The Joe Rogan Experience - #1913 - Brian Redban

Episode Date: December 21, 2022

Brian Redban is a comedian, producer, co-host of the podcast and live-streaming YouTube show "Kill Tony," and founder of the Deathsquad podcast network.

the Joe Rogan experience oh hi we're up we're back baby we dude isn't this like uh we're closing in on our anniversary yeah again what is it again it's the 31st i think we did i think we did it on like new year's day or new year's eve rather christmas eve oh that's right thank you jamie christmas eve of 2009 and here we are 2022 and we're about to go into civil war total anarchy the purge all the above everyone's losing their. Everyone's losing their fucking mind. Did you see the breakout in the zoo? Did you see about that?

No. Oh, my God. A bunch of chimps. They broke free, and they went wild, and they gunned them down. They gunned down, I think they gunned down three of them or four of them. It says insane things are happening. How do you say that word?

Feruzik? Where's Feruzik? Where's Feruzik? Let's check. Germany? Sounds like it, right? Yeah. Sweden.

Sweden. Okay. Wow, they're pretty peaceful over there. They're gunning down chimps. So it says, insane things are happening at the Feruzic Zoo. Four chimpanzees gunned down after a breakout. And a fifth shot but only wounded. Three more on the loose.

Drones are used to survey the besieged zoo. After 24 plus hours, the bodies still litter the ground. Zoo says they were out of tranquilizers. What? Bro, fuck zoos. Is there a video of this? Fuck zoos. Oh, man.

It's just like... I told you about that time I got super duper high and I went to the zoo with my kids and I got really bummed out I wrote a story about it about animal prison zoos are horrible they're horrible the only one who gets out of the zoo I had that old bit about giraffes

they're the only ones that seem to have a good day they're like another day with no lions they don't give a fuck they're happy to be in the zoo they have they don't give a fuck they're happy to be in the zoo they have zero problems with the zoo no one's trying to kill them they just eat and they're the only animals that they let babies feed them when my daughters were little like they could take a piece of like little tiny you'd hold them they hold a piece of lettuce out and this giant giraffe tongue comes out wraps around the leaf and takes it from them and everybody laughs and you never have to worry about giraffes being cunts i bet

they're the majority of the animals like the zoo they don't give a shit like giraffes i bet they're oh we're getting fed i bet there's things like chimpanzees and certain animals that you shouldn't be in a zoo but half the animals don't give a shit i think the the big one with lions is they don't get to kill anything. That's like if someone just extracted sperm from you and you never got to have sex your whole life. You're just like, oh. It is weird. Yeah, but that's their instinct, right?

They have a built-in survival instinct to chase things and kill things. They're the cleanup crew. Oops. They're the cleanup crew for the jungle. That's what they do like when something's slipping something's not quick enough that's the lines are there to keep the balance otherwise the deer would just overbreed the the you know all the antelopes would be too many of them they need things to kill them so they have this insane desire to kill things and then when you just feed them meat every day they okay I'll eat this but I just want to fucking Jay something they don't even have any room to move

around dude I went to I was coming home from a gig once actually I don't think it was a gig I think it couldn't have been because it was during the day but it was early days of my comedy career I was like 21 years old and I was in Massachusetts and I was driving home and I saw this little zoo on the side of the road like there's a direction to this little zoo on the side of the road. Like there was a direction to this little ass zoo. So I said, all right, let me just, I got a little time to kill. We'll check out this little zoo.

It was horrible. There's this polar bear and he was in a room that was not much bigger than this fucking studio. And he was just walking around in circles, just walking in circles like a crazy person. I was like, oh no. It was just so sad he the the polar bears are used to dealing with gigantic icebergs that they could walk on frozen sheets of ice these little ice islands and they're they're killing seals and they're running around and they're just out there in the ocean and the the open air and now they're in this Massachusetts little box.

And it was the summer when I went there too. So it was hot as fuck. And this poor polar bear is just wandering around in a circle. It's like, oh, why are we doing that? We know what they look like. It's not like the old days before they had video, you know, where the only way you could see an animal was they had to capture it and bring it to the zoo. We fucking know what a polar bear.

You don't have to go see them in jail for no reason. They didn't do anything wrong. They're not bad polar bears. You know? It's fucked, man. You've been at the zoo out here? No. I don't want to.

Yeah. It's probably the same shit. Where's the best zoo? Yeah. There's no Columbus. Columbus, Ohio. That's right. Jack Hanna. All roads lead to Ohio. It's the number one zoo There's no... Columbus, Ohio. That's right. Jack Hanna.

All roads lead to Ohio. It is the number one zoo, though. That and San Diego. But is it the best in terms of the treatment of the animals? That's what I think. Why they're number one. I hope they do a little bit better job. Isn't that like the prison where Ghislaine Maxwell is where you get to do yoga?

That lady doesn't want to be out there. She wants to be out pimping. They locked her up. It's going to be virtual zoos in the future. That would be better. It would be really better. What would be better is, like, you use Oculus, and they set up cameras where they go around these animals,

maybe, like, with a drone, or they take a cat, and they put a camera on its head and it wanders around with the other cats and you get to be there in this wild way where you just like experience them existing. That would be dope. That would be really cool. If they did the metaverse and they did, you know, like you could go to places where there's a lot of trees and just put cameras all around the trees where the lions are and you could

get like the cameras where the lions are. They would be able to find it out and send that where the lions are, and you could get the cameras where the lions are. They would be able to find it out and send that one through the metaverse, and you could be on the plains of Tanzania right now just wandering around. Yeah, they probably have that already for sure. I hope they do. That should be what a zoo is, especially as this stuff gets better and better and this virtual reality technology improves.

There's no reason to keep these things captive like that. There's one argument, and that argument is conservation. They're taking endangered species, and then they're making sure that they have breeding populations. There's a few animals that are really endangered, and the zoo is one of the only ways they keep healthy populations of them. But other than that, the fuck out of here. Or injured animals. A lot of them are injured animals. They can't go back in the wild.

Yeah, that's what it should be, like a large area where they can roam around and some sort of an animal rehabilitation center. It shouldn't be those little ass fucking cages. Is there any video of the chimps? I've been looking. I didn't see it. Just like of those before this incident.

I haven't found anything. Bro. I mean, that's just horrific. The whole thing is horrific. It's really scary. Imagine being like out there at the supermarket and you've got your bags, you're moving to

your car, and you see three chimps running your way like, oh, no. They must fucking hate people. They must fucking hate people. How did they get out? Did they figure it out? Yeah, I wonder if they, like, picked a lock or something. Could you imagine if they figured out how to pick locks?

Right. Oh, my God, we're fucked. They got a stick in there, and the other one's moving the stick. Maybe they pay attention to the way they turn the key. I heard a click in there. Just say, that fucking click is the key. Get that thing to click. And at nighttime when no one's around,

they got sticks in there and they're going in there. There's some, I guess it would be anthropologists, that are speculating that some primates have moved into the Stone Age right now. Oh. Yeah, so if you think about the Stone Age with ancient primates that became people, that process is age right now oh yeah so if you think about the stone age with ancient primates became people that process is happening right now with like chimpanzees and orangutans like there's a

you ever see the photo of the orangutan that spearfishes no it's crazy he's hanging onto a tree with one hand and he's got a stick with the other hand he's fucking stabbing at fish. Jeez. Yeah. They're so close to us. They're just like a few million years away as opposed to like a slug. Mm-hmm. Like so distant. They're not figuring out shit. But monkeys and chimps and, you know, all those primates, man, they're fucking thinking creatures. They're calculating, you know?

And when they get those neural links in them, like you've seen the ones with the monkeys that can, like, use their mind? Dude. But, I mean, what would happen? Like, legitimately, what would happen? So if this is the argument that chimpanzees are moving into the Stone Age, what if chimps really do continue to evolve alongside people, and then all of a sudden they start talking like what?

How do we do we give them a country? Do we let them in the UN? You know like what are we talking like if a million years from now if human beings are still around and Chimpanzees have continued to evolve to the point where they start making clothes They start killing antelopes and scraping the fat off of the skins and drying them out, wearing them as clothes and shit. They start having rights. You're allowed to marry them. Oh, boy.

Right. Like the same people that think you should be a cat. Like I identify as a cat. I think a chimp should be – you can marry a chimp. He wants to marry you. You want to marry him? Let's go. I mean that's basically what that lady did in Connecticut.

You want to marry him? Let's go. I mean, that's basically what that lady did in Connecticut. You know, that lady that had a chimpanzee and she was feeding it Xanax and drinking wine and sleeping in the same bed with it. And then her friend came over and the chimp tore her friend apart. Probably because her friend was cock-blocking. Right? Don't you think?

Like, that was the speculation was that that lady was banging that chimp. Because chimps probably have a big old dong. I don't know. I don't feel like I've ever seen a chimp dick. If you're a lady and you're not getting any play from humans and you got this chimp that lives with you. And this is a big ass chimp too. This is like a really well fed chimp. So he's like, I want to say he was close to 200 pounds. He was fucking huge. You ever see pictures of him with a diaper it's really confusing because you don't know how to feel about that like on one hand this lady loves this chip but you know when

it goes wrong they don't know what the rules are they have no idea like laws what are you talking about i'm gonna bite your fingers off. Yeah. That's not the same one. That's a different one. But that's a chimp hanging out with a kid, which is like also quite sketch. But that's a little baby chimp. The one that that lady had, I think it tore her eyes out too. Oh, my gosh.

I think those are glass eyes. If it's not her, definitely that's the other guy that got attacked who brought a birthday cake for a chimp that he used to have. You know that story? He used to have a chimp that they took care of and he got to a point where he was getting dangerous and they couldn't keep him anymore

so they brought him to a place where they have chimpanzees and they brought him a birthday cake. And the other chimps were furious that they didn't get a cake because chimps get really jealous. And they got out and fucked that guy up, just tore him apart, tore his feet off. That's right.

Wasn't that in California, right? I don't know where that was. But, yeah, you can't do that to them. You can't just keep them contained like that. It's fucked. It's not necessary. I don't think there's a good them contained like that. It's fucked. It's not necessary. I don't think there's a good argument for doing that. The whole argument is that people get to look at them.

Really? That's it? You know? But there's parts of the world where their habitat is being encroached upon. They're in danger. So then there's that argument, right? Like maybe there should be a place where people protect them just in case they get to the point where, you know, they're on the verge of extinction because that would fucking suck. You know how devastating that would be to humans, to our psyche of where we fit in the world if chimps went extinct?

I was like, how many chimps are there? Let's take a guess. How many chimps are there? Let's take a guess. How many chimps are there in the world? 100,000? That's probably a good number. With all the zoos, it might be a little higher. I'm going to say 250. 250,000 chimps worldwide.

There's probably not even an answer to this question. I guess you guys are right. Are we right? It says between 170,000 and 300,000 chimps currently live in the world. worldwide there's probably not even an answer to this question right it says between a hundred and seventy thousand three hundred thousand chimps currently live I'm so I can nailed it says wild though in the wild and then zoos probably jacks it up a little bit how many how many chimps do you think are in zoos worldwide let's take that guess twenty thousand just a lot of countries yeah hundreds of countries but each zoo guess? 50,000? 20,000. That's a lot of countries.

Hundreds of countries. But each zoo probably has what? This is a dark question. Okay. Before we find the darkness, I do want to know. Let's... I do want to know. Hold on a second. Let's just guess.

Every state. I'm going to say 50,000. James is making noises over there. I'm way off. It's a very low number, and there's a reason why. Oh. Okay, I may stick with my 20,000. Okay, what's the number?

About 300. What? What? In all the zoos in the world? The remaining 1,700 were bred for inhumane medical research. Oh. They don't all go to zoos. Like the movie 28 Days Later, right?

When they give them that rage shit and they break out. Zombie apocalypse. Tell me they wouldn't do that. Like before COVID, nobody thought like, well, this is a fun you know fun premise for a movie this could never happen yeah i don't know how many uh as of 2015 this article says more than 730 remain in government or private research facilities some 540 i believe have were released at this at this time this also says it's a lot really low though what's the option if you're

not gonna use chimps would you use horrible people yes matters murderers and prisoners yeah why aren't they school shooters mm-hmm do you think people would would sign off on that you know what's interesting they probably wouldn't they'd probably say, you can kill them, but you can't practice medicine on them. I wonder. Can't put lipstick in their eyeballs and see what the root, you know,

the shit they do with rabbits and stuff. Yeah, but if you say to somebody and go, hey, instead of using animals for testing, this person is on death row, would you rather have that than killing an animal? What, if you give them the option? Yeah.

Man, that's a fucked up option. I wonder. I bet people would say the prisoner on death row. Well, the problem is the justice system sucks. And there's a lot of people that are on death row that are 100% innocent. That's a fact. And so a lot of people think the death penalty

in itself is inhumane. In fact, the woman who's the governor of Oregon, she just commuted, I believe it was 17 people that were on death row. And if one of those is innocent, I support it. You know,

it's the most fucked up thing ever. If like someone killed your loved one and, and they're on death row, but what if they didn't? And what if they're accused of it? And then they wind up getting killed. I mean, it's like, the system is so bad. And through the podcast that I've done with Josh Dubin, who, he used to work with the Innocence Project. Now he does a lot of different programs along the same lines, though, where it's trying to get people

out of jail that are clearly innocent. And prosecutors, man, there's a lot of good ones out there. There's a lot of good ones out there. There's a lot of good people that are prosecutors, no doubt. But there's also prosecutors that hide evidence. They withhold evidence that would exonerate people. They prosecute people they know are innocent. They railroad people. They keep people from being able to bring certain things up in trials. And you find out later that they knew all along. They just, they had this guy, he was in the system, he was being tried, and they never want to say, hey, we fucked up. So instead of saying, hey, we fucked up, they hide all the evidence that

they fucked up. It's not all, again, it's not all prosecutors, but it's enough that the death penalty itself is very questionable. I found, I'm digging through this. In 1979, I found a, what is this, from an article in Corrections Magazine, it says, that 85%, a few years ago, 85% of all drug testing was done in prisons. Now it's down to 15%. All drug testing? As of right now, it's illegal in California

and plenty of other places, too. The drug test people in prison? Correct. It's also illegal to ask them if they have a penis. Right? Which is a little strange. A little strange. I mean, I'm all for people being able to express themselves and live however they want.

However, there was a story that I was reading. I think I sent you this too, Jamie, about this article that was talking about this woman that brutally murdered and raped this woman. And about how unusual it is for a woman to brutally rape and murder another woman. Well, it turns out it's not a woman. It's a trans woman. But they have to call it a woman. So they're saying it's a woman. So there's people that are phrasing it in this woke speak.

If you want to define woke. Because woke is hard to find. People kind of know what it is. Like, oh, I fucking hate all this woke shit. But what does that mean? What are you, because woke is hard to find. People kind of know what it is. Like, oh, I fucking hate all this woke shit. But what does that mean? Like, what are you saying? And when you ask people to define it, it does get a little squirrely. It's like, oh, I didn't think about defining this.

It's just sort of a thing that I know. And one of the things has to do with gender. Because that was one of the biggest cultural changes over the last 10 years. But that one is bananas that they would phrase it that way that they would say a woman no it was his ex that was his ex-girlfriend that he killed that he murdered and raped right he he was a man at the time he was dating her like to say oh it's so unusual for a woman to do that like what's like, what kind of game are we playing? Were you talking about crime?

And like that person that went to jail and said he was a woman and started banging all the inmates and got two of them pregnant, that person brutally murdered his mother with a knife. It's a horrible story. The cops that came to the scene said it was one of the most horrific things

they had ever seen. Stabbed her from her face down to her fuck, the bottom of her legs. Just, you know, an incalculable number of stab wounds probably. But you could say you're a woman and all of a sudden you're in a woman's prison. And then there's like all these people that like have created a website,

like get her out. She's, she's not supposed to be there. Let her express the gender of her, you know, preference. And like, this is bananas.

Like you guys are out of your fucking mind. There has to be a birth sex on your future ID. So you have your sex female and then your birth sex, like a male or something like that. Well, that would make sense, but none of this makes sense. They would say, who is the doctor to tell you what your sex is? Well, it used to be just gender, but now they're equating sex and gender, right? Like, so when that Rachel Levine person became the first female admiral, they were saying, they were saying female. They weren't just saying woman. They were saying female, as in like X distinction in the chromosomes.

Like, listen, it's good to be kind to people. It's good to be nice. It's good to like, I want you to be whoever you want to be. Express yourself however. I love you. But what are we doing? We're in this fucking squirrely lunatic category. Somebody has a great fucking bit

that Bill Burr sent me. Let's blow this cat up. I don't know this dude but this bit is very funny. I'll find it right here. It's going around, Jamie. Maybe you've seen it. It's a comedian

who says he's all for... I don't want to fuck it up. Here, I'll send it to you, Jamie. Hold on a second. Give me one second. Here we go. Share. Jamie.

Bam. It's just – I get where it comes from. I get that people want to let people feel free to be whoever they want. But at the same time, it's like, at what cost to all the other people? It's getting absurd. It's insane. They're going to have to have a separate jail just for

the in-betweens or something. Pray this guy's things. Here it goes. Derek Languinus. Is that it? Let me see it again, please. Derek Languinus. Is that it? Let me see it again, please. Derek Lenguinus. It's spelled D-E-R-I-C-K-L-E-N-G-W-E-N-U-S on Instagram. Trans women competing in women's sporting events.

As long as I'm allowed to bet. Yes, I would like to put all my money on the lady with the size 11 sneaker, please. It's a great joke. I've got a feeling about her. That's great. And then this is how squirrelly the world's gotten. There's people that will say that that's transphobic, that that bit is transphobic. Because people want no criticism, and that's part of the problem.

It's like what we were talking earlier about what's going on on Twitter right now. There's a lot of people that don't want any criticism. People have opinions. They just do. You can't stop them. You can't change their opinions. You know, you can just be you. You got to be you.

But some people are just not good at it. They're not good at it. And as a group, if you've achieved protected status, like a lot of people, they feel like they categorize trans people in a protected class because they've been maligned and because they've been discriminated against. Now they're in a superposition, like some quantum physics shit. You can't even criticize them. Even if they're murderers, even if they've brutally raped and murdered their ex-girlfriend, you still have to call them a woman. Even if they were a man at the time, still it's a woman. It's very rare for a woman to do this. Is it?

Is it also rare for a woman to have a dick? Because what are we doing? What the fuck are we doing? But it's not anymore. You know? So, there we are. Hmm. you know so there we are I can't even imagine what the world's gonna be like in 40 years how about five five years who would have thought this that everything like the Leah Thomas thing with swimming who would have thought that that's like the number one female swimmer actually has a penis

and supposedly has sex with women okay what are we doing like imagine if you're a penis and supposedly has sex with women. Okay. What are we doing? Like imagine if you're a girl and you work so hard to get a scholarship and, you know, you're, you're born, you didn't go through puberty with male levels of testosterone. Here's something that I found out the other day when we talked about this already, sorry, where James Cameron was saying that the testosterone is a toxin and needs to be released from men's bodies.

Women have more testosterone than they have estrogen. Did you know that? Yeah, I just found out that recently. I found out from Rob Wolf. I didn't know that. That's their primary hormone. And I have more estrogen than women. That's what I heard.

So you are the most healthy Unhealthy person I've ever met When you got your blood work done I was like huh He's gonna be okay You've been telling me I'm high on estrogen forever Like you know we made jokes about me eating Too much edamame When I got my first blood work

When I first went to the tea place They were like wow you got very low testosterone. You're at 240, I think it was, 230. But your estrogen levels are some of the highest I've ever seen. He's like, we got to keep an eye on that because that might be dangerous. And I'm like, what? Told you. I smell it.

I can smell it, I think. So I just got my six-week blood checked again. My estrogen levels have actually gone up since last time. I have so much T in me now. I'm like super high on T, but I can't feel any of it because the estrogen is going against the T. So I have to take this. How much are you committed to being healthy? Sort of minimally committed,

like a guy who plays golf once a month? Well, as soon as I start getting energy, I'm for it. But that's the whole problem. Like right now, I mean, that's why I went to get my testosterone checked. Because now, especially the last four years, I don't know if it's age or what, but I just, I wake up tired. I have zero energy. Bro, we're old. Yeah, I know. We talked talked about how we started this podcast In 2009, that's a long-ass time ago, dude. We're getting 12 years from now. We're gonna be like geriatrics Yeah, you know if you're a woman and you have a baby after 35 they consider you geriatric Really? Yeah, I that's just the label they put on it

Yeah, Bridget Phetasy told me about that. Because she got pregnant at like, I think she was 41, I think, when she had her daughter. And they said she was a geriatric mom. And I was like, oh my God. Jeez. That's like one of them terms maybe you shouldn't. That hurts people's feelings. Yeah.

It's like how they used to call kids with Down syndrome. They used to refer to them as like mongoloid idiot on their uh birth certificate that's hilarious it's not really for them or their parents like she's the worst idiot you know how about someone with a chromosomal disorder yeah you know yeah i saw a t-shirt that was from 1982 that was like run for the retarded and it was like an actual charity. It was golf. It was called swinging. Oh, it was golf. That's what it was.

What? Like that's how they used to just refer to things. I know another T-shirt. Don't you know a bunch of T-shirts? Which one? Oh, yeah. This is like, look, man. There's a lot of shit from not that long ago.

Yeah. It's so ridiculous. You get in real trouble for it. Yeah. And just watching old movies. They talk like, holy shit, they just said that. Yeah. Well, if you go watch old comedies from the 90s,

I tried to watch Superbad the other day. Unfortunately, it wasn't the other day. It was a while ago. But I was trying to watch it with my kids. Like I tried to watch Superbad the other day. Unfortunately, it wasn't the other day. It was a while ago. But I was trying to watch it with my kids. And I realized like five minutes in, like there's no fucking way a 12-year-old should be watching this. I'm like, stop.

I paused. I'm like, okay, we can't watch this. Yeah, that's a dirty movie. I didn't realize. I forgot how fucking dirty it was. I just remember it being really funny. Yeah. But it was, what was that?

Like 2007 or something like that? When was Superbad? Sounds right. 2000, yeah. Something was that like 2007 or something like that when was Superbad sounds right 2000 yeah something like that 2007 that might have been the last of the great

over the top fucked up hilarious movies that you could never make today and that and Tropic Thunder Tropic Thunder

I just watched that rewatched that interview that you had with him yeah that that's still amazing that you could still rent it you know like i'm surprised that in like soul man like i'm surprised i saw that the other day you could still rent that like what the heck yeah when does that become a problem to people

because you know people will probably i mean they're already you know doing things like getting rid of certain books that have like fucked up language in it like they got rid of i think it was huckleberry finn because it had the n-word in it and they removed that from certain libraries pixar's going in and editing parts out of their movies already because of of things and really yeah there's a toy store yeah there's toy story and the guy that plays frazier uh he's like flirting creepily with the two Barbie girls. And it's just like really scummy. And they cut that out.

How about Pepe Le Pew? Oh, Pepe Le Pew. Pepe Le Pew was a rapist skunk. Right. He was a groper. He was a total sexual harasser. Like he didn't take no for an answer ever. Speedy Gonzalez?

No, what did he do? It's just like oh because over the top mexican you know there's a guy who uh put a um a sombrero on and he went around all these uh people in their 30s and he said is this offensive and they're like yes it's very offensive and and are you mexican he's like no then it's offensive like all these people said it's offensive and then he went to a mexican neighborhood he said, is this offensive? They go, no, it looks good. They liked it.

How is that offensive? That's crazy. It's crazy. It's like, is it offensive if an Asian guy wears a cowboy hat? Like, is that offensive? Like, what's offensive? Like, why is it offensive? A sombrero is kind of a dope hat.

