The Joe Rogan Experience - #1937 - Punkie Johnson

Episode Date: February 7, 2023

Punkie Johnson is a standup comic, writer, actress, and current cast member of "Saturday Night Live." http://www.instagram.com/punkiejohnson

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! From the bartender at the comedy store... That's right. To Saturday Night Live. Yeah. What the fuck?

Yeah, yeah. I'm still processing that, if you want me to be honest with you. How many years was it? How many years I worked at the store? Yeah. I think 10. 10 years at the store. Yeah, I got that.

What year did you start? What year did you start comedy? If I'm not mistaken, it was 2011. Oh, cheers, my friend. Cheers. So good to see you. Thank you so much. Congratulations on your success.

Thank you. It's been amazing to see. This is you so much. Congratulations on your success. Thank you. It's been amazing to see. This is a dream come true just being here. This is the success right here. It's a dream come true for me to see you rise. I love it. I love it when I see people start off at the store and just get their feet under them and get their shit together and pull it off. Woo! It's so exciting. Yeah. It's so exciting. It's still unreal. I'm still, like, kind of mentally still in California because I remember I was out there, just this little chick from New Orleans.

I'm like, what the hell am I doing in California? What am I doing driving down Sunset and seeing these beautiful palm trees, the things that I would see on television? And then that time just went, it just left. Isn't it weird? The first time I came to California was 93. I was with my friend Gary Valentine, and we were out here to do some shit for MTV, and

we were driving around like, we really here? Yeah. I was 26, and I was like, what the fuck is this place? This place is so weird. It just felt like I'm not supposed to be here or something. That's exactly what it felt like for me. I just got it where I fit in over there. You know what I'm saying?

Got me a little job. I moved out there. I had me a little change because I had I didn't work for six months when I first went out there because I fell in a hole in New Orleans. A hole? Yeah. I was just minding my business, walking down the street. And I just, I just fell out of the world into a hole. It was wet cement

that was not blocked off. Oh, no. And I went down to like neck. Oh, no. So I was just like, trying to get out in my stupid ass. I didn't realize how dangerous it was for me to be in that hole. I was laughing the whole time. I was like, ah, stupid ass fell in the hole. And then I had to, I was, the Walgreens was right there, so I had to go. I bought, like, some pajamas or whatever they had, and I went home, and my parents were like, this is not funny. Like, you could have lost your life. And then I got this major lawsuit.

I had to go to physical therapy because my adrenaline was pumping, so I didn't know I was hurt. So the next day I was just like, oh, my adrenaline was pumping so I didn't know I was hurt um so the next day I was just like oh my back was stressed my arms were stressed because I was banging on the ground trying to get out trying to put myself to the cement to uh climb out how did you get out did someone help you I know nobody was outside I was screaming but I was laughing because I'm goofy and I'm like you dumb bitch how you falling to a hole but I didn't realize how serious it was till after and then my parents they brought me to a lawyer they're like hell no like no you could

have you could have died and then I just I forgot all about it I went to therapy for a year and then I got a check it took a year to get better from that well you know with the lawyers and shit you got to go to therapy while they lit a gate and figure shit out. And then. Did you have any, like, lasting problems from it? For a couple years, my neck, I had a strained back. I had a strained neck. But I was well, I was living in, for six months in Los Angeles with no job. I was compensated pretty well.

So that's what got you to L.A.? Falling in a hole? That's what got me financially... Able. Able. Now, me going to L.A., that's a different story. So did you start stand-up in New Orleans? Where'd you start? I started in...

So I was always a comedian in my head. Like, I would always, like, make up these little jokes. New Orleans wasn't big on comedy. They're still not too. They're growing. It's a growing comedic community out there right now. And I just, my family, they're comedians. They're just goofy.

I mean, we don't cry at funerals. We just super, I mean, just dumb. My mom cracked jokes when she was punishing me as a kid. She would say riddles while she was whipping my ass. I mean, it was nothing. Like, everything was just funny. It was nothing ever serious in my family. And, like, if we, you know, on the weekends, you know, you clean the house, you listen to music.

We listen to comedy in my house. And before I went to sleep every night, I watched Comic View on BET. So I was like, you know And before I went to sleep every night, I watched Comic View on BET. So I was like, you know what? I want to do that. And so I started in Los Angeles when I got out there. So the store was the first time you did stand-up? I think the first time I ever did a set was at the Ice House in the Rhino Room. The little room?

Yeah, the small room in the back. Yeah, that small room is the shit. Oh, yeah. If I need to go and practice something. the small room in the back yeah that small room is the shit oh yeah i'll if i need to go and practice something that small room is truth serum i love jokes suck in that small room they suck yeah i'll go take a nice sexy bomb in them little bitty rooms just just some shit i'm just got in my head and i need to get out oh yeah like the belly room rhino room i don't know if the laugh factory got a little room no no so i never really i just like the little baby rooms those little rooms are when you're with a tiny amount of people you get to see what's bullshit in your act yeah and it's close and it's intimate yeah and you look at people

dead in their eyes yeah like you so yeah i like the smaller rooms So that was your first set. So what year was this? I think this was like June 2011. It's probably on one of my, I keep my calendars. It's probably one of my old calendars. So I don't think I met you until I came back to the store, which was the 14th, 2014, I think. Yes. And that's when all the stories started happening about you. I was like, because I'm like, yo, that's the Fear Factory dude.

The Fear Factory dude. I'm like, what the, because I didn't know the history. So when, okay, so basically I'm like this chick from this, from, you know, New Orleans, it's the country. You know what I'm saying? New Orleans is a city, but I went to school in Thibodeau, Louisiana. And that's super, super country town. Right.

Now, I always had dreams of coming to Hollywood, but I didn't know how I was going to get there. So I was it was just word. It was just me verbally speaking it. So I didn't know what I was going to do. And then I moved back to New Orleans. I was in an eight year relationship with this girl. We broke up. I didn't know how to be hurt. That was my first time ever being hurt.

So I started following her everywhere. Oh no. And like stalking her and I remember I used to sit outside in this tree with snacks and weed. You sat in a tree? I'm telling you, I was tripping. I was young and I didn't know

what to do. I don't know. I was tripping. I was young, and I didn't know what to do. And that, I don't know, I was tripping. Anyway, cut all that shit short. I'm like, you know how you just got to look in the mirror sometimes and be like, yo, you tripping. Right. Like, chase your dreams. Like, don't be chasing no females.

Like, what are you doing? Right. So I just had, like, this epiphany about myself. Like, bro, like, get out of here. And within a week, I was out. I was out. I told my job I quit out I told my job I quit I told my moms I was leaving I packed up all my shit in this two door uh blue Honda thing and I drove across the country just like that wow and that's how I got into comedy because I had an interview

at the comedy store and when I got there it was like 75 people in the original room. And I looked around. I ain't never seen no shit like that before. An audition, you waiting in the office. It's one, two people maybe. This was a line full of people waiting to be seen. So I pulled back. I was like, all right, okay.

If I get this job, that means it's meant for me to do comedy because I ain't no way I'm going to get this job out of all these people. So I get interviewed. The dude, Mark, me to do comedy because I was like, ain't no way I'm going to get this job out of all these people. So I get interviewed. The dude, Mark, he loved the fact that I was from New Orleans. He was gay and he loved the fact that I was gay. So he was, I got hired and I had a lot of charisma, Joe. Come on now.

Come on now. Had you ever bartended before? Yeah, yeah. I bartended for, I think, two, I think, two years before. But that for, I think, two years before. But that's the comedy. See, a lot of people be sleeping on the comedy, so that's a whole different ballgame. Yeah.

The volume up in that place is crazy. You're doing three shows a night sometimes where you got to switch out. I mean, you got to work fast because you're serving, what, 400, 500, 600, 700. You could be serving 800 to 900 people a night and you got to get them all two three sometimes four drinks within two hours yeah you guys hustle back there you got and i mean we sweating we soaking wet i know i was always impressed i was always impressed

watching you guys hustle back there man that's i mean you know i mean you making money you're having a good time and you in this in this having a good time, and it's family-oriented. It's family-owned, so you're having a good time, but you've got to move. Well, that area, that back bar area, that's the vibe. Everybody comes back and checks in on everybody, hugs everybody, says hi. What I love about it is we got to sip a little bit, too, while we was working. We come in that bitch's thought with a shot. Oh, we always do shots together. We're like like all right

everybody come on now uh y'all know how it's gonna be i think i probably did a thousand shots with you before shows we always did shots we had to because it's like but i love working at places like that too that's not like corporate and they allow their staff to have a good time yeah yeah you know it's like do whatever you want As long as you get the job done. Get the job done, don't steal. Yeah. Point blank period.

Yeah, that's it. And we was like, cool, you ain't gotta say nothing. And the comedy store is a place of, the customer ain't always right. Like,

don't come in here with that bullshit. Yeah. We kicking you out. Yeah. On site. Yeah. Don't start with the comedians

on stage. We don't start with the comedians on stage we don't really care what happened between you and the server the server gonna win well we know the servers we know they're not assholes no

there's no assholes there you know there was a few over the years but they kind of weeded them out you know there's a few it's a place of like you know

if you're not with us you're against us and you gotta go and we'll we'll figure that out real fast yeah real fast i saw so many people try to flex and talk to the manager and think they're gonna get somebody fired and uh it's hilarious the the reaction is so different at the comedy store they're like yeah you gotta go like what yeah you gotta get out of that that person was rude to me me no they definitely weren't

look handle it if they was don't come up in here with that bullshit handle it they was rude to you alright go handle your business also we're pretty suspicious

yeah and we all grown ups in here yeah don't come with the tattletale and all that shit yeah I probably should have got written up so many

so many times at the comedy store I cursed so many people out at that bar no you're supposed to. Because, like, what are you, don't come in, you know, like, people would come in there just doing the weirdest stuff and have the weirdest energy. Well, they would come into the back bar, too, thinking they could order a drink. Like, hey, you're in the employees area.

Like, why are you back here? Like, drunks would wander through those doors and just make it into the back area. But that was another thing about the store, too, because it's like we expect for you to know what your lane is. But then, you know, you give somebody an inch, they take a mile and they think they run the joint and then we got a problem. But I do appreciate the people that come there and really want to be a part. That just shows you that it's a good place and people really want to be a part of this family.

Well, it is a family and it is an amazing place. That place has launched so many careers. I mean, the history of that building is just insane. Even before the Comedy Store, the history of the building, back when it was Ciro's Nightclub and Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis and Sammy Davis Jr., all these world-class talents would be on that stage. Yeah, some good spirits in that building.

Yeah, for sure. And a lot of murder, too. So Jeff Scott got to rest his wonderful soul. On Halloween he would do these little haunted comedy tour exposition things up in

a building and he would show us all the places where the bullet holes were. And, you know, and he would tell us like all of these crazy stories about, you know, like the abortion room and all of this stuff. I don't know if that was real. I don't think so either. I'm just like, that's bullshit. But it's still like something super interesting and super fun.

And I'm just sitting up there. I'm new. I'm just like, what? This is crazy. The drug house well it was 100 a mob owned nightclub that was that's the fact yes you got to think that some evil shit went down oh yeah in that building absolutely it was owned by bugsy siegel i did i don't think I knew that. Yeah, Bugsy Siegel owned the comedy store before Mitzi did. When did that switch over?

What year was that? Wasn't that like in the 40s? That's a good question. Like, what year was Ciro's nightclub, Jamie? Because I think Mitzi took it over in the 70s. Okay, okay. Mitzi and Sammy, they took it over in the 70s. And then, because, yeah, right?

What year was it owned by Bugsy Siegel? It closed in 57 and became a rock club for a little while. So it opened in 1940. This here has become a popular night spot for celebrities. And it closed in 57. It was reopened as a rock club in 65. And then what year did Desi Arnaz play there too? Wow.

Ciro's once the most glamorous club in Hollywood. I think the Comedy Store opened in the 70s, 72? Yeah, because it's been, because wasn't last year the 50th? We in right now. Yes, it must have been. Yeah. Oh, shit.

We're in 2023. That is crazy. It was called The Kaleidoscope in 68. And it was called It's Boss in 69. Oh, my God. Patch 2. Patch 2. And then The Comedy Store in 72.

And 72 to today. The Kaleidoscope. I never. Did you know that? No, I didn't know it was anything. Comedy store in 72. And 72 to today. The Kaleidoscope. I never, did you know that? No, I didn't know it was anything. I had remembered it was something other than Ciro's for a little while, but I don't remember what it was. But, you know, the big names were Ciro's in the store. That was the big names.

Now that I never knew. I thought it went straight from Ciro's. Tina Turner and Ike Turner played there with Jimi Hendrix as part of the band. Oh my God. I got to hit up Jen. with Jimi Hendrix as part of the band. Oh, my God. I got to hit up Jen. Oh, my God. I got to talk to Jen. I wonder if she knew this because this is serious. I got to talk to Lee, too.

Like, this is crazy. Who's Dick Dale? John F. Kennedy. John F. Kennedy was there? What? Wow. He dined at Ciro's in 65. I believe this is like old surf rock kind of stuff.

Wow. Man, the history of this is like old surf rock. Wow. The man of history at his place is crazy. Crazy. But it feels like it when you walk around. Joan Crawford, Frank Sinatra, Ava Gardner, Sidney Poitier. Jerry Lewis. Lucille Ball. Deanie Morton.

Ronald Reagan was there. Wow. Mickey Rooney. Wow. Crazy. All the people that frequented it. George Burns. Jimmy Stewart. Jack Benny. Crazy. I can't believe the president

was in there. Yeah. It was popping like that? It was popping like that. God damn! I think it was the spot. And Hollywood was the spot. And that was the spot in Hollywood. Yeah. You know? I mean, it's such a magic room. I mean, it's such a magic room. I mean, everything about that place,

it's just, it's so set up. It's, you know, all the weird little corridors and weird little places in it. I remember... Pull that thing up to your face. Oh, my bad, my bad. It's all right. I remember when COVID hit,

I was so afraid. I was just scared that maybe it'll get shut down because things wasn't looking right. It came close. I was just like, that was one thing I was just scared that maybe it'll get shut down because things wasn't looking right. It came close. I was just like, that was one thing I was saying. Please don't let this place shut down. Please don't let this place shut down. Well, fortunately, they made a lot

of money from 2014 to like 2019. Like when it went down. It went to 20. When it stopped. When everything stopped. They had some money put away. But, you know, how long can you stay open and pay the rent and not have any income coming in? Yeah.

When COVID hit, I had to leave because I didn't have any income coming in. I was like, I ain't no way in hell I could stay up in this in Los Angeles. So had you done any road work by then? Like what you had, you've been doing standup since 2011. Right, right, right. And you'd only been doing it in LA? Where had you been doing it? I would get small gigs. The Madhouse would show me some love. That's San Diego? San Diego. Punchline San Francisco would show me some love. That's a great room right there. Yeah.

I love it. I love it and uh I honestly did not know what I was doing I I just kind of I just kind of fell in I didn't fall into the comedy game because that's what I wanted to do and when I got the job at the store I'm like all right bet you supposed to do comedy I I was the type of person I'm like like, you know what, I'm going to just write it out. I'll probably, you know, of course I had dreams, but the way it's set up, like how hard it is and how much rejection is out there, I just was like, you know what, I'm probably just going to be a communist, don't comic forever, fuck it, whatever, right? So then I just, I get passed in 2016, surprised.

I was like, oh, okay, for sure. But I had a killer set. My set was super ridiculous. And from that, I got a manager. I did this show with my guy, Hamed Weinberg, with Sarah Silverman Company. So I got managers through that.

It was called Please Understand. And then my managers, Dave Becky and Ethan Stern, they're like, all right, kid, what you want? I said, what? They said, what you want? They say, I was like, I just thought, they're like, nah, we about to put your life together now. I'm like, I bet. I want to do this, this, this, this, and this. They said, cool.

Now it's time to goal it out. Let's roll. And I was like, all right. So that's when things became a little more serious, and that's when I started, like, really learning the game. But I didn't really know about the road until three years ago. But, of course, that was after SNL. And now I done went from doing 15 minutes at the comedy store to,

oh, no, now you got to do an hour. You're on TV. I'm like, oh, okay. You got an hour? Absolutely. No, I don't. How much time did you have? I don't know, 20 minutes, 30 minutes of just shit that I had accumulated

over the years. Right. But now it was time for me to start putting it all together. Right. And every single step of the way while I was doing that i was thinking about you because i remember we had a conversation at the store i would ask you for advice i know you gave a lot of people advice you probably don't remember you told me this but you was just like economy of words like what that means joe fuck all that get rid of all that fat get Get to the point. Find out how to explain your stories.

Simply, quickly. Get to the punchline. I'm like, all right. So as I'm putting this set together, I got paragraphs and paragraphs of shit trying to describe my joke. And I'm like, economy of words, bitch. And that's when my comedy started getting better. Because I'm like, all right. I'm going to say a sentence.

I'm going to say a joke. I'm going to say a sentence. I'm going to say a joke. I'm going to say a sentence, I'm going to say a joke. And if I've got to tell a story with it, I'm going to make sure I've got references inside of it and act outs so it could be full and it don't have air or space in it. So I'm still working on that, though, by the way, but I'm better. Well, we all are. You work on it forever.

Yeah, I agree. Especially because you're going to always come up with new material. So if you come up with new material, you're always working on it. Yeah. That's why I like doing, you're always working on it. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I like doing the small rooms to work on it. But my small rooms now are the clubs.

You know what I'm saying? Like there's no more. I mean, don't get it twisted. I'll go do some comedy in a coffee shop in a second. I'm humble. I'm not about to be. I ain't going to. That's not me you know but before all of this this my rooms

to go bomb in was the coffee shop or a library or the back of a basement I mean not the back but in a basement or something like that but I'm I'm leveling up now so but I still don't know what it feel like to like really truly perform in a big theater you know what I'm saying I guess like things just kind of turned around for me so fast that I was never put in a situation to go open for anybody so now I just I just got to figure out how to do it now you know just now I'm working up to the theaters without having a experience of doing it for anybody else. And you're doing it as a headliner. Right.

Look, this is from the mud, man. They got some days I'd be like, Punky, what are you doing? I got to question myself every day because I don't know, but I'm doing it. Just keep doing it. keep doing it one day you look back and you go how the fuck did I get here yeah oh yeah they got times I'll be like punky you know what you still got time to just you know that you know that give your job back at the store you know because it get it get hard and but I like, my mother didn't raise me to be no sucker. So it's like, you know, I just got to talk myself out of this.

I'm like, bitch, wake up. Come on. Stop all that stupid shit. You was made for this. You was born for this. Let's go. Yeah. That's called imposter syndrome.

Everybody has that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a big thing. You have that because the people that don't have that are usually delusional. They don't critique themselves. You know, sometimes have that are usually delusional. They don't critique themselves. You know, sometimes I wish I was delusional.

No. Sometimes. Because these delusional people, they out here fucking up everything with a smile. Like, yep, I did that. Like, no, this is bad for you. Delusional people are weird. Like, you'll see them go on stage at the comic store and just eat shit and come off with a big smile on their face. Like, you're not suicidal.

Man, I hate that. It's weird, suicidal man i i i hate that that's weird right yeah it's weird and some of them they're paid regulars like they get they keep going like i'm like what's happening here i have seen a lot of people get like way better like matt edgar been telling the stage like matt eggert like super goofy dumb funny to me man and um i don't really remember everybody that be up in there but i know uh velissa venice nuela i hope i said her last name right i always be having problems with that but man she's talking about melissa yeah senora yeah she's been murdering she's funny on the stage. She's funny. She's got great impressions. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's a super nice person, too. Melissa looked happy as hell. Always.

Melissa been glowing. I'm like, girl, I'm like, what's going on with you? She's like, I'm happy. I'm just happy, dude. She got all kind of like, I think, like JCPenney endorsements and stuff. Like, she really doing it. I'm happy for her. But I miss the store.

I do. Well, you know, it's a chapter in your life. It's always going to be a thing, you know? You're always going to miss it. Just the vibe of going into that, pushing through those swinging doors and all the hustle and bustle and everybody's laughing and talking shit. And all the waitresses are laughing. The comedians are laughing. Everyone's having fun.

Everyone's working. I miss the store. I miss Jeff. I miss Jeff, too. It's having fun. Everyone's working. I miss the store. I miss Jeff. I miss Jeff, too. It's not the same. I'm like, I go in the original room. I'm like, man, I don't even want to walk in this room no more. But you know what? Guess what? Time don't wait for people. Things happen.

You got to move on, but it's still different without Jeff. It's different. Yeah, Jeff Scott was the fucking man. He was, you know, he's such a big part of the store. He would just always crack jokes with them. He would come talk to you about sets and stuff that you were doing. He was almost like a counselor.

He was a part of the family, but he had a very specific role. As the guy who played the piano and brought all the comedians up in between the comedians for people don't know Jeff Scott would play piano and but he was it was more than that like with some comedians they would work with him so he'd play some music while they're on stage and he would give them like sound cues and fuck around with them and but he was just an easy guy to be around too Jeff and I we had this thing where i would sing uh like my little songs and stuff at the end of night and he would play with them right and and he would be filming a lot of them and when he passed away i called one of the managers at the store. I was like, I'm gonna need y'all to get all of them tapes. Get them fucking tapes. Because me and Jeff used to say some shit. Okay. Man, man.

Because you know, the comedy store is like, look, come in here, be yourself, do your thing. We don't give a fuck. You know, we want your authentic self. i was very very my authentic self so i'm like get them fucking they're like we got you bitch because i know you know but you know like now i have this you know snl is my first corporate job right you know well i got rules to follow and shit you know there's and you know you gotta, especially in this climate, you just got to watch what you do and watch what you say. And that's a big shift coming from somewhere where you didn't have to watch what you did and you didn't have to watch what you said. That's like the polar opposite of the common. One hundred percent.

You know, so you just got to be smart. I have to be smarter in a way that I deliver or decide to say something sometimes. Because I could say something, somebody could take that, blow that shit all out of context, and then boom, that's my job. You just never know. Yeah. But that's okay, too. Even if that happens. Even if it does, I mean, you're going to always be all right, but then that's going to piss me off.

Yeah. you're gonna always be alright but then that's gonna piss me off it's just like yo why everybody's starting all this drama over simply misunderstanding something that somebody said well it's purposely misunderstanding it like people are doing it on purpose it's people that just

you know what it's like it's like the world is filled with glass houses and there's just buckets of rocks everywhere yeah people just want to smash a window it's like it's so easy to bring someone down now especially someone that said they tweeted some shit in 2009 or said some shit. It's like it's a normal part of human culture. Like when you see someone, especially someone like yourself, that's on the rise and now all of a sudden you're doing great. People that aren't doing great, they want to chop you down. And you know what it's like. There's one thing about comedy that's fascinating is that when you start out, anybody can start out.

Anyone can get on that stage. Open mics, it's for anyone. Like literally anyone, including mentally ill people. And so you got a lot of mentally ill people that you're sharing space with and you're hanging out with them all the time. And then you start to do well and they get angry at you. Like people that have like severe narcissistic tendencies and severe jealousy and i've seen that with people it's it's interesting to watch it uh from the outside watching like doormen and uh bartenders and people that just start out and then one of them starts doing well and then they start getting

gigs and then they start opening for people and they see the fucking hate in the other people, man. It's fascinating to watch that. And so those are the ones that want to take you down. The ones that want to take you down are the ones that can't do it. Yeah, that's very interesting. Especially like working at the store

because the big comics will come in and they'll just pick people and you would see it because people that's been at the store because the big the big comics will come in and they'll just pick people and you would see it because people that's been at the store for a while they wouldn't get picked to go on the road or open up but like people come there and be new once a month oh no no no no no let me tell you let me tell you i'm losing my job for sure if I smoke that shit. Really? Look, I start, look, I got to, you know what I got to do with marijuana? I got to smoke that shit at the house. Nobody there. It's just me.

I can't get on the phone. Really? Yes. I have to be in my own thoughts. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Sometimes, sometimes I'll film myself while I'm high. Doing what? Well, I'll go crazy. I'm high. Doing what?

Well, I'll go crazy. Like weed makes me crazy. I'm paranoid. I'm always worried about my parents. I always start feeling also like I ain't shit with marijuana. But a lot of people that smoke, they're like, look, just keep smoking, keep smoking. That's just a wall you got to break through. But I can't let myself feel that way.

Maybe it's the weed that I'm smoking. I don't know. No, I know what you're talking about. I feel that way too. Yeah. It's like it's humbling. And that's what I like about it. Yeah, it makes me feel like I'm not good enough.

But it makes me get up and work. Yes, that's what I'm talking about. That's the good part about it. That's why I'm scared of things that me get up and work. Yes, that's what I'm talking about. That's the good part about it. Yeah. Like if you, if, that's why I'm scared of things that make you overconfident. Like things that make you overconfident I think are terrible for you. Yeah. Like you're, you're probably, it depends on the person clearly because some people have a real problem with confidence and they don't have any.

And for them, marijuana could be debilitating. But I think for some people that are doing well it's good it's a little reality check it's like you need to look at the big giant picture and sometimes you don't you just get so locked in with blinders on looking at your own you know day-to-day existence and the only things that you concentrate on that you think are important marijuana sort of dissolves any artificial barriers and just makes you look at things for what they really are. I do allow myself to feel that once a month, but I have to be alone. Well, that's probably good.

You know how to handle it. That's smart. It's a good way to handle it. That's right. I get me some marijuana, maybe because you go to the stores now and they be like, oh, this is that Lillilac Polly Wap. I'm just like, look, I don't give a shit. Just give me the shit. I'm going to smoke it.

This is your hybrid and your mixed with your hybrid, so that's your indica mixed with your stativa. I'm like, man, I don't give a shit. Just give me some weed, bro. I don't know nothing about weed like that. So once a month, I'll smoke it. I'll go through all my emotions. I cry. I reset.

Yeah. I recharge. Yeah. And it honestly looks like I'm in a crazy house. I had to film myself one time. It kind of looks like I'm wrapped up because I'm always, I start rocking and I'm doing all of this and I'm crying and I'm talking to myself. I'm like, you ain't shitting. I'm like, you ain't shit. And I'm like, bitch, please, please.

You got it. And then because my emotions are all over the place when I'm smoking. So I'd rather just not do that in public. That's a good call. I feel like those things you're describing, though, as an artist, it's a normal thing. It seems so crazy that, you know, you would battle with you ain't shit and you got this. And then it's like both sides of your brain are sort of duking it out. Yeah.

But I think as an artist, that's something that does happen. You have to have, as a performer in particular, you have to have a certain amount of confidence. You have to be able to go up there and know that you got it. But also, you have to have a certain amount of humility and you have to have a certain amount of perspective. And sometimes it's hard. And the better you get, the better you do in life, the more success you get. I think it's harder to have that perspective because, you know, it's easier to just believe your own bullshit. It's easier to, like, pretend you're different than everybody else.

It's easier to do that, like, that you're special. Yeah. But marijuana, like, lets you know, like, right away, bitch, you ain't special. No. No. It's these voices. You're full of fear and you're going to die. Oh, my. Yes. Yeah. But marijuana, like, lets you know, like, right away, bitch, you ain't special. No. No. It's these voices. You're full of fear and you're going to die. Oh, my.

Yes. Yeah. And you're vulnerable as fuck. Yeah. And so is everyone you love. Mm-hmm. You know, we're all in this together. Yeah.

And it just, it makes me, like, a more considerate person. It makes me a kinder person. Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah, yeah. You've always been considerate and kind. I ain't going to lie. You come to the store.

I remember they had some drama at the store one time. And you was like, you was like, absolutely not. No, no, you always been considering the kind. I ain't gonna lie. You come to the store. I remember they had some drama at the store one time, and you was like, absolutely not. I don't want to say what it was, but you had our back. Like the servers, you protected us, and you was like, fuck no, not on my watch. And we was like, yes, Joe. He loves us. Well, sometimes people, they abuse people that like work in the service industry. Yeah.

You know? It happens. A lot. Unfortunately. You know, I try to pay it forward. You know, you can always, like when I go to restaurants and stuff, you can always tell that I served and I bartended for a while because I stack everything up. Nice.

They're like, will you chill? I'm like, it's habit. I just clean the fucking table for the people. They just come pick the shit up. And then I try my hardest to tip at least 50%. And I also get that from you. I'm like, you know, Joe come in. Man, you show mad love.

You was the reason why we made money a lot of nights. And so I just try to pay that back. It feels good. I tell people it's like you're leaving love bombs, leaving a love bomb. Even if you're not even there to watch it go off, I like to get out of the room before they even see the tip. Just enjoy that.

I mean, I can't do it all the time, but sometimes I'm with my girl, and I'm like, I mean, especially if the people were incredible, I look at my girl, I'm like, we blessing these people tonight? She'd be like, bless them, baby. That's even better. Even better if you say it that way yeah so and it feels you know because yeah because that like you said I don't need to stay and see their reaction yeah I think that's missing in cultures where they don't tip like I think the problem with with tipping is that

you could still pay someone like two bucks an hour, which is kind of crazy. Yeah. Which is crazy. Like two bucks an hour is so crazy. Especially like if you don't have a job in New York, because I think you can do that in New York. I think there's a lot of places you could do that. Well, what I mean is if you do it in New York, I don't think it matters because people in

New York, they just have this sense. They just know to tip. Right, right, right. They just know to tip. Right, right, right. They just know to show love. It's an East Coast thing. Yeah. But, you know, a lot of people in the East Coast are tippers. I like that about these.

I love the East Coast. I don't think I'm going back to the West Coast. I think the problem with the West Coast is too many people are trying to be famous. And when you get too many people trying to be famous, you have like a high percentage of narcissists and a high percentage of sociopaths. And I mean, I don't know. I don't mean it's like all of them, but it's like, what's the average, the percentage of sociopaths? I think they say it's like 10% or something like that, or 4%. That's it? I don't know how they really know. You know, they do it based on a sample size. I don't know. I don't know if they really know the actual numbers. But that's the estimate, right?

And if you go to a place like Hollywood, you've got to imagine that most of the people that go there, the people that move there, they move there to either be a part of the business, like to be a producer or a director or something, or they want to be in front of the camera. Or they want to be famous. They don't even know how, and they'll try to figure out a thing. Like you've seen people go, they go from acting and then they're acting for a while. And then they say, you know, I'm going to do standup. And we've seen a lot of those, right? And then they just, they don't really love standup. What they really love is getting attention. They got broken when they were younger. They have a hole inside of them that they need to constantly fill up with other people's attention.

And they'll pretend to be someone to get attention. Yeah. Which is the fucked up thing about auditioning. Because you take a person who's like super insecure, wants to come to Hollywood for validation, and then you have this process where you have to beg people to like you. You have to go in there and put on your best show

and hope these people like you, which completely changes the way people behave. Because those people that are so desperate for success or really want to make it, they start behaving and thinking in a way that they think is going to get them successful in their business. And they can't express unique or individual opinions on things. They can't have controversial views. You're not allowed to, you won't get a gig. And so you have all these people that just, they become like this sort of Hollywood ideology espousers. They just become these people that talk the same way. Like you see them, they say, like when they see you, they don't say nice to meet you, punky. They say, good to see you. Like you see them, they say, like when they see you, they don't say, nice to meet you, Punky. They say, good to see you. Good to see you

because maybe they've seen you already. Maybe they forgot, right? So instead of like just saying, nice to meet you. Oh, we met. Oh, I'm sorry. When did we meet? Instead of having a real moment, it's good to see you. Everything's good to see you. It's fucking weird. Because they're like little robots. Like who the

fuck says good to see you? It's like you brought a friend over and the friend says, hi, this is my friend Punky. Hi Who the fuck says good to see you? If you brought a friend over and the friend says, hi, this is my friend Punky. Hi, Punky. Good to see you. Good to see you. What kind of weird people are you bringing over here? Yeah. What the fuck is going on? Good to see me. Yeah, it's good to see. It's good to hear you too. It's so crazy.

I never thought about that. Yeah. So that flavors the vibe of the city because it's the number one industry, or at least the most famous industry in Los Angeles is the television and film industry. And then, of course, the music business, which is kind of similar. I mean, when the record days and the record days and the radio days, when it was really important, you had to impress these people that were the record executives. important you had to impress these people that were the record executives and you had to impress these people who are the radio executives because they would play your

music right and they would pick you and there were so many people that could pick and they would pick you and they had these predatory relationships where they take it an enormous amount of the money that you made and that was the only way you're gonna make it how else you gonna make it you got to go through the system yeah and a lot of people who made it through, like Prince, had to change his fucking name because he couldn't perform under the name Prince. He had to use that crazy logo. That's crazy.

It's crazy that he pulled it off, though. He's like, I got an idea, bitch. I'm so famous. Everybody knows who the fuck this is. Also, it's like, I'm me. And he did it before social media. Yeah. You know?

Like, Kanye could change his name every week and people keep up. Kanye can do whatever he want. He can change his name every week. Kanye done did some shit. Kanye still popping. They got some people that's just. They took a big chunk out of his income. Like, what is happening?

Kanye done said some shit and done some shit. I mean, some shit that done pissed me off. Yeah. But he's not going to go away. He's too talented. You know, he's just not. He's also, I don't think he's a bad person. I think Kanye, the mistakes that he's made, I think he'll be pretty honest about it.

He's mentally ill. And that mental illness allows him to have insane productivity with music. I mean, you can call it illness. Or you could instead say he's got this gift, and this gift sometimes fucking shoots off live rounds in all sorts of different directions. But what it can do is produce some of the best fucking music ever. Fucking amazing jams where you listen to them,

and you forget sometimes. Someone will play one, you go, Oh, shit, I forgot about this one. Kanye had some bangers. Like that mind that creates those bangers also says crazy shit about Hitler. Hey, what are you doing? Why would you say that? And I think also if you – when he gets embattled, the problem is he wants to fight back.

Like I think part of the reason why he became a big Trump fan is because Obama called him a jackass. I really believe that. Yes, I really believe that. Because you got to imagine having the president of the United States refer to you as a jackass and the first black president United States, one of like in my life, other than Kennedy, who's a better spokesman? who's a better statesman than Obama who's like the most impressive of all presidents where you would look to a guy and say that the way that guy thinks and talks that's a leader that's a real president United States and that guy called him a jackass so I think that shit stuck in his head I hate petty I was like

fuck yeah he's petty I mean he. Fuck yeah, he's petty. I mean, you can tell he's petty. You see the shit that he writes about Pete Davidson? He's ruthless. He's petty. But that's also the same mind. That's the same mind that makes him be insanely prolific. That's the same mind that has this genius association to sound and music.

It's the same mind. I'm just glad he done simmered down. Yeah. Well, he doesn't have a place to- Well, I don't want to speak too soon. I'm just glad he done simmered down. Yeah. Well, he doesn't have a place to- Well, I don't want to speak too soon. He doesn't have a place to blow it off anymore, which I also think is not good. I think it's probably better to just let him say ridiculous shit on Twitter and let people refute it.

