The Joe Rogan Experience - #1924 - Andrew Santino

Episode Date: January 12, 2023

Andrew Santino is a standup comedian and actor. He's the host of the "Whiskey Ginger" podcast and co-host of the "Bad Friends" podcast with Bobby Lee. Look for his new comedy special "Andrew Santino: Cheeseburger" is now streaming on Netflix. www.andrewsantino.com

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. Hello, Andrew Santino. Hello, Mr. Joseph Rogan. How are you, sir? Good, brother. What's crack-a-lackin'? Nothing, man. Had so much fun last night. Thank you. Appreciate it. Had a fun show. Welcome to God's country. It was wonderful. Me, you, Brian Simpson, Tony. Fun times. So fun, dude. Cheers, brother.

Cheers. Cheers to you. Hans Kim. Yeah, Hans Kim. That's the first time I've seen him live. He's a funny motherfucker. Dude, I thought when he walked in there. What is that? A little bit of balconess. When he walked in the room, he took off his helmet, and he had a jacket on, and I was like, this dude bought a bike, huh? I was like, what kind of bike do you have? He's like, it's a scooter. I was like, oh. He goes, it's very fuel efficient.

That's how he thinks. Dude, he's got the getup, though. He has the helmet, the jacket, matched his shoes. How's that for sure? You need to get him a motorcycle. He's got to get a bike. Well, there was a bike out back, and I was like, oh, is that Hans' bike? That's a nice bike.

You know what? He should have a Harley. Mm-hmm. Hans should get a bike. Well, there was a bike out back, and I was like, oh, is that Hans' bike? That's a nice bike. You know what he should have? A Harley. Mm-hmm. Hans should have a Harley. Big handlebars. So many. No, no, those are stupid. You can't steer.

Why would you drive around in a bike that's, like, very important to get the fuck out of the way of stuff, and your arms are up like this? Like, you do not have good leverage. Although, if you're lanky, it looks cool. Like, lanky dudes, it's kind of like a vibe for them. You know what I mean? It's like a style choice. I have a real problem with those handlebars.

Yeah. Well, you're not the tallest guy. That's true too. That's tough. But even if I was, I mean, even if you made it to my body. Yeah, like here. Yeah. Yeah, it's still stupid.

It still looks dumb. Like this. This you could steer. Right there. Like the race car, the racing bike guys, why do they have their handlebars down there? Why? Because that's the best way to steer. Yeah, it's efficient. Look at that.

Come on, son. That's fucking preposterous. Yeah, but dude, the style is like there's something about it that makes me go, that's fucking wild. There's something about, well, that's not terrible. No. Like what that guy's got in that fucking, the front of that thing is sick That is sick

Hans on that, that'd be sweet Hans on one with a skull, and look at the back end of it Look at all that metal and shit Look, I like Hans, he's putting that thing down in three hours No, Hans can handle things Hans is a black belt in Taekwondo Is he? What was that skull one?

That is wild They do some wild shit with bikes. Yeah, that's right. I went for a period of time where I took motorcycle classes, and I was ready to ride a bike. But then a dude that I worked with on Fear Factor crashed and fucked up his shoulder. And then Frank Mir, who worked for the UFC, he got hit by a car and broke his leg and took him out of action. He was really never the same again. He was one of the same again he was

like one of the best in the world he's one of the best in the world for a long time even after that but that was like in the prime of his life yeah he got his femur shattered to the point where they i mean it was when you get your femur shattered it's touch and go whether or not you lose your leg yeah and he wasn't the same guy after that that like fighting it took a long time before he really got his groove back did you have a bike did you ever no no so then that happened and then a friend of mine saw somebody get hit on a bike all within like two weeks while i was taking classes and i was like fuck this and a bunch of the guys that i worked with on fear factor we all went to the classes

together and then you know a couple guys that worked in production and one of the guys that was a stunt guy and we all were like hey let's get bikes and then one of them kept it one one takes his fucking bike everywhere now and I always envy him yeah that rebel that wild motherfucker he just rides his bike he said it's the best he goes I'm never in traffic he goes I ride my bike everywhere he's a single guy yeah he just gets around i thought about it man over the years but i'm sketched out about other people my one of my closest childhood friends him and his wife both rode professionally like he would do motocross and all that shit and trick shows internationally that's where he met his wife overseas and they both gave it up because

she i don't know if she was with them or saw it happen. One of her good friends die on a bike and she was like, that's it. Never, never again. And both of them, and dude, he was the whole time I knew this kid, when we were teenagers, he was a fucking nutbag. I mean, he loved bikes, love anything with two wheels that he could fly. He loved it. And then as soon as that happened, it was like, never, ever. Fast cars, though, that's it.

Fast cars, you have a little more protection. Well, a lot more protection. Yeah, you can get in an accident and not get hurt at all. I was telling you, somebody rear-ended my Porsche back in L.A. and didn't get hurt. That was a fascinating time because I was doing a lot of yoga. I was doing yoga like three times a week, and I did it that day. And when the guy hit my car i was like

well what are you gonna do like literally didn't it didn't it's it was wild i was like this is fascinating i'm not mad this dude the guy didn't have a license he was illegal and i go what are you doing man and he goes how to work i'm like it's good answer it's fucking solid answer the guy has to work and i'm putting myself in his shoes. I'm like, the fuck would I do if I snuck over here? Yeah, fuck it. I'd fucking drive too, man. He just, unfortunately, he was on his phone, and they had stopped the lanes to move everybody into one lane,

and he didn't see it in time, and he slammed on his brakes and just fucking plowed into me. I got hit in my neighborhood. The woman, it was, this is my first, like, car accident. I got hit I got hit in my neighborhood the woman it was this is my first like car accident I've been like

fender bender stuff you know what I mean but this was like actually we got hit on our side and I time slowed down a little bit like it was creepy as shit

because I hit the brakes I had enough time to brake horn turn I did it almost like simultaneously like and I started to slide away from her

because I could see she wasn't looking. She came flying out of a driveway. Her head was the other way. And as soon as she turned, I swear to God, like out of a fucking movie,

like I zoomed in on her eyes. Like I saw her fucking eyes and then smoked us right in the side. Everybody was fine, but that was like the first time I got into like a real car accident.

Legitimate. Because I've been, you know, nicked, bumped, whatever. But nothing like that. That was. I had my Land Cruiser built with rock sliders and metal bumpers just in case it got hit. Yeah. Because when you have a Land Cruiser and it's elevated, so it's elevated. It's got like a four inch lift.

Yeah. And like serious off-road. It's an apocalypse car. It's got a giant gas tank I literally got it because I had like I don't trust LA Yeah, I'm like shit goes sideways you gotta be able to drive over these hills Yeah, I need something that you get me the fuck out of here Yeah, like something like if you're on a road and then like the did you hear about those people that died in?

California this is not I don't think you could have done anything in this circumstance But they were trapped on a road during a wildfire. And the wildfire was moving so fast, it killed everybody that was on the road. No. Burned them alive in their cars. That's where you get a Land Cruiser. Yeah, but even then it wouldn't have helped. It was a bad example.

You're trapped. I wouldn't be trapped there too. But the point is, like, if you have a car, you can't go that way or that way. Like, you're not going over hills, you know But if you have like a legitimate four-wheel drive off-road vehicle, it opens up a lot of terrain to you You can move around better. Yeah, and just a dumb thought but I was like, okay and also Steel all around it. So like if someone plows into me from the side They're going right into those giant steel rock sliders.

Everything's metal around you. So it's really good for side impacts. How much longer until you get a jet pack? I'm not getting a jet pack. Come on, dude. No, I will not be an early adopter of a jet pack. Oh, I do. I don't skydive.

If I had the money, I would jet pack the fuck everywhere. They only go for... I knew this dude back when I used to do the radio in Denver. And they had this fucking guy who was a jetpack guy. And this guy had been using these experimental jetpacks and he had no knees. His knees were destroyed. Because you have to land. Because he had fucking blown his knees out.

Yeah. But this guy kept doing it. So like before the launch, this guy has to strap his knees in. So he has these crazy braces and strapping his knees down and Velcro and this. I go, what are you doing? And he goes, dude, I've blown both my knees out. They're both useless. But he's still flying around in this fucking jet pack.

I would do it. Fuck yeah. Back then, it could only go up in the air for 30 seconds. Yeah, but now they last a long time. I saw the dude doing it over the—you have to look it last a long time. I saw the dude doing it over the... You have to look it up how long... I saw a guy doing it over a body of water. Legitimately, it looked like two minutes.

He was just chilling above the water. They have some with wings now. Have you seen the ones with wings? No. Yeah. See, dude, this is what I want. They caught some dude flying around near the airport with it. There was reports of him.

In restricted airspace? Yeah. The one place you can't go? Flying near where jets go This fucking crazy asshole Psycho I want to be near jets Imagine doing ecstasy

And flying around At jetpack Oh fuck it LAX jetpack mystery Pirate support Seeing man with jetpack Flying near planes Above LA

That's so wild See that's awesome Remember we were I used to have a joke about it Where the fuck are the jetpacks? This was in like 2005. Well, we're here. I thought we'd have jetpacks and robot fuck dolls.

That's what I thought we'd have by now. Well, you were two for two, man. Of course. What? Air car? What is this? It says it's CES. Oh, my God.

It says it's really, it works. And I don't know how we're going to use it, but it's a four-seater air car. It's like a drone. Does it not have a video of a test run or some shit? I believe it does, yeah. It says pre-order. I ain't pre-ordering shit, bro. I need to hear some reports.

Yeah, dude. Test it out, man. Take it for a couple trial runs. It's like an Uber version of it. Why? So you can just get it? Oh, that's cool. You remember that rental car company?

Does that company still around? Where you had an app and you could just rent a car and they would drive it right to you? Yeah, I think so. They're still around? That's cool how it transforms. Yeah, it's a drone. It's like a drone car. Oh, my God.

And drones today, have you seen those competitions where they have drone competitions? It's unreal. Where they have cones and poles and holes you have to fly through. Those things are incredible now. Get stoned and watch the ones where they go through the buildings. Dude, it's like you're on a ride. It'll go through building windows sideways, flip upside down, go through different hallways. This shit is insane.

That would be so dope in VR. That's what I mean. He'll flip upside down, go through another little tiny holes. That's how they're controlling it. They have a headset on, like a VR headset, and they're watching it in first person. Oh, my God. The control this guy has is incredible. Yeah, it's unreal.

These things are amazingly agile. So this is a- See if you can find those competitions, Jamie. Because I was watching them on Instagram the other day that where these guys were flying through Doorways and little you know like they had made a doorway, and it's like they have an obstacle course Oh, this one's all lit up with neon. That's so cool Oh my god Hard to be to memorize the course to know where the turns are cuz well you remember when we used to play quake dudes would

Memorize maps yeah, I guess same thing. Well, this looks like he's following that light. Do you see that light in front of him? There's probably one in front. That's like a trail in front of him. So maybe that's. I know they also have the, like, they have this. I also saw someone doing a sim, a fishing sim, where he had a real life fishing pole hooked up to a device

that was tracking like a tuna he was pulling. But they have these also where you can just practice this with a real handset and you're flying it like it would be but it's all fake it's on a computer the first question i'd be like so when i crash this what does it cost because i'm crashing that fucking thing immediately that's so hard well to get to this guy's level you have to fuck around with regular drones for a long time what do they cost i don't i literally don't know a couple thousand there's another thing i just saw it looked like a very goofy video online.

I'll try to find it real quick. It's like these, but they're attached to a cord like a kite, and it's a league where they're racing somewhere. It said they do dog fights. You know, it's literally like everything else. We were just practicing driving golf balls out there earlier. I can't even hit it. I'm missing.

I'm whacking the ground. I don't know how to do it. You guys are giving me pointers and shit, but I don't. I've even hit it. I'm missing. I'm whacking the ground. I can't. I don't know how to do it. And we're all, you guys are giving me pointers and shit, but I don't, I've never done it. I've done it. Went to Topgolf a couple times and just whacked the ball. I don't know what I'm doing. But when I'm watching you guys, it's fascinating. I'm like, how are you doing it?

Because you hit it so fucking hard. I was trying to show off for Jamie a little bit. Dude, you can drive a fucking golf ball. That shit is impressive as fuck. Your technique is amazing. I want you to show off for Jamie a little bit. Dude, you can drive a fucking golf ball. That shit is impressive as fuck. Your technique is amazing. I want you to come with me. It's so smooth. I would love for you to see it live.

I want to see it live because Jamie talks a lot of shit. I want to see you, Jamie, and Hinchcliffe going at it. Fuck yeah. No, but I'm saying. Get baked and drive the car. Hell yeah. If you see pros live, though, I don't know if you've ever seen pros in person, but it's the way that you're even this gap of you being like, I don't ever golf.

And then you're like, wow, dude, you're good at that. When I watch those guys, it's the same feeling when you go to professional sports and you're like, that's un-fucking-real how good they are. It's like shocking to watch live. And if you are really good yourself and you are really good at golf, then you can really appreciate a pro. Oh, yeah, dude. Whereas I can kind of appreciate it, but I don't know what's going on. It's sort of like with the UFC. Right.

Right? When dudes scramble on the ground and someone's an elite jiu-jitsu black belt, the people that are practicing jiu-jitsu are like, holy shit, look at that guy. Yeah. Like Charles Oliveira. Watch how he cinches this up. Holy shit. Right.

When you see golfing, or we had this guy, Fedor Gorst came in. How old is Fedor? 23? 22? 22? 22, 23 years old. If not the best pool player in the world, top three for sure. We came in here and we played him on that table. It was wild. Did you stand a little

bit of a chance? You're good. I won the first two games. I ran out the first game and I won the second game. Take that, Fedor. I got lucky. He gave me a shot in You're good. I won the first two games. I ran out the first game and I won the second game. Take that, Fedor. I got lucky. Well, he gave me a shot in the first game. I think he broke and didn't have a shot on the object ball. He pushed out and I ran out. Where's he from?

Something like that. He missed. I ran out. I forget. He's from Russia, originally. He's got a green card playing pool in the United States. Dude, he is incredible. The level between me and him, who's like, I'm like a B player. Probably like you are in golf. I'm like a B player.

And then watching him play, like, holy fuck, man. It's a different world. It's humiliating. He's so good, and his cue ball position is so perfect. Like, when he's moving the ball around, it's so effortless and smooth. And that ball just slides right where it's supposed to go. And then it knocks that ball in, the ball slides right where it's supposed to go. And it's all the same speed.

It's just this smooth, effortless stroke. Oh my God, it's amazing. But that's what you do. That's the difference. That's what I was like. I'm mediocre at best at pool, but it's because I don't have a, my fluidity is off with that. I'm not good at it. Where like yours is like that.

That's the same thing with golf. It's like, it's all fluidity. I can play, if I played every day for like a year, I could be a shitty pro. At pool? Yeah. Yeah. could be a shitty pro at pool yeah like i go to tournaments and you know get knocked out and like i'd be in like the top 32 of a 50 man tournament but you do good enough yeah but like i could never keep up with those guys to keep up with guys like fedor first of all

you have to be practicing eight hours a day for years yeah it's not just that i could pick up and go eight hours a day and be as good as he is. It's not going to happen. The gap is so far. I would have to be like fully dedicated to being a professional pool player because all those guys that are the top of the top, they play eight, 10 hours a day. Shane Van Boning, who is one of the best, if not the best in the world, he's right there with Fedor. I want to have a challenge match with him and Fedor here on that table and just stream it When when he he would practice his break for five six hours in a row Just rack the balls like a robot blam rack the balls like a robot

Blam rack the balls just over and over and no and he has a hearing aid is he's deaf. He was born deaf He just shuts his hearing aid off. So he can't hear anything. All he does is like focus on the task. That's fucking wild. And he's a monster. He's the most evil breaker in the world. Because he'll play 10 ball and he'll break and make six balls on the break.

So you're playing 10 ball, but he's playing four ball. And he's not like a big giant guy either. It's just a smooth is the way you're driving the golf ball that's smooth perfect technique that's what he has when he drives the cue ball it's amazing because you don't need to be i've noticed some of those guys i mean i've no almost nothing about pool but anytime i've seen it like either you've shown me is they don't not all these guys are big boys but they hit the fucking shit out of it, even if they're smaller guys. They let the cue stick do the work for them, though.

When they're doing it, they're not muscling it. It's like an acceleration of the arm. There's a thing called a slip stroke where you actually let the cue go, and you kind of catch it at the bottom of the cue. A lot of these old-time, really smooth players, they would play with a slip stroke. And when you watch the guy with a slip stroke, you're like, oh, my God. You have to be so advanced to be able to play smooth and effortless with a slip stroke. You let go of it for a fraction of a second? You let go of it.

Fuck it. You let go of it. I've done that on accident. It slips out of your hand. You catch it. But it's because they're cradling that stick. They're not gripping it. Like if you watch someone who doesn't know how to play, they grab it like a baseball bat.

But if you watch like Fedor or you watch like Efren Reyes, like the best of the best, they cradle it in their hand. They're just barely holding on to it. And they're letting their arm move and letting the stick do the work. I'm choking it out every time. Watch this. Google Shane Van Boning makes six balls on the break. You watch this dude break, and it's, I know it's just breaking in pool,

but it's perfection. It's like something, it's like you ever see Jiro Dreams of Sushi? I love. They made that dude work on the eggs for like a year. That's all he did was try to perfect making his egg dish. And the one son did it forever. Still didn't promote him a doesn't promote him

No, he's like not good enough She's not man. Well, it's like that but this guy's got that with the break shot Yeah So it's like he's there's a Japanese term for that when you practice this one thing over and over and over again in an attempt To achieve enlightenment watch this motherfucker. So this is 10 ball. There's 10 balls there. Watch this. Watch the perfection of this.

Watch. Boom. See how smooth that shit is? Look at those balls just scattering, son. What the fuck? Exactly. That's what I'm saying. It's like perfection.

Like he just knows where to hit it. He knows what speed to hit it. He knows what side. He's hitting not even flat on the one ball. He's hitting it slightly to the side. Well, that one he hit it pretty flat, actually. Is this the cat that was born deaf? Yep, he's deaf.

Yeah, and when he plays, he shuts his hearing aid off. He doesn't hear shit. You can call him whatever the fuck you want. He's out there running out on you, son. So this is the opposite of that in golf, where they're going to play in a couple weeks in Phoenix. Yeah, that's right. It's called the Waste Management Open.

They build this giant arena around this hole. It's like 17,000 people. And they're all cheering while you play. It's a fucking party. It's like the opposite of golf. Oh, wow. And this guy hit a hole in one. But how many holes is it?

That's just on the par three. It's a normal tournament. And everybody goes, Oh, my God, that's incredible? That's just on the par three. It's a normal tournament. Oh, my God. That's incredible. That's incredible. People start throwing beer from the stands. That's incredible. See, they're all throwing shit on the...

See that? Adam, come on. That's incredible. With all that pressure to do that is pretty fucking wild. Amazing. This is what golf should be. That's a great idea. Who came up with this idea?

These guys did in Phoenix. Waste management. Literally, the trash company, they sponsor this. That's the best golf ever. That's real golf. So pool has a thing that's not as grand as that, but it's called the Moscone Cup. And the difference between the Moscone Cup and everything else is the crowd cheers and they go nuts. And it's USA versus Europe.

So it's teams. So if you and I were on team USA you would hit a ball like you would hit the four ball and give position for me to play the five ball and then I'd give you the six ball and we go back and forth like that so you and I would be playing against two people from Europe and everyone's screaming and cheering Europe, Europe, USA, USA it gets wild but then they all quiet down when the guy's about to shoot and then it's loud again

it's loud again he makes the ball yeah that's just like see if you can find Moscone Cup highlights yeah find Moscone Cup highlights

because they now everybody kind of knows about it and it's like the one pool tournament where you're everyone's gonna scream yeah

like there's no quiet in the crowd there's no quiet nobody says everyone's screaming but they all. Like there's no quiet in the crowd. There's no quiet. Nobody says. Everyone's screaming. But they all know the rhythm of it. Watch this. Dude, that's awesome.

So people are screaming and cheering while these guys are playing. That's pool, man. Yeah. That's what it should be. Let's fucking go! Losing it. Look at this.

That was the most awkward chest bump ever. You know why? Because they didn't want to bang up their cues. Right. They didn't want to... Put it to the side. Watch how he chest bumps. They're both like, don't touch my cue.

Don't fuck my cue up. See? The cue. Easy, easy, easy with the cue. Easy with the cue. That's Josh Filler. He's one of the best in the world, and he's got a wood shaft. So he's got it like, hey.

Some guys have carbon fiber shafts. They're a little more loosey-goosey because you can kind of bang those around. But wood shafts get a little nick in it, and then you feel it when you're playing. It bothers the shit out of you. Just a little tiny. The tiniest thing, you can't even find it. You can't even find it by looking at it. You have to almost be playing.

And then when you feel it, you stop. And you go, where's that little motherfucker? And then you got to spit on it. You get some water and you put it on the wood and the wood will swell back up to where it is. And then you burnish it. You get it all hot. And you put a little bit more water on. The wood swells a little bit more.

I can't help it. Come on, dude. on it make it swell you got to spit on that wood and make it swell spit on it you know what that reminds me of the the the they just posted a clip of um a dart championship you know uh and when they lose it in the background and it was the it was like uh i don't they call it like a nines, two guys have nines, or something like that, like only nine darts. So two guys both had nines. And then the first guy obviously won. But it was like, I guess this doesn't happen that often that it's only nines. Do you know what I mean? And they posted it somewhere. Oh, right here.

Watch this fucking clip, Joe. That's insane. 180! I love these announcers. Look at the rhythm. Oh my god. That's so accurate. That's so crazy. This is insanity. That's insanity. Look how casual, too. It's like, dude, they fucking lose it.

You know what's funny? I know that dude probably has an English accent, but he totally looks like he'd be from Kentucky. Yeah. That guy looks... Oh, he fucked up, sir! First miss. That guy looks English,

but this dude looks like he's straight out of Kansas. Look at him. That's a corn-fed Englishman. Yeah, except it's a big, big boy. Look at him. That dude could be at a Luke Combs concert. Double 12. So sick.

Suck it. Suck it. You got to have a crowd. Dude, that's so fun. I want to go to one of these so bad one time. Pool gotta have a crowd. Dude, that's so fun. I want to go to one of these so bad. One time. Pool needs a fucking crowd. They have a league starting up in about a year that's going to be indoor golf like this.

Monday nights, like Monday night football event, they're going to have 15,000 people watching golf. Like we just played on a simulator. Yeah. And it's going to be like Tiger Woods, Roy McIlroy, the best golfers in the world doing it. Wow. I wonder, as I was thinking, I was like, can you do a pool that way? You could do. 5,000 people.

You could, but people. You could, but people. You'd have to have. The reason why the Moscone Cup is so good is because you have this USA versus Europe rivalry. And it goes back and forth. And I think the Europeans have been winning more lately. Oh. Can we recruit?

Yeah. Can we draft? Well, the best. Catholic school. We have the best people already. It's like, you couldn't get better people. Like, the people that are already competing, like, if you wanted to start your own team, you could recruit.

Yeah. But I mean, like, Team USA already has the best players in the United States, and Team Europe has the best players in Europe. I meant, like, in sometimes the Olympics, an American might end up playing in Italy because they have some traced grandfather. Yeah, you can say.

