The Joe Rogan Experience - #1984 - Brian Redban

Episode Date: May 11, 2023

Brian Redban is a stand-up comic, producer, co-host of the podcast and live-streaming YouTube show "Kill Tony," founder of the Deathsquad podcast network, and a co-owner of the Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin.  www.deathsquad.tv www.sunsetstripatx.com

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. Hello Joe, what's going on? How you doing? I'm good. Nice space suit. You have a nice space suit as well. Oh, cool.

Why did you choose blue? I don't know. The silver one's a little tense. Yeah, it's a sweat box. It's weird how warm they get. Yeah. It's like one of them emergency blankets. You ever seen them?

Those little thin silver ones? Like, how can that help you? Yeah. I guess it does somehow. Maintains heat. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So what's it like being a club owner?

What's it like to be a club owner to you, sir? It's weird. Who would have ever thought? I know. That makes no sense. When we started doing this podcast that one day we'd both be club owners. Right next door to each other. That's what's hilarious. And people

are like, does it bother you that Red Band opened up a club three doors down? I'm like, no, it's great. It's great because it's, you know what it's like? You have two rooms. You have your beautiful big boy, whatever, but that to me is the main room.

Yeah, Fat Man's the main room. And then your other one, I think, is the OR, and I feel like mine's kind of like the belly room, because it has the same kind of shows that are in the belly room, the same kind of like the comics are experimenting with new things over there. So it's kind of like the main three now.

I think it's kind of cool. Well, we have so many good spots just on that one street i mean vulcan is just a few doors down creek in the cave is just a block away it's crazy it's like and when you're in town and when different comics are in town like vos was at the vulcan and then he came by and did my club and then you know all these different people are doing that, just going back and forth, and it's great. Yeah. It's awesome. I fucking love it. Yeah, and I think it's because there's no major sports teams here, right?

So there's music and comedy are the big things in this town. I think the music set everybody up for going out to see live shows because there's like a culture of going to see live shows in this town. That was established by people going to see music. There's so much fucking... Ellis Bullard got ripped off. Did you see that shit? They're in South Carolina, I think.

Fucking cunts. What happened? Dirty thieves. They stole... Broken in his trailer. Yeah, they broke into his trailer, stole his guitars, his amps, everything. Now he's got three more shows and no equipment. I saw that.

So is it Ellis Bullard Music on Instagram? I think he's going to put up a GoFundMe. He's got to go out and buy guitars. Oh, look at that. Oh, look at that guitar, too. Fuck. You know, that's the kind of guitar, though, that when somebody tries to sell it,

it'll probably get back to them. Well, hopefully because of this, we'll tell everybody. But it's a, what is it, a 1979 guitar? Is that what it said? A Dobro? Yeah. It's an Eastman 10D Dobro, two Telecasters, and a Custom. Fucking scumbags, man.

That sucks. That couldn't happen to a nicer guy. He's the best. He's talented as fuck, too. Yeah. There it is, 1979 Dobro. Yeah, man, that's ugly. There's some scumbag musician that'll buy that, knowing it's stolen.

Right. Desperate people. That sucks. Yeah, thievery is just so gross. It's amazing how little there is, though. You know, I was thinking about that the other day about car accidents. People suck at driving, but God, it's amazing how few car accidents there are. Most people, every day, you're just moving around, no car accident.

It is weird. And you have to have trust in everybody, too. There's sometimes when you're driving by the semi and you're like, okay, I hope you see me. Yeah. Bro, it's all phones. People need that Apple CarPlay. It's the shit. You can do anything that you need to do

without ever touching the phone. You just say, hey Siri, call Red Van. Bam. Hey Siri, text my mom. What do you want to say? And then you just say it. It's like you can say, hey Siri, navigate to, and you go wherever the fuck you need to go. You don't have to touch anything.

It's the best. It's a real bummer that Tesla won't do that. Why won't they do that? Because they say that theirs is to touch anything. It's a real bummer that Tesla won't do that Because they said that there's is better than Apple It's not it's one of the worst things I've ever used they get some things right and something's really wrong Really wrong is the fob the what is it called? It's not called fob. What is it called? The fucking the car key thing that the stupid handle The yoke. Oh, it's so dumb. Yeah. It's just no. No with the yoke. Give me a goddamn steering wheel.

Well, now you can. Now they give you the option. You could probably get yours retrofitted with it back on now because now it's an option when you order a car now. Can I get the horn in the center, please? Exactly. That's the dumbest thing ever. Fucking sons of bitches. And they also sell third-party steering wheels that actually is a y thing ever and they also sell third party steering wheels that actually is a yoke but they see the one on the bottom right where it makes it a little

bit better that's actually cool yeah that's third party they did a nice interior in that car too yeah the like the interior is like i was in the interior of um a porsche electric car it's very nice very nice that's the new one? That's another aftermarket. But do they have it as an option? Can I go to Tesla and say, hey, get rid of this whack-ass steering wheel? Yeah. When you order, just go to Tesla.com

and act like you're ordering a car, and one of the options should be a Model S. One of the options is you can get a steering wheel yeah from what i understand it's just for driving for actually like turning and parking it's stupid yeah the yoke is stupid it's funny because when they first uh when they first uh they're right steering wheel yeah you can choose uh-huh Give me a goddamn steering wheel. Yeah, when they first announced it, though, I was like, that is the coolest thing ever.

I want that so bad. But just like the little thing, I'm not putting the horn in the middle and the turn signals. Oh, it looks like the horn. No. The horn's back in the middle. Yeah, it's in the middle. Yeah, definitely. That's what I need, Elon. Why wouldn't you put the horn in the middle?

Are you sure? Yeah. Well, what I'm seeing is when I change it from yoke, the buttons all stay the same. It's just the outside. Yeah, because the new yoke has the horn in the center as well. Oh, that does? Yeah.

Okay. They fixed it. But mine doesn't. Mine sucks. Some guy cut in front of me, and I was like, Jesus, buddy. Just looking for the... And the turn signal, do you constantly hit the turn signals? Always wrong.

So bad. Accidentally hit left, right. This is the... The stalk is the way to go. Yeah. It's so easy. It never gets in the way. There's nothing back there.

Right. Your hands are never back there. So it just goes... Right. Left, right. We know how to do it. It's perfect. Yeah, there's even that second stalk that I even forget that that's even there sometimes because I don't even see it

yeah the one in behind this left stock well that's the adjuster right yeah but there's like a whole thing there you never see you know in doing everything on the screen it to make things simple they make things way more complicated like if you have to adjust your mirrors, Jesus Christ. Right. You gotta get in there and do do and then lift for the left and lift for the right. No. Stop. You're making me think too much.

When in my car, I don't even have to look at it. I just reach over, I press the button and I can adjust it. I just do it real quick, easy. It's better. Physical buttons are better. Always. Slide to reverse. The worst is when the car has their volume

knob and adjustments on the screen. Terrible. Am I touching up volume? You want to be able to do it where you can keep looking at the road. Just reach over, grab the knob, turn it to the left, turn it to the right. You know? Volume. We know how to do it.

Temperature. Easy. Button. Yeah. Button go high. Button go low. Come on. Just make the buttons look sexier or prettier.

Porsche knows how to do it. Yeah. Porsche's got all buttons. They figured it out. I looked in their interior. I'm like, that's a better interior. They know how to do it. They've been doing cars forever. Everybody tries to reinvent the wheel.

Some parts, like blinkers. Click, click, click, click. Keep it like that. Don't be putting it on the steering wheel like an asshole. And companies are coming back to it also. Look at the latest MacBook Pros. They're bringing back the SD card reader. They're bringing back all the ports that they got rid of. Oh, are they really? Yeah, but then you hear these rumors that the iPhone is going to get rid of buttons and it's going to have zero buttons. The whole thing is... What disturbs me is going to all wireless charging.

Like, why are you doing that? That's the worst. You know it's slower. That doesn't make any sense. Like, just making that everyone has to have a wireless port somewhere. Everyone has cords, man. Keep the cords. Just go to USB-C.

You see that? I saw a loop post of this yesterday. It's like a new prototype. Yeah. Who knows what this is going to be. It's going to yeah the new prototype yeah who knows if this out it's gonna be it's going to have the new USB C port which is the deal this is the ultra yeah it's basically the same but I guess that's like the ultra watch I think probably the titanium so what is it maybe

different the screen border is a lot smaller it has a USB-C port now. And the volume rocker, it's not two buttons anymore. It's one long button. Oh. And the mute button, the clicky switch to mute that never works is now a button that's going to be used for like an action button, I guess. So how will you mute it now? You probably hold that down for a second or something like that. That look at this top comment i will never use an iphone android people are hilarious they are so in a cult they really don't like they're we're against the machine man literally your phone is used by more humans than any other phone on earth i sent him photos

to a group chat last night And half a second group chat without the android person So they can get the photos uncompressed And they look good Because in that group chat they're all fucked They can't see the photos I don't know if you know that Oh

If you have an android person in your iphone group chat They get the photos good That android will get them But everybody else Every other iphone will not get them good Why? Because it compresses it Because it has to go to that sms will get them, but everybody else, every other iPhone will not get them good. Why? Oh, because it compresses it because of the text. Because it has to go to that SMS, and then it goes to everybody else.

You have to leave them out, make a new group chat, be like, sorry. Is that why it always says message failed to send? And then I'll send it like 10 more times, and people are like, why does he send me this 10 times? Because it keeps on saying it failed. Yeah. So it's like if you text message from an iPhone, it's inferior. If you text message an image, which text, not SMS.

I'm not trying to talk shit on my Androids, but that's what I do. They'll see it perfectly fine and be like, what are you talking about? I see it looks great on my phone. Look, I'll send you photos. But it gets compressed to the iPhone. But yeah, when it goes from that Android to the network again, it'll be dog shit on those fucking Androids. Or on iPhones, I'm sorry.

Especially video. Especially video. It's very frustrating that you can't just go back and forth, that they've created this walled garden with Apple. Because one thing that Android does that's really good is they're always the first with foldables. They're the first with crazy zoom lenses. They're the first with...

They figure out everything first. They have way better screen real estate there's much more screen to an android phone than there is to an iphone you know that stupid what is that thing in the top that nobody really cares about right the island the island yeah out of here who's using that island android has better fake fake moons. Yeah, the fake moon. They got so busted with that fake moon. You can't sneak things past the internet. Yeah. When those guys figured out that you could take a blurry photo and put it up on a laptop and then zoom in on it and your phone will make it look perfect. And I always wondered about that because when you got the Galaxy S21, you sent me a moon photo and I was like, holy shit, and it made me want one so bad because you sent me that.

It was pretty cool, but now I feel like a loser. You just sent me a JPEG. I sent you a drawing. NFT. Yeah, it was fucking CGI. What are they saying it is? Because it's clearly, whatever that process is, it's not a photograph. No, it's like AI.

It's pretty much it knows what the moon looks like, and it uses yours as a reference to find what angle you are at, and then it just kind of fills in the gaps. So stupid. It's not a photo. It's not a photo. It's not a photo. It's fake.

How do they not get in trouble with that? That seems like that's a real, like, violation of trust. I think it is in the writing somewhere. Like, people found out somewhere that it is in, like, the terms somewhere. Yeah. What was their excuse? What was Samsung's excuse? I don't think they've admitted to it.

Yeah. No, they did. They did. They did. I thought at first they were like, I don't know what you're talking about. They're just going to keep their mouth shut. I don't know what the fuck you guys are talking about. Their response was very Bud Lighty.

You should know that. Bud Lighty. Dude, has there ever been a business, ever, in the history of businesses that got hit with a boycott like Bud Light did? Who fucking saw that coming? Who saw that coming? I mean, they fired two CEOs, right? Yeah. That's crazy.

Off of image. Well, they're down something like 21%, which is wild. That's so much, man. Like there's bars that refuse to sell it. That's ridiculous. There's bars that refuse to sell it that's ridiculous there's bars that refuse to sell it because it's causing fights because if people drink it guys will fuck with them totally which you totally could see some moron in a bar bro drinking a bud light you wearing a fucking skirt Bro, you support Dylan Mulvaney?

Who? Yeah, I can see a lot of fights. A hundred percent. I can see that happening. That's a surefire scenario in some moron bar. Yeah. You drinking a Bud Light? Miller Lite and all the other beers need to jump on this hard and just have bikini beard commercials nonstop right now.

Right, with guns. Yeah, with guns. Just tits and guns. Hunting and... Yeah. The problem is like light beer is a true alcoholic's beer because it's something you could drink all day long. Yeah.

That's like a guy who just likes to work on transmissions. He's just back in the backyard just drinking Bud Light all day long. I stop beer. I used to only drink beer. And I'll have a beer once a year maybe. But I just stopped drinking beer. Tequila's better. Yeah.

Tequila seems to be the best in terms of how you feel afterwards. Oh, yeah. All of it's poison. All alcohol is basically poison. Absolutely. But tequila seems to be the best poison like your body absorbs it the best better there's no really hangovers as much uh with that also yeah now when i drink whiskey we would drink a tequila a lot lately now when i drink whiskey i'm like

tequila press you ever have that that's that that's uh it's tequila with soda and a splash of Sprite. It's great. I just like the taste of tequila. I don't like, I mean, I'll drink stuff like at the bar downstairs. I always have those Wild Childs. Those are good. They're tasty. But I like booze to taste like booze. I like to know what I'm getting into.

Yeah. I like to smell the fucking evilness in it. I don't. I mix my shit with Kool-Aid and stuff like that. Yeah, you get a prime. Yeah, this shit. It's just like the most sugary drink that doesn't have sugar in it. What are they using for a sweetener?

I don't know. I haven't had the hydration one, but I had the energy drink one. It was pretty good. Yeah. I mean, they taste amazing, but they also taste like K-aid for like with three times the sugar in it really so it's really good I mix this with like vodka and stuff it's a good mixer but yeah it's too much too strong well that hydration market all of a sudden everyone's realizing they're not hydrated yeah it's too many hydration products out now.

And all those hydration products, the sodium content in those are out of control. I don't know if you ever looked at just one of the hydration products, sodium levels. Because I've been drinking two or three of these thinking I'm drinking water, doing good for my body. But then you look at the sodium levels, like 1,000 milligrams. I don't necessarily think sodium in and of itself is bad for you. No? No. I think that's the electrolytes and stuff they're adding.

Yeah. Some of that you want. Yeah, you want some. Particularly if you're exercising. Like if that's an athletic drink, then you definitely want some sodium. You want all kinds of stuff. This only has 10, so that's not bad at all.

I don't think sodium, I think that's one of those things where there's like a lot of common misconceptions like salts like people worried about salt bad for you salts an essential mineral like you actually need salt like it's I don't necessarily think salt bad for you I think we've got a lot of wives tales floating around and people you know had some information at one point in time that seemed to link sodium to certain diseases but now i don't think they think that anymore let's let's find like is sodium bad for you like sodium and sports drinks yeah i mean joey diaz used to always yeah but that's just joey monosodium glutamate I heard that there was a salt that was bad for you.

This is another one of those tales. Like Himalayan salt or pink salt. Really? They found out there's something bad in it now. Really? Yeah. I might be wrong, but. I thought that was supposed to be the salt that's the best for you.

Exactly, yeah. That's like brown rice, you know? Maybe it's because they're not getting it all from there and they're saying it's that. I feel like I might be wrong. Oh, that's right. Oh, because they're not getting it all from there, and they're saying it's that. I feel like I might be right. Oh, that's right. Oh, like they're getting some bullshit salt. Not that they're dying in pink, but yeah, they're saying it's that, and it's just, I don't know. Yeah.

Dirty mine. Pouring Kool-Aid on it. Right. Turning it pink. Yeah. Sodium and sport. What am I looking like? How much?

Yeah, is sodium bad for you? Google, is sodium bad for you Google is sodium bad for you yeah I think it's like everything else is the quick answer it says I should probably ask you your body needs a small amount of sodium to work properly but too much sodium can be bad for your health diets higher and sodium are associated with the increased risk of developing high blood pressure which is a major cause of stroke and heart disease. You know, the problem with that is diets high in sodium, those people are probably overeating too. Who is that source?

FDA. FDA? You can't trust them. They're bought out by the pharmaceutical companies. It's horrors. They are horrors. Do you know what's wild? When you see, have you ever seen, like like different people that were the head of the FDA and then where they go after they leave?

They're major corporations. It's always Pfizer, Moderna. They go straight to drug companies. That should be illegal. That seems insane. That seems insane that you literally could be the regulatory body that helps these pharmaceutical drug companies and then join them and get millions of dollars. My girlfriend just went to an allergy person where she had to get like a thousand shots and find out what she's allergic to. And she's allergic to everything.

And she doesn't have insurance. So she went to the doctor and they were like, OK, we'll work with you not having insurance and they finally prescribed her her pill and it was like 1200 a pill or something like that like she went to go pick up her prescription and it was thousands of dollars and she had to do it like every two weeks to get it filled up how would you ever like one pill is $1,000. For allergies? Yes. I wish I knew what it was,

but it was the most ridiculous thing ever. How would you expect anyone to pay for this? You have these pills at HEB right now? That's what that Martin Shkreli guy, whatever his name was, that's what he got in trouble for, right? Jacking up the price. Yeah, jacking up the price.

So what's the story with sodium? So I got an answer from ChatGPT. It basically started off saying the same thing, but down here it gives you like a recommended. Okay. Sodium is an essential nutrient the body needs in small amounts to function properly. It helps maintain the balance of fluids in the body and supports nerve and muscle function and helps regulate blood pressure. However,

consuming too much sodium can have negative health effects. The most common concern with consuming too much sodium can have negative health effects. The most common concern with consuming too much sodium is that it can increase blood pressure, which can lead to higher risk of heart disease and stroke. High sodium intake can also increase the risk of developing kidney issues and osteoporosis. Recommended daily intake of sodium varies depending on age, sex, and other factors, but in general, adults should aim to consume no more than 2,300 milligrams of sodium per day. That's not that much. Yeah.

Foods that are high in sodium include processed and packaged foods, fast food, salty snacks. See, that's my point. It's like all that stuff, like it's associated with it, but is it causal, right? Is that what's causing it? Because the thing about people with high sodium diets is it causal right is that what's causing it because the thing about people with high sodium diets is like usually their diet is bullshit they're just eating all kinds of crap like if you have regular food like healthy food but you put salt on it is that bad because i'm betting it's not that bad i'm betting whatever the fuck is in the other stuff is what's getting you. You know, it's like whenever they do those epidemiology studies where they study like your

diet based on like a, you fill out a form, like how many times a week do you eat meat? How many times, how much cancer do you have? And then they like pool all that information together and they go, meat is associated with cancer well it's like what else are you eating are you eating grass-fed steaks are you eating some shitty burger that's in a fucking processed bun with some goofy ass mayo with salt or and sugar all over it and fries and shakes like how do we know it's the meat you're it sounds like your diet's bullshit like there's like so many people have bullshit diets yeah that said like salt can't kill you like if you like eat a pound of salt you're fucking dead as shit they used to think msg was like this horrible

monster and people still anymore huh i don't think they think it's bad anymore right it's not bad anymore yeah monosodium glutamate used to be the devil right and there was a reason for it and it I don't think it's bad anymore. Huh? I don't think they think it's bad anymore. Right. It's not bad anymore. Yeah. Monosodium glutamate used to be the devil. Right. And there was a reason for it, and it was something really stupid. It was like legalization of marijuana is stupid. Really?

It was never bad for you. I forget what it was. Wow. Some industry or something. Bourdain always told me it wasn't bad for you. He's like, no, it's essential. It makes food taste way better. Mm-hmm.

Especially that kind of old school East Coast Chinese food with monosodium glutamate. It was the best. Yeah. The best. It's delicious. The best. Put in more MSG. Just don't eat it every day.

Imitation crab. Do you know imitation crab is actually really good? If you've ever seen those imitation crab legs at the grocery store and they look real but it's just imitation? It tastes exactly like crab legs. Well, what's in there? It's just fish. Yoga mats. Yeah, that's what I thought. I thought it was just like yoga mats and like wheat or something.

What is it? No, it's fish. It's just a different kind of fish. Oh, Alaskan pollock. Okay. Made ingredient. Pollock tastes good, though. And if you get some hot. Oh, wheat. That's it. Wheat. It is wheat. Wheat and eggock. Okay. Made ingredient. Pollock tastes good, though. And if you get some hot... Oh, wheat.

That's it. Wheat. It is wheat. Wheat and egg white. Yeah. Binding ingredients. Oh, my God. I thought it was a shrimp.

Yeah, that's why. Because one of my kids cannot have imitation crab meat because of that. Holy shit. I didn't know there was wheat in it for real. But you get some hot butter. Those things are just it's amazing look at that word transglutaminase transglutaminase enzymes that's a coagulation binding agent oh that shit ain't good brian just just eat the regular Pollock that doesn't have wheat and fucking binding agents in it.

But it tastes good. It tastes exactly the same. Yeah, like if you get like, there's certain Chinese food they give you fake crab. Sushi. Some sushi has it also. It's good though. Tasty. But it is wheat.

You're eating a lot of wheat. It is crazy that there's wheat in there. I was just joking about having wheat in there. It makes sense because it's like dough. They have to take all that fish meat and just smash it into a shape. There's a chef in New York at a restaurant that used transglutaminase-treated shrimp and made pasta out of it. This is pasta made from 95% shrimp.

Wow. Whoa. Sounds interesting. I mean, we have those, like, I've seen chicken, like, pizza, like as the bread kind of, you know, how they do it with cauliflower and stuff. I've seen it done with chicken. The Avant Garde restaurant, WD-50. Yeah, this is chicken made with that stuff. It's probably the same thing. Huh.

Wow. Meat glue. Meat glue? Ooh. Meat glue? Never mind. stuff it's probably the same thing huh wow meat glue meat glue oh meat glue never mind it's meat glue i wonder how that feels going through your colon uh i found this place that's up where i live and it's called taco casa and uh i went to it once and it was like holy shit this is the best white shitty tacos I've ever seen. You know, like white people tacos like your parents used to make?

Found out that back in the 60s, this guy was friends with the creator of Taco Bell, and he had a couple franchises. And then that guy that owned Taco Bell sold the company to Pepsi in like the 80s or so. And the guy that was friends with him had all his own Taco Bell restaurants. And he's like, fuck Pepsi. I'm just going to rename my franchises to Taco Casa.

But keep the exact same menu that Taco Bell has and all the ingredients. Pepsi then changed all the recipes for Taco Bell. And that's why Taco Bell when you were a kid seemed like it tasted better and everything was better it's because they changed all their meats and they changed all their degrees. Taco Casa is Taco Bell from the 60s 70s with the original menu items it even has the color scheme as the old advertising of Taco Bell. Really? Yeah and you go in there and you're like holy shit this is the best tacos ever and it's just Taco Bell. Really? Yeah, and you go in there and you're like, holy shit,

this is the best tacos ever. And it's just Taco Bell from the 60s. And it is amazing. Wow. Highly recommend. And they're fans of you. They, uh, because I always Instagram

and tag them and stuff. That's crazy. It's weird. That's kind of cool. Like, if there was a McDonald's you could go to that was a real McDonald's from the 50s where they cooked all their fries and beef fat.

Yep. Exactly the same. Yeah. I just got it for the first time recently, maybe three years, McDonald's. The Big Mac was so fucking small. Yeah. Oh, they're all small now. It was like a regular burger size.

Everything's smaller now. Yeah. The Quarter Pounder's the only good meat at McDonald's also because that's the only one that's not frozen. So if you want a Big Mac, you ask for a Big Mac with quarter pounder meat. That's the way to do it. Oh, yeah. I guess, well, they did do this, but still it was so small. They made a bigger Mac at one point, but it was so tiny.

Really? Yeah. It wasn't filling at all. It was like five bites and the whole fucking thing was gone. Well, Whopper also, I don't know if you've had a Whopper lately. They're smaller? It's just bullshit. It's like it doesn't even have that.

You know how it used to taste like smoke and everything? Yeah, flame broiled. It doesn't have that anymore. Really? I guess Burger King just announced they're closing like 250 stores. Like they're on the way out, I think. How are you going to fuck with In-N-Out? I had it last night.

You can't. You can't. You can't. Like there's a reason why that has a giant ass line. Not where I live. You just walk right up to the counter. There's not one car in the drive-thru. It's the most amazing thing ever.

You shouldn't tell people that. I know. You're fucked up. If there was a Five Guys near me, I'd pick that. That's my favorite. That's right next door to Five Guys. They're the best. Yeah.

I think that's the best because you can get jalapenos and bacon. They're so expensive, though. That's ridiculous. One burger is like $13. I guess it's not fast food, though. That's what you have to tell yourself. They're cooking it in front of you. The fries are better.

They have those Cajun fries. NADC burger. After talking to him, they're using awesome meat that you can't get everywhere else. Yeah, they're using Wagyu ground beef. It's so fatty. Yes. That's why it's so goddamn juicy. It's so good.

Yeah, those NADC burgers, it's hard to fuck with that. But Golden Tiger's pretty goddamn good, too. Yeah. You just have to wait a while. That place is the bomb diggity. Yeah. It's funny how thick burgers used to be the thing, but a smash burger is better than a thick burger. I agree.

Double patty smash burger. It's the crispy ends and stuff like that. Yeah. That's the way to go. burger that's the crispy ends and stuff like that you know yeah that's the way to go i just love when you get a guy like philip who's a michelin star chef who just concentrates on making the best cheeseburger with american cheese like that's the idea behind it yeah and he's like american cheese is the proper cheese for a cheeseburger like this for a proper smash burger. I wish he would tackle pizza. I want to see his take on pizza. Yeah.

Right? Flat pizza. What would it be? What kind of style would it be? Does Austin have good pizza? Is there one place that has really good pizza? There's one place up by me called San Giovanni's or something like that. It's a distillery during the week, a vodka distillery.

And then on Friday and Saturdays, they have a legit pizza oven. And they cook pizza. And it's so amazing. Have you had good pizza out here? It's hit or miss. It's not. I mean, Ohio pizza is what we grew up on. So we have very high standards for it.

It's so true. This place that I went to in the Bronx The Italian deli that made us a sandwich GNR Deli That place, if they moved out here They would make a fucking killing If you had a place like that That made sandwiches like that out here The pepper place

Yeah, it's important for Italy It's all important for Italy I mean, how What would be the difference? Nothing. It's just imported to here. The thing they've always said, like, when we were in California, it's like, it's the water. The water sucks out here.

That's why you can't get the right dough. And it's like, I don't know if that's really it. In Ohio, a lot of it's the oven. Like, they've made these ovens they don't use everywhere else, kind of. Like, that was always the thing about California, that the water in California sucks. That's why the bagels suck. Right. Right?

Everyone always said that. I mean, maybe? Can't you just ship water? How much water do you need? Is this prohibitively expensive? Is it impossible to do? What is wrong? I don't know. It doesn't make sense. I feel like I've heard it busted, like a myth busted, but maybe it is.

But what do you think is in water, other than water, that would make your pizza better? Well, the thing that makes sense as I'm saying it out loud now is the yeast because that's in the air, is it not? Doesn't that come from like the environment? Yeast? Well, it's a fungus, right? Yeah. Or spores.

That changes the dough, right? Right. Like they would have different yeast because of different water? What would be the content of the water? That's the question. It's like water's not a mystery. You know, water's not like some strange compound

from another planet that we have to analyze. Like, we kind of know what's in water. It's H2O and minerals, right? So can't you add minerals

that would sort of recreate whatever the mineral content? Yeah, you should be able to recreate it. It seems easy. A little bit of rat hair in there.

A little bit of fucking SSRIs floating into the... We're going to open a bagel shop. Sounds like pizza. Pizza's the move. Pizza and bagels. We need like a real legit pizza place here. Maybe there's one we don't know of yet.

I sample them frequently. If not once or twice a week. The person to ask is Portnoy. I did ask him. So the place he went to, I'd never heard of. It's called like Samatoro or something like that. I've had it now, and it's pretty good. It's just it's not my style of pizza. I don't think it's his style of pizza either.

It's a little more – it's way too nice kind of. It's really kind of thick, bready, crust. He likes more of like a New York style. Crust, like New Haven, Connecticut pizza. Yeah, he hasn't found a good one here in Austin. And then, like, last week he said that Houston is the worst city that he's ever been to for pizza. Really? It's all on where the guineas go. Yeah.

You know, if the Italians go to, you know, California, they'd have great pizza out there. And some of them did. There's some good pizza in California. Oh, yeah, for sure. Regardless of whatever he says. But the bread does taste different. Bread in New York really does taste different. Italian bread from New York tastes better.

It's like there's something missing when you get bread in California. There's something wrong with it. Just something. Just like an imitation. It's pretty good but it's missing something. Maybe it's the yeast. I'm going to Google and see if there's a quick answer. Well, you know, there's like where Cuban cigars are grown.

It's a very small area where they grow the best cigars. It's very small, and they supply them to the whole world. Someone was just explaining to me. Oh, Bill Burr was explaining to me how most of the cigars that people buy when they buy Cuban cigars are frauds. Fake. Yeah. It just happened to him. A bunch of firemen gave him like 25 Cuban cigars, and he was like, I got these cigars.

And then like a week later, he said on his podcast that he found out they were all fake. How do you find out? You get them genetically tested? Yeah. How do you know? Yeah. But it makes sense because it's a small area. area in cuba where they grow the best cigars it's not that big and they supply the best cigars to the whole world it's weird that like soil can

affect stuff so much like that's the mineral content that's the 100 article i'm reading right now it's talking about how they change the what they're putting in the soil to grow wheat and whatnot. That makes the air better but makes the food not as good. Well, this throws off everything because L.A. has the worst air ever. Less acid rain is good for the environment but potentially bad for bread. But I don't think they're growing the bread in California is the problem. Yeah. The Wonder Bread factories aren't out there.

Wonder Bread. Is that even bread? It's so good. It's so good. Wonder Bread with peanut butter and jelly is about, is that food or is that dessert? Yeah, that's a squishy sandwich. Sunday night in Columbus. It's more dessert than it is food.

Like a Wonder Bread peanut butter and jelly sandwich is Wonder Bread grilled cheese. Sensational. Oh, yes. Sensational. I agree. But is it really bread? No, that's more like a pastry, right? It's a pastry. It's a pastry. sandwich it's wonder bread grilled cheese sensational oh yes sensational i agree but is it really bread no that's more like a pastry right it's a pastry but i i just recently went back to white bread just because i accidentally bought it once and it was so amazing like that peanut butter jelly it's so much better when it's just shitty white bread yeah like if you're gonna

eat peanut butter and jelly peanut butter and jelly's not good for you anyway. Let's stop playing games. Have it on a piece of white bread. It's not good for you, but I also don't feel bad when I eat it for some reason. When we were in New York, we stopped at Katz's Deli. Three o'clock in the morning, had a Reuben. Oh my god, it was sensational.

It's that high. It's just oozing with sauerkraut and sauce. Do you think that's unnecessary though? It's perfect. You don't have to have's that high. It's just oozing with sauerkraut and sauce. David, do you think that's unnecessary, though? It's perfect. Like, you don't have to have it that high. Shut the fuck up, you communist. Yeah, that's just crazy. It's amazing.

Look, it was so good, dude. Wow. It was so good. And it's just the fact that it's the same place every time you go back. This guy that we've been going to, every time we go to this one meat cutter, like the way Cantor's works, or excuse me, the way Katz's works. Cantor's my favorite spot in LA. The way Katz's works, you get a ticket when you walk in, and then you get a bunch of things punched on the ticket, then you pay on the way out the door.

Well, when you walk up to the meat cutter, you give the guy your ticket, tell him what you want, he writes it down on the ticket, he gives you a little slice of pastrami to try. This guy's been the same guy we've been going to for a decade. And finally we had a conversation with him. And he goes, I'm celebrating 33 years here. I'm like, 33 years?

Like he started there when he was a kid. Wow. Yeah. What a life. Can you imagine your whole life working at the same like a weird food place probably long ass hours too that's the place that's so crazy classic it's nice it's so classic and it's been the same interior since like you know the fucking early 1900s it's just an amazing place. It's a real New York staple. And all those guys that are working

behind the counter, the meat cutters, if you see the meat cutters in there, those guys are all classic New York characters. I can already imagine what they look like. Yeah. Why is there not a picture of them? It's just the food and people eating there.

Whatever. It's awesome. Old and people eating there. Whatever. It's awesome. Old spots like that are the shit. There's something about old places. Like that's one of the things about the club that we have is that there's something about that old ass building. It's amazing. That building's got like a personality. I was watching a documentary about that place,

your place, a couple weeks ago when it was still a movie theater. And they were in the projection room. And I guess that projection room would be around where the green room is. It is the green room. Yeah, yeah. And so it was really cool seeing it and seeing the differences and stuff. One thing, did you guys put in the spaceship when you walk into the lobby or was that already there?

Yeah, we put that in there. Well, it's weird because I just played the other Alamo theater the other day They have an amazing little room in there and they have almost exact replica of that spaceship On the second floor like that. It's crashed right? Or you know it's like the the round the rounds. Oh, yes, it's because Is that's Richard too, right? Is that Richard Weiss? Did he design that? I believe he did. Oh, he did? Because it's so familiar

to me. That's because that's the recreation of the Close Encounters of the Third Kind scene which is an amazing scene. Remember that scene? Yes. See if you can find that scene. I fucking love that scene. That's such a good scene. God damn, that was good. When that big UFO just showed up and it was near

devil's tower and took people aboard and aliens got out the mothership that's what it was yeah yeah so when um we started that's out fuck look at that oh give me some volume because it Give her six quavers, then pause. She sent us four quavers, a group of five quavers, and a group of four semi-quavers. This is such a good movie. We're communicating with UFOs through sound. These razors have in common a five signal. I hope somebody's taken all this down.

What are we saying to each other? Seems they're trying to teach us a basic tonal vocabulary. It's the first day of school, fellas. Take everything from the lady. I don't know. Why would they play the tuba, though? If you're an alien, it would... I think if they were to make that movie today,

it would be, like, very synthetic sounds, like EDM or something like that. Yeah, for sure. It would be, like, trumpets. Back then, they never predicted EDM. The closest they had was disco. Yeah. It was kind of EDM-ish.

Yeah, but better. That fucking movie was amazing. It would definitely sound like Skrillex fucking. Yeah. Yeah, they have. That fucking movie was amazing. It would definitely sound like Skrillex fucking movies. Yeah. Yeah, they have like keyboards and piano. I wonder why they decided to do it this way, to have language be communicated through music and lights. Yeah.

That's the 70s. It's the 70s, man. They didn't know any better. Isn't it funny that even in today's science fiction movies, no one's on their phone? Yeah. There's an article I read about that. I wonder if it's true. They said it's not interesting to watch people on their phones.

It's definitely not, but it's also not realistic to not have people on their phones. Is it a movie or is it not a movie? It's true. Only TV shows, people are on their phones. I just rewatched top gun the other day have you seen the original top gun in a while that doesn't really hold up very well man there's a part where he's hitting on a girl and then he finds out that the girl is with a guy her husband or wife or boyfriend or something like that and so then she he just starts watching her she goes

to the bathroom and he follows her into the bathroom and starts talking about how he wants to fuck her on the sink. And it's just like, how creepy. Tom Cruise is just going into women's restrooms and then talking about fucking her on a sink and shit. Wow. It was weird. It was one of those movies, my girlfriend's so young, she hasn't seen seven.

Like, oh, you got to see Top Gun. And halfway through, she's like, this is the cheesiest movie I've ever seen in my life. I'm like, yeah, it is. Those are the cocaine days. They were doing cocaine and writing. That's like the showgirls days. Oh, yeah, for sure.

Showgirls is the best cocaine movie of all time. She's with her husband and stuff. He's like, ugh. He's drinking his Bud Light, by the way. He's a regular Budweiser. He doesn't drink light. And he goes to the ladies' room, and he's going to follow her. Oh, my God. Give me some volume

on this. He just met her. He just met her. He had this counter in mind. Gordy, that would be very, very comfortable, yeah. It could be. Actually, I came in here to save you from making a big mistake with that old guy.

Really? So I could go on to a bigger one with a young guy like yourself? Maybe. No. This movie sucks. I know. And this is the woman's restroom. He just met her two minutes before this.

This is so weird. It's so weird that she's like, get the fuck out of here, you creep. And then other women aren't in there shitting. The whole thing is just like, what the fuck kind of writing is this? And she went into the bathroom just to look at her lip or something. She didn't even do anything in the bathroom, if you notice. Just want to reapply makeup. Yeah.

The writer's strike's happening right now, right? Mm-hmm. So are all those late night talk shows fucked? They're showing reruns and stuff, yeah. Yeah. That's hilarious. They can't operate without writers? Mm-mm.

I would just do AI. I'd be like- How about just interview people? Yeah, exactly. Just bring people in. You have to have writers. Did you see the South Park episode they did with that? No.

I think they had ChatGPT write an episode. Oh, they did? At the end it says, like, co-written by Trace Parker and ChatGPT. It might have been a joke making a joke about the whole thing. Or they might have actually used ChatGPT to write a monologue. You can have ChatGPT write a monologue for Jimmy Fallon. Oh, yeah. Come on.

That would be easy. You should type in the chat, GBT, make a romantic story summary between Joe Rogan and Jamie. That would be easy. Do it, Jamie. It doesn't know who I am. I've tried. Oh, really? It's sort of, yeah.

It made up three people. I asked who works on the show before. It made up three names. Michio Kaku had a very good point. He's like, it doesn't, it scours the entire internet. So it's like people write nonsense and lies. It scoops up those nonsense and lies and throws it in there too. It can't discern, but it will be able to eventually, supposedly.

I heard that there's people that work behind the scenes on like ChatGBT and they're just like minimum wage, like McDonald's workers. What? Yeah there was an article that just came out yesterday about chat GBT employees people to forget what they do but they kind of like fact-checked or label the responses and they end up they're only paying like $15 an hour. I think this was that this might not be the same article, but I think this is how they were using it to program it maybe. Open AI used Kenyan workers for less than $2 per hour to make GPT less toxic.

Less toxic? Yeah, there used to be a service a while ago, a long time ago. I forget what it's called, but people – you would ask a question and people would do that. They would answer for you and then respond sort of like cha-cha or some shit like that. There's something super creepy about the fact that it's become totally normal for companies to use people in other countries that make almost no money to make things that they sell for thousands of dollars like iPhones. Yeah. It's so weird.

for thousands of dollars like iPhones. Yeah. It's so weird. It's so weird that no one has shifted to manufacturing something like an iPhone in America. No one has shifted to manufacturing all these things you see, these fucking creepy places where they're digging minerals out of the ground

to make your phone. Just one company. One company. Make everything here here pay everybody well make everything make me not feel like shit for buying a phone I've tried to like font is there a phone you can buy it's the most ethical phone yeah not really not unless you want a fucking cord plugged into the wall right look what's the most ethical phone? Yeah.

There used to be that one. Isn't there the Fairphone? Is that one? There used to be that one. Aren't they whack, though? The problem is they can't compete. You also have to use Android. Yeah.

I will never use an iPhone. Is there anybody that's more in a cult than the Android people? Talking to Brian Simpson, I would have to agree with that. Brian Simpson's ready to switch. Oh, is he? I work on him sometimes. Oh, you work on him? Yeah. I work on him.

Just get him an Apple Watch and see what happens. I do it 100% just to fuck with him. Spread through. I'm like, come on, bro. Come over here, blue. You don't want to send green text anymore. He's like, well, when they come up with a USPC, maybe I'll do it. I thought I wouldn't have to change all my chargers.

I go, yeah, that's the time That's the time you'll never go back like once you airdrop someone a video in like five seconds And you realize like oh, this is like perfect resolution. It went through Bluetooth. I don't even have to Wi-Fi on mm-hmm Oh great. That's the best Bluetooth Airdrop is the shit yeah, and the fact that they can't share back and forth with Android, that alone keeps me from, you know. I mean, how many times do we take photos and just AirDrop them to each other? Yeah.

AirDrop's amazing. It's amazing. I use it all the time to do it to my computer. Oh, they just announced yesterday that they're bringing Final Cut Pro and Logic to the iPad, which is insane. Wow. Like, you could edit ProRes video on an iPad now. Wow, the processing power is so good now. Yeah.

It's crazy that that thin little thing has amazing battery life, crazy processing power. Mm-hmm. Final Cut Pro on an iMac. Yeah. Or on an iPad. Final Cut Pro on an iMac or on an iPad. But the bad thing is I think about when I edit Kill Tony and all that stuff, there's no way that it has enough storage space on that iPad to do all that.

Don't they have a terabyte? You get a terabyte. The biggest one's two maybe. Maybe. And I don't know if plugging a hard drive in works the way it should on a laptop. Just put it all in the cloud, Brian. No. Put everything in the cloud. We'll take care of you up here.

No. Come on. All you dick pics. Up here in the cloud. No, instead I have a closet of hundreds of hard drives. Remember when we used to take them to the range and shoot them? Yeah, that was fun, dude. That was a lot of fun.

I need to do that again. I still need to get a gun. I'm going tomorrow. Oh, yeah? Want to go to the range? Let's go shoot guns. What kind of gun you want? I'll get you a gun. I was thinking a Glock 17 or a Glock 19 or something.

What's a John Wick gun? You got to see a badass gun. I don't really like guns that much, but that gun looked fucking sweet. The pistol you mean? Yeah, I got one of those. What is it? Taron Tactical. Go to Taron Tactical's Instagram page. Oh, I want to see what that is. It's a 211. And why is it when girls

shoot guns at gun ranges, they're always hot as fuck? Like, they're like in a chill league. That's just on Instagram. If you go to the place where I go, there's some burly ladies. Okay. There's some stout women. Yeah, there's also the shotgun he has. I think it's burly ladies. Okay. There's some stout women. Yeah, there's also the shotgun he has. I think it's also Taron's gun.

That's the Glock. That's the 34. So that's the heat tape, what Taron Tactical does. That's the pit viper. That's the one that I have. That's the shoot. That looks great. That is the smoothest, flattest shooting gun.

That thing is so nice. Wow. So the shotgun too or no? Yeah. In action, no spoiler alert, but the shotgun in the movie was cool. Yeah, I can't wait to see the movie. It comes out on streaming sometime in June apparently.

So I'll wait. Yeah. I can't go to the movie theater anymore. I can't either. Dude, I didn't even see Avatar yet. Oh, Avatar. I saw Avatar in the movie theater. I took my kids though. We were on vacation. I went to see it. It was great. Yeah.

It's great. We didn't even see it in IMAX. We didn't see it 3D. It was awesome. Wow. Those movies are great. It just sucks. It takes them 15 years to make one.

Mm-hmm. But he's on the process of, they filmed a bunch in a row, right? Right. Yeah, there's another one coming out like a year or two or something like that, I thought. Yeah? I thought. He didn't want the kids to age weirdly he's a crazy fuck that james cameron but he knocks it out of the park you see the mario movie no was it good i heard it was fun it's a fun movie anything that's in the movie theater i'm not saying yeah i wait till it gets

on streaming it's not that long yeah i can wait a few months there's plenty to watch me too are you watching succession no i don't watch it at all i don't watch any of those i watched uh that new asian show with uh margaret show was it beef yeah yeah david show david yeah that's amazing it's great it's easy to watch it's uh the characters are all awesome david's awesome in it yeah i've heard it's really good david's this i love all awesome David's awesome in it. Yeah, I've heard it's really good. Yeah David's this shit. I love that dude. He's so nuts Yeah, he's great man. He said he was thinking about moving here last time. Yeah, it was the movie. Yeah yeah, I Brought him to the club and Toward him around he's like god damn my cats paradise. Mm-hmm. Yeah, he yeah

He grilled my girlfriend because she's Asian. He goes, you're who I want to talk about. Is this good for an Asian place? He's like, where can I get real fucking kimchi? Real fucking dirty, buried in the backyard kimchi. He loves that, kimchi, man. Kimchi and meat, what a fucking great combo that is. Elk meat and kimchi.

I've never had elk meat and kimchi, but I love kimchi. Have you had elk meat before? Just that one time you gave me some. It was amazing. Did you cook it? I think you cooked it for me. I brought it. I should have everybody over for a barbecue.

It's getting hot. We should do a fucking daytime comics barbecue at my place. Yeah. That would be fun. You know who can cook? Donnell Rawlings. Yeah. Donnell can cook.

He can really cook. Like, I haven't experienced it perfectly, but I've seen some of the photos, personally rather, but I've seen some of the photos and Dave talks about it. He's like, he can fucking cook. Like, really barbecue. He knows his shit. Like, he gets, like, real intense about it, too. Motherfucker, I can cook.

I can cook. I'm like, okay. I believe you. I believe you. He's hilarious. Yeah, we should do that. We should have, like, okay. I believe you. I believe you. He's hilarious. Yeah, we should do that. We should have a comedian's barbecue. That's what I want to do one of these days.

The ultimate goal for the podcast is a ranch. To have a ranch where we can go and fucking launch missiles and drive ATVs and have a pond to fish in. I want to have an outdoor amphitheater. I want to have a place where we can go and we can do all kinds of wild shit. Not just sit down and have a podcast, but have a podcast

on a fishing boat. Just fuck around. Have some fun. That sounds awesome. We need to fuck around more. We're getting older, Brian. We don't have much time left.

I failed my eye test at the DMV the other day. Did you really? Yeah. Oh, no. So getting your license out here or getting anything done with the DMV out here is completely insane. You have to get your car inspected every year, even if it's brand new, even if it's electric. Yeah. There's all these extra things.

And the DMV was no different. I had to do all this stuff. And finally, I get down to the eye exam test. He's like, all right, read the bottom line. And I couldn't fucking read it. I said like, and he goes, there's no numbers in this. And I'm like, oh shit. Because I was like, one, five, H.

You know? You were just blurry. Yeah, and he goes, do you have glasses? And I'm like, yeah, I have glasses at home, but they're not that powerful. And he goes, you have to go home and get them. So he made me drive all the way home, like 30 minutes, and he goes, do you have glasses? And I'm like, yeah, I have glasses at home, but they're not that powerful. And he goes, you have to go home and get them. So he made me drive all the way home, like 30 minutes, and come all the way back. And then I put on the glasses, and this other guy takes out this other piece of paper

and doesn't make me read the bottom, makes me read the middle. And he goes, I'm like, oh, I just have to read the middle? And he's like, yeah. And I passed immediately. And I was like, wait, why did this guy make me read the very bottom from 15 minutes? He doesn't like you. Yeah. Maybe he's a Kill Tony fan. He doesn't like you. Yeah. Maybe he's a Kill Tony fan.

He's mad at you. Yeah, maybe. He's on the Reddit forum. Yeah, the regulations out here for that are a little stricter. It is weird. I hate the inspection thing

because they look at your tent, they look at everything. Yeah, it's okay. It doesn't bother me that much. Yeah. It's weird how much more free you are with other stuff, though. Like, even in the city of Austin, like, getting the club open was a breeze.

I mean, there was, like, some stuff we had to go through, but everybody was really pleasant to deal with. Mm-hmm. No problems. You know? They're, like, people are excited that comedy's here. That's one of the cool things about it. It's, like, the town itself. Like, I of the cool things about it. It's like the town itself. Like, I met the mayor the other day.

He was cool as shit. And they're all excited that we're here. It's fun. It's great. It's like, it's a new thing, you know, to have, like, a whole comedy community to set up shop, you know? Like, literally, like, a giant chunk

of the comedy store's here. Just setting up shop. Holtzman's here now. My favorite thing is every week, who's in town this week? It's kind of like we get our own comics coming to us. It's kind of like it's fun. It's like our own little festival. Yeah.

So we're flying people in. Ian Edwards was here last weekend. Russell Peters was here the weekend before that. It's fucking great. Harlan Williams is here. Yeah, he killed it. Yeah, he's hilarious. He's such a good dude, too.

If you don't like Harlan, like, who doesn't like Harlan? Have you ever even heard a bad word said about that guy ever? No. Never. No. Never. Because he's the good kind of funny. He's the sweetest guy on earth.

He's so nice to everyone. Always. Always has been. I've known Harlan for, like, like 30 years he's always been that guy hey buttercup he's always been like super friendly to everyone managers waitresses staff it's just a nice fucking guy funny as shit always been that guy too so nice that someone could like make it in show business and just be the sweetest guy. You know? No worries at all.

Yeah, so having guys like that, like, come in every week is amazing. Jessica Curzon was here the other day. She did a couple of shows. Joey came by. Wish Joey would have stayed longer. Joey's so crazy. He only did one set. It's so funny. Joey was supposed to do

the 10 o'clock show. I go, do the fucking 7 too. Come on, Joey. Go up there and fuck these people up. Come on. Because he hasn't really been doing that much stand-up. And so he had to get himself worked up. He got really angry right before. Yeah, he's angry at us.

He fucking loved the fact that his quote is on the wall, though, in neon. Get it together, bitch. Yeah. How many times did he say that to us? Get it together, bitch. Get it together. He fucking probably said that a thousand times. Every time you're about to go on stage, get it together, Red Band.

Come on, get it together, bitch. Let's go. Let's go, cocksucker. Science. Yeah, so he was here. Dave Smith was here. The boy Ari and Shane and Norman are coming by this week. Oh, my God.

Oh, that's great. Next week, brother. We're going to have so much fucking fun. It's been amazing, man. It's like a dream. When you're in that place, you're hanging out in the green room. This place is perfect. Yeah.

Everything's perfect. Yeah, I've been hanging out a lot more now. Ever since it opened, I was like, this is what I miss. You know, this hang is what I miss. The clubhouse. Getting to talk shop. Like, me and Tony and Sarah and Kim were just sitting in the booth last night just laughing and talking shop. Just talking about gigs and bits and this and that and travel.

And you remember this time and that time and oh my god it's fucking that camaraderie that you get from a home base is what i've missed so much and now i feel like we have it more than we ever had it before more than the store even you know it's like the store it's like the store's back bar on steroids and then when everybody goes down there and the music is awesome and everybody's happy just such a great environment man and one you guys have one of the best staffs also there's not like one bad staff member everyone's pretty just solid no they're great they're well because we brought so many people from the store and then carrie just took care of all you know she just knows how to handle stuff yeah she's the best it's just fuck it's amazing it just it feels like a dream like while

you're there like how is this real how did we do it and especially for us because we talked about doing it for like two fucking years you know it's like for two years everybody was like mocking us like when's your club opening i I'm like, it takes time. It takes time, okay? It's not that fucking easy. It takes time. And you've done so much to that place, though. There was a lot of construction.

Lowering the ceiling, I heard, took an extra two months just for that? It was some time. Well, that was after Louie came by. Yeah. Louie came by, and he gave me some really good Pointers a really good piece of advice I should just say direction because I just did everything he said, you know, he's like this stage is too big She make the stage smaller. I was like, you're right. Why is it something? Yeah, it's good

So this is like while construction was going on. They had a cut into the bar the rebar and shit Okay, we're gonna make this two feet shorter on each i think we made four feet shorter on each side of the stage yeah the little boy a little room and so then um he said in the ceiling the ceiling was already low in the little room he's like lower it even more because all the ceilings the way the alamo draft house was it was a movie theater so it was set up like a movie theater. It's like stage, you know, like concert, stadium seating. And so what we did is we lifted the floor up in both rooms. So it's flat now, flat across, and then we lowered the ceiling as well. So we just made it just cozy.

Best sound system ever. Yeah, it's perfect. It's so amazing. It's perfect. And it's like one of those things where when comics experience it, they realize like, oh, this is the optimum environment for doing the art. For being around the comics, having fun, all fucking around together and having a really good time. And the audience has a great time. It's magic.

It's like everything I could have ever hoped it would be. It really is. And I'm glad that you're right next door too. It's fucking awesome. It's awesome to have so many close, because like,

even people that are staffed there, they're like, those folks that work the door, those folks are all stand-ups. So if they have a spot, like at the Creek in the Cave at like 9.30, they can punch out

and go do their spot and then come back and punch back in yeah and that's it's amazing because like you know i did the secret show and half your staff is on the show when they're wearing their comedy mother like everyone's wearing the same staff shirts you know uh and that's a good thing because that's i that would never that's never heard of of any comedy club like in la they would never let you like clock out at the Laugh Factory to go do a spot

at the Improv. Are you kidding me? You know, that would never happen. So that's what, there almost needs to be a position that all the clubs pay for,

like a yoni or somebody that goes in between each one and goes, hurry, you have three minutes to go back to work. Right, right. Well,

we were trying to set it up for new talent, too. The big thing that, you know, Burr and I actually talked about this, is, like, the big mistake that a lot of these big clubs did is they stopped doing open mics because you don't ever develop any local talent. You've got to, like, bite the bullet on those nights, and you've got to have two nights of amateurs. I think two nights is the way to do it because that's how the store did it.

Amateurs. I think two nights is the way to do it because that's how the store did it. And I think, you know, the development process here is probably going to be more accelerated because you have more opportunities for sets or sets all around town. There's sets all around that block and you're going to get to see like top flight comics who come into town, which is big for you like young comics to see good comics it's very important for me like uh but growing up in boston especially starting out there was so lucky to be able to see guys that are already like really good because if you're in a spot like you know some city where there's not that much common you start your own open mic night like who you who are you working with like? There's no one there. It's hard to develop

unless there's other comics to sort of compare to and watch. Absolutely. And that doesn't happen in a lot of these corporate clubs in cities where they just have a wacky comedy club. You can't just hang out there. They won't let you just hang out there

as a young comic and watch. Also, people kind of know what you're doing. know they'll come in if shane gillis is in town they'll come in if rich boss is into they'll come in and pay but they're not going to be there all the time you know it's like but to set it up the way that we set it up like who the fuck's gonna do that yeah nobody's gonna do that we also uh at sunset that we have uh open mics on the day of kill tony we'll have before kill tony starts we'll have one minute mics so people can go in there and you know just try a minute real quick before they go sign up for kill tony that's good because if you do get a chance to do kill tony you already warmed it up

yeah yeah that's good and to test out the too. A lot of people think a minute, you know. Well, you have a good place, too, if a big comic wants to come, too, because you have 500 seats. Yeah. Yeah, we can go up pretty high in that place.

Right now, we only have it like at 200, 300, if we need to. Oh, so you have it like modular? Yeah, we have it, so they take the seats out and make it how many ever tickets there are. Oh, nice.

To make it a little bit more intimate and stuff. That's good. Spread it out and stuff. It's a good space, though. It's a good space for stand-up. There's a speakeasy right below it, which is so weird. There's this light in the alley, and if the light's on, that means it's open. And if you go down our back stairs, you'll just see this door,

and it's like, what's in that door? You open that door, and it's just this underground bar that looks like it's in the 80s and it's really trippy. And it's so interesting that there's... Really? How big is it? It's pretty decent. It's about the size of a Subway sandwich place or something. Yeah, it's interesting though.

The speakeasy business in this town is very interesting. There's a lot of secret bars. Yeah. How does that work? It's like they're private clubs, so they can get away and stay in openly. Right. There's one down the street from us called VCR Repair or something like that. You know what I'm talking about?

Floppy Disk Repair. It looks like a computer store or something, like Floppy Disk Repair. They get the code to get in every day. They change it. Really? If you go into a different bar, I think it's like the garage bar, which isn't a parking garage.

It's like, why is there a bar in the middle of this fucking parking garage? Whatever. And you go inside, you're like, hey, what's the code to the other bar?

They might tell you, they might not. There's another way to get it to, I read, but I've never been in it. What's in the floppy disk bar? Oh, show the picture of it if you can.

I've never been inside of it because I always thought it was like, what is going on here? This is like a rug store in Glendale. This is a money front. Like, who's going to get floppy disk repairs? A rug store in Glendale. That's the outside. Like, look at this.

Like, what? That's a bar. Oh, wow. There's the secret door kind of thing. Huh. That's the bar. It's like swings. And so it's just a bar with-

Special weird drinks. Hmm. Okay. I can't really saw a lot of pictures of that. It's like Swings. So it's just a bar with- Special weird drinks. Hmm. Okay. I can't really saw a lot of pictures of that. Alrighty. There's a lot of those in Austin, though. It's weird. It's fun to have them.

Yeah. There you go. A lot of secrets. Like Swings is the seats. You've done that, what is that, Spider Ballroom? Oh, yeah. The Spider Ballroom. They do stand up there sometimes?

Yeah. Yeah, they do a lot of shows there. That's a nice little stage. That's a dope-looking room. Yeah. They sold, I think the owner sold it to a new owner, and so it's not the exact same as it used to be. It used to have a lot more charm. There was an old piano outside that had been weathered down by weather,

and they used to have this really cool courtyard with all this really cool stuff. And it looks like somebody just kind of cleaned it up now. So it's still pretty cool, though. Have you done the Velveeta yet? No. Velveeta's across the street from Vulcan, kind of. Ron said there's another room across the street, too, called the Green Room.

He said it's like 70 seats. Oh, I haven't even heard of that. Yeah, me neither. Probably going there for 20 years. What? Yeah. So there's haven't even heard of that. Yeah, me neither. Probably going there for 20 years. What? Yeah. So there's apparently another spot there, too. All those, ask the locals.

There's all sorts of mics that are going on all over the fucking place. Yeah, I showed you pictures of the Alamo I did the other day. It was like being in a circus. It was the coolest room ever. I think Richard did those, too. The guy who did our place, we got the same architect who did the remodel for the Alamo Drafthouse. So the same guy that did the Close Encounters thing, that beautiful thing. All these Alamos are all themes.

They all have different themes, like the theme from The Shining. There's the one where it's the carpet with the big wheel in the middle of it. He did all those. That's awesome. Yeah. Kind of like fries. Remember. Kind of like fries. Remember fries? Exactly like fries.

He also did, the RZA has a bar in Staten Island called the Flying Guillotine. And it's like a kung fu themed bar. Like, cause you know, Wu-Tangs, they're all into kung fu. So it's all like and that's why it's called the flying guillotine because I think the flying guillotine was a Kung Fu movie have you been to that Wu-Tang inspired restaurant here in Austin no what is it

you know what it's called Jamie uh Danny Brown took me to it and it's uh it's something Wu-Tang it's a restaurant and like everything's they only play Wu-Tang the whole time you're there and stuff, but it's like a Chinese restaurant. Wu-Chao? Yeah. Wu-Chao? Wu-Chao. Wu-Chao's not Wu-Tang inspired, is it?

That's what Danny Brown told me. I don't know about that. Danny Brown told you that? Yeah, because they play Wu-Tang the whole time. They play all kinds of music there. No, I don't know. On Danny Brown's truck. Yeah, maybe he was.

Maybe I misheard him, but that was a while ago. But yeah, he took me there. That place is cool. I like the food there. Yeah, Wu Chao's great. That's TK's place. TK, he also owns that omakase sushi place, Toshikan. Have you been there?

No. Oh, my God. It's amazing. There's some good spots. Yeah, maybe if TK was there and they were just playing Wu Chao No. Oh, my God. It's amazing. There's some good spots. Yeah. Maybe CK was there and they were just playing Wu-Tang. Yeah, maybe. Because last time I was there, they were playing all kinds of music.

But the Chinese food here is legit, too. Yes. Have you eaten at Lin? No. Lin is legit. Lin, I think she started at Wu-Chow and then left to start her own place. Where's it at? It's off 6th. Off 6th.

Yeah. It's great. Yeah It's off 6th. West 6th. Yeah. It's great. Yeah, I'm up there, man. I'm up north, so I don't really haven't gone to a lot of stuff. You're out where you hear gunshots at night.

Oh, yeah. There's a bobcat that lives in my backyard. Yeah, coyotes don't howl in your neck of the woods. They get shot. Sidetracked. Old video I saw,

but maybe it's new. There's a family walking through the jungle, I guess, and like a mountain lion or jaguar or whatever pops up right next to them. Little kids. Two little kids. Guide, mom. They just freeze.

Have you seen that? No. Okay. Where is it? I couldn't tell. I thought as you were saying it, I was like, maybe this is a really old video. I felt like I had seen it before, but also just watched it yesterday. There was a fox in my yard

the other day. That's cool. They're so cool. They're so cool looking. Their faces are so interesting. They're thinking. They're looking at you. They're thinking. What are you? Family walks through the jungle

Oh shit, I Wouldn't be that scared of that. Yes, you would You would be scared as fuck. Take that little kid so fast. It's lowered. It's stance. Look at it. Thinking about pouncing.

That's it? That's it. It just ends right there. I don't know what happened. Where are they? It doesn't say. It's like a Reddit, what the fuck happened. Yeah, because that's a mountain lion. It could be a Florida panther.

It could be a mountain lion. Maybe they have them like that. Do they have mountain lions in Mexico? I know they have jaguars. Do they have mountain lions in Mexico? I don't know. I would think so. I would think if they have jaguars, the jaguars fucked up all the mountain lions probably.

Do you still have a cat? No. I'm thinking. I miss having a cat you gonna get another cat? I don't know I was thinking about getting one of those big cats big fluffy ones?

oh servals? no not that big wild ones? those are scary the ones that look like like a furry mask oh yeah

have you seen those like those servals when they like feed them chicken wings and they growl? no yeah that's scary. Those are primal.

Those cats are real close to a wild cat. The people have them, they put them on leashes and shit. Mary Lynn Ricegub has a huge cat, too, that's kind of like that. Doesn't she have a sphinx cat? Yeah. Those are those hairless ones. Apparently those are super affectionate because they're cold all the time, so they want to snuggle with you.

No, it's not that. I think it's one of those giant cats you were talking about. Like a serval? Yeah. Yeah, those are. Yeah, like one of those. Yeah, those are crazy cats, man. Look at that thing.

Yeah, see? Look at it. Whoa. Jesus. If you get too close to its food, it'll fuck you up. Look at that thing. Yeah, I think that's the kind of cat she is. She has one of those?

Yeah. Wow. John Jones used to have those things. Yeah, those are real close to wild. You know, I mean, how much of a pet is that? Can you cuddle with those things? Wouldn't it just fuck your furniture up? Oh, yeah.

You wouldn't have any furniture. I don't get it. It would destroy your couch. Yeah. Nah, that's not the same thing, I don't think. No, that's just a cat. She's got a cat. It's a huge cat, though.

Yeah. Oh, man, that kind of looks like a Serval, too. It looks exactly like those. Yeah. Yeah, these things are, when they get big, they're like three times a regular cat size. Yeah. Fuck that.

Yeah, what are you doing? Like, are you allowed to have those everywhere? Are those like the kind of cat? Can you just, does that count as a house cat? Or is that some sort of a weird exotic that you can only get in certain states? I think you're allowed to have those. I bet you can't get them in California. California, you can't even.

There's like a bunch of animals you're not allowed to have in California. You get a license in Texas to get one. Oh, you have to have a license. It's illegal in every other state except for like these. Whoa. Yeah, interesting have to have a license. It's illegal in every other state except for like these. Whoa. Yeah, interesting. So they are pretty crazy to have. Okay, so they're illegal in California.

So you need a license in Missouri, Oklahoma, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Maine, Mississippi, Montana, Idaho, North Dakota, and South Dakota. In all other states, Serval ownership is illegal. Yeah, those are barely pets. Can you have a Serval cat as a pet? Serval cats aren't legal everywhere in the U.S. Yeah, she's got one of those. That is one. She's a criminal.

You're a goddamn criminal. Huge. How dare you? You're not allowed to have that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that they have to ruin your life. What else did it say about? Did it say how dangerous they are to keep as pets?

That just said the same thing as the thing on the top. Google, are they dangerous? Are Serval cats dangerous? I bet they're dangerous. I bet they fuck people up every year. Depends how they're raised, I guess, right? Yeah. They don't... Okay. The strength is much higher than that of a normal cat,

and even if they don't mean harm, they can cause it simply by playing. Servals have a bite force at the canine teeth of 172 newtons, whereas feral domestic cats have a bite force of 56 newtons. Wow. Wow. That's a lot. That's a big fucking difference, man. That's more than three times stronger. That's crazy. It would be

cool to have one. Until it's standing over your bed, deciding it's going to kill you. How many people get bitten by those things every year? You think anybody has ever died because a serval cat killed them? No. Well,

I'm sure yes. I bet one shitty kid. Yeah. You know? One kid was hitting it with a stick or something and it just fucked him up. Right to the throat. How many times a year do people get injured by serval cats? I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking.

It's like, right? It seems like one happened at a zoo. Oh. Yeah, that's where it belongs. Well, it belongs in the wild. Let's see. There's a video. Officials looking for owner of several cats shot.

Oh, this kid was killed over the weekend. Yeah, if they get out, you got to kill them. That was in Columbus, Ohio. Oh. Fairfield County, which didn't seem like that was on the list. Where are they from? Where are they from originally? People are so weird.

Like a regular domestic cat's not enough for you. You have to get this monster. Wow. Native to Africa, sub-Saharan countries, except rainforest regions. Now Google Serval cats getting crazy video. There must be something like that. Yeah. Serval cat versus pitbull oh jesus i got my money on the dog yeah definitely 100 yeah

this also calls it a savannah cat you think that means yeah yeah yeah angry savannah cat angry savannah cat someone's house let's see what it does serval cat playing with kids how about serval cat attacks let's see getting crazy get crazy bro thisicious serval cat attack. Oh, no. Oh, boy. Attacks a toddler? Yeah, it's just a news story.

Oh, they could have it on. Oh, that's. Whoa. Oh, my gosh. Just a quick bite. A little scratch. Not good, though. Not good.

What are you doing, though? Right. Hanging your baby. Yeah, what the fuck is that? Why would you have your baby anywhere near that thing? What was the first video? There was another one. That's not much of a tag video.

