The Joe Rogan Experience - #184 - DEADMAU5, Russell Peters, Eddie Bravo

Episode Date: February 11, 2012

Joe sits down with DEADMAU5, Russell Peters, and Eddie Bravo.

Deadmau5 is here you dirty bitches. The internet has made something happen. We've pulled together in less than 24 hours. No other interaction with this young man. But the internet demanded it. And now we're here. Stupid cat, you're not a DJ.

I'm watching his Cat DJ video. Thank you. that's the professor that's the actual video That's the Professor Mewingtons. That's the actual video. That's the way the video looks? Is there a way that you can shut this music off where it doesn't do this for 10 minutes? What is this?

That's my fade out. This is terrible. Brian, we gotta stop. It's making me dizzy. For real, it's really obnoxious. Alright, there you go. So was that the actual video? The music video? No, no. That was just some random bullshittery at the house with a cat oh so

that wasn't the video because i thought it was the video and i thought that was fucking genius oh man to me the world when i was looking i thought this motherfucker had the balls he had such confidence in his goddamn music that the music video is going to be a fucking cat hits this electronically and the song's coming on. And the cat's tripping out on this fucking song. That was just, what was actually playing while that cat was doing that? I don't think anything, actually. Nothing, he was just playing with the turntable. Maybe a random radio, I can't really remember.

Wow. To me, I thought that was the video and I thought you were a genius. Well, yes, yes it is. Welcome aboard, man. I just want to say that I think this is one of the first times the internet has ever pulled people together this quickly, like within 24 hours. That's the fucking horde.

That's how the horde was. I just landed from Omaha. Yeah. It's pretty badass, man, how it happened. I mean, I got, I don't know how many fucking retweets, but I get on my computer and I just see RT, dead mouse dead mouse dead mouse like oh what the fuck's going on here and then i click on one of them i'm like oh he wants to do a podcast oh fuck yeah so i i you know do you back and then all of a sudden brian's on it and brian you know sorts

the whole thing actually there was about three months ago i i started watching because uh he's been on he go you go on you stream all the time and just like pretty much like work. You just talk to people and stuff. And I was in the chat room once going, please come on the Joe Rogan podcast. Please come. And the next thing I know, I started asking Twitter followers to help me. So we would just like attack your chat rooms like, please come on. How did that got you in?

Did you get pestered by him? What, like a hostile takeover? No. I mean, what got you intrigued to come here? You't you've never listened to the podcast yeah you're right i've actually never listened to it uh but of course i know your work and i've seen you here and there and uh this and that and shit you know i'm like thinking fuck man you know what because i've actually known that everyone's like oh dude get on the joe rogan thing get on the joe rogan thing and i'm thinking fuck is this guy gonna like tear me a new asshole or what I don't know you know what I mean why would I do that I dude why do other

people do other things there are people man I've heard people on people's shows you know where someone will get hostile and it's it's real uncomfortable and it's fucking shitty and it's like well and I've had that happen to me before it's where I was invited out to this radio show in Australia and they were like, oh, he's kind of a joker. I'm like, dude, whatever. I can fucking counter troll the troll. Right.

Whatever. No big deal. You thought I'd get in there. I thought it would be fun. Funny. You know what I mean? It's like a big piss take on everything. But dude, the guy was like, basically, hey, fuck you.

What? You know what I mean? It's just like, you know, like in all this shit, like, oh, well, your music sucks. So hey, what the fuck is this rumor about you? I'm like, dude, are we getting to a punchline with any of this shit like oh you well your music sucks so and hey what the fuck is this rumor about you i'm like dude are we getting to a punchline with any of this shit and i and i ended up actually just well not getting like oh i didn't rage quit but i just i just went through it and went like why am i doing this thanks thanks for the interview why do people think that's okay to do ratings hey i just because they want they want that one little fucking snippet off you that

they think is going to ruin your career but it's actually going to just throw it overboard. Those guys are dinosaurs. Those morons that are like making conflict up, they're dinosaurs. Yeah, well, enough of those assholes. But I mean, I won't lie to you. You know what I mean? A little bit of that fucking little shit was in the back of my head. So I'm like, nah, but you know what?

I'll tell you what it was. It was I had a chat with Carson Daly the other day and i said hey joe rogan come on what he's like dude do it do it you'll have so much fun i'm like yeah you know what fuck it carson talked you into it yeah beautiful i gotta give him a hug next time i see him i'm in here right yeah he's gonna do it eventually we we had to reschedule it i think to may i think i forget when we reschedule it too but um yeah he's gonna come in and do the podcast and bring his show in here as well we're gonna do his whole show from here he's a good dude, he's going to come in and do the podcast and bring his show in here as well. We're going to do his whole show from there. He's a good dude.

Yeah, he's really cool. But, yeah, I mean, if I didn't know me, I might think I'd be a douchebag too. That's all right. I look exactly like a douchebag should look. What did you know exactly about Joe Rogan? Huh? What did you know exactly about him? This is uncomfortable with me in the room.

Oh, this is going to get fucking awkward. Can I go masturbate in the corner instead of be here for this? Are you a UFC fan? To a degree. I mean, I'm actually friends with Dana and Jamie. Dana White and Jamie. Jamie, fuck, I can never remember that guy's last name. You know him.

I know you know him. Hang on, I got it. Dude, what is that video game character on your neck? Is that a Space Invader? That is a Space Invader. That's fucking awesome. Everyone always asks me, hey, that's from that show. Or that's the, you know, but also it's actually's actually more the tattoos from the street artist, Invader.

And what he did, he went around England and did all these little tile sets all over these buildings. Oh, like you replaced the tile with his own tiles that had a pattern in it? Exit through the gift shop, remember? Oh, Banksy? Yeah, he's in that movie. I never watched that movie. Oh, it's one of the best movies. It's amazing never watched that movie. Oh, it's one of the best movies. It's amazing.

Everybody tells me. Yeah, it's amazing, bro. Yeah, it's one of those movies, like I was saying last night about Restrepo. Everybody tells me I have to see it. I have it. I have it sitting there on the shelf. When I'm at home, I'm like, let's see what South Park did this week. You know, looking at the DVR.

I always go to Silly. I go to Anthony Bourdain or Fights. That's all I really ever want to watch. Movies are really hard to get me to watch a movie. Anyway, I just thought it was a cool thing. It was a cool thing how it all happened. I was excited. I'm glad we could soothe your fears of me being a

cunt. How many tattoos do you actually have? Last time you were in LA, I think you got a tattoo and Miyamoto. You're a youngish man. That's amazing. tattoos do you actually have? Because last time you were in L.A., I think you got a tattoo. You're a young... Miyamoto. You're a youngish man. That's amazing.

How old are you, brother? Less than 30. 31. I just turned 31. 31. I was going to guess less than 30. I was going to guess 28. That'll do.

Yeah, you're all flooded up with tattoos on a young tip. Yeah, I'm kind of poised to be the next illustrative man, I guess. I don't know. What is the heart on the left elbow? Oh, that's Legend of Zelda. Yeah.

So let me ask you this, man. You're a fucking huge electronic creative music guy. You know, I had no idea how big you were, to be honest with you. I had heard of you before. I thought the logo was cool as fuck. Like, I'd seen some imagery and some electronic imagery of your mouse logo and shit. I'm like, wow, there's something compelling about it. It's like an evil, twisted, psychedelic Mickey Mouse type thing.

I don't know, whatever it was. But then I started looking into it, and I read something. You guys were at the fucking Rogers Center? You guys did the Rogers Center? Yeah, that was fucked up. And I'm like, oh, my God, because we did the UFC there, and it was the biggest UFC ever. It was 60,000 people. I'm like, oh, my God, because we did the UFC there, and it was the biggest UFC ever. It was 60,000 people.

I'm like, you're rocking out to 60,000 fucking people. Well, we did 20, because we just had the floor and some of the seats. But to see that place filled with 60 must be fucking insane. I've never seen it with 60. You know, that place is so big. You know the whole deal, how it works. But for people who don't know at home, there's a hotel inside the arena, and the windows

face where they play baseball like it's so fucking big and this is all indoors you know because canada gets cold as fuck in the winter and so it's so big that you can play baseball like guys like jose canseco can hit home runs inside this fucking place and and not and still have room despair and still not hit the hotel. I mean, it's insanity. It's one of the most amazing constructions I've ever been inside of. It's also the most insanely fucking impossible to rig, too, because of the way that that dome is, the retracting dome part, those rigging points.

So if they wanted to get – I didn't see the UFC show there, but if they wanted lights on top of the ring, well, they can't just float out of nowhere. They have to be riggedged all the way the fuck up to the top of that way to the top and oh my god they had to do it with ours because we had a big spider truss going across the whole thing that was only maybe about 30 feet up from the floor but less 200 feet from the ceiling so it's just like this fucked up rigging yeah that's a big thing with traveling artists right like the sets that you guys bring that's like a big thing with traveling artists, right? Like the sets that you guys bring, that's like a big thing, right?

Yeah, yeah. Like U2 apparently has some monstrous, giganto set that takes like a whole Well, those are different. Actually, as part of their fucking deal is they permanently build those structures. Like they literally lay cement and then build fucking buildings.

So when they get to each arena, they do this? Yes. Holy shit. But they've only done arena, they do this? Yes. But they've only done it like... They have different versions of it that they can scale down or scale up. So when they do do it at the Rogers Center, it's like a kind of cheaper version of it, but looks the same kind of thing.

But they had some in Europe that they actually had to permanently build a structure for it, and the structure's still fucking there, and they're trying to sell them. Yeah, it's all part of the thing. But it's fucking crazy. I don't think I'll ever go that way. How did you get to be this guy?

What separated you from the pack? There's so many people making music electronically. You know, it's such a popular genre now. Did you start off as a DJ? No, no, I've never spun a fucking record in my life. As a matter of fact, you actually don't like being called a DJ mixer No, no. I've never spun a fucking record in my life. As a matter of fact, you actually don't like being called a DJ mixer. You don't like that phrase?

How can I say I don't like it? It's so generalized that you kind of have to welcome it. It's like, you know, I'm not a comedian. I'm a fucking laugh technician. Right, right, right, right. What would you call yourself? I don't know. Musician.

Musician, artist, producer, whatever. Eddie is, besides being a jujitsu master, he's a jujitsu master. That's what he does. No shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sounds hilarious, but no, he's like one of the top jujitsu instructors in the world. All right, I'll keep my eye out. He's a famous martial artist. Yeah.

Yeah, for real. I mean, he doesn't look like it. He's a famous martial artist. But besides that, he makes a lot of music. He makes a lot of electronic music and shit like that. So I know. So do you get like, hey, you're fucking, you're that karate guy. I'm a musician first.

I started jujitsu when I was 24. I've been producing music since I was 10. I got into jujitsu just to stay in shape. And the jujitsu blew up. But I'm like, I'm a fucking musician. I'm a music producer. Right, right, right. That's what I do.

And the jujitsu was a total hobby on the side. And that blew up. So now, over the last five years, I'm trying to prove to all the people that know me through jiu-jitsu, they think, oh, he's trying to do music. They never took my music seriously. Dude, I know people like that around the block. Well, there's always going to be haters in every...

Well, it took... I understand it because no one ever in athletics has ever made it in music. So they're looking at me as like some famous athlete who's trying to make it in music. I'm like, dude, I've been a musician the whole time. The jujitsu was brand new and it was part time. So it's like a weird thing. Yeah. What about the Super Bowl shuffle?

Are you ignoring the Super Bowl shuffle? What is that? When you say no famous athletes have ever made it in music? What's the Super Bowl shuffle? You don't remember? It sounds so fucking any music? What's the Super Bowl shuffle? You don't remember? It sounds so fucking awesome. Chicago Bears, the Super Bowl shuffle. Refrigerator Perry.

There's only a couple. Shaq did an album. Yeah, Shaq did great. I thought his album was excellent. Kobe Bryant, I think, did an R&B record. No, he didn't. Shut the fuck up. He did.

Kobe Bryant did not do an R&B record. Yes, he did. Oh, my God. I would love to listen to that just for the fucking pure comedy of it. I could be wrong, but I'm 90% right. Kobe Bryant did not do an R&B record. Yes, he did. Oh, my God. I would love to listen to that just for the fucking pure comedy of it. I could be wrong, but I'm 90% right. See if you can find Kobe Bryant. Please Google that. I need to know this is real.

I need to have the Kobe Bryant R&B record. There's never been a professional, famous athlete who has made it in music. There's never been. It's just the world won't give you both. That's the problem. That's the problem. It's like I've been a musician my whole life, and I'm not an athlete. Right. I'm not an athlete Right I'm not an athlete

The world says Fuck you We don't care We're only gonna give you one How did you become How did you get through What did you do Well you know like

I guess the way It kind of looks Over the last five years Right Is you get Fucking A lot of people thinking This is like

Some culminated Overnight bullshit story That's happened Over the last three But you know In my mind and and i know because i've grown up with it it's uh you know it's a it's a culmination of uh fucking you know just 10 years of just wanting to do something have some predefined bullshit goals and then work towards it you know because i mean i really got interested in computer music when I was about 16, 17. And it was at such a time in the world where computer music wasn't really feasible.

It was like. You know Russell Peters, the comedian? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's Canadian. He loves you. Yeah, we all know. He's on his way down. Oh, is he really? Yeah, he's coming.

Oh, shit. Because he wants to meet you. All right. I met him. He wants to do this. Well, he wants to hang out with you. Oh, okay. Well, fuck yeah.

Can I tell my story of how I actually met Deadmau5 at a show you did? What do you prefer? Do you prefer your actual name? Well, if we start fucking saying dead, there's going to be another death rumor. I've had three in the last four months. Can you hear about Whitney Houston today, man? What? Can you hear about Whitney Houston today?

Yeah. You know what? I just heard about it about like three hours ago. Was it coke related? Who knows? She's, you know, who knows? I have no idea. But she's 48 years old.

You got to wonder, you know, what happened. It's fairly young to just be dying. It's very sad, man. If it is a cocaine thing, if all the rumors are true, obviously, I'm never hanging out with her. I don't know if she's really doing coke or was doing coke joey diaz told us those great stories remember that yeah oh my god i tweeted that today and people got mad at me because i tweeted that story well i it's a great story i'm kind of hoping well she was an amazing artist but you know so were you into depeche mode like tears for fears that was like the closest thing to electronic music

depeche was like has always been that's my soul is Depeche Mode what were you saying about Whitney Houston you were kind of hoping what well I mean I'm just kind of like

morbidly hoping it's not too drug related or drug related for that matter too and I'm saying it's like she's dead it's a shitty fucking thing but it would just be

an extra shame if it was all well the only thing that would help if anything is that some maybe it might influence some people to avoid those particular drugs you know it's there's no there's no happy

ending coke stories there's nobody is like you know it wasn't until i started doing coke that i really got my shit together you know i mean we always talk about weed like you know eddie you you and i in particular are so um we're always so positive about weed. You don't have to use hand signals, man. You want another Corona? Yeah, hey, someone, can I have another Corona? Hey, Brian, can I send you a beer run or send homegirl? I don't want to interrupt the talking people.

Hey, homegirl, come here. Hey, Penhouse Pet of the Year. That's how strong this place is. Penhouse Pet of the Year. You just got awarded. I'll give you that award. Here, give this to the bartender.

Thank you. Just go get a bunch of beers. That's exactly what I was thinking too. I was totally thinking. Right before you said, I'm like, there's no beer. You know what? We can't go to the bar. So it's the rest of the show with no more beer. You know why he was thinking that? Because can't go to the bar. So it's the rest of the show with no more beer. That's going to get boring.

You know why he was thinking that? Because the Indian's out right now. Well, the Indian won't come out in less than three Coronas. I'd have to have like four or five shots. Come on. Dude, the Indian's already out. I got news for you. The Indian's here right now.

He's here right now, bro. He's sharpening his tomahawk with a file. Are we on the air? No, definitely not. Are we taking a break? No, we're on the air, man. Oh, shit. Yeah, we're not going anywhere.

So bring us back to it. So you... Tears for Fears. Yeah, oh, yeah. You know what? My dad... You're making electronic music since you were young.

I kind of owe it to Columbia House. Thank God they're not fucking around too much these days because they'd be the first on dibs. But with the whole Columbia House deal, as you know, my dad got this new Luxman CD player,

cutting-edge fucking technology at the time. And he bought into that, you know, get X CDs for a penny shit thing. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah, I remember that. Dude, I did that a lot. I did with it.

Yeah. I did that shit a lot. How did they ever make any money exactly right well they must have made at least fucking a hundred cents something must have happened i totally forgot about that yeah i forgot about that shit would have never came up dude i did it i did it twice with cassettes yeah 11 cds for a penny yeah i don't think i ever got to the cds i think something ridiculous like that and they send them to you and you ignore them. And if you don't send them back, you owe them money or something like that.

That actually was part of it. That's how they afford it. Shit was completely ridiculous. You just put your fake names. You just put any name. Your address, any name. That's not me. Do you remember that?

What a preposterous marketing strategy. We're going to get you 100 fucking CDs for 99 cents. How do you split that with the bands fuck holy shit they're already did nothing yeah what was it just like extra stock i mean what was that there's what is the more foreigner albums were distributed that way than anything foreigner and journey those fucking journey cassettes just flew out the door. That was the first thing that people picked on the list. Dude, I was working at a record store right when CDs were coming in and cassettes were going down. We still had records, but cassettes were the bomb.

Cassettes were everything. Did you get Heineken's? Or did you just get all this gay Mexican beer? I'll have a Corona. It's cool. Damn, that's a lot of Coronas. Coronas are cool. Thank you, sir.

There we go. Holy shit. So anyway, so you started creating music. And how did you get? I mean, obviously, there's been some sort of a massive leap somewhere along the line that you've gotten to be this guy who could fucking sell the Rogers Center. I mean, that's incredible, man. It took a while.

It took like four years. That's insane. Four years. I know. Think of that. That's fucking crazy. How did that happen, man? How did that happen?

What was your success? Don't ever fucking say that's a while, man. That's crazy. You know how many people are screaming at their computer right now? A while? To go from four years of creating music to all of a sudden be selling out the Rogers Center. That's amazing. Yeah Yeah that is really cool.

That's staggering dude. I guess I'm super lucky to be in this climate of the development of What I'm trying to get at is how do you think you hit this resonance? I mean what you're doing is really like funky electronic shit but you obviously have hit a resonance

that people are really drawn to it's not simply you know you've been in the business you got lucky you stumbled in no did they there's people that love the sounds you're creating yeah okay i mean there's definitely a music element in that of course yeah you know i no doubt eight you know my parents put me in like piano boot camp after school so between the time hours of like three and when they got off of work, I was classically trained the whole time. Wow. OK. So that's like.

But but I forgot all that shit when I was 16 because computers kind of came out and I'm like, you know, fuck a piano. Right. Yeah. But but but fuck me. Did that ever come in handy later? I'm sure. You know, because you just work out melodies, counter melodies, all that stuff requires a certain amount of intelligence.

It's not just that fucking notes. That mouse head. That mouse head's a good move too, dude. I'll tell you what, listening to you because of the mouse head makes me feel cooler. When I was watching some YouTube clips and you were on stage and you had the mouse head on and you were rocking out and the crowd was rocking out and I was like,

there's something dope about that. There's something, I like the fact that this fucking guy is wearing a crazy giant mouse head. He was actually a big influence on my idea for the logo because I've always recognized him as his mouse head.

And so then I was like, dude, you are a master almost of marketing because you know the idea of the mouse head. I did do a lot of that. How does Disney not sue the dick off you? Well no me and Disney are cool now. You're cool now? Yeah actually it was really funny we had to play a show in Anaheim once at this

at the thing and they were like dude you know Disney called and they want you to come play it. Dude I'm thinking I'm going to be led into this like fucking dark room and Mickey and Goofy are you to come play it dude. I'm thinking I'm gonna be led into this like fucking dark We are staying Mickey and goofy are gonna come out So no Disney has never had an issue with it at all no we're totally cool because it is a different shape It is a different shape, but it is a mouse thing and I'm not they're not really well I guess they are in of them that are in the music business and stuff like that.