Yes, it's Mexican. But you're not like stealing it from the Mexicans. You're not like claiming that you're Mexican. You're just wearing a dope hat yes it's mexican but you're not like stealing it from the mexicans you're not like claiming that you're mexican you're just wearing a dope hat but some cool shit you're allowed to wear right like you could wear a jujitsu kimono right you're not pretending you're from japan you're wearing uh you know a dobok you're not pretending you're from uh korea why is that okay yeah i don't see that at all i never fucking it's a hat it's a dope hat yeah big old crazy ass they sell those hats at gas stations you know and they wore them to protect themselves from the fucking sun yeah i mean it's

fucking great invention really like hey i'm tired of getting cooked i'm gonna fucking have a shade just carry on your head like an umbrella on your fucking head. Sombreros are the shit. Plus, whenever a fighter fights, a Mexican fighter, like when we went to see Canelo Alvarez fight Triple G, it was awesome because they had a mariachi band, a full mariachi band. And they came out and they played.

Whenever a Mexican fighter fights, they kind of have to have mariachi music, right? They mariachi music, right? They kind of do, right? I mean, you're not going to see a Mexican fighter coming out to slay her, right? Yeah. They kind of like a lot of Mexican fighters, particularly in boxing. They come out to that mariachi music, man, and everybody goes nuts.

They go nuts. They were singing along to it. It was fucking dope. Seeing a Canelo fight where it's all Canelo's fans, and you get to see in the person, in the flesh, and hearing them all singing to this song that you don't even know, it's pretty wild. Speaking of Mexican, did you hear what happened to El Capadre

in Los Angeles, the restaurant? Did they get busted for selling Coke? No, something crazier. I just guessed that, by the way. I'm joking. I mean, that's where Lindsay Lohan used to get it, allegedly. Allegedly? But no, supposedly there was a guy there with his boyfriend, and he's an actor.

And the managers came up to him and yelled at him saying you're not allowed to kiss that I guess they were kissing they had a kiss on the lips hot and said you didn't you're not allowed to do this here in actor claimed he was scolded for kissing his date really in fucking LA yeah what last night El Capojo Echo Park, I was reprimanded by a manager for kissing another man at 6.30 p.m. in the middle of our second drink. That's usually when the kissing starts.

What's up? Told this is a family restaurant and we don't allow that behavior here. We will never be back. I encourage you all to find another place too. You should read what the manager said. There's more to it. Like below this. No, no.

I mean on that. Did the manager respond or is it his version of what the manager said? It's more of what happened. I guess they interviewed. Other people? No, they interviewed the guy more. Like that's just a tweet. Right.

Where the heck did it go? I mean, it's hard to say, right? He said he threw his hands in front of us and said, I don't care if you're the president of the United States. We don't allow your behavior here. Since the post went viral, El Compadre said in a statement below, the now fired manager went against the restaurant's core values. We have been in business for almost 50 years. We accept, appreciate, and value every customer that walks through our doors, and this behavior will never be tolerated in our establishment, the restaurant said

in part on social media. We do believe El Compadre to be a family restaurant, and coming into our restaurant is like coming into our home. In our home, we believe in love and equality, and the fact that one of our employees made someone feel unsafe is not acceptable to us. That's a good answer. It's kind of fucked up if that's all

they did is kiss each other. But what if they were just getting after it, just jacking each other off and tonguing each other down? I mean, it is El Capadre, too. If you know what El Capadre is, it's one of the biggest scum holes in the world. It's great, by the way. We should say it's great. And the food's awesome.

I fucking love that place. Every time I go to that place, I have a big smile because half the time I was there, I was with Joey Diaz. That was his spot. He would go there and start speaking Spanish to everybody. Well, he was there for another reason. He was there for other reasons, too. But he was also there for the food.

The food was great. That was the spot you would meet a lot of people after shows. We'd go after shows. We'd meet other comics, the folks who were working the laugh factory and the improv and shit. It was fun, man. That was one of the things that I miss about L.A. It was like those kind of little hangouts. Yeah.

Remember Swingers? Oh, yeah. That was a great little spot. Good late night food. And there was that Mexican place on Beverly that was like that, too, that was open 24 hours. Coyote? No, no, no. That was the one with the great margaritas.

Yeah. That's a great spot, too. And it closed down that one place we used to always go to in the hotel. Oh, yeah. In the, what was that hotel? Standard? Standard, yeah. That place was great.

You'd get a real meal at like 1 o'clock in the morning, like steak and salad, and it was great food. That place was so weird. I remember the first time I went there, I don't remember what year it was, but it was early on. I walked in there and I was in the lobby and there was a girl who was in a fish tank behind the managers and the front desk people just reading a book in her underwear.

I knew a girl that had that job. It's the weirdest thing. They're not supposed to interact with the people. It's supposed to be like a voyeur type art piece so this girl is in her underwear and she's really cute and You know you're looking at her legs and her butt and she's just reading a book with like her feet up in the air on Her stomach just sitting there reading this book. You're like whoa, LA Really is like this

When you come from somewhere else you just get to LA and you see shit like that, you're like, oh my God, this is real. There's been a few times where I've been in LA where I was like, oh,

this is like the real Hollywood. Yeah. You know? I went to a party and they had baby lions there or baby tigers. I was like, how the fuck is this possible?

We're like, where did these tigers come from? And you would just go in this room and you were allowed to pet the tigers and stuff like like that yeah there's up in those hollywood hills and beverly hills and like when all the those really crazy people get together there's real like the stuff that you hear it's like real that's real you know when you see those brian singer parties where he has like a 100 boys in a fucking pool with red lights and everybody's partying, you're like, Jesus.

This is what people think of when they think of Hollywood debauchery. Yeah. I miss it, but I don't miss it. I miss stuff. I missed it, but I went through it. I got it. I get it. Took it all in.

Yeah. You don't want to be in the sun all day long. Right. You could get a little sun in the sun all day long. Right. You could get a little sun, then go inside and cool off. It's like you're living your whole life in L.A. I think it's bad for the psyche. There's no weather. Everyone's trying to get famous. And you're also dealing with these strange people. I went to this bizarre party once in the Hollywood Hills with Chappelle. We're hanging out at the store and we both did sets and then

Dave's like, you want to go to this party with me? I go, what is it? And he's like, it's Naomi Campbell's birthday. And I said, oh man, I fucking hate those things. Oh Joe, come on. Come with me. Let's have a good time. We were high as fuck too. And so we go up to this party.

And we get on an elevator with Demi Moore. And we're going up the side of this hill. They have an outdoor elevator. Like you're standing on this elevator. And it takes you up. And there's Demi Moore is there. And Lenny Kravitz is there. And Naomi Campbell.

And Naomi Campbell is posing and there's like hundreds of photographers, not hundreds I'm lying, ten a lot, lights, like real ones and she's like posing and she looks amazing and as you're going up the hill there's a photograph of her and it's

like 30 feet tall and it's naked it's a naked photograph of Naomi Campbell that they put on the side of this hill, on the side of this building that's on this hill. It's wild. It's like a total eyes wide shut party. And we're there, and we're hanging out. And I said to Dave, I'm like, this is crazy.

This is so bizarre. He goes, man, I never want to be that famous. I go, hey, motherfucker, you're the most famous person here. Yeah, you're more famous. And he goes really i go yeah really i don't think dave i don't think dave thinks about that much which is why he could be dave you know he just exists in this like cool zone of just being funny and writing better stand up and getting up there and killing so like him there was the whole thing was so odd but met a bunch of cool people though Lenny Kravitz is very cool so like a lot

of people when they're around other famous people they're super normal they're like oh you're just a person who just happened to get famous you know and now you're fucked because you can't really just be kids really go places everybody weirds out when they see you. So they all get together and weird out together. You know, it's fucking, it's a little bit of a prison of its own. Did you ever, did you ever meet Brad Pitt? I'd like to though. Yeah. I think he's probably pretty cool. Yeah.

By all accounts, you know, you know, he's got that thing where he can't recognize faces. Yeah. Isn't that bizarre? Imagine what that is. Like, what is that? Imagine not even knowing you had it, just thinking you're fucked. Like, why is everybody so friendly? I don't even know who the fuck anybody is.

You have to recognize people by the way they move and the noises they make. And then when everybody else starts talking about faces, you're like, what? Faces? You recognize faces? Like, imagine when you first find out you're colorblind. Like, little kids don't know they're colorblind. Probably takes a while. How would you even know?

I guess, like, someone says, pick the red one. And you're like, hmm? Yeah, but wouldn't the red one still be like what you think red is? You know what I mean? Right. Well, that could be the case anyway, right? Right. I mean, I think you're wearing a blue spacesuit.

This is red, dude. But what is blue? Right. Like my, you know, my daughter brought that up the other day, which is hilarious when like a 14-year-old thinks about things like that for the first time. I'm deep. Yeah, she sounds like a stoner. She's like, okay, I have red nails, but how do I know that you see red the way I see red?

I really don't it's just kind of guessing right which makes sense right because like food tastes so different to other people like some people love spicy food some people hate it some people love like really rich flavors like indian cuisine some people hate it like what do they feel what are they tasting is it is it the same like tasting? Is it like a nose? Like, some people's noses work better. Some people have better eyesight. Maybe taste buds are different, too.

Some people just get like this, I just want mashed potatoes and gravy. That's all they want. That's the only thing that tastes good to them. There's people like that. Baby food. Brother, my wife's mom, you put pepper on her food. She's like, oh, it's so spicy. Pepper?

Yeah, everything's spicy to that lady. She's the best. A lady couldn't eat vegetables. It wasn't really even vegetables. It was any other food besides mashed potatoes and cheese. She started vomiting, dry heaving. She had to eat in the other room from her husband. Couldn't even look at his food on his plate.

Wow. They watched her like, please at his food on his plate. Wow. They watched her like, please try. Come on, honey, try. This is like steak. You got to wonder if maybe someone fucked with her when she was a kid. Tried to get her to eat a bunch of stuff she didn't want to eat. Eddie Bravo had this bizarre thing about onions. He fucking hated onions.

You have onions anywhere near him, you get fucking, I hate onions and i got to it like one day like what is this onion thing it's like my father used to make me eat like everything like on my plate and it was like onions i hated onions he made me eat them and now i fucking can't stand them you could ruin a kid that way you know is there any food that you can't stand like you want wouldn't even try? No, I have a pretty wide palate. I like food. I mean, there's food that doesn't agree with me, but I love it. Like pasta. That's the big one.

Pasta does not agree. I get a fat gut, and I get distended. I just look bloated. I feel terrible. But I love it when it's going down the hatch. You always had that? No. I don't know, because I think I've always been a glutton,

which is a problem. It's not like I'm eating a little bit of pasta. I have a problem with eating too. I just, like, I've been trying to stop now, where I'm like, I'm not hungry anymore. Stop eating. But before, I would just keep going. I wanted to be like, ugh.

That's what I wanted to feel. I wanted to feel, ugh, just fucking stuffed, which is a dumb thing. You really shouldn't ever be that. Unless this is the only time you get to eat because you're a hunter-gatherer and finally we found food I haven't eaten in days. You're really not supposed to be stuffed. Yeah, and I think, at least i grew up always thinking you wanted to get stuff that's when you got to the end of eating you know what i mean clean your plate yeah i think it's parents again oh well they would get well you know if you think parents grew up with parents

that were in the depression which my parents grew up with my grandparents who they grew up during the depression like my grandmother left like little coffee cans filled with money tucked away, squirreled away in little holes in the house. And they found all this stuff like after she died. They were like cleaning things up and they found like money that she had squirreled away. Because they were always thinking that the banks were going to fail and that they were in a real fear of starving to death. We are so fucking spoiled.

So they went from starving and, you know, not knowing where your next meal was coming from to finally things turn around, everything gets, and then they raise kids. And then they're raising kids that are growing up, you know, during the 60s. And, you know, things are much, much better. And then these kids have kids

and they just do the same thing their parents taught them clean your fucking plate you got to eat it all all of it you're not going to waste food in my house like oh why did you give me so much exactly it's your fault but everybody was happy that they could give people their fill you know it's like there was this famine, and then it was replaced with this just glutton mentality for some people. And if you grow up like that, it's fucking hard to kick that thing in your head. If you have an Italian family, oh, my God. My grandmother would stuff you. She would stuff you.

She was always making this pot, big plates of lasagna. She would make pasta on the kitchen table. It was always making this pot, big plates of lasagna. She would make pasta on the kitchen table. It was wild to watch. She'd throw the flour on and roll the fucking dough and cut the pasta and boil it. It was sensational. It was the best pasta you have ever had. She'd make her sauce from tomatoes my grandfather grew in the garden. She didn't fuck with anything from the store. She got the least amount of shit she could get from the store, like flour. And she's like, probably didn't even want the flour. And she would do everything. Everything was

homemade. The whole thing was homemade. It was amazing. They would buy bread from this place that had been selling bread for like, who knows how many fucking years, 100 years or something. They would walk in their neighborhood down to this Italian bakery every day and get a loaf of bread.

That was like a thing people did. They'd meet there. They'd talk shit. You know, they all talk Italian. They'd go back, bring their bread, and just dip it in the pasta sauce. And those fucking people, man, when they finally got food, they made, like, filling food. You know, like, the Italians in particular, like, that came to america their food is different than the italians in italy like all the things that we think of as italian food like spaghetti and lasagna and meatballs and stuff like that spaghetti with red sauce with meatballs they

don't have that over there grated cheese all over it and shit they don't have that over there it's like everything over there is like the pasta is much more consumable for whatever reason it doesn't fuck with your digestive system because of the different wheat they use. But also the portions are smaller and it's a long process. You sit down for a long meal. People are drinking wine and enjoying themselves because they didn't go to America. They weren't the wild motherfuckers that took that trip and took a chance and went across the road, or went across the ocean, rather, before they invented film. Like, you couldn't even see a video of what America looked like back then.

When did they start coming over here? Like, when did Italians start making their way over here? It was probably, like, the end of the 19th century, if I had to guess. My grandparents came over here in the beginning of the 20th century. It's like, man, we're so lucky we're living now. This is so much better time to live. But kind of not. Kind of want to go back to the 1900s.

I don't want to go back to that time. I don't want to. I like it now. I think I have a healthy perspective on what it's like to live in 2022. There's problems that we have that are very unique. But I think every single generation, the generation that had the car, like all of a sudden you could drive everywhere. Like the generation where they developed the printing press. Like, oh my God, we're reading things?

Do you know what most books were when they first invented books? You think of like, oh, they wrote knowledge down, and this is how they wrote history and documented things for future generations. Nope. It's like how to spot a witch. Those kind of books, they probably led to so many people killing people because they thought they were witches. It's stupid shit because you think

most of the people back then were not educated at all like a lot of people probably couldn't read so when books finally came around people started reading you're dealing with people that are like super unsophisticated probably a lot of them very superstitious

they really believed in that kind of stuff I wonder if there's people against books when it came out they're teaching the devil always they were there there was definitely people that were upset about the printing press they thought the printing press was gonna fuck everything up and that books should be written and like like a fucking feather quill you know an elegant handwriting. You could just go back and look at the way they used to write, where all their letters

were perfect. They were all the same height, and it was beautiful to look at. Like, if you look at the way I write my notes, I fucking have deteriorated. Like, we have completely regressed. Yeah. They don't even teach cursive anymore in most schools. My mom still writes me cursive letters and I can't even, I like, I've almost not been able to read half of the letter now. Cause I'm like, I don't remember how to read this.

Really? Cause when's the last time you read cursive? One thing about cursive is that AI doesn't read cursive. So if you want to talk shit on Instagram, make a post and put it in cursive and then take a photo of that thing and then post that. Wow. And that way it won't flag all your shit talking, all the things that like there's certain words that get flagged, you know? Yeah. I fuck around with AI a lot.

I use it all the time and you're not, you know, it flags certain things. So you have to be really creative instead of like a woman's breast. You got to be like, uh, you know, Victoria's Secret. You have to like use all these words that like try to get her to have good boobs and stuff. But then how do they do all those dirty ones? Like I've seen Joey Diaz with giant dicks. Yeah. Well, there's a few that allow you to do dirty ones, but they're not as good, usually as good as the legit ones.

The one I use, I pay like 30 bucks a month for. Really? Yeah. That's more than Netflix, isn't it? Yeah. But it's so much more fun. It's addicting. I'll just sit there and spend like hours trying to make AI to make the perfect poster or something like that. It's perfect for posters. The illustrators are getting very upset. People are very upset. There's a guy who just made a children's book and all the illustrations have been generated with AI, and people are super upset with him. I was just looking. There's a new game that Justin Roiland made.

It's awesome. I'm trying to read if he used AI art or what exactly this says. And people are mad at him? I don't know. AI art? Yeah, I've seen this game, but I didn't know it had anything to do with AI art. It's something high, right? It says, used controversial AI art for new shooters.

Isn't it interesting that it's all computer-generated images anyway, right? It's not like people are, Rick and Morty creator. This game is badass, man. Look how dope it looks. Oh! This game is badass, man. Look how dope it looks. Rick and Morty creator use controversial AI art, voice acting in new shooter.

Oh, and voice acting. AI voice acting. It's a machine learning algorithm to create poster art and even a vocal performance. Well, listen. Why is that bad? I don't understand how that's bad. Yeah, I don't either. This idea that you're putting people out of work, yeah.

That's true. But that's also the case with autonomous trucks. Should we not have autonomous trucks that never crash or should we let truckers get high on meth and drive across the country? Which they don't anymore I should just say. They actually limit the amount of time

that they're allowed to be behind the wheel. Where they used to just fucking meth up and let's go. And they make it across the whole country in a day. They're not allowed to do that anymore. I see why artists are pissed, though. Not because they're going to lose their job, which they definitely are. Because it's amazing what AI. But AI takes from other artists, like a style of an artist.

So you can see other people's work in the AI like AI is using their kind of style so I see that it's kind of like copying and just changing little I posted some of that the other day from Alex Gray who yeah look I love dearly I've had Alex on the podcast before I think his art is amazing but this stuff is incredible. Yeah, look at that. Go one more to the right of that. Look at that. These are insane, man. This is insane. Look how gorgeous that is.

And that's done in Alex Gray style. And a lot of people don't like it. They're upset with it. Look at that. Come on, man. It's amazing. Fucking beautiful. Even how one eye is different than the other eye.

One eye is kind of droopy. Look at that. That is amazing. Fucking beautiful. Even how like one eye is different than the other eye. One eye is kind of droopy. Look at that. That is amazing. Anyone that says that's not beautiful because it wasn't totally done by the hand of a man or a woman or a non-binary person. Look at that. That's incredible, man. Look at this where the skulls go into the mushroom. I'm sorry.

That is fucking beautiful. And it is created by a person because a person had to program this thing is it the same do i value it the same no because what i value from a piece of art is that someone created it there's a thing about it but it's a different thing i still think that's beautiful you know like i've like when i see like a video game that uses like that new Unreal Engine that's incredible. I don't get upset that someone didn't paint that. I don't get upset that someone didn't create

the textures all on their own. I just look at it and say that's beautiful. But is it the same as someone doing an amazing animation that they drew by hand like the old Mickey Mouse days? No. No, those are different things. But just because someone can do it better now with technology doesn't mean it's bad.

Like, fuck AI art. Okay. But isn't it gorgeous? Like, I get what people are saying, that you're taking someone's style. But I think human beings are still going to make the distinction of something being gorgeous, like that a

person makes like a person does it with their hand they're gonna like that more always I just did Joe Rogan in the style of Alex Gray I've used to make my voice sound like yours yeah mmm have you seen seen that yet? It's pretty good. It's pretty good. I saw one where they had me doing a podcast with Steve Jobs. Yeah. It's crazy. It is so crazy. And it's just a matter of time before that's just available to everyone.

Everyone uses it. You like a girl. You have a video where she says, Brian, I love you. And you send it to her. And she's like, what the fuck? I never said this. You know? What is this?

Is this fake? In contemporary terms, it is not. What if I were to tell you that I'm not even a human being? Would you believe me? What is your perception of reality? What is your perception of reality? Is it the ability to capture, process, and make sense of the information our senses receive? If you can see, hear, taste, or smell something, does that make it real?

Oh my God, this is incredible. So this guy is this bald dude who's a white guy on the bottom. And there's a Morgan Freeman that's artificially generated that's above him. It's saying the words that he's saying in Morgan Freeman's voice. And it looks flawless. In real time. He's talking in real time. Is it definitely in real time? Yeah, that's him right there doing it.

He might have edited himself back in to make this video. Right. But he was recording his voice probably in real time or is it edited together? That's him right there doing it exactly. He might have edited himself back in to make this video. Right. But he was recording his voice probably in real time. Yeah. And then it's generating that in real time. But he might have done a little bit of extra work to make this all happen and make it look so unbelievable. But as processing power gets better, like the fact that they can do that in real time, it just shows you how amazing the processing power is.

Like if it gets better and better than that, they'll be able to not just do a person's face with a black background, It just shows you how amazing the processing power is. Like if it gets better and better than that, they'll be able to not just do a person's face with a black background, but like a complex imagery in the background. Like that person could be on the moon. That person could be in Antarctica. And then you mix robot with that realistic robot. So like the robot that Elon's making.

And then you put like a fake skin on them. And then real time, that could be a robot Joe Rogan, and voice wise. 100%. That's coming for sure. For sure, everyone's going to have like Scarlett Johansson in their house. That's like,

their maid is going to be a robot that looks like, what's that lady from Modern Family? Bombshell lady. Sofia Vergara. Sofia Vergara. You're going to have Sofia Vergara cooking food in your house

and greeting everybody at the front door. And you're like, what? There's like three of her in your house? Like, what's going on? You know, like if you go to Bill Gates' house, there's just all these like super hot robots. All with rusted crotches. That's the first thing that breaks. You know, it's like in the old cars,

like the brakes didn't work that good. These robots, they rust up. They're in the crotch. They find out there's, you can't come in them. You can have sex with them, but you got to pull out because something happens. There's a lot of corrosive aspects to jizz. Does your robot have crotch-rotch?

Crotch-rotch. Crust-rotch. Crotch-rotch. I knew what you were saying, but... Crust-rotch should be the name of your band. Crust-rotch. Did you see Crust-rotch last night?

Bro, they fucking slayed. They'd be one of them hardcore bands who like fucking jumps around, just leaps into the audience. Boy, that's some shit that I've never experienced live. Like those hardcore bands, like the Cro-Mags or something. I've never experienced that live.

Like it must be insane when they're just fucking screaming and just jumping into the audience and shit. Being in the pit or being in the homage pit. You know who loves that stuff? Chappelle Lacey. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He fucking sings that shit.

Yeah, he's in a band that does that. Yeah, Joel Berg's in it also. And it's nonsense. You would never think that, right? Well, my friend Ray, who's been on the podcast before, Yoga Ray, we used to call him from jujitsu, he was the lead singer of Youth of Today. Is that what it was?

Youth of Today. What is his uh he changed he has a yoga name now it's like i'll tell you what is he's a great guy by the way like i fucking love him to death he's such a cool guy he's such an interest he's always been a an interesting guy But, okay, I'm trying to, Raguna, R-A-G-H-U-N-A-T-H, Raghunath Yoga. Yeah, so that's, his name is Ray, Ray Capo. But we always used to call him Yoga Ray. But anyway, Yoga Ray is like this super peaceful guy who's like this amazing yogi, teaches yoga. He was in a hardcore band. Like the hardest of hardcore.

Shelter? He was in that too. But he was in that too yeah um but he was in youth of today if you find uh youth of today video find a video of their their concert ray capo youth of today and that kind of music is like tape your ankles up they say he was an ex-monk oh yeah he was he was a monk. He's a fascinating person. Like really, really. And he's the real deal. That's them back then. See if you can find a video. What is it? It's not going to be a very good video. The Cher's funny story. I think that was the story that he told from the, yeah, that's fine. I think that was a story he, yeah, there it is. 1988. Terrible video. Wow. But let's listen to it. Is this Shelter or is this Youth of Today?

Give me some volume. They don't have any volume. We'll get it so where they're actually singing. Push ahead here. Look at them just bouncing around. This is 88, dude. Now would you ever imagine that this guy jumping around screaming would be a yogi?

No. People are complex, Brian Redband. There he is. Wow. He's a real deal. Real deal. Really good guy. Sweetheart of a person.

And really good at jujitsu. deal really good guy sweetheart of a person and really good at jiu-jitsu but as jiu-jitsu was very odd because his legs he had so much leg dexterity from jiu-jitsu he's so flexible like he his legs were all over the place he couldn't get past his legs were arms couldn't give he had like extra arms he just wrap you up and grab you and shit with his legs it's crazy it's crazy how big jiu-jitsu is become like everyone's like crazy how big jiu-jitsu has become. Like, females are doing jiu-jitsu. You know, Justine, she does jiu-jitsu.

Maybe that's your pathway to health. No, I'm not doing it. I'm too old for that, man. Ryan Redman. I don't want to fuck my knees already fucked up. I don't want it. Did you ever find out what's wrong with your knee? Yeah. That trick knee that just pops out?

Every six years it happens. I'm not looking forward to having it again, man. What did you get an MRI? I did. I did all of it. Like having it again, man. What did you get an MRI? I did. I did all of it. Like, there's really nothing. What did they say? I don't remember.

But it's just going to happen over and over and over again. I probably could get some kind of surgery. But if it happens every six years, that's fine. Maybe get some stem cells in there. That's probably what I need to do for sure. But you don't know what the injury is. It's just a, what is it? Loose cap. Loose cap?

Loose cap? Maybe it's just your knee needs exercise. It's like some knees over toes guy shit. Yeah, I was supposed to go to a lot of physical therapy

and build it up the knee muscle, but... You were supposed to. Fuck that shit. Hey, physical therapy's the worst. Well,

you know, it's necessary, right? Right. You get an injury, they help you rehabilitate it. I went to it once. It worst. Well, you know, it's necessary, right? Right. You get an injury, they help you rehabilitate it. I went to it once. It's just like, all right, now sit on this bed, and I just want you to bend. We're going to do this 200 times. Yeah.

Why am I paying for this? No, get out of here. Because they're trying to get you healthy, buddy. I want that. What do you want them to do? You put electrodes on it and just zap it and make it right? Put some stem cells in there. How often do you work out?

I don't right now. At all? No. Zero. Zero. Wow. Probably should do a little, huh? Yeah.

Maybe just walk. Yeah. I mean, I'd do that. Yeah, but like walk around your neighborhood. Yeah, I'd do that. Like walk the dogs and stuff like that. There you go. That's something.

Yeah. That's definitely better than nothing. Walking is one of the best ways to burn fat, too. People go on long walks, like slow, steady walk. Like a lot of guys that are trying to get ripped, they'll spend like an hour and a half every day just walking. It's like a slow fat burn. Yeah. Guys are trying to get ripped.

My neighborhood has bobcats in it, though, so I don't like walking my dog right now. Oh, really? There's a whole family. Oh. Like there's a whole family and like there's four of them five of them and they probably wouldn't try to snatch your dog coyotes would though yeah you see that video of the coyote trying to snatch that kid in woodland hills yeah they ended up finding it and killing it that poor little baby has to get rabies shots and shit like that it's horrible yeah because, because she actually got bit.

It probably didn't have rabies, though. It was just acting like a predator. You see the raccoon? Yeah. Same thing. That raccoon probably did have rabies. Yeah. Because when a raccoon attacks, isn't that nuts that there's a disease?

Just like that rage thing from Planet of the Apes, there's a disease that makes you aggressive so that you can give it to someone else. Yeah. Well, you bite them, and then they have it. And it's fatal to people. Like 99% of the time when people get rabies, they're dead. Yeah. If you don't get shots, like right after you get bitten, you're fucked. Yeah.

Ooh, rabid raccoon found in Chartwood community of Saverna Park. I was just picking on rabid raccoon. Look at that face. Jesus. But meanwhile, some people have them as pets, and they're cool as fuck. Look at his little face, though. Raccoons are cool. They are cool, but imagine if they were huge.

Imagine if a raccoon, because it's kind of like a bear. I mean, look at that. Go to that photo to the far left. Now imagine that's 1,200 pounds and running around the woods like a bear. You know, like a big-ass coastal brown bear in Alaska. What the fuck? They're just as scary as a bear.

Maybe. But then he's adorable. Look at that. He's adorable in that picture. Are they related to bears? That's a good question. They look like that Asian red bear. What's it called? What? in that picture. Are they related to bears? That's a good question. Or what's the... That's a good question. What is that? Asian red bear?

What's it called? Koala? Panda? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Red panda. Oh, there's a red panda? Yeah.

What family of animal are they? Red panda, real quick. Yeah. Look at those. Oh, cutie. They're so cute. A little cutie. Let's see.

Did you ever see them have sex? I would. Pandas? They're ruthless. Where do you go to get that sex shit? Reddit. Let's see. What family are they in?

Oh. What is that? I don't know. Would it be a genus? Yes. Is that what we want? Yeah. But why don't you just Google, are raccoons related to bears?

And it'll tell you, no, they're related to this. They are raccoons. Yeah. Let's just see, are raccoons related to bears? Probably live two to three years. That's it? Probably rough tumble life out there eating out of garbage cans. Raccoons and bears belong to the same clade of carnivorous mammals,

but they are not small bears. Their physique is similar to that of a bear, and they are both predators, but the similarity is only due to their adaptation to a comparable way of life. I don't know why I struggle with comparable. So they're in the same clade of carnivorous mammals. What's the closest relative to a raccoon? Click on that. A red panda is close, considered a distant cousin of a North American closest relative to a raccoon? Click on that. Red panda is close, considered a distant cousin.

Distant cousin. Ah, look at that. See what it says, what's the closest relative? Ring-tailed cats. Oh, I saw one of those the other day in Texas. They're cool looking, man. I was running across the road, I'm like, wow, look at that. Animals are fucking cool, man.

It's cool to be around them and see them except bunny rabbits i fucking hate bunny rabbits how's that you said it was good oh yeah good why are all these people saying it's bad yeah bad taste and like weird stuff i have i have a friend that works in hollywood he does cg cgi for like movies and stuff like that and he got to see an early screening of it and he said the audience he was with everyone was bored out of their mind people were walking out he said he hated it and I was like what the fuck and then another friend of mine has seen it twice like and he's like this is great I don't know what to believe now was your friend in Hollywood that hated it yeah I think it might be one of those things where you're supposed to hate it right

right there's some things you're supposed to hate. Yeah. You know? I just want to see it. But it sucks I have to go to the movie theater because I have to see the 3D on that one, right? I don't think so. I don't think you have to. Yeah, you do. Why would you not? Remember how good the 3D was, though, last? That's what half of it is. It's a 3D experience.

Yeah, I mean, otherwise you're just watching stuff happen, and it's like the story is not good enough without 3D. Which is like the first one it was you know a pretty vanilla story i love the first story shit to see i mean it was definitely a derivative story right it was like pocahontas they called it there's just multiple times in the movie i'm watching and i'm like i can't believe all this is fake it's all this is all cgi none of this was real in the new one yeah just like they didn't go to a planet and film it in water fake this is all cgi none of this was real in the new one yeah just like they didn't go to a planet and film it in water it's like this is all fake shit now did you see

it in like 4d or any of that crazy stuff there's like a mx 4d thing and there is a 48 frames per second version like a high speed oh i don't know what makes that different i don't know if they're probably smoother yeah in la i looked you can definitely see that in multiple places in L.A. Wow. They did film a lot of it underwater because they said Kate Winslet held her breath for seven minutes. Wow. How is that possible? She's really good at holding her breath. I think it's a mental thing. I think my friend Remy Warren, he did this show a while back.

It was called Apex Predator. He did this show a while back. It was called Apex Predator. And he would learn about all these different predators and what skill set they used to try to hunt their prey. And in one of them, they were doing octopuses or octopi. And they were doing some stuff in the water. And he had to try to hold his breath for as long as he could. And they taught him how to do it. And the first time he it did it for like you know like normal people like two minutes but there's these

techniques that you can use and like they'll let you know that you're just this is like a panic response you don't really need to come up out of the water right now and if you learn to stay calm you can stay in the water far longer than you think wow that makes sense avatar Avatar star Kate Winslet thought she died breaking Tom Cruise's record. Yeah. And I think Sigourney Weaver did it too. And Sigourney Weaver is in her 70s. Seven minutes and 15 seconds. Wow.

And Cruise's record was for Mission Impossible Rogue Nation was six minutes. Wow. Try harder, Tom. Wow. She had, Tom. Wow. She had a video of her surfacing saying, am I dead, have I died? And then going, what was my time? She shared.

She said, I couldn't believe it. That's awesome. I wonder if you had a clock down there, you could do it longer. Why did she have to do it, though, just for the special effect of her, like, floating or something like that? I don't think there's a special effect. I think there's a lot of times where they're filming stuff

actually underwater. And the more time you could hold lot of times where they're filming stuff actually underwater. And the more time you could hold your breath, the more time you could be underwater. So she's doing this. So she's doing stuff where she's actually underwater. Wow. That's cool. Whatever character she is, it doesn't look like Kate Winslet. I couldn't tell that was her.

I had to look afterwards and be like, holy shit, Kate Winslet. Oh, really? I mean, I guess if you're really looking real hard, you can tell. But is she like an Avatar creature? Oh, that was her. I had to look afterwards and be like, holy shit, Kate Winslet. Oh, really? I mean, I guess if you're really looking real hard, you can tell. But is she like an Avatar creature? Mm-hmm. Oh, that's interesting. So they did with Sigourney Weaver. This is almost what shot spoiler alert.

This isn't a spoiler. It's like all Avatars. There's very few humans in the movie. But isn't the bad guy back? The fucking... How do they get him back? I'm not talking about that. Okay.

See the movie? Is Fleshlight making a new Avatar Fleshlight? Remember the Avatar Fleshlight? That was my favorite. That was, so Avatar was 2009. And think about how much better the CGI has gotten. And Avatar 1 was fucking dope. Yeah.

But how much better is the CGI now? I want to see it. I want to see it this weekend maybe. You're going to have to just buckle up and go to the movies. Did you go to IMAX? Yeah, it wasn't technically an IMAX screen, but I've looked around Austin. There is one I've seen, which is on the Texas Campus Theater. It is a legit, gigantic, huge, real IMAX screen.

But the rest of them, it's tough. Yeah, I lived next to one of those XD ones where the whole thing's moving and shit. Oh, shit. I'll never do that again. Haptic feedback. Yeah, after a while it was so fucking annoying. You're just like, stop. Right.

And then it's scary, too, because if something pops out, the whole seat is going to go boom like that. And so you go, oh! It almost gives you a heart attack. You think you just got hit by something. Imagine if you were doing that, but you were doing that for like some kind of fucking crazy racing movie. And the seats go side to side when you're doing it. That's how it was. I saw that stupid Lightyear movie.

And so during flying things and stuff like that. What is Lightyear? The Pixar movie. The one with Buzz Lightyear. Oh, that's the one where they replaced Tim Allen because he believes in Jesus. Why did they get rid of Tim Allen? That is the weirdest thing that they did that. Why did they do that?

They did it because of his political beliefs? I think they did it for the price. Oh, clever, Brian. Yeah. Oh, you might be right. Yeah. Yeah, right? What a good way to force him out and get a little money on the budget.

Yeah, and it's not like, I mean, he played a younger version or a different version of him. You know, like where Tim Allen played the toy of the character. Yeah. And so that's why I think they also did it because it's not supposed to be the same person. Right. So it's, you know, it's just going to be like a version of that person. Right. That movie sucked.

Also with this Tim Allen thing, excuse me, with this Morgan Freeman thing rather, I wonder if they could do the Tim Allen thing with that. They don't even need you anymore. Oh, that's what I told you. They did that with Bruce Willis because he lost the way to can't talk. Right. So they've deep faked him into at least one commercial so far. Oh, yeah.

He's signed off all his likes and stuff. That's crazy. He can't talk. Fuck. How do we fix Bruce Willis? I know. I used to love that dude from Moonlighting. I loved that show.

Oh, Moonlighting and Die Hard. That was back in the day when you couldn't record things. You had to be there when it happened, whatever night it was on. Yeah. This is not Bruce Willis. Let me see this. This is not. Let me see it.

Whoa. Let's see what it says. It's not so good. me see it. Whoa. See what it says? Mississippi. Mississippi. Oh, my God. It's an authorized deep fake, and this is in where? Russian?

It's Russian. Yeah, this is Russian deep fake for him, yeah. Wow. They've been doing that for Biden for the last four months. People thought that Trump NFT thing was fake for three days. Oh, my gosh. No, he's really jacked like that. Have you watched that commercial yet? Bro, how crazy is he?

How crazy is he? That is the funniest. Your favorite president, better than Washington, better than Lincoln. Play that because it's so ridiculous. And this was like a big announcement. Yeah, it sold out. It sold out. He's holding the Statue of Liberty torch in one of the pictures.

That makes me so sad. Those Trumpers, man, they fucking love him like he's the Dallas Cowboys. You know, it's like they're just loyal to the team. It's like us against them. That's what they've, you know, there's a certain type of person in this country that feels unrepresented, you know. That is so funny, though. Here's the website. I'm trying to get to the official.

Wow. Just look at whoever. It's just ridiculous. I can't believe this is real. It's real. Trump Towers. Hello, everyone. This is Donald Trump.

Trump Towers. Hello, everyone. This is Donald Trump. Hopefully your favorite president of all time. Better than Lincoln. Better than Washington. With an important announcement to make. I'm doing my first official Donald J. Trump NFT collection right here and right now. They're called Trump Digital Trading Cards.

These cards feature some of the really incredible artwork pertaining to my life and my career. It's been very exciting. You can collect your Trump digital cards just like a baseball card or other collectibles. Here's one of the best parts. Each card comes with an automatic chance to win amazing prizes like dinner with me. I don't know if that's an amazing prize, but it's what we have. Or golf with you and a group of your friends at one of my beautiful golf courses, and they are beautiful. I'm also doing Zoom calls, a one-on-one meeting, autographing memorabilia, and so much more. We're doing a lot. My official Trump digital trading cards are $99, which doesn't sound like very much

for what you're getting. buy one and you will join a very exclusive community it's my community and i think it's something you're going to like and you're going to like it a lot they also make perfect gifts so you can buy them with your credit card or crypto all you need is an email address go to collect collecttrumpcards.com Okay, I get it. If you bought 45 of them, you got invited to dinner. Just imagine saying that. You bought 45 of them? That's all it takes to go to dinner with them? Or you just got

a no Kanye. Max was $100 you could buy. $45,000? Or no, $4,500. Oh man, dinner? I would have done that. It was like a big dinner. It wasn't a personal dinner. It was a big celebration. He's a table behind a bulletproof glass.

I'm the best. Your favorite dinner guest of all time. It's just like an Applebee's. You buy 45, you're guaranteed a ticket to dinner with the president. Oh my god. You're guaranteed a ticket to dinner with the president. Can you Oh, my God. You're guaranteed a ticket to dinner with the president. Oh, my God.

Can you look at the fine print? Does it say, like, you'll be with, you know? What if you're next con? Yeah. Yeah. It's a virtual dinner. Yeah. It's a Zoom dinner.

He's eating Kentucky Fried Chicken on his plane. Right. You know? I like how you're going to be in an exclusive club, and they show, like, a helicopter. Meanwhile, you just have an email with a photo in it. This is my helicopter. It's the best helicopter. No one's had a better helicopter.

Better than Lincoln. Lincoln didn't have a helicopter. Lincoln had a stupid fucking horse. Why did he also say that? Better than Lincoln? Definitely better than Washington. Listen, man, he's leaning all in. He's going full pro wrestling.

Half of me wants to see that happen again. It's going to happen. You think? Yeah, so once they put him in jail, it's going to happen. And it looks like Biden's going to run against him. That's what they've been saying. Doesn't say much. It's crazy.

When and where is this Mar-a-Lago cocktail hour? The location will be at one hour. They fucking gun everyone in the room down. We'll give you at least 30 days notice to plan your trip. All costs and expenses associated with live events made available to digital trading cards owners, including but not limited to all federal, state, and local taxes, air and ground, transportation, gratuities, airline, luggage. Black tie is optional.

Optional. You can wear a red tie. It will be in South Florida. South Florida. We will give you at least 30 days notice to plan your trip. All costs and expenses associated with the live event, but not limited to. Oh, so they pay for everything. They fly you in.

They pay for everything. You don't have to tip anybody. You get upgrades. Doesn't it say that? All costs and expenses associated with the event. But not limited to. Available to, but not limited to. All federal.

Yeah. I think they pay all your taxes on it. They're the sole and exclusive responsibility of those that attend the gala. Wait. Hold on. Hold on. Travel expenses are the sole and exclusive responsibility of those that attend. Oh, so there's a misc.

Miscellaneous. I say I confuse the period in miscellaneous because they didn't say miscellaneous. They just said MISC with a period at the end of it. Okay, let's read that again. It says, all costs and expenses associated with the live event made available to digital trading card owners, including but not limited to all federal and state local taxes, air and ground transportation gratuities, airline luggage charges, incidentals, upgrades, insurance service charge, and other miscellaneous travel expenses are the sole and

exclusive responsibility of those that attend the gala dinner. So it's the opposite of what I thought it was. It's everyone, you have to pay for everything. Yeah. So you have to pay taxes, you have to pay for your transportation, you have to pay for tips, airline, luggage, incidentals, upgrade, everything. Insurance. Okay.

When is the Zoom call? How do we get involved? You know he's got regular size hands. Does he? Yeah, shook his hand. Really? He came to the UFC. He was behind us and came up to us, put his hand on my shoulder.

And I looked up and it's fucking Donald Trump. And I just pulled my head up and I think to his eyes and said, nice to meet you. Shook his hand. Regular fucking hand. Yeah. And he put his hands on Daniel Cormier. He's like, I would not want to fight this guy. Would not want to fight this guy.

And Daniel's like, holy shit, it's 45. 45 and 47. Look, he's a threat to democracy. There's a lot of threats, folks. There's a lot wrong here. It's not just that guy. But if you deny the humor of what that guy is, well, laughing at him you are opening the door to chaos but art it's still funny you're not going to stop people from laughing at that so you can't do that you can't stop people from recognizing how fucking

insane it is to have an actual former president be on tv selling like digital cartoons of himself saying they're the greatest they're so inexpensive for what you get, I'm the best president, better than Lincoln, I'm your favorite. Look how silly they should. Look at these things. He's a hunter who's built like the rock with a gun. These are crazy. These are so funny.

Superman. Look at the Superman one, super jacked. Imagine if he got a trainer and started getting jacked. The art style looks awesome, by the way. It almost looks like AI, but it also looks like he just got a Fiverr. Like, you know, that website Fiverr? He just paid somebody five bucks to make a... It's perfect.

It'll look good over the kitchen table. Everybody has to say their prayers and then look to Trump for guidance. Before every meal. Look at him. He's being sold out. Imagine if he got jacked, though, and he started an Instagram page where he had his shirt off all the time. He's, like, working out. You know?

Just looking swole as fuck. What if The Rock turns Republican and starts training him? Things go so haywire that everybody's abandoning every party. No one knows what to do. How old is he, though? He's 1,000 years old. Right. But he's got access to the best medicine.

Be in a hyperbaric chamber 24 hours a day for a month. Come out looking like a baby. You know who was also ridiculous? Rudy Giuliani. I saw a photo of him the other day just, like, standing on a sidewalk looking at his phone. He's wearing these pants that look like hammer pants. They're super baggy.

And then his suit, that's a different color suit. Like, his suit top was black, and this was, like, off blue. Like, I don't think he even knows. I respect it. Probably can't see anymore. I can't see anymore. That's what I'm saying. My eyesight eyesight sucks the other day when I was getting ready for go to the UFC I couldn't figure out if my shirt was black or blue Really I get it near the sunlight I had to bring it near the window so I could look at it

I'm like is that dark dark blue or is it black because I know I have dark dark blue shirts I don't want to be that idiot on TV with a dark blue shirt. Where on camera it looks dark blue, but in your fucking poorly lit closet, you can't tell if it's black or blue. Yeah, that's part of getting old, dude. Yeah, my eyes are fucked. That's why old people can fuck each other. They don't know what each other looks like. They're like Brad Pitt. They can't see faces.

Right. Yeah. I mean, old people have sex, man. I would want my girl to be fat if I was old, though. Why? Because then you'd be able to feel things. Right. Like, oh, it's tits.

Like an old, frail old lady. Oh, yeah, you don't want that. That would suck. That would suck. Yeah, frail people scare you. When you hug them. Yeah. When you have a friend that's, like, real frail and you hug them.

Yeah. Like, how you doing, man? What's up? And you give them a hug. They're like, oh, no. You just crack their knuckle. You okay? Like, you're real frail and you hug them yeah hey do a man's up and you give them a hug like oh no you just crack their knuckle you okay like you're so frail have you seen this new show coming out on tlc called milf manor oh shit i'm in there's uh the trailer leaves a spoiler that they don't spoil which i think you can imagine what it is going to be they bang each other

well it's it's these eight women get into a house, and then these eight college hunks show up is what it says, but I think the hunks are going to be their sons. Oh, no. That's what it sounds like. Oh, so the sons bang the other moms? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What if they hook their sons up? Like, listen, this chick's a freak.

It's just all the women. They're like- Where are they? Like Mexico or something, you know? It doesn't show any of the guys' faces, so you can't tell off the trailer, but all the moms are just like, I just want a young man. Horny ladies who are in their 40s who know what they want and these young dudes who have dick for days. Sounds like a party.

This show is so gross. That would be crazy if you were there with your son. Your son was fucking this lady that you don't like, but she's got big tits. They think that one of the boys is going to do it, or the sons, when they go back and hang out, talking about each other's moms? Yeah, are they allowed to swim? What if the boys are friends? That would be even more fucked.

It seems like they're all hanging out together. It's a real-world house. I'm too ashamed. I have an extremely high libido. Should I just have said high libido? She's ready. They're putting that scent out there. She knows she's got like five more years of this party. It looks like fun to see what happens if that's what it is,

but I don't know what the other twist would be if it's not. That would be weird. Here's the thing. Try doing this with reverse sexes. Try doing this where there's a bunch of old divorced men in their 40s and you bring in these 19-year-old college girls. Everybody would be so angry. They'd be like, no fucking way.

There's no fucking way. And then if the guys start fucking other guys' daughters, they would fight. They would beat the shit out of each other. That sounds a million times better, dude. Imagine, this is how weird the world is. You could never have that. You could never have like...

Yeah, you could. Could you? What if the show's so popular, they're like could never have like yeah you could you could you what if the show's so popular they're like you have to do it another way enough college freshman 19 years old and a bunch of guys in their 50s who are ripped no not even you know they're all like just like like slobby you know yeah but those girls are hot that's part of the fun of it is the girls are hot so the guys are into those girls. Those women are in their 40s, but they're all smoke shows. Look at them. They're all banging bodies.

They're all hot. Those guys get a couple of tequilas in them. Let's go. It's going to happen, right? You know that. And if those girls are saying, I have extremely high libido, big old double D science-created mama jamas popping out of their fucking shirt and they're they're touching that guy's leg and he's 19 he's in a trance he doesn't know what's going on next thing you know his dick

is hard as a crowbar and it's time to go with this old lady let's go but if you had that the opposite way if you had a bunch of guys in their 50s that just like take testosterone they're all ripped they're all fucking doing crossfit every day and shit and they have a lot of money and big watches and shit and they're like i got an extremely high libido and then these girls come in they look all innocent and giggly and they're they're cute their little butts are hanging out when they're jumping in the pool we'd be like what kind of fucking show is this the show's bullshit yeah yeah wait a second why were all those women white i'm pouring up yes it's everything i'm pouring up no you Yes. It's everything on Pornhub. You know what I see more of now than anything is what I call karma-free porn.

Here's karma-free porn. Stepmom porn, where you don't feel bad about anybody involved, where the woman is like 45 years old but still really hot and then- That's what this is. It's almost what this is. Sort of. hot and then but but what I'm saying is the woman's really hot and it's the the Sun is home for like spring break or something like that and dad ignores the hot lady and is just working all the time and then she's hot as fuck but

she's a freak and then next you know he's giving her a massage and bounce wow that's karma free you don't feel bad for the woman because she wants it and she seduces the guy. She seduces the college kid into doing it. And then you don't feel bad about the dad because fuck that old rich asshole with this wife that he shouldn't have. It's always like some geriatric man. Well, don't you fuck my son when I'm at work. He's like, I wouldn't. I love you, baby.

And then as soon as he leaves, she just can't wait. Oh, my God, my neck is killing me. Would you please rub my neck? He's like, I don't know if my dad would be cool with that. That's karma-free porn. That's hilarious. You don't feel bad about anybody involved, you know? Because there was a time where I couldn't watch porn.

There was a time where porn got really, like, gaggy. Really, like, where girls were crying a lot. Like, tears running down their eyes while they're, oh, oh, oh. I'm out. Yeah. That looks crazy. I'm not interested in that. You know, remember that guy Max Hardcore?

He got arrested for obscenity. Like, his porn was so fucked up, they put him in jail. Which is like, who gets to decide that? Like, obscen obscenities like that's one of those things like I know it when I see it I can't describe it but I know it when I see it like what did they they charged him in Florida find out what that is but he did horrible shit in those films yeah like it was like I didn't want to describe it but like pissing in girls assholes and. Grabbing their heads real hard. Horrible shit.

But it was like they all agreed to it. They knew they were going to do it when they signed up. They knew what he did. But even so, you're like, who wants that? Like why are you even into that? The stepmom thing makes sense to me. You know? I got to go to the gym.

I can't really give you a massage. Please. My back hurts so much. My father is just, he doesn't want, he's always so tired when he comes home from the bank. Karma-free porn. He got arrested. He got, let's see, charged back in 1998. Trial 2002. This says he got arrested again in 1998. Trial 2002.

This says he got arrested again in 2005. I think, didn't he die? I think he died, right? I do not know. He did time, though. He did time. I'm trying to see. Oh, there it goes.

Found guilty on all charges and sentenced to 46 months in prison. What were the charges? Five counts of transporting obscene matter by the use of interactive computer service and five counts of mailing obscene matter relating to five movies showing fisting, urination, and vomiting. Fisting. Good old fisting. You don't see a good fisting video anymore. The old days.

I think people just decided it's not fun. Yeah. What are we doing? I think, you know, it's like one of those things, like the tide comes in, the tide goes out. Things get too crazy. Like, let's pull this back a little bit. No more fisting. But I'm sure there's fisting videos.

They're just not out everywhere. Yeah. It used to be a lot of that in, like, Japanese women putting octopuses in their pussy and stuff. I think that's still around. You think that's still around? I haven't seen that in a while. There's a lot of anime like that. A lot of it was just, you know,

there was some real girl stuffing squids up there, but a lot of it was like giant muscular octopuses with dicks at the end of their tentacles, and they were banging all these girls, and the girls were in ecstasy. Mm-hmm. It's very creepy. Like, imagine that's your thing.

God, I wish I was an octopus. Find some lady skinny dipping. Come here. How do they stop that from being an AI thing? Do you have to make it age-gated stuff? Like, do you have to pay to be able to get into that, like, octopus porn tentacle stuff? I want to see all of this stuff.

You can't just have it available for everyone, like, right out of the gate. It's like what? Kids' brains. Well, you know, if something's illegal to do for real, I mean, we do that with murder. Like you can watch CGI murder in a movie where people get shot and killed. It's special effects. It's totally illegal to murder somebody. But you can murder someone in a movie.

effects. It's totally illegal to murder somebody. But you could murder someone in a movie. But illegal sexual stuff. Yeah. Because if you started doing AI kid porn, there's no fucking way. You could never do that. It's tough to make that fake, I guess.

Is it? We just saw this Morgan Freeman thing. What can they do now? They might be able to do that. You know, I guess. Is it? We just saw this Morgan Freeman thing. What can they do now? They might be able to do that. You know? I guess, yeah. Totally. I think they could probably make almost anything now if they can make Avatar.

They can make almost anything look real. There was something that I read. It was an article. I only read the headline. They were talking about creating uh sex robots that are like young for pedophiles to keep them from actually trying to molest kids yeah did you see that yeah that's a real thing is that's kind of the same thing we're talking about right yeah but if it helps and it's not a real thing right Right. It's one of those things, man. It's like, it's very messy.

Like, if someone has that urge and doesn't do anything about it ever because their morals and their ethics prevent them from doing it. Like, what is that thing? Like, what is that urge? That's a fucked up part of, it's not like it's only on one person, right? That urge exists on multiple people. People get arrested for it all the time. It's a horrible urge. But, like, where's that coming from?

And could that possibly be inside a person who never acts on it? You get molested, then you become the molester. It happens to some people that way, right? Yeah. I think that's the majority of it, right? Ooh, it's fucking horrible. I'm not going to put this on the screen, but you're making me, reminding me of this art from the Balenciaga situation a couple weeks ago.

I told you about this, but this is like a mannequin that someone, I don't know who owns it. This says the CEO of Balenciaga's parent company owns this art. I just Googled the art. But wasn't, it was the CGI of the parent company that owns it? CEO. CEO owns it. Like at his house?

That's what this says. Fuck face. Owns site that sells child sex mannequins. With erect penises on their, what? What the hell? Jesus Christ. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Why is that guy taking a photo with, what's her face?

Salma Hayek. I think they're married. They're married? What? What? Let me check. Whoa. That's insane.

Is that real? Oh my God. That's a different guy. Yeah. That's a different guy. French. That's a different guy. French businessman. Is it a different guy? Or is it the same guy?

That's the same guy. Same guy. Whoa. What the hell? Gucci CEO. Whoa. French luxury group. Now, those are for sale somewhere?

So that's what this says. It's that they run the site that sells them. What is the website that's saying this? Is this a legitimate website? This is one of those TikTok stories that came out, but you look the stuff up, and some of it is accurate. It's like, here's Newsweek. Who are the artists dragged into this discussion? And so the artists, are those digital images, or is that like a physical object?

The first thing it says is this is an actual object. This is being sold at Christie's. What? This is Christie's.com. What? How much? Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

This is for sale on Christie's in the auction? I'm on Christie's.com. I'm not even in a deep weird website now. This is from 1966? Closed 2010 is when it was sold. That was when it was sold. But this thing, so this object was created in 1966. I think so. What fuck man or the artists were born then is what that

means I think you execute in 1994 I think that means when the artists are born okay so it was made in 1994 what the fuck exhibited in 2006 so that they call that art and that was sold for 115 thousand dollar if you don't if you're not looking at this you probably don't good So they call that art. And then it was sold for $115,000. If you're not looking at this, you probably don't. Yeah, I'm not showing it at all. Good. You really don't want to look at this. It's a little boy with his mouth is not a mouth anymore.

It's like a fuck hole. And he has a penis, an erect penis for a nose. And it's titled Fuck Face. And he doesn't have pants on it. He doesn't have pants on. And he's a tiny little baby. He's like two or three years old. He's got real weird art.

Other art is not as bad or strange as that but it's very weird stuff. Like this guy with a dick for a nose. Decapitated head. Yeah, but that's good. Wow. That's all you need.

Keep the dick hard. What is this one? It's so crazy. Like who would want to do that? Who would want to make a decapitated head with a dick for a nose? Like, that's what I'm on. Show up to someone's house and that's theirs. It's like, yeah.

Well, if they get to a point where they can genetically engineer life forms that really didn't exist before, how long before someone makes that? Make some guy with a nose that's a dick and his mouth is right where your butthole is and you just ride his face. Yeah, even as art, I can't even understand what the artist was thinking in that. Like, you know,

usually it could be like, I see what the artist was saying. He was saying something, you know. Yeah, what are you saying when you have a little baby with no pants on with a fuckhole for a mouth and a penis for a nose?

There's some fucked up people out there the thing is like what is that i don't weird so it's a blow-up doll having sex with another blow-up doll what's happening in front like they're showing it to kids oh boy they're showing that to kids that's what it looks like maybe that's part of the art i don't know people have always been fucked I don't mean like physically have like someone fucked them I mean people are fucked up they've always been fucked up and it

that kind of fucked up there's always been like and this is a thing because if you bring it if you bring up like elite people that are molesting children people like oh my god you're tinfoil hat. You're gone. You're off into conspiracy land.

Because for most people, they don't experience that. There's no, you have no reference point. That sounds crazy. That's not real. But if you go to one of those wacky ass parties in Hollywood, you're like, oh my God, these places are real. Like there's probably a version of that for like elite pedophiles. They have to exist. They've always existed in the past

maybe they exist in other countries maybe there's only a couple of them maybe there's maybe there's a network of them though because it seems like they have exposed networks of people doing stuff like that in the past we just don't want to admit it because it's so horrific so we don't want to look at it you don't want to say it out loud because you say it out loud all of a sudden you're a kook and you're a conspiracy theorist. But what if it is actually happening? And your inability to even entertain the thought that it could be possibly happening. And this is sort of like a groupthink thing that happens with all of us. We don't even want to entertain it. And because we don't want to entertain it, it doesn't get brought up.

It's not like a thing that's like at the forefront of everybody's conversation until something like this Balenciaga thing happens. And you hear a bunch of different versions of it. Like who did what? What happened? I heard it was just a designer. Or I heard it was just a publicist that did that. And she had some wacky shit on her site, but it had nothing to do with the company.

Did you see this video she's the great this is a great granddaughter of guccio gucci she's i think she's like the heiress is that his name guccio that's what it says what a great name she's making a bunch of claims that her family members made her do a bunch of stuff what kind of stuff uh Sexual stuff? Yeah. Sexual abuse. Suffered at the hands of her stepfather, and no one did anything about it. Stepfather porn. Very dark. I don't like stepfather porn.

I don't like that kind of stuff. I like stepmom only. I like stepmom porn. I like that 45-year-old lady who lifts weights. Big old ta-tas. Letting everybody know she's ready to rock. I have a very high libido. Wearing her leopard print.

It's very different from the Gigolo show that was very popular, right? These guys are being paid. Yeah. And a whole different thing. Yeah, if you had Hooker Island, people would be like, turn that off. You can't have,

those poor girls are sex trafficked. But if you have Gigolo Island where a bunch of old ladies with cash go to get dicked down, everybody would be like, fuck yeah, girl. You get yours. You know, like Chippendales guys,

Chippendales guys run a train on some lady and and that's what she wants, and she's fucking all happy. No one's upset. She pays them. Thank you. No one's mad at that. She's like, how do I get some of that dick? He's like, you fucking give me a bag of money, you get this dick. Everybody be like, sounds like they made a deal.

Sounds like they made a solid deal. It's interesting what society decides is okay and is not okay, too. There was all these songs back when we were kids. Kiss had a song called Christine 16. Remember that? Yeah. About a 16-year-old. It's like, I've got to have her. I've got to have her. Remember that song Yeah. About a 16 year old. It's like, I've got to have

her. I've got to have her. Remember that song? Play that song. Play Christine 16. And what's that other song? She was only 17. Yeah, but she was sexy. That's Rick James. Yeah. She was only 17. Yeah. 17. But she was sexy.

Yeah. I mean and there's another one different world different world back then yeah there was one I was like didn't Winger have a song called 17

she's only 17 remember that who's the one you want me to play I forgot 16 Christine 16 Christine 16 was like

I was I definitely wasn't 16 when this came out I was a kid and we used to sing this song Like I was a giant Kiss fan When I was like 11, 12 years old Yeah this is the song So this is from Love Gun From what year is this?

I want to say like 70 Dude when I was a kid When we were in high school this song was the shit you didn't think about it as like a Statutory rape song right she's got me dancing You have to pretend. She's 16. Christine, 16. That's crazy. This was not that long ago.

Keep it going. Look at the way they're dressed, too. She drives me crazy. I want to give her. She drives me crazy. I want to give her. Isn't it crazy they played Vulcan? Yeah. Yeah.

Just a couple weeks ago. I was bummed out that I wasn't in town. I would have loved to see that. Nick sent me a video. It looked incredible. Listen to this. I saw you walking out of school that day. I saw you walking out of school that day.

Now imagine how many girls in high school. Keep going, Jamie. What are you doing? How many girls in high school? Are we in trouble? It's fun to listen to't know. I mean, probably. It's fun to listen to. Probably.

I think Spotify plays Kiss. Yeah, yeah, that's not good, but. Come on. Do you know a band called Love Hate? Can't live without her. Wow, no. It's crazy. What year was that?

I'm looking at a list of songs when it shows up. wow no it's crazy what year was that i bet it was about 76 if i had to guess i say 77 something like that what are you saying do i know 77 what band do you know a band called love hate no they have a song called Queen, and one of the lyrics was, met a little girl just 13. She's a knocked down, blue-eyed slut, psycho virgin tease. Jesus Christ. What year is that from? I don't remember. I'd say like 70s. Last week?

Yeah. Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye. But that wasn't about someone, was it? He's talking about a 17-year-old girl. Does he say it in the song? He says, problem is she was 17, he's twice her age. There's nothing wrong with me loving you, baby, no, no, and giving yourself to me. You can never be wrong if the love is true.

Oh, boy. He doesn't say anything. How do they know this? Hold on. Oh, no, no, no. That's not the lyrics. Okay, here it is. I like to think I'm good for a surprise or two when it comes to these playlists.

Let's get it on. Is that a surprise? Let me explain. Yes, I get that you sing along with this when you hear it on commercials, during the old school lunch breaks, and at grown and sexy social scenes, but Marvin was up to no good when he wrote it. When he recorded it, he was dating Janice Hunter. Okay, he was dating a girl. Janice was 17. Got it.

Okay, but how do you know that that... So they're not saying that he wrote that song about her. I read it so quickly, I thought that's what I was seeing with all this. Let me tell you something. I doubt he was only dating Janice. Janice! You know, let's just... Sorry. I doubt he was only dating Janice. Janice. You know,

let's just, sorry. I just, let's be realistic. He was Marvin motherfucking gay. You know, and back then, that guy was

the man. He probably had to fight them off. I mean, women are probably showing up at his house every day. He would sing about fucking.

Let's get it on. Yeah, it sing about fucking He died in Hollywood right his father killed him yeah, he had a jealous father Girl he'll be a woman soon No no no no no no Roy, Everson had pretty woman It's Neil Diamond. Is it? Yeah. Wow.

They didn't sing that version, though, in Pulp Fiction. He didn't. Or Joe Verkel did. What was the other song that we were just talking about? Marvin Gaye. Let's get it on. Play that. Give me some of that.

That song's fucking amazing. I remember reading. I dated this girl. This is crazy. I was really into Marvin Gaye for a while when I was like 21. And I was dating this girl when she was 25. And then I read that Marvin Gaye's dad killed him. And I was like, fuck.

And she goes, do you know how much of a horrible person he must have been that his dad killed him? Wow, yeah. And I was like, what? But see, this woman that I was dating had a great relationship with her dad. Her dad was a great guy. She loved her dad. So she would never associate a father with being someone who would

abuse you. I grew up without my dad. So for me, I was like, no, his dad was probably an asshole. His dad was probably jealous. His dad was probably just some terrible, there's terrible people that fuck people and have kids. Murderers, monsters, thieves, con artists. They fuck people and have kids and then they have a son. I saw a video today of a boxing match between a father and a son it made me so sad made me so sad because there's this young kid he looks like he's probably like 17 or 18 and the father's 42 and the father beats the shit out of him I mean like dings him in the head and keeps punching him. I'm like, that's your son. That's your son.

And we're watching you beat your son up, because I get your son probably got cocky with you, but and he celebrates after he knocks his son out. It made me so sad. Because first of all, I'm like, that kid has brain damage now. 100%. Maybe it's just a little. Maybe he'll be fine.

Maybe he'll get over it. But maybe you fucked him up. That can happen too. He might be depressed from now on after that. It might fuck up his pituitary gland. It happens to people. And you just did that to your son. You're supposed to like touch him up. You're supposed to not even hurt him. Like slam him in the body a little bit. Like you think he can fight? Okay, dude good dude okay let's have a little boxing match you don't tee off on your son's face on television it's crazy how old was the kid kid looks young to me he looks like you know he could be 20 he could be 19 he looks young he's real skinny and the father's kind of jacked not too jacked but but you know He's fit and he could fucking punch. He knows how to box and the son doesn't look like he has any idea What the fuck he's doing? I

Don't know what the thing was like someone sent it to me and they were like cheering that this old guy knocked his son out I was like you guys are crazy That you failed you failed as a man. Yeah, this is it. That's not exactly what was happening. It's not what is it? They're not father son. Oh, why does it lie? It says father knocks out son at celebrity boxing match I get somebody to click on this. Oh, this was like a youtuber thing. This guy's a youtuber and he's a youtuber I'm such a sucker. They got me hate that. Okay now I'm not sad anymore Now I'm like fuck yeah old guy who fucked up that young punk who's talking shit about him.

If that was your son, if that was actually his son, that would be the saddest shit of all time. Because if you're a guy and you could box like that, you could punch like that, you've been boxing, right? So you know that people that have brain damage, you know the consequences of getting punched in the face. But if it's just some cocky kid who wants to box with some dude, I'm all in. So now I'm in in isn't that interesting just just all about the relationship the two people have with each other

i want love whenever possible but sometimes people talk shit and they need to get cracked here's the guy walking out he's ready to roll yeah look at him with a tie oh god he's 42 you know he's on testosterone. Look at him. But the thing is, it's like he actually knows how to box a little bit. Like, this guy knows he's in trouble.

You can tell. Like, from the very beginning, he looks nervous as fuck. And that other dude looks super confident. That's how a lot of these have gone. Look at this.

It says daddy on his chest. I guess that's probably a joke because it doesn't look like a real tattoo. Why don't you give us the full screen so we can see it? Dad Feels is the guy's name. That's his name?

Yeah. This is like his Twitch account. So these are Twitch guys? YouTuber. This is on his account. It's Dad. I like how he goes full bald, too. Bald spot, goofy hair in the front.

Yeah. Just looks stupid when you beat his ass. Look at him dancing around. I like it. Look how confident he is but then once the fight starts you realize why he's confident because he actually knows how to box just look at the body difference dude's way more jacked also oh look at that oh oh yes he can actually punch a little bit i, he definitely doesn't look like a serious boxer, but he's throwing some fucking haymakers, and he's landing them. He's digging to the body, like right there.

That was great. Oh. Stop the fight. Stop it. Stop it. Yeah, I mean, he got fucked up. That other dude had no business being in there. Now I understand why he's so happy.

That was awesome. Okay, now it's better. Isn't it funny how just a little bit of information, now you know more? Now you know more about the situation. You're like, Okay, now it's better. Isn't it funny how just a little bit of information, now you know more. Now you know more about the situation. You're like, oh, I'm all in. Yeah, looking at that and thinking that was a real father-son, that would have freaked me out.

It made me sad. I thought it was a real father-son. These fucking titles should be illegal. What is YouTube doing to stop misinformation? What is YouTube doing? What are you doing to stop misinformation? That's real misinformation, YouTube. But that's how we clicked on it.

If it was like 42-year-old guy beats up young guy, I'm not interested. My favorite is this old boxer. And he looks like he's like fucking 65. And he's got a sweater on. And he beats the shit out of this young jack guy. Like they start boxing. And all of a sudden this guy starts bobbing his head. You're like, oh, my God, this old guy can fight. Watch this. Have you ever of this young jack guy. Like, they start boxing. And all of a sudden, this guy starts bobbing his head. You're like, oh, my God, this old guy can fight.

Watch this. Have you ever seen this one? No. So look at the young guy. Jacked. Heartthrob. Man bun. Look, he's got a man bun.

Right? So he's smiling. He thinks this is funny. Look at that. Okay, you want to box? All right, bro. So he touches gloves with this guy. Look at the guy with the sweater on.

But watch this. The guy starts punching himself in the gloves with this guy. Look at the guy with the sweater on. But watch this. The guy starts punching himself in the face and moving forward. Look at this. Look at him head movement. The guy should be nervous right now. Oh, wow. Look at this old guy. Beats the brakes off this kid. Drops him with a fucking left haymaker. Look at this. Oh my god.

Holy shit. Yeah. And then he's like, hey, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine. He puts his hands up. Is that enough? It's like Rocky's coach. What is he saying? What language is it?

Let me hear him talk again. Back it up a little because he's talking to those guys. Oh, they're Italian. Is it? They're Italian. Yeah. Yeah. Get in there, Rocky.

Yeah. There's a lot of old men in Italy that'll punch you in the face. Be careful. That's awesome. But that's better, right? That one's even better. Because that way the guy's older, so he's an actual grown, full man. He's in his 30s.

He's jacked. He's not a little kid. And the old guy's a beast. Just seeing him like this and then start bobbing and weaving, you're like, oh, no. That's so cool. Oh, no. I want more of that. If you don't know how to box and you're like, oh.

And you see that guy doing that, that's a fucking terrible place to be. And the fact that he had a man bun, too, really helped. It helps a lot. And he's jacked. And he's got a sleeveless shirt on. It's showing the guns. He gets lit up. You guys are really hitting on man buns.

Yeah. I've been trying to get you to shave your head for years, son. You don't do the man bun thing, do you? Like a samurai. Well, you don't do it on. That's like ponytail. It's the same. Yeah, I don't do that messy bun all tied up on top.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a strange thing. That's either you're a samurai or, you know, you're a male feminist. One of the two. You know, the first guy I ever saw have that, though,

it was pretty cool. It was Hicks and Gracie. Hicks and Gracie did it because he was into samurais. Like, he grew his hair out long and he had it back there like a fucking samurai back when he was the man.

When he was... There's a video. See if you find Hicks and Gracie... Yeah, look. Yeah. So he was the man when he was there's a video see if you find hickson vate gracie yeah look yeah he had a man bun but this is when he was is that crone that's crone that's his son um that's the son there too but there's hickson had that way back in the day that's cool see if you can find the images of hickson back hickson back in the day was a goddamn heartthrob look at him there doing yoga. Look at that.

Yeah. Imagine that guy likes your lady. You got real problems, son. Look how beautiful he was. No disrespect, Mr. Gracie. Just complimentary. He was the greatest of all time. In his day, no one came close.

If you ask any jujitsu black belt who's the best, they all said Hickson. Now they all say Gordon Ryan, which is true of today, but Gordon Ryan is like the modern version of Hickson, where everybody just says he's the best. There's nobody like either one of those guys. There's nobody like Hickson and there's nobody like Gordon, where everybody says that's the best.

Who was the guy that you had on your show, and I was there and he was like a master, kind of like an older guy. And he was putting me in chokeholds and stuff. Gene LaBelle. Yeah, that dude. Judo Gene LaBelle. He passed away.

Yeah, I know. Rest in peace. He was the best. He was the best. He was such a funny guy. And he was one of the first guys that ever entered into a mixed fight, a fight with a karate guy. No, he fought a boxer. I think he did several of them.

But there's a video of him. He's wearing his judo gi, and he fights a boxer and just smothers his boxer and strangles him. But it was one of the first times that you'd ever seen a mixed martial arts fight. So he was one of the first mixed combat sports athletes. And so he has this fight with a guy, and he wears a judo gi. He was a legitimate national champion in judo. Gene LaBelle was the fucking man.

So this is like 63, and he made the boxer wear a judo gi, which is hilarious. But it looks like the boxer has little tiny gloves on too. It looks like he's got kind of MMA gloves. Milo Savage, that's the guy he fought. And the guy was a serious boxer too. You could tell just by, no, don't go too far. I didn't do anything.

He just did that? Yeah. Oh, that's cheap. So it just shows Gene on top of him. It doesn't show the takedown in this particular video that we're watching. But Gene cornered him. He cornered him and grabbed him, got a hold of him. But you see the way this guy boxes.

He's got some serious punches. You can tell even by the way he's moving. That's a real boxer. But he made him wear that fucking gi, man. If you make him wear that kimono top, even if the guy is trying to punch Gene LaBelle, Gene is never letting go of that top. He drags him to the ground, gets on top of him.

I think he choked him unconscious with his own gi. I think that's what he did. I don't really totally remember. But look how good... The guy keeps getting up, man. He got up a couple of times. So Milo Savage was a bad man. It wasn't like he was fighting some chump.

He was just fighting a guy who... It doesn't show it, huh? So it looks to me like he got him in an Ezekiel choke, which is a choke where you use the collar of your shirt. It looks like that's what he's doing. No, right here he's just pinning him. So there's the choke. So, okay, I'm looking at it right now.

Hard to say. Probably some kind of a gi choke. Some type of gi choke. This is like an Ezekiel is you grab your collar like this here. You grab your own collar and then you put this across the person's face, across their neck rather. And you strangle them with

the gi. So maybe he did that. But he was one of the first. And he was a stuntman and he was the guy that allegedly choked out Steven Seagal on a set. Made him go to the bathroom. That's right.

He explained it on the podcast. It was a hilarious explanation. That was a good podcast, too. He's the best. He almost killed me. He also is a guy that taught Bruce Lee. When Bruce Lee met him, he really didn't understand grappling like that, like that kind of super high-level judo.

And I think in that movie once upon a time in hollywood the brad pitt character is supposed to represent in some way shape or form a guy like gene labelle a guy who's like a real bad motherfucker who is working with bruce lee on a movie set but in reality they collaborated in reality like gene labelle taught him some judo but he did pick him up at one point in time and like carry him around. Just to let him know like, hey, buddy, in the real world, I'm fucking Gene LaBelle and you weigh 135 pounds. Yeah. But he taught him stuff.

That's why I believe it's Game of Death, the one when they're fighting. I think it's Game of Death. He catches this guy that he's fighting with in an armbar. of death he catches this guy that he's fighting with in an armbar it was like one of the first times and he was when he was wearing those jeet kune do gloves which look a lot like modern mma gloves they were like a little bit more puffy but that was like the first version of an mma glove and he wins this fight with grappling which i guarantee had june labelle had an influence on that because bruce lee was so fucking smart man. I said it was Enter the Dragon. Enter the Dragon, that's right, sorry.

See those gloves? Look at those gloves. So he's fighting this guy, cracks him, ducks under the kick, takes him down, throws him to the ground. I mean, you've got to understand that back then, you might look at this today and see this kind of silly, back then this was the shit. Because Bruce Lee was, look at that kick. He was a legit martial artist, like really good, and also a giant movie star, and also a guy who was open-minded enough

to incorporate all the arts into what he called Jeet Kune Do. So he was like the first guy that figured out, look, he's throwing fucking takedowns and Aikido and Judo and everything. He threw it all in together. He's throwing this guy to the ground. He gets him in a fucking crucifix from the back and gets him in an arm bar and makes the dude tap. He's tapping. First time we ever see a tap.

That's true. It's here in Enter the Dragon. And then they bow afterwards. This is literally like an example for everybody to see of the first mixed martial arts fight. And it was Bruce Lee. Because Bruce Lee, back then, even when I was training in Taekwondo, when I would go to Muay Thai gyms, my instructor did not like it. They did not like it.

When I would go to boxing gyms, they're like, you can learn that here. Everybody wanted you to just learn Taekwondo. They opened their mind up to it a little bit. like it they did not like it when i would go to boxing gyms like you can learn that here everybody wanted you to just learn taekwondo they opened their up their mind up to it a little bit at certain points in time like certain students that we had that also boxed i could go train with them in other places but when i started kickboxing was a giant wake-up call because i realized like wow there's stuff that's better than taekwondo for like an overall taekwondo is the best for like wild kicks like wild kicks like side kicks and front kicks and wheel kicks and turning back kicks and shit like that but

boxing is way better for your hands like those guys are way better at it and then you get kicked in the legs and you're like oh boy i need to learn that how do you kick well there's an art to that and then you learn takedowns you're like oh jesus i'm helpless when i'm on my back oh jesus you learn jujitsu you're like i thought, oh, Jesus, I'm helpless when I'm on my back. Oh, Jesus. You learn jiu-jitsu. You're like, oh, I thought I was a badass. I'm just a victim. Someone could just maul you. But Bruce Lee, he opened that door for everybody. Because back then,

especially before the UFC, martial arts were very, like, everybody stayed in their tribe. The judo guys thought judo was the best. The kickboxer guys thought kickboxing was the best. Everybody had their own mindset on judo was the best the kickboxer guys thought kickboxing was the best like everybody had their own mindset on what style was the best Bruce Lee started it all off bro and judo gene the bell was a guy that taught

him grappling look at that it's got a head and arm choke sort of I like the faces he always kind of yeah this is kind of a head and arm choke. Yeah. Is that with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? Look at this. He's got, this dude has got him in an arm bar, and what movie was that? Huh. Interesting.

He's got his thumb the wrong way. What is it? Bruce Lee. Look at this. Come on. Robert Baker. Oh, he sidekicks him in the face, then he pulls his hair, and fucking karate chops him in the neck for the death.

Crazy. Back then, man, everybody wanted to learn karate. When they saw that Bruce Lee movie, everybody wanted to learn kung fu. Dudes started walking around with kung fu outfits on. Guys would go to school with kung fu outfits on back then. He also probably helped out the asians uh community stevie told me that yeah yeah stevie oki said when he was a kid like fine he was like

finally there's an asian hero right who is like the baddest motherfucker on earth was an asian it was nice and still considered one of the baddest motherfuckers you got picked for what he's going on the moon. Oh, he is? Fuck that. Not going to land on it, but they're going to orbit it. But they're going to put him in a VR chamber. You're on the moon. Speaking of that, they've just released all those documents, JFK documents.

Anything come out of that? Did something come out of it? Oh. One thing that come out was they were saying that Lee Harvey Oswald was a Russian asset and that he had been honeypotted by his wife. And he lived in Russia in the 1950s. And they think that in this, I think what Russia is trying to say in this is that they were responsible for making Lee Harvey Oswald try to kill the president. There was so much shit going on with that story. For anybody that thinks in 2022 that you know what happened in 1963, you're crazy. What does it say?

What does Tucker Carlson say? What does he say? They spoke with someone who's... Well, let's play it so we can hear his voice. It's seven minutes long. It's long. Oh. I don't think we can play it.

Just let me hear a little bit of it. He's setting it up. He murders the President of the United States. That's good. And then, less than 48 hours later, that lone gunman is himself murdered by another lone gunman. What are the odds of that? It's one thing if you get struck by lightning, rare but possible.

But if every member of your family also gets struck by lightning, all on different days, you might begin to suspect these are not entirely natural events. But, oh, replied the U.S. government, they are. SAYS THEY ARE NOT ENTIRELY NATURAL. THEY ARE NOT. THEY BEGIN TO SUSPECT THESE ARE NOT ENTIRELY NATURAL EVENTS. BUT OH, REPLIED THE U.S. GOVERNMENT, THEY ARE. THIS BIZARRE CHAIN OF KILLINGS

WAS ALL ENTIRELY NATURAL. SO LESS THAN A YEAR AFTER THE JFK ASSASSINATION, THE JOHNSON WHITE HOUSE RELEASED SOMETHING CALLED THE WARREN COMMISSION REPORT. AND THE REPORT CONCLUDED THAT WHILE THEIR MOTIVES REMAINED

UNCLEAR, BOTH LEE OSWALD AND JACK RUBY HAD ACTED ALONE. NO ONE HELPED THEM. clear, both Lee Oswald and Jack Ruby had acted alone. No one helped them. There was no conspiracy of any kind. Case closed. Time to move on. And many Americans did move on. At the time, they had no idea how shoddy and corrupt the Warren Commission was. It would be nearly 50 years before the CIA admitted under duress that, in fact, it had withheld information from investigators about its relationship with Lee Harvey Oswald. But even then, at the time before that was known, IT HAD WITHHELD INFORMATION FROM INVESTIGATORS ABOUT ITS RELATIONSHIP WITH LEE HARVEY OSWALD. BUT EVEN THEN AT THE TIME, BEFORE THAT WAS KNOWN, THE GOVERNMENT'S EXPLANATION DIDN'T SEEM ENTIRELY PLAUSIBLE AND SOME PEOPLE STARTED ASKING OBVIOUS QUESTIONS ABOUT IT. IT WAS AT THAT POINT, AS AMERICANS STARTED TO DOUBT THE OFFICIAL STORY, THAT THE TERM CONSPIRACY THEORY ENTERED OUR

LEXICON. AS PROFESSOR LANSDA HAVEN SMITH POINTS OUT IN HIS BOOK ON THE SUBJECT, THE TERM CONSPIRACY THEORY ENTERED OUR LEXICON. AS PROFESSOR LANCETTA HAVEN SMITH POINTS OUT IN HIS BOOK ON THE SUBJECT, THE TERM CONSPIRACY THEORY DID NOT EXIST AS A PHRASE IN EVERYDAY AMERICAN CONVERSATION BEFORE 1964. IN 1964, THE YEAR THE WARREN COMMISSION ISSUED ITS REPORT, THE NEW YORK TIMES PUBLISHED FIVE STORIES IN WHICH CONSPIRACY THEORY APPEARED. NOW TODAY OF COURSE THE TERM CONSPIRACY THEORY APPEARS IN PRETTY MUCH EVERY NEW YORK TIMES STORY ABOUT AMERICAN POLITICS. IT'S WHEELDED, NOW AS THEN, AS A

WEAPON AGAINST ANYONE WHO ASKS QUESTIONS THE GOVERNMENT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE ANSWERING. BUT DESPITE 60 YEARS OF NAME CALLING, THOSE QUESTIONS HAVE NOT DISAPPEARED. IN FACT, THEY HAVE MULTIPLIED WITH TIME.

AND HERE'S ONE OF THEM. IN APRIL OF 1964, A PSYCHIATRIST CALLED LOUIS JOYLEN WEST VISITED JACK RUBY IN HIS ISOLATION CELL And here's one of them. In April of 1964, a psychiatrist called Louis Joylin West visited Jack Ruby in his isolation cell in his Dallas jail. According to West's written assessment, he found that Jack Ruby was, quote, "...technically insane and in need of immediate

psychiatric hospitalization." Those are conclusions that, puzzlingly, no one who had spoken to Jack Ruby previously had reached. Ruby had seemed perfectly sane to the people who knew him. Louis Joylin West pronounced him crazy. THOSE ARE CONCLUSIONS THAT PUZZLINGLY NO ONE WHO HAD SPOKEN TO JACK RUBY PREVIOUSLY HAD REACHED. RUBY HAD SEEMED PERFECTLY SANE TO THE PEOPLE WHO KNEW HIM. LOUIS JOYLEN WEST PRONOUNCED HIM CRAZY. BUT WHAT WEST DID NOT SAY WAS THAT HE WAS WORKING FOR THE CIA AT THE TIME. LOUIS JOYLEN WEST WAS A CONTRACT PSYCHIATRIST FOR THE SPY AGENCY. HE WAS ALSO AN EXPERT ON MIND CONTROL AND A PROMINENT PLAYER IN THE NOW INFAMOUS MK

ULTRA PROGRAM IN WHICH THE CIA GAVE POWERFUL PSYCHIATRIC DRUGS TO AMERICANS WITHOUT THEIR KNOWLEDGE. SO OF ALL THE PSYCHIATRISTS IN THE WORLD, WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS THIS GUY DOING IN JACK RUBY'S PRISON CELL? THE MEDIA DID NOT SEEM INTERESTED IN FINDING OUT. IN FACT, THE NEW YORK TIMES, IN AN EXTENSIVE 1999 OBITUARY OF WEST, NEVER MENTIONED THE FACT THAT HE HAD WORKED FOR THE CIA, MUCH LESS HIS TIME IN JACK RUBY'S CELL, WHICH SEEMS RELEVANT. SO YOU CAN SEE WHY NON-CRAZY PEOPLE WOULD WONDER ABOUT WHAT REALLY HAPPENED, AND OF COURSE MANY HAVE WONDERED. IN 1976, LONG FORGOTTEN, THE HOUSE REPRESENTATIVES IMPANELLED A SPECIAL COMMITTEE TO REINVESTIGATE THE J.F.K. ASSASSINATION WAS A CONSPIRACY.

IN 1976, LONG FORGOTTEN, THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES IMPANELLED A SPECIAL COMMITTEE TO REINVESTIGATE THE J.F.K. ASSASSINATION. THEIR BIPARTISAN CONCLUSION? JACK KENNEDY WAS ALMOST CERTAINLY MURDERED AS THE

RESULT OF A CONSPIRACY. BUT THE QUESTION IS, A CONSPIRACY BY WHOM? WELL, THE OBVIOUS SUSPECT WOULD BE THE CIA. WHY ELSE WOULD THE AGENCY WITHHOLD CRITICAL EVIDENCE FOR INVESTIGATORS? Why else would the agency withhold critical evidence from investigators? Is there a benign explanation for that? For maintaining this level of secrecy for this many years? Not that we're aware of.

And it is illegal. In 1992, Congress passed the President John F. Kennedy Assassination Records Collection Act. That act mandated full disclosure of all documents by 2017, 54 years after JFK was killed. THE LAST ADMINISTRATION PROMISED TO COMPLY FULLY WITH THAT LAW, BUT UNDER INTENSE PRESSURE FROM CIA DIRECTOR MIKE POMPEO, WITHHELD IN THE END THOUSANDS OF PAGES OF CIA DOCUMENTS. TODAY, THIS AFTERNOON, THE BIDEN

ADMINISTRATION DID EXACTLY THE SAME THING. THAT WOULD BE THOUSANDS OF PAGES OF DOCUMENTS AFTER NEARLY 60 YEARS. AFTER THE DEATH OF ALL OF THE CITIZENS, THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION DID EXACTLY THE SAME THING. THAT WOULD BE THOUSANDS OF PAGES OF DOCUMENTS AFTER NEARLY 60

YEARS. AFTER THE DEATH OF EVERY SINGLE PERSON INVOLVED. BUT WE STILL CAN'T SEE THEM. CLEARLY IT'S NOT TO PROTECT ANY PERSON, THEY'RE ALL DEAD. IT'S TO PROTECT AN INSTITUTION. BUT WHY?

WELL, TODAY WE DECIDED TO FIND OUT. WE SPOKE TO SOMEONE WHO HAD ACCESS TO THESE STILL HIDDEN CIA DOCUMENTS. IN THE CITY OF NEW YORK. THE CITY OF NEW YORK IS A CITIZEN INSTITUTION. BUT WHY? WELL, TODAY WE DECIDED TO FIND OUT. WE SPOKE TO SOMEONE WHO HAD ACCESS TO THESE STILL HIDDEN CIA DOCUMENTS.

THE PERSON WAS DEEPLY FAMILIAR WITH WHAT THEY CONTAIN. WE ASKED THIS PERSON DIRECTLY, DID THE CIA HAVE A HAND IN THE MURDER OF JOHN F. KENNEDY, AN AMERICAN PRESIDENT? AND HERE'S THE REPLY WE RECEIVED VERBATIM.

QUOTE, THE ANSWER IS YES. I BELIEVE THEY WERE INVOLVED. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA.

THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA.

THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. THE CRIMEA. knowledge of the information that once again is being withheld from the American public and the answer we received was unequivocal yes the CIA was involved in the assassination of the president Wow Bro. Bro.

Wow. Jesus Christ. Christ. 97% of the documents they said have now been released. I think as of yesterday or something and people are starting to look through those. They don't expect to find anything in those because there's still

thousands of documents. I would definitely not let people read the ones that would be looking bad. That's the only explanation. Why can't we read them? They must be bad. They can't be good. Well, they say a lot of great things about the CIA, and we're pretty humble.

That's going to cause chaos. That's why. The whole place, the country's going to fucking riot. How will they ever find out? If they're able to keep shit from us, how will they ever find out? Even though there's been laws passed and, you know, rulings that they're supposed to release it in 2017 like but but why not like what are you doing what's happening and they don't have to explain that's what's crazy it's like imagine if you were being

investigated by the police and uh they said hey brian why do you have two million dollars in cash and 100 pounds of cocaine and you're like I can't let you know about that. That stuff, I keep that from you. So you can look into my bank account. Most of that money is from gifts. People give me gifts. I'm real friendly. What?

Someone said you definitely sold coke. No. I mean, someone is saying they definitely were involved in the killing. And the CIA is like, we don't have anything to say. I'm surprised Trump didn't take that out. You know what I mean? And show everybody. It seems like something he would do.

You ever heard Putin talk about American presidents? Very interesting. He has this conversation where they're talking about Trump. I believe it was while Trump was running for office. And he was essentially saying, Trump is a smart guy, but all these ideas that he has, they'll never work. He said, I've sat through two different presidents. He's like, this is what happens. I think he said three presidents.

He goes, this is what happens. You have all these ideas, and then these men with the dark suits show up, and they tell you how the country's run. Like, see if you can find that video, because it's very interesting, because it's Putin explaining why no one ever falls through on their promises. No one does. Everyone running for office, they have all these grand ideas. I'm going to let all the potheads out of jail, I'm going to make this legal. What happened to that?

Well, there was no one in jail for possession. The idea that people were in jail, federal prison, rather, excuse me, there's no one in prison for possession. The idea that people were going to be released from federal prison with marijuana possession charges. There's no one in federal prison with marijuana possession charges. The people no one in federal prison with marijuana possession charges. The people in jail are all in for distribution and growing, and they're in there for money laundering. They're drug dealers. The people that are in federal prison, it's because marijuana is illegal. They shouldn't be in jail, for sure.

But they're not in jail or in prison because they had possession. They were selling it. Even people that are in federal prison or state prisons like that, they should be released. This fucking, you know, this Brittany Griner thing, people are not making enough about how many people

are in jail for marijuana in this country. It's great that they got her out. It's not great that they had to give up a fucking horrible arms dealer to get her out. It's not great that we left behind that Marine, but it's great that they got her out. It's not great that they had to give up a fucking horrible arms dealer to get her out. It's not great that we left behind that Marine. But it's great that they got her out. She shouldn't be in jail for weed. Everybody agrees to that.

But why are these people in our country in jail? There's thousands, thousands of people in jail for marijuana-related charges. Remember Tommy Chong? How silly is that? All he did was sell bongs. But they were going to imprison his family. And he had to step up. And he's a real man.

And he did step up. He just had to go to jail. And then he couldn't smoke weed for a long time after that, too. And now it's legal in California. Now you can buy a bong on Amazon. I think the bongs are being sold in other states, though. I think it was one of them deals where they was like they were selling them in Florida or something. Crossing the line or crossing the border.

Right. Which you can't do. You've got to make people fly out to California and get them. Yeah. What does it say? Yeah, here. It says, play this. Yeah, yeah.

I'll read it. He says, you know, I've communicated with one U.S. president, with the second, the third. Presidents come and go, but the politics remain the same. Do you know why that is? Because the bureaucracy has a lot of power. So a person is elected. He comes with his ideas. Then the people with the briefcases come to visit him, well-dressed in dark suits, kind of like mine, except instead of a red or a black, a red tie is a black

or a navy. And then they explain what to do. And the whole rhetoric changes, you see. This happens from one administration to the next. And he's right. And that's probably what it is. You know? And that's why there's thousands of documents that can't be released. Because we gotta

pretend. That's why they're gonna run Biden again in 2024. Fucking wheel him out there.'re going to make them win we're going to make trump look like such a piece of shit maybe someone from the cia convinced trump to sell those nfts mr trump what i think you should do is say you're the greatest president ever better than lincoln better than washington you think should i say that yeah go say it go say it. Go say it. Like, if there was somebody on his team that was like a CIA mole, like someone who had, like, got his trust, sort of like one of them CIA ladies that marries a drug dealer, you know, like sneaks in with the cartel or something like that. They could do that. They could talk. He's, like, if you just stroked his ego the right way, maybe that's what they did to get him to sell these NFTs.

He also made a shitload of money oh yeah that was at 5 000 of them each one 100 bucks or five million four or five million bucks with donald trump nfts that yeah here's a jpeg that'll pay for the maintenance on that giant plane in his for one year yeah yeah that guy needs a lot of money to keep that party rolling. That whole thing he's doing and the fact that he's going to run again. And the fact that Biden's going to run against him. I mean, can you imagine if the roles were reversed? Could you imagine if Trump was like almost senile? Like, or senile. Just clearly showing signs of decline

his son leaves a laptop in a Maryland repair shop that's filled with crazy emails that implicate Trump that he's getting foot jobs and doing crack with street hookers in Vietnam like wild shit on that laptop and then they managed to hide it from Twitter. They get Twitter to remove the links, get everybody to hide the story. Say it's Russian disinformation. All the federal agencies, we believe this is all the hallmarks of Russian disinformation. But it turns out to be real. And then he wants to run again. People would be in the streets.

They would be rioting. But because it's not him, the more outrageous he acts, the more it strengthens the resolve of people who are like anybody but Trump. And so they're willing to forgive anything that Biden has said, any lie he's told, any bullshit thing that he says that doesn't make any sense.

Let him talk. He'll say things on Twitter. They fact check it. No one cares. No one cares. They're still better than Trump. Better than Trump. It's wild. It's wild, dude.

That's why I'm voting Kanye. He's got a shot now. He didn't have a shot before, but now he's got a shot. What the fuck? How crazy. He asked Trump to be his vice president. That is so ridiculous. That's so Kanye. That is so Kanye. That's such a Kanye move. You want to be his vice president. That is so ridiculous. That's so Kanye.

That is so Kanye. That's such a Kanye move. You know, you want to be my vice president? Imagine if Trump said yes. Can you imagine Trump and Kanye just hanging out on the campaign trail? God. That would have worked. Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be a great vice president, but I don't want to be a president. I'd be the best. If I wanted to be a president, I'll be a great Vice president But I don't want To be a president

I'd be the best If I wanted to be a president I'd be the best president The events would be interesting Oh they would be incredible Crazy They'd be incredible Trump walking out

On those giant stages That Kanye makes The CIA needs to Talk him into that Bring Kanye back Bring him back Bring him back Hear that shit

He said about Chappelle That he gets all his jokes. It's so ridiculous. Yeah. He doesn't handle being in this situation very well. It's a fucked up situation, man. How does one bounce back from all the things that he said? Did you watch the whole Alex Jones interview?

No. No, but when Alex is the voice of reason. It's so insane. Actually, the Nazis were bad guys. Hitler was a bad guy. Kanye's like, I love Hitler. He's like, what? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You don't mean that. You don't mean that. We'll be right back. Those two together, I never thought I would ever see the day, but there's something magic about those two when Kanye was wearing a mask over his whole face yeah

like he's fucking inkblot in the Watchmen yeah or Warsaw what is it Rorschach Rorschach

Rorschach mmhmm fuck I was the shit the Watchmen's a great movie I watched that again recently on a plane flight I was like I forgot how good that movie is

the Watchmen yeah it's a superhero movie but they're not heroic like some of them are really bad guys and it's almost like soldiers that have seen too much war and violence and just willing to shoot people and it's the old dc comic right is it the same one is the watchman a dc comic i thought it was a d i remember yes comic right is it the same one is the watchman a dc comic i thought it was a yes i remember yes it was was the original comic is dark and bleak yeah it was pretty bad i used to i remember wasn't it the one that had like a happy face with a blood yeah yeah yeah it was dark that was the he called they called him the comedian yeah that was uh was... Dr. Manhattan was the shit, too. Remember you get to see Dr. Manhattan's dong?

I was on Ellen as Mr. Manhattan. Did you watch the TV show at all? Or just the movie? I didn't watch the TV show. I watched one episode, but my problem was Dr. Manhattan was a regular guy. Dr. Manhattan was supposed to dematerialize and disappear from Earth,

and then he would run through the hallways as a ghost in the movie and then he came back and like reformulated as dr manhattan who's basically a god and he would like have sex with his girlfriend but he would make like multiple copies of them that would be constantly doing work while the one copy of him is having sex with her and she got all bummed out. I never, it was a great movie, man. I don't think I ever saw it,

but see, look at the regular guy from the show. Right? I mean, he's so the TV show right there. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

he's, he's just not built right. Like Dr. Manhattan is supposed to be like, like the perfect Greek God sculpted out of granite and glows and he's a god he's not a human with a t-shirt on like that guy go to the guy with a t-shirt on yeah yeah that looks stupid you can't do that you can't do that you can't make him a regular guy yeah you can't make him just a regular human I mean he has to be glowing and he can't

wear t-shirts and he's also supposed to be super jacked Like the real one was like that's like making the Hulk like a regular guy You had the Hulk like guys are bigger in real life than that guy in that t-shirt. It was just like dr Manhattan but dr. Manhattan looks like a bodybuilder I mean he's like the perfect specimen of humanity and a god you think you can appear on other planets and build castles and shit in the sky and You can't You can't break the sky and you can't have him just like a regular dude yeah you can't break the rules that dude doesn't eat raw meat that guy

needs to do some squats he needs to go to iron paradise with the rock like if you had like okay so if you had someone like the rock play doctor manhattan okay i buy that because that that's what he's built like he's literally built like a superhero but you can't have like a regular guy you know come on man you uh see what's his face uh that actor zach uh efron zach efron have you seen his body lately oh he's becoming a pro wrestler right for a movie yeah who's he playing is he playing a real pro wrestler or yeah it's uh the family i don't know which particular one but there's a family of guys from Texas who are all really famous wrestlers, and he's like one of them. What's the names?

I don't, I'm not deep in the wrestling. Wish Tony was here. Yeah, he would know instantly. Instantly. Look at him now. Jesus, he's jacked. And if you look at a picture of the guy he's playing, he looks almost exactly the Von Erichs. Oh, the Von Erichs.

Of course. Of course. Yeah, they're a famous family of wrestlers. Zac Efron's pretty crazy because when he did Baywatch. Pretty close, right? Look at that. When he did Baywatch, he got really jacked up for Baywatch. And he said he almost died and he would never do that again.

But this is a different kind of jacked. I think back then he got dehydrated. Yeah. Like a lot of those guys when they do movies, the thing about being really ripped, like look how jacked he is. Jesus Christ, the hair's perfect. He looks awesome. Yeah, he looks great.

Totally natural, by the way. Definitely. For sure. Yeah, definitely not on, he's just eating raw liver. But the, like to be a guy who's built like that, like for a film, like that's a serious fucking commitment.

That's a lot of work he looks great he looks like the guy but now if you wanted to be like super ripped like that guy's just jacked right but if you want to be super ripped like uh say like um who said they did it and they got real sick was it chris helmsworth or he would you have to you have to literally dry yourself out because you dehydrate yourself so you look really ripped. When those guys are stepping on the scale like a bodybuilding competition,

they're super dehydrated. They can't wait to get water inside of them. That's why they look so shredded. He was shredded. It's insane. He probably got super dehydrated there. It's crazy. Look at that one with him doing a chin up that one that you just passed i thought it was i thought it was in the way look at that way it

goes looks good yeah people get mad he's cheating he did this and he did look but he really looks like that that's not c CGI. Right. You know? Yeah, people forget about all those Hollywood people. What's that one comedian who's all jacked now? Camille? Yeah. Yeah. Because he was like an alt guy.

Mm-hmm. You know, it's like, hey, you're becoming one of the bad people. Can you imagine if, like, Zach Galifianakis or something like that just becomes super ripped? Guys have done it. Ethan Suplee. Ethan was grossly overweight, and now he's super jacked. He's built a brick shithouse now. He's a fucking tank, that guy. And he's super dedicated.

He made an Instagram post about he brings his food with him on airplanes. So he only eats clean all the time now. Tom's looking amazing, man. I saw him the other day. Look at Ethan. That's crazy. That's insane. Crazy. So he went from being a guy who's like really, really overweight to a guy who's fucking ripped. He doesn't even look like the same person.

Yeah, no. Look at him in that one. Look at him in that one where he's like really, really, really overweight. That's insane. Incredible. And you know, he had to get, skin cut off, all the extra skin, and he actually blew through it and had to get that a second time because he gained weight again and then lost it finally. So he did.

He gained, like, I think he said, what did he say, like 100 pounds at one point in time? So he lost all this weight, got real thin, had the skin removed, and then gained weight back. Jesus. It's a hard thing, man. It's a rollercoaster ride for people that have a problem with food. He's got 300 pounds. Jesus.

So he wants to weigh at about 550. Jesus. That's so big. But kudos to him. The beautiful thing about someone like him is he did it publicly, and he shows that it can be done. So someone was also thinking about that.'re like look at that guy can do it I can do it it's doable it's not easy but it's doable like that's many years

of work many many and you know you're not gonna see progress immediately that's what's hard for people if you could work really hard you look great the next day everybody would do it you know all you do is like one hard workout the next day you look awesome at a party. Just one time. Everybody would do it. But it just takes years and years and years of eating fucking carrots

and a piece of tilapia. Did you hear about that new magic drug, weight loss drug? Yeah, we talked about it before. Semiglutide. That's a lot of people are on it, including the Musk Man. Oh, yeah? Yeah, we talked about it before. Semiglutide. A lot of people are on it, including the Musk man. He's on it. He posted about it.

He posted he's getting ripped. It makes you have less of an appetite, apparently. It might also help you burn fat better. But a big part of it is it affects your appetite. You get full quicker yeah I guess they're trying to throw it through the FDA as fast as possible right cuz it works so well like that no hmm what do

you think about that I think it's great magic finally a magic diet pill hell yeah I'll get all in projections huh is all in? Injections. Huh? Is it? Yeah. How many? Like once a day? What are we doing? This one is not that bad. This one is like once a week maybe. There's another one that works just as well supposedly, but that's a lot more fluid and it's like three, four times a week. How about you do it every day?

Fuck it. Let's go. Let's go. Jack by Summer, the Brian Red Band story. We talked before about you and david lucas doing like a weight loss challenge the problem is especially you just telling me that you don't work out and i don't know if david works i think david does work out but probably not too rigorously i don't want anybody dying you know i'm like you can't have a contest where guys try to get

healthy the quickest because that's not healthy. Right. It's actually not healthy. They'll starve yourself and work out like a demon and try to win some money. Right. And I would definitely, you know, I would definitely, you know, try to, I would want to beat Dave, so I would go crazy. I'd be eating celery. And we were going to put a lot of money on the line.

But I started thinking about it one day when I was high, and I was like, ooh, what if someone dies? Or what if – and also it would just be like David could just – you know, he will lose like 100 pounds a week. You know? Yeah, it's like he's bigger than you too, so we couldn't make it like who weighs the less. Right, it would have to be percentages and stuff. Who loses the most. It would have to be percentages and stuff. Who loses the most.

Because when Bert and Tom did that weight loss challenge, they dehydrated the shit out of them. Look at David Lucas. Core strength is very important. He's got core strength, ladies and gentlemen. He's pushing that thing towards his dick. And he's looking at you. It's a great stare.

He's a funny motherfucker. When him and Tony go back and forth with each other, that's all he's eating? Do you remember him and Tony wrestling? Yeah. Tony fucked him up. You can't just eat a brownie and say, I'm eating light. I don't think he did.

I was kidding. I was kidding about that. That wasn't his food? No, it was. He said that's what got brought out for dessert. Oh, he was upset. Give me 30 of those. I worked out hard today.

It's hard, man. Once you you're big it's hard i've never gotten big but i've gotten bigger i get like a little fat when i when i drink too much and then i eat too much pasta i'll go like a few weeks when then i and i do this i was like ew or i'd catch myself in the mirror my my fucking stomach is hanging out but But I bounce back quick. As long as I just train smart where I'm working out and really, like, getting after it every day and making sure I don't eat stupid shit, my body bounces back quick. The problem is when you let that happen. Like, if I got fat for, like, a month and then it was the second month, the next thing you know, I'm 30 pounds overweight. Not 8 pounds overweight, but 30 pounds overweight. Like, yo.

That's when it gets rough, you know know and then you get into this habit i like getting up in the morning and eating pastries do you no no i do though i do while i'm eating them fuck yeah everybody does that's why they're so hard to not eat if you could have like chocolate croissants every day the best ones with like the gooey chocolate inside of them, nothing? No, I don't like stuff like that. What about Krispy Kreme? Hot. Hot. Right from the oven? I mean, that's okay. Don't lie. I'd rather be ice cream. If you and I were coming

home from a gig and we were in the car and I'm like, Brian, the hot sign is on. Joe, what are you talking about? You know the hot sign with Krispy Kreme? If you don't know Krispy Kreme, folks, when the donuts are right out of the oven, they're the best. They're always good.

They're always delicious. But when they're right out of the oven, it's special. They're fucking warm. And they melt in your mouth. And they're sensational. Those little glazed ones, those maple glazed ones, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Bro, you can Jamie Vernon's Instagram.

I remember seeing this. I saw a red light after I had a good dinner. Look at all the fucking steam coming off of him and shit. I never had one with the light on. Bro. I've only had it like at 7-Eleven or something. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You need to catch Krispy Kreme when they get that.

You should wait for them. It's like, I'm not ready to buy yet. When's that light coming on? Yeah. I remember the line used to be insane, like a mile long in Burbank. It's drugs. They're selling drugs. Yeah. They're selling sugar.

It's a potent drug, man. I used to get them all the time. You know, if I was coming home from a gig and I was a little tired, I'd make the worst food choices. And Krispy Kreme was open pretty late. You know, You just scoot in there, get yourself some chocolate cream-filled donuts. You have so many of them, too. You don't just have one.

You don't have one like you normally would everywhere else. I would buy a dozen for my family. I'm not an asshole. I want to share it with everybody. When my family and I, when we would go to Maui, one of the first things we did when we rented a car, there's a Krispy Kreme on the way to the beach from the airport.

Like right out of the airport, like, oh. So it was like a thing we did. And every year we did it, we're like, we're not doing this again. Because we're all like, oh.

You eat three or four of those fucking things and then you feel like shit when you're at the beach. Like, oh my God, I feel terrible. I'm going through an insulin spike right now.

My body doesn't know what the fuck to do. I'm crashing hard. I was on a plane with someone, brought the suitcase of White Castle burgers with them. Carry on. Like, all right, that's a bit. I had White Castle a couple, or like a month ago in Vegas. Man, that shit's so good.

What percentage of that is actually meat? Well, it's very thin meat. Right. So it's not much meat, but it's meat. Are they doing it like McDonald's does, though? Doesn't McDonald's have some shenanigans going on? No. Wasn't there like some goo

remember? There's Subway. I don't want to speak out of turn but I feel like it's like the McRib had something in it. Well let's find out. There was something about the beef in McDonald's hamburgers. I forget because like there was one company that trademarked the 100% beef thing.

Did TikTokers expose how McDonald's McRib is cooked? This is true. Yeah, I think that's true. I love how they're storing and cooking it, though. I don't know if it's talking about what's in it. Yeah, but try burger. Just Google. This is what I want you to Google. I want you to Google McDonald's beef additives.

Butthole. Butthole. All together in that order. Don't just start with butthole. You fuck up the search. Every one of our McDonald's burgers is made with 100% pure beef. Right. But here's what I want you to Google. Salt, pepper, and nothing else.

Google the term. No fillers, no additives. Right. Okay, so it's all beef. Google the term, because this was the rumor, was that the term 100% pure beef was copyrighted by McDonald's. So they could say 100% pure beef. Are you talking about Taco Bell no Taco Bell definitely has some stuff in there

okay they put frisbees so this seems like one of those it was bullshit yeah there's a rumor 100% pure beef and I was like this is false oh it is false so was there any at any time did McDonald's have stuff in their beef other than

beef is that a more recent thing? It's amazing how they sell cheeseburgers and In-N-Out sells cheeseburgers. And In-N-Out takes longer to get you a cheeseburger. But you're going to go in that line. What line, Joe? I don't know what you're talking about. The In-N-Out, by me, never has a line. I get to go right to the drive-thru.

It's amazing. In California, they have a line. I know. Well, how come they don't have a line on here? You know, where I live, there's literally an In-N-Out, a Waterbury, P. Terry's. Everything is all lined up, and everyone's good to all the other places. P. Terry's

is good. Yeah, In-N-Out, though, man. In-N-Out's the shit. P. Terry's is legit. I love P. Terry's. They're legit. And they do that lettuce wrap, too. They'll give you a lettuce. The number one for me is Five Guys. Me too. You can't go wrong.

It's the best burger. Plus you can get jalapenos on it and they have milkshakes. No, they don't have milkshakes. Yeah, they do. Some of them don't. Some do, some don't. You can get bacon, jalapenos and bacon on your cheeseburger and they're the shit and they give you peanuts. Good fries. The fries are bomb digging. I and bacon on your cheeseburger. And they're the shit. And they give you peanuts.

Good fries. The fries are bomb digging. Yeah. I wish they had the cheese sauce that Shake Shack has. They'll fuck you up, though. You know another one that was really good? It's underrated. Fudruckers.

Fudruckers. Ostrich burger. Yeah. Get a rare ostrich burger at Fudruckers and put all that cheese sauce on it and fucking onions and all that stuff where have you been going to Fuddruckers at though? we used to go to the one in Burbank it closed I think Fuddruckers is out of business now

is it? oh no they should have just sold ostrich burgers we would Eddie Bravo and I would lift weights at the 24 hour fitness in Woodland Hills and then we would go to fucking Fuddruckers afterwards that was like our thing get baked as fuck go to Fuddruckers whoa yeah Fuddruckers is great talk about aliens we were 29 year old 12 year olds yeah man there's something about

those kind of burgers you know like like a fucking just a hot burger with melted cheese and like a like Phillip makes

Phillip makes amazing ones a little spicy though it kind of fucks my it fucks my my asshole up what are they called not a damn chance

yeah those are damn good. So good. Those are real good. The seasoning on those. But there's something about that. Burgers are so fucking satisfying. When you're hungry, look at that.

Look at that thing with the pickles and the melted cheese. Jesus. And that's from a Michelin star chef. I mean, that's incredible. Those are incredible. There's a lot of really good food in Austin, man. We're very lucky. Except if you're trying to beat David Lucas in a weight loss competition.

So I went to Thanksgiving at his house, you know, and him and his wife cooked. And, man, that was the second year in a row I went to his house for Thanksgiving. And you can't beat his Thanksgiving. Imagine him making Thanksgiving. It was so great. Oh my God. Yeah. Big guys know how to eat. Not David Lucas. No, I'm talking about Phillip.

Oh, I thought you said David. No, no. Oh, that's even better. Yeah, for the last two years, we've gone to Phillip's house and him and his wife. That's interesting. I was like, I didn't know David was good. Oh, well, Phillip. You went to Phillip's house for Thanksgiving? That's cheating. It was the best ever.

That's incredible. I was just with Jesse Griffiths from Dai Due, the chef at Dai Due. I was in hunting camp with him in South Texas, and he cooked every day for us. It was insane. Insane. They shot ducks, and he cooked the ducks up. He shot a pig, and they turned the pig into these Indian curries, three different Indian curries. It was sensational.

It was so good. I made videos. I'll put the videos up online later. Have you found a place out here that does foie gras? Yeah, there's places. Yeah. There's quite a few places that do it. Jay Carver's does it.

Okay. Yeah, that place is great. You ever go to that place? I haven't gone to many places. I stay up north so much. Well, you're in the fucking boonies, son. But I like where you live. It's quiet.

Tim Dillon, out where he's at, those kind of places, those are nice, man. It's just so peaceful at night. And it's like you see the stars. And those bedroom communities are sort of sleepy communities until you get a murder suicide down the block they're nice yeah until you hear bang bang like shit other than that those sleepy communities are awesome that's just like uh you're you're more in the country. You must have deer in your yard every day. Not as much deer, mostly the bobcats and weird animals like that.

We also have a lot of armadillos. I see dead armadillos everywhere. That's such a Texas animal. But I've never seen them alive. They've always just been on this side of the road. Coyotes too, a lot of coyotes.otes yeah i heard a lot of them in south texas they were howling at night that's it it's something look i don't want them near me but it's something cool about the fact they're out there this was all even wolves man imagine living in montana and hearing wolves at night

you hear about that chick that shot a husky because she said it was a wolf or something? Oh, that's awful. That's awful. Well, the thing about shooting something with a gun is you're looking at it through a rifle scope from, you know, hundreds of yards away. You could think a husky was a wolf. And if it's in wolf country, you would assume it's a wolf. That sucks. Isn't it funny that, like, they look so similar, but one of them really bums you out?

A wolf bums me out if someone shoots it, but they have to keep their populations in check. There's a reason why they eradicated wolves from the West back in the day, and it's not because they're awesome. It's the same reason why they stopped World War I so that the Russians and the Germans made a ceasefire because so many of them were getting killed by wolves. Like, wolves are rough. I mean, they're fucking amazing. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy that wolves are real. But you don't want a lot of them around.

You don't want a lot of them around where there's not a lot of food, especially not if you like your kids and you like your dog. That's where all that Little Red Riding Hood shit, the Big Bad Wolf, that was real. Back when guns weren't so good, when they wrote those stories, like you couldn't really shoot that many wolves. You really couldn't eradicate them. It wasn't easy to do. It's still not easy to do with guns. The way they do it is with poison.

The way they killed the wolves in the West was they would shoot a horse, and they would inject the horse with poison, like cyanide. They would put it in its veins and pump cyanide through the horse's body, and then the wolves would eat the carcass, and they would all die. Right. But it didn't work with the coyotes. Coyotes are too slick. They couldn't poison them.

They could poison a few here and there but then they would figure it out Because they do the roll call and then the females would have more pups and then they would spread their their their branches out They would move to different parts of the state and they just kept expanding So the more they tried to kill wolves off the more they made more coyotes Wow Yeah, and also the wolves would chase the coyotes away from the dead horses. They wouldn't let them eat it So the wolves would just gorge on it from the dead horses. They wouldn't let them eat it. So the wolves would just gorge on it, fucking tear it apart, and then they would all croak. Hmm.

Isn't that wild? And then in the 1990s, they're like, oh, we made a mistake. We're going to bring wolves back. So they dropped them off in Yellowstone, and they just fucking decimated all those poor animals that didn't know what a wolf was. Imagine there's no wolves. You're an elk having a great time. People like to take selfies with you. That's fine.

There was no selfies back then, but, you know, photos, whatever. And then, you know, all of a sudden there's wolves. The cleanup crew. You ever seen this picture? This guy riding an elk. Whoa. Missoula, Montana, 1910. Wow.

He put a fucking saddle on an elk. Santa Claus. That's crazy. Imagine if that thing just decides to fucking swing its head and stab him in the neck. Look at the antlers on that fucker. This guy's riding a moose. That's nuts. Is that a painting?

No, it's just an old picture. A shitty old painting? Or a shitty old photograph, rather? That is wild, man. That dude's riding a moose. That's not, that's a... That's a moose. That doesn't look real. That's Canadian.

No, no, no, that's a cow moose. No, no, no, I know, but... Doesn't look real? Doesn't look like a real photo. Looks real to me, but I'm gullible. The lighting's... They already got me with that father-son thing. The lighting just seems off on this as well.

Does it? Yeah. I don't know. It does seem weird. It seems it could be real. I'm not going full fake, but just that something seems off on this as well. Does it? Yeah. I don't know. It does seem weird. It seems it could be real. I'm not going full fake, but just that something seems off about it. I think you're right about the face of the moose looks a little sketch. He doesn't seem to fit in the lighting on the trees.

Is it matching what's on him and the moose and stuff? Yeah, it seems like it got cut and pasted onto a different background. I've seen better Photoshop jobs. Yeah. Really? Yeah. It's ungoable. That's what makes a good Photoshop.

Most of that blending is like that's what tricks everyone. Yeah. You're really. It's un-callable. That's what makes a good Photoshop. Most of that blending is like that's what tricks everyone. Yeah. You're really good at it or you're not. You want to throw that through a filter and see what we find? Do it like they did with Obama's birth certificate. Look at that one. Holy shit. Wow.

That looks real. What is that elk riding? Okay. See, that looks fake to me. That looks fake. The difference between her blanket and the elk's body. You're not wrong. It does look kind of fake. That looks fake. That difference between her blanket and the elk's body. You're not wrong. It does look kind of fake.

That looks fake. That looks really fake. Yeah, it looks really fake. Like all the difference between her blanket and that elk's body looks fake to me. Yeah, there's no shadow. Yeah, it looks like something on the screen. Also, go back to that one again. Go back to that one again.

That one looks real. Stuck. Oh. They've changed something on how these pictures work. Yeah, it's so annoying. Control it the same way it used to. Scroll down and see if you can find it. So here's the other problem with this. She's not in any control of that elk.

Right. She's just holding onto the saddle. Yeah. Okay, that's fake for sure. Yeah, it's a shadow. How'd she even? It's just blending in there. Yeah, it's just a fake green screen.

Yeah, it looks fake. Strike that. But I guarantee you someone's ridden a fucking elk. I guarantee you there's been a dude who put a fucking saddle on everything. They probably would try to ride polar bears. People are assholes. They probably try. I mean, look, Santa's reindeer.

I mean, they had reindeers pulling sleds. Did you see the video of the guy smoking a cigarette riding the bull? No. Oh, shit. All right. Now, this pretty sure is real. They're like, this is the greatest sporting achievement of all time. He's smoking while he's riding a bull?

He's got like a cast on one arm, too, and he's just squeezing it with his legs. It looks so real it could be fake, too. It's like it's so crazy of a thing. Hold on. Thank God for stupidity. Is the bull the same as a longhorn? Or is that something different? It's a different kind of, oh, wow, that looks real as fuck, dude.

The guy's got a cast on his arm. It's the part of the bull part. He doesn't go off. He's on the bull. He's on it for a whole time. He rides it until it's tired. No, he's not even holding on. He's just going with it while he's smoking a cigarette.

That looks real as fuck, dude. He's just a bad man. And that's not like the best bull at kicking people off. That bull seems like he's been tranquilized. Oh, he almost lost it. He almost gets knocked off. He gets back on. Well, he's got his stirrups are tied in real tight, obviously.

Is that what it is? His feet are being held in? His feet are held in real tight and the bull just gave up. He's like, fuck it. Nope, one more job. I'm going to shake this dude off me. He doesn't like it. Wait, hold on. No, see, his feet aren't tied in. But they probably undid it there.

He would die if that happened, though. Let's see. You're right. You're right. It looks like he's just pinching with his legs. You just got to squeeze. Oh, my God. Imagine that guy's guard.

He's probably the best jiu-jitsu guard of all time. He'd probably capture you. You're fucked. That's crazy the best jiu-jitsu guard of all time. He'd probably capture you. You're fucked. That's crazy. That guy would have the best triangle ever in history. But if you think, like, you just squeeze with your legs, your legs are so much bigger than your arms.

You ever seen that video of a guy, the bull comes at him, and he grabs the bull in a headlock and throws the bull over the top of him? The bull comes down, he clamps a hole to the bull's head, and rolls with it and gets on top of the bull over the top of him. The bull comes down. He clamps a hole to the bull's head and rolls with it and gets on top of the bull. Wow. And guys were sending it to me. Like, imagine this guy's head and arm choke. Jesus. BJ Penn actually sent it to me. Oh, hilarious.

And he's like, dude, guillotines for days. And I'm like, yeah, look at this guy's choke. This guy's got an insane choke. Watch this. Oh, my gosh. That's one. That's a different one. That's not the same one.

This guy headlocked it and he rolled it over the top. Like the bull came towards him, and he grabbed a hold of the neck, got to the side. And this is a different one, too. But I think people probably got good at that. So he's hanging on to it while they let it go. The guy's holding his tail. It says he slams it. So let's see. Oh, yeah, man. So the guy's holding his tail. It says he slams it. So let's see.

Oh, yeah, man. So the guy's holding his tail. That's kind of cheating. The other guy wasn't holding the head. There wasn't a guy holding the tail with the other guy. This guy's just hanging onto the neck. But again, oh, he's tripping it. Oh, he's a wrestler.

That guy's got to be a wrestler. And he took it down. Jesus Christ. That's crazy. That's a very young bull. The other one, the bull had horns and the bull was coming at him and he clamped a hole in the bull's neck and flipped him to the ground. This is it. Oh, look at that. That's incredible. That's crazy. That's all grip, bro. Look at that guy's grip. It's incredible. Show that again. That's cool. Watch how this

guy does this. He comes at the guy. The guy grabs a hold of it. Boom! Over the top. And hangs on. This dude is a hell of a grappler. Like, that squeeze is fucking amazing. Look how he's got a hold of the horns, holding on to it. You just don't want to let go.

We probably didn't see the end. Ray mauls him. Yeah, eventually let's go. And that bull sticks a horn right up his asshole. There's a lot of those videos, dude, of matadors. Remember when it was hard to see something fucked up?

Remember when we were kids? I just found a new website. That's, you remember, uh, what's the one that they used to have? Like a live leak, rotten dot live leak.

It's like the new live leak. And it's horrible. Like, it's like, there was one person got run over at a New York subway. It's just meat, like clothing and meat. Oh, it's fucked. They find their clips for your mom's house. I probably. I have no idea where they're getting that stuff from.

It's called like USA Crime or something weird. Like, you can tell it's a website. I think with your mom's house it's a lot of donations it's a lot of a lot of people sending it in yeah yeah not donations contributions like people online contributions yeah freelance yeah i mean they're they're like have you done one of their live shows not the live shows dude yeah they're rough i can't do it i don't like that i've seen a lot right but it was shocking to me. I had to gag multiple times and turn my face away from the screen.

A lot of shit stuff. A lot of people eating shit and smearing shit all over themselves and smearing it on their dicks and you're like, what? Yeah, they broke Bobby Lee the other couple days. Oh, they'll break everybody, man. Tom and Christina are sick people. They are. They're sick people. But what they've done is

an amazing achievement. It's brilliant the way they thought of it. They're like people. But what they've done is an amazing achievement. It's brilliant the way they thought of it. They're like, let's do a show where we see stuff that we would watch, like if we were friends, we're just all hanging out. And we couldn't broadcast it anywhere because it would get removed. It's illegal. But if we make people pay to see it, it's totally legal. And we could just have this thing. We sign up.

We pay. And we'll map out. And they hired producers from Saturday Night. We sign up and we'll map out. And they hired producers from Saturday Night Live, like real people. They have sketches. It's a great show. I enjoyed the shit out of it. And after I left, I was like, dude, that is a great fucking show. Like what you've done is amazing.

It's a pay-per-view event. They do them like once every couple months or something like that. And when they do them, they're fucking nuts. They wait until they have enough sketches and enough fucked up videos and then they bring in a guest and freak him the fuck out that's great what did Bobby Lee think he might puke bucket it was great did Bobby do the show Jerry no he hasn't been on ever. Really?

Yeah. Has he been on in the past? Way, way, way back in the day. Episode four or five or something. Okay, that's right. He hasn't been on since, but I would 100% have him on. Yeah, he was in town the other day to do your mom's house, and he came to the secret show, and he did a spot and hung out with him. I haven't hung out with him in so long.

He seems so happy now, so it's really cool to see a happy Bobby. He's a lot more free. I'm very happy for him. He's a great person. He really is. A sweetheart of a guy. If you don't like Bobby Lee, man, I think that's on you.

I don't know how you could not love that guy. And he's fucking hilarious. His stand-up is fucking hilarious. I've been busting his balls for years trying to get him to do a special. But if you go see him live, you will not be disappointed. He's very fucking funny. He's the funniest guy that

doesn't have a special, for sure. No one's even close. He's a murderer. He would go to the comedy store in the fucking OR and just destroy. Destroy! Bobby destroys. And he's fucking, he performs so good, he's so enthusiastic. You know, hopefully he'll put together a special, but if he doesn fucking, he performs. He's so good. He's so enthusiastic. You know, hopefully he'll put together a special.

But if he doesn't, go see him live. It's fucking great. Yep. And he's just a good dude. I'm happy to see him happy. Yeah, me too. And I bet his DMs are filled with bomb diggers. Hell yeah.

I'm sure. There's a lot of girls want to take up where Kalilah left off. Let me show you some next level. You know? Yeah. But now they also realize they could get famous if they're Bobby Lee's girlfriend. There's probably a lot of those girls. It's so dangerous nowadays.

So it's got to duck them. You've got to know which one's a sociopath, which one's pretending they like you, and which one just really likes funny guys. You know who's fucking hilarious? Stavos. Have you had Stavos really likes funny guys? Mm-hmm. You know who's fucking hilarious? Stavos. Have you had Stavos on Kill Tony before? No. You know, I don't know him, but I see him all over the place.

Dude, he's so funny. Yeah. He's so funny. He's so funny on stage. He fucking murdered at the Vulcan. He was really funny. But he's really funny as a podcast guest, too. He's just a fun dude, man.

What's his style of comedy like? Just a lot of crazy stories and talking shit and he's just fucking great. Just free. He's like one of those up and coming new crop of just gunslingers. I heard he's taking a break from stand-up comedy to lose weight. He's trying to get healthy.

Right. I think he's coming off a big tour. He just wants to get healthy. His brother's a fitness trainer You talked about that on the podcast too He's Greek right? Super Greek He knows everything about Greece Greek gods, Greek this, Greek that

How do you pronounce his last name? Halkias That's a fucking Greek name He didn't do it here but he'll lean into this Baltimore accent Because I asked my chiropractor for a happy ending. Now that we got that out of the way, fuck the Steelers, yo. Let's fucking go Ravens, baby.

The Steelers fucking suck dick. Pittsburgh sucks dick, yo. Fucking Kenny only throws pickets. You see his ass faking an injury because he was too scared to face the Ravens defense, yo. That hit wasn't nothing, yo. If that was me, I would have eaten that shit up. Fucking touchdown pass the ravens defense yo that hit wasn't nothing yo if that was me i would have eaten that up touchdown pass the next play yo but not everybody's built like a champion like me or joe flacco who you or josh should have kept in the game so that they could defeat the bills

by the way anyway kenny's too scared to play so who y'all that's a character yeah he does obviously that's a character he's doing a baltimore goof that reminded me that pat from minaki died yeah baby bird i was there that with you oh that was crazy that to this day is the craziest experience i've ever had broadcasting anything that was nuts when i proposed that idea i was joking around i didn't think that guy would really lean his head off the edge of a garbage can and let that guy throw up in his mouth. It was so much puke. It was so crazy. If you haven't seen it, folks, Google Baby Bird ONA.

The ONA days, man. There it is. Bam. That was real. It's still around, so I'll watch it later. Yeah, it doesn't seem like it. We watched it recently. Didn't we on Protect Our Parks? Yeah, just in case someone didn't watch that. It's still around, so I watched it later. Yeah, it doesn't seem like it. We watched it recently. Didn't we on Protect Our Parks?

Yeah, just in case someone didn't watch that. Pal Talk. It's still around. I forgot about Pal Talk. It's Pal Talk. They were the first guys to do that. They were broadcasting live on Pal Talk while they were on the radio. Who owns, what is Pal Talk now?

You know, like, did they get bought out? Elon bought it and shut it down. Yeah. He needs to bring back Vine. He was going to, wasn't he? It's still open. PalTalk. PalTalk is?

Yeah. Whoa. Might have rebranded a little bit. Yeah, this is probably a different company. I remember when you had it back then, you had, no, I think that's it. When you had it back then, it had to be PC. That's why I never had it. Right.

You couldn't use it on a Mac. And that was back when I was trying to not play video games. Livestream is only on PalTalk. Oh, there it goes. So there's shows that livestream only. But that was the first sort of internet version of the radio show where they would stream both on the internet and on the radio at the same time. The ONA days, man. For people, it's hard now to believe that there was no podcasts at one point in time.

But there was a show where all the comics would go and just fuck around. And it was great. And Bill Burr was like a regular on it almost every day. DePaulo, Burr. Patrice. Patrice was the man. If it was a Patrice episode on ONA, you knew it was going to be great. Rich Voss, Jim Norton.

I mean, those guys were fucking great. It was a great show. Monster Rain. It's Monster Rain. It was a great show, man. It was a fucking great show. It was so much fun. And for young, stupid guys like me, it was like, oh, my God, there's a thing like this?

And people say that they ripped off Howard. It was certainly influenced by Howard. There's no doubt. Everybody was influenced by Howard, including me. But what they did was different because they had a hang. And that's what we did. We did Ice House Chronicles and we did all those shows that we did. We were doing a version of ONA.

Absolutely. When we did those shows at the Ice House in Pasadena where you would go on stage and then the comics would switch out depending on who's on stage. Like, who's up? Like, how much time do I have? And it was right across the hallway. So we'd run from the podcast studio right to the stage. It was so fun, man. It was the best.

It was so fun. You should do something like that at your comedy club. We 100% should do something like that at your comedy club. We 100% should do something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we're going to have a setup at the comedy club where when you guys are doing Kill Tony, there'll be another room with an open mic going on simultaneously. That's awesome.

Yeah. So you could actually practice. So you might be able to do a set at the open mic and then go do Kill Tony. Well, you'd be hot. You'll get off stage, you have a good set, and then go bang it out on the internet in front of hundreds of thousands of people. Can't wait. Having a setup like

we had back then was so encouraging for comedy. Because that was when I was kicked out of the store and we were trying to find some other places to go and things to do. So the Ice House became our spot for a long time. That's where we met young Jamie. They're going to reopen soon. Yeah, I heard.

I want to see it so bad. Yeah, I wonder what they did. They remodeled something, which is, it was perfect. Yeah. Like, if I bought the ice house, I would be like, we're not touching anything. Don't touch anything. But a lot needed work.

Fix the toilet, that's it. Ceilings. Remember, I would come into work or come into my studio and there would just be ceiling and water all over my shit every day but that's the thing about california there's leaky roofs and you don't find out about it until it only rains once a year yeah but that was just as old as bill it used to be a real ice house yeah back in the day the ice house was a place where people would buy ice and then it was a music venue for a little while, and then it became the Ice House of the Comedy Club.

Yeah. That place was the shit. You know, it was such a good room that agents would not accept tapes from the Ice House because they thought it was too easy to kill there. That's right. It was almost like a cheat code because it felt like you were at a road show, you know,

so the audiences, it wasn't LA audiences. Yeah, they weren't jaded. They were from Pasadena. It was like regular people. They weren't like industry people.

It was a totally different vibe. It was like killing in Columbus or something like that. Yeah. Well, we're kind of jaded

because we live in Texas and it's the best audiences in the world. They're the best. I mean, you can't beat They're the best. But we always used to say

that about Texas. Remember back in the day we would do like the Addison Improv or the Laugh Factory can't beat They're the best. But we always used to say that about Texas. Remember back in the day we would do like the Addison Improv or the Laugh Factory or something like that or the Laugh Stop rather. We were like,

they're the best down here. They're just fucking partying. They're fun. They're just fun fucking people and they're not poisoned by show business, you know? Mm-hmm.

Used to go on that Dale show. Remember the radio show? Yeah. He got let go recently. Did he? Yeah, after how many years has he done that Dale show. Remember the radio show? Yeah. He got let go recently. Did he? Yeah, after how many years has he done that? Yeah. Well, they all, you know.

I mean, I don't know what anybody could have done back then in terms of, like, do a podcast simultaneously. Because I think probably a lot of their contracts said they couldn't do that. Because that's what happened with Anthony when Anthony Was doing live from the compound which is the most ridiculous show ever and also inspired us the two things that inspired us the most Were Tom Green for sure absolutely because remember when we went to his house. We're like holy shit He's got a talk show mm-hmm, but he did it almost like an internet version of a traditional talk show Mm-hmm, and then the other thing was ona but ona was the hang and then anthony kumia you're like whoa you can do that from your house too where it's like just you set

this thing up just like tom green did and just have chaos and you know have you know anthony kumia style chaos like oh shit there was all these things that like set the table for us and it was always so fun because every week we'd find a new microphone. Oh, the cameras. It was so fun back then. Constant shopping. It's crazy back then how many people told us we were wasting our time. Isn't that interesting?

Because everybody thought it was just a giant waste of time. Even Segura. Segura leaving the show was like, what is he doing? Remember he had a conversation with you? Why is he doing this? It's hilarious. Now he's one of the biggest podcasters in the world. Dude, I did a show Tuesday, Wednesday.

And his new studio is like a legit production company studio. Tons of employees and shit. Yeah, like way more employees than I have. Yeah. And everybody's running around doing different things. They have green rooms, like green screen rooms. Danny Brown's room. Danny Brown show, yeah.

Dr. Drew. Danny Brown is funny as fuck. Danny is hilarious. Oh, my God. His show is so funny. He's like one of the great ranters. There's a few people that are just so good at ranting. It's such a beautiful skill to just be able to talk shit about everything.

And the thing about your mom's house, too, is they have those guys that are working there that are in the booth. And they're all laughing, too. So Danny Brown's talking even more. It's like the Tim Dillon situation where he's got an audience of one, you know, which is nice. Yeah. Nice. Nice. Yeah, what's next, buddy?

You think virtual? I know you do a lot of stuff. I'm still on virtual, yeah. But you do it more like silly. It's like fun stuff. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, I think what Meta's version of the future is not, I think it's more, a little bit different than that.

I feel kind of bad that they're going bankrupt and spending billions of dollars a year and shit like that I feel that didn't work out as good as he thought it was not I remember when he came on the podcast I was enthusiastic about it like well, he's fucking hit home runs every time But the thing is like people are still weirded out about putting goggles on and going to a world It's not really there right now I like I was talking to Christina and Tom the other day and Christina's like, fucking, you look so stupid. Like, I hate it.

And like, I hate looking at people doing the VR thing. Cause I guess she goes to the mall and does all that shit all the time with her kids, you know? And, uh, Tom was like, oh, I want to buy one. So, uh, he's going to get one. But, uh. I'll tell you what they're good for. It's workouts.

Workouts? Yeah. Boxing? You do the boxing one? Yeah. You will get a fucking serious workout. Right. Because it's like it forces you to punch.

And you're like punching in the air, like just punching in the air with not hitting anything is actually kind of more exhausting sometimes, especially when you're punching fast because you've got to decelerate too. Whereas when you're punching something like a heavy bag, you can just punch it and hit it. There's a different thing. You'll be able to generate more power by punching it and hitting it because you're hitting it and you're actually almost like lifting weights when you're pushing the bag off because there's a resistance.

So it builds your power. But for a workout, man, working out, like having those little things on your hands and you see the boxing gloves in front of you and the guy comes at you, it's wild, man. It's hard to do. The only problem I think is it's too big right now to really take it to the next level for working out. Like it gets hot.

You know, you got this big plastic thing on your face. But I think in the future when it gets smaller and it gets more like goggles or glasses. It'll be like those Brian Bosworth sunglasses. Yeah, yeah. Once it gets to that. Remember those? Yeah. What are those? Oakleys? Yeah, yeah, Once it gets to that. Yeah. Remember those? Yeah, what are those?

Oakleys? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember the Bos? Yeah, fucking Bos. Remember that guy? What happened to that guy? Well, he became a movie, he was a football player,

but he fucked his shoulder up, and then he went from football to the movies. He was a movie star in like a couple of movies. Then I don't know, I haven't heard about him in a year. Is he still around? Where's Brian Bosworth? Yeah.

There he is. What happened? He was all over the place for a while. Look at that handsome bastard. God, where's Bosworth? There's a few of those football players that transitioned to become movie stars that just gave it up. Like Howie Long was another one. Remember that?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, look at that. Howie's on TV still. Howie's on TV as a football analyst, right? Yeah. Yeah. But he was a movie star for a while, remember? Refrigerator Perry, remember him?

Oh, yeah, but I don't think he did movies. So Bosworth is still around? What does he do now? I don't know. Dude, he was a tank. That's him now. Wow. Still a handsome bastard.

He's still around. Look at him. Looks better now. Look at that sultry-looking motherfucker. Yeah, but apparently he knew his shoulder was fucked up when he got signed but he was like a giant superstar like i think it was like part of it was his it was a talented player but part of it was the look and the image and all this shit where's he at now oklahoma he's in oklahoma is he still around now is he he's in a bunch of movies. Did The Longest Yard,

One Tough Bastard, Stone Cold. That's the one he did. That was the big one. That's the best one. In 1991. Oh, no. 96 was the last one? Midnight Heat.

No, no. Midnight Heat? They're not in order or anything. What was his... I think the big one was Stone Cold, though, right? Wasn't that his first breakout movie? I remember Stone Cold the most. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, everybody, he was like the fucking man. There's like these guys every now and then. Shoulder injury, 88. Yep. He was also in The Longest Yard with Joey Dees.

Right, that's right. Stone Cold, 91. 91, that was the big movie. Stone Cold. Mm-hmm. On Again, Off Again film career. Starring in several low budget films such as One Man's Justice, which went straight to DVD. Remember those days?

Remember those days of going into Blockbuster and just looking around? I miss it. There were fun days, man. There's fun days when you, you know, like we almost have like too many options. I don't like to say that because i think it's awesome that more content creators exist and more people have a chance to create things is the barrier for entry is so much different than it used to be but there was something cool but i think it was only cool because we can look back back then if you gave us netflix we're like fuck yeah yeah get it instantly

i just press a button holy shit this is crazy i don't even have to leave the house back then you have to go out in the snow Good blockbusters and fucking skid in the parking lot Remember those days mm-hmm you have to rewind your tape so Sometimes you shit we get stuck You know get stuck inside the machine remember like videotapes or movies back then like if you lost it was like 80 bucks like a hundred dollars it wasn't like yeah it was super overpriced i remember uh i went to this local video store and they would charge you if you uh if you didn't return a film but i was too shy to bring back pornos so i'd rent them and just keep them charge me it's like 10 of them

i think that's what most people did they don't want to bring back you know debbie does dallas and put a stack of these fucking porns down you fucking pervert yeah i've told you this before on the show but i used to work at a video store over a 24-hour store had a porn side and my kindergarten teacher came in and a woman buying porn and i don't think she recognized me but i i recognize her but uh it was creepy that's a rare lady back then yeah a lady that goes to get the porn yeah people probably had a totally different attitude about porn because it was so new it was such a new thing and it didn't have a negative connotation yet like you didn't think of porn as like people who are abused as a child that went on to do porn

you just thought people fucking this is great like nobody thought about the like how did this start like who's doing this why are you doing it what's your motivation like are you hooked on drugs like no one thought that you saw people are fucking this is great i can get a video and remember you had to go through those saloon doors? Or push the beads aside? Yeah, the beads. And there was like drug tests you know, like pipes. They sold

all kinds of shit. Brass knuckles. Yeah, brass knuckles. If they sold porn, they also sold brass knuckles and bongs. Yeah, if you went to an actual adult store, those are the creepiest. Because those, you're not even pretending they had a rent of Patrick Swayze movie. You're only going straight for porn. Those are the creepiest stores to go to.

It was like Porn Emporium or something like that. And you're walking. They probably don't exist anymore. No, I'm looking. I'm sure. I was like, why was it called the Lion's Den? Right. I don't think they all were.

It was just the one that started where we were from. I've seen them in Texas. You're driving driving on the highway emporium or whatever the fuck it is and they sell lingerie and dildos and shit yeah there was but that was the only place for a while where you could get porn like when i was a kid magazines couldn't show erections. Like the guys had to be soft. So the women could have their vaginas open, spread eagle, and pull their pussy lips aside. And the guy had to have like this limp dick. Like people were afraid of dicks. Like this was in the 80s.

Like you couldn't have a hard dick in a magazine. It would be against the law. They'd put you in a cage. It's ridiculous. They'd come in and arrest you. If you had a magazine filled with hard dicks like what the fuck are you doing my wife's gonna see that dick guaranteed that's what it was guaranteed it was a guy with a little dick is like we can't have that right no hard dicks you didn't grow up with this that way like maybe you did brian i don't know

we always had a friend with a single dad who would have either the stack of magazines or, like, he had the black box. He had access to the channel that everyone else was scrambled. The black box, yeah. Skinamax. No one else had that box. It was always, like, the single dad had the black box. Yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely.

Well, before there was that option to get porn, you had to jerk off through your memory. Or you had to get a lingerie catalog. A JCPenney Christmas catalog. You weren't inspired. Remember those big books? Every year you would get the big book and you would go through all the toys and you had to write down the numbers and order it through the mail. That's right.

That's right. Yeah, man. People got addicted to ordering through catalogs because it's just like people are addicted to internet shopping. People are addicted to internet shopping. I'm addicted to ordering through catalogs because it's just like people are addicted to Internet shopping. You know, people are addicted to Internet shopping. I'm addicted. It's fucking so addictive. Like, I need that money clip.

I was so high the other day, I couldn't remember how you bought a plane ticket without the Internet. Like, I was like, how did that even happen? I don't remember ever doing that in my entire life. But, yeah, I guess it was a phone call. I remember when you bought a plane ticket, you didn't even have to show a license. You didn't even have to show who you were. Yeah. You just had a ticket.

You'd just be able to show them the ticket. You'd give them the ticket, you'd get on the plane. Like, someone could give you their ticket. Smoking. I remember those days. Yes! You'd just show up to the airport, too, and be like, I need to get to Ohio. Okay?

Three hours from now, there's a flight to here. There's three seats left. You can have one of them. That's craziness. Yeah, how did you, you just went to the airport? Or did you buy tickets in advance? I think over the phone.

I think you would call them. Sometimes you would buy it months in advance. And they send them to you? I think so. It's hilarious. I think I remember that. How'd they write,

they wrote their books with a feather? I have no idea. And there's no printing press at all. It's so crazy how much things have changed just inside of our life. Now every ticket's on your phone and you walk by the thing. Scans your ticket. Crazy.

The TSA didn't really have any technology. It was like your pinky square. You don't have anything on you. I don't think it existed. Yeah, I don't think there was anything. There was a metal detector maybe, but that's about it. No, you used to be able to go right to the gate, remember? Yes, and you'd go to the gate and meet your friends.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I went and met my dad, and they let me go back on the plane and sit in the thing. I forgot about that. Oh, wow. I would have been like, I want to go home. Now if you leave your phone on the plane, you can't go back on the plane and get your phone. Yeah.

What do you expect me to do? I'm still in the airport. I just got off the plane. What the fuck is wrong with you But that back then they didn't have to take off your shoes it was that Richard Spencer guy that shoe bomber right once he tried to blow himself up and They'd say all right luggage. No charge for what remember that yeah It was just a weird. It was just a different world back then man that you could smoke on a plane is so crazy

a different world back then, man. That you could smoke on a plane is so crazy. Dice Clay used to have a joke about it. About, I could smoke here, but I can't smoke here. We're in a fucking poob. He had this whole bit about smoking on a plane. There's a video that just came out

a couple days ago of this guy last week just packed a plane and just pulls out a cigarette and starts smoking it. And it's just so weird to see. Everyone's freaking out, like looking at him like, is he really smoking a cigarette?

Yeah, that used to be normal. I remember there's an old video of Bertrand Russell and Bertrand Russell would not fly unless he could smoke on a plane. And he was talking about it. See if you can find that. It's a crazy crazy crazy video because

i mean here's like this cherished intellectual who just loved tobacco and he could not be without tobacco the sort of conventional self-indulgences or vices like drinking tobacco and so on which is your favorite one oh tobacco i smoke a pipe all day long except when i'm eating or sleeping hasn't that shortened your life? Well, they used to say it would when I first took to it, but I took to it some seventy years ago, so it doesn't seem to have had a very great effect so far. In fact, you know, on one occasion it saved my life.

I was in an airplane and a man was getting a seat for me and I said, get me a seat in the smoking part, because if I can't smoke I should die. And sure enough, there was an accident, a bad accident, and all the people in the non-smoking part of the plane were drowned. And the people in the smoking part jumped into the Norwegian fjord where we landed and were saved. So that I owe my life to smoking. Did you have...

What the hell? That was back when planes crashed all the time. That's one thing where technology got way better. Preventing plane crashes. Plane crashes were so normal. They were so fucking normal. They happened all the time.

Like they would happen like once a month. The plane just drives itself pretty much nowadays. And they're just really good at knowing when to fly and when not to fly. They have better understanding of the weather conditions. Back then they would just, is it windy? Yeah. Well, let's go. Let's go, bitch. They'd just go up,

and the wind would be going 100 miles an hour sideways. I wonder if they even had a way of measuring it back then accurately, like at distance. Like, you know, if you're flying over the country, they know now where the patches

of turbulence are, and they avoid them. You know, they're like, we're going through a rough spot, but we're going to clear this and go to the next, and there's nothing up above it. So they know where the wind is now.

Still, I was flying back from Detroit, and we were in the middle of a thunderstorm. It was creepy, dude. It was creepy. We were looking out the window on the way to Austin, and we couldn't land in Austin. We wound up landing somewhere else. And then we had to transport to Austin. Wow. Yeah, it was sketchy.

It was sketchy. Once in a while, that shit still happens. And it's always when I'm stoned, too. I'm like, why did this happen to happen when I'm stoned? Well, it's most of the time when I'm on an airplane. Yeah. I don't like to be on an airplane sober. Fuck that.

Like, what am I going to do? I have zero responsibility for three hours. Why would I be sober? Right. You know? Yeah. But it's just watching the lightning in the sky while you're flying around. You realize, I'm just floating in air

here in the middle of an electrical storm. This is such a bad idea. Yeah. That's how people go. Happens all the time. Especially the small planes. Especially if you know the Clintons. Yeah. Especially the private jets

that everyone's doing nowadays. Those are even scarier during storms. Oh yeah, man. For sure. Yeah. But they're all scary, man. It's a metal fucking thing in the sky while it's lightning is crackling. The thing about Texas as opposed to California is that it rains a lot here. Like we get to experience rain. I fucking love it. I love it, but it's so violent. Like compared to even like, you know, Ohio, we used to have thunderstorms all the time. There's something about Texas. And I think it must be because of the, the, the ocean being around it or near or something like that. What about California? The ocean's near that. Yeah. But I mean, I just mean the lightning so much. Like when it is a lightning storm out here, you're my whole house rumbles and it's deeper.

And it's, I think, I don't know, but I'm guessing that's because there's more moisture storm out here. Our whole house rumbles, and it's deeper, and it's very- I think, I don't know, but I'm guessing that's because there's more moisture here. Yeah, right. There's more humidity. So I would imagine that has something to do- Is that what- Without- Not only am I correct, but I think it has more to do with atmospheric pressure and things like to that.

And the jet stream doesn't really go down through Southern California a ton, and here is like- Oh. Yeah, right on the spot where everything mixes. It's fucking scary sometimes. The scariest shit is tornadoes. And the wind. I remember watching this video. It was outside of Dallas. It was on television and there were semi-trucks that were flying through the air and I was like, oh

my god. Yeah. A semi-truck just floating around the air like a paper cup. It was floating around the sky. This twister touched down on this area that had semis. It was fucking nuts. Yeah, that tornado from four months ago, it was like literally five miles from my house. And then I went through Hutto and just destroyed all those things in Hutto.

What did it destroy? Houses? Houses, a shopping center, like tore through all these, like this neighborhood. There's this drone footage of this neighborhood and every single roof is like missing and except there will be like one house that's untouched and then everything else around is just bombed this is wild video of this guy he's driving his car at night they're trying to get away from a tornado and it's dark out so you can't see it but every now and then the lightning cracks and you see

the tornado in the distance. And this guy doesn't even know, like, is he going the right way? What if it turns directions? I mean, is he listening to the Doppler radar at every second of every day? So watch this guy's driving, and look at that. Look at that fucking tornado in the distance. Imagine that's a monster. It's like a King Kong running at you 1,000 feet tall.

But it's crazy because, like, you only see it when the sky flashes with lightning. Other than that, it's just dark. And then you get a sense of where this thing is going, but you're just guessing. You're just hoping the lightning still keeps going so you can get a sense of where it's going. Look at the cars going. The cars are driving by it. Oh, my God. Imagine that now it's, like, the year of B.C. 2000. Oh, my God. Imagine that now it's like the year of BC 2000

and you're sitting there. Oh my god. And you have a tent. And you don't even know. What do you do? Do you get to the cave? I guess you have to get to the cave. Would you have ever seen a tornado before? You know, like, did they even know what the fuck that was? Probably thought it was a monster or something. Well, you gotta think the Plains Indians

for sure saw that. They lived in those areas. They for sure saw something like that. Fuck. Did they have... Did the Native Americans have an expression for tornadoes? Let's see what that is. They probably had a whole mythology attached to tornadoes. They believed tornadoes were living things,

according to this article I just quickly pulled up. The Shawnee believed some tornadoes were kindred spirits that could never harm them. Others believed they were a cleansing agent sweeping away negative things in life. Hmm. The Shawnee believed some tornadoes were kindred spirits that could never harm them. Others believed they were a cleansing agent sweeping away negative things in life. That's nice. I'm sure that each one had a different...

Living things. The sky monster. Woo-hoo-hoo. I wish I had been. That was what they thought dragons were. It's the fucking tornado that showed up. Or, what if dragons were real? Like in that fucking Matthew McConaughey movie? Remember that movie that movie was the shit. I bet dragons could be real bath back when Matthew McConaughey was jacked

He was fucking great in that movie and what's his name was in that movie to? Christian Bale mm-hmm. What was that movie called? movie too um christian bale what was that movie called um reign of fire yeah that was a good movie that's a good dragon movie the dragons they ate carbon they had to burn everything to eat right so everything they burn everything down and then they would eat whatever was like charred that's what they ate that's why they had fire and they lived in the center of the earth and they were in the middle of a mining thing. Yes. Yeah, that was good.

Fuck yeah, that was good. And those were the first like Game of Thrones type dragons in a movie because they were like Game of Thrones dragons. They weren't, you know, they were like mythology dragons. Yeah. Look at that thing. There's a video of Forrest Galante on here

talking about dragons. I've seen him going around recently. Oh, really? Yeah, he's just... He's coming on soon. Play that. I'm going to find it. Find it.

They bring up the point of, like, they show up everywhere all over the world in all sorts of mythology, and they all look the same. Yeah, it's a good point. What do you think they were? Why do you think they thought they had wings? Pterodactyls? Maybe. Pterodactyls were probably dragons. You like these kind of far out there ideas.

How do you like this idea? There's a group of people that say that dragons were real. And I'll explain. So around the same time period in China, South America, Africa, Rome, all these places, images depicted people fighting dragons, right? And every dragon was slightly different, but it was all a giant scaly animal that could fly. So when you break that down,

you think about the fact that large birds had a hard time being fossilized because their bones are so porous, right? So because bones, they have like hollowish bones, they break down very easily and they don't fossilize. The reason there's no fossils of dragons is because they had bird bones and they were actually very delicate animals. But a handful

of these small population of these giant flying lizards existed. So... That was right. I remember that now. My memory's gone. Too many podcasts. Do you know what I did the other day?

Someone told me about this guy and was like, oh, it sounds really cool. I Googled him. He's been on the show. What? Yeah.

There's one, Billy Corgan. I clearly remember. From Smashing Pumpkins. Yeah, it was over five years ago. Whoa. I was like,

what? Whoa. Yeah, my memory's trash. It's getting worse. It's just, my memory is too much. There's too much in there.

And every now and then, I'll pull something out of my ass. I'm like, how do I even remember that? But I think right now my hard drive is beyond full. My disks are skipping. And I try to incorporate new information. And every time I do, I have to delete some old shit. It's like that thing, Dunbar's number, where you can only keep a certain amount of people in your life, like intimate friendships.

We've talked about this like 10 times. We forgot it already. Well, actually, we talked about it recently, and Jamie pulled it up, that it actually is scaled. There's like an X amount that are like your close friends, but there are other ones that are like distant acquaintances, and the number gets bigger and bigger. It gets to be

like 1,500 people or something like that. There's different scales of explanation. Yeah, see, there it goes. It goes to 1,500. Go back to that one, that last one. See, there's all these like five people that are really close to you. And there's 15 close friends. And then 35 acquaintances and 150 people you know.

And so this is, as it gets further off, there's like more and more distance. And you think about guys like us who have had podcasts with thousands of people, thousands of people. And social media. And social media. But the podcast thing, you've had actual physical conversations with thousands of people that you probably forget.

Yeah. How many people have you had on Kill Tony? Well, we're like, what, 580, maybe two guests. Probably over a thousand, you know, over a thousand at least. More than that at least and then all the comics that go on the show oh yeah at least yeah and then i mean how many comics do we know that we've met right on the road and this guy opened here and you saw this guy

and then some guys just they drop off and you forget about them and you're like oh yeah henry cho whatever happened to that guy remember that guy Yeah. Asian guy with a southern accent? I was like, whoa. Yeah. And there was a bunch of guys like that. You go, whatever happened to that guy? Where did he go? Yeah.

You know, I was thinking the other day of there was a prop guy that was really popular at one point in time. I was trying to remember his name. He was a prop guy that was popular in like the 1980s and he had like a bag of eye boogers that he pulled out like a jar i've been saving them my whole life he like pulled it out i forget his name but it was funny but he's like before carrot top that was the genre of of comedy you'd see a lot of different and then teams there's team comedy now there There's only like Joe our brothers Joey and Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy. Yeah, there was a bunch of those guys fat Johnny in the route a red Johnny in the round guy There's a but those guys would murder those guys would murder. I remember those guys in New York

They would close with a rap they had a rap and if you had to follow that rap you were fucked Because it was so much energy and it all rhymed and they would close boom and everybody go then you had to go on afterwards you ever noticed like shut the fuck up and rap like on the road like if you went on after a guy who had a song a guy who busted out a guitar and had a song you were doomed yeah you were doomed there was guys that were just they just had dirty songs that's right what was there was a famous guy way back in the day that just had dirty songs. That's right. There was a famous guy way back in the day that had just dirty songs. Oh, my God. He was an East Coast guy.

He was really dirty songs. It was like in the 80s, and he was super controversial even in the 80s. Yeah. Oh, my God. What was his name? I cannot remember. But he was the Dirty Song guy. And, like, your parents told you about him.

Like, your parents knew about this guy. See, find it. Yeah, what is that guy? There were so many guys that people forgot about. Did you ever see Bob Woods? No. Bob Woods? No. Bob Woods is a guy people forgot about. He was like a Long Island legend.

Legend. Hilarious guy. He does this show once. And he's doing this show and there's kids in the audience. And he goes into this bit. And I think the bit is talking about blowjobs. And they go, Bob, Bob, Bob. There's kids in the crowd.

He goes, let them learn. He just went right into the bit and crushed. It is weird any time there's kids in the audience. It's the worst. It's the worst kids here. Do you remember when the improv used to have those high school shows? Yeah. Those were crazy.

Like, these are 15-year-olds in the audience. And they would tell you, don't change your material. Just do what you would normally do. Yes. Why are you telling me this? That should be illegal. Yeah. These guys literally shouldn't be here.

Right. And there's some loophole where they're allowed to go. As long as they didn't drink, they were allowed, like, for one show, they were licensed to have fucking 14-year-olds in the crowd. So weird. And you'd look at their faces. They couldn't even believe they were at a comedy show. They've never seen to have fucking 14-year-olds in the crowd. So weird. And you'd look at their faces. They couldn't even believe they were at a comedy show. Yeah.

They've never seen anything like it. What a great teacher. How cool would that be, though, to be 14 and be able to do that? Yeah. Because I was a grown man when I went to my first comedy show. Yeah, if you could, I mean, what a great way to recruit stand-ups. Get someone to be in the stand-up. Like, get them to see what it's like when they're really young and be in the audience.

Because most people, they watch stand-up, it's on television. And I always say that stand-up on television is like 60% to 70% as good as it is when you're live. So if you see a special like Bill Burr that makes you laugh hysterically when you're at home, imagine how good it would be to see Chris Rock in person. He's 50 feet from you, murdering. There's something about when you're there live. You know who's really fucking funny? Adam Sandler.

I saw him live in Vegas last weekend. Oh, you did? He was really funny, dude. It's so Adam Sandler. It's so silly. A lot of music? Yeah, he does music, but he also does just straight stand-up. He has this bit about the way words are pronounced.

I don't want to fuck the bit up, but it's really funny, man. With the end, I was like clapping. I was like, what a great bit. It's a great bit, man. I don't want to give it away, but it's a really good bit. Is he touring or was this just like one special? Yeah, he's touring. I would like to see.

And Rob Schneider opened up for him, too. He was really funny, man. Rob Schneider's really fucking funny. I hadn't seen Rob Schneider do stand-up in a long time. He killed. It was funny, man. I was laughing hard. I was like, this is a good show, man.

It was really funny. It's great. But Adam is so, he's so Adam Sandler on stage. Like, silly and... Coming here in February. In February, where at? The Moody? Yeah.

Did you say hi to him? Yeah, yeah. I hung out with him. Went backstage and said, what's up he's cool motherfucker always has been he's just a regular guy like like he's as normal as you in one of the ways he got to be so normal as he works with the same people always he brings the same comics he has them in movies and you know occasionally brings in you know actresses and different people and actors that he doesn't know but the vibe is all the same because like everybody the same directors same writers like everybody's cool together and they all

know each other it's just a fun vibe yep i did uh zookeeper with him oh that's right yeah so i get to hang out with him it was he's he's just a great guy he's just a cool motherfucker and during the pandemic me and my family watched every adam sandler movie except for little nicky we never got to little nicky i never never saw it yeah but we watched the zohan that's that's a fucking underrated movie man yeah his he gets fun movies man they're so silly you can do it they yell that out when rob schneider gets on stage by the way it's like when remember when Chappelle would go on stage and everyone would go,

I'm rich, bitch! Or, I'm Rick James, bitch! They would do that. They would yell out, I'm Rick James. I smoke rocks, Joe Rogan. There was a lot of that, man. Did you ever see this movie? Which one? Wrong Missy? No. It's from Adam Sandler's production company.

It's fucking really funny. Of course it is. Oh sandler's production company you know it's fucking really funny of course it is funny oh that's 2020 no i never saw it i'll have to see it do you know nick swartzen almost died did you hear about yes i did that's crazy he was in town the other day yeah i missed him i didn't get to see him i love him he's a great guy i love him too that whole crew he's got fucking hilarious people, man. There's some funny ass fucking people they put in those movies. But those movies never got any love. Like Happy Madison, all the critics shit on them.

Yeah. You know, people just, for whatever reason, audiences love them and critics hate them. Because it was immature and stupid. It's what the audience likes and not critics. But it's fun. That's what it's supposed to be. Yeah. It's like, you know, going to see an orchestra and you're upset that it's not Slayer.

Right. It's the same thing. It's like you know what it is. You don't have to like it. But if you don't like it, maybe you're not the right person to be reviewing it. Because obviously there's an entertainment value to this that a lot of people like. It'd be like somebody who hates comic books reviewing a comic book. That's not your thing.

Right. For some people, comic books like reviewing a comic book like that's not your thing right like for some people comic books are awesome you know but it's one of those things where you're a fool if you like this why do you like this you know what's wrong with you brian i was always a fan growing up his music slap a joe slap slap a joe the hanukkah song yeah hey do you have that apple ultra watch is that what that is oh Oh, yeah. Ooh. It's awesome.

It's way better. You know why it's good? It's because it lasts like three days. You know, my problem with the regular Apple watch is having to forget to put it on the charger at night and stuff like that. I don't even remember the last time I charged it. I like when it has that cool red color.

Yeah, the red color is nice. That looks nice, dude. That does look nice. You just touch it. You make phone calls with cool red color. Yeah, the red color is nice. That looks nice, dude. That does look nice. You just touch it. You make phone calls with it and shit. Yeah. Oh, that's the best, especially if you're working out or if you just don't want to bring your phone. You could just take calls on here and text on here.

Sometimes I'll just leave my phone at home if I'm going out and going to a restaurant or something. What's super underrated is the talk-to- yeah it works great it's amazing how good it works yeah it works like that's most of the text I send like if I'm in the car and someone sends me a text message I don't have to take my hands off the steering wheel yeah you just start the hey Siri and just tell that bitch what to do yeah and for a comedian it's one of the best tools ever because you can sit there with a voice recorder on you you know, when you're on stage and just record right into the, you know. Yeah, right next to your microphone. Yeah.

Recording your sets is so fucking important, man. It's the best way to remember shit, the best way to get a third-party perspective. You get to look at your shit from outside and listen to it. It's important. Yeah. You were the first person to tell me to do it on the phone and on your watch. You could do it on both. Yeah.

Just got to put it in airplane mode. Yeah. And then you get two versions of it. Yeah. And I usually put it on the stool, the phone on the stool facing the audience. So you get the audience kind of sound. And then, you know, have this for your microphone. And you can mix it.

Hmm. Yeah. What, do you get a message there? Yeah. So you get microphone. And you can mix it. Hmm. Yeah. What do you get a message there? So you get distracted. That's the problem. You're constantly getting emails and text messages. Well, you put it in the airplane mode.

Does it send pictures? Can you get a dick pic on that? Yeah, I could get a dick pic. Yeah. So they send images. You can see images on that watch. Yeah.

You can. Yeah. That's a game changer. Yeah. It's, you know, and like, I know everybody, uh, it's you know and like i know everybody uh loves you know fancy expensive like rolexes and stuff and that's great you know if you're going

to a nice place or something but they're not functional there's so much you could do on this watch you know it's like why wouldn't you want to be able to you know get alerts or check take phone calls or record something you know especially like if you're like in a bad situation say like you know just hit record on your watch real quick and they don't even know you're fucking recording them you know stuff like that that and also like you could you get gps on it right yeah gps figure out where you're going yeah uh if i fall down it will call you know 9-1-1 does that ever happen accidentally no No, I haven't had it happen. Blackout while jerking off? No. Cops show up?

I'll tell you one thing it does, though. When I'm playing virtual reality, I'll get constant high heart rate things because it's like you're sitting still. You should not be having a high heart rate. And I'm like, I'm fucking flying right now. So what do you do? You take it off? Yeah.

There needs to be a VR mode because it's so fucking annoying. But they're good for fitness apps too, right? Yeah. Are they good at reading? The old one, the problem is like I have tattoos and it doesn't see, the old one didn't see through the tattoos very good.

Oh yeah. It's all, that's fine now. They fixed that. Yeah, they fixed it. And it tracks everything constantly. Like it tells you how many steps, stairs have you taken every day, how long you...

I think it's such a good blood oxygen meter that it's, like, an official medical device, or it's better than most medical devices. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah. You can get, what's it called, a heart, the heart thing. Chest strap? EKG or whatever.

Oh, it does EKGs? Yeah. What? Yeah. What? Yeah. What? Yeah. Really? Yeah.

I thought they had, like, strap shit to your chest. I mean, it's not the best one, but it's more for, like, an old person. It'll tell you, hey, something's different about the way your heart's beating today. You might want to go fucking see someone about this. But, like, does Whoop do that, too? No. It's not the same kind of thing. Really?

And you're at a store, forget your wallet, oh here, tick, tick. Oh yeah. Check out with my watch. I love paying shit with my phone. Oh, it's the best.

It makes me feel like I'm in the future. It's so much safer too. Look at it, put it on the thing. So much safer also because people with credit card skimmers

and stuff like that. Plus it's just cool. It is cool. You pay for shit with your fucking phone. It's an ECG, we're not an EKG. ECG. It is cool. You pay for shit with your fucking phone. It's an ECG, we're not an EKG. ECG.

What is ECG? Records the timing and strength of the electrical signals that make your heart beat. By looking at an ECG, a doctor can gain insights about your heart rhythm and look for irregularities. How to use the ECG app. Wow. That's incredible. It's also interesting, like I do the sleep tracking. So it shows me how

many times I wake up, how deep my sleep is. I get a report every time I wake up. Is the functionality of that one different in that way than the regular Apple Watch? Or is it just a battery thing and some more features? It's battery and it's also like scuba diving and it's got a

couple little things here and there. This is definitely the way to go. It's bigger, too. It's supposed to be super durable, too. Yeah. Like people smack it against things to show you. Yeah. I recommend it highly. Isn't it nuts that sapphire is durable?

Mm-hmm. The crystal, you'd think, like, what is that? It's fucking glass. Yeah, but it's strong as a diamond or something like that, right? Strong as... Nah, not that strong. No? No, I don't believe so.

Strong as fuck, though. Yeah. That's officially strong as fuck. Strong as a diamond or something like that, right? Strong as... Nah, not that strong. No? No, I don't believe so. Strong as fuck, though. Yeah. That's officially. Strong as fuck. Strong as fuck. Let's wrap this up, young Brian. Yeah. Good times, buddy.

Good times. A lot of fun. Good seeing you. Kill Tony every Monday on the YouTube channel and also live at Vulcan if you can get a ticket. That shit sells out quick, which is amazing. I think we put like three months up recently, and I think it sold out in like 20 minutes.

You guys are on fire. It's the best fucking show to go see in front of an audience. For that kind of a thing, there's nothing like it. And it also launches comics. Think of how many comics have launched from Kill Tony. And it's just you and Tony together and Lucas and fucking William and everybody, the regulars and Hans, and like fuck and it's just you and tony together and lucas and fucking william and everybody that the regulars and hans and like fuck it's good yeah it's such a good show a lot of fun and we've been having so many you know a lot of people thought when we moved to austin you know

we were the show was gonna fucking be shit and not be as good because of dude we get we've had some of the best guests just here in austin every week it's so crazy it's a thing now and I think also in the comedy world it's achieved escape velocity where people just want to come to it and it's just a fun thing to do to be a guest to do stand-up on it

and it really can shape careers and also it teaches comics to be really funny in one minute you can't be self-indulgent you can't try to push an agenda you gotta just be funny you have one minute and if you do that you canindulgent. You can't try to push an agenda. You gotta just be funny. You have one minute. And if you do that, you can have a real career in stand-up comedy.

It's like one of the best launching paths for stand-up that's ever existed. There's never been anything like it for young comics to learn that fast and that easy. It's school for it. If you want to be a comic, you better watch Kill Tony. It'll teach you everything. And it's fucking humbling.

It's humbling for people that think they can do stand-up, and they do one minute and find out they can't. But it's also like watching David and Tony roast each other. Yeah, it's ridiculous. It's like, Jesus Christ, these guys are good. Brutal. Those guys are so good at fucking with each other, and they both laugh at each other's things when they say things,

and they do it every week. There's got to be hours of david lucas and tony hinchcliffe just fucking with each other which is hilarious off the cup and with the band behind them when someone nails it that's me that's me on the ipad that's not the band no yeah it's ebony. Oh, you do that too. Ding, ding, ding. Yeah. Yeah, it's the most gay and fat jokes you will ever hear. And the bear when you've gone over your time.

Meow. Yeah. Meow when you're on the fucking fence. Yeah. We even have a Joe Rogan soundboard. Jamie's on it. And once in a while, we'll have you call in. That's hilarious.

All right right my brother i love you to death love you buddy you're the best um again kill tony it's on youtube it's uh monday nights at the vulcan uh is it just red band on instagram and everything red band on everything r-e-d-b-a-m bye everybody Thank you.