Vicious cerebral attack? We'll see. Vicious. Sorry, we're having trouble playing this video. So maybe they're holding it down with a cheetah. With a cheetah? Whoa. Oh.

This is out in the wild. Yeah, why is that serval cat fucking with him? Get out of there, bro. Yeah. This is a face-off cats be crazy yeah but you see how big that cat is like why would anybody have that as a house pet that seems so ridiculous what's the video we've seen before there's two animals just like this screaming at each other oh that was two lynxes that was crazy you ever seen that no lynx is

yelling at each other. They were trying to fight over territory, but they don't want to injure each other. They don't want to get injured, so they're reluctant to engage. So they're standing in front of each other going, Oh, awesome. Look at their faces.

Someone put captions on it. This is why she doesn't like you. How weird. It is weird. Who runs into this? That's so cool. It's interesting how they both are in agreement that they're not really going to touch each other.

Almost. Look at the back legs on the one on the left. It looks like he has really big feet. Oh, they do have big feet, man, because they run in snow. They're cold-weather cats. It is interesting when cats live in cold weather like that. Whoa. It sounds like two little kids walking around in the backyard.

It's interesting how they both know not to get after it because they can get fucking hurt. So they're just like bluffing, even though they're standing right in front of each other. You ever seen a snow leopard? Yeah, it's another cold weather cat. Like you always think of cats as like a jungle creature. Well, there's a lot of cold weather cats. Siberian tigers, big furry ass tiger. That's what everybody ran from for most of human history.

Just running away from big cats. that's the cleanup crew of nature anybody with a limp anybody that can't figure out a spear anybody doesn't know how to get to the top of the tree that's a wrap have you been watching uh chimp empire no what's that it's really good chimp empire yeah it's a documentary series that's on netflix about uh these chimpanzees and these folks like got embedded with these chimpanzees the footage is fucking insane it's it's absolutely insane and these camera people are just accepted by these chimps because they've been there for so long. The chimps just act normal around these camera people and they get to see them. Their social hierarchy, how they have waged war with neighboring clans.

They control territory. Like the territory that has fruit is run by this one group of chimps. These other ones came in and killed a chimp. It's crazy. Oh, man. I want to watch this. It's really intense. When did this come out? Just recently? It's pretty recent, yeah. It's really,

really good, man. And the footage is unprecedented. They used drones. They used camera people. They did all kinds of stuff to get incredible tree-top footage up there. They kill a lot of monkeys

a lot of monkeys like that's their favorite thing to do they kill monkeys and eat them and when you watch it happen over and over again you're like oh boy that's fucked up this little like legless monkeys like they're just eating his guts

oh god I just had that happen to me two days ago. I have this toad, and I nicknamed him Jeff. He just lives in my front yard, and he just sits underneath the light at night and waits for bugs to, like, fall on the ground underneath the light. And I came home the other night from mothership. It was, like, 2 in the morning. I get dropped off, and I'm walking to the front door, and there's a possum with half of him in his mouth with blood just splattering out everywhere. And I didn't know what it was.

I was like, is that a rat? Wait, what's in his mouth? What's he eating? And I have it on my ring camera and the toad's just half missing, guts hanging out, still like frogging. And just blood, so much blood everywhere, dude. frogging and just blood, so much blood everywhere, dude. And one of his legs was just been sucked off the bone just sitting there. One of the most coriest things I've ever seen in my life.

Possums are ruthless little fuckers. Fuck them. I hate possums now. They're weird. Yeah. Like, if you see their mouth, like Marshall got one the other day. It was actually a while ago. He got one, and I don't know if it was dead or just plain dead. It was like, ah.

Right. But, like, you see them with their mouth open and their fucking teeth. What a creepy-looking animal. They are. And what a weird defense mechanism. It just plays dead? Yeah. Like, I don't get, like, it has, like, some sort of a panic attack and can't move.

I told you when we lived in Burbank, Janice called me once when I was at the commie store and she goes, there's a hurt possum. I brought him in and he's in a box and I have him wrapped up with a towel and I'm like, he's not hurt. Oh my God. You got a possum in your house. A crazy girlfriend that doesn't understand

wildlife. That bitch is gonna get rabies. I was like, throw it out right now. She was holding it like a baby. Oh my god, it's hurt. Does she know what playing possum is? She's never heard that before?

Oh my god. I have pictures somewhere. I'll send them if I find them. Why do possums lock up like that? I don't know. Is there a reason for that? Why do possums play dead? Why do possums play possum? Yeah.

Well, I guess that is like, hey, I don't want to fight. I'll just act like I'm dead. But then things just eat you. Yeah, it's going to eat you, I guess. Yeah. That is weird. Unless something is just trying to neutralize you. Right.

Then you just pretend you're already neutralized. It says it's an involuntary response to that system. It's only a defense mechanism. Oh, it's like a fainting goat then. Yeah. Involuntary defense mechanism that somehow or another

imparts some sort of natural protection. Most predators don't want any animals already dead. They want to kill it. Oh. I guess. They just act dead.

It's like a numbers game. Ugliest animal in the world. Their fucking mouths. Toad-eating monsters. Yeah. That's probably the only animal that when it's a baby, it still doesn't look cute. What a fucking creep. You gotta have a thumb like a raccoon.

I'd take a raccoon any day over that. I want to send you something, Jamie. This is fucking... This guy had this photo of a wolf mouth on his Instagram. I was like, holy shit. Like, you don't realize what the inside of a wolf's mouth looks like. Who? How close up is it

oh god probably closer than that whoa that's pretty crazy that looks like your your statue yeah

it looks fake yeah well their bones are designed to crush I mean their teeth rather are designed to crush bones did you just send I can't find it.

Oh, okay. I'll find it later. I'll send it to you. Yeah, fuck them. Fuck all those things. That's one of the things about Texas. Like, coyotes don't howl out here as much. Yeah.

Because they get shot. Yeah. They figure it out. I'm close to thinking. No, it's not. What? It looks like a fake photo. No, it's real.

No, no, I know. But I've seen so many mid-journey and fake AI photos, like it's all starting to look like it's not real. No, there's a series of photos of that wolf. That's nuts. Yeah. Yeah, the AI stuff, not being able to know if something's real or not. Alex Jones was just on the news yesterday about being trolled by ai and he's like some guy from canada yeah someone like called him yeah with someone else's voice right it was like tucker carlson yeah it's pretty funny

yeah that's the world we live in now dude you're not going to be able to tell within a year there's no i mean there's no notice i mean who knows what's real what's not you're going to be getting news stories that are fake and they look completely real like attacks and i mean the ability to pull off like a false flag attack now and think things along those lines like you just fake them it's whack the dog i mean they're going to be able to do i mean within a year every person that has ever recorded anything they'll be able to get your voice and have you say anything. Like, they have people calling up their parents. Yeah.

And it's a fake kid. It's already happening. It's getting kidnapped. Yeah. Scary shit. Now, is that real? Because I heard that also. There was, like, a Facebook post about it.

Like, watch out for this new scam. They have AI. You know, and there was a story about like somebody thinking it was their mom or something and getting a loan out i've heard of this happening way beyond the ai stuff which i find weird that it's because now it seems very capable of going on but i definitely have heard this as a facebook post story going around for a few years like a grandparent was called in a ransom thing and they just paid it without calling. I was like, how did they do that then? No idea. But they didn't have to do it with a fake voice back then.

The claim was that it sounded like the grandchild or whatever. And how were they doing that is beyond me five years ago. Now it seems very easy to do, obviously. I believe it. I don't know of a firsthand account. I've talked to someone like this happened to me. I've seen a lot of videos of people saying this happened to me. They use my voice.

So I've told my parents, I'm like, hey, don't believe anything you hear anymore. Call me first. Code word. But yeah, I don't know. It's a while you have to send out a preemptive strike. Yeah. If you get anything, don't believe it. Call me first.

I'm reminding my mom every week just in case she forgets. It's all fake. Just remember it's all fake. Don't believe it. We're real close to not having any idea what's real. And then with AI, the fact that AI is going to be able to answer any kind of question, but it's also programmed. So AI is very woke. Like if you ask AI, one of the things it said, is it okay?

Like, should I be proud to be white? If you say that, if you ask AI, it's like, well, you don't have any control over that. Should I be proud to be black? Yes, of course. It's one of those deals. It's like, say something positive about Donald Trump. It won't. Say something positive about Joe Biden. It will. Yeah. Yeah. That's like, say something positive about Donald Trump. It won't. Say something positive about Joe Biden.

It will. Yeah. That's fucked up. Well, that also seems like human controlling. This is something I saw yesterday, I think. Meta is open sourced, a tool they have. And here's an explanation of what it does. So be careful for videos like this soon.

Most AI models only work across one or two modes but our new image bind model works across six text audio images and video 3d thermal and motion data you give it input in one form and it can relate it to any others it works more like our own imagination if you give it a picture of a beach it can find the sound of waves if you give it a picture of a beach, it can find the sound of waves. If you give it a photo of a tiger and the sound of a waterfall, it can give you a video that combines both. This is a step towards AIs that understand the world around them more like we do, which will make them a lot more useful and will open up totally new ways to create things. We're open sourcing Imagebind so everyone in the

world can access and build on top of these state-of-the-art models. I'm excited to see what happens. That guy has a tech guy voice like a strip club DJ has a strip club DJ voice. You know, there's a tech guy voice. I almost seem real, don't I? You know what I mean? Is he imitating Steve Jobs? Because Jobs sort of had that.

More like Zuckerberg. Sounds more like Zuckerberg. That was Zuckerberg. That was Zuckerberg. That's him. That's him. I thought you were going to say that about him. I thought someone was imitating Zuckerberg.

No, no, that was him. Okay. Well, that makes sense. Zuckerberg does have the ultimate tech guy voice. The one that drives me the most nuts is the up voice. Basically, what we're doing here, you know that up speak? Yeah. That's like a tech sort of up speak.

I hate vocal fry. What's that? Oh, come on. Like girls do it all the time. Uncut jams. Yeah, it's like? Oh, come on. Like girls do it all the time. Uncut gems. Yeah, it's like. Uncut gems. Vocal fry.

Yeah. Yeah, how long before you can't trust anything in the news? I don't think you can right now, right? Yeah, right now it's already a little sketchy. Yeah, I mean mean how long how long before we have no idea what's real okay how long before the debates start up or whatever it's like a year yeah like that news cycle is gonna be intense very go. When you see AI, like when you see Zuckerberg's thing right there with AI,

doesn't it seem like the beginning of a movie that like 12 years ago, like, you know, you see scientists working on things. This is so exciting. Cut to present time. Terminator. Fucking Terminator. Yeah. Boom.

Hunting down the last biologics. Mm-hmm. You know? It's weird how all the stuff that we thought was sci-fi, it really is coming true. Yeah. In some ways. It really is. I mean, we're real close away from robot companions. Real close.

Mm-hmm. Like a decade. A decade away from people having real dolls that are their actual girlfriends. They're talking to them and having conversations with them and rubbing their back while they watch sports. Who's going to get married then? You know, if a real doll is, like, indiscernible from a human being and she just wants to fuck all the time, she has a perfect body and she doesn't even eat food. from a human being, and she just wants to fuck all the time.

She has a perfect body, and she doesn't even eat food. How many incels are just going to, like, just get a job so they can pay for their robot? Did you see the scene from Terminator 2 where he explains what Skynet is? It's exactly like what's going on now. Let's see it. He's working on it still, on this part. Ew.

He's trying to get something. He's working on it still in this part. She's trying to get something. Look how they're coding. Miles, you gotta go to Raging Waters, bro. I can't. I'm on a roll. Miles, you've got to go to Raging Waters, bro. Trying to kill the sense in the world. Baby, this is going to blow them all away. It's a neural net processor.

I know, you told me. It's a neural net processor. It thinks and learns like we do. It's superconducting at room temperature. Other computers are just pocket calculators by comparison. Yeah. Why is that so goddamn important, Miles? I really need to know

because sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy here. Knack, knack, knack, knack. It's just close to running life. That's the thing. Imagine a jet airliner with a pilot that never gets tired,

never makes mistakes, never shows up to work with a hangover. Meet the pilot. Why did we get married, Miles? Why did we have these children? You don't need us. Your heart and your mind are in here but it doesn't love you like we do what kind of inner button was that yeah we'll come i thought he explained more of it honestly right there but

that's what his explanation and the guys are making open AI to do right now drive Teslas for us and yeah look

happy family about to fucking kill humanity as we know it yeah they all die in that right after it right yeah

the scene right before is Sarah Sarah Connor's going like, I need to find this fucking guy. Tell me everything about him. That's right. He gets shot.

Those fucking movies, it's so odd when you go back and think of what they thought the future was going to be like then. Nobody predicts it right. Nobody gets it right. And that's why I wonder what we're getting wrong. When we're thinking about what the future's going to, I have a feeling it's gonna be we're so off base. I have a feeling whatever they invent, whatever starts getting implemented, whether it's Neuralink

or something that changes the interface between humans and the web and technology, I think it's gonna be bigger than all the things we've ever experienced. I think our future, we're gonna look back back and we're the last of the Mohicans because we're people that grew up without the internet and then had the internet when we were adults and then we're seeing kids grow up with the internet and then there's going to be the next thing and we're going to be the people that went through the whole thing together where everybody from the future is just going to be some weird cyborg yeah that's where comedy's going to die that's where fun's going to die no more entertainment everyone's just locked into the matrix

and drones are going around shooting people drones are telling you go back to your place there's a new disease out there's a new variant you need your booster I kind of think there's going to be that version's going to happen but some place I don't know pick a city is going to stay the same they'll be adverse to everything Pflugerville

no computers are here it's all manual almost like Amish country there's nothing left but you can go there or you can go to whatever San Francisco becomes if it's all taken over by robots and shit. For a while. But there's no old west towns now anymore.

After a while, they'll die off. No more wagons. No more horseback. Amish are even using cell phones. That's true. They're using cell phones? We looked that up. That's right. They're doing mollying, having r up. That's right. We were talking about it. They're doing molly and having raves.

Yeah. What is that called? Rumble still skin? Rumble still skin. Rump Sprigga. They get off. They go rumple still skin it out. They do drugs and fuck.

They're only allowed to do it once though, right? Like one day and then they go back to being an Amish. Yeah, but they can last as long as they want. they can only do it once you can't go back and forth right you can't rumple still skin like when you're 30 why would you ever go back they miss the community you know that's what it is like you miss what you know if you're used to

living in a place where everybody makes their own houses and people fucking pass butter around, you want to be in that group. You don't think you can do it? Fuck no. I grew up in Ohio, so we already kind of had to live with them. Their worst penalty is getting shunned by the community. It's like, what? Yeah. Get the fuck out of here.

It's like, okay, all right. Yeah, but I bet they have very little crime because of it. Everybody chips in, but they're also a cult. You know? I mean, it's kind of a cult. Yeah. What is their... What are they basing it on?

There's different groups, I believe. I don't know which ones. There's different kinds of Amish? There's Amish, and then there's, like, Mennonites, and there's... Mennonites aren't the same thing? I don't think so. I think they're more... Mennonites are more strict or less strict. One of the two. I'd love to buy a lot of Mennonites,'t the same thing? I don't think so. I think Mennonites are more strict or less strict.

One of the two. I lived by a lot of Mennonites, and they were hardcore. Yeah? They stunk. They stunk? They don't bathe? No, they don't smell like they do. They don't wear deodorant or anything like that.

Maybe the ones you were around. Yeah. It was a special, stinky Mennonite. Yeah. They would stink up the zoo. Isn't it weird that there's like rules that you have?

Like, no electricity. No this, no that. Yeah. Gotta keep it pure. So stupid. Meanwhile,

COVID didn't affect them at all. Those people just fucking skated right through it. Well, first of all, they're out in the sun all the time. They're working all the time.

I would imagine if you're a person of that lifestyle, you'd probably be pretty healthy. Because they're not eating processed foods. Right? Right. They grow their own foods. Well, you're super healthy. Yeah. Probably mountains hurt.

They probably don't have vitamins or anything. Oh, because they don't take supplements, man? Potatoes and corn every day. I couldn't imagine living like that, but I bet if you did live like that, it would be normal. I think people just adapt. The difference between Amish and Mennonites. Well, they share a common Anabaptist heritage. Amish and Mennonites have been separate groups within the Anabaptist family since 1693.

Amish and Mennonites. This motherfucker's been rolling for that long. Amish and Mennonites migrated separately to North America but often settled in the same areas. Both migrated in several ways. First in the 1700s and the 1800s. Those fucking people that came down here in the 1700s, how gangster were they? I mean, you're just taking a chance.