But it's so distinguishable between the two identities that they're just like, yeah, that's cool. Yeah. It's the big smile too. But I'm wondering at the same time too, because when I did file for design patents on my logo and stuff like that, it's like one of the first things I had to do was go to different countries and apply for logo copyrights and stuff like that it's like one of the first things i had to do was go to different countries and apply for you know logo copyrights and stuff like that right now disney must have a crack fucking team of experts of you know people doing this shit because i'll tell you

i used to work for a software company in belgium that used to have a uh a studio software and it was called fruity loops yeah one of my favorites kellogg's put a fucking cease and desist Are you serious? On the name And dude, we're talking serial and music application Nothing to do with each other But for whatever reason, you know, they gave in to the machine And said, we're gonna have to rename this Yeah, but even if it's still, you know

But everyone still calls it But if they own the name, they don't want you using it for anything i can understand well true like mouse danger mouse dead mouse fucking mighty mouse right but you can't own an animal you get you don't get to i'm lying i'm the only lion you know you don't get to own that you that's silly there's true but it's an actual the similarities of the you know the circle and this thing right i thought that was a little close. So I kind of thought that maybe someone was asleep at the wheel when that had gone through. Because basically, one day it was a call from my lawyer saying, dude, you got the patent. You're good.

So you're virtually untouchable right now. You know what? I think Disney, they're so baller. They don't give a fuck. Disney, they're just the executives are sitting around in gold underwear laying on stacks of cash. I say that too. Let that bitch have his fucking logo. Whatever.

Who gives a shit? It must mean bank has so much money. Certain departments of Disney are suing other departments of Disney. For real? Well, I'm sure. Do you know this for a fact? No, I don't. But I have heard.

We should be really careful about saying that. Right? But I'm sure it happens. You know what I mean? It probably doesn't happen. I'm going to go out on a limb i mean probably doesn't happen i'm gonna go out on a limb and say it doesn't happen disney was actually where i got my very first development deal i did a sitcom for disney in 1994 they were very nice you know and i was a dirty comedian man

i was a fucking terrible dirty comedian and they gave me a development deal they were pretty cool they're a lot more open-minded than you would think you know they're essentially just an entertainment company but the name disney like you automatically associate everything with like super family values type shit yeah right everyone i was up to jonas brothers and yeah all that that's just smart business you know like there's there's a lot of money in that babysitting money it's a fucking lot of money man you know it's out there like bill hicks used to talk about with the you know um remember when um tiffany and Tiffany and Debbie Gibson were all the shit? That's when Bill Hicks was alive.

And he used to have all these jokes about Tiffany and Debbie Gibson and how ridiculous it was. But the bottom line is somebody likes that, man. Somebody likes that. There's babysitting money out there. When you met Miyamoto, one, where did you meet him? I think I was the only guy that was able to spot him out as he walked by. Is that the game designer?

Yeah, the creator of Super Mario Brothers, all that stuff. Where were you? Oh, hey. Baseline. Where were you at when that happened? I was actually in my trailer. He was not to be announced. Is his last name Miyamoto?

Miyamoto. His last name Miyamoto? Miyamoto His last name Yeah, Shigeru Or Shigi In Japanese If you were If your name was like Miyamoto Musashi

If that was your name You would say Musashi Miyamoto, right? You would say I believe so What's going on there, Brian? Being assaulted? Your mic is totally dead Oh, there you go

So he has another name Is that Musashi's his last name or miyamoto's his last name shigeru is his first name miyamoto because you even in your live shows you incorporate like like like your your logo inside like video games and stuff like on your led wall right i've seen that before yeah yeah yeah uh did did he know who you were did i don't know but but he's very Japanese. He had a translator with him and all that. So it was actually kind of funny when I talked to him.

Obviously, I told him I was a big fan. He's like, oh, okay. And then, you know, I've got this ghost boo tattoo. Did he sign your arm? Yeah, he did. Oh, that's badass. So he signed my arm. And then you tattooed over it?

Immediately called up Pee Wee on Sunset. And I'm like, bro, you got to tattoo this. I've seen a few people have other people's names tattooed over it? Immediately called up Pee Wee on Sunset, and I'm like, bro, you got to tattoo this. I've seen a few people have other people's names tattooed on their arms. Mark Maron recently did that. Some guy had Mark sign his arm that he had tattooed on. That's got to be a trip. Well, I've done that for a lot of fans, too. It's so crazy.

It only seems right, you know what I mean? Because you're thinking for a while, like, man, this kid's crazy. And you're like, he's like, sign my arm, sign my arm. I'm going to get this tattooed. And I sign his arm his arm and lo and behold i see him at a future gig he's like dude remember you saw my i'm fucking got a tattoo i'm like dude i have a nuts that happens with kiss a lot i have a t-shirt tattoos and shit i have a t-shirt company it's called higher primate it's one of them that i'm wearing it's all mostly just monkeys and weed and monkeys and psychedelics, monkeys and DMT, monkeys and mushrooms. But a lot of people have taken the images and turned them into tattoos.

And it's crazy. I've collected a bunch of images, but it's really a trip to me. These teachers that I'm selling, like one dude has the whole back of his neck is this psychedelic monkey, a monkey in a lotus position, his third eye is glowing. And it's like it's pretty fucking badass. He's on the dmt molecule in a in a inside of a lotus flower this guy's got it tattooed on his neck i'm like wow this is kind of crazy and that thing that the brian's logo the um the death squad logo but it's actually changed the new one is different so unfortunately for all those people that got that one he was telling me about this on the way in. He changed it.

I don't like you changed it. The new one sucks. I'm going to be honest with you. This one's the shit. Whatever. You don't like the Hitler one. I don't like the mustache. I mean the chaplain. It's all I like.

I don't like his chaplain, but I do like the fact that he's strapped together with dynamite. The new guy, it's like he's a bunny from another planet. Yeah, he's a robot. Don't make fun of bunnies, please. I love bunnies. Love bunnies delicious you must have You were saying that like like millions of people have your tattoo and then that has been even thought about It definitely in the hundreds of thousands. I think that's amazing. Yeah hundreds tattoos I've actually even thought about getting your local online. I have the first one.

Why don't you get it? This is the first one. Wow, that's the first one. I don't know if you can see that. Oh, wow. And what is on the right-hand side of the mouse? Actually, I'll tell you a funny story. It's a UPC barcode because I was working with a software company at the time,

and they did barcode measurement system kind of thing. And I thought, wow, I wonder if you could actually scan a barcode if it was like tattooed on you and then it didn't work oh well myth fucking busted yeah there you go did you did you started off doing web design right yeah like i i also did and i hated it did you did you enjoy it well i enjoyed it when it was cool and fun right and i had a really client and he's like yeah that's rad but rad. But I hated it when, hey, it's a little too blue. Yeah. Maybe we can add some green. It's like, dude, well, I'm the fucking designer.

Right. So how about I design the fucking thing? Well, if you got all the ideas in your head and you know how to do it, then what the fuck do you need me for? So if you had a client and the client came to you and said, hey, we have our dairy farm. We're trying to build a website. You're like, all right, I'm going to do it my way, bitch. Well, my way in what I would think is going to kind of cool.

You work with a customer to agree, but some of the customers are just like, some of the clients are just like, dude, you're doing this wrong. And I think that the balance of the way that this looks is going to be. Yeah, I understand what you're saying. All right, and i think that you know the balance of the way that this low yeah i understand what you're saying all right then why don't you do it yeah you have to have a certain amount of artistic license of course you only think that you don't actually go to that but no that's also one of the reasons why you're probably so great at your music is that you know you have a very specific vision and you're you're really uh uh enchanted by that vision you want to follow it well that's a fun thing about being a producer of electronic music because i mean electronic music's had this

stigma for like you know a good decade and a half of you know basically people taking other people's music and and then you know working in all these justifications as to why it's an art form okay yes turntablism in itself definitely a fucking art form you know it's like look at the fucking kuberts yeah you know and all that shit just going fucking crazy with that that's fine but i always say can you do it can i can i do it i can't do it well it's got to be an art form no it's gotta be it's you can't tell me that there's not as i think carpentry is an art form absolutely is everything is yeah you know sure everything with focus and intent and you use your creativity but you know since you know the the term dj term DJ was coined,

and then people started getting kind of lazy with it, with electronic music, to where you could just play the hit big track and then just fade out that last 30 seconds and then fade in the first 30 seconds of the other one. Now, to me, that's not very artful. And it's not you. And you're not adding any unique element into it.

So to have the kind of control where you're making the music that allows you to do that. And in different ways, you know what I mean? That's what makes it special and unique to that one guy as opposed to unique to that one group of fucking guys, you know? And yeah,

and it was getting really stagnant and there was DJ this, DJ that, DJ that when it was all down to the playlist at the end of the day. And none of those guys had any of their own shit in there that made it unique to them it's just you think that that's just a part of the natural evolution of music and that sort of had to happen before everybody went hey you know what man you guys are just copying other people's shit how about you take it like caveman styles right you got a guy with a fucking log and he's going on the fucking log and everyone's like yeah right and then this other dude was like yeah we'll fucking check this out he takes the fucking log does the exact same thing you know what i mean

it's just not like and then he's like debunking the other fucking dude right it's escalating it so the the like the people would criticize you all you're doing is playing other people's shit and then people go okay well i'm gonna make my own shit is that what happened i think that's what happened yeah and it had to happen because you know it was uh you know to legitimize the music well to both that and and and and make things unique yeah for that were like you know associated with that one person as opposed to something that was this group of people that you weren't quite sure who was doing what and which dj was better than the other one i love the fact that you can just make all these noises just on your computer now i mean i know you might not be able to do what you do, but Brian's made some crazy shit just with GarageBand. Yeah, absolutely.

GarageBand. Justice's whole last album was done completely in GarageBand. That's crazy. And they're huge. What is it? Justice. Justice? Yeah.

I've never heard of them. Justice, really? I'm an old man. Oh, okay, you're old. I listen to Greg Allman. Well, they're a little dirtier, a little grungier sounding than my stuff. I listen to Leonard Skinner. Their shit is awesome.

It's so lo-fi, low-tech. No million dollar studio bullshit. Do you like bands like the Black Keys? I love them. Actually, I worked with them. You're fucking cat's meowing. Is it? Freak.

Sorry. You work with them? Where'd you work with them? We did the VG meowing. Is it? Freak. Sorry. You work with them? Where'd you work with them? Oh, we did the VGAs. Or, sorry, the VMAs. Oh, really? Wow. What the fuck did we do? What was it? Oh, my God. Really? Are you sleeping? My manager's fucking asleep. Earning this 20%. Whoa, hold on.

20% for real? Talk to me, buddy. Listen, that's bullshit. You negotiate, Dean. There's my one. I haven't even heard of it. For real? Talk to me about that. That's bullshit. Negotiate, Dino. Yeah, we're supposed to pay 20. There's my one. I haven't even heard of the best getting more than 15. It's okay. He earns it.

He's tired because he was working so fucking hard today at the Grammys. My goodness. Are you nominated for anything? Yeah. Three. Three of them. Wow. Don't ask me what they are, please. No.

It's kind of cool. Best Dance, I believe. You've got to know. Come on. I got a VH1 Best Dance Award. So anyway, you're making me lose shit. Sorry. The Black Keys.

Yeah, Black Keys. Dude, it was amazing. We did, oh, the VMAs. Yes, the Video Music Awards. Is that MTV? Yes. Yeah. And I was kind of charged with the task of being the house music guy throughout the whole night.

And the commercial break, here's this guy, and I said, okay, here's a commercial. VMS, you did the Virgin Mobile Fest. VMA. Oh. Virgin Music Awards. Fuck. Video Music Awards.

It should be the MVAs, Music Video Awards. It was for all the videos. It should be the MVAs music video awards, right? Somebody, somebody, video music. So I had to work with all these other artists like Robin and, um, Jason Derulo, the black keys,

uh, and someone else. But, um, and anyway, the point was, is I had to kind of take their stuff and electronic eyes it and remix it in a way that,

you know, they could either perform with and play with and all that stuff. And I did that song, that really good song by the Black Keys. Oh, fuck. A new one? An older one? No, it's an older one. It was their big hit.

Ah, geez. Joe loves the Black Keys. I love the Black Keys. Oh, you love them, but you can't love them. I love them. I try to think of what song you could be thinking of. Tighten Up? You have so many songs.

Tighten Up. Thank you. Is it Tighten Up? Yes, it was definitely Tighten Up. And it was really cool. So I did this kind of cool version of it and then played that out during the commercial break. And they were into it.

They were like, dude, yeah, we should probably make this an unofficial remix or something like that. And I'm just like, oh, man, that'd be awesome. But I got to work on so much shit that it just, we never got around to it. Oh, that's too bad Yeah, did I you know it's people's taste in music is so bizarre I put on well I asked Brian to put on little black submarines last night while we were doing our ice house chronicle show and I'm like this

Is one of my favorite songs when I love this fucking song and I expected a lot of people and most people on Twitter Ironically were we're in agreement like wow what a great fucking song but on my message board my message board is filled with so many cunts

it's a cunt it's a cunt room you just close it down and kill them all it's a cunt farm can we say cunt on the show you can say anything you want you can say cunt

it's a cunt farm these guys were shitting on this song it's nothing it makes me think of Stairway to Heaven shut your fucking dumb hole. Cunt hole.

Shut your cunt hole. You dumb, negative, twat-faced fuckhead. It's a great goddamn song. For you to just get all negative like that, I guarantee your life is a bag of shit. It's okay to be subjective about music. It's okay to be subjective, but it's not okay to be like, you know what, fuck all this. This is nothing. That song's brilliant, man.

It's brilliant and i'm just kidding obviously you're allowed to hate it obviously i'm only fucking around people like yeah man will you fucking dictate what i like i'm a lot of this passion is just for entertainment okay i don't really want you to people get so serious like we were talking about margaret thatcher the other day and i'm like women shouldn't be allowed to run anything half of that i'm joking around for fun. But I got so many women that got mad at me. Like, really?

I'm like, do you not know any men? Do you not know what happens when five guys get together and drink and smoke pot? They start talking shit. And when one guy starts talking about how awesome Margaret Thatcher is, every other dude in the room is like, if Margaret Thatcher can suck my dick, that's all you start thinking.

That's how guys react. They're like, what? The only reason why she was running shit is because all those English guys, none of them could fuck her. We're making things up. We don't really believe anything we're saying. We're just trying to be funny. I'm sure Margaret Thatcher was awesome.

By the way, Meryl Streep, wonderful actress. I was only joking around when I said she sucked. She can't carry gold. Is this all like damage control? Yeah, it's damage control. Damage control from the last show. No, it's arguing with people.

No, this is my point. I have a point to all this. It's arguing with people on the internet. It's like people's taste of the internet because when we started putting that you're going to be on,

99% of the people were super psyched. What was the 1%? There's 1% cunt faces. Shithead, loser, negative little tw shithead loser negative you gotta give it up to that one fucking guy because he's the guy that's first in line that starts the ball of negativity so here's the thing is you read you got to give it up there's a science well yeah and no okay but there's a there's a science behind all of this fucking trolling there really is so you go look at a YouTube video and if a top rated or most recent comment

is something negative, people tend to agree with that whether they believe it or not. Yes. You know what I mean? So it's like, yeah, fuck this. Yeah, you know what?

You're right. Fuck this. Yeah, those other two dudes are right. Fuck him. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

No, I enjoy that. I enjoy the one completely out to left field, super negative, you know, in a world full of happiness. As long as it's well-crafted, as long as it's handmade. Very rarely.

If it's just some, yeah, well, fuck it. Yeah, very rarely. One of my favorite guys is Daft Punk and their film Interstellar I must watch at least once a month. Do you ever have any plans to maybe release a full-length movie using your music and maybe animation using

your logo or something like that's that's a project among projects right you did that then maybe disney might want to read seriously have disney do it if you were making your own animation with the mouse i think that was actually up there in that whole like uh pot of names to do the tron thing oh really yeah i thought i was the music soundtrack what to do the Tron thing. Oh, really? Yeah, I thought I was. To do the music soundtrack? What? To do the soundtrack? Right. But honestly, if it was me and I knew they were in there, I'd have to give it to them. I enjoyed that music, man. A little bit of it was geek nostalgia.

I enjoyed the first movie and I was looking forward to it, but it was also just for the sheer cinematic visuals of it all, the world they created, I give it to you. It doesn't have to be a perfect story. You're doing a lot.

You're getting a lot of shit done here. You're creating this crazy artificial world where people ride motorcycles and chop each other in half. Right. I'll let you slide. Tron mouse. Yeah, you got a Tron little mouse. I love it. It was kind of interesting how they're not quite ready to do human faces.

What is his name? William Hurt? William Hurt. William Hurt's character. It was pretty close, but it was a little creepy. I haven't watched it. Marginally better. I haven't seen it.

I don't want to ruin the. Do you have a 3D TV? Marginally better than I Am Legend when the lion comes out. Remember when the lion comes out in I Am Legend? What happened? It looks terrible. It ruined the whole movie for me. This lion looks so stupid.

It was fake. It looks like a lion from Dora the Explorer. It was like, Dora the Explorer lion comes out of the bushes. It was ridiculous. It was terrible CGI. They can't do animals that are real yet. They can do dinosaurs. They can do aliens. They can do all sorts of shit that doesn't exist.

It's true. They can do aliens. They can do all sorts of shit that doesn't exist. It's true. They're good with old men. They're not bad. They're not bad because there's a lot of wrinkles. Old men, they got that. It's easy. It's easy. But it's not.

They look real. Hot chicks? They're pretty close. Man, it's all cartoon. They can't get that. They're pretty close. I agree with you. That's the hardest one.

Every year, they're discussing the hot chick. You could deal with a real rough texture with the old men. What they can't do, though, they can't do animals yet. They can't do a dog. Is it like the fur? Yeah, it's the fur. It's the face. It looks fake.

Definitely the hair. That's not my department. The fur, it's a real issue. It doesn't look good. I'm about to actually embark on a serious CG journey that I can't really give too much information about. We're actually been bidding around with companies right now. And dude, we're looking at like 500 grand a minute. Are you serious?

What? It's going to make 500 grand a minute? No, no. It's going to cost 500 grand a minute? It's going to cost to do. 500 grand? Hollywood. Holy shit. No, but we're talking like final rendered, all composed and everything.

That's insane. It is so expensive. For a 90-minute movie, what is that, $45 million? Well, no. I mean, if you want to inject it into a scene. You need to take that to Cambodia. You just need to call Foxconn. Actually, if it's entirely CG, like Final Fantasy, that's significantly cheaper.

But if you're doing camera tracking with real world stuff and doing it right, then that's when it gets expensive. $500,000 a minute. A fucking minute. So for real, it really is $45 million for a 90-minute movie. Not if it's all CG. And it's not. Shit like Transformers is not going to cost $500. But a movie like Final Fantasy.

No, because it's all CG. It incorporates no real world shit. So that's an issue when you incorporate real world. Right. Yes, because you have to do camera tracking and all this crazy shit. That makes sense. Yeah. Damn, you're very knowledgeable with all this CGI shit.

Well, I had a fucking two-hour-long meeting about it today. Half a million dollar a day fucking jamming. Damn, they made sure he knew. Do you know how much this shit costs?

Well, they sometimes do it with music videos, but what they do is they'll take that minute and they'll split it over the whole video of like if it's seven-minute long video.

It's not going to be six minutes of this and then, oh, last minute's all CG. They cut it and they, it's not going to be six minutes of this. And then, Oh, last minute, it's all CG. They cut it and they edit it and all that. That's so hard to wrap your head around. That's when you just need to date a CGI artist.

That's all you should do. There you go. I mean, why don't you just, just, you know, that's how Brian, Brian solution for everything.

I know about fucking 30. Very single, very nerdy, fucking talented motherfuckers who can whip that shit up. You know about fucking 30. Very single, very nerdy, fucking talented motherfuckers who can whip that shit up like that. You date every one week? You date a shadower one week? You date a fucking motion tracker one week? Your life's going to be a graveyard as his. Can I tell my dead mouse blow it up

story? I want to blow it up. Sure. This is my story. I don't know. Maybe a year and a half ago. Cool, cool story, bro. Oh, no. You just got shut down, son. Come on. This is based on the merit of your previous stories.

He doesn't even know you. No, no, seriously. I'm going to blow your music up right now. Seriously. Oh, that's not what he needs at this point in his career. No, but I'm going to tell my story. I got a dead mouth story. Are you going to redeem yourself from the previous story?

Is that what's going on? I have a dead mouth story. Yes. Does this one have an ending? I do. You know what? You know what? Listen. He's here. We're doing a podcast. Oh, going on? I have a dead mouth story, yes. Does this one have an ending? I do. You know what? You know what? Listen.

He's here. We're doing a podcast. Oh, shit. And I have a dead mouth story. Like, might as well tell the story. Okay. So, about a year and a half ago, he does a big thing at the Staples Center

with a bunch of other DJs. It's like a big gaming convention thing. The E3. E3. Big thing. Staples Center. Huge. Danny Lohner.

Dude is producing my stuff. X9 and Snails. He has tickets. He calls me up. You want to go? I go, cool. We go last minute. The show is huge.

It's massive. It's amazing. I really didn't get to hear too much music. I really wasn't paying attention. At this point, I didn't know any Deadmau5 stuff. I didn't know. And we went backstage, took some pictures. I didn't know. And we went backstage, you know, took some pictures. I met him briefly.

