The Joe Rogan Experience - #1952 - Michael Malice

Episode Date: March 8, 2023

Michael Malice is a cultural commentator, host of the PodcastOne podcast "YOUR WELCOME," and author of several books, including "Dear Reader: The Unauthorized Autobiography of Kim Jong Il," and "The Anarchist Handbook." His newest, "The White Pill: A Tale of Good & Evil," is available now. www.whitepillbook.com

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. Hey, Michael Malice. How are you, my friend? I am doing outstanding. Always good to see you. No one's ever said that to me before. I love you. Come on, man. That's not true. No one's ever said that either.

I think I've said it. I think I've said it. You know I love you. What's in the box, man? That's not true. No one's ever said that either. I think I've said it. I think I've said it. You know I love you. What's in the box, man? What's in the box? So, Alfred Hitchcock, great film director. Love Alfred Hitchcock's movies. Made this comment about the difference between surprise and suspense, right? Yes. So, surprise is a bomb goes off.

There's five seconds of surprise. People are like, okay, what happened? Susp suspense is when the audience knows something that the characters don't so you have Cary Grant drinking tea with his girlfriend and there's a bomb under the table and for ten minutes they're just perfectly calm and there's a bomb so you are a lot nicer to your audience than I am which is probably why you're a lot more popular than I am so can we wait like a five minutes before we show it in the

box sure we can wait an hour I don't give a fuck. Okay. We have a fun surprise. We got all day. This is from one of the many friends I've met here in Austin and every opportunity I have to talk about how much I love Austin, I will absolutely fucking take. I am so giddy to be here. I'll tell you this story. A couple of my friends just came to visit. I've known them since high school, Andrea and Annette. And they reminded me of this story that they had done when they were in their 30s, old enough to know better. So there's a city in Ohio

called Twinsburg. Have you heard of this? No. So Twinsburg every year has twin parades. And you can go when you're twins and march in the parades and hang out with other twins. Andrea and Annette, who are unrelated and don't look alike at all, decided, you know what we're going to do? We're going to just go and pass off as identical twins, even though you can go there as fraternal twins. There may have been some fake birth certificates involved. I can't say that for legal reasons. Do you have to show birth certificates to get in the parade? Well, if you're going to march as identical twins and register as them, you have to show birth certificates. Now, mind you, they could have gone for free, but they decided to pay the money

to go as identical twins. So they got the same haircuts, dressed the same. They took part in medical research. So if you still have cancer, it's because of them. And they ended up marching in the identical twin parade with all the black people for some reason. Okay. What does it have to do with the box? These are just friends of mine who are just

here visiting Austin. This box is what's in the box is made from some other people that I was friends here in Austin. The point being everyone's coming through here just week after week. I want to give you an update. Bridget Phetasy is closed in her house. Yeah, she's a good friend of mine. Yeah, and mine too.

Her husband, Jaron, is going to be staying with me in two weeks while he checks out the updates. So Deborah So is going to be here visiting in May. Oh, is she really? Yes. She's escaped from Canada? She's escaping from Canada. Did they let her come over here? She'll be able to be here in May.

So right now you can't fly in unless you're vaccinated, correct? I think America is the only country where that is the situation. Protecting us, Michael. Keeping us protected. It's legal to come here if you have COVID, but not if you're not vaccinated. Well, that makes sense. Yeah, it's just absolutely crazy. But May 11th, people will be able to come here and absolutely visit.

Thank God they're waiting until May because it's March. They postponed it too. You need a couple of months to really make sure you got it ready. It was supposed to be April. They postponed it until May. So, I mean, are you not loving what's been happening with this city? Yeah, I love the city. And it's thanks to you in large part, don't you think?

I don't know. I mean, I'm very happy if anybody thinks that, but it's just love the city. And it's thanks to you in large part, don't you think? I don't know. I mean, I'm very happy if anybody thinks that. But it's just an amazing city. It's just we're very lucky to be here. It's really special. It's very unusual. I feel like we're in unprecedented times because this is the only time in American history, to my knowledge, where a red state is going to be a cultural center. Because you remember like New York in the 70s, Paris in the 20s.

Obviously Paris is another country. But when you have all these different groups then diagramming together, it becomes something bigger than the sum of its parts. So we've got the biohacker people here. We've got the Bitcoin people here. We've got the Whole Foods crowd, the Kuya crowd, your honor people. You've got the podcasters. You've got the comedians., the Kuya crowd, your honor people. You've got the podcasters. You've got the comedians. You know, it's just.

It's amazing. Musicians. The amount of musicians. It's not even against the music. Yeah, the music capital of the world. The music here is incredible. It's so good. And it's so accessible.

Yeah, you can go out any night. There's bars on 6th Street on any night that have amazing bands playing. That's what we found out about Ellis Bullard. What is that place called? The White what? The White Horse? What was that place called the white what the white horse What's that a bar called? I think it's the white horse cool little fucking bar like real cool like little fucking shitty pool table and and There's like maybe 15 20 people in there and there's this honky-tonk dude on stage and I'm like this guy is fucking amazing

His bands incredible. I'm like how guy is fucking amazing his band's incredible i'm like how good is this music and the thing i'm really happy about here as opposed to new york or la is people are appreciative of being here they're not too cool for school right there's none of this like you know my friend lux she had this great line about if you are asked about an app uh just say oh i was that on that for a while it sucked so like you could just pass you could pass at any party oh yeah i tried that for a while it sucked but we don't have that here people are actually enthusiastic i think the comedy scene here is amazing the comedy scene here is insane i just saw neil hamburger a couple weeks

ago got my favorite comedian he's funny man that dude's very funny he's my absolute hero he opened up for louis once i saw him at the irvine Improv and I was like, dude, that guy's so good. Did they, did they get it? Yeah. Well, there's comedy fans there. Okay. You know, it's like, first of all, I think a good, first of all, if he's opening up for Louis, he's going to be really funny. Right. Like Louis has some oddball people open up for him. Like he had Jay London open up for him like he had Jay London open up for him in in LA you didn't you know Jay London no Jay London is a guy I did my very first show with like on V I think it was like vh1 or something like that or maybe might not have even been that good of a network as well as like shitty stand-up spotlight

something shows and he was on last comic Standing, and for a while, like, caught some heat. He's a very eccentric guy. Like, when I met him out here in L.A., I met him in New York, and then I saw him out here in L.A. in, like, 2000, 2001, around there. And then when I met him, he was, like, selling stuff on the street.

Like, he was selling, like, after September 11th, he was selling, like, American flags, because everybody was putting American flags in their car like the suction cup once. Yeah. So he's like this fucking strange sort of character, but he's really funny. And he brings like his notes on stage and he's always embarrassed about his jokes and he hides. That's Jay. Oh, OK.

Yeah, yeah. I've seen him. You know, so like Louie has like these odd duck people open up for him and Jay's hilarious. And he had Neil Hamburger open up for him. So everybody who's a Louis fan is kind of knows if you're opening up for Louis because he asked you to. Yeah. One time I saw Neil doing a residency, I think, at the satellite in L.A. And there was this basic bitch on a date in front of me with her boyfriend.

And I told the story 20 times and she turns to him and she goes, what is this? And I'm like, that is the exact right uh uh reaction um if you don't know you just think oh my god what have I stumbled into you know but I'm surprised there I mean I love that kind of alt comedy stuff uh I I think it's just something that's just a little bit out there uh Kurt Metzger who I'm buddies with I love Kurt of course he's he's open for Louis too I think yeah he's just something that's just a little bit out there uh kurt metzger who i'm buddies with i love kurt of course he's he's open for louis too i think yeah he's just he's amazing i just saw him here it's the funny thing is with these comedians as you obviously know is that it's one thing when you're hanging out and someone's funny that you go on stage it's a whole other level and he had this i was watching him at the creek in the cave and he just goes yeah so um my back's been hurting

me a lot recently so uh we're gonna be talking about that for the next 20 minutes. I'm like, why is that so fucking funny? It's funny coming from him. It's coming from him. He's got a very unique sense of humor. He's so smart too. He's like,

Oh, like, and he's a guy, you know, he grew up as a, I believe it was Jehovah's witness, right? Yeah.

So he grew up in a religious cult and he is like not buying it like whenever there's any kind of group think going on and any kind of like oh i know what this is i know what this is get the fuck out of here with this he's the best at calling that he's so good at that because i would imagine i don't have that experience but i would imagine if you had that experience of growing up in a fucking religious cult and then escaping then realize like oh my god these are regular people regular people get caught up in mind viruses like we always want to look at people in a cult and go well that would never be me i'm too smart for that these fucking morons why do they believe that guy we're all susceptible all of us are it's easier to train a smart dog than a dumb one. And especially the appeal of the cult is you have this hidden arcane knowledge that the normies don't.

And this is going to feed into your sense of intelligence and self-importance. It's like you're one of the ones in the know and everyone else has blinders on. And you can be really aggressive about enforcing your opinion because you know it's right. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like there's a thing that people are doing that they did during the pandemic and they do about any issue that's controversial, whether it's abortion or whether it's guns or anything. It's like the people, instead of like talking about it, like these are the pros and cons, this is what's going on, this is where I can understand why you would think like this, this is why I think like that, and just try to work it out. It always becomes this very vicious attack on your mental capacity, on your thought process, your education.

Immediately they want to classify you in some sort of a category where they could dismiss you, whether it's sexist or racist or transphobic or whatever. Out group. Throw you in an out group and start screaming at you. And it's the most unproductive way to communicate. And I think it's also a product of social media that we need to be really careful about

because it's changing the way people interact with each other. Well, I think it's more a product of social media that we need to be really careful about because it's changing the way people interact with each other. Well, I think it's more a function of evolutionary psychology because if I'm low status and I have no opportunity to raise my rank in terms of kind of whatever long-term mating, this gives me an excuse. Now I'm in a position to tell Joe Rogan, Mr. Podcaster celebrity, that I'm better than him. tell Joe Rogan, Mr. Podcaster celebrity, that I'm better than him. So right away, without having to do any of the work building the audience, I'm leapfrogging over you because I understand drug protocols better than Joe who went to the veterinarian and just took something off the shelf and just injected into his veins. Yes. Yeah, definitely. It's that too.

There's like many factors, but that's definitely one of the factors why people get aggressive and attack famous people. But it's not just famous people. They do it to people that have any person who has an ideology that's different than them. Yeah. People on the right do it too. Of course they do. Everybody does it.

It's a natural part of human. That's why you're seeing these bizarre shifts. Like the left, when I was a kid, when my parents, my stepfather was a hippie, and we grew up in San Francisco in the 70s during the Vietnam War. Oh, okay. So I was like, surrounded by, like, I had all, my

neighbors were gay, everyone was an artist, there was all these fucking weirdos. It's like, ideologies like this, like, whatever we're doing, whether it's right or left, they get it. It's like everybody just gets locked into a group mindset for some strange reason. And if you don't agree with everything in that group mindset, they could just fucking dismiss you. Right. They just completely dismiss you. They're looking for filters to not have to listen to anything you say further.

I have pronouns in my bio on Twitter because if you're this type of conservative who thinks, oh, pronouns in bio, I don't have to listen to anything this guy has to say, I don't want to be talking to you anyway if that's how your mind works. So right away it's going to alienate me from that audience. It also works because if you're someone who is on the other camp and you see pronouns in my Twitter bio, you're going to perceive me as part of your team and you're going to listen to what I have to say. So it works in both directions. But instead of listening to, does this person have a point?

Is this true? Is it false? It's immediately, should I be listening to anything they further have to say? Can I dismiss them immediately with one word or one phrase? I mean, anyone who likes this can't possibly.

Well, it's like stupid people make good points all the time. So when I was a kid, the left was all about freedom of speech and freedom of expression. And if you were like a person who never vaccinated your children, you would be much more likely to be on the left. You were someone who didn't trust pharmaceutical companies. You were someone pharmaceutical companies. Hippies were all about like healthy food. Like there was a lot, like a lot of the hippie stuff was stupid, but a lot of the hippie stuff was, it's not that it was stupid. It just, it doesn't work without discipline. It doesn't work without exceptional people who work hard with discipline and then share with each other. Like you can't just everybody

share with everybody because there's a natural human inclination to not do anything if you don't have to do anything especially when you're young it's fucking it's not good for the development of a human being to give them everything they want when they're young that's why it's fucked up like young rich kids it's like they're classically fucked up there's something wrong about that right but you know I think hippies have gotten a bad rap. And when I was much younger, I thought, okay, these guys are idiots. They don't know what they're talking about.

The older I've gotten, I'm like, you know what? They're probably on to something. They were on to something. Like in the late 60s where they're like, why are we sending kids to die overseas? Why are drugs illegal? Yeah. Why are drugs – like, okay, let's have some pleasure. Let's expand our minds.

It sounds stupid now because it's become an eat, pray, love thing. But looking back, I'm like, they weren't so bad. And who were they really, like, a lot of them were destroying their own lives. Let's get, let's be honest. For sure. Like, at a certain point, hedonism's a problem. But in terms of, like, their motivations, I'm like, I kind of have a soft spot for them. And if you meet some of these older hippies, like, even, like, especially the Bernie Sanders types, a lot of them are just really nice people.

Yeah, they're just really nice people.. They just wanted to have good neighborhoods. Yeah. And they, they got into a nice vibe of like being a good person, but that's what the left used to be about. The left used to be about like freedom. It was more, it was more like freedom of speech,

freedom of expression. You know, like think about the comic books that came from the left, like R. Crumb, like fucking bizarre, wild shit. The right would never create. But then somewhere along the line, the roles reversed.

And I don't even know if people realize it. It's like a shifting of the polar ice caps. Like today, if you were going to be a person who had a controversial comic book, you would most likely be on the right. 100%. If you had anything remotely as satirical and as fucked up as some of those R. Crumb comics, have you ever read those? Did you know R. Crumb was going to draw my graphic novel? No. You didn't know this? No.

You know Harvey Pekar wrote a book about me, right? Who did? Harvey Pekar. I did not. I did not know that. Harvey Pekar from American Splendor who is R. Crumb's bestie, right? He had a graphic novel about me, came out in 2006, and R. Crumb was originally going to be the artist, which would have been absolutely insane. Did you ever watch that documentary? Of course, where his brother's eating the rope. Insane.

His brother's just out to lunch, just reading books all day and living in the house. They're all insane. The mom and him. lunch just reading books all day and living in the house they're all in like it's saying but that that was such a i mean talking about earlier we're talking about austin like the the midwest in that time when america was kind of this like dark and lost place there was so much creativity in that um alt comic scene especially all the way through the 90s like a lot of really amazing creative people dan klaus is another one who's just amazing. Really just great stuff. Yes, Harvey did a book about me. It goes for like 200 bucks now, too. That's amazing.

But R. Crumb's comics are pretty fucking wild. Like today, even then, even then, even then, you know, when I was like, this is how much of hippies my parents were. We had that R. Crumb how to wipe your ass thing framed in the bathroom. Do you know that? No, I don't know that one. It was like a toilet that showed you how to wipe your ass. It was the most ridiculous thing. And it was like, that's it right there.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Don't forget to wipe your ass, folks. Bro, that was fucking in my house. That was in our bathroom when I was a little kid. A frame? Yeah, my parents were wild. They didn't just tape it up.

They put a frame on it? If I remember correctly, either it was framed or it was like posted somewhere. I don't remember exactly how it was. I'm pretty sure it was framed. Oh, my God. That's amazing. It was like a poster or something. That was it right there.

Yeah, but like, yeah, there's a whole- Don't forget to wipe your ass, folks. My buddy Eric July just had a Kickstarter or something like that was it. Don't forget to wipe your ass, folks. My buddy Eric July just had a Kickstarter or something like that for his comic book series. I think he raised like $100,000 or some crazy number. So there is this big... But he's an anarchist. He's considered on the right.

Because the other thing is, it's not just that it's this kind of leftist crap. It's just regurgitating the same stories. Like, how many times is Superman going to punch Brainiac in the face? Yeah Yeah, it's it's just kind of gets old. Well, there's like two different kinds of comics, right? There's like comics that are like the classic superhero genre comics that I loved growing up like the Avengers and the Hulk and Conan the Barbarian all that shit and

Then there's like these graphic novels that are independent and people do like really weird cool stuff and i guess you could put like spawn in there you know you could put like a bunch of them you could put a bunch of these like very interesting comics but then they go like as far out there i was like when i lived in boston they had these uh independent comic book stores you go there and there there'd be these really small batch comics that these weirdo artists would create, and some of them were wild. Like, really amazing, interesting, out-there stuff in comic book form. But if you're going to have anything that's as controversial as Arkham,

it's going to be coming from the right now, which is really weird. It's like a new thing. And that's unprecedented. Unprecedented. The right is the one telling us weird. It's like a new thing. And that's unprecedented, right? Unprecedented. The right is the one telling us to get out of this war in Ukraine. It's the right. Can you imagine if you just like during the Bush era, if you imagine the Republicans would be chanting, let's get the military home, enough of the war machine, because it's almost

as crazy as Bernie Sanders a couple of years ago telling us we need to support either the CIA or the FBI. I'm like, you are the epitome of this filthy old – like you open your wallet, moths are going to fly out. And you're telling us to trust the FBI or CIA? I couldn't believe it. Blanket trust. Yeah. It's this complete – I trust the idea of both of them.

Do you? I trust some of the individuals that are in them. Yes. But it's just a fucking group of humans when you have a group of humans right any group of humans you're gonna have certain people that bend the rules you know certain people that say you know what i think i'm gonna get away with this you're gonna have certain people that say i'm gonna use this power because it's fun you got a lot of weird things that happen when you get people and if you call them the fbi it's a fucking group of humans. They're just humans like all of us. I had dinner with

an ex, either FBI, I think it was CIA operative, or FBI, but I'm not sure it was CIA, and he was talking about how it's illegal for him or his co-workers to look up his ex-girlfriend's Gmail. But what he could do is call his contact in France and be

like, hey, look up this Gmail for me, and he could look it up for his French girl, for his French buddy. And he was talking about like, oh, this is how corrupt we are. I'm like, you should be in jail. Like you're using your powers to look up your ex's emails

and you're just talking about like, oops, I'm on the take. Like you're evil. That should be a serious crime. It is though. It's just not enforced. There's no way that's not a serious crime. It's, though. It's just not enforced. There's no way that's not a serious crime. It's so wild.

So when people talk about corruption and like, oh, it's like Hunter Biden's on the take, that's not the corruption I'm worried about. It's shit like this. They're human beings, and it's not like they're Navy SEALs. Yeah, right. It's not like they have to go through some incredible training process that weeds out all the weak people. It's not that at all You just get to that spot. You're a bureaucrat You're a guy who's moving up the ladder next thing

You know you're running this thing and you might be a fucking sociopath or you might be a really patriotic guy Who's trying to do the right thing inside a system that's imperfect? I think both those things coexist, but also are you gonna fire the good worker? Just because he's looking at his ex-girlfriend's emails? You're going to be like, no, dude, cut it out. You're not going to make it public. It'll look bad for the agency. You look out for each other.

It's kind of that thin blue line thing. Definitely lift up that carpet. Yeah, yeah. Just like, dude, don't do it again. Don't do that. It's like, okay, I'm sorry. It's just really kind of a messed up. Do you want to see what's in the box?

Sure. Show me the cake. Well, I'll tell you the whole story. Okay. So I'm at home dicking around on Twitter as I want to do. And I get a like when the verified tab meant something. And I'm like, okay, who is this broad? And I look and that wasn't the word I used, mind you, but I'm being nice.

And I looked and it's this girl, Natalie Sidesurf. She and her husband, they live in Austin. They make these super realistic cakes. So I said to them, I'm going to be on Rogan. We became good friends. We just went to Miami together, a whole crew of us, me, Blair White also. And I'm like, make me a cake of your favorite Russian podcaster. So I hope that they got my cheekbones right.

Oh, boy. Here we go. Oh, God damn it. Turn towards me. That's pretty goddamn good. That's pretty goddamn good. That's pretty goddamn good. That is Lex in a fucking... That's perfect.

I think it's got too much emotion in the eyes. The lips are a little pursed, though. It makes up for that. He might be in the middle of, like, saying something important about Dostoevsky. Does this look as insane on camera as it looks in person? It's really good, dude.

Holy crap. Let me take a photo of it. Yeah. Hold on a second. That's really good. So what we're looking at here for the people that are just listening is a fucking amazing bust of Lex Friedman that's actually a cake. Hold on. Yeah, so they did that meme that everything is cake.

It's them. Well, they're a really talented band because that's so good. How does it feel to be number two at best? What do you mean? Their favorite Russian podcaster. Like, at best, you're number two now. I feel like... Because that's number one.

I feel like... And then Konstantin's probably number two. Oh, Konstantin's got you beat. He's great. Trigonometry, those guys are great. I feel like that Ronnie Dangerfield line, my wife tells me I'm number one but treats me like I'm

number two. Should I cut it? Are we ready to cut it? No, let's cut it later. Come on, more suspense. Okay. Damn, she did a good job. Yeah, it's excellent. I don't even want to cut it. I want to let it rot. I don't want to ruin it. Yeah, it's creepy looking at it. It's like a sandcastle

that you can eat. It's just temporary. Are you excited? Can we talk about the club? Yeah, sure. Are you excited? Oh, yeah. How long has this been your dream? It wasn't a dream ever. I used to tell comedians be nice to club owners because you don't want to be

one. Because I was like, we need them. Comedians have oftentimes have an adversarial relationship with people at clubs. I feel like he's watching me. He is. He's judging us. He's always judging us. Zero, zero, zero. And I wanted you to be ones.

Joe, why are you such a zero? The relationship that comedians have with clubs is based on the initial feeling that you had from clubs. You have to kind of work through that because in the beginning you're an open mic and you're fucking terrible. And you start getting better and you're trying to get work but they don't want to give you work. And they don't really respect you because they remember when you were terrible. And then you have to leave town. And then when you leave town you're going to clubs and you're not getting paid that much. And sometimes people will kind of screw you over on the ticket prices or something will go wrong. And you got to just be cool about all of it.

You got to be as friendly to club owners as you can, because you don't want to be one. And you need those people. We need them. We're not going to go open up our own clubs. I would say to these guys, we have this idea like it's an adversarial relationship with clubs. It's not. We're not going to go open up our own clubs. I would say to these guys, we have this idea like it's an adversarial relationship with clubs. It's not. We're all working together. You've got to be nice to these folks. No one wants to open a fucking club. And then I came here.

I was like, God damn it. I've got to open a club. I was like, we had one place we're working out of, which is like an EDM club, the Vulcan Gas Company, which has been amazing. But it's not really set up for comedy. There's a balcony. It's weird. Some of the seating, like people are staring at a screen. I don't like that part of it.

But it's an amazing staff, and it's an amazing set, and it sounds great. It's fun, and it kept us here for like a couple years. But we need like a full-time comedy club, like the Comedy Store. And so I started looking, and I almost bought one place that was owned by a cult. Oh yeah. Yeah. It was, this is, I was actually under contract and then some issues happened and fell apart, but I didn't know what that meant until Adam Egan said, oh yeah. He goes, I saw the documentary on them. I go, what? There's a documentary? Oh Jesus Christ. You know the cult's bad when they make a movie about it. So the documentary's called Holy Hell.

And this documentary's about this guy who ran a cult in West Hollywood and he was this guy who at one point in time, he was a failed actor and then he was a dancer and he was this really weird gay guy that was super, super charismatic.

And he got all these people to join his cult and they fled West Hollywood for some reason and came to Austin. And when they got to Austin, they set up this whole commune and he had them build him a theater where he could dance in front of them. So they built this beautiful theater.

