The Joe Rogan Experience - #1847 - Theo Von

Episode Date: July 26, 2022

Theo Von is a stand-up comic and podcaster. He is the host of "This Past Weekend with Theo Von" and one of the hosts of "The King and the Sting and the Wing." www.theovon.com

The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! How many times have you smoked this rum? I don't know, I've smoked one before. You open that again one more time, I'm sorry. Just pull it down. Yeah, flip the top. There you go, and then pull that down. There you go. How would you not know whether or not you've smoked a cigar?

Well, I used to work at this business company. I worked at this insurance company. I did paperwork. Not paperwork, but I, like, mailed papers for them. And, like, mailings, I guess. I guess that's paperwork. Yeah. And the man had a lot of nice cigars in there. And you may or may not have smoked one.

I feel like he tried to teach you one time. Oh, I feel my heart shutting. Is that always like it is? No. No, your heart doesn't shut. My shit's fucking... I think it's the smelling salts. We just tried a new batch of the smelling salts.

Last time I did smelling salts, first time was with you, right? And we just got a new batch, and it was way stronger. Because we did one with Red Band, and it was old. It was the old ones, and they get weak after a while. But that one was a freshie. Like, we pulled the tab off the top and took a hit of it and it just burned all my nostril hairs off oh man it felt like somebody was fucking playing legend of zelda in my lungs brother shit was fucking really it goes all it goes it doesn't

even hit your lungs i feel like it goes through just into everything else almost it like it does a lot yeah it does a lot your hair I just tell you, your hair looks fabulous. Oh, thanks, man. Really? It looks fabulous. Thanks, dude. It's just full everything. I just got some new hair done out of the back, put in the front.

How'd you do that? Were you losing hair? Surgery. Yeah? Were you losing? I don't know if I was losing as much as I've been also getting paranoid and just trying to be preparatoryatory but I was having a lot of stress too oh last year what were you having stress about uh let me think

do you want to wear headphones or no oh yeah you want to put them on I didn't see you had yours on I feel like I'm alone here in the headphone land yeah it is weird huh it's like when you put a condom on and then the other person's just still looking at their phone you're like oh this is weird and the person i mean is a woman too jesus christ you gotta be able to tell everybody huh well i'm just saying i just had a crazy i had a trainer the other day and it was a gay trainer right and he had a purse with him the whole time and it just uh what's the difference between a purse and a large shoulder bag okay this one i would say it had bejewels on it you know

bejeweled so it had yeah you know it looked like somebody had uh it looked like something you'd find in egypt you know if you were digging it was bedazzled if you were digging in a men's locker room it looked like something fun in egypt baby you know what i'm talking about baby the purse thing is funny right because it's like purely a woman's accoutrement and it has always been that way but like why like backpacks guys can wear backpacks guys can have gym bags guys can have all kinds of bags yeah but not a purse. But meanwhile, guys generally carry more shit than women do, right? I guess not.

Women carry makeup and stuff. And guys have their nuts, too, which is like in a little bag kind of. You know what I'm saying? Good point. So it's almost like your dick has like a little purse. Or like a hand or something. A little cum purse. Yeah. Three storages. little purse but um or like a hand or a little cum purse yeah yeah

three storages uh but what else oh yeah so i think yeah that's interesting i guess yeah i guess maybe since women carried more stuff i'm not sure i'm trying let me try to do this is it out i'm not sure i think it's lit, bro. Just take a puff. Deep end. There you go. Yeah, that sucker's lit. All right.

You just want to kind of like get it going. Like this. Yeah, don't inhale. Just kind of get it in your mouth and the nicotine will get in your bloodstream and then the conversation flows magically. Yeah. Did you ever smoke cigarettes? Oh, yeah.

Yeah? I used to smoke them, man. One time I got so depressed I'd been seeing this gal, and she split up with me. Damn. And I smoked probably 33, 34 Newports in a row laying on a... Fluton? No. It's like a floating chair has like a little things on the

end kind of what i'm talking about a floating chair the one you put in the pool no it has like a couple people can sit on it but it's like a um it's like a couple chairs are together like in a group and it has like chains you know i'm talking about people put on the porch yeah yeah swing swing chair yeah yeah swing and you just drank smoked new ports try to get over this lady yeah they just yeah they just i felt like it was helping my spirit what happened with her she caught me running around on her and i was doing it too well so i'm gonna get upset about that yeah they do huh they do did you ever get busted for that ever in your life? Yeah, did you yeah? Yeah, young like young young, but I busted a lot of girls to one time

This is hilarious. I dated this girl when I was in high school And I used to have a job delivering newspapers So I used to have to get up every morning really early and I was getting up in the morning a lot of times on like Saturday and Sunday when people were coming home and so I got up at like whatever it was four or five in the morning yeah I go outside and this girl that I was dating is making out with this friend of mine in a car right in front of my house oh why'd they drive over there to do it I don't I, I think maybe. Like a territorial thing?

She was friends, no, she was friends with my sister, and I think they were probably all out partying, and they just wound up there, and they figured, fuck, no one's going to be awake. Damn, bro. So I came outside, and I just slapped my hand on the hood of the car while they were making out and looked at them and went, ah!

And I just drove off damn and you had to go do to work still yeah I was happy about it oh you were it wasn't like I wasn't like a serious commitment this lady yes young lady at the time yeah it was just like you know just getting a freak on yeah just being naughty like that yeah I miss being yeah it was i don't i mean i miss it i don't miss it but it was fun whenever you were like shit used to be so haywire when you were young it's like so much weird shit could go on you know it was you were wild like you'd only been making out with people for a couple of years yeah one time this guy uh i knew

was having sex with this girl and like the rest of us were just Just kind of being lonely outside of his room We went on the balcony How many guys are outside of the room being lonely three guys So one guys in there getting his freak on everybody else is outside Yeah, and because of the sound you feel so much fucking lonelier, you know? And we went outside on the balcony. One guy was out there smoking a cigarette,

and so then he starts listening to the sex through the window. Then he comes back in. He's like, you guys got to come in here, you know? Chucky's doing some work in here, you know what I'm saying? Like, this is, you know, it's worth coming out, you know? It's almost like if you hear a good song, like, hey, guys. Right, right. So we went out, and the guy leaned too close on the window and fell right through the fucking

pane glass, dude. No. Caught himself up. And then all of a sudden, it's all exposed, and they're in there. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, it was freaking, I felt bad for everybody. How was he leaning like that, where he broke the window?

It was cheap windows. It was a college apartment complex. Oh. complex like probably single pane glass right everything in there was cheap because people just broke it all the time can you imagine being a landlord for a bunch of college kids never oh imagine being a landlord today because so many people there was rent protection during the pandemic and people are still like nah not paying yeah like i know a guy who has not collected rent from this one person for three fucking years and he's like i can't get rid of them i don't know what to do i'm not making any money like i have to pay the mortgage and i'm not making any money off of rent and i can't rent it out to anybody else and i

can't get rid of them and the lady has a job the lady has a job she goes to work every day and won't pay rent oh that's she shouldn't do that no but there's like in los angeles there's rent protection oh yeah i don't know if that's still in place is that still in place do you know there's a tv show about bad people that do renting there's also um i saw oh, I had a tenant that stayed in an apartment that I had in New Orleans for two months and just didn't pay any rent. Thankfully, it was only two months, but it was just nothing you could do. You know, by the time you have to go, like, to this, it's just like a- Did you own an apartment building? Yeah.

You did? Not a building. One apartment. Oh, really? Yeah. And you rented it out and they wouldn't pay rent? Yeah. Most people, they have shame.

And if you fuck with them, they want to either get out of there or they just want to pay you and get it over with. But some people are shameless. And this lady that this guy I know is renting out to is totally shameless. Do you think she was doing some type of secret work and she didn't want... What do you think the reason was? I think she would like to spend her money on other things. Yeah. I think it's that simple.

I mean, who knows what kind of financial situation she's in, but she does have a job and she goes to this job, apparently, according to him, and she just won't pay rent. Like when they put the rent protection thing on i don't know exactly i mean i think the rent protection was supposed to be put in place for people that lost their job during the pandemic so you wouldn't have a bunch of people just kicked out on the street yeah like a moratorium yeah yeah i mean a lot of people were calling for that and it made sense during the pandemic the problem with that stuff is like getting people to start back up again and pay.

Yeah, it's hard. People don't want to do that. Yeah, once you realize you can be somewhere without it, you just have to like have a tough conversation at the door once a month or twice a month, and I think some people are going to do that. Well, that's a problem that a lot of people have with a lot of like free money from the state that like once you get it, you don't want to not get it anymore. Like this was the argument against like universal basic income

is that once you start getting that money, then you're like, why am I working? Fuck working. I'll just live off of that money. That's it. I'll make a little bit on the side here and there and never work again. Yay.

Yeah, I remember we talked about that one time. We were talking about universal basic income. I wonder if I would like it or not. Well, it'd be nice to have money where you don't have to think about food. Right. And don't have to think about rent. That would be great.

If everybody just had their rent and their food taken care of. The problem with that is, man, people need incentives. It's very difficult to just motivate yourself if you've got your food and your rent taken care of and you tend towards laziness. You don't have a history of discipline. Especially now they've got all those weighted blankets too. Do you see that? Can you believe that shit?

I could sleep on a fucking floor of a bus station. I don't need a weighted blanket. I'm always tired. Dude, one time I was on this bus, man. I used to go work at this farm in the summer. And so I would take the bus up there to Greyhound. And they had this dude on there he's sitting on there and uh next to me and he's like hey you want to see

something and i thought it was gonna be his dick you know because you know it's a freaking yeah you want to see something it's either a human head or a dick he pulls the head out of a bag either way you're getting the head bro but i said no the first couple times but the trip got longer and i was like all right fuck it you know yeah i'll see it he opened up he had a bag of jewelry and a gun he had robbed a uh a jewelry store before he got on the bus right and why did you see it he just wanted yeah i think he wanted to kind of take some of the pressure off of him by sharing it with somebody else. You know, so suddenly, yeah, I think he's like, you know, I got an accomplice or something. And then he even said like, oh, we should get off at this next stop.

And I'm like, I'm not in this shit. He's going to throw the bag at you and call the cops. I found him. He might have had a good idea, maybe so. Well, that's a lot of people that commit crimes like that. They're kind of not that wired right. They're kind of screwball. Would you ever want to do a good crime?

I would want to do a good crime. Like a crazy bank robbery. Like a Lee Murray type bank robbery where you wear bulletproof armor and you come in storm blazing. Like you're in a Guy Ritchie movie. Get on the ground. Everybody down. Don't,ie movie yeah don't don't don't don't shoot some rounds into the ceiling yeah shoot a chandelier oh yeah yeah yeah yeah it comes crashing down everybody screams yeah if everybody listens no one gets hit yeah some. Some ladies. And then some guy, some like 65-year-old guy, his cell phone rings and it's that bad to the bone ringtone. And you just fucking shoot that phone.

Bad to the bone. Does it work? You see some guy reaching under his waistband. Don't be a fucking hero. It's not your money. I saw this video the other day where this guy is sitting getting his hair cut. And he's getting his hair cut and this guy comes in and just shoots the dude cutting his hair. Boom!

And he scrambles back and the guy with the gun says, get out! Everybody get out! And the guy who was getting his hair cut just reaches into his band, pulls out his gun and just empties his clip into this dude. It was real? Yeah, there's so many videos now. Yeah. I follow a lot of like... Shootings. It's like a lot of police

posts. Yeah. They get these security cam footage. Yeah, yeah. Like shootouts and stuff like that. A lot of them are in Mexico, too. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's crazy over there. Oh, it's crazy. People shooting each other point blank and can't even hit each other, either.

That's the craziest ones, is when people are, like, right here. Yeah. You know? Go follow Ed Manifesto on Instagram. He's a dude that's been on the podcast a couple of times. His name is Ed Calderon,

and he used to work for the Mexican government. He used to be in, like, the anti-cartel, you know, whatever that is over there. Yeah. Whatever the forceican government he used to be in like the anti-cartel you know whatever that is over there yeah whatever the force and he's got yeah this is the video watch this so oh man yeah play this jamie this dude oh my goodness that's all real yeah that's all real that Yeah, that's all real. That was an off-duty cop. That was getting his hair cut. Is that what it is?

That's what the article I found it in says. Well, he's got perfect technique. Crazy. Speaking of that, that shooting that happened at the mall? Yes. Did you hear about that? Yes, the shooting that happened at the mall. This is one of those crazy situations where an armed good guy stopped a bad guy from killing a bunch of people.

This guy shows up at the mall, pulls out a gun, kills two people. And within seconds, this happens. This guy pushes his girlfriend aside, reaches into his waist, pulls out his gun, and shoots at this guy from 40 yards away. No. Ten shots, hits him eight times. Is that pretty far? It's pretty far. For a pistol, that's far.

That's far. That's like a good shot with an arrow, like a bow and arrow. It's 40 yards. That's a fucking poke. And for you to do this under pressure and to take a life, and he hit him eight times, he could shoot. He's a 22-year-old man. Of course, the NRA has jumped all over this.

And they've said, hey, this is one of those examples where a good guy with a gun kills a bad guy. What you just saw is another one of those examples. Yeah. It does happen. And the problem is people don't want to admit that that happens because it doesn't fit with their narrative. This is one of the things that always happens when there's a hot topic, whether it's gun control or whatever it is, where you have a very specific idea of what you think the problem is and what you think the solution is. And a lot of people think the problem is guns. The solution is take all the guns. The solution is take all the guns.

And, you know, some people say no. The solution is you should be armed and be prepared to take care of things. If something goes wrong, you should be trained and you should be prepared to use your gun. And in this case, that is the correct answer. In this case. I think that's the right angle he had. Oh, is that at Jason's Deli? Where the shooting was right there, the guy who got shot. Yeah.

So now. Wow. It depends entirely on whether or there, the guy who got shot. Yeah, so now, Wow. It depends entirely on whether or not this guy has a red dot and how much he's trained. If he has a red dot, it's considerably easier

to hit what you're aiming at because a red dot, when you pull out a pistol, excuse me here, I think that smelly salt has fucked me up. Really? I like that. Yeah, is it fucked you up Jim I didn't I didn't go all the way I went all in I

went I took the biggest deepest with and it was immediately I was punished felt heavier than normal way worse because it was just right when we pulled the seal off but anyway my whole throat is like confused. But a red dot, like when you draw and you have a red dot, the red dot will show you exactly where that bullet's going to go. And when it turns green, is that when you shoot? No, no, no. It's just red. It stays red.

Okay. It's just, you know, in place of the iron sights, like the iron sights you have like on a gun. Oh, yeah, the little thing. Yeah, the little thing. And then in between it is like you put the little dot that's on the end of the pistol and you line the two of them up and you shoot. With a red dot, you don't have to do that. Yeah, the little thing, and then in between it is like you put the little dot that's on the end of the pistol, and you line the two of them up, and you shoot. With a red dot, you don't have to do that. You just pull

it out, and it's like a sight, and in that sight, there's a red dot. Wherever that red dot is, that's where that bullet's gonna go. Damn. And how accurate is that? How much times? It depends entirely on whether or not you've sighted in the gun properly. But if you've sighted in the gun properly, it's very accurate. Especially if you have a really good gun, like a Staccato or a Sig

or some top-end Glock high-end gun. So if this guy knew what he was doing, clearly he did. If he hit that guy from 40 yards away eight times with 10 shots, that fucking guy can shoot. That's like Steph Curry, really. That's a big number. For the dude who's the shooter, it's the wrong, worst-case scenario. You happen to be close enough where a guy who has a gun can immediately shoot you.

So this guy starts shooting, and I think it was within two minutes or something like that. But how dangerous— Something very quick where he starts shooting at the guy. How dangerous to shoot across a food court, though. Very dangerous. Very dangerous. You know? But not as dangerous as letting this guy go. Right. shooting how dangerous to shoot across a food court very dangerous very dangerous you know but not as dangerous as letting this guy go right you let this guy keep shooting people he's probably

going to shoot you next i mean he's probably just going to shoot every body he can get a hold of so people always talk about like oh there shouldn't be any more guns right like what is but how would you ever achieve that based on kind of where we are? You wouldn't. You would have to go full totalitarian where you'd have to like break into everyone's homes and have a full account of all their possessions. And then even then you wouldn't know what they have buried in their garage, buried in their backyard, buried in a storage unit somewhere. You'd have to literally comb the earth. There's more guns in this country than there are people.

Wow. Yeah. Like a lot more. That's unbelievable, earth. There's more guns in this country than there are people. Wow. Yeah. Like a lot more. That's unbelievable, man. It's pretty crazy. That means there's 320 million people in this country. There's more than 320 million guns. That's a lot of guns, son. And they're making new ones every day.

Dang. Every day, right now. Right? And making guns. I have two guns. That's all you have? Yeah. Well, come in and have more. I have two guns.

That's all you have? Yeah. How come you don't have more? I would consider getting one more. You would? I could talk you into it. Yeah, you could. What kind?

Would you like a shotgun? Like a home defense gun? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want something like that. Shotgun's great because you get a lot of things go flying at them. Yeah, and shotgun, you might not kill them too, huh? Do they make a gun that you definitely can't kill someone but you can you know you don't want that you want something that could stop a person because if a person's coming after you you don't want something that stuns them and then they

shoot you yeah you know if you're in that position where you're forced to use what they would call lethal force you want it to actually work you know everybody was always used to say that they would rather get stabbed than get gunned oh they're crazy but yeah and then recently i heard yeah you should get you should get shot if somebody's like hey i'm gonna shoot you or stab you say hey shoot me yeah well it depends on where they shoot you and where they stab you like they stab you in the top of the head you probably gonna be okay unless you're on they stab you. If they stab you in the top of the head, you're probably going to be okay. Unless you're on The Walking Dead.

Those guns, like those knives in The Walking Dead, they go right in your head. Yeah. You ever notice that? You know how hard it is to stab someone in the fucking skull and go right through their skull into their brain? It would be hard, huh? Yeah, unless you get them in the temple, it's difficult. But in The Walking Dead, they just... It's like they're made out of goo.

Yeah. Do you still watch it? No. No, it? No. No, it's terrible. And then also in The Walking Dead, the arrows don't go through the head, which is crazy. Yeah, they just get stuck. Because why is it so easy? They just get stuck.

It's more probably, it probably just seems more exciting. Yeah, I mean, it's just special effects. But also the arrows have field tips. They're not even using broadheads. They're using like target tips. Oh, I don't know that much about arrows yeah if you look at an arrow like in the walking dead the tips they don't have like a big broadhead like a big cutting edge yeah they have a point just a little pointy point that's enough to kill the

zombie and then you gotta pull the arrow out and it's fucking stupid yeah i'm trying to think of a zombie was coming at me and i didn't have a weapon, what I would use. I guess I would probably, because they can't, I think if they bite you, then you're done. That's the whole problem. You'd have to probably outrun them or try and get them dizzy, you know? What do you think would get a zombie dizzy? I think a lot of cutbacks, probably a lot of, you know, 180s, 720s. My favorite person in The Walking Dead was the lady with the samurai sword. She fucked everybody up.

Yeah, they have a new spinoff, actually. Is it just her? And I think it's her and someone else. Yeah, she had the dreadlocks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. After a while, though, like how many zombies can you watch get killed? Like, enough.

Yeah, it's almost weird if people are still watching it. Yeah, if you're like a big fan. You're the zombie. This new season is my favorite. What? I think it's better now than ever. You know, because it's like we've gotten over just killing zombies all day, and then it started getting scary again.

Dude, and none of the zombies, I wish they could cut away every now and then to some of the zombies trying to fuck on the side. You think zombies fucking make new zombies? Bro, come on. If you're a zombie dude, you know there's some cool ass zombies over on the side trying to get some of that fucking zombie puss, bro. I feel like it would be real easy to kill all the zombies. I don't think that would be the kind of epidemic that they claim in those shows. They move slow.

Okay. So they move slow, but they just keep coming back, man. Yeah, but like, if zombies are coming to Texas, they're going to get gunned down. Okay. They're not going to make it.

But what about at nighttime when people who are out there shooting start to get tired and they got to rest? They go inside. The zombies are like clawing at the door. They can't even figure out doorknobs. They're idiots.

Yeah. I need to take a break. I'm going to take a break. I'm going to shut this door. Take a nap on the kitchen floor. They're clawing at the doors. You wake up. Brew some coffee.

Reload. Get out there. Boom, boom, boom. Clean your porch off. Dude, you're right. Zombies are fucking idiots. They're idiots. The scary zombies 28 days later. Those are the scariest.

You ever seen that movie? I don't think I've seen that. Best zombie movie of all time. Unquestionably, hands down. It's number one. What about Bram Stoker's Dracula? Do you remember thatquestionably, hands down. It's number one. What about Bram Stoker's Dracula? Do you remember that movie?

Oh, fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. So fucking good, dude. Fuck yeah. That was a good movie, man. That was the best movie. God, it was good. Best vampire movie, rather.

That was really good. Remember how scared you used to get when you were a kid? Did you ever get fucking really scared? Oh, yeah, man. Yeah, little kids are vulnerable. You think vampires might be real. Maybe people don't know. Especially when we were kids, there was no fucking internet.

Yeah. You just ask somebody. If they were dumb, then you were dumb. People would tell you the ghosts were real, Bigfoot's real, everything. Yeah. Gary Oldman was the best Dracula. He was good. Not Bram Stoker's Dracula. He was good.

He played old Dracula, remember? He played Dracula with the white crazy hair and the wig. Let me think. Can we see an image of it? Yeah, he was a bunch of different ages in that movie. Because depending on how much blood he got, if he got the good blood, he would come back to life again. He got more young.

Yeah, do you remember? Fuck yeah. There was a scene where he was very, very old, and he met Keanu Reeves. Remember? I don't remember that good at the moment. Something happened. I think he was shaving, and Keanu- Oh, yeah.

He cut himself. Yeah. He cut himself. Yeah. And then he was helping him him shave wasn't he shaving him and then gary oldman licks the blade yeah oh that's if you can find that that scene old old dracula because he was old dracula and then he was young dracula and winona ryder fell in love with him she was beautiful oh she was so hot isn't that amazing like though that like women in these shows and

movies like twilight they fall in love with vampires like what psychologically what's going on there he is see how old he was yeah this is old dracula let me hear his voice look at his hair too vampires baby you drink count dracula i am and i bid you welcome mr harker to my heart Count Dracula, I am Dracula. And I bid you welcome, Mr. Harker, to my house. Blood gays, they call them a lot of people. Blood gays? Vampires. Look how they used to have to... Oh, he fucked up.

He walked in. Oh, you didn't see his shadow, though. Exactly. But it's also, he walked in. You're not supposed to walk in. When they invite you, or if you invite them in your house, you didn't see his shadow, though. Exactly. But it's also, you walked in. You're not supposed to walk in. When they invite you or if you invite them in your house, you're fucked. You. Yeah.

Oh. Dude, is this a Hampton Inn in Memphis? This shit looks insane, bro. What was he mad about? Back it up so we can hear what he was mad at him for. It is no laughing matter. Please, man. The fools have a right to be proud.

What devil or witch was ever so great as Attila, whose blood flows in these veins? Okay. Interesting. Okay. Interesting. Okay. It didn't seem so good. You know, when I saw it in the movies, it was pretty fucking good. But right there in that clip, I feel like many times on this show, I've said, man, there's a scene. You've got to see this scene.

And you watch the scene and you're like, that scene kind of sucks. Yeah. I mean, that happens more often than not, right? Yeah. It's more than you would think it would be because it's at least 50-50. Probably like, oh, fuck, that's stupid. Well, how old is that movie, too? 92.

92. Did you think it was going to be bad? Jamie, whenever he said, let's watch this scene, did you think it was going to be a bad one or did you have any pre-thought on it? I don't even remember that movie. I don't think I've even seen that movie, so I have no idea. Dude, I think women like vampires because, first of all, they offer that live forever. So women want to live forever. They want to be young forever.

They want to be immortalized in like a young space. Yeah. And maybe the dude will do the dirty work and they'll just profit off of it. Beauty sleep. Yeah. You get that beauty sleep in a coffin, you fucking sleep sleep. Nice castles. And then you rise like this.

Yeah. Yeah. Look at this. We're known to ride her. Ooh, she's hot. I'd ride her, dog. No wonder why Johnny got that tattoo. Oh.

So this is like young Dracula. See, he got the dark, dark hair. But she weighs only, look, she must weigh 90 pounds. This is the kind of stuff that's too much, man. What, you don't like small people? That's too, you can't be that, you can't be that light. Well, I don't know how big, actually I met Gary Oldman once. I met him at a store.

I didn't meet him, I saw him. I was standing in his presence at a store. He's Pete Davidson. He's not a big guy. Really? No, he's not big. So yeah, she probably is really tiny. Was there ever a movie?

Look at the mirror right there. Oh, look at that. Let me hear his voice. V, it's you, man. God, who are you? I know you. I have crossed oceans of time to find you. He's crossed oceans of time to find her.

Wow. He's thinking of biting her, but he doesn't want to bite her. Look, he turns away. I don't want to do this. Oh, his eyes are red. He doesn't want to turn her. He turns into a werewolf in this movie, too. Oh, the fangs are going to come out.

Why does he want to turn her? Because he just doesn't want to do it. But he's got to. God damn it. But he won't. Not yet. I won't. he won't. Not yet. I won't. I won't.

Oh, the wolf left him. He's got willpower. That wolf just bit some thot outside, you heard it. The end rate turns into their vampire you see that sure oh wait a minute back it up a little bit back it up a little bit so they come in so he's hugging her he loves her he's so sad oh he's biting her And then they come in. She's been bit. Damn.

Satan was the biggest enemy back then. Yeah, the fucking crucifix didn't even work on him. Look at that. That's Anthony Hopkins. So he must have... What does he got in that glass he's holding up? Is that holy water? Yes. So he must have what does he got in that glass is holding up holy water I forgot about this scene

Look at that. God is holding up a fucking gin and tonic towards him. Oh we threw those threw the water at him holy water Keanu Reeves already has white hair. He's been Freaking out. It's the same defense for an exorcism, it seems like, right? Holy water? I mean, just get a couple priests and yell at it. Look at that. She was mad that he's shooting.

I would have to get her, just cut her out of my life. Oh. Oh, we turned into a bunch of rats. Gang, gang gang no one's even stomping the rats all right well she's got blood pouring out of her mouth i wonder if there was a lot of uh i wonder if back then there was if um if like people were more sexually active back then, you think? In the past? Well, they probably fucked a lot more because they didn't live very long.

Right? They probably just fucked whenever they could. What a pickup line. We're not going to make it. Let's just have a couple glasses of wine. Yeah, like, hey, babe, line we're not gonna make it yeah let's just have a couple glasses of wine yeah like hey babe the median age around here is 27 we gotta fucking hammer it down but a lot of that was because people died young like they died it was a lot of uh infant mortality that was a big big issue like when you look at the actual age that people died back then. Some people lived to be a ripe old age, but it was pretty rare.

And a lot of infants, I guess a lot of infants just weren't that powerful or what was the deal with it? They didn't have medicine. So if they got sick, they died. Or if a lot of women died during childbirth because there was complications, now they save so many more people.

Do you think we're supposed to be living as long as we are? Or do you think like Mother Nature is like, oh, fuck, these people are hanging out too long? I don't think there's no supposed to. I think if biologically we're supposed to live to be roughly 100 years, if everything goes great, if everything goes perfectly, you live to be about 100 years. You live to be about 100 years. But I think that with modern science and our understanding of genes and hormones and telomeres and all the different anti-aging technologies they're working on right now, we're probably right now talking to people that live to be 150 years old. Damn. Yeah, I think you're seeing people today.

If you meet a guy and he's 30 years old today, that guy's probably going to live to be 150. That's crazy. Well, people live to be 120. That's a rare thing, but there's been some women that have made it to like 120. A lot of Chinese and Japanese people too as well. I think because their body's smaller and it doesn't have to, like the blood doesn't have to go as far.

That is true, believe it or not. Like basketball players die young for the most part. But like some of them, like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is still up and kicking, and he's up there. Bill Russell is as well. Yeah, but they die. So sometimes, yeah, it's weird because I'll get like so jealous of like a basketball player, but then I don't get that jealous when I remember that stat.

They live fast, die hard. Wow, he's 88. That's amazing. Louisiana, too. That's awesome. And he's 6'10". So that throws that into the monkey wrench, into those gears, because that was always the theory that the really tall guys, they would have heart attacks.

Yeah. But if you think about the idea is that your heart has to pump. All right. If you're a 6'8 person, your heart has to pump through all that limbs and all the way down to your feet and all the way back up, and it's just more complicated. That's why they don't let really tall people like that be fighter pilots. Because what could happen if they have a heart

it's like a g-force with the g-force you want to be more compact to be able to fight off the g-force because as the blood like pushes out like the g-forces literally force the blood out and make you black out so to stop the g-forces from making you black out you got to do a thing called hooking or like they're the fighter pilots like i flew with the Blue Angels once huh and they hold on to this this you know the the yoke the steering thing and while they're holding on to it they're going like this they're doing that when they hit high G's and what they're doing is they're forcing blood into their head dang I go on that that yeah they then making that sound.

Yeah, it's wild. And I guess the taller you get and the longer your limbs are, the more difficult that is to do. Damn. It's interesting now, yeah, certain people are really built for certain things, you know? Sure. That's really, really interesting.

Some people are built to be jockeys. Yeah, I met a nice jockey one time. I think Mario is his name. Yeah? Yeah, yeah yeah gutierrez i think is his last name and he's uh and yeah when you see those guys they don't even like to eat a lot of special meals or anything they like to keep it real they have to keep it real light yeah because if you're like five pounds overweight that's five more pounds that horse has to ride yeah you gotta be light to be a jockey i I met a dude who was a jockey He was used to come to the Comedy Store He was real small and you know He would diet and cut weight for races like they try to get as light as possible for a race

Which makes sense. Do you miss it? Do you miss the Comedy Store? Yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah, I miss the camaraderie I miss the fun hangs like we used to hang out in the back bar and hang out in the green room. And hang out in the parking lot. That's the fun I miss out of the comic store. But we have that in Austin. You know, the Austin hang is amazing. It's amazing here. You know?

Yeah, I was talking to Adam Iggy yesterday. He said you guys were hanging out. I got to show you the club. Oh, yeah, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can't talk too much about it. Okay. I'll show you some shit later.

Yeah, I'm excited. That's cool, man. Yeah, it's going to be wild. How many days are you in town for? I think until Thursday or Friday Okay I can stay either one So I know I'm gonna Do yeah

I think we're gonna do a show Wednesday Yeah We can do it tomorrow too If you want Okay Yeah I'm around Okay Well tomorrow during the day

I'll take you to the club Oh yeah Cause it's in mid construction right now It's wild. Are you nervous about it? No, I'm excited. That's cool. I'm real excited.

Yeah. It's fun. But just like the way it is right now, if nothing changed, if we didn't have another club, if this is what we have now, is all we have forever, it's great. It's still good. The Vulcan is amazing. Can I get that lighter? Yeah, for sure.

The Vulcan's amazing, man. We're having so much fun. We did a show last night. sold-out show last night. We do them all the time. Yeah, I thought about coming through, but instead I decided to get some sleep. I went to a trainer this morning. You got a purse? Dude, I've been feeling a lot better since I started going to a trainer.

Is this trainer with the purse? Is this a new one that you just tried? This was one that I tried in this area. Yeah. How did you get hooked up with them? Just on the internet. Craigslist? No.

I got an assistant lady that helps me out. She set it up. Okay. You got an assistant, huh? Just for some, like, just scheduling stuff. Makes things easier. I decided to take more pressure off myself. Yeah, I'm going to use this match, though.

I don't like that. You don't like the lighter? It's too much. Too much. pressure off myself. Yeah, I'm going to use this match, though. I don't like that. You don't like the lighter? It's too much. Too much. Just too hardcore. Yeah. Yeah, I don't have, like, an assistant. Like, I don't have, like, somebody who's, like, a.

Waiting on your hand and foot. Yeah, I don't have, like, a maid or anything. I just have somebody that helps schedule stuff and put it into the calendar, you know? So some stuff like that makes it easier on me. Sure. So, yeah, I've been just scaling back a little bit more. Yeah. Taking it easy.

I got a trainer. And, man, I've been feeling so much better. You look good. Thanks, man. Yeah, you look healthy. I feel so much better even the last time I was here. Really? Oh, man.

What's the difference? For one, it's the training. Yeah? Yeah. That's nice. I mean, it's like, because for 20 years, I was like a meathead, you know? I was like, you know, I used to do steroids and everything, dude. I used to be into it.

You know what I'm saying? Right. Let me hear a grr. Grr. That's real. I'll sweat on your fucking children. Whoa. Jesus.

You know what I'm saying? That's who I was, bro. You know what I'm saying, dude? I'll fucking eat one of my own hands, dude. You know what I'm saying? That's who I was, bro. You know what I'm saying, dude? I'll fucking eat one of my own hands, dude. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's who I was, bro. You were crazy. Oh, yeah.

I was just, you know, I liked it. And so I think it just kept me more in my body and more stuff like that. And so then whenever work got busy, I didn't, that was one of the first things to really kind of go. I didn't realize it was going, but it was just, just too too it was things were too hectic too caught up with the career yeah yeah well that's that's a thing about you know career stuff and that's also a thing about Hollywood do you do you like living in Nashville yeah I like it right now I'm training with a guy named Jeremy and Curtis don't you know that like I just because it's going to burn your fingers. I'm watching. I'm like, how long before he says yikes?

It's tough when you get like a little lighter and you got to do a cigar because right now you're right at the nail. Oh, good timing. Praise the Lord, bro. You nailed it. I burned my sister once when we were doing fireworks and nothing like that's ever going to happen

to our family again. Yeah? You're done, huh? Done with getting burned? Done with people that bob failed with getting burned but uh so that's been really helping man i go in there and there's like pro athletes in there and stuff that train and so it's like and there's like kids in there and this place that train so there's like this all it's just like a lot of good energy um i go to this

place called lipscomb academy in the morning okay and so there's just like a lot of fun energy in there. And, uh, yeah, man, it just started to, it started to change. And then I even been doing a, uh, ice bath. It's not as low as yours, but I've just been doing like, um, I've just taken more time to take care of myself. That's great. You know, I got so busy. I just got, I got scared that my work was, you know, I don't know. A lot of things happen. I got kind of scared, you know, that happens to people when things start going well, you start thinking Oh my god, what if it stops going? Well, what if it all falls apart? That's that's that can be a real mind fuck it fucked me. It can be a real mind fuck. It was a real I mean it was a raper. What was it? What caused it? Was it like?

Were you worried about? Ticket sales where you're worried about coming up it like, were you worried about ticket sales? Were you worried about coming up with new material? Were you worried about TV stuff? What were you worried about? Let me think. So I think I thought that whenever I achieved some success, and we might have talked about this a little,

but that I was going to, everything was going to feel, any uncomfortable feelings I had, I thought all that would be everything would be great. I Thought like once I achieved some success Then it would solve everything else and it didn't really solve anything I just was kind of successful and now I had a lot of responsibilities and you still have the same problems in your mind, right? Yeah, that's the thing is like people think that and that shook me success is gonna make you happy It can actually make you happy. It can actually make you less happy because you get stressed out about it.

That's what happened. And there's a lot of pressure. Yeah. Especially our kind of success, showbiz success, because you're dealing with public criticism. You're dealing with the performance anxiety. You're dealing with the fact that you have to schedule all these shows and go to places. And the logistics and the travel wears you out. And you're jet're jet lagged and you got to wake up for the show and you know yeah a lot going on yeah a lot of responsibility and it changes from when you were kind of doing comedy and everything was just kind of you go for a week to do some shows and then things get a lot busier

you know yeah so that definitely happened for me um and then I got caught in this weird circle of like kind of self-pity in a way. I didn't realize it. Yeah. Because I was not feeling good. And I was like, something's wrong. So let me try to fix it. Right. So I tried like all different things like, you know, I tried ketamine, ayahuasca, different therapies, different, you know, seeing therapists twice.

We just things like but i was constantly like let me try to fix this right and it became almost like i was focusing on myself so much that i got caught in this little circle of like it was just just me you know and my work is me too you're looking at clips yourself there's things that you going out you have to go perform so it was just too much me kind of, you know. Right. You weren't being a normal person. Right.

Just living life. You're just focusing on you all the time. Right. And I didn't really mean to. It just like, I don't know. It's just kind of what it became. So once I started to kind of break that up a little bit, yeah, things have just got started. Why did you decide to go to Tennessee?

Why did Nashville call you? You know, I don't know. yeah things have just got what made you decide to go to tennessee like what what why did nashville call you you know i i don't know i think i always wanted to live there you know um they had lower taxes you know and i started making money and so i got i never you know i remember when i was young the government we tried to get the government somebody kept throwing dead animals in our ditch right and uh what yeah on mcgee street carcasses but what kind which which type of animals oh i couldn't tell you man at this point i think some of them probably nothing nothing you'd shoot i don't think you know i mean I mean, unless it was like... Possums and shit? Like, what was it? I mean, one of them could have been

a fucking Samoan raccoon is about the biggest size as we're gonna get. You know, it was like... A hefty raccoon. Yeah, hefty raccoons, dogs, things like that. I think it was somebody

who had like on a, you know, a mild veterinary type of thing going on and they would, on the way home, they would dump the animals and they dumped them

in our neighborhood. A mild veterinary thing. Or, you know. Serial killer. Like an in-between type of deal. You know, some guy who's not sanctioned, but he's fucking, you know. Not quite committed to, like, migrant workers, killing migrant workers yet. He's just working his way up to human beings.

Yeah, I mean, however you want to look at it, man. But I think this, but they kept throwing anyway. So we'd call the government and be like, come get these fucking bones out of here because you know there'll be kids out there fucking playing with them you know you got kids out there beating each other with damn tibias and fucking humming caustics at each other and stuff and you know because it's in the ditch right and so anyway i was never a big fan of government after that right what the fuck did the government ever do with that with the ditch would? Would you ask me about it? I'm not even joking, man.

What would you ask me about? We're talking about animals. You're saying animals got left in the ditch, and then you said I wasn't a big fan of the government after that. I'm like, how did the government, because they didn't clean up the animals in the ditch? Is that what it is? Yeah. Okay.

And if we'd have been and lived in a fancy neighborhood, they would have come and got it. Right. They would have come and got right Yeah, yeah, but this ties back into what we were just talking about Which was do you remember what that was why you moved to Nashville? Yeah? Yeah, so I would never want to go Yeah, so anyway, I've never had a strong affinity for big for you know a lot of government. So anyway, I think that was in me since I was a child. So when I started making money, I was like, I don't want to give all my money to the government.

Right. But the environment of California before the pandemic was very beneficial to us because we were all collected together. Right. As comedians, that's very beneficial to have an environment where there's a bunch of other very good comedians around you. beneficial to have an environment where there's a bunch of other very good comedians around you it's like yeah like that or like watching people go up and crush and the or like how good is that for your act oh it was the best that's one thing that i definitely miss um but tennessee was being it's been good it's a great place for the pandemic it's been good to tour out of there because you can kind of you can just take a bus right out and go you're in the middle of the country yeah it's

nice so you're really so that's really been ideal. Yeah, and I don't know. I've thought about maybe making another move sometime, but I just don't know yet. Where would you go? I don't know. I'd have to go to a place where there's a little more stage time.

That's the toughest part. Right here, baby. I know you're trying to get me over here. You could. I'd love to have you over here. Well. I'm going to fucking wine you and dine you this week. Damn. I'm going to romance you over here. Well. I'm going to fucking wine you and dine you this week. Damn.

I'm going to romance you. Take you to the club. Once you see the club, you're going to fucking shit. It's wild. I'll bite. It's wild. It'll be open probably somewhere. Well, I don't want to say when.

But off here, I'll tell you. So that's the toughest part, I think, is- Stage time. Yeah. But you go into Zaney's a lot was a great place, right? Yeah, but the most yeah, you can go there on Monday. It's just but it's still operating regular club Oh, so do they have shows like Tuesday Wednesday night like regular shows they it's they kind of book certain like nights at night You could do your own night every week, but it's still not the same as just those reps

You know right like Comedy Store reps and I really learn on reps that's where i learn i learn on reps yeah the when when i was really enjoying la is like when i would do a show at the improv and then i would scoot over to the show the store and then i'd do maybe two shows at the store you know you do a spot in the or and then you do a spot in the main room like yeah boy you do the three or four of those in a week you you get loose. Oh, dude. Oh, you get loose. You get loose. You know that feeling when the gears are greased? Yeah. I used to feel like a fucking killer, dog.

You're a killer, bro. I used to feel like Chris Kyle up there, dog. I remember when you really started to crack. I really remember that, man. Because I made a point of pulling you aside and telling you. like, man, whatever you're doing, keep doing it. Because I remember there was one time where it was – I think it was me and Fahim were sitting in the back watching you just crying laughing, just crying laughing. You just, like, caught some stride.

It's, like, funny when some – you know, you see someone and they're funny, it's good, like, hey, man, that was a good was good set and then you see one day and it just snaps they just hit that next level And you're like ooh, and we were all talking about you to be like damn. You've been seeing Theo Theo's on this next level Thanks, man That's cool You you had hit some some groove where you just like everything you said was funny You just had you just figured your style out and you you were doing so many reps you were doing so many headliner gigs on the road and

you'd be in the store on tuesdays and wednesdays and getting those reps in and you were just loose son you were loose that was fun man and especially you and fahim that's two totally different types of guys back there you know but two But two comedians that I really respect. That's a nice compliment. I love Fahim. Fahim's great. God, he's so good. He was just here a couple weeks ago. Yeah.

He's fucking great. He's got a special out right now, folks. It's called Hat Trick. And I think he put it on YouTube, right? Yeah. Is that where he put it on? It's very funny. He's very funny. He did.

But he did a really unique thing that no one's ever done before. He's very funny. He did. But he did a really unique thing that no one's ever done before. He did three 20-minute sets or three 15-minute sets at the Comedy Store. So he did one set in the OR, one set in the belly room, one set in the main room. And he put them all together on one special. Three totally different 15-minute sets.

Oh, that's good. It's a great idea, right? For a special? Yeah, it's a great idea. Perfect idea for a special. Because nobody had ever done that before at the store. And he was like, I can't believe no one's ever done this. Oh, he's so talented, man.

Yeah, there's just like, he's, yeah, there's a unique creativity that comes out of him. Well, he was an engineer, you know? Yeah. So he's a very smart guy. And, you know, very well educated and just decided he really loved comedy like that's what he really wanted to do it was he his story with the first time he's on the podcast he talked about a story about his parents did not want him to do comedy so they had to hide the fact that he was a comedian until he was like a legit pro and on TV oh damn his parents

did not want him pursuing that. I could see that. I think a lot of people are real traditional, you know? They get scared if their kid's trying to do circus, you know? I remember when I was growing up, we had a kid in our neighborhood, this kid Brad, who ended up actually killing his grandmother, I think. Oh, no. Why'd he kill his grandmother? I don't know, man. It fucking broke my heart.

Did she doubt his circus skills? I don't know, man. It fucking broke my heart. Did she doubt his circus skills? I don't know who did, man, but it just, you know. So what was his thing that he was trying to do? He was trying to do, like, the taming or whatever, you know? Like lion taming? Yeah, but I only saw him ever do it with, like, a Doberman. What's that black and red? Rottweiler?

Rottweiler. Oh. Rottweiler or Doberman. I can't remember which one it was. Have you seen that new show, The Old Man? Is it Jeff Bridges' show? Uh-uh. It's a fucking great show.

It's a great show. It's really good. It's about a guy who was a CIA operative in Afghanistan and had to disappear. And they come and find him again like 30 plus years later. It's wild. And what does he do? They're finding him. Why? Well, he was a hitman. Oh, they want him find him again like 30-plus years later. It's wild. And what does he do? They're finding him. Why?

Well, he was a hitman. Oh, they want him to help again? He knows too much shit. They're probably trying to come get him. He was, well, I don't want to say he's a hitman. He was an operative. And he's got two Rottweilers. He brings them everywhere, like trained Rottweilers.

Yeah. And they help him out. Yeah, this dude would get out on kind of like a little plank out there and be doing shit out there, you know? And he really had a lot of violence in him. And then, yeah, I don't know what happened with his grandmother, but she used to be our lunch lady also. And he killed her? I don't want to say he did, but... Allegedly?

We know what happened. But you don't know why he killed her? No. Why would you kill your grandma? I wouldn't. Actually, imagine the? No. Why would you kill your grandma? I wouldn't. Can you imagine the leap you have to take to kill your grandma? Your grandma is like this sweet lady you come to visit every now and again, and she bakes cookies and shit.

My grandmother used to make Italian food. Oh, my God. It was off the charts. Really? Off the charts because it was all homemade. I still to this day can taste her homemade pasta because she would do everything on the kitchen table with the flour and she would make the noodles and everything.

She would make the tomato sauce with the tomatoes that my grandfather grew in the garden. Come on, man. That's romantic. It was insanity. It was insanity. That food was so good. That food ruined me as a child.

God. Because I'd go other places. I'm like, why is your Italian food bullshit? Yeah. You know? Because my grandmother made everything. She made her own meatballs. It was sensational. me as a child because i go other places i'm like why is your italian food yeah you know because my grandmother made everything she made her own meatballs it was sensational yeah there's something when somebody makes something there's like an energy that goes into it it's different even if it's shitty you're still like hey this is yeah you know they took some time to do it and my grandmother was proud of it too she would when she would serve us she would come out

with this big smile on her face. She knew everybody was going to feast. She knew that Italian food was going to knock your fucking socks off. Fuck yeah. It was so good. And was she pretty hard? What kind of lady was she? Pretty nice lady? She was a harsh lady.

Really? Yeah, she was harsh, except for when she was cooking and when she was visiting and stuff like that. You know, she grew up in the Depression. Yeah, it was different then. My grandmother used to put her hands on my shoulders until I'd get done eating. Almost like it was like a... I don't know why she did it.

Was she comforting you? Not really. Or was she, like, restraining you? It was almost like, I'm going to set these on here until... It was like just making sure you ate. Oh. You know?

Isn't that weird that, like, people have to make sure you eat? Like, what do you give a fuck? What do you give a fuck if I eat? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, what if they had a dude that came to your door three times a day? I made sure you ate.

Sit down. Just to make sure. Sit down. I'm going to put my hands on your shoulders. He's behind you while you're chewing your food. I'll order the chick, bro. I ain't having the dude come. That dude shows up one time, bro, and it's hot dogs for dinner.

I'm not going to be able to fucking finish. I'll have the lady come, bro. That's who I want. Well, you know, my grandmother's day, there wasn't a lot of food when she was a kid because everybody was going through the Depression. Yeah. So, like, you know, you had to finish your plate, man. It's like that was sacred. Food was sacred.

And then leftovers were sacred too you know you think you could have survived the Great Depression yeah I mean you'd hope so people survived but it's like it wouldn't have been fun hard to get a job you know lines for food people would wait in line at soup kitchens and shit and and people also breastfed their own kids they did are their own till how old but? Up until how old? But even older adult children. Even like in Grapes of Wrath.

Yeah, remember that book? They breastfed their kids in Grapes of Wrath? They breastfed the adults at the end. Really? People couldn't, they didn't have nothing. Yeah, Joe, what do you think they're not going to eat? I read that book in high school. I don't remember.

People got to fucking eat, dude. Yeah. I wonder if you were to say somebody's deceased right right deceased woman recently deceased half hour ago okay and they were pregnant and you're starving okay do you think you'd get over there and see if there's any milk in them no just have some milk dude damn if she's deceased i'd eat her i wouldn't eat her milk if i'm starving yeah you'd have to eat take chunks what if you're just thirsty yeah there was some fucking article in the

New York Times about cannibalism coming back and everybody's like what the fuck is this yeah see see my man well it's just not that much poverty yet I mean the United States everyone's fat like we don't have to resort to eating people just yet but a lot of but I've read I was like, why are they writing this article? In New Orleans, every couple of years, they catch somebody that boiled someone's head or something. Really? Oh, definitely, brother. A taste for cannibalism.

There you go. A lot of recent stomach-churning books, TV shows, and films suggest we've never looked so delicious to one another. Like, what is that? Well, you know what it is? It's something that gets you to click on it, and that's what we're doing because we're idiots but do you think also that there would come a time where people started to dislike each other so much that people started to eat each other well there have been many times in history where people have resorted to eating each other specifically eating each other's enemies like the nez perce native amer Americans they they did a lot of cannibalizing all right he's all right yeah there's a lot of a lot of stories

about people who survived and realize that they're in even the Comanches like they would find other tribes that had eaten Comanches and they would torture and kill them because like they would find like a roast leg a human leg over a fire it tweets a little yeah it that. Yeah, the tweet's, okay, the tweet is the original title of the story. It says, Cannibalism has a time and place. Some recent books, films, and shows

suggest that time is now. Can you stomach it? Yeah, that was the original title that I read. I think they changed it because so many people were like, hey, you fucks. Yeah, if you see someone eating somebody else you know i wonder how weird it gets because i was on a train one time in china and this lady was eating a

thing of bird talons right out of a bag right bird talons bird um claws chicken feet yeah chicken feet that's funny that you said that because my wife just went to an Asian market in Austin and she came back with chicken feet like that had been like cooked and like and she's like we're gonna we're gonna try these my yeah all right I'll give it a shot damn your wife's brave she's brave when I was a kid my my father my biological father used to eat pig's feet pickled pig's feet yeah thing you ever eat pig's feet we had him on a field trip once when I was in middle school we all went over there and got a pickled pig's feet was a thing. You ever eat pig's feet? We had them on a field trip once when I was in middle school. We all went over there and got a pickled pig's foot from the IGA.

They're not bad. It's a weird taste. It's like gelatinous and kind of chewy. I remember as a kid, pickled pig's feet was – but that's also probably a sign of people making the most of everything. Yeah. When you stop eating pig's feet and you only eat, like, pork loin, you got it pretty good.

Yeah. You know, you don't have to eat the feet anymore. Yeah, I think, well, a lot of cultures, I think they get starving and then they say they eat whatever, you know. It's like one time I was in Shanghai, I think. I don't know. I was in, I think, Shanghai, right? And I bought this.

They had, like, a place, like a market where they had all the different animals. And they were for cooking, right? Like an outdoor market or something. A wet market. Wet market, right? So I bought a bird, right? And I was like, I'm going to free this bird, right? I'm just going to change the game up here a little bit.

Because it was a living bird. Right. It was like a white bird, not a pigeon, like a little fluffier than a pigeonier than a pigeon like a beast almost like a bichon of like a pigeon okay so i buy it it's like a one dollar a dollar i walk outside with like a one u.s dollar right i walk outside with it it was this was in vietnam i walk outside with it and i literally go like this and it falls to free it some guy no joke was like sitting on this little like ledge nearby jumped up grabbed the fucking bird broke its neck and walked off with it right in front of me yeah just like like what i was doing was insane they must have thought

what i was doing was insane well if you're starving that's free food yeah and birds birds are some of the meanest fucking animals have you seen that video that's going're starving, that's free food. Yeah. And birds, birds are some of the meanest fucking animals. Have you seen that video that's going around? No. The bird that's eating an antelope alive. Have you seen that? You think they're mean? Oh, they're vicious.

They're so fucking horrible. Why do you think? Because they can't be on the ground as much as other animals easily? I just think they're reptiles. They're flying reptiles. Are they more reptile? Yeah. I mean, what a bird is is a reptiles they're flying reptiles are they more reptile yeah I mean what a bird is is a dinosaur they're flying dinosaurs yeah look at this this eagle is riding this antelope's back and just it's got its

claws dug into its back so you see all the blood pouring off the back and it's just digging into its body because those claws the talons that an eagle has are so powerful. So it's just riding this thing and then eating out of its rib cage while it's just slowly dying. And that antelope can't do a goddamn thing to get away. It's like one of those moving buffets that you're at. You ever been at one of those?

One of those where the food moves by as you're eating it? I got another video, I'll send you this, Jamie, of this, Jamie. There's a hawk that's eating a crow. It holds the crow down. And the crazy thing is it's not much smaller than the crow. Or not much larger rather than the crow. Which is wild.

Because it's just chewing this fucking thing apart. Oh, I saw a bear climb into a tree yesterday. I put it on my IG story and and it was a bear you saw that no no that's not it I'm gonna send it to you oh I saved it here hold on a second I actually have the whole video the Oh bear bear climbed up a tree and took a hawk out of its nest and ate it oh yeah front of people right people like we were watching it happen. Some white guy was eating it and yelling. I sent it to you, Jamie.

I sent you the video. This video is rough. And this is an urban environment. This hawk just grabbed his crow and pinned him down and just started fucking him up in front of everybody. But the thing is, it's basically- Like at a mall or something? It's like you eating a 140-pound man.

There's not enough difference in size where it makes sense. It's so Similar that's like Jesus Christ and get it you didn't get it Yeah, was cannibalism ever popular was it ever like the way to do dinner or whatever like was it ever like part of? Like society or not society because i guess it would be before society but was it ever a popular thing yeah yeah it was popular in papua new guinea papua new guinea had uh one this is it look at this so look at the size of the crow it's basically similar size man right oh he's got him he's got him but look not much difference in size he's in mount huh he's mounting them yeah he's fucked but look at this poor crow and if you hear it give me some volume turn it from the beginning because in the beginning you hear that

that's the crow saying fuck it's holding his mouth shut no he's holding his neck animals should be able to say fuck at least once huh he should right before they die yeah he's basically what he's saying but look see the blood coming out of his neck see it's leaking out onto the ground damn because the talons that hawk the hawk's eyes are what haunt me. Look at those eyes. Those eyes don't give a fuck about anybody or anything. Those are some horrific eyeballs. Yeah.

That crow's like, fuck this. He's trying to eat his eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll eat his eyes first. Oh, come on, man. Yeah, look. He's doing claws right into the eyes. But see, they're not...

The thing that's crazy is that it doesn't seem like a thing that he would eat. Because it's basically the size of him. Yeah. And why do you think they're angry at each other? It's just one's a predator and the other one's just a very clever sort of opportunist. Yeah. Like, crows will fuck things up too, but they just don't have the weaponry.

Yeah, they do it more in groups and they seem like kind of like, yeah. They're very smart. Yeah, and who else? Oh, he's getting his eyes with the fucking talons. Oh, look at this, huh? They're blowing something out of you? It's probably a watermark for some website or something. It's just so interesting how, like, people have evolved and how some places they're still like,

oh, it's okay to eat somebody else. Dude, if you saw somebody eat someone, that would have to change everything you know in your brain about what's okay. Yeah. Well, if you're starving to death, man, I guarantee you people. Well, that was one of the things during Stalin's Russia when people starving a lot of people ate their own children. I Mean it got Raccoons eat their own, you know, sometimes the man raccoon will come in eat the woman's children Yeah, so that she'll have to go in a heat again so that they can have sex bears do that

Bears do that a lot a lot of animals do that they force the animal into estrus well i told you about that time remember that i was at that best buy and i've been on that fast for five days and almost wanted to eat that vietnamese guy and i'd never thought about that before why did you go on a fast for five days i was gonna go longer but i couldn't do it wow So this is like a cleansing type fast? Yeah. I've done 24 hours. That's the most I've ever done. Really? Yeah. They say that it can help cure cancers

and stuff like that. It makes sense. There's science to that that your body, I forget what the type of cells that your body consumes, but when you are fasting during that period, your body will consume bad cells That's like one of the first things it does. Oh, it gets rid of them

Yeah, it gets rid of things that are problems in your body. That's why they say it's a benefit But it's not a benefit to do it a lot. You know, it's just a benefit to do it on a you know, like a fairly You know stretched out basis like people do like once or twice a year Well, they'll go in like a three or four day fast but you went on five huh yeah i wish i could do longer because yeah your senses start to get real you know you start to think you have like kind of like esp a little bit really you know hunters think that that you should hunt hungry like a lot of guys like to hunt hungry i could see that yeah they like to like when they go out and hunt they like to like have no breakfast in them oh i could see that for sure yeah it's a different sort of mindset

yeah there's something about that primal side of stuff you know getting real primal and getting back to your roots i remember i'd wake up in the morning if i'm fast and i wake up in the morning just ready to go yeah yeah you're just like how come he only did it once mmm. I probably got busy doing other stuff Maybe was that feeling of eating that guy that? Fuck with you. They could have been it could have fucking myself subconscious But it's crazy to think that you'd never thought about something and it comes into your head It just shows you how quickly you could devolve you know and you take it very seriously. I took it I Took it seriously. I didn't tell him

You know something you want to tell somebody if they're on an afternoon shift. I mean, I didn't tell him. Maybe you should tell him after you eat. Go to Arby's real quick. Bye-bye. Hey, bud, I was here earlier. Maybe I looked at you weird. I want to apologize for that.

I just want to let you know. I was on a five-day fast, and you were looking like a snack. I wonder what he would think. Hey, Billy, fuck this job. I got to quit. This whole neighborhood, this town sucks. I got to get out of here. Yeah, I wonder if shit's going to start getting weird.

I think some people want stuff to start getting weird. I think we are designed to... Do you want another one of those? Yeah. Those coffees? Yeah. Yeah? We get a couple of those.

Do you want the chocolate kind or the vanilla kind? Is that vanilla? What is that? I've had the vanilla. Let me try vanilla again because I didn't taste it that much. Get them one vanilla

and two chocolates. Yeah. Thanks, man. Because I like the chocolate ones. Those are those Black Rifle Coffee 300 milligram of caffeine jammies. Whoa! Yeah.

I cut mine in half with water. Do you? Yeah. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. Yeah, that's how I did it, man. Lighten it up like a gin and tonic, that kind of deal. Yeah. Yeah, scotch and soda, right?

Yeah, I like to cut it down. I'm real sensitive to stuff. Yeah? Yeah. Things get me. Like that smelling salt? Yeah. Want to hit another? um yeah I like to cut it down I'm real sensitive to stuff yeah yeah things get me like that that smelling salt yeah wanna hit another

fuck yeah I'll hit that bitch okay when Jamie comes back right before we have the shout out to Juju Mufu did I say his name yeah Juju Mufu

Juju Mufu Juju Mufu's stuff is ridiculous I'm gonna have to call my sponsor after this. The chocolate ones are good, man. I know you're committed to that vanilla, but these chocolate ones. All right, I'll try it.

I'm trying new stuff these days. Chocolates of the bomb diggity. This is my favorite. It's espresso. Okay, there's the Jujumufu. Oh, this is good, huh? Fuck yeah, dude. This is good, right?

Dude, I went and did ayahuasca, man. I don't know if I told you about that. When did you do it? I did it a couple months ago. Yeah? Yeah. Had you ever done it fully? No, I've never done ayahuasca.

I've only done DMT, but I got a guy out here now. Yeah? Yeah, so if you want to do it, it's one more reason to move here. Damn, you're trying to get me in, huh? I'm trying to weasel you in. Look, man, I definitely miss a lot of the camaraderie and stuff, you're trying to get me in, huh? I'm trying to weasel you in. Look, man, I definitely miss a lot of the camaraderie and stuff, you know? The camaraderie is nice because it's like

we had a thing at the comedy store that was very, very unusual for comedy. And it was good. It was really good. And it's the times had changed to the point where comedians were beneficial to each other because of podcasts and we were all helping each other because of podcasts and, you know,

we were all, like, helping each other as opposed to, like, competing for, like, scraps, which is, like, during the 90s and the 2000s. Everybody was trying to get a sitcom. They were competing with each other, and it was, like, a lot of animosity. But then in the late 2000s, like, in the 2015s and 16s, like, everybody had already realized, like, no, no, no.

Like, we don't, there's no struggle here. We all help each other. This is great. And then we'd go and laugh and have fun. It would just make you excited about what you did for a living. You wanted to go there all the time. The hang was some of the most fun part, hanging out with Burr and smoking cigars

and that back porch area, everybody would be chilling and smoking weed and laughing. And Gay Jeff was out there. Remember him, the pianist? Oh, yeah, man. I miss Jeff. Sorry, what's his last name? I shouldn't call him Gay Jeff.

Probably a bad idea since he's gone. But he loved to be gay. He did. Jeff Scott. Yes. And I'd say that, yes. I'm sorry. He loved to be gay.

Well, he loved to be himself. Yes. And the fact that he was loved and accepted and no one gave a shit if he was gay yeah he had hiv i would split joints with him all the time we'd pass joints around like no even remember during the i don't know if you remember but during the 90s when the i remember when i got my first aids test i was like shit i'm fucking nervous i am nervous yeah you know because i was like at the time i'm fucking nervous. I am nervous. Yeah. You know, because I was like, at the time, I think I was 23. And you think about all the days on the road where, you know, in a town and you meet a nice lady and you're in New Hampshire and no one has a condom.

And you're like, fuck it. They don't even have condoms up there. They do, but they're made out of sheepskin. But the truck broke down and didn't get the condoms there that year. It was different times, bro. Couldn't make it up before the snow. Condom trucks sidetracked. Oh, yeah, man.

Dude, I remember getting a test even just from even masturbating. I remember I got tested. You were worried? I was so scared. You were in the air? I was just worried that I'd gotten something in my hand or I'd done something, you know. I just got so much fear, you know. But I remember getting tested

I remember talking to Jerry O'Connell one time, you know, that is yeah the actor. Yeah from Stand by me. Yeah. Yeah, really awesome guy He talked about living in New York City in his building During the AIDS epidemic and he said like half the people in his building died like half of his neighbors died Oh shit And he said it was just so wild when he was a kid like that these people he knew and they just started to disappear didn't you interview Robert Kennedy jr. yeah yeah he's his voice is getting better I just texted with him oh that's great yeah but

his story about Anthony Fauci that book which talks about why those people were dying because they were all on AZT and AZT was that cancer medication yeah yeah it was a chemotherapy medication they stopped giving to people because it was killing them quicker than cancer was and they started giving it to people who had AIDS and it was helping them no oh it wasn't uh-uh it was killing them and they were giving it to people that had no symptoms so they just tested HIV positive they'd give him AZT and it was just killing them really cuz you used to hear AZT and it was just killing him.

Really? Because you used to hear AZT was what cured HIV. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. AZT they abandoned. They abandoned it because it was too harsh. But Fauci pushed it during the early days of the AIDS pandemic. The AIDS epidemic was rough, man. I mean, obviously no one knew exactly what was going on.

You can't fault people for trying different things out and trying different strategies out to contain the virus. But according to Robert Kennedy Jr., there's a lot more to it than that. Yeah, he's a really interesting guy. I know him just even as friends, and he's got some fascinating stories even from growing up. They used to take these homing pigeons, and they would give them to the train conductor and have them take them like a hundred miles or something, him and his friend. And whoever's got back first won. So it was just like this cool

game they would play. Isn't that wild that a pigeon can use the magnetic field of the earth and they track it like a GPS system straight back to you yeah and we have to pay a million dollars to build something like that and god did it in a fucking nut well they think that people had some kind of ability to to like

know where they were and know where they were going we just lost it which makes sense to me because now that i have navigation like even in aust Austin, I've been in Austin for two years. I barely know how to get around. I know how to get to work. I know how to get to the clubs. I know how to get to the restaurants that I like. Other than that, I don't know where the fuck I'm going. But when I lived in Massachusetts,

but back in the day when there was no navigation, I knew how to get everywhere. I knew the 405 and whatever the roads were. I forget the roads. But I don't think it's good for us having navigation because here's what I noticed so I'll use navigation, right? Right. So now I know the my computers tell me where to go so now my brain is free to just think about whatever and Sometimes my brain will use that time to think about negative it gets end up getting a negative stuff

Whereas it used to be if my brain had a task and it was having to pay attention where i was going then it would i felt like it was better for my brain because it was busy you know like your brain has to be busy with a task or it thinks negative i think well it's one of the things that i think these days it's like you know like a long time ago i think i wasn't alive but like a long time ago i think that our senses have to be in the world like yeah we had to be aware if there were lions what the weather was going to be like where our kids were at our hip like you're in the moment you're in the moment you had to survive like you know it was different and now since most of our comforts are met in america yeah i I feel sometimes like those senses didn't disappear.

I feel like they just went inside of us. So now they're hunting like any uncomfort that comes up inside of us. So I think it's like why we have so much more mental health struggles because we're still like as alert as ever, but the only fearful things are inside of us now for some reason, for some people. That makes sense. You know, I was listening to some guy talk about anxiety the other day. And one of the things that he was talking about with anxiety, he said, it's basically people's desire and ability to problem solve for the future.

So you start thinking about what may or may not happen in the future and you get anxiety. And in the past you had to dwell on exactly what was in front of you right there and then. Like I'm hungry, my children are hungry, I got to find an animal and kill it and figure out how to cook it. Right. And that was what people occupied their day with. And then when all that's gone, you could just go to McDonald's and feed yourself for three bucks. And you're sitting there fat and full. And then you're just thinking. You start thinking about weird shit.

Yeah, because whatever your natural instincts, they don't have any. They're like, what the fuck do I do? What is this like? I need to still hunt something. I need to still kill something. So they start hunting you. Ooh, they start hunting your fears. You start creating problems.

I'm sure. Yeah, I think so. Well, that's why I'm a big advocate of working out really hard. Oh, dude, it's, bro, it is. I can't even tell you. I don't know how I forgot it. I mean, I was a fucking dude. We used to, you know, good, dude.

We used to fucking go, you know, I remember used to fucking go you know i remember driving to the taco bell and fucking doing steroids in the car bro we used to fucking you know what i'm saying bro taco bell parking lot dog i do 50 ml just to fucking put down oh to put down a fucking mexican pizza wow you're ready to get jacked how big were you at one point in time um photos uh yeah i think there's some old images out there theo jack maybe any posing photos um oh no nothing like that bro like them brown sugar babies i didn't do all of that bro out there just black body and a buddy of mine sent me a buddy of mine that i used to compete with and back in the day sent me some photos of me and him at the Bay State Games from 1986.

Ooh, the Bay State Games. That sounds... Yeah, I'll send it to you, Jamie. I was probably 202. Yeah? Jacked. Oh, dude, I was fucking jacked. I could fucking chew on my traps.

Really? Just reach over and take a bite? Damn. Oh, fucking good. Do you miss those days? Well, I don't in some ways because I was doing some type of testosterone or something. So you get a little bit jacked, but then when you come off it, it was a little tougher, you know? Right. You'd be depressed.

Right. But I miss some of those days. The thing I realized I missed also was the camaraderie of just being in the gym and getting those devils out. Yeah, and hanging out with other people that are doing the same thing you're doing. Yeah, and joking around. You realize, oh, I'm okay. See, that is me with the blue jacket on. On the right?

Yeah, the far right. Damn, dog. You was fine, bro. Thank you very much. That was cutie. That's my friend. Well, go back to the picture, please. That's my friend Larry Jones to the right. I've talked about him many times. Look how tall his legs are's my friend. Well, go back to the picture, please. That's my friend,

Larry Jones to the right. I've talked about it many times. Look how tall his legs are. Look at that guy, Larry. On the left? To my right. Yeah. He's to the left of me in the photograph, or we're looking at it this way. Okay. Yeah. But to my physical right. Oh, we got them long. Look at his legs. His legs go all the way up to my tits and he's only like six inches taller than me But his legs were way taller. He had like extra foot long legs and then the dude next to him I forget his name the guy with the green belt, but the guy with the red belt. That's my friend Tom He's the one who sent me the photo Tom or dog and he's got with the mustache and next to him That's Sid Lee and Sid Lee and me and then junk sick. I've talked about him many times It's the guy that I've got my left arm on.

He's the guy that was in med school while he was competing. So this guy was a national champion while he was going through med school. Gang, baby. Crazy. Most disciplined person I ever met in my life. Really? Couldn't believe. To this day, I think about him if I ever think that I work hard.

That motherfucker was always tired and won the national championship. Wow. Always tired. Going to med school. Always tired. Didn't give a fuck. Yeah. Because it worked.

He would be practicing, doing his studies, and then he would put all of his books in a backpack and run up and down the stairs. And did you show that other photo? and run up and down the stairs. And did you show that other photo? And so this was like when I was, I think this is 86, so I was 19. And what would y'all do? What kind of lunch would y'all eat?

So that is me waiting to compete, I think, probably. This one's Subway was big too, I bet, huh? We all have a lot of Subway subs? I don't know if Subway was big back then. I don't think it existed. Damn. Jared didn't really sink Subway subs? I don't know if Subway was big back then. I don't think it existed. Damn. Jared didn't really sink Subway. You would think that that scandal would have sunk Subway. I wonder if it took a hit off their business.

Your spokesman was out there fucking kids. Yeah, that's a, I don't know. I don't know if that will sink a business. I guess it depends on what it is. Yeah, it depends on the business. We just went to Jimmy John's summer camp the other day. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

He does a summer camp for his friends and family. I met Jimmy John. He's friends with Kid Rock. Yeah, he's friends with Bob. Have you met him? With Bob. Yeah, you call him Kid Rock Bob? Yeah.

Yeah, he has a dinner table at his house now. His new house got built or whatever. Yeah. It's like- The White House. It's insane, bro. It it's a replica it is a white house yeah i talked about it he took me for a tour it's the wildest shit ever bro yeah how about that gold elevator in the middle of the house there's a gold bathroom all gold yes all gold the gold shower it's a golden shower he goes get it and i was like i get it like nobody but nobody fucking has that kind of money and has that kind of sensibility to do that only kid rock would

make that house it's a 27 000 square foot house with two bedrooms yeah that's crazy man it's literally does he have any photos of it online it's the craziest fucking house i've ever seen in my life i have a good he he has a dining table upstairs, and it's beautiful. And it's like... It spins on a big circle so you can pass by the view. Like, and you go in circles so you keep passing by the view. You know? It's really...

It's nice. It's cool. Oh, so the actual floor spins. So it's like one of those restaurants at the top of a building. Remember they used to have those? Those things that never panned out? They never panned out. Nobody wanted to just spin around while they're eating dinner.

You'd get sick. Yeah, you'd go to the bathroom, you'd come back, you don't even know who the fuck you are anymore. Where's my fucking table? I can't find my family. Every kid's just missing up there. Yeah, that was like one of those novelties that didn't really work out. People were really into that for a while, though.

Yeah, people were, man. They had one in New Orleans for a while. But yeah, Bob's got it nice. It's really set up over there. But yeah, we went to Jimmy John's summer camp. That was fun. Got some fishing. Yeah.

And caught some different types of fish. Got to go fishing with Emeril, you know, the chef Emeril. Oh, really? He's from boston yeah that guy emerald what is his last name he used to have a tv show for a while legasi yeah yeah he had a tv show for a while remember oh yeah he'd say bam all the time that was his thing bam yeah there's a catchphrase we caught a fish with him i put it up on yg uh while we caught i caught we went out there caught some fish but that was really fun who up on my IG While we caught We went out there Caught some fish

But that was really fun Who was the first celebrity chef? Was it Julia Child? Probably somebody in the Bible, huh? Right, but like Oh, more futuristic? In terms of like Television

Like she was like Probably the first Remember her? Oh, she's lovely Lovely souffle Remember? Remember Julia Child? Nuh-uh, man She was a lovely, lovely souffle. Remember? Remember Julia Child? Nuh-uh, man.

She was a lady cooking on television. She comes up when I type in who, first celebrity chef. I remember Tracy Ullman. Remember her? She was a comedian. Yeah. Wasn't a chef. But it was like the first woman that I heard on TV.

What about I Love Lucy? Oh, no, I didn't know her. I mean, a chef. But it was like the first woman that I heard on TV. What about I Love Lucy? Oh, no, I didn't know her. I mean, I've seen clips. She was hot, I thought, huh? You like Tracy Ullman or I Love Lucy? I Love Lucy. Yeah, back in the day. She was hot and funny.

Yeah. So was Mary Tyler Moore? Remember her? I remember I heard about her. Yeah. When I was a kid, we used to watch the Mary Tyler Moore show. She worked in a newsroom. It was weird because there was a show, like she had a boss

that was Ed Asner was her boss. I forget what his name was on the show. Ed Asner. But then they did another show with him where it was a serious show. Okay. So it went from him being her boss on a sitcom to him playing the same guy without Mary Tyler Moore and it wasn't funny at all.

It was two different shows. It was a drama. Oh, that's crazy. It was like Lou something or another. What was his fucking name? Lou Grant. Lou Grant, yeah. But he played the same character?

Yeah. Oh, that's weird. Well, it wasn't just weird. It was like they completely flipped it on its head because it wasn't funny. Right. So in Mary Tyler Moore because it wasn't funny. Right. So in Mary Tyler Moore, it was a comedy. Yeah. Mary worked in the newsroom and Lou Grant was the boss and there was all these dilemmas.

Like, what do I do? You know? And then Lou Grant does a show, but it's serious. Yeah. It's like, what are you doing? And they didn't know. Yeah. It's like as if Archie Bunker left the family, all in the family, and all of a sudden he's a serious guy.

Right. Like without the family to joke around, without his fucking racist jokes. But he's still the same guy. He's still the same guy. Same character. Yeah, it'd be crazy. It's not funny anymore. Right.

Like if Archie Bunker were on In the Heat of the Night. Right. And you were like, he's just like, what? Instead of, what was his name? Oh, Carol O'Connor? Carol O'Connor Carol O'Connor Yeah, well that was the same guy though, right same guy. Yeah. Yeah, but a different like people didn't want that show though I loved Carol O'Connor. Yeah, but nobody wanted that he the night show get out of here Where's the fucking Archie Bunker? But by the time the 80s rolled around you couldn't do that character anymore. Oh the Archie Bunker character

Yeah, so that was so good 1970 show that was back in the day when Red Fox had Sanford and Son. You could have wild shit. You could say wild shit on TV still. Do you think that kind of stuff will come back, though? It'll come back on YouTube. That's kind of what Gillian Keeves are doing. Like Shane Gillis.

Those sketches are wild. They're amazing. Them guys are amazing, man. He's so funny, funny man his stand-up is so fucking funny yeah like when I see guys like him coming up it gives me a lot of hope a lot of hope because people still want to see that kind of comedy they still want to see wild comedy he's a great guy too oh great great fucking yeah shane's great to be around man i like being around him he really just he's fun people like him he's kind of like uh tall and kind of chubby you know so it's just a cool you don't see that very often getting jacked he's been working out

a lot is he really yeah yeah he's working out like crazy wow for what just for to get healthy again oh dang still drinks so much, though. Yeah, he's good at it. I've never seen anybody better. Yeah, he's such a, I don't know, he reminds me of, I guess, a character that I knew growing up or something. He doesn't seem like a real person. Yes. Have you seen the numbers that he puts down?

We do podcasts together. We have this thing, Protect Our Parks. We do it. It's Ari Shafir, Shane, and Mark Norman. And we get blitzkrieged. We just get super high and talk crazy shit. And Ari tried to compete beer for beer with Shane. And Shane put him on the mat.

Oh, Shane was still talking and coherent. Yeah. 16, 17 beers in, and Ari was throwing up in a... Shane will start a fucking family on a case of beer, dude. He's just got that in him. I don't understand how he does it But we had a cooler and Ari's throwing up in the cooler He's lying down

He fell asleep on the floor of the podcast studio We left him here And I told Jeff, I'm like, you gotta check in on him every couple minutes Just to make sure he's not dead Yeah He usually swallows his own tongue or something Oh, that'd be the worst, huh? Yeah, I wouldn't want him to die

Oh, no Not like that No, I wouldn't want him to die. Oh, no. Not like that. No, I wouldn't want him to die either, man. And I think that Shane is like, yeah, Shane's like, he could start a family. Oh, there you go. Look at him, blacked out, angry. Look at his face.

He's upset. And look at his pills next to him in that thing. Is that pills? What is that? I mean, I shouldn't have said that. We don't know it's pills, but it's. What is that thing? It's like a hangover medication I shouldn't have said that. We don't know it's pills, but it's... What is that thing? It's like a hangover medication type thing. You put it in water, effervescent.

Oh, he came prepared, huh? Yeah, yeah. They were already drinking it. He's cheating, dude. Have USADA check him, bro. That was fucking cheating. Look at this stack of empties next to Shane. Wow.

I mean, how does he do that and not piss? I mean, he's a big, big guy on top of that. What if you don't piss? What happens to you? You die. Wow. Yeah, one of Dom Irera's buddies- There's so many fucking ways to die, man.

One of Dom Irera's buddies held his piss too much and wound up having to get a catheter. He, like, ruptured his bladder. He did something really fucked up. Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night, you gotta pee, right? You're a regular guy, you got to pee, right? Yeah. And you just say, you know what, this isn't enough pee inside of me, I'm going to go back to sleep. I'm going to ride the bag a little.

I just get up. Every time? Every time. Oh, man. I don't think you should do that all the time. Why? Sometimes you got to fucking ride that bag, homie. No.

Then you won't sleep good. I need sleep. It takes me 30 seconds to piss. I get up, I piss, go right back to sleep. Can you go right back to sleep? Like a brick. Do you sleep on your back? No.

If I do, my wife elbows me. Oh, yeah? Because I snore. Oh, yeah. If I sleep on my back, I'm making some noise. I got to sleep on my side. Yeah, I wish there was more ways to sleep. You to sleep you know how would you like to do it i don't know just different i just wish you could do it in different forms like you could do it sitting up you could do it just leaning against

something you could do it upside down i think because then you would be able to like kind of do more things with your body to get the blood in different parts you know imagine if you didn't have to sleep if there was a pill that they could give you that would eliminate your need for sleep you would have eight whole more hours to do whatever you want during the day like imagine if you didn't get tired like that i don't want that you don't want that no because what i'm gonna end up doing is i'm gonna end up doing there's no way if i had eight more hours i wouldn't cheat on my wife i don't have a wife but if you gave me eight more hours, I wouldn't cheat on my wife. I don't have a wife, but if you gave me eight more hours in a day,

dude, it would be fucking, it's so hard for a guy to get through 16 without fucking like doing an eight ball or fucking running around on his lady. Shooting at cops. You give him eight more hours. Eight more hours. You're going to get in a shootout. Bro,

half the dudes are going to check out. We can't handle it. It's already too hard, man. Yeah, armed robbery. You got to do something. Dude, isn't it weird how guys, like if you look at some of these guys, like Elon Musk, Facebook, what's his name, Mark. Zuckerberg.

Zuckerberg. Yeah. And then the other guy, they look like aliens, bro. Their body is white. They're really- Because they work all day. Yeah, and then the other guy, they look like aliens, bro. Their body is white. They're really. Because they work all day. Right. If you look at Elon when he was out on that yacht, those photos he took of him,

that motherfucker looks like he hasn't seen the sunlight in years. Yeah. Years. Like his body has not been exposed to sun. You can't fake that. That whiteness, that's a wild whiteness. Well, that's what I'm saying. It's almost an extraterrestrial whiteness.

It's the whiteness you see when you see an alien. It's paper. That's what I'm telling you is that these guys are, you know, I believe that autism is like kind of the next. There's kind of a space where there is like man and machine and that's a lot of autism a lot of autism you see these guys who will do the calculations and they'll be able to you know figure things out they're almost a little bit more of a computer than a person or they're somewhere in the middle kind of like they're more advanced than us yeah they're eliminating the emotions that hold people back. That's what they're doing. Yeah. And so when you get that and you get some of these guys that are like that, I think that's kind of the next evolution.

And that's closer really to aliens, man. Yeah. When you see aliens, they're not like, oh, fuck, man. Right. Been a long day. Scratching their balls. Yeah. That's an interesting thing that I thought of too.

They're doing business, man. Is that maybe that's like the next level of evolution. Is that like there's more of a separation between emotional anxiety and all the things. And instead concentrating on calculations and numbers and accomplishments. I mean just think about all the different things that Elon does simultaneously. That's what's wild. That doesn't seem like a normal human being would have the capacity to develop rockets while he's developing electric cars, while he's developing Neuralink, which is like a human-computer-brain interface, while he's developing the Boring Company where he's trying to solve traffic problems.

While he's in the Mediterranean? Yeah, with his shirt off, looking like a sheet. Risking it all. Going crazy. Out there for one minute in the sun at that level. You see there's a story that came out that said that he's not friends with the guy from Google anymore because he had an affair with his wife. Oh, that's crazy.

And then he just tweeted. He goes, this fucking totally bullshit. He goes, I am friends with the guy. I was just hanging out with him last night and he's like, I've only seen his wife with other people around like two or three times ever. Oh, it's all fiction? Yeah. He goes, I haven't seen her in years.

Oh, that's fiction. He tweeted about it. He's like, this is just a lie. They just make up lies. People just make up shit about him. Imagine if he just made shit up about you and then printed it in the fucking, what was it in? Was it in the Wall Street Journal? But isn't that, I mean, now it's like there's bots making stories.

So soon I feel like there's going to be a story for everything that's going to be out there and people are just going to be, it's like there's no, is there even any real, you know, what recourse do you even have these days? Well, he could sue. He could definitely sue. A story like that is defamatory. But all they have to do is say that they have a source. But, I mean, you've got to check with him, I think, before you print something like that.

But the thing is, like, the concern is that what those stories do like i think he made some sort of reference to short sellers okay so like someone who's like shorting the stock yeah so you could you could say you could make an argument that uh if the stock crashes that uh you could make a lot of money on that and if you made a story that made elon look like he's out of control he's losing his mind people go oh, I'm going to get rid of my stock because the CEO was out of his fucking mind. And then you're shorting the stock. And so then the stock crashes. And then the people that shorted the stock, why not making a shitload of money? Like you could make an argument that someone would write, I'm not saying they did, but someone would write a defamatory

story just so that they could profit. Right. You could do that today. Oh, if I'm not saying they did, but someone would write a defamatory story just so that they could profit. Right. You could do that today. Oh, if I'm a smart, if I'm running a business and I have an access to somebody who has like a PR arm, I would do that kind of stuff. I feel like a lot of stuff is all kind of sneakily tied in, you know, you don't really realize it. Oh yeah, for sure. That was one of the things that came out about Bill Gates that Bill Gates had heavily invested in some fund and this fund had been attacking Elon because he has a short position on Tesla stock because like Elon had a conversation with Bill Gates it was a public thing because Bill Gates asked him to invest in one of his one of his philanthropic adventures.

And Elon Musk asked him, do you still have a short position on Tesla? Okay. And it's like Tesla, he's shorted like a billion dollars. Oh, damn. Yeah, it's like a big position. And he said, yeah, I do. But what does that have to do with anything?

He's like, fuck off. I'm not interested, bro. Damn. You're betting on me to lose. Get out here pal did you want him to buy twitter i wish you would buy it and shut it down he might still buy it this whole thing that's going on right now this is like in my opinion this is a way for us to find out exactly how many bots are on twitter and this is the best way because if he just bought, then he would have to find out. He'd have to do some sort of internal examination. But they claim that Twitter only has 5% bots. He thinks it's far more than 5%. And he thinks that the way they determined 5%

is not adequate. I forget exactly what they did. It was something like they took a random 100 accounts. And out of that 100 accounts, 5 of them were bullshit. So they figured, well, that's probably 5%. And he's like, that's not how you do it. You need a really comprehensive way of examining all of the different people that may or may not be bots. But the thing

is, are they bots or are they on a troll farm? If it's in a troll farm, how do you even know if they're bots? How do you know if they're being paid to say what they're saying a lot of them are trying to fuck usually a lot of the chick ones you know or it's like sex look at this or something you know and it's sex right but they're not really trying to fuck they're trying to fuck you out of your money yeah they're trying to get your dumb ass to give them a credit card yeah like i'm having a hard time my transmission broke and you're like oh baby i could take care of that that's crazy that ain't nothing transmission i don't have about 900 bucks i got

you mail him a wrench yeah exactly uh what about um but do you think um i wish he what if he bought it and then shut it down why would he do that because then it's dead yeah but then he loses 44 billion dollars you're a terrible businessman but we don't have to fucking deal with twitter shut it down. Why would he do that? Because then it's dead. Yeah, but then he loses $44 billion. You're a terrible businessman. But we don't have to fucking deal with Twitter anymore. What about him? He's out $44 billion. You know how hard it is to make $44 billion? You just give it away to kill Twitter

and then what would someone do? He saved the world though. They would just make Twatter and then everybody would hop on board with Twatter because Twitter's not around anymore. Yeah, same people would run it. Listen they kill Twitter those same social justice warrior executives They'll get some fucking venture capitalists to fund some new thing and they'll have some you know comprehensive inclusive You know new kind of social media platform

Where everybody's special? Yeah, I guess I'm wondering to should be shut down but i guess yes somebody would just make a new one did you see that reddit banned the use of the word groomer i looked into that a little bit that's that is what they were saying but that's not quite what happened from what i was reading okay what did what did you read that the the screenshot that that i've read on a few pages was from a subreddit and the subreddit claimed that admins told them they couldn't do that stuff anymore, and they had to police their subreddit harder using those terms groomer. Is there a lot of people grooming out there? Is that kind of stuff growing, you think?

Well, the problem is people are using it as an anti-LBGTQ term. They're talking about groomers as is someone trying to groom young kids and either make them gay or trans. The problem with eliminating the term groomer is what about some grown man who's grooming young girls and trying to fuck them? Because that's real. Like that's a real thing. that's real like that's a real thing i mean there there have been many young girls that have fallen victim to older men who come along and find some 14 year old girl and get close to her and then wind up grooming her they gotta stop it it's but it's a thing like grooming is a thing and i understand that like it makes people uncomfortable that people connect it to lbgtq people and you know a lot of it is like tiktok because people are seeing these people on tiktok with blue hair screaming all your children are

going to be trans and they freak out and they're like we got to stop these groomers they're grooming our kids it's like but how many fucking of them are there like and how much of this is just magnified by social media right and how much of it is magnified by groups like TikTok, which are, oh my God, I read TikTok's terms of service. I went down a TikTok rabbit hole yesterday. Yeah, it's good. I stayed home, smoked a little weed, and I started reading up on TikTok. Yeah. Oh my God.

I'm going to read you this because this is so crazy. Is it good or bad? Bad. So what are you saying? It's a bad place to be? this because this is so crazy is it good or bad bad it's so what are you saying it's a bad place to be listen this this is uh from tiktok's privacy policy all right it said uh we collect certain information about the device you use to access the platform such as your ip address um user region this this is really crazy. User agent, mobile carrier, time zone settings,

identifiers for advertising purpose, model of your device, the device system, network type, device IDs, your screen resolution and operating system, app and file names and types. So all your apps and all your file names, all the things you have filed away on your phone, they have access to that. File names and types. So all your apps and all your file names, all the things you have filed away on your phone,

they have access to that. File names and types. Keystroke patterns or rhythms. So they're monitoring your keystrokes, which means they know every fucking thing you type. Battery state, audio settings, and connected audio devices, where you log in from multiple devices. devices where you log in from multiple devices. We will be able to use your profile information to identify your activity across devices. We may also associate you with information collected from devices other than those you

use to log into the platform, meaning they can use other computers that you're not even using to log into TikTok. They can suck the data off that. That's what you're agreeing to when you download and start using TikTok. That's wild. It's insane. My question would be, do you think they did that? They created TikTok just on purpose to have all that?

A hundred percent. Wow. I think they saw that people are addicted to social media and they came up with the most addictive version of social media, which is TikTok. It's the most addictive by far. It's the best for sucking people in. My kids are fucking hook, line, sinkered on that

shit. And I know a lot of other people are hook, line, sinkered to grown people. It's good. It's good. And it starts playing things immediately. The moment you turn it on, it's like playing you a new thing. You're like, and you're just sucked into it and all the while it's monitoring your keystrokes your audio settings but by audio settings that means it has access to your microphone that means it's listening to you right just tell me how it ends man it ends with china

having all of your data and if they develop if they get all the data then currency then what well you're fucked or because if they look what's going on the data then currency then what well you're fucked or because if they look what's going on in china i don't know if you've seen this but they they pulled tanks in front of banks to stop people from fucking rioting because they just took all their money did you see all that yeah did you see that shit oh my god they have uh shut down people's accounts and they're doing a social credit score system in China and they have digital currency. Video of tanks shows Chinese military exercise, not bank barricade.

Yeah, according to China and the AP. But if you see what's going on over there with the digital currency, what they have is the ability to tell you you can't buy gas. Like, hey, Theo, we don't like the way you're living your life, so you're not going to be able to buy a plane ticket. China's a dump, man. I mean, there's cool people and I like some of the food, but I think it just, I don't know. I don't like the way they're doing it all. Any military exercise they're doing when they're putting tanks in front of a bank is Intimidation at the very least do you think the people there even know what freedom is anymore?

You think they're just so brainwashed they've never had freedom like we have so no I mean they weren't even capitalist for a long time right it was a communist country And then they realized you know what in order to compete We got to loosen this up a little bit and let some people get greedy make a shitload of money And that's what they did they kind of have a hybrid of capitalism and communism You know because in the old days it was like the government would tell you what you do Okay, the government would tell you what you get paid all right You just did what you had to do you did what you were told right?

But what they do now is they allow people to get extraordinarily wealthy. So some people, they develop industries, they develop businesses, and they work in conjunction with the government. Like every business that exists in China, say it's a tech business, you are an arm of the government. You're not independent from the government. Like that was the concern with Huawei.

Like when they were trying to, when they banned Huawei phones from being distributed in America. Do you know about all that? I don't think so. It's not the gas station. No, that's Huawei, right? What is it?

You're talking about flip phones? It's an H, no, they have super complex smartphones. Like Huawei, it starts with an H. Huawei had some amazing phones. Oh, Huawei. It starts with an H. Huawei had some amazing phones. Oh, Huawei. Huawei. Okay. With an H. Okay. And they had amazing phones that they were using

like, they had like 100 megapixel digital cameras before anybody did. Really like high-end phones. But they also had network devices that were stealing data. Fancy. Yeah. network devices that were stealing data. Fancy. Yeah.

Well, they were using them as spy devices. Okay. You know, like all this shit that I was reading about TikTok? Well, they have a similar situation with their routers. So that's spying. So they're spying, basically. 100%. But what do they do once they have all this information?

What's the end goal to having it all? Oh, yeah. As the FBI found, Huawei equipment in Midwest could disrupt nuclear communications, CNN. And that is from yesterday. I'm going to send you this, Jamie. I'm going to send you some new thing. Hold on a second. Dang.

Because this is really crazy. This is some shit that they found out with FBI director Starts talking about I'll send you this Jamie. Oh, sorry the FBI director was talking about how bad there the Chinese spying is on Americans and he said it's bigger than every other country combined Why do they want to spy on us, though? Because what? Because we are what? Stealing intellectual property, stealing all your data,

stealing credit card numbers, stealing where you're going, tracking you, if you're criticizing the Chinese government, like, whatever the fuck you're in control. So say one day they could, like, one day, would it be possible, then, if they take all this information, that they could just like commandeer like say like a business's website, right? For sure.

Like Nike. For sure. Listen to this guy talk. Listen to this guy talk. Go full screen. Go full screen and then give me some volume. Biggest threat we face as a country from a counterintelligence perspective is from the People's Republic of China and especially the Chinese Communist Party. No country presents a broader, more severe threat to our ideas, our innovation, our economic security than China. And they are targeting our

innovation, our trade secrets, our intellectual property on a scale that's unprecedented in history. They have a bigger hacking program than that of every other major nation combined. They have stolen more of Americans' personal and corporate data than every nation combined. What is the FBI doing about that? So the FBI is keenly focused on the China counterintelligence threat. We are now moving at a pace where we're opening a new China counterintelligence investigation about every 12 hours. Jesus Christ.

Every 12 hours. So, like, say one day you could go to a website, right, to buy something, okay? Yeah. And China has the information of the website. It has your information. And they could wonder if they could, like, put their own website over it so you actually just buy it and they send it to you from China and they make the money and that company never even gets there. I'm sure they could do that.

But even worse. How about this? Maybe you develop something. You develop some new innovative technology, but you develop it using an internet that's connected with Huawei devices or some other device that Chinese government has infiltrated and put third party access to. So they infiltrate all of your secrets. And when you go to market, they've already created it. So they already have put people to work building the thing that you have worked so hard to develop. They put engineers on it and they do it. So all of our intellectual property, all of our creative pursuits in terms of innovation, they steal all that. Wow. And they just do, they build it over there do you know they have

apple stores in china that have nothing to do with apple everything's counterfeit oh dude one time i went to this starbucks one time in jamaica right somebody had we went in there and uh they somebody had just stolen a starbucks sign and put it up outside of this place so we go in and the guy's like, welcome to the Starbucks lounge. He's like, can I get you a smoothie? It was in Jamaica? Yeah, dude. So it was just, he just had a Starbucks sign. Yeah, it was like a smoothie shop, dude.

It was so ridiculous, bro. Well, other countries have like totally different rules in terms of what you can get away with and what you can't. And China's rules are wild. You know, they have versions of world cities that they've built replicas of in China. Like, they have a version of Paris. Have you seen it? Google Chinese version of Paris.

Because they have the kind of money they have in China and because they have, like, free reign to do whatever the fuck they want, they've literally built cities that they don't even use. Oh, I wonder if... What are you wondering? I'm trying to think what I'm wondering. Look at this. The Eiffel Tower left is one of Paris' most iconic landmarks. The second largest replica in the world can be found in...

Boy, say that word Chang Chang Tian do Chang Chang Chang Chang Chang after the Paris Las Vegas Hotel in Nevada look at that one on the right that is a fake Eiffel Tower it looks exactly like it but it's in China but that's just like us just but look they build the buildings yeah do you have to sign in for this shit Everything like email, but look they made all the different buildings there. That's what's wild like they've recreated everything They recreated look at that. I mean that is fucking wild. They recreate the building on the corner They were created all this shit. Look at that. It's like in China. Oh, yeah, that's the

They recreated all this shit. Look at that. It's in China. Oh, yeah. That's the replica. It's a huge replica of Paris. Like, they've literally reproduced Paris. The one thing that's wild about China, you ride on the trains, and sometimes they have these buildings, and they're just, they built them, but there's no windows.

They're just, like, completely abandoned. But there are huge high-rises just everywhere. There's nothing in them. Yeah, exactly. It's the same thing. That's what we're talking about Like they they they have the ability to do stuff like that that we just don't have What did they do if somebody dies over there they bury him or they don't care? I don't know I mean they can definitely make you disappear over there. Do you know that bodies exhibit?

That was another thing that I went down to rabbit hole yesterday with oh the one that went around America Didn't go around America. They're simultaneously going around the whole world. Yeah, I'm over the place body world or whatever I got the body is Dissect the body is a process where they infuse the body with plastic. Yeah, do you know where they get those bodies from? Chinese Unclaimed bodies which include political prisoners. I went three times, dude. I went a couple of times too. It was unbelievable. You see the one with the baby in it? Yeah. There's baby ones. There's a bunch of them, but they're in all sorts of different countries

simultaneously. They're going on right now all over the world. There's one that's permanently at the Luxor in Vegas. Wow. They have that one there. They have them all over the world. There's one that's permanently at the Luxor in Vegas. Wow. They have that one there. They have them all over the world. And they're bodies of prisoners. Yeah. Damn. I mean, it could be like, there's one where the guy's playing tennis.

Like, that could be some guy who's like a fucking tennis player banging some dude's wife. And he's like, oh, you think you're gonna fuck my wife? And they just turn this dude into like a plastic statue holding a tennis racket with his dick hanging out

Yeah, and they even cut their dick down the middle They do things where if you found that in a warehouse you would say that guy's a serial killer But you know it's at the Luxor you like oh, I guess everything's cool pretty normal You have to pay you have to pay to get in here, so it must be normal We're getting acclimated to weird stuff being more normal That's the weirdest that was one of the weirdest things if you find out that these people most likely were Executed yeah, and some of them they found bullet holes in oh damn dude, which makes sense right? I mean if you're gonna get a body from a

Chinese unclaimed bodies which include prisoners like a raw dress for less prisoners But it's fucking bodies you're rolling there. Yeah, they've also like they're all smalls They connected one of the guys who sells the bodies to this Russian group That was that was using homeless people and prisoners and and then they sell them the bodies, and they take these bodies, and they dump them into some vat. See if they can find a thing on the process of plastinization. Yeah, plastinization, yeah. We saw a dude in Albuquerque with a sword, man, late at night. Give me a hit down, dude.

Am I struggling that bad today? No, no, you're not struggling at all. Is that a new one? That nicotine really got me. Is that a new one, Jamie? You opening up a new one? No, it's the same. But it has the label on it. That's how strong this shit is. That team really got me a new one Jamie you open up a new one But it has the label on it the other time. That's how strong it is it puts the label back on it Yeah, it seals reseal so I can already feel it all right

It was so bad, it's so bad when it's no, I'm not joking, bro It's so bad when it's not joking, bro I'm not joking, dude It's so sharp. Oh, right. It's so sharp. Yes. I feel like Jamie you want some of this? Nope. Sure. Oh, what was last time you had some feel great? Come on a little give me a little head on need it Come on, a little bit for me. I can fake it. It'll help you lift weights, Jamie. I already did today.

I feel like a sword just came on me. A sword. It feels insane. Oh my God. Here, put the lid on that, please. You're going to take another one? Oh my God, you're an animal. I like to ride the fucking dark on me Does it get better the second time around it gets a little more manageable

Oh my god, I Feel like they're moving furniture in my fucking DNA, baby. Yeah, that is not good. Dude, yeah, you gotta have Bobby Kennedy on, man. He's an interesting dude. How did you meet him? I met him just through like this. I met him through just some other friends.

Yeah? And he just is just an interesting guy. He's just so smart. just has and he works with the environment you know so his whole life has been about taking care of the environment yeah he was an environmental you're crying are you emotional or just like freaking out because of the smelling salts i mean i can get emotional sometimes but i think this is and that thing made my heart slower it's so rough. It makes me never want to play golf, too, smoking that cigar.

So when you had him on, would you associate golf with cigars? Yeah. The cigar bothered you, too? Rich people, you know, fucking A. You love Clemson? Making deals. You go to Clemson or what? Clemson.

Roll Tide. Yeah, but he loves, you know, well well he started with the environment outside of our bodies and then so i think whenever everything happened with covid he was thinking about the environment inside of our bodies he's long been uh you know somebody that speaks out about uh what's it called inoculations yeah he was an environmental lawyer right dude i got a buddy addicted to inoculations fucking fucking Duran Coat. He broke into like a CVS and did like 40 fucking shots, dude. What? Yeah, bro.

What? What did he do? Hell yeah. He got like a- He got a bunch of different vaccines? Oh, yeah, bro. This dude. Boy, they should study him. How's he doing?

Maybe that's the key. You got to get a lot. I think he's doing fine. I've seen him at some meetings. What, inoculation meetings? Inoculations Anonymous? Hey, bro. He goes to IA.

You got some fucking... You got some MMR or what? I'm trying to mix that Johnson and Johnson up with that Moderna. Get that rush. I'm trying to get just below a stroke. I just want that blood to flow smooth. But Bobby's interesting.

He just got that voice surgery. He did? Yes. When did he get that? I think about a month ago. I don't know if it's... I'm not sure. I just texted with him, so I don't know.

But I hope it gets better. He's just a really neat guy. So what was wrong with his voice? Because I've heard that it was something he actually got was an injury from a vaccine. Oh really? Yeah, because you can find that. Oh, that would make so much sense. Yeah, because he's so.

What took him down that road. Does it say it here? Spasmatic dysphonia, that's it. It causes his voice to quaver, what's quaver? Is that like quiver? And make speech difficult, it's a form of involuntary movement disorder called dystonia that affects only the larynx. That larynx, baby.

How did he get that, though? Because I had read that he got that from a vaccine. Like, there was a, you know, he got vaccinated for something, and then that hit his vocal cords. Oh, I don't know. I can't, I mean, he might have told me. I don't remember. You remember stuff really well. Sometimes. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, he might have told me. I don't remember. You remember stuff really well. Sometimes.

Yeah. Yeah, I remember most stuff really well. But that's insane, dude. Yeah. You know that that's really fucking weird. What's weird? My memory? It's not weird.

I shouldn't say weird isn't the word. But it's really, people don't have that. How so? They don't, man. I've met a lot of people that aren't able to remember that kind of stuff like you you got that but that's what I do I mean and you're doing this all the time I know but you have a really good you also have a great knack for it well this I have a knack for remembering things that are interesting to me yeah yeah I Yeah. I can remember when I do UFC stuff, I can remember fights from 20 years ago.

Wow. I can remember details of how it went down and who fought who and how and what happened. Yeah. That's exciting. Yeah. I wonder if I had a greater memory what it would be like. I also take AlphaBrain, though. That definitely helps. Yeah, I wonder if I had a greater memory what it would be like. I also take AlphaBrain, though. That definitely helps.

Yeah? This version of AlphaBrain, the newest version, the black label, this stuff is legit. Maybe I'll get on some. Get on some. I'll get it for you. You will? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a big believer in that.

I'm a big believer in nootropics. There's been two studies that we did for the Boston Center of Memory. Boston Center of Memory or Boston Center of Memory or Boston Center of Memory? What was the name of the? Anyway, there was two double-blind placebo-controlled trials that they did where they showed increase in verbal memory, increase in your ability to form sentences, the ability to recall words.

Yeah. I want that. And peak alpha flow state. Oh, yeah. Andrew Huberman actually went over it, and I think they have the video of it on the Onnit Instagram site, but he went over all the ingredients that are in alpha brain and how they could benefit memory and cognitive function.

But it's been scientifically proven that that stuff benefits cognitive function and memory. And there's a bunch of different nootropics. I mean, obviously I'm connected to Onnit, but one of the things that I'm not connected to that we love is NeuroGum. We always have stacks of that NeuroGum. That stuff is great. I've never had that. It's very good.

I'm jacked on this stuff. Which stuff? All of this. The coffee? That NAD shot I got. You had an NAD shot. You had two shots of Juju Mufu's Ah. You've got two of these Black Rifle coffees that have 300 milligrams of caffeine each.

You've downed two of those. You're all hopped up on speed, son. I'm not doing that great. You look great. Do I really? Your hair looks fabulous. Thanks. You think I look all right, Jimmy?

It looks great. Thanks, man. You look great. I've been feeling better. I just, I think that getting that caffeine to my heart early fucking shook me

with that stick right there. Nicotine. Oh, the nicotine, huh? Yeah, dude. Tobacco? You only took like a little bit of that cigar. No, man.

Look how much is going. I'm balls deep in this bitch. Yeah, y'all can handle it, man. I think I just got, you know, I think I got, I'm just not, I think I just, I don't do it that good. Yeah. I'm sensitive to different materials, you know. Have you ever smoked cigarettes? Were you ever a cigarette smoker?

Yeah, I used to smoke them, man, but, and i didn't like it yeah i didn't like it man but i fucking smoked them bitches you know what i really like huh vape pens yeah you do they make these tobacco ones now you take a hit and you just have a head rush the mother of all head rushes oh bro one big shot and breathe it out and it's like, uh. Yeah. Kill Tony has a sponsor. They're called, I think it's called Escobars. Oh, yeah. That's the one that I like. Bro.

Them bitches are hardcore. They're fat like a cigar. And you take a hit of those. And you are just cruising. And they're all flavored. They mix flavors and things that have happened in your child. Like kiwi puberty or something. Or fucking. Kiwi puberty or something, you know? Or fucking...

Kiwi puberty. They'll have like cinnamon divorce. And you're like, what the fuck's going on here? Cinnamon divorce. You know? They're so strong. I think, didn't the government, didn't they like make a move to outlaw? Yeah, they just did.

But that's only, I think, for jewels. I think they're still letting some of these other ones go. Because, yeah, man, people can now smoke indoors. I think more people are smoking now than ever before. But they're doing it with the vapes. Yeah. But I wonder how bad the vapes are for you as opposed to cigarettes. When we find that, I mean, it's like I'm sure they didn't test it for 30 years.

It's going to be bad. Like a lot of people smoke cigarettes for 30 years before they get cancer. It's going to be bad. Like a lot of people smoke cigarettes for 30 years before they get cancer. Dude, I just feel like I wonder, do you think that the world is really getting like that everything's getting real shady and weird? Or do you think we're just getting older and people as they get older start to think that things are getting shady and weird? I think things are definitely escalating. They're definitely getting shadier and weirder the problem is they're also getting exposed so they have to be more aggressive in how they propagandize and how they pretend that things aren't shady and weird so then

you feel like you're being gaslit right you know what gaslighting is not exactly someone retains that something is different than it is like I would talk about something like me if if I started talking about Jamie and I said, Jamie's, you know, he's always been this really aggressive guy and he's just really mean to people, which is the opposite of Jamie.

And I'm gaslighting you. I'm telling you about Jamie. Okay. To put something in your head to make you think things are different than they are. Okay. I'm trying to make, maybe I'll make you think,

maybe think you, make you think that it's your problem, it's your fault that something went wrong. Okay. It's all gaslight you. Like, pump you up in a bunch of information where you really start believing it. Like, oh, wow. That's a gaslighting end.

And you're seeing that from news organizations. Like, you're seeing that from, like, CNN. Yeah, fear tactics. Fear tactics and also, like also pretending Joe Biden's fine. Right. Pretending, oh, he's just got a stutter. That's gaslighting. Right.

Did you ever see the press secretary go on Don Lemon and he was like, is Joe Biden too old to run for president? She's like, oh, how are we even asking this? I can't even keep up with him. He's amazing. That's gaslighting. Right. Like, that lady knows that guy's a dead man, a walking dead man. Yeah, it makes me feel sad they keep putting him out there.

It is sad. If that was your father or your grandfather or something like that, you saw him, like, stumbling over words on television and sitting on Jimmy Kimmel's couch and forgetting what he's talking about. Like, it's sad. Yeah. Oh, it reminds me of my father. And so it's like. Right, because your talking about. Like, it's sad. Yeah. It reminds me of my father. And so it's like.

Right, because your dad was real old, right? Yeah. So, like, I mean, it's funny because it's like it reminds me in weird ways, you know. But it would be, it would hurt my feelings if they did that to my dad, you know, if they pretended like he was well and he was struggling, you know, and because of his age, not because of something he had done to himself. Meanwhile, Fauci is two years older than him. And I was listening to Fauci in an interview today, and he was sharp as a tack.

Sharp as a tack. I mean, whatever that guy's doing, you know, other than vaccines, whatever stuff he's getting into his body, I mean, he must have the best nootropics. He must be on the ball. Do you think that there's better chemicals out there that people have access to that we don't know about? I think I'd probably have access to them. You'd have access to them. Yeah.

Do you? No. No. Not that I'm aware of. I mean, there's some strategies that you can use that can mitigate the aging process. And I've talked to a lot of those scientists, guys like David Sinclair from Harvard who's at the cutting edge of this stuff. So there is some stuff. And there's also this study out of Israel where they used hyperbaric chambers and they put people on a routine of 60, 90-minute sessions over a course of 90 days, and they found that the people that did that, it lengthened their telomeres to the point of it would be like a difference of 20 years of aging.

So they went back and decreased their biological age by 20 years in accordance with what their telomere length was. So there's certain things that people can do that definitely have a very positive impact on the way the body functions and behaves. But to see a guy who's 81 years old like Fauci is talking so smoothly and so articulately and asking questions. He was on The Hill, that show Rising on The Hill.

And they were interviewing him. It was really interesting. It was like, he's very sharp. We had a dude try to fast himself out of being gay, I remember one time. How many days? I think he did almost 40 days or 20-something days. Isn't that crazy?

How much weight did he lose? Oh, he was ribs and dick by the end of it, you know? And still. I'm just thinking ribs with a big old dick. I remember. He told me he goes. I'm thinking a skeleton with a big old rubbery dick. He told me he goes, it broke my heart because the first dude I saw with a diet coke, I wanted to fucking blow him.

And I was like, oh, man, what a letdown. I saw a video today of a Rottweiler throwing up a woman's dildo. And like in full. How do you watch all this? They brought the Rottweiler throwing up a woman's dildo. Mm-hmm. And like in full. How do you watch all this? They brought the Rottweiler to the vet. Fucking Instagram. They brought the Rottweiler to the vet and the vet's like, and the Rottweiler's like, ah, ah, ah.

And it comes out this giant hot pink dildo comes tumbling out of this Rottweiler's mouth. And this poor lady has to sit there and go, yeah, that was in my ass. Oh. Somebody had to go get it. That's crazy. The dog smelled pussy on it. It was like, I'll just swallow this. Fuck, it seems like food.

Dogs, yeah, I think, what kind of animal? Yeah, that's the dog. Go full screen. There's an ad that's on the second. Okay. That's the dog. Go full screen. There's an ad that's on the second. Okay.

We are 12 seconds away from watching this Rottweiler throw up a giant dildo. It's one of those giant dildos that has the asshole tickler, too, built in. Ooh, that party boy. Or the clit tickler. Here he goes. Watch him. Here it is. Just walk him away, we're good.

Did good. Let's get out of here. Get the van, Ronnie. It's a fucking 14-inch dildo. Get the van. Damn, bro. Keep the car running. That is a, uh.

Look at the size of that thing. See, it's either a clit or a butthole. It looks like a butthole tickler to me. Yeah, it could be. That's a... What are those things called that they bury stuff at the schoolyard and the kids all put something in? Time capsule. Time capsule.

That's that frickin'... That's that Alabama time capsule right there, dude's that alabama time capsule right there dude it looked like it had a macaroni in it do you think once they come up with a fuck robot will women want them more who will want them first would it be men fucking the fuck robot or women getting fucked by the fuck robot i think it'll be men because women i think still will want somebody to be there more because they have a more of a attachment i think to somebody being there but i think even that's starting to dissipate some but i think um but women have more sex toys than men don't you think in terms like vibrators like a vibrate a vibrator seems to me that it's like more common than like

uh like a pocket pussy or a fucking fleshlight or something like that. Yeah, that's true. That's true, man. Damn, that stuff got me fucking shook up. Which stuff? This stuff? I don't know. Everything?

But if you're somebody that is alive or whatever and you- One of it? Huh? Don't do it, man. You can't help yourself, huh? No, I want more. It's weird. Why do you want it huh uh don't do it man you can't help yourself huh no i want more it's weird why do you want more than it makes you do an eight ball of that shit son you know what i'm saying i'll hit the strip club with that shit imagine have a girl sitting on your lap like hey honey take a take a hit of this what the fuck is wrong with you theo some bouncer beats your ass

yeah what are you doing with my girls? Yeah. Oh, that was the scariest, dude. If he was ever in cocaine in a night, in like a strip club, that stuff's scary. Cocaine is? Yes, cocaine is real scary, but especially everybody dying from it now, but. Or the fentanyl. Oh, yeah.

Fentanyl's scary. Even, so yeah, it's like we can't even make good cocaine anymore. It's like. Well, we can, but we got to make it legal. That's really what's up. Do you know that it's the number one killer of people 18 to 49? Wow. Yeah.

Fentanyl? Fentanyl. That's unreal. Yeah, it's unreal. And most of the time people are getting it, they don't think they're getting fentanyl. They want to get ecstasy or they want to get, you know, whatever, whatever they're trying to get, coke. And they're getting it laced well i had six friends during the pandemic that passed away um not best friends but you know fentanyl

friends from overdosing jesus because i was worried about whenever they started that i was like well if they close all these like recovery meetings and everything closed you know and it went to zoom but it's not the same as like human connection. So, you know, you saw a lot of people get disconnected, man. Are you still going to meetings? It's really scary. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going back right now.

I'd taken, I'd kind of fallen off my, like that path for a while. And then, you know, I did that ayahuasca and that was really interesting because it like brought up like a lot of like feelings and stuff. But you're kind of just going into old feelings. Yeah? Yeah. Is that what it did for you? Yeah, it brought up like, and memories and feelings of things that had happened

when I was younger, things I'd never even known about, you know, kind of interesting. Memories that you didn't know you had? Feelings attached to memories that I didn't know had affected me. Really? Yeah.

Like how so? Like I remember when I was, or when I was like, I guess 10 or something, my brother moved away and my mom let him go live with my grandparents, right? He wanted to go. And I guess it like really made me sad, right? And I didn't know, you know, I know I love my brother and stuff like that, but I didn't know that I'd felt really, and that came up out of nowhere. Like, I had no idea.

So that memory and feeling with it came up like, you know, just like a new, just like a bubble coming up out of soup, you know? Oh, so like you had suppressed that memory and you didn't realize you suppressed it. And then the ayahuasca brought it up and said, hey, this is a source of your sadness. Yeah. And it gets it kind of out of you so you're able to kind of process it so you know uh i mean i was in a you know i did it right off the 101 you know and um you mean on the side of the 101 not on the side it was indoors you know it was like a garage kind of adjacent kind of but it was nice in there yeah but we had a had a big group of folks and how many people maybe 16. did anybody freak out nope really i've done dmt before with people that

freaked out really was it scary one of my buddies went nuts he took his shirt off was running around screaming he was fighting it wow yeah he threw up in the sink and was screaming and fighting it my buddy scott down we did mushrooms he thought he was the sink and was screaming and fighting it. My buddy Scott, we did mushrooms. He thought he was Korean and locked himself in a closet for three hours. Whoa. Why do you think he was Korean? I don't know. I wonder if he was in a past life.

We'd never even met a Korean, so I don't even know how he knew about it at the time. Perhaps school. I don't think they taught us. Maybe he just got really into Korean culture and didn't want to let you know. It blew my mind. When he even mentioned it. But that was just, you know, I think there's something in it. Yeah, I don't know.

Some of that stuff's real interesting. But anyway, so that kind of stuff, yeah. That ayahuasca journey was, you know, that's just wild, bro. Because all, you know, these things come up. And so anyway, like, um yeah some of that like just you just kind of process through that kind of stuff did it help you i think it did but then it made me like the thing i like about sober program i'm doing right now is just there's like a daily thing it's like you can go every couple you know it's like it's it's something

that you can do every day. And when you do it, you're going and you're talking to people about their struggles and being sober and their positive things and how long they've been sober. Like, what happens? Yeah, you listen to people. So that's a good thing. You go and you have to listen to people. So you're getting out of your own head. And everybody who does it has to talk?

No, they don't have to. But some of them can. And so you can too if you want. So you can share if something's in your head that's kind of bugging you, you get to share it. So then it's like it's not just in your head anymore now. It's out, and suddenly it doesn't affect you in your head anymore. So those are two good things. You're listening, and you're talking in front of other people.

It makes you feel pretty normal. And then you're seeing people front of other people, makes you feel pretty normal. And then you have like a group, you know, you're seeing people, you're interacting more. And when you're listening, you're listening to other people do the same stuff that you're doing in terms of like staying sober, how you stay sober, how you avoid temptation, that kind of shit. Yeah. And for me, I don't even know if I have a drug-alcohol issue.

I think my thing is more like an emotion, like feeling kind of issue, you know? And so like you try to kill the emotions with the drugs, the alcohol? Yeah, I think I just try to find my way away from them. And it could almost be anything. It could be, you know, if you left me in here, I'd probably continue to hit that over the day. You know, just every now and then.

You're ready to do it again. Just to check out, and I'm going to do it again in a minute. Push it over to her. But just something to kind of check out, you know? Right. Because, like, being alone with your feelings is troublesome. Yeah, it's just like, it's, because I start to use, I realize sometimes my alcohol was almost my feelings.

Like, I would use my feelings almost like alcohol. Like, if I had feelings, I would be like oh let's keep feeling them you know and I get stuck in this kind of like oh this is how I feel all the time you know and it's not good if you're not feeling great so so then you would just constantly dwell on feeling bad and it make you feel worse right and some of that I would even be trying to do better things to better myself I wasn't like laying at home. I was actively trying to make myself better. But I didn't realize that even then by like, this has to get better. This has to be better. I'm still kind of dwelling on it and not being in the moment. Right. So then like things like that, that helped me the most, I think, are just like working out, associating with others, you know. Working out's a big one, right? It's fucking crazy, Joe. It's crazy.

Because I didn't have any of this until I kind of, you know, I knew a lot of this was probably in me from growing up, but I didn't have a lot of it until I think I really started not, you know, fitness kind of left out of my regular daily routine. How did you get back into it? Like what was the step? Because like a lot of times when people get out of stuff, it's very hard to get back in. So, like, what made you get back in? Hmm. I found just a good place to go.

So you were thinking, I should probably get in shape. Right. And I started going. And after a few days in a row, I was like, oh, this is good. Then you get momentum, right? Right. You get, like, a routine. Yeah.

And then I started, like, getting in this, I got this blue cube ice bath thing. Yeah. That's what we have here. We have one of those right next door. Yeah. So I got in there and that started being like, all right, I don't like doing this, but I'm going to keep doing it. So do you set it on purpose for the 50s?

Because that one goes down to 37 degrees. Well, I'm trying to get down there. Okay. So you make sure it's warmer than that. Like you can adjust it. Yeah, yeah. But I'm just, you know, I'm just incrementally getting down. So like 57, 56 next week, 55.

Yeah, we'll be there in a while. 49. Hold on, bro. 45 degrees. Oh, Jesus. I ain't looking for all that dark magic. Come on, now you're fucked up. Mine at home goes to 33.

I've seen your videos. The Morosco, 33, 34. Yeah. Damn, that's too much. It's rough. It's like I gotta climb in under the ice to lift up big sheets of ice and climb under them. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're lying. No, no, no. There's a video of it. There's a video of me from my Instagram. That's too much. There's a giant chunk. I see you're finding it. There's a giant chunk of ice that I pick up.

It's big. It's like two feet long. That's too much, man. And I climb into the thing and relax. And, bitch, when I get in there, baby, it's just that little Christmas skillet, bro. That bitch's ice cold. Yeah. Just. This is a different That bitch is ice cold. Yeah. Just.

This is a different kind of numbing cold. It's freezing cold. But when you get out, you feel so good. And. I'm making my way. I'm making my way, Joe. Yeah. Look at that.

So here's me. Oh, hi, everybody. So I'm climbing right out of the sauna. See all the ice in there? So it's me coming. I worked out and then I went. And they usually do this. So look at this chunk of ice.

See that shit? I usually do this right after cardio. So this is like a cardio session. Wow, dude. Yeah. You look like one of those turkeys when they tie it up, and it gets all kind of lined out. What?

You know what I'm talking about? When they put that rope around that ham, and it's got all the fucking. Oh, my six pack? Yeah. Damn. It's called working out, yeah i didn't know what that end game could be like baby that's freaking wild dude congratulations man just keep working out and you'll get there too yeah so yeah but yeah everything is i'm feeling good man that thing is really good for Depression too. It's really good for anxiety to the

Epinephrine norepinephrine that you get from heavy cold exposure is really good for your mental state as well It's really good for people and it's also like a very a serious struggle because the three minutes you do I think that day I did three sometimes I do five but that's the most I do now I did 20 once yeah I don't know I don't recommend that I'm doing 11 right now a few days 11 at 50 something that's good yeah yeah that's probably plenty if you're doing 11 at 50 something degrees that's probably all the benefits that I'm getting doing three at 34 or whatever it is but it's um it's great for your mind like you get out you feel happier and more peaceful I feel fucking ready, but it's great for your mind. You get out, you feel happier and more peaceful. Oh, I feel fucking ready, dude.

It's such a struggle because it's a real life or death struggle. When you're in there and it's 34 degree water and you're in there for three to five minutes, that is a real life or death struggle because by the end of it, I'm shaking. My body's shaking under the water and I'm like, 30 more seconds, 30 more seconds. And now what I do is if I do hot, cold, hot, cold, I always finish on cold. I'm shaking like my body shaking under the water and I'm like 30 more seconds 30 more seconds and now

What I do is if I do hot cold hot cold. I always finish on cold because I let my body reheat itself naturally. Yeah Yeah, I like it man. Well what I like about it is I'm doing something I don't want to do every time I start doing things. I don't want to do I grow. Yes That is a that's a lesson that people need to hear and learn it's so important because everybody just wants to be comfortable everybody wants to sit in the car i don't want to go outside it's cold i don't want to do this it's hot like you've got to do things that you don't want to do because you show your body that your mind is the boss your mind is telling your body what to do and then you have control yeah dustin texted me one day porie texted

me he's like you can't wait for everything to be okay to live your life that's what he and it was you ever get a text from somebody says one of those moments where it fucking gets through to you you know and i was like fuck yeah man that's a very poignant and obviously coming from a guy like him who is i mean accomplished incredible things and done so in one of the most difficult things to accomplish incredible things. He's a fighter, a fucking cage fighter at the highest level of the game. Talking about a guy who knocked out Conor McGregor.

This guy's a banana. He's a beast. Oh, yeah. So his ability to get things done is exceptional. Yeah. He's an exceptional person. And so his understanding of that fact that you can't just wait for things to get perfect you gotta you just go out and do stuff i always tell people that about working out like fuck your motivation fuck your motivation you need

discipline because motivation's not there every day. I'm missing motivation most days. Wow, really? Yeah, sometimes I got motivation. Sometimes I'm like, fuck yeah, today I feel good. I can't wait to get to the gym. But a lot of days, like, gotta get to the gym. And then once I get going, then I feel great. And I feel great when it's over.

But it's that beginning part that's hard because your body wants to stay comfortable. Your body will trick you. You're like, man, today should take the day off, Theo. You don't feel good. Theo, what did you get? Like six hours sleep last night? That's not enough.

Oh, yeah. That thing, whatever that is, that guy lives on my shoulder. That little sleepy guy? That motherfucker. Dude, I might have a twin that never separated, baby, because that fella's chatty. That's a lot of people. A lot of people have that chatty guy telling you to take naps. Yeah.

Telling you to eat that piece of cake. Yeah. So that kind of stuff's been helping me naps. Yeah, tell me eat that piece of cake Yeah, that's been it. Yeah, so that kind of stuff's been helped me man, but I'm feeling yeah, I'm excited man I'll probably go back on tour later this year. Yeah, um, you've been writing a lot Yeah, I've been doing a lot and I just got off a tour I just I've been touring for like 16 years, you know, so like I just took You know, my last tour date was a month ago, but I think I'm gonna take like another month off Do you write like physically right? Do you sit in front of a computer? Do you sit in front of a notebook? Yep, i'll sit in front of a computer and i'll go through i'll listen to some old sets Put more stuff in. Oh, this was an add-on here that popped out of me

A lot of it pops out of me on stage though. Yeah, isn't that interesting when things do that? That's why it's so important to record. That's the magic, baby. Yeah. You're in that moment. You're in that weird moment where you got people laughing and you're in the groove. You're in that zen moment. Yeah. Isn't that best? I love that, man.

And that's what I miss. I think sometimes about the way the store a little bit, you know, or not miss about it, but it's like that's what was perfect. That was what was awesome about it. Yeah. It was just like such a, it was a fun group there. Yeah. It was a fun group there. And that was what was awesome about it yeah it was just like such a it was a fun group there yeah it's a fun group there and um and that was a vibe man but yeah i'll probably get back out a little bit later this year and uh and do some more dates and have you done any sets at the store yeah i've done some yeah yeah what's it like there i'm still like back in la probably four months out of the year oh yeah yeah do you have an apartment still have my same apartment oh that's nice

yeah so you can go back anytime you want it's your place it's not like you're staying in a hotel that's nice right

that's nice yeah I chose to do that that's been good it's a little sketchy there now isn't it yeah it's just

different I guess touch and go on those streets yeah it gets a little risque out there if you want to fucking bring your

you know want to bring your silverware even when you're doing it for a while. They're handing out concealed carry permits in L.A. Are they? Yeah. They give them to you now.

Did they always do that? Uh-uh. It was hard to get one before. Real hard to get one. It turned down a lot of people. You'd have a real threat. You'd own a jewelry store. Do you feel like we're headed to that place where it's just going to be sort of the Wild West again?

sort of the Wild West again? Because is it going to get so strange that security is just going to be like a privatized thing mostly? What's going to happen? It could. I think most likely people are going to get fed up and they're going to elect some officials and some government people

that come in and clean it up. That's what they did in New York City. That's when Giuliani took over New York City and cleaned it up. L.A. is going to York City. That's when Giuliani took over New York City and cleaned it up. L.A. is going to have to. There's this guy, Rick Caruso, who's running for mayor in L.A., and he's a big-time developer. And, you know, he's basically saying, look, in one year,

I can put most of the homeless situation, get those people to shelters, house them, take care of them, and get them off the streets. And these people aren't doing that now. And he wants that to be a number one priority. Because if you're a guy who's a real estate developer and you're developing a project and across the street from you there's like 80 tents, that's not good for business. It's not good for those people either.

It's not good for anyone. And they're being ignored and, in fact, even encouraged because there's laws that protect them and make it easier for them to live like that. And downtown L.A. is fucking mad max right now. Man, I don't know if you've seen any of the more recent videos of downtown L.A. Holy shit, man. No, we saw a guy with a sword in albuquerque i think i told you about that though we saw a guy with a sword just protecting the streets one night but he was like dracula that's what that kind of sword and he was this dude was it was crazy the guy's walking

down the street with a fucking you know with a sword yeah and he had it like that you know like how it's oh a samurai yeah he was ready go. And he was not a licensed samurai. There's no way this guy was. He was like 6'4". What, he can't be a tall samurai? I don't think so. Why not? Think about it, man.

We'll help. Oh, let's all hide. Oh, Danny. Huh? You're like, oh, let's all hide. Oh, fucking Danny's here. You know, tall ass. Well, I think samurais were ninjas.

You're thinking of ninjas, not samurais. Oh, yeah. Maybe I'm thinking of ninjas. Yeah. Samurais don't hide. They, not Samurais. Oh, yeah. Maybe I'm thinking of ninjas. Yeah. Samurais don't hide. They come to fuck you up. Oh, yeah. Then this guy would probably be good then.

Yeah, he'd be perfect. Got a nice reach. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't think about that. He just looked like he was just reaching for, I don't know, just reaching for the Lord, man. It's got one doing super good. Reaching for the Lord.

It was middle of the night. Yeah, we'd done a show there. And it was just, I mean, it's Albuquerque. It's wild. You know, the aliens are on the ground. You think? Yeah, dude. Do you think the aliens are in New Mexico?

I mean, dude, yeah, bro. Go to Albuquerque. Roswell. Bro, Roswell. That's where they crashed. Well, if they crashed, they all fucking, they rented cars and drove over to Albuquerque. They're there. Do you believe they're visiting us?

I believe that we're them, that they're us just from way in the future. I think so too. I'm glad you said that. A lot of people have been saying that lately. I think that's a thing that people kind of have in the back of their head, that that's where we're going to be. That's what we're going to do. We're going to look like that one day.

Well, yeah, you look at Facebook, you know, at Mark, and you look at Elon, you look at a lot of these guys who are, you know, mentally on the edge kind of computer humans, you know, and their bodies are white, and they look just like an alien. You know, they have a very very they're as closer as we're getting well i think if you look at like ancient man like ancient hominids they were muscular and hairy and you look at people today they're doughy and spindly and they're moving towards that general direction i think that's what when we look at that alien yeah that steven spielberg close encounters of the third kind type. That's like an archetypal

Image that we have in our consciousness I think we recognize that that's where we're going and then we're gonna be connected to technology in some very bizarre way And we're most likely going to be like some sort of a cyborg Well, you know what the things you think about aliens you don see them with no backpacks or no transistors or anything. They're just... Just chilling. They're probably not even a biological creature anymore. At a certain point in time, I think that's

where life goes. Life creates this sort of artificial life and then transitions to becoming it. And I think life symbiotically attaches itself to technology and becomes a cyborg, some sort of a part biology, part computer, and then it realizes that the biology

is just in the way. The biology part just wants to fuck and yell and cry. And you know, you're trying to like create black holes. Like I don't have time for this. know they're in the corner crying yeah we're gonna be it yeah that kind of stuff's gonna be so archaic dude you know it's gonna be really fucked Instagram influencers are trying to motivate you yeah you gotta get out there and chase your dreams the world's not waiting for you you know they're doomed yeah those people that yeah it's a dying market is it yeah we

can do you know motivate people when everybody can see through walls and read They're doomed. Yeah. Those people, it's a dying market. Is it? Yeah. What are you going to do? Motivate people when everybody can see through walls and read minds? Yeah. That shit ain't going to work. Yeah, that's true. And also contractors will have to fucking really step their game up. Contractors? Just that people are seeing through walls and stuff.

People are going to be like, hey, man. You know. The neighbors know. Yeah, the neighbors know. Well, I think the neighbors are going to know because everyone's going to be able to know what everyone's doing. I think in the future, there will be no privacy. I think that is one thing. Right now, there's no real privacy in terms of the government. 100% can listen to your phone. I've had people that were like Gavin DeBecker, who's a real security expert, and he was talking to me about Pegasus.

And Pegasus was the system that they developed. They used on Jeff Bezos. They used on Jeff Bezos. That's how Jeff Bezos, remember when Jeff Bezos had photos and text messages, and they used it to embarrass him, and it was about him and his girlfriend? Yeah, yeah. Remember that? Yeah.

Well, they got that through this Pegasus system. So someone sent him a WhatsApp. The MBS from Saudi Arabia sent him a WhatsApp message, and that WhatsApp message had inside of it a link that he clicked on, and that link downloaded Pegasus onto his phone and then they got access to the entire details of his phone and through that they got a hold of these text messages that he had with his girl and then they made them public and they they you know tried to embarrass him can TikTok take our text messages you think yes oh Jesus yeah I think they get

everything I think they get all your recordings, all your audio. They know what music you're listening to, what YouTube videos you're watching. I think they get everything. All the porn you're watching, all the porn you're watching. I'm not watching any. All of it. Zero? I've seen some.

But I haven't seen that much. I mean, I don't think there's- Are you into like stepsister porn? No. Stepmom porn? I like the hot milfs do you yeah like a hot 40 year old goes to the gym that's my kind of girl oh yeah trying to think of i've made love to anybody like that in my life i don't know if i have or not what's your type i like probably volleyball chick. A strong girl, athletic.

Yeah, some athleticism. I like it. Maybe has a family member that can't speak English that good. Oh, okay. Foreigners. Foreigner or even mentally fucking unwell. Happy to be here. Oh, mentally unwell.

You like that? I know if there's somebody in their family is. Okay. Because they're loving people. Oh, right. Because you're compassionate because you have this family member. Nurses. Challenges.

Nurses. Very kind people, right? Yeah. Nurses are really cool. Some of them, some of them not so nice. Yeah, Nurse Ratched. Remember her? Or Kathy Bates from Misery.

Typhoid Mary? Wasn't Kathy Bates a nurse from Misery? I don't know. The Stephen King movie? I remember she was a nurse. She broke James Ca don't know. The Stephen King movie? I don't remember if she was a nurse. She broke James Caan's ankles. Rest in peace, James Caan. Oh, that movie, remember?

Yeah, Misery. Oh, dude. She was a former nurse. Yeah. Thank God for Uber, huh? Well, and then there was also that nurse. There was one nurse that was killing all of her patients. There was a nurse that they found there was a

disproportionate number of people that were dying under her care. They'll do that if you're not nice to them. There's 18 serial killer nurses who murdered their patients. Whoa! Jesus Christ. That guy killed... Hold on. Go back up to that guy. This dude. Look at this.

Niles Hogle may have killed more than 90 people february 2013 15 german nurse not how do you say hogel hogel was jailed for two murders and several attempted murders at the delmenhorst hospital he would inject his patients with a cardiovascular drug to create a medical emergency and then step in to resuscitate them at the last moment. Wow. So he was just like thrill killing. Oh my God.

Go back up to her. That's back in the day. Amelia Dyer. But look at her face. She looks like a lady who killed 400 people. Amelia Dyer is one of the most notorious serial killers in history. Although she was only convicted of 12 deaths, evidence suggests her true body count was at

least 400. Her crimes took place during a 20-year time span in the late 1800s and all of her victims were babies. Oh, man. Oh, my God. What a freaking cunt, dude. If you're going to attack babies? Dyer was a trained nurse who

turned to baby farming to make money. Baby farming? Yeah, it's like those puppy mills kind of. She would offer to adopt or nurse a child in return for a fee, but then would typically terminate the babies within days by drugging them with opium-based substances or smothering them. She actually served six months in prison for negligence in 1879, but Dyer wasn't

arrested for her crimes until 1896. Her reign of terror finally ended permanently on June 10th, 1896. She was executed by hanging for the murder of 12 infants. That's the past, man. Holy fuck, man. See, every time I try and romanticize

the past, you gotta think there was some frickin' crazy folks out there. This is the best time I try and romanticize the past you got to think there was some frickin crazy folks out there this is the best time to be alive fuck the past yeah you always say that I like that is the best time to be alive it's a good thing huh yeah there's listen there's troubles and trials and tribulations and there's difficulties in today's life but it's also a time of unprecedented information and kindness fucked up. Oh my god Daniele a pokey Ali ended her patients and then took selfies with them So she killed them and then took selfies Italian nurse Daniella Daniella pokey Ali or Jolly

Allegedly killed at least 90 of her patients on purpose because they were bothersome. Interesting word. While she vehemently denied the charges, the Italian government thought otherwise and charged her in 2014 with her crimes. Not only was Poggialli present for 96 deaths during her time as a nurse, a very high number according to authorities, but she also took selfies with her deceased patients police say she stole money and jewelry from the victims and bragged to others

that she killed them because they annoyed her oh my god but do you think that's just a sign of the time it's like these people get selfies with anything you know all the time so it's like do you think it's just like oh they died i'm also getting the selfie i guess if you do it that much and it's obvious that you're you want to be a bad person. Well, I think she's a sick bitch. And she was like, she's killing them. The selfies is not that creepy in comparison to just the fact that she's killing them. Yeah.

I wonder how you get, I mean, if we can test people for that. But, dude, then all those shows, Dateline, all that's going to be a wrap, bro. Like, I've wanted more people to kill people. we have more of those shows to watch fucking hate to say that I think there's plenty of stories from the past no I've seen all the repackage them everybody knows it bro there's we need new content okay We need people to break in. Okay, why do women like those shows so much? Women love those serial killer shows. I've always thought, and this is going to come back to haunt me, that a lot of women want to be murdered. Or want to have a man show up.

Because it's the closest thing to that knight in shining armor. But it's like, it's a man shows up. It's like, at night It has all this mystery to it You think that's why they like vampires. It's close. Think about that Twilight. Remember how many women were in love with the Twilight thing? Yeah, yeah Robert Pattinson, he was a handsome beautiful vampire Yeah, dude. I mean think about it's like It's the clothes. It's like it's a mystery they're

there at night there's romance the stars are in the sky right bats and they want to be you know it's like they a lot of times there's a potential of sex there's danger danger protect you they don't kill you they kill everybody else that's why women love serial killers like women have this crazy thing for serial killers. Whenever there's a serial, not all women. Yeah, they email them. Clearly not all women. But there's some very disturbed women that are sexually aroused and attracted to serial killers. And what they want, you think?

Sex from them? They want sex from them, and I think they're attracted to someone who kills people. I think this probably goes back. Business man. No, I think it probably goes back to the time where you needed a man that is capable of killing people to protect you. Because there's some people that are just not capable of like dealing with the idea it's him or me and we're going to fight with a sword. Right.

Right. But the guy who can do that and come out on top, that's the guy who you want his genes because your children have a better chance of success. Yeah, so there's probably like this Twisted genetic reason why women are attracted to killers Yeah, that's why they have those fantasies the rape murder fan I mean, I'm not saying you know, I probably shouldn't say it really but it's like but it's a commonly known Reality. Yes, that's a fantasy. No, but it's a commonly known reality. Yes, that's a fantasy. It's a twisted fantasy, but it's a thing.

Yeah. Like they don't have like the, yeah. There's not like a stay-at-home dad fantasy. You know, it's like they have a real fantasy, man. There's no stay-at-home dad. I have a friend who just got divorced from her husband who's a stay-at-home dad, and she was just, at the end, she had enough of this dude. Wow.

Yeah. And then she said to me, she was like, do you know any men, like manly men to set me up with? Like she wanted a fucking man. Yeah. She was coming to me because she was hoping that I knew like some UFC fighter or something. I'll get in there. Set her up. You ready?

Huh? Are you ready for it? I'll do my best. It's my responsibility. You can't say I'm gonna do my best. Okay, sorry. Yes, I am ready. Fuck yeah, I'm ready. Fuck yeah.

Yeah, no, this one, when you say, are you ready, Theo? Are you ready? I'm gonna say, I'm her. I'm asking you. Are you ready, Theo, to be a real man with me? Fuck yeah. Hmm. I'm not believing it. Damn, that was pretty fucking good. Are you ready Theo to be a real man with me fuck you hmm?

I'm gonna believe this fucking doubt your Alright alright, I'll ask you again I'll do in a girl's voice. Maybe I can feel there. Yeah. Theo, are you ready to be a real man with me? Fuck yeah. Nope. Not buying it. At all. Damn, dude, what?

Not buying it at all. If I was a cop, I'd arrest you for lying. Oh, come on, bro. Dang, dog. I thought I did pretty good, man. No, no, no. You're just not used to it. Yeah.

Try it on me. All right. Hey, Joe, are you ready to be a real man? Fuck yeah. Dang, boy, I did hit a little. Yeah, it's real. All right. Let me try you one more time, all right?

Like I just, something happened to me, all right? Okay. Like I just came in from the rain. Okay. I hear thunder. Hey, Joe. Are you ready to be a real man? Depends on what you want from me.

Why are you wet? Do you own an umbrella? Did your car break down? Like, what the fuck is going on? Okay. So now I see. I don't want to be that guy. Now you're a trouble. Right.

You're a problem. I'm a problem if I'm that guy. You might be one of them gals who comes in wet all the time. Yeah. Like, you never figure out umbrellllas your car's always getting a flat tire you're annoying you're just cleaning your glasses off you're a problem yeah but also if i'm that guy who's just like a bunch of quits like i just want to be the fuck yeah guy fuck yeah fuck yeah fuck yeah fuck yeah fuck yeah yeah you gotta think fuck yeah like you already have a heart on Fuck yeah.

Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Yeah. You got to think fuck yeah like you already have a heart on. Fuck yeah. Yeah, that was real. Yeah. That felt real.

Like you think of yourself as you're already rock hard, purple helmet, ready to go. Fuck yeah. Woo! Fuck yeah. Take a sniff of this and then tell me. Here he goes. Here he goes, folks. One more hit. Shake it up.

Shake it up. You ready to be a real man? Get in there. Yeah, I feel alone. Give it to me. Do it. I'm going to do it. Give me some.

Here we go. Fuck yeah. Get in there, Joseph. No, I didn't get it. Get in there. Are you No, I didn't get it. Get in there! Are you ready to be a real man? The first one I didn't really get, but the second one I got a full blast. Look at my eyes.

Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah! Put the lid on that, son. Fuck no, son. I'm going to do one more. Oh my god! Jeez! Alright.

You're gonna hurt yourself. It still, like, lingers. It's, like, attached to my nostril hair. I can taste it. Get in there, Jamie. You need to get ahead of this. I'm tired of your bullshit. Make that fucking pussy pop, it. Get in there, Jamie. You need to get ahead of this. Come on, Jamie, hon. I'm tired of your bullshit. Make that fucking pussy pop, son.

Get in there, dog. He's like watching us suffer. I know. And he's not getting none of it. I want to see his elbows get hard. There he goes. There he goes. There he goes.

There he goes. There he goes, dude. There he goes. I told you. Ooh, he's moving his limbs, bro. He's doing karate over there That new one's different Fuck yeah

It felt like a sniff chlorine Yeah yeah yeah That new one's different That's what God wanted for you son You got boogers coming out already Oh yeah yeah yeah It's no joke You got right in front of you

Right in front of you Tissues right there bro That's what God wanted for you Oh my god No joke No joke right How high could people get a long time ago, you think? I think they got real high.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Ooh, look at Jamie. He was, like, sitting there on the sidelines, mocking us. I know. You know, that's bullshit. It felt like water with chlorine was just going through my nose. Yeah.

Right. Like, it wasn't like a sniff. It wasn't air. It was like a solid thing went in your nose, right? Oh, yeah. It's like you work at a wave pool, dude, with with your face man. That's just hardcore. It's hardcore. It's good Whoo I think people got real high back in the day I mean that's the there's a book the immortality key by this guy Brian Murrow rescue

Uh-huh, and he detailed how the ancient Greeks during the Enlightenment. They were all drinking wine that was laced with psychedelics. And they proved it. They found these ancient pottery vessels, and they did samples on them, and they found LSD in them, lysergic acid. It wasn't like LSD. It was ergot, which is very similar.

It produces LSD-like effects. And that's what helped him think of all that stuff? Yes, 100%. Not only that, but during the the podcast because of the podcast and because of his book Because he came on the podcast was so popular and the book sold like crazy Harvard opened up a new field of study dealing with the ancient Greeks in the Enlightenment and psychedelic use Wow So psychedelics have probably helped things progress over time Wow, man. So psychedelics have probably helped things progress over time.

100%. I mean, think about what it did for you, how it opens up your feelings and thoughts and opens up your creativity. For me, it's been a giant source of creativity. It helps me so much. It helps me. Even just marijuana helps me so much with writing and thinking about things and just checking my own behavior to make sure that I'm proud of the way I think and talk and making me communicate with people that I might have had difficulties with or apologize or reach out to them. Like if maybe we had a dispute or something like that, the feeling that you want to resolve things and just being in touch with your feelings and in touch with thoughts and

there's the the opening of creativity it's also like the recognizing that like having like unresolved things in your head they're not good for you yeah those things they stay in your head you got to resolve them and when you resolve them they go away. Like this weight lifts off of your body. But until that weight lifts off your body, you're going to carry those things around. Well, that's the same thing that like 12-step programs do. It's like resentment.

You get to resentment and you heal all those, you know? And 12-step programs, that's another thing they do is you reach out and resolve things for people. You apologize to people. People that you might have wronged. Hey, I'm sorry I stole that coke from you you gotta call them and tell them yeah you know yeah so i think yeah it's just a good way it's it's almost a way of it's like a purging all of

you know it's all interesting you know different modalities people use to try and make themselves well or to um keep tabs on themselves it's all real fascinating yeah it's real fascinating you know there's a lot of stuff there's stuff on the inside stuff on the outside um but yeah i'm glad to be alive and be able to keep trying stuff and like uh keep competing against the world you know and against myself yeah keep getting better right that's the big thing just keep improving on the way you interface with reality the way you interface with other people the way you do your life your job that you get better on stage because of that too right you get more freedom you feel like you're more yourself more home your own skin oh some of my last shows were some of the some of my best you

know and it's funny because i used to think man i'll never be able to create stuff that's going to get me you know like that's going to be even better than some of my previous stuff and then it's like yeah it just that's always the fear right yeah well i'm in that right now because i'm getting ready to film and then once i film i'm fucked you know i'm out of weapons i gotta write all new shit it's like springtime but it's that feeling that scary feeling of having to create new stuff that's exciting man it's so good for Yeah. It's so important because it's growth. And it's also, it's a rare art form where you get to start from scratch.

Whereas, like, musicians, they always, everybody wants to hear those old hits. You know, play Free Bird. People want to hear those old hits. You could even do covers. Yeah. I mean, you could, I mean, if you're a musician, you could fucking tour with other people's shit. Right? Yeah mean you could i mean if you're a musician you can fucking tour with other people

shit yeah you can yeah you can yeah you could go and do a arena and you go this is a song i really love uh bruce springsteen song people start cheering and uh you know shout out to bruce we can't do that can't do that no i wonder what that would be like if somebody just said i'm gonna do covers of all these people's things people People have done stuff like that before. We used to do a show in Boston, Stitch's Comedy Club, called Joe Biden Night. This was back when Joe Biden had a dropout of his presidential run in 1988 because he got busted for plagiarizing. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah.

Yeah. He plagiarized Robert Kennedy Jr.'s dad. Did he really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. He plagiarized quite a few people. And so it was so publicly known in 1988 that they had a night called Joe Biden Night.

Damn. And Joe Biden Night was like, I will go up and do your act. Oh, I see. Jay got bit by my cousin. Yeah. So we'll see. Yeah. I'll be doing your act.

And you would do my act. And that was like a night where guys would go up and do each other'll see. Yeah. I'll be doing your act and you would do my act. And that was like a night where guys would go up and do each other's acts. Damn. That's wild. And we called it Joe Biden night. Was it fun? It was fun. Yeah.

Yeah. I think I did Fitzsimmons' act. Oh, he's funny. Yeah. Oh, he's funny. Funny as fuck. And back in the day, Greg and I came up almost exactly at the same time. I think he was a week earlier or a week after me,

but within a week. Yeah, man, he's so funny. I always enjoy seeing him. He's like a- Great person. Yeah. He reminds me of Andy Capp. Remember him from those cartoons?

He always has that Paperboy hat on. I wear those hats a lot, too. Yeah. I love those hats. It's good. Greg is the best. He's just such a good guy, and he's so funny. And the way he laughs, you can make Greg laugh. He laughs like of his whole body. You know yeah

Yeah, it's funny seeing people laugh man. Yeah, it's such a strange thing that someone that we move and make a sound Oh, yeah, I mean think about a show when you really. Like last night, we had a killer show last night. Oh, my God. It was so much fun. Last night was just, there's those nights where it's just popping. Last night, it was popping. And in the middle of it, like, I was watching these guys just cry and laugh, and they're slapping the table, and they were trying to catch their breath.

And I was like, I ain't even hit you with the best lines yet. And here comes the next one. Boom. And then on top of that, and you're compounding. Bang, bang, bang. And they walk out of there, they feel better. Like, you feel better. You walk out of there like, God, I feel better, man.

That's like an ayahuasca. It's like an experience, like a release of things that, yeah, it all just kind of shakes you. It's interesting, all the little things that are built into life and into the world to help us take care of ourselves. It's a strange state, the state of laughter. Yeah, because you shake, you make a sound,

and you didn't even plan on doing it. You start laughing, your body's shaking. Sometimes you can't breathe, you know? Sometimes someone will say something and you didn't

see it coming, and you're like, oh shit, oh shit. Yeah. I remember a dude came out of the closet one time on one of my shows. He just was like, I'm gay. Really?

And just fucking right in the front row, dude. Wow. And his buddies were like, Patrick, chill out, man. Really? Yeah. Have another beer, dude. You're out of your fucking mind, man. What were you talking about that made him yell that out?

Do you remember? I don't remember. No, this was about seven or eight years ago. So it was just the laughter moved him to honesty. Hey! Do you think he had to explain that to his friends afterwards? I mean, yeah, well, he ordered two beers immediately. He did?

Yeah. Wow. I think he just wanted to frickin' just put that damp tiger back in the cage. The damp tiger. He wasn't ready to be full-time gay, man. I don't think he was ready for it. But he wanted to get that monkey off his back. Shook it out of him.

Yeah, he wanted to get that freedom. God. That's got to be the worst. That's one of the things that drives me the most crazy and makes me the most angry about homophobia that robs people of freedom Robs people of their life to just be who they are. Yeah Yeah like imagine if a dad would just was saying all kinds of like Anti-gay stuff and then their kid is there and the guy is Gary even thinking about it or if he has a gay friend now He's afraid to injury even introduce his dad to his friend

Like I think there's a lot of guys that say a lot of anti gay Stuff because they have gay feelings and they're angry. They're angry at those feeling like the guys that are mad about gay people You know there's there's people that like say gay things because they think it's funny But then those there's people that'll be angry about gay people to get mad and those people I'm always like suspect Like why you mad yeah, we mad at why someone loves someone else? Like what is it about you being mad that someone is sexually attracted to someone that's of the same sex? There's so many people that are like that. It's so easy to find them now.

Like if you were on an app, if you wanted to like get some gay sex, like gay guys can find each other now. This is not like you didn't know. Oh, yeah. I guys can find each other now this is not like uh like you didn't know oh yeah i don't want to put myself out there like it's accepted it's a normal thing now it's like it's like the social stigma of it is almost all gone with modern society with most polite society dude we used to get high when we were kids and we go outside and get high and then i'd come back in early into my buddy's house and I would tell his dad. I would be like, oh, Mr. Mike, man. Because his dad had a lot of anti-gay energy, you know?

Really? Yeah, and he would just say stuff all, you know, like, queers, just say stuff. You know, just like ignorant shit. Did he have his pants off when he did that? I didn't see anything like that. But I'd come in after we'd been out there smoking weed. I'd come in and I'd be like, Mr. Mike, man, they were being, I don't know, Richard was over. And people were just being kind of.

Touchy feely. Yeah, it was just real strange out there. Did you bait them? Yeah, bro. So then, dude, my friends, Adam would come back inside, man. And his dad would be like, what in the fuck have you boys been doing out there? You've been queering around. Queering as a verb is very funny.

Oh, you've been queering around, boys. And he was just lighting it. And I would be dying with laughter. And they were so high, they didn't know how to explain that they hadn't been you know queer because they're so high and you set them up do you feel bad about that I feel great about it

that shit was some of the I loved creating an ambiance in advance man oh so you knew it was coming and they had a gas leak over at that house too man and we'd go over there bro

we'd sleep from fucking Friday night to Sunday morning bro really oh bro I never slept so good dude i woke up fucking four years old at that i miss it god that was good good old days sleeping when you just had so much time to kill time doesn't feel like you can kill it anymore does it no too many responsibilities yeah when i wake up i wake up with like a certain sense of dread because i got so much shit to do yeah you know when i wake up i'm like okay i'm like i'd like to relax and have a cup of coffee and just sort of slowly work my way into the day

but i can't i gotta go gotta go gotta go and a moment doesn't have as much value a moment used to be something that You could never replicate now since everything is kind of captured. You know and everything's recorded and stuff It's like a moment is uh It doesn't feel the same you know it kind of does after a while though because let me tell you something cuz I capture so many Moments and so many moments of mine so many conversations of mine like this one are out there forever, that it's normal to me. That's normal to me. Yeah, I guess maybe I don't mean like in podcasts. I guess I just mean like

a moment used to feel like it couldn't be captured. Oh, right. Right. You're just like, wow. This happened. Appreciate this. Yeah, there's this. Like something would happen like,

oh, fuck, bro, what if we could have captured? That would have been insane. And so there was this, like something would happen like, oh, fuck, bro. What if we could have captured? That would have been insane. And so there was so much like the moment just had, and I don't know if they have them, you know, it's just less of that now because we have the ability to capture. It's okay. It's just interesting. There are some moments we look back and you're like, God, that was fun. Yeah. What a great moment.

But now we're either making, we're either recording something or we're watching something. I feel like we're always caught in the circle. Especially us, too, because we work in this world. Right. Do you feel better being outside of Hollywood? Do you feel better having moved to Nashville? Do you feel like less pressure from the machine? You know what I'm saying?

Like the show business machine yeah I feel um I feel I feel like I oh I remember what it's like to be in a normal place right cuz that's totally mean even being here in Austin it's a totally different energy that's what I love so I remember that and then also it's like I feel like I've had more opportunities to do Hollywood type things from you know since I haven't even been there Like me and Spade wrote a script together, which is really fun. You know like Like I don't know it's like I've just kind of been able to pick and choose I haven't felt any pressure

Hmm of Hollywood kind of space still annoying? Yeah, he's still in LA. Who has moved? How many people have moved? Dylan, Tom Segura, Christina Pazitsky, Tony Hinchcliffe. And Dylan moved back, though. Yeah, but he still has a house here. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

He hasn't really moved back. He has places all over the place. Who else? Steve Byrne. You know, his early days, he was a real estate guy. Oh, was he really? Yeah, so he's got a bunch of properties that he's picked up. Oh, interesting.

Yeah, he's a smart dude, man. Who, Tim Dillon? Yeah, smart dude. Oh, yeah, he's real interesting. Yeah, he's very smart. He's like a real news guy, too. Oh, he's on top of things. I'm always sending him some fucked up shit.

Yeah, he's great. Who,. I'm always sending him some fucked up shit. Yeah, he's great. Who, Steve Byrne, Josh Wolfe. I'm trying to think of other folks that have left. Did they move to Nashville? No, just different places. Where did Byrne move to? Oh, he moved to Nashville. I thought he moved to Nashville. Yeah.

Josh Wolfe lives in Las Vegas. How many other clubs are there except for Zany's in Nashville? That's it. That's it. So it's kind of hard to get that regular stage time there right so it's kind of like you just kind of like take a break i mean when you're working on touring you can kind of you're getting up at least you know a few nights a week um and so i'll usually go to go to la and practice for a couple of weeks and you know get

things good and get things cruising oh so you get to get to LA, get your reps in, and then go the road. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I'll be out there all of August just working on material and doing that. Nice. So it's good, you know? It feels good. What else is going on?

Not much. I have to pee so bad. All right, let's wrap it up. You want to? Yeah, it was fun. We had a great time, brother. Yeah. And we're going to work together tomorrow night and Wednesday night.

Yeah, man, sounds good. And you're going to kill Tony tonight, too? Yeah, you're going to be up there? No. No, I can't make it tonight. What do you all do on Mondays? Do you have a thing you do at home? No.

Not necessarily. Right. Usually weekends is family time, but tonight is just chill. Yeah. I haven't worked out today yet, so I'm going to work out. We'll get out of here. Well, after all the hits You just did dude

Yeah I'll get another Juju Mufu right before I do some squats Yeah man Thanks good to see you bro Thanks for having me My pleasure brother

Always good to see you Always good to see you Always a pleasure I'm gonna have to check it out You got anything That you're promoting Anything people need to know about Not much

I'll probably be getting Some more tour dates up soon But everything's good You can check me out On this past weekend And on King of the sting King this thing in the wing, right? Yeah, King this thing in the wing. That's true. Extra now. We got an extra now. How is that? Do you fly to LA to do those? Yeah, and some I'll do on zoom Oh nice, but I've even been cutting back. I've just taken a little break like some episodes

I've been taking off here and there I've been taking a little more break in my own episodes I just been focusing on just feeling good. I can see you got a pain real bad. Can you? Yeah, I can feel it. I can feel your energy. You're like... I can't ride this bag anymore.

All right, let's wrap it up. All right. Bye, everybody. All right, praise. Thanks. Bye.