Taking a chance of coming to America and trying to figure it out in the woods. There's nothing here yet. I mean, what was here? Boston, Philadelphia. Like, what was here in the 1700s? There's a few places. Couple. At the end in the 1700s? There's a few places. A couple.

At the end of the 1700s, I was thinking, watching that Ben Franklin documentary, he left and went to live in London for a while. He really did? Yeah. Thomas Jefferson left and lived in France for a while. Really?

Yeah. Fucking traitors. When we were in London, I went by Ben Franklin's house. He was living there for a long time. Really? He left his family in Pennsylvania and was like, see ya. I gotta go

make America better. Be an advocate. I don't know if he was officially like a... Probably had a girlfriend. I think that's what it was. I think that's what they said. He had another family. Boyfriend? What are you talking about? Back then you'd have to send a note that you wrote with a feather.

Get it on a boat to get to them. How long would it take you to write a letter back then? Jesus Christ. Have you tried to use cursive lately? No. I don't know how. You don't? You don't remember?

No. I can write my name. Yeah. But if I had to write a sentence in cursive, it's going to be very confusing. Right. I tried to remember how to do Z the other day. I couldn't. Oh, how do you do Z?

Yeah. Fucking Billy Madison. What? Rudo. What's that? Billy Madison. She makes him get up in front of the class and write Rizzo on the board in cursive. Oh, really?

Yeah. He's like, make it your favorite baseball player. He just does these little scribbles. They're like, what does that say, Billy? Is it Ruro or something? I don't remember how to do Zs. Yeah. Cursive is on its way out. Are they still teaching that at school?

No, they stopped. They stopped teaching. So, yeah, that's a good way that we could use in the future to contact or just talk to us. Well, cursive AI doesn't pick up. So if you want to, like, write a note and put it on Instagram and get by their filters. There's a Z. What? Which one's a Z?

Oh, right here. He doesn't know how to do it. It does just tribbles. What is a real Z, though? What's a Z? Yeah. Z cursive. I could draw.

Let me see if it just shows. I'll just type it in. Cursive Z. Z cursive. I have zero idea. I'm trying to explain what it looks like. Oh. Oh.

Oh, look what I did. Look what I did. Wow. Wow. I would have Look what I did. Wow. Wow. I would have never got that right. Let me see it again. Let me see it again. I would have never got that right.

There's another one that's weird, too. I think I stopped writing in cursive the moment I got out of high school, though. Yeah. My mom still writes me cursive letters like once a month and sends them to me I'm like mom I can't look it's take it's take me an hour I still haven't forgiven you for the edibles you gave me you ever slip your mom an edible no I think she'd handle it she would she would call the she would go to the hospital definitely yeah? Yeah, yeah.

She would panic and think it's like a religious thing. Oh, like Jesus is coming to her? Yeah. I gave my dad a long time ago when he came and visited me in L.A. He drank some of my wine, weed wine. Oh, no. Yeah, and he got fucked up. Did he know it was weed wine? No. He just thought it was regular wine? Right. He still doesn got he got fucked up he knows weed wine no he just thought

it was regular wine he still doesn't know well he probably knows now but what happened uh he got very happy and laughy and he was having a great time like it did exactly what it should have ever tell him no why didn't you tell him because he drank a lot of it and i didn't know or i did know i can't remember it seems like you would enjoy it yeah i didn't know or I did know or I can't remember. It seems like he would enjoy it. Yeah. I don't know. I'm still weird about that.

Some old folks, they start finding edibles and they go, hey. Yeah, they love it. It's pretty nice. Yeah. Ric Flair's into edibles. Yeah. We got his Woo Chews over there. Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah.

He's got his own edible brand. Woo Chews. But edibles are nice. You don't have to worry about smoking. It's easy on the body. Look your dad up. If he wants them, he can have them. Send him a crate of that wine.

Have some Delta 9, Dad. Weed wine is a weird combination. They make weed soda, weed gummy bears gummy bears weed bubble gum weed breath spray yeah weed wine remember back in the day when like weed was not really legal yet in la they had like the first edibles like i remember people would always give you like the weed wine and all these weird inventions. There was a lot of weird stuff. It was during the medical days when you used to have to have a medical card. That doctor you had that sold us the zinc or something like that.

We were spraying zinc in our mouth or some metal. That doctor was very odd. You remember he had that thing that attached to your ear that gets you to quit smoking? I'm like, bitch, that is not going to work. You bought it for me. And I'm like thinking, Joe, don't buy this. What is it? It gives you like an electrical pulse to your ear.

Yeah, it's just electrocuted. I'm like, try it, bro. Maybe this will do it for you. That was so ridiculous. He showed me a book on how Tesla energy was used to destroy the Twin Towers. And I'm like, what? What are you saying? did you see the planes hit them like it was just it was the most crazy conversation i'm like well this is the type of

person that gives out medical prescriptions for weed like you're not getting like the best minds yeah you know those guys were they were taking chances like some of those guys got arrested went to jail for it like in the early early days of medical marijuana, it was, it was weird because you would get arrested. And then, um, when they would bring you to court, you weren't allowed to say medical marijuana because medical marijuana was only a state thing in federal government's language. It was just marijuana. So literally you couldn't say you had a license to grow it for medical patients like your trial You are not allowed to tell the truth Yeah, it was like the federal government doesn't recognize state's laws when it comes to schedule one substances

So all these people that are making money off a weed It's like you're dancing this little weird line because federally it's super illegal and yet states i think now it's like 19 states or more have made it legal it's like at what point in time are they going to let that go how many people been in jail for marijuana i mean it's a it is a wild thing that we have so many drugs that are available that can fuck you up and they're easy to get prescriptions for. And marijuana is still illegal federally. Weren't they going to change it? Wasn't it Biden or somebody? Yeah.

They're full of shit. They don't change shit, dude. They don't change shit. They don't change shit like that. Those are those change shit. They don't change shit like that. Those are those culture war subjects that they like to like bounce back and forth.

They like the left to get upset. Give us our marijuana and the right wants their guns and then the right doesn't want you to have an abortion and the left wants

to have abortions and these culture war issues never get cleaned up because there's no benefit in cleaning them up. There's no benefit in just settling them and resolving them. Even Roe v. Wade. I thought we had that worked out and then all of a sudden they take that. It's a culture war issue.

They want people to be upset. They took away our abortion and then the the left is less likely to cross sides and join over to the right even though they believe with them fiscally and economically, that right to abortion is a big one. I think there was some really wild number, like with women's right to choose, like whether that's a deal breaker for Democratic Americans. It's like some high 60s, high 60%. See if that's true. How would you Google that?

What is it? Democrat right to choose? Yeah. Do you believe in it? Yeah. What Democrat right to choose deal breaker? 64%. Something like that.

It's fucked up that they're outlawing like plan B though. That's the shit that bugs me. You know, think what you want about abortion, but plan B, come on. Yeah. Like right after someone nuts in you. Yeah.

You can't take a pill and like stop it in its tracks. Right. The other day I nutted in my girl and there was so much lotion. I couldn't tell if I came or not. Have you ever had that where you're like, I think I came. What the fuck are you doing? What does your bedroom look like? I just imagine plastic sheets and lotion everywhere.

Put down the tarp, hon. Like, what are you doing? Well, we got... You can't tell if you came or not. Well, I got this I got this CBD sex lube

and it just like numbs you so hard. Oh my God. It numbs you? Yeah, it's numb and it's warm. It's pretty cool. Why do you want your dick numb? I don't. Like, we just got it. Yeah, it's numb and it's warm. It's pretty cool. Why do you want your dick numb?

I don't. We just got it. We tried it and it was pretty good. Don't they do make desensitizing cream so people can last longer? Yeah, I think it's CBD version of that. Oh, my God. It's great, but sometimes it's a little much. I don't know what's going on down there sometimes. I don't know.

Isn't there like a fucking dose that you use? I just keep on squirting. I squirt like 10 times on her butt. Jesus. Shut the fuck up. What's wrong with you? What is the fucking floor of your bedroom look like? Just oil puddles?

Ew. No one's ever said that ever. You ever come and you don't even know if you came because there's so much lotion? Like, what? The fuck is wrong? You're doing it wrong. Everything.

I've always liked a lot of lotion. Like, I would always get, like, a second bed and, you know, one to sleep in and one to fuck up, like, at a hotel room. And we would just get, like, baby oil, like, a whole thing of baby oil and just, like, become, like, aliens in, like, a little. It's great. It's slimy. It's slimy tits everywhere. That's what you like? I like it.

You like things getting all slimy? Yeah, it's cool. It feels good. Oh my God, I'm just imagining you. Don't knock it. Just fucking pouring. Yeah. I imagine you coming back from CVS with a plastic bag filled with baby oils.

100%. I've done it multiple times. That was mostly more of a high school thing. We used to just love doing that. Imagine those maids. They get ahold of those sheets. What the fuck happened here? Jeez.

Oh, they know. I'm sure a lot of people do that. I guess. That much baby oil? I don't think that happens very often. Oh, everybody. Cocoa butter. Oh, everybody.

Yeah, a bunch of cocoa butter. Everybody's got baby oil all over the place. I bet it. I bet it's more known. Brian goes to Home Depot, brings back fucking construction hefty bags, lays them over the bed. Heck, yeah. Slip and slide.

Slip and slide. That's what you're into Just covering yourself up Oh yeah It feels good When you Cause like tits Imagine huge tits and butts Like that's just

It's like Slippery Yeah it's fun You don't like that sensation What's wrong with you guys I mean it's nothing bad I just have never committed to it so far Oh you got to

It's fun Jesus Christ What a weird way for a maid So far. You got to. It's fun. Jesus Christ, Brian. What a weird way for a maid to discover your nighttime activities. Yeah. Walking just baby oil all over your bed. It would suck to be a maid, huh? You're just cleaning up old cum stuff everywhere. Yeah, farts.

People are gross, too. Yeah. If they know they don't have to clean They just live like animals It's not a good job Have you seen the Fucking wave of migrants That's making its way across the southern border Now that title 42

Is about to Expire or pass Or whatever the fuck is happening What's title 42 We should google that just so we get it's about to expire or pass or whatever the fuck is happening. What's title 42? We should Google that just so we get an accurate description of what it is. But the migrants that are making their way across the border, it's crazy. Like just the sheer number is insane. Let's see.

Title 42, end of the coronavirus restrictions and asylums. Restrictions are often referred to as Title 42 because the authority comes from Title 42 of a 1944 public health law that allows curbs on migration in the name of protecting public health. So it's because of the pandemic. So it's because of the pandemic. The end of Title 42's use has raised questions about what will happen with migration at the U.S.-Mexico border. The Biden administration is preparing for an increase in migrants. Okay. So just go to Google what it looks like on the border at the end of Title 42. Mexican border.

But, like, there's some videos that show people making their way across. Making my way across. It's really crazy because just the sheer numbers are insane. But it makes sense. I mean, if I lived in Guatemala and I knew that there was some jobs in America, there's so many people making it cross. It's just happening all day long. And to be fair, like our whole country is going through a problem with people not wanting to work anymore because of COVID.

Like kids are not going back to work. Like McDonald's is closing early because they don't have enough workers. So there is jobs for certain kind of people that I think have opened up since covet right yeah and then there's also criminals yeah that's the problem when you let people in illegally you don't know if they're cartel members you don't know if they're you know terrorists from another country you have no idea like that's the whole reason for legal migration is you want people to be able to have a background check on scumbags and murderers. I mean, just, but the fucking sheer bulk of people that are coming across here.

If you lived in another country, this is the promised land. And it just shows you, even today, as fucked up as we are, it's still a place where so much can happen. You have so much freedom. You can start your own business. You can get things popping. And you don't even have to have an ID to vote. You can vote for whoever lets you in.

You can come over here, fake it. There's places that want illegal immigrants to be able to vote. Weren't they trying to do that in New York City? I think so. We're lucky. Someone or our ancestor took the trip.

It's funny, though, that at a certain point in time, we're like, stop. No more. No more new people. Right. It says it got struck down. Oh, they were trying to do it, but it got struck down? Yeah, they're out of their fucking mind. Illegal aliens voting.

No, the whole idea is you've got to become a citizen. Okay? You've got to be all in on this. You can't be from Saudi Arabia and vote in America. Right. Shut the fuck up. Legalization of oil. What?

No. Meaning people from other countries could get together and then try to pass things that will benefit their country. You have to. I'm sure that's already happening. I'm sure there's spies. There's probably Russian agents working in the White House right now. Probably. We probably have agents working in the White House right now. Probably. We probably have ones over in China.

It's probably like, I bet there's operatives that work in all sorts of different foreign countries that are deep undercover, that are sneaking around. They get busted all the time. I think what it's saying is it's only going to allow them to vote in New York City elections, local ones. When they struck that down? Yeah. going to allow them to vote in New York City elections, local ones. And they struck that down?

Yeah. Just imagine. What you're doing is just like you're playing to the illegals. You're just like saying, look, if I could just get them on my side, like think about the bulk of this. I have so many people. And then the liberals are all going to vote for me anyway. So I just get all these people that shouldn't even be voting. Now I have a new group of people to

harvest vote from if they really wanted voting to be fair they'd make everybody would if like if you 100 couldn't fuck with voting machines you 100 couldn't fuck with like you couldn't rig mail-in ballots you couldn't do any of that. What would be the best way? I would imagine it would be like your face ID. Wouldn't it? Connected to your social security number. Yeah, like you pick up your phone, face ID. If you have an Android, you're fucked.

You can't vote because you're stupid. I heard something recently about that, that someone's doing a project. I have to look into this a little bit more, but it's called the Doppelganger Project. He's doing research that there's something like a thousand people in the world that have facial features that are similar to yours. And I think close enough that they could even unlock your phone. Really? Yeah. Well, that Chinese

Elon Musk, I bet he could unlock Elon's phone. That guy's cool. I saw an interview with that guy. Because a lot of people think he's fake and AI-generated, but he did an interview. And what was he saying? He was just saying, like, I'm a huge fan. That's pretty nice.

I drive a Tesla. They're banging all these hoes. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know about doppelgangers, if that's real. There's the Chinese Elon Musk. Fake Elon Musk angered Chinese fans who wanted to meet the real deal. Oh, what happened there? Oh, that's a fake Elon Musk.

Oh, boy. What did he do? What does it say? He's an entrepreneur hosting an event, and his magazine says that he was expecting Elon Musk to attend, but they never guaranteed his presence. Fake Elon Musk at event. So that's the fake Elon Musk?

That guy? That's not him. That's a really bad one. That's a bad Elon Musk. That's so fake. Ew. Yeah, that doesn't even look a little bit like Elon Musk. But what about the Chinese one?

That's what I thought I was looking at. No. It looks different. That's him I thought I was looking up. No, it looks different. That's him right there. Yeah. Jesus, that's close. It's good. That's pretty goddamn close.

I think Elon said that he wants to meet him. It's probably his son. Imagine? Yeah. If he went over there on a jaunt at one point in time. Could be. Could be. Could be. Yeah.

That was a deep fake. It's not a deep fake. No, that's what I'm saying. It's not a deep fake. Yeah, people think he's a deep fake. That's what was cool. Come on, money. No, he doesn't sound like it.

No. Hi, everyone. I'm Yi Long Ma. Money. He wants money. Oh. He's going to use the money to light his cigar Wow he does you think he not unlock you on phone huh I don't think he could but you know I think it's but it has there been proven cases of someone being able to unlock someone's phone I think so I mean, my girlfriend saw a photo of another girl the other day and thought it was her.

Your girlfriend's Asian. I know. That's like a stereotype, buddy. I know, but she couldn't tell. She couldn't tell. And she's like, I think that's me. And I'm like, no, it's not. Whitney Cummings says that.

There's like two people that look very similar. The girl at the mothership. Yeah, well, there's one girl that came to one of her shows. They got pictures together. It's really creepy. Here's some of these doppelganger guys. These are people I don't think they even live in the same country. Those are two dudes, two women.

They have the same face, not the same hair. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Similar. Not the same hair. Whoa. Pretty close, man. Those two look pretty similar. Wow. The fact they're not related,

I go to 100%, oh, you're her sister. Well, there's only so many variables with facial features, right? There's probably another Ari Shafir out there, believe it or not. There's probably tons of them. How about that cat that looks like Ari? Oh, that's the best one. I found a new one the other day.

Those are great. Can't Michael Lair's son unlock his phone? He looks so much like him. I don't know. I think I heard that. I don't think they pay for that phone anymore. I just Googled it. This says that people can do it.

It's even if, it could be unlocked even if you have an evil sibling who looks close enough to you. Really? They don't have to be a doppelganger. And is this with Apple phones or with Android phones? This is with iPhones. Interesting. I don't know if it's up with iPhone. I mean, sometimes my phone's like on the, like the table over there and it unlocks. I'm like, how did you even see me from over here?

Right. You know? It's weird how good it works unlocks. I'm like, how did you even see me from over here? Right. It's weird how good it works. Yeah. Like, bam, it's open right there. Yeah, here's even on Apple's website, my sister can unlock my phone and we are not twins. Whoa. So maybe test it. I don't know.

Interesting. Interesting. Huh. I know that Android has an unlock unlock but it's not nearly as secure because it's not like a 3d image of your face right so you probably unlock with a photo it's definitely not as good as face ID but don't you think like fingerprints the best yeah well the face ID I think I never even think about it you know right because it just works that's true yeah I think a finger

fingerprint is the I mean they have I'm looking at my computer right now. There's a camera looking at me. They could put Face ID on it, but they have the fingerprint scanner on it. Yeah. It's weird. Maybe there's another sensor in there they can't put in here, I guess, but I don't know what does it. It is annoying, though, that with iPhones, it takes up so much of your screen real estate. That island and face ID.

It's like that little strip is kind of whack. They're just waiting for the under camera technology to catch up. So in like two years, iPhone will get rid of it. And what is supposed to be going on with this Ultra? Like if they're going to have an Ultra phone, what's the purpose of that? It's just a

bigger one, I think. That's it? Yeah, I think that's it. I thought it had like better specs because it showed that it has better better screen right the screen has less bezel right I think that's what they're just doing what they're doing right now like the big one that always has a little bit better features a little bit so they make people buy the most expensive shit possible with the ultra watch just a physical mock-up yeah so they could you know make cases and shit i don't think that they've leaked any uh yeah uses useful use cases or anything but if you think about people and like their desire to always have the latest greatest most expensive shit they're

all gonna get the ultra that's probably gonna be the number one selling phone people i can't believe a 2500 phone is selling so well especially if they put one of those, like the M1 or M2, I guess it's an M2 chip that allows you to do Final Cut or Logic. If this is what unlocks the new headset, the virtual, like the AR headset, then 100% that's going to be like... Is the virtual AR headset a guarantee that's definitely happening? Supposedly next month. Maybe it's more, but yeah.

Next month? Yeah, they have that W, whatever, that thing they do once a year where Apple releases new stuff. And supposedly it's going to be announced next month. And it's going to have like an external battery pack, which is kind of weird. You know, you have to wear something around you on your belt or something. There's not much really known about it. This is a picture they've shown that's the best picture. I guess everyone's agreeing is this is what it's going to look like.

I got to piss. We'll be right back do you do the the t injection yourself yeah i talked to that guy about it the other day he said you need to get online and you know you just get it sent to you oh you getting your injections at a doctor studio yeah i go once a week that's ridiculous yeah but i get tested once a week you know he's making sure everything's cool and stuff that's good and i have to get that's good. And I have to bleed. They make me bleed. They bleed? Yeah, because there's a level in your blood that you have to get below.

Do you have a lot of blood? Do you have extra blood? It has something to do with... I don't know what it's called. It's like blood cells. You have too much white blood cells or one of the cells that happens from tea. There's a video that's gone around a lot. I think it's bloodletting, right, where they pop something in your forehead

and let the blood squirt out. Have you seen that? And I don't know why people do it. Because they're dumb? Maybe, but do you know what I'm talking about? No. No? Bloodletting from your forehead?

Yeah. Okay. I only know of it. I thought it was something we talked about here. Bloodletting from your forehead That sounds like leeches That sounds like some old school shit Bloodletting? You know what is it called? Trepanning?

Where they drill holes in the heads To relieve pressure Because they thought spirits would get in there That's bullshit It might not be called bloodletting But this is the video I'm talking about Why are they doing this? Right. That's bullshit. It might not be called bloodletting, but this is the video I'm talking about. Hold on.

Why are they doing this? See, he makes blood. Blood drain from forehead in bloodletting procedure. That is what it's called. For what reason? I guess it's in China is where they're doing this one. Oh, but that's like fucking voodoo shit. Why would that be good to cut your forehead? Just squirts out.

God, why are we watching this I'm not showing it online boy that's a lot of blood and it's one of those things they have it blurred out where the blood hits the pan why you can handle it squirting out of his head but you can't handle it hitting the pan

yeah it's stupid it's okay alright I think that's probably just stupid if I had to guess Yeah, it's stupid. Okay. All right. I think that's probably just stupid. If I had to guess. I don't know. Something about recycling your blood, though, right?

Isn't there? That's not recycling. It's doing it into a urinal. What is he doing? He's peeing blood out of his head. It's quite common used to treat pain, swelling, or other disorders related to blood congestions. Yeah. It's like congestions. Yeah. It's like the LA traffic in your veins. Blood congestion?

So like bloodletting is actually a real medical procedure? I think in the case we just watched, it might have been to reduce eye swelling. Hmm. Yeah, I don't know. I do know that ever since I started doing tea, I haven't had hemorrhoid, bloody hemorrhoid anymore. Congratulations. It went away for a year.

I haven't had one. And I think that was my period from all the estrogen. Don't you think? Like, I think I was really having a period. It wasn't a hemorrhoid the whole time. Don't you think that some of it comes from sitting on the toilet, reading your phone? Yeah, but I haven't stopped doing that.

Maybe the testosterone has made your butthole muscles more robust. Muscles, yeah, maybe. So they can handle. I thought it was weird, though. It seems weird to talk about it. No, because I always joke that was my man period, and I think it really was. I think it really was. It could be.

That's weird. Yeah, Ari went through that for most of his life. I think it really was. Could be. That's weird. Yeah, Ari went through that for most of his life. He still goes through it. Okay, why? I thought the same thing. What is that about? Maybe his estrogen's high. Maybe.

It makes sense. It does. He freaks out sometimes. Yeah, his butt's been bleeding since he was in high school. Yeah. I wonder if he gets his butt checked, though. Because, I mean, he's got a lot of stuff going on. Yeah, it can't be good.

He's not going to the doctor. No, you don't think so? No. I don't think so. He's always in fucking Asia. Yeah. Backpacking. Weird.

Going on his walkabouts. Not for me. Yeah. Yeah, with a bloody butt Bloody butt Walking through Asia I was thinking of that Your mom's house He was on where he explained

Like he didn't want to poop Because it was like A waste of time What? When he was younger? I don't even think of that young So he just held his poop in? Yeah he just like

Forced himself to be constipated Like once a week or something Oh my god I love pooping Yeah And then I'll leave out The rest I'm gonna leave out The rest of the details Of the story that are worse just like force himself to be constipated like once a week or something. Oh my God. I love pooping. Yeah. And then I'll leave out the rest. How can you do that? I'm going to leave out the rest of the details

of the story that are worse. Oh, Jesus Christ. But yeah. It's just, it gets reified. How do you, how can one even hold your poop in? I don't get it. How long can you hold it in? Like if you have to take a shit, you have to go.

Right. How are you doing it for days? It's like forcing constipation. That doesn't even make sense. It seems impossible. It also seems really deadly. We can talk about it next time he's here, but if I remember to bring it up. Why are we even talking about it now?

Came over here to promote Red Band's club. Not talking about Ari's butt. How many nights a week you guys open right now we're open every night we have a lot of shows but we also have a lot of open mics

and we have a lot of karaoke we've been doing karaoke so it's fun watching all the comics get wasted at the end of the night and just get drunk and do karaoke

and I embarrassedly did it the other day what'd you say so that's the problem my karaoke song has always been Creep Radiohead, but now Chappelle says that that's his, and now I feel weird.

I don't want to do it anymore. What do you mean it's his? Because he's known for that now. He sings it. I know. It makes me feel weird now singing it. Really? So I tried.

But it's Radiohead. I know, I know. It's just weird. I don't know. Okay, how about another one? So I tried doing Lump by Presidents of the United States of America, and I fucked up because I forgot how fast that song is. Lump sat alone in a boggy marsh, totally emotionless.

So I was like halfway through, I was like, why did I pick this song? Did you just bail? No, I changed my voice to a high-pitched voice for some reason, like a woman's voice. Because it'll move faster? Yeah. And so I started singing like, she's up, she's up, she's in my head. It was the most embarrassing thing ever.

But karaoke's like that, right? Do you have, do you, you just do Kiss songs or AC? I've only done it a couple of times. The one time we did a Kiss song at the Alice in No Name morning show. Yeah. Sarah in No Name. Yeah. Yeah.

Alice in the Morning. Yeah, what was the song? Love Gun. Love Gun. Dun, dun. Yeah. There's something funny about singing bad. Yeah.

But I don't do it very often. I'm not interested. Right. It's way better when you're drunk. It's the only time to do it. Yeah. If you're singing karaoke and you're sober, you're a fucking psychopath. You know?

You're really into it. You're serious. Yeah, that's true, man. What's wrong with you? God. Especially if it's like a romantic song. There's no one even there. Who are you singing to?

You're doing islands in the stream, both voices. There's something weird about people singing karaoke if no one's paying attention. Uh-huh. You know? Yeah. There's like three people at the bar. This one person's by themselves, all serious, singing. Did it start in the 90s?

Can you whisper? Karaoke? I don't remember it. I mean, I was too young. Well, I guess it had to start with technology, right? Because you had to be able to see the scroll. Right. I think it started in an Asian country probably, right?

Karaoke? Sounds Japanese. But Dimples, the karaoke place in Burbank, was the first one that moved to the United States and brought karaoke to the United States. Really? Yeah. And then they tore it down and made it a Whole Foods. Yeah. Karaoke kind of fell out of favor and then came back into favor like with nostalgia right because there was a time period where karaoke bars were dead yeah and

now they came back yeah and now you get like private rooms so you could just like you and like five people have like like a private room with your own karaoke so you don't have to be embarrassing around everyone else. Imagine that's what you want to do with your time. Imagine. Imagine that's your favorite thing to do. I can't wait. We're going to karaoke tonight.

It's my favorite thing. Yeah. There was a karaoke video game in 1985 What? Yeah Really? Yeah I was just looking at the history It got

The first machine was made in 1971 Oh wow It got popularized I think Like through the 70s And then 1983 or 86 A Filipino man Patented the karaoke machine What do you think is embarrassing

What do you think about things that we do today is going to be super embarrassing in the future? Oh, selfies and all that stuff. Why selfies, though? I don't know. Like taking, I don't know. They're going to do that forever. You think?

They're never going to stop taking pictures of themselves. It's just hilarious watching people try to find the right angle. Right. Podcasts? We might look back at podcasts like... Really? I don't know. This wouldn't be embarrassing.

This was enjoyed by millions of people. Why would that be embarrassing? I'm trying to think outside the box what would be... Carrying around a phone is probably going to be. Yeah, we're gonna probably think that was stupid Oh my god, they just carried her on the phone. They don't type with their fingers You know the implant how often do you do text to type or talk to type not as much as I should I do it All the time really it's so good They're so good. They're so accurate. I do it in my car

Yeah, I do it in my car too. But I do it a lot just like it's so much quicker than typing it. And as long as you're not saying something weird where it doesn't know what the fuck you're saying, like some weird name of something or something like that. My problem is I do it for notes when I think of a joke and I want to write it down real quick. And then I won't proofread it. And then there's like some weird words in it and it totally makes me not remember what the joke's about like wait what you know sometimes it fucks up too much well apparently google's version of that is better yeah google's voice to type is better

have you used it yeah i've used google's you still can't you still have a galaxy two two galaxies or two uh i have the flip the fold yeah the flip one the small. I have the flip. The fold? Yeah. The flip one, the small. Oh, you have the flip one. And then I have the S23 Ultra. Which one do you fuck with the most? The S23 Ultra.

Yeah, that's a good phone. It's great. Yeah. Yeah. Cameras are fucking incredible. It's so amazing that you could film a movie off a phone now. Like, legitimately film a movie. If you do it right, you could watch it on television a phone now like legitimately film a movie if you do it

right like you could watch it on television it'd be a great movie like that's that's completely possible now if they do put final cut pro on your phone how many movies are going to be made where it's shot and edited on an iphone yeah that's what they're showing the the apple trailer for the final cut pro where they're showing them use the iPad and Film it then edit it and with the Apple pencil like you can now draw on the film So you make effects like if you want to have like a pow thing you could like draw the pow and it will animate the Effect that it's like taking Final Cut Pro to another level where you can draw on it now and do effects using your Apple pencil Oh, so it actually makes it better than having a computer. Kind of, yeah.

Kind of. Unless you have a computer attached to a tablet, like a Wacom or something. Right, right. What's next? It's the neural interface, right? That's next. Yeah, absolutely. That's going to be the big game changer.

That's going to be weird, man, because we're all going to want to do it because the people that do it are going to have a big advantage. They's going to be weird, man, because we're all going to want to do it because the people that do it are going to have a big advantage. They're going to be just completely connected to technology. And then who's going to be in control of that? What?

I just remembered to show you something. Who's going to be in control of it? I think the wearables, you know, like the AR, VR glasses that Apple's going to do, but not having a phone anymore and just having glasses on is definitely going to be a thing. Think about how locked in people are to their social media, you know, to their Twitter. Like when people get banned from Twitter back in the day, they were devastated. That was like an exile from the community.

Imagine something like that, but that's your brain. Like you're locked into this community, a rigid community, where you have to think and behave in a certain way, or you get exiled. This is what I oot about. Oh, yes. Did you see this? Yeah, I did see this. So play it. New gameplay proves Unrecord is real.

Is this the name of the game, Unrecord? I think the game is called Unrecord, correct. So this is a guy clearing a room. He's got a pistol in front of him. It looks insanely real. Yeah, it's like body cam footage angle is how it's supposed to be designed. That's what it looks like. So, yeah, this trailer came out

and it freaked a lot of people out they're like this is too real yeah you guys fucked up this is crazy give me some volume i mean everything from the brass you can tell it's fake right there that smoke from the gun. But yeah, this... This is crossing a line of realism that is like, what are we doing? Is this a game or is this a training simulator? And they blur his face. What a fun little thing they do. This is his body cam footage.

This is incredible, man. They did recently, though, make a new version of a trailer to show people that this is a game. This is made in Unreal. This isn't footage from a real cop or someone clearing a building. So this is the Unreal 4 engine? So this is 5.

What they've been doing since we've been talking about it a few times now, it's been getting updated probably monthly with new features and new additions and new add-ons that are making the unreal 5 even better like exponentially better all the time it's a free tool so like i don't know how much time someone put in this probably a lot but it could have in theory been made by this is wild man yeah because a lot of this is just assets like i want a tire image. I want a keg image. Yeah, almost like how Beeple was explaining to us.

He just goes in and finds assets online and makes stuff. You can start doing this. Listen, I would have a real problem with this game. I'm having a real problem just watching it. Yeah, and I don't know if it's going to be in VR, which I would imagine it is. Oh, yeah, it will be. This kind of gameplay, you can easily make vr why is the person's face blurred

because it's supposed to be a body cam footage and you're supposed to be watching you know uh the the the look of like we're watching this in court you know you know what i mean it's like how it did look it's a little not as clear oh so it's like updated in the 4k and it's wow which means that like yeah the trees the sky the the building textures why do you think the metaverse didn't take off why was that a colossal failure uh well it's because it's i mean look you know zuckerberg's version of the metaverse is that none of no one has legs like everyone looks like nintendo wii characters and stuff and it's goofy where you look at like something like vr chat which i use we you could be anything you want you could have a scan of you

and make it look super realistic so when you're talking to somebody you look like you're talking to a real person but but like that see that's actually a woman that used her phone and scanned her image into an avatar and if that's the stuff that's cool and unfortunately Zuckerberg and all those guys have been pushing this like ridiculous Nintendo Wii now this wasn't to be just so this was sucker this is meta's right right, right, right, right. But that's the Metaverse that, you know, and he's not selling this Metaverse, right?

You know, he's selling this silly version of it. So what's the silly version is the fact you have to headset. Well, could you just type in, like, you know, the... Oculus Worlds, I think. Yeah, whatever. This is... That's the stuff that what he's showing is more closer to what I'm using right now, and that's, you know, VRChat. This isr chat this is see like look all these goofy characters like see you have no

legs you look like a little cart it looks like for kids you know and what you were just watching with that uh other image that is coming sooner you know that's the kind of stuff that's already out there and and uh that i use you know i'm i could be a realistic person i could be a cartoon character i could be anything i want i have legs this is just like i don't know for kids it's very kids is this is not the only thing that was available right like this is just to like hang out and talk to people i guess right but this is what zuckerberg like the metaverse this is his like where he's spending billions of dollars thinking this kind of thing's going to take off and you know so here's something that i asked someone over a year ago that i didn't understand because we hadn't seen the ai stuff um

there's spaces like this right i'll try to pull it back up on the screen when this guy is like floating around in here this is not how they did it i'll be honest with you but this is how it was explaining me when you're when you're in that world you could it shows like a missile silo or something you could be like nope don't make that a missile silo i want to be on a beach you just say that and it'll go okay poop yeah you're on a beach it's like no it's too cartoony make it more realistic right and it'll be like more realistic beach right and that's how some of the metaverse stuff is supposed to be it's not here yet though and i don't know how long it's going to take to get here but isn't a barrier to entry just the putting on goggles that's a lot of people don't want to do that right well it's also makes people sick uh and also you know a lot of problems

and that's mostly based off uh uh frame rate uh so like if you're you're using something that is poorly made, like software, like an app, and you put it on and the frame rate's shit, then you're just going to get sick immediately. Is it too low a frame rate? Yeah, too low a frame rate, you start getting sick. So it just confuses you? Yeah, it just makes you feel uneasy.

Like when you're spinning on a carnival ride or something and your stomach starts getting low. That makes sense where if your mind, if your eyeballs are seeing something that's blurry and fucked your mind might say oh my god you're sick you should throw up exactly you ate something bad you're dying right yeah yeah and here's something i'll show you it's tough there's not a lot of content and facebook may be fucking up by not showing this stuff more so canon made this dual fish eye lens i'm pretty sure it's the only one that's out there right now that allows you to shoot content to be watched in these headsets.

And when it's done right, which hasn't been done right very much, but when it is done right, it's fucking amazing. It is wild how cool it looks. But there's not a lot to look at right now, and you have to put the headset on to see it. But things in front of you look like you should just reach out and touch them, and they're in high-definition quality. It seems like every iteration of these things,

we're always waiting for the one that's like, that's it. Like, if you go back to when VR was first talked about, it was like the 80s and 90s. Remember, they thought that that was going to be the thing. You put on the goggles, you're in another world. But technology wasn't really there. And then all of a thing. You put on the goggles, you're in another world. But technology wasn't really there. And then all of a sudden with Oculus and with the HTC Vive, okay,

we're getting real close. Now we're getting real close. But it's still like not quite. That's what they think Apple is going to do with their headset. That it's going to be that cool, supposedly. This is VR in the 90s. They probably thought, this is the beginning. We're getting ready and this is going to be the future. And even to use this, you had to be that cool, supposedly. This is VR in the 90s. I remember doing this. This is the beginning.

We're getting ready, and this is going to be the future. And even to use this, you had to be in a big pod. Like those pods we almost want to use now, but the pod was just to track you. Like if you went out of the pod, it wasn't reading you. Anything inside the pod, it read. And you had to have all sorts of cables and wires and things connected to you. Still, though.

Where did they have this at? They had it at COSI. Okay. So this is in the 90s. And here we are, though. Where did they have this at? They had it at Kosai. Okay. So this is in the 90s. And here we are, 2023. It's still not quite. You would have thought that would have taken off. I forgot about that.

That's what the headset looks like. Which they still have these things in arcades all over the place. The graphics got a little better. One of the things they think they're going to be able to do is recreate psychedelic experiences. They think they're going to be able to make a VR psychedelic experience so you could trip balls without having to do any drugs

and it'll have the same effect on your mind. I do a pretty good version of it all the time. The thing I play all the time, I have a character that you can do DMT, acid, mushrooms, and stuff like that, and you take it and you start seeing a little bit of trails on your hands, and then the more

you start seeing more trails, like, it's pretty good. And you can do DMT where there's, like, fucking, like, Buddhas coming out of the ground that look like lasers and shit. Really? Yeah. Sometimes we'll just listen to music get high and just do that for hours. And what are you using? What is this?

It looks like unreal, but someone's made a shrimp trip. Yeah. Oh, wow. This just goes on for a few minutes. Yeah. There's just different visuals and stuff. How many grams did you say that was? Yeah. See, oh, I love that lighting effect where it's like clouds, shadows. Maybe this is a real video and they fucked with it. Yeah. I think this is a real dog. shadows maybe this is a real video then they with it yeah i think this is a real dog yeah yeah this is a real video

the dog knows you're tripping that's cool so what are you using i i'm using vr chat which is like the good version of what zuckerberg's trying to do and vr chat is connected how? Like using a PC? It's free. You could actually use an Oculus 4. You're not going to get that great of graphics, but I'm using like a really high-end PC and a Valve Index headset. And VRChat's free,

and it's kind of like, you know, you just download it, you make your character or whatever, and then you go, hey, I want to go to Disneyland, or hey, I want to go on a beach, you know, and you just type in beach, and it's like Google, and they'll show you all the hey, I want to go to Disneyland. Or, hey, I want to go on a beach. And you just type in beach. And it's like Google.

And they'll show you all the worlds you can go to. Then you go there, meet up with your friends, do acid on the beach or whatever. And the graphics are really high end? Oh, yeah. Each level is made by a different person. So there's good versions of it and bad versions of it, realistic versions of it. So this is like the real cutting edge yeah this is what this is what you know this is way more popular times a lot you know than zuckerberg's stuff really and this is how many people are using this uh it's one of the largest uh user base of a multiplayer game on Steam.

There is another thing which I don't, like, you're hung up on that headset. You don't, maybe today you do, but you're not going to have to use the headset. You'll be able to play with me and Brian if we have our headsets on just through a browser like this. Oh, you can do that right now. Yeah, you don't have to put the headset on. Oh, so you can play it like a video game.

Yeah, or a chat room. Now, what is the best version of graphics? Like these things are all made by different people, right? Yeah, yeah. So what's the best version? So if I were to play this right now with you, I have bookmarked all these worlds. So I have the best world to go to if you want to be in a beach, best world if you want to be on the moon. Look at this bar.

This kind of has good lighting and stuff, but it you know, it almost looks like a nice realistic bar. And look at that character. See, like, that's somebody that scanned himself, it looks like. Yeah, obviously. Yeah. How weird. And so, now you look back at what we were just watching with Zuckerberg's, you know, metaverse, and it's so silly compared to this, you know, like, graphic-wise. It's like you can be anything you want.

Yeah, but isn't the metaverse stuff, the Zuckerberg stuff, capable of doing things like this? Yeah. That's why it's not working. Like, look at that. That looks like a real ice bin for popsicles, you know, like at a convenience store. You know, that's not the graphics you're seeing on Zuckerberg. Zuckerberg's very cartoony, very kids kind of feeling. But is that for all of them or just different software applications?

Well, like you could play this on the headset, you know, but the metaverse is the Facebook, like they're trying to get you into that metaverse world, and that's what's failing. But it's other stuff in the metaverse, like with those, the Oculus that they have, they have these virtual tours. Yeah, yeah, but that's not in the metaverse, like with the Oculus that they have. They have these virtual tours. Yeah, yeah, but that's not like the metaverse.

That's like you can play. The headset's just like a computer pretty much. So you can download anything on it. So the metaverse is like a walled garden. Metaverse is like what we were just watching via chat, where it's kind of like a chat. That's the real metaverse. But what Zuckerberg was trying to do, where it's kind of like a chat. That's the real metaverse. But what Zuckerberg was trying to do, you're saying, is like a walled garden. Like they were making it very specific to these apps.

They were going to have these kind of cartoony things. Right. The metaverse is doing it through all these characters and stuff like that. I don't know. It's so hard to explain because they made it confusing as fuck. But if you can't explain it, nobody can explain it. Right. That's a lot of the problem. It's VR is taking off.

The metaverse is just not taking off because Facebook wants you to live inside their world. And it's a world that they create, though. Right. So that's what I mean by a wall of cards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's all their stuff. And it's also very stylistic. I kind of feel like I've been having the problem.

If I haven't come across anything yet that, like, Brian and I couldn't explain or show you in less than three minutes, then they haven't fucking figured it out yet. Yeah, exactly. Right. We're not there yet. So, like, I'm like, I don't know. It seems close close but it seemed close for four years so yeah that's what i'm saying like with every iteration of the virtual

reality world it's like this is going to be it but it's not i don't know how much the pandemic would have slowed down production i feel like it did fuck up some stuff while they were all working in offices doing stuff messing with these headsets because they have shown some uh behind like uh there's a video of zuckerberg, I think, on 60 Minutes. They were showing someone behind the scenes prototype headsets. They have a thing that sticks out from the eye area. It's ultrasonic sound waves that are pointed at your mouth. And the lady that they had try it on, maybe it was a guy,

they said they could feel raindrops on their mouth. Jesus. And that was recreated with sound waves. Yeah. Physically touching you. But that's not anything they have commercially available. It's just like an in-house demo. And that sounds fucking cool too.

It seems like it's the neural link. It seems like it's some sort of neural interface. When that hits, then all this shit is going to make sense. And that's even scarier because you don't know what you're seeing is real or not. You know, that's a sci-fi movie shit. Yeah, you're going to walk right off the top of a building. Exactly. Yeah.

You get hacked somehow or trolled and, like, you go into traffic, you know. Yeah. That's scary as fuck. Well, I mean, the future is always going to be scary when it comes to things like this. Just technology in general. There's going to be some mistakes. They also announced new Black Mirror episodes coming that are going to be scary when it comes to things like this. Just technology in general. There's going to be some mistakes. They also announced new Black Mirror episodes coming that are going to probably scare us all some more. Can't wait.

I haven't watched all the ones that exist. Same. I can't get anybody to watch them with me. I have to watch them by myself. You come over, Joe. Come over. Sorry. I got to trek out to the woods.

Yeah. Are you going to move closer, do you think? I think I might get, like, a studio apartment downtown or something. Yeah. Just because there's just, why not? Just have, like, a nice little studio and friends in town, they could use it, you know. But then I could also, like, hey, it's 2 in the morning. Might as well just stay here.

I have to be here tomorrow, you know. Yeah, that's, a lot of people love that. Like Tony loves living down there. Yeah. He loves it. I don't know if I want to live there all the time though. Some people love that urban sort of experience. Yeah, not me.

You've always been a suburb guy. Me too. Yeah. My neighborhood is so quiet. Everyone's working. Yeah. At 9 o'clock, it's pitch black. Like it's quiet and pitch black. I could just go out there and hear nothing except animals you know yeah i like that me too

i think living in the city is probably fun but you know tony's like he just wants to do stand up every day just wants to just yeah roll out of his place go to starbucks get a coffee yeah some people are like that i'm you know i'm more i like relaxation and uh every time i go to starbucks get a coffee yeah some people are like that i'm you know i'm more i like relaxation and uh every time i go to new york city i always imagine could i live here i don't think i would like it i could never live there some people that's the only thing they love they love it more than anything they love like ari he loves the energy he loves being around all the people i i also don't like living in buildings like like you you know like we live in like a tall building and stuff i don't like that feeling you know burning inferno the time when we were in the hotel fire oh yeah yeah fuck that shit fuck that shit that's a scary moment yeah when people

are walking too slow down the stairs and you're just ready to go over the top of these motherfuckers dude i was panicking yeah Yeah, you should be. Remember we went down to like the second floor and we saw all that smoke and it was just the fire extinguisher or something? Yeah. That was weird. Yeah, that's what it was. Some jackasses got drunk and set off a fire extinguisher and they had to get everybody

out of the entire fucking building. And Joey Diaz, I took the elevator, dog. I don't care. Like a doctor. I would probably take an elevator, too. Probably doesn't seem like the worst idea as long as the power doesn't go out. Right. You know?

It seems like that's some kind of myth, that they don't want everyone to pile into the elevator or something. I don't know. You get stuck there if you lose power or something. Yeah, you don't want to get stuck. You don't want to get stuck in the elevator if it loses power. That makes the most sense. Yeah's and then the building's on fire you can't get out oh jesus yeah maybe that's it did you see the video of the elevator the counterweight up no you know instead of going down like a lot of elevators you're afraid of

yeah it went up at a high speed. Really? Show the video. It's fucked up. I hate elevators. Even the elevator at the mothership I refuse to go in it. It's very slow. Yeah, I don't, even if it's

any kind of elevator. The elevator at the mothership is so slow it seems broken. Right. Have you got that shit checked? We did. Got it totally fixed.

It's all totally replaced. Wow. This one? This is eight years old. I don't know if this is. I think it is. It was an old video. Yeah, it is. It is old video it is it just went

viral again yeah it's on it look it's just fucking going out of control because it goes up 30 floors in 15 seconds that would freak me the fuck out show it what was the crazy part that you see it crash no flying up they're not going to show the crash part here i don't know why you can't handle it there's another one maybe skip ahead boom oh jesus so it gets all the way to the top, and he gets... Oh, shit, he got wrecked. Fuck.

Is that guy alive? I don't know. This has been going around. There's a lot of people standing near trains. I've been seeing they're, like, walking next to a train. They just get jacked by the train. Like, they're walking too close to it. For social media posts, they're saying.

Look how the door opened, but the elevator's still moving. Fuck, bro. No. I wouldn't even know what to do. I would lay on the ground what can you do boom when you hit the top that dude must be dead so I've never seen that happen before that scared the shit out of me after I saw elevators are fucking terrifying or escalators yeah fall through and get chewed up by the gears I never thought about that but in that one video came out of the woman falling through.

Oh, that's why regulations are important, kids. You need regulators. When it comes to that kind of shit, you need inspectors. All right, Brian Redband, let's wrap this bitch up. Tell everybody the club name. Sunset Strip Comedy Club. It's on 6th Street next door to Joe's Club and it's Sunset Strip ATX.

We have the Roast Battle now. We have a bunch of shows. I bring in my secret show there starting the 18th of this month. We have a lot of people from out of town. This Bitch and Friends. Yep,

Ken Congdon tonight, Sarah Wineshank. Nice. They were just on the podcast yesterday. Oh, yeah. Holtzman's going to be there Saturday. Nice. Casey Rockett and David Lucas. Nice.ank. Nice. They were just on the podcast yesterday. Oh, yeah. Holtzman's going to be there Saturday. Nice. Casey Rockett and David Lucas.

Nice. Beautiful. Yeah. It's awesome. It's awesome. Good luck with that. Thanks, buddy. Let everybody know.

What's the website? Sunsetstripatx.com. Dot com. Okay. And Red Band, right? On everything? Yeah, Red Band. On Twitter, Instagram?

Do you still use Facebook? Are you about politics? No, I don't really use Facebook too much. Once in a great while, I'll just use it to check in on them. Are you fucking with any of the other ones? Like, what's your profile on Truth Social? I tried to get Truth, but their servers were down. Really?

Yeah, and I never got it. Blue Sky is what I'm trying to get an invitation code. Hey, Zuck? That's the Dorsey one. Oh, no, no. Yeah, yeah. Hey, Dorsey is what I'm trying to get an invitation code. Hey, Zuck? That's the Dorsey one. Oh, no, no. Yeah, yeah. Hey, Dorsey. Jack Dorsey.

Give me that invitation code. What are they doing with Blue Sky? Blue Sky is Twitter. Have you seen the screenshots of it? It looks just like Twitter. Does it? And I'm down. I'm down.

Yeah, I'm down. I like Jack. What is he doing differently with it? I don't think there's anything different. I think he pretty much just... It's the way the back end works. Remember how once someone was just sitting here explaining that you could take all of your shit with you?

I forget who it may be on mine. Adam Curry? No, Bill Ottman was talking about the whole back end stuff that was way over my head. Something like that. They have the ability to take all your content with you if you want to leave. Interesting. I'm trying to find a picture of it, but it's not showing on there. Yeah, it's supposedly.

Some sort of decentralized, uncensored version of it. Yeah, see, it looks exactly like it. Oh, my God, it's Twitter. Yeah. It even has a repost thing. Uh-huh. The graphics are the same. And I think Jack changed his tune on Elon, and I think that's why he's doing this.

Really? Yeah. Yeah, a lot of people soured on Elon. He announced yesterday that Twitter's DMs are going to turn encrypted starting today or something. Interesting. So no one, not even I, could see it if there's a gun to my head. Interesting. And that's something about phone calls.

Or he's a friend. It's a trap! Yeah. I don't think he's a friend. I think he's an friend. It's a trap. Yeah. I don't think he's a friend. I think he's an alien. Yep. If anything. All right.

That's it. Let's wrap it up. SunSaysTripATX.com. Yep. Red Band on social media. Yep. Check out Secret Show. It's moving there next Thursday, the 18th.

Beautiful. Every Thursday. Bye, everybody.