Yeah, maybe we can get some Filipino cats, you know, come over here. We'll sneak in some ties. There's Filipino guys that you never even heard of that will fucking beat anybody in the world. It's crazy how good they are. Yeah, why the Philippines? There's a lot of dudes out of the Philippines. It's crazy how good they are. Yeah, why the Philippines? There's a lot of dudes out of the Philippines. It's really

popular over there. Efren Reyes, who's a legend, he's like the Babe Ruth of pool. When he goes to the Philippines, that guy gets fucking mobbed. There's all these matches where him playing, he gambles still. He's old as fuck. He can't play as good as he used to, so guys

have to actually give him handicaps. They give him spots. If we're playing 10-ball, say he would have to make the 7 and out, and these guys would have to make the 10. Or he'd have to make the 8 and they'd have to make the 10. That's a lot of gives, right? It's a lot of gives. But that's just

so they can gamble. I wouldn't say the 7 and out, but maybe the 8-ball at a 10. But for a guy like me, if I was going to play a pro, that's how you'd play him. They would have to give you some sort of handicap, and that's what they would do. Like guys, let's say you get the seven and the breaks.

That means you could break every game, and you could win with the seven or the nine. Ooh. Yeah, it's a big spot. What he's really saying is, I'm so much better than you. Yeah, he's saying, I'm going to lock you up,

I'm going to run out on you, I'm going to put you in a coma, I'm going to win all the games. Could you keep, like in golf, you keep a handicap. Can you keep a handicap in pool? No, there's a thing called the Fargo scoring. And Fargo scoring, it calculates how often you miss, bad position play. It calculates scratching on the break, all these different things.

And you get like a number. Right. That's your Fargo score. Bad safeties, if you have a bad safety and leave the ball out, that counts against your score. What's your Fargo score. Bad safeties. If you have a bad safety and leave the ball out, that counts against your score. What's your Fargo score? I don't know. I don't know. But I was never good. I was always B level. I never got to other. I've won tournaments before

like a local tournament, but that's against other B players. What would a good Fargo score be? I think it's in the 900s. Oh, the more is better. Yeah, yeah. It's like 100 is the perfect score and some of these guys they'll win matches with like 937 which is just insanity that's not just insanity they're just not missing they're just we watched this match with that kid fedor where he ran out seven

racks in a row to win this set on this guy in this like high pressure tournament in a row in a row just broke and ran out perfectly seven seven games in a. And you're like, what the fuck? He did that to me out here. He did it multiple times. He broke and ran out like four or five racks in a row. We're just sitting there watching this guy break and run out, break and run out, break and run out. A clinic. Yeah, see, that's great. It's like I love that with everything, man.

I love when a guy can do that. I love when people can do that, especially in something that I don't even do. Because this way, like, I don't have to get obsessed and run home and try to practice. I can just enjoy it. Yeah. You know, like when I watch Gary Clark Jr. play guitar, I get obsessed watching someone who's so good do something I have zero. I don't understand what's happening. Right.

I know you're doing this and the fingers move. I don't know what's happening other than that. I just love that, that I can just watch it. I like it if I know I don't have that much interest in it because then I don't get jealous. And I don't go, I want to pick one up so fucking bad. Oh, yeah. That's a problem with golf. See, I can't get involved with golf because I know I would love it.

You will. Everybody loves it. It's so fun. Nobody takes up golf and goes, this sucks. Everybody's like, dude, I'm so obsessed. Like Tony became a fucking straight-up junkie Like Tony became a fucking straight up junkie. Jamie became a straight up junkie. I know, I see him.

Just from moving here. Fiending in the garage with the track man. The guy's out there, first of all, he starts out normal, right? Started out with just like a little piece of grass and his little computer set up. Now he's got a net around it and a new fucking radar system to tell how fast the ball's going. He's filming himself to make sure his technique is right. Are you checking your technique against something or no? No, just a feel.

Oh, you run shit through a program? Well, that's the next level. Yeah, that is the next level up. I can hook up three high-speed cameras to that. I can have my coach, if I had one, it goes right to his phone basically. Why don't you have a coach? You need a coach, Jamie. I've talked to a few people.

Shout out Chris Como. You do need a coach. Coaching is giant. I haven't actually been fully coached yet. I played pool for a long time before I got coached. I got coached a little bit a couple of times. I had a few lessons when I was starting out in the beginning, in the early days. But then I met this dude, Max Eberle, who's like a professional instructor and also like a top flight pro and he coached me

Like he he gave me actual lessons Yeah And when he gives you act like you learned so much you learn what you're doing wrong You learn why he's doing it this way you learned like position play What's the right way to move ball to another ball is everybody, you know, but like in golf like Everyone stroke can be different. Mm--hmm so like is there is there a Single like perfect stroke that I was trying to emulate no, so it's the same thing. Yeah, it's the same thing right Everything's all weird like there's a guy named Keith McCready

And he had like the greatest stroke of all time and his arm was like totally sideways It was totally fucked up like you're supposed to it's supposed to be like 90 degrees. Right. From your elbow down. If someone was teaching you, like if you watch a snooker player, for example, they call it snooker. Snooker. They're playing on a giant ass table with little tiny balls. They have to have perfect technique. The way they hit the ball is so straight and so smooth. And they make really good pool players.

A lot of those guys come over and start playing pool and dominate because they're so accurate because they're used to these little tiny balls and they're used to having this perfect stroke. But pool players, they do all kinds of different shit. Like some guys, you got like the guys who like have that slip stroke thing going on. You got guys who are like Keith McCready, who's the rarest of the rarest, totally sideways with his arm. Like his arm would be like this while he's playing. He wouldn't be playing like this.

But it's out here. It's out on the side. But it works. Because he learned how to play when he was a little kid and he couldn't reach the table. Oh, wow. So he had his arm up there like this. Oh, that's genius.

Because the table's where his chin is. Yeah. So he's learning how to play with his arm sideways. That's like the guy, Jamie, what's a Korean guy that swings out of his shoes? You know, a little Korean guy who literally- Flies out of his shoes? You should see this guy. It's the funniest shit you've ever seen. He is a

pro golfer who has a swing like a guy who started a month ago. And he literally will swing so hard his body will turn. He'll drop shit. Watch this guy. That's an easy one. This is...

But is he good? Yeah, he's good. Look at that. Look at how he falls down. That's an easy one. This is... That's just a 7-iron. That's not even a jerk. But is he good? Yeah, he's good. If you're the PGA... Look at that. Oh, my God. That's hilarious. Look at him fall down. That's hilarious. That's hilarious.

Look at it on the right, Joe. Straight down the middle. Oh, my God. 300 yards. Yeah, as long as it's repeatable. I mean, that's the thing with pool. It's repeatable. That's the thing with archery.

That's the thing with a lot of things. A lot of people have goofy archery stances. But it works. But if it's repeatable. That's the thing with archery. That's the thing with a lot of things. A lot of people have goofy archery stances, but it's repeatable. Yeah. The question is, is it repeatable under pressure? Because pressure is a fascinating thing because you just want it to be over. You have anxiety. You rush things. You fuck things up.

And you've got to learn how to stay inside your technique and inside your mindset and inside like your your pre-shot routine even under pressure so that's that's got to be the same with everything so like that's why it's really important to learn like great technique for if you have your own flair you should learn how to do it right first like there's thousands and millions of people have been doing this yeah they figured out how to do it right. You could have variations and deviations of that. But there's certain things like with Taekwondo, when I was teaching, it was very hard to teach someone who had already taken bad classes. So if someone had went to a karate school and they were kicking with their knee down and they had no power, it was all in the legs and not in the hips. And you would try to teach these people under pressure, they would always revert back to their earlier form.

Under sparring pressure. Under fighting. When they were fighting in competitions, they always, when shit would get wild, they'd always revert. And they would lose power. They'd lose speed. You lose a direct linear line to the attack point. You're deviating You have too much wit like we see people throwing looping punches. Okay, sometimes they work. Yeah, sometimes they work but

Most of the time you're better off if you have that as an option But you straight punch most of the time right you like your hooks are clean your straight punch is clean But every now and then you could do some wild shit and get away with it. But you have to learn how to do everything else first. Otherwise you leave too many openings. Yeah. You know, that's, I got, that's gotta be the same with golf. It's gotta be the same with everything.

Well, yeah, well, it's, you know, like if somebody had lessons before, the trick is what he knows is like, sometimes they have to untangle like a fucking phone wire. Right. What someone else has done to you because you can keep changing as you get older your body will change you know like tiger goes through it his back so he changed the way he swings like that's the same thing and your techniques have to change with time and your body and with your limits you know what i mean and guys will

pick a style kind of stick to it and then tweak it over time because it just you find you got to find the thing that like literally i i equate it to like when i used to when i started snowboarding learning how to go to your toe side everyone can heel side everyone can stop like this with their back to the mountain but face of the mountain is always so scary at first because you're gonna you feel like you're gonna catch an edge and hit your fucking head which you do when you're starting but once you learn your version of how to shift your weight, it's like, it's,

it's riding a bike cliche, but you immediately go, I know exactly how my body does that. Like I know you, I, you feel the moment you learn it, you go, Oh,

do you remember those hoverboards? We had the old studio. Oh yeah. Little wheelie thing. Yeah. Yeah. The first time I got on the thing, I could not fucking stand still.

Yeah. My friend Tate had to hold my arm. I was like, I was like falling. Like you've seen the video of Mike Tyson falling. Mike Tyson. Yeah. Mike still. Yeah. My friend Tate had to hold my arm. I was like, jeez. I was like falling. Like, you've seen the video of Mike Tyson falling? Yeah. Mike Tyson. Yeah.

Mike Tyson. Yeah. Who's a fucking better athlete than Mike Tyson? Falls on his ass riding one of those things. But then once I got the hang of it, dude, I could just cruise around. Yeah. It's like my body knew exactly what it did, and it just goes, oh, we got a program for that.

Yeah. They plug it in. Plug it in. And then all of a sudden, I could just, we were, Jamie and I were doing it all the time. But Jamie fell and broke his ass bone. Like, literally broke his ass bone. I was fucking around.

He's going to say he was fucking around, but he wasn't. He was cruising. Oh, he was definitely fucking around. What were you doing? He was always fucking around. I was trying to film and do his different stuff.

I just took my eye off the prize for a second. Did you break your tailbone for real? No, I got hurt. I don't think so. I got hurt, though, for sure. Bro, you were hurt for a year. I probably still am hurt. All right, you broke your tailbone. You broke your tailbone. I tried to cover it up. I got hurt, though, for sure. Bro, you were hurt for a year. Probably still am hurt. All right, you broke your tailbone.

You might try to cover it up. I know people that have broken their tailbone. It's real similar in all the, I mean, I'm not a doctor, but I think it's real similar. I fell on my side on my tailbone, technically, so it would have been something in my hip. No, you could break your tailbone by falling on your hip. If you hit, look, any time you're putting that kind of pressure on your hip where you're falling and all your weight is going down to concrete, which

is what it was. We have polished concrete floors. You're, it's immovable and you're hitting bone and all kinds of stuff goes crack. Yeah, it's gonna fucking hurt. Up here goes crack. There goes crack. When I fell skiing the last time I skied, I fucking cracked.

I got what's called an insufficiency fracture where it fractured at the top where my shin meets my cartilage. Yeah, I was like, fuck skiing. Fuck that. Fuck this. Well, that's like the first time you snowboard. You fall on your ass, dude. It hurts so bad. Yeah.

Because your body's not used to that kind of fall. Not since you were a baby learning how to walk was your ass squishy enough to bounce. Now you get older, dude. You break. Yeah, it hurts. My boy Shane Dorian, he's a world champion big wave surfer. He was snowboarding a year and a half ago, two years ago actually, and just blew his fucking knee out, man. Slammed into a tree.

And this is a guy who's a professional surfer. I think he tore his ACL and his MCL. He had to get surgery. And then we hooked him up with Ways to Well here in Austin. They stem-celled him and fixed his knee.

Fixed his shit fast. Well, fixed it after he'd gone through a lot of rehabilitation. But that was the big thing that really helped him and pushed him over the edge and got him back to it.

Yeah, it gets scary. That's when you're a fucking pro surfer to be doing that. That seems so insane to me. Yeah, but snowboarding is so fun. It must be so exciting. Riding down a fucking mountain is so fun. My buddy just broke a couple ribs. He was with his kids and we got this weird text chain that was like, hey, did you hear what happened?

You know, at first, whenever you hear skiing shit, I immediately are like, what the fuck happened? Right. Luckily, all he did was break a few ribs and, I mean, he's fucked up, but he's fine. You know what I mean? Bro, we lost Sonny Bono. I know, dude. God bless. We miss you, man.

Sonny Bono. We lost Sonny Bono to a fucking tree. Got him. The tree got him. The tree got his ass, Jeff. Boom. Don't fuck with those trees. Bro, that must be a horrible way to go.

I do not go in there. You see the tree and you know there ain't a goddamn thing you can do to stop that motherfucker. No thanks. Boom. I'm sticking to where I'm supposed to. Woo. People are ballsy that go off, you know. If you're really good, people do it all the time, but I don't need that shit.

Yeah. I don't need to clip a tree. There's just so many people get hurt skiing. I mean, it's very fun, but boy, there's a lot of orthopedic surgeons in Aspen. Yeah, they're like, keep skiing, man. Yeah. We love it. Keep going.

I want to buy a Ferrari. I want to buy a Ferrari. Come on. I want my sixth house, man. Get up to that. Get up to that mountain. Yeah, man. But you fucking, you get a thrill.

You get some juice out of it. The guy with the fucking jet pack is the reason why he had all those straps on his knees. I want that so bad, dude. Just get one for me, will you, so I can come use it? Find the jet pack with the wings. The guy flying a jet pack with wings. Because I saw one of those. I was like, oh, this is next level jet pack.

Because this is like a movie. Yeah. And then does he tip forward with the wings? Or does he stay upright? I'm not sure. This is a little different. This guy's got a wingsuit on with some jet-powered... Oh, fuck.

Holy shit. Oh, my God. How fucking... Oh, my God, that's so insane. That's nuts. The wingsuit's insane, period. Period. My boy Andy Stumpf had the world record at one point for the longest wingsuit flight.

How long was it? It's the same thing. Oh my God, look at how high this dude is. They dropped him out of space, though. I know that. Oh, Red Bull did that. I saw that, right? No, that's a different one.

Okay. Maybe it was Red Bull. Who did the Andy Stumpf one? See, there was a big sponsor. See, you can find Andy Stumpf. Because he was right. He was just outside of our world record. Jump.

Wingsuit. Squirrel suit. I caught a squirrel suit. Yeah, I think that was the one I saw. He jumps out of like a little cage. Yeah, that's it. That's Andy. So.

Oh, this wasn't the one I saw. Yeah. I saw the one from space. So he hops out this fucking thing. And, you know, look how high he is. That's so ridiculous. He's got oxygen on. oxygen on so high up there and he's such a psycho he loves that shit 17.5 miles geez wait what he flew 17.5 miles in that squirrel suit look at this literally has oxygen on There's no air up there, bitch. Yeah, 35,000 feet. 35,000 feet.

He's up there with a plane. That is so crazy. Oh, my God. He's going 141 miles an hour. That's as fast as you drive a golf ball. Yeah, dude. That's insane. No, you were driving.

What was your top one today? 164. Yeah, he was. What is the fastest you've ever done? I think the fastest on the track, man, was about 170, right around there. Wow. What's top of the food chain pro?

I think, look up what... I think Berkshire... 225? He's a long drive guy, though. Have you seen these guys? Well, I've seen those guys that do that thing where they step and they drive into it. Yeah. You know, those.

That's him. Is that him? Yeah, he's a long drive dude. And he. Show him in a long drive competition. Oh, my God. Go to a competition, Jamie, where he's outside, where you can see him hit it outside. Because it's like this, Joe.

Watch this ball flight. Look at that. I love the dude's hair. Yeah. 3 Like this, Joe. Watch this ball flight. Look at that. I love the dude's hair. 390 yards, Joe. That's so ridiculous. That's so far. But this guy's swing speed is, look, you see it right there.

217 ball speed. Club is 150. They send him to Mesquite, Nevada and they go down this range. Oh my god. And this range. Oh, my God. And this Justin James cat, he got 390? 390. So he's going to beat it. He's got eight chances to beat it.

Oh, my God. But you only get eight balls. That's it. He has to beat it within this. Otherwise, he's out. So that's why he'll take his time for a second and set up. He's on a clock, but you know. Bro, you got to love the hair.

Oh, he just cut it, though, sadly. No. Yeah, he cut it. Why would he do that? I don't fucking know. Look at that main 460-yard drives here. What? 460.

What? Watch this. Watch how he... And it's gotta be, Joe, inside these lines, too. So you can't just hit it anywhere. It's gotta be within this field. Look at that. That was just a cold 415.

Oh, my God. That's amazing. And that's swarming up. He was just a cold 415. Oh, my God. That's amazing. And that's warming up. He's just getting fucking started. Now I understand why Tiger would blow his back out doing this. Well, yeah. Yeah. That's exactly why.

Now I get it. So much torsion. Yeah. The best golfers in the world, you'll see, like guys like Ricky Fowler, size-wise, I mean. They're skinny guys. They're tiny guys, some of these guys. But they can pipe it because it's all torqued down.

It's all below. Right. A lot of guys think it's all upstairs. Everybody wants it to be like you want to fucking hit. You have a hammer, dude. Everybody wants to go this way. But the problem is it has so much to do with your lower body snapping you into the ball. This guy's probably the best.

Tiger says he's got the best swing. Roy has the best swing. And see how much torsion is in his lower body? See that? How it snaps his lower body through? That's incredible. Look at his technique, technique too look at the finish of it it's funny that that other guy's so wacky i know see but when you see that when you see that perfect rory's rory's top in the world that other guy is good but he's nowhere near this he's that guy's good but he's not this is different do

you know what i mean like yeah yeah that guy's to make money and do well for the rest of his life, but top, top shit, Rory's got to be. It's almost like a difference. Those dart guys, it's just if you throw a fastball baseball pitcher up there to just throw against them, but they're throwing those little darts at the thing, and the other guys just don't fast as fuck. Right, right, right.

Yeah. It is amazing watching people learn to do something that's really hard to do and getting really good at it. When you watch someone do acrobatics or you watch Cirque du Soleil, you're like, what the fuck? Absurd. How? Have you seen the one where they jump in the water? Which one?

The Cirque du Soleil Le Rev. Did you ever heard of this? No. Bro, I don't even know if it's around anymore. But when I went to Vegas one time, I got fucking baked out of my mind and went to see them. And dude, I audibly, like an old lady i'd be like ah because i got nervous they would jump in these little tiny tiny holes from like 70 feet up just into a little tiny but if they missed they're dead the floor moves underwater oh my god so you'll watch

it raise up underwater shift heights they'll climb up from one of the and acrobatically climb to the other one and then it'll drop into the water out of nowhere and then it'll climb up from one of the, and acrobatically climb to the other one, and then it'll drop into the water out of nowhere, and then it'll raise up a little tiny window they have to dive into. Dude, it's, have you seen, uh, LaRev, I think is what it was called. It will, I don't know if it's around, but if it's still around, go see it, because that was the wildest shit I've ever

seen. Oh, dude, every show to me has to be such a high level of precision. There is no, like, you know when, like like a band is like, dude, you missed that fucking. Right. You can't miss shit. You're not missing a chord.

It's your neck in the water. I saw it years ago. I saw the Beatles one at the Mirage. Oh yeah, I think I saw that. It's called Love. It's fucking great. Dude's on rollerblades

doing flips and shit too. But it's the music. It also, you sort of rediscover the music of the Beatles. You forget how good their music was sometimes. And when you hear it in that amazing arena where they have the Cirque du Soleil and the sound is incredible and the visuals are incredible,

you're like, these guys. Unreal. God damn. You watched the documentary, I'm sure, and it was like what shocked me the most. Yeah, what shocked me the most yeah what shocked me the most was how short of a time they were doing it yeah this wasn't like a 30 year span where you're like dude the band made hits forever no this was a little baby window they destroyed and then poof like that it's gone yoko ono yoko came in fucked it all up. I know. That's my Bobby Lee, dude. Came in and fucked it all up. Did you ever read the, um...

Did you ever read Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers? No, but I've heard you talk about it. It's a great book. Yeah. And one of the chapters in the book is about the Beatles. And it's about how the Beatles went to Hamburg, and they were playing in this trip club, and they were playing, like, eight hours a day. So they were playing so much, and they were so, like, tightly tuned. They went were playing so much and they were so like tightly tuned.

They went back to Liverpool a couple of years later and everybody's like, what the fuck happened? Yeah. Like what, they were just so tight and so smooth. Did they go to Hamburg just to get, just to like do a run? To work. They went to work.

And so they're doing these shows and they're performing together eight hours a day. And so they're writing all these new songs and they're performing and I together eight hours a day and so they're writing all these new songs and they're performing and i think they had to do covers too and they're just fucking tightly putting in their work man yeah just like tightly coordinated yeah like cirque du soleil with music watching you know watching paul uh make like like improv Watching Paul improv, so to speak, get back. Watching that was, I don't think I've ever seen any footage of something so magical happening that they were able to capture. When he's like, when you hear him just humming out what he thinks the words might be.

Yeah. Dude, I was like, you're like little magic go off in his brain. You're watching his synapses fire into being like, what is that? Get back, get back. And you see, once he finds it, everything else kind of like, it's almost like when you're tripping

and you see one thing and then it exposes all this other stuff and you're like, I see all of it now. That's exactly what that looked like to me, that he get back and it was like get back to where you once belong i was like holy shit a lot of those guys do that yeah rick rubin talked about that humming it out they sort of like make up words and shit and then they start putting words where the sound is yeah that's wild yeah they just sort of like feel it. They feel it.

Whatever the beat is, they start just talking over it and shit. But then in my stony brain, I think, did their brain already know the words and they were just trying to find it? Do you know what I mean? Maybe. I always wondered that about Jay-Z. Jay-Z is so impressive. Like the way he can can ad-lib lyrics. Rick Rubin was talking about how they'll play a beat,

and he'll go in, listen to the beat, and just flow with the beat. It's stuff that he wrote for weeks and weeks. But he never wrote anything down. No. That always blew my mind. Wild. Wild. I sadly want him to have written one thing down.

That ability is incredible. But then there's guys like Nas, who I think is the best lyricist ever. And Nas writes things down. And you can tell he writes things down. Oh, yeah. Because he'll like, he'll do a rap backwards. Like he'll do the whole, you remember that song Reverse? I love that song.

That song's incredible. That is like one of the most lyrically complicated and beautiful songs ever in the history of hip-hop and it also has the ability to just toss in there he's getting a blow job and throws up that's also my favorite he's a poet and he's like she's like he spits the nut back into him spit the nut back into my dick the drink goes back into my cup i throw up dude it's yeah it's so cool how he was able to tell that story backwards but also still keep it in his vibe. Do you know what I mean? Like he didn't break character.

Still Nas telling a story like Nas would. It didn't get corny at any point or like change shape. His new shit is great too. I love Nas. He stays fantastic. He stays relevant. Like if you're like a Nas fan, you will not be disappointed.

His new shit is just like his old shit. It's great. That was the hip hop that I like. Jamie and I talk sometimes about hip hop. But the new stuff, some new shit I like a lot. But stuff like Illmatic and... Hip hop is dead? Yeah.

Come on, son. That song comes on. So good. That song comes on, you're like, oh, shit. There's a few songs when they come on, I'm like, oh shit. You know, Gravel Pit by Wu-Tang Clan. Oh, love.

When that song comes on, check out my gravel pit. As soon as that comes on, that's like one of them songs, you just start moving. It's classics. I had Pharoah Monch. On tour, I would come out to Pharoah Monch,

Simon Says. Do you know that song? No. Dun, dun, dun, dun out to Feral Monch, Simon Says. Do you know that song? No. You know it, don't you? Let me hear it. It's dude. Oh, I'm sure I know. Simon Says. I come out to this song because I loved it so much, but the crowd would lose their fucking mind. This is from 13 years ago. Yeah. Trippy ass music video.

I miss music videos. Dude, this is MTV. That's how I feel it shows. Oh, yeah. That's how I feel it shows Oh yeah Oh yeah Girls rub on your titties. That's my favorite line. Yeah, fuck it. I said it.

Rub on your titties. So I was coming out to this. And then for the special, I wanted to use it. And DJ Premier, who is a fan of comedy and knows, like, he knows Segura. And I reached out to him out of the blue. I was like, hey, man, i hope i'm not crossing lines here would it be cool if you reached out to pharaoh about me licensing that song for the special and it's widely known in the hip-hop world most like old hip-hop heads they love that song and i was like i know i don't know if i can afford it or

whatever but would you mind and shout out to shout out to him because within seconds, Premiere was like, yo, reach out to him. Here's the deal. That intro is from Godzilla 1, like the original. And he never cleared it. 13, 15 years ago. So the deal was like he's got the mechanics to the song, but can't license it out for stuff like this. Let me hear that. Have Godzilla

walk out. I want to see Godzilla anyway. I want to see who sampled. You can see all the samples. Right, you can see every single who sampled it in their music. I love that they sample in hip-hop. It's the best. I love it. It's cool. But the problem is, stuff like that didn't clear so long ago, it didn't clear.

So what ended up... Yeah, there it is. Can you show me it, though? Can you show me it when it happens? That's right. You get what you mean. Find the... Stop.

This is it. This is it. No, no, no. No, no, no. That's it. No, Jamie. Can you show me Godzilla coming out to that sound? Dun, dun, dun.

I want to see actual Godzilla because it was so dumb. Actual Godzilla. I want to see actual Godzilla because it was so dumb actual Godzilla if you go back and try to watch that the idea that that's a monster movie it's so goofy but it was crazy scary for people at the time it was amazing for people in 1960 or whenever Godzilla came out it was like what am I seeing

this is incredible fire came out yeah it was so cool what am I seeing? This is incredible. Fire came out of his mouth. Yeah, it was so cool. Yeah, and that sound was so, so like memorable. And so he didn't clear it. And then, you know,

and Premiere was like, whatever I can do to help, you know, moving forward. And there's this other guy, RJD2, who I loved. And ironically enough, I had wanted a song from him and he was like I didn't clear that song like and I was like do the same shit so then he sent me a folder of unused like

beats he was like there's a I gotta he's like I have stuff that I've made that I don't have and no one has you know that I still have he's like do you want to hear someone he sent me one and that's one of the ones I chose and shout out to those guys for helping me out but it was so funny because he said the same thing he goes dude i was young when i did that we didn't clear shit of course we were making dope shit yeah putting it out to the world and then sometimes lawyers to clear shit now he's like those labels have those labels from back they're all gone they dissipated or they got bought or how many great great songs in hip-hop they sampled old music like old oh yeah james brown tracks and i talked about kinds of shit william bell i love the william bell if you don't know

who he is he's great and so many people have sampled him but they sample like even a word like uh tim robinson his show uh i think you should leave which is fine he samples this baby baby baby and it's from william bell's a piece of his song that he looped and put over itself his show, I Think You Should Leave, which is fun. He samples this, baby, baby, baby. And it's from William Bell's, a piece of his song that he looped and put over itself. And it's just cool to see how many people pick apart these old things. I love hearing it and finding it and be like, do you know who that is? And when people are like, no, it's like, oh, that's Ann Peebles. That's, you know, it's just great.

I love seeing where the samples came from. Because it's like, man, how did they find that? Or why that of all the shit that they turn into something else? Yeah. No, there's an art to that, man. Oh, it's like man how do they find that or why that of all the shit they turn into something else yeah no it's there's an art to that man oh it's beautiful a lot of those like old hip-hop dudes used to have just enormous collections of records they would just listen to just try to find samples digging in the crates constantly to find something like that try to find you find Godzilla's emergence that's it It's from a 1992 film. That sound is? Yes.

Oh, it's a 1992 Godzilla? Probably a way better Godzilla. It's from a soundtrack. So it's not the original Godzilla? The original. So this says it's from, whether or not this is right or not, I guess we'll have to go into that. Godzilla vs. Mothra? Yeah, this says it's from Godzilla vs. Mothra, which came out in 1992.

Okay. And then I found that movie, but I have no idea where they would have used that 12-second sample. This is the whole movie of Godzilla vs. Mothra? Just show Godzilla coming out. Yeah, let's see him. There's a hard... It's hard to find it? Yeah, I don't know where. I've never seen this movie.

I've never seen it. Godzilla vs. Mothra from 1992? I'm sure it comes out ten times. How many people saw this? I don't know that they're going to play the soundtrack when it comes out. I highly doubt it. Let's find where, just so you can see what Godzilla, what did Godzilla look like in 92? I didn't see this movie.

Yeah, it came out in Japan. That's like the American movie. Isn't that wild? He found a sample from fucking japan from a japanese movie there it is oh here it is oh it looks terrible there it is you're in the background yeah it's not even hurt it's not even hurt. It's gonna land. We have to stop it. That's one of the best parts about Godzilla's dubs.

The dubs are so terrible. We have to do our best to find out where he's going. Yeah, look at that. It's not even hurting him. Here's Godzilla. Oh, Godzilla's in a fight with Mothra. Oh, Mothra's jizzing all over him. Jizzing all over him, dude.

It's silk. He's covered him with silk. Imagine that's all it takes to fuck Godzilla up. Just a little bit of silk. He's all tapped out. Oh, my God. Look how corny it looks. And that's like the updated Godzilla.

Right. Now, go to the original Godzilla. Go to the original Godzilla movie. That looks so bad. The Matthew Broderick one came out like four years after this, didn't it? Right. Now go to the original Godzilla. Go to the original Godzilla movie. That looks so bad. The Matthew Broderick one came out like four years after this, didn't it? Right. The Matthew Broderick movie was pretty good. In terms of special effects. It was a terrible movie.

In terms of special effects, it was a pretty good movie. Looks like the 64 movie. He's got the downs. 100%. It's a meme. Mothra. This is from 1964 Bro look how bad this is Oh my god

Oh my god this is so corny You can even hear the helicopter flying overhead that gives them the wind. Yeah, yeah. You hear the helicopter? Look how corny Godzilla is! There it is in the background right there. It's a different version of it, yeah. Yeah.

Dun, dun, dun, dun. When my daughters were real young, when they were like four and six, my wife was out of town, and I said, do you guys want to watch a scary movie? And they're like, no, we're scared. I go, no, no, no, a bad scary movie, corny. I want to show you a scary movie from the 1930s. It's called King Kong.

And they're like, what is it? I go, it's about a giant gorilla. But I go, but the special effects are so bad, you're going to laugh. It's so bad. And so six-year-olds, right, from whatever, you know, six years ago, watching a movie that was a scary movie at the time in 1933 when people saw King Kong for the first time go to go to King Kong from 1933 when people saw that there whatever year was was it 33 am I making that up I want to say it predates World War two people

pant people thought that was like the craziest shit they'd ever seen. What is it? 1933. 1933 King Kong. So go to 1933 King Kong. And this is made with clay. Look how bad this is. So my kids thought it was hilarious. I go, how bad

does this look? It looks so bad. They weren't scared at all. They were laughing and then they were relieved that it wasn't scary. then they started laughing really hard look how corny this is but in 1933 they're like i can't believe what we're seeing king kong is actually fighting a dinosaur and there's a lady watching it but but it's like whenever you revisit that shit when i was i remember babysitter showed me uh the exorcist far before I should have seen it. And I remember how crazy, I thought that was, that movie was so scary, gave me nightmares. Look at the new one.

Yeah, it's insane. The new one's incredible. That's what the ride is almost at, Universal. Isn't it hilarious how King Kong always falls in love with a white chick? But look how badass this King Kong is. This King Kong is incredible. He dismissed her for sure. And what year is this?

This is three years ago, but I don't know exactly if that's right. 05. 05, yeah. I was going to say, that looks like it might be a while ago. Now the newest shit's probably... Yeah, they remade it again, I think, a couple years ago. Yeah, I was going to say, that looks like it might be a while ago. Now, the newest shit's probably- Yeah, they remade it again, I think, a couple years ago. Yeah, they did. But then King Kong kept growing, because now King Kong has to fight Godzilla.

Godzilla's 500 feet tall. Yeah, right, I saw that. The idea is that King Kong has some sort of a genetic malformity that makes him just continue to grow forever and ever. They don't visit Kong Island for a few years, and they come back and- He's got a lump on his pituitary gland. He just never stopped growing. Yeah.

So this is the regular size King Kong. This is the 50 foot King Kong. See, that looks fucking unreal. Smash. Boom. I mean, yeah, the fucking special effects are incredible. It's so amazing what they do with CGI, but at the same time, you know that that's not real. You feel it's not real.

Oh, yeah. It just feels fake. That's what's like people that do, like Rick Baker and those guys that did special effects for American Werewolf in London. They say that you can't replace the physical special effects where an actual object is attacking an actual person. I remember that, too. When I was a kid, I thought that was... I had nightmares of, like, stairs. I hated stairs.

Yeah, it just freaked me out so much when I was a kid. Dude, back then, man, this movie freaked people out, dude. They were so scared that their kids could get possessed by a devil. She was so... I bought it. I bought... I was like, that bitch is possessed. I think that movie fucked her up.

Yeah, right? For the rest of her life? I think so. Well, because she did it so young. She's a kid in that movie. It's like, to be in that mindset, 12 hours a day on set shooting. Yelling, your mother sucks cocks in hell. Remember that?

Yeah, dude. Your mother sucks cocks in hell. You're like, whoa. Whoa. Yeah, but you have to do that. Was that 76? What year was The Exorcist? That's what happens to actors that get embedded in those things that go deep, deep, deep.

Sometimes the brain takes a while to get back. I would imagine that if you're playing- 73. 73. If you're a child and you're playing someone who's possessed by a demon- Yeah, come on. And you believe in demons when you're a child, too. For sure. Do you're a child and you're playing someone who's possessed by a demon. Yeah, come on. And you believe in demons when you're a child, too. For sure.

Do you believe in demons? Still do. Do you? For sure. They might be real. They got to be. There's got to be external forces around. I can't imagine that all this energy in your body goes to nowhere. I don't buy it. I don't buy it. Well, that's not even the question about demons.

Like what energy, where your energy goes is a really good question. But the question about demons is are there external forces that are playing against you? Oh, yeah. There are actual entities. But I think negative energy goes into those things. That's what I guess I mean is like I think what builds those things is negative, really toxic, evil shit builds negative things. In another dimension. Fuck yeah.

I definitely believe that. And if you're doing like evil shit, you're probably even more haunted by those things. When you die, it doesn't just go away. It goes somewhere, into a thing. I don't, like, I wholeheartedly believe that. And honestly, like, the first time I really felt, like when I saw, you know, the Irish for some reason we love wakes we like to see people when they're dead i like how the jews do it they're like i'm not fucking looking at that person when they're dead i had the same experience i know what you're gonna say and i want i couldn't look at my grandmother the whole time and then my mom was like we're gonna leave so you ought

to say goodbye and i was like all right and i walked up there and like i felt this sense of relief because i was like oh the thing i loved isn't even in there anymore right this was a vessel yes and whatever was in there is somewhere better and it's it just i felt immediately like this weird like someone was telling me like yeah this is just the shell man the thing you like it's in a really great place. It's all good. That's the weirdest part about seeing someone dead is this feeling that they've left. Yeah. They're not in there. Yeah. They're not in there.

Did you see this? The Pope? Whoa. Was this the new Pope? Yeah. He passed away. They did the funeral and they- The new Pope who died, rather.

They brought him out without a coffin and left him on display. That's dark. For a while. Pope don't need no coffin. That's dark. For a while. Pope don't need no coffin. That's dark. Everyone came up and kissed his hands and stuff. Wild. That is a crazy gig.

That guy had the craziest past, Pope Benedict. He had the craziest past because he was charged with moving priests around that had committed atrocities. Yeah. He was charged with moving priests around that had committed atrocities. Yeah. And he moved one to a place where they molested 100 deaf kids. What?

Yes. Google that. 100 deaf kids? 100 deaf kids got molested by this one priest that he had moved, I believe, when he was a cardinal. You don't hear him coming. That's the problem. Jesus. You can't even help yourself. Cut it out.

Son of a bitch. Cut cut it out son of a bitch cut it out son of a bitch but the new one's supposed to be chill right well I think he had to take it down a notch

so the new one got you know fucking a regular throne it's like this gold throne is a little outdated and he's like pro-gay marriage and all that

that's nice a little bit more than 100 200 deaf kids oh my god the priest might have molested 200 deaf boys. Top Vatican officials, including future Pope Benedict

the 16th, did not defrock a priest who molested as many as 200 deaf boys even though several American bishops repeatedly warned them that failure to act on the matter could embarrass the church according to the files recently unearthed as part of a lawsuit imagine your concern is

Embarrassing the church not that this guy's fucking kids Imagine yeah, we don't want the church to look imagine your concern and not one guy, but multiple bishops, right? Yeah It's nuts. Have you been to the Vatican by the way? Edibles shit is dark. I went there on edibles. Did you? Yeah. That shit creeped me out, dude. The whole time I was like, I don't like this at all.

I just didn't like the fact that they were like, we have our own cops. Well, no extradition. We can do whatever we want. They're basically a country inside of a city. Yeah.

Their own rules, their own laws. And there's a bunch of people in there that people would like to try. Yeah. They would like to pull them out of there and try them.

Can't do it. For crimes against humanity. Protected. You saw that documentary about the little girl that went missing from the Vatican? No. No? No. I don't even know what it's called, Jamie.

The girl who went missing is what I think my instinct is saying, but it's about a resident. There's a small amount of residents that live in the Vatican walls, in Vatican City. Her family was one of them. And this has got to be, I don't know, 30 years a small amount of residents that live in the Vatican walls in Vatican City. Her family was one of them. And this has got to be, I don't know, 30 years ago, she went missing. And the story is fucking wild. Yeah, it's called Vatican Girl. I just Googled it two days ago. It says they reopened the case.

So I don't know. Dude, you have to watch this. It's bananas. What do they think happened? Well, there's a bunch of different conspiracies. There's a bunch of different, like, there is kind of a somewhat clear-cut answer in it, but there's multiple points where even they go, I don't know. This may, this may have come from multiple avenues of this being a very well-coordinated thing,

like a kidnapping, and it's crazy. And they just reopened it up. Kidnapping from someone who lives in the Vatican? I don't want to tell you. The family that lived there says there might have been a kidnapping, the black male, the pope at the time. There's a bunch of different theories. And as you watch it, they talk about multiple theories about what it's like.

But also, the crazy thing is, you'd think if you lived in the Vatican, you're living high on the hog. No. These people were like commoner, lower class to lower middle class. It's not because they're in there. You're not like automatically living like a king. If you're just a citizen. So were they help?

Did they work there? Yeah, they were workers. They were workers. Oh, so the workers lived there. But they don't treat them any kind of. It's like they all live pretty, you know. Modestly. Modestly.

And your family's born into it. so you're kind of born in it. And this girl was, she would go to a school outside of the Vatican walls, like a performance art school, if I'm not mistaken. And, you know, a regular route from there to there, there to there, there to there. And then one day. Oh, here's why. The Pope's longtime secretary is about to release a book this week. Ruh-roh. And that's why they may have to invest. He says he's got information on it that's going to release a book this week. Ruh-roh. And that's why they may have an investigation.

He says he's got information on it that's going to come out in the book. About that girl? Yeah. Oh, fuck. It's wild. This was two days ago this just started popping up? Yeah, yeah. I don't think anybody didn't see it.

Top of the thing. Vatican reopens investigation. That's her. Yeah. Emanuela. In 1983 she went missing. Orlandi. 40 years ago. They've gotten away with solandi 40 years ago they've gotten away

with so much sketchy they've gotten away with so much so sketch I mean I know everybody wants to concentrate

and rightly so on Epstein Island but how about the Vatican how about the just the entire you could be a person

who doesn't know how to read and you know that priests fuck kids uh huh someone who someone that's barely heard of it is like oh I did hear about those guys everybody could be a person who doesn't know how to read, and you know that priests fuck kids. Uh-huh. Someone that's barely heard of it is like, oh, I did hear about those guys. Everybody knows that that's a problem.

Yeah. It's not like NASCAR drivers. It's like, imagine if NASCAR drivers were known for molesting children. You'd be like, that is cool. Why is that still a thing? It's part of a culture, man. Forever people knew that priests fucked kids. 100%. It's part of a culture, man. Forever people knew that priests fucked kids. 100%.

I've had, it's never happened to me, but I've had multiple friends that were in Catholic school. Yeah. They got chased by a priest. This one guy went on a retreat with his priest

and the priest made him sleep in the bed with him and he was like chasing him around the room. No, no, no. And he had to like literally fight off the priest and scream

and he wouldn't give in. What was the name of the movie that exposed all that stuff? You know, about the newspaper. Mark Ruffalo? What? Am I crazy? Why can't I think of the name of that fucking... The Boston newspaper?

Yeah. Yeah. Bro, this is so familiar. And it was a real story where the Boston Globe, huh? Spot, spotlight. And they went out of their way to expose them or in real life they made a movie about it but it's like didn't even go do anything didn't do shit that's so great a credible newspaper was like we have unbelievable amounts of evidence and still it's like no no

what are you gonna do they don't even lose their tax-free exemption i know nothing happens the tax-free thing is wild because when scientology got it you're like yo What is this? What is this thing you you get? You know taxes if you claim that your religion. Yeah, you know how many fucking religions there could be this is a religion You could say your shows a religion there, but there you go. You have loyal listeners. So what just conversations, but that could be a religion Oh, I what what how do you apply to make a religion? Look it up. I'm serious. Listen, stop fucking with me. This is a religion.

You know it is. You know it's like an inch away from being one. You could just say, people who you have followers, they listen to you. They like what you put out. Doesn't mean you have to have some sort of like spiritual ideology. Religion could be anything. This could slot as a religion for sure it just means a bunch of people listen to uh you know a uniform thought process if you put out like a

continual thing i don't think you need a book i don't think you need shit you know alex gray the visionary artist i'm sure you've seen his work okay in every dorm room wall of someone who smokes weed they have an alex gray poster it's jad or justin bua the the piano sure you've seen his work. Okay. In every dorm room wall of someone who smokes weed, they have an Alex Gray poster. It's Jad or Justin Bua, the piano guy. You've seen, that was also in the dorm rooms. This is Alex Gray. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've seen his work. Well, Alex Gray started a religion, like a legitimate religion.

Like he's a real, like really spiritual person. Like legitimately, when you meet him, you're blown away. He's the real deal. And he has a church that he built that is designed around his art. And he got tax exempt status. It's called Entheon. That's the church. Like this is the place.

Like how amazing is that? Where is that? It's in upstate New York. So he bought land and then he set it up for a church and made it tax exempt. You got to see what it looks like on the outside. I mean, this is the inside. It's fucking gorgeous because it's a church that's designed by an amazing artist. That's the outside of it.

Look at that. Entheon. Play that video. Yeah, go full screen, please. amazing oh my god and you know this guy's been an incredible artist forever but he had the first time he came on the podcast he had just the idea for this so all those faces all around it it's all from his artwork and it all had to be 3d designed that's him and his wife and so this is him and then his wife and his paintings, so they have like fucking yoga classes there and shit They're like a real church

Look at this I mean imagine going into the woods with all these hippies and you go do yoga in that place with this guy I know you're all chanting and shit like and he's a real deal He's not like trying to rip people off. He's just a genuinely beautiful person who's an amazing artist who's created like a real church. They play music and they get together and it's not like he gets to fuck everybody's wife. I was just going to say. It's a regular church. I hope it stays that way.

Yeah. Oh, it will with this guy. Because this story sometimes goes the wrong way. They almost always go the wrong way they almost always go the wrong way it goes to a place where it's like he got the power and he was like all right we have to pray naked and then someone's gotta sit on my face and then we need to protect ourselves with the government we gotta kill everybody we know that doesn't like us yeah you don't want it to go down that road but they almost always do yeah dude that's what i'm saying

as i'm watching that the whole time i'm like i know he's your boy i hope it stays this way i hope it doesn't shift into something i don't want it to be like that i watched the you know um nexium or whatever i watched that one i didn't see that one but i heard it's wild bro it's just you're like also the women's empowerment one that was another one that was nuts what's that one? This woman in San Francisco had started, you know, like a sexual revolution club, a freedom for women to be the powerful versions of themselves. She gets to bang everybody's husband. Yes, she fucks everybody. By the end, she fucked the whole crew. It was all see-through.

She was like, this is for women to take back their empowerment. It was in San Francisco, I think. And she was extremely manipulative and intelligent. The way she would break down people's relationships into joining her ideology about sex and love and relationships, they would just snap into her thing. And it was all about making a woman come. The whole thing was about can you make your woman come and make that the priority. But then after a couple years, she's like, I want to suck a couple dicks. She let a couple dicks in and then it all led down the same road, dude.

It all goes down to the same place. Power. They love the power. Well, it's also if you're a person who doesn't, you know, you have a hard time knowing who you are. Like who, maybe you think you're more than you are or you want more than you're getting and then all of a sudden you're in this position where people revere you yeah that's intoxicating and then you're literally speaking at a church you're speaking to your flock yeah i think that's why they made catholic priests celibate i think they're

probably banging everybody back in the day. Don't you think? Of course. They were rock stars. Giancarlo, you're fucking way too many of the members. What? What do I do wrong? What do I do wrong? You're talking about Italians, first of all.

Savages. Savage people. Yeah, dude. And then you're talking about Italians from a thousand years ago, even more savage. And then you're talking about the one dudes who could read Latin. So they're reading the Bible. No one else even knows what the fuck is going on until Martin Luther came along and translated the Bible into phonetic languages.

I think he can, what is it? German first? Did Martin Luther converted to, um, he translated into German, I think. I forget what language it was, but he, he translated the Bible so that regular people who could read could read it because they didn't know they didn't know Latin and then he basically said you should interpret the Bible You know any way you you see fit like that's the Bible the Bible's there for you to interpret it right which was a fucking Horrific affront to the Catholic Church the Catholic Church freaked out Like all the churches back then that probably wanted to kill him

I don't know was Was it the Catholic church that he did it to? Whatever church it was. Protestant? Yeah. I'm not sure what church it was. But he spoke Latin. You know, and he translated. The priests were the ones, like, you had to have formal training. Yeah. Like, Latin, even back

then, was a dying language. It's a, when you see, even when there's people that still study it today, which is fucking wild. Latin's wild. What if they bring it back though, huh? Oh,

it'd be a great thing to learn. Yeah. You could have conversations to people in Latin. Behind somebody's back. I wonder how well you could communicate with it. I mean,

it's got, I'm sure there's enough, well, you can't use any, of course there's no slang in it, but you could make up new slang, Latin,

you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. The gabagool. Yeah. I don't use any, of course, there's no slang in it, but you can make up new slang, Latin. You know what I mean? Yeah. The gabagool. Yeah. I don't say it, I give a little gabagool. Gabagool. The gabagool. Get a little fucking bush of dush.

Strew your dell. Strew your dell. Yeah. You have to throw a dell, throw a dell. They've got shit for that, for sure. Yeah. Imagine if they brought Latin back. Well, what's stopping someone from inventing a new language and everyone adopting it?

There's two guys talking. You're talking in Latin? Let me hear. Let's talk about this. Hello, hello, hello, Luke. Thank you so much for coming on today. Hello, everyone. Hello, everyone.

Sounds Chinese. Let me hear it. That was that guy's name, I guess. I've seen your videos online in Latin. Sounds Chinese. Let me hear it. That was that guy's name, I guess. Have you seen your videos online in Latin? Certissime, amice. Mihi nomen est Lucius Amadeus Ranierius. Natus sum in Pennsylvania.

Sum 36 anos natus. Atque, quid etiam? Ego sum YouTuber, ut tu. and also I'm a YouTuber like you and on my channel I make content in Latin and Greek. Wow. I know some of that. There's a little bit of Italian in there. Yeah, I hear a bunch of it.

I took two years in high school. Some of it makes sense, but it's also... Spanish makes more sense too. And on my channel I make... Some of it makes sense, but it's also, Spanish makes more sense too. Et apur de canale, mu ma vi ego faccio. You always, you have to sound like a cartoon version whenever I read it. Like I'm meeting my voice because like, canale me miudere a foccio, cantante latina grazie. Did I ever tell you a time I encountered this church that was trying to get me to join when I was in college?

What was it? Can I tell you a story? No. to get me to join when I was in college. What was it? Can I tell you a story? No. I was taking Italian, and there was these people in this Italian class with me,

and there was this one hot Puerto Rican girl. She wore glasses. She was smoking. There's always one. She was so hot, I couldn't talk to her. I was like, you know what I mean? I didn't have much confidence. No.

And she invited me one day to go with her and her friends to some weekend retreat. And I was like, what? Like, what are you guys doing? I didn't know it was like a religious retreat. She's trying to convert me. And I thought I was just getting invited to this cool kids party. I'm like, well, I can't this weekend, but, you know, maybe another time I could do it.

You know, like that weekend I think I had a tournament or something like that. It was when I was still competing. And then a couple of weeks later, we're in the... Actually, I think I was done doing fighting. I think I was doing stand-up at the time. So there's something going on. I had a gig maybe. Whatever it was.

I'm trying to remember what year it was. Because now I'm thinking it's like 89. Maybe even 90. So there was a plane crash and it was Trump's airplane. It was like Trump Airlines. And it crashed in Boston. And like the front wheels didn't come down. So they had to like skid into the runway with sparks and shit.

So I see them all eating and they invite me over to their table. What year is this? 89. So it's perfect, right. So it was right after I stopped fighting. Maybe I was fighting a little bit and then right when I just started doing stand-up

and there was this table full of them and they come sit with us. I'm like, okay, cool. I go, hey, you guys hear about the plane crash? And they go, no. I go, yeah, the front wheels didn't come down the plane skid their sparks and everything and uh they're all staring at me i go but uh nobody died and then that hot puerto rican girl goes praise god praise god and they all started going praise god praise god and i was like oh no and then immediately I'm like, duh, stupid.

She doesn't like you. She doesn't like you. She want to convert you to her fucking wacky Christian cult. Yeah, but if the pussy was good enough, you know, you might as well go to the can. Just go check it out. Check it out. Do a trial run. I was scared. Yeah. Too susceptible. Well, Jesus lets them in the booty. You know

that you could always do booty stuff. That's Catholic girl. That's the Catholic loophole. I don't think that's written anywhere. I think someone could refute that. Yes, it is. In Paul. I think it's in Corinthians. Look it up.

4.13. The first or second letter. I think it's, yeah. Thou shalt enter booty. It's literally sodomy. It's literally Sodom and Gomorrah. That's why he killed everybody. That's right.

Everybody's all butt fucking. Tight it up. That's a wrap. Keep it tight, baby. Keep it tight back there. No, that's the, who does it? That's the loophole? No, no, yeah.

Who does it? The Mormon kids, they do the soaking and then they do the bouncing. The soaking's hilarious. And you know about the bouncing. You know this, right? No, what's the bouncing? Somebody goes underneath. I don't know what it's called.

You can look it up. Jamie knows. Somebody gets onto the bed when someone's soaking and they push the bed so there's movement. So it's almost as if they're fucking, but they aren someone's soaking and they push the bed so there's movement. So it's almost as if they're fucking, but they aren't making the movement. Oh my God, that's hilarious. This is legit. What's it called, Jamie? Jump humping.

Jump humping. Someone else jumps on the bed to make the bed move. Like you're trying to double bounce someone on a trampoline so they'll start moving. No, people find loopholes. Jump humping, dude. That is hilarious. Mormon teens on TikTok. See that?

Jump humping. Finding themselves jump humping, a tactic used is hilarious. Mormon teens on TikTok. See that? Jump humping. Finding themselves jump humping. A tactic used to avoid thrusting during penetrative sex. Because the thrusting, I think the thrusting is what is prohibited. So you can soak. That is amazing. No in and out movement. It's amazing that you can soak.

You can soak. I think they found the loophole, dude. You can soak. Soaking is amazing. Jump humping is so funny. When you were a teenager you were like soaking we're good I don't need to move no well also

but immediately you put it in and you're like I'm gone yeah it's so dangerous and that's when kids like when teenagers are having sex

with each other they're at their most fertile and they're at their least control yeah that's why that's why pregnancy it's like within they're like

we just had sex once you're pregnant that's why you're pregnant yeah that's how they're like, we just had sex once. It's like, you're pregnant. That's why you're pregnant. Yeah, that's how it goes sometimes. Because your body is just like, okay. And so I'm dumb. And the moment as a kid, as a dude, the first time you fuck,

you're just like. Well, what's nuts is that that's how the body's designed. Like you are your most fertile and you're the most likely to conceive. And it's also like, that's what nature wants. Nature wants you to have sex when you're a most likely to conceive and it's also like that's what nature wants nature wants you to

have sex when you're a fucking kid you're 16 because we weren't supposed to last more than 20 years i think nature was like get this done now you're dead in a decade but we haven't adapted to that yet we haven't adjusted do you think that it will ever catch up how could it it would take so long it's not like people are going to stop humping. Yeah, I mean, chemically, I mean, I don't know what would change. You would have to almost delay puberty, but then when you would fuck up people's development, like what could you do?

Because there's a window when your hormones, you're growing and your hormones are kicking in and all this stuff is kind of synced normally by nature. If you interfere with that because you think the kids can't handle having sex, like you're going to delay, what are you going to delay? Puberty? Like until they're smart enough? Well, you're not even smart enough when you're in your twenties. No, you're not smart enough. No one's smart enough. Fucking never kicks in. Well, that's what's wild about humans, right? Is like, there's this clear

biological imperative to procreate and it kicks in when you have no no business teaching a kid life you know to teach like to raise a child when you're 15 and you're the husband's 15 and you're 15 it's a nightmare you just gave birth to a baby and you're a baby yeah like that 16 and pregnant show or whatever that always says it's like when the when it works you're happy because you're like the kid's gonna might turn out to have a nice life

but when you see that goes awry it's sad as shit because a lot of times it's bound to lose you know but then sometimes you wait too long

and it gets harder to have kids I've dealt with that it's just it's wild how your body sometimes or the body is like you miss the window maybe you miss the window yeah yeah but then they have in vitro civilization

yeah science fixes all that shit yeah well they're they're developing the concept at least of artificial wombs and they think that well there will be a time where they'll be able to have babies outside of a human body just growing next to you in your house? Yeah. How far away is that? Because I've read something recently on this as a concept. They think that, but then, like, what is the baby getting from the mother in terms of, like, emotions and feeling? And, like, babies are empathic, right?

They're feeling the mother's stress. Your cortisol raises when your mother's under stress. There's probably like lessons, like you're learning things from the mother, like just from feelings. Like instinctual stuff kicks in. I wonder. Well, it's gotta be based on like diet

and your lifestyle schedule and the way that you operate has to influence the way that the- Can you imagine if they made babies in an artificial womb and the babies just came out like soulless? And what do you do? It's very stiff. Yeah, and then the scientists say, well, actually, we've discovered the soul's real. Yeah. And it only comes from the mother into the baby. And it comes while the baby's inside the mother.

That's actually a great movie. They think that actually, that was like an ancient belief that the soul entered the body at a certain time. Now I'm thinking about it, I think it was like six weeks. There was like, there was an ancient belief that there was a very specific time where the soul entered the body. While you're in the womb. Yeah, while the baby soul entered the body. While you're in the womb.

Yeah, while the baby's in the womb. So you're in there for six weeks cooking. At six weeks, that's when the soul shows up. Is that what they think it was? What was this ancient myth, belief, whatever you—who knows if it's real? I feel like it'd be right the moment that there's fertilization. Aristotle believed it? In the time of Aristotle

Is actually what it says Soul entered the embryo At 40 days for a male And 90 days for a female Beat you there girls Wonder why I waited Why they chill? Insolment

They're fucking late They gotta do something What's it called? Insolment Insolment Insolment And so that was just their belief It wasn't

Was it based on any thought? It says Hippocrates was the first to believe this. Well, he's always contradicting himself. Was he? The embryo was a product of male hypocrisy. Ah, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. I wonder, why do you speculate we're 40 and they're 90? Well, back then they probably didn't like girls.

Right, that's why. These bitches are slow. They don't even get their souls when we get our souls. Give me the taste of the good stuff. Yeah, baby. Yeah. These bitches are slow. I mean, they probably, yeah, they probably was misogyny.

They probably get it before we do, if anything. The artificial womb thing I found, 2019 there's an article that said they think they're 10 years away, but I dug through that real quick to find the person that was claiming that, and it turns out it's just like an artist. Oh. So it wasn't a group of scientists saying it was like an artist that says like we might be there. Hey, man, artists are scientists.

That would scare the shit out of me if they started making people in a lab. Oof. You don't think they're doing that already? But yeah, there's vision. I feel like they've got to be manipulating. I bet in another country they're doing that already? I feel like they've got to be manipulating I bet in another country they're doing it I think we got our hands in there baby

Do you think so? You think like in Area 51 Well don't you think it was so funny that for how many years when you were a kid for how many years did you hear about that alien life forms at Area 51 that That's all bullshit. That's not what it,

and then now they're like, no, no, no, we, there's some alien shit over there. They don't say that. Yeah, they do. No, they don't. They say there's something unidentified. They found unidentified,

they found things that they don't know really what it is that they've experimented on for sure. I could tell you exactly what they've said. What do they say? Because I've talked to a lot of these guys. What the government is admitting is that they believe that there are crafts that are operating that are outside of their understanding of physics. They've never said that we have anything at all? There have been people that have said, and this is a quote from the Pentagon, that there was off-world vehicles not from this earth.

But who said that quote is what I was always confused about. It was like one of the top Pentagon officials. It's like one of those things where it's like, wait a minute, who said that? And what is the exact quote? How did you exactly say it? How much of this is clickbait? But I've talked to multiple pilots that have had encounters. I got to know we got something. And I don't know if it's ours,

if it's a drone that we don't tell them about that moves in a way that defies our understanding of physics because it doesn't operate on a propulsion engine. It operates on something that's completely new and unique. And there have been thoughts about how a new and unique gravity-based propulsion system would work for decades. Astrophysicist Eric W. Davis, who spent years working as a consultant for the Pentagon UFO program and is now a defense contractor, gave a classified

briefing to the Defense Department on what he called off-world vehicles not made on this Earth. In other words, spaceships. The bombshell, quote, came in the latest UFO report from the New York Times, which has owned the beat for the past several years. In December 2017, the paper reported on the existence of the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program, a Pentagon effort to investigate UFOs

that was supposedly shuttered in 2012, but wasn't. The article hailed as a historical inflection point in our attitudes towards our attitudes regarding UFOs implied the same message that the most recent one does. Basically, flying saucers are real. Can I see a picture of Eric W. Davis? Yeah, let's get a look at how much pussy Eric's got. I want to see this cat. I want to see how much I believe him based on his look.

Yes, let's just go just for his look. Let's see what he looks like just so I can see what he looks like. Is that him? No. That's here in Austin. Warp drive metrics. Consulting for the Department of Defense. That's it. Just go back and go to images though, Jamie. Click on images so we can pick one for fun, you know.

Like so we can make a... Oh, that's him. Dude, that is him. Wow. There's your dog Dude, that is him. Wow. There's your dog. Off-world technology. Okay, so based on that first picture on the Hawaiian shirt, do we believe it? I'm a little skeptical. I'm skeptical.

I don't know, dude. That Tommy Bahamas lead me down a weird line. But if you were the Pentagon, you wanted to hire a guy. That's the guy. That's the guy. That is the guy. Because you don't want any distractions. You want a guy who's 100% invested. So he was back then, too? What year is that? Is that Jacques Vallée?

It's like a white power. Huntsville, Alabama? Yeah, looks like it's him. Is that Jacques Vallée with him? Hmm. Interesting. Wait, do you know what's crazy about what I just said about you saying that, too? What. It's LinkedIn, so yeah. Interesting. Wait, do you know what's crazy about what I just said about you saying that too? What? In that photo, I was just joking around saying, like, it looks like he's throwing up like

a white power symbol, this guy. Like a Nazi salute. Right. You know what's insane? What? Huntsville. Huntsville. That's where the KKK was started.

Oh, Jesus. Literally. Is that Jacques Vallée with him? I think he's too old in that image. I think he's too old in that image. I played that gig in Huntsville. Joe, we took a ride from Nashville down to Huntsville, and the driver was a really cool dude, really nice guy,

and I was playing the Huntsville, you know, whatever's down there. I don't know what it is down there in Alabama, but you do like a one show after Nashville, and we're driving, and he's like, you know NASA's right here? And I was like, oh, really? He's like, it's right there, dude. He's like, you want to see it? Yeah, if we have time, for sure.

Drives by, seeing the outside of it. You know, they have fucking like rockets outside. It's dope as shit. And I was like, whoa, this is so cool. He's like, yeah, man, a lot of fucking nerds is going to be at your show from there, I'm sure. And I was like, yeah, hopefully. And he goes, yeah, yeah, it's a cool little thing that they got plopped it right down here by us. Down that road, kkk got started i was like oh what a juxtaposition of that to that he's

like yeah you know you know i'm not proud of it but that's where it is i was like so right there is nasa like the most brilliant minds on earth a mile away from the most chaotically stupid people on planet i was like that's so it's like universal like comedy given to the earth where it's like NASA complete insane shitheads a mile away from each other where it was birthed

and I asked him if it was still over there and he's like he's like I don't know but I don't know I was like okay so yeah imagine if you were working on a base and they brought in some shit He's like, I don't know, but I don't know. I was like, okay. So, yeah, they're there. Imagine if you were working on a base and they brought in some shit. Imagine if you're one of the guys that's, someone's got to move those things around. They're not having the eggheads move them around.

No. They're going to have guys like you and me. Yeah. If you and me were working on some fucking Air Force base top secret clearance. We'd be moving the shit. We know how to shut the fuck up because all of our phones are bugged. Right. You know, like they bug everything. For sure.

They bug your house. You make sure you're not talking any shit. You're not saying nothing. You put a chip in your neck. And then they wheel in this burnt up UFO. They're like, what is this? And they're like, shut the fuck up. Nothing.

Get out of here. I don't let anybody see that shit. Well, someone has to move it in. No, those guys do, but they tell your boss to get the fuck out of the building. Right, but if you're one of those guys that has to move it in. Oh, those guys. Somebody has to move it in. They're not going to get the eggheads to move the thing.

Oh, they're talking about the eggheads. Like, what are they doing? No, if you have an enormous fucking spaceship. Yes. And you're a guy, like you and I were maintenance in Area 51. We definitely are. are maintenance, dude. 100%. I'm cranking away at something.

And you're like, come on, brother, you gotta help me move this fucking thing out this van. We gotta move this thing. Ah, shit. And we get it. It's got like a low hum to it.

Just putting out a cigarette next to it. Like, I don't know if it's, could be near it. Set it down there. It's covered in fucking soot and dirt and shit. What the fuck is this? It's dripping. It crashed in the North Pole.

Yeah, it's dripping. I don't know. It's leaking. Something's leaking out of it. Bro. It's oil or some shit. Bro. Are you tasting it? Yeah, I'd taste it. You wouldn't taste it? I don't know. I'd taste it. Fuck it. How much would that change your life if you saw a spaceship from another planet? Like for sure from another planet the problem is

Who this is the never-ending art who's gonna believe you because then you automatically become like the I'm dead serious And everybody's like all right that guy so you'd have to be No, there is no way it's like a never-ending who's gonna believe you Because even people that really love your wife like someone that's like that knows you the best would be like babe is everything okay you're like no I'm serious cracking yeah they're like you're losing it do we tell their friends I don't know what's been going on and you're changes medications and he's seeing things yeah that was like I don't know why this shot into my brain,

but there was a great documentary about a retirement community in Florida. And at this point in his life, the dude decided to start experimenting with drugs because he's like, fuck it, dude, I'm old. Yeah, he's 80. Yeah, and he was like, I don't give a shit. And the poor wife would be like, there's a scene. There's a scene where she's like, now what are you? They're both like sweet from the south. And she's like, what are you you they're both like sweet from the south and she's like what are you gonna do and he opens the door

and he's baked out of his mind he goes don't come in here i'm gonna be jerking off he closes the door on her and you can tell she looks at the yeah what is this what yeah that's exactly what it's called some kind of heaven bro, that's the guy brother. It's so fucking this is such a great beautiful docuseries about What it's like to live in one of these retirement. That's him. He's punching himself Oh my god, and with a kung fu outfit on that guy looks like a party dude. He's awesome. Where is he? This is all this is all in Florida at this resort Oh, and they all doing karate together and working out. That looks like fun.

So it's a high-end resort. You pay this huge fee to get in, right? And there's monthly fees. And then everything's included, though. But it's very promotional of active elderly. So they're like, this isn't like a come in hospice. It's like, are you young enough to want to still go out and fuck and go drink and party? And they all go drink and party and go play?

And they all go there to party. And this dude loved, he found cocaine, by the way, which is. No, no, no, no. Yeah, dude. He's driving a golf cart. He's just ripped out of his head. Here's another documentary about it called Golf, Booze, and Guns Inside the Boomer Paradise. It's awesome, dude.

That looks like fun. That's where I'd want to go. The villages. When we get old as fuck, dude, we should start our own. 100%. Let's do it. I would love that. All old comics. You know how much fun we would have?

Yeah. You know? Yes, dude. It's kind of what we're doing here. Yeah, this is kind of it. This is my retirement. We've got a lot of young guys here, too, though. Dude, you guys do.

We've got a lot coming up. The scene out here is moving heavy. It's wild, isn't it? I'm not gonna try, I'm not trying to spread rumors, but old Joey DeRosa

is gonna be here this week and he told me he wants to fucking move here. I don't know if he's gonna, but I love Joe. I'll tell him I'll open up a sandwich shop with him. He, dude,

I think he might jump all over that. Let's go, Joe. I told him, I said, are you really going? I texted him this morning and he's like, where are you? I said, I'm in Austin. He's like, I'll be there go, Joe. I told him, I said, are you really going? I texted him this morning, and he's like, where are you? I said, I'm in Austin.

He's like, I'll be there in three days. I was like, I'm out of here. I'm sorry, man. And he genuinely, I think he genuinely has this interest. I would bug him about it. I don't eat sandwiches, but I would eat one of his sandwiches. No, they're great. If I wanted to take a cheap meal and feel like shit for 12 hours.

That's the one. His fucking sandwiches look incredible. Yeah, dude, it's so good. The problem is, it's a bar too, so, you know, old spotty liver over here. I have to have a couple every time I go. Look at his sandwiches. Oh, my God. They're delicious.

What is that one? Peanut butter and jelly. Peanut butter and jelly. Oh, my God, that looks incredible. Yeah, with Ruffles, original. Oh, my God. He's an animal. There's no health involved in his food. Oh, dude. His food is all about mouth pleasure. Yeah, with Ruffles, original. Oh, my God. He's an animal. There's no health involved in his food.

Oh, dude, no. His food is all about mouth pleasure. Yeah. It looks fantastic, though. His subs look insane. What's it called again? Joey Roses? Yeah.

I was just there. I hear nothing but great things. Just over there with him. I hear the huge sandwiches, too. They are. And it's a great little spot. I think it's in the East Village. I love when a comic does something off the wall like that

Yeah man trying shit is nice It's like give it a fuck Why not Yeah you know like a good buddy of mine A comic he's building a club It's a good thing It's gonna be good It's you

You're my buddy Okay I was confused I'm not building it I just paid people to do it That's right They're doing an amazing job Yeah. You're my buddy. Okay, I was confused. I'm not building it. I just paid people to do it. That's right. Well, yeah, that's right. You're doing an amazing job. I got to sneak peek, man.

It looks good. Yeah, we're close. I'm excited. I told you, though, without giving anything away about it, but like... That kill room, that little room, oh my God. That's what Bobby Kelly calls a kill box. That's a kill box. You know, like his special called Kill Box, because that's how he designed the room. I walked in I knew right away

I was like this will be this you can feel it's something about certain rooms somebody asked me one time on on a show on a podcast about What yeah a guy who wasn't a comics like what's that? What makes like a good room and I go honestly I can name you like physical elements But sometimes I don't know some things are a feeling where you're like wow something hits i don't know what it is i can tell you why i why we like low ceilings and why we like you know the way it's situated but there's just rooms around the country you know that when you go in you're like wow fucking loud there's also old buildings well yeah the history does something to make it feel buildings yeah like when you and

i came back here before, when I was running around with you and we played the old Cap City, I remember you being like, oh man, I fucking love the vibration of this room. And it was something about, I don't know, I couldn't tell you. Been around for decades.

Just has a, there's something that guts of it. You know, I tried to buy that place. The old Cap City? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You did? Yeah, they wanted too much money for it. You know, I tried to buy that place. The old Cap City? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You did? Yeah, they wanted too much money for it. It was like the whole mall. It was like there was a lot of work involved, and it was not in town.

The whole situation was not ideal. And so I decided not to go with that, and then I went with another one, another place that turned out to be a former cult owned it. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yes, and I didn't know the extent of the cult. I had heard it was a cult. What kind of call and then I watched a documentary called Holy hell, it's on Amazon. Yeah, the guy who ran the cult fucked everybody including the guys He would charge the guys for therapy charging 50 bucks for therapy and then he'd fuck them That's everybody and it's a part of therapy. And this guy was like a low rent actor.

