The Joe Rogan Experience - #1981 - Pauly Shore

Episode Date: May 3, 2023

Pauly Shore is a stand-up comic, actor, filmmaker, and musician.  www.paulyshore.com

the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day no you're fine it's okay come on man you don't have a giant burke crashes heads twice oh my god he wears them okay you can adjust it i feel like i'm going on up to the mothership with these things dude you fucking killed at the mothership. That was the funniest I've ever seen. You were so loose and so silly. It was fun to see, man. First of all, you could tell you've been doing stand-up.

You looked super comfortable. But you were so loose. It's, you know, it's stand-up, as you know, is a rhythm, you know? And you just kind of figure it out when you're on stage and you never know what the fuck's going to happen. Yeah. Yeah, he just, that night was just, you know, David was nice enough to let me on his show,

and after I, you know, put my finger under his boob sweat, I went like this. I like to do that a lot. And then he's got sweaty brows, and I did like that, and it got me excited. Pheromones. Yeah, yeah. And then I went, and then he's got sweaty brows and i did like that and it got me excited for months yeah yeah and then i and then i went and then i saw montgomery and i he had his flip his hair over and then i punched hans in the stomach and then i got on stage it was all happening perfect yeah sequence yeah so no it's you know what you said up there it's you know it's in my veins

it's really in my veins. Like just the second I walked in that room, I just felt this focus. And that's what I said to you. I just really feel like there's a focus there. Well, that club was a rock and roll club. I mean, you see the picture that's in the tunnel when you walk onto the stage? Yeah. We see the big picture of Steve Ray Vaughan that's yes performing on that stage in 1983 yeah that's the Allah old Alamo Drafthouse it was only the Alamo Drafthouse from the tooth I think was like 2007 on okay before that it had been a bunch of things it was a pool hall at one point in time it was a nudie movie theater at one point in time it was a

punk rock club like all the posters that you see that are in the green room that are in those are all posters of people performing at the Ritz it's all like that was the Ritz before that before the Alamo yes oh it's been the Ritz since 1927 it has to stay the Ritz no matter what it is that sign the Ritz always exists because it's a historical landmark. Right. Yeah. I know. Well, it's just what you gutted it out, though, and you just, I mean, how much, I mean, are you allowed to say how much money you spent on it?

Yeah, well, I'm allowed to say it. Oh, you don't say it? No. Okay, well, you spent a lot of money on it. Yeah, you had to spend money. And those two stages weren't... You have to pay construction people. Yeah, no, I get it. Yeah, they did a great job. They fucking nailed it. Were there two stages before? people. Yeah, no, I get it. They did a great job.

They fucking nailed it. Were there two stages before? Yes. Oh, wow. They had converted it when they converted it to the movie theater. I think that's when they turned it into two rooms. Huh. Yeah.

I don't know how they did it, but we have the same architect, fortunately. So he knew exactly all the bones. The beams and all that stuff. Yeah, all that stuff. Where are the electricals? Yeah, so there's this thing that's happening, you know, and obviously I've been in it my whole life, you know, since I was four. Yeah.

And, you know, first of all, I'm so proud of you. Thank you. You know, I see you sometimes and we give each other hugs. I say I love you, but I don't get to say how proud I am of you. I've seen you my whole, you know, for years. And, you know, on behalf of my mom too, you know, because I know how much you love her and I know how much she means to you

and I know how far you've come. I know how far you've come because I know how far you've come. Because I remember when you first stepped at the store. And I remember seeing you in Boston. And I remember, because we're the same age and we came up at the same time. Yeah. And I'm so proud of you, dude. And when I saw you on that stage at MGM, when you worked with Chappelle, I was like, this guy's fucking funny.

You know, like really funny, dude. And I'm not just saying that because, you know, you become this, you know, this massive business and you're just this, I'm saying that

from comic to comic. I'm really proud of you. Thank you very much. Appreciate it, man. Yeah, and you're funny, dude. Well, no, for real. Because I've seen it all.

I've seen the best. Thank you very much. I see you on stage. I see Kennison. I've seen Kennison. I've seen Pryor. I've seen Eddie. I've seen all these guys at their best. And then when I saw you at MGM, I'm like, fuck, dude.

You're really in the pocket. Thank you. You're not pushing it. You know what I mean? And it's great. I've been doing a lot of sets and moving out to here, it kind of changed everything. Because first of all, I realized how important the store was.

Like I knew I was going to live out here, but having a community and having a place where you get to see people do sets all the time and you work with killers like all the time. On the road, the thing is you don't you work with killers like all the time on the road the thing is you don't really work with other people that much you work with the two people that you bring with you or one person you bring with you and you're not like in the mix with all the killers and i think that that's very critical to what we do well that's what you've done out here yeah that was that was the thing to do it was like the thing to. It was like there were so many comics that had decided to move here,

and a lot of them knew that I tried to do it at another place and it didn't work out. So that was like a big delay. That took like an extra year. It took a long-ass time. Yeah, I mean, Hans, Montgomery, David Lucas, these, you know, working with Tony and just seeing these guys grow, and now they're fucking headlining shows.

I mean, it's fucking dope. Derek Poston. You've seen Derek in Asana Mod. Those guys are killing it. They're so much tighter, and they're doing so many sets. Because we're doing two shows a night in both rooms. So there's two shows in each room a night. So they're getting all the stage time.

There's open mic nights two nights a week just like the store. I talked to Lucas at the store who works at the bar, and I'm like, dude, you got to just move out to Austin because this is happening out here. Lucas Earl? He's a funny dude. Yeah, he's very funny. And he's a nice guy and he cares. and, you know, like you just said, your guys are becoming monsters on stage and a lot of it has to do with, you know,

the platform that you gave them, you know. And I love the fact that you put the phones in the purses, you know, you put the phones in the... The underbags. Yeah, it's fucking... I think every comedy club should do that. That is a definite sense of freedom. Yeah, there's that too.

And it also keeps people from being distracted. Like people are just so addicted to their fucking phones. It makes the show better. I wanted to put this in a yonder here and it's already, it's off. I still want to fucking throw it. One of the things I've learned from doing this podcast is that it's really the only time during the day where I get to sit for a few hours and not look at my phone. I'm not always just checking my email, checking my text message, responding to the text message I haven't responded to.

Yeah, trying to keep up with email. It's overwhelming. Yeah, I just did a five-day pretty intense group therapy that I've been involved with since I was 19 years old. And deals with a lot of trauma, different things like that. And I'm actually a staff. I kind of help people out with the stuff they go through. And in return, when you help people out, you get help too. Like for instance, for me, you know, I've been doing it since I was 19. And it's a five day program. And it just helped me deal with the trauma, you know, my parents, my parents passing, and, you know, just different things that have happened personally in my life. Because, you know, I know, when I was on here,

last time I was talking about the career and this and that, and all these different things. And, you know, a lot of those things that, you know, happen to us as people and people listening aren't who we are. It's kind of, it's things that have happened to us that we become angry or become sad or we become depressed. But it's not who we are because who we are, we start off with as innocent babies. You know, we go into the world and all these fucked up things kind of happen to us.

And, you know, the stuff with my family and the world and all these fucked up things kind of happen to us and you know the the the stuff with my family and the store and my mom you know i'm not just a whatever guy i'm not donald trump you know even though probably underneath it he's probably fucked up but i don't have you know but as far as a turtle shell yeah i have this emotion i got that from my mom and my dad. And, and it's hard. You know what I mean? It's hard. But so I'm, I'm, I feel pretty good. And, and it's, it's difficult. But you know, I want to look, I want to look into the future my next 30 years. And I just want to try to be joyful. And, you know, and, and my thing is half full. You know, a lot of us in life, we always look at other people and we're always like going, you know, oh, like I can look at Adam Sandler. I can look at all these guys that are just, you know, or I can, you know, look at the fact of what I have, you know, and it's because especially, like you said, with social media, everyone compares themselves, how many people are watching, how many people like us and all that shit.

Yeah, that's so fucked up for kids because they're just constantly comparing each other's likes and who's got more followers and they're all competing against each other. And then you hear about these kids that are like YouTube stars that are 14 15 years old and they've got millions of followers like what's the youngest youtube star that has like a giant following these kids are essentially getting like the toys he's probably wasn't he like seven and he had like oh yeah that guy's that's insane maybe he's 10 now yeah he's that guy that insane. That little kid probably can't go anywhere. Imagine him trying to go to the park. All the little kids probably freak out. Where's the toys, bitch?

What'd you do with the extra toys? But what about you? I mean, you've really, like, I mean, I've seen it. Everyone has seen it. You've just really, I mean, how do people get to you? It's difficult. No, but you know what I'm saying? Like, for instance, like, you don't have a booker on this show.

Well, I do, but I don't, like, I choose. Yeah, you're the booker. Yeah, but it's not like someone, like, picks the lineup and then I go over it with them. No. So, like, for instance, like, Nicolas Cage is my next-door neighbor in Las Vegas Like he's a friend. I've known him for many years like how would he get to you if he would love to have him on? I love that guy. Yeah, he's awesome. I saw a video they did about his house in Vegas. Oh, yeah, the 60 minutes, right? Yeah Yeah, yeah, he's awesome. I love that guy. I met him once a long time ago at a boxing gym

He's awesome. I love that guy. I met him once a long time ago at a boxing gym. He was there with his son. His son was taking lessons at this boxing gym that I used to work out in Hollywood. Super nice guy. But it was a weird one. I was like, whoa, that's Nicolas Cage. Just hanging out in the boxing gym with his kid.

So how do people like that get to you to get on your show? Just like this. Like this. He texts you. You text me. Hey, what's up? Right, right. Nice to meet you. He would be great on your show. Yeah, yeah. he texts you you text me hey what's up right right that'd be nice to meet you he would be great on your show yeah yeah he'd be awesome he's a fun dude he's fucking i mean with that nicholas cage movie what was it what was it what was the act i

don't know the title but him and pedro pascal oh my god that movie's good yeah he's uh he's fantastic weight of massive talent yeah yeah so good good. Because Mark Maron I see at the store all the time, and he's always like, you know, you're Nicholas Cage, your next-door neighbor. You know, I wanted to see the podcast. And I text Nick. I'm like, yo, my friend Mark Maron wants to be on the podcast, and he didn't text me back.

So, I mean, not to dismark Miriam, I don't know, maybe he was just too busy. Maybe he went on a retreat. A retreat. Maybe he put his phone down for a week. He did one of those things. Could be. So, I think he would be great on this.

If I know any people that I think that you would like, I'll pass them to you. It's a weird thing to you know have like this sort of a show yeah but i gotta keep doing it the way i've always done it this is the way i've always done it this is when you started in the basement with red band right but we're in a uh we're on your couch right on my couch and then we moved to uh i had a spare bedroom that i'd converted into an office. So then we converted my office into the podcast studio.

So it was half my office, half of it was the podcast studio. It was like so rudimentary. It was so, dude, it was so like Wayne and Garth, you know, right? Just like in the basement. It was, you know what it was? It was the response to, I always wanted, I loved the hang of being on those morning talk shows but I knew that nobody would ever give me one and I probably wasn't good at it anyway like podcasting is like anything else I think I think you get better at it the more you do it if you

go back and listen to my early ones I was terrible just you get better at it and I think that what we missed was like the Opie and Anthony hang. You do the Opie and Anthony show, it was a bunch of comics just sitting around talking shit about things. It was so fun. So do you ever prepare for your interviews? Oh, yeah, for sure. Oh, really? Depending on who they are. Right.

So did you prepare for this? No. No. You're my friend. He's like, fuck that guy. I don't have to prepare for you. This is going to fuck. I have to prepare for things like.

Oh, like scientists and things like that. If someone's coming on to discuss something really crazy, I really have to pay attention to what the questions are that I can ask. We had Michio Kaku was on yesterday. Michio Kaku! Do you know who he is? I heard about him. He's a scientist, right?

Yes, he's a quantum physicist. He was on discussing quantum computing. I can't even open my laptop. It's so above my head. I can't even open my laptop, dude. It's so above my head. Yeah, yeah. It's so above my head. It's so hard. He's like, he's so smart.

It's like he's hanging out with toddlers. When he was 17 years old, he made a particle collider in his garage. I don't know what a particle collider is. It's miles and miles of copper tubing, and it sends something through it, and he photographed antimatter in his garage with this device when he was 17. Wow. That's a different kind of human. 17, you were hanging out at the store. 17, I was in Newton, Massachusetts, being a moron.

This guy was making a particle collider in his basement or in his garage it's crazy there's people that are just there's so much smarter than you or in in different ways right like I don't think he probably wouldn't be a great comic but there's so there's so so you had to do a little research for yeah me what's it called me to Joe Kaka michio kaku um but some even more than that like it depends on you know whatever the subject is like some some people i want to read their book first and then have them on to have questions yeah and then as far as um as far as living out here now um being in um in austin austin is very I don't want to use the word liberal,

but there's a lot of hipsters and people with skinny jeans and that stuff. Is it weird being, because I don't want to say you're red or you're not red because I don't fucking know. Most people think you're red.

Is it like you're red living in a blue city in a red state? That is, this is a blue city, but I'm not really red. That's what I don't think either. No, no. I've never voted Republican in my life. Yeah, I think that both systems suck.

And I think that what I'm pushing back against is the crazy ideologies. It has nothing to do with universal basic income. It has nothing to do with universal basic income. It has nothing to do with welfare. It has nothing to do with funding community programs and cleaning up cities. I'm all for all that stuff. I'm even for higher taxes if I believe the government was competent with your money. If it's higher taxes and it proves that we have less crime and the world's a safer place, that would be great. But that doesn't seem like they know how to do that. And what it seems like when you give a lot of money to the government, they create a lot of government jobs. And those government jobs make those people a lot of money. We looked into the homeless situation in LA. And it's my friend

Coleon Noir told me about this because he's a lawyer and he went to San Francisco. And he was in San Francisco. He was talking to somebody. He's like, why haven't they fixed the homeless thing? Is it like a funding issue? And the guy was like, no, it's the opposite. They make so much money. The people that are in charge of dealing with the home situation, some of them are making more than $200,000 a year.

Like $240,000 a year. And the homeless thing just keeps getting worse. So what do you think it is? Your opinion. It's mental health. Mental health, yeah. It's people that are addicted to drugs. There's a lot of soldiers.

Sadness. Unfortunately, there's a lot of vets that came back, and their experiences were very traumatic for them, and they never recovered. And maybe they got on drugs as well. There's a lot of people with mental illness. They need group therapy. You know, it all started during the Reagan administration, I believe. Check if this is true.

I think during the Reagan administration, they changed what they can do in terms of mental health institutes. They decided to let people out. There's certain people that just have to be cared for. They're so compromised

that in a good, just society, to be cared for you know they're so compromised that in a a good just society you would care for those people and there would be a dedicated place just like this dedicated piece place for people who have bad knees you go in to get surgery you know they don't go fucking walk it off pussy hobble around no they they have a place that's dedicated yeah no it's similar to aa right i mean aa is pretty much a place that's dedicated. No, it's similar to AA, right? I mean, AA is pretty much a place for, we all have friends that are in AA, and they go there and they have, what is it, the 10-step rules? 12. Or 12 steps.

What not to do when you physically walk in a bar. So here it is. 1981, President Ronald Reagan, who had made major efforts during his governorship to reduce funding and enlistment for California mental institutions, pushed a political effort through the U.S. Congress to repeal most of MHSA. The MHSA was considered landmark legislation in mental health care policy. So I think what happened was when that MHSA Act got passed in 1980, what happened was they just started letting people out in the

streets. When I was a boy, I remember a marked increase in homeless people in Boston when this happened. And I remember people talking about it. And they're like, Dad, they're just letting them on the street now. Like, not cake that's not caring yeah someone that's not being kind that's insane and you would see people just having screaming matches with themselves like they're clearly mentally ill and clearly not on medication just screaming at people that aren't there and fighting demons you should see it on the streets so if you were president in a serious serious because obviously you could probably run and probably win if you wanted to. I know you don't want to.

Dude, I'm not running for anything. I know, but I'm just saying if you decided and one of your arms was mental health, and that was what would you do if you were talking to say Tony Hinchcliffe was in charge of the mental health, what would you tell him to do? That's the last person I'd put in charge. He'd have them all killed. That's true. Tony Hinchcliffe would tell him, hey, guys, keep backing up.

We're going to take a picture. Maybe the edge of a fucking cliff. Tony Hinchcliffe's ruthless. So what would you say to them? It wouldn't be me, but if somebody was president, if they were going to fix this, what they would do is reinstitute something like that. Change what that was and go back not just to the old way, but even better. Go back to a way where if you have someone who's mentally compromised, you know that they could be cared for, and we would be willing to pay for that in taxes. I'm sure we would. I'm sure we would. If they knocked homelessness down to like a tiny, tiny fraction of what it is now, and our tax dollars paid for

mental health institutes, who knows if that wasn't like more profitable for the overall society? It probably would be. It would probably be more profitable if there was less break-ins, less crime, less people having overdoses in the streets, you know, less assaults, less... I mean, who knows what horrific things go on in those encampments. They basically have these, like, these chaos shantytowns in the middle of one of the biggest cities

in the greatest country in the world. And everyone's just tolerating it. But meanwhile, if you jaywalk on Sunset, they'll fucking arrest you. Or at least they they used to so so back to the aa situation because my father sammy sammy shore rest in peace he was an alcoholic so he had to drink so it wasn't like one drink and they but he had to keep going so that's what he did is he had to stop and go to AA. So do you think there's something like that for people for mental health besides AA? Because there's some people that are addicted to pills or, you know what I mean?

Well, I think, if anything, we should open up all possible options and make them legal. And that would include psychedelic therapies. Because I know personally many people who have done Ibogaine. Ibogaine is not a fun one, apparently. I haven't experienced it myself, but it's a 24-hour experience that just rips you down to the core of your being and explains to you in some strange way all the different moments in your life that have shaped you and all the different things that have become a problem. People quit cigarettes like that after they do it. They quit heroin like that. It also does something strange to remap the mind.

Can you put up, is it ibiscent? What is it? Ibogaine. Can you put that up so we can just stare at it for a sec? Ibogaine? Ibogaine, yeah. And it comes from the aboga tree. I think it's from Africa.

Is it part of the ayahuasca thing? No, it's different. It's a different type of psychedelic. And you think if you take that, or there's been studies if you take that, then you can get rid of these things? Yeah, many, many, many people have gone and sought Ibogaine therapy to get rid of pills, addiction to pills. So then if you were president, which you're not, but you would tell your guy to say, go get some Ibogaine and give it to the people in jail or something? What I would say to anybody who was going to be president, like maybe a Tulsi Gabbard, that would be something to do. If we could institute Ibogaine, if we had Ibogaine centers in this country where people could go and have these experiences, I think we could create better people.

We'd have less people that are addicted to pills. I mean, is it going to be a one-size-fits-all for everybody? No, nothing is. Therapy isn't. Psychedelics aren't. Exercise isn't. There's not a one-size-fits-all for anybody to fix your life. But if there's anything that has been shown to be very effective,

I think we should explore that. And if one of those things is illegal, that doesn't make any fucking sense. And one of those things that is illegal is Ibogaine. My mom, when she started to get sick with Parkinson's, we took her to the Bahamas. And she got fetal cells injected in her. fetal cells injected in her yeah and that was something that she was um you know she was uh very she believed very strongly that you know putting bait she was like put some baby cells in me put some feet dude it was fucking insane it was like me and bob wheeler the comedy store uh accountant over there we flew down to the bahamas because you couldn't do it here get the baby tissue i don't know dude it was we but we i remember it like it was yesterday so we drove

in a you know the the doctor my mom paid like 20 grand or 10 or 15 whatever it was and they you know within that the package deal is is the the flight the hotel and then the baby fetuses so um we went down there and um and a car picked us up it had a sign mitzi shore and uh and we went in there we went and then we drove her the next morning and we put her in a room with the doctor and they injected her with fetal cells but i personally because she had parkinson's for a while i personally think it actually helped her you know i think it prolonged you know because if you put the the the um the baby cells in there they're obviously baby cells why is that so funny it's just so fucked up to think of but that she did it a couple times they they're asked they've been shown with stem cells just uh all kinds of stem cells that um put the

baby in me what are you doing put stem cells. Put the baby in me. What are you doing? Stop fucking around. Is that what she said? Put it in me. Let's go. You know what I mean? That's your mom.

It's so funny. Oh, your mom was the best. Yeah. I tell everybody that your mom was the number one. She was so funny, dude. Number one most important person in comedy that wasn't a comedian. Yeah. Your mom, 100%.

Yeah. She was number one. So, yeah, everything lined up. Yeah. They don't use baby cells anymore. But the baby thing, well, maybe they do. What are you talking about? They're great. They really prolong my life.

That is the reason why it took so long for stem cells to get use and funding in America because the people, especially people on the right, long for stem cells to get use and funding in America because the people especially people in the right thought that stem cells had to be like aborted fetuses like we can everyone can mean they're not yeah what's going on so I remember when the really religious right-wing people were talking about that I was like oh no like this is crazy they're killing babies for

stem cells and then when I looked into it I was like oh no no, like this is crazy. They're killing babies for stem cells and then when I looked into it I was like, oh no, no, no So there's a bunch of different you get stem cells from bone marrow you get stem cells from adipose tissue from I need some From my penis. Whoa. Whoa. Hey Imagine if they figured out a way to make your dick bigger. That's what I'm saying They'd be more harder all the time just be like girls with giant tits Right, so it'd be like Guys would just completely overdo it. They'd have a useless dick.

I mean, I think it's... There'd be a lot of Instagram pictures of guys with useless dicks. Eat nothing? I mean, I think there should be something like that. I mean, what do they take? They take the fat off your butt and they put it in. Into your dick? Yeah, into your dick. I don't think you should let them do that.

Right. You know what? I did have a bladder surgery. Yeah? Yeah, I did. What happened to your bladder? I was just peeing a lot. Was it leaky or something?

No, it wasn't leaky. What happened was I would go pee at night, and then my bladder wouldn't empty. So I'd go pee, and then I'd lie back down. I'm like, fuck, I still have more pee. And I'd do that four or five times in the middle of the night. And then I finally went to my doctor, and he sent me up with a urologist at Cedars, and he was this gay dude. And imagine that a gay urologist, and this isn't a joke, this is real.

And he's like, let me see your dick. I'm like, dude, that's not fucking cool. Come on, let me see it. The fuck? And so I showed him my dick. He's like, ooh. I'm like, what the fuck? No.

So I did a procedure called resume so if you don't believe me it's you can why would I not believe you well I'm just saying because it doesn't sound doesn't sound real

it doesn't sound like you met an alien it doesn't but it's resume I said I said I go what does this do

he goes well once you do the procedure then you resume how you used to pee before you had a pee problem so you wake up in the they steam your prostate.

Steam it. They steam it. Press it. Yeah, they steam it right there. Resume procedure uses sterile water vapor, steam, that is injected into the enlarged portions of the prostate. The steam causes the prostate cells that are responsible for the enlargement to die, which then leads to shrinkage of the prostate,

which in turn creates a more open urinary pathway Oh, that's interesting It was it was a pretty easy procedure science. It was a pretty easy fix. Yeah, I Don't see someone's dick gets steamed So you wake up in the morning or you wake up after the procedure it's only like a 15 minute procedure you wake up and i i had a catheter in my dick yay and then i pissed bag right here connected to it so so i said how long do i have to wear this he goes he goes for a week i'm like dude that's fucked up so for a week bro i'm like saying high five to my friend

i might even seen you with the piece back i had a piss bag yeah so do'm saying high five to my friend. I might have even seen you with the pee bag. And you had a piss bag? I had a piss bag, yeah. So do you tape it to your body? No, you do a Velcro to your leg right here. Whoa. And so I had it for a whole weekend. It was the best week of my life. Because I'd be going to dinner with friends, just pee pissing and fucking talking at the same time. And they're like, what are you doing?

I'm like, don't worry. Go on. It's a great story. It's fantastic. Oh, that's hilarious. at the same time and they're like what's so what are you doing I'm like don't worry go on this is a great story this is fantastic oh that's hilarious and then I drove from I remember driving from Las Vegas

no driving from LA to Las Vegas and it's a four hour drive I didn't have to stop once but when I got to Vegas I had a huge like piss tumor connected to my

connected to my leg because you just keep peeing and then at what point in time does it become disgusting like you're charting around fucking yeah after a week and it's like a wreck yeah after a week what's the longest you gone without changing it for real oh no you never change it i

mean dump it out oh you just every couple hours you dump it out yeah okay but then you never like walked around like four or five hours with a bag of piss No, no, no, but uh So that's what I thought you would say did that what you thought he was saying? Yeah, we got confused So you have to change the actual physical bag itself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it probably smells Yeah, but it was it worked good So if there's any your listeners that pee a lot in the middle of the night check out resume. Did you eat any asparagus? your listeners that pee a lot in the middle of the night check out resume did you eat any asparagus oh did you see my pee was green or something no no no because if asparagus makes your pee smell oh i was wondering like could you smell it through the bag that would be interesting because if like

we all went to dinner i'm like paul you have some asparagus if i knew the piss bag on and then if i just smell asparagus pee I'm like you motherfucker just sitting there peeing no would you be upset you know what that is when you smell it I think I'll probably

let everybody know I was peeing if that was going on I'm like hey guys I'm about to pee just to let you know I don't have to go anywhere yeah it was great

it's tough to sell like hey that's actually science has shown that it's actually the best way to pee because you just pee whenever you want and holding your pee is actually very bad for you really bad

So we're just gonna give this everyone just start walking around with a piss bag. Yeah, they need one for shit I think don't you think? You know me no well, but uh the dumbest thing we do for shit is just smear it with toilet paper Like once I got one of them Toilets it squirts water at your butt. Oh, wow. You never had one? No, I've seen it, but I never had one.

Paulie. Really? You gotta get one of those. There's a whole bunch of them. Wow. That's a bidet, right? Well, it's not a bidet, because it's like a toilet. It's a toilet seat bidet.

Oh, yeah, you have one in the other room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go try it out. Yeah, your guy showed me around your place. Go try it out. Your guy showed me around your place. So you got the sauna, and you got the cold plunge in the back? Uh-huh. Yeah, that, yeah. Go try it out. Yeah, your guy showed me around your place. Go try it out. Your guy showed me around your place. So you got the sauna and you got the cold plunge in the back? Uh-huh.

Yeah, that's dope. Have you done that? I've done it, yeah. I've been sauning. I mean, every time I see you talk about the cold plunge and the sauna, I'm like, yeah, that's my guy. That's what I do. Cold plunge is the best.

Both of them reset your brain so well. Yeah, I usually go to the Russian bathhouse in New York and L.A. and then also the Korean spa. I love it. Yeah, Ari loves that Russian bathhouse in New York. He's always going to those.

Yeah, it's the best. It's so good for your body. Yeah. It really is. Yeah, it's great. Yep. Wait, you living in Vegas still? No, I kept a place there,

but I moved back to L.A. Oh. Yeah, so I got... How is it? It's cool. It's all right? Everything's good? Yeah.

Everything's awesome. It's, uh, you know, I don't want to tell you where my house is. There's people listening. But, uh, no, I'm very happy there. Um, that's where I was born and raised. Yeah. So it's like, you know, I feel good there, but I like to leave. I like it here, dude.

It's fun. I fucking love it here. This is really cool here. It's fun. And what you're doing is, is, I mean, it's fine i fucking love it here this is really cool here it's fun and what you're doing is is i mean it's great thank you yeah well that was the whole i mean it worked out better than i thought it could but that was kind of the idea and i think it was kind of cool that i mean not kind of cool but i think just obviously everything is up to this guy upstairs but i think the two-year kind of building up to it got your guys better, got everyone better, working at the Vulcan and working around town.

For sure. It was this pimple that everyone was developing and developing, and then finally, boom, the mothership came, and then boom, everyone's like, boom, and now it's just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And it's this thing, yeah. Well, and also that everybody had kind of shared my sentiments about getting out. Like Tom Segura was one of the first.

Tony Hinchcliffe was one of the first. I think Tony came out first. Ron White was actually already here before the pandemic. And it was also one of the reasons why I loved it. Because he was always telling me, he's like, it's the best fucking city. You ain't got to deal with all the bullshit you deal with in Hollywood. And, you know, he would always talk so great about this town. Well, I think what you're doing for comedy is great.

I mean, you're creating this Emerald City for New York and L.A. and people to come out here. And you got all these stages, and it's great. And then also Red Band started a club too. Yeah, right down the street. That's cool. Yeah. Well, it was a club that already exists, and he bought into it as an investor.

And they have a really nice room that's like i think it's like 500 seats right down the street yeah and i think it's great because i remember coming back i'm coming to austin in the 90s when i was touring and and everyone remembers austin six street music yeah austin six street music and now it's slowly starting to be comedy is the first thing and then music is the second thing. And it's great. With that one little spot, you have the Creek in the Cave, that's on 7th. And then you have the Vulcan,

which is on 6th, and we're on 6th. And then next to the Mothership is the Sunset Strip Club. They're all in the same area. So guys are walking from club to club and doing sets in town. And guys are walking from club to club and doing sets yeah in town yeah and you guys are doing four or five sets a night sometimes especially when they're doing two shows in certain places so it's uh and then there's other rooms outside it's like people are starting their own

rooms which always happens you know like open micers it's one of the things open micers have always done like they'll get a wednesday at some place and and they start you know having people come in they work a deal with the door like really sort of you know business minded open micers have done that forever no it's great no it's great and and you you know you're the leader well I just did it because I could you know it was like one of those things was like if someone could they they should. And you can. So why aren't you? OK, well, you should. You know, I had like a talk with myself about it.

Like, God damn, do you really want to take on this? Because I would always tell people, be nice to comedy club owners because you don't want to be one. You don't want to be some person hoping that this guy shows up and he wasn't doing coke last night. And he isn't on a two-day bender, he didn't miss his flight, or he didn't sleep in, or he didn't, you know, there's so many factors dealing with your livelihood if you're a club owner. And then, you know, you have people get too drunk,

they're crazy, they do this, they do that, they wreck their hotel room. And, you know, you're constantly, like, putting out fires. I'm like, if you can make a harmonious relationship with a club owner, do it. Try to be as nice to them as possible. You work together. You don't want to be them. You don't want to open a comedy club. It's too much work. But now I wound up doing it. Yeah. So what's it like being an owner? You're a hundred percent owner. Yeah. So what's it like? Well, it's easy because the people that are running it are great. If it wasn't for Curtis and Adam and Eric and Jody and all the people,

and Kerry, the people that we knew from the store, if it wasn't for them, they wouldn't be able to work like this. They have such a long experience in running clubs. That helps a lot. That's a big, big factor. For comics that are listening that want to get in at your club, what's the process? Yeah, I'm not going to put that out there.

They can figure it out. They have to figure it out. The best way to do it is go to open mic nights. If you're just starting out or Adam Egott is the talent coordinator. If you're an established comedian, reach out to him. But he's been reaching out to everybody anyway. It's nice. It's been very smooth from the opening jump.

And then mostly the small room is the developmental room? Not always. Developmental. No, Chappelle did that room. He broke it in the first night. It's a fun room to do sets because it's very intimate because it's 120 seats. No, I love that room. That was a great room.

Yeah. Tonight I'm doing your other room. And I did Kill Tony last night, and that was great. So tonight's the first night that I'm going to do room and I haven't I did kill Tony last night and that was great So tonight's the first night that I'm gonna do a spot here. You'll love it. You're bigger room. Yeah, you love it The sounds amazing. It's just it's all it just we really spent a lot of time Making sure that everything was dialed in and also I brought in Louis CK who helped a lot Louis CK had me change a couple things about the small room had, had me make the stage smaller and lower the ceiling even more. The ceiling was already low.

It's like, can you lower it more? I was like, I think we can. Can we lower it more? And then there was like all these discussions. So it actually delayed the opening by a few weeks from his suggestions, but they were all awesome. They were all perfect suggestions. And then everybody else suggested things too.

Tony had some suggestions. David Lucas had some suggestions. Comics have been coming to visit this for the last year and a half. We've been talking. Do you think we should do this? It's like one of those things. So I get everybody together

and I'm like, okay, should we have screens where you could watch the comics in the green room? Yeah. Okay, what about if we have a clock over the screen? Everybody has a different idea. Okay, what about if we had stars? I think screen? Everybody has a different idea. Okay, what about if we had stars? I think it might have been Brian Simpson that had that idea.