But, you know, it's all like the cult members made it. Like, I don't even know if they used general contractors. I don't know. But it was a beautiful place. And so I watched the documentary. I'm like, oh, no, the documentary is so bad. This guy was fucking everyone, right? He was getting money from them, but he was fucking them.

And then he would make them pay him because it was therapy. So he would fuck all the guys, like the straight guys, and then they were talking about this. This is what we're talking about with, like, cults. These are regular folks. These guys are so upset that they couldn't believe this. They thought they had it nailed. They thought they figured life out. They thought they had a group of people, and they could all live together.

This guy's, like, the biggest stud in history. Like if you're getting your straight guys are paying you to fuck them, you're talented. It's like beyond comprehension. The kind of charisma you need. Yeah. The kind of just whatever

the fuck that is where you can talk someone into things like that. Like what is that? What's the steps? Which do you broach first? The money or the sex? Yeah, how do you justify it? Maybe just keep going. Maybe just keep asking

for more. But now I want $50 for that. Yes, okay, here you go. And now I'm going to fuck you. And now I want a handjob. This is the documentary. See, they always start off looking great. This is the case with Wild, what is it? Wild, Wild Country, right? Is that the one?

Yeah, Wild, Wild Country. And this one's similar. No, this is probably before they came to Austin. Is that a lake or is that an ocean? See, that's all mountains and shit, so that must be when they were in California. So they were all together in California, and then they fled and came to Austin. I don't remember why. He probably fucked the wrong dude or something.

I mean, how are they not all getting in? This is the guy. Holy crap. This is the guy. So this guy now runs a cult in Hawaii. He fled Austin. He went to Hawaii. So they confront him in Hawaii. He fled Austin. He went to Hawaii. So they confront him in Hawaii in the documentary.

And this is all the place I'm going to buy, Michael Malice. This is the place where I was setting up my big comedy club. I'm like, oh, no, I'm going to have to sage the shit out of this place. I was literally going to bring in exorcists to try to cleanse the room. I'm like, I can't buy this. And then luckily something was wrong and we had like an issue and I got out of the contract. I'm like, I can't buy this. And then luckily something was wrong and we had like an issue and I got out of the contract.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. It's a great place though. Somebody bought it right away, right after I got out of there. How are you going to find the exorcist? Did you look on Yelp? I was going to like figure out a way. I was going to like hire a priest or something.

I was going to do a bunch of different things like that for fun because everyone's going to know like the background of that place. If you watch the documentary, you know the background. And can you tell us where where are you allowed to say where this place is oh yeah it's on bk's road it's called the one world theater yeah it's beautiful somebody bought it like i said immediately afterwards it's a gorgeous place it's an amazing place to see shows too it's like great acoustics there it It's really, but the story behind it is this cult.

Yeah. I mean, even if like, if we worked out all the issues that we had had, it would have been a great comedy club. I mean, it's a beautiful place. It would have required some work to turn it. Isn't BK Rove a little out of the way though? Yeah. Yeah.

It's a little out of the way. But it's like. No, no. I'm just asking. Yeah. Just to be sure. But everybody's like, oh, I want to stay within like three minutes of downtown Austin. Like, come on.

It's weird coming from California. Because California, like the Ice House in Pasadena was no problem. Like everybody went out to the Ice House. We had shows there all the time. That's like a 35-minute drive. Yeah. But it was still, it was like normal to go to Irvine. That was normal.

Yeah, but. It's funny. That's the spot. Oh, that's beautiful. It's gorgeous. They did an amazing job. It looks like it belongs in Epstein's Island, though. It doesn't when you're in it.

When you're in it. It's a gorgeous building. I just forgot. That's how much they loved him. They built him this gorgeous building. That's how much they loved him. That's how much they loved him. That's what they were told to do.

Yes, but they did it with love. Look how good it is. I mean, come on. That's a beautiful place. How did it go south? I can't really talk about it. It wasn't a giant issue. Not the deal. The club. The cult. Oh, the cult. Yeah. Oh, um,

the cult, I think it just all fell apart. Well, he's fucking all these guys, and these allegedly. They're not all getting STDs? They're all saying he's fucking them. They're not all getting AIDS? I mean, I guess he's only fucking them. I guess they're all, like, only interacting with each other. I don't know what's going on. Okay. I don't know why they're not. Maybe. I mean there. I guess he's only fucking them. I guess they're all like only interacting with each other I don't know what's going on. Okay. I don't know why they're not maybe they did get STDs or they left that part out

Right, I don't know but I do know that like the whole thing's like he started getting weird plastic surgery and Allegedly and you know the whole thing is wild. Well, you should watch the documentary. It's on Amazon Prime. Okay? It's called Holy hell, you can watch you're gonna go oh my god it's so sad because some of these people at the end of the documentary like this one lady now she's like a 50 year old dog walker she's like what the

fuck like I just blew 20 years of my life with these people like that was like the saddest part about this documentary when they wake up people are it's so important to say over and over again if someone is stuck in that sort of a situation, it's all of us. You can catch the flu, right? You can also catch a mind virus.

Being in a cult is like a mind virus. If you grow up believing that a Catholic priest who has been molesting children would never do it because he's a man of God. Right. Guess what? That's the same thing. It's the same mindset. It's just much more organized and much larger. But it's the same sort of mindset that would allow you to think that way. It's the same mindset that allowed these poor fucking people to waste 20 years of their life with this guy who's like a crazy person.

I had a friend of mine, casual friend, who texts me out of nowhere. I talk to her maybe once every few years. And she's like, oh, have you heard of this thing called Landmark? Oh, no. Jesus Christ. And I go, yeah, it's a cult.

And she's like, oh, haha, you're so funny. Anyway, I wanted to give you this great opportunity. And she just kept texting me. And it's just like, I don't know what they're how does she not know you that's the well because i'd be the big fish if she could if it doesn't she understand who is this person how does she not know you she i've known she's friends with a couple i mentioned earlier um i've known her friends of friends since for like 20 years how funny is it when's, their ability to read someone is so off that they would come to you with some cult proposal?

I don't think that's how it works. I think it's more like if you have even the slightest chance, you have to go for it no matter what. And if she came back, it's like, who's the biggest? I bet you they sit them down and they say, who's the biggest name in your cell phone? And that's going to be your target. That's how it works.

You don't want to just grab some like bag lady. who's the biggest name in your cell phone. And that's going to be your target. That's how it works. Oh, boy. You don't want to just grab some bag lady. You want someone who's got some kind of slight cred because then he's bringing his people over. Of course. And then you could be the one, like, oh my God, she brought in whoever, Rogan, Michael Malice.

And if she doesn't understand that she's in a cult. Right. Is Landmark a cult? I don't know anything about it. Yes. What is it? God, I knew this girl many years ago. I don't want to mention her name.

And she said to me flat out, we're hanging out, and she goes, I don't need religion because I have Landmark. And I'm like, you're not selling this. You're scaring me. And the point is, it's like. That's adorable. It's a basic. I'm going to get sued. I know. Because when you's like- That's adorable. It's a basic, I'm going to get sued. I know.

Because when you cross these people, forget it. It's game over. But it's kind of, I think you're buying tapes and you're paying to attend meetings. And what is it? Is it a self-improvement thing? Yes, yes. But it's been around since the 70s. What is their self-improvement angle? Is it possible that someone could pull this off and do a good job?

What do you mean? Make a good cult. Solid cult. With rules, like the country. Like the Bill of Rights. Oh. You know, have a good cult. Put together a good cult.

I think that... Oh, God. Redefine what's possible in your relationships, your work, your family, your communities. What matters most to you? Actually, this sounds good, Lex. I might have to join. It sounds good, Lex. Put it up.

See this? Let me go. No sounds good, Lex. Put it up. Let me see this. No, I'm sorry. Scroll back down. You know what? Hold on, Joe. It worked because now I'm talking about this shit on Joe Rogan and he's pulling out the free ad. I'm not showing anybody. They have to look at it themselves. Bring about positive permanent shifts in the quality

of your life. Create power, freedom, self-expression, and peace of mind. This sounds good, bro. All this sounds good. What have I done? Malice, what the fuck is wrong with you? More than 94% of participants surveyed reported that Landmarks Forum made a profound and lasting difference in their lives. How about that's good?

That's 94%. That's better than the vaccine. I made a mistake. The Landmarks Forum is designed to bring about positive permanent shifts in the quality of your life in just three days. These shifts are the direct cause for a new and unique kind of freedom and power. The freedom to be

at ease and the power to be effective in the areas that matter most to you. The quality of your relationships, the confidence in which you live your life, your personal productivity, your experience of the difference you make, your enjoyment of life. Those are all positive things, Michael Malice. I can't believe her plan, apparently, to get you to do an ad read for Landmark.

I don't know what they're doing. Holy crap. Maybe they're doing something that's below that. It's about Xenon and living on the moon. I want to change the subject as quickly as possible to literally anything else. Is it a thing where it seems negative because the people that get involved in it are all those folks that are just – you know how there's some people that never seem to find an anchor in life. You know, they kind of drift from one way of thinking to another. I think a lot of the ways these organizations work, and it's not necessarily all bad, is that they provide lonely people a sense of community. This is one of the ways AA works, and this is not a knock against AA.

If you're someone who's an addict or an alcoholic and you're kind of alone in the gutter, you've got your drinking buddy or your heroin buddy, and now you've got a group of people who share your experiences, have your worldview. You're not alone. It's positive. I know AA gets a lot of knocks. I got a lot of friends who are in recovery. I think it's just done terrifically good things for them. It doesn't work for everybody. Yeah, I know a lot of friends who've had great benefits. Yeah, and that is actually a real benefit.

I think you were talking earlier about social media. I think a lot of people tend to be very isolated. There's a lot of lonely people out there, more than even most of us realize. And we're social animals. We're hungry to have someone. We want to be seen. We want someone who understands us. We want someone not to feel so alone all the time.

And, yeah, that's what something like AA provides. Church provides that too. Church does provide that too, yeah. All these like that kind of Sam Harris atheism that religion's all negative and this kind of atheism thing, I'm like there's a reason people gravitate toward it and it's not all that they've been duped. It does provide a service for a lot of people. Yeah, it definitely provides the agreement that you're all making with each other. You're all kind of making with each other this agreement that you're there to be good

Persons good people in the eyes of God like there's a but it's also in the eyes of your community Yes, the eyes are making that agreement. Yeah, so that's also in the eyes of your community You're making an agreement together that you're all gonna follow these principles and you're gonna forgive people and you're gonna help people And you know you're gonna put money together when someone needs something something goes on wrong in the community if you have a moral dilemma you're going to remind yourself you know what like i should do the right thing even it's going to be harder yes but but people are like famous it's like famous for being like very generous to other people that are in their churches like i know of many friends who go to church and they'll talk about how the church raised money because someone had something wrong inside their church and they they needed you know

something fixed or something and they they help each other out. So it's like you just get this feeling of like family when you're part of a community church. It's like you go to see each other on Sunday. You look forward to it. Everybody dresses up. It's a net positive. The problem that people have is with the taking of stories that are very, very old as just fact. That's the only problem that people have with it.

If you looked at the net positives that come out of religions, like other than when they go sideways, right? Like when they impose their religion on others and go into war. But that's like natural human dominance characteristics that are exhibited through like the guise of religion. The best aspects of religion are just living your life with a purpose. It gives you like a scaffolding to think about like moral values and community values and that there's a higher thing above you which helps dissolve the ego and helps you be humble. Also, I think the idea of live as if someone's watching.

And I think that's something I don't think you need religion for that. But if someone needs a religious framework to live this kind of ethical life and like, make sure when you go to sleep, you can honestly say I tried to do the right thing as much as I could to the best of my ability. You can honestly say I tried to do the right thing as much as I could to the best of my ability. I think that's kind of a good thing. The other issue I have is their big suspicion of pleasure or happiness. Yeah. There's a lot of that with religion that if you're having fun or if you are happy, and I know I'm going to get pushback on this, you did something wrong along the way.

Especially this fear of pleasure. That's why black people win. Black churches are the most fun things of all time. Like, you see Biden at the black church, and he's just standing there, like, doesn't know how to move. Oh, my God. He's just standing there, and everybody around him is dancing.

They're all having a great fucking time. They know how to do it, dude. They know how to do it. That's actually one of Neil Hamburger's lines, that when he tells a joke that bombs, he'll say, would that have been funnier if there was a black choir behind me And the answer is probably yes You know who else does it right

Those fucking The people who speak in tongues The snake charmers The charismatics Well the people that speak in tongues You know what that is like That's like a verbal mosh pit. That's what it's like.

And everybody's like, Jesus speaks through him! Jesus speaks through him! There's something about that, too. There's something super entertaining about that old Sam Kennison-style revival church-type preacher. That's a fucking entertaining thing to watch. But it also kind of harkens back to the Greek Bacchanals where everyone's just drunk and just having orgies and just losing their minds.

But it's the same kind of thing. It's like you believe Jimmy Swaggart because he's led you into his little realm of control and he's your cult leader. You know, if you believe that guy. If your auntie's like, I've sinned. Remember when he got caught with hookers and blow? Is that what it was?

Is he the one who's back selling rice and cheesy broccoli? No, that's the other guy. Jim Baker. Jim Baker is selling apocalypse food. It's cheesy broccoli. But he had apocalypse food that was under the table table and you would use it as a table and so they were showing how you could store it around the house and instead of like having table legs you could have all this boxed food under your table like it's one of the wildest things you've

ever seen in your life but it's also really funny that like if you guys are in his organization shouldn't you be the ones getting raptured like Like, shouldn't you be like the hundred... Oh, God. There he is eating it. Bulk sampler bundle. Imagine. This is the guy that was this... Now, this has a Sam Kinison connection too, because he was... He had the affair with Jessica Hahn, who was the

secretary, the hot secretary. And Jessica Hahn wound up fucking Sam Kinison. And they had... I forgot about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They had a terrible breakup. They would talk shit about each other on Howard Stern. What do you think of what Howard's become recently? He's the only person I know who's gone, other than Penn maybe, who's gone from being red-pilled to blue-pilled. Yeah.

For people who don't know, let me do a little, because the kids these days don't know. Howard Stern had a guy in his show, Stuttering John john and he would send them out to talk to celebrities and he would ask them the most fucked up questions and this wasn't before this before social media so they had a usually used that a bear you can't just tweet at someone so when jennifer flowers in 92 was announcing that she had an affair with bill clinton people thought was going to sink his candidacy he sent his boy there and he asked her did he use a condom? And then he asked her, are you planning on sleeping with any other presidential candidates? And the reporters there were apeshit and they're trying to kick him out.

But like he would do, he, when he had, and it's really kind of funny when he had these comedians who had like a stick up their ass. Like, I remember he talked to Billy Crystal and Bill Crystal, like, oh, let me have it. And he's like, all right, are you going to be making a sequel to Mr. Saturday Night, like his big bomb? And the look on Billy Crystal's face, just the pure rage was absolutely hilarious. God, that's hilarious. Yeah, he did some wild shit. And then I guess he had a falling out with Howard.

Then he went over to Jay Leno. He was the announcer of the Jay Leno show. So that was a great gig for him. But he was very underrated. He just was willing to... What he had created was a morning show that you had to listen to.

You would go to work and you'd go, oh my god, did you hear Howard? Yeah. He did it every day. It was a super valuable thing because it didn't exist anywhere else. We're around today. We have all these social media memes that are hilarious and fucked up.

We have Reddit threads that are hilarious. There's a lot of stuff out there where people are being outrageous. But back then there wasn't. So you had a boring-ass fucking job where you're, like, sitting in a truck all day, delivering packages or whatever it is, and in that morning, when you get to work, you're listening to Howard fucking Stern,

and he's got some lady who's riding on a vibrator, and she's, like, remember? Yeah, the Sibian. The Sibian, yeah. Sibian, Sibian, yeah. Different gals ride on this thing. No, it was even worse. If people wanted to promote, like, their band, the mom would be controlling it, or the son would be controlling it, the mom would be sitting on it.

Like brother and sister. And you're sitting there and you just want to kill yourself. Jesus Christ. He just went for it. And he got fined by the FCC. For saying like lusty lesbians and lust or something like that? It was just nothing. It was during the Bush era.

And this was back when the right was trying to censor people. And this is our pivot and our shift again. You know, it's really kind of fascinating. It really is. Like the culture shift between right and left authoritarianism. And now people don't recognize that. If you just stopped looking at it in terms of red and blue look at the actions whether it's war suppression of free speech of

pharmacological interventions that are mandatory whatever whatever the fuck it is that used to all be associated with the authoritative right the authoritarian right and now those things are being embraced by the left. And I just think it's I think it's just an ideology thing. And I think we get confused and we think we're on the right side. We're on the right side. And if it's our side that's saying this, for sure, that's the right thing to do. And no one's critically thinking about this. I'm going to play devil's advocate because sometimes I feel like we need more of that because have you heard this show called milf manor uh i have we played a preview and i'm hoping it is what we thought it was oh i've been watching it is it the sons of the ladies oh yeah okay of course so you have a group of young dudes the youngest is 20 and they're in a house with their own moms yeah and it's like a dating, that's the dating pool. Right.

And the first episode, they had to feel their son's blindfolded. They had to feel the son's torsos to guess who their son was. And you're watching this and these are not, by the way, the women seem kind of classy. They have jobs. They're professionals. They don't look like complete gutter rats. And you're watching and you're like,

professionals they don't look like complete gutter rats and you're watching and you're like this is why we need an atom bomb to like destroy destroy the because i'm like i and i can't not watch i can't not watch and you're wondering like who's gonna end up with and the thing is come on isn't it fun that that's a real thing isn't it fun if you went back to like wheel of fortune and you know what the new game show is gonna be like If you went back to like Wheel of Fortune and you go, you know what the new game show is going to be like? But you're talking to me, right? I hosted fucking Fear Factor. That's right.

I hosted Fear Factor for six years. Right, that's right. That was the worst thing. I did like, I don't know how many episodes we did. It's like 148 episodes or something crazy. The worst thing is like, oh no, people are nude and walking down a runway. Yeah. And now it's like, yeah, I'm just dating my, I'm just, my mom's trying to date my bro. I was saying while we were doing it, I was always making fun of it.

I go, we're about three seasons away from the running man. I go, all we need is one natural disaster. I was always joking about it on set. Because one of the things about Fear Factor, episodes one through four, I did sober. Okay. That's it. The whole thing, I was high as a kite. Every time it the whole thing i was high as a kite every time i did it i was high as a kite it was the only time it was fun because then it became really fun because before that it was like i wish these guys didn't i would get this like pity in me

like god i wouldn't want to eat an animal's dick on tv i wish i wish these people like didn't need to get their credit card debt paid so badly. I don't want to do this to them. It's not my idea. There was a couple of times where I told them, don't do it. There was only two times in the history of the show where I went to the producers and I'm like, don't do this. What were they? One of them was bull riding. They were going to have these people

ride bulls. And the fucking stuntmen are incredible. First of all, stuntmen are a different breed of human. They're dudes who don't give a fuck if they break an arm. They're fucking men. They're all these, like, chew-spit. One of them, this guy Perry, he didn't spit his dip out because he was so used to being on sets. He got used to swallowing his dip.

Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's got dip in his mouth and instead of spitting the saliva out, he's swallowing it. Is that gonna make you sick? Not him. The fuck? He did it all day long. So all these folks who were the stuntmen are these fucking rugged, they're

all like martial artists, they all have fucking broken kneecaps and shit. They're all animals, right? And so their version of like what's dangerous physically is different than my version. I'm like, that's a bull. And so this dude says to me, he goes, don't worry about it, boo. It's just a stunt bull. I go, does the bull know he's a stunt bull? Yeah, what the fuck does that mean?

They're less aggressive. Okay. By what measure? By what measure? It's still like 2,000 pounds. Dude. And they're in the cage, right? And they're, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

They're trying to get out of the cage. I'm like, don't do this. I'm like, don't do this. We just rolled the dice. They rolled the dice. Was everyone okay? Everyone was okay. Luckily, but this one light girl, she was light.

She was like 100 pounds. This thing fucking launched her through the air. Yeah, of course. And then kicked backwards and almost hit her head Oh my god, like like this It was terrifying. I mean she lands on her back like it's rough. I Wouldn't have done it I mean I would not have done it and I know there's guys out there that ride bulls and they know what the fuck they're doing

And they're animals and I respect it It's not that I don't think you should do it like I think if you want to do flips on a BMX bike, I want you to do it. Yeah, but be informed what you're doing. Learn how to do it. But don't just jump on it for a fucking TV show. What was the other one? The other one was drink and cum.

What? They had to drink donkey cum. Yeah, exactly. So here's me, right? Imagine me showing up at work. What do they have to do today? High as a kite, right? And they're like, well, we're going to make them play horseshoes to drink donkey cum.

I go, what? How do they? Donkey urine, too. How do you say cum on corporate TV? Sperm. Sperm, you said. Okay. I think.

Okay. What else could you call it? I don't know. Yeah, okay. Maybe semen. Okay. Right? What's the technical?

Sperm. Juice is what they call it in the US. Juice. Donkey juice. Donkey juice. It's What's the technical? Sperm. Juice is what they call it in the US. Donkey juice. Donkey juice. It's clear what it is. Oh, my God. What the fuck? How much did they have to drink?

A lot. It seems like it would be hard to get down. Like a beer stein worth. It seems like it would be hard to get down. Oh, my God. So they were all twins. It was a twins episode. Twin boys and twin girls.

And they drank sperm and urine. I was like, don't do this. But this is the thing. This is what happens when this is on NBC. I remember. I watched it. So someone from NBC gave this the green light. She's crying.

How weird. She looks like Marilyn Manson. While she's drinking cum. This is horrible. Takes her back to prom night. I remember one episode very vividly because they had to eat bull testicles. That's nothing That's not nice. It was these huge dudes and this girl's like hundred pounds and she's like It's not that it's testicles like this is just a lot of food

Yeah, like to get down like it's like a pound of food in five minutes. I can't do that right especially for small people Yes, there's this one guy who is he had to eat Forget what organ it was it was like a dried gallbladder or something like that okay, and our kidney And he's you have a certain amount of time to do it And if you don't complete it and have it swallowed within that time frame Then you're out and this guy was like eating it and just saying there's no problem No problem at all and he was kind of joking around and doing it kind of slow. And then as time was going on, I was like, hey, man, you only got like three minutes left.

And then he starts panicking and starts like, and you can't drink water. He's not drinking water while he's doing it. So he's trying to swallow it. He can't. And he gets like super frustrated. And at the end of it, he's got a chunk of it. And he never swallowed all of it. So he got so upset.

He's just fucking screaming and yelling.'s like fuck fuck it's like it's volume yeah it's a lot of volume and you're not allowed to drink water like in the beginning you think you're gonna be okay but then as time goes on you're like oh my god it's hard to swallow all this shit you know you're chewing some fucking kidney that's some dried up kidney. Do you ever look back like I think a lot of people look back on the Trump presidency like did that really happen? Do you look back like is that my life? Like for six years I was that guy. Dude I look at my life right now like that. What the fuck are you talking about?

My whole life has been like that from day one right out of the womb. I'm like who the fuck is this? Yeah. Yeah all of it. Doesn't make any sense. But that's just who I am. I don't know. I don't know what to do. Did they bring it back or try to? Yeah, they did. We brought it back and that was what killed it. It was the Donkey Kong. Oh, that was the reboot?

That was the reboot. Yeah, we did I feel like it was just too, they were going too far. It was scaring the shit out of me. Like the stunts were too extreme. They were extreme to the point where I was like, hey, someone could fucking die. Like I know we're pulling this off, but if we don't pull it off, like the bull was in the original episodes and the bull one was like early on in the show. And I just think that the producers just like trusted the stunt guys. And I just think stunt guys are just so next level tough. And they're used to dealing with like stunt people and I'm just dealing with like some contestants on a television show and as time went on they became much more conservative

like they didn't do things like that again like I would say after that most of the uh stunts for the whole rest of the first seasons were like reasonable risks like they did a good job of managing that none of them freaked me out but the new ones freaked me out. The new ones, they had like this helicopter thing. And you got what was a bungee cord under the helicopter. And you get launched towards the helicopter. I was like, like, what? Things break. Like, you're like, you got people hanging over a canyon.

It was so wild. They were tied to a tree. And they had to like unlock themselves. And as they unlock themselves, they hit a thing and they go launching because there's a bungee cord that attaches them to a fucking helicopter that's hanging over a canyon so they go flying through the air and then bounce down over this canyon i'm like any wrong calculation any weird wind any fucking like the fraying of the ropes the failure of the metal that's the clasp that holds the bungee cord to the fucking helicopter. Ah!

I was like, this is... Oh, my God. This was terrifying, dude. This terrified the shit out of me. It really did. Oh, my God. Holy crap. So as they unlock themselves...

Yeah. I guess they unlock themselves. Yeah. I guess they didn't have to hit anything. I think they just, they have to figure out all the keys. So it's a race. You have a whole handful of keys and you can get lucky. You can get lucky and get that key the first time. Holy crap. And then she gets launched.

Like, look at that. Holy crap. Bro, fuck all that. Just fuck all that. I can't even stand being like on the top of tall building like I get vertigo I'm we did a lot of tall building stuff too I'd look over the edge like oh yes I can't handle that shit at all even if I'm just hanging out at a party I'm like I can't be near the edge I get vertigo yeah we had

people walk across beams that were set between two buildings in downtown LA but they at least have something attaching yeah that's fine shit but that was when I first found out about Skid Row. I didn't know about Skid Row. It's real. It's a real street. I didn't know that either. Well, I didn't know how bad it was.

It was so bad in the early 2000s. It's gotten worse, though. It's crazy. Way worse. Have you seen those videos on like people just do these YouTubes? They just walk on, it's just tent after tent after tent. Well, I had that guy from Soft White Underbelly. What's that gentleman's name again?

Mark. Yeah. We'll pull it up. But he's done a lot of interviews with these people from down there. Have you ever seen Soft White Underbelly on YouTube? It's really good, dude. Really good. He's a really good

interviewer. And he interviews all of these people that Mark later. Sorry, Mark. I have no more room in my brain. all of these people that... Mark Lata. Okay. Sorry, Mark. I have no more room in my brain. My brain's fucked. But this show that he has on YouTube,

he interviews pimps and gang members and people who are addicted to heroin, street hookers, people with schizophrenia. He interviews this inbred family in the hills of West Virginia. Like, the whole family's inbred. It's crazy. The son talks and barks.

He just barks like a dog. Like, and you see them. It's like, it's so wild. Like that X-Files episode? I'll show it to you. Because it's so crazy that it's, people don't believe it. This is like our crumb shit.

Beyond, beyond. But he, he interviews people and he's like really kind and he's very nonjudgmental. So he gets people to talk about all kinds of stuff like how they got into prostitution.

What was it like the first time they did drugs? When did they know they were hooked? Oh my God. This is the whole family. Oh my God. Dude, it's crazy.

This is Hills Have Eyes. Yeah, yeah. You is the whole family. Oh my god, dude. It's crazy. This is hills have eyes. Yeah Yeah, you hear that guy the barking that That's the son he barks Yeah, let's find see some of the video this is the guy So this is a guy who is like in his probably 50s or 60s. He can't talk. So like a question like that, he can't answer. He can say yes to things like as barks and he nods his head.

But he can understand. He understands't answer. He can say yes to things as barks and he nods his head. But he can understand. He understands some things, but like him saying, tell me about your brother, he probably got uncomfortable, which is why he left, because he can't talk. What's your favorite memory, Ray? Do you remember anything about your life? This is the most uncanny valley shit I've ever seen. Yeah, it's the whole family, too. It's not just this joke. Are they just all fucking each other?

Well, we went over this before but it was it was like more than inbred it was like inbreds inbreeding oh my god yeah and oh my god look at that guy on the sofa the whole family's like that fuck some of them can talk one of them graduated high school give me some volume on this so we can hear it. What are your names? I'm sorry. Who is this? His name's Ray. Ray. I remember Ray.

I photographed you, Ray. Do you remember? Years ago. See, that's what he can do. He can nod and yes. You can ask him yes or no questions. And Timmy. Is that Tim Pool?

You guys grew up here in West Virginia. Sorry, Tim. Tim Pool, that was Beanie. Yeah, sorry, Tim. It's like when Clark Kent takes his glasses off. How? Nobody recognizes Superman with those stupid glasses on. I have Tim Pool's Beanie hanging in my house next to Alex Jones' tinfoil hat.

So this is just one of his crazy videos. His many, many, many videos. Oh, it even says InBridge Family, the Whitakers. Yeah. It's, I mean, the channel.

36 million views. Holy crap. Yeah. Oh, this is an update. This is the sequel. Yeah, well, there's a different video too. Yeah, he went back

and visited them. He's visited them more than once. Which tries to help out. but it's like the the the community is very protective of them so he had oh good okay i'm glad that they're like being not like bullied and and i think they probably have been a lot well sure but if the community is looking out for them that's good yeah they wouldn't when strangers come around then other people from the community come around and investigate okay so he had that happen. Okay good. Yeah, so it's good

But mark is like he's in Skid Row every day and they like filming he you know pays people and does interviews with them and He's just sort of documenting Some aspects of our society that you you don't get a chance to see the humanity in these people. You just see people living on the street and you don't, you know, you don't think of them as being like someone's daughter or someone's son or someone's sister or mother. Like you just think, oh, that's a fucking loser junkie.

You know, look at this loser. Well, I mean, a lot of them are just mentally ill, right? A lot of them are mentally ill. And a lot of them are going to be self-medicating. Some of them are not. They right a lot of them are gonna be a lot of them are self-medicating Some of them are not they don't seem that mentally ill what it seems like is they're they're products of horrible abuse So this is uh, los angeles in 2023 if you drive down the street, it is a fucking dystopian Nightmare that you couldn't imagine the entire sidewalk on both sides is filled with tents. It's just so insane, the sheer numbers of homeless,

that if this was zombies, if this was zombies instead of homeless people, we would be overwhelmed with zombies. It would be like a zombie. You would have to leave. But Joe, Austin was like this. Not that bad. But it was certainly in that direction. It was on that direction. They cleaned a lot of it up,

but I've been informed that they didn't clean it up by the lake. I've been informed that if you go by the lake, there's a lot of homeless people. But I remember walking down Cesar Chavez, it was tent after tent after tent. I was with a friend and it was very disturbing. Something happened during the pandemic where it really accelerated, you know, because of the economic stress that people went under.

And I think the mental health stress that a lot of people went under. And, you know, so many people just lost it. And, you know, so many people got fired. I mean, you think about the unprecedented loss of jobs during the lockdown and what kind of an increase that must have had in homelessness. It must be off the charts. Well, I just don't understand the argument for people who think this is something that's like ideal or good or acceptable. You don't have to fix that? Right.

Are you guys the government or not? Are you in charge of everything, including our health? So if you are, why aren't you doing something about that? Especially because the people who are there who are mentally ill, maybe they're drug addicts, they're the victims of violence from the others too. It's not like it's safe for them or it's ideal for them. So I don't understand. I've never heard a good argument for why this is allowed to happen. They're sleeping in cloth houses on the street with a bunch of other mentally ill people, like the possibility of danger is off the charts. And it's almost like we have two worlds that are

going on simultaneously, right? You have two worlds that are going on simultaneously, right? You have the world that you and I live in, and then you have homeless tent world where it's basically like fucking Mad Max and no one's doing jack shit about it. And who knows who's running things and who's fucking who and who's giving people drugs and who's shitting on the sidewalk. And it's, it's happening in the same city. So you've got guys like you that are living great. You got a nice place and look at the view and you have your coffee at the local coffee shop and three blocks away is Mad Max.

And it's, it's, you're talking about thousands and thousands of people living like this. It's not a hundred. But the question I always ask is, who's this benefiting? Because someone's benefiting from this if it's being allowed to happen.

Well, my friend, Coleon, Coleon Noir. Oh, I know, okay. Coleon, he was a lawyer and he was talking to this guy in San Francisco and he was like, what's the problem? It's like, they just don't have any funding to fix this? And the guy said, no, no, no, no. No, the problem is there's a bunch of

people that get paid to work on the homeless situation. And they get big salaries, big salaries, six figures. One of them was like 200 plus thousand dollars working on homelessness and not doing a very good job of it. I mean, like, what are you doing to fix it? What are you doing to fix it when it's this big? If you, anybody that says they're working on the whole, well, this is our solution, and you go down skid row, they're like, you failed. Like, you guys failed. Like, this is a

national, this is like a, it's a national tragedy. Like, that this exists in every city. It should be, we should be embarrassed by it, and it should be fixed as quickly as possible. It should be like one of our number one priorities is not let people camp out in the streets all night long everywhere. Well, it's fixed when there's some kind of a big event coming through town.

They round them up. They put them somewhere, and then it just reverts to normal. Shuffle them. We have how much to send to Ukraine? We don't have enough to fix this? How did we just develop that money to ship to Ukraine? Because it was imperative. We needed that money. We don't need the money to fix these homeless situations. It was funny. My buddy, John, who lives in Burbank, who's one of my closest

friends, like when the proposition here was on or the referendum, whatever it was on the ballot to kind of clean up the, make it illegal to sleep on the street in a tent. And he's like, I don't believe it. Like, where are they going to put all these people? And I go, I don't care. Like the point is house them somewhere. They don't have to be have primetime real estate, but this isn't good for them. This isn't good for anybody.

It's not good for anybody. But the thing about the housing them is in many situations, what happens is they make them be clean. So if you want to stay, yeah. If you want to stay in this situation, you have to be clean, which is, you have to be clean. Which is, you know, like they had this one area outside of Brentwood. Had something to do with some veterans park or something like that where they allowed people to camp.

They didn't come up with a solution. We're going to allow you to camp out in this one area. We're going to provide you with these places to sleep But you have to be clean and so you know what happened people put tents just on the other side of the fence, okay? And so they got all the benefits being right there, but they could still do drugs They got all their community. Everyone's right there. You're free to come and go walk in now as you want You just can't sleep there Do you did you there's something else I want to talk to you about I'm glad I remembered it Did you hear and I want to hear your thoughts on it that my second favorite politician? I forget the guy's name

I'm so sorry He introduced a bill in the state legislature for Texas for Texas to become an independent country And it's that's you did you know, that was like, we're like the last state to give in, right? Texas was? I think if you go back and look at Texas's original, what it really originally was, it was like a republic. Right, the Republic of Texas.

Yeah. And there's still a house where the ambassador owned. What year did it become a state? Oh, I don't know. It's gotta be like 1830s or 40s, I would guess. I think there was a lot of people that were super skeptical about joining the union. 18, oh, okay, not too shabby. 1845. Yeah. The 28th state. For nine years, it was its own country. That's so crazy. That's so crazy. I mean, what's your thoughts on that?

I think it's a stupid idea. Why? I'm all for it. You're all for us becoming another country? Oh, yeah. And then we get invaded. Why? By who? By the rest of the country. You don't want to be apart from all these maniacs. You don't want to be in another country than people that live in Oklahoma. Listen, they hate each other enough about football.

Do you know how bad they'd hate each other if Texas was another country? You needed a passport to get in? There's lots of countries I hate right now. I'm not interested in invading them. Well, look at Ukraine and look at Russia. Right. Right next to each other. You don't think that there's a possibility in the future, like maybe 100 years from now,

if Texas becomes a country that New Mexico doesn't just invade us? Wait, but the concern is that right now Washington's going to invade us. Right now? Yes. If we stay? Yes. In what way? Meaning if Texas or Florida or any of these other states becomes too defiant, or if it's the other way around, if you have a Republican administration and some leftist state decides to be like, we're not going to be enforcing borders or immigration rules, someone might send in the feds.

And they talk about it all. In fact, just Governor Abbott had to stand up to Biden and make this bill, or I don't remember what exactly it was, but just insisting that the National Guard's answer to him and not to the president. I know this is a bill in New Hampshire as well, I think, called Save the Guard. Well, that's why states' rights are important. in New Hampshire as well, I think, called Save the Guard. Well, that's why states' rights are important.

Yeah, but it's a lot easier to not have to worry about D.C. than to expect D.C. to lessen their power. Yeah. I don't know, man. I think we should be moving towards

a better country. Yeah, that's what the Republic of Texas would be but I think together collectively yeah us Texans you're hilarious it's true I'm could not I don't want to have a passport if I need to go to Philly what so don't go to Philly I'm going to Philly but you have a pass I do shows you have a passport yeah but I want to use that every time I fly what's the different Hampshire that's stupid well you have to show ID anyway at the airport. I like America.

Be in America. I think we just need to figure out why we're in these ideological rifts that are so fucking polarizing and rabid. I think we need to figure that out. I think that's possible. Just like I think the hippie movement came out of nowhere in the 50s. I think there's a radical, rational, centrist movement that could come about today. I really do.

I think there's enough people like you and I that just think this is bananas, this subscribing to one predetermined pattern of behavior and fucking rules of thought, and the other one is like polar opposite of it, and you could switch, but you can only switch once. Well, yeah, that's perfect. So you have Texas, and you have I don't give a fuck,

and you can have your choice. Do you think this yeah, that's perfect. So you have Texas and you have, I don't give a fuck. And you can have your choice. Do you think this is impossible? It's going to happen? No, no, I don't think it's impossible. I think if something really horrible happened, it could happen. Yeah. Something went down.

I'm thinking of Nigel Farage when he was on the floor of the EU when Brexit was executed. And he said, when I came here 17 years ago, you all laughed at me. You're not laughing now, are you? So I- 17 years from now, you could be correct. Yeah. It's on the, it's officially part of the Texas Republican state, their bill. There's a bunch of things- Platform, excuse me. With all due respect for Texans. There's a bunch of things that uh i don't know if you give texans the right to vote on oh i don't know that we're going to be a democracy once texas becomes

free there's some wild people living in the state women's suffrage is going to be a question no i don't think that'll be a problem i mean they had an ann richardson was the governor and richard yeah but that was over 20 years ago she was a different kind of democrat Democrat, though. She wasn't. Yeah, she was. How? She was different than the ones you get today. It was like pre-woke. Yeah, yeah, that's true. She was different than today.

Pre-woke Democrat. She was a sassy broad. Yeah, and she was like a strong woman. Like, she was, you know, you can't be like a wimp. Yeah, but she got her ass handed to her by George W. Bush. Eh. George W. Bush back then was not bad. There's a misconception.

If you go and listen to George W. Bush's speeches when he was running for governor, and then look at when, I don't know what declined, what happened to him, but something happened to his ability to speak well. many years very articulate very bright man and he won or at least held his own in those debates four years later with john kerry he wasn't speaking complete sentences poland do you think that he ran a ruse on us a ruse yeah this guy ran a ruse on us this man this man ran a hustle upon us do you think that um maybe that's what he did? How so? Maybe he just played dumb. I think he was- I'm going to hand this fucking torch over to Chaney. I'm going to be over here painting. I think he's clearly a lot smarter than he let on.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And he leaned into this kind of good old boy crap. Like Larry the Cable Guy. Yeah. That kind of deal. Yeah, but I don't know. I'm just very excited. Larry's name is Dan. Is it really? Yeah, but I don't know. I'm just very excited. Larry's name is Dan.

Is it really? Yeah, he's a hilarious comic. Dan Whitney. He follows me on Twitter. Larry's a great guy. It's a character. It's a character and he's a funny joke writer. He's a funny guy.

He's got some good jokes. I'm sitting here. I got Alex yesterday to endorse the idea. You have an idea of leaving Texas. No, Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas.

Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas. Texas? No, of leaving Texas. Texas is reserving sovereignty, yeah. And I think it's going to happen. And here's the other reason why I think it's going to happen. You can talk a lot of people into it. If it was 2014 and I came into this room and I said, which is more likely? Texas is going to declare its independence

or Donald Trump's going to be our next president? Everyone listening to this would put their money on Texas and they'd be right to do it. I don't know. when trump ran for president i joked about it on my netflix special in 2016 before the election people were laughing yeah the idea i'm like he can win yeah of course he any any can this is the other thing that drives me crazy either nominee can win the idea that kamala harris can't win or biden can't win or Biden can't win or Trump can't win, you're crazy. If you have one of the two parties behind you, you have a fighting chance, period. Yeah, I was saying that I hoped Hillary can win.

I hoped Hillary won because I wanted them to have a woman president so they could say, oh, women suck at this too. Everybody sucks at that job. No woman's going to do a great job. No man's going to do a great job. No man's going to do a great job. They all suck. Julia Louis-Dreyfus was tweeting about how like, oh, democracy is great. You should go out and vote. And I just replied to her.

I go, you won several Emmys for showing for years that politicians are sociopaths. That was your character. She blocked me instantly. Isn't that amazing? Yeah. Isn't that amazing? No, that's only the character. Yeah, it's not real life.

It's real life. Everyone's kind and they look out for the average amazing? Yeah. Isn't that amazing? No, that's only the character. Yeah, it's not real life. It's real life. Everyone's kind and they look out for the average person. Yeah. People just fucking hang themselves 30 miles from their home, shoot themselves in the chest and they find no weapon, but they declare it a suicide. Whatever, whatever. Are you- Whatever, whatever, Michael Merrill.

Are you white-pilled or black-pilled about the future of this country? Oh, I'm okay. I'm okay? What does that mean? I'm okay. I'm like a gray. What does that mean? I don't like it now, but I think we'll have sunnier days. Yeah, that's white-pilled. It's gray.

Yeah, that's not gray. It's white-pilled. I'm gray. It's not black, and it's not white. The white-pilled's hope. Yeah, but I'm not totally hopeful. Okay. The reality of human life is that we're subject to a host of uncontrollable natural disasters that are imminent. Yes. They're going to happen.

Yes. Yellowstone's going to blow. We're going to get hit by an asteroid, and we might nuke ourselves, too. Sure. Like, all that stuff is real, too. So that's all on the table. I've talked to enough people that are like really, they're really educated in the history of ancient cultures and ancient civilizations. And the evidence of natural disasters wiping people out and people having to start from scratch, it seems like we're a part of like this giant never-ending cycle of getting knocked back into the Stone Age and then rebuilding to a new version of complex society I think we're on a version of that now but I think there's been many versions of that yeah I think

that that's also on the table for us but I think it'd be a lot easier for us to bounce back than someone 2,000 years ago with our technology and our ability to know no no not at all not at all because when it hits first of all very few people survive and everything goes to shit there's no electricity no generators work does no one pumping oil no one knows how to make a generator no one knows how to make a cell phone so all that technology is lost the Jim Baker people do it so what would this be like a meteor other than a meteor hitting the earth super volcano would kill almost all of us the Yellow Yellowstone super volcano, it's a caldera volcano.

They didn't realize that it was so big until somewhere in the 2000s, I think it was. They did satellite imagery and they realized, oh my God, that's the caldera of a volcano. Like this Yellowstone thing. We thought it was just this crazy place with hot springs. Like, no, that's a super volcano that is a continent killer and it blows every six to eight hundred thousand years and everyone dies like the whole fucking country dies and It happens every six to eight hundred thousand years the last time it happened was like six hundred thousand see that's another reason

Texas should be its own country well. We'll get it. We'll get hit. We'll get hit See, that's another reason Texas should be its own country. Well, we'll get hit. We'll get hit. We're all going to die. If that happens, we're fucked. Like, maybe people in New Zealand will live, and those folks will be the new people. You know, it's happened before.

Was it Toba? Was that what it was? Yeah. In Indonesia? There was a Toba volcano in Indonesia 70,000 years ago, they think, knocked the human race down to a few thousand people. Holy shit, really? Yeah. Okay.

These things happen, man. And they happen with regularity in terms of the, if you look at the timeline of the earth, they happen all the time. It's just when? Is it going to happen now or is it going to happen a thousand years from now when we have enough technology to mitigate its effects in some way? But when it happens, you get nuclear winter. Everything dies.

No crops. Nothing. The sun doesn't get through. The skies are filled with ash. There's no food. You can't really live your life with concern about something like that happening. I'm not living my life with concern. I'm saying that's also on the table.

Sure. So that's why I'm gray. Okay. Get it? Because I'm like, yeah this hopefully it's going to be great you know but maybe not and for all of us the end is going to suck i'm i'm glad to hear you're more concerned as i am if i had to choose between natural disaster or like you know we're all going to end up killing each other i'm uh concerned with both but i'm i'm always concerned

with things that people are dismissive of or that they don't think of as a threat because that's when they hit you. When something like nobody, like people lived in Pompeii, they're like, that volcano? Don't worry about it. We're good. Until you have to worry about it. Until, you know, they just didn't understand. Like you're in a terrible spot to put a city. Like if that thing goes and it goes all the time, it just doesn't go within your lifetime. So you don't understand. Like you're dealing with an ant's timeline. You know, an ant to us, an ant lives a fucking few days.

They're gone. We live a hundred years if we're lucky. Volcanoes are hundreds of thousands of years of activity. And they go on these long cycles, some of them, these super volcanoes, and they just fucking blow. And you never know when it's going to happen. And they create fucking islands in the middle of the ocean. That's what Hawaii is. It's a fucking volcano that sprung out of the ocean.

And now you go vacation there and put fucking suntan ocean on and sit out there and have margaritas. You're on a volcano. You're on the creative and destructive force of the earth, the thing that makes mountains, and you're camping out on it. And that's our life. That's the reality of living on earth is this is not stable. That's why all these nutty people that are talking about climate change

is going to kill us and it's going to kill us. It's not good. It's not good that we're polluting. It's not good that we're having a net negative effect on the atmosphere. But also, there's so many other things to be concerned with. We have zero solution to super volcanoes. We have zero solution to asteroid impacts. We have zero solution to things that have wiped out.

We know they killed off the dinosaurs. Right, right. We know it. They fucking find the crater in the Yucatan. They find craters all over the place. They found a big one in Greenland or in Iceland. Isn't there one in Siberia or somewhere? Oh, yeah.

The Tunguska one. Yeah, yeah. That's the one, yeah. That's the one that they think happened during the time where Earth passes through this meteor shower. Or is it a comet shower? How do they refer to it? But there's-

I think it's every September No, every November and every June we pass through this thing and most of the time it just gives you meteor showers in the sky You see like, you know people get excited. You can kind of predict when that happens Well, that's why they know that it's gonna happen because it it happens during these times we go through this meteor shower They think that that is what happened in Tunguska in the early 1900s because it happened during that timeline So whatever this thing was it didn't even make impact with the ground it detonated in the sky Oh, and it killed like a fuck like a million acres or some crazy shit of trees How much did I know I exaggerated that number how How much did, I think I did, how much

did Tunguska destroy? No, but it was like some kind of crazy bomb equivalent. Like a bomb. Yeah, well that's what they think happened to Earth around 11,800 years ago. That's the Younger Dryas Impact Theory. It's during the same timeline. 12 megaton explosion. Jeez

Louise. Holy shit, look at that picture. And to this day, there's no trees there. Seriously? Yes, to this day. Why? Because it's fucking nuked. I don't know, man. Is it radioactive, like literally?

It just blew it out, man. I don't know. It just blew out whatever fucking it did to that area. That soil sucks. Holy crap. Isn't that crazy? 1908, that wasn't That soil sucks. Holy crap. Isn't that crazy? 1908. That wasn't that long ago. So they think that's also what happened at the end of the Ice Age.

They think that the Earth and North America's ice caps got smashed by comets. And that's what caused the Great Lakes. And that's what caused this mass erosion, topographical details in the Earth that lead out to the ocean like these enormous fucking floods and

That's probably Noah's Ark flood. That's what it probably knocked human beings back into the fucking Stone Age again So our idea of civilization propping up or emerging around six thousand years ago Which they used to think these guys are saying it's probably way earlier than that I was just a psycho 20,000 every boot. Yeah, and that's how that explains the pyramids that explains these incredibly complex Geometric structures they built in Africa who knows how many thousand years ago how the fuck did they do it? No one knows no one has any good ideas all the ideas suck all of them really ridiculous and the Structures are insane.

Who did that? When did they do it? So, you know, they think somewhere around 2500 years BC. But these guys are saying, you can't carbon date stone. This is all guesswork. And it's really possible that it could be way earlier than that. You don't mean like the Great Pyramid? Yes. They know who built the Great

Pyramid, don't they? No, they don't. Yes, they know who built the Great Pyramid don't know they don't know they definitely don't know they there's Archaeologists have attributed to certain Pharaohs, but there's a lot of problems with that first of all the Great Pyramids They said they think they're tombs right, but there's no evidence of their tombs There's they've never found like Pharaohs in them or anything that aren't they burial chambers no no no those are different areas That's not the pyramids. Not the pyramids themselves. The pyramids are so massive. There's 2,300,000 stones in the Great Pyramid. The Great Pyramid was the tallest building on Earth until like 1860, I think.

It was something crazy like that, yeah. There's stones that were cut from a quarry that was 500 miles away. Like, they have no idea how they did that. No idea how they moved them. No idea how they got them through the mountains. They cut obelisks that were like thousands of tons. They moved them through the mountains and got them hundreds of miles away. They have no idea how they did that. They were probably very sophisticated, but in a different way than us. They probably had

technology that we haven't figured out yet because we went to combustion engines and electricity, and that's how we figured out how to use human creativity and constantly innovating and created technology that went in this way. But it's really possible that another culture, 20,000 years ago or whatever, had figured out a way to innovate the way we have with combustion engines and electronics,

but in a completely different way. I don't know what they would way. I don't know what they would use. I don't know how they did it. But if you imagine human beings going from the Roman Empire 2000 years ago to what we enjoy today, that's a tiny blip in time when you're talking about 20,000, 30,000 years. If these people figured out some form of technology, some form of technology that we still haven't figured out yet, it's totally possible that that could be the case. And if that's the case, they got hit. They got boom, boom, comets slammed into the earth.

A giant percentage of the population died. The people that survived clawed and scraped for generations. And they lived like barbarians and they forgot everything and then they rebuilt or moved into the pyramids or like well to your point uh the sphinx which is obviously one of the most amazing structures the ancient world the egyptians don't talk about it like it's just there and they don't know when it was built or why and it's just odd that you imagine talking about new york and never the Statue of Liberty in your literature. Like it doesn't make sense.

So that I know they don't have any kind of good explanation for. I know. I'm glad you brought that up. And it was buried for a long time. The Sphinx was not buried for a long time. It was buried up to its neck. The Sphinx also has an African face and it's smaller than the shape of the rest of the body. It's like not in proportion and it's much newer.

Like it doesn't have the erosion. So they think that during the time when the pharaohs ran Egypt, that they might have redone that in the shape of, I forget which pharaoh they're attributed to, but there's some controversy about that. But here's why it's interesting that you brought up the Sphinx, because the temple of the Sphinx is the best evidence that it's older than people think it is. Because the temple of the Sphinx is a guy named Dr. Robert Chalk. What do you mean the temple of the Sphinx. Because the temple of the Sphinx is the best evidence that it's older than people think it is.

Because the temple of the Sphinx is a guy named Dr. Robert Chalk. What do you mean the temple of the Sphinx? The temple that's around the Sphinx. The area where the Sphinx is carved out of. So the stones that they cut out of this area to make this ground, this flat wall

that has a bunch of different kinds of stone in it. And some of it is more dense and harder, and the other stuff is more porous, and it gets eroded quicker. So there's all this evidence of thousands of years of rainfall on these walls. And there's a guy named Dr. Robert Schock, who's a geologist from Boston University. And he he measured it and he went there and like looked at it and examined it for just from the terms of like as a geologist, not as a historian, because it fucks with the timeline because the last time there was rain in the Nile Valley was like 9,000 years ago. So it had to be thousands of years older than that because it has erosion

from thousands of years of rainfall because the Nile Valley used to be that's what it was when they first found it right when they had to that was like in the olden days but look out small the faces and compared to the rest of the body if they think it might have actually been a lion originally and one of the Pharaohs okay that's why the face is noticeably less eroded than the rest of it, but you see the walls on the outside Yeah, see that's the temple. I see those lines those fissures According to dr. Robert shock. He says those lines are a clear sign of water erosion He's like you don't get that kind of erosion from sand and wind

He goes the way it there's there's like videos that describe it in cartoon form or in illustration form or images, but those type of fissures are only created with erosion from water for thousands of years of rainfall. The problem with that is they think that that's 2,500 BC. So what he's saying is, no, it's thousands and thousands of years older than that. And we don't know who did it. We don't know what happened. Like, you're just looking at structures. Right, right. You're just guessing.

I mean, there's, they're educated guesses. But when people come along with opposing information or opposing ideas and theories about how it all went down, the archaeologists that have been teaching their version of ancient history they're very rigid and they don't want to accept like new ideas they call them racist or they'll call them racist yeah oh they call graham hancock racist for what about this it doesn't make any sense it's just they just throw that word at it like as if somehow or another redate it's first of all even if it's like 20,000 years ago it's Africans

but Africans made the pyramids 100% you know how I know how they're in Africa well no but I mean it's in Africa

if you're ascribing advanced civilization to Africans that's pro-African that's not anti-African exactly that's what I'm saying like none of it

makes any sense it's so dumb it's maybe maybe because he's a white man by the way he's married to a brown woman, okay? Beautiful woman who's amazing his wife Santa so but the point is is like he's just talking about ancient history This is none of it has to do with race or anything

He's just talking about human beings and they they'll come up with all sorts of like pseudo science labels They put on it and misinformation And they were telling him this forever. And the more time goes on, the more they find evidence that he's correct. It's happening over and over and over and over and over and over again, to the point where they've moved the dates of complex civilization all the way back to 12,000 years ago now because of Gobekli Tepe. When they first found these fissures in the Temple of the Sphinx, they were like, there's no way, there's no evidence of any culture that existed that was sophisticated that long ago.

Where's the culture? Where's the evidence? Well, now they have evidence. So it's like because of Gobekli Tepe. What is that? It's a giant structure in Turkey that's like 12,000 years old. Okay. They know it was purposely covered. Someone buried it up.

Someone like covered it 12,000 years ago. I guess they know that because the soil samples are uniform. Okay. Oh, okay. Yeah. In terms of what they do. It wasn't just gradual over time. Exactly.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. This is all the evidence that shows that this was probably covered by like some invading army. There was literally a coverup of an ancient civilization. Ah, it's a literal coverup. Yeah. It's a literal coverup. Yeah.

When was this discovered? This was discovered by a goat herder, I believe, or a sheep herder. And he was walking along this mountainside, and he saw this cornerstone that was sticking up. It looked like a right angle that he thought was weird. So he starts digging at it, and he starts moving it around, and then he starts digging around it. It looks like Stonehenge almost. He starts calling in scientists. He's like, hey, we got some shit here.

And so it's immense. It's immense. To this day, they only have, I think, 5% of it or 10% of it has been excavated. And they've found through LIDAR, there's similar structures that are all over the area. So this is just one of many of these structures that was look, some barbarians probably fucking came in, just slashed everybody up and decided to cover their shit. Yeah, their holy areas. Yeah, fuck you.

We're gonna cover this. Yeah, fuck you. You know, like think about like what the Mongols did. Holy crap. I've never heard of this. It's amazing, right? But think about what the Mongols did where they would like wipe out an entire city, kill everybody with like bows and arrows and knives and shit and and just level the city and do it to the ground people been doing that forever

they probably did that to these folks whoever had these structures they probably killed them all and then covered all their shit up fuck you what about the conquistadors whatever was when they're finding that is that the Mayas or the Incas where they just stood there and their arms were just tired because they just stood there killing guys arms were just tied because they just stood there killing guys just came at them one after another

and just killed them all day. It was fucking crazy. Yeah, they thought the Aztecs thought that they were gods. Yeah, because they're on horseback and then they're blonde so they came over from the sea

like they'd been prophesied. You know what's crazy too is that horses used to be from North America. Then they moved elsewhere and they came back. Yeah, they died off and they think they died off at the same time as the impacts.

Oh. There's like actual evidence, biological evidence, that fits with this Younger Dryas impact theory. And there's like two coinciding things that Randall Carlson talks about. But the extinction of like 65% of all megafauna on North America. It all happened around 11,000 years ago. I thought the argument was that that's when humans came and they out-competed them.

That's not the... That's one theory, right? That's the berserker theory. Right. That we killed so efficiently that we killed off all of them. Because you had the thunderbirds, you had the ground sloths, you had the direwolves, I think, that were here. The problem with that theory is there you're dealing with like very primitive weapons When you go back that far if you go back 11,000 years ago, I don't even think you have archery

Okay, I think you have at a ladles which is like a really shitty method of throwing a spear like I have a thing for my dog, it's like a fucking like a it's it's like a, I don't know what you call it. Like, it's a ball thrower, but it's like this little long stick that's curved. And at the end of it's the ball and it gives you extra leverage. Yeah, like a lacrosse thing? Exactly. Like a highlight.

Yeah. Something like that. So you throw it and the ball goes further. They had something like that for a spear. Okay. And they had this thing and they would just like throw the spear better. But you got to like sneak up on animals. Like you got to get real close to them.

It's not easy. It's definitely not easy. And you probably stink because no one's figured out soap yet. And the area is huge. North America and South America are gigantic. Yeah. And you're dealing with like plains animals. You want me to believe they wiped out plains animals without horses?

Like shut the fuck up. You know, we know what people did to the bison during the time where there was photography, right? So we know because we have actual physical evidence of people standing on top of mountains of bison skulls. People are capable of horrendous mass executions of animals, but they were doing that with long-range rifles. Right, right. And systemically. They were trying to do it. Yeah, that's how they were able to do it so quickly.

If you're just talking about people with no horses, because they don't have horses, right? So they're just running around because the horses somehow or another went extinct. And I don't think they're killing more than they need to. They're not really hunting for sport. They're hunting for food. They're hunting for furs. Exactly. They're hunting for bones, whatever. But they do occasionally killing more than they need to. They're not really hunting for sport. They're hunting for food. They're hunting for furs. Exactly. They're hunting for bones, whatever.

But they do occasionally kill more than they need. Sure. But not to the point where I'm going to kill literally every animal around me. They do do. They did cliff drops, though. Okay. The whole herd goes over the cliff and kills everybody. Yep.

Chase the herd off the cliff, and then they would go down around and eat them. But they couldn't eat all of them. It's impossible. So a lot of them started fires. That's not going to explain the predators. No, but you want to hear something great those buffalo bison drops like the Biological waste all starts to rot and the gases and the fumes get so extreme that they cause fires Like they spontaneously burst into flames and like the countryside in some of these areas where they have buffalo drops like the sides of the Cliff are black with soot

because these fucking buffalo bodies burst into flames. Holy crap. Imagine how bad that stunk. Yeah, yeah. I was just playing with the... There's an exotic zoo here in Johnson City. Make sure that's true. Make sure that's true.

I'm pretty sure it is. Buffalo drops. I just have too much useless information in my head like that. I want to make sure it's accurate. There might have been one somebody told me, but I don't think it is. Buffalo drops. I just have too much useless information in my head like that. I want to make sure it's accurate. There might have been one somebody told me, but I don't think it is. I think it's real. There's a place in Johnson City where there's a safari here near Austin, and you could go. The bison was just sticking its head in the car and sticking out its tongue.

It's the most fun thing ever. You can see them in Yellowstone. Yeah. I took my family to Yellowstone. We were too close for my comfort. I didn't feel comfortable at all. They're massive and they can be aggressive. Oh, they fuck people up when you get close to them.

There's a good Instagram page called the Torons of Yellowstone. Okay. You know, morons that are tourists. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Torons. And it's all just people flying through the air. Oh, really? Yeah, it's all just people getting kicked by elk and stabbed.

Yeah, it's fucking horrible. flying through the air. Oh, really? Yeah, it's all just people getting kicked by elk and stabbed. Yeah, it's fucking horrible. People are so stupid. They jump out of their car to say hi to a bear. It's so dumb. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. A bear? Oh, yeah.

Dude, people are fucking dumb. They try to take selfies with bears. I think there's those folks that live in West Virginia that are inbred and then there's a scale There's a scale from that to Elon Musk Somewhere on that scale you think it's okay to take a fucking selfie with a bear I don't know I don't know what that is. I do you think they watch watch too much Disney if you I

Just think they think it's not going to happen to them because it hasn't happened to them yet. I think people have this... That's what I think about super volcanoes and shit too. It's like it hasn't happened yet, so you think it can't happen. Or I've never heard of this happening to anyone, so therefore it doesn't really happen.

Can't happen. I mean, I've read about it, but whatever. Dude, California has a grizzly bear as the flag. It's on the flag. There's no grizzly bears in California. They killed them all. Do you know why they killed them all? Because they killed people.

They killed so many people that they got together and they said, we got to kill all these fucking bears. And they killed all of them. And the last guy that died from a grizzly bear was in Lavec, California. How long ago is this? Because they named it Lavec after him. No. Yeah, I think his name was Steven Lavec. Yeah, he got fucking destroyed by a grizzly bear.

They killed the bear. That was the last bear. And then they fucking named the town after him. But how are you going to keep bears out of California? It's gigantic. They murdered all of them. Yeah, but there's still going to be some in Oregon or Nevada who are going to come back. No, there's no grizzlies in Oregon or Nevada.

Really? Yeah, grizzlies only exist in a few western states. They don't exist in Colorado, but they do think they might, in fact my friend Adam Greentree, he did a long hunt in the mountains, the San Juan mountains of Colorado, and he got video of what he says is a grizzly bear

that was off in the distance. Did you see the grizzly bear I posted on my Instagram today? No, I didn't. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy just so people just i love this video because it it's a camera that's set up and someone put food in front of the camera and a light so that when the grizzly bear walked in you can get video of this thing walking in so it's like a little cautious and a little skittish but you get a sense of what it would look like if that thing was like walking up to you. And any illusions.

Holy crap. Any illusion that you have that you could somehow survive if that thing wanted to kill you should be instantaneously erased when you see this video. Look at the size of that fucking thing. I mean, look at the fucking size of it. Play that again because it's so insane. When you see it walking, the immense power of this thing It's like a truck and this thing could run 40 miles an hour But you're fucked Dude I bet they run faster than 40 miles an hour. No, there's no way I bet they do

Yeah, no 40 or he's crazy would be stunned. You'd be stunned if you saw how fast a grizzly bear runs. Yeah, but 40 is a crazy speed. But don't you think a deer could do that? Brown bear 35. Brown bear 25. Which one? Brown bear 35? Black bear what?

It's a polar bear 25. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay, 35 miles an hour. Close to 40. Okay. It's in the neighborhood. Sure.

It's like fast. It's the fastest human that's ever lived. And they could do it for a long time. There's one running look how fast he's running That's from a car. Yeah. Yeah, dude. I'm telling you they're stunningly fast for a big thing way faster than us Well, so I've saw rhinos and hippos they fucking there. It's insane. We that fucker run. Well, it's all they're all muscle They're just muscle and fat and fur and thick-ass skin. Do they have stamina, though? Oh, yeah, man. They chase moose down.

Yeah, yeah. You're right. They're not ambush predators. They're chase predators. I don't mean to be defensive. I was just saying, like, can they sprint a mile, or can they sprint 100 yards, and then they go? None of the animals can sprint a mile. But they have better endurance than the deer.

They catch them. They just chase after them. They get them in an open area. They just chase after them. They get them in an open area. They just chase after them. There's a great video of this large grizzly bear chasing down this elk, and they're running over deadfall trees and shit, and the bear just finally gets them. They're just scrambling around.

It's almost like you're watching a football play, and then the bear gets them. The bear just chased them down and got them. They get them all the time. Bears are so big and so powerful that they have no fear. There's nothing that can fuck them up. Yeah, but, well, no, they can be kind of skittish. You ever watch that show alone?

That's because of people. Sure, sure. People and guns. So what I'm saying is like Wyoming, Montana, Alaska has a lot. Alaska has a lot. Wyoming, Montana, Alaska has a lot. Alaska has a lot.

Other states with grizzlies or brown bears, I think that might be it. Idaho. Idaho definitely has. Sorry. New York State had brown bears. No. No? No.

No. New York State has black bears that are color phase bears. Okay. They probably had brown bears at one point in time Yeah in in history, and they probably were eradicated for the same reason why they eradicated them from California Like people forget like California's all ranches and shit right you know like when people first came out here the settlers the homesteaders Yeah, of course they killed all the gold rush like fuck this you sure there's no brown bears upstate, New York Yes, I'm sure there's a color phase black bear, and they are brown. Yeah, I know what you're referring to.

And some of them are blonde. They get to like a blonde color. But there's no grizzlies. I didn't say grizzlies. I thought brown bears were. Brown bears are grizzlies. It's the same thing? Yeah, brown bear is the coastal bear.

Like Alaska is a brown bear. The brown bears live on the coast. And then the inland bears are grizzlies. But they're the same bear. It's a brown bear. Okay. Yeah, there's two different species. They have longer claws.

They're a different bear. And they're much more aggressive and much more dangerous than a black bear. But black bears, when they kill people, they're killing people to eat people more often. Brown bears generally don't think of people as food. They don't know what the fuck you are. They're trying to kill moose and deer and eat salmon and stuff like that. Black bear will be like, they've pulled people out of tents and shit, but grizzly bears have done that too. What's a grizzly man? Yeah. Well, that guy was, he was staying in a place where the bears should have already been in hibernation and he was out there. And so the only bears that were still out were starving.

And so he was like almost like suicide by bear. Like he was a bear expert. He should have known that. Like the people that talk about, you know, that area, it's called the, the grizzly,

it's called the grizzly maze, I think. And it's just infested with giant fucking bears. They're huge, man. And when they get older, they don't have enough fat to hibernate so they have to be up and they do a lot of cannibalism.

Like you found like cubs that get eaten. Oh, bears are cannibals. Almost all bears are cannibals. My friend saw these two bears fighting. There was a male bear who came in because there was a female and her cubs and the female tried to chase off the male bear, but the male bear got ahold

of one of her cubs and killed it. She chased off the male bear after the male bear killed her cubs and then she ate her cub. The dead one, right? Yes. She ate her dead cub. Right after she was trying to protect it, the moment it became meat, she ate her cub. Good lord, she was trying to protect it the moment it became meat she ate her cub

Good lord. Okay. That's what we're talking about. Yeah, like this is not a fucking stuffed animal And people like we need more of them. We need to reintroduce them the Colorado Like people want to reintroduce them places like what are you talking about? Yeah, and they're the ones know what that is. Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think this is the problem. People have this Disney idea of nature. They certainly do. Yeah, they certainly do.

So, no, there's no brown bears. I mean, I don't know when the last time there was a brown bear in New York. See if there's- where brown bears are. What states do brown bears live in? I want to say probably Colorado, but that's controversial. Wyoming, definitely. Definitely has a lot of them. Only four states. Okay. Wow. Washington State. I forgot Washington State. Okay. Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming. Less than 2,000 remain. Brown bears are far more numerous than the state of Alaska, where there's an estimated 30,000 bears, about 95% of the entire population in the United States. Holy shit.

Wow. How about those people that live on that island that just get giant bears coming to their island all the time? Which is the island where the guy shot the bear through the door in the head as it was trapped in his house. This bear got into this guy's house. They came downstairs.

They heard all this noise. And the neighbor came over while the bear was in the guy's house and shot it through the head, through the front door. Admiralty Island, wow. Pull that story up because this story is fucking wild.

And there's also Kodiak Island for the Kodiak bears. Yeah, the Kodiak bears, which are the biggest bears. But all those bears on that side, the coastal bears they call brown bears. That's like Alaska bears. And they're way bigger. Way bigger.

Because they have so much salmon. Yeah. Because they're eating so much fish and they eat like dead whales and shit. They're fucking enormous. Which grizzly bear? Oh, it's a hoax. Is it a hoax? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

This is a new story. This is a new story. It happened I think it was on a Fognac. Man kills Kodiak. Oh, it's a Kodiak. Even bigger. So click on that. So this is the house. So this bear was trying to get into his fucking front door.

The bear got in somehow and then couldn't get out. And so it was trapped in like his, uh, the front area of his house. And his neighbor came over and so it was trapped in like his the front area of his house and his neighbor came over and the bear was like trying to get through the door to get out and he shot it through the door and killed it holy crap yeah holy crap dude do you imagine you go downstairs there's a fucking turn your story yeah how big was the bear a 12-gauge slug to the head through a wooden door in the middle of the night during a storm

That guy's never gonna forget that fucking night. I know shit. Holy how big was the bear look how big it is Oh Look at when he's got it on look at how they got it like hanging you see how big it is Oh my god, I'm feet or something. It's gotta be ten feet easy too easy half ton That's a thousand be 10 feet. Easy. Easy. Half ton. That's a thousand pounds. Oh my god. Oh my god. Look at the size of that thing when it's lying there dead. Look at the claws on it. But that's just a real monster. That's a real

monster. It really exists. It's a His wife said baby there's a bear. The bear's nose is at my bedroom doorway, looking right at my wife. Oh, my God. The bear had come through the front door, somehow bumping it closed, walked through the living room, through the kitchen, passed the leftover fried chicken on the counter,

and stopped directly in front of the family's washer and dryer. It was looking at Maribel lying in bed. Why wouldn't it get the food? I don't know. Because it smelled live things. Scroll back up again so I can read what she said. She says, it took me a quarter of a second to decide to pull the trigger, Olsen said. Jesus Christ.

Holy crap. Oh my God. So he shot it and then the bear, so he shot it with a Colt a cult 45 so let me scroll down a little bit there okay uh despite olsen's immediate decisiveness he knew he knew he had to take his shot carefully he had to shoot around the corner of a bedroom where his two youngest children were sleeping as he pulled the trigger to send a 4545 Colt round through the bear's shoulder, his inner voice reminded him, don't hit the kids. When I pulled the trigger, I couldn't see its head. I hoped that the first shot hit him in the shoulder.

Whether from pain or fear, the bear managed to turn its mammoth body around inside the confines of the home's tiny hallway, likely an attempt to get back out the way he came in. Olsen followed the bear through his house. I was pulling the trigger while shouting, get out of my house, along with a lot of logger and fisherman words that I've learned over the years, he said. There was not an ounce of fear in me at that moment. It was all business. It was just rage and the maddest I have ever been. I could not believe this thing was in my house. I was furious.

Holy shit. How could there be no fear when you have this thing in your house? Olsen put three of the four rounds he fired into the bear. A.45 Colt is not designed to bring down a 988-pound bear instantly. It's not big enough, he said. You need a bigger gun. Scared and injured, the enormous bear made a valiant effort to escape Olsen's house. It staggered into the home's attic entry, Arctic entry, rather, a kind of 8-by-8-foot mudroom lined with shelves that the family uses as a pantry.

It was thrashing around in there, but he couldn't get out. Somehow the door ended up closed. He would have left if he could have, but that stupid door shut behind him. Because a wounded Kodiak bear could be far more dangerous than an uninjured bear, Olsen saved the last round in his revolver just in case the bear tried to leave the pantry. I could hear him breathing. The girls could hear him in their room too, Olsen said. I kept yelling at the girls to stay in their room. I did not want them coming out of that doorway. He was thrashing around trying to get out every once in a while

and it had evacuated its bowels on the carpet, Olsen said. He was scared. So he calls for backup. He calls his friend. Wow. This is a whole process. His friend comes over. Yeah. So one of my buddies got a call. He was going up there to Olsen's house.

Hellman said, his wife called my wife because she didn't want him going alone. So she woke me up. Helman grabbed his Remington 870 tactical shotgun and a handful of Winchester XP one ounce copper Sabbath slugs. That's a big round. And headed up the road into his neighbor's house. headed up the road into his to his neighbor's house helman said he had rolled relied on the slugs for hunting and they leave the muzzle with an intense 2489 foot pounds of energy when i showed up the bear was sitting right behind the front door there's a glass window in the door helman said you could just see it sitting there with its head moving up and down like it's either licking

its wounds or eating something i I'm not sure which. This is probably licking the part where it got shot, right? Yeah, the shit, yeah. So he said, I was about 10 feet from the door. I timed the shot for when its head was below the glass. I wanted to shoot through the wood part of the door, not the glass. When I shot, it shook the whole house. The copper slug hit the mark, traveling under the heavy bear's jaw and through its brain.

After I shot, we moved up to the door and shined a flashlight in there. We could see it laying there motionless, but we wanted to give it plenty of time. The last thing I wanted to do was go in the back door and be in the living room with an injured bear. That's why I made a choice to shoot it right through the door instead of going in there with it. Holy fuck, dude. Then they had to get it out of the house, too. Those motherfuckers survived when the rocks hit. When the comets hit, the bears lived.

They lived. Everything else died. Sabretooth tigers died. Horses died. What's the most dangerous thing that we have around here in Austin? There's mountain lions here. Okay.

There's not a lot of them, but they've spotted them. Okay. There must be rattlesnakes, too. Yeah, there's rattlesnakes. There's mountain lions here. Okay. There's not a lot of them, but they've spotted them. Okay. There must be rattlesnakes, too. Yeah, there's rattlesnakes. There's big coyotes. You know, I wouldn't worry about you, but if you have children, I'd worry about them. They kill dogs. They killed a buddy of mine's dog recently. That's everywhere, though. That's the whole country now. Coyotes

are literally in every fucking state. That's, okay. Well, at least we don't have bears. Yeah, we don't have bears. But we do have more tigers in private collections in captivity than all of the wild of the world. Yeah, I think, doesn't Texas have no restrictions on... Yeah. There's a pet store here where they have a sloth.

And they have... And it was funny because Blair comes over and she's like, oh, I think I saw this monkey-like thing at this pet store. I think it's a sloth. And I'm like, shut the fuck up. You cannot have a sloth at a pet store. She's like, I think it's a sloth.

I'm like, all right. And I'm showing her pictures. She's like, I think that's it. And I made her call them. And she's like, sir, what was that thing in the window? They're like, do you mean the sloth? You go there. There's a sloth.

And its best friend is an iguana. Her best friend, excuse me. And the sloth likes l its best friend is an iguana. Her best friend, excuse me. And the sloth likes licking the salt from the iguana's nostril. But it's in this amazing pet store. They have a sloth. And she's been there for 15 years or something. A kangaroo problem in Texas. No.

Yeah. Is that a euphemism? No, there's a real kangaroo problem. Dudes have kangaroos as pets, and they get out. And they're breeding? I don't know if they're breeding yet, but people have spotted kangaroos. And and one guy's kangaroo got out and he had a lure it back to the house with milk Because like kangaroos don't have to listen you right yeah, they get pretty big yeah, yeah, and they get aggressive well I don't I don't know what the fuck's going on. What's up all the kangaroos loose in Texas?

What's up? To rules this is the last week yeah To ruse recently went walkabout calling attention to the fact that in Texas it's legal to keep them as pets. But that doesn't mean you should. No, it doesn't mean you should. But it's also legal. You know, it's like that's why we got to keep guys like Beto O'Rourke from being the governor of Texas. Because he would stop.

He would stop the kangaroos. That's one of the first things he would do. People would complain. Do you know where that won't be? Kangaroos are racist. Do you know where that won't be a problem's a racist? Do you know where that won't be a problem? Where the Republic of Texas? Interesting every part of you become president. It was part of our Constitution

How long does here's a I'm gonna throw this out there. Yeah, what's a good amount of time someone should be president zero So, how do we run things with no president? Well, here's the problem with term limits. Well, it's simple. Everyone does what they're supposed to. The problem with term limits is when you start out, you're doing the toughest job in the world and you're a newbie. Well, also that you're incentivized to get all, you don't have a long time span. So you don't really have a concern about what happens in year nine because you have no possibility of being reelected. So you don't really have a concern about what happens in year nine because you have no possibility of being reelected. So the incentive, and if you look at New York, term limits got us de Blasio, right?

Because Bloomberg was there for two years. He cheated. He made it a third term. He got his third term, got elected. De Blasio comes in and it's just like- It fucks everything up. I mean, when's the last time you were in New York? Pretty recently. Pretty recently, yeah.

It's so awful. I could talk about this all the time. It's just so heartbreaking to see. I was in New York during the pandemic and we heard gunshots while we were getting falafels. Are you serious? Yeah.

Yeah, we were at a falafel stand and we were like, bang, bang, bang. Like, oh, gunshots. Two in the morning in New York City. And you saw Lori Lightfoot when she lost her nomination. She said, you know, I've made Chicago a better and safer city.

Like, these people are shameless. I think they're crazy. I think that's why they're running in the first place. I mean, she used to dress up. Remember, she dressed up like a superhero. That's right. Yeah. To fight COVID.

She's a crazy person. Yes. You could see it in her eyes. Yeah. But, you know, they like the idea of having her. You know, I think it's more the idea than the actual person i think you know we're in this time where you look at uh the the performance of some of these people that are in these places that always vote blue and you go this is kind of like this is kind of crazy you

guys are sticking to this way of running cities when it always fails. Like, it fails spectacularly almost every time. But there's different ways of voting blue failing. Oh, yeah. Like, it's not always voting blue means crime. No, no, but it seems like that today. It seems like that now, that voting blue means being softer on crime. It means that you recognize

that there's too many people in prison and that the United States has more people in prison than any other country in the world. And that we have a prison industrial complex and that you have corrupt judges and you have incompetent lawyers. You have a lot of factors that lead to people to be prosecuted for crimes that they didn't really commit and they get incarcerated. Or things that shouldn't be crimes to begin with. Yeah, many of them. Well, probably a large percentage of people in this country are in jail for drugs. I don't know what that percentage was, but I do know that it was a scam when Biden was saying,

everybody's in jail for possession of marijuana. You're going to be free. But there's no one in jail for possession of marijuana in a federal prison. Right. It's all state laws. It's all sales. It's all like you in a federal prison. Right. It's all state laws. It's all sales. It's all like you're a drug dealer. It's not like you just have weed.

Yeah, but it's all- He's saying marijuana possession. Like, how much? What if I have 1,000 pounds? What they call that, what? Intent to distribute, right? At a certain point, it doesn't consider- Yes, you're a fucking drug dealer.

Or it could be you're just a big drug user. Well, at a certain point, you can't argue that. Like, if you go over some dude's houses like like in California where it's legal right go to Like be real from Cypress Hills house. Okay, kind of fucking compound with What I mean he's probably got every kind of weed known to man, but it is Jim Baker situation right that He's waiting for the rapture, so he's got tables made out of you know, yeah Bush, but I mean if you go to most people's house you find a couple of joints

But it doesn't mean that he's selling it just means he likes wheat more. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, like if you go to some my friend is a wine Collector you go to his house is like enormous wine room, and it's all like temperature control and shit He's not a wine dealer if wine was illegal you wouldn't say that this guy's a fucking criminal He's about to sell wine to everybody no he likes wine when I did grand jury This was some of the things they're trying to put people away for and these are like teenagers And they want to get them like he's got a pound two pounds I remember what it was of weed let's put away, and it's not that hard to convince people to let them walk. It's like, listen, do you want to ruin this kid's life

because he has a lot of weed? And people are like, yeah, you're right. It's stupid. Weed should be 100% legal. And the DAs come back and they're confused because we refused to indict them, even though they had them dead to rights. So that's something people can do to keep people in jail. So that's great. The violent crime thing, though, is not great. And when people commit violent crimes, oftentimes they're mentally ill. And if you just let those people right back on the street and they just got away with committing a violent crime, the chances of them committing a violent crime again are probably pretty fucking high.

Especially people that have a long history of violent crimes. But they don't need to be mentally ill. If it's legal for me to steal from CVS or Duane Reade, I could just go in with my shopping bag, fill it up. They're not going to stop me. I'm not going to get arrested. If I get arrested, I'm still up ahead. So why not do it?

Why not do it? And then, you know, what is it? Was it, which one was it? Walgreens that pulled out of Portland or Walmart? Did Walmart pull out of Portland? Because of the theft? They're like, we can't do this anymore. Yeah, you guys are crazy.

You're just letting people steal things. It's nuts. You steal up to $900 worth of stuff and no one's supposed to stop you. So people just walk into stores and steal things. Yeah, but this was the thing in the late 60s, early 70s, and this was a big problem for the Democratic Party because they were big on so-called civil liberties, civil rights, things like that

in this context of rights of the accused and it was Clinton and Al Gore in 92 who campaigned as we're new Democrats the line was we don't think the way the old Democrats do we're for the death penalty and that was them kind of turning their back on this what was perceived as or perhaps was soft on crime version of the Democratic Party and now that's kind of thing that's Party. And that's kind of fallen by the wayside. Mayor Adams to New York City shoppers, drop that mask.

To prevent robberies, Mayor Eric Adams is telling shopkeepers to bar customers who refuse to lower their masks when they first enter stores. Good Lord. Oh boy. When they first enter stores. It's like you come in the store, I show you my face. Then I put the mask back on and you're not gonna remember what I looked like.

I just can't believe that people are still wearing masks. Yeah. You know, especially after these studies have come out, we have data on it now, folks. It's pretty, they pretty much agree that it doesn't work. Yeah, but it does work because you're signaling, in-group signaling. Yeah, you're in-group signaling. Yes. It works for that. And it works for people that are paranoid. There's a guy-

And maybe like N95 masks might offer you like some fucking like very slight level of protection. I don't know. Maybe it's better than not having one. But Jesus Christ, there's a requirement. It's ridiculous. There's a dude who goes to my gym who's like 5'2", and he's squatting like 500 pounds. And he's in a mask every single time for months. And I'm so curious what he's thinking and what's going on. Because obviously he knows about his health and taking care of his

health. Maybe he has bad teeth. Doesn't want you to see his teeth. Habsburg jaw. I think there's, I mean, there was a study recently that like unattractive people are far more likely to keep their masks on I think people don't like people looking at their face if they don't feel good about their face

and you know you're a good looking guy you're lucky I don't know about that but yeah you're definitely not ugly I don't know about that either you're not ugly

thank you but some people unfortunately didn't get born with the best face and they don't like it. Maybe they don't like what they look like. Maybe they don't like the fact that they gained weight and they got a double chin.

Slap a mask on, and then you feel anonymous. You feel like you can skate by. The guy's jacked as hell. Right, but some people just— I guess they only see the ugliness. They don't see the results. Maybe some people just want you to look at their body only, and maybe that's what he's doing, but he's getting jacked as hell. I think I'm going to have to go up to him at the gym like a complete lunatic. Be like, hey, I was talking about you at your road game. What's's what he's doing, but he's getting jacked. I think I'm going to have to go up to him at the gym

like a complete lunatic. Be like, hey, I was talking about you at your road game. What's up with the mask? Yeah, bring it up. Why not? It's just interesting.

Maybe he has a disease. Then I'm sitting there thinking, should I be wearing the mask? Because then maybe I'd be squatting more because he's clearly better at the gym than I am. I don't think that's how it works.

Well, I don't know. I'll take whatever help I can get. Follow the science. Yeah, I'm like, was this your cycle? You wear the mask for 16 weeks, then you go on a cruise. Yeah, it's oxygen deprivation

somehow or another that makes you inflate. What are you most excited? Oh, let me talk about this book. I'm here to talk about the book. Yeah, you have a book. I've been working on this for two years.

The white pill. The white pill. Like a mouse. So what do you think, what is white pill for you? It's optimism? No. No. The white pill. The white pill. Like a mouse. So what do you think, what is white pill for you? It's optimism? No. No. The white pill is hope.

Hope. Okay. What's the difference between hope and optimism? Because optimism means I think everything's going to work out. And hope is, I'm not convinced that that's the case, but I'm certainly, like if someone has a deadly disease, you may not be optimistic that like, you know what, you're going to be here five years, but you certainly have to live as if you are and have that hope that you're going to pull through. That's true. So that's kind of a big key difference because optimism, I think, is often foolish.

Like if people, one of the reasons people get blackpilled or kind of give up hope because they keep thinking, oh, when Trump gets in or when Biden gets in or DeSantis or someone gets in, everything's going to work out. It's like it's not how it works. If you keep putting your eggs in the basket that this guy in a white horse is going to come and save you, it's not going to happen. Yeah. They can maybe make improvements. But, you know, no one person and this is the other side. No one person can destroy this country either. I mean, these Republicans who think Biden is just one election away from destroying America, I'm like, get the fuck out of this

country then, if you think one president can destroy this country. Yeah, well, it's kind of amazing that the country runs as smoothly as it does with Biden in charge. I mean, it kind of shows you how the checks and balances and all the different branches of government are actually pretty effective in some way. I mean, it's like, it's not a fucking perfect system by any stretch of the imagination, but the way it operates right now, it can operate with that guy as president. Or, I mean, I'm sure he's got a crack team behind him. Oh, for sure.

Yeah. Like the guy who steals luggage? Oh, isn't that funny? Are they still in the lab? Or did they catch him? Oh, they got him. Yeah. He got arrested. Okay. Yeah, because now they know that he's stolen, like, multiple bags, right? Didn't they arrest him? I feel like they arrested him.

I know he had warrants. Yeah, I think he's fucked. Okay. Yeah, because there was a woman who was a designer. Right, I saw that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He stole her, allegedly stole her clothes and was, like, wearing her very specific clothes. Right, because it was something she wore to some award show or something.

Yeah, she's a designer, so she has, like, cool clothes. So he's got a good eye. Well, I don't think he knows. I think he's just getting lucky and stealing people's luggage. Is it kind of like if you play Russian Roulette enough times,

you're going to hit the bullet? Yeah, I think he just looks around at a bag. It looks like a girl's bag and grabs it. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Oops, I thought it was mine.

That's why I took it out and put all the clothes on. That happened to me once. I was with a friend at a bar in Manhattan and some girl just like took her bag and was trying to play like, oops, I got confused.

I'm like, you're lying. And then she got offended. Well, I didn't believe her bullshit. I'm like, non-binary ex-nuclear race. Investigate the FBI. Wow. Okay. Investigated by the FBI

for stealing fashion designers luggage at Washington airport. But was he arrested? He got investigated for that, but I thought he was charged with something because he got caught with more than one time. This is a different, this would be a third time.

Holy crap. Imagine if that's all his clothes. It's like he doesn't want to go because he has a beard and a mustache. I don't want to go buy women's clothes. People get mad at you. Well, you have Amazon. They don't get mad at you. They'd be like, come on in. Oh my God. Maybe. Those white liberal women working those stores, they'd be tripping over themselves to have

them as, am I wrong? Have them as a customer? Some of them would. Isn't that wild? Of course. Isn't that wild? What happened? They hate dad.

Is that what it is? Yes. This is their way to show dad how much they hate him. The patriarchy. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God, you're amazing. You have lipstick on.

Oh my God. Meanwhile, that's the patriarchy. Men assuming. Men taking over women's spaces. Yeah. And being the more dominant woman. This is three weeks ago, though. Okay.

It's on a timeline order. The FBI thing was reported a couple days ago. Okay. So they see. Oh, he's got layers of drama. He's got some great lips. Let's scroll down. He looks like a Dick Tracy villain. If convicted on the charge, Brenton, who previously served as Deputy Assistant Secretary

for Spent Fuel and Waste Disposition at the Department of Energy's Office of Nuclear Energy, could face up to five years in prison, a $10,000 fine or both. Wait, I didn't realize he stole this while he was working for the government. I thought this was past shit. No, no, no, no, no.

He's like constantly been doing oh my god They caught him. I think this is the third time they know for sure he did it But he could have probably done it before and people just yeah, you know bags Why not missing all the time man, but they caught him on film stealing someone else's bag So there's more than one instance of him. Definitely doing holy crap. It was his move. Yeah Yeah, probably got a cheap thrill out of it You know do you remember when you know like sometimes like you'll find like a famous actress gets like shop living. Yeah Yeah, she got busted like what was that? It's probably fucking fun wild. Well. It's not like she couldn't afford it

Yeah, so maybe she was high so who knows I'll throw yeah, I dated a girl in high school We got caught shoplifting been caught stealing? Yeah, she would do clothes. She would go to a store and clothes she couldn't afford, she'd put them on or put them on underneath her clothes, and she got caught and busted. It was like a big deal. Dude, I'm going to confess something that I've never admitted to before. Okay.

I'm here on this minor show that no one listens to or watches, so I'll be perfectly safe. here on this minor show that no one listens to or watches, so I'll be perfectly safe. When I was in high school, my friend Arthur and I went to the New York Aquarium, and they have an estuary exhibit. And in this estuary exhibit was a species of fish, which I found very unusual, which I really liked, called a spiny boxfish, which is not a boxfish. It's a relative of the porcupine fish. And we got a cup and it was a low tank, no cover. And we got it.

We stole the fish from the New York Aquarium. How did you get it out? You just get a cup. The thing was an inch long. It was a baby. And we just got it with the cup and- Whatever happened to it? I put it in my tank and it thrived for quite some time how long i don't it must have been maybe months wow yeah so i stole a fish from

the aquarium and i don't regret it for a second and they're very hard to take care of in captivity that species congratulations thank you it's a good theft yeah it's like overall did the fish have a worse life you definitely stole property I did steal property probably property, but isn't it weird that life is property. I Remember what he did he put it no no no He put it like on his head under his hat for a second until we got out of the room like like flopping around Yes, oh Christ if I'm remembering correctly Oh my god, then we had then I also had a cup of water from saltwater because it was saltwater fish.

Oh, my God. But we got it home. Wow. How long was the drive home? It was a walk. It was like a block. Oh, okay. Good, because how much oxygen is in that saltwater?

That cup. You're fine. They could be in there for a day easily. Really? Because there's no surface. So if you just stir it, it's oxygenated. Oh, you just got to stir it every now and then? Yeah, they're perfectly fine, yeah.

Isn't that wild that that's where they get it? What do you mean? The oxygen in the water. You could just stir it and they get oxygen in there. Well, I mean, it's mixing at the surface. I know, but isn't that crazy that that's how they breathe? You have to do that to them. Imagine if we found civilization underwater that existed breathing water the same way a fish does.

Like, why are fish all dumb? They're not dumb at all. What are you talking about? They're dumb as fuck. I'm not offended. They're dumb as fuck. Listen, the only thing that's smart— No, you listen.

Orcas are smart. Orcas aren't fish. Right, because they're not fish. They're mammals. Same as I was going to say. Anything that breathes air is smart. Everything that breathes underwater, fucking idiots. That's not—

Just running around eating each other and shit. That's not true at all. The only thing that's smart is octopuses okay my the guy who runs octo nation warren he lives in austin too i become pals with him so shout out to warren um there are cuttlefish are smart too they just learned how to do the marshmallow test oysters are dumb as fuck oysters don't have brains right that's what i'm saying there's these aren't fish they're not there are lots there are there are lots of fish species that are very intelligent. Like which ones?

Porcupine fish, triggerfish. The archerfish is an example of a smart fish species that can use tools to make life easier. They're not smart. Especially when it comes to feeding. Archerfish squirt jets of water out to insects on plants, and they can recognize the size of the prey and adjust the size of their squirts accordingly. But that's not an intelligence thing. Like they live in brackish thing. Like, they live

in brackish water. Yeah, there's like three or four species of them. They have some in Dallas, the clouded archer, which are really kind of rare in captivity. And they train them

to eat, to shoot food that's on a glass little stick. Adaptation is so strange. But it's not the same thing as intelligence. Intelligence is like problem solving. If you look at, like,

triggerfish sculptures, the sculptures that they make and they rearrange their when you're having something that manipulates its environment that's a sign of intelligence trigger fish manipulate their environment

and make sculptures oh yeah look up trigger fish first of all just for everybody I was joking around about them being stupid okay okay

they're pretty dumb though I mean they don't even have cell phones they live in the ocean I tend to think people have cell phones tend to be dumb they didn't invent it, though.

They don't invent shit. The reason I'm sensitive about this issue is the very first paycheck I ever got was writing for an aquarium magazine when I was in high school. Tropical Fish Hobbyist magazine. So I've been on this train for a very long time. The adaptation of animals on this planet is so bizarre sometimes that it Confuses me like something is off in the laws of reality Like have you ever seen a viper caterpillar? It's like a caterpillar that disguises itself as a but looks like a viper like exactly yeah eyeballs and everything and a diamond shaped head

Well, what about is what scares off other creatures like that head represents venomous right Tori but what about ant spiders I don't know what an ant spider is a spider that looks like an ant and spiders have eight legs ants have six so the spiders two front legs are always up in the air as if they're antennae and they smell like the ants and there's another species of ants by the around the ants and eat them I don't know if they eat the ants but they certainly are another species of ant spider. And they just hang around the ants and eat them? I don't know if they eat the ants, but they certainly are protected, because think about it. If you're surrounded by ants, no one's attacking you. And then there's a species

of ant spider where the mandibles are stretched out, so it looks like it's carrying a dead ant. Whoa. But that's not a sign of intelligence. No, just adaptation. But that adaptation is insane. See? Whoa. These are cuttlefish structures? Triggerfish. Triggerfish didn't give me anything.

I had to type in which fish makes sculptures. Okay. And it said it was a pufferfish. Oh, puffers. Okay. Oh, pufferfish. Same order. Look how beautiful that is.

Yeah. That's amazing because it's geometrical. And if you have them in your tank at home, they'll rearrange the furniture to make it more to their liking. Whoa. Yeah. That's wild. I wonder why they do that.

To mate. Courtship. Yeah. To show bitches how your house looks. Yeah. Look. Look at this. I wonder why they do that. To mate. Courtship. Yeah. To show bitches how your house looks. Yeah, look. Look at this. Check out my house, yo. It's amazing.

I'm a puffer fish. What about like, what, bowerbirds, right? When they make these big, huge structures and anything blue they put in there because apparently the females like blue. Really? Yeah. Wow. But fish are much smarter than people realize

because think about if you're in fresh water you're gonna have a short lifespan especially if it's seasonal but in the ocean some of these things live for 20 years so if you have that longer lifespan it's going to tend to have much more kind of problem solving and more investment in sustaining that organism as opposed to like having oh i'm just going to get eaten a year who cares just going to cycle through the life cycle quickly. It is fascinating that that world exists right next to our world and supposedly life in the ocean. I mean, all life came at one point in time from water, right?

That's the thought process. So they evolved on their path. We evolved on our path. we evolved on our path, but on the ground you manipulate things more. The ground intelligent creatures manipulate things more. So we have this idea in our head that we're smarter than like dolphins and orcas. They actually have larger brains than ours.

