The Joe Rogan Experience - #1823 - Neal Brennan

Episode Date: May 25, 2022

Neal Brennan is a stand-up comedian, actor, writer, director and producer. Catch his one-man show, "Neal Brennan: Unacceptable," on tour this year. https://www.nealbrennan.com/

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. Hey, buddy. What's going on? What are you doing? You're slowly opening that bottle. This is the same podcast we used to do in your basement, right? Basically.

Yeah, it's just a little different. Same one, just scaled out? It's not much different in terms of how to do it. What happened to it? I was wondering what happened to it. And then I got an email that said your friend Joe's doing a podcast in Austin. Congrats, buddy. Thanks, man.

You don't seem to care that much, which I like. What does that mean? You just did like, I'm the same person. You've never been especially like susceptible to, I feel like fame was eased on you like incrementally and then like a lot at once, but you were so used to the, you're just like, yeah, I can handle it.

It's a, it's weird. It's not, it's not normal. It's definitely not. Uh, you don't want to take it all in one shot. Like if you like a Demi Lovato type character

or some young celebrity I fucking pity those people so much under 30 you have no chance I don't know how they do I mean I got on television when I was 26 or 27 the first show that I ever did and I wasn't famous you know I was like oh there's a guy that i think i might have saw you on tv right and then it's like slowly over time built to fear factor and then the ufc and then ultimately the podcast and then you know then the latest version of the podcast which is just impossible to handle if you're a normal person that just went right into that you would lose your fucking mind you wouldn't you wouldn't be able to adjust you've developed antibodies to yeah you know what's happening you're like oh you know yeah when someone's hovering you know when like this guy well you you know what they want that's the picture that's the bummer the not the pictures are fine that the the bummer is when

people want things from you like they want to talk to you about some fucking thing that they're doing. Their issue. A startup. And, oh, man. You know, like the idea that I would have enough time to do that with you. So, you know, like people just come to you with their projects or they want you to invest in their company. And, like, I don't have time for that. And, like, well, you don't need to pay attention.

Like, that's how you go broke. That's how you go broke. Oh, yeah, yeah. need to pay attention like that's how you go broke that's how you go bro oh yeah yeah no like i have people yeah that i and then suddenly i look at my bottom line at some point like wait where's all that money go to the car wash or something even dumber to the topless car wash yeah some solar company that you're starting up uh and you're uh can you tell me about Austin quickly? I love it. It's great.

People are super friendly really kind there's way less of them. Traffic is a joke. It's ridiculous. They think traffic's bad. It's funny. It's funny.

Their traffic bad is like it took me five extra minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's there's a thing that happens when you get too many people. It's like you don't care about them anymore anymore they become a burden and that's what happens when you get the 405 at like four in the afternoon you're like fuck this yeah where it's just like you can't believe you have to get to redondo you resent everyone everyone literally everyone

ambulance driver fucking everyone i went to visit a friend of mine and he was down uh like i think it was like Newport Beach. And it took me three hours to get there. I was like, this is fucking insane. This should be a 45 minute drive. Ian Edwards has been doing a joke about how he started driving places during COVID. Yeah. To see how long it took.

To see how long it really takes. Yeah. So goddamn funny. But that's LA. It's just unnecessary. It's takes. Yeah. So goddamn funny. But that's LA. It's just unnecessary. It's unnecessary. And I'm like completely removed from regular Hollywood now. So there's no reason to be there.

Yeah. Well, regular Hollywood is kind of, yeah, like sort of like what, I don't even know what that is. When people go, we're doing a movie. I mean, Comedy Central's a production company at this point they're like barely a tv station they're like uh what do they have on so they have south park in the daily show those are the only things that are like stalwarts and and they're both on paramount plus and they're you can get them in a bunch of places and Hulu and yeah so I think they they are they basically cancelled most of their stuff

and sold it to Warner Brothers to they sold like all their library to Netflix and HBO Max so I don't know what they are they They just, I mean, the writing was on the wall. When I saw what happened with Ari and This Is Not Happening, when they fucked that up, I was like, Jesus Christ. And that was about him doing an hour for them, right? It was about him doing an hour for Netflix. He got an offer for Netflix, which was more money and more exposure and a bigger deal, and he decided to do that.

And by the way, this is a special that he produced himself Self-produced bought it You know paid for it did the whole thing and they said that if you do it at Netflix Even though he was legally able to do it at Netflix. Yeah contractually able to do it at Netflix If you do it at Netflix, we're gonna cancel your show He's like you fucking cunt. Well, what's fucked up is I know other people on Comedy Central that were able to go to Netflix Oh, yeah, and they were just like yeah You're you know, I don't know what the deal was why they decided to do it that way with him

But you know he had gotten to the point where he was willing to Pay he was gonna pay for the production costs in terms of like everyone's salaries He was gonna take out a loan because he was so upset that they were going to lose their their money like ari's a really good guy yeah i agree i know he does some cunty things sometimes like like he'll do he'll put be silly he's trying to he'll dose you or whatever around your family he's doing that to try to be outrageous he's not he's a good guy which is the one of the things that bums me out so much when he does something outrageous but he's he thinks a lot about other people and this is one

of those cases like he was like i'm gonna take out a loan and i'm going to pay everyone's salary because there was you know whatever shows they were obligated for 10 episodes or whatever all those people had counted on that money and he was really bummed out that they were obligated for, 10 episodes or whatever, all those people had counted on that money. And he was really bummed out that they were going to lose that money. And also, like, he was not going to give in to this bullying. Like, them saying that they're going to cancel his show, if he goes over to Netflix, he goes, well, then you're going to fucking cancel the show.

Yeah. Like, fuck you. Yeah. This is stupid. And then they didn't. They didn't. Well, they went with Roy Wood, you know, Roy Wood Jr. Who's all great a great man Yeah, a great guy great comic perfect guy for the show if it wasn't re show you know I mean he's perfect

But like to be there when re created that show in the improv lab back when the lab was a real lab Remember was that shitty little dark room in the back which is really pretty good till they kind of fucked it up Well they would did it have a bar in it? It did. Because that bar is a fucking nightmare. It's a nightmare. I've literally only bombed in there. Only bombed. One night, me and Seinfeld bombed back to back.

I went from the intro. I did it a month ago, bombed, Aziz bombed, Dan Levy, but we're just bombing. Aziz said it was maybe his least favorite crowd in 20 years of comedy. It's the worst room. The setup is so bad. And I did the improv, the regular improv, and crushed.

And I had a buddy of mine with me. And I'm like, I'm going to do a set next door. You want to go see that? And he went and watched me crush and then bomb back to back. He's like, what the fuck? I go, I know, right? Crazy. You did the cold plunge in the lab. It was so bad. It's like, what the fuck? I go, I know, right? Crazy. You did the cold plunge in the left.

It was so bad. It's such a bad room. It's like the door is right there next to the stage. It opens up constantly. The bar is- The bar is to the left. But it's also, the room is 45% bar. Yeah, it's outrageous.

It's way too big. And they had two years to fix it during COVID. Yeah. And they didn't do anything. They didn't do a damn thing we will not fix it they should they should make that bar a tiny part of that room it needs to be a tiny part because you only have 90 fucking seats at most times i'd go 40 yeah like yeah maybe 50 it was a good move when when ari had done uh this is not happening there i I think it was like just, he would name each episode

based on what the subject was. Like Psychedelica would be one, you know, War Stories would be another. And you would, you know, go and tell your stories there. And Ari said,

you know, I've got to come up with a way to work out stories to use in sets. So what am I going to do is have a storyteller show. Pretty fucking brilliant idea yep and he set it up there and i watched him for years develop that and then eventually take it to

the store and then eventually take it on the road and then eventually sell it to comedy central and he was a fuck it was a great idea it was a great show and they fucked it up they fucked it up with one petty little move it was also never really on Comedy Central, right? Wasn't it just on their YouTube? No, it was on the YouTube and then it went to Comedy Central. Got called up to the big leagues. Got called up to the big leagues And you know he had a billboard on Sunset and he had a billboard on Sunset Right when his special because he had a special coming out. No No, no the billboard on Sun sunset was his show and it was right

when he was feuding with Howard Stern mm-hmm so like it was one of the fun things that he did as he took because Howard Stern was like who the fuck is this guy by the way I thought about it the other day Ari was right what do you mean he was saying like podcasts of the future well he was I don't remember basically like you're a dinosaur yes satellite radio but I don't think that's what he was pissed off about yeah so that's what it was was this is not happening and and then his special was coming out that Friday on Netflix that's what it was but he had it was something else that he was making fun of Howard Stern about.

I don't think it was necessarily his stance on podcasts, but boy, was he wrong about that. Yeah. Stern had decided that podcasts were a waste. I remember him mocking podcasts back in the day and he was like, you know, you can't make any money. And I was like, you don't know what the fuck you're talking. You literally don't know what you're fucking talking about. Yeah.

I wonder what he thinks of you, your Spotify shit. I don't know. It's like, yeah. I don't know what you're fucking talking about. Yeah, I wonder what he thinks of your Spotify shit. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, he's making a lot of money still, but it's a weird situation. The whole SiriusXM thing is a weird situation because you get it for free in your car. And someone was telling me, I think Fitzsimmons was telling me they count the subscriptions. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. The giveaways. Yeah. They count as sales. And it's like, Is it a sale? Well they count as subscribers And then But here's the thing man

If Stern leaves They better pay him Cause if Stern leaves They have to pay He is it That's it If he leaves They're fucked

Like they're legitimately fucked And he was Like him being on satellite Felt like Very removed from culture Whereas I was afraid That was gonna happen to you On Spotify I was hoping that was gonna happen to me him being on satellite felt like very removed from culture. Whereas I was afraid that was going to happen to you on Spotify. I was hoping that was going to happen to me.

I was trying to get about 10% less famous. I 100% believe you. And didn't really work. No. Didn't work with you. Like it didn't because you're still on YouTube. And that's where a lot of people watch you. It's that, but it also coincided with COVID. And a lot of people had a lot of free time and there's just a reality to things that you

listen to all the time you get addicted to them it wasn't that hard it wasn't like you needed to get satellite radio like you just needed a different app and you were probably using the app anyway and people are using spotify anyway it's the number one app for podcasts in the world so when or at least now at least so when i went over there it just you know i was hoping i would become obscure whoops i would rather just take the fucking money and just and just be able to move around easier you know yeah so when i said off the air it was like you're at the level now where there's a like the levels of fame where you have to you just park near the trash yeah where you have to go through the service entrance you

come into the kitchen yeah you have and every you just get like vomit it smells like vomit and old garbage everywhere you everywhere you want to know like congratulations i remember one time i was partying with dave in uh Denver. We did a show together. And then Dave knows these weird after-hour spots. And I'm like, where are we going? In every city on Earth. Every city. So we're going down this dark hallway, right?

And I'm like, where the fuck? And then we go into this room. And it's literally like a John Wick movie. Like, you open this door. It's like a secret bar. And it's not a big bar. It was small. It was like a 30 or 40 seat bar,

but it was beautiful, like opulent, really nicely done, like expensive liquor. I go, this is crazy. What is this? Women with perfect skin and were like racially ambiguous.

Strange music playing. You can't even fucking Shazam it. Yeah, like no it's don't bother Don't bother my friend everyone pleasure my friend who works there But we went to this place and they told him he couldn't smoke in there. It was really funny Goodbye, I got all this and that'll do it. He tried to spark a joint and they're like no you can't smoke in here Look what? Yeah, this is no there's no one here. This is literally a secret bar.

You have Dave Chappelle smoking weed in your secret bar. You should be happy. Don't want it. We don't know why. We don't want it. But those little weird spots that he knows, he knows them everywhere. Yeah. But he's been that famous for so long.

He's got to move around like that. It's the last six years, I'd say. Since the Netflix stuff. And since he came back. Yeah. Like after he took the 10 years off and then came back. His sabbatical. Yeah, the sabbatical, which is interesting.

Well, it increased his legend. Yeah. Well, he's the guy who actually walked away. Nobody really does walk away from the money. Publicly. Yeah. It's like most people just take it. I think Gandolfini did.

Really? At one point, yeah. For what? What show? Sopranos? Yeah. There was a day, like, his contract was, he wanted a raise. It was, I was aware of it as it was happening.

Yeah? And then he he they shut down for like six eight weeks oh where he was ready to quit yeah oh wow it was just like a contract to speed and he got everybody more money but but yeah like he he was you know you're because you see how much uh yeah gave sopranos co-stars 33 000 each after hbo contract dispute wow he agreed on a 13 million dollar contract with hbo after requesting 20 million per season after season three wow yeah but he he like wasn't he's like I'm not coming in interesting Yeah well

What happens with those shows is the network and the executives and the production company realized that there's a big windfall When this motherfucker is over and it's gonna continue forever I'm gonna be able to sell those DVDs you're gonna be a sell the streaming. It's gonna be there's no streaming back back then It was all DVDs. Yeah, And they the windfall will last forever and you could be short-sighted as an actor and not recognize that this is something like the honeymooners That's just gonna exist in the ether forever and someone always gonna be selling it and buying well That's the thing like Seinfeld friends Seinfeld Those license those syndication deals are every three years.

So when they go, Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld got $100 million. It's like, they got $100 million a bunch of times. Yeah. Quietly. It's every three or four years. And then they sold it to Hulu, Netflix. And then all these streaming places started showing up and HBO Plus. And there was no exclusivity. Yeah. Fucking no it's great but it is interesting that like there's this like

weird moment where everyone's trying to figure out like how much can they take like negotiate how much they can but with a guy like gandolfini is like you don't have a show if I leave yeah and also they pretend they can't lie right it's like guys I can see how much money this is made like right now I can see it if I go to the I remember I'm sure somebody will say in the comments how long it take for him to bring Chappelle up, you brought him up. Let the record tell. Don't read the comments. Let the record, I know, I know. The, when we, we were the number one selling show on DVD. We didn't know, we didn't think about it.

Literally never thought about it. And then they put the DVD out and we're like, oh cool, they put the DVD out and then we opened up some paper and it was number one and we're like, oh, cool. They put the DVE out. And then we opened up some paper and it was number one. And we're like, number one, $20 a pop. How many? And then you start going like, well, wait, I'm making.

No, this is wrong. Right. This is fucked up. And then you have to then you renegotiate. Yeah. But you were lucky in that you had You had these existing numbers That someone could audit And find out

Like no no no he gets this many YouTube views he gets this many Streams Yeah that's what's so much more interesting about this versus Netflix Cause Netflix doesn't tell you jack shit Like when you do a special on Netflix There you go they just go good job Good job we like it

How's it doing it It's doing good. What does that mean? It's doing very good. Yeah. What the fuck does that mean? Yeah. But if it's on YouTube, you can go, oh, look at the numbers. It's right there.

Yeah. 50 million. Look at that. There you go. It's 50 million downloads. Thank you, Elon Musk. If you look at iTunes, you can get your downloads. You know what you're getting.

Yeah. With certain services, you have no idea Streams and god bless I mean Netflix is starting to talk about a little bit Yeah, they don't have to tell you though, but they really don't feel max That what it is is HBO Max or HBO go what is it they change their name you go yeah? They was go then it became max Transition I'm not touching that but you You're not getting into that.

I'm not getting into that. Joe, I'm not touching that. But you just did. No, I did. But you did. So, and how is your, so you like Austin? I love it. Great. Yeah, it's great.

I love doing comedy here, too. The fucking crowds are amazing. It's been so much fun. Better? Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's no entitled douchebags here. It's like all the stuff that was gross about the agents and the managers and the network actors that would come to shows.

All that's gone. Yeah. It doesn't exist. Just regular people. Yeah. And they're fun. Yeah, I did a show last night. What'd you do last night?

I did the Cretan Cave. Oh, the Cretan Cave's great. I'm there tonight. Oh, great. Yeah. Ari's there last night. I did the creek and cave. Oh the creek and cave. I'm there tonight. Oh great Yeah, Ari's there too Ari's running his this new special that he's doing Jew He's doing what's the special called? This is the special that he was working on before the the Kobe Bryant incident I forgot I literally was like why didn't you shoot it and he was like oh

I forgot I literally was like why didn't you shoot it and he was like oh Yeah, so it was fucking sharp. I'm curious to see it tonight. I'm gonna go watch He said he's shortened some setups and change some good. It was really good before you know I just don't you know this thing when you like revisit something after you haven't even touched it in years And then you go because he had like it was almost like a like a one-man show you know like a performance piece it was basically set because we had talked about this for a long time because he had a really weird upbringing upbringing was he orthodox or something yes oh god okay um and you know he went to israel and stayed and you know uh yeah they did the whole deal where they would read the Talmud every day for 12 hours a day. He was super until he lost his religion and then became sort of a renegade.

That's one of the reasons why he's so crazy. It's like his childhood was so... Him and Metzger. Kurt Metzger did a similar thing. Yes, very similar. Very similar. He was a Jehovah Witness. Yeah.

Yeah. Where they feel trapped in this Well Metzger's great at that too because Metzger recognizes culty shit early on like he was like He was one of the first guys calling this woke stuff cult like he's like they're in a cult He goes I know what a cult is he goes I fucking grew up in one He goes all this shit is like you can't question it You can't look at it any other way other than the way they tell you to look at it's fucking cult stuff yeah and this was and he was saying this eight years ago you know he's always been ahead of that yeah because he had yeah i mean he had a special called

white precious what else do you need to know he's so funny i love that fucking like he's one of those like pound for pound like joke writers like oh my God. Fucking nuclear. And him together with Kyle. Oh, my God. Fantastic. Yeah. Alec Baldwin is my favorite. Oh, my God. They're all great.

The fucking Biden was amazing. Boston, Massachusetts. Dunnigan's a fucking wizard too, man. His voices are out of control. That Bill Maher. Bill Maher threatened to leave if we played it because he had one with him in a gangbang he's like i'll leave if you play it i'll leave uh i like more i love i love bill i know that's what he's like and i love kyle but he's gonna

i mean he was probably half joking anyway, but you know how it is. He's a little sensitive. But I think Maher is a very important guy, and I think he's been killing it lately. He really has been. His monologues. Because he's really like an old school liberal. He hasn't changed his stance on things. He's always been progressive, always been open-minded.

But he's one of those guys that has the courage to go what the fuck are you guys talking about and also what's going on and he also will point out like and which is the thing i've been thinking about a lot lately it's like hey liberals i'm liberal this is not uh uh persuasive right what the way you're approaching this is the opposite of persuasive you're really turning turning everyone off. Yeah. And I'm, I'm with you. And it's like, but they, it feels like they don't care about persuasion. Feels like they just care about being right.

And they care about righteousness. And it's like, yeah, but you gotta, you know, Martin Luther King kind of had to sell people on the shit, had to sell white people on the shit. And he,

I always point out the fact that Martin Luther King had God. Yeah. he was a reverend for real yeah like so he had like he had god on his side so to speak whereas it feels like liberals just have like guilt there's no persuasion mechanism you know other than like you should okay i'm a human being my default is not to uh righteousness and generosity well it's not just that it's like the left all of a sudden embraced violence like uh when antifa became the like the strong arm of the left and people were supporting it like on cnn like it was no big deal that these people were like trying to light courthouses on fire like do you not see where the fuck this is going like this they're not doing this for a logical reason. They're doing this because people love to smash things

Yeah, and the way they're expressing it. He's found a different reason. Yeah, and like remember on CNN I mean Chris Cuomo saying where does it say that? Protests have to be peaceful. Hey, you fuck the two cunt like what are you talking about? How about if someone protests you don't you want to be peaceful? Yeah, are you cool with people being violent as long as it's not directed in your direction well quietly yeah everyone's fine with the worst version of stuff as long as it's not aimed at them that's why they're pushing for war in ukraine like we need to go there and help you know institute of no flies i'm like the fuck are you talking about you want to go to war with

russia yeah you're out of your fucking mind i was i didn't do a joke but uh where where um zolensky was like hey can you guys um come help us and america's like no we don't want to be involved in world war three and they're like please please come be in world war three like no it's a fucking that would be a huge issue they're talking about us uh defending taiwan now that i was reading an article about that today about bush or biden rather biden bush biden saying that he would uh offer support if china invaded taiwan i'm like what the are we doing i actually think that the ukraine is like a good it's positive in terms of like everyone thought russia wasn't this like you know huge

Fighting force and it turned out to be very disorganized and fucked up. It's very disorganized very fucked up And according to people that I'm friends with it. We're talking about the weapons One of the problems is there's so much corruption mm-hmm in Russia Yeah Their weapon systems are fucked like and they Because they were charging for the latest. They're skimping, cutting corners, making dog shit weapons. And on top of that, the style of warfare that they have to engage in because of the way the ground is there. They have to go on these roads.

So all the Ukrainians do is get to the side of the road and wait for them to come towards them and then fucking shoot them. It really looks like a fucking nightmare. Doesn't it? Yeah. Like, wow, you really have to want what you're fighting for. And Russia, it's kind of an, it's not even kind of, it's elective. It's not, it's not existential in any way. It's just like, yeah, you want to fuck them up?

Yeah, let's go. Let's go fuck them up. Yeah. And on top of that, Putin supposedly has cancer. Yeah. It's like, Jesus Christ. Like, And on top of that, Putin supposedly has cancer. Yeah. It's like, Jesus Christ. Like, how do you get a guy like that out of power? And the guy who takes over, like, who the fuck is he?

And is he going to be worse? I've read things like where Putin has it rigged for like only he knows how to do everything. Like a guy who's like he does. He knows all the knobs and all that what all the remotes do So no one can move in of course. He's been running Russia for how long now more than 20 years Yeah, which is insane, but it's probably how you get good at run I've been saying this like that look it's bad to have a dictator But it's not good to have someone come in new on the job every four years for the most important job in the world

Mm-hmm Because you don't know what the fuck you're doing and then by the time you figure out what you're doing you're two years in and all you're concentrating on is getting re-elected so you're i completely agree and i mean except i don't fix the alternative right but what's the alternative is we have a dictator which sucks you can't have that if it's like having tenure as a professor you know there's so many professors that are total cunts because they have tenure. They literally can't get fired. So they can say the most outrageous shit and they can be terrible at teaching.

They don't care. They're just free now. Well, most of the professors I know are just like they happen to get tenure and like fucking cool. It's like you get guaranteed $55,000 a year job. Well, it's also you don't have to worry about whether or not you're going to get fired. You know, there's some professors that have proposed some pretty outrageous shit and they can't get rid of them because they have tenure. Like there's this guy, Peter Duesberg. He's a professor of biology at the University of California, Berkeley.

And he was one of the guys that I had on early in the podcast. It was like really controversial because the Spin magazine did an article about him years ago and I'm a young person what's a magazine it was um he was proposing that HIV was not the cause of AIDS but that HIV was a weak virus that only existed because the people's immune systems were already compromised. And he was proposing that they were compromised from drugs and that if you looked at the cases where people had AIDS, the vast majority of them were heavy drug users. Like they were doing party drugs and amyl nitrate and poppers and crystal meth and all

that shit And he was saying that that stuff destroys your immune system Widely dismissed by the scientific community. I mean all the other doctors completely disagreed with them There was a lot of literature that showed that he was completely incorrect But that guy's a tenured professor who's done like really rock-solid work on cancer and some other things But he's still a tenured professor. He just fucked up just fucked up one thing i don't know i don't you know i think most likely there's a kernel of truth in what he's saying in that drugs do compromise your immune system and if you do get hiv while you're doing all these drugs you are going to have a compromised immune system and you're fucked and

then on top of that you are also like when you're doing a lot of drugs and you're partying and stuff like that, that's probably you're more likely to get HIV because you're taking chances. You're doing risky things because you're- You're fucking popping it off. You're lightening it up. Like monkeypox. The guys who get-

There was an article that I put on Twitter. Who is getting monkeypox? Nobody. Nobody. But how is it being transmitted? It's fucking hard to get, man. the guys who get there was a article that i put who is getting monkey pop nobody nobody but like how is it being transmitted it's fucking hard to get man like you have to like it's sexually transmitted in some cases oh is it really yeah but i don't think it's this thing that we have to worry about like the amount of people that die of it is less than the amount of people that die

of covid it's way harder to get than covid is oh i'm not worried about monkey pox i'm just more curious like what is what is this it just like makes you look like shit like you grow bubbles all over or something but is it and you get a fever I don't know I don't know but let's find out let's find out together worst case scenario for monkeypox I'm sure it kills

some people but like what has to be wrong with you for you to die from monkeypox I think it's it's probably just like I've read Fever and Sores, which seems like. Yeah, partying. Seems like, yeah, I mean, it really sounds like Miami to me. Well, these guys that got it in, was it Belgium? There was a thing that I put on my Instagram where these guys wound up getting it from having risky sex.

wound up getting it from having risky sex. Yeah, they were... Yeah, World Health Organization's emergency department said that the leading theory was sexual transmission among gay and bisexual men at two raves held in Spain and Belgium. Fucking dudes. Man, are they having a time over there?

Dudes, you can't get pregnant. Both viruses can cause flu-like symptoms, but monkeypox also triggers enlarged lymph nodes as well and eventually distinctive fluid-filled lesions on the face, hands, and feet. Most people recover from monkeypox in a few weeks without treatment. This feels like once most people recover from monkeypox

in a few weeks without treatment it's like i shouldn't know about this yeah you should know about this like this is useless well i think the amount of people that have gotten monkey pox is very small yeah i mean i think it's like less than 50. let's let's let's ask this how many people have got monkey pox because when i was looking at it they were they were tracking there was at one point that was 11 cases that they're aware of of monkey pox in this one area I'm like that's it's definitely like clickable like it'll make me click on it it's a fun it's got monkey and it's got pox yeah pox is bad yeah a pox in your society your hands your feet a epoxy on your feet. Sounds bad.

But it's just they're running out of stuff to scare people about. At least 160 confirmed. Oh, 160 in the whole world. I like how they call it a non-African country. Why is that? Why non-African? That means it's spread out of Africa?

All 10 of those cases have been in Europe. All 10 of those cases have been in Europe. 56 in the UK, 41 in Spain, 37 in Portugal, where they were butt fucking. And 10 of those cases have been in Europe. 56 in the UK, 41 in Spain, 37 in Portugal, where they were butt fucking. And 37 single digit cases counts in Austria, Belgium, Denmark, France, Germany, Italy, and the Netherlands, Sweden, and Switzerland, all guys who butt fucked in Africa or wherever, wherever they were at a rave. Yeah. It's not that bad, man. What?

Prairie dogs. Four times as many countries outside of Africa. Who the fuck is a prairie dog? Why do they keep mentioning Africa? Like, why are they saying... I guess because that's where monkeys come from. Or some monkeys, other than South America. In India, four times as many countries outside of Africa

have reported monkey pox this month. It must have originated in Africa. Than have in the previous 50 years. Oh, so it's been around a while. Until recently, the largest outbreak in the Western Hemisphere was in 2003 when pet prairie dogs infected 47 people in the US. Who the fuck has a pet prairie dog?

Who's keeping a pet? Get a dog, you fuck. What's the difference? The prairie dog and a regular dog? A regular dog's your difference? The prairie dog and a regular dog? Yeah. A regular dog is your friend. A prairie dog is a little wild animal that digs holes in the ground. Cows step in them and snap their legs.

Those aren't like the sheep, the ones that herd sheep for you? No, no, no. A prairie dog is a weird dog. I mean, a weird rodent that digs holes in the ground. It's like a squirrel, yeah. Yeah. They have to shoot them on farms. They set up rifles with long have to shoot them on farms.

Like, they set up rifles with, like, long-range scopes on them and shoot them. Because when these prairie dogs leave their holes, cows and horses step in those holes. Because it's, you know, the size of their foot. And snap their legs. Snap their own legs. Okay. Yeah. They break their legs in these prairie dog holes. They're a real fucking problem on farms and ranches. they also gave us monkey box and they gave us monkey fuck them

fuck them twice i wonder if you could eat them they're probably not even delicious um and uh oh did i have a question did uh let's segue into ayahuasca real quick. Oh boy. Did Ron White explain more about how he quit drinking or he just quit? Well, he needed to. Oh, of course. But I'm saying like, was that, did he, did he have a heart? Did he like have DT? Did he just, did he have any sort of withdrawal or? No, not really.

Um, he, um, he had to quit for a while before they would let him do ayahuasca. Did he just did he have any sort of withdrawal or no not really? he He had to quit for a while before they would let him do ayahuasca Mmm, cuz he was yeah, he was around white. He was 50 years of every day. Yeah, that's real Yeah, like but here's what's interesting He's sharp as a fucking tack now on stage. I mean, he is fucking excellent. Ron White is a great comic. He's a great comic. He's always been a great comic. Really good comic.

But I think he's even better. I think he's even better now. He's so sharp. He's so sharp. And he's been microdosing mushrooms. Well, apparently Jim Jefferies stopped drinking, too, and said he's better than he's ever been. Really? Yeah.

Interesting. Yeah. Well, I mean, look, drinking alleviates fear, but sometimes fear is good for you. It keeps you sharp Yeah, and in exchange for the alleviation of fear it dulls your senses in some ways Mm-hmm, but it also there's things that it does that are good There's there's little doors that open up when I have a couple of drinks where I'm like what? What the fuck is that? And then you start talking about something that you might not talk about or you see something in a way that you might not see it or you laugh at something you might not laugh at.

And I think it's beneficial. I think alcohol in moderation has benefits to it. I don't drink to excess, though. I mean, I do on the podcast sometimes. I've had some podcasts with some guys. Yeah. The one we do with Shane Gillis, Mark Norman, and Ari, we do this thing called Protect Our Parks.

Uh-huh. And we do it like every couple months. And we get obliterated. I mean obliterated. Shane drank 15 beers. 15. In a three-hour podcast. 15.

And he didn't even piss. He just puts them. He's a big fuck. Yeah. And he just puts them down. Big football playing ogre. Just keeps down and down in Bud Light. I'm like Jesus Christ man. That isn't sick He had a stack of beers over there I'm like I can't imagine drinking that in a month and you just drank it in three hours

Do you bring his own cooler? No, we got it for him. We had him all on ice from we know when he's coming Yeah, and so we get cases like literally he drank more than a case himself What the fuck, man? And was he, like, obliterated? Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. He was very, very, I mean, he was obliterated, but still hilarious. Yeah.

And very much, you know, aware. Yeah, there are guys that, if you have a good brain and you add alcohol, some good shit can happen. That's him. He can do that. He can put it away he He puts it away and can still be hilarious and is silly and he gets he gets a little aggressive He gets a little aggressive like a punch are in his shoulder every now and then yeah

Yeah, but in a fun way, you know But uh, yeah But other than that like the podcast is without a doubt the drunkest I ever get in my life, ever, is during the podcast. Because sometimes we'll get, we'll be three hours in and I'm like, oh my God, I'm struggling to say a sentence correctly.

Like I'm struggling to hide my slurring. And then Ari has to take over? And Ari takes over, yeah. I'm going to tell you guys what to do. I'm going to tell you guys what's going on. Rub-a-rub-a-joo-joo-joo-joo-joo. I'm going to see Jew tonight. I'm excited because he's running it at 8 p.m.

And then we have a show there at 10. But he said it's really tight. He's really, really happy with it. And he's going to film June 10th and 11th in Brooklyn. Is that right? Or is it 11th and 12th? One of those. I think it's 10th and whatever the Friday. What days? What days are those? Is that even Friday

and Saturday? Where are you? You got a new hour? I mean, you must have been on a lot, right? Yeah, I got a comedy baby. I got to shit out, buddy. Yeah, I was going to say, you've had it for a while, right? I got to get rid of this comedy baby. You probably had an hour before COVID. Yeah, it was ready. It was ready before COVID, but it's better off that I didn't do it then because honestly one thing that I've learned

Is that you know? This is thing where you want to do a new hour as quickly as you can cuz kind of impressive and when Louie was At the top of his game actually, I'm gonna say that I don't think that's correct I think Louie's at the top of his game right now. I totally agree. I think he's at the top of his game right now because I think he has a freedom that comes from all this shit. His last two specials have been excellent. The one that he won the Emmy for, I texted him, and I said, the one you won the Emmy for is great. I go, but I think the new one's even better.

The new one's better, yeah. It's better. It's really fucking good. And I go, I hope you win for that, too. But the point is, it's like when you're that sharp, you get that sharp over time. And for me, when Louis was doing his ones every year, I think it was a little too much.

I agree. I think you need two, and this one has given me more than three. And because of the more than three, I've added a lot of stuff to it and I've tightened things up and changed things. And i've also like there's stuff like i could say this and it would be like more palatable yeah and or yeah and you also just go i don't want to do that bit yeah you get tired you just go like i don't want to say that i have better things to say than that yes and then there's ones that you're like this is like juice is not worth a squeeze in this bit i gotta let it go yeah you gotta know when to let them like do're like, this is, like, juice is not worth a squeeze in this bit. I got to let it go. Yeah.

You got to know when to let them. Like, do I like doing this or am I being stubborn? Am I trying to figure out how to make this work? Or am I being, like, crafty and, like, you know, I don't want to waste food. You know what I mean? Like, I don't want to waste this bit. I wrote the bit. It can fill five minutes. It's fucking funny. Like, I don't think it waste this bit. I wrote the bit. It can fill five minutes. It's fucking funny.

Like, I don't think it's not funny. Right. But it's just not as good as everything else. Yeah, and some bits, it's like they don't match. You know, like you're wearing certain kinds of clothes, and then a bit is a neon orange hat. You know, it works. But it doesn't fit with the other stuff,

and you've got to try to figure out how to shoehorn that bit into the other pieces. Or just cut it. Yeah yeah cutting it sometimes is the best thing and sometimes i'll revisit them like years later i've got like a stack of bits that never made it on specials that i should probably go try to find and maybe see if i could like rework them because there's like a few of them that were really good but for whatever reason i couldn't get them on a special i did it didn't fit in act. I was trying to keep it down to an hour. Whatever the reasons were, I just decided to stop doing them.

And then the some that I wish I could do again because I didn't do them as good as I could have. Those are the ones that haunt you. They haunt you. They haunt you. I've watched people's specials and thought of a tag or thought of a thing they could have done. And sometimes I'll tell them. I told Dion Cole one and he was like fuck i did with norman too i had one where he was like oh or no uh brian simpson i had a i had a fix for one of his jokes and he was like i'm so mad i just shouldn't have told him

uh and he's like i'm gonna show you the next time i have an hour i'll show it to you before i'm like yeah good because i don't So you'd already filmed it. Yeah. When guys had already filmed stuff. Yeah. It's like, do you tell them? Well, have you ever done a, a filming and then you have a new tag right after and it's the better tag.

You're like, fuck. Yeah. Fuck. Yep. Oh, well. Remember Hedberg? Hedberg, uh, did that and then did the same joke again and explained that he has a new tag for it and then did the tag.

That's fucking great. He's like, that was the new part. Yeah, I was at his half hour, that bad half hour that he saved into him and my brother taped the same night and Hedberg was just eating shit. And he started talking about it, eating shit. And I think they made it longer or something

or like it's a great it was for comedy central and it was a great thing because he just owned up to the fact that like this isn't going good that guy's so fucking he would be so popular now like the internet is just patrice and him i always, man, those guys. Patrice got a little internet love, but they'd be so much, the magnifying, the amplification of YouTube and shit would have completely served both sides. Patrice would be the king of the world. He would be the king of the world. Yeah.

He would. He would be running podcasts. He would be the guy that everybody wanted to listen to their take. Do you imagine his take on Amber Heard? On this crazy Johnny Depp trial? the guy that everybody wanted to listen to their take. Do you imagine his take on Amber Heard? Mm. Mm. Yeah. On this crazy Johnny Depp trial? Patrice would be on fire.

Did you believe any of the stuff they said about Depp in the trial? Because all you guys, I was barely watching it. I was seeing more reaction videos, and it was, like, very anti-her. And then they started presenting shit against him, and I was like, like ah this doesn't sound great either. Yeah, here's my take Sorry this black rifle coffee, it's filled with caffeine, but it's also got some kind of milk product in it and it gives me phlegm unfortunately If you're doing that much coke and you're drinking and you're with a girl who punches you in the face, the idea that you are a monk through that and that you're not participating in some of the screaming and yelling and the chaos, that doesn't seem logical.

It seems like a guy who is really peaceful and really calm all the time would never get involved with someone that volatile and crazy in the first week that's what you would hope right but that you don't but knowing human nature you know he probably liked it he probably engaged he probably got caught up who fucking knows they obviously had a chaotic relationship it doesn't none of it seems like fun no but it sounds the locations are incredible oh yeah like now is this on the private island no this is in the this is in the blimp where we would travel the thing is there's clearly some deception going on and that's why this is like a valuable insight for people because people like that exist people like that where they try to change reality to suit them and make you look like a monster to make them look like a victim so that they can gain

some sort of social credit or attention usually those things you can get away with those things if you don't talk too much like you get away with those things if it's just as long as you don't go to trial as long as someone doesn't actually hear you talk about stuff. Because when you start talking about stuff, if you're full of shit like that, it seems full of shit. It seems full of shit to everybody. There's a vibe that people give off when they're not being truthful about something like that. When you're really just, you know you're doing something to someone. You're trying to ruin them with lies.

And now you're getting confronted by it and you realize it's overcome your whole life. Instead of it being a thing that you got away with and then moved on to the next thing, because there's that expression about beauty, beauty is a short-lived tyranny. And when you're that hot, and that crazy, and probably really fun to be around,

when she likes you, I bet it's so much fun. Yeah. Right? She's obviously, she's got these very intelligent, super successful guys, and she had them chasing her around. She must have been a spectacular person to be around when she was fun. Mm-hmm.

But you guys are doing coke, and you're drinking, and you're going crazy, and you get to you get to hear the versions of the story that just don't make sense and you go oh this is this is just bullshit they're both they both sound it sounds bad like if half of it's true in both directions i'm like this feels like a tie for last doesn't feel like there's a way. I guess Johnny wins in that. He seems like a nicer guy. He seems like a nicer guy. He also, people, you see him on TV, you're like, I fucking like this guy.

Yeah. I like this. I miss having Johnny Depp in the movies. I think. But it seemed, and it seemed like, let's scorch the earth. And he's like, well, fuck it. If we're going to scorch the earth, let's just scorch it if we're gonna scorch the earth let's just scorch it and maybe because he hasn't worked in five years and he was losing jobs yeah cuz of it and you know he then he had that lawsuit

with the UK newspaper where they called him a wife beater and he sued them and lost yeah and that became a big issue I think he lost gigs because that's what this whole trials about but what's crazy about that is like, you're not proving that he was a domestic abuser. You're proving that it's okay for you to say that because he might've been. Like, what did they actually prove? That's what I'm saying.

There's no, it's like, there's no, obviously the audience, we won. What a six week trial. Jesus Christ, it's been insane. What a fucking spectacle. It's like there's no, obviously the audience, we won. What a six-week trial. Jesus Christ, it's been insane. What a fucking spectacle. It's amazing. Gorgeous, two gorgeous people going head to head. I should also apologize to the woman Camille.

Her name is Camille. I said her name was Claire the other day. I think it was I. Claire Vasquez, Johnny Depps. The lawyer. She's amazing. That lady's incredible. But yeah, it seems like. said claire again didn't i

i did god damn it it's fucking weed her name is uh it's camille right it's camille it's camille uh camille vasquez thank you yeah i apologize to her for fucking up her name she's that woman's a beast when she's questioning when they're going over the thing about whether or not you gave the money away to charity yeah yeah i pledged the money that's not what i said that's not my question yeah and you're like oh shit yeah i've not yeah i've not no i have not given it but it's because then i had to cover this trial there's something about the way she turns to the jury and says it's like what is going on here because this is not a real person Yeah, like this is like psycho shit. Yeah, what is that? What's that way of communicating? But this is what it was gonna get to no one looks good in those situation Like neither one of us I'm saying like but no one can you already Johnny already looked so bad that he was probably like well

Let's have you look bad a little bit. I think I don't think so I think he wanted to he wanted people to see what the relationship was like as much as it's possible to do so. Like, this is what I was dealing with. Like, this is the craziness. Now you see. Because he probably knew when people would see her, if you would confront her with all the facts like we've seen,

they'd be like, oh, my God, this is like a criminal enterprise. What did you do? She's not on the up and up. it's not on the up and up it's not on the up and up it's like what no what exactly are you saying can we verify that well no i didn't yeah yeah the just the whole pledge the money thing if that's the way you're addressing reality where you can just make words do different things than they really do you know you've said, I gave away the money. I don't want his money. I gave it away. Yeah.

And then she had a year and a half to give it away and did give it away. Didn't at all. Didn't give shit. Yeah. It's hilarious. I mean, it's probably hard. Someone's got to give you $7 million. You got it in the bank and give it away.

Why did I say I would do that? I'll just give them a little and see if they shut the fuck up yeah and they were like nope over time and i'll make the interest if you publicly decide like that you know that you're gonna give away johnny's money because you don't want it like you kind of have to now but she didn't want to but that's just you know those people exist man you can get stuck with them you know they're guys that try to get you to loan them money because they've got an amazing deal and and some poor girl just says okay i mean i really believe in you baby and just bilks her yeah that shit happens all the time yeah then they move on to the next they move on to the next. They move on to the next. It's just bad humans. It's con artists.

It's people. And what, yeah. Mentally ill people, too. It's pure mental illness. They're fucking all that bad vegan documentary. And there's the Tinder swindler. Just fucking crazy dudes. Crazy dudes.

Crazy. There's a lot of them out there. I did a joke that if you want to if you borrow a hundred dollars from your girl that's not sexy if you borrow a hundred thousand from your girl that shit is very sexy they love that shit do you know the eliza story right the yale yes that is one of the wildest stories ever yeah she told the whole story on the podcast. I was riveted. She didn't give him any money though, right? No. But this guy pretended he went to Yale and pretended he lived in a place where he didn't.

He made up all this shit about his life and she found out after they had already been dating. They were deep into a relationship. She was having sex with a fucking complete con artist. Just a bullshit artist who made up his past. Yeah. And she slowly would expose it. Terrifying. Jesus Christ.

Because you want to take people at their word. Right, but imagine if you were in love with a woman. You met her. Like, wow, she's the one. And then you just have the best time. You have great sex time you have great sex you have similar interests she's funny you eat dinners together you have wonderful conversations and then you find out she's full of shit then you find out like well but everyone's a little

full of shit what if she has a fake accent what if she's faking you can tell what she's faking she's from brazil you can you can tell there's always like yeah there's always a little i'm very proud of myself one time i went to a guy's there was an accountant in the late 90s who was like an accountant to the stars and he was like and he was having parties and all this shit and uh and i went to his house and it was like way too nice and uh i somebody called me when i was leaving and i go i just went to a guy's house he's going to jail and six months later he was in jail it was a guy named dana jacquetto was the guy's name and he was the accountant to like dicaprio and stiller and he was like a cool accountant and it was like you don't want a cool accountant you fucking morons no no no and sure enough he went it was fucking great oh my god he went to

jail that's hilarious that's I have three great calls like that Cosby I never liked uh I used to argue with Dave about it it's like no it's not a good guy and uh tiger tiger woods walked past dave did something with tiger woods in 2002 and tiger woods walked past me and i my first thought was that guy fucks a lot and i was absolutely right it took a long time for it to come out, but it was like, you don't have shoulders like that. And wasted on one person. His shoulders? Dude, his shoulders.

He's got a V like a mutt. Well, isn't he the first real super athlete slash golf player? He was the first golfer to exercise right but like not just exercise but yes like really exercise yes yes but do you think that contributed to his back issues or do you think it's just that the sheer amount of torque he puts in his swing the there were a few articles and documentaries he would train he was training with Navy SEALs. Like off, like he'd go to Pendleton or something. What? Yes.

Really? Yes. And that's where his injury started. Oh. He tore something training with the SEALs. And his life is so mysterious and like sort of secretive. But that came out. Interesting.

And there's a picture with him. So that's how he hurt his back? I think he hurt his knee, and then it becomes like a compensation. Wow. Almost quit golf in his prime to become a Navy SEAL. Oh, my God. Tiger Woods argued with the greatest golfer to ever play in the PGA Tour, but he almost cut his career short in the middle of his prime

to join the military. That's right. Woods nearly walked away from the sport he dominated in 2006 to become a Navy SEAL. Thankfully, though, he stuck to golf. Wow. That's fucking crazy. Yeah, his dad was a SEAL and he would like

go to Coronado Bud's compound then he started training himself and then he he tore something and then it's a then it's a domino effect well I know Jamie knows a shit load about Tiger Woods Jamie does he fuck a? Jamie is a golfing fiend. He's got machines out there. He swings balls and he has it into a net. Yeah. So he's got like a thing set up where it measures his speed.

You paid for that, Joe. No, I didn't. Really? Jamie, my money. It's funny. Jamie, throw it on the fucking... Hide it, Jamie. Well, now everybody knows I got it. But you're like, he's pretty much a golf fiend since we moved to Texas.

Jamie's become a full on fiend. Yeah, Tiger's back now. How's his leg? How is his leg? Actually, not good. Not good? Yeah. Yeah, he gets fatigued.

He doesn't have like, I feel like the muscles are gone. And so he can only a lot of it's walking like he could swing but it's you know he had to he couldn't he was fucking they almost had to chop off the leg apparently yeah so when you're in that sort of a state is that something he can recover from do you know um i? I think it would have been easier when he was 30. Right. Now he's 47, 48, even with blood spinning and all that shit.

I think he'll... Eight years ago had a disectomy. Microdisectomy to deal with a pinched nerve, yeah, back surgery that had been troubling him in recent years. This means that Woods will not be participating in the Masters instead of recovering from surgery. So 2014 is when he had the back issue.

Those things are tricky. Those micro-dissectomies, they're tricky. Especially when what you do for a living is physical. Well, you're reducing the amount of disc space you have, and I think people have fixed bulging discs with other options. But I think you also can't do it and be that active like if he's got a bulging lower back they make it what is it so they do a fusion and then basically the thing that should be sort of well i know a little bit about this

because i've had some spine issues so his his disc was bulging right and one of the options for fixing bulging discs is they trim the stuff that's poking out and then it's touching the bone no no it's disc tissue okay it's like the soft cushiony tissue in between the spinal column right there's the spinal bones and then in between is this cushy stuff that's your disc sometimes it gets herniated and Sometimes it gets herniated. And when it gets herniated, like, can you hurt your back really bad?

It pokes out, and it touches a nerve. And it can give you sciatica. Like, that's what sciatica is, that sciatic nerve. That's a nerve most likely being pinched by something. When you say it's poking out, it's probably poking in, right? Because it's poking into the body. Right, but it's poking out of its cavity. Right, but in your body.

Yeah, so, like, it's range, right? The normal range out of its cavity like the area yeah so like it's range right the normal range is it sits there like a cushion and then when it bulges it pokes out like this and it makes the disc closer to each other and there's ways that you can decompress your spine there's there's centers where they work on it they put you on machines that give you like very subtle and like relaxing spinal decompression it's. It's not even uncomfortable. And then there's also yoga. There's also a thing called Regenikine that I had when I had a bulging disc, which is this very complicated form of platelet-rich plasma.

They pioneered it in Germany. That's when Peyton Manning was going there. Well, they do it in America now, and I had it done in Santa Monica. They take your own blood out. They spin it in a centrifuge. They treat it for 10 hours. And then they re-inject it. It's this super potent anti-inflammatory medication.

But it's made out of your own blood. Your body completely accepts it. And they inject it into the spot, right? They inject it right into where it was. And for me, it worked like magic. It also worked for Dean Del Rey. Dean Del Rey had it done when he had a bulging disc. That's what he got put in. This is what Kobe dot. I mean Tiger got put in. Yeah, you got this

Implant put in his spine. Whoa, bro. Yeah Holy shit, that's funny. That looks terrifying. It's like a new Pixar movie. Just imagine. Oh Jesus Christ man Look at that. So here's the problem with those, though. It looks like a hinge, kind of a hinge. Well, if it is a hinge, that's probably better if it moves a little because they have these titanium ones that I have a couple of friends who have gotten them done. Aljamain Sterling, who we were talking about earlier, he actually had his spine done like that

where he's got one of his discs have been replaced with an artificial disc chris weidman same thing there's like quite a few fighters i know that have had discs replaced but uh it's tricky business man you know sometimes you need it but uh sometimes things can be mitigated with uh other ways i know rolfing i know guys who've had a bulging disc that they had a because everything was like so tight in the area they had a good I know rolfing. I know guys who've had bulging discs. Because everything was so tight in the area, they had a good experience with rolfers, which are really intense,

massage-like, painful. I got rolfed, and it led to a very weird diagnosis. The rolfer I went to, his wife did cranial sacral therapy, which is like your neck, head, kind of spatial massage, realignment, whatever. He said, he's telling me about his wife, and he goes, she handles people that have divergent vision,

and I go, I have that. And he's like, what do you mean? I go, I think I know what that is and I think I have it. What is it? Okay, so I remembered my dad. I'd be talking to my dad sometimes and he'd have one eye closed and then I noticed that I started doing it to people. I'd have one eye closed.

Basically, you have two eyes and they create a unified field of vision. I have two eyes and I see one and a half. Oh, wow. So at a certain point, my left eye just shut off. So if you close your right eye, what happens? Well, no, it'll come back on, but my brain will not. My brain is just right eye. So your brain is always just trying to look out of

your right eye right eye all that's the only like signal it recognizes so like that joke in wayne's world camera number one camera number two camera i literally thought that's what everyone's vision was like so basically i've spent the last almost year turning my left eye on. Jesus. And so basically, with Oculus, it's a 3D Oculus exercises that I have to do every day, basically. And it's like picking fruit. It's like a 3D puzzle that unless your left eyes turn on, you can't play or you can't be good at. And slowly, but so now I'm at the phase where like both my eyes are turned on.

But it's one and a half. And then at a certain point, it will fuse into one image. And the doctor told me, the guy that I went to said that like he's like i have patients that you know i can't say who did it but carl lewis told me that the sprinter said that i could tell people he had it done and it like it was like he wasn't racing anymore but he's like i was jumping too early oh whoa because i didn't have depth perception yeah uh shit like that where it's like it's not apparently i don't have 3d vision i so i just do it based on other i don't know like i didn't know i didn't um but it was fucking fascinating that i was just my right eye all

the time you know michael bisping no who's's that? He was the UFC middleweight champion. Okay. He fought his last 10 fights with one eye. He lied about being able to see out of his eye. He would memorize charts, and he would just get doctors to pass things. He'd pretend he could read things. Did his head position change in fights? Did anyone know?

Well, he always fought with his left left hand forward his right eye is the one that went blind and it's oh that's probably better yeah it's easier i mean he didn't always he could switch stances but he would fight with his uh left foot forward predominantly and you know he had a really good left hook which is how he won the title but uh that guy fought 10 fights blind how did he lose the did he lose it in a fight yeah he um he got kicked in the head um and uh got a detached retina and then had surgery on that and then had subsequent injuries and then eventually it got kept getting worse and worse and it got to the point where now he said um he could only tell like if the light is on or off like he could tell if someone switched the light on or off like he could tell if someone

switched the light on or off but he can't see anything in that eye in that eye yeah yeah like my i have to kind of it's fucking crazy that i can be talking to you and switch that is crazy like i'm only right eye now and the left is soft and now i just went over to the left well i would also assume that like you would think that everybody sees stuff the way you do because that's the only way you've ever and then the minute he said it i was like that i have that that makes sense because i've been thinking about a little bit like what is that thing with my how come nobody else talks about no one you should bring it up on stage hey you know how you know you can't you see one and a half uh and you can switch between

which eye you're seeing out of without bling you just oh that's crazy go this is now i'm dominant right now i'm dominant left well you know i do a lot of archery and when you do archery most of the time i keep my left eye closed because i'm looking at this like thing called a peep sight and i'm looking at only through my right eye because i just want to concentrate on it keeping everything like perfectly well it's got to be how i you you showed me the range earlier so it's 40 yards that ranges yeah the okay so the trajectory of the arrow or the whatever you call it in this case is it the same does it meander or is it like it's it can the velocity keeps it on the same trajectory well it's not the velocity that keeps it on the same trajectory but

there's there's uh fletchings which you know you'd think of as feathers with or the the back end okay and there's uh there's different configurations and different configurations provide more stability. Like some, I use a four fletch configuration. And so you have four things steering the arrow, and then you have broad heads that are designed to fly well. They're designed to have good aerodynamic characteristics. And there's like things about the shapes of the broad heads. There's a lot of debate about that. But the bottom line is then it's about the shapes of the broad heads there's a lot of debate about that but the bottom line is then it's about the spine of the arrow how stiff the arrow is depending upon how much force the bow has you're going to need a stiffer spined arrow because you

want a little bit of flex yeah because it'll be i'll slow mo it's a little flex but i'm wondering You're aiming at the bullseye and the trajectory is from the exit to the bullseye is like... As it keeps going, it's going to straighten out more. That's the whole idea about the fletchings and the whole idea about the spine of the shaft. And when you shoot and you release an arrow, it's got all this force coming off of that string, right? And that's what's causing it to wiggle. Like as the knock releases and then the arrow releases from the bow, it's going to wiggle, but it's going to eventually straighten out pretty much. It's not going to be perfectly straight.

It'll still have like a little bit of this to it, but very much like after you're getting after 20 30 40 yards it's going to be pretty fucking straight um but it's very scientific like you have to know how much your arrow weighs like my arrows weigh 540 grains and they're you know whatever 28 or something and a half inches long. So you have to like measure the length, which like I have a 28 and a quarter inch draw. And so then you have to put all this stuff into a computer program called Archer's Advantage.

And you run it through a chronograph and you'll say, oh, it shoots 275 feet per second. Okay, and then you run all this information through this chronograph or through this computer program rather. And then it'll give you a sight tape. and then you put the sight tape on the bow and you have to make sure that your 20 yard pin is dialed in correctly and once you do oh is that what that it's like a wheel that's on the that's actually on sharpshooters that yes similar but the sharpshooter

thing is like much more exact because i'm not looking through a scope when i'm doing this this is just a sight so it's not magnified it's just a pin and the pin goes up and down to where 20 yards is going to be. So 20 yards is there. If I dial it down, like now I'm in 40 yards, now I'm in 50 yards and I can do it up and down with a dial. So I can put it right on where 60 yards is and then hold the pin on it. And if I release the arrow properly, it's going to go right exactly where my pin is. But it does take a little bit of calibration. It takes a little bit of calibration, yeah.

Well, it takes quite a bit. I mean, you have to run things through a computer program, and then you have to sight in your 20 and 60 yards. Like, you have to figure out where your 20 is, and then you back up until 60. And once you're super confident, then you put the tape on. And then once you put the tape on, now you have, like, everything from 20 dialed up to 120 yards because it's all done in math.

It's all done in how much the bow is going to release with so much energy, but how much energy is there after 20 yards, after 30 yards. It's going to slowly start to drop and come down. And that's all calculated in this computer program that allows you to spin the bow to exactly where the yardage is. And before they had that it was just Like I don't know but now before they had that look there's guys like my friend Aaron Snyder took a couple of years off of He's a really good like elite top of the food chain bow hunter and he took time off From bow hunting with a compound bone to just use traditional archery equipment

So he was using a recurve bow and he still was killing everything because he's just a really good hunter and he can but he also got very good with that bow and there's all these videos of him in his yard of doing like these 40 yard groups with traditional archery just all stuck in this like-sized group of arrows. That's very impressive. That's fucking hard to do. And that takes a long time. You can get proficient with a bow at 20-yard shots

where you can get into this range. I can get you there in a day. A day, one day. One day at 20 yards with a bow where someone teaches you the correct way to release and look through the peep sight. Something close, like 20 yards, I can get you there in a day.

With traditional archery, good luck, bitch. Yeah, it's a year, right? I don't know, man. I'm not good at it. I shot it on vacation with my kids. It was hilarious. I was terrible. Oh, my God, I don't even know how to do it right.

It's like, I mean, I kind of know how to do this part because I use a compound bow, but it's so different. It's like using a rotary phone. but it's so different it's like using a rotary phone but it's like it's probably there's something probably more connected about that because there's only like the string in the wood there's no cables and all this fucking these cams like my my bow has a cam on the top and a cam on the bottom, and as you pull the bow back, the cams give you a mechanical advantage where it rolls over, and it's all, like, super high-tech shit. So when you release an arrow from one of those,

it's like you're kind of, like, almost, like, less connected to it than if you are, you know, pulling back some recurve bow and letting it go with your fingers. That's probably, you're probably even more connected to it. How often are you doing both? I practice almost every day. And? But it's also like a part of my daily routine.

It relaxes me. Because when you're thinking about a target, like I just have a target set up in the yard, right? I'm not thinking about anything but hitting that target. That's all I'm thinking about. So I'm just drawing back, looking at the target, and then releasing the arrow. And there's like a little dance that's going on between like your cognitive function, your muscles, you know, handling the anxiety of a shot. Like every shot gives you like a little bit of anxiety.

Like is this going to go where I want it to go? I hope it does. Well, it's weird because there are no stakes other than personal achievement. Have I been wasting my time? No. Is this an exercise in futility? Am I at fault? Can I not learn?

Can I not grow? I never think like that. But what's the anxiety? Does it hit where I want it to hit? Right. Did I put it all together right? It's not life and death no no no but it's not like there's a there's a thing if you if you really want to get good at something you have to be as interested in getting good at it as you are at anything at anything totally agree and it's all the same. But it's all something of a metaphor for you. I don't know if it is.

I think it's an exercise for keeping the mind active in a way that makes it non-competitive in regular everyday life. And it makes it more compatible to socialization and to community and to just hanging out. I think you need to do difficult things or you try to do difficult things with people. I think people, a lot of people start conflict because they don't have enough struggle, like physical struggle. I think you need something that's hard to do, whether it's a mental thing like playing chess or whether it's a physical thing like yoga. I think you need difficult things things and I think when you don't have difficult things I think you make difficult things and I think you make difficult things out of your life I think there's a lot of people that I know that would be way better off if they had some conflict resolution voluntarily like just

got out and exercise you think did something like archery is conflict resolution or you think it's it's so complicated it's like samurai or like you know what i mean like it's a discipline that you're humbled by golf is kind of like that sure like where it's golf you're playing against a course you're playing it's people i used to golf and i would get pissed and i'm like why am I pissed to me it's like because I'm not growing I'm stagnant I'm a failure

I've been dedicating my time to this thing it's a waste of it I try not to think like that but I know what you're saying but I think you're I feel like you're saying the same thing it's fortifying and it's you want to improve you want to be on a path of some kind yeah it's fun it's fun to get good at

stuff too it's like just accept what you are like you're a human being and one of the things that human beings like is we like it when other people like us and we like to do stuff and get good at it and especially if it's something you really truly enjoy like if you're a golf fan if you like watching golf on tv of course you're gonna want and a thing you respect also yeah yeah there's something to it right like it feels good it's exciting you want that yeah that's a normal human thing and so i could think people that don't have hobbies you don't have things that you enjoy well and especially things that you're trying to improve at i think you're doing yourself a disservice and for me one of the things I like to do is archery because

It's it's kind of difficult like when you're at full draw and you're trying to hit a target and you're you know You're just constantly you're you're trying to use Perfect form and relax and just a little move this way or this way and you're gonna be off by you know, six inches That's the ever you ever read off tele you know six inches that's the you ever you ever read off teleprompter i'm sure you haven't got i'm terrible at it but the thing that i've learned reading off teleprompter is if i think about what just happened or what's gonna happen i'll flub it so i literally just go like one word at a time one word at a time it's a perfect metaphor for life because like if you think about like oh i fucking i hit that syllable wrong and then you'll flub the thing you're saying and like oh that

fucking joke's coming up yeah and then you'll fucking you'll flub it again yeah thereby ruining the the thing you're because you're thinking about the i mean again the brain I think is the default is to think about the past and future and you have to go like no now right think about now brain and it's like okay but I but I'm worried and I'm and I'm regretful but it's also you're talking about something that's gonna be seen right if you're reading off a teleprompter it means it's being filmed filmed. So there's that anxiety on top of it, right? Yes, but, and that's the, but it'll be good if I don't fuck a word up.

It'll just be better automatically. And there is the performance anxiety, there's usually a crowd there or whatever, but you just have to, just one word at a time. Yeah. Is there art, there's an art to that. Yeah. Imagine though, if that's what you did all day,

like imagine being a news broadcaster where you're standing in front of the monitor talking to you live from downtown Los Angeles where the mayor is interviewing you. Yeah. Well, the people in the field don't have prompter, but there's all those jokes in Anchorman where they just put whatever in the prompter.

Right, right, right. The people in the the studio they all read off teleprompter right yeah and it's like what is your job you're not even a you're not even you're not got you're not writing this shit do you think they wanted to be actors and then it's like this became i think a lot of times they wanted to be actors but like their mom got sick. So they had to stay in town. There's always like, you know what I mean? Like they want to perform. It's so weird. They're not public servants.

Right. And by the way, the news media the last 15 years has proven that. It's like the Brian Williams. Once Brian Williams hosted Saturday Night Live, I was like, it's over. It's over. Even like he lied. I was like, it's over. It's over. Even like he lied. I'm like, he was already lying. I shouldn't know these people.

Just tell me the fucking news. There was a book called Amusing Ourselves to Death, which is by Neil Postman. And it's like one of the best books about media I've ever read. It came out in 1989. Everything he said was true. And he said that the McNeil-Lehrer PBS NewsHour, one of the McNeil-Lehrer said, once we put music under the news, we were cooked. Because it's like you can't.

Music is an emotional cue and it makes it a story and it's good guys and bad guys and heroes and Joseph Campbell shit and Once it used to just be ticker tape That's really interesting. I never thought about that, but they do use music on the news. Yeah Why are you doing? Why do you have me? Why are you putting it? let me hear some music let me hear like what's cnn's music i want to hear fox news's music and cnn's music maybe we could tell a lot it's the election it's just the election decision 2022 it's a military it's a military they're military marches oh my or they're like this is fucking true it's like why they put pillars in front of banks because like would we have

if we weren't responsible which one's that that's CNN is that really CNN's music we're heroes and this is so fucking important god damn it we're. God damn it, we're credible. God

damn it. We couldn't get our hands on music like this if we weren't incredibly factual because they wouldn't give it to us. That book is amusing ourselves to death. Read it. It's like, boy, oh, boy.

And the guy fucking called so many things. Yeah? So many things. What's his name again? Neil Postman. I'm putting that in my book list. Amusing ourselves to death. Yeah, Discourse in the Age of Show Business from 1985.

Man. What's Fox News' music? This is fun. Yeah, my my god i didn't know i really didn't know that it was that bad coming to you live and da da da da da da da da hailer he ate a baby i'm buying this i'm buying this book right now. I just bought it. Great. Bam. That is hilarious.

Yeah, this is like... We're a fucking... We're so legit. God gave us this music. This is from God. It has less beats, right? Listen, this is way more predictable. It doesn't get too high.

It doesn't get too low. And it keeps you on a steady pace. It's a dullard song. Yeah. Well, there's no structure. That was the breaking news. That was just regular Fox. The first one was breaking, so it might have an extra up-tempo. Does Fox have a breaking news. That was just regular Fox. The first one was breaking, so it might have an extra up-tempo that was –

Does Fox have a breaking news? It didn't pop up. But that's like a – They're military more. They're like – A drone music. Yeah. They're trying – they're just establishing a level of –

Not really. No. That's okay. We get it. You shouldn't be able to do that right i it's just it becomes when they and they'll put it on it just bleeds into the yeah whole operation well didn't that sort of happen too when they started having editorial content jen saki officially joins msnbc yeah we'll host streaming show and and assist with election news, and she's going to circle back.

It's not even a revolving door. It's a WeWork now. Yeah. And it's, yeah, you literally are out of work for a week. It's just open time. She had that shit. She won. A hundred.

She got it. Yeah. I mean, basically, you get it when you get the press secretary job. You've got your whole thing. It's like I always make a joke with white basketball players where I'm like, if you can't get an announcing job when you're done, because they're just dying for a fucking J.J. Reddick step right. And J.J. Reddick's great, but like a cute white dude who played in the NBA for 15 years.

Kevin Love. Kevin Love is going to be. Tom Brady just got 350 million like fucking cute white guy that's fucking got athletic credibility it's like oh fucking we they can't pay him enough so how many that's i was i'm thinking about this now how many different broadcast teams do they have does each team have their own broadcast team because you have so many games oh uh they have the same people they have their local if they're not national and then there's like like cleveland has their local guys and then um like basketball they'll have basically a local a guy who played for cleveland

and then like kevin love will probably be announced for Cleveland in two years and and then like an announcer but they'll have like well back in your day and they'll have that guy for color and they'll have just like a regular announcer who's probably from anywhere and then when it gets to like the final when it's on TNT

and ESPN there's there's an ESPN team and a TNT team. And then they have famous people do it. Yeah. Yeah, like it's the same guys every week. I went to a professional soccer game this week. How'd you like it?

It was fucking great. It was fun. It's fun. It was really fun. First of all, when you see it on TV, it's one thing. But when you see the guys running in real life and you could see the strategy map out you see how they're maneuvering themselves like oh this is a pretty fucking complex game yeah this is a you know I mean and apparently the way they play in Europe is like way more high level than even the American team yeah that's like on another level even better yeah so I

would love to see one of those because watching this one live was fucking amazing. It was super impressive. There are things that you go to and you go, oh, I get why this is a thing. Yeah, oh, soccer, I totally get it. I don't especially care, but I get. And it's also, where else, I mean, now more and more, but where else do adults get to yell?

Is there anyone more annoying than the soccer fan who insists on calling it football and even writes football if you discuss it i don't get upset what is that a seagull what was it someone it's like someone who tells you how to spell their name crazy soccer crowds that oh they're out of their minds look at these people yeah but you know like saying it's football like yeah settle down uh it's settled down yeah okay you can call it whatever you want yeah but you know what i'm talking about football. Yeah. Settle down. Settle down. Okay, you can call it whatever you want. Yeah, but you know what I'm talking about, right? Yeah. The thing that we're talking about?

We call it soccer. Okay. Yeah. What, did your daughters take you? No, no, no. One of my friends, local guys. Great. We had a good time.

It was fun. Yeah, live sports are fun. It was fun, man. Football, I think, is too big. The feel, it's not. I think a lot of sports, football especially, I think, is too big. The feel, it's not. I think a lot of sports, football especially, I think, is better on television. Yeah.

I think you get some real fucking good replays and shit if you're watching on television. Yeah. Soccer's so easy to follow what's happening. You know, the ball's moving around. Nothing happens. I mean, that's the good thing about soccer. Well, it takes a while for something to happen. When it does happen, it makes it more exciting. It's like the difference between having sex every day and having sex once a week.

So being singled or married, that's what you're saying. It's just the skill level, and then also I'm just thinking how much my fucking knees would hurt. Well, I always make the observation that you ever watch the world cup in a bar with women i remember one of the world cups i watched a couple world cups i watched in bars with women women soccer players women get a little like oh because they're because they're like they're not they're also not yoked, and they've got limitless stamina. And especially in the World Cup, they're all ethnically ambiguous and a little cute, brownish with a little stubble.

Well, their legs, man. And nice legs. I mean, to be able to do that, to run as much as those guys run, like Jesus Christ, the kind of shape you have to be in to play professional soccer is nuts. Yeah, they probably all end up running five miles a game. Easily. And you're kind of sprinting.

You're absolutely sprinting. You're either barely jogging or you're sprinting. Yeah. And to watch them move the ball around was super impressive. Yeah. To watch them, their little moves they do when they knock the ball aside where they fake like they're going to go and then they don't go. You really appreciate it when you see it live because you know ian edwards uh has been a soccer fan forever and i'm always giving him shit about it yeah and

he's got that soccer podcast so we had made a deal like okay when i do we're gonna go see uh a soccer game together and then we'll go do a podcast but i went before now i'm gonna do it again i'm gonna bring them yeah it's fucking it's a you get it it's like i get it's a thing no it's it's exciting it's exciting sport it's funny how so many kids play it but like professionally i mean it never really caught on in america it's like uh it's like it's like school band a lot of kids do it fourth fifth sixth grade and then like i don't know what happened to you in the flute i don't know i gave up on the recorder we kind of just i don't know i don't i don't know what happened you know what i don't know what happened but now it's more popular than it's ever been i

think kids stick with it yeah i think so too yeah i had a this is big family problem is uh i i played soccer one year and um you were, like they said, get shin guards at the beginning of the year, and I realized I was like, everything was a hand-me-down. So we had to wear a cup and shin guards, and I was eight, and the cup I got from somebody from one of my old brothers too big so by the end of the year I had bruises on my thighs and really bad bruises on my shins because

uh when they said shin guards I my family said you mean knee pads that we're gonna just tell neil our shin guards and i didn't realize that it was supposed to be hard and they were just yeah and they were just i was just like really yeah oh my god that's uh that's 10 kids god damn dude uh that's one of those things that i just remembered like oh yeah that was kind of fun shins are a painful one too man yeah I remember like, oh yeah, that was kind of fucked up. Shins are a fucking painful one too, man. Yeah. I had a shin in, I was doing, I did a show.

I did my new hour like in New York for like four months, like off Broadway. And every night I would kick over a chair in like an act out. And I had like, it looked like a compound fracture from the bruise. I had to like do it. I had to like restage it because I'm like, I'm going to fucking, I'll show you the picture. Why were you hitting it with your shin?

Just because you were just hitting it wild? It was kind of funnier. Like that was the funniest way to knock the chair over. Oh. And it ended up like, it just looked like a compound. More awkward? Yeah, it was just funnier just looked like a car awkward yeah it was just

funny it like make a louder noise whatever whatever um you have a photo of it yeah hold on i need to see this yeah no it is it's a pretty uh it's a pretty arresting photo hold on a second that's a there's a recent trend in mma where guys are hitting guys with calf kicks well that's what i was wondering you the stefano was telling me that you spent yesterday you did kicks for an hour and a half and i was like doesn't that fuck what does that fuck up does it fuck up your shins does it fuck up your ankle like there's got to be some wear and tear your knees take beating especially if you have a hard bag it seems like softer bags

you could kind of get away with it a little bit more you have this nice fair text bag that's not too hard got a little give to it oh jesus dude ouchy wawa yeah like the left it's just swollen as fuck yeah yeah and it took like two weeks to go down once i am yeah i've seen a lot of those yeah i'm sure. Because I was kicking like metal. If you kick bone or... Bone on bone, yeah. See these guys, they chop at each other's calves almost immediately now.

It's so effective. One hard calf kick sometimes and a guy's foot goes numb and he can't use his foot right. Front to the front? Yeah. Well, you kind of get it around the edge, but basically when you're kicking guys, you're use his foot right. Front to the front? Yeah. Well, you kind of get it around the edge, but basically when you're kicking guys, you're kicking them like right,

you want to get your shin like right into here, and there's not a lot to protect you there. So when someone can chop away, it goes right into the nerves, and sometimes it just short circuits your foot, and your foot just goes numb and dangles. Like Michael Chandler actually lost a fight from that. Like the referee stopped the fight because his foot wasn't working.

Yeah, it was in Bellator. It was kind of a fucked up stoppage, you know, because he was fine and he would have gotten fine, but it was a fairly new thing. This calf kicking thing is like a pretty recent craze. Well, it felt like they were trying to chop the front for a while, right? They're doing that too still. They're doing that too.

Jon Jones is the master of that. And guys must have gotten just snapped bones from that, correct? Well, they've got destroyed knees for sure, for sure. So in this fight, it was with Brent Primus. And so he hit him a bunch of times with really good low calf kicks. And you see like his leg is like giving out. See it? Oh, wow.

It's like it's not working right. And then he chops at it again, and leg is like giving out. See it? Oh, wow. It's like it's not working right, and then he chops at it again, and then it just gives out. So his knee is just not working, or his leg rather is just not working. And it's a nerve thing. It's not bone or muscle. It's totally a nerve thing,

and he's trying to punch him, but look, you can tell like he's got no balance because his left leg is just not working, and the referee stopped the fight do you have to do you have a dress code for for announcing uh i dress nice i wear a suit i have a david august suit but do you like you have one suit um no i have a they they may be a bunch of suits but i always wear basically the same color great it's It's just black shirt, black pants. But no, I'm wondering if they like, hey, Joe. I just try to look the least distracting.

I just wanna blend in, I just wanna get the guys on camera. But sometimes you'll be wearing a t-shirt, no? Am I making that up? No, no, no. Is that weigh-ins you're wearing a t-shirt? Yes, weigh-ins, yeah, the weigh-ins. The weigh-ins are pretty casual. The weigh-ins are basically just ceremonial weigh-ins are basically just a ceremonial weigh-in.

Everyone's already weighed in that day. It's not like that's the moment where they get on the scale. Oh, that's like for the show. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. So you get to see them like oftentimes like 15, 20 pounds heavier than their actual weight. Because like we don't do the weigh-ins until 4 p.m., but I'm pretty sure they can start

weighing in early in the morning, sometimes as early as like 10 a.m., maybe even earlier. So they've already, they're done cutting weight. Yes, exactly. Oh, that's interesting. So they've cut weight, and then they start putting water back in. So you're catching them like four or five hours later. They look great. They're all like rehydrated.

Great. And they'll do it slowly and, you know, take in some fruits and some, depends on what kind of food they eat. But they have to kind of slowly start eating again the ones who cut a lot of weight what do you attribute the fights at weigh-ins to oh man no i guess like trying to intimidate each other right and then it's just like i know bitch you ain't no bitch yeah there's a lot it was also can't they they can't wait to fight right they're very a lot of anxiety and they think they might't wait to fight. Right. A lot of anxiety.

And they think they might be able to get a psychological edge. But sometimes, like, one dude, he got pushed in a fight. Dracar Close. He was going to fight Jeremy Stevens. And Jeremy Stevens shoved him, like, really hard at the weigh-in. And he fucking blew a disc out like something happened and the guy that got pushed he got hurt he got hurt because he didn't expect it and he was fucked up for like a year after that and did he lose the fight no the he never fought

oh they canceled the fight cancel the fight because of the push and if you watch him watch he pushes him away. See that? See his neck snaps? See, because he doesn't expect that to happen. Right. So it's like whiplash. Yeah. Like that wasn't his, like watch it again.

Watch his head. See how his head snaps? You can pop something in your neck like that. Like that's, you know, car accident type shit. This guy's staring into our soul in the middle. This white guy's staring right our soul in the middle this white guy's staring right at us sean shelby sean what are you looking at sean um but that push right there cost him the fight so that's one of those things is like does he get a settlement i don't

know what happened i really have no idea other than dracar was out for quite a while he was out for quite a while did you go to that island no i didn't that's in uh abu dhabi oh god but that's like when they were doing the fight island thing that's a giant commitment like you're over there for many days because you have to they have very they had very strict covid quarantine yeah rules and it was pretty you couldn't leave the hotel it's like it's like meeting putin you know putin would make people you had to get like tested a week you literally had to wait a week you have to wait a week to meet putin is that now now now because of covid because he's immune he's compromised i would i would because he has

blood cancer is that real that's what i've heard yeah yeah but are we are we being propagandized? I've heard it from people who would know, who heard it from like, that's a pretty good source. But I don't know. Who fucking knows? Who fucking knows? I don't, you know, again, it's like, in the new information economy. Wow, Oliver Stone says Putin had cancer.

In years, he shadowed him for his project Wow well they're saying that's why he's so bloated it's not just like some Russian to head blow shit it's the that head it's like remember when Jerry Lewis was taking steroids and he had the big face like that big moon face like that from the steroids yeah I knew a dude who was on prednisone for something and that happened with him. He just blew up. That's what they're saying to him. So is this, I mean, what the fuck? What does a guy like that do, a guy who's been a dictator forever?

And you're dying of cancer. Do you give up the throne? Like, how does he stop running the country? Does he try to run it until he, like, imagine if he's dying. Does he try to run it until he's dead? I'm sure he's delusional. You know what I mean? Like, just being a dictator makes you, it's, I literally, it's a term I use called, when

someone's in a fixed fight, I call it a Putin karate tournament. It's like, oh, this is a fucking Putin karate tournament. Like, when someone's gaslighting me and their friends are, I'm like, this is a fucking Putin karate tournament. That's so funny. That's such a great expression for gaslighting, a Putin karate turn like when someone's gaslighting me and their friends are like this is a fucking Putin karate turn that's so funny That's a great expression for gaslighting a Putin karate tournament. Yeah, it's like so he's got he's just gonna be like you're the champ Right Vladimir until he fucking dies Wow I bet that's what happens I bet the amount of detachment that you get when you're a dictator You know they talk about the amount of detachment you get when you're wealthy.

They talk about the amount of detachment you get when you're famous. And then it becomes like when you're a famous politician. Like the amount of detachment you must get. Like how do you relate to the regular folks when you're the president of the United States? You probably don't. But the amount of detachment you get when you're a fucking dictator. When you're literally the guy killing your enemies. You can kill anyone.

Yeah. Kill anyone. Poison them. And he's doing it in the age of the internet. fucking dictator when you're literally the guy killing anyone yeah kill anyone but i poison him and he's doing it in the age of the internet it's not like russia is not like north korea where they can't they don't have access he's there it's it's not unlike north korea i mean i would there's a there's a movie called uh they have access to the internet but they have blocked no they have shit blocked they have a lot of shit. They're not getting information about Ukraine. Okay,

right now, yes, with Ukraine. Yes, definitely. But I mean, like, when he was running the country

up until this war, they basically had the regular internet, didn't they? There's a documentary called Hyper-Normalization. Yes, I saw that.

Yeah, Adam Curtis, where it's just like they create this weird, you don't know what is real, what you saw, what it's contradicted state messaging reality, like where they've done things where they would change stories. Like when they were bombing, they had like false flag shit with Chechnya and all that shit. And then they would change the story like five times in an hour on TV and then so by the end of it you're like I don't fucking know that I like that explanation um so they they I think they have like limited I was in China

before right before COVID I was scouting COVID uh I was in China and they they have they you can use like there's like you can use VPNs which is like you can get around the sort of sensors yeah the they call it uh a mesh curtain meaning like it's a curtain but you can get yeah and then but my buddy told me that when there's like a big state operation you vpns don't work really like they there's just levels to the amount of shit that they can but up until the invasion of ukraine russia's internet was it basically open like ours i would get I would guess it was not. Since 2012, Russia maintains a centralized internet blacklist known as the single register maintained by the Federal Service for Supervision of Communications, Information Technology, and Mass Media. Look at that word.

How do you say that word? Neil, give it a go. Roskomnadzor. Roskomnadzor. Roskomnadzor. The list is used for the censorship of individual URLs, domain names, and IP addresses. Yeah, like China, Google, nope. But Edward Snowden lives in Russia. This is what's confusing to me.

For sure, that guy has access to the fucking full internet. Yeah. I bet he figured it out but it's like is my does my mom have unlimited internet she goes down the main streets

right your mom's on Facebook that should be a t-shirt your mom's on Facebook she's on the main street she's not going people like you and I will go and then people that are 20 are going to places we don't Your mom's on Facebook? Yeah, your mom's on Facebook. She's on the main street. She's not going. People like you and I will go to, and then people that are 20 are going to places we don't fucking understand. Right.

So it's just a matter of like open, but like you're kind of just naturally cautious. You read one thing about viruses and you're like, I shouldn't, I shouldn't go on that. So I think most people, I don't think old people know about VPNs. I don't think, you know what I mean? Like, I think that there's, I don't, truthfully, I don't know, but I'm guessing it's not as open as America. No, no, it can't be as open as America. There's no fucking way. But I thought that for a long time, they had like a pretty normal access to the internet.

I didn't know that since 2012. VPNs have been outlawed since 2017 there. Wow. What happens if you get busted with a VPN? Imagine, you're doing time. What'd they get you for? VPN. I was trying to watch Netflix in a different category.

Did you watch the Navalny documentary? What's that? Alexander Navalny, the guy, like Putin's main. No. It's on cnn or it's on hbo plus whatever i don't fucking know it's somewhere it's just type in nivolny uh and you'll find it uh but that guy got boy i mean he got fucking poisoned twice yeah that's the and then they have video of they have audio of the plane. And he's just going like, He's just moaning.

And by the way, it's not a shot of him, so it's just a shot of an airplane. They have a really nice... They filmed him nice. Yeah, this fucking guy. It's amazing the amount of power that Putin's been able to hold on to. I mean. You know what's making me laugh is when they said, uh, they're going to put the squeeze on his mistress.

And I bet Putin's like, oh, no, not my mistress. Like, but I promised her I'd always be good. He's like, yeah, go ahead and squeeze her. It's fine. There's a reason she's my mistress and not my wife. Like, she's not my top broad. You got to squeeze her, squeeze her. I mean, he must have like a harem.

Yeah. If you're the president of Russia for that long, I mean, he gets whatever he wants. You know the story about the football ring? You know the NFL story story the robert kraft story i don't exactly remember it sturgill simpson was the first person to tell me it it's like what that's real he robert lets him hold the ring and putin let's putin hold it just takes it puts it on and walks away and he starts moving towards like hey that's my fucking Super Bowl ring. And the Russians put their hand on his chest like, this is Vladimir's. No, this is him.

No, this is Vladimir's. This is welcome to Putin's cry. Kraft explained the incident to those in attendance at Carnegie Hall's Medal of Excellence gala, saying, I took out the ring and showed it to Putin, and he put it on, and he goes, I can kill someone with this ring. Put my hand out, and he put it on and he goes I can kill someone with this ring put my hand out and he put it in his pocket and three KGB guys got around him and walked out so he just put it in his pocket say I'll take this like it's mine now thank you for this gift

first of all killing someone with a ring is super impractical you'll hurt your hand I'd rather punch someone too I'd rather punch someone without a ring like rings are not they get they kind of get in the way like it's not a brass knuckle you want to use the knuckle right that's what you want to strike brass knuckles are awesome if you have a pair of brass knuckles boy that's real is this the hardest part of the hand that's the part you can hit things the hardest for sure because it's protected you know the top of your hand like where you punch with knuckles, is a terrible way to hit someone. Yeah, everyone breaks their hand. Yeah, super common.

What's kind of funny, though, that that is what's protected, because it is protected by gloves, but so is your skin. Your skin's also protected by that, too. When they do bare-knuckle boxing, people get really cut up. But what's crazy is you can elbow somebody in the face, you can knee them in the face, and you can kick them in the face. So you can hit them with your heel in the face. And that knee them in the face. And you can kick them in the face. Like, so you can hit them with your heel. And that's stronger, right?

Oh, my God. Like, significantly. Oh, yeah. I can kick right through that door with my heel. I can just walk up to it and stomp a hole. That is not another part of my body I can hit it that hard with. Your heel, you're running all day. Well, that's what I was saying.

So there's no repetitive stress injuries with you just train for kickboxing or jiu-jitsu? You definitely get repetitive stress injuries. I have injuries all over the place. My knees are always fucked. There's always something like my lower back hurts a little sometimes. It's like there's a certain amount of recovery you have to do when you're you're doing that kind of explosive stuff and you have to be like really careful with stretching you gotta be really careful with um the time off in between the recovery stuff is really important like the saunas and cold plunge i showed you the new cold plunge i set up here

that's how that's fucking real important you need recovery you can't just work out and sometimes people just go too much one way well that's what most hgh and all that drug use in sports is just recovery yeah everything is recovering yeah testosterone as well i mean look you don't get big muscles from it you get big muscles from the work that you do you get ability to recover yeah you get an unusual ability to recover and then of course there's stuff like what bodybuilders do. You're taking it to a completely different level. Like what they're doing is like. An amazing level, by the way, guys. Keep it up.

What an insane sport. Have you been to a competition? No. It's one of the most riveting. I went 25 years ago on accident. So strange. I was walking past the Beacon in New York, and there was like bodybuilding competition this Saturday. I was like, well, I know what I'm doing.

I literally just went to the box office, handed over the money. Was it really good? It was – it's crazy. It's just a crazy culture. Like the documentary – Pumping Iron? Generation Iron. Oh.

One, two, and three on Netflix. Amazing. Excellent. Maniacs, these guys. Oh, yeah. I've had Ronnie Coleman on the podcast. And Dorian Yates. The white guys put, they do a roll-on, like a paint roller spray tan.

Oh, yeah. Me and Shob. It's so goddamn funny. There's a YouTube video of us that is animated of us talking about how they have chocolate body. Because you're not allowed to do blackface yeah they get all the way up to the face and they don't do the face because they used to they used to do the face yeah they can't get away with that anymore so fun it's fucking super white bill burr looking guys wear black from the neck down it's so crazy very funny it's so crazy but

the video of me and shab is fucking hilarious because it's animated crazy but the video of me and shop is fucking hilarious because it's animated yeah and they just show like the guy who did it polytune is amazing he does he animates these little funny clips of stuff and that's probably one of the funniest ones ever it's just so preposterous that people paint their whole body black well and that it's just accepted within the what's in the community or well it doesn't make your body look better. You know, like the dark colors, like they highlight all of the muscles. It like really accentuates all the muscles.

It's more shadow, right? Yeah, but you're looking at like a really white guy, like a William Montgomery white guy. Like that's like you're looking. It's like blinding. Where's his muscles? Can't tell. It's almost like you need to put some dark on them to like get the. Chocolate them up.

Chocolate them up. Yeah, tell it's almost like you need to put some dark on them like get the chocolate a month chocolate a month Chocolate them up to get the the sense of what it really would it looks good You know what what muscles are in good condition, but it's such a crazy fucking sport because those guys are on death's door They're they're ready to die of dehydration. Yeah, they're up there starving to death Yeah, when you're that shredded That is so not normal. No. So not healthy. Like, you can't be healthy.

No. No. They just, like, they're ready to black out. And if you're going to date one of these guys, be prepared to make chicken breasts. A lot of chicken breasts and broccoli. Yeah, you have to eat, like, very lean stuff. Because you're literally trying to get down to, I mean, what is the lowest they get to when they're walking around? Let's guess.

What percentage body fat do you think? Oh, they're what's? Mr. Olympia. Let's come up with a list. Four percent? I think it's lower. I think they get lower. I think they get to like three.

Lower? Way lower. Way lower? Really? There's only two levels below that. Well, when Rob, I think it's a claim he made on here. Who is it? Ronnie Coleman said he was 0.3% body fat.

Oh, but that might not be real. Somebody might have told him that. Do they count like intestines? Like, is that? That's a good question. You know what I mean? Well, by the, when you're that lean, I don't think you have fat anywhere. Like, when you get that lean, it's not like you would keep like gut fat while you're when you're that shredded in your legs and your ass and

your back like when they get that christmas tree thing and their lower back and they're flexing like i don't even know those were muscles yeah look at that thing yeah it's preposterous at the competitions people are yelling out like pop it ronnie and they they take it and they have to like place their calves it's amazing well Ronnie unfortunately was a guy who suffered from a lot of back injuries and worked through him because he's so tough that he was blow his back out and keep like in the mid set and keep doing the squats and just destroyed his back yeah and he's had every single disc in his back fused now it's odd they

don't even make that much money doing it i had less than one percent body fat before he died oh jesus christ andreas munzer oh my oh my god look at that he looks like a guy he looks like an open mic or go back to that um first picture again that one that's insane. That's insane, man. That's insane. That is so strange. Look at that white face, though. Look how white his face is.

He doesn't even get laid that much more. Do you know what I mean? He's got a little bit of chocolate face there. He's also got that weird thing where, like, you don't. Some guys shouldn't be jacked like that. Like, it's not for your body. Look at that. You don't think that looks good on his body? Not with that head.

Like, it looks like photos. He looks like human Photoshop. That's hilarious. You're not supposed to be... You're not... Evolution-wise, you're not supposed to look like that. Really? I don't...

That's what you see? He looks like an IT guy or something. Do That's what you see? He looks like a an IT guy or something. Do you know what I mean? It's just not for you. Without antibiotics, he doesn't make it. Antibiotics? Meaning his uncles and

grandfathers should be dead. Bro, look at that. Is that real? I don't know. That doesn't seem real. His head popped behind a different body. That's so different than those other pictures of him. It looks like a carnival thing where you stick your head in the circle. Yeah, but it looks photoshopped. That actually looks photoshopped.

That's got to be photoshopped. Yeah. It looks so big. I don't think that's real, Jamie. And the face looks like it's got a different resolution than the body. Am I wrong about that? No. You're not wrong, but it looks weird.

It doesn't look right. It looks too cartoon. See? Look how different he looks there. It's not shredded at all. That's cartoon. That's so big. Look how small his waist is.

That's photoshopped for real. It doesn't look real. The lats. That looks real. That looks like a super jack guy, but it looks real. That other one didn't looks real. That looks like a super jack guy, but it looks real. That other one didn't look real. See, like if you see the difference, the amount of, see, okay, that's the real picture. That's the actual picture.

Okay, so clearly. Yeah. So that looks normal. I mean, for a super jack bodybuilder guy. That other one was too big. So that's the actual picture before they fucked with it. You can't tell these days. These wacky kids, their Photoshop skills.

It's a deep fake. So that was what his liver looked like? When I found his name, it said that they did an autopsy and it had less than 1% body fat. Is that what you're telling me? Whoa, look at that girl. Look at the girl with the green top. Yeah, that might have led to what he said.

That's insane. Oh my God, look at her abs. A lot of these articles though I will note Are saying you should not Aim for 0% body fat Oh yeah for sure Like what that What you're seeing with her

Is super super Fucking impressive But also Very unhealthy No yeah It's not good You can't maintain that Your body needs some fat

And it's also It fucks with your thinking Like you can't think good You're dull This is an eating disorder It's like a bad eating disorder There's also, it fucks with your thinking. Like, you can't think good. You're dull. This is an eating disorder. It's like a bad eating disorder. There's something to it. There's something along, but it's like a body dysmorphia thing.

Yeah. There's the thing about, like, the biggest bodybuilders, sometimes they don't feel big. They feel small. Yeah. And so they wear, like, bulky clothes to, like, cover their body. Yeah. It's really weird. Yeah.

Well, body dysmorphia is hard not to have. No, that's not real. That's, that, no, that's real. Noorphia Is hard not to have That's That No that's real No but That's synthol That's what I meant Yeah it's not real muscles

Yeah that Fucking dummy Like there's so many dummies That inject Oil into their muscles It makes their muscles Swell and look big But it looks like that

It looks like you've got Water balloons Underneath the Yeah it looks Like fake It looks so crazy It's's like useless Useless doesn't work and looks insane

Like it like and you can't compete no there's no there's no advantage you can trick like one person You're not tricking anybody and it doesn't look good on anybody But the thing is it's like we've whenever there's a thing you can do you're gonna find someone who goes too far, right? Mm-hmm, like there's Some people got face tattoos you're like this isn't like that bad yeah and then someone makes their whole face look like a skeleton and you're like oh jesus yeah you're always there's always going to be someone that does that yeah and with that kind of stuff there's a whole group of guys who it's extreme to begin

with yeah the interest is extreme and then it gets like but it's also like girls with giant fake butts when they don't know that everybody knows that that's it looks insane it's so sad i find it so sad like some of those girls can barely walk it's like it's so odd it's just weird that they that they i mean it's just bad body dysmorphia yeah it's it's the weird society thing that is happening where people are shoving things into their body and it becomes normal. Like fake boobs are so normal. It doesn't freak anybody out at all. You got to realize like that didn't even exist until what? 1980 something.

Remember that? There was a documentary. I think it was on HBO with David Schwimmer. I think he played like the first boob. Oh, yeah Breastmann or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was it I mean think how crazy it is that the super invasive plastic surgery is uber prevalent. Yeah, just uber prevalent Yeah, and all it does is make boobs pop out Yeah, all does makes them stick out more and you know that there's a fucking surgery that took place where there's a bag of stuff

underneath them. And you're like, great. No, it's so odd. And then people act like, I've dated so few women with fake boobs because it's like, you're lying. You're just lying. It's people that catfish you. And then you show up and it's like, so am I supposed to not say anything?

You know you don't look like the way you presented yourself. But the reality is that they look better. That's the, that's what's so wild about it. Joe, that's the problem I have. No one cares. Is that they do technically look better. And guys don't care. No.

It doesn't bother them at all. No, didn't you used to do that joke? Do technically look better. And guys don't care. No. It doesn't bother them at all. No. Didn't you used to do that joke? Like if I can touch them, they're real or something? It's like there's no equivalent on the male side. There's nothing like that. Debt. Debt.

Yeah, like you can pretend. That's it. Yeah, debt. You can pretend you're rich. You're really like deeply in debt and barely hanging on to all this stuff. Yeah, that's all we get. Yeah, and then those are the guys that hit the girls up for the loans. But I think I've heard guys get pec implants.

Yeah, there's one crazy guy that we detailed on the show. He's like a male Ken doll, and he's had more than 100 surgeries. Out of his mind? Everything. All his muscles are fake. He gets fake thigh muscles, and they look great. The thigh muscles look great in his jeans they really do can't touch him though no they probably hurt like hell it's got plastic in there i mean there was an article i haven't read yet but about like how the recovery from butt from brazilian butt lifts it's like you can't

sit down for you have to lay i'm assuming you have to lay on your stomach for a couple weeks. Oh, Jesus Christ. How do you shit? Standing up in the shower? That's a great question. Solid question. And I don't want Jamie to look it up. I was just saying it.

I'm looking at the video of this guy and he's got butt implants. It's the guy, it's like it says he's a rival. There's not a chance in hell that this man is straight. There's not a chance in hell. Oh, that's his rival. Yeah, yeah. That guy there is the one on the right. That's the guy that's had 100

surgeries, and this is the one who's like him. He's had 90. He's had 90? I wonder. Oh, these guys are so sad. Look at these guys. That look is crazy. Multiple liposuction, etching. So he's etching on his fat transfer. He looks like he's got a filter on his face.

He looks like an Instagram filter. Yeah, they both do. Wild. Look at his butt. Like coloring. It's wild. He had a butt enhancement, bro. Look at that.

It's a hell of a butt, though. I mean, what a dunk. The guy's jacked. You got to give it to him. Out of the two of them, I think he's the hotter one. You like the guy on's a hell of a butt, though. I mean, what a dunk. The guy's jacked. You gotta give it to him. Out of the two of them, I think he's the hotter one. You like the guy on the left? No, the other one. The one on the right. On our right. That's more your type. See, look at his done. I like the guy that's closer to my body type. Yeah, like there.

That's you. I like the guy on the left. So this guy, the guy on the left is the guy who has the thigh implants. He's got plastic in his thighs that make his muscles look bigger. And his shoulders, his biceps. Yeah, everywhere. All over the place. So don't expect him to pick anything heavy up. Oh, dance boys. Yay. See the muscles, how they poke out? It's pretty nice. Pretty wild. That line is gross. It just doesn't match up with the upper thigh. But I wonder if like, what happens if you're doing that and you start lifting weights? Like you start actually getting big.

Do you have to take them out? Your skin probably stretches to a point. And maybe it will start hurting. Like you're shoving these implants into your fucking skin as your body grows. And these things are stuck and then they get infected. It makes me kind of like sick to my stomach thinking about it. Like stop doing that to yourself. You know, Danica Patrick actually just had to have her breast implants removed.

Were they infected or one of those things? No, she was having bad reactions to having them in her body. And she didn't realize how much trouble it was causing until she got them removed. And she documented all this stuff on her Instagram page. And it's like you could see it in her face. She said she just feels it everywhere. There's like Kat Zingano UFC fighter she had the same thing she was just feeling terrible with them in her body and will it's like ongoing like anaphylactic shock well your body's just rejecting

yeah your body's like why is this here why is this here why is this here why is it here it's like if your body like you ever see things calcify you know like something gets stuck in your body can calcify. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You mean sometimes the outside of their boobs is like hard with scar tissue. Like it's like your body does not want that in there.

No. You ever watch that show Botched on Eats? Yes. That I can take a couple minutes of that. Jesus. One person just had fluid coming out of their head. Just like, ugh, Christ. The mental illness is what freaks me out. That leads them to thinking it's good.

Yeah, the thinking that that looks good. Like when they want to get their lips done crazy. Yeah. And then they want to get them fixed. And the doctor's trying to fix it. And they're like, shit. The only way you can get plastic surgery that's any good is to not have friends that have also done it. So that people are giving you an honest appraisal.

Some people get it done and you're like, this shit looks good. Well, what's her name? One of the Kardashians, the young one. Kylie. Jenner. Kylie Jenner, right? She had a lot done. But she looks very good. Oh, the young, young one?

Isn't that Kylie? The one. Yeah. Yeah, the young, young one? Yeah. Isn't that Kylie? The one, yeah, Kylie. She's the young one. Yeah. She had, like, there's crazy before and afters. Right, but yeah, like, she looks like not, she doesn't, she looks like a different person. Different person.

And then they have kids, and you're just like, when can we start operating on you? Because you remind me of who I used to look like. Oh, Jesus Christ. Basically. Oh, my God. What else would you think when you see your baby, and you're like, oh, we Jesus Christ. Basically. Oh, my God. What else would you think when you see your baby and you're like, oh, we can get this fixed?

Oh, my God. She probably said when she was 14 or 15. The thing is, like, your fucking head's still growing. Right? Like, you don't even know what's going to be its final form, and you're going to go in there and shave things down? With a bone saw? So gross.

Because you want a more contoured chin what the fuck are you saying yeah and then other people go oh my god she looks so much better I want to do that too oh that's crazy I knew a dude it changed his fucking life my friend max he had a extended lower jaw like his whole life like sling blade and then when he was 21 it was a serious operation they saw your bone of your lower jaw and take a chunk out of it and then put it back in place and screw it in and screws my like he couldn't talk couldn't fucking eat but then he became a handsome guy yeah so when he was 21 all of a sudden he's like we like handsome he's like a good looking guy the world rewards handsome he's got a

great face but it's like he was a freak yeah you know before that and then he became this handsome guy yeah it's like a really interesting turnaround because like it but you know that thing of like tall guys make a million dollars more over a lifetime handsome guys make they don't it's impossible to they can't they don't have a number on it because it's like handsome is relative but height is height's giant absolute there's a lot of factors in uh what makes people attracted to people what makes men attracted to women what makes women attracted to men and for whatever reason there's some people that like to deny those things or to distort those things to make people feel better it's very odd it's very unnecessary it's like

just acknowledge what it's like i'm just waiting for fat bodybuilding because that's one of the things that uh helen pluck rose and uh james lindsey and peter boghossian when they had those fake grievance studies one of the things they wrote about, they had fake papers that got critically acclaimed and they got reviewed and even won awards for fake papers. But one of them was about fat bodybuilding. They were talking about bodybuilding being more inclusive to fat people and fat, you know, like they wrote this nonsense fake paper that got reviewed. And. And it was about fat. But I'm not thinking that's too far off, man. Have you seen this whole Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue thing where it's like, you know, people are talking about these people's bodies and this is terrible.

And it's like, well, it's a different thing. This is what it is. It's a different thing. This is what it is. This is a different thing. Because what it used to be, the swimsuit issue used to be, look at these insane bodies of these incredible athletes and these gorgeous models that are like the rarest of rare human beings. It's unusual to look at. Look at them.

Crazy. And you would see like Kate Upton and Ronda Rousey was on the cover of one of them. You would see. No, that was a different one. She was on the cover of the naked issue. She was on the body issue, yeah. But you're seeing these amazing bodies. And then in this they're saying, well, these women have value too.

Well, the thing is, it's like, well, what are you – are you talking about personalities? Well, yeah. If you're talking about – If you're talking about personalities, then that's a – then what are you doing? Because you're going, she weighs 300 pounds, but she's got good skin. Do you know what I mean? You're still putting value on symmetry or skin or shape or something that people can't control. So it's just a little less hypocritical. But it's still either you're talking about she has a beautiful spirit.

Either you're talking about like she has a beautiful spirit. Just put someone who is a great writer or a great comedian or someone that has a great personality. Well, I'd say do whatever the fuck you want to do. If that's what Sports Illustrated wants to do, nothing wrong with it. There's nothing wrong with having those girls on it. There's nothing wrong with any of it. But it's a different thing. This is a different thing than it used to be. And that's what I'm saying about bodybuilding.

Like if bodybuilding, if everybody looks like Bert Kreischer and they're like, that's beautiful too. Like, okay, that's not what we're here for. We're here for freaks. The argument is that we're conditioned to like certain shapes. But that's not true. And I don't, it's like evolution wise. And they go, what about Botticelli? And their women were bigger and plumper back then.

Nobody had any food. Yeah, it was a sign of no one had food. And the people who had food were high status. And once we learned about nutrition and once we learned about health and arteries, like you kind of, the beauty, I don't think the beauty standard changed. Good skin, I would argue good skin would work in at any period in the last 14 000 years here's a undeniable truth that we accept wholeheartedly with men when you are overweight you have more of a chance of having a heart attack more of a chance of all sorts of other cardiovascular issues all kinds of increased inflammatory markers that lead to a bunch of different

diabetes. Yeah, it's just not good to be overweight. Just accept it. Yes. But we never think that way when it comes to the public declaration that all bodies are beautiful. Right. All bodies are beautiful means I ignore all the health consequences of the choices you've

made to make you feel better. Right. So it's either you are the rarest of rare that had literally no say in what you ate and someone fed you and turned you into that thing and you really wish you didn't have to eat all that food. I think some people have like hormonal or glandular actual problems. They do. Yeah.

There's no doubt about it. And they can eat 1,500 calories and they'll still be – That's generally not true. Okay. Yeah. They have slower metabolisms. But calories in, calories out, it's pretty strict science. Okay.

It's like people do have faster metabolism. They burn off more. But if you're only taking in 1,500 calories, you keep gaining weight. That doesn't make any sense. It's like, where's the mass coming from? Like, how's it even been, how's it being fed? You know, you have to overeat to get morbidly obese. Like, when you're looking at people.

Oh, yeah, morbidly obese. But I'm just talking about, like, clump or whatever, yeah. A lot of these, if that was a man, you'd say morbidly obese in some of them. Well, it's like, would they say a heroin addict is beautiful? I guess they did during the heroin chic, but I think it was more a look.

But would Sports Illustrated put a heroin addict woman on the cover? They would say that she has a problem. But why doesn't... Exactly. Aren't they the portfolio of health issues, I'm sure, are relatively similar. Very similar. Yeah. It's one of the worst things you can do for your overall metabolic health is make your body carry around an extra 150 pounds.

It's terrible for you. Yeah. It's just not good for you. And so you can say you like the way you look this way, and I say good on you. Have fun. But if you try to say that it's healthy, you're really talking crazy. And the reason why I have to say anything about it is because there's probably someone out there

that might believe you. There's probably someone out there that's listening to that and saying, oh, it is healthy to be 150 pounds overweight. And they don't give a fuck about the fact that they're overweight. And maybe, maybe if they didn't hear you say that, they would take into consideration the fact

that these people that aren't this heavy seem to be happier. They seem to have more energy. They seem to be able to get more done. They're not in pain all the time. Maybe I could get there. And then you find out about people who did get there online. And they give their success stories and talk about how they used to deny it. They used to be in denial.

They used to lie to themselves and say that I feel great. I don't need it. I don't give a fuck what I look like. But then slowly but surely they came to the realization that it's a terrible life choice. And then they did the right thing, they ate well, they dieted, they exercised, and they slowly but surely got to a healthy weight and they feel infinitely better. That's the message I want to hear. I don't want to hear, you know, it's healthy to be 150 pounds overweight.

It's just not. If you choose to be 150 pounds overweight, good luck to you. I hope you don't encounter any health consequences. I hope you live a long, healthy life. But the reality of what we know about the human body is if you continue to be grossly overweight for long periods of time, there's a high likelihood that something's going to go wrong. That's just a fact. This doesn't mean we don't love you. So it's but we don't help people by denying it. It doesn't mean you're a piece of shit.

Doesn't mean, it's like you're making bad decisions somewhere. And they're having repercussions for, I mean they're having repercussions for you individually and they're also having repercussions in the healthcare system overall. For sure. Because if 40, what's's the stat 40 or 50 percent

of people are are uh obese now i think it's we did it recently what was it jamie it was in the 40s right somewhere in the 40s i think yeah it's like holding someone to a standard i think the rest of people are lying i think it's higher than 40 i really well i yeah yeah i'm sure uh yeah if you go to the airport it seems like if you go to disneyland yeah go to disneyland yeah you'd be like oh we got a problem go to knott's berry farm you know what's interesting about disneyland you don't have to be fat or injured to take one of them scooters you sure don't you can just get a same thing yeah but that's weird that's a weird it's like that loophole. Like, if everybody knew that all you have to do is just bring a fucking motor scooter and get around Disneyland, like, everybody knew, and it's just an availability issue,

and what if they ramped up the number of scooters? What if Disneyland becomes fucking Scooterville and no one's walking around? You don't even get any exercise. Do you think people are abusing it? I think so. I saw a girl I thought was abusing it. I saw her, I was like, bitch. Well, it's the comfort. You should be walking. Comfort cart. I know, girl I thought was abusing it I saw I was like well it's the comfort you should be comfort cart I know it's you

maybe she's injured maybe I'm wrong right maybe I'm wrong yeah but I saw a guy jump right off of one and then I asked them I said Ed when you have it because when when our kids were young we get a stroller you could rent a stroller there and so you know they get tired they're four years old walk around Disney World or Disneyland but when you go up there I go what do you have to are there and so you know they get tired they're four years old walking around disney world or disneyland but when you go up there i go what do you have to have wrong with you to use the motorized one like nothing yeah you can just get around a scooter you could get around i mean it's you could get it it's their bird scooter basically they're just i mean you know what i mean like

everybody else is walking yeah i guess with people, they can't really walk that much. Some people, some people that make sense. Old people make sense. The, it's the, at what, it's like cultural values where it's like health versus like discipline, right? Or self-esteem versus discipline. Those are the two poles to me. Like those are the two, like you you what you just said versus like yeah

but they're nice and we don't want to shame people and the truth about shame in my experience is it's a catalyst for movement yeah there's catalyst for change yeah it's a catalyst for improvement a lot of the time do did i overly beat myself up and that probably led to depression? Yeah, but I also got good at shit. And I don't, it's like one of those things like I see the point of not shaming people, but also, you know. The shame itself can be beneficial. The point in not shaming people is don't be a cunt. You know, and the thing is you're going to have people, there's going to be plenty not shaming people is don't be a cunt.

And the thing is you're going to have people, there's going to be plenty of people out there that don't get the hint, they don't get that memo, and they just act like cunts. Don't contribute to that. But don't think that things that make you feel bad don't have some real benefit to them because they really do. There's things that make you feel bad that if you could just figure it out, you're going to be better because of this Yeah, it would be like not doing interventions on drug addicts. We don't want to shame them. It's like yeah

Well, what do you call it? It's like Hold them to a standard. It's people say it's I'm worried about you're gonna die That's kind of like the theme of most interventions, but it's also your waist It's like people waste their lives They get caught in these patterns. And you need something sometimes to step in that gives you a little break from that pattern that lets you sort of reset and reassess. And there's a lot of people that do that and then they jump right back on the horse. But a lot of people don't.

It's a good number. It's a good number of people that gets over. I've known many in my life and some of them with zero programs my friend Dave Dolan he quit drinking cold turkey when he crashed his car and Abandoned at the scene and and then got in trouble and guys drivers lights taken away. He was like fuck this I'm quitting they shame him the police shamed him. Well that he was ashamed They held him to a standard. Yeah. And is that shaming? If you feel shame, does that mean someone shamed you?

No. It's like bombing. Yeah. You need it. Bombing can be a tonic. Yeah. Where you're like, oh, because there are nights where you're crushing and you're like, am I Richard Pryor?

Wait a minute. Seems like I might be Richard Pryor. And then you fucking bomb the next night. You're like, okay, back to the drawing board or that, you know, I will stop doing that tag. I will stop doing that order. I will stop doing whatever I did. Did the audience shame me? I don't know.

They had a natural reaction. The problem is it's a verb. It's a state. It's not like them shaming you. It's like they did something. No, they didn't like what you were doing, and they had criticism. Right. That's normal.

And also, it's like for comics, there's the moment after you fucking film when you have sheer terror because you realize, I don't really have an act anymore. Sure. Oh, my God. That's the scariest fucking moment i think i may have because i've waited so long i have the hour i've been doing and i have a new half and by the time i film it joey that's good i can you know i if i don't have 45 i'm in i'm counting up premises right now i'm counting up premises i'm gonna cut some extra premises i gotta wait until I give birth to this comedy baby, and then I've got to get some mushrooms in my system. I need a good one.

Like two grams in the notebook or five grams in the notebook? Five grams in the tank with a phone on that you can say, Hey, Siri, and give voice notes to. Interesting. Have you done it? Yeah. You got to do the hey Siri thing. I tried for a while to have like a tape recorder running,

like one of the little digital recorders, and I had it Velcroed in there, but everything gets fucked up from the moisture and the salt in the air. It fucks up the electronics. And then I also tried the I'll remember this method, which is the worst. No, you won't.

Hi, I've used the I'll remember this method no you won't hi I've used the I'll remember this method and no you won't you will but not a lot of times you can't yeah I text my other phone ideas sometimes I have a notebook whatever the notes app

yeah I have the notes app too you can say that hey Siri make a note and it'll do that I have a notebook. I mean, I have the whatever the notes app. Yeah, I have the notes app too. And you can say that, hey, Siri, make a note. And it'll do that. You can do that. I've done that in the car before. It's great. If you're driving, then all of a sudden you have this idea.

You don't even have to touch your phone. Just say, hey, Siri, and start talking. Yeah. And it'll leave a pretty fucking good representation of what you said in terms of like the way that- Yeah, the captions on on instagram are like you fucking you're pretty good at this pretty good just fucking talking into it it's um pretty amazing pretty amazing what they could do now with that they have it down where you can listen to someone talk in another language and they'll translate it i know there was one i saw the other day where

classes or you'll or it's an earpiece or something where it'll come in it's um it's it's google's yeah it's for the pixel phone so it's like um i think that's the only thing it works is that the only thing it works on does it work on other devices and it's just a google buds right okay but it did it has nothing to do with the actual headphones themselves. So the app would work on an iPhone as well? Oh, really? I'm pretty sure of that. Oh, I thought that was a feature exclusive to the Pixel phone, which is one of the things that was a selling point of it. Yeah.

We could test it right now. It's like a couple weeks ago. Yeah. You used to have a deal for an Android company, right? Didn't you? I did the voiceover for Samsung. That's a sweet gig, son. You're telling me, Joe. Joe money coffee. No, thanks

That was a great gig. Oh my good really really nice making in that cheddar But did you have to use an Android phone because you had an Android phone for a while? Yeah in that time I did and then I secretly why did you shake that it's gonna explode. All right, I didn't I've never had it before I'm not gonna now I'm not gonna know how to punish. I'm gonna shame it I'm just over there. I don't think it's carbonated. Um, you should to punish it. I'm going to shame it. I'm going to put it over there. I don't think it's carbonated. You should check, but I don't think it's carbonated. I'm just joking. If it was a gill cliff, it would blow the roof off.

I want to talk about, because I'm your depression correspondent. Oh, thank you. I needed one for a while. I think I've been it. I think I've been it. Because by the way, most people, the things I've talked about, the electromagnetic stimulation, that's a big one. Electrocranial EC, whatever. Electrocranial, why am I forgetting? So let's give everybody the rundown that hasn't heard you on here before.

Here's what I've done all right i did uh i did cat i did like zoloft for a long time right 15 years of zoloft um 15 years of zoloft and a little bit of wellbutrin um uh and, then I tried ketamine, uh, did a week of ketamine or five and I just didn't like it. No, but you just tell people like what the history of depression is. Like, what is your history? Oh, okay. Uh, always felt, we used to just call it like a New York attitude. And then in the nineties we called it New York.

And then I realized like, I don't experience joy. Like I just don't really experience joy very much and there's a thing called dysthymia so I went to a therapist they they diagnosed me with dysthymia in 1998 or 9 1999 and uh started taking Zoloft and was like I liked it I remember saying to Dave, I don't want to dance, but I understand why people dance. It was the first time I'd ever understood. I was like, I understand it.

I don't want to do it, but I get it. I can see what's relevant about it. That's hilarious. So it was on Zola for a long time and kind of had no side effects from it. Sexually, I could actually last longer. So I was like, great.

Can I ask you something about this? Not never having joy, but what about when you kill? Like what about standup? That was adrenaline. Really? Yeah. Just because I see like when rock gets off stage, his, and he's, his pupils are like, he looks like a zombie like his pupils are

so dilated from the all the oxytocin like more than anyone i've seen get off stage like a dip we all have like a glow when you kill and you go like well they were nice but he gets like really fucking dilated so i would just get like oh good um so you would just get like, oh, good. So you would just get like a relief? Yeah, I would just get like probably ego, but not elation. But not, ooh, that was fun. Yeah, not elation. Is there a thing you do that gives you like a video game or any kind of activity that gives you, ooh, that was fun? I would go historically Grand Theft Auto.

I'm dead serious. Really? Grand Theft Auto, especially the one in Miami, we used to have Vice City, I think. That would really hit me. How long before they do that for the Oculus and give you like a fake car to sit in? Please.

You know how wild that would be? I mean. My friend Peter, he's like a serious car driver. He has an actual race car. Yeah. And he has a F1 simulator in his house. So he has like a steering wheel and the screens wrap around. Do you watch the show on Netflix, by the way?

No. Everybody keeps telling me I have to. I'm just, I'm going to be the third one. If you want to start with an episode, it's called Man on Fire, episode three. I start with episode one, bro. Okay. I'm not cheating. I mean, you're not going to,'re they're not gonna get skimped. I'm just saying like one of the best

camera coverage and narrative and a Near perfect television show I can't wait because everybody says it's awesome Yeah, and you know they have a Formula One track here And so last year we went to a circuit of the Americas to. All right. They do a race now here. Right. Dude, it's wild watching those things. Yeah. They're very fast.

So fast. Yeah. And the amount of traction that they have, the way they can cut corners. It's insane. And so Peter has this thing in his house and, you know, it's like it's got a shifter and everything. And he said, this is like a rudimentary version of there's one that's like worth 1.5 million dollars And you sit in a fucking car you sit in a car And there's a LCD screen that wraps entirely around it and the thing moves like the way the car does yeah

So as you're going it banks mmm car like actually like every team has one at this point They must yeah, because otherwise you're just you're either doing that and you're getting like really close skill development or you're risking your fucking life like whipping around the track every day yeah which i think it's also not easy and it's not good for the car like the cars can't really run that long i wonder if you if they do train on it or if it's just a supplementary thing. Because I would imagine there's no substitute for actually making the decision to hit the corner at the right time. Yeah. There's no substitute for getting the timing of the lines. I know they all do the simulators because they show it.

They all do simulators, whether it's the $1.5 million or the $100,000 one. I wonder how much they supplement with that. It doesn't make sense, though, that if you did both the racing, like you don't do a certain amount of actual track racing, a certain amount of track running and practicing, and then a certain amount of simulation, it would definitely up your numbers. It's all about getting the numbers in, right? And getting the reactions right.

Yeah, like any, just reps. Especially if you've never been to a track before. Like if they can give you a simulation and you can download um you know a simulation of that track and you do all the turns in the right order they that's what they do yeah that's amazing that's a great thing they have like the tracks and then they yeah they have to know it's like a it's like a golf course somewhere they have to know the exact yeah but you don't have any time to make fuck-ups like unlike golf yeah golf you have a lot of time you know it's so fucking dangerous it's so dangerous and what they're doing now with cars just regular production cars you're getting regular production cars that have near

supercar capability well I was doing a joke about when you were saying well what gives me joy when I drove a Teslala and hit the gas i laughed out loud i literally la and i was like i have to get one because nothing makes me laugh out loud i laughed out loud like god damn it this is funny and i don't even care about speed or cars like like that the thing about it is though it's actually safe because if you wanted to merge into traffic if something went wrong and you had to get away from something really quick, you could get away from stuff quick. I've used it, yeah. Yeah. Well, that's what helps me drive like an asshole, because I can cut people off and then be like, I won't pay that.

I'll be out of your hair in a second. It's silent, too. Yeah. So you're cutting, you're taking off. Did it even happen, sir? If you do that in a Corvette, you sound like a douchebag. Yeah. You do that in a Tesla, it's like, what happened there. Yeah, you do that at Tesla. It's like what happened there

No, it's a pleasure was all mine. He doesn't have to slam Do you what do you drive the most um I drive my Tesla a lot yeah, but uh, I Also have a Dodge Ram that I drive a lot too cuz I'm in Texas You've got to had to be a. Be a sucker not to. But it has 1,000 horsepower. Is that the truck or that's the- It's a truck. It's a TRX. Got it.

A Hennessy TRX. Great. So I drive two stupid things. I also die. All right. So back to depression. So tell me, you've this history of just always having like this no joy- It felt like a low grade, like sort of a lead blanket.

Huh. And I think it read on me. You know what I mean? Like it's kind of a hmm, like a thud or a hum. You always did seem like a little surprised if people were nice to you, if that makes any sense. Yeah. I had low expectations for people's behavior well that was my i know that's a weird thing to say no that was my honest take of you from like when i first met you yeah

like i was always like hey man what's up and you're like oh hey hi like you almost like well i always say that about you like you were nice to me before there was any reason to be. Other than just being a decent human being. Like from 1992, whatever, November 92 or whenever I met you the first time till today. Well, that's nice to hear. Yeah. I try to be nice. Yeah. So it's like something I work hard on.

Yeah. It's really important. And it's hard for you because you're such a piece of shit. I think anybody could be a piece of shit. Yeah. It's really important. And it's hard for you because you're such a piece of shit. I think anybody could be a piece of shit given the wrong circumstances, but I've always tried to be nice. No, yeah,

and I would, I can, I'm living proof you were nice to me when I was 18, 19. Yeah, you were a door guy at Boston Comedy. Sure.

That probably was like 91 or 92, man. Yeah, 92 was when I started. That's when you started working? Yeah. So that was when I knew you. Yeah. Because I lived there until 94. Yeah. 94 was when i made the trek out to hollywood i remember when

i did fear factor and then uh i did the chappelle show and i knew that you were running it with dave i'm like that's incredible i remember you from the boston comedies i'm like dude how did you do this is amazing yeah remember we filmed that thing in that freezing cold fucking warehouse and we had those burners You had to stand next to literally a fire. Yeah, like a propane burner and you're standing next to this fucking blowtorch Yeah to try to warm yourself up and free like you couldn't we couldn't figure it out and Dave never broke character Never broke character and my friend Eddie Bravo was with me and Eddie Bravo had just gotten back from Abu Dhabi which the world jiu-jitsu championships where he he tapped out Hoyler Gracie and

So Dave would walk by go horse Gracie you tapped out horse Gracie and Eddie would go no It's Hoyler Hoyler he goes horse Gracie and he was just he wouldn't break character. He's Tyrone biggums Yeah, like the entire day was hilarious. He was so Hilarious yeah, he was there. He was hilarious. Yeah, he was very, that was. This was before they broke his heart. Yeah. He was young and just having a great fucking time. That sketch was in 04.

That wasn't that long before. Like we were, it was soon. Well, you guys did it for two years and it was, in my opinion, the funniest sketch comedy show that has ever been made i think pound for pound funny nothing can fuck with it you have some of the best classic sketch comedies that i've ever seen in my life like the fucking the guy who is the black white supremacist who is blind yeah yeah yeah no i know it's just one of these things where i'm like man that's a good fucking like god that bit was so good yeah that bit was so good that when

i saw it on tv i had to put my hand in my face like this like oh i remember writing jokes for it and being like wow that's a very good joke there's some bombs and then you're in it too your fucking head explodes which is hilarious oh yeah that's right yeah yeah yeah no there was just a lot of like and that's just the first episode like there was just every week it was some good shit there was so many man i mean for something that came along that was only for two years it wasn't that long you know in terms of the amount of time that was on the air and then but it fuck it was the the highs were so high that if that show kept going i really believe that i mean i think dave and you could have kept doing that for years that i don't know about i think you could have kept doing it i think it's hard i know

it's hard but uh you guys had a special thing man yeah. Yeah, I agree. You really did. And Dave is especially good at that. He's especially good at that. Well, that's what it is. Because I used to put, like, now I think, I used to put Eddie as number one in sketches. And I'm like, I think Dave might have taken him. It's close. It's definitely close. You know, the first one that I did with you guys was before you.

I did it with Bobcat Goldway. Oh, no, no. I was there. Sorry. It was on the street. Yeah, before I did it with you. It was a fucking great. I saw we got you, Dee Snider from Twisted Sister, and Stephen King on He was there? On the same day, just walking around the city.

And Stephen King asked the fucking, in retrospect, the coolest question. It was ask a black dude. And Stephen King said, do black people want to go to black dentists and black mortuaries? Whoa. And it's one of those things of like, wow, you have a fucking good brain, dude. Because he didn't think about it right just it was just like yeah i got a question um but uh yeah it was yeah and then yeah then we bumped into you and i just had the feeling that day like this could work out like

this we're getting good breaks yeah like good like randomly yeah like opportunistic you know or opportunities that were like fortuitous. Yeah, for me, I was just walking down the street and I see Dave with a fake mustache on. And he had a box. He had like a box that he was holding. I'm like, I go, what are you doing, man? He goes, Joe, I'm giving out the best New York boobs. Yeah.

And so. That's so stupid you have great new york boobs like you can't even do that today no absolutely not there's not a chance i mean he pins a new york boobs medal on that lady yeah yeah yeah like her dad and that's her dad yeah there's no way you could do that today like he might get canceled just because we're bringing this up they might go can we get it off the screen they might pull that from youtube this could be a real issue now uh they they'll put it on their list isn't amazing we'll put them on their list of grievances changed in 20 years that was 20 years ago yeah essentially uh so so yeah so that was but even

then i was distressed that again that good. To have an accomplishment like that. So once it started going and you realize, holy shit, we got, like, a really unbelievably good sketch. Yeah. It's just you start from a place of, like, not a lot of worth. And then you do shit that's like, oh, that's unassailably worthwhile. Right. You know what I mean? And then did you get a good feeling?

I got a good feeling and then a bad feeling when it it ended but i had a good feeling from doing it i really love doing it and it felt like you know connected it felt like in the in the in the flow so to speak um i know you know have you guys ever had a conversation about doing it again or doing another one yeah and we both were like it just didn't it's like there's a there's something about it that's like a young person's like 29 interesting we're 29 so it's like you've got more anger you've got more uh energy. You've got more like fight. And then you get not even having money it's just you just get more like

yeah. More edgy with the subject matter too. More. More edgy with the subject matter. You take more chances. Yeah. It's just you just don't know you're just reckless.

Right. You're just that Dave one time said that we're like thrill killers yeah we're you know i he'd be like i'm gonna shoot i'll be like chop their fucking head off yeah and you're like i'm gonna chop their fucking you know it's like you just get like you know we should do uh so the r kelly one yeah He's peeing on a girl? Yeah. Yes. Like fucking reckless. Reckless. Like, should we be doing this? This is very reckless. You know who's doing that now?

It's Shane Gillis. Gillian Keeves. I loved his hour, yeah. But you know, have you seen the Gillian Keeves sketches? I've seen a couple of them. Have you ever seen Trump speed dialing, speed dating? I don't think I have. Here, play it.

Just put that on. Well, you need to watch this. First of all, his Trump impression is off the fucking charts. Yeah, it's very good. And they do these sketches. Like they had one of them was a dad went to OnlyFans to pay the bills. That's funny. Shoving a vibrator up his ass.

Like, here, play this. Welcome to speed dating. Each of you is going to meet for about three minutes then you're going to hear this buzzer okay and when that goes off we're going to move to the next table ready to find some love tana what are you doing here i was asked to speak at this hotel. It turns out there's some type of pussy banquet going on. Can I have one second? Just give me a second.

Fuck you, you fucking piece of shit, ugly, fat, orange. Fuck. Social media. They had to take it away. I was too good. In fact, go ahead, put it back up. Put it back up. People say I've got bad makeup.

Tana looks like someone painted her face like a clown. That's what we're gonna call her. Tana, it the clown. She looks like him. She looks like she should be in a sewer, bothering children. There's certain moves he does that are so goddamn good. You are utterly disgusting.

I'm disgusting. I saw you walk in, I said, who's this? Is this a pig? I didn't know they were letting pigs in. You're a dictator. Old Sage, what a loser. What a loser she was. Somebody needs to tell her that her pussy stinks.

When you walked in, I could practically smell you. Your vagina stinks. Smelled up the whole room. No one here is gonna go on a date with you. There'll be no problem there. I'll get a date. There's gonna be so many dates, people, whoa, this guy has so many dates. Please, none. I. I'll get a date. There's gonna be so many dates people. Whoa, this guy has so many dates

I Don't even need a date That like There's pussy This is pretty exciting I've never been on a date with a white guy before hit the buzzer I'm just wondering what it would be like with something a little smaller. Let me stop you there, Elaine. I don't know who sat in this chair before me, but it stinks. I told her!

Any interest? You're gay. Hey, blame the dairy industry. I would never suck a guy's dick. But if I did, it'd be one of the best sucks he's ever had. A few years ago, women would have the flat butts. Not you. You've got a very nice one. Thank you. You know, I did, I polled very well with the blacks.

How am I polling with you? I saw you come in. I said, that's the one. The belle of the ball. You're the prettiest one. I'm gonna be completely honest with you here. I'm not that interested in... You're the ugliest. Do me a favor.

Could you take your gigantic perfect tits and leave? I don't recall saying I would get a date here but if I did say that maybe I will. Oh my god. Hello. Oh my god. Do you like my shirt? I got a dye to the special the tackle shop. There's a two-for- one at the tackle at the tackle shop, the beaten tackle. I can get you one. It's two for one. Wow. How are you, Mr. President? Well, I'm great, especially since you. Since you expose all the all the Jews

that were put in 5G, my brain that wanted the meth. That girl's great. How are you at oral sex? Pretty good, to be honest. My teeth come out. Siobhan, how would you like to go on a date with Donald Trump? Yes, finally.

Oh my God, I won. Did I win? I got head. Can you show clips on here I just did no I don't know but I'm saying I don't know I mean I'm only promoting them

I don't think no I'm just wondering like I feel like the last time I was here like we couldn't show some shit well if it was on YouTube I would say that

wouldn't be smart cause like they'd probably have the copyright to that and rightly they would pull it down but we're just promoting them. And it would be under the Spotify.

You think I could do that? Yeah. I'd talk to you afterwards. Oh, afterwards we'll talk. Uh-oh. We might have to hack that out. Either way, if we edit it out, it's awesome. Gillian Keeves, great sketches.

So, yeah. But that's the same thing, though. Young guys. Yeah. Reckless. Reckless. Yeah. Reckless. Yeah. It's like you kind of got to be like and not know how hard it is, kind of like childbirth,

where it's like, I don't know. Now we know how long shit takes. It's also the internet didn't have the same level of criticism back then. It just was like, it wasn't much. Yeah, it wouldn't get dissected for- Social media. Yeah, for like righteousness or like doctrine. Like Twitter came around in like 2007-ish, right?

Somewhere around then? Yeah. So yeah, would it just be less fun? So, depression. So anyway, depression. Back to depression. So, and I was slowly building and then like doing stand-up Netflix special. It was like, it felt good.

And then around that time, I tried ketamineflix special it was like it felt good and then around that time i tried ketamine and just didn't like it didn't just didn't work on me i remember we were in the hallway of the store right by the main room and you're like i thought i was gonna go to like a clinical setting and again maybe i'll feel it i mean who knows he goes I am fucking tripping balls that's what you said yeah in a just in a doctor's office like gone like it was on like the 11th floor of a in Westwood it wasn't like a spa and you like it was like here's your validation get valid he's like a doctor it was like a hospital kind of so when they give it you, do they give you a description of what the effect is going to be like? They kind of don't.

They just say like this is a good depression. Now, having said that, it's worked for people. It's worked for a lot of people I know. I've heard good things. Yeah. So I think I'm actually in the minority in that I didn't like ketamine. Because I was early talking about it on here, everyone thought I liked it and I just didn't like it But what what was the experience like so they don't tell you what it's gonna do

No, they say it works on some people, but they don't say you're gonna have a complete No, yeah, it's like slightly hallucinogenic. Maybe I don't even know if they told me that much really I and I don't want to go on the record. I may just not remember. Now, are you restrained? No, I'm just in a, I was in a hospital bed. So you're just laying in a bed, regular bed. Like three quarters, sitting up, craftmatic.

Are there rails on the side? I don't know, I don't remember. Probably not. It wasn't, I wasn not. I couldn't move. Once I took it, my hallucination was generally speaking, I got into a small world kind of cart, and I went into a kind of neon. Like Winnie the Pooh ride? Kind of, yeah.

And there were machine elves, and then I kept seeing like maps of California like Grand Theft Auto style pull out maps and Not that I didn't really had nothing much happened I didn't I've had people have stuff with parents or friends or whatever like traumatic experience Nothing like that happened for me. Um when you say machine elves, like what do you mean? Like the stuff you've talked about like this sort of like terror at 30,000 feet Twilight Zone little like When you say machine elves, what do you mean? The stuff you've talked about, like this sort of like- The same thing you said. Terror at 30,000 feet, Twilight Zone,

little goofy little- But was it like a fractal thing? The thing about the DMT ones, it's all fractal. You see them, you see infinite numbers. Mine was closer to Tron, I would say. But like thinner neon and more like a grid like uh like but like uh graphing paper yeah but like all sort of vague dimensional neon the machine elves thing was Terrence McKenna's thing that's what he always just say it's a good description I guess I kind of I just assumed that it was. I've only gotten them on ketamine.

I never thought of them as machines. They seem like they don't. I assume machine meant they were in the machine. They were just elves. They were just like little goblin little motherfuckers. That makes sense. Yeah, that actually makes more sense. That was like fine.

Then I did. Okay, that makes way more sense. Transcranial magnetic stimulation. That's one where they're sort of tapping. It's like, uh, they put sort of a thing on you and it feels like it's a electric electromagnetic. Uh, it's like a cat scan. It's what it kind of feels like. And it's just weird. Like, do you mind if I ask you a couple more questions about the ketamine? Yeah, of course. How long does it last? 40 minutes. 40 minutes.

Yeah. And so is it almost instantaneous because it's IV? They're giving it to you IV? Eight minutes, probably tops. So you lay there and within eight minutes you're gone. Gone. And you're gone for 45 minutes. Yeah.

Wow. And I was kind of like at a certain point you can kind of hear people. They're all being quiet, but you're aware that they're there. Is there any hangover or anything after it's over? That's mostly what I had. My eyes were burnt, like were sort of burning, irritated for like a month or two. Ooh. Yeah, it sucked.

And it just kind of felt, I kind of felt hungover. Did you ask them about that? Yeah, and the guy said, I've never had someone have that. And so you did feel hungover. So the juice wasn't worth the squeeze for you. At all, for that. I did ecstasy once, and I loved it.

But the next day, I felt so bad. I felt like dog shit. And I was like, ooh, I'm not doing that again. I couldn't read. I was sitting in a cafe, and Ooh, I'm not doing that again. I couldn't read. I was sitting in a cafe and I was trying to read a magazine and I couldn't read. Yeah. I couldn't focus. Do you think you could have done anything to mitigate it the day before? Yes. If I knew about 5-HTP, which is, you know, serotonin precursor, like there's a product that Onnit actually has called New Mood that boosts up your serotonin.

But you were on 5-HTP. You're actually probably one of the places where I heard about it the first time. I heard about it because Benji, not Benji. Think of, not Benji. One of the store guys told me I'd done ecstasy. And he was like, take some of this after. And then I read about it and it was antidepressant. It does help your body, you know, have the building blocks.

It's a serotonin precursor. Yeah. Yeah. And then it's also like tryptophan converts to 5-HTP and 5-HTP converts to serotonin. I think that's how it works. It has both of them in. Like New Mood has both of those things in it. So it gives you like a more synergistic effect.

But a lot of people take those kind of things to come down after ecstasy like you could buy it that you could buy 5-htp on amazon and all those places yeah you can get it at the any vitamin store now at this point yeah it's interesting those things like neutral i'm super fascinated by nootropics now even mike tyson has a nootropic now. Mike Tyson sent me a case of his Jones soda. He has Jones soda, and it's a nootropic soda. It's pretty good. None of them really have worked. Like, I tried St. John's wort. I've tried a bunch of them.

Have you tried AlphaBrain? Yours, yeah. I think I got a little nauseous. Like, sometimes 5-HTP would make me nauseous. No, no. It doesn't have 5-HTP in it. Does Jones supplement have it? Oh, I'll take some alpha-brane. That's your thing, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's on it? Yeah, I'll take some. This is, what is it? Does it say what the ingredients are? Tiger's blood? Tiger's blood. How dare you?

I think that's just the flavors. Here it goes. So it's got niacin, vitamin B, B12, pantothenic acid. And then L-theanine. This is the stuff, the Wasana proprietary blend. So they don't tell you what the proportions are. They just tell you what the milligrams are. So this proprietary blend, 515 milligrams, it's L-theanine,

proprietary blend, 515 milligrams. It's L-theanine and acetyltyrosine, lion's mane extract, fruiting bodies, and mycelium and caffeine. So it has some lion's mane mushrooms, which is supposed to be good for neurogenesis, and then it has, stop please, the theanine, which is great for memory. And I don't know, I've heard of tyrosine before too,

and acetyl tyrosine what does that do i know what that does i can't i just can't remember but preservative or something i don't know is it but either way it's a soda that can boost your memory which is great you know and there's a ideally yeah neuro caffeine helps you know what's funny is caffeine does most of the heavy lifting on those things caffeine does for sure if cap none of them no one has these things without caffeine because it's like caffeine's the one you feel i bet it kicks in and synergistically works with it too because i know alpha brain works really well with uh caffeine and that gum that neuro gum have you tried that shit that's really good okay um that stuff has uh some caffeine in it too i think it has uh 40 milligrams per um tablet

mental performance alertness yeah okay so l-tyrosine is given as a supplement to increase l-tyrosine levels in people with pku i don't know what that is l-tyrosine has been used in alternative medicine as a possible effective aid in improving mental performance alertness a lot of these categories that went the more you learn the less you're like, that might not be effective because it's like it doesn't cross the blood brain barrier or shit like that where you just go, I don't fucking know. It might just be a superstition. Or how maybe some of it gets through. I know that's some of the criticism of other things like ginkgo biloba.

People don't think that that works. But the thing about certain nootropics is they have done studies like Boston center for memory did some studies that we, we actually funded for alpha brain and they showed improvement in, um, performance in terms of your ability to form sentences. People are quicker to form sentences. They had a better verbal memory and they also had better reaction time. And there was also a thing about the alpha state, like alpha brain states. I guess, I don't know how they measure that, though.

Is that measured through activity? I'm not sure. Yeah, it's probably some reading or something. So increasing peak alpha flow state, whatever the fuck. That sounds like horseshit. I know it's not, but I mean, I hear that term. If someone with wooden beads tells me about peak alpha flow state, but apparently it's not, but I mean, I hear that term. If someone with wooden beads tells me about pink, you know, pink alpha flow state, but

apparently it's measurable. And so they did find improvements. And I feel an improvement in terms of memory when I take these things. It really does work. Because like podcasts, 80% of it is like recalling things. Associations and recall. A lot of memories, you know? So you have to have a good memory.

Well, that's what I'm always impressed with about you is the the amount of weed you smoke and it doesn't you have a very good recall yeah the weed doesn't but the weed fucks with it sometimes though like uh weirdly like things i do know but i'd forget someone's name but i think that's a hard drive space issue i really do believe that you know it's hard to know the older you get where you go, is my brain worse or did it make a decision about relevance? Did it just go, I don't care about this, so I'm just

going to get rid of it? I don't think that's the case because with most things that I'm excited about, my recall is excellent. I think the real issue is I don't have enough hard drive space because I think at a certain point in time, you've taken in so much information that you can't keep it in recent files. So even though I read a brain, the people can only, you should only know 50 people. Dunbar's number. Yeah. Yeah. And I wonder what the amount of like facts. Yeah. We actually looked up

Dunbar's number. It's all, It's actually more complicated than we thought. It's not as simple as like you can only know 250 people. It's like there's levels of- It's associations, right? Yeah, which makes more sense to me. Yeah. Because I definitely know more than 250 people or 150 people. I know a lot of fucking people. But I can remember them when I'm around them sometimes.

Yeah. If you just remember like- Yeah. You're familiar and you don't even know what and then sometimes like I'll have a conversation with someone it's like you go back in time like hey what's up how you doing yeah fuck's going on like oh my god I haven't seen you forever and then damn you know but that's just a normal function of being a person you're only supposed to

have so much fucking information in your head that's why I like a lot of guys are like super geniuses are often like like weird socially like clueless i would argue almost all of them i've been doing a joke where it's like you it's like god's making a video game character and it's like you put you know put a bunch of it's like bill cosby he was like let's put it all in comedy you know like what about morality he's like he'll figure it out. And I'm like, wait, what the fuck? That's a great joke. Yeah, like, ah. That's a great line.

Yeah, he'll figure it out. It'll be fine. Like all these kids. Like, it's anything. If you have a big, if a girl has a big tit, she has small butt. Like, you know what I mean? Like, there's just natural, well, not anymore, but like natural balances of like, there's natural balance like so if you're

incredibly gifted in one area you're going to be deficient in another area a lot of times it's hidden but if it's social it's you can't hide it yeah a lot of times it's just a function of the amount of energy that it takes to get like really good at something or really into something like if you're someone who's just only fixated on your looks, the amount of time that must be involved in just looking good, Jesus Christ, how do you have time for other shit? Or a lot of these people are just a little autistic. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And sometimes those people get really fucking good at things. Yeah. Really good at things. I mean, they can focus. Yep. You get a really intelligent autistic kid, like, interested in something, like whether it's coding or jujitsu. Dinosaur, whatever.

Whatever the fuck it is. Isn't that weird? It's like whatever is missing in terms of, like, a connection with people socially, sometimes, not always, because sometimes they're just, know they're really troubled but sometimes it allows them to get so unbelievably good at this thing that they do like whatever it is it's almost like there's a guy named shane van boning and he's one of the best pool players in the world in fact he just won the world championships i mean he's been one of the best for decades

he's got hearing aids when he he plays, he shuts them off. Shuts them off, and he doesn't hear shit. He just concentrates on the balls moving around the table, and that's all he does is play pool. This motherfucker plays pool eight hours a day constantly. He's so good. He's so good. And when you watch him play, he just shuts those hearing aids off

and just gets into it. And he has, like like another layer of detachment from the game, from the world rather, while he's playing the game that other people don't have. Other people have to ignore the sounds they hear. They have to ignore their own footsteps. He doesn't hear shit. Yeah, I've been doing a joke about that too

where it's like every great athlete is crazy. Oh yeah. It was like where they talk about like we need our athletes to have good mental health. Did you watch the Michael Jordan documentary? Then I have a bunch of bits about us. It's like these people are fucking nuts. Michael Phelps, you know he won 23 gold medals?

You know what the second most of all time is? Nine. So like, yeah, he's going to get a DUI every once in a while. Like that's just the fucking, that's just the price we pay. Who was the person who ratted him out for smoking out of the bar? I mean, what a punk ass shit. That was early internet. Early internet.

It's like 04. First rat. One of the first rats. Because he got in real trouble for that. Yeah. Isn't that hilarious? And now it's like, what? Like, if you want to talk about a

guy who's unquestionably healthy uh-huh look at his choice uh-huh he chooses to smoke out of a bong uh-huh maybe he's on to something yeah yeah exactly i mean he's a fucking health expert he's a peak performance expert who the fuck knows are you more worried about his health than he is i'm guessing he's a little more invested in his lungs than you are. Anyhow. Maybe he's right about the benefits of it. You fucking. Well, that was just a snitch situation.

Such a snitch. I think he was just at a party and wanted to smoke a joint. You think that guy uses that? I'm the guy who got Michael Phelps in trouble. I also videotape a lot of concerts if you want to watch them on my phone. I've got five different fireworks on my phone. So, I don't know if you guys got time later. So, yeah, so ketamine, it just was, like, not for me.

So it just tripped you out, but it didn't make your depression any better. Didn't have any, yeah. Didn't abate the depression at all. And the magnetic thing did? Yes. Transcranial magnetic stimulation. Had to do it 45 times. Wow. And then went back. Where do you go to do it?

Another office in West LA. Jesus. Third floor, second floor, good West LA. How long before you felt it? I felt it about three sessions in. Really? Wow. So the first one you're like, hmm. Yeah, maybe. Second one, hmm. And then third one, what in. Really? Wow. So the first one, you're like, hmm.

Yeah, maybe. Second one, hmm. And then third one, what do you think? Oh. That's similar. Like, I don't want to dance, but I'm just like lighter. Lighter. Do you do any cardio?

Yeah. Do you? What do you do? Run. Run. Does that make you feel better? No. I've never gotten runner's high.

I don't even, I'm like, what even, how could I get runner's high? Really? Yeah. Yeah, I got a Peloton. Damn. Yeah. That's crazy. I thought that was universal.

I exhausted it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, or I think I exhausted it. You exhausted the possibility? I felt like I did. In terms of like treatments, I did a ton of different medications and I did a ton of different like alternative things. And TMS worked. And then I went in 20, right before COVID, I was in China.

I was doing a show and I ended up getting like a supercharged version of TMS. They could do 40 sessions in a week basically and because there's no there's less regulation Jesus so the did they cook your brain it's I'll show you video it's pretty fucking it's like pretty graphic it didn't but it looks like it hurts it didn't it hurt a little jamie so yeah yeah post it up here yeah um the dude yeah uh so you you feel it yeah you uh you feel the you definitely feel the uh the magnet with your brain jimmy are you on? So is it, are you better now? Well, I'm going to get to that.

Ooh, the buildup is killing me. I love it. Airdrop. Let's do Jamie's MacBook Pro. Ooh. Incoming, Jamie. What a great world we live in. Pretty cool.

Send a video through the sky. Pretty cool. That is pretty fucking cool. Okay. Send a video through the sky pretty cool. That is pretty fun Okay Yeah, it's the funniest It's the dumbest I can't believe what it's Whoa, dude like that wasn't happening in L.A. Like, that one's more severe, right?

Is it better? I think it was. I think it was just better. It's like a stronger, it seemed like what I got in L.A. times three or four. Could you get a home unit? I don't know. I mean, it's pretty well, I i mean it's also covered by insurance which is pretty cool but you have to go somewhere right yeah wouldn't it be better if you just like

watch an ozark with a helmet on well that's what you end up doing anyway rewind it um so i'm so then covet starts somebody sends me an article in in the New York Times about ayahuasca. I'm like, and he's like, we got to do this. I'm like, all right. I get a number, get a private. I had to go off antidepressants. This is October 2020. I go, I wean myself off of, I'm taking Zoloft all the time.

I'm like, why am I taking Zoloft? I'm like, I don't need it, Frank. Because the problem was without Zoloft, the time and i'm like why am i taking so i'm like i don't need it frank because the problem was without zoloft i wasn't depressed but i was getting panic attacks on stage which is like this i can't have this so i take zoloft like and i wouldn't get panic attacks uh only on stage yeah i and one time i got one like in a meeting it was fucking weird i'm like i i know this person it was odd i would just get them for seemingly no reason and um and so go off antidepressants do ayahuasca with like uh with one uh shaman type guy at my buddy's house and it's like very pleasant it was like we did one cup it was me bianca from the store uh my friend bijan saramello like uh and it was like nice right um it kind of felt like

i like cried about groups of people groups of people i don't know just like gatherings of people made me cry like i was crying so hard like i wear like your nostrils are closed and is it unusual that you experience the kind of sadness that makes you cry it wasn't even sadness it was like kind of tears of like joy reverie not joy and not like tenderness we'll say like tenderness about like from a place of love. Okay. More than a place of sadness or it was like just. You feel connected to it.

Yeah. Yeah. I feel connected to like the earth. I was getting like also seeing like wide shots of forests. Ooh. Just like, okay, cool. So we, and then, you know, last about three and a half hours. Then we all hang out and talk, whatever.

And then I find a better – that guy was kind of a lightweight. And then I find a better circle to do it in via someone that I met on a commercial. She was like, come to the circle. So I – first night at the circle, it's like by six flags in L.A. It's not like – it's like by six flags in la it's not like it's not peru um and uh it's i couldn't get the amount right and i was just kind of nauseous and didn't really feel much and i did ayahuasca did two or three cups of ayahuasca i tried this thing called hop a which is they blow ash sacred tobacco ash up your nostrils and it's like you have fucking rocks in your head i've never felt a thing like this and apparently it like multiplies

the ayahuasca for like eight to ten minutes it's like a fucking mushroom and in super mario brothers where you're like just it's you're like. And people, you can do a thing where you do an intention and a lot of times you'll vomit up, you'll purge up a thing, like a notion. I have a, yeah, I got a lot of stories. So the ash? The ash, if you look, it's spelled R-A-P-E with an umlaut over the E. So it's spelled rape-P-E with an umlaut over the E.

So it's spelled rape, but it's with an umlaut over the E. And people, it's in a thing called a tepe. So that's just smoke, but they were using ash. That's smoke, but there's one, the first one, now that's smoke. If you do, get rid of ayahuasca and smoke. Just do, put an um boom lot over the e in yeah the problem is rape crisis it just goes yeah if you put it if you put a thing over the e how do you do that on a regular keyboard you just saw the e you

hit option and then hit hit e and I'm just gonna come up. Can you Google Rappay? Yeah, there we go. Let's see. Okay. Okay, there it goes. Oh, wow. That's wild. That looks painful. It's wild. Look at the face. Yeah, I tried that. And so the ash goes up your nose.

Yeah, and you're like I was just like, yo, this shit, people purge immediately. But a lot of times you can purge up like a notion. You can purge up an intention. You can purge up, I mean, a buddy of mine purged up his mother's hatred of him. Oh, Jesus. Like a thing. I'm basically like a goofball.

I'm like a new age goofball is what I'm trying to tell you. So that's the first night. It's my second career night, first night at the New Circle. Second night, I get the amount correct. And I was an atheist. And I opened my eyes at one point in the circle and I was like, oh, I'm in the presence of God right now. I don't, I can't explain it. It's a feeling. I am in the presence of what I can only describe as God. And I was like, this is the first spiritual

experience I've ever had in my entire life. 12 years of Catholic school, altar boy, church, mass, fucking nothing. And then this was like, oh, this is what church is supposed to be. Like this connection to the center beam or the center force. And like a real profound, like, like okay i'm no longer an atheist i now believe in a a uh god or creation force and obviously the question would be someone would ask you if they were trying to diminish this they would say but you are on drugs yeah you understand that you're on drugs and this is not a real experience. Yeah.

And this is all highlighted by the hallucinations happening, the neurotransmitters and the way it's affecting your brain. Yeah, I don't, here's the thing, I can't counter that. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm not, it's not one of these things where like, it's true for me. Right, but here's the question. Here's what I always say. things that were like, it's true for me. Right. Well, here's the question. Here's what I always say is I had this very same conversation with Dennis McKenna and we both agreed on this, that who cares if it's real? It's the same experience. Like if you took a pill and that pill or you took

ayahuasca and that ayahuasca makes you reach that state, or if you reach that state from saying an incantation and then you walk through. Holotropic breathing. Whatever it is. Yeah. How do we know that that's not real? Like imagine if God was real and you could get in front of God, but the only way to do it is to eat mushrooms. He'd be like, wait, what? I would argue that's true.

It might be. I mean, do you know what I mean? It sounds so crazy. Like in my experience. But it might be. It's the only way. Now, the good thing is it's in me now. Because then I was no longer an ayahuasca, and I was like, that was as real a thing as has ever happened to me. It's in you, meaning it's changed you?

Yeah. So the depression's gone? Well, I'll get to that. No, no, no. My belief in God. Yes. Belief in a central creation force right and by the way I know how this sounds it's very mockable it's very reducible and like this podcast is filled with mockable reduce sure sure sure sure laughing all the way to the bank and

mocking getting mocked all the way so so the fourth time i do it the that circle that i was doing it and they weren't like covid they were like loose with covid and it's like 20 people in a room and this is in like before the vaccine it's just like early so i'm like ah a guy got covid right after the ceremony i'm like could, could you test? And they're like, we don't really just, whatever. So I went back to the first guy, the original guy, and did a private with Ian Edwards and my friend Catherine and worked for Ian. He had a great time. Not great time, but like a profound spiritual time.

My friend Catherine was sort of like very uneasy and then and I it wasn't working for me and I kept saying yeah just wasn't working I was like maybe I'll take more cuz like it felt like I had to work out the amount at the other place so this place I was like maybe I'll take more and I probably ended up drinking like an ounce and I don't I've come to drink around a quarter of an ounce, but so this was like an ounce and it wasn't working, wasn't working, wasn't working. Hit me like a fucking freight train where like I immediately, I purged and, um, I, I, uh, went into like, i would have a thought like what and my brain and in my brain it sounded like i'd go what and we go and i was like oh i'm in pink floyd land like i'm I'm gone. I'm going to be a drug casualty. Ooh. Then I was in outer space alone, and the universe was dying.

You're alone. We're killing Saturn. Children. The Milky Way. alone we're killing saturn children uh the milky way like that was the message i was getting like it's all dying and you're alone and i breathed i mean it's the most terrifying thing i've ever experienced until i'll get to the the thing that topped it. I was breathing just in case. I was literally like breathing. Ian said, I was breathing like this.

And I was for like, he said about two and a half hours. I have no recollection of any of it other than i'm in outer space like it it's i was when i came to i was i slept with the lights on for a few days it was so terrifying to my absolute core um and i but i realized about three or four days after that from not being on antidepressants the i'd say the floorboards of my mood were a little mushy like the like i could get low lower than i could without antidepressants i'm sorry with antidepressants it would be like more sort of secure and not on antidepressants it was a little loose and gushy and i realized about four days after that terrifying outer space experience that it was completely secure and it was like polished granite. Like you fixed your brain.

Yeah, like I'm never gonna, and I literally was like, I'm never gonna need antidepressants again. Positive. And you haven't had them since? No. Really? Yeah, that was December 2020.

That's incredible. Year and a half. And here we are. It's the end of May. Yeah. So this is a year and a half later. In 2022. That's incredible.

Yeah. I had a little panic on stage, but I figured that out. So I've done AYA four times at this point, had that experience. And I was like, I really like AYA in that it's a connection to spirituality. You know what I mean? Like, I don't have any besides that, you know? And so I went to the other place, the Good Circle, and I had a few rough ceremonies. and I had a few rough ceremonies. Like one of them in the room,

I heard a tiger. Like, it's in the room. There is a tiger in the room. Acoustically, it was like there was a tiger in the room. And then I hallucinated a tiger came around an altar and i went like like real fucking fear and i had a couple tough journeys like that where it was one another one that was funnier is i thought i mean dude in this circle i've seen people get possessed they had to tie a a guy up. Like it's re it's impossible, but I've seen it. It's one of these things where I'm like, ah, this shit's wild. Um,

that one where the guy was possessed, they had to pour salt in his mouth, like real wild shit. Um, I'm like, oh, this is the rapture. This is the rapture. We're in the rapture. This is the end. Like we're in. So I had that like rapture this is the rapture when the rapture this is the end like we're in so i had that like rapture thing again and they go let's go around the room just check in with everybody kneel and i go not good like two couple words to describe your feeling go not good and then they go to the next guy and he goes i'm balancing and i'm like balancing dog this is it like it's over and then when i heard balancing and i and then as they went on i was like oh this is not the rapture i was like neil this is your problem and your problem alone

do you do you think that your state of mind in going into the ceremony has an effect on it or is it just your consciousness interacting with these chemicals? Yeah, you know what's funny? Because I've thought about that. Like, am I, is it like a fevered imagination? And it's, and my, all I would say is I'm not aware. I don't think about the rapture much. Right, but some people, some people take the same amount as you and they have these magical like madre experiences.

Yeah. They're dancing with the mother. Well, I'll get to that. So maybe six. How good is that coffee? It's actually very good. It's very good. It's very tasty.

It's a lot of caffeine. Good for you, Black Rifle. So five, six, seven, eight are rough. And then nine in this, in the circle where I do it, he does a thing called, he opens the room to spirits again. I'm glad everyone knew me before this. Cause I'm like, what? Yeah.

Okay. because I'm like what yeah okay so he opens the room to spirits I start shaking like this for an hour two hours three hours shaking like this and like the funny thing is like I'll get an itch on my nose and I'll be like. And then it just resumes like so I'm not doing it. And it's just whatever is happening. And I and I thought it was traumatic release. There's a thing called traumatic release exercises where your body will shake out trauma. It's like this guy, Peter Levine wrote a book called the body keeps the score which is like the body stores trauma and then if you do traumatic release it'll like shake it out i had it in a therapy session for emdr i would shake i don't fucking know and then but it would i was shaking for four hours okay so here's where it gets bananas woman walks past me just like

doing a little sexy little dance cuz the music's excellent great and I'm like I literally have the thought like one of these days I'm gonna dance like Lucia I mean I'm shaking I go one of these days gonna dance like Lucia my body starts dancing, Joe, and I'm not doing it. Really? I swear to you. I'm not doing it. It's some angels in the outfield shit. Like, it's fucking nuts.

It's nuts. And it happened, that ceremony, and then it started happening pretty regularly. It's not big. It's like arm motions, arm positions that I'm not controlling, that my body just goes into. They call it mediumship in the circle. Like I'm, and here's the crazy part.

I don't feel crazy. Mediumship meaning that a spirit takes over your body. Ostensibly, yes. Here's the thing, man. The only reason why it seems crazy is because more people don't do psychedelics. When you tell these stories to someone who does psychedelics, they go, mm. Yeah. I've been near that.

I'm not weirded out by it. No, I know. I'm not confused. But if I didn't know that that's possible. Also, if you didn't know me and know how cynical I am. Yes, when you were straight-laced. Yeah. It's a weird one, right?

It's so easy to dismiss because it sounds so preposterous. The problem is enough people are going to dismiss it just because of that, which is really unfortunate. Yeah, and also understandable. It is understandable. I literally like where people are like, do you believe in? I'm like, I believe in anything now. that which is really unfortunate yeah and also understandable it is understandable it's i would have i literally like where people like do you believe in i'm like i believe in anything now yeah if you've had a real breakthrough psychedelic experience it's so beyond anything that you could use your words to describe that the only way to really get it into your head is to have one

and it's not for everybody i don't think it's for everybody it's not for everybody. I don't think it's for everybody. Yeah, I agree. It's not for everybody. It's one of these things where I thought this is for everybody and then it's like, it's such a big, it's a big swing. I used to think the same way. I used to think everybody should do it. And now I'm like, eh. I had a really funny thing happen with my mom where I told, one of the, one of the ceremonies I had the thought, like I have my mom's software and my dad's hardware.

Oh wow. the ceremonies i had the thought like i have my mom's software and my dad's hardware oh wow and uh and and i talked to my mom a few days later i was like hey mom i i uh did this thing called ayahuasca and i gotta say it made me love you more and she texted me a few days later could the whole family do it which is like a hack for fucking little kids you get caught with weed just tell them it made you love them more. Do you need multiple sessions to dial it in, though? No, well, what's crazy, oh, yeah, I don't think, I wouldn't expect the best if a family did it. I've heard stories of families doing it, and some people, you know, it's like, it's, it's a,

I hate to say it's a different dimension, but it's a different fucking dimension. It's a different dimension but it's a different fucking dimension it's a different dimension it's a different dimension I mean it doesn't sound like that should be a real thing that's accessible to the average person but if you do the right stuff

and you you know are in the right setting the thing one of the things that was wildest to me was doing it with the Icaros like doing DMT

with the Icaros and you watch them dance to the music. And you're like, is this- Where did you do DMT? You did it with the tribal people? No, no. Icaros is a type of music. Yeah.

Yeah. So we had recordings of this music. No, they play recordings in my circle. One of the songs they play during Hoppe is the best song I've ever heard. Really? Like that's the best song I've ever heard with my ears on earth. While you're on that stuff. Like, it syncs up with the music.

But I can sing it now. I mean, I'm not going to because it's, like, too sacred to me. Maybe you should. But it's, like, they make noises you've never heard where I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah. where I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah. The Icaros seem to be like synced up for DMT.

Or either that or DMT syncs up to it. But something happens. I think it's inspired. I mean, do you ever hear the story of how they came to make ayahuasca? Well, they don't really know. Well, the legend is that the plants spoke to them. The mushrooms mushrooms i thought the legend was like that the mushrooms had spoke to them i mean i'm sure there's five different versions of it but yeah like probably right like for them to put the certain chacruna plant yeah and the cappy plant and boil them for the right amount of time and it's like do you know

the history of that area this is where it gets really interesting the history of that area probably wasn't all just rural tribes like what they think now was that there was a vast civilization in the amazon and in fact the amazon itself was probably at least partially the result of human agriculture gone amok and that's interesting yeah there's all these trees like we pulled this up the other day there's these trees like the i think it's the ice cream bean tree and a couple other trees that uh just overwhelm the canopy they're like they're just these crazy plants that were planted there they even developed their certain type of soil they think what happened and this is all based on that uh the lost city of z It's also the same sort of subject. They think that the original explorers who went there

and had these incredible encounters with people, they saw these magnificent cities, and they're filled with gold, and everything was, like, incredibly advanced. All that shit was gone within 100 years because everybody was dead from smallpox. So those Europeans Introduced diseases just like they did to the Native Americans just like they did to the Mayans just like they did anybody they encountered And they did it to them and just completely wiped them out And now they're using something called lidar where they fly over the jungle right and they're finding grids

They're finding what used to be like the patterns of cities and irrigation and shit. Yeah, it's fucking wild Finding what used to be like the patterns of cities and irrigation and shit. It's fucking wild. Archaeologists find vast network of Amazon villages laid out like the cosmos. So this is the thing. If they were super advanced back then and they all got killed off by smallpox and the only people that survived like the people that lived in the hills, you know, the people that were completely detached didn't get smallpox. Right. And so what you have left is.

The Amish. The Amish of the yeah right but maybe those people who made those incredible cities figured out ayahuasca doesn't that make sense yeah i that's the the they were advanced yes and and you know instead of like the the the what's what happened after those ceremonies is like, it happens when I do mushrooms, I shake. Like your dancing shake? I'm usually sitting, but I'm like- Maybe you have a spirit in you. Maybe you have like an extra spirit that's in you right now that's making it happen.

Here's a crazy- I'll buy it. What do you got? I'll buy it. I literally, nothing is too far from me now. Where I'm like, dude, it happens on stage sometimes. Really? Where I'll hold my arm in a certain way and it'll get, it's happening right now, actually. It's going to be your thing.

Like, you know, Bert Kreischer takes his shirt off. Yeah, I'm going to get, I'm going to do my dancer. My spirit and my fucking arm dancing. Just like, I don't, I don't fucking know. Just like, I don't fucking know. And so, okay. So then I do that probably 13, 14 times. Wow.

Over how many years? A year and a half. That's quite a lot. Thank you. You mean you're burning the oil, right? You're doing it every couple months? That's pretty heavy. Yeah, but it's like, I don't know.

Do I seem depleted in any way? No, no, no. No, no. I don't mean heavy in terms of bad for you. I mean heavy in terms of a lot of experiences. It meant like, I mean, most of the time it was just I would have the shake and I just felt a communion with the spirituality, basically. with the spirituality, basically. You know, there's people out of the University of Jerusalem, I believe that's where it is,

where there's scholars now believe that the whole idea of Moses talking to the burning bush, that the burning bush represented God, that that burning bush was probably the acacia tree, which is rich in DMT. They think there was probably a translation issue and that this was most likely, like it makes sense, right? Say if you smoke DMT and you do have an encounter with God the way you had, right? You have this, which is from DMT. Imagine if they figured out how to do that back then.

What if it was just burning the bush and you could burn it into a confined area and you'd get enough DMT in you that you would see God. Yeah. I mean, again, I don't. Or they can make an ayahuasca or they figured out, you know, what's an MAO inhibitor and how to take the two of them together. Well, that's the other thing. It's like the amount of things that need to line up for humans to be able to digest it. It's like you got to drink vine and you got to.

You know, when Western scientists first started working with ayahuasca and isolating it They they tried to call harming telepathy They thought funny. Yeah, because they they all had these like very Similar experiences where they're syncing up together, so they wanted to call it telepathy, but they had already named it harming It was the rules of scientific nomenclature i guess so that's what they were going to call it they were going to say like that imagine if they did that and we realize and they started studying back then and just imagine what a difference the

world is if it's not harming but telepathy there's a thing called telepathy and you take it what everybody would go what is it called yeah Yeah. Why is it called that? Well, I should, yeah, give me some. If they made our ayahuasca legal in this country and developed research centers and they made psilocybin legal. I believe that'll happen. I mean, I think psilocybin, you know, as someone who's been pretty into it for a couple years. I mean, you can have some really, really big reactions in ways that it's, I don't, I haven't been harmed, but I'm saying like, it's like a clinical situation. This is fucking big shit. It's big shit. It's like big shit beyond trauma,

beyond, uh, it's, it's profound. It is profound. Like it's like profound doesn't cut it. Yeah. Um,

the words don't exist. Yeah. So, so, so to, to bring corporations, doctors, all that stuff.

It's like, I think there has to be a spiritual element to it or else it's... I think it can be very helpful, but it goes to the other point we were saying, which is like, it might not be for everybody. It might not be for everybody, but it also might be one of those things

that just has to get out there. It just has to get loose, and then we figure out how to contain it, meaning what's the proper way to administer it and just let it get through people so enough intelligent people can examine it. figuring out how to contain it and meaning like what's the proper way to administer it and and just let it get through people so enough intelligent people can examine it and have similar experiences so they can talk about it instead of it it comes a lot of the legislation and a lot of the demonization of psychedelic drugs come from people who don't do them

that's the that's the weird part about it is people have these uh ideas that people are trying to escape reality and that you're being weak and like i think it's that's why it's important i think to talk about it because as stupid as it sounds for you when you're explaining it to me it sounds totally believable and i can tell that something happened because you do you seem lighter it's like everyone said that yeah you always everyone every single person i met has said i seem lighter so here okay so i did it a dozen or so times and uh then i'm in new york doing the show unacceptable go to neilbrennan.com slash shows see it in your town and uh someone says hey i gotta I'm someone's here doing five MEO DMT if you want to do it. Um, uh, it's, I can get you in tomorrow.

Okay. So I have a day off. I go, I do it. I think I did it eight o'clock on a Monday. One hit. one hit and I, I had, I always DMT always sounded too severe to me.

The way you described it blast off. Yeah. The way Michael Pollan described it. He was like, he couldn't find much. It was too powerful, but I was like, and I always walked around and then I didn't have any, I was like, I haven't done Aya in a few months and you know, whenever it's a free night, whatever.

So I go and I do it. And this is where I'm like, this shouldn't, this isn't for everybody. Uh, I had the Michael, I, I had to go back and watch your podcast with him because I went to the same place he went to, which is before the Big Bang is where I went. White out, I don't know what I am. I don't know what breathing is. I don't know what breathing is. I don't know what direction is. I have zero orientation whatsoever. I don't know.

I don't know. I couldn't, I like felt like I developed the first synapse. Like, I'm in a, I'm nothing. And, uh, I mean, really scary. Obviously. I mean, it's one of these things where I'm there, but I'm not there. Do you know what I mean? It's like, what is, what am I that's thinking that I'm nothing? Clearly I'm'm like that you get into like sort of Sam Harris world of like yeah you know um and in that ceremony so you start from the big bang and then it felt like slowly my uh character personality traits soul come back into me and it was almost like I could pick what I, I literally said at one point,

like, no, I'm not doing that anymore. Like, uh, it was like a negative or a gossipy thought or a petty thought came in. I was like, no,

no, we're not doing that anymore. I mean, obviously I do, but I'm saying like, it felt like, Oh, I'm getting to pick.

That was just kind of how I explained it to myself. And I probably inhaled at eight and I was back walking home at nine. But I had a big, that was a big one, like that Big Bang thing. I describe it as control, alt, delete for your brain. And when your brain reboots it's got an empty desktop but it has one folder and in that folder it says my old bullshit and you get to go through that folder and decide if you want to just be comfortable and you just want to fall back onto old patterns they're right there for you go and go back into your old

bullshit yeah or recognize that you genuinely have seen something that has the possibility and the capability to reset your brain and reset your life and reset who you are and the way you think about things i i so i had that it's it's fast in a way do you know what i mean? It's 15 minutes. But it's like, oh, fuck. And then slowly you're thinking. And you're like, okay. Yeah. Okay, so I'll leave. And so here's what's crazy. That was Monday.

Saturday night, Ryan Hamilton, great comedian, came to my show. And I'm walking home with him. And he grew up Mormon. And I'm talking. I'm like, oh, yeah. And we've talked about religion before I'm like yeah I think I'm like not and I explained him DMT and this is Saturday night and I weird thing like in bed that night and I'm kind of explaining the DMT experience to him like where I'm like yeah I was kind of near God and I was yeah I was like, yeah, I was kind of near God. And I was, yeah, I was like, the way I experienced it was like,

I feel like I was a hundred feet away from the central creation force of the universe. Whoa. And. Like you could feel the warmth? Here's the crazy part. It wasn't warm. There was no human interface.

It was just a, Here's the crazy part. It wasn't warm. There was no human interface. It was just a, it like presented as like a wall or something. But it was like, it wasn't benevolent. It wasn't spiteful. It was just like, I created you and Saturn. And by the way, I say I, but it's like i to me it doesn't identify it's not a man woman it's just a force you think it's a thing that it's a real thing that that creates everything and maybe that does make sense if you think about the big bang if you think about all of the incredible things that they've discovered about the cosmos itself that if there's a thing that's actually creating that like a force that's

creating things that's that was what i experienced and and and but so that was saturday night sunday day i wake up and i'm like i'm starting to basically I basically start having a reactivation but like a flashback or whatever so I go get coffee with a woman and I'm basically like split between reality and this other thing oh Jesus and it's like oh this is bad oh no this is bad this is how many days after? Five days. Six days. By the way, like 70% of people have a reactivation when they smoke it, apparently, because I looked it up. I've had it while having dreams.

Yeah. I've had dreams where I thought that I was tripping, and then I did it. Yeah. But not 5-MeO. Only the other one. Only NN. Yeah. I mean, again, so I don't know if I took too big. I only had one hit.

It's so strong. You know, DMT, like it's NN dimethyldryptamine. It's very potent, super potent, but 5-MeO is more potent. It's the most potent. It was, to me, too potent. No visuals. That's what's weird. You just go to white.

It just whites out. And it's almost like you see like a pixelation or you see like living compounds of reality. Like you see things. You're in the middle of it, but you're one of it. It like breaks down. Whatever the fuck it means to be like an atom, it breaks it down. That was the experience I had. I'm like an amoeba.

Yeah. I'm like not. But you're not even an amoeba. And even an I'm. Amoeba is a single cell organism. That's pretty complex. You're not even that. You're like the energy of an amoeba.

Yeah. And also the energy of a tree. You're the energy of the sky. Yeah, I'll accept that. Yeah. I mean, so now I'm on Lafayette. Flying back and forth between. And I'm like, and that Sunday

and Monday, I had the thought, not only is this the worst day of my life, this is the worst day of a life. This is the worst day of anyone's life. Because I couldn't... Are you driving? No. I'm just walking to New York. So I'm like,

and then plus I have this divergent vision. Oh, that's right. At one point I'm like, I don't understand reality, and I'm like, and then plus I have this divergent vision. Oh, that's right. Which is at one point I'm like, I don't understand reality. And I'm seeing two images. I was literally like, this couldn't be fucking more hilarious. No. No way. I don't know.

Not even a little. And because this is too early into that. This is like, this is is six seven months ago now so so uh so now i don't at one point i literally have the thought like i might be in god's imagination i mean i was fucking gone like i wouldn't wish i had the thought i wouldn't wish this on hitler it was so nuts where i was and and i literally i thought I'm probably going to have to kill myself and not suicidally from like I can't take

this. But I also knew it was just going to be more of it. Oh Jesus because especially this is five days after you've had it. So it's gone through your system and something might have broken. That's what you're thinking that? That maybe something something uh if you're experiencing

it again well the a lot of people have reactivations so it's like i've read 70 percent of people that smoke 5meo get 72 percent was the number i read and if you do it on the fucking highway i here's the crazy part i i did a show wednesday no one knows i mean no no one i mean it was a problem for me but the audience didn't know so by wednesday and it already i was so yeah i was so fucking like it wasn't it was like right here is the thing like i was never like completely gone it was just like something was wrong at some point it's gonna pop out this can fucking overwhelm you and even on monday sunday monday it didn't overwhelm me but like it was it was fucking banana it was dude it was like oh this should you come back like human beings shouldn't experience this i literally had the thought like oh i went past i was i said i was

aiming for god and i missed my stop uh so i knew i knew intuitively do not meditate. Really? I just knew in like, and then someone, I read a thing about grounding after you have a psychedelic experience and it was like, yeah, don't meditate. That was like number one or two. And I was like,

yep. Right. Way ahead of you. I knew I was the meditation would take you back. Human beings are here. Meditation's here. I was here. Okay.

So I knew like, if I like, if I untether myself anymore, who fucking knows where I'm going to go. Wow. You might not be able to come back. Yeah. So, but I also was getting better every day. How many days?

Well, the funny thing was that was November 5th and I was getting better every day. And then I went to the dentist December 21st or something and I did the laughing gas Did it bring it back? Oh my god I was like fuck I gotta start over Oh my god

For how long? That was December 21st I would say Here's what's crazy. It was so wild that I like, you know, the screensaver on Apple TV. Yes. Couldn't look at it. Oh my God.

Like mountains and all the fish. I was like, I can't look at this. It was fucking, I didn't, I was literally like, I don't, it wasn't, I've looked it up. It wasn't derealization because I didn't think things were fake. And it wasn't depersonalization. I was myself. I don't know what it was. Well, it's probably your brain recognized that it had this giant burst

of dmt while it was conscious and then it tried to reintroduce it your brain probably remembered the experience and said let's try it again right i mean the only thing that makes sense it's not like you did it again and i don't even know us to you but even the but what was the experience like what was the state i was You probably opened up a chemical gateway. You know, that's the thing that people think when they think of DMT or ayahuasca or 5-MeO or even psilocybin as being real. They think that it might be like a because it's not something that you can quantify like it's 50 calibers or it's you know 15 inches or 10 pounds it's like you can't weigh it or measure it but it's something that happens to everyone that does it so at what point in time

do you say it's real and what is it if everybody has this profound experience that seems like they're in the presence of something infinitely loving and infinitely powerful and strange in its complexity and sees right through you knows everything about you yeah i mean like what is that but it's the the entire uh like what what is any of this? And it opens this thing in your brain. And once it's open, that's what McKenna always said, that that door is always kind of open once it gets open. And that's where I am now.

Like, so I got better every day. I remember I went somewhere in March with a woman and she's like, let's watch the sunset. And I was like, yeah, I can't do this. I can't do this.

I literally quit. it's something about the we're all trying to get to a 35 000 foot view and i went to 35 trillion feet and i was like i don't even need i need to not yeah get lofty reset i need to be like grounded grounded and um yeah just grounded and like human and and but to your point i'm lighter by the way you know how the the the the uh when i did the either bad eye a trip and it was secure. Now it's more secure and higher. Really? I can fucking feel it in my brain.

I can feel it. It's fucking, like the thing you said about the delete, reset thing. Yeah. Million percent. I have a different, my values are different

and I don't mean my values are different. Like I still, everything's the same. It's all the same software. The interesting thing is like, I don't get hijacked by feelings. I don't get like so overwhelmed by anger that I can't think straight. I don't, I just, I'm like, and it's not because I'm more righteous. It's because my brain and body are different. It like, I can't do the shit I was doing before.

And it's all better. That's amazing. It's all better. It's all like, it's not like, I can't, I can still write great jokes. I can still like, all that's the same. Thoughtful associations, recall. The same or better. But I don't, the, my, I call it my, my like, there's the autonomic nervous system of like breathing and heartbeat and all that stuff.

Shit your body does without you thinking about it. My autonomic value system is a little different. And my connection, my ability to connect to people. Like I've fallen in love a couple times. Way easier. And it's, and to your, I've been using the analogy of juice for it, the squeeze. The juice is excellent. But Joe, that squeeze.

Yeah, it's dangerous. It's like, that's one of the things where I'm like, man, what a fucking ordeal. Yeah, I don't know if I want to recommend. And it was four months, probably three or four months of like, not again, you wouldn't know it. No one knew. Right. But I couldn't talk about it for a month and a half or two months.

Like I was literally like, I can't talk about it, but I'm not myself, but I can't explain exactly. My friend said I just seemed preoccupied. Yeah, I went through one after a really heavy DMT trip for a couple weeks where I was worried about accidents. And it wasn't worried about accidents in a rational sense. That happened after my eye. I was worried about it in a sense that I felt like my ego was trying to regain control. And that one of the best ways to do that was to put me in fear so that it

would take care of me like be careful watch what you're doing like what if one of those cars comes over the top of the fucking lane and smashes right into your windshield like i started thinking like that like what the fuck am i thinking like this for yeah and it was all just my brain trying to play tricks on me to get my ego activated because my ego felt like it just got blow torched and you know it was just the reality of the experience was so bizarre so bizarre to the point where when I came back from it I didn't believe in regular reality anymore the fact that I had known something that potent was just three hits away and then I had this I did three I did it three times in the same setting I did it we had we went around

the circle and when I did the third time I was like fuck the third time was I went so far I was seeing all this Egyptian shit that was what was really wild I was seeing like the would would look like pharaoh's heads and all of this like um like the different stripes and gold and blue and it was all these impossible it's impossible and shit that you probably have never seen or thought about never that's what's crazy it's like oh i this is not a brain association thing i've never thought of this you can't see that i don't think you can see that because it doesn't have lines in the sense of it doesn't have a border like it's not like this like i'm looking at this coffee pot i see where

the edge is it has an edge to it those things didn't have they don't have borders they have an edge right but they go right into the other thing and then they change what they are and they're never the same thing Yeah, they're always in a constant state of motion and it seems to have consciousness like whatever it is It it absolutely reflects what you're thinking and then if you can really let it go in parts on you thoughts that you're incapable of and Hits you with these thoughts and you have to address it and the best way to do it is just let go Like if you try to wrestle with it, best way to do it is just let go like

if you try to wrestle with it you're i've seen people wrestle with it it's crazy they start screaming they roll around the floor yeah doug stanhope i almost thought we lost him i got doug high you did i'm kidding i mean i really almost thought we lost him he was going like this yeah foam was coming out of his mouth like no, no bullshit. I was like, fuck, do people die from this? But. No, I mean, that was the. It was crazy. I mean, it's. You wouldn't want to recommend that, though, right?

That's what I mean. It's like, I. It's one of the things, like, I can take it. Right. Fucking barely. Yeah. can take it right fucking barely yeah like an already weird disposition disconnected trauma abuse all this shit and then it's like i can take it i took it but i took it but bare but like 12th round i don't know and and i'm and i'm uh it's one of these things where I'm, I guess I'm happy I did it.

I'm better. That's the thing is I'm better. And it was always this thing of like. Of course you're happy then. Right. Why would you say you guess? Because it was so hard, dude. It was so hard.

Maybe that's what you have to do. Well, that's what, and and it's like I'm willing to I can bear it I can bear pretty much anything but I'm saying like it's rough I'm telling you it was rough and I'm a guy with like a pretty tough jaw when it comes to like

self you know I'm glad you expressed that I'm glad you told that story I'm glad you said it the way you said it because it was very honest, even though easy to ridicule. Yeah, and also it's like also a little embarrassing in a way. Well, you're a comic. You know that if you hadn't done that, you would mercilessly mock someone who talked like that. Yeah, but you know what's funny is whenever I tell people people the story everyone's scared you should be everyone is scared every literally

everyone's like wow yeah like that's a big and it was like yeah I didn't I didn't understand I was on a plane one time that had turbulence and I was like kind of fall asleep and it what and my first thought was what am I like that's in December yeah I'm gonna pee my pants we don't yes and we were already like how many already went over three hours and a half four hours we're at four hours nice four hours dude pretty close to first that was awesome yeah it was great to see you man and I'm really really really happy that all this happened for you. I'm crazy about you, too. And I'm, yeah, I think the world.

I think the world to you, too. Thank you. All right. Bye, everybody.