Because the star, like the light in the OR, we have a blue light and a green light. So we have the blue one for the big room and a green one for the little room. And they go off. When it goes off in that room, they go off also inside the green room. So you could be sitting there and go, oh, he's got the light. And you see it and you just walk right on stage. And then when the customer walks in, explain. I know we've seen the video, but they walk in.

They go upstairs. The bigger room is on the second floor and then the smaller room is on the third floor. Is that? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. Yeah third floor? Is that? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. Yeah. And then.

It's horrible. I don't even think of it as having that many floors, but I guess it does. And then also I know when I was backstage with you and we were kicking it, you looked at your curtains and you said, oh, we got to change the curtain in the bigger room so it looks like the smaller curtain. Yeah, the smaller room curtain is a better curtain. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird to be just thinking about those things.

Yeah, so should we tell Curtisis to do that oh you already did it yeah it should be this week it should be put up holy shit yeah so it's gonna match yeah it'll be better i was gonna i was gonna ask you i've been doing a um for the last couple years i've been doing a one-man show about my childhood yeah and it's uh kind of like my version of undisputed truth which is the mike tyson play oh nice so it's kind of like my version of Undisputed Truth which is the Mike Tyson play oh nice so it's called Stick with the Dancing so it's called Stick with the Dancing because that's what my mom said to me after she saw me perform for the first time that's hilarious so because I performed why don't you come out and do a weekend that's why I wanted to talk to you

do you have screens on screens yeah we have on the bigger, okay. Yeah, so if I perform there's things yeah Yeah, we have a projector in the ceiling and it comes down guy can oh great. Yeah, I want to do that It'll take a little extra coordination with whoever's doing it so they know what the files are and you can go over them with him But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a pretty cool. It's a pretty cool show and Yeah, wait to see it. Yeah, it's fun fun dude you you got babysitted by sam kinnison it's one of the funniest fucking stories of all time like what a crazy thing your mom did it was she left you as a little child was one of the most maniacal comedians that's ever existed well it wasn't it wasn't exactly like that it was more it was more like sam was i was 14 years old

i was a shorter to cook at the Comedy Store in Westwood. My mom would put Sam on last because all he would do is scream. And then he would literally, you know, there'd be six people left in the room in Westwood and he'd throw the stools. He'd throw his stool at the audience members. They'd scamper off. He'd smoke weed in the parking lot. And then he would, you know, I'd feed him hamburgers. So I kind of just just i was always taking

care of comedians what year was this this was uh probably 84 84 85 i was in high school he hit in 86 yes and he really hit yeah yeah so did i ever tell you my story how i found out about him it's probably boston with parento or something no a girl that I worked with at the Boston Athletic Club. Still to this day, I can't remember her fucking name. She was really cool, though. She was this big volleyball player girl, like big athletic girl. And she goes to me, she goes, have you seen Sam Kennison, whatever his name was? I go, no, I haven't.

And so she acts out in the parking lot the whole bit about him. The Ethiopia or something. No, no, no. The homosexual necrophiliacs. Oh, God. Yeah. She acted it out in the parking lot. She's like, oh, oh, life keeps fucking me in the ass even after you're dead.

It never ends. Me laughing at her acting it out in the parking lot made me go get the VHS tape So I got a VHS tape of his his HBO special and I was like, holy shit So I found out about it from a girl acting out the bit. She's on her stomach in the parking lot going Oh, oh Feels like something's in my ass. You can't you can't believe it. That angle was genius. It's such a fucking genius. Hilarious bit. Genius point of view.

That night, that was 1987, and that was at the Roxy on Sunset. And my mom had an after party for him at the house. Wow. At the Doheny house. So that night, afterwards, Sam came to the house with everyone. And I was so excited because i wanted to show my my saltwater fish tank because as a kid i had a saltwater fish tank and i brought him up to my room and i said sam look at my tank and he wasn't impressed at all he's like but he told me

to take the top off the saltwater fish tank was a big black top and i took it down he dumped all this coke on it and he started chopping up lines and he says have fun and me and my friend Dave we snorted Sam's coke that night

oh my god and I felt like so cool I felt like no for real I was like fuck this guy you know

and then I just followed him around so as far as him him babysitting me it was it was so that was just the way everyone

described it yeah I mean Lois Bromfield babysitted me Jackson Perd him babysitting me, it was no. So that was just the way it was described. Yeah. I mean, Lois Bromfield babysitting me. Jackson Perdue babysat me. So you were essentially. Mike Binder, Argus Hamilton, all those guys. So you were essentially just like his young protege. Yeah. It was like the Michael Jordan commercial.

Like, you know, the kid wanted to be like Mike. I wanted to be like Sam. Right. So, yeah. Look at you. Yeah. What year is that? I was probably 11. Sam. Right. So, yeah. Look at you. Yeah, so. What year is that? I was probably 11.

Wow. I was probably 11. What a fucking crazy place to grow up. Yeah, back then. Oh, my God. Yeah, back then. I mean, back then. I mean, there's so many stories, dude.

I mean, I'm there now, and it's great, obviously. It's the store. But when mom was there, it was just like you never know what the fuck was going to happen. You never knew who was going to pull in the fucking lot. You never knew who was going to come up. It was like someone shooting guns. Not literally, but just as far as the energy. Boom, boom, boom.

I mean, Eddie Murphy used to show up with like six Rolls Royces. Like for real, dude. And then Richard would show up and you know and all these guys would just roll this is this is around when you got there it was kind of towards right you got there 94 94 yeah I saw that before when I got there yeah I saw the um the calendar you had for my mom where she put your name I thought that was really cool yeah it's very cool yeah so um yeah so that was that was that time. You know, I'm really proud of this Argus.

Look at this right here. This Argus, yeah. What is that? What year is that? That was last year. No, I'm just kidding. Pauly Shore bringing up Eddie Murphy. Yeah.

When did Eddie retire? So he retired in what year? He stopped doing stand-up when? I don't know. It was a while ago. I was at his house probably five years ago, and I was just dude what are you doing like you're fucking you're the best dude like let's go he's like literally the best i think he should come out here and do it he'd be great because you put the phones in the in the pouches he could do that anywhere if you wanted to yeah

i think the hard part would be like doing it just getting going i think if he did it once then he'd want to do it all the time you know but it's like you get locked up in that movie world but he's also in case in his house that's the same thing with dr dre dr dre um he would be great on the show i'd love to have him on okay jay what's up i'm gonna put you on his show so we could text him right now so i've known when my mom died he was he was he was uh one of like the two or three people that really reached out to me. Because he knew how close I was with my mom. Yeah. He sent me flowers.

It was really beautiful. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, it was great. That's very cool. But I went to his house. You know, these guys are so big and so wealthy. They enclose themselves. Right.

So I saw him at, I reconnected with him at Dave Chappelle's show at the Hollywood Bowl. And he's like, yo, hit me up, da-da-da-da-da. I hit him up. I go to his house, and it's like fucking El Chapo, bro. It's like, you know what I mean? It's like he's, I don't want to reveal all this shit, but it's like, you know, it's pretty heavy.

But I go in there, he's the same fucking guy that he was you know 20 30 years ago of course most people are they just they do deteriorate psychologically though in isolation yeah he says yo man you want to see me you come here so it was pretty cool that's also a nice thing about having this club that i'm hanging around with comics all the time you know yeah it's. It's just, you're not isolated. And as a comic, one of the things that does happen when you tour, we're talking about, you bring an opening act, you maybe hang out with them, and that's it. That's the whole weekend.

It's kind of isolating. And if you're not with that person, then you go and you use local opening acts. I mean, maybe it's great and you meet a great friend, that's how I met Segura. Or maybe it's terrible and you meet a great friend. That's how I met Segura. Or maybe it's terrible and you have a shitty weekend with people you don't like. So what do you think of these guys? I mean, I'm a fan of you, of Tom, of Bert, and all these guys.

Do you ever pinch yourself and see what you've really— I'm not saying you're the holier-than-thou person that did this. Their talent speaks for themselves. But you have a lot to do with these guys' careers. Well, they have a lot to do with mine too, though. That's part of the appeal of this show. Part of the appeal of this show is having those guys on is great for me too. It's great for everybody.

But I'm just saying, because again, I've seen it. I've seen the slow build. Yeah, but they're huge because they're great. That's what it is. You have to do the work and put it in. It's like everybody should have a chance to do it. Giving someone a chance to excel, you shouldn't get any credit for that. The people that excel, they get the credit.

What they're doing is what's exceptional, and they put in the work. Guys like Bert put in the work. He's selling out fucking arenas I know it's insane It's insane, but he puts the work in you know one can deny that man. He is the machine It's the fucking machine bro. Yeah, I mean he just keeps a selfless promoter. He's always making these great videos He's always like fucking full-on rah-rah Bert was big gut hanging out. He's a wild man He's killing it and his new movies hilarious. Yeah, this machine movies gonna crush it. He's a wild man. He's killing it. And his new movie's hilarious. Yeah. This machine movie's gonna crush it.

It's gonna crush it. It's fun. I watched one of the previews that he showed us. Yeah, it's great. Did he show us other things other than the previews? No, right? Have you seen my movie, Guesthouse? I have not.

It's on Netflix. Eric Griffin's in it, Bobby Lee's in it, Steve-O's in it. When was this? Like a couple years ago. Oh, no shit. During the pandemic, you guys made a movie? No, right before, but it came out in the pandemic.

Oh, that's good. It's on Netflix. It's great. Okay, that's great. To have something come out when everybody's definitely watching TV. Yeah, it did well. It's called Guest House. I play a guy that lives in the guest house that won't leave.

So it's R-rated. It's the first R-rated comedy I've ever done. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, it was cool. It's pretty raunchy. I'll check it out. Yeah, it's cool.

I think you'll like it. It's amazing the shows that popped off. Like, do you think Tiger King would have become as big? Absolutely not. Right? No way. It's like a timing of the universe. It's like perfect door opened. Yeah. Where everybody's at home, and then everybody's like kind of freaking out. What better way to stop freaking out to look at some people that are way more fucked up than you Right, like you're not that guy Yeah, you know this fucking outside brace on carrying a pistol everywhere and fucking all these straight guys Yeah, this is wild. Yeah, this guy like he owns Tigers Yeah, and how about the one person that got I don't know if this person decided they're a boy or girl Did they change genders?

Whatever whatever person got their fucking arm bitten off by a tiger yes instead of going through a bunch of operations they said no that was this boy yeah i don't want to go through five operations just take this fucking arm off yeah bro yeah i know what the fuck man i mean and then goes right back to working with tigers. Look, tiger in he, she, they, them's lap. What do you think about the whole, I don't want to say the word. By the way, free Joe Exotic. Free Joe Exotic.

Free Joe Exotic. Let's go do your mobile podcast from Joe wish i wish you could give him a day off so what do you think about the whole i don't want to use the word trajectory because that's not a real word trajectory trajectory thank you of what of just from the the last 30 years of the entertainment business you know how it started off with you, TV, and then real world came, and then what was it, Amazing Race, and all these things, and then all of a sudden the internet came, and now everyone's got their own show. Yeah.

And then when you watch a movie with great actors like Pacino or whoever you think is great, you're staring at your phone, you're looking at your, like, what do you think about that? Because growing up, I never thought that this would ever happen i thought everything was always going to be like the 70s 80s 90s early 2000s i mean you talk about when i was your age this is really a big shift yeah everyone's famous now what do you think about that well it's a big shift but the they're still making movies they're still making movies. They're still making television shows. Matt Damon made a video where he was explaining why people aren't making movies anymore,

why they're not making good, and how hard it is to make a movie now. And he explained it as a person who's on the inside. And it's much more daunting than I thought. And then there's the television show thing. There's a lot of television shows now, right? There's television shows that are on Netflix and television shows that are on regular networks, but reality shows are very cheap, very easy, and very compelling.

And they found that out through Fear Factor and through Survivor and through all those other shows. That kind of shifted the landscape away from the sitcom. And the sitcom was our holy grail, when we first came to hollywood not when you did but what my generation came to hollywood in like 94 when we came out here everybody wanted a sitcom you know i mean i remember when you had your sitcom on fox i remember i came out to the premiere oh wow it was it was like holy, you got a show.

Like, that was it. That's what everybody wanted. Everybody wanted the golden, that was the golden hurdle. That was her rhythm. That was her rhythm, yeah. Well, that was the times. That was what it was back then. Nowadays, if you're trying to get a sitcom, other than Miss Pat, who's pulled it off,

Miss Pat's show is fucking hilarious. It's really good, dude. But it's on BET+. It's not on a network so she can swear she could say whatever the fuck she wants that shows really good but other than that how many comics do you know that have a sitcom a multi-cam sitcom you know Whitney had one for a while a lot of people had them Tom Rhodes had a show back when I was on news radio. He had a show There was a lot of fucking people at shows but now now

No, Greg Giraldo had a show. He was right next to us. We were filming fear factors or filming news radio as well It's the same thing with the talk show format as well. Everyone's got a talk show I mean not everyone's got a talk show, but there's the three talk shows but then there's guys like you that Trump the talk show well the prop they're just playing with an outdated system so they're involved in a system that has to stop every few minutes for commercials it only airs at a specific time meaning you have to be there to watch it or you have to set your DVR to watch it later. It takes a lot of additional steps.

There's a lot going on that makes those things unappealing. The other thing is a person goes on, they only talk for five minutes. If you're a person that wants to explain something very complicated, like the Younger Dryas impact theory, or like if Bob Lazar wants to go on a show and talk about how he was hired by the government to back engineer flying saucers that's not a five clip on on Jimmy Kimmel right you're not gonna be able to do it it's literally they're they're completely handicapped by the system that they operate in you can't do it when I saw Tom Green's show he had this show that he did in his house that he set up like a talk show set in his house.

And he had all these cables that ran from the talk show set up to a server room. Like he had like his house had been converted into a television studio. So this is amazing. It was in 2007. And that was when I was like, okay, that's probably the way to do it. This talk show way, they're never going to give me one of those things. If they do, I'll fuck it up. I'll say something stupid.

So when you saw Tom Green's show, that's when you and Red Band sat on the couch. Well, we did it a couple of years later. We started doing things like we would do videos that we would do after shows or during. Hook a brother up, please. Yeah, we want some coffee, sir. Hook a brother up please coffee sir pick a brother up do we're just hanging out we're having coffee yeah we're chilling brother yeah Cheers Cheers but so we started doing that like 2007 or eight we started doing like green room shows with a webcam yeah just fucking around

yeah and then in 2009 we started doing a podcast yeah and just fucking around yeah because when i when when you and i talked and we talked about me coming on on your show here i was so excited it was the same enthusiasm i got when i used to get letterman because i was on letterman a lot and his show i felt like it was a big deal it was cool so you're you're a big deal now with this i mean it's pretty fucking cool so because your show is it trumps colbert it trumps jimmy fallon and it jumps jimmy kimmel trumps jimmy kimmel show meaning it's a bigger deal for a guest to book oh i'm on fucking joe rogan why are you laughing what the fuck dude come on you know it's it's it's a it's a big deal.

So I got super excited when I was going to be on this like I did back in the day when I got on Letterman. Because I was so excited to get on Letterman. I was excited to come see you. Well, I'm excited to have you here. You're a good dude, Paulie. You really are. You're a very nice guy. Remember when we did that show at the MGM and afterwards we hung out and talked?

It's like, you're a good dude, man. You know? I've known you a long time. It's nice to see. It's nice to see you happy. we did that show at the MGM and afterwards we hung out and talked it's like you're a good dude man you know I've known you a long time it's nice to see it's nice to see you happy and it was really like I said it was really nice

to see you killing on stage because you were having fun you were so loose we were all howling there was a bunch of comics in the back laughing and that reminded me of the old days

it reminded me of the OR like when Joey Diaz would go on stage we'd all sit in the back yeah Mooney yes when Mooney would go on we'd all sit in the back. Yeah. Mooney. Yes, when Mooney would go on, we'd all sit down. Oh, my God.

Everyone would sit down. I threw everyone under the bus that show. You threw everyone under the bus? You know, Nick. I was having fun with some of your local people here. Oh, oh, oh. I was just fucking around with people. Oh, yeah.

No, that was funny. Nick from the Vulcan. Yes, Nick from the Vulcan. Yeah, he's a sweetheart. He's a sweetheart. Yeah. Yeah, that environment of the Vulcan. Yes, Nick from the Vulcan. Yeah, he's a sweetheart. He's a sweetheart. Yeah. Yeah, that environment of the back booth, you know, of sitting in the backseat of the company.

You would walk in. You always look. Who's there? Eric Griffin. What's up? It was always like people sitting there. That's how Holtzman is now when I see him. Yeah. Yeah, I saw him a couple weeks ago.

He was really fucking nuts. Oh, he's out of his mind. Yeah. He's so funny, though. He's always got the absolute wrong take on whatever the fuck's out of his mind. Yeah. He's so funny, though. He's always got the absolute wrong take on whatever the fuck has happened in the news. Yeah. In the most brutal way possible.

Everyone goes left, he goes right. He goes hard. Yeah. He goes hard. Remember when Susan Smith drowned her kids? Oh, yeah. He was on stage like a day later. I heard those were bad kids.

Yeah. I heard they sat that close to the TV. They never put away their blocks. They always spilled their milk. Those kids those were bad kids. I heard they sat that close to the TV. They never put away their blocks. They always spilt their milk. Those kids will not be missed. It was just so crazy watching them do that. We were howling. Holtzman's a funny motherfucker.

He's a funny motherfucker. I was wearing my Brody shirt today. I got a Brody positive push shirt. He was a funny motherfucker, man. He was a fun guy to watch the end of the night you know there's something there's a special moment that i only experience at the store and that moment is the when the show is old and someone kills the store gives you this thing where you get a chance to see when the show is old and someone goes up and kills. When it's just like maybe there's 25 people left and it's late at night and someone just goes up and is coming in hot.

And they're killing for 25, 30 people. Rick Ingram has done really well too. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm really proud of him. Yeah, he's opening up for Chris Rock. Yep. Yeah, it's amazing. That's how Chris found him. At the store? Yeah, he him. Yeah. He's opening up for Chris Rock. Yup. Yeah. It's amazing. That's how Chris found him.

At the store? Yeah. He just saw him. He's like, fuck, let's roll. That's great. And he went out there and then he took pictures with Paul McCartney.

Wow. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. Yeah. So, um, yeah. So.

Yeah. If you, I mean, think about all the comics that have come from that place that your mother built. What an amazing thing. I mean, so many comics over so long. So long. You know, it's like so many years.

Yeah, Don Barris is doing great over there, too. He does this ding-dong show. Nice. Yeah, he's cool. The thing about places like the store, too, is that it used to be CROs. It used to be another nightclub. It used to have, like, Jerry Martin or Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis perform there and, you know, all these celebrities. Like, there's experiences baked into the walls of that place.

Do you know how the whole store started, right? Yeah. You know, with my father and stuff? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, do you know a lot about my father? Not too much. Yeah. My father was never my father and stuff. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, do you know a lot about my father? Not too much. Yeah.

My father was- He was never around when I was around. Yeah, but I'm talking about, he wasn't, I mean, no one was around when he was around. I mean, he was never around when I was there. Yeah. No, he, well, he, he, no, meaning he started it, you know, he, he started it, he started it with his partner, Rudy DeLuca, and they got the room and they developed it, and my mom got the store.

But my dad, a lot of people don't know who he is and what he's about. If it wasn't for my father, no disrespect to my mother, but there wouldn't have been a comedy store. She might have found her way somewhere else, but he's the reason why they moved out to California so he's the reason because of his career so he was he was my dad was guest starring on Sanford and Son Sanford and Son he played brother Sam he did a movie episodes did he do that a couple I mean if you go on there you

could see Sammy shorts that's all red fox red fox i did that show i used to watch that show oh it was the best show it was the best show red fox oh my god yeah there he is that's my father that's amazing so i call my i call my dad i call my father like he's uh he took one for the team meaning him and my mom never wanted to be together. So my mom got pregnant and had Scott, my oldest brother. And this was an accident and they got married and she didn't want to be with him and he didn't want to be with her, but he just sucked it up.

And he was in this relationship with this woman, my mother, that he never really wanted to be in. So he started doing, he started, you know, acting and doing all that. And then he got, he started doing he started you know acting and doing all that and then he got you know he you know he was opening for Elvis he was opening for you know Sammy Davis he was opening for you know all these great comedians and uh or all these great entertainers and he started it you know he started the beginning of it you know wow and it was in the original just the original room yeah how many it only seed seeded less people back then though right yeah it was like 94 people i think i think

it was like that and they moved the wall yeah but yeah my dad my dad you know he he uh he took one for the team you know for us isn't it amazing if he didn't do that if he didn't do that and didn't give the reins to your mother correct who knows what the comedy world would look like i mean who knows if a guy like kinnison ever gets off the ground correct you know what i mean like you need a place like that where it's a real artist workshop i mean that's a highfalutin term well but that's really what it is well that's what my mom was that's that's why my mom had this natural instinct to develop comedians because it was in her veins so what would happen was is my dad would that's where my mom met my dad is when he was performing in Elkhart Lake Wisconsin so my dad was the comedian for a month in Elkhart Lake Wisconsin it was a touring. And my mom started dating my father and she got pregnant

and then he took off. And, you know, that's when that whole, you know, when the whole thing where they're going to have the kid. And what happened is my mom would type up my dad's jokes in the back would type up the jokes. This is funny. That's not funny. Try this. That's not good. And then give him pointers. So when my dad was always really nervous performing in front of my mom. So for instance, my dad got a shot on Ed Sullivan's show. That was a big deal for him after Barbra Streisand. So it was this big shot.

My mom was like, he fucking blew it. You know, he's nervous. He fucked it up. And it just made him more, you know, this was part of the reason why I became an alcoholic. Wow. Was, you know, being nervous trying to make it. He would always kind of like, in her eyes, you know, and if you Google my father, Ed Sullivan's show, Sammy Shore, you could see photos of him.

But that was a big shot for him. Wow. And my mom says that he blew it. It's not happening. Do you ever watch the clip? Yeah, I have. How is this set? I don't think he blew it. It's not happening. Do you ever watch the clip? Yeah, I have. I don't think he blew it. I think he did all right.

Look at this. Ed Sullivan. Yeah, he was on there with the stones. Look at Mick Jagger. Look how amazing that looks. Give me some volume on that. I mean, Jesus. This is the 60s, dude.

This was a big deal look at their faces listen to the girl screaming does anybody get that kind of reaction today they're just shrieking constantly so my dad my dad was very much like me.

He just wanted to be a free spirit, just wanted to be on the road. But he got her pregnant, and you can't really— I guess you can. I guess you can perform and be dishonest in a relationship because he was he wasn't faithful to my mom you know he had a crooked dick you know shit like that

and she would you know and it was tough for me growing up because I you know I love my father and he was a great dad but my mom would always kind of like rip into him ripping into him though like that characteristic that she had made everyone better she was so good at like pointing out what was wrong with your act

and you know that natural a natural so good natural and when yeah i mean it was it was hard for me dude like we didn't when i first started doing stand-up it wasn't easy i'm sure it was fucking like i'm sure i mean i had to make. I mean, I had to make it quick. Right, right, right. Yeah, I had to make it quick. Right. Because I started when I was 17, 18, or, you know, 17. And what year was Totally Pauly?

How old were you then? That was early 20s. Wow. That time between high school, between MTV, was like this. It was quick. I had to like, you know, I mean, she kicked me out of the house. I moved down the street.

I was like, fuck you. It was that type of shit. I mean, it got really bad. Of course. Yeah, it got really bad. Get out of here. You know what I mean? It was when I was hanging out with Sam.

I don't want you to hang out with Sam anymore. He's an alcoholic. He's a cokehead. And I was like, mom, I'm was hanging out with Sam. I don't want you to hang out with Sam anymore He's a alcoholic. He's a cokehead And I was like mom. I'm not hanging out with Sam because he's that I'm hanging out because he's a great comic She goes you don't understand and she's a get out of my house and she threw her keys at me and it turned into This whole thing. What was it like in Westwood in the early days like you were there in 84 Like what was that club like like what what was the scene like there so the westwood comedy store because that's where they developed right yes yeah it was kind of like the uh let's call it the red band room no i'm just kidding no it was uh um it was

um the westwood boulevard is here and then you got wilshire, and then you got Olympic. You know that? Mm-hmm. So the Westwood Comedy Store was in between. It wasn't in Westwood Village. It was in between Wilshire and Olympic. And right next door was an arcade. So there was this big arcade, and then there was the Westwood Club. So on the stage, you had Dave Tyree.

You had Andrew Dice Clay, Roseanne. You had Arsenio, Sam, Carl LeBeau, and Dave Tyree you had Andrew Dice Clay Roseanne you had Arsenio Sam Carl LeBeau and Dave Tyree Dave Tyree remember Dave Tyree yeah he was funny dude

yeah he was Dave Tyree was really funny I remember one time he went on that stage he was all coked out and drunk and he goes I don't know what you people

are looking at me for and he just fucking he just ate shit off the stage but that's how it was back then. Oh, my God. Like, I want to see people fall at the mothership. You know what I mean?

They probably will. Yeah. But, yeah, so Westwood. Back then, it was like the whole culture was just hard partying, right? Yeah, but she developed. She had a whole system. I mean, her whole system was, you know, it was if she liked you, you know, she would work the door, and then she would go work Westwood.

And Alan Stevens used to, he used to, remember Alan Stevens? Yeah, he used to take me from the Westwood comedy sort of Sunset. And he was always coked out. So he would do lines of coke and then take his renegade black Jeep down Sunset and then he would drop me off and I'd be there. My mom would come out of the store into her black Jag and Argus would be chasing her. Wow. Yeah.

And she'd get off of me, Argus. Leave me alone. I want to go home by myself. Leave me alone. You know what I mean? Like that type of shit. And then I got in the car and then me and my mom would drive her car. And it's like two in the morning down sunset.

And we'd drive by the whiskey and Black Flag was playing there. And then all the punkers would spit on my car my mom's car because we were rich or whatever they'd be like get out of here and then we would drive by the uh the rainbow and all the heavy metal guys would be in the street yeah and then we'd go up and then argus would be pounding on the door mitzi i'm here i had to call the cops i had to call the cops on argus is that when argus was in his drug days I had to call the cops. I had to call the cops on Argus.

Is that when Argus was in his drug days? Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah. He was a wild man. Yeah, I had to call the cops on him. That's hilarious. That Rainbow Bar and Grill is such a strange place.

I've only been there a couple of times, but it's like, Jesus, there's a guy from this band. There's a guy from that band. There's guys from Dokken. It's a weird, like, hangout. Yeah, it was. Again it's again it was like I think it was like kind of the comedy store

for you know heavy metal bands you know where Guns N' Roses would go Motley Crue and you know and everybody knew

that they would go there yeah and it was a big deal yeah it was a big deal and there was different rooms and you can walk up there is it still like that now?

no I mean it's there but I mean I haven't been there in a couple years. The other place that's like that is, well, not like that, but a cool hang is Dantana's. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's the best food.

That place has been around forever. Fuck. Great food. When you're in that, it's like you're in a time capsule to a great restaurant from the early 80s. Yeah. It's really good. Yeah, the best is 80s. Yeah. It's really good. Yeah, the best is the chicken parmesan and then- Everything's great there.

Their steaks are fantastic. Yeah. We got to go next time. Linguine with clams is amazing. It's a really good restaurant. And it's a fun hang too. There's always a bunch of drunks at the bar. It's like a lot of people go there just to hang out.

It's not just like go there to dinner. They go there to hang out too. Kip Adada used to go there before he passed. I used to see him up there a lot i didn't even know he passed when did he pass um i don't know it's a couple years back but yeah westwood so westwood westwood was a it was a great place what year did she open that place argus knows the exact dates but i think it was um i think the late 70s something like that the late 70s what year did kinnison get there 84 so so you were there when he got that's which is so crazy that two years later he's doing his hbo special yeah he was i mean dude this fucking guy i mean when he when I mean, his whole thing was the Letterman spot, the Rodney Dangerfield spot.

And like he did those six minutes on Rodney or whatever it was, sold out 3,000 seats. And then he did, you know, and then he did the next Rodney Young Comedian special, sold out, you know, 8,000, you know. And I got to go, I got to open for him which was sick that's amazing yeah we did the uh his second hbo special was that i was at the wiltern and ice tea was there and this is when sam was really fucked up so if you if you look at the special you're like fuck this guy's all coked out and he's like not doing well and this when he came out with the chains with this yeah Malika and Sabrina he's like oh and he's playing the music and iced tea was in the audience yeah and he was like you know Sam was doing some racist shit yeah and it was yeah he was he was wild well Sam had the jiver

read his brother bill his book yeah brother Sam yeah looks called brother Sam that he talks about the slide like that when he started partying all the time he stopped writing he wasn't performing as much and he just kind of lost it you could tell in the work if you go and watch his early stuff yeah it drops off a lot yeah which sucks because you know you'd like to see them just keep getting better you know if he was if he could somehow or another have stayed alive and kicked his addictions and just got better yeah but sometimes what brings you to the dance also sinks you you know well he he him and i him and well he introduced me to my business manager so i have the same business

manager that i've had for 25 years his name is l Lester. Hey, Lester. What's up, Lester? Shout out to Lester. And Sam, when he was all fucked up and coked out and all that, he had fired everyone in his life except for Lester. So Lester was always with him. And he said to me, or Sam said to Lester, take care of him. He's like my younger brother. So ever since then, Lester's been taking care of me. Wow, that's nice.

Yeah, so Sam, you know, he was, to me, Sam was like Elvis, kind of. He was fucked up, but he had the biggest heart in the world. So he would come to my mom's house. He would always bring presents. You know, he's always bring presents. That's cool.

Yeah, he was, you know. Seeing the look on your face when you were in our bar, seeing the picture of your mom, the neon sign, that was very cool. It was very cool to be with you, like right next to you the moment you saw it. Yeah, no, it was, you know, like I said, from when we first started talking here, I was saying, I'm saying that speaking on my mom's behalf, I know her and I know what you're doing with her and how much you care about her and how much you love her and what she's done. I know she's really proud of you. She's really proud of you and she's very proud of what you've done here and very proud of the bar and her spirit is in the bar for sure her spirit's in that whole building yeah

you know um i mean we're all disciples yeah we're all disciples of your mom yeah i took care of her you know that last 15 years every time i'd see you every time i'd see you i always wanted at the store you know i never wanted to bother you i was always like i wanted to always bring you to my mom you know and um but i i think maybe we talked about it and you're like yo i'm good i don't want to see her like that at the end isn't that what you said to me once i think at the end, it was so bad. It was just like, it was just so heavy. Imagine me taking care of her for those years. I mean, imagine me going in to see her and she's in the chair, you know, and she's, you know, and I always made it a point to drive her. And I always made it a point to drive her. I always made it a point.

Me and my mom's caregiver, Scott, we'd always put her in the car and drive her. And we'd always take her for drives until her back started hurting. And she'd be like, get me home. But I'd always drive her by the Laugh Factory. It's hilarious. What the fuck is he working there for? The fuck? You know what I mean? And then we'd drive by the store.

And then she'd be like, why is that marquee like that? Call Tommy. You know what I mean? Type shit. I mean, Tommy, I mean, whatever he did, he did. But he took care of her, dude. He fucking, he did shit that a normal employee would not do. Yeah, for sure.

Not do. He would carry her up the stairs. You know what I mean? And she wanted him to. You know? She wanted him to. And she felt comfortable with him. You know?

Whether good, bad, it's not us to say. That's how she felt. Yeah. And, yeah, you know, during those, you know, she didn't want to get sick. It started, you know, it started her. My friend Bobby was with her in the front of the store back in the early 2000s. And she's smoking her Capri cigarettes. And she starts seeing her finger go like that.

And she goes, what's going on? That was in the early 2000s? Yeah, that's when she started getting sick. she goes what's going on why is that was in the early 2000s yeah that's when she started getting sick yeah what's going on and that's when she shifted her her mind away from the store and she didn't want to get sick you know she just she didn't want to die at all and um she did the best she could with um you know whatever you know she got i think a lot of it had to do with the business because she was an artist running a business. Let me say that again. She was an artist running a business.

So she wasn't a real, I don't want to say the business sense wasn't really her thing. She was about the comics. And it's hard to do both with the numbers and the insurance and the taxes and all that shit that fucked with her. Because that's not who she was. Of course.

Because if she was that way, she would never run the club the way she did. Right. She ran it like an artist. So that's why I think she got sick. That's my feeling. Interesting. You know, that pressure, the business part of it could be i mean pressure is fucking terrible for people that kind of stress is terrible for people

yeah in so many ways heart attacks you know people freak the fuck out you know like you're not supposed to be redlined all the time you got to find some moments where you're chilled out and she did she did she did start making a lot of money and she did start buying property she bought a theater on lost palmas and sunset and she called it the richard pryor theater oh wow did you know about that yeah i'd heard about it but i've never been there yeah neither was richard no but my mom loved him so much my mom loved him so much. Yeah. My mom loved him so much that she goes, he could develop his stuff here, Pauly. This is where he can go to develop all his stuff.

And that's how much she loved Richard Pryor. She loved him so much that she, that's like you're going to buy Tony Hinchcliffe a club, right? No, I'm just kidding. Blech. And then she did the Dunes in Vegas. That was a big deal. That was a big deal. That was a big deal.

Doing the Comedy Store in Vegas was a huge deal. Huge deal. I got video of me and Chris Rock back then because she had the show called New Faces. You never did that. No. Because that was the 80s, late 80s. When I came in, I had been doing stand-up for like six years. And when I lived in boston the comedy store was

mecca it was the place that everybody talked about like you got to get to the comedy store like it was like kinnison came from there briar came from there and all anyone talked about when they talked about clubs i mean there was clubs that we were doing in boston there was clubs to do in new york but really everybody wanted to get to the Comedy Store and then when I first got there I was on a sitcom already and I you know the sitcom was not doing well was on Fox it was failing and the most important thing that happened to me was getting passed as a paid regular and the Todd helped me out the Todd sat next to your mom and was laughing really hard and then he came up to me afterwards he goes hey he goes I laughed really hard at

your jokes because you're really funny and also because it meant he's sitting next to me and you're gonna do that too to somebody else I'm like okay you got it I'm like that's great like he like there was a community there like he set it up like what the Todd did he set it up with me where i was going to do that for everybody like anytime anybody was really funny i would go and i would one time one time your mom but i don't want to say his name but your mom booked this uh comedian that was terrible to host the open mic night and chris mcguire was supposed to do uh his first audition in front of your mom and i was was like, there's no fucking way.

I'm like, I'll do it. So I hosted the open mic night just so that I could set a stage for Chris. I just wanted it to be a good show. I don't know who Chris McGuire is. He's a good friend of mine from Boston. He's a funny guy. I don't know if he does stand-up anymore. He was a very good writer.

Very funny guy. He was a very funny comic, too. We started out together. So he went on stage in front of her? He didn't do good? No, he did well. He did really well. writer. Very funny guy. He was a very funny comic, too. We started out together. So he went on stage in front of her? He didn't do good? No, he did well. He did really well. No, he got passed.

But it was like, I did the open mic hosting because I wanted to make sure it was set up good for your mom. Yeah, tee it up. Yeah, I want to tee it up. Tee it up for your homie, right? Yeah, I want to tee it up. Because if you couldn't sit next to her and laugh, you should tell her someone's funny. But if she's fucked up, though, if you told her something,

you fucking think he's funny, she would get so mad. Your mother had amazing taste, though. The funniest was I'd sit next to her as well, and I would see people go on stage, and if she called you over, you did good. And if she didn't call you over she wasn't interested and I would just they do their set and they just walk by her and they're like looking at her and she's just like

just going through her papers and shit but yeah but if she liked you you know she brought you in but having someone like that like some gold standard bear keeper at the top was very valuable for the comedians it was very valuable and she also would do when she thought you were funny she'd put you on after killers you always had to follow like whoever was famous that

was going to go down there she wanted to make sure that you were tested throw you into the fire and that's how you get better she She just fucking knew, man. She knew. And it's all things that people talk about now, but I think in her own way, she sort of devised like a modern strategy for getting better at stand-up. Having the environment, which she created,

having one person who's like ruthlessly critical that watches over everybody's material and everybody sets and then everybody aspires for the approval of your mom and she had to had it set up so perfectly and because she wasn't a comic either and because she was you know she's royalty in the stand-up comedy world she had everyone's respect so they and and she was right she knew she didn't like Seinfeld which was hilarious he lived

up the street from me and my mom so me and my mom would walk the dog, Kelly her dog and we would walk by his house you know what I mean oh there he is not happening you know rat tat tat new york keep it keep it going let's keep moving i'm like mom be nice to him he's good no let's go

and she just didn't buy into it that's so funny you know what i mean she didn't buy into it i wonder why maybe because he didn't need her. I don't know. Because he had already made it and he had a sitcom. He was Seinfeld. Oh, so he was already on Seinfeld when he auditioned for you? I mean, he'd been on that show for a while. It was around that time. It was the early 90s, right?

Yeah. I don't know what the exact date was or Seinfeld. She didn't like it when you were too developed. Correct. Yeah, she liked getting people that had talent that were on the up. She didn't really like a lot of New York comics for some reason. Interesting. There was also a rift between, obviously, her and Bud Friedman and her and Lorne Michaels.

People ask me, like, hey, when you're doing all your movies, did you ever do Saturday Night Live? Did you ever host Saturday Night Live? I never did, and I think a lot of it has ever host saturday night live and i never did and i think a lot of it has to do with lauren michaelson my mom i'm sure it can't help no can't help because she was harsh you know what i mean my mom had jim carrey and damon wayans and all these guys and they were from the store yeah and um you know so uh i wonder if your mom was concerned that if someone like Seinfeld got on, that people who would want to see sitcom-style stand-up, like very sterile stand-up, would start coming to the clubs.

And then you would start getting people going to see people just because they're famous and not really because they're good i mean she probably had a method to her approach i wonder what she was thinking or i wonder if she just didn't want it because he was already developed and she couldn't work with him i don't think she just liked him i just don't think that i just don't think she liked that style but she's driving by his house she's still talking we're walking's driving by his house. She's still talking shit. No, we're walking. Yeah, walking by the house. And then he said some shit. Rat-a-tat-tat.

He said, and that's another thing. He never asked me on his fucking car show. I got all my friends on his car show. I'm like, dude. And it's, again, I think, like, it's always awkward. And Leno, too. Whenever I see Leno, it's fucking weird. Letterman's cool.

I love Letterman. But Leno's always been weird because these guys, like, Leno striked against my mom. And there was this weird thing. My relationship with Leno is very different. He's always been very nice to me. And we both love cars. So I have great conversations with him about cars.

I don't know the history of that. I mean, I do know it, but I wasn't aware of it. But my point is that he never did anything to me. I'm just talking about my mom's relationship with Jay, and I think it has to do with the strike. But when I did see Jay at the Palm Restaurant in Beverly Hills years ago when my mom was there, he came up and gave her a kiss. But then, of course, she mumbled.

The fuck is going on with him? Tell me to get the fuck out of here. That's just the way. She was so funny, dude. She was so funny. You know what I mean? Yeah. And when your mom told you you were funny,

it was like the greatest gift that you could ever give a comic. She came up to you and put her hand on your arm. That was really funny. Yeah. She never said that to me. I had to become famous, bro, before she put me on her stage

for real dude i'm like mom can i go on stage these people are here to see me you're not ready not happening you got more and she was right yeah because i was fucking around right hey bro whoa right you know what i mean and but she i mean i've been told by comedians that she was very proud but she never said it to me that's another thing she never told me she loved me oh wow I can't say I love you because then you wouldn't be a comic

oh my god you're a science project she used to lock me in the back bedroom I can't say I love you because then you wouldn't be a comic she figured out a way to't be a comic. Wow. She figured out a way to make you a comic. I programmed him.

I used to put him in the back bedroom. He would pound his head against the crib. Jesus Christ. It's true. Imagine if that was like how a dictatorship created comedians. Like Soviet block. They decided to take over the comedy world

and they're just gonna torture kids just start open mics torture kids at a very young age I think we have a good thing here we could do it

at the mothership yeah fuck them up now you'd have to do it in a country that doesn't have the constitution right

if you're gonna do it right it's gotta be some communist dictatorship maybe China could do this Right They're probably already Russia? Yeah

Russia could do that And then Introduce them slowly To the idea of stand up comedy But beat them first And torture them right? Definitely don't make them comfortable Right

Don't beat them Did you get beaten? No See that would be too much Yeah Then you wouldn't be able To get on stage You'd be fucked up

Yeah Yeah I mean if you really think about it Like the See that would be too much. Yeah, then you wouldn't be able to get on stage. You'd be fucked up. Yeah Yeah, I mean if you really think about it like that What are the odds that someone? Becomes a stand-up comedy a stand-up comedian if you look at the 300 whatever the hell million people It is just in this country alone. Forget about all the other countries that do stand-up What are the odds that someone becomes a comic like they're not that fucking good they're pretty small i tell people i say because people come up to me i'm sure they come up to you i'm like don't do it unless it gets you out of bed don't do it as a hobby yeah you know like like i get i mean i'm 55 i've been doing it

for 35 years i love it now even more than I loved it back then. I just love it. I think when you get older, one of the things that happens is you can appreciate it more. You can appreciate what this thing is. You appreciate how lucky you are to be able to do it. It's so much fun. It makes people feel good. It really does. The whole audience has a great time. Everybody feels better. It's like a drug we all take together we're all laughing about things together yeah you know it's just my job to put it together it's your job to you know piece together your ideas in the most palatable way possible that's what we're all just doing and it's the most fun thing to do and the fact that you do that for a living of course you want to do it all the time and as you get older and you realize that

you know most people don't really get to do what they truly love to do. There's most people out there in some weird thing where they kind of like what they do, but they maybe wish they were doing something else. When you're doing stand-up, when you're on stage killing, you never think, I wish I was doing something else. You're just like, this is so much fun. So much fun. For me, and I'm sure for you, it's the place that I feel the less stressed. Yes. The least stressed.

Least stressed. You know, after you get off stage, you're like, you know, there's this, I don't know if it's dopamine. I don't know what the fuck it is, but it's a release. Yeah. Yeah. Like when my mom was dying, like those 15 years, I was touring a lot. I wasn't around the store a lot when you were there. I was on the road, and it fucking saved my life.

Big time. That's awesome. Big time. That's awesome. Yeah, it is. It's a stress reliever that we have. We're lucky. Yeah, we're very lucky.

Yeah, we're very lucky. It's just, you know, it's amazing how much it takes, like how many pieces have to be put into place to make a club work. That's why it's amazing that your mom was able to do it and sustain it for so long. There's so many moving pieces. There's so much going on, you know, and you're dealing with so many different personalities. You know, so many different crazy people that are performers.

It's interesting because when I'm there now, I look around and I see her there. Like I said, that's where she talked to Roseanne. That's where Gary Shanley was. That's where Sam walked into the bar. You know what I mean? These ghosts, you know, they're still there like I feel like her her there yeah but uh yeah she you know she left an amazing legacy for sure yeah she definitely did when you're doing stand-up now are you uh doing clubs on the road are you

touring around were you doing mostly bowling alleys no but i mean you're doing the road are you staying in la what do you mostly the road yeah yeah like i have my a nice i have a nice audience out there that after all these years you know i'm still i don't want to say shocked but i'm still appreciative that these people come in my eye. You put on a good show, man. You were funny as shit. I really enjoyed it. It was really fun.

It was fun to see. It was fun to see you loose and relaxed. Because I think when I've seen you at the store, I think because you grew up at the store, the connection you have to the store, I think there's a lot of pressure on you in not a positive way when you go on stage there. Yeah. Is that true? Yeah, well, I said that to you. I said that, yeah, because when I walk in the store,

even if I'm not performing there, it's uncomfortable. Right. Because I'm walking into my mother. Right. I'm walking into my father. I'm walking into all that history. Right. You know, and when I'm away from there, it's Pauly Shore.

It's the guy from the movies. It's the comedian guy. You know, they don't care about that. Yeah. You were silly and loose. And I was like, I think that's the first time I've ever seen him like that, which is crazy. It's all the years I've known you to see you that loose, like the first time ever. But it's like.

And that was the first time i was ever on your stage yeah so that was cool crazy so i felt really i'm you know i love that room i love both yeah yeah they're both you're gonna love the other one too but that that room is special there's something cool about it it's very unusual and so what's it like touring with chappelle i mean that must be you must be pinching yourself on that. I see you on stage with him. You must be, I mean, cause you know, and I know he's got to be the best out there. He's the best right now. He might be the best ever. I agree. I mean, his, his, his, his, uh, eight shows at the Hollywood bowl. I mean, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, those guys, George Carlin, they never sold out eight nights at the

bowl. No. And he could have done 20 more nights. He could do whatever he wants. What's it like working with him? It's a privilege. You know, you're very, very, very fortunate to have an artist of that caliber as a great friend. You know, he came to the club the first week it was opened. Maybe second week. Maybe it was the second week.

Yeah, he was there. Second week. Somewhere around there. It was like right when we were like really open, and he actually opened the little room. He was the first person on stage in that little room was Shane Gillis. Shane did 15 minutes, and he brought up Chappelle. And then Chappelle did like, man, he did over an hour.

I think he did like an hour and a half. And he was just fucking around and being loose and just working on new material. He goes, I'm here to practice on y'all yeah he just goes he just practices on people and he and he comes up with material that way he puts himself in these very vulnerable positions and he works through ideas and has someone film it and then that's how he pieces together his material yeah you know when i watch his um netflix specials you know he's got so many of them they're still fresh yeah you know when i watch his um netflix specials you know he's got so many of them they're still fresh yeah you know and and i watch other people's netflix specials because i'm open to

other comics and it's just like i can't connect yeah you know what i mean and with him like i always say people always ask me who your favorite comedian is now comedian is now i say there's dave chappelle and there's everyone else. That's just how I feel. And I don't know if it's because I grew up around it. I'm not saying there's not great comics now. But when I look at that OR stage now and I see the comedians on there, my mind goes to Kennison. My mind goes to Robin.

My mind goes to, because those are the people that I saw on that stage. And with Chappelle, I'm just like it's just i've never seen anything like it you know we're so blessed to have him in our lives it's not just that it's really funny it's like the things he's talking about and the way he's breaking things down his perspective on things it's so it's not just being funny no it's a very interesting perspective it's a very smart perspective he's so relaxed and he's so fucking... And he loves it, man. He's on the road constantly.

He's always doing stand-up. He loves it. He loves it. He loves it. And then I went and visited him and I got his shirt. He gave me his shirt. He has a shop. He's got a Chappelle's shop with all his clothes.

I went to his little town. I'm sure you've been there. Have you been to Yellow Springs? I haven't been to Yellow Springs. It's pretty cool. Yeah. Well, it's dope that he did it the way he set it up. Yeah.

Because we were at his house, and he did that vitamin drip. He did that. Yeah. And it was just me and him. Do you ever do that? I haven't done it. Oh, no, wait. I did it.

No, they did connect me that day. They gave me a vitamin drip. Dude. Yeah. It's a bomb diggity. Really? Yeah. You do that. Especially if you feel bad. No, they did connect me that day. They gave me a vitamin drip. Dude. Yeah. It's a bomb diggity. Really? Yeah, especially if you feel bad.

If you don't feel well, it's really good. IV zinc and vitamin C. And so the nurse comes over. Glutathione. Yeah, and they give you an IV. Rehydrates you, gives you a lot of vitamins. It's just athletes love it. They like to do it as much as possible.

Yeah, I think Adam Ray, I saw him recently in West Hollywood, and he was coming out of a place like that, and I think he was doing it too. So I want to try it. Yeah, there's quite a few of those places now. When you were living in Vegas, did you go up at all? I did. Where were you working at? I helped start Wise Guys, which is the comedy club there with Keith.

Right. So Keith's the owner of the Wise Guys, you know, in Utah. I heard the Wise Guys in Vegas is awesome. Yeah. So Duncan's played there. Ari's played there. How many seats? It's like 200, 220.

It's in the arts district. Nice. So, yeah, I played there, and I did some shows at the Laugh Factory. Where's the Arts District? If here, yeah. It's near off of Fremont. Downtown is like another city. Downtown should not be Vegas.

It's hilarious. Don't call that Vegas. What is that? No, here's Fremont, and then the Strip's over here. So Arts District is in between Fremont and the Strip. When you think of Vegas, you think of casinos, right? Yeah. But there's like a whole vibrant bar scene.

There's great restaurants. Great restaurants. There's a place called Esther's Kitchen. There's Sparrow and Wolf. But that is not Vegas. That's like- There's a small- Yeah.

Right? I guess it is Vegas. What am I saying? Those are the- That's the real Vegas that's the heartbeat of Vegas the industry, the Vegas industry all live off the strip the dancers, the magicians

the bottle service girls all those girls and all the people Summer Lynn Henderson so I was there for two and a half years it was great, it was during the pandemic I lived next to Nicolas Cage which was cool. Cara Topps actually the one that reintroduced me to him.

So, and I had known Nicolas Cage because we went to the same high school from back in the day. So, so when we connected, it was fucking, it was weird because I'm like you, huge fan. Yeah. I mean, I mean, he's been doing it for 40 years and his movies are, you know, he's one of the best actors. So when I'm, he'll hit me up. He'll be like, yo, come out, let's go.

And then he'll like text me and he'll be in his $500,000, you know, Ferrari. I'm like, where are we going? He's like, we're gonna get some sushi. So we'll go get sushi and then we'll drive down Las Vegas Boulevard. I'm like, dude, you don't need that. He's got eight cars. I'm like, you don't need that. He's got eight cars.

I'm like, you don't need this. He goes, yeah, but it's badass. That's his answer to it. It's badass. I'm like, all right. He's correct. It's true. And his house is awesome.

Yeah, but you're a little more sensible. Like, hey, what are you doing, Nick? Slow down. He's trying to be Nick Cage. Yeah, he is. He's doing it. He loves it. And his house is cool, and he's great.

But he's not on social media. We signed an NDA. He made me sign an NDA. Wow. That I can't put any videos or photos anywhere. No, I'm just kidding. He didn't sign it. But one of the first conversations with him is when I came over to his house.

He's like, come over. You're my neighbor out of nowhere. Right? So I come over. We start having a nice glass of wine. And he says, I'm not doing your podcast. I'm like, I didn't ask you to fucking be on the podcast. I'm just here.

What's up? And he goes, just one thing promised me. He goes, don't ever post any pictures or videos of us together because I want to be private. I'm like, cool. And ever since then, it's been cool. Yeah. That's cool. But I do have a lot of photos and videos of him.

Of his dick? Of his penis. Oh, nice. But he is funny, dude. I'm sure he is. Yeah. He seems like a real character. And it's so funny that he changed his last name because he was connected to France for Coppola

Right because because of these is his nephew's that what is yeah? No, what he said what Nick said is when he first started acting he was on the set of I think it was Fast Times at Richmond High he was with I think it was Sean Penn and you know, there was Different different actors and they go. Oh you're just here because your uncle is Francis Ford Coppola. So he didn't want to be known as that. So he didn't want to be known as that. So he wanted his own identity. And it worked.

You know, because America or the world, they don't think like, oh, that's Francis Ford Coppola's nephew. You know, because his father was Francis Ford Coppola's brother. Right. That was in the 60 Minutes thing, right? Yeah. We talked about it in there. The 60 Minutes thing was fun. It was very fun.

But that's, what a great move, too. Name yourself after a fucking superhero. Nick Cage. It's awesome. Yeah. And he's been in so many fun movies, man. Yeah. I mean, that guy was in, what's the Arizona movie?

Raising Arizona. Raising Arizona. Yeah. I mean, Moonstruck and Leaving Las Vegas. Raising Arizona was fucking amazing. So many. So many fucking great movies. Yeah.

Yeah, he's a good dude. We hang out at this sushi bar in Vegas on Sahara. Wow. It's pretty good. And we just, you know, he's he's just you know he's very sensitive as you can imagine but he's a sweetheart i'm sure i would expect nothing less yeah smart of him staying off social media too yeah it's not his thing buddy yeah it's not his thing you don't need need it anyway. You're Nicolas Cage. And he goes from one movie to the next movie to the next movie. And he loves acting.

Dude, how about Leaving Las Vegas? Yeah. Remember that movie? Hell yeah. Holy shit. That movie was heavy. Yeah. Heavy.

Did you see Pig? No. That's his favorite movie that he did. Really? You got to watch Pig. I've heard it's really good. It's really good. Yeah?

Yeah, it's fucking great. That and Guesthouse, my movie Guesthouse. Watch Mindstoned. Yeah, look at him right there. What is Pig about? Someone steals his truffle pig. Oh, no. Yeah, and he's not happy about it.

Oh, he looks wild as fuck. Yeah. Look at him. Where is he supposed to be living? I think it's in Portland in the woods. Oh, wow. Yeah. No shit.

Yeah, he's such a sweetheart. He's such a great guy and such a, you know, I'm very, you know, happy that I got to connect with him. Who has my pig? Is this an action movie? Does he fuck people up? It's a good drama. It's a good movie. Is there like John Wick with pigs?

No, not quite. Not quite. But close, I guess. There's all those movies like, you fuck with the wrong guy. There's so many movies like that. You know, boy, did you fuck up. There's so many movies like that. That was The Old Man.

Did you ever see The Old Man? It was a series that was on, is it on Apple? It might be on Apple. It's on one of them weird ones. But it was really good at first. And it just kind of teetered off. It's called what? It's on FX.

Does that make sense? Might have been on Hulu. Put up an image of it so we can see it. Old Man. And it's Jeffrey Bridges. And he plays an old hitman that people fuck with the wrong guy. I love Jeffrey. They fuck with the wrong guy.

It's one of them movies. Or one of them shows. I really enjoy the Fuck With The Wrong Guy. It's one of them movies or one of them shows. I really enjoy the They Fuck With The Wrong Guy show. That one's really good in the beginning. It's really good for a few episodes that I lost interest for whatever reason. But the beginning is worth the ride. You know? I haven't seen it.

I haven't seen that one. I haven't seen that one. But, yeah, so he's there. Who else was there? I don't seen that one. I haven't seen that one. But yeah, so he's there. Who else was there? I don't know. In Vegas? Yeah. Well, you have a lot of clubs there now.

Like Vegas is a real scene now. There was Jimmy Kimmel's club. I think, is that still there? I think it's still there. And then there's Brad Garrett's club. It's been there for a long time. Yeah. And then you have the Cellar that's there.

That's supposed to be really good. I hear nothing but good things. You have Wise Guys that's really good. Nothing but good things. And then you have The Laugh Factory. Laugh Factory at the Chop, yeah. Yeah, I mean, that is a lot of comedy. Yeah.

You know? And if they're doing daily shows, how many of those are they bringing in people for an entire week? Like a headliner? Is that how they're doing it for the most part? Yeah, sometimes they'll bring in, yeah, starting like on a Wednesday.

Yeah, well, sometimes it's like on a monday i look at some of the schedules you know the last i don't say the last time i was at the the tropicana but i remember um a couple years ago i was at tropicana gallagher had like the uh he had the uh seven o'clock spot oh wow yeah remember gallagher yeah sure yeah passed. Yeah. I remember when his brother took over, became Gallagher, too. He quit, and then his brother started doing his act, and he's like, hey, I want my act back. They had some sort of a dispute over who gets to be Gallagher. Yeah, he wasn't happy about it. Imagine Scott taking my act. But just the idea that you could have a guy who kind of looks

like you because he's your bro but everybody knows it's not really him right like but they still pay they still pay to see him and then when you say hey i'm gonna do that go back dude stand up you gotta stop doing that it's like fuck you bro yeah like you literally gave this guy his whole career right right yeah unless there was maybe some legal work involved. Well, there's also a lot of these lookalikes. So like I saw, was it, I think Legends of Las Vegas? Because I saw some of the shows while I was there. I saw a Prince lookalike.

Oh, wow. And he was great. Like, un-fucking-believable. I saw a Rod Stewart lookalike, and I saw a Rod Stewart, and the lookalike was better. Well, the lookalike meaning an imperson saw Rod Stewart and the look-alike was better Well the look-alike meaning an impersonator. Yeah the impersonator. So like they sing them and the whole deal Yeah, he does the whole thing. I mean I saw Rod Stewart's amazing, but he's you know, he's you know Well, you know what happened with journey, right? I don't journey had

Steve what is his name? Steve Perry. Steve Perry retired from Journey and then this young guy who used to do a Journey cover band who has the most insane imitation of Steve Perry his voice is incredible I remember so his name is

Arnel Pineda I think Pineda, it mightnel Pineda. I think Pineda. It might be Pineda. And he's from the Philippines. And this dude was just a fan. But you've got to listen to it.

See if you can find one of them. Listen to this. Oh, wow. Thank you. Salamat, Calabayan. I mean, ladies and gentlemen. that Steve Perry's not there. Maybe it bothers some people. But it's so good. Just a small town girl Wow. Living in a lonely world She took the midnight train

Going anywhere Just a city boy Born on a racist south Detroit He sounds exactly like the dude. Wait till he hits the high notes. When he really goes off, you're like, this kid is fucking talented It's just the night, it goes on and on and on and on Sing with me Strangers waiting Hoping that I'll burn them all

The shadows searching in the night Sweet lights Deeper Letting just the fire Demolish Now here's the thing that's crazy. Look at that audience. Right, they don't care. Not only that, they're young. Wow.

These are young people. Right. These are like new Journey fans. Right. Didn't they do this with Alice in Chains too, right? I think this guy, does he speak like perfect English? Does he speak with an accent?

Which is wild because he's singing perfect. Yeah, because is he Filipino or? Yes, he's from the Philippines. That's why he's holding up that flag. Oh, wow. Didn't they do this with Alice in Chains, right? Alice in Chains, right? Alice in Chains? Yeah.

Huh. Is he in there talking? Is that on Oprah? I'm sure she must have had a conversation with him. There he goes. She was everything to me. Oh. Whatever. Seems like he has at least a slight

accent. Actually, play some Steve Perry. Give me a comparison. Don't Stop Believin' by Steve Perry. The original journey. We're gonna rock out, right? I think he's doing something slightly different. He's got his own spin on it. And it sounds amazing for sure.

It sounds amazing. But there was something about this dude because this dude wasn't very classically beautiful like a lot of rock stars you know yeah jesus i mean that's the guy dude bro yeah that's the fucking guy, dude. Bro. Yeah, that's the guy. We wouldn't know the difference. Oh, you're good. Did you ever get to see a lot of big hair bands back in the day when you were in the 80s?

Not really, man. Like big stadium bands like ufo or like the who or i saw jay guile's band yeah of course i saw george thoroughgood yeah well he saw some yeah i saw um who else did i see i saw a couple other bands so the kids that i was hanging around with in high school like to go to concerts. I was like, what are you talking about? We're going to go see live music?

Johnny Winter. We saw Johnny Winter, too. This is Alice in Chains with our new singer. Oh, wow. Were you a fan of Alice in Chains? I was. So good. Yeah.

I mean, look at that. Does this guy sound like him? or is he doing his own thing wow Wow. God damn. Woo. That's pretty good. Woo. That dude's good.

But put on Lane. Put on a song with Lane. Lane Staley. Yeah, we'll go to that. But what's that dude's name? What is that dude's good But put on Lane Put on a song With Lane Lane Staley Yeah we'll go to that But what's that dude's name What is that dude's name He's great too Yeah He's great too

He's great too Yeah There's a Lane was fucking magical This guy What is that gentleman's William Duvall William Duvall

He's a talented motherfucker Yeah look at Lane though dude Lane was the fucking man bro Oh my god hevall. He's a talented motherfucker. Yeah, look at Lane, though, dude. Lane was the fucking man, bro. Oh, my God, he was a maniac. He was a maniac. I brought these guys on stage a couple times. I mean, fuck, dude. This was my favorite band out of Seattle. This was my favorite band out of Seattle.

It beeps it. Dude, put Them Bones. Put up Them Bones. I mean, these guys. Them Bones is a fucking jam. It's such a horrific song, too, because you know this dude's talking about fighting heroin. This fucking song rules. So very good. There you go.

That's a big old pile of hand bones I mean, yeah, the best If you're listening to this on the treadmill, you will run faster Put River of Deceit, Mad Season Do you know who that is? No, I don't Yes, you do I do?

Yes, you do. I do? Yes, you do. So Mad Season was a band that was put together with Lane from Alice in Chains and the guys from Pearl Jam. It was a side project. I did not know about that. Do you know about that? Mad Season? No.

Well, I hosted MTV, so I was- Oh, of course. You were in the loop. I was in the loop on this shit. Check out this fuck. Check out his voice on this what year are we talking about here this

so in the band was Pearl Jam cause those guys were all incestual all those bands up there the Seattle scene this is I love this song this is beautiful wait till you hear his fucking voice on this. Crank it.

Maybe we should dim the lights, bro. Do some heroin. What do you think? I'm scared. So these are the guys playing from Pearl Jam in the background. My pain Is self-chosen At least So that's the same guy from Alice Alice in Chains

It's lame Yep Yeah What a voice he has so unusual yeah i don't know if them bones is about him fighting off heroin but god damn it seems like it is you know yeah mike starr also was in the band he died as well him and lane both died heroin culture is a strange culture the heroin musician culture is very very strange because it's um it's very prevalent about amongst elite musicians you

know in terms of like you look at the guys that we we all worship like hendrix did heroin uh morrison most likely did heroin right it wasn't yeah he? Yeah. Kurt Cobain did heroin. Yeah. Layne Staley did heroin. The guy from Blind Melon, the lead singer of Blind Melon, he died of heroin, I think, too. Yeah, it's so prevalent, man. It's so prevalent.

It's just like, you know. You got to wonder, what is it about heroin in music? There's probably a feel to it or something. I think it's a place they want to go. So I think they're writing, but they feel like, yo, if I do this, I can go even to another level. I don't know. I can ask Jerry, the guitar player.

He'd be a great guy to have on your show. Jerry Cantrell. guitar player um he'd be a great guy to have on your show Jerry Jerry control yeah uh ask him how Lane came up with those lyrics I don't know if there's something I think there's something to heroin and its effects on people that we we're looking at it only in a negative way I've never done heroin but I did do a morphine drip once when I had my knee surgery and it was amazing so I would imagine heroin feels fucking great but there was a guy that I knew that was a pool hustler he was like a big-time pool player in Connecticut in the east coast and his name was water dog they'd call him buffalo bill or water dog and this guy was a heroin addict and he would go into the bathroom

and he would shoot heroin and after he'd shot heroin he would sit on the bathroom and he would shoot heroin. Fuck. And after he'd shot heroin, he would sit on the bar stool like this. He would sit on one of those billiards chairs. He would sit there like this. Oh my God. I'm not kidding. For like 15, 20 minutes, just sit there like this. Wow. And then when he got out, he couldn't miss a ball.

He couldn't miss. So he was gambling for thousands of dollars. There was all these people yelling and screaming. There was so much money involved because it was like this guy who was like a local gambler, George the Greek, was playing against him. And there was a lot of money being bet on this, thousands of dollars. And this fucking guy couldn't miss. He had eyes like a shark, just like his pupils were fully dilated.

And he was just firing balls in. He could see where the ball was going with pinpoint position. It was wild to watch. And I was like, what the ball was going with pinpoint position. It was wild to watch. And I was like, what the fuck is going on with heroin? Like how do so many musicians create amazing works of art with it? How do so many, like Mitch Hedberg loved heroin. You know, he's like one of the funniest guys that's ever lived. Like what is it about that drug?

Maybe I should do heroin. I'm just kidding. No. Yeah, I know. I definitely don't want to do it I'm scared but I would want I'm wondering like what is are you scared because if you did it you'd really dig it oh yeah and then you don't want to do anything that I would really like that can eventually kill you right you couldn't just like I'm just gonna try it no it doesn't seem like a try thing heroin seems like uh it's like what about coke have you ever done coke never done coke really no never done

coke no one believes that which is very insulting because i tell the truth about everything but that is the one that i have um i avoided it because when i was a kid i had a cousin a friend whose cousin um was selling it and his life fell apart. I watched his life fall apart. I knew him before that, and then watching him afterwards, I was like, fuck, man, stay away from coke. Do you think if you did it, you would want to do it some more? I'm sure I would love it, yeah. I'm sure I'd love it.

I think everybody loves it. There's certain things that even... A man's got to know his limitations. Stay away from things like coke what about also like artistically i'm not interested in anything that makes me more comfortable i'm interested in things that make me less comfortable i'm interested in things that make me less secure that's why i like weed because it makes you like analyze your behavior more you know and see the faults in your own stuff because you're kind of looking at things

almost when you semi-paranoid when you write do you do you smoke a doobie yeah right before yeah and what's your writing process depends on what time it is if uh if it's at night and i'm leaving a club i won't smoke anything i just i'm already probably a little high and i'll just sit in front of the computer and i just i just start writing just start writing yeah just try to find anything and all i'm looking for is like paragraphs that i can extract i'm looking for a premise and some of my best bits have come out of that just like forcing it and then once i force an idea like get get something down then i start dissecting it and chopping it up and then get it to

a place where i feel like this is funny enough i know where it's going enough that i can talk about it on stage and when and when you when you write you don't write for the joke you write for the angle and the story no i just write on the subject so just like so if i'm gonna write this is just one way i do it another way i do it is i'll come up with something funny and then i write it down on my phone i I do that a lot too. But when I write, it's like, say if I'm going to do something about caffeine,

I'll just sit and write about caffeine. Like if there's, it's not really good subject, but you know, whatever the subject is that I think is funny, I just start writing about it is look at it from all the different angles. Look at it from a silly angle. Look at it from a the different angles look at it from a silly angle look at it from a hater's angle look at it from a lover look at it twist it up make it so like

even though it's a ridiculous thing to say maybe this is good for society right this happens you know and like have funny ways to look at it and then i try it on stage and then when i try it on stage i listen to it and i fuck around listen to it back yeah i I listen to it and I fuck around with it. You listen to it back? Yeah, I listen to it back. Or I know what I said, so I'll just go and work on it on the next set and try to find another way to go in it. Maybe I'm missing something. Sometimes the best version of a bit came from just a chance way of saying it a different way one night. And I'm like, oh my God, it's so much better.

You fixed it instantly. So do you have, I don't want to say a team of writers, but people back there, you just have the audio? No, it's just me. But you remember it? Well, I record everything. I record everything on my phone. You're recording this conversation?

I record this conversation. Fuck, God damn it. All the stuff I said about Nicolas Cage. We're in trouble. We're in trouble. So what about observational versus personal as far as where your head's at regarding that? I think you should think and talk about what you're interested in thinking and talking about. And right now what I'm interested in thinking and talking about is that this is a very bizarre disconnect between the people in this country and why we tend to join groups

and decide that the people in the other group are the bad people and we're the good people and we're going to stop that, the bad people. And this is going to be great for everybody. Like slow the fuck down. Everybody, this is what I'm thinking about today because i've never been more concerned that we could be in a fucking nuclear war in my life than right now i've never been more concerned

about whatever the fuck is going on and with russia and ukraine spilling over into the united states and causing chaos for everyone on the planet and death and destruction beyond our imagination the fact that that's on the table is so fucking crazy. And he's not going to stop this guy, right? Dude, the whole thing is a mess. It's a mess. It's a mess with NATO moving into surrounding countries. It's a mess where, you know, Russia invades Ukraine. It's horrible. So is it just about real estate? It's about many things.

I'm not the person to talk to you about this. If you want to listen to Dave Smith talk about it, he's very, very knowledgeable, and he can explain in detail how NATO started violating some sort of an agreement, and they were moving their arms closer to where Russia is. And people had specifically said that they were trying to get Ukraine to join NATO. If Ukraine joined NATO, that would be at the border of Russia, an armed force of the whole world. And it's just tactically, if you're a general, if you're a person who is a president or a king of a country, you're not going to let somebody pull right up on your fucking border like that with a new army attached to it. Like, why?

Why do you guys need a new army? What do you plan on doing with that new army? Why are your fucking cannons pulling it at us? You know, it's all bad. It's all bad, dude. And it's all bad because the military industrial complex is a gigantic force of nature and power and money. There's so much going on. And it's a natural thing that happens when people get into power. When people get into power, if they have that kind of money, they're making that kind of money. One of the things that they absolutely are going to do is they're going to try to make as much money as they can with any situation that comes up.

Now, if you're in the business of telling jokes, that's great. You're just going to tour and do bigger arenas. Yay, you're at this big place. Yay, you're at this place. More seats, more tickets. But if you're in the war business, you're just getting to the edge of no more civilization like you're pushing things to the edge of what could happen today if someone's fucking crazy and someone is dying already and someone is a dictator that literally has the ability to launch nukes on your last breath

you could fucking do it and then it's chaos And the question doesn't become whether or not he should have done that. Of course he shouldn't have done that. The question, could there have been steps that were made to prevent that from happening in the future? And if those steps could be made, they should probably be made. Because this is where we are. This scares the shit out of me in a way that nothing in my life has ever scared the shit out of me. Yeah, it's been it's It's the real deal. It's the real deal. Yeah, it's a real deal and it doesn't we did why are we involved in this?

Why is anyone involved in this why are groups of people? Involved in this kind of conflict when the groups of people don't benefit. That's what's weird. I think that you know You know he That's what's weird. Well, I think that, you know, we as Americans, from my feeling, is that we see these poor people get killed. And we don't want to, like, have our guys, you know, like Afghanistan, go in there. But here's some weapons because we feel bad for all your innocent people that are dying. So you guys figure it out. That's a great way to look at it. Right?

Yeah. That's a positive way to look at it, right? Yeah, that's a positive way to look at it. Like if you wanted to positively support the Well, that's a man money. That's America. That's what I think that he I think that Putin Knew that going into it he goes we're gonna we're gonna do this and I know America is gonna give these guys money and it's Gonna fuck up their economy. Could be. Because our economy is pretty fucked up right now.

Yeah, but I think it would have been fucked up anyway. I don't think these people are goofy. I think it's really hard to run a country and most people aren't very good at it. Just how it goes. There's very few people that are actually good at it. And it's very clear that this country is being run by a bunch of people other than just the president. I mean, I don't know how much say he has, but it's a lot of other people are involved. And they're not doing such a great job. And they haven't made course corrections very good.

There's a lot of mistakes that have been made that didn't have to be made. And that's just how it is. It's just like it's not being run well. And so you have to go, well, who could do it better? Could it be a Republican or it could be a better Democrat? And if it's not a better Democrat, like how are we going to get a better Democrat if you don't let the president debate? So they won't let him debate because Robert Kennedy Jr. and what is that other woman's name? Marianne Williamson. Marianne Williamson. Apparently they're both promising candidates for the Democratic Party, but they won't let him debate before the primaries. So it's like that's not that Democratic.

That's not how it's supposed to do it. I agree with you. I think both sides are fucked up. I mean I think both sides are. It's all run by money, man. They let money into politics and people can profit off of decisions. And it's a mess that you can't pull out of. It's one of those things like once you've got that in there, it's like, you're not taking the pee out of the ocean, kid.

It's like it's in there. You're not fixing that. Yeah. And the news organizations, I mean, I flip back and forth. And the news organizations, I mean, I flip back and forth. And when I was growing up, it was just a news anchor just reading the teleprompter and basically just reading the news. And now both sides have something to say. And I never remember. They're editorializing.

Yeah, I never remembered that. And it's, you know, I watch it because I'm a comedian and I look at the comedy in it. And I don't take it serious. That's good Yeah, and and you know these news anchors they roll their eyes they say shit and they're both way too far left and way too Far right. Well, you're taking a real chance if you're running a corporate network and you have on people that are gonna give opinions because you're gonna have people that just give the hot take of the day and repeat things that everybody says and use phrases that they've heard on TV and the news

and know that they have to hit certain beats in order to be accepted. And then you're going to get people that are very arrogant about enforcing their own personal ideologies and their sets and views of things. And they'll argue with people in a very uncomfortable way

where you see people with differing opinions now on the internet in particular, having thoughtful conversations with each other, even though they have different opinions. It doesn't have to devolve to this stupid name-calling, yelling game. Like, why? Why are you calling each other names?

Why are you insulting each other? Is this getting anything done? Can you keep it together as a human being? Do you have the character to keep it together? And so this is like the way people communicate in these short clips, in these CNN things where you're watching people argue about stuff. It's like, my God, is this a bad format for this? And my God, are you guys bad at doing it in this format?

Because it's like you're just virtue signaling and complaining. It's like the way you're interfacing with people. Yeah, I think it's all fake. I think the second the cameras are off, I think Tucker Carlson is super liberal. And I think that Don Lemon is super Republican. I do. I do really think that. I don't think that.

But I do think that Tucker Carlson used to be a deadhead. Yes. Which is amazing. Yeah, he's from California. He's from Santa Monica. But I think it's all entertainment. I think these guys are as narcissistic as the most actors that are in Hollywood. I think these news anchors, the second the camera's off, they're looking at their, you know, like anyone else.

I think it's entertainment. Dude, they're just human beings. At the end of the day, they're just human beings. And everybody is subject to the same weirdness. All of them. No matter what the profession is. You know, it's like the job of being a news anchor is so strange. You're distributing the news.

Hi, I'm Pauly Shore with the news. Today, Putin learned that Ukraine said... And then you know that you don't know jack shit. And you're just reading off a teleprompter. And everybody comes to you and they want to take a picture with you at the restaurant hey it's paulie from the news it's a fucking weird gig man you're a reader of the news yeah and you have to do it in a fake way yeah well there's a way to talk paulie a way that settles people and calms their fears and that's the way we prefer to talk here on k106 yeah you know who i loved was uh

brian brian williams remember him on msn loved him yeah he was good i thought he was great he was great he had the best cop he got in trouble because he lied about iraq yeah lied about getting shot at which yeah but then that kind of went away a little bit. No, really. Not the people that got shot at. Oh, okay. Yeah, they're not really interested in hearing from you anymore. If you can just, like, make up a story.

But Hillary Clinton did that too, right? I think so. Didn't she, like, make up some, or there was a dispute in her story? I just wish there wasn't a Fox and a CNN. I wish there was just a set news and you just read what was on the news and it was the people to decide what they think as opposed to giving opinions. That's my thought. That's how it was when I was a kid.

The thing is, it's like you don't really know these people very well. So when they're giving their opinions, you don't know them very well. You don't really know them. You don't really hear them. But they should probably have a disclaimer and say like, yo, I don't know shit. I'm just reading what it tells me to read. So please don't get mad at me. My job is to read what's on there.

Imagine. I want you to imagine this. Imagine if all of your interactions for the rest of your life would be like you sitting on the couch of a talk show It would be you would go crazy. You would go fucking crazy Imagine if that's how you communicate for the rest of your life or if you only talk to people that talk to you like a news anchor Oh my god, imagine that I want you to imagine if the only way they talked they talked like a politician giving a speech Polly what we can do for this country is different than what anybody could do for any other country And I'm here to tell you that with my committee be like dude. Yes fucking relax

Oh the fuck down right speak normal. What are you doing? Imagine if that's how people talked forever you would go mad You would literally go mad. You would literally go insane. We allow a certain kind of fake kind of thing, a top 40 DJ voice. Phony, yeah. Imagine if they only talked in top 40 DJ voices. Pauly Shore walking into the room, ladies and gentlemen. Pauly Shore can be seen at the blah, blah, blah, at the blah, blah, blah. Tickets available now.

Yeah. Yeah. It's weird. And then we go back to what I said originally, which is the phones. I always said that before the internet, if you were a crazy person, you could just, back in the day, just you know be crazy and sit in the corner now if you're a crazy person you can actually be crazy and i think that has a lot to do with it too yeah you know people get to you know have their opinion you know when i was growing up i didn't know everyone wanted to be famous i thought if you wanted i didn't i thought it was just new york and

la right i didn't know people you know people in Iowa would be like, yo, check out my cornfields, dog. You know what I mean? Yo, check out my steak, dude. Have you seen this guy who only gets hit in the balls? I have not. Have I sent you that guy, Jamie? I don't know which one.

The big fat guy with the missing teeth? That's not a new thing. Yeah, what's his name? I don't know. I don't know who you're talking about. Oh, God damn it. I know I have it saved. But this dude... Let me figure out

who I sent it to, because I sent it to someone recently. Send it to me. This dude just keeps getting smashed in the balls. And he's probably got a million followers, right? People love it. Uh, he probably does. Yeah. Goddammit. I'm gonna have to find it. I

definitely sent it to quite a few friends, but I don't know where it is. This dude just gets hammered in the balls all the time. He's a big fat guy with tattoos on his face. So that's my point, though. You seen him? We played it before on here. But that's my point, right? What's the homie's name?

I have to find it. He's crazy. He's like missing his front teeth and he just gets kicked in the balls. And he's probably making bank. Probably driving a Ferrari. Yeah, I didn't find it. He's crazy. He's like missing his front teeth and he just gets kicked in the balls. And he's probably making bank. Probably driving a Ferrari. Yeah, I didn't know that. Bro, he gets hit in the ball so hard. Yeah.

So hard. You're like, you're going to die. You're going to die. Who hits him? Just random people? Well, I'll show you. Multiple different kinds of people. Oh, God.

They hit him in the balls with a hockey puck. Watch this. This dude. So he's Canadian, obviously. And this dude's a serious hockey player, too. He whips it in. Oh, my God. He shot it right in.

Right in on the sack. Bro. Wow. This was four years ago. Okay, so he's been getting kicked in the balls for decades. So his balls look like cauliflower ears. Hold my fries. Is that a Canadian thing, like hold my beer?

Mmm. I don't know. Yeah, but this is... hold my fries is that a canadian thing like hold my beer yeah but this is my fries maybe it's all just like grabbing your dick yeah this is what people want to see right um there's a lot more brutal ones than that like him getting uh what did he get i think he got a golf ball guys hold my fries are for fat guys. Oh, okay. I think he got a golf ball whacked into his balls and a bunch of other stuff too. But yeah, it's... Yeah, and there you go. You can make it. You're going to make it happen tomorrow.

But yeah, it's some, you know... Yeah, you can do it a lot of different ways now. And I think that's the big change. You can do it a lot of different ways now. And I think that's the big change. You could do it a lot of different ways. And there's people that become famous through TikTok and Instagram and all these different things and YouTube and podcasts. And, you know, there's always going to be movies because movies are fun. They're entertaining. There's always going to be television shows because people like to watch television.

It's just they have to adjust to a different time you know but if you don't want to do that anymore as a comic you don't have to do that anymore because it used to be that you had to do that if you wanted to do comedy because if you didn't get a sitcom people wouldn't come to see you in the clubs because they wouldn't know who you are right you know they you had to like someone had to find out who you were you had to either get a special on hbo or you'd have to do the Tonight Show With Johnny back in the day. Yeah, there's there to be some way What do you think I think I thought art what Ari did was great with this special. Yeah, that was amazing Yeah, but I thought just that I love how Ari just says fuck it. You know what I mean? It says I'm gonna do something completely different

Yeah, you know and I thought that just he thought about it for a long time. Yeah worked on that set for a long ass time Yeah, but I just love that he said, fuck everyone, I'm just going to do it myself. And he paved the way. I mean, big Jay Oakerson did it, right? A lot of people have done that. Well, Shane Gillis did it before him. And a lot of his success came out of that as well. And I think the internet is a great thing for guys like me especially.

Because if I'm not getting a movie offer, if I'm not getting a TV offer, and I'm going on stage, I'm touring, I still want to do other shit. And so, for instance, I can do a YouTube. I could do Instagram, do all my stupid videos. So I think it's a good thing. Oh, for sure. Yeah. No, it's definitely a good thing. It's definitely a good thing.

And it's a good thing for several reasons. It's a good thing to get your stuff out there but it's also a good thing to to be stay creative because in the old days if you come up with an idea you'd get to develop it and it takes a long time yes now you come up with an idea you could put it out the next day yeah and i love that that's what's great about youtube you know so i could put my stuff right out on youtube i could do videos on there no and i think it's cool yeah i think it's cute it cool. Yeah, I think it's cute. It's huge. And it's also great that comics can just be free,

and they're not attached to this thing that can't accept them if they have jokes about this or that or anything, or if they're controversial or they swear too much. It doesn't matter anymore. Now, with podcasts are a completely new industry that is as big as television is if not bigger So a bad thing is a good thing. Yeah, it's not even a bad thing It's just a changing thing and you give people access like this to something that's you know

Where you could pause it anytime you want watch it whenever you want like a regular talk show. It's clunky. It's clunky Doesn't work that good Whereas if you were, you know, you're imagining where it's going to go. It's probably going to go to some completely unexpected place next. Like nobody saw a podcast coming, right?

Nobody thought this was ever going to be a big thing. So there's probably something like that. That's going to be coming next. And you'd have to like predict it based on, it'd have to be like, you'd have to analyze like lifestyle things and like fit you have to figure out what would what new kind of technology would interface with people like how would people how would people enjoy something in a new way I don't

know what the answer that is but whether it's virtual reality augmented reality but when that comes along it's also when you go to a nightclub and you see a, you know, back in the day when you go to a nightclub, you'd like people would be up dancing. And now you go to a nightclub, people are staring at their phones. You know, so if you want to talk to a girl, you know, where you kind of can hijack and go into someone's phone if you're like in a, like imagine. Like you can airdrop them a picture and say you airdropped them an invitation to FaceTime you. Buy them a drink. Yeah, buy them a drink. Can you do that?

I wonder if you can airdrop a FaceTime request. That would be fun. That would be cool. Like imagine some babe. request. That would be a fun That would be cool. Like imagine some babe, yo, imagine some babe is like, you know, you want to talk to the babe but she's staring at her phone

and you want to buy her a drink and you're like, you just airdrop your video and then you're like, yo babe, I'm right here. Let me buy you a... On second thought, that's a terrible idea. That's a terrible idea. I just thought about that because I'm a guy. Like, if I was a girl, that would be a terrible idea. You'd just be getting dicks airdropped to you from all over the bar.

It's a scenario where it would be good, but everyone has to be on the same page. Yes. That's a very good way of putting it, Jamie. And then there's the dating apps. Whatever the fuck is next after phones is going to make phones look like a typewriter. Yes, right? Whatever's next is going to be some mind-changing shit like literal mind changing like some some sort of a neural interface something real next level where it's going to just

you're not i mean they were talking about having uh like a portal to the internet that's like connected to your brain all the time what does that look like what does that seem like well you can put in you could put put in something in here and go open the door like that now. Yeah? Yeah. On your fingers? No, I have a guy I know that goes to his office and he puts some chip in there and he goes like this

and the door opens. Oh, okay. Yeah, so he has a key fob. We have key fobs like that that do that. Yeah, it's inside your hand, right? Yeah. Well, it doesn't have to be. Are you talking about like an implant? Yeah. Because I've seen that.

Oh, you're talking about an implant. I thought you meant a ring. No, like an actual inside. Imagine if they made you wear a chip ring with the logo of the company on it. Keep your ring on 24-7, even when you shower. Yeah. If your ring breaks, we'll get you a new one. But you are a proud employee of Walmart.

You will keep that Walmart ring. Get a fucking Walmart ring. Don't they do it with dogs? Don't you do that with a dog? Are you calling people dogs that work at Walmart, you son of a bitch? Did you hear what he said? Your dog. I have a chip in my dog, so if my dog gets lost.

Or if your dog gets, it's actually for your dog gets picked up by the pound. Oh, okay. So the pound can scan it, and they can get your like a head of lettuce yeah yeah and they've if you have a chip in there and then they go okay we've Paulie we find your dog which is nice that's nice that's very cool yeah it's a wild ass time yeah it's gonna get wilder this Michio Kaku interview that I did yesterday we were talking about quantum computing and what that means and what they're going to be able to do as they get better and better and better. It's like, holy shit.

He's like, there's a giant revolution that's going to change the world, and it's about to happen. What did he say? Well, there's a competition right now between Microsoft and IBM and Google and China. And they're all trying to be the first to develop a real quantum computer they already have a couple that they've devised but they are they're only designed to do very specific tasks they don't have like an artificial general intelligence quantum computer but when they do so what's that gonna be it's that whoever figures it out first.

There's a mad race right now between these giant corporations and between the country of China. And they're in the middle of this battle to see who wins this. And whoever wins this likely has technological superiority over the entire world. Because these things will be able to crack any kind of code that anybody has, any encryption. It'll be able to crack everything. So what's it look like? Or what is this guy's vision of what he thinks it's going to look like?

Well, what it looks like now is like some super fucking science fiction-y space shit. It looks like all these crazy golden coils that are wrapped around this one smaller device. And the smaller device is this computer, is this quantum computer. All that other stuff is just the cooling mechanism for the computer. See, can you pull up an image of it, whatever Michio Kaku put on yesterday? It's the craziest shit because you look at it and you go, oh, my God, that looks like a science fiction movie movie look at that thing or or a brewery in iowa welcome to the golden tap right yeah wow look at that thing though all that stuff on the top

is all cooling and that small box at the bottom with that blue light on it, that's the computer. So all that other stuff is... And that's your friend? No, no, that's not my friend. That's the CEO of Google. Oh. Michio Kaku is the guy who was the guest yesterday. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But that guy is one of the people that's involved. That's the CEO of Google. They're doing their own quantum computer, and IBM is, I think, as well this so this is to to basically hack into everything what that is is going to develop a computer what they're eventually going to be whatever version of it it whatever it looks like when they get it done there it's going to be a computer that can operate like a million times or more powerful than any computer that's ever existed. Wow.

I think that's a correct statement, is that right? It's not incorrect, but I do want to correct you on one tiny thing. This little pic on the picture here, what you're seeing there, that's like a router behind the machine. Oh, so that's not the computer at the bottom? Yeah, the little box that he was sort of trying

to explain is like, it's like, Oh, it's right above that. It's more like this, and it's just covered up by everything. Oh, okay, I see the computer at the bottom? Yeah, the little box that he was sort of trying to explain. It's like... Oh, it's right above that. It's more like this, and it's just covered up by everything. Okay, I see, I see, I see. Oh, okay. So that little... So it's even smaller. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's more like a microchip, but a little bit bigger than a microchip, obviously. Really? Yeah, it's... The computer itself is a little bigger than a microchip? That's what I'm trying to... It's bigger than a microchip, you know, but like a CPU compared to a PC tower. It's kind of like that. This is like the tower cooling device for more of a CPU.

So how big is the actual chip? I'll try to find that out. Wild. So this is a little chip like this, Joe? Oh, my God. Look at this. It's not even that big. Jesus.

That's the computer. Bro. What the fuck? That's alien. That's alien. It fits into like it's gonna fit into your computer no that is going to be the computer wow that's what's crazy all the other stuff it's they instead of so instead of doing things with ones and zeros i'm gonna fuck this up i'm sure they're they're computing with atoms and they're they're doing their computation in atoms and these computations are happening in multiple

universes simultaneously i'm gone right you say that i'm like i don't know what you're saying like i'm just i'm repeating his words like it's too confusing. He's saying that they're happy. So that's the size of it. Look at that. Tell me if they found that. And you said we've found a computer that is one million times stronger than anything that exists here on Earth. This must be from another planet. Look at that guy holding that up in his hand. Go back to that image of him holding it.

If he said that was recovered from a crashed UFO in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947, this is the answer to all of our worries. If we can get this attached to the proper cooling, it will be one million times more powerful than any PC that's ever existed. That's like, that's a scene in The Watchmen or something, right?

I picture them doing the same thing, but finding an iPhone that doesn't have power, and you're like, if we could just turn this on, we don't even know what that means. Yeah, but then the cell phone towers are out and there's no 5G anymore. A device like that. I don't mean like specifically that. Right. Imagine if they get past this whole cell phone thing and develop something that uses the earth as a method of transmitting messages back and forth.

Like solar or something? method of transmitting messages back and forth the energy of the solar or something i don't know like sending something through the air that is powered by that very air like like instead of using a 5g signal you use the signal of the earth itself imagine if that becomes a thing imagine if there's a way that you can like instead like, sending things from tower to tower, which is insanely impressive, what if you were literally able to connect just human beings, device to device, with no network? They're so powerful that just like you can airdrop someone something on a plane,

you know, even if there's no Wi-Fi or nothing, imagine if your phone just connects to other phones. It just does it some other way. It doesn't need a 5G signal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That doesn't seem... It's so crazy that they could do it already.

It's so crazy they can send a video through the air and you can get it a second later. That's nuts. Well, you remember 20 years ago when you tried to download videos. Oh, yeah. It took a long time. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It took forever., yeah. It took a long time. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It took forever.

Even pictures. It was in your pictures. Yeah. Yeah. It was interesting because when Napster hit, you know, you're trading music. People are sharing music and all that. And then you're like, well, people in the movie and TV business are like, hey, well, at least we're not going to get, that's not going to happen to us.

And then shortly after that, people are sending copies of movies. Remember when like Spider-Man came out or something and they're like, oh, we got a copy and we're sending it all over the internet? Yeah. I don't know if it was Spider-Man, but you know what I mean? Yeah, that happens all the time in movies. They get leaked. Yeah. But when it first started to happen.

Well, when it first really started fucking people up was with Napster. That freaked people out. You could download entire albums for free. And everybody's like, wait, what's going on? Yeah, yeah. You know, and that, boy, you want to talk about a disruptive force in industry. That changed everything. Yeah, that was a big deal.

You can't sell records anymore. I had Paul Stanley on the podcast, and he's bitter about it. He doesn't like it at all. He was saying it's stealing. I'm like, eh. Yeah. I mean, stealing is like stealing a record. But the digital recording,

we used to always record off the radio. You remember that when you were a kid? You would record on cassettes off of the radio? Yeah. But that's okay. Because it doesn't sound that good. Nobody tried to stop that. And there was no distribution method.

Would you stop an A.I. Sam Kinison album from being made right now? I would not. I would not. You know what? It's like that Biggie Tupac thing that we played yesterday, which is hilarious. We played Michio Kaku. We played Notorious B.I.G. doing Nas lyrics.

Okay. And he was, you could tell, his eyes glazed over. Just like me talking to him about quantum physics. I feel like, though, if a Sam Kinison one, you guys know what that was like. You knew him. You would have to write material that's worthy. That's my point. You guys would listen to it and be like,

this kind of sucks, but you could play it for a kid and be like, I love this. This is awesome. And then you're like, you guys don't know what it was like, though. To rewrite Kinison, you'd have to rewrite Kinison in the context of when he was hot in the 80s. You'd have to write more material from back then. Because if you wanted to rewrite Kennison, you'd have to rewrite Kennison in the context of when he was hot in the 80s. You'd have to write more material from back then.

Because if you wanted to rewrite Kennison, he doesn't have cultural references. How would he know? We know he's dead. You train Chad GPT with some new TikTok references, some new comedy. And then all of a sudden you go like, and now tell this in the voice of Sam Kennison. Not only that, tell if Sam Kennison was alive today. In the form of Sam Kennison from 86 only that, tell if Sam Kinison was alive today in the form of Sam Kinison from 86.

Yeah. That's it. Right. That's how you do it. It could happen and someone will do it now that we've just put it out there.

Yeah, that's a very good point. That's a very good point. Yeah, I was thinking like you would, it's almost like if I wanted to see Hendrix play, if I wanted to see,

if I wanted to go to a VR version of a Hendrix concert, I would want to be in some some 1967 concert where the floor's muddy and there's there's dirty hippies around and you know and he's playing live in some club that's right what's it what's it called uh that's a holo hologram holograms hologram called uh that's a hologram holograms hologram did that like fizz out yeah i'm fizzed out what about nfts did that fizz out too those are hot again oh okay in fact i'm coming out my own collection great yeah um but you know what i'm saying the hologram phased out with tupac tupac

was too jacked people got upset yeah like enough with the hologram but it's also weird do you feel weird um i don't know if you feel weird, but I feel weird about it. When you go to a concert, not obviously your concert, but a normal concert, like a music concert, everyone is filming the act. Everyone is going like it's normal. And back when I was growing up, I saw the Rolling Stones. I saw the Clash open for the Rolling Stones. It was at the Coliseum. And I did a bad thing because I was obsessed with the Rolling Stones.

I took my little tape recorder and I actually recorded. I pirated it or whatever it's called where you tape it. And I drove to school on my bike and I listened to it. And I came in my pants because I was obsessed with, you know, Mick Jagger back in the eighties, you know, it was just like, fuck. Isn't it crazy when you look at him in the sixties? Yeah.

But I was just like, this is amazing. But you know, people do that now. Like it's no big deal. And the, and the artists just let it happen. Well,

I don't think there's anything they can do about it. I know. There's nothing you can do about it. It's information. I mean, but you guys did something about it. I know Bruno Mars puts in the bag. Yeah, that's good.

But what I'm saying is just with things that are on the internet, if you have some sort of recording on the internet. It's like this world is just too strange when it comes to digital. Yeah, he recorded his own concert, right? No, so this story happened recently. Coachella happened over the weekend or like the last two weekends. This artist named Frank Ocean,

his set was not streamed live on YouTube like most of the other ones were, but a fan found online like 450 videos of his concert and spent a lot of time editing them together and made the entire show available, like the hour and 20-minute set available through fan-found footage online.

Wow. That's pretty cool. Put it online, and now it's being sued immediately by Coachella for saying, like, you can't do this. But he wasn't even there. So how did they sue him? How could they sue him? That's part of the, it's a little bit of an issue.

And he, like, he went into saying, I think when he found, like, right away, they interviewed him. And he said,'m still i'm gonna leave it up and then they contacted him again he's like okay actually i'll take it down off my website he was i think he had it available on like google drive and a few other places for people to download but now it's just out there and he's like it's already people have it you're never going to stop this from being seen it exists why couldn't he put it out there? Because he was only at a festival. There is like when you buy that ticket you know you're buying, it's a contract.

For the people that were there they were breaking that contract by filming it. Oh my god, but everybody's doing that. That's where it becomes a very... Everybody's taking photographs and everybody's filming. Didn't the Beastie Boys do that a long time? I think they were the first ones. They did it on purpose

though. Yeah, that was like... That was kind of cool. I know, this is fucking dope. That's sick. And I bet it's dope. But how is Coachella losing anything on that? Why would they want to sue someone for that? I don't understand. They know people have phones and they know

they're recording them. Not only that, if that's the source of it, it's just fan-created videos and videos and someone creatively edited them it's probably a dope video too he downloaded 450 videos and he used like 150 of them to make the video he's a hero yeah that's great he's gonna get probably hired to do other stuff now i want him to shoot at the mothership bro it's set up we have it set up for filming you could film there great yeah that was part of the thing it's great putting it together yeah great. Yeah, that was part of the thing. It's great. Putting it together.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's one of the reasons why I wanted to change the curtain to the other curtain. I'm like, that curtain looks better. Yeah, no, I remember you said that. I think that's cool. I'm excited to have you there, dude. When are you hitting the road soon? Do you got any dates to plug?

I will never stop touring. Beautiful.? I'm all, I'm never stopped. I will never stop touring. Beautiful. Till I'm, you know, George Burns' age. I'll always do stand-up. So I'm just always on the road. Beautiful. Yeah, I just love it.

Social media? Yeah, just polyshore.com. Austin, Texas, Wednesday, May 3rd, Comedy Mothership. Woo! Yeah, we sold that out. That was cool. Yeah. So I'm here. I'd like to come here more often. Come here more often. Wednesday May 3rd Comedy Mothership Woo Yeah we sold that out That was cool Beautiful Yeah So I'm here

I'd like to come here more often Come here more often For sure You should And all these gigs are up Portland Helium That's a great fucking club

Fucked Up City But that's a great club Las Vegas Hartford, Connecticut Albany, New York Yeah And I also have this This is my new album.

This is cool. It's called Pauly Shore and the Krusties. If you want to put up my YouTube for a second, I have an album. Pauly Shore is making music. Yeah, we're releasing this

on my website. What kind of music is this? It's just all covers. It's great. Turn it around. Look at the covers. Wow. Yeah.

Okay. Let's listen to number two. A Whole Lotta Love Is that available? What's available on YouTube? I had Rate Me up What do you have? Rate Me

Okay let's go with that Look at this This is my band Thank you Thank you Thank you So this is called Pauly Shore and the Krusties

Oh my god Where are you guys? In my garage in Vegas That's hilarious It's one of the best bands In the world There's our neighbors Wave to the neighbors

So your neighbors are out there watching you perform? Do you have a crowd in the streets? People drive by, but most people, they keep moving. This is the house set next door to Nicolas Cage. Boy, I bet Nicolas Cage is super thrilled about you bringing all the attention to his neighborhood. Yeah. So we call him little baby Larry David. Yeah, we might rape you.

So go over there. Here we go. People at home, if you know the song, you're welcome to sing it. Here we go. You guys count it down. One, two, a one, two, three, four. Look at you with the slides on. Rate me.

Okay. Okay. What the fuck are you doing? I'm having fun. It looks like you're having fun. That's what it's about. I get it. So, yeah, we also have Pauly Shore is Dead.

That's on the 20-year anniversary is this year. Nice. Pauly Shore is Dead. So that's on my YouTube. So I got a lot of stuff on my YouTube. I'll see you tomorrow night. Yeah. Thanks for having me.

Have fun. Thanks for being here. Peace out. Peace out. Bye, bud.