Like dolphins are bizarrely intelligent. Like we don't even know how intelligent they are, but they just don't need to exhibit any sort of control over their environment the way we do. Well, they also it's harder for them because they don't have, you know, hands. Yeah, obviously. They didn't evolve that. You know, they didn't they didn't they didn't need to manipulate their physical environment because they can move through 3D space as a dolphin and they can just eat fish and follow them around and stay in the warm waters and they're good like there's there was no need to get to the place where we are where we're just a subject to so many different animals and so many different like invading tribes and all the crazy shit that their environment's a lot more stable than ours

yeah that's a that's a tusk fish it's a type of wrasse breaks clams well then you think about like white sand beaches and all those white sand beaches are made by fish part of a parrotfish right yeah yeah i mean what how many fucking parrotfish and how long like what what are you talking about it's many many was hundreds of thousands of years no crazy it's there's this and when they shit you could see a cloud of sand come out their ass and we are just running nets through this place just scooping up everything we can and serving a sushi no that's, that's not true. You don't, this is like. No, I'm not saying like right here at this, not doing it as protected reefs, but in the ocean,

like the overfishing in the ocean is out of fucking control. They're not going to be there because they eat coral. So they're going to. No, these ones. Yeah, of course, these animals. Like that's a protected reef, but I'm saying the ocean in general. The ocean in general, like we talked, you ever seen those documentaries?

There's been quite a few that they do, the Japanese fish markets where these guys bring in these big tunas and you know They're checking them people don't realize how big these tunas are they're massive They're like the size of an SUV, but these guys all talk about how much less tuna there is now Okay, it's much harder to get to that than it used to be and it's not that easy to farm them either They're fucking big man. They're big You know, they had a storm that hit Hawaii

and they had a bunch of yellowtail that they were farming. So they had like this whole area sort of like netted in. It's like, no,

yellowtail's like a tuna. It's like in the tuna family, I believe. And it was, you know, it's like a really aggressive fighting fish. It's delicious too. You know, people love them for sushi. fighting fish. It's delicious, too.

You know, people love them for sushi. I think they were actually breeding them for sushi. So a storm hit anyway, and their enclosure fucked up, got fucked up by the storm, and they all got out. And so people were catching them. I caught a couple of them. How big were they? They were pretty big, you know, like 10 pounds, 15 pounds. Okay, that's the size of a fish.

It was like that big big big fucker like great fighters and delicious we ate them bring them back to we're staying at the four seasons in maui bring them back and the chef cooks it for you it was amazing but um like that's a that's part of the peril of those sort of uh farming operations that you have to kind of do them in the ocean so you have to like segment off a spot in the ocean and net it up and not let anything get in there. But storm fucked that up. Yeah, because they can't keep them in tanks or they have the tanks big enough.

The water quality is not going to be the same as it is in the ocean with the micronutrients and things like that. Yeah. I guess they... I don't know what they feed them. I don't know how they do it. They probably dump stuff out of boats or something. Yeah.

Just try to fatten them up for sushi markets. Have you ever seen this thing, a tuna boil? I've seen that with, I think they're called Jack Cravales in Mexico. I was fishing in Mexico. And you would just cast a line into that chaos, and immediately you would catch a fish. Like, immediately. That's what they thought that shark thing was we pulled up last week. And I got up close to it, and it turns out it wasn't just tuna it was a bunch of fucking

sharks eating them oh jesus christ so the tunas are going crazy and the sharks are going crazy at the same time don't the tuna circle schools of smaller fish and make them into balls and then the sharks circle the tuna or whoever whatever it is the size of the boil. Look at how many sharks there are. Hundreds. Chaos. Chaos. Imagine if you just said, I hate life, and just fucking swan dived into that. Good Lord.

Imagine the end, how long it would take for them to just rip you shreds. I don't think it would be that easy. What are you talking about? Jump in and find out. You're made out of Play-Doh. I wish I could go one episode of this show without Jamie telling me to kill myself. They'd bite through you like a Twinkie. Why would you think that it would be hard for them?

I'm not saying it would be hard. I'm saying it's not at all intuitive to me that immediately they'd be going after me because they're not going after each other, right? So they're going after things that are small. I bet they're biting each other too. You think so? Yeah.

I bet they're accidentally biting each other. Sure, right. So the first one, accidentally, then I'm bleeding, then I other too. You think so? Yeah. I bet they're accidentally biting each other. Sure. Right. So the first one, accidentally, then I'm bleeding, then I'm fucked. You're fucked. Because then they're swallowing me. I think you're fucked right away. I think you're fucked right away.

I don't... This is possibly up to hundreds of the sharks were in there. Wow. At least dozens, if not hundreds. I think every person that jumped into that would be fucked immediately. I think if you hated a guy and you wanted to get rid of him. I don't think I'm getting out. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying I don't think it would be like

piranhas where it's instant. Piranhas aren't instant. If you're bleeding? No, they cut things and they bite things. This idea that they get a burn right through you. I used to keep piranhas. Hold on. A piranha in a tank is not the same as a piranha in the Amazon. I've seen the piranhas in the Amazon. I'm not defending piranhas.

I'm not defending the piranhas. I'm not saying they're safe or anything. But the way a shark does it, like sharks take enormous chunks out of your body. Piranhas like go through you eventually. Yeah, but the- They're pretty impressive, the way they swarm. That's the thing, the swarming. Sharks are doing that too, man.

They don't swarm in the same way. That's what it looked like over there. Yeah, but that's because they were- I don't think it's the thing, the swarming. Sharks are doing that too, man. They don't swarm in the same way. That's what it looked like over there. Yeah, but that's because they were, I don't think it's the same thing. If you threw like a dead dolphin on top of that, you don't think they would tear apart that the same way? Yes, they would tear it apart. These fish are tearing apart this dead fish? It would be the same thing. This is the strangest argument I've ever been in, and I don't disagree with you.

I agree with you completely that if you threw in a dead dolphin there or in the Amazon, that they'd be dismembered in seconds. I don't think we're in a disagreement. I think we got caught up in a little bit of a dick-waving contest there. Okay, I want to hear what you're most excited about with the club.

I'm just excited to have it and to make a place in Austin where comics can work out all the time. I just want it where people can develop. We're gonna have a nice open mic program. We brought in Adam Egott who is the talent coordinator for the Comedy Store and we brought it in with us. We brought him in and we brought this great staff in with a specific idea to make it a place where comics can start out develop become professional there's a clear path instead of comedy has always been like very difficult for people to go from being an open mic or to being a professional to making it if you go to an open mic night open mic nights are littered with people who are talented that for

whatever reason they didn't get enough breaks where it encouraged them to keep going. And they, you know, had other opportunities in life, which most smart people do. And they did something else. And then maybe they came back to it later. And then they realized how far behind they were for the other people that were already. Now they're working professionals now. And they start thinking, fuck, I could be out there like Big Jay Oakerson. I could be out there like Ari Shaffir.

And they never really make it. And there's a lot of funny people that never really make it. It's real weird. And I think every other art form has a very clear path. If you are a concert pianist, you can learn how to play piano. You can take lessons. You can get better at it. You can learn how to play guitar.

Someone will teach you how to make the chords and make the notes and all the stuff I don't know how to play guitar. I'm just talking yeah Yeah But the the thing about comedy is you have to figure it out on your own and everybody figures it out differently because so many Different fucking styles there's Jay London style. There's Louis CK style. There's so many styles there's Chris Rock style everybody has a different way of being funny. And you need a place where you know that they are hoping that you get better and they want you to get better. Not just like a dog-eat-dog world like the store used to be or like a lot of these other places are, but a place that encourages people to be better and to get better at comedy.

that encourages people to be better and to get better at comedy and gives you a place where you can try it out and you can get to see like one of the things about the story that was so great is, you know, Chris Rock would come into town and he would go and do a set and we'd all sit in the back and watch. Like you get a chance to watch the best comics in the world all the time. And I think we could do that here. And I think it's a service to comedy. I think it'd be great for all of us. Selfishly, it'd be great for me. And so that's's a service to comedy. I think it'd be great for all of us. Selfishly, it'd be great for me. And so that's why I decided to do it. I think Austin is a lot better of a place to have this kind of camaraderie and less cynicism than New York and LA. I think those cities, especially LA, from my understanding, are far more competitive in a negative sense, where you think if someone's succeeding, it's because it's at your expense. Whereas everything

I've seen here, everyone who's making it happen are so into helping each other out and and having each other's back and being like fans of one another that was an environment that we fostered at the comedy store and i think that environment a lot of it came out of the recognition that in the world of podcasting we're we're no longer competitors to each other we're actually assets to each other and being friends with people like you or being friends with Lex or being friends with any comics, like, you want other people to know about them. Yeah. Like, you want everybody benefits from, like, people generally know that if I have someone on, especially like you who's been on more than once, like, I like them and they're fun. We have cool conversations.

So they go and gravitate towards you it helps them trust me and my taste for guests and it helps you and it elevates everybody it used to not be that way it used to be everybody was competing to be seinfeld you know there's only one seinfeld he's the star of the show there's only one time slot it's like you know fucking thursday night at uh 8 p.m that's when it is you got to be on no one gets that spot other than Seinfeld you gotta wait until he retires and so then there's the friend spot and there's the Caroline in the city spot there was there's a very small number of things and if you got that it was life-changing and people around people got those things and their life changed and they're driving

a Mercedes and you're the same fucking guy in a Hyundai and you do better than him like You go up on Wednesday night at 10 p.m., and maybe he struggles following you, but it doesn't matter because he got a fucking sitcom. And the sitcom was like the holy grail. That was the thing that everybody wanted. So everybody got hyper-competitive and looked at each other as being an impediment. Like you're going to be in competition with me for my dream right yeah I don't have it because you took it from yeah well that's how people thought I could have been that guy there was a lot of those guys that were like

hanging around the Comedy Store when I first got there in 94 that missed the kinnison wave there's there's waves that come like great comics come through and along with them a lot of other great comics come and it's like a big the kinnison Bill Hicks and there's so many guys that came along during that time. And Dice Clay, and some guys just missed that wave. They just didn't put it together for whatever reason. And there was a lot of those guys that were hanging around the store when I got there. And I was like, oh, that's not good.

You know, it's like comics rely on community. It's a very important part of what we do. You have fun with each other. You support each other. You laugh with each other. It's fun. Stan Hope once famously said, he goes, I could give up comedy, but I couldn't give up comedians. Yeah, when I'm hanging out with you guys backstage at Vulcan, everyone is so friendly.

And they're busting each other's balls, of course. But it's really welcoming, which is not like it's how New York was at some times in some places, but there's a lot of in New York, this kind of like, who, who is this guy? What can he do for me? You know, what's his follower count? What's this? What's that? And I don't feel that here at all. We had managed to avoid a lot of that in LA at the store at one point in time. It wasn't all of us though, because the store is, you know, the store has all kinds of different personalities and some personalities don't feel like they're getting their just due. And some personalities are bitter and some personalities are angry that someone is successful or famous, that people like

them. It's just wasted energy. But there's always going to be those people when you have those hyper competitive environments that aren't supportive. You it's just it's a thing that you learn coming up you know if you learn that you see how like have you ever seen a guy who steals and he brings opening acts and the opening act starts stealing there used to be a real thing what really yeah guys who steal they would have opening acts and those opening acts would be stealing too because they learn from the guy who is the big guy oh god yeah so there was a few of those guys that would go on the road and steal and a lot of their opening acts would wind up be joke buccaneers too and it'd be a real problem and we realized we'd say oh he worked with him and be like oh okay and then he thinks it's okay because it's like you

follow your mentors this is just what they do right this is what people do you know no one makes up jokes i heard it somewhere. Yeah. Everyone thinks the same things. There's only seven jokes. Well, it's also the kind of thing where the guy tells Simpsons quotes at a party, so he's funny. So he's like, why can't I just do this on stage? He's not going to think anything's weird that I'm doing Simpsons jokes on stage or whatever jokes.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's a weird thing, man. Creativity depends upon so many different factors. And we're definitely influenced by each other. But I think it's in a positive way. I think when it crosses over into negativity, that's when it becomes a problem. When people get competitive in terms of like they're taking people's premises or taking people's ideas and twisting them around. Like, hey, you're doing something squirrely. And there's like different levels of that. like they're taking people's premises or taking people's ideas and twisting them around like hey

like you're doing something squirrely you're doing and there's like different levels of that like some people do it and it's just out and out thievery and some people do it and it's just like they both have the same thought parallel thinking is a real common situation especially with like normal social issues and a lot of times the punch line is going to be something that two people came up with at the same time because it's kind of obvious. Absolutely. It happens all the time.

But there's a difference between that and the whole set. Fever-y. Because you know, like you see guys working out. You see them trying new stuff. You see the bits develop.

Like I work with Hinchcliffe all the time and he's always got new shit and he's always got this new idea and he's always reworking it and like we're talking about it and game planning it and try it like this and what about that and he comes up withworking it and like we're talking about it and game planning it and

try it like this and what about that and he comes up with new tag lines we're all hanging around backstage and then he tries them the next day they kill some of the best jokes that Hinchcliffe has ever come up with he came up making me laugh while we're on drives yeah like in between shows so that that hang is so important do you think because I'm gotten getting this sense but I'm obviously not a professional comedian that a lot of this kind kind of so-called woke culture, whatever, that's been supposedly killing comedy, I feel like that's receding and that there is a lot of space, especially here, to tell jokes wherever the hell you want that idea is Kill Tony. Yeah. Because Kill Tony, you get one minute and the comedians are ruthless and hilarious and they're all like Roseanne's on there and, you know, all these killers that come into town. Shane Gillis, all these people go and guest on that show and comics get one minute. And if they do well, everybody supports them and cheers them on, says you're really funny. Good luck.

You know, I'd pay to see you. And they walk out of there fucking lifted like a few good words of advice and and praise from an upcoming uh from a like a legitimate stand-up to an upcoming stand-up are so fucking huge and i think we could provide that here yeah and i've seen it firsthand already i've been to kill tony it's a lot of fun it's it's a lot of fun and i think it's it think it's really important for setting the tone. It's just about funny. This is not about you espousing your social values.

And there's a kind of like a thing, a claptor thing that some of these kids are getting sucked into where you're trying to espouse social values. I've seen people actually say if you're not using your comedy to elevate, you know, elevate social justice then fuck you like no No, no, you're just not good. Like that's you're just not good You're not good at this thing that we all do in love Like when we watch people that are great comics that have a social message whether it's Dave Chappelle or whether it's George Carlin or? Whoever it is. They have that with jokes, right? The the most important part is that it has to be funny. You get a certain amount of juice from going for the social justice angle where people are like,

yes, and they clap. And you can get addicted to that, but that's not what you're there for. You're there to make them laugh. You can't just say something and hope they clap with you. You should figure out a way to make that funny. That's what we do. And you don't have to, by the way, if you want to do claptor and fill audiences with, you know, people that are fucking inside your wheelhouse and they like to do that, they like to hear you say the things that they think, fine, that's great. It's shocking to me how much late night comedy has fallen. And because there's a lot more than when we were young, used to be like Johnny Carson and Letterman after him, right?

How many? There's like 10 of them now. The fact that Hennessy rates isn't a household term that when Hunter Biden was texting his lawyer, like, don't charge me no Hennessy rates. Like, that's such a funny expression. I didn't know that. Yeah. You said Hennessy.

What does that mean by Hennessy rates? Expensive. Don't charge me no Hennessy rates. Oh, Hennessy's expensive liquor. That's funny. So that is such a joke waiting to happen, the fact that this isn't being beaten. You have a dementia patient with a crackhead son. The punchlines, I'm not a comedian, the punchlines write themselves.

But they're so invested in this bizarre partisanship that you can think Biden's a joke and still think Trump's an asshole. A hundred percent. And for you to deny it is not doing your cause any justice. You need to look at what you're seeing and talk about it accurately. And just because you think that somehow or another

like talking badly about Biden is going to make Trump become president. Shut up. Right? Shut the fuck up. That's not your job. Your job is to point out what's funny. What's funny is this guy keeps falling

upstairs. He's clearly deteriorating before our eyes and everybody wants to pretend it's not happening. It's madness. You know that your brain is fucked up when you fall up the stairs. Dude, it's not. Well, first of all, why they got him in those slippery shoes?

Put some fucking rubber-soled shoes on that man. You know, don't give him those goddamn dress shoes with the slippery surfaces. Is that what he's wearing? Those are fucking slidey. Is that what it is? I can fall upstairs with like a pair of cowboy boots on or something. If you don't rough them up on the bottom, those shits are fucking slippery. Have you ever put on like dress shoes with the hard leather soles?

Oh my God, if you do and you try to walk on carpet. It's like ice skating It's totally like ice skating you could slide you just slide on those things like a real leather Sold dress shoe you got a scuff the shit out of those bitches Yeah, I got a pair from David August They're really nice and their dress shoes But I don't fucking wear them like I got I have to go outside and sandpaper the fuck out of them before I can walk around on them. The pair of dress shoes I have are made out of seal leather, which I didn't know was a thing. They're vintage, so I wear them every chance I get, and they are very scuffed on the bottom for sure because they're from the 70s.

But they look absolutely amazing. I have a pair of alligator shoes. Oh, okay. A pair of gators. Like boots? They're like dress shoes. Yeah. Gators. Those are cool. That's sweet. That's for pim shoes. Oh, okay. Like boots? They're like dress shoes. Yeah. Gators.

Those are cool. That's sweet. That's for pimps. Yeah. Sweet. Ostrich, anteater, those are the other ones. Sting ray. Derek Wolf, the football player, was here the other day, and he had his friend Alex

was here, and his friend Alex has these boots on that were made out of fish. What kind of fish? It was fish skin. Some fucking giant fish from the Amazon. Arapaima? I think it's Arapaima. Yeah. I think it's that. See what boots they make out of fish skin. I think it could be, they call it barramundi

is another name for it. Oh yeah, that's it. That sounds, I think so. I think that's it. Because he was wearing these, I go, what the fuck are those? I go, those are dope. They were like this crazy pattern on the front of his boot. I go, what is that? He's like, it's actually fish skin. Yeah, I think it's barramundi. I could be talking out of my ass on this one, but I don't know.

They go hard with cowboy boots around here. Yeah, I haven't got... Oh, yeah. What is it? Oh, picaru. Oh, those are the ones with the huge fangs. Is that what it looked like? That's definitely it, man. If you look up what that fish looks like, if I'm thinking of the right thing,

I think they're the ones with the giant fangs. Look that up. They look crazy. Pira... How do you say it? Pira Ruku. Pira Ruku. Wow. If I'm thinking of the right fish. What does that look like? I don't want to bring it up.

So that might be it. Interesting. Fish. Oh, it is. It's a terrapyma. Look at the size of that fucker. So that might be it. Interesting. Fish. Whoa. Yeah, it's an arapaima. Okay. Yeah. Look at the size of that fucker. So the skin on them is so tough, they turn them into fucking cowboy boots.

Isn't that wild? Then the one I'm thinking is the piara, I think, which have these fangs that go into their forehead. Look at that dinosaur. They're the largest freshwater fish. No, the paddlefish are, but they're up there. Sturgeons are pretty goddamn large too, though. Aren't they the largest? I think it goes...

Paddlefish first? Sturgeon, pro? They say arapaima would be the heaviest. Arapaima is something. Paddlefish is something. You know what's the wildest shit? The what? The wildest shit we have.

What? Alligator gars. Do you know about alligator gars? They come in different colors. Have you seen the platinum ones? I've seen black ones. Yeah, they're gorgeous. Melanistic.

But they are fucking huge. You look at the platinum ones. They're beautiful. Oh, my God. Look at that thing. That's a goddamn dinosaur. Yeah, they're living fossils. Yeah, 100%.

And their skin, like when they cut their skin, you have to cut it with metal shears. Do you really? Yeah. Yeah, their skin is like fucking armor. Like to cut through their scales, you have to cut it with metal shears. Do you really? Yeah. Yeah, their skin is like fucking armor. Like to cut through their scales, you can't just use a knife. You have to be like clamp, clamp, clamp, like you're fucking breaking into a chain link fence.

Like no bullshit. See if you can find alligator guard that they caught. Yeah, look at that one that that dude has that he's holding up. Bro, that's bonkers. Look at the size of that thing. Look at that one down there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The 300-pound one.

Oh, my God. 300 pounds. Just imagine that. And they obviously lived for a very long time. Very long time. And that's the skin. I guess they take that skin and they turn it into leather. Wow.

You know, most, and they also use hagfish leather. They have a lot of those out here. A lot of alligator guards are in Texas. My friends from Canada came down to some place in Texas specifically to hunt alligator gars. Really? Yeah, yeah, they catch them. It must be pretty easy because they're surface. I don't know.

I don't know if it's easy. I've never done it. But I do know that they taste delicious when they smoke them. They smoke alligator gar. Well, smoked any kind of fish is amazing. Yeah, but that stuff's supposed to be really good. H-E-B has smoked tuna now, and it's really good, and it can.

302 pounds, the largest alligator gar ever caught in Texas. See if you can find the photo of that. Man. 1953. Look at that one right there. Jesus Christ. Look at the head on that thing. Can you click on that? See what that video

shows? Oh, this guy's got one. Oh head on that thing. Can you click on that? See what that video shows? Oh, this guy's got one. Landing that thing must be a nightmare. Oh my god, must take hours. Holy crap. Look at that thing. Holy shit, man. He's gonna go through the rope. Crap, he's gonna go through the rope.

Look at the size of that fucker. It looks like an alligator. That is a huge fish. It has no legs. Holy crap. Yeah, right. Yeah. That is a huge fish. It has no legs. Holy crap. Yeah, right. Yeah. He says that's 300 pounds.

And those teeth are like needles. Is that somewhere outside of Texas? Or is that... Where did he catch that? They might be bigger somewhere else. Because that's the biggest one they ever caught in Texas. That thing's fucking huge. Have you ever had Jeremy Wade on the show?

Is that the guy from River Monsters? No Jeremy Wade on the show is that the guy from River Monsters no I have not I love that guy though I love that show oh he's letting it go now isn't that fucked up like the catch and release thing

they're just fucking with that fish's life that's better than killing it well then why do it cause you I mean so if you catch someone and kick their ass

it's better than killing them so just go around catching people and kicking their ass wait wait it is better to kick their ass than kill them it is killing them. So just go around catching people and kicking their ass. Wait, wait. It is better to kick their ass than kill them. It is, definitely.

Yeah. But should you do it? Should you go around catching people and kicking their ass? Well, yeah. Because it's better than killing them. If they got a big mouth, someone's got to take it. Well, I don't think that fish had a big mouth. It had a huge mouth.

It bit down on the bait. Yeah. Yeah, good point. You think that's a bad idea, catch and release? It's not a bad idea, but it troubles me in the sense that I like to catch fish and eat them, and I think that's why I go fishing. When I go fishing, I go fishing to eat something. I don't go fishing to fuck with a fish.

But some of them are inedible. And I think when something's that big, you want to have it the respect let it reproduce. Yeah, sure. I don't know what the population is. Maybe they do it because, like, with largemouth bass, a lot of people don't eat largemouth bass, although you can eat them, and I've eaten them. They taste good.

But they use them as a sport fish. And so especially when you catch big ones, they want you to let them go because, like, a big female has probably got a bunch of eggs in her, and it'll help the population. It takes a long time to get that big. And they're probably in keeping Invasive species from spawned like taking over because they're predatory so they're gonna be keep kind of basically like mowing the lawn so to speak Sort yeah a little bit a little bit, but there's a lot of invasive species and lakes out here the big ones carp And all those the ones that jump in the boat the silver carp those I think those are Asian carp

Yeah, that what it's called the ones of Asian silver carp something happens to them when the boats coming near them they freak out Yeah, they jump into the boat and they start hitting people in the head. Oh, they KO people. Yeah. People get fucking flatlined. Bang. Yeah, yeah. It's like those fainting goats.

They just freak the fuck out and just flop over. Yeah. What's the biggest fish you ever caught? Was it a gar? Biggest fish I ever caught. What's this guy going oh yeah oh the carp yeah this is

this guy's on a boat and these fish just oh yeah oh Jesus so I don't know if you can eat those but that's kind of crazy I don't know if that carp

is edible I'm sure it's edible it's probably like really bony and so what they do with a lot of those is they make fish cakes out of them

but give up give up the fish's carp. I caught a marlin once. It was like 70 pounds. Was that hard to land? Because they're strong as hell. It was strong as hell, yeah. How do you land that thing? It takes a while. It took like 20 minutes or so.

But it was not that big. It's a 70 pound marlin. When they go on those marlin tournaments, guys will catch a thousand pound marlin. Have you ever seen one of those? No. I've seen the plastic ones on the wall. See if you can find the largest marlin ever caught. I think it's more than a thousand pounds.

Aren't they like the fastest fish? So they're going to have power. Oh yeah, they have such power and they're so majestic. There's something about them with their sails and everything. 1,376 pounds was 193 inches long. 40 minutes is not that much time. Well, I mean, how long can it fight for?

That's the thing. It's like, look at the size of it. Oh, my God. Wow. Look at the size of that thing. Did you keep the bill? No, no, I didn't. It was one of those weird deals where there's certain boats that you get on and they have their own rules. And they said, you can catch fish, but we keep the big fish.

I'm like, okay. Okay. It was like, first of all, it didn't bother me because I was staying in a resort. I'm like, what am I going to do with this marlin? Right. You know, I can't eat this thing. Like, how am I going to eat? Yeah.

It's better if you guys keep it. That would be a funny, like, weekend at Bernie's thing where you've got sunglasses on the marlin we were just looking for fish that we could eat that we could bring back to you know a small fish like a Yellowtail or something like that they could bring back to the resort and you'd you'd get the chef to cook it But we just got lucky everyone caught it within like 10 minutes of the fishing trip Did you watch that guy Masaru on YouTube? Who's that the Japanese kid he goes he catches fish and he cooks like literally everything. Sea cucumbers, starfish. Oh, really?

Half the time he's throwing up. Oh, no. And it's all in Japanese. You got to watch subtitles. He's the best. Oh, so he tries everything? He tries everything. And he's like some of the, I mean, the headlines are clickbait.

Like eating sea cucumber leads to disaster. Yeah, he's the best. Eating a diarrhea causing fish. Extremely high in fat. Oh, let's watch that. He's hilarious. Well, no, no. That's fake. It's the best. Eating a diarrhea-causing fish, extremely high in fat. Oh, let's watch that. He's hilarious. Well, no, no. That's fake.

It's clickbait. Oh. So have you ever had escalar or white tuna at the sushi place? Yes. That's what that is. So it causes anal leakage, but he's fine with it. He's fine with anal leakage? No, but I mean, this episode, he's not going to have diarrhea.

Oh, got it. That looks good. He's great. It looks like he's having a good time. Look up what he does to the starfish. When they have the parasites, he just cooks the parasites and eats it. He doesn't throw it out. He's like, all right, I'm just going to fry these worms.

I saw some YouTube. I didn't know if it was clickbait or not, but I saw some YouTube video today that I didn't click on that said, be careful eating sushi, and it showed a guy's mouth that was open, and there was like, or some part of his, it wasn't his mouth, it was like something, like they put a camera down his mouth, and they found some organs in his

intestines. Okay. Or, not organs, rather, some parasites in his intestines, like some tapeworms and shit like that. It was horrible looking. Yeah, but I don't think that's really a concern. I think it's not a concern if you get to the restaurant because they flash freeze it, don't they? I don't know because I think freshwater salmon is where a lot of parasites come from. I think it's not a thing that much with saltwater fish.

I think it's less prevalent. But I think you could buy fresh salmon that hasn't been frozen okay and you could eat it like sushi or sashimi and you could get fucked okay i think that's pretty sure like what do they do to to keep people from getting parasites my understanding is they catch on the boat and they flash freeze it instantly my friend who's a doctor told me don't ever eat freshwater fish raw. The only freshwater fish that we eat at sushi is eel, but that's cooked. It's freshwater eel. Well, salmon.

Salmon is brachy. Well, it's brackish. Salmon is urichalene. Yeah, but a lot of it is, I mean, you can most certainly get freshwater salmon. Salmon exists in freshwater areas too, but it's a brackish. Or like a trout. Trout is going to be freshwater. Trout, right.

Yes. Yeah. You don't eat like sunfish sashimi. Right. River trout is definitely a thing you get at the sushi place. Yeah, you can get, parasites can fuck you up, man.

I know some people that have eaten bad food and gotten parasites and it's rough. Like what kind of parasites? Oh, like ringworm. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, ringworm you get like in the surface of your skin parasites? Oh, like ringworm. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, ringworm you get like in the surface you get, but roundworm, tapeworm. I know people that got tapeworm from food. Well, the worst is those bot flies. Yeah. I have some friends that got trichinosis. What's that? Trichinosis is horrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They got trichinosis from eating bear meat.

It was for the show Meat Eater. My friend Steve Rinella and his whole crew, they ate this bear meat, and it wasn't cooked well enough. Okay. And they all got trichinosis. Is that through some kind of pathogen? It's a parasite. Okay. There's some parasites in the meat,

and they bore their way into your muscle tissue. Here's what I found so you don't have to worry. Okay. All raw fish can have parasites, but not all raw fish does, especially when you're eating a well-established sushi restaurant. Why? The fish you're eating was flash frozen solid at a temperature of minus 35 degrees Fahrenheit and stored that way in a commercial freezer for at least 15 hours

to kill whatever parasites happen to be in it. That's right. Sushi is probably not fish that was caught this morning. In fact, most states like Oregon require it to be frozen first, but that's a good thing. Beyond banishing parasites. So I've eaten sushi that was not. And I had some friends that went tuna fishing, and they said that the chef, they had like this tuna fishing expedition thing. They catch tuna, they would catch the tuna, and then the chef on board would

cook for them and make sashimi right there. Like, those people are eating it fresh. They could get parasites. Yes, of course. But freshwater, I think, is the worst. I was wondering what it was called, and it says here, the candling they do, they have a high-powered flashlight to check. Through the fillets to look for any abnormalities,

including bones. They either remove them or discard the fish. You're playing the home game. You can do this easily enough yourself using a very bright flashlight. Furthermore, that seafood processor probably get a lot of their product from fish farms, which is less likely to be riddled with worms. So I have read things about people getting parasites from salmon. But when I was looking it up, I found a lot of people like tapeworm from sushi.

You can get a nematode, which is like a larva, a worm larva. So is that people that don't follow this flash frozen rule? Let me see what it says. Because trichinosis, one of the things about trichinosis is it survives freezing. Oh, Jesus. Okay. It depends on the trichinosis, apparently, because some trichinosis from the southern states doesn't survives freezing. Oh, Jesus. Okay. It depends on the trichinosis, apparently, because some trichinosis from the southern states doesn't survive freezing, but some of the stuff from like Alberta and Alaska,

it survives freezing. It's like there's different strains of trichinosis, but you have to cook it to like 160 degrees to kill it. What happens when you get it? How do you cure it? Well, you're fucked. Ivermectin. You have it for the rest of your life.

Ivermectin, yeah. It might be, actually. It's an antiparasitic. Yeah, you're fucked i've been back for the rest of your life yeah it might be actually it's an anti-parasitic yeah it actually might be i don't know what they take but he had a he took a lot of shit and he was really rough it was really rough for him like achy body like because it's like literally digging into your fucking muscle tissue i'm sure you could feel it too so if someone ate him they would get trichinosis. Okay. Isn't that wild? That's where you're getting it. You're getting it from an animal that ate an animal that had trichinosis. Also, this article, I clicked the link.

One person got sick off of it, and then a lot of articles started coming out. Media goes apeshit after one guy gets sick off sushi. Sushi usually contains raw food. It's not cooked. Raw things are full of bacteria. One guy got it in Portugal. Do you know what's interesting? Do you remember in the 80s, people who ate sushi were regarded as lunatics?

And in movies, if someone at California rolls, all the other characters would be like, Oh, what are you eating over there? And now it's just at the mall. And no one even blinks. It's totally normal. It's at the supermarket. You get supermarket sushi. H-E-B has great sushi. Do they?. Yeah, H-E-B has great sushi.

Do they really? They do. H-E-B has great everything. I love H-E-B. I'm so delighted by it. That's a risky risk taking person to eat supermarket sushi. I don't think it is though. It's a different kind of human. I think, yeah, I should be on Fear Factor. Gas station sushi. Can you imagine if Fear Factor was on H-E-B

sushi? I don't know. Bro, gas station sushi. You're not allowed any wasabi. This is real fear factor shit. What's the riskiest thing you eat? A gas station burrito? What's the ris- You know-

Or a hot dog. Hot dogs. Hot dogs on that spinner. Gas station hot dog. The hot dogs on those fucking- That's got it at the 7-Eleven. Rotating things. Is that the riskiest?

At a gas station. That's got to be the riskiest. That's pretty risky. Especially if there's cheese inside or something else. For sure, you're eating some dicks and assholes. For sure. And you're also probably going to get diarrhea because of the fat content. Maybe.

Possibly. I'd fucking cruise right through that hot dog, bro. What would be the weird, riskiest thing? Anything I cook, am I right? Whatever comes out of my wife's kitchen. But anyway. That's what's gonna be tonight at the take my wife at the comedy by the chef yeah that's it we're bringing back old-timey jokes yeah duncan's gonna bring his pop I uh I had I did um an event for my friends tom woods his was his 200th episode and because neil hamburger made this joke like 15 years ago on Red Eye,

I got a dummy made out of him. And I did the Centriloquist Act. And it gave me an excuse to wear a mask because then I don't have to be good with my lips. And it was the first time I bombed. Like I bombed. And the only thing that saved me from bombing was some drunk person rushed the stage

and was yelling at me to take off the mask and that I'm giving into the regime and he had to get tackled. And everyone thought it was a bit. And I'm like, no, no, I was just bombing fire on my own and this guy saved me. That's hilarious. Yeah, it was a bit.

The funny thing is I still have this puppet I had made of him, like this Muppet. And I just have in the house to scare people. The pandemic was the greatest thing ever for Ventriloquist. Yeah. It's the best. You don't have to try.

Just put a plague mask on and fucking... Have you ever tried to do ventriloquism? No. It's hard. I bet. I wish someone had sat me down and like, dude, practice. Don't just go up there and wing it.

There's no fucking way you can do that. There's no fucking way you can do that. No, but it's not just that. It's that you have to coordinate this with this hand. Don't tease the easy part. No, it's not. The peas. The peas are the problem.

It's like trying to circle your head and pat your stomach at the same time. If you're focusing on your mouth, you can't concentrate on your hand. Oh, so it's like playing guitar and singing. Yes. You can figure it out. Well, I didn't. And I paid the consequences for it. So I could.

Maybe if I didn't just fucking wing it. It was bad news. And I was the closing act. Everyone's like, oh my God, Michael Voss is going to kill it. And everyone's just sitting there on their hands. You don't see a lot of ventriloquist acts anymore. What's that guy's name? That guy who's like the...

Jeff Dunham. Yeah. Yeah, he's huge. But it's like, I think he's one of those guys that's like uh carrot top where when someone gets so big with that genre they kind of own the genre now right what are you trying to be carrot top yeah when i was a kid yeah when i was starting out there was a lot of prop acts there was like there would be like one every couple of shows is that right yeah

yeah there's quite a few guys started out out as Prop Axe and eventually dropped the props. Like Mitzi Shore was like, drop the props. Should make you drop the props. Should make you put away the guitar. Should make you put away the guitar and fucking eat shit. I remember when I was young and Stern had the E! show, right? And he had Carrot Top on. And everyone's like, oh my God, he's got to have Carrot Top on.

He's got to have Carrot Top on. And it was just really, really great because Carrot Top comes in. Everyone thinks he's going to nuke him. And he's like, I'm supposed to hate you? He's like, wait my God, he's going to have Carrot Top on. He's got a Carrot Top on. And it was just really, really great because Carrot Top comes in. Everyone thinks he's going to nuke him. And he's like, I'm supposed to hate you? He's like, wait, what's your crime? You make families laugh with toys. And like everyone leaves and has a great experience. Like, why are you a bad guy?

It was really kind of funny. He was the whipping boy for comedians forever. He's a really nice guy. Scott is a fucking really good guy. Yeah, I saw you had him on. He's a fucking sweetheart. I love him. But what's the crime that he makes the crime that he nothing no crime? I never got it I never participated in it. I didn't get it. I don't understand the hate

I don't care if someone does something different than what I do like why I don't understand why that would be bad right are you Funny are you bringing joy? Oh, I should have made this event. He's fucking funny. Hey Joe Have a look at South Park. Yeah Hey Joe, what's going on? I'm building robots. Look how stoic he looks. So stoic. She really nailed it.

Oh, my God, she nailed it. I'm going to frame that face and put it in my house. He's going to be so excited when he sees it. Yeah, he is. I hadn't seen it either. Guarantee you. Hey, Lex. What's up?

He's got a great fucking show. Yeah, he does. When I do his show, we always dress up. I see. Last time I was on, I was dressed as Kraftwerk because the robots. And everyone's like, why is he wearing lipstick? I'm doing Kraftwerk. Relax. And he was dressed like Santa. That's hilarious. Duncan Trussell and I do that. We dress up, and last time,

one of the times, it might not have been the last one, but one of the times we dressed up, we had candles all over the table, so the only light in the room was candles, and we were both dressed like clowns, and it was featured on Fox News, because we went on some crazy rant they agreed with, and they said, Joe Rogan had a really good point. He fucking dressed like a clown.

Like, I'm a literal clown. You're coming to me for good points? I was on Tim Pool, and I had a propeller beanie. And shout out to Jose Garcia. He put a motor in, so this propeller was spinning. And I'm just talking about Woodrow Wilson and the American Economic Association on things happening in the early progressive era. And all these people online, like, I can't take someone seriously who's got a propeller beanie on. I'm like, well, that's the point.

That is the point. I'll tell you. Tim's coming back April 14th at Vulcan. It's going to be me, Alex, Blair, Alex Stein, and him on stage. I'm sure Ian's going to be there. And I've got the most amazing outfit, I'll tell you, off the air. And the trick is to have no one acknowledge that you're in an outfit I can't wait to see it it's gonna be a lot of fun that sounds like fun I love silly shows like that two guys wear an outfit and if you do it like it

whatever criticism anybody lobbies your way like come on I'm like I'm dressed like a clown I'm mocking myself Joe I it's it's sometimes it's hard for me to realize how normies think I remember I had a job interview. This must have been 20 years ago. And the guy who was interviewing me was like 27. So he was a young, cool dude, whatever. And I was telling him I was just listening to Insane Clown Posse. And they're singing about how they took their manager and threw him out of a window.

And that they stabbed the mail paper man. And now they drive around in his truck. And it was hilarious. And the guy's like, wow, some people are really crazy. I'm like, they're clowns. They call themselves clowns. This is absurdity and it's ridiculous. They're not throwing people out of fucking windows.

But for him, it was just like, this is weird and stupid. I'm like, okay. Okay. Yeah, okay. Yeah, look, I'm dressed like a clown. Yeah, I put the clown suit on. On purpose.

What can you tell? I'm not wearing a suit and tie begging to be taken seriously I didn't wake up and be like holy shit I'm in clown gear and I can't take it off you can't beg to be taken seriously especially the kind of stuff that you talk about like you say some very controversial shit and it's funnier if it's coming out of a guy with a propeller hat on

or in fucking lipstick what was the inspiration to write this book, this book of hope by Michael Malice? The inspiration was, it's the story of the rise of the Soviet Union. What actually happened there? And part of the inspiration was, it bothers me how people,

when they complain about how oppressive governments can be, we have no idea how bad it could be here. And having come from there, obviously Lexus from there as well, to realize this is the bullet that my family dodged. So I go through the way they starved millions of people in Ukraine. They forced people to go on trial to admit to things that not only did they not do but were literally impossible. The way they turned parents against their children and children against their parents. And of course, the concentration camps, the gulags. But the scary thing was every step of the way, whatever atrocity happened, there were people in the West who are still in powerful agencies, New York Times, the New Republic, the nation,

who were tripping over themselves to not only excuse and defend these things, but to say, hey, we need to be more like Stalin here. But so 75% of this book is as dark as it gets. A lot of times people tell me, oh, you're naive. You think people are basically good. No. But the point being, they lost. And they lost so hard that the country no longer exists. And we don't even talk about it.

This was what was bothering me, that millions of lives were lost. People were tortured in ways that are that i completely unspeakable and now everyone just pretends it never happened and i'm like i'm going to do something about a telling giving testimony to these countrymen of mine but also pointing out we won and we won relatively easily and relatively recently when you think about all the atrocities of history, why do you think that that one, which is fairly recent, is not discussed as much? Because I, okay, there's a couple of reasons. One is there's no easy narrative, right? So it's very clear in World War II that Hitler's a bad guy.

We can't say Stalin's really a bad guy because why are we teaming up with him? People like the WWE version of history, right? Good versus bad. If he's on our team and we're the good guys, he can't really be that bad. So that's part of it. Second is there would have to be a lot of accountability. When the New York Times is saying explicitly there is no starvation in Ukraine, nor is there likely to be in page A1 headlines, what are they going to talk about it now?

What year was this? Early 30s, the Holodomor. So were they getting bad information or were they ideologically captured because they were Marxists? So their guy who they had there was someone named Walter Durante and he was a really interesting figure

because he actually stole Aleister Crowley's girlfriend. Aleister Crowley was like the first big Satanist. And there were perverse incentives working behind the Iron Curtain. This wasn't the Iron Curtain then, that came later. But the idea was, if I'm in Moscow, and I'm writing for a Western outlet, I have to get it through the censors. I can't just email

somebody, I got to get you to approve it. So it's your job as the guy working for the government to make sure that what I'm putting out isn't too damaging to the Soviet Union. And you could play a game where you're like, let me talk to my supervisor. I have a deadline. You don't have any incentive to get back to me on time. I'm going to have to play ball. So that was one incentive that even if you were the most honest reporter in these countries, you still had a lot of pressure to kind of tow the party line or else they could just deport you overnight.

I mean, where you're staying is at the government's largest. So that was part of it. Second is there, I can't, I'm not in his head. I don't know why Walter Del Rante was covering up for this genocide. But the fact of the matter is there's someone named Gareth Jones and there was a movie about him called Mr. Jones. And he's like, something's not adding up. So he went on a train through Ukraine, got out early and just went through all the towns and he saw for himself what was happening. These people are telling him we're

starving. They're ransacking our houses. They can tell by our face if we're not starving, because if your cheeks aren't hollow, you're hiding food. They come back in the middle of the night, ransack your house. If there's soup thrown on the floor, take off your clothes and throw you out into the cold. It's your fault. You're the kulak. Your fault why the rest of Russia's hungry. They made them great scapegoats. He reported what was happening. And then all the Western reporters ganged up on him like he's lying. This is just anti-communist propaganda. You don't get it. So again, for another example was Henry Wallace, who was FDR's second vice president. He visited a gulag in Siberia.

And he comes back talking about how they're well-treated. There's all these people moving to Siberia. It's like the Wild West. They're frontiersmen. And then Eleanor Lipper, who was on the far side of the fence, escaped years later. She's a foreign national. And she goes, I was there. We were imprisoned. We were were beaten raped like starving but they just put on a song and dance for you

fell for it hook line and sinker so that story i think needs to be told and that's one of the reasons i wrote the book so people could could see how much blood is on the hand of so many western influencers to this day and then you have these things where like for example i joe rogan gets arrested right there's nothing you can do to me you can break my fingers you can break my nose i'm a tough dude whatever see what happens when your wife or kids get arrested see what's gonna you're gonna start confessing to you're gonna confess to whatever the fuck they want whatever the fuck they want yeah Whatever the fuck they want. Yeah. And that's the techniques that they used. Speaking of which, did you see the new video of the fucking QAnon shaman being led through the Capitol building by police? No.

What happened there? You know, there's this story of the violent insurrection. Oh, yeah, of course. That's the narrative, right? By the way, let's just be real clear. You shouldn't break into the fucking Capitol building. You shouldn't be trying to overthrow the government. You shouldn't be trying to get out there and say that the election was false when you don't exactly know.

You're just buying into it and then you all invade the Capitol. Wasn't good. Wasn't a good look for America. Wasn't good for any of the people there. Nothing was good about January 6th. Let's be real clear. Nothing was good about January 6th. Let's be real clear. But when you watch the video of that guy being led around through the Capitol building by police,

they're basically giving him like a tour. They're talking to him and hanging out with him. At one point in time, it's him and there's like six police officers around him. And they're not arresting him. They're not throwing him to the ground. There's no violence at all. Like, I don't think what that guy did was good. I don't think what any of those people did was good.

It wasn't smart to fucking barge into the Capitol and take pictures of your feet on Nancy Pelosi's desk. It's fucking stupid. It's a crime. But they were leading him around. The cops were talking to him and hanging out with him. They weren't arresting him immediately. It wasn't like he was this violent guy who broke in

and started smashing things and fucked the government. They stayed between the velvet ropes. Watch the video. Yeah. Have you seen the video? No, I have not seen the video. See if you can find it. Because Tucker Carlson highlighted it on his television show, and now everybody's up in arms because it's coming from Tucker.

But it should be coming from the New York Times, too. It should be coming from everybody. This is video footage of this guy, and it's a thing that's different than what we're being told it is we're being told that they barged in and fucking brah and they overtook the capitol locked them up put them in jail it seems edited though i'll be honest with yes both it's definitely edited teams edited it okay various ways it's definitely edited but when you see the video itself you do see these cops walking around with this guy. And they're essentially, it's like they're giving him a tour.

It doesn't seem like what we thought it was. But the other thing is. I thought it was like they broke in and then they fucking scared the cops away. And there were so many of them that they overtook the Capitol. I'm going to get a lot of heat for this and I don't care. Where was President Trump for these people? These are his strongest supporters. He did not stick his neck out for them in the slightest. He let them rot in jail.

Is that the one? I can't tell because I'm not listening to it. So here it is. But it turns out there's quite a bit of video you haven't seen. And that video tells a very different story about what happened on January 6th. Oh, they're fixing it. More than a thousand hours of surveillance footage from in and around the Capitol have been withheld from the public.

And once you see the video, you'll understand why. Taken as a whole, the video record does not support the claim that January 6th was an insurrection. In fact, it demolishes that claim. And that's exactly why the Democratic Party and its allies in the media prevented you from seeing it. By controlling the images you were allowed to view from January 6th, they controlled how the public understood that day. They could lie about what happened, and you would never know the difference. Those lies had a purpose. They created a pretext for a federal crackdown Holy shit.

Wow. is just how many people entered the Capitol building that day. Holy shit. Hundreds and hundreds of people. Wow. Possibly thousands over the course of about two hours. The crowd was enormous. A small percentage of them were hooligans. They committed vandalism. You've seen their pictures again and again. But the overwhelming majority weren't.

They were peaceful. They were orderly and meek. These were not insurrectionists. They were sight. They were orderly and meek. These were not insurrectionists. They were sightseers. Footage from inside the Capitol overturns the story you've heard about January 6th. Protesters queue up in neat little lines. They give each other tours outside the Speaker's office. They take cheerful selfies and they smile.

They're not destroying the Capitol. They obviously revere the Capitol. They're there because they believe the election was stolen from them. They believe in the system. Here's the man you've heard referred to as the QAnon shaman outside the Senate chamber. These are not rioters. These are people who wandered over from a political rally. We will not let them silence your voices. After the rally, they walked down Pennsylvania Avenue, where organizers had secured a federal permit to hold a legal rally on the grounds of the Capitol. I know that everyone here will soon be marching over to the Capitol building to peacefully

and patriotically make your voices heard. MILES O' Once at the Capitol building, things began to get chaotic. Capitol police officers fired tear gas into the crowd. A few at the front of the herd broke windows. Someone opened the doors, and many hundreds of others just walked in. They're gonna make that the story. Of course, they did make it the story.

And at the center of it, the single most famous person arrested that day was a Navy veteran from Arizona called Jacob Chansley, often referred to as the QAnon shaman. The so-called QAnon shaman. QAnon shaman. Someone named Q Shaman. JOHN YANG, Jacob Chansley became the face of January 6, a dangerous conspiracy theorist dressed in outlandish costume who led the violent insurrection to overthrow

American democracy. For these crimes, Chansley was sentenced to nearly four years in prison, far more time than many violent criminals now receive. What did Jacob Chansley do to receive this punishment? To this day, there is dispute over how Chansley got into the Capitol building. But according to our review of the internal surveillance video, it is very clear what happened once he got inside. Virtually every moment of his time inside the Capitol was caught on tape. Wow. They're opening the doors for him. We counted at least nine officers who were within touching distance of unarmed Jacob

Chansley. Not one of them even tried to slow him down. Chansley understood that Capitol Police were his allies. Video shows him giving thanks for them in a prayer on the floor of the Senate. Watch. Thank you, Heavenly Father, for paying the inspiration needed to these police officers to allow us in this building.

Contrast the reality of what Jacob Chansley did in the Capitol building on January 6th. Oh, he's bald. Indisputable facts recorded on video, some of which has never before been seen, with a depiction of Jacob Chansley that you've seen in the media

for more than two years. He's a terrorist, they said. He should be killed. Shoot him. Shoot him. Like, if you burst into the United States, if he was dressed like Bin Laden, would you have shot him? Shoot him. No.

Shoot him. It makes you wonder, who are the violent extremists here? Not Jacob Chansley. And the video proves that. But you would never have known from the media coverage. The people sitting in the chairs. Wild.

Right? You're not supposed to go into the Capitol building. Granted. I thought you, at certain times, you are. Not like that.

Yeah, not like that. Not like that. But when you see the people taking him around, essentially on a tour, that's not what I thought it was. I just hope all the conservatives watching this realize how little appetite there is in the Republican party for defending people like this. And thinking that Mitch McConnell, Donald Trump care about this is a delusion. It's not even defending them. It's just, forget about it.

Let's look at what, what actually happened. We didn't know that happened. Right. We had a version of it was just chaos, and the cops ran away. I would have never imagined this. Cops were murdered. Yeah. I would have never imagined that this. I'm shocked to see that, to be honest. That's so wild. And to your point that it's not a bigger story, that it's fucking Tucker who's covering this.

It's just broken. And I think people are starting to pay attention to it now. I don't think it's broken. I think it's fucking Tucker. Well, it's just broken and I think people are starting to pay attention to it now I don't think it's broken. I think it's by design. I think it's work. It's by design. It's not an accident No, I mean it just broke. I mean, oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so I just got out in the world I think it's really recent and so I think people are just starting to recognize that It's not what you thought it was It's not good to get in. It's not good, but they did, clearly. You want to peacefully protest, you do it outside.

You don't ever go into the fucking Capitol building. If someone smashes his door, don't enter behind it. I don't see how not having him under house arrest wouldn't be infinitely preferable to putting him in jail, which is cheaper. Stay in your house. They're putting him in jail for four years. He's not violent.

For going on a tour. There's no concern that he's going to kill someone or assault someone. He pled guilty. He pled guilty. Of course he did him in jail for four years. Yeah, like, who's that? He's not violent. For going on a tour. There's no concern that he's gonna kill someone or assault someone. Yeah. He pled guilty. Of course he did. Of course he pled down. If he doesn't plead guilty, they give him 25 years. Yes. Yeah. And he was guilty. He was there. He was trespassing. 100% guilty. He definitely should be,

there should be some kind of punishment for doing that to make sure that people don't do that again. Well, wouldn't it be better if he did actually community service and help the community? Clean up. Go fucking clean up garbage somewhere. Go clean up that wall. Do that for four years every weekend. You have to go to the mall, clean up broken glass. Fine. The problem is with

those kind of protest things, man, the mob has a mind of its own. And if you're in that mob and you just follow along with it and all of a sudden they have your fucking face on the wall. But that didn't even seem like the mob. Because it wasn't like they were knocking shit, pulling off of walls. But that's also selective, right? Sure, of course.

This is the thing. They're showing us only the good stuff. If we wanted to watch all of it, I think there's some insane amount of hours of footage. And this has only been recently released. So who knows what else we can see. I think it's just very sad that we had these big hearings for a long time and they must have had this footage and they sat on it. Yeah.

It's crazy. And I feel bad for those people because they were duped yeah they really thought that like trump had their back and this is okay and you know we're america like the whole little narrative i also feel bad for people like that guy saying shoot him shoot him why because now if he sees this video he's going to realize realize, like, oh, I was misinformed. No way. You don't think so? He will double down. He will absolutely double down.

Really? 100%. Capitol Police Chief Blast Tucker Carlson Over Misleading January 6 Footage. Video Aired by Carlson Showed QAnon Shaman Jacob Chansley Accompanied by Police But Not Violence On The Day Rioter Stormed The Capitol. And so what is he saying about it being misleading? Fox spokespeople didn't respond to comment when asked. Claimed by Carlson that Capitol Police served as tour guides for Jacob

Chansley, the horn-wearing QAnon shaman was outrageous and false. Manager wrote, he said that the Capitol Police were badly outnumbered on January 6th and that those officers did their best to use de-escalation tactics to try to talk rioters into getting each other to leave the building.

Okay, that makes sense. That makes sense. But that's still not the same. Why are they opening doors for him? That's still not the same narrative. Is that de-escalation tactics? You can see it. Take a look at it.

But you guys got to leave. Well, I was looking at it. I thought maybe that they were taking him out. Not in handcuffs, obviously, which maybe they should have if they thought he did bad, but leading him out of the building. That's why the one cops didn't react to like he's taking him out. Maybe they're looking for an exit. But it seemed like they were looking for an entrance because he was saying that he gave thanks to the police officers for letting him in. It seemed very clear also that there was no possibility that he was going to be violent toward them.

Like they were not clearly in fear of their lives or that he was going to be violent toward them. Like they were not clearly in fear of their lives or that he was going to swing on them or anything like that. No, no, no, not at all. I mean, they were talking to him. He thanked them. He gave a prayer and thanked them. It's a very unfortunate thing.

Four years is no joke. Four years. It's a long fucking time. It's a long time to be locked up. Carlson says they checked with the Capitol Police before airing the video. He said, we're happy to say their reservations were minor Fucking time it's a long time to be locked up Carlson says they checked with the Capitol Police Before in the video he said we're happy to say their reservations were minor and for the most part They're a reasonable Capitol Police spokesman Tim Barber said that we repeatedly Request that any clips be shown to us first for a security review so far

We have only been given the ability to preview a single clip out of the multiple clips that aired So they didn't show them all of it. And his attorney didn't have that footage. Wow. Holy crap. Chansley's attorney, through sentencing in November 2021, said he had been provided many hours of video by prosecutors, but not the footage which Carlson aired on Monday night. He said that he had not seen video of Chansley

walking through Capitol hallways with multiple Capitol Police officers. What's deeply troubling, Watkins said Tuesday, is the fact that I have to watch Tucker Carlson to find video footage with the government has, but chose not to disclose despite the absolute duty to do so, despite being requested in writing to do so multiple times. You can't. I'm not an attorney, but I know enough that if you're a prosecutor, you're holding evidence that could clear the defendant. That's not legal. Because discovery means you have to turn over all the evidence, not just things that will incriminate him. It's ugly. Wow. Can you imagine if this gets overturned? Or he gets, wow. Yeah. It says Carlson's program conveniently cherry picked from the calmer moments of our over 41,000 hours of video, manager wrote. The commentary fails to provide context about the chaos and violence that happened before or during these less tense moments. Well, that's fair. Sure. previously produced a three-part series in 2021 called Patriot Purge on the streaming service Fox

Nation, which suggested the riot was orchestrated by Antifa groups, the FBI, and other government agencies. It was a false flag operation to discredit Trump supporters. But here's the thing. The FBI was asked if they used Asian provocateurs on January 6th, and they refused to answer. I'm sure you've seen that footage Yes Yeah And they know about that guy Ray Epps that was on the Capitol grounds saying we got to go in there and people call Them a Fed and nothing's happened to that guy. Nothing's happened that guy But the guy was clearly inciting these people to do something illegal and they know who he is. They have it on tape

Yeah, they have it on tape. Yeah, they have it on tape. It's all very wild. The fact that that is a practice, that they hire people to go and rile people up to go do illegal things. Well, look at the Gretchen Whitmer stuff. Yeah, that's hilarious. Is it? No. It's disturbing to me. It's horrible.

For people who don't know, tell everybody the story because I've told it a million times just like the Younger Dryas impact theory. I don't know if I have all the details exactly right, but there was this quote-unquote conspiracy to kidnap Gretchen Whitmer, who was just recently reelected as governor of Michigan. And it turned out that people were instigating were working for the feds. Is that not correct? Fourteen people, 12 of them were FBI informants. Holy crap. Okay, yeah. So they fucking set everything up. And these people that got arrested and wound up doing time, they're like, this is all play.

Like, I never really thought we were going to do it. Of course, I would say that, too, if they arrested me for trying to kidnap the governor. Do you ever get called, accused of being a Fed? No. Oh, yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure if I go deep down the darkest. I'm called a shill for saying the earth is round. So I'm sure someone out there is calling me a fed.

I'm at the level where I am controlled opposition. And then after that, if I get more successful, I'm going to be a psyop. So I'm looking forward to having that upgrade. Yeah, I think I'm a useful idiot. Oh, Lex gets called a fed all the time. Yeah. Lex, are you a fed? I'm friends with Mike Baker, who used to be in the CIA.

Well, he's a real spook. He's a nice guy. Yeah, I know him. I know him from Fox. I like him a lot. You know, so I get, like, he's my handler. People say he's my handler. Oh, is that?

Why would your handler be open? I don't know, because he's pretty fucking critical about the government sometimes, and pretty critical about, you know, the way people are handling things. But he also gives you an insight into foreign policy in a way that you're only going to get from somebody who really understands it. No, he has a very good sense of humor. I really enjoy him. Yeah, he's a great guy.

Like a genuinely good guy. And fucking honest about some stuff. I'm sure he doesn't tell me something. Of course he can't. He can't. No, but I've talked to him about stuff, and he's like stuff off the record that's like his little operations. It's like, okay, this is what we did.

This is what I could tell you. Yeah. But when he talks about foreign policy, it's from an educated perspective. He understands how operations work. And I think that's a very valuable insight for people to hear it from a person like him who's served like that. It's a very different world. And we have this idealistic utopian view of the rest of the world. Yeah.

You're right. Do we have this idea that Biden and Putin are going to sit down in a room where Biden's a Lenski and that's what, that's what's happening. That's going to be the show. Yeah. But if you're going to have a WWE, you have the writers, you have the meetings,

you know, all the things behind the scenes, look at the Cuban missile crisis. Yep. You know? Yeah. It looked like we, we rolled them,

but it's just like, yeah, cause Kennedy took credit and Khrushchev had to keep his mouth shut. Yeah. And you know, there's another problem that's going on right now is that they've already, they have a momentum of money running in that direction. So that means there's immense amounts of profit. And the longer this goes on, the more profit can be raised.

It's not. And then it's the sunk cost fallacy. Because it's like, well, we spent 50 billion. Are you just going to let $50 billion go to waste? All these lives lost go to waste? We got to get our ROI. We jumped out of Afghanistan and right into Ukraine. Yeah, you're right.

And do you know what else is interesting? And I'm just circling back to the whole national divorce thing. When people are like, oh, if Texas leaves, America won't ever let her go. We stopped hearing about the plight of women under the Taliban in Afghanistan, which is a real problem. Like if you really were concerned about these humanitarian issues, that is a major, major concern. But because the narrative isn't there,

it's like, eh, screw those bitches. Yeah. The narrative of the mistreatment of women in certain countries run by dictators is never discussed. Right. You know,

it's always how bad America is. But it's also like now that we're not there, it's like, ah, too bad. It's a complex chess game they're playing all over the world, and it's also being motivated heavily by money and resources, control of resources. And power. Power. It's all this weird game that leaders play, and we're stuck.

We're stuck being a part of something that can, like, directly have horrific consequences for everyone. game that leaders play and we're stuck we're stuck being a part of something that can like directly have horrific consequences for everyone everyone i'm just gladdened by and thanks to people like jimmy door is a great example tulsi i love him i just i was just on his show he was on my show he's the best um the idea that like we should take everything coming out of dc out of both parties war parties with a grain of salt. And I think the fact that that's become normalized is really a great thing. If they had their druthers, we'd be in Syria by the boatloads for as one easy example.

It's, you know, it's goes back to Eisenhower, goes back to his, it goes back to Wilson, but that, that speech that he gave on, oh yeah, the military industrial complex. Yeah. That speech to this day, like, my God, what, what did he speech that he gave on television. Oh, yeah, the military industrial complex, yeah. That speech, to this day, like, my God, what did he know that he was trying to warn us about? Because this is a guy, this is World War II. Right, he was the guy. Yeah, I mean, and he's telling us that there's a fucking industry that wants to go to war,

and we have to be careful of this. And now it's, like, not even discussed. But now, I think now it's not even hidden. No. I think it's really understood even discussed. But now I think now it's not even hidden. No. I think it's really understood that. It was really funny. It was like one minute it was Trump's a lunatic for talking about the deep state. And then the next day it's like, thank God we have the deep state to fight Trump.

And without blinking an eye. Right. And I think without him in the picture, people, because he in many ways is a because of his huge personality his aggression his tweets Which I certainly enjoyed more than anyone But without him there as a like either your for Trump or your you have TDS people like wait a minute there's a lot of Fucked up shit going on that has nothing to do with nothing to do with it That's not him and if Republicans were doing it people would be up in our yes

Yeah up in arms the same, yeah. Up in arms. The same people that have Ukraine flags in their Twitter bio, they would be up in arms. If Trump tried to send troops to Ukraine, forget it. It would be called for impeachment. We're so fucking captured. This country is so captured by these tribal ideologies. It's so strange. And when a person like you comes along,

you know, a self-proclaimed anarchist, that's why people don't know what to do with you. It's really fun. It's weird. They don't know what to do with you. You're like, I don't think there should be any police. I don't think there should be any government. It's also really funny,

because then it's like, what's your real, because they can't put me in a box. What's your real agenda? When you say you want Texas to be independent, what do you really mean? I'm like, I want Texas to be independent. Okay, but is it for Israel?

Is it for China? Is it because this? Because of that? Because you're really a Democrat? It's like, okay. Whatever answer bothers you most is what I tell them. You're really a Democrat. Oh, I get that a lot.

You're friends with Blair. You're clearly a Democrat. That's the logic. That's literally the logic. Isn't she red? Yeah, but she's trans, so she's a Democrat. Oh my God. This is the thinking. Yeah't she red? Yeah, but she's trans, so she's a Democrat. Oh, my God. This is the thinking.

Yeah. Hilarious. Anybody who doesn't believe trans people should be trans, like no one should be trans, you got to meet Blair White. And you go, oh, okay. Good luck meeting her. She's not very friendly. She's friendly to me.

I know, but me and her spend way too much time. You know what I'm saying? I know exactly what you're saying. The people that don't think that that it's like that's part of the problem that I have with some people on the right It's like when it gets to like LBGTQ people especially like gay marriage and stuff like why do you give a fuck? Like what are we doing? Well Deborah So talks a lot about this in her book at the end of gender and what she talks about like for a lot because The argument is well, they're all crazy. It's like okay sure

But what are you gonna do with the so-called crazy person? And so it talks in her book. For a lot of people, they grow out of it. But for a lot of them, transitioning actually does help their mental health. Yeah, for people that are transitioning. There's a fucking spectrum just like everything else. But I'm talking about gay people and gay marriage. For people that oppose that, that's just nuts. If you really don't think that people are gay

and you think they should just not give in to that instinct. Wait, you think that? I don't think that's a thing anymore. Oh, they think that for sure. Who says that? There's plenty of people that are Christian to think that it's just like there's temptations to murder and I don't murder, you know, well,

if there's people that really think that if you're tempted to go suck dick, more power to you. Like that's not, I don't think it's just a temptation. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's a deep desire. But if you talk to some of them, they, they do not think that you should engage in that.

It's actually a conversation I had with Ben Shapiro, like, about gay people. He just doesn't think you should do it. I mean, he's married, to his credit, so, like, you're not having to have those urges. But, I mean, he has friends that are gay and married. Like, he's friends with Ruben, who's gay and married. I asked Ruben about this on my show And he's like I'm like dude how can you Invite someone to a wedding

And to know that they're sitting there Judging you right And he's like look there's a ceiling to my friendship Like at a certain point I realized Okay I can't completely integrate this guy into my life And that was a fair answer I thought that was a good answer I'm officiating a wedding this weekend Paul and Eric In Arizona who are just two close friends of mine into my life. And that was a fair answer. I thought that was a good answer. I'm officiating a wedding this weekend.

Paul and Eric in Arizona, who are just two close friends of mine. Did you become an ordained minister? No, but I am... Joe, do you know how hard it's going to be for me to not get down on one knee from the officiating stand and propose to one or both of them on the spot? So I'm saying it here so I don't have to do it in real life, because I am so

close to doing it. Yeah, don't ruin their day. It's their big day, buddy. I mean, you knew it was a snake when you picked it up. Keep the lights on. You know that expression? It's okay to have a snake in the room as long as you have the lights on. Is that it? Yeah.

I'm officiating another wedding later in this year for Josh and Zoe, and I'm going to have to point out to Josh that, you know, she's got a kid. Well, they have a kid together. I mean, this is like a fake wedding because they couldn't get married during COVID. But have you ever officiated a wedding? Yes, I did.

Isn't it so fun? Yeah, it was fun. It's such an honor to me. I became an ordained minister online. I think I'm going to, I might have to do that. Whatever they need,

I'll do. It's easy. Just fill out a form. For the university life church, whatever that is. Something like that. Yeah. One of them weird ones.

Maybe I'm in a cult. I don't even know about it. Might've been landmark. Did it turn you into a priest it's a rabbi turned you into a monk what can i be i'm just i mean what kind of you could you get a monk to marry you like what kind of people can marry i think anyone can marry you right but i mean like isn't there like a religious like like a catholic preach clearly can marry you right but can a monk marry you? Yes. If I could marry you.

Right, they could. Right. Right. Just because they could. But it's not like a thing where you don't have to get a license or you don't have to become ordained. Well, I think if you're a member of an organization that's ordained probably carries over. How are you doing Scientology? They tell you who you're marrying.

The most gangster thing that Scientology ever did is achieve tax-exempt status. You know, it's just hitting me. I still can't believe that we spent like five minutes on Landmark and you read the whole proposal. Seems like a good organization. I hope they do well with people. Screw your comedy show. I'm going to go check out Landmark. Seems like they have some good ideas.

I'm waiting for the cult part. What's the part that's bad? What's the downside? What is the downside? I'm happier. I have more friends. My career is thriving. Sounds like you're looking at your life in a very positive way. Why is that bad? What's the, what the problem is? Well, that's the thing. Like, even like, if you think about that, like someone making an organization like that, let's not say landmarks, don't even talk about them, but someone who espoused very similar ideals about how to live your life. He'd be like, oh, that's a really good path to follow. Seems smart. Maybe I should align myself

with them. Yeah. Like what was her name? Marianne Williamson. Have you ever had her on? No. Is she the presidential candidate? Yeah. I read her book, The Politics of Love, because I did an article about it. I kind of think she's just great. She had this piece in her book that really kind of kicked my ass in terms of just, this is really great information. She has this thing called A Course in Miracles, so you can imagine. But she used to teach it in the 80s in LA and like all her audience is gay and they're dropping like flies from AIDS, right? And she's trying to give them hope. And it's like, Marianne, Ms. Williamson, we're all dying. And she goes, okay, I'm not telling you it's going to be cured tomorrow. What if it's like, Marianne, Ms. Williamson, we're all dying. And she goes, okay, I'm not telling you it's going to be cured tomorrow.

What if it's like diabetes? What if you have to live with it all your life and they cut off your foot and then your eyes pop out? Is that so bad? Is that so impossible? And when you put it in those terms, it's like, okay, this is something I can actually hope for. It becomes less of a miracle and more of like a managed realistic hope. Wasn't that a book, A Course in Miracles? I'm sure she had a book too yeah but there wasn't there was a book that was written by someone who claimed that I think they claimed they were channeling

was that A Course in Miracles there was a book that I remember in the 90s a bunch of people were trying to hand I think I want to buying one because a bunch of people were like telling people to go get it it's changed my life like one of those i was like what is it is that the book a course in miracles 1976 book by helen this must be it underlying premise is that the greatest miracle is the act of simply gaining a full awareness of love's presence in a person's life so shum shuman said So that's what it is. There it is. So that book became like a super popular book with like alternative thinking people that were looking for some sort of religious thing to. That new agey stuff. Yeah., like, I'm not into religion, but I'm into this. It's spiritual. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the I'm not into religion, but I'm into spirituality thing. Yeah, but that, remember

Bill Hicks was into that book. Was he really? Mm-hmm. I'd never guessed that. Wow. Yeah, I knew his one of his ex-girlfriends who told me that that was like something that he read. I think he maybe even talked about it in an interview, too. But it was, uh, everybody had a blue cover on it and everybody was passing it around.

It was like the thing in the 90s. Huh. But then it kind of died off. I never hear about it anymore. Miracle over. Is that the same lady who just announced she's going to be president? Yeah, that's Mary Wilson.

Yeah, that's her. So is she reading based on that book? A Course in Miracles, yeah. Oh, I thought she originated that. Inspiring teachings on A Course in Miracles. Yeah, so she's basing it on that book A Course in Miracles. Oh, I thought she originated that. Inspiring teachings on A Course in Miracles. So she's basing it on this book. But it was dictated by Jesus Christ, so it must be good.

Well, yeah, he's really good at his stuff. Well, he went through a lady in the 70s. Yeah. Yeah, he came back for a little bit. But just through her. Just checking in. Just one more book. I think maybe people are getting the wrong impression of some of the stuff that i wrote he didn't write any of it as well hearsay oh that's right so it's like listen luke's a good guy but come on let me give you from the first person perspective and i didn't really die i was just like hiding i just wanted to take a

break i was yeah i'm dead i was a peekaboo champion i A high-density champion. I just went. I was like, I just need a break. Do you want a little silent time? I need some me time. Jesus needs some me time, okay? Dude, it's already 5.16. Oh, crap. Get the fuck out of here. I got a comedy club to open. Yes, sir.

Hold the book up. Let everybody know. It's available right now. WhitePillBook.com. The White Pill by Michael Malice. Is it available in audio form as well? Yes, sir. Did you do the narration? Of course I did. Of course you did. form as well? Yes, sir. Did you do the narration?

Of course I did. Of course you did. I knew it. Yes, sir. Wouldn't you want, I like it when the book is read by the author. Oh, I love it. I hate it when an actor reads someone, and you can tell they don't really give a fuck about the-

Especially if you know the author's voice, like their literal voice. Exactly. You or Jordan or someone like that. I can't. Yes. Thanks, Lex. Yeah, we'll cut into Lex later. It seems rude to cut into him on the air.

Yeah, I guess. Okay. All right. Appreciate you, brother. Goodbye, everybody. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye.