The Joe Rogan Experience - #1983 - Kim Congdon & Sara Weinshenk

Episode Date: May 10, 2023

Kim Congdon and Sara Weinshenk are stand-up comics and hosts of the "This Bitch" podcast.  https://linktr.ee/Kimcongdon https://linktr.ee/saraweinshenk

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. Hey, we're rolling. Hi, ladies. Hi. Hi. What's happening? What's up?

Good to see you. Class of zero. What number were you guys of Tony, Kill Tony? You guys are class of one. We were OGs, yeah. The real OGs. Yep. Isn't it wild to see

what it's become now? I mean, it's literally like the number one live comedy show ever. It's insane. It's insane. We started so long ago. That's where we met,

her and I. We've been working together ever since. I've said it before, but I'll say it again. Tony's the greatest host of any comedy show ever He's the best

Nobody's better off the cuff Amazing He's so fast, he's so quick We owe a lot to him I feel like because he really helped us get our start We learned a lot from being on that show Being on Kill Tony when we started We were like

That's where we met you That's where we met Eye. That's where we met. I opened for Ralphie Mae because of that. I think Bobby Lee. Well, yeah, you opened up for me, too, in Florida. Yeah, you. When that started, I remember thinking, what a fun thing he's doing. You know, it's kind of fun.

Yeah. You just go do a minute of stand-up. And it's a nice way for comics to get a chance to like sort of think about comedy too yeah yeah because you're like why is this guy funny like what is this like sometimes people are just funny and it's like weird like weird manner like theo vaughn right try putting that down put that down on paper you can't imagine you could never my cousin got bit by a gay guy so we'll see write that down. It's true.

If somebody wrote jokes for you, you hired them. Like, I'm a really good performer, but I suck at writing jokes. You write some jokes for me? Like, bro, I got you. Theo Vaughn is like how Trader Joe's makes snacks. How does Trader Joe's make snacks? I don't know. What do you mean?

It's like popcorn, but it's also like a chicken salad. You're like, what? But it works. And you're like, what? And it works. And you're like, I love this. That's hilarious. I didn't know about Trader Joe's snacks. Trader Joe's, they say that the food at Trader Joe's seems like it's, Trader Joe's was made by an alien who didn't really fully understand grocery stores.

All the food is like really weird. It's just like weird combinations. Yeah, no, they have like this, it's like sweet, sour, salty, something popcorn. It's just like weird combinations. Yeah, no, they have like this it's like sweet, sour, salty something popcorn. It's four different experiences. They gotta get it streamlined. It's made by ChapGPT for sure. Either savory or sweet. Don't mix it all up like that.

Yeah, what are you trying to do to people? TJs. Yeah. I try to eat healthy for the most part, but when we were in New York this past weekend, we went to the Bronx. I saw that sandwich. Oh, my God. We ate at this place, GNR Deli. Holy shit.

It was insane. I saw that sandwich. I sent that sandwich to my mom, and she called me. She said, the sandwich that Joe Rogan just ate looked amazing. We got to go. We drove to the Bronx just to go to that place. That's crazy. We went like an hour

out of our way because we were staying in Manhattan and then we had to drive to the Bronx and then go from the Bronx to the fights that were in Newark. So we went like just to go to that sandwich shop just because I saw it on Instagram. Yeah, the picture was one of the best I've ever seen.

It was pretty amazing. I got a spill here, young Jamie. He's quick. Anyway. Yeah, I love to take a, I'll take a detour for food. I did something really fat the other day. Tell us. You did something fat?

Can we say fat? Yeah, you can. She means pH fat. Uh-oh, uh-oh. Sounds like we're in trouble. Did you see that guy got in trouble for just saying something be Lizzo-sized? No. Yeah.

Didn't that happen, Jamie? Didn't some sportscaster get in trouble? Oh, my God. Terrible basketball. I was in trouble for a few things recently. Terrible. I've never made one of those, so to be honest. Every now and then you look like a hero.

Yeah. It's funny when you miss. Well, it's different because you can't say Kobe now. It just makes everyone sad. And that changes the shot. Right. Well, when I grew up in Boston, everybody would say, Larry Bird. Really?

Yeah, they would do that. That's such a longer name to say. Yeah, but it was like, Larry Bird was the fucking man in 1980. Right. Look at that. Get the fuck out of here. That's sickening. It's so good.

Totally not good for you. Let's just get that out of the way. I'll do it again. It doesn't matter. Once a week for the rest of my life. I think it's just one of those things. You really shouldn't eat like that every day because you won't be able to stop. First of all, you'll be a full-on addict and you'll be consuming 40 or 50 times more calories

than you actually need. And you'll be consuming 40 or 50 times more calories than you actually need. So do you always give yourself a break or do you ever go super strict and go like no snacks, nothing good? Yeah, tell us your regimen. No, no, no. There's no super strict. Everything in moderation. Yeah, I did one month. I did the carnivore diet, like very strict for one month to see what it was like.

I lost a lot of fat, but it was boring. I like food. And a lot of meat, but it was boring. I like food. And a lot of meat like that. I like these people. I like their food, their culture. Yeah, it's an experience. I like food. Yeah, I like Vietnamese food.

I like Thai food. I like food. Food's the best. It's almost the best reason to travel is to try the different foods. It's a great reason to travel. Like, travel is awesome, but travel and then eating people's food. Like, eating Thai food in Thailand was fucking amazing.

We gotta go. Yeah, well, there's this. Thailand's awesome. We wanna go. You guys should go and do some fucking Muay Thai. Let's go. I know. Come on, Kim Cogs.

I know you can get into that. You're a mean girl. Oh, no, I stopped. You can fucking check out. I got a concussion and I stopped. I got scared. She's in her soft girl era. Yeah,. I stopped. You can fucking check out. I got a concussion and I stopped. I got scared. She's in her soft girl era. Yeah, that's good.

Don't do concussions. No. She's a soft girl now, Joe. Did you see Mark Zuckerberg won a gold medal in a Brazilian jujitsu competition? No. Mark Zuckerberg is a fucking savage. Can you imagine? This dude has been training jujitsu.

This is what he did. He wore a COVID mask and he fucking put a hat on and he hid. No. And he used an alias. Imagine you're right about to compete and maybe your first competition. Well, just give it a try. I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen? Worst thing that could happen is you get strangled by a super nerd.

I'm Mark Zuckerberg. So embarrassing. He's awesome. I'm very proud of him. That's wild. I think it's amazing. It's amazing that he did that. A few people have done that.

Mario Lopez did that. Ashton Kutcher. What's his name? Tom Bain. Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy did that a couple times. Hot. Hot.

Undeniable. Wood. Hot. Undeniable. You see him in Warrior? Yeah. Hot as fuck. Hot as fuck.

He could be listening to this. I just realized that. It's possible. Tom Hardy? I'm not going to do that, but you know what I mean. Tom Hardy, you could DM me. Tom Hardy, you got the green light. I said yes.

DM me, mommy. He was awesome in Warrior. I bought it. I bought it hook, line, and sinker. There's certain dudes that can just become different people. He was a different person in that Venom movie. It's like you believed he was that sort of clumsy character in the Venom movie. He's incredible. That got infected by an alien.

He's fucking... Just to pull that off. You know how hard it is to pull off? You're doing a movie with CGI. There's a CGI alien that comes out of you, a giant spider creature. It's a different place you have to go in your mind at that point. But he actually pulled it off. And he does it, yeah. It was good.

See, he's got, look at that, gold medal. Wow. Wow. Dude's fucking jacked. Wow. Strong like fools. There's a blue belt. We're both just saying wow in unison. I'm going to tell you something about blue belts too. That's like, by the time you get to blue belt, you're dealing with people that know how to submit people. It's just whether or not they

can keep it together smoothly. And there's various levels of that. And when you get to tournaments, you get a lot of the levels are like, the guys really should be a purple belt. They're really purple belt level. Some instructors are stingy. So for him to win blue belt, it's very possible

he had real skilled opposition. Not like black belt opposition, but they know how to do shit. For sure. Look at Zuckerberg. Strangling bitches. Actually, that's pretty hot. Zuckerberg, if you're listening, my DMs are open. He knows your DMs are open.

You can just fucking read them. He's in them. He doesn't even need the FBI. He already heard us. And this hasn't aired. Your fucking phone is lighting up. Every time his name gets mentioned, it goes into a file. I'm super, I think that's amazing.

I love when people like just, he doesn't have to do anything. He's one of the richest people on earth. And he just takes a chance and tries to get good at this thing. And then goes and competes in this thing. We should all celebrate that. That's amazing. But that's probably why he's one of the richest guys on earth because he just goes for it. Commits. He's focused.

He's streamlined. Dude, you should be like an Instagram motivational speaker. I will. I feel like what you just said right there will stir nations. Wake up. He just goes for it. He commits. Yeah, that's the thing. You just got to be that kind of person.

Some people just, that's their big problem. They don't know what to go for. So they kind of get stalled in the parking lot. Like which direction? Where do I go? Because they don't have me giving them motivational speeches. You need a little Shanky in your ear. Shanky in your ear.

Okay. I like something besides Shanky in your ear, though. I like Shanky in your ear. Shanky in your ear? Actually, that's a great name for a podcast. Shanky in your ear? Yeah.

It's good, right? It does make me laugh. It's got a catchy ring to it. Shanky in your ear. Yeah, if you ever want to do a fucking solo spinoff, and then we got to do the Kim Koss.

Remember when Kiss did a spinoff? Yeah. Kiss had like, I don't know if you remember this do you remember this they did a show no

Kiss Kiss the band yeah I thought they did a reality show they all I'm sure they did that they did but they all released

their own albums like Peter Criss had his solo album yeah yeah Paul Stanley had his solo album oh shit Gene Simmons

had his solo album Ace Frehley had his solo album and they all just sort of competed with each other. Do you want us to break up? I'm not saying that. I'm saying if we have Shanky in your ear.

He's saying Shanky in your ear is Beyonce and I'm Michelle. You do your podcast together and then you get another one on the side. I have Shank. Yeah, she has a podcast. Shank. It's called Shank. Why not Shanky in your ear? I guess I could rebrand.

Actually, Rogan and I had a conversation. The podcast is Shanky in your ear now. People who like it now are mad. Shut up. That's terrible advice. It is terrible advice. Shanky in your ear. It's funny for now.

I need to start my own podcast. Your mom's house, names like that, they just stick. Yeah. There's certain good names like Call Her Daddy. It's a great name. We love our name, but it took us a second. We had an issue at first. We had a bad podcast name and we

kept having to say it. And we would get embarrassed. Bad. It was bad. What was it? You say it, Kim. Don't look at me. I'll say it. I'll say it. Don't look.

I want to take my ears off. Sticky Kimmy and Shank. Okay, can we move on? That's not that bad. That's horrible. That's going to be horrible. Jamie. I'm not listening.

It's not the worst. Jamie, how bad is it? But now it's this bit much better job But now it's this bitch and that's so much better. This bitch is perfect. Well, that's what we say to each other all the time This bitch is one of the most fun things to say like this Tony Hinchcliffe when they say something nuts. It is. It is.

You know how many times I said that to Tony Hinchcliffe? We gotta get Joe our tote bag. We got a this bitch tote bag. Oh, please get me one of those. And a sweatshirt. We gotta get you a this bitch sweatshirt.

I'll wear that shit. This bitch. I will 100% wear that shit. We say it all the time. Yeah, it's a great thing to say. It's a great thing to say. Yeah. Yeah, and we get it

on each other's nerves so we'll be like, this bitch. It's kind of amazing actually that nobody else had a podcast called This Bitch. Yeah. Wow, you guys caught that., this bitch. It's kind of amazing actually that nobody else had a podcast called This Bitch. Yeah. Wow, you guys caught that.

We caught it. That's a good one to catch. Well, after we had to say Thicky Kimmy and Shank Fortin, it started haunting us like Bloody Mary. We're like talking to people. We were like,

we're not doing one more ounce of work until we rename this podcast. And then, and it was bad. We were like talking to sponsors and they're like, okay, so what's the name? I'm like, um. We did exactly what we was bad. We were like talking to sponsors and they're like, okay, so what's the name? I'm like,

um, we didn't know exactly what we did here. We were like, uh, you can tell them. There's been so many embarrassing things that we've done throughout the years. Of course, but that's the beautiful thing is that you can learn on the air. Yeah. It gives people a chance to get good at something that wouldn't have got the chance. So if

you're going to host a show on CBS or NBC, they'll give you a little bit of chance. So if you were going to host a show on CBS or NBC, they'll give you a little bit of time. Like, you know, Sarah's the next big thing. We're going to give her the Sarah show. Hi, everybody. Like Ellen, you'd be like Sarah. Yeah, yeah. Whoa.

They'll give you a chance. They might give an upcoming talent. But if it doesn't go well at first and they lose sponsors or the ratings dip, cut. What else we got? Oh, God, Dancing for Dollars. Whatever the fuck they could put on there that's going to make dip. Cut. What else we got? Oh, God, Dancing for Dollars. Whatever the fuck they can put on there that's going to make money.

Yeah. But with the internet, you can sort of fuck around and find your thing, find your voice. Yeah. And it's amazing because the barrier to entry

is pretty fucking small, like, in comparison. Like, they have fucking studios and camera trucks and fucking lighting and trusses and this and grips and everything. It's like every show that gets made by Hollywood, it's so much money just to put it on.

But you can just do it and get better at it. Yeah. Yeah. It's amazing. It is. It really is. Even like during the pandemic, I would just be talking by myself in the room. I'm like, if I was going to have a threesome by myself because we didn't know if we could hang out with people

well the good news is Alexa was listening and your boyfriend Mark oh yeah my boyfriend Mark hears everything so you were talking to yourself with him in the same place? I was talking to myself like just trying to buy up time on a

45 minute solo pod and I started talking about cartoon threesomes because I'm straight out of content. I'm like, okay, Betty Boop would. Felix the Cat. I think that's a particularly unique muscle that like Bill Burr has and Tim Dillon has. Yes.

And Giannis Papas has. There's people that can just rant about a subject and find themselves solo. Yeah. That's hard to do. Yeah, no. And you know what? honest poppets has there's people that can just rant about a subject and go on really good solo yeah that's hard to do yeah no and you know what it makes your stand up so much better and it makes your podcasting better if you could just talk by yourself it makes you feel mentally ill spot when you're done you don't even recognize yourself oh my god that's so God. That's so funny. Yeah. That's so funny. Yeah. The pandemic was a moment.

Yeah. Kim lived another life. The Zoom shows. I left. I went to Florida and partied. Zoom shows were wild. The Zoom shows. They were like, why didn't anybody tell you not to do that?

Yeah. Don't do that. Don't do that. No, I didn't do one Zoom show. And I think about it every now and then. It't do that. Don't do that. No, I didn't do one Zoom show. I did one Zoom show, and I think about it every now and then. It haunts me. It was like, I was just like, why are we doing this? This is, it's too much. It's too weird.

If we're all stuck, let's not do stand-up then for a little bit. How about that? I thought it was such junkies, though. Yeah. You know what the weirdest thing was? Late night talk shows where they're doing them from their webcam. Oh, and nobody was laughing? No one was laughing.

It's so nuts. I was like, why are we watching this? It's like someone practicing new jokes. It's like if you had a friend who wanted to say, hey, want to run some ideas by you? No. I would let them. You wouldn't do that for your friend? If it was my friend.

Yeah, a comic friend. Okay, yeah, yeah. They go, listen, this is just an exercise I'm trying to do. I wrote these premises down, and I'm going to say, that was what it was like. I was like, what happens if Walmart closes all their stores in San Francisco? Is that fucking... And you'd be like, that one sucks. Yeah.

You know, we could just go over them. My apples taste like Clorox. It's like, stop wiping your groceries with bleach. This is fucking sad. It was a sad time. It was a sad time. It was a weird time, right? But you know what? I actually really enjoyed staying home and just like me and my sister like started baking

and we bought a bow and arrow and then she almost killed a bird and we never did it again. She just pulled out. She was like, she's like a prodigy. She just pulled it out. We just put it together. We're like figuring it out. She's like a prodigy. She just pulled it out. We just put it together. We're like figuring it out. It's like going in the ground for me. She like shoots it once,

almost gets it right in the middle. She's like, oh, okay. She pulls it out. We see a bird. As a joke, I go, kill it. And she goes and clips its wing. And a feather flies off and it keeps going. And we both were like,

and then we just put it down and we were like, we're going to go inside. Maybe you're like a natural born archer. Maybe this is like a movie. Not my version. You just give her the bow and they're like, oh my God, how long have you done this for? That's actually the third time I ever did it. That's what it looked like. And then they just go, oh my God, she's a natural.

It's like Paul Newman in that movie about baseball. She's the Rain Man of archery. Yes, imagine. Yeah. It's just like you just have a natural gift. Oh, yeah, I don't know if I can do this. Like in another life, you were an archer. Dude, that's so cool.

I, during the pandemic, I got a mini trampoline. I was just bouncing at my parents' house in their backyard. Whoa. That's a lot. I was like, I'm going to live stream on the trampoline. I'm going to live stream and hula hoop. I'm going to live stream and hula hoop. I'm going to just trying to keep myself busy. I was very

mentally ill to be live streaming and hula hooping. It was tough on everyone. Yeah. It was a tough time. It was tough. I was in the live watching. Tough as a country. There were some moments where I didn't know if I was ever going to do stand up again. Me too. In the beginning, in the early days when we hadn't done didn't know if I was ever going to do stand-up again.

Me too. In the beginning, in the early days, when we hadn't done it for months, I was like, maybe this is it. Maybe this is the new world. Maybe stand-up is gone. Because back then, you didn't really know how deadly is this going to be. Yeah. Everybody was really worried that it was going to get worse. Yeah.

There's a lot of weirdness going on. There was people that had it and nothing happened to them. People that had it and got fucked up. And you're like, what is this? Like, stand-up's not worth it. Let's not do stand-up. Like, I remember I canceled one of the last shows. I think it was like the improv.

We were supposed to do a show at the improv. Like, the day the comedy store was shutting down, the day everything was shutting down. I was like, maybe we shouldn't do this. Like, this feels like, if we're going to shut down tomorrow Why would why we open tonight like is this what's happening? Danger like if we go out is this fucking stupid there's something about comedy and comics were like they fucking need it They fucking they're like just one last one before we go before we die I don't know I

Sort of I don't really feel that way. I don't know. I sort of, I don't really feel that way. I love stand-up. It's my favorite thing in the world to do, but I didn't feel like I was like, I did window sets. I did window sets. At the comedy store,

in the window. Like a little sad dog at a pet shop. I look like a whore in the window. People are just throwing money at the window. It took me a good solid

two and a half years to not freak out when someone sneezes. Oh. Yeah, I'm still sensitive about it. Now if someone coughs and sneezes, you're like, eh. No, now people still look. If someone coughs, the whole room looks up.

And that used to not happen. But it's not the same look up. Like we're all in danger. Yeah. I was in an elevator with a guy who was coughing in Vegas in the heart of it. This old dude was coughing. I was like, Jesus Christ. I'm holding my breath on the elevator. It's like

an exercise. I'm like, how am I going to hold my breath? That's how I used to do school when I was younger. You just hold your breath for long to get it. Instead of paying attention, I would just watch the clock and try to beat my last record. During the pandemic, did you see Jamar? Jamar had on

big goggles. He went to the CVS and he got kicked out of the CVS because he had on like snorkeling gear. How come you can't do that? I think you can do that. You know what someone told me? That's so funny. Someone told me that you catch respiratory viruses from your eyeballs. Is that true?

I don't know, but you know what someone told me? They got, that their grandpa got stung in the eye by a bee, and it cured his diabetes. What? That sounds like some folklore. What are you talking about? That sounds like some fucking Appalachia.

Beekeepers live longer than, like, the average person, because they get stung and stuff. Where did you learn this? And if you have Lyme disease, there's people that take bees and they put it into their backs and it helps all their symptoms. There's something about bee stings.

I have heard people getting a positive benefit from bee stings, but I think it was arthritis. Don't come for me, Big Pharma. They cut my throat because I talked about the bees. I keep forgetting that there's a... I'm watching this new Netflix thing called...

What is it? Chimp Empire? Is that what it's called? Yeah, just before we get too far, the viral infection of lungs through the eye. Oh, can you? You can. That makes sense.

Patients that are known agents of ocular infections, such as HSV. Wow. What's HSV? It's a really impaired vision and blindness. Viral infection of the lungs through the eye. Holy fuck. I'm gonna start wearing

goggles. So in that case they should have left Jamar alone. Because he was doing a smart thing. He was wearing goggles to avoid fucking evil shit. And you can keep your eyes covered. I bet there's some sort of paperwork that says that the people with glasses get less viral infections than other people.

I bet. My favorite was the people with a shield. But then you could reach under the shield and say, hey, buddy. It's like a cat hiding under the bed with her tails out there. What are you doing? My favorite video was just someone going outside with a mask on in the winter and blowing. And it was just all the air you could see with the mask on still going. You could see exactly where a breath would go.

It's so stupid. And it was just everywhere and muffled. It's so weird. It's so weird that we went through that for that long. Yeah. But we learned along the way. See, like, nobody knew, like, why doesn't a mask work? Like, in the beginning it

seems like a smart thing to do and plus it makes people feel better like you're doing the right thing we're all just trying to be safe but at a certain point in time most people should have figured out that doesn't really work like you can't have a bandana on and stop a fucking deadly fight you can't have a face shield on people People have face shields. Like, where does, where's that air coming from, bitch? What, are you, you don't even have a filter

on your face. The face shield was rough. It was weird. And when, when I saw someone with a face shield, I didn't know what to make of them. The first face shield

I saw in the wild, I was like, oh, shit. Reggie Watts had this hilarious get up that, we ordered a couple of them. These fucking things. It was a space helmet. And you put a space helmet on and you cinch it up to your neck and it's got like filters inside

And everything it cools you off to what? Little fan in there You know I don't I will say yeah, here's Reggie look at this I don't I will say Yeah there's a fan in there Yeah here's Reggie Look at this Masks

You know like Reggie was traveling On airplanes with this No Yes Well I would like that Because I do feel like Airplanes make you really sick

Well if there really was An issue Like a real serious issue Here's a question Like if there's some Fucking evil Alien virus There's no known cure

Yeah Are you gonna Walk around With that on No I'm going outside I'm. Are you gonna walk around with that on? No, I'm going outside. I'm going. Are you gonna just take it in? I'm going. I'm actually gonna rhinestone mine. I get that and I glitter it up. Like a

hot girl on a motorcycle. Yeah, I make it my own. Yeah, I get it. I get it. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't know. It's just like, who knows yeah i was nervous when it happened but now if something happens again i won't take it seriously i wonder what's gonna happen yeah they cried wolf on my ass so um yeah but nobody knew in the beginning right that's the thing like everybody always wants to point to like this person's got it wrong or that person's...

But nobody fucking knew in the beginning. The thing is... In the beginning, there was so much guesswork. There's always a threat. If it's not that, it's climate change. If it's not climate change, it's homicides. If it's not homicides, it's something else. There's always a worry.

Yeah. Yeah. It's never going to be perfect. I saw the nicest sticker the other day on a gas station. The grossest gas station ever. I was terrified. And when I got out, it was just a sticker that said, think of something beautiful. And I was like, that's kind of the nicest sticker I've ever seen.

It's not corny. And it is really nice. And it kind of helps. Aw. Isn't that sweet? She's in her soft girl era. I think the mushrooms are kicking in. You know what I hate?

I hate when Kim takes mushrooms because then she won't let me talk shit about guys. She'll be like, he's just a man. Oh yeah, she'll call me and I'll be like, well maybe he went through something. And I'll be like,

oh you're on mushrooms. Yeah. It stops the gossip for me. We're all just people. And I go, okay, yeah, that's true. It is true. Imagine if everybody

was on mushrooms and that was just like the prevalent attitude. Yeah. You wouldn't care if you've been wronged. Isn't it crazy that as a mass experiment, if everybody just took a dose, a minor dose, what do you want?

That stuff? I'll show you what that is on the air. Okay. Put that away. Okay. Jesus Christ. Gonna get us all in trouble. No, it's nothing. If there was like legal psilocybin and it was regulated so you knew what it was, it's tested, safe doses. Yeah. And everybody

decided to take it all at once. Everybody. The whole country. That would be beautiful. You know what happened? A bunch of dudes who are criminals would say they were gonna take it. And then wait and rob everybody with their arm mushrooms. It would be the worst case of love doesn't find a way. It's a great movie.

They convince everyone about world peace, but it's actually just a trick. And they just rob everybody blind. They break into the stock exchange and fucking clean out all the Bitcoin. And it's just like the worst trip ever. It sounds like a Guy Ritchie movie. It's great. I'm watching. Cut that out. the Bitcoin. And it's just like the worst trip ever. It sounds like a Guy Ritchie movie. It's great. I'm watching. Cut that out. Keep it.

Maybe not all at once, but if it was available to everybody and they realized the benefits, especially like of micro doses, just perspective enhancing benefits. It helps so many fucking soldiers. So many guys who get back and experience combat. It helps so many fucking soldiers, so many guys who get back and experience combat. They're all fucking wracked by all sorts of emotions and thoughts and lost friends. And that and MDMA seems to really help those guys. I was just going to say, I had a roommate in L.A. who did MDMA. She did like a weekend camp therapy with only children of childhood trauma.

And she came back like a different person. Wow. That's interesting. And she said it literally changed her life. Well, they know that it's, you know, whatever it does, that experience of letting go of all your inhibitions and. Yeah. For some people, it can sort of just reset the way you see the world. Yeah. So for soldiers, for so many people that have experienced violence, like that is so important for them.

Why don't we make that available that could literally help the world? And through MAPS, you know, MAPS is doing those studies with soldiers, and they're all very promising. It's very interesting stuff. But they're doing it the right way way and they're doing it through politics. I love that. Because, Joe, then we can't gossip. They need us to gossip. That's how they control us.

Gossip's fun too. When I did MDMA, I fell in love with a PE teacher for 24 hours. Wow, 24 hours. 24 hours. I go, this PE teacher's the man for pe teacher that's about how long you fall in love with a teacher yeah when you sober up you know maybe it wasn't love what would the world be like if you know i mean think about how many people that are on various medications what would the

world be like if they just came up with something and called it like calm and it was a micro dose MDMA that everybody took all day long. Wow. So everybody is like almost like they're tripping, almost like they're rolling all day long. Everyone's nice to everyone. Everyone's lovely. Everyone's friendly. People are giving you hugs at CVS.

They want everyone to do well. I want you to be happy. Everybody wants you to do well. Imagine. Imagine. I love that. Those two things we be happy. Everybody wants you to do well. Imagine. Imagine. I love that. We talked about psilocybin and MDMA. They're real. We're not making this up.

They're not fake things that some people have talked about on internet forums, but they're not real. Well, they're fucking real. And they're illegal. It's like that alone should make us go, what the fuck? When is that going to change? How are they illegal? It's 2023. But like Delta, that weird.

Delta 9. Is legal. Like, how is that a thing? I don't know. That's a weird high. I haven't smoked it. It's like a neighbor of weed. It's like, I'm weed's neighbor.

I'm going to tell you what it is. Come on in. Weed will be here soon. It doesn't seem like it has any of the ideas that weed has. It's like it just repeats weed's ideas. It doesn't seem like it has any of the ideas that weed has. Yeah. It's like it just repeats weed's ideas. It doesn't do such a good job of telling them, well, one time when he was 13, his stepdad was a real piece of shit.

Oh, weed makes you uncomfortable. Yeah. You don't want to stay for Delta. It makes you uncomfortable. It makes me like, well, it's just, it's an odd, it's an odd thing. It's weird that they can do that, though. It's weird that that's legal. Yeah.

I bought weed one time in Harlem from this guy. Can I say that? Back then it was probably illegal. Yeah, no, I mean, this was probably three years ago. When did it get legal in New York? Recently. Oh, yeah, so it was probably illegal then still. You were a criminal.

Yeah. I was doing bad things. A bad bitch. But I had always bought from this guy and I, and I was right before I recorded my podcast. This was when I was living in New York and I rolled a joint of it and I smoked it with me, my cohost, our guest,

all the producers. And then while we were smoking it, like before the joint was even done, I was like, I the producers. And then while we were smoking it, like before the joint was even done, I was like, I'm done. And then I was like, we should do a new segment and we should rap. And everybody was like, what? And I was like, we should like start rap.

I think it would be a good idea if we started, we became like a rap thing. And then I just started going off about rap and I was like going crazy. And then when we got on, I was like, we have to start the show now because we have to do this thing before the idea goes and I started getting crazy and then we're and then I'm like breathing all heavy and my heart's racing and one of the

producers who is like does a lot of drugs literally said into the mic I'm the highest I've ever been and then that's when it hit me that I was like, the weed. Like, this is not me. Like, I realized something happened. And we were on air already. I was pulling up rap lyrics and dancing to them. Those joints that they sprinkle the THC crystals on. Oh, I know exactly what it was. What was it? Okay.

After I came down and had them almost call an ambulance. Because then I freaked out on the podcast. I cried. I was like, I was, we were looking up the symptoms of fentanyl on the podcast. No. Yes. Because I was like, it could be fentanyl. I've never felt like this on weed.

And then I looked at the bag and there was a little bit of cocaine in the bag that he sold me the weed in. So I had smoked crack, basically. Crack. Whoa. And did a podcast. A full podcast trying to be a rapper. So you would have been a rapper if you had done crack. 100%. Yeah, no.

100%. 100%. I think I would also be a rapper if I did crack. Rhymeshank. That was my nickname for a while. Rhymeshank, I like it. I was rhyming. I was like, no one could be around me.

Make sure your weed dealer doesn't also deal coke and reuse the baggies. Imagine if there's certain drugs that make you want to do certain activities. It's like getting this crack and rap or just like, you know, if you ever see some lost kid from the suburbs, all of a sudden he starts rapping. Well, yeah, I smoke weed because I'm a comedian. I feel like if I would have drank more, I would have been like a mom. Someone would have gotten

me pregnant already. There's a lot of funny comedians that are drunk. That's true. I feel like we all smoke weed. Most of us. It's comedy steroids. It puts you in a, most of us. A lot of us. It's comedy steroids. Yeah.

It really is. Yeah. It puts you in a different state of mind. That's like what Brody would say. He was like, 90% of comedians smoke weed, 90%. And the rest, they're not funny. I've gotten some calls from people that used to be super straight-laced. And then when it became legal in California in 2016, people were like, oh, it's fucking legal.

It's legal. What's the big deal? Maybe a gummy will help me go to sleep. And then they started asking me questions like, what's the difference between sativa and indica? They text you at 420. You're like, dude. You fucking rookie.

Come on, man. You're smoking out of apples and shit. Listen, I was that rookie at one point in time, too. We all were. Yeah. We all were. In the beginning, you can't believe people don't know about pot. When you first start smoking weed, you're like, how is everybody not doing this?

When I first started smoking weed is when I started dating this white hippie dude that had dreadlocks from Portland. Gus? No. This was different. And all we would do is get high and eat pies. And I think I gained like 15 pounds because I was just smoking weed with him and eating pies. Do you guys know the story of Jack Harrow? Oh, the-

The emperor wears no clothes? The hemp guy. Yeah, the emperor. Yeah, yeah, the emperor. Yeah. He's a famous marijuana activist and researcher, and he wrote this book. This guy was like a Goldwater Republican and then met this lady, and they were smoking a little marijuana together, hanging out. And all of a sudden, he gets it.

And he goes, oh, my God, this is good for you. This is – he has all these revelations about it. Then he goes into the history because he's a very smart guy. He says, like, how did this happen? And he starts delving into the history of, you know, Harry Enslinger and William Randolph Hearst. And they conspired to make it look like there was this new drug that was causing all these Mexican guys. Excuse me. I got this.

I thought that was the Zin this. I thought that was. Zen patches. I thought that was that the drugs were doing. I wish they were saying that it was causing Mexicans and black men to rape white women. They were writing stories about this. And then they came up with the reefer madness propaganda films and all this calling it marijuana. They tried to Emmett Till weed. Yes.

That's right. Marijuana was like a slang for Mexican wild tobacco. It had nothing to do with. That's why, sorry to cut you off, but that's why I have like one of my black friends told me that black community likes to call it cannabis, not marijuana, because it's associated. Marijuana is associated with that negativity. Really? Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with the word marijuana I think it's a cute name marijuana sounds good yeah my daughter like to smoke some marijuana but I also like cannabis too it's like the names

aren't important what's important is like that people like this Jack Harrow guy see if you pull up that book because it's a very good book where he talks about he actually had this video that they had made in like the World War I or World War II. It was hemp for victory and it was telling farmers to grow marijuana like marijuana like the plant marijuana is also hemp. Yeah. Right. So what marijuana is is a psychoactive female version of a very similar plant. So now they've kind of engineered hemp. So it doesn't have any THC in it. Yeah. You can't smoke the hemp. But that hemp is what they were fighting. They weren't really

fighting marijuana. They were fighting hemp because it's a superior textile. It makes the best, most durable clothes. It makes a far superior paper. You could use it to build houses with. Why doesn't everybody use hemp then? It should be. But why not the switchover? Because there's a lot of moving pieces when it comes to things like this. There's a lot of moving pieces that are in gear.

They're moving. So hemp is now legal in the United States. So then the industry has to kind of build up and you have to have manufacturing if you really want to do it. If you really want to hire skilled labor to make hemp clothes that you built here in America. Now it's possible. But at Onnit, we used to have to buy our hemp from Canada because you couldn't grow it in the United States, even though it was legal because it wasn't psychoactive. So we had hemp protein powder and we used to have to get it grown in Canada. That's crazy. We couldn't even we used to have to get it grown in Canada. That's crazy.

We couldn't even hire an American farmer to grow it. Yeah. I know that hemp is also like the clothes are anti, it's like antibacterial, antifungal. What? I didn't know any of this. Yeah. They make hemp geese. Yeah.

What? Yeah. I have a hemp gee. Yeah. Datsura. It's the shit. Does it smell less? They're just real durable like real fucking durable like the only thing that's gonna break is the threads and they just

restitch it like that cloth is not ripping it's it's really fucking strong yeah hemp is a weird thing like my friend todd mccormick had a stalk of hemp on his desk. He's like, pick this up. I picked it up. I was like, what the fuck, man? It weighs nothing. Really? It was hard like oak, but it weighed nothing. It weighed nothing. It was like balsa wood. I feel like we need to get up on hemp.

See if you can see like a fat hemp stock. So that's the stuff that they turn into clothing. So they strip it away, and it's a very difficult process. And for the longest time, they were doing it with slave labor. And then when the cotton gin came along, the cotton gin made it easier to process cotton. And so it wasn't until the decorticator was invented. And the decorticator was a new method to effectively process hemp fiber with a machine. So they had this machine that's going to strip it down.

Because otherwise they were using, like, people were pounding on it and shit. Wow. So this was invented and then all the Reefer Madness shit came out. Because there was a thing, I think it was Popular Science Magazine. See if that, hemp the new billion dollar crop. See if you can find that. Then they had the two and they just chose the cotton because there was no drama behind it. It wasn't just that there was no... No, it was the

people that... William Randolph Hearst was one of them. So William Randolph Hearst owned Hearst Publications. Look, billion dollar crop. It was on the cover of the magazine. See if you can find the cover because it's kind of hilarious to see that, that they have this story about this

new billion dollar crop hemp. I Mean, it's really wild shit Yeah, that's wild Well, so now can can anyone grow maybe I'm wrong Maybe it was on the cover, but that's the story right there hemp the billion dollar crop God I swear it was on the cover But I have a fucked up memory sometimes hemp fiberemp fiber being delivered from machines ready for baling. Piles of pulverized herds beside machine is 77% cellulose.

So they strip it down with that machine. So they immediately were like, okay, now we're going to have this stuff that's lighter, it's better, it's stronger. It's really like a fucking alien plant. It's real weird. When you pick it up, it feels stronger. It's really like a fucking alien plant. It's real weird. When you pick it up, it feels weird. You ever been in a grow room? Yes. How weird do those feel?

So weird. Weird. Why do they feel weird? Like there's something else in there with you. Yeah. Like Hal is in there with you. Yeah. Well, can I tell you?

Hello, Kim. I have a lot of plants, and I feel like that about my plants in general. She calls one of them her dog. I have a lot of plants and I feel like that about my plants in general. She calls one of them her dog. I have this huge Monstera plant and I swear to God

it just feels alive and it creeps me out sometimes. Yeah. I'm not a big fan of house plants. You're not? No.

Because I think it's like little prisoners. I think they're supposed to be outside. Not in this little trapped ecosystem relying on you

to play classical music for them. Now I'm sad for my plants. They don't even get classical music. Free them. I'm not a fan of corralling up wild things. Don't make me feel bad that I have prisoner plants. I have to look those babies in the eye every day.

Now I feel like they hate me. They're so happy. They look so good and they grow so fast. Yeah, but you're feeding them. I have big windows. I bet they like it. Maybe they love it. Maybe they're like a house cat. They fucking love it. Yeah, and I heard that they have eyes. Did you hear that? Plants have eyes now.

They can see you. That's too far. They had receptors. I saw that, I don't know, TikTok probably. The thing is about plants is that they're communicating with each other through the ground. That's what's fascinating. That's so cool. Yeah. They're just starting to figure this stuff out. They're like this, they just, I don't know

when they realized this, but this is like the mycologists have figured it out. And all these scientists are realizing that they're allocating resources to different plants. They're sharing resources. They're communicating in some way. It's very weird. Also, there's like spots that people take pictures of that meditate in the grass and that grass grows flowers around it.

The spots that they meditate. We're like angels. I love that. They communicate with you if you lay on them. They do. They definitely do. Well, that's why people say when you take mushrooms, go to nature. Yeah.

You take mushrooms, go to nature. It's like, oh my God, these things are alive. You don't think of them as a – we're so – first of all, it's so hard to stay alive up until about, what, 200 years ago, 100 years ago? Oh, yeah. It was almost impossible. Everybody's getting murdered. It's just like – Left and right.

Every day is just slaughter fest. People are horrible to each other. Yeah, right. So you got to concentrate on what you can fucking, I just got to keep moving. What can I eat? How can I stay alive? How can I keep moving? How can I protect my kids?

So it kind of makes sense that you'll tune out. Right. The nature part. Because like, yeah, I can't be fucked with, with all this beautiful love shit. I'm trying to stay alive. I'm trying to get eat, not to get eaten by cats. Right. I'm out here trying to protect a baby

with a sharp stick. Now we can chill. Now we can chill. Now we can chill. One of the things I did during the pandemic was move to a very beautiful outdoorsy neighborhood. It really changed everything for me.

Sure, your own life. My mental health completely just changed for the better. Yeah. Spending so much time outside and meditating outside and just being in nature. They call it forest bathing. Ooh. Yeah.

I like the sound of that. I didn't invent that, right? That's what they call it, right? Forest bathing? My friend Alex just had a baby and she keeps going like, I keep imagining just like women that used to have babies without all the information. And they'd just be sitting in a cave breastfeeding. And like they don't know what the fuck just happened to them.

Like this crazy shit they just went through. And she's like having, she's like, it gives me anxiety because I'm so comfortable. But also. About how tough it used to be. But also a long time ago, women would birth together and they would help each other. Like there'd be doulas and midwives. And so it wasn't really, like it was more communal, I think. Still, not having answers, not having Google.

The secret to mindful travel, a walk in the woods. Visit these five destinations to practice the Japanese art of forest bathing. Ah, it is real. Thank you. Confirmed. Confirmed. Yeah. It's just walking through. It makes you feel good. It changes your life, makes you healthier.

Raises your vibration. I think there's something real to that when we're in an environment, whether it's an environment of people, you know, or an environment of plants, you're getting some sort of weird information that's not as simple as what you see and what you hear. I think you get it from people. You know people that you like.

You talk to them, you're like, that guy's cool. I like talking to that guy. And there's other people you're like, Jesus. Yikes. And you know, and it's not clear for, because you ever see someone that other people like and people you like, Jesus. Yikes. And you know, and it's like not clear for, because you ever see someone that other people like

and you're like, wait. You're like, wait a minute, what's happening here? That's the story of my whole career. Hilarious. Hilarious Yeah I've got no explanations for it either It's just crazy And you know the instincts Especially like you see things that

Are unexplainable like being a woman too Like you ever know that a guy is cheating on you And you're right and nothing told you Just a feeling What is that? I think there's things that people give off besides words there's information that people give off besides there's like you you can tell if someone's being deceptive you can tell someone's secretly mad at you like you know you know that weird feeling like i don't think this person likes me but it's weird no reason

at all that i can discern of yes you know You know, you get that feeling sometimes. I think those are real feelings. I think there's something there that's nonverbal, some fucking thing that they're giving off and you're picking up on it. And then you trick yourself into thinking it was just you being like, you're like, I might be in a mood. And then you like brush it off. You could do that. Then they kill you and you're like, damn it.

You could try it again. I trust my gut. Maybe that person was having a rough day. It's true. I trust my gut. You should trust your gut. I trust my gut. Maybe that person was having a rough day. I trust my gut. You should trust your gut. But you could run into someone that just got in a car accident. Yikes. When things happen like that and people get ramped up.

Yikes. No, no. People get ramped up. It's like that's why road rage exists because everyone's ramped up, right? You're in the car. You have to think fast because you're going fast. And then someone's cutting you like, you motherfucker! Because you're already ramped up. Yeah.

So sometimes you could run into someone and some guy just fucking T-boned them, ran a red light and screamed at them and there's a lot of shit going on and the cops didn't help. And then you meet that person and they could be too ramped up. Yeah. And you're like, I think that guy fucking hates me. That guy hates everyone right now. He's just pissed.

Oh, yeah. Right. He almost died in a car accident and i got it i got into the most frustrating road rage recently i did and it was just like fucking annoying it was like i do notice that a lot i'm not shitting on la i'm just saying that i notice in la the driver you're shitting on la but if i was la i'd be like what bitch i'll say it right now the traffic is bad because it has the worst drivers in the country. L.A. has the worst drivers in the country because they try to follow the rules too much and they're causing traffic jams.

No one uses a right lane. They're all scared to merge. I'm telling you, there's a trick. I shouldn't even say it. But if you're in L.A., you can cut the Google Maps by four or five minutes just by driving in the right lane. Everyone's terrified because they don't want to be rude and merge in a mile up the road. It's nuts.

Anyways. Boy, you're real specific. No, she's got like a specific beef with LA drivers. That's so specific. Don't get her fucking started. What do I call them? White knight cucks. If you think LA sucks, New York is like, hold my beer, bitch. No.

Because I was just in New York. And they're mad people. They just fucking cut in front of everybody. They drive like crazy. New York is crazier. L.A. The L.A. morons over the New York psychos. See, I think the L.A. morons are also like looking at themselves.

A little bit of that. A little bit of, does my eyeliner look good? No, they're like, there's a camera on them. They're trying to do too much activism, too. Get your motor on it. They stuck.

They asked you. Get on the highway. With his glasses on. I went down a rabbit hole yesterday looking for Jim Morrison's GT500. Ooh. Apparently, there's a lost car out there.

No one knows where it is. No one knows how it went away. Jim Morrison had one of the only, there was only a certain number of Shelby GT500s that were made during this year. I think it was 1967. And this car, he filmed this video of him. They made like a movie with it. They did some filming with it on the highway and there's like photographs of it and there's footage from it and he had this car and then no one knows where it went and you want it fuck yeah but i'm not just me see the problem with me is i'm the wrong guy for that because i think old cars are stupid i like to take old cars and turn them into cars that drive like new cars. It's like, you want brakes, guys.

You want real brakes. That nostalgia of bad brakes, you can kiss my ass with that. There's a company called Roadster Shop that did a 1969 Camaro for me. They take old cars and they give it a real suspension, independent suspension, full fucking giant six-piston brakes,

handles, drives normal, starts when you want it to, vroom, vroom, vroom. That's stupid. So I wouldn't really want it other than to say I had it. No, you need to get it. You got to get Jim Morrison's car, Joe. There's probably some, like... You should send out a hunt for it.

Send out a hunt. You should make it a whole thing. Like, if you find Jim Morrison's car, you get this prize No no I think it would be like If a comic wanted to get Sam Kinison's car Yeah

And a musician bought it instead He'd be like bitch give it to us You know I feel like a musician has to take that I feel like You know who should drive Jim Morrison's car? Who? Gary Clark Jr.

I don't know who that is. Shut the fuck up. Do I? You guys don't know Gary Clark Jr.? Do I? Do I, mama? I don't know. Austin resident, one of the greatest guitarists of all time.

Oh, he lives in Austin? Yeah. Oh, shit. We gotta get him Jim Morrison's car. He's the fucking man. There's a cover of one of his albums where he was standing in front of this vintage Cadillac, this fucking cool Cadillac. I was like, dude, please tell me that was your car.

He's like, nope. I want him to know, Gary Clark Jr., to know that my DMs are open. He's quite married. Lovely lady. I guess it's Zuckerberg then back to the Zuck not him hearing that now he knows he's the second choice no Zuck number one

yeah you can't do that to the Zuck sorry Zucky Zucky baby he's competitive you can't do that to him I'm sorry Zucky what's he gonna put you in Shankyiu-jitsu tournaments. He's competitive. You can't do that to him. I'm sorry, Zucky. What's he going to put you in, Shanky? What?

What jiu-jitsu move? A new platter. Maybe a triangle. Whoa. I know the jargon. I hang out with fighters. Anybody want any coffee? I would love coffee, please.

Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. That's good. But you passed me a cup. The princess. This article says it probably wrecked. Is that not what people think? Yeah, thank you. That's good. But you passed my cup. I'll hand that to the princess. This article says it probably wrecked. Is that not what people think? Yeah, they don't know, man.

They think it went missing. I went down a rabbit hole and this guy did a video of it. And the guy was saying that there's a bunch of different stories. One story that he crashed it and left it there and it got towed. That I believe. Whitney did that. At Avril Lavigne's house. I think her car's still

there. That sounds like a Whitney move. That's like a Mike Tyson move. He crashed one of his Bentleys and gave it to the cop. You can have this off of them. The cop was like, okay. The cop had a fucking Bentley for like two days and then they made him give it back. The police force made him give it back.

The Mike Tyson interview of him telling the woman journalist to stop speaking out of that shit was kind of funny I'm sorry I don't talk to women

unless I fornicate with them and then she was just silent she was like okay she didn't make another sound yeah have you seen that no but when I saw him at the comedy store

it was one of the only times I've been really starstruck was when I saw him at the comedy store I was like he was very nice He talked to me and didn't try to fornicate with me He was so nice he's very very nice believe it or not, you know, and he's a very kind person

It is a very funny thing to say there Well back in the day he was a different person and that's the thing that he was like most afraid of about even working out He said it he said he doesn't want to rekindle his ego And that's what he said when he fought Roy Jones. It was a crazy quote. It said, like, the gods of war have rekindled my ego. The gods of war have rekindled my ego? I understand that, though.

Yay. Do you know what that guy must have been like from when he won the world title at 20 years old to when Buster Douglas beat him? It was just a series of executions. It was one of the craziest things that anybody had ever seen in boxing. Everybody was so terrified by the time they got in the ring with him. They were losing before they got anywhere close to the ring. They were terrified of this fucking guy.

He was like nobody we'd ever seen in the heavyweight division. So you have to be extreme in every possible part of your life to be riding those RPMs. Of all the men, super athletes that are great at punching people in the face. You excel beyond and above all of them.

It's insane. Imagine how sick you are as his opponent. Like right before the fight, the feeling that you feel, it's like that nausea. You know. You're trying to be confident but you know. Oh, it's sickening.

You've watched the videos. It's sick, yeah. You've watched the Marvis Frazier fight. Yeah. The Marvis Frazier fight was one of the most terrifying boxing fights I ever saw

in my life. Because it was Marvis Frazier who was the son of the great Joe Frazier, former world heavyweight champion. And Marvis Frazier was his son, and his son was fighting Mike Tyson in his prime. And it was on ABC Wide World of Sports, I think. What year was this?

This had to be like 86 or something like that. 87? 87? What year was that, young Jamie? So it had to be somewhere in the 80s. Tyson Frazier, July 26, 1986. 1986. Want to see it?

It's horrific. Let's play it. Because it's one of the most. I feel like I've seen highlights, but he probably has a bunch of fights out there. Yeah, but this is the one that you should see. Because this was a huge fight. Because he was the number two ranked heavyweight contender and he was the man. He was on the cover of

Sports Illustrated. I actually have it framed in my office. Sports Illustrated sent it to me. It was Mike Tyson. It said Kid Dynamite. And at the time he was 19 years old. Oh my God. Look how young Jim Lampley looks. Oh my God. Oh my God. So let's

scoot ahead to the actual fight itself. The fight itself was, this is like highlights of other fights that Mike's had. So they're basically like setting up the whole Mike Tyson story that he's the most terrifying contender that we've seen since, you know, Joe Frazier and Joe Frazier, like kind of dismissed him in some sort of way.

There's some sort of a verbal back and forth with him and Joe Frazier. And so this is Joe's son, Marvis. Oh, shit. Who is fighting Mike Tyson in his fucking bra. Mike Tyson in his prime is hot. Yeah. He was 20 years old. So this is before he fought for the title.

You gotta watch how terrifying this is. Holy shit. He's a machine. Just right away. Bobbing and weaving. Jab. Big shot. Big shots.

No. Dude. No. Dude. No. Dude. Is one of the most terrifying knockouts ever. Ever. And that was when Mike Tyson became undeniable. Everybody's like, oh my God, that's the man.

And that man's father watched that. Yeah. Look at that. He did it so swiftly. He's out. And I mean, his punches are so accurate, so fast, and so powerful. I mean, look at that. He's catching them on the way down. He's out cold, and he hit him twice on the way down while he was out cold.

That's how fast he's hitting them. That's insane. There was nobody like him. There was nobody like him. No. I put that version of Mike Tyson. I would like to see that version against any heavyweight that ever lived. There was like a period of time where you're like, Jesus, who's going to beat that guy?

No, thank you. I would have loved to have seen it. I got punched in the face at Skank Fest, and that was my friend. I hated that. I did a fight, and this girl came in. No, that was horrible. I was on the sideline like, okay, I hope mommy's going to make it. She comes in. Lou is like, you want to fight? the sideline like, okay, I hope mommy's going to make it. She comes in.

Louis is like, you want to fight? And I'm like, not really. I'm in overalls like off a tab of acid for two days straight, like no sleep. And I had a concussion three weeks ago. And then he's like, you want to fight? How'd you get a concussion? I got it doing Muay Thai. Oh, no.

Just the first time holding pads with this huge guy. Oh, no. I didn't know I got a concussion. I got a, doing Muay Thai. Oh, no. Just the first time holding pads with this huge guy. Oh, no. And I didn't know I got a concussion. And then a few days later, we were sparring, and someone hit me in the back of the head by accident. And then when I was driving home, I lost my vision. And then when I went to the hospital, they said I had post-concussive syndrome. Whoa.

Yeah. So then I had a concussion. You were holding pads for a big guy? Yeah. And it just, the jolt of it gave you a concussion? Yeah. Whoa. Mm-hmm.

The pads hitting the pad to my head. And I could feel it because I'd get migraines after. Why are you holding the pads for a big man? I don't know. That is a good question, Joe. I shouldn't have been. Yeah, I wouldn't let you hold the pads for me. No.

I'd be like, don't do that. You could hold the pads for me, though, bitch. But you could if the guy was just touching them. Yeah, no, he was hitting them hard. Yeah, that's not, you can't really do that. Yeah. Someone needs to tell him. I know, I know.

Hey, bro, you need like a strong person. Yeah. Like very strong person. Like some of those Thai guys are amazing because they're not big guys. They're like these small dudes, but they're so fucking strong at that. Just that motion. They have like these small dudes, but they're so fucking strong at that. Just that motion. They have so much power. They stop these fucking horrendous kicks

with their forearms. I have a friend who just went to Thailand for Muay Thai to train, and he said just being in Muay Thai, being in Thailand as Muay Thai got so much better in such a short amount of time. I would imagine. Yeah. We were just talking about that in the UFC this past weekend, because there's a story of this guy, Khalil Roundtree, who was a very good fighter, but he lost one fight to this

guy, Johnny Walker, and then decided to go to Thailand and really immerse himself in Muay Thai. Yeah. And he came back, and he was a totally different fighter. We were like, whoa! Yeah, yeah, yeah. So much so that I had him on the podcast. I'm like, what happened? Tell me

what happened. Like, what'd you do? He just, like, realized he had to be fucking 100% all in and serious, and he went to Thailand and learned Muay Thai, realized he had some holes in his striking game, and patched them all up. I feel like I would go to Thailand to do Muay Thai, and then I'd spend

one day at the beach and be like, I'll be there tomorrow. Keep winking at them. Yeah, you'd have to do some sort of like a camp. No, I really liked it. I'll probably go back and do it again. Yeah. You got to be careful about concussions though.

Yeah. They're not fun. I'm just going to do it for fun and not so, I was like training to do a fight at one point and like try to compete and now I'm like, I just want to do it and kind of work out. But that's what's good about juiu Jitsu. There's much less of that. You occasionally bang heads and get a knee in the face accidentally. Selfishly I was like please don't get

a concussion bitch. The podcast will be shit if you can't think. Maybe it'd be better. Maybe it should be more reckless. She comes in speaking in a different accent like someone after a stroke. Like someone after a stroke. Lindsay Lohan in Dubai. She comes in she can count in Chinese.

Like all of a sudden out of nowhere. That is crazy when that happens to people. Yeah, like get struck by lightning like that John Travolta movie. Do you remember that movie? Oh, fuck. It was the movie, you got struck by lightning.

Baby Geniuses? Phenomenon? Something like that, right? With an outer. Could he read minds or something afterwards? Yeah, no, he had like superpowers. Yeah, something happened. Yeah, he became like an angel or some shit.

It's two movies. There's Michael where he's an angel. I can't buy it. I can't buy these two silly movies. That's what people should do, movie hybrids. Yeah, that's like Alien vs. Predator. So the one where he got electrocuted, That's what people should do, movie hybrids. Yeah, that's like Alien vs. Predator. Yeah. So the one where he got electrocuted, what kind of powers did he...

Oh, he became super smart, right? I think he was like a regular dude, and then he got electrocuted. And then he was in a bubble. He became super smart. Remember the bubble boy? That was really good. They came out the same year, that's probably why. Phenomenon and Michael?

Michael. 96, they both came out. 96. So what was the story of Phenomenon? He became super smart, right? Is that the premise? I think he had powers of some kind. I think there were powers and super smart.

He sees a flash of light. But he got hit by a lightning. He sees a flash of light. It doesn't say it. He becomes a genius. He sees a flash. He sees extraordinary mental abilities. He becomes a genius.

This is what everybody wants. Nobody wants to work really hard to be a genius. Everybody wants to just get hit by lightning. This was my mom's favorite movie when I was a genius. Everybody wants to just get hit by lightning. This was my mom's favorite movie when I was a kid. For people who lived in the 90s, this is the perfect movie. I have never seen or heard of this movie. This was my mom's favorite movie when I was a kid.

My mom's was Titanic. You got a beautiful, handsome man. At his peak. Nothing's really good happening to him. It's kind of boring. All of a sudden, he gets hit by lightning. He's a genius. Not the lightning coming slowly at him. That was the slowest lightning.

Did you hear the noise? Did you hear it? The man's inebriated. I'm not drunk. Can't sleep. Can you? What's happening here, George? Not the dog.

Oh, it's the best movie of all time. The dog picking up on it. Keep it going. Keep it going. We should have a, we should get barbecued and watch this. Yes. And do like a fight companion. Yeah.

And we break down this movie phenomenon. So I think they're saying like the aliens gave him a blast. Is that what it looked like? Yeah, because I feel like the same time too. There was a thing in the sky. Yeah, Fire in the Sky came around this time too. Oh, they were trying to do aliens. Fire in the Sky came around this time, too. Oh, they were trying to do Alien. Fire in the Sky is about this guy.

This is Travis Walton. Do you know the story of Fire in the Sky? No. Wait. No, but I didn't expect the bubble when I heard that. He gave it to me. He gave it to me. He gave it to me.

It was a gift. That's crazy. It was a gift. Thank you, Travis. It sits right here. Fire in the Sky was amazing. What the hell is happening? Well, it's this man's story.

The real Travis Walton came in the podcast and told us a story. When he was in his early 20s, he was a logger. And they were going down this road and they saw this thing. They don't know what it is. This bright light that came and landed like near where the road was. And so they got out of the car, they stopped the car, and Travis, I guess he was kind of a wild man, he ran towards the thing.

What? He got towards the thing, and they all said there was some burst of light, he fell to the ground, and then they panicked. So hold on, they panicked. They took off. They drive off, and then they start screaming in the car, we can't fucking leave, we can't go. We've got to go back. We've got to go back and get him. Let's go back and get him. They turn around. They go back. He's gone. He's missing for five days. Five days later, he makes a phone call to like the police. He says, I don't know what happened. I, you know, he tries to explain, he gets abducted by a fucking UFO

and they fix him. Whatever happened to him when he got hit by this blast of energy, he says that they realized he was going to die. So they took him aboard

and they repaired him. I like that. And then they brought him back. It is a fucking wild story if it's true. And this movie was kind of fun. Whoa, I want to see this movie. But the movie's got a lot of shit in it's true. And this movie was kind of fun. Whoa, I want to see this movie.

But the movie's got a lot of shit in it. It's not real. It keeps kind of explaining. But for the most part, they kind of got the story right, which was there was a...

And by the way, there was multiple sightings of UFOs in this area. What area was it? Where was it exactly? The whole story's so fun. I want to believe it's so bad i mean and the guys have the same story forever he hasn't changed it and that that's always interesting to me that this person would like tell this story their whole life i mean here he was now he's in this

okay white mountains northeastern arizona that makes sense because that's all those like portals the energy portals and shit there right right do people know about those they're in sedona we ran into some fucking weird shit in arizona the oh we ran into this okay we drove by it you girls are doing acid four out of five days no you could run into weird shit at wendy's no we did absolutely we did think we ran into bono at in and out once don't bring it up remember what i did yeah you asked for a picture it was okay first of all i thought it was bono for sure and i was trying to fuck this fake bono it was the bono impersonator at In-N-Out really got me. I go, Kim, sit down. Bono's coming.

She's yelling at me to behave. How close was it? Like eight out of ten? It was close. Really? We had a picture. I hope not. Have you ever seen Chinese Elon Musk? No, but I want to.

It's amazing. It's amazing. Qilong Musk. It's like if they really cloned him and they added some sort of dominant Chinese DNA. Is it a real person? Look at this. No. Jamie, how did you do that?

With the fake Bono at In-N-Out. That guy? You thought that guy was Bono? Fucking idiot. I was very high. Oh, my God. Look at Sarah. He's trying to look like him, though, a little bit.

He's trying. Is he really? Sarah has love in her eyes, too. Is he a musician as well? Yeah, that'd be hilarious. What we're saying is embarrassing. Look hilarious what we're saying because people behind us laughing yeah let's kill it kill it this is embarrassing i'm embarrassed for them you think that's bad fake bono that's the tip of the iceberg fake bono sometimes you get got by a fake And sometimes you start telling fake Bono about your projects. Do not bring up the audio. I'll cut it.

Your projects. Well, we're working on now. Listen, we just did this thing called Stone Science where we got high and we do science experiments. We're high right now. That is a uniquely LA experience. When you talk to someone and then they immediately tell you their projects.

Yeah. We wanted Bono to do a science experiment with us we weren't bragging we wanted to bring him on we had a genius idea while we were having a wild style fry what do they call them animal style animal style wild style yeah when you meet somebody though how many times do you meet somebody and they tell you all the stuff they're doing? So much that I don't even go there. It's like wasted time before we get to talk. It'll make you not friendly. Hi, I have an agent.

It's like, what? We just met. People literally say the words, what are you working on to me every week? And I'm like, what do you mean? Because they're all obsessed. But imagine, it's like, I want to go through the things I'm working on, a checklist of the things I'm working on to me every week? And I'm like, what do you mean? Because they're all obsessed. But imagine, it's like, I want to go through the things I'm working on, a checklist of the things I'm working on with you. Yeah.

It's a weird thing to say. It is. And I'm embarrassed. I also brought it up to fake Bono, actually. Yeah. Well, you didn't know what to do. You panicked. I panicked.

And let me tell you. Did you know he was fake Bono at that point? No. We were high off our minds. You're right. I thought that was real Bono. Wait a minute. After talking to him.

Is that real Bono? That's real Bono. That looks like fake Bono. Yep. Can we bring up a side to side? Fake Bono looks better. That's what my mom said. Imagine.

My mom looks at fake Bono and goes, fake Bono's nose is nicer than real Bono's nose. This looks like the guy it ended up to me. Real Bono's way older than that guy. Yeah, Real Bono. Looks rough. I'll just bring this up. This is their tour in that new sphere in Vegas. Oh my God. I love watching their shows from the 90s. Do you know what this sphere in Vegas

is? Do you guys know what this is? No. They're going to be able to do the whole thing in LEDs. The entire sphere, the inside of it there's all these visuals and maps and everything it's fucking amazing that's what they're gonna be able to do in there Wow yeah it's great this is like one of the biggest entertainment product projects that any company's ever taken on like this is nuts.

This thing is really nuts. So when is it opening? Later this year, like in the fall. I think they've already announced some of the dates for their show. That's why they're starting to sort of show stuff. I want to go see you two in Vegas. What does it cost to run a fucking show? The lights for the whole building like that?

The walls? Like, that has to be insane overhead. Insane. Just to turn everything on. Yeah, if I leave the lights on for two days, it's insane. So I can't even imagine at the Sphere. So they're going to have up to four shows a day too.

And how good is the software? Oh my God. What if it's like fucking Windows 98? What if it's crashing and shit? What if it overheats fucking Windows 98? What if it's crashing and shit? What if it overheats? Look at it. The outside is also LEDs. Isn't that amazing?

No, that's so cool. Wait, so the- The outside is LEDs. That is amazing. Four shows a night? A day, a day, all day. Look at it. It's going to look like the fucking Earth.

Wow. I think this is definitely rendering, but they should be able to make it look like that. Oh my God. If they can make it look like the Earth, I Wow. I think this is definitely a rendering, but they should be able to make it look like the Earth. Oh my God. If they can make it look like the Earth, I'm going to move to Vegas. I just want to stare at it. Yeah, same. Same.

I want to have the experience. Yeah, that's wild. Did you watch that Elvis movie? I did. That was sad. It made me sad. It made me feel bad for Elvis. Yeah, well, it was sad.

They're like shooting him up with drugs so he could keep going. The real Elvis me sad. It made me feel bad for Elvis. Yeah. Well, it was sad. They're like shooting him up with drugs so he could keep going. The real Elvis was sad in a lot of ways. But it's also he was traveling down a road where there was no map. That's true. There was no people that were that famous back then. No. There was him and then there was the Beatles. There was a few before the Buddy Hollies.

And there's some people that got pretty famous, you know. But they didn't get that famous. That was crazy famous. Weirdly famous. Weirdly famous. Yeah. He got to that. When he did that comeback special.

Uh-huh. And he's on stage. And there's the intimate audience with people. And people got to see the real Elvis. And then America, America like fell in love with him again like that guy that that guy was living a very strange in a very strange frequency that very few human beings ever get to exist in yeah no one had done it before yeah when he first came out people were like this man's gyrating this This is XXX stuff. And it's so funny.

Well, you've got to realize that television didn't even get invented until, like, what was it? 1930? What was it? What was the first television? Sounds right, but everyone didn't have them at home. Yeah. What was the first one that they invented? First commercial.

Yeah, a lot of people didn't have them for a long-ass time. 1941. 1941, okay. That was the first commercial television Oh that's not correct The first commercial television That's the first television commercial Oh they figured out how to make money At the beginning they were just like broadcasting shit

We're gonna do a play with puppets You can't do anything back then No one knew what was good or bad It was all new People would watch some of the dumbest things just because they were just like, I can't believe there's moving things in front of me. Yeah, that's crazy. People watched some really dumb stuff, and then they figured out that it looked kind of dumb,

and then they started getting better at that. But all that stuff is so recent. So if they did that in the 1930s and 40s, like the first TVs from 41, by the time, that was it? It was in the 30s. It sounded like, I'm looking at, it's telling me that in the Wikipedia, they had stuff going back into the 1800s. I'm like, well, what? Right. What the fuck are you talking about?

You mean commercials in general? No, I mean television. Boxes that have cathode ray tubes and shit. The thing that happened with Elvis is this is the first guy ever that is. Yeah. I didn't even notice it until right now. Roots of Fight. Get it before they sell out.

But that thing about Elvis is that there was no media before him. Right. So when you're dealing with 10 years before that, 20 years before that, you don't have it. There's no TV. There's no Ed Sullivan show. There's no nothing. So now all of a sudden there is. And now all of a sudden this guy is on TV singing these songs.

And he's got this fucking perfect hair and he's wiggling his hips. And everybody goes fucking crazy. Because this is so new. This is so new. They're like, this is sexual. It's so new to everybody except black people. Because he's hanging out with them. That's where he learned everything.

Yeah. That was part of the problem too. He's like, that's my cousin's dance. Yeah. Hey. My cousin taught him that. Yeah. He didn't know what to do.

And then the pills probably helped him alleviate his anxiety. And they probably kept feeding him the pills because he'll keep performing if you keep feeding him the pills. Yeah. And he's caught. They probably kept feeding him the pills because he'll keep performing if you keep feeding him the pills. And, you know, he's caught. And then when people, how would they even clean someone up back then? How do you clean up Elvis? You got to tell him you got to clean up?

Well, remember, they couldn't because he had that residency and his manager didn't want him to stop performing either. So that guy was working against him, too, which I did not like. Well, that guy was a gambling junkie right yeah yeah that was i don't know how much of the story is embellished in the movie but it's the story they tell in the movie is like wow whoa and i can't even look at tom hanks the same way ever since he played he's amazing yeah he played amazing and being that creepy old dude he killed tom hanks is one of those actors that can be anybody yeah there's a few of those guys out there and gals. When you watch that movie, though, you got to think like Michael Jackson. It's kind of a similar story.

Yeah. It's even weirder because Michael Jackson cracks when he's like six or seven. How old was he when they were singing ABC? How old was that? Young. He was a baby. He was under 10, right? Definitely.

See, pull that up. Pull the Jackson 5 ABC. It was 1970. 1970. Okay. So Elvis had already existed, right? And you already have big bands. There's Led Zeppelin.

There's a lot of very, very, very, very famous people. But then there's Michael Jackson. This may be so ignorant, but it's so wild to me that Elvis and Led Zeppelin are in the same thing. Ladies and gentlemen, would you agree? The Jackson 5. What a conversation. Is it called ABC? Yes.

Oh. Ladies and gentlemen, would you agree? The Jackson 5. He's so little. He's a baby. You say he's 11 or 12? Yeah, yeah. Someone there.

Did you say he's 11 or 12? Yeah, yeah, somewhere in there. I mean, come on. He's so cute. Look at him. Their dad's in the background like holding a belt. He finished the song. You gotta realize, those are all, keep it going, bro. You gotta realize, are we getting in trouble?

Is it gonna be copyrighted, one of those things? Okay, okay. When that young man was singing in front of his older brothers, do you know how crazy that is? You've got all these older competitive brothers that have been in show business their whole life, and all of a sudden this young motherfucker is kissed by God and has this thing where he can just fucking dance and sing

and it's so compelling. Could you imagine being in a family band? And being the star. And being the star. It probably made him feel a little weird. It had to be weird. I mean, it had to be weird. If you're like a regular person

and you got a person, like your brother or your sister, and they can do the same thing that everybody else in the whole family's doing, but they just do it better than everybody. Yeah. Like, how? Where's that coming from?

It's crazy. He's so little. Come on. It's adorable. It is really cute. Look, he's got gold rings on. Look at him dancing. Wow.

It was amazing. He was an amazing talent. And then he became like Elvis, like too unmanageable, unmanageable fame. Yeah. Yeah. I like the videos of whenever people jump on stage with him and then he just like lets it happen Michael Jackson does? yeah the Chinese dude that jumps on stage

and he holds him and lifts him up into the air together that might have been a setup I don't think the security is going to allow some guy to just grab Michael Jackson it seems like people slip through I don't know this is crazy is this real?

I think they lower the crane for a minute and the fan jumps on this guy. Maybe it's in China or something. Or in Japan. Is it Japanese? Look at that man. He's having the time of his life. Where is this taking place? Michael's holding on tight.

Oh, it's in in Korea So he's Korean So this is just a fan I mean it looks like They're in a relationship He's probably in a basement right now Working for Samsung Chained to the wall No

What did you do Look how happy he is This is the best moment of his life. The security who's about to get fired. They need to get fucked up. So look, they just grab the guy and maul him now. Wait, wait, why, why, why, why? I know.

They obviously have a moment. Because they know they're in trouble. And they have to double down. That's real. That seems real as fuck. He handled it. Probably sung the whole time. I wish you weren't on here with me's real. That seems real as fuck. He handled it. Probably sung the whole time. I wish you weren't on here with me.

Didn't miss a note. Yeah. Yeah. But that guy, he got into that weird stratosphere. He got, like, I don't want to repeat Tony Hinchcliffe's joke, Tony Hinchcliffe's joke, but he got so good that people didn't care about the allegations against him. That's how good, like, people still listen to his music.

Like, there's a lot of people that have, like, R. Kelly's off the playlist. They let him go. Dude, Woody Allen. Yeah. He's another one. People are just like, it's cool. And I'm like. He did his movies.

The movies won. Isn't that crazy? The art was so good. When the movies are good, the movies are good, sweetie. I don't know what to tell you. Yeah, it's a very specific. Annie Hall. Oh, my God.

He had some amazing movies. Yeah. He had some great movies. It's just a wild boy. Not a wild boy. Oh, yeah. I don't know what to say you know about that

do you have a lighter I do can I see it fuck dude shit gets crazy shit does get crazy what a terrible segue that is though

it's like if you're on stage and you try to anyway shit gets crazy I can bring it back to this oh chimp empire

it's cause no matter what you say about Michael Jackson it always ends with well the, the music was good. It's sad. Yeah. It's a fucking terrible, sad story of a life. But the impact that he had on so many fucking people.

But this, the camera work. This is what I don't understand. How did they do this? Wait, I want to see this. How am I seeing this? Yeah. It's so clear. That's what's crazy.

I don't know those are where they were i don't know how they captured it but they captured everything it's incredible this looks it's so good this documentary is so good it's a series i don't know how many episodes i'm four in i think i'm watching this tonight yeah it's so good it's it's so compelling so do they seem like little humans it came out on your birthday shank i know well there's there's certainly you know we share a common ancestor and you can see that in a lot of their behavior but they're fascinating just as forget about whether or not they're like us. Just they are absolutely fascinating. Their social hierarchies, they wage war on each other,

they control resources, they control where, you know, like certain bands of them are not allowed to grow into this area because it's their fruit. Are all those parts of them also like us, or does it... Yes.

Yeah, it's all... A lot like us. Yeah. A lot like us. My psychiatrist references monkeys all the time in primates. So these guys were out there just hanging out with them until the chimps got comfortable with them? Is that what they did?

Yeah, they're walking through there with all sorts of cameras and drones. That is so crazy. They might have stopped that meal because they ate a lot of monkeys. That's one thing about this documentary. What? Yeah, they eat monkeys. What? They love to eat monkeys. What? They catch them

all the time. This is like the chows. In like three episodes, they'd kill at least two or three monkeys. No way. Oh yeah, they kill monkeys every time they can. Chimps kill monkeys? That would be traumatic to watch. All the time. This is just wild that these people are out there with these chimps. They had a video of a cameraman getting dragged by a gorilla

into the woods. It wasn't even a cameraman I don't think, right? It wasn't? Was it? I don't know. It was something like that, though. This is some Jane Goodall shit. Yeah, like a film crew. Yeah, I want to watch this for sure.

This is wild. It's incredible. Smoke a blunt and watch some chimps. The footage they got is the most insane footage I've ever seen anybody capture of wildlife. The fact that these chimpanzees got so comfortable with them and watched as they waged war on each other. These guys like moved around with them and they let them move around with them. They didn't see them as a threat. They didn't see them as their friend.

And they did all their normal chimpanzee shit. This is like that movie they did with those animals. What was it? They put all the different species of animals together. Noah's Ark. Tippi Hendren was in it. What movie are you talking about? Tippi Hendren was in it,

and they put a bunch of the staff died, and it's the reason. Oh, that lion movie. Roar. That's right. Tippi Hendren. We were going to have a fight companion to Roar. Roar.

The first time I saw that, I was on mushrooms. Oh, my God. It's supposed to be the dumbest movie ever. It is. It's crazy. And they use real cats. And she had them in her house, Tippi Hedren. You can find videos in the 60s of her with the cats.

Look. This is crazy. These people are out of their fucking minds. Oh, hell no. Absolutely not are out of their fucking minds. Oh, hell no. Absolutely not. Out of their fucking minds. Yeah, we're just sleeping nice and comfortable

while our cats, who never get to kill anything, but desperately want to, don't kill us. How did the cats... No, this was the craziest movie to watch. This is so dumb

that they did this movie with real cats and they got out there and brawled with real cats. No animals were harmed in the making of this film. 70 members of the cast and crew were. I think hundreds of animals died, by the way. 70.

70 people got bit by big cats. How many people died? I think a couple died. Had to have. A couple and a lot of animals. Yeah, if no one died, the story sucks. No, people died. People died and she says that she thinks she lost her hearing because of it.

Bad karma. Bad karma? Yeah. Because people died? Yeah, my friend, yeah. She had hearing loss because of karma? Yeah. That's the Tippi set.

Maybe just went deaf. That's a thing a woman named Tippi would say. Yeah, right? There's these photos of Ty's house and inside she has like the lions just at home like in her mid-century modern living room it's crazy dude what are you doing what the

fuck are you doing how do you even live comfortably I don't think you really do I think you like the fear there's something about those kind of people that they like knowing that the animals listen to them even though they don't have to. I guess, but it's just like it's a gamble that you can only lose once. Like you can have a dog and the dog can growl at you or maybe even bite you, but it's not probably going to kill you.

Right. Most likely your dog's not going to kill you unless you're a real piece of shit. You know, you beat your dog constantly or something. Right. Some crazy, you know, beast of a dog. Right. But most of the time they're just going to of shit. You know, you beat your dog constantly or something and you're like some crazy, you know, beast of a dog. Right. But most of the time

they're just gonna bite you. Right. I don't think anybody died. No? God damn. There was a lot of crazy, somebody got scalped. Yeah.

Wait, I'm sorry. Scalp seems worse than death. Right? Well, maybe they sewed it back on. They could probably sew it back on. I assumed when I heard scalped it was dead. Because it seems like you're gone.

220 sutures. Wow. That's just probably like a scratch from a claw. Probably like, get the fuck out of my face, bitch, with that camera. He went back to work. Oh my God, he went back to work. If I got scalped, I would not be going back to work. Do you think they're addicted to being around those things?

They're just addicted to the fear and the energy? Yeah, they like that feeling. The adrenaline. Do you think you could understand that? Do you think you would feel the same way if you were in control of some cat? When I was watching Tiger King, when I was watching Tiger King, I was like,

maybe that's fun. Maybe it's fun to have a bunch of big, giant-ass cats listen to you. I don't feel that. I feel that when I see prison shows, though. I'm like, running in a prison gang seems fun. Look at this. Most members of the crew were injured. Most! No!

Including DeBont, who was scalped by Cherries. I guess that's the cat's name. Cherries. Not scalped by Cherries, I guess that's the cat's name, while he was filming under... Cherries, not scalped by cherries. But under a tarpaulin, a tarp, I guess. He received 220 sutures, but resumed his duties after recovering. Togar, one of the lead lions, bit assistant director Darren Copper

in the throat and jaw and tried to pull off one of his ears after Copper unintentionally cued an attack. Feels like we're reading one of Mike Tyson's fights. Oh, my God. Copper also received injuries to his scalp, chest, and thigh, and he was admitted to Palmdale General Hospital where he had to undergo four and a half hours of surgery. Although the attack was reported as nearly fatal, a nurse told Santa Cruz Sentinel reporter that Copper's injuries were acute, sudden, and traumatic,

but that he was conscious and in fair condition after the surgery. Holy shit. 20 people quit after that day. Yeah. After witnessing the attacks, 20 crew members left the set. I want to know who didn't leave. Who's like, this fucking job rules! Are you kidding me, man? I saw I got

bit. I watched you bitches getting man? I saw I got bit. They said the turnover rate. I'm watching bitches getting scouts. They let you drink. Bro, they get benefits. Dude. I get time and a half now that everyone's dead. That was a young Tiger King. Wow.

Dude, when I was watching Tiger King, I remember thinking, these people are crazy, and I'm watching it, and I'm wearing, at the time, like a cheetah robe, cheetah pants. I love a wild cat print. I think that's slightly different than the experience of being around them, but I see where you're going with that.

There's a distant call from the past. I feel like I have a little bit of the mental illness, if you know what I mean. I like the prints. It wasn't about the tigers. For me, it was about the clothes. If you were a woman and you lived like a thousand years ago and you were in some tiger skins,

you were a bad bitch. Yeah. Somebody gave you some tiger skins. Someone hunted that tiger for you. Fuck up a tiger for you. That's true. Make you a coat. That's how you show off.

You got that good pussy. I got that good pussy. You got tiger skin pussy. Flossing on the bitches with a tiger robe. You walk by some girls just wearing goat. You're like, ooh, yikes. You're poor. One session involved a leopard licking Hedren's face, which had been coated in honey.

Hedren considered to be one of the most dangerous scenes. She agreed to film as though handlers were eight feet, 2.4 meters away. They would not have been able to stop the cat from biting her. Oh, my God. In the scenes where some of the big cats are shot and killed by hunters, the effect was achieved by filming the animals when they were tranquilized for their annual blood draw. Oh, so they fuck with these cats and occasionally they shoot them and tranquilize them to draw blood from them. Dude.

So they're always on high alert. Because every year they get tranked. Every year they get tranked. Not the paranoid lions on set. Don't trank me. When I was in Thailand, let me tell you something about Thailand. Oh, yeah, tell us. They have these tiger sanctuaries.

And there's different kinds of tigers, okay? There's the baby tigers that they actually let you be around, the little baby ones. Okay, so cute. And then there's the slightly older tigers where they let you be around, and there's a bunch of people around them. And everyone's just kind of like keeping a track of this little motherfucker. Don't get crazy. And then there's tigers that are drugged. When they get after a certain age, the big ones, they're just drugged.

No ifs, ands, or buts about it. They're sitting there like this. No way. And you're like, oh, no. And then people go in and take pictures with the drugged cats. That's sad. It's like, I get you want a selfie, but this ain't the way to do it. No, that's really bad.

Yeah, it was a bummer. That is a bummer. That was a bummer. The only thing more depressing is the fact that Kim's keeping those plants inside her apartment. Instead of outside where they belong, bro. Set them free. Not my prisoner, Monstera. Let them free.

I'm going to get canceled for a Monstera. Free the plant. If the whole world becomes a city, what do we do with tigers? Oh, fuck. Yeah, if the whole world becomes a city, do they just only exist in zoos? That is a sad thought. Can you imagine how crazy that would be? I think we...

If overpopulation really does hit some insane tipping point with technology where we can just expand, we can make food out of thin air, and everybody's happy. 3D print a hamburger. Everybody just keeps fucking and keeps shitting out kids. And we just spread them all over the country. All over the world. Every patch of land. Every patch of land. Everywhere. They're just sneezing out babies.

More kids in Missouri. More kids in Orlando. We realized that once we're connected to the global hive mind, that the more people there are, the smarter we get. So if we could just get more people, the more people we get, we could achieve God status. But we have to have like an extra hundred billion people. But this is my question. Isn't the sperm getting less potent? Is that what you say?

Are you a connoisseur? Are you a sommelier of C-Band? I'm a sperm sommelier. I'll let you know. It's a lot less tangy. A lot less dense these days. Sperm's changed, you know. Tastes a lot less potent these days. I used to changed, you know. Tastes a lot less potent these days.

I used to date a lot of guys who were into kimchi. Let me tell you. Those days of fermentation. I don't know why the sperm tastes like skim milk now. Skim milk. Skimming skim milk. It's not a good time for morale. It's a bad time for sperm.

A lot of guys need to join a CrossFit gym. Pineapple juice. We need to get going. Yeah. Yeah, supposedly sperm's dropping. Yeah, so, I mean. But that's supposedly. Why?

At least by Dr. Shanna Swan. She wrote a book about it called Countdown. And it's about plastics, microplastics.astics yes BPA is taking away the sperm okay not just that it's like fucking with people's reproductive systems right great cool and there's some real evidence that point to that's what happens with mammals you know it's interesting that the tank gets smaller that's how they find out that there's some sort of feminizing going on is that in mammals that's one of the best ways to tell.

Like when you're looking at a gerbil, what is that? Is that a vagina or a penis? It's so small. Well, the size of the taint. Because the male taint is 50 to 100% larger than the female's taint. The gap is wider. You guys have a lot of land over there. A lot of useless land.

Yeah, a lot of free space. Space is like a guy's dick in his asshole is like America. Wow. It's a lot of stuff that you could do a lot of things with. You're like, what's this overpopulation? We could fly over the Bear Canyon. They're like, yeah, but it's a location problem. We can move everybody here.

This is a lot of space. It's not a space issue. You bitches need to make new cities. But anyway, it shrinks. The introduction of these things called phthalates, they somehow

or another fuck with the reproductive systems of mammals and one of the things that happens is that their taints become smaller.

The BPA is taking the taint. The penises become smaller, testicles, sperm count drops. Let me tell you, I've had some guys

with some BPA issues. but it's also with women there's more miscarriages. Whoa. Yeah, with women, it seems like it's harder statistically since your introduction of these things. It just got real when you said miscarriage. Yeah, because if you go back to when they first started having these petrochemical products, and people started having plastic in their world most of the time there's a correlating not necessarily causing but there's a correlating drop in sperm count that goes like this you

know it's the it's also like culture it's also hard times make hard men these are fucking soft times they make soft men soft men make hard times and that we're like in that whoa we're in that spot I'm sick They make soft men. Soft men make hard times. We're like in that spot. We're in that spot. I'm sick of these soft men making these hard times, Joe. Can we switch it and reverse it? Hard men, soft times. The problem is there's hard men in other parts of the world.

That's part of the problem. And they see some of the nonsense that goes on in this country and they're like, these people are right for the picking. Let's invent TikTok and captivate the younger audience. But like TikTok in China, like the youth is getting smarter. Their TikTok algorithms are better. And ours are just dancing.

Yeah, they're celebrating like science achievements and martial arts. They have a different algorithm. Here's my daily routine. I think kids are not allowed to use it at night, too. I think it shuts off from, like, 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. for kids. They tried to add a STEM channel to TikTok now to, like, make it seem like anyone's going over there. Listen, you know what you did. You're going to have to take away the funny video first because I'm not choosing between the two. I am fascinated by people's

quest for attention. That they'll find all sorts of different ways to like read naughty books with their glasses on and like with their boobs hanging out. It's so, like everybody's got their hook. Yeah. I'm the hot fisher woman and I'm the this and that and I'm the guy who lives on the farm

and I'll tell you what it's like. Everybody's got this like hook. The ASMR thing people would spring into the Love that. You know what I love? I love watching people fix things. Like take an old lighter and like refurbish it and bring it back to life and like clean it all off and shit.

I don't know why. It's so satisfying. Old watches. I take an old watch out and clean it all up. It's so funny. I have the woman version of that where I like clean TikTok where I watch women clean things. You have men clean too. I have the complete opposite. You like watching them clean stuff? Yeah.

Deep clean stuff. And it's viral. A lot of people watch, but it's satisfying. Wow. That's hilarious. You liked building something. I liked watching cleaning. I like watching zit popping videos.

Everybody does. Not me. Not you? Nope. Dr. Pimple Popper? Oh, the best. does. Not me. Not you? Nope. Dr. Pimple Popper? Oh, the best! She's the goat. She's the goat!

She's the one who recognized that there was a market for this. Yes! She did, but it's gross. And when I watch it, it makes me salivate. I'm like, yes, get rid of it all. Tom Segura has a real problem with some of them, because of fucking doing your mom's house live, which you guys have never done. You'll be so horrified

at the videos that they dig up. So every time I find a nasty zit, just some horrible one that she's got where it's just brown custard coming out in quarts, coming out of some guy's back. I love watching it. It's satisfying to know the germs

are leaving the bod. It's weird though. It's like, how'd you let it stay in there that long? That's what I don't like. Why is there a horn growing out of your shoulder? I started imagining it popping by accident in the wrong place, and then my imagination gets fucked. It's like, now how many pimple-popped things are there in the world?

It's weird when they pull ones out and it leaves a crater. You have like a knot in there. A crater. You ever seen those giant blackheads they pull out she pulls them out I want to see it but I don't want to see it because now I'm left with a question after the next TikTok rolls around what about what happened to the hole

did you guys fill up the hole I hate it did you just have a hole in his back now well if it's a woman you just put a little makeup to fill the crater and sometimes you can see a crater a little spackle when the makeup wears off. And nothing worse than a spackled zit.

If they come up with real gene editing that allows people to be whatever the fuck they want to be. I want a blue-eyed baby like that. No, like you now. What if they get to the point where we can change genes on the fly? I don't even know if this is physically possible. I know they can edit embryos and they can do things.

Like these Chinese doctors supposedly got in trouble because they did something to prevent HIV and it turned out to make the kids smarter. And it was actually like what they were doing was like this kind of experimental thing to... No. Yeah, and like, I don't know. We've talked about this and I still can't remember

how they got to the... How do you know babies are smarter? That's what I was thinking. You have to wait a solid 15 years on that one. How many years? At least 15. Remember Michael Jackson? He was 12.

I'd be like, there's something going on there. I was just getting to a testable age. I don't know. What about Michio Kaku with his fucking particle collider in his garage? He was in high school. How would you know that they weren't going to be smart anyway? Yeah. That the CRISPR did it.

That's kind of what I was thinking. In my hometown, there was a kid that got cancer, and they did something where they put dead HIV cells in her body, and then she got better. Whoa. And then I never heard. I read like one thing about it and I never heard anything again. I know they're doing something like that with cancer. They're doing something like that with I think it's the herpes virus.

There's something with melanoma and the herpes virus where they're using. I'm going to butcher this. We have to read this. I don't want to go any further. Everyone's going to go try and get herpes now. This is one of those things that a friend told me they did the therapy on him. And he didn't go into details about it, but he said it saved his life. So I said, really?

And so I promised him that I would look into it. And so that's what I'm doing right now through Jamie. That's also a funny way to get your friend not to make fun of your herpes. Bro, I got it because I have cancer. I'm just trying to cure my cancer. I wasn't being a hoe. He's like, actually, you're being rude to cancer. Isn't it crazy how many fucking diseases have killed people that came from having sex?

You really stop and think about it. Syphilis killed everybody. Everybody died of syphilis. Yeah. All the best things kill you. They're getting holes in their face. Yeah. I want to be killed by sugar.

I want to eat sugar. Didn't Al Capone? He died of syphilis, too. Syphilis killing... There's billboards I see for, like, super STDs now, and they get more powerful. There was a billboard recently. It was an iceberg, and then it had the tip underneath, and it said super gonorrhea. Jesus Christ.

Yeah. It's out there. Medication-resistant gonorrhea. Yeah. It's getting stronger. Who's to blame? I'm not. You can't get me.

Oncolytic? Oncolytic. Oncolytic? Oncolytic? Oncolytic virus treatment has become a new trend in the cancer field in which oncolytic herpes simplex virus type 1 is a therapy. Okay, so yeah, they are actually using it as a therapy. I have to find where it said that on the screen. Melanoma. Yeah, that's what this gentleman was telling me.

Wow. using it as a therapy. Melanoma. Yeah, that's what this gentleman was telling me. My dad swears that shark fin oil cured my asthma. Maybe dad just hates sharks. No, my dad's a fisherman and I had really bad asthma as a kid and this old Spanish woman told him to try shark fin oil and he did

and I never was hospitalized again. I never had to use an inhaler. Wow. Yeah. That's pretty cool. Yeah. What do you think is in shark fin that does that? But I've looked up shark fin.

It's not coincidental? No, there's something in shark fin oil that's good for your... It pops up on Google as a holistic way to fix it, but I don't know what... My dad said when I was a kid, I was in the hospital for like a couple months. University of Rochester, go below that. University of Rochester, evidence points to fish oil to fight asthma. Yeah.

Interesting. Omega-3 fatty acids, that makes sense. He said a little old woman in Puerto Rico told him that. Wow. And she was asking about me and I was in the hospital for it. So it's probably, Should you eat fish oil In asthma times of India Omega 3 fatty acid

Or fish oil Helps in reduction Of excess Immunoglobulin Antibodies That cause inflammation Of the airwaves Leading to an asthma attack

That's why I want A shark tattoo So it's omega 3s So that's fish oil You could probably get that From all kinds of oil That's great He didn't have to kill a shark.

No, but they probably realized that sharks were cunts. They'll fucking bite you when you're surfing. You know? So why not? For the oil. People love sharks now. It's like one of them weird things where Jaws had everybody hating sharks. Like, fucking kill them.

Kill them all. But now everyone is like, don't kill the sharks. What about the fins? It's their ocean. It's their home, not yours. Yeah, that's the nutty talk. We own this bitch. This is ours.

If you want to go back to living in a cave and fighting off bears. I'm like, guess who can live in both? It's my ocean and my land. Shut your mouth. We'll go in there with submarines and nuke everything. Did the shark build a tank on wheels and come into fucking L.A.? No. They didn't figure it out quick enough.

They should have been on the ball. We win. Yeah, sorry. I see what you guys do to dolphins, you cunts. Yeah. Sharks are monsters. They do that to everybody. Everybody they can bite.

Seals, whales. It would be cool if sharks could fly. No, it would not. It would be fucking terrifying. Bad idea. Sharknado, right? That's what happens in that movie? Sharks landed and bit people. It was one of them preposterous movies.

We never told Joe about the center of the world we passed in Arizona. Oh, okay. So we went to Yuma, Arizona. That's the lettuce capital of Arizona, in case you're wondering. Known for lettuce and dates mostly. On New Year's Eve, they drop lettuce, like a head of lettuce, like a ball. Anyways, that's a side story. But so we went to Yuma, Arizona. And on the way back,

we're driving by and we're in the middle of the desert. And we look and there's just like this staircase that goes to nowhere. And like I see it in the middle of the desert and we look and there's just this staircase that goes to nowhere. In the middle of the desert. I see it and Kim sees it and we're both like, we get this really bad weird feeling and we're like, we need to go back and find out what that is. This is a movie. Yeah. Well, we thought it was a movie too. We actually.

We go back and we go it was a movie, too. We actually... We go back. Yeah. We go back and we find this town. Can you show the whole town from like a... It's called Felicity. How many drunks have died there? Yeah. No. It is...

This is what we see. This is what we went to. This is what we see in the middle of nowhere. And it's called the center of the world. And... We did a tour uh we did a tour we did a tour because we're like well this is a movie we should film some shit because i was like let's go take a tour it's like an eight mile city called felicity and only a population of seven or something like that and it's definitely a cult yes but he says okay so he so in the steps we

looked up those stairs that go to nowhere from the Eiffel Tower yeah this is in Arizona this is in Arizona and this really rich guy he's a what is it baller he's a baller what a Rothschild a Rothschild he bought this town of Felicity and named it after his wife Felicity wait is this real? who we think we ran into can we make sure that this is real? we visited it the website is saying that?

we were physically there listen we get there there's 22 we made a scary movie trailer out of it I'll send it to Jamie send it to Jamie so we can show. They offered tours of this place. Oh, we did a tour.

It was horrifying. Why? They tried to get us into this cult. They put us in this pyramid. And told us to make a wish. What? They tried to get us in the center of the pyramid, in the center of the thing,

put our foot in the middle, save this thing and make a wish, and then sign a contract. And we were like, I'm not doing that. And she was like, well, it's the only part of the tour you have to do. And they go. To do the tour. And that's when we said, we don't want to do the tour anymore.

We're going to leave. And she was pissed. And then they said, she goes, this right here is the center of the world. No, do you have. I'll find it. I'll find it. I'll find it. No.

You got her on video saying this? Dude, we have this lady covering her eyes. Yeah, don't put that up because that'll be a problem. What? What? Like a video of her that she doesn't want up. She's covering her face. I mean, you can't see her face, but it's like you turn and she's in the corner of a gift

shop. It's this old lady. It has to be Felicity herself. Oh my God. They're all in weird clothes. So what do you think is going on? Okay. So basically. So this is from your experience being there.

From our experience being there. Were you sober at the time? Yes. Yes. Why? Why were we sober? Yeah. You're going to go to the first night.

We were driving home from Arizona. Yeah. We had just. You didn't know what you were going to find. We just did a show. We were on our way home. We were on our way home. We were on our way home. It was early in the morning.

But once you knew you had a tour. Once we saw it and we're like... Because the staircase, you can see it from so far away and then you see the pyramid and you're like,

something is going on here. 20 cars in the parking lot, no people. You guys are exactly what they're looking for. Yeah. Oh my God. Two young, cute girls

driving by yourself. With their big sunglasses. Just show up like, God brought me here. It was a sign. It was 2-22 and we had to stop. I saw the staircase and then when I climbed up

and I saw the city, I was like, OMG, I'm home. There's a post office there, but there's only 10 people that live in the town. There's a cop that lives there who went there to investigate

what was going on and never left. Wow's a cop that lives there who went there to investigate what was going on and never left. Wow. And then he lives there now. I'd like to watch. Center of the world. See what the fuck those people are up to.

Dude, it was an eerie energy. Maybe it's not. Maybe they're just playing golf and fucking listening to old records. No. How do you know? Because when you went there, you know.

Really? Yeah. You have a sixth sense when it's a cult. You feel it in your body. We had to get the fuck out of there quickly. After we got locked in the pyramid dome, I said, hey, it's time to go, mama. Get in the car. Mommy and mama are leaving.

Whoa. Mommy and mama left. Honey. Sweetie. Mommy and mama packed their blunts and they got out of there. We call ourselves mama and mommy. What was in the contract? It was just saying that we were there.

It's the exact time that we were at the center of the world. That you were agreeing that that was the center of the world? Yeah. So they're getting data on how many people agree? And then they took our names. They took our names. Yeah. And then we're like, can we film? And she's like our names. They took our names. Yeah. They took your name.

And then we're like, can we film? And she's like, yeah. But you only can say nice things. You're not going to say anything bad, are you? She, like, threatened us. Anyways. It just seems weird that no one has been there before and filmed it. It might not exist.

No. Imagine you go back and it's gone. We go back, it's gone. Yeah. There's dust there. Look at it. The chapel. Oh, and it has this's gone. We go back, it's gone, yeah. There's dust there. Look at it. The chapel. Oh, and it has this arm pointing.

To the temple. Yeah. It has this arm. Oh, it is. So what do you think they're up to? Just living their own little life? There's an arm. You see it.

It points right to the center of the. Living the way they want to live up there? I think it's like a really rich guy. Well, the guy has a crazy story. So what is that? His like family tree? What were you just pointing to? I don't know.

I don't know what it is. What is this like? Oh, they do this. It's like the history. They have like, it's called like the history of the world. No, it's the history of something. And they have like things that mattered to him. Major events in history.

History of humanity. Yeah. And the guy who came to do that on the granite, the guy came to do that from Europe on the granite and he never went back to his family afterwards. Yeah, he left his family. This sounds like a cool place.

Look at the guy. You guys are selling it. That's him. Seems like everybody who goes there doesn't want to leave. He's alive still. Jacques.

Yeah. Jacques, he used to, he was the first inventor of the parachute or something like that. Oh yeah, he was a parachuter. He was a parachuter in World War II. He was like, fuck this.

This is perfect. I'm staying here. He's a very complex man. A parachuter that bought a pyramid and put the Eiffel Tower stairs in the middle of the... And he made himself mayor of the town that he founded. Beautiful. That's the way to do it. Yeah. Shanksville.

Welcome to Shanksville. So he's got his own town. There's eight people in it. Yeah. Shanksville. Welcome to Shanksville. So he's got his own town. There's eight people in it. Yeah. Sounds like he's And me and Shank coming by. Yeah, and they give tours. Oh my God. So do you think they give tours

to make new friends? Yeah, new friends. Yeah. They took a part of our energy and soul, Joe. We left with a migraine is what we're saying. Something was up.

But they offer tours so anybody can go to this. I think so. Draw your own conclusions who knows and maybe they'll never leave just like all these

other happy people maybe it is it's just what a strange thing to do it was weird start a town in the middle of

the desert and say it's the center of the world self-proclaimed center of the world well actually is that what they say is it on their website

that it's the center of the world oh yeah I'm trying to dig into I'm trying to find he also made okay so claimed center of the world. Is that what they say? Is that what they say on their website? That it's the center of the world? Oh, yeah. I'm trying to dig into it. I'm trying to find. He also made, okay, so before he made the center of the world, he wrote a children's book about a dragon called Center of the World. And then he said, and he did the children's book first because he said, you know, like

when you make up a story, you can create whatever you want and no one's going to question it. So he made like this whole story about the center of the world. It was like a children's book. And then he went ahead and made the center of the world. Or he's a prophet. Or he's a. What if he's right? And it is the center of the world.

What if he is the center of the world? Trust me. Like what if it's like. It ain't the center of the world. We went. It's youuma. What if he's one of them Buddha slash Jesus characters that comes along and everybody questions him. Oh my God, he was the guy.

Yeah, the history of- It is funny for Jesus to pick Yuma. History of the world. That's a good spot. Yeah. No one would know. It's a good spot, you know? Kind of underrated.

Weddings? Imagine getting married at the center of the world. Why wouldn't you? You're the center of the universe. You should get married at the center of the world. That's kind of? You're the center of the universe. You should get married at the center of the world. That's kind of romantic. You're right. It's a perfect place to get married.

I'm not giving jock about it. There's the children's book. Oh, the good dragon at the center of the world. So this dude is obsessed with hollow earth. It's a real theory. Do you know that they found more water under the ocean? Under the earth's surface? That's the thing he wanted us to step. Oh, that's the center. That. That's one of the things who wanted us to step

on that thing. That is the very center of the world. But I know that it actually is. No. No, 100%. They checked and that's it.

Even the Tupperware cam. It just happens to be there. Even though the top is here and it's like there's poles, whatever. That's the center. That's the center. Everywhere you are

is the center of the fucking universe. It's a globe, you fucking dipshit. I guess you're right. That's the center. That's the center. Everywhere you are is a center. It's a globe, you fucking dipshits. I guess you're right. Not really. It's not like a total globe, right? It's a spheroid. Well, that was his whole point, was that anywhere could be, so he was picking the spot. Yeah.

Suck it. You're like, this is actually. You don't get to pick. Scientists have to pick. If they do decide what the center is, it's going to be a lot of very fucking smart people with some serious equipment. It's going to take a long time. They're going to have to sort it through.

Not a rich parachuter. The center is in the lava, you fuckhead. I believe that. You want to go to the center? You got to go to the center. You're on the surface. You're on the edge of the world. It literally can't be the center of the world.

No. You're on the corner of the world. the edge of the world. It literally can't be the center of the world. No. You're on the corner of the world. The center of the world is inside the hole. But maybe they're right about it being the spot. Maybe they're right. If it's flat. You never know. If it's flat, there's a center.

If it's flat. That's the wild one. It's the wild one. How many people believe that? That is a crazy thing to think that all those people are lying. Everybody ever. All the people that have been up there, all the people that have invented satellites. I got to tell you, though.

All the people that put telescopes into orbit. If you grew up with liars, it's not that crazy. If you grew up with people that lie to you all the time, it's not that crazy to believe that other people lie to you as well. No one would want the world to be flat more than me. I think it would be hilarious. I feel like you would. I think it would be hilarious if this whole thing was God playing a joke on us.

Oh, yeah. Oh, you figured out space, did you? Oh, did you figure out space? Congratulations. What, you sent a telescope up into my fake sky that I created to fool you? He's like, I changed the scope in the sky. You dummy.

I showed you what I wanted you to see. That's why you're seeing UFOs. That's technological Jesus. Technological Jesus? That's what it is for me. It's tech Jesus.

I'm hoping for tech Jesus to rescue us. He just comes in with house music. Not Jesus coming in with house music to pick Jesus coming in with house music to pick us up. Such a fucking silly time

for human beings. Such a silly time. For no reason. I feel like there are always spurts of a lot of UFO sightings at once. Like they come out of... My mom and my stepdad swear they had a UFO experience in Costa Rica.

Where they were recording and they said that their camcorder shut off and they said all the sounds around them, they were walking to a waterfall. They said everything stopped. They were like the birds stopped, the music stopped. They said the water stopped. It went dead silent and the camera stopped and they had the footage of the camera stopping and then everything came back on like five seconds later. Nothing. They saw nothing. They said my mom mom thought she something was medically wrong with her she was

like i thought something was happening to my hearing and then i looked over and she was like your stepdad like was pale because like everything just went like dead and then came back like 10 seconds later and then they can hear the kids and and like the people and the tourists i would not like it if my experience my life experience just got muted in real time. Yeah. And then came back. You guys should watch this movie, Moment of Contact. What is it?

It's a movie about a crash in Brazil. I'm scared. In 1996. Okay. In Varginha, Brazil. Okay. And by the guy, James Fox, who made The Phenomenon, which is another amazing movie on UFOs. But this movie that he made about Virginia, Brazil, the crash is very heavily documented.

There's documentation of U.S. Air Force flying in and supposedly picking something up that they think was wreckage or something like that and flying out with it. that they think was wreckage or something like that and flying out with it. There's one of the soldiers apparently had picked up one of the organisms that was there and they carried it in their car and drove it to some hospital and to another hospital. They have documentation of them taking this thing in.

They have the people that did the autopsy on the soldier who died of some insane infection that they had never seen ever before. He died of some insane bacteria. He's like seen ever before. He died of some insane bacteria. He's like a young guy. He was dead very quickly. He should have been wearing glasses. Ah, goggles.

Goggles. Not a goggle callback. But if you're into UFOs, this is one of the best ones I've ever seen. It's really interesting. That sounds cool. Because the whole town is convinced that this happened. There's so many people that have that have witnessed experience that they say it's like the whole town revolves around this.

Like there's a lore to it that revolves around this one time where this UFO crashed. It's so crazy. It's fucking wild because when you see these people and you see the people that like when it happened like when they put a camera on and they brought this guy back to the crash site and the guy starts crying he's like weeping talking about where it was and like what it was like to see this thing it's fucking crazy

I get scared I feel like whenever we watch things about them I feel like they like the plant thing you said I feel like they know like Zuck like Elon and Zuck they're playing us from both sides exactly like zuck like they know like they're the biden of trump fucking super aliens i used to feel like that when i watched alien movies i feel like i feel like they can feel us watching them they like it well if i was an alien that's how i would do it i would infiltrate and i would uh take little little people and I'd put alien thoughts into their little minds

I like some alien thoughts. Maybe that's what thoughts are Maybe thoughts are like a life form. We just don't appreciate whoa Think of ideas right if everything that we have in front of us Yeah, the table the mugs the microscope the microphones rather the phones that you text each other on. All those came from ideas. Somebody had an idea and then physical reality came out of that idea and they made a thing. And then more ideas come and then you make more things. And you say, look at all the things that I've done. Look at all the things that I've done.

It kind of feels like that with a joke too. Yes. When people are like, where does a joke come from? And I'm like, I've explained it once or twice, and I'm like, it literally like, I don't know. Mine's always like at 2 in the morning, and I'm like, fuck, it's not funny. Go back to bed, bitch.

Jeez. Then I'm like, it's funny. I've got to get up and write this shit down. If you don't get up and write this shit down, you'll never sleep. You'll look like such a loser. I know. I was in the middle of saying something the other day,

and someone interrupted me, and it slipped through my fingers. It's been driving me crazy for like two days. That's the worst. What is that? I knew there was something there. There's like this spark. I was like, oh, that's how to. And then someone else was asking me questions.

You solved the answer to why we were here for a second. It was just a joke. And then some dude's like, so how are you liking Austin? Where's best pizza? Is Terry Black's really it? Some dude came up to me the other day. He goes, what do you do for discipline? How do you get discipline?

You don't get it from this conversation. My favorite thing to do is when people are like, how do you think your jokes? I go like this. It just stops the whole conversation. You point to this guy and they don't ask you another question. I get them from Jesus. They're like, okay, weirdo. Imagine if it was real.

No, it might be the answer. You can't say this guy? Yeah. Well, if you do have a muse. If you do think that your creativity comes from a muse, it will work if you just treat it like it's a muse. That's the whole premise of the Steven Pressfield book, The War of Art. I haven't read that one. It's a great book.

I just started reading the Rick Rubin one. Yeah, we've got a stack of them. It's a very small book. It's a real easy read. But it's basically like if you just treat it like, you know, there was always the concept of the muse that some, like, deity comes to you and bestows upon you these ideas. Pressfield's argument is that, like, if you just treat it like it is a muse, if you really pay respects to it and show up every day and try to communicate with the muse, it will show up.

It's real. It's actually real, yeah. It is real. It is real. But what is it? Is it your – is that a – like the idea of a muse, is that just a scaffolding that we can put up to support our – the reality that we know is that hard work and concentration and just immersing yourself in this task will eventually yield results. Just like everything else.

Right. Just getting in shape by – like, you want to learn how to swim, you have to swim. If you want ideas, you got to sit down and work on ideas. Yeah, but whatever it is, it already exists. And then when you put yourself in that space, you just open up yourself to, like, receive it. Yeah. You get in flow when you're in flow state. Yeah.

But that's the thing. It's like, what is it? Like, when you come up with a good joke, when you have, like, this idea, when you're in your car and you're like, ah. It's in the car a lot. It is a lot. A lot? Especially if you have the radio off. like, ah. It's in the car a lot. It is a lot. A lot? Especially if you have the radio off. Yes.

Yes. Driving in silence is huge for me. In the car, in the shower, in bed. Those are my three spots. This car that I used to love to drive to the comedy store. This 1993 Porsche RS America. It has no power steering. It has no radio.

It has no air. It has awesome brakes. It has no radio. It's not even that awesome brakes it has no radio it's not even that fast but it's just this raw mechanical thing and when i drive it there's no music i just think and you're uh you're heightened your senses are heightened because the sound's like because it's like holding on to the steering wheel because there's no power steering so you know fuck it's almost like a med yeah yeah because you're in you're tapping into that flow like state and you're present and you're exciting yes it's exciting that's what i'm driving is meditative

you ever get somewhere definitely you ever get somewhere and you're like i don't even right i don't know who was behind the wheel especially if you're in a good place someone drove not me let's not go fast let's just chill let's just when you're in a good place. Someone drove, not me. Let's not go fast. Let's just chill. Let's just get there. When you're chill driving. Normal speed. Normal speed. Accept the time.

Don't get in the left lane. Don't get in the left lane, you fucking psycho. Don't you do it. Why are you going 90? Why are you going 90, Kim? I'm getting excited. Where are you girls living now? I live in Hollywood still. Still living in Hollywood? Do you drive a lot? Yeah? I live in Hollywood.

Still living in Hollywood? Do you drive a lot? Yeah, I live in a canyon. You live in a canyon? Yes. You need something like a Mustang. You need a modern Mustang. You need something fast.

Kim Congdon. No, she doesn't. I think you do. This bitch does not need a need for speed. I want a truck. Not me. I'll take a F speed. I want to I like I want a truck Not me I'll take a Fiat Small a mini Cooper small red like a Tacoma Yeah, like a pickup truck truck. Yeah, and I want to like a cute truck a cute truck

Okay, Chuck a vintage truck red Chevy old red Chevy Like a 56 something I could wear this jumpsuit A cute truck. A vintage truck. A vintage truck. A small red Chevy. Like an old Bronco. Like an old red Chevy. Oh, like an old Blazer. Like a 56. Yeah, something I could wear this jumpsuit in. Those are unwieldy. They what? They're unwieldy. What does that mean?

They're very difficult to drive. Yeah, they're just in movies for when you're teaching a girl to drive on some back road. No, like if you get an old- In a country song. The reality is if you get an old car like that, it's going to have old car steering. And it's,

they're not fun to drive. It's like very sloppy. You want power steering, bitch. Oh, look how cute that is. No, it'll have power steering. Oh, I don't know. It's like, you know, power steering

from whatever year that is. The one to the right in the middle. That one. Yes. What year is that? I want something like that. It says old.

It doesn't even know what year it is. What year do that? I want something like that. It says old. It doesn't even know what year it is. What year do you think that is? Let's Google 1964. Okay, 64. Let's go 1964 Chevy truck. Let's see what they look like.

Ooh. That might be it. You might be onto something. Those are fresh. Look at that thing. Like how clean is that to pull up in that? Oh, look at that one in the upper left-hand corner. Joe, don't get it. It'll hurt me. Look at the one in the upper left- are fresh. Look at that thing. Like, how clean is that to pull up in that? Oh, look at that one in the upper left-hand corner. Joe, don't get it. It'll hurt me. Look at the one in the upper left-hand corner.

I can hear him. Look at that. Joe, get Jim Morrison. Yeah, that's what I want. Oh, look at that thing. Look at that thing. That is so cute. It is so cute, right?

Like, I want to go to the farmer's market in that bitch. I know. I want to buy flowers and have it sitting in the passenger seat. You'd be that wacky lady who writes jokes. Sunflowers. She drives around writes jokes. Sunflowers. She drives around. With sunflowers in her Chevy. I think Whitney just got a really beautiful truck like that, too.

A brown one. She probably doesn't even remember. No. She left it at Avril Lavigne's. She left it wherever Jim Morrison's Mustang is. She has the Mustang, by the way. She probably does. If you're looking for Jim Morrison's Mustang.

I'm surprised for you. She's going to find it. She put it in Whitney's dog, her dog house. It's her dog bed. He sleeps in it at night. We'll just stick her on this project. She'll figure it out. She'll find it.

She will. She'll fucking have her hair staying out of the top of her head. But she'll have the truck. She'll know where it is. She'll know where it is. We need her to find Morrison's Mustang. That's it. Just make her do a documentary on it.

She'll fucking find it. She'll find it it she'll find it she'll find that fucking Mustang who's got the fucking Mustang who's got the Mustang she'll like trace it down there's only 2,000 of them it wasn't that hard

that's exactly what she'd say she would just go into this fucking graph of who it literally say it wasn't that hard yeah he's dead

so we checked his property I did that last night in the middle of the night. She's got fucking night vision on and shit. Where do you find a Mustang? A garage, you idiot. She's like talking to you like you couldn't find it. And while I was there, on my way there, I did rescue a wolf.

I have a new piglet. I hope it gets along with my pit bulls. Yeah, she's crazy. But that barn find thing is a real thing they find people like leave these cars in their barns that are vintage beautiful cars

that are worth like shit tons of money let's go barn hunting yeah there's a thing called barn finds barn diving that's what a barn diving

dumpster diving you don't have to dive no they're like they find like someone's dad dies and then they go back to the farm where the dad lives in Ohio, and dad had three or four crazy old Mopars sitting in his backyard.

But how come these people don't know the value of it? Because they're farmers. They're out there just fucking trying to eke out a living. They don't have time to be on the internet, pay attention to all this stupid shit. But they're on barn finds. That seems deep enough to me. They don't even think about it they just leave them in there wow they're like yeah especially if granddad's junker especially if they have a farm that's successful yeah they don't care they don't give a fuck about these things they're just sitting out there they're kind of cool to

look at catch me finding my truck you know imagine if you grew up on that farm you can go check out those old cars that's kind of fresh oh look at that barracuda look at that 1970 barracuda click on that wow you can fix that one that one you can fix yeah i want a cool car like that you know what you know a lot of people like to do cars like that see that car right there that's beautiful just fix it up but don't change the paint leave that just fix it up but don't change the paint leave that leave that old school shit on it leave that old school shit the stank yeah put a fucking modern hemi in that motherfucker look at that that's a 1971 1971 convertible 700 000 at auction holy shit they drive terrible terrible the brakes are terrible everything the's terrible, but you can fix them They can they do stuff to him now. You can make it so you could drive it

I know absolutely nothing about cars But I always remember my friend Kelsey who shard in third grade would say my dad drives an 82 old cutlass with a roll cage What does that say that all the time and I was like, that sounds fucking dope. That sounds like a psycho. What is that? Pull it up, Jamie. What year is it? 82, Cutlass? 82, Olds, Cutlass.

So he had a roll cage and an 82. Oh, I know. But her dad was cool. That's a Grand National. Oh, that's kind of sick. Is that what it is? What's a roll cage? Oh, my God.

They raced them? Look at that thing. That's kind of cool. That's a NASCAR? What's a roll cage? Oh, my God. They race them? Look at that thing. That's kind of cool. That's a NASCAR one, though, right? That's like a fake car. Is it that cage? That's true. That's true.

Wow. Look at that thing. That's wild. Dude, you're driving to school in NASCARs. Yeah, he was cool. He would build, like, recliners that were chairs and like drive them through the town he was crazy

wow look at that thing that's wild you know that's how they found Bob Lazar supposedly that's the Bob Lazar story the alien guy

oh yeah he put a jet engine on a Honda when he was young and they were like what is this motherfucker doing whoa yeah and that's when

a jet engine on a Honda everybody perked up yeah well when they were yeah he was working supposedly working at Los Alamos Labs this motherfucker doing? Whoa. Yeah, and that's when A jet engine on the Honda? Everybody parked up? Yeah. Well, when they were, yeah,

he was working, supposedly working at Los Alamos Labs. It's disputed, but he's on the employee roster. But he knows his way around the building.

It seems like he worked there. That's his story. He says he worked there. A lot of people from there say he didn't. But the bottom line was this guy, at the time,

built a fucking car with a rocket engine in the back. He had a jet engine in the back he had a jet engine in the back of his car he was like a propulsions expert just a super genius and this is the guy that supposedly they recruited and took to uh the middle of the nevada desert and tried to have him back engineer ufos and it's a crazy compelling story because if the guy's telling the truth that the government has been in possession

of these things. He did your show, right? He did the show. He did? It's an amazing conversation. Yeah. Wow. My dad sent me

the clips from it. Because I'm like, I'm so fucking, I'm such a sucker that I'm like, come on, I want it to be real. Yeah.

So part of me is like, why do you want it to be real so bad? Like, why is it so like, and then part of me is like, where's the bullshit? Come on, show me some bullshit. Yeah, he doesn't waver. He might

be the best bullshitter that's ever bullshitted, you know? But he seems like he's being sincere. So maybe he's crazy and he has this false memory that's impossible to shake. Do you ever listen to Art Bell? That's not his car, is it? CRX?

It looks like it. Lazard? Being sold as a Bob Lazar tribute? Mini thing. Oh, is that really? Maybe not. Maybe, I don't know

if he's a part, that could be like people being silly. Yeah, okay, could be. Do you ever listen to Art Bell? All the time. Yeah. One of the fucking

greatest joys of my life, I got to be a guest on the Art Bell show. You got to be on the Art Bell show? Who's Art Bell? Art Bell was the fucking man. This is the alien news guy. He was the man to be a guest on the Art Bell show. You got to be on the Art Bell show? Who's Art Bell? Art Bell was the fucking man.

Radio show. He'd have the show late at night. We'd leave the comedy store and I'd be driving home and I'd listen to Art Bell coast to coast with Art Bell. Coast to coast. And a guy would call up, Art, I'm a werewolf. He'd be like, tell me more. No. That's so fun. It was the best. He had a time

traveler line where you could only call in if you were a time traveler. He's so cool looking. Yeah. The Kingdom of Nigh. I mean, yeah. Oh, wait. I feel like I've heard. Okay.

And he had Terrence McKenna on. I listened to that episode. Oh, he had amazing episodes of Terrence McKenna. Yes. He was incredible, man. How long did he go for? Oh, forever. Really?

He died recently. Oh, so sad. It's all on, you can get it on Art Bell. Yeah, you can find it online. You went on his show? 2018 he died? Yeah, I went on his show. That's cool.

It was dope as fuck. So yeah, accidental drug overdose. Oh, Jesus Christ. He was partying. Maybe he was just fencing. He was having a good time. Yeah, maybe he bought a fucking maybe he had a bad back

and someone gave him a pill like Tom Petty oof that's sad yeah these guys I wish Tom Petty was still here I would have loved

to see Tom Petty live did you ever get to see Tom Petty no never got to see him live that would have been an experience so many talented people

died from that shit from fentanyl yeah Prince who was it recently that died from that shit. From fentanyl? Yeah. Prince. Who was it recently that died from it? Coolio. Coolio.

Coolio? I forgot about that. I just remembered Coolio died again. Yeah. It's traumatic to go through twice. Coolio was on Fear Factor. Really? He won.

He won high as Jesus on the space shuttle. He was so high. He was so high. I went to his trailer. It was like an inside, I mean, not like a running joke on set. He would open his trailer. It was like a Cheech and Chong movie. He was just getting blazed all day long.

Just getting blazed and running in circles around everybody. In the end, the final thing, like, I remember asking him, like. They were like, no more weed. They're too good. Like, why do you think you're going to win? And he was like, because I've done this before. I've lived this life. I've lived in many universes. Oh, shit.

And it sounded so good. I was like, I love what you're saying. See what he said? Wait, I kind of actually specifically remember this episode. I don't remember what they left in there. Hold on. I don't remember, but it was before that that he said...

Was this the flying the cars through the air? I don't remember what they did, but I do know that three of these people are dead now. Chyna, she's dead now. Kelly Preston, she's dead now. I forgot about Chyna. And Coolio's dead now. Good news, David Hasselhoff's still with us.

When I was a kid, David Hasselhoff's kids went to the same camp As me and my sister And he used to drop off his kids And it was like a big deal because Baywatch was on And he would show up in like a muscle tank And my sister went over to their house For a play date, it was a whole thing All the moms were hot for

Yeah, I was jealous, I was like, he went to David Hasselhoff's house That's so cool He was like a gigantic music star in Germany? Yes. Yeah, Germany. Yes. Like fucking huge.

Something about him in Germany. They're like, we get it. We get it. You know? It's like Jerry Lewis. Jerry Lewis is huge in France. I don't know why,

but that makes sense. Sometimes it just pops like that. That makes sense for him. That would be fun to be big in another country. Specifically in Germany. I'm huge in France. I don't know why, but that makes sense. Sometimes it just pops like that. That makes sense for him. That would be fun to be big in another country. Like in Germany? Specifically in Germany. I'm huge in Prague. Look at like Arj Barker. Arj Barker's gigantic in Australia. I don't know who that is.

He's from America. American comic. Funny guy. This is David Hasselhoff in Germany. Slaying. Wow. Unch spectacular. Love this I love this This is my jam Look at them The Germans are all in

The Germans are on Make us clap in tune Make us clap in tune Wow I like that They like being told what to do Wow Wow

These are happy Germans Look at them all clapping They're all clapping together. There they go. They're thinking about engineering the best BMW right now. That's what they're all doing.

They're busy. Isn't it amazing that like think about all the crazy shit that's come out of Germany. So much crazy shit. Some of the best automobiles that have ever been designed. Like they push the limits

of everything. Like that area. The 80 tools cutlass. No. BMWs. BMWs. BMW, Mercedes. The cars that they were building, Porsche. Germany was building the

wildest cars. It's just bizarre that this one area had so many fucking top flight engineers. They have a movie about it already, don't they? Well, it's Ford versus Ferrari. Oh, okay. That's not about that, though. I don't think there's a movie about it already, don't they? Well, it's Ford versus Ferrari. Oh, okay. That's not about that, though. I don't think there is a movie about...

Wait, because it's all connected to the Nazis. I'm a German. Oh, that's the issue. They have to tell the truth. R&D to make the superior price. My grandpa was a Jew in Germany, and his whole family got killed in the Holocaust. And he got put on a train and saved by Quakers.

And then he got adopted by the Weinschenk family. Whoa. Yeah, so my grandpa was a Holocaust survivor. Holy shit. Ari's dad's a Holocaust survivor. What? Yeah. I had no idea.

Ari's dad is an old gentleman. That's crazy. Yeah. Ari's dad is an old gentleman. That's crazy. Ari's like 70 then. Ari's 150,000 years old. How old is Ari is what I'm wondering. Hold on. Start doing some math. The math's not math-y.

You didn't want to say that. Some guys don't want to tell you their age. No, Ari's timeless. I would call Ari timeless. It's a funny thing, age. My favorite thing to do with Ari is put my phone down and watch him try to get into it. I literally set a self-timer in my head and I'll watch him. He can't help it.

His hand will just slowly creep out of his pocket. I don't even think he knows. It's like driving for us. That's so funny. He's always fucking around. He's always fucking around. He's a fun dude. He is a fun dude.

I don't think he's doing his podcast anymore. Really? Yeah, I'm going to call him. We do protect our parks together. Where me and Shane and Norman and Ari all get together and get hammered and just say a bunch of atrocious things. It's a ridiculous show. So things. It's a ridiculous show.

So fun. It's a ridiculous show. So he still does that. And he does other people's podcasts, but I think he's kind of done. He's still updating it. Is he? Unless he stopped recording them.

Why did I hear he was done? Why am I spreading misinformation? Today. He put one out today with Dave Smith. Who told me? Someone told me. I don't know. When you're saying that, though,

I feel like I'm I was remembering that same memory like maybe Ari was saying he was done with it but I just googled it and he's putting them out

once a week still alright we can talk him out of it still then cause that's what he did I didn't know that that's where that was going it was a plot twist I meant it the other way

I meant it the good way you talk him back in you talk him back in is what I meant it the other way. Yeah. I meant it the good way. You talk them back in. I talk them back in is what I meant. You girls are so mean. You immediately took it the wrong way. So now Ari

quit doing his podcast a long time ago when he went on that walkabout. Do you guys know Ari went on a walkabout in Asia for like four months

by himself? Yeah. This crazy motherfucker. When he fell off the grid. He got a flip phone. He got the flip phone. This bitch got a flip phone, would occasionally check in through some internet cafe. He'd send a bird to Joe's window.

He had a burner account. A crow would come drop off a fucking letter to Joe and have a tab of acid in it. He's traveled around the countries just like seeing Asia. Ari's one of the most interesting people in the world. He's a wild boy. He really is. He's a real wild boy, not the other fellow we were talking about. I already forgot the other fellow.

Oh, yeah. Willie Allen, the wild boy. Oh, yeah. Ari's a real wild boy. Yeah. Good guy. Yeah, he is. Yeah, there's him on the Great Wall of China holding up the Chinese flag.

He's so crazy. Yeah, look at it. There's a lot of comics talk about stopping Asian flag. He's so crazy. Yeah, look at this. There's a lot of comics talk about stopping Asian hate. Put that back up. But I'm the only one in the comedy world willing to pledge my allegiance to the Chinese. Oh, my God. The Chinese fascist regime.

I, along with LeBron James,e biden are leading the way in doing business with the people who are leading the world in violence against asians but it's not the right kind of asian so it's fine i love you china you're the great world leaders of our time hashtag stop asian hate oh my god look at him just look at his face that's one of the greatest poses ever because he looks like shit you know it's like the most unselfiest selfie pose. He looks like he's seen some shit. Well, he has been. He's been eating street food for the last four months.

He came back and told us about gutter oil. Did you know about gutter oil? Maybe he told me about that before. That's where I remember it. Yeah. Was it from that time, from the walkabout? He went over there to do shows, I think. Yeah.

He did like three or four shows and came back and talked about it. So he told us that there's a market for people that take sewage and process the oil out of sewage. Oh, yes. I've heard of this. And resell it as cooking oil. Because if you take raw sewage, like this lady's like, I'm going to start fucking yakking just watching this. That's how I feel.

If you start... Wait, are we buying? I'm just faking it. But it does make a gag. Yeah. Oh my god. But that's all sewage. So they're boiling it and the oils come to the surface and somehow or another

they separate the oils. Are these the cooking oils? Where are these going? I don't know, but they're using it for food in places. Like here, they're cooking food in it.

Yeah, I'm good on the gutter oil. It's just. It's like, it's like cooking oil is hard to go by. But cooking oil is hard to get. Right?

Here's a thought. Like where's cooking oil coming from? Are you using, what are you using? There's, like, avocado oil. Coconut. There's a lot of oils that you use. Like, those are expensive to extract from things. Like, you got to go get them.

Or you got to buy them. Somebody does it in a factory, and then they sell it to you. And you got canola oil. Now you have monkey slaves. Monkey slaves? Yes. They say that they, like, enslaveola oil. Now you have monkey slaves. Monkey slaves? Yes, they say that they enslave monkeys to go get coconuts in the trees, and it's their full-time jobs. That sounds sad for the monkeys.

I know. Okay, what's sadder, that or all tigers being in zoos? Not tigers versus monkeys. All tigers being in zoos. I think monkeys. My grandmother had a monkey. What? Did it eat her face?

It was Chi-Chi. Chi-Chi used to bite people. I bet Chi-Chi did. Nobody could go near Chi-Chi. What did the monkey do? Well, the monkey bit. I think the monkey bit, I'm pretty sure it was my cousin. It's one of those weird ones where I blocked it out, I think, because it was very young.

I think I was probably like five. And the monkey was wild. And she had a monkey, and the monkey would open pieces of gum, undo the wrapping. I was like, this is wild. In your face. But the monkey did not like kids, and she did not like anybody coming over the house that was going to take attention from the monkey. The monkey had a relationship with my grandmother.

I don't need a scorned monkey. It was weird. So after the monkey bit one of the relatives, they had to get relationship with my grandmother. I don't need a scorned monkey. It was weird. So after the monkey bit one of the relatives, they had to get rid of the monkey. I'm glad they got rid of it. Because you know, some crazy people, they keep the monkey after it attacks.

Yeah, my grandmother was pretty eccentric. But I don't think she was that eccentric. She had a monkey. She did have a monkey. That's crazy. Yeah. My grandmother was wild. When you put a monkey. Let's go back to baseline. That's crazy. Yeah. My grandmother was wild. When you put your monkey in overalls, you know it's time. Yeah, that's an issue.

Was he in like a Hawaiian shirt? My grandmother did time because she wouldn't rat out the mob. She was running numbers. So my grandmother worked for this. The monkey was running the numbers on the calculator. No, my grandmother was doing it. That's crazy. And then she's like, I don't know, nothing. They put her in jail.

So we were always like, where's grandma? And they were like, oh, grandma's visiting Aunt Jeannie. Who the fuck is Aunt Jeannie? For five years? Some aunt. She'll be back eventually.

Wow, Grandma was a Jeannie. Knitting fucking sweaters for the guards. Like legitimately. Old Italian lady. How much time did she do that? I think she did like six months. That's real. Yeah.

She did some time. She's not a rat. But that's what they used to have back then. They used to have, that was the neighborhood lottery. It was called the numbers. My grandmother was always talking about the numbers. Wait, I remember this.

She was always talking about missing the number. In Puerto Rico, they're still doing that. I just went. They still do it. I bet they do it in Miami. I bet they do it in a lot of immigrant communities. They trust the numbers. They trust the people running the numbers more than they trust the state lottery. It makes so much

more sense. Yeah, and people win. It's a real thing. Obviously, the mobs get in their cut and the people who run it are getting their cut. But it does work. Yeah. I don't understand how it works because they come up to you with a binder and there's a bunch of things laminated

and they're like, pick one and if we win, we'll find you. It's like, where? Where? We're at a bar. It's 2 p.m. Where will I see you again? Yeah.

I just have this coupon. I gave you $100. Right. If I meet someone with a binder and laminated pages, I'm walking away. No, because they said my uncle used to win all the time. You know where they get you?

Where? At the airport. You know why? Because at the airport, you're already following instructions. At the airport, you're used to listening to people. You go into a mindset. You go into a mindset of you have to be disciplined, stay in the line. Can't talk loud.

Put all your stuff down. I almost got trafficked at the airport. I saw some guy was like, taxi, taxi. I go, okay. She got into the rogue guy yelling taxi. She got into the gypsy taxi. And then I get in there and I go, where's the meter? And he's like, there's not a meter.

And I was like, yeah, because this is not a real cab. Give me back my stuff. And he's like, it's fine. I'm not going to take you anywhere. There's cameras. Look. And I was like, give me back my stuff. Cameras?

Yeah. Oh, you're in control of those cameras, right? You just delete the footage. You're murdering me, fucking son of a bitch. Your cameras? Oh, well, we're safe. As long as you're filming this atrocity. Yeah, thank God.

Yeah, Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah. Yeah, I just get. You get into this mindset, I think, at the airport. It's a unique place where everybody obeys. Everybody listens. Everybody gets in line. Everybody has to take their belt off and all the other shit.

Take your shoes off. Everybody has to do it. So because you get into this mindset of you wait in line for whatever group number they're calling. And you find your seat. You put your bag up. And you've given them all your money. The flights are expensive. You're waiting for your bags to come.

Everybody has to keep it together. It's very rare that people don't keep it together at the airport. Well, that's also why it has to be why they make it so expensive, too, because then you have something to lose. They're like, you have to be able to fly. I paid all this money. We have to get there because I can't buy another one. Yeah.

And so when you get all those people together, everybody kind of follows the rules. It's one of the most follow-the-rules places in our society is the airport. That's true. So when you leave there and someone comes up to you with a binder and, like, this page, this nonsense story, and a bucket, open bucket with cash in it, like, you just want to, like, oh, what's going on? Sarah, right before you got on the plane, what did you buy in Vegas after Skankfest?

Don't bring it up. Not to Joe. What did you buy? A timeshare. You bought a timeshare? She called me up. She's like, we got a free trip, but we got to go. I said, we, bitch.

I said, mommy bought a timeshare in Sedona. And she's thinking, she didn't say times, bitch. I said, Mommy bought a timeshare in Sedona and she's taking... She didn't say timeshare at first. I didn't know it was a timeshare. Oh my God, I miss you, girl. She calls me, Joe. She calls me and she goes, Kim, you got to get downstairs

before you get on the flight. My friend. There's a guy named Rick. He's got a good deal for you, too. Oh my God. It was after Skank Fest. You got us at our weak point. It was after Skank Fest. You got us at our weak point. It was after Skank Fest.

I was exhausted. I was concussed. They could have got me too. That's when they get you with timeshares. They don't call it, they don't use the word timeshare. They call it a luxury vacation

and I go, that sounds nice. But they also lied to her and they said they knew about the festival she was at and they were doing a thing for the people at the festival. Oh, they lied to you.

Yeah. Because you told them you were at Skank Fest. Yeah, they were like, are you? They were like, yeah, everybody in Vegas is at Skank Fest. This is the project I'm working on. Do you know about this bitch podcast? Yeah. Big Bono, let me tell you my story.

Sarah gets got. Listen, it happens. Yeah, remember when you- I'm a trusting, lovable girl. She is. She's very lovable. That's what it is. That's probably better than... I'm a trusting lovable girl. She is. She's very lovable. That's what it is. That's probably better than being an untrusting person. A hardened bitch. There's like a guy with his leg

coming off. I'm like, get away from me, scammer. Jesus Christ. I'm like, la la la la la. La la la la la. Oh, what happened to your leg? Remember at the beach, the old man? Oh, yeah. The old man at the beach. We were at the beach and this old man man came up, and he's talking to us, and we're petting his dog.

And you can tell he's this old Malibu rich dude, and he's like, yeah, I just wish I could. She loves to run. No, the dog. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You're talking about the dog. She loves to run. I wish I could run her up on the beach, but my knee hasn't worked for years.

And Sarah's like, I'll run her. He's like, oh, you would? And then Sarah's suddenly in this thong running this dog up and down the beach, and the dude's so into it. And I'm watching the whole thing. He was a pervert. I thought it was helping out a nice man

who needed his dog. It was a trick. Yeah, it was a thing he does to young women. And I watched it go down, and I couldn't stop laughing because the dog was out of control, too. And the dog's misbehaving. The dog's name, the dog's name. He. Beauregard. The dog's name was Beauregard.

This is the best story ever. Sarah's running. She's in a snake skin bathing suit. This guy's like keep running. Is he filming this? No he's so perverted. Was he filming it? With his eyes. With his memory. I couldn't believe you did it. He was like my knees are bad. I'm like

that sucks. I'll walk your dog. Yeah, he wasn't filming it, but it was in a bank of sorts. A bank? A spank bank? Yeah. Yeah. I bet. I saw right through it when he was talking to us, because I'm looking around at all these

young men that could help him run the dog up and down the beach, and I'm like, he's not coming up to us because we look athletic, and we're going to run the dog. Maybe I do look athletic. I get offended. We look unathletic, but it was just very clearly a trick. But she ran Beauregard. And then the dogs started snapping. And you watched that trick go down.

Yeah. When did you know it was a trick? As soon as he started talking to us. The second he opened his mouth. I could see it in his horny ass eyes. Oh, his horny ass eyes. And Sarah has the heart of a nurse. So Sarah's like, his knees.

His horny ass eyes. I look over, Sarah's rubbing CBD on his kneecaps. Dude, if you ever do become a rapper, his horny ass eyes has to be your number one hit. His horny ass eyes. It took me by surprise. With them horny ass eyes I thought it was a disguise but he gave me horny ass eyes

yeah Beauregard got your ass yeah and then after I go yeah that seemed weird she came back they were her and the dog were the dog didn't even want to run he was like the dog was like laying in didn't even want to run. He was like laying. That dog was a marathon runner. The dog was like laying in the sand. She was like dragging it.

I was like. The dog was like, what the fuck is this? I hate exercise. He's like, this is my 14th run in Malibu today. This fucking pervert changes underwear three times. Another hot bitch running me. Can you imagine if that's your thing? Like some guys play golf. This guy pretends he's hobbling on the beach

just to get girls to run with his dog. Call me jaded, but I've seen the old hobble before. That is, but imagine if like that's your thing. That's what you get up to do, you know? Yeah. You're not getting up to play chess. You're getting up to just walk down by the beach with a dog. Oh, I just wish I could run with him.

Could you run with him? Could you just run with him? Can I tell you, Joe, as a woman, Oh, I just wish I could run with him. Could you run with him? Could you just run with him? Can I tell you, Joe, as a woman, you, I mean, as a man, you would be surprised to see the tricks that have been trucked. Oh, I wouldn't be surprised. Men are disgusting. They come up with all the things. Mustache, disguises, all the tricks in the book for some pussy, dude.

It's crazy. Crazy. It is insane. It's some pussy, dude. It's crazy. Crazy. It is insane. Well, if you really want to think about it, for a lot of men, women is, they're not just other human beings, but they're other human beings that have this insane gift of immense pleasure.

They're so different than men. I know. And when you're a guy and women don't like you, it's baffling. You're like, there's this thing that everybody wants, and if I could get that thing, I would have this insane pleasure.

Because, like, remember the first time you were ever intimate with someone? Like, when you were young? And you're like, this is so wild. It's wild. It's a weird feeling. All of a sudden you become hugely addicted to this

wild, weird feeling. Now imagine if nobody wants to do that to you. Nobody. And you write on YouTube and you say, you dumb bitch! You're not really smoking that blunt! Now here's the question. Yeah, I'd take it out

on a school hallway. If robot fuck dolls can fix that. Yes, we want that. Is that what you want? I would rather them, oh wait.

Wait, what? And then they're not hitting on us because they're fucking the bots? Yeah, then they're done with you

because then you can have this lady who can speak five languages and she wears a miniskirt and no underwear on. Yeah, go fuck her. And she doesn't nag him. She wants him to do it. She wants him to do it. She's not like, take out the

trash. She's not even human. But then there's something that they'll always know that they couldn't. There's still that thing. There's still that disconnect. For now, but ten years from now when she looks exactly the same and everybody else is ten years older. And they're ten years from there.

And she's exactly the same. And this old dude's getting fucking IV infusions and baby blood. That's what I love about my sex robots. I keep getting older. Yeah. Yeah, they do stay young. Would you have a sex robot?

Uh, no. You know what I think the real problem is? It's like, yeah, they do stay young. Well, would you have a sex robot? Sorry. No. You know what I think the real problem is? It's not a sex robot. The real problem is some sort of brain interface with a computer that allows you to have experiences that aren't real. Like the movie Her? Sexual experiences. I mean, any kind of experience.

Fantasy experiences. Be mean, any kind of experience. Fantasy experiences. Be a fucking Viking. You can, like, they're going to be able to give you a fake world in your brain. You're going to be able to see it. Well, yeah. It does seem like VR is so crazy that more and it's like, I remember the first time I did VR. I remember the first thought I had was that it was going to be a problem because i was like this is cooler than the room i'm in right like i'd rather spend the day in this room it's weird

and it could be also and it could also be a room you know what i mean you could be in a room but just in a better room oh yeah well you know it feels like the walls feel the same and everything looks this oh yes this shit is crazy the grieving mother who got to see her daughter again oh no no no no no no no I'm not okay that's so crazy that's so crazy that's the beginning of the end folks when you can't tell who's real and who's not a computer generated person that's saying amazing things to you okay this bummed me out Jamie yeah sad she got sad but happy part is dudes can get can nut I think these things that they're seen is just like a little bit of haptic feedback and Thank you, Mama. You're welcome, Mommy. I think these things that they're seeing is just like a little bit of haptic feedback in the gloves and then the visual of the VR.

But I think it's eventually going to be inside your mind. They're going to be able to hijack whatever it is that lets you see things and however your brain interprets things. Yeah. Just hijack that and fill it with other information. Fill it with Avatar land. Fill it with literally experiences that aren't real but that are more vivid than the experiences that you have. And then you're not going to know what's what anymore. I believe that.

Who knows what's real right now anyways. That might be already happening. Yeah. Who knows what's real right now according to CIA. It's all made up anyways. That's what the CIA says? Yeah, CIA.gov, according to CIA. It's all made up anyways. That's what the CIA says? Yeah, CIA.gov, the gateway process. They said you can just make things up and it happens.

Yeah. They said manifestation is real. The hemisphere is real. And you can astral project. The hemisphere is real. There's so much misinformation on this podcast. This could get us all canceled. That's kind of our thing.

What are you saying the CIA does what? First of all, we don't believe in canceling anymore. It's something that someone else made up in their mind. Oh, this is your cult. This is the cult of this bitch. That's not the center of our world. This is the center of the world, Joe. Welcome to this bitch.

So what are you just saying, though? Explain what you're saying. Okay, so they put up this thing called this bitch. So what were you just saying though? Explain what you're saying. Okay. So they put up this thing called the gateway process CIA.gov the gateway process.

I found it in a red thread like six years ago. A red thread? A red thread. It's real Jamie? Well it's from the website.

I didn't want to ruin this for her but just because it is on the website but that just means that they were investigating it and they have a record

of investigating it. It doesn't mean that it is real or is able to be recreated. But we read it So that means it's real and what does it say? Can I see it? Yeah, yeah, I'll pull it I mean, okay, we've talked about it before on here with other people. I'm pretty sure I think so too It's a fit. It's like the actual the people who sit in a room and can see stuff They said that the CIA has been having meetings in the astral realm since 1995. I interviewed one of these guys. This shit. The biofeedback.

Yes. He tells you exactly how you can do it. Like he gives you a step by step. He does the whole, you know when you're in third grade and you do a science fair project and you have the hypothesis and he does the whole fucking thing. He says what he thinks is going to happen, then he fucking does it. He tells you exactly what he used, the frequencies and the music he used. He said you have to meditate and listen to a specific frequency.

And once your brain connects the right and left, it's called a hemisphere sync. And he describes exactly how your thoughts become physical. It was crazy. It's crazy it was crazy crazy it's so crazy so what is this based on like where did you get this information uh i read it i don't know i believed it because it was on the cia website and now jimmy told me that they just investigated it so i guess anything my tiktok could be on there someone made it so like all right well we'll check out what he's saying and like here's the report it's kind of like what made it onto the website he's tasked to provide an assessment of the gateway experience in terms of uh its mechanics and ultimate practicality as I set out to fulfill that tasking, it soon became clear that in order to access the validity and

practicality of the process, I need to do enough supporting research and analysis to fully understand how why the process works. So what is it saying, though? He said that he fucking did the research and he took the fucking time.

I read this whole thing front to back. It took me like four weeks. I had to Google a lot of words. What did you get out of it? I got out of it that he specifically went to a bunch of scientists, talked to a bunch of people. He spent a really, really long time taking this seriously. And that fucking all this shit that they're saying is real. So that somehow is real you can

he tells you manifest things with your into reality with your mind with your mind and you can also travel the astral plane when you sync the left and right sides of your brain and he tells you how to link the left and right side is there anything you do with your taint? No. I hope. What kind of taint is this? Your taint has to be a specific size. You can't have a soft boy taint. Left clip top. Yes. But basically, it's really crazy. It said that, yeah, exactly.

It makes holographic patterns, and that's how your thoughts become reality through holograms, through physical light holograms, and they become real things. I would love to have someone who actually could understand this shit. Me too. Go through it. I wish we were smarter. Eric Weinstein is screaming at the...

Valley Girl Science? I'm on the phone right now. This is actually the show we pitched to In-N-Out. Oh, Fake Bono? Yes, I was getting high and doing fake bad science. Yeah, that's what I was telling Frank Bono about. We're all coming full circle. How much do you think it affects, what is it?

How to escape the confines of time and space according to the CIA. In the 1980s, a spy agency investigated the gateway experience technique to alter consciousness and ultimately escape space-time. Here's everything you need to know. So they looked into this. Yes. They gave a woman. They also have people that could do telekinesis and stuff,

and they gave a woman. They put in like a 10-digit code, and they put it in a locker room in another state, and the woman was able to leave her mind and go into the vault with the code they gave her physically and then and then go in and she could only like most of the people that could do it i said i think they said they had like 36 people that could do it um they could only bring out back eight out of ten

numbers like it was always missing just a little bit remote viewer in 1989 remote remote viewer Angela DeForia DeForia Ford helps track down a former customs agent who has gone on the run. She pinpoints his location as Lowell, Wyoming. U.S. Customs apprehend him 100 miles west of a Wyoming town called Lowell. See, it's always like a little off.

So it's a little off. Like Lowell instead of Lowell. Like, see, she saw it in her head. Yeah. And can I tell you something crazy? Is when I first read it on Reddit, like, eight years ago, I tried to go back and reference this page I read, and the page wasn't in it anymore. Whoa. There was a page missing. Dun, dun, dun.

And it was the one about magic wands. Yeah, the magic wand page. It's gone. We've been looking for it. If that turns out to be true, in that you can affect reality with your mind, why are we doing such a shitty job? Because it takes a lot of,

it's like exactly what you said about, why doesn't everybody just do mushrooms and be chill? It's like, because it's hard to get to that place because it almost feels better i don't know it's like the same way less being less aware lower frequency what percentage there's also a lot of luck involved there's a lot of like different factors in how you get somewhere in life it can't all be a manifestation of your thoughts like maybe that's just a factor. Maybe instead of it being like a primary factor to your success or failure or whatever in life,

maybe it is a factor. But the other factors that maybe because we want to concentrate on this mystical one that we're missing out, there's a bunch of other shit that has to go into play too. Like you have to be born in a place where you don't get hit by a drone when you're in a wedding party.

Unless everybody's own life is like its own thing. And everything is just a back story to your own story. That's what Bert Kreischer believes. That's. Okay. Well, that's. No, Bert Kreischer believes you don't die. Did I just find out I'm an alcoholic?

I don't think you die. Prove to me you die. I'm like, okay, dude. You know what? I guess you could philosophically say that you don't really know. And you do go to sleep and you do wake up. What's that all about? What's going on when you're gone?

Don't even get me on sleeping because the anxiety I get before I fall asleep at night, I'm like, how is no one questioning this? We're all laying down and closing our eyes and letting, and then going into this place. You know, I dream the same place every single night for the last 10 years. I go to the same place every single night. And?

I go to the same beach every single fucking night. Sometimes we go to the same place in our dreams. And one time I found a fucking video and people were talking about that they were going to the place that I go, the same exact beach. exact beach they said oh but sometimes i stay in this in this uh in this hotel that's haunted the one of these rooms is haunted and that's exactly where i go you are a horror movie you're a literal what do you mean there was thousands of people that were saying that but horror movies are like that right it's like everyone gets this message like we got this

message what do you want to do i just feel like we should i feel like we should right? It's like everyone gets this message. Like, we got this message. What do you want to do? I just feel like we should follow through. I feel like we should run this guy's dog down the beach. There are other people that are going to say they dream of going to the beach every night, I bet. But I bet that's a big thing. The beach is a huge thing. I bet there's people that dream of skiing every night. Well, people... Skiing? The beach is always a nice

place to go, so if you're trying to have a nice dream, you probably dream of going to the beach. That's normal. It's always nice, yeah. But is it the same place? Well, a lot of people, that was their beach. The beach where you... Is it a place you know of? No. It's not?

You've never been there? No. Where is it? I don't know. What is interesting about it? Are there sharks? They want their oil back. The water...

Fuck your asthma. They're pissing my dad. The water's always really clear. And yeah, there's always a hotel. I live in the hotel. It's always like I get the nicest hotel and then one of the rooms is haunted. So it's like I can't really enjoy myself there. I have a similar dream.

And a lot of people, yeah. And sometimes I'm in a hotel and I'm like, oh, I have to get ready for my flight. There's always a flight. The flight. And then I get on the flight and it goes sometimes and I can never leave the water. I get on a flight, the plane will break in half

and I'll parachute slowly back onto the fucking water. I had a dream once. And I'll be right back on the beach. I was on a plane while I had this dream. I fell asleep and I dreamed that we were flying through a tunnel. And then you couldn't move to the left or to the right. The plane had to stay in the center. And the pilot was good at doing it, so we were okay.

But then we were flying through a fucking tunnel. That's scary. I made my heart beat fast. Except my eyes were closed. And I was dreaming while I was on a plane. I was like, oh my God. Do you know what trips me out? Sometimes I have dreams that I see a a plane. I was like, oh my God. That, you know, it trips me out. Sometimes I have dreams that I like see like a truck coming to hit me or something.

And then when I wake, I'll wake up from the sound of a honking in real life. Like when I wake up, a truck is honking at the same time that my dream was having that thing happened. How does that happen? That happens to people, right? What do you think is happening when you think about someone they call you? Oh, I think that we live in a vibrational world. And so if you're thinking about someone, that there's a chance you're putting that out and that they're subconsciously picking up on it. I thought I was just Puerto Rican crazy.

I heard you talking shit. Hello. I feel it. I feel it in the air yeah there's there's times I mean you think about someone

and then they text you you can feel someone looking at you that's interesting statistically right like they've done tests on that I think was that

Rupert Sheldrake was that one of his is that true yeah yeah I think it doesn't feel I don't think it's everybody feel i don't i don't think it's everybody and i don't think it's all the time it's not like a you always know when people

are watching you but it seems like it's more often than chance i think that's how they looked at it well you can because also you're in an unnatural environment so like if they make you stay in a room okay you don't know this room you don't. You know you're a part of an experiment. You're sitting down. There's a lot of weird factors in there that will interrupt the normal ability and frequency to just feel the world. But if you're in your living room and then someone walks in your living room and you're like – You just feel that they're in the living room even though you didn't hear anything. What is that?

There might be something to that. Like a sixth sense? Not to bring up my school ADD again, but I used to yawn in class and see how many people I could get to yawn after my yawn. What is that about? That's mental illness. No!

I want to be the yawn leader! I'm the yawn leader. It's kind of funny. The yawn. It's a fucking interesting project. I used to yawn and see how many people I could get to tag on. The yawn captain.

I would do anything to not pay attention in school. But yawns are weird. Yawns are fucking. Why are they contagious? And why, when you're about to start tripping, do you do that a lot? Oh, yeah. Mushrooms. It's always like.

I yawn. You know what I notice, too, is when I laugh a lot? Oh, yeah. Mushrooms. It's always like. I yawn. You know what I think? You know what I noticed, too, is when I laugh a lot with my friends, even if I'm not on drugs, I'll start like my lungs will get like mucusy. Like my body starts. It needs more shark oil. That's what it is. You need shark oil.

I think it's getting rid of the mucus. Don't bring up the mucus, mom. The mucus. Mommy. Mommy, stop talking about your mucus to Joe. You're embarrassing me. I forgot we were on a podcast. Leave the phlegm at home, honey.

Anyways, I phlegm. In this wild dream, is there a way it always goes? It's kind of just the same thing. It's very Truman Show-esque where I've been trying to leave. There's always like, even last night, I had a dream I was getting on a flight and it was like the whole time. It's like when I'm about to get there, something happens, the ticket doesn't work.

It's always like, uh-oh, look what happened. Looks like you're stuck here again. And it's not a bad place to be, but I keep wanting to be like, but I want to see what else there is and like trying to go somewhere. I have a dream my teeth fall out like dominoes. I touch one and then the other ones just crumble

and they all just fall out. I haven't had that. That's crazy. I hate it. It's a reoccurring dream. And then also that I'm in- That's a common one. And that I'm in high school

and I don't know my locker code. And I'm like, is it 38-1207? Fuck, I don't know what class I'm going to. You wake up as an adult. You're like, Why was I stressed? Bitch you're almost 40 I had multiple dreams after I got out of high school That I somehow or another failed and I had to go back

Yeah that's the worst dream That's not one of mine And then I had to make a decision Am I going to be a high school dropout Or am I going to do another year of high school Oh doing another year of high school Oh my god I'm so free.

I'm almost free. And then that was my dream. I have that, too. Yeah. I don't have that one. School nightmares still. Yeah. No way.

Yeah. That's a weird one. I did have a friend die, and I had a night terror the night that my friend died at the same exact time. And I never had a dream. So my dreams are pretty good. They're at the beach all the time so I had a one really bad dream

that woke me up out of my sleep that someone had killed themselves in front of me and I woke up like instantly crying and the next morning I got a call the same hour that it happened. That's pretty trippy. But that could also be the same thing as someone looking at you.

That could be a coincidence, the night that I had that bad dream. It could be. It could be that you remember it because of the fact that your friend did that. Because if you didn't have that, you might not even have remembered it. No, this is how I know. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? How many times do you really accurately remember your dreams?

Well, this is how I know. I was dating a guy, and I woke up next to him and he was like, what's going on? Because I never do that. And I told him about my dream the moment it happened. Oh, there you go. And that's how I knew. Yes. And that's how I knew.

Because the next day I was like, did I tell you about that dream? And he was like, yeah, you told me exactly that that happened. Yeah. That's not how he died, but he died. Well, they don't know what dreams are really. I mean, they know when people are in REM sleep, they know that you should get a certain percentage of REM sleep in order to be like fully recovered and rested and relaxed. But there's a lot of weird shit about the consciousness of dreaming. A lot of weird shit. Like, cause we know the body produces

endogenous psychedelic chemicals. And is it doing that? Is that what that is? Is that why they're so hard to remember? Because it's like psychedelic trips. Like DMT realm. Yeah. There's probably some kind of state that you go into when you're dreaming. You know what's crazy about DMT

is that it smells like morning breath. It does. There's something about, yeah, it does. Whenever I smell it, I'm like, it smells like morning.. It does. There's something about, yeah, it does. Whenever I smell it, I'm like, it smells like morning, it stinks. It has a very specific. You're talking about morning breath and mucus? Yeah.

I'm doubling down, sweetie. I thought you were being a soft girl. You guys have two totally different strategies. It's amazing. Sarah, you're giving up your cards. You're giving up too many cards. Yeah. You gotta let her too many cards. Yeah. You got to let her go.

I'm telling you. You can't pull her in because then people know you're scheming. I'm not scheming. No, you're not. But you're trying to scheme for her. You're like, pull it in, lady. I like to, um. There's something to that, Joe.

Yes. That it's a dream realm and it smells like morning breath. Well, um, it only smells like that if you burn it. You know, there's other ways of getting it into your body. They're doing this long, slow IV drip in England now. Interesting. And they're mapping these experiences. This was weird.

They're doing long, full-in DMT experiences where they're going to the same places over and over again. And they're encountering very same places over and over again and they're encountering very specific beings oh yeah yeah yeah like the purple lady there's like this one purple snake like lady that a lot of people have encountered and if you go online there's lots of people that have documented this snake lady maybe but what these guys are doing they're doing it for hours and hours at a time in the dmt state because it's doing it through an IV. So this is like a completely unusual experience. When I did DMT, it told me that the aliens are where the penguins are.

Okay, the ice wall. The world's flat. We're going back to the world's flat. Do I think the world's flat? Is that what I'm finding out about myself on this podcast? It would be the greatest thing to find out ever. But penguins do seem a little alien-like. They do. No, they don't at all.

They're like a bird that lives in a place where you have to be fat to stay alive because there's cold fucking water and leopard seals everywhere. You ever see a leopard seal? One of my favorite animals. They don't even look like they're real. Leopard seals look like an avatar animal. All they do is just fuck up penguins. They don't even look real. Leopard seals look like an avatar animal. All they do is just

fuck up penguins. They are the death of penguins. They exist to eat penguins. These motherfuckers. Oh, they're cute. They're so ferocious. Look at that thing. That's real. I feel bad for the penguins. That's so cute, though. That is a

leopard seal. They are ferocious monster predators. That penguin is cute, though. That is a leopard seal. They are ferocious monster predators. Look at that poor little penguin. That penguin is done, though. Look at that image of that one on the ice there. No, the one to the right of it, their face. The one, yeah, right there. I know, but look at the image from the video. It's crazy.

That image is insane. The blood on its mouth. The face of that thing. And they just jack penguins. I don't like it. They call penguins pussies. They're the bullies of penguins. They can't stand it.

Penguin patrol. They're some of the most interesting animals ever. They're aliens, I'm telling you. I didn't even know they existed until a few years back. Quote me. When you find out penguins are aliens, you're going to remember this moment. Yeah. I think squid. I remember March of the Penguins. That's when you find out penguins are aliens, you're going to remember this moment. Yeah. I think squid. I remember

March of the Penguins. That's when I found out about them. What year was that? Remember that? That was like a big documentary. Yeah, it was a big deal. Everybody went to see the penguin movie. It was really cute. It was. Yeah. It was amazing. That and What the Bleep. Everybody went to see What the Bleep and came back all spiritual. Remember those days?

I don't remember any of this shit. It's basically what the CIA was saying. Yes. Manifest reality. What the Bleep and came back all spiritual. Remember those days? I don't remember any of this shit. It's basically what the CIA was saying. Yes. They manifest reality. What the bleep. No one told me. Maybe they're on to something too. So maybe it's like a little bit of that and then also a lot of luck and also a lot of

circumstance. Good combo. It's got to be a bunch of different things. It's got to be, yeah. It's a bunch of different things happening simultaneously. You got to be driven and showing up for your life. Thinking that it's only your only match. Oh, she's back.

I'm a motivation. Wait, hold on. She's back. We need the music for her. When you wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and say, I'm going to be the best me I could be. She's the best her that she could be. I'm a Puerto Rican one in the background.

Yes. Shankisms. Yes. You should sell a daily calendar with. Shankisms. Yes. You should sell a daily calendar with Shankisms every day. Might not be a bad idea.

Come to my seminar. Come to my seminar. 17 easy payments of $69.99. You can always listen. Other comics have done it. You guys should start

life coaching. No. Why don't you mention that? That's what I think this Vice article found out about the the gateway process what the guy who was sort of like promoting it gave a convenient seven day audio tape shortcut to finding out how to do all this i'm trying to find the picture of the tapes

they had the tapes on here well say that again he did a seven day what so it's like an audio thing and like you have to keep listening to this audio to unlock it, I suppose is what it was saying. No. If you just listen to his tapes over and over again... It's a timeshare. You can skip ahead. We have to go to Arizona, Joe, this whole thing.

What? He was selling these tapes that are, I guess, are a couple of different frequencies, and then they started pitching this thing called... The Hennysync. The Hemisync. And that is copywritten now, and there's websites selling all sorts of stuff about Hemisync. We cannot achieve the state on our own.

The audio techniques developed by Bob Monroe and his institute, which comprise a series of tapes, claim to induce and sustain Hemisync. Here the document shifts to the usage of quotes and other reports describe the powers of hemi-sync. Wayne employs the analogy of a lamp versus a laser. Left to its own devices, the human mind expends energy like a lamp in a chaotic and incoherent way, achieving lots of diffusion but relatively little depth.

Under hemi-sync, though, the mind produces a disciplined stream of light. This is the thing he wrote in the article, yeah. So once the frequency and amplitude of the brain are rendered coherent, it can then synchronize with the rarefied energy levels of the universe. With this connection intact, the brain begins to receive symbols and display astonishing flashes of holistic intuition. Hell yeah.

I'm trying to go from lamp to laser. Imagine how you just get that with a cassette player. This is a Walkman. You have old school Walkman. I thought this was the Beatles. The last page of the report was missing, so a lot of people think that the hidden key is on that, but then they're like, it's probably not. I told you.

Well, listen, what if it's real that's the thing like if they really did figure something like that out and if you really do listen to all seven of those tapes and unlock some fucking potential we gotta find that tape here to now never been seen some some crazy new thing i'm down to try hemi hemi sinking turns out it's just from some crazy dude figured it out. Just like everything else. Also, I wouldn't disbelieve that some dude figured it out and also is selling tapes. Both of those can exist. Right, why not? Yeah.

I mean, I think that's a perfect cover. I'd be peddling tapes, too. Yeah, me too. If I had the answers like that. But they're kind of barely peddling tapes, if you really think about it. There's not a lot of marketing put into this. A low-key tape pedal. They go, if you want it, come get it.

Old school cassettes. That's their logo. You want it, come get it. Maybe that makes me think they're legit now. What if it's real? What if you go up there and they really are doing that? And that's why nobody wants to leave. What if they really do have some sort of process where through sound you can achieve this state of unveiling?

The universe exposes itself to you the way it really is. That is tight, and I would like to go to the astral plane. I hate to be a 14-year-old boy about it, but that's tight. That's tight. The TikTok kids are claiming that they're fucking in the astral plane, that they sneak off in their heads and that's where they have sex. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, I'm trying to link up with a man on the astral plane.

Maybe Zuck. Maybe that's where they are. Yeah, you go and it's Zuck. He already got that market. We've got to find a different plane. He's a black belt in the astral plane. Not Zuck being a black belt in another realm. Would you call it an Uma Pluto?

I know a Plata. What did you call it? I don't know, Kim. That was so long ago. You can't let it go. I love it. It gave you bad jujitsu. Uma Pluto.

Nomenclature. So cute. Triangle. The triangle's deadly. You and Zuck. remember when you put that girl you used the arm bar in the beverly hills against the beverly a girl tried to trap sarah in a bathroom

what for no reason a drunk girl she said don't fuck with me i'm from bel-air out of nowhere she was dropping bel-air gang signs and then kim had to she was like this drunk crazy girl and kim had to pull out a low-key jujitsu move to keep her back.

Nothing crazy. Just trying to get Sarah out of the stall. Just an arm bar. Is that what they're called? Yeah. I had to get it on video, too, because I was like, this Bel Air bitch is going to have to sue me. I was like, yep.

Jesus Christ. We get into situations. It gets rowdy out there in the streets. Yeah, sometimes you walk someone's dog. The streets of Bel-Air. The streets of Bel-Air are hard. You gotta be a hard person to survive. Are there gangs in Bel-Air?

Probably everywhere now. Yeah. No. That'd be a good move. Make a lot of money, you're a successful gang. They're not living there, but... I don't feel like there's many gangs in Bel-Air. She was in a gang in Bel-Air.

This girl was in a sundress and she was like, don't fuck with me. She kept dropping the area code. Yeah. Yeah. She was not kidding around. Battle for Bel Air turns fatal as residents resist gang takeover. What? What if he saw that girl in the dress?

That's 2021? There's gang violence in Bel Air? Probably not Bel Air. Los Angeles is where my next part was. There's got to be more Bel Airs in there. Yeah, this is Bel Air

in Port-au-Prince. That's Jamaica. Oh, Jesus Christ. It's in Haiti. What the fuck? How dare you? Maybe that's where that blonde girl was from.

Bel Air, Jamaica. Yeah, that's why she's so cocky. She's like, I got this. That's hilarious. Not a blonde in Jamaica. Hey, what's with, would they run out of names? Why is there two Bel-Airs?

There's a Bel-Air in the Baltimore area also. Fuck is that all about? There's Paris, Texas. There's Hollywood, Florida. Oh, yeah. I don't love it either. I think it's ridiculous. I don't think you should be able to do that.

There's enough words. Yeah. Yeah, make something up. Like, you know, Winnipeg. I feel like that ridiculous. Let's get creative. There's enough words. Yeah, make something up. Like, you know, Winnipeg, I feel like that was made up on a whim. Muppet. Seems like there's plenty of names. Thank you, Sarah, because Joe

internally told me to fuck off after that one. I saw it in your eyes. Did they run out of town names? For real, that's so stupid. Why is there another Paris? Don't you know about the real Paris?

Why'd you call yourself Paris? This isn't Paris. No, this is... I feel like you're accusing me directly. I got nervous. I was like, I didn't ever call myself Paris. You fucking did it, Kim. This is like the Black Friday Paris.

Did you guys ever see the Paris that they recreated in China? That's like virtually like vacant? No. It's wild. They've made these. Now, I'm assuming this is real because this was quite a few years ago. This was like before CGI was at its level that it's at now. Because now anything can, I mean, it's so hard to know what you're looking at.

But they used to have this, there was a web series where they explored these places. I forget who did it, but they have these videos of these towns that are like recreations of other cities in other parts of the world. That's so crazy. Whoa. China's strange city of Paris. They have an Eiffel Tower, the whole deal. It's like Vegas, but

nicer. They've recreated a lot of Paris. It's really crazy. It's very interesting. I don't know how accurate it is. It's a one-third replica of of Eiffel Tower, for instance. They expected 10,000 residents, so it's not huge.

Wow. Since there's only 10% of that, so there's like 1,000 people living there. How weird. So weird. What a weird decision to make. It's kind of cool, though. Let's make another Paris. It is kind of cool.

There's something kind of cool about it. Why not? Fuck it. There's one hotel open for guests it. Like, why not? Fuck it. One hotel open for guests, for foreigners. As long as you don't pretend we're the real Paris. Everyone's in berets. It was always us. Walking with bad guests. Imagine

the Parisians are like, hey, hey, hey. You guys are culturally appropriating. They call themselves the originals. Paris actually stole this from us. you think maybe they were trying to do like a resort town nomadosaurus

maybe there's an Eiffel Tower in Ohio at Kings Island it's been there forever it was on the Brady Bunch back in the 70s it was on the Brady Bunch

that's hilarious they just made one it's huge why make the Eiffel Tower there just make something big yeah how many statues

of liberty are there we got ours did anybody ever make their own like the france gave it to us right yeah the french gave it to us yeah yeah and then did anybody else say i want one to make their own what's up france you could just like shit on anything that's ever made and been like i I'm going to make one too and show you how unspecial that is. Oh, so you have a Paris? I have a Paris too. They just built their own Paris. There is a second one in Paris.

They made two and there's several smaller ones, but I think I've seen the one in Paris that's smaller. Let me see if I can find a picture. Here's one thing they're not going to make. The fucking pyramids The pyramids That's one thing

No one's trying to recreate Except the center of the world Those people They got it nailed Look at that Wow Where is it? It's in the middle of a park

Oh And that's in Paris? Yeah That's like We bought this That's a flex It's kind of like We bought two

One for you We like you guys You're a nice startup There's a flex. It's kind of like... We bought two. One for you. We like you guys. You're a nice startup. Theirs is like the classier kind of version. It's like not so in your face. Yeah, it's not in the middle of the ocean either. It looks much more accessible. You don't have to get on a ferry.

Yeah, that's ridiculous. Oh my God. Get in a boat to go visit a statue. Walk those stairs. This is liberty. May she reign forever. Look, George. It's always a guy named george with you it's a statue from paris that's crazy like as if a statue is what's important you know what this means is like absolutely nothing it's well means whatever you decide

people get excited about statues kind of dope And whenever the shit goes down in a movie, if the Statue of Liberty is in the ocean, you know we're fucked. Oh, that's actually so true. It's like the day after tomorrow. It's floating by. Just our eye. If the Statue of Liberty is getting fucked up, we got a real problem. You're right.

Yeah, we identify with that statue. Yeah. Yeah. Like if an eagle gets killed, we're like, hey, not a fucking eagle. Not the symbol for freedom. Eagles. Eagles are amazing.

Yeah. You don't want to see a dead eagle. Statue of Liberty and eagles. It's a bad sign for the times if you see an eagle on the road. Not a dead eagle. I watched a video of a bear climbing up a tree to kill an eagle.

Whoa. It was like, whoa. It was like a juvenile eagle that was in the nest. The bear just climbed up the tree and just grabbed the eagle. Bears look so robotic to me.

They look animatronic. They look like Interesting. To me they look like they would be a good cuddle. Climbing up the tree to get to the eagle's babies. And the eagle sees him climbing up the tree to get to the eagle's babies. And the eagle sees him climbing up the tree. There's nothing she can do about it. Oh.

They got a big ass bear. Whoa. The dad eagle just flew by and was like, well, you're taking care of it for me. That bear's taking a risk, too. Whoa. That's a small branch. Yes. And the eagles are just freaking out.

Whoa. They can't do shit about it. Oh, they're trying to save the babies? Oh, yeah, for sure. You can't do shit about it because you can't risk getting bitten by a fucking bear. That's sad. So he got up there. Did you fast forward through it?

No, I was just trying to skip him through. Right after that altercation, like right there, he gets up there and he bites the baby eagle and kills it. So he's like killing the juveniles and he drags them down. Yeah, not for me. It's crazy. He's eating e juveniles and he drags them down. Yeah, not for me. It's crazy. He's eating eagles. Scary. Imagine a world where you kill an eagle and you eat it.

You kill an eagle with your face and you eat it. With your face? That's so visceral, Joe. Yeah, that's what they do. They all kill animals with their face. With their face, yeah. We can't kill jack shit with our face. Our faces are fucking useless for killing things. They really are. They can kill everything with their face. With their face, yeah. We can't kill jack shit with our face. Our faces are fucking useless

for killing things. They really are. Yeah. They can kill everything with their face. Fuck. And they eat eagles. Death by face?

That's like, that wasn't the first time we did that. That bear just ate freedom. Since fucking high school. No. Like, yeah, we go eat eagles.

The way he was eating, that wasn't his first eagle. No. No. He knew it. The fuck was up there. It wasn't like guessing games. The thing is, what are those guys doing?

Just casually filming. That bear seems hungry. I see that video. I go, we got to go. He seems like that's not going to fill him up. The small little eagle. It'll fill him up for a little while, and they're scared of people. That's a black bear.

Black bears are scared of people for the most part, but not always. They're very unpredictable. But most of the time, they don't want to have anything to do with people. And the real problem is when you catch a mother near their cubs and you're unexpected. They're better off knowing you're there for the most part. And last, they're predatory. And if they're predatory, if they're hungry, they'll try to eat you. And that has happened to people before.

Getting mauled by a bear has to be one of the worst nature deaths. It's got to be. Would you rather get eaten to people before getting mauled by a bear it has to be one of the worst nature deaths would you rather get eaten by a shark or mold by a bear eaten by a shark i'm going mold i'm going shark i'm sure shark might just chop you in half and swim off and decide you taste like a bear's gonna i feel like the shark might like the way i taste there's gonna just tear you. She's confident in the water. They're going to tear your chest apart like an excited child opening up a Christmas present. That was also very visceral, Joe. You just left this place.

They're going to open you up and eat your guts. All right, I'm going shark. While you're still alive. Because they don't kill you. They don't have to kill you. They just start eating. You ever see what they do to salmon? They just start eating. Because they don't kill you. They don't have to kill you. They just start eating. You ever see what they do to salmon? They just start eating.

They don't kill you first. They don't care. Cats kill you first. Right. But bears don't kill you first. They don't have to. They don't care. You're not going anywhere.

I guess the right answer is shark. I don't know if there's a good answer there. They both suck. Both those things suck. What are you going? Shark or bear? I'm going shark all day, every day. Come in.

What about wolves? Ooh. I feel like wolves would be- I'm still going shark. I feel like a wolf would be maybe better than a shark. No way. I'm going to drag you around. It wouldn't be one wolf.

No, it'd be a bunch of them. Oh, yeah. When you paint that picture, I'm back at shark. It was bear, shark, wolf. Back to shark. What do you think is the most pleasant animal death? If you had to pick one. Anaconda.

Ah, nice squeeze to death. No, you think that's the most pleasant? You just go to sleep. The old erotic... Autoerotic asphyxiation. Autoerotic asphyxiation. Yeah, that one. The old jerk off with the belt.

In excess, he died from that. Who? In excess? Yeah, the band. The band. What's his name? From Kung Fu? David... The whole band? No. One guy. I was like, they were all doing it together. Jesus Christ. They're all like, one, two, three guys. Everyone, put on the mask.

Don't let go if you love us. You always got to wonder about those kind of deaths, though. Because if you were going to kill somebody, that's a good way to pose them. That's true. Yeah, because nobody wants to get involved in the jerk off. They're like, oh, God, leave him alone. It's like being in someone's diary. Not only that, it shames them in death.

If you were going to make it so that you shame them in death and you also present such a disgusting scenario that everybody wants to just cover it up because if that's really what he was into, oh, if this gets out, it'd be so embarrassing. So it kind of stifles the possibility of exploring whether or not they were killed. It's just me being criminally minded. If I was thinking that, if you're going to whack somebody, definitely put them in a fucking

wetsuit and shove a dildo up their ass. And fucking tie a rope around their neck and have them like hang in there on the edge of a chair. And it just, it fucked up. It didn't work out. Wow. When I get one i get one i'm like oh they were kinky they were into some shit i get maybe that guy was a piece of shit and maybe somebody was very mad at him or maybe a piece of shit was really mad at him and he was a really good guy and he but he couldn't keep his mouth shut something happened look i think for sure there's been people that have done things like

that before. Of course, yeah, set it up. It's a sick world. It's a sick, sick world. I'm not saying the NXX guy. I'm saying like in the world of whacking people, there's some insane stories that people go, oh, looks like a suicide. Oh, yeah.

Looks like a suicide. Epstein. Well, here's, do you. Well, here's one even crazier. There was a guy who was working for the Clintons. They found him hanging from an extension cord at a ranch with a shotgun wound to his chest, but the weapon wasn't there, and they called it a suicide. Extension cord. Whoa. Yeah.

Well, it seems like he got whacked That one seems a little sus Well the guy that Runs cash app Oh no no he got murdered by someone He knew They arrested the guy He knew his sister

And there was some sort of an altercation About him and his sister Likely story That is the likely story It doesn't have to be that some sort of an altercation about him and his sister. Likely story. That is the likely story. You don't think so? It doesn't have to be that either. Oh, my God.

You're going to peddle in baseless conspiracies. She loves it. Hold on. She loves TikTok. Shotgun did get discovered. Okay. So what? Initially, they didn't?

It was 30 feet from him. Oh, Jesus. That's pretty far, but still close. Could you? I don't know if you would... Maybe. Maybe that might work. If you put it right on your chest and then blast it backwards and just let go of it,

I wonder how far it would go. It says he was found with a cord around his neck and then shot himself. Exactly what you said. In the chest. And cash up, it's like some weird thing where they can't trace it or something about the money.

See, now this is from the NewYorkPost.com, right? So we're not going to know. I think unless you talk to his family, unless you talk, we're just... No one knows anything. No one knows anything.

The earth is flat. But just the fact that the guy was found and he was involved in the Epstein stuff. He had brought Epstein to the White House. Really? Yeah, multiple times.

Wasn't that the case with him? I believe he's the same guy that did that. Who's this guy? In the same sort of case, Ghislaine Maxwell's father. It was a very strange death. He was found naked, upside down in the water near his yacht. But also, if you're Ghislaine Maxwell's father, that's probably how you get your kids. That's how Ghislaine Maxwell's father, that's probably how you get your kids naked.

Getting your dick sucked where you fill your butthole up with seawater off the side of your yacht. It honestly... She comes from a horny family. You get really kinky when you got that kind of money. You get really kinky. These guys are hopping naked in the water, having sex

underwater, holding their breath. Let's mix it up! Give me the furry helmet. Let's mix it up. The furries were created. So maybe that guy really did hang himself and then shoot himself in the chest with a shotgun 30 miles from his house. He could have. He could have.

Seems weird though. Seems weird. You guys got any satellite footage? Everything I've ever said in my life is allegedly. You might want to look into that one. You guys got any satellite footage you want to share with us? Everything I've ever said in my life is allegedly. How good do you think satellite footage is now? Like if you go outside, do you think they could follow you everywhere you look? Yes.

On video? Yes. I think they could have done that 10 years ago. You think so? Yeah. To be honest, I have no idea. I don't trust that we're not being watched. You know what I've been yelling for the last 10 years?

Anytime something doesn't work, like my phone glitches, I'm like, how did we get to the moon? What are you talking about? That's so much less complicated than this phone. Getting to the moon? Yeah. The amount of power that you have in your phone is vastly superior to all of the computers that were linked together in the Apollo project. That's so crazy.

That's true, but that is so crazy to think about. Wow. Yeah. Joe, would you go to the moon if someone said, hey, I have room on my shuttle? Hell no. I would think it's a trap. You would? It's a trap.

You would? Where do you think they'd take you? Well, I'm going to go to a place that sucks. It sucks. It sucks. I can look at it. I see it sucks. Like, stepping foot on it.

I'm sure. I got the gist. I think looking at Earth from space would probably be the wildest. That would be wild. Like, thinking, that's what I would like to see. Like, you're above the Earth. Like, you fly out into space and you're looking back on the Earth. That's got to be an insane thing to experience.

That's got to be insane. Because you get it a little bit when you get on a plane, but it's kind of a freaky thing. You're like up here in the clouds and shit. Like, what are we doing up here? It feels foreign. How do we figure out how to do this all the time? I'm not convinced.

Every time I'm on a plane. Yeah, it might be fake. They might time travel you to New York. What the fuck are you talking about? She does some crazy OCD shit before we get into the plane. She's got to touch it twice. Oh, boy.

I have a touch of the D, of the O, and the C and the D. A touch of the D and the OCD. My therapist says I have a touch. A touch. A trace. A trace.

A trace of the compulsive behaviors. Yeah. If it works for you, if you've got a system, stick to it. She goes, don't worry. I've got to touch the plane twice so that we get there safe. And she goes, I got us. You're going to be happy I touched this plane. I have to look the people in the eye.

And if the people don't look like they have a will to live, I have to pay extra attention during the flight so we can get there. Kim controls the flight. Maybe you do. Maybe you do. Two taps. That's the thing. I can tell. Maybe there's something to that. If there's someone that's not as worried as me, I have to do it. I can tell when

someone can take over and I go, I can nap for a while. We'll both keep it up. Remember when the one captain complimented my sunglasses? Yeah, that captain, you should have hit him up because we could have gotten a little buddy pass out of it. You should have made that captain your little buddy. Have you ever been on a plane where there was a squabble? A fight?

People start fighting. I've been on a plane where they had tried to, a lady, like, you need to get off and she wouldn't get off and she had to be removed and then we all had to come off. I started the boo for her, which was really fun. The Karen boo? Yeah. She needed it. She gets involved. She treats everyone like skank fest. She's like, ah!

I'm out surfing over her. Some of these brawls that you see on planes are fucking insane, where people just pile on top of each other in the sky. That is so nuts that people would do that. Just get in a fight while you're flying through the air. We're in the sky the sky. That is so nuts. It's crazy. People would do that. Just get in a fight while you're flying through the air. We're in the sky, people. Yeah, it is so crazy.

You can't, I don't even want everyone jumping that much on the plane at the same time. I'm like, don't move it. It's crazy that we're going this way and it's going well. Every time I'm like, wow, this is going well. It's great. We're alive. We're flying up here in the clouds. Whenever I get off, when I'm exiting, I look the pilot dead in the eye.

I literally am so thankful for my life when I get off a plane. I'm like, dude, you're just some dude. He's just some guy standing there. And how many times do those planes fly? I mean, they're overused machines. Are you sure? Maybe they're perfectly used. I have no idea.

You're just like saying that. I'm questioning everything I've ever thought. Maybe they have like an extensive like search criteria to make sure that everything is gone over with a fine toothed comb to make sure nothing's wrong with it. I know they do. But there's freak accidents, Joe. Yeah, how many times? There's not that many. Okay. If you think about how many planes fly, obviously, it's one of the safest ways to travel.

If you look at it statistically, the problem is the one that happens. It's so terrifying. Right. But if that's how you go, everybody's horrified because it's out of your hands. You're in the sky. It's all nuts, right? So it's a particularly terrifying way to go. But also...

Right up there with wolves. It would also be weird to survive a plane crash. Oh, my God. I heard about a girl to survive a plane oh my god i heard about a girl that survived a plane crash she was the only one by herself she was the flight attendant and she survivors guilt only she had was broken ribs and i kept thinking about her ex-boyfriend how terrified he was like if you're that lady's durable yeah she comes back sturdy she comes back up and she picks it in her hair she comes back you're likeurdy. She comes back up and she picks up her hair. She comes back. You're like, she's dead.

Finally. That's the thing about something like that. There's certain situations where it's just dumb luck. Like the impact, the way it hits, the way you hit, where it goes down. You know, it's just like, it's chaos. They're probably crash landing, right? Before Travis Barker, you told me this. Oh, yeah.

He says this. You know, Travis Barker. I don't know if this is true. Oh. Sorry. I don't know if anything's true after this fucking podcast. Fuck. Is this even real, man?

Am I even here, you know? But Travis Barker, I think he said in a thing that his daughter asked him not to get on the flight. She had a bad dream. The plane crashed before he got on the flight. And shit happens like with surgeons and stuff. Like if you tell a surgeon that you had a bad dream, a lot of the times they'll try and reschedule.

Oh, wow. Well, for me, I hope that a lot of the things I say aren't true and people are just going to bombard me with real facts after this. They probably will. It seems like a lot of you are doing voodoo, basically doing a lot of voodoo. Me? Yeah.

Currently? No, like what you're saying. Oh. You're into voodoo. Yeah, we're woo-woo bitches. A little bit of woo-woo is fun. Yeah, I have an amethyst in my bag. I bet you do.

A little bit of woo-woo is a good time. A little bit of astrology. A little bit. A little bit of woo-woo's fun. Yeah, I have an amethyst in my bag. I bet you do. A little bit of woo-woo's a good time. A little bit of astrology. A little bit. A little bit of everything. A little bit of Sedona timeshare. Hey, sometimes you gotta go to Sedona and sit through a 10-minute, 10-hour. How often do you have to go a year? No, okay, so what happened is this.

So, I told Kim, I said, Kimmy, we're going on vacation. Pack your bags. We're going to Sedona. And then she involved me. Yeah. And then when I called, when I called, they said, well, on this date, you have to go to 120 minute presentation. And I said, nope, because that's where it goes down.

They lock you in a room and that's where they make you really sign up. I heard it gets bad. I heard sometimes they drug you. They get you really sign up. But I heard it gets bad. I heard sometimes they drug you. Hey, you can't say that. They get you drunk. Allegedly. Everything I said is a lie. Nothing I've ever said is the truth. Okay, so then.

What can you say? So then guess what, Joe? Yeah, but you can't say that because they'll sue you. Who? Big timeshare. Right? Big timeshare. Is timeshare all you guys?

These people, you're saying you hear they drug you? There's a news article about a couple that got locked in a room. They gave them a weird drink and then they bought a timeshare all night. These people, you're saying you hear they drug you? There's a news article about a couple that got locked in a room. They gave them a weird drink and then they bought a timeshare, dude. Really? Yes. Wait a minute. They're drugging? You're serious.

Can you look up couple getting drugged in a timeshare? And I'm not saying that they do. I'm saying that this couple said that something funky happened with their drink. She told me this and then everyone I talked to was like, you can't go to Sedona. Drunk on presentation signing. Couple recants their nightmare. Where was this?

Some even claimed they were drugged. CBS. I got to pee. All-inclusive resorts in Mexico suspected of drugging tourists. What is that? What are they doing? Are they drugging them to try to get them to... To sign up.

I saw it. I saw it, yeah. And they were like, suddenly, by the time... And then you're splitting a fucking place in Mexico with 10 other people. Wait a minute. It just says tainted alcohol. What does that mean? Why has there been so much taint talk?

Alcohol of drinks with alcohol of bad quality and great amounts. Oh, no, that's just bad drinks. There's an article where they're being... Yeah, but isn't that weird that it said suspected of drugging tourists? But when you click on it, that's deceptive, right? The one right there? Oh, headline being deceptive? No way. Yeah, but you know what I'm saying?

Because what it actually said they did versus what they really did, what they did is they served them bad alcohol. The alcohol was bad. But they weren't drugging the tourists. They were just being assholes and they hadn't gotten rid of their- They were drugged. Yeah. I mean, okay, so listen.

So then I decided I'm not going to go to Sedona even though I paid for the vacation and I had to eat the cost. Because I didn't want to get locked into a room. So here it says extortion and all these cases. There's a bunch of cases. Three or four cases of similar weird things happening to people probably at the same place. Okay, so some people probably did get drugged. And they're probably, yeah, that could be, that's their excuse. Who knows?

But now they have a place in Hawaii that they share with seven other people. Yeah, they have a time share in Oahu. In Oahu. Go there and chill out on the beach. The dream is like a place on the Big Island or something like that. Yeah, I like Hawaii. The thing about the Big Island though, it's alive.

Every now and then it spits out lava. No. That's a little too alive for me. It's really alive. spits out lava. No. Yeah. That's a little too alive for me. It's really alive. Spitting out lava. The day after I was there last with my family, it happened. Yeah. An eruption.

Yeah, it was an eruption. There's a great video of them. There was ones a few years back that engulfed this Mustang. This Mustang was parked in the street, and the lava comes across the street and just destroys the car. It's gone forever. It's amazing. That's so crazy. Yeah.

These people live on an active volcano. Yeah. It's the reason why Hawaii exists in the first place. It's a volcano that erupted out of the ocean, and it became this... Five separate... Insane paradise. But if you watch... Pull this video up of the lava eating the...

We should end this soon, too. This is a long-ass podcast. Watch this. Because we're having fun. We're having fun. We still are. Oh, my gosh! Isn't that insane?

That looks like a mud pie. Watch when it hits the car. It looks like an Oreo. Look what it just does. The car just goes right through it. It just goes right through it. Oh, shit. Just turns it into nothing.

It's crazy. That's the Earth. That is so crazy. That's the center of the Earth. That's the center of the world? That's the real center of the world coming out. That's the real of the world? That's the real center of the world coming out. That's the real center. Literally.

We found the real center of the world, Kim, while you're gone. Oh, my God. Yeah, we were talking about Hawaii being the ultimate dream to live on the big island, but it is an active volcano, and this happened recently. Jesus. Yeah. It just consumed a car. You know, not very many things happen the way you imagine as a child, and that's what I imagine happening. Yeah. It's like. They just consumed a car. You know, not very many things happen the way you imagine as a child.

And that's like what I imagine happening. Yeah. Yeah. We all made that baking soda volcano. Most people are not scared of volcanoes, but it's one of the scariest things in all of nature. I don't know. Yeah. It doesn't seem scary in my head.

Well, have you ever heard of super volcanoes? Super volcanoes have knocked human beings down to just a few thousand people. Like 70,000 years ago. Was it the Toba? The Toba eruption? Yeah. There's one in the middle of Yellowstone. That's what that is.

That's a caldera volcano. A giant-ass volcano in the middle of Yellowstone. How big can it? It's so big. It's huge. But how much can it take out? It's like 300 kilometers across. Oh, it will take out most of the country.

Yeah. Hold on. Okay. But how much can it take out? It's like 300 kilometers across. Oh, it will take out most of the country. Yeah. Hold on. Okay, we're going to worry about bears, sharks, anacondas, volcanoes, aliens. Aliens. People drugging you at all-inclusive resorts. Time shares. Time shares.

You got to worry about cults, everything. All of it. All of it. It's too much. Got to keep your head on a sw swivel I go back to the gas station On a fucking swivel The gas station sticker You gotta think of something beautiful Yes

Go back Let's end with that Go back to that gas station That bumper sticker That changed Kim's life Now it changed ours Well listen Ladies

I'm very happy we did this It was a lot of fun This was really fun So much fun Good time We did it When was the very happy we did this. It was a lot of fun. This was really fun. So much fun. Good time. When was the last time we did it? 2014. Wow.

That's crazy. That is crazy. You girls are veterans in the game. Wow. I know. You're doing the road. I want to see the two and see us nine years ago being like, eee.

Today we went off. We probably caused lawsuits. So tell everybody your social medias So tell everybody your social medias. Tell everybody your social medias. At Princess, Princess like normal, and then Shank, S-H-E-N-K. That's where everything is. I have a link tree with all my show dates, and you can find everything there. Both pods, This Bitch and Shank, and I have a Patreon.

And that's it. Kim? You guys can follow me on Twitter at Kimberly Congdon Instagram at Kim Congdon look at y'all you're shy now twitch.tv twitch.tv

slash queencong1 patreon.com slash kimcongdon do you play video games on Twitch this bitch podcast I do nice

I stream yeah nice I love it that's awesome I love it if I could just sit at home if you guys like to watch it cause I'd wanna do that all day

and then go do stand up at night it's so fun she plays Fortnite I hear. It's so fun. She plays Fortnite. It's so fun. Yeah. There it is. Thank you. That's our boy Bobby Lee. Yeah.

Check out the pod. Listen. Show dates at kimcongdon.com. Beautiful. Ladies. Thank you for having us. Bye. Beautiful. Ladies, thank you. Thank you for having us. Thank you. My pleasure. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye.