The Joe Rogan Experience - #191 - Honey Honey

Episode Date: March 6, 2012

Joe sits down with Honey Honey.

Joe Rogan Experience. My friends, honey, honey, are here. Oh, shit! Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day! Through the wonders of the internet, we've come together. These guys, um, there's a guy named Balls of Steel to thank for us finding out about each other. That's his name on the Rogan board. His name is Balls of Steel.

And Balls of Steel sent me this, uh, this... Sounds uncomfortable. Yeah, I guess. But it's functional, too. They're little Balls of Steel. To be rattling around. of steel and balls of steel sent me this uh this sounds uncomfortable yeah i guess really little they're little balls of steel to be rattling around they don't have to be big balls just little tiny ones probably a lot of tissue you probably barely feel it he sent me a message saying this is going to be your new favorite song and i was like okay whatever you know i i don't know this guy i've never had any interactions with him sounds like he knows knows you. Yeah, well, you know, I don't know. I mean, he nailed it, whatever it is.

Maybe it's just it was so good that he just knew that all someone had to do was hear it. And that sounds like so corny. It sounds like very show busy when entertainers compliment each other because it sounds like some Academy Award bullshit. You know what I mean? Like when someone sees someone and they goes wow you guys are really good it doesn't does I always go yeah yeah yeah even if you didn't like them you would fucking actor them you know you would say like hey man I just want

to tell you I really loved you in that movie you couldn't give a fuck about that movie so you just say I want to really be clear that it's not that and that's the only way that you have to bring that up it's the white elephant like the room I don't know who they are oh really oh what's your last name is Timberlake what is that

is that Italian yeah by the way when you do that to people they know you're doing it to them and they're just playing along so this dude sends me this link and I go to it and it's you guys

on top of a roof I guess like somewhere outside of LA it says live at the Esquire house is that what it was yes and it was the song Angel of Death. And I was like, holy shit. I was like, this is like, it was really original.

It was like country, sort of twangy. It had a lot of like, a lot of different elements to it. It's like the way the songwriting was really original. And I was like, wow, what the fuck is this band? So then I go on, you know, the YouTube journey. And I just got into your shit, and I bought Billy Jack on iTunes, and that's all I've listened to for like a fucking week and a half.

I'm seriously. Thank you, sir. It's one of the best CDs I've heard in years. It's so rich and so complete. The thing that freaked me out about it was like, how the fuck do I not know who you are? is so good it was so good to me it was preposterous that I didn't know and it's uncomfortable to say that in front of people but but it was really no one cares about you I don't believe it's not

I don't believe is that I believe you guys are on the launching pad and I think the internet is I think you guys are gonna get gigantic just from the internet I really I just I think this is it internet is, I think you guys are going to get gigantic just from the internet. I think this is, it's inescapable. You guys are too good. We went to see you the other night and seeing bands live for a comic is so inspirational.

For me at least. When you go see other comedians, that's inspirational too, but I already know how to do that. I already do that. When I watch someone do something like music I have no musical talent at all nothing I'm no no how to play anything I don't know how to sing anything so for me it's so alien and also I'm watching you guys jam up there and I have no sense of self in the equation there's no it's nothing like oh

I don't know if I would play that like that I can't play shit I don't know anything about music so I can just like Just slack jaw it To me one of the most amazing things to watch Is a band performed live You know You guys were fucking amazing You guys were really good

This might be that showbiz thing that you were just talking about But it's not that Because I feel the same way about stand up comics I feel like it takes the biggest balls out of any of the performing thing because if it's not funny no one's gonna laugh you know what i mean if we're done playing people are gonna clap kind of no matter what you do it's like an etiquette yeah but if it's not funny people you just kind of up there well you're hanging joey diaz who's a good buddy of mine i don't know if you know he is but he uh he says it best he says stand-up comedy is the hardest, easiest thing you'll ever do.

And what he means by that is that it's really hard to get funny. But when you get funny, then everything's easy. Then you know how to, as long as you stay in the frequency, then you know what's up. You know how to do it. You know how to do it right. You've got to just make sure you completely concentrate on what you're doing. And never disrespect the relationship you have to the audience as long as you get to a certain level you can do it fairly easily that's what he means

but getting to that level it's like there's a lot of shit that happens it's it's a long process do you go i mean do you go off your material and just kind of riff oh yeah yeah yeah yeah see that that freaks me out that's my favorite time i love it when we're off the track and in the woods. I love it. It's one of my favorite times. I love hecklers. I secretly love hecklers. I don't want to hurt their feelings, but I love when shit happens.

I just love the chaos of the moment. Yeah, I think that's where it's at, though, is the people that can go off track and just bounce back and throw it in there. And it being something that's totally off the cuff. Because everybody knows when it's just repetitively rehearsed. There's a little of that. Also, people know when it's stale. The key to comics is you only keep your stuff for a couple years and you've got to just launch it into

orbit. Unlike you guys, you'll be playing L.A. River for fucking decades. That song is amazing. You'll be playing that when you're an old lady. Get used to it. Buckle up. Ben, when you're an old lady, you'll be playing L.A. River. That song is awesome.'ll be playing that when you're an old lady Get used to it, buckle up Ben, when you're an old lady You'll be playing Highway River That song is awesome It's going to exist forever

But there's like old bits that I have, man Where they were like my best bits at the time I can't even touch them, they're useless Well, and times change Well, it's not even that It's just, you know, you can't just do your old shit And then you forget how it goes You know, you stop doing it for a while and you forget how it goes.

Like someone will yell out something and I'm like, good luck with that one. I don't even know how that one goes. We do the same thing. We do that with songs that we don't play. Like when you're on tour and you play the same set over and over every night. And every once in a while you'll throw in a different tune if you're feeling crazy or intoxicated. And, you know, people make a request and every once in a while we'll be crazy enough to play it and there's been many times where i've forgotten the words and you christina

aguilera did it seriously it's what did christina she she did that with uh the super bowl though she did the national anthem and she fucked up the lyrics she forgot i'm just kidding that's tough though mean, you're playing in a stadium. Listen, that bitch is tripping. You know she's tripping. I know she's tripping. I don't know what it is. I don't know what she's doing to get by, but it's not green tea and yoga.

There's a lot going on there. We stand with Christine. Dude, she had period blood running down her stage. That is horrifying. Have you seen this? Are you serious? Pull that shit up. Yeah, pull it up.

Pull it up. You need to pull it up. Christina Aguilera, period blood, down leg photo. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. Someone tried to say it was spray on tan. I'm like, what are you trying to make her asshole look like midnight? That's ridiculous.

There's no way it could be that kind of volume. I'm so scared. Don't be scared. It's life. It's part of life. Christina, I'm sure is a good girl. She's got a beautiful voice. I'm not into that kind of singing. I'm so scared. Don't be scared. It's life. It's part of life. Christina, I'm sure, is a good girl. She's got a beautiful voice. I'm not into that kind of singing, but she's got a powerful voice.

That's fantastic. She's a very pretty girl. She's hot as fuck. What was that Dirty song that she had back in the day? Is that what it's called? That was pretty cool. Dirty? Yeah.

And I like, again, Conmigo. That girl's a freak. Come on over. Okay, can I say that? I definitely think that's Spray on Tan. Brian, look at how fucking rich and red that is. I date a girl that gets that shit done every three days. And it forms a river and comes down your leg like the Congo.

If she's sweating, that's probably what it is. Listen, I'm going with period blood. Fuck you assholes. Party pooping bitches. Spray on tan. Listen, man. That's so funny. I don't think it's spray on tan.

That's period blood, bro. Dude, is that your ass in the background, Joe, behind you? No, couldn't be. No. My ass is way meatier than that, bro. My ass is so much meatier than that. I could dream. How dare you?

That was spring break, 2004. Back in the day. Joe was in Myrtle Beach. Oh, my God. Did what I got to do. Got to get by. What? So, you know, meeting you guys through Twitter is like,

this is like the first time I've ever met a band through Twitter and then had the band come on the show. You know, this is a very interesting phenomenon. I mean, these are really strange times we live in. It really is. Because if we lived in another era, I would have to hear about you guys on the radio, and then there's no way I would meet you unless i ran into you somewhere you know

i can't just tweet you and go holy guys you guys are shit you can't do that you know it's a bizarre thing very bizarre but but back then you know i think about this a lot back then there was probably well i'm pulling this out of my ass but for every hundred thousand bands that was my ass just then that's exactly what it sounded like. There's probably like a tenth as many bands. You know what I mean? So you have a better chance maybe? I don't know.

That doesn't make sense actually mathematically. Are there more bands today? I think there's. Who's responsible for that? Internet. Yeah. Austin, Texas. Definitely the internet.

Austin, Texas. Whores. Yeah. I've been to Austin, Texas. Copulating. You ever listen to those? They have like public access and they have like, you know, local bands are constantly playing on public access.

A lot of bands in Austin, Texas. This is true. You guys are from Ohio? Cleveland? I'm from Cleveland. You're from Cleveland? Yes. And where are you from?

I'm from New York, Massachusetts area. New York, Massachusetts? Well, you know, I lived in New York, a couple places, a city upstate, and then I lived in Massachusetts as well. We met in L.A., though. Oh, okay. Yeah. Cool.

Good times. And you guys met, how'd you meet? Did you meet, like, music class or some shit? Yeah, that'd be awesome. Sort of aftermath. Well, tell everybody your names. I'm Suzanne Santo. My name's Ben Jaffe.

And we are. That's so gay, honey, honey. You know, it's funny that like you sort of like, you know, you're saying all these great things about our band and like, you know, you orbit around this, you know, world, this community of, you know, like UFC fighting and all this crazy, like, you know, you're talking about christine aguilera's period look and we're called honey honey and it's you know it's commendable for you to embrace us with warm open arms with such a um nipple juice softy well i'm a softy you know i i really am i'm wrapped up in a lot of other crazy shit but i'm i'm trying to be as as possible. One of your fans made fun of our name on Twitter. Yeah, he did, but we fucking squashed it. We probably hate his life.

Yeah. Probably hates his life. There's a lot of people on Twitter that hate their life. There's a lot of people out there in the world that just want to scratch. They just want to reach out and claw because nobody took care of them. Why? Because it's a complicated cycle of life, and it doesn't make any sense, and everybody's got a place, and you don't even necessarily want to be in that place,

but you're stuck through circumstances. We made friends with him, though. Did you? Yeah. We worked it out. That's not worth it. Listen, if you keep doing that, you'll have no time for anything else. Well, honey, honey, stop performing, but they're full-time.

We've got to tweet. That's all they're going to do. Maybe he'll be less of a dick now. Maybe. There's a chance. Yeah, maybe. Did you just say, like, reply, hater, hater? No.

No, he basically said, he was like, hey, Joe, why don't you ask him where they came up with such a god-awful band name? And I responded. You responded to that?

I responded. I just said. We're very sensitive. I'm going to help you guys. I said our band name was inspired by your mom after we boned her. Oh.

Damn. And then he was like, ha, yeah. See, that was all. Yeah, he had no, that shut him up, too. Yeah, we just said, this is mom.

Well, he didn't even know. You could have been a dude. You could have been a dude that said that. Maybe he just spoke his language. Yeah, that's what I was hoping you would say. Yeah.

Let's keep going with this. Which is totally fucked up. Yeah, well, that's a lot of the world. I was hoping you'd say, you boned my mom. Whoa. Yeah.

That's what you were hoping? No. Were you crazy? That's what he was, yeah, see, I'm already in trouble. It's the world. I was hoping you'd say you blow my mom. Whoa. Yeah, that's your hoping no raising I'm that's what he was. Yeah, I'm already in trouble role-playing. I was role-playing You gotta learn how to deal with trolls This is a lesson that this is a good place good Do you came to us before you guys blow up because we're gonna help you tremendously? There's gonna be a lot of people and they they're there what's called trolls You know what trolls are right on the internet the mythical creature. No, no, they're the people They're real and what they do is they say things to try to get you to respond.

All you have to do is respond. They go, oh, trolled you. This is how low end the game is. The game is so low end. It's like say anything mean, anything horrible, anything ridiculous, anything preposterous, anything accusatory, lie, make up, shit, point out things that are completely. You are our Twitter sensei I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you and all they're trying to do is get you to go what the fuck who are you? And you

That's all they want you to do they want you they want to get a read a green light We want to get a green light so they might stand out they might send Jose can say go a thousand tweets You know what's funny though? And I felt overly emotional and maybe that's the secret is don't, maybe I should like Twitter off when we're boozing. The real issue is there's too many

people that you're going to interact with and your individual one-on-time, it is impossible for one-on-one time to interact with that many people. So you gotta like choose who you're going to interact with and you can go back and forth with some cunt face. But the only reason why you're going back and forth is because they said something rude.

They said something rude to get you enticed. There's plenty of people that won't do that. So that's why blocking is awesome. Just don't argue with them. Just block it. It's hard to do. It's really easy to just fucking go, fuck you, yeah.

I'm a loser. What the fuck are you? I block 10 people a day. You can block people? Oh my God, you didn't know that? Oh, people a day. You can block people? Oh, my God. You didn't know that? Oh, that changes everything. You guys need mentors.

We're getting tweeted at by trolls right now. It's really funny. It says, dickheads trolling ain't easy. Dickheads trolling ain't easy. Oh, that's funny. It ain't easy. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that trolling is easy.

Look, trolling is kind of tricky. There's a lot involved in that. You got gotta you gotta pretend you gotta get people mad you gotta figure what's gonna really get ben fired up that he's gonna respond and and get really shitty with it's very difficult i'm very calm you say that yeah but he starts going after some you know finds out about some ex-girlfriend on twitter and attacks you all they're trying to do is just get you to respond that's all they're trying to do just trying to get you to respond they just need all they're trying to do. Just trying to get you to respond. They just need love. It's not even personal, man.

They do need love. They would way rather talk to you than be buddies. Most likely, if you actually met them. But, you know, there's no fun in that. We will be your friend.

Okay. If you're out there. You're making a mistake. You're making a huge mistake. We will give you our credit card numbers and driver's license. You certainly should be friends

with a lot of people. There's a lot of people out there to be friends with. Don't try to tame the cunts. I feel like we should turn this podcast into a drinking game. Every time you say cunt, somebody has to drink. You want to play a blackout cast? Yeah. You know what a blackout cast is?

Sounds like someone wants a woke up. For real? Yeah, it's a podcast I do where we drink a whole bottle of Jägermeister in an hour. Oh, that sounds awful. But we have to finish it in one hour. Can we make it like whiskey instead of Jägermeister? an hour. Oh, that sounds awful. But we have to finish it in one hour. Can we make it like whiskey instead of Jägermeister? We're not going to kill Honey Honey. How dare you, bro? I love them.

I don't want to kill them. Stop it, Brian. We can't kill them. Listen. Joe Rogan is the angel of death. I'm just trying to hook you guys up. I'm trying to keep you guys moving in any way possible. I want you guys to make more CDs. Keep it coming. Oh, you don't have to be grateful. I want you guys to make more CDs. Keep it coming. We're so grateful. Keep it coming.

Oh, you don't have to be grateful. Just keep doing what you're doing. That's reward enough. It's just an amazing opportunity to be able to tell people about somebody. And I've never had a venue before. Before this podcast, or before Twitter or any of this social media stuff, there's no way if you like something, you have to wait for an interview and go, oh, fuck, this new band's amazing.

By the time you do that, the interview gets in a magazine, it's months later, now just, boop, immediately. Well, you know, it's tough because radio is a dying breed, and we're not necessarily a radio band, you know, I mean, I guess we could be. You say that. This is radio. Yeah, this is the real radio. This is, I mean, there's not a radio station except for, like like Sirius Satellite Radio that gets as many listeners as this thing does. That's amazing. Yeah, the weird thing about the internet is that nobody even saw this coming.

You know, they just somehow or another, well, what are we going to do? Let's have pictures. I'll send you a picture, whatever. Nobody ever saw fucking file sharing and streaming shows and everything free. What are they doing? They're putting it out for free? What the fuck? And then this other model, the radio model, just kind of evaporates.

And there's no CDs now, doesn't it? You know, CDs, that's like five more years. It's insane. I remember when I was a kid and they first came out with CDs. I'm like, who the fuck is going to get those things? Don't we already have cassettes? Yeah, this tape is fucking awesome. Why are we going to?

Is cassette good enough? That's kind of something I'm going to miss. I'm a sucker for mixtapes or mix CDs. Oh, really? Oh, my God, I love it. But someone can do that easily. A playlist is easy. Why do you hate the future, Suzanne?

Someone can put that in your watch. They have USB watches that are also MP3 players. Do you have Spotify? Do you have Spotify? You can share with your friends? You know, I'm kind of Spotify illiterate right now. Oh, it's great. It's pretty much like a mixtape that you can have

Joe's mixtape, you can have your mixtape. Oh yeah, you make your own page, right? Yeah, it's pretty much like a Facebook page for music. I should know about this. You should because look, Balls of Steel is the guy that hooked me up with you guys. It's clear that that's... Where is Balls of Steel? He's out there.

He's about to go on the road, and I want to shake that man's hand. He's probably shooting whiskey right into his dick with a turkey baster. He's on my message board. He could be doing anything right now. They're a bunch of savages. Fartblood 7 told me about Spotify. Oh, there you go. Thank you, Fartblood 7.

Thank you. Thank you, Fartblood 7. We've had this podcast or this message board. I started it in 1998, and it just sort of took on a life of its own. Now it's got like millions of posts. It's like over 6 million posts. And it's just the craziest, most interesting group of weirdos mixed with cunts. It's a lot.

It's a cunt farm. Drink. I'm farming. I'm allowing them. I even keep some of them around I have it set up so that when they're assholes or if they're rude

or something like that they get sent to special ed and then they get a they get a pink name okay by keeping them around I'm just making them even cuntier

right I'm not just may I get up please Joe may I get up and get some ice no I need to get some ice but I figured I should oh yeah yeah yeah

it's like that are you serious you just really asked to get up? You should have raised your hand, dude. Why didn't you raise your fucking hand? Excuse me, Mr. Rogan. We're going to have to become better friends than this. This is weird, Ben.

We're getting hammered in front of each other, and you're like, may I please have some ice? That's very respectful. He's a Midwest boy. He's not. You're a New Yorker. You're a New York, Boston guy. That's sort of me too, man.

I was born in New Jersey and I grew up mostly in Boston. My grandma lived in Tom's River. What do you think about that? Oh, Tom's River. That's where the former UFC lightweight champion Frankie Edgar's from. Holla at your boy. Shout out to Frankie. I love that dude. Just lost his title, unfortunately. Very close decision. He wants a rematch.

I support you, Frankie Edgar, in your bid for a rematch. Good luck to you, sir. He's a good man, Frankie Edgar. He's a beast. I learned to shrimp out. You learned how to shrimp? Yeah, I learned how to shrimp out. Who taught you to do that?

My friend Wendy Wang, a lady. She beat the shit out of me. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, but I got that because I went and took one class with the Gracies. For people who don't know what it is, it's a form of hip escaping where you kind of get like a shrimp. You get on your side and you kind of like bend and kick like a shrimp. And the idea is to get out of a bad position. So that's what.

So just let it go. I'm with that. So you learned it from a woman? I did. She brought me to this Brazilian jiu-jitsu class. And I was shrimping all over the fucking place. That's awesome. Yeah.

Did you like it? I did. I did. Dude, I'll get you free lessons. You want to train with my best friends, one of the best jiu-jitsu instructors in the world. If you want, you guys are in. Can my friend Suzanne come? Oh, dude, you're in.

You're in. I'm so in. I'll totally hook you guys up. It's done. Done deal. I feel like carrying a knife just doesn't cut it anymore. No, it doesn't. You could learn some nasty guard techniques. See, the thing about your legs is a woman, you know, physically is not going to be as strong as a man. There's just no way, especially a big man man but your legs are strong as fuck your legs are carrying you around all day and you're running i mean think about that what you could walk for hours you know try

walking on your fucking hands for hours so a woman's legs are incredibly strong and if a woman learns jujitsu i have friends like my friend felicia oh okay she's a woman she's a brazilian jujitsu black belt and she's only about 130 pounds. Oh, my gosh. And she's ridiculously technical. Like, you know, I'm much bigger than her, and I have a really hard time, like, just containing her and holding on to her. She's just, her technique is that good. Because she's ripping out all over the time.

She does everything. She's a black belt. She's super high level. That's the only vocabulary I know. There was a show. Remember a guy named Seymour Butts? He was like a porn star. Yeah.

That had like a reality show on Showtime where it was like, you know, it was a reality show about his life, like producing porn films and, you know, living his life and, you know, dating. It was a weird show. But one of the things he wanted to do is he wanted to start taking Brazilian jiu-jitsu lessons and have him roll with a girl. Like they thought that would be funny and have him roll with a girl. They thought that would be funny to have him roll with a girl. But I don't think he expected Felicia to fucking strangle him.

Because when they started rolling, she fucking manhandled him. I mean, she's a little girl. She's 5'5", maybe, maybe, 130 pounds, maybe. And she's fucking strangling this dude and taking his arms about to break him and arm barring him and triangling him. It was fucking chaos.

It was like over and over and over again. She's just tapping him. So is it mainly, I mean when you're talking about the size of the dog in the fight here, is it mainly about her

and leverage or is she just incredibly strong? No, no, no, no. She's not, I mean she's a strong woman but she's a woman. I mean it's not,

I mean. You don't need to be that strong if you have your shit together, right? It's about her technique. Her technique is at such a high level, and her defense is at such a high level. She knows exactly what she's doing, so she doesn't have to exert nearly as much force because she's always in the right position. She's just like, just technique.

It was wild to watch because I'd never like a man with no training go with a woman who was a black belt so it was really intriguing it was funny she just ran right through him it's crazy like nothing like she wasn't even tired that's like our friend wendy she i mean she's not a black belt but she's been doing it for a couple years and she beat the shit out of me it's fun yeah you should try it wendy beat the shit out of me you guys should totally do it you should have honey honey death matches at the end of your show. Oh, my God. We've thought about it. Well, we're working on it.

What? Ben's like, what the fuck? We talk about trying to incorporate other, you know, various. Carnival acts. Crafts and carnival acts. Violence. We need more violence. We're starting with a basketball tournament that we actually.

That's the truth. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, basketball tournament for like charity or something? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And it's going to be, it's going to involve a show, but basically three-on-three, like 10-minute games.

All these other indie rock hoes in Los Angeles. Does this have anything to do with that organization that introduced you guys in Santa Monica? No. No? That's a different thing, but we're trying to be as involved as possible in all these non-profit things, and arts education is kind of the area we're trying to get into. Explain what that was because I thought that was really interesting. Well, when we booked the show, a friend of mine who was booking the venue every Monday night,

they would do a nonprofit. They'd feature a different nonprofit, and the proceeds from the night would go to that nonprofit, and he allowed us to choose. And there's a group called Coach Art, which is arts education funding, because there's all these public schools that have literally no access to arts education. So I think there was drinks that night that went to it.

The door money went to this group, Coach Art. And what we're working on slowly is having this basketball tournament with us and a bunch of other Los Angeles bands, because I just want to play basketball we just want to just love basketball i love basketball do you wish you were a big black guy oh i wish i was in the nba if you were if you were a a big tall guy do you think that you would be playing professional basketball definitely i think if i yeah i think if i just took a different

path with this body i'd go with the nba Yeah, because I think it would be exciting for people to watch. I like how you said it like this with a wave of your hand. This body. Yeah, exactly. You should have just paused and said, what's up? What's up? You know, about a year ago, Ben in all earnestness said to me, he said, you know, Suzanne, I think I got this great idea for a reality show, and it's basically going to be me for

an entire year training for the NBA. Because if I could do it who wouldn't who wouldn't watch that if someone that looks like me could get into tell you what for real I think it for real if you got how old you I'm 26 it might be too listen not too late not too late at all my knees are going no no you say that they've got all kinds of new things they're doing now what is it going cartilage what is it you know they're doing they're taking your blood and they're putting it some sort of a centrifuge and then they take it out and shoot the fucking platelets right into your knee with human growth hormone holy shit yeah that's some stem cell tissue yeah there's a lot of that going on hang in there fella all right

i'm thinking about freezing my semen too yeah i've done that okay let's do it at home not let's not do that but i don't think let's take fish oil. You don't think so? Let's take fish oil. Are you taking fish oil? None. You got to take fish oil. Okay. Very important for joints. Anytime you have sore joints. Amazing.

Amazing. Not just that. It's good for mental property. Is that your phone? That's my phone. I shouldn't have left it on. That's not cool. Party foul.

Come on. We're drinking. Phil Collins. Interesting choice. Could you imagine? I don't know what you're talking about. Studio. Whoa.

Good boy, George. Studio. Whoa. But. Good boy, George. He's a vice cop. Once you guys become famous, once you guys become huge, which you will, it's inevitable. I'm happy I met you now and you'll still talk to me. But once you guys become famous, then you on a reality show when you want to try to enter into the NBA, that would be fucking awesome. And then balancing it in with your schedule of touring.

I want to be the executive producer. Excellent. We're actually looking for funding if you're interested. Dude, I'm down. Obviously. Duh. So my mid-range game is pretty good, but I think I need to,

beyond the arc is really what I need to develop with my sets. How are you with battle rapping? Battle rapping? Can you battle rap? Because that might come up. You're a musician. Ben's actually pretty good. I mean, I don't want to fuck you up right now.

We'll see. You can battle rap. You can. I know you can. I know I could get to a place where I'd be confident, yes. I would say that if you're a young white boy like yourself and you're really good at basketball, some shit's come up. Okay. Something's come up.

There's been some situations where you had to establish a position. I mean, Suzanne's come up. There's been some situations where you had to establish a position. Suzanne's very kind. I don't want to create a false image of myself in terms of how good I am at basketball, but I will accept any challenges. We did that three-on-three at the Strongsville Rec Center. We were home for Christmas, and we beat those 14-year-olds. It was fucking awesome. But we also did lose to some 14-year-olds, too.

Well, you did, you and the rest of the band. You didn't have me. I'm lanky. Have you always been a big basketball fan? Could it rebound? Could it rebound? Do you like diaries? No.

Do you like diaries? What do you think about the color green? Yeah. Do you like diaries? Fuck. You like good. Yeah. No, for real.

No, my basketball passion is picked up. I just love the game. I mean, I used to play a lot of soccer. But basketball, I don't know. I like it better. It's so fast-paced. And it's like so much improvisation. You know what I mean?

At least in this pickup basketball. There's a fine line between rock and roll. Do you notice when he started talking about basketball, he started going black? Did you feel that? Ben? He went a little black on us. Did you notice that? What about me?

It's like, you know, it's all about improvisational but there is there's a fine line between rock and roll and being a professional athlete hmm I'll support that I think it's a big fat stupid line There's a lot of difference there, actually. I'm working on getting us fucking tracksuits before shows. Tracksuits, that would be dope. Doing some warm-ups. Just like some 70s gangsters from New York. Yeah, it's fun times.

Jogging suits. They're in the mail. I'm already all over it. Yeah, it's gross. We're drinking this weird rum stuff. Have you ever had interest in other music? Have I? Um, you know, I, yes. I actually moved to LA for acting.

Really? Thank God. I did fairly well for a little while. Thank God you got here for that. And you abandoned that shit, right? You're way too cool to be an actress. It's impossible. No, I didn't.

You're way too cool. Oh my God. You're way too cool to be an actress. It's impossible. Because you're way too cool. No, I worked for a number of years. And when I moved out to L.A., I went through my first breakup. Whoa. Yeah. Please tell us more. It was very dark times. Oh, no.

Did that inspire good music? I packed on a few LBs. I got really sad. Oh, what's up? And I wrote a lot of pathetic, sad songs. Yeah. It was like Shit you right when your heart's broken, but you know what? It was really funny because it was just like a crazy chain of events were like I played a couple open mics

Because my roommate was a booker at the time and I didn't know anybody I met my roommate on how long ago we're talking Well, I was 18 19 how old you know 27 As 18, 19, 18, 19. How old are you now? 27. Okay, nine years ago. Nine years ago, you're still fucking with this pick up? As Ben says, I'm in my late 20s, and Ben is 26, and he is in his mid-20s. I'm a young buck. Yeah. Wow.

Well, it's all about answers. What are you saying? It's all about positivity, y'all. Positivity. Yeah. So you just started going up on open mic nights? Just fucking around? Well, you know, it was crazy.

Like, my first show, I met all these people that i'm still friends with today and every time it just like snowballed and then i met ben like maybe a couple months later and we started writing together and it it really happened like we started putting some songs on myspace that's that's what i'm saying have you ever thought about maybe you guys being the captain in Tennille Part 2? I love that song. I've never thought of that. It's a band. Keep us together.

They're not bad, man. That's bad. You're going to be the captain. And you sound really good today. She's Tennille. I like how you hit the high notes, Ben. Aw, thanks. So you guys immediately hit it off?

