouldn't even tell you how many shows you had. They would just call them prom shows. And so I left when it was light out. Fuck.

Light out. You were all night just doing work. I left Dangerfields in New York City And the light was coming up Jesus Christ And I was like This is crazy It was like fucking Five in the morning

I was like This is nuts That's cool Yeah God old school man Yeah that was with Otto Otto He had some fucking

Great bits man And the The dummy would say The horrible shit Like give me Give me something So you can see it 98

I need to lick some ass all right suck my presidential cock all right now he's doing Trouble turns and licks the nose. All right. JFK got a lot of kooza. All right. We're going to do the inauguration of John Kennedy. Am I saying it right? Run, Faris, run, you motherfucker. Learn how to talk, jerk off. He's not even hiding his mouth. He's just talking.

I did a bunch of shows with Otto, and one of the shows I did was also at Dangerfields. And this kid in the front row, he's like, man, I can see his lips moving. Yeah, he's not hiding his lips. You're missing everything. You pay attention to the dummy. It's a sense of disbelief. But this kid was so dumb, and he was sitting there going, man, I can see his lips moving. You're missing it, dumbass. Can I grab his eyes? Yeah, it's water. Yeah. But this kid was so dumb. And he was sitting there going, man, I can see his lips moving. You're missing it, dumbass.

Can I grab this ice? Yeah, it's water. Yeah, it's water. Yeah, just grab it. Grab it and dump it. I think it's like one giant chunk, unfortunately. Just smash it on the table. There you go.

Do you want some? Yeah, give me some of that. Thank you. Definitely COVID. Yeah, he was – I'm not scared. Yeah, me neither. He's not a guy that people talk about enough. Otto was brilliant.

And he was also, the type of comedy that he did was just so reckless. I mean, you don't see that at all. It's a dying form, man. But his was amazing. He had an amazing thing because the dummy would say the fucked up things and we'd go, oh, that's crazy. How can you say that? Yeah, I wonder if there's a comic that could do it today and the dummy just says some outlandish shit and then like

can they cancel you like the fucking i wrote it it's the fucking it's coming out of the dummy someone should have like blue hair and they should be like the progressive ultra liberal and then they should have a dummy that's their dad who's like an archie bunker who says some really funny fucked up shit that would be a brilliant act because you would be exonerated especially if you claim non-binary status before you started your career crush it you would kill it because you just get away you're a member of that protected class you got pink hair yeah you go up there with like some fucking peace shirt on something like that, and then you have a dummy, and the dummy just says horrible, horrible, horrible shit. Yeah.

It's brilliant, dude. Someone's going to do that. God, I hope they do. Why not? Please do it. It's a dying art form, dude. The ventriloquist art form is kind of a dying art form. Do you know how much fucking money Jeff Dunham makes?

I know. I told you Forbes top 10. When I was at Stand Up Live-up live probably four years ago You know take sales were good, and I'm walking to get Food is the middle afternoon. I look over it cuz it's right across from that where the Suns play It's packed yeah, I asked the manager who the sons are I know the Suns were playing the middle of the day goes Oh, no, it's Jeff Dunham. He has a two o'clock, 4 o'clock, and an 8 o'clock show. What?

Excuse me? He has a 2 p.m.? It was like 2, 5, and 8. Holy shit. I'm like, hold on, hold on. He sold out Sons Arena? Three times? Three times the same day.

He goes, yeah, he has three more tomorrow. He goes, it's all families and kids. Wow. That's crazy. My dad wouldn't come to my comedy. He'd go to Jeff Dunham. Yeah, there's guys like that that completely escape mainstream media, but they're just killing it. Crushing it.

That's wild. Are those real numbers? That's insane. I'm telling you, dude. And I was like, who the fuck is over there? If that's true, he's probably the number one act in the country. He's up there. He has to be.

If he can sell out in Phoenix six shows in an arena well those those comics that do that right like this ain't like I've heard of that like fluffy right like fluffy sold dodgers came out twice now Jesus Christ I think he's for the Netflix thing how many how many people are in that that's gotta be like 60,000 I don't know i know they were telling like not to do it there's some weird story i was talking enrique at the laugh factor about it they were telling like not to do it because it was outside and then he was like well let's see how it goes and i guess it sold out in like fucking you know an hour like right and you want to do

another one he's like let's see how it goes and that bitch sold out fluffy Fluffy's a beast, dude. Look at that. Gabriel Fluffy Iglesias at second Dodger Stadium date after becoming first comedian to sell out historic venue. Holy fuck. Good for him. Dude, they have his picture up at the Ice House. It'll be like, 57 sold out shows in a row. Yeah.

It's like, holy fuck, dude. 56,000. Okay. A Glacier show will have a little over 45,000 people. So he sold 90,000 seats. It says Dave Chappelle is doing Four Nights at the Hollywood Bowl, which has a capacity of 17,500. He sold out those dates. It put 70,000 butts in the seats.

Wow. Look at this hater, but there are plenty of tickets left for Chappelle's show. Oh, stop. Fucking h seats. Look at this hater, but there are plenty of tickets left for Chappelle's show. Oh, stop. Fucking hater. Dude, how about- Maybe they're just saying that because you could go out and get tickets. Nah, sounds like some salty bitch. Well, they're just comparing them against how good Gabriel's doing.

Is the person who wrote that article Latino? It might just be proud. Might be that. Might be a big Gabriel fan. Doesn't tell you? I mean, I can't tell by the name. What's the name? Tom Tapp.

Two Ps. Two Ps? No. No, that's a white guy for sure probably a white guy yeah big fluffy fan though probably there's a lot to say at the local barista spot yeah with this freaking americano but also but also you're not throwing shade at Chappelle because Chappelle still sold more well it doesn't matter it's like it's still it's still- Both of them are fucking crushing it. I'm just happy for Gabriel. He's a great guy. I'm happy for both of them. Dude, when I met with all these networks, they were talking about billboards.

So I called my team. I was like, hey, how much is a billboard? They told me. Here's the thing you don't know about billboards in LA. First of all, Netflix and ABC owns all of them down Sunset and Hollywood Boulevard. All of them. They own all of them, dude. That's smart. I get it.

So we're trying to get one and we've been working on it for months, months. And then finally something happened where one popped up off Hollywood Boulevard. Popped up. And how much is it? They tell me like, I'll take it. And we're cool.

But once you know it's off Hollywood Boulevard and it's during the Netflix big festival and it's right where Dave Chappelle's performing. But for some reason it's during the Netflix big festival, and it's right where Dave Chappelle's performing. But for some reason, it's open. But we didn't know in the next hour. Like, hold on. It's Hollywood Boulevard, and all those comedy fans come in? I'll fucking take it, dude.

I'll take it right now. So we fucking got this billboard. They just put it up, I think, last night, this fucking giant billboard of Hollywood Boulevard. I don't think it does anything as far as views because it's so fucking old school. It's more just a flex. Yeah, it's a flex. When I went to meet with everybody, they told me billboards.

I'm like, okay, I'll do that. It's literally just a show, you know, and obviously I have some other resource because I have a team behind me. But I can, you know, shoot my own special, cut the sizzles, commercials, billboard, whatever these networks offer, networks offer i can do yeah and you don't have to share it and i can that's the thing it's like how many i want how many people are involved in a network production like if you're going to do a comedy central special how many people do you have to talk to how many how many people at the network have to prove it how much how much there's a lot going on i went down and then also it's only on at you know tuesday night at 8 p.m or whenever they decide to put it on.

How many times after that do they have to air it? And is it going to be on the streaming site? And okay, what kind of traffic is your streaming site getting? It's one of those things like the beautiful thing about YouTube is that it has a built-in massive, massive audience. And if something's good, people share it. And it's easy to share. They've got it down. They know how to do it and you can cut clips and then people can share clips and then also

When I met with him I said okay, this is you know again. I did all myself I didn't hire a publicist or anything like that. So I was like just through my connections. These are the shows I'm gone this out this some this how many people will reach. Yeah So I'm just gonna give that to you guys I can do it. There's no many people it will reach. Yeah. So I'm just going to give that to you guys? I can do it. There's no reason, you know? It's also, all it does is limit your reach for a specific amount of money. It's like they give you a specific amount of money to limit the reach of your show.

That's really what they're doing. It used to be that if you got a Comedy Central special or if you got, the ones that really work now are Netflix, HBO, and maybe Showtime. Those still really work because they do have apps that a lot of people use. But if you wanted to look like what's the difference between one of their apps, what kind of traffic they get versus YouTube. Correct. It's not even close. YouTube's crazy.

Also the potential. Also, if you're going to do it for free and just release it, you could release it on Facebook. You could release it on YouTube. You could release it on YouTube. You could release it on Vimeo. Cut as many clips as you want. What is it? Rumble.

Rumble. Put it on Rumble. You could put it on Odyssey, Roku. There's a lot of things you could put it on. And that's, for you, ultimately, it's an advertisement. Correct. For people to come see you live. To say, come see me live.

Yeah. And that's the way I came up different than you did, where when you were coming up, I even say Netflix now, it's a little different, but when you're coming up, maybe eight guys got specials, but now it's more of like an advertisement, just you're doubling down your shelf. Come see me on the road. Yeah. If you like this, I'll be here.

Yeah. That's all it is. And the thing about stand-up specials as opposed to anything else is you don't need anybody else. You need someone else if you want to film a show. If you have the idea for some sort of a sitcom and you wrote it, you wrote in these characters, you're going to need people.

You're going to need camera people, sound people, lighting people. You're going to need set people sound people lighting people you're gonna need set people set designers you're gonna need a lot of shit like then it makes sense to plug into an existing network correct because it's like uh okay i'm we're in the creative side and you guys are in the facilitating side and the you know executive side let's uh let's get together and have some fun that makes sense but with comedy it's like what exactly is are you is your part what are you doing yeah you're deciding what i can and can't say that's all you're doing yeah like you're not there's no real budget other than the set and the set you know and the crew which and the crew my crew shot it and all that stuff and the cameras were mine but it's like we have all that nothing like a show

no not at all the moving parts of a show you have to do what but it's like we have all that nothing like a show no not at all the moving parts of a show you're talking to what in the sets and insurance and all that shit all the different cast members they have to know their lines that makes sense rehearse there's writers and there's revisions it's a different animal than stand-up so when they jump in in the stand-up world i don't think it's necessary i don't think it's good for us because then you start dealing with other people's ideas of what you should and shouldn't say versus your idea like there's some stuff that I did in the past that I wouldn't do now on stage the bits that I did that I wouldn't do anymore but if you looked at the overall thing of it what I could say is

that I it was all what I wanted to do yeah I tried it out and maybe I didn't like the reaction or maybe I didn't think about it the same way that I think about it now or but it's all a process of learning and getting better at it as soon as you interject other people into that process like you're subject to their whims and then people have egos they're going to be like oh I'm the one who told them to wear this yeah I'm the one who told them to not say that and you know let's do the special in black and white especially right now especially right now especially when i was shopping it was a bit of a different time than it even is now you know i have

some bits about vaccines and newsom and garcetti and they're like dude we're cutting this and i in the meeting room you know again i'm not i'm not, I'm not where you're at. So I was like, well, I guess I could compromise on that. And then I would go back and, you know, I just, I just feel like, you know, I'm like, why am I doing this? Well, you know what? Why the fuck would I cut that stuff? I love that stuff. Yeah. It works.

People dig it. You're gonna let this guy decide him for what, man? And then I think too, I saw, you know, like the way they vilified you and the media and stuff like that and it's just like this is all fucking malarkey like what and you're gonna bow down to this dude for what you want to be there's different people be accepted by by who do who what approval are you looking for there's different people there's regular people the people that are around when they're having a drink at your house, when there's no cameras, when it's just you and another person. That's people when they're at their most normal. And then there's people when

they're in corporate positions. And then there's people that are in these jobs where you have to abide by this rigid set of rules of how do you do things and you know behavior and what you dress like and but also they don't want to be responsible for who who greenlit that who allowed them to do that what are you guys doing they start getting backlash yeah like what the fuck are you doing and then they take it down right and you sold it to them but that that world of not you know not having control of your life like there's consequences to not having control of your life there's consequences to being having control of your life. There's consequences to being, like, an executive where you're working 16 hours a day, five, six days a week,

and you never do anything else. You're obsessed. Yeah, I'm sure you have a nice car. I'm sure your house is amazing. I'm sure you're balling. I'm sure you're balling. Comes at a price, though. But you're paying a fucking heavy price.

And the difference between the price that an executive pays versus the price that a comic pays, it's quite different. So when people say you work hard, sure, that's something you love to do. Yes. But real working hard is doing something you fucking hate because you don't want your kids to be hungry. Correct.

That's real working hard. I don't do any of that. No. Again, you're the North Star, man, for a lot of comics. And I think even with me at the level and put on youtube and getting the billboards and shooting the commercial and sizzle and all my team doing it it shows you you know we'll see what happens with it nothing i can do now but it's like you don't need anybody dude you don't if the material is good it speaks for itself

well which people if i do need is friends and that And that's one of the best things about this internet culture as opposed to the culture that existed before. It was like, for comics at least, we would try to get on sitcoms. We would try to get a spot on like a late night talk show was the key. If you get a late night, even if a small network offered you a late night talk show, it's like, oh my God, it's a big deal. And there's only a certain amount of spots. So it was like dog eat dog, dude. That's exactly what the problem was. And then when the internet opened up, we all looked at it differently because we realized, well, actually we benefit from being around each other.

Benefit from helping each other. And again, I think you established that culture in comedy, especially at a time where it wasn't really highlighted. You look at, with my special event, dude, Andrew Schultz and his team. I didn't ask him for anything Dude, I didn't say hey help me out. Not nothing. He hit me up Hey, man, when you shooting you, I'm gonna come make sure it's ready to go. I know what he's amazing He was I'm gonna come out. Where you taping at and it's middle pandemic I gotta run you know my out. I'm running the hour the half an hour half an hour hour show He was where you taping at? He was shooting a movie with Eddie Murphy for Netflix or something.

And he goes, I'm going to pull up to the late show. I'm going to sit there and watch it as a fan, dude, and let you know. I didn't ask him to do any of this, dude. He comes. After being on set all day, Schultz, he comes, watches it. We talk in the back. And then he goes, let me know, man, because I know the YouTube algorithm, how it should look, stuff like that. And has just been here's here's my team him and akash

here's my fucking team dude any questions you have use us so my team connect with his team and then even you know people know you always support me but like even you and de stefano and de stefano's like send me send it to me man like I'm gonna the edits here and just stuff that You know you guys have so much more experience like what you guys say. I'm fucking sure as hell listening You know so it's like you and I really give you the credits like you create this culture where we help each other out and In turn I do the exact same the Chappelle and all these guys in that well That's a culture that comes from martial arts. I mean martial arts you need trainers. You need training partners.

You're only as good as your training partners. Yeah you need coaches. You need training partners. Everybody works together and you're always helping people with different things that you see because you also realize that it helps you. Like I always tell this story about my friend Brent when he went to when he first started training at 10th Planet, he was really good.

You know, it was good. We always had fun battles. We always rolled together hard. And then he started teaching. And the leap that he made within one year was crazy. And I remember I had this conversation with him. I was like, how did you get better so quick? Like, you're so much better.

And he said, dude, it's all the teaching because I'm I have these paths like solidified in my head and instead of like guessing in the chaos I know what's going on now is it down yeah slows it down and I think that that applies to comedy too I think the helping of guys coming up helps everybody because the more you talk about stand-up and the way you do it, the more it kind of affirms the value of it and that there's a discipline to it and that there's other guys that are doing the same thing I'm doing, just doing it a different way. And you learn it inside out as you're helping. Yeah. Helping, coaching. Yeah.

You can take stuff from that and apply it to your own shit. Yeah, like when you see a friend's bit and it's too wordy there's too many words in it you're like too many words yeah like is you a person that is only seeing it once fresh eyes you have a way better perspective for the most part than the person that's actually saying it because the person that's saying it they've thought it through maybe i'll say it this way maybe I'll say it that way and then they say it and maybe when they're saying it they're a little confused like oh I got to explain this better and there so they add a little extra words to it and it just makes it kind of clunky you could see that yes on the outside if you're

like a comic watching a comic like ah it's all bullshit you got to get all that out what this is what you're trying comic watching a comic, you're like, ah, this is all bullshit. You've got to get all that out. This is what you're trying to say. You're trying to say this and go straight to that. And that's something that, even if I can't tell you how to do stand-up, because everybody's different. You've got your William Montgomery's. You've got your David Lucas's. Everybody's different.

And then you've got your Neil Brennan's. And then you've got your Sebastian's. Everybody's got a different style. But there's one thing. It thing is like get to the fucking point Yes Like the economy of words seems to be one of those core principles that you can kind of apply to almost everybody's act When you got a lot a bunch of nonsensical shit that you could explain far quicker You're taxing people's attention span the only reason why they listen is because they've entrusted in you that you're going to be funny or interesting.

You know how to do this. Yeah, funny or interesting. I think that's why it's cool to see Louis C.K. working it out because you could tell the bits that he's been doing that were monsters. And, you know, it was a shit sandwich. So it was great in the beginning, great at the end. In the middle, you could tell that was his new shit. It was cool to see him at his level. Won a Grammy.

Yep. For best fucking comic book 2021. Won a Grammy while being canceled in the fucking middle of the storm. That's how good he is at stand-up. Yeah. Won a fucking Grammy. Yeah. And not only that, I think he won a Grammy for the one that's not as good as the newer one.

Agree. I think that one, sincerely, Louis C.K., is great. It's very funny. But then Sorry is even better. Even better. Even better. So it was cool to see. I hope he wins two years in a row.

Me too. How about that? Probably well. After seeing his shit. It's cool to see at his level. This guy's been doing it forever. Yeah. To see him a little chunky, a little clunky in the middle, and then comes back and he

says what's up, and he's cool, he's super polite, but then he's on his notepad. He's writing, writing notes, writing notes, writing notes. Then we see him at the late show, slowly tightening it up. I'm like, there's no other way to do it, man. Everybody goes through the same, whether you're Joe Rogan, Lucy Kay, Kevin Hart, or an open mic-er, this is the process. I got a new bit. I'll tell you about it after the show, but on Tuesday it killed, and on Wednesday it sucked. Last night bit. I'll tell you about it after the show. But on Tuesday, it killed.

And on Wednesday, it sucked. Last night did? I'll tell you about it later. I'll tell you about it later. I don't want to talk about it. I had to go out of the room. I was seeing you do Stamp in a while. And the crowd was going fucking ape shit.

I like to bullshit. Because I haven't seen Tony and the guys in a while. So I was bullshitting. And then I'm like, fuck, I see Joe Sant. I go out there. And that place was fucking. I texted youitting them and I'm like ah fuck I see Joe Sant I go out there and that place was fucking I text you last night and I'm like dude you're fucking rocking

I'm getting ready to film something I'm trying to figure out when but I feel like I gotta let this baby out of my pussy I've been holding on to this comedy baby for too long for you too it's like there's so many eyeballs on you good or bad there's so many so it's like yeah but i have freedom no i'm with you it doesn't matter

it's okay no matter what i can show people how to live with eyeballs on you correct there's no you're built for the job there's a reason you're built like that dude so it's you know it's you're gonna have so many eyeballs on it and then you know the material is so fucking good it just shoves it down their throat even more because if it was bad all right this is a nightmare you know i'm leaning into it it's fun yeah it's like and it's also like the enthusiasm of the people that are coming to see the shows is amazing i just feel i'm i'm just super lucky i'm very fortunate you know in a lot of ways man man. Very fortunate. Super happy.

Yep, but you also work very hard, dude. Don't get that away from me. I don't work too hard. I work hard enough. I got to balance an act that I'm doing. I'm trying to do the Miyamoto Musashi thing as applied to comedy and obsession. This is what I think.

If I was going to give advice to anybody who's obsessed with comedy. I could use this advice if I have a problem. Have another thing that you're also obsessed with. Give yourself one more thing that's a secondary thing. Like you got your A thing, that's your career, but you should have a B thing. So if you bomb and you're still good at the B thing, you could still like, you know, there's a process. Not going to jump off a cliff.

If your whole life, yeah, it's like one of the things that is a problem with fighters is that their whole life is fighting. So a loss is insanely devastating. And it's so, I don't have to tell you this, in order to gain back your feeling of identity, you have to go fuck somebody else up. Because that's all you're known for. You're only

associated with that. And if your last time out was a loss, dude, when I say the valleys are low i've ate dick on a stage before dude it just you know it happens to everybody i've ate dick many of times at the comedy store the improv or laugh factor i've ate all the fucking cocks yeah and don't get me wrong it sucks yeah but i can go across town and do another show and redeem myself or figure it out or go up the next night. But the lows in fighting are so low. It's so devastating.

I don't know if there's anything. Maybe losing a Super Bowl, throwing an interception in the fourth quarter. I don't think so because there's other people involved with you. They're sharing it with you. The peaks and the valleys, there there's no in between it's like you win it's dude oh my god i remember i would like when i knocked out chris tushisher he was 20 and one brock lesnar's training partner i knocked him out in whatever a minute and seven seconds i remember getting to the back and just get on my hands and knees and crying being so

happy that i didn't get hurt and i got a win and I was moving on to the next step, whatever that is, is Gabriel Gonzaga. I was so relieved, man. And I was so relieved I didn't let my teammates down and my training partners. And there's so many moving pieces that go into it. It's just so much more than the fighter. And I was so relieved that I'm going to get my win bonus and be able to pay them more and they have families and kids like people don't think about all the stuff that's affected with that right and then the valley is so low man i i can't you know i get emotional talking about it's so fucking low dude so when those guys lose at that level it's uh there's nothing like it man and i you know i i do

think that's helped me out so much in comedy and in stand-up, because it can get dark, especially for a guy like me coming to comedy, looking the way I do, being my size and being this weird oddball in this comedy world, which is filled with oddballs already, but I'm even fucking weirder. That's what bothers me. I am accustomed to being around savages. I'm accustomed to being around savages, right? I'm accustomed to being around guys like you and fighters.

And from all the years of working with the UFC and all my years of martial arts, it's normal to me. And thank God, man. Thank God, dude. I wouldn't have a career. Thank God, dude. Thank God you were like, yeah, I know he looks fucking weird, dude. I know he doesn't look like this. Give him a shot. He's funny. Give him a I can shot and you're a super nice guy man. The thing is like there's some mean

Shitty people out there. You're not one of them. You're a super nice guy And so what people are being to you I'm like man There's people to be mean to you want to make fun of them like he makes fun of himself make fun of everybody trust me Can't say anything that I don't make fun of everybody but stuff doesn't bother me But I bet here's the thing Jeff if I'm I was built for this you that doesn't affect me I know it's a saint come coming from football and fighting darkness of losses and fighting gross. They don't understand. Oh, there's no lower That's the thing is I'm gonna tweet at many fighters That are fighting I got knocked out in Brazil

Dude Bro I think I was there for that one Dude Hold on Was I there for that one Yeah I'm sure Yeah

It was the first time The UFC was in Brazil In fucking I don't know how long It was the co-main event Against No Gear It's like fighting What was the main event

Anderson Silva Forrest Griffin Dude it's like fighting Michael Jordan I don't know if I was there for that It's like fighting Michael What was the main event? Anderson Silva, Forrest Griffin. Dude, it's like fighting Michael Jordan. I don't know if I was there for that. It's like fighting Michael Jordan in Chicago. Everybody hated me. My family flew out there.

I got paid $16 and $16 to fight Noguera, who I was supposed to starch, dude. And, you know, you're getting a lot of shit for that. So it's like. You were never supposed to starch Noguera. I was a heavy favorite. But whoever's talking to you like that. Oh, no, I'm just, as far as the odd makers go. He wasn't that old then.

I know. Yeah. I know. In Brazil, and I, dude, at the time, and I asked for that. I would have warned you heavily about that. I could have used that. Yeah, I wish I was there in your corner. I would have said, patience.

Yeah. I would have said, you can't rush in on this motherfucker. And I rocked him with an uppercut. He's one of the most durable guy that's ever existed. Yeah, you could tell me that. This guy ran over by a truck when he was a kid. I know. That's why he has that big scar.

Yeah. That guy in the Bob Sapp truck. When Bob Sapp fucking pile-drived him, dude. Broke his neck. Yeah, his neck was fucked. Yeah, he's never been the same. Never been the same. Nice guy in the world.

We were talking about this on the BJ podcast. Was that before or after the Fedor fights? I don't think we ever resolved that. No, Garrett, Bob Sapp? Yeah. That was before the Fedors. Was it before the Fedor fights? Yes.

That's too bad. That's too bad. Because Bob Sapp was 375 with abs. I mean, he really was. All natural. Yeah, 100% from Earth. It's completely normal. Stuff from Earth. Dude. Natural lotus from Earth. I mean he really was all natural yeah a hundred percent from earth completely stuff from earth dude Dude he fought the whole look at all 50. It's from earth. He was so big

He was the greatest physical presence that the combat sports world has ever known didn't have box app in his prime Hey, he beat Ernesto, who's twice. Twice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a big deal, man. Even though- Big deal. Even though- It was the Hulk versus Captain America.

You know what I'm saying? It was. Crocop flatlined him. Remember that? Sure do. Crocop broke his eyeball. Yeah. How about when I fought Crocop in the back, I was watching Crocop's old highlights?

No. Yeah. Because I- I was glad to watch those. Dude, I was watching Crow Cops old highlight. No cuz I Watch those dude. I'm savage. I needed that and I wish I had done that the same process for the no gara fight I was like he's old and wash. I'm a starches student Brazil But for Crow Cop I was so amped up for that because I went into that fight watching all his old highlights because I was Expecting that version so you'll see I'm super focused in that fight. Yeah.

Ready to go, man. Yeah, ready to go. And I had a fucking war on my hands. Yeah. Noguera, you know, somewhere along the lines, after knocking out Crow Cop, all the press and media and being on covers of magazines, as a young kid, I got super cocky,

and I paid for it. But again, I wouldn't change anything. But when you're talking about the valleys of fighting and just life, when you fought on a Saturday and most people go home on a Sunday, I was so sure I was going to starch Noguera in Brazil, I flew my family friends out and we stayed another seven days. Jesus. So I'm there with a black guy, concussed,

walking around fucking Rio de Janeiro with my family, dude. Oh, my God. After getting knocked out. Oh, my God. On pay-per-view that I'm sure a lot of people saw, too. On Brazil? Yeah. All of Brazil saw.

All of Brazil. So you're walking through, dude. But they were so grateful. They were so nice to me, man. Imagine if you were Chael Sonnen. Oh, I know, dude. Or Conor. Oh, my God. When Conor talks shit about Brazil. Oh, I know, dude. Or Conor. Oh, my God.

When Conor talks shit about Brazil. Oh, my God, dude. Oh, my God. But again, all that stuff. Or Colby. Oh, my God. Who's talked more shit than Colby? We'll get there, dude.

The moment Fabricio Verdum hit it with a boomerang. But dude, going through that shit, it's like I have this armor on me, man. Right. They got me ready for comedy. So, you know, I'm like a fucking racehorse. I like this joe yeah all this stuff i don't see any of you i post and ghost and i i i tell my team like only let me know the positive stuff life is too good man yeah things are great man i live in the real world too it's like when you were going through all your shit you know you're on every fucking headline all that stuff i realized how much bullshit it is online that it really opened my eyes and that's like how it helped me

out to be honest because i realized how much bullshit all that that media is and it's not real dude because they need clicks and they're getting clicks now that trump's out they need clicks off you and i realize it's so much bullshit and i get calls from friends and family because they know we're close like dude your buddy joe you believe this hold on did you read the article do you know the guy like close family dude like there's there's nobody in my life that has done more for me than joe rogan and you're reading this fucking article i'm telling telling you. And I go, do you trust me? They go, yeah. I'm fucking telling you, man. They couldn't be more off. But then when I would go, you know,

every morning I'd go to the same coffee shop or I'd, you know, go get my foods and I would have interactions with people. That wasn't the same narrative. Nobody, people weren't like, dude, how about Joe? You know, he's this, there's this. No. They're like, dude, you believe this bullshit, man?

Can you believe? That was the majority of people, dude. The real people. The benefit of having a podcast is the people that know you. They know you. Correct. They don't know you like, you can't hide. That's who you are with everything you say, everything you do.

That's who you are. Good or bad. The thing that's different between podcasts and anything where you're on a network is that someone else, even if you fuck up and say stupid shit like Whoopi Goldberg and they suspend you, but you only get there if you get chosen. There's a way that you can do it where you have to like, there's commercials, you have to get everything in in seven minutes and then there's a way that you can do it where you have to like there's commercials you have to get everything in in seven minutes and then there's next commercial and you're dealing with a lot of fucking filters a lot of variables so if you get in trouble they don't really know what you're

like like what is what is she like when the camera's off like is that a professional way of talking correct what is that professional way of talking? Correct. What is that professional way of talking? When someone's like, okay, so what we learned today in a poll is that 54% of Americans don't believe that Joe Biden. Like, really? Who talks like that? Yeah, what is this? What is that, right? So that thing doesn't resonate with people. No.

Because if you were in a room with her and it was just you and her and she was talking like that, that would be crazy. Like, why are you talking like this? This is nuts but it's accepted that you talk like that on television on these shows and then the thing becomes the only way to get any attention is to argue so everybody's arguing especially on that show and they're talking over each other it's a nightmare this nobody has good views that doesn't work with people it doesn't feel right not the masses like it might work with you know some doesn't feel right. Not the masses. It might work with some of those dummies out there, but in general, you've got to remember,

I learned early on that social media is not real. You've got to remember, I go on the road, I talk to real people. I see them, the meet and greets. I see these people. Social media represents a population of people that are expressing themselves in a limited format. It's a format that's only text text and you don't experience social cues. You say things that you might, you know, maybe you're a little drunk or maybe you're angry

or maybe you feel sad, whatever. And you say things that are mean. And that's a feeling that you have in that moment. The problem is that then it's documented. And then maybe you don't even feel that way 20 minutes later. But you sure as fuck wouldn't say that to Whoopi Goldberg's face if you saw her on the street. You wouldn't be like, hey, Whoopi. Yeah, you'd be.

Never. Humans don't act like that. It would be horrible if you did that. But people feel so comfortable with doing that online. So people feel comfortable with communicating online in a way they would never in person. I just don't think that's good. I just don't think that's good. The only time it's good is when maybe you have information, especially if you're living under some horrible government.

And you have information that needs to be distributed and you need to be anonymous. All for it. But other than that, it's like I feel like we're all moving in a general direction of just trying to have a better society and a better life. And it applies to everything we do. But the movement would show, you know, you look at a lot of celebrities where, whether they're actors, comedians, a lot of them aren't engaged in social media anymore. They go, that's too risky. That's just not good for me, man. But that's the difference between podcasts and people that act, right?

Of course you're going to engage in social media. This is way more intimate than any social media will ever put out. Having a conversation, just you and me hanging out, this is way more intimate than any social media that anybody can ever put out. It's also, you and I, the only way we catch up, dude. Yeah, sometimes. We talk on the phone every week. We hung out last night.

Yeah, I'm just saying, and we talk on the phone all the time, but I'm just saying as far as three hours. Right. When Theo did your show, I call him. He's all nervous, and he goes, man, I don't talk to my therapist for three hours, man. He goes, shit, I haven't talked to my mom for three hours. He's the funniest guy in the world. He's the best. The best. He's so funny. for three hours funny scan the world he's the best that did the best he's such

a he's such an interesting dude cuz him and I are and that's why there's king this thing in the wing works we're so opposite where I'm like I'm like you I'm like a shark if I'm not moving I go crazy dude I have to be working feels the exact op he's like a sloth if you give him too much work you're gonna break him. So, hey, dude, we have three King of the Stings this week. What the fuck? He likes doing his work and then taking breaks, man.

The guy goes on more vacations than anybody I know. Well, yeah, I'm in Hawaii, bro. But he's got a casual style of comedy. I think that's probably good for him. Again, for him, back to your, if you're going to write about comics, if you wrote process I don't know how many people gonna be able to relate to it but that's Theo yeah Theo there's no dude hit when him and Chris are going to there's I sit back boys there's so fucking funny man the best job in the world either Theo has one of the most unique senses of humor I've ever encountered. But if you could get his process down, and if someone could talk about him from the beginning,

the open mic days, to really developing new material, to who he is now, if someone could break that down like that, that would be very valuable just to see his process. But his execution, it's like, good luck with that execution. That's Theo Vaughn. There's one Theo luck with that execution. That's Theo Vaughn. There's one Theo Vaughn. There's one Theo Vaughn. And his way of thinking. He'll say stuff when we're on the phone.

Talk about business decisions. He'll say stuff where you're like, what? He can't help himself. I just friend Toby, man. You're like, no, no, no, no. I don't give a fuck about Toby. He got bit by a frog. Yeah, he got bit by a frog.

He turned gay, man. He turned gay. So my thing is, got bit by a frog. He got bit by a frog. He turned gay, man. He turned gay. So my thing is, stay away from the frog. Alex Jones says them frogs is gay. I'm talking about taxes right now. He's so fucking unique, man. He's the best. I remember the first time I saw him really kill at the comedy store.

I'd seen him around, and maybe I hadn't seen a full set, but I'd seen a few jokes. But I'd been friendly with him. And then one day I was in the back of the room and he was just murdering he was so comfortable on stage he was so relaxed he was himself yeah himself cuz remember people forget Theo came off road rules that's that's where people knew Theo from road rules doing MTV and all that shit so he had that stigma on on him. So Theo came out of that shell. Maybe it was David Spade.

I forget. Him and David are really close. And Theo took off once he started being himself on stage. Because in person, he's the funniest fucking person. Most unique person. He's a fucking alien with a mullet, dude, and a big ass. He's so fucking funny. But that wasn't correlating on stage.

Well, it wasn't developed yet. It's like, you know, you start off as a white belt. It's just what it is. You know, he just hadn't figured it out yet. Dude. Theos. What did he say? Theos 2 and 2 Jitsu.

He is? Yeah, yeah. 2 Jitsu. I think it challenged him in Nashville. Shout out to Chandler. And he'll call me and be like, man, this fucking, he just can't help it. He's just so funny. He'll be like, man, this fucking big bitch fucking Sherry, man, fucking tweaked my arm, dude.

I don't know if I'm going back. I don't know if I'm going back. He'll go, I don't know if I'm going back, man. I'm going to rest on a few days, think about it. And you're just like, but he's dead serious. It's a woman arm part of him. Bro, women who are really good, they love fucking dudes up. Oh, this is their favorite, man.

Oh, my God. They love fucking dudes up. Dude, but yeah, fuck it. You can't help it, man. And they'll be like, I'm a fucking two-stripe white belt, man. Give me this hard scarf. And I'll go, fucking hard scarf. He's so fucking funny.

He's a perfect example of how there's no blueprint to follow for comedy. It's not possible. No. Everybody's different, man. Especially that guy. You can't. There's no way. But I get a lot of advice from Theo, too, because remember, he had that stigma on him.

They came from the real world, and he wasn't a comic, and he's this hack. So same thing. Come from the UFC. It takes a while, man. It's a 10-year process. hack and so same thing come from the ufc it takes a while man it takes a while but it's like the thing is it's like if you're coming straight from the ufc or straight from a reality show you're an open mic or with too much attention correct and you really are an open mic you're starting if you're the the boldest motherfucker that ever lived is charlie murphy because charlie murphy

was doing headline sets like right after he got into comedy also with you Well, he did those years later though. It's still a couple years in still but still beastie bold Very bold you think about having a fucking Showtime special when you're two years into yeah, it's nuts Yeah, very big balls dude. These Charlie didn't film a shit. Yeah But he almost they have bigger balls he had this you know opportunity and there's only one way to do it you got to learn on the job there's no other way there's no other way you gotta learn on stage man you need a lot of dick but the problem is you can't do that in a large crowd. You don't learn in a large crowd. No large crowds are not intimate They're not forgiving like did you see that TI thing in Brooklyn?

Which I mean I stand up and he was bombing You know, he's bound to bunch. I've only seen him bomb once. Yeah I was looking at the crowd was too many people my bro for any you know in he'll say And I you know, who am I to tell anybody not to do stand-up? I don't give a fuck, dude. I'm not going to judge that guy. Look at me. I don't judge anybody.

I hate nobody. I don't give a fuck. Do whatever you want to do, dude. But with him, David Lucas knows him. And David did a roast with him, lit him the fuck up. So him and David, a text. I said, you know what would go a long way for him? And I said, and a guy like me and i'm not ti and ti goes i'm not i'm not a comedian i'm a superstar ditch that what you should do and i even told emily this at the store you gotta humble yourself i told emily i said i know i'm headlining selling out shows i'll

i'll work the fucking potluck emily i'll'll come there. I'll work the door. I don't give a fuck what it takes for you to give me stage time at OR. I don't give a fuck, man. I'll do the trash, whatever you want, man. Whatever it takes, you let me know. Let me know. I'll do it. I'll fucking scrub the floors for five minutes in the fucking OR at potluck. I don't care.

You got to humble yourself. If you're coming into it with already a built-in kind of fan base and for him it's like obviously he's a massive star has some hits right back in the day had some hits but then he's coming in and not only is he coming in like the laugh acting comedy store which is a whole nother issue but he's coming in there and he's bumping guys and running the light so i think for him he don't have anybody on his crew that knows comedy. If someone would come and go, hey, dude, it's fine you're playing here. Don't run the light, dude.

So he just shows up and goes on stage? Mm-hmm. And they let him on stage. And then he'll do like 30 minutes. But again, do you, man. It takes a lot of balls to do it. All the respect to you. But don't run the light.

Because here's the thing. When you run the light, that other other comic you're taking away from his time Or the crowd gets tired. Well, you ate shit if he's bumping the show. He's probably just doing whatever he wants Anyway, you know, that's what I'm saying. So it's like someone you know, he's obviously is Security guards and all them don't know how comedy works So so I told David just let him know like these are the inside baseball rules where we're not going to hate him as much. Just let him know the rules. And then if he knows the rules and still does it, then he's just an asshole.

But I don't think he knows the rules, and that's an issue. Well, he probably doesn't think the rules apply because he's a famous person. Oh, they do, Bubba. Trust me, they do. Well, if you want to do it right, they should. If you want to learn jujitsu, you've got to start as a white belt. Don't think because you're famous, all of a sudden you're going to be a purple belt. No, you're going to be a white belt in the game.

You're going to be able to step into sparring class and do well. No. You're not going to do well. What are you talking about? It's not that much different than going on stage and trying to do jokes when you're kind of just starting out. Agree. You have to treat it like, despite your success and another discipline you have to treat it like you're a beginner because you are and the only way the other people that are doing it are going to respect you is if you

do treat it like you're a beginner and put the work in that's how you get the respect from your peers yeah you know you gotta put the work in man because when they see you just going up you know in these big shows Either I get the fuck out of here man. Yeah. Well doesn't Blake Griffin do stand up and isn't he good? You know, I wouldn't say just you know barely talks about it. Yeah, he's him saying yeah, who do the roast stuff like that He's not Funny, he's funny, dude We were being you and we're with him at the improv when he's getting ready to do it the roast who do the roast He's a funny guy. He'll do the roast.

He's a funny guy. He also has, whatever, $600 million in the bank and all these properties. So I don't think he's running sets at the Ha Ha. You know what I'm saying? He's just doing his thing. But the point is he's low-key about it. Yeah. He's not bumping people. He'll take what he can get.

He's a humble guy. I mean, you don't have to, but there's so many clubs. All you have to do is make a phone call and like set up your own show you want to run an hour or whatever you want to do like set up your own show it's not hard there's a lot of clubs ton of clubs and they and they and they want the they want butts in seats man that's really the best way to do it anyway the best way to do it anyway it's like have all the time in the world you know you have some subjects you want to cover you

you if these people are willing to go along with you in this process of you learning how to do stand-up you could do that they'll all come to see you correct that way and they'll watch you grow and mature do it that way yep but those giant shows giant shows that they're not there for you like i think he was doing like a fucking rap concert and got up there. It's like, bro, is that what it was? It was some bullshit. I don't know what it was. I thought it was a big comedy show.

I don't know. I know he did one that was very suspect. I'm like, dude, again, the team around him, he's like, hey, man, these aren't good parameters for stand-up comedy. Yeah, but could you imagine telling like an artist? The baby was on before you, man. Oh, that's what it was, really?

I don't know. It's bullshit. You imagine telling those artists what they can and can't do. I mean, they're successful in a crazy business, you know? In comedy, I can. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, hold on.

Hold on. You know, put whatever comedy. You know Bill Burr's on at 10, motherfucker. Right. And it's 940. Right. You better be off by fucking 10. Right.

Because he gets, you bump him? Dude, what are you doing? Well, that's a thing that guys used to do back in the day. I know. It was who could bump who. You know, guys. Such a flex. Guys would enjoy bumping people, you know.

And they would show up and try to go on right before. Like someone had a girl with them, like, you're going to see me, baby. My name's on the marquee. And they would, like, bump right in front of them, go in front of them and do long sets. I got bumped at the comedy store in the belly room. They wouldn't tell me who. And then me and...

This is years ago. Me and Jim Gaffigan were DMing each other back and forth. I love Jim. He's the nicest guy ever. And then I'm like, they're like, hey, do you mind, we know you're supposed to go in at 10.

Can you do 1030 now? I'm like, yeah, I don't give a fuck. Whatever you want. Literally, we'll do whatever they want at the county store. I have no business being there.

And then I'm standing there just watching. I feel a large presence over my shoulder here. Hello, Instagram friend. And I turn around, it's fucking Jim Gaffigan. Oh, I got bumper. He goes, goes yeah he goes up and crushes he's so funny he's very funny that's hilarious hello hello instagram friend that's you bump me jim yes yeah well i mean yeah do whatever the fuck

you want man yeah he yeah well he deserves a certain position in comedy but all those people that like that bump and don't deserve it they haven't earned that and it's like it's a tricky thing among comics i never did it i'm not a bumper i would just call in nor should you be but even at the highest level you would like you're talking about now how you've never done it kevin hart doesn't really kevin hart doesn't do it but even at the highest level dave chappelle my first time ever headlined at the comedy store i couldn't i couldn't figure out why they asked me to headline the belly room like really i'm only two years what and emily goes yeah you know if you want to do belly room wednesday night 8 p.m i'm like yeah say less fuck yeah i'll do it so i'm all

excited to get down i'm like the whole time i I'm gonna wonder why they're asking me to do it there's so many comics what was game at the time is game six of the World Series and of the Dodgers so there's nobody around it and so I'm back there and there's like I don't know fucking seven tickets sold I felt like it was such a loser and I'm in the back and Dave Chappelle walks in and uh Dave walks in goes goes, hey, man, you mind if I go on? And I was like, what? He goes, you mind if I go on? I go, whatever you want to do, man. And he was getting ready for some special at the time.

So seven people? No shit, Joe, not even exact. Let's say 14. It's the game six of the World Series, and the Dodgers are in it. Nobody's around. Dave goes up there. I go, whatever you want to do, man. Do you mind if I go first, though?

He goes, whatever, man, whatever. So I go up, do my thing, and then he goes up. He does an hour, I don't know, hour and a half for these 14 people. Wow. Annihilated. Like it was Mass Square Garden. Annihilated. 14 people?

14 people. That's amazing. And then comes back and I was able, you know, I talked to him, I don't know, probably fucking 45 minutes just me and him, you know, but what bummed me out and, you know, it's not his fault, but he wanted to talk about fighting. Oh, yeah. He probably wanted to relate to you. Yeah.

And I, you know, I wanted to talk to him about comedy. So it's triggering for both, right? It's because he's probably like, dude, I don't want to talk about it. All anybody talks about is comedy. I'd like to talk about fighting. All I want to talk about is comedy. He wants to talk about fighting. So we have this back and forth.

And he was vaping. He goes, my doctor said these. He smoked cigarettes. He goes, my doctor said these are actually better for you. They're not. He goes, how do you know? Fucking Google it, dude. They're not.

He goes, really? I go, no, he fucking threw it in they're not he was really i don't know he fucking threw in the trash really yeah he was great though man he was so nice again nice to me man he's a great guy goes so long dave's a sweetheart of a guy he's just uh he's a real artist you know he's like he listens to the same nina simone song he listened to the same nina simone song like six seven times in a row once before we did a show at Stubbs in Austin he just kept playing it on YouTube and so he had like the video of Nina Simone singing it and he would play it just

over the Bluetooth speaker sometimes he's like this one song he became obsessed with it was having these shows with him it's like seeing what he is an artist you know he said this is his his canvas his canvas is talking shit one of the best to ever do it man for me there's like these milestones like that you know 14 people on bum the fuck out and then chapelle rolls in you know it's like you know you're gonna fucking masters and you know stand up watch him from this guy and you're watching he's giving you tips and stuff like that even though i had to give him some fight information you know i think at the time i had to break down connor versus fucking eddie alvarez some shit i gotta pee so bad really yeah i outlasted you i drank too much water this morning

this is a first brother first yeah come back we'll be right back and we we're back. That's a first, dude. Yeah. I tap out every now and then. The thing is, man, if I work out or if I get in the sauna in particular, I tend to overdrink after the sauna. It's a real problem. Really? Oh, like water. Yeah. No, I don't mean alcohol.

Imagine. Yeah. Yeah, I can. No, but after the sauna, you fucking sweat your ass off for 25 minutes and you want to drink as much water as possible. But then it's like hour and a half after that. Since I got into stand-up, dude, I just drink these days. Yeah, I love it. Only drinking. But you look thin.

Yeah, dude, yeah. Keep your body optimized. Oh, dude, I'm at best shape I've been in. I don't know how long. Like even if you watch the special which dropped today, hashtag the gringo poppy on YouTube, thick boy YouTube. The gringo poppy. The gringo poppy.

I just light my Latin family up for 30 minutes. Oh, boy. Yeah. My girl's salt, though. She's fine with it. But if you watch that special, I was not on Carnivore. Oh. And I'm the definition of thick.

I hate this part You know this you're the same you you know, you gotta go through the edits and cut this. Yeah, I'm like fuck dude How did I not go on a diet for this fucking special? What was I thinking? You don't see yourself the way other people see you. Yeah, and then I see I'm like, oh my god But then it's like, all right. Well, at least I was thick my brand's thick boy. So I keep getting skinny There's a fine line, right? i do those but also what got me into carnivore was talking to you doing it and how great you felt like really and i you know i'm always down for something i've done every day you name it i've done it vegan keto your boy's done it but i started doing those tough mutters and i was like i need to lose some if i'm gonna run you know

a 15k marathon with all this shit i need to lose some weight so i started doing carn tough mutters and i was like i need to lose some if i'm gonna run you know a 15k marathon with all this shit i need to lose some weight so i started doing carnivore i dropped a bunch of weight and i figured once i get done with the tough mutter i'll just eat all the carbs and you know fuck the diet i felt so good i got done with the the tough mutter and was like i'm just gonna keep going let's see how long i can go and then you know here we are and then i've done two tough mutters since then they're called thick mutters now people sign up do the thick mutters with me it's me and all these fucking thickies some people dude some people get i'm like really

really you think you're gonna do this and they do really mitch roan did the last one with me did he really dude so i flew i flew in for the fight companion and he goes you're doing a tough mutter tomorrow yeah man it's the thick mutter if you want to sign up let me know i go you know So I flew in for the fight campaign. And he goes, you're doing a Tough Mudder tomorrow? I go, yeah, man. It's the Thick Mudder. If you want to sign up, let me know. I go, you know, I'm leaving at 9 if you want to ride. He goes, fuck yeah, I'll do it. This will be fun.

I go, right, right. You know, it's 15K, though, dude. So it's like right around nine miles. But it's like obstacles and shit. I'm like, yeah, it's like mud. You get electrocuted. You got to climb shit. Like, it's pretty tough, man.

He goes, no, I'll do it with you. I go, yeah, sure. Have you been running though he goes oh fuck dude i haven't ran in like eight years right right um it's gonna be tough dude he's not be fun yeah it'd be fun we start going dude shout out to mitchell for even trying it but 30 minutes and then i turn around i'm like where the fuck's? And some of the guys running with me in a thick mudder are like, oh, he told me to tell you that. He'll see you at the finish line.

And he's like, dude, I just can't. My legs are giving out. You can't do a fucking nine-mile tough mudder if you don't work out at all. Zero to 100, dude. Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy. They're so fun, man.

Yeah? Oh, they're fun. Now, when you do that, how long does it take to do nine miles uh with the courses and everything dude the electrocution sucks i know tough mother likes it you know but i fucking hate it why do they like it i i don't know i i guess it's good for like instagram social media but i fucking tough mother i can't explain this enough i hate it dude and when do you get electrocuted? There's different parts. So there's one part where

you're running and then you stop for the fucking obstacle course. And then it's just a fucking dugout hole of mud, water. And then hanging up above you is like tentacles, like wires. If you touch them, you get electrocuted. So you gotta be smart and navigate your way

through it. What? Let me see this. That's it? you get electrocuted. So you gotta be smart and navigate your way through it. What? Let me see this. That's it? Those are electrocuted? Yes. They hurt so bad. Oh my god, that dude just dove through. Yeah, that dude is me. Oh, look at you. I can't even tell your face. You're also covered in mud. I can't even recognize you.

That's hilarious. Bro. Bro. I blew out both hamstrings. Oh no, did you really yeah i ran that chapelle did chapelle my brother did it and they finish in five hours which is dead last but they finished is the point they finished five hours so now because people want to run them with me i think next one's in july or august bro that that we just saw show that again what we just saw of going up that ramp oh we got a jump yeah that is fucking gnarly dangerous oh some dude blew his kneecap shattered his kneecap doing that yeah it's so fun though dude i'm telling you that it's more about

it's not like you know you don't have to be fucking i tell people this all the time you don't have to be lance armstrong and do this it's more about doing it together. It's a team thing. It's not about- Why don't you guys just fuck? Just get together and fuck. All the guys? I'd be down for that. In the mud?

Doesn't that seem like what's happening here? Let's kill each other and get eaten by vultures. It's like the ultimate bro bonding. Oh, dude, that's tear gas. This one's tear gas. You got to go through it, hold your breath in the eyes, and rush through with tear gas. How long before women infiltrate your organization and start entering into these games? Oh, women have done it.

How many girls? Maybe five, but there's one girl. Some of the girls are badasses, dude. That's amazing. Yeah. This stuff, I crushed. Where you got to climb and stuff, I have good grip. Oh, Jesus.

But the electrical shit, that's Mark Harley. He ate shit on that. Yeah, I saw that. That's freezing cold water. It's so fun, though, dude. So who organizes this? Who puts it together? The first one I did-

Who builds the fucking holes and fills them with water? Tough Mudder does it all. They do them all over the world, dude. So you had a conversation with them and said, I'd like to do one. No, not at all. I've always wanted to do it since- My goal is to do an Ironman. All this starts with, I want to do an Ironman. Yeah? Yeah. Talk to do one. No, not at all. I've always wanted to do it since... My goal is to do an Ironman. All this starts with I want to do an Ironman.

Yeah? Yeah. Talk to Felder. Yeah, I know. You see what he's doing? Yeah, he's a monster. That motherfucker, he's changed his body. Yep.

I love him. So I just signed up for one, and then I asked my crew who wants to do it, and Mark Harley and some other guys want to do it. And then I'm there, and I'm taking pictures with everybody. i'm trying to get this the finish line i'm just bombarding pictures which is a good thing and then somebody um from the tough mutters like hey who are you i'm like you know i do stand up and i used to fight and blah blah

like oh cool and then i was like uh hey i'm gonna do another one because after i got done i'm like this one of my best things I've ever done. I was like, it'd be cool to have my fans run with me. I'll announce on the show, we'll call it the Thick Mudder. I'm like, yeah, let's do it. And then now we're just doing Thick Mudders. So when it's a Thick Mudder, it's only your fans that enter? So how many people are allowed to enter?

It's unlimited, but last time, 500 people ran with me. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah. That's crazy. Crazy. That's crazy. Crazy. But the different heats. That's a lot of people. And then there's a 15K and 5K. So who won it?

There's no winning. Who got it the fastest? There's some pros there. I don't know. There's some pros that- So you just do it? We just do it. It's such a good time.

So it's like a participation trophy. Yes. Yes. Just finishing is the win. Just getting finished and being electrocuted is the win. Yeah, it's so much fun, dude. God damn. I fucking love them, yes. Just finishing is the win. Just getting finished and being electrocuted is the win. Yeah, it's so much fun, dude. I fucking love them, man. And they do them in Austin, San Antonio, Chicago, fucking all over, dude.

Wow. There's 24-hour ones. 24-hour. That's not for me. So you can run them all throughout the night. Yeah, it's called the World's Toughest Mudder. Look at this shit. 24-hour obstacle course.

World's Toughest Mudder. Look at this shit. 24 hour obstacle course. World's Toughest Mudder. Jesus Christ. 24 hours? How many people lose use of their legs at the end of this? I'd say all of them. I feel like Cam Haines would dominate this. But my goal is to do a venture in Ironman. That's why there's so many levels to this thing.

Oh my God. They're talking, you know, they do the Moab 240. That's 238 miles. That's like one of the longest ones. I'm too big for that. They're trying to think of doing a 500-mile one. Yeah, dude, it's just too much. I'm not into that.

This is a good time. After three hours, even if you go slow, three hours, good time. Three hours is a long fucking time, man. It's a long time, dude. It's a long time. I'll tell you where i fucked up this is where i fucked up i did it in lake elsinore which is like right outside temecula so i did it there and then that night i was gonna do pop-up shows uh and surprise the fans for chris delia's show in the laugh factory san diego so i do that tough mutter and i was like i'll be fine i do that and exhausted. Dude, I get, I drive to LA and my brother goes, you want me to drive?

I'm like, no, I'm good. I'm falling asleep at the wheel. Finally, I wake up. I have all this caffeine. I get to the shows and Chris goes, you look like shit. He goes, you sure you're good? I'm like, I'm good, dude. I'm good.

Dude, you can't do it. You can't do it. You can't do a Tough Mudder and do, thank God I only did whatever 20 minutes. If it was like two, two hour shows and meet and greets, your boy would've been fucked. Yeah, you only have so much energy in your body. You know what I think about all the time when I do meet and greets is when you used to do

meet and greets with everybody after your like Chicago theater. Giant theaters and just sit there for hours meeting people. Yep. I think that all the time. Whenever, you know, I'll do what cap it at, 200 meet and greets. I go through 200, I get another show, and I'm feeling sorry for myself.

I'm like, oh, my God. Because it's a lot of energy. It's good, but it's a lot of energy. Every time, like, fucking Joey used to do this for free. And just fucking hours after the show, dude. Yep. Gangster. Yeah, it just got too weird after a while. For free and just fucking hours after the show did yep Gangster yeah, I just got too weird after a while you got the gut it reached like a threshold of

Fame that was like unmanageable. So you can't just meet everybody. Can you imagine doing it now? No, that's the problem Yeah, there was a point where I knew I had to stop doing it. When did you know? What was it? Just the engagement with the fans? It was too much. It got a little too frantic, a little too crazy. Crazy. Yeah. You know, we weren't doing it with security.

We were just using the local security at the venue. And they're dicey. Oftentimes they weren't paying attention at all. Dude, I had to sit in Kentucky. And these two guys in the front row, head to toe thick boy gear. Thick boy bike club hat, the fucking thick boy shirt, the pants. Head to toe. Wouldn't stop talking.

No. They're in the fucking, they paid VIP. They're in the front row, dude. Right. I have this gay bit about being locked down with dudes, how much better it'd be if I was locked down with my friends and we fucked each other. Right. And I start doing a gay bit in the middle of Kentucky. Dude, these boys were not having it.

And he goes, now stop with the gay shit, man. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, dude, dude. And he keeps chirping. And I go, hold up, dude. So I have to stop at this point. Now they both stand up. This is before Will Smith got slapped, you know, slapped Chris Rock. This is way before.

This is fucking eight months ago. And David Lucas is there and my brother. But there's no security, dude. Right. So in my head, I'm like, what the fuck am I? And they're just talking shit to me, and I'm lighting them up, making fun of them. And they have your clothes on. Dude, when I say clothes, I'm talking.

Full gear. Full B-Shop fans. Like thick boys, but they were skinny, so it didn't make sense. They must have done drugs in the car or whatever. So're walking out in the crowds booing them and as they're walking they want them out they're clapping i go real quick fellas you know how i know you're gay like what they turn around and i fucking light them up i'm like who's sucking whose dick when you get back to your dodge neon back there and for whatever reason that triggered him and he starts walking the stage and i went dude i'm telling you bubba you don stage and I went, dude, I'm telling you,

Bubba, you don't want to step on the stage. I'm telling you, there's nobody up here. I will fuck you up, dude. I'm telling you, dude,

come up here. See what happens. Whatever drug he's on, you know, he's like, all right, leaves. I get done with the show.

I'm, I'm so pissed. I get, I'm like, where the, I get to the back of my crew, my brother, who's my road manager and David. I'm like, where the fuck to the back of my crew, my brother, who's my road manager, and David.

I'm like, where the fuck were you guys? And they're like, we had no idea. I go, we're security. I go to the manager. I go, where the fuck's security? What are we going to do? And the lady goes, sweetheart, I'm security. I've been here 30 years. Oh, my God.

I go, you're security? She goes, yeah. I went, oh, fuck, dude. She goes, I'm sorry, baby. I thought you handled it up there. I go, but if you were going to come on stage, he goes, hopefully you can handle yourself. I'm like, that's the security? Hopefully you can handle yourself.

That's the security. That was just Kentucky. Usually they're on it. But you know what I get all the time? Almost every club drives me nuts. Man, we don't have to work tonight. You got this. The security can relax.

I'm like, what? The security guy's like, relax. Yeah. I'm like, what? No, work harder, stupid. No, dude. But that kind of situation is dangerous. If you got some guy who's walking towards the stage, you really never know why he's

that confident to do that, what's going on with him. These boys were on meth or something. It's Kentucky. They were mad because they thought that you were- Homophobic. They just hated us on our gaze. Yeah. Hated.

See, that's the thing. I was highlighting it. Right. But making fun of it in that way, like I wish I could just be hanging out with my friends. And then, you know, like it's like. The bit is they get in on it because I go, I go, man, if they lock us back down, you know how much more fun it would be if we were with the bros? You know how much more fun lockdown would be with the bros? And then I go, this is where I fucked up.

I go, fellas, think about it. And this is where i fucked up i go fellas think about and they're all in on the joke i think about dude we'd like work out right oh yeah like we play video games oh yeah i'm like and at night we'd fuck each other and dude that was just when they're like what the fuck whoa whoa but it's a joke are they mad because they don't like gay people that might be what it is well i think it or is it because they're gay and they want to pretend they don't like gay people? That might be what it is. Or is it because they're gay and they want to pretend they don't like people? There you go. And then when I said, I go, oh, you know how I know you're gay?

Because that offended you. That triggered you. I go, look at the rest of the crowd. They're always having a good time. Except for you two gays. Bro. I fucked up when I said that. These boys are not having it. These Kentucky fucking bluegrass boys were not having it. Well, I hope they fucked each other extra hard that night.

Me too. Really hope they fucking brought it home, man. Brought it home for sure. Dodge neon in the thick boy gear. The fact they bought all your stuff too and they were mad. That was so weird, dude. I had one girl in Atlanta just fucking popping off and I lit her up, dude. And I could feel the crowd turn.

You know, you can feel it, dude. We're line tam dude and I could feel the crowd turn you know we can feel it dude we're line tamers I could feel the crowd and she would she had uh she had she was it was in Atlanta so it was like an urban crowd and there's a white girl by herself and she you know she got drunk and she had a really bad dye job and uh and and you know the the one thing you know the hecklers say you know I'll stop talking when you tell a funny joke. I'm like, all right, sweetie. I got to tell you what, I'll tell a funny joke when you fix your roots, you know, just whatever. And she, her hair's all fucked up because you can tell it fucking hurt her internally. And then she would say something, the crowd start chanting roots, roots, roots. I could feel them like they were going to fucking pick this girl apart. So I go,

whoa, whoa, hold on, hold on. I can feel it. And I go, hold on. I go, are you done? I can do this all day, sweetie. I promise you. I can do this all fucking night. I have a mic. This isn't going to end well for you. I go, are we good? Can we shake on it?

And you're going to shut up? And she goes, yes. I go, everyone be nice to her. We're good. Shake hands. She's good for the rest of the show. Buy six hoodies, dude. Fucking.

She bought six hoodies? Bought six hoodies. She's probably a fan. Yeah, it's so weird because they don't know what to do it's like if a girl like knows a guy but she doesn't know him like she knows of him and he's right there like maybe she'll say something insulting to get his attention and that's what she was doing yeah it's a terrible idea dude they think they're living in a movie it's like you know i do a show with theovon and chris where all we do is make fun of each other yeah but they think they're living in a movie. It's like, you know how I do a show with Theo Vaughn and Chris where all we do is make fun of each other?

Yeah, but they think they're living in a movie. Yeah, it's like, what do you think I'm going to do to you? You have a flat ass living in Atlanta. Oh, boy. What do you think is going to happen here? You know? It's like, this is a bad idea. Can a flat ass be truly cured?

Yeah, especially now. But how much of it is genetics? Oh, all genetics, right? I mean, there's some white girls who do deadlifts and shit to build it up, but in general, it's genetics. But I would like to see what's the greatest anyone's gotten to from starting from flat. I bet there's just some dumpers out there. Right, but not fake. No, I'm talking real shit.

Me neither. But real build-up, deadlifts, know, really build up your buns, lunges. Can you build up your buns? Because it's kind of like guys with calves, right? Like if you look at like the Olympia, like the NACA. Look at John Jones. Yeah, you have those tiny little calves. Yeah, it's just his genetics.

You can't, there's not shit you can do. If your calves are small, there's nothing. Is that the same with asses? I don't know. Can you build up your arms, your chest? You for sure can make it better. But like how much time does it take to go from having a flat butt to having an extraordinary badonkadonk?

I mean, if she's eating fucking sweet potatoes and just putting the work, the deep squats, lunges, deadlift. That's one thing about Instagram that it's really showed people is how many women are out there just dedicated to having a hot ass. God bless them. God bless them. But also- Put it in the real work.

Yeah, the real work, son. Really setting a standard that a lot of those hoes don't like. They get mad when you follow one of these fucking super dedicated fitness gals with ridiculous legs and ass, and you're like, what the hell? Just put it in work, son. Work. Work. Or, you know, somebody that might be Anivar or whatever, you know.

That's the problem. A lot of those chicks are doing Anivar. And there's also filters. There's some account this girl purposely shows, like, she'll take a picture of her ass with a certain pose and filter and show the real one. And you're like, Jesus Christ, man. It's all smoke and mirrors. There is some smoke and mirrors, but there's some real asses.

Oh, there's some. There's some real asses out there. Dump and mirrors, but there's some real asses. Oh, there's some real asses out there. Dumpers, dude. Yeah, real athletic asses. If you wanted to look at it like a graph, if they were showing a chart of when the increase in insane asses came, I think a lot of it coincides with social media. Social media and the Kardashians. Kim Kardashian. For sure.

Because back in the day, asses weren't a big... Jennifer Lopez was first. Of course, Baby Got Back. Shakira. Yeah. But not like a fad. Kim made it change the game where asses were cool. She used to get shit, she says, in high school from a big dumper.

Now it's pretty cool. Well, it's like there's that kind, but then there's the kind of the athlete kind. Yeah, different ass. That's a different kind of ass. On guys and gals. You know what I'm saying? That's why those Kentucky guys want to fight me.

Yeah, but with girls it's crazy too because then they wear these shoes that accentuates it, right? So they're standing on their tippy toes walking around with their butt poking out with very little clothes on. Like the difference between what women are allowed to wear versus what men are allowed to wear is really extraordinary. Oh, extraordinary. It's funny. Can you imagine if I wore like the cut-off jean shorts like make the stallion war? Like Barone wore back in the day?

Yes! Shout out to Bar day yes shout out to baroni shout out to phil baroni classic one of the fun most fun times i ever had doing commentary was doing commentary with phil barone legend we had a good time like if i walked in here with those phil baroni make the stallion cut off you can't wear those well imagine if imagine if i on stage last night the vulcan with those fucking cut offoff jeans shorts. Maybe that's your move. That's my thing? That's my gimmick? Maybe that's your move.

Just go all the way. Wear like Timbalands with no socks. And fucking cut-off jeans shorts. Just a bad bitch on stage. And a white t-shirt on, tank top. Yeah, that's your move. Just a bad bitch. That's your move.

A bad bitch toward 2022 yeah can you imagine dude i would get booed off the fucking stage maybe guys can't do it but what if you had strong jokes oh they better be hit him out of the box with fucking banger after banger dude it'd be so distracting but isn't it it possible? If you had the material, like Mark Norman could do. He's such a good joke writer. I'd go up there with fucking... Imagine if they used you as a project. This is our idea, Brendan.

We love you. We think you're really good, but you're missing something. And we think it's a gimmick. And here's what we're going to do. We're going to put you in a couple of... We're going to put you in Daisy Dukes. Timberlands. I quit. I Daisy Dukes. Timberlands. I quit. I fucking quit, man.

Timberlands, no socks. We're going to put... No socks. Tag top. And maybe like wooden beads around your wrist. We're going to call it the bad bitch tour. Are you cool for that, man? Yeah, bad bitch tour.

No, a bunch of old school like scarves. Remember when dudes used to wear scarves around their wrists? Yeah, you mean Johnny Depp or Criss Angel? Yeah, there you go. Magicians and actors. Yeah, yeah. Dude, when we were in Atlanta, we went to this mall, and David's from there, so he's like, hey, man, be careful of that mall.

I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, they have shootings all the time, dude. It's the best mall. They have, like, fire kicks on my sneaker head. He's like, but, dude, I'm telling you, it you it's dangerous there we looked it up and there's all these shootings every week but we go you know whatever it takes to get the sneakers so me and the squad the thick boy squad go there and uh i'm there's like gangsters in there there's metal detectors everywhere there's fucking what kind of fucking mall is this, bro? I wish I could remember the name. This mall was nutsos.

The security, dude. Everybody has fucking AR-15s. Like, nuts. What? At a mall? At a mall. I go up to the guy. He was a fan.

And he was like, oh, what's up, B-Shop? What you doing here, man? I go, what's up, man? I go, why do you guys have AR-15s? He goes, oh, dude, last week they were cutting throats in the bathroom. I go, what? He goes, they're cutting throats in the bathroom. I go, what the fuck?

He goes, oh, dude, every week there's something popping here. It usually happens right outside Nordstrom, so don't go out in Nordstrom. I'm like, holy fuck. So they have a neighborhood in the mall that's the bad neighborhood? Yeah. Nordstrom's is the bad neighborhood in the mall? is don't go by nordstrom's they're cutting the throat they're cutting throats in the bathroom your boy still in the bathroom jesus yeah but so i couldn't there's like it's it's tough out there's different than la like you know i look different i'm a bigger

dude i'm not fucking shaquille o'neal, I look different. I'm a bigger dude. I'm not fucking Shaquille O'Neal, but I look different. I'm wearing what I'm wearing now. I'm walking through with some dope sneakers. And these, like, gangsters out there are staring at me. And I'm like, oh, man, we got to get the fuck out of here. These guys are eyeballing me. And my buddy, Justin Elliott, who's from Atlanta, he's been there a ton of times, he goes, no,

no, dude, this is the gay area. They don't want to fight you. They want to fuck you. This is a gay area of the mall? Yeah. Well, no. That mall attracts like a lot of gay dudes. Does the mall have a gay neighborhood as well as a bad neighborhood? Probably. Dude, it's the Wild West out there, man. Really? Yeah. Dirty South, dude.

Is that crazy? This mall's nuts. So they thought you were down to fuck. Well, that's my thing. I'm like, dude I'm like dude these guys keep looking in with his fashion sense dude they were his manicured beard yeah I was like dude these guys keep looking at me they want to fight you no no they want to fuck you yeah oh well okay well that's better than killing me yeah safer yeah yeah yeah everyone had an ass out there Atlanta don't fuck around man Atlanta. Atlanta's a fun place.

Yeah, so much fun. It's one of those cities that had one of the best comedy clubs ever in the punchline. That's where I performed. Well, the old one is gone. It doesn't exist anymore. I haven't been to the new one. Oh, man. No, that club now, it's next to a cafe.

It's old as fuck, dude. Subaru. The punchline in Atlanta? Yeah. This one's been there forever. It's literally next to a cafe. It's old as fuck, dude. Super old. The Punchline in Atlanta? Yeah. This one's been there forever. It's literally next to a diner. Small club. When you say been there forever, what does that mean?

How many years? Fuck, dude. This place is old. But the old one, I thought, went under. I don't know, dude. But this is the same Punchline that Jeff Foxworthy lives, I don't know, 20 minutes away from. So he'll go there. It's basically his comedy store.

He'll go there and just do sets. Ron White will do sets there. Yeah. They had all these pictures of Jeff Foxworthy and Ron White on the wall in the green room. I worked at the other one. I worked at the punchline for a while. That's it. Landmark Diner Punchline Comedy.

Interesting. Yeah, that's it, man. Small little stage right next to a diner that's open 24-7 well this is definitely different is that different Joe? you've been doing fucking theaters for how long? how long ago did you go?

I want to say the early 2000s weird check how long it's been open but I'm telling you Jeff Foxworthy just pops up runs his shit he's right there it's such a cool club man you know what I'm saying it, Jeff Foxworthy just pops up, runs his shit. He's right there. It's such a cool club, man. You know what I'm saying? It's like small, intimate.

Then you go to the diner afterwards. It's so much fun. That mall, you better have your head on swivel. You're going to get your throat cut or your dick sucked. Yeah, be careful. Whoa. Yeah, dude. It's just the way I dress.

Yeah. You got to be careful of the order. Yeah, I didn't know. Here's the other thing. There's a steakhouse called the Alley Steakhouse. One of the order. Yeah, I didn't know. Here's the other thing. There's a steakhouse called the Alley Steakhouse. One of the best, you know, I gotta eat carnivore, so I look for steakhouses. Right.

We go there. Chappelle Lacey, which is frowned upon in my world, will wear sweats wherever. Sweats in fucking vans. To a nice restaurant. Yeah. We go to get in, and the guy goes, uh-uh, not happening.

What do you mean? He goes, didn't you read the dress code out front? What the fuck are you talking about? The guy goes,-uh not happening and what do you mean he goes didn't you read the dress code out front what the fuck you talking about the guy goes you guys can't eat here and you know she spells a black guy i'm like what the fuck are you talking about dude he goes you can't eat here man look at the fucking dress code he goes it's right up front before he walked in i go he goes i'll show you he comes out i'm looking at says like no baggy clothes no backwards hat no fucking jerseys and i go dude why don't you say no black people the guy's like don't be like that man we can't have that shit in here we don't have that riffraff in here i'm like dude we just want a fucking steak dude and when security guards goes i know him he's good man so they let let us eat in the bar because i'm telling you if you guys

want to come how long you here i go three days man he goes yeah he can't wear sweats man all right dude one more sweats i'm heated she feels like dude it's cool man but then it's right across the street from that mall where they're slitting throats so then i was like oh they don't want that going on here it's not a racist thing because the owner was black they don't want that shit coming over here that's what he was doing super strict the sweatpants thing is a weird thing though right because like girls can basically wear vagina curtains, and dudes can't wear sweatpants? What is it?

You don't like the kind of cloth? What if I wear MC Hammer pants? Does that count as sweatpants? Remember those? Can't touch it. Do-do-do-do-do. Here's my manager. Remember Cavaricci's?

Dude, here's my manager when I was in the UFC. MC Hammer. How was that? He was cool Had some power Is he still doing that? I don't think so He invested in Uber and Facebook

Like when it jumped He's stupid rich That's nice Yeah he was a great guy That's a good story Because the story was always That MC Hammer spent all his rap money So I talked to him about that

He goes there's a difference There's MC Hammer bankrupt And then there's normal bankrupt He's like dude I wasn't broke He's like I was rich as shit, there's a difference. There's MC Hammer bankrupt, and then there's normal bankrupt. He's like, dude, I wasn't broke. He's like, I was rich as shit. But there are certain businesses, like Donald Trump. Remember when he was running for president? I think Donald Trump

was bankrupt more than I was. I found this. Okay. Moved in 2015, I think. Oh, there you go. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, it's in Buckhead. That's where that mall's at, dude. Type in Buckhead Mall, and it's going to pop up. It's notoriously known for gangster shit. That sounds like I probably won't be visiting.

Yeah, don't go there. Yeah, don't go there. I'm such a sneaky head. The old place was awesome, though. The old punchline was the shit. I think something happened, like the land got sold or some shit. Oh, dude, that's the thing about doing stand-up. Like, I'm all over, dude.

I get to experience such cool shit, man. That's why I'm excited about opening a club. It's because I used to tell comics all the time, hey, man, you got to be nice to the club owners. I go, don't think they're the enemy. You need them. You need them. You don't want to do that job.

You don't want to be a club owner. No, fuck no. you don't want to do that job you don't want to be a club owner fuck no they don't want to be comics some of them actually did want to be comics that's where it gets dicey that gets dicey they put themselves most of them are comedy fans and they they realize a way to work with comics they work with each other i go you know a lot of times like a bad relationship back or forth could be both people's problems, and it could be mitigated by either person's effort. And then now opening a club of my own, I'm like, wow. I never thought I would ever even want to do that. But when I got here, I was like, well, that seems like the right thing to do.

It seems like the thing to do is to establish a real home base. Is it more of a take-on than you thought? No. No? No. No? No. You're good? Yeah, because the real problem is always talented people, which we have. Oh, you'll get that. And the other problem is I mean, also talented people to run the club

and design the club. But then the other problem is financial. So it seems like I had to do it. It's a rare opportunity to be able to do something like that. As someone who loves comedy as much as I do. Agree. Why wouldn't I do that?

It was one of the rare moments in my life where I felt like the decision was made for me by the circumstances and just by fate, just by legacy, just laying it down. The decision was made for me. Before I. It was easy for you. It was easy. It wasn't like I debated it. I never thought maybe I shouldn't open a club out here.

It was like I'm 100% gonna open up a club. Seems natural. Yeah, and it's like what else would you wanna do? Do you wanna, it's the same thing we were talking about, you know, the whole thing about whether you would do your special on a network and be subject to their ability to distribute, their whims as far as, like, what your material is or anything else.

Well, that's kind of the same thing with a comedy club. I mean, if you could run your own comedy club and do it optimally, and then you would realize, like, I don't need anybody else to do this. But plus you've been, you came up in comedy clubs. So you have the experience, you know what works, what doesn't. So there could be a better person to do it. When I say I don't need anybody, I don't mean like the workers. You definitely need those.

I mean like another business person. Correct. I don't need like a partner. Like we could just like get together with all the other people that you need to run a club, like great bar managers and great managers and all talent coordinators and just figure it out. Let's figure it out together.

Your staff, who I know very well, you surround yourself with guys who they don't miss, man. They know exactly what the fuck they're doing. They know what they're doing and they know that I know what I'm doing and that I'm committed to this. Correct. And that we're going to have some fun.

Correct. And it's a rare opportunity to be able to build something completely from scratch. What? Nuts. Yeah, it's nuts. I mean, I think it'd be, you know, I love Austin. I have nothing against Austin. You know, you'd be successful if you opened this up in fucking Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Yeah, but I like it here. Yeah, I'm just saying, I like it here, too. Yeah. I like it here, too. I felt compelled to come here yeah i think where does that sounds no i get it i get 100 i think when i was thinking about moving out here i just um it's just not my time it didn't feel like you know you felt compelled for me i knew i had more work to do in la like you know you've been in la.A. 30 years? How long?

Yeah. In L.A. is great, man. There's nothing wrong with staying. There's nothing wrong with being in fucking Detroit. Just do the work. Put in the work. Just for me and for guys like Tony and Dylan and Segura, we were like, let's get out of here. Let's get out of here.

I mean, Dylan moved back, but yeah. Well, Tim's here. He's got a house here. Tim Dylan has a beautiful house that he just finished. For sure. Tim has a house here in New York and LA. He's crushing it. He's got several houses out here.

For sure, he's crushing it. Well, he's smart. He actually used to sell houses for a living. He knows there's a real investment opportunity out here. He's a patriot. He's crushing it. But he's out here all the time. But the point is, it's like, when we have a club out here, and we have a legitimate home base,

and we can attract people to come and hang and make it a fun place and make it something that everybody looks forward to, and you actually look forward to showing everyone your new shit when you come into town, and have that kind of environment that is that good. Oh, it's going to be great, man. But also, again again to these la comics who are like oh austin or austin's oh la the more the merrier man it's the more the merrier this can

be a hub are you kidding me there's another place we can go next place is hawaii next place we start a comedy community in hawaii 100 dude 100 there's the blue oyster out there in the if or you can do the arena but yeah hawai Hawaii would be fucking lit. You'd have to do it in Honolulu, because Honolulu has a million people. Yeah. But you could pull it off in Honolulu. You could pull it off there. That's great.

If somebody went really gangster, like if BJ Penn was a stand-up comic. Yeah, right? And what it did, it opened up his own club in Honolulu. Joe Coy crushes it out there. There's certain comics where they just fucking crush it. Joe Coy crushes it out there. There's certain comics where they just fucking crush it. Joe Coy crushes it at a lot of places. Everywhere, man. Joe Coy.

Joe Coy is crushing it at a lot of places. Yeah. It's a good time for comedy. If you just look at the amount of guys that are crushing it right now, it's a really good time. It's a good time, but it's also never been more competitive. When you think about it, like when you're coming up, like if you're on the road, let's say you're in, you're in you know where was i was in phoenix well fucking also in phoenix was another comic like there's there's a lot of competition man or the week before was christopher stephano you can think about it that way but there's no way you're ever going to tap into the sheer numbers of people that

are out there available and looking for entertainment on a regular night in a city agree if you look at a regular city you know like this is a small city. Austin has a million people, and there's only a million people outside of Austin in the general area. That's two million people, and you can see different people every night of the week in this town.

You could see Gary Clark Jr. if he's in town. You could see Suzanne Santo. You could see all these artists, Ellis Bullard. There's all these really cool musicians. There's comedy shows all over the place. There's plenty of people. There's plenty of people. A regular comedy club only seats like a big one's 500 people.

There's fucking thousands of people. They're all looking for shit to do. It's not hard to have two, three shows run at the same time. Agree. You just got to have good stuff. Got to have good stuff. So when you say it's competition, it kind of is. I'm not saying that's a bad thing though no i think that's a positive thing it's uh there's a it's a creative environment and it's always had it with music here you know

austin has always been like an amazing music amazing place for live music and still is so but now i think comedy slots right into that and it makes sense. It makes sense that we're detached from the hub of They're realizing you don't have to do it the way that everybody else used to do it where you're thinking about, oh, I don't want to say this because then I won't get a show. Oh, I want to build up until the point that I can sell my sitcom. That's all gone, guys. It's gone. And the smart guy is like, we have a close friend. I won't say who it is.

Say it. Nope. No, I won't do that to him. It's his story to tell. Okay. I mean i could don't get me wrong well people are gonna guess that's fine but he got offered a marvel movie he's like dude and when he told me i'm like you turned out a marvel movie he's like you know what shit i talk oh yeah he was and i get on there that's my homie yeah yeah it's our homie yeah he can't uh he can't be doing a Marvel movie. He's smart.

But, I mean, the beautiful thing is he doesn't have to either. He can turn down stuff, you know? Bro. And it's important to turn down stuff. It's important to know, like, what you actually want to do and how much time you actually have in a day. But then there is some guy, you know, like you look at Burt Kreischer, which I went to his house last week to do his pod. Dude. You know, usually because I text him. Not even even a flex i'm not even trying to brag here i go hey man because where

you used to live was dicey hey man i'm coming from the studio i'm in my ferrari you know can i pull into your driveway because you closed the gate you know they're used and he goes oh dude you're good i got a new house i'm like alright dude you sure you're good I promise you're good let's not blow up his house I have to piss again I drank so much water this is a milestone for me I can't lie

I'm holding it in this is a mental win this is piss warfare I'm tapping twice in a three minute round I gotta piss I'll be right back. And we're back. Yes. Do a couple piss breaks for you.

It's good. It feels good. It gets to that point where I'm like, there's no concentrating anymore. I'm just, all I'm doing is squeezing my dick muscles. Just like, yee. Which is rare for you. Yee. Because when we're doing the Calabasas Fight Campaign, I have to pee.

I'll go, right away, I go, I'm not Joe Rogan. I got to take a piss. I'm not a fucking weird fucking hairless camel. I got to take a piss. It's most of the time I plan it correctly. But the problem for me is sauna and then rehydration. And that's what you did this morning? Yeah, that's my thing. You did the sauna?

It's basically daily routine. I did a little hotel workout, man. You know, when you drop a special, you have the anxiety really bad. As I'm getting older, I have anxiety. I know, because you just poured more alcohol into a half-full glass. No, but the ice, you know, I'm with the flavor, dude. I'm all about flavor, bro. The flavor.

Flavor, bro. That's the flavor. Damn, we're about to finish that bottle son yeah finished two bottles last night you guys thought it was gonna be bullshit and then everyone starts drinking i'm like no i didn't think it was gonna be bullshit i hoped it wasn't gonna be bullshit but i was the worst when your friend is instantly surprised yeah and and happy that it was good it's it's a very good whiskey it's an interesting whiskey like i would definitely buy that yeah yeah and for me what's big you know you know, you can get it in Texas.

You can get it at Spex. That's the big thing, Spex out here. You can get it at Spex. Spex is like the local liquor store. So we're in Spex in Texas. But then we just got online with Bourbon Outfitters. Just took us online. So now people-

Is it called Bourbon Outfitters? Bourbon Outfitters. Yeah, shout out to Bourbon Outfitters. That seems like a robbery. Yeah, isn't it great? It took your boy on. Shout out to Bourbon Outfitters? Bourbon Outfitters. Yeah, shout out to Bourbon Outfitters. That seems like a robbery. Yeah, isn't it great? Yeah. It took your boy on. Shout out to Bourbon Outfitters.

That's so weird. Isn't it weird? It's like if you opened up a fucking shoe store called Bleavize. Yeah. There's Bourbon Outfitters, right? Yeah. But this is Bourbon Outfitters. Yeah.

But yeah, you can get it at thickboy.com. And then you just click on the link for the Tiger Whiskey There it is Why Tiger? Why'd you come up with Tiger? My son's name's Tiger And Thick's my brand right? It's for him man I like the eyes There's something about Tigers too

Add Tiger to anything it's cool Even Tiger Mom I didn't think Tiger was going to make a comeback You know Tiger Woods? Yeah now he's fucking back popular So they're like oh you did't think Tiger Woods was going to make a comeback, you know? Tiger Woods? Yeah, now he's fucking back popular, you know? So they're like, oh, you're doing it after Tiger Woods? I'm like, I don't fucking care about golf.

I just want something different. There's too many Mary's, Dave's, and fucking Bob's in this world, man. I want to put some pressure on them. Yeah, but that's a good name. If someone's going to be connected to something like that, that's a good name. Yeah. Tiger Woods is a bad motherfucker. Yeah, I love Tiger.

Yeah, super bad. I can't believe you haven't had him on here. What does his leg look like? He's back. He's back. It's wrapped in something. I saw a video before we started. Jamie's balls deep in this.

Yeah. Jamie was chomping at the bit for this. Jamie has bested his personal record on the speed of his drive. Ball speed. Ball speed. Big deal, dude. 180, hey. Is that really good?

What's that like? It's not bad. Tiger Woods is like 300 or something, yeah? No, no, no. 5,000. I don't think at the moment Tiger could probably say it would hurt him to try to even hit that hard. To crank it up?

Have you seen this son who swings just like him? It's fucking crazy. He said it would hurt him to shoot to 180. To swing that hard because it's about swinging hard. Oh, the torque. Is that because of his leg? Yeah. His back.

His back. Yeah, he had a really bad back problem before his leg got fucked up. And he still has the back problem. So he can't, like all the torque's going to fuck his back up. I can't say this enough for people. There's a lot of people that develop bad backs and develop back problems. There are a lot of exercises to strengthen your back. And if you don't have a back problem right now, I urge you to take care of your back.

I urge you. If you have access to a reverse hyper machine, use it. If you have access to a hyperextension machine, use that. Even deadlift helps you with your back. So does his leg. It's still wrapped up, so I'm sure it's got scars and stuff. Do we know why he crashed? Was he on some medication?

He just passed out and crashed on the fucking side of the road? I don't think there's an official explanation. Yeah, I don't think they said. The word, you know, if you have bad backs, people are always suspicious that you're taking something for your bad back. Well, he's been, right? He got busted before on name of drug.

And yeah, there was that one time that he got pulled over and he was blitzkrieged. Yeah, they say that with him, where it went kind of south is he got, became best friends with Jordan and Charles Barkley. And then they were just like, dude, this is what we do. They take pills? I guess just as far as the women and all that shit goes.

Oh, I don't know. Oh, the women thing. Yeah, he got all crazy about it. Well, that doesn't lead to pills always. But pain does. Sure. Back pain is, I think, you know, if something's squirrely with driving and, you know, there was that one time that he did get pulled over, there was a video of it, right?

Yeah, there's a video of it, and he's blitzed in Florida. There's a video of him before the injury, or pictures, I should say. Where he just falls to the ground in pain? His back was hurt so bad. He would take a swing, and he would just drop to the ground. Wow. He would still continue, and that he would just drop to the ground. Wow. He would still continue, and that's the way he's playing now. People are like, you should go get a cart so you can be out there and play.

He's like, I'm not going to do that. But, Jamie, did you hear this? He's always trying to show how tough he was to his dad. His dad was in the military. Did you hear about him training with Navy SEALs, like straight-up Navy SEALs and doing all the shit they did and fucked his knees and back up? Have you heard about this?

Well, it certainly could. if you're not doing like proper training if you're not prepared and you don't have the uh musculature to protect your spine and you start doing wild shit like log lifts and stuff and you could definitely hurt yourself bad you can herniate a disc back on what i'm fortunate man i don't have any you're fit you're fit and you're strong i mean there's there's a thing that you know like you also have a big background in not just football but then in wrestling jujitsu and mma all these things are requiring you to move your body and keep it strong and then i mean i've seen the workouts and shit you're doing online you keep everything strong the problem with people when it comes to backs is they don't treat the back like it's a specific thing that needs to be exercised through a range of motion.

You have to like, when I feel good, one of the things that I love to do is I like to smoke a little weed and then stretch. Okay. Because when I'm a little high and i stretch it's like i feel where everything's tense yeah and i feel it i'm more relaxed well it's i don't know man i just i feel like i have more communication with my tissue like i feel like yeah i feel like i can relax and stretch out more it's like when i'm high and i do yoga it's like the greatest yoga workouts i'd ever have yeah it does sound fantastic. I did, during the pandemic, there's nothing to do.

I was touring still, and I've had every fucking variant you can imagine. But I got really into deadlifting, like heavy lifting. With Bradley? Bradley Martin? At Zoo Culture, Bradley Martin, and then my boy Mark Harley was training me in Chappelle. And I was like, yeah, let's see how fucking big I can get, dude. There's nothing else to do. We're locked the fuck down. It's the only gym gym open so i just started getting fucking meathead with it i did 425 on the bench i did 225 32 times and then i was like let's see

how much i can deadlift like that was always my thing in college at least and uh we did 550 which is pretty easy now you put 600 on let's's go 600. Dude, I did 600. And, you know, Luke Thomas is like a deadlift aficionado. And even when I post, he's like, bro, be careful, man. And everyone watching was like, I mean, you did that. No grip, no ties, no chalk, just fucking guerrilla style. Why is he telling you to be careful that you don't fuck up your back? There's no need to do it so I did 600

That's not 600 that's bullshit Right But I did 600 I could feel my back just every fiber go Tighten up Bro After I did it you know I did it for the gram whatever 600 all good

Man I'm telling you I was in my GT2 which is a fucking race car i was driving home my back seized up i have to pull over get out and stretch and i was thinking myself like what are you doing dumbass right hurting yourself for what dude you know robert you know robert oberst the strong man uh yeah he's been on my podcast before he's a giant like a literal giant he tells people is that the gay guy no no no that's rob on my podcast before. He's a giant, like a literal giant. He tells people don't lift deadlifts. Is that the gay guy? No, no, no.

That's Rob Kearney. That's world's strongest gay. Shout out to my man. Yeah. Stay gay. When O-Burst was on, he was telling people, like, don't lift heavy with deadlifts. And he qualified recently. He sent me a message.

What's heavy to him, though? Well, look at the size of him, man. Robert Arborson. Ohos oh yeah i like that guy he's gigantic but he basically said like you could actually strengthen your back by doing like low weights and higher reps but it's like real heavy dead lifting real heavy dead lifting is dang i'll never do it i'm telling you i'll do now like me markley, and Chappelle, we lift, you know, basically four times a week together when we're all in L.A. Every morning at Zoo Culture. Now we'll do time sets of 315, sets of 20.

315. We don't go higher than 315. I'm the most lean, strong I've ever been, dude. Even when I was fighting, I feel great. I'm in better shape now than ever, dude. Ever. That's awesome. And really, it's all – to be honest, like, I'm not doing a fraction of cardio I did when I was fighting. Not even fucking close I'm in better shape now than ever, dude. Ever. That's awesome. And really, it's all – to be honest, like, I'm not doing a fraction of cardio I did when I was fighting.

Not even fucking close I'm in better shape. Just because I'm taking better care of my body, my diet's on point. Just older. Probably you're doing it for the right reasons, too. You're doing it just to be healthy versus to get ready for a fight. Correct. Yeah, like, it's like a better – I'm also not overdoing it.

You know what I'm saying? When I was fighting i way over trained just like i do everything i don't do anything heavy at all anymore everything i do is with kettlebells almost everything every now and then i'll pick some pick up like a hex bar and i'll do some hex bar deadlifts and some i'll do uh some some other shit but almost everything i do the heaviest weight i lift is 70 pounds the only only thing I'll go heavy on now is bench. And remember, I know you talk about bench and hurting your shoulder.

Dude, I've been lifting. I think this is why I stay injury-free, knock on wood, is because, you know, since fourth grade, I've been in those fucking gyms, man. I've been in gyms since fourth grade and doing bench. Yeah, you built a base, and then you kept it strong. So I'm good. I've never taken time off for it.

So I'll jump on, like, I'll look at the combine numbers, see what they're doing as tight ends or linebackers. I'll go, what's the highest? And then I'll see where I'm at. I'll knock out 225 easily. Easily. 25, 30, easily now. That's awesome. As long as you don't get injured.

That's the whole key. But the thing about that whole powerlifting, weight lifting world is it's going to get you. It's going to get you. If your technique's not on point. Right. And there's a lot that goes into it, especially with deadlift. But most people, it gets you. For sure.

Most people. Especially if you're being a knucklehead. That's why so many people get hurt doing CrossFit. What I really like about kettlebells, though, is it doesn't seem like it gets you very often. I can get a really good workout with the heaviest weight i'm lifting is 70 pounds yeah but i'm doing like 70 pound windmills and and gorilla cleans that's your shit i'm doing all these different things i told you this morning took a piss before i stared at your dick you look you have a dick on you dude congrats man congrats i was trying to see alex alex jones last night but he fucking

shut the door. Anyways, you're in fucking shape, dude. I've been working out a lot. You look shredded, man. You keep on with fucking cut-off jean shorts. What do you got on? No, they're fucking just- They're short, though, right?

They're short. They're short for you, though. No, they're not. A little short, dude. Bro, these are regular shorts. You got some quads on you, Danny. How dare you? These are regular shorts.

Don't lie. There's nothing short about shorts. You wear Nikes now and shit? You didn't wear a Nike? You've changed, man. I've gone to Hollywood. What have I gotten?. Don't lie. There's nothing short about shorts. Wearing Nikes now and shit? You didn't wear a Nike? You've changed, man. I've gone to Hollywood. What have I got? I don't know.

I told David Lucas last night. He was like, what'd you think? I was like, that's fucking great. I was like, Joe's basically fucking Biden. Like, there's fucking security. There's black fucking SUVs. He's a politician. It's like hanging out with a politician, dude.

Yeah, it gets sketchy. Your life has changed, man. Well, if you get to a certain level dude. Yeah, it gets sketchy. Your life has changed, man. Well, if you get to a certain level of popularity, things do get sketchy. They get weird. Yeah. Thank God you have the talent to back it up. Can you imagine if you were like a hack, like you couldn't, like your hour is shit, and then you're doing these huge arenas?

That would be a problem. You got to be your same self too, though, man. Like you got to be able to be yourself no matter how many people are watching. That's what's weird. That's when it gets uncomfortable because everybody imagines how you would do it if you were that famous but nobody really knows you don't know until you get there because it's a unique kind of pressure that unless you've experienced it you're just guessing yeah i but i you know i'm not just saying this because we're my closest friends but you were built for this man there can be a better guy for the gig.

Like, good luck. Pressure? Good luck. I know him, dude. Good luck, man. Like, you were built for this, dude. Like, there couldn't be a better guy to do this with all this shit. Anytime there's pressure, it's a unique opportunity for you to be able to express yourself in a different light.

People can see how you respond and, like, what your real feelings are to all kinds of it Also, you get to look at your accusers to meaning like if you know who a person is and then you know that someone is misrepresenting them Intentionally, yeah in the media like it's CNN or whatever it is You look at them and you go what do they really like? Like who are these people that are running this what kind of weird petty woke people yeah why are they doing things they're doing this yeah and what kind of delusional perspective on reality do they have where they think this is going to work because it does the opposite of work correct yeah especially with your situation i woke up this and i don't know i used to get older and you know a business and be careful what you ask for with thick boy studios.

You have employees and you have boss, you know, boss now, like there's a lot that goes into it, dude. Yeah. I'm a bot. What?

I got to run this fucking thing. So it's like you're putting out a million fires and then I, you know, I just did, I guess cause I'm old. I have kids like my anxieties through the roof, man. Like I woke up this morning cause my special,

you know, even with the tough mutters and everything and anxieties through the roof you wouldn't believe it dude well you're doing something difficult you know when when things are difficult and there's a lot of unknown a lot of unknowns factor in when you're doing things that are difficult and that is you know especially when you're a father and you're a provider and you have a career and it's kind of a crazy career that you patch together. Once you are already a professional athlete and then all of a sudden you're doing this podcasting thing. It's natural to have anxiety. But meditation is probably a good option for you.

Like find some time during the day and sit alone and just think about your breathing. That's what I did this morning before I came here. It's good yeah it's one of the things i love the most about yoga is that yoga forces you to just think about your own bullshit while you're going through all these crazy poses and trying to especially hot yoga it's fucking tough dude it's so challenging and if you can just fight that you know inner demons like dude let's get the fuck out of it it's 120 degrees you're on this stupid pose it's like nah nah nah nah it's uniquely challenging it really is

but it's also like uniquely ancient right like people figured out a long time ago that's really good for you a long fucking time ago yeah and no pun intended I don't like to advocate drugs for everything, but for yoga, marijuana and yoga are like long-lost lovers.

They don't even know. They don't even know. Well, that's like whiskey and stand-up. Yeah, but if you get marijuana and yoga together, I'm telling you, they're like, oh, my God. It's a tango, dude. Together. Together we're one.

Yeah, peanut butter and jelly, daddy. Marijuana, like when I was talking about how I like stretching when I'm high, that's just like static. It's just static. You're just pulling tissue apart

and you're getting a feel for things. But when you're actually going through poses and holding poses and concentrating on breathing and just concentrating on your balance and your drip and sweat, there's something about marijuana that makes that magical. It makes it like getting high and going to yoga is one of the most transcendent experiences

a person can have in a normal city without like completely losing their fucking mind. You can change your perspective. And if you do it a lot, if you do it on a regular basis, you can change the way you think about everything. Have you gotten to shrooms at all? Oh, yes. Microdosing shrooms? I was doing a lot of shrooms when I got canceled.

When I got canceled, like from the time I got- Why? Because I wanted to see. Let's see what happens. Let's throw some mushrooms at it. And did it make it better? Yeah. I was so much more relaxed.

And how much when all the cancel, also being canceled is hilarious, but no one's canceling you. But when all that shit storm was coming, I mean, I would talk to you. Yeah. You were fine. Yeah, you just stay offline. You just didn't pay attention to it? Yeah, I just don't.

How'd you deal with it? Deal with yourself. Do other things that are also difficult with me. A lot of it is always my workouts are always crazy difficult Yes, and then these sauna sessions and cold plunge sessions and all this different shit that I always do anyway and then You know let it pass over Yeah, I think I woke up this morning with anxiety like I did a workout and then drank some whiskey and then did my nicotine. Dude, I'm on so much shit. That stuff is so nasty.

I don't know why you keep that in your mouth. Bro, what are you talking about? Jamie and I bailed. You guys are bitches. How long did you keep it in your mouth for? Ten seconds before you. Ten seconds? No, no, no.

Just before him, by me. Come on. What are we doing here? You still have it in there? Oh, of course. I'll go through a can a day, dude. I'm obsessed with it. And this is Barry.

The mango and the lemon fire. The cinnamon. Let me try one more time. Yeah, there we go. That's the spirit, dude. Yeah, but I woke up this morning with fucking anxiety. I popped.

I'm going to prepare myself. I did four. I do four at a time. I did four rogues at a time. A little whiskey. Four at a time? That's insane. That's insane. I'm doing one. Yeah foul

Yeah, all right here. We go. Yeah, let's do this doesn't taste bad. It's the it's like strong. Yeah What are we doing if you're gonna do it do it the tingle? Yeah, you can do it do it. What are we doing? Yeah, dude, these on stage don't you know I take him out for stage I don't be a distraction to be a mile right before but yeah, dude, I struggle with English as it is. Right. I don't need that to fucking liability. Delicious. Now, you might leave here and try some others.

Yeah. There's nothing as tasty as this. That's why I fuck with these. What is it? Rogue. Rogue, dude. Guaranteed, you'll never find anything better. You're going to do all these other ones.

I was good for about 45 seconds earlier. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. They're not lying because your boy goes through a can a day. I like cigars. I'm a fan of the cigars. Yeah, but I woke up this morning, and maybe it adds to my anxiety. I do four of those at a time.

I do seven shots of espresso. That's not good either. So, yeah, just hear me out here do seven shots of espresso. That's not good either. So yeah, just hear me out here. Seven shots of espresso. That. Had some whiskey. What kind of lumberyard shit are you taking? That many of these rogues and seven shots of espresso. You must be

like one of those fucking trucks that trips over into a river and just unloads logs you want to hear my process yeah hey kids my process of stand-up so i do that and then i only eat red meat my cholesterol and blood pressure through the roof but uh and then i did a workout i did a workout and then i was like uh and again i I think it through my years of sports at a high level, and I was just like, you've done your best, man. There's nothing I can do.

You've done your very best. This is the best I have, dude. We've done everything we can, the promotion, the marketing side of it. Now it's not on me. And I just felt like this freedom a little bit. But now the anxiety's back. But for a hot second, the anxiety was gone. You just got to get through it,

and then this is going to be an awesome little milestone for you to show how much better you got from the first one and show that you're working. That's all I want to show, yeah. And one thing that's really important to note is that any time you watch anyone do stand-up on a video, that is maybe, at its best, 60% to 70 percent of

what it's like to experience that live correct live is so much better for stand-up mm-hmm I mean if you think about like bring the pain excuse me bring the pain or bigger and blacker to Chris rocks earlier masterpieces can imagine what it would be like to be there in that audience live while he was filming that and just slaying? Bro, you remember when Martin Lawrence was Martin Lawrence? I used to have to follow him. I've told you about that.

I used to have to follow him in the 90s. I used to eat dick after dick. When he was Martin Lawrence, bro. Yes, when he was wearing leather jumpsuits. Bro. I used to have to follow him and I wasn't that good I mean I just was not ready to be following him

it was just one of those Mitzi Shore things Mitzi Shore knew how to test you as a comic and with me it's like if anyone big from out of town any major headliner any movie star and they're doing stand up I'm going on after them I think that's the athlete in us.

I think that's the competitive athlete advantage we have is doing stand-up. I'm the exact same way. But Mitzi made me do it. Sure. I'm telling you, even if she didn't make you do it, I bet you would do it. I bet your DNA, you would rise to the occasion.

Whether it went good or bad, you'd want that for yourself because you know From with training partners when I was going through camp whether it's cro-cop Gonzaga Mitrione LeVar Johnson, whoever the fuck is Ben Rothwell I would I wouldn't shy away from the toughest challenge because I knew that would make me better right so with stand-up It's like yeah, let me go after Rogan or D'Elia or Theo or Joey Diaz I know like yeah, it might not go great for me, but I know it's... That's how you're going to grow. That's how I'm going to grow as a comic.

Same thing the other night with Louis C.K. You look at the lineup, and David Lucas followed him. Yeah. And David Lucas loved him to fucking death. He's the best. But, you know, he's always on his phone. He didn't realize he was following Louis C.K. And he's back, you know, all the comics are watching him. He's still on his phone. You know, what the fuck heis ck and he's back you know all the comics

are watching me still on his phone you know what the fuck he does and he goes oh shit i'm next it hit him like five minutes for him to go on he goes oh shit i'm next oh yeah dude by design because you're gonna you louis dark and dirty you're dark and dirty but you fucking you're a machine gun dude so if you just fire off the from the jump, that's what you're going to do. He's going to warm him up, crush. You're going to follow that, dude. And he had just such a breakthrough. I'm telling you, man, me and David have never hugged before.

He came in the back of the green room. We embraced like you won the fucking Super Bowl, dude. That's awesome. I grabbed his big ass, and he's lost weight too, man. Has he? Yeah. He talked about that last night, about that set, how big of a set it was. For a young comic to follow a guy like Louis,

that's a big deal. Breakthrough. Yeah, and it's also like the Louis that you're experiencing now, is like the Louis that had everything taken away from him and now he's back to what he really is, which is just a really funny, really talented comic. Like all of his craziness in the past is you know put

it aside like what you're getting when you watch him on stage is a really really talented stand-up who's only focused on that not doing other stuff there's only three guys that uh four i'd say five who knows but as far as like just at as the craft you know if you're watching football it's tom brady watching basketball it's fucking lebron or you if you're watching football, it's Tom Brady. You're watching basketball, it's fucking LeBron or whoever. In stand-up, it's like you. Yeah, you want to see a guy like him. Yeah, it's like you, Louie, Joey, Diaz, Chris Rock's brother. What's his name?

Tony. Tony. Tony Rock's a murderer. Bro. Murderer. Dude, I know a lot of people give him his credit. I've never seen anybody crush harder in the main room. That's a comedy store.

Tony Rock is the guy that has the opposite thing. There's a whole thing where if you say that, oh, you're Chris Rock's brother. Oh, you got an easy road to the comedy. It's the opposite. Bro. Tony Rock should be way more famous than he is. I think one of the things that held Tony Rock back is that he's Chris Rock's brother. When your brother's one of the greatest of all time.

Tough follow. People don't realize how good he is. As far as a writer goes? Top of the food chain. Dude. Top of the food chain stand up. A monster. Yeah, a monster.

Dude, in the main room. I've stood back. Murderer. I went on right before him. I got off. I watched from the back. I'm've stood back there. Murderer. I went on right before him. I got off. I watched from the back. I'm like, I want to see Chris. I apologize for this.

I was like, oh, I want to see Chris Rock's brother. I want to see what he has. Hopefully he's good. It's Chris Rock's fucking brother. Dude, I've never, you know, I've been around the comic store as a fucking fan, as a comic. I've seen some sets, man. I've never seen anybody, including Joey Diaz, who brings a, man. I've never seen anybody including Joey Diaz who brings a house down.

I've never seen anybody. Then Tony Rock Kill Harder. It was a Sarah Mello show on a fucking Tuesday night. Crush Harder in my life. There's levels, man. There's a certain level that you can't achieve. You can't get past. There's a certain level of fun.

You got a ceiling, dude. I watched that and watched them went holy fuck there's certain guys yeah yeah sometimes i'll watch neil brand the way he writes britney schmidt the way that she writes you know you you look at like holy fuck dude well that's the beauty of being surrounded by talented people so you do get to see all these different ways of doing it. I just really think that it's important that we respect this thing as an art form because it's kind of like loosely connected to any structure. Everybody's just running around, doing their own thing, doing shows. And one of the things that I was thinking about with this club is that I just want everybody to know that there's something valuable about looking at this as an art form and looking

at this as like, this should be studied. And there's a lot of information that we could pass on to each other. And there's a lot of information that we could pass on to people in the future because it's not as documented in terms of like the way it's loved. It's not nearly as documented as a lot of the other art forms that are loved. It's not. Because it's more complicated to achieve success at. There's maybe, maybe a thousand comedians on earth worth of fuck.

I think even a thousand. No, I don't. But maybe. Let's just get crazy and say maybe there's a bunch of people that I don't know about. How many authors are there? Oh, I know. There's a lot more. Musicians?

How many musicians? How many doctors? How many lawyers? Actors? i know there's a lot more musicians how many musicians how many doctors how many lawyers yeah there's a lot more it is a weird strange road and one of the most difficult roads in all of show business to achieve success through it's a strange road and i don't think it's been documented enough i don't think we've spent enough time talking about it like amongst each other and in a way that is like like where a young person coming up can watch like a whole series of conversations that just pertain to the development of your act the life of your career how things emerged how it started where you went wrong where you went right what changed things for the better but now the material's out there man it's all documented like

someone could put it together. You've had enough. Are you tapping out? I tapped out. How long did I have it in there? Four deep, daddy. Four deep. Shout out to Rogue. I gotta eat the fuck out of here.

Let's run this down. My brother, I love you. Congratulations on your special. Thank you, man. Tell everybody it's on YouTube, Thick Boy. Thick Boy YouTube is where it's at. It's the Gringo Poppy. If you use the hashtag the Gringo Poppy and you post whatever you're watching

it, we're going to blast that out. Our favorite viewing party picture on Instagram, use the hashtag the Gringo Poppy. You get a signed bottle of Tiger Thicke and a signed poster of the Gringo Poppy, the official poster. And when is it out? It's out today. Thursday morning 9am. It dropped on YouTube.

Thicke Boy YouTube. There it is, dude. We're at 70,005 hours, so we're doing the goddamn thing, dude. It's out today today Thursday morning 9 a.m. It dropped on YouTube sick boy YouTube there 5 hours so we're doing the damn thing dude beautiful not bad and shot in Dallas if you want the whiskey go to thick boy Com you see it there shot bourbon outfitters. They're the one who are supplying it, but I love you, man I love you Charlotte next May 5th to the 7th. Where's your Comedy dates, what's your best website to go to? Thickboy.com or F-A-T-K-Z.com. And everything is on Thickboy. Food Truck Diaries, Shop Show, King's Thing in the Wing.

Keep hustling. Keep hustling, Brendan Schaub. I love it. Can't stop, won't stop. Love you, man. Bye, everybody. The Green Girl Poppy. Angel Papi.