The Joe Rogan Experience - #1850 - Whitney Cummings

Episode Date: July 29, 2022

Whitney Cummings is a stand-up comic, author, and host of the "Good for You" podcast. Her new special "Whitney Cummings: Jokes" is now streaming on Netflix. www.whitneycummings.com

the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day what do you love oh yeah what is that it's an nft sort of it's like digital art it's people do you know people is he's the best brilliant Every day that guy puts out a new piece. Insane. And it's computer generated but does he go in and like paint it? I don't understand how it works

but there's something involving computers. They should, I think, I think there's a Palm Pilot. I think every time I see one of his pieces on Instagram,

like you know, there'll be like a sweeping sort of dystopian city. Look at the new one. What the fuck is that? This is gonna give me nightmares, bro. This is the hair on, I got hairy legs.

But wait, are these... The Biden. Why are, they look raspberries, but those are germs? I think, yeah. See, it says mild symptoms. That's what it's called. Oh, funny. He's just such a character, too. He's a really fun guy. You would enjoy him on your podcast. My uterus right now. Wow. What is the what is the one where it's he'll do like a cityscape? And I'm like, oh, they should make an animated movie about his world. Yeah.

Not that one. There's a bunch of them. Well, there's so many. The problem is he puts out one every single day. God, it's wild. Yeah, it's amazing stuff. It's really good. Wow. It's almost, I don't want to compare it. He'll probably hate me if he hears this, but it feels like it's got Banksy-esque commentary, like using sort of famous, iconic images and subverting them.

But he'll say, like when you ask him, like, you know, why do you have all the, you know, dicks dressed up as missiles? He's like, when you ask him, like, you know, why do you have all the, you know, dicks dressed up as missiles? He's like, I don't know. I fucking just made a fucking picture of some dicks. That was us last night watching Top Gun. Yeah. Which I loved.

It was a mind-bending thrill ride. I was. Mrs. Rogan wasn't that into it. Well, it was. She was like, eh. We definitely were laughing at parts that got a little too... Homoerotic? Like, melodramatic.

It felt a little telenovela. And it didn't help that all the machines looked like giant dicks flying through the air. It was all these guys on dicks being like, love you, man. But I thought it was cool because it was just like, it was so unabashedly emotional and patriotic. And it was like a love letter to our forces. Oh. It really is. I mean.

Well, they got in trouble, right? Like China won't distribute it because he wore a Taiwanese flag on his back or something. Was that the Jon Hamm character? I think someone told me the character was so decorated and had one Taiwanese flag and they might have made that them Take it out. Of course. I think they were gonna take it out, but then they changed their mind or something But it's like the pressure from China. Yeah, there it is Yeah, so here is 2019 the trailer for Top Gun Maverick showed Cruz's character US Navy pilot Pete Mitchell in the same bomber jacket

He wore in the original film but two of its flag patches representing Japan and the Republic of China, the official name for Taiwan, appear to have been replaced by other emblems. The movie's like four years old then? That's wild. That's wild. They're like, we can't believe Tom Cruise believes. So they started filming it then?

I think it was supposed to come out, then the pandemic happened. And they're like, we need this to be in theaters. We've got to wait. Right. It's funny that the problem they have with Tom Cruise is that he believes Taiwan is its own country and not that he believes in aliens. Well, I believe in aliens. He doesn't believe in aliens. He believes that we are thetans.

Right, right, right. That we were, like, dropped off in volcanoes that were like ice cubes. off in volcanoes that were like ice cubes. I have a hot take on Scientology, which is that I drive by the creepy-ass Scientology Center in L.A. now, and I'm like, you know what? I'm glad anyone that thinks that's a good idea is in a building. Anyone that would be vulnerable to that is just, they've got them, they stay in there, they go on boats. Like, what would the people that think Scientology is a good idea to subscribe to be doing if Scientology was not available to like be the cult that they're a part

of they would like join the moonies or something yeah they would be something else yeah they would find some other thing to latch on to cult type thing yeah I mean there's just a lot of vulnerable people out there that just have weak minds and I think the more apocalyptic the world becomes or the more it feels like this doomsday thing, the more we all want to latch on to something that's going to give us a sense of control, fake control. If they didn't have such a wacky origin story,

I think they'd be way more successful. The problem is like the guy who started, did you ever read Lawrence Wright's Going Clear? I saw the documentary. I interviewed him, fascinating guy. You've had Leah on? Yeah, I've had Leah on. I had Miscavige's dad

on who escaped, like literally escaped in a car chase. Left the compound to get away from his son and Scientology. And the wife is missing. Shelley. I don't believe she's missing. I think she came out and said,

no, I'm fine. Oh, really? But, you know, I think she's probably... Was it my robot with her color hair? I am fine. I think she was punished for insubordination. I bet. She probably didn't salute correctly.

Something went wrong. It's pretty wild. I mean, and the fact that they still have tax, they don't pay taxes. That's the wildest thing. It's pretty wild. I mean, and the fact that they still have tax, they don't pay taxes. That's the wildest thing. It's like, first of all, here's what's wild. That guy, L. Ron Hubbard, who created Scientology, was a science fiction writer

who is the most prolific author in human history. He has more published work than any other author ever because that motherfucker never wrote a second draft. His work is so bad. It's so bad. It's like and then they pulled the laser beams out and shooted them at the planet. And then the planet blew up into a million pieces. And then those million pieces shot off into individual spaceships.

And those individual spaceships floated out into different galaxies and started their own universes. It's so bad. But back then, was he on a typewriter, or was it handwritten? Oh, yeah, typewriter, for sure. Yeah, that's too annoying to have to go back and redo. Well, they all did that. I mean, that was Hemingway's famous quote that Ari used to have glued on his laptop. It said, the first draft of everything is shit.

First drafts are supposed to suck. Yeah, they suck. You're trying to get your ideas out there and then you go back and you sort of reform them. And that's I mean, that's how it is with every bit. Right. I'm just I cannot tell you this is the first time I've shot an hour that I felt like was like ready. Like ready. Do you think you're more ready because we have all this time

because of the pandemic i made a promise to myself that i would not come out of the pandemic uh less skilled at anything less interesting you know too late sloppy how dare you? And I was like, okay, we obviously have this time. Like, we can't sit around and just get rusty. We can't, when we come back and everyone finally is, you know, in their mind, taking a big risk, going to a show where people are exhaling on each other or, like, you know, taking a risk to go to a venue, which is what people thought about it, at least some states, when we first started going back out. And they've been inside for two years. They've been listening to us on podcasts. They feel connected to us. I was like, I'm not going to go out there and be mediocre or work out and it would like be sloppy. And so I worked really hard over the pandemic to be writing, to be thoughtful and

to go, you know, this stuff is killing, but in 10 years, will it still feel insightful and fresh? Just cutting a lot of stuff that felt like it works, but I would rather go smarter or weirder or try to figure out a way that this is going to age well. I think it gives you time to, I think the thing about like the way we were doing specials before was like every two years is great. Louis did it every one year for a while, which I think is kind of insane.

Yeah. But every two, and that's what Carlin did too. So I think that's the model that he adopted. Every two years was good. But for me, like I'm about to film and I feel like my shit has never been tighter. It's like never been tighter because I had the time off and then getting back into it also had like this newfound enthusiasm because I recognized like, hey, this thing that we love so much almost went away and kind of did for at least a year. We took it for granted.

Yeah. But now I have these bits that I didn't record in 2020 and I got to hone them and sharpen them and edit them and polish them and and then add all this new stuff to it as well. And it's just I think that's the way to do it I think it's more like three years or maybe even four this is you made a very big impact on me one day you might not even remember it but this was maybe my last special and uh I was about to shoot it and you went I just shot a special all I can tell you is if you think you're ready do it for another three I can tell you is if you think you're ready, do it for another three months.

Yeah. Like when you think you're ready, that's when you need another three months, you know? And I had probably, after I thought I was ready, I was able to do like, I mean, I did maybe 85, 90 shows or something of this one. So it was really fun to like be in the pocket, feel like it was ready and then go,

nah, there's more to do. There's more to chisel. Yeah. And I don't know if you really know till after you filmed it, but this is, I've done five specials. This was the first one that when I taped it, I was like, I'm done. I wasn't still thinking of tags later. It wasn't haunting me. I wasn't looking at the edit going, ah, I should have thought of that. I was like, I have left everything on the floor. Well, when we saw you at the Paramount, you were so loose. You, you were so in the groove, you know what, you know, when we saw you at the Paramount, you were so loose. You were so in the groove. You know, when someone is just like, you know, when someone's thinking while they're up there

and they're thinking about their next bid or they're thinking about their transitions, you were just free, you know, and that's a sign that someone's ready. Thank you. And that means a lot. And I agree with you, not to sound narcissistic, but I do think that, you know, there's a point you get to when you work something so hard in front of so many different kinds of people, you know, in that hour, you know, I feel really precious about in a way or connected to because I was doing it outside on cars with people in masks, like in parking lots, like so many different places. So by the time I got to like a theater where, you know, it's like, it just feels like you're flying and it's the best feeling in the world to just kind of go like, I know all this is going to work. Now, what else can I bring to it physically or playfully? And how can I surprise myself so that I'm actually on a ride with them too? And that's pretty wild that you did it in parking lots too, right?

Whoever gets to say that i did stand up to people in cars because so now it's like i've been getting this such amazing feedback which has been sort of suspiciously nice you know um because the internet usually you know doesn't treat anyone like that much less female comedians but um there's something that feels so, like this is everybody's hour, because I did it so many, everyone that came and laughed and honked and whatever the hell we were going through, I'm like, I know that you guys laughed,

and if anyone says this isn't good, they're judging you. Like, I went all over the country, I went everywhere, and I just really feel good about that. That's great. Like, this has worked everywhere for a while and um i had fun and i was in the moment when i was performing which is hard to

capture you know i almost feel like specials like you know when you just shoot you when you have a great performance somewhere and you're like god i wish we could just film that right and then you go to shoot it and then all of a sudden it's like you're in this completely unnatural situation there's cameras the audience feels the cameras. And you're like, oh, God, I almost wish that we all just toured. And one day you're, you know, in Denver. And someone's like, hey, just so you know, we got that. And you're like, fuck.

Right. There's my special. Right. Like you just no one knew there was cameras there. Exactly. Well, the club that we're setting up out here, we're putting cameras in the walls. We're setting it up so that someone can film there. And all we have to do is just press a button button i would love to shoot my next special there let's

fucking do it can i tell you i think the best you know i'm actually in the fall gonna go back and do a couple clubs because i just miss that tight let 400 yeah people in one place when you're killing and you're on like mind melding there's no better feeling than that. I don't think there's a better environment to watch comedy or to do comedy than a club. I love arenas because they're just nuts. Like standing out there in front of just insane sea of human beings in the round. It's really fun. And when you kill, the sound is insane.

But it's not the same experience. It's a different, bigger, grander experience. But there's something so intimate about like a 300 seat room or a 400 seat room when it's packed and the low ceilings and you're crushing. It's like that's real comedy. That's as good as comedy gets. And I try to really play defense on, I know people kind of zeitgeist you to talk about Claptor, because if you have all your own fans and everyone's psyched to be there and you have a lot of people and people are cheering and you're like, there's a difference between involuntary laughs and cheering. Right.

And when I went back on tour, I'd find that I'd be like, yeah, the other day, you know, I went on a date and people are like, woo! And you're like, that's how comedians start to suck. They conflate that response with an involuntary laugh. Right, but you would never do that. No, I just mean like some— You're too self-aware. Sometimes audiences get amped if they're just your people.

They bought tickets. They're invested. I just mean like every now and then you got to do something. Don't worry about traps that fall in for people that suck. That's what that is. That's a people that suck trap where they get excited and so they purposely say things that no, will get people to cheer. That shit is nonsense.

There's so many people that do that. But in a club, you can feel the, you can feel how you're doing. Oh yeah. Yeah. Well, that's one of the beautiful things about a little club, right? Like the belly room. When you're in that little room, little rooms like that are just like the truth serum. Yep.

They keep you so honest, too. And I think that, you know, with social media now, it's hard to not be corny and be full of shit. It's not. Because we're promoting ourselves. We're going, hey, guys, come see me. It's like, how are we becoming the very thing that we make fun of? It's way harder for people that don't have podcasts. You know why?

Because they feel the need to express their opinions about certain things in a way that is kind of awkward. Where, like, we talk about things so much on podcasts that when you're on stage, you can just talk shit and just have fun. Well, they can't do that. They feel like they have to establish their positions on Roe v. Wade and establish their positions on this and that. And they have to do that on stage, which is kind of crazy. Because it's like, it's not a good way to do comedy. You know, it's just not unless you have a really good bit about it. If you have a really good Roe v. Wade bit,

yeah, great. But if you're just bringing it up, just say, you know, we're in a bad time right now and this fucking Roe v. Wade makes my goddamn blood boil.

Yay. Yay. That is why I called this special Jokes. Oh, is that what you called it? It's called Jokes. Really? That's a great name. Jokes. And I know, you know, people tend to, you know, overthink their titles sometimes.

I think for the most part, nobody remembers any of the titles. They're like, oh, it's the third one. It was the one where he was in Chicago at the theater, right? Right. But I really wanted to let people know that, you know, I'm not going to lecture you on how to vote. I'm not going to bring you in promising you comedy and then do a secret TED talk halfway through where I am vulnerable and talk about my abusive childhood. Like, I'm just trying to make you laugh. I am a clown and I take that very seriously. And I think there's just been this thing where comedians now feel like they have to be way in on everything.

You know why twitter yeah that's what it is yeah that's why i don't go on it this people are all toxic they're out of their fucking minds have you seen norm mcdonald's new special no i haven't it's rough stuff it's rough for me to watch i don't want to i don't want to get sad i couldn't it i cried a couple times i called swartzen and i like, I can't watch it. And he's like, just watch it, you dumb cunt. Get the fuck over yourself. So I was like, okay, you're right, you're right.

What am I doing? Because he does look, you know, he looks not very well. He doesn't look well. How long was it before he died that it was filmed? Maybe a year or something. It's called Nothing Special. He shot it in his house, like a computer, into like an iPad. And he did this why?

Did he do it? During the pandemic. Did he do it as a special? I don't know if he intended for it to be a special or if it just, he shot it during the pandemic. Well, I mean, he must have. And then he died and it was, you know. But was he just experimenting with the material or was he? You never know with norm you never know how worked out it is and he had this joke it's just like perfect he goes um you know he's like ever you know now people want comedians to weigh in on

like political issues and you know he's like back during the vietnam war was everyone like, I wonder what Red Skeleton thinks. It was just like, perfect. And he wasn't preachy. There's a way to do it. There's a way to get your point across without being preachy. So he said, I'm obviously going to butcher it. Norm's one of my heroes. So I'm sorry, Norm. I'm stomping on your grave. But he goes like, he's like,

and I was watching the news, you know, and you know, sometimes there's this, you know, guy giving you the news or woman. Like if he mentions like, you know, sometimes there's like a guy there or girl like acknowledging the eggshells and just leaning hard in it, but not making a comment. Just that was it, you know know and he just does stuff in such a deft elegant way and um he was he was uh mocking the idea that every everyone needs to like have a platform now for their cause you know and he's like look i know everyone's using you know comedy as their platform for their cause i my cause it's it is very important to me he's like I am against cannibalism and I know that you guys have probably made up your mind on cannibalism by now and there's nothing I can do to change

your mind but I am against it and then he goes but I'm not gonna make this my bully pulpit and it's just bizarre and hilarious and it's just so weird. And, you know, it's Norm. Yeah, he had such a bizarrely unique sense of humor. But it worked. You know, just from him it worked. Remember his Saget roast?

No. I don't watch roasts. This is Norm MacDonald. Why is that funny? That one was particular if I remember it too. That was a good one. It is because the roasts you know.

I mean it's Greg Gerall. I mean it's all of us writing perfect, airtight, the most offensive, brutal jokes you can tell on the planet. Which by the way, I think I'm going to do a couple roasts on OnlyFans. Really? Isn't that crazy? On OnlyFans? They asked me to do their first TV content thing. And I was like, God, you know what we can't do anymore?

Brutal roast jokes. You can't do them on network television. You're going to get in trouble. What if it was behind a paywall? What if instead of dirty pictures and dirty videos, it was dirty jokes that you can't tell anywhere? Oh. We'll see.

It could work. I'll talk to them about it. Dirty jokes you can't tell anywhere. Well, you kind of can tell jokes that are funny anywhere. Well, you know what it is? It's more like you're not going to get the blowback you would if it was just on Twitter or Instagram. There's no comment. There's a paywall.

So it's almost like a Patreon or something. It's like if you're coming here and then you say anything, you're just a snitch. You know what's bizarre about OnlyFans? They don't have a search section. We were reading this yesterday. We're reading about how many people are on OnlyFans since 2019 like I don't remember what the numbers were do you remember the numbers were 70,000 in 2019 to just over a million like in 2021 or something yeah so the pandemic created a lot of hoes they just need to get their

cash that's true I do it there's teachers making it and we don't pay teachers enough. If teachers go on OnlyFans and show their tits, like. I know, but isn't that like sad? Isn't it sad to make 30 grand a year? It is sad to make 30 grand a year. When you're teaching our next generation. But what I'm saying is, isn't it sad that that's how they have to make money?

I mean, yeah, I guess. It depends. I just watched this. Have you seen this documentary, The Most Hated Man on the Internet? No. Who is the most hated man on the internet? His name is Hunter Moore. I don't know.

Brandon Schaub just went like this. I remember this guy. I don't even want to get caught in these crosshairs. I don't even want to be close to this. Damn it. There wasn't. That was close. Oh, gosh. By the way, God was close. Oh, gosh. I've done, by the way, God damn it.

I just did Andrew Schultz's podcast. I did a bunch of podcasts in New York. And it was always like the countdown to when that was going to come up. And I'm glad we just got it out of the way real early. Okay. Listen, I love Brendan Shaw. We love him. He's my homie.

He's always going to be my, I don't care what dumb shit he says. I don't give a fuck. I love that guy to death. I'm a ride or die. The amount of backlash and shit I got when I started and had a show out was brutal. It was brutal. I didn't know you then. I met you at the Laugh Factory.

I remember I met you at the Laugh Factory. I had already been kicked out of the comedy store. And that that was it was during my time where I was doing other clubs. So it was somewhere around like 2007ish or something like that. Upstairs? I met you, I don't remember where I met you. You were like in the corner crying. Yeah, it's so weird to think that because I was at the comic store when you were not and you were still such a big presence there in a way that it's, because Ari was there. You know, it just was, I don't know.

I felt like I knew you maybe before I knew you. Yeah. That was a weird time. It was a weird time for you too because like there was a lot of people hating on you because of your show because it was so big. Like you had these giant billboards and your face was everywhere. That's just one of those things where that fucking green envy monster pops out of people and they get so mad. But it's also, I'm a comic.

I know what you're making fun of. If there was a show called Rita with some girl holding a beach ball, like, like being sassy. I would make fun of it too. It was like, you know, I was young and, and, you know, it's like as a comedian, you get an offer like that. How old were you when you got Whitney? 27. 27. Damn. That's crazy. You have your own show at 27. And I wanted to hire all my friends. I fought really hard, even though I had no power.

You know, I wrote the part for Chris D'Elia. I said, I don't want to do this without him. Not that I even had any of that power at the time. Of course, they want to cast these actors that have been on nine shows and that have been on a bunch of failed shows. You're like, why do I want someone that people have voted they don't want to see? What year was it that you started doing stand-up? 2004. So you were only doing stand-up

for a short period of time. How many years before you got your show? Six. That's wild. That's wild. I was doing the roast. I was a writer for the roast. And then I was on the roast and Comedy Central did not

I never got Premium Blend. I never got Gotham. I never got New Faces in Montreal, which really quick, just a joke that you might appreciate that I wrote for Joan Rivers at the Joan Rivers roast, but didn't tell. This is kind of an inside comedy thing. Joan Rivers has had so much work done on her face. Every year she books Montreal New Faces. has had so much work done on her face. Every year she books Montreal new faces. And so then I did the Joan Rivers roast and I did so well that Comedy Central

offered me a half hour and then I just was like, I want to do an hour. Because, you know, they said no to me so many times. Right, right. As soon as I had leverage, I just was like...

Right, use it. Fuck this As soon as I had leverage, I just was like. Right. Use it. Fuck this. Yeah. Because also then when when comedians complain about their clips being, you know, broken up on Instagram or their stand up being broken up. I always try to go like, remember when we were on Comedy Central and they would break up our specials seven minutes and then a four minute commercial and then five minutes. And then a four minute commercial and then five minutes, they would just arbitrarily break it up anywhere. And you only actually had 42 minutes to actually do stand up. Yeah. And your set was fucked up because like sometimes those bits would continue after the commercial break and people would forget what the fucking premises.

And if people were just tuning in, they had no idea. They didn't give a shit. They just shoved those commercials in there. I remember my it's like an Adam and Eve and you're like cool like i remember i used to my second comedy central special i remember trying to time it seven minutes punchline killer as and do like three mini sets with little closers instead of one big set yeah because of the way they would cut it up to be 27 and have your own show is so crazy crazy it's It's so, it's so like, so much pressure. That must have been like really overwhelming and weird.

Well, because I think at that point you think more is more in terms of press, publicity, that kind of stuff. Yeah, just keep doing it. Do it all. But it's also, I didn't realize how, you know, it's interesting the way that, you know, whether it's our business or just people in general, they look at comedians as kind of these children that need to be babysat instead of these mature adults that have gone all around the country and, you know, comported ourselves. Actually, we act like silly gooses sometimes, but we really have our shit together. It's what we do is not easy.

So going in and when they were making the billboards and stuff, I was like, you guys, this is this looks like a cheesy sitcom from the 80s. This looks like Veronica's Closet. This looks like a Fran Drescher show from the 80s. It was like because it was multicam, it was like purple font. And I didn't know what I was doing. They do those photo shoots with you and they're like, you know, make this face. Like do this.