He was in Rosemary's Baby for like a very small scene like as an extra. Oh, okay. Not one of the characters. No. No, he's like one scene with Mia Farrow.

Right. And this guy went on to start this fucking cult in West Hollywood and then I don't know like if people were chasing him down or whatever, but he upended

and took everybody to Austin and had them build this theater for him to dance in. Just to dance? Just to dance in. With other people? Well, he would dance and perform for like all of his flock. Wow. Yeah.

And then he up and took off and went to Hawaii. And, you know, there's people that are still upset. Pretty fun life though. One of the guys confronted him in Hawaii. That, you know, there's people that are still upset. Pretty fun life, though. One of the guys confronted him in Hawaii. That's him. Holy hell. That's the trailer.

That's the guy. The guy had a bunch of plastic surgery and shit. It was really weird fucking scene. And that was that place. I'm like, oh my God. So I got out of that place.

I was like, oh no. So we threw that place away. Well, that place, there was another issue that came about with that place before we found the place we're at now but the new joint is great the new joint is gonna be hopping it is gonna be great it's funny to see so it's great to be I appreciate you for it's funny to be a part of those things because I know you know an X amount of years it'll be cool

to it'll just be neat to look back and I do that's fucking wild I remember when you were I like being able to say that when we're having a whiskey in 10 years being like, I remember when you were, remember when that was coming together? Man, that's wild what it is now. It's just cool to see something kind of coming together. It's uncomfortable to start things. It's exciting, but it's also, it's uncomfortable. We talked about last night, I was doing all the material. It's so hard starting again or starting a new or fishing for doing something different, but it's really good for the mind

It's good for you as a person. Mm-hmm. It's good You need different kinds of experiences and starting something from scratch is a different kind of experience That's the one of the things about like moving moving to Austin was a different kind of experience Like I'm in a different place now. It's a totally different setup. I like it I like doing things like that. They upend you and they make you sort of recalibrate. And, you know, you have your bumps. You have your like, well, maybe this is the wrong move.

Maybe this is the right move. Who knows? But then you find your way, you know. But there's something about starting something new and difficult that's like very exciting for people. That's why I'm going to New York in May for that reason. You're moving to New York? I don't say moving. You gonna get a spot yeah where at what part downtown oh i just like i just like the rhythm of new york a lot i have a lot of good friends there um and something hit me recently where i was like i have the i'm blessed enough whatever you want to say i'm privileged privileged enough that I can do it.

Right. So I want to do it. And I'm working on this thing out there. Did you talk to Ari? Yeah, of course. You know him. Yeah, he's the fucking main recruiter for New York. He's the cult leader of getting people there.

He's like, you must come to New York. He loves it. He was excited. He was living there. He loves being a part of that fucking hum. All those people. It's just, I do love it. I want something different.

West Hollywood was a long period of my life. Now I live somewhere else in LA. And then I just was like, what if I jump out of LA for a while? Good for you. It's good for you. Shake it the fuck up. Shake it the fuck up. It's good for you.

So many road gigs around there too. If you're on the East Coast, you can go all over Connecticut and do road gigs. Jersey, Philly, Boston. Yeah, everywhere. A few hours drive and you're on the East Coast, you can go all over Connecticut and do road gigs. Jersey, Philly, Boston. Jersey, yeah, everywhere. A few hours drive and you're everywhere. LA is like San Diego, San Francisco. Yeah, and the amount of time it takes you to San Diego, you really have to leave at noon. Because the traffic you hit in Orange County is fucking preposterous.

Yeah, it's gross. It'll take five hours sometimes. Easy. That's why I need that jet pack, dude. That's why I'm... And just soup down there. Burr was doing gigs in San Diego and he was taking his helicopter. Helicopter.

Dude, insane. That's so fucking cool, by the way. It's amazing. He's flying himself to San Diego in a helicopter. Yeah, I'll do the gig. Yeah, I'll come down. You got to have a fucking pad for me to land on. Yeah, you got to find a pad.

I saw a video this morning on the internet of how it was like, it was in the Hamptons or something maybe. And it was like how rich people fuck with other rich people and it was a dude and he's yelling at the helicopter and the guy's in a helicopter and he's like near his i mean dude he's got to be 20 feet above no shit above his pool and the wind is blowing all his yard shit all his pool like uh chairs and shit all over the place and the guy's pissed and then you can tell that they're laughing about it and then they fuck off in the helicopter so he's doing it just just to fuck with this guy oh my god yeah it was badass it was so funny dude it was like this is this is how the the richest

have nothing to doers this is exactly how they fuck with each other is that legal no fucking no way how close are you allowed to be to a person's house with a helicopter i can't imagine you're allowed to be anywhere near personal property. I mean, private property. You can kind of fly around in those things. It was very bizarre. But what's the restricted space? I don't know.

I don't know. But when I went out with Burr, we were flying around. You just go where you want to go. We flew over downtown LA. We flew over these buildings. It remains to how many buildings have X's on the top where they have a landing pad on the top. Now, there's air traffic, obviously, he's in communication with. Can you land on one of those?

It's a very good question. I don't think so. I think it's private property. Sure. But I think that I don't know if you have to tell everybody where you're going. You know, like if you're on a plane, you have a direct flight path. But Bill's kind of moving around, like doing whatever he wants to do. And they're like, let's go over here.

Okay, we're going over here. Let's go over to that thing. And then the guy who he's with is like his co-pilot, who's his instructor. They're talking about where to go. Set it down here, and then you're going to lift it up. So he sets it down on this hill. It's wild. It's such a comedian's machine of flight though

because it's like i'll just wherever man we'll figure it out as we go yeah like it's just like you're improvving the whole time in the air you're like i guess we'll go over the fucking buildings we'll go over there i did that once in a uh single engine cessna yeah when i was in college man i was so dumb my buddy my buddy mark was a pilot yeah he used to take us up all the time. And honestly, I don't regret it. But looking back, I'm lucky I'm alive. We would just go. Like, we would fly to, we flew to San Diego. We flew all over Denver.

He was like, you want to see the stadium? I was like, fuck yeah, dude. Fuck. Stone flying over the stadium. He was sober. He was sober. But I was like, it's funny that if you're in training, you can just take one of these fucking things up. You can take one. Yeah, you take one Yeah, you have to register a flight flight plan and then you know

He pays for miles while he's getting his permits and you pay for gas and all that stuff Yeah, dude, we just took it. We would take it to play It was we landed in Long Beach one time at Long Beach little Regional Airport Yeah, dude, it was dude it was it was very stupid when I was hanging out with Phil Hartman he had his own plane he had one of those

kind of planes a single engine plane he took me up in his plane he was so like so disciplined in his like his aviation work

like he had like in between takes he would go over his flight book he was like reading he was reading all this because he had to take his flight examination so he started doing it when we first started news radio but like two

years later he's got a plane he's flying around and so i'd go up i went up with him once in this little single engine plane like he's showing me like all these areas in the valley and it's cool though places to live it's sketchy but it's It's sketchy, but it's pretty badass. The freedom that you get, you're just alone up there floating around. It's pretty amazing. Have you seen these guys that go up in paramotors? Fuck. Oh, yeah, the paramotors are so badass. That's so insane.

They're just fucking floating at 6,000 feet. That's so insane. Look at that guy. By the way, this is another thing where you're like, you just go wherever the fuck you want to go. Now, how do you stop from getting hit by a plane? Well, you're only 5,000 or 6,000 feet up. How many in-air collisions take place? You know?

They used to happen more often, I think, but they definitely still happen. They happen at those air shows. Dude, I saw that. Did you see the one recently, the air show in Dallas? It shook my core. They're flying those old-ass planes, too. It just banked so strange. The way that other plane like just banked, you were like, oh God.

Like immediately, you knew almost right away. Yeah, that's fucking horrible. But it happens. I feel like this happens so much that you're like, why are we still doing these air shows? Doesn't this every year you're like, you hear what happened at the air show? And you're like, yeah, the fucking 15 kids heads got cut off because they came too low. I feel like every year something wild happens. Unless you're a blue angel. You know what happened at the air show and you're like, yeah, they fucking 15 kids heads got cut off because they came too low I feel like every year something wild happens unless you're a blue angel, you know, I mean Why are we still doing local fucking?

Local air shows they always how many air show accidents happen All the time. I feel like every year someone's like, oh, yeah, that was fucked up what happened at that one Even like those Thunderbird guys they crash sometimes. I think they have accidents, but I don't know if they crash crash, but I do think there's, they'll have accidents in the air, but those guys are like. Cream of the crop.

Oh, tip top. Mark Smith, who's one of the UFC referees, was a Thunderbird pilot. Was he? Yeah, I had him on the podcast. It's amazing. Like you watch like the videos of those guys flying around.

Insane. They're like right next to each other's wings. Yeah. I know. It fucks me up when I see it. Like, you watch, like, the videos of those guys flying around. Insane. They're, like, right next to each other's wings. Yeah. Like, shh. I know. It fucks me up when I see it. You're always like, I would. Although.

All you have to do is, dank. If it was you and me. Man. You know I'd be fucking around. Like, you're like, don't fuck around. Don't fuck around. Dude. Oh, my God.

Can you imagine someone accidentally fucks around? You both die. Tip a wing. Wasn't that in Top Gun, right? He fucking. It was a bad accident in 1982. The Thunderbirds? Yeah, all four died. Tip of wing. Wasn't that in Top Gun, right? He fucking... It was a bad accident in 1982. The Thunderbirds? Yeah, all four died.

All four died? Yeah. Jesus. I don't know. It says that was the last crash also, so I don't know that there's been another one since then. Because they do those exhibitions all the time. They're badass, dude.

It's, I mean, just the... I mean, that kind of flying. So cool. Imagine the kind of power and maneuverability That a fighter jet has to handle the G's to on those turns flipping like that constantly I'm immediately throwing up. I went up at the Blue Angels once did you yeah? Yeah, we did this you had to drive all the way down to like San Diego And then you had to drive deep into the desert. It's pretty far in and they

take you up in an FA 18. I think it was, it was wild. And you're not using, um, a, uh, a G suit. You're just, you're doing something called hooking where you hold onto the handle. And as you hit heavier G's, you have to go like this. You're literally forcing blood into your head. Right. And you're feeling your consciousness closing in like an elevator door with the Gs. We got to six and a half Gs before I couldn't take it anymore. Six is a lot. It was a lot.

That's a lot. But those guys can do like nine, 10, 11, 12. Well, sometimes I should like getting stoned and watching those G-Force training videos just because the faces they make are, yeah, dude, it's, at some point, what's that, it's like that, oh, JV, grousing, grousing, there's a sport in Britain where people try to make the most fucked up face, there's like an award for it, I swear to God, I don't know, I don't know what it's called, dude, but there is a, it's like, this is old British shit. Like, you know, like the cheese hill, you know, where they've rolled that cheese down the hill, they have to chase it.

It's kind of like that, where it's been around for like 300 fucking years. Fox hunting. Yeah, they're like, we're still doing it. But it's like, who can make the most insanely grotesque, absurd face? And they put a horse, yeah, this. What is it called? Gurning. Gurning.

Gurning. Brother. And it's, how. What is it called? Gurning. Gurning. Gurning. Brother. And it's how long can you hold it? That guy has a nail through his lip. Oh, yeah. Some of the greatest gurning videos. Yeah. Gurning. Like this guy. They should combine that with darts.

But this is what the G-Force looks like whenever I see it. So this is the gurning champion? Yeah. This is what you did when you didn't have movies and TV. This is the gurning god, yeah. Oh my god, look at these people. There's a contest. The most fucked up face you can make. Yeah.

That's great. This is a big thing. Oh my god, look at this guy. How ugly can you be? This is their competition? Oh, the Brits, dude. They're weird big thing. Oh my god, look at this guy. How ugly can you be? This is their competition? The Brits, dude, they're weird as fuck. When did you hear about this? I don't know, somebody sent something to me recently.

World Professional Gurning. She's a comic. That's Gina Gashier. I can't say her last name. She's a comedian. And she's practicing it with them? Yeah, she's doing probably a travel show or some shit. World ladies' gurning champion. No thanks.

So tell me about your new wife. Well, she's a- I met her gurning. Gurning champion. Gurning together. We were gurning. Someone who doesn't know is like, oh, is that like an extreme sport?

It's like, yeah. Look, you know, it's her passion, so I don't want to pull her away from it. Yeah, that's what people did before there were books. Anything, it's when you stared

at other humans and you were like, that guy's ugly as fuck, we should make him do a thing to make us laugh because we're bored. How do you get attention in the neighborhood?

Yeah, it's the same thing as like gesturing. I imagine how that started was like an ugly weird dude did a thing and Everyone laughed at him and someone higher up was like, you know who would like this the king the fucking king How many times the King murdered the jester every time every time that we that had to been part of the bit Let's google that how many gestures were murdered by King slain jesters? They have it has to be like a very high number. For sure.

Yeah. At some point, they're done laughing. Yeah, shut the fuck up. Kill that fucking guy. Guy's like trying too hard and you're drunk. It's like my favorite, I think I've talked about it on this show, but Stan Macheko, I don't know how to pronounce his last name. His most famous painting is called The Jester

and it's one of my fucking favorites and Stan Stan Macheko I think it is but this to me if I could buy the original if I had enough money I would buy it because it shows how comics feel sometimes when you're done

sometimes when you're done off a stage and you're fucking burnt you're like dude I've been given so much. I'm tired. I did two shows tonight. Like, you just kind of have that moment of just decompression. Right. You're not thinking. You know, like after we would do shows together sometimes, you and I would sit in silence in the green room.

Yeah. And just not say anything. Just catch your breath. Just catch your breath and chill out. That's that Stan Matejko painting. Look up the jester. I think it's called the jester. Do you have any data on how many jesters were murdered?

I haven't found anything yet. No murderous jesters. Most of them weren't murdered. No. Most of them weren't murdered? Yeah, so it seems like one of them, the most famous one, I'm reading the story about how and why he was killed. How was he killed?

Yeah, what did they do? He, like, pushed his luck, it seems like. He asked a question to the king about, what if someone tried to kill me? And he's like, don't worry about that. If someone tries to kill you, they'd be killed. The noble would be beheaded in not more than 15 minutes. He responded, why not 15 minutes before?

His reply made sense, but it was not received well. Yeah, bombed. At a later date, he pushed his luck once more by physically humiliating the king. After telling some joke, the jester slapped Francis I's royal behind amid roars of laughter from

all the court's nobles. The monarch threatened to have him hang for this unless he could come up with an apology even more offensive than that act. I'm so sorry, your majesty, but I didn't recognize you. I mistook you for the queen. Oh, two times. His wit really was the stuff of legends,

but as you may recall, the only people fully off-limits from a court Chester's mockery were the queen and her ladies-in-waiting. I'll be talking about my bitches. The king decided to kill him despite the deal they made, but given that Tribulet was physically disabled

and probably had magical powers, Francis I decided that it would be fair to at least let him choose his way of dying, he did not want to annoy Tribulae too much while killing him. So the jester chose. He told the king, good sire, for St. Nicho... How do you say that? Nichoos.

Nichoos and St. Pinard say, patrons of insanity, I choose to die from old age. The joke completely broke through the king's anger and Tribulae was again allowed to live. He ended up only being exiled from the realm. They just kicked him out. Oh.

I couldn't find it even. I'm sure they were, but like no number and I didn't get anything yet. That also sounds like a lot of anecdotal horseshit. I believe almost none of that, but I like all of it. I liked it, too. I'd like to believe there was a dude that was that funny.

Got his way out of getting killed. You gotta know. Slapped the king's ass, made fun of the wife, and still lived. That's Dan Matejko. That's my favorite. Oh, yeah. That's good. Why this is also so powerful to me, truly, is if you can see on the right there behind him,

in a more clearer version of this the party is still happening and it's just kind of like this is this is truly how I feel where you're like we just did the gig I you did you put yeah you just need to just be quiet by yourself does he have notes yes that's all his yeah that's all of his performance notes 1862 I never thought of jesters as having notes. Well, they had to prep for shit. They must have.

So that's Stancic, yeah, Jan Matejko. I don't know how to pronounce it. I'm stupid, but. Can you mention, like, how do you apprentice? For a jester. Yeah, and do you work at someone's house for a little while before they move you up to a court? I'm sure he's like, hey, man, you got to take my notes for my bits, and he'll probably run bits, you know? Like those old Catskill comics who just tell old jokes.

Right, right, right. Yeah, and they have somebody who's like, mark down, sometimes when I put my eyes out and I grab my dick, they laugh. So I put that down as a bit of the thing. And you know there's a young kid who's like, oh, grab the dick the eye cross cross eye on the right side that had to be what these guys did because they had to pick people in the you know these guys are the original crowd work kings oh yeah they were this was crowd work at its finest they'd pick people out at the parties they'd go back they'd write some notes about you know something they could lay in because that's what that was interesting i feel like i've heard that before that they said you can't say anything about the

queen you can say anything about anybody else. The queen and any of her crew, you're not allowed to say shit about. But everyone else is like, oh, fuck them all. Fuck everybody. The king would be like, you can, the most powerful man, fuck him. So kill the messenger, from what I'm reading, comes from jesters being killed in battlefields because the masters made them carry the messages

to the other leaders. Great. Jesters were often required to go to battlefield with their masters to carry messages between the leaders of warring armies, demanding that a city surrender to a besieging army or delivering the terms for the release of hostages. Unfortunately for jesters,

the enemy did sometimes kill the messenger as an act of defiance, especially if they regarded the terms for the release of hostages. Unfortunately for jesters, the enemy did sometimes kill the messenger as an act of defiance, especially if they regarded the terms being offered as an insult. And some used a catapult or a trebuchet to hurl the unfortunate messenger or his severed head back into his own camp as a graphic illustration

of what they thought of the message. Dude, can you imagine a trebuchet, fucking a huge human catapult, but just you're chilling with your boys and your old boy's head comes up. Yeah, I told them to go tell him to go fuck themselves.

No, he said go fuck himself. I guess they fucked him. I said, give me all your women and all your gold and we're good. Then a fucking head comes flying into the windshield. Sometimes that cruel and unusual punishment shit

that they would do from years ago, like some of it was like grossly funny. It's still gross, but it's like, that's hilarious to be like, cut his head off,

throw it back at those guys. Yeah. And they would just load it up in a catapult, fucking huck it at your friends. The psychological aspect of a fucking head flying over the wall

of the castle. It's a deep cut. You think anybody laughed? You think of the crew, you think one guy was like... They're probably used to it. Yeah. They're probably used to people getting their heads chopped off. I mean, back then, people fought with swords.

People died every day that someone you knew someone was dying. And probably in the streets, people are getting stabbed left and right, because life and death was probably so cheap. It was a common place where you're like yeah he died big deal yeah he got cut up it happens yeah they sliced his arms off yeah what are you gonna do the mongols would light people on fire and then use their bodies to light buildings on fire with catapults i thought you're gonna say for warmth did they ever light people on just just a warm-up like it's cold do whatever they wanted to like man i'm freezing burn

burn nick if you could imagine horrific ways that people died that one of. Sure they did. They probably did whatever they wanted to. Like, man, I'm freezing. Burn Nick. If you could imagine horrific ways that people died. One of the things they did, the way they would kill royals is they wouldn't kill them like they would kill regular people. So they would put them sometimes, they would stack them and then put boards over the top of them and then eat dinner on top of them and crush them to death. Shut up. Yeah. They used you as a table? You were a little side table? You were the thing under the table.

That's awful. They built like a whole structure over you. And then everybody would like lay the tables out and all the food out and then all the people would walk onto it and then they'd just crush you. The visual is funny. I know it's terrible,'s just funny it's fucking it's fucking dark dude that's that's not that long ago that people did that to people no it's not that long no but the

reasoning has changed so heavily it's funny you know technology they say it's like it jumps like you know it's like the fastest moving thing we have. It's technology continually just like overleaping itself. Think about giving us a little bit of credit as a society, as people, that we're pretty good to a degree at times changing our ways of like, we can't do that shit anymore. For the most part. Yeah, we're trying. It's definitely a lot better. Well, it's only going to get better. This is wild that you think that not that long ago that shit would happen, but you're like, it is nice we don't do that

anymore. But now, we kill people with drones. Yeah. If you're in a wedding party in Yemen, and you hear you hear something headed your way. You're like, what? Boom! It's a gift from someone. Yeah.

No, yeah, we're more... The drone thing's wild. We're getting further away from... we don't want to see it. Yeah, we don't want to eat lunch on your compressing body. No, but we want to pay someone far away to do it to you. But we want to launch a rocket out of our flying robot. Yeah, it's nuts. Yeah. It's terrible, but, you know, we're not pulling on your,

the Chinese torture tactics were wild though. You read about those things. Like they were. What did they do? Like, well, I mean, water torture might be like the one that most people know. That might be like the, I think that's probably like the easiest one. Do you know what I mean? I mean, they took tactics from, like even stuff like four horsemen type of shit, pulling you in all separate directions.

I mean, people would watch you get pulled apart and stand there. Yeah. Like, no big deal. Like, it's, you know. What's this one? These are torture methods. Forced abidance in a painful position. So your head would be in a cage, and then your foot would be on a stool.

I mean, that's nuts. Yeah. They make you stay outside and freezing cold overnight. Yeah, so inside's fine. Outside, it's like negative 12. And your head is stuck in the cage and if you wobble enough, the stool falls,

you fall asleep, you die. You choke yourself out. That's just that kind. There's hanging, electroshocking, forced feeding, burning, scalding. Yeah, look at that one.

Pouring hot water on you all day long? Yeah. All day. Just burning water, intermittently burning with water. What does that go up a little bit? Burning hot iron bars? Yeah, I was trying to see. Some victims were tortured with burning hot iron bars.

Due to the bad hygienic standards in Chinese prison, this leads to the wounds becoming infected. Yeah, they were good at it, dude. The Chinese were good at fucking with you. Isolation. That shit's crazy. Halfway underwater. Water dungeons. Yeah, water dungeons.

Yeah. Shit's nuts. Dude, it's nuts. By the way, the bottom one is just tough for people like me. Prohibition of eye contact and speaking. They're like, just don't let that idiot talk to you. He'll kill himself at some point. Stab and cut wounds.

Ling Chi. You know Ling Chi. You know what that is, right? No. Death of a thousand cuts. They slowly cut you with minuscule cuts thousands and thousands of times. Red pepper is blown into the victim's eyes or nose.

Make you not go to the bathroom. Wait, do bring up Ling Chi so I make sure I'm not saying the wrong thing. But I think that's the one. Your skin begins to, like, just, like, fold off itself. Yeah, ling chi. Ling chi. Oh, God.

Slow slicing. Yeah. Oh, my God. That shit's insane. Most terrifying punishment in history. history cut by torture cut by cut torture method don't as ling chi may have been used for hundreds of years oh my god yeah the tang dynasty started that shit baby so they tie you up beings are capable of some horrific shit wretched and they got a kick out of this shit.

Like, this was like, you know, this is them being like, I know what we want to do with this guy. Not kill him. Not just shoot him and get it over with. I mean, it's just wild to me to want to see it. Just sit and watch some guy just slowly skin falls off his bones. This does say that many of the accounts of Ling Chi have been mythologized. Oh, really? To fit a sensationalized Western narrative.

Savage practice. All right. So maybe it's what they're saying. It's one case provided photographic evidence. Okay. Wasn't one enough? I think so. How many do you fucking need?

Right there. That is insane. That is not good. No. What? Oh, my God. Look at the dude's ribs. Yeah, I'm not showing that on the screen.

No, fuck that. Don't show that. Don't show that. And that guy's still alive. He was said to meditate daily upon the image below in particular and never stop being obsessed

by this image of pain at the same time ecstatic and intolerable. Oh my God, look how horrible that is. Dude, have you seen, have you seen, this made me think,

have you seen that family in like Puerto Rico? They like exhumed their grandmother and walked her around town what it just was on the news i don't know if it's puerto rico they exhumed their grandmother and weekend at bernardy's they did bro they puppeted her around town and people in the streets are they it translated they said they're heard saying let the dead rest put her back put

her back but apparently like they have the legal right to exhume family bodies something in the article was saying how like how late after she died i mean hold on what is it not true not that's not true well according to snopes this is uh i mean tell me is this the thing you saw no that's not it nope well then no no i don't know what it's a spanish-speaking country and i'm foolish to not know what it was but if they exhume their grandmother around walked around town yeah there's if there was a video in the New York Post put it up of them like speaking to

her do New York Post exhumes grandmother where yes right there that's it yeah this is real fuck drop dead fuck? Drop dead gorgeous. New York Post, hilarious. Grandmother buried for 10 years. Still has a full head of hair and enough bones to stand up with little support. Buried for 10 years. The DR.

So they pulled her out out of being in the ground for 10 years. 86 when she died. 86 in 2012. Pull that up. Go full screen with that. That's insane. Look at that. They that up. Go full screen with that. That's insane. Look at that. They're like making sure her dress is on.

People, they say in the video, are heard saying like, let the dead rest. Put her back. This is, you know, what do you do? This is so insane. He's smiling. That is so insane. He's rocking it. So this lady's like putting her dress on.

Yeah. I go, Grandma, you look lovely. Keep her decent. He's wearing a Toronto Blue Jays hat though. Shout out Blue Jays. How crazy is that? How crazy is that? How crazy is that? They thought that was a good idea.

But if I'm not mistaken, in the article, it says that they say this is not illegal to exhume your own blood. Go to the picture of her, Jamie, right below it. Oh. Isn't that nuts, dude? Bro, that's like right out of The Walking Dead. Yes. Like, if you saw that, you would assume that that's not real.

Yeah, the family was in complete shock. They were shocked that she stayed together so long. Still had skin covering parts of the bones. So they wanted to move her to another cemetery. Oh, God. Dominican Republic, dude. Look at the one down below. Look at that photo.

That's what she looked like when they pulled her out before they put the dress on her. Oh, my God. That's so creepy. So creepy, dude. That's her alive. That they put the dress on her. Oh, my God, that's so creepy. So creepy, dude. That's her alive. That's how you should remember her. Go back up again to that picture? What the fuck, dude?

Also, 10 years, still full head of hair? Shocking, though. I was blown away. I'm like, full head of hair, 10 years? What would you think? The hair would just rot out of the head with the skin? For sure. That's what I thought.

It looks like she's mummified. Well, maybe they did put her in something. Put her in a movie. Well, then there's the embalming, right? Like, what does that do? That stops you from deteriorating the same way, right? Formaldehyde? Did she get embalmed?

Is that why she's like that? Or is that like a mummification process? That looks more mummified. Because isn't embalming, doesn't that like really, that preserves the like a mummification process? That looks more mummified because isn't embalming, doesn't that like really, that preserves the shit out of you, right? Well, I know from that

HBO autopsy show they would go and dig up embalmed bodies and find out there was like arsenic in them and things that the people had done to poison the people and kill people.

Oh my, like after the fact? Yeah, they'd like, they'd solve some murders. I know a guy that was doing a documentary about body brokerage where, you know, your body parts could be sold.

No, I'm good, baby. Your body parts could be sold post-mortem? Yeah. So you could make a deal while you're alive? I don't know the specifics. It was like after they were dead, they would sell grandma. And he said the high percentage of these, the high percentages of what was going on, you know, in this marketplace was for reassignment surgery.

So it was like, you know, it was either like skin for new dicks or skin for vaginal reconstructive surgery and shit. Yeah, at the time. Yeah, when he was doing it. When was this? Seven or eight years ago. The body trade. Yeah, it's a real thing. Well, I have heard about it being a real thing in terms of organ donors.

Yeah, body brokers. I think that was the name of his old... Body parts from American donors have been exported to at least 45 countries and thousands of parts sent abroad annually. Demand is high in nations where customs limit selling or dissecting their own debt. In the U.S., though, almost anything goes. Yeah, it was like...

Bro. Yeah, so I ran into him in... I'm looking it up because I'm so stupid. I ran into him in an airport a long time ago. It was a guy named Julian Nitzberg. I was looking to see if I could find the name of it.

Still rocking No Case. No Case. Never No Case, dude. We've talked about this every time I come. Never No Case. Fuck Cases. Don't do it. Get the Apple Care and just break your phone.

Fuck it. Amazing. You're going to die one day. You're still No Case too? Yeah. Fuck that. Fuck Cases. Rare No Case people.

What are you going to do, man? This guy, Julian Nitzberg, though. I ran into him in an airport. He did a documentary that you'd love called Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia. I know that documentary very well. He did that. Julian, I met him years ago through like Dickhouse guys. My name is Bobby Sue.

I always thought Bill thought of me as the sexy one of the family. I shot my dad. The kid shot his dad in the fucking face and he lived his dad came to his house And he shot him fucking live, but that guy Julian he was doing a body broker Thing and he was like it's fascinating to where you can find out like where your grandma's Your grandma's arm is gonna be someone's cock one day, and he was I was like is this all real He's like you'll see when I'm done with a thing I don't know if he's still working on it grandma's arm is arm is going to be someone's cock. Yeah, kind of wild.

Can they get to the point where they make a cock that feels like a cock to you? I mean, I felt a lot of cocks in my day. So if someone was jerking off your arm, even though you feel your arm? This kind of feels like a dick. It's a hairy dick. Right, but it's not that big a deal. Someone jerks off your arm. It doesn't do anything for you.

You can stop. Yeah, cut it out. You know? Yeah, yeah. Like, imagine if they could make a dick that feels the way a dick feels. Not just looks. Like, I've seen the ones where they do

their trans men, and they get, like, a big chunk of their leg removed so there's an enormous scar on their leg. For dick? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they get a monster hog installed. Why can't you take old dead dick skin and make it new dick skin? Is that not possible?

From a dead person? Yeah, why is that not? Body brokers? It came out called Body Brokers. That's a scripted film though. It is, but it's about a similar thing where like a rehab found out that it was really a fraud cover up for a multi-billion dollar company that takes... Whoa. See, look at this. Go back up to the top. It says nearly

all the film is based on John's real life experience. And what wasn't was based on other people's shared experiences with patient brokering in Southern California. Without naming who specifically, Schwab and Rosen confirmed that almost every part of the film is based on one person's experience. Fucking wild. Bro. That just came out, Jamie? That's a 2021? Yeah, this actually sounds like it's a slightly different thing.

Well, when they do that to Chinese political prisoners, like, hey, Mr. Wilson from Connecticut, you need a heart? Yeah, we got you. And you run a hedge fund? Yeah. We might be able to get you to the top of the list. It's going to be all right. What was your blood type again?

We got them all, man. Check it out. It's going to cost X, Y, or Z, and then bam. Yeah, I wonder, why can't they just take old dick skin and make it new dick skin? Because you're right, dick skin is not, dick skin is different. That's a good question. How do you explain it? How do you make it feel like a dick?

That's the thing to you. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, could that be done? Could they, like, hypersensitize all the skin around that area? Well, like turn your right, like turn this into like- Stem cells. Stem cells. Yeah, that's got to be right.

Just program it to become a dick. Where can they grow a dick, Jamie? Can they grow dicks? Well, all right. So I'm finding stuff here. Why did you ask me a question? Jamie always gets into these. I found a post that says like what can human skin human

products are made from human tissue mm-hmm right and it's things you might assume dental implants yeah and penis augmentation heart valves breast reconstruction I saw a thing there was a manifest on a on a ship somewhere that said that there was six thousand000 pounds of human tissue. 6,000 pounds of- It was valued at $67,000, but they didn't know what was inside there. Wait, what? 67,000 pounds?

They were smuggling it in? I'm piecing together stories of body brokering very loosely. This isn't it. This is bringing up the movie stuff. I don't even know how I got to it. I mean, here I've got a few links up. Hmm. Yeah, this is a body. The body trade. Yeah, I found it in this, I guess. Well, 10,000 body parts from donors shipping overseas.

donors shipping overseas. Here you go. According to manifest shipment found bound for Europe included 6,000 pounds of human remains valued at $67,000 that kept it in a 5 degree Fahrenheit container. The body parts came from a Portland business called Medicure Inc., a so-called body broker.

Medicure profits by dissecting the bodies of altruistic donors and sending the parts to medical training and research companies. Well, yeah, you're doing a good thing. I guess. What do you want to do, dude? Do you want to be buried?

Do you want to be cremated? What do you want when it's over? That's a good question. I think the move is Tibetan Sky Funeral. What's up? Do you know the Tibetan Sky Funeral? No, dude. That's the move.

What is that? The move is they take you. They take your body. No embalming. They cut you up and they bring you to the top of a mountain where they chop you up and feed you to vultures while everybody watches. Why? And the vultures know that that's what you're there for because they feed people to these vultures all the time. And so the vultures just eat the people.

Why do you want that? It's a ritualistic tradition. Well, at least my body will be useful. Right. Goes back to nature. I guess. Let's go to Tibetan Sky Funeral. Chill.

So this is a Tibetan Sky Funeral. So look at all these vultures just kind of chilling because they know that people are bringing over bodies. Look, they're fighting over big chunks. That's like a chunk of a human. So they're cutting chunks of hair and meat and all these different pieces. And so I don't know how much they're going to show in this. Here's one.

I'm going to skip ahead to this 45-second video. Yeah. So this is a human body that they've left there. I don't know how much you can see. Oh, I guess we would assume it's human too. We don't know that. It could be something else. I think it's mostly people.

Those are people's bodies laying there. It looks like it at least. And they take them, they take their clothes off, they chop them up, and then the vultures eat them, and everybody watches. And this is how you want to, this is it for Joe, this is Joe Rogan. How would you want to do it? Burn me up, dude.

Burn me. Well, because I don't want to take up any more space. I already took up enough space while I'm here. Look at you. Oh, sweet. Well, I mean it in the sense of like- Climate change. Too many people.

No, fuck that. Not because of that. World population. Well, just because it's like, what do you need? You don't need me around anymore. I'm not going to take up any more fucking- My grandfather used to say, land is for the living. He never...

He was like, fucking cemeteries are bullshit. He's like... They're weird. He's like, land's for the living. You don't need that. You're gone. You did it. Fuck off.

Do you think... There's probably got to be a lot of people that are eyeing that big ass cemetery in LA and going, how much is this worth? Brother, the Hollywood Forever Cemetery? Yeah. No, no, no. Well, that's one. That's where they do movies and stuff

Yeah, what's the no what's the one I'm thinking of the one near the four? It's huge and it's prime real estate. It's it's beautiful. Is it a veteran cemetery part of it? There is a there is a veteran part Hollywood for not I mean, um, Forest Lawn that's it Yeah, part of it is and then the other part of it is people. Just fucking Mike and Jane. Privately owned. What's that? It's privately owned. Yeah, it is.

That land's got to be worth billions. Well, there's multiple. You know where Michael Jackson's, like he's above Glendale, right? Like there's, Forest Lawn has multiple locations, or there are multiple parts to the cemetery, but there's like a ton of famous people buried by buried in by the glendale temple i think um you know who's buried this is funny i don't even this popped into my brain my my dad's old house was in a neighborhood in chicago and across the street from literally from his house was an old cemetery and a bunch of old famous gangsters were apparently

buried there like um right across from his house was jack ruby whoa do you know who that guy is he's the guy that shot lee harvey oswald yeah of course he was buried across the street from my my dad and i was reading up about him because i was like i want to know more about i think his name was like ruben jack rubenstein or something like that but all about his motives and then there was all these conspiracy theories about even people didn't even think he might not be the one that killed Lee Harvey Oswald. Oh, he definitely killed Lee Harvey Oswald. Well, right.

But then they say that he shot him, right? But then there was people said that that's not what killed Lee Harvey Oswald. Well, that's definitely what killed him. But he didn't die on the spot, right? No, he didn't die on the spot. Right. But I mean, he shot him in the guts. Right.

But it was a.22. No. Right? I don't think so. Look up how Jack Ruby shot him in the guts. Right, but it was a.22. No. Right? I don't think so. Look up how Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald. It looked like a.38. Yeah, what did he use? I don't believe he used a.22.

Oh, well, that is bigger than I thought. That looks like a.38 to me. It's pretty small. It's not really, though, dude. Does the arm and the weight of it here shoot him by then? I think he... I think he had shot him by then. Yeah, I mean, I think it's like right in there.

Yeah, you're probably just curling it from the shot. Google what kind of gun Jack Ruby used to kill Lee Harvey Oswald. But yeah, that headstone is right across the street from my dad's old house. I mean, he moved away from there, but... Do you know Jack Ruby was connected to MKUltra? What? Yeah. How?

Jolly West, the head guy from the CIA from MKUK Ultra, went to visit Lee Harvey Oswald after he shot, went to visit rather Jack Ruby after he shot Lee Harvey Oswald. And after Jolly West left, Jack Ruby was insane. He went insane. He was hiding underneath his bunk. He was saying that they're burning the Jews alive and millions are dying. He gave them acid. He dosed them out while he was inside after he had shot

Lee Harvey Oswald and shortly after that he died of cancer. Yeah, cancer like riddled his body. I was reading about him and it came like out of nowhere. They probably did. Came a little shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up shot. Came a little shut the fuck up shot. Because they up shot. Gave him a little shut the fuck up shot.

Because they were like, oh no, man, he got cancer overnight. Like, what? It was all over his body. Yeah. But before he was okay? Totally. They probably just force fed him radiation. Something. They gave him radiation with his acid. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But that MKUltra thing, there's a book on it called Chaos by Tom O'Neill.

It's an amazing book. He was Greg Fitzsimmons' next door neighbor for like 20 years. What? And he'd been working on this one book. It started off as a magazine article, and as he started researching the magazine article, it just got deeper and deeper. He found out more inconsistencies and more things that were fucked up. And then he eventually realized that Charles Manson had been visited by Jolly West in prison and that they had experimented with Charles Manson with crowd control and mind control and cult control methods. And they provided him with LSD

most likely, and most certainly got him out of jail every time he got arrested afterwards. People would have arrested Charles Manson for all sorts of shit while he was on parole. They should have put him in jail for the rest of his life. They were like, well, he's above our pay grade. We're being told to let him go. So they would just let him go. And then he would go out and run these hippies and have a murder people. And this is at the time where they were trying to infiltrate the hippie movement. The same way the FBI tries to infiltrate these fucking wacky militias and get them to go kidnap the governor of Michigan. Back then they would dose people up with acid and get the hippies to go murder people. They're like, this is a great way to crack down on the anti-war movement.

Great way to crack down on the hippies. Get everybody terrified of this young movement of these flower children. And they're not so peaceful after all. Matter of fact, they're fucking murderers. So they literally got a murderer in prison, got a crazy psychopath in prison in Charles Manson, taught him how to run a cult, taught him how to control people with LSD, and then supplied him with LSD and sent him out in the world. Holy shit.

Yes. That's trippy as fuck. It's an amazing book, man. The book's great because it's very detailed, as you can imagine, because Tom worked on it for 20 fucking years. And how many has he written outside of that? I don't think any. That was the one.

I think that's his big book. That's the one. He's working on a second book because he had so much data just from that one case that I think he's working on a second book right now. What's it called? Chaos. Chaos. Yeah.

It's wild. It's really interesting stuff, man. 38. 38. 38. Yeah. It's really interesting stuff, man. 38.

38. 38, yeah. The most famous gun in the world. An original bullet shot from the most famous gun in the world. Jack Ruby. Colt Cobra. 38 special. Yeah, see, I know my guns. But look at it.

It says 435 out of 5,000. So they shot bullets out of it, I think, to sell. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. They shot 5,000 bullets out of it to sell. How many dummies are like, I want that bullet. Shot that son of a bitch Lee Harvey Oswald who definitely acted alone. Yeah, he was by himself.

I want to shoot a gun, shoot something. That is so funny they had a meeting about it. They're like, should we just shoot bullets out of that fucking thing and sell them? Someone's like, yeah, some dummy will buy that shit. Why do they only do 5,000? They should do it every year. Keep doing it. Keep doing it. Do it till the product runs out. What are you, crazy? The gun still works. Now you know how the card game works. That's right. That's what's happened in the cards

with the Ken Griffey Jr. card. What happened? That was like the most famous baseball card you could buy for a while. Yeah. And it turns out like Upper Deck got caught printing sheets and sheets and sheets of them and selling them to the collectors. They're not numbered? They weren't numbered? No, they weren't. There's a documentary about this

actually that's like a scam. It ruined the card industry for quite a while. And now only one company is allowed to sell baseball cards. Who is it? Topps? Upper Deck? I think Topps got the contract, yeah. Yeah, it's the same way I feel about golf, I feel about baseball cards.

Like, what are you wasting your time doing? Now that I understand. At least golf is a career. There's a sport. Yeah, there's something to it. It's a legit sport. Like some people, you know, they make a lot of...

What do you think about the fucking, the live golf thing? Love it. Absolutely love it. Why not? Tell me more. Here's the reason. And I told you, before this, I know a guy that went over there. And here's the thing.

Some people love the preservation and the history of the PGA. I get it. Tradition. A lot of things about the PGA are bullshit. And particularly the idea that the PGA had a stronghold on them. It was kind of like, it has like the remnants of like contracts from studios in the 50s for actors where you're like we own your fucking ass your likeness your rights your images when the golfers golf they can't use that footage they have to license it from the pga so if i'm out playing and i want to be like hey man i want to put a post on instagram about this dope ass putt i hit or whatever this great you have to buy it you have to buy your shit back from them bullshit why if I'm a if I'm Zion Williamson in the NBA and I fucking yoke on some I put my dick

in their fucking face and dunk on them the NBA can't wait to give you the footage they're like dude post that shit because it's gonna help their brand PGA is old white guy bullshit and it's I get it that it's antiquated so some of the younger guys were like fuck this i want more freedom and fun i want something different some of them their careers are on the other side so they might not be making so much more to win money right so this is a great alternative the problem people had was like dustin johnson or you know guys that are at the top and they're like why are you pulling your game over there do you think

you can't win anymore in this which is part of the controversy but what's the big controversy the big controversy is Saudi money but Saudi money is invested in tons of shit look up Saudi money LPGA.

Look that up. The investment of the Saudis isn't like a new thing in American sports. So people are just mad because, the PGA particularly is mad, because they're looking something in the face that's threatening them. It's not going to be bigger than the PGA, but it's an alternative that's fun. People like threatening them it's not going to be bigger than

the pga but it's an alternative that's fun people like it it's not going to be bigger not going to take it over but they don't what people are concerned with is that people are leaving and they're going to work for someone who's been accused of some horrific shit sure but who made your jeans these are american jeans but you know what i mean it's like most people made by origin but most people go oh dude i don't like that it's like most people these are made by origin but most people go oh dude I don't like that it's like

your fucking shirt was made by a Chinese kid there's a lot well your phone if you're complaining about stuff you're literally complaining on a device that was made by slaves

well that's my point so I think when you start to get into the nitpicky stuff I'm always like I understand the idea of like being like people are anti

them playing for Saudi money But you if you think you're not involved in Saudi money at a high sports level. I'm sorry, but it's there Well, the WWE fans are freaking out now, right? Why? Jamie what's that about? That the Saudi investment fund bought the WWE I believe, okay Well, what are you gonna do happens now? I don't know I don't know if I get no what happens now I don't know I don't what happens now

well there's no divas there's not gonna be any women look at that Vince McMahon WWE talent done if company is sold to Saudi Arabia

thank you brother TJR Wrestling it says it's not sold to Saudi Arabia according to them so this is what was happening on Twitter last night

the Twitter WWE Twitter world freaked out it was like trending all night well go to Snopes. What does Snopes have to say? Oh, they had an answer?

Is WWE being so... Research in progress. Still going. So, yes. So, the answer is yes, and they just can't leak it yet. Well, the money comes around if it's a substantial increase in money. I think here's the deal. I understand tradition, but if these guys want an alternative league to play in,

fucking let them go play. Who gives a shit? I don't know. Why do you need a monopoly of one league? I mean, you look at the history. That's not what the problem is. What people have a problem with is Jamal Khashoggi. Jamal Khashoggi, who was a journalist for the Washington Post, who was dismembered at the Turkish embassy

at the, supposedly, at the instructions of the Saudi royals. Yeah. He was critical of them. Yeah, but I mean, I don't know, man. I don't know who, and I don't know who literally is funding. They could be just Saudi businessmen

that are funding Liv. I don't know this particulars, but I don't know. That's what I'm saying is saying is like whatever if they want to go play in that league and they're comfortable with it let them go play i guess fuck it what an american perspective well let them go play it's fucking capitalism baby you won't get that fucking check that's the trump perspective get that fucking check dude trump told them it's amazing amazing organization they're doing great things great things go get that money I think honestly here's what's really

going to happen they're going to go get that money and then they're going to leave then it's going to be over and it's going to dissipate into nothing or not

if they have that kind of cheddar they have enough cheddar they could literally keep this going forever if they wanted to and they wouldn't put a dent in them no no it's not that you're right

it's more that what guys are going to be willing to either stay there or continue to go over there so the problem is the talent right it's not that. You're right. It's more that what guys are going to be willing to either stay there or continue to go over there. So the problem is the talent, right? It's like anything else. But they're having the events here. Correct.

I went to one. So you don't have to stay. You don't have to go over there. I think they only play one over there. All of them are here. Like I went to one in Chicago, Rich Harvest Farms. and yeah I mean you know look it's it's really interesting to see the internal uproar which I immediately attribute to golf is an old tradition sport so people are really particular so they don't even like that someone's entering the conversation the outs the other perspective

obviously is the one that is the bigger deal is people aren't people are think it's an immoral move right so if it was instead some enormous hedge fund got together and they put all their money together and decided to fund their own alternative golf agency or golf tour. They'd be just as mad. I think they would be just as upset. PGA does not want competition. They don't like that guys are even thinking about going. And then I think, personally, they're shoehorning in the Saudi stuff to go and that's bad. See,

they're more mad about business interests. They don't give a, they don't fucking care about how much of a effect is it having on the top players? Nothing. I mean, my buddy, my buddy's doing a documentary that's coming out on Netflix.

Uh, I think coming up soon in the first quarter of the year about, um, the PGA. And during it, during the middle of filming, half of the guys left and went to live

and he films both perspectives. So, and it's supposed to be really good. It's just, it's not changed much. What's the highest level player? The highest paycheck? The highest level,

like a guy who's like a championship caliber. Phil Mickelson is one of the greatest of all time, arguably, in a span of many, many golfers. I'm not saying he's like number one or number... I'm just saying he is one of the best of all

time, and he is... I think he's the biggest money, right? Wasn't he the biggest? Him or Dustin Johnson. DJ? Yeah, him or DJ got the most. And what kind of money are we talking about? 150 mil, supposedly, to just come over to play before they won any extra money.

Before they got paid out. Whoa. Yeah. That's also part of a contract. No one knows the details of these contracts. Well, they're private, right? They don't have to disclose. Didn't they lose all their sponsors once they went over there, though?

A lot of them lost some of their sponsors, but I don't know if you need them anymore after 150 mil clears. Right. Yeah, I think. What kind of sponsors are we talking about? CDW, you know, like business investment firms. Golf is sponsored heavily by like,

you know, a TD Ameritrade and shit. Oh, right. It's a lot of that shit. Which makes sense. Yeah. Because all those guys,

the guys who like golf. Yeah. That's who likes golf. Yeah. Businessmen. Old businessmen. They love to do business meetings on the golf course. Good to see you,

Phil. I bet if you're a businessman, you probably have to play golf in some circles. It's an advantage. I don't know if in the new era our age is... What's going on now in the youth of business? I don't fucking know what 22

year olds have to do to get through in the corporate world, but I imagine it's still a part of it to a degree. It's an inner circle that you're going to get leverage from some way or another. It's like going to a good school. It's like, dude, I went to Arizona State. Did I have any connections? I made zero fucking friends. I made a lot of fucking friends, but none of them could help me business-wise. It's not like going to Yale. No. Yeah. You go to an accred accredited university someone's daddy is a somebody and

so that's a big advantage in going to a good school that guy and you might want to work in for his firm he might give you a fucking job yeah you want a job does your kid does your kid want it's like that shit but billy's a good kid really good kid and he's top of his class i give him a couple hundred grand a year out of school we'll let him fuck off for two years then we'll figure it out show him how to do coke we'll give him a. But so I think, like, at the end of the day, whatever people, whatever those guys want to do, I just want to watch golf. So I don't give a shit. The PGA is still going to be the number one because it has, you know, the Masters. It has tournaments where it's just.

Now, is this the general attitude of most people? Most people are just letting it go? They don't care? Or people are outraged. Most guys my age, I think Jamie might be in a similar boat where you're like, I don't fucking give a shit.

But my dad's generation is like, no, fucking, it's ridiculous. You don't have to go support in the fucking Saudis. And you go over there and you're abandoning the ship

that like you sailed in on. You know, the PGA built you and it formed you. It would be like if the UFC had a big competitive thing come forward with way more money, which I don't know if that's happened. I'm ignorant.

You could tell me if it has. It hasn't. But that's kind of the same thing. There's some guys who get really good deals that they wouldn't get in the UFC. So what happens is if there's talent that's available that's top-flight talent, Bellator has options. That's an option. A lot of guys will go to Bellator because Bellator will pay them more. But it's like when you get to the world championship like the Conor McGregor, Khabib Nurmagomedov level, I think they make more money in the UFC.

Right. Because they have pay-per-view. Excuse me, pay-per-view. You don't see pay-per-view with Bellator. I think they've done a couple pay-per-views. I don't think they've been that successful. Whereas UFC does a pay-per-view every month. Right.

Every month is an enormous pay-per-view. There's world championship fights where you get the best of the best, and everybody knows who they are. It's like Q-tips, NFL, NBA. That's MMA at the highest level. Right. You can get cotton swabs at CVS that aren't made by Q-tips, NFL, NBA, that's MMA at the highest level. You can get cotton swabs at CVS that aren't made by Q-tips. You're asking for Q-tips. Where's the Q-tips?

Where's Kleenex? Yeah, where's the Kleenex? That's not even the best example because the Q-tips at CVS that aren't Q-tips, the cotton swabs are probably just as good. It's not that fucking hard to have a little stick and a little cotton on the end of it to get elite world class

fighters to compete in the biggest organization to hold that UFC belt you know and have Bruce Buffer say and no you know and they put that fucking strap on you whoa that's the cream of the crop when it comes to combat sports well that's what it is in the PGA

it's like they hold tradition. They've got it by the balls. So no one will, there's no, it's not accredited. You know, live is for fun. It's for money and fun. And I think they're trying to appeal to like a new young market. I think they need to do that shit with the crowd. Well, the live is, live has live music.

They have like, it's- Who has that? That one with the crowd that's a different thing that's the pga that's the pga yeah this has got to be the this is like the one time they kind of let this chaos go it's because it's in phoenix waste management runs it listen it's a great move no it's it's well you should show him a picture of what the 16th hole looks like without those stands it what what they build is mind-blowing. The course outside of that looks nothing like that.

They build this huge structure that's around it. So that structure they put in temporarily? Yeah, that's gone. Most of the time it's not there. What? That's what it looks like. That enormous structure they built temporarily? Yes. And they keep it or they take it down? Just for the tournament. They take it down? The moment the tournament's closed,

that course goes back to what it looked like. Look at the 16th without it. Oh my God, that's insane. Or 17, is it? How many people are in there? I mean, dude, that's got to be,

I don't know, thousands, 5,000. Oh, more. It looks like more. If that was a show that we were doing together, we'd be like, bro.

Just without grandstand, right? Without grandstand. That looks like 30, 40,000 to me, man. Look, that's what it looks like, Joe, without it. Whoa. It's nothing as a time lapse.

How many people were there? Google the, what's the audience size? You're allowed to walk in and out of that area. It's not like you need a seat. Yeah, you don't stay. You can go anywhere on the course the whole day. Right, but how many people get seated by that structure they put in place? How many seats are available?

Take a guess. I'm saying 40 grand. I would say 20K. Yeah, it's like 15,000. 15 or 20K is my- It seems more than that, man. It does. It's so big.

There's a lot of boxes, too. They sell those boxes. It's a 16-to-12. They sell those boxes because people now know how fun it is. Right, but what's the actual number? I don't know that we'll know it. It changes year to year because they add more people. Yeah, but they have.

Okay, let's go the 2021 waste management open crowd size. Yeah, let's see. There's got to be a way to find it, right? Yeah, 100%. I mean, they'll give you an estimate of something. They'll give you usually how many people show up, because they brag about it. 20,000.

But that's the whole event. That's not sitting in there. Yeah, but I would argue half of them are there. That's probably 10 grand, maybe. But what a great idea to get it exciting. Because that was so much more exciting than a normal golf situation. Well, you should hear, when they interview pro golfers... This is only 5,000. 5,000 fans per day exciting because that was so much more exciting than a normal golf situation. Well, you should hear when they interview pro golfers. This is only 5,000.

5,000 fans per day. But that was 2021. This is when the pandemic was happening. Oh, right, right, right. The grandstands are non-existent. Pro golfers say that that's the most nervous they are because people talk shit. They're yelling. Dude, most times they get this as a guy that holds up a thing to shut the fuck up.

Yeah. There, there's no rules. I love that. And you know what's so funny? When somebody does get a hole-in-one like that, they all throw beer. He's got pictures of it where they'll throw beer on there, but they don't get kicked out or anything. It's like the one time you're allowed to throw beer. Okay, so it doesn't look as big as I thought now.

There's not that many seats there. Now that I'm seeing it now. All the seats are on the green. Is that last year? I don't know the exact year. Boy, there's a lot of pressure. No, that's 2017. Fuck up and whack someone in the head with a ball, too.

Look at the new one. The new one's fucking huge. The one from last year was massive. But if you go down, they're building the one here now that doesn't even, it's not for 90 days. They're already starting to build a grandstand in Austin. Jamie, that's from last year. That's way bigger than it was. They're already starting to build a grandstand in Austin. Top right, Jamie. That's from last year. That's way bigger than it was. They're building one here what?

They have a tournament here in Austin, and I just drove by it the other day. They're already starting to build the stands on like that's 12, 13, 14. It's a similar area like this. It's definitely not quite as loud or anything like that, but they're building it now, and it's in the end of March, I think,

is when they're here. It's fun. I like that idea man You wanna go to this you and I can go When is it? It's in like three weeks Let's go you wanna go to Phoenix and go have fucking fun I might wanna go to that When I was at ASU we used to go to this

And if you're a student you get cheap tickets And we would go there and party Our fucking face I mean it's basically like You know Nobody's there to watch golf. Everyone's there to have a good time. It's like the Kentucky Derby. Yeah.

Do they gamble? Oh, fuck yeah. So people gamble on the matches? So on that particular hole, what's really fun is people will gamble on like closest to the pin, you know, but you're doing it with buddies. Like they'll go, the next foursome that's up. Right, there's Phil. He's got a nine iron again.

That's exactly what he hit at 12, which was awesome. This is before he went over to live? Yeah, yeah. Like they'll go the next foursome that's up right there's Phil This is before he went over to live. Yeah, this is a long time ago That is fucking crazy and this only happens at the waste management open Wow, I don't understand why they don't do it more. It doesn't make any sense to me as a new person who's gotten into this. Like, why every single event doesn't have one hole like this. That's the move, right? I don't know.

I'll go back to what I said, dude. It's like old white guy bullshit. Okay, so in Liv, not like this is a selling point, they get to wear shorts. Are you working for Liv? Yeah, I work for Liv. It says don't wear shorts. Everyone's got to wear pants. They have to wear pants. you working for live yeah i work for live it says they wear shorts everyone's gotta wear pants they have to wear pants it's a middle of fucking summer sometimes and they have to wear pants live lets them wear shorts which that's like an old that's my point right why does the pj give a fuck why do they give a because it's tradition they want

they like they because that's why you get that stupid jacket when you win that's tradition though that's that is a very cool jacket i It's green. I will take that fucking jacket. Fuck off. How much would you want one of those fucking jackets? Would you buy that normally? Would you normally buy a green jacket?

You can't buy that. No, but I mean, why would you want a green jacket? Because nobody buys green jackets. That's it. As I wear a green t-shirt. Yeah, yeah, fuck it. No, but it's,

at the end of the day, those guys, in my opinion, will be, what do you think? Don't you think they'll come back from it? I think it'll be a short-lived, fun fucking money grab and it'll be done. It would be really cool. I mean, every league that we've watched now was probably now a conglomeration

of what they were. The NFL was, AFC, NFC. Yeah, of course. Two different conferences. They came together to do something. Something we were just talking about recently. Oh, there's a pickleball league starting. That was two different leagues that are joining up to make a new

pickleball league. That's completely different than this, but yes, it seems like it will be a benefit in the long run. I don't know how it can hurt. I wonder if someone's thinking about doing that with MMA. Like a bigger company that has tons more money, capital. You'd have to have so much more money.

These guys are under contracts. Because the UFC, they purchased the UFC for $4 billion. A couple of bucks. And I think it's worth $10 now. Oh, my God. I think it's valued at $10 now. And, you know, they picked it up. And right when they picked it up, the pandemic hit.

And Dana White kept the fights rolling. So the fights were rolling on while there was nothing else going on in the world of sports. And they were playing them at the apex. So they fought at the apex. The UFC had their own arena. They put together a COVID bubble. Everybody got tested tested you got tested before you got on your flight you got tested when you got there you got tested the day of the event they tested the shit out of everybody and no audience and they had world championship fights with no audience and an octagon that's 40 percent smaller than the regular octagon

why because it's smaller for the building. They decided to make a smaller, they always had a smaller octagon. Like when we used to do fights at the Palms, we used to do like fight nights or when they used to do like the finals of the Ultimate Fighter, they would have them at the Palms and they'd have them in a small cage

and then they decided they kind of liked the small cage because the Palms was a small place where we would do it at. When we did fights, see if you find fights at the the palms. I saw kickboxing at the palms. I saw glory there I saw a bunch of shit at the palms the palms was a great spot and they used to They used to have comedy like cat Williams performed there. They had comedy there, too It was this amazing little arena at the palms. Yeah. Yeah. yeah. It was real intimate there. We should go to see fights. I mean, I want to say there's just a few thousand people there. That's a cool-looking room.

Yeah. So that's the Pearl at the Palms. And the way that's set up, that's different than the way the UFC was set up. The way the UFC was set up was like that in the center. And that's tinier than normal. Yes. That's a small octagon. That's a 40% smaller octagon in the Apex.

I think it's the same size as the one they use at the Palm. I'm not exactly sure, but a lot of fighters do not like it. Guys who move around a lot, like Sugar Sean O'Malley, does not want to be at the Apex. He wants to move around. I love you, Joe Rogan. I've seen that, somebody with a collab, that collab of him just going, I love you, Joe Rogan. I've seen that, that, somebody with a, that collab of him just going, I love you, Joe Rogan. I love him.

I love you too, buddy. He's amazing. Yeah, no, he's fucking awesome to watch. Yeah, I interviewed him when he had a broken foot when he was on his back. Yeah.

He broke his foot. What's that foot? There's a really bad foot break and he was out, Liz Frank, he was out for two years. He snapped the bone in the middle of his foot.

It's called Liz Frank? It's called the Liz Frank injury. Yeah, it's not like a name. It's all L-I-S-F-R-A-N-C. Oh, Liz Frank. On the screen, Joe, this is the arena that they're showing that this new indoor golf thing is going to happen next year. Whoa. It's going to be at night, an arena-type thing where everyone's yelling.

Fuck yeah. Back here, you're hitting to the sim like me and Andrew were doing back in the other room. So is this the PGA as well? This is going to... I don't think it's the PGA. All I've heard is it's Tiger Woods and Rory McIlroy have put this together. Well, the PGA's sim... Their logo is on it.

The logo's on it. It's not called PGA. It's called TGL. It's also been unannounced fully. They've just hinted at what's going to happen here or how it's going to work. We don't really know. It's like eight players are going to show up. What are those numbers, 466 yards?

What does that mean? That's how long the hole is. That's how far he hit, yeah. That's how far he could drive it. How far he has left probably. Oh, right. Into the hole. Yeah, it says number one.

He's at 466 yards for the hole. So they'll be in the back, and they'll hit their first one or two shots into that giant screen and then come and finish on the green. On the green. That's amazing. And it'll probably change a little bit. Now, is Tiger back with his leg injury this allows him to compete i mean yeah but he's not gonna you know we've seen we've seen the best we ever were gonna see from him and i think you know how fucked up is his leg i mean it's bad so you can tell when he swings it looks different

i mean his son is the one to look for have you seen what is yeah i've seen his son son looks incredible unreal let me see what it looks like when he swings now. Show, like, Tiger Woods drive. Yeah, there's got to be. I bet you there's a video of him before and after. I mean, he just had to change everything because his, and you can tell when he walks, he's in fucking pain. Like, you can just tell he's just in pain.

And that poor guy, he's had, like, addictions to pain pills in the past. Yeah, fuck yeah. So is this him here? Yeah. This was the most recent thing he's done. This is on the, yeah, the thing they did pain pills in the past. Yeah, fuck yeah. So is this him here? Yeah. This is the most recent thing he's done. Yeah, the thing they did. This is the match. That looks pretty fucking good.

Yeah, he's good. No, he's still got it without a doubt. That looks pretty fucking good. He's still Tiger Woods. That still looks fucking amazing. He can't walk. He just can't walk is what I mean. Really?

So he can do that because he can just deal with the pain. He does, yeah. And then when he walks. What is it like when he walks? Well, part of that traditional thing he's saying. He gets to ride in a cart for this, and part of the thing that he's about to tell you is a big beef with the PGA is you have to have a medical exemption under wild circumstances like this to be able to have a cart during a real event. Right. Otherwise, he would have to walk miles.

You must walk, yeah. Right. That's kind of crazy, real event right you have to walk you must walk yeah right that's kind of crazy too that you have to walk but does it is it fair that he has a medical exemption did they let all these other guys do it as well because he does it well this is just during it this is not a real tournament this is like a for fun capital one sponsors this so it goes to charity so you know what i mean like right they got their under armor logos but in in play like in a tournament play of a real pga match, they can't have carts. No. Okay.

So even him? He could. All the players are saying, Tiger, please come play with us. Ask for this exemption. They will probably give it to you. And he's like, nope. Who is he talking to on the phone? They have Charles Barkley and the people on the announcer.

He's talking to us. I hate to say it, but I'm going to admit it. He's probably talking shit to them. He finally did it a few weeks ago. And I spun one. He tomahawked one and got me. He hasn't beat me yet. This is another thing that golf does.

They have mics on so you can hear the golfers talking to their caddies and stuff. And the PGA doesn't really allow that either. That's pretty cool. That's pretty neat, yeah. To get insight that you don't get. But like, he looks good golfing and he's been pretty competitive when he's gotten to compete. What does it look like when he walks?

He's walking... Well, show him his match with his son that they just did. Do they show him walking around? Yeah. And they keep commenting that he's in pain. And you can tell, dude. I mean, he's a tough motherfucker. This dude is tough as shit. You can tell he's just he's in pain. And you can tell, dude. I mean, he's a tough motherfucker. This dude is tough as shit. He's just going through.

You can tell he's just walking through the pain. But you could tell when he'll hobble, he'll kind of like make a face. And that's a couple of years ago, this injury, right? Two years ago, right, when the car crash was? Yeah. Here's him walking at the British Open last year. This is a long walk. I mean, we don't see him limping.

Oh, sorry. Shit. You can see him limping here. This is after a full round. Yeah, you see how his right leg kind of bows in? Mm. I mean, look. See right there?

Mm-hmm. I mean, he just, you can tell that he's kind of, he's bowing. He's like putting all of his weight on one hip. Not bad. Yeah, we're really pulling hairs here, but I just trust him. He's like, I can't do it. He's like, well. Well, see, that's what I'm saying. We say not bad. You know we're really pulling hairs here, but I just trust him. He's like, I can't do it. He's like, well. Well, see, that's what I'm saying.

We say not bad. You know the truth. Right. You know pro athletes. Right, they're just tough. They're just tough. He's like, fuck it. I'm just going to do it.

I don't care. This is also like a historical thing. It's the 150th British Open. He made a big effort just to get to be able to do this. So he probably worked for months. People can tolerate pain, man, in incredible levels. levels you know when I had David Goggins on David Goggins explained the operation that he had to get done on his knee yeah because he has no cartilage in his knees it's bone-on-bone he runs like a thousand miles as doctor said I

can't believe you can walk in this knee. Yeah. Never mind run thousands of miles. And it's just pure will. Yeah. Just pure will and the overcoming of pain. And because there's just bone on bone, the bone was all distorted and fucking overgrowth and shit to try to deal with all this inflammation. So then they had to cut his bone and slide it down to make an even flat joint. That's nuts, dude. And still even then, he's just bone on bone.

He's still running. Still running. Dude's nuts, that's great. I mean, that's fucking... Running the Bigfoot 240. What is that? 238 miles. No thanks.

Yeah. No thanks. The Moab, that's what he ran, the Moab 240. Yeah, I think the Bigfoot's 200. Do you run? No. Yeah. The Moab. That's what he ran. The Moab 240. Yeah. I think the Bigfoot's 200. Do you run? No. Yeah. No. I hurt my knee a couple of times. And I've been over the last like, say, seven or eight months, I don't even kick the bag anymore. I've been dealing with it. I had an MCL tear.

tear and I rehabbed it and I got stem cell shot into it but my dumb ass kept going back to working out like throwing kicks and every time I would go to Muay Thai and every time I'd hit the pads I'd never hit them light I'd start hitting them light and then I'd want to work I want to feel that fuck I work it's just too much fun yeah it's too much fun to be able to do that to be able to really kick hard is so fun it's so fun it looks fun it's fun but see I would look like what what you look like swinging a golf club I look like king of the fucking bag but you could learn it it's you know it's a time but it's a thing that when you get it to the level where I can do it, it's so unusual to be able to generate that kind of power. So when I step up to a heavy bag, it's just my automatic instinct is just to fucking dig my toes in.

I just want to fucking torque my body and swing my hips in and tighten up my abs. It's exciting. No more, though. I can still do it. I just have to wait a little while it's much much much better my knee doesn't give me any pain anymore this hunting season in the mountains no pain at all I've been doing this knees over toes rehabilitation you ever heard of that guy knees over toes guys on Instagram no he's an expert and well he's a fitness trainer and he figured he had a bunch of injuries himself from playing basketball and to the point where they were

saying like, look, you're too fragile. Your knees keep fucking up. You're never going to be able to play. Right. And so he figured out ways to strengthen and rehabilitate his knees. And he developed this knees over toes program. It a scalable program you start off with just like walking backwards and pulling a light sled backwards and doing certain things till you get to the point where you can you can have strength in a full range of motion with your knees doing things like oh do i have seen this guy i've seen him yeah that's amazing fucking insane and if you can get to that and he it, it's not like a trick. He has a, like, look, walking backward on a treadmill, doing tibia raises,

and it's all to strengthen the muscles around the knee and the stabilizing muscles of the knee, which most people are very weak in. You know, people have, like, strong quads, but they don't have the exercises in their repertoire that develops all the muscles around the knee. And this guy's developed this whole program. It's really amazing. So I do all his stuff. I do a lot of stuff on a slant board.

I do squats, like air squats and then weighted squats on a slant board. And I have this thing that I use for my legs from a place called, I think it's called Animal House Fitness. And it's called a monkey foot. And it clamps onto a barbell. You strap it onto your shoe and it clamps onto a barbell. Or a dumbbell, rather. So you can pick up dumbbells with your foot. So you can do knee raises and leg curls and leg extensions and really strengthen all the muscles around your knee and around your hip flexors.

Because lifting with your legs this way, like a reverse squat, is another excellent way to develop speed and power. So this is this company, Animal House Fitness, and they sent me these. These are fucking amazing. I bring these on the road with me. I bring one of those things. Because if I go to a small gym, I can still get a really good leg workout. And that, that's one thing that I do that really works well with the, those hip muscles and stabilizing muscles. But there's another thing you do where you take a cable pulling machine and you attach the straps to your insteps. And then you pull with your feet forward towards your chest. So like a reverse squat. So instead of like lifting weights by pushing up off the ground, you're pulling it towards you. Phenomenal for your abs. It's like one of the best ab workouts.

Think about knee raises, but think about knee raises times 10. So, you know, I'm doing this with 100 pounds for 10 reps, and it really builds the strength in your ab muscles and your hip flexors, and you tie it into your shoes like this. So you pull that thing down, you cinch it up, and then you back up, and then you're just using the muscles. See, but it looks like he's doing it just the regular ones at the gym. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's what I use. I use a regular pulley machine at the gym with those straps. So I do it with the monkey feet, but I also do it with that.

So you're developing muscles and it's phenomenal for kicking too, because the hip flexors and all these muscles at the top of the thighs, like those, they don't get worked out with weights very often. So you really develop those by hitting a bag, which is the best way to develop technique, but you can develop additional power by doing that. You ever want to kick anybody anymore? Sure. Of course.

Why don't you kick somebody? If I could kick like you, I'd love to kick them. Then they kick you back. I don't think you're worried about anybody kicking you back. I'm worried about people kicking me back. People like me. Yeah, but there's not a lot of yous, dude. But if I was gonna fight someone, I'd fight someone like me. And then they would kick me

the way I'd want to kick them. No thanks. No thanks, dude. No thanks. That's the rule of life. Fuck that. He's gonna kick me like I kick him. Fuck that. Fuck that. Yeah. And there's also guys break their legs kicking people. You know, someone checks it and you catch your shin the wrong way,

it snaps in half. Let's say there's a guy that's your size. Your size guy. All circumstances are gone as far as who you are in the world of fame and getting in trouble. And this guy wants to fuck you. I don't want to hurt anybody. I know.

But let's just say a guy wants to fight you. And you can. Because of the bubble that we're in in my mental mind there's no trouble that's going to happen are you going to punch this guy first or kick him first? What's your first shot? It would completely depend upon the circumstances. Completely depend upon how much room you have to move around in

how much danger you're in whether or not you could just grab him. He walks in here. I would rather grab somebody. If I grab someone I can contain them. And get them to the ground. Yeah. Yeah.

A hundred percent. All right. Well, let's just say it's just punch or kick. What are you doing first? It depends on the circumstances. It depends on how far the person is from you. Jamie's laughing. It depends on everything.

I know. I knew you were going to give, just give me a fucking. Depends on everything. Give me an ape answer. Give me a monkey brain answer. Well, if you have to get something done very quickly, a punch to the face is a very quick thing. Okay, so you're going to punch first. The movement from standing, talking to someone, to punching them in the face is a fraction of a second.

Bam! If you have a good, clean, straight punch and you know how to throw it fast, that's a... I mean, if you know that you have to hit somebody and you want to hit them before they hit you, that's a good way to go. Okay. I just wanted to know what your instinct was. Yeah.

If you had to do it. Yeah. It's a punch always. If you're fast. Yeah. I just, you know what it really is. It's a speed thing. I just, I guess it's really,

I just want to see you kick somebody. I don't want to see you kick somebody. I do. I did it for a long time. There's a weird, bittersweet thing about knocking someone unconscious. It doesn't feel that good. You think it feels great. It feels very weird.

And it feels like that could have easily been you. And I watched a lot of my friends get knocked out, too. I saw a lot of friends get knocked out where they kind of weren't the same again. They really never recovered. I saw some people get really badly knocked out and they were always a little

fucking weird afterwards. They were always like something was wrong with them. It does. Yeah, it does. Uh-oh. What is this one? This is me and Jamie. This guy on the left tells this guy, you want to lose your kneecap? Oh, no. It's not a good idea to say that, I think. Did he kick him in the knees? Uh, no. Dude gets knocked out after threatening

to break man's kneecap. Well, that was that, I guess. That's the end of that. So what did he say? I'm going to break your fucking kneecap? You're going to lose your fucking kneecap. Oh, that guy knows how to fight. Yeah, it was pretty good.

Because he opens with a left hook. Watch as he goes, what? So fast. The way he left hooks him, that's a guy that knows how to fight. 100% he's done that to people before. And probably in competition. That's a, like, he opens with a left hook. Who opens

with a left hook? But I gotta be honest with you, not like I'm criticizing. Look at how he kind of like... It's almost like he's like, are you talking to me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He like leans into him a little bit. He's like, I'm gonna fucking hit you. He didn't have to do that. No, he did not have to do it. But he works at NASA. I just saw on his shirt that he's a NASA guy. He's like, I'm going to fucking hit you. He didn't have to do that. No, he did not have to do it. But he works at NASA. I just saw on his shirt

that he's a NASA guy. He's an astronaut. No more rockets for him. Yeah. That's it for you, pal. Well, the problem with that is people die.

They fall and they hit their head and they die. You don't want that. He's fighting on a parking lot. You don't want that. You fall, you bang your head off a curb. That's it.

You don't want that. I know, I get that. I remember. I got kicked in the face in college in a fight. Did you? Ugh. Guy kicked you in the face? Well, the side of, I should say the side of my face. I know. I get that. I remember. I got kicked in the face in college in a fight. Did you? Ugh.

Guy kicked you in the face? Well, on the side of, I should say the side of my face. Were you on the ground? Yeah. Ugh. That's scary. Me and a couple of buddies, we got the shit. Dude.

They remember. They know. Fuck it. My buddies know. Fuck it. Colin, Trevor, they remember. Dude, bunch of drunk bros, apartment complex, Scottsdale,

or, well, by school. It was by ASU. A car, a guy was driving drunk and backed out of a spot, almost hit a girl.

My buddy was trying to be a hero, protect the girl. Oh, no. And all these guys came out. And at first, I was like, we don't have to fight these guys. Do we have to fight these guys?

And then they started fighting and I was like, I don't want to fight these guys. There were so many more of these guys. I was like, we don't have to fight these guys. Do we have to fight these guys? And then they started fighting, and I was like, I don't want to fight these guys. There were so many more of these guys. I was like, this is not fun. We're going to get fucked up. And, you know, of course, your friends are like, don't be a bitch. And you're like, I want to be a bitch. I want to go home. And I got kicked in the fucking...

It wasn't fair. It was like seven. We were three of us or four of us maybe at the most. Oh, boy. Yeah, it hurt. Being on the ground hurts. It's so dangerous. Yeah, I hated it.

It was fucking, it sucked. I watched a world star hip hop once where this guy got knocked out and then everybody ran by and kicked him in the head while he was unconscious. Yeah, that I don't like. That stuff's- It was so scary.

Yucky. Because it was like, as this guy kept getting kicked in the head, I was like, that's closer to death. That's closer to death. Oh, yeah. Easily could have died. Might be dead.

I don't even know if the guy lived. Yeah, that's the only thing about when you would let me come see UFC, you know, because admittedly, I don't know enough about it. I'm not filled in. I love watching it, and I love that you bring me,

but I was always like, man, when I saw someone to get worked, I was like, oh, my God, I'm watching part of his life leave him. Mm-hmm, yeah. It's like I was watching a couple of years go by. If you're watching a guy like Khabib Nurmagomedov just smash some guy, get on top of him and smash him. You're, you're watching with each subsequent

elbow, which eat with each punch, which you're closer to death. You can, you're not going to answer this. How much longer do you think you'll, you'll announce UFC? That's a good question. I don't know. I thought about it because I'll'll always be a fan. I'll always watch it. And I do enjoy commenting. But it is kind of weird that I still do it. It's a weird gig. Do you love it still? I love it.

Love it. When the fights are going on and I got my fucking suit on there and I'm sitting there and I'm all excited. I'm filled up with monster energy drinks. I'm fired up, man. I will say, as your friend, it's so funny being friends with being friends with you and watching. What people don't know or don't get to feel is when we go to, like, the thing together and, like, you getting excited and getting ready, your energy is much different than when you and I are going to do a show. Oh, yeah.

It's totally different. Well, it's just, like, it's cool to see because your process is totally different, but it's just you're a different you than when you and I are traveling and doing a show. Same kind of intensity that you're bringing to stand-up, just it's a different you than when you and I are traveling and doing a show same kind of intensity that you're bringing to stand up just a it's a difference vector of the of the brain it's certainly different than I never try to be funny I'm not trying to be funny at all no like but remember when Dennis Miller did Monday Night Football yeah dude he tried to do a bunch of one-liners people People are like, get that fucking guy out of here. Yeah, dude, it's bad. There's a time and a place for jokes.

I've had some funny moments where some shit happened, and I crack a joke about something, but it's rare. And it's always just, it can't be, like, there was one time, this guy dropped a bag of ice in the middle of the octagon on this guy's head, and the ice fell everywhere, and they panicked, and they just ran out of there. I'm yelling out, clean it up!

Get back in there! Clean the fucking ice! What are you doing? It's kind of like a famous clip, because it was so ridiculous, because these guys had tried to... The ice spill. The ice spill. That's a fucking clip.

So it was in the middle of this fight. In Sydney, Australia. Problem. Someone spilled ice in the octagon that's a big problem that's a lot of ice so it's Melvin Gillard takes look at all that ice our guys are working it this is a disaster oh no this guy look at that they knocked the bucket over this is the priest do just what are you freaks doing everybody's booing now there There's even more pressure Good

Put it on the side and watch Ariane fall on her head. You know what this is Joe Rogan doing play-by-play of ice Inside the octagon too much get the back get back in there You're not done Those guys bailed 100 pieces of ice still on the floor and this these guys just scrambled out because of the pressure. We need a Zamboni. Let's take a look at it. Watch it.

Here's the bag. They get it on top of Hany's Taurus's back. And watch the sucker open up. Oh, no. Oh, what a disaster. There's ice everywhere. Those corner men, someone needs to kick their ass. I can't fight.

And Hany's in there. So that was a rare time where I'm fucking around. Where you're joking around. But it's like just me and my boy Mike Goldberg watching this fucking disaster take place.

I have to make fun of it. Well, what else could you have done? I can't do anything. You can't go back. And it did, not to fucking tease those poor dudes, but that guy you could tell inside was like,

fuck, you're fucking it up. Yeah, you're fucking it up. Yeah, you're fucking it up. You could tell he was fumbling. You knew he kept fucking it up. So much pressure. So much pressure. Full T-Mobile arena or wherever the fuck it was. Full pack house at the MGM.

But most of the time when I'm doing them, I'm trying to just do my best to explain what's happening and to give life to it. trying to just do my best to explain what's happening and to give life to it you know it's yeah i mean i'm interested to see as your buddy how what's the next uh what's your next you know moving here was a big thing the club is a big thing you know what's your next thing nothing nah there's something do stand up do this fucking lie something's coming nothing what are you talking i think you i think you're a guy who forever will want to be building something or growing something or making something or changing something so i think i think whether you know it or not you're going to keep this was unexpected you weren't supposed to come to austin it wasn't like a thing you said 30 years ago we're like and then i gotta get la i'm going on this happened i think there are

things because of who you are shit's going to continue to happen and things will continue to change and you'll build and grow and open up something else and change something else i know it you're not a sit still guy fuck that you're not sitting still i'm just doing what i like to do i found what i like to do and i do those things by way of i do think other things will organically happen and change and you you know. Maybe. Yeah, I'm saying it. Fuck that. What about you?

Then move to New York? Move to New York is going to be big. You know, this is a, it's a weird beginning of the year. You know, I put the special out on Netflix. I have a movie that comes out in like a day that I have a couple of parts in. Another movie that's. What's the movie? It's called House Party.

They remade House Party. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah. I'm the white. Show the fucking, show the poster. I'm the white. another movie that's what's the movie it's called house party they remade house party oh my god yeah yeah i'm the white show the fucking show the poster i'm the white there are no i am the white they pay it's like was it fun i had a good time but i'm barely i'm barely in it but they put me on the poster because i'm the goofy white neighbor and you know you look like this it's like a sea of cool to see any of my filming look at me me, dude. Oh, look at you. Wow. Yeah, it's out on Friday.

So who put this together? Well, I mean. A kid in play. Look at that. Kid in play. Doesn't kid do stand-up still? That I don't know. I think he does.

I have no idea. He started doing stand-up. Remember? He did a few movies and then he was doing stand-up. Like back in the day or now? Like in the 90s? Yeah, I don't know if he's still doing it now. Find out if he's still doing stand-up.

He might be still doing stand-up. He might just be hitting the road. But LeBron's production company put it on. I mean, I got asked to do it, and they were like, will you play this fun neighbor that harasses these two young black kids? And I was like, you better believe it. So what do you want me to play, my dad? Yeah i just i just did that you got another movie coming out an indie movie that's a small little baby thing and then in the dave the third season of that show comes

out in march and then my netflix special so it's like the beginning of the year has a lot of happening and i'm like that's why i'm like i want to see what happens go to new york and have a little change and see what makes of it. I like it. Mix it up. You got to change it up, man. Mix it up. Change it up. Maybe I'll move here.

Maybe you move here. Maybe. Once the club opens up, I'm going to try to lure you. I was going to say, we'll see. When that club's open, it'll change everything. Also, I try to draw you in. Then I got some competition down here with Jamie now that he's fucking got his little track man out there.

Well, at least in the driving, but I don't think Jamie can compete with you in the rest of the golf game. I got a lot of work to go. I'll help you out a little bit. We'll put some puzzle pieces together. Just some simple bets. Yeah, just some tiny stuff.

A couple hundred grand. Yeah, we were talking about it before. You know Jordan bets like a hundred grand a hole. What? Charles Barkley just did an interview where he was saying how like him and, he doesn't do that. Like him and Jordan bet for a couple hundred bucks But Jordan, what was it?

He it's printed out somewhere in an article that he said the most he saw I think was a hundred G's Or 200 G's a hole or something like that. I don't even remember what it was Yeah, you don't wanna fucking play Jordan Even if you're good, even if you're good $180,000 a game, right? If you're doing 18 Well, it depends on if you're doing skins or like if you carry over. Some people don't do carry over, right? Like if you push a hole, some people push the hole. But I imagine he carries over.

So, yeah, I guess you'd, yeah. The problem with that is he's a billionaire. Too much. That's what Charles was saying. He's like, it doesn't matter to him. He doesn't think about it. What's 100 grand to Michael Jordan? That's exactly what Charles said.

Not on the radio, but... I think it Jeremy Roenick. That's telling this story Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah the hockey player. This is a crazy story. It's two minutes long. I think it's worth playing. Okay Back in back in the 90s when when the Bulls were on fire this was Like end of the season for us end of the season for them I get a call from Michael. Meet me at Sunset Ridge early. We're going to go play 18 holes. We didn't have a game.

We actually had a day off. So I meet him at Sunset Ridge. Big old Greg Kunkel, who's one of the best people in golf here in Chicago. I got to mention Greg at Sunset Ridge. So we played around, beat him for a couple thousand, and I'm getting ready to leave. Now, Bulls are playing that night. They play Cleveland that night. So I'm thinking he's leaving.

It's 10 o'clock. He's like, no, let's go play again. So we fill up a bag full of ice and Coors Light, and we walk again. We roll around another 18, and I take him for another couple. Couple. Yeah, and now we've been drinking all afternoon. Now he's going from Sunset Ridge to the stadium to play a game.

And I'm like messing around. I'm like, I'm going to call my bookie. All the money that you just lost to me, I'm putting on Cleveland tonight. He goes, I'll tell you what. He goes, I'll bet you that we win by 20 points and I have more than 40. I'm like, done. Son of a gun goes out, scores 52, and they win by 26 or something. After 18 holes of golf.

36 holes of golf. 36 holes of golf and having like maybe 10 Bud Lights. The man, Michael Jordan, to me, is probably the best athlete that i've ever seen that i've ever been around and watched play and you know the way he presented himself and played the game and i mean just amazing what year was that that would have been 92 92 so early super superhuman so crazy wow 10 beers so tired playing one round with like three beers and a shot. Ten beers, 36 holes, and then he scores 52 points. Superhuman.

Not the only time he did that too. Not the only time. He did it before the finals. He played John Stockton. There's stories of him trying to beat down opponents playing golf. There's rumors. There's tons of different rumor stories about he could fucking go out all night, drink, hang out, have fun, wake up at fucking 5, 6 in the morning, work out, go play a game and score just as many as he would if he wasn't fucking blacked out the night before. Didn't affect him.

Wow. Superhuman shit. That guy was a super. It's just he's one of those guys where I'm sure all of the lore is real. Where you're like, every story where someone's like, really? It's like, I bet, I bet you. Isn't it amazing that even amongst the most hyper competitive elite athletes, there's one that just stands out. Oh, dude, yeah.

Just stands out as the freak of all freaks. Yeah, dude. I love that there's things like that. Yeah. I love that there's people. I love the people that defy all the logic. Yeah. You know?

Like, I love, even though people hate Floyd Mayweather, I love Floyd Mayweather. Oh, he's so entertaining. I love the fact this guy is almost 50 years old, and he's still, like, taking pictures with all his watches. Yes. When I go on a trip for 10 days, I bring 10 watches. I love it. If I go on a trip for 10 days, I bring 10 watches. I love it. If I go on a trip for 20 days,

I bring 10 more watches. If it's a 30 day trip, I'll bring out the biggest of the big. And he pulls out like this fucking million dollar watch that's covered in diamonds. It's fucking insane. But he was on a thing. There was like an interview where they were like,

how much is that watch worth? And he's like, $500,000. And they were like, well, and he's like, I don't know if that was watch worth and he's like $500,000 and they were like well and he's like I don't know if that was but then he's like I made 5 million today and they're like really he's like today just now I think I made 5 million dollars he's such a like an entertainer it doesn't even matter

what's true or not it's fun look at all that but it's also what he can do as an athlete I mean the fact that the guy is still making millions and millions of dollars fighting people who have no business fighting him, including Logan Paul. Yeah. He fights a guy that's 200 pounds, a young, big, brutish athlete.

He's a big fella. Yeah. I mean, he's 200 plus. I would say 220. He's a big kid. I mean, I don't know 200 plus. I would say 220. He's a big kid. I mean, I don't know what he had to weigh in at. I don't know what the deal was. But Floyd never fought more than 154 in his life.

He's not a big guy. He never fought middleweight or light heavyweight. Certainly didn't fight a heavyweight. Yeah. And Logan was huge. Yeah, it's not a- When you see the two of them in the ring together, you're like, oh my God, this is crazy. What'd he say?

He weighed in at 190, basically. 189 and a half. Floyd weighed 155, and Logan weighed 190. I'll tell you, I stood next to that kid. Wow. I went and did his show. Why does it say 189, one and a half? I don't know.

189, it must be 189. Yeah, I think the way that they got the one, they just missed four minutes. Yeah, 189 and a half, which is he probably had to dry himself out to make that way. He's bigger than that. Yeah. When I stood next to him, he's a big kid. Yeah. Like he's big.

The fact that Floyd, obviously he's not nearly as skilled as Floyd Mayweather. Oh, but it's a different world. The fact that Floyd Mayweather said, fuck it, I'll fight that big dude. Did you ever see when Shaq fought Oscar De La Hoya? Look at the size difference. The size difference is fucking insane. But that's Floyd. I mean, and I don't know how much money he made from that,

but I think he still owes Logan Paul money. Wait, really? Yeah, there's some sort of a lawsuit. I don't know if it's a dispute. I don't know who's right. But there is some sort of a lawsuit where, you know, he claims that he still owes millions of dollars. I like the word dispute. Yeah, I don't know what's going on no you know with with promotions and stuff like that

is like is it based on pay-per-view points we promised a certain amount you didn't get it did they not sell as many pay-per-views as they thought they were i don't you know i don't know how that all works this i want to just tell you this because you said that reminded me my childhood best friend told me a story one time. He was on the train in Chicago. And this guy sees a guy. He recognizes from across the train. He's like, yo, what the fuck is up? And they're yelling across.

People go, what the fuck is up with you? And he's like, not the man. And they're chatting across the train. My buddy said he was standing in between them. And they're yelling over people. And the one guy goes, hey, man, how's whatever his name? How's Marco? And the other guy goes, he's dead.

And he goes, damn, what happened to him? And the other guy goes, it was a dispute. And he was like, oh, word? Okay. Like the most generic, like it was a dispute. And he understood it. He was like, uh-huh. That's a good way to handle that. Ask no more questions. It was a dispute. And he understood it. He was like, uh-huh. That's a good way to handle that.

Ask no more questions. It was a dispute. That's a funny way that you would only talk in a crowded room when you're yelling over people. He's not going to give any more information. He was like, it was a dispute. Yeah. He no longer is with us. It's interesting they didn't go towards each other.

No, dude. They're on a crowded ass train. They just were fucking yelling at each other. I just think like, that city culture that I do love, that I'm missing, that's why I want to go somewhere else. I like the fucking buzz and the,

I like being annoyed. I like, Schultz does too. I like being annoyed. Schultz told me that when he went to Miami, he was worried he was going to get soft. It's boring. They had too much fun down there.

Oh, it's just boring. It's almost like there is no, LA is that to me, too, now. It's like, yeah, there's not enough humming. I want more hum. I want more of a hum. I just want to feel the hum of people and bullshit and be pissed off. Are you going to hop around and go from club to club, do like five sets a night?

Well, I think, you know, look, the cellar's been really good to me, and so I definitely will go over there for sure. The stand, I've popped in a few times. You know, I don't, I'm not, I'm not filled in enough about where I need to be going. Right. So I'll figure it out, but the cellar's always been really good to me.

That's exciting. Yeah, man, I'm excited. I like it. I like the idea. Me too, babe. Ari needs a buddy too. Yeah, he does. He needs new friends.

He needs a sensible friend. He can't just talk to his fucking dog all day. He makes out with his dog. You ever see that? Yeah, I don't like that shit. It's gross. I've had conversations. I don't, this is.

He does it in front of you. He does it on the air. He did it during the podcast. Weird white people shit. Letting your dog lick your mouth. I don't like that. Fuck that. He encourages it.

I'll hug my dog. I love my dog. Doesn't lick my mouth. My dog gives me kisses, but they're on my face. Yeah, not in my mouth. He opens his mouth like a psycho and lets it lick the roof of his mouth. And he thinks it's funny. And I kind of want him to get really sick.

His dog's going to be eating shit in a park somewhere. I want him to get some bacteria from the park in his mouth. I read about a lady who had to get her arm amputated because her dog licked her and she got madly infected. I read about a lady who had to get her arm amputated because her dog licked her and she got madly infected Yeah, why are you don't but don't let it lick your an open orifice that I think last time I did the podcast Which is a while ago. We watched that woman who don't let the wolves lick her mouth. Do you remember that woman? Fucking crazy one. She would like open her mouth and wolves would like You know And wolves would, like, it was wild.

You know she likes those wolves, fucker. Hell yeah, dude. Hell yeah. Woman has her hands and legs amputated after dog licks her. The symptoms are so rapid in progression, there was nothing they could do, family says. Except tell her to stop letting dogs lick her fucking mouth. You could do that. This is a PSA. They didn't cut her head off.

I don't think it was her arms. Yeah, but how does it infect you? I don't know, man. Just saliva? It's got to get in. Yeah, it has does it infect you? I don't know. Just saliva? It's gotta get in. Yeah, it has to be some toxic shit in the dog's saliva. Just on her skin, that's all it was.

What if a dog goes out and... Dogs can eat all kinds of stuff. I know, but this sounds like one of those stories where she doesn't want to tell everyone the truth. That's a horrible story, man. They're like, Mary, where did she lick? She's like, just on my arm. It's like, just on your arm.

Really? How many women throughout history have put peanut butter on their pussy? I think an endless amount and we'll never know. We'll never know. They'll never admit it. It probably feels amazing. If you had a clit and a dog was licking it, it probably feels amazing. I love it.

You know? Probably feels really good. Because it's so muscular and big, the tongue is enormous. Slop, slop. Especially if you've got like a Rottweiler. Woo! They probably... Oh my God, the dog doesn't know anything's wrong, you know?

No victims. Someone at PETA right now is... There's no victim. Losing their mind. Dog likes peanut butter, you like getting your pussy licked. What the fuck's the problem? What are you going to do? What are you going to do about that?

Andrew Santino, I think we did more than three hours. We did, I think. Where are we at? Yes. 320. I love you, Joe Rogan. I love you too, buddy. And Cheeseburger, it's available right now on Netflix.

It's fucking hilarious. Your new shit is hilarious too. Thank you, man. The new shit you did last night. Very funny. Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it. available right now on Netflix. It's fucking hilarious. Your new shit is hilarious, too. Thank you, man. The new shit you did last night. Very funny. Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it. You're the fucking man.

I love you to death. I love you, man. All right. Bye, everybody. Bye.