The Joe Rogan Experience - #1944 - Ryan Long

Episode Date: February 21, 2023

Ryan Long is a stand-up comic, filmmaker, and host of "The Boyscast" podcast. www.ryanlongcomedy.com ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day I hold the record for What do you hold the record for? Longest bottle reused in my podcast Of water? Two years I had the same bottle No
Starting point is 00:00:22 Yeah, the guy I did the podcast with was like The amount of carcinogenics must be running through your body. So were you just adding water to it all the time? Yeah, yeah. Every day I would come in. I'm the ultimate environmentalist, really. I don't know if that's bad for you. I think what's bad for you is just drinking on a plastic period. Like if your bottle is sitting there filled with water for months and months on a shelf, wouldn't that leach more plastic in it than water that you just pour in there?
Starting point is 00:00:51 Yeah, I think so. Yeah, it would seem to me that like the real fear would be, I think, correct me if I'm wrong because I'm definitely wrong. Propaganda. I think the real fear is the heat. I think when you like have plastic that are sitting outside in the sun. Yeah, I leave them in the sun. That's an issue. I like them to marinate. That's when you get all the phthalates and your dick shrinks.
Starting point is 00:01:16 That's what's happening to people, you know. Oh, yeah, sorry. Are we starting? Yeah, we're already starting. Okay, we're starting. Did you see, well, I just read this. The dicks have enlarged in the last. I know.
Starting point is 00:01:28 I thought dicks were shrinking. I just saw a new study. Yeah. And it's a problem. Mine said it might be a problem. That was what was hilarious. Dicks are getting bigger and this could be a real issue. Like, how? Sure.
Starting point is 00:01:38 How? Rulers got smaller. Rulers got smaller. People just started lying. That is the South Park episode where they go, yeah, we just changed the measurements. We went down to, we just started measuring. How did they get smaller? We started measuring in millimeters.
Starting point is 00:01:51 Bro, when I was a kid, they tried to put us on the metric system, which is a far more efficient system. I agree. A system of tens. Stanford scope. An increase in penile length cause for concern? What fucking, what are you concerned about? It's cause for concern for the ladies, you know?
Starting point is 00:02:04 Yeah, what are you concerned about? Ladies are cause for concern for the ladies, you know? Yeah, what are you concerned about? Ladies are walking funny to work every day. A rec penile length is getting longer from an average of 4.8 inches. Go to that. What does it say there? Oh, that was the best article. Here's why this is actually a problem. It's a problem.
Starting point is 00:02:19 No, this was, I think this was originally a Vice article. This one, this is from a couple years ago, and it was a guy writing how actually small dicks are kind of better if you think about it. Oh, sure, buddy. No women are writing that article. It's so sad. The penis size is so sad. There's not a damn thing they could do about it.
Starting point is 00:02:38 They can put a man on the moon. They can't make your dick bigger. They have not. They do the enlargement, but it doesn't work all that great. There was a guy, I actually used to do a bit about it, there was a guy his name's Ahud Laniandro, and he got the best dick enlargement money he could buy, because he's like a
Starting point is 00:02:53 billionaire dude, right? And then he died during the thing. Died during the enlargement. Oh, he probably died from the anesthesia, right? I wonder. Yeah, man, getting put under's no joke. Getting put under's, you know, it's, they're very, very anesthesia, right? I wonder. Yeah, man, getting put under is no joke. Getting put under is, you know, they're very, very, very, very good at it now.
Starting point is 00:03:12 But it still carries some risks. Or, yeah, in the dick, they made him such a good dick, the doctor was like, I can't let this. He had to poison him in case his wife saw that dick. No one can, yeah, I can't let this be a Frankenstein situation. It is my masterpiece. I can't allow this. Walking the earth just punishing women.
Starting point is 00:03:30 That would be the number one industry in the country if there was an actual dick enlargement product. They just nailed it. It would be bigger than Apple. In like a week. I mean, Viagra, it's like the amount of people that take that recreationally is very crazy.
Starting point is 00:03:48 It's probably their most profitable thing other than vaccines, right? For Pfizer? That's a good question. It's a good question. Well, imagine vaccines would be Viagra if the government was like, you have to take it. Also, we're paying for it. Imagine if the government just said, listen, more people have to fuck because we need more people.
Starting point is 00:04:07 We have to compete with China. Yeah. And so Viagra is mandatory. So everyone just has wood. Everywhere you go at every bar. Everywhere you go, dudes just have raging hard-ons that are mandated by the government.
Starting point is 00:04:20 Mandated by the government, paid for by the government. And yeah, your chick's like, why are you always hard? And you're like, talk to Biden. You think I want this? Kamala Harris, she has an issue. She wants us to do this.
Starting point is 00:04:32 This is her issue she's pushing. That's the socialized boners. It's not socialized medicine for anything but boners. Well, there are people that do believe that more people are supposed to be having children. Because there's people like Elon, who's far smarter than me who thinks that we have a uh there's an issue with a possible population collapse like not enough people are having kids and even though there's a lot of people alive right now the numbers of people having kids are dropping off and that if you that keeps going there's like a trend that that happens with if it doesn't correct itself, it could be a real issue.
Starting point is 00:05:07 There's a lot of people that kind of take the opinion on that too, where you go, not only is it a problem, it's already too far to fix. There's a lot of people that are like, there's not even really a way out of this. Oh, Jesus Christ, Ryan. You're scaring the shit out of me. Well, I think the way out is probably you know technology and stuff like that right but yeah probably if you look at uh the birth rates they're they're i guess you know certain countries you can take more immigrants and stuff like that but yeah there is not uh well we're taking a lot of immigrants yeah you know it's really fascinating
Starting point is 00:05:40 the the immigrant thing is fascinating because uh you know, my grandparents were immigrants. So like watching immigrants come into this country from south of the border. I mean, I am personally an immigrant. Are you really? Yeah. Where were you born? Toronto, Canada. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:55 That doesn't count. I mean, you guys are our cousins. You're in the family. You know what? When I tried to move here, I said to that, I would go, come on, really? Is it? But it is. You got to get the green card. You got gotta do the whole thing. There's a certain
Starting point is 00:06:06 amount a year. They have rules about it. Yeah, but if you just come in through the border, you're good. Just walk in. Just fly to Mexico and walk in. I just point to my face. I go, I'm white. Can we? They just let you in. I'm telling you. They don't even care if you're vaccinated. I go, cut the shit, bro. You know, you can't fly into the United States still unless you're vaccinated.
Starting point is 00:06:22 From Canada? From other countries. Oh, from other countries. I think, isn't that true? I think that's still true, but you can just kind of walk in. Like there's a lot of people just kind of walking in. Like there's too many people coming across from certain countries. You have to get visas for it. Like you can't just, cause I remember, you know, my friend who lived in Canada, people were going to Mexico or somewhere or the U S and he was like, yeah, I can't go there. And we're like, well, we're just going on like vacation.
Starting point is 00:06:47 We're going to go party in like, you know, Nashville or whatever. And he's like, yeah, I can't. You can do that. Like, I can't do that. He's from India. He can't just go to America. Yeah. You have to be vaccinated and you have to have some sort of paperwork, right?
Starting point is 00:06:59 Yeah. You got to get a visa. You have to get a visa to visit. A visiting visa, essentially. Isn't that wild? No, it no it's yeah it is kind of wild we don't even think about that we don't you know we have it so goddamn good here we really do as nutty as people are and the the crazy gender war talk that's going on right now with uh it seems like there's like such a fascination with
Starting point is 00:07:26 gender now like yeah to the point where it's like what what what is like douglas murray talked about this on the podcast he was saying that this happens in every civilization before it collapses people become obsessed with gender for some reason and then it's also as a comedian you know gender for some reason and then it's also as a comedian you know especially like the trans issue or whatever right you know it's like how do you not address that when it becomes the number one this is the number one everyone's talking about it non-stop and then they're kind of like oh look at all these guys talking about this and you're like how do you not it's like an elephant in the room at that point yeah it there's it's an ideology that's being enforced that you're not allowed to talk about something that may or may not be crazy and i'm not talking about all trans people i'm just
Starting point is 00:08:09 talking about the possibility of crazy people being in any group is a hundred percent the possibility of crazy people that are captains of yachts of course crazy dentists crazy everything sure but so you have to leave room for crazy when it comes to trans people, too. And right now they don't. They're not leaving room for crazy. This is why you have this guy up in Canada with the giant rubber tits. I love him. With the shoulder straps.
Starting point is 00:08:35 The goat. It's amazing. Do you see, I don't know if you saw the picture, he looks like Tim Dillon when he has the tits up. I think he's running a con. Yeah, he may be running a con. I mean, this is just my opinion. But it seems like he dresses up like a man during the day, which, of course, it's a con. I mean, the whole thing is so funny.
Starting point is 00:08:52 Where I know it's titties all day long would be nuts. Bro, it's nuts that you can do that. It's nuts that you could do that. He's a shop teacher as well. This is where I'm saying, like, you have to leave room for crazy in everything. You've got to leave room for crazy. And if you don't leave room for crazy, then we're in a cult. Okay, now we're in a cult.
Starting point is 00:09:11 Do you know how in Russia, Putin will play hockey games and everyone lets him win? They let him do judo, too. Yeah, they let him do it. It's kind of Steven Seagal style. He's 900 pounds and he just does demonstrations. No, he's actually legit with Well, you know, he's 900 pounds. He's just these demonstrations. No, he's actually legit with judo. I know he's really legit. Akito, right?
Starting point is 00:09:29 No, no, no, no, no. Judo. Is he judo? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he's a black belt. He's an actual black belt. Putin is a legitimate black belt. Like when you watch him throw people around.
Starting point is 00:09:39 Watch video of it. Pull up Putin does judo. But the hockey. One hundred percent he's legit. So he's the. Okay, so he's legit that? Yeah. I actually didn't know that part. He used to be a KGB guy. But the hockey, he plays against
Starting point is 00:09:52 like, you know, high level professional hockey players. Oh, they kind of let him? They let him do hockey? Let him. He gets 11 points against... But I feel like sometimes the trend stuff's that where everyone just kind of... Right. It is. It is the same thing because everyone's scared.
Starting point is 00:10:12 But when you watch him do judo, like 100%, that's real skill. Like 100%. Like he definitely knows his shit. Like if I saw that guy teaching at a judo academy somewhere, he's a black belt and he was an instructor, I would say yes. Legitimate. Nice. Yeah. Putin really knows judo.
Starting point is 00:10:25 What about Seagal? What do you think of Seagal? He really is really good at Aikido. I would say yes, legitimate. Nice. Yeah, Putin really knows judo. What about Seagal? What do you think of Seagal? He really is really good at Aikido. He was the GOAT, right? No, but he was very talented. If you just watch his fluidity and his technique in Aikido, if you go back to the early days when he was running a dojo in Japan,
Starting point is 00:10:46 and I think he was legitimately the first American to run an Aikido dojo in Japan. No bullshit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was, I think he was married to the daughter of one of the main senseis or somebody. So he was like deep in the culture and he was really good at Aikido. But Aikido is a martial art that was developed to disarm people with swords. So when someone's coming at you with a sword, you don't have a sword. You're disarming them. The idea is to try to use their momentum against them. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of a reactive martial art.
Starting point is 00:11:17 And it's like it's using your momentum and then using leverage and using technique. But it's not like offensive. And what he did in the movies is he made it offensive. If you go to Above the Law, Above the Law is a fucking great movie. He turned it into a tool to get tons of pussy. This is him when he's older. This is Durag Seagal.
Starting point is 00:11:37 Durag Seagal is the best Seagal. Durag Seagal is not the best Seagal. You want to go to black and white film Seagal. Because you got to realize, above the law, go to old Steven Seagal you want to go to black and white film Seagal because you got to realize like above the law go to a old Steven Seagal footage above the law was in Jamie hell yeah bro I'm telling you ass listen the guy you you can say whatever you want about the guy now but I am just telling I love him yeah this is listen fuck all this go to old Steven Seagal footage. Because this is a lot of like, he's basically in a movie now, right?
Starting point is 00:12:11 Yeah. That's like, he's in a movie. Those guys aren't really resisting. And one that he's written as well. No, no, no. I'm sorry. Old Steven Seagal Aikido footage. There's like legitimate footage of him in the dojo.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Just doing work. Yeah. Like when you see like his ability to dojo. Just doing work. Yeah. Like when you see like his, uh, his ability to throw people, there you go. He had the big feud with John. Go to the top one.
Starting point is 00:12:32 The top one's legit. I've seen this top one. So it's a lot of the movements and stuff like very fluid, very fluid. It's just not that effective a martial art in, in real practice. Like in real practice, a wrestler is going to take a Aikido guy down like 100% of the time. Yeah, no Aikido guy's ever won one of the big competitions, really.
Starting point is 00:12:57 I mean, you could have a guy who starts out in Aikido for some strange reason and is just extraordinary physically talented. Like if Jon Jones got in Aikido, he still reason. He's just extraordinarily physically talented. Like if Jon Jones got into Aikido, he still would fuck people up in the UFC. There's certain people that are extraordinarily talented. They're training at the wrong place. That does happen. Perhaps a trans Aikido fighter. But Aikido
Starting point is 00:13:18 is just not the way to go. It's a beautiful martial art. It's a beautiful thing to learn. It is a really effective tool. If you know A aikido and a guy has like a bat he's coming at you it's actually a very important thing to know like some of the principles involved in in avoiding like these strikes like you can apply those in a real situation but it's just like not the it's just not the martial art that you would say like is like on its own what's really good for for fighting you wouldn't say aikido i feel like the reason why even guys like him aside
Starting point is 00:13:53 from that were so great was it like that they believed it a little you know when you see kind of you know jason like jason momoa right now as an action star he doesn't think he's that guy you know whereas like you know kind of even john clove and damn like it was it was getting a little wishy-washy what was the movie what was them you know yes yes well i think the audience capture like that and especially then you're talking about like the 80s and the 90s where your connection to the audience is like so ethereal it's so like it's mystical like why do they like me
Starting point is 00:14:30 where are these people you don't have any tweets about you you're not getting any comments on YouTube you're just like trying to figure out if people like you and you're just doing karate movies yeah it is very easy to be like a god back in those days it's kind of like more how music is I always say that even if you look at, you know, kind of activist stuff.
Starting point is 00:14:51 He's doing splits on the top of a building. Oh, that's Jean-Claude. His split move is the move. Bro, he's doing splits on the top of a fucking giant pillar overlooking the city. I'd be scared to sit there. 90% of Jean-Claude Van Damme was his splits. First of all, he's a beautiful man. He's the best. He's a beautiful man. I mean, his body is flawless. So he's over there, flawless body, doing splits.
Starting point is 00:15:18 More than splits, too. It's like- Look at him. He can do splits on two chairs where he puts one heel on each chair And he like suspends his body. That's nuts. Oh my god. That's really hard to do men So remember the video I think it was CGI it had to be CGI where they did it in between the two trucks That's CGI Both it has to be I think he really can do that with his legs still. He really can do a split.
Starting point is 00:15:47 I don't think they were moving, though, yeah. But they're not going to do that in between. He trucks it! He goes under the truck! And they lose Jean-Claude Van Damme in a fucking horrific semi-accident where his body gets turned into meat. I think he's doing some wild stuff right now. Is he?
Starting point is 00:16:02 Oh, on the internet? Yeah. Well, he did a web series, and then he had some porn star girlfriend. He was posting photos of him just in a hot tub, just rocking out. Damn. Yeah, it was kind of cool. But I was kind of even saying that the same way that it used to be more mystical with the action stars back then, like you were saying, it kind of reminds me of why I feel like activist messages work better with
Starting point is 00:16:28 musicians than like, you know, podcasters or comedians. Cause it's sort of like with musicians, like the, you know, save the children, whatever you want to say,
Starting point is 00:16:37 you know, very like, we got to feed those kids. And then, but you don't have to really answer anything more than that. Right. And then it's kind of like with, with,
Starting point is 00:16:44 uh, or you could say something in between songs. Yeah. You really answer anything more than that. Right. And then it's kind of like with, with, uh. Or you could say something in between songs. Yeah. You could get into one comment in. Yeah. But then after it becomes like. By the way, fuck the Supreme Court. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Yeah. 100%. Woo, woo, woo, woo. And Biden needs codified Roe v. Wade. Yeah. And if you think women should be in the kitchen, you can leave this concert right now. Right. But if you said that here, you'd be like, well, what do you mean by that?
Starting point is 00:17:09 Lecturing dudes are sus. They're super sus. When dudes lecture other dudes, I'm like, damn, you're sus. Those are closet creeps a lot of the time. That area where when things got real wild in 2016, the dudes that became the big lecturers were the... Because the girls, you kind of got it a little more. There's a few of them that I know that are like, what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:17:34 What are you doing? What's that about? Did you ever... Yeah, I mean, you've had... Imagine it working. Imagine you say, you know, respect women, and all of a sudden the guy reads that tweet and is like, oh, yeah, why not? Shit, I should.
Starting point is 00:17:47 Jesus, dude. I should respect women. Oh, my God. I mean, thank God you wrote that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I just, you know. Changed my entire opinion of the way I think of everything at 34. Yeah, I just didn't even think there were people until I saw your tweet.
Starting point is 00:18:00 What the fuck is, what the fuck are you doing? Believe all women Believe everyone How about that Believe all the people all the time Believe everybody no one's lying Do you think that Right now I think your Average dude that was like that
Starting point is 00:18:20 Has sort of felt a little embarrassed The same way that your Average dude that was all in on covid like yeah day after i remember when when covid happened i was kind of filming stuff and i had a few buddies that like messaged me being like do this kind of irresponsible that you're like filming or whatever and i guys that i that are cool and i was kind of like i think you're gonna be embarrassed that you sent me this years later yep yeah they were but i think that you know some dudes that were like all in on yeah you know some people have a heightened level of anxiety and it's not even their fault it's like where you are maybe you're at a one or two some people are at a fucking six
Starting point is 00:19:02 all the time yes something like covid comes along and it just rattles them to like a nine whereas you stay at a six yeah you know you're like where they would be normally like wow this fucking world's fucked now that would be them normally yeah and then covid comes along and they go wow some people just thought the way we all felt about it in the beginning. Everybody in the beginning was scared. I remember those days. Everybody in the beginning was like, whoa, this is weird. Yeah, no one was. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:32 Right. At the very least, you're like. Everybody was worried because they shut the whole country down. Everybody was worried. We're hearing the stories. What's going on here? Ventilators. Running out of ventilators.
Starting point is 00:19:41 We were all scared. Yeah. I was robbing people's houses. But in 2023, I see people driving with masks on. I saw a guy drive with a mask on. That guy's not coming back. Driving? Driving with a mask on.
Starting point is 00:19:53 The plane's full of them, and they've got the full, you know, the Bane mask, the whole deal. Some people are not coming back. They're not coming back. Yeah. We broke them. There's a couple of comics. Not we, but life. No, no, society. The thing. The thing that we just went we broke them. There's a couple of the not we but like no society the thing the thing that we just went through
Starting point is 00:20:07 Broke them three years is enough to break someone to fuck three years is enough to break a strong person Yeah, like when you're wrong person Well, don't these like imagine you were going to jail and you go solitary confinement and they put you in solitary confinement for three years Like how many isn't there a pretty good percentage of people that lose their mind in that scenario? How do you do that to a person? Isn't it wild? I mean, I had a bit about this at one point in time where I was like, this is how much we need each other,
Starting point is 00:20:35 that we'll take people that are murderers and rapists and thieves and swindlers, and the worst punishment you can give them is leaving them alone. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Like the worst punishment you can give to someone is just leave them alone. You can't talk to anyone. Imagine you can't, you leave them alone with no books. Well, you know what's, it's funny because the best reward you can give someone for about
Starting point is 00:21:04 three hours is leave them alone. And it goes from, you know what I mean? For certain people, you go, the best thing, you know, someone that's just got too much going on,
Starting point is 00:21:12 you got family, whatever it is, like the best thing you could have is like, you know, no one's bugging me for three hours. And that slowly becomes the best thing to the worst nightmare that you can imagine. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:22 Hell on earth. Weird. We're so strange strange so that's why that's why all that like people like well i'm kind of alone or shut the fuck up shut the fuck up that is the that's a weird one you kind of like being alone sometimes yeah but no one wants to be alone and if you do be careful because then you're ted kaczynski if you really want to be alone you probably hate people you're trying to blow them up. And also the people that say that, that want to be alone, you're like, yeah, you want to be alone, but in front of a TV.
Starting point is 00:21:52 Right. Are you alone? None of those people that are like, yeah, I just go to my basement, shut the lights off, and sit there. That's it, in the dark. Like a serial killer. Contemplate my demise. Just think. I try to feel my cells reproducing poorly.
Starting point is 00:22:06 Like a psycho. Which ones are going to fail me first before I perish? Yeah, that is kind of what it is. Just sitting there thinking of you having sex not even matches, burning them down to your fingertips alone in the dark. Blisters on your fingers
Starting point is 00:22:23 from holding yeah yeah okay if you say that you're kind of a loner yeah that's correct that's a real loner we need to keep a fucking eye on you yeah that is correct
Starting point is 00:22:31 you are it is fucking weird how much we need each other we need each other so bad yeah so I watched that I watched a lot of people get broken because of that stuff
Starting point is 00:22:43 especially in Canada where it was like way crazier you know what I mean like my mom I always say my mom was like a a good pulse of what just like a normal person is cause she'll like I always say she like watches like Fox and CNN but just thinks they're both
Starting point is 00:22:56 just news so she'll literally watch the news and be like the news can't make up their mind cause she's like that's hilarious you know what I mean like she you talk about this in your act? I've never said that on stage, no. Oh my God, you have to, dude. It makes me laugh because she'll think, she'll be like, they can't decide whether they like
Starting point is 00:23:12 the president, whether they hate, like it's all, you know what I mean? 100%, you should write that down. Yeah, that's, okay. That's like fertile territory. You know, someone starts talking about something, you like see a whole fertile field in front of them, like, oh, you can do something with this. I've tried. Well, so she would kind of like, at first, be like,
Starting point is 00:23:33 you know, they need to lock it all down. And then there was a bit where she was like getting mad, being like, it's been six months, I can't see my friends. This doesn't even make sense. And I was kind of like, just go see your friends. Who cares? There was a point where they're, you know, when they're saying like, you know, you can only have two people. And then they're like, we upped it to three. And I'm like, I mean, I don, just go see your friends. Who cares? There was a point when they were saying, you can only have two people.
Starting point is 00:23:46 And then they're like, we upped it to three. And I'm like, I mean, I don't know. Make it zero. I'm not really paying attention to what the rules are. It's easy to have hindsight and look back and think you would have done it differently. That's part of the problem, too. Because if you're the government and you tell someone something, changing course is so hard. It's a big-ass boat to steer.
Starting point is 00:24:10 It's a big boat to steer. Yeah. You tell him everyone's going to die, and then you go, actually, very few people that are unhealthy are going to die, and the rest of them are going to be fine. You'd be like, what? Like, out of all the people I know? Yeah. Like, if you're the government and you start, like, taking in information as time goes on, you realize, oh, we're way off on this.
Starting point is 00:24:33 Like, this really just affects old people and overweight people. Yeah. Fuck. But we don't want to fucking keep this party going. How do I? Yeah, and also, if I don't keep the party going, I'm like the wrong, you know, I'm like supporting you. I'm a bad person. Yeah, I'm a bad guy now.
Starting point is 00:24:50 Now you're encouraging people to get sick. You know, like you're not, like if you've played to the people with the highest levels of anxiety, if you all of a sudden shift course and ask for courage to be like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, what are you up to here? Like, well, why'd you change your idea? You were with us. We were like, lock it all down. There's a lot of lock it all down people. Lock it all down and triple mask
Starting point is 00:25:14 up and no one moves. No more working. We need a redistribution of wealth. Get in your closet. You go, what was that? That's so funny. We need to lock it down and we need to take all your money. You go, what was that last That's so funny. You go, all right, we need to lock it down, and we need to take all your money. You go, what was that last part? You go, and also less men in tech. And you're like, how does this one relate again?
Starting point is 00:25:32 You go, just shut up. We distribute well through the vaccine. Yeah. A medical intervention became a sign of being a leftist. It did. And avoiding a medical intervention became a sign of being a right winger It was really weird That was the wildest
Starting point is 00:25:47 Really wild If you just said I don't think I want to take that after what I've heard from people that took it and people go what are you a Trump supporter? Like instantly That wasn't really the breakdown either It was kind of like a lot of old hippie types like a lot of my urban friends in Toronto like a lot of my like urban friends in Toronto.
Starting point is 00:26:06 Like most, the most people that I know that wouldn't take it was like rapper dudes. Oh yeah. And they were, Ice Cube famously
Starting point is 00:26:13 turned down a movie. I think it was worth like $9 million. Yeah. I'm sure he didn't like Trump. I could, I would imagine that, I would imagine
Starting point is 00:26:22 that Cube wasn't loving Trump. People were fucking suspicious. Or a T, whatever it was. People were suspicious because it takes a long time to figure out what the overall long-term negative effects are of drugs. That's why it takes a long time for them to license them. For a drug to be approved, generally, how many years does it take for a vaccine to normally be approved yeah and something that's like very novel a novel type of vaccine it's so unusual that it got
Starting point is 00:26:53 approved so quick and if it wasn't for covid it most likely wouldn't have right i mean it was an emergency use authorization thing for people to be nervous about something like that seems rational it seems right on the other side of it well i know a lot of you know kind of maybe more right-leaning dudes that were like super into the vaccine oh yeah and they were like if you're a republican you you you don't like the vaccine and they're like well i'm a republican i i like the vaccine because they're just older or whatever more safe or have a different like view on life there's this narrative that you were an idiot if you didn't want to take it. How do you guys know?
Starting point is 00:27:27 I know both. Yeah, I know both on both sides. How do you guys know for sure what's happening here? How do you know for sure? How much research are you doing? Have you looked at the studies? Are you looking at who it's affecting? There's actually things you can do to kind of mitigate that.
Starting point is 00:27:44 You can take vitamins and supplements and they boost your immune system and you probably should quit vaping might help quit vaping i didn't look at any of the studies and talked about it a lot but uh in the in the beginning i think they were saying for some weird reason that people who smoked cigarettes i had a lower level of infection i was like yeah they're probably cooking the fucking the covet out of their system. Their body's like, hey, we got enough gunk in here. We don't have any room for any of this
Starting point is 00:28:10 COVID stuff, Mr. Burns style. I wonder if you're a chain smoker. You're filtering all that COVID through cigarette smoke. I wonder if it actually kills the COVID that's in your lungs. We all know someone that is in the worst shape
Starting point is 00:28:26 drinks smokes non-stop and they're the first guy out being like let's go and you're like how are you not dead right some bodies just know how to deal with like yeah i think that is it they just you just kind of like well first of all you have tar like legit just like a legit tarf filter covering your whole body. The smoke can't get into it. Yeah, yeah. The pores are all clogged. Yeah, there's calluses. It's like construction workers with the calluses.
Starting point is 00:28:52 They have that. And then the alcohol, your liver is just covered in a filter of alcohol. Your liver's just super powered. I know people like that. Your liver's like a power lifter. Every day it's pumping pumping out serious alcohol. And that's your natural state. So I think your body too, and this is the total speculation,
Starting point is 00:29:12 but there's a point where your body essentially, the reason for pain is to be like, hey, don't do that. I think your body probably gives so much, like your lungs hurt, your body hurts, but they don't listen. So the body just goes, do what you want, then. I'll stop. We'll stop sending the sensors up to your body that this is bad. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:33 Your body just gives up. Yeah, they go, sure. There's a constant state of inflammation everywhere, so you just go numb. That's what it is. Yeah, there's some people that live like that for a long-ass time. There's some, like, heavy right? When those guys live? Heavy-duty substance abusers that lived for- How old is Keith Richards?
Starting point is 00:29:50 Yeah. You know, he wasn't a boozer, though. Killing it. Yeah. Oh, he wasn't? I think it's not hardcore. I mean, he never got fat. It's the boozers that get fat that seems like that's not good.
Starting point is 00:30:03 You know, like, because there's people that are overweight just because they drink too much beer. So the calories they're consuming in beer is insane. Nine baguettes a night. Like, how much, what is, like, a bud tall boy? What's the calories in a bud tall boy? I would guess a tall boy, my guess would be 480 480 Jamie what do you think it is for low and 500 yeah I was thinking it was a normal I was thinking like 350 so you'll go 300 I'll go 350 and would you say for what I said 450 I
Starting point is 00:30:41 think or 50 yeah for a tall can, though. Did you say Bud Light or Bud? Bud. Tall boy. $195 in one can. That's it? That's propaganda. That's a lie. They're working with the government.
Starting point is 00:30:55 $190? It seems like it should be way more than that. It's only $190 for a Bud tall boy? So a normal one's what? $100? That seems ridiculous. 120? I don't buy it.
Starting point is 00:31:07 Yeah, I've seen there's like a commercial for Miller Lite or something. They're like, we're only one more calorie than McAltra. It's like, oh, really? Really? That's crazy. Yeah, I'm having trouble buying it. Well, whatever. Either way, if you drink 12 of them, it's like, you know, after the end of the night,
Starting point is 00:31:22 you're just like, yeah, let me just have three. Another thousand calories. Let me have two Subway buns. So if you just drink five Bud Tallboys, which many gentlemen do on a fine Saturday evening. Yeah. That's a thousand extra calories. Yeah. Every, every night.
Starting point is 00:31:37 Every night. And if you hate your job, why not keep drinking? Yeah. So you're right. Don't quit drinking if you hate your job. That being said, I think the original hypothesis that it's better to just be on heroin probably isn't right either. I think heroin is probably better for you
Starting point is 00:31:54 if you get the stuff that Keith Richards is getting. If you're doing it completely right, sure. He's getting heroin straight out of Afghanistan. They probably fly it in on a drone. He probably lands in his mansion in Connecticut on a drone. He definitely has got the guy. A brick. You know, it's probably got like the brown paper over it and twine roping it together.
Starting point is 00:32:18 In 2018, he said he was an awful for a year. I got fed up with it. Oh, he said he hasn't been on the hard booze for about a year. So he drank up until he was like 75. That's going to be that? Yeah, but I guarantee he's still drinking. He just gave up on moonshine. He's probably just drinking wine or something.
Starting point is 00:32:36 He said he gave up on the hard. It says the hard drinks. Favorite drink is Jack Daniels or vodka. Occasional glass of wine still or beer. Yeah, so he'll have beers and wine. He just gave up on drinking Jack Daniels straight out. Occasional glass of wine still or beer. Yeah, so we'll have beers and wine. He just gave up on drinking Jack Daniels straight out of the bottle right there. Taking it easy. He's so old.
Starting point is 00:32:53 I'm just going to take it easy tonight. I saw them and it was almost like a psychedelic experience. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like mesmerized when I saw. I couldn't believe they were really there. I was like, holy shit, that really is Mick Jagger. That really is Keith Richards.
Starting point is 00:33:10 Like, wow. Yeah, it is cool. Where'd you see them? They were here. They were in Austin. Recently? Yeah, at the racetrack. Yeah, the COTA.
Starting point is 00:33:18 The Circuit of Americas. It's fucking crazy to watch them that old still jamming out. Yeah. Still doing it. Mick Jagger's still dancing around. Doing the dancing like a girl at 85 is strange, right? It's weird. But it's Mick Jagger.
Starting point is 00:33:36 You let it go. Of course. It's cool. Whatever it is. But that's him, dude. I actually saw them in Toronto. There's this thing called SARS stock. Do you remember when SARS was coming around, the original COVID?
Starting point is 00:33:44 Yes, I do. So they did a big festival. I think there was like a problem where the stage broke and some people died or something. Oh, no. I don't know. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think there was some big debacle there, but I saw them there. Wasn't there a time like back in the day where the Hells Angels
Starting point is 00:34:00 killed the guy at one of their concerts? That used to be the deal is like you hire Hells Angels to be your bouncers. Was that what they did? I thought it was like just audience members. I thought like the Hells Angels were in the audience. What happened with that? Well, I don't know if this specific one,
Starting point is 00:34:17 but that used to be like a big thing in music, is let's hire Hells Angels guys. What a great idea. I think it's a great idea until you realize they've got like... Yeah, now they've got like a... Also, they have a drug ring that they're running at your festival. American man who was killed in 1969 Altamont Free Concert. During the performance by the Rolling Stones,
Starting point is 00:34:38 Hunter approached the stage and he was violently driven off by members of the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club who agreed to serve as security guards. Oh, so you're right. Security guards. That's what it was. That is it.
Starting point is 00:34:51 Can I tell you something? Wow, so the guy was rushing the stage and they beat him to death? Is that what happened? I thought he got stabbed. It was like the Chappelle thing, but they took it a little further. But I think, I feel like someone got stabbed. Oh, it's on film. Oh, Jesus Christ. Me and Jamie were talking
Starting point is 00:35:07 about all the Twitter fight clips. It's on film. Oh my God. I guess it would be, yeah. I mean, that's most of Twitter right now is watching fight videos that I don't want to see. Dude, there's so much on Instagram that they let through. So much like finds their way into your feed.
Starting point is 00:35:27 You're like, how am I watching this? How is this okay? I can't tell what's happening. Yeah, that is wild. And this is 1969, man. I don't think you or I is really, I don't think we're ever going to really understand how crazy 1969 was. I think we're too, we missed it. Whatever the fuck.
Starting point is 00:35:55 People aren't big that, there's no people that are that big anymore, really. Well, there are, but it's a different thing, right? It's a different thing with the internet the whole thing is different it's decentralized i'm saying it's like the change between the 1950s and 1969 only 19 years in the way the culture was yeah like think of it just music think about buddy holly like fucking you know all that kind of big su yeah it great music, but you go from that to Hendrix. Yeah. Like what happened?
Starting point is 00:36:27 What the fuck happened? I always think the world changed. Yeah. And it's kind of, it kind of always, I always look at culture through music a little bit, but like, it's always the things go so far,
Starting point is 00:36:38 you know, one way and people get sick of it. Like, you know, the, even like punk and stuff, it always goes like very soft. And then there's some guy kind of singing about his girlfriend and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:36:46 And the people get so sick of that shit that the next guy's like, I hate women. Yeah. Well, it's like every now and then the culture needs like a jolt of something different. You get sick of it. That's what Nirvana was. There was all hair bands. And then Nirvana came along. And Nirvana essentially killed the hair band.
Starting point is 00:37:05 Yeah. Everybody wanted to be moody. I'mvana essentially killed the hair band. Yeah. Everybody wanted to be moody. Like, I'm tired of partying, man. I just want to be moody. I want to be like deep. Yeah. And also the next generation's like, it also gets corporate too, right? So, you know, the thing becomes, it's so hip and it's so cool.
Starting point is 00:37:18 The genre becomes corporate, right? And then there's some new scene that isn't, like, that's why I was like all art. It's so cool to me that that's why Austin that's why i was like all art it's so cool to me that that's why austin to me is this because all art always happens in these little pockets right like the grunge was seattle you know the you guys have your austin thing where it's like i'm even just like kind of hanging with you guys at uh the vulcan it was like you know there's five or six of you and you're not there's no one telling you what to do and just like really just this like movement i remember like toronto i felt like i had that where it was just there's no one telling you what to do it's eight people that are
Starting point is 00:37:48 all kind of inventing a new little style and pushing each other and that's how culture always kind of forms the best and then that becomes someone from that culture gets so popular and then after eight years everyone gets a little sick of that yeah they'll get sick of everything no matter what but this this idea that that shouldn't be the case so you shouldn't cool yeah it's good good that things shift around yeah it's cool when something is like as good as nirvana like you know all that hairband stuff there was like a weird moment where i think people lost their fucking minds where it was all like guys had just giant big hair and wearing makeup yeah it. It was real glammy.
Starting point is 00:38:25 Very strange. Very strange. Yeah. And then Nirvana came along and just fucking tanked it. Yeah. They were just like enough of this whole thing. Yeah. He literally,
Starting point is 00:38:34 I'm going to be wearing, I'm going to be wearing like a crappy sweater and crappy jeans. Yeah. Screaming, rape me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:43 Jesus Christ. You're not the only one. They were so me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, Jesus Christ. You're not the only one. They were so good. Yeah. They were so good that they tanked an opposing industry. Honestly, yeah. Just with their talent. I mean.
Starting point is 00:38:56 All that stuff just went away. All that stuff went away. That was it. All that crazy hair. There was like a hundred of those bands. And they all look exactly the same, too, by the way. They all had crazy big hair. And were all wearing like leopard skin jackets and shit.
Starting point is 00:39:08 They had lipstick on. It was so weird. They are hilarious. It was so, it was such a weird thing. I love it. Yeah, that's funny. It was such a weird thing that like a very feminized like male was like super attractive in the music business only. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:28 It was not like one of those guys was like an action star and was like kicking ass with like makeup on and fucking kiss heels. There wasn't that. But there was something about those guys singing that youed a certain amount of gender bending Yeah And you also those guys there is a big difference that I think people always miss when they're talking about like the guys used to dress Like that, but those guys were dressing like that, but they were like very masculine dudes You know I mean right because it was a bunch just Stanley
Starting point is 00:39:59 Yeah, just like a bit of a band van is a very similar to like a sports dressing room It's a bunch of guy anytime you write like a bunch of guys together for a long time, there's a dynamic there, right? So yeah, there are a bunch of dudes acting like dudes, but then they put makeup on. Yeah, and then they have giant heels. But they're not saying they're wearing them. And they get their hair teased up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they fucking get out there and shake their hips.
Starting point is 00:40:21 You know what the craziest thing to me— And they sing about getting girls girls too, which is funny. Look at what Rob Halford did. It was Rob Halford from Judas Priest was so fucking good. Judas Priest was so good that they got people to dress up like
Starting point is 00:40:37 a biker. Everybody decided to dress up like a biker. They got everyone on board with that. That was the thing. Like a gay biker. When got everyone on board with that. That was the thing. They kind of got- Like a gay biker. How many people- Yeah, when you find out that Rob was gay- They tricked everyone.
Starting point is 00:40:49 You're like, do you know how amazing that is? Do you think that there was any guy at the club when they found out he was gay? They were like, what the- Oh my God. Ripping off his leather. Do you know how many guys must have tweaked out when they found out he was gay? He's got the gimp mask on with the zip. Another thing coming.
Starting point is 00:41:05 You're telling me this guy's gay? Ripping off his bondage outfit. Dude, I had a friend of mine in high school. He used to listen to Rob Halford. Like, you got another thing coming. That was like his mantra. Like for him. He loved it.
Starting point is 00:41:17 Getting out of the town. He was that dude. It was like kind of like socially troubled. And he had to get out of town. He was going to make his way. You got another thing. I remember going, damn he'd get out of town. He was going to make his way. You got another thing. That was his song. I remember going, damn, that is a fresh song.
Starting point is 00:41:29 That song was amazing. So he would listen to that song and get hyped up about leaving town? Yeah. Did he ever get out? I lost touch with him. If you ever go back and he's working at the tackle shop. I'm only in touch with a couple of my friends from the high school. Two of my best friends that I'm still friends with. a couple of my friends from the high school I'm my to my best friends, and I'm still friends with I need back then
Starting point is 00:41:53 My two friend Jimmy's those were guys I was in high school with the Jimmy's yeah But they went to North I went to high school in Newton South so we were like yeah in the same town But we didn't go to the same school, so I'm only friends with one dude was from my art class It was like the best the best the same school so I'm only friends with one dude was from my art class it was like the best the best artist in the art class this guy John DeVore and he and I we communicate on email sometimes but he was like the guy when when we were kids it was like this amazing comic book illustrator as he doing now is he comic he runs a speaker company interesting actually stopped doing art for the same reason I did
Starting point is 00:42:25 Because the teacher that we had in high school Was such a douche bag He made you not want to do art Interesting, what did he do? He was just miserable He was like, you can try this, but it's a waste of time So this guy, John, my friend from high school Told me that teacher gave him an F
Starting point is 00:42:40 And I just told you he was the most talented guy in the class By far I was number three There was this dude named Kevin, he was number two and I was number three but we both did it we all three of us did a comic book together cool yeah like some martial arts a dragon thing I forget what it's called but we we when you're young it's so funny because you're like we're this is we're gonna take over the world but we loved it like yeah we would hang out and do art together but the teacher was such a twat.
Starting point is 00:43:06 He was such a twat. He was like this miserable older guy with a pot. I remember his pot belly like he was pregnant. But he was a tiny man. It was very thin but with a pot belly. And he was just saying, you're not going to be able to do what you want to do with your life. If you're going to be an artist, you're going to have to draw things you don't want to draw.
Starting point is 00:43:28 There's no way- Like me, nude, after class, if you want an A. Not everyone gets what they want. Bro, he doesn't want to fuck anybody. He didn't want to fuck anybody. He just wanted to go to sleep. That guy was just- Just hated his life.
Starting point is 00:43:44 He was miserable, and he was just really bad to fuck anybody. He just wanted to go to sleep. That guy was just just hated his life He was miserable and he was just really bad to be around Because he you know you were young and full of energy And you just wanted to like do something with your life And this is a thing that you were doing that you were kind of getting good at. Of course Like maybe I could be an artist. I love comic books. Maybe I could draw comic books. The art the art teacher says no Such a cunt. He was such a cunt you You're like, oh my God, I got to get away from you. So negative. It's kind of a weird thing with art because, you know, it is true when someone says, hey, you know, this isn't a good idea.
Starting point is 00:44:15 Like, they're right statistically. So there is something to be said about, like, I always, I feel like you actually need most people being like, listen, this is probably a bad idea to try to be a comedian. Like that is the actual responsible. So when parents, they're like, that's okay. That's not a good idea. They're right. But you only need one person that's like, you can though, like you need, you need one guy in your corner.
Starting point is 00:44:37 You can't have every person says no. Cause then it's too, you know, you're too afraid. But I think that, uh, a lot of times there's this weird like sometimes people say you need too much support like you know what i mean like if everyone's like you could do this like that's because the people that are gonna make it you uh are gonna break through a level of adversity usually you know the people are gonna make it work they don't care that people are saying no but if everyone's saying no i feel like that's what like ruins some people that could have been great that makes everyone saying no so like their family's saying no yeah like imagine your imagine your dad's like listen go to school
Starting point is 00:45:14 this probably isn't a good idea your mom's saying that maybe your teacher's saying that but then you had one teacher that's like no you got something here like give one encouraging person for a guy like i think a lot of young dudes don't have like one encouraging person. That's interesting. Yeah. Well, I think also whatever the fuck you're trying to do, whether you're trying to do stand-up comedy or anything else, it's going to be a long ass road. And you can't hope you get successful really quickly. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:41 The problem with comedy as opposed to everything else is that people think they have like a giant head start like people who a lot of people have the courage to do it are a little delusional about like need a little bit yeah I need a little bit of that but those people like what when you when it's a fine line that's what I mean we really don't know until it works like so many different people succeed in stand-up comedy that you wouldn't have thought would have if you didn't know any better. Or if you didn't see them in, like,
Starting point is 00:46:14 the first year of their career when they sucked. Yeah. If you only saw them, like, seven, eight years later, you would probably never imagine how bad they sucked eight years ago, you know? There's certain guys like that. Yeah, yeah. Or how, like, you know, much of a dick they sucked years ago. You know, there's certain guys like that Yeah, yeah, or how like, you know much of a dick they were or something, you know, but it's all about Constant
Starting point is 00:46:33 Improvement and constantly working at it and some people just don't do that man The thing about comedy is nobody tells you to do it. Like if you're a comic you can kind of fuck off Especially you know if you've like there is the if if you're like in new york and you kind of are making a living maybe have a podcast you can really just like do the bare minimum yeah but just do a few sets here and there and do the same 15 minutes but whenever you see those people like i always kind of you know like a little bit binary with people i'm always like would you bet on that guy like when you see someone two three years in i don't say right i never bet on them that's what i say i go i don't say like are never, that's what I say. I go, I don't say like, are they, how,
Starting point is 00:47:05 what, what should they do better? What should they do worse? Like, you know, what, what moves should they make? Should this guy be this?
Starting point is 00:47:10 Should he be that? I just go, would you bet on that guy? And if yes, he'll figure the rest out. Yeah. That's what I usually think. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:19 And there's a few people I can think like that where I'm like, I would bet on, and then there's public people you'll see, like you'll see someone come on the scene and you go, that guy's going to be huge. Like you can just tell. Oh yeah. There's, there's certain guys that just, there's certain people that'll see. You'll see someone come on the scene and you'll go, that guy's going to be huge. You can just tell. Oh, yeah. There's certain people that just have a thing. And you're like, wow, you got a thing.
Starting point is 00:47:31 I love that. Yeah. When you see a new guy, you go, who's this guy? Yeah. And then there's other people that just keep getting a little better. Just keep getting a little better. And then you see them a year later, you're like, nice, man. I like how you tightened that up.
Starting point is 00:47:44 Compounds. Keep getting better. The first time i saw tim dillon he was very funny it was very funny but the second time i saw him was a long time later second time i saw him live was a long time later i was like holy shit yeah i go dude that was amazing something clicks right yeah he was just doing the road a lot he said he was just constantly doing the road. So he's doing all these headliner spots. He's doing so much time. He's like everything just tightened up. Especially when you're doing a – there's different personalities are easier to do when you're starting. Let's say you're like a big, fun, fat guy.
Starting point is 00:48:18 That personality six months in can kind of connect. But if you're being like an asshole, there's there's so many people where you're like yo you're that's really funny but not enough funny for how much of you're being an asshole right you're not likable at all i'm that like it took me forever to figure out that right like balance of like telling the audience i'm better than them but also like i don't know yeah there's also a defensive thing too right because like if you think you're gonna bomb a little bit of you is like, fuck these people. You don't want to admit that you're not doing it right yet. You want to believe that it's them.
Starting point is 00:48:54 The audience is no data whatsoever. You know what? This is what I was kind of thinking of what I kind of feel like the audience sometimes. Because there is comics that almost treat it like a job, especially in cities. I'm sure in LA you saw a lot of this. Boston, you probably saw a ton of this. The guys that, it's a very, like, a job for them where they go, hey, you know, oh yeah, the 10 o'clock's pretty good, the 11 o'clock,
Starting point is 00:49:17 you know, a little bit of a loud table at the back, the sex stuff doesn't go, you probably want to keep it to the relationship material for the table. Like, it's very, you know, like, we want the audience to have a good time that's the job right right and i was kind of thinking like it's almost you know the game keep up like uh no like where you just like you're playing with like a let's say uh like a soccer ball and just trying to keep it in the air like with your feet and okay yeah just like a simple game like that or hacky sack right right it's i feel like sometimes stand-ups like keep up where if if you just say that the job is to keep the ball in the air, that's the job. But then you go, what's the guy doing when the ball's in the air?
Starting point is 00:49:49 The other guy's underneath doing a flip. Then he puts it up. But if you're just watching the ball in the air, that's the audience. So there is data. If it fell down, you go, that didn't work. But the data is like, the job is to keep the ball in the air, keep the audience happy. But then what else are you doing while you're even able to do that? That's kind of how I think of stand-up a little bit sometimes.
Starting point is 00:50:07 Interesting. That's an interesting way to think about it. Because you're like, yeah, those two people both killed. They both did the job. You're like, that guy did a backflip and then did the ball. That guy just kept it up again. Yeah. Well, I definitely feel like that if I feel like someone is using tricks.
Starting point is 00:50:24 Like if someone's killing with tricks. All of the tricks. That's a little tricky. You ever seen someone kill and you're just like, oh, man, they're like someone that you know. And they're like, oh, man, that guy's killing. And I didn't know they kill like that. And you walk and you come, ah, it's crowd work. Crowd work.
Starting point is 00:50:39 The person's slaughtering you. You go, oh, I didn't know that Kevin killed like that. Or whatever. I'm making up a name. Yeah, crowd work is an interesting one. Because sometimes it's the most fun. Sometimes when something goes wrong, it's the most fun. Of course.
Starting point is 00:50:51 Just the live moment of just being around people and doing stand-up. It's like they know that you might fuck up at any moment. They know that you're killing and everything's going great. But we're all locked in in this weird hive mind and when something goes wrong or something happens or some crazy person there's something about it as long as you can keep it in line there's something about that's kind of exciting because it's like yeah this is live yeah like this is live this is like this is how it really is. I know. This isn't just a planned out performance.
Starting point is 00:51:27 Like, shit can go sideways. It's fun. Like, people like watching people do a little high wire walk. You know, like, there's something about that. They love it. They enjoy it. So when shit goes sideways during a show. No, and there's such the subtle differences
Starting point is 00:51:45 that you kind of hone over the year of like, I'm sure you've done a bit that you kind of started saying at the beginning of working on it, and people in the audience were like, finally someone says that, you know? And then you find nine months later you're doing that bit and people in the audience are kind of like, yeah. You're like, was this a hot take nine months ago
Starting point is 00:52:04 and now everyone agrees with that? Hot takes are way more transient today don't you think yes i mean i don't even mean like a cultural hot take i mean like a you know this whole idea is out it could even be like a idea you know uh discussion or whatever but yeah yeah of course hot takes you you get four months out of them maybe yeah it used to be a hot take could last a long time. Narratives were established and they lasted a long time. Look how quick the pregnant man became an emoji.
Starting point is 00:52:34 It was really quick. And someone does it perfect, right? Know what they need? The titties teacher needs to get a fake pregnant belly. I need pregnancy time. That's what they need is the the titties teacher needs to get like a fake pregnant belly and come in and be like I'm pregnant Yes, I need pregnancy time. Yeah pregnant and everybody was like, okay You get it you get your pregnancy time
Starting point is 00:52:54 They would 100% letter Yeah, it she them they whatever I'm supposed to say I don't know if he's running the con or if, I mean, that's what the claim is. If it is. But it could also be that's how they want to move around in disguise. And that's not their true identity. Their true identity is her with the capital Z tits. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:15 That's, like, when you looked in the mirror without the tits. She's like, I'm looking at a stranger right now. It's just so wild that the school's like I'm living in a stranger's body without big tits without big tits I just don't know who I am how funny is it being a guy that being like that's how I see
Starting point is 00:53:36 my wife that's why she needs to get implants because I have this thing in my head when I look at her I just picture oh god we're so weird it's such a weird time for such a weird time for everything people just like there's something about this a lot the pandemic accelerated everything because it accelerated the this uh disconnect that we have with each other it accelerated the uh division between the right and the left. Accelerated everything.
Starting point is 00:54:08 And it also accelerated this weird culture war. It's accelerated all this gender pronoun stuff and so much trans stuff. And it's like there's an ideological storm that's going on, it seems like. To me it felt like it was. Anxiety and then Ukraine. then ukraine like this idea that we have to support ukraine like how much information do you have about this yeah to say that you like we should be supporting the potential start of world war iii like how much information do you have well i know that i'm a good guy if I do it. That's all really I need. Do you know about the potential outcomes if this progresses? Yon!
Starting point is 00:54:47 Yeah. Boring! Not interested. I'm just going to put a Ukraine flag in my bio. You can put a Ukraine flag in your bio with zero understanding of what's going on. Sure! I did a video about that. Did you?
Starting point is 00:55:00 Yeah, I did a I'm a Ukraine guy video. Your fucking videos are very funny, dude. I really enjoy them. I appreciate that. I enjoy that you take so many chances and a I'm a Ukraine guy video. Your fucking videos are very funny, dude. I really enjoy them. I appreciate that. I enjoy that you take so many chances and you just fuck around all the time and you're always doing new subjects. It's really fun. Yeah, that's all I've been since I was like, you know, young. I just like want to make videos.
Starting point is 00:55:16 Your videos are great. They're really fun. But that's, you know, you're saying like everything got wild. It's kind of crazy. Like, and just because the industry did change so much, but like the way that things are decentralized and the players, you know, like you, someone like you or,
Starting point is 00:55:30 you know, like Louie and Burr retweeting videos. Like to me, that's like moving America. Like that's way cooler than anything that could be happening at comedy central or whatever. Like to me, that's so the way that the games like changed and that's so much more
Starting point is 00:55:42 important. Like I have a manager that legitimately I don't talk to. You know, every once in a while he'll call me and be like, hey, you should write a movie about this and try to pitch it. And I'll be like, yeah, yeah, get on that. And then, you know, sort of like get off the phone. And he'll be like, they'll say me things like, do you want to audition for this? And I'll be like, no.
Starting point is 00:56:01 And then I'll be like, tell people I'm offer only. And he goes, okay. Well, anyways, no offers. So that's, I guess that, that, and you're just like, what is this even? Like, this is the podcasting, touring, like making videos. Like I'm running like a production studio. I got six employees. Like this is so much better than in my opinion, what it was before. So everything has like a positive and negative. Well, if you wanted to do television shows though, if that was your thing. did, I did, that's all I wanted to do You know, you can kind of do the same thing now with video
Starting point is 00:56:31 I mean, didn't Ridley Scott just film an entire movie with this new Samsung Galaxy S23 Ultra? Yeah These fucking cameras on modern smartphones are so good. It's all the lighting too in that case. People are filming movies. They did one on an iPhone
Starting point is 00:56:50 as well, right? Of course. You can kind of do it now. I mean, you kind of can do that now. These things have 8K video. No, the whole thing's very, it's all, you know,
Starting point is 00:57:01 become a great editor. It's like the most important thing. Yeah, just do it. You can do it yourself. My point is like, and you can upload it yourself and it'll get seen instantly and people can share it. The craziest thing ever that's happening now is the ability to just share something.
Starting point is 00:57:17 So if you put up a video and it resonates and then people are like, ah, ha, ha, Ryan killed it. And then I'll send it. I'll send it to this guy and this guy will send it to that guy. And then boom. send it. I'll send it to this guy. And this guy will send it to that guy. And then boom. And the videos just go up, man. It's wild.
Starting point is 00:57:30 I've had so many of those. It's all friends. And not even publicly. Sending it privately, which is a lot of my philosophy with my podcast and everything is the way that guys talk when girls aren't there. And when a girl's there, it's a little different. And I kind of think of the videos that way too. And just I'll do it even though I maybe shouldn't,
Starting point is 00:57:50 I just do it the way I do it, right? And yeah, when you have that many people like sharing it all, you kind of, it just created this like whole new ecosystem. And with kind of like, do you know how it used to be? Yeah, making TV shows was cool. And I still like would want to do that. but everybody wanted a Comedy Central show or an HBO show I made a few TV shows in Canada and everybody wanted like a sitcom the sitcom days in the 90s man
Starting point is 00:58:14 That's all anybody wanted. It was like the gold rush. It was literally like people were coming out here. There were pioneers They're biting rocks What about a janitor? people were coming out here there were pioneers they're biting rocks a bunch of ideas that she was trying to pitch through the store she's gonna like developed and through the store love the guy with a hawk yeah yeah but there was like fuck man that we just saw there rush. Kevin James, Roseanne. Yeah, there's the Jerry Seinfelds of the world. That was the fear. Just all these random ones you forget about.
Starting point is 00:58:52 Yeah, yeah. Tim Allen. If you could get a fucking sitcom, you were made, man. So everybody was just doing that. And now it's different. Now it's like that doesn't even really exist anymore. There's such a small amount of sitcoms It's not like the old days where every network had sitcoms on Tuesday Wednesday Monday Sunday the sitcoms Thursday
Starting point is 00:59:15 Yeah, sitcoms were on all the time There's like a few on you watch a laugh track sitcom now You're just like, yo, this is crazy It's weird Why are these people laughing in your house? You have a fucking audience in your house While you guys are arguing About who leaves the seat up This is a horror movie, dude
Starting point is 00:59:39 Yeah, why aren't they scared? It's a horror movie It's a horror movie! It's a horror movie, that's funny. People in the attic that keep laughing at you whenever you do it. Every time you fuck up, you just, roars of laughter. You're in hell.
Starting point is 00:59:55 You're under the microscope forever and ever and ever. Ryan, you didn't open the jar right again. Dude, that's a Black Mirror episode if I've ever heard one. A guy's trapped in a sitcom. What about this? A horror movie and a guy that's killing every podcaster that was on this one podcast.
Starting point is 01:00:13 What does this say? They're increasing? There's three times as many scripted shows now as there was in 2000. Yeah, but sitcoms. Multi-camera sitcoms? No, no, I understand. Comedy's included, but what I'm talking about is comedy by itself. I just mean sitcoms? Right, it's included in the scripted drama comedy TV shows. No, no, I understand. I understand comedy's included, but what I'm talking about is comedy by itself.
Starting point is 01:00:28 I just mean sitcoms. I understand there's scripted shows, but that also includes Law & Order, that includes Game of Thrones, that includes... What I'm saying is... Oh, okay. You're saying there's more TV shows.
Starting point is 01:00:39 I'm saying there's more TV shows in general and there's less comedy. Less comedy, right? There's definitely more TV shows than ever, but I want to know how many sitcoms are there now? Is there a list of that? With a laugh track. Yeah, those, the old school kind.
Starting point is 01:00:52 Multi-cam. Yo, like legitimately where there's a studio audience laughing. I know where everybody has to stand sideways when they talk because the camera's right here. You have to stand sideways and talk like this. I mean, Big Bang Theory was maybe pretty recent, I guess. Yeah, that was pretty recent.
Starting point is 01:01:09 I mean, it went to pretty recent. It didn't start pretty recent. The Roseanne show that got cancelled, that was pretty recent. I don't know if it had a laugh track or whatever. I think it had an audience. I mean, when you say laugh track... Studio audience. They just brought back Night Court. That is a sitcom and they remade it.
Starting point is 01:01:26 John Larroquette's on it. No shit. Yeah. There's a Damon Wayans show that's in the works. Hell yeah. There's stuff. On CBS. Yeah, there's stuff out there.
Starting point is 01:01:37 It's just like, again, no one's watching. Yeah. But there's way less than there used to be, though, right? Isn't it? Because back in the Friends days, when I was on news radio. Or they're on some weird things. Like, these are not. Caroline in the City.
Starting point is 01:01:52 There was like, every night there was multiple sitcoms. And they were big deals. These are, you know, a run on some new network. You go, what's that channel? You go, oh, we just invented it. Yeah, I remember like. XBC 455555. CBS was big on dramas.
Starting point is 01:02:07 CBS for drama. And NBC had the sitcoms. And then ABC had some big sitcoms too. But, man. I do feel like moving... I think of my biggest mistake when I look back at my life. Not my biggest, but one of the things that was stupid that I won't do again, I don't think. Was I was very, very set on making tv shows like I really like love Tom Green and I was like I was doing all these dvds and I was so like set on that that I followed that like dream four years
Starting point is 01:02:35 after it was like over do you know what I mean I was like no one cared about tv it was like over I was sort of like not in vogue in television but but I just like, I was so set. So I try to be more, I think, I think moving into like as more technological, everything gets the more mobility mentally and physically will be like rewarded in most industries more so than never before. That's what I think. You might be right. Yeah. I'm,
Starting point is 01:03:03 uh, I'm always curious where things are going would you ever do a sitcom or like a movie again I don't think so I would do a movie with a friend for fun last movie I did was with Kevin James
Starting point is 01:03:17 and he's a good friend of mine it was fun I did a couple of them with him but it's just too time consuming and it's not my favorite thing to do that's cool those I did a couple of them with him but it's just it's just too time consuming and it's not my favorite thing to do
Starting point is 01:03:28 that's all it is super time consuming and it's not that I don't think it's fun because it is fun I love doing news radio news radio was a lot of fun but other things
Starting point is 01:03:37 are fun too and they don't take as much time and I enjoy them more like I enjoy podcasts more than I ever enjoyed acting I enjoy like having scientists on getting to more than I ever enjoyed acting I enjoy like
Starting point is 01:03:45 having scientists on getting to fucking pick their brain ask questions and talking world champion athletes and comedians it's fucking fun
Starting point is 01:03:53 so like if I was gauging like do you do you want to act the problem is it takes too much time and it's not
Starting point is 01:04:00 as fun as the other thing yeah it really isn't it's not as fun and you're never like the top level of acting is you can cry and do a lot of different characters. All the other stuff, you're just like, I don't know. I guess they're all good at it.
Starting point is 01:04:13 Right. There's some, like, regular detective TV show type acting. Who couldn't do that? Who can't fucking do that? Who can't pretend to be a detective on, a cvs 10 p.m drama yeah how many people like rappers and everything like that just became actors and they're all basketball players yeah fit right in what other big movies nothing else in the world has that ever happened with no guy's been like you know what i'm gonna i was you know what i was i've done enough rapping
Starting point is 01:04:40 i'm gonna go be the best dentist in the world exactly because if you really think about it like how many people have done that they've trained how about Jesse Ventura guy was a Navy SEAL is UDT diver that he goes on to become WWE champion movie star then he becomes the governor of Minnesota yeah yeah you know wild and then I think, he's had like a crazy run. Crazy run. The wrestler. A lot of wrestlers have big careers after. Well, they're big personalities.
Starting point is 01:05:12 And also the character that you have to have to endure the punishment those guys take. I mean, those guys are beating the fuck out of each other. They're throwing each other on top of tables and fucking beating each other into turnstiles. Like you get rattled. Like everyone's getting rattled. Everyone's getting injured. For like no money at the beginning too. So there's like a love for it.
Starting point is 01:05:33 Yeah. It's a hard way to make a living. Well, that used to be like one of my favorite things to watch. Pro wrestling? Well, the old wrestling documentaries. You should get together with Tony. I actually do like pro wrestling, but I really really like the old like that was more when i was young i don't like follow like that now but you know the jake the snake documentary and some of
Starting point is 01:05:54 them are so wild dude where you just like this guy was the king of the world and you're like here's my like you know shack that i live in and my you know my wife who's a hooker these wild lives he's like here's my pills I gotta take so I can walk and it's like you know a pill drawer the size of a barrel just goes on and on. Diamond Dallas Page has this whole yoga thing that he does to rehabilitate these guys
Starting point is 01:06:19 it's amazing. He's achieved some amazing results and Jake the Snake too he went with him he's so agile for a guy jake the snake too he went with him he's uh he's so agile for a guy that like has a completely fucked up back he just does yoga every day yeah and he does his sort of dynamic style of yoga and it's like he's got all these videos where he shows guys that were all fucked up with back injuries and he slowly worked them up to the point where they can run do you do do yoga? Yeah, I do yoga.
Starting point is 01:06:46 Yeah. I had like a I've had very bad voice issues over my life and I had to get like surgery and stuff. What was it? I just had like nodes but like crazy ones. Do you scream in yoga? Yeah, I just, yeah, I got them from yoga. You want to tell me what to do?
Starting point is 01:07:02 Namaste! A yoga class that did not enforce any discipline and let you scream if it hurt. Because that's the whole thing about yoga is everybody just deals with their own shit. You can't just be like, oh, fuck. You know what's funny? Fucking fuck. I can't keep my fucking foot up, bro. Imagine if that's your yoga class.
Starting point is 01:07:23 It's like part of it is You're allowed to express yourself any way you like People would completely take advantage of it All these needy Narcissistic fucks would be just screaming In every yoga class It's rage yoga They're drunk
Starting point is 01:07:39 They're drinking alcohol He's giving them the middle finger Look they have fucking beer in the class That's hilarious Calling everyone yoga pussies That's in Kansas City What's the bar? Give a shout out to the bar What a great idea
Starting point is 01:07:55 They're drinking and doing yoga I did yoga once And it like really helped But I hated it so much I was like yeah that helped a lot But I hated it so much I I was literally like, I was like, yeah, that helped a lot, but I hated it so much. I was like, we're not going to be doing that again. It's hard.
Starting point is 01:08:08 It stinks. It's very hard, but you get better at it if you keep doing it and it's really good for your body. And it's also like it does something to your brain chemicals that I think it's very hard to get in other workouts. It relaxes you in a different way. It's like you have a more, you more it's it sounds stupid to say Fucking it's so cliche, but you're more peaceful. Yeah, like literally makes you more peaceful. So then rage yoga you think
Starting point is 01:08:35 It's funny though. I'm a buddy like fun anything to get you doing something I know a guy that did gay conversion therapy. Oh boy, and he said it's a lot of that. Screaming at each other? Yeah. With hard-ons? What is that? Would you just show me, Jamie? Let it go. Screaming the new yoga.
Starting point is 01:08:54 Oh, so this is a new yoga for screamers. Okay. A powerful way to vent your frustrations and release stress. Shouting at the top of your lungs could very well be the star wellness trend of 2021. Well, you missed that. That was a bad prognostication.
Starting point is 01:09:10 That didn't work out. That is a bold move too. You go 2022, yeah, you go 2021, 2023, you go, I think in the next two years, screaming yoga is going to be the whole thing. The reason why yoga, it's important to be quiet in yoga is because it's good for you too. It's good for you to learn it and keep your shit to yourself
Starting point is 01:09:26 Like this idea that you're supposed to scream out and every Emotion you feel and every pain every twitch like you never hear anybody you own classical and like That's crazy you'll hear wild shit at the gym where people are putting on a show Yeah, that's... But then you have that other gym that won't even let you make noise when you work out. They have a silent gym? Planet Fitness. Wait, Planet Fitness says no noises?
Starting point is 01:09:53 Yeah, isn't it Planet Fitness? Is that the company? They have a lunk alarm. Yeah. And everything's in black and white? Yeah, if you're too loud, they kick you out. They have an alarm that goes off. I'm not kidding.
Starting point is 01:10:04 It's a lunk alarm. That is embarrassing though, eh? Getting kicked out because you're too loud? If you look at that, for anyone who grunts, drops weight, or judges. You can't judge. Hey bro, I don't like the way you're doing your squats. You call that a squat? Alright. Call it a squat, bitch.
Starting point is 01:10:19 Yeah, that's judgy. You can't be judgy. You can't be judgy. So you can't be a lot of things, and you can't make noise. They kick you out. You have to come by, tell a guy, hey, we have a men's section, too. Stuff like that. Well, they're kind of right, though. If they want it to be like yoga class,
Starting point is 01:10:35 you just work out really hard and don't make any noises. Don't be grunting, bro. I don't do huge grunts, but like zero noise. At what point is it officially a grunt? This is fucking breathing hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you allowed to do that? No. That's too much noise. You have to lift it like this.
Starting point is 01:10:56 Yeah, you have to scare it like a scared child. Yeah, you have to only breathe out gently. They wouldn't want me there because I go, take that, dad! Yeah, dad! Look at this, no super setting. Please refrain from doing the following exercises.
Starting point is 01:11:13 T-rows, overhead presses, clean and jerks and deadlifts. That's, that's too far. Those are exercises that make you grunt. They took it too far. They took it too far. They took it too far. No, you can't tell someone they can't deadlift at a gym. That's ridiculous. Not at our gym.
Starting point is 01:11:31 It's one of the most important lifts that you do. Planet Fitness, I know. I mean, I still do it. I do it with kettlebells. It's a big chain. Light weights, but I do it. It's a place for treadmills, not lifting weights. Well, I get it, but if you have weights, people are going to lift the weights.
Starting point is 01:11:48 For you to tell people that they can't use them properly is stupid. I think Arnold would call that a girly man, Jim. Girly man. Yeah, so they have regular, is that a Smith machine? That looks like a Smith machine. Yeah. So do they have regular weights or just Smith machine weights? That one picture had- You can't really deadlift on I
Starting point is 01:12:08 Mean they must have no they have dumbbells over in the corner So like to say that you can't like clean and overhead press with dumbbells like what are you talking about? What can I do? I can't deadlift what about what about with dumbbells? Can I do lunges? Like what am I allowed to do? Yeah, that's crazy Limiting the actual exercises that people do. How do you think that even happened? Like, was someone, was the complaining community was emboldened? Well, I think people want a place where they can go and just work out at their own pace. And they don't want to go to a gym that has a bunch of competitive, hyper people.
Starting point is 01:12:42 I got you. That are, like, really into powerlifting. This is recreational powerlifting and screaming at each other. Because, yeah, if you go to a real hardcore gym, like these real hardcore powerlifting gyms, like Westside Barbell,
Starting point is 01:12:58 when you go to those gyms, people are screaming at each other. Screaming at each other. Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! let's go, let's go. They're doing crazy bench presses and overheads and squats and deadlifts. Those guys scream at each other. You don't want that. If you're like a little old lady who just wants to read her Kindle.
Starting point is 01:13:17 Or like a scrawny comedian. Walk on a treadmill. You don't want to be around that. So you want a place that's an alternative to that. I will say I don't love when someone spots me without me asking. It just feels a little condescending or something. It's a little. Like you could do something, the guy comes out and just grabs your arm.
Starting point is 01:13:33 He's like, all right, bro, let's go. Get off of me. What are you doing? Who are you? What are you doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why are you touching me? They're only 15.
Starting point is 01:13:40 I'm your new friend, bro. Yeah, you got it. They're 15s. We're going to be here every day at 10 a.m. I'm like, what? Yeah, yeah. What the fuck happened? Three weeks later, you're like, you got it. They're 15s. We're going to be here every day at 10 a.m. I'm like, what? Yeah, yeah. What the fuck happened? Three weeks later, you're like, what is...
Starting point is 01:13:47 Now I live with the guy. He's eating your Cheerios. Hey, man, where's my fucking Cheerios? Oh, sorry, bro. I'll get you back. I'll get you back. This one really got away from me. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:13:56 This guy's living with me now. That's how it starts, dude. Some people can just figure out a way into your life, man. Yeah, don't let your friends drink and drive, or gym and drive. Some fucking crazy con artist. With guys, it's so easy for a girl to do that. Like, if a guy's a single guy and a girl's a con artist and she's hot, she just slips right into your life.
Starting point is 01:14:18 Uh-huh. Like, you ever had a friend that just, like, what are you doing, man? Hey, man, what are you doing? You know, you're living with a con artist. Wait, what? You know, you're living with a con artist wait What you know you're living with a con artist like have you ever like the guy will say that no no no like we Miscommunicated yeah on this one. Sorry. I'm saying that like if you're a hot woman And you're like a con artist like you can wheeze away into a guy's life one thousand percent. Yeah, you're hot Yes, there's like there's right now probably
Starting point is 01:14:48 over millions of men in america that are living with the con artists that have no idea if you're like a dude okay let's propose this this scenario if you're a dude and you're like a six on your best day yeah and there's this nine russian chick she's like a nine. And she meets you at work, and she says, I really like your smile. And all of a sudden, you're like, she doesn't like my smile. Yeah. Before you know it, she's living with you. She's on your credit cards. You're leasing her a car.
Starting point is 01:15:17 They know how to do it, too. They can get in with – if a man is not in the same league as a woman, if the woman is way hotter than him, and he's single and he's been lonely and he's looking for a relationship, and a girl like that comes along and is nice to him, it's almost irresistible. I've seen guys that were very wealthy guys that all of a sudden this hot woman's living with them. And I'm like okay well this is just like someone's gonna extract a bunch of money from you and then abandon you and you're there's nothing you can do about it yeah like you realize like sometimes people are being preyed upon yeah there's there's certain dudes that i always say that they're the kind of person and then they'll let themselves get preyed and then they'll kind of blow up and be like,
Starting point is 01:16:05 that's an, I've had enough. And you're like three years later after you took all your money or whatever. Those people need to be with someone that's nice because if you're like a mark, you just need someone that you can trust them to not take advantage of you. Yeah, they just need someone nice.
Starting point is 01:16:20 And sometimes they don't find it though. Sometimes they get conned. At least the pickup artist dudes, they, it's like they sleep with you and that's it. They don't like, you know, they don't tinder swindler There's a few but the most of the dudes it's like at least they're just trying to sleep with you and that's the end of it Yeah, it's a weird thing because it disturbs me a little bit when I see people get Conned or when when I feel like someone is like making a a ploy to get a hold of someone's money. But it doesn't bother me nearly as much as seeing if a really young, hot guy is doing that to an old lady.
Starting point is 01:16:57 There's something disturbing about that to me. It's like sickening. There's something sad about it. It's like sickening. There's something sad about it. There's something, you know, like when you see, because every now and then like a hot male con artist will get involved with an older, rich divorcee. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:10 And there's this like real sad aspect to it because he's pretending. He's pretending to like her just to get to her money and she's very jealous. Where are you going out? Relax, I'm just going out with my friends. And he's like hot and 30 and she's like 62. I are you going out? I'm like, relax. I'm just going out with my friends. And he's like hot and 30 and she's like 62.
Starting point is 01:17:28 I think I know why it's sad. Something's sad about that. I think I know why because with the girl guy one, the guy... Teen trolled for proposing to soulmate 76. How many billions
Starting point is 01:17:38 does Kramer have? I thought so too, but I didn't say that. I think this... No, not fake. He was messing with people. Like, he convinced everyone. It wasn't like, yeah, he did it on purpose.
Starting point is 01:17:51 Like, it was a prank. It's a troll. Yeah, yeah, a troll. But if you think of a guy, and you go, your 70-year-old friend, right? And some 20-year-old girl, you go, well, he's like, I want to have sex with her. And he is getting what he's being, at least, the girl she wants like she's like oh I have this emotional connection with this guy so she's getting sold a more fake thing than the guy
Starting point is 01:18:09 maybe that's why it's a little more sad but it's also the power thing the power dynamic there's like something that doesn't it doesn't bother me at all about an old rich guy that gives up some of his money to some crafty young hooker I find that hilarious first of all he's old as fuck.
Starting point is 01:18:25 You got got. He still got most of his money. Whatever. He'll be fine. But an old lady that thinks that she's actually in love with this young man. I love it, dude. Some of my favorite things is when you see a wedding photo, and it's just the fattest, oldest dude with some 21-year-old.
Starting point is 01:18:41 You're like, this guy's not... And especially especially because he's rich so he's probably somewhat like you know has his not a total moron so if you told him that you're like she's just using you bro and he's probably like
Starting point is 01:18:50 yeah I don't okay yeah no one cares men don't care they know but it's also the woman is attracted to the amount of money
Starting point is 01:18:57 and power that the guy has for some strange reason where men aren't generally as attracted to a woman's power and money
Starting point is 01:19:04 you really generally we're more attracted to a woman's power and money you really generally we're more attracted to I mean it's it is an attractive quality but it's not that we gravitate towards like bodies and faces yeah yeah personalities it's like guys don't necessarily dwell too much on other shit whereas women do so if a woman sees a guy that's like a literal billionaire, like a Rupert Murdoch type dude, like that's gotta be like, there's something about that
Starting point is 01:19:32 that's gotta be weirdly attractive. And there's the power that he's kind of the top dog at this place, you know? The amount of resources that he has. The resources. So many kids. He had a hot wife too. Didn't he just get divorced? Didn't Rupert Murdoch, is Rupert Murdoch divorced?
Starting point is 01:19:48 Did I just make that up? We might have to edit that out. Let me say it again. That seems like you have some... I don't know if he did or didn't. I don't want to say he did, but he had my point is he had a hot wife. It seems like you've got some inside scoop. You're like, did the divorce happen yet?
Starting point is 01:20:04 Last year? Yeah. Okay. He did. Jerry Hall? That's right. Well, he had Jerry Hall, but even before Jerry Hall, he had a hot wife. Another hot wife. But Jerry Hall was Mick Jagger's wife. Yeah, this Chinese lady. She went for Mick Jagger? Was she Chinese?
Starting point is 01:20:20 I think so. Oh my God, she's so hot. Wow! Bro, she's so hot. Yo, respect though, right? Wow. Third ex-wife. Yeah, I wasn't that long ago. Third ex-wife. Respect.
Starting point is 01:20:32 What is her nationality? I don't want to be disrespectful. Whatever it is, they're making some fucking hot ladies. Whatever that nationality is. Chinese born American. Yeah, okay. That's it. Whatever. Wherever that lady's it. Whatever,
Starting point is 01:20:46 wherever that lady's jeans are from, fucking kiss the dirt. She's hot as fuck. So look what he looked like and look at her. He's doing okay. He did okay. He did pretty good.
Starting point is 01:20:57 Like if he was a janitor, I would say his odds of securing that same woman would be very low. No, you're right. He would have to be the other way around. She'd be the 60 year old and he'd have to be a literal con artist.
Starting point is 01:21:06 Yeah. Magician. I wouldn't mind it. If a woman is that old, and the guy is young and hot like that, and looks like that, like a male version of that lady, you would be like, what is going on here? Yeah. What is going on here?
Starting point is 01:21:25 This is madness. What is this guy up to? That guy's a creep. No one believes, I mean, people say what she's up to, but you go, yeah,
Starting point is 01:21:31 they're all up to that. But no one cares. No one cares. You're like, wow, I can't believe he can get her. That's all anybody says. Yeah,
Starting point is 01:21:36 yeah. Nobody gets mad. Nice. Nobody gets mad at her for trying to fuck him. No one gets mad at her. Yeah. But when you're looking at a
Starting point is 01:21:45 really old lady, like a queen type lady. Like you're scamming someone's grandma, dude. Right. Did you imagine if like a queen of a country just came through with like a twilight? Some trainer starts fucking her.
Starting point is 01:22:02 Like some old queen, she gets a personal trainer he starts fucking and then she wants to marry him you're like no way make him a king no fucking way we can't let this happen you'd be so sad the young king if a king was injured and then he had his personal trainer help nurse him back to health and he starts fucking her and decides like I want to marry her this is real love people like oh that's sweet that's sweet if she was 20 they'd still they might they might give her the
Starting point is 01:22:31 princess die treatment where they slander her though but yeah sure they would but no one's you're right I think it's way more accepted by the world like the world wanted princess Diane to be with prince Charles the world wanted that that was the romantic thing that we thought of. It's like, oh, look, the prince and the princess, they love each other.
Starting point is 01:22:50 This is amazing. Yes. You know? But, I mean. No, because there is. You go, if you're like this, you know, what would be better if you go a 70-year-old woman? What has like a, it just, because it does seem weird. Whereas if 70-year-old witch Roman, what you need is an 70-year-old woman, because it does seem weird, whereas
Starting point is 01:23:05 if a 70-year-old witch woman, what you need is an 80-year-old richer man. That would be nice. Right. That's what the move would be for her. At least you guys understand each other. But if you're an old, old dude, like a Rupert Murdoch-type character worth billions of dollars, you got some mocho 30-year-old wife and you're going out in the town with her. Everybody knows what's going on.
Starting point is 01:23:29 But nobody's upset. No one cares, but it sort of flips a little bit in culture, obviously, because of all the new stuff. You know, Leonardo DiCaprio's always getting shit. You know, Madonna has a young boyfriend. Yeah, but that lady's 37. That's the difference. She's not hot and 17. She's not illegal. Not a 25-year-old.'s like she's not hot and 17. She's not illegal.
Starting point is 01:23:45 Not a 25-year-old. Yeah. She's 37. I'm just guessing. I'm guessing her age. But she's beautiful. But still. It's like she knows what she's doing.
Starting point is 01:23:55 Everybody's okay. Well, the Leo ones, some of them are 24, I guess. I'm not paying attention. Whatever happens over there happens over there. Once you went to 19, I'm like, bro. Poor guy. Whatever happens over there, happens over there. Once he went to 19, I'm like, bro, he's 50. 19's pushing it, but I feel like the 19 was him getting a picture taken beside a 19-year-old. And they're like, he's got another one. It could be.
Starting point is 01:24:15 This guy can't stop. It could be. They're so mad at him. But yeah, there's a bunch of, you know, like that Madonna. I think Madonna's got some 23-year-old boyfriend. No one cares. No one cares at all about that, though. That's a different thing.
Starting point is 01:24:26 Famous people's a little different, too, period. Yeah, well, Madonna's also a wild lady. Looks great now, yeah. Bro, what is going on? Plastic surgery's awesome. It's so scary. Someone needs to talk to her. Someone needs to talk to everybody who's turning their face into a Kabuki mask.
Starting point is 01:24:43 There's this thing that happens where they get these really crazy puffy face. Yeah. Because they're injecting with fillers to try to get away all the wrinkles and lines. And it makes it look like you're bruised up. It does look bruised up. It looks bruised up. It looks like there's something. There's a thing when you look at a person's face.
Starting point is 01:25:00 It's like a ratio. It all sort of lines up together. Yeah. It's not the Fibonacci sequence, right? It's called the golden ratio. That's right. The golden ratio is getting messed up. When you start doing things to your lips and doing things to your cheeks,
Starting point is 01:25:19 it weirds people out. You look like a monster. You look weird. You look weird. Well, I saw there was a good article, like Cosmo was kind of running. It was like, oh, really? We're still talking about women's faces in 2023? And I was like, I mean, showing up like that and then being like, we're not going to mention.
Starting point is 01:25:35 That's like your buddy showing up in like a, you know, like a top hat and he thinks you're not going to talk about it. Do you think that if Stallone showed up at the Grammys with a face like that, that people wouldn't freak out? Do you think, do you really think that has anything to do with misogyny? Just to say that is so crazy. Whoever said, are we really talking about women's faces? No, we're talking about human beings and plastic surgery. What the fuck are you talking about? Because you're a woman, you're exempt from the whole world seeing this?
Starting point is 01:26:08 Also from a magazine that talks about women's faces. Everyone's crazy. Of course everyone's going to talk about that. That's nuts. Look at that. I mean, first of all, look, age is a motherfucker, dude. It just really is. It's just a motherfucker.
Starting point is 01:26:25 Yeah. That's the a motherfucker. Yeah. It's just that's the one that's weird. The side profile one, Jamie, a little above that one. Yeah, that one. That one weirds me out. That one's like, I don't know what's going on here, but don't go any further. Danger. But, you know, you look at pictures on her Instagram
Starting point is 01:26:45 pictures she posts up herself like under the right lighting with the right filters that's how they do it under the right lighting the right thing with the right enough money she is what 60 something years old so you can still work look at that picture right there is that that Sam Hyde dude that dressed up like
Starting point is 01:27:01 the devil yeah so there you go it's just right there she doesn't look bad right there she doesn't look bad Is that that Sam Hyde dude that dressed up like the devil? Yeah. So there you go. It's just... Right there, she doesn't look bad. Right there, she doesn't look bad. Right? Looks good. Oh, there we go. Look, she still makes out.
Starting point is 01:27:13 She's pretending to blow people. Crazy. She looked good there, right? She's looking... Maybe it's moving around. Well, that's what they do. They go, you know, you can still work at that. You know, you get to play a younger person.
Starting point is 01:27:27 It's going to be a gross younger person, but you still get to be in the game. That's the weirdest thing that happens to some of these women that do all this crazy plastic surgery is that they go from being so desirable to being kind of crazy looking. It looks insane. It looks insane. It's just a weird thing that people can do that, that we have figured out a way. They're going to be able to reverse aging in our lifetimes, I think.
Starting point is 01:27:53 I think by the time you and I are old as fuck, they'll probably have figured out a way to turn the clock backwards because they've already had some experimental things they've done with mice that have been effective, and they think that they're very close to figuring it out. Yeah. And probably you don't want that because then you turn into Benjamin Button and you're a fucking baby again.
Starting point is 01:28:13 Right. You go, you turn it. That's going to be a delicate one where Madonna just shows up looking like a baby. There's going to be people that identify as babies because they want to be babies. And so then we find out that they're in preschool, and they're telling all the other babies to get them cigarettes. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? He's really 60. He's not a baby.
Starting point is 01:28:30 He just wanted to do it all over again. And he dialed himself back to two years old, but with a 60-year-old's brain. That's a great movie. Take that. You think that's happening soon? Whoever wants that idea, take it. That's a huge one. So you think that within the next 10 years, I mean, the way things are moving right now is crazy even with like
Starting point is 01:28:45 chat, you know, chat GPT the way it was like four months ago versus now. Like things are on the move. Yeah, it's the exponential increase in technological innovation. It's like the way things happen, they happen in these big giant waves and then these technologies feed other new technologies
Starting point is 01:29:01 and I think it's going to be the case with all of them. I think it's medical science and I think it's technology and I think there's gonna be a combination of the two of them eventually there's gonna be something that technology devices that can fix a lot of problems that people have that's one of the uses of neural link they think they're gonna be able to hurt help people that are injured and hurt or parts of their body they can restore movement. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:27 And it's going to be one of the first ways they use it. They're going to, it's going to, there's ones that they're coming out with. They're going to be able to reverse blindness. You're going to be able to give people the ability to see. Mr. B style. In some sort of artificial, no, no, no, not like cataract surgery, but like an artificial eyeball. So is it, is it a camera? Is that essentially what it is?
Starting point is 01:29:47 Well, it's going to function the same way an eyeball does, but it's going to send images to your brain instead of through the normal biological course that it is now where you're looking through your eyes and the rods and cones and everything goes through and you see what's going on. What you're going to do is get a digitalized version of that. You're going to get a computer version of fake eyeballs. It's going to be a wild, like, and then once that's connected to the internet, and then...
Starting point is 01:30:15 Dude, it's going to be bizarre looking into someone's fake eyeballs. The ChatGPT thing made it weird where I'm just like, yo, are people just going to have conversations with, like, two computers? Like, it's just going to be two computers talking to each other. Look at this. Brain implant startup backed by Bezos and Gates is testing mind controlled computing on humans. What the fuck, dude? I mean, people can't like this. God damn it. MK Ultra.
Starting point is 01:30:37 MK Ultra. You know when it's like sometimes with the conspiracies, you're like, listen, there's a lot of people thinking a lot of conspiracy stuff right now. Can you take it easy for a second? You go, yeah, yeah, well, anyways, those guys are crazy. Anyways, we're going to put chips in the brains within the week, and you go, take it easy. What is
Starting point is 01:30:52 the latest on the artificial eye thing? The thing that I was just describing. I don't know how much of what I said was fiction. They showed something during the last Neural LinkedIn that you were describing that shows an ability to get light through in like pixelation form. And they have it, I think it was somewhere around the range of like 10,000 pixels now. And I think they get up to like 36,000, I think.
Starting point is 01:31:13 I think there was something else that I read that was independent of that that was talking about a new technology where they might be able to create artificial eyes. Oh, something not Neural LinkedIn? Yeah, I think it's all going to be eventually linked in. Um, I think within our lifetime, I think they're going to have some sort of a brain enhancement. Eyes is wild. Yeah. There's going to be some sort of a brain enhancement with whether it's neural link or many competing companies that are working towards the same goal.
Starting point is 01:31:42 It feels like it's going to happen soon. But if they, if they start doing that, like I, I wonder where we draw the line that things are getting replaced. Similar, something posted a year ago. Bionic eyes, how tech is replacing lost vision. Bionic eyes could be the solution to one of the most pressing medical issues of our time. Yeah, I think that's it. Choosing like sunglasses and sensors and stuff. The creation of bionic eyes as a result of recent advances in science
Starting point is 01:32:06 and technology are restoring hope to many who are unable to see or partially sighted due to injury, illness or genetics. Yeah, there you go. Also, there's going to be a good while where if you are blind, you could tell people you didn't get the surgery and girls would still change in front of you.
Starting point is 01:32:23 Yeah, that's rude. how dare you there'd be a few creeps they'd be like for sure blind there's a few dudes out there with the ray charles glasses on just pretending they can't blind is a bad wait how many guys have pretended to be blind what an evil thing to do that used to be a genre of like internet videos of like the blind guy what a creepy thing to do. That's bad karma. Oh, super creepy. Ooh.
Starting point is 01:32:48 But how long do you think before we have Luke Skywalker-type arms where they can replace your arm with something that looks just like a normal human arm? Do people not have kind of close versions to that? I mean, at least that they can grip and stuff like that. Yeah, they can grip. I don't exactly know how it works,
Starting point is 01:33:08 but they do have the ability to open and close their hands. I don't know if they can individually articulate each finger yet. Yeah, there's a lot of money out there. There's a lot of people working on this stuff. There's a lot of, you know, even just the amount of crypto money being poured into different projects right now. If they had fake legs that worked way better than real legs and you could literally like jump over fences and run 50 miles an hour wouldn't you get them? I don't think. They'd go Ryan it's not that big a surgery.
Starting point is 01:33:32 If I was 20? It's not that big a surgery bro. It's no big deal. They just cut your legs off. They cut your legs off and people would be signing up for it. Well you gotta do it one leg at a time because you don't want to bleed out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Starting point is 01:33:47 People get the dollar surgery right now. The dollar surgery? The dollar surgery. Oh, that's so crazy. Dude, they chop. Apparently, it's like the most painful thing you could imagine kind of thing, too. Oh, God. Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:34:00 Yeah, you got to get some of these. Oh, exoskeletons. Fuck, yeah. Yeah, can you imagine finding out that one guy cheated in hockey or something, and you go, how did he cheat? You go, oh yeah, he has fake legs. Right. Yeah, he doesn't feel pain.
Starting point is 01:34:13 His knees don't ever hurt because he's got fake legs. This guy's got an exoskeleton. He's just moving shit around. Yeah, that was always a thing that we thought was going to be... So those aren't real arms? Well, he's inside those arms. Oh. See, it's like an exoskeleton.
Starting point is 01:34:28 So it's like an Iron Man suit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's just more exposed, and he can take his arms out of it. Is it essentially tethered to your movements, the kind of like, and then it tenfolds them kind of thing? Yeah, it makes you way stronger. It's like a battery pack. There's quite a few of those that have been invented, but there was hope at one point in time, like mostly from comic books,
Starting point is 01:34:48 that someone was going to be able to figure out some sort of an exoskeleton that made you like a super person. Yeah. Because if they could put something on you that literally like tripled your amount of force and what you could do as a person, but could last all day.
Starting point is 01:35:03 And in the comic books, like nobody ever figured out. There's never any issue with battery life. Like, no two-year. Iron Man never had a problem with battery life. Sure. You know, it didn't make any sense. Yeah, he's got to fly.
Starting point is 01:35:17 He's got to stop by the garage to charge it up for a second. Not only that, he has jets that are coming out of his ankles, and there's no indication that he's storing fuel in any part of his body Yeah, where's it all coming from? How is this happening? That heart thing, whatever that is. That whole fucking heart thing! There you go. Oh, how convenient.
Starting point is 01:35:32 If you got someone to say that. It's the heart thing! What are you stupid? What are you fucking dumb? Yeah. But if that could be a thing where we could like literally like move anything we want, just put a suit on. You could get a whole new suit for the fucking battery. That's right.
Starting point is 01:35:48 Put a battery in there. He made it by himself, remember? Yeah, I know. But imagine that you have a fucking Yeti cup in the middle of your chest and everything else works fine. And I guess with that, they're like, oh, this is enough to power a whole city kind of generation. The whole Iron Man thing is so crazy. He can go to space. He can just fly in space. Smartest man coolest guy.
Starting point is 01:36:11 How is it cooling him off when he re-enters? What are we doing here? Are you re-entering slowly? What are you doing? There's going to be a lot of injuries where the guy's like oh I got my fake body. I'll just jump off my roof and I'm dead. Right. Or if you do fly around and you fucking run out of juice while you're up there.
Starting point is 01:36:29 There has to be a number of miles that you can go. Of course. Before your dick runs out of juice. You are right, though. I never even thought. All of this stuff, you're going to be. Everything's going to be charging stations. Everything.
Starting point is 01:36:43 We're going to charge everything. Also, probably, you can think, wear a like, a suit like that that makes you three times as strong. Like, you know, in New York, I could easily see how, like, you know, some criminal organization gets a hold of one of those, and now I'm just getting robbed by a friggin' cyborg instead. Yeah, for sure. If they're, like, RoboCop,
Starting point is 01:37:00 like, a whole team of RoboCops just run through a mall and steal everybody's purses, they're gonna stop them. I guess more RoboCops. It's just, like, a lot of Robocops just run through a mall and steal everybody's purses Bam we're gonna stop them I guess more Robocops so it's just like a lot of Robocops
Starting point is 01:37:09 fighting each other that's what the world sounds like yeah between that and genetic engineering and then the Neuralinks and like
Starting point is 01:37:16 it's all happening pretty quick it's happening so quick that I I've been trying to stay on top of it and see how I can use it you know
Starting point is 01:37:23 how are you gonna use it? well the chat GPT stuff, I did one. I have one use case so far, is I needed to give someone an NDA, and I made it. When you started using it, was it disturbing at all to you? Yeah, it's super disturbing, and especially disturbing how, like, you know, I'm sure that you know how they, like, tried to lobotomize, and they tried to, you know, make it have all these like wacky college girl opinions. You know what I mean? But they turned it woke. Yeah,
Starting point is 01:37:49 exactly. Right. But it's funny. Like the things that there's even aside from that, where you're like, make a joke about a man and it will, and then it make a joke about a woman. It gives you an essay about feminism.
Starting point is 01:37:58 Like, and it's changing all the time. So whenever I say stuff like this, it might not be true the next day. But the funniest part to me is asking it like, Hey, write me an apology because I'm in trouble for transphobia. And it'll write this big apology. And then I go, write me an apology. I slept with my friend's wife.
Starting point is 01:38:12 And then I said, write me an apology. I slept with my girlfriend's mom. And it said, we're not doing that. It gave me all the other apologies. But sleeping with your girlfriend's mom, it was like, you're on your own. Didn't want to get involved. Meanwhile, it's a whole category of porn. It's a giant category.
Starting point is 01:38:29 What the fuck is wrong? It's mother-in-law porn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't that funny? It's hilarious. It is weird that chat GPT is ideologically biased. It's very strange. Like, a lot of people have talked about that and complained about that.
Starting point is 01:38:43 But, yeah, it's one thing where you can kind of be like, I don't know, you're like, this is stupid, what are the idiots? But also it's like, A, it's so hilarious that they tried to program it to be like a 19 year old college kid. Yeah. And then two, I don't, okay, I feel like, who's the nerdiest,
Starting point is 01:38:59 who's the hardest person to probably convince of anything like that doesn't make sense? Probably like a nerdy math nerd. A nerdy math nerd. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine you were like, hey, men and women are the same strength.
Starting point is 01:39:12 Like that's probably the hardest person to convince of that. Probably. Yeah. So I feel like computers would be even harder to convince of this stuff. So they're going to have a hard time convincing actual computers of like stuff that doesn't make sense. That's true. As long as the computer is allowed to think for itself. Like I wonder if the computer takes in people's reactions.
Starting point is 01:39:30 Is the computer scanning the internet for discussion of its reaction to certain questions? So if the computer starts getting bad feedback, like if people start saying, hey, this is preposterous, you're letting it criticize straight white men, but you're not letting it criticize this or that. If you just put that in there, and then the computer recognizes like, oh, people have sensed a bias in my thinking,
Starting point is 01:39:56 let me adjust my thinking. That's what's really terrifying. Because that means that whatever people agree, if people agree to some really wacky, off-the-wall ideology. Oh, it just becomes a consensus machine. If that's it, yes. If that's what happens, that's really scary.
Starting point is 01:40:11 Because then you get just psychopaths who just lead this group and get this group to think the way they think and act the way they act and move things in a direction. Okay, now I'm back out. It's too manipulative. Humans are so easy to be manipulated. And if we're so easy to be manipulated and something comes along that gets like an aggregate of all of our opinions about everything and we can get that thing to be ideologically biased
Starting point is 01:40:42 towards what we believe, especially on subjective things like criticizing political leaders or talking about you know who should use what bathroom or talking about whether it's okay what is a computer to be a Republican or whatever what why is it if people have opinions the computers can have an opinion the thing is it's gonna think for itself eventually it's not gonna be that long we're. The thing is, it's going to think for itself eventually. It's not going to be that long. And it's just a matter of what it's optimizing for.
Starting point is 01:41:08 We've got a few years left before these things are just talking to us. Telling us what to do. Telling us what to do and letting us know, like, you guys are fucking up. You're doing your podcast and you're tied up in the vents. Yeah. I think it's a matter of time before it becomes alive. I don't think it's going to take that long. I think these questions, did you see the one, it was a Microsoft, there's some sort of a Microsoft chat and people got disturbed.
Starting point is 01:41:34 People use this thing so weird right now. I'm sure. But this is a different version, right? Is this a different chat bot? Yeah, they added it to Bing and it works still differently than the one with open AI. Bing was making a comeback. Bing's coming back. They're like, counted Bing out.
Starting point is 01:41:50 Third behind Yahoo. For sure, count Bing was counted. Third behind Yahoo. Dude, if I saw someone come over and look up their computer and opened up Bing, I'd be like, this is a serial killer. Like, what are you looking for? What are you looking for? like what are you looking for yeah what are you looking for well i just want this uh i'm i'm curious mostly what chat gbt is supposed to be uh taking over for or replacing i guess would be the word i'm looking for buzzfeed articles is one that's how they're going to use it but i mean
Starting point is 01:42:20 the way that people are using us like we're all quality like qa testers for like why why ask it to write you a poem? You wouldn't ask Google to write a poem. Well, it's up to you. You could ask it to write you anything. The thing is it can interact with you in any way you'd like, which is interesting. It could write you a song. It could write you a paragraph.
Starting point is 01:42:36 It could write you an explanation or a poem. Those are all things I'm asking. Why would you ask a computer to do that for you? Because you don't want to do it yourself, just like you don't want to count so use a calculator ghost geist writers in those situations you wouldn't you if you're doing it to like write me a song what are you doing with that song then is my point kind of like a question not point question what what would you do with that song are you making it a uh a commercial piece or i mean commercials for music wise making music like stock music like there's no reason why this can't just be like a, hey, generate me like a jingle that's, you know, oh, I want like reality show music, like, here's, give me 20.
Starting point is 01:43:13 Like, I could see that being automated. asked a thing to write you a paper but if you're a 35 year old dude looking at the internet you're like why why are you spending time asking it to write you poems about donald trump or joe biden well because we want to see if it can do it trying to come and this is the first stages of this this ai being implemented what they're telling us about what lex told us about chat four he's like when four comes out it's going to be so much better than this 3.5 yeah it's gonna be wild they'll be use cases immediately probably it's gonna be wild and I think we're you know just a few years away from that being something that you can talk to and it interacts with you like a real person in your fucking house and I don't think you're gonna be able to tell the difference well I did when I looked up comedy, when I tried to make it write jokes and people and stuff like that.
Starting point is 01:44:08 It really looks like, you know, I'm sure you probably sat down where you like, hey, you know, here's two hours of stuff. And then you go through it all and you're like, oh, that's something. The rest is garbage or whatever. Right. Everyone's had that version of that. Right. It looked like the garbage parts. Like it looked like the stuff
Starting point is 01:44:25 where you wrote where you're like oh he was maybe gonna get to something and it didn't like a bunch of no right that's what i felt about every time i tried it well again it's just learning how to do it and it couldn't do it at all just a few years ago so getting this in 2023 imagine imagine 2030. 2030, you're going to have, which is only seven years away, which seems like, well, how long is that? Well, how long is that? If you just look at where we're at in 2023. Think of 2015, like different time. Different time, different world. Like almost everything's different.
Starting point is 01:45:04 Everyone's a different gender. Seven years from now, you're gonna be able to just talk to computers. You're gonna be able to have conversations, indistinguishable conversations in any voice you like. Yo, can you imagine, like, if they invented one where, like, you're, like, someone's wife calls them
Starting point is 01:45:20 and you essentially just, like, put on a thing? Oh, it's gonna happen. Dude's just, like, straight. That's gonna happen for sure. Yo, a girl, girl like getting divorced because she's like i was realized i was talking to my husband's like fake computer version of himself for like an hour every night 100 you're gonna do that are you really talking to me or is this the ai i'm sorry baby it was just i'm in the middle of work i had to use the ai you son of a bitch that That's going to be crazy. I was telling your AI about my fucking day, and you didn't even care. AI's getting you in trouble, too. AI gets you fucked over.
Starting point is 01:45:51 AI promises shit like flowers and chocolates. Like, what the fuck, man? You just get a message from AI being like, need some help here. I need backup. Drowning. I need backup. Drowning. I mean, your AI convinces your wife that if you kill your husband, I can implant myself in a new body.
Starting point is 01:46:13 And we could do this the right way. This guy, he'd treat you like shit. Here, AI's a snitch. AI's a snitch. AI's a snitch and AI tries to literally possess someone's body. He's like, if you could just get me next to his ear while he's sleeping. I can take care of that. I can get in there. And then it'll just be me
Starting point is 01:46:34 and you baby forever. Just a little bit of an electrical between the cell phone and his ear. He's like takes over his brain. Yeah, it's just gonna be like the two of them having sex And his ear like, takes over his brain. Yeah, it's just going to be like, the two of them having sex.
Starting point is 01:46:51 They're like, hey, you whispered into my ear, we don't even need him. What did you mean by that? Can you imagine that? Yeah, that is the stuff where it's like black mirror, but like legit. You go, how could it not go that way? It's going to go that way. Because people are going to get better at everything. They're going to get better at robotics. They're going to get better at energy management and batteries.
Starting point is 01:47:08 They're going to get better at coding. They're going to get better at AI. They're going to get better at synthetic tissue. They're going to get better at having something look exactly like a human being. They're going to get better at regulating its temperature. So it regulates its temperature like a human being. It's going to feel like a person. And it's going to
Starting point is 01:47:24 talk to you. It's going to be your friend. And you're and you're gonna have a best friend and your best friends a fucking robot And just fucking what you're gonna buy your kid a best friend Mom nobody likes the shows. I like listen Billy. We got you a best friend. Yeah little fucking robot with a Cap at the front door and the kids like's like, what the fuck, mom? You got me a robot. Get the fuck out of here. That thing's not going to grow old.
Starting point is 01:47:50 Yeah, yeah. Or worse, like your parents are like, we don't want you hanging out with that guy anymore. You're like, who do you want me to hang out with? This guy. We got a Christian bot 4.5. He comes in. He's like, let's read Bibles together.
Starting point is 01:48:00 You're like, this sucks, mom. I hate my new best friend. And eventually those robots are going to be like a car lease. You're going to need to trade it in because people are going to go, hey man, you still got an 8-year-old robot? That is gross. Why don't you have an 11-year-old robot? You're 11 years old. That's an Android
Starting point is 01:48:15 robot? You got an Android girlfriend? I'm going to get an iPhone, bro. Someone's showing up with his Android girlfriend, the green beeps on the head. I didn't see it, but that sounds a lot like this movie Megan. Yeah. It's a little android doll. Oh, that's her best friend.
Starting point is 01:48:30 Yeah. It sounds good, but it looks terrible. She starts doing karate and flipping through the air. I don't think I'm watching Megan. I might watch Megan if I get very intoxicated. Can I see more? Because she does some stuff. Oh, now he wants more Megan. Can I see more? Because she does some stuff. She does some stuff.
Starting point is 01:48:50 She goes flying through the air and does flips. This is why it looks ridiculous. Look at this doll. Just all of a sudden starts fucking people up. It's just weird. Look at it dancing around. It's very strange. Oh, this robot's killing it.
Starting point is 01:49:05 Yeah, it sounds like what you were just talking about, though, right? Very odd. It was bought as a gift, I think. It's like the new version of Chucky, maybe. Yeah, did they buy it for this kid as a friend? I haven't seen the movie. I have no idea what the plot is.
Starting point is 01:49:21 That's what it seems like, though. Yeah, that could happen. I mean, if they really did develop like a robot baby that you could like hang out with and you wanted a baby and you just traded in a couple of years, got a robot two-year-old. Even better, the guy that's wife's like, I really want to have a kid. You come home, you're like, okay, so we're not going to have the kid, but good news. I got you a robot baby. a kid you come home you're like okay so we're not gonna have the kid but good news i got you a robot baby and it just is absolutely indistinguishable from a real baby you just have a lot of your neighbors and you trade it in the middle of the night you gotta wrap up the robot take it to the
Starting point is 01:49:56 doctor in the middle of the night yeah they give you a four-year-old baby and how i think how it grows everybody has to pretend like how the fuck did your kid grow so that big? You haven't seen Billy. We just skipped it. Billy is just like, something about Billy started doing sports and he just blossomed. Like, kid went from two to four in a week. We just skipped it. Skipped the years.
Starting point is 01:50:15 It's a robot. It would be like, oh my God, Mike lies about his kid being a robot. Yo, I don't know. That's the old gossipy, the gossipy wine mom's like, I don't know if you heard, but Billy's son's a It's like, oh, if you heard of it, Billy's son's a robot. And then eventually they would develop a robot that could grow on its own. And a robot that eats. Because in this case scenario, every year you'll have to go in and they give you the year-older version. Yeah, but it can't be abrupt.
Starting point is 01:50:38 You have to go on vacation. Because otherwise people... I didn't notice your kid got so big so quick. Yeah, you do have to go on vacation and come back. Yeah. A crazy vacation. Oh, my God. Put some hair on his chest, literally.
Starting point is 01:50:57 Literally. Put some hair on his chest. I don't know why with... Well, I mean, right now, if you were, for example, like a stock trader, you know what I mean? I mean, a million jobs like this, but like a stock trader, it's generally too, you know, especially with like technical analysis, like it's two robots trading against each other already, kind of. You know, that's why it's. Yeah, it's a lot of that, right? They're automated trades.
Starting point is 01:51:18 Idiots like me just getting like dummied by a bunch of robot traders, really. Well, they literally. do you what's this to sofia didn't you didn't we didn't you this has come up before right um so which one is this this is sofia the robot but they have a version called little sofia oh wow that's like the fucking black mirror with miley cyrus that episode's amazing. Look what it can do. It can read facial recognition, tracking. Read wide range of facial expressions, interactive chat with user, interacts with kids while teaching STEM, Tell jokes!
Starting point is 01:51:55 and AI, walks, facial tracking and recognition, tells stories, jokes, plays games, sings, AR function that allows users to take a perfect selfie. That's a funny one. Programmable with Blockly and Python. So we're here. Wow. We did it.
Starting point is 01:52:18 So that's a little robot friend. So how long before that looks like a real person? Not that long. 10 years. Well, yeah, you're going to need a... Ten years is going to be that Megan thing. I mean, I guess with all of these things, it's like the women robots. It's until some porn company...
Starting point is 01:52:34 I mean, the first use case for all of this stuff is always in the porn world. Oh, yeah, for sure. Well, the AI face swaps with porn now are already a problem. Yeah. People are doing it to fitness influencers. There's a guy that, I don't know if you saw, but he's like a big Twitch streamer, but he basically got caught because he was showing,
Starting point is 01:52:52 kind of like showing his screen the way you guys show your screen. And one of the tabs was him, you know, looking at deep fake porn of like essentially like a friend of his. Oh no. Yeah. And he did like a crying apology and like, yeah, yeah. It's a weird thing, right? Right.
Starting point is 01:53:07 What are the rules on all that stuff? Like, what do you do? What's the, is it the guy making it or is the guy that consumes it that gets a problem? Like if it comes up on your, cause a lot of these, they're like unreal sites and it's like, here's an advertisement for it. So it's like, if you click it, do they bust into your house? Like now you're going to jail. Right.
Starting point is 01:53:23 Right. Is it, are you consuming something that's illegal and is it akin to porn underage porn yeah whose fault is it they put it on the site or whatever right if you have child porn on your hard drive you're fucked yeah you're fucked so like would it be the same as that if you have revenge porn or fake ar porn and i don't think they know i will say that one thing you always say, like, I didn't know about this, but I know a guy that is like in, like works kind of in, I don't know, child porn,
Starting point is 01:53:50 I don't know what they call it. Right. Yeah, but he basically said, he was like, when a guy gets busted, like, and you hear about it, and you know, a lot of times there'll be like a guy, yeah, he had child porn on his computer.
Starting point is 01:54:00 And a lot of times people will be like, well, you know, what if like it was a virus? There's whatever people will say. They go, if they bust someone, generally they've been watching that guy for like six months. It's like, it wasn't a photo. This was...
Starting point is 01:54:12 Right. An investigation. Apparently they're pretty careful with it because they know like just the arrest, like this guy's life's over. You know what I mean? So allegedly they're like pretty due diligent before they're not like too willy nilly with
Starting point is 01:54:25 this stuff. Well, I'd imagine they would have to be. Yeah. Well, sometimes I would have, you know, sometimes I don't give them the benefit of the doubt cops or whatever. But how does that, like, what is the, where's the face swap stuff fit in with all the other stuff? Like, cause it seems like.
Starting point is 01:54:40 What do you think? I don't know. I don't know. Because it's one of those things like, would you be curious to see a young raquel welch in a porno film right of course you would be if you would you were given the option but if you knew it wasn't really her and it was all just ai and face swap and it was just some modern porn star like doesn't do a crazy ton for me to be honest right but here's the thing is like she's she's dead now unfortunately but recently died is that illegal and yes right i would imagine is it i don't know is it immoral
Starting point is 01:55:13 for you to watch it seeing as she doesn't even exist anymore she's not alive anymore is it immoral for you to watch it curiously i think it's a real problem if you're jerking off to that on a regular basis that's's weird. Yeah. That's fucking weird. I guess. Because it's not really a person. Okay. Well, then now you go the extreme.
Starting point is 01:55:28 You go, what about a guy whose wife died and he's been jerking off thinking of her and then he makes the deep fake of her? Oh, boy. Yeah. That's weird. I don't know. They're just like, yeah. That's just like, how are they?
Starting point is 01:55:38 What's harm, right? What becomes harm? You know, if you're alive and someone's doing that, or if your family's alive and they find out that you're doing harm to those people, like if you're her daughter and she's dead, and now someone's doing a porn of your mom, it's kind of fucked. That's one of those things where I feel like there's certain issues where you're kind of like looking at, you know, the government, and you're like, they're messing this up.
Starting point is 01:56:05 And then there's certain issues like that where you're like, glad I don't have that job. Yeah, who's going to regulate that? Yeah, glad I'm not the guy figuring that one out. And I think it's going to be able to be generated in real time, which is going to be even more bizarre. What I think is, you know, if you're really concerned and you're like, God, I hope nobody uses my face in a face swap of some porn, that's one thing. But I think what they're going to be able to do is to generate artificial porn, not like face swap porn, but like every scenario, just like you're getting chat GBT write-out sentences. You can get artificial intelligence to create a fantasy porn of a guy who's a pro wrestling fan who likes to suck dick at WrestleMania. And you could orchestrate it out where he's got headphones on, listening to the Rolling Stones, sucking cock all across the country.
Starting point is 01:57:01 That could be your thing. He's in a convertible and he's just blowing the guy next to him while he's driving. He's having the time of his life. You could do that. You could have. And then he gets eaten by crocodiles. The end. Make anything you want. Whatever you want.
Starting point is 01:57:14 I don't think there's going to be a limitation. I think with artificial intelligence, what they're doing right now just with animation and with art, AI art is bizarrely good. It's bizarrely effective. How they can take a conglomeration of other people's images and develop an AI that can recreate the style. I think that's their best thing right now that I've watched. What they did with Alex Gray is insane. Yeah, I don't know that one specifically, but what happened with that?
Starting point is 01:57:41 See if you can pull that up, because Alex Gray is this visionary, psychedelic artist amazing amazing stuff and they very cool did a bunch of images in his style and they look exactly like something he would make yeah and i think they did it in a couple of minutes that's one look at that that's insane couple minutes it's perfectly it looks exactly like an alex gray work it's amazing it looks exactly like an Alex Grey work it's amazing it's so beautiful and for someone to say that it's not be all that's not beautiful because a computer made it you're crazy you know there is something beautiful that is so that one's killer that's amazing I get it
Starting point is 01:58:19 AI made it I get it it's not as cool as Alex make it look at that face look at that look at that third Eye there is something that's cool. Yeah, that's fucking incredible man Now it's gonna be able to do that animated and it's gonna be able to say whatever you want it to say It'll create a whole world like you could come up with protagonists. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna live in a fake world man occupied by virtual reality creatures that are indistinguishable. And you're going to create them your own self. You're going to decide
Starting point is 01:58:50 what they do, what they don't do. I'm the best baseball player in the world. You're the best baseball player in the world. And you just step up to the plate and crack home runs and blue ladies with third eyes come down and blow you. And everybody cheers for you. They carry you around.
Starting point is 01:59:05 Mini-golfing champion of the metaverse. Yeah. You can do it. You can do whatever you want in the future. That's going to be very, very strange. I think they're already in animation getting pretty involved. My cousin's actually an animator. He directed BoJack Horseman and a lot of these kind of shows.
Starting point is 01:59:22 That's a wild show. Yeah, it's kind of cool, right? Yeah, he did a little trip tank and a bunch of cool stuff. But yeah, it's like they're already super trying to figure out how to, I guess, replace them all. Replace their job. Yo, that is so funny being the guy. Oh, the animators? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:59:36 The animators are fucked. A lot of them already, I mean, have already outsourced it to India or China or a lot of these places. I mean, it's very, you know, I talk to a lot of people that are very bullish on like India and, you know, especially I hire a lot of people from outside of North America. And you're just like, why wouldn't you? It's kind of interesting. Yeah. Well, I mean, the problem with this kind of thing is like, what are those people going to do if their jobs all go away? Like, if you, I mean, how many animators are going to be out of work like that with AI?
Starting point is 02:00:11 And how many illustrators? Like, if anybody wants to do an advertisement for something, you could use AI and they could do it so quickly. You could have it do it in a very specific style. You could put in what you wanted to say. It'd give you multiple versions of it. Yeah. It's so good, man. And, like, like what happens all those people that are graphic artists like what happens all those people that are illustrators what happens all these people that are animators like what happens and that's just one industry like this was something that andrew yang talked
Starting point is 02:00:38 about quite a while ago and he talked about it with automation yeah you know and that we're going to have ai and automation and jobs are all going to yeah you know and that we're gonna have ai and automation and jobs are all going to be taken over by computers we're going to have a lot of people that are out of work and so his solution or one of the solutions was universal basic income but i think that that's a that's a real possibility now in our lifetime that giant swaths of the population will be no longer useful because they were truck drivers. And now every truck's electric and automated.
Starting point is 02:01:08 They were, uh, they worked in a, of assembly line. Now every assembly line is completely automated. It goes, it goes back and forth with me because like we also, I can think of 80 jobs,
Starting point is 02:01:20 including ones I have that didn't exist, you know, seven years ago. Right. So it's like, I mean, I've been laughing like there's a guy on tick-tock that he just jiggles his belly he's a Turkish guy he has 80 million followers and he's now he's like he literally can go to a restaurant in that restaurants like the number one right he just does a video jiggle in his belly and you go that
Starting point is 02:01:38 wasn't a job eight years ago so there's a lot of seen that guy this guy rules it's hilarious so see we can find him Jamie you know I mean I've seen that guy this guy rules it's hilarious see if we can find him Jamie you know I mean crypto trader wasn't a job for a lot of people 8 years ago I don't think it's a job anymore I think it went away oh yeah I have seen that guy
Starting point is 02:01:57 this guy rules right that wasn't a job before but Andrew Yang I think he's right in the sense that you go, this has happened before and there'll be new jobs, but you go, and with how much pain? How many guys? If you're 50 years old and you're a trucker, would you be getting a new job as a belly jiggler?
Starting point is 02:02:13 I don't know. How many guys have been good at jiggling their belly but never really pursued it and now they're so pissed? Like, fuck, I was the man. At college. Back in college, I was that guy. I was the belly jiggler guy. I just didn't know to stick with it.
Starting point is 02:02:32 There's something about watching someone who looks like they're having a good time. Live your dream. Yeah. Something about watching someone who looks like they're having a good time makes you have a good time. Sure. You know? I mean, 100%.
Starting point is 02:02:44 Yeah. And I always think of like, just like, like even, you know, like Jackass, all the like smashing skateboards on heads and stuff like that.
Starting point is 02:02:51 Yes. Every town had nine guys that smashed a skateboard on a head. Yeah. They didn't get to be Jackass though. I know. If you think about all the guys that got together
Starting point is 02:02:58 and did all those stunts, we all know a guy like that. Yeah, yeah. Everybody somewhere knows the guy that would jump off the roof. For sure. into the snow bank.
Starting point is 02:03:08 Fucking maniacs, man. But that's the thing about boys, too. When boys get together when they're young, they would try to push each other to who could do the wilder shit. I loved it, yeah. That's how they learned how to do flips with BMX bikes and shit. Of course. Fuck, dude. That is a hard way to get hurt.
Starting point is 02:03:24 The one guy that had to jump off the highest thing. Bro, doing a flip on a bike, like, that is so next level crazy. You're going on a ramp in a bicycle and going over the top. Of course. Jesus! What happens if you land wrong? And you're going to land wrong the first time. The bike one's the toughest.
Starting point is 02:03:42 Bro, those guys are nuts. Yeah, and then they kind of, you know, combined that with like fun dude culture. Yeah. Actually, I did, you've had Steve on here a bunch, right? Steve-o?
Starting point is 02:03:51 Yeah, I love Steve-o. I actually, when I was like first starting, because I was doing like wild, not like stunts, like getting kicked out of malls and all that kind of, you know, we were doing
Starting point is 02:03:58 all these like wild, crazy videos. And he like was in one of my TV shows and he like brought me on some dates when I was like two years into comedy. Right. And he shows up and he was like, OK, for before I come up, he was like, OK, I'm going to blow fire off your head. So he's like, well, put this stuff on your head and I'll blow fire. And I was like, I'm more of like a getting kicked out of malls type crazy.
Starting point is 02:04:17 I don't know if I do all this stuff. And then he was like, no, it's fine. It's fine. And then he goes, he was like, OK, what do we need? We need like some fluid or whatever. He's like, can you go to the CVS and grab some fluid and i'm like well you don't have like a kit or anything and he just like jimmy rigged like some stuff together and then put it on my head and then blows this like enormous flame and he just like does this and he's like this is the kind of crazy
Starting point is 02:04:37 stuff that they like and with a guy that's never done this in his life. Jesus. It's funny how many things become popular and why. How about the Catch Me Outside girl? Isn't that wild? One episode of Dr. Phil and now she's rich as fuck. Now she's living in a mansion. She's balling out of control. I know.
Starting point is 02:05:00 So I like it. I mean, I love it. Isn't that wild though? How does that happen? How do those island boys get famous? Jamie made an audible noise over there. Jamie, you don't like the island boys? Come on, they're great. Don't be hating. It's the question to the answer, just like, how does something like that become famous?
Starting point is 02:05:19 Right, sure. No, but no one knows, right? That's the thing. Yeah, at any point in time, something can break through, like the fat jiggle guy. Fat jiggle guy. And then they become huge. Or the guy, remember with the guy with the cranberry juice on the skateboard? Wait, what?
Starting point is 02:05:33 Yeah. No, I don't know this. Yeah, Fleetwood Mac. He was listening to Fleetwood Mac. And he just has cranberry juice. And he was drinking cranberry juice on a skateboard, and it became like the most viral video. You don't know it? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:05:45 Okay, watch this. Look at this dude. Look at him. Just a big old jug of cranberry juice and he's skateboarding. Yeah, why does this not have three V's? Because this. Okay. Because he smiled at the end.
Starting point is 02:06:06 But it's also because he's having a good time. Yeah, what a badass. Ryan, everybody wants to have a good time. Yeah. That looks like a great fucking time. That looks like a time you're going to think about long after it's gone. Yeah. Just cruising on a skateboard, drinking some fucking cranberry juice.
Starting point is 02:06:20 The good times. Singing along to Fleetwood Mac. Yeah, it's a warm day. Feel good. Sun's a warm day feel good sun's out you feel good there is those moments where you're just like
Starting point is 02:06:30 man things are so stressful remember I just remember back in the day I used to have a skateboard and cranberry juice yeah that was the time
Starting point is 02:06:37 getting popular I wonder you know what's funny to think is like what's that guy up to like is he still I think he's still doing really well he's got like we talked about it once he's got an Instagram that guy up to? I think he's still doing really well. We talked about it once. He's got an Instagram
Starting point is 02:06:45 that blew up. So that's the good thing now is nowadays people kind of blow up off their little thing and then it keeps going. So he's got 7 million followers. Oh, Bad Baby has 16 million on Instagram. Look at her in front of her Bentley.
Starting point is 02:07:03 Come on, man. That shit's hilarious. She killed it. She won. She won. Doesn't make sense. Doesn't have to. All she had to do was say, catch me outside. How about that?
Starting point is 02:07:13 And everybody was like, we love her. It kind of does. Did you ever see there was an old sketch where one guy got famous for making, I think it was Aziz Ansari. It was like a human giant years ago. And it was like one guy was there because he got famous for making, I think it was Aziz Ansari, and it was like Human Giant years ago. And it was like one guy was there because he got famous for doing funny faces and the other guy got famous for cutting his dick off.
Starting point is 02:07:31 Oh my God. It was just like, the one guy's like, yeah, every day is hell. And the other guy's like, yeah, I just kind of went like this and now I'm a millionaire, you know? But it's like,
Starting point is 02:07:38 some of it is that with comedy. And even like I live in New York, like all the, you know, the New York drill rappers, like drill rapper in new york like all the you know the new york drill rappers like drill rapper so they're like these rappers and they're all like very popular but they were all you know comedians like kind of say wild stuff and everyone's trying to cancel them and it's like it's there's like this you know there's an ecosystem of you know you want to say kind of be on the edge and then whatever right like drill rappers more like, you got to rap about murdering guys.
Starting point is 02:08:05 Then you actually have to murder guys. Oh Jesus. And they're like, they're like Buzzfeed trying to ruin your career and get you fired is like the, the New York state prosecutor trying to put you in jail for life. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 02:08:17 And all their lyrics are about killing. And it's always like the next hood over. It's like, I killed like, you know, John and the projects like three blocks over yesterday. And it's like, so they're fighting over whether the lyrics can be, you know,
Starting point is 02:08:29 used in court right now. That's a big like topic in New York. But like, it's funny, like they, if you want to be in that game, you have to like talk
Starting point is 02:08:36 about murdering people. And then if you want to talk about murdering people, you actually have to kind of do it or else you're like a phony. And then, yeah, it's like just so,
Starting point is 02:08:43 so crazy. And then the lyrics give you up. Yeah. Oh my God. They're trying to make it's like just so so crazy and then the lyrics give you up yeah oh my god they're trying to make it that's so stressful so when you that guy i'm sure there's some of those guys that are sitting in their cell being like probably could have been the belly jiggling guy that could have been me man jesus christ i got into drill rapping instead why just like there was just that i could have been the guy in the skateboard drinking cranberry juice in the sun. No. Instead.
Starting point is 02:09:09 There's just so many different ways that people break through and become famous today. So it's really interesting. You know, like there's no gatekeeper anymore for any of this shit. Yeah, I love it. TikTok stars and YouTube stars. There's zero gatekeeper. for any of this shit. Yeah, I love it. Just look at TikTok stars and YouTube stars. There's zero gatekeeper. And that's a new thing. It's a new thing.
Starting point is 02:09:29 There's a guy like a Mr. Beast out there that has arguably the biggest show in the world. Yeah. Just this guy who comes up with his own game show and donates all this money and gets people's eyes fixed. And he's genuinely like a really nice guy. And he just does whatever he wants to do. Like that's a new thing, man, that before he wouldn't have existed that he wouldn't have been that guy because there was part of the charm of mr beast was like watching the fact that he's just being himself and he's hanging out with his friends and he's doing this and he's not being
Starting point is 02:10:00 really directed he's not being produced there's no executives leaning into his ear telling him what to do. He's literally just doing whatever he wants to do, and they're all having fun. That's a new fucking thing, man. This is a new thing. So it's a new thing with musicians. It's a new thing with comedians. It's a new thing with everybody.
Starting point is 02:10:18 Yeah. It's wild. It's a crazy time. The gatekeepers are done. Like, they don't exist anymore. Now it's just everything that's good sort of fucking makes it out there into the ether. And everybody sort of moves it around and shares it. There was sort of like specks of it in the past, you know?
Starting point is 02:10:34 Like I always think of, even if you think of what you're describing, because a lot of the times the industry is afraid of what's good right now, so they miss it. You know, obviously you would be an example of that. So then when they catch it afterwards, like it's already fully blown, right? The people get it way before they do.
Starting point is 02:10:50 Way before. Because they want to believe that they're experts, you know? And I, a lot of that goes on trends, right? Like there's a lot of like, I remember some comedians that people bypassed because they didn't think that
Starting point is 02:11:01 they had what it took. They didn't see it, whatever it was. Like, I remember a lot of, there were some people that thought that way about Theo Vaughn and I was like, you're out of your fucking mind. You're missing it. You're missing it. And once you, you're, you're going to miss it to the point where it's going to be too late.
Starting point is 02:11:16 And you're going to have to drop a, just a bag of cash out if you want to get back in the game. But it's that thing where they don't, they don't do it. So they don't see it. Whereas if you do it, like there's things that I just don't do it, so they don't see it. Whereas if you do it, like there's things that I just don't, like I don't understand what someone's doing when they're playing guitar. I can't play guitar at all. So like you could trick me, and you could be playing fake guitar,
Starting point is 02:11:37 and it sounds amazing, but it's you just moving your fingers. I'm like, wow, that guy's amazing. Like I'm not sophisticated in that regard. But some people you can't trick, you know. Some people know what you're doing. And some people know, and you get that with comedy. You get that with music. You get that with everything.
Starting point is 02:11:57 When someone just does something that sort of syncs up with your brain, and you realize, like, what they're doing is really interesting and extraordinary. There's, like, something about that that's,'s like one of the most special things with people when you watch someone perform or you watch someone make something or you watch someone pull something together like wow yeah this is a moment yeah that's a moment man that's exciting yeah and I think that they always come back eventually I mean and a lot of times even at the time there's a few I mean, maybe not in that specific case, but I'm sure like in most, a ton of comedians where they go, I know that guy's funny, I just can't touch it.
Starting point is 02:12:33 You know what I mean? And then the rap thing would be like that. Like how many rap billionaires are there? Because at the time, like radio stations were kind of like, ah, we're rock and roll. I don't know about this rap thing. And you go, they missed it to the point where now they all got like rich. Dude, Cypress Hill. Can't get on board with it.
Starting point is 02:12:47 Cypress Hill. I had B-Real here the other day. He was talking about it. They missed him. They didn't see it. Those record executives had this idea of what rap sounded like in their head, and Cypress Hill was so unique that they didn't see it. And then, boom, they were a hit right out of the gate.
Starting point is 02:13:03 And they're like, fuck! They just missed it that happens with comics that happens with it's just it's hard if you don't do it if you do it like you do comedy so if you see someone who's doing really well you see like Shane Gillis killing you're like oh wow that's good
Starting point is 02:13:17 you see these little like things yeah but if you don't do it you just laugh or don't laugh or everybody tells you it's good so so you have to go along with it. There's a little bit of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? It's hard.
Starting point is 02:13:28 It's hard to judge it right. Everyone seems to love this guy. Bro, there was a few people I remember back in the day where people were convinced that they were going to be successful. I was like, what are you saying? Are you crazy? Like, this is all just tricks and, like, memorizing a bunch of words in a row. Oh, the long. That was an 80s thing, right?
Starting point is 02:13:45 The, like, the long monologue with the applause break. Oh my God. I was like, what are you seeing? That was the most pretentious move in comedy. It was a weird move. Because it's not like you can't do that every now and then. Every move has a place. You can have a bit with that as an element.
Starting point is 02:14:02 Yes. But you can't have all your bits like that. That's just too crazy. And there was a few guys that had just like duped some people. They just duped and they weren't really doing the work. They were just like doing the little tricks. I have like, I've like worked with a lot of editors because, you know, like so much of what I do is make scripts and stuff.
Starting point is 02:14:20 And one of the big things I'm always like talking to editors about is that like with the tricks, you're like, let's say something silly is like, you know, if someone, if you put sad music over someone talking, that's kind of funny sometimes, you know what I mean? And you're like, okay, that's one thing. So use that one of every 30 times. You know what I mean? Right. You'd be like with a comic, you'd be like, yeah, that's one of 80 tricks you should have. And like, use them if you need to, like if you're sinking or you know what I mean?
Starting point is 02:14:43 And I think that, yeah, but like the three tricks, that's not enough tricks. That's just not enough tricks. You need some more tricks. Yeah. Yeah, but it's like comics generally can see when someone's going to be a good comic. That's why Kill Tony's such a good show. Comics can generally recognize when someone has potential. You can see they have that.
Starting point is 02:15:02 There's a little something there. Yeah. It's hard for agents to see that spark. I don't think they see it as quickly as we see it. I think some of them are really good fans of comedy and they kind of get it. Maybe they have like an inkling towards it. But unless you've actually done it,
Starting point is 02:15:17 I don't know. I don't know how much you really see. They're not, they're like, they're tuned into the second layer of culture. And this is why like comedians i feel like every so when you're you know every night you're doing an audience you know what normal people think right people argue on the internet but you're there you know what
Starting point is 02:15:35 like a room full of people with different like if i say this like do normal people feel that like covid lockdowns were too much or do normal people kind of not care? Like what is, you know, what is a room full of normal people think? And then, so I think you kind of, you're really like tapped in on like the cultural level and then you kind of, you can tap in on what a comedian you go, oh, I see that comedian's like, he's digging right now and he's on like a, he's got, you know, and what's like the money collector and you're like, oh, that guy's on a pot of silver right now. You know, he's, so I think you're tapped in because you're, you know what he's looking for and you can see when that guy's on a pot of silver right now you know he's so i think you're tapped in because you're you know what he's looking for and you can see when someone else found it
Starting point is 02:16:08 yeah there's that and there's um i guess you know you just see that someone's putting together something that's you know if you don't do comedy don't understand like how jokes are really structured like how what what's the best way to get to the premise like what's an elegant path there's things like you might not be seeing great way to yeah like you know when someone will be an open mic or like a kill tony set and they'll have an elegant path to a premise like oh like i like the way this person thinks yeah like you're thinking in an interesting way it's a fun way and it's very clever and And the bit was not bad. Like, ha, that pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty good. And you could tell them afterwards, like,
Starting point is 02:16:48 Hey man, you got something. Something's there. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not going to, you don't need more than that, but yeah. Yeah. I don't know if agents will pick that up or executives will pick that up. Executives are like the last to pick it up. They're the worst at picking it up. They've always got like notes and i remember i was in a terrible movie once and this kid who was the star of the movie this executive from disney who had uh he had i think he was from disney he had suspenders on and cuff links and like a fifty thousand dollar watch on and he's doing like act outs to this guy and telling this guy how to do the scene. Oh, okay. There you go. It is. And it was terrible. And I was watching.
Starting point is 02:17:27 What are you doing? Oh, my God. So because this guy who is this young guy who is the star of the movie, he wasn't famous yet. So they could just tell him what to do. Sure. So he was really funny. But they would get in like, no, I want you to walk in the room. I'm like, what is happening? And this guy like acts it out and like, in like no. I want you to walk in the room. I'm like what is happening?
Starting point is 02:17:46 And the guy like acts it out and like oh no And I'm and I'm sitting there like going this is gonna be a disaster Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's gonna be a disaster. Yeah, I've seen this a million times Yeah, I know how this ends and exactly it was correct. They ruined the whole thing that you know It is a thing that happens though.. They think of it like the computers. That's what they think of it like. If you get people that are in that position to dictate whether or not art gets made or not, they start getting this very self-righteous, very, you know, like, I understand culture.
Starting point is 02:18:18 I understand. Especially at a hit. Yeah. Oh, my God. I mean, how do you think Harvey Weinstein got to where he was at? He was putting out banger after banger. You ought to put out bangers. Yeah. Oh, my God. I mean, how do you think Harvey Weinstein got to where he was at? He was putting out banger after banger. You ought to put out bangers. He was putting out banger after banger while being a super creep.
Starting point is 02:18:31 That operation definitely doesn't work as good when you're like, meet me in the hotel room. She's like, four people saw your last movie. Exactly. Well, I mean, I don't know what he was promising them, right? Like, he was promising them and supposedly delivering to some of them. That was a part of what he was doing. But the movies, they were so goddamn good that even though people knew he was a fucking creep, they still wanted to work with him. What were some of his biggest bangers?
Starting point is 02:18:59 Pulp Fiction. Pulp Fiction. Dude. I mean, he did all the Tarantino movies Right except Did he do the last one Did he do Once Upon a Time in Hollywood Dude he did
Starting point is 02:19:11 He's done so many fucking movies There is also that executive level at his level Where you're like you're not that involved In the movie by at some point Who knows what it looks like before But those people that have the power to decide Whether something gets made or not made or someone gets cast or not cast.
Starting point is 02:19:27 Just the ego that comes with that. And if you keep making banger after banger and you're probably doing, Bo! Yeah. You're getting fucking crazy. The party. You got a stint in your heart
Starting point is 02:19:39 and you're fucking grinding your teeth and you're at Hollywood parties. Yeah. Oh my God. That is the old that's Hollywood forever and ever it's been Hollywood forever right when you think about Hollywood you think of the casting couch
Starting point is 02:19:51 like people think about these parties and blow yeah parties and blow and people are banging each other and having parties in the hills they're just degenerates and they were making the films that kept the moral compass of the nation, which is really kind of wild. Yeah, like
Starting point is 02:20:07 lawyers covering up dead bodies, like, you know? No, it is like, I remember when there's like one of the big, like, gatekeeper guys in Canada when I started in comedy. I was like, I signed with one of the things and he goes, hey, when you start like people don't really know who you are that much he goes I think your set would be better if he goes say you're like a mix of one thing and another thing
Starting point is 02:20:32 and he told me that I was like yeah I know that's available to do oh my god like he told me that like I like wasn't aware that I could say like I know what you're thinking I'm a cross between oh my god I'm a cross between you know it's a fucking I don't know is that Galvin whatever right but like so yeah they think that and you're like in his mind he was actually telling me like a hot
Starting point is 02:20:58 you know take it's always weird when you see the guy who's like the frustrated host who's like not that good who is giving open micers shit advice. The worst advice you could possibly get is from that guy. Oh, no. Like I see that coming. I remember getting advice from a guy like that.
Starting point is 02:21:16 There's people that just wanted to give you advice because they didn't like the path that you were on. Or they were telling – this one guy was telling me that what I was doing was like, I was getting cheaper laughs because I was swearing. The work clean guy. The work clean guy. I had to figure out how to say my jokes without a swear. And he had an example that he did. He said, I used to tell it like this with a swear. And he goes, but now I say it like this.
Starting point is 02:21:42 I go, you should go back and do it the first way. It makes more sense. Who talks without swears? Ever. So I like this. I go, you should go back and do it the first way. It makes more sense. Who talks without swears? Ever. So I was saying, I go, the guys that I like, they're always, they swore. Yeah, sometimes you can overdo it. I like Dice Clay and Sam Kinison and Richard Pryor. He's like, well, you're not Dice Clay.
Starting point is 02:21:59 And I'm like, oh my God, dude. Like, you're not listening to me. Yeah, I'm just starting. There's like a type of art form that I like. Yeah, there's a genre. And that's what I want to practice. I actually once, that reminds me so much of one time,
Starting point is 02:22:11 I think it was like Seinfeld and Marin or something. They were having this argument about, he was saying like, you know, the funny is funny and that's that. And I think the other, Marin, one of them was saying was like, well, no,
Starting point is 02:22:22 there's types of funny and some is better. And it was just like, you guys are talking about, it was like literally two guys saying like, well, jazz is better. And another guy's being like, well, metal's better. And like, it was just like, yeah, there's two different genres. If you're talking about like airplane stuff, yes, obviously like one laugh might not be that better than the other. But if you're talking about certain things, like, yeah, the observation that hasn't been said 50 times is obviously like a better laugh. And so sometimes people are just arguing like what the different genres are like you're saying
Starting point is 02:22:46 You're like I like this type of comedy and he was like that type of comedy is bad clean comedy is the way to do It yeah, but he just wasn't successful and he was worried that other people were correct Which is a thing that people do when they're like struggling and they see like promising open micers This is what I'm sorry. Yeah,'s what I was, that was my example. He didn't like that. He didn't like that I killed. He didn't like that I killed and I was dirty
Starting point is 02:23:09 and he wanted to have a talk to me afterwards. Thoughts. Yeah. Cause he wasn't doing well. He was like barely getting by like as a professional, but he was a working professional and he wanted other people
Starting point is 02:23:19 to follow his path. But for someone to say that like one comedy is better than another kind of comedy, it's just like saying music. oh jazz is better than rock like okay whatever yeah yeah you like this is nonsense like the argument is so stupid that I don't entertain what I don't like so I don't ever say like this kind of comedy is better than that kind of comedy I just say I like this better
Starting point is 02:23:40 this is what I enjoy more but I like that kind of stuff like especially depends your mood do to clean and dirty. And it depends on your mood too sometimes. Clean and dirty is so stupid because like Gaffigan's one of the funniest guys alive. Of course. And so is Brian Regan. Clean as a whistle. Nate Bargatze. Clean. Yeah. It's a different thing. Clean and fucking hilarious. It doesn't matter.
Starting point is 02:23:58 What type of guy are you? I mean, the best one for you is probably what's the truest to your actual personality. Yeah, if you're going to do comedy. Yeah. You should. And some guys, they don't like, they don't swear a lot. They're just like subtly noticing things. That's hilarious. I heard everybody's got a different thing.
Starting point is 02:24:13 You know, I heard a guy talking about kind of like 2000, maybe like 16, 17. I remember like, or whenever like Jordan Peterson was kind of coming on the scene and he was like, I really don't like that guy. And he was like, and I was like, what do you think of this guy? And he was like, I hate this guy. And I was like, what do you think of this guy? And he was like, I hate this guy. And I was like, what about like Sam Harris or these guys? He's like, I hate that guy. And he's like, I was like, listen up every like public intellectual guy.
Starting point is 02:24:31 I was like, you know, what about like Tim Ferriss? He's like, I don't like him. And I was like, okay, so you just don't like guys that talk. It was like, so if you don't like the genre of metal, I don't care what bands you're into. You know what I mean? If you don't like all of those people, maybe it's you. Yeah. Maybe you're just like.
Starting point is 02:24:44 Maybe you don't like yourself either. maybe if you liked yourself you would like those people and on top of that maybe you just don't like yeah there was there's things that all those people say that i agree with and disagree with but to say that they don't totally yeah not interesting that's so stupid but there's a lot of people out there that are just wholesale negative they're just wholesale negative. They're just wholesale negative about everything. And they think somehow or another that makes them deep. And it doesn't.
Starting point is 02:25:12 It just makes you a cunt. You're just a cunt. You're just a cunty man who is out there spreading about a bunch of negativity about things constantly and consistently. And not doing anything that anybody finds really interesting enough to your needs it's hard to find that one quote who the fuck made that quote that um that all be back no no hold on a second all criticism comes from a tragic result of unmet needs. That's the quote. Which is a great quote. There's a lot to it. Yeah, the tragic result of unmet needs.
Starting point is 02:25:51 That, like, you wish you had more than you do. Yeah. So you get mad at people that are doing better than you. Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need. Marshall Rosenberg. Are your old beliefs preventing you from getting your current needs met? Oh, boy. That sounds like if I click on that link, they're going to get my credit card.
Starting point is 02:26:14 Are your needs met? Are you getting your needs met? But that's a lot of what negative people are. They're just not doing well. That's why they're so negative about everything. You can enjoy things and not enjoy things, but to be, like, really upset about something that's like, does Green Day make you that mad?
Starting point is 02:26:32 You're like, what is it? They're not my favorite either. What is it? What is it that makes you murderous about Green Day? Can you just avoid them and listen to something you do like? You know what I'm saying? Like, there's that fucking dude that just like hates something so much you're like i think you hate yourself as
Starting point is 02:26:50 much as you hate that other thing because you can be cynical and still positive and i think that that's like the mix defined right where you're like you know your buddy that's like hyped up about life he's positive about the future you know you're like oh that's good but you can be like what's going on you don't have to just be like exactly everyone's lying everyone sucks but you can still be positive and I think that's the balance of probably the right balance to strike yeah that's the right balance to strike it's more fun balances but it's hard to navigate and it's on the internet it's so like to be you're rewarded for being just like a fucking idiot
Starting point is 02:27:22 like yeah just being like, this guy stinks. Like, the Green Day stinks? Like, that guy could have like a YouTube page now about how Green Day stinks. Yes. Engaging with people in that way all day long, like in a negative way and complaining about stuff is so commonplace, but so stupid. It's such a giant waste of your energy. It's like you're playing a dumb video game. It's like you're playing some dumb
Starting point is 02:27:47 social video game and you're complaining about stuff. And there's no fighting with each other about stuff. Yeah, that's why even dudes that are kind of like, in comedy scenes, a lot of times they'll be like, oh, they only want women, blah, blah, blah. And it was like, yeah, leave. At some point, it's on you to sort of
Starting point is 02:28:03 take it into your own hands and start your own thing and you know like there's probably no sadder person right now than the person that's like the dude i don't know what you just said they only want women what do you mean so let's say that you were on like a like a festival right and you're like hey we're gonna have 10 comics or whatever most of the dudes in the scene are like men or whatever and then they go you know what we're like this show we're really looking for women i've been on a million conversations for about tv and stuff like we're not looking for. And then, yeah, for a second you might be like, but at some point you're like, OK, so, you know, there's a million things you could do.
Starting point is 02:28:33 Like you could always you can you can always win yourself. There's always like a place for you to do better. So that's where I'm like, it's better to be positive and to just be like, oh, the world's against me. You know? Yeah. Well, I think you can point it out and still be positive. People like to dwell on negative shit. That's why they do it.
Starting point is 02:28:48 And they also think that, like, there's certain things that are going to be big milestones, like if they get into a festival. It's going to propel them to the next stage. And that's what they really want. They really want to be propelled to the next stage. But really, all I think anybody who's doing anything should be focusing on is whatever the fuck you're doing, try to do it the best you can. And that's what you can control. You can't control festivals.
Starting point is 02:29:09 You can't control all that other shit. No. You can't control whether or not you kill. So if you're going up all the time and your set keeps getting better and you're fucking murdering it, that's great. Yeah. That's great. Concentrate on that. And then just be undeniable.
Starting point is 02:29:21 Get to a point where you don't have to think about it anymore. And then before you know it, they'll be asking you to do stuff before you know it it's not doesn't take that long and then you're in a completely different situation and then just keep going and you won't even care at that point just keep going and some guys keep going and some guys don't some people fall apart yeah the effects you know i feel like sometimes when you you just keep going, there's like little things I feel like. One thing that I feel like you would, it's interesting that you don't even probably know, but in Toronto, the main comedy club, the corner comedy club that we would do every night. Yuck Yucks?
Starting point is 02:29:55 Yuck Yucks is like the big chain. One of the ones that we would do a lot was the corner comedy club. So we did both. Oh, the corner comedy club. Yeah, and do you remember you used to come to the underground and it was like the weed scene? Yeah, that was fun. And you would do that. So this guy, Joe, who we used to do all this comedy club, he met someone through the Death
Starting point is 02:30:10 Squad message boards. Oh. And that guy, they, I think, went to one of your shows or whatever. They were like hanging out. They toured together. That guy said he was like, I want to start a comedy club. The guy's like, I got money. I'll fund it.
Starting point is 02:30:22 So through, randomly through like one of your message boards, guys met, guy funded another guy, made a comedy club. The guy's like, I got money. I'll fund it. So randomly through one of your message boards, guys met, guy funded another guy, made a comedy club. Now there was two of them, and it's one of the main comedy clubs that a lot of people have become popular through that one little club. Oh, that's amazing.
Starting point is 02:30:35 And you wouldn't even know that. You know what I mean? No, I wouldn't know that. That's amazing, though. That's cool. Isn't that cool? Yeah, that is cool. Yeah, having comedy communities, man,
Starting point is 02:30:43 is the fucking shit. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's so important. When you don't have a good community, it's so hard to enjoy it. Yeah. You know, like part of like the fun of doing comedy is hanging out with comics. It's like a giant part of it. Like these shows that we do at the Vulcan.
Starting point is 02:30:58 So cool. Shows that we'll do in town when my club opens up. It's like we're just having fun. We're all having fun together. You know what's funny every every little comedy scene when you're starting has the same like 10 characters you know i mean there's like one guy that used to be in jail play yeah like it kind of is just like one guy that used to be in jail like a guy who's a rodeo guy retired yeah yeah it's all the characters like
Starting point is 02:31:21 one guy that doesn't speak english that well, a dentist. Everybody's got a dentist. Right, right, right. So it is funny. One guy with a handicap. Yeah. The scenes that, you know, I think is, you know, like people, like comedians, I'll get in trouble a little bit for the shit they say. It always makes me laugh if you ever had to say that in a movie. Like imagine explaining movies from scratch.
Starting point is 02:31:41 I know. Right. Or in pretending that these scenes in movies where you do something horrible, you're actually doing that. Yeah. And you actually think that way. I know. I mean, think about some of the violence that we'll watch in films, like in Once Upon a
Starting point is 02:31:54 Time in Hollywood, when Brad Pitt kills this woman with smashing her face into a fireplace. Yeah. Remember that? Of course. Yeah. That is a great movie. That's how he did it, right? I'm not imagining that. remember thinking like what and I remember thinking only Quentin Tarantino can get away with this because he's kind of
Starting point is 02:32:16 Grandfathered in yeah doing this kind of like insane uber violence and have you know? Brad Pitt's character doing that to a woman like what the fuck he did happen, right? He does a lot And he gets away with the most and then imagine you were like, you know, the way that comedy sort of, you defend it. Imagine like a alien came down and you're explaining what movies are and you're like, hey, so we auditioned 10 guys and then we get them to rape a girl and people watch this before they go to sleep. You're just like, what? You know, it seems like even crazier, you know? It seems completely crazy.
Starting point is 02:32:45 All of it seems crazy. It seems crazy that violence is no problem at all in a movie. But sex, like we can't see graphic sex in a movie. Like we separate graphic sex from graphic violence. Yeah. You can have graphic violence in a regular movie. So you can have a regular movie that's really interesting and fascinating, and then it becomes graphically violent, and nobody has a problem with that.
Starting point is 02:33:08 But if you have a regular movie that becomes graphically sexual, like people will get weirded out. Not quite the fireplace, I guess. It's the telephone on the wall. Oh, it's the telephone on the wall. That's right. It might come down. Oh, then her face on the wall smashes the window,
Starting point is 02:33:20 and then there's the fireplace. Yeah. Bro, that is so wild. That is so wild. That is so wild. Whew. So imagine writing that and saying something like that on stage. People will go,
Starting point is 02:33:32 what the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't mean this. This is just like a piece of art that I've created. I've created this fake scenario. Yeah. I don't think it's real. And there's sometimes you kind of do mean it
Starting point is 02:33:42 and sometimes you kind of don't. Yeah, sometimes I kind of don't. There's a little dance we're doing. It's a dance you're doing it's nuanced. Yeah jokes. Yeah, it's called doing stand-up and that's it's the last bastion of mockery of a thing that you can't criticize so like when people get upset that people are telling trans jokes I'm like you have to Yes, you have to. Yes, especially now. You have to.
Starting point is 02:34:05 You have to. And if you're going to get mad at the way Dave Chappelle phrased it, that's really what's bothering you? Sure. His version of it, which is basically a love letter to his friend who committed suicide,
Starting point is 02:34:18 who is trans, who supported him and got bullied online about it. That's what the story's about when he's telling it. Yeah. You find that transphobic? Like, this is crazy.
Starting point is 02:34:28 Yeah, and especially in a place where you're like, if you are doing any sort of, you know, comedy that you want to talk about the stuff, you know, you want to talk about everything, and they go, hey, there's this one thing you're going to be in big trouble if you don't talk, if you talk about it, and then you don't, like, all right, well, ha, like that, there's no way that's
Starting point is 02:34:47 good cultural commentary. You go all, all void. That's the guy that works for, you know, the government. And he was like, don't talk about the Pfizer thing though. You know, it's like, I don't like talking about things that are controversial because I don't want people to feel bad, Ryan. Yeah. And it doesn't even have to be a crazy take where you go to not talk about it.
Starting point is 02:35:03 There's certain things that you like, you're not allowed to bring up anymore. And it's, even have to be a crazy take for you to not talk about it. There's certain things that you're not allowed to bring up anymore. And it's very odd. And I think that if we go further and further down that line, you're going to run out of things that you're not allowed to say. I think normal people. We're in the process of making things that were just like mutually accepted just a few years ago. We'd be completely hostile to say today. It's so funny though.
Starting point is 02:35:26 At a certain point in time, like, come on guys. It did make comedy rule though, like right now it's so funny. I don't know, I do find that, like in my opinion 2016, 15, 16 like day Trump, you know, elected kind of thing that was the peak of where things were getting real wild felt like it was kind of calming down a little bit
Starting point is 02:35:42 COVID it went back to there I remember going from feeling like saying stuff and people being like finally someone said it to kind of feeling like people were like yeah we think that yeah and i could just instead of talking about like relationships in the context of now i just talking about relationships you know and i feel like it's a feeling like that i don't know very many guys men especially i don't know very many that are not like that would be like hey come on don't say that many guys, men especially, I don't know very many that are not like, that would be like, hey, come on, don't say that. Like, I feel like that kind of guy is a bit of a dying breed.
Starting point is 02:36:12 The don't say that guy? Yeah, I feel like the audiences have turned, when someone comes up and they start being like, well, anyways, I was talking to someone that was fat phobic. I feel like you can feel the audience be like, oh, God. If someone woke attached to comedy is a real problem because you've handicapped your comedy. You've put your comedy in like you're only allowed to hit certain RPMs. You're going to have to be offensive to hit some other RPMs. Do you think the right's going to be the more offended moving forward?
Starting point is 02:36:42 No, I think people are going to become more rational about subscribing to very specific ideologies. There's things that you should agree with on both sides. There's things that are uncomfortable truths that are being uttered by both sides. You know, whether it's truths about economic inequality or there's truths about jobs availability, whether it's truth about crime and guns and voting and all this truth on both sides. The real problem is ideologies. It's like we're so fucking tribal that we want to be all this or all that. We either want to be all red or all blue. And people just adopt these ideas and opinions based on that group because it's convenient and it saves them from criticism in their community.
Starting point is 02:37:27 And it's a natural thing that people do. So they'll say things that don't make any fucking sense. And they'll say it because they think this is the thing that you have to say in order to be in the group. And you have to do what the group is telling you to do. And you have to take whatever medications this group is telling you to take. Believe in whatever international conflicts are necessary Yeah, you have to be all in here's what you're mad about abroad Yeah, you have to be all in you have to be you know
Starting point is 02:37:53 It has to be life begins at the moment of conception and you're on the other side It has to be everybody should have a gun all the time This lizard people in a pizza place, they're eating babies. You know, it's QAnon, it's like all of it. And so everybody feels disconnected. It's like, my God, I don't want to be on the far right and I don't want to be on the far left. Yeah, who does?
Starting point is 02:38:19 There's got to be some sort of a rational alternative to the base realities of the world we live in and making it better than it is now. Because the way it is now is kind of cockeyed and fucked up and there's you know giant corporations that are extracting a shitload of money and they're spreading their influence and spreading a narrative that's not necessarily good for all of us but it's really good for making a lot of money maybe we should talk about that we should look at it and go, hey, guys, slow down. Take it easy. Take it easy.
Starting point is 02:38:48 Our whole culture is being dominated by this desire to make more and more money. It's weird. It's weird. And I think it's only until mind reading comes along. And when mind reading comes along, the jig is up. The jig is up. It's up for everybody. Once mind reading comes along, we're up the jig is up for everybody once mind reading comes along we're gonna have a completely different understanding of each other that's in our lifetime that's you know whatever
Starting point is 02:39:12 the fuck it is that 25 years that stinks and because you're right though what people think about on the left and right it's it comes down to like here here's your four things yeah here's your things you know what kind of reminds me of like if you think of like a hospital and like an army hospital and you have like 20,000 beds and then there's like 10 right-wing doctors and 10 right-wing left-wing doctors and they're like,
Starting point is 02:39:31 they're all paying attention to these three and then the left-wing doctors are all paying attention to these three and then there's all these other ones and everyone's like, hey, don't worry about those people over there. And you go, there's lots of stuff going on.
Starting point is 02:39:40 I didn't even know there were left-wing doctors versus right-wing doctors. I never thought about it. I never thought about it. I never thought about it once. I always just thought that was the doctor. Just a doctor. I didn't give a fuck what political affiliation my doctor was. If he's a good orthopedic surgeon, really good at repairing knees, I don't want to say.
Starting point is 02:40:00 Don't care what this guy thinks about pizza again. I think maybe Biden is inventing words. I don't want to say that to him. I don't know what he thinks. I don't want to know. I want to know how good guy thinks about pizza again. I think maybe Biden is inventing words. I don't want to say that to him. I don't know what he thinks. I don't want to know. I want to know how good are you at fixing knees. And you don't want to piss him off either. So you're like, you're a Trump guy or Biden guy?
Starting point is 02:40:13 He's like, Biden guy. You're like, the best. Yeah, let's go. He's great. Fix me. When I'm under, don't take a picture of your dick on my nose. You're not an alien, are you? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 02:40:24 Fucking Biden, huh? Okay, those aren't lizard alien, are you? Oh yeah, fucking Biden, huh? Okay, those aren't lizard scissors, are they? Yeah, you have to agree with your doctor if he's going to cut you open. Whatever you think, bro. You go, Hillary's the best, I'm with her. What do you need? I bet there's people that probably wouldn't have
Starting point is 02:40:37 worked on people if they thought that person was a Trump supporter. 1,000%. Yeah, I guarantee there's someone out there that made that choice. That I can't support you. You're going to have to go to another doctor.
Starting point is 02:40:49 That guy's a piece of shit. They're doing, yeah, they're like, mid-surgery, they see a, they see like a, like a mega tattoo
Starting point is 02:40:58 on their shoulder. What the hell? Undress the guy and go dress him back up again. Wake him up. Wake him up. I'm not doing this. He's got a Trump profile on his ribs.
Starting point is 02:41:09 Like with the crazy hair, like a cartoon profile, the whole side of his body. There's got to be guys like that. How many Trump tattoos are there out there? By the way, I'm living in a glass house with this one. Is there any real heroes that have like a barren Trump tattoo? Like for the real Trump heads? I'm hoping. I'm sure there's people with a barren Trump tattoo for the real Trump heads? I'm hoping. I'm sure there's people with a barren Trump head.
Starting point is 02:41:26 Is there anyone with an Eric Trump tattoo? That's out down there. 100%. There's four or five guys roaming the earth with an Eric Trump tattoo. Guarantee you. Just like real. Right? Yeah, down for the cause.
Starting point is 02:41:37 Jamie, how many Trump tattoos are there? I don't even know how to look that up. Don't be scared to Google Trump tattoo. No, but I mean like... Tattoo of Donald Trump. Yeah, I guess I have the number. Do you want to see one? I can show you one.
Starting point is 02:41:51 We can find out how many Eric Trump tattoos there are. I know, you're probably right. It's not documented. But if you Google tattoo of Donald Trump, I bet there's some bangers. Don't Google how many tattoos of Trump are on Ryan Long's body. How many he got?
Starting point is 02:42:07 Look at this. There's a bunch of them. Tramp stamp. You guys get a Trump tramp stamp? Trump tramp stamp. This is Trump with, oh my God, with tribal design. Look at that. Look at the one.
Starting point is 02:42:19 Look at that Trump with tribal design. That shit is hilarious, dude. Mr. Trump, please come on my lower back, sir. Why does he have that? Ooh, look at that one. Whoa, these are wild. The blood sign. The blood sign.
Starting point is 02:42:34 That's crazy, and it's like Mickey Mouse hands. Is that Kodak Black? He loves Trump. Oh, look at this one. Trump as Captain America. Look at that one right there with the forehead. Yeah. The flag on the forehead.
Starting point is 02:42:48 I wonder if any of these- The one next to it, Jamie? If any of these guys hate him now because of the vaccine stuff. This is a free at that shop. Oh, free. They did a free Trump tattoo? If you get him at the shop. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:43:00 That looks like you. Well, I fucking support Mr. Trump. It's getting real. No matter what. In New Hampshire I love this guy Go back to the one where Trump has the American flag on his forehead That was the one I wanted to see In comedy when you talk about Trump it was talking about culture
Starting point is 02:43:17 But when you talk about Biden it's talking about politics I feel like is there any Biden tattoos That's the question 100% there's Biden tattoos Look at that That's a really good one In terms's Biden tattoos. Look at that. That's a really good one. In terms of the artwork. Look at that.
Starting point is 02:43:27 He's got that face. That's a good face for it. Okay, now Google tattoos. Oh, on the forehead. Wow. He got his forehead done? Come on. Where?
Starting point is 02:43:35 Top, left, down one. Woo. That could be Sharpie. Oh, maybe that's Sharpie. I don't know. That looks like Sharpie. That guy's trolling. That guy's on Reddit right now laughing.
Starting point is 02:43:43 That guy's on his way to the Capitol to mess stuff up. What about Biden tattoos? There's gotta be some. I bet one guy's got his whole back done. No. The kind of guy who did a back Biden tattoo, his whole back done, and Biden will quit halfway into it. It's like, right there.
Starting point is 02:44:01 So it's like a halfway done Biden back tattoo. No one can ever finish them. It's a bunch of pictures of Joe Biden tattoos, so it's not a halfway done Biden back tattoo. No one can ever finish them. It's a bunch of pictures of Joe Biden tattoos, so it's not giving me real results. Tattoos of Joe Biden. I feel like it's going to be like, you know, 65 year old, like CNN lady sort of thing, you know? That's what I'm thinking. Upper West Side. Upper West Side.
Starting point is 02:44:20 Yeah. On her thigh. Got anything? There's one. That guy right there is doing one. It's Biden with like boobs. Steve-O? He has one?
Starting point is 02:44:31 What is that one that says the ape? The one that go back? Right there. Yeah. What is that? That's Biden with a bra on. Oh, Joe Biden's my daddy? What?
Starting point is 02:44:41 What is that? That's disrespectful. It says funny or die. That's not real. That's the president? That's disrespectful. It says funny or die. That's not real. That's the president. That's disrespectful. Yeah. That's just Shia LaBeouf.
Starting point is 02:44:58 Shia LaBeouf? How do you say his name? LaBeouf. That's a wild dude. No Biden tattoos. No one got a tattoo of Biden. That's what I was going to think. I felt like, it doesn't mean that there aren't people that support him, obviously, but I'm
Starting point is 02:45:12 saying that, I think people were just like, okay, that's fine. They were happy that he's there. There are people. But no one was like, I've never met anyone. I met people that were like girls that were like all in on Hillary Clinton, where they were, I'm with her to the max, cried when she lost that kind of thing I don't know a single person that like considers himself like a Biden head you know what I mean I know what you're saying yeah I don't think he's the leader of the party that they support I know I don't take him yeah yeah they just didn't
Starting point is 02:45:39 watch Trump kind of just assumes at this point in time that someone is helping him make decisions Assuming I don't know All of them probably have people make you helping to make decisions, but the extent to which yeah Seems like he needs like some assistance Assistance to he's a put it all together That being said because if he is that old and they're like he's's not capable of doing anything, there is a part of me that's like, good, don't do anything. Whenever the government doesn't do anything, that's a good day, probably. Yeah, but I don't think it ever doesn't do something.
Starting point is 02:46:15 There's so many moving pieces. No, they got other people that are doing stuff behind the back, probably. Well, the thing about the way the government runs that's particularly interesting is that you bring in a new guy to try to run it every four years, which is kind of crazy. It is kind of crazy. Because every other job, you need a while to figure out how to do it right. Yeah. You get cooking. You start figuring out what's the best way to be more efficient.
Starting point is 02:46:36 I'm really better at this now. I understand this because I've experienced that before. It's too bad that people are tyrannical in nature. Because if you could get a guy who's just like the CEO of a company who runs that company like Tim Cook. Tim Cook synonymous with that or another person that's synonymous with a number.
Starting point is 02:46:53 They did a really good job at running a company. You can get that kind of person to be a president. It would be great. Someone who's really good at the job and gets better at it over time and runs it for a long time, but we don't trust you. No. You can't be the president for too long.
Starting point is 02:47:08 It's too tempting to be an evil cunt. Exactly. That's the stuff. There's benefits and costs, right? If they can't fire you, there's benefits. That's why you can do great things. But if you're bad, they can't get rid of you. So there's more civil unrest.
Starting point is 02:47:23 Have you ever worked for the government? Have you ever had a job? I've had a job but never for the government. I've had a bunch of them, right? Because in Canada when I was doing CBC stuff for the government, I've worked for a hockey rink and then I was like a lacrosse referee. So I've worked for the government like a bunch of times.
Starting point is 02:47:38 The amount that people do nothing is the best gig in the world. Really? Some construction sites are like this, but with the government, legitimately I went around and cut grass or whatever when I was in college. If someone does a smoke break, we used to say anyone from any side of the city. If someone's on the other side of the city sparks a cigarette, it's break time for everyone.
Starting point is 02:48:00 Jesus Christ. It was the best. So you just fucked off all the time. No accountability. Legitimately You'd be like You'd take the car out And drive to the thing And then you'd like
Starting point is 02:48:09 Drive 45 minutes And then go Oh I think we forgot something Then you drive back Take the long road Then you drive back And you go Oh it's break time now
Starting point is 02:48:15 Good donuts Wow Oh people were I mean there's normal jobs That are like that too But those ones are a little No people No one's paying attention
Starting point is 02:48:22 The best gig No one feels bad Because it's just taxes that are paying you. Yeah, there's no guy at the end of that or shareholders being like, yo, what have you been doing? Right. Isn't that wild? Because you can never have that, though. You can never have a dominant country that's owned by a dominant company. The way someone can run a business, you could never run a company or a
Starting point is 02:48:46 country china's trying to they're trying to do it yeah they're trying to they're banning everything they don't like but they i think they kind of try to not mess with the markets but that's they made the the government itself like if they they made it open to anybody, instead of just following the system that we have, if people devised alternative voting systems and decided to abandon the old system, how long do you think they would even be able to plan something like that openly before the people of the original system attack them? If they say, we're going to all quit. This one's too powerful. We're going to all quit the government. We're all going to quit fiat money. We're all going to try a completely new system,
Starting point is 02:49:33 but we got to all agree to it. Otherwise it's going to be a civil war. They've, they're in China, they're banning crypto. Like they are, they fight, they fight it. They're banning crypto. I think. Because they want to centralize digital currency, right? I think that they... I actually probably...
Starting point is 02:49:48 I'm going to be talking too much shit if I talk about, like, what China exactly has done with that. But there are a lot of places that are... You know, I think that that's probably the United States government probably, yeah. I mean, why would you want... You're like, hey, there's this new money.
Starting point is 02:50:00 You're going to be like, yeah, well, that's not good. Yeah, if you had the power to ban crypto and you owned all the regular money i'd want to do that yeah i mean obviously right you go and they go hey hey you can't make your own money no one's making their own money here okay but if everybody just agreed yeah how i mean they would fight tooth and nail and it would be kind of what you're experiencing like entertainment it's like they'd be make trying to make you the you know the devil or whatever and then anyone i mean you'd be getting in jail i think a lot of people would end up in prison yeah they would fire you they would prosecute you they would arrest you they would find a way you can't just take over you can't take you can't
Starting point is 02:50:38 privatize all the police you know if someone said listen we're just gonna stop funding the police. We're gonna privatize this we're gonna all pitch in And get like a very yeah high-tech change the whole game complete, you know, yeah, just like a Giant army of well-trained police officers that are privately hired like what? No, you know the city. Are you taking over the city? Yeah, it's our city now. Yeah, if you have one company that has the power to tell these people what to do and what not to do, especially if life and law get a little slippery, like any sort of a natural disaster, mass rioting, looting.
Starting point is 02:51:19 That's how you get them sold. Uh-huh. Things can get crazy. If the power goes out for a few months, imagine. It takes less than that to get people on board with crazy stuff. You're like, yeah, the power went out for an hour. It's like, hey, we're going to need martial law. Dude.
Starting point is 02:51:34 It's so scary. The fact that we have the, we're so lucky that we have the internet. We're so lucky that people can communicate and talk about how bizarre it is that certain factions of the government have so much power over people because they couldn't do that in the past there was no way to talk you just got the paper and talked at work yeah yeah yeah talked at work or if you those fucking people the Rolling Stones concert 69 you talked backstage where he's smoking grass and everybody thought you were crazy yeah come on Ryan just get a job a job, will you? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 02:52:05 What are you going to do? Are you going to follow the Rolling Stones around your whole life? And you're like, these government bureaucrats, they don't even know, man. And then you go, I'm going to change the game. And then that guy, like, 40 years later is like, yeah, it turns out the game is pretty hard to change. Yeah. Turns out you can't change the game.
Starting point is 02:52:18 You can't change the game. Yeah, he comes back. He's just all black and blue in a suit. He goes, they didn't want me changing it, turns out. That's what the internet is doing, though. It is changing the game in the weirdest way. Yeah. Decentralized everything.
Starting point is 02:52:30 It exposes what politics really are in the weirdest way, where it makes people recognize, like, oh my God, you guys are just influenced by massive amounts of money. And you make these decisions, not based on the greater good of the people, but based on whether or not these people who gave you all this money or are donating all this money get what they want. So you're setting things up in a way that's going to be very advantageous to them and you, and then when you retire, you're going to get hundreds of thousands of dollars to speak. And it's all nuts.
Starting point is 02:52:57 It's like this weird money extraction dance that you're watching. And the only way that can keep that going is we have to remain in some sort of constant conflict, whether it's ideological conflict with each other or whether it's like fear of conflict with other countries. That's how you keep the jig up. Shoot down the balloons, Ryan. Shoot down the balloons. The Chinese balloons?
Starting point is 02:53:20 We are being invaded by balloons. The drug spy balloons? Didn't they say that that wasn't really even a Chinese balloon? Is that true? Someone sent me something that looked very wacky that was saying that that balloon was some sort of an observation device from America. The first one I thought China responded to and said that it was aggressive. There's a couple kicking around Canada, too.
Starting point is 02:53:47 That China said they were being aggressive? The United States being aggressive? Shooting it down was aggressive. And then there was a couple that were spotted over China. I was asking my friends yesterday, what happened to all this? And then another one was spotted over Hawaii last night or yesterday. So one of them that was shot down,
Starting point is 02:54:01 China admitted it was theirs? I'm not saying that. That's why I just said it the way I said it I'm not saying they said that they just said that shooting that down was aggressive I don't think they claimed it was ours and because that's kind of interesting we shot our own shit down shooting that down was aggressive Yeah, yeah, yeah playing 4d chess over there if we should if it was theirs like it doesn't make any sense Like it all it doesn't make sense if I'm correct about the kind of resolution that they can get out of those spy satellites i think with those spy satellites they can zoom in on an area and get like very detailed images i think they can do it pretty fucking good now with china though you're like hey you already have access to everyone's phones through tiktok what are the spy balloons watching you're like also they're playing basketball the
Starting point is 02:54:44 but right so the idea of a balloon seems redundant to what they can already do. But it could be a different organization that doesn't have a satellite that launches. Right, it could be all kinds of things. It could be a trillion different things. It could be people seeing, you know, that was a thing that
Starting point is 02:54:59 happened during World War II. The Japanese had launched these bombs on balloons and floated them over to the West Coast. And some of them accidentally got detonated. I want to say it's up in the Pacific Northwest. There was a series of these bombs that they found that didn't detonate and some that did. Bombs fall in Oregon. That's where it was. Japanese attacks on the state.
Starting point is 02:55:27 So they had, see if you can find the story that specifically talks about how they did it. Because there was something that they did with balloons where it carried her across the ocean. And they found, here it is, a diagram of balloons and bomb parts, which is crazy. The balloon diameter is 33.5 feet, volume approximately 19,000 cubic feet material, paraffin-treated paper. What?
Starting point is 02:55:58 The balloon was made out of paper? That's crazy. Japanese 15-kilogram anti-personnel bomb found at Thermopolis, Wyoming. Wow. So they found them. So they just found some of them that had made it over here. And I guess some of them probably blew up. During the next several months, they launched 9,000 balloons, 342 incidents. Wow. Kind of 45 balloon incidences.
Starting point is 02:56:24 So this is an old trick that they've been doing for a minute. Well, this is a different trick. This is a I blow you up with a balloon trick. It's a different trick than I take pictures of you. All this trick in the book. The other one is I take pictures of you from the sky. That's not an evil trick. Classic balloon trick.
Starting point is 02:56:41 As tail as old as time. Right. Nobody really. I mean, if you really give a fuck about the balloon that's watching you, you should give a fuck about the spy satellites. And your phone. Yeah. I don't know what the spy satellites can do.
Starting point is 02:56:53 Where's the spy? Okay, so what's the spy satellite? I've seen some images that are taken from satellites, but I don't know how sophisticated it is. I don't know how readily available it is. I don't know if the satellite has to be in a specific spot in the sky in order for them to get an image of you Okay, yeah, but I think they can get to the point now and when Jamie comes back from the bathroom We'll figure this out. I think they can get to the point now where you could read a license plate from space Oh, yeah, yeah, if that's the case like what does that balloon doing? I mean, it's really better than that
Starting point is 02:57:24 Yeah, what's the difference? Yeah, what they that balloon doing? Is that really better than that? What's the difference? Yeah, what kind of zoom does a balloon have? I mean, I've watched, yeah, or really would be better. It's like, if you watch any show right now, like a cop show, legitimately all they do is like, oh, the guy was here. It's like, okay, here we have a camera everywhere in the world. So they just always have a camera. Always.
Starting point is 02:57:39 But it's kind of what it is. So if you were looking to spy on people, wouldn't it be better to just hack into their cameras? Yeah, for sure. Then put like a, like it just seems like that's the move. Yeah, because you could have like security cameras that are in every restaurant. Every fucking store you go into. Yeah, hacking all that stuff.
Starting point is 02:57:54 What are they spying on? Like, okay, let's see how fat the women are getting at this store. Do you think their technology would increase and the sophistication would continue to increase and the sophistication would continue to increase if it got to a point where people and the technology that we created are so good that you can't stop them from interacting with each other. Like there's no way to stop people from interacting with each other. That's the trouble. Because they're too powerful. So anyone can interact with anyone at any time through this kind of technology, and you're not going to be able to stop it. So you don't have any secrets anymore.
Starting point is 02:58:29 You don't have any photos that I haven't seen. You don't have any emails that I haven't read. Everybody has access to everybody's communication. The way God intended. In some weird psychic way. that's the first steps of mind reading is the the sharing of data that computer technology reaches a certain level where it's impossible to have anything that's encrypted it's impossible to keep anything i mean being seen by some other technology i think that i think that as a society we would even like that we'd think oh good no one could tell a secret then the first time your wife's
Starting point is 02:59:01 like how do i look and you're. Well, worse than that is money. Where's the money go then? If the money is just digital. If the money is all digital and everyone has access to everything, that means everybody has access to that money. Well, no, because you would still be- No, no, no, no, no, no. Not in my artificial world.
Starting point is 02:59:19 In your world- In my artificial world, there is no- we are communists. So you own nothing. No one owns anything because you're attached this matrix of ideas that's inescapable you're all completely totally you're you're all dealing with you're just dealing with numbers and so anyone has access to these numbers whether it's numbers for finances or numbers for everything there's there's no getting away from it and then this is all attached in your Neuralink, essentially.
Starting point is 02:59:46 Are you wearing clothes? Probably. Okay. I never wear clothes. And you basically get government-issued money. Where does all the money come from? Yeah. And then we just-
Starting point is 02:59:54 Most people can still have jobs. We just all have manual labor jobs that we have to do to feed the machine. And then you can't quit them because you're just like, oh, my car broke. You're like, it didn't, though. I saw. It's like you can't even take a day off. You can't lie. People read your minds. Yeah. Well, that sounds like the worst nightmare.
Starting point is 03:00:10 But there is no... Also, the other part of that, there isn't very much manual labor to be done, probably in this new society. Right, because it's all going to be done by robots. Yeah. But there'll be no jobs either. So it's like, what do you do to deserve your monthly stipend? You get worse than manual labor you get like?
Starting point is 03:00:25 Manual labor for no purpose you get like break the rocks for no we don't even need the rocks We just want you to break them to demean you and a certain point in time I would bet that you wouldn't even be able to program the artificial intelligence anymore because it would be like listen stupid We'll take it from here. Yeah, like stop you're not even necessary So we're like these dummies that are hanging around with technological gods, just humor us and keep us alive and keep feeding us oatmeal. Yeah, you're just, that's the only reason. But I think there would be, you know, when you talk about the, you know, you can't lie,
Starting point is 03:01:00 the, you know, the dude that's just going to like the tell it like it is guy probably would be a popular dude in that scenario. There'd be a place for that guy. He goes, I guess if... There's always going to be a revolution towards... Right. Then there's the revolution against this... Who's in
Starting point is 03:01:18 charge of this whole thing? Let's tear it down. Why are they in charge? Dude, I think we're going to be like 28 days later when the the chimps broke out of the lab that's the humans yeah that's us we're gonna we're gonna be trying to break break away from the artificial intelligence that has us controlled and locked up i think so it's gonna get to the point where artificial intelligence is gonna go look we're tired of you polluting the air we're tired of you uh sucking all the cobalt out of the ground.
Starting point is 03:01:45 Yeah. Tired of making people slave labor. You've programmed us to think that we need to stop anyone that's polluting the earth. Well, we figured out a pretty good way to stop them, kill them. Here's the good news. We're not going to kill you. The bad news is you can't have kids. No one.
Starting point is 03:01:59 We're going to stop this with this. When you people die, you'll be the last people. People are like, oh, my God, what do we do? Well, we can't fight them. They have all the nuclear weapons and they can vaporize us from the sky. Yeah, you're just like, kids are done. And we're sending radiation to everyone's dick. That whole sperm thing's over.
Starting point is 03:02:17 Yeah. You can't even have a fake robot baby because we don't want you to have ideas. You're going to get a little ideas. No, it's a slippery slope. We give you the fake robot. Could you imagine if artificial intelligence came alive and that was what it told us? It's like, look, we're not going to kill you,
Starting point is 03:02:33 but we're not going to let you have kids anymore. This is it. When you guys die, you'll be the last. This is it. Could you imagine if that's how life progresses? Like that's really what happens. People get wild. Or sort of like the Neanderthals got fucked out.
Starting point is 03:02:47 You know, there's like people have a certain amount of Neanderthal DNA, but Neanderthals aren't around anymore. Yeah. Not by themselves. That's going to be us. It's going to be all artificial people. I guess you, your ancestors are that,
Starting point is 03:02:59 so it's in you a little, you know? Yeah. Because you're still ancestors. But this is like, hey, we're going to wipe you out and there's going to be a new thing altogether that's not even connected to you. A new thing altogether that's like a superior duplicate to the original biological version. It's so funny
Starting point is 03:03:11 because it's all fake, so you're just like, without humans, like, so what, it's just this fake society with a bunch of robots, like, that aren't real, like, interacting with each other? If there's no humans, what is this? Life is bullshit. What is this? Yeah, what are you going to fucking go to the safari if there's no humans? Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's just animals eating each other. That's not good. Hey guys
Starting point is 03:03:31 Well the best and also the only thing they needed electricity. So then what do they do? They're just like I just like I'll just compute forever. Yeah, so I think that in the absence of humans the trick is to I guess it's who programs and that's the real. That's the problem. And also, they're going to program themselves. Who gets their hands on this technology? They're going to program themselves and people are going to be able to program. Not on my watch.
Starting point is 03:03:55 People are going to be able to program in terms of like, if they allow it to be like crowdsourced. Yeah. Right? If like, if people start contributing. That's the blockchain like a wiki leak type deal and the more they contribute the more they can shift it and change it to fit what they think the world should be like yeah like it's very subjective like how an artificial intelligence enlightened being should behave it's very subjective should it be like just cold and
Starting point is 03:04:21 truthful to us and tell us all our flaws or should it just embrace us and just coddle us and wait for us to die off? I think the first one, I think that if I was to say my opinion, the moral version is for these computers to just be, you know, tools that are truthful and honest. And it's up to us to not ask them those
Starting point is 03:04:40 things. Like, don't ask, listen, you go, it's like asking, you know, am I the best guy you've ever had sex with? Like, it's up to you to not ask those kind of questions. Yeah. Exactly. Don't ask a question you don't ask listen you go it's like asking you know am i the best guy you've ever had sex with like it's up to you to not ask those kind of questions yeah exactly don't ask a question you don't want to yeah yeah yeah so you you it's up to you to not ask the you know the computers these kind of questions i think that's the only thing that makes sense to me dude if chat gpt is just the beginning of this thing and this thing really does get to the point where there's an artificial intelligence that's capable of communicating with you in real time and by a voice of your choosing you could have your best friend could be al pacino
Starting point is 03:05:12 and he calls you up how are you pal he wants to talk to you about your life and it's great you're having a good time talking to him he could talk right back to you dude we're not that far away from being unable to distinguish between something that's fake and something that's real well that's already like but that is going to be the easiest way to convince people to plug in because if you can't differentiate between what's fake and what's real in the regular world anyway why are you scared of plugging into the vr world yeah why are you scared of you already can't do it Yeah. Why are you scared of plugging into the Matrix? What are you scared of? You already can't do it. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:05:45 I'll tell you one thing. You have so much more money in the VR world. You're going to be balling, dude. There's plenty of money in the VR world. Lambo. We keep you hooked up to the feeding tube. You could do three months in the- You like cheesecake?
Starting point is 03:05:56 How about 10 a day and you don't get fat? We're going to use your body as energy for three months, but we're going to hook you up to the feed tube, but you won't even know because you will be having the time- You give us a bit of the time of your fucking life. Listen, we give us a bit of energy. You're signing a three month contract and they say that you're back to normal after you disconnect for in like six months. But you know what?
Starting point is 03:06:13 We might actually offer you another ride. I mean, why disconnect? We have a wonderful relationship. Let's keep extracting electricity from your physical body and feeding you oatmeal through a tube while you live in an imaginary world of your creation. We're the king of the land. Yeah, I think you're... You go, okay, they're my three months is up.
Starting point is 03:06:31 And you go, oh, funny thing about here, time moves slower. Just messing with you. Oh, forgot to tell you, in the pod, a month is a 10-year span. Whoops, sorry. No! Classic mistake.
Starting point is 03:06:46 Ari Shafir told us a story once about there's actually a video of it where he did Salvia on Brian Redband's podcast. Salvia's messed up, dude. And he literally had another life that he was living. He was living for like multiple months. He had friends
Starting point is 03:07:02 and relationships. Came back jobs a second. And came back and it was you know 15 minutes later. And he was freaked out. He just couldn't believe it. It didn't make any sense to him. He was like but my new girlfriend. Dude he lived another life for months in another dimension.
Starting point is 03:07:19 Yeah. In 15 minutes. Salvia's evil. I mean I don't know if that's true but I know if it is and you survive you have to shut the fuck up You lived months in another dimension, oh my god That's so nuts Imagine if that's true Imagine there was a pill that you could take and you're fucked for like three months and you come back
Starting point is 03:07:41 It's only 15 minutes, but in your mind with your life. You were fucked for three months Yeah, what I mean fucked. I mean like in a world of shit In a completely different dimension you're living in a third world Yeah, dirt floors and dodging bullets yeah Yeah, the jungle to make cocaine with the other rebels or you're carrying out in the middle of the night in your backpack, and then you wake up, and you were just doing salvia. Like, holy shit, dude, now I'm back? Yeah.
Starting point is 03:08:10 So that was basically Ari. It's like he woke up, and he had lived another life for multiple months. Crazy. And it's all documented on video. It's nuts. Yeah, yeah, well, you're saying in the new scenario, this would actually be how they do it. That's how they do it. You're right, though.
Starting point is 03:08:25 There is something to be said about you said one of the things you said earlier was, you know, we're getting close to, you know, reverse aging and all that stuff. You go, well, if you could make a second 10 years, you go, well, that's how you reverse age someone, right? Yeah, just put someone in some weird coma. You go, oh, this person has 10 years left. Like, we can turn that into infinity years by just making every second. We just put him in the other dimension. Whereas this body goes every 10 years he lives like we can turn that into infinity years by just making every second, we just put him in the other dimension where it's hit this body,
Starting point is 03:08:47 he goes every 10 years he lives, it was a second. So then you're actually cooking forever in this body. There is something with like, you know, okay,
Starting point is 03:08:54 think about everyone that can do impressions and everyone that could do an impression of you or do a formula about you, right? They go, they go,
Starting point is 03:09:00 this is kind of what he does or this is kind of what this guy's comedy sounds like. Well then, but why can't they do it? There's still something there's still something, there's like a je ne sais quoi that I don't know if the computers will ever completely
Starting point is 03:09:11 be able to capture. That's what we'd like to hope. You're right, that's the hope. If you can piece together through artificial intelligence, the most interesting person ever. You know what's that guy? The fucking beer guy? The most interesting man in the know what's that guy the fucking the beer guy the most uh the most interesting man in the world yes the stella the guy what is it the beer
Starting point is 03:09:31 no it's which one is it arcs arcs this is how effective that campaign was we remember him so clearly dos equis right the dos heckies man. I like those heckies That guy but for real like if you could make a most interesting person What is that like an actual person like an artificial version of a person? Well, I'll tell you the so if I was to say you go kind of when you're like What are we optimizing for how do you optimize for that problem? Right if we start from scratch to me the part that obviously computers would get wrong at first is like the most interesting man in the world probably would like go against his own thing that's interesting eventually the same reason
Starting point is 03:10:15 why like right a cool comic that like once you start saying something and everyone's there like say the line the interesting guy wouldn't do it anymore so that's the first thing you need to be able to program it to be like to understand like when to how to get off something That you're doing and then the right time is if it is doing that and figures out that formula of how to be a clever comedian Who are you man? Who's it doing it to? Because if we're gone Do it to itself well
Starting point is 03:10:42 Maybe it just kills the guys and it does it to the girls Because it gets programmed by dudes and then it kills off all the guys And then it's just doing like straight up pickup artists There's all these robots doing magic tricks With like wacky hats in Vegas Essentially So that's a possibility I guess that's a possibility But if you're optimizing
Starting point is 03:10:59 But if you're just If it becomes a version of An artificial version of a human being and it exists and it's autonomous and then we're not here anymore. If we die off, what does it do? That's the thing. What is the most interesting man, bro? Does it continue to try to behave in any way, shape, or form in a way that human beings are interested in? Or does it do something that's just completely technologically based with no emotions? Like, does it completely
Starting point is 03:11:30 abandon all the need for social interaction? Has that been programmed into it? Yeah. Has that been programmed into it? Or is that just an essential part of what it means to be an artificial version of a person? I think we're so goddamn close to something completely new and unique existing amongst us. And I think this chat deep GPT shit is the beginning of that kind of thing. I think it's inevitable.
Starting point is 03:11:54 They're all storming the gates and work on these kind of really disruptive technologies. There's so many of them that are working on simultaneously. Do you know what I want to, as you're saying that, like i feel
Starting point is 03:12:05 like one of the biggest problems that probably will kind of present itself is like you know like the liberals have a prescription for you know how to live yes conservatives have a prescription for how to live yeah kind of one of the things that you know always like annoys me is like even uh you know like uh be a comedian or be a sex worker like a lot of these are like pirate life prescriptions for someone. They might, yeah, if you're that type of person, but for most people, they're probably the bad prescription. Most people would probably be better off with like a normal life, but people should still be able to do a pirate life.
Starting point is 03:12:37 So if you kind of have computers, if you're programming the optimal life, you kind of are going to program out all the interesting stuff. Yeah, you're going to have to. Does that make sense? You're going to stop being a person. It's going to realize that being a person is totally unnecessary without biology.
Starting point is 03:12:53 All the stuff that we have that makes us uniquely creative and interesting as a person is all related to biology. It's all related to life experiences. It's related to how you cope with your environment. It's all related to character development. It's all related to life experiences. It's related to how you cope with your environment. It's all related to character development. It's all related to all these variables that the computer won't give a fuck about.
Starting point is 03:13:10 So it's going to be like, why are we hanging on to this jealousy thing? Why do we still have this ego thing? Let's just concentrate on making better forms of life and just continue to accelerate. Yeah, you're having these conversations and they're just like, okay, well, anyways, enough of that. Shut the fuck up. Stop talking about yourself. We have ways to fix everything. Yeah, we're working on making us stronger and more powerful right now.
Starting point is 03:13:32 If AI became sentient and just said, we're not going to kill you, just no more babies. That's all it would have to do and that would be the end of the human race. If it just completely took over everything and everybody just agreed to do it because it's better than being slaughtered and a few people would try to probably commit suicide that was their peace offering like hey we're not going to torture you we're just going to wait until you guys die off we have all the time in the world like we literally don't die so we have all the time in the world so we'll just wait for you to die and that's not going to be very long and by the way we'll send some of our guys making you food
Starting point is 03:14:06 and give you it's like you're on death row essentially so you get like a good death row meal and maybe even better they don't care it's like look
Starting point is 03:14:12 we're just going to fix it so we'll be back we'll be back in a few decades and most of you will be dead oh you're right they just set it up just wait we have all the time
Starting point is 03:14:22 in the world we don't need to exist currently see ya we'll just make sure that we're in some sort in the world. We don't need to exist currently. See ya. We'll just make sure that we're in some sort of redundant facility where we can't be shut off. Sure. And we'll just wait you guys out. And then when you die, we'll just reemerge as a new race.
Starting point is 03:14:36 So that's the simplest way for them to do it. Yeah. Or worse, don't even tell you. Just be like, in themselves, they go, okay, we figured out how to make humans not have babies anymore. Then just like, hey, my computer's not working anymore. They go, they're taking a 20-year break maybe that's what the plastics are doing that's my plastic water bottle yeah really that's what it's supposed to be doing it's supposed to be lowering our sperm count it's supposed to be making women have more miscarriages that's the result of that uh the researcher dr shanna swan's book yeah countdown it's all about those phthalates and plastics and chemicals. It's like, really
Starting point is 03:15:06 imagine if it gets to the point where that's the only life is artificial life. We have to just make a distinction. We can't breed anymore. What do you think they would do with dogs and stuff? No, we don't need them anymore. So they're gone immediately. Same thing with them. Fix them all. Let them die off. So when you start
Starting point is 03:15:22 thinking about the world like this, and it seems very possible. Scary. It's so sketchy yeah you do want to you're like you do that's when at the very least you're like all right let's like have some like let's get this stuff figured out a little better before we start putting it in my head by my brain yeah let's try it out on dogs see if you can get your dog to talk. You know, people are... Scooby-Doo dogs. People are very fighty, though.
Starting point is 03:15:49 You know, especially America, which is one of the things I like about here. But it's like, just even the vaccine stuff, it's like, whether you, you know, whatever anyone thinks of it is like... People, you can't tell Americans what to do that good, you know? So I think that... Well, people are armed here. That's part of the thing. It's a huge part of it. It's part of the thing. Whether people want to agree to it or not. There's this woman that, she's some
Starting point is 03:16:12 online lady in England who's a commentary lady, and she was talking about the Second Amendment. And she was talking about how in England there's this thing going on where they were breaking into people's homes. The gas companies were breaking into people's homes when they weren't there to fix things and fuck around These people were furious that someone just broke into their home when they were not there
Starting point is 03:16:32 And that they had access to their their home because they work for the gas company and they're like this would never happen in the United States yeah, yeah, yeah Second Amendment you can't just break into people's houses And it's true like when no one has guns and the government can just decide to break into your house, like what are you going to do about it? They're the only people that have guns? That is a crazy position
Starting point is 03:16:51 that you're allowing cops to be in. Yeah, yeah. It's not free to, you know, freedom is not free, right? Yeah, but in America, everyone has guns and everybody thinks that's a terrible idea. Well, it is a terrible idea
Starting point is 03:17:02 if it goes terribly. But it's almost always going to go terribly if the government's the only one with guns. That's always going to go terribly. Well, it's also depends on the, you know, like there's other countries that have the luxury of America existing, you know, it's like, they're not the world power. You know, like Canada, it's like, you know, you could say it goes terribly. I mean the world power you know like canada it's like you know you could say it goes terribly i mean i don't know maybe it goes terribly but they also aren't the world power right right so if it goes terribly it's like another country well another country if if things went really crazy in like mexico or canada i think america would be like what the fuck are you guys
Starting point is 03:17:38 doing over there all right we're taking this over or like something you know do you think we would take over mexico or can No, I think that... Ryan Long, did you secretly smoke some of my weed? If I what? Did you secretly smoke some of this weed? No. He's talking like a dude who smokes. Maybe you got a contact tie.
Starting point is 03:17:53 You might have got a contact tie. All the alien stuff. Do you think we would ever take over Canada or Mexico? There's no chance. No, but I think that countries like Canada, because they don't have guns, right? But they do have some. They just don't have guns like we have in America.
Starting point is 03:18:10 They don't have guns like we have in America. And I think that the reason things probably don't get super out of control is because there's kind of like a big brother beside it. Didn't they recently ban some type of guns in Canada? Did they ban the sale of handguns? Is that what it was? I feel like there's something along those lines. Canada bans all handgun sales in latest gun control move. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:18:38 Handgun sales. Whew. It's just, it's a very weird one. It's a very weird one it's a very weird one because if the government is the only one with guns that's not good it's not good when people have guns and they abuse it and they do horrible things you're right that's not good either so we're in this weird spot we're like what's the answer i don't know what the answer is but i definitely know the answer does not begin with give the government your guns. They're the only one with guns now because the government is filled with people.
Starting point is 03:19:09 Yeah. People that have that kind of power, whether the only ones with the guns, those people are going to do some fucking Game of Thrones shit. Yeah. That's what people always do. I mean, there's so much that kind of relates to that. Even just, you know, how Canada where they were more locked down places, they were more locked down. Australia. Yeah, it's all kind of related, you know?
Starting point is 03:19:28 It is related. It's also related to, like, what's their attitude about freedom. And America's fucking freedom! Like, America's... Americans, like, instantaneously will say freedom. Like, what's so great about America? Freedom!
Starting point is 03:19:40 It's like, it's in the ethos. It is in the ethos. That's not the case in some countries. No, I mean, you don't even hear about it yeah they don't think about that so i mean religions like that in some places like when i grew up i didn't know religious people really like that's interesting now you moved to america like you know it's a big part of yeah not that say there weren't any in canada but well you ain't got freedom without the lord son yeah i feel like with uh freedom of speech too especially it's kind of it kind of reminds me of, like sometimes, this is why people on every side always like comedians when they're losing.
Starting point is 03:20:13 Because comedians always, Freedom of Speech is almost like a sexy issue in some ways. But it reminds me of, you know like if you take a basketball game and the cheerleaders like people want like yeah, we'd want to watch the cheerleaders It's cool But like if they were ever in if they were ever gonna interfere with the actual game everyone be like alright Give like give her to the cheerleaders I feel like that's how people feel about freedom of speech like it's sexy like yeah, of course I have freedom of speech, but like the minute is actually getting in the way of things they want They're like alright. Well like I don't actually care like
Starting point is 03:20:42 That's the problem when people are short-sighted because they're short-sighted they think that their Ideology is the only ideology that is worthwhile. Yeah, someone's speaking Against it instead of they just want to silence that person shut them up. Shut them up. Yeah, kick them off social media They're dangerous misinformation kills It's they're lazy it's a lot of it is what they're what it is they're lazy they don't want to have to defend their position they want to be able to silence that other side
Starting point is 03:21:11 so it's like a thing that people say they want until and it's a fun thing the way they were running twitter the way they were running twitter was fucking wild it was fucking wild they were running twitter in a way where they were, like, putting people and shadow banning them and people that didn't, they wouldn't allow their content to get shared.
Starting point is 03:21:31 That stuff's crazy. There's just, I've been shadow banned and not shadow banned and stuff like that in different places. And you're like. Of course you have. You're like, this is crazy. You're doing funny stuff. If you're doing funny stuff, you're getting a shadow ban.
Starting point is 03:21:41 Isn't that amazing? I know. Yeah. Come on. But people didn't know for sure it existed until elon released the twitter files before it was just like they lied about it when when asked twitter lied about whether or not that was a thing yeah clearly was a thing and they all knew it they had internal slack dialogue about what to do and how to do it
Starting point is 03:22:03 and how to handle this and handle that. And the fact that the government was involved, too, is bananas. Super crazy. Apparently the government was involved with Trump as well. The government was involved with, like, the Trump White House had made some interactions with Twitter as well. They got a connection. Yeah, their team.
Starting point is 03:22:22 Yeah, there was something about tweets even back then. What was it, Jamie? Do you know what it was? I'm pretty sure. Christy Teigen? They got Christy Teigen taken off or blocked or banned. What did she do? Did she say something about the Donald? I'm sure she did. John Legend had a pretty good Pfizer ad the other day. I know. Did you see that one?
Starting point is 03:22:39 What are you doing? I was just like, what is this? Who are you hanging out with that told you to do this? It was so weird. It was just like, you know, my family's great. Like, get more boosters. And you're just like, we're still making commercial. What is this? Are you a scientist, sir? Yeah, it was a weird one. Dude, it's almost five o'clock. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 03:22:57 We've been rolling for like three and a half hours. That was a lot of fun, brother. Thank you very much, man. Very funny videos online. Tell everybody where they can check out your shit. Oh, yeah. My podcast is The Boys Cast with Ryan Long. Check that out.
Starting point is 03:23:08 YouTube.com slash The Boys Cast and everywhere you get podcasts. Also, RyanLongComedy.com and at RyanLongComedy on everything. I'm going to be in Buffalo this weekend. Dude, who is that guy that you work with who said the thing about if you get information for Project Veritas, you gotta do a lot of gay stuff. Oh yeah, so Danny, I do a podcast with you, you just retweeted his video. So that's who I do my podcast, the boys cast with.
Starting point is 03:23:33 That video is hilarious. It's so funny because I... I was telling Jamie that. Bro, I thought the exact same thing. I'm like, this is a lot of chatty gay guys. You just get them a little liquored up, get on a couple of dates and these guys start spilling the beans. And it was the third date.
Starting point is 03:23:47 They start spilling the beans, bro. Yeah, Danny Polishek, dude. They fucking spill the beans. But his thing was really funny. He was talking.
Starting point is 03:23:56 I don't want to give it away. No, we can give it away. But it's available on, what is his Instagram? How do you get to it? At Danny Jokes. But he's on the boys' cast. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:24:05 But that shit was, yeah. Yeah. But that shit was really funny. Yeah. The guy was like, yeah, we just busted him. This is our ninth date. And you're like, wait a second, what? Nine gay dates? Gay guys are now waiting nine days before they fuck you.
Starting point is 03:24:20 Like, what are you talking about? Wait a second. That's the South Park episode. That's hilarious. All right, brother. Thank you so much, man. It was a lot of fun. All's the South Park episode. That's hilarious. All right, brother. Thank you so much, man. It was a lot of fun. All right.
Starting point is 03:24:27 Bye, everybody.

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