I remember the tattoo now when I see him. So six months goes by. I'm getting tattoo, getting ink done. And dude who's tattooing me has got Pandora dubstep going on. And I'm sitting there

for like five hours listening. And I don't like anything, man. It's very hard for me to be excited about music man you gotta be good the whole day goes by and one song crushes me bass nectar time stretch i heard that i was getting i'm like time stretch by bass nectar is amazing it blew me away so we had to stop tattooing how to write that shit down. I'm like, rarely do I get blown away like that. Most of that shit was just like good production, but I'm like, where's the song?

I'm looking for the song. I need to hear that. Throw that shit on, Brian. Oh, dude, it's amazing. What's it called again? Bass Nectar? Bass Nectar, Time Stretch. One of the most amazing songs ever written.

I bet it's on there. It's in the Deadmau5 era. But let me finish my story real quick. I like how this is a Deadmau5 era. But let me finish my story real quick. I like how this is a Deadmau5 story. No, no. Hold on a second. That's not your shit. No, no, no.

It's not your shit. Super talented fucking dude nonetheless. Okay. So the whole day, there's one song, bass nectar, time stretch. Right, right, right. So then I get in my car, my arms all wrapped up, and I go, I got one awesome song by just listening to a Pandora dubstep station. So right there on my way home.

It was going to take about an hour and a half to get home with traffic. I put on dubstep. I wanted to find another song. So I kept listening. Song after song after song. An hour into it. And then boom. Ghost and stuff comes on.

I'm like, holy shit. That's his stuff. That's dead man. Okay, find that one. Ghost and stuff. Ghost and stuff. Find that. I heard that. Because we. I'm like, holy shit. That's his stuff. That's dead man. Okay, find that one. Ghosts and stuff. Ghosts and stuff. Find that. I heard that.

Because we couldn't call it ghosts and shit. I heard that shit. No, seriously. This is a real story. Bam. Bought it on iTunes right away. There's no way this is a real story. This is like a make-believe story.

Like you're in a castle. Yeah. Yes, exactly. I don't know what that means. But that's the way it went down. I didn't like anything. The whole day. Crank this shit up The whole day of listening to Dubstep

Bass Nectar Time Stretch And your ghost and stuff That fucking floored me I bought it on iTunes I don't buy shit unless it's fucking Let me hear some volume Brian That's some real shit right there He's looking at me

Like do you want to do it? You want to push the fader up? He's scared It'd be like cooking in front of Anthony Bourdain. I'm not sure what mix this is. I don't know if this is the same. Is that loud? It's the original, this one.

Is that loud in your ears? Yeah. You can tell instantly that it's the original? Yeah, this is the original. Oh, this is cool. No, I don't get tired of this fucking one. What do you... What do you...

Do you get tired of your own music? Play Freebird! Listen, man. For me, this is all unique. I apologize, but I'm enjoying it. How are you creating this? Are you using musical programs? This one is actually...

This is the only one track I didn't do in a studio. I did it in a hotel room in England. Whoa! Yeah, it room in England. Whoa. Yeah, it was really funny. Whoa. By yourself? And the name came up. Yeah, yeah.

Just chilling? Just chilling out. And I got some computers and stuff. And there's that bass line again. Fuck you. That's UFOs, man. That's the government. Government's listening.

We're dangerous. So I'm fucking, I'm messing about. And I'm talking to, he's a big DJ over in England, Pete Tong. He does the bbc radio one show and all that stuff and uh we we had some discussion about the hotel that i was staying in he's like yeah bro it's haunted uh you know and doors are opening and shutting in my room and shit and i got so you know and i'm just kind of like i i name songs that like spur the moment kind of bullshit thing i don't i don't really put any thought into the name so i just called it ghost and shit so i sent it off yeah and then we sent it off to emi

and they're like oh we can't call it ghost and shit ghost and stuff fucking what a silly all right whatever ghost and stuff is kind of cool you know because you know what no because if even if you did that you would have to put that goddamn sticker on the front of the cd that explicit lyrics even though it's not a lyric. Right. It's in the song title. Right. And then that actually detriments you from fucking millions of Walmart.

You can't get into Walmart, right? Yeah. Yeah. iTunes. I was trying to find Nas' Life We Chose. There's so much cussing in it. Oh, my God. He says the N-word, like, throughout the chorus.

Right. It's huge. But on iTunes, I keep downloading the clean one there's just they just pull out the lyrics my fuck really sucks without all that yeah there's nothing more disturbing when you're in a club and you're looking to have a good time and you realize a song that you're hearing is a censored version of it oh I remember you of those that the track didn't work yeah Yeah, that one. Forget You. Forget You. What?

I don't want to hear that Forget You ever. It's only good with the Fuck You. I realized that. I thought it was a great song all the way through. But then when they changed it, I'm like, oh, it's... Dude, they... What is that Fuck You? It really was. I feel like...

I don't know if this is real because I might have blocked it out. They called people Suck in a Ditch instead of son of a bitch on movies. Yeah, like good fellas or something like that. Were they overdubbed? Who was the girl that Brad Pitt used to be married to? She's an actress. No, the other one. Angelina Jolie?

The first one. Damn. Veronica. No, the first one, man. Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwyneth Paltrow. Thank you. Boom.

Knuckles. What? Gwyneth Paltrow is in that show Glee, right? And she was singing Forget You She was singing it I'm pretty sure I heard it

I might have just Fury of suck I might have just Blacked out It was just too much Irony for me I couldn't handle it I did

I wanted it to be A part of my imagination So I couldn't even Talk about it on stage Forget you Forget the song I think she was singing it I'm pretty sure She was singing it it was it was death it was death but it made me so sad that that that first song was so dope we played that song on the podcast never has a song gone

from being so fucking badass to just some shit that's like music on an elevator that you don't even want to hear man i hate that song that fuck you song was the shit when it first came out a fucking ugly fat guy singing fuck you fuck you and you're like yeah you wanted him to say it yeah say it dude i wonder if he has to pull back on like certain shows and do the the forget you of course he does. Really? Probably all he does now. They probably made a deal with him. You know, they probably brought

new white women on a regular basis. It's going to be the next Rage Against the Machine on the Christmas special at fucking BBC where they're going to go, okay, well, you can't say fuck you.

I won't do what you tell me. Forget you. I won't do what you tell me. Forget you. I won't do what you tell me. Forget you. I won't do what you tell me. Did they really say that? No way. Could you imagine? They't do what you tell me Forget you, I won't do what you tell me Did they really say that?

No way Did you imagine it? Did you imagine it? No Did you just think of this right now? Because that was awesome That is awesome Forget you, I won't do what you tell me

Well, you remember when the Beatles got on the Ed Sullivan Excuse me, the Doors got on the Ed Sullivan show Couldn't get much higher Yeah, it was a big issue That was risque Baby, you couldn't get much higher yeah that was a big issue baby you couldn't get much higher yeah that uh was a big deal they wanted him to change those lyrics out yeah girl you couldn't get much forget you yeah and he did it he like you remember in the movie he got like real close

to the camera when he said it and they fucking violated them. Yeah. Yesterday I was singing, yesterday I was singing, on camera, I was singing the second verse to She Swallowed It, old N.W.A. Right. She forgot. And I was on video.

She swallowed. Juicing at the lip. Dude, you could be a stand-up. Sorry. You could easily be a stand-up. Would you ever try stand-up? If you wanted to, you could be a stand-up. Sorry. You could easily be a stand-up. Would you ever try stand-up? If you wanted to, you could be a stand-up. Forget you.

Damn. Non-stop tagging. So I was singing along to the second verse. There was a lot, you know, there was some people around and I was just singing. Why were you doing that? And there was a lot of N-word in there. And you were singing it? Were there black people in the car with you?

No, but it did feel wrong. It felt uncomfortable. did and i why were you singing that song that's not a good song i love that song do you really she swallowed it dude that's one of the greatest songs ever yeah seriously it's okay it's one of the greatest it was like it was pretty cool when i was 15 yeah exactly when i wanted to hear people talk about sex. Come on. Yeah, man. I remember listening to it. The first time I ever listened to that song, I was on a treadmill in Revere, Massachusetts. I was at the gym.

That's funny that you remember exactly what you were doing and where you were. I do. Absolutely remember exactly. It's an amazing song. Because I had just recently got what was a dope ass Walkman cassette player at the time. It was the shit. It was bright yellow, okay? And I was doing my cardio on this fucking treadmill.

And I'm on this treadmill, and I remember listening to NWA while I'm jogging. I'm like, these fucking guys are saying some really crazy shit. You know? Like, all this stuff about being violent against white people. I'm like, am I supposed to be entertained by this? I was so confused. It was all an act, dude. It was all an act. But I was like, am I supposed to be entertained by this? I was so confused. It was all an act, dude. It was all an act.

But I was like, what is this? They're criminals? That's a good thing all of a sudden? I remember like, what the fuck is going on? I can't be this guy

because I'm only 20. I can't be this guy that's going, what the fuck is going on with this country? What's going on with this country? Not yet.

I was too young, but yet those were the thoughts that were happening in my mind as I was listening to this CD. I get that when I listen to LMFAO. You don't like that sexy song? I'll tell you what. I didn't like that sexy song until I saw the video. And then I thought, that's a fun video.

Do you remember me saying I was in Vegas and I heard this stupid loop of... Then I heard it in like seven songs. He had a bit about that. Yeah, he had a bit about how much I hated that. And then I found out it was Elm FAO had that in like one of their main songs. Well, that was Afrojack that started that whole thing. Yeah, exactly.

It was not them, right? Originally, right? Oh, yeah. Right. Okay. Fair enough. Yeah. Does that happen in music?

That happens in, especially in, you see, electronic music goes through these phases, okay? The first notable phase was the Benny Benassi bass line, okay? Oh, Benny. This big farty saw wave, right? What does that mean? What does that mean? Who's Benny Benassi? Benny Benassi's a lovely guy from Italy.

Great name. What a fucking awesome name. He's a DJ producer. He did the track, you know, Satisfaction. Have you ever heard that dancey track track i can't get my satisfaction is it like a rolling stones cover no no no no it wasn't a cover it was a complete original it was like this robotic voice that's okay anyway breakout fucking track but it had the signature sound now it's nothing new it wasn't this amazing breakout technology but it's like this just big thick meaty fuck off like a sawtooth wave that you hear and and and he kind of like capitalized on that and that was a thing you know for a while so a lot of other producers started fucking

knocking it off and then what happened was you know you had guys like uh josh winks who kind of pioneered the uh the tb303 Now this is like some old, you know, Japanese bass line instrument that was supposed to be used as a bass simulator. And then Buddy got the idea to crank the resonance on it and then, you know, use it as a synth. So it did this do-do-do-do-do-do. You know, like the fucking 303.

Then everyone started doing it. So we're like the electronic music committee, or committee, the fucking group. You know, we're all susceptible to these kind of fads that happen. That's some badass music history right there, though. Well, right. Now, Diplo does this thing. He comes out with taking a piece of vocal and taking just the little sustained little bit of it and going that, and then everyone starts fucking doing it. Yeah. So there's

all these little fads that just keep happening with electronic music. Like the beat drop. Like that shit? Yeah, I like that. That's a constant. I fucking love the beat drop. I can't fucking stand it. I hate it. I hate it when there are narratives in tracks. Like put your hands up.

Like the Kanye West song. What is this? A fucking robbery? Don't tell me what to fucking do. It's a creative robbery. I think it's fun. I actually like that shit. Really? I want a whole song. I love it. It's like the song comes

with this massive crescendo. I'm never in a club. And then a massive bass line happens. It's like a bad fucking porn is what it is it's like oh i'm coming yeah i'm coming well no fucking shit i'm coming i'm coming all over you i'm coming all over you or where there's yeah we get it there's those random voices you know it's like i can't stand watching porn with with narratives it's like oh you're fucking me you're fucking me i'm fucking you i'm fucking. It's like, oh, you're fucking me. I'm fucking you. I'm fucking you.

It's so true. Have you ever seen Spinal Tap? It's so annoying. Have you seen Spinal Tap? Yes. The movie. Sure. Okay, Artie Fufkin.

That's the only thing that comes to mind when I hear these obligatory sci-fi samples in dance music. It's like, hi, Artie Fufkin, Polymer Records. Hi, Artie Fufkin, Polymer Records. Artie Fufkin, Polymer Records. Artie Fufkin, Polymer Records. And then his name comes up on the screen and says, Artie Fufkin Polymer Records Artie Fufkin Polymer Records Artie Fufkin Polymer Records Artie Fufkin Polymer Records And then his name Comes up on the screen

And says Artie Fufkin Polymer Records I'm like Dude that is amazing I don't know if they meant To do that or not But it's just so fucking funny Cause he said it

Like about 15 times In a 5 second frame And then they show his name Like in case you didn't Fucking get it Oh that's funny That's brilliant So they do it in porn

And they do it in dance music And they don't... It could ruin porn. Oh, it totally could. And then you can't even... It's like this chick is sucking this guy's dick and he's like,

yeah, you're sucking my dick. I'm like, no shit. Sucking it, baby. It just makes me think like, do they have to fucking do this for people that might not understand what's happening on the screen? Or blind people.

Well, some people... Holy shit, I didn't think about that. I think it depends. It's for blind people masturbating. It's like the book's on people. Well, some people. Holy shit, I didn't think about that. I think it's for blind people masturbating. It's like the book's on tape. Well, why wouldn't you want to just hear the sounds? Fuck my dirty ass, the book. Do you know there's websites where that narrate porn videos

just for blind people? Oh, that's hilarious. It's just like he's approaching the mountain. He's coming outside. That's hilarious. He's pointing down his pants. His cock is flaccid. He's got a big helmet.

It's purple. And it's seriously... And they're good? Are they really descriptive? Like poetic? Yeah. And it's weird because it's a community-based...

Can we find some of that right now? We could find some of that right now. Can we hear this shit right now? Yeah, let's hear it, man. Come on, man. See if we can pull that up. That's brilliant. Damn.

Yeah, we need to hear that. The market for that. Come on. So sick. The units they're selling. I think people have different things. Some people like watching other people fuck and some people like Damn Yeah we need to hear that The market for that Come on So sick I'll tell you another thing The units they're selling I think people have different things Some people like watching

Other people fuck And some people like watching Porn pretending it's them You know Like you're like Oh that could be me That could be me You know

Some people Like Like being the person Being the person Like actually just beating off Watching people fuck It's like two totally different mindsets. For me, it's just looking at the naked girl.

That's me, but I mean... I don't know why I'm looking at that. I'm looking at the legs. I'm like, that looks good. I'm totally down with that, but I have to put myself in a completely different mindset if it's a black guy. If it's a black guy fucking a white girl, I have to go, okay, this is clearly not really me.

You know what I mean? I can't even pretend this is some of my weird porn when I had my blonde wig on. I'm forgetting you so hard. I'm forgetting you so hard right now. Blonde lion's mane wig for a while. There is a scene where

people like watching people fuck. African Americans fuck white girls. Oh, yeah. Well, there's a lot of guys who have weird submissive issues. If it exists, there's a porn for it, basically. Of course there is. Cuck holding, it's called.

It's a special condition. African-American cuck holding. Cuck holding? Yeah, it's like the guys. I've never heard of the cuck holding. Men want to be punked, and they want another manly man to fuck their wife in front of them. There's a lot of creepy dudes. There's a lot of guys who have some weird fucking freak fetishes, man.

You think there's black dudes who fantasize about their chick getting fucked by a white guy? Sure. Absolutely. Master gonna come over, fuck you ain't here. And they freak out. I don't know even what you're going on with. Master fucking you ain't here. And they freak out. I don't know even what you going on with. Master fucking you ain't here.

Master been fucking you while I'm working in the fields. And here's Skank Beaver. It's from Point for a Ball on Dork. I'm sure. Whatever's forbidden, man. Whatever the fuck is forbidden, someone's doing it.

Just for the psychological benefit. This is Joshua here at pornfortheblind.org. Oh, my God. Here I am presented with a clip by Skank Breakers. Skank Breakers. Website showing a woman in a glass of white substances. You're fired. You're fired.

Get out. I scroll down to the page and find myself... Honey, I have another audition today. Wish me luck. Come on, man. No. Wait. Alright, the video is starting with a woman who is young and attractive

and tan laying back on a bed and... Ah! What? Oh, my... What just happened is... This is fake. This is bullshit. This is fake.

No, no, no. Listen. Let me explain. This is a community-based website and if you look at the screen right now, there's a whole bunch of them that people put on there so some of them definitely are fake but some of them are

I've listened to a few of them that one guy was clearly trying to be an asshole right that would have been great you could tell just by the way he was talking you know what it would have been just as funny if he would have just kept the act

yeah exactly if you're going to do the act right? Yeah, exactly If you're gonna do a porn for the blind and describe someone fucking man, you better sound horny Those people just hate blind, you know, you can't be like well, she's taking out his cock You know, it's not like a special thing. This guy's not excited about it So would they lie also would they like kind of like I just like, you know, I mean cuz it's like phone sex, right? So you're on a phone with like some chick. You don't know what she looks like.

Of course, she's saying she's all this and she's all that. So would they kind of just fudge in some shit? Our good friend Marilyn Martinez, who we she passed away recently. We love her to death. She was awesome. Great comedian. Really funny lady. They used to hang around the comedy store.

She was a phone sex operator and she was probably five feet tall. Damn, I didn't know that. Yeah, she's maybe... Like legitimately a phone sex operator. Yeah, and she was a big woman. She was really big. I knew her. I just didn't know she was a phone sex operator.

She was really unhealthy. She was big. Wow. Yeah, and she was doing phone sex. Come on, that's a TV show. She would come and talk about it at the comedy store. It was hilarious. It would have been a great TV show. If she was doing false sex. Come on, that's a TV show. And she would come and talk about it at the comedy store. It was hilarious. It would have been a great TV show.

If she was alive today, it would have been a great TV show because she was hilarious, and she was great in describing all these fucking freaks that would call her up. Yeah, I like toes in my ass. Oh, baby, I got my toe in your ass right now. Yeah, my toes in your ass. I'm like, my fucking toes in your ass? She would go, oh, yeah, these sick fucks. They want to hear all kinds of shit. I've seen that in a porn recently, the toes in your ass She would go oh yeah these sick fucks

They just they want to hear all kinds of shit I've seen that in a porn recently Dude There is a porn Out there on somewhere Dot com with a Guy in a mouse head on a chick I shit you not

That's weird and I get that Ass all the time I was like oh would you do a Chick with a mouse head on? I wouldn't. Somewhere down the line prosthetics somewhere down the line prosthetics gonna get so good that you're gonna have to you're gonna be able to watch like JFK fucking Marilyn Monroe. You know I'm kind of scared about this shit I really am not not not like in terms of

fucking dude and a fucking mouse head or whatever, but think about it. You know, where people are getting convicted on CCTV footage or doing shit like that. With today's CG artists and shit like that, we could fuck a dude up. Do you remember Wag the Dog? Remember that Dustin Hoffman movie? I haven't seen that.

It was a movie about they faked some military action. It was a political movie, faked some military action. It was a political movie. And a lot of it was special effects they used. They brought in Hollywood guys. Right. And I was thinking, you know, today, God, it would be so easy. It really would.

It would be so easy to fake something. It would be so easy. Doesn't that fucking scare the shit out of you a little bit? It's terrifying. It's terrifying if they can restrict access. They're overdubbing my shit right now with meows. What do you mean? Oh, yeah. Like, fuck, you know, it's not hard to do.

There's a recent law passed by Congress that's going to have hundreds of thousands of drones in the sky. Dude, what the fuck? Something like more than 30,000 drones. Like really boring people? No, no, no. Have you been keeping up with that? Let's fucking put it in orbit. No, cameras.

Cameras in the sky to watch over the city streets. All right. You know, the idea is, hey, man, if you're not doing anything bad, but what if you're trying to fuck in an alleyway somewhere? What if you're with your girl and you're just like, come on, you dirty bitch. Someone's going to see. You're like, shut up. No one's going to see. Come on shut up. No one's going to stay.

Come on, baby. No one's going to stay. Okay, quick. Be quick. Be quick. And now you're on the government's fucking video because of that? Because there's a little spaceship in the sky? Hey, is Erica there?

This is the government. We've seen your boy the other day. That's bullshit. I think they have larger agendas. You would think, but... You're dutching the drone boners. You would think, but... Just saying. You would think, but 28 high school kids got arrested recently because they hired cops to pretend to be undercover. They pretended to be high school kids.