I don't think it's a good move to eliminate a guy like that from being able to communicate. I don't think it's a good move to eliminate a guy like that from being able to communicate. I don't think that's the problem. And I don't think he should be medicated either, which is even crazier. Because, like, when he was medicated, remember, he was all slow and he got chubby. You remember? I didn't know that he was on medication at that time. They put him on some heavy shit. Well, you know what?

I can assume that people like him have to be, you know, medicated. I just feel like billionaires sometimes they have nothing else to do but get medicated? yeah it's like because it's like you've done everything you've seen everything you've won all the awards

you've married what the world considers the baddest bitch you have it's like what else is there for you to fucking do yeah but that doesn't mean you have to get medicated. You know what I'm saying? But that's what I'm saying. He probably got medicated because he had nothing else to do.

So he started doing shit that he probably wasn't supposed to do. They're like, all right, let's calm down here. Pop this. Well, I think, you know, people around him were concerned because he gets manic. But that's, that manic, crazy energy is also what comes out in his music. I mean, talking to him is wild because when you're having a conversation with him, like when I did a podcast with him, it's like you can see in some people where their mind is like a runaway train. It's like a runaway train. And ideas are coming in way faster than they're coming into my mind.

They're coming in and going and he'll go from one idea the next idea and people say yeah, he's rambling But I'm like, but but is he or is he just sort of like he's being infused with way more ideas than we are Like they're coming like Elon's the same way when you're talking to Elon when I was talking to him I was like what is going on behind those eyes like How many different thought processes do you have running simultaneously? That guy never wants to stop. He's always got new ideas and thinking. He's always innovating, creating. It's a different kind of way of thinking.

And I don't think you get it, and I don't think I get it. I damn sure don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I just rather Kanye keep all his shit in his music. He got to stop saying some wild ass but he says sometimes this is wild shit that's really interesting like on my podcast he goes how much is the earth like if i wanted to buy the earth how much does the earth cost that's all land costs money yeah he's like if land costs money could could someone have enough money they could buy the whole earth i was like oh shit yeah like

that sounds ridiculous but if someone like je Jeff Bezos has like $200 billion, like that's so much fucking money. Like what's to stop someone from having 200 trillion? And how much is the earth? How much is the whole earth? What is it? And what if it's, what if the whole earth is only a hundred trillion? You can own it all. But also.

Everybody has to pay your rent. Also, if the earth for sale, who's selling that motherfucker buying it who's buying it who's selling it who's someone would have to make every single person an impossible offer they'd have to make every single person an offer that you could not refuse that's so much money that every single person on the planet has to say yes i would think that that'll be a good investment owning the earth. Yeah. I think the only way someone's going to own the earth is stealing it.

They're just going to eminent domain force people out of areas. That's how people own the earth. I don't think they're ever going to own the earth by buying it. But Kanye having that idea

like how much does the earth cost? I'm like how the fuck have I never thought of that? So that's one I hope he keep his wild ass ideas and thoughts there. It's talking about human beings. Sometimes dudes like that need somebody to bounce shit off of too.

They need like a more reasonable crazy person that's with them that can go, slow down, brother. I hear you, but slow down. With Elon Musk, I know people have their thoughts about him, but I had a very great personal conversation with him. And I think people forget that these people that have all this money and these people that are so smart, these people that are on TV, they're human beings and they have real lives. And me and Elon talked about his family and his children. And that's when I was like, OK, this is a real person.

This guy has a heart. And I think he's actually a good a good guy. If you sit down and you have an actual conversation with him, just like off the record. I love him. I love talking to him. He's a wonderful person. He's just super genius. Just a ridiculously smart person.

But he's a human being like we all are. We're all human beings. And you can forget that when you see some dude who's making rockets and making electric cars and satellites and fucking trying to fix traffic. You forget that's just a human being. I also thought he was going to leave everybody at SNL or Tesla. Because the hosts, they leave us gifts, slippers, shoes, hoodies. Oh, that's hilarious. Sometimes we'll come to work after that Saturday.

We have a whole bunch of catered food. Oh, this food from Jack Harlow, this food from such and such. So I was like, you know what? What if Elon leave us all Teslas? I was wrong. That's so many Teslas. How many Teslas would that be for how many people? I think it would have been at the time when he came.

I think it would have been 22 Teslas. Jesus Christ. They probably have a back order on those things anyway. Cars are, I don't know if they've sorted that out yet with new cars, but with new cars, there was a backlog on new cars because of chips. There's like a problem getting the chips, the computer chips, which are in every fucking car now.

Ah, is the computer chips the, like the, so you can know where the car is? No. So the computer works with the emission system and everything is computerized now. Oh, okay. And then also there's an operating system and everything is computerized now. Oh, OK. And then also there's an operating system that runs like Apple CarPlay, Android CarPlay. I don't know nothing. I don't know shit about cars. Yeah. Well, I'm a car nut. Oh, cool.

But the new ones are confusing to me. I get that all that stuff is important, but it's confusing that we don't even make a lot of that shit over here. Like, you know, a lot of the the chips they're making them overseas oh yeah so i think they're having i think uh elon's working on making chips here and samsung is working on making chips here but i think a lot of that was exposed during the pandemic that a lot of chips are being made overseas and they need them for cars so there's a big delay for a lot of different manufacturers. So probably a lot of them are looking at trying to figure out a way. But I had Sagar and Crystal from Breaking Points on the other day. And Sagar was explaining it in depth.

And he was saying that that shit takes like 10 years. Like when you want to start a factory and start building computer chips in America, that's like 10 years from now you can. God damn. That shit takes forever. Yeah. That's why I stay. Technology you can. God damn. That shit takes forever. Yeah. That's why I stay. Technology confuses me. Politics confuses me.

Those are two things I like to just. They're good. Like when I go buy a car, it's so simple and fast with me. I go in the lot, I be like, I want that one. They say, okay. I be in and I be out. They give me a price. If I like it, I like it.

If I don't, I don't. I'm like, nah, well, we can't go down no more. I bet. I'm going to go down the road then. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Well, what's up? I say, this is what I want. This is how much I want to pay for it.

And I don't want to get in that room and then you offer me all kind of other shit. I want the tires included. I want the oil included. I want the fucking windshield included. And when I get in that office, I want it to still be that price. Do you remember that? Did you see the movie Fargo? You ever seen that movie?

Is that Ben Affleck? No. Fargo is Steve Buscemi. And it's a Coen Brothers movie. Francis McDormand. I don't know why I'm seeing Ben Affleck in a suit. I don't know. But there's a hilarious scene where, what is the gentleman's name? The redheaded guy? William H. Macy. Norman. I don't know why I'm seeing Ben the F like in a suit. I don't know.

Hilarious scene where, what is the gentleman's name? The redheaded guy. William H. Macy. Who's hilarious in this movie. He's trying to sell the undercarriage treatment. Like he's trying to sell it to these people, like,

like as an upgrade to the car. And they're like, we don't want that. And then he's like, so I already added it on. And then, and then there's like this big, like,

why the fuck did you add it on yeah like I'm not paying for that look there's this big it's really funny man because it's so many of those salesmen that do that you're like dude please stop no stop with this up selling if my thing I like warranties I'll take warranty because I like the lease cause cuz every three years I want another one I'll lease it I ain't gotta own it fuck it smart I don't give a shit I want to lease cars because every three years I want another one. I'll lease it. I ain't got to own it. Fuck it. That's smart.

I don't give a shit. I want a new one. What are you driving? I'm in a Jeep Wrangler right now. Oh, those are great. Yeah. Oh, I love that motherfucker. Oh. Look how many Jeeps

there are on the road. I mean, think about how many, how long Jeep's been around for. They nailed that shape so good they don't even change it. Man, the tires are this big. I'm riding up high. I'm going over,

I'm going over the going over the neutral ground. That's a real four-wheel drive vehicle you can drive anywhere. Like, you could go somewhere in a Jeep. You could go off-road. Whoop-a-doop-a-doop.

You're in the woods. On-road. Yeah. Sand. They nailed that shape. I mean, when they first started making Jeeps,

like, what year was that? It looks the same as the 80s. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It looks fucking great, though. It's a great shape. Oh, yeah. I love it. jeeps like what year was that it looks the same as the 80s you know yeah oh yeah that looks fucking great though it's a great shape oh yeah i love it i got a wheelie they're so reliable too i mean those they're so because it's a durable off-road vehicle like there's a lot of shit you don't have to worry about if you get a jeep you have to worry about with cars like you run over something you can run over stupid shit that's in the road or bounce over like a little divot in the ground.

It's not as big a deal. That's why I'm like, I want all the wordies included in the note. If I lived in the East Coast, for sure I'd have a Jeep. Oh, 100%. Because it's the snow and the potholes. The potholes are a big one. You need some sort of like a rugged four-wheel drive vehicle if you want to get through a winter there.

I don't slow down on the potholes either. That Jeep be manhandling the potholes. It absorbs them. Pap, pap. You know what I like, too? That new Bronco. Ford figured out a new Bronco. You know, I'm a Bronco fan, but I'm not a fan of the body of the new ones.

How dare you? Can you pull it up? Let me look at it. Do you remember my 72 Bronco? Now, that's the type. That's the Bronco. Yeah. That one I used to bring to the store all the time. Too many choices for this new one.

Too many choices. That's an old one, brother. The one you have your cursor over. I just typed in Ford Bronco. Oh, I know. I drove one and it sucked, but it wasn't the good one. I know there's better versions of it. It sucked? Really? It was a baseline rental car version. No, not good? No, not at all. Well, go back to that link that you were just looking at and click on that one that says the Raptor.

There's a Bronco Raptor right below that. The black one. Sorry, all black. To the left of that. You were almost there. To the left of that. Yeah, that one. That's a Bronco Raptor.

Okay, all right. So that's a regular Bronco with a beefier setup and a heavy-duty engine. I think that has, like, what does that have for horsepower? Something crazy. But Jeep has one like that, too. Jeep has, like, a Now, see, I like that. I ain't gonna lie. I do like

that one. What does it have for horsepower? Does it say? I'm sure it will. I don't want to over-exaggerate, but I think it's in the neighborhood 500 horsepower. Zero to 60 in 5.2 seconds. Damn. 500 to 600. Oh, interesting.

That's a lot. That's plenty. Hold on. 418. Oh, it only has 418? So what is it about 500 or 600? It doesn't put up with SUVs that have horsepower in the 500. Oh, it doesn't put it up with SUVs.

Oh, okay. Well, there's a bunch of people that do shit to those things, too. But that's real similar to the V8, the big V8 that's in the Wrangler, too. Mm-hmm. But the point is like those cars, that's a similar sort of thing. The only thing is you drive anywhere with that thing. The Jeep, you can't recklessly drive the Jeep.

It'll flip on your ass. You can't just be sitting up there spinning the curb and busting the whip. Nah. It's not good for handling. No, no, no. Yeah, drive normal, you freak. Yeah, drive normal in your Jeep

because it reminds me of the Xterra. Just like... like yeah they're top-hitting yeah imagine a sprinter van trying to do laps in a sprinter van with those ridiculous things oh my god yeah well well you'll kill yourself yeah those aren't good but you can't i ain't saying who has a podcast set up in a sprinter van doesn't someone have one steve-o yeah really steve-o has like a sprinter van that's set up as a podcast studio and that's dope travels around with it and just films his podcast in the back of it okay i might have to check that out yeah it's a great idea yeah i had a friend uh ron taylor well

he's still my friend i didn't had he's my friend um he used to do, cooking tutorials in his van. He would have, like, a little, what do you call it? A little kitchenette? Yeah, like a little hot pot or whatever you call that shit. Hot plate? Yeah, like a little hot plate situation that you use for a dorm room. And he'll invite guests, and we'll cook, and we'll talk. In a van.

And you cook in the back of the van together and you talk about what you're cooking then we both go sit in the driver's seat in the passenger seat and we finish the podcast nice it was it i'm like ron this needs to be a television show that's a good idea i'm still trying to figure out why it ain't on tv right now i'm like ron what are you doing well there's something cool about like making getting by with like a limited resource. Yeah. A little hot pot. Yeah. Everyone working together. But he cooking gourmet meals.

Really? This motherfucker up in there making lobster. Really? Oh, pasta. I remember he made a big thing of meat sauce, spaghetti, broccoli. He not making noodles and cheese. Mm. This motherfucker cooking.

Mm. I'm like, let's go. Well, and then Burt has that show Something's Burning, which is a hilarious show. I think I saw an episode of Burt. You gotta be on that. How about you and me together? Because I'm supposed to do it. Hit Burt up. You and me together on Something's Burning.

So, I'm guessing Burt be fucking everything up, huh? No, he's good. He loves food. He knows how to cook a little bit. Yeah, I just saw Burt be fucking everything up, huh? No, he's good. He loves food. He knows how to cook a little bit. Yeah, I just saw Burt, man. That man, he is out there killing it. Yeah, I love Burt.

Shirt off. I love that he's blowing up and he's 100% himself. That's who authentically Burt Kreischer is. I love it. He gets his wife on the line for the shows. And that's good. I think his wife going to be on the shows. And that's good. So yeah, that's where my boy go. I think his wife going to be on the phone.

Look at that. Look at that. He's selling out arenas. He's killing it. Killing his beer. I think my homeboy, Stephen Fury, was opening up for him for a while. Probably still doing it. I called Bird up once.

He answered the phone. He was on a motorcycle in Vietnam. I go, what are you doing? And he answered the phone. He was on a motorcycle in Vietnam. I go, what are you doing? And he goes, I'm over here riding a motorcycle in Vietnam, filming my channel show. And I go, dude, you need to quit that fucking show. You need to quit that show and be a comic. He goes, really?

I go, yeah. I go, you're too funny. You're too funny, man, to be on a travel channel show. I mean, it's a great gig, but I think you got everything out of it that you're ever going to get out of it. And I think it's holding you back now. You take months and months off of stand-up, or you have to tour, to travel and do this show.

It's a good show, and it's a good gig, but you can do a lot better. Like, you can do way better with stand-up and podcasts. And he listened. So this was back in the day. Yeah, it was back in the day when he was on Burt the Conqueror, and there was another show where Hurt Burt was terrible. They were hurting him in every episode.

Every episode, people would choke him unconscious, hit him with a bat. It was so ridiculous. It was different stunts and things that he would do. He did that for a little while. That's a dangerous path, the jackass path. Those guys are all beat up. Physically, you get fucking hurt bad doing that. You get hurt bad.

Animal show's dangerous. Fuck that. I had Steve-O on and he showed a video once of him on a tree and lions climbed up the tree and were fucking with him and they took his hat, they knocked his hat off and I was like, oh my god, those are real lions, dude. This is in Africa.

Real lions. Not tame lions at some fucking circus. I ain't never going up. Never. Ever. Ever. I don't really like the zoo, like, talking about it. I don't like the zoo.

I don't like the zoo. Them animals are wild. They need to be free. Exactly. And everybody can all surprise when things happen. They're fucking animals. It's very confusing, right? Because you because you're like well where do we put them and that's a good point and how do you make sure that they stay keep off the endangered

species list that's a good point too but that is hell especially for the primates i was in denver once i'll never forget this i was walking with my family because my you know when my kids were real little, I loved to take them to the zoo because they're so fascinating. I mean, it's horrible that you're supporting this thing, but selfishly, I was like, look, it exists. It exists already. There's nothing I can do about it. And I'm not going to stop them from, if I boycott, if I stand up and say, I'm not going to pay, it's still going to be there. And I want my kids to see these animals. It's a weird experience.

And this primate, I don't know what kind of monkey it was, but it was in its cage and it was screaming like a crazy person in prison. Like, no! That's what it felt like. And I was like, I told my wife, I was like, this is depressing. Very. I'm like, I got to get away from this. I'm like, this is really bumming me out. We got to free these animals.

I honestly want, like, the way I envision my life, right? Like, I want, if it was up to me, I would have a ranch in a town, a country town, where the next grocery store is 20, 30 minutes out. Like, I just want to live away. This is your spot then, Punky. Right? That's what I'm saying. You need to come to Texas. I just want to live away, Joe.

That's how people live out here. I want a ranch-style home. Let's go, Punky. I want about an acre of land, not too much. I'm going to teach you how to bow hunt. Oh, I need to go hunting with you. Let's go. I wrote a sketch about hunting with Joe Rogan, okay?

Something happened that I had to shelf it that week, but it was a Thanksgiving sketch about hunting with Joe Rogan. And it was you just killing all of these exotic animals. And we would just see these people in the woods who were kind of just touring, not killing. Oh, Jesus Christ. And you was just the wild people in the woods who were kind of just like touring, not killing. Oh, Jesus Christ. You was just a wild man. Like, it was crazy. I wanted to get you down to, like, guest. But whatever, whatever.

I'll bring that sketch back. And we had to shelf it that week. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Sketches are fun, but it'd be more fun to actually take you hunting for real. I got to do it. Have you ever shot a gun before? Oh, my parents are NOP. Well, they retired.

Yeah? Yes, yes. do it now shot a gun before oh my parents are nop well they retired yeah yes yes my mother worked for the uh the uh the levy district police and my father was actual nopd for a long time he retired and now he does uh now he runs the security for the hospital because my mama made him go back to work but um we yeah i was raised around guns i remember i bought my first gun and i was so excited i called my dad i was like i bought my first gun he was like yeah what you got in la no no no this was in new orleans yeah i was like uh i said bought my first gun he was like for real he's like what you got so i got a nine he was like, fucking bitch ass gun. Wow. He was like, I got a nine.

What did he want you to get, a 45? 40, 45, something. Something just, I was thinking lighter. He was like, nah. He's like, the heavier it is, the better it is. He's like, 45, you know, 40. But you know, it's like, he always made sure we were responsible. Like, don't be out here stupid with this gun.

Keep it locked up. Keep it safe. Go to the range. Understand your weapon. Yeah. Don't be out here wilding out. Don't use it to stunt. Don't use it, you know, for no validation in the hood.

We don't have guns for all of that in my family. It's for the house. I saw the most fucked up video. What? There's so many fucked up videos of people getting shot on Instagram now. But I saw this one where these people were playing in a car. And this girl pulls out her gun and accidentally shoots her friend in the head. I hate that.

And he just like slumps over and dies like right on the street. She was just pulling out her gun to show it. And they were all casual and laughing. And bang. The gun goes off. It's careless. She don't know what she's doing. It's just careless. It's like, and you go into jail. Even though it was an accident, you go into jail. Yeah off. It's careless. She don't know what she's doing. It's just careless. It's like, and you go into jail.

Even though it was an accident, you go into jail. Yeah. And he's dead. And a man's dead. Yeah. It wasn't intentional, but you killed somebody. It was horrible. Yeah.

It's like, my thing is, if you're going to have a weapon, be responsible with it. Learn how to use it. Learn how to take it apart. Clean it. Put your bullets in there. Just learn about your weapon. I was just thinking how ridiculous it was that Clint Eastwood had a movie where the star of the movie was that he had the biggest gun.

He had a.44 Magnum. Remember? Did you ever watch Dirty Harry? No. That was the whole premise of the movie. Everybody else had a.38. He's got a.44. You might think, did I shoot all those bullets or did I not?

Do you feel lucky, punk? I might have to write that one down. I got to watch that one. It's a corny-ass movie. And it's a movie that, if you watch it now, it's so dated. So go to the scene where Clint Eastwood says, do you feel lucky, from Dirty Harry, where the guy is like a cartoonish bad guy,

like the most evil cartoonish bad guy, and Clint Eastwood gives him this, do you feel lucky? Well, do you, punk? And then he fucking, of course he shoots him. This is a classic scene. I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five?

Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kind of lost track myself. But Ian, this is a.44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off. You've got to ask yourself one question. Do I feel lucky? Well, do you, punk? Hey. I gots to know. hey I got you to know what the fuck he wanted to know whether or not he had the bullets

uh oh see I I remember this entirely wrong. That's hilarious. I thought it was a Mexican dude. I remember this entirely wrong. In my mind, it was a Mexican dude and he shot him. I'm just laughing at I gots to know.

So crazy. So crazy. That dude probably spoke like Sidney Poitier and they gave him that role. I gots to know. That was hilarious. I wouldn't have wanted to know shit. Do ya punk?

Those movies back then were so corny. Oh, that's the other one. That's the other one. This is the one. He's got multiple ones. Do you feel lucky punk part two go back to the beginning because I gotta hear him say it oh yeah he said it no no no oh okay oh he's holding the guy She sits the same line. Yes. What the fuck is this? You could ask yourself question do I feel lucky Well do you punk oh it feels lucky That was the one I kind of remember.

Does it happen? I remember that wrong. It's so funny. I haven't seen that movie in probably 20 years. More than 20 years. That was in the same movie? No fucking way. He said it twice?

Both. Unless they made Dirty... both both I'm unless they made dirty I don't this is I don't know if they made dirty Harry more than once why wouldn't they they need to do it now when he's the thousand years old do you punk meanwhile that dude also did the unforgiven which is like the greatest Western of all time like he did a lot of corny ass movies but he also did some fucking amazing movies, man. I got to take some time and watch some old movies.

I just have to. See, I just have this crazy obsession with two things that I watch over and over again. What's that? Freaking Grey's Anatomy and Walking Dead. Like, that's it. I'll watch all of that, and then I'll go back to Walking Dead, and then I have got to stop.

It's a problem. I can't watch The Walking Dead more than once because I know what happens. I get I start falling in love with characters. Oh no. So that's my problem and I just be missing them and gotta see them. I know, I know,

I know. Do you know what I started? The Last of Us, the new HBO one? I'm going to go ahead and say he says this in all of these movies. Oh, my God. So there's five of them? At least. Oh, my God. This one just seems a little later.

The Deadpool. From 71 to 88, he made those movies. Wow. That's insane. The Enforcer, Magnum Force. Sudden Impact. Clint. Bro, those movies are awesome But you know what's even more awesome

You know what I've been watching on YouTube Dudes who review the latest Steven Seagal movies Like this You know look above the law is the shit I still maintain to this day Above the law is a great Fucking action movie.

Jim Carrey's in one of these. Wow. Oh, wow. He lip synced to Guns N' Roses, an Ecclesiastes movie. Love it. So that was in the 70s or the 80s probably? That was the 88 one.

Okay. Love Above the Law. So the early Steven Seagal movies were legit. They were great. They were fun. He looked like a bad motherfucker like I believed it I think it was like

one of the most realistic martial arts action films ever cause he wasn't doing jump split kicks he was bashing people over the head with pool sticks

and fucking breaking their arms and shit it was more realistic I liked see I know I could fuck with the martial arts I love it

I wanna get into some Wing Chun I wanna get into some Wing Chun yeah because I love I. I want to get into some Wing Chun. You do? I want to get into some Wing Chun, yeah, because I love Ip Man. Oh, okay. I've been watching a lot of that. You want to learn it?

I do. I do. I want to. I got to. So I've been boxing going on two years now. I'm getting fast. Boxing's better. I'm getting good.

I'm getting fast. But I like the smoothness of Wing Chun. Right. You know, I like, I do like the box. Boxing, to me, a lot of people try to rush it,

but it's all in your feet. Everybody try to create power when the power's in your legs. I had to learn all of that as well. Yeah. And boxing, it ain't as easy as it look.

Boxing does not look easy, so. Look, I would watch boxing, I'm like, I could do that. Really? No, I used to. And then I get in there and i find out i'm goofy my feet don't do what my feet supposed to do you know and you know it's a rhythm you know so i had to learn all of that so

i started i had to get my feet together before i swung a punch so i think that's the importance but but I want to learn some Wing Chun. Well, Wing Chun, it's interesting for blocking and stuff and trapping arms. And there's a few moves that some guys do in MMA fights where it is really technically Wing Chun because they, like, block things and trap things and land shots over the top. Yeah, yeah. But if you're learning boxing, that's, like, the best thing you can learn in terms of like realistic self-defense with your hands like yeah boxing is probably the best thing to learn i wanted to do i wanted to fight when i was younger my mother never let me fight

she never the reason why i'm boxing now is because she never let me i wanted to box i remember i was in the sixth grade and i had a friend named i I think his name was Carl. And he was a fighter. He was a fighter in his sixth grade. And I was like, man, I want to fight. She's like, no. But I'm happy she said no, because I remember me and Tony Hinchcliffe was watching a fight. I remember we was, it was like, I think it was right before COVID actually. And I forgot her name.

Joanna, I think. Joanna Janjacek. Yeah. The UFC fighter. was right before covid actually and i forgot her name joanna i think you want to be on jay check yeah the ufc fighter did with the giant hole the swollen head yeah man when i saw that i think i called my mom and i was like you was right you was right as i was growing up to not let me fight that looked crucial yeah that one was pretty pretty rare though that usually does not happen that's happened it happened once in a boxing match really hasim rockman yeah um i'm not sure who he fought he did that to somebody no no no his head go to hasim rockman um uh hematoma yeah look at that yeah what fight was that in who was he

fighting where that happened holyfieldfield. That's right. Really? Yeah. Something happened. And sometimes it happens off a headbutt. Like sometimes dudes accidentally collide heads and then your tissue rips and then the inside of your head fills up with blood. No. So it was a punch that did it. Yeah. So it looks like it might have been, like, a little swollen already, and then he lands, like, a perfect punch. If I remember this fight, it was, like, a crazy brawl. Yeah, see, like, it looked like it was already a little swollen.

Like, maybe they had collided heads, or maybe another punch had done it. Yeah. But that's super, super rare. I'm going to go on and guess he lost this fight. Yeah, he lost that fight. Yeah. Good fighter, though. Yeah.

But that thing on Ioana, that was crazy. That was just like, it turned her into like a character. Yeah. She looked, immediately I thought elephant man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, man, did I? I never even really went to. You see her head?

Man. Crazy. That's a totally different person, right? Mm-hmm. Looks like it. But I'm pretty sure she's better, and I haven't seen her head? Man. Crazy. That's a totally different person, right? Mm-hmm. Looks like it. But I'm pretty sure she's better, and I haven't seen her fight since then. Did you see Madonna on stage last night? I didn't.

I was on a plane last night while the Grammys were on. People are complaining about plastic surgery. They're saying she looked like she had plastic surgery. That's why I asked. I haven't seen it. Have you seen her? I did not see that. You know what I did see, though, that's hilarious?

Someone is doing this scene where they play the devil, and they're dancing around, and they have fire behind them and all these devils. And then when it ends, it says, brought to you by Pfizer. Stop it. Why? Because Pfizer was advertising the Grammys. Why? I don't think it's fake.

Is it? I'll check, but that sounds like it's fake. Here, let me send it to you. It's too easy to make. It's too easy to make. You're right. It is too easy to make. I want to believe it's real.

Well, hold on. New York Post reporting. Let's see. The Grammys featured Sam Smith's demonic performance and was sponsored by Pfizer. It really is true. Yo, that's random. So this is, that is hilarious. But this is Marjorie Taylor Greene.

I know. She could have got hoodwinked. We've been hoodwinked before. So look at this. It's all the devil. Seems pretty legit. I have to check the broadcast. This is what Marjorie Taylor Greene

says. Scroll back. I'm reading it. The Grammys featured Sam Smith's demonic performance and was sponsored by Pfizer, and the Satanic Church now has an abortion clinic in New Mexico that requires its patients to perform a satanic ritual before services. American Christians need to get to work.

Oh, Jesus Christ. I feel like with this kind of shit, I feel like someone is playing 3D chess. Like someone in the World Economic Forum, some fucking billionaire that's running the world is like, I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to get these people fighting over gender and who should take a shit in what bathroom. And the Satanists are running the world is like, I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to get these people fighting over gender and who should take a shit in what bathroom and the Satanists are running the pizza place. I'm going to get these people fighting over this while I institute

some sort of a gigantic global social credit score system and control all the money. That's just straight random and surprising as fuck to me. That. That? Yes.

Well, the Bratsy by Pfizer is hilarious. The fact that someone thought that was a good idea is hilarious. Like, they had to know. They had to know that that guy was going to pretend to be the devil. They had to know that all the Christians like her are going to go, and the satanic abortion clinic is going to... I love when Sam Smith and what's the other guy? The black dude.

Shit, I hate when I have these brain fucks. Lil Nas X. He had the Uptown Road. Yeah, Lil Nas X. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. I love when they fuck with people doing the devil shit. Didn't he have the devil's blood or some shit?

No, he was giving the devil a lap dance. He gave the devil a lap dance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just love it. But the shoes aren't really devil's blood. But he really did give the devil a lap dance in his music video. That's when they went crazy. It pisses America off so bad.

It's like, don't you see he's doing this shit to, like, fuck with you? Yeah. Yeah. It's hilarious. They have guts, though. I don't want to fight against America. I just want to sit on my ranch with my three rocks. Look at this.

Right-wingers melt down over satanic Pfizer-sponsored Grammys. Jesus Christ. Of course they did. But this is what I'm saying. It's like I almost feel like this is too on the nose. I almost feel like we're all being played. Like we're being played against each other while these people are just finding ways

to control us and control all the money. I feel like this is all fake. I know it's real. I know that was a real song. I know that's a real commercial afterwards, but it just seems so stupid. It seems so stupid. It's almost like if AI is real already, if artificial intelligence is real already and it's manipulating us, that's how it manipulates us.

Just get us to fight over the dumbest shit. Well, I was seeing that. Didn't they create these people that look like real people that aren't real people? Yeah. Yeah. Well, they're doing it with images already. We brought up some of them the other day where there was like a few errors in some of the images where you could see like that arms were in the wrong place. Like the wrong kind of like people's arms were like detached from their body and shit.

But that's that they'll fix that. They'll fix all those things. And then it'll be video. It'll be a person that's indistinguishable from a real person it'll be on video talking to you calling you up hey punky um you know we're gonna do this and that and just love to see you again you'd be like wow this is weird i have these feelings like this is a real person this isn't even a real person now if i see one of the motherfuckers in person that's a a big problem. They're probably going to be in person. I know that.

It's a matter of time. See, this is why I like to stay my ass inside and mind my business. I have my little drink in my two-step. I watch my little Grey's Anatomy on my walking dead, and I be with my bitch. I ain't got time.

I go to work. I go home. I don't be outside. I think we're the last. We're the last of the real people, Punky. I just to work. I go home. I don't be outside. I think we're the last. We're the last of the real people, Punky. I just can't. I think there's like one or two more generations of us, and then people are robots. I just, I don't want to be around none of that shit.

I just want to stay inside. Yeah, but you're going to. I'm happy. You're going to be around it. I probably ain't going to have no damn choice. There's going to be robots knocking on your door trying to sell you insurance. And you're going to be going, I don't fucking believe this. And if you don't buy it, they're going to pull a gun out, a weapon out on your ass. No, you can insult the robot.

It doesn't hurt their feelings. You think until one day. One day when the robots revolt. Robots holding you down. Remember that time you were talking shit and I was trying to sell insurance? You're like, oh, no. You had these many robocops running around. yeah yeah i robot remember when i robot displayed emotions yeah that's the i think that might be the scary part that's the scary part yeah i think you start

getting petty imagine if robots get petty you know shit i might write that yeah why not write that petty robot that's the thing you have to do with snl right you have to constantly be coming up ideas for sketches huh yeah a lot of people don't get how um i think mentally frustrating i'm not frustrating mentally uh exhausted yeah i get exhausted with snl a lot now ask me to write a pilot i'll write you a pilot pilot. I'll have fun with it. But a sketch is a different world. It's a different world. It's a different ball game. It's not my world.

You know, SNL is a very hard job. Very hard job. It's not. I mean, it's hard mentally. It's hard physically. It's hard. It's hard. Now, let me tell you something.

The perks are great. I have a whole bunch of fun. I'm sure. I have fun with those people in there. I have fun creating relationships. I have fun. You're also a part of a group that includes Eddie Murphy, John Belushi, Gilda Radner, Dan Aykroyd, Phil Hartman. That feels good.

Holy shit. I mean, that's a crazy legacy. Chris Rock. I walked through that building. I walked through the building. Norm MacDonald. Like it's the palm trees every day. Yeah.

That's wild. Every day I'm like, what the fuck are you doing here, bitch? Wild. Still, in my third year. How do you write? Do you write in front of a computer? Do you write, you just sit around and write things down when they come to you? What do you do?

Well, it's a very fast, right? The turnover over there is fast. So it's like you do the show Saturday, Sunday. You can rest your mind if you want to, but you got to have something cooking and boiling inside of your brain about Sunday night. So then Monday we go, we pitch, we meet the hosts, and then we pitch ideas. What's a Sunday for you like sleep sleep sleep sleep no liquor i eat whatever i want and i sleep all day but do you is that when you're like

prepping do you get ready for monday um sometimes it depends if i have the strength i'll call people and say hey you know what you got this week i got idea. Let's figure out how to flush it out tomorrow, which is a Monday. All right. So Mondays we go to work just to meet the host and kind of just settle in. We meet. Hello, how you doing? Like if it was you, hey. Lauren will say, Joe Rogan, everybody.

We'll all go in his office. His office is about this big, maybe a little smaller. And we all sit on the floor like preschoolers. We've got our legs crossed. And Lauren will say, we're going to start with you, Rosebud. And Rosebud pitches her idea to you. How you doing, Joe? She'll say something. You are a man that has a vision of exotic coffee shops.

So you open up a coffee shop that's full of strippers and you call it tease search or some shit. Like just something stupid. It could be a real idea. It could be something fake. I always pitch something stupid. Look, I remember we went to work on Black History Day. On Martin Luther King Day.

And my pitch was, hey Aubrey, you are the captain of the Holiday Police Department and you come and fine Lorne Michaels for having all the black people at work on Martin Luther King Day. The office was busting out laughing because I go in there. I say what everybody want to say because I don't give a fuck. You know what I'm saying? I just be having fun.

And then after that, you leave the pitch and you go. You can either stay and talk, talk in groups and figure out what you're going to do for Tuesday or you leave. I leave or I stay, blah, blah, blah. And then Tuesday you write all day. We get to the office two, three o'clock. We don't leave till two, three o'clock. And then Wednesdays you got to wake up at eight. Go over your sketches with your writers.

Fix it. Maybe you'll go back to sleep about 10 30 11 sleep for 30 minutes get back up go to work until 11 p.m 12 p.m if your sketch get picked you know because you got to produce it so also at this job I'm learning how to produce learning how to direct learning how to make fast edits because you got to pick your set you got to pick the clothes that people are going. Because you got to pick your set. You got to pick the clothes that people are going to wear. You got to pick the outfits. You got to pick the wigs.

You got to, if you write the sketch and it get picked, you got to do it all. Of course you have help. But you're learning the stuff. Did you do any of that before you went to SNL? No. No theater, no nothing? do any of that before you went to SNL? No. No theater, no nothing?

I went to an actor school called the Actors Bootcamp, but that was that. That's neither here nor there. Yeah. Well, I think acting class is probably in some ways a little bit like comedy class. You know, I think there's good ones in terms of acting class.

There's legitimate, like real good places where people learn. They really do. And then there's also acting lessons that are given by people that weren't really good actors. They didn't really make it as an actor. And then they're teaching it. I know a lot of people that'll teach you something because they've done it. That's the problem with comedy, right?

The comedy classes, they're not being taught by Dave Chappelle. They're being taught by someone who's probably not that good at comedy, which is why they're teaching classes. Yeah, that's true. There's a lot of that. But it does get you on stage, though. That's the benefit of it. When I did get to SNL, a lot of people did go to school.

They did? They went to acting school? They went to improv school, Second City, Groundlings, and all of that. Because the more and more I get to know people over there, I'm like, oh, y'all went to acting school? They went to like improv school, Second City, Groundlings and all of that. Because the more and more I get to know people over there, I'm like, oh, y'all went to school. Yeah. Oh, I came from a little place with black walls called the Comedy Store. I don't know nothing about this. It's a type of school, though.

It's a type of performance school for sure. That's what I'm saying. And with that then that's me saying to myself what are you doing well think about how young eddie murphy was when he was on snl and all his performance was stand-up but look how good he was yeah because he already knew how to perform the hardest thing is you're performing live for laughs in front of strangers all the time and in your case you're getting up late. You were getting up late.

Yeah. And you were going on after a bunch of murderers, this Anthony Jeselnik and Sebastian and all these killers. And so by the time you're on stage, that show's three hours old. Yeah. You know? It was fun. It's fun.

I think like Don Barris, you know, he loved that late night spot. Yeah. Like whoever is in there, he lights it up. Like, yeah, I've been in here for three hours. Then you meet this person, this crazy, psychotic human being who comes in the comedy store, who's a staple. And he's like, get up here and come spit in my mouth. It's like, wait a minute, what? And then he got the band coming up and people it's not a real band yeah he pressed play on this thing and everybody's beating on chairs yeah and they got

fake uh pianos and and and it is you are rocking now he's rocking the house at two three in the morning yeah until they say all right that's enough He'll go till four if you let him. Yeah. And it's just lit. Yeah. So that's the beauty of that place. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. You know, that that late night spot, that was the Kenneson spot. That's how Kenneson became famous. Yeah. Kenneson became famous because people would. Well, first of all, because he was so talented. But and, you know, he did Letterman and HBO. But the thing in Hollywood was that people would know that Kennison was going on after midnight. So they would come to the store to see Kennison because he was on last.

And he would go as long as he wants. The last person goes as long as they want. And so that's the Holtzman spot too now. And Kennison would go up and you'd have all these rock stars and movie stars would go by and see him. That's dope. And they came there just to see Kennison. That's so inspiring, actually.

Oh, my God. That's all I could think of when I first moved there. And when I moved there, it was right after the wave. Because comedy comes in these wild waves sometimes. And the store certainly always did. And I got there in 94. I went there for the first time in 93. And it was like a ghost town.

It was crazy. I went in the OR and there was like a boat act on stage, like someone who just should have stopped a long time ago. They were doing, they were doing, you know, jokes from the 1970s. It was, it was sad. And I was like, this is the comedy store. Like this is, there was no one in there. There was like 20 people in the audience and I sat in the back. But that was after Kinison like there was a Kinison wave okay did it ended like in the late

80s when he left he left the Comedy Store and he got banned from the Comedy Store and then he kind of fell apart and then he died and then when I got there in 93 94 there wasn't like a lot of people that were like big names that were there all the time yeah I heard when I got there, they had like this, I think they called it like the dark ages or something like where it was just like super dark and it wasn't too busy. No, it wasn't busy at all for a while in the early nineties,

but occasionally like Martin Lawrence would come and then it would be flooded. Yeah. Occasionally someone big would come and they would go on the main room and it would be monstrous. And then, then the place would be packed. George Carlin was there for a while. You know, Damon Wayans would just stop in. He would never like do like announce sets. He would stop in and just, cause he just wanted to fuck around. He wanted to go there and fuck around. So, you know, you'd see elite comedy, but it wasn't, it wasn't like it was in the eighties or something. And then then it became that again like slowly over time it built up and then there was that new

era that was in like the the 2000s like 2014 on yeah fuck every night was sold out Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday yeah shows three shows constantly packed house yeah moving in and out and you'd see Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle yes he came fucking Tim Dylan holy shit there's so many comics here was wild yeah my first night work actually working now I wasn't supposed to work I was actually there for orientation and it was so stacked there was like yo you mind just kind of expediting a little bit I'm like how I don't know what a tables that I don't know what I'm doing. They say, here. That's how grimy.

Like, I'm still just crazy. Like, here, here go a map. I'm like, oh, you want me to walk in the dark and look at a fucking map while I got a tray of drinks? Great. Wow. But that's how it is in life, too.

You just got to jump your ass in that water and swim. If I'm not mistaken, it was freaking, was it Louis C.K. that night? I don't remember. It could have been him. And it was just stacked. And it was like, I don't remember. It could have been him. And it was just stacked. And it was like, we need the help. We need the extra hands.

I was working in blue jeans. Jesus. And they just threw me a Comedy Store shirt. And it just went from there. But after that, it was dead for like two years. Yeah. Well, that was just, you know, it would be like that if someone big would come. If someone big would come, then it would build up again.

Right. You know, and it'll happen again. It always happens with that place. It rises and it's just an iconic place. When I was a kid in 1988, when I first did stand-up, I was at Stitches in Boston. And I remember thinking about the Comedy Store like, that's Mecca. That was Mecca. Like, I had to get there.

I had to get there. Like, that was my goal always was to get to the comedy store i didn't even know why i didn't even know how it was like that this thought like i was terrible yeah i was an open micer and i was like the comedy store that's where richard prior used to work out that's where sam kinnison used to work out you know and i was like i gotta get there and i remember getting there and being like this is the comedy store? This is it? Yeah, it was surprising. Yeah, but then I saw a really good comedy. I kept going back. And then I saw Dom Herrera there.

And I saw all these other people. Then I got there earlier in the day. And I realized if you get there like 9 o'clock, it's more packed. I was showing up at like 11, 11.30 after I'd gotten off of work on a sitcom. Oh, I was about to say, where were you working? I was doing this sitcom called Hardball. That's what I came over to do. And the pilot was me and Jim Brewer

and a bunch of other people that were in, like mostly actors, and it was on Fox. And it didn't go. It went like six episodes. But I had already moved here and I already got an apartment, so I stayed. Okay. But the had already moved here and I already got an apartment, so I stayed. Okay. But the big thing to me was becoming a paid regular at the Comedy Store,

which I think happened after the show got canceled. I think I was there for quite a few months. I was a non-paid regular. Yeah. So I had to go on at the end of the show. Like after everyone was already done, then I could go up. How was your relationship with Mitzi? Oh, it was amazing.

Yeah. I couldn't believe I was talking to her. You know, because me, it was like that was the godmother. Like, I could be in her presence, and she would give me advice. She would tell me she thought I was funny. She'd tell me, oh, that was hilarious. I'd be like, I just couldn't believe it. You know, like when she told me that I was a paid regular,

it was like the happiest day of my life. Yeah. Like, I couldn't believe it. How was the process with you? Because when I became a paid regular was like the happiest day of my life. Yeah. I couldn't, I couldn't believe it. How was the process with, with you? Because when I became a paid regular, I had to showcase. Did you have to showcase or did she just watch you for a period of time and then come to you and tell you? Um, I showcased, I did my first set and she said I could be a non-paid regular. And so I did that for, like I said, a few months and then I get to showcase again to be a paid regular and I had a great set. And one paid regular. And I had a great set.

And one of the reasons why I had a great set was there's this guy named the Todd. That's what he'd call himself, the Todd. And he was friends with Pauly Shore. And he used to be, he was on, I saw him on MTV before I even did comedy. I saw him on MTV half hour comedy hour. Maybe it was like an open mic or when I saw him. I can't remember. But I remember seeing that guy on TV and then being around him at the store. And he was a

really nice guy. And one of the things that he said, he said, I sat next to Mitzi when you went on stage and I laughed really hard at all your jokes. Because you're really funny and I really want you to be a paid regular, but you're going to do that for other people someday too. He said that to me. All the help helps. But that's a real help.

Like if you could sit next to Mitzi, like if she knew, like if you're sit next to mitzi like if she knew like if you're a legit comic and she knew that you respected the person on stage and that you wanted to see their set and that you laughed mitzi you were without telling mitzi anything you would cosign yeah you were cosigning so he cosigned for me and i never forgot and then he got like really sick like something happened he had like a real brain problem oh no yeah like real bad where i don't know if even even know if he's still alive but uh he uh he came back to the store and there was something like really wrong with him unfortunately some some sort of health issue with his brain that's crazy it was

sad but but i learned from him and then there was like an interesting moment for me because i was like oh that totally makes sense like and that's what you should do. That's the dude. The Todd, huh? That's him. That's the Todd. Yeah. He was on the MTV half hour comedy.

Yeah, I was about to say, he looks very, very familiar. Yeah, he was in the 80s. You know, he was a guy that was like, you know, one of the guys you would see on TV. He had a unique name and, you know, he was a good comic. He was a funny guy. But that was what was big. It was that he helped me. I like that.

Yeah. I like the help. Because, you know, like you said earlier, some people don't want to see you rise. Well, some people, they just think they have a famine mentality. They think that there's only so much success and so much love and so much positivity out there, and they want it all for themselves. You know, I came at a crossroads. Like there were times when I had to hold myself accountable for being like that,

be mad at others for having more to me. And one day I just sat down and I'm just like, yo, that ain't your lane. That's not your plan. That's not your journey. So I had to like really pull myself out of that and be like, yo, you know, your life is different from everybody else's life and your journey is different. You know, so once I got out of that, that stupid mentality, like things really started and I put all that energy into like really focusing on myself and my work. Like things really shifted in my life when I stopped worrying about what other people were doing and what they had. Good for you.

Good for you. Do you remember what happened to you or why you made that switch? Well, I remember just saying to myself one day, that's a talented motherfucker. Why is you mad? And I would say to myself, I don't even know.

If the only reason why you're upset is because it ain't you that's a problem but it's common for me it was a problem yeah I used to feel like that

when I was younger and I recognized it in myself and I was like oh this is a weakness this is a terrible weakness yeah and it's also it actually fucks you over

it doesn't do a thing for that person who's killing it it doesn't hurt them at all. And people think it does, and that's why they engage in it, because they think they're going to diminish them around other people. They're going to talk shit about them around other people. I've had to have conversations with my friends about that.

I'm like, hey, man, that guy's a talented motherfucker, and you're being a bitch. Don't do that. I know the instinct. You feel like you deserve more, and you haven't gotten yours, but you're not on that guy's path. He's on a different path it's normal it's a normal it's just like we have to recognize what it is it's as normal as sneezing it's as normal it's like a normal part of being a human you just gotta you gotta check yourself check it yeah you gotta check that yeah that's all it is a lot of a lot of therapy A lot of therapy and meditation, my friend.

Also just recognize what it is and don't commit to it because you don't want to have been wrong. Or you want to defend yourself. Don't defend that. Don't defend that. Just let it go. Let it go. Don't be married to ideas you have. And if you have this jealous idea in your head, don't be married to that. Don't keep that. Don't keep it. I know it's it's normal it's instinct i used to have it all the time it's a big it's a big part of being a person you see someone who if you especially in the beginning because you're you're just trying to make it so you're so ambitious right you can't wait to go on stage and you see someone on stage bomb and you're like happy they bomb good that's another thing i had to stop doing yeah when i like when i was coming up at the store

and we would and before I was a paid regular if I would do the friends and family portion I would be happy that I was gone after someone who I knew weren't as good as me yeah and then my life started to change again when I started saying no that. I want the person in front of me to be dope as fuck. So even at SNL and the pitch meeting, I go after this guy who always light the room up with a pitch. And I went up to him and I'm like, bro, you make me better. Because I know I got to come. If I go after you in that meeting, I know I got to come hard.

So you are fueling me to keep the energy of the room when you go and then i have to go after you because i don't want to bring it down yeah so he's making me work harder but not in like this like i'm not envious of him right he's helping me and i like his help yeah by him just being himself yeah yeah that's the way to think about it so once i once i change that mentality of i want the best person in the room to be before me, that's when I started getting better as well. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So. I'm gonna put it like this. That's when I started being more prepared as well. That's when my preparation changed to going on stages, too.

I'm just like, all right, bet. I need to be a little bit more organized on stage. I need to know when my jokes is coming. I need to make sure I keep it nice and tight because I want to keep the energy in the room. Yeah. It also makes you rise up to that person's RPMs. That's why the Comedy Store was so good. You would be working with all these killers and you had to you couldn't be lazy. No. One thing that comedians like to do

is they like to bring someone on the road with them that's soft. So that person just sort of like goes up and does like a passable job and then they can go up and clean up like a hero. Yeah. But my thought was like A, that's not helping me at all and B, that's not good for the audience. So I would just bring the most

murderous, ruthless comics that I could find I started working with Joey because I couldn't follow him I brought Joey on the road with me because I had trouble following him once in New Jersey I'm like I'm bringing Joey on the road everywhere. Yeah Joey when he came into his own there was a time in like the late 90s where Joey came into his own where he just Really figured it out where he was unstoppable He was unstoppable. Because he had decided that Hollywood

was never going to give him any love. And so he was just, all he wanted was the respect of the comics and to kill. And he was just always on fire. Always on fire. And you would go on after him. It's like, how are you going to compete with that?

How are you going to ride that wave? And so taking him on the road with me made me sharper because I'm like this guy is just destroyed and then by the way after a while people knew who he was so in the beginning people didn't know him and they were like what the fuck is this

and then they would see him go on stage and they would get excited they were like oh shit that's Joey Diaz or was Joey Diaz from the JRE or Joey Diaz from the church of what's happening now and then it became now he's an icon. And he's a good man. He's a great man. He's a man. Joey. Yeah, that's my I love me some Joey. Yeah.

He's a he's a wild dude. He's a wild dude. And he was like in a lot of ways, like his irreverence is, his, like, his ability to just, like, cut loose on stage showed all of us. You know, like, he would get so crazy sometimes. I've seen moments on stage where Joey murdered so hard, like, there was no air in the room. No one could breathe. Everyone was just slapping tables.

It was just so ridiculous. And unfortunately, those were never captured, you know? That's, like, the thing is, like, people still have never seen Joey the way we've seen Joey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because those specials. Joey would be up there killing himself laughing.

Oh, my God. But his delivery is so point on and so straightforward. He don't hold nothing back. Economy Awards. Economy Awards. He's got the best Economy Awards. Those punchlines sneak up on you so fast. I would agree. And the rapid fire. Bang, bang, bang. Uh-huh. He don't the best economy awards. Those punchlines sneak up on you so fast. I would agree.

And the rapid fire, bang, bang, bang. He don't touch that microphone. Yeah. And God help you if you see him in front of a Cuban audience, because then he starts throwing in some Spanish and some Cuban flavored Spanish in with his jokes. And oh, my God. I've seen him at the Miami Improv back in the day. Murdered to the point where the headliner quit. The headliner went home.

Joey was middling and the headliner said, I quit. All right. I quit. I'm leaving. Got on a fucking plane. I'm not doing this to myself. Like, Joey, stay up on stage now, man. First show Friday.

They're like, check, please. Not a chance. This guy's with me all weekend fuck you because people when you go on the road for a week say you like you show up at tampa you you expect you're gonna get some local tampa comedian you know some soft touch who's gonna be up there not no disrespect to local tampa comedians but you know it's not like the strongest comedy right right so the odds are if someone's working for you as an opener in Tampa they're gonna you know be passable okay so you should I'm a fucking headliner I got TV credits on

evening at the improv let me get in there I got my my fucking closer bit and it's gonna kill Joey Diaz on stage and literally tables falling over people laughing so hard they're pushing tables over. They're falling onto the ground. Like, I can't believe this guy. Who was the headliner that got out of there? That's fucking hilarious. I can't really tell you. I'll tell you later.

Man, look. I'll tell you later. I probably still would have went up there and took my little bomb. But I would have been pissed. Those Cuban kids were mean, man. You didn't bomb good there. It was a different kind of bombing. It was a different kind of bombing. It was a different kind of bombing.

It was a different kind of bombing. It was a wild club. The guy who ran the club was a partier. There was a lot of partying going on, if you know what I mean. A lot of that Bolivian marching powder. There was a lot of shit happening. I understand. It was a wild time.

But it was also like there was some spots that you would go to. You're like, that club's crazy. And that was one of them.'re like that club's crazy and that was one of them you know i love that yeah i never know that joey out here man joey joey was like the the murder and nobody wanted to take joey as a middle act like get the fuck out of here like that would be death i mean i haven't seen him in three years i haven't seen so many people in three years i'm i'm just i'm happy i'm happy to be here because i know a lot of my people out here too yeah so well that's why i'm happy you're doing kill tony tonight yeah i'm gonna see my baby you gotta see that man tony's been my guy

i man i love that man i love that man he he's another person that like uh took me on a road i just go to him and be like let me open he'll He be like, okay. Yeah. No, Tony's the man. He's the man. He's the best host on planet Earth. Like, the way he handles Kill Tony, how quick he is off the cuff. That show's amazing. I love how quick he is. I remember seeing him at the Comedy Store before he was, you know, Kill Tony.

And if I'm not mistaken, he was working at the time. And I remember just seeing him in, you know, the room between the service bar and the back bar? That little space with the mirror? Yes. He was back there one time. He had a drink and he was just kind of just in his head. And I had a tray and I looked at him. I said, you okay?

What's wrong? He was like, they're playing with me, kid. They're going to turn me into a monster. He's like, he thinks he's in the wwe he's so out of his fucking mind he thinks vince mcmahon's waiting there with a camera he's so out of his fucking mind they're gonna turn me into a monster his goofy ass and no doubt yeah he started off in a belly room, moved it into the main room. Now he out here in Austin. He did what he said he was going to do. That shows Unstoppable.

It's such a good idea to have comics go up and do one minute. And then you have regulars like William Montgomery, Hans Kim, David Lucas. They all do a minute every week, a new minute every week. Every week. So David will write a new minute every week. And so many times, like David is very prolific. And so many times David will take that bit and then he'll be doing it like when he works with me all the time. So David and I are doing shows like most Tuesdays and Wednesdays. And so he'll take these bits from one minute and now all of a sudden he's got a whole new giant one minute chunk.

And that's a part of his regular act now because of this one minute a now all of a sudden he's got a whole new giant one minute chunk and that's a part of his regular act now because of this one minute a week thing it's an incredible resource for like up and coming comedians and Hans Kim is doing that too so every week you gotta be on point it's like SNL in a lot of ways where you have to create every week and there's only three of them

you know I can't wait to do a Kill Tony tonight cause I'm gonna say roast me I just tonight because I'm going to say roast me. I just want to be roast. I just love when David roasts my ass. David's the best. He just comes. David and Tony, when those two are roasting each other, it's the hardest I laugh in life.

The hardest I laugh in life. The last time I did it, I couldn't breathe. I was literally wheezing while these two were going back and forth with each other. I'm proud of him. He just sold out a theater, his first theater, David. Yes, yes. That is... David's killing it. That's amazing. forth with each other. I'm proud of him. He just sold out a theater. His first theater, David. David's killing it.

That's amazing. He works hard. He works hard. He's always doing stand-up. He's always out there. That's good. And we'll do two, three shows a week together out here. Oh, that's perfect. Hans Kim's doing the same thing. Brian Simpson's out here killing it. Oh, my baby! Segura's here now.

Christina Pazitsky's here. Yeah, my friends, I got a text thread. Duncan's here now. Some of my homegirls just hit me up about Segura. Why is he, has he always been this fine? I'm like, oh. He looks good now. He looks good. Tommy's a handsome man under all that blubber. They're like, when he started looking like this? I'm like,

this ain't my conversation, guys. You know what happened? Him and Burt had this weight loss challenge. And this was like, how many years ago was that? Five years ago? I just saw something about it. Did they do something recent? I think it's six years ago.

Six years ago. Oh, because I was about to say. But this is what started it. So him and Burt, yeah, him with Jason Momoa. Look at that. Look how good he looks. Look how thin he looks. Look how fucking thin Segura looks.

Wow. There's a picture of him. Go back to his Instagram, of him sitting down eating ice cream. And I looked at it, and I was like, look at that. Look how fit he looks. Look at his arms. Damn, when the fuck did that happen? Look at his legs, like everything.

Like, he's fit now. He's like, he works out twice a day, every day. He does weights, and he does cardio. He has a trainer that he brings with him on the road, and he's constantly working out. He has a trainer that he brings with him on the road and he's constantly working out. He has a sled that he pulls in his driveway and I'm watching all this shit and I'm like, this is insane. That's the level

I'm trying to get to. You can do that. Well, I'm trying to get to where I can afford to bring my trainer with me everywhere I go. Start off with someone to hold mitts for you. Oh, see, I got a boxing trainer. That's why I moved out to Jersey. Take that person with you. I moved out to Jersey Jersey got my boy Baron with me and he teach me everything he also like look don't be out here getting in fights cuz you could

really swing now don't hurt anybody especially now you have money he's like back he's like just always walk away cuz I don't I didn't really I do have a lot of power sometimes I do this to somebody just because I'm like, you're so stupid. And I'll be I pushed the fuck out of them. And I'll be like, my bad. I didn't mean to do that. You don't realize your power. But if I want to get to a level of having enough money to take my trainer every you work for me and only me with me forever.

Forever. 365 days. What if they want to quit? You kill them? Yeah. Hell yeah. Put a bullet in your foot. Let me see.

But that's my boy, man. I've never gone that far where I take a trainer with me on the road. I don't bring a trainer with me. Well, I mean, if I go out on the road, Friday said to come back home, then no. But if I'm like, if life is constantly on the road week by week for me, I'm going to need them. The problem with that is like, it's great for sure, but I need alone time. And that's my alone time.

When I work out, I like to put AirPods on. So I'm listening to music and I just get cranking and I just get in my own head. That's what I like to do. I don't want anybody telling me what we're doing next.

I know what to do. I write it out. Well, that's my problem. If I knew how to work out. Yeah. But there's a great benefit to having a trainer no doubt but for me it's like what i get out of it personally um i've definitely worked with trainers before and i love like what i've learned from them but i i like that time was just me struggling in my own head that's to me like that's the start of every day every day i do something and when i do it i set it out i write out what i'm gonna do figure it out in my head and then i just and that

way i'm just in my own head you get to talk to anybody i don't look at my phone i like i dig that i dig that do you get into a lot of uh crossfit i do those same kind of movements i do a lot of kettlebell stuff and i do a lot of um body weight stuff so I do a lot of similar things because you you you stay strong you know what I'm saying so I don't think you don't do a lot of cardio do you I do cardio really yeah yeah I do uh airdyne bike you know what that is uh-uh and I do rounds in the bag but the airdyne bike is a um it's a you you like do your arms and your legs at the same time oh yes yes yes okay yes, yes. Okay, yes. I have this rogue echo bike. It's brutal.

It's brutal. And so I do sprints on this thing. So you do 20-second sprints with 10-second rests. And I do that for eight reps. And I do that for 10 repetitions. So I do 10 rounds of 20-second sprint, 10-second rest, 20-second sprint. Do that eight times. Get my heart rate down below 100 and then do it again.

And then get my heart rate back up. You do that 10 times? 10 times in a row, yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, so that's my cardio. I do that at least once a week. Okay. And then I do, yeah, I don't do that a lot.

Then I do rounds in the bag, and I do other stuff for cardio. Okay. I pull a sled. That bag is some serious, that bag will do some serious damage. Sure. You'll shred very fast in here with that bag, and, like, my arms get, like, let's say I've just, will do some serious damage or you'll shred very fast in here with that bag and like uh my my arms get like let's say i've just you know sometimes if i get depressed i just stop everything right so let's say i'll stop for like two months if i get back in the gym and get back

get on that bag i shred so fast and so hard within three weeks i'm like 10 12 pounds down yeah off the bag it's a lot of calories you're burning too if you wear a chest strap one of those straps that measures the amount of calories you're burning you're burning a shitload of calories hitting the bag yeah i mean it's so dynamic you're there's so much movement so your heart rate is jacked yeah i'll go i'll go my my trainer's like look if you ever go to a boxing gym without me you have to go to every bag you do three rounds on every bag so uh i so i one thing that is one thing i know how to do i don't know how to work out but i know how to use every

bag in the gym that's perfect that's all you really need you want to get in shape yeah also they have these um round timers that'll let you do like the same kind of thing like sprints and then rest periods so what it'll be like um i think title title boxing had one ringside ringside had one and uh you had like a green light and a yellow light and then a red light and the red light was in between rounds then you would rest and the green light was sprint so the green light you had boom boom just beat the fuck out of the back and then the yellow light would come on and then you would just sort of tap it and move around. Okay.

And you would just kind of catch your breath back up. And then the green light would come back on you. So it would give you, like, structure. Okay. Like, during that green time, you sprint. During the yellow time, you lay back. Oh, yeah. So basically, that'll be, like, each light be a minute, I'm guessing, right?

I don't know how they do it. I don't know how it does it. I want to how it does it i want to say it's 30 seconds i think actually no i think what it is is adjustable i think you could set the round i think the round thing would go to as much as five minutes and you could choose the intervals okay yeah yeah i'm really getting deep into this uh like my i don't know if my trainer be gassing me up man i think he'd be gassing me i don't know but he's like yo he's like you you could go out and fight. Like, I think I'm going to get you somebody to spar with. I'm like, I don't know if I'm ready for that.

He's like, yo, you ready? You have heavy bags right next door. You can show me. Yeah, he want me to fight. Show me what you got, punky. Hey, I'll hit that bag. You know, we got that I love is a water bag. It's like a big ball filled with water.

Have you ever hit one of those? I don't. Oh, it's nice. The only thing I've done with water is, I don't know what you call it, but it got handles on it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll just do like these little lunges that shred you all in your back and stuff. Yeah, because the water's moving. You have to kind of adjust to the movement of the water.

Yeah, those are great. I like stuff like that, like clubs. You ever use those metal clubs, steel clubs? You pick them up. They're called club bells. It's like a long pole. It almost looks like a weapon. And you're like swinging them above your head.

And it's all about like controlling this awkward weight. Oh, no. Or like a mace. You ever use a mace? Same thing? No, I usually just do that with the heavy ball. Oh, the medicine ball? Yeah. That's good, no. Or like a mace. You ever use a mace? Same thing? No, I usually just do that with the heavy ball. Oh, the medicine ball? That's good, too.

That's good, too. You could do a bunch of shit like that with a medicine ball. But the thing about clubs and maces is that it's awkward. So there's this long metal piece with a mace, and then the end of it is the weight. So you're holding on to this thing. Ah! So it's all this leverage, and you're swinging it around. It's really good for your shoulders and your core and works your leg, works your whole body.

Yeah. That working out is serious. Serious, Bunky. Oh, yeah. It's also good for the dome. That's the most important part of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do feel a lot more, like whenever I work out before I do anything, my brain is ahead of me.

Yes. Yeah. It's fired up. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't stop. Like whenever I work out before I do anything, my brain is ahead of me. Yes. Yeah. It's fired up. Yeah. It doesn't stop. And my girlfriend, she's a little thick one, right? She bigger than me. And one time, I don't know what happened, like she came, sat on top of me on the sofa,

and I stood up. I like walked up to the kitchen, and she was like, what the fuck? She said, I got to call money. That's my, I call my trainer. She's like, I got to call him right away. They get on the phone. She was like, man, this bitch is strong. She's like, you got my baby picking me up.

That's hilarious. I didn't know I was that strong either. That's hilarious. You know, because, because, you know, I got to do a lot of leg work. Yeah, sure. All your strength comes from below. So I do a whole bunch of squats. I do 100 push-ups a day every day, straight up.

Really? Yeah, I got to. How many do you do in a row? I could do 40 in a row. Wow. I could do 40 push-ups in a row. That's impressive. I'm working up to doing 100 in a row.

This guy did this play one time, maybe 15 years ago, and this guy was like, all right, time for me to get my push-ups in. He did like 300 push-ups in a row. In a row? In a row. What's the world record for the amount of push-ups someone's ever done in a row? I would like to know that. Because I would imagine it would be close to the world record. Like how many push-ups can someone do before their arms fall apart?

I think it's like 500. I guess it also would depend on how heavy the person is too. Yeah. You know, like if you're a heavy person, that's a big, you know, if you're Bert Kreischer. Are you watching this? They got this show on Netflix right now. It's called like the Top 100 or something like that.

And it's just like all these guys and girls, ladies and men from Asia. They're all Asian. And it's like, it's, God, what is it called? But they go into this room and it's like whoever's stronger and whoever's, and the men compete against the women as well. They had this one competition where the guy was competing against the woman and he had his knee on her chest. And everybody was like, come on, man, come on.

And he's looking at him, and he's like— Competing in what way? What was he doing? I got to—man, this show— How many push-ups? What's the most record push-ups? I'm trying to find the real truth. It said it's 10,000.

What? In a row? Yeah. What? Breaking the record of 7,650. What? Both sound fake. What?

There's a video that says why that's probably fake, so I was trying to find another number while you were saying something, and then she brought up the show that I was trying to then get an answer for, so. How much time did that take? Here's the show. Yes!

Physical 100. Man. This show got me on the... Now, it got its slow parts, because it got to do a lot of introductions and a lot of, like, things. Is that Akiyama? It's in Korea, for sure. That might lot of introductions and a lot of like things. Is that Akiyama? It's in Korea for sure.

That might be Akiyama. The guy with the big head in the background. Yo, it's a lot of like people. It's a lot of famous Asian fighters. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Well, Akiyama, they call him Sexy Yama. Yeah. Yoshihiro Akiyama.

He's a world famous MMA fighter that fought in pride. They call him Sexy Yama because he's likekiyama he's a world-famous MMA fighter that fought in pride they call him sexy Yama cuz he's like super tan and super jacked yeah go pull up a video of Akiyama fighting okay here it is this is this physical one hundred survival process that will take place squid games squid games and it's Squid Games. Squid Games. And it's stuff like with the mind as well. So it's like you don't have to be the strongest or the fastest. You just got to be strategic.

Oh, look at this. Like whoever has the ball at the end of three minutes is the champion. Oh, interesting. Interesting. Oh, wow. So they're duking it out for this fucking ball. Yeah. Oh, that's a good idea. Interesting. Oh, wow. So they're duking it out for this fucking ball. Yeah. Oh, that's a good idea.

Yeah. And that's just one challenge. So the last challenge, the sand. So that's the last one. The new episode will come on tomorrow. Now, shit. Yeah. That's a good idea.

Someone's going to get fucked up, though. They're duking it out on a wooden battleship? That seems like a recipe for a broken leg. The thing the thing is, now that is going to be a team thing. So everybody is thinking, okay, we have to have all strong people. But some of these, you're going to have to have some light people so they can get across bridges and stuff. Sure. And the way they, oh, man, it's just so good. Look at that dude in the front picture.

Go back to that picture. Look how jacked that dude is. Jesus Christ. And sometimes the biggest and the strongest lose. Of course. Because they're not as, they didn't have a game plan going into the event. Well, also, they probably don't have to be as crafty. Right.

Because they're big and strong. They think they're just going to get away with that. And then they find out, oh, no, this is like some shit we I have to hang by my hands longer than the other person. That's crazy you say that because that was the first challenge. Oh, see, we figured that out on Fear Factor. On Fear Factor, girls can hang longer than guys can. We had these jack dudes and they had to hang off of this bar over a

bridge. And the jack dudes all fell before the women. Because women don't weigh as much. No, no. And it was crazy how they just got comfortable. Some of them just got comfortable up there just holding the bar like this. I'm like, God damn, these people are flexible. But they got gymnasts up there that's still in the game and still winning and stuff. It's deep.

See if you can find a video of Akiyama fighting. This dude was a pride legend. What's the funniest interview you ever did in the UFC? Yeah, like the funniest. The funniest? Derek Lewis, for sure. He took his pants off. And I go, Derek, why'd you take your pants off?

He goes, my balls was hot. And I go, I understand, sir. He just took his shorts off in the middle of the ring after he won. And I'm like, why'd you take your pants off? He goes, my balls was hot. So Akiyama, he was a judo champion. And he also, this is him with the gi on. He used to fight with the gi on, but he fought with no gi.

And look how jacked he was. Oh, wow. He was an evil fighter, man. He was badass. Akiyama was legit. He was seriously legit. He beat Melvin Manhoef, I believe. Jesus Christ.

He beat him by submission. But he was super legit with judo. Oh, okay. Look at this. Bam tap i mean and melvin manhoef the guy who he just beat was one of the greatest strikers that ever fought in mma one of the scariest motherfuckers that guy melvin manhoef was a destroyer so when uh sexy yama submitted him that was a big deal really yeah yeah so the sexy y Sexy Yama guy, that's the old man that you just pointed out. That's the guy in the background when you see his face, the picture.

The big head and the other people in front of him. That's Akiyama. Okay. So he must be the host of it or something, right? No, he's competing in it. Oh, really? Yeah. Jesus Christ.

There's no host. The host is just a voice. He was in pride fighting in the early 2000s. Where? Yeah. Like, what year did Akiyama fight in Pride? I want to guess like 2006, somewhere around there. When did he fight?

Did it say when he fought in Pride? Because Pride, when it was a big thing. 2001. 2001. 2002. Yeah. when it was a big thing. 2001.

2001. 2002. Yeah. Like, when the UFC purchased Pride, I think in like 2000, what was that? Six or seven

or something like that? One championship. Well, wait. Well, he fought in one championship recently. That was pretty recently,

which is crazy. So 20 years. Whew. So 20 years after he first started competing. So 2009, the UFC bought and brought in Akiyama. Wild.

Wild. So now he's hosting that show. He's got to be 50 years old. How old is that guy? Yeah. He's got to be deep into his 40s. Well, you can tell because everybody has a massive amount of respect for him on the show when they speak of him. Yeah.

And his first one-on-one on the show when they speak of him. Yeah. And his first one-on-one battle. So it's 100 of them. And then the first battle, half of them were eliminated. And that was the ball. So now another half is about to be eliminated by tomorrow with the sand. Now the sand is very strategic because you got to fill this bag of sand, walk across a bridge, and empty it into a tube. And whoever has the most in 12 minutes is going to win.

Is this all the people that are on it? Yeah, there's other fighters and stuff on it, too. There you go. How old is Akiyama? Does it say? 47. 47. Damn. He looks good, too.

Still fighting. He fought in one championship, I want to say, within the last three years. He looked good, too. Still fighting. He fought in one championship, I want to say, within the last three years. He looked good, too. And you know what else? To say that he had all of that background of just being exquisite at what he does, he's very humble when he speaks. Because they do interviews and stuff, and he's just sitting up there like I don't know man

it's an English voiceover that's not good I'd rather them just have the subtitles honestly because the English voiceovers are so weird you want to hear the guy's voice and he's like I don't know man maybe I made the wrong choice

he's so humble in the way he goes into his competitions. He's never like, I'm going to win this. You know, in the early Bruce Lee movies, they had someone do his voice. Oh, really? If you watch the early Bruce Lee movies, someone is talking like this. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone's talking over him. Hey, guys, we have to go down there and fix this problem.

Right now. Yeah. Because every time I watch the I Man movies I'd rather them leave it, leave just his Chinese accent than have the American guy speak over it. I hate it. No, you want subtitles. Because you want

to hear the inflection in their voice when someone is talking over them like this. That seems crazy. Especially if it's like a dramatic scene. I can't stay with it. I think this is real, though. I can't tell. How the fuck are you in this?

Oh, no, no, no. That's different. I'm not just going to leave it alone. Bruce Lee, what was that that we just saw? They have to impersonate it. I don't know if they're real or fake. They're mostly fake people just re-uploading them. Yeah, just don't say Bruce Lee voiceover.

Right. Bruce Lee had his voice dubbed in early movies. Dubbed early movies. Maybe, but I think the early movies, there's some pretty obvious examples. This is going to take too long now.

Oh, Jamie. I was trying to do it fast. I understand. We're going to get lost long now. Oh, Jamie. I was trying to do it fast. I understand. Then we're going to get lost. Yeah. See? Okay. There's a lot of different voiceover dubs that he does. I get it.

But that was the thing with kung fu movies, right? And Godzilla, too. You go watch early Godzilla, it was all dubbed over. Hey, Godzilla's coming. This is a real problem, guys. I hate that. Just give me the real people and let me read the shit.

There's a new show that's on Netflix right now. Here, is this voice dubbed here? That's Bolo Young. That's not even... Good morning, Mr. Roper. We have been waiting for you. 1973, Enter the Dragon. By this time, he we have been waiting for you 1973 enter the dragon

By this time he might have been talking in his own voice. I believe he was But I don't think Bruce is gonna do much talking he's just gonna fuck this dude up Wow, I love Noises yeah, I remember hearing those noises going. What is this? By the way, no one can do that now. If you think about karate movies, people just do karate. Nobody goes. There's no swag in fashion, man.

He was smooth. Oh, he was so smooth. I loved him. Yeah. And he was an Asian superhero. Yeah. You know, which was, you know, they didn't, they didn't ever see that coming. This dude out of nowhere throwing karate kicks and doing jiu-jitsu and judo and mixing them all together.

Nobody saw that coming. That guy changed martial arts. He did. Before the UFC came along, that was the first guy that combined things. He was the one who kind of opened the door for the UFC in a lot of ways. If I'm not mistaken, he also did Wing Chun. He did. He did.

Yeah. That's why I have to learn it. I got to figure out when and how, but I got to get there. Yeah. He trained under Yip Man. Yeah. Yeah. He trained under him.

And also, again, if I'm not mistaken, I think it was created by a woman. Wing Chun was? Yeah. I think you're right. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't think they know. How the fuck could they know?

How do they know and figure that out? I just want to learn how to be lighter on my feet. Okay. Well, you should do plyometrics. Do footwork drills. Yeah? Yeah. All right.

I could look into that, too. There's a ton of guys on Instagram that are boxing coaches that set up those footwork ladders. You ever see those footwork ladders? Yeah. And you go in and out with the feet and do plyometrics where you jump like ski moves side to side, side to side. That's how to get light on your feet.

Yeah. And then learning how to use it. When I'm on a road and I don't have my trainer, I'll plug in Sean T. I got his yearly, I got his yearly beach body program. his yearly beach body program.

And I just crank up Insanity. And he does have a plyometric workout on there too that uses the ladder. But I never do that one. That's a good one. You know what else is really good? Skipping rope. People don't skip rope.

Jumping rope is fantastic. It's one of the best things for your footwork. It's the reason one. You know what else is really good? What? Skipping rope. People don't skip rope. Jumping rope is fantastic. It's like one of the best things for your footwork. It's the reason why boxers do it. Because you've got to think about all that time you're just bouncing on your toes. A lot of times in your boxing, you're flat-footed. Or you're moving, but you're not moving constantly over and over and over again.

But if you have the ability to do that, so if you're skipping rope and you skip rope for 10 minutes, and you're moving your feet back and forth, that's 10 minutes that you're forcing yourself to bounce up and down on your calves and on the ball of your feet because you have to jump over that rope. So when you're doing that, you're energizing those muscles, strengthening those muscles, and then conditioning your body to be able to move like that.

I need to jump rope. See, my problem, Joe, I don't like to jump. Who does? I hate it. But that's the thing. Like, I need to start doing the things that I don't want to do. Yeah. Especially when it comes down to working out.

So I do not jump rope in boxing. And I know that that's a big factor. And I have to get over myself. Jumping rope's a good one. It's a big one. Shadow boxing is another one. Shadow boxing with purpose. Shadow boxing, moving,

pretending a punch is coming your way, getting out of the way of it, landing your own shots, pivoting away, like that. Like picturing someone in front of you. Yeah, that's the creativity too. You have to have imagination for that. I got two pound weights in my office

at SNL and we get to have friends come on Saturdays and my friend came he sort of waits he said man what you doing with this motherfucking two pounds they mind your business nah you punk you full of shit you ain't doing nothing I'm like I shadow box if you if you ought to know yeah with the two pounds just I'll do like if I'm in my office I'll put on a movie or something until it's my time to go down the set and I'll just sit sit in my office and I'll put on a movie or something until it's my time to go down to set, and I'll just sit in my office and I'll shadowbox for I'll go do a round, I'll sit, I'll chill,

I'll do another round, I'll sit, I'll chill. Sometimes I'll do four or five rounds before I go downstairs. Good for you. And it gets your brain fired up, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I also have to be like, sorry if I stink off, I'm sweaty. I've been upstairs moving around. But those endorphins get flowing. If there was a pill that could make you feel like you feel after you work out,

everybody would take it. No side effects. There's a pill. It's called working out. It's just not a pill. But it gives you the effect of the perfect mixture of, like, a relieving of anxiety, a strengthening of all your connections. You feel yourself more.

And if you've got to be, like, physical, like, I love a good workout before a set because, you know, you work out, and then you kind of, like, blow the anxiety out of your system, and you feel yourself more and if you got to be like physical like I love a good workout before a set Because you know you work out and then you kind of like blow the anxiety out of your system. You feel loose Yes, feel good when you get up there. I would do I would do 50 push-ups like right before my set Hmm a couple of jumping jacks. Mmm before my set just kind of just yeah get the blood flow. Yeah. Yeah, Joey Diaz would yell at us. That's it. I had to teach people that Joey's not really mad at you. He's just getting fired up for going on stage. Like, what are you motherfuckers with your phones?

Yeah, you fucking cocksuckers. And Brian Redband was like, why is Joey mad? I'm like, he's just, that's how Joey gets fired up. He'll hug you when he gets off stage. Yeah. Trust me. I like that. Just gotta let him go.

Yeah. We all got our shit. Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I think I'm gonna get in a ring with somebody soon you thinking about it for real i'm thinking i've been punched i'm thinking about so yes my trainer

he teaches me a lot he like if you don't keep your hands up i'm gonna sneak you oh okay so i got hit a couple times and and i know a real punch hurt because he don't even hit me for real he'll just kind of just touch you but it's it's it's brutal yeah so i can't even imagine getting hit but i have been hit but i ain't been hit yeah you don't want to get hit no you got to preserve your brain no well i also know how to stick and fucking move out of there measure measure measure pap out of there i'm swinging out that's the most important thing you know i'm not saying i ain't never gonna get hit but I'm going to get that pap out of there. Measure, measure, measure, pap out of there. I'm swinging out. That's the most important thing.

I'm pivoting out. I'm not saying I ain't never going to get hit, but I know how to get out the way. That's why, for my money, Floyd Mayweather is the best ever because he's the guy that got hit the least. He's a defensive boxer. I like it. He's a wizard. A lot of people don't like it because he is not aggressive in the ring. He's exactly the right amount of aggressive to win. That's what I'm saying.

He ain't coming at you like a fucking train, like Mike Tyson. He's just chilling, chilling, chilling. Pow. Yeah. But I mean, when people say that, they don't understand what the fuck they're talking about. He's defensive. Of course he is.

He's fighting Canelo Alvarez. Of course he is. He's fighting the greatest boxers of all time. Of course he's defensive. You're supposed to be. And he's a little man. Of course he is. He's fighting the greatest boxers of all time. Of course he's defensive. You're supposed to be. And he's a little man. He's not big. I wouldn't want to get hit. You're going to always see. I'm going to be moving.

Man, look, if I'm him, I'm in the best shape of my life. I'm moving around. You ain't never going to be able to catch me in that ring. I'm never going to stand in front of your face. We never going to square up. I'm out of there. The thing that's crazy about Floyd is he does stand right in front of your face. Yeah, he does. He stands right in front of your face and you still gonna square up. I'm out of there. What the thing is crazy about Floyd is he does stand right in front of your face. He stands right in front of your face and you still can't hit him. That's what a wizard he is. He's too slick. Right. Because a lot of people are really good defensive fighters like Willie

Pepp. Everybody always talks about Willie Pepp. And Willie Pepp was amazing. He won a round without even throwing a punch. Won a round just with his defensive prowess. It was so impressive that he won the round. The guy just couldn't touch him. But Willie Pep moved around a lot. He moved around. He was light on his feet. Whereas Floyd will stand right in front of you, and he just scoots just out of the way. And then he's right in front of you again.

He's shoulder rolling. You can't hit him. You watch some of the videos of him when he fought Canelo. It's so impressive. Canelo's just whiffing at the wind. He just can't can't catch him and also you think you can't because he ain't got his gloves on his face right he he yeah he's taunting you though yeah I'm like yo he makes me nervous because I'm like put your hands up

put your fucking hands up he knows what he's doing I mean it's just because he knows how to do it so well that he's luring people in to try to hit him. It looks like openings are there where they're not. And then he counters you. I like to watch Tank fight, too. I can't wait for his next fight. I think it's in April. Well, that's the Ryan Davis fight, right?

Yeah. Ryan Garcia fight, rather. I can't. That's a crazy fight. Yeah. That's an interesting fight. Tank is a monster. Yeah.

He's so different than anybody else because he doesn't throw a lot of punches. No. He, like, measures you else because he doesn't throw a lot of punches. No. He, like, measures you until he finds out where you're open. And then once he finds out where you're open, you're fucked. He just starts launching missiles your way. Yeah, I enjoyed his last fight, too. Yeah, that was crazy. I thought that was going to be a close one, but it wasn't.

It was close for a little bit because Tank fights like that. Like, because he leaves, you know, he doesn't throw a lot of punches. He throws like the least amount of punches like in the early rounds of any of the champions. But then once he figures you out, once he sizes you up, once he finds out where your holes are, gets that timing in, it's like he's got a boxing computer

in his brain. Okay, we got all the data. Now this dude's starting to slow down. Let's start putting it on him. And then he starts putting it on him. Yeah. And also with him, I like his, I like how humble he is as well. He's also like, he like this, I don't know how to describe it. He's like this humble, cocky man. Like he knows that he can fight, but he ain't got to. He's like one of those guys, he ain't got to say it.

Right. You know, like I would watch him in his interviews after the fight. And he ain't saying, yeah, I told that motherfucker I was going. He ain't like that. What's next for you? Well, I got to get back in the gym. I he ain't saying, yeah, I told that motherfucker I was going. He ain't like that. What's next for you? Well, I got to get back in the gym. I got to see all the mistakes I made. I got to clean it up.

You know, I ain't never going to stop learning in this game. He ain't even stunting about making a man go blind in a ring. So it's just like, I just like his swag. He's amazing. And there's like a group of guys that are in his level right now like Shakur Stevenson and this elite level. And we're going to find

out with Ryan Garcia. He's another one. That guy's got the fastest left hook I've ever seen. That's a very interesting fight. I will say I'm nervous about that one for Tank. But like Tank said, he in the lab. I'm pretty sure he figuring it out.

There's Devin Haney. That division is just stacked with talent. Boxing's a good spot right now. It's a fun time to be a fan. Yeah, I like it. I'm really, really, really, really digging it. I'm glad you're doing it. I got to do it, Joe.

I've been wanting to do it for so long. And it's so crazy, too, because I thought that my hook would be. So my trainer basically told me I'm Southpaw. I thought I was a right-handed boxer. He's like, no, you're a left-handed boxer. I was like, you know. Do you write with your left hand? I write with my left hand.

You write with your left hand? I do everything with my left hand. But you fight with your left hand forward or your right hand forward? My right hand forward. Okay. So you fight with your left hand forward or your right hand forward? My right hand forward. Okay. So you fight southpaw. Yes. Yes.

So I thought that my right hand was the strongest. That's what I thought. But my left hand is the strongest. But I got a killer right hook, though, too. But my left hook sucks. But it's all in my balance. He said, but your power is your two right you're straight left yeah yeah so because i was like no no no no i was like my power is is my right hand

he said no it's your left hand so we got in a fight so he was like what he was so he came charging at me and as he was charging at me i did this to him he was like you sawpaw if you would have did this then you would have been right because you were trying to set him up for a big left hand right I stopped him with that he said that is your jab hand that's how I know your power coming coming from you know a lot of fighters they would fight Southpaw even though they were right-handed that was Oscar de la Hoya yeah he's right-handed but he fights out boss so his strong hand will be forward okay okay yeah it's there's different schools of thought on that.

Emanuel Stewart did that with a lot of people. He took guys that were natural right-handed and he put them in a southpaw stance. Also, if you're learning from a southpaw stance, you have an advantage that most people fight orthodox. When you're fighting, when you fight someone who's a

southpaw, it's confusing when you're boxing because everything's backwards. So if you're not used to it, like in the early days of boxing, but then the best guys are guys like Terrence Crawford who could just switch or Boots Ennis who just switch. They just switch. They could fight you southpaw. They could fight you orthodox. You're like, oh, Jesus. You don't know where the fuck punches are coming from.

They're coming from everywhere. Yeah, that's why you got to learn how to stick and move. Get out of there. But back in the day, that was really rare. Like Marvin Hagler was the great at that. He he was like the most famous who was it marvin marvin haggler marvelous marvin haggler yeah he was the middleweight champion he knocked out tommy hearns and i mean haggler in his time was a destroyer and haggler would fight he would switch it up all the time he'd fight orthodox he'd fight southpaw he can go back and forth he would throw a punch and switch

stances. It was a totally, it was very rare in Hagler's day that an elite world champion would switch stances so effortlessly. But now you got, like, Terrence Crawford does it, like I said, Boots Ennis does it. I don't, I don't, I ain't gonna say I can't do it, I'm saying I never have, but I might.

It's a good thing to learn. If you can learn how to do things from your left side, it actually shows you how to do things better from your right side weirdly enough it actually helps you I'm still learning how to write with my right hand I can't even hold this yeah I broke my arm once and I had to do that I had to learn how to write and draw with my left hand I mean I think I can but it's gonna be it's awful you You can, but you have to teach your hand how to do it, which is so interesting. Because you would think if your left hand does it so well, your right hand would just, you would just tell your right hand to do it. But my left hand is stupid. It just doesn't listen good.

My right hand is like. Exactly. I kind of like being left-handed, though. It's like, you know, crazily, when I was growing up, I got bullied for being left-handed. A lot of people do. You know, it's like I know crazily when I was growing up I got bullied for being left handed a lot of people do you know it's like

I was the weird one they used to think it was satanic yeah it's just like they would tell left handed people to not use their left hand back in the day

I now I heard about that but when I was in school they didn't do that to me but the kids would bully me for being left-handed? Yes.

That's so stupid. And for having duck feet. Do you know I look goofy? Because I hate boxing sometimes and watching myself because I'm so goofy. My feet are duck feet. And they splay out? Yes. And I can't get them.

You know, I'm trying to get them to stay straight. But when I, you know, I know what happened. I always had duck feet. But I look so goofy when I'm boxing because I hurt my niece playing soccer when I was in college. I was,

I don't know how to play soccer, but I was, you know, playing and I went to do a power kick and this person blocked me so my body went one way and my leg went the other way

and I messed my knee up. So, I just look goofy when I'm boxing. But, I might use that as an advantage they were like look at this goofy footed bitch then i get in there and i'll whack somebody but i can do it and i love it so you're really thinking about fighting it seems like you're you've got a plan

in your head yeah you're saying you're you're like painting scenarios where people underestimate you and you fuck them up like so in my mind, you're thinking about this. I've been thinking about it for a long time. Really? Mm-hmm. Okay, have one. Please don't have a lot. Don't get your head in a break.

I really want to do celebrity boxing. Who would you want to fight? I don't know. You want to call somebody out? I probably will. I'm going to holler at my dog. Sam J., what's up, bitch? Let's fight.

Do you think, like, how much time would you need to prepare for something like that? A month. That's it? Really? I'm telling you, I'd be out here. You doing a lot? How often are you boxing? a lot how often you if i if i could do if i can just like box six days a week for 24 days you know you're ready to fuck somebody up hell yeah

fucking right i believe you i'll fuck short fingernails no no need to i would like to fight my peers the people that I love now really? why? I don't know why do you want to hurt them? just because it's fun which is you know just like messing around like kids

you know just messing around with my partners and shit but I do be thinking about starting beef with people just to like just to fuck them up?

yeah really? yeah don't do that yeah especially now that you're on TV look I see man look

I be watching Clarissa Fields I'm like that's a big fucking Clarissa Shield see man look I be watching Clarissa Fields I'm like that's a big Clarissa Shields what'd I say Clarissa Fields so Mikey Davey making fun of me because I get everybody

named wrong that's Joey Diaz's move this is entire videos of him saying people's names and I say it with confidence too of course

that's what Joey does too he calls Stipe Miocic Stiopic he calls him Steopic. He called Khabib Nurmagomedov. He used to call him Kalabeeb. Yeah.

The fucking Kalabeeb gets a hold of you. Yeah. The Kalabeeb. Yeah, Kalabeeb. Kalabeeb. Yeah. Yeah, I do have a name problem. I'm going to get it together.

But that's a big, she big. Her, I wouldn't want to fight her. You ever heard of Ann Wolfe? Oh, is that, like, ain't she old now? Yes. Ann Wolf, she used to be a trainer. She was training people after she fought. And what's his name?

James Kirk. The guy, he fought Canelo. Yeah, yeah. She's a psycho. Yeah, I wouldn't want to fight her. She had the most vicious one- Right here. Right there.

Boom. One of the most vicious one-punch KO in women's boxing. Look at that. And she did a little dance after us. That was, I mean, they had talked a gang of shit before that fight. And unfortunately, she talked a gang of shit to the wrong lady. Because, you know, Ann Wolf had like legit one-punch KO power. James Kirkland, that's who it was.

And who eventually went on To fight Canelo But watch this Look at them arms Oh my god But it's also the skill She's setting up This overhand right Looking at it

Day and the eyes Mm-hmm Measure Measure Mm-hmm And then she comes forward Too predictably Boom

Slip Oh my goodness Knockout I mean it's like One of the greatest One punch KOs Of all time Phenomenal I mean, it's like one of the greatest one-punch KOs of all time. Phenomenal.

I mean, that's an amazing punch. Look how jacked she was, too. But that's one thing. I don't want to get too jacked. Because my problem is I start doing too much arm work, I'll get jacked. Yeah? Yeah. Good.

Jacked. Hard jacked. That's why I keep my hair. Because if I cut it all off, I'm going to look like a man. I was like, I don't want to be, I don't want to look, I had to chill out for a second because I don't want to get that jacked. I still want to be a little cute. Well, that's world championship jacked. Yeah.

That's a different thing. I mean, that's like months and months of training camp. Jesus. Yeah. And Wolf. Yeah. I watched, I watched her a lot. And she was one of the rare female boxers that had so many guys respect that she was training men. Mm-hmm.

A lot of men. Yeah. I mean, the men that were willing to do her routine. But the thing is, Kirkland, I don't think he wanted to do what she wanted him to do, and they split up. Yeah. And then he went up losing to Canelo, but she would drive. and they split up. Yeah.

And then he went up losing to Canelo, but she would drive. See if you can find Ann Wolfe strength and conditioning James Kirkland. I got to get to LA. Because there was like these strength and training routines that she would put fighters through.

Like they did not want to do what she wanted to do. She would break you. Like her camps were notoriously brutal. Good. Yeah, well that's how you become a champion. Yeah. That was it.

She had a no tolerance for bullshit policy when it came to training. I want to dab this lady, Coach Cam, out in Los Angeles. I want to go train with her. She's trained in James Kirkland. Whoa, terrible sound. So Kirkland at one point in time was a top flight professional and she was his trainer wow yeah Kirkland was a beast but he's you know he he was like the recipient of one of Canelo's most impressive KOs yeah and that was the camp that oh yeah that he didn't work with uh Annfe. It was just brutal.

It was a brutal KO but it was also Canelo. I mean Canelo was one of the greatest of all time. I was upset he lost his last fight. Against Demetri Bevol? Well he won his last fight in his Triple G but the Bevol fight, Bevol's another weight class. I mean Canelo's a psycho. Just the fact that he decided

to go up to 175 and fight the best at 175. Fight one of the champions. Yeah, that's a crazy fight. They're doing a rematch. I think that's taking place in April. Is that what it is? The Canelo rematch? That'd be good.

Yeah. I can't wait for that one. Is that what it is? They should do that in Cinco de Mayo. Let's go. Mexicans fighting in Cinco de Mayo. Let's go. Hey. Mexicans fighting in Cinco de Mayo? Oh, yeah. That's better.

Put a lot of security out that day. It's going down. Especially if he loses. Oh, yeah. I don't think he's going to lose this one. You don't think so? I don't think so. Come.

Did it say September? Yeah. November announcement says in September. That's interesting. That's interesting. That's interesting that they announced it in November, but I'm just hearing about it now. I know, it could be just... Maybe there was negotiations that fell through.

But I think Canelo had to get surgery on his wrist. That's probably why it was put off so long. He tore something in his wrist in the Triple G fight, maybe even in camp. Yeah, there's more updated, but it doesn't, I don't know. December article says maybe in May. Cinco de Mayo. One of my favorite times of the year.

Yeah? Yeah. You a fan of tequila? Yes. I call it my medicine. I got a cold this is Ron White's tequila I love my Ron White

it's all iced up yeah Ron's out here all the time I gotta I gotta hit tequila up especially Casadouris Reposada I gotta hit them up I love y'all all I drink is y'all.

Y'all need to hook a girl up. Because I already have my little slogan and everything for them. Oh, you have a slogan? They have their agenda. I have my tequila. All is right with the world. Ooh. Well, I'm glad you documented on this show so they can't snatch that.

Don't let them steal that. That's good. They have their agenda. I have my tequila. All is right with the world. All is fucking right. That's a good commercial. Don't let them steal that. There you go. That's good. Right? They have their agenda. I have my tequila. All is right with the world. All is fucking right. That's a good commercial. I'm trying to tell you. That's not bad at all.

That's pretty good. I just want to whisper that one. The quesadillas reposado. That's my shit. But it's good. I like some Añejo. I don't really like too much dark uh stuff like whiskey um the only reason why not taste wise because I love to sip me a good whiskey a good

cognac but I get a little crazy you're crazy on whiskey on the brown yeah really interesting yeah just a little weird. I always wonder if there's any science to that. Because people do believe that. Well, if I drink vodka, I'm kind of, I could get a little mean. Tequila, I'm chilling all night. Okay. Russians.

Russians, vodka, mean. Yeah. Whiskey. Tequila, Mexicans. Same thing, fun. Siesta. Yep. Kickback.

Whiskey. I'll go home and start acting crazy. Wild West. Whiskey. When I think of whiskey, Iesta. Yep. Kickback. Whiskey. I'll go home and start acting crazy. Wild West. Whiskey. When I think of whiskey, I think Wild West. I think shootouts. Clint Eastwood movies. Corks.

Pulling off the bottle of whiskey with a cork. Gin make me emotional. Emotional? I'll go back down memory lane so hard on gin. Really? Where's gin originate from? Is that like European? What's gin?

I think I've had gin like twice in my life. Can't drink gin. I just, for whatever reason, gin and tonic seems like something I would drink before I die. Like when I'm ready to cash it in. I'll have a gin and tonic. You know, I'd be like playing bridge with my neighbor.

It's like, oh no. It's like, oh no. The Middle Ages. In Europe? Yep. There you go. So it's European, but back in the suffering days when everybody had syphilis. There we go. So there is a science to it. I wonder. Well, you know, some people believe that psychedelics in particular

that every time you engage in it, you're not just engaging in this one individual experience, but you're sharing the experiences of everyone who's ever done those psychedelics. Right. Which is really a wild way of thinking about it. Because if that is the case, that maybe applies to alcohol as well. And if it does apply to alcohol and that this thing that you're drinking, you're not just drinking tequila,

But this thing that you're drinking, you're not just drinking tequila, but you're also tapping into like a well of experiences that other people who drank tequila have had or vodka or whiskey, which would make sense with why people get wild with whiskey. If you think about all the Kentucky bourbon that was made in this country where people were fucking shooting Indians and just train robberies, fucking shooting buffaloes. and just train robberies and fucking shooting buffaloes. I mean, whiskey has probably had some of the most violent, fucked up experiences in this country attached to it. Yeah. In the early days of this country.

Fuck. Yeah, I got it, yeah. And that's why moonshine is the crazy. Dude, I, and I see moonshine. You're gonna wake up in the middle of a shootout with the cops. I am a fucking sociopath on fucking moonshine. I had to stop drinking moonshine. You're going to wake up in the middle of a shootout with the cops. I am a fucking sociopath on fucking moonshine. I had to stop drinking moonshine.

I'm divorced now, but I almost lost my wife when I was married when I was drinking moonshine. I don't know why. I would just get fucking naked in public. What if that's it? What if that really is it? What if when you take in a substance, you're not just taking in that substance, but you're taking in the body of all the other people that have had that experience on that substance and you're sharing some weird vibe crazy way of looking at it i i know i i mean i'm considering that it can be effective i'm thinking about it now for the first time i've thought about

it before with with mushrooms and i've thought about it before with psychedelics i think there might be something to that. Because psychedelics are so weird. Like, when you're doing them, like, maybe that is part of what's going on here. Maybe, like, everyone who's ever had this experience, like, leaves something in there. You experience something with them. I do want to try ayahuasca. I'm scared of it.

I'm very, very—I don't like when I can't control what I'm doing. And I feel like that's something that you can't control because I've heard people that's done it. And afterwards, they love it. But while they're dealing with it and going through it, they can't control what's happening to them. No, you can't control the trip. No. You can't control DMT. You can't control mushrooms either.

And when you try to, that's when you have the bad trips. You can't control mushrooms either. And when you try to, that's when you have the bad trips. I want to do it so much because I feel like just when you cross over to the other side of that, it's just this inner peace that you have within yourself that I think it might be worth it to do it. What if you do it and you don't want to box anymore? It's all about love to punky no first of all

no peace and love no I do no I don't want if that's the case I ain't never doing that shit

cause I I gotta knock somebody the fuck out you know but I just oh man

I'm scared Joe you ever done it I've not done ayahuasca I've only done DMT but I'm scheduled to you ever done it? I've not done ayahuasca I've only done DMT but I'm scheduled to do it really? yeah soon?

are you gonna film it? no somebody asked me to do something like that with mushrooms I'm like that's not a thing you should do

well for yourself cause I don't want to see me trip but you don't even want to know a camera's there you don't want to be thinking about any other thing you Oh, yeah, true that.

You want to get the most out of the experience, at least me personally. And I feel like if you're filming it, you're going to be aware that there's cameras. There's an element. Part of psychedelics that's very important is set and setting. Some people think that whenever you take certain psychedelics, like sacred psychedelics, like psilocybin, for instance, like you should have a very peaceful setting and you should set it up correctly and you should also get your mind into a good place before you do it.

Maybe do some yoga, don't eat anything, get your mind right, calm yourself down, maybe meditate and prepare yourself. Correct. You're going for a wild ride. You got to be ready to just relinquish control of the reins. Maybe I'll try mushrooms again. I did mushrooms once. I was like, no, I'm not doing it.

What happened? I couldn't see color. Everything was one color. And it didn't matter what I did to my eyes. everything was one color and I could it didn't matter what I did to my eyes it didn't matter how much I blinked them how long I kept them closed and opened them what color was it?

how long I slapped red how long I slapped my face so you were seeing red yeah literally seeing red yes it was like a screen so instead of black and white

it was like black and red? yes yes so you could see objects? I saw everything, but everything was red. Whoa. And I'm just like, nah, I'm good. How long did that last?

A couple hours. It was a couple hours. What else happened? It wasn't like 24 hours. Right. But it was just a couple hours. That's why I don't ever want to try acid because I heard that that's like a 24-hour trip. Supposedly it can be. Yeah. I don't ever want to try acid because I heard that that's like a 24-hour trip. Supposedly can be.

Yeah. I don't want to. I'm never talking to. No. Yeah. I've heard stories of people thinking they're drowning. I'm like, fuck that. Because if you think you're drowning, motherfucker, you're drowning.

I ain't doing that. So, nah. Mm-mm. I just don't ever want to be in a position to where like I saw this movie and this guy like controlled. Like if you cross this guy the wrong way, I think it was called hypnotism or something. If you cross this guy the wrong way, he would he would hypnotize you and make you think that you are in a stressful situation and you could die. Like this one woman woman the walls were closing in on her she she was rude to him i made him mad and the walls were closing in on her

in her mind but they weren't and she fucking had a heart attack and died and i feel like sometimes a drug can do that to you and i'm not trying to go out like that fuck that i think if you are definitely if you have a tendency towards anxiety and paranoia and and you freak out like as you're sober that yeah that's probably not a good thing for you no i do have anxiety but it ain't that crazy but the acid i think i will freak out like that that's why i think ayahuasca is what i should do okay because i feel like try the mushrooms again maybe you got a bad batch i think so right where'd you get them from? Don't say it. Oh, no.

That bitch will kill me. But I was also very, very young, too. I was in my teens. So, it was about 20 years ago. Yeah. It's amazing how many people do mushrooms and don't talk about it. I've had so many people hit me up that, you know,

you go, really? Okay. You do them. Wild. You know, fucking Jordan Peterson did eight grams.

Talked about it. Eight? Eight grams. Yeah. Of mushrooms? Yeah. In one sitting? Yeah.

All stretched out all day. Yeah, he talked about it. Jesus. What a profound experience it was. Yeah. The idea he talked about it. Jesus. What a profound experience it was. Yeah. The idea is the heroic dose.

The big one. Okay. All right. Yeah. A profound experience. Yeah. He didn't just see red. How many?

What did you take? Like a little bit? I don't remember. I was in, I, it was like a peer pressure situation. I was very, very young. It was like an in crowd type. I wasn't, you know, my own person at the time. And I just fell into the pressure and I took the shit and I was already paranoid.

So the problem is all that shit is not regulated. Like you don't know where the fuck it's from. You know, it's with everything that's illegal. That's the number one problem with it besides overdoses with overdoses are also connected to that is that no one knows what's in it no one knows what it is where you got it you're just getting it from a guy who got it from someone else you don't know the supply chain you don't know who's growing it like yeah yeah i i don't know nothing about the legality legalities of mushrooms. They're very illegal. I had no fucking clue.

I've never heard anybody getting arrested for having mushrooms ever in my life. Well, most people don't, honestly. And if they do, it's like a large number of them they're trying to distribute. But they're used therapeutically. Like John Hopkins University did a study on them therapeutically. They're talking about using them for veterans with PTSD and other people with PTSD therapeutically.

I think I can understand that. Yeah. People that at the last stages of their life, it helps alleviate the tension of worrying that you're going to die. Okay. Yeah. There's a lot of benefits that people are showing with psychedelic therapy. And there's a company called MAPS that's exploring a lot of those and particularly MDMA. They use MDMA for a lot of people with post-traumatic stress disorder. I was MDMA. I was with a friend of mine in Oklahoma. I'll tell you who it is after.

And he it was like, you know, of course, everybody's all stressed out. It's like after COVID, I'm driving out the country. I mean, across the country to get to New Orleans. I stopped in Oklahoma with one of my friends and the whole time he's like, I need MDMA. And I don't know too much about it. I'm like, what the fuck is MDMA? He's like, I need it. I got to find it. So we go out.

OK, Oklahoma didn't give a fuck about COVID. OK, that's two months after COVID hit. We go out to this blazing hot nightclub. I mean, it is lit. OK, no mask, no vaccine was even thought of at the time. People don't give a fuck. OK, we happy. We all out with the people. You i'm like fuck it we sick now shit i'm just gonna call it we got covid fuck it we here this motherfucker disappears okay he's gone i call my homeboy i'm

like we can't find let's call him brian we can't find brian um so we all go outside we're looking for brian brian ain't nowhere to be found. We roll around the block. We come. Oh my God, we can't find Brian. Finally, we find Brian in this parking lot buying MDMA from these like, it's like six black dudes with tattoos all in his face.

And mind you, the way he looked, he did not belong over there with those black guys. And he's, the black guy, I walk up to him. I'm like, Brian, what are you doing? He's like, MDMA. And the black looked, he did not belong over there with those black guys. And the black guy, I walk up to him. I'm like, Brian, what are you doing? He's like, MDMA. And the black guy, he looks at me. He was like, he gave him the drugs.

He's like, hurry up and get this motherfucker away from me. I was like, okay. Jesus Christ. So we get him away from him. And we go to my Jeep. And then my friend, he's talking shit to these black dudes, calling them all kinds of blah, blah, blah. Oh, no, no, no. And I'm like, what are you doing? Shut the fuck up.

You're going to get us killed. And the dudes came over and he was like, you're lucky y'all came out here to get him. Because if he would have said one more fucking thing, we would have whipped his ass. And he looked up and said, one more fucking thing. Next thing I know. Oh, no. These dudes, next thing I know, his ass got knocked the fuck out. I mean, I'm talking about knocked out to his nose in the ground.

Look like he's planking, right? These dudes that attacked him, I'm telling you, they was raised by their grandmother or someone sweet because they could have attacked us too. They just got his ass. They was like, y'all ain't do nothing. We just going to beat his ass. So we trying to pick him up, but we gave him a worse concussion because that dead weight was so heavy.

We pick him up, pow, pow, pow, pow. He bust all his face open again. So finally we get some help. We put him in a Jeep and after about 20 minutes, he wakes up. He wakes up. He wakes up. I had all my clothes in the back.

I got like my underwear wrapped around his bloody face. Oh, no. He's like, what is this? What is this? We like you stupid motherfucker. You got knocked out. You dumb bitch. You could have got us killed. And he said, who got knocked out?

I got knocked out. Oh, no. We like, you know, you got knocked the fuck out. If you don't remember Being knocked the fuck out Yeah It was M

I'm like MDMA It must have was worth it Probably not Probably that could have Been avoided Oh no He still had the

The fucking pills in him Death clutch Buys alcohol That motherfucker Ain't dropping out of one Oh god I'm like Alright Let's end this podcast So I can find out of one. Oh, God. I'm like,

all right. Let's end this podcast so I can find out who that is. Oh, not a problem. You're going to fucking die laughing, man. I appreciate you very much and it's beautiful

to see you succeed. I'm very, very happy for you. I think it's awesome. I appreciate it. This is one thing I could cross off my bucket list. This was a dream come true being on the show.

Thank you for that. My friend, congratulations. Yes, sir. Thank you very much. Bye, everybody. Bye.