The Joe Rogan Experience - #1989 - Andrew Dice Clay

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

Andrew Dice Clay is a stand-up comic, actor, and author.  www.andrewdiceclay.com

the Joe Rogan experience are these your podcast classes you got special ones what's his name Jamie that's your name Jamie you do understand I'm doing the Joe podcast classes? You got special ones? What's his name? Jamie. That's your name, Jamie. You do understand I'm doing the Joe Rogan experience, right?

He's doing the Joe Rogan experience. So why wouldn't I Yeah, you gotta swap classes. Ooh, I like those. We go with the chrome. I like it. You see what happens? I like it.

I like the chrome. I like it. I like how you have a case. Those are serious shades. This is the experience. This is your... You've now taken over everything, in my opinion. And I'm proud of you for that.

Thank you. Well, I'm proud to be your friend. Well, I'm proud to be yours. Now, if you notice... You know, I was in your documentary, and everything I said, I 100% believe is true. And I appreciate it. And we were actually just talking about you last night, and I was telling these guys, I go, Dice is doing the only real alternative comedy that's out there.

Those videos that you're doing with fans, you were, first of all, you were one of the originators of what i would call alternative comedy this is this is what you did you did the day the laughter died in the height of your success you were selling out arenas all over the fucking place and you decided to do ginger fields when no one was in there with no material and just fuck around. And it's amazing. Listen, listen. Before we even go there. All right.

I got a little beef with you. It's not going to get violent. Okay. None of that. What's the beef? Because even years ago when you first came to L.A. And trust me, you were alternative. Alternative?

I don't mean alternative in a negative way. No, no, you were doing it your own way. Oh, okay. The way you saw fit. The way I did it, the way Kennison did it, that's how you did it. So I come walking into the original room. I come in through the back. I always do the same thing.

I go into the kitchen, club soda, red straw, $5 tip, into the original room because I'm hearing something, somebody I don't know, okay? And I look in there, and it's you, full force. I mean, screaming at the crowd. And what made it even better? full force, I mean, screaming at the crowd. And what made it even better, number one, you were doing time,

and you were just going ballistic. I thought you were going to start breaking the stool. I mean, you just, you know, you were also just finding your legs. We're talking about 25, maybe even closer to 30 years ago when you first came out there and you're screaming your head off and you get in a heckle fight with a guy. Now, I will admit that the heckle fights I've had end in the club. Okay? It just ends. Not you. okay it just ends not you this went outside where there's i don't know 20 people 20 something people between the two years and i'm going he's gonna kill this guy for what the guy yelled out during

his set but you were right because the guy didn't stop and he was one of those well that no that guy was threatening no no he was threatening me and he said he was gonna throw a glass and he was one of those. No, that guy was threatening me. No, he was threatening me. He was threatening me and he said he was going to throw a glass at me. And he was really drunk. And you would just try. I don't know if he was that drunk. I think he was just a piece of shit. Yeah. The thing about that guy, I know that story.

That guy had done that to a bunch of other comedians before me and I got to see and watch it. And they didn't know how to handle it. He was just being a piece of shit. No, I know that. And look, I've had... There's a difference between a heckler and someone who purposely tries to interrupt the set for their own joy and fuck with people. And doesn't care.

And then he threatened me. And so I was like, okay. We'll see what happens. Let's go outside. Yeah, yeah. But that's what I loved. You know? You know, I even loved one time, you know, I'm out back and I know how close you are

with Diaz and he gets in a little argument with someone. And I'm watching this and I'm like, oh, please, why am I even here? You know, I wasn't even going to come out tonight. And it's getting heated and he has a bad temper. So he takes one of the big glasses and he just breaks it so it's a jagged edge and i'm like joey what what are you doing put the glass down it's like i see that he's seeing red yeah put the glass down and he's looking at me and he's like yeah you're right he's not worth it i'm worth it this is a comedy club what goes on here you know rogan's chasing people

outside to continue to fight you're ready to cut some guys i know the ds story too though the ds guy that that guy was a piece of too but the other guy was a biker he was like this this tough guy that liked to with joey and joey was like i will cut you and he was willing to but this is this is jo Joey like fresh out of jail Joey. This is Joey like 30 years ago Joey. It's a different Joey. Yeah, and this is Dice just wanting to do the pop thing. Well, also me back then, it was just so weird to be around you.

Because I've told the story before, but when I was 19 years old, me and my girlfriend were sitting in my fucking car in front of my house I'll never forget it and we're listening to dice the cassette and we're howling laughing she was crying she was just going ah she just kept like slapping her arms and and we I just remember thinking this before I even thought about doing an open mic I just kept thinking how the fuck is someone so funny? I remember listening to that cassette. It was so good.

It was so fun. It's so silly. And just me as a kid, as a 19-year-old kid trying to find my way in life, it's just like. So just for me being around, when I came to the store, I used to be like, holy shit, that's Tice Clay. It was weird listen first off i appreciate the things you you say and that you have said when i'm not here but i mean everything am i allowed to tell you how proud i am of you you can tell me anything you want no because i have watched you see people forget your beginning you know i remember the stand-up. I remember you on a hit sitcom.

I remember. It wasn't really a hit. Well, I remember. It was a hit kind of after. Yeah, that was a hit. No, but I remember what I do remember. And you've brought this up on the show where I was like, I had like a few weeks off. I would do half a million people and then come home for a few weeks.

That was my touring. You know, we'll get into all that. We could show a clip. I think I sent the clip of me just standing on stage at the Garden, not even talking. And so what happened is I'm back, because I would book 20 cities at a clip. And honestly honestly we all

know this is before any kind of social media this is 35 years ago yes the ad was the size of the pad which if you notice says Rogan I bought a pad to make notes I appreciate it you know I how they're written big, too. Don't forget the back page. That's a whole pad that I'll never use again. What you didn't notice, I'm not in leather. Are you going vegan on me? No, this is daytime dice.

Oh, daytime dice. Why would I wear a show leather during the day? I understand. So I gave you the motorcycle. I gave you the gloves, but we went cotton. I like it. All out. Casual.

New York. Comfortable. Casual. Comfortable. So back then, I see you hanging outside. This is the first time we talk, really. And I come over to you. You're just in the back parking lot,

the same area where Diaz was going to cut someone's throat weeks earlier. All right. And you're just hanging out, you know. And I said, how you doing? I introduced myself and you were really respectful, really nice. You still are.

And I said, what are you doing here? And you said, what do you mean? I'm a comic. I'm going to do a set. I go, no. What are you doing here at the store for $25? I go, you're on, in my opinion, a hit show, a hit sitcom. I go, you could be out there making tens of thousands of dollars on the road,

and I'm thinking, who's his manager? Like I wanted to call the manager, go, why do you have your client at the store when he's on a hit show when in three days he could go make himself 15, 20 grand in a minute? And you were looking at me going, really? Yeah, that's what it's about. Well, this is what I tell everybody this. I remember where we were standing.

You came up to me like, you should do the road. Right outside the back door. Why are you doing the road? I was like, why aren't I doing the road? Yeah, I should probably do the road. I mean, a lot of it was like sitcoms are a lot of work, especially in the early days. There was like 16-hour days, and you're exhausted.

And I just was was happy to just still be doing stand-up so i'd go to the store i didn't have any friends i just moved there so i'd go to the store after i did my work all day and i could do a set that's that's sort of why i did it you know but but it was just so great the way you looked at me like really like i could be making more than 25 but i knew i be making money. And we all know what the store's about. It's not about money. The store's that college for comics that we all. The hangout. It's just the greatest place.

It's the greatest place. Well, now there's two great places. Now we've got the mothership. We basically did the store in Texas. But you telling me that changed my life. It did because then I started touring. I listened to you. That's why you're sitting right here right now.

That's why when your show elevated to this level, you were getting texting from me. Because I was there before you in a different way. You know, but

let me tell you something. When you're the first guy, I'm the first guy to do what i did yes you know i mean i always looked up to eddie murphy i think he's the absolute greatest from stand-up to to the films he's done and that's sort of the career i wanted i figured i would just go from doing you know uh millions of people on the road to just movie stardom. But I got the backlash. Yeah, you were the first to get the backlash. Yeah, I was the first.

Ban from MTV. Ban from MTV? Ban from MTV for jokes. You're bringing up stuff I want to bring up. All right, so with MTV, this is what you'll love. This is the part you don't know. Well, didn't they approve that set anyway? No, they didn't approve anything.

They didn't know? No, see... You know, this is the thing. You know, I always had an expression. Nobody fucks with Dice. Dice does the fucking. In the past... The present... The future, and the day,

Dice ultimately does the fucking. That's it. In the multiverse. So I come for the rehearsal, and my whole job was to hit my mark, and ladies and gentlemen, I remember it. The Last Puritan. Share. And I make that move with my hand.

Right. Share. Okay. So I'm getting ready. And they already had a couple comics on that just tanked. You know, Paul Reiser, and I think he's great. Tough crowds. Paul Reiser, and I think he's great, but... Tough crowds.

You don't come out on the MTV Awards at the Universal Amphitheater and talk about the Hats Sinatra Award. I'm looking at my friend going, look at the crowd. It's like he's not even in the room. You know, my friend says to me, he goes, well, you could go out there and you could either be a teardrop or you could be a tidal wave. You know you. Okay.

So I don't really want to go nuts. I'm trying to do the right thing. I got the biggest manager ever, Sandy Gallen, who had everybody from Whoopi to Stallone to Dolly Parton. I mean, I'm sure you know the name Sandy Gallen. Okay. So biggest manager in Hollywood. So I'm trying to do the right thing. And so now, I don't know, a minute before I go out,

Arsenio's the host. Here comes Dick Clark, who, wow, it's Dick Clark. You know, you grow up watching this man. And he comes over just to hear him call me Dice was hilarious. And he goes, look, Dice, if you got a stretch, Arsenio will come over to you and you'll play around. And I go, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What do you mean stretch?

Stretch what? You know, what am I stretching, my dick? What dick what are you talking about no I'm not even kidding he goes no you know because Cher might not be ready I go no no no we didn't work anything out me and Arsenio and I had no problem with Arsenio but you know this is a standalone spot you know and he goes well this is the way things go I go don't fucking tell me how things go okay you're not my boss you know and he goes well this is the way things go i go don't fucking tell me how things go okay you're not my boss you know and as i'm getting angry at him which in my mind i'm going are you really getting angry at dick clark right they start introducing me well i come out there now i'm angry now everybody's gonna pay now everybody will disciplined. And I don't know how I did the set, but I went into the poems.

Now, you've got to understand, this is not HBO or Showtime. This is MTV. This is everybody gets this. It's free, you know. I go into the poems, and what was the poem? Oh, that got me banned i go georgie porgy putting in pie jerked off in his girlfriend's eye when her eye was dry and shut georgie fucked that one-eyed slut oh and the crowd's going fucking crazy so i figured go into my fat girl stuff and that ended with you don't know where the tits begin and the belly ends it's like one big glop of shit right and i go now i go because they gave

me a signal ladies and gentlemen the last puritan share and she comes out singing if i could turn back time which is what everybody was thinking in the room, if we could turn back time about eight minutes. But in the meantime, while I'm doing the act, Dick Clark goes to charge me, and Arsenio jumps on his back and tackles him. Dick Clark's trying to stop your set? Dick Clark was going to jump.

He went out of his fucking mind. His hair got messy. I'll put it to you that way. So now I come off the stage. Eddie, right? Jamie. Listen, Jamie. Young Jamie.

Young Jamie. So now they're taking me into the press tents. Not one question was asked. And it was all the press in the world. Sandy Gallen calls me at home. He goes, I was praying that what I was watching on TV was only coming through my television. Then I get a call, you know, from a club owner. Remember Rascals and West Orange?

Yes, sure. The owner, Mark Magnum. Yeah. Greatest guy. So Kennison was there who I always say he was having a rivalry with me. I was happy for him when his career took off. I was thrilled for him. He had no problem with me because I was on the show Crime Story at the time.

And he was doing, I don't know, 4,000 or 5,000 seats a night. He was the guy before I took off. When my career took off, it went straight to arenas. I was doing 80,000 to 100,000 people a week. And he just couldn't handle it for whatever reason. But he goes, so Kenison's watching this. Going, that's it. He's done.

He's finished. In the meantime, the reality was I went from doing one arena show, let's say at the Spectrum in Philly, to two arena shows. Or three arena shows where Bill Burr saw me at, um, in Boston at whatever arena I did there at one show, it went to three shows. It just got bigger and bigger and bigger. Nothing was hurting. And so the next day there's this big meeting at MTV and Rick Rubin was there, you know, and, you know, my, my people that I worked with, Sandy, all these. But it was the presidents that banning me for life, you know, which is hilarious.

I'm not even a singer, you know. Yeah, I'm like, so I'm banned. What do I give a shit? Look at the numbers, you know. But Dick Clark, this is why Dick Clark became Dick Clark, because the guy that was trying to tackle and beat me to a pulp for what I was doing is standing there. His hair is now fixed the next day. And he says to a room full of executives when they're banning me for life, he goes, are you sure you want to do that? Because Rick Rubin told me. He goes, this guy is the biggest thing in the world right now, and you're banning him for life?

It was just one of the crazy moments of the backlash of my career. And like I said, this is 1990. Yeah. You know, this is years before the arena comedy today, which you do and Bill does. Yeah. I didn't even know I was setting that off. Right. I mean, it was a goal of mine because, honestly, if I was just being honest, I never gave a fuck about stand-up.

It's not why I do it. I never gave a fuck about stand-up. It's not why I do it. You know, I came into stand-up because I just figured instead of going to an acting school once a week, you know, why not get on a stage and develop your own method of acting? You know, and I could be on a stage every single night and I'd be at the Comedy Store and I'd see all these comics there and they would stand

see that was great about you. You didn't stand there like a stick figure. You were all over the stage. You were performing. But when I came to the comedy store, even guys, Leno, great comics. Seinfeld, all great comics. But they'd stand there like they were in assembly class. And after five, six minutes, I'd get bored and walk out of the room.

And when I would go back to Brooklyn my mother who was the one who had the look and the personality it's where I get that you know that balls bigger than you know brass ball thing and I would tell her about the comics and I go about the only one that would move is Richard Lewis you know because his whole act was about it's all a nightmare and he would pace and he would just make me laugh my ass off. And I would tell her about all these comics, but I come from music. I come from drumming, singing, dancing,

and my mother would say to me, well, what are you going to do? I go, you know what, Ma, I'll just become the Elvis of comedy. I go, that's who I love. That's my confidence. That was my true belief, my true statement. know what, I'll just become the Elvis of comedy. I go, that's who I love. You know, that that's my confidence. That was my true belief, my true statement. I said, these guys, they're all OK. But I go, my if you know that comics would always just be opening acts for singers, you know, and I didn't put much into that. You know, I didn't care about that. So if I'm going to do this, if I'm going to work on this at the same time I'm working on acting chops, just become the biggest the world has ever seen.

You know, that's how I looked at it. It was that simple of a thought to me. You know, and that's how it all began. Do you think that you made that happen with your mind? Do you ever wonder about that? mind. Do you ever wonder about that? Like if you think about all the success you've had and even like the downsides, do you ever wonder like how much of it you actually create with your mind? I believe that, and you have to use a realistic thought with anything you want to do in life. You can't walk around saying, I'm going to become a neurosurgeon. Right.

You know. Do you know, just by a chance, do you know Dr. Rock Politano? No, I don't. He's my toe and heel guy in New York. He said he gave you the book, Street Smart. He might have. Yeah, he's great. I've been to foot doctors for eight years now. He's fixing my feet. I might have met him and forgot. Yeah, but so he said he I've been to foot doctors for eight years now. He's fixing my feet.

I might have met him and forgot. Yeah, but so he said he gave you this book. Okay. But anyway, yeah, I'm at doctors all the time. We'll get into that. What's wrong with your foot? But I don't know. I didn't feel my toes for about eight years.

Oh. Yeah. Nerve blockage? No. See, he really did the number, like checking out my feet from every angle. And he goes, you don't have. See, this is what I do like about you. You have a thirst for knowledge and your guest. You have everything from maniacs like me to scientists, doctors.

I love that about you. You thirst for knowledge. But just the fact, you know, about nerve damage in the feet is impressive to doctors. I love that about you. You thirst for knowledge. But just the fact you know about nerve damage in the feet is impressive to me. So but it wasn't the nerve damage. And he explained what it was under my toes. And now he goes, your toes have been inflamed for eight years. He goes, that's the problem. He goes, this other idiot you went to that's telling you to stretch your toes did it work so uh politano and i love that he's from brooklyn he's from benson hearst everybody in the office is from brooklyn and they're in new york so that's why there was even a conversation because i was there twice last week and i said yeah i'm going to do uh joe rugan and he goes i gave him my book street smart because he also wrote a book on Joe DiMaggio.

He lived with him for 10 years. Oh, wow. He does sports. You know, that's what he's known for. So this guy's really helping me. And, like, you know, it's funny. I'm in bed with my sugar plum that you met outside. And, you know, I should be thinking about having action.

And I'm going, look, I could wiggle my toes. Look at that. You know, but she gets it because she's gone through a lot with me since we've been together. And that's just one of the problems. But, yeah, I love, you know, your thirst for knowledge. And I'm not looking to get away from the day to laugh. I'll do something special with that.

But remember I said about a little beef with you? You had a beef with me? Yeah. What did I do wrong? Vincent. Jamie. Jamie. Jamie. Vincent fits you, though, if you think about it.

I'm from Brooklyn. Jamie. What's up? All right. All right. So before I'm getting dressed today, and I can't even figure out, do I give them daytime dyes? Do I give them nighttime dyes?

Do I do a Brooklyn sweatshirt? All the clothes i brought for this i like what you did you know it's good it works it's the right perfect it's perfect he nailed it she's going do you want to wear the adc she's very involved i understand you spoke to her you see how she is she's a lovely woman she's got a corporate very smart i'm crazy about her more than congratulations it's the love of my life I'll say that on the air I believe you're kidding and um I mean it's it's actually the first girl I got her during the pandemical I got her you know at the airport and um I'll get into that later but the point is it's the

only girl since I'm 17 that I've ever lived with we haven't had an argument in nearly four years. And that has not been my life, as you know. Yeah. So the point I was making, I brought you up and I said, you know, I'm going to have to do this podcast right. I got to tell Joe my feelings about the thing we were talking about last night. And I don't want him mad because I've always said the one person I've told this to so many comics I go the one person you never want to fuck with and get angry is Rogan that includes me you know I go you can fuck with any comic. They're all insecure.

They get scared if they see a fly. I go, don't fuck with Rogan because you're another guy that does the fucking. And she goes, well, are you going to tell him this? I go, you know what? I owe it to myself because if I don't tell him this, then I'm not the man I say I am. You know? tell him this then i'm not the man i say i am you know

the lion isn't the king it's the tiger yes tigers up lions do you understand what you've done to me yeah they're bigger no but you don't get it my whole life i've based off the lion being the king of the jungle i have a gold lion with diamonds in it i have a mat do you know why they're the king of the jungle i saw it all explained well i'll tell you why because the tiger doesn't live there no but the point is i see this whole thing with the tiger kicking the shit mike i have i have a production company named brave lion lions are amazing it's been my no but he's not the king anymore he's a jerk off animal with a good head dude that's all the lion is to me they have a much better relationship though with the other lions. The lion is the king. You know why? The king doesn't necessarily have to be the baddest motherfucker.

The king just has to be a real, like an alpha dominant male of the pride. But with cats, like tigers are more solitary. They have a totally different kind of relationship. But I would have named a brave tiger. Yeah, but you don't want to be a tiger. You want to be a lion. Lions are more admirable. Well, my thing was with the lion, when the lion gets backed against the wall, his claws grow.

And that's why he could beat the shit out of everybody. Like, when he feels cornered, like, he could take down a bear because of the claws, right? No. No. Well, they're just really good predators. And they might not be able to take down a bear. Bears are pretty fucking huge and ferocious and very invulnerable. Their body is very thick. I saw that and I'm like, are you kidding me here?

Yeah. Tigers would destroy lions. Because your case is very strong. The thing is, though, lions have a terrible existence in the end because the male lions, they gang up on them and kill them. Yeah, and I heard it's the chick that kicks everybody's ass. Well, the chicks do all the hunting. Female lions do all the hunting. So basically the guy sits around and he reads the newspaper like he's worthless.

All the male does is protect his children from other males and protect the females from being bred by other males because that's the whole game. The whole game is who controls the breeding, and then the moment they ostracize the male, they take the alpha and they force him out. Either they kill him or they gravely injure him. They kill all the babies, all of his babies, all his boys. All right.

So it's a rough neighborhood. So I don't have to change the name. No, no, no. Lions are amazing. They're more complicated. So you're saying lion stills the king? Yeah. Lions are amazing. So lion is the king. They're more complicated. So you're saying lion still is the king? Yeah. Lions are the king.

What tigers are is just this ultra beautiful killing machine. That's what they are. They're a different thing. They don't have like the same nobility. When a lion's sitting there over his pride and the females are all out hunting, that's a wild, that's an amazing creature. Yeah, that's how I looked at it. And then I see the thing with the tiger.

Wow. And, you know, for two days now, she's going, are you really going to talk about this? You know, are you going to bring up the points? Yeah. There's a balance to all of it. The pyramid thing? Pyramids? Yeah.

Oh, okay. Yeah. She goes, you really going to bring that up? And she goes, you know how you are. You're not that academic. And I go, I got to admit, and you even probably know this, you're never going to find two Dice fans that are arguing over what college you think Dice went to.

You're never going to find those fans. One of them might say something like, well, I heard he lived near a college. Yeah. You know what I mean? But, you know, with the pyramid thing, why North? Just on that. What about the pyramid? Why North?

Why North? What's that one? No, North. North? You know how they point north? North, south, east, and west. North. No, but there's a reason like the north or something?

Well, the pyramid is the way it's set on the earth. It points directly north, south, east, and west apparently. Find out what the way the pyramid is aligned with the Earth. There's also the height of the pyramid. Yeah. There's, like, a lot of mathematics. But this is all, like, Randall Carlson stuff. Like, with the eucalyptus and the world.

Yeah, the eucalyptus, yeah. You know, with the width and everything. It's also the three pyramids aligned with these certain stars in the sky and the Orion Belt. There's a lot of complicated stuff with the pyramids. Yeah, because you really delve into this stuff now delve is not an easy word i'll just tell you that vincent you know delve is not an easy word it's hard to use and that's how i learned this you know i figured no but okay the geyser pyramid oriented to the face of the four cardinal directions true north south east, east, and west.

Their entrances are all on the north side, and the temple of the pyramids are on the east side. So somehow or another, they aligned it to true north, south, east, and west. The 2,300,000 stones, the Great Pyramid of Giza, they don't know how they moved them there. They don't know how they put them there. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So we really don't even know. I've been obsessed with that since I was a boy. And are you thinking alien?

I think more likely there was a very advanced civilization and they got wiped out by some natural disaster. I think where we are right now, I think another civilization before us was maybe more evolved than us or more advanced than us, just in a different way. And their way was these immense stone structures with a lot of geological— Yeah, because there was nothing around. They had to bring them from somewhere. Well, they brought them from— The stone. They know the quarries where they brought them from.

Some of them were 500 miles away. But how perfectly— Insane. Perfect. Not just insane how smooth and cut they were but supposedly those people didn't even have steel supposedly they were working with copper tools and also the the methods they use there was some sort of diamond saws because there's there's cuts in some of them that indicate a very high rpm drill that they used there There's all these corings where it seems like the stone's been cored

by these super sophisticated machinery that we don't understand today. We don't know what they used. We don't know where they got it. We don't know where it is now. We don't know what happened. I think Randall Carlson's explanation and Graham Hancock's explanations are the best. I think Randall Carlson's explanation and Graham Hancock's explanations are the best and those what they talk about is that there was a

verified 100% impact on Earth somewhere 11,800 years ago and not just here not just like in North America, but all over Europe they find nano diamonds and they find Evidence of iridium which is very common in space and very rare on Earth. So they think that civilization got wiped out. So that's what I think the pyramids are. I think the pyramids are the best evidence of that insanely advanced civilization that existed 20,000 years ago, maybe even more. I think our timeline is fucked up.

And Graham Hancock says it best. He said that we're a civilization with amnesia. That's what I think. But maybe aliens, too. Yeah, this is why I stick to comedy. Dah! It really is. But that's what I love about you, that, you know, I actually feel like it's your thirst for learning and everything that has brought you to this level where you are today.

for learning and everything that has brought you to this level where you are today. Well, it's definitely helped me a lot because all the people that I wanted to talk to, it's because I wanted to talk to them. It wasn't because a publicist set it up and it looked beneficial or something like that. All these weird scientists and archaeologists and interesting people. Yeah, that's what's amazing about this show. On any given day, it could be a scientist, a doctor, a comedian. You know, that's why you're sitting where you are right now. And I just, you know, I'm just giving you, what's that word?

I'm just giving you kudos. Thank you, sir. Appreciate it. Like I was really, like I was saying, just really proud when I heard you made the deal. Thank you, sir. Appreciate it. And that's why I was texting you at the beginning and even writing things to you like, don't just give away your money. Because I know how it gets when you hit that level. I used to give away just, I mean, bums would get $5,000. I always at that time just carried, I'm not even, and if you're missing a limb, it was $10,000. I'm not even kidding.

carried. I'm not even, and if you're missing a limb, it was 10 grand. I'm not even kidding. And I remember being outside the comedy store and there's a lady, you might've even seen her back then. She had two kids and the, you know, the shopping cart from Ralph's, whatever. And I'm just feeling bad going, this woman doesn't even have a place to live. And I just take out five grand cash. I go, here, go get yourself a place to live. You know, don't you think she was back the next night for another five grand? Was she? Yeah, I couldn't believe it.

But there was one guy I really felt bad for, a guy, and it was Chicago. And this isn't to say how good I am, because people go, what charities are you involved? I give money when I see people that need money. You know, I'm not saying I never gave to a charity, but I'm saying I don't need the bullshit of going, oh, what a good person.

He's involved in this. It's just not who I am. There's a bit of a scam to that. Yeah, I give personally. So I saw a guy in the rain hopping around on one leg and crutches. I gave this guy $10,000. I put it right in his pocket, and I walked away. Another guy chased me down the block in a wheelchair that I put $5,000 in his cup.

He realized what I put in his cup, and he came. I go, just take it, brother. It's good. Just let it be good for you. That's the way I like to do things. But I would get hit up by every comic. I'd get calls for cards. My wife's a little sick.

Can you see? I just need three grand. You know, they'd ask for thousands like it was nothing. So when you took off, I was like, just tell this guy, take care of your family. That's it. You know, I'm not saying never take care of a buddy if he's, you know, in dire straits. But I'm just saying everybody comes out of the woodwork and the level you went to and the press you got about it. You know, I would tell my girlfriend and my sons, I go, this guy's going to be hit from all angles. I want to see what this does to him. And you've kept it together. Incredible. Thank you. You know, and another

thing I'm looking forward to is I'll talk about the comedy store, but the mothership, I hear it's just, I can't wait to show it to you. I can't wait to be there because it's, you know, I know how much you love Mitzi and the store. Didn't you, like, start building it and just redo it because you didn't like how it was going? Well, not really. I started at a different place. I bought a different place, and there was a problem with the building. So I had to get another building. But I just hear from everybody, like, that it is just number one.

Like, it's just the greatest club you could play and that's why i'm excited can can i even say i'm just doing the show like yeah you know i want people to know i'm not even i don't want any money for it i just want it you have been you know you've just been great about me like i, I see all the episodes, like, with Tarantino, with any comic that comes. I could even see the comics get aggravated because they want to talk about their own career. And I'm not going to say names, but I see them, you know. And you're going, no, but when Dice did it,

it was a fucking explosion. He goes, yeah, and you'll say it. You'll go, a lot of the comics today, they do arenas, but if Dice didn't do it, we wouldn't be doing it. And it was an explosion. And that's why I even gave him that clip of

The Garden, which was filmed for a movie. But yeah, coming up at the store with... What was great for us was that you still came around. But, yeah, coming up, you know, at the store with I'm going to. Well, what was great for us was that you still came around. That for us. I loved it. For guys, but for guys like me who were just coming up, who could barely headline on the road, to be hanging out with you, that you would come and hang out with us.

It was amazing. It was like Dice is like a normal guy. But this is, and I can be. Yeah. But this is how smart you are. So I'm filming. This is even before reality became reality. And I never got it out there.

So there's all these new comics at the store. Ari, you know, Bobby Lee, Maz Jabrani, Steve Renzese, all these new comics that would, you know, like I'm holding court, you know, because they can't they can't believe I'm over there. So I've been filming myself since I made it. All right. So I'm filming at the store every night, calling it the show. Like I'd be kicking waitresses out of the kitchen. I changed the lighting in the kitchen. I put like red and blue bulbs. So the lighting wasn't harsh't harsh you know and a waitress could be in there getting an order you know and i go uh you're in my shot you got to leave the kitchen and it's amazing how i just

filmed and filmed and filmed and one night you're looking and you got this puzzled look and I'm like in it, you know, and you come over to me and go, guys, can I just ask you something? What's with the camera? I see you every night filming, like I'm in it, like I'm being my own Tarantino. Right. And I go, no, I film everything. I've always filmed everything. And I don't know, it couldn't have been more than a few weeks. You had a guy with you.

See, that's why you've made it in the business, because you took it in and go, yeah, why shouldn't I film what I'm doing in my life? We definitely decided to film some, but you were doing, like, sketches. Yeah, but that, no, I called it the show. It was an actual reality show, and I used to love, like, even Paulie would come in and go,

dude, what are you filming? I go actual reality show. And I used to love, like, even Paulie would come in and go, dude, what are you filming? I go, the show. He goes, what show, dude? I go, it's my show. It's a reality show with all the guys. Hysterical. I put clips up on my phone all the time. What possesses you to do these videos where you just, like, walk up to people?

Okay. Are we going to show them now to one, two, three? Yeah, let's show some of these videos because they're insane. Okay, but don't show it yet. Don't show it yet. There's a reason. Okay. Okay. It's the same thing that possessed you to do those videos back then.

No, obviously this is different. Okay. Obviously you loved the day of the laugh to die. Yes. Okay. Okay. Now, I can't let you keep this, but I could let you wear it for a little

because you are wearing that. This is the hat I wore, and there's even pictures I sent Traps last night. I can wear it? Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I want you to wear it a little because this is the hat I wore, and he's got pictures of me on stage at Dangerfields.

Oh, nice. Recording it. There we are. Okay? That's a nice hat. You know. Come on. What do you think?

Bro, this hat smells terrible. What are you talking about? It smells like cabbage. No, but I know you like it, so I want you to wear it. Wait a minute. That's one of the hats. Okay. Because there were two hats.

I did three nights. Take a sniff of that hat. For real. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. You don't have to wear it. If you want to take a picture, you'll take a picture.

Okay. That hat is like cabbage. You know. It's awful. So anyway, I do, you know, at the height of doing arenas, because honestly, you know, I almost laughed at it today, because when I would go on sale, we put 20 shows on sale. Let's say it's, we go on sale Friday morning, 10 o'clock. Monday, tickets are gone.

Okay. Half a tickets are gone. Okay? Half a million tickets gone. And then I go do the tours. But what I like, like you said, how I like to hang at the store, even after I did the L.A. Forum. Okay? Now, at the Forum, you had, you know, number one, at the end of my my shows this is the stuff people never really realize unless they've come to a dice concert the last 20 minutes to a half hour is all music you know and i'm not i would do i would do from luther vandross love won't let me wait and you would

think that's what i came there to see because I didn't send the clip of that, but the audience would explode when I would get to the bridge of the song. But I would do the Elvis stuff, you know, but I'd really do it. I think I sent them Elvis. We don't get to hear it? Yeah, but you have one. Oh. That's all right with you. Oh. That's all right, mama. Just any way you do. That's all right. That's all right.

That's all right. That's all right. That's you? That's all right. Of course. That's amazing. Any way you do. That's a pretty fucking good Elvis impression. When your mama, she don't told me.

Mama don't told me too. No, but the thing is. That's a pretty fucking solid impression. No, but that's what I'm saying. See, nobody, when I would be... When they would write me up back then, you know, every journalist was after my ass. They would never write about this stuff.

When I would do... I would do the full-on Grease Lightning. I had an eight-piece band. But when I did, and I would also close with a giant drum solo to the Santana song, Soul Sacrifice. And when I did the forum, besides my band, which were all Brooklyn guys, who's on stage with me doing Elvis and the Soul Sacrifice? Duff McKagan from Guns N' Roses and Slash.

They came to rehearse. We did it. People went berserk. They're in my dressing room with Sly Stallone, with Cher. I think we got, is that a drum one? It's high dramatic. Why do we slide in? Why do we slide in?

I will get to love you. This is a four-barrel war to you. A few of you can come up and go. Play the rock to me. You gotta see the dance. Did you like doing this more than the stand-up? 100%. Really? You can kind of tell. Because I get to entertain. Yeah, watch.

Look at you go. So you were upset that they never brought this stuff up. They would never write it up. You know, they just made like it was an hour of just foul language and that was it. And my father used to get crazy from it because he's the one, he was behind me from day one. You know, and he had, my father went from having a toy store to being a big builder. from having a toy store to being a big builder. Like in Staten Island, he was the first builder to go into Staten Island and build like the newer homes. And we lived there from the age, I was seven till I was 12.

And we basically got chased out of, well, he got chased out of there. You know, he knew he had to leave because he wasn't a gangster. So, and the gangsters were taking over Staten Island. They would build houses across the freeway. There was no zoning laws. So we went to Florida for like six months

and then back to Brooklyn from 13 to 21, and then I was out in L.A. doing the Travolta Act. That's how it started, me doing Travolta, which I gave you pictures, even me holding up how closely we looked the same. It was a whole Travolta, which I gave you pictures, even me holding up how closely we look the same. You know, it was a whole Travolta act. And even the way that started, you know, was, you know, I saw Travolta.

I was always able to do. That's pretty close. Wait, show the other one where I'm greased up. Is there another one? Yeah, I'm doing my first interview. So I'm working for my father on Court Street now. He has a process serving agency. And that's how I would walk around because once I got into it, I became it.

So I'm picking up summonses from attorneys walking in as that guy. And I'm doing Travolta. I'm going, yeah, you have some summonses for royal process serving? You know, I'm doing Vinnie Barber. Listen to this. You're going to die. I swear you're going to crack up, right? And this was when that was on the air.

No, yes, yes. And this is after Fever hit. The way I got, can I take these off? Yeah. So the way I got into it, so since I was in high school, when Travolta hit with Barbarino, I realized I could do like the perfect Barbarino. But what am I going to do with it other than entertaining high school kids? Now he comes out

with fever and he dances. Great. But the night I saw Grease was the night my life changed. And there was no videos back then. You understand? So I'm coming home and I'm like, if I could turn from an impression I'm doing since I'm a kid, seven years old, Jerry Lewis, the nutty professor who would turn into Buddy Love. But if I could turn into Travolta from Professor Kelp, it would just kill as an act. Only I never do anything fake. So I had to be able to sing as Travolta doing Grease Lightning, as you saw live. So I go to a studio in Brooklyn because that's what I would do. I would drum, sing. But so I knew about, you know, where bands would go to record albums.

So I went to a studio on Kings Highway in Brooklyn called Fly Studios. And I bring the Fever album, and I bring Grease. And I asked these guys, can you get the lead vocal out of Grease Lightning? Because I'm not going to do it fake. If I can't sound like him, I'm not doing the act. They got it out. I rehearsed for three weeks doing this act,

these two guys. And I know it sounds like one of my old jokes what are your names Neil and Bob was that like what you do you know that was a heck of a line but the guys that own the studios names were Neil and Bob okay so these guys are watching me you know I'm in the part where you could record and they're working, you know, the whole, you know, the board. And I come out of the bathroom looking like Jerry Lewis, the nutty professor, talking to the mirror. Actually, actually, I'm a pity, ladies and gentlemen. I have my magic formula and I take the formula and I'd say, okay, hit the music.

There was an intro. And I'd be in the dark, rip off the Jerry Lewis stuff, and now I'm Travolta from Grease. And I did that act at Pips in Brooklyn, which I think you got a picture of the owner with Rodney Dangerfield outside the club. So I go to Pips on audition night, and I come up as Jerry Lewis.

I got my whole family there, my mother, my father, my sister. And because I'm telling them, don't forget, come to Pips. But what was amazing, when I put the act together, I had to sit in the theater all day and watch Grease with a pad like this and write down names for the moves Travolta was doing. Or else I'd forget when I would rehearse the act that you were seeing.

That the guy in the middle, his name is George Schultz, you know, and pips was the first real comedy club in america really and it spawned rodney what year was that uh i don't know what year they opened i think he opened in the 60s and he george himself should have been a comic he just wasn't okay but he gave rodney the line, I don't get no respect. At least, yeah. And he helped different guys. David Brenner, every time he was going to do.

62, holy shit. Yeah. 62. It was a sushi place. Mambo sushi, look at that. And he turned it into Pips. Wow. David Brenner.

Anytime Brenner was going to do the Carson show, George would help him with his set. So when the business wasn't doing well, Brenner would give them all kinds of money to survive. And the two sons ran the club. So I show up there. My parents are there. Now, picture your parents.

Now your own parents watching Joe go on stage doing an impression he was doing at five. Going, really? This is why we're here? And I'm on stage, I'm still 20 years old, doing the Jerry Lewis, actually, ladies. And it's a Brooklyn crowd. Just booing the fuck. Get the fuck off. You fucking suck.

And I'm just committed. I go, I have put together a formula. Like, okay. I take the formula. Seth Schultz knew. Shut the lights. I turn my back to the formula. Seth Schultz knew. Shut the lights. I turn my back to the crowd. They're screaming. You got 100 people, 99 people screaming to get off the stage.

I'm slicking my hair back. I'm staying calm. Music starts. It's from Fever to Disco disco inferno ladies and gentlemen somebody new somebody exciting and at that ladies and gentlemen andrew clay and i turn around with that that when you saw me in the leather jacket that look and i just pose and i start like a fake walk like travolta and fever and they're starting to scream now it it's turning. I wait because I always wait. Even to this day when I'm on stage I just wait. And so I wait till it quiets

down. I come up to the mic and I'm like, so you thought it couldn't be done, right? The place went nuts. Now I talk about the car. Here comes Grease Lightning. When I did Grease Lightning, you're talking about Brooklyn Animals, and I know you know about that stuff because you're from Boston. You know what kind of East Coast people.

Yeah. They were throwing tables over. They're going fucking berserk. I don't even know what just happened and as i'm leaving with my family here come the two sons going wait a minute where you going you know who are you like what is that you know they go we you got a manager you know and i just look at my father and i go yeah he's right here. And my family is stunned from what they just witnessed. And they go, we want to book your son to headline this coming weekend.

What? And I go. First time on stage? First time on stage. And I said, what you saw tonight, that's the whole act. They go, just do what you did tonight. Just do that. And they go, it's not a lot of money.

It's $50. You think I care? We don't care about the money. Like, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. And then we went to a diner in Sheepshead Bay, and nobody could even talk for like 10 minutes. And then my mother's like, Andrew, when did you think of this? You know, it was so great.

And then everybody starts talking about what just happened. I was shell-shocked because I'm not thinking they're going to go nuts. I thought it was a clever idea, you know, and it built from there. And within six months, I'm doing my own shows where my father's selling tickets at danger fields what year was this uh this is 1978 the first time on stage was september 13th 78 so you really hit about like eight years later 10 years february 13th 88 rodney special oh when did your cassette come out then no well rick rubin met the first one was like the first one no you're talking about the black album yes yes yes that came out right about the same time the rodney special aired okay okay I was at the laugh factory when it was just an 80 seat room

before he opened up okay I must have been 21 then I thought I was 19 yeah that's a rude up memory okay and that makes sense I and now so the girl between sets I went over to Greenblatt's to get a cup of coffee and I'm with this screenplay writer his His name was Mark. I forgot his last name, actually. Sorry. Sorry, Mark. Anyway, we're getting coffee and here comes this guy.

You know Rick Rubin with the beard, the whole look. And he's with this little, like, heavyset guy. Oh, man, here comes some asshole, you know. And he goes, yeah, can I, you know, he's soft-spoken. Can I speak with you a minute? And I do have a Brooklyn attitude. I'll admit it, you know. And I go, yeah, what can I do for you, pal?

I've got to do another show, you know. And then the guy, Mark, that's with me goes, aren't you Rick Rubin? And I'm looking at him. I'm going, who's rick he goes he basically created rap and rick goes yeah i uh i want to do an album with you and i don't want to bother you i'm going to go next door and watch the second show you know because i had to do another show and that's how me and rick met and we wound up doing five albums together you Hmm. You know, and we were a great team together. I mean,

you know, he's Rick Rubin. And, I mean, sometimes we would disagree, but you can't get Rick mad. He's an interesting cat. Well,

very different human being, right? Oh. It's, you know, I said to Rick one time, you know, when Dice Rules, where I do Grease Lightning, that was Dice Rules, the album. Okay, besides the movie. And I go, did they, I was at Westwood One Radio, something like that.

And on the way back, you know, I say to Rick, I go, did they put up all the posters like you said they were going to do? You know, and he goes, I suppose. And I'm looking at him. I go, you're the boss. Don't you know? Well, I told him to put it up. Like you can't get even if he didn't like something on an album and you know i could get heated you know i i'm that kind of personality i'm like i don't give a fuck it's not your

fucking album well then i suppose you'll do what you like i'm like don't you ever get mad didn't you ever have a fight and And he goes, actually, I never had a fight. I go, you never got a punch in the face. He goes, no. I go, well, you're about to if you don't just get mad at me at least. Like, yell at me. But great guy. And we had great experience.

So when it came to the day the laughter died, so me and Rick put out hit albums albums and this is right like i think after dice rules these are high-powered comedy albums to sell millions of copies so this you'll like mitzi's involved in this is great so um me and rick are talking and I go, you know, you know how much I love going on late at night and just, you know, no reaction because that's how my career got made. I was always like one of the last few acts at night at the comedy store, you know, because of the kind of stuff I did. So there's, you know, people sitting quiet.

You got a drunk in the front with his head on the table and you got four people that are just too tired to leave. You had those oh yeah you know and i go i want to do like the ultimate late night set you know and he sort of had the same thought process like we just go unsuspecting crowd you know and this is like you would say at the height of doing the arenas you know craziness surrounded me at that time it was like the Lady Gaga of stand up

comedy you know and now I just want to go up in front of a few people with no notes with no idea of what the album's going to be. And we do three nights at Dangerfields, and it winds up the double CD, The Day the Laughter Died.

Okay. And I'm just loving it, you know, the silence, the smoke. You could hear me smoke, you know, people walking out, you know. And we didn't cut any of it, you know. Like I said, keep it in smoke, you know, people walking out, and we didn't cut any of it, you know, like I said, keep it in there, you know, it's great. I really got angry at this family that came in. See, this'll lead to, could set me up for Saturday Night Live to tell you stuff, but so this family comes in,

these real fucking out of town is from i don't know midwest bible belt you know whatever they were but they were wearing the same coat and the same hat with the with the ball on top two daughters. And they're sitting in the front, and the more I got into them, the more the father laughed. And I got angry at that, because I'm going, this guy, I would imagine, in my mind,

that this guy really looks the fuck around with his daughters. They were old enough, you know. They were like, I don't remember the ages, but I don't know, young 20s, late teens. And I'm going, why is this motherfucker laughing

when I'm doing this? Instead of going, like, cut it out. Because I know if I was sitting there with my two daughters and some comic, some asshole on stage is going, so you like to have her on your lap or whatever I said on the album, you know, I'd look at the guy and go, walk away from me and my family or there's a problem.

You know, that's how I would get. This guy's laughing and I'm angry about it. You know, so the more he would laugh, the more I would go after this motherfucker. But there's also no laughs. That's the part I did enjoy. The actual silence of the room or somebody walking out and yelling.

What's that? There's a famous one line on that. You're about as funny as a glass of milk. You know the album better than me, which is ridiculous. Why would you not? That's it. I love that album.

Let me tell you how I found out about that album. There's a great comic in Boston named Mike Donovan. Mike Donovan got the album. I love that album. Let me tell you how I found out about that album. There's a great comic in Boston named Mike Donovan. Mike Donovan got the album. I know that name. I don't know Mike. He's a very funny comic. Very good guy. And he was a great guy when I was an open mic-er.

Would give you real good advice. He was the first guy to tell me to take a tape recorder on stage. He goes, sometimes you say things, you forgot what you said. Like sometimes you said it in a different way and it's much better. You got to listen to your recordings. Mike donovan got a hold of your cd and he was in the back room of the fucking comedy connection howling laughing at you doing nicks i'll do nix it in that ass and that to him was like one of the funniest fucking things. This guy was laughing so hard. He was like, he's a fucking psycho.

He's out there bombing. He doesn't give a fuck. There's no laughs, and it's hilarious. It's so ridiculous. This guy loved it, and I went out and got it. And I remember at the time, I was really young in comedy. And for me, the idea of wanting this out there didn't even make any sense. Like, why would he do this?

You don't know how much that means to me. See, that's what I like to hear. It was amazing to me. Because people try to pigeonhole you as this one-dimensional thing. And that is that you're missing the beauty of what he does. I always tell people this. I go from the first of all, he's the first guy ever in stand-up that people knew the jokes and wanted to say the punchline along with him.

It was crazy. It became a different thing. I go, you have to understand he cracked a code this rhyme thing what you did was it was comedy plus like it was another level of enjoyment and to this day if i don't close my shows with the poems oh yeah the audience complains i think you have to you know but there's it was a different thing thing. And then the fact that in the height of your stardom, you chose to do The Day the Laughter Died. I'm like, do you not understand what he's doing?

This is beautiful performance art. Also, to me, like you said, it's an acting piece. It was always about the acting. I got to see you do a fucking who knows how many sets late at night, unannounced, you would just show up and start insulting people in the audience.

You would choose a person, you would tell them not to laugh. You would call it, I remember what, you would call it Dice Mean. Yeah, Dice, oh no, it's Dice Mean. But let me tell you the backlash of the day the laughter died so the first one all right so sandy gallen was the manager yes david geffen put out the albums rick produced them and uh barry dilla ran fox studios that's where i had my movie deal yeah

so i get called into david geffen's office and he goes you know and i'm with rick and he's like okay can you explain this to me you know and i go what what needs to be said he goes there's no people there's you know there's there's nothing it's terrible you know you know and i go yeah and rick is laughing because rick does have a great sense of humor you know? You know? And I go, yeah, and Rick is laughing, because Rick does have a great sense of humor, you know? Rick loved it. Oh, he loved it. He loves chaos.

He loves it. So I go, no, but do you understand? It's never been. And I'm the first. I go, that's what I like being. Like, that's why I do brag about being the first arena comic. You know? Like, you know, when I think back to my idols like Elvis Presley, now everybody's into Elvis all these years later,

and Elvis fans from way back are always Elvis fans. But when I saw the 68 comeback special at 12, once again I'm there with my mother going, I can be that. Now I wasn't thinking singer or comic just that whole image you know and as I grew up she bought me a leather the next day a fake leather that was five times too big at JCPenney for $20 you know because I begged her for it but she would she would encourage you know so now I'm on the couch doing Elvis not even knowing how to play the guitar I had you know so his image was so bigger than life and I took it in a lot different than other people

because in comedy why would I because of the drums and the singing I go just become the Elvis of comedy comedy is self-deprecating, which in today, at 65 years old, I am self-deprecating on stage and I got a lot to be self-deprecating about. But when I was 25, 30 years old, there was no self-deprecation. You know, that was the difference between Dice and the other comics. And Mitzi herself told me, when I stopped doing the Travolta act and started doing Dice, she said, it's never going to work. And I go, yeah, why is that? And she goes, number one, it's too tough and it's not self-deprecating. I go, just leave me at the Westwood Comedy Store. Let me worry about it. And Mitchie loved me from the first day she met me.

When I came down what I called the runway walk from Westwood, she called, I auditioned at the store, did a 28-minute audition, and this emcee starts screaming at me when I come off the stage. I didn't know who he was. And he goes, you're never going to play this fucking club again. I go, are you the owner? Because I'm 21. So I'm a 21-year-old Brooklynite who doesn't give a fuck.

If you're in my way, I'm going to get you out of my way. So I said, are you the owner of the club? And he goes, no. I go, well, I didn't come 3,000 miles to do three minutes so get out of my way I get a call from the comedy store I was staying with a friend you're playing Westwood tonight you're gonna come sign papers at the comedy store so I go to Westwood there was a lady that from Brooklyn Adele after my set she goes Mitzi wants to meet you. So this is, I got signed as a regular first night. Okay.

Because I did that whole Travolta act, and by then Stallone, I'm doing Sly is Rocky in it. And so I come to the store, and she's standing with August and Ollie Joe and Alan Stevens, who I'm great friends with today, and, you know, just all Biff Maynard. I don't even think you met some of these guys by the time, you know. I met Alan. Okay, well, Alan's around. Alan's great, you know. He was always around back then.

I love Alan. And he's one of my best friends, actually. He worked on Roseanne's show, too, right? Yeah, he produced Roseanne. He produced Arliss. You know, he's got a heavy history. Arliss, too? He was out with Kennison and the Outlaws.

He did all that. You know, great comic, you know, on top of great producer and writer. So Mitzi's with all these guys. You know, I didn't know. I'm in comedy for, I don't know, eight months. I started September 13th, 78. I'm in L.A. February of 79. Why?

Because this one comic who you know, Mitchell Walters, came back to Brooklyn. That's where he was from. And he happened to come in on a weekend. I was headlining. And he's asking, who the fuck is this guy doing the Travolta? And the owners told him. So he talks to my father. He keeps calling my father in the office, who I was working for, you know,

because there was no job I could have. I was at clubs every night. From the first night I got on stage, that was it. I'm performing every night, everywhere. And I just dedicated my life to it and that's what it takes as you know you know I love when Pitbull says that how did I get lucky hard work got me lucky that's all it's about hard work and belief and knowing what you have inside to give do you think it was like weird friction because like there's some guys that think that comedy has to come from the same group of people?

Like it has to come from neurotic, self-deprecating, like it has to come from these sort of nerds who are like bullied by society and they're funny on stage and they can tell you what the fuck's going on. When a guy who comes along like you is very confident, you're a big guy, you didn't come from a theater background, and you have this new approach to it. And even Mitzi missed it. Like, sometimes people... Well, at that point, she missed it. Yeah, but, like, there's people that do things, and you're like, man, I don't know.

Because when you... But you've got to give it, like... Try to explain Harlan Williams to someone. Try to explain Harlan. It's impossible. I get it. He's fucking hilarious. But it's so strange.

Like his style is so strange. But coming out of him with his personality, the way he says things. Hilarious. It's hilarious. It's really funny. If you get the chance to see Harlan, Harlan Williams is the fucking man. But the people out there listening, go see that guy. He's amazing.

But he had to become that guy to figure that out. Yeah, see, and I, you know, some people go through their whole life never knowing who they are. They're not comfortable in their, like Eleanor would say, not comfortable in their own skin. Right. You know, I always knew who I was. Now, you know, when people say to me, you know, who's Dice, who's Andrew, who's that?

I'm all of it, you know. But, you know, I'm not walking around in the street going, yeah. You know, when you see those videos, I go, yeah, how you doing? That's a put on. That's a joke. If I'm really going to say hello to a girl, which I haven't in four years, obviously, you know, I'm going to go, yeah, how you doing? Right. Not, how you doing?

Because any girl in her right mind is going to go, get the fuck away from me. I'll call my four brothers. If they don't, it's a real problem. You know, so, and I do want to get into the videos, but just let me finish the day to laugh to die thing. So when David Geffen says to me, see, what I always prided myself on, because I became, even though I wanted the acting career, I had two careers going now. I was building as a comic.

I wanted the acting career. I had two careers going now. I was building as a comic. Actually, Dallas was the first place I headlined as a comic in the mid 80s at a place called the, I forgot the name of the place. Don't even fucking matter. It was a club. You do two weeks at a clip and I just started headlining, you know, by the time I was, I don't know, 24, 25. just started headlining you know by the time i was i don't know 24 25 and the thing was yeah mitzi didn't understand it at that point because she knew comics with think of old time think of think of uh what the fuck his face homely is a plate full of assholes what was his name uh no you uh not not don rickles who also wasn't a gorgeous guy, but my favorite of all time. He came from that time. He looked like Gates.

Hackett. Buddy Hackett. Think of Buddy's fucking face. Yeah. You think that guy's going to be confident? Right. He knows what he looks like, so he's going to be self-deprecating, and that's how comics would get laid back there in those times.

They weren't good-looking people. Today you've got better-looking people. But Lenny Bruce is a good-looking guy. Yeah, which his mother said to me. That was a big compliment because I'm with Mitzi, and Mitzi would say to Sally, because I used to sit with Sally at Schwab's, you know, and she'd always go, oh, you're handsome like my Lenny. It was a compliment because I knew he was a nice looking guy. And Mitzi would say to Sally, she'd go, he's a movie star.

He's not even a comic. You know, she never had that. All those comics back then, just look at them. Look at the pictures on the wall at the comedy store and you'll know. But just to get back to the day the laughter died, because people are listening. So Geffen tells me, why? Why does this have to be? Why can't we just trash this?

And I go, because it's never been done. Every comic gets recorded they do their very very best to kill i did my best to bomb you know i just wanted to see what i could come up with in front of a couple people he goes but why a double album why can't it just be a i go same reason never done okay and mitchie by the, would come to the arenas with me. When I did the forum, I'd pick her up in the limo. She'd fly to New York. She was at the Garden.

She was at the Meadowlands, which sold out. At that time, Meadowlands, biggest arena ever, 21,500, sold out in 40 minutes. That my agent, Dennis Offer, at that time, who the only other comic he's ever handled was Rodney. And I'd been with him and Pete Pappalardo for 35 years. Okay, my whole career. And when Dennis saw me do the Rodney special,

he came over to me, he goes, I've seen every comic comic I come to every one of Rodney's specials I never wanted any of them I want you and I've been with him all this time and so I'll tell you the rise to the arenas but so Mitzi comes over my house I'm just trying to keep my place here for you after the David Geffen experience okay and she goes i want to hear this album i'm hearing things about it you know and it's not out yet you know so i i put on a cd and she's listening you know mitzi she's always truthful you know tells you how she thinks and And she goes, Andrew, what is this? I go, and I want to laugh in the face, but I got to keep a straight. I go, it's my new album.

What do you think? She goes, it's going to ruin your career. I go, this? I don't think so. Just like you told me about Dice would never work. You know, it's not going to ruin the career. I go, I don't want to see your career. You work so hard to get there. I go, don't worry about it.

Bottom line, album comes out, four days, gold. I don't even know how many platinums it is to this day. It's the biggest selling comedy album ever as far as I know. Okay? The biggest comedy and for comics it's like a Bible for some fucking reason. See I don't see what you see I just know I like being a guy that that did things first. See that's what I loved about Elvis. When Elvis came along, there was nobody for him to talk to,

to go, how do I handle being Elvis? Yeah, but you understand, like, just the ability to put out something of you bombing in the height of your stardom. Do you know how nuts that is? Like, it's really hilarious. I know you just did it

because you wanted to be first, but it's just what you're doing is so crazy. So hilarious. I know you just did it cuz you wanted to be first, but it's just what I know But I also know how crazy so different. Yeah, so different. Yeah, I could go into a club or an arena The internet was around back then people would have understood it. They would have gotten into it I think back then it was so hard because all you had was like MTV or VH1 And think of that the narratives were weird the fact that you don't have internet and in less than a week it's a half a million sold yeah it was selling faster than like m&m albums when when he came out so uh you know so uh you know i got so much to tell you that was something i was going to bring up because of the data lab it it's when you have

nothing to compare yourself to other than other first see i grew up like i said i didn't care about comedy it was all about acting okay other than my drums and the singing stuff the musical stuff when i came into comedy i said i'll become like like a movie star you know that was my confidence and getting on a comedy stage would help me obviously and then there was a lot of backlash like we said you know the first to be canceled type of thing once i took off but you say before i made it you know i was working with my first movie, George Kennedy. It was called Wacko. Stella Stevens, who starred with Jerry Lewis and the Nutty Professor and Joe Don Baker, who did Walking Tall. This stupid movie called Wacko. But I couldn't believe the people I'm getting to work with. the people I'm getting to work with. Like I'd call home and talk to my parents and my sister and go, you know, it's Joe Don Baker walking tall and George Kent, cool hand Luke, you know. So it was all about the acting. Then I did a movie, Private Resort, Johnny Depp and Rob Morrow.

Now, Johnny, we know where his career went. Rob has a more low-key career, but he's a big star. He's in Billions. He did his own show, Northern Exposure. And the producer would say it was a little beach movie in Florida we did. He goes, the three of you are going to be huge stars. He just knew, this Israeli producer. Then it was Pretty in Pink, Molly Ringwald, you know, John Cryer, that John Hughes took one scene I did and split it into two.

That's how much he loved me, to show me twice in the movie, making the grade. Judd Nelson, I was almost like auxiliary Brat Pack, that they would use me in their movies. And then I did Casual Sex for Ivan Reitman and his wife director, Jean Vievre. And I played the Vin Man. Now, you remember Judy Tull, who passed away. Okay. She writes. She writes.

Are you crying, Dice? You know what? That's my weakness. She was great. What's your weakness? My own sensitivity. That's not a weakness. That's not a weakness. Sometimes I think it is.

No, no, no. I'm just trying to tell you a story, and I'm crying. No, I like the fact that you're crying. I like the fact that people get to know who you are. I've seen you cry, too. I cry, man. I don't think there's anything wrong with crying. I like the fact that people get to know who you are. I've seen you cry, too. I cry, man. I don't think there's anything wrong with crying. I'm an emotional person.

She was a great girl. Came out to L.A. with Tom Wilson, was her boyfriend, who wound up as Biff in Back to the Future. And she wrote. He was a comic, too, right? Yeah. Yeah. Lived with me for six years. And she wrote Casual Sex. And instead of calling it The Dice Man, she called it The Vin Man, and I played the part. And they show, they screen the movies for test audiences. And I was there with one of my wives at the time.

And I was there with one of my wives at the time. And so after the screening, Ivan calls me over with the head of Universal and his wife. And he goes, would you come back Christmas time? And I go, for what? He goes, we're going to rewrite the last 20 minutes to a half hour to make you the star of the movie. That's how much the audience loved you you know so i'm like yeah i'll come back and i couldn't believe it you know like they changed him from like the attitude of dice to all of a sudden he's you know the other side the softer the guy that cries side right and uh and I wind up with Leah Thompson in the movie. That's the end of the movie.

And they rewrote the whole thing to make me the star of the movie, and they're like, you're going to be a big star. And then I was working on Michael Mann's crime story, which spawned everybody. spawned everybody. Dennis Farina, Michael Madsen, David Caruso, Kevin Spacey, all these great actors that just blew up from Crime Story, which was the show Michael Mann did after he was done with Miami Vice. And so Crime Story really became, a few years later, Scorsese's Casino.

So if you could think of Casino, I played in Crime Story the Robert De Niro part, the guy that ran the casino. And Tony Dennison played the Pesci part in the series. Now, the series was going to be canceled. It wasn't the days of HBO like you put The Sopranos on and it lasts 10 years. You know, it was a network show. I forgot if it was ABC or NBC. But it was an expensive show to shoot.

NBC. But it was an expensive show to shoot. So Michael Mann directed one of the only episodes that I had a giant part in. Now, if you think of Casino, Joe Pesci bangs Sharon Stone. Okay. And then they wind up blowing up De Niro out of the car. In the series Crime Story, De Niro out of the car in the series crime story I get blown up out of the car because Tony Dennison is banging my wife in the show all right so it's same story it's the same story it's a real story about those gangsters from the Midwest right Chicago and only in the movie they don't do the cops that were after them the major crime unit that was after them, which Dennis Farina was really the real cop, you know, and he became an actor. See, Michael Mann loves guys that really were jewel thieves

or real criminals, but Dennis Farina became a gigantic actor, and I loved the guy. He was amazing. So anyway, we're shooting the episode where I got blown up out of the car. And we're in Vegas. And they have me in a cast from my waist up. And I had just filmed the Rodney Dangerfield special. Okay.

And Michael Mann's talking about that the show's going to get canceled. And I said, listen, I need to talk to you. You know, you can't cancel the show. And he goes, all right, when we take lunch, me and you will go have coffee. And you know the Peppermill in Vegas on the Strip. So he puts me in his Trans Am, and the Strip wasn't like it is today. You could cut through the desert. That was a third of the hotels like you see today so he cuts through and I'm wobbling in the car because I'm in this fucking cast so now we're in the pepper mill and I'm smoking

you know my arms up the whole thing and he goes all right so what do you need to talk to me about now Michael Mann at that time is probably 45 47 years old I'm like 29 I'm like the youngest guy in the cast and I said you can't cancel Crime Story he goes you don't understand it's it's a great show but it's a very expensive show and nobody has really blown up from the show. So I'm looking at a guy with a straight face, only I'm in a cast, blowing smoke out of the cast. I go, give me about three, four months, and I'll be like the biggest star on the planet.

He's going, what are you talking about? Like now he's like a little pissed off. I go, I just filmed this Rodney Dangerfield HBO young comedian show, and when it airs, I'm going to be the biggest comic in the world that the world's ever seen. He goes, bigger than Pryor?

I go, way bigger. Bigger than anybody, you know bigger than eddie murphy i go yeah of course i go eddie does you know eddie eddie at his peak was doing 7 000 seats which was unheard of when he would do it but i know where i'm going i have a plan and he goes look dice he goes i love you as an actor and i think you have a big career in acting he goes, look, Dice, he goes, I love you as an actor, and I think you have a big career in acting. He goes, and I wish you all the luck with the skit that you're talking about, with the Rodney thing.

I go, but the show is just too expensive, and we're going to get the pink slip on it. I go, I'm telling you, it's a mistake. Okay. The show gets canceled within a month. Show's done, you know, and people love crime stories. The people that were fans of crime story, it was like Sopranos fans, you know. The Rodney special is, number one, I took a full page ad in Variety. Back then it was a newspaper, not digital. Full page. Half the

page was my picture. I'm sitting on a chair backwards with a real attitude. And then the right side was a whole poem about how I never studied much in school, but when I turned on the tube and then I named everybody, there was Elvis the King, Buddy Rich with Hands Like Lightning, Travolta made me dance, every big star, Brando made me pout, Dean had us all, all these big stars.

And at the end, I write, Murphy and Pryor both great, no doubt, but in 88, it's dice thou shalt. I never studied much in school, but I did study. Okay? That comes out on a Thursday because I know the industry shuts down Friday. Okay. So I wanted everybody to see this. Now, obviously, if I was wrong, biggest asshole in the world. I'm a joke. The show airs Saturday night, okay? Monday, done. Biggest comic there is.

The gigs just started coming. How did Rodney find you? Rodney saw me at the comedy store. Like, I showcased for him. How did they set that up? Like, would Mitzi pick the lineup? There was a producer, Rob Freed, all right, that worked for Orion that got him in there somehow and so what was this guy at the clubs watching people no no he was a

movie producer so who was the one that picked you guys um that's a question I couldn't answer I don't know if it was Mitzi I don't know if it was babe from New York who ran Dangerfields, who actually wanted me. Because that's such an important spot. To get on a young comedian special back then, the Roddy Dangerfield specials were... Well, that was it. That made everybody. It was everything.

Kenison, you, Dom Herrera, Bob Nelson. Lenny Clark. Lenny Clark. Jesus Christ. Robert Schimmel. Yeah. Yeah. That was the shit.

But you see, this is where I'm different than other comics. So, and I love Dom Irera, but I'd watch Dom. You know, we had months to get ready. And I'm just in preparation zone. I couldn't give a fuck if there was no one in the room. I'm going up. I'm rehearsing. Because all I wanted to worry about the night of the special, because're going to be nervous inside but they can't see it okay so i'm going to look right

and i'm going to play america had you done any kind of comedy special before that no no nothing nothing this i knew what this could do because when kennison broke in 86, that he got, that Babe at that time was telling Rodney, you got to see this guy dice. So I think it was Babe that got me on the showcase in 88. Okay. And so the only thing I wanted to worry about was playing the room. And what I meant by the room is not just Dangerfields, America. Like I wanted them to feel me. So the outfit had to be right.

Everything had to be right. So there was no way I'm going to fuck around on stage. I don't care if nobody's there. It's time to rehearse, you know, from beginning to end. So I remember doing the shot. so I remember doing the shot you know I remember leaving the hotel the Regency Hotel in full garb with a belt buckle this big a Harley Davidson belt I wanted people looking I wanted to feel it I wanted to feel New York because I'm about to change my life. It was, I come off, you know, oh, and Barry Sobel, this is great. He shows up for rehearsal that day in a motorcycle jacket. And he's always in a baseball jacket. And I like these

guys, but back then comics didn't have each other's backs. It's just the way it was. So I go over to Rodney and I go, Rodney, why is Barry Sobel in a motorcycle jacket? So Rodney goes, hey, Barry, come over here, man. OK, what's with the leather? He goes, well, this is what I'm going to wear tonight. No, you're not, man. You're going to wear a baseball jacket. He goes, no, I'm going to wear this. He goes, no, you're going to wear a baseball jacket. You're not doing the show. How's that sound? OK, everything cool. All right, Dice, it wear this. He goes, no, you're going to wear a baseball jacket or you're not doing the show. How's that sound? Okay, everything cool. All right, Dice, it's handled. It was great, right?

So he basically wore the same jacket you were wearing. He was trying to, you know. Do you think he did it on purpose? Yeah, 100%. Back then, comics weren't like you. Nobody had anybody's back. Today, comics help each other with their podcast. You know, you want to open for me, Bobby Lee's out with a great guy. I mean, comics help each other with their podcast. You know, you want to open for me

Bobby Lee's out with a great guy. I mean, they help each other today. Back then, stab him in the back before he stabs you. That's just how it was. So me, I just kept to myself. I felt like the Frank Serpico at a comedy store. I didn't want to make no friends.

It's not like that now. No, it's nothing like that now no it's nothing like that guys are friends today it's a whole different thing out there when do you think that changed what year did that start to change in the early 2000s when all the new guys started coming out you know you know and starting out it all came out of the store though you know it came out of the store because guys from new york come to the store guys from new york would come to the store and they'd say that they would say everyone here is like real friendly they help each other they write tags for each other they're all fucking around together they go it's a different kind of camaraderie then we would go to the mitzi's bar

and hang out when you saw me filming at the store it was all the new guys right the show was about all the new guys yeah you know I could look I remember Bobby Lee like I had a lot of ideas open for me I had Bobby Lee open for me at Sebastian open for me had a million openers okay that I would look to help see I'm a guy that even when I took off I would looked at Jim Norton one of the best you know he you know if Norton was on with me he'd say I have a career course of dice Eddie Griffin does he says all the time Eddie Griffin I remember I had a William Morris agent Eddie Griffin

came over to me at the Comedy Store goes I'm gonna open for you one day I don't know who the hell he is I happen to come to the Comedy Store. I'm going on tour the next morning. And I see Eddie on stage, who's got nothing other than incredible potential and balls and a couple bits. And that's what I loved about him, his energy. He made them laugh at nothing. Okay? So he comes outside, you and i go hey eddie how you doing tonight he goes oh great you know and he tries to like stand up to me you know because

it's scary because i know what it was to see big stars at the store and i'd never go over to them yeah wait till i tell you how i got to open for prior and became like Mitzi's guy for Pryor, for Robin Williams and Eddie Murphy. I'll tell you that story and that'll amaze you. But Eddie Griffin stand there, I go, you know, I caught you tonight. You really are pretty good. You're going to really have a career. He goes, you think so? I go, yeah, why don't you go home and pack? We leave in the morning for Philadelphia. It was the first time I did the spectrum, and I was doing a whole tour. We get to Philly. I notice Eddie don't have a jacket.

He's not wearing socks, and there's snow on the ground. So I take him shopping. I forgot which stores we went to, and I just fill him up with clothing, and that's when he started calling me Uncle D, you know, from that time on. Now we're at the Comedy Store, and I'm with William Morris. I forgot the agent.

I had a lot of agents by then, you know. So I call over my agent, Michael Gruber is his name. And I said, Michael, I want you to meet Eddie Griffin. He goes, yeah, how you doing, Eddie? He goes, you were very funny tonight. Yeah, I go, can you do me a favor? Just sign him in the morning. I go, that's what I need done. Just sign him in the morning. I go,

that's what I need done. You know, and I was just able to get it done. Signs Eddie. Months later, Eddie's got Malcolm and Eddie,

the TV sitcom. I remember that. And from that, he went on to the movie stardom and he's had a great career. But I used to like to do, Lenny Clark. Fucking Lenny.

The best. I have Lenny open for me. Number one, the crowd wanted nothing to do with the openers. It was just them doing the wave singing. Asshole. Asshole. They only want the dice. It was absolute fucking bedlam.

I mean, I'd look at the crowds and go, I don't know what I'm going to do. I never went to concerts as a kid. I didn't give a shit about concerts, you know. And I didn't even go see Elvis, who I idolized. So Lenny Clark's on stage, NASA Coliseum. They don't want anything to do with him and he goes look I gotta stay out here anyway you know and do my time

and he sits down and he starts clipping his toenails okay Dan he's so great I love I haven't seen him in years but I know what a wonderful guy he is and he's had an amazing career and this was the start of it cause he calls me up when we're gonna I haven't seen him in years, but I know what a wonderful guy he is. And he's had an amazing career.

And this was the start of it because he calls me up when we're going to do the Universal Amphitheater. And he goes, Dice, you mind if I have some people come down to see me? I go, Lenny, that's what it's all about. I want you to go further, you know. And he gets his own television show. I think it was called Lenny. Well, the show fails miserably. My friend Peter Dobson was in it, a young actor.

But they take Lenny now and they put him on Frasier. I think it was Frasier for all the years playing a cop. So his career blew up and he's had a great career. But I used to love that, that I could look at a guy and I go, I helped make that happen. Just like Rodney gave me the shot of a lifetime, you know. And I remember even coming to Rodney when I was going to do the garden, which a lot of people don't know. I did over 300 arenas. I did 12 million people up to 19.

300 arenas. Well, you're people up to 19. 300 arenas. Jesus Christ. You're doing them too now, so I'm not even going to make a big deal. That's an amazing number. Look, I've seen what you've been doing. But yeah. No, you sent me good luck when I did the garden. Because I knew how important it was to you.

That's like if I would've... See, nobody got behind me when I made it. Right. You know, I didn't have any... The only comic was Eddie Murphy. Let me tell you a Lenny Clark story. Yeah.

I only had been paid for comedy on two occasions at this time. This was the second time. I opened up for this guy named Warren McDonald in this shitty little bar gig. And then I opened up for this guy named Warren McDonald in this shitty little bar gig. And then I opened up for Lenny Clark. And Lenny Clark, it was after Lenny had done Young Comedian Special.

Okay. Which is the one I did. And I don't know even how I got recommended to do it. So it's at Jay's in Pittsfield, Massachusetts. This crazy comedy club that was out in Western Massachusetts. It was a great place. And I go on stage and I do well. It Western Massachusetts. It was a great place. And I go on stage, and I do well. It was fun.

It was a good set. And I get off stage, and Mike Clark is Lenny's brother. And Mike Clark books Giggles and Saugus, and Mike Clark's the fucking man. And Mike Clark goes, kid, you're really funny, but you got to clean it up. Like, your act is too dirty. And everybody said that to me back then. I was like, ugh. And then Lenny comes off stage. He goes, kid, is too dirty. And everybody said that to me back then. I was like, ugh. And then Lenny comes off stage.

He goes, kid, that was hilarious. He goes, that fucking bit about the one bit that Mike Clark told me, don't do that bit anymore. Lenny was like, that bit was hilarious. And he goes, he was just telling me to clean it up. He goes, yeah, you should probably clean it up. But fuck it. I never did. Exactly.

I was on stage at an open mic night once. And after I did my set, the open mic night host called me Joe fucking Rogan. And then he comes off stage, and he lectures me on how I shouldn't swear, and it's cheap and easy comedy. And I said, but the guys that I like, they all swear. That's the comedy that I like. Like Dice Clay goes, you're not Dice Clay. I remember thinking this. But wasn't like. Like, Dice Clay goes, yeah, you're not Dice Clay. I remember thinking this.

But wasn't Dice Clay not Dice Clay? Wasn't all these people weren't they? It's just so easy to say, oh, that's a cheap way to get a laugh. It's a dumb thing to think, too, because there's all sorts of ways to do music. There's all sorts of ways to do movies. Exactly. There's all genres. Look, I like violent movies. It doesn't mean I

like violence. I like a little violence. Controlled. But it's like coffee. Do you want some coffee? Want some more? Get in there. Get some black. Drink it out of the cup. Like a man. Alright, like a man. We'll do this like a man. We're at a fucking camp together. Like we're camping. Cheers. Yeah, cheers, brother.

I get to keep the cup. I mean, it's Fuck yeah. You got a Yeti for you, brother. It's good. It's not bad. Black rifle. I got to come back on sugar anyway. My girlfriend will like it. Yeah?

Yeah. Yeah, sugar's terrible. I'm going through a whole thing. Yeah, I can help you. I can help you with that. I shouldn't have brought it up. She's going to now tell me, you should listen to Rogan. Because I do exercise a lot

i do it's my hobby it's i don't do what you do i mean the first time i saw you honestly i think i've told this to you matthew i see him in uh in the in the the middle black. I used to like to look at Black Belt magazine. There he is in a split with his onions basically plastered to the fucking ground. With every muscle popping out of his body. And I go, I know this guy. He's a comic. But I didn't know about the karate or anything yet. I just knew you was a comic.

And I thought that was amazing. and I know how you are cuz I I know you for years so I should know you work out and I know everything with you I know with the fighting thing yeah the announcing yeah I mean I know it all but what I'm saying is my girlfriend here Frogan's telling you to cut back and have this instead of. You gotta think about it this way. She gets on me with it, but I. It's a real simple way to think about it, literally. Literally you are what you eat. Actually, figuratively, you are what you eat.

The only way your body has the proper fuel is if you give it to it. If you give your body bullshit, your body gives you bullshit. No, I do. It's really simple. There aren't many foods I eat. Like, I don't really believe in vegetables. You know what I mean?

Well, you should try the carnivore diet then. A lot of people are very successful in that. No, it's not even about a diet. 208 pounds. Yeah, but I mean, it's not about diet as in trying to lose weight. It's about diet as in fueling your body correctly. You don't have as much inflammation No, and I know you do know a lot about that You should get checked out to see if you have food allergies because you might be dealing with if you don't have any

Have you done the whole time of that? Have you done this the test where they do it different things, you know, but have you done that test? That test is very well. It's really really it really works well it's it's it's helped many people that i know you you go and they test you for a bunch of different things like you know some people they find out they're allergic to like certain vegetables some people are allergic to gluten some people allergic to all kind of milk and they're they don't even know they're they're intolerant to it and they're just like they just accept that their body feels like shit see but i don't feel like shit that's you know and and i you know maybe you could feel better you know i you know why you're probably

right about that but what i am glad about is that you know i had a heart attack when i was 60 okay whoa and i didn't know i had to have a stent put in. Yeah, I didn't make that like news. You know what I made news? And this will interest you. All right, you're looking at me. I look normal. Yes.

And I know I look normal. I got hit with a few things. I got hit with Bell's Pulse. Yeah, I know about that. Okay, and I didn't hide from it. Which side of your face was it? It was this side of my face. And see, I'm a certain way because I am a fighter in my heart, you know.

And I was like, I'm not canceling my shows. And I'm not going to hide the fact that I have Bell's Pulse. I posted about it. You know, I made fun of it on stage. I would do Sammy Davis for like 10 minutes. Yeah, because my face is down to here. You know what I mean? Yeah.

So I would make the whole thing. I'd go, what can I find my eye? You know? And I would just do all that stuff. And then a kooky, kooky, kooky, you know, just getting into Sammy. And that's how I would make fun of the Bell's palsy. You know, just getting into Sam. And that's how I would make fun of the Bell's palsy. Because also at the beginning, you know, you know, I during the like pandemical, I changed.

Like, I don't like when people like use the C word. Like, I'll even yell at Eleanor. She says, you know, that word went out with high button shoes, you know, like, Eleanor if she says that. You know, that's old. That word went out with high-button shoes, you know. You don't like that word? No. Do you really think we should abandon words at some point in time? No. I think you come up with better ones.

Okay. Like, all right, let's say I don't want to talk about my girlfriend in this way, but I only have one girl. But you could be, at a at a family function and you say something like uh you know what babe maybe we should go home now i'm really in the mood for that glazed donut hole you could say that in front of kids saying well that in but i'm using cunt as a pejorative no but what i'm I'm saying is I use pink-lipped lagoon. Right, but that's like an actual thing.

Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. When you're saying the C word, you're saying it because the person's an asshole. Oh, you're talking about like an argument. Like an argument. Yeah, or someone is a Karen. You would call them a Karen now. Well, that I don't get into. That's true, right?

It's kind of replaced the C word. There's so much I can't change. I can't change. When they changed, this is when I knew everything was going to shit. When they changed... That's kind of a friendly way to say the C word. Call someone a Karen. Yeah, but, you know... Because it's just a word.

It's just a... I mean, imagine. But what if your name's Karen? It sucks if your name is Karen. Exactly. This lady told me once, it was hilarious. I go, she goes, you know, hi, my name's Karen. And I said, does that bother you, the whole Karen thing? She goes, no, because I spell it different. Oh, God.

She's like, I spell it K-A-R-Y-N. I'm like, okay, you win. Like, what are you saying? You still got fucked. They still got you. They still got you. Because she was in her 40s. And, like, they had got her with that name.

Yeah. Her whole life, she was fine. It was a regular girl name exactly now It's no good, and there's no God. There's no guy name like that It's like maybe that some people say Chad, but there's some badass Chad's out there That though it doesn't work You know it's like honking honking doesn't work either You know you can't it's it's funny that there's not one like that for a change so many stupid things the Karen ones perfect though It's like it's it sucks if your name is Karen, but goddamn. It's perfect. There's no little baby Karen's around right now

I fucking doubt it I would like to see that nobody's name in the clip drop off from the time Karen became a thing to the time kids stopped naming the kids Karen. I just can't do it though Karen It's not a bad name. No, it's a nice name. It's a beautiful name. Yeah, exactly. Nothing wrong with it.

So it's almost like you're calling somebody something nice. You're a Karen. Oh, thank you. I generally don't use it, but it is funny that it's a thing. It's interesting. I'm just saying, like, when I talk to guys that come to my show and I go, you know, they're married 30 years, whatever, and I go, so you're still using the P word and the C? Come on.

You know. What do you call it? Oh. Beautiful names, right? Moose Canoe. Oh, better. You know what I mean? Much better. Tangy Tuna Tower. Tangy Tuna Tower. I go, how many times, think of this. That should be a band. Don't you think a girl gets bored

when the guy's head is buried in the pillow? How many times she got to hear in her life, I'm going to come. She's heard that thousand. She's probably miming it. You know, I'm going to come. You know, I go, you come up with something different. Everything changes. You know, that's how I look at life.

You make it more exciting rather than a dimmer. You want to be the first. No, rather than a dimmer in your bedroom. Right. Have three, four lava lamps going. The dimmer with the dust on it. Come on. Right.

Mix it up. Yeah, you got to be. Romanticize it. Especially when you're with somebody for a long time. Right. I really understand that stuff. I don't know what, well, I don't want to do real bits on the show but you know i talk about all that on stage and how see because i was the guy they said hated women

but i don't really think like i have a friend that said to me on the phone he goes look he's 65 i i understand that you still love sex he goes i, I like it too, but not like you. You like it. It's like every time you have sex, it's like the first time. I go, because I always appreciated it. I always found it exciting. You know? You know, it's like, you know, one minute you're saying hello to somebody

and what's signed to you and what do you do to to make a dollar and the next thing you're just banging into this fucking marbleized meat steak you know relentlessly and going all right i guess you're mine now you know but i always appreciate it so the 80s were a magical time but i just try it. Like, it never gets old to me when I'm into somebody. You know what I mean? And even from many years ago, you know, they're going, this is the guy that hates women. I go, there's probably nobody more romantic. If you spoke to my girl, all right, we all know Valentine's Day, flowers, chocolates, bullshit, right? I need a Monday. My girl, I'm always, and I don't buy the

bullshit grocery $3 flower. I go in, the flower guy knows me because I go, today, the torvays, you know, and I'll throw, I spent thousands on it a year because I like how she feels when she gets fresh flowers. I mean, she happens to be Southern, but she just loves it. You know, she just loves the smell of it, the look of it. And it just gives me pleasure when I could do something sweet for her. That's not a holiday. I don't need a birthday or or valentine's day when i could get you flowers every week if i want you know and that the doorbell rings and she goes

oh this is so sweet thank that's how how i've been really my whole life but not but you you're very sensitive to that because that was like a thing that really bothered you when people were coming out true It wasn't true, but it was also it's like this is what I always say It's like when when you see Brad Pitt smash that woman's face against the mantle and once upon a time in Hollywood He's not really doing that Exactly, that's not real. So What is it about you know in a movie? It's not real, you know in a song That's not really Bob Marley didn't really's not real, you know in a song that's not real.

Like Bob Marley didn't really shoot the sheriff, right? We all know that. So what is it about comedy that's so obviously a persona? It's so obviously this over-the-top character that you've created and it's hilarious. And so many people like it. Why did that bother people so much? This is what's crazy about it It's like how come no one I could understand if you don't like it. I can understand. It's not your thing, but it was universal except for fans

so obviously whoever's reviewing it is not representing everyone because There's so many people coming out to see you and they're having the time of their life And I was one of those fans And I was one of those fans. I was one of those fans. So for me, I didn't understand it. Like as a comic, I'm like, he's just doing comedy. Like what is wrong with you people? It really, you know.

You can't dictate. These are the free speech people. These are the First Amendment people. You can't dictate what a person talks about or doesn't talk about. Back then, though, you couldn't go after them. Right. See, if they came out with the newspaper today, at least you can fight back with the social media. They had ultimate power to shape society by deciding things sucked.

Yeah, it was a brutal time. It's a brutal time. Number one, I enjoyed this time way better for me. Yeah. And I enjoy getting on stage way more for me now, you know, because these are fans that just appreciate what I do. And now I'm, like, grandfathered in. I'm not part of with the canceling.

I do what I do. I came through it, and I'm still standing, as they would say. So I just go on stage and do the. I came through it, and I'm still standing, as they would say. So I just go on stage and do the act I want to do, and I don't care what anybody thinks about it. And like I said, it is a lot more deprecating now. But you had a resurgence because of the Internet too, though. Well, I also had a resurgence because, you know, like I said,

it was always about acting to me. And, you know, I don't know what I want to talk about. All right. So what was it, 2009 or 10? Here comes Doug Allen, who created Entourage. And he's getting ready to do his very last season of Entourage. And we have a meeting at the Soho Club which is like Entourage you know and he said to me and look when I talk to another comic sometimes it's hard so I'm going to say I think you're an incredible comedian you're on top of performer you're an incredible comedian

your thoughts are great you're a worldly guy. You know a lot of stuff. So when you perform, that's why you have built the audience you have around the entire fucking world. I mean, to me, this was never even a thought in my head that somebody would come along. Because to me, I always look like at Howard Stern, like who's ever going to come along and top what this guy has done? And then slowly but surely, here you come.

And now you have basically the biggest audience in the world. And that's why I tell you how proud I am, because you had enough success way before this to walk away from it all and just do stand up. But this is something you wanted. And you took the time to nurture it and build it and do it your own way, and you just became it. And I love when I see an original, and you are an original,

and this incredible comic-slash-performer, because you don't stand in one spot on stage. I've seen you on your back kicking your fucking feet it's hilarious to me so when I do say things about myself don't think I'm the only one that thinks I'm great I know others that are great and you're one of them and I appreciate you thank you you know and I appreciate like Bill Burr I think is And I appreciate, like, Bill Burr, I think, is amazing. I love Bill. Dave Chappelle, amazing. Amazing.

Chris Rock, amazing. Amazing. But right now, I'm sitting talking to you, so I do, I get into my story, but I like you to know what I really think of you, because I know how good that feels to somebody. It does. I appreciate you very much, Dice. And what you

accomplished is unaccomplishable unless you're Joe Rogan and see it that way and believe in yourself that you're an original as you are. I really appreciate that, but I don't even think about it that way. I just do what I like to do and I keep doing it and

this one became popular. And I am amazed by it. Thank you. And what's funny about that whole statement is that I forgot what I was going to tell you before I told you that. But it doesn't even matter because of, you know, I wanted to let you know that today. That was important to me. All those other guys, whether it's Howard or Opie and Anthony, even Imus, like all those sort of controversial radio characters, they all set the stage for this. But it was really Opie and Anthony.

That was really where I really decided. I mean, that's really where I learned how fun it is just to hang out. Yeah, and I did that show a thousand times. It was so fun to hang out. There was nothing like it. I remember they would goof on me before I got to know them. You know, because Anthony does a great dice. A perfect dice.

Okay. He does the perfect dice. It's pretty damn good. And I would get a call from, you know, my friend and personal security person throughout the years, Club Soda Kenny. I love Club Soda Kenny. I don't know if he bodyguards you. He bodyguards. No, he hasn't, but I love that guy.

He's amazing. And he works with Bill Burr full time. And he bodyguards you. He bodyguards. No, he hasn't, but I love that guy. He's amazing. And he works with Bill Burr full time. And he bodyguards Madonna. He's an amazing guy. The girl. Wait. The blonde girl comedian. Oh, that one.

I just forgot her name for a second. Which one? I'm not looking to even make fun of her. Which one? He worked with her for years. Because when I'm talking fast, I forget certain things. I do too. He knows who I'm talking looking to even make fun of her. Which one? He worked with her for years. Because when I'm talking fast, I forget certain things. I do too. He knows who I'm talking about, though.

Club Soda, you know. Okay. Anyway, so he's – there's so many thoughts going through my head right now. You might have got a contact high. Is that it? I'm stoned out now. You had a stone. I think you're right.

I think so, too. And I like weed, but I'll do it at night. Right. Yeah. Well, I take things to help my memory while I'm smoking weed. Well, it's not helping mine. Yeah, I didn't give you some. I'll give some out for brain next time.

It's the balancing act of the positive benefits of weed and the memory loss part. No, I've just got. You're fucking crazy. We got you. You really got me. I got you accidentally. I didn't mean to. No, but I get it.

Why did you quit the cigarettes? See, when I did, when I got the palsy face. Okay. I know we were talking about that. Yeah well i've quit cigarettes twice i quit for 10 years and uh that's the first time i went back i i didn't want to smoke or gamble and you know uh you know because i was a big time gambler with blackjack for a long time. Oh, really? Yeah. What's, like, the most you ever bet?

Oh, no, millions that have gone around in a circle, you know. And the first time Bobby Lee opens for me. This is hilarious. He's a new comic, okay? And I did Bally's, let's see, the 12 or 13 years. It was like this big multimillion dollar deal I had with Bally's, which they never gave any comic in history. So that's another first thing. And so I bring Bobby Lee to open for me.

So I lose a quarter million within, I don't know, an hour and a half of being there. You know what? I am stoned, of course, you know. So he's sitting, I remember he'd sit on the top of the couch in the room, you know, with his feet like on the cushions. And he's sitting there because he doesn't know what to do, you know. Like he just saw the guy that hired him lose a quarter million dollars. I said, Bobby, I'll get it back tomorrow. It's not really, don't even think about it. Serious, let's order some food type of thing.

And that's happened a bunch of times because any gambler that says he wins all the time is just lying to you. But what I always tell my girlfriend because i don't gamble anymore that i go i've gotten to do stuff that no that people dream of doing that you only see in movies when you see gambling movies you know i could remember one time also at bally's this is this is a good story um and wheels was my opening act you know wheels yeah sure okay so you know he's into coffee now wheels does all these different businesses he was catering for a while right yeah he did the

cannoli kings now he does parisi's coffee you know and it's incredible coffee. It's what I drink every day, you know. So we were talking about this recently that, so I'm doing Bally's and Wheels is the opener. And that was even one time I'm playing, Wheels is on stage at Bally's. I'm at Caesar's Palace wearing the Dice Rules jacket. Club Soda Kenny's with me and he's going, we really need to leave now.

You're on in 10 minutes. So it was a good night for me. I'm on stage now at Bally's 10 minutes later with $350,000 of chips in my pocket that I didn't even have time to. Winnings. Not even, you know, just all winnings. I didn't even have time to, winnings, not even, you know, just all winnings. So I lose, I'm with Wheels, and I lose the night before a couple hundred grand. And now we'd sit out at the pool.

I never became like a recluse. I wasn't going to live my life like that, you know, no matter how big I got in comedy. I got in the mall by myself. I got in the cleaners. I got in the grocery. Because that's what kept me normal, regular. Just the guy from Brooklyn that made it, you know. So we're out at the pool at Bally's. And I go, Wheels, you got any money on you? He goes, I got $20, you know. I go, yeah, that's enough. I go, let's go. We get in the cab. We go to the Mirage. All right.

So at the Mirage at that time, I only had, it was like a $75,000 credit. Okay. So they give me $75,000. And I had this dealer. I forgot this guy's name. And he's killing me because I play alone and I play. I could play the whole table if I want. So it's five thousand a hand. That's thirty thousand across the board.

And this guy's killing me. OK, but what bothered me is when they would hold the cards for me to cut. Let's say you're the player. The dealer goes like that instead of like that, that you could just find a spot and cut it. like that, instead of like that, that you could just find a spot and cut it. So when I was playing the dealer beating me, I asked the pit boss, this guy, do you mind if the dealer turns the cards to me

so I could cut? And wheels are sitting here and I'm sitting on this end. And he goes, yeah, sure, no problem, Dice. The guy would do it. Now they switched dealers and pit boss now this is the days where all the women you know i hate dice type of thing okay which they really didn't it was a small number but the press made it like a big number well the new pit boss was a woman and she was a dice hater and i say and the dealer's name was Archie. I remember because he was from

Louisiana. And I said to the pit boss, I go, Would you mind if Archie, you know, because I'm not in character, and I'm not on stage, I go, Would you mind if Archie turn the cards to me so I cut the cards? And she goes, No no we can't do that here i go well the other pit boss didn't have a problem with it and she goes well i do now i get mad now it's dice mean you know wheels get up and then remind me to tell you about Doug Allen. Okay. Just remember, write it down. I got it. I got it.

Don't worry. I got it. Doug Allen. Right after that, I'm going to tell you what happened because it's a great story. It's like a Rocky story, you know. So, wheels, get up. Sit here. I'm making a show out of it now.

And I go to the end of the table so I can lean across and cut the cards where I want. Wheels, get up. Go back to your seat. I go, let me tell you something, honey. Now I'm dice. I go, you're gonna be lucky if you have a job when I'm done here now. I go, because they're all watching.

I go, Archie, you see that last chip in the $5,000 lane? No, not the first lane, the second lane. That's yours. How does that sound? Nice tip? Because that would be great. I go, let's play cards. And I start playing. Two hands, three hands, six hands, and I'm just winning. But I'm not stacking the chips. I'm just throwing them like this. I don't even know what's there, right? He's down to the last two chips on the second row. And I go, all right, this is what I'm going to do. I go, honey, I want you to pay attention because I got a little thing I want to ask you. I go, I want a black jack, Archie.

I'm going to take the ace of spades and then I'm going to take the ace of spades, and then I'm going to take the queen of spades. Okay, that's how you're going to deal with it to me. Sweetheart, I don't know what shit pay they give you here for the 12 hours a day you got to put in, and I don't know what's here, but I'm sure it's more than what you make a week, you know, or a year, or maybe the next five years. But I'll bet all this that I pulled those cards exactly

the way I'm saying it against your pay what do you say and she goes we're not allowed to do that I go all right Archie give me the ace of spades and give it to me slowly because i make a sound effect noise i do it when i film which is this noise and there's the ace of spades i gotta tell you and this is a true story i don't see these stories are so unreal just gut i swear to god it my gut. So that's why I'll tell you, don't think I've never lost. I've lost a ton of fucking money. But I've won a ton. That's the beauty of it. Yeah, but you're not just guessing that you're going to blackjack.

You're guessing the actual cards. It's just a gut feeling. Did you ever do it again after that? No, wait, wait. Okay. So now I look at this woman, I go, I'll tell you what, same bet. Wait, wait. Okay.

So now I look at this woman. I go, I'll tell you what, same bet. If I don't pull the queen of spades, you win all that against your pay for the year. She goes, no. All right, Archie, let's not fuck around. Just give me the queen of spades. Boom.

There it is. Even Wheels couldn't believe it. And honestly, Joe, I'm sitting here here and i know millions of people listen to you i couldn't fucking believe it it just came out that way so now we pile it all up i walk out of that hotel 455 000 after giving them their 75 that's the profit and on the way back to the hotel because i make wheels carry the money in these like manila envelopes hey we're in a cab i go put your hand and grab a stack of money you know so he takes like ten thousand dollars you know and i go wasn't that worth twenty dollars you know what i mean

so that's one of the gambling stories but i always tell people about game I want to know why you thought those were gonna be the cards like what is that cuz I'm you think there's a moment there's moments in time where you just know things for some reason well I knew when I'd lose yeah of course it's like you know it's like there were just certain days it would get to the point, and I've done this, and I've done this in front of gangsters, that one guy said to me, he goes, throw the books away, you hear? Because I was calling every card coming out.

And I'm not a card counter. I don't even know math, really. So what do you think that is? And how many times have you been able to do that in your life? Is it just with cards or is it with other stuff too? I've done it with my career. I've done it with my career. What do you think that is?

Do you think it's a gift? It's just something, if you believe in God, and I'm not a religious guy in any way, but I believe I was put here, you know, and I always knew what I was supposed to be. You know, like I told you about Elvis when I was 12 years old. I didn't really talk about Gene Krupa or Buddy Rich with the drums or Ringo Starr. But I knew I was meant...

Like, when I'd be failing everything in school, I wouldn't even worry about it because I knew I was meant for much more. That's so interesting. It's almost like it was written. That's how I say it to people. I never felt that way, ever in my life. And if you want to hear something that – and I want to give you to Doug Allen and I want to talk to you about those videos.

Okay. Okay. You try not to forget that. Okay. So when I was really going through it with the press and they were really – I mean I couldn't turn on TV. I know it's not your life so you're not thinking about my life but I would see it every day. No, I thought about you when that was going on because I was like no one has his back. And there was no one in like media that had your back no no I don't

talk about Eddie Murphy all the time cuz Eddie came out on Arsenio he was the only one and said I don't know about what's going on I don't remember his work he goes but he's funny and I'm going to the forum to see him however he said it hmm you know he was the one guy. I remember driving down Green Cadillac convertible, Kelly Green, with my wife at the time, and she's going, somebody's yelling at you, Andrew. And it was Eddie Murphy in a little convertible Mercedes. He goes, pull the fucker.

And he gets out of his car on a side street near Crescent that I made a right turn before Melrose, and he pulls behind me, gets out of his car because he always liked me at the comedy store. He'd walk away from this before I made it. He'd walk away from his entourage, you know, just to talk to me. He loved what I did. He gets out of his car. I go, don't let them fuck with you. He goes, I see how they're doing. Don't let them get to you. I see what they're doing. I mean, and he really had my back that way, but nobody else did.

Every other comic opening their fucking mouth from Jay Leno to George fucking Carlin. And I go, and of course, when they come face to face with me, kiss my ass, apologize. That's how these fucking guys were. That's why I get angry now even. Because, you know, I like guys like Leno. I think I'll even say it now. I think he's one of the funniest guys out there. But what a dickhead.

Like, he used to stand leaning against your motorcycle before I ever made it. You know, talking to me all the time. And then the day I took off and got bigger than any comic you ever heard of i'm no fucking good you're gonna what did he say he would say he said things number one you got a picture on the first guy on the cover of penthouse magazine he's got the picture somewhere uh that bob guccione called me up and said i want to he goes the only other guy that's ever been on the cover was me. You're going to be the first man on the cover of Penthouse. You know, whenever he finds it,

there it is. Right. And what's funny is, I think that's 90. And actually one of those girls were pregnant at that time, which is four months pregnant. And he goes, I'm going to put you on the cover. And then he tried it with other guys like you know i don't want to name names but it didn't sell like this sold so he stopped doing it he thought he was going to start a trend when he put me and then he had me again did a whole photo shoot with me in suits i stayed at his house in manhattan he had a a townhouse. Judy Garland's gold piano. You walk into this place. He's with his wife. Over the railing, there's a

pool inside the house. He put me in what he called the black room. The whole room was black with the mirrored fucking ceilings, the red bathroom. It looked like the comedy store. And then all the girls were staying there and we did a whole photo shoot.

That's the second time I was in Penthouse. But they did a whole interview on me, and that was, I forgot what Jay said, but I got him at the improv, which I hardly ever go to, because the comedy store was my place, and that's where I belong. See, I always looked at the improv like, oh, these are the nice boys. And that's okay. I think Seinfeld's one of the greatest comics ever. He's a Long Island nice guy.

You know what