What's your impressions of each other? I mean, I always wondered how bands that work work. We hit it off as friends, and I was pretty green, you know? Like, I've always sang, and I've played the violin since I was a kid, and I played a little guitar, but Ben had already written an entire record, recorded it, and, you know, he kind of showed me the way the ropes if you will so Ben what is it like for you man you're a musician you meet this chick she can sing her ass off and what do you how you how does it become a band man I feel like the band

stuff just happened I you know we kind of got outside forces like this situation outside forces just come around every once in a while. I was compelled. And kind of push us along, honestly. But, you know, when we play, at first we were playing some songs that I'd written, and Suzanne just sang them better than anybody else sings them. So it was, I don't know, it was kind of like a no-brainer, I guess. It was just like, okay, this girl can sing.

And then we started writing together, and we just had a great relationship. Did you have day jobs at the time? Oh, yeah. Yeah? I sold barbecue. Nice. I worked at Baby Please Barbecue. Oh, what's up?

Yeah, those are my people. Oh, that's a good place. It's fantastic. But, man. There's only like 10 legit barbecue places in all of LA. I swear I lost 15 pounds when I stopped working there. I'm sure. You ever go to Dr. Hogley Wiley's in Van Nuys?

I've been there. Ooh, it's worth the drive. It's tasty. God damn. You got to give yourself a good day to prepare. And no food in the morning, man. Don't fuck with breakfast. You got to go right there.

I go there for like a 1 p.m. lunch breakfast sort of a thing. It's ridiculous. You ever go to D.C.? Yeah, Washington. You know Ooze and Oz? Ooze and Oz. That spot is the greatest. I mean, it's similar to Baby Blues.

It's a soul food place. So you were working Baby Blues. Where were you working? I wasn't working at the time. I was just like, I was lucky enough. Oh, you were teaching. Oh, yeah, I was teaching. Yeah, right?

I'm reaching off my money train. Yeah, exactly. So you were teaching? I was teaching guitar. And I was really lucky to be great friends with a producer named Andy Paley. And I was working on all these cartoons. I was, like, playing on these cartoon soundtracks. SpongeBob SquarePants?

Yeah, it's just, like, random stuff. That's awesome. Yeah, it was hilarious. So I got to do all these amazing TV projects and stuff like that. You know, I guess that was it. And then, so, you guys form a song. This is what I want to know. Who's writing this stuff?

Are you guys writing it all together? Well, now we are. Our first record was, half the record was Ben's songs from his previous record that he recorded. And now we pretty much write everything together. And it's really interesting to, like to kind of just watch the whole thing develop because we're getting better, like our musicianship, our writing, our performing. And it's really cool to just keep striving for the next level. And we write all the time, and sometimes we write for other people.

And it's become something that's really, I can humbly say like once you're secure with it it's so much fun yeah you know because there was a time when when I said you know like when I was younger and 19 and just getting started I was so insecure about like oh my god does this sound like shit is that stupid is that cliche you know and you just kind of trial and error have to go with it and and now it's it's just like it's it's like kind of a whole nother entity it's like once you write a song you just kind of put it out there and it's really it's really fucking fun and the big reward is in the creativity right the big reward is in bringing something to life yeah it wasn't there that didn't

exist and through you or collaboration or whatever it is boom all of a sudden there it is well they're all stories you know they're all our stories and and that's what i think the the best part is that they're they're true you know it's it's not like i feel like i'm playing some i'm acting you know and that and that's what's that's a nice part about playing music as opposed to when i was an actress is that like this is mine and ours well there's a deadness to something like there's beautiful songs that other people have written and then people will sing them and it's beautiful

but there's a difference there's a big difference between someone who wrote the song and is singing the song and someone who is singing the song that somebody just sold them or somebody you know got them to sing there's a difference. There's a disconnect.

There's something that happens in any form of art, whether it's great acting or great singing and songwriting or great literature. There's when someone fucking just nails it. And when they nail it, they're completely tuned into it. You know what I'm saying? It's not just, I'm going to sing this song that this weird gay guy wrote. He's really good at it. You know what I'm saying? I mean, it's not just, I'm gonna sing this song that this weird gay guy wrote, and he's really good at it. You know, and he sells it. And they go, and they make, it's because he's always a cool gay guy. It's like, on top of shit. There's a lot of those songwriter guys. But, you know what I mean? I mean, there's like a disconnect. There's a disconnect between the work. I mean, even if you feel it, even if it's beautiful, you know, there beautiful. It's not quite the same. Yeah, but I do think there's something appealing about having just a song that's good enough

that it can be universally applicable, you know what I mean? Yes, yes. And then someone who has a beautiful instrument and a beautiful expression can channel that. I know what you're saying. I completely agree. I think both. You know what I'm saying? I think the tributes and covers are...

Do you know that little kid? Do you know that little kid? Do you remember that little kid? There was a video and he got on Ellen and he was singing a Lady Gaga song. What's that kid's name? I don't know. We've talked about it so many times. I know. Do you know the kid I'm talking about?

Yeah, I know who you're talking about. Either way. Joe, may I get up again, please? You got to pee? No, I got to get some more ice. Get some more ice, son. Stop with the questions. Can I get up again, please?

You got to pee? No, I got to get some more ice. Get some more ice, son. All right, thank you. Stop with the questions. He's singing that paparazzi song, and it's a cover, but it's an 11-year-old kid, and it's fucking brilliant. It's really brilliant. And in that case, yeah, yeah, he's tapping in, even if he didn't write the song.

But it's like, again, it's like, thanks, Ben. You believe it, if it's true to somebody. Because I sing some songs that Ben wrote, and if it doesn't resonate with me in a place that I can... Well, I think this kid who was singing this song clearly was not believing the lyrics. But what these lyrics represented to him was, personal emotional feelings. Yeah. Because there's no way he knows about smoking cigarettes

and the paparazzi and all this nonsense. He's not resonating with the actual song. Maybe he's connecting to the idea of this woman, Lady Gaga, who's going through this, and he's channeling himself through her. But most likely, he's just trying to show how emotional and conflicted he is in his expression. And it's just so powerful that it vibes with the actual song that makes no sense coming from an 11-year-old boy.

Yeah, that's funny. I love that, that that kid did that. But if he was 40, I wouldn't like it as much. Where's your own shit, dude? He's got to capitalize on the now. That's not what I'm saying. You're already peaking, kid. It's all downhill.

That's going to suck for you. When you write your own shit and you sing your own shit, to me, I feel like more connected to it. I'll second that. That's why you guys are badass. I totally disagree. Well, Brian doesn't even like music with words.

All Brian likes is like... Are you like a house music guy? I like all music. No, I just like music. Pack band music. I like old 8-bit sounds. Yeah, that's cool. Once in a while.

Are you a jam band kind of guy? I grew up hippie. A little bit of fish? Ween more, but but you just nailed him you nailed him he's dead piss up a rope yeah it's one of the greatest songs ever do you know about the wean doing the pizza hut commercial hold up what did you just say piss up a rope there's a song called piss up a rope by wean wean did a whole album songs ever it wean did a whole album where it's like old school country sounds so so the best thing about ween is like every single one of their songs sounds like a different band almost.

Okay, dude, pull that shit up. I never heard this. Piss up a rope. Ween lets you play their shit on the internet. That's one of the coolest things about Ween. I hope so. No, they do. They're really like open about like you playing shit on the internet and the use of shit.

I love that. You know, at a certain point in time, people have to realize that there's no way you're gonna ever control How many people are downloading your shits impossible, but you can control what you do And if you control what you do and people like it they'll buy it and other people will buy it If you ever wondered what it's like to be me She takes all my money and leaves me no smokes She yells at my buddies and insults my folks I'm breaking my back, doing the best that I can She's got time for the dog and time for the man And I can't smoke, I can't smoke

So hit the fucking road and hiss up a rope So, wait, I gotta tell you about the Pizza Hut story because they were commissioned to write a song for Pizza Hut. And it was like... Ween was? Ween was. And they apparently... God, if I say this incorrectly, I apologize.

But basically, they wrote this tune. And the AB is on YouTube, so you can find this if you wanted to. But basically, they wrote this tune. It was like, where'd the cheese go? Oh, yeah. like where the cheese go it's about this like calzone kind of like fold over pizza and it's supposed to be like so they write and then they write this brilliant song right it's like witty and they produce it and it sounds great it's all about this like fold over stromboli

calzone type thing and it's like where the cheese go where the cheese go and Pizza Hut was like can you make it a little more ridiculous? And so basically they insulted the band, and the band came back with the same song verbatim, except for where'd the motherfucking cheese go? It's so great. It's so brilliant. And obviously it was never placed on a commercial.

That's hilarious. Oh, good. You got it. Oh, that's hilarious. Let's see. Where'd the cheese go? here it is on a commercial that's hilarious oh good you got it oh that's hilarious that's so ridiculous Where did the cheese go? I don't know. That's so ridiculous. Oh, my God. That's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen. Oh, that's great.

That used to be my ringtone back in the day. Really? Oh, Brian's always got the most preposterous shit. If you're ever looking for something bizarre, if you hear a rumor, a whiff of something in the air, is this true? Contact Brian. Brian's got the inside word on all nerd shit. He'll let you know immediately what the fuck is up cheese go yeah I love I love bands that do that put all the shit out there I like like Radiohead sells all their shit online I think it's it's a future right yeah it's a matter of

time we talk about all the time like this this an app stitcher that were available on you get your car now oh someone's phone still sing gay songs my god this time what is this can we hear that ringtone what is that that was little bow wow with a duet with different ones different people call you you have one ringtone our manage your marriage not talking about the Christmas song on Spotify it's way past Christmas You only have one ringtone our manager Talking about the Christmas song on Spotify. It's way past Christmas. Yeah Listen there's a lot of things I say when people think I'm really being serious

There's an instant that you have when you're a comedian to say the worst shit possible all the time. And you try to fight it as much as possible. When someone fucks up, you're like, fire him, fire him. I don't really mean that, dude. No, it's great. I totally don't mean that. No, he's fantastic. But tell him to relax about the fucking Christmas song. Jesus Christ.

Just get the word out there. If we have problems in the future with him, Doug, may we contact you? I'll call him. Forward all calls to me directly. I'll take care of it. See, you know, no one can ever tell you what to do. If they do, it won't work. The only thing that you can do that's good is put yourself out there,

put your music out there, and keep going. All that other stuff, let them deal with it. Publicity stuff, nonsense, but don't let them tell you what to do. That's the bottom line. There's a lot of prognosticators from the outside now sit back and I go which you need to do is yet think that that be my behold the pack I'll something about the there is something about the main for me is ever in whatever said as you like

you can if you just you know they get a lot of crap about his hair that would you just cut your hair attractive and crap about his hair. Yeah, what the fuck? Cut your hair. He's an attractive man. Pen, pen, pen, pen, pen, pen. This is not what the ladies want, Ben. I'm not going to listen. Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben. They never talk about the ladies. Ben, Ben, you're a talented artist.

It would be a shame if you got as far as you got, and then suddenly it all falls apart because of your look. Ben. And they're always Jewish. What do you mean just like that? Ben, I'm with you. I'm not saying Jewish. It's interesting.

I never said Jewish. No, but Suzanne did. I'm going to change my accent right now. Suzanne did. For my love of Jewish people. I must immediately change my accent. I appreciate that Yes, so listen to me, but I got this wire back when I got this game. I know the game vaguely African Five years from now you do whatever the fuck you want We're gonna cut your hair five years from now. You do whatever the fuck you want man. Do you think you can be a little bit taller? This is what you want. Ben, lifts. Everyone wears lifts. Come on, Ben. I got them. I got them I got the socks stuffed in my pants and everything. Anal bleaching. Have you have Has anyone ever given you any anal bleaching? It's a good move dude. Don't hate.

What? Oh no. Did you explain? Let's talk about that? I'm so kidding. By the by. So kidding. The black of the berry, the sweet of the juice, ladies and gentlemen. How dare you

make me go there? Don't challenge me. I don't remember what we were even talking about. Pulling a raisin out of your asshole. That's not what we were talking about. I remember that. It's Sailor Jerry. It's his fault. Yeah, it is Sailor Jerry. Has anybody ever

given you any preposterous advice as far as look or image? Yes. Please tell me. Suzanne, what have they done to you?

Those fucks. Motherfuckers. I'm not going to name names. Don't do it. You don't have to do that. I was told once to... You know what? No, I can't. Go for it. It late now it's too late i got your back i got your back funny but like

basically you know like i aforementioned earlier that like you know our band we're at this level where we write together and we we do like you're making arrangements with the music and it's it's really fulfilling and rewarding and and we're watching it do all these cool things. Um, like being on your show, holy shit balls. Holy shit balls. But I was told a few years back to when I was just starting out and like

trying to figure out how to do things that, um, I should work on being attractive and funny and a good performer and, and not write songs and let my bandmate write the songs and I was like you you want me to do what a guy was trying to fuck shit this guy not and I hope to God not a lot of women don't realize how many guys who are interacting with them want to fuck them no I think I'm gonna hook you up I how many guys who are interacting with them want to fuck them. No, I think this person just wanted to control things.

I'm going to hook you up. I'm going to help you out here. Yeah? Yeah. What do you got? How old is this guy? Oh, he's way older. 50?

Probably, yeah. 50? Way older. Okay. In your eyes, he's out of the game. In his eyes, he's a player. Oh, God. Trust me.

And he knows he can't fuck you. he knows he can't fuck you he knows he can't fuck you he knows you're not attracted to him but his instincts will always be to belittle and to try to in some way to find something wrong with you instead of like as a representation or a representative rather of an artist like the way you should be looking at it is like trying somehow or another to be an aid, to build them up. Not to shoot them down and correct this or change that, but to just pump up all the good stuff. Look at them as you're in some sort of a partnership with them, and the more you can rise them

up, the better it would be for everybody. So it should all be positive and all be reinforcing and honest and everything, but still positive. So when a guy who's a representative shits on you a little bit like that and tries to change what he's selling and change who you are, I always think he wants to fuck you. But you know what? It's a power thing. Regardless if that is true or not.

Listen to me. Stop it. Stop it. Stop with the modesty. Don't even talk right now. No, I'm serious. Listen, you're a very pretty girl. Very.

You're a very pretty girl. You know that. You know that. And you're also talented. So for anybody who gets in a position where they're selling something, most of them are fucks. Most of them, there's a lot of great agents and great managers and great representatives of artists. I love my manager

to death. I've had the same manager since I was an open mic comedian. I love him to death. We also love you, Jeffrey. Sorry about the Christmas thing. Well, my name is Jeffrey, too. That's crazy. His name is Jeff Sussman. That's my manager's name. No bullshit. That's not our guy's last name.

The bottom line is, I'm trying to tell you this guy was trying to fuck you. I'm trying to help you out. But I think it was more of a power fuck. I think it was a power fuck. It's not just that. It's because he's beyond the possibility of being sexually attractive to you. So because of that, it's got to be the power fuck.

I would have fucked. He really would like the regular fuck. All that thought process makes me really uncomfortable because it is that disturbing. But I will tell you this, that those things, like when I was like 22 and I needed, you you know you need champions when you're just getting started and you're kind of like hoping that you do a good job and of course a person that you're looking up to says some bullshit like that to you yes I think that in in the long run those things are a good thing because you come you get over it and then you get better you know and those things just kind of bounce right off of you you know listen there's nothing wrong with who you are, ever.

So if you're a person and you like this, you like country music, you like dressing like this, whatever the fuck you like, whatever you're attracted to. Stop putting a sock in your jeans. Whatever it is. That should be what you gravitate towards. The one time. And as soon as someone comes along and is like,

listen, dude, you know, you're going to have to, like, change this and change that. And whenever someone tries to deviate you off of who you are naturally instead of just trying to enhance you, they're not doing it. They're not helping you out, man. No, but I think that's a general attitude and approach in the show business. Of course. And maybe your businesses.

I don't know. Well, it's also to justify. I mean, they want to add some ingredients to the soup. Yeah. Yeah, well, Ben, that fucking kid can get nowhere. Is this mustache thing?

Is this fucking beard thing going on? You don't like my beard. You know what, though? I think you're absolutely right. I have a mad hair fetish. Sometimes you have to take that hit and know that you're smarter than that person

and keep going, you know, and use them. Or someone could actually give you good advice. That's the truth. That's the craziest thing. Someone could actually give you good advice. It's rare. But then again, they shouldn't be...

Douchey about it. Idiots. But the idea that men always want women to dress like a certain way. Maybe if you're dressed a little bit sexier. Suzanne, can you be more of a C cup? That's impossible. We need bigger areolas.

Can you get a tattoo around your areola that looks like a regular? I had a nickel for every time. I work with this chick, very cool chick, but I won't say her name out of respect because I don't know if she wants people to know about this, but she had cutlets, these rubber cutlets that they stick in your bra. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. They're like a temporary fake boob. They look like chicken.

It's weird. They look like a big slab of rubber chicken, and you stuff your tits with them. It used to be, it's somehow or another like it's acceptable, whereas like tissue paper is ridiculous. No, I've had to wear them before. You made you wear them? Yeah.

I mean, I used to do some modeling back in the day. Oh, shit. What's up? Yeah, what's up? Well, it was just cataloged. You talking about basketball? You got any JPEGs on you? Basketball.

JPEGs. Local Cleveland catalogs. That's no big deal. Got any JPEGs on you? Yeah. Any CD-ROMs in the old bag over there? So, somebody did some modeling. now i understand why you had this shady manager i understand you were in transition no big deal listen i was a paper boy when i was

young it's cool so now you guys know that i'm dumb and that's not true how dare you how dare you play stupid um zoolander. We're playing South by Southwest. And we're apparently... Because, you know, when you play certain shows, they give you things like clothes or fry boots. And we got offered this position where they're like, hey, will you guys play this show? We'll give you free clothes. But you have to walk on a runway.

Whoa. I didn't realize this was the case. I really just... You just kind of walk by and be like hey check out this fucking jean jacket right now that's what you have to do but I'm more excited for Ben to do it yeah because I think that like from a Zoolander standpoint oh yeah it's just gonna be blue steel all over the place I really truly and the panties drop that you will be updating your Facebook profile. Yeah, period blood.

To runway model. I want to see runway model. Once I've done it, I'm not going to lie. One time we did a photo shoot together, and the photographer said to Ben, you have the most beautiful Jesus eyes I've ever seen. And she just referred to him for the rest of the day as Jesus eyes. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah, take a note, ladies. Yeah. What did that out ladies. Yeah. What did that feel like? Did you feel like a lot of weight was on your shoulders? There's a lot of responsibility. Did you feel biblical? Humankind. But I was carrying someone and only two footprints were in the sand.

Could you imagine if you pulled her aside? What's that? I was going to say, could you imagine if you pulled her aside and said, Listen, I want you to keep a secret. I am Jesus. I can't do that. I'm not comfortable with that. I am Jesus.

I am the Lord. And I am back. I am not humorless. I'm not humorless. I am a man. But I also am the Holy Spirit. Do some light modeling. Tell no one.

Tell no one I've got to walk the wrong way. They're calling me. They're about to call me. Give me those chicken cutlets. It wouldn't be that hard, man. You know what you would do? You would, you know, even if you thought that that was hard to pitch, you know, say, listen, I'm not Jesus, but I'm the new guy.

The new guy's name is Ben. It's the new Messiah. You know how Jesus, before there was a Jesus, I mean, nobody knew what the fuck Jesus, you know, you couldn't say. That's true. Before Jesus' birth, you couldn't say, praise Jesus. People go, what the fuck are you talking about? You know why?

Because Jesus didn't exist yet. But Ben's here. Praise Harold. Ben's here. It's Ben now. It's Ben. And that will be the new thing. It'll be praise Ben.

There's a lot of Bens out there, Joe. There's a lot of Bens, but not Jesus. There's a lot of Jesuses out there, too, but they skate by. That's true. Ben, you could have pitched it. You could have started your own cult. Do you have any land anywhere in the middle of nowhere? I don't, but I'm looking for a plot.

Listen, how much beard can you actually grow? Can we be real? Are you trimming that thing? This is kind of all I got, to be honest. You can see the little patchy on the side. Yeah, but Jesus didn't have a full beard. He was kind of piecey like that, too. This is making me very uncomfortable.

Good call. What I would like, if you're comfortable, is just something that looks like a little unkempt. Something that goes over the lips. Yeah, yeah, in the mouth where you really don't have an ego. Maybe I'll shower for a couple of days You know you want to be hygienic, but you want you want to not give a fuck okay? You don't want to stink you don't be repulsive. You don't want to turn into a negative, but you know I don't give a fuck might be a positive. That's all I'm saying okay. I will follow this path Imagine if you were like an agent for cult members or for cult leaders. Like, listen, I think we're

about to get busy with this cult, but what I need from you is more beard. You gotta work on our image. You gotta work on your looks. I mean, really, we're lucky that showbiz people don't get involved in cult making because of cult making. Fuck yeah!

Could you imagine if Alec Baldwin wanted to start his own cult? There'd be a lot of menopausal women who's lining up in the Alex Baldwin cult, right? Just a woman who wants him to yell at her and then hug her just some some weird situation It is very difficult sometimes well I'm drunk yeah I'm getting there this is pretty quick my face is so red right now because it's there's like some sort of heat I bailed and left us with a muster had a pete direction I don't know this is the first show that says I shaved my head so it's looking good asked me earlier they wanted me to ask you why you shaved your

head they lost the feed is it is it done one saying it cut out yeah it seems like it seems like there's no video I've gotten several well the audio seems to be going though let me see if the other is gone is the audio I don't know but the walls are purple yeah I don't know. The walls are purple. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck happened. Let me call Brian real quick. Suzanne is wearing a lacy type shirt. Joe shaved his head.

I'm holding a Tara Patrick book. I could read a random paragraph from it if you'd like. Our first stop was a sleazy lingerie store in Hollywood. Whoa, you reading Tara Patrick's biography? I am. Why do I have my pants on? That's a good point. Let's

go back to one. Let me call Brian and make sure that this is all really going down because I have a feeling. Jeff, what's up, Jeff? It says of all the people online, if you're watching online, it says that it's on, but it doesn't seem to be on. Okay. So we'll call on Brian right now.

I'll continue to read so what did someone have a question what was the question so they asked me they said ask Joe why he shaved his head I tapped out tapped out the hair loss I didn't even tap out but I do a whole bit about in my act I cheated before I tapped out where did he go my fucking freak employee has vanished. Hey, Brian, the feed's down, man. People are complaining. You're crazy.

There's nothing on. See? See Ustream? It's black. Oh, boy. Anyway, my hair was gross. I just got tired of dealing with it, so I shaved it. Is this a good time to pee? Yeah, go pee now.

Okay, I'm going to go pee now. Because I've got to go, too. I've been thinking about it. Me and Ben are going to get to know each other. Oh, God, yes. I'm after you, though. Do you have a knife in your pocket? I do. Oh, my God. You've got to give me Oh, God, yes. I'm after you, though. Do you have a knife in your pocket? I do.

Oh, my God. You've got to give me an up top, girl. I like how you rock it. It says her name on it. I like how you rock it. She gets up. I'm like, is that a fucking knife? It's a really bad.

I like it. I like it. It did that last time, Joe. Like, in the middle of recording, it just stopped. Is it? It doesn't say on here. Yeah, I have it saved on my desktop, but it doesn't say on here. Yeah.

I don't know. Could we reboot it? What do we got to do? I think it's working right now. It doesn't seem to be working on this side, bro, because I turned the volume on. It's not on, man. Should I read more, Terry Patrick? Yeah, man.

Oh, we're back. It is back now. It is back now. It is back now. Okay, good. Tony Lee became my next ally. You know, when we have such a fabulous show, we have so many people that are trying to watch it at the same time, and sometimes shit goes wrong, ladies and gentlemen.

The internet's not perfected. It's always going to be on your Vimeo, so anytime this happens, always just go to your website, joerogan.net. Yeah, and folks, you should also know that folks that are watching this, or rather listening to this, if you ever wanted to watch, especially the ones that we do at the Ice House, it's really pretty badass. We have a whole multi-camera setup, and there's a switcher, and it's like a half-assed cable access TV show.

But you can watch it. You can watch it on Vimeo. But people are actually watching. Yeah, oh, yeah. At least 2,000 people right now are watching. Right now now it's 2082 uh live that's a lot of people but that's a small amount the majority of them are listening to it in mp3 format the um the podcast the video podcast market is like a kind of fraction of what it is for the audio podcast market people want to listen to the jam we're in their car in traffic. A couple years, though, I think that will change.

Do you think so? Because I think there's always going to be time where you're commuting, and that's why people love audio. That's a good point. We come in and commuting. We come in while people are driving. There's sort of a place for all sorts of different types of entertainment. You want undivided attention when you watch a movie.

But with a podcast, we like travel with people. We're on planes with people right now. Right now, we're in cars with people. We're hiking with people. We're at the gym with people. It's a weird sort of a form of entertainment. So the visual aspect is a tiny fraction. It's about 500,000 people.

That's amazing. Oh, my gosh. Well, it started out with just a laptop and like we had a webcam. We were just answering Twitter questions. I don't know what happened. But now it's the most fun thing I've ever done. You know, of all the TV shit I've ever done. It's all fun, but this is the only thing that you could do whatever.

You could do anything, you know. We have you guys on. Yeah, come on. We gotta play music. Hey, hey, hey. You wanna tune your shit? I'm gonna take a leak. Sure. So talk amongst yourselves. or brian you got any questions for them or do you want to um i'll be right back ladies and gentlemen i'll talk to you while they pee but so brian tell

me about your week so hey uh if you guys uh we i just put up a new podcast today a new brian callan podcast and we interviewed jeremy piven and uh we went to his house in Hollywood. And a video version is going to be up later tonight, but the audio version is on iTunes right now. So if you subscribe to Death Squad on iTunes, you'll be able to download that. And it was pretty cool. Also, if you live in the Los Angeles area,

this Friday Joe Rogan is going to be at the Ice House for the Ice House Chronicles, and that's here at the Ice House Comedy Club in Pasadena, California. You can buy tickets at icehousecomedy.com. And it's going to be Joe Rogan and a bunch of other comics, and we just pretty much, we all talk like in a green room style here, and we do it as a podcast at 9 p.m. Pacific, and then at 10 o'clock, the show next door starts,

and one by one, we go from the green room to the whatever. What am I talking about? I don't know. Jesus. I went into commercial mode. Are we still in? No.

Are we on right now? Yeah, we're on. No fact. It was always on. Ben and I were both discussing how we're no we're totally yeah we're on it was always on it it just discussing how we're drunk right now yeah oh shit are there any requests we could just play yeah i do do you know any crabby patty songs yes i do actually okay great because i want to hear a crabby patty song no but that's a real song do you know that crabby patty oh yeah yeah that's i was on that oh really yeah i'm gonna see oh cool oh wait that's the book the spongebob yeah that's

cool brian wilson was always on there how do you know about spongebob do you have kids i know i smoke a lot of weed oh andy's gonna love that yeah andy paley on. The best day ever. Our friend who wrote all the SpongeBob songs, Andy Paley, we went to his wedding a few years back in Kansas, where he got married in Kansas, and at his wedding we performed some SpongeBob songs. Oh, that's awesome. It was a blast. Tom Kenny, the guy who does the voice of SpongeBob, was there.

Tom Kenny is Santa Comic? Yeah. Yeah, he's the voice of SpongeBob. Oh, is he really? Yeah. Abby, Abby. Do you guys watch Adventure Time also? Have you ever seen it?

No. You will love Adventure Time. Okay. It's on the Cartoon Network. You can also get it on iTunes. It's Adventure Time. It's by Pendleton Ward, and it's crack.

You will watch a million. They talk about DMT. It's just like an adult cartoon for kids. It's great. That's awesome. I don't understand. Hey, Brian, do you want me to adjust any of these microphones? No, that's good.

Because I was just going to do one of these. Yeah, that's fine. I just want to point out that you guys are the first band that we've ever had perform on this podcast live. This is an honor. Oh, please. It's an honor for us. This is so fun for us.

So if you have any other bands on the show, can we put them through some sort of level of hazing? Yes. Because that would be really fun. You can be on the board, whatever you want. The only one who has a grandfather clause, though, is Everlast. Because he already talked about it. He wants to come on and do it.

Okay, fair enough. Fair enough. We don't want to fuck with that guy. He's a great guy. Everlast, shout out. And shout out to Deadmau5. Shout out to BeReal too. BeReal, after we did

the last podcast, BeReal wants to do a bunch of them. We're going to do them back and forth. We're going to do them at their studio and simulcast his Ustream, my Ustream, same time. We're going to do all that. We're going to do that real soon. Maybe I could just have a tiny...

Fuck yeah, son! Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, my. So I'm driving back to... That's cool. No, no, no. I'm a very capable driver.

Jesus Christ. Is this going to be filmed or something? Does this mean I can't run for public office? No, it's just online right now. Don't worry about it. That's the shit they gave Neil Armstrong when they made him fake the moon landings. What?

What? Stay out of it. Probably probably. Stay with it. Please do. All right, what are you guys going to sing? We're going to sing a tune called Back to You that we have not yet recorded.

Oh, she's about to say play, right? Yeah, that's what we're going to play and sing called Back to You that we have not yet recorded. You're going to play, right? Yeah, that's what we're going to play and sing. You've not yet recorded Back to You? This is a new song? We never recorded it. Well, no, it's been around for a while. We just never recorded it. Those dirty things you said to me Still hang above my bed

Climb down from the ceiling And rest upon my head I painted all my walls Works have all gone wrong And I'm standing on my walls, works have all gone wrong And I'm wondering babe, when it's coming back to you I'm reaching like a baby, tugging on your sleeve I'm missing all the good things now

I'm too small to see Oh, my arms, they get so tired I'm hanging on this wire Why won't you catch me? And I'm wondering when it's coming back to you now Oh, and I'm wondering when it's coming back to you now Oh, and I'm wondering when it's coming back to you Oh, no And I'm tied up, tied with feeling sorry for myself

And you are so light cause it don't fade I've got that bullet chain you swing around To stake your claim ain't gonna save you Oh no Thank you. I know what goes around comes back around comes back around The words they sound like dirt to me Scraped up off the ground And it gets hard to breathe When it's stuck between your teeth

Don't look to me now Don't look to me now Cause I'm not Coming back to you Oh no I'm not Coming back to you babe Oh no Thank God you didn't make it

As an actress That's all I have to say Thank God that didn't work out Thank you Jesus It's so important sometimes That's all I have to say. Thank God that didn't work out. Thank you, Jesus. It's so important sometimes for shit to go wrong. So important sometimes for shit to go wrong. Come on, man.

That was beautiful. That was amazing. God damn, that was awesome. Thank you. You guys are a fucking potent combination, man. I've heard that song. That song's never been released. It's not on anything?

Is it online anywhere? Well, there's that Esquire House video. Oh, is that it? That's where it is. But we haven't done an audio recording of it yet. But I hope it is. But I heard it before that. It must be the Esquire House thing. Because there's two songs on the Esquire House thing, right? The Angel of Death and that one.

Do you want to hear that one as well? I would definitely. We'll play that for you. Please. Later, later, later. Make me wait for it. May I go to the bathroom, please, Joe? Yeah, please.

Go do it. Oh, dear. You can have ice, bathroom, whatever you want. So now we can talk about Ben while he's... Yeah, let's talk about Ben. If it's more than two shakes, Ben. Don't get crazy, Ben. He's going to do it, too, isn't he? I hope not. You guys have an unusual friendship. It's a than two shakes, Ben. Don't get crazy, Ben. He's going to do it, dude.

So you guys have an unusual friendship. That's a cool little friendship. A working sort of... Unusual friendship, yes. It is unusual. He's my best friend. It's hard for a man and a woman to be friends. It is, but it also is a great balance.

You know what I mean? Yes, if it works, right? Yeah. Yeah, it does. And I feel really lucky because we're like incredibly like our communicative skills are just we're very verbal we're very honest and you know I think something I think a lot of things with bands is being able to be like afraid sometimes and talk about it or like fucked up about something and everyone you know any

friendship sure but this is a business too i mean it's a friendship and a business more technical more more problematic totally and it's you know it's it's a lot of it's a you know there's a lot of emotions woven into this business too because you're creating things and that there's a lot of attachment to that and um we just talk a lot you guys ever have issues like where like you want to pursue a song and it's like i'm not really into it it's not working we we really are on the same page as far as like what works and what doesn't and we like if there's a tune that one of us brings to the table that we're not sure about it we'll we'll give it a good try before it doesn't work and it's

it's always like we just know you know we don't we don't fight about songs like that I've had buddies that have been in bands and that always seems to be the the giant problem is the communication between band members the jockeying for positioning especially with dudes like for dudes it's like ultimately we're gonna be some dick waving contest between band members dude we wave our dicks at each other all the time. Waving my dick in the wind. Sing it, Brian. Seriously. Yeah.

Sorry. It's inevitable, right? I mean, it's a rare thing, what I was explaining, or rather what I was asking. You were talking about our rare friendship. What is it like to have this rare friendship? You guys have, I mean, it's rare that a man and a woman, I mean, you guys really seem like genuine friends. There's not any weird, creepy shit. It's a weird thing when you're hanging out. Sorry, that's noise.

Microphones move. Thank you. You ever hang out with someone and there's a guy and a girl and someone likes someone and someone doesn't like the other person and there's some weird fucking thing going on. For whatever reason. You know what I mean? It doesn't seem like a real friendship. It's like this weird working partnership where the guy's creepy or the

girl's creepy or someone's creepy. There's always something wrong. But you guys just have like this like really like. We're both creepy. You guys just have this easy way about you. And I mean, that's a very difficult thing to accomplish in this life, especially young. You guys are very young. You said, what did you say, 28?

26. 26. And how old are you? 27. I'm the one in the late 20s. Yeah, I'm the older one. I mean, that's, you guys are, you know, you're really young. 26 and how old are you? 27. I'm the one in the late 20s. I'm the older woman. You're really young.

To have your shit together this well and to be buddies like this and so collaborative without any weird ego shit. That says a lot about the both of you. That's been a big part of everything we've done. When she was talking earlier about what someone had said to her, similar experiences, obviously not with the same adjectives. No one was me to be like the attractive one but uh you know there's

there's a lot of getting over ego in this situation which i think has only served both of us you know what i mean like uh just as much as that type of thing has happened to her you know i i tend to fade into the background when you know she's a beautiful woman she's singing she's a front person blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah, blah. And, you know, being able to be comfortable, not feeling threatened that no one gives a shit about what I'm doing or cares, you know, knows what I'm doing in the band has been something that has been great for me, I feel like, actually, to get over that. You know what I mean? And not really, you know, be too invested in what people think they understand about our relationship or anything like that. All right, listen, Suzanne, this is going to end horribly wrong.

Oh, boy. This is going to completely fall apart at a certain point in time. I'm terrified. You guys are the perfect little collaborative sort of a situation. I mean, it really is beautiful. Thank you. When it sinks and it works, it's obvious in what you produce. What you produce is so fascinating.

It's really compelling stuff. It's really good. Thank produce. What you produce is so fascinating. It's really compelling stuff. It's really good. Thank you. Well, thank you. And something that's really important to us is comedy and having fun. And there's a lot of serious elements to what we're doing because we want it so badly to be our life and our career. And obviously times are tough.

It's like we're not selling a million records right now, and that be cool if we did um but you know we're working our asses off and and it's very rewarding and like if we're not having a blast if we're not having a blast then there's something wrong and even when we're like broke as shit which we totally are we're having so much fun well you guys know right now you're as legit as you'll ever be it's impossibly pretty much everything's going downhill when success hits you then it's like oh you know they didn't fucking respond your tweets anymore you know it's gonna get you're in the you're in the perfect position because because once you become famous and once everything takes off then people are gonna be looking at you like oh you know you're just like fucking

mainstream now it's like you're not the same you know what you were like right now you like you're in your romantic prime and you guys are you remember that just another band out of boston on the road to try to make ends meet you ever heard that boston song no we were just another band out of boston on the road to try to make ends meet sleeping in in our car. I forget the fucking lyrics. But the point is they did a show. A guy came to the show and they got discovered.

You guys are like right there when the guy comes to the show and next thing you know you're on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine with Matt Taibbi. Who? You don't know who Matt Taibbi is? He's the Hunter S. Thompson for 2012. That's pretty cool. Brilliant writer.

Wow. Okay. Although a little mean, a little on the mean side. Andrew Breitbart died, and the day he died, he wrote an article called Death of a Douchebag. Jesus. The day he died? The day he died. Jesus.

Wow, he doesn't give a shit. Ratings. Well, you know, Matt Taibbi is fucking... Was it an accidental death, was it fuck no no he died he knew he was dead causes no bright bart died of natural causes okay and you know i was like wow matt taibbi doesn't give a fuck you know like that or or or it's a calculated move either way but the the thing is people were there's a lot of people that were so upset about bright bart's politics that they didn't seem to mind that this happened, that he died like that.

So I was like, wow. You know, I was like, wow, Matt Taibbi's a bad motherfucker. I can't believe he did that. I don't think Hunter S. Thompson gave a shit either. He didn't. He didn't. And I don't agree with Matt Taibbi. I would have never done that.

Even if it was my worst enemy, I would have never done that. But a guy who's willing to do that, holy shit, that guy's got balls. And I guess the point is, like, you know, you're not forgiven for being a cunt just because you're dead. Drink. Sorry. Salutes. And I guess the point is like you know you're not forgiven for being a cunt just because you're dead For good or for evil you know whether it's right well you neither should be yeah, you you know what look we should all be We shall be sorry for all the shitty things we've done while we're alive But just because you're dead doesn't mean we're supposed to re-examine your existence, right? I mean, for your own good, for the good of your own history, it's better to keep things real.

Well, I don't know. Maybe you should re-examine because then you have this ultimate perspective. But at the same time, if you were, in fact, a douchebag, then you can't avoid that. You can't change it in the afterlife. But at least you're in the clouds. You're hanging out with harp dudes. Why harps in heaven please

harp is a beautiful instrument how come heaven doesn't get a violin violin's really hard to learn and when you're learning it

it sounds like shit it does and when you've learned it and you haven't practiced it it sounds like shit one of the things

that I really like about your music is it made me remember how much I like songs with violins in them it's very rare some might beg

to differ with you no I think that's a great it's very rare some might beg to differ with you no i think i think that's a great instrument there's a powerful there's a there's a thing to a violin you know i mean there's like there's a reason why the devil went down to georgia it's such a badass song and it's not because of guitars or drums it's a fucking violin man it's a violin battle it's a violin battle with the devil okay charlie motherfucking daniels by the way in a violent battle with the devil okay Charlie motherfucking Daniels by the way in a violent battle with Satan and anybody would say there's

something wrong with the violin doesn't understand life you know it's not there's nothing wrong with the violin is what's wrong is the application of the violin the violin when properly applied is that a word? Properly applied? Yeah. When it's properly applied, it's beautiful. You guys use it a lot. You use the violin a lot.

Yeah, yeah. I think lately we've been using the banjo a little bit more, but it's in there. It's woven in there. Little threads of it. You've got kind of like a little country sort of a thing going on. Like there's a lot of country influence to a a lot of stuff you do yes and no I think that the yes like angel of death is a total throwback country tune stylistically speaking what about let's get wrecked but that's that's not

country that's more like rockabilly kind of unfortunate rock and roll oh really I feel like we blew it on that song a little bit we did what we did we're trying to rework the chorus the chorus isn't what it should be oh please shut the fuck up you guys are crazy no but you guys are out of your mind we're intoxicated enough to just tell you how we really feel well i know that you listen there's a lot of jokes jokes that i've recorded on cd and then like a month later I know how to do them better I'm like fuck it's too late you know they're gone but you know you gotta accept it as a observer that's one of my favorite songs you guys have love that song thanks but you know it's funny it's like you Bob Dylan ripoff yeah for sure shit happens it sounds very Johnny Cash ish in the beginning well they dug

each other like the way the way the writing is. Well, there's a song called Bob Dylan's 115th Dream, which is on this, it's Bring It Back Home is the name of the record. And it's just like, it's that. We're just trying to write that song, literally. Sorry, I wish I had asked that. What is Bob Dylan's son's name again? Jacob.

We opened up for him a couple times. The Wallflowers, right? Yeah, yeah. His kids were Fear Factor fans. Really? And I got to meet him way back in the day when Fear Factor was on TV. His kids wanted to meet him. I was like, holy shit, I'm meeting Bob Dylan's fucking son.

And I really like those guys, too, by the way. I think their two albums are fucking amazing. Wallflowers? Yeah. Yeah, he wrote some really great songs. He did. There's one. I got one of those ex-girlfriend songs, you know,

or you can't listen to it because it's that one person in your life. It's like, boom. It's like there's one song that that dude put out. The fucking sting. Wow. That's the sting. That's the sting? Yeah.

The sting of the past? Yeah. Everybody's got a sting. Yeah. Oh, or more. Or, yeah, potentially. What other stuff do you listen to

you know what man I've got pretty eclectic tastes you know I'll be I like a lot of old shit for some

I don't mean old I mean like 70s and 60s like American rock no how dare you how dare you cat stim

my testicular output so shyly a lot of like Leonard Skinner. I like a lot of like Allman Brothers shit. I like a lot of Southern Rock. Oh, that's great. I like a lot of like, I think there's a bit of, there's less pretension and more rhythm to a lot of Southern Rock

that I really like, you know? And I love like Leonard Skinner. And I love, I love like Leonard, Leonard Skinner when they got big, put out some of my favorite shit because it was all about getting the fuck away from people, all their songs. They made like 10 songs. Get the fuck away from me. I mean, every song was, I gotta be free.

I'm a free bird. Every fucking song was just like, leave me alone. You know, Lord, I can be free. I'm a free bird. Every fucking song was just like, leave me alone. You know, Lord, I can't change. You know, gotta go. That's funny. Yeah, I've never, that's great. They call me the breeze. See ya.

It was like over and over and over again because all they were was just getting tugged on by a billion people. But they still had that, you know, that Southern rock flavor, you know, that there's like a twangy sort of, you know, like more of a rhythmic thing people, but they still had that Southern rock flavor. There's like a twangy sort of more of a rhythmic thing to a lot of

the Southern rock. Stevie Ray Vaughan. I love Stevie Ray Vaughan. He's the shit. That was one of the dudes. I never learned to play like that, but he was one of the guitar hero guys that I really connected with.

I used to listen to those records all the time like Texas Flood and all that shit. Dude, come on man. Couldn't Stand the Weather? The live version of Couldn't Stand the Weather? When you listen to that please everybody go get that Stevie Ray Vaughan live with Double Trouble right? It was Couldn't Stand the Weather. Was this when the the old one it was like in 83 or something before they? I don't remember what it was, but he had a bunch of live versions of songs that were really amazing, and one of them was Voodoo Child. You ever heard him do Voodoo Child live?

Oh, my God. It's one of the best versions. Look, I'm a huge Hendrix fan. I mean, the reason why we called this the Joe Rogan Experience is a total ripoff of Jimi Hendrix. Because when I was a kid, I was a huge Hendrix fan. I mean, the reason why we called this the Joe Rogan experience is a total ripoff of Jimi Hendrix. Because when I was a kid, I was a huge Hendrix fan, like always. Yeah, me too.

But the only guy who ever took a song that Hendrix did and put it in a different place, not necessarily a better place, but a different place, was Steve Ray Vaughan. He had so much respect for Hendrix, too. That was the thing, I think. Yeah, yeah. And open respect. And in his music videos, he had Hendrix posters in the background. He for Hendrix too. That was the thing I think. Yeah, yeah. And open respect. And in his music videos, he had like Hendrix posters

in the background. You know, he like, he loved Hendrix. It wasn't like, there was no like swagger jacking going on. It was just like, this is his version of it.

Yeah. When was, when did Stevie Ray Vaughan pass away? I think 1995. You know, I almost got to drive him. I was a limousine driver

in Boston when I was 19. No kidding. I almost got to drive him. Wow. Yeah limousine driver in Boston when I was 19. No kidding. I almost got to drive him. Wow. Yeah. I was 20, 1920, somewhere around there. And he was touring with Jeff Beck. And Jeff Beck got in the van, but Stevie Ray Vaughan wouldn't get in any limousines.

He would only take cabs. Huh. So he, like... That's weird. Yeah, he didn't like being in limos. He was like, this is creepy. That's funny. He would get in cabs because he liked to talk to people and smoke cigarettes. That's cool. Yeah, he didn't like being in limos. He was like, this is creepy. That's funny. He would get in cabs because he liked to talk to people and smoke cigarettes.

That's cool. Yeah. Whatever he did. That makes him even cooler. Man, you got to check out, you know Gary Clark Jr.? You like Gary Clark Jr.? You got to check out. Gary Clark Jr.

Every once in a while. And Stevie Ray Vaughan was one of these guys who brought blues to a point where the mainstream could really appreciate it. And I feel like Gary Clark Jr. is doing that right now. Gary Clark Jr. Yeah yeah he's the real deal i got into uh... female singers when i was a kid because uh... while was uh... doing uh... martial arts competitions kickboxing i would always look for

something that was like the opposite of that something that was like calming you know because really cool yeah who well i think yeah i read the book of five rings it's a book by this time you know because that's really cool yeah well i think yeah i read the book of five rings it's a book by this guy miyamoto musashi who's a great samurai and killed like 62 men in one-on-one battles with sword fighting and shit and um he he wrote this thing and it's called the book of five rings and what the book of five rings is it's a book on how to live life and it's basically all about balance.

And one of the things that he proposed that every samurai should also be an artist. You should be well-versed in poetry and that you should be able to express yourself. There should be no holes in your ego. There should be no kinks in your game. Wow. And so when I was competing, I recognized that my, you know, as a man, your biggest insecurity when you're young especially is a weakness. Any sort of weakness, whether it's love.

I used to even literally think that sex, like pleasure, was a weakness. Catholicism. No, no, no. It wasn't even that. It was fighting. It was a discipline issue. It was desire, right? It was a discipline.

It was exactly. You wanted to be able to free from desire. Yeah. It was not just desire, but pleasure. Like you don't need pleasure, bitch. Get out, run, go run hills in the snow. And so this book sort of introduced my head to the idea of relaxing some of my caveman bullshit and appreciating like the feminine aspects of things. So the first thing I started getting into was like women singers.

like the feminine aspects of things. So the first thing I started getting into was like women singers. And so I was like, like, uh, I think it was like, uh, 18 or 19 years old when I, uh,

I got into like, uh, Ricky Lee Jones. I was just going to say, yeah, she was at, yeah. Chucky's in love,

dude. That's a great goddamn song. She was a bad-ass bitch. She was a bad-ass bitch. Any Linda Ronstadt? Oh, fuck yeah. Are you kidding me? We play You're No Good all the time on this show.

You're not good. We played it to the point where I got mad at him. I'm a huge Diana Ross fan, too. Diana Ross with big nipples. Yeah. My hair kind of looks like Diana Ross right now. Oops. Whoops.

Let's not talk about it. I'm sorry I brought it up. There's a lot of guys, man. When I tweeted, you know, all these guys are the shit, you know, check out this video. And I put one of your videos up. I got called a homo by at least 100 people. Those dudes are afraid, though.

They're fucking terrified. You fucking weird. There's something about a guy liking, like, something weak and soft. Like, oh, I like cuddles I like hugs fucking pussy You know what every every every strong man every like when you get sick you still get the fucking sniffles It's true embrace it. Okay. I like how you're thinking I got it. I made sense Like little bunny sniffles

You know what I mean like you can you can act. You can be as tough as you want to be. But when you're sick, you get the sniffles. And you make poopies. You don't like it. And you make poopies. In the end. Once or twice a day if you're lucky. If you're lucky.

If you take your fiber. If you eat broccoli. If you don't, you might have issues. Yeah, right? And in the end, we're all dead anyway. What the fuck? So, you know, it takes a... There's a certain amount of time that you need to live on this life

before you sort of accept the fact that, you know, you just got to enjoy this and realize that none of it makes any fucking sense. You know, I don't want to go backwards here, but you were really... You really impressed and inspired me when you were talking about this book of five rings and martial arts. And, like, you know, you would think... It's responsible for this, too.

You would think that... Oh, that's cool. Is that him?'s beautiful it's really beautiful yeah this is this guy aaron delavadova from guru tattoo in san diego did it but that's what it is minimo but i mean i think there's something that's it's true wisdom when you can have a balance of calm within within the arena of, I don't want to say war because that sounds really dramatic, but when you're in battle, but in the proverbial sense. Just competition, pressure.

But in life in general, you know what I mean? Because there's a lot of shit out there. Of course. Especially if you're doing something like that or even when you play a show like where you have to you have to center yourself and it's really easy to um want to just die you got to check the pool for water before you dive in you know what i mean it's like it's really easy to just go into situations in any capacity in any facet whether it's you're going to work or you're in a competition or you're playing a rock show or you're dating, you know, without.

That is sometimes a fucking wrestling match, isn't it? Fuck yeah. Are you kidding me? Good God. I'm in my late 20s. I know, buddy. Holla. But seriously.

Early, late 20s. Thank you, Ben. That's really nice of you to redeem yourself after calling me old. In the car. With the old there. But seriously. You got to take that, bro. You got to take that. You got to say, I'm sorry.

Thank you. I'm sorry. Question mark. With a condition, always. Well, you know, it came, my ideas of chasing down, like, a balance came out of very purely selfish reasons initially. It was just I didn't want to get my ass kicked. It was that simple. It was just I didn't want to get my ass kicked. It was that simple. It was just like to compete better,

I felt like I needed to balance myself out. Really kind of a weird way to approach it, but to me, it's the only thing that made sense. It's like I tried meditation. I did that as well, but I think there was other stuff that needed to be addressed as well. Have you been competing your whole...

No, I did when I was young. When I was growing up, like in high school, I did mostly. Until I started doing stand-up comedy. And that's when I was like 21 or 22. So when I started doing that, then I just completely abandoned the idea of competition. I was just sort of doing that at that point. I had momentum.

I'd done it so much when I was a young kid. Yeah. But there's a lot of shit that comes out of martial arts that is clearly and directly applied to art, to any form of art. Absolutely. And it's from that Musashi book. The idea that you...

There was so much that's fascinating about that book was this guy that lived hundreds and hundreds of years ago. He was basically a man who would go and have one-on-one battles to the death with other men. So he could have no weakness. He could have no imbalance in his thought process and his ability to to you know to to to objectively look at any situation he had to really be aware of what his strengths and

weaknesses are how to improve upon himself and so this was his approach you know and i just always found that like who who faced crazier shit than this guy in life 60 one-on-one sword battles could you fucking imagine? but I think it's amazing oh my god sorry to interrupt no please I think it's amazing that someone who's so successful at all that stuff

was so focused on accepting the entirety of himself you know what I mean? that's why he was so good yeah exactly it's like then if you aren't repressing certain avenues of yourself, I don't see how that would be an unsuccessful thing to do. Well, I think a lot of us, you know, human beings, we require something to imitate.

We require someone who leads by example. And oftentimes we're left in situations where it's all peripheral. Like the people that lead by example, they might be on television or in movies. You're not sure how much of that is bullshit. But your examples that you reach in everyday life, they're not good. They're not good examples of people.

So what are you imitating? I mean, the tribe imitates the big buzz of the hive. I mean, if you look at like Japan, it's a perfect example. I just got back from there super polite strange alien culture where everyone's nice and everyone's height height everywhere you go everyone is super polite and you're like well how did this happen how this happened because somehow or another they they engendered this type of thinking and it got in a buzz and then everybody just copied everybody else, and then it became what it is.

It became what it is. It was planted, it grew, and now it is what it is. But, you know, that's not, it's not easy to pull off of Japan. It's not easy to pull it off of Japan, but it is. What we need, one of the things we need, especially when we're young, we need examples. We need other, we need someone else to imitate. We need someone else to say, we need someone that shows, it's why we love heroes.

It's why we love, you know, the great heroes of movies. I mean, Joseph Campbell stories. It's all, the idea behind it is all that we need someone to aspire to so that we realize the weaknesses of our own, you know, insecurities or our own dissatisfaction with who we are.

You know? This is too much? No, this is are. Yeah. You know? God. This is too much. No, this is amazing. No, this is too much. It's too much, dude. But I think it's an interesting thing because your perspective going to a place like Japan,

you're going there as a successful entertainer. You know what I mean? And that also, not to challenge your perceptions at all, but your perspective is uh someone who people in that environment are looking to please as well you know that's definitely a good point but um really i saw it amongst uh everyone everywhere yeah the way i i really um i watched a lot of people i sat i sat down in the hotel lobby for a long time one day just watching people interact with each other.

And they were so polite. It was amazing. And everyone's like slightly bowing to each other. And hi, hi, hi, hi. And everyone's just really trying to be super accommodating. The security at the arena could not have been politer. They were easily by far. Right, Brian?

Easiest to get past the security also remember that yeah Well, they didn't understand that Brian was with me But you know I have these these passes and supposed to be like you know like just leave me alone You know there's a big pass. I know what I'm doing, and you know when I'm trying to move the guy through I'm like he's with me. It's okay He's with me, and they just didn't know what the fuck that meant and in America We do it all the time you know everyone knows every you know it's cool, but you know in in Japan They didn't know what was going on, so In America, we do it all the time. Everyone knows. It's cool. In Japan, they didn't know

what was going on, so I was like, it's okay. They're like, okay. It was this weird communication. They didn't understand English. They were so polite, they just let us go by. I don't want to say nobody would bullshit their way there, but it's much more uncommon than it is in America.

You can never just let a guy come up to you and go, I've got much more uncommon than it is in America. You can never just, you know, let a guy come up to you and go, I got to go over there real quick. Yeah. Hi, hi, hi, hi.

Suzanne lived in, this is something I love about Suzanne. She lived in Tokyo when she was like 16, 17. Oh my God. As a model? Yeah. How dare you hang out with the Russians?

I didn't, I had some Russian friends. Yeah. Wow. What was that like? You know, it was, I was 16. I was so young. Who the fuck let you go there when you were 16? My parents.

Jesus Christ. What the fuck, man? You know, my folks let me move to New York when I was 16, too, which is pretty crazy. But, you know, there's details. They were with me for a lot of the time. Joe may appear again. I'm sorry. Oh, my God, buddy.

Come on, man. But, you know, culturally speaking for Japan, it's definitely jolting, especially when I was that young going over 10 years ago. Jesus, I'm old. Sorry, that's dumb. No, you just were there when you were a baby. But it's weird for me to say like over 10 years ago. It's very weird. Yeah, you just were there when you were a baby. But it's weird for me to say over 10 years ago. It's very weird. Yeah, but you were fucking 16.

I was. That's crazy. I was. What's that about? What was your mom thinking? Just get around the house. Get around the house. They were really...

No, my parents are really amazing people. They were super supportive about you being a model in Japan? Not that. They've always just they've known that i i have i've been driven with things like i've always had things you know like i grew up doing a lot of musical theater and i sing a choir and i played an orchestra and and i just would work my ass off like this things that i loved and they i attribute a lot of my opportunities to the their support because they were never like, no, you can't do that.

You're too young. They were just like, yeah, let's do this. That's amazingly open-minded. They were great. Yeah, they still are. You know, they live in Ohio, but they, you know. Oh, wait. Yeah.

It's okay. I've got a lot of folks from Cleveland. I've got to ask, what do they do? What does your dad do? What does your mom do? My family owns a restaurant, an Italian restaurant. Yeah, my grandparents started it. It's called Santos.

And what led you on this crazy journey to be a model in Japan at 16 years old? Well, I started locally in Cleveland. I was in like Value City department store ads growing up. How long would you go to Stanford? Occasionally it would be like totally mortifying because I'd be in like a Dick's Sporting Goods ad in a sports bra. And I'd go to high school and everyone's like, oh saw you in your training bra I'm like it's for athletes wow you jackass um but no they they let me they let me go um I I was uh scouted by an agency when I'd previously spent my summer in Chicago when I was 15 which is so funny because like

the agency was like, there's going to be chaperones and you guys, they're going to live in like a model's apartment and there's people there. And like, I did whatever I wanted and I was going to bars and I was 15. Oh my God. It was crazy. It was crazy. Oh my God.

You grew up hardcore, kid. I didn't. I was like, you know, I was still a virgin till then. Listen, you just got really personal. I have three daughters. Don't freak me out. I'm not. I'm then. Listen, you just got really personal. I have three daughters. Don't freak me out. I'm not. I'm not.

No, no. You know what? Just talk to them. Three daughters. Oh, I talked to them like crazy, bro. Suzanne has two sisters. Three sisters. Excuse me.

Three sisters. Four girls in my family. Are you the oldest? The youngest? I'm the youngest. Oh, Jesus Christ. They've given up by then. Of course they let you go.

Of course they let you go. Of course they let you go. Jesus Christ. That's ridiculous. If you were baby number one, I want to tell you, you would have never made that fucking trip, sister. We're done. Throwing in the towel. Well, no. It's not even that.

It's that they would have been terrified of losing you. But by the time they got down to you, they were like, let her free. Go ahead. Japan sounds reasonable. I heard they're nice. Japanese people are polite. Good luck over there, kid. Wow. Was it hard to kid. What's the longest amount

you stayed there? I was there for like two months. My whole summer, basically. Anything creepy ever happen? Yeah. That just made me laugh. There was a lot of creepy stuff, but nothing that was dangerous

or bad for me. Just like enticing, gross, enjoyable, vomiting. This is the funny part. So I don't know if I should talk about this. You surely should. Definitely. So the one and only time that I've ever done ecstasy was in Japan and I was with I was with this like incredibly beautiful professional boxer from New Zealand and so we basically like we did ecstasy

do you have a song written about this no no no we made out right we ate we ate popsicles and watched the matrix and like later as an adult I look back and I'm like I can't believe like I didn't get raped or something You know what I mean? I totally like you know that was it It was like totally innocent and like literally when I got the plane I was like hey mom dad I had a really good time in Japan. I tried ecstasy still a virgin everything's good Like I told the kind of messages you can look forward to Sounds like an amazing gate, by the way.

Yeah, you might be the coolest chick of all time. I want to do that tonight. We don't have to wake up early tomorrow, sir. If I knew it was going to be that kind of party. Actually, I think we do. Do we? Why, do you guys have like, what's going on now? You guys have concerts going on?

A lot of big shows you were saying at your show in Santa Monica that you were nervous about your upcoming shit? Well, we have a lot of things coming up, but it's funny. Newport Folk Festival people are listening, and they were asking us to talk about that. Yeah, see, tell these people to shut their pie hole. This is what you need to do. They're worth talking about.

Honey, honey band at Twitter, okay? All the information should be in your background. Put that shit up on your wallpaper, you know? So when people go to view entire profile, go to honeyhoneyband.com. Is that it? Is that where you're at? That is it. Everybody always wants you to really focus on their thing, though. Remember the festival. Remember the festival.

We've got a big summer. That is a great festival, though. It is. I'm sure they're all great. We're fucking pumped. No, we have great stuff coming up. We're playing South by Southwest, which is next week. Is that true that they just don't pay for plane tickets?

They don't pay for shit? No, we're not going to pay for shit. No, they don't pay for anything. Isn't that crazy? We're going to lose our asses on that one. How does that work? But you know what? We're going to have a damn good time losing our asses.

I'm sure you are, but isn't that a little odd that South by Southwest? My friend Duncan Trussell, who's a stand-up comedian, got invited to South by Southwest and he had no idea that this was the case. And he said this is the most preposterous fucking thing of all time. This is like a big financial success. And they're not

paying anybody? And so he made this whole video of Hitler screaming and yelling. And Hitler is like yelling at people and in the, you know, you don't know what the fuck Hitler says unless you. Hitler is yelling at people. You don't know what the fuck Hitler says unless you speak German. German. Germany. That's the country. He's got in subtitles in English all the different things about, can you fucking believe

how South by Southwest works? How ridiculous it is that they just fly you out. They don't even fly you out there. They don't take you to your hotel room. They don't give you a drink ticket. They give you bottles your hotel room. They don't give you a drink ticket. They should at least give you a drink ticket. They give you bottles, thank Christ. Otherwise, I wouldn't go.

That means that somebody's donating bottles. But South by Southwest is kind of like an amorphous thing. It's like we're playing shows. None of the shows we're playing are South by Southwest. They're people who have venues set up at South by Southwest. Oh, I see. Yeah, so it's a crazy thing. My friend Doug Stanhope used to do that with the Montreal Comedy Festival.

The Montreal Comedy Festival used to be called Just for Laughs, and it was like the big industry festival. It still is, sort of. And he would do Just for Spite and do it at the exact same time that they would do it and do his own shows in town. Just sort of piggybacking. That's funny. So is that sort of like that kind of a thing?

No. Like everybody gathers in that town. You put all kinds of shows happening in the town. I mean, it's a convention. It's a real – like that's what it's based on. And that's the reality of it is a convention. Not many people pay attention to that aspect of it. But all these people, everyone from the industry just comes in and wants to

showcase. I would be cool if they just paid for your plane ticket in your hotel room. That'd be nice. I mean, look, if you really want to operate on the idea that it's a huge publicity campaign, and I guess it is. This is when we're going to call upon you for martial arts sweet moves. No one wants to pay for shit. I mean, that's the reality of it.

The internet is your friend. The internet is your friend. These companies are not your it. The internet is your friend. The internet is your friend. These companies are not your friend. The internet's your friend. The internet will get your information, your music,

your thoughts, your ideas, your best shit delivered way better than any of these fucking crazy people in some weird town that want to fucking

put up tents. That's not it. God, we haven't slept in a tent yet, which is good. Which is good, but we've had some crazy experiences with Days Inn outside of Indianapolis.

What happened to Days Inn? Denver, actually. Denver, too. Oh, my God. Basically, we've pretty much banned it. When we're stuck, like when we're driving like 18 hours or whatever the fuck, and we get to that point where we're like, just stop anywhere. It doesn't matter.

If there's a Days Inn, don't go. Ever. Ever. Wow. Sorry, Days Inn. Strong words. Brian knows, too. Days Inn, a Days Inn, don't go. Ever. Ever. Wow. Sorry, Days Inn. Strong words. Brian knows, too. Days Inn.

Brian, it's the worst. I just want to say that I've stayed in Days Inns before. I've had no issues. When? When, though, Joe? Back in the Dizzee, yo. Okay, well, the Dizzee has changed. You say.

But I don't think you can generalize. How many Days Inns have you stayed in? Well, we've had two. How many? Give me a number. 30? We've had two for two. No. Okay, that's not enough to judge. No,? Too many. How many? Give me a number. 30? We've had two for two. No.

Okay, that's not enough to judge. No, you're right. That's a Nielsen number. You guys are getting crazy. You tell your story outside of college. We have a 100% fucking creep us out rate. This was like, it was a crack house. It was a days in crack house.

That does happen occasionally. Are you comfortable with us saying this on your podcast? Well, I don't give a fuck. Okay, good. Listen, first of all, it's not me that's saying it. Oh, yeah, no. That's a good point. It's really clear that this is you.

So you're the ones that are going to look like assholes. This is funny, honey. We can run this shit through a computer, and for sure, that's not my voice. This is the experiences we've had. We've had. We went to Days Inn. This is in Denver. First of all, the man in front of me booking... booking his room and is in was buying condoms with

loose change this is not true not exactly what we've got up to the room somebody in our room somebody knock on the door it were two seventeen and then he scurried off not a joke and then as we realize this is not the position for us to be in, we were leaving.

Some dude in 213 tried to pick a fight with me. As he came out of the shadows, fucking came at me. What did he say to you, Ben? Something about me being pussy, probably. I don't know. I shrimped out. No worries. I feel like I just got trolled.

How dare you, Ben? How dare you? Shrimped out. That's what I had to do You kept that like a Range in your pocket This is why we need you Joe Joe you need to teach us your ways Listen I need you guys too

I need you guys for inspiration Okay so we'll trade you songs For sweet moves Listen I will do Whatever you guys Need me to do Except anal Is that the truth?

Brian why did you have to Taint this experience Brian is just That's what he does. He's a human train wreck. He's fucking boards on a railroad track. He's creating problems. Oh, Brian. Yeah.

We need to make that shirt. We keep talking about it. We need to make a shirt that says, oh, Brian. Because he does this every podcast. That's sort of his job. Oh, Brian. I got it. When he says something completely inappropriate, because he does this every podcast. That's sort of his job. Oh, Brian. Yeah. Oh, I got it.

When he says something completely inappropriate that only his Ohio mind can figure out. You guys gonna play the angel death? Yeah. You want to hear it?

Fuck yeah. Tune up your shit. I'm gonna pee. Oh, good. This is the most we've ever peed in any podcast.

I know. It's a lot of pee. I blame alcohol. Yeah, we should do that. Hold on. What is the sound of a violin being tuned? To my phone? It sounds like my ex-wife.

What does that mean? Were you married, Brian? No. Oh. Did you ever play violin? No, I played trumpet, bassoon, keyboard, tuba. Do you have any of those instruments with you? Would you like to play along with us?

I don't have them anymore, and I don't know how to play anymore. Hold on, now I'm going to tune. I lost all of it. Hey, B-Dogs, if I play like this, is that going to be, like, can I play up to this guy, or should I play up to that guy? You can play whatever you want. Okay. How do I make this thing work? It's not moving.

Sorry, we're tuning via application app. Now, do you find that's accurate enough? I'd be honest. I can't tell the difference. That's a machine and I am but a man. Let's try that one. Have you guys been back to Ohio lately? You know what? I went back to Ohio for a month over Christmas.

Yeah. And it was awesome. We played a show. Where'd you play? It was great. I'm in the Cleveland area. Is the flat still around? I heard the flats aren't even there anymore.

Too many people got drunk and drowned in the river. So that is gone now. When I met Suzanne, one of the first things she did was tell me about how she met Drew Carey. And she ran up to Drew Carey and said, Hi, Drew Carey, I'm Suzanne, and I just want to tell you that I'm really proud of you and everything you've done for Cleveland. I did.

That's so awesome. I said, I love you so much, and nobody pimps Cleveland harder than you do. Is that what you said? Yeah, yeah. And he tweeted back. Like, I tweeted at him, and he retweeted our tweet. Drew Carey is one of the nicest guys I've ever met. He is so nice.

Especially in Hollywood. He's such a great guy. I was around him once. He was at the improv. And I'll never forget what he did. There was some kids that were, like, just starting out. They were, like, open micers. And someone asked something. I don't know what it it was someone asked some sort of a stand-up comedy

related question and drew carrie like made a a point of like look at him in the eye and go listen just write one joke every day every day just make yourself write one joke at the end of the week you got seven new jokes just write one and he was like like and the kid was like mystified like holy shit this is drew carrie like he was an open micer and drew carrie's going listen Just write one. And he was like, like, and the kid was like mystified. Like, holy shit, this is Drew Carey. Like he was an open mic-er and Drew Carey's going, listen, just write one joke every day. You can do that, right? One joke. Just sit down, write one joke. He had a big smile on his face. He's very present. Oh, he's a nice guy. He was listening to me. And then like, I was the one who was a babbling idiot. Like I, I, it kind of threw me off that he was like hi how are you like it's really really warm and i was like i'm good anyway so uh okay gotta go bye i probably thought it was totally insane

which is good because yeah it's almost accurate it's it's possible to stay stay a nice person in this this crazy world it's possible you know drew carrie made it sorry no please please do you I mean like when I think about sitting down and writing a joke I don't understand you know like it feels like I mean I made this is stupid because I write songs you know so it's the same thing right like do you have you been through that period where you sit down and write a joke a day are you every single day you try and write something well what I do one of three things one one is i i start just by just responding to people on twitter and like looking for uh interesting things that people

are tweeting me it's always some weird fucking thing a guy got eaten by a crocodile and this this thing happened here and then they got some new way to develop sperm in a lab and there's always a little bit of that so i'll do that for like maybe 20 minutes and then what i do is i just uh i just write like essays. I just sit down and whatever it is I start with, it doesn't matter. I can start with talking about, you know, this is why it's good to get drunk. And I'll just start just whatever the fuck comes out of my head. I just need a starting point.

I need somewhere to press the green light. And then I just start writing. And as much as comes out as possible. And then I have to go back and sort of dissect it and then i take chunks out of it and then throw those chunks in and then those chunks become like it all condenses it goes through like a filtration process when then it becomes like don't don't don't punch line you know and and sometimes no sometimes like you have to go through long set up things for more complex ideas, but for the most part that's what stand up all comes down to for me.

But everybody has a different way of writing. I mean do you think about rhythm when you do it? Because you just want to do, do, do, punch that. Yes, definitely. Yeah man, rhythm is very important. Timing is very important and it's a very intuitive thing. And it requires a lot of repetition. It requires you doing the material many, many times to sort of gauge what feels false about it you

know like when you have an idea like a lot of times like brian's done a lot of stand-up too and he can back me up on this because he's it's brian actually a good person to talk about this with because he's uh he's relatively sort of new to comedy he He tried it a long time ago and it took a long time off. He really jumped back in and started doing bigger shows with us and doing a lot of shows here. He knows what it's like. Tell him.

About writing jokes? Yeah. Something happens that I find funny. I laugh and I go, that's pretty funny. I try to write it down in my notes. And then later just kind of think, I actually do it the wrong way. I just kind of think of like an idea in my head, write down the notes so I remember it. And then right before I go on stage, I just kind of go like, all right, I'm going to talk about that. All right.

Well, you know, that's not the wrong way. You say it's the wrong way. It's not the wrong way because it's a pressure filled situation that sometimes works. Right. You know, I was on a sitcom in the nineties. It was this call, it was called news radio. And it was, um, one of the most interesting things about it is the guy who created it. This guy, Paul Sims, really brilliant guy. And, um, one of the things he would do is they would not write anything till like three in the morning. Like it was like at 10 AM they knew that there was going to be a be a table read but they hadn't written shit they're like a few things written down and they're farting on each other and playing video games and then at like three in the morning they'd be like

fuck we gotta write this script and then they would write like 90 percent of the time maybe i'm gonna be really honest maybe 80 percent of the time it'd be absolutely fucking brilliant 20 percent of the time we would be absolutely fucking brilliant. 20% of the time they were too tired and they couldn't get through it. Well, that's just how it goes anyway, right? Yeah, but it's that pressure, the pressure of forcing yourself into a situation where you're just going to go and talk about something and try to figure out what's funny. Sometimes little things blossom out of that. So you say it's the wrong way to do it, but that's the way I've done it.

I think it's a good way to do it. Yeah, and another thing is, it's like taking these little things and then combining them, finding like, that's what I've been doing lately where I find something funny and I say it on stage and I find something else funny on stage

and then I try to find a way that I can put those two things together into one and make a bigger one. And it's kind of like, I don't know, it's like Minecraft. See, the difference between us and you guys i think a big part of it is that we need an audience to practice it's very important you can't practice without i was just gonna ask you that so yeah so 100 it's so important it would you know that's why i'm like so i always like

go way out of my way to thank people and wait after shows and take pictures of people like I Can't even practice without them. I need them for the whole thing Yeah, the only thing that I could do is write concepts that I'm pretty sure are funny But I need them to be there to craft it because there's a rhythm that you get in when you have people's attention It's very different than the rhythm that you have when you're alone You know you have to sort of like try to like replicate it, you know, as you're sitting alone.

But you guys can come up with a fucking awesome song, you know, and then just launch it, you know, at people. And it's already done. Like, whoa! Like, that's impossible for a comedian. A comedian can only have like rough drafts.

You go up on stage with some, some, you know, you have the ideas of how it's going to work. And you sort of, I mean, you have some punchlines that you've sort of pre-established in your head of being probable or you know profitable or you know hopeful you know like this is going to fucking this is money baby you know you know and then sometimes you drop

them and they don't work there's also a lot of times where it seems like you feel like you want this bit to work or you're so surprised it doesn't work that you don't want to give up on it oh yeah yeah and there's also sometimes we say it once one time and it's just the perfect moment where the stars have magically aligned and the rhythm of the room is correct and it's just they wanted to laugh at the right moment and they and it it it nailed it but it really wasn't that good you gotta let that go right gotta let that shit go right

do you guys feel that with songs do you have songs that you get to a certain point in time and you're like yes it's just we gotta get throw this one away yeah for sure we've let songs go a lot yeah we have actually not a lot you know but recording is kind of like the uh the end all that that's kind of like the brick wall that everything gets thrown up against and if it doesn't pass through it doesn't make it we've had a lot of songs that have we we played regularly live and then when it comes down to recording it which means like confronting what you're actually playing then it doesn't make it through you know what is the um the issue that you guys have with let's get wrecked the chorus no it's not the chorus i don't think it's the chorus i think it's not the chorus. I don't think it's the chorus. I think it's the guitar playing, really.

I'm kidding. No, it's, you know, I think personally because we liked it at one point. We were all fucking, you know, over the moon about it. But just like, you know, we were talking about jokes changing and things like that. We're going a little more, we're getting a little harder. And like just blues kind of, and it's a little more, I don't want to say kitschy because that's really insulting, but it's more like, it's almost like we need to make it a little more mature. Does that sound okay?

I feel like that record was a rush, you know what I mean? We had to make a record. So we made this record. And, you know, just like with jokes or with anything. Yeah, that was something that we did and committed to. And I don't regret doing it at all. But, you know, at this point, you know, given some time to marinate or whatever, we wouldn't have made the same choices, you know? I think that's a part of the process, though.

Don't you think? I completely agree. You kind of have to have stuff that's out part of the process, though, don't you think? I completely agree. You kind of have to have stuff that's out there that doesn't really represent who you are today. Otherwise, you're not moving forward. You know, there's a lot of acts at a certain point in their careers, it becomes the older stuff represents, like, the best example of who they are. And so they're not embarrassed about it at all. In fact, they look at it nostalgically.

Like, that's back when they were really putting it together. I think that's a funny thing. Sorry. No, you first. All right. But that's life, right? It is. But I feel like if I had a goal on how to live, I would make the good stuff come afterwards.

I think that's the progression of the universe. I mean, that's sort of how it all works. Well, it's works well that's how everything works you know i think it's it's good to be truthful with where you're at like i i listened to our first record the other day for the first time in a long time and i was like nerd like i was embarrassed in my way like in my weird like you know just analyzing myself and being like oh that was i could have done this this and this and i see it like this now and my voice is better now and but you know that again that's that was that was, I could have done this, this, and this, and I sing it like this now, and my voice is better now, and, but, you know, that's, again, that's, that was, that was my truth at the time, and I think in, in, and if I may go as, you know, so deep, in, in life in general, to be truthful where you're at is a really rewarding thing, and, you know, as an artist, when you look back, it's really easy to be hard on yourself, but, you know, to, to give myself a hard time is, is, is, you know, as an artist, when you look back, it's really easy to be hard on yourself. But, you know, to give myself a hard time is wasteful.

You know, it's just good to just keep going. Yeah, you don't want to give yourself a hard time about the past. But that's a big part of why what you're doing right now is so good. It's like it all sort of like this sort of distaste for shit that doesn't sort of like really resonate with you. Like, I just feel like I'm faking this or forcing this or that sort of distaste is what leads you to, you know, to greater heights. Like this gross feeling is like so necessary.

It's like it's really, you know, in order to have like such a depth to what you're saying and what you're doing, you have to have gone through like a what you're saying and what you're doing, you have to have gone through a full spectrum of feelings and thoughts on things. And I think that's what your music resonates with a lot of thinking. That L.A. River song, man, that's another song I really love. The lyrics are like, it speaks of someone who's thinking you know I'm saying It's not just you could say a certain amount of words in a row And it's just a song and a few things rhyme and and it neither clicks with my head or it doesn't

But there's certain twists and turns in the narrative there's certain twists and turns and how you're describing things that just you know as and how you're describing things that just, you know, as a person, like that's what you hope that you can do to somebody. As a person, you hope that you could put something out there, whatever the fuck it is. It's your apple cupcakes or your fucking, you know what I'm saying? You get the best back massages. Putting those out all the time. You know, whatever, you fix a car better than anybody.

You just hope that somehow or another you knock someone on their ass like that LA River song does like a lot of your shit does it's a that with that represents to me is just like Miyamoto Musashi saying once you understand the way you see it in all things once you see it once you see it in one thing once you understand it broadly you see it in all things Everything is everything I don't know. Maybe I'm just drunk. Yeah, so I

You're very emotional I'm a little emotional today, right? I'm on my period too much You're very emotional. I'm a little emotional today, right? I'm on my period. Too much or bad? Too much. Be honest with me. Too much. Well, you're totally in a different Joe than you are most of the time.

I don't know, man. I've just been thinking a lot lately about the idea of just interacting with human beings and what it really all is, you know, and how bizarre it is that there's a certain thing that happens when we connect with people in a very positive way, and it's sort of an accelerant, and it's sort of a feeling of, like,

everything is moving in the right direction, and we all sort of instinctively know when it's happening, and that's, like, when I feel, like, when you guys are here, when you guys are here and you're playing music. And I'm like, holy shit, like we put all this together. Like we didn't have anybody that helped us out here. We put all this together. I met you guys.

You know, I talked about you online. We talked back to each other. Balls of steel hooked it all up. We go back and forth. And then boom. Blood Farts 7. Thank you. That guy's not a real guy, is he?

You know what though? I think you're right. It's kind of like there's this fabric of interesting connection between people that the more you kind of sort of let it happen, it's really an interesting experience in life. People come in and they teach something. And everybody's a part of it, right?

Absolutely. There's a fucking hundred balls of steels out there. Yeah, balls of steel. We're looking for yeah balls of steel we're looking for you man we're coming for you isn't that shame but the best part about it with that in mind there's a hundred or way more than that incredible bands you know i mean our position playing incredible how many guys are like you out there be honest with me because there's a lot of hacks out there and there's none no there's only one ben jaffe and i'm sorry i'm gonna attest to that. This man is a one-of-a-kind. I mean, like, if you're not a stand-up comedy fan, the first time you ever come to a comedy club...

He's so fucking funny, too. I bet he is. He's a smart guy. Well, you could... It's like Musashi said. Concentrate on that, and I'm sure you'd be a great comedian, if that's what your calling was. If you... I really think that's really what it is. I mean, everyone... You know, you're certain the essences of the various ingredients of your personality might lead you in one direction or the other.

But I really believe that if you had chosen to be great at anything, you'd be great at anything. If you hit the right – Professional basketball? Maybe not. Maybe not me. But I'm not physically a more professional troll. I don't think, you know, everyone – what people call talent, I don't think it's a specific thing. I think it's a focus.

what people call talent. I don't think it's a specific thing. I think it's a focus. It is a little bit, but there's certain dudes that are talented in strange, bizarre ways. Physically talented, especially athletes. I've met athletes.

There is no way you can't tell that they're absolutely physically talented and gifted. They're not normal people. They can do weird shit. They can jump through the air way higher than anybody, and they can run quicker than anybody. They grab you stronger. There's just no getting around that.

So there's a certain amount of physical and athletic talent. There's a certain amount of vocal talent. I can't sing at all. I'll never be able to sing. My voice sounds like – No, but you have a voice. Do you know what I mean? Yes.

There's a difference. It's not a difference, actually. I think that – oh, God, this is really intense, and I'm embarrassed to be so candid, but I kind of want to say this. I think when people have these gifts in life, whether it's athleticism or just a brilliant mind or, you know, martial arts or acting or music, whatever, there's always an opportunity for an awareness of the other people around you and how you connect to them with these gifts. And I think some people have, it's a closed door and it's just their gift

and maybe their ego or whatever. And then there's the other people that just understand that it's all part of a bigger thing. I think there's a reason that you're able to reach over half a million people because you you have a lot to say and you know you're not you're not spreading bad things you're you're you're having you have ideas and you know what you said is really interesting because like in a one-on-one competition sense the the only problem with that is that life a lot of life is competition and in competition a lot of times It pays to be selfish right you know there's a very interesting way of

Looking at life like in in terms of looking at it like a competition or looking like it as you have to be competitive But at the same time we're all somehow or another a part of the same thing That's a weird sort of a differentiation that a lot of people have a really difficult time. You know, it takes like a lot of life experience to sort of put that together. Yeah. You know, and if you're a person who's like a competitive person, especially at a young age, it takes a lot of conditioning to get past the idea of like looking out 100% for you, only for you. And like everybody else could potentially be an enemy or an opponent now, so it's a I think for do you do you find there's a lot of competition like amongst

Fellow bands and a lot of like weird shit that goes on like, you know I think if you look at it like that, you're already at all You're leading with a handicap, you know, because that's not what it's about for for me I'll speak for myself I'm of course not right but I mean it's it's not just a little bit of a pull though did this little bit of a jealous worlds that exists you know I mean there's the world that we get to do what we want to create the music that we want but then there's the world that we have to survive as a business you know know what I mean? And that is a competition. But the bands that if you were potentially to call them competition

are usually people I really admire. That's the truth. So there's a shift. If you're going from a defensive standpoint, you're already going to lose. And I don't feel safe that way. That's a weird way to live your life. And so when you just embrace, like, inspiration,

like, I love that you keep saying that we inspire you. That's such an honor. And I feel like that about people that could, one, could potentially call our competition, but I don't view them that way because I respect them. My friend Paul Mooney, he's a stand-up comedian, old school stand-up comedian, used to write for Richard Pryor back in the day. He's a great guy. One of the things, he was telling a bunch of young comedians once, he was like, go be entertained.

Go be entertained. I didn't even think about that until Paul said that. Now, I consciously go look to be entertained. That's why I was so excited about seeing you guys. Now we're besties. We're all best you guys i feel like that's what you're saying the ability to be uh to compete without feeling threatened yeah you know what i mean because that's not well you'd be inspired can be a healthy thing

i think it's a very healthy thing yeah you know what i mean as is listening to your old shit that sucks it's a healthy thing too Because it fucking gets you going, God damn, fuck, shit, ew, damn it. You know, there's a good in that, man. There's a good in everything, right? Fuck, I'm glad I met you guys. Me, too. This is awesome.

All right, so you're going to play Angel of Death? This is for you, Joe. This is all for you. Oh, yay. Ready? I think I'm... You take this one. I'm floating on the wind until I find you

I bury myself deep inside your heart You won't feel a change We'll just become the same thing And never spend a single day apart. Yes, I guess there have been many others. Yes, I've treated them the same as you. them the same as you. All but quick I let them dry and I licked the salty tears

they cried. And many went from many to a few. But I'm the angel of death, baby, and is near. Keep your hand on your chest. Don't let me whisper in your ear. It's best to keep on walking like the door when I

come knocking My voice you never wanna hear ¦ Maybe you'll be shocked by this admittance But things are rarely ever what they seem, darling Oh, I don't mean you harm by my easy stuff Just let your tired eyes slip into dreams Cause I'm the angel of death, babe, the end is near

Keep your hand on your chest, don't let me whisper in your ear it's best to keep on walking like the door when I come knocking mine's the voice you never wanna hear

yeah mine's the voice you never Outstanding. Outstanding. Listen, you guys. You guys are the shit. This has been an honor. One of the funnest, coolest podcasts we've ever done. That was amazing. It was really fun to do.

I'm sorry if I talked too much. I was hammered. You guys were great. I got a little mushy there. I said some shit that I'm probably going to regret. I better not have spotted on my new chairs, Joe. I spotted a little. Girls got to do what a girl's got to do.

Listen, this has been so much fun uh yeah it's really been uh uh an unusual exercise in the the use of the internet and you know and how it all came together and it's so satisfying and fun really interesting and i'm so glad you guys came on and anything we could ever do for you if you ever have anything you want to promote anything please come on anytime you're more than welcome you guys have you guys are really cool cool people wish you nothing but the best and you can get them online at twitter at honey honey band at honey honey band no spaces you fucking freaks and uh is there a website honey honey band.com honey honey.com is a porn site. Oh, don't go to that. So make sure it says banned. Whoopsies.

Thank God I got more. Also featuring pictures of ourselves. You guys are on that one as well? You should buy that for real. You got to buy that site. How much are they offering for it? I have no idea, but I know we don't have any money. Yeah, that's probably worth millions.

You know, honeyhoney.com. It's eventually, you know, someone from, you know, someone's going to know someone and they're going to say, hey, just go to honeyhoney.com and you get all the details. And they're going to be mad at you. What about that? Or they're going to thank us. You know what? You need to get anonymous on your side.

No, don't do that. Honeyhoney.com is probably a legitimate business. What kind of ridiculous idea was that? Entrepreneurship. Go America. Okay, honeyhoneyband.com. Only honeyhoneyband.com.

And find them on Twitter, and that's it. And thanks to the Fleshlight for sponsoring our podcast. Thank you, Fleshlight. Thank you. We'll get you one if you want. I think I'm okay for now. Does it vibrate? You'd like the taste.

It doesn't vibrate, right? Ben, would you like one? We can get you one. I'm not really sure what I should okay for now. Does it vibrate? You'd like the taste. It doesn't vibrate, right? Ben, would you like one? We can get you one. I'm not really sure what I should say right now. No, that's a good call. I like how you played that. That's exactly how you should have played it. This is too much. This is too much.

If you want one, just seriously, holler at me. Go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for the flashlight, enter in the code name. JoeRogan, you will save 15%. You fucking freak. You don't have to sing to it, the flashlight. I have to do what I the code name Rogan. You will save 15%. You fucking freak. You don't have to sing to it. The fleshlight. I have to do what I got to do, dude. Are you sure about that?

I got to get through this thing. This sounds like more fun. Thank you to onnit.com. O-N-N-I-T. Go there. Check out all the different nootropics. And Google nootropics if you're interested in this subject. Enter in the code name Rogan if you want to buy some Alpha Brain, bitches.

What's up with that Alpha Brain? Alpha Brain is a cognitive enhancing supplement that I use on a daily basis to make me talk so smoothly. Enter in the code name Rogan. Get yourself 10% off player. Listen, this has been a really fun podcast. Thank you guys for coming out. I really appreciate

the fuck out of it. Thank you guys at home. I appreciate the fuck out of you too. Ice House Friday. One love you dirty bitches. Ice House, Pasadena, Friday. Get a flight. Get out of here. Hurry up. Quick. It's going to sell out of you, too. Ice House Friday. One love, you dirty bitches. Ice House, Pasadena, Friday. Get a flight. Get out of here. Hurry up. Quick.

It's going to sell out. Go. Run.