It's like 21 fucking Jump Street. But just hanging around or trying to push it? Trying to buy weed. Oh, that's funny. Weed! 28 high school kids arrested in Florida for weed because cops pretended to be high school. You would think that they would use the resources wisely, but if they could get you for sexual exposure outside, especially, by the way, if you're anywhere near a school, if you're within a certain amount of yards of a school,

that's all of a sudden you're a sexual predator. If you take a leak outside of a children's school, you piss on that school. Who's going to do that? What would you do if you're? If you're for somebody else. Just if by all chance. If you're some crazy drifter. If you're an idiot and you don't know any better.

You can't find a bathroom. You can't do that. No shortage of dogs. You walk around the back of the bathroom. There's no bathroom. Why don't we just piss on this wall? All right. You get busted for that.

If they arrest you for that, you're a sexual predator. Whoa. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, in a lot of places. If you're peeing on a kid's pool. I'd say we have sex in a park. That's got to be a lot of posted going up around the house.

You know, like don't piss near a school. What's really crazy is when you get don't piss here, you'll be fucking branded. We really don't piss by the school. We should be rebels tonight and just go to school just to do it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it, especially after we talked about on the Internet. The government is going to know. They're going to have

the drones out. By the time they're telling you that there's drones, there's fucking, there's already been drones here for years. I have drones on a daily basis. I always say that

about like cloning. God damn it. What is going on? By the time they talk about cloning, well, we're going to try cloning. The guy telling you is probably a clone.

They've been cloning forever. There's no way they're going to tell you the common person when they're ready to clone people. They'll make all sorts of experiments before they let people know. Government labs, black labs.

They probably already have. Absolutely. Fuck. I mean, if they thought that they could make an army of psychotic fucking robot flesh people, if they thought they could clone you and take out all your morality and just send you... Dude, you know, how much fucking money... It was their first attempt. Dude, how much money would they make if they just clone hot bitches?

And they just fucking sold hot bitches? No, they would flood the market. Oh, we can't do that. No, no, no. The real money would be. Then the ugly person would be the hot bitch. The money would really be in killing them off and getting a small number of them. Would that be true, Joe?

And making them like pearls. Would that be true? If they cloned all hot girls so it was like hot girl was more than ugly girl, would the ugly girl be the hot girl then? Yeah, actually she would because she would be rare. That one unique thing that she would be.

Guys know. Guys know. She'd be a low-rent sex worker. They did it in Sweden. Exactly. I got this limited fucking edition. Limited edition smells. It's Schwarzenegger's nanny.

And you know, they did that in Sweden for like 30 or 50 years. That's where the slug in the ditch came from. Is of an overdub of him saying, you son of a bitch. And say, you slug in a ditch. And the whole fucking thing was off. It was like, that was Arnold. What were you saying, Eddie? What was I saying?

I don't know. Cloning. We're running into each other a lot here. We're having fun. When you get marijuana and alcohol together in one room and everybody's talking shit. What were we just talking about? Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice being redubbed. Yeah, but that was an interjection.

That wasn't a discussion. I forgot. We were talking about cloning hot chicks. Yeah. Well, I was saying that. Oh, no. In Sweden, they did that. What?

Eugenics they actually let they would for 30 40 50 years this is where the nazis got all their shit in sweden that's why all the hot chicks come from sweden and good looking dudes too if you like that shit they all come from sweden swedish house well that's there's a lot of hot chicks all over the world but i'm i hear what you're saying There's a large number that came from Sweden. Sweden was all about what's best for the country. And they thought that based on the symmetry of your face, whether or not they should reproduce.

So if you had a baby, they would look at the baby and they would analyze it, scientists, make sure everything is perfectly symmetrical. What, like 300 and take it to the cliffside and go, nope. They would sterilize the baby if she was in perfect symmetry. Whoa, when did this happen? This is real shit eugenics. This is where the Nazis got all their shit from Sweden, man. Look into it, son.

It's crazy. That's why all the good-looking people. So how long did they engineer this for? It was something like it was part of their country. They convinced the entire nation that the country was above you personally. So when you had a baby, the scientists analyzed the baby. And if it was perfect, they would let it breed. Someone's writing a script as we speak.

You've never heard of this? Is this real? They really did this? I don't know. They really engineered this? This is good. I mean, I got a lot of free time. Man, in Sweden, there's a lot of good-looking people, man.

I've been there like three times, and every five minutes, you see a supermodel. I've seen some minjos in Sweden. Every five years or every five minutes, that was the timing that I thought. Because everywhere I would look, I was going to try to explain it to my friends. I'm like, the only way you can explain it is on average, every five minutes, you see a supermodel. You're like, you go to McDonald's. Sweat mcdonald's sweat it sweat it all amazing sweden's government said on wednesday that it had commissioned a study into why eugenics was involved in the country in the 19th and 20th centuries leading to tens of thousands being sterilized by force i told you man what sterilized

being a euphemistic term for just killing it. No. Sterilized. They clip your balls, man. And it was based on your... But it was about this. Think about why they did it. They did it based on the shape of your face. They thought based

on the symmetry of your face that you had good genes. So one eye on the left, check. This is the exact... If you were ugly, you were not producing. That's the way it was. This is incredible. Listen to this.

A fundamental aim is to find out what the society that had developed this eugenics mentality and established accepted scientific research in the area looked like. The Swedish minister said in a statement. And this is the social philosophy of eugenics, which advocates the improvement of human hereditary traits through social intervention developed in Sweden and elsewhere in Europe during the

1800s before becoming the basis for widespread racial policies in the 20th century. That's fucking incredible. That's why Stephen Jell-O is so good looking. Well, that's, you know, the worst thing anybody has ever said was Hitler had a great idea, but he just took it too far. It's like the worst thing anybody ever said. It's like, it's one of those things where you go, whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't fucking say that. You can't even, you can't accept any of his ideas. It's Hitler.

But this is what they're saying. They're saying like this idea that human beings had to realize that people live and people die. And the right way to move the species forward is to get the best one. Well, you have to remember at the time when that was employed to the... The ignorance. Well, the climate going around. There wasn't the communication available like the internet, and the politics were obviously way up for a fucking scoop.

What they don't understand is they're right and they're wrong at the same time. They're right as a mathematical program. They're wrong as a species. The species, the merit should be to whatever the the rest of the species finds you know attractive finds uh what they're drawn to whatever they like whatever they whether it's blonde hair and blue eyes whatever the aryans were doing but we're one of the only very few species that even fucking take that into consideration whereas right you know other species of the animal fucking kingdom would just be like... They would let it go. Exactly. The idea that we want to engineer it.

It's nonsense. To me, it's just a massive form of control freakism, but it's based on science. They're trying to make genetically the perfect species. But I say that's ridiculous because it's not about that. It's not about what looks the best, what's the most sexually attractive, what has the best.

A lot of it is about the brain. A lot of it is about the mind and the mind's reaction to all the experiences of life and how the mind develops. And the mind of a geek, what are you going to engineer all the geeks out? You engineer all the geeks out. The geeks shall fucking inherit the earth at the end of the fucking day. They're on the computer level they're they're attacking in the mental form the idea that you're going to eliminate the most progressive aspect of society the people that are the people that are fluent in computer technology and and creating

you know infrastructure that this whole fucking internet runs on the idea that you're gonna eliminate them is this silly That's so short-sighted. It's so stupid. We'd be like idiocracy Yeah, well you've you've engineered yourself into a corner Will you think that you because because you're attracted to broad cheeks like that's what everybody needs That's right. That was true of eugenics was true. Maybe on a physical sense is pure physical not emotional, right? If that was true, if eugenics was true, maybe on a physical sense, just pure physical, not emotional, not intellectual. For a worker, it would be good. Think about it. For a sex worker.

Do I get a piss break? Yeah. Go through that door. There's the last door on the left. Think about it. I like that you're still rocking the wallet chain. I rock one as well. This one today is leather, but oftentimes I wear steel.

Nice, man. If my girlfriend's shitting in there, just pee on her. Yeah. Nice. Now we're talking by the way i gotta talk about this because eddie and i were talking about this on the way over uh there's an article on some internet what's wrong is she coming back uh yeah she's not really i think she's in the bathroom is she really in there i think so don't don't don't wait i'll wait what a man a holy gentleman hold it we were talking about this is some article about uh

some porn star who made apparently she made a million dollars going to the middle east and having sex with like really rich guys they're all like really rich royal guys and she you know she talked about it and she had like this online interview where she was talking about all the different crazy shit they would make her do like have sex with german shepherds drink a glass of cum one of them was they showed up they all showed up this is so crazy dude i just read this today they she said she said they showed up you know they said it was supposed to be really kinky they didn't know what the fuck that meant you know she's like i've seen it all when they

go on a they're on a boat they'll show up on a yacht there's all these dudes that are like 50 you know the dudes say all right take your clothes off start playing with yourself so they all say all right cool and then guys come along and start pissing on them and they want them to open up their mouth they want to want to piss in their mouth they start shitting on girls like and the girls are some of the girls screamed like fuck this like are you you're not gonna get paid you can go over there and sit and wait till we you know pull in the dock but this is what we do and so that's what they do that's what their whole movement they pay these people a fuckload of money and just piss on them and shit on them it's like wow you gotta consider the health risk.

Damn, that's got to be expensive. Well, the urine isn't zero. There's no risk. But shit, there's a high risk. Come on. Urine, you can drink people's piss and it's really not an issue. Dude, you know how much you got to pay a bitch to shit on her? You can't just do that for like $1,000.

That's just not going to happen. It's a crazy thing of what one of the girls said. One of the girls who was in there said that after you get shit on the third time, it's like no big deal. Like, damn. Like, she remembers when she became numb. Damn. The third time. I would think it would.

Some trillionaire shit on her chest. Yeah. You've got to pay a bitch at least. She's got to be thinking like, you know, 15, 20 grand cash. Well, what this girl said was that in the article, what this girl said was that after whatever she's done over there for how long she did it, she had a million dollars in the bank and she was retiring. She had a million dollars cash and she was done. And she was like 28 years old or something like that. I'm like, wow. But she was like super honest about all the different shit they forced her to do.

And it's like, whoa. You know, she thought she had, you know, doing porn and stuff. She had like seen it all. And she's like, you know, you get over there and they're making you fuck dogs. Who's that? Damn. Fucking dogs must be expensive. Come on.

That's gotta be. Right. Fucking a dog. How much? Well, I don't know how long this broad was over there, but she said she made a million. That's Miles's phone. If you hear that vibrating, he's in the bathroom.

Come on. Russell's on his way. If you lived in Dubai and you had all the money in the world, damn, you might have to just go right big. Well, you don't tell them about it. You can't tell them about it.

Tell them about what? About they got to fuck dogs until they get there. Well, you know what I think? I wouldn't say shit until they got there. You know what I think? They start off with cats. You know what I think? You ease't say shit until they got there. They start off with cats. You know what I think?

You ease them into the dog. You can't talk about the dog in the email. You can't talk about fucking the dog that quick. There might be some cat kissing. They got to see the money. You show them a pile of money, stacks of hundreds, and then the dog comes. Well, I think what happens is they get bored. They get bored in what they can get these girls to do.

Oh, what the fuck did I just do? And they start ramping it up. We're talking about having sex with dogs. We're talking about really rich dudes in the Middle East. Oh, okay. That pay. There was a whole thing of them, like a network of them, but some girl busted it all out because she got caught with her laptop,

and then the cat was out of the bag, and it turned out that a lot of these girls that were going over there to quote-unquote model were actually going over there. And they were, like, really famous girls. Like, you know, you can find them in movies and TV shows and stuff. I think they just have bad fucking management. You know what I mean? Because if you don't get those, like, the kind of points defined, you know, no matter what the fuck it is, you know, if you're being paid to over there to play music.

You know, I mean, I've heard heard of like uh prolific djs going out to countries you know what i mean and then they go and do the show as commission you know what i mean but literally in some of these more like volatile countries and shit like that you know they would be like dude you're gonna play this song and you have to play this song and if you don't basically we'll take you back and fucking fuck you up big time uh what yeah i've heard of things threatened dudes oh yeah dude even i even have some fucking horror stories really yeah but and fuck you up big time. What? Yeah. I've heard of things. They threaten dudes? Oh, yeah, dude. I even have some fucking horror stories.

Really? Yeah. What countries are the issues? You can't talk about it? With me? No, I just, you know, I don't want to discriminate. Have you ever heard of anybody in a country that you can talk about? A specific country? No, I just don't want to go there.

But I'm just saying, let's just say a dodgy country. Okay, a dodgy country. And, you know, you're asked to perform and all this stuff. And say you're known for something else, too. And that's not part of what you're contracted for. And they want you to say, dynamite. Exactly. Oh, you have to do it.

You have to fucking do it. You know what I mean? And they're like, dude, you know, and then it gets gnarly. And you can say, look, dude, this isn't in the order, the work order kind of thing. You know what I mean? They're like, we don't give a fuck dude just play ghost and stuff yeah yeah like that you know what i mean no it's not that bad i do it anyway but you know it like like say that you know what i mean if i don't play ghosts and stuff in the fucking said fucking place you know it gets really fucking gnarly and you're essentially out there on your fucking own you

know what i mean with you and whoever you with, your tour manager and shit like that. So you don't exactly have a personal army to fucking back your shit up if you're being threatened to do something. So sometimes you just say, you know what? Fuck it. Do it. Because when you start to get in people's faces about, yo, dude, I'm done. How much influence do people have? Or I should say, do they try to have when they book you

for things well that's the funny thing um there are kind of like two levels of the whole like you know at least with my experience of being a performer uh one is like you know the gay for pay you know you go you know what you're getting into you go and you do it you just get out and that's it and then the other one's like you know you go there and then the rules change you know what i mean but there's not much like you know of a dictator or mediator to come in and say you know hey look this isn't in this and you know you have to like go above and beyond and all this shit so you're playing for these people you know first and foremost when i go to play a show i'm there for everyone that's there you know what i mean i'm not there for the fucking dickhead who may be paying me some insane figure to fucking be there. But the dickhead who does pay you some insane figure to fucking be there is like, you know, like they take that big lump or whatever and say, this is my justification for making you my bitch tonight.

You know what I mean? And this is about me and my company and how we're going to do this show. low levels yeah exactly or you know and it happens low and high yeah yeah we're like dude well no we just totally paid you to do this so we we own you but you know as long as you go in with the attitude it's like look it's like i'm gonna go ahead and go do something extra anyway but only because it's like shit dude i see like the whole first you know 20 rows of fucking smiley faces and they're all having fun despite all this bullshit that's going on between me and a promoter. You know, so the thing about, you know, like DJs and shit like that is that, you know, when they're starting out, you're always working for someone. You know what I mean? Like, no matter what, you're going to a club, you're playing for the club owner because he's the guy that's paying your fucking bill.

And, you know know is there a point where you turn absolutely yeah because it becomes your production and it's your crew and it's your production company because i mean like i said signing a deal with live nation was like the best thing i could have done for myself because you know live nation is huge yeah and i work help out with do uh concerts to them they're awesome right so but then it becomes your show yeah you know not not and so and so presents joe fucking roger they're always cool the representatives are yeah and then and then you can always walk into a show have a great fucking time yeah i get emails from random promoter dudes and i'm like you know and i might be great but it could be

uber sketchy pain the ass yeah ass. Yeah. I've had those. You can't get paid. But you get to a point, too, where you can really know who's cool and not. Yeah, absolutely. I have a dream team of promoters. And there are many of them, maybe 20 or 30 of dudes that I would even fucking hang with. Right. You know what I mean?

And playing for those guys is always fun and great. Yeah, I've got a bunch of those guys in Canada. But you'll always get this one fucking dude, you know I mean who just puts in this insane offer and of course you know your agency is just like yeah oh shit dude check out this fucking smash and grab all you have to do is this and then you show up and then it's like dude you're my bitch basically so you have to do this you have to fucking do that and here's your time slot and I don't give a shit you know and then you're bummed out because of that obviously but you're not bummed out because there are fuck tons of fucking, you know,

kids that came to fucking see you. And that's the only thing that really kind of makes it all worthwhile. so when you get into a situation like that, what, what is the big, uh, the big toss up over? Is it the set list?

Is it, you know, like I, this is my type of music. This is what the kids want to hear. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes it used to be,

you know what I mean? Until I, you know, I kind of, I kind of made my own thing and that's obviously what they're buying in the first place so they're never going to question you on that but it's it's usually you know just you know some kind of time constraint or something you know where they get other acts to which you know and like i said the the funnier, the easier it gets is when you just say, you know what? Fuck it. Let everyone do what they want.

You know what I mean? If fucking DJ Super Awesome wants to cut my set by 15 minutes and then, you know, early in your career, it's always a pissing contest and it's always like, no, no, I'm not doing it. If that's not happening, then I'm not going on. If they cut me this much, I'm not going on. And you see it a lot. You know what I mean?

But then you get to a point where it's like, all right, let them, let them, you know, because you can always explain this shit. And, and, and one of the beautiful things I find with my, you know, horde of fucking fans is that I can always just tell it how it is. You know what I mean? So then after you have the opportunity now, I always, you know, and I kind of always try to always did, you know what I mean? And so, and then if everyone says, well, dude, you know,

why did you get canceled at this? And then I can just say, look, look. You can make a blog entry. Absolutely. Explain yourself. You don't have to wait for a reporter to contact you. And you don't got to bullshit anyone. Yeah.

You know what I mean? You just tell it right there. And then it's, well, listen, I really apologize, but it's because of this is why we couldn't do this. Right. You know, and then the more laid back you are when it comes to that stuff and this is really good advice especially for like i don't i don't want to categorize them but like c-list guys that wanted you know that get put on these massive bills with

like tons of fucking dudes you know it's just not to be all like super you know litigious and weird and antsy and just aggro in general about, you know, what time you're given. Right. Because, you know, the more relaxed you are about it, you know,

the better. Just get the fucking job done. Dude, you're, you're, you're mirroring standup comedy. I mean, it's not,

it must be the exact same mentality in the, the rising comedian as it is in the rising electronic DJ. It's the same story. It's the same thing. You have to listen to people until everybody's coming to see you. And then you don't have to listen to anybody anymore. Right. It's the same story the same thing you have to listen to people until everybody's coming to see you and then you don't have to listen anybody anymore right it's the same thing and then it's just all out yeah and it's you and them and the attitude and you have about third party doing shows with a gang of other people about you know your times your time don't worry about it all

that don't be so locked up and in rigid let it go and then just go up when you go up and do your shit and if you don't get up and if something epically fucked up so bad you can always just say explain it yeah you explain it look it fucked up so bad because this fucking dickhead brought all this shit yeah that's what it was there's a lot of conflict when um acts like tour together the only time i ever toured with anybody i toured with john heffron and charlie murphy and one time i you know we were all doing like different what it was charlie murphy was headlining one night then i would headline the next night and no matter what happened charlie murphy never gave a fuck there could be some crazy the room could have gone on fire for half an hour did it take you a while to learn that

for him no man no for you for me yeah definitely you know it took me a while to learn how to relax i still don't know it i get it and then i lose it it's like sand slipping through my fingers i learned from a dj nick fanciulli who just always said to me he just would always say the only thing ever out of this guy's fucking mouth was dude relax yeah he's right yeah he's totally fucking he's totally right you know um it just relax if you've done the work you know you say relax if you're ready relax if you've done the work you know you say relax if you're ready relax if you've done the work which you should be you're a fucking professional and whatever you're doing but yeah i i kid when i say that i don't really have control

of it because i don't ever want to believe that i have control of it because i don't want to sleep i don't want to rest on it and let it creep up on me and burn the house down right you know the the human mind's a very fucking tricky thing man it's It's got to be kept on point and always on its tippy toes. You know, but that feeling of, it's a very frustrating feeling of having somebody else trying to influence what the fuck you're trying to do. You know, when you're coming up as a digital artist, as a comedian, I think as anything, people want to define you and they have their own ideas. as a comedian, I think as anything, people want to define you and they have their own ideas. And the same thing that made you not be a good website designer,

be like, bitch, if I want to do it in blue, it's going to be blue. That's like your music, you know? And that's how you have to be as a comedian too, I think. They're very much the same. It's like in order to really get your point across, you have to have a solitary vision, you know? Do you have a crew as far as what we hear from you musically? Musically? Do you have a crew?

No, no. Musically, I really like to kind of just run the show there. But I have a crew for the show. For the show. Who help me with the visuals, the technology, the cube stuff, all the LED mouse heads and stuff. So you program everything and come up with everything and you record everything and produce everything?

Musically, yes. Wow. Yeah, yes. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's fun, you know, like, and that's kind of what kind of got it all started for me. You know, I didn't come out of the gate as, you know, the purveyor and awesome play button pusher of other people's work. Most of your stuff, original music or sampled half and half? No, never sampled. Everything's original.

Yeah, I really like to do that and just keep it that way. Obviously for the whole, well, we don't have to pay out fucking serious sync fees or licensing or buying the rights to make a derivative work of something that's already been done. That's something I really like to avoid. So you've never sampled anything? No. Well, yeah, I have actually. I have sampled a couple things, but they were just little boutique tracks that never really went out and made it big are there any samples that you've heard in your head like you know that you wanted a sample but you're like

fuck it's too much of a headache well it's never it's never a headache to do it it's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is permission when you wait really but what happened like what it has a business work explain this Really? What happens when MC Hammer makes a song like Can't Touch This? That's the ultimate example. Well, then do as fucking directed. You can't touch it.

Fuck. That's like the ultimate anti-sample right there. Do you like mashups? Do you enjoy mashups? Hold on. Answer the question. What happens there? Who gets the money? Who gets the money for it? MC Hammer makes a song like Can't Touch This.

If I remix You Can't Touch This, if I take You Can't Touch This and put this in the dance track and do that? No, no, no. That's not what I'm saying. What are you saying? Can't Touch This is Rick James. She's super free. Well, he couldn't touch it. He's saying the same thing.

No, no, no, no. I'm saying that track, that riff, that's a Rick James riff. Well, that's a derivative work. Completely. Okay. So how does that work? Rick James's james that's a rick that's a derivative work completely okay so how how does that work does he okay james gets money there are some laws that would dictate you know that it's a cover as opposed to a direct sampling of the recording now these laws are still not even close to you know super defined you know so it's always a case it's always a case. It's always a musicologist involved, especially with Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby,

which was the original. Right, another excellent. Who was the expert on that? And his whole defense to all that was it's not... He was like, no, it's... I'm like, wow. That's your defense. Yeah, so there are certain things you can get away with. There used to be kind of like a general apply rule And I'm like, wow. That's your defense. Yeah.

You know, so there are like certain things you can get away with. There used to be like kind of like a general apply rule where you could say, okay, well, then fine. No more than, you know, three seconds should be the rule. You know what I mean? And then it's obviously changed because people can recreate the exact same thing just as easily. It's like the constant, you know, like those songs piss me off. That's like you're just making me think of like some cool old song that I used to like. I would still just call it a remix. You know what I mean?

It's a remix. Remake, remix, cover, all that stuff. I actually recently did a cover of a Radiohead song, Codex, off of The King of Limbs. Now, the way that I did that is, you know, I'm a huge radio fan, so I kind of took it as myself as an exercise to, you know, see if I could reproduce it as close as possible, minus obviously his fucking amazing vocal

and all that shit, because I can't sing for a fuck. So, you know, I remade his track and threw it up on SoundCloud, you know, just kind of like, you know, with a huge disclaimer saying, dude, this is is not theirs this is not a remix right uh and i've just an artistic exercise the whole thing as an artistic exercise and you know i don't plan on monetizing all that if i actually a plan on anything was just getting you know fucking yo

tom york what up you know what i mean you know so i do a lot of things like that and i've done it with boards of canada who are this are this like Scottish group that I like absolutely love. And, you know, and but as long as I don't just go like, hey, yeah, this is going to be on my next album. Check it out at none, none, none. And, you know, and kind of sort of sell people on the vibe that, oh, this is my big thing. This is original because, you know, how many Vanilla Ice Ice fans fucking all be at 16 to 20 years old and even knew who the fucking Eurythmics was? You know what I mean?

That could have been... David Bowie and Mick Jagger, wasn't it? Under Pressure? Queen. Oh, fuck. Yeah, that's right. Eurythmics. I don't know what I'm thinking about. Sweet Dreams. That was Queen. Who the fuck gets the money for that, though? Did they go to court over that?

Yeah, they sit down. They probably got permission for that. Do you remember the Verve? Remember that song, Bittersweet Symphony? Apparently, they lost all their money to the Rolling Stones. Of course. They took the music. Without asking. Usually, in rap, it's very acceptable to sample music

and then just rap over it. But no one really has sampled music and sung over it. So Verve was like, we're sampling shit. Is that what they did? Yeah, not rap. They sampled it? They just took the Rolling Stones music? It was amazing either way.

Well, I'm telling you, dude, I've had motherfuckers take whole songs of mine and not change a thing except for like a speed or a pitch of it and then pass it off as hey this is my new thing with no even and oh this is dead mouses track and you're always gonna fucking get that you know what i mean dude bite fucking bitch is gonna fucking bite your jokes you know what i mean you're just gonna get that dj mince you know uh doug stanhope do you know doug stanhope i don't know shit doug stanhope's a hilarious comedian and he, some guy was taking his bits and verbatim writing them out as if

they're blog entries. Like word for word. Brilliant drunken ramblings on society and culture. Oh shit! Hey, Russell P in the place to be. Hey, why aren't you at the Junos? My brother. It's Zimmerman. Russell Peters has just entered the building.

With... There's some people here, and everyone's saying hi. You know, your brother worked on my Christmas special. Oh, Chris? Yeah. No shit. He was a fucking grip on it. Oh, sweet.

These Canadians, man. When they get together, all of a sudden. Hey, your brother. My brother worked on his show. Canadians love Canadians. Fuck. You know what? That guy just made my fucking day.

Because my brother, God bless him. You know, he's not successful. He's not, like, wide known. But he really wants to get into film and television and gripping and all that stuff. And I didn't even know he fucking did that. And now that you said that, I got to call my brother one more time. Russell Peters is one of the greatest humans. Just totally gave you a fucking big up.

With mice on them. Russell Peters is one of the greatest humans that's ever lived. I love this guy. He's hammered, but he'd like to maintain that. Let's keep this. Have a beer, my brother. I drink beer, but fuck it. Come on.

Salute. I don't drink beer, but fuck it. Salute. Is there any more Coronas left? Yeah, here's one. Oh, no, it's mine. You don't want my spit, brother. We'll get some more. We'll get some more for you. Salute. Is there any more Coronas left? Yeah, here's one. No, that's mine. You don't want my spit, brother. We'll get some more.

We'll get some more for you. All right. Give me a list of the bands that influenced you musically. Russell Peters in the fucking house. As you were growing up. As you were growing up. Russell Peters gunded here. From the beginning?

Do you know where I came to? Just real quick. Idiot's frozen. These two guys, Justin, Blaze and Breezy. They're my homeboys from Brooklyn. Blaze and Breezy? He're my homeboys from Brooklyn. He got hard when he heard you were going to be here. Oh, no way.

He's a producer, too. No way. Blaze, that's Breezy. Only two black dudes can walk in and be called Blade and Breezy, and nobody freaks out. Blaze and Breezy, and nobody goes. Did we lose the video? Dude, I had an epic black guy freak out at my house i'm doing renovations right now so an epic black guy freak out it was fucking hilarious it was these uh because i have like about about 16 construction workers all just

kind of in and out of the house like for the last uh six months because i'm doing a big renovation right so i don't know any of them and all this stuff. And I'm only home for like two days. Right. So they start at 9 a.m. But no one told me this shit. Right. So the biggest fucking black dude just kind of walks in and I don't know what to fucking

because I wasn't expecting anyone. But he was like one of the people working on the studio and stuff like that. And I just kind of stopped. He didn't knock. He just kind of busted in like he would because I wasn't there so he was supposed to do that yeah uh and i just like kind of froze for a bit because like dude this dude's just walking into my fucking house and so i turn around i'm like uh dude can i help you and he's like what yeah i'm supposed to be working on your place and then it clicked right and then i was like oh my god oh okay yeah yeah and then all of a sudden all the other fucking dudes caught on to

me you know calling this guy you know as he's walking into my fucking house and he went oh yeah the big black dude fucking walks into your fucking place you're freaking out oh you thought he was gonna rob you no no no i was like no you just turned on your canadian accent i just fucking told you he really did you're, I was like, wow. You're talking a different black dude. You're talking black Canadians, which are completely different guys. Those are Brooklyn black guys. Black Canadians are the nicest people ever.

Is this house in Canada? They're like David Loazzo. Yeah, but he was really fucked up. I mean, could you imagine? I shit you not. I was sitting in my boxers on the fucking computer. Were you ready to run or were you ready to fight? What were you thinking?

I wasn't thinking nothing. I was just looking at him like, dude, can I help you? He was like, what? He's thinking his next beat. Yeah, that's a fucking freaky moment. When anybody's in your house, you're not prepared, especially a big black guy. Was this in Canada or here? Yeah, in Toronto.

Are you in Toronto or are you in St. Cath? No, Toronto. I live in Toronto. All right, don't get crazy. Slow it down there, mouse. Yo, watch out. I, in Toronto. Are you in Toronto or are you in St. Catharines? No, Toronto. I live in Toronto. All right, don't get crazy. Slow it down there, mouse. Yo, watch out. I live in Toronto. Slow it down there, angry rat.

Toronto's a badass city, man. I fucking love Toronto. Toronto loves Joe Rogan. I did a comedy club there. And Eddie Bravo. I did a comedy club there. It was a pot shop. And people were allowed to smoke weed as the show was going on.

Yeah. I don't want to say the name. I don't even say where it is. The Rivoli. You go there it's like a bong shop. They take in this back room and there's not a fan in the place. There's no air. There's no air. The whole place is just gray, man. It's like you're flying through the clouds. It was ridiculous.

Cafe contact high. It was the most ridiculous environment I've ever been a part of. It was Cloud Nine, Queen. We know it. It's called Henry's Hot Box. Russell Peters comes with a goddamn posse. Yeah. He's not fucking around.

I had to roll deep here. That's Dylan Garcia. And you know Jesus, don't you? I don't know. Jesus Trejo. He's a... They're both comics. How you guys doing?

What's up? How you doing? Jesus is from Lafayette, from the Comedy Store. Nice. Russell Peters does not travel by himself. They're both comics How you guys doing? What's up? How you doing? Jesus is from Lafayette From the comedy store Nice Russell Peters does not Travel by himself Do you have a tour bus Or some shit?

I don't It came in two cars Are you Mexican? Are you just in LA Hanging out? I live here You live here You're in your six years

He's Indian man You don't know Are you on the O1 Or are you like US I thought he was Mexican Green card Cardi was saying That we were gonna

Hook up one day You have a green card And you still buy houses in America? You're a savage. You don't give a fuck. If I didn't know for sure if I had to get into Canada. I had to buy my ex-wife a house, for fuck's sake. Stop it, please.

Ex? Ex? How long? When did this happen? How long? How long? How long you been? She gets the house Wednesday.

Wednesday. Oh, jeez. We had a conversation about this about a year ago. You knew it was coming. Yeah, come on, son. We had a conversation a year ago. Russell Peters was preparing for impact. He was putting helmets on and shit.

I had my legs. I had my head between my legs. Elbow pads. He knew it was coming. He knew the rocks were there. I knew that my seat was a flotation device. That boat was hitting the rocks, son. That's right.

There's no doubt about it. Hey, it is what it is. It all worked out great. It all works. You're Russell Peters. You win. We're actually cooler now than we were when we were together.

That's beautiful. She probably loves you now. She respects you that you got away from her bullshit. Sometimes girls need that and then when they're in a situation where you cannot ever leave, like we have a child together,

there's girls that abuse guys because they're constantly in this psychological drama, this seesaw battle of putting guys on the defensive so the guy proves that he's a man like i i dated a girl that always wanted to fight and and i was like look i can't do this anymore she left and then she started dating some other dude and did the same goddamn thing and then i had a better him than you right exactly but i mean as a person i liked her as a person i liked her as a person i was like what do you think's going on she's like i can't help it i i have to push a

guy she goes it's like it's in me i don't know what it is i want to push him into a corner and i want to get him to tell me to shut the fuck up i want to know that he'll he's willing to walk away from me otherwise i can't respect him well when you can't walk away when you have a kid when you get one of those crazy bitches pregnant that's what happens they're stuck in a goddamn circuit loop it turns out mine was only crazy because of the hormones from being pregnant and postpartum oh that's but by that time i had already checked out so it was too late damn but you know the ironic part she's a big dead mouse fan and that's oh that's sad well if you know that man

why don't you guys try to get back together again nah nah because I'm not into it I'll get her tickets

are you guys friends still we're cool we're cool but you loved you really loved it when you first met her right

nah nah it was a rebound but it was oh snap honesty fills the airways with truth. Hey, why aren't you at the Junos this year?

Because they got Shatner hosting it this year. I know. How dope is that? That is still pretty cool. Are you there this year? Yeah. What are you going to do? What are you guys talking about?

What the fuck are you talking about? Junos. What is a Juno? Junos is a Canadian Grammy. Okay, no one knows that. You know, the ironic thing is he's a Jew. No one knows that. Here's the ironic thing.

He's a Jew and I have a Junos. Isn't that fucked up? I'm only Jewish when I'm in Hollywood. Don't expect gold. It's late and I'm drinking beer, which I don't drink. What do you drink? What would you like? Can we get him alcohol in some form? It's only 1 a.m. Hey, you're next to the alcohol right there.

Oh, we got some stuff over here. You don't want this Crown Royal, trust me, man. This will fucking melt your tires. Hey, Breezy, can you hit the bar for me out there? How old is that crown? It's pretty new. It's pretty new, but I'm telling you, it's so nasty. Joe, you have the other stuff in there.

Oh, yeah, the shit that Ronda Rousey got. The Glendales. Where is that? The Glendales. What is it, Armenian? Yeah, Armenian. For real. Yeah, man, don't make fun of Armenians, bro.

I love Armenians. Damn. Joe just loves Armenians. Armenians are my people. We're both hairy motherfuckers, so we have to respect Armenians. Well, we're very similar in genome. Italian, Indian, Armenian. That's right.

We are genetically predisposed to follicle, not being follically challenged. They hooked me up with some fucking badass cognac. Damn, that's an exo shit. Cogn me up with some fucking badass cognac. Damn, that's an XO shit. Cognac. It's really good, man. Cognac. Ronda Rousey came over and the Armos sent this over with her.

She said the Armenians love me and they love when I talk good about Armenians. So I'll talk good about Armenians the day I die. When a grown man buys me a bottle of Courvoisier He got me You will choke a Turk out for an Armenian What is it? Is it cognac? It's some badass drink It's XO, it's the good shit What is it? What kind of an alcohol is that? It's Martel Cognac, it's the XO

It is pretty fucking good I was about to drink out of this, Brian Until I saw goddamn pot crumbs in there You did that How dare you Oh, it's this stack. It was the wrong stack. I thought you threw some shit

in my clean stack. No. Because I looked at the stack and I'm like, your stack's clean. You asked weed into that. A thousand apologies. So do you like mashups? Do you enjoy people mashups? Do you enjoy when people do videos? I like it when people that don't do it, do it. Oh, okay. I don it when people that don't do it do it.

Oh, okay. I don't like people that shouldn't do it do it. Right. I hate that. Right. Do you enjoy Party Ben, Girl Talk, or any of those guys? Girl Talk's not a fucking DJ. Let me get that in there right now.

Hold on a second. This guy, by the way, you should have been here earlier because he completely mirrors your sentiments on the whole DJ. What is the definition of DJ? He's an electronic artist. Yeah, that's how I look at you. Russell's a discs guy. He's a DJ. You know that, right? Do you know that? Do I know what? That I've been

DJing since 85. Have you really? Back in the Wolfman Jack days. He's really good. I was on the radio back in the day, me and Mastermind. We had the hip-hop show. No shit. On Energy. 108. We had the hip-hop show and I shit. On Energy 108. We had the hip-hop show, and I was the DJ in the background.

You know Williams? Wayne Williams. Oh, he was horrible. He's a horrible human. No, I'm good. I'm good. Thanks. Give it to me.

I'll take it. I've done it. Yeah, go for it. Breezy's going to get me a drink. Do you want some cognac? Oh,, I know you want some cognac guys Jesus Wow You know what I love the occasional Jimi Hendrix mashup the Jay-z Jimi Hendrix mashup of Girl Problems and Voodoo Child.

That is the shit. Well, my favorite mashup was the Grey album. Oh, yeah. Danger Mouse. All-time favorite mashup. Yeah, me too. You know, mashups can be done in such an artistic way that it's fucking cool. What about Bed-Stuy meets Blue Eyes? It depends on how it's done.

That was not bad. Anything with Biggie. I love anything with Biggie I'm such a big Biggie fan see but when I was growing up they weren't called mashups they were just called mixes it was like growing up you would take whatever fucking acapella record they had because it was hard to get acapellas back then

so if a record had an acapella you would fuck with it with however many beats you could find that would match that acapella like I would play Sweetheart by Rain davis and i would find as many fucking beats that would go with that with sweetheart back in the day you know and you would try and change them as much as fast as you could and that was the challenge because you'd have to dig the record out and you didn't have the fucking bpms in front of you there was no sync button it's too susceptible to train wrecking though that's the problem with mashups you know

what i mean you could totally just mash something up and it sounds like shit there's very few people who have a perception of music the way he does it's it's almost creepy like you have like a smell that i don't have i am we played music we played some music and he pulled he goes oh that's there's salt and pepper in there there's salt and pepper there's one and we're like what the fuck are you talking about yeah we had to listen to it like a hundred times and break it down. He's like, stop this spot right here. And we're like, oh yeah, wow! What the fuck? How did you even pick that out, man?

Like if you sampled a snare, I'd probably be able to go, I know where that snare is from. Yeah, he'll call the song. It's really bizarre, man. It's a weird treat. It's still prevailing in music today, even, with even the latest and greatest like electronic music because you hear this one little sample or snare or something like that and it's off another dude's shit.

Right. You know what I mean? And you know right away. And you can pick it out. So that's like kind of when I stop fucking listening to music, you know, because I find that I'm analyzing. It's like, where did he get that? Right. Or where did he...

Instead of just enjoying it? Because Homeboy wasn't in the back fucking hitting a snare on a mic. You know what I mean? Right. Like they're all... It's just incestual ripping. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, they're all, it's just incestual ripping. You know what I mean? Yeah, it doesn't matter.

As long as, it doesn't, you could rip anything you want. As long as it's good, right? If you have the talent to put together the melodies that are magical and resonate with the planet, that's the talent, right? Right. Whether you rip it off, whether you sample it, can you put together this unique little piece of art that's going to resonate with the world? It doesn't work that way with comedy, does it, Russell P.?

There's a couple of comics who do the collage. The best of shows. It's not their best of. Our business has a different code. Take my wife. You got to come up with your own riffs. Yeah, it's pretty awful. And it's not getting any better out there.

Well, it is. You know what the fuck coming in comes in cycles do you ever write a great joke and then you think there's no way nobody did that absolutely i fucking think of jokes and i'm like so happy with it and then as soon as i get happy with it i go i'm sure some fucking guy said of course well you know i had a i had a bit that it was on one of my cds and i didn't find out until like four years later that ellen degeneres had a bit just like that. I did that in a special I did in 97. I did a joke about

throwing a fucking chocolate bar into a swimming pool or into a toilet or just mashing it up and then yeah. I can't remember the fuck. It was horrible. And then Howie Mandel

was like, you know, I did that, right? I'm like, son of a bitch. And it was worse because Howie did it and Howie and I are friends, and he's Canadian. So it was like, it looks like I stole from my own fucking people. Well, the only thing you don't have to worry about with Howie is he's not going to kick your ass because he won't touch you.

Yeah, it's true. He's terrified of touching people. It's true. So you could be like, what, bitch? What are you going to do? Fucking shake my hand? Just start sneezing. He'll just run away from you, man.

You never have to worry about him kicking your ass. He won't even shake your hand. Have we talked about Anonymous on the show yet? What if him and Howie Manville met up? It's like watching you DJ right now. How dare you? I think that's cool. Keep that on. How dare you? What are you talking about, Joe?

We love Anonymous. We love 4chan. We love everyone. What's Anonymous? I'm just writing this shit so they don't take my website down. He's an English historian. Fuck. Yeah.

I paid a lot for that dot com. I need to see it get a ticket down. Hey, digital mafia rules. Well, it's mostly like young hacker kids, right? I mean, what is anonymous? I like what you said. Anonymous is about like

fucking 12 dudes. Exactly. Exactly. They've done some crazy shit lately. I've been reading that you're anon news and I'm like done some crazy shit lately. I've been reading that. You're on Aynon News. And I'm like reading some historical shit.

I'm like, we just knocked down Syria's fucking government website. I'm like, did they really do that? Yeah, they can do that. Are they doing that? Absolutely. Well, this is how it works, man. They're knocking shit down today. This is in real simple terms. Every website is on servers.

And every server can only take so many hits at the same time. Can I just say that i'm excited that bravo's here it's in the house i know it's in the house joe you know what sucks though is that i i really yeah but not like your level i mean i recently got hacked by xbox as a as a guy i'm like you mean on xbox my account on xbox got hacked right and uh what sucks is that that a lot of people are getting hacked on Xbox. And instead of like Sony PlayStation who announced it to everybody, like, hey, we got hacked. Right.

And blah, blah, blah. Xbox is like covering the shit up. And like if you go on Twitter, like I said, I got hacked. And like all these people are like, so did I, so did I, so did I, so did I. And then you go to Kotaku and Joystick and they're like, yeah, that's what they're doing is like in poland people are hacking xboxes and then they're fucking adding all these charges like they're they're getting all these gamer points and then like using ea has for fifi soccer they have like these things that they can exchange uh points for like these game cards like baseball cards or whatever but like there's this whole

thing going on and the crazy thing is is that i told xbox i'm like hey i got hacked and they're making this huge like like i can't go online right now i can't do anything right now and you can't go online no i mean with xbox and but listen to this i told them three days ago i got hacked and they're still getting i'm still getting charges on my my checking account uh people are still charging, charging, charging, charging. And I told Xbox, I'm like, hey, stop. Take my PayPal. Take my Visa.

Take everything off my account. Take my money. And they won't do it. Why? Because they want to research where the money's coming from. So they're using my money. They're using my money

as a research tool. Are they going to reimburse you? I'm sure they will, but they're not going to reimburse all the bills that are bouncing right now. Fuck you, Xbox. Oh, that was a strong statement. And you said it like you ran out of breath, too.

It was like you reached the end of your life. You're really playing on the odds that one out of the ten fucking Anon don't work for fucking Xbox. I know. That's risky. I wouldn't double down on that. You're right. I know. Exactly. There's I wouldn't double down on that. You're right. I know. Exactly.

There's an inside job going on in Xbox. You think so? You think someone inside is jacking people? Come on. That's the deal. Speaking of my ex's box, she's moving out. Oh! Too soon.

Russell Peters, stand-up comedian. Here's the beautiful thing about anonymous. I did two shows and I'm drunk. What do you want from me? My ex's box. Beautiful. I love it. I wouldn't want nothing else. The beautiful thing about- did two shows and i'm drunk what do you want my ex's box i love it i would want nothing else the beautiful thing you're perfect don't change the beautiful thing about anonymous is that everything's anonymous it's just like fight club there's

people working at this kid's gonna get arrested what are we supposed to not the fucking talk about occasionally occasionally people are gonna get arrested the beauty of anonymous is what it represents is the future of government that's what it represents exactly the government is gonna be awesome the government is going to be what? Ten dudes fucking who really know security. Oh, that's great because I know ten dudes who are really into politics. That's not what I'm saying. Now listen to what I'm saying.

It represents the will of the people. When they're doing something, when they're taking down a government website because of the National Defense Authorization Act, what they're doing is they're essentially making a stand for the people. They're saying, listen, the internet does not like this. And when the internet gets behind it, and then you see bills like SOPA get taken down, you go,

oh, whoa, the internet has a say. The internet has a say. And there's people that are extremists on the internet, and that's what Anonymous is. They're the craziest soldiers at the front of the line that are willing to do nutty shit, like take down the CIA website. They don't necessarily... It doesn't have to be. It could be three. It doesn't matter. What they represent at the front of the line that are willing to do nutty shit like take down the CIA website. Is it 100,000 people? It doesn't have to be.

It could be three. It doesn't matter. What they represent as anonymous individuals are the will of the entire group on the internet. They don't do shit that people hate. Anonymous is never doing shit that people are really mad at. No. Have you ever noticed?

They get creepy and they call themselves anonymous and they'll put people's personal information online. That's some douchebags. But the reality of the ethics behind the group is that they're trying to take down corruption. They're trying to step in and stop shit. They're trying to pick up where WikiLeaks got tripped up because there was a public figure. Right. But at what point do you think that, you know, they'll kind of curb that as not to become the dictators themselves who is they

that's the issue the issue is who is they as long as fine as long as there's no true organization and it really does represent the people then it'll be the internet will be truly democratic so yes and yes and no you're saying they may become evil right now they're doing everything for the people right right right and then all of a sudden, okay, so fine. So let's take Anon, right? And let's put him in power. No, well, no one's saying that. The idea is that no one's in power.

The idea is we've got to get to a certain point in time where we realize this is a global government. I think we should have Anonymous as power. We should have the internet be power. We should have voting online. We should have everything. The internet is like global. Anonymous is. Yeah, okay, let's have voting online so it only takes like three or four fucking dudes to go and change a ballot.

I get that. I get that. Well, that's true, but who are those three or four dudes? We've got to eliminate the fact that there can't ever be three or four dudes that have access to anything. We have to kill those three dudes. That's what we have to do. There can never be three or four dudes that have access to anything. It has to be all transparent.

Once it becomes transparent, then you can't steal. Then you can't lie. Then it'd be really simple. Internet 2.0, right? You know what it is, man? We're all moving into a certain direction where there's going to be no secrets. It's really clear.

The geek shall inherit the earth. Yeah. The information is going to take over. And all your ideas about wanting to have privacy, all that bullshit's going to go bye-bye, son. That's going to be great and all, but who's watching the information? There's going to be no one watching it, man. Everyone's going to have privacy, all that bullshit's going to go bye-bye, son. There's going to be no privacy. Who's watching the information? There's going to be no one watching it, man.

Everyone's going to have access to it. Ultimately, it'll be complete and total transparency. Cheers, buddy. I don't know if that's good, but it's coming. It's all mouse. What? It's all mouse. Fuck that.

Fuck that. Are you kidding, dude? What's that? I can't take that kind of responsibility. Does anybody call you D-Measy? Dead Mizzle Fizzle? Not D-Measy? D-Measy?

No. I like D-Measy. That's a new one. Eddie's got a new pet name for you. If you get drunk enough to give me your phone number, that's what's going to be on his phone. I'm drunk enough. Remember D-Measy? No, I'm kidding.

No, no, no. What did we have? We had a shot of Crown, a shot of Armenian Special 99, and then Cognac. I'm sorry, what did you say? I don't think my mic's on. Yeah, it's sounding weird. It sounds weird. We cut you out.

Sorry, dude. No, it's on. It's on. Here's the deal, though. You muted me. No, I didn't. Is that what it is? Red band hammer.

I think Red Band just started a brown band. A brown band. Do you get it? Is this thing on? Are you farting? Is this thing on? Are you a conspiracy theorist at all? Me?

Fucking totally. D-Measy? No, D-Measy. Oh, me? A conspiracy theorist. Not really? No, not really. You are? I'll buy into this and that, but no.

Not all of it. Not 100%, but a lot of it. All of it. You've got to be into all of it or none of it. I question a lot of things. Like what? Namely? The moon landing.

I don't fucking trust one single bit. Are you serious? Yeah. Not one bit do I trust that moon landing. Because? Because I met, I think i said this once before on one of the wait wait wait wait wait well no no no hold on did you see hold on emotionally upset neil armstrong god stop right there yeah but if you the only way this is gonna work

the only way it's gonna work is if you're saying we were talking about something it's like he's the moon he's not a dj and he got upset i'm like motherfucker you're not a dj here's you put in a mixtape and you got aids i mean oh he hit him with the aids not the aids listen if you here's the thing whenever someone says something as crazy make lemonade if someone says something as crazy as the moon landing didn't happen you gotta let him talk without interrupting with some fucking emotional shit about nero arm You got to let him talk. I have reasons for this now. Because I wanted to believe that we went to the moon because I'm a big nerd for space shit. And I watch all the Hubble footage and all the shit they send out.

And it excites me to think that there's other shit out there. And when you look at the space race, first of all, it was against Russia at that time. And they were trying to beat somebody to somewhere. Right. Right. It was a race. Right. It was exactly a race.

And then I met these two Indian kids after one of my shows in Houston. They were basically rocket scientists. They were studying astrophysicists they were studying the people who studied they were studying those two people they were they were astrophysicists is what they were and and i was and i had a watch on that i had bought because i'm a fucking donkey i not this one but i had a watch on that allegedly the face of the watch was made out of moon rock yeah and it was a limited piece and all kinds of horseshoes must be if it's only fucking from the moon right well it's like a crumb what you get one basically and then they smudged it and whatever anyway so i was like hey uh so have we been to the moon and

this chick was like no reason to lie to me whatsoever right and she was like they said we have and i'm like what does that mean and she goes they said we have and i go well i don't know what that means they said we have accents i go is it possible that we've been to the moon she goes, they said we have. And I go, I don't know what that means. They said we have. I go, is it possible that we've been to the moon? She goes, it's not possible that we've been to the moon. I go, what do you mean it's not possible? She goes, it's impossible to go to the moon because we can't get past the radiation belt. We can't build a suit that will protect humans from that radiation without their skin falling off. With the radiation on the moon.

No, the Van Allen radiation belt between the moon and that 700. I'm no radiation expert. I'm no radiation expert, but I've heard it argued that you never pass through the belt, and in fact, the belt is like a donut, and there's a hole in the center, and if you pass through, you can do that. My number one issue is that

they never did anything to test. They never even sent a chicken into space and see if it comes back alive. No monkeys went into space and then landed. Yeah, the Russians sent a monkey, right? No one knew. There was extreme radiation out there. In fact, there's a thing called Operation Starfish Prime

where they actually detonated a nuclear bomb in the magnetosphere because they were trying to punch a hole through it. I don't know what to believe. They made it way more radioactive. They made the Van Allen radiation belts more charged. It doesn't mean they still... If it is a donut shape, apparently you can fly through it.

But I would have liked to have seen someone do it in a monkey or something before they started sending people slingshotting around the fucking moon. There's all that. And then I had my iPhone in my hand. And she goes, your iPhone has more technology than the entire room in NASA did back then. That's true. But that doesn't mean that they couldn't make ample calculations. Even though what your iPhone is doing is interacting with graphic user interfaces.

There's a lot of processing going around. There's signals that's picking up. There's a lot of shit going on with that. They didn't have to do all that. All they had was numbers. Right, well, there was the numbers, so they can physically calculate it. Well, yeah, I mean, because all the equipment

they had during the space launch was the equivalent of that, of like 1 16th of an iPhone, like in the whole facility. Not even that. It wasn't even that. By the way, it doesn't matter. They still could have done it,

because they did do it without people, for sure. Right, no, no. So you know what I'm saying? The calculations are not that different. We can send shit into space. We just can't send humans into space. Well, that's the real question is there's really been no evidence they were able to take biological life into space and return it. There's been no evidence of that.

And there has been evidence that they really absolutely can't predict solar flares and all kinds of crazy shit that happens. Storms flare up. Yeah, they won't report on them than predict them. A lot of people believe that people did land on the moon, but that they faked a lot of the footage. And one of the reasons for that is they did fake a lot of footage at NASA. Like there was some footage from Gemini missions where they were practiced, clearly the same images, exact same images and practice pictures,

you know, where they're like wearing suits and hung by wires. And then they blacked those pictures out. The publicity people did and said, ah, these people won't know any better. You know, it's a time of really extreme ignorance. You know, people didn't have access to information. And so there's photos of Collins and Michael Collins. And he's on this in one of the Gemini missions. He's on this fucking rig and it looks like he's in deep space.

Well, the exact same photo is him on a practice run hanging by wires. It's just they, someone got overzealous and they said, look, here's a perfect picture. Why ruin it? Let's just put it in space. Tell people it was there. It's not like the guy didn't go to space. He absolutely did. Just they might not have been able to take such good fucking pictures up there, you know?

And so they faked a lot of shit. And so that makes the whole thing fuzzy because you look at it and you go something's wrong man something's wrong what the fuck is wrong there's some shit here that's wrong the reason why is i think a bunch of the shit we're looking at probably was taking place in a studio a lot of the photographs are probably horseshit it doesn't mean they didn't go i don't mean like totally like derail and debunk the whole fucking thing? But whether they did or whether they didn't, does it really matter? It does.

It's fascinating. Shit! Shit! It absolutely matters because we want to find out if it's possible to pull off a hoax of that magnitude. You know, if you look about what the United States has been capable of doing as far as getting us into wars, under false pretenses, all the corruption, all the bullshit.

You wonder how far it is possible to take it. We know it's possible to create war. Arguably, that's way crazier than putting someone on the moon. Arguably, letting people, figuring out how to trick a gigantic chunk of people to go into another part of the world and kill people for you seems to be, if you're going to fake that, you're going to fake an operation to get into that, you're going to bullshit your way into that,

it seems like the moon landing, it's like nothing. It's nothing in comparison. Yeah, because you can't prove it. I didn't even see this shit coming when I came here today. See? Honestly, moon landing shit, was it real? Was it not? It was not in the back of my mind.

Yeah, it wasn't in mine. But I forgot that Russell's a moon guy. Look, I've argued with people, and I absolutely don't know. I don't know. I don't believe. Joe, you were totally down for you were the moon hoax crusader. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, listen, man.

Here's my issue. My issue is how can I even argue it? How is it possible that I even have points? Joe. How is it possible that anybody could have any points? Joe, let's go to the moon. You see Breezy right there? He took fucking all his shit in school.

I hope someone did go to the moon. I hope someone did. I really do. I don't know if they didn't, but I do know that it's weird that it's the only time in human history where people have been more than 400 feet above the Earth's surface. No other space shuttle mission, no other space station mission, nothing goes any higher than that. That's it. But they went 260,000 miles out and then returned to Earth.

Man, and they did in 1969 to 1972. A bit of a head fuck. We can't do it now. It's a bit of a head fuck. It's a bit of a head fuck. We can't do it now. Now when they talk about going to the moon, George W. Bush would say, we're going to be back to the moon.

Why don't we do that later? Why don't we just release like a 2K13 edition of going to the moon and back? Well, you know. Why don't you do a remake? They can't do it. First of all, they can't. They say that our technology is much more improved now, so they would have to reinvent. Oh, so it should be fucking easier.

You can't. You would say so. They can't use the Saturn V rockets, though, because that's like an old model. They don't want to just recreate what worked in the 60s. They want to apply modern technology. Oh, and now modern technology is too fucked up to work. Listen, I am playing devil's advocate

to the extreme here. I never pretend to... I don't know what the fuck happened in 1969 to 1972. Hey, I wouldn't mind being the first fucking artist to perform on the moon. It would be pretty dope if we could actually go to the moon if it was safe. You know, I don't know. Let's not do that to the aliens. Have you seen the photos that they had?

That they had a lunar rover orbiter that took photos, whatever the fuck it was. The Mars one? Lunar reconnaissance orbiter. No, they took photos of the moon. And they showed like the little spots where the astronauts were walking. Like their footprints. Yeah, like the footprints. It looks so stupid. It looks so fake. Blown away in 50, 45 years. of the moon and they showed like the little spots where the astronauts were walking like their footprints yeah like the footprints having fucking

blown away in 50 45 years it looks fake as fuck like what the footprints are still there shut up I wish I would remain agnostic to the whole I do too I would think it would be hilarious though if even if we actually did go to the moon if

some overzealous NASA fucking freak said, listen, these hoaxers, we're going to fucking show them. No, they've got to get a nonpartisan. Yeah, a third party. It's got to be a third party. But it can't be a third party because they won't let anybody go anywhere near the moon sites.

They've declared a ban on flyovers of all the moon sites. This is true because they don't want to disturb the area. This is absolutely true. Obama's passed this. Well, the optics today. You is true. Because they don't want to disturb the area. This is absolutely true. Obama's passed this. With optics today and all that shit. What's to prevent someone from taking a picture of that epic landing spot? You can't go there. You can't

fly over and take a picture. Doesn't that seem fucking suspect to you? Doesn't that seem suspect a little bit? It does a little bit. Look, I've argued with it. I've argued with it. I've argued with this guy Phil Plait from BadAstronomy.com and he's a great bit. You know, look, I've argued with it. I don't, I've argued with it. I've argued with this guy, Phil Plate from badastronomy.com

and he's a great guy and I really wish I didn't have to argue with him because I love, I love so much of the shit he says. Like,

I love his speeches. He did a TED talk on asteroids. It was fucking awesome. What did Michio Kaku say about it? Here's the problem with me. They're so proud about it, man.

I didn't talk to him about it. That guy's an idiot. No, he wasn't. How funny is that? How funny greatest i'm scared of a theoretical physicist in the world you guys an idiot that's awesome that was awesome you know um i i think it's my manager fucking guy just a silly argument me right now he's like dude you remember we got the grammys tomorrow at nine i'm like dude i got remember we got the Grammys tomorrow at 9? I'm like, dude, I got it. We good.

Is he in the guy on the couch texting you? Yeah. Fucking guy. He's going to text you while the show's going on? You can actually come over here and fucking tap me on the shoulder. How dare he? But I'm going to text him back. Just tell him to go to sleep.

I'm good. Way to go, Captain Corporate. Thanks, Dean. Isn't it funny? You have some babysitter. I do. You're a grown man. I can't go anywhere without him.

Well, I can. That's ridiculous. I just choose not to. You're skinny grown man. I can't go anywhere without him. Well, I can. That's ridiculous. You're skinny enough to not have to worry about looking puffy in the morning. Right? Why are you worried about this?

Tell that guy to go to sleep. This is ridiculous. Have we sat two hot chicks beside him? Does your manager normally do this? Dean, come here. Come here.

Dean, this is ridiculous behavior. No, Dean, come here right now. That was my manager. I'd be like, you know how to call a cab. The fuck, bro? He doesn't want to come over. You know, Joe, you see that guy Breezy? He's really smart with his fucking space shit.

Dean, come here. Dean, come here. He doesn't want to. Fuck Dean. Dean, come. Unless you want me to drastically negotiate my management contract, I really think it's in your best interest that you come here. Come here.

Dean. Dean. Dean. I think he's pulling an Al from Move on You. Diamond rings. That's this guy right here. Come on. Dean, come on.

Oh, he can talk from there. Dean has an English accent. Did you find him in Liverpool? No, actually, I found him in Kent. Don't call him a Kent. Oh, Dean, you fucking Kent. There's no cooler accent in the world than English. In my opinion, those Guy Ritchie movies.

I really want people to meet Dean. They get the ghetto white people. Do you have that camera? Does that detach off that iPod? I wish that guy Richie made a movie a year. I would be very happy. Do you see that guy on the couch over there on the right? Yeah, I do see him.

Do a night vision. No, just pan it over. He doesn't want to be on, dude. He doesn't want to be on. I don't give a shit. Why are you so into having him on? No more alcohol for dead easy. There he is.

Right there. Right there. Right there. You're like Eddie Van Halen on the Howard Stern Show. You know what Dean says? Dean. Dean, just let this be a lesson to not be texting him and telling him what to do. He says, hey, we got to be out of here at 9 in the morning.

So don't get too wasted. What are you going to do at 9 in the morning? What time are the Grammys? The Grammys are, well, for me, they're at 9 in the morning because I got to go do another run through with the Foo Fighters. Are you doing shit for them? Yeah, but dude, it's only 140. What's the hurry?

I know. I got it. I got it. Yeah, this is ridiculous. When did you get to town? I've been doing this for a while. I know how to hit a space bar. Yeah.

Yeah. I really do. It's not like he's fucking die he knows you know yeah no no it's really cool we're doing this like really crazy cool shit with the foo fighters which is amazing um because they basically gave me like a like uh you know when you go to a hotel and you get like a shit fucking after night like service menu yes or margarita or yeah or something bullshit you know what i mean that's kind of what they offered me you know and uh at the end of the day there was something i really wanted you know and they said

well in order to perform on the grammys you have to perform with someone who's also nominated and all that stuff and uh the food fighters were and i had recently done a remix for the food fighters oh shit this is my saving grace i don't have to like get like pigeonholed with this like edm segregation from the grammys because it almost like it's still early according to you know you know pop culture and united states yeah so It's always going to be that side show thing in a tent outside of the big main show. They were like, who do you want to perform with?

Here's your list of options. It's like the late night room service menu. I don't know what I want. I had done a collaboration with The Fuse in the past. Is that what you call the Foo Fighters? The Fuse a collaboration with The Fuse in the past. The Fuse. Is that what you call the Foo Fighters?

The Fuse? It's The Fuse. Are you like really deep inside in the music world that you can call them The Fuse? What do you mean? The Fuse. When you're really in there, when you're really in, it's like Fuse baby. He really is. Fuse baby. Let me call you.

Can I call you guys Fuse? You were dramatic tonight. You nailed it. Foo's baby. Let me call you. Can I call you guys Foo's? You were dramatic tonight. You nailed it. Yeah, he's definitely top five. You knocked it out of the park. The whole Dave thing was cool. And we had done this really big, long European run where basically rock group is playing across the stage from where I was playing

at the same time. So, of course, Dave's always like, oh, fuck computers and all this, and this is real rock and roll. And they play, and then I'd be playing at the same time so of course dave's always like oh fuck you know computers and all this and this real rock and roll and then you know they play and then i'd be playing at the same time and all this stuff and we've done a minute like you were competing against each other yeah pretty much pretty much for like and how big is this place where you're playing in oh pukal pop was about 160 000 strong okay so there's competing signals so there's like your your sound is coming from one side of the stage and his from the other. Yeah, but it was absolutely amazing and it was such a tear up.

That's crazy. Because the EDM thing and the whole movement. The what thing? EDM, electronic dance music, I guess, what the kids like to call it these days. We used to call it Euro trash back in the day. Right? Well, no, we still do. How did it evolve

in europe what happened there well it started house music started in chicago well they say technically detroit detroit then it moved to chicago germany craft where it got good and then oh craftwork yeah true detroit craftwork was kind of like the groundwork for like for like uh planet rock and all the hip-hop shit and then And then house music started in like around 82, 83 with Steve Silk Hurley. Would you agree with that? Yeah. With Jack Your Body and all that shit.

Okay, okay, okay. Russell Peters dropping knowledge, kid! A little bit. And then in around 1989, 90 is when Europe got a hold of it. And then that's when it started to really take a shit. It's because the white Europeans were like, this is too fucking smooth and mellow. And then they would add the... That's when Acid House and fucking Hip House and all this shit started.

And that's when I was like, what are you doing to this fucking great house music? And then it was like... Fuck, where's my sampler when I need it I have an iPad here you know so much more about music than I could ever hope to it was disco 2.0 it was electronic disco dude I'll tell you what man

every now and then someone will play the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack and I'll go god damn there's some good fucking jams on that track, on that CD, on that whatever. More than a woman. Just some tremendous songs. If you could just put yourself back in the mindset of the people that were alive that day. That was the shit, son.

The fucking BGs, the harmonies that's ever hit. All of that shit. They were singing like Prince. I'm a disco nerd, fool. Come on. You can tell by the way that I use my walk. The way they sang that shit. They were singing like Prince. I'm a disco nerd, fool. Come on. Who was doing that? You can tell by the way that I use my walk. The way they sang that shit. They sang like bitches.

They sang like bitches. Come on. Very good. Yeah. If I can't have you. I mean, that falsetto was amazing. I danced to I Can't Have You. If I Can't Have You in second grade.

Or grade two as we know it That stuff was the shit In second grade I auditioned It might not hold up For the school talent show If I Can't Have You Yvonne Elliman Interesting fact about Yvonne Elliman The first Filipino singer

Really? Wow Singing that That embodies that song That embodies the disco era. And she also sang that song in Jesus Christ Superstar. Oh, wow. Who do you think you are?

No. What was that song that she sang in Jesus Christ Superstar? What the fuck was it called? Damn, I was into metal. I wasn't into that disco shit, man. I've always loved all kinds of that disco shit man I've always loved all kinds of music man I've always loved all kinds of music

I loved disco when I was a kid I was a huge Kiss nerd as well I saw Kiss in 82 on the last tour with makeup and 83 yeah the Creatures of the Night tour and then the first tour without makeup it was the same stage it was the same tank remember i saw kiss this year

for the first time did you really last year i saw him at maple leaf gardens they used the same tank yeah it was the same tank did they blow shit up with the rigging with the bazooka thing one speaker blew out i saw them when i was a little kid and i met ace freely without his makeup when i was like eight years old oh my god And his skin was terrible. I met Gene Simmons in full makeup, like in the whole thing and everything. Poor dude had crazy pockmarks on his face. Oh, yeah. He was bobbing for French fries.

I was like, when I was a kid, my uncle worked for Howard Marks Advertising, which was the company that used to make the album covers for Kiss. In Boston? No, it was in Manhattan. Oh, that's sweet. And yeah, my uncle and his friend. I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah. My uncle and his friend, Dennis. Look at you with the fucking Kiss knowledge. Dude, I used to. I can? No, it was in Manhattan. Oh, that's sweet. And yeah, my uncle and his friend. I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah.

My uncle and his friend, Dennis. Dude, I used to. I can go deep. I can go deep. So my uncle used to make. I checked out after looking up though. They used to make these album covers. They used to make these album covers.

You'll like this, Eddie. Peter Criss and Gene Simmons and all those guys would stop by and I was there with him one day at work. Squirrel, my friend. All right, forget having a conversation. Right. Hey, Joe. You know we're doing a podcast.

Joe's got this. Let's just go. I'm listening, Joe. I think that's amazing. There's no more stories to be told. I think that's awesome. I think that's, like, really a unique story that no one knows. What's the story?

We missed it. Yeah, you missed it. You were talking over me. It's all right. You know, Gene was at the improv a couple of weeks ago with Shannon, and I happened to be on that night. And Gene did a quote from my book that was released in Canada. Oh, really?

Wow, that's cool. And he didn't even fucking know he did it. How the fuck do you do a quote? On stage? No, no, like for the back of the book, it was like, Russell is a very handsome man. I imagine he would be very popular in jail is what the quote was you know i wonder about that sometimes what i'm gonna do when i get in fucking jail

i have no plans on being in jail dead mouse in jail i know but i think no because fucking red band red band over here brought up an interesting fucking point as a matter of fact he said he said dude have you ever seen any prison tattoos? And I'm like, well, no, not really. Like, you know, the fucking pen ink kind of thing. And I thought for a minute, well, wait a minute.

What if I do some dodgy thing that does actually end me up in fucking jail? Am I going to be like someone's bitch? Or am I going to be, oh, dude, that's that mouse. You better hope it's Metro West. Maybe a little of both. Right?

I guess the safe way we'd be going is just don't do anything that would warrant you being in jail. Pay your taxes and don't fuck people over. That's the deal. I can do that. No more rape for you. I might be a bitch in jail.

I don't think you would be, buddy. I think I would be. Like, in general, if I were to get arrested now. If I were to, like, come across the fucking place right now. It's a lot of talking over. And by some... It's a lot of talking over. I'm sorry.

What? There's a lot of drunk going on in this room. No, there's... No, no, no, no. There's a lot of talking over everybody. Yeah. It there's no no no no there's a lot of talking over everybody yeah it's because everybody's drunk that's right no it's a fucking mediator continue sorry i'm sorry continue dude no i'm just saying if i did something like drastically how many how often do you do podcasts you do podcasts i've never this is my first one i'm oh virgin yeah it's just like when you, I know we're all having a conversation. And if we were all hanging out and smoking weed and drinking,

we'd have a conversation. It would be a lot like this. It'd be a clusterfuck between four guys. Less the smoking weed. But we have to, for you, for you, for Eddie and I,

it would be twice as much weed. So we'd balance you out anyway. But we would be able to hear each other talk. That's what you got to do with a podcast. You got to be cognizant that other people are talking at the same time. What? Hey, Joel. Do you want to share this?

Do you know what would be perfect? Have you ever had a – what was your favorite show that you've ever done? We had a bong, man, but we broke it. Do you have a concert? We can fix it. Do you have a concert that is like – do you have a concert that's your most memorable? Do you have something that you always think of? Like, that was the best time I ever had a show.

That was the one show that blew all the others out of the water. You have that? Dude, yeah. I don't because I could say anything right now, and it would only pertain to that group and then that would be gospel. Right. And that's fucked up. But you do have one in your head and you just don't want to say it.

No, I'm thinking right now. Well, you know what? Anytime in Red Rocks, whenever I play at Red Rocks. It's the most amazing place ever, right? Colorado. It absolutely is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Red Rocks.

Do you know what Red Rocks is too? Yeah. It's carved into a side of a mountain. It's like an amphitheater. Dude, you're playing between two fucking mountains. Yeah, it's so dope. It's crazy. And the way that you look at the audience is that because each, like, I don't know how you say it,

like a rung or a stand of where the audience stands, it's like four feet. So you're not looking at, like like this kind of like you know this vanishing point of people you're looking at this wall yeah right you know of fucking just crazy dudes they do comedy there they do comedy and they have movies what percent red rocks no shit red rocks is amazing and there's a high possibility you might see a mountain lion right you know you can't wander off to piss in the woods bro you like jack it's a possibility it's not a good possibility but it's out there what percentage of people at your shows a rough estimate are on ecstasy rough estimate yes 90 90 i want you to consider the manager sleeping on the

couch behind you before you answer this. Your manager's sweating right now. Well, just be honest. Make the corporate choice, son. Don't say anything stupid, son. No, really. CDs might make a comeback. I'd say 30%.

30%? 30%. Hey, Joe. Joe, you know why? You know why? Because 50 of them are on Molly because they know better. It's on the internet. Molly. How did that name come about anyway?

Because it's... I don't know. How did Molly come about? I don't know. I've only been recently hearing about this in the last two years. It's pure ecstasy because usually ecstasy is cut with other bullshit like speed and stuff. What does that have to do with Molly?

I think because it's true in MDMA MDMA methylene and a oxymethyl amphetamine MD I used to think MDMA was like made in a laboratory site like like ecstasy had to be like some Scientific chemical bullshit. I always thought that until a month ago. I saw a documentary on ecstasy and MDMA the pure form. It's just like Coke, where Coke all comes from South America. All ecstasy comes from the roots of these rare trees in Cambodia.

Oh, I've watched that. It all comes from Cambodia. Yeah, that's a fact. That was on. Are you serious? So I'm supposed to take you seriously. I'm supposed to take you seriously I'm supposed to take you seriously when you come to

a fucking concert to appreciate music and craft and art and all that stuff if you're like on these mind altering substances come on man

well it's not that you're supposed to be taking them seriously but it is kind of fascinating that if you ever see current

current TV they have or Vanguard that's the name of the show there's a I think it's on True TV or one of those TV networks.

Obscure Cable Network. And they spend a lot of time in the woods where these people are like. There's a lot of serious crime going on because people are cutting down these trees. Yeah, it's amazing. There's a big problem. Yes. They find these ecstasy labs out in the woods. And they go in with guns.

And it's crazy. The military comes in. It's really nuts, man. It's just like Peru. It's just like Colombia. Whoever knew? I didn't know this shit. I didn't know either.

I thought it was the same thing that you thought. I thought it was some shit made in a lab. Is this something generally accepted that should go hand-in-hand with electronic music, man? No, no. I don't listen, man. I think you're taking it really personal. I don't think it has to.

No, I don't know. We're just tripping out on think it has to we're just tripping out on what it is we're just tripping out on what it is that you do actually see that you're right in the same frequency of trans music let me jump in there for you there mouse that's very crazy hold on the music that he makes is actually and i'm a fucking cynic and a big ass critic. No shit. But his music is actually not on that level of E because it's actually mellow, smooth house to me. Like him and Cascades. I may not appreciate them as DJs per se, but as artists, I go, fuck, yeah, that shit is dope. You know, having said that, I'm not a fucking crusader. I'm not tailoring my shit.

But I'm saying the shit you make is not shit that people need to be high for. No, not at all. Listen, I'm going to fucking level with all of you right now. I've never done a heart drug in my life. You've never done a heart drug ever? No. Like mushrooms? You've never done mushrooms?

No. Have you done... Oh, dude, name it off. I can tell you. Salvia, acid, nothing. I might have smoked a bit of pot when i was a fucking kid just for i really i'm same way i tried weed and didn't like it and that was it for me that was all i needed dude honestly you smoked me right now i guarantee you i will be

in the fucking bathroom shaking and every time that fucking door opens he's either gonna be a cop or my mom wow or your mom as a cop or my mom that's cool that's kind of cool it's kind of cool but I also almost want to get it like a sex change and and just so I could spoon you comfort you and take you into the desert. I want you to have a beer. We'll take you to the desert. You know what I mean, Joe? You know what I mean, Joe? Take you to the desert. That's hilarious, man.

No, you know what I mean, though, Joe. You're so silly. I want to comfort him. But no one on the planet besides you would have explained it that way. I want to have a sex change, and I want to spoon with you and do mushrooms with you. No, I just want to hold him. I just want to nurse him into mushrooms. That dude needs mushrooms. Nurse him into mushrooms.

That dude needs mushrooms. He needs mushrooms. He needs ecstasy. He needs marijuana. He needs something. I bet you if he does that though, the Grammys would blow up. They would fucking bleed on the couch at the spot when they're in the bed. I don't know that. You don't think that? But I know he'd be easier to talk to.

No, I think what he does is the most amazing shit ever in the whole entire world, and I can't even believe he doesn't fucking. Wait a minute. More than heart surgery? No, I really appreciate musicians. I know you do. No matter who it is. I appreciate him as a musician for sure.

I appreciate him. And I've listened to him a million times. The first time I met Veronica Ricci, I made this whole video because we went to an orchard. An orchid? What was that? An orange grove. We went to an orange grove, and I made a video, and I picked out Deadmau5's song to put as the soundtrack because I think that is an amazing song

and I met somebody amazing and I put the song with that. I feel like I'm in a special moment of your life right now. No, no, no, no. I feel like I'm here witnessing a special moment. As gay as it sounds,

as gay as it sounds, that's what I like. Does it sound gay at all? It sounds the opposite of gay. No, no, the music. Music to me is so insane to me. Hold on. Is it sensual?

Music is one of the most important things in life is what I'm saying. And I think it's amazing meeting somebody that I listen to and I fucking have had emotions with. I've fucking had trips with. I've had fucking really cool evenings with listening to somebody I don't even know.

And I get to meet the person and design that. I think that's crazy. It's all real to me, damn it. Suck his dick. Come on. It's all real to me. Yeah, have Suck his dick, come on. It's all real to me. Yeah, have it, brother, have it.

All right. I'm sorry. I'm glad you're back, Brian. Have you done the preemptive flush on a piss? Preemptive flush? Preemptive flush. When you're like, do you flush empty and say,

you've got it, and you're like, I got this. And then you like time it so that you hit the fucking flusher. Right as it is, but then you piss a little in that clean water. Not quite there yet. And it goes.

You've got to remind yourself. You should piss again. Or you should flush again. You want to flush and you're like, no, wait, bro. You know you're probably going to go another 30 seconds. Wait. No, I don't wait. You've got to, like, train yourself.

It's a weird obsession to want to, like, piss into clean water. That's awkward. I hate when I finish taking a shit and I cleaned up and then I flush and then I gotta piss again right after. What is that? That's weird. What is my dick not coordinating with my ass? There's no communication down there, bro.

Which is also a good thing, on a side note. Russell Peters dropping bombs, bitches! You thought this show was getting boring. You thought the conflict would steer us off the tracks and into the woods. We've all determined that you need some sort of psychedelics, young man. You're a very nice guy, but you definitely need something.

Weed, pot, something. Someone needs to sit you down. I don't think he needs anything because he's doing it right. I'm a clean guy. I don't know. Just calm you down. I'm an alcohol guy. That's me.

Give you a little perspective. I think he's doing everything right right now. Well, don't fuck up something that's good. Well, absolutely, as far as his art, yeah. Wait till he's fucking 70 or 80 and then do mushrooms. 70 or 80 and then do mushrooms. I don't well absolutely as far as his art. Yeah wait till he's fucking 70 or 80 and then do mushrooms 70 or 80 And it do mushrooms. I don't know what you do In accordance to law right now if I were to do some crazy shit, right? I'm easily susceptible just getting deported Oh, right, cuz you're Canadian. That's the Canadian thing in us

That's so true. He's even nervous about the OG cushion. That is so true. God, get that away from me. I was baffled. I was like, this doesn't make any sense. No, I don't think that's what it is, man. No, I can't do it.

I think he just hasn't had that many positive experiences, and he's a very positive person, and he's ambitious. And he's obviously, to go from where you started doing that kind of music, and then four years later, you're filling the Rogers Center. You have to be ambitious. There's no way around it. Well, yeah. And I guess if you're talking in terms of fucking doing shit, then fine.

If I start fucking smoking weed and all that shit right now, are you kidding me, dude? Like, I'm just so preoccupied with fucking this, that, and the other thing. I know. I understand that. But you're drinking. That's what doesn't make any sense. You're altering your state.

You're altering your state. I know, but it's a different alteration. Yeah, it's the shittier one. It's the difference between a hem and a cuff. It's the shittier one. It's the one that benefits you least. It's the one that gives you the most blackouts. It allows you to relax your standards.

It allows you to let your ego fly. allows you to come out there's so many weeks that weed doesn't work on let your ego fly come at me bro absolutely it's true there's definitely people that is absolutely true joe weed didn't work for me i i prefer alcohol are you kidding so like a drinking off and i'm gonna call you both i believe you but who'd you get high with it wasn't even who i got high with it's i it's just the few times i tried it every time i tried it I did not like the way I feel. Did you get paranoid?

Not even paranoid. I got bored. And I've got ADD, so it didn't fucking help me. There's absolutely two different kinds of weed, though. Do you know that?

Most of the people, what most people get is called indica. And what indica is is couch weed. It makes you really sleepy and tired. There's another thing

called sativa, South American weed, like South Pacific stuff. That's like, it's from the, you know, different parts of the world. And it's way different. It's a completely different experience. That's like, it's from the, you know, it's in different parts of the world, and it's way different.

It's a completely different experience. Saltiva Denorium. No, no, I think he's thinking of Salvia Denorium. Oh. Yeah, this is Sativa. Sativa's a different type of marijuana. Yes, it's a different type. It's a much more heady, much more Carl Sagan,

much more staring at fucking documentaries on Sativa, right? Much more like, you know what I'm saying? I do that sober. Most people don't know that. I know you do. I know you do. But there is two totally different effects. Eddie likes it all.

He doesn't give a fuck. I think it's all good. I agree with Eddie. I saw Demoria and I went, wait a minute. I agree with Eddie. I agree with Eddie as well, especially once you're a seasoned smoker. No, no, no, no. It's not the same shit.

No, it's definitely not the same shit. You didn't start smoking until late though, right? Yeah. I don't think it is, man. I don't think it has the same effect. You think it has the same effect? Dude, I used to really think that sativa controlled your appetite and indica. You got the munchies and all that shit.

I think it's whatever you think it is. That's what I think. Whoa. Yeah. That's crazy. I kind of see that because i've been doing a lot of hybrids lately you guys are what's known as stoners no no but i've been doing a lot of hybrids lately and then this one time i was doing a hybrid and then i was like this is the best way the perfect blend of both and then i'm like oh wait this is indica on the bottle this whole time i've been doing indica so it's like i'm almost like all right is this like fucking alpha brain i'm like like what you know like what am i doing here is it a placebo yeah yeah yeah i think you're all crazy maybe you're smoking airborne maybe maybe this motherfucker

smokes too much weed and it's just really done good for me so the the first time i fucking smoked pot was up stage a uh radio show that was actually being syndicated to 109. Energy. Energy. Is that a Toronto station? Yeah, it is a total Toronto station. It was actually a Burlington station. Do you remember the Daily Planet?

No. From Niagara Falls? Oh, it was that kind of thing. See, you're from St. Catherine, so you've got a different... No, Niagara Falls. You're from Niagara Falls? Yeah.

Slow down, Hammer, slow down. Do you like waterfalls? Are you guys like gang members? So we had this radio show, and there was a guy there, a DJ, Just Nice, and he would come in and we would do... Just Nice. Yeah, Just Nice. And dudes would show up with these AMP bag full of fucking weed.

I like the fact that you said an AMP bag. You know what would make me happier if you said a Food City bag? You guys are so regional right now. It's crazy. I swear to God, I was about 18, 19 years old. How old are you now? I'm 31. Easy, slow down.

What up, midlife? These kids, 31. So they would smoke this one fucking joint. And the first time I actually smoked a proper fucking blunt. I shit you not. It was to this rap song. And I don't know what it was But I know the lyric Because I was so stoned

And I kept hearing The same lyric Over and over and over again What was it? It was like I don't want something I don't want to chill I just want to see my head

Up on a hundred dollar bill What is that? I don't want to ill I just want to chill And rest my head Up on a hundred dollar bill Dude that line Will haunt me

For the rest of my fucking days And the Bulldogs. Blunts are a different experience because you've got tobacco in there. Ironically, a friend of mine, also from Boston, Ed O.G. Blunts are a different experience because you have nicotine. I probably have that on my phone right now. Honestly, when I was up on top of this

computer store, recording this fucking show, dude, I was passed out, staring at the ceiling and hearing the same lyric over and over again and every time the door yeah that's the one it was just playing over and over and over in the head and every time that the security thing went off at the door that opened up like i said it was either a cop or my mom or my mom dressed up as a cop you need a sample that make a new song it was fucked come on it my mom, or my mom dressed up as a cop. You need to sample that and make a new song.

It was fucked. Come on, it's perfect. So that's when I decided, you know what? Not for everyone. That sounds like a scene in a Stanley Kubrick movie. You need to grab that shit and sample it. Your mom dressed up like a cop. I got Jazzy Jeff juggling it before the fucking chorus comes in.

So hold on a sec. on his act. Can we do this? You know the ironic part is Jazzy Jeff is juggling it back and forth. That's a very specific accent. I would say that's a Philadelphia accent. Can you play that? Is that legal? Is that a Philadelphia accent? No, it's Boston. Is it really?

That's interesting. Boston and Philadelphia are interesting. Oh, you're fade out. Joe, you're from fucking Boston. You don't like that, do you? Yeah, it doesn't. It sounds like Philadelphia to me. But Boston black is very different than Boston white.

There's different accents. Like there's a lot of the that didn't get inherited by the Boston black community. Like guys like Patrice O'Neill was a black guy. Yeah, very much. A brilliant comedian from Boston who didn't have the Boston accent. No, Patrice and I. Weston! Patrice and I used to say the fucking dumbest shit to each other.

I remember we were in Scotland in 2000, and he had this girlfriend at the time who was from Liverpool. And we were walking, and everything was fucking uphill in Scotland, in Edinburgh. And she was complaining about walking and goes, Bitch, don't act like you're too fucking high post to be walking up and down. And I just thought it was the funniest shit because... She said that in Edinburgh? He called her high post. In Edinburgh.

Yeah, and I was like... Were you at the Cabaret fucking Voltaire or what? We were at the Edinburgh Comedy Festival. Oh, shit. And I just remember thinking. Was it by the castle? It was by the castle. We were on North Castle Street.

Okay, okay, okay. And I would just, even years later, I would say to him, I'd go, hey, you acting all fucking high post? Because there was a song called High Post at that time, too. Post High. When was this? It didn Post at that time, too. Post High. When was this? It didn't take off. Patrice has such an awesome way of phrasing shit. I'm banned from a place on fucking Castle.

Are you? The Cabaret Voltaire. What did you do to them? Well, I didn't do anything. I was testing the integrity of a bottle outside of the nightclub, basically kicking it against a curb, seeing how much it would take to smash. And so it's funny,

because I was playing... That sounds like the official statement. I was playing at the club that night, and then we stopped or whatever, and I'm outside having a cigarette, and I'm like kind of edging a bottle on the fucking thing, because everyone's like smashing bottles. It's fucking Ed, bro. So I'm going

crazy, fucking whatever. And I start kind of back kicking this fucking bottle on the thing. And all the security guys are watching me waiting for the fucking thing to break because they knew as soon as it breaks, they had grounds to fucking kick me out. Right.

Then you had a weapon. Or something. Well, then they had evidence that you're a douchebag. Yeah, right. Smashing bottles. So I finally broke it and then they all came out and they said, okay, listen, here's your shit. Here's your whatever.

You're not welcome here anymore, and we're banning you. But it was really funny because it was like totally secret and man a moment where they were like, we are banishing you. You are banished. You're banished. You're like totally banished from this nightclub. And I'm like, okay. All right. That's cool. Yeah, yeah. Fine. fine whatever just give me my jacket i'll go did you offer to buy a new bottle and it was funny because i really didn't put up a fight at all i was just like well hold on a second

man if you were running a club would you want some guy breaking bottles out well yeah exactly exactly that's why i played along and i'm like like, okay, you know what? I know what I did was stupid and douchey and I accept the banishment and I'll take it and I'll go. And they were like, okay, just so you know, you're banned. I'm like, okay. Give me my jacket. And so they gave me

my jacket and they started to kind of walk me out of that little front row post. And they were like, just so you know, you're banned. I'm like, yeah, I get it. I'm banned. I'm banned. I'm i'm never allowed here ever again right is that what you mean by banished they didn't really ban and they were like yes here's your jacket you don't understand you don't understand the magnitude of what we're trying to tell you is that you're never ever ever ever allowed here again i'm like okay yeah and they're like no i like never allowed here again dude it just went on when clubs think that they're way more it was crazy dude and i'm like okay listen if i can get kicked out of a

club in fucking edinburgh and never go back again am i also going to regret this later in life probably not so i just accepted it never know and they really didn't like one day it might be the spot that's right i know you one day you might be out front going, come on, man. I'm sorry. Listen, I know what I've done is wrong. I'll clean up all your bottles tonight. Come on. We'll make a deal.

They pull out a list of bottle breakers. It was really funny. So, like, I'm banished from this club. And I'm outside on this sidewalk, like, across the street. Like, almost at a completely different fucking venue. And they kept having people come out of the place that I was banished from. And they were saying, dude, you are banned. And I'm like, okay.

I get it. That's all right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. No. So wait a minute. Hold on.

They banned you so you went across the street and hovered? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm like waiting for like stragglers to come out. They're essentially trying to get you to get the fuck out of there. Like out of their whole country.

Well, they wanted you to get out of their view. They kicked you out of one club. And then you went across the street and just stared at them. Is that essentially what happened? The stereo room. Stared at them. Stared at them. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I was on my way out. We were ready to get on one of those, what are they called? Brickshaws? Where they got that bike? Oh, so you're just waiting. Yeah. You're waiting for someone to pick you up? Yeah. I was on my way out. Like, we were ready to get on one of those, what are they called? Brickshaws? Where they got that bike guy? Oh, so you're just waiting. Yeah. You're waiting for someone to pick you up? Yeah, I'm just waiting for, you know, management to kind of come up.

Have you ever broken a promise? Why are you still there? And it was so funny because they just made a really, really huge effort to have everyone come out and say, you're banned. You're banned. I guess for them, it's like, as a local scene, it's like a fucking devastating hit, you know? If you're a local band and you can't work anymore. Oh, yeah, that would suck.

That would be devastating. But, I mean, it was a one-shot only thing for me. I mean, how often do you guys... I mean, it's always like small-town shit. That's like being banned from Applebee's. Did that ever happen in a Toronto comedy scene? Guys get banned from certain clubs. Fuck yeah, they do.

I was banned from Niagara Square. Stop bragging. Yeah, let Russell Peters speak for a second, please. In Toronto, in Canada especially, if you work for Yuck Yucks, you're not allowed to perform at any other comedy club. No shit. That happens. There's a few clubs that do that. It's funny because the young comics that I know still in Toronto will call me like, yo, I'm thinking about leaving Yuck Yucks.

I'm going to call them. I'm like, if you're going to leave a bitch, don't fucking tell her you're leaving. Just fucking bounce and let the hooker figure it out on her own. Wow. Russell Peters with some chrome pimp hand type shit. Right. Back knuckle knocking bitches for a loop. Clang!

And I'm referring to corporate world as the bitch. So if you're out of Yuck Yucks, you're out of Yuck Yucks? If you're out of Yuck Yucks, you're working for the outside as they call it. Very hard to do. The banished. Yuck Yucks has good rooms're out of Yuck Yucks, you're working for the outside, as they call it. Very hard to do. The banished. Yuck Yucks has good rooms. They have a bunch of them.

They don't have great rooms, Joe. Here's the problem in Canada. The one in Vancouver was amazing, but they don't have it anymore. Be careful now. Right, that's gone now. This is live. It's a mix now, right? What is it, a comedy mix?

Here's the thing. They were always good to me, but that's because I never really fell for I'm your hoe fucking mentality you know what I mean cause I would leave you let a motherfucker know you know the game right from 95 from 95 I started going to England Russell P show up with a cane got a real limp

let him know son let him know tell him why you mad Joe Barnabas Collins head on it a big silver dragon I started playing outside of Yuck Yucks Got a Barnabas Collins head on it. A big silver dragon. I started playing outside of Yuck Yucks in 95, like in England. And I realized that the rest of the world was there. That I didn't need to fucking focus on Canada like that.

Didn't you really get famous very quickly because of the internet? Because of video clips? Well, not really quickly. I was 15 years in when I got noticed. Oh, were you really? I started in 89. Oh, I didn't know that. I mean, I don't want to say like... I was 15 years in when I got noticed. Oh, were you really? I started in 89. Oh, I didn't know that. In Canada, I was around since 89. Dude, I was like 8. He was probably 8. No, I was 8. It was 8 when I started.

That's amazing. But you became famous as far as my world because of the internet. That is absolutely correct. A bunch of people sending me clips where like, have you heard this Russell Peters guy? And then boom, like YouTube clips. You were one of the internet. That is absolutely correct. A bunch of people sending me clips were like, have you heard this Russell Peters guy? And then boom,

like YouTube clips. Like you were one of the first guys that I know that really blew up because of YouTube clips. That was in 04, late 04

when YouTube just started. And then by the time the end of 05 came, I literally went from making $40,000 a year to in the end of 03, to the end of 04, making half a million. Don't tell us how much money.

No, no, no. But I'm saying like, that's what it went from $40,000 to half a million in a year like that. Okay. Well, let's stop your progress right now and not catch up to today because people are going to get sad. No, no, no. And now I'm broke. And that's why I'm here.

I don't mean sad like that. I mean sad about their own lives. When was the last time you were at the Olive Garden? Let me tell you something. I fucking love the Olive Garden. When were we there last? You fuck. You motherfucker.

When was the last time? Seriously, when was the last time Russell Peters was at the Olive Garden? I can't believe you snuck that in there. November, I was at the Olive Garden. November. In there. In Times Square. Oh, that's the good one, I was at the Olive Garden. In there. In Times Square.

Oh, that's the good one. That's the hot spot Olive Garden. Is that the nation's capital? That's the hot spot Olive Garden. There's lines to get in this Olive Garden. Fuck yeah, there was. It was me, DJ Spinbad, his wife, and his two kids. Did you get in? Did you like, I'm Russell?

We had to. No, fuck, that shit don't work at the Olive Garden, fool. So you got the little thing you put in your pocket that gives the alarms off? I had the CD disc-sized fucking vibrator that they give you. You know what's the worst? It spins in a fucking red light. And it lights up. It lights up.

You know what's the worst? This is the worst thing. True story. That thing, if you go out of bounds, like at the Burbank Olive Garden, it's always an hour and a half to two hour wait. So if you go out of bounds, it starts playing this really embarrassing song and it won't stop so like i would always go to the coaster thing you're talking about right yeah i would go to target and next thing you know it's start playing nursery rhymes but really loud and it's like it's like an ice cream truck in your pocket and everyone's looking at you and it's like it's like

you're that's the alarm yeah i swear to god it's like a way to say hey you're stealing something you're stealing the olive garden's property we're going to annoy everybody around you by this really high-pitched nursery rhyme we're gonna give you i guess i guess as long as it's a song we'll take you 10 that it's torturing you whereas if it was like an alarm that went off like you could probably sue them for that shit like how do i get this to shut off right so they can't like put like some audio that's like stolen property yeah no they play a nice happy song like hey you're out of bounds they should have like an old Italian guy hey what are you doing with my pager i went to uh

i went to the supermarket you son of a bitch i went to the supermarket the other day and as i'm leaving the supermarket the the wheels on my cart lock up. Oh, yeah. It does that shit. They had a certain distance where you could travel away from the store before the cart locked up. But this was so fucking stupid because it was right in front of the store. I do that with my mouse ears that we sell at the shows, actually. You can buy these little headband mouse ears that we sell at the shows actually you can buy these little like kind of headband mouse ears and if you actually walk out 50 feet of you know the venue then you're you shocked

are you serious yeah 50 volts fucking sucks dude the battery in it the battery has like it like you have it so it's set up so the battery does it wait a minute talk talk us through that again what are you what are you talking about the battery oh oh the Wait a minute. Talk us through that again. What are you talking about? The mouse ears that we sell at our shows? And people get shocked by them? Yeah, absolutely. But you sell them? Yeah. I don't understand.

$5. It's like when you go to Star Wars. And you buy the 3D glasses or something like that. They have to return the mouse ears? No, no, no. Well, you can't. Because if you get past the fucking barrier, you're fucked. You're shocked.

You get a little jolt. I'm confused. How many shots? What are they supposed to do? Come back. They're supposed to give them back to you. You haven't explained that. No, I'm joking.

I'm totally taking a piss. You're totally joking. Okay. Sorry. Wow. I didn't mean to lead you on, but I can't believe you took it that fucking far. I tried to help him out. We went off this terrible dark road.

I don't know. We're comics. We analyze it like, okay, this could be real. That actually is kind of badass, though. If you get that kind of Olive Garden technology and incorporate it in your show, and you're leaving a venue with a product that someone has been selling at your show. Anyway, like I was saying,

I was at the supermarket and my fucking wheels locked up. I've had that happen. And so I had two choices. Either I'm going to call someone and tell them, hey, this cart locked up or I caveman this bitch

and just dragged it. I did that. So I dragged it through the parking lot. I dragged the shit out of it. I did it angry, man. That happened to me in Canada at Urban Home Out...

What is it? Home Outfitters? Home Outfitters? Home Outfitters. Yeah. And I had a shitload of shit in their fucking cart, and I parked far enough where I couldn't get... I pushed the cart in the go. So stupid.

The car won't go there. Where the fuck do I have a cart then? And it really pisses me off. We don't have Mexicans in Canada. I can't help it. Two things I never do. Hey, hey, hey. In a good way.

Oh, fuck. The Indians are going to come out. Two things I never do. I never purposely litter. I the union's gonna come out two things i never do i never purposely litter i never litter and i always bring back carts just it's not that fucking hard i don't know about these fucking carts man this is all brand new this is like discovery channel shit for me there's carts that say you can't fucking yeah if you go further than a certain distance they lock up damn the carts will lock Like they literally lock up. It's so stupid. So you have to drag them. Essentially, they're on like this rubber pads

and you just grab it. Is that so wrong? I mean, if I own a supermarket and I own a finite amount of fucking carts and people are just going to be taking those fucking things. Make them go out to the street. Just to the street they ring. If you got them out there, it's obvious. Well, you know, it's like a

cell phone. I'm sure it's like one of those dog things, too. Those dog electrical fences they put up. You gotta look at the value of the fucking cart. The cart probably costs about like $30. How about the value of $7 in China? How about the value of having your customers not have to fucking

drag their food? They don't offer you assistance. They don't offer you like assistance. They don't offer you somebody, okay, sir, the cart will stop here. We will have somebody

help you carry. Oh, the cart stops here, but buddy with the bags will continue on to your car. They'll all be Mexicans. And steal this in a good way. Robots.

Steal this human. Robots before Mexicans. That's my new band. The best thing about the Olive Garden in Burbank is that you... That's the battle. Hey, listen, this is true. Robots, that's the future. Robots before Mexicans. This is my new band. The best thing about the Olive Garden in Burbank is that you... That's the battle. Hey, listen. This is true. Robots, that's the future. Robots before Mexicans. Robots start taking the Mexicans'

jobs. Right when the Mexicans start taking over manufacturing. And the worst part is the robots are programmed by Indians. There's a Mexican Terminator. And the worst part is the rest of America can't differentiate between Indians and Mexicans. You're slogging a ditch. There's a war going on that no one knows about. They're like, these new Mexicans are hairy.

And they're way fucking lazy. And they dance more. Mexicans will start dressing up as robots. The new Mexicans. And they're really into movies. These new Mexican 2.0s are really lazy. This is a new Indian fight league. Some big Indian.

I know where they call them. Red Band. I'm aware of it. I know one of the guys involved. They're going to do an Ultimate Fighter out of there as well. We can't all have conversations at the same time. I'm really excited about this Indian Fight League, actually. It's going to be crazy. I know one of the guys involved. What?

There's a new MMA series starting in India. It's almost like a round-robin type of thing, right? I don't know what it is. It's a new MMA series starting in India. Okay. And it's almost like a round robin type of thing, right? I don't know what it is. I don't know how they're going to... It's a new company. First of all, they got this new thing called... Fuck, it's called like the World Fight League or something.

WFL? They always come up with crazy names for these things. No, but it's like... No, but it's for boxing. One FC? Like boxing... Oh, for boxing? Yeah, it's like a boxing... In India? Yeah, it's like a boxing, like teams.

In Indy? Yeah, it's called Super Fight League. But this is MMA. Yeah, but no, but there's the MMA one, but there's also a Super Fight League where they have- A boxing one? Boxing one where they have teams from different countries that fight. That's not going to work. Exactly.

That's not going to work. I agree, I agree. It's not going to work. It doesn't make any fucking sense because you can't have a solo sport fought as a team. It doesn't make any fucking sense. They tried that. Not with MMA around. MMA around, you know, you can have a new boxing show.

They did it for a while. They had a thing called the IFL. Independent Fight League or something? No, International Fight League. Right. Exotic Fight League. Exotic. Exotic with an I.

IG Sonic. No, but you know what? MMA's getting so big in Asia. Like the big Asian thing is 1FC. It's like Dream from Japan, but in Southeast Asia. It's giant. 1FC. I love Dreams.

I love Pride. Those are my favorites at first. Pride was awesome back in the day, man. I always wanted to go see one of those shows. I really wish the Fertittas didn't fucking smoke it. Well, before it went away, man, we knew Touri. Remember when Touri worked for them? We had. Hey, man. I always wanted to go see one of those shows. I really wish the Fertittas didn't fucking smoke it. Well, before it went away, man, we knew Tourie. Remember when Tourie worked for them? We had a chance, man.

We were going to go to one of those live prides. They fucked up, though. We were coordinating it. Because basically in most countries, organized crime runs the fight leagues. Hey, he just said two minutes. We've got to end this pitch. Well, we can come back again, but we got to stop this one recording. Otherwise, it's going to be corrupt.

When he gets anything over three hours, you put it on iTunes, and it just shits all over itself. So we'll just stop right here. It's like Blaze in the corner there, just fucking sound asleep. Yeah, it's pretty late anyway. Listen, this has been a fantastic podcast. We got drunk together. We learned a lot about each other, right?

Eddie Bravo, any last thing you need to say before we get out of here? Can you give me a drum beat? Okay. Russell Peters. He's going to say boots, cats, boots, cats. Ladies and gentlemen, I just ask you to just not judge us as human beings by this show. Don't judge us. Don't judge

us as personalities or people with the inability to form one coherent group of humans not communicating on top of each other. Just know that it's late and we're tired and we had a bunch to drink. Can I stress how much this podcast meant to me? I drove from Irvine, California. That's fucked up.

I was drunk, so I had Blaze drive my car from Irvine, California to here. And now we're going to go back to Irvine from here. Russell Peters. I wanted to see you, Zimmerman. One of the baddest motherfuckers on the planet. Irvine, California to here. And now we're going to go back to Irvine from here. Russell Peters. I wanted to see you, Zimmerman. One of the baddest motherfuckers on the planet. I wanted to see Eddie Bravo. I wanted to see Joe Rogan.

I wanted to see you, buddy. I wanted to see my little brother, Red Band. I'm always happy to see you. Russell, you're an awesome dude, man. The first time we ever hung out in Vegas, I'm like, this motherfucker, I love him. We had a good time, man. The very first time we hung out, went up to the mix, had a couple cocktails and laughs. We had some beverages. Hit it off fabulously.

And I did not want to freeload off you, so I split the bottles with you. We had a good time, man. It's true. We had a great time. We had fun. What's the next UFC coming up? What do you got coming up? The next one is actually in Japan. Brian's going, hello. Oh, shit. A couple weeks, man. It's going to be nuts, man.

I'm fascinated. Fascinated with what that's going to be like. You ever been? No, I've never been to Japan. But it's a whole other world. Has Danny Glover gotten married yet? Danny Glover? You know what I'm talking about.

Shh. Listen. Look, we're speaking in code right now. We're speaking in code, buddy. Not to anybody. Not to anybody. That's not code. I'll be right back.

That's not code. Everybody knows what you're saying. Nobody knows what we're saying. I have no idea what you're not. Not to anybody. That's not code. I'll be right back. That's not code. Everybody knows what you're saying. Nobody knows what we're saying. I have no idea what you're saying. I want to thank Fleshlight for tuning in. Come on, Riggs. 50% Rogan.net

Go to JoeRogan.net Fleshlight's an excellent piece of masturbation material. I got a bunch of box at home. Next time you come to the house, I'll hook you up. You know what I miss about going to your house? I miss the coconut water. Oh, I got all that shit, man.

Hey, now let me ask you a question before we go. We're almost out of time. See how you have the mouse head and you DJ with it on, right? With the flesh light? No, no, no. On a side note. Dude, we don't have time for this. It's quick.

It's real quick. JoeRogan.net. Thanks to the Fleshlight. Enter in the code. You get a 15% off. Go to Onnit-n-n-i-t makers of alpha brains room tech yeah yeah yada yada yada enter in the code name rogan get yourself 10 off thanks to dead mouse for coming down here and hanging out with us and and exposing all sorts of interesting things about life and eddie Bravo, always my brother. Always good to hang with you.

Russell Peters, thanks for coming. Follow these people on Twitter or not. It's up to you. You're a grown adult, hopefully. My tweets are shit. If you're not an adult, pretend you never heard any of this shit. We'll see you later. Forget you!