The Joe Rogan Experience - #1841 - Brian Redban
Episode Date: July 7, 2022Brian Redban is a comedian, producer, co-host of the podcast and live-streaming YouTube show "Kill Tony," and founder of the Deathsquad podcast network. https://www.deathsquad.tv/ ...
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The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night.
All day.
Kill Tony's the best fucking show in comedy.
It's great.
It is.
You guys have the best show in comedy.
We broke a...
Are we up?
Oh, never mind.
Hold on a second.
I don't want to say this.
We're running?
Yeah, we're running.
Yeah.
No, you have the best show in comedy.
Kill Tony is the best live stand-up show that's ever existed.
It's the best.
It's fun.
It's the best.
Yeah.
And it has such a great, you know, like we learn about new comics in it, you know?
Yeah.
And that's great for all of us, knowing who's good, who's bad, you know?
Think about all the people that came from it.
Hans, William, you know, all these fucking people from the past.
Preacher Lawson. Yeah. You know? I mean, how many guys came from it hans william you know all these fucking people from the past preacher lawson yeah you know i mean how many guys came from kill tony tons right it's fucking it's it's
such a great show dude you guys it's awesome it's so and you guys have it so down now you know like
with the band behind you and like everyone's in sync. It's so good.
Tony is so fucking good at hosting, too.
Yeah.
It's insane.
And he's gotten so much better.
Just in the last couple years, he's so professional now, how he does it.
It used to be where I'd be like, okay, now we have to do ads and stuff like that.
I had to kind of help him.
Now he has it.
No, he's got it down.
But off the cuff, that kid is fucking insane.
It's so good.
It's such a great thing to have for comedy too,
to have like this opportunity for young up and coming people
or even old up and coming people.
You can be old.
You've had a few old people.
Who's the oldest one you've ever had on your show?
Like a guest or?
No, not a guest.
Someone we found?
Yeah, someone doing one minute.
Oh, we've had old, old, old people.
Like on the road, we'll find these guys that did comedy in the 80s,
and they still do it in Jersey somewhere.
Wow.
Yeah, we've had some old people.
I can't really think of anyone off their names or anything.
We've been doing almost 10 years. It's anything off the we've been doing almost 10 years
it's insane how long we've been doing that every single monday sometimes we're doing monday and
then friday two shows saturday two shows when we're on the road it's just insane how many
we've been doing and the show is runs itself now me and tony could literally just me and him
in an ipad go anywhere and like have a show. It's
pretty ridiculous how it works, you know? And does the iPad hook up to the sound system in the club?
Yeah. How do they do that for you? So I have like a studio on the go type thing where I plug
everything plugged into my shit. And so it records each mic on a different like, you know,
sound file. And then i have a splitter that
runs to their house sound so they can turn up and turn down like their own house sound and for me it
just stays the same so oh yeah so it's pretty plug and play it's very plug and play and it's cool
because when we're on the road you know like a place like hey ma'am this is just a hotel banquet
room i don't know what you're how you're going to do this i like, I just need one XLR cable because that's all I need.
I could just plug in using an XLR cable
and control nine different mics.
Oh, wow.
So it's pretty fun.
Fucking technology, son.
So much easier nowadays.
It's so crazy.
Well, also, do people make podcast kits?
Does anybody make a kit?
They do, and I've seen them before.
You go to a website and they'll sell you a do, and I've seen them before. You know, like, you go to a website
and they'll sell you a podcast kit,
and it's just mediocre equipment
and stuff like that. But people ask me all
the time, you know, what you recommend.
And Zoom,
I think you've heard of Zoom before. They make all
the good shit. They have, like, they have these things
where you just plug them right in. It records different
tracks. It even, like, records
so well, like, if you could scream in it, it won't distort.
It's called a float recording.
Dude, there's three million podcasts now.
Yeah.
When we started, how many do you think there was?
In the hundreds, at least.
Like hundreds.
200.
I wonder how many there were.
I don't know.
It's ridiculous.
I wish someone knew.
How many podcasts were available in 2009?
Find that out.
I didn't know.
Adam Curry had that thing.
He had an archive.
That's how it started, right?
So there had to be a list.
Well, he's number one.
Adam Curry is the pod father.
Right.
And then there was all this.
All respect to Adam Curry.
There was all those people, like the tech guys, like Leo Laporte.
Remember that guy on tech TV and shit like that?
That guy is awesome.
I think he still does it too.
Yeah.
And Dvorak, who does it with Adam.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that podcast, Curry's podcast, the first one was like, was it 2004 or something like that?
It was like five years before us, I think.
I think somewhere along those lines.
But like when we started in 2009, what was the number of podcasts?
I bet there's a log of that.
Let's guess.
I don't know.
Give me a real guess.
I would say, I could tell you how many there are currently.
Give me how many they have currently.
Oh my God, it's now 4 million.
Jesus.
Holy shit, dude.
So it jumped up a million.
I wonder though, is this podcast or podcast show?
That's what it's called.
In the last three days, there's been 100,000 episodes published.
Shows published.
I would imagine that that means...
Total podcast in the index, 4,079,717.
Holy fuck.
That's crazy.
Yeah, I would say it was...
4 million is...
Dude, it was just 3 million a couple of months ago, Jamie.
Do you remember?
I mean, it makes it easier.
It wasn't that long ago.
Make it easier to upload. More people, you know, buried entry.
But that's wild, man.
That's wild.
I think there was still, when we started, there was podcasts, though.
There was probably a couple hundred.
Had to be.
Yeah.
Well, there was Adam.
At least.
Adam Carolla, right?
Adam Curry.
Mark Maron, was he doing it?
He was before us.
He was before us, I think, by like at least months, if not a year.
I don't know.
But he was before us.
Who else?
Who else?
Carolla.
Not a lot of other people, man.
Oh, Kevin Smith.
Kevin Smith, that's right.
Kevin Smith always had Smog Castle.
We did that once.
Yeah, we did that at that theater.
That was fun.
Yeah.
Yeah, he had them out before anybody.
He was one of the early, early birds.
Yeah.
But how am I, like, overall?
I wonder if you can go to, like, the internet archive
and just look at podcast rankings
and maybe it would show it there.
I'd be able to look at that same site.
I'm digging through some Adam Curry info to find that original archive he had.
Like 2005 is what I'm reading right now.
It's when that RSS feed thing they gave to Apple to build their database off of.
So that was his first, 2005.
So he was number one.
So it goes from Adam Curry, and there's probably a few other tech guys,
probably got involved around then, started doing some.
And now everything.
Now TV shows, just Kinko's locations, you know, like have podcasts.
I was watching.
Really?
Yeah, I was watching, you know, when you see a movie
and before the movie starts
and before the previews,
they have just like little trivia games,
you know, and they have like a host
and it's like just tons of commercials.
Right.
They go,
and you could join us on our new podcast.
I was like, who is sitting there
that enjoys that part of the movie enough
where they're going to subscribe
to a podcast about that.
You probably don't know what I'm talking about.
I don't.
If you go to a movie early, before the movie trailers comes on,
it's just this generic stuff where it's just a ton of commercials
and people giving you movie trivia.
Like, hi, it's kind of like E! Entertainment Tonight,
but it's just cheesy shit.
But they have a podcast.
How many restaurants and bars have their own podcast?
Exactly.
That must be a thing now, right?
Oh, totally, totally.
There's always probably funny people at bars, right?
It's probably not a bad idea.
You've met people that never did stand-up that were really hilarious, right?
Oh, yeah, tons.
Yeah, absolutely.
Like some guys would be like, God, if I was like a tenth as funny as that guy.
Right, yeah.
The only reason you can have it at a bar
is probably for insurance reasons.
Like, you know, oh, here's proof that they just got drunk
before they killed a bunch of people after this podcast.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Yeah, we all met people that were like really funny
that just never did it.
You know?
Yeah.
You know, Eddie Bravo's doing stand-up now, and I always told him to do stand-up, like, way back in the day.
I'm like, dude, you're funny.
You have funny fucking stories, man.
I remember you tried it once, and something happened, like, he didn't have a good set, and then he stopped for a while.
He had a couple of rough sets.
Right.
But that was before he was teaching
when he started teaching he he got very comfortable like addressing people because he was
doing a lot of seminars so he would fly in and explain jiu jitsu in seminars and one of the
things he would do was tell funny stories so he'd tell funny stories while he is teaching jiu-jitsu.
And he was like, dude, I'm killing in front of my class.
And I started laughing.
Then he started doing it again.
But it was like a nine-year break where he wasn't doing it. At least, maybe nine's wrong, but many years.
I forget how many.
But he's funny, man.
I saw him at the comedy store,
and he was doing the tinfoil hat show with Sam Tripoli.
Right.
I'm like, dude, he's fucking funny.
He's got some funny-ass stories.
He always had funny stories.
I remember about the cranberry juice.
He would give a girl cranberry juice or something like that
because she had a urinary tract.
Anyways, all those stories he would always tell us
about dates he went on and stuff like that.
He had crazy stories. Yeah, they're very funny
But he's just figured out how to do stand-up now. It's interesting to watch, you know, I
Had this guy that I worked for that was a private investigator and he was one of the funniest guys I've ever met
His name is Dave Dolan. I don't know if you ever met him. He died a few years back though
He might have met him one of the times we went back to Boston.
Because I always saw him whenever I was in town.
But he was my employee, my employer when I was 21, when I was just starting to do stand-up.
He needed a driver.
So he put in an ad for a newspaper, wanted a private investigator's assistant.
And I was like, oh oh that'd be a dope job
to do while I'm doing stand-up I'll be a private investigators assistant but it
was really just how to drive him because he lost his license from drinking and
driving dude he was hilarious he was one of the funniest people I ever met
working with him I would come home and there's this girl I was dating and we
would have these conversations about it I was like he's so funny it's like
confusing I'm like why aren't you doing comedy I'm like we were I was crying
laughing all day with this guy sometimes it probably doesn't transfer well though
you know cuz it's he would have you think a hundred percent a hundred
percent 100% he could have 100% been a comedian.
He didn't give a fuck, though. He didn't want to do it.
And he had an in.
His cousin was one of the owners of the Comedy Connection.
It was Bill Downs. Bill Downs and Paul... Fuck. I forgot his last name.
I can't. We've got to edit that part out Paul Barkley I got it I'll say it again
it was Bill Downs and Paul Barkley they were the owners of the comedy connection
and my friend Dave Dolan was cousins with Bill Downs so he had like an in
he could have gone to an open mic he He would have got up. He would have fucking killed.
I wonder why he didn't.
Didn't want to.
He like genuinely didn't give a fuck.
That's one of the reasons why he was so funny.
Like the guy genuinely didn't give a fuck.
He was just a really funny dude.
He was just into having a good time.
That's all he wanted to do.
Have a good time so that's all he wanted to do have a good time i've you know
i've seen on kill tony before people that have tried comedy for the first time and they say you
know all my friends told me that i'm not just a funny guy and uh we had one on recently and it
did not was not funny but because because he told it like as if it was like a joke like a street
joke you know so these two guys you know and it was like a joke like a street joke you know
so these two guys you know and it's like if you could just say what you said but made it like more
real right that's the hard part that's the hard part yeah that's the hard part
this guy uh dave my friend dave when he quit drinking he stayed funny and he quit just quit
like that when i started working for him, he's
like, I got to stop. He crashed his car under a bridge and then ran away from the car.
Oh, God.
So he's under an underpass. And he was like, that was fucking, that was the end of that
one. He's like, I had to let it go, bro. But he just quit.
I think I could easily do that. Simple, I think. Because I think the older I get, now drinking to me, the next day, I'm like, well, this day's ruined.
You know, like my body does not snap back like it used to.
And I think if anything, it's kind of like, yeah, why am I drinking?
Just because I'm at a show?
Because I feel like when I'm at a show, you know, before I go on stage or something, I have to have a drink or two.
But at home, I'm not really.
That's one of the great things about doing Sober October
is that you realize you don't really need anything.
Right.
Like, you don't need to have a drink.
Just go have fun.
Like, you can be completely sober
and have a great time at a show.
It's funny, but, like, alcohol and comedy,
they're, like, they go hand-to-hand.
There's no other like performance thing
that goes better with alcohol than comedy yeah because it loosens you up yeah you know and you're
in a live setting so it's exciting as long as the other people laughing around you you're getting a
little tipsy is there anything else that will loosen you up maybe we just start eating turkey before we go
on stage that's not real that's not real um do you remember um that place in toronto where the
whole crowd was high yeah puff mama's place uh the underground yeah how many underground or whatever
so you go on stage and there's no air in the room you're just breathing weed smoke breathing in
and breathing out weed smoke i can't tell you how high you get in that room it's great it's so
ridiculous they have bongs on people's tables they call it greening out people like like doug
benson greened out he passed out on because because of that and tony hinchcliffe ran off
stage and uh had to take
off his shirt and sit outside on the curb in the middle of winter that's the place where i did that
video with the iron chic oh that's right yeah the iron chic was in the crowd that's crazy that he
was there yeah that was fun if if you wanted to choose, though, between an alcohol and a weed crowd.
Oh, God.
I'm kind of going with alcohol.
Alcohol crowd.
Alcohol crowd for the win, right?
Yeah, because the weed crowd would just be staring at you and getting lost.
Getting super scared.
Yeah.
He's making jokes about me.
Yeah.
But the alcohol crowd sucked, too, especially bar alcohol crowds where people are just rowdy.
Yeah, sometimes people get out of hand.
But that's just part of being a person.
People get out of hand.
Some people are just not that good with alcohol.
It's weird that that's a genetic thing for some folks.
People of different ancestral origins, different parts of the world.
It's interesting how they handle alcohol differently.
Like people from Russia can fucking handle some alcohol, right?
Like notorious for it.
There's like certain Irish can handle some fucking alcohol, right?
But there's some ethnicities that have a difficult issue with it because they don't have
like a long history of exposure to it in their past yeah it's also how much you like when did
you start like burt kreischer i mean that dude should be dead and he just has been drinking so
long for so much every day i think it's just like his body just, ah, I need this to survive.
I wonder what's a good historical account of the effects of alcohol on Native American
tribes. You know, I wonder if there must have been some documentation of that because it's,
I mean, I don't think it's wrong. I think it's one of those things that everybody kind
of knows that when the settlers were making their way across the country and they introduced
native americans to alcohol they didn't have something like that before and they did not
handle it well and i always wonder like if that's a genetic thing that is right is that what they
think like you're but you're like your ancestors had a history of drinking alcohol so you're more
predisposed you're more predisposed to be able to handle it.
Right?
Right.
And that would make sense why a lot of people from the Midwest can drink more.
Because everyone has that Native American in them, right?
10%?
Bro.
No, but I think it would be worse.
No, the thing would be saying that if you had Native American, you don't have a history of alcohol.
Oh.
You're saying the opposite of that.
The opposite of that.
Okay.
So whatever Shane Gillis is.
Right.
There's no fucking way.
What is that?
His ancestors don't have a history of alcohol.
Is he a Florida animal?
Milwaukee?
Does he provide the Milwaukee?
Florida's almost its own country.
Let's be real.
If shit gets weird, Florida could be its own country.
It's pretty crazy.
It could be the wildest country.
It would just be all Leonard Skinner songs.
This is little detailed genetic research has been done on this topic.
But it has been shown that alcoholism tends to run in families with a possible involvement of differences in alcohol metabolism and the genotype of the alcohol metabolizing enzymes.
I can't say those real fast.
Which may be more prevalent in Native Americans
than other ethnic groups,
which is why that has been discussed that way.
Interesting.
According to this.
But they're not sure that a propensity for alcoholism
is transmitted genetically?
So, I mean, it says here even that there's a couple
myths about that that aren't proven.
There is, if I scroll up on this article, it does show like there are a disproportionate number of deaths in alcoholism.
But there could be other reasons for that.
Because it's always been a stereotype, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's always been a stereotype.
You got to always wonder where those come from when it comes
to that i feel like i can handle my alcohol pretty well at least i can drink it you know
like i can non-stop drink it all night and never get to and not get to the point where i'm sick or
puking or anything like that is that good no it's not good it's not good but but i think it's because i just drank my you know my
parents always put chili in the beer growing up you know like oh chili in the beer i mean beer
in the chili you know like anytime yeah like as a kid my dad would always go hey son you want some
beer in your chili and he'd take his old milwaukee or whatever and just pour some yeah that's that
was i think ohio thing how old were you like 10 oh my god you were getting hammered at 10 i just typed best beer chili yeah that's the thing
yeah oh and it was literally the the shitty my dad drank shitty beer and just poured it
poured it right in my chili and i always thought everybody did that dude some shitty beers are
nice sometimes oh yeah paps blue ribbon hell yeah that's nice sometimes sometimes Oh, yeah. Pabst Blue Ribbon. Hell, yeah. That's nice sometimes. Sometimes that's what you want.
It's cold.
It's a very specific taste.
It's like, look, I get it if you're into like IPAs and those real weedy beers.
And those are interesting.
I'll admit, they're interesting.
But also, like a fucking Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Every now and then.
Oh, yeah.
Cold, you know?
Hell, yeah.
I wish we had one right now.
Just a shitty, cheap beer. Maybe you're eating crabs. Frosted glass. Oh, yeah. Cold, you know? Hell, yeah. I wish we had one right now, just a shitty, cheap beer.
Maybe you're eating crabs.
Frosted glass.
Oh, yeah.
You're eating crabs
or something like that,
a nice cold Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Hell, yeah.
That would hit the fucking spot.
I don't really drink beer anymore.
No?
Do you still drink beer?
I stopped drinking.
I do occasionally,
but, you know,
I'm trying to avoid
as many things
that are like,
that have wheat in them.
Gluten stuff.
I just don't think my body reacts to that stuff very well.
It's a big slowdown in my system when I eat bread or when I eat pasta.
And I still love it.
I fucking love it all.
I love pizza.
I love it.
But my body does not react well to it.
Have you got a gluten test before? No.
No, I'm just going by my own
just how it feels for me. I think
everybody's fucking different. And I think
this one size fits all approach to
what you eat is crazy.
For me, it seems like
my body feels at its best when I
eat mostly meat and fruit.
So that's what I eat.
I don't fuck around.
Because when I do fuck around, I always feel like shit.
I agree with that.
Meat is mostly what I eat.
But I eat burgers, you know?
I'm addicted to burgers.
But you get them on the bun.
Yeah.
That's the problem.
It's more delicious on the bun.
It's more delicious.
And In-N-Out with the lettuce wrap is pretty fucking good. That is good. You have to get the double, though. bun yeah that's the problem it's more delicious on the bun it's more delicious and in and out
with the lettuce wrap is pretty fucking good that is good you have to get the double though
it's not as good as with the bun right the bun makes it better the whole thing makes it it makes
it better there's a there's a also there's like i'm eating bread yeah
bread used to just be food when the fuck did bread become bad for you
evil shit you know there's the conspiracy theory that um that it's glyphosate that's
fucking people up that it's not um what see what that is all about because i've heard people talk
about that what is it like i think robert kennedy jr was talking about that who was
talking about glyphosate glyphosate is roundup roundup is that stuff that they spray wow yeah
no that stuff's super bad for you right there's no way there's roundup but they but hold on if
they use it on these plants where does it go do they wash it off like what kind of residual effect does
that stuff have sure on the food you eat or plastics do you imagine if that was
what was going on and that's why I like European people don't look like us oh
yeah more than half the products tech oh shit more than half the products tested
had detectable levels of glyphosate above 10 parts per billion.
45 out of 86 products contained detectable levels of glyphosate.
Ranges were from 12 parts per billion to 1,150 parts per billion.
Organic foods are much less likely to have trace amounts of glyphosate.
However, it is appearing in low levels in some cases.
That's crazy.
Damn, they got you perfect.
That was nice.
The pop-up was the timed pop-ups.
So, yeah.
So there's glyphosate in foods.
It gets trace amounts of glyphosate.
That's insane.
Glyphosate in popular bread oats legumes protein powders
and bars 2022 holy that's everything you have or you see you know you have the protein powers
all that stuff yeah how wild is that because it's like it's a really common chemical that's used
and it's really bad for you and if that's it i mean that i don't i don't know
i mean is there a kind of organic wheat that you know is 100 glyphosate free and if you ate that
would you feel different i bet there is i bet or is these are these trace amounts of glyphosate
that aren't really affecting you like I wish I knew I mean like what
it sounds scary when they're talking about parts per billion but I wish like
a scientist would go as a lot right it's like there's microplastics when I start
reading about microplastics and stuff like that I start freaking out do you
know how much we eat every week yeah it's nuts it's a credit card yeah we eat
a credit card I wish I could remember I credit card. That's craziness. I wish I could remember.
I read someone said that it's not a misinterpretation,
but that's like the highest end it could be is a credit card.
I think when they read into it. So like somebody who eats microwaves.
And they even like the way they got that number was like studying clams
or something like that.
And then did a math problem.
I can't think of the word right now.
To figure out what it would be like in humans
if it was the same size.
Oh.
That's how they got that number.
So there's a little fuckery involved.
A little.
Oh, but I don't know.
But there is some.
A wee bit of fuckery.
It's not untrue,
but it seemed like there was a little bit of a...
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, credit card seems like a lot.
Seems like a whole lot.
And how much stays in your body
and how much do you shit out?
Right. I bet you'd shit a lot. It seems like a whole lot. And how much stays in your body and how much do you shit out?
Right.
I bet you'd shit a lot of it out.
What?
Like 99.9% probably.
But what if you don't?
Yeah.
You don't?
Plastics and stuff in your body.
See, here's like the article.
But like for weirdly, it starts off saying globally we are ingesting an average of five grams.
So it's an average, too.
And that we're just globally.
Right.
Globally.
Like maybe some parts of the world are higher.
Yeah.
Like us.
I think we'd be pretty high.
Yeah.
If you're getting it from like microwaving food with plastic on it, we got to be high as fuck.
Yeah. We've been doing that for a long time.
And plastic forks and there's little plastic containers your food comes in, the to-go boxes.
There's always like little pieces of plastic somewhere, I guarantee you.
Even this article says it's just Australians.
It says Australians ingest a credit card, not everyone.
So I don't know.
But is that an article from Australia?
Well, an Australian analysis says that.
Interesting.
Can you really trust this Australian analysis?
Can't anymore.
Yeah, I'm worried though. Well, I'm worried also because I
had that Dr. Shanna Swan lady
on the podcast who talked about
what plastics
and these chemicals like phthalates
are doing to the reproductive
systems of people?
Did you ever hear about that?
Yeah.
Do you know what this means?
I think I heard about it.
She's got this book called Countdown,
and it's all about what plastics are doing to people's reproductive systems.
Right.
Yeah, my girlfriend is obsessed with that, all that shit,
and she thinks we're dying from it.
Well, we're changing.
We're changing.
This is the,
the problem is it's met.
It's dropped men's sperm counts 50% lower than they were in like the 1950s.
Um,
women have more miscarriages and men's taints are shrinking.
That's a good thing.
No,
no,
no.
Oh, my asshole right next to my dick. Taints are shrinking. That's a good thing. No, no, no.
I want my asshole right next to my dick.
Masturbate, you just put your finger in there.
Pick it up like a bowling ball.
That's bad because the closer the taints are,
it's the more feminizing of the male this is what it is like in mammals
and i'll probably fuck this up my apologies in advance in mammals male taints are between 50 and
100 percent larger than the females so that's one of the best ways that they detect whether or not
a mammal like a like a puppy is a boy or girl the t taint is bigger. But in men, over the last X amount of years,
they've been shrinking.
They've been shrinking steadily,
which is an indication.
Penis sizes are shrinking.
Testicles are shrinking.
Sperm count's dropping like 50% lower.
And at the same time,
this is the introduction of petrochemical products
like plastics and stuff like that.
Eating out of plastic bottles and drinking out of plastic bottles, eating out of plastic plates.
All this stuff has entered into the bloodstreams and they've found in studies in mammals that when they introduce these phthalates to mammals, their offspring are affected.
The reproductive systems are affected.
Wow, shit, dude.
Because it's like, we're doing something weird
to the human organism.
And we're doing it through plastics,
and we're just now finding out about it.
Like we're only finding out about this over the last,
I think, we talked about this, I always forget.
I wanna say it's like 2015, right?
It was not that long ago that they about this. I always forget. I want to say it's like 2015, right? It was not that long ago that they discovered this.
Nuts.
So she wrote this whole book about it.
And she's a really funny lady, too.
She's got like a thing on her Instagram called the Jizz Quiz.
And it's all about, you know, like a quiz on like how much men's sperm counts have dropped over the last 50 years.
And it's like, whew.
So weird.
It's wild because it's just unavoidable.
Like we're just accustomed to consuming a certain amount of plastics
and having plastic chemicals in our body.
How's the connection of that though?
Could it be something else like, you know?
They're really sure that phthalates do that.
Phthalates are some of the chemicals that you get from plastics.
I think some pesticides affect the body in a similar way.
There's a lot of shit that we encounter that fucks with reproductive systems.
When they did it with animal studies,
when they did it, it showed that the males all came out more feminine
and with smaller taints and the whole deal.
And it's all about what kind of chemicals the mother has in her body
when she conceives.
It's wild stuff, man, because the implications are
if we don't stop using them, we're going to change the species over plastic.
Like it'll change what it means to be a male human because it won't be like a male human used to be before plastics.
It's crazy.
If that really imagine if it's like unavoidable you can't get it out of of humans
and it's just gonna keep feminizing males and and turning their taints into smaller and smaller
little patches of land well then finally it doesn't matter you know we could have guys and
girls play the same sports together right one day one day one day maybe that's where we're headed
yeah maybe it's already started well maybe that's where we're headed. Yeah. Maybe it's already
started. Well, maybe that's what this obsession with gender thing is about. Maybe this is all
like a natural process that turns us into that look, that alien look, you know, genderless,
big giant heads and spindly bodies. And you can read minds. I bet that's exactly what's happening.
I know that sounds stupid. I really do. I know it sounds stupid, but maybe that exactly what's happening I know that sounds stupid I really do
I know it sounds stupid
but maybe that's what's happening
can you imagine if that's really what the fucking deal is
that it's just
this is how the animal evolves
like the only way we're going to get past
like all the horrible things we do
like war and murder
and rape and torture and thievery and
deception all the things that humans do that's awful it's all tied to these monkey instincts
we have it's all tied to being an ancient primate species that has evolved to this point the things
that are holding us back are all these biological needs.
You know, the need for food,
the greed and fucking envy and, you know, rage.
Those are all emotions.
If we could just get rid of those,
that would be nice.
Now, you see super genius people
that are not very emotional.
What if that is like a move
towards a new kind of human being? What if all this stuff is a move towards a new kind of human being?
What if all this stuff is a move towards a new type?
And then while this is all happening, they inject technology into your body.
There's a neural link or something along those lines.
And you can fucking move things with your mind now.
You don't even need arms.
It's probably where we're going.
It's probably not that far away either like 100 years 200 years i'm more concerned about that artificial intelligence that google guy that quit
uh or got fired have you heard about this yes oh you already talked about it yes probably no yeah
i know i talked about it with a guy who understands these things yesterday, Mark Andreessen.
And it's really interesting because I'm too dumb to really know.
I mean, I'm not very informed about how these things work, what these programs work.
But what he was saying that made a lot of sense, he goes, this thing is using Google.
And it's literally using all of the interactions with human beings
and it knows responses to like a fucking insane number of questions. So it can use this program
to communicate with you. And if you ask it to convince you that it's alive, it can figure out
how to get the words together. But if you asked it to convince you that it's alive it can figure out how to get the words together but if you asked
it to convince you that it's not alive it would also figure out a way to form that but that alone
is like what a human can do it could either you know after that's the problem the problem is i
think we're waiting for like an energy that propels it like us like a soul right because if it already has all of
What are like most people's lives?
You're interacting with people you're learning from these interactions you read about things and inspire you to be better
Maybe you watch a documentary about someone that's really really cool and inspires you to be better
And you're learning about what it means to be a person. Well, if they can just
do that and just download it off the
internet instantaneously and
become infinitely smarter than you'll ever be,
the only thing that's missing is like a soul.
Like a thing that makes them act.
That's why they're going to find
out mixing technology with
that and like a frog or something
that has a soul. Something that's stupid
like, you know, well that frog that has a soul, something that's stupid. Like, you know, well, that frog probably has a soul.
But we can use that soul, upgrade the soul, put it into a robot.
Oh, my God.
Imagine if they start extracting souls.
Yeah, from frogs.
From frogs.
Look at this.
Google engineer Blake.
How do you say that?
Lemoyne.
Lemoyne.
Lemoyne is a priest and Christian mystic.
Well, now I believe him more.
All of his claims about sentience, personhood, and rights,
Blake Lemoyne wrote on Twitter on Saturday,
are rooted in religious convictions as a priest.
His arguments, therefore, pre-theoretic, he says.
His arguments, therefore, pre-theoretic, he says.
In a previous Medium post about the question of religious discrimination at Google,
Lemoyne describes himself as a Christian mystic.
He also notes his sincerely held religious beliefs in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.
That sounds like a guy who's done mushrooms.
Right?
That's what it sounds like.
Probably has.
Probably microdoses.
Why does that work?
Definitely.
He's a Christian mysticism as a sense of some form of contact with the divine or transcendent.
A union with God is not so much a doctrine as a method of thought.
Okay.
Why is that so weird? I mean, that's just as weird as all the religious just as weird as being a Mormon I don't give
a fuck yeah whatever hat makes you happy you know but if he's right he's working
with what is this a chibi chibi keeps coming with the facts he became ordained
as a Christian mystic, a Christian priest,
and served in the U.S. Army before studying the occult
and is an outlier at Google for being religious from the South
and standing up for psychology as a respectable science.
What does that mean?
That was according to the Washington Post write-up about him.
But what does that mean? That was according to the Washington Post write-up about him. But what does that mean?
What does that mean for standing up for psychology as a respectable science?
What does that have to do with anything?
He's labeled an outlier at Google for that reason, which is in quotes,
and that might be what he said.
It's not saying who said that quote.
But isn't it a weird quote?
Because they're saying he's an outlier, but then they're, listen
to the quote, for being religious from
the South and standing up for
psychology as a respectable science.
Yeah, what's that even mean? What does that mean?
What does that have to do with him
coming out about AI?
Does that have anything to do with it?
They're attacking his beliefs.
Well, it's a weird belief.
Well, I guess they're saying that someone, so that's his quotes.
That's what they're saying.
That he was saying that he was standing up for psychology as a respectable science.
But what the fuck does that have to do with AI?
Am I missing something?
It was in his capacity as a priest, therefore not a scientist, that he concluded that LAMDA was a sentient being.
He said, I know a person when I talk to it.
Lemoyne told the Post, it doesn't matter whether they have a brain made of meat in their head or if they have a billion lines of code.
I talk to them and I hear what they have to say.
And that is how I decide what is and isn't a person.
Oh, my God.
So, yeah, he's just a
religious nut that thinks it's alive you know he got tricked yeah but what does it mean to be alive
right we have so much value we place on something being alive yeah isn't that interesting i mean
it's fucking interesting it's the soul thing's fucking interesting. It's the soul thing, though.
Yeah.
The soul thing is wild.
And if you think about it, I think any living creature, bugs, mice, rats, frogs, all have souls.
Do they think that, though?
Like, when people are really nutty with the soul thing, do they think crickets have souls?
I think so.
I think any living thing has a soul, even trees.
Do you kill crickets?
I don't try to, but I don't give a shit if I do.
I always try not to kill them.
Crickets?
It's the only bug that's in my house that doesn't get whooped.
If you catch a roach in your house, he's dead, right?
Yeah.
100%.
Spider, most likely dead.
I've been bitten by spiders.
Fuck flies.
Fuck off flies.
I hate all flies. flies flies can eat shit
I don't die. Yeah, it's not everybody dies, but crickets you gotta catch them and throw them outside
Why I don't know that is kind of weird. Why I don't know man. Don't you feel like that?
I don't know. I don't know why I have no animosity towards cricket locust. I feel bad for them
I want to get him outside. That's how I feel about those little June bugs or whatever.
I feel like they're special need bugs because they're always flying around and falling on the ground.
What about the little clear ones that are creepy as all hell?
I think there's bugs that choose to be invaders.
And then there's bugs that accidentally get in your house.
And a cricket kind of accidentally gets in your house.
Grasshoppers too?
Yeah, they accidentally get in your house.
I let them go too.
But the ones that are trying to live in your house can eathoppers too? Yeah, they accidentally get in your house. I let them go too. But the ones that
are trying to live
in your house
can eat shit.
Fuck off.
Crickets are like
food for lizards
and chameleon.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean,
that's how their life is.
They're everywhere.
Yeah, I don't want them
to go everywhere.
The thing about
grasshoppers,
this is one of the things
I found out
when I was reading about locusts. Do you know grasshoppers, this is one of the things I found out when I was reading about locusts.
Do you know grasshoppers and locusts are kind of the same thing?
And that a locust is like a transition.
The grasshopper will become a locust.
I think it's a population thing with a temperature thing.
I think it's like when you let a hog out, it becomes feral.
Is that what it is?
It's probably not exactly the same thing, no, but it's kind of like it.
See, what it says is what makes a grasshopper become a locust.
Because there's a thing that happens, and they kind of transform.
I hope I'm not fucking this up.
But I'm pretty sure that those, Little House on the Prairie days
when they have like locust storms.
I think those are just grasshoppers.
Really?
Yeah.
I just think that something happens to them.
Locusts are grasshoppers.
Aha.
That develop gregarious characteristics.
Gregarious?
What does that mean?
I can define that word real quick.
Gregarious sounds like polite conversation.
What is that word?
He's gregarious.
Right?
Doesn't it sound like?
Oh, he's gregarious in conversation.
Sociable?
Yeah, fond of company.
Sociable.
Living in flocks.
So it's just a grasshopper that talks a lot?
So they're real social.
Locusts are grasshoppers that are developing social characteristics.
They morph into locusts, yeah.
Okay.
So often they thrive in environmental conditions that allow them to form into organized groups.
And these conditions include thick vegetation growth after droughts.
In such conditions, locusts reproduce at a fast rate and move into large
Swarms while making stops at any patch of greenery they'll come across
Since they cover long distances in a short time locusts often cause extensive damage to crops. Oh
Wow
Grasshoppers rarely group up like that or swarm. So when they group up like that, that's when they get crazy.
Change color.
Wow.
That's weird.
They change color.
A solid color.
It says these insects typically come in a dark yellow, brown, or green,
but their color pattern can change when they enter the migratory or swarming phase.
Adult locusts are distinguished from females by the shape of the abdomens.
In male locusts, the tip of the abdomen is rounded because of the subgenital plate that
conceals the reproductive organs.
In females, the tip of the eye...
What color do they become?
They just...
Dark yellow.
Wow.
They're all colors.
But they change when they enter into the swarming phase.
This is a solitary female, which I'd imagine would be a grasshopper,
could lay 180 eggs, while the gregarious one only does 80.
Huh.
And it happens from their serotonin.
Whoa.
Just like grasshoppers, locusts are herbivores.
Therefore, they cause severe crop damage when they invade a field of crop.
Locusts tend to move in large groups to fly over long distances during their gregarious phase.
Insect physiologists established that serotonin, a brain chemical,
transforms solitary locusts into swarming insects.
So really, it's like they get happy and they get a little happy drug.
And they go into a swarming phase.
It makes you wonder what we're doing, giving people all these kind of wacky brain chemicals.
Experimenting with like what makes you feel better.
What makes you feel better, Brian?
Does this make you feel better, Brian? Try this one. That one makes you feel better? What makes you feel better Brian? Does this make you feel better Brian try this one that one makes you feel sad try this one that one makes me feel great
Everything is great. It's great. Oh, we got it. I think we got the one I think we got the right misc mixture for you
Fuck that non-spoiler alert watch spider head if that sounds interesting to you
What is spider head a new movie on Netflix.
Yeah?
Who's in it?
Thor and Miles Teller from Top Gun.
He's always going to be Thor.
Thor.
Forever.
Oh, God.
Have you seen the preview for the new Thor movie?
No.
It's like him and a woman.
It's like Lady Thor.
Why are you mad at Lady Thor?
It just seemed really cheesy, but you know what was amazing?
This is what I wanted to tell you.
I got to see Avatar 2 trailer in 3D, and it's coming out in December.
But have you seen the trailer for Avatar yet?
I don't think I have.
It looks so awesome.
Yeah?
Let's see it.
Let's watch the trailer for Avatar.
Yeah.
I've been excited about this.
For years.
Avatar 1 was an amazing movie.
And it was so visually stunning.
Yeah.
There was so much going on with it.
The 3D was insane on it.
And I got to see it in XD.
Have you done one of those theaters where the whole chair moves and flies around?
What if you're holding a drink?
Yeah, you just got to deal with that.
Put your drink down.
It's kind of scary, though.
Like, there's jump scares. You're like, oh, my God. Because it feels like somebody just pounded deal with that. It's kind of scary. There's jump scares.
You're like, oh, my God.
Because it feels like somebody just pounded on your back.
It's almost too much.
No, I've never been to one of those.
Highly recommend.
Wow, it's different when you don't sit in 3D, though.
Still looks dope.
You ever do that ride at Disneyland?
Or Disney World, rather?
No, I haven't been back to Disney in a long time.
Dude, Disney World has two Avatar rides.
One of them is called Flights of Passage.
Yeah.
And it's an HD thing that you put on these goggles
and you sit on a motorcycle-looking thing.
It's one of these dragons.
It looks like a motorcycle. And then the goggles pop on and then and it brings you into this virtual reality world where you're flying on a fucking dragon in the avatar world
it's amazing i mean it's fucking amazing
yeah i can't wait it's been a long time this movie's been in the works what for like
10 years dude this movie was so good it made gigantic blue ladies with huge cat eyes hot yeah
yeah i've watched a few a few of those fake porn too with the avatar girl oh they must have those
oh yeah i've seen i knew I knew it. This looks wild.
This family.
This came out like when the podcast started.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Christmas of 2009.
Yeah, this is... So I think they filmed a bunch of them back to back, right?
Yeah, I think there's two at least.
It's our fortress.
God damn, this looks good.
Yeah.
Isn't it interesting?
It's like every now and then, like with that movie,
someone can create something that, like, as a movie,
is so visually stunning and so unique that, like,
you could have 100 movies branch off of Avatar, just like Star Wars.
It's like how many Star Wars movies have there been?
It's a fucking shitload now, right?
You could 100% do that
because Avatar is such
an iconic feeling
you get when you're watching that movie.
You try to watch it again, you're like,
wow, this movie's fucking
great. When they're in the jungle
and he almost gets jacked by that giant
rhino looking thing.
There's so many moments in that movie. And and yeah it's like the Pocahontas story
it is the Pocahontas
it's basically right
there's a few of those movies that have the same kind of theme
right
it was Pocahontas there was another one
what did they compare it to?
Ferngully
but they did compare it to Pocahontas right?
yeah it's um yeah i mean it's a
classic movie it's dances with wolves he becomes a native american remember
that's a great movie too that's a great movie come on son you ever watch uh yellowstone
no what's that that's the the Kevin Costner TV show.
Oh, okay.
Where he's got a ranch in Montana.
Yellowstone.
It's fucking great.
Really?
It's great.
I'm on season three.
Oh, it's out right now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kevin Costner.
Yeah.
Wow.
Schultz gave it the recommendation.
I was like, okay.
All right.
I trust you.
Solid.
Good show. Did you ever watch The New Dexter? I did not. Oh, you shouldn't. it the recommendation I was like okay all right I trust you solid good show
did you ever watch the new Dexter I did not I should is it good yeah you
wouldn't think it would be but it is did he get jacked again cuz he got a little
skinny for a while he he looks normalish it's very different I don't want to give
anything away but it's uh it actually worked, I thought.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Probably not a good show for today, give people ideas.
Yeah, right.
You know, having this conversation yesterday about, like, what contributes to a person doing bad things.
Like, what contributes to mass shootings?
What contributes to gun violence?
What contributes to all that other than criminals and guns?
Like what contributes?
Does video games play a part?
I don't want to say yes, but...
Okay.
Let's just wink at each other.
Do violent movies play a part?
Anything that glamorifies shooting.
Glamorifies?
Glamorifies. Anything that glamor-fries shooting. Glamor-fries? Glamor-fries.
Anything that glamor-fries.
I mean, I think kids, at least, you know, I hate to say it, but games.
I mean, come on.
All the games are about shooting and having guns and how fun they are.
I don't want to even say that, though.
Right.
Here's the thing.
It wouldn't make you shoot somebody.
That's why we can both say that.
Right.
It wouldn't make me shoot somebody just because I saw a video game or played a video game about shooting people.
Right.
But how much of an effect does it have over people that are maybe not that well educated?
Bad parenting.
Bad parenting.
I think it's a lot of that.
Bad neighborhood, bad everything.
And then they see
that on tv all the time you see it in the movies all the time it's interesting like how hollywood
is like so vocal against gun violence right like there's so many people now that are like we need
gun control we need gun control but they're making these movies where they shoot the fuck out of people.
It's so weird.
That's so weird.
Because if ever somebody wanted to go, hey, you guys make all these movies making this look cool.
What is the real problem?
Is the real problem people who have guns who don't do anything and are law-abiding citizens?
Or is the real problem people who make movies where it looks awesome to shoot people?
And I'm not saying they're the problem.
I don't think they are.
But, like, that whole problem is a weird problem.
The problem of people wanting to randomly shoot people, that's not good, that's not a sign of a healthy
society, there's a lot
going on there, we've had a lot
of guns for a long time
this stuff has been ramping up fairly
recently in human history
this is a psychological problem
what about duels back in the
day when someone would cross you
I'm going to shoot you for talking bad
about my family or whatever.
I'm like, that's not good either.
I'm like, come on.
Talk that shit out.
Cowboys and Indians.
That started racial shootings, right?
Probably.
I don't think they knew very much about what kind of effect that would have back then.
I know.
I was trying to think about the game.
If someone wanted to make the argument for games being attributable at what level was it because they haven't always been
as good as as they are now and like i don't think the argument is that it's all games i think that
the argument is that games play a part i think the real like instead of like trying to pin the
blame on movies or trying to play there's a lot of factors right there's psychology there's people
that grow up that are abused and the way they're tortured when they're young like they have no
empathy by the time they're a 20 21 year old person and people get raised by monsters all
over the world i mean it just happens it's got a terrible effect on people. Then you have people that are on all kinds of drugs,
all kinds of medications,
all kinds of things that could fuck with your mind.
And you have people that are just psychopaths.
You have that too.
You have people with broken brains
that want to do things, horrible things.
We have a sick society.
The society's sick.
I think it's like your old bit, dude.
I think people need to,
not everyone can have kids.
You have to earn.
Oh, that bit, yeah.
The bit was about
that it shouldn't be that easy to make people.
We need to separate having sex
from making a person.
Having sex should just be fun.
Let's just make it fun
and then to make a person it should be like one of the action movies where the president and the
general have to turn the key at the exact same time to activate the nukes you should be fucking
really sure you want to raise a kid yeah because i mean i think that's with all everything i think
it is mostly that family and how these kids are being, you know, they're being stuck in front of a Nintendo or an Xbox.
Yeah.
He has a babysitter and playing Call of Duty all day.
And there's also, some people are just born fucked.
Yeah.
They're just born fucked up.
They're, you know, there's people that are good people and they have a kid and that kid's fucked.
It's just, it's the fucking roll of the dice sometimes.
It's a lot of things.
What makes a person be able to do like a mass shooting?
It's like, we have to figure out what's wrong with people.
You know, taking the weapons away.
If no one had guns, for sure, there'd be no shootings.
But that's not realistic.
How are you going to do that?
We've got to look at this for what it actually is.
Look at it pragmatic.
Instead of wondering how we got here, we've got to figure out how to keep everybody safe.
Homeschooling for everybody.
Zoom classes for everybody.
But, dude, homeschooling might work if you're really super on the ball and you expose your
kid to a lot of other kids and a lot of people.
There's a socializing aspect that I would be skeptical about when it comes to homeschooling.
They are.
I'm not opposed to homeschooling.
I know people that have homeschooled their kids and their kids are great.
There's a big prejudice that people have that people who homeschooling. I know people that have homeschooled their kids and their kids are great. There's like a big prejudice that people have that people homeschool are religious.
I think if I had kids, I would homeschool them. And if it wasn't a private school,
if I could afford a private school, probably that, but homeschooling probably. At least
their first, I don't know, sixth grades. Kids need to socialize, man.
Yeah. They really, really do. They need to socialize. yeah they really really do they need to socialize it's very
important they got to get out with other kids and talk and that's how we make better people
you know i'm not saying that you won't make great people homeschooling your kid but i'm saying
there's a great benefit to kids being around kids and sorting things out for themselves and the
parents aren't around there's a great benefit to that learning things socially yeah but then maybe
that's where you throw the Girl Scouts in
or the Boy Scouts if they even have those anymore.
I think the Boy Scouts have to let ladies in now too.
Oh, that's great for the Boy Scouts.
I would have loved that if I had Girl Scouts.
How did that get passed?
I think it's because no one was joining the Girl Scouts.
Oh, that's fucked.
They didn't have anywhere for them to go.
Yeah, well, how many people are worried about leaving their daughters with fucking some creepy people?
Man.
You hear stories, and it's very rare, but you do hear these stories.
That's what scares people about, like, Google Scoutmaster arrested molestation.
Oh, yeah.
Google those words. And. Rightation. Google those words.
But Google those words, right?
I'm not exaggerating.
You'll find a lot of cases.
And Boy Scouts were always connected in Ohio
to churches. My Boy Scouts were
through my church.
But let me tell you something. I had a
great time at the Boy Scouts.
I went to the Boy Scouts. I went
camping in New Hampshire with a bunch of hoodlums.
Long Island
Scoutmaster arrested for sexually abusing boy.
North Texas Scoutmaster arrested for
indecency. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot.
There's a lot. Former Austin
Scoutmaster charged of promoting child porn.
Former Scoutmaster arrested
on child indecency.
Oh my God. There's so many of them.
Scoutmaster arrested on child porn charges.
Assistant scoutmaster charged of sexually abusing 12-year-olds.
Oh, fuck, man.
Don't Google that.
Just trust me.
I did not get molested, but I did almost get dragged out of my tent or out of our cots, rather, in the middle of the night.
These fucking kids were hoodlums.
They were tying kids up and leaving them in the woods.
They put toothpaste on everybody's clothes.
I went to, when I was in the Boy Scouts,
we were living in Jamaica Plain.
Jamaica Plain is, want coffee?
Jamaica Plain has been gentrified now, supposedly.
I don't know.
I'm just talking out of my ass from what I've heard.
But where I used to live was not, back in the day, it was
a rough neighborhood.
It was interesting because I didn't really have any
exposure to bad kids before.
That was like my first exposure
at like 13 to bad
kids. Kids that were criminals.
They'd all had sex.
13?
I'll never forget this kid, Pauly Hudson
who lived next door to me.
And he goes, you probably don't even know how a dick goes in a pussy.
And I go, what do you mean?
And he goes, you probably think it goes in, but it goes up.
And I remember he blew my mind.
I was like, it goes up?
I'm like, he already knows.
I didn't even think about it. I was like,
of course it has to go up. Where else could it go?
It would poke right out of your butthole.
It wouldn't make any sense.
But it was hilarious.
I was like, these kids are
criminals. They were always
lighting things on fire.
We accidentally lit a
field on fire once, enough firecrackers
Yeah, the whole field we try to put it out and then the wind blew
I'm like oh shit, and we ran to the street, but right when we ran there a cop car was there
I was totally confessed to the cop the cop goes get the fuck out
I called the fire department and they put the fire out luckily quick
Yeah, we still like there was all these like abandoned buildings and shit.
We would go into them,
smash windows.
It was really wild.
Like to be 13 and hanging out with these kids that were like,
they were kind of dangerous.
You know,
like a lot of them wind up going to jail.
A lot of them had already been like charged with stuff.
Some of them had done time in juvie.
It's like, yeah i didn't hang out with the bad kids i was a nerd well i didn't hang out with
the bad kids but that that time when i'm when we moved we moved to newton which was a much nicer
neighborhood we were in newton upper falls it was like you know you had normal like kid beefs and
a few street fights and stuff like that but it was like you know you had normal like kid beefs and a few street
fights and stuff like that but it was a pretty nice place to grow up it wasn't bad at all it
was fun but jamaica playing was fucking sketchy when i was in uh i guess i was in eighth grade
there was i went there yeah i think yeah it was eighth grade so i So I guess that's when I was 13. There was a guy in my class who was 17 years old,
and he kept going back to eighth grade.
He wanted to eventually graduate,
but he just had been sent back so many times.
Oh, my God.
That he would be entering high school.
He'd be like 18 years old entering high school.
Can you even do that?
I mean, I got held held back and i was 18 the second half of my last year yeah but that's normal that's okay but like what year
would they say hey you can't go to high school anymore like if you get i think 18 what if you
start off a loser right right and you're just like sucking your thumb every day in first grade
second grade third they keep holding you back like brian you got to do second grade again fuck you
i'm not doing shit and you they keep failing you you can't have all f's and get to third grade
so they keep holding you back and next thing you know you're 17 but you know you have a religious
experience god comes to you in a dream and tells you hey man get your fucking shit together you're
17 you got to graduate eighth grade and so you graduate eighth grade and tells you, hey, man, get your fucking shit together. You're 17. You've got to graduate eighth grade.
And so you graduate eighth grade, and then you're 18, you go to high school.
Okay.
What's the oldest age to be in high school?
Why it may differ around the world. The United States, the maximum age limit that a person can attend high school for free is about 20 or 21.
In one state, it's 19.
In another, it's 26. That's hilarious. When do you think it's 26? Oh, here's 19, in another, it's 26.
That's hilarious.
Oh, here's the thing.
Well, let me ask you this. Here's the thing.
You know there's people
that hold their kid back
a year because they want
their kid to do better in sports.
Did you know that that's a thing?
Because there's real evidence
and Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers talks about this with professional hockey players.
With professional hockey players, all the elites, they all were born within a certain time of the year.
And it's not because that's a magic time of the year, but it's because that's like the oldest you can be and still be in first grade.
The oldest you can be and still be in second grade.
Their birthday was just right after the line, and they're considerably more developed than
kids that were... They barely made it in on the bottom half.
They're barely old enough to get into first grade. And this guy's barely,
he really should be in second grade.
Right?
But if you can get to that spot,
your kid will have this 12 month advantage
in growth.
And let me tell you something,
with my kids,
you notice like,
they'll grow.
I'll watch them.
And like all of a sudden,
they've grown two inches.
It's like,
how long did it take you to grow two inches?
And it's like six months. Like what the fuck? This is crazy. You grown two inches. It's like, how long did it take you to grow two inches? And it's like six months.
Like, what the fuck?
This is crazy.
You grew two inches in six.
It sounds like nothing because it's normal,
but it's wild when you see it happen.
But if you could get a kid that's already grown those two inches
and already gained like the X amount of pounds,
and with boys it's a big one because they start maturing
and developing and hormones kick in.
That kid's going to have an advantage at sports.
He's going to be faster than those kids.
He's going to be maybe stronger than those kids.
Maybe his hand-eye coordination will be better.
It's like a lot of factors.
I bet that happens a lot.
I didn't even think about that.
It happens a lot.
So if you were a person who was competitively inclined and you had children and you want
your kids to compete in sports, there's a lot of those fucking people.
I don't know if there's even schools that, hey, he's good, but he could be a lot
better if we held him back.
Yes.
Private schools.
Yeah.
I guarantee you they do.
I don't think a public school would say that.
It's big in the little league baseball.
Remember when that kid, they thought he was 20 20, but he's supposedly like 13 or something.
They're like, we need to see the birth certificate.
He's like, he's got a mustache.
He's throwing 90 miles an hour.
What are you doing?
Yeah, imagine being 26 in that one state and playing football.
What the fuck, man?
Yeah, that would be crazy.
Because if you could hold back that long, you'd be so mature.
But once a man reaches, I guess like,
I guess your 20s is when you're in your prime like physical prime to like maybe 30 and then with with athletes they can kick it into the deep
deep into the 30s like you could be an elite athlete like there's this guy arthur bitterbeev
better be of uh just knocked out joe smith jr for the light heavyweight title this guy, Artur Beterbiev. Beterbiev just knocked out Joe Smith Jr. for the light heavyweight title.
This guy is a fucking animal.
He's 18-0 with 18 knockouts.
Jesus.
He's the only world champion that's in boxing today
that has a 100% knockout ratio for every fight he's ever been in.
He's from Chechnya.
This dude is fucking terrifying.
Terrifying, because Joe Smith Jr. is an animal.
I mean, he's this big, power-punching light heavyweight,
and bitter be it, fucked him up in two rounds.
What was my point?
High school.
Guess what state it is.
West Virginia?
Texas.
It is?
Of course, because of football.
Oh, my God.
Maybe.
But, yeah, Texas is the outlier.
Oh, my God.
I want to know what the oldest person in Texas that played football is.
Now I remember my point.
Beterbiev is like 38.
I think he's 38
or 37 or 38
something like that. Google
Artur Beterbiev.
He's a fucking
animal. Most guys
by that age that are
professional boxers, 37.
Most guys by that age are starting to
slide a little bit physically.
Skill wise they can maintain.
Dude, he's a fucking animal.
Google the video of him knocking out Joe Smith Jr.
because you can find it online.
He's a fucking animal.
Joe Smith Jr. is a dangerous guy.
He's this big, power-punching guy.
And this Archer Bitterbee have just fucked him up, man.
But it's interesting how he did it. Joe's real aggressive and powerful,bee have just fucked him up man but it's interesting how
he did it like Joe's like real aggressive and powerful
and he just caught him coming in
his
hand speed the technique
of his punches like everything
and his fucking strength man
dude all those people from that part of the
world those are some stout fucking
people it's weird.
Yeah, and this guy is Hamzat Shumayev.
He's another guy from Chechnya,
and he's an elite guy in the UFC.
Like, there it is.
They stopped the fight there.
Wow.
And this guy does that to everybody.
He's 18-0 with 18 knockouts,
so everybody he's fought gets fucked up like this.
Does he know a special place to hit the head?
Because it looks like he hit him in the back of the head.
Maybe he has like a secret.
No, no, no.
He hit him on the temple.
Brian's using Kung Fu.
That's not Kung Fu, bro.
Maybe it's right there is what I was thinking.
No.
He's fucking him up with the uppercut right there.
Yeah, that was the uppercut that really did it in.
But it's like everything.
I mean, every punch that he throws is dangerous he's an interesting guy because like he's a power punching boxer like
his boxing skill is excellent but he's such a power puncher he's the most exciting guy uh in
that division right now he's really uh very very interesting and then there's that b-ball guy who
just beat Canelo did you see that fight same Mm-hmm same division? Yeah whoo to Russians?
You know
It's a little touch me on Russia. There's a fucking hard-ass people man
That boxer that died that was pretty fucked up I want to check their plastics. Yeah, yeah, what a no plastic
Zero. Yeah, that's probably true. Right if you think about if it, if you're living up in Siberia, where are you getting plastic?
Right.
You know, you're not.
You're just eating antelope every day.
Yeah, and that's probably all wrapped in cloth, not even in a refrigerator.
If you're living in Siberia, you're eating moose.
That's what you're eating.
You're eating moose.
You're eating badgers.
You're eating whatever the fuck you eat whatever you kill salmon
you're probably eating the healthiest shit that a person can get and then you're you're of a like a
long history of people there that have done like hard hard physical work that you ever see that um
uh happy people life on the taiga documentary about siberia fuck it's amazing. It's so interesting because you almost envy their life. Like there's
something about people that live like a hunter-gatherer lifestyle, which is essentially
what these folks do. They grow food, but mostly what they're doing is like they're hunting meat
and they're trapping fur and they're gatheringpping fur, and they're gathering fish.
And then they're waiting out the winter.
And in the winter, they do a lot of their trapping, and they do it on snowmobiles.
It's weird, man.
It's a weird life.
But these people, they get together.
They're all drinking and laughing, and they're all happy.
They have a very low instance of mental illness.
Everybody's fulfilled.
They all have tasks that they have to do all day and it's all like you have to like the guy's making his own snow skis he's showing you what
to make skis you know with his fucking russian accent not russian accent i mean russian speaking
in russian and it's just um you know at captioned over but it's a amazing documentary because these
people seem so fucking fulfilled We're so lost
We think we're so lucky. We think we're so lucky with our phones and our videos and our
Instagrams and our fucking
flying around on planes
But meanwhile, we're all like miserable and disconnected and people get how about this pill Brian? Does this make you feel better?
How about this one is it do we get the right spot? We got the the right spot yay these people all they do is drink vodka and eat mousse and drive around on
snowmobiles they're having a blast sounds fun sounds like a vacation show a clip from it
it's pretty it's an interesting documentary Werner Herzog has two of my all-time favorite
documentaries there's that one and then there's grizzly man grizzly man
was it which is like the best documentary in the whole entire world yeah it might be so this is these people that live this is where they live they live right off the taiga river and
in the winter time that river freezes solid and they use it as a road and they use it as a road to
drag their across and to ride snowmobiles across.
They all have dogs that they've trained.
And these people live there.
And this one guy has been up there for fucking decades.
This one main guy that he follows a lot.
He's really interesting.
He was dropped off there by the former Soviet Union like way back in the day with very little understanding of how to survive with a dog.
And he was like, that dog kept me alive.
That dog fed me.
And so him and his dog would go out hunting.
The other guy that he was supposed to be with, I think, bailed.
But it's an amazing story.
This guy had to figure out how to survive on the taiga, and now he loves it.
And now they all talk about it like they would never want to do anything else
because their life there is just so natural.
And they just live off this crazy river in this frozen part of the world
where you can only survive outside for a certain amount of time.
And they're all furred up.
Does it explain how he found this guy?
Like how he discovered him?
No, he didn't.
No, I mean, Herzog's a genius.
His other documentary that's really interesting too
is about the cave paintings that they found in France.
Have you ever seen that?
They found these cave paintings in France
and I want to say they're like 30,000 years old or something.
Something insane.
See what it says?
They found those
and they um they did this exploration of the cave and they filmed it and you know this is stuff that
probably hadn't been seen by human eyes for like who knows how many years and so these people are
discovering this in this cave and looking at it and it's amazing it's like there's no more vivid snapshot in time than looking at some stuff that people drew when they were like the first people to draw things.
You know, I mean, these are the most primitive of people.
They're living in caves, literally.
I mean, who knows what kind of weapons they had?
Who knows how they were doing this but these people they all deep in this cave they
all lived and they they drew shit on the walls and so here they are finding this
stuff very long taints they've had probably their taints were like your
whole forearm.
It's really, really interesting, man, because these images are fucking cool as shit.
Look at these images.
That's cool.
So there were some kind of cats that they were trying to get away from.
They drew that.
They drew antelopes.
Yeah, look at these.
They drew rhinos.
It's wild, man.
Wild shit. What are they saying was the age of those uh
paintings does it say find out what the age of those paintings are because it's just like
i don't know because well denisovans they they just figured them out it was france pretty recently
well a lot of neanderthals were in france europe had a lot of Neanderthals were in France.
Europe had a lot of Neanderthals.
But I think they think those were Homo sapiens that made that.
I don't think they think...
I think they think Neanderthals did
some stuff like that.
Like, they did have weapons.
They did have tools.
But I just don't think they were as sophisticated.
I don't know if they drew shit
because those are really good drawings.
Yeah.
The cat's face is perfect.
I wonder if it's just like one guy
was really good at art, you know?
He was like the Banksy of cavemen.
This is all him.
Yeah, here it goes.
It's Chauvet.
Chauvet.
What do you say?
Chauvet?
Chauvet cave paintings. Chauvet. What do you say? Chauvet? Chauvet cave paintings.
Chauvet caves importance is based on two factors.
Firstly, the aesthetic quality of these Paleolithic cave paintings.
And secondly, their great age.
With one exception, all of the cave art paintings have been dated between 30 and 33,000 years ago.
33,000 years ago.
So 33,000 years ago, humans are living in caves,
and they're killing animals and then documenting on the cave wall what they did and what they're after and what they want
and documenting things to avoid, documenting things they experienced.
What were people like back then?
Can you imagine going 33,000 years ago and just being a fly on the wall and watching
people exist?
If they didn't know you were there, just being able to just observe silently and invisibly.
Fuck.
What a wild life that must have been.
They probably barely figured out clothes, right?
I hope not.
That's what I was thinking.
It was like hot chicks with, you know, just hairy armpits.
I bet everything would be hairy.
Yeah.
I bet people back, I mean, what did they look like?
Were they covered in hair?
Monkeys.
I mean, but that's no, because those are homo sapiens.
Right?
The thought is that the homo sapien, like us, we've been around for, I think they think it's a quarter million years.
Right?
Isn't that what they think?
But there's dudes that have, like, George the Animal Steel.
Remember that pro wrestler?
His entire body's covered in hair.
Like, everything.
His whole back is like your beard.
Right.
Right?
Wow, you should see my back.
Bah!
But like if you look at a guy like that, like Georgie Animal Steel,
like what, was that how all people looked 33,000 years ago?
Like look at him.
He's covered in hair.
He was great. What a character. Look at
that fucking hair on him. Look at the hair on him. I mean, everything is covered in hair.
And there was that one Russian wrestler. Remember? This is one like really elite
Russian wrestler. That's crazy hairy. I mean, he just looks like he's the ultimate male.
So like, was, is that what people looked like 33 000 years ago
you think i think so probably yeah that i don't mean like a pro wrestler he's like a real wrestler
not the pro wrestlers aren't real wrestlers i mean like uh amateur wrestler he's um
fuck i forget his name
i'm not gonna get it Fuck, I forgot his name.
I'm not going to get it.
Yeah, look at that guy.
There it is.
Oh, jeez.
Why didn't you just trim it up a little?
His name is, boy, I don't want to fuck this up, Ketuev Georgie.
I think, I hope I didn't fuck that up, but that dude is hairy as fuck.
Look at him, he's a werewolf.
That is crazy. He's a werewolf. That is crazy.
He's a werewolf.
So do you think that people all looked like that 33,000 years ago, right?
They probably had to have hair on them because you have to be able to regulate your temperature in some way.
They're probably way hairier than that dude, right?
Because you think about that dude, that dude's alive today, right?
And he looks like a throwback, right?
Like a throwback super male what you know i bet way more that harry right that's only this is like a rare guy for this era
but what if that was like way more common 20 years or 100 years before that and way more common 100
years before that and you go back to these fucking people they're probably fully furred up they could still be people and be fully furred up right probably super jacked
probably shredded or would they be super malnourished you're like would they would
be malnourished too i bet they would be small right fragile bones because then no one had
milk no no no no all they ate was meat like you had to be like
like neanderthals in specific they had much thicker bones than us neanderthals were like
they were like five seven 205 pounds they were big fucking weird looking things like if you saw
one you know it looked like an mma fighter like but with a fucked up head. Giant ass, long arms, big thick ass bones.
Do you remember that crazy guy? There was some guy who was trying to propose this theory
that Neanderthals were super predators and that they would look more like a gorilla than
they would like a human being and that we probably went
to war with them it was like really crazy because anthropologists like shot the fuck up but it was
so fun i was like god i hope he's right yeah i hope he's right because he he had these uh images
of them what they looked like something out of like a like a movie like some movie like if you
went to the the jungle they found a new super species of ape.
That's what he made an artistic depiction of Neanderthals look like.
But they had like giant muscles and shit.
They looked terrifying.
Do you remember that, Jamie?
It's nonsense though, right?
I'm just looking.
There's an aquatic ape theory is one theory on why we've lost.
Yeah, that's a good one.
That's a theory.
That's a good one.
But see if you can find that Neanderthal thing.
Because those Neanderthal guys, the one where he's the killer Neanderthal,
I think it's wildly discredited, by the way.
This is 100% bullshit.
But Brian and I had some pot.
That's the fun shit.
Yeah, it's not misinformation, bro.
Yeah, here it is. So look at what it looks like.
It looks like a monster.
So this is this guy's idea.
So, uh,
Neanderthals were not the gentle, almost human
creatures portrayed in the media over the last
50 years. New Australian research
revealed that they were aggressive, powerful, and terrifying
carnivores, ruthlessly inefficient apex predators who hunted, raped, and ate early humans for
over 50,000 years.
Neanderthals' daily diet consisted of two kilograms of meat, the equivalent of 16 quarter
pounders included human flesh.
So this guy's saying that we hunted them to extinction because they ate us.
Based on new research, Australian independent scholar.
I love that.
Independent scholar.
Australian.
I don't need your stinking university and all your checks and balances.
and all your checks and balances.
Based on the research,
our Australian independent scholar,
Danny Vendramini,
has developed a Neanderthal predation theory which argues that the evolution of modern humans,
including our unique physiology, sexuality, and human nature,
is the result of a reaction
to this systematic long-term sexual predation
and cannibalism by Eurasian Neanderthals.
Look at the images that he created of it.
So convincing.
That's really what they looked like?
Yeah.
If instead of having a human-like nose, they had a gorilla-like nose and they had dark,
dark skin and crazy fangs.
Look how scary that thing looks.
Imagine if that was a thing that...
Click to enlarge. Imagine if that was
real and that was a thing
that ate people.
But fuck people
too, right? Because I have
57% more Neanderthal
than most people.
You do? Is that a test?
Like a 24 and me?
Yeah, 23 and me, 24 and me.
So that was my ancestors?
Someone looked like that?
That guy's not right though, right?
They don't think he's right.
I wouldn't imagine so.
I wouldn't think so, yeah.
But can you imagine?
We know that humans eat humans.
If Neanderthals were stronger than us,
why wouldn't they eat us?
He's got one guy that backs him up
at Stony Brook University.
Oh shit.
He's very enthusiastic. All right, let's just one guy that backs him up at Stony Brook University. Oh shit.
Alright, let's just shut the laptop now and start running with this as fact.
They were, they were monsters.
Stony Brook, man.
We believe you.
You imagine just being a person back before we figured out how to make a door.
We, we, how did they keep things from getting to that cave?
How did you keep your kids alive?
It makes you kind of wonder though also when there's nothing invented that you sit there
and go, man, we should have a door.
If you're just constantly thinking of new things, like wheels seem like they make sense.
I mean, I invented 42 things today.
Well, they needed some sort of shelter just to be able to formulate ideas. Like, you're always running for your life.
If you're a person, like, imagine if you're a person like you or me, and we just live in the woods.
You're running for your life.
You don't have any clothes.
Like, how are you ever going to figure out a wheel?
You don't have time.
You just try to get, you want to get food and stop things from eating your kids.
You'd probably be fucking all the time, too.
Like, just gross fucking all day.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Probably so horny.
Well, I would imagine that there was like an incredible urge for those early humans
to breed because they got knocked off so quick.
Like any ant, like dogs, right?
You leave dogs wild, they fuck and they get stray populations of dogs.
I think human beings, if we were getting eaten all
the time you know half a million years ago whatever it was i bet we were horny constantly because you
had to fuck just to make a new person and there's like a probably a numbers game i wonder how many
animals have actually been picked off by other animals to the point of extinction
you know because we we know that human beings have caused animals to go extinct.
But I wonder how many animals
have caused other animals to go extinct.
Like where they were just, the balance was off.
Like the tigers were so good at getting the deer
that there was no deer left.
I wonder how many times that's happened.
I bet it happens a lot.
Well, it seems like that would be the test of nature though, right?
That's how nature tests out a species.
And I think the number is somewhere in the 90s,
like more than 90% of all species that have ever existed are extinct.
Which is weird, right?
Because we don't want anything to go extinct.
Like, we don't want to keep the dodo bird.
What about the dodo?
We lost the dodo.
We lost the dodo.
I mean, I don't want the dodo to be extinct.
There should be a couple around.
I wish they were around.
I wish they were doing great.
I wish nothing but love for the dodos.
But it's a weird thing to freak out about.
Cats are number one.
The number one invasive killer of species around the world.
According to research published in this month's Proceedings of the National Academy of
Sciences feral cats can be blamed for a 63 modern extinctions Wow good job Wow
fucking cats but out in the world see that's a but that's an invasive species
thing I think that's an invasive species thing.
I think that's how nature has settled in after all these years.
I bet if people weren't around, we could study it in a more interesting way. If people weren't around and you could see lions and zebras and follow them over 100 years
and figure out how the populations expand and recede
and what makes more zebras, what makes more lions,
and how it all plays out.
Because it's a weird dance of things that want to eat things.
And some things are eating the green things,
and there's other things trying to eat them.
And it's all just trying to balance it out.
Because if you just let the green things grow,
they fucking grow all over the place,
and there's too much green shit. And if you just let the green things grow they fucking grow all over the place and there's too much green shit and if you just let the things that eat the
green things fuck they'll eat all the green things there won't be anything green because
these motherfuckers are going to eat them for the time they're sprouts and so you got to get
something that eats them and that's where the cats come in bro fuck living there you imagine more than 99 of all organisms that have ever
lived on earth or extinct as new species evolved to fit ever-changing ecological
riches niches excuse me older species fade away but the rate of extinction is
far from constant Wow 99% so when they they talk about a mass extinction event,
that so many things are going extinct,
but 99% of everything that's ever existed has been extinct, right?
That seems kind of crazy, because we haven't heard of 99% of all that.
Here's a list of everything that's extinct, right?
Well, I guess everything when you go back to dinosaurs and ancient fossils and megalodons and shit,
things that we pretty much know are extinct.
Megadon's one I hold out hope for.
Megadon.
Megalodon.
It's a variant.
Here comes Megadon.
I'm trying to get that Megadon variant.
Megadon variant makes your hog grow.
No, Megalodon.
Giant shark.
Right.
I was just reading something about them yesterday.
That they just think they were just these huge, ruthless predators.
Just ate whales and shit.
Ate whales and shit?
Yeah, they were huge.
Wow.
Megadons are gigantic.
There's a movie, The Meg.
It was so dumb.
But I watched it.
I watched it.
I was excited.
That's how big a Megalodon's mouth was.
So whales aren't bigger than that?
No, whales are bigger than that, but they ate whales.
Oh, I see.
They would just chew on them.
But whales do that now.
I mean, sharks do that now with whales. When whales die, specifically.
It's wild, right?
Mm-hmm.
Do you know what kills whales?
Human race.
Killer whales.
Oh.
Look at the difference in teeth between a regular shark teeth and a Megalodon tooth.
Wow.
Holy fuck.
Just holy fuck, dude.
That tooth has a butt crack in it, too.
That tooth is so big.
That tooth looks like a hoof.
Yeah.
What the hell?
That's how big their fucking teeth were?
Megadon shark extinction may have been linked to great...
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's all right.
What did it say?
To great white...
Great white competition.
Hmm.
So the great whites out-ate them.
Maybe they just ran out of shit to eat.
Maybe that was one of those things where it's just,
hey, man, this is a bad design.
You guys just take up too much calories.
Look at the size of the fucking mouth of that thing.
Make that a little smaller so we can see the full scope of it.
Look at that, man.
smaller so we could see the full scope of it look at that man that's nature is just so fascinating nature's like listen it's too easy to survive in this ocean
we've got a we've got a figure out a way how many do you think there were
thousands millions or was the last one 20 of them did it recently well there
had to be more than 20 I think there's a lot of Megalodon teeth, which probably indicates there's a lot of Megalodon.
They're probably still hiding, too, right?
No, I don't think so.
I don't think they believe that.
That's the Meg.
Yeah, super fake stuff.
Yeah, I don't think they believe it.
I think they think they're really sure.
But, you know, the ocean's so goddamn big.
The ocean is so big, but that's a big animal.
I mean, that's a big animal.
With all the people traveling back and forth in boats after all these years,
you would think there'd be one legitimate sighting.
I think they have some legitimate sightings of sharks that are extraordinarily large.
I want to say the biggest one.
What's the biggest great white shark?
There's that one off the coast of Massachusetts.
It's called Big – I'll check it.
Wicked Big.
Wicked.
It's Pissa.
Wicked Pissa Big.
They call it Deep Blue.
Deep Blue.
How big is he?
Estimated 20 feet, 5,500 pounds.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Ah.
Wow.
Dude.
God.
That's so big.
Just a giant eating machine.
22 feet estimated, I guess.
Wow.
The average length of great white shark female is 15 to 16 feet.
Male is 11 to 13 feet. Wow. The average length of a great white shark, female, is 15 to 16 feet. Male is 11 to 13 feet.
Wow.
Fuck those things.
Dude, did you ever watch that jackass thing where the guy got his fucking hand bit?
No.
Yeah, it was like in the middle of filming.
By a shark?
They were doing a stunt and he got in the water and it fucking got him.
Oh, gee, how bad did his hand get fucked up?
Not good.
He still has his hand, but he had to go through surgeries.
They didn't put it in the movie either, did they?
No, I believe it was in a promotion for Shark Week or something like that.
I think it was on that.
Oh, my God, dude.
Fuck that.
Dude, fuck that.
Dude.
Shout out poopies. Poopies. Man. Yeah, do fuck that dude shot out poopies
poopies
Man, yeah crazy. I mean imagine a biting machine. That's filled with a mouthful of knives
That's what it is
mouthful of bone knives just
And your fucking hand got caught in that don't show show me this. Don't you fucking show me this, Jamie.
Shut it.
Shut it.
I'm scared of sharks more than any other predator, I think,
because you know how helpless you are in the water.
Like, you're so slow.
You know, you can't defend yourself.
You can't get out of the way.
Yeah, water scares me.
I'm trying to save him here.
Oh, dude, get this off the air.
I don't need this in my life, Jamie.
You see that thing that was outside of the Texas Zoo?
That one could figure out what it is?
That walking... You don't think it's anything?
No.
They would have more pictures of it.
What that is is a person.
It's like a person.
They got a weird blurry picture of them because their camera sucks.
Why is the picture so shitty?
I would want my money back.
It's a security camera.
If that was my security camera, I'd be like, what the fuck?
I can't even tell what that is.
True.
Why does all security cameras like-
Look at that.
Literally the shittiest.
That is-
That is, yeah.
It looks kind of like a-
That or like a-
It's a werewolf jagging off.
That's what it looks like.
A werewolf fingering his butt while he's jagging off.
Does it?
Did they just have a single picture or did they have video of this?
I would imagine they have video, but they're only showing you a single picture because the video would make it look clearer.
Give it away?
Yeah.
This is just promotional for a zoo?
It's nonsense, son.
That shit's nonsense.
It never gained entry, whatever it was.
It never gained entry.
Not yet.
Not yet. Not yet.
It could still be out there.
Yeah.
I would like a monster or two to be real.
Right.
Can you imagine if they found a real vampire?
Like people have just been missing.
It doesn't turn them into vampires.
It just kills them.
But he only has to eat like once a week.
I'm more to believe that there's zombies out there.
I think zombies could be a real thing.
Have you ever looked at a video of people that are dying from rabies?
That's the closest to like a zombie.
Well, I have watched Biden talk.
I think it's the same thing.
Leave that poor guy alone.
I think vampires, I think there's a scientific analysis that said vampires couldn't exist
because the whole human race would be extinct.
Why?
Because the whole human race would be necessary to feed them.
Like if one eats one, like how long it takes to develop a fully grown adult human being
that you're going to eat.
So if they suck everybody's blood, they'll just run out of out of people they have to suck blood every day they'll kill everybody
depends if they need only human blood because they could just live off a cow
now you're watching Twilight I didn't rewatch that the other day he was such a
good person slash vampire that was I rewatched that the other day it does not
hold up and it never held up, but...
It held up for girls.
It's so dumb.
They'll get damp in the panties watching that fellow.
You know what's good?
Starship Troopers.
Have you seen that?
Starship Troopers is great.
I just re-watched that last night.
It's a great movie.
Oh, that naked scene when they're all just naked taking a shower.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
That's how it should be.
That was a good movie.
Hell yeah.
That was a fun movie. Yep yeah. That was a fun movie.
Yep, and it held up.
Giant bugs.
Because we've always said that.
Like, imagine, we were watching the other day this praying mantis eat a wasp.
Nice.
It's on my Instagram.
One of those, I follow a lot of those, like, brutal nature.
Nature, Kim, is metal.
And this praying mantis just has a clamp down on this wasp, and it's just eating it alive.
It's like you holding Marshall. That's what it's like like because it's like half his size right right it's like
you holding a medium-sized dog and just eating alive that's what this praying mantis is doing
and i've always thought we're so lucky they're little the only way humans exist is if praying
mantises are tiny little things because if they were big we
would be in deep shit dude look at this thing look at this thing ass first love it yeah but that
look at the strength first of all like the wasp is not doing shit and it doesn't even feel remotely
stressed out while it just chews in this most alien way. Look at its eyes and its antenna.
I mean, that is a bizarre and ruthless creation of nature.
I don't think we appreciate how fucking fantastic they are because they're so little.
Yeah.
God, it's so cool.
But look at that thing.
You know they catch hummingbirds?
Yeah.
I've seen those videos.
That's disturbing shit, too.
That's wild.
Look at that thing.
They're such creeps.
They're such creeps.
Those are aliens.
Those are aliens.
Yeah, that's starship troopers or whatever right there.
So the only reason why we can be as big as we are is because they're small.
There's no way we would ever make it to this size if they were, like, big giant things.
They would have eaten us all.
We would have never made it.
if they were like big giant things.
They would have eaten us all.
We would have never made it.
We'd still be hiding in the trees where the grasshoppers and fucking praying mantises
can't get to us.
So that was Starship Troopers.
Giant bugs.
Yep.
And I think bullets would bounce right off
those fucking things.
Yeah, their shells.
They would have like armor and shit.
Bro, they go to war with each other.
That thing.
Oh, no.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Jack, son.
Bad idea.
Bad idea.
You got Jack, son.
Look at that.
That's crazy.
Why is he not doing anything with his feet and legs?
Because he can't.
He's got a fucking barb in his skull.
Dude, look what he's doing to his head.
Oh, God.
This is so gross.
Why would-
And he starts just eating him.
No, he gets him again.
Oh, come on.
But look at that.
He's chewing his lip.
That lizard just got cocky and thought, and he'd get him again. Oh, come on. But look at that. He's chewing his lip. That lizard just got cocky and thought, and he get him again.
That lizard got cocky.
Look, he's eating his eyeballs, bro.
I don't like it.
That lizard got cocky and thought he was going to be able to fuck with a praying mantis.
Play that lizard part again.
Because the lizard started it.
This lizard is a dick.
Look at him.
He's a dick.
He's like, get off my fucking branch.
You open his mouth, I'm going to fuck you up.
No, you're not, bitch.
Not today, motherfucker.
Look at the pressure on his head.
Look at the pressure.
That thing is immensely strong.
I mean, that's really amazing.
When he's eating the cheek or the lip.
He's just eating his mouth while it's forced and wedged open by his forearm.
This armored forearm. Look while it's forced and wedged open by his forearm. This armored forearm.
Look how it's doing it.
And then finally it gets loose.
He's like, what the fuck was that about?
But he's so dumb, he stays.
He's stupid.
And now he's getting eaten alive.
They're amazing, man.
Fuck.
That's an amazing creature of nature because it's not that big.
So you look at how big a lizard is
I think of lizards like dinosaurs like oh my god dinosaurs must have been saying big lizards
But a lizard ain't shit compared to one of these
How remember how we've shown a bunch of pictures of how cool they get like all the colors like clear
They look like flowers and now they disguise themselves. They disguise themselves. I was one cannibalism. Yeah
Look how he's just eating that bug.
God.
And I don't think they can be penetrated by like most of the things that they eat.
You know, they're so durable.
Like I think their claws, like if a wasp tried to sting their claws, I'm not sure if it's
really getting it.
It's got a fucking snake.
What the fuck?
A praying mantis got a snake?
And that's what the name of this video is, is why snakes are afraid of mantises.
Holy shit, dude.
Look at the size difference.
That seems crazy.
That's a big mantis, too, but.
Dude.
Yeah, I have a mantis on my back porch, but he's a small baby.
Keep feeding him your local snakes.
He eats my toads.
Bro, they're amazing.
It's an amazing.
Look at him. Look at a mouse.
Holy... That's so crazy.
Fuck, man. That's so crazy.
That is a monster.
Look at the size of that mouse.
The mouse, like, physically must
weigh more than the praying mantis. We should get a couple.
Shut the fuck up, you evil person.
Get a couple mantises or mice?
Mantises. What, and have them around
and feed them shit? Yeah.
Bro, Jamie's a psycho.
I think, yeah, have it right here.
It doesn't have to be in here.
We could have it, like, near us.
I also think you should just put a big bed here and have Marshall sit right here the whole podcast.
No, Marshall would just run around and get petted by different people.
That's his general move.
He can come in, though.
You want him in here?
I always love seeing that little sweet doggie.
Somebody bring Marshall in, please. He'll come in.? I always love seeing that little sweet doggy. Somebody bring Marshall in, please.
He'll come in.
I just hope he doesn't trip over some wires.
But generally what he does is he'll go to Jamie and get petted,
and then he'll get you to get petted, and then he'll go to me.
He does like a cycle.
See, that's so awesome.
Yeah, that dog is a love sponge.
He's the best.
I want to get more dogs.
I'm addicted to him.
Marshall.
Hey, boys.
It's this little guy.
What's happening, pal?
Come on up here, Papa.
What are you doing?
I love when Marshall...
Do you run Marshall's Instagram?
Come on.
Do you run Marshall's Instagram?
I love that page.
Marshall's the best.
He's the best. He's the best.
He's got his own little rug here, too.
Do you ever let him go?
Do you ever take him to dog parks or anything like that?
Well, when I lived in California, I took him running in the trails a lot.
We did a lot of these hill running places.
There's a lot of really nice trails.
But I was always worried about rattlesnakes.
Yeah.
Because one time, remember I had Frank?
Remember Frank and Lucy, those two dogs I had?
We were running, same trail, and I run over this log,
and as I'm over this log, I realize it's a fucking rattlesnake.
And I'm like, holy shit.
And those two dogs, especially Frank, was crazy.
He got bit by rattlesnakes three times while I had him.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah, because he would bite them. Aren't they poisonous, too? Yes. Yeah, his face swole up. It was crazy he got bit by rattlesnakes three times while I had him yeah cuz he would bite them aren't they poisonous too like yes yeah his face
swole up was crazy I had to take him to the vet and they give him an antivenom
Wow it's very expensive too though the antivenom is very expensive and a lot of
people unfortunately can't afford it I don't know if they have dog insurance
they have dog insurance they must yes anyway, he didn't notice it.
So he was running ahead of me.
And so I stopped and I threw a rock and hit the snake and the snake slithered off into the grass.
But bro, he was as thick as my fucking forearm.
That was a big ass rattlesnake.
They're out there.
Yeah, there's a lot of snakes where I live.
That's what would freak me out about running with Marshall is rattlesnakes.
Because Marshall, he's barked at dogs.
I mean, barked at snakes before.
And he got a possum once, which is very weird.
It was like this.
And he didn't do anything to it.
He was like, what the fuck is going on?
It stopped fighting.
It didn't run away.
He didn't try to kill it.
He was just trying to figure out. But he wasn't he wasn't listening to me i was like come on man
let's go inside but he was like just fixated i'm like what are you doing over there
and then i go and i realize he's got a possum hmm craziness yeah but he's he's a sweetie
this is the first uh golden retriever that i ever had. They're like literally the best dogs.
Yeah.
They're all love, you know?
That's one of the dogs all my friends growing up,
my best friends had golden retrievers,
and I've always wanted a golden retriever,
except I have golden retriever poop,
which I'm not, I don't like that size of poop.
Yeah.
You just clean it up.
You love them so much, it doesn't matter.
I love all dogs, but these dogs,
goldens have like a really loving personality.
All of them.
They're all very sweet dogs.
I've never met a bad golden retriever, I don't think.
Everybody that comes over my house,
he's like, you're my friend.
He's got toys, he brings them.
That's the other thing he does.
If he had a toy in here right now,
he'd like to show you his toy.
Retrievers want to bring things to you, so they always, like,
they have, like, these little stuffed animals, and they bring
them to you. I think it is cute
though, how big he is, but yet he still
has his little toys. Yeah. Oh, no, he's a
sweetie. But all
dogs love toys. They love things to play
with and chew on and stuff. Mine don't.
It's weird. Really? Yeah, they
don't understand what toys are.
Is it because they're real super little?
Yeah, they are little.
Maybe that's it.
Yeah, their mouths can't do anything.
Marshall's going to chill over here by day.
Nice.
He's my buddy.
He watches TV shows.
Do you let him sleep with you?
No.
No.
He sleeps right outside the door.
But he'll sleep and take naps with me watching TV.
So if I'm watching fights or something like that, he'll cuddle.
He'll come up and cuddle right next to me.
He's the best.
As long as he's in contact with you, he'll just lay there and be at peace.
He just wants to have his body on you and your arm on him, and he just chills.
It's a weird dog, man.
He's different than any dog I've ever had.
He's more like a person.
You've always had pretty extreme dogs, though, like warriors.
Except Johnny Cash was
the sweetest, and he was the biggest.
Or that little doggiest.
Well, Johnny Cash was the sweetest
until he met chickens.
When you have a 140-pound
mastiff, and he
decides that he wants to get at the chickens through the chicken coop.
I've told this story on the podcast before.
He got tricked into killing chickens by coyotes.
The coyote was like a coyote that pretended to be his friend.
And the coyote was so clever, it literally talked him into knocking over this chicken coop.
Wow.
Because I had a small chicken coop and then a big one.
And the big one is where they would be most of the time.
The coyotes couldn't get in it.
But the small one would worry to take a chicken when she's brooding.
When a chicken's brooding, they pluck out their own feathers and it's a problem.
They think that egg is going to become a chick and it doesn't.
And the only way to resolve it is you've got to get them in a smaller coop where they have to sit on a rail and stay there for a few days.
And so you feed them.
They stay in a small thing for a few days. And then that cycle is in their head they get over it during that time
this coyote had convinced johnny to go and crush that little chicken coop because johnny was a
huge dog and and so he's like this is what you want you want to get in there it's because the
fucking pool guy had accidentally left the gate open so the mastiff was generally separated from the chickens so he knocks that over and we're all playing games in
the uh living room so we're sitting there i forget what like a card game like uno or some shit and
then as we're looking up we see this fucking coyote jump over the back fence like it's non-existent with a chicken in his mouth I see him running in the backyard by the pool and I think one of my
daughter's spots at first and she's like coyote and we look at like holy shit
he's got a chicken and so we open the door and that we have like it like a six
in a six foot wrought iron fence this thing with a chicken in its mouth just
bounced to the top of that fence,
put its paws on the top,
and bounced off into the hills
with that chicken in its mouth.
Wow.
I was like, wow, respect.
Just respect for the athleticism.
Yeah.
The athleticism that a fucking coyote has.
So they got that one,
and then Johnny realized that chickens are a thing that you should try to get.
So one day the pool guy left the fucking gate open again, and Johnny—
Who's this pool guy?
He was a great guy.
He used to play pool.
I used to actually play pool with the pool guy.
That's hilarious.
But, you know, people make mistakes.
Maybe it wasn't him.
Maybe someone's blaming him.
I don't fucking know.
Point is, Johnny got over to the other side.
And when Johnny got over to the other side, he decided, why don't I just go right through this fucking giant chicken coop and kill everybody?
And by the time I got there, he had killed a bunch of them.
I got there.
I had to pick him up and drag him out.
He was just running around killing chickens.
Wow.
They were all just fucked up.
A couple of them survived which is was horrible
because i didn't know what to do and i was like do i put them down do i see if they make it and
like one of them had this big gash on their breast from his teeth it was horrible but she lived but
i don't remember how many killed but it was quite a few she eat she eat them all? No. No. Our relationship with them
was different. Right. It was like a pet.
They were like a pet that gave you eggs
and there was like an agreement. Like I'm not gonna
hurt you. I'm your friend. I'll pick you up.
I'll pet you. I'll make you feel good. I'm gonna feed you
and you know you never have
to worry about getting eaten.
Right. It was like they give you
eggs. Like isn't that a good deal?
Keep them alive. They have a real social sort eggs like isn't that a good deal like keep them alive they have
a real social sort of situation it was a good sized chicken coop it was bigger than the studio
or this you know where we're doing the podcast so they had like a lot of room to run around they
like post to be on and they you know they get all social together and then occasionally i'd let them
out in the yard but when i let them out in the yard the coyotes were like timing it so one time
i let them out in the yard and we generally would like leave him out there for like an hour or so and then go out and
check on them. But by the time I got out there, a coyote had already jumped the fence and had
killed one of them. And it's just feathers everywhere, man. It was, it was weird.
That's disturbing. I don't know what I would do.
But it's a weird feeling that you're being stalked by predators.
For your pets or whatever. But.
that you're being stalked by predators.
For your pets or whatever.
One time I was in the bathroom and we heard noises and opened up this window and shined a light
on the top of the chicken coop
and there was two coyotes standing on the chicken coop,
clawing at the chicken coop,
trying to figure out how to get in.
Yeah, they were like, you know they're wolves, right?
Yeah.
They're like a little wolf.
Yep.
Little wild little wolves all over Los Angeles.
Isn't that strange?
Yeah.
Was that the first place you ever saw a coyote?
Absolutely, yeah.
And I guess they're here.
Our neighborhood doesn't have a problem with them,
but we have a problem with cats,
leopards or something like that,
or bobcats or something, I don't even know what.
We have a lot of those.
Bobcats.
Yeah, they're all over the place, which I found crazy
because I've never lived anywhere where it was that much.
They'll kill your dog too.
Yeah.
They killed a dog in my old neighborhood.
I'm more concerned about, because we have a fence and everything,
but even though they can just jump over.
But we have a lot of hawks, like big giant hawks, black hawks and stuff like that.
Probably eagles too.
Yeah.
Big birds.
I think there's eagles out here.
Yeah.
If there's not eagles in Texas, they should fucking abort them.
You ain't got no fucking eagles?
There's got to be.
Where the fuck are y'all eagles?
Yeah.
They have to have eagles here, right?
I've seen some big ass predatory birds, but I'm not good at identifying them.
Right.
I see a lot of vultures.
Yeah. A lot of vultures. have you seen a alive armadillo yet I've seen two dead ones but I've not seen an armadillo yet I guess they're all over the place also I think I have I think I have
but I can't quite remember because it was not during me living here this time I think I've
seen a live armadillo on one of our old Texas trips.
I don't think I've seen one while I'm here.
But I have seen a ring-tailed cat.
Have you ever seen those?
I don't know.
Really fucking cool.
Really cool looking.
This thing was running across the road.
I was like, what is that?
And the guy I was with was like, it's a ring-tailed cat.
I was like, what?
That's cool.
Look at that thing.
It doesn't even look like it exists.
It looks like a little avatar, a little fuzzy animal.
Yeah.
Or like something that doesn't belong in North America, like some South American animal.
That's like with the armadillo.
You see one of those things, you're like, what is this dinosaur on the side?
Well, you know, we are so connected to Mexico. And Mexico is so connected to the rest of Central America,
South America.
There's jaguars that get all the way up into Arizona.
Yeah.
Look at that.
Look at that thing.
What is that?
That's what we saw.
That's what it is?
Yes.
Isn't that fucking cool?
That's cool.
That one's got a collar on.
That means he captured it.
That's cute.
That's what I saw.
I was like, whoa, that's real?
Interesting.
What a cutie.
What a fucking cutie.
There's also a fox.
I have a video.
I can't fucking find it.
Of a fox that was in my yard making these crazy fox noises.
Fox noises.
And Marshall, one of the things he does, if he finds fox shit, he lays in it.
He goes and he rubs it around his neck.
So one day, one day he comes in the house and he's just smothered in shit.
I mean his whole wet fox shit all over the side of his neck and his chest.
And he just rolled in it.
I think the fox might have just laid it.
Oh God.
It's like the fox comes in the yard every now and then and hangs out.
It's weird.
Like they don't seem to have a problem with dogs.
Like dogs and them, it's almost like they get along.
Yeah.
Bunnies are like that, too.
I have a horrible bunny situation at my house, and we have about 20 bunnies that live in my yard, and they're just causing hack.
I had parked a car, my Civic, out in my parking lot for, like, a couple days, and they went in there, built nests, and then chew then chewed all my wires and did like $2,000 worth of damage to my car.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Twice they've done it.
And I-
Why don't you leave some carrots out, bro?
I know, that's what happened.
When I first moved there, I was like,
oh my God, these bunnies are great.
And I used to give them carrots and shit like that.
But now they just come up to me
and like sniff my feet and stuff.
Like they're not scared of me or my dogs.
Like they think my dog,
they would just start running around my dogs,
like playing with them and stuff. Really stuff really yeah and it's really weird because
there's tons of them there's not just like two there's like probably about 20 that live in my
yard oh wow and they're baby ones big ones ones that have missing ears and you're like what
happened to you probably a hawk yeah yeah i mean that's the only way to keep their population down
right unless you have big predators.
Yeah.
But they do have fat coyotes out here.
I saw a fat boy.
You've seen coyotes out here.
Well, I saw a photo of one that someone took on my street.
And it was fat.
He was a fat boy.
And then my friend Shay saw a big one.
She said she saw a fat one, too.
I think they have a lot to eat out here.
I think they just keep their mouth shut so they don't get shot.
Yeah.
You notice there's not a lot of howling out here?
No, there's not.
Different world, bro.
Yeah, it's weird.
I hear more gunshots every night.
If you're howling, that means someone's going to find you.
They're probably pretty good at it out here.
Yeah.
Coyotes are a weird animal because they're a small predator that roams around urban areas.
That look like a dog and kind of act like a dog.
Super smart, man.
Yeah.
There's a great book if anybody's interested in coyotes.
It's called Coyote America by Dan Flores, who's a guy who's been on the podcast before and will be again.
He's got a new book coming out in October.
He's going to come back on.
But he wrote an amazing book about coyotes, about how prevalent they are in this country
and how it happened.
Because it all happened because we forced them out of areas.
When you force them out of areas, they expand and they make more coyotes, and then they
cover every city in the entire country now.
Every city in the country has coyotes.
That didn't happen before.
They were mostly in the Midwest.
I don't-
Or in the West. Right. Yeah, I don't... Or in the West.
Right.
Yeah, I don't remember Ohio ever having them.
Yeah, they're in New York City now.
That's so weird.
They're running around in New York City, coyotes.
Weird.
Oh, it's the strangest.
And I think it all happened in the last 50 or 60 years.
They figured out how to kill wolves, right? Way back in the day, the ranchers and
farmers, they basically just poisoned cattle or poisoned horses and they would leave their body.
They'd literally stick like strychnine into a vein and pump it into their body. And then these
wolves would eat the horse or whatever animal they left behind and they would all get poisoned.
And they kept doing that and they successfully did that so many times that they killed off the entire
population of wolves in that area in north america and you know they couldn't do that to the coyote
they were too slick the coyote is like uh i see your fucking game bitch and so when they tried to
push the coyotes out if they shoot them then when the coyotes howl at night, they're doing like roll call. And if one guy's missing, the females start making more puppies.
So female coyotes in stressed, in these stressed little packs, they'll, you know,
they'll have like extra puppies. So like when someone dies, they make more kids and then they
move and they move to a new area. They had establish a new territory but that's how you know when people leave their cats out at night and
you know fluffy never came home yeah well what the fuck are you doing I hate
that there's wolves out there there's literal wolves that patrol your backyard
they're just small enough so you don't feel threatened by them that's all it is
you see that video the other day of a coyote attacking a cat and the cat
defending itself wild it's crazy cat fought it off yeah that cat's a gangster thank God it wasn't a
clog yeah no shit right yeah yeah declawed cats are fucked yeah I'm surprised that's is it legal
still I'm surprised that hasn't been canceled it's not declawed you're chopping the last digit of
their finger oh yeah it's it's a crazy thing you have to do.
And it's weird.
Growing up, we were always like,
no, you have to get it declawed after you need to do this.
Well, cats are weird.
If you have a male cat, you have to get it neutered.
Right.
You know, you have to because they're not going to listen.
Like, you could get a dog, Marshall.
I can keep Marshall from having sex.
It's pretty easy.
Just don't bring him around any hoes. Oh, you didn't his balls no he's got his balls wow so if you but i had this
conversation with andrew huberman who uh is um what's his field of expertise he's an expert in
he's he's from stanford and is like a super genius on uh human performance and physical performance
and like what what causes people to recover quicker.
So he's an associate professor in the Department of Neurobiology at Stanford.
And so he said that when he got his dog fixed, he realized that his dog was just more lethargic
and was having problems getting around.
And he started giving his dog testosterone after he got his dog fixed. was just like more lethargic and was having problems getting around and he
started giving his dog testosterone like after you guys dog fixed and the dog
came back to life again like I was acting better and healthier it's you're
you're taking away not just your dog's ability to reproduce but you're taking
away your dog's ability to develop testosterone and people say well yeah
well then dogs have a higher incident of cancer, of prostate cancer, if they don't get castrated, which may be true.
But it's like that's what a dog is supposed to be.
That's a dog.
Like to save him from prostate cancer, I think what you should do is make sure your dog doesn't breed and make puppies.
Be a responsible dog owner.
make sure your dog doesn't breed and make puppies with a, be a responsible dog owner.
But it doesn't mean, and if you're going to have your dog around other male dogs and it's an aggressive dog, yeah, that's probably not good either.
That's, those are problems.
But for a dog like Marshall, like he doesn't have to get fixed.
Stop.
I definitely want to be a responsible dog owner and I definitely don't want him having
puppies that someone's not going to want or take care of.
That's the problem
I just think it's weird that we do that to animals
But you have to do it to cats was my point you have to yeah
If you don't they piss all over your house like every male cat than anybody has has been castrated
Which is kind of fucked
Kind of fucked mm-hmm you know it's kind of a weird thing like we can keep this pet
We got to chop his nuts off 100% of the time.
Like, you can have a dog like Marshall.
Like, you see, he's five years old.
He has his balls, and he's the sweetest dog in the world.
Like, there's no issues with aggression at all.
It doesn't exist.
But he's got a lot of energy.
He exercises a lot.
We do a lot of stuff.
He has plenty of energy.
My other dog that I had had that I had him fixed, like, later in his life, I had him fixed when he was, like, five.
He got immediately lethargic immediately he was tired all the time I just wanted to lay down and it was sad it made me sad I was like what have I
done and this is like 20 years ago I guess it was like what about 15 years
ago I was like what have I done what have I done like he was healthier before
this yeah I mean my male shih tzu we got have i done like he was healthier before this yeah i mean
my uh male shih tzu we got it later i think he was six or seven he got uh castrated a little late in
his life and he just sleeps all day he's a cat now he did it change after you got yeah yeah 100
and this is not us giving advice like about you know what you shouldn't shouldn't do but i'm just saying that
there's certain animal like it is weird to have a male cat because you have to fix him you have
to cut his balls off if you let a male cat wander around your house first of all that's the most
irresponsible thing because they're gonna fuck everybody they're gonna fuck every cat that's in
heat anywhere in the remote area and there's a lot of bad cat owners, and they let those dirty female cats outside,
and they fuck up a storm and come back,
and they're knocked up.
That's a wildlife.
Imagine being a cat,
like a male cat with your own balls in the city.
Hell yeah.
Just wandering around,
banging, making babies everywhere,
fucking up rats.
With your hooked penis, ripping all that.
That's what's gross, right?
Yeah.
That's what's gross.
But I've met dogs that are fixed, and they're super happy dogs,
and they've got a lot of energy.
It's just from Huberman's perspective.
I think it's the age.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, you're not going to produce testosterone anymore.
It's, look, I know it gives you're not going to produce testosterone anymore it's um look i know it gives you energy i know it helps you recover better i know it does if you don't have that anymore i just would imagine
that you would feel more sluggish that's what happens to guys when they get low t i feel like
i have a low t right now i need to get it checked out I checked it like four years ago And I was on the low side of average
So I was like eh well I'm not going to go crazy on this
Time to start juicing son
Yeah I don't want to do the shots though
Is there any way to not do the shots
That just seems awful
Yeah they have
They had a spray for a while
Oh that's way better
They have gummies
Oh like a drop
It was like there was testosterone drops.
Way better.
They did have gummies because that's what like those baseball players got busted using.
They would take testosterone gummies.
Really?
Yeah.
Imagine if you like gained weight because you got on testosterone because you were just
eating gummies all day.
But you got jacked.
Does that cream work?
The cream?
The cream?
Yeah, it does.
But the problem with that stuff is there's secondary contamination.
Like your skin gets in contact with your wife's skin.
She grows a mustache.
Oh, God.
I'm not kidding.
There's what's going on with this kid.
There was a kid, and his father was using testosterone cream.
And from his contact with it, the kid started going through puberty at two.
He started exhibiting signs of puberty.
What?
But also, I think they said his hog grew.
So, guarantee people are going to start rubbing that stuff on their kids now.
After that story.
Pull that story up, because it's really kind of crazy.
It's nuts.
Like, they realize that this guy is getting this testosterone cream all over his little kid.
Ugh. Ugh.
Yeah. Because it doesn't
just completely go into your skin.
You don't wash it off.
Right? You rub it on. There was a science
version of it, but this is easier to read.
Okay. A two-year-old showed signs of puberty
after he was exposed to his dad's testosterone
gel. He developed pubic hair
and his height was off the charts.
Wow. He's going to be the greatest
athlete of all time. Imagine if they found out.
Look at that. Barnaby Brownswell.
Shit!
Goddamn pop-ups. Barnaby Brownsell
developed a sizable
in quotes penis.
And pubic hair at the age
of two. The kid has a hog
on him.
Now, hold that kid back one year
so that he's the greatest athlete
of all time. Hold him back one year.
On one occasion, she said a stranger
remarked that he looked like a little man.
She said some people had called him
a Viking or Samson because
of his muscular build. But it was
only after brown cells saw pubic
hair around Barnaby's sizable
penis that she got seriously worried.
I knew it wasn't normal, the 43-year-old mom told Insider, noting that her toddler resembled a four- or five-year-old boy.
He'd have massive sustained erections, and his height and weight were off the charts.
Massive sustained erections is the new name of my special.
Massive sustained erections is the new name of my special.
Brown Cell of Brighton, England added he weighed 26 pounds at the age of one.
It put on over two pounds every month between the ages of 12 and 18 months.
It wasn't fat, just muscle.
What the heck?
Oh, my God.
Dr. Tony Hulse, a pediatric endocrinologist at Everlina London Children's Hospital in the UK was somewhat baffled when Brownsell consulted him in March.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
Barnaby had as much testosterone in his system as an adult male.
The guy was going hard.
Father must have been just slathering that's the
problem when you give people testosterone gel they're like i want you to use one ounce right
like what happens if i use 18 ounces yeah was this kid like raging though is he this guy was
probably raging yeah just smothering himself in this thing let me hug the boy let me make a man
out of this boy. That's wild.
He grew a sizable hog.
It's like you kind of want to ask, like, what's that mean?
Like, how many inches? But you don't.
You don't want to ask.
You're not allowed to ask.
You can't be curious about that.
I mean, but they put it in our head.
Sizable, massive, sustained erections.
That's really what it said, right?
Yep.
It said massive, right?
Twice.
Imagine.
Imagine your two-year-old with just a fucking Red Bull can.
Jealous of your kid.
Yeah.
Jesus.
Just like a child's arm.
Imagine a baby having that.
Now that they know, though, this is the problem man they put that
fucking article out and then we just talked about it and now that people know that there's going to
be people out there that do that to their kids also like so what if the kid was just i mean
granted they probably did test and figure it was uh testosterone related but what if he just grew
grew faster than normal kids? No, dude.
That's silly.
You're being a contrarian.
Look at this.
Stop being an aquarium.
Stop being an Aquarius.
Insider reached out to Bezins, the European pharmacy company that manufactures the gel for comma
and is awaiting a response.
Meanwhile, Brown still said that Barnaby's, in quotes,
avoidable condition has taken its toll.
The toxin has effectively distorted his appearance, she said.
We'll never know what he was supposed to look like at the age of two.
Oh, wow.
What does he look like?
Does he look like a little man?
I don't know how old the picture is.
That's him one year old.
It says he's maybe two there.
The size of his dad.
The size of a child at least two years older than him.
That he's muscular and the size of a child two years older than him.
Let me see.
Zoom in on his face.
Oh, there's another picture.
Oh, yeah, back there, back there.
They just had a, no, no, you just passed one.
That's it.
Yeah, wow, that's a two-year-old?
He's got the cheeks like he's on testosterone, right?
The kid looks jacked.
Yeah.
Peter Brownsell applied testosterone gel to his skin every day,
not knowing that the substance was being transferred to his son.
That must make him feel fucking terrible.
Wow.
That picture looks like the kid's raging right now.
Look at how they phrase this.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
You're taking a picture, bro?
She said they were shocked to learn that the generous amount of topical gel that he applied
every day may have caused Barnaby's issue.
The generous amount of topical gel.
He might have been one of those crazy dudes.
He might have been one of those crazy dudes that just couldn't put enough on.
Right.
Fucking raging. Rubbing it on his belly and that's prescription stuff right you would have to get it
prescribed marshall's like what the fuck are you doing trying to take a nap um i think yeah it's
prescription stuff yeah but i don't know you know who knows who the doctor is who knows what theing pharmacy is, who knows what the laws are in the state where he lives in or the place where he lives in.
I don't know how well regulated it is.
Because, like, if they tell you you're only supposed to take X, but you're like, well, I'm going to take Y.
That's generally what guys would do.
Right.
It's like my old joke about big dick pills.
Right.
It'd be 30
seconds before the first guy dies of an overdose like there's no one's gonna
take one but I wonder now if people are gonna start doing this to their kids I
hope not there has to be negative so about it also well might counteract the
plastics maybe that's the move and the pharmaceutical companies all win. We counteract the plastics by applying testosterone gel to babies.
Stupid.
So fucking crazy that that would even be a thought.
But you know what?
This is what's really dumb.
Me just having said that, you know there's going to be a lot of people that are like,
that's actually not a bad deal.
Yeah, let's try it.
That's not a bad idea.
not a bad deal. Yeah, let's try it. It's not a bad idea. If you really think about it,
if we are losing a 50% size count in sperm counts, it's like sperm counts have dropped,
testosterone levels have dropped, taints are shrinking, penises are shrinking, balls are shrinking. What do we do? Lather them up a test. Let's take little Billy. Imagine if you had a twin, and there was two twins, right?
Both boys look exactly the same.
One of them, you just lather him up every day with Test.
And he just towers over the other one like the Hulk, like an ogre.
Just keeps growing.
Giant hog.
Hairy.
Built like a Russian wrestler.
Everyone's going to want to do that.
There's so many people that are going to want to do that.
So many people that want their kid to be in the NFL.
Like, I know how to get him in.
Now I know.
Hold him back.
Get some tea cream.
Do you know, yeah.
Do you know they're probably doing that in China?
Why wouldn't they do that?
If they know that now, if they know that now from this case,
if I know about it, it's on the Internet.
I mean, I saw it tweeted 100 places.
So that's looking this up.
There's a story.
This is the first thing I clicked on.
This is from 2008.
It talks about, I think it says it's, I don't know.
I imagine that means seven and a half, but I don't know what seven slash 12 is.
So it says a very similar thing.
slash 12 is.
So it says a very similar thing.
They had,
they'd found like the pubic hair distribution was that of an,
probably an older kid.
Yeah. It wasn't that abnormal.
The testosterone was very high though when tested.
Hmm.
Yeah.
From their child's father.
It's crazy.
I think it's the same thing.
Look what it says here.
It says the findings were normal for his laboratory evaluation.
Findings were normal for age age except for the testosterone concentration,
which is comparable to a late pubescent and adult male levels of 371 nanograms per deciliter.
Brain magnetic resonance imagery and testicular ultrasonography were normal.
Skeletal age was advanced at 4 and six, 12 years. Okay. At a
six out of 12. Oh, that's what it is. Four and a half, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. So it's four and a
half. Repeated, this is just a scientific paper, repeated laboratory evaluation after the child's
father ceased testosterone use revealed a normal testosterone combination of 10 nanograms per deciliter.
Thus, this boy's sexual precocity was attributed to inadvertent exogenous androgen exposure.
So that means the cream caused his testosterone spike, so his body acted as if it was 13.
Wow.
People are going to do that. And every single girlfriend and wife that dated these guys
probably also have all this testosterone.
Probably horny as fuck.
They're probably horny like two or three.
Hairy lips.
All day, ready to go.
When do you think was the first time a woman decided to shave her legs?
Let's see.
Because that's an interesting move, right?
Like once one lady shaved her legs, all the other girls are probably like, oh, this bitch.
Now I got to shave my fucking legs too?
Look at her with her fucking hairless legs.
Like, when do you think that happened?
Take a guess.
Whenever the razor was probably first invented.
The shaving razor?
But it was a straight edge.
Yeah, not then.
It was whenever they made the actual...
I would say 1935.
1935.
Hmm.
I want to say it was earlier.
I would say earlier
other than later.
I want to say it was in the 1800s.
1800s? Red Band is correct. What was the say it was in the 1800s. 1800s? They started shaving legs. Red Band is correct.
What was the actual age?
Around the 1920s.
Wow.
So all those times in the Old West, everyone had hairy-ass legs.
It says the beauty industry caused it.
Oh, in the roaring 20s.
Hemlines rise and the hair removal industry targets legs.
Wow.
So what did they do then?
So this is 1927, okay?
So women shaving their legs in 1927.
They were on Broadway, so they were slightly atypical for the time.
So that was unusual.
Stop moving.
I'm reading.
So that was unusual for the time, they're saying.
These ladies were on Broadway.
So it says, but during the 20s, knee-high skirts made legs more visible,
and depilatory companies wasted no time claiming their products
enabled a woman to bathe stockingless without self-consciousness.
Bathe stockingless?
So they would bathe with stockings on?
What? So that's how they would bathe with stockings on? What?
So that's how they would cover their hair?
Hope's analysis showed that a relatively small percentage of ads focused on leg removal.
Leg hair removal, what?
In Harper's Bazaar, for example, 66% of the ads mentioned it, but only 10% made it their
sole focus.
66% of the ads mentioned leg hair removal?
Wow.
What the fuck, man?
I guess once you see it once, though, you're like, oh, finally, these ladies.
Stop, stop, stop.
Go back up, please.
Right there.
Briefly, it seemed like depilatories might just be a passing fad.
From 1924 to 1926, ads for them disappeared from the Sears catalog and McCall's,
and most of the ads were seasonal,
running from around April to September,
timing that suggested women
mostly relegated hair removal to summer
when their underarms and legs were exposed.
That didn't last.
So the 50s.
In the 1950s, bare legs become the norm.
So this is an ad from the 50s. Scroll down 1950s, bare legs become the norm.
So this is an ad from the 50s.
Scroll down a little bit.
Look at that.
Give thanks for a hair remover that's kind to your nose and nerves.
Oh, so they were just using poison.
Oh, my gosh.
And just killing the hair.
Yes, it is.
Whisk.
What is that?
Whisk you here?
What?
It's a lot like Nair. So, yeah, it's like Nair. Oh, Whisk is what is that? Whisk You Hear? What? It's a lot like Nair.
So yeah, it's like Nair. Oh, Whisk is the name of the product.
Whisk You Hear, hundreds of fastidious women talking about.
Whisk doesn't smell, doesn't hurt or pull.
It looks for all the world like your favorite cleansing cream.
Breathes faintly a clean, pleasant fragrance, yet almost almost without effort it removes unwanted arm and leg hair
at the skin surface and unlike your razor whisk causes no porcupine after growth discover whisk
today okay now look up dangers of hair removal cream i could tell you i used to do it on my back
when i was single because i didn't want you know you hook up with a girl and because of my back hair and I didn't have a way to like reach it right so
I just pour a bunch of nair on a trash bag and just like roll around on it and would get my crack
my butt crack and stuff it was horrible dude don't recommend zero how does it get it off you
what is it what is it doing to the hair I don't know because I would have to do that and then I
would have to like put a towel down and pretty
much scrape my back on the towel, and it just peeled the hair off.
So whatever it does, it's some kind of peely thing.
Here it says, the chemicals in depilatory... Is that the right way to say it?
That's what you said in the last thing.
Depilatory...
You have to keep going with that.
I don't think I'm the expert in this.
The chemicals in depilatory creams are active formulas meant to dissolve the hair shaft.
Even using such creams on a non-sensitive areas has risks.
Burns, irritation, allergies, the skin around private parts and on the face is very sensitive and vulnerable to such products.
Wow.
So I've seen people that have used it on their face and fucked their face up.
Yeah, that's dangerous.
Yeah.
Didn't Brody, remember when Brody got laser hair removal and they scarred his face?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was so sad about that scar.
He's like, can you see my scar?
You know, that's why he had beards all the time.
Yeah, he, goddammit, that sucked. Yeah, I you see my scar you know that's why he had bummed about beards all the time yeah he uh god damn it that sucked yeah i know why'd you i bummed me out it sucks too because i
i have a lot of friends that have made me uh brody paintings and stuff and so i put have them all
over my house and the other day i was like this can't be good for me because i'm constantly seeing
brody every single day you know and well you just you like get it out of your head that he's dead and just remember with a good
Memory the the memory of him alive was you know so much fun. Mm-hmm. I do miss him though, man
It's yeah, I miss it too sucks
I just I can't imagine the kind of pain that a guy like him was in that he wanted to do that
and we knew that he would you know he'd go off his meds and he would be real sad and
he'd be angry and fucked up and it's a bummer man yeah it's a bummer I've known so many people
that have taken their own life a lot of comedians just janice was talking about this the other day my girlfriend's like just knowing you brian i've known more people die
than i've ever had in my whole entire life just from knowing you know you for six years
and it's true we so many comedians are suffering well it's a difficult thing psychologically for you, you know, to constantly have to get up there and perform for people and hope you don't bomb and, you know, and deal with it when you do and try to write new material.
And you're on one day and you're off the next.
You don't know why.
And then you're back and then you're better and you learn from it and you keep going.
But it's a stressful thing.
Yeah.
It's constant torture almost.
Yeah.
Some people don't like that stress.
It's different for some people.
Some guys like Chappelle just seem to skate through it with ease.
It's one of the reasons why he's so good
is his process is so seamless.
He just comes up with things that mean something to him
that he wants to talk about,
and he just starts developing bits,
and he develops them,
and he just does a shit ton of sets all over the place.
And he turns over an hour quicker than anybody I've ever seen. He, that's what Donnell and I
were talking about it one day, like who turns over an hour quicker than Chappelle? Like nobody.
Like he's like immediately has a new hour. It's pretty amazing. And then it just keeps getting
better and better and better until he's ready to film, you know? And he, but he's like super
commando dedicated, constantly on the road constantly doing that but
for him that's his way of life that's his love and it works but some people just they can't do it
they just it's just too much after a while it's too much you know and then it's also like
interacting with so many people like sometimes that's overwhelming to people.
They don't know how to handle that.
It's weird.
It's weird.
And so some people, they just fucking want to check out.
And then there's also guys that get mad that they don't think that they got what they deserved.
They don't think they achieved.
They look at other people that achieved more than them.
They get upset.
Unfortunately, that was Richard Jenney before he killed himself.
His thing was that he always wanted to be like a Jim Carrey.
He wanted to be that guy that was in these movies and killing it.
And he had a TV show for a while called Platypus Man.
Oh, yeah.
But the thing about Jenney was his stand-up.
His stand-up was fucking sensational.
Like anybody can, not anybody.
I'm not saying anybody can be a comedic actor.
But what I'm saying is every comedic actor can't do stand-up.
And Jenny could do comedic acting.
I'm not saying they can't do stand-up.
I'm just saying most of them don't have the kind of chops that Jenny had.
I mean, I think a lot of very funny people could be good at stand-up, just to be clear.
They just need to go through the proper steps.
It's a long-ass road.
But Jenny had already gone through that road,
and he was doing, like, comedy movies.
But I'm like, hey, man, other people could do comedy movies.
Like, one of the best comics alive.
And he was bummed out.
It bothered him, apparently.
He didn't get the recognition he deserved while he was alive.
But that guy was a fucking stone cold killer his he was like he i learned from him how to make a bit comprehensive like you completely cover the subject like cover all the areas of the subject
because one of the funniest things about him would he would have like killer beat after killer beat
about something and then he would find a new way to look at it need
Come in it from another direction and he would have these bits are like five seven minutes long on this one subject
You're like, holy shit. Is this good?
Just the writing was so clean
It's like so crisp
Do you do you ever take a bit and?
Just try to do it backwards?
I do that a lot where I'll try to start off at the end of the joke and work my way up the other way.
You definitely can.
Yeah, sometimes that's the best way to handle a subject.
Yeah, because you find new little routes that you never would have thought the other way.
Or at least it's something I do once in a while and it works maybe half the time.
But I still find it fun.
It's almost like a, I don't know't know yeah i know what you're saying i think um experimentation like yeah it some of
them fail but some of them it's way better way to do the joke you never know yeah you never really
know yeah that's the crazy thing about comedy people like why did you say that i'm like i don't
know i said i was trying, trying to make something funny.
It might not be,
you know,
and you have like these split second moments.
We have to decide whether or not you should try out this bit or try out this.
Like you have a thought in your head and sometimes it just doesn't work.
Sometimes right when you say you're like,
no,
I'm going here.
I'm doing this.
No,
I didn't. And then you're stuck.
Then you're stuck.
Like,
what have I committed to?
I got off.
It's basically like falling down when you're riding a dirt bike.
Get back up.
Keep going.
Don't commit to being the thing that falls down.
Right.
You know?
But it's the pain of a bomb is just so rough for people.
You know?
It's such a rough feeling that they just don't know if they can keep doing it.
You know?
It gets to a point where some people are like can't i just can't do this anymore yeah but usually that that feeling of the bomb
if not the next time the time after that you have that really good set you're like god i feel i feel
that better now you know because you realize like probably you were a little sloppy that night or
maybe you were off or maybe your energy was off maybe you're tired that's that's a problem yeah that's why it's like i think it's kind of important to be a little nervous for every
set really do like some people want to be calm i don't think we should be that calm i think a
little nerves are good for you once you know you're alive you're taking a risk you know
doing live stand-up it's a risk you know luckily Luckily, Texas is the nicest, best audiences in the world probably.
They're so fun.
LA is like, oh, these are all managers and people in the business.
They don't laugh at shit.
It's true, right?
Why was the Ice House always so good?
Because it was regular people.
Yeah, it was regular people.
Pasadena people, regular folks.
100%.
They weren't industry people.
There were so many
industry adjacent people
that I didn't know about
until later.
Like you already become
friends with them
and you realize that
they wanted to be an actor
but it didn't work out
and now they're selling
insurance or whatever.
And there's like a lot
of those around too.
So they're like really
interested in the industry.
So even if they bailed
like oh,
I was a commercial actor
but it was just too much.
I wasn't making enough money
and I decided to invest in my education and now I'm doing this. It's
still, it's like they wanted that. That's what they wanted. So there's a lot of those
people. Not that there's anything wrong with wanting that. What I'm saying is when you
get a lot of people that want that, that are just, the number one thing is this is what
I want to do. I want to act in great films and I want to be a great artist, but also
I got to get famous to be able to do that. So how do I get famous? And so it's like a race to popularity.
Try to figure out how to get popular, to move yourself in a position
that you can be considered to be doing these things like The Rock.
He's the ultimate example of that.
And so there's so many of those folks there that have that thought.
So there's so many people that are seeking attention.
It's like an imbalance.
You always want to have one of those.
Like my friend Dave that I was telling you about.
He was the guy that was like the center of attention.
He was the guy we would go somewhere
and he would always be cracking people up.
He was making everybody laugh.
That was his, but if you can't,
you can have hundreds of those
stacked on top of each other
and they don't get to fulfill their dreams
and they get stuck as a waiter
and then maybe they had a fucking motorcycle accident, whatever, and then that's your audience. You get a lot of that.
You get a lot of people that are on their way up and think they should be up there, not you.
You know, you get a lot of that, but it's also like a good proving ground because it's a difficult
spot. If you, if you murder like at the store, like that's a, you must have some solid shit.
You know, if you could take
people out of whatever it is that occupies their their life and their attention that they're
obsessing about and a lot of people in hollywood it's you know whatever they're trying to do
whether it's trying to be a an actor or a musician or a screenwriter whatever the fuck it is they're
they like they're so obsessed with that it's probably hard to get them out of their own head
so if you can kill in front of those people, that's a good sign.
So that's a good part about living in L.A., is that it's like a strength training for other places.
When we would go to Columbus, that's a great example.
When we would go to Columbus, the crowds were always so good.
They were so fun.
You that Funny Bone?
Yeah.
Fuck, that place was amazing.
It's my home club.
That's a fucking amazing club
i mean we'd be like god the audiences are so good here it's just because you were used to that
you know yeah that sort of vibe yeah it's like texas like for the most part people come out
here to have fun drinks you know texas people love to party you know and yes they do love to
party it's pretty crazy they're wild folks um it's just a fun place yeah and it's not connected to the industry
that's the thing it's like but I think with you look at that number of four
million podcasts whoa like maybe it is like maybe the industry now is podcasts
right maybe that's a big part of the industry and maybe the industry almost
like becomes something that everybody does.
Everybody has a podcast.
Or they're streaming videos.
Like everyone has YouTube.
Circle back on that.
I had the MO.
Okay, here it is.
Cumulative podcast listed on iTunes June of 2007 to June of 2015.
So active podcast.
So in 2000, when does it start? 2007? Yeah. That's when this church starts. Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. So when we come in. 2007. We're coming in 2009. Nine. We're in the middle there,
right there between nine and 10. It's June. Okay. So that's like right in the center.
So that gets us up to. 10,000 maybe 12. Well, yeah, there's like active and non-active, right?
There's a description of what that means.
It's closing in on 50,000 though.
Can I just go back to that little chart thing for a second?
Between where we start, it's like at the high end, it's getting close to 50,000.
So it's probably like 40,000.
But that's even...
So what an active podcast was, was a podcast putting up two episodes a month.
Boy, we were off.
I would have never thought that.
I was going to say 1,000.
It's almost 50,000.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, so we were by, we were OGs only, you know,
in the roughest sense of the word.
Right, yeah.
Like there was a lot of people already doing it.
I think also the the if
from what i remember about podcasts at the very beginning was that a lot of them were tech-based
podcasts and because only people that listened to podcasts were people that were nerds and techie
and stuff like that it wasn't mass when the true crime genre also their twilight came out
they had to go with tech because it was really hard
to get them onto your device to listen to
and then also the length couldn't
be more than an hour. It would take up so much
space yet to delete songs.
I think there was a lot of techie
podcasts back then, but they were not
even really podcasts. They were just kind of like
WAV files
of people talking about stuff.
You could download WAV could download wave files yeah
yeah what do you think um is the future do you think it's going to be that ar shit that you
or the the vr shit that you like to do yeah well i already see just by numbers alone that people are
more watching youtube videos and watching it on youtube instead of audio-based thing.
It's like drastic in the last couple of years.
And I think it's just because everyone's phones have the speed now
and the quality and stuff, and it's just easier to watch on video.
I do think, though, the future is probably going to start
when Apple releases their AR VR headset,
which will probably be next year.
And that's going to be like the podcast or the iPod when that came out.
And people are going to be communicating so much using that.
That's going to be weird, dude.
So, yeah, I think VR kind of AR VR is probably going to be the next podcast.
And, you know, that's what I've been trying to do for a while,
just, you know, to get my feet in the ground and stuff like that.
And I can already tell it's just so much better.
Yeah, you're way ahead of the curve.
You're way ahead of the curve.
You're already doing these things where you meet up with people
and like a fake diner.
And half the people work at Vulcan.
It's cool.
It's cool.
And I'm fascinated by it because I think this is step one
on the way to the Matrix.
Yeah.
I really do.
Yeah.
I mean, this is Ready Player One.
We're going there.
We're 100% going there.
They're going to get way better at it.
They're going to get better
and they're going to get better quick.
And it's going to happen before you know it.
And it's going to be so tempting.
It's going to be so hard to pick mushrooms.
It's going to be so hard to go out there
and fucking, let's go fly fishing. We didn't catch shit. I could
have been on Avatar. I could have been riding
around on dragons all day and I'm hanging out with you
assholes. I might get eaten by a bear.
What the fuck are we doing out here, man? Let's go
home and lock in. And everyone's going to
lock in because it's going to be so much better
than regular life.
I'm scared of that, Brian. And there's drugs.
Like, you know, this thing we play,
we have this place that we go to,
and you can take the VR version of DMT, and it starts off,
you start seeing trails, and you start having the Buddha come out of the ground
with all these.
And we're literally doing fake drugs in a fake world.
It's so weird.
Because your brain doesn't know the difference.
Your brain's thinking you're tripping balls right now.
Like it's telling your brain you're tripping and hallucinating.
You know, McKenna actually prophesied this.
He said that he thinks they'll be able to recreate the DMT realm and that in doing so with virtual reality,
you will be able to experience the drug without having to take the drug and that you'll have the exact same experience.
But he was like, you know, he was a guy that would make these wild, wild predictions about
the future, you know, and I think he just liked to get really, really high and he was
super duper smart and he would talk about stuff and some of it wasn't like totally on
the money, but it was always interesting, always interesting.
And that was one of his big ones that you could they would be able to recreate DMT to the point
where you could see it in like a VR type setup and you would actually have the
trip but he also thought that he was a guy that was like really interested in
the December 21st 2012 date remember I used to have that license plate mm-hmm
December 21st yeah because that was the the year that they thought in the world
was gonna end the the Mayans we're going to have that what is this this is a game
called ayahuasca oh yeah oh we've kind of played this before right I don't know
I think we did yeah we did it was really cool yeah it's amazing snakes are
rolling around you're tripping balls.
Yeah, I wonder, I mean, this is probably pretty crude, right? I mean, pretty amazing, but crude in comparison to not being able to distinguish whether or not you're there or not.
That's when it's going to get good enough to you, you might actually start tripping.
That was McKenna's thought. But the thing he thought was going to happen on December 21st, 2012, he thought it might be the invention of a time machine. That's right. Yeah. That was
his, uh, that was his most interesting idea. And he's probably right. It probably happened.
We just don't know about it. And that's why that's about the time of the, the world started
to end. Right. Well, when did that VR stuff come out? I was not, that's pretty close to
then, right? Oh yeah. Oculus dev kit i have it it's kind of
around then yeah about that exact day well vr had been around for a lot longer i know but it just
had never gotten to the like sophisticated home use like stage that everybody thought it was going
to like technology had to catch up with the idea like the idea was amazing but technology couldn't
implement it quick enough you know like what are the years it was like the first
virtual reality
Movies because there was movies
Remember that yeah, no he got super duper smart right didn't he get like downloaded into a computer or some shit
There was a Stephen King book. I believe that was a guy. Yeah
Stephen King is the shit. He's the shit.
Who has created, even though he's crazy on Twitter, who has created more, I'll give him
a free pass to talk crazy on Twitter for the rest of his life.
That guy made some of the greatest books ever for horror enthusiasts.
Has he ever been on here?
No.
Oh, gosh.
He probably just yelled about Trump.
He's like very, very political.
I just rewatched Misery the other day.
I love him, though. I don't care. I'm teasing.
I'm just playing because he's just super politically
active, but he seems like a great guy.
And his fucking work
is magnificent.
You go back to The Shining.
God damn, that's a good book.
There's a lawsuit about the movie.
Oh, no. The film originally titled
Lawnmower Man, Stephen originally titled Lawnmower Man,
Stephen King's Lawnmower Man,
differed so much from the source material
that King sued
the filmmakers
in 1992
to remove his name
from the title.
King stated that
in court documents
that the film
bore no meaningful
resemblance
to his story.
He bitches a lot,
though,
about the movies.
Like,
he hated a lot of
Maximum Overdrive, didn't he?
He didn't like The Shining.
The Shining, that's right.
He made his own Shining.
With the dude from Wings. Remember that dude from Wings?
I was super pumped to see him next.
I met him. I'm like, I know that dude.
I met him at NBC party.
Wings dude.
He didn't like that Jack Nicholson appeared to be crazy already.
You know, like he wanted the house to like slowly take over.
And this like in his book, it's a really gradual transformation and it's fucking creepy.
His book is amazing.
It's amazing.
And those were the days when he was getting
fucked up like he had these fucked up ideas coincidentally while he was getting fucked up
he was doing bags of coke and drinking cases of beer he doesn't even remember writing kujo i think
it was yeah yeah i mean i don't want to tell him to keep doing that but Do it. Do it. No, no, no. I think he did it.
He did his time.
He did his time.
Let him write books on the natch now.
But goddamn, when that guy was lit, he made some of the craziest books ever.
I would love to have him just get really into DMT and mushrooms and write a book.
Dude, Pet Sematary scared the fuck out of me when I was a kid.
Great movie. When I would take the T to Taekwondo, I would read books.
That's what I was.
I was always reading Stephen King books.
That was always what I was reading.
I remember reading that just being freaked the fuck out.
That was such a good book.
All but Carrie.
Carrie was amazing.
Carrie was awesome.
Fuck.
The movie was cool, but God damn it.
New one's not.
Oh, I haven't seen it.
Oh, God.
I haven't seen it. What is God. I haven't seen it.
What is it?
It was horrible.
When did they redo it?
I don't know.
It's one of those movies that I watched it maybe a month ago, watched it, and I was so
upset that I then turned around and watched the original one right after it.
And the original one holds up everything so perfect about it that it didn't need to be
remade.
And then this one's just kind of like.
Why do you think they do that?
I don't know. They redid Fireid fire starter too yeah I never saw that yeah what was it it was fire starter right that they redid fire
starting with the one no what was the one where the girl can like start fires
with her eyes drew Barrymore right yeah that's a Stephen King one right yeah
isn't it yeah I think so that was wasn, wasn't that Stephen King? Yeah, it's actually coming out this year. But they did redo it, right?
Like Drew Barrymore did it back in the day.
Carrie might be the best movie.
Carrie.
That ever, like, came out of a Stephen King book.
That might be the best movie.
Yeah, it's just you feel so bad for her.
You feel so bad for her.
You're happy when she starts wrecking shit.
Yeah, and the mom.
But that, like, represents in people, in people the same thing as the Hulk.
This thing where you deserve it, you motherfucker.
When they would fuck with Bruce Banner,
and he'd be like, you're making a terrible mistake.
And they would laugh at him.
Look how cute she was.
Really cute.
Lighting shit on fire with her fucking mind.
Yeah, there's the differences.
Whoa. So that's the differences. Whoa.
So that's the new girl?
Who's that girl?
Who's the new girl?
So when did they do the new one?
Just now.
This year.
Oh, is that another one?
It just came out.
What's the one on the left there?
Is that the new one?
Oh, that's the new one.
Huh.
Interesting.
What reviews did it get or hasn't come out yet?
That I don't.
But it is interesting.
They want to like read.
How many Spider-Mans have they done?
The origin story over and over and over again.
They have the same story with different guys.
I know.
I like the new guy.
They're not really the same story though.
They're kind of different.
Settle down, nerd.
No, I'm just saying.
Hey.
I mean, I didn't even get into that.
There's like the original Spider-Man.
There's Amazing Spider-Man. What is your favorite? There's different versions of hey. I mean, I didn't even get into that. There's like the original Spider-Man. There's Amazing Spider-Man.
What is your favorite?
There's different versions of them.
I know my answer.
I know your answer.
My answer is Enter the Spider-Verse.
Yeah.
The animated one.
Black Spider-Man.
Black Spider-Man is the best Spider-Man.
That's Miles Morales.
Yep.
Is that what it is?
That work is amazing.
The film is amazing.
The new one's coming out.
But you know what's dope about it?
Is it's like it's realistic enough.
It's like really. It's really intricate
animation, but you can do
things with animation you can't do with
people. And it is a goddamn comic book
movie, ultimately. I wonder
if they could do that with the Avengers and it would be better.
Probably. Well, I don't know.
That's a fine line because the fact
that Spider-Pig in that
movie worked so well.
I thought I was going to hate that movie so much
when I heard about there's a pig in Spider-Man.
I was like, this is going to be
the dumbest movie in the world.
No, it wasn't.
It was good.
So good.
It was creative.
But it was also, it's like,
it made me realize you can do things with cartoons
you can't do with real people.
Like South Park.
Yeah.
Impossible to do that show.
The greatest comedy show in the history of human race.
Right.
Right?
Agreed?
I agree. Everybody agrees. You can't do it with regular people. You can never have that show. The greatest comedy show in the history of human race. Right. Right? Agreed? I agree.
Everybody agrees.
You can't do it with regular people.
You can never have that show.
Yeah.
You have to have that show with animation.
And the genius of them and what they've created is you can get away with the most offensive
shit with terrible animation.
Like real blocky.
Like when that dude, the teacher, sticks Paris Hilton up his ass.
Oh, yeah.
Remember that?
Remember that?
Yes.
Deadpool's gotten close. Deadpool is pretty good. I like Deadpool. How has Deadpool gotten close? Oh, yeah. Remember that? Remember that? Yes. Deadpool's gotten close.
Deadpool's pretty good.
I like Deadpool.
How has Deadpool gotten close?
Is it a lot of CGI?
It's a lot of jokes.
Just silly jokes referencing each other.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it's definitely funny.
But what I'm saying is that with animation,
you could do stuff that you can't do.
At the end of the day, these are all CGI, too. They're mixing in some of right like spider-man CGI clearly like no human being can move that way
But the thing is like everything else is real like when you it's almost like suspension of disbelief is more fun
If it's all just a complete animation like I used to love
Animated films when I was a kid and they weren't that good
like I used to love animated films when I was a kid and they weren't that good but there was something cool about a whole movie that was animated like did you ever see wizards I saw
I've seen almost every cartoon movie yeah wizards was amazing I saw wizards and I had a wizards
poster in my room god I wish I fucking still had that oh you could still get it you can get one
because I uh uh it's the one where he's's sitting on top of the back of a thing.
Yeah, you could buy that poster easily.
That one right there.
Oh, okay.
Jamie, please get on that.
Yeah.
They got that at a buyer.
Get us a big one.
Buy it right here.
Oh, good.
Amazon.
Oh, Jesus.
That's amazing.
Do you think we could get a giant metal one of the red one?
Absolutely.
Go to that red image that you just showed before that.
The one, that one, yeah.
Make that a little larger.
What if we got a giant metal print of that for the studio?
Fuck yeah, right?
That was, I was a little kid.
My stepdad took me to see that.
I was probably like eight or nine.
I like on the back of his saddle it says peace.
What, yeah.
It's a wild ass movie, man. says peace what yeah it's a wild ass movie
man it's great it's a wild ass movie and it was like what year is it 77 yeah so
I was 10 I guess Wow Wow but play some of that yeah so it was a cool like
apocalyptic movie and it was about these I don't want to spoil alert it's only 50 years old but these these brothers 20th century Fox presents wizards there's
like a good brother and a bad brother see epic born in the mind of Ralph
Bakshi the master of animated magic look how cool this looks yeah it's rotoscoping
right there I mean it's it's a window in time.
You know?
Avatar.
So the good guy's like a cartoon dude.
Right.
So the good guy's like a cartoon dude.
Right.
But it's like an animated movie for adults. Whoa.
Evil.
Oh, I forgot about the Hitler part.
Yeah.
I forgot about the Hitler part.
Yeah.
So you've got to realize, this is probably near the end of the Vietnam War.
Yeah.
People are on acid and so on.
When did the Vietnam War end, Jamie?
Don't answer this.
Wait.
Oh.
Look at this.
Remember Felix the Cat?
Yes. I do. You remember R. Remember Felix the cat? Yes.
I do.
You remember R. Crumb?
Oh, yeah. We brought up R. Crumb the other day on the podcast.
Like, that guy had some wild shit.
April 30th, 1975.
75.
Wow.
So this is two years after the end of the Vietnam War.
And this is an anti-war cartoon for adults.
I need to re-watch this.
It's been a while.
Fuck, this looks amazing.
You just got to realize.
They'll be like, this looks amazing.
It looks fucking stupid.
It looks amazing because we're looking into a window in time.
You're looking into 1977.
It's amazing because you're looking into they've never been like animated movies
like that before not like that like when when did animated movies like the Disney
movies those were all like really cool and everything but they were you know
they were these are mainstream sort of princesses and witches.
Kids movies.
Were they, though?
I mean, Snow White was definitely not for adults.
I don't know about that, man.
I think back then they were probably for everybody, because the money would be in everybody.
Like, when you think about, I haven't seen a Disney movie, like the old school Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I haven't seen that in forever.
Oh, you got it.
Fox and the Hound is a good one.
I'm a hound dog.
If you think about those things, man, those are also like a weird window in time.
You know, it's really strange.
If you go to the Disneyland in California, they have a theater where you can watch
the oldest Mickey Mouses.
Right.
Watch the really old ones.
Yeah.
Wild, dude.
Yeah, I saw that.
It was cool.
But it's just a weird window
into people back then.
The old Popeyes,
you ever watch those?
Of course.
Dude,
they're the rapiest cartoon
that's ever existed.
Bluto was always just trying to grab Olive Oil, literally trying to steal her.
And Popeye always had to fight.
That's probably a window into what kind of people were alive back then, right?
Mm-hmm.
You've seen the Robin Williams one, right?
That was amazing.
I just rewatched that.
That's a good one also.
That was good.
Wow.
Williams one right that was just rewatch that that's a good one a so yeah that was good Wow but it's like those early ones the early ones were really
disturbing like Brutus should be killed yeah he was kidnapping a woman over and
over he's a kidnapper he should be jailed and still all poppity stay away
from me girl he beat his ass every week, but, I mean, after a while, that had to get tired.
No law enforcement back then.
No police.
Right?
Did they ever get in trouble for anything?
Did they have a cop character?
I think they probably did.
See if you find, like, a really old Popeye cartoon.
Old Popeye.
Because back then, who was that for was that for little kids to see that
Brutus is trying to steal but like literally sex traffic yeah you wouldn't think that would
be marketed towards kids would you what is he doing to olive oil why is she screaming
how come no one's helping he's dragging her away he's's a giant dude with a huge beard. I mean, I liked Popeye as a kid
though, so. Pride
the Bride and Gloom.
54. 1954.
Look at this. They're sitting really
apart from each other holding hands on the couch.
Oh, there's a cop. It's getting late, Popeye. You have to go.
Popeye's in love. Their hearts are flying off of them. They're in love.
Look at this.
Look at all the heart stuff.
Popeye accidentally put on her hat.
He gave her a kiss on the lips.
Look at that.
He just came.
He just nutted.
Full on.
Right?
Look at him.
He's floating on air.
Yep.
That's how you feel right after you nut.
Oh, no.
And he floats over to a cop.
Oh, God.
And he kisses the cop on the cheek.
Cop doesn't do shit.
He literally just sexually harassed that cop.
You were allowed to do that back then.
Yeah. Nowadays, you'd get shot. Look. The cop, he got red in the face. do shit he literally just sexually harassed that cop you were allowed to do that back then yeah he
nowadays you'd get shot look the cop he got red in the face he came to think he liked it i think
he was embarrassed i think he came yeah i just found out yeah now he knows he's gay so there's
like oh my god the photograph of popeye is there while she's undressing. So she had to turn the photograph around.
She's wearing a full-on
dress. Yeah.
And she's dreaming.
She's dreaming of marrying Popeye.
Aww. She's about to get some.
That's sweet.
That's sweet.
Do you take this woman
to be an awful widow?
What? No Bluto?
That doesn't make sense. They didn't understand you have to have an antagonist Take this woman. I might pick one without blue. Go. What's no blue though?
What they didn't understand you have to have a
Antagonist and a protagonist one. Yeah fine. Well blue though find a black and white one if you yeah
It got remastered. Why is he got to pull out the spinach? What happened? It's gonna fuck people up. Here he goes
Oh He had to he had to get his spinach to be able to say I do.
Oh, my God.
That's a Herculean effort.
That's ridiculous.
Find one of them old black and white ones.
It's 1933.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
20 years earlier.
Holy shit.
Wasn't it?
The other one was 54?
Wow, blow me now.
Dude, holy shit.
That's crazy. Yeah, this is a good one. Wasn't it? The other one was 54? Well, blow me now. Dude, holy shit. That's crazy.
Yeah, this is barely even animated.
Oh, my God.
It's like real.
Wow.
This is a good Popeye.
This is the real Popeye.
1933.
He's on top of one of those whales.
So do you think they made these for kids, or did they make these for adults?
I don't know, man.
I guess they would have made these had they been made for kids.
Because when I was a kid, where'd they show them?
They probably showed them at the movie theater.
I heard a lot of people got mad when I was looking up the thriller stuff.
That got showed before Fantasia in 1983.
Before a movie?
Yeah.
Was that before it was on MTV?
Around the same time.
They tried to win an Oscar with it.
Oh, wow.
No shit.
They had to have it in the theater.
Oh, my God.
That's amazing.
Look at this.
This is very racist. Every Mexican is hiding, waiting to have it in the theater. Oh my God, that's amazing. Look at this. This is very racist.
Every Mexican is hiding, waiting to pounce on Popeye.
Oh, he just punched that dude in the mouth for smiling at him.
Oh, wow.
Look how she's dancing.
Look how she dances and look at the guy staring at her.
Look, she had sexier clothes back then than she did at the one 20 years later.
Times have changed.
After the roaring 20s. She had shaved legs. Oh no, she had a stock later. Times have changed. After the roaring 20s.
She had shaved legs.
Oh, no, she had a stocking.
Stockings.
Look at the stockings.
They go way high.
Look how high the stockings go.
They didn't even have a second World War yet.
Do you think that's why women wore those stockings with the clips?
Remember?
Garters.
Those old timey ones?
Garters.
The black stockings.
That would be like more sexy.
Do you think that's why they did it?
Heck yeah. It's not just to keep their legs warm? No, it camouflaged their hair. The black stockings that would be like more sexy you think that's why they did it heck. Yeah
It's not just to keep their legs warm. No, it's see it camouflage the hair. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah, maybe I
Mean look at that girl in the back. She has a beard
when I was when I was like
18 or 19 I did this girl who was like this hardcore feminist and all of her friends were
hardcore feminists too. It was very interesting. It was when I was, uh, I met her when I was
teaching Taekwondo and she and her friends did not shave. She was blonde and it's like,
you couldn't really see the hair on her legs, but her friend was Greek and it was wild. She had like
foot hair, like me, like i have foot hair she had foot hair
she was very nice it's like she didn't want to fucking shave her legs i'm like okay
when i was 18 you know i was uh i was open to any and all ideas i was like i don't care
do whatever you want really yeah yeah when i was 18 i was trying to figure out what the fuck i was
um who am i to tell someone they can't to tell someone they don't have to shave their legs
or they have to shave their legs? It's like, who gives a shit? I was young. And after a
while, I realized if you could shave your legs, wouldn't you? They look so much better.
I don't think you should have to shave your legs. I'm not telling you what to do. But
I think there's a reason why they're all shaving it. It's interesting, like pubic hair.
I used to have that bit where I was like, if scientists from the future, or aliens rather,
if they were trying to study the human race, they would go, what happened to pubic hair?
It just all went away.
There was nothing written.
There was no doctrine.
Thou shall now shave thy pubic hair to support the continent.
No, it was just people just started watching porn.
And they went, oh, let's get rid of that.
And they all shaved their pubic hair.
It all went away.
Right?
Until it didn't, and then girls brought it back because it's kind of crazy.
Like, look at her.
She's got pubes.
It's out of control.
But that's like one of the weird victories that porn had over culture.
Because it's almost a given that there's some maintenance done down there.
Right.
Right?
Do you remember when you were in high school?
Yeah.
When girls didn't do nothing?
Right.
It was chaos.
Yeah.
Madness.
Insane.
I did this Italian girl.
It's not fair.
Ah, ooh.
Jesus, Italian girl?
Yeah, she was hot.
No one cared, though.
That was the thing.
It's not like having a crazy hairy uh
vagina was bad nobody cared like they decided to care somewhere along the line people decided to
care it became an issue i wonder if a lot of disease and stuff went up after that because
you know the pubic hair is pretty much there to protect the vagina like filter it's like the eyelash of the is that true i think so i think it's that's what it's
for it's too right is that real like that doesn't seem like it gets stuck in there and stuff because
the opening is still the same it's all around the outside not when you got a big bush you know
i think it's more uh to keep it warm warm yeah i swear to god it's more to keep it warm warm. Yeah, I swear to God
It's probably important to regulate heat. I swear to God I read this but listen if you think about it right probably a hustler
you think about it with with
Men in particular our testicles are outside of our body
It's a very vulnerable position and until we figured out
Pants and jock straps and shivs probably always getting scratched on leaves, and it probably had to stay warm somehow.
So I wonder if dudes' dicks have gotten less hairy.
Dr. Redband is, right?
Back in the day.
Dr. Redband!
Protection from bacteria and other pathogens.
What? You're right.
Pubic hair serves a similar function to eyelashes or nose hair.
Oh, my God, you nailed it.
Did you just guess that?
Did you just guess that?
Yeah.
That's amazing.
You could have taken place this whole fucking study. It my God, you nailed it. Did you just guess that? Did you just guess that? Yeah. That's amazing. You could have taken place
this whole fucking study.
It should have just come to you.
Imagine how much money
they spent on that study.
Put it back up
so I can keep reading it.
That is traps, dirt, debris,
and potentially harmful microorganisms.
In addition,
hair follicles produce sebum,
an oil which actually prevents
bacteria from reproducing.
Do you think that's what
I wonder, listen to this,
what if washing
our hair is the reason why
people get like crabs and stuff?
Like bacteria and pathogens, like
weird stuff that like we get in our body.
I wonder if like your hair, all of your
body, everywhere, protects you
from a certain amount of interaction with bacteria
Mm-hmm
If like you just let it be what it is and don't wash it all the time
Like if all those oils in your skin if all those I wonder if that like helps protect you from because that's one thing that
People fuck up when they get ringworm
Guys who don't know any better they use antibacterial soap on their whole body for ringworm.
Oh, and it kills everything.
Kills everything.
Kills all of your biome.
So I knew this dude that I used to do jiu-jitsu with, and he got ringworm.
He's trying to hide it.
Because a lot of guys want to keep training.
They don't want to tell you that it's ringworm.
But it's fucking ringworm.
And sometimes you have to pull a guy aside and go, hey, man, you got to get out of here.
You got ringworm, bro.
And this guy, he used bleach.
Jesus.
Yeah.
He used bleach.
And it fucked his skin up.
And he started getting more of them.
And it was like he was developing, like, rashes all over.
Because his body's defense didn't kill all off the ringworm.
And his body defensed to it, like, apparently, like, in his situation.
I think it's just it was ignorance back then.
No one really had, there was no, like, resources in terms of, like, Google search where you could get a detailed, maybe, I'm talking like 98?
Somewhere around then?
Was there, like, a search where you could, well, either way, he didn't fucking search, okay?
He put bleach on his skin.
Jesus.
Yeah, and he was using antibacterial soap.
So he was just torching his natural skin biome.
Wow.
This is semi-contradictory, just only in the sebum thing.
It just says they don't know what sebum does.
Okay, it says sebaceous glands produce an oily substance
termed sebum, the function of which is unknown.
In fact, the skin of children and the palmar and plantar skin of adults function well without
sebum.
Sebaceous glands are part of the pilosabaceous unit and so are found wherever hair follicles
are located.
In addition, ectopic sebaceous glands are often found on mucus membranes where they may form small yellow papules called four dice spots.
In the skin, sebaceous glands are most prominent in the scalp and face and are moderately prominent on the upper trunk.
The size and secretory activity of these glands.
Imagine if you're like a science person
and you're listening to me read this.
You shut the fuck up.
The sebaceous glands in newborns are enlarged.
So what is this saying about it?
The last article we said,
it just said sebum is antibacterial
and this says it's unknown what it is.
So, but even though it's unknown what the function is does it is it known
whether or not it's antibacterial the function of which might be unknown but it still might have
antibacterial properties can you see uh just google does sebum have antibacterial properties
well all right you know what i'm saying yeah i know the function could be unknown but it might
also just do something you know sometimes things have like a secondary effect.
I'm trying to be a scientist, bro.
I'm not even trying to do some science in these bitches.
Sebum fatty acids enhance the innate immune defense.
Click on that one up there.
That's a PubMed article.
Yeah, but I just want to hear the title. Sebum-free fatty acids enhance the innate immune defense of human sebocytes by upregulating beta-defensin-2 expression.
So it enhances the innate immune defense of human whatever the fuck a sebio-site is.
I'm just going with that.
Yeah, so it says sebum may also act as a delivery system for antioxidants and antimicrobial peptides.
Such molecules with antimicrobial properties are cathelicidin, soracin, dermacidin, Dermcidin? Jesus, these fucking names.
Human HBD2.
Interesting.
I mean, it's really interesting.
Like, if you think about how many things we've done to ourselves, we didn't really realize it was bad until it was too late.
Like, those women that used to work with radium,
when they used to, like, use radium paint,
and they would lick their tongue, and they were all all developing cancer we had no idea that was happening i got i got these
four five garfield cups from mcdonald's from 1980 or 1979 do you remember those glass ones that have
garfield on it yeah i got them because i i had one and i was like i could get them all on ebay
bought them been using them found out that they were recalled because it had 10,000 times the amount of lead in the paint that's healthy or something.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
But those were for kids' toys, and McDonald's has done it four times.
They did it with Shreks.
It's pretty crazy.
McDonald's keeps on trying to poison the kids with lead paint.
Well, I would imagine if they have those toys.
The problem is those toys.
Right.
You know those you get those happy meals with the toys?
Yeah.
How do you make a plastic toy and make sure it's not fucking...
Where are you buying them?
Right, China.
Yeah, where are you getting them made?
You're getting them made as cheaply as possible to shove into that
because it's $1.99 or whatever it is for all that calories.
That's what's fucked.
What's fucked is the cheapest food is the worst for you with the most calories.
And it's so easy to get.
Yeah.
Just pull in and you get it.
Why is there not healthy fast food?
Like, real healthy fast food?
Nobody wants it.
Shut the fuck up.
But they haven't really, have they even really tried it?
I think it's harder to do because you have to prepare things fresh.
More expensive. I think the closest you get do because you have to prepare things fresh. More expensive.
I think the closest you get to that is In-N-Out.
Because In-N-Out literally starts cooking when you're in the driveway.
And when you get up to there, your order's ready.
Is that your favorite?
That's the shit.
Five Guys is better.
What are you saying?
I like Five Guys too.
Five Guys is the best.
But In-N-Out, I like that I could order just patties with cheese right which is
mostly what I eat yeah just eat the patties with the cheese and it's cheap so you can get like
four patties and cheese yeah well it's good though it's like it's freshly cooked right they don't
have frozen ground meat it's the fucking bomb where's fries in the business though shut your
fucking hole I love their fries you love their their starchy-ass, boring fries? Tastes like potatoes.
I'm not scared of potatoes.
Worst fries ever.
But I will agree that Five Guys has dominant fries as well.
Great fries.
Five Guys will hit you with them Cajun fries.
Cajun fries, that's the shit.
Cajun fries with ketchup?
Oh my God, that's a delicious flavor.
Cajun fries dipped in the ketchup?
Come on.
And Five Guys, they get that squirty thing of ketchup, so you get a nice little fucking batch. Get them Cajun fries dipped in the ketchup? Come on. And Five Guys, they get that squirty thing of ketchup, so you get a nice little fucking
batch.
Get them Cajun fries.
I like Five Guys.
If I'm eating bread, I might prefer Five Guys, because you can get jalapenos at Five Guys.
You can get other shit.
You get bacon, jalapenos.
That's big.
You can get it wrapped at Five Guys also.
Why would you?
You're there.
For that burger meat. You're there. Yeah yeah you're right you're there I think it's just just like limit it to occasionally the thing about stuff
that's delicious but you know is not good for you just occasionally you know
there's things that are delicious like a croissant a croissant with chocolate in
it come on every now and, you should experience that.
It's someone's expression of culinary love.
You know, it's baking love.
You know, a nice, warm, fresh out of the oven croissant with chocolate.
You're like, oh, it's moist and gooey and buttery.
Croissant's buttery.
Oh, yummy, yummy, yummy.
Root beer milkshake from P. Terry's.
Have you had that yet?
I have not.
It's the best thing ever.
They use the syrup that they make root beer with,
and it is poured into the ice cream milkshake.
So it's like a root beer float that never has,
it always has the best version of a root beer. How many calories would you estimate that to be?
Oh, God.
300, probably, for a medium.
300.
200.
Do you ever go on-
You're fucking right.
It's way more than that.
Is it?
Oh, yeah.
300 calories for a medium.
Look it up.
No way.
Right.
What do you think it is?
300?
1,000.
1,000?
Yeah, I think it might be 1,000.
Might be a million.
It's pretty close to 1,000.
Root beer, mocha. So let's, what do you think is like the most calorie dense drink that exists?
Would it be like those?
A protein shake.
Yeah, but I mean like, I mean sugar.
Like how many calories for like something someone buys?
Like Slurpees, you know those fucking.
Those are pretty bad.
Red and blue Slurpees.
Yeah.
Those have to be crazy bad. Like what is a Big Gulp Slurpees, you know, those fucking red and blue Slurpees. Yeah. Those have to be crazy bad.
What is a Big Gulp Slurpee?
I don't think it's that bad because it's just like a soda pop that's frozen.
It's so good, though.
It must have so much sugar in it.
It's so much more delicious than regular soda.
Oh, 680 calories.
680?
I want you to get on a bike and try to burn 680 calories.
No.
It's so hard.
I'll get on my e-bikes.
I have that salt bike, the echo bike from Rogue.
You know that thing where you like, it's a fan.
You're propelling a fan.
Oh, yeah.
Wow, wow, wow.
And you're doing your arms and your legs at the same time.
Yeah, I got an elliptical.
I go ham on that thing and I get off.
It's like 200 calories.
I'm like, what? Yeah, it's like 200 calories. I'm like, what?
Yeah, it's kind of bullshit.
What?
200?
Like, to get 1,000 calories,
you've got to fucking haul ass
for a long period of time.
Yeah.
What, like,
how much effort is involved
to get 1,000 calories?
Like, if you're doing a bike,
if you're riding, like, a Peloton,
what kind of effort do you have to do
to get 1,000 calories?
Seems like that would be like a couple of hours.
A couple of hours because I think at the hardest I've ever gone on an elliptical,
I never get to 1,000.
Here it goes.
If you're cycling at a rate of 10 to 12 miles an hour,
you can burn roughly 7 calories per minute depending on how much you weigh.
If you bump up the intensity to 14 to 16 miles an hour,
you can burn up to 15 calories per minute.
Based on those numbers,
you'd have to maintain a pace of 14 miles per hour
for about 65 to 70 minutes to burn 1,000 calories.
Whoa, that's a lot of fucking effort.
Yeah, that's pretty fast, too, 14 to 16.
Now imagine what those fucking Tour de France guys burn in a day.
Ugh.
Imagine what that's like.
Nuts.
Dude.
Fuck all that.
A lot of bike riders around here, right?
And they all dress like they're in the Tour de France.
Oh, it's all 21 stages.
Tons.
6,000 per stage.
Does anybody ride a serious bike with regular clothes?
I do.
I mean, well, I don't. I mean, I ride e-bikes.
Those bike guys are all riding like they're in a race where you have to be streamlined.
Do you have an e-bike yet?
No.
Oh, my God, you would have so much fun on it.
It's like having your own little motorcycle, dirt bike.
Why not just get a motorcycle or a dirt bike?
Because you don't need a license or insurance, and you can just drive around mountains.
And you can go on bike paths.
On most bike paths, you can just bring it on your bike path.
Because it's silent?
Because it's silent and it's a bike, a legal bike.
Oh, I've used those before deer hunting with John Dudley.
Yeah.
My friend John Dudley has this beautiful place in Iowa.
And he has cultivated it for all archery deer hunting.
So he has all these ways to go in without leaving any scent.
And the best way to go in is on an e-bike
because your feet never touch the ground.
So you don't rub up against the branches and shit
with your clothing and stink things up.
So you're riding this bike and the bike is just rubber
and the deer don't recognize that smells like a predator.
And then he parks the e-bikes and climbs up a tree.
Hell yeah.
Like a fucking ninja.
Probably has a Suron. A what's that it's like one of the best dirt bike i don't know what he has but uh they're cool it's a way easier ride because that way you don't
want to get sweaty the thing is like if you get all it's cold as shit in iowa in november right
so you get in there you do not want to be sweaty and then sit still because you'll fucking freeze your ass off.
It's not good for you, which is why people, by the way, wear wool clothing.
That's the secret.
You get wet and sweaty with wool on, it maintains your body temperature.
It's really weird.
Yeah, because you're going to go sheep.
Yeah.
Look at this.
That's, is this the one John has?
What's John talking about?
Let me play John's...
What he's saying.
He must be doing a commercial for these guys.
That looks like a motorcycle.
This is a new one.
Look at the wheels.
Those are nice.
Oh, sick.
Wild. types of settings everywhere from the mountains out west all the way to right here in the heart of the midwest wow i tell you i couldn't be more excited not only about vulcans
grunt this look awesome the future ones that are coming down the road make sure you head to the
website and check them out this is going to completely change the outdoor world that looks
like a mud you'll get pulled over for that.
That seems like an electric motorcycle that you could take on a dirt road.
And I wonder how fast they go.
That's where it gets dangerous.
Yeah.
You know?
I have one that goes, I think, 40.
I've gotten advertised a scooter that goes 60.
Janice.
I bought Janice a scooter, and I didn't know it went 60.
Jeez.
They have a professional scooter league now. Oh it went 60. That's so fast. Professional scooter
league now? Oh no they don't.
I've seen the flips that people do with scooters.
I saw this dude hit a skateboard ramp
and did a full flip and landed on
the skateboard on top. I'm like oh my god.
Landed on the
the whatever the fuck scooter on top
with his hands on them. Have you seen
that Super 73 new
motorcycle? E-motorcycle?
What is this, Jamie?
Oh my God, they're flying.
They're racing in scooters
with motorcycle outfits on.
It's kind of fun.
Yeah.
Holy shit, they're that fast?
Because they're electric, right?
That makes sense, just like a Tesla.
Yeah.
They'd be stupid fast.
And they have great,
the one I have, amazing suspension.
I could go over rocks.
Oh, this is kind of wild.
I wonder how much worse that is at handling than a regular motorcycle.
Oh.
I don't know.
Well.
I mean.
Aren't they powered by the same motor?
I don't know, but you're upright.
I would wonder if like being low with a lower center of gravity would make maneuvers more easy.
Does that make sense?
Mm-hmm.
If you're standing up, it seems like maybe that would be harder to hit hard turns like that.
If you're sitting on a bike and you're hunkered down on the bike.
It's pretty sideways there.
Yeah, it's pretty crazy.
I don't know.
But it's crazy that kids are just going to buy these and whiz into traffic.
They're so popular right now.
It's insane.
Yeah.
In downtown Austin, it's nuts.
Yeah.
It's like Scooterville every day.
Yeah.
My friend Dylan, he has a whole YouTube channel where all he does is he lives in a bus with solar,
and he just goes riding with a group of like 40 people throughout LA and different cities.
They're like bike gangs, and they're all on e-bikes.
They're all on those one wheels.
They're all on these electric things, and they just roll around and just go through red lights and stuff like that.
Jesus Christ.
It's gotten so popular with that, though.
I watched a couple guys go through a red light the other night.
I'm like, what are you doing?
Yeah.
They looked.
They looked.
They just went for it.
I'm like, oh, my God.
Yeah.
What if you fall?
There's a – I can't tell that story.
Shit.
Shit.
I'll tell you afterwards.
Remind me.
Okay.
Dog shit.
Remind me.
Dog shit.
Oh, man.
Dog shit. I'll tell you later. Remind me. Dog shit. Remind me. Dog shit. Oh, man. Dog shit.
I'll tell you later.
It's funny, though.
Not my dog.
Some lady.
Her dog took a shit in the middle of a crosswalk, and she stopped and picked up the dog shit
and stopped traffic.
Oh, really?
She's bent over, scooping up traffic in the middle of the crosswalk.
Well, I guess that's the right thing to do.
Someone steps on it, but...
Get off the road.
Yeah.
Go back and get it the same way a crow gets a dead squirrel.
Right, that's right.
Just let that shit go.
Don't get killed.
That's all I can say about that.
Oh, I got a Supra since last time.
I know, dude.
I love it.
I saw the sickest one yesterday. Yeah? I was thinking to you. Yeah, I saw a Supra since last time. I know, dude. I love it. I saw the sickest one yesterday.
Yeah?
I was thinking to you.
Yeah, I saw a really sick silver one.
So I'm going to take a silver one.
And just like one of those images that I sent you, it had that fin on the back.
Yeah.
And then it had those really cool wheels put on it.
Oh, my God.
What a great shape.
Yeah, I'm thinking of getting it colored or wrapped a different color or something like that.
I like the white, but...
What would you get?
I don't know.
I've always been a matte black everything.
Matte black's dope?
Yeah.
The only problem with...
I've had friends that have had cars that have been wrapped and they get bubbles and shit.
You got to make sure that people do it.
They do a good job.
Yeah.
Sometimes they peel off and shit and that's annoying.
Then you got to bring it back in.
They got to do it again.
Especially in LA, they only last like two or three years.
What about out here?
It's hot as fuck.
Yeah, it's probably, well, it's moist out here, though.
I don't know.
Is that better?
Probably.
I don't know.
I get Expel, which is the paint protection film where, like, if you scratch it and the
sun hits it, it melts it back together.
What?
And it lasts like 10 years.
Yeah.
What?
It's great.
What?
It's Wolverine?
It's pretty much like Wolverine.
Wolverine paint? Yeah, it's Wolverine paint. Whoa. And it's cool because it's Yeah. It's great. Well, it's Wolverine. It's pretty much like Wolverine. Wolverine paint.
Yeah.
It's Wolverine paint.
Whoa.
And it's cool because it's a, don't tell people that they're going to try it.
No, no, I know.
But yeah, it's great because it not only protects your paint, uh, it's like really strong.
So like if rocks hit it and stuff like that, it doesn't do anything with the paint.
They have that ceramic coating too.
So it's easy to wash your car. Just hose it almost yeah like stuff barely sticks to it just slides and glides
right off of it it's like some sort of ceramic coating that they put on it except i have hard
water so anytime i do that it just leaves those little dots everywhere doesn't that just mean
minerals minerals yeah yeah isn't that good for you it's probably good for you yeah I don't know feels weird feels weird on you feels weird yeah
if there's a lot it leaves like a like a film like a slimy well right what what is that though
hard water is just minerals right let's let's Google are there any benefits to hard water are
there any health benefits to hard water I have a a water softener, so it's all salt.
And I always thought that's why it felt slimy
because of the water softener. Oh.
So then you can't drink it? Can you still drink it?
Oh no, you can drink it. With salt in it?
How much salt is in it? It's a lot of salt.
So you taste salty water? No, because I
also have... Probably getting pickled.
The mineral
composition of hard water gives it a ton
of health benefits, such as protecting your heart and bones.
Holy shit.
Calcium helps prevent osteoporosis, whilst the benefits of hard water are substantial.
Its mineral composition is not great for your hair and skin.
Wow.
So it's good to drink.
It's good to drink hard water, but the mineral composition is not great for your hair
and skin. It dries you out.
Well, my hair and skin, I don't give a fuck about.
So let's go.
Next one. I'll moisturize myself.
Next, what does hard water do to
your insides? Oh boy.
High levels of calcium and magnesium
can affect several organs in your
body and cause health problems.
Shit. One of the most severe effects of hard water
is an increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
Whoa.
According to several international studies,
both heart disease and high blood pressure
can be caused by drinking hard water.
Interesting.
So.
So what was the other one saying then?
Is this like still up for debate
or was the other one like a wacky one?
Well, that one's in the uk interesting
I wonder who's right and who's been paid off
And the other websites from service pro plumbers
It is there's a plumbing propaganda website because they're selling cleaners fix your fucking hard water
No, did you have what I have, like a reverse
osmosis water? Wow.
Well, there's also soft water, so there's
both sides of it. Okay, but that's kind of
hilarious, that it's service pros
plumbers. Right. That's
kind of hilarious. You better fix that right now
when we can do it today for $99.99.
Yeah, they're hooking up water filters
underneath your sink. Wow.
But what's true?
Why should we not drink hard water?
Here we go.
One of the most obvious effects of hard water is skin irritation and eczema.
As an example to it, using hard water not only makes your skin dry,
but also leads to bumpy patches on the skin.
These skin problems are caused by the presence of excessive minerals in the water.
So that's the negative.
So the negative is that it fucks with your skin.
Mm.
So click on that one.
Three possible effects of using hard water on the human body.
She looks pretty fine.
Before we go further, though, this is also, uh...
Plumbing.
...health care products.
Oh, get out of here.
They might be selling you products to fix... Sell me some shit to fix hard water. There's also healthcare products. Get out of here.
Selling me some shit to fix hard water.
Advantages of eating soft water.
Okay, go lower.
How hard water lead to hair loss.
The effects of hard water on your kidney.
Uh-oh.
Kidney dysfunction.
Click on that.
See if it's a science study.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is, I think. Let's see what what it says the effects of hard water consumption on kidney function insights
from mathematical modeling hmm goddamn liberals hmm it's it's it's hard to know
who's right on that one. You know?
Hey, Marsha, you up, buddy?
Nope, back down.
We're too loud.
Hard to know who's right.
Yeah.
But definitely minerals are important.
Like, you fucking need minerals.
Yeah.
There's a book that I read way back in the Dizzee called Dead Doctors Don't Lie.
This is this guy, Dr. Joel Wallach and he was pointing out that like why is it that when animals
like when you have a farm
and your animals
show like signs of diseases
you feed them minerals you give them minerals
in their diet and it helps
cure a lot of ailments that these
animals go through but you don't do that with
people and he was like mineral
deficiencies are a real problem he said the
I don't know if this is true but he was talking about the minerals in the topsoil. They've
been nutrient deficient for like the last who knows how many years, but like they keep
recycling the topsoil and they add stuff to it. They have to add things to it. They have
to add, you know, chemical fertilizers and all this different shit, nitrogen, all this
different shit to try to get food to grow in it again.
Yeah.
And that we need minerals.
We do.
So maybe there's an anti-mineral campaign.
Mm-hmm.
But maybe there's too many minerals in that hard water.
Yeah, I mean- Maybe it's both things at the same time.
If you have hard water, it always destroys everything,
you know, like your bathtubs and stuff like that.
It turns everything white. Maybe what you need is like a little bit of hard water, it always destroys everything, you know, like your bathtubs and stuff like that. It turns everything white.
Maybe what you need is like a little bit of hard water, you know?
Like a little bit of hard water every now and again is probably good for you because you get all that minerals.
But just don't drink it every day, maybe.
Do you have hard water where you're at?
Yeah, we have hard water.
So you have a water softener?
Yeah.
I wonder what it actually does, though.
I wonder how much it takes out.
I have to dump, like, two or three huge bags in it every couple months, you know, of salt.
Yeah, but how's that working?
I don't know what it does, man.
I think it filters through the salt.
Oh, that makes sense.
Yeah.
That's what's pretty wild about filters.
Like, they make filters with, like, sand and and rocks and you can take nasty water
and pour it through
that filter
and it'll come out clear.
They have LifeStraw
or whatever.
Yeah, they have those.
They have those straws
that you can walk up
to a fucking pond
and suck through the,
it looks like a vape pen
almost,
like a big vape pen.
You just suck through.
Oh, you know what?
Totally off random.
You giving people
smelling salts, you need to do that to every single guest. Do you want to try it? Yeah, you giving people smelling salts,
you need to do that to every single guest.
Do you want to try it?
Yeah, you need to try it.
It's just ammonia, right?
We have it over there, Jamie?
Jamie's got it.
It's just ammonia, right?
Is it just super ammonia?
Oh, well, it's,
you know who Juju Mufu is?
Yeah, the fight?
No, he's like a power lifter dude.
He's fucking uber jacked
he does it before he works
yeah
and it's his company
and I think it's called
ah
or something like that
something crazy like that
it's so ridiculous
like you're not gonna believe
how ridiculous it is
like you take a sniff
and you're like
what
I'm kind of scared
how the fuck
are you selling this
I'm kind of scared about it
but everybody who tries it
gets shocked
I know
I guess what they do
is they do the smelling salts to jack up their central nervous system, and then they left
Oh, yeah, yeah get that heart rate going okay here we go
Heart rate monitor
It's on okay. What's it? What's it showing now?
It's measuring
98 okay, let's calm down okay. You're a little high right now. 98's a little high. I know you're
anticipating this, but I want a real good reaction. I want a real one. I want an elevated
heart rate to begin with.
Okay.
Alright, you ready?
Yeah.
Okay. I'm gonna hand it to you. Screw it on.
Oh God, I'm so scared, dude.
Unscrew it yourself.
I'm scared.
And then take a nice, big, deep whiff, and don't be a pussy.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, my God.
Right?
Oh!
Oh, my God.
Marshall's up.
Marshall's checking in on you.
Look how sweet he is.
I'm okay, Marshall.
Look how sweet he is. Okay, thank you. He's checking in on you, look how sweet he is. I'm okay, Marshall.
Look how sweet he is. He's checking in on you.
Here we go.
It's not bothering you?
It's wrong.
It wasn't as strong as I thought it was going to be.
It's not as strong anymore.
Is it weakening?
Yeah, 100%.
I'll have to test it.
You got lucky, bitch. It still got me. I think we have another one we never opened. I think it has to%. I'll have to test it. 100%. You got lucky, bitch. You got lucky.
It still got me.
I think we have another one we never opened. I think it has to be unopened.
Try it.
Marshall's freaking out.
It still got me.
No, it ain't that bad, man.
It ain't that bad.
Right?
Not nearly.
Something happened.
Yeah, not nearly.
Not nearly.
Okay.
Yeah, you wouldn't be able to.
No, no, no.
Dude, that reaction you had to that.
Buckle up, son.
It still got me.
I took a big hit there.
Buckle up.
We're going to get the other one.
Two seconds.
Let me see if we can find it.
It must dry out or something.
That makes sense.
I mean, how long could that possibly last?
That's still pretty nasty.
It's fucking insane.
What is that?
I've smelled that before.
Imagine what it's like to him.
Oh, he probably smells it right now.
He's probably like, what the fuck are you doing to me here?
He's looking at the door.
Oh, now he's licking himself.
He's licking his dick.
Constantly. Hey, get out doing it, man. He's looking at the door. Oh, now he's licking himself. He's licking his dick. Constantly.
Hey, get out of there, sir.
Yeah, that ain't shit.
But when you get the new one, hopefully they can find the new one.
So what's the difference between that and the cracker?
I think it's the same shit.
Same thing?
No, no, no.
Well, there's poppers.
Poppers.
Which is amyl nitrate.
That's what the gay people do to have butt sex, right?
How dare you?
I mean, that's what they do. You go to West Hollywood. I think straight people have done it, too. Oh, really?. That's what the gay people do to have butt sex, right? How dare you? I mean, that's what they do.
I think straight people have done it too.
Oh, really?
But yeah, I think gay people do it primarily.
So that's the same thing as poppers is that?
Yeah.
Oh.
That was a big party drug in the gay community that a lot of people were attributing to diminishing
people's immune systems and wrecking your body and causing brain damage.
It's really fucking bad for you.
When Jamie comes back, we'll Google the health effects of poppers,
of amyl nitrate.
It's really, really bad for you.
But that's not this stuff.
This stuff is like the stuff they use to wake people up
when they've been knocked out.
Smelling salts.
It's like pneumonia.
It's like a strong pneumonia smell.
Like what you just got, it ain't shit.
Jesus.
It ain't shit.
Wait until you get a full whip
god I hope that we're not building up something that doesn't exist anymore
because if somebody took it things are just laying around here sometimes so
anyway you need to have it every single guest just having that hey you want to
try one no no you don't want to fuck with them. You don't want nothing? I don't know. If we have one, I don't know where it's at.
To be continued.
To be continued.
On the next time Red Band is here, we will have procured a solid supply of such items.
Did we really only have one?
I thought we had two, man.
I thought we had two, but no one knows where the second bag is.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
But trust me.
So shout out to that dude.
It says, warning, read all precautions on bottle label prior to use.
Wow.
Yeah.
Is there any negative to it?
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
You know, I haven't been feeling so good since I started doing it.
I wonder if that would work with, you know, the fentanyl people instead of NorCam or whatever
that shit is called.
I don't think so.
All that does is just whack you out for a couple seconds.
I only ordered one.
You only ordered one?
All right.
Order 10.
You should get a couple of the poppy ones, too, just to try out the differences.
Oh, that's the other thing we wanted to look up.
Google the negative health effects of amyl nitrate poppers.
the negative health effects of amyl nitrate, poppers.
Because that was a thing that they were trying to educate people on.
Like, hey, you can't be doing this.
This is fucking dangerous.
And was it to open up your butthole when you go, ah,
and then you just shove it in real quick?
Is that how you do it?
Let's listen.
Let's listen to that sound again he made. Ah.
I don't know why they do it.
I think that's like part of it was like a sex drug.
They were having a good time.
Yeah, that's what I always thought.
It says poppers are liquid substances that people sometimes inhale to experience euphoria or enhance sex.
They were previously sold in glass vials that made a popping noise when crushed, hence the name.
gold, and glass vials that made a popping noise when crushed, hence the name.
They belong to a class of chemicals called amyl nitrates,
which were once used to manage heart-related symptoms,
including angina or chest pain.
While this kind of medical use still happens, it's not common.
Today, you usually find poppers in small plastic bottles in the United States. Poppers aren't illegal, but selling them for non-prescribed
consumption is illegal.
As a result, many shops and online retailers market poppers as solvents, leather cleaner,
nail polish remover, deodorizers, just like they used to do with bath salts.
Remember that?
They're selling meth.
What do poppers do?
Poppers are vasodilators, which means they widen blood vessels when inhaled.
They cause a rapid dip in blood pressure that can result in an immediate but short-lived rush of euphoria and relaxation.
These effects can last for a few minutes.
Poppers are often associated with sex for a couple reasons.
First, they tend to cause lowered inhibitions and sexual arousal.
lowered inhibitions, and sexual arousal.
Second, poppers relax smooth muscles in the body,
including those found in the anus and vagina,
making anal and vaginal sex more pleasurable.
While poppers are often associated with gay men,
people of all genders and sexualities, Brian,
have used them recreationally since the 1960s.
So what are the side effects?
Okay.
In addition to euphoria and muscle relaxation,
poppers can also cause some less pleasant side effects,
including headaches, partially, particularly after use,
dizziness, nausea, fainting, pressure in the sinuses, eyes are both.
Is this the popper lobby that's putting this out?
Oh, it's the plumber website again.
Are they dangerous?
Poppers carry a low risk of dependence and addiction, but that doesn't mean they're totally safe to use.
Here's a closer look at some of the risks associated that come with some poppers. Chemical burns.
Eye damage.
People experiencing permanent eye damage after inhaling certain brands of poppers, particularly those containing isopropyl nitrate.
Medication interactions, higher risk situations.
Remember, poppers lower your inhibition.
That can cause you to do things you wouldn't normally do, like have sex without a barrier
method to protect and reduce your risk of sexually transmitted diseases.
Here's a big one at the end.
Say that.
Methemoglobin
benemia.
Methemoglobinemia.
If you swallow poppers or inhale
a very large amount of them, there's a risk
of that word. A potentially life
threatening condition that occurs when your blood
cells contain too much
methemoglobin. This makes it harder for your blood cells contain too much methemoglobin
this makes it harder for your blood to carry oxygen throughout your body which
can have a serious impact on your organs there's the one I'm looking for I knew
it was bad for you I think that's the one I think what it what what I had read
about it was that it was crushing people's immune systems yeah we cause
them to get all kinds of other, you know.
HIV and stuff.
All kinds of shit.
I mean, if your immune system's fucked, you know, if you're taking poppers all the time,
just jolting your whole system, control-alt-deleting your whole system and getting butt-fucked.
Like, yo.
That's a lot. That's a lot to take in. That's a lot yo that's a lot that's a lot to take in that's a lot there's a lot going on how do we get to poppers oh those smelling salts yeah the smelling
salts are definitely different than poppers these things are just uh that's medical a lot of first
aid kits have those in there yeah i thought but snappy kind. I bet it's probably similar
to the smelling salts. When you get knocked out.
Yeah, but they have them in like a capsule form,
right? And you break open the capsule.
They used to do that to fighters in between
corners, between rounds. Break open
a capsule and have them smell it.
And wake them up. These guys are doing
it. So they're snorting
them before games. They're taking
sniffs before games. I wonder if they're addicted to it
like the sports industry. They're all addicted
to these things. Look at this. It says,
overuse of smelling salts may lead to damage
to your nasal passages.
The sharp fumes from the ammonia may
burn the membranes in your nostrils.
But this would require frequent
and heavy use of smelling salts.
Oh.
I don't know, man,
but those pro football players,
they're not doing it because it's fun.
I heard that people actually get a,
that there's people that like the buzz from it
and that do it a lot.
I was looking forward to it.
Yeah.
100%.
I was 100% looking forward to it.
When Jamie brought it back,
I was secretly ready for that
exciting joke
just a taste
and then I was like oh my god do I have COVID
I was like
I don't smell shit
but I'm like no I smell things
I smell my coffee
this ain't working
I can't even imagine how much worse it is
it's way worse
like sharp
because when I opened it up maybe I got
all the
you might have right
you probably got a bigger dose
I don't know
if there was anything left in there you got it
yeah but they do it
they all do it so it must work
those powerlifter guys they're just trying to stack heavier and heavier and heavier weights all the time
So they're always trying to get to that state with a fucking
You know and when you watch them get psyched up for lifts, it's kind of crazy
Like I know a lot of people think it's silly because you're not involved in that culture
But like one of things that we learned when Jamie and I went to visit Louis Simmons, rest in peace to the great Louis Simmons, also out of Columbus, Ohio.
We went to visit him and talk to him about powerlifting.
You get a sense like this isn't a game for these guys.
This is life.
Life is how much weight can you lift.
It sounds crazy, right?
But how come it's okay if someone says life is bowling?
Life is disc golf.
What? For these guys, it's lifting heavy shit says life is bowling? You know, life is disc golf. Life is, you know, what?
For these guys, it's lifting heavy shit.
It's the same thing.
It's just that they've dedicated themselves to this, relatively speaking, obscure activity.
Because, like, everybody lifts weights, but not everybody, like, power lifts and does, like, fucking 700-pound deadlifts and shit and 1,000-pound squats.
These people are animals.
These are not normal human beings.
But that's their thing.
That's their thing.
Like someone's in a tennis.
Tennis is life.
They travel around the world, see the US Open, gold, France, and they're watching Wimbledon.
They love it.
That's their thing.
These fucking people, it's like doing smelling salts, smacking each other in the chest, and
lifting heavy, giant shit.
smacking each other in the chest and lifting heavy, giant shit.
Power lifting is the most exclusive and controversial gym.
But if you want to make people that all they give a fuck about is lifting the heaviest fucking shit humanly possible,
that's where you go.
You go to a power lifting gym.
A lot of athletes went to him, though,
because he had these wild methods of generating strength.
A lot of Columbus-based athletes.
Matthew Immortal Brown, he trained with him.
Look at that dude.
He's fucking jacked.
He's a little excited, right?
He shattered the all-time bench press record with 903 pounds.
Let's watch that.
That is fucking insane.
That is fucking insane.
He got it up he did look at that guy he he's very jacked yeah that's a weird thing right
yeah the the ability to lift really fucking super super super heavy shit and
while we were there we met a couple of guys that had records.
Like, oh, he's got the record for the best hamstring curl.
It was like different guys at different crazy lifting records.
That's why Schwarzenegger always goes there.
Does he?
Columbus?
Is that why he goes there?
Yeah.
That's why the Arnold Classic is there?
Yeah, yeah.
Because of what?
Because there's a huge power lifting.
Sort of, yeah.
He made a business partnership with the guy that runs Nationwide, and that's why they put it there.
Yeah.
Nationwide.
They used to have UFC fights during the week of the Arnold Classic.
Yeah, that was the shit.
Yeah.
And it made so much sense.
Yeah.
So smart.
Yeah.
Why not?
That was back in the day.
Mm-hmm.
Is bodybuilding still as popular as it used to be?
I think it's probably more so.
I mean, that's what my Instagram feeds me
is a bunch of people doing bodybuilding shit.
Like, you know, it's a little bit of CrossFit,
but it's a little bit of still competition stuff.
Damn, that's what your Instagram feed is?
I feel so sad for you.
That's all bodybuilders.
That and golf.
It's because it's working out stuff.
And golf.
Yeah.
That look that they get right before they go on stage, man, that is so unhealthy.
It's so crazy that the most unhealthy time they look the best.
Like, they're so depleted of water, man.
That's part of the reason why they're so shredded.
Oh.
They're so dehydrated, man.
Really?
Yeah, they get like, they're blacking out.
They have no body fat.
They get down to like zero body fat.
They're on every fucking chemical known to man.
When you see those fucking gigantic super jack guys that have zero body fat.
And they die early too.
All the time.
You can't keep that going for very long.
Those guys are so lean.
You can't keep that going for very long.
You can't stay like at that leanness for very long
You can stay pretty fucking lean like some guys obviously they have like more
Natural tendency to be lean than other guys do but when they get down to like this like you're on
Fucking you're on zero
You're on empty. I mean a lot of these guys like they get really tired after they do this stuff, too
I mean a lot of these guys like they get really tired after they do this stuff, too
You got imagine you're flexing every muscle in your body and you're dehydrated But if you look back at like Arnold like look at that picture Arnold up there
They say that he couldn't compete with today's bodybuilders, but honestly, I think that looks better
I really looks a lot better that looks better
Yeah, look he looks fucking fantastic looks way more natural than like the goofiness that nowadays he looks like a super strong
giant man through the one was doing the double biceps that one the one yeah that
one look at that yeah dude he looks fucking fantastic I mean obviously he's
a bodybuilder no question about it but I think that's like a healthier look a
better look for a bodybuilder absolutely the crazy size these guys put on now.
You know, like that as a human, that looks better.
But then when you go to like Ronnie Coleman in his prime, that's way more impressive.
Like Google Ronnie Coleman in his prime.
Whoa.
Look at the size of his back.
So he's got a turtle shell on him.
That's crazy.
Who is that guy?
I don't know.
Leonardo? Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ, his back is insane.
Ronnie Coleman.
Billy Bix.
Look at the size of him.
That's crazy.
When he was in his prime, he was fucking gigantic.
Just mass.
his prime he was fucking gigantic just mass and Ronnie Coleman was known for lifting really really heavy weights which is how he wound up uh injuring his back he had like every disc in his back fused
incredible he was so big and just the just the mass and power because he would do like ridiculously
heavy weights and training how do you die heart no he's alive he's alive he
did he did the podcast he was cool as fuck oh I just saw how strong was Ronnie
oh they mean in his prime yeah I mean but again he's paid the price and he
wouldn't have it any other way he talked to him about he has no regrets because
he's one of the greatest of all time if not the greatest of all time there's like him and
you know it's depending on what you like the arnold days it was arnold and dorian yates dorian
yates was a fucking gigantic human being preposterously big and he's a normal size guy
now it's kind of cool like he smokes a lot of weed very philosophical laid back real mellow
and at one point in time i mean mean, he was the fucking man.
When I met him, he's just like a regular athletic guy.
Does he have loose skin now?
No.
No, he looks totally normal.
He just looks like he's just, I mean, he looks fit, but he's just not.
Right.
I mean, he's a normal-sized guy.
He's a big guy, but he's not, you know.
It's kind of compared to his
one rep max. It says here is 557 for bench. And that guy we just saw did 903. That's insane.
That is insane. Generally speaking though, the strongest guys are not the bodybuilders.
Generally speaking, they're obviously they're very, very, very strong. Don't get me wrong,
but the strongest guys for individual lifts are generally the power lifter guys. And they're
generally like, they have some fat on their body.
They're like bigger, huskier-looking dudes.
It's a different build.
I think maybe when you have more weight, you can push more weight too.
Maybe that makes sense somehow or another.
Your body becomes accustomed to carry it all around.
But all they're thinking about is just fuel and power, fuel and power.
They don't have to do anything that requires cardio.
Fuel and power.
Fuel and power.
You know, they don't have to do anything that requires cardio.
But if you think about what that sport is, it's like, what happens when they start rubbing that shit on little babies' bodies?
Ronnie Coleman smashes 2,325 pounds for 10 repetitions.
For leg press.
For leg press.
Wow.
Shut the fuck up, man. That's crazy.
That cannot be good for your body.
Hell no.
Blow your knees out.
2,325 pounds for 10 reps.
That's so insane.
So that's what happened.
The thing that I have problems with with my back is like I have a tiny fraction of what he has,
which is that from all the compression from all the years,
and a lot of it is from jiu-jitsu and stuff like that.
Your discs get smushed, and they start getting really irritated, and they poke into your nerves.
That's where sciatic pain comes from and a lot of other weird neck pains that make your hands hurt.
All those guys have fucked up necks and backs.
I have that shit.
Most people do.
Your body just starts deteriorating.
That's why I recommend a pregnancy pillow. I have that shit. Most people do. Your body just starts, like, deteriorating. Yeah.
That's why I recommend a pregnancy pillow.
It's great.
I don't know why they market it for pregnant women, but.
How does it work?
The one you stick your arm through?
No, it's like a regular pillow with, like, one side's like half a body pillow,
and the other side's like this really long tail body pillow,
and you can pretty much just go in there and wrap yourself up.
And you're just kind of floating while you're sleeping.
It's great.
Let me see this.
But I posted that on Instagram.
I said, because I bought 10 of them.
Oh.
So you have your own little, look, it's got a shark mouth.
Yeah, but look at the comments.
Congratulations.
Pregnancy.
Tate Fletcher is texting me going, hey, man, congratulations.
Tell Janice.'s like no I just like sleeping no and what's so funny I never thought about it I bought like
10 of them and I've been trying them out my review all of them and I said you'll know what
this means soon and so everyone thought I mean of course i didn't even think of it like people would know what a pregnancy pillow is you're pregnant and congratulations today it could
mean you're pregnant who knows yeah who fucking knows i bought hans kim one though the other day
yeah because he said he had neck pains uh and he texted me uh last night he's like dude this is
the best thing ever i love it i can't believe it it helped me so much. So do you sleep on it? Is that your pillow? Yeah. Yeah, you put your head on that
Yeah, yeah
And it however just because there's so much like wrapping and stuff because I always get neck problems like you could just pretty much sleep
Exactly how you want to and you're not like you're not laying on your arm or something like that
Oh, wow, because I sleep stomach side sleeper.
I'm the one that always has his arm underneath the pillow,
and I'm just constantly putting pressure on my nerves and stuff.
Oh, wow.
It's bad.
But that changed my life, that pregnancy pillow shit.
I'm going to look into that.
I always take a pill between my legs so I can cuddle sideways.
But I have sleep apnea, and I have that mouthpiece that I wear.
That's the best way for me to not snore. If I lie on my back, even with the mouthpiece, I sn cuddle sideways. But I have sleep apnea. I have that mouthpiece that I wear. That's the best way for me to not snore.
If I lie on my back, even with the mouthpiece, I snore.
Right.
See, I can't lie on my back because I snore.
Yeah, it's rough.
Did you ever get tested for sleep apnea?
No, I probably haven't.
Probably haven't.
You're remarkably well for the amount of substances you consume.
Remarkably well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Still haven't got COVID yet, that's what that's what i'm
saying you might have um been exposed to it and like had an asymptomatic i think i have because
i actually uh found out that i did have antibodies antibodies oh so you did i mean i got the shots
but she said that won't show up after six months so Hmm. Interesting. I wonder what it is.
You might've been exposed.
Cause like,
you know,
sometimes people get exposed like a lot of times cause we test here so much.
Right.
They didn't even know they had had it.
That happens a lot.
Yeah.
I haven't had zero symptoms or my girlfriend though,
which is weird.
And I think it's like every other cold,
right? If you get a light exposure to it and you're doing real well at the time,
like you're rested and you're, you know, you have vitamins in your system and it's a very mild exposure
maybe you just maybe that's what like these asymptomatic ones are for some people it's like
you just barely got it but you got enough to develop immunity right or some you know some
antibodies i think it's all liquid iv that's as much liquid iv i have i drink that shit every day
yeah i drink that shit every I drink it everyday before I do
workouts
it changed my cramping
I used to cramp so much man
especially hard leg workouts
try their new kabucha
apple one it's so good
it has kabucha powder in it or something
they're all good I drink them in a large
thing of water too they're really strong
if you have them in a small one I I do it in like a one liter.
Yeah.
I usually do it in a bigger one than this.
Oh.
But that's, having fucking nutrients in your system is so goddamn important.
It's amazing how many people don't do anything about that.
They just eat whatever they eat and just live their life like, god damn kids.
Like you're really missing out on there's there's like another level to
the way your body will feel if you're like well-fed and you you have the right
nutrients in your body you do it for a sustained period of time so your body
has what it needs to sort of make everything work right and there's so
many people out there that are and that's that book the Joel Wallach book
he was talking about mineral deficiencies and he was saying that when
people are eating these vegetables and the things that they eat that they've
always associated with having minerals they don't have nearly the same amount of minerals they used to have like back in the day.
And then it's only going to get worse.
And they think that now, we've Googled this, right?
There's like 60 more seasons of U.S. topsoil left in farmlands that are heavily used.
Like what?
Bananas are almost extinct.
What?
Imagine not being able to buy bananas. I ate two of them today. Imagine not being able to buy bananas today imagine not being able to have banana i ate two of them yeah they're almost they're going extinct
how is that possible uh it's because there's a bacteria or something that's killing banana
plants this is the world economic forum bacteria it's it's wiping out banana fields like crazy. You will own nothing and you will be happy.
Cool.
Have you seen that video where the World Economic Forum talks about what's going to happen in 2030?
Mm-mm.
And it says you will own nothing and you'll be happy.
No.
I haven't.
That's the first thing it says.
Really?
Yeah.
And you'll rent everything.
You'll rent everything.
But you'll be happier.
Yeah.
What? It's crazy. What the fuck are you talking you talking who owns everything then you don't own it either or do you own everything right you won't
own anything who's you is it me or is it everybody watch this you'll own nothing and you'll be happy
just do it from the beginning so you can see what it says because it's predictions eight predictions
for the world in 2030 this is real real. This is not a parody.
This is not the Babylon Bee.
This is real.
Eight predictions.
You'll own nothing and you'll be happy.
Based on the input members of the World Economic Forum,
whatever you want, you'll rent
and it'll be delivered by drone.
You just rent it.
The U.S. won't be the world's leading superpower.
Aw, sorry.
A handful of countries will dominate. Look,
China's in the forefront, waving its flag over us. You won't die waiting for an
organ donor. Wouldn't it be better? You won't transplant organs.
We'll print new ones instead. Yay, better. You'll eat
much less meat. An occasional treat,
not a staple for the good of the environment and our health.
That's bullshit.
A billion people will be displaced by climate change.
Believe that.
We'll have to do a better job at welcoming and integrating refugees.
Oh, shit.
Polluters will have to pay to emit carbon dioxide.
There'll be a global price on carbon.
This will help make fossil fuels history.
You could be preparing to go to Mars.
Scientists will have worked out how to keep you healthy in space.
The start of a journey to find alien life.
Western values will have been tested to the breaking point.
Checks and balances that underpin our democracies
must not be forgotten.
This is so weird.
It is weird.
So when I looked it up,
it was made in 2016.
Bro.
That's so weird.
I believe you won't own anything.
I mean, that kind of already has started
with video games and movies.
Remember, you used to buy TVs.
Yeah, but not your fucking house,
not your car, not your clothes. Price-wise, it not your clothes and price wise it might be imagine if they just decide to take back your car
Because they don't like your politics like this is the fear that people have that's what China has with their social
Social credit score system like if you do the wrong thing say the wrong thing speak out against the wrong people
They'll deny your ability to travel those like'll say, no, you can't buy airplane tickets, Mr. Red Band.
We saw podcast number 1034.
Black Mirror.
Yeah.
I mean, that's what they're saying.
By regulating all these different things, that creates more control over people.
It's not that it's good to do these things like pollute and shit.
What they're saying, they're just getting a firmer and firmer grasp on what
people can and can't do. If they can tell you, you don't need meat, less meat, you need less meat.
Like says who? You need to buy our fake meat. You need to buy our plant-based meat. It's lower in
cholesterol. And you know what they're doing in Canada now? They're putting a warning label on
ground beef. So if you buy ground beef, it's going to put a warning label on the level of saturated
fat, and it's going to recommend you try a plant-based meat because they're lower in
saturated fats.
What?
What?
A warning label?
You have a warning label on ground beef.
See if that's true.
I think it's true.
I'm 99% sure it's true.
I did read it,
but I've been duped before.
Right.
I really did think Steven Seagal was going to war.
I was like,
that crazy fuck is over there
training the troops in Ukraine.
Because dude,
he's a fucking,
I mean,
he literally teaches people in Russia,
which is nuts.
Alberta beef producers unhappy with Health Canada's plan to require warning labels on ground beef.
Yeah, it's real.
Oh, my God.
It's nuts.
Well, Canada's nuts right now.
What are we saying?
They're falling apart like crazy.
It says, but one aspect of the proposed plan isn't sitting right with some Canadians.
Ground meat is subject to the label.
Yeah, it's subject to the label.
So that means a label will be coming to the grocery shelves warning people.
Well, maybe.
It says it's proposed, and it doesn't mean it will be put on everything.
Some foods will fall into the category of exemption.
Right, but they're saying ground meat is one of those that falls in there, which is kind of crazy.
Because there's a lot of hot topic.
There's a lot of hot debate about whether or not ground meat is actually good for you or meat is actually good for you.
And that the problem is not the meat.
The problem is all the other things that people eat with the meat.
And there's people way more qualified than me to have this discussion.
They've had this discussion.
And you'll have to form your own opinions on it.
But it seems to me that people have been eating meat since we've been people.
The problem is the new stuff.
The new stuff that we haven't been eating as much is like all the fucking corn syrup,
all the massive amounts of calories in one drink that you don't even know, like 680 fucking
calories.
the massive amounts of calories in one drink that you don't even know,
like 680 fucking calories,
all the different shit that we eat that has chemicals and preservatives.
We eat so much garbage in this country.
And salt.
So much salt.
Everything has so much salt on it. But it makes it delicious.
Yeah, but still, let me add the salt.
Okay.
I mean, some things you're like, look at the sodium on this.
I mean, Joey Diaz warned about this.
Sodium.
It's fucking sodium, dog.
He was always like anti-sodium.
Yeah.
Well, for some people, it makes them swell up.
Yeah, to me it does.
Makes their rings already come off.
Joey had a ring stuck on his hand for like a year.
That's right.
He's looking great now, though, man.
He's killing it.
Yeah.
Talking him into coming to Vegas.
Really?
Yeah, do the show in Vegas. I heard he just- He's killing it. Yeah. Talking him into coming to Vegas. Really?
Yeah, do the show in Vegas.
I heard he just... He was on the fence.
Did Bill Burr.
Yeah, he did a Bill Burr show.
Talked to him the other day, too,
and he said he was going to go to a Duncan show, maybe.
I don't know if he ever did that or not.
I'm glad he's getting back up now.
He's getting back up, yeah.
I heard he destroyed at your show.
Yeah, he killed in Atlantic City,
especially the second show, Saturday night.
He was on fire.
He's the man.
He's just got to get back on his feet and just start doing comedy. He's just killed it in Atlantic City, especially the second show, Saturday Night. He was on fire. He's the man. He's just got to get back on
his feet and just start doing comedy.
He's just been enjoying podcasts and shit, which is great,
but he's too funny. He's too funny to not
be doing stand-up. It's too fun to have around.
He's like the anchor.
He was always the fun anchor. Joey's
always the fun guy. He made me go out in Atlantic City.
He made me go out to this fucking diner
that's in the casino. It was a disaster.
It was a disaster. It was a disaster.
A lot of fun, wild people
living in New Jersey.
That's too hard for you to do nowadays.
That's Jersey's Vegas.
That's Jersey's Vegas. They don't have a Vegas.
They have the Atlantic City. It's pretty fucking nice now.
Is it? Yeah, there's some really nice hotels.
The Hard Rock we were at.
It's fucking nice. It's a nice place.
We went to this, me you know and we went to
this uh me and my friend tommy went to this old school pool hall that's there in atlantic city
right and it looks like it hadn't changed at all since the 70s it had a payphone on the wall dude
a payphone and there's like no gambling signs and shit and the dude who runs it looks like he's been
running a pool hall for 50 years it was awesome awesome. It was like such an old school window into the past that you don't really get much of anymore.
Right.
But in Atlantic City, there's still some of those spots are still around.
Yeah.
It's a depressing city, dude.
Yeah.
It's not cool.
That's it.
That's Atlantic City Billiards.
I think there's a picture.
Yeah, that's what it looks like on the inside.
Look.
No alcohol, beverages, no gambling.
That's my boy Tommy.
Old school.
Yeah, look how old school.
Is that Tommy Tommy?
Tommy Jr.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No gambling, no cigar smoking.
You could smoke cigarettes back then.
Look at that.
Phone is out of order.
Like last week, it probably shut off.
What a disgusting thing to have public phones.
Now you look at that, you're just like, how gross is that?
Probably protected our immune systems.
Yeah.
You know? Seriously. Always in contact with cooties you know you always just held it right to your mouth you know you never even thought about it back then well
think about how good your immune system is right you didn't even get covid right
where you were out all the time even before you got vaccinated you were out all the time
now think about all the people that you've met all the hands that you shook like when we used to do shows and we would shake hands with everybody after the show
and take pictures dude you probably shook thousands and thousands and thousands of hands
over the years and all that stuff got integrated into your system probably that's what that uh
the fucking the guy from polyface farms joelatin, he drinks out of the same water that the cows drink out of.
Ew.
I know.
But he says it protects him.
It protects his gut biome.
Slick doorknobs.
Yeah.
Well, that's what kids do, right?
They're always eating dirt and shit.
Yeah, sucking their thumbs after playing all day and stuff.
I wonder if that's what it is.
If they're curious or if there's actually some sort of instinct that makes sense to expose yourself
to as many things
by touching things
and putting them in your mouth
and your mother's supposed
to be there to make sure
you don't choke on bones
and whatever else
you're shoving in there.
Probably, right?
Mm-hmm.
Makes sense.
Makes sense.
Should we end this right now?
I think we ran out of steam.
Yeah, I gotta go
do a show now.
Yeah, Kill Tony
every Monday at the Vulcan but don't try buying tickets, bitch. Yeah. They're sold out out of steam. Yeah, I gotta go do a show now. Yeah, Kill Tony every Monday at the Vulcan,
but don't try buying tickets, bitch.
They're sold out forever and ever. It's amazing.
Congratulations.
It is the cornerstone of the Austin comedy
scene, and I think it's a big
factor in all of
stand-up comedy, because it's an amazing
place for a showcase, for
someone to go up. You can kill with one minute, and you
get welcomed, and people applaud you, and they root for you, and they get excited up you can kill with one minute and you get welcomed and people applaud you and they root for you and they get excited when
you come back and you guys have launched a lot of people stand-up comedy careers
for that yeah you know Ally Makovsky is out there killing it on the road and
Ally started with you guys she started doing a new minute every week live
publicly in front of the whole world which is a gangster thing to do doesn't
shave her legs Hongdon Congdon and Wine Shank.
Sarah and Kim did that back in the day.
A fucking minute every week.
That's wild.
That's a wild-ass exercise.
I'm most proud about Hans.
Hans is a killer.
He went from living in his van to now headlining.
And, you know, it's just so great to see that.
I'm really happy for him.
Dude, Hans kills in arenas.
I bring Hans to arenas.
He's awesome.
I jump that motherfucker right to the head of the line.
He's so fucking interesting.
He's so good.
Yeah.
He writes all the time.
I remember the first time he did an arena, he was so fucking nervous.
And he went up there like he owned the place.
It was amazing.
I was like, yes!
We were backstage like he fucking did it.
He went up there just super calm and just took over.
He's really funny
william montgomery he's another guy really really funny really funny really unique that one joke
that i love that i won't say on the air but god it's such a good joke it's so clever and he's
grown so you've you've pushed something that has been driving me crazy for so long on him is just
using his notebook and you really got him over that and it's so great to see because he has such a tendency to just read off his notebook turn to the side not even face the
audience like he's having his own little conversation and listen he's crazy yeah in the
best possible way he's really funny he's a really really good guy and he's really fucking nutty on
stage and he's just got you know's just got to get the right path.
Staring at the notes all the time
is not the right path
because he didn't need them.
You're doing 15 minutes.
You're doing 10 minutes.
You don't need that.
Just get it in your head
and run with it
and then learn how to do that.
You're a pro.
You've been doing it for too long.
And he's like,
you're right, man.
You're right.
You're right.
What a nightmare.
But it's just like
it's a great community out here.
There's a lot of really funny people coming up.
And I think one of the big factors is Kill Tony.
I really do believe that.
Because I think that show is a wild, unhinged, uncensored show,
which I think is very important to comedy.
Because it's all about just being funny.
You have one minute.
You don't have time to be woke.
You don't have time to have a social justice promotion in the middle.
No, you have to kill.
Right.
This is a shot.
This is a shot.
And then everyone is loved, no matter who you are.
Old, young, you kill.
Gay, trans, black, Asian, no one gives a fuck.
It's the same tribe.
If you're funny, you're funny, and you're applauded.
And it sets a good tone for comedy.
Because it lets people know, like, this is what comedy is about.
It's not about, like like changing people's mind right?
That that stuff's crazy get a podcast okay?
When you're on stage you're supposed to be killing and kill Tony enforces that and you get feedback from these top comics
You know like you get Dom I rare and Shane Gillis and Ari and Norman and all these people are on a regular basis
Sitting in with you Tim Dillon, And it's a fucking amazing resource.
It's amazing.
It's such a good show.
Yeah, it's so great.
I love it, man.
So congratulations.
Thanks, buddy.
All right, my man.
Death Squad, Thursday nights at the Vulcan.
Secret show.
Secret show.
All kinds of people secretly come by.
Yeah, we've got 15 people today.
Nice.
All right, that's it.
Goodbye, everybody.