And I'm like, me, me. And I was like painted as like the finger wagging, like annoying girlfriend. Oh, no. But the show was like a role reversal. It was about me, someone who had come from three divorces and was actually commitment phobic, but in love with someone and trying to figure out how to like, you know, like someone who's kind of feral, trying to be domesticated to be in a normal relationship. And, you know, and it was people loved it.

They couldn't get past the multicam of it. It was, people loved it. They couldn't get past the multicam of it. And which is weird because I feel like multicam is so respected in one way. Cheers. Well, explain to people what that means. It means you did it in front of a live audience. Sure.

Like when you shoot show in front of live studio audience, Roseanne. So who couldn't get past that? What do you mean they couldn't get past that? I think people would just, were so mad that I like existed that they couldn't. It was like, well, that's a laugh track. They were mad that you existed. Maybe. That's interesting. So it's just who are these people?

I don't know. Like critics or other comics? Like, what do you know? It was I think I also it was a multi. I did two multi camps that year shows in front of a live studio audience. The Whitney Show and then Two Broke Girls. Two Broke Girls was on CBS.

It was beloved and ended up going for six seasons. That was a show that had other multi-cams, Two and a Half Men, Big Bang Theory, Mike and Molly. So that was kind of- So the network was already sort of set up for that. And anyone watching that network is already kind of- King, Queens. Yeah.

I followed The Office and community on oh i see so they were used to single cam things being shot kind of like a movie i think the inside cool kids club was like what's this like i got news for you that club sucks and those people that are in that club are all cunts the The Inside Cool Kids Club, those are assholes pretending to not be assholes. They're douchebags pretending to be kind and considerate. And the irony is it's a lot of Harvard guys. It's like Harvard Lampoon guys.

Well, some of the best writers. I've met a lot of great writers from Harvard. It's kind of amazing how many good, like a lot of the guys from NewsRadio were Harvard guys. Oh, interesting. That Lampoon thing, right? Well, they're just, you know, really smart guys who became, you know, that you got sort of ushered into this group. And it was a great way to like use that intellect and that love of comedy and comedy writing.

And it was already a clearly established path. Paul Sims had come through there and all these different... And when they came through, there was other ones that had already paved the path. It was like, oh, I'll just go on to write for sitcoms. And then, hey, this guy's really funny. We'll hire him. He was also in The Lampoon. But you're not better than me because you went to Harvard. We're both telling dick jokes.

We're both doing dick jokes here, guys. You know, I mean, that is always a part of Harvard, right? A part of Ivy League education is that some people are going to feel like they're elite. Which is fine if you're doing elite work, but there's a lot of people that were just not, but they had the attitude. Weren't you taking classes in a building that had Epstein etched on the top? Didn't Harvard have Epstein money? Did he?

Yeah. Did he donate? Well, in the science, yeah. Well, he definitely donated some money to science, you know, but I had a conversation with a scientist who didn't buy into that Epstein stuff and wouldn't go to the meetings and stuff like that. And he said he was really shocked at how little money he actually donated.

Interesting. Yeah, he goes, it wasn't that much money. He goes, it was really like he was more than that he was bringing them to parties. Like it was an intelligence operation. Whoever was running it, whether it was the Mossad or whether it was the CIA or whether it was a combination of both, it was an intelligence operation.

They were bringing in people and compromising them. And then when they would compromise them, they would use, you know, whatever they had on them to influence their opinions and the way they express those opinions. And I don't know why they would want to do that with scientists, which is really strange to me. Epstein's like, I need you to do a study about how 15 year old girls are adults. They're more mature than we thought. But if a scientist donates, I'm sorry, if a rich person donates to a scientist, do they have any ability to weigh in? Or they're just like, here's a, I get no decisions about how this money's spent. It's a very good question.

I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I would imagine the money goes, like, if you have a research grant, right, and say, say like you're working on a cure for leukemia or something like that, you know, you find established scientists that are working on this thing and then you allocate money so that they can work on projects. Whether or not the person who donates the money has any influence on how that money is spent, I doubt it. I highly doubt it. I don't think legitimate scientists would adhere to that. Allow that, yeah. Because, I mean, I know that just my, you know,

if you're shooting an independent movie that has investors, Russian investors, Saudi investors, like you have to hang out with them. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Oh, boring. They're at Vino Village. Like it's kind of the, it's like you have to flirt with them.

Here it says, Epstein regularly visited, had card key access to, and was provided a designated office space within the program in evolutionary dynamics until 2018. So that means they gave him that at Harvard after he had been arrested for fucking underage girls. Had an office. Yeah. Granting him that level of access raises serious questions about the compliance with Harvard's policies. And beginning in 2017 about whether or not the professor Nowak acted in deliberate circumvention of Harvard security procedures.

So he was arrested and he already did time by then, which is crazy. It's also like at first I was like, oh, God, he was on campus with all these like girls. How scary. But they were probably too old for him. So look at this here. Harvard University said Friday that convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein donated more than $9 million to the university over the course of a decade and had an office on campus after his 2006 arrest. Nope.

So he was arrested in 2006 and then after that up until 2018 still had an office there. That is why old. But here's the thing, whatever he was doing, and I don't know why he was doing it, you know, and no one knows now that he's dead, but he had a lot of scientists that he was tight with. And that was one of the things that he did was bring these scientists to that island and he would have young girls on that island. But like, what's the end goal there? This is what I don't understand. And what's really crazy is Ghislaine Maxwell is in a minimum security prison.

She is allowed to do yoga. She's allowed to hang out and watch TV. She's watched Netflix. Is she allowed to use email to send us the list? That's what I was going to say. The list has not been released. Like, there is a fucking list. And this is not a mystery. There's not a mystery

to the people that are prosecuting her. There's her hippocampus. Pull out her hippocampus. Have Elan put that freaking thought reading. Elan? Who's that? Is that Elan's brother? Elan shit. Sorry.

No. You know what? I've been friends with Elan Gold for so long. Oh, Elan Gold. Elan. Well, Elan Gold probably can do an impression of Elan Moss. So there you go. Elan Gold does amazing impressions.

He used to call me and prank me as other people all the time. And one time he called me as Jeff Goldblum and I was like busy and I was like, stop fucking bothering me, dude. And I kept hanging up on him. And then like an hour later, it was actually Jeff Goldblum. He's like, oh, this is actually me. Can you stop hanging up on me? So random. But let me ask you, is it something as insane as this? Because what's more profitable than, you know, new cutting edge science, whether it's a, you know, a prescription, whether it's a finding, whether it's a something like does he if he donates to some kind of scientific discovery that's going to be lucrative down the line, a pill, a medicine, a cure. Does he get any kind of power over it or money from it? Well, some of these scientists were string theory physicists. Like they're not inventing shit. Okay.

Like, some of the stuff that they were working on is like this very bizarre, I mean, theoretical stuff. I don't know how that's applicable to anything financial. I mean, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm missing a connection.

I was going to say, if you donate to University of Austin and they discover, to the cancer research and they discover the cure for cancer and you donate it, you should get. Get a piece. A little piece of that. A little back end of that. Nice little taste.

You probably do. I mean, they definitely have that with some medical inventions, you know. So I digressed about, so this guy Trevor Moore, did you remember there was a site called Are You Up? Is anyone up? Is anyone up? Is this the most hated man on the Internet? Well, that's what the documentary is called on Netflix. Oh, right, right, right.

And he would like right in the wild, wild west days of the Internet before the laws caught up with what was going on. He would take photos of girls like anything crazy it was kind of like the first like 4chan or 8chan don't you think it was a definitely a blog that people went to a lot and revenge porn oh it was revenge porn but then it it sort of escalated into sex with animals and oh crazy stuff with animals and there's a girl in it who's being interviewed it's it's i'm just laughing because it is ridiculous. Even the girl in the documentary, she has a little look in her eye when she says it.

She's like, hi, I'm butthole girl. Butthole girl? Like she put something in her butt. Oh. And then he put the photo up and then she had kids. So she's like, can you please get it down? And then he was this is the Marine that took him down

and then you know who else took him down Anonymous I love Anonymous but so that's his ex-girlfriend but he said put a phone in your butt and I'm going to call it and video yourself with a phone ringing in your butt how does she get a phone in her butt it's on

there and then... What kind of phone are we talking about? Like a Nokia? I'm thinking it must have been a flip phone. Razor phone? I had a little one back in the day that was like a candy bar phone. Yeah, it feels like it's like a Cricut wireless.

Some of them were pretty small. Some of them I can imagine going in your butt. Some of the early ones. But, well, because then he was like, put your fist in your butt. Oh. Escalated, escalated. Your whole fist? Yeah, it's not great. It's not ideal. How do you get back there? It's a great question. Some people are flexible. At least we know why this life is so big.

It might be a front way. No, that's not going to work. That might be the only way. Here's the other thing. This is something else that's nuts. He would tell his followers, like, punch yourself in the face. He would dare his followers to do crazy stuff and film it, and then he'd put it on the site. There's videos of people just, like, punching themselves in the face.

It's so hard to watch. But what he had been doing was he was intercepting photos of girls guys the private photos from their emails posting it with their address their workplace and the kink for him it wasn't just like porn or sex that was like they were getting off on the fact that these people hadn't consented to posting it so it's like you can find plenty of people that want to have their stuff online only fans and whatever but like it But like, it's kind of an interesting, it's worth watching. Some guy just got arrested because he was running a porn site. And he was like promising these girls that he was not going to put it online.

And he filmed like a hundred girls having sex and promised them that he wasn't going to put them online and put it all online. I feel like as soon as... You know what I'm talking about? Somebody sent it to me. It's one of my daily email updates, so I definitely have it. And then he put it on like a porn hub or something? Yeah, something like that. Something like that.

But were they just having sex with him just to make a fun sex tape? I think he paid them. I'm not exactly sure. I'll tell you in a moment. But it's, you know. But it's interesting because back then, I was watching it as... You finding it? I found an article on Fox about it.

But I remember the time that you came up to me after a set at the store. Yeah, Pornside owner coerced 100 women to film videos he said wouldn't be posted online. Yeah. Oh, would this be maybe like that backroom couch guy?

Yeah. I don't know how bad it is, but I don't just. Those are a lot of people's favorites. The ones that are. The couch ones. They're like, I've never done this before. Had sex on a shitty couch? No, no, no, no.

Shot backstage at Flappers Comedy Club? Like, have you ever done porn? No. And then next thing you know they're blowing a guy on film what's with the stepbrother thing i'll tell you what that is please first of all it's the pandemic everybody had to get stuck inside and because everyone's stuck inside like say say if you and i were married and you had a 17 year old sonold son and I had a 17-year-old daughter and we just got married and they're not related to each other. And all of a sudden they're in the house together. Yep. That's the premise.

Except the 17-year-olds are really in their fucking 20s and they're porno stars. Isn't there? That's what it is. It's like my dad told me that you're supposed to be my sister, but you don't fucking seem like my sister. Well, you just helped me load this laundry into the fucking dryer. Oh my God, I'm stuck. Stuck porn's different stuff.

Stuck? No, no, no. There's a lot of stuck porn with stepdaughters. Well, yeah, yeah, but- You combine the genres. Okay, okay. Why is it so confusing to you? I think, I mean, it's hard to get stuck in a dryer unless you're Brad Williams.

Well, I was watching this girl get stuck under a bed. I'm like, bitch, you are not stuck. I see all this air underneath your stomach. You are pretending you're stuck so you can get fucked. You're a fucking idiot. You're trying to get fucked. That's so dumb. Your ass is straight up in the air.

I know what you're doing. I'm not dumb. That reminded me of Liam Neeson Under the bed for Taken Remember when he was under the bed giving the speech Of Taken like I have a very specific set of skills He was under the bed when he said that Also have you seen all the pictures

Of Liam Neeson pissing himself Joe Why is he pissing himself is it hammered Is that what it is Jamie I haven't seen it it is it was brought to my attention on my podcast recently

by a guest that Liam Neeson there's many photos of him pissing many having pissed his it's shocking so he just pisses himself a lot

I think he just gets drunk and pisses himself damn do you see him dude it's shocking well why aren't you showing us Jamie I was trying to find a good version to show you there's so many I thought it was going to be one or two there's Dude, it's shocking. Well, why aren't you showing us, Jimmy? I was trying to find a good version to show you.

There's so many. I thought it was going to be one or two. There's so many. It's... Unapologetic pants pissing a thread. It's... What? Dude, it's wild.

Because, guys, I know after you pee, there's sometimes a little dot of pee. No, that's a lot of piss. Dude, it's wild. He just does this a lot? He looks hammered every time, though. So how does he piss all over himself all the time? Is that his thing? There's four pictures.

He's got a leaky dick? If you go on just images and do Liam Neeson pisses himself, it's everywhere. Really? It's brutal. Fascinating. Isn't that... Wouldn't you know? Wouldn't you feel it?

Maybe he doesn't give a fuck. Maybe. It's pretty gangster. you know when you feel it? Maybe he doesn't give a fuck. Maybe. It's pretty gangster. Maybe it's Liam Neeson. He doesn't give a fuck. I mean, it's. Oh, Jesus. There's a lot of pictures of him with piss all over his dick.

And it's also like no one around him is. Gotta wear dark pants. Protecting him. Protecting him. Or it could be some troll online that is taking all these photos of Liam Neeson and putting little piss stains. That's what I thought of at first. There's too many, I think. There's too many. No, there's not too many. Or it could be some troll online that is taking all these photos of Liam Neeson and putting little piss stains. That's what I thought of at first.

There's too many, I think. There's too many. No, there's not too many. That's correct and correct. Well, some fucking guy on Reddit is just like dosing up these pictures. So what's going to happen in terms of that? Like, is there ever going to be evidence, photo evidence again? Or will you have to show metadata to prove that a photo hasn't been altered? There's no way in 10 years from now, there's no way you're going to know whether or not

that's a video of you. There's no way. I mean, there's 100% like celebrity porn now that has not been shot with that actual celebrity. That's already been done, right? We were talking about Tom Cruise earlier. I'm sure you've seen the deep fake, the guy with Tom Cruise that does Tom Cruise. Have you seen it? Yes, yes, yes.

It's incredible. I mean, you cannot believe that's not really Tom Cruise. And this is just the beginning. I mean, this is just what we're at now is this is just introductory technology. What it's going to be in a few years from now, it will be CGI rendered and impossible to detect. You'll be able to watch celebrities do things that aren't even actually being done. Like right now, you can take a girl and you could put a celebrity woman's face on that girl and that girl would do porn. And it looks like a celebrity is doing porn.

Right. But in the future, you're going to be able to watch an artificial version of that person do everything. Commit murder, fuck herself with a cross. There will be no person that has actually done it. But that uncanny valley between artificial CGI rendered images and what we know to be real images, where your mind can discern the difference, that'll be gone in 10 years. But do you think that laws are going to catch up at some point

and that it's going to become so illegal? Some dad is going to lose... I mean, this is where dads step in. It's unmanageable. But this is when a bunch of dads go, oh, my daughter is doing porn she never did. Right. Some law is going to be passed.

Because right now, if you leak a celebrity photo, I mean, the person that leaked, I guess, Scarlett Johansson is the person that retaliated. He went to jail for eight years for just releasing a nude photo. So, you know, maybe if the punishment is severe enough, people will be deterred from doing it. I don't know. Who's the girl from Hunger Games? Jennifer Lawrence. Yeah, a bunch of her stuff got leaked, right? Yeah. People got in trouble for that. Yeah. I mean, as they should. And the interesting thing about it is it doesn't feel like it hurt her in

any way. Because if you admit you looked at it, you're kind of the weirdo. So it's like no one will really admit if they looked at it. Well, it's one thing if you do porn on purpose. And it's another thing if you do something in the privacy of your own home and it gets leaked. Like this is the Kim Kardashian dilemma. Because like like did she leak that or did that get leaked you know because if she was doing or was she leaking purpose sorry we'll just call it liam neeson if she if she leaked it on purpose then it's like okay well are you a porn star? Like, what are you doing? But if it gets leaked, like, I can't believe this. This is crazy. Like, then you're a victim.

And it's okay. So you came up to me at the comedy store once, and I had done the bit about my boob getting leaked. Remember that bit that I did? It's in my special. Yes. I talked about my, I took, I was on edibles in my bathtub one night. Fucking idiot. I can't do edibles, Joe.

I can't, I can't, I don't have the personality for it. I'm too neurotic. So I'm in the bathtub. I'm so high that I'm like, let me make an Instagram story. Let me talk to my followers. Like, I'm like, hey guys. Hey, are you ever in the bathtub? Isn't this crazy? Like, just, guys. Hey. Are you ever in the bathtub? Isn't this crazy?

Like, just dumb. Right. And then I get out. And then I go to, like, check it because I'm just so high. You know when you post something, you're like, I want to see if it's going to get in the algorithm. Whenever I open it, there's, like, 15 missed calls since my friends are like, I had just videoed my tit. Like, just a crazy person uploaded it on the instagram story like a nut and then i took it down and then like a couple months later before i had my that last special coming out on

netflix i got an email where someone said um if you don't pay me fifteen thousand dollars i'll sell this photo of your boobs to a tabloid and it was um a screen grab of that video like someone had screen grabbed it before i took it down you know and it was just it was more like for me like i'm making light of it. Like no one should be okay with this. Like I felt like in a weird way, like, oh, maybe the universe like gave me this problem to talk about because I'm fine. Like of all the things of mine on the internet, that's the least embarrassing.

Like I have a, I have a lot of, you know, sets from random shows that, you know, would be way more embarrassing. Some sets from the ice house. Way more pornographic. 15 years ago be way more embarrassing some sets from the Ice House way more pornographic 15 years ago way more pornographic dude um

yeah I like I always like to me the only thing that I was really embarrassed of in my cloud

were all the screen grabs of inspirational quotes like that's the shit you have got to delete like when you go through your phone

when a hacker has it and you're like oh god, God, all these screen grabs of David Goggins. Like this is embarrassing. And and so I didn't pay him. I ended up just posting it myself and making a joke out of it. And then Bert posted his balls and it was just comedians. We were able to make jokes about it, you know. And but I can see how it it didn't feel super violating to me because I think I kind of violate myself for a living a little bit, you know, as a performer. It's just not something that I, you know, feel precious about.

And I don't have to worry about getting a job or getting into a school and some Googling me and seeing something that's going to ruin my reputation. It's already ruined. Well, it's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. Yeah. I mean, it's certainly not a big deal to you. What did I say to you? Oh, you just said you were like, that was really funny. Oh, okay.

Because I really want to make sure that it didn't feel preachy or luxury. Nah. You know, I just want it to be funny, but also go like, this is a fucked up thing that happened. No, you're pretty self-aware of that. You're not really a person that ever comes off as preachy or luxury. You're real self-aware of not falling into that trap which is so important for some people but you know again i say it again because you've you have a podcast and because like anything that you want to talk about that's like a serious issue you're not under the constraints of being funny like when you take a serious issue and you want to discuss it on stage

in a comedy club boy that's a project you know it can be done but also you could fall into this trap like Lenny Bruce did where in the later stages of his life he was just reading off legal transcripts on stage because he had like important things that he needed to talk about he didn't have a podcast and I think there's also a way to do it you know that's look I just I get very simple about it I get i think sometimes the hardest thing is you know the smartest thing is to just get really simple and go like okay if i was going to a hardware store and i want to buy hammer and they only had oranges i'd be like what the fuck guys like it's like someone's coming to a comedy club you're a comedian yeah you've you have promised them laughs. You have promised them you're going to forget about your problems.

Right. I have promised you, and you're paying me money for an hour of uncontrollable laughter. Right. And if bringing up politics, bringing up, like, you know, it's just not conducive to, unless you fucking have it so honed, unless they're prepared to see a political comedian, whether it's Marr or whoever, but, like, you better really make sure that you're not dividing people and upsetting people when they pay attention. But even Mar, when Mar delivers his political comedy, it's always comedy. Always.

Always. It's always in comedy joke form. The people that want to do that sort of TED Talk type thing, I mean, it's one thing if you're doing it in a theater and people come to see you if you're like a Hannah Gadsby talk yeah do a TED talk do you like Hannah Gadsby like that's not a TED talk she's doing but but they already know now she did her Netflix special they know what kind of comedy she does that's great but at a comedy club if they don't know you or if you're a one on a lineup and you want to do that that's nuts yeah it's like you're doing a thing that's not supposed to be done in that place. I just look, and I know that there's a, and I don't mean to bring gender into it because

I don't see gender. You don't see it at all? I'm joking. No, that was a total joke. I can help you see it. That was a joke. But I do have to tell you this LA story in a second. But, oh, because I am on, I got a rabies vaccine.

You did? I'm on my third shot of a rabies vaccine. Why? Because a raccoon ran up my leg. Oh, that's right. Oh, you were telling me about that. A raccoon. So did the raccoon have rabies?

Unclear. The raccoon was hanging in a tree after it ran up my leg. It looked like it was sleeping maybe. And then it was walking very slowly, which is very out of character for a raccoon behavior although I do think more and more people are going to die from wild animals because they're watching Instagram and TikTok and you can find any dangerous animal like snuggling up with a human like I definitely have seen videos of people like friends with raccoons they have a pet raccoon and I'm like maybe raccoons are nice like stupid idiot and um it ran up on my leg the next day it's acting weird I call animal control and I'm like

hey guys I think I have like a raccoon issue here this is classic California animal control she goes well it's probably just sleeping and I was like I was like okay I know but it's up it's like in a tree it just looks weird she goes um well yeah well that's where they live and I was like, OK, I know, but it's up. It's like in a tree. It just looks weird. She goes, well, yeah, well, that's where they live. And I was like, no, I know that. And she's like, well, I'm not going to remove an animal from its home. is that a lot of people in LA, they are testing their cocaine for fentanyl. And if it tests positive, they're flushing it down the toilet. So we're having a lot of cases of animals that we think are just on fentanyl.

What? So they flush it down the toilet and then it goes through into the water. But how does it get to the animal? The animal drinks the toilet water? They seem to think this is a common thing. I don't know if it's in the L.A. River or in the L.A. water supply. It might be really

dumb, undereducated people answering the phones. That's probably true also. Yeah. That's probably true also. But a lot of people in L.A. everyone that I've heard, if they're going to do cocaine, which if you're testing your cocaine go call your dad. Get that

apology you needed. Go back to one like if you're like sitting around at a club like putting a strip in cocaine and being like all right guys we have to wait 20 minutes like you're like take a good hard look in the mirror yeah and then they wait and if it's positive for fentanyl they're like well we can't do this but those are the last people that want to take a look in the mirror yeah Yeah. People doing coke. Yeah, dude. If you're still, I know so many people now are like, yeah, I have to test my cocaine. I'm like, you're 48. Like, what are you doing with two kids?

Like, it's Tuesday. Like, what are you doing? Do Adderall like an adult. There's a lot of people out here that do coke. There's a lot of people out here that are like, they party sort of like extra hard because they don't feel legit they don't feel like they're connected to new york or la so they kind of have to like extra hard party out here like there's wife swappers out here there's a lot of freaky shit going on

out here you also got all those tech dorks tech dorks the tech dorks are everywhere nobody fucked them for 34 years and they've got a shitload of money. Then maybe roll your jeans down, guys. And women will fuck you. I don't think they need to. They roll their jeans up. They can roll them all the way up, all the way up past their knees when they have that kind of money. Why are you wearing red wing work boots?

Because it's hot. You work in an app. It's hot. You know what else is wild to me? I was talking about there was a guy on the plane next to me and he's in finance here in Austin. And I was like, yeah, the tech dorks are everywhere. And he was like, yeah, the vibe of the tech dorks is hard to explain.

I was like, there is an arrogance that's like, we're better than you, we're part of, you know, we're super progressive and we're like, you know, these future heroes, we're doing all this tech, but all you're doing is working in a bunch of apps that like take people's data. Like you can't, you know what I'm saying? This whole thing, but all you're doing is working in a bunch of apps that take people's data. You know what I'm saying? This whole thing that you think you're heroes, but you don't even understand what your boss's goals are.

TikTok has an office here. We read the terms of service the other day. I did see that. Me and Theo did, and it made it to the front page of Fox News. I did see that. I did see that. The fucking terms of service are insane. Well, here's the other thing, and I say this as someone that uses the aura band and the whoop band.

But I'm like also like, well, that's like collecting our breaths and our sleep. And, you know, I'm like 23 and me collected your DNA. But that I would argue, you know, they found serial killers with that. Like, oh, did they? Yeah. They found the Golden State killer. Isn't it? That's how they found them. So wasn't that Patton Osw, did they? Yeah. They found the Golden State Killer. Isn't it? That's how they found him?

Wasn't that Patton Oswalt's wife? Yes. His wife had written a book about the Golden State Killer. Basically, they couldn't find him. He was at large. His niece or something took a 23andMe test, having no idea. And then they were able to go arrest him. DNA from genealogy site used to catch suspected Golden State Killer.

DNA from genealogy site used to catch suspected Golden State killer Joseph James D'Angelo, 72, former police officer, was arrested on Tuesday. Oh boy. Is that, what, 50 years later? More than three decades after his trail went cold, one of California's most prolific killers and rapists was caught using online genealogical sites to find a DNA match, prosecutors say. Investigators compared the DNA collected from a crime scene of the Golden State Killer to online genetic profiles and found a match, a relative of the man police have identified

as Joseph James D'Angelo. Isn't that nuts? Wow. Because it's tricky because people will be like, you't do 23andme they're going to take your data it's like I'd rather them have my email than serial killers be loose you know yeah yeah definitely but the problem

is like what are they going to do with that data there's a thing that just came out recently that they're going to be able to target specific individuals for assassination by using a genetic weapon that is geared entirely towards your DNA. That's fucked.

The day where- Yeah, look at this. Oof. The day where if you're allergic to peanuts or something and I can just walk by you on a plane and throw peanuts on your plate or something. So hold up that. 23andMe sold your genetic data to GlaxoSmithKline. Click on that.

What the fuck? So that's wild. And GlaxoSmithKline is a? Pharmaceutical company. Oy, boy. That's the pharmaceutical company that got sued for ReEquip. Do you know the ReEquip story? No.

ReEquip was a drug. I think it was for parkinson's disease i think that's what it was for and this guy got on it and it rewired his fucking brain so hard he became a gay sex and gambling junkie he was a married heterosexual man got on this stuff and all he wanted to do was suck cock and roll dice This is this is why it's crazy is because like this guy was like he was like Meeting up with people he didn't even know and fucking them He was like he called total loss of impulse control and crazy desires to do gay stuff What's nuts about this like you're saying?, well, God, maybe it's just an excuse. Maybe the guy was gay and was ashamed and the drug releases inhibitions.

No. He was into ancient Greek culture. Right. He won in court. They paid him the equivalent. I think it was an Irish court. They paid him the equivalent of $600,000. Oh, it was a French man.

Parkinson's patient has been urged to stop urged not to stop taking their medication. Keep rolling the dice and keep sucking those dicks. Because it emerged that a French man won a six-figure payout over a drug that turned him into a gay sex and gambling addict. Let me just, hold on. Hold on. There are some, sorry for the pun, there are some holes in this story. Like he was repelled by women's buttholes? I don't know what happened.

This feels like. Dopamine agonists, such as ReEquip, will develop some form of this distressing behavior, which can range from compulsive gambling to binge eating and hypersexuality. which can range from compulsive gambling to binge eating and hypersexuality. A GSK spokesman said, ReEquip is a dopamine agonist used to treat patients with the chronic and progressive neurodegenerative condition Parkinson's disease, for which there is only a small number of treatments available. It directly stimulates dopamine receptors in the brain and acts as a replacement for dopamine, which is deficient in certain parts of the brain in patients with Parkinson's disease.

Pathological gambling and increased libido and hypersexuality have been reported in patients treated with dopamine medicines. These reports are uncommon when compared to the number of people treated with these medicines. Prescribing and patient information for re-equip provides information on compulsive behaviors. So this guy, whatever, they had to pay him. I thought it was a lot more money than that. They're saying it is 197,000 euros. I'm pretty sure I read that it was the financial equivalent

to 600,000 American dollars. Do you enjoy gambling? No. I'm not a gambler. I mean, I enjoy it a little bit. When we went out with you to Vegas, my wife and I did some gambling. Did you? Yeah, but we just got bored.

We were just playing blackjack. We both suck. Do you feel like there's any, like, what is the skill? Like, I dated a guy who's a poker player, and, like, a lot of it is being able to just kind of read people and act. You're kind of acting the whole time, right, if you're really playing. Well, Ari's a really good poker player. That makes sense. Ari used to actually, when he was first becoming a comedian in L.A., he would make his living by playing in poker tournaments.

Cool. And he made money. Like, he would win poker tournaments and place and cash and poker tournaments It's a skill like you you have to know when to hold and when to fold and you you know To know what to do is based on, you know theory It's based on the amount of people that have done it that have been successful There's many books on it and many online things on it But it's so it's a certain amount of it is based on intuition as well.

Right. Being able to, like, feel other people's. Yeah, but, like, Ari would go to, like, the bicycle club, those places, like, Bellflower. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A bunch of degenerates. Bicycle's Casino. Yeah, I mean, my friend used to go down there all the time,

really creative dude, produced my special with me, Nick Curzon, and he's brilliant, and he would go down there, and he was like, I don't know if I'm addicted to the game or the conversations. Because the people are so damn. You're sitting with people that are just. Degenerous. Yeah. Yeah. And it's three in the morning and it's like people have been in jail and everyone's a Joey Diaz.

Like, what's better than that? I'm like, I get that. No, degenerates are fun people. Yeah. They're very fun. The best. It's just one of those things. It's like it does something to your brain that for some people you could just walk away,

but for other people they are fucking hooked. I spent a lot of time in my early 20s in pool halls, and I was around a lot of degenerate gamblers. And I did some gambling, but I was never like a degenerate. I was always like, I was never like a degenerate I was always like I was gambling because it was exciting I'll play like a set for a hundred bucks or something like that like a race to 10 for 100 bucks it's fun and you don't want to lose so it makes things more exciting but it was never like now I got a bet on the the football game now I have to bet on

this I saw guys betting money on droplets of rain that were making it down a window pane and they would pick each droplet they would pick a droplet and they would put money on it what's the biological basis for that because that is something i feel like we all kind of do thrills it's just thrills it's just thrills trying to predict trying to constrict because it's like uh the same thing like when um i do that like when you leave a restaurant and you're with your friends and you just look at each other and just race. What is that? Why did we do that?

It's so dumb. Well, that's just being silly. There's no consequences there. But I know people, like there's this guy, a famous pool player. His name is Alex Paguline. World-class pool player. Famously will win tournaments or win like a big match and then flip a coin for the money.

So he wins. Like he plays pool for hours and hours and hours, days at a time. He'll win $10,000, $20,000. And then someone will say, I'll flip you for the 20. And he's like, okay, let's do it. And they flip and he calls heads and lands on tails. He loses everything. So everything that went into it was work and earned.

Now I want to defer to luck. Yeah, there was a real problem with pool players when they would have pool tournaments in casinos because these guys would win the money, and they'd go straight to the casino and lose the money. Like, they were just gambling addicts. Because a lot of pool players, the way they make money is they get a backer. So, like, a backer would be like you. You got some money, and you say, hey, let's gamble. I'll give you X amount of money, and I'll go with you, and you play somebody for the money.

So you would put up the $5,000, and then another person on the other side would put up the other $5,000, and you'd play. And that's how a lot of pool players make money is gambling. Gambling is, there's not a lot of money in professional pool. So a lot of the pool players wind up being what we call a road player. You know what I like about that is I am better at whatever I'm doing if I know someone else will lose something if I fail. So like playing sports growing up, it was always like I was very good at shooting free throws because it was always if you miss this free throw, your whole team runs suicides. That's interesting. Which is like when it's just between me and me, I'm like, ah, it's fine.

But if I know you're going to lose something, I do very well with that kind of pressure, knowing I'll disappoint someone or they'll have to suffer in some way if I fail. That makes sense. Yeah, that also makes sense considering your childhood, you know, that you like that having some like having the support of others is very important to you. Yes. Yeah. Having chosen family in by support. You know, I think that as I get older, you know, as we all do, I like redefining what friend means, what family means. But also like it doesn't mean everyday support. I don't even talk to someone on the phone every day. Some of my closest friends I see once a month and we text, you know, there's just I think it's more about feeling like there's people around me that share my reality, that see the same things I see.

Because we're in a place where it's like sometimes people that you love and trust and respect, they're like brainwashed by something. And you're like, how? You know, just people that share your reality, which I think is being able to corroborate your reality. Because I think when you grow up in a, you know, whether alcoholic home, chaotic home, everyone has, you question your own sanity a lot because everyone tells you, calm down, you're not seeing what you're seeing, relax,

you're being dramatic, you know. right right right the narcissists and the borderlines need to make you dramatic and overly sensitive in order to justify their behavior or exonerate themselves from guilt whatever it is right so i think that's what we do on stage too we go out and we go like this is and everyone's like yes we we have that too. We think that also. You're right. That's true. You know? So I think that feeling of like, okay, I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy.

I'm not imagining that is sort of a very anesthesia, anesthetic. And how does that relate to gambling? How'd you get there? That's a great question. Having me on your show is always a gamble you went you went to the support of others because i said that i get why the free throw would be so important for you to make because of the support of others the people financing the pool yeah the pool players like if i let someone down i'll i'll be bad yeah but a lot of pool players are not like that unfortunately.

They're the opposite. What it would be is like usually like some guy owns like a tire company or something like that and he wants a thrill and so he'll take some guy on the road with him and oftentimes they'll dump. They'll make a deal like the pool player will make a deal with the other guy and say listen I'll lose

you know you give me X amount of dollars and we'll split the money. That way you don't have to worry about whether or not you're going to win or going to lose. You give me X amount of dollars and we'll split the money. That way you don't have to worry about whether or not you're going to win or going to lose. You're definitely going to win. What's the most money you can make as a pool player? Well, people have played pool for a million dollars. One game? No, they usually play a set. But yeah, there's been a lot of poker players who uh play reasonably well like not like professional level and they'll get like a giant handicap to play a pool player like a handicap would be like do you know what nine ball is you know how nine ball works nine balls a rotational game it

means like um you play one through nine you make the nine ball in and you win. But say if you played and I played and you didn't play that good, I could say, I will give you the five out. That means I have to run all the balls and I have to make the nine ball to win, but you can make the five ball to win, the six ball to win, the seven ball to win, the eight ball to win, or the nine ball. So you have all these opportunities to win. So all you have to do is make a ball on the break and get all the balls in up to the five ball and you win. I have to make all the balls and the nine ball much, much harder. So that would be a way that you would get a poker player to play with you. Like say if I was a professional and I had some guy who was a poker

player and he wanted to gamble and he's like, make fair game and I said okay I'll give you the 5 out and the breaks which means you get to break every game and you only have to make the 5 or the 6, the 7 or the 8 and the 9. You can make any of them and you win. You have all these winning balls where I only have

one winning ball. My ball is the 9 ball. It's a giant advantage. You know what I had not played before and I was Tim Dillon rented a place in Malibu, and we went out there. And there was a giant chess game. It was more sort of for decoration, like huge, like the size of this table, a big, with chess pieces this big. And we played chess. It was so fun.

Chess is fun. Yeah. It was like 45 minutes passed, and it had been like it was five minutes. And I am currently trying to take on new hobbies because chess is your new well no i'm just like auditioning new hobbies instead of the fucking just scrolling the fucking screen all day and just you know getting dumber and by the minute just things that are mind challenging but fun and chess is right up there well the great one of the great things about chess is there's a lot of programs you can play on your phone where it'll tell you what the right move is so you could ask it what the right move is or you could just try it I get

it'll give you like there's learning and tutorial modes and you can you can try different moves and strategies but chess is insanely and infinitely complex it's it really i think also you know i think it's important to know your mind i know that sounds a little crazy but don't spend too much time in it but know it like know what depletes you know what energizes you know if you're a reckless person know if you're the kind of person that um you know chickens out at the last minute or questions yourself whatever it is you know and it helped me sort of illuminate a couple things about my own brain i was like oh i didn't trust my gut on that i overthought it have you seen the queen's gambit no i'm dying to see it show it's a great show and it's actually a show that was

written the original book was written by Walter Tevis. Walter Tevis is the guy who wrote The Hustler, which is that famous movie with Jackie Gleason and Paul Newman about a pool hustler. So he's been writing about people that are awesome at games. What was the other chess movie, Bobby Fischer? Yeah, Searching for Bobby Fischer. Searching for Bobby Fischer. Yeah. Are there, I was thinking about this last night when I was watching Top Gun, is are there certain video games that make you better in real life at things at this point?

Oh yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Like chess, pool, is there one like you could actually practice on a video game or practice on a phone and that translates to skill in real life? No. Not like physical games like pool? No. Maybe chess.

I think chess does. Because chess in physical form, like moving pieces, is no different than chess with a video game. Yeah. It's the same thing. It's just moving the piece. Yeah, you're just learning to play things out. Yeah, you're just trying, you're just learning how the pieces move. And I mean, I'm sure there's intimidation by being across the play.

Like if you were really good and I was playing you I'd be intimidated maybe I'd fuck up because I'd be nervous but pool is a game of execution that's why it's so intriguing to me right because it's not it's not just a game of knowing what to do it's a game of being able to control your nerves that's what I love that's why I love archery and bow hunting. That's why I love martial arts. I love when the shit goes down. Yep. That's what I like. I like when shit gets crazy. I like when people get nervous. That's where I excel. I excel where people get panicky. I enjoy those things. I enjoy a little chaos. And can I ask you a question? Do you think that's nature, nurture, or a healthy

addiction? Well, it's definitely some kind of an addiction for me. It's, but it's also a medication. It's like, that is how I work out problems in like, to be able to do that in real life is like, if you have like problems, like pool problems or archery problems, like there's a lot of tension, lot of nerves like what do you do you robbing banks like where are you getting those thrills from like so for me i get my thrills out of doing things that are just difficult and uh like things that require execution like a pool game or archery in particular is one of the best because, especially on like a long shot, you can't fuck anything up. Like all of your technique has to be perfect. You have to be relaxed.

You have to control your breath. And then when you release the shot, when the arrow goes, just any little twitch, any little, any little thing that you do with your hand, make it shoot three feet to the left, four feet to the right. Like you could just, you could just, you could twitch your arm and you're missed by seven inches. But if you keep it clear, keep your mind clear, keep your breath in control, keep your technique perfect, when that arrow releases and finds its way right into the center of the target,

it's one of the most satisfying things in life. It's kind of like, I know it's not, but it is, like upper body ballet in a way. Because I had that bit in the special about ballerinas and I make fun of ballet and I've been getting all these messages from ballerinas. I obviously respect the art form, but it is like they have to be so strong that they don't even shake

right you know it's just like a level of strength that is like otherworldly you know incredible composure physical composure and then are you do i have tricky shoulders and i've started tricky shoulders how they tricky my next special um they just are like i broke my right one and, um, I just, I've been doing this stretch. Is this good for you or bad for you? That like, it's good for you. Yeah. A couple of times. Cause don't, if you're going to do archery, don't you have to really take care of your

shoulders? Sure. I feel like we really ignore our shoulders. I definitely don't ignore my shoulders. I do a lot of shoulder work. Yeah. I do a lot of club bells. You know what club bells are?

It's like an iron club and i do it called shield casting where i put the clubs in front of me and i go like this so i'm controlling like this generally they're about they're not heavy they're like 15 pounds or maybe 25 pounds i'll use and um it's like the weight is all on the end so it's like this kind of balancing thing i'm doing and i'm swinging it around like this and then putting in front so it's like the weight is all on the end, so it's like this kind of balancing thing I'm doing, and I'm swinging it around like this and then putting it in front. So it's all of this controlled movement, and then I'll do it. There it goes.

So that guy's doing it right there. Club bell action. Let's see if we can find a video. Oh, I would not even have. Let's see if we can find a video of someone doing club bells. There's a bunch of videos that Onnit put out that are really excellent. You know, we have our own club bells at Onnit. So there you go.

There's the Onnit Steel Club. That's my boy John Wolf. And so you can see him doing a bunch of different exercises. But for archery in particular, the club bell is a really good tool for exercise. Because it – see like what he's doing there? Like keeping your shoulders straight like that is you want you don't you want strength in this position so if you're shooting especially like your your the arm that's holding the bow you want you don't want it to be fatiguing

and dropping and then you're struggling and it's shaking you want you want real strength and then you want to be able to relax because you don't want to tense your shoulder up one of the things about archery is any tension that you have could result in a twitch one way or another and any kind of little twitch when you're shooting at 95 yards i practice at 95 yards so when i'm shooting it i don't wouldn't shoot an animal at 95 yards but that practice at 95 yards. So when I'm shooting it, I don't shoot, wouldn't shoot an animal at 95 yards, but that's what I practice that. So if I see an animal at 40 yards, it's slam dunk. And when you're doing that, you actually want your shoulder to be relaxed. Like before I shoot, like if it's an important shot, I go like this.

I let all my tension out and then I'll draw back and then once I'm at full draw I relax my shoulder I relax but I have enough strength that I can hold it in this position and it's easy So I can I don't have any tension in my shoulder This is probably a very stupid question. Are you allowed to just walk around with a bow? Like get in the street. Yeah, like if you were just walking down Went to the proper hotel The cops would probably pull you over It's a weapon, it depends on what you have

in the bow. If you just have a bow yeah, it's not going to do anything without an arrow. You'd have to have arrows But if you had a bow and an arrow But if it was like Halloween and I had a bow If I don't know how to use it, it's not a weapon I guess. I think Halloween you could get away with it I think it's probably a gray area.

But it would depend on whether or not you had an arrow and whether or not the arrow was knocked. Meaning it's on the string. If the arrow was on the string, all you'd have to do is pull it back and release it and you could shoot somebody. And do you put something on the tip of the arrow? Or did I make that up? Yeah, it's called a broadhead.

No, but I mean like poison or something? No, but indigenous cultures do. Did that, right? No, they still do. Oh, wow? Yeah, it's called a broadhead. No, but I mean like poison or something? No, no, no. But indigenous cultures do. Did that, right? Yeah. No, they still do. Oh, wow. Yeah. There's people in South America, and that's one of the ways that they hunt monkeys.

They use a neurotoxin. They use some sort of poison on the tip of their arrows, and that's how they get a lot of their animals. Speaking of, I was freaking Tim Dillon again. I did a show up in the Hamptons, and Tim got a place there, and I got a tick on my pussy. Ooh, ticks are bad. Okay, so why are we all just fine with this? Because in Virginia, West Virginia, where I grew up, you pull the tick off, you burn it, you bite the head off, you get rid of the head. It's fine. I got a tick on me

in the Hamptons and I just like sent a picture to someone or put it on Instagram or something. And I was like laughing about it. Everyone was like, you need to get the tick, put it in a bag. Yeah. Lyme disease. I had to go on doxycycline 200 milligrams for three weeks. Oh, so it was infected with Lyme disease. They were like, you have to take this regardless. You should regardless. It's that bad.

Lyme disease is so bad. It's so bad and it can become chronic and haunt you for the rest of your life. And you have a very small window of opportunity to take care of it right after you get bit. So I thought Lyme disease was just for celebrities to post about when their movies were bombing. You know what? You're like a celebrity. Like I have Lyme disease. You're like, OK, like we get it.

You go to the Hamptons. Like I just didn't know anyone. And now that I went through it, people are like, oh, yeah, for Greg Fitzsimmons. His I think mom was on a drip of antibiotics for like 10 years. Like it's and people are like it destroys your brain and your neurological problems and then of course my comedian brain is like wait a second like all the most powerful rich people in the world vacation in the hamptons like is there a case to be made that they all have neurological damage well the kind of neurological you damage that you get from

lyme disease is very scary because uhme disease is actually connected to what is it called Meniere's disease what is that disease what is that called is that what it's called Jamie great talked about before no what is it called there's a disease where people think that they have fibers growing out of their skin and they they lose their mind. Morgellons. Morgellons. That's it, Morgellons.

So one of the episodes of Joe Rogan Questions Everything, that old sci-fi show that I had, one of the episodes of that we dealt with Morgellons, because a lot of people think Morgellons is bullshit, that it's not a disease at all, that it's fake. It's like some sort of neurological disorder. People believe that they have fibers growing out of them, but it's really like carpet fibers that they light around on and they scratch themselves. Well, it turns out that most of the people, well, I went to a Morgellons convention of people that Morgellons sufferers.

And one of the people there was a doctor. And the doctor said that one of the things that's interesting about Morgellons is that most of the people who have it also have Lyme disease and that Lyme disease has a neurotoxic element to it that he believes is causing people to hallucinate and so like he'll look in the mirror and he'll see like a worm crawling across the surface of his eye or he'll see something on his skin it's not there and he'll start clawing at it. And he said, so he believes, and he's a more Jelland's sufferer and a Lyme disease sufferer, and he thinks that the two of them are connected. He said because Lyme disease by itself, it's not as simple as, you know, like, oh, it's

copper or it's lead. It's a thing. You can know what it is. You isolate it. He's like, no, when a tick bites you, he goes, there's the stuff that we could recognize, but there's a host of other pathogens that come along with that and go for a ride.

And if you test positive for Lyme disease, you might have multiple toxic elements from this tick in your bloodstream that are fucking with everything, causing massive inflammation and brain fog and constant pain. Lupus, I think, kind of comes from it. Arthritis exacerbates it. Yep, yep, yep.

Is that, it's just wild to me that it's just accepted that people bring their kids to the Hamptons and they just get- It's not just the Hamptons. It's all over the East Coast. Jersey. Oh, wow. Everywhere. Yeah.

It started in Lyme. I think it was recognized first in Lyme, Connecticut. That's why it's called Lyme disease. That makes sense. And is it... Because in Virginia, we never... I mean, maybe we just all just got it and no one gave a shit, but it was never thought of.

Ticks were just, you pulled them off and that was it. Right. That's how it was when we were kids it was uh there's some wacky theory some conspiracy theory that it was some sort of a bio weapon that accidentally got released or some experimental biological warfare agent that got released that was like a big theory about uh i think we've researched that on the podcast as much as we actually research things. Duck, duck, go, Jamie. Yeah. And we found something about it, but it was like unclear.

I'm just fascinated. You know, I was obsessed for the longest time about the hookworm epidemic in the South. That is wild. Wild. Tell people that don't know, that never heard us talk about that because it's so fucking crazy it's so crazy because i think i i always like to look for excuses for people's bad behavior i think it's something that my brain likes to do to just feel better or or um you know forgive people or give them a pass or maybe it's just comedian brain trying to look at the other

thing but in um the early 1900s the hookworm epidemic in the South was so brutal. Jamie, please debunk whatever I'm saying if it's incorrect. And people went around with bare feet and hookworms went into their feet and they eat your brain. So there was a stereotype that Southerners were dumb. They were slow, they actually just were infected with hookworms. Was it Rockefeller that set up the program to develop an inoculation against her, some kind of treatment? I don't remember, but just the stereotype that Southerners are dumb really comes out of

from hookworm infections. I mean, it was an extraordinary number of people that were infected with hookworms up until the 20th century yeah it was rockefeller rockefeller sanitary commission for the education eradication of hookworm disease yeah so in 1909 rockefeller donated one million dollars which is like probably 100 million today what was the percentage of people that were infected with hookworm? I want to say it was somewhere over 40%. That's insane.

Yeah, it was really nuts. Insane. So that drives me kind of nuts when people are shitty about Southerners. Like, they're slow. Well, that's where it came from. That's where it comes from. Yeah, most people don't know. But that's really, hookworms once sapped the American south of its health, yet very few

realize they continue to affect millions. Okay. I can't move forward with that information. They're still around? Yeah. Have you ever had a ringworm? Yeah.

I've had ringworm. Do you know what it's from? From jujitsu. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I've had ringworm, staph. I've had both those things. Because when I had the tick bite, everyone kept asking, does it have a circle around

it? Right. Which is what happens with ticks. It almost looks like a target. Where you have the bite. It's on my pussy, which is very... a tick bite, everyone kept asking, does it have a circle around it? Right. Which is what happens with ticks. It almost looks like a target. Mm-hmm. Where you have like the bite. It's on my pussy, which is very. Danger zone.

Highway to the danger zone. Speaking of Top Gun. I thought you were going to go highway to hell can I tell you watching Top Gun I mean my nipples were hard my eyes were wet I just I don't know

I have family that was you know served it felt like a love letter to the military I'm down for that it was kind of a love letter to male friendship which it kind of was a love letter to the military. I'm down for that. It was kind of a love letter to male friendship, which it kind of was a love story between two men in a way. So we were talking before the podcast started about Val Kilmer and someone said that Val Kilmer was a Christian scientist. Is that real? Val Kilmer looks like me in a couple of years.

No. Will you please pull up a picture of him? Can we just... He looks like Texas Chainsaw Massacre when the guy put the face on. Remember when he was wearing other people's skin? Yes, I do. He looks good there. Val Kilmer explains why he got chemo for his cancer despite it being against his religious beliefs.

Oh, okay. So, yeah. So, what is his religious belief? Christian science, faith? God damn it. He his religious beliefs. Oh, okay. So, yeah. So, what is his religious belief? Christian science, faith? God damn it. He's only 60. God damn it. He does not look...

Right. He looks 60 and Tom Cruise is 60. Tom Cruise looks like he's fucking younger than me, that little cunt. Yeah, that... Meanwhile, he's right. Did you know that Tom Cruise was correct about fucking... When he was on Matt Lauer and he was like, Matt, you're being glib.

It's not about, there's no chemical imbalance. These psychiatric medications they give people are dangerous. He was fucking correct. Yeah, but also I think we could all agree Matt Lauer is glib all the time. Yes. He always was glib. He was glib. Can you pull up Val Kilmer in the movie?

Yeah, I mean, it's, I feel like, yeah, that Scientology thing is all about, like, no psych, I mean, John Travolta has a kid, sorry, this is going to get me in so much trouble, fine, whatever, who's dead, because they wouldn't give him seizure medication, right? Well, that's different than, Scientology is different than what you're talking about.

Val Kilmer is a Christian scientist. Oh, right. Christian scientists, they don't believe in Like any kind of medical treatment They're like Jesus gonna take care of everything Yeah yeah yeah I don't know how a guy as fucking talented And smart as Val Kilmer got sucked into that shit

But before He got chemo And had his cancer treated You know he was not doing anything because of his religious belief Him and fucking Tombstone To this day and had his cancer treated, he was not doing anything because of his religious belief. Him in fucking Tombstone, to this day, that is one of my favorite ever performances.

Willow. Him in the cage in Willow? I never watched Willow. What? Willow? Grown man. Back in the day. Okay, Jamie,

is Willow a girl movie? No. Not at all. It's a bunch of guys fighting midgets. I thought they were fairies. I was a kid. I thought they were fairies. Look, no.

No, no, no, no. It's not like, it's like- Is Tom Cruise in Willow? Medieval. No, it's like the Dingo H.O. baby. Right? Yeah. Look, this little guy. Look at him.

Right there. The guy from- Oh, I definitely never saw that piece of shit. Remember? For a while, that dwarf for a while and Andre the Giant were in every movie. Really? Like, Hollywood was just like, we want the giant and the little guy. I must have taken time off the movies.

They're bringing this back, too, by the way. They're bringing Willow back? Yeah. Starring? Who's playing him? Same guy. Peter Dinklage? Warwick Davis is his name.

This guy. Okay, sure. So, but I want to- I never saw Willow. That's weird. Yeah, maybe it's not but I want to- I never saw Willow. That's weird. Yeah, maybe it's not a- But I saw Tombstone about 30 times. Have you seen Labyrinth?

I think I did. Back in the day? Because Jennifer Connelly is in Top Gun, and she is giving big, big, like, hotness energy. Hotness energy. Was she not, like, a crush of yours? No, not of mine. Who was your, like, when you were, were like a teenager, who was your like? Madonna.

Ooh, what phase was she in? The material girl phase, I think. No, the like a virgin phase. Well, it was because she was more. Oh, look at that. That's Jennifer Connelly? Yes. Ooh, is she 12?

She was. That's creepy. Literally 16, and he was like. Really? Yeah. Wow. But I mean, it was a different time. David Bowie.

I loved it was a different time David Bowie I loved it that was like my the first time I felt any sexual feelings was when I watched this movie because David Bowie was like look at that troll picture what is that thing?

oh that's Ludo my new dog is named Ludo after him really? mhm he's the he calls the rocks these are all the family

that has I don't remember this movie at all oh dude smoke a joint and watch Labyrinth dude I got other things to do. It's so good, dude. The Goblin King?

Yeah. Really? Watch it. Ask Duncan. I have been hearing very disturbing reports about the new Game of Thrones, that they're going woke. The spinoff? I hear there's a lot of wokeness.

They're like, may I rape you? May I rip this corset off? I mean, maybe I've read about it online from people that are just clickbaiting. I'm nervous about it. I'm nervous about the new J.R.R. Tolkien, too. They're doing a thing for Amazon. I just think any big production now, it's like wokeness has permeated so deeply into the ethos of Hollywood. I can't imagine they would do something like the 2011 version of Game of Thrones, which is pretty wild.

You know what I think? I think they're smart enough to just tell a great story. What the fuck did you just say? You don't think? The Game of Thrones guys? No. I don't think it matters. What the fuck did you just say?

You don't think? The Game of Thrones guys? I don't think it matters. I think if the television producers and executives have any fucking say, and which they will, and then the actors have any say, which they will, they'll fuck it up. That's wild. I think it's like comedy movies. When was the last time you saw a good, wild, Tropic Thunder comedy movie? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They can't make them anymore. Yeah, that is very hard to get done. Although I feel like, did anyone see the Eric Andre movie with Tiffany Haddish in it? No. It was more like a prank movie. It was like, like Jackass is what I would say was the last really laugh out loud. But that's not a scripted movie. Yeah, what I'm talking about is like scripted movies.

Like you can't, they don't make them anymore. But I also think that that has changed for a litany of reasons. Like it used to be you'd have like three or four comedy movies come out a year and you'd hear all these like killer jokes. Now, in one day, you see more funny memes, funny tweets than 10 years ago you would ever see. You know, so by the time a movie comes out, it takes eight months. By the time you write it, shoot it, film it. Like all those jokes eight months ago, everyone will have gotten them already on the internet oh i don't know about that i don't think that's true because if you watch tropic thunder

today it's fucking hilarious yes yes it's like what i'm saying is the genre of wild funny movies has been killed by wokeness was the last one hang the hangover probably yeah i mean probably and i think that there's a you know i i feel like there's just so much guilt and fear in hollywood and it's funny because people because hollywood creepy i'm like you mean the business that was built on the back of a five-year-old named shirley temple have you watched shirley temple movies lately. Of course not. But I went back through the pandemic and I watched them. Like, she's five. She's like in a, like, she's like, hey, little sailor boy.

Like, it's wild, dude. There's a video called Baby Burlesque. And it's her in, like, diapers, topless. I mean, she's a kid, you know. And two boys and they're, like, doing, like, little, like, dances in a saloon. Like, have you seen Shirley Temple in Blackface? No. We all owe her an apology.

This is a baby in Blackface. It's wild. There's so many crazy things that happened. And now I feel like Hollywood is just overcorrecting, trying to be like, yeah, we didn't, you know. Well, they don't even remember that. I just feel like in general, everyone's just trying to go like, I think, okay, this is the hot take. I think the people that should make those what i think all the guys that were canceled that's shirley temple but oh my god

dude it is up to the waterline on her 1935 oh my god the littlest rebel so did she was she playing a little black girl i think she was playing someone that looks like... Hold on. Stop scrolling. Miss Temple even briefly donned blackface herself in The Littlest Rebel. Shirley Temple dances with two men in blackface while other actors also in blackface look on. Wow. Everybody in that has it. That's brutal. Can you look up Good Ship Lollipop?

This is... Hold on. Stop. Put that picture back. That picture is fucking wild. Look at that audience. That is crazy. And what year is this?

35. Oh, my God. Horrifying. It's so wild. Yeah. Horrifying. Look at the gloves and everything. Like, so strange.

Why was she a movie star? Who looked at a five-year-old and was like, you really got what it takes. Right. Why did they choose a child to be a movie star? She's a kid. Bill Bojangles Robinson and Shirley Temple in The Littlest Colonel, 1935, in the famous staircase dance scene. What the fuck, man? Let's watch a clip because I am not familiar with Shirley Temple movies.

I do deep dives on this because it's this weird thing nobody talks about. She was famous at five. In every movie she's in, there's no mom. It's just her entertaining a bunch of men at war or on a boat. That's Baby Burlesque. War Babies, that's, wait, Baby Burlesque. War Babies. Baby Burlesque. Baby Burlesque.

Let's see War Babies. Give me some volume on this. Jesus Christ. 1932. Her first speaking role. Look at those babies. This is so strange. Why is her

half off her shoulder? He's winking at her. Yeah. She's dancing with a diaper on. It says speaking role. Wait, what's that in the background? It looked like a crop was pushing her towards

one direction. Yeah. background. It looked like a crop was pushing her towards one direction. Oh, there's a little cane sticking in there. Yeah. They prodded her? Yeah. It's like a cattle prod. Yeah. And that is what it is. Look. Is that what it is? Yes. Yes. That's

exactly what it is. It's someone with a stick. Don't get over there. Trying to cajole her. She's wearing a diaper. I mean, this is a tiny little kid kid why are we looking at her butt why why is it even hit facing the camera oh someone's pissing in this baby's mouth that is milk that looks that's crazy that's like on the knees doggy style yeah this is wild The other kid just had clothes on, and now he doesn't. What is that?

I bet they paid him well. He's got clothes on, and then he takes his clothes off. Yeah, look, and everyone's watching him dance. This is weird. Maybe she talks to him. What the fuck? Watch, watch, watch. Oh, that boy's sad.

Watch, though. Because she hugged the other boy. Oh, so he steals from her Her lollipop Look, he's kissing She's kissing him Watch She's such a dumb whore

All she needs is sugar And I'll kiss you Oh, wow Yeah And then he hugs her That was easy What's he doing? Why is he sucking on a

Jesus What is happening here? He's sucking on the finger of a glove And it's hanging Epstein Productions Oh sucking on the finger of a glove and it's hanging. Epstein Productions. Oh, that looked like a real fall. Oh, that was a real fall.

No one cared. No one cared. That kid got cut up by that glass. What? What was Shirley Temple's last days of life like? How depressing was that? Because she was famous when she was young and she was not famous at all. Look at her kissing a boy while she's hugging another boy. He just said you'd be good until I get back.

How old is she here? What, five? She's a floozy. Look. She is. She kissed that boy and he snuck away. Women were all sluts back then. That's what they're trying to say.

Can you look at Good Ship Lollipop? This is the one that, because it's a lot of her at war with men. And I don't know who her parents are. Right. This one's wild because at the end they give her a lollipop and it hits share. This is the Candyland Hour for all good children. The orchestra will play our theme song. You know that song, don't you?

Sure I do. Well, then sing it. Come on. Come on, Shirley. Why does her dress have to be that short? Yeah, it's so short. You're on a plane. This is our entertainment. I've thrown away my toys.

Even my drum and train. I want to make some noise. When real life air will play. Someday I'm going to fly. I'll be a pilot too. And when I do How would you Like to be my crew

Not a woman inside On the good ship Lollipop It's sweet Because I watch it constantly Look how little her skirt is Oh no And it

Watch when she sits on a man's lap. This is so weird. It's nuts. Not like a stewardess. Not one foster mom, babysitter. Is that supposed to be a plane? And why is it so low? A ship?

What is going on in the background? She's always like the only girl on a plane or a ship What is that supposed to be supposed to be a train looks like a train it must be right you've got to watch the end She's pulling her skirt up. Yep. What the fuck? Why? What? Now he's passing her around.

It's a gangbang. Where's the mom? Watch this. Watch this. Where's the mom? And she even pulled her skirt down. Why do we have to do a cum shot on Shirley Temple? Was that coke or a cum shot? I thought it was coke. It's on her nose. They did a lot of coke back then.

Could be that. Okay, what the fuck? They just shitting her. They came on her and then they shit on her. Cleveland Steamer on Shirley Temple? I don't like it. And another one. Does his hand need to be there?

Don't you think she's sick? Why is she frowning now? She's going to get tired? She's sugar crashing. Yeah. Is that a tummy ache? She's drugged. They drugged her. They drugged her. On the good ship. Ugh. She's drugged.

They drugged her. They drugged her. All the men are getting excited. Imagine grown men being remotely interested in this. Everyone in this video should go to jail. Probably all dead. But what a strange... Someone... Ha ha ha thing. They scared her.

She's a child though. Boy, what they thought was entertaining back then is so... Now, see if you can find Shirley Temple in her later years. Find a video of Shirley Temple on like the Carson Show or some shit when she was 80. People say she was like oddly normal but I think she took a lot of time off.

I did. I thought you were going to say Prozac. Oh, probably. Probably a lot of something, Valium. I was re-watching this Hedy Lamarr documentary. Are you a Hedy Lamarr? Oh, no. The reason I sort of got into her is Mitzi Shore used to call me Hedy Lamarr.

Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Do you me Hedy Lamarr. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Do you know Hedy Lamarr invented Wi-Fi? Crazy. Yeah. She was in my act. Yes. Yeah.

Your last hour. Yeah. Yes. With the vegan cat. With an inventor. Yeah. Yes. Is that Shirley Temple?

Mm-hmm. Let me hear. But I'm pleased with the results. This is on all your own? You didn't collaborate with anyone? No. No ghost. And very candid, open. Was that hard? Yeah, it's embarrassing. Some of the things are kind of embarrassing. But if you do an autobiography, you have to tell it like it was.

There have been about 12 biographies written about me, and one of them, kind of a recent one, I'm told has 526 factual errors. So the main reason I wanted to write this... I just want everyone to know I did not apply the blackface myself. Justin Trudeau, help me. You see, like when we showed the opening,

the little Shirley Temple dance. How do you look at that? I was there. I remember it very vividly. We don't remember when we were five years old. I don't remember. Larry, I remember when I was ten months old. She's crazy.

We lost her. We lost her. So close. Is that the oldest version of her that you can get? There's one other video. It's her last interview. She's on a red carpet. What is that? Look down.

Why is she holding that man's face? Yeah. What's the other one? The last interview on the route? Click on that. Hey. Oh. I love E.T.

Oh, my God. Okay. Okay. You just made my night. Good that you just made my night good you just made my night because you know what we love you you know what it's cold down here it is a little i'm getting a little goose bumpy oh my gosh you were smart because you have the jack i have a jacket yep it's beautiful Great small talk, guys. Thank you, son. Charles, welcome. Jesus. Hi. Nice to see you. Nice to meet you. That's right. Good night, the movie. No, no. But we'll, you know, that's a good movie.

How old was she when she died? Tonight? Yeah. She is dead, right? Yeah. There's another video out here that says zero to 77 years old. So she died when she was 77? 2014, just after.

Oh, wow. Because I know Betty Page, when she, she didn't want anyone to take photos of her after she was like 30 or something. And there's nothing, you can't find anything of her after that, right? And then I looked up Hedy Lamarr because Hedy Lamarr, in addition to all the stuff you talked about, I'm sure you know, she experimented with plastic surgery on herself. Like she would talk to doctors and be like, well, if you put this in here, so. Oh, no. Yeah. So there's some videos and photos of her later.

Do you know that's Leah Lamar's like grandchild or some shit? Are you serious? Yeah. Leah Lamar is related to Hedy Lamar. She came up to me and talked to me about it because she had heard my bit about Hedy Lamar inventing Wi-Fi. I was with her three nights ago at the outdoor show in LA and someone said you're bringing up Leah Lamar and I was like wait a second it's two R's like there's no way

she's related to Hetty She's related to Hetty. That's crazy and honestly I see it. She's got that beautiful like porcelain skin Oh yeah. Wow. You totally could see it Now find Leah Lamar Yeah she's really funny. Yeah. But totally could see it. Now find Leah Lamar.

Yeah, she's really funny. Yeah. But that's so interesting. Now watch. Bam. I mean, I see it. Yeah. I definitely see it.

She doesn't talk about it in her act, or at least I haven't seen her talk about it. There's no comparisons, are there? Yeah, there's one in the, well, no. That's pretty nuts. It's her, I'm sorry, her niece, did you say? I don't remember. I wish I could remember, but she's 100% related to Hedy Lamarr. That's bonkers. Yeah.

Well, there's not a ton of money because she didn't get any credit for what she invented. No, she got robbed. She got robbed. Majorly robbed. Yeah. But that's what- It was only one of multiple inventions from Hedy Lamarr. Hedy Lamarr was brilliant.

She had something in flight as well, right? She helped Howard Hughes. Let's find out what Hedy Lamarr's invention was. Radio-controlled torpedoes. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Traffic stoplight and a tablet that would dissolve in water to create a carbonated drink.

Jesus. Wow. That was unsuccessful, it says. She was a smart lady. She was also arrested For shoplifting In 1955 Lamar was arrested In Los Angeles

For shoplifting The charges were Eventually dropped Maybe she was like Winona Ryder Just doing it for thrills She was arrested The same charge

In Florida This time for stealing $21.48 worth of Laxatives and eye drops Oh she might be poor Maybe she was like I've been robbed so much Cause I invented the internet And I'm broke I deserve these eye drops. Oh, she might be poor. Maybe she was like, I've been robbed so much because I invented the internet and I'm broke.

I deserve these eye drops. But by this time, so we're talking about this is the 90s, she's probably really poor. Of course, yeah. Oh, yeah. Calling Hedy Lamarr was released in 2004. There was another one that was more recent that talked about her contributions to plastic surgery. Like she would sit down with plastic surgeons and they would try it out on her. So why don't you Google Hedy Lamarr plastic surgery?

Uh-oh. 3.3 million. Oh, so she did have money that was left. Hmm. Interesting. That was Lamarr. That's so fascinating. That is so fascinating. That is so fascinating.

And then in terms of, I was thinking about in Top Gun last night, do you enjoy flying? Do you ever want to fly planes? No. Okay. Me either. I mean, I would. I mean, the problem is I would get into it. With me, anything that I do, I go, I don't have the time for that.

Yeah. You know, I don't, I have to be careful. Because you're 100%. It'll be all consuming or it'll be... Yeah, it's like, it's a good thing if you harness it. Like, whatever I have, whatever fucking mental illness I have is very good if I can harness it. But I have to be

aware of it. I can't just, like, just go around playing golf. I can't do that. I can't even play chess. I can't even play chess. I can't casually play things. So there she was. Oh, shoot. I mean.

Something weird was going on. I think we haven't seen someone age naturally in so long, we don't even know what it looks like. Right. Right. Everybody's all Botoxed up. We don't even have a point of reference anymore. I don't even think we would know what normal looks like at this point.

That's really fascinating. But yeah, because I know Bill Burr, Bill got really into flying helicopters. Oh, yeah, yeah. He took me up. We flew around downtown LA. What's crazy about helicopters is you could kind of fly wherever you want. It's like going in the ocean and swimming. It's not like, you know, if you're on a road,

there's very specific roads. Like, here's a 405, this is the 10, you gotta go this way or that way. When you're on a helicopter, you go wherever the fuck you want. So we were flying around downtown LA. That would spook me out. So you just fly in, we were flying like, you know,

50 yards away from buildings and shit, just flying around. And one of the things that was wild about it is like you realize how many of these buildings have like a landing spot on the top of the building. Yeah. Yeah. I guess that's probably for emergency vehicles or something.

No, for helicopters. Oh, yeah. If there's like a. Some baller. He's like, I want to fly in on a fucking helicopter and land on my building. And he lands on his, I don't know who that guy is. George Soros. Oh, this is what I was going to say.

This is how we get good movies. Some good movies. Oh, Harvey? This is fucked up. We get all the canceled guys. Oh, Tony has a bid on this. Oh, does he? Yeah.

And they need to make a super movie? Yeah. I don't want to do it because I don't want to ruin it, but Tony's got a really funny bid about it. A lot of talented people are on the bench and their penance should be they have to start making movies again for us, and the money goes to whatever cause. Yeah. Because if, like, Brett Ratner, Harvey Weinstein.

Roman Polanski. Roman Polanski. That's the hard one. How good were his movies? What was Roman Polanski's finest movies? He was in some kind of whack movie with Johnny Depp in the 2000s. I don't need to fight for Roman Polanski. I don't remember a movie that like moved me wasn't he in rosemary's but didn't he direct rosemary's baby that could be true roman polanski imdb okay yeah frantic with

harrison ford which is really weird because it was an underage girl oh he directed chinatown oh okay that's a great movie yeah Yeah, he did Rosemary's Baby. Click more. Oliver Twist. I don't need that in my- The Pianist. That's right. That's an amazing movie.

Rush Hour. What? What? He might have produced it. He might have produced it. They might not have just been directing. I think it's because he's associated. Oh, oh.

Yeah, he didn't- Yeah, a kid stays in the picture. It would have been just for an interview. Yeah. Macbeth. Huh. The pianist was giant. Well, so was Chinatown. Chinatown, Jack Nicholson. Rosemary's Baby was giant too. It's pretty big.

It's a pretty big movie. Yeah, it's... They just remade it. It was not successful. The new Rosemary's Baby? They made one? Yeah, they're trying to remake a lot of movies. And yeah, it's bizarre. But yeah, I don't like, and Woody Allen, I'm the same with it.

I'm like, I don't know. I didn't love his movies. I know everyone else loved, I loved Danny Hall. And then I was kind of like, this feels like the same movie. Yeah. This kind of feels like an excuse for you to go to Europe with Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson. Like, this isn't, there's no story here. Well, you know, his movies were, they're an extension of his personnel, which is also like a stand-up.

If you go listen to a stand-up, it's kind of, oh, it's okay. It's kind of funny. It's okay. It's kind of funny. But it's also, if you watched his movies in 1970, they would be brilliant. I mean, movies were different then. The culture was different then. People were different then.

Our perceptions of things were different then. If you watch those movies today, they're like, okay, you know. I don't enjoy watching men be neurotic. It makes me sick. Yeah. My life is so hard. It makes me sick. Yeah. Well, that's because. Oh, my life is so hard. I'm so scared of everything.

You're a strong woman and you don't like neurotic men. Yeah. But there's like there's a certain type of guy that sort of wears that Jewish neurosis like a badge of honor. But what I really don't like about it is that I feel like you're trying to make yourself seem innocuous because then you're gonna do shady shit like look at me i'm so harmless i'm afraid of spiders and lobsters like there's no way that i would be dating my stepdaughter like who me it doesn't it feels like you're trying to get ahead of something well in his case something well in his case duh yeah yeah i just like yuck yeah like i just i i never fell under that spell of like woody allen is the greatest to ever do anything but it's also one of the things that happens is a guy becomes established as being a great person and then that becomes the narrative

like he's great his movies are great oh it's a Whitney Allen movie what he's amazing he's amazing this is what I don't like I don't like if I disagree with you I'm dumb right you know I'm saying if I'm like oh I didn't feel that way like I must be there's because I think a lot of people start to you know put something on a pedestal is like the paragon of great and then it just becomes this cult thing of like if you disagree you're dumb I remember like when I first watched a couple David Lynch movies I was like I, like I hadn't really gotten in deep enough, but I found that if you say like, I didn't really get that. People are like, oh, I'm like, did you, you explain to me what you got.

And it falls apart very quickly. Like, well, it's just genius. It's just, it's meta. Like it's just, and I'm like. Well, there's a lot of people. Yeah. Like when someone becomes genius that you're not allowed to critique it. Yeah.

It becomes a thing. Or can I just say, I don't get it. Can you explain it to me? And then they can't and they get, they just think you're not allowed to critique it yeah it becomes a thing or can i just say i don't get it can you explain it to me and then they can't and they get they just think you're dumb i'm like well you can't explain it either i've been guilty of that too though because like coen brothers movies i'm a giant fan of the coen brothers movies and i've talked to people that don't like the big lebowski and i'm like well you can eat shit well that's a that's a sick person yeah right see what i'm saying, that's a moron. We're fucking hypocrites.

Yeah, you're sick. We're both hypocrites. Yeah, but it's more like, I think No Country for Old Men is more the, this is going to get me in such hot water because you're the guy that I'm dating. It's his favorite. It is. I find men, it's No Country for Old Men, Field of Dreams, Rudy. Like there's a couple movies you just, as a woman, you just can't, you're not allowed to touch.

Really? Because they're just so important to men in a way that maybe I just wouldn't understand. What? No Country for Old Men. I'm not sure I even understand the movie. Like, it's so compelling. I love watching it. But my guy, it's like his, like, we can't even talk about it.

He gets so angry if I even, I'm like, but why, why did he have to have that haircut? Like I just have questions. Like part of the fucking, the greatness of that movie is his haircut is so goofy and he's so fucking terrifying. Yes. It's just like, it's so, the choices are so wild that,

um, another Harvey Weinstein produced. Yes. The Harvard Weinstein joint. But the Coen brothers are just genius. What year was that movie? 2007. Remember he would kill people with, what was it?

It was a cattle thing that they drive through cows' brains. And then if Tommy Lee Jones is in a movie, I've learned to not make fun of it to a guy. Really? If Tommy Lee Jones is in it, it's probably like a special movie. Oh, he was in some horseshit movies that's true Tommy Lee Jones is in some like goofy movie where he was an assassin and someone else was an assassin he's gonna have a fistfight it's like he does the best when he's the older cop you know the sensible guy that seen it all who's like ah shit like yeah oh shit the

fugitive member the future yeah great. He was just chasing, he does well when he's chasing someone, but he's not in a rush. Have you watched The Old Man, the Jeff Bridges new series? No. It's really good in the beginning, but then when I'm getting to the last episode, I'm like, you guys have a little bit, there's a little too much talking going on here. It's a little too involved and they're trying to work the script out through explaining things. Like, people talking and explaining things. Like exposition.

Yeah, I'm like, hey, hey, hey. Yeah, yeah. Hey, hey, hey. That was. Go back to the editing room. We get it. Yeah. Let's give another run at this.

That feels like a network note. That's what happens when networks get involved. They're like, well, we need to explain what's happening so the audience isn't confused. The thing is, in the beginning, there's none of that. What's really compelling about the beginning of the show is that there's very little of that. And then you're trying to figure out what the fuck is happening. And then you realize, oh, my God, this guy is a killer for the CIA that has been on the run for all these years. And you figure it out while the show's going on.

And now he's, you know, this old guy. I think that's good. Let the audience catch up. Yes. Somewhere along the line, they decided to start explaining things. It got to this point where you're like, this is like, it's too... Forced. Or like, it's like you feel...

Yeah, I don't... No one talks like that. No one is like, hey, so ever since you've been divorced, I know things have been crazy. Right. You're just like, what? You know, like, ah, I haven't seen you in a couple of years. How you doing? How you doing post-divorce?

I hate when I really like something and then it loses me towards the end. I'm like, oh. I know. We came so far together. Yeah. Now I'm on episode six. I'm like, what? That's so disappointing.

It's also, there's like too many cut the shit scenes. By the time I'm like, how is this guy just roaming around? Like this is 2022. They would have got him. Like this is for you to tell me that the CIA is not. 23andMe would have got him. It's not just that. It's like he didn't change his looks.

Like the whole thing is crazy. If you wanted to go off the grid right now, like fake your own death, whatever, and disappear, how long could you do it? If you had no phone, could you do it? Yeah, I could do it. Go AWOL. Yeah, but I would need to go to the mountains, and I would need equipment.

For the rest of your life, or you're going to take cash with you and then just go in and... Well, it depends on where you want to go. You can go to Alaska, and there's motherfuckers in Alaska right now that are off the grid forever. But the thing is, you're go to Alaska and there's motherfuckers in Alaska right now that are off the grid forever. But the thing is, you're going to need bullets. Yeah. If you're going to shoot caribou and that's where you're going to get your food, you're going to need bullets.

You need gas, probably. Well, you don't need gas. If you can go to a place where you can walk around and you're in the middle of the... Have you ever seen Heinmo's Arctic Adventure? And, you know, you're in the middle of the world. Have you ever seen Heinmo's Arctic Adventure? There's a Vice Guide to Travel documentary thing, like a series thing, on this guy who moved to the Arctic in, I want to say the 70s. He got a job up there and he decided to stay.

And he lives in this small cabin. And he's like the last like sanctioned person to be able to live there and when he moves out no one ever is allowed to live there again and he lives a completely subsistence lifestyle up there yeah and so this guy i mean during the course of this show and by the way this, this was when Vice was the shit. Okay. This is like the early days of Vice when, you know, they were these reporters that would be embedded in fucking Afghanistan and they would do things. And, you know, it wasn't like all woke bullshit like it is now.

But what this kid does is he goes out and it's like the perfect looking guy for the job because it's like this nerdy looking New York kid with glasses. And he goes to this guy's cabin in Alaska and he shows like the caribou that he's got hanging from a tree. And, you know, while he's there, bears come and they try to get him and he has to fucking kill a bear. And then after he kills the bear, he cuts the bear's head off and he has to send the bear to the wildlife biologist so they can determine the bear's age because

when you murder a grizzly bear up there you're supposed to do that. Oh really? Yeah so he's got... But it's legal to do that if it's attacking you? Well he's defending his life and property. Grizzly, grizzlies, black bears are smaller grizzlies are I mean how many pounds is that? That's is that? Jesus Christ. That's the bear that he had to shoot. Well, it depends. Grizzlies, so there's a grizzly bear and a brown bear are essentially. Oh, sure. Wasn't not ready for that.

Wasn't ready for beheading. Was not ready for that. Does that freak you out? No. I know, I think that, again, as I get mature in life, I'm trying to just know myself better. If I see a really rough image, it'll just stick with me and I'll replay it in my head. I'm trying to get off Instagram a little more. Sometimes you'll just see something.

You're just like at 2 o'clock. You weren't prepared to see whether it's just like a horrible piece of news or like an image or, you know, you know, I know everyone loves the nature loves metal. The nature is metal. I love those, too. But sometimes I'm just like, you know, I go to those first thing. I know you like so crazy. I have to be like, OK, I'm about to see something horrible. First thing in the morning.

I want to watch two eagles kill a coyote. Dude, I'm just saying, I open my phone, it's just like a chimpanzee ripping a baby out of a toddler, like a fucking stroller. I'm like, Jesus, guys, let me just regroup. First thing in the morning, I go to the nature documentaries and the nature films. That's what I like. Is that how you motivate yourself?

Like, it's a fucking doggy dog world out there. No. Oh, God. Oh, Jamie. Lizards are okay. Lizards, I don't... Fuck lizards. I know, but the one where yourself like it's a fucking doggy dog world out there for no to motivate oh god oh jamie lizards are okay lizards i don't fuck lizards i know but the one where the the is it the monkey smashing the seagull yes i love that one it looks so human the way he's doing it yeah he's on top of a pole at the zoo he caught he caught a fucking bird slipping i get too sad Because when chimpanzees and monkeys do it looks so human it is human. I mean it's probably we're primates We're monkeys. I go that's why it makes me sad look at that one It's a leopard eating a monkey and while its baby clings on to the carcass

Can we go back to Shirley Temple in blackface please? The carcass. Can we go back to Shirley Temple and Blackface, please? On the good ship. Lollipop. That is way more disturbing to me than these animal videos. Isn't that shocking? Yeah.

If you're famous at five, that means at three they started training you. I clicked on that one. Poor little rich girl. This one's edited a little bit, but there's a couple of very strange scenes. Early Hollywood pedophilia. Shirley Temple and poor little rich girl. Oh Why wait what oh, this is a video someone made come over here Kick him in the dick Wait what

He licks his finger why does he do that? Oh, Jesus. Wait, what just happened? Watch, he licks his finger. Watch, watch this. Are they saying he put his finger? Yes, that's exactly what they're saying. Watch, look. He licks his finger.

Okay. Do you know something? What? I didn't think I was going to like you at first. Yeah? But I like you now. What? Now that your shriveled-ass finger's in my butthole, I'm taking a liking to you.

Why did he lick his finger and then have her sit on his hand? But did you see her expression? She kind of went like... Yeah. What the fuck is that? It's when you think about all the rehearsing and the training and the wardrobe fittings and like it just. The licking the fingers. Like what the fuck is that about?

Bro, that is the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life. That is so fucking disturbing. In plain sight. That he would lick his finger and then she sits on his hand. Show that. Don't show that again. He's a thousand years old. Like that was just a movie.

Yeah. What the fuck is that? I didn't think I was going to like you, but I like you now. Now I do. After you sit on my lap, I'm going to. But someone trained her to dance that way.

Like there is a baby burlesque where she's topless. We saw one that where she wasn't, but it's basically like baby porn. It's like dancing, you know? So it's like a lot of dark, dark shit, dude. Dark that that exists. Hollywood.

We need to cancel Shirley Temple to drink. Now, let's break this down because do you think, this is my take on Hollywood has always been, one of the weirdest aspects about it is that there's there's gateways to you working. Right. Like someone you have to audition and you can become a star like the Harvey Weinstein thing. You can become a star through this guy. And so he's got like Quentin Tarantino when he was on the podcast was telling me about this old school director that had a bedroom in his office. So he had his office, and in the office there was a bedroom where he would take the starlets, all of them.

Like, if you were going to be a star, this guy had to fuck you. Apparently Hitchcock was pretty nasty. Really? Uh-huh. I bet they all were. Yeah. I bet that was the gig. Who was it that came?

Melanie Griffith's mom, Tippi Hedren. Tippi Hedren. I bet that was the gig. Who was it that Melanie Griffith's mom, Tippi Hedren, Tippi Hedren, who now has a tiger sanctuary, by the way. Have you ever seen the trailer for the movie Roar, R-O-A-R?

Tippi Hedren. Yeah, we're going to do a little fight companion for that. Oh, that's right. That's right. It's such a bad movie that we were going to get high

and do watch the movie, the entire movie, with comics, and do like a movie, the entire movie with comics and do like a fight companion with Rory. We probably still should do that. That's genius. I downloaded it and have it saved. Yeah. And I just did Are We Drunk

in New York and we're like, God, Rogan should be here. And they were like, we already do a show like this, like the Parks show where you guys sit around and protect our parks. Yeah, we get blasted. Those shows are the most ridiculous. Did you see the last one where Ari tried to keep up

with Shane Gillis? I imagine that did not go well for Ari. He tried to drink every beer that Shane drank. Shane put away 17 or 18? 18, we'll just say 18. 18 beers. In a three and a half hour podcast, he drank 18 beers.

And Ari got to, what did he get to, about 15? I think it was 15, and I don't remember if two of the 15 were mine, or he had 17 and two of those were mine. So it was either 13 or 15. It's either 13 or 15, and then he's throwing up at a cooler, and he's blacked out. Amazing. He fell asleep on the floor.

We had to get the manager to come in every half hour or so just to check on him, make sure he's still alive because he was conked out right below where you're sitting. And the only reason why he didn't throw up all over the floor and ruin the whole place is because we got him a cooler. So he threw up into a cooler. Question. Okay, so the thing about Hollywood.wood right i uh uh yes there's all these we'll get

into all the nitty-gritty but you know james corden is leaving or whatever curious do you think there's ever a version ever ever ever because it feels like that's kind of over you know but is there ever a version that whoever takes that spot is cool, you know, like a real comic who has done stand-up for a long time, who goes back to what the, you know, I think it's the Late Show, not the Tonight Show, but what was so great, having comics on, you know, there's sketches. For sure, it could be done. You have Kyle Dunn again. You have Shane Gillis doing sketches. You have Tim Dillon being a correspondent. You know, you have all of our, is there ever a version where there's going to be a late night show that works given what's going on in this huge. Yes, but it would have to be on the internet.

Yes. The problem with those networks is they're captured. Those people are so woke and so confused and they're so scared. And if something goes bad, they get fired. And if something goes well, they fired and if something goes well they don't get credit for it it's like if you're a host of a show like that it's kind of on you

and all those people like if you do something crazy if Tim Dillon does Megan McCain likes telling her daddy to fuck her tits you know and if I'm the host of that show I am 100% getting fired. And then the network executive who greenlit is probably also getting fired.

Which is also crazy because it's like their whole thing would be, well, the sponsors are going to get mad at us. And you're like, well, podcast, you have sponsors? Yeah, I got a lot of sponsors. You know what I'm saying? Sponsors like you because of numbers, not because of. Right. Well, it's also they have a different sort of sensibility

they recognize that like they a lot of the people that are sponsors are also fans so like they actually enjoy the show like i get a lot of sponsors that are people that listen to the podcast and so like when my a few of the times that i've been canceled they'll come after the sponsors the sponsors like fuck you well i like that show i make this argument about you when whenever this comes up which is like if you just listen to joe you'll like him i don't know if that's necessarily i just mean like if here here's what's interesting to me is like you know the podcasting this is you know you've been doing it you know the long i know tom green and you know there are people are doing you know but i feel like it is on us as human beings now that when you consume something, you consider the date it was made. Yeah.

When we eat something right before you drink milk, you're going to look at the expiration date. Before you drink wine, you're going to look at the date. Like if you're just going to pull a podcast that you did at the beginning of the pandemic and listen to it now, you change your mind 50 times after that. You know what I mean? It was like it's to not know the context when a three hour conversation was had. Like you really have to know when something was recorded. Well, the difference between a podcast and almost anything else is that at least the way I do it, I don't have any difference in the way I talk to people on the podcast versus the way I talk to them in real life. Like if you know me, if you know me here, like you and I have had a million

conversations out of here. I'm the same human. This is how I am all the time. This is how I am when I talk to my neighbor. This is how I am when I talk to friends. If I think something's funny, I laugh. I talk. I mean, I'm more like quiet, reserved with like older people or people that are more sensitive. But this is who I am.

that are more sensitive but this is who I am and so what I'm doing is having like public conversations like while I'm thinking in real time out in front of the whole world that's not possible on network television they're not going to tolerate that they're scared of it and that's why they push back so hard when it becomes successful that's why they don't know what the fuck to do like Like they're so confused is because like this thing that you're not supposed to do has become so much more successful than the thing that you're supposed to do that they do. Right. And wait a second. We conned everyone into believing that you needed 200 people to make content. Right. You know what I mean?

Right. That you were making 30 grand an episode and we were all making millions. Yeah. You know, if we just let you do this, if the talented person makes all the money, then we don't exist. We don't have a job. We don't exist. We don't have a job. You know?

Yeah. There was always this weird sort of gatekeeper thing, like very similar to what we're talking about with like Hollywood starlets, where if you wanted to get onto a network, if you wanted to get onto a television show, you had to kiss the ring. You had to go to the ring. You had to go to the parties. You had to support the right political party. You had to have the same political ideology as everybody else. That microphone is driving me crazy. Do me a favor and tighten that bitch down. Look at my fingers. This thing here, right here, right there. Tighten that down down that thing is wobbly as fuck

ari's balls yeah he probably is that better yeah sorry about that um agree and you know it's interesting because now people like well this person didn't you know they didn't hire a wheelchair person to play a wheelchair person and all that whatever i'm not even yeah it's more like i'm like dude when i was auditioning to be on tv shows agents would call me and go you're not getting this job the head of the network doesn't want to fuck you. Really? That was a doesn't think you have sex appeal. They really said that?

Oh, all the time. It was literally you're not pretty enough. You're too pretty. You know, you have to. Can you lose some weight? I mean, the stuff that I which is, by the way, I didn't complain about it at the time. I was like, well, this is business. This is how it goes.

Like, I never expected anything more. I never, you know, I was like, like yeah i'm in this shallow crazy business and if this is how decisions are made like who am i to like do i want the job or not yeah where the fucking push-up bra bitch imagine like you're in a movie you have to audition for a movie and in that movie you have to be like in your underwear so you have to go into this office and they're gonna ask you to get into your underwear yeah which is Which is just what they do, right? They want to know what you look like right now. Yeah.

Yes. It used to definitely be like that. How would they do it any differently? But now everyone is so scared of people suing them. So I did the Foo Fighters movie. It's called, it's a horror movie and there's a sex scene and everyone was like, you can wear your bra if you want and if you want to wear underwear. And I was like, then it's not a sex scene.

That would be weird. Let's not be. I'm not going to sue you. I promise I won't sue you. Let's not be so worried about me that we don't actually make this a funny scene. You know, because it was the drummer was having sex with me and I get sawed in half. It's pretty amazing. What is this movie?

It's called Studio 666. The Foo Fighters did a horror movie. Really? Where Dave Grohl gets possessed by a devil and kills the whole band. Wow. It's actually, it's pretty awesome. When does it come out? It came out.

It's already out? It was like right, we were shooting, I wonder if you can pull up the scene where I get sawed in half. There you go. There she is. Is it a good movie? Dude, it is so fun to watch. It's called Everlong, and you wrote it about 20 years ago.

Rest in peace, Taylor. How are you feeling? Everything okay? Ever since we moved into this house, my mind is flooded. We all have writer's block. This is not just a creepy rock and roll house. It allows spiritual entities to cross into our world.

Oh, my God! Dude has got one flew over the cuckoo's nest crazy. It's like a send up to classic horror movies. Let's finish the track. Can't we just wait, dude? Just play the drums. You found a new musical note? Oh yes I did.

It's an L. Any chefs in the group? I'm pretty handy on the grill. Yeah, you like your meat charred and dry. He does make a killer barbecue. What do we do? We go save his ass. Do you watch this after you watch Willow?

Fuck, are you making me watch? You wouldn't even go to Top Gun. What do you mean I wouldn't go? I couldn't go. I had a show last night. Oh, that's right. That's right. With Theo.

That's right. He was in town. They tried to get me to go. I would have gone. I think, though, I feel like, yeah, I think you'd enjoy it. Yeah. I think you'd enjoy it. I must say, like, I definitely, it was the first time I was like, should I be on IMAX

for this? Like, would that be better? I don't even. It's supposed to be. That's what everybody says. I want to see it in a giant screen. It gave me a reverence for the people people that fly these planes which i had before but it just sort of is like the level of danger it's just it's unfathomable it's unfathomable

yeah what they're doing these fighter pilots you're you're literally fighting other people that are also in jets and you're shooting missiles at each other is that not fucking mind-blowing it's a fucking mind blower did you hear about how the opening jet is computer-generated? And it's not real? The first one, remember when Tom Cruise was trying to get... Yeah, you can't go that fast. He was trying to get to 10, right? Yeah.

But that China started investigating it because they were worried we really had it? 10 Gs is the thing. Because you didn't see it. He gets on a plane that goes 10 Gs. Where does most planes go? I think no one has really. At least in. It depends on what you're doing, the maneuvers.

Because, like, you can bank and you'll hit, like, heavy Gs. It's not a matter of, like, straight force acceleration, like, straightforward acceleration. But in banking, when they take heavy turns, that's when you hit big time Gs. And they actually show a lot of it in the movie about how when you turn your lungs collapse, so you actually can't breathe as well, and a lot of it was how you have to learn how to breathe, and he's running on a

treadmill with less oxygen. I flew with the Blue Angels. Yeah, I went up in a flight with the Blue Angels. We went at 7.5 Gs. It's wild. The feeling's wild. I had a bit a flight with the Blue Angels. We went at 7.5 Gs. It's wild. The feeling's wild. Like, I had a bit about it in, like, the early days. It's like when you are flying and you're in a jet, you're going so fast that your brain, all the blood is squeezing out of your brain. So you have to do this thing called hooking where you hold on to, like, a fucking whatever, the post, the joystick.

And you got to go like this. Hoots, hoots, hoots, hoots. And you're forcing blood into your head to try to stay awake. Jesus, man. Yeah. And while I was doing this, I was doing this with a pilot. The pilot's in front. I'm behind him.

And I hear him doing it. And I'm like, oh, my God, he's fucking blacking out. So like you're everything is getting like narrower and narrower and you're fighting it off by doing this hooking thing like like that's what you're doing that's wild yeah that shit scares me i i like scuba diving like i loved like i i i don't think i'm cut out for it but i i enjoy the how you're breathing is how you descend you know like you really have to be in control of your. It's all breathing. That's right.

You know, and if you're doing short breaths, you know, so it's a way to kind of really be conscious of your breath. But I remember being like, oh, God, I just that's a way to be in tune with your breath. But I don't like the feeling of being above where humans are supposed to be or below. Yeah. The jet thing is wild because we weren't doing it with, we didn't have a G suit on. Like they don't use G suits. The Blue Angels don't. But I guess some pilots, they have like a type of suit that mitigates the G forces. But the guy, the pilot that I was with, he's gone to nine Gs.

He can tolerate nine Gs, which is nine times your body weight. They're all jacked, too. That's what's interesting. All those pilots are like these. I think they're all under six feet tall, and they're all like super stocky because you have to have like muscle to like. Yeah, it's like being in a race car. I had no idea that when you're racing cars, you also have to be in crazy shape. It wasn't 10 Gs.

It was Mach 10. It was 10 times the speed of sound. So that's why it's a little bit of a stretch. That makes sense. That makes sense. That makes sense. Now, they do have jets now that are hypersonic. But Mach 10, what is like the fastest hypersonic jet that they have? Because they, have you ever seen the videos of when they break the sound?

Six times. Mach 6. You ever seen when they break the speed of sound? What happens? It's like it's going through clouds. It's a wild thing. It's visual. You could see as a jet is going through the speed of sound, like you actually, it's like

there's a break in the air. Did, um. From like the sonic. Elan, Elan. So look at that. Whoa! Yeah, that's what it looks like when a jet goes faster than the speed of sound. Dude, that's fucking crazy.

Crazy. Did Elon and Bezos, when they went up, did they break the speed of sound? Well, Bezos went up. Elon doesn't go up. Oh, I don't... Because Elon's smart enough to just make rockets. Right, right, right, right. Stay down.

I know you love the neural link thing. I know you have thought about quite a bit. Would you do it if it was available tomorrow? I think you have to do it once it gets implemented or you're in trouble. The problem is it's like if you, it's like not being on the internet today.

Which is the smartest person in the room. Well, that Heinmo in the Arctic Adventure, as long as he's in Alaska, he doesn't have to be on the internet. He's not getting canceled anytime. He doesn't have this photo of a Halloween costume floating around. But if you're living in a world where everyone's brain is connected to this neural link, and this neural link has changed the amount of the bandwidth, your access to information. It's completely different than it would be at any other time.

I know he's your friend, but my brain always wants to go to the joke version of Neuralink. And I can't help but think that he has to invent things to solve his own problems. own problems and he's like so busy and has so many you know women to have kids with or something that like just he had to solve the problem of a girl going what are you thinking about ah he was like we need to start a company to solve that right so i never have to talk to tell anyone what i'm thinking about because this is a guy's most annoying thing it's like what I'm thinking about. That's funny. Because it's a guy's most annoying thing. It's like, so what are you thinking about? That's funny. But I also worry that like, I feel like my first thought about anything is awful.

Like our first thought is going to be either a fight or flight reaction, some conditioned thing, some, you know, it's like. Your first thought with that thing?

And then my second one, like this is going to, it is what it is. Like, I remember I was on a plane once and a female pilot walked on. And I was like, uh-oh. Like, that was my first reaction.

Because you don't see it a lot. I'm obviously don't, I'm not anti-female. Like, obviously that's a good thing. But my brain was like, uh-oh. And then you go, wait, no. She probably had to work twice as hard to get half as far. And, you know, like, we're good. But my immediate reaction, maybe it's because I'm a comedian.

Maybe it's whatever. Some internalized sexism. But, like, I don't want anyone to know what my, we're good. But my immediate reaction, maybe it's because I'm a comedian, maybe it's whatever, some internalized sexism. But, like, I don't want anyone knowing my first thought about anything. Like, I don't want anyone seeing my first thought about their baby before I say, like, so cute. I'm sure that is what it is, that you're a comedian. I'm sure that's the uh-oh. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, it's, like, normal.

Yeah. Okay. But won't it just, I'm sorry to to be dumb but won't it just be like he's hot, he's hot, she's hot, she's hot like. Yeah that's gonna happen too but that's gonna happen with everybody. I don't think that's bad. I think we're just gonna understand that that's how people think. But if I'm like mad

at my spouse. Right. And I'm kind of like I don't want like I don't want to I'm gonna choose my battles whatever and if I'm just like yeah good. No they're gonna know now. And if I'm just like, yeah, good. No, they're going to know now. Yeah. I just feel like we've really managed to stay above water as a species with a delicate balance of lies and omissions. Well, I think we'll have a better understanding of what is really going on in people's heads. Some people are going to be able to handle it.

Some people aren't. And that's really what it's going to be like. It's going to be, it's going to be able to handle it. Some people aren't. And that's really what it's going to be like. It's going to be, it's going to separate a lot of people. It's going to give people an understanding of how other people really truly feel about them. And you're going to be able to communicate according to Elon without words. But I also worry that a lot of our feelings are completely invalid and you know, feelings aren't facts, whatever. Like if you just move through something, I think that's one of the biggest problems today. Someone has a feeling and they say it's a fact. I'm uncomfortable. I'm upset, which is everyone

needs to get in line. It's like, no, this is a feeling. You need to tolerate the discomfort and then take an appropriate action when the feeling has worn off, you know? So I just worry that like, you know, I like when you're in a relationship, some days you're like, I fucking hate you, dude. I fucking hate you. And then the next day I'm like, I love you. I was just in a, had I like put that on record and made it any more permanent,

like, oh, that was just me. I was hungry. I was- Right, but maybe part of the problem is that the communication between two people is so crude because it's just words and people manipulate those words, try to give an impression of the person that's not accurate. You know, there's,

there's a lot going on with human communication that would be solved if we could read minds. There's an incredible book that I was actually, um, uh, wrote a script with him to do the TV show, uh, called super sad, true love story. It's by Gary Steingartingart. Dystopian satire. It's like he's kind of like Mike Judge, but a writer. He did Little Failure, Russian debutante's handbook. He's so brilliant. And he wrote this book 10 years ago about takes place roughly like 40, 50 years from now. And it's about is it possible to fall in love with someone if you already know everything about them ie you meet someone you already know their genetic weaknesses what they're you know predisposed to get this person is predisposed to get cancer and this and this do I really want to procreate with this person if they have all these like

you know genetic issues you know their their credit score which by then will be a social credit score will be like how much do people just like you and in China has bought America in this version of the dystopian satire um it's got your blood pressure it's got all your health stats on something called an app or apparat is how it's pronounced like can you ever truly fall in love with someone if you're not able to have a little bit of cognitive dissonance you know right if you know that they have all these predisposed genetic conditions that could fuck your kid up, why would you stay with them? Yeah.

Or just sort of like, that's the kind of thing where tell me in six months when I'm already in love with you. And then it's like. Maybe, isn't that like a kind of like a eugenics, right? Kind of. It'll sort of encourage eugenics in a way because those people, people are not going to want to breed with them because it's going to be all transparent.

But like in, you know, in 30 years, like when you meet someone, will you be able to Google them and look at every text they've ever sent or look at every photo they've ever taken? And when you know, all of us see all of their medical records,

you know, it could get to that. It could get to that. It could get to that. I was, it probably will. I mean, what you're looking at, right., is all like bottlenecks for information.

And if something happens where they do create a neural link and there's no bottleneck anymore, the amount of information that's out there is accessible to everybody at all times at any time. There's nothing like I got to Google it. It's there instantaneously. There's nothing like I got to Google it. It's there instantaneously, it's just gonna it's gonna change the world in as profound a way as the internet changed the world and in a weird way maybe the saving grace is Also concurrently we're having more and more distrust of photos and videos because of all the deep faking photoshopping So at least you're able to to be like oh well that's fake yeah you know at least people will question it even when it's

real you might think it's fake no because you're going to be able to read minds there's not going to be any questioning whether or not someone really thinks someone so something rather when you're in the mind reading will you be able to lie to yourself and it come up as what i'm actually thinking i think you'll be able to see if someone's lying to themselves. Based on, I mean, Huberman is probably who can really explain how this would all sort of happen because it just seems, you know, it seems so, so, I guess maybe because my brain and our friends' brains are so cluttered. Right, right, right.

That it's just like so many thoughts at once. Right. are so cluttered right right right that it's just like so many thoughts at once right well i think you're gonna get to a point where the technology emerges and then we're gonna be able to see what people are thinking and then as time goes on you're going to be able to see whether or not someone's thinking something that's valid or whether or not they've thought this through or whether or not they're childish and foolish whether or or not they're selfish, whether they're charlatans, whether or not they're con men. I mean, how many women are getting duped out of millions of dollars by assholes that that'll

never happen in the future? Because a woman will meet a guy and she'll go, oh, that's a fake Rolex. Oh, you're a fucking fraud. You're a con man. Oh, look at that. So con men will be gone. So that's the one thing. I don't know what they're going to do,

those scammers online, the Nigerian scammers. There'll be no good documentaries left. Yeah, Tinder Swindler was a very good one. Yeah, those kind of people are going to be gone, right? Because everyone's going to have Neuralink or you won't have Neuralink and you'll get duped and then you'll have to get it. And then your kid's going to be telling you,

mom, fucking get it. Just take it. Take the Neuralink. So what happens as a parent? I'm sure there'll be an age where Neuralink is allowed, you know, but if you see something, you know, not so salubrious that your child is thinking, like, you know, I'm going to beat up some kid or like, do you intervene like that to know everything your kid is thinking before they're fully formed as adults yet? Well, who knows how many conflicts will be resolved just based on two people being able to being able to understand exactly what the other person's thinking instead of having this like, well, fuck you. Fuck you. Yeah. Maybe people will be able to communicate in a way where you can resolve conflicts before they ever happen

which is honestly to me as i you know mature as an adult it's like i do feel like more and more every day i realize that so much is not about what you're saying but how you're saying it oh yeah that's that's a lot of it and whether or not the person you're talking to thinks that you're considering their feelings whether or not you've expressed yourself in a way that they know that you care about them feelings, whether or not you've expressed yourself in a way that they know that you care about them, or whether or not you're just blurting things out because it's self-serving,

and then you don't care about the other person's feelings. Like when you're in a relationship or any kind of a friendship and someone doesn't give a fuck how you feel about things, that sets the tone for all of your interactions from then on forward. Because you're always going to know this person person this is like a shallow kind of shitty person who doesn't genuinely care yeah about me yes you know those are bad relationships like but if the yeah snide comments little backhanded remarks like that kind of shit toxic so toxic yeah and it's it is odd because i guess maybe I'm

using this as a way to anesthetize as we look at people's behavior right now and to feel better about it. But I also think people lie to themselves. I think denial, this is something I want to ask Huberman about, like what is denial? Cause I see people that are in denial and I'm like, is this ego? Is it a conscious choice? Like, do you know that you're lying to yourself? Is this a mental illness? We haven't figured out how to, you know, wrangle. But you know, when people are just so delusional about the reality around them. And I'm like, I think the number of lies you tell yourself to get up in the morning is like the litany of lies you have to tell yourself to get through the day. Really? Like denial. Like what kind of lies?

Like, you know, this is where I think I've read the most about it is when a parent, when a child has had any kind of abuse within the family and a parent knows about it but can't deal, like can't acknowledge that it happened because it would just be too upsetting, angering to them. And so they're just like in denial about it. You know, like, like I feel like we're in a little bit of a denial about the Catholic church thing. Cause it's just, oh yeah.

People still go to church. Like that's kind of crazy. Like the, do you know what I'm saying? I was just in, uh, in Italy. Right. And when you're in Italy and you go to the Vatican, they send them over there from here. If they, do you know that the age of consent used to be 12 in the Vatican? Okay.

Yeah. The Vatican? Okay. Yeah. The Vatican's its own country. We just found, who pulled that up the other day? We did. But whose idea, who let us know? The Trigonometry Podcast. Oh, yeah. Okay.

I guess we had child labor back then. I guess kids were kind of thought of as adults. No, no, no. Consent, sexual consent, 12. They just recently changed it from 12 to 18 in Vatican City. I mean, it's literally a country inside of a city. It's only 100 acres. And the law does not apply outside at all. No extradition. And it's filled with pedophiles. And in I was trying to write a joke about this. I never could really. It made people

too uncomfortable or something. I think I could crack it maybe for the next hour. But it was when when a priest here molested child, they just send him over to the vatican to live there and he's protected forever and um like i don't i don't want to molest a kid but like if i get a free trip to italy like it feels kind of like an incentive they're like if you molest one kid you get to live in italy forever well you have to live inside the vatican and never leave like theatzinger, the last Pope, he can't leave the Vatican. Like they wanted, that guy was wanted for crimes against humanity. Make sure that's correct. There was something about what he had done.

One of the things that Ratzinger had done, he was in charge of taking people that had molested kids and moving them. So instead of having them arrested and turning them in, he moved this one guy to a place where he went on to molest 100 deaf kids. Yeah, so that was the Pope, you know? Can't. Yeah, and so this new Pope, Francis, is supposed to be more progressive,

and he's sort of more of a pope in the modern sense did you see the under the banner of heaven uh the mormon documentary no i think it is so wild that this is gonna get me a dart in the neck or something there's so much fear around the mormon church like watching it it's right now this these men are marrying 15 year old girls and right now yeah it might tell me if i'm wrong allegedly well we've got to get to the rat singer thing first oh good night sorry but um when they have like friday night like events where the girls will be in their dresses and they sing a song it's called be sweet they go be sweet be sweet just be sweet. Just so dark. And they're 15 years old?

They're literally, I mean, sometimes younger. And dads, like, willingly give their kids, like, their girl. It's psychotic. Like, I don't understand why we're not all just storming Salt Lake City and getting these girls out. It's shocking to me. That's all happening now? What did you find out about Ratzinger? me that's all happening now um what'd you find out about ratzinger i mean yeah he's the first pope to resign since like the 1400s yeah before death uh prior to 2001 the primary responsibility

for investigating allegations of sexual abuse and disciplining the perpetrators rested with individual diocese 2001 ratzinger convinced john convinced John Paul II to put the congregation for the doctrine of the faith in charge of all sexual abuse allegations. According to John L. Allen, Ratzinger in the following years acquired familiarity with the contours of the problem that virtually no other figure in the Catholic Church can claim. Driven by that encounter with what he would later refer to as filth in the church, Ratzinger seems to have undergone something of a conversion experience throughout 2003-2004. From that point forward, he and his staff seemed to be driven by a convert zeal to clean up the mess.

What does that mean? It just goes on to talk about. All those different issues. Yeah. The problem with this is like, you don't know who fucking wrote this. And you don't know. What are we doing? Cardinal, Pope.

This is Wikipedia. What are we doing? Well, they're all creeps. Why do you have names? Like you're LARPing. Yeah. In medieval times. Like just be serious. It's like it's got this ancient sort of tradition connected to it. names like we are LARPing yeah in medieval times like the promise like

it's got this ancient sort of tradition connected to it so nothing goes on in your head when you're putting on that hat you're not like do I still need to be right like what are you doing did you have much religion in your like growing up at all yeah for like a little bit when I was young I went to Catholic school for first grade i look back at that and i'm i'm not trying to like make a like big statement about it but i look back and i'm like yeah i went to catholic school when i was younger and like there's something weird about realizing that you're kind of part of like a like a sexy idea without knowing like catholic school girl like that's such a thing oh yeah and before you even realize that you're just like you know we'd always roll our skirts up and walk and you're like oh I didn't

even realize I was probably so looked at like sexually before I even understood what it meant well there was a narrative when I was in high school the girls that went to Catholic school were hornier taking the butt yeah well really well because so you don't it's not technically sex oh that was after my time oh but uh the glory days yeah during my high school time girls didn't shave so the butt was like chaos what they they didn't trim their bush there was madness down oh right nobody wanted to stick it in your butt your butt was a mess mess you know like porn changed everything because the okay i lasered everything when i was like 24 so i'm not even sure what it would look like oh i don't have any concept of what now you torched

it forever oh yeah it doesn't grow back i'm freezing um do you see me? I keep sliding off the chair. Porn, it doesn't grow back? I did it at a time when they just took a blowtorch. I mean, it was before the now. Did it scar you? No, it's just I still have a couple little smithers hairs that'll come out. Like a tree after a forest gets burnt down, a little sprout grows up. It'll just be like one long one that I'll have to get. But yeah, I did like seven sessions over like two years.

And I remember I was at the All Ball Tour once and Sarah Silverman, I was like changing in front of her and she was like, Jesus. Like she was just like, God damn. And she was like, as you get older, you're going to wish you had not done that. Why was she saying that? Just as things start to kind of change. She's like, you're going to wish you had not done that. Why was she saying that? Just as things start to kind of change. She's like, you're going to wish that... You're going to wish you had hair?

You're not going to want that to be bald forever. I don't know why that would matter. Well, just, I would imagine things can... I don't know. What were you just showing us? Oh, okay. Utah lawmaker wants to raise legal marriage age to 18. Oh, what's it now?

Okay, there have been thousands of underage marriages in the U.S. since the year 2000, and until recently, more than half of the states didn't set a limit on how young someone could get married if they met criteria like parental approval. But isn't if you're in the Mormon church... Does it say what age it is, though? I think it was the thing I had before, maybe it was like 15. Oh, God. You can marry as 15 with parents in the court, and then 16 to 17-year-olds...

So that's the thing. Can marry with parental permission. Yeah, so under Utah law, people as young as 15 can marry with permission from their parents in the court. But here's the thing. Can marry with parental permission. Yeah. So under Utah law, people as young as 15 can marry with permission from their parents in the court. But here's the thing. Can a 15-year-old marry a 15-year-old or can a 15-year-old marry a 40-year-old? No, they're like 60 years old and they already have like five or six wives. These are the Mormons that practice polygamy. I know a lot of Mormons.

But these are the ones that get in trouble, right? Because you're not allowed to have polygamy in the United States. That's the whole reason why they have those Mormon cults in Mexico. It's called Under the Banner of Heaven. Let's make sure I'm getting it right. The documentary, because I know that was also a book.

But I think something interesting happens when documentaries come out exposing these things now. We all talk about it and we watch it. But I sort of feel like we think because a documentary was made about it, it was like exposed and like, oh, that was handled, right? Yeah. But like, I'm like, I'm still. Do you know that's where Mitt Romney's family's from?

Yes. They all moved to Mexico so they could have a bunch of wives. Bummer. Yeah. His dad was born in Mexico. That's why his dad could never be president. I think it's fine to have many wives as long as they're not 15. Right. You know what I'm saying? I guess. Yeah, it's different. Their dads give them to these older men and it's like a sign of

like you go, you move up like higher in the church. So under the banner of heaven is a true crime tale adapted by milk writer, Dustin Lawrence, Lance Black, from John Krakauer's nonfiction tome. The miniseries layers on some fictional elements to the story and has reignited criticism from members of the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter-day Saints for its portrayal of Mormons as violent and insular. Can you look up Be Sweet? Because that's the motto that they try to, yes.

And Be Sweet, yeah, that should be it. Like a video. I would look for like a video of, it's the girls singing and like it's a Friday night, all the guys are watching these. And that's in that documentary? Yes. And that's, sometimes it just takes seeing one thing to just be like, I can never get that out of my head.

Why don't you look under videos? Look videos, yeah. Well, it didn't seem like this isn't going the right way. Video. Oh, nice. Oh, that is weird. This isn't going to show it. When they sing, I would say B-Sweet Mormon.

This seems like it might be. Yeah, try that and look. Okay. Oh, I don't remember what the final scene was. But it might not be called under the- sweet Mormon. Yeah. Try that and look. Okay. Oh, I don't remember. But it might not be called. Can you imagine if you're like a fucking 35 year old person and you're realizing that you wasted your life in a cult?

Dude. And then you're fucked. And, and. My wife has a friend like that. Be sweet. She was, she was in the Mormons until she was in her 40s, and then she left the Mormons,

and now she openly admits that she's vulnerable to cults and different things because she just was so accepting of stuff. Keep sweet. I'm sorry. I got it wrong. Oh, that's the guy. That's the guy that got busted. Are they going to sing it?

Known as FLDS. It's a far offshoot of the Mormon church and supports the practice of polygamy. The more wives, the more children you have, the higher in heaven you'll be. When you're taught something from birth from your mother and your father, you believe them because they're your parents. It was for our salvation. You did whatever whatever it took even if it was wrong one day my name was brought up and i was to be married i was 14. lauren jeffs took over this religion and turned it into money and power and sex. Young girls were like a commodity owned by the church.

Warren had himself 78 wives. 24 of those wives were underage. We're going to go after the criminals, and we're going to go after the child abusers. To stand up against a multimillion dollar church, you're going up against a lifetime of conditioning and fear. He took their families away, took their homes away. Might as well have just lined them up against the wall and shot them.

You don't fight the priesthood, you don't fight the prophet. But it was so much bigger than just Warren and me. It happens to everybody eventually. You will come around and see the light. We love you. I love all of you. And go, what the f***? Keep sweet, pray and obey.

And it's on Netflix. So that's out now? June 8th. Yeah. And you're watching the girls saying keep sweet. It's so wild. Yeah. Would they say you had 70- 78, 24 underage?

What the fuck? But it's also, it's like, there's something interesting. Like, what would have to happen for that to stop? Like, the documentary's not going to be enough. It's just going to be more people know about it, and it's still just going to keep going on, I guess. I guess there's no- Well, didn't they, they arrested that to stop. Like the documentary is not going to be enough. It's just going to be more people know about it and it's still just going to keep going on I guess. Well didn't they arrest that one guy? He got arrested. But the people keep practicing the same way?

But do you think in your mind you really believe that or you're like I just want to be able to marry young girls? Or in your mind you're like this is actually what God wants. Like are they that brainwashed or are they using that to just justify? It's shocking to me that someone would be more Well it's not written anywhere that God wants. Like, are they that brainwashed or are they using that to just justify it? It's shocking to me that someone wouldn't be more so. It's not written anywhere that God wants that. It's not written anywhere that God wants you to have 70 something wives. So these are people that

are just using this to justify gross shit. Well, I think that just ultimately happens when someone's running a cult. Yeah. When you've got a bunch of people and they're living their lives, their lives based on you preaching at a pulpit and the way you're saying things and taking all their money and fucking their wives. Like that's a big part of all cults is sex. It's so anathema to I think comedian brains because our thing is question everything. Even something you subscribe to, you constantly should question. If you're a Republican or Democrat, you should constantly be questioning your own party and

the other party. It's so weird to me to just be like, oh yeah, this guy's in power. He must know what he's talking about. But there's so many people out there that don't want to question things. They just want someone to sort of carve a path for them and guide them. And if you think that it's because of God, which is like the perfect justification for you to follow some wacky stuff. is like the perfect justification for you to follow some wacky stuff isn't it like a drug basically i mean it's like a it's like an anesthesia it's a way to just sort of go unconscious to go offline to be like you know like i was watching um hulu as a documentary on this cult leader her

name was teal swan and it sort of i've heard that name before it's wild it's she started this cult just kind of not a doctor, not a scientist. And it's the kind of thing where you're like, oh, if someone wants to be a part of this or doesn't see through it, maybe they should be here. What is her cult? It's about she was sexually abused. She comes from a satanic cult. And then she does therapy to help you face your traumas which right now there's a lot of that out there where people are sort of pretending to be these like trauma healers when

they have no medical degrees they have no they're just kind of on instagram and they're like you know write a letter to your inner child and don't talk to you know it's just sort of people that are broken um just kind of people that are broken just kind of being magnetically attracted to someone who is like a narcissist who's gonna promise them like I'm gonna fix you well what someone tells you that they know how to fix you that's always like super compelling to people like I have found the way I found the way out of your problems it's all your trauma and this can be healed you can be healed Like there's not a lot of cult leaders that have, I mean, like who's succeed, like I feel

like it never ends well. Like the jig is going to be up eventually because you're also basically attracting a lot of really mentally ill people that are going to turn on you at some point. It's a dangerous group of people to have around. They can be very loyal, but when they turn on you, they're going to spend their whole life, you know, dedicated to taking you down

because of that vengeance, that sort of need. And this teal swan lady, did they take her down? The documentary filmmakers followed her for three years, pretending they were, like, into her.

Oh, really? Yeah. And, uh, very active on YouTube still, I bet. She also did videos after each episode aired, like debunking the videos. But it makes her look terrible. The documentary makes her look terrible.

Yeah, it makes her look terrible. I mean, terrible. I feel like someone from this organization may have reached out. No, you're in the, she does, I think your name does come up. My name comes up? In the documentary, someone says like, oh, you should do Joe Rogan. And she's – I think your name does come up. My name comes up? In the documentary, someone says, like, oh, you should do Joe Rogan. And she's like, yeah, I'd love to. I'm sure. But it's tricky with the cult thing because I think I'm –

So what is – like, what is she doing? She's basically doing something that is not – so EMDR is something that I think you have a lot of friends that have done. I've done it. I think Neil Brennan talked about it when he came on is a trauma therapy that was developed, I think, for Vietnam War veterans. It's about when you're traumatized. You know what it is. Look it up. But she's kind of trying to do the version that's not professional, which is that whatever your biggest trauma was, you were molested, you were raped or whatever. Let's go back there and work through it. This is the only way to heal it. And then there's other people at the retreat who are not doctors, who are not trained anyone,

just other people at the retreat. We're all going to act out the characters in your life. Oh, Jesus. So Joe, your dad, you know, you were in a fight one time and it traumatized you when you were six. Great. You're going to be young Joe. I'm going to be your dad, you know, you were in a fight one time and it traumatized you when you were six. Great. You're going to be young Joe. I'm going to be your dad.

Lindsay, this random girl from Tampa, is going to be, who's fucking nuts, is going to be your mom. And Taylor over here, this fucking trust fund asshole from L.A., is going to be your sister or whatever. And now, ready, go. And we're going to reenact the scene. And I'm like, Joe, don't. And it's like bad acting. It's kind of hilarious to watch if you're not. This is in the documentary?

Yes. It's kind of bad acting? And then they stop the scene. Joe, now you're sobbing because of whatever power of suggestion or whatever you already predisposed to sort of be weak and, you know, or you want to, whatever the reason, unstable maybe. And then the person that acted, I acted as your dad, and this person acted as your mom, they go like, I felt like there was vibes of like, I wanted to, like, I think I've molested

you before. Did you? Oh, again, another life? No, like, I was the dad. So I thought his thoughts. And your dad abused you. What? I was the dad. So I thought his thoughts. And your dad abused you. What? Swear to God.

And they're like, that is so fucking irresponsible. Like, just random people are just improvising in, like, a shitty acting class diagnosing your family. Oh, my God. And then the person is like, yeah, I think maybe he did. Oh, my God. And then they're like. So then they're mad at that person? Yes.

Like, that person is your dad? People that aren't even professionals are telling, like, I i think this person there was some sexual abuse in your family based on what you know it's it's just wildly irresponsible because of how vulnerable the people are that subscribe to her why do you think people are so vulnerable to cults like what is it about like someone saying i'm the leader come, come with me, I have the solutions? Like, why are people so vulnerable to that? Well, a couple. I think that church, having grown up with a lot of like religion around me, my mom's side of the family is from a place called Sherman, Texas.

They all worked in the church there. And I think the church in general provides a lot for people that I think we tend to be a little bit classist about. Like, you know, for me growing up, it provided childcare and community and food. And, you know, it's a place to go on Sundays and, you know, have kids out of the house. Like, it served a lot of purposes that now looking back, I'm like, why was I in churches so much as a kid? I'm like, my parents weren't that religious. They just needed a place to leave me for a couple hours, you know, which the irony is you go like Catholic churches are safe, right? For girls, they are, I guess. They kind of are for girls, which is weird, right? Yeah. And I think on some level you go like, I think smart parents go discipline is good,

you know, which I think, you know, so it's like Catholic, this is good. You know, there's a uniform. You don't have to get kids all these clothes. There's not all this confusion about what to what, you know, it just makes things kind of easier for parents on some level. I think that in general, humans are vulnerable in both ways. Like, I think about this a lot that humans are in, you're going to probably have a lot to add to this, which is that we're kind of only superficially at the top of the food chain. Like, we're not, we can get killed by a bee. Some people die from a bee, you know? Like we are so vulnerable all the time. I mean, any animal, if we lost our opposable thumbs or, you know, had a, and they were

let out of a cage, we'd be dead. I mean, most, a lot of animals can kill us. I mean, a tick can kill you, you know, if it's carrying the right diseases, you know? And I think we know that. I think subconsciously, like we're aware that we're on borrowed time and that we're so much more fragile than than we think and I think that that connects to our brain as well and I think the idea of having any kind of protection even if it's false whether it's a cult and we're all a family and I think is something that's really attractive to people because it

makes them feel like they have strength in numbers are a part of a tribe and have some kind of protection even though they're in the belly of the beast of danger. The irony is that they're... I think very few people are actually in danger of other animals. I think when in terms of us being on the top of the food chain, we most certainly are by a long shot. But if there were no weapons... But the thing is, there's a balance.

And the balance is that we're physically very, very vulnerable and weak in comparison to most animals. Like if most animals want to attack another animal, it takes a lot of work for a lion to bring down a water buffalo. It's a lot of work. A lion to bring down us is like that. It's instantaneous. We're made out of jello. We just fall apart. We're jello and twigs.

Trash bags full of blood. But I think that the uncertainty of life is what it's about. That's what, when a call comes along, that's the same thing that a religion offers you. Like certainty. Like we have the answers. Here are all the answers. I'm going to alleviate you of all your anxiety. Because one of the things, there's someone, I forget who I was reading this, they were

saying that one of the things about human beings, we have anxiety because anxiety is future problem solving. So we think about things and problems that are going to happen in the future. Well, someone comes along and says, I've got all the answers. They can alleviate you of that anxiety. And all you have to do is have this willingness to believe. Just be in bliss. Let me take that off your plate. Let me make it so you don't have to perseverate constantly.

I'm very pro-anxiety. I make it so you don't have to perseverate. Right. I'm very pro anxiety I think I'm sorry. I don't mean like things. I mean, I know so many people especially like younger people like I have anxiety I'm like, right should you should that's a healthy reaction. Have you seen the news? Like no, there was just an article that said how to protect yourself from nuclear war like yeah You see that New York thing when they're like they made a video that New York thing where they're like they they made a video about if a nuclear war hits New York like how to protect yourself like what like how much money are the news organizations hemorrhaging that they had to just post that they are in trouble they're in real trouble like the Wall

Street Journal just wrote a bullshit hit piece about Elon where you know they said that he was having sex with the Google chief's wife. Oh, right, right, right. And he was like, first of all, it's not true. I've only seen her like three times over the last few years, and every time has been with a lot of people around. Second of all, this guy that's supposed to be my no longer friend, he goes, I was just hanging out with him last night. So you guys are making shit up.

Oh, he posted a photo. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you guys are making things up. And also, the Wall Street Journal didn't contact any of the people involved. Of course not. Which is fucking wild. I mean, I'm sure this.

Just that alone. This is the Wall Street Journal. This is not. That is crazy. This is not, like, you know, from some fucking tabloid website. Because we've always, I do like to play the exercise of everything that's happening today always existed. It just looked different.

You know? Like, we did used to have, like, the Inquirer, remember? Sure. And all those trash magazines and but they were like my son's a werewolf what do i do the alien remember the kid with the teeth that was born an alien like i love that shit but those were fun but like you know whenever people are like the negative comments i'm getting the people are so disgusting now i'm like i like humans have always uh participated and gotten entertainment out of like Schadenfreude, like the Roman Coliseum.

People used to go to public hangings like. Oh, yeah. For entertainment. For sure. So that Twitter is just kind of an extension. Like I like to play with that idea. Well, what Twitter is, is people saying things where you could read it, where they've always said. Whenever someone has been successful or something's gone on the news, people have always had hot on it at the barber shop at the fucking beauty salon at the gym people have always talked about

it but now they're talking about it in typed form and they're putting it out on twitter and it goes out in the world yeah it's fascinating to to think about that and just like all the fears like fear robots like there was also remember um i was reading something about the fear of trains like when trains first started people were thought that they would get electrocuted. They'd be infertile if they rode on a train. They had the same irrational technophobia fears with them. I mean, it's obviously a small group of people. Elevators. When new technology comes, it does feel weird. Right. There's a lot of people that are scared of AirPods. They're worried about the EMF

signals, and maybe they're right. Or maybe it's just going to be like what trains back then, they thought that if you go more than 35 miles an hour, you fucking compress and explode. Remember in, I guess this was, I don't know, late 90s, I mean, cancel culture and shut, the Simpsons. Remember how big that was? Like, got to get Simpsons off the air. Tipper Gore was coming after Eminem. They were trying to get Beavis and Butthead off the air.

I don't remember. They were trying to get the Simpsons off the air? Oh, there was, Bart Simpson was like a very controversial figure, I think, back in the day. Tell me if I'm wrong. God, I don't remember that at all. I mean, I believe you, but I don't remember it. There was like, remember, and Tipper Gore didn't want certain. So tame now it's isn't a while to think about like we've always as the species worried about the influence of something incendiary or edgy or contaminating our kids or something like there's always been i remember tipper gore going after rap music yep she she's who isn't she who caused parental advisory yeah they put that on because

of her yeah but emin Eminem was, I mean. But you imagine before rap was around, like gangster rap, and then all of a sudden it comes around, like NWA and Ice-T and all that shit, and you're like, what? You're talking about shooting people? Mm-hmm. You've got a song called Fuck the Police. But then we can do a song that's like, hit me with your best shot. Or, on the good chip that's more offensive i did i mean this is i love bruce springsteen but i did do a joke about this

in my special of like hey little girl is your dad yeah i'm really good did he go and leave you all alone i got a bad desire oh Oh, I'm on fire. What the fuck, man? Like, buddy. When did you sing that? Do you remember that Rod Stewart song? It was like, you'll be a woman. Is it that one?

It was like, spread your legs wide open. Well, they all had songs about like 16-year-olds. Insane. Yeah. But the videos were wild too kiss had a song christine 16 remember were you dave matthews person or no no i knew that was gonna go that way but there is that song um hike up your skirt a little more you went to a couple crash into me And I come into you

Yeah, that would just When you Every now and then You're like singing along To a song You're like, damn That's wild Yeah

Everybody was kung fu But You're like, shit The song Semi-Triumphant Life By Third Eye Blind It's like about drug abuse Is it? It's such an upbeat

Poppy song Do-do-do-do-do-do But if you read the words He's talking about doing drugs And the girl likes drugs They should have done about drug abuse. Is it? It's such an upbeat, poppy song. Do, do, do, do, do, do. But if you read the words, he's talking about doing drugs and the girl likes drugs. They should have done more drugs to make that song cooler. I mean, there's so many stories of that, right?

Where people are escaping reality together. I mean, that was Barfly. Remember that movie? It's actually about crystal meth. Oh, Jesus Christ. Wow, wow, wow. Yeah, that makes sense. Did those folks, did anybody from that band die?

I don't think so. Third Eye Blunt, was that their only? That was their biggest. Not only. They had the one about Suicide Jumper, Jump Off That Ledge. This was a, oh, Get Back From That Ledge, My Friend. Dude, I mean, I remember the first song that like haunted me or felt like, you know, was Pearl Jam, Jeremy. Jeremy Spoke.

And I was like, yo, this is about a kid blowing his brains out. Yeah. Like that was like, that was really intense. Yeah. What was that song? Better Man. Can't find a better man. God, I love him so much. He was, I asked your first crush. He was that song? Better man. Can't find a better man. God, I love him so much.

He was, I asked your first crush. He was definitely my first crush. He tried to take on ticket master. Remember that recently? Yeah. They tried to take on ticket master and it crushed their business because they were like, why is ticket master getting all this money?

Like, why are we paying all this money to them? We're going to, we're going to fucking stop that. I thought the ticket buyer pays it. Well, I guess it comes out of his. Well, I think they were trying to stop that from happening. They wanted a relationship where the fan pays $20 and they get the $20, not the fan pays $40 and Ticketmaster gets $20 and they get $20.

I heard Schultz just buy back their albums. What do you think of what he did? I love, I love it. It's interesting, right? I love it. I mean, like- Bought his stuff back and released it for free or released it rather for a fee. Yeah.

And I think that, you know, it's, I think that we're kind of at a place where, you know, we don't, comedians don't love change. We like doing things the way we did it. And now I found I find I've been so resistant to new things. And I'm now just like, I don't want to get on Instagram. That's dumb. I don't want to. And then you are like, this isn't going away. You just have to ride the horse in the direction it's going. And like every platform might be really hot the next year. It's not. And then or it's gone. Remember, there was like CISO and TBS and Comedy Central.'s like used to like how long was CISO around for a year max what was Quibi was that what the one they put billions into yep but that honestly Jeffrey

Katzenberg's a gangster I mean he started DreamWorks like he based it on the South Korean model which was already doing that and kind of was like oh like they're so ahead of us on so many things they're consuming three minutes at a time but I think that now it's like oh we just want three minutes of Rogan talking to his friend. They didn't have the content what they didn't I thought that was so flawed from the beginning

because they were trying to hire people to make content like you don't know if the content's good like the only way people are tuning in is if it's good content you don't know if you have good content yet but you're spending all this money and you don't know if the content's good like the only way people are tuning in is if it's good content you don't know if you have good content yet but you're spending all this money and you don't have like certified content yeah it's a terrible idea you're also i don't know what this says about me i i will not watch the best show on television because i don't want to enter in numbers like as soon as you're like sign up for a pass i'm just like peace like not worth it i'll wait till I can

just look. It's on another platform. If I have to go to a new network just to... A new platform. Yes. I have to really want it because that, putting your email and a password, I'm like, never mind. Yeah, I've got Amazon Prime. I've got Netflix.

I've got HBO Max. I've got Hulu. Showtime? I think I have that. Well, I got it for the Oliver Stone documentary. Oh, I have it. I have it because I got it for the JFK thing. Because he was coming on to talk about that. But that's it. I'm out.

If you come up with a new one, I'm like, I can't do that. I'm at capacity on passwords. I'm at capacity on platforms at the moment. It's just something new every day so in terms of shoals I think it's like he was it when he went did the thing at Netflix for that um the Christmas thing he did the year and review like that was perfect and then sort of the algorithm started maybe not doing what he want and then do that and then he might go back you know I think we just have to stay flexible

but if you own your own shit that's the key So this special I just did I financed it so that if things change in two years I can always I'll own it So you just did a licensing deal with Netflix. Yes interest. So if Joe Rogan Comedy mothership comm ends up being the next Comedy Network, I'll be like great I can you know, give it to Joe I can put it on YouTube I can put it whatever the big thing is in two years, whichakepaul.com i don't fucking know wherever we're gonna have right our content in two years i don't think we even know no i don't think we know either it's um the the censorship thing is the most disturbing right because you just don't want you don't want your thing to be watered down

just because someone thinks they're gonna make a couple extra bucks if it is. It's the opposite. You're going to make way more if it's not. That's the irony. Yeah. You know, they're learning that now, but it's a slow process of education. They're learning that now through podcasts. Yeah.

Yeah. And there's the difference between like censored podcasts and uncensored podcasts in terms of reach. It's pretty crazy. Yeah. podcast in terms of reach it's pretty crazy yeah but i think that you know netflix i think that to go like oh comedy is not doing as well i don't think it's because you're not censoring things do you know they're making terrible choices well they they did censor well they they made a terrible choice when when carmen central started sliding was when they went after ari and they killed this is not happening which is one of the best shows they had on the network so good because

ari wanted to do a netflix special and they said no you have to do a comedy central special he's like but that's not contractually true yeah like i don't have a contract with you guys i'm allowed to do a netflix special and they said if you do we're gonna cancel your show and so he was like fuck which is weird to me because that's i i had a uh show at amazon a couple years ago with lisa kudrow and martin shore and lee daniels and all the actors it was at amazon and they were like if you work at amazon you can't do shows at netflix or if you're netflix you can't do shows amazon it's like that's like the old studio system from the 20s when it was like Warner Brothers would buy Joe Rogan like that. You have to pay.

You have to pay me such a make it worth it then. But not only that, Amazon or other Netflix was paying Ari more. Of course. Like Comedy Central wanted to pay him less to do something on Comedy Central because he had a show on Comedy Central and they wanted him to stay on it. What else was nettling was I think the comedians for the longest time had this like we should be so lucky thing. Like we'll take no money. Well, whatever it is, just get any exposure, any ticket sales, because there were so few ways to get on TV that we took such garbage deals and didn't understand our own worth. So I remember just seeing I think everyone had this experience where all of a sudden my Comedy Central specials were on Paramount+.

And everyone's like, oh, and I'm like, cool. Like, I didn't even think to say, like, did I get paid for that? Right. Did they sell it to Paramount+. Yes. Yeah, what happened? And then a special that I had on Comedy Central was sold to, that I didn't own, was sold to Netflix. It's all, because as a comedian, you're like, oh, well, that'll help my ticket sales.

Like, how dare you complain? But then you're like, what the fuck, man? This is a bad thing to enable. Like, I should not be cool about this because we will work for free and have no concept of what our value is because people have told us, like, you're a piece of shit for so long. But now I think comedians are starting to realize we have more power than we thought because we were so gaslit to believe, like, you know, we needed all these networks in order to make it and we did for a long time you know god dude like it used to be like how do i get on yeah i remember like um doing the george lopez show when he had a talk show once and i remember i was like borrowing money to get there i'm like if i just kill on this set maybe i can headline penguins you know it's like we need it you know there we had no power yeah you know and you'd see people that were so fucking

funny that couldn't feed their families how freeing is it for you now to have a podcast though it's pretty amazing i i don't think that like youtube i'm a little bit you know i know that it's predominantly like male i don't i know i was talking to Schultz about this and he's like, no, women go on there and they watch makeup tutorials and shit. Like, I think there's, you know, I still get a little bit insecure about that. About the demographics? Or about just going like, oh, can I not get as many people on YouTube or whatever? But yeah, but that might just be my own like insecurity.

I don't think you should think about it at all. Just do what you're doing. Yeah, it's... I don't think anybody should ever think about like how do I get more people. Yeah. Just do your best thing.

Do your best thing and then try to make it better. Don't ever think like how am I getting more people because then you're going to compromise yourself. Right, right. You're going to change

who you are in order to be more outrageous or more this or more that. And that shit becomes transparent to people. If they don't think you're really you, that drives them nuts. you are in order to be more outrageous or more this or more that and that shit becomes transparent to people if they don't think you're really you think that drives them nuts well i think what it is is i try to not with the podcast be like business oriented it's more like when you're like oh you need to tag certain things so you get in the algorithm and you know like i'll get advice

like that and i'm like i i'd rather just not get as many numbers and just have a good time and be authentic i don't want to overthink youtube by putting certain words in the caption that's going I'd rather just not get as many numbers and just have a good time and be authentic. I don't want to overthink YouTube by putting certain words in the caption that's going to make it pop up on the side. Like, I don't want to get into all that. Yeah, fuck that. Yeah, that's just not something I'm particularly good at or interested in. I like to just, like, put it out and never think about it again. Then do that with the demographics, too, and all that other stuff.

People say that. They're like, you have to get more of this and this. Don't listen to those people. I know. Cut them off. That's toxic. Block their numbers. You're taking the thing that is the most joyful.

But I think it's made me a better comedian. It's, you know, made me more thoughtful. I think before I did a podcast, I was so like, you know, you work on something for a year before you let anyone see it. Everything has to be perfect all right time now You just loose you just have conversations you laugh and talk shit. Yeah, it's a skill though I mean, I definitely think the first couple times on this show I was so trained to like you go on a talk show you have seven minutes You're like a manic like psycho. Yeah, like laugh whore like

And it's just so uncomfortable. So it took me a second to just settle in and be like not rushing desperately to try to get a laugh. That's a weird thing when I have people come on and you can feel their nervousness. And I'm like, how do I alleviate that? How do I get them to calm down? It's tricky.

I think that as I do so many other people's podcasts, I think doing other people's podcasts is a skill that you have to learn. Oh, yeah. Doing Bert's, I just did Schultz. I just did Are You Garbage? I just did Legion of Skanks live in New York. Everyone is so different, and you can't go in. It's someone else's home.

You don't have the home court advantage. You're a guest on someone else's show. They're usually not there. They're usually there I think in situations like that to hear their friends, the hosts in combination with you. Isn't it interesting though that that has completely taken

over promotion? It used to be you had to get on the Tonight Show or you had to get on the Kimmel Show. That's gone. They don't want you to do that at all. If you do something, they want you to go on all the podcasts. And they're like, we don't know how to get you on there. Can you DM that? Like they can't even help you. Can't help you. You know? And I mean, yeah, it's like, can you get me on Hot Ones? That is a 100% changing of the guard. 100%.

Yeah. So this last time, you know, this past week I did like Kelly and Ryan or something. And you're like, okay, that's going to be on in like veterinarian's offices in the lobby. It's going to be on, you know what I mean, at the TSA, like, you know, like in the break room. Right. You know. Someone connected to a tube. Stuck in a bed.

On their deathbed, they have to see me and be like, I have Lyme disease. Is Ryan hitting on Kelly? Is that Whitney or Ryan? Who is that? Why is everyone so weird? Can I get more morphine? Just fucking pull the plug. Yeah.

Just drown me in morphine. I can't watch three people forcing jokes on a set. But yeah, I mean, that's really it. Where was that show filmed? New York. So you flew into New York just for that? No, I was doing, well, I did Schultz. I did Are You Garbage?

What a contrast. I know. It was wild to go back and forth from Kelly and Ryan to Legion of Skanks. Oh, that's hilarious. Total mind fuck. I did We Might Be Drunk. I did Bert's podcast when I was there. You know, so yeah, that's really the way to do it at this point.

Yeah, that's the only way. It's pretty wild. Yeah. And you're not even doing stand-up, which is even crazier, because it was also like, I'm going to go do stand-up on Conan. I'm going to do stand-up on, which by the way, I accidentally dressed exactly like Jay Leno in this special. How so? Did you wear a jean shirt?

Yes. Did you? I wore a jean jacket and jeans, and I totally. You didn't realize it while you were doing it? I didn't even jacket and jeans. And I totally. You didn't realize it while you were doing it? Didn't even think about it. Why did you dress that way? I was trying to just go, okay, classic, never going to go out of style. Like, you know, because people now, like my first special from 15 years ago, it's cut up on Instagram.

And I look like a, I look like fucking Peggy Bundy. I look insane. I look insane. I look like such a crack whore. I'm like, okay, I need to dress in a way where if someone watches this

in 10 years, 20 years, it'll still hold up. So I was like, I'll just do like a jean jacket and jeans and everyone's like, you know,

making fun of me that I look like Jay Leno. Yeah. Ah, you look great. Yeah, it's like, I mean.

But you look relaxed. Yeah, thank you. It looks like you doing a regular set somewhere, as opposed to that one where your hair was down, you were like really well made up and everything. The HBO special. Yeah, you went a little hard in the paint on that one. It was like, I'm doing the HBO special.

I'm going to get a stylist. I'm going to like, you know, this is every comic's dream. And I had a lot of voices around me being like, why don't you be more feminine? Like be more of a play, you know, like just do something because I'm kind of a, you know, bull dyke. And that's how I dress. But also I was really, you know, I stand by the material in that special, but I was wearing like heels. I had never worn heels on stage before I did. Oh that had to be odd. It was so odd and I'm you know

I felt like I couldn't be as physical as I normally am. You'd slip around right? Oh yeah I was like worried about falling I was like a fucking Bambi on ice like a fucking idiot and I really yeah I regret I regret not just going you know what this is what I wear every night I'm just gonna wear the nicer version of what I wear every night

you know I think of this you know I do like dressing up a little more going to wear the nicer version of what I wear every night. You know, I think of this, you know, I do like dressing up a little more cause I, I find this whole thing where comedians just wear their pajamas at the wind. Like, can you, can you, would it kill you to put on a fucking like when Tony Hinchcliffe,

Hans Kim and Brian Simpson and I did the MGM last month, we, or this month rather, I guess it was this month. I forgot what month it is. We all got tailored David August suits. I saw that. Yeah.

I thought you guys were all making fun of Lex. I'm kidding. No, we decided to get tailored suits and all wear the same suit. Did you feel weird performing? No, I felt great. It feels kind of cool, right? You know what was great about it? It was like, and Tony brought this up.

He said it was like we had an outfit to change into. Like we showed up dressed like this, like normal clothes. And then we got there and then we put on our work clothes. Like we're ready to go to work. It's like. Yeah, that's us. That's dope. I like it.

Why not? Look at Brian. He's the glasses. That makes me so happy. He looks, look at his feet. He doesn't even know how to stand. Oh, there we go. See, I think there's something cool about being like, yeah, we're putting on our, like, war gear.

It felt good. You know? It felt good. I also think people, you know, people spend a lot of money. Like, you know, it's been a rough time. If someone's going to come spend $100 and get drinks, like, I remember being in Vegas and looking out. And I was in, like, a T-shirt and jeans. Because you don't want anyone to think you think you're better than them. Right don't want to dress up too much I don't want you to think I'm

you know and um and I looked down I saw these women in like like sequin gowns and I was like oh this is your big night out right and I look like I'm on my way to fucking rehab right imagine if you are this is your big night out and someone goes on stage with a notepad and goes, what else? What else? What else is happening? People do that in big shows. There's people that do that in big shows. They'll go on stage and not know what the fuck they're talking about. Do you think, because I have so much judgment about that.

Do you think, though, that their fans are like, oh, this is cool. I get to kind of see them. No. No, I think the fans want to see a show. But it's different between them going up at a small club and working out material. In that case, I think yes. No. No, I think the fans want to see a show. But it's different between them going up at a small club and working out material. In that case, I think yes. Absolutely. Like, I saw Christina at

Creek in the Cave, and she went up with a notebook, and she had just released her special. I was with you. Oh, that's right. I was like, I was with this fucking retard. You're like, I was sitting next to this dumb whore who was cackling the whole fucking time. That was hilarious. That's hilarious. Yeah, yeah.

But we saw her. That was magical. It was really fun. But it was also fun because the audience was in, and the Creek in the Cave is great because it's a very small room. Yeah. So the audience was in on the fact that she was creating this whole new set from scratch. And she let them know yep but true pros know how to go yeah i think that true pros pretend they're

more unprepared than they actually are in a way you know like i'll go out there and i'll have them written down but like don't get it twisted like i i look at the bullet points but i know i'm not gonna ever allow a sloppy show to happen. Right, right, right. But some people do. And that drives people nuts. People have jobs and they're tired. It drives them nuts.

And I get it. I see it from their point. One time I was at the Ice House in Pasadena and there was like a book show, like it was just a bunch of random comics. And I went in to, you know, watch the comic that was going before me. And the comic said to the audience, like, so where are you from, sir? And he was like, oh, you know, Pensacola, whatever. A guy behind him stood up and went, he's from Lake Tahoe. He's from Los Angeles.

He's from Cleveland. Can you please just do some jokes? Whoa. It's crazy. Whoa. And you know, do you have like those moments in your career that like change you forever and you're like boom if you're gonna do crowd work it better be fucking right andrew schultz style dynamite yeah you better be good at it or you better do 20 minutes right then go into

it but that's also the thing what you do in one of those shows where there's 15 other people on the show like if they're killing it and they're doing stand-up and they've got bits and tight bits and then you know you're up there so where you from sir and they're like oh jesus christ yeah what are you doing yeah i i really enjoyed us going to the creek in the cave that night to see christina like i hadn't gone to watch a comment just as right as a i was stunned at how, first of all, loud it was. Like, we're all way funnier than we even know because we're also competing with so much noise. I couldn't believe it. People are opening their fucking butterscotches.

They're on their, like, people are just so distracted. There's so much going on that you're like, oh, she's still killing even though people are having to do 10 other things, you know, which is what I do love about the comedy store. It's so dark in that OR that you really can't do much else. You can only watch the show. Yeah. Well, when we went to see you, that was like the first time I'd seen stand up in a theater in a long time or just going to see somebody. Seeing Christina was like one of the first times I saw anybody in a club.

But I like going to see comedy. I haven't in a long time I hadn't done it in a long time but just being an audience member it gives you a better appreciation for what the audience is sitting through and it yeah makes you tighten your shit up completely and and also pace it up in a lot of ways and you know I just remember sitting there and being like there's so much much going on. Remember we were like hearing like, and that might just be a comedian thing. Cause we're so sensitive to sound, but she didn't even hear it. All the things that were driving me nuts.

She didn't even hear. Right. She's way up there. And also she's got monitors in front of her. So the loud speakers right there. It's weird. Like when we're on stage, it's,

I would love like maybe Huberman will do it like a study of what happens to our brain when you're performing. Cause I find that I get a more acute hearing when i'm on stage but also get more deaf i wonder what if like you could put like sensors on the brain and hook it up to like an fmri machine and have people like have your brain functions monitored because you are you know um uh where did i read that the reason people are so afraid of public speaking is that like on a like a reptile brain it used to be in tribal times if you were talking to a crowd it meant you were like defending yourself yeah you told me that right yeah yeah that's that's really interesting that that's why people are afraid to talk in front

of large groups because usually you're about to get judged yeah you'd have to basically save your ass or like defend yourself before everyone stoned you but But so I would imagine your amygdala is going nuts, but also sometimes you only see light and that's it. Like what does your brain think you're looking at on stage? Yeah. Yeah. Well, when it's really bad, like when you only see light and don't see the crowd, I don't like that. I like seeing a little of the crowd. Yeah. You know, it's like those places where you're flooded, like that's disconcerting. I know.

And you're kind of like, this is, I could be anywhere. I could be in space. What am I concentrating on? Exactly. Yeah. Where are the people? I need to lock into like one person usually. But yeah, it'd be interesting to know what goes on because I, or just in terms of comedians because I always get nervous.

I get nervous in places, but when I'm on stage, I never feel nervous. Really? Ever. Do you feel nervous before you go on stage? Sometimes I'll feel excited. I think one of the biggest challenges we all have is the difference between nervous and excited. Right.

Because they're, they're very close. Nervous is fear. That's what people think is fear. Yeah. Not fear, but definitely like amped up i want to get it right i think if anything is like i just don't forget this and don't forget that and don't zone out and stay stay here like it's just a matter of just good nervousness stay in the pocket yeah i think good i think nervous is good i think it is too this whole fear of anxiety i meet people like

i have anxiety like you should have more anxiety yeah to get more anxious to make your yourself more interesting like why aren't you like, I'm anxious about boring this person. I'm going to go read a book. Like, you're anxious about the wrong things if you think that this is an interesting conversation. Like, you know, so I think anxiety is good. I see it as fuel.

I get excited about it because it's like, oh, we can like alchemize. I can alchemize this into energy. Let me give this to them, you know? And I also get excited about what's going to work, especially with now. This whole thing where everyone's like you can't say anything i i'm excited that there's danger in comedy again yeah there's eggshells again yeah i am too you know it's there's tension whereas i feel like three years ago you couldn't shock anyone it was like it was a lot harder there was sex tape sex tape, pee tape in the news.

Isn't it crazy that three years things changed so much. Things were changing and then the pandemic hit and it just accelerated everything. You just pour gasoline on all of it. Like exponentially. I was thinking about this yesterday. Is there anything in the thought of, um, uh, like we've, we're saving all this time now, right? Like what are we doing with all this time we saved? So it used to be like you would go to the grocery store. That would take an hour. You would go to the pharmacy.

It would take an hour. You would go to Walgreens. It would take an hour. But we don't have to run those errands anymore. Are we saving? What do we do with all that time that we've saved? What time are you saving? Just like now we just do amazon

instacart or just order everything on amazon like you're not but you still go to a grocery store right i still go to a grocery store but i don't have my prescription gets mailed to me but i don't i don't go it used to be like i need highlighters i it's going to take an hour by the time i go to walgreens and get home if you want to find out where that time's going look at your screen time that's i think that's what started happening we now have more time on our hands and we have more time to just be like you know what fuck chris hemsworth you know i mean like it's yeah you're just staring at your phone we used to just be busier we used to be like i gotta go do this i don't have time to hate you know this person that's you know done something well also you didn't have a portal to hate through that's true yeah you give

people a rock and there's a window they're gonna throw that rock and you didn't have a portal to hate through. That's true. Yeah. You give people a rock and there's a window. They're going to throw that rock. And you didn't always find people somewhere that would corroborate. Yes. That would go, yeah, fuck Chris Hemsworth. It's amazing to me that like I'm big on when someone agrees with me about something, I want to know who they are. You know what I mean? Like, am I fucked?

Are the Nazis on my side shit because when people yeah I got 50 likes I'm like it's not the quantity of like the quality right who's liking you who are these people that like you don't you want to know it's you know it's like high-fiving with a bunch of fucking homeless people it's like yeah like don't you want to what else do they like yeah don't you want to kind of know? So that's a tricky thing too. It's all these like faceless just kind of we project that everyone that likes us are like Yale graduates. That's what we would like. That's the narcissist dream that everybody who likes you is amazing and everybody who likes everybody else is an asshole and a moron.

If you watch someone generalize about the kind of people that like someone that they don't like, I guarantee you that person has some serious narcissistic tendencies. It's so wild to me because I grew up in a house that was like, yes, definitely had rough spots. But my dad was like brilliant. And his whole thing with me was I think that he didn't really know how to attune to having a daughter like it was like a little awkward in a way um but I think he was trying to prepare me for the world and make me like smart enough to deal with the adversity that he like felt like was coming even because he didn't feel like he could arm me physically you know and he always said he was like the sign of an intelligent person is someone who can argue the other side. You don't have to believe it.

Yeah. But if you can't argue it, it means your ego is involved and you can't possibly be rational and you can't possibly be intelligent. That's such good advice. That's brilliant advice. I always try to look at other people's perspectives. It's hard to do sometimes, especially if that person doesn't like you or they don't like what you like or they're ideologically opposed to what you like. Unless someone's like, like, you know, molesting kids or whatever. There's no you don't have to get in.

I even though sometimes just like to go will hurt people, hurt people. And if you were if you molest, that means you were molested and there's a cycle to break. You can't even go that far if you know you need to. And there's a cycle to break. You can't even go that far if, you know, you need to. But yeah, he always told me, like, if you can't argue the other side, then you have no idea what the fuck you believe. It's true. You know, and that was always something that so before I ever disagree with anyone, I'm like, first, let me defend their argument. And then I can start to figure out what mine is.

Yeah, steel manning. There's a great podcast called Intelligence Squared. I don't know if it's still around but it's just debates it's just like smart ass people debating and then the audience I think at the end like votes who's right but it's like it's so hard to find places where you'll see people

that are respectfully disagreeing with each other you do it respectfully because there's another thing that really bothers me which is not about just disagreeing with someone. That's that's fine. Even if you're wrong. I don't care how much you disagree with someone to just call them trash or garbage.

That's just disrespect. There's a disrespectful way of talking. And my dad also always taught me that the way that you're presenting your argument is so much more important than what your argument is. And if you're just going to go like, you're trash, you're dismissive. It's like you're disrespecting yourself by talking that way. Yeah. You're letting everybody know that you're a fool. Yeah. And if someone is, you know, an officer, I just come from a place where you, you, even if you disagree with someone and think they're a bad person, you're you're fucking garbage like make an argument like what are you saying what's your argument it's just an easy way

for people to get out of being intelligent and get out of like having to form a rational debate having to form a rational argument against whatever that person's point is just ad hominem attack them it's it's like it's, yeah, sloppiness really bothers me. It's sloppy. It's sloppy and it's, yeah. And my dad used to always say like, what, like, I want to go out with my friends. Tell me, give me three arguments

why you should stay out past midnight. And I would have to tell him. And you can't, you can't make three arguments. You can't. So he knew what he was doing, you know. That's where all the good dick is. Yeah. How else am I going to get that fentanyl in my

pussy? The coke dealer doesn't get off work till 11.50. Yes. Exactly. His wife doesn't fall asleep till 11.30. I got to get out of here, Whitney. It's already 5 o'clock. I love you. Thank you. I love you too.

Your show, Jokes, is on Netflix Netflix available right now tell everybody where everything else is it's just on Netflix Godspeed and Finding It

and then yeah my podcast on YouTube Spotify all the things and that's it look at my old tweets they're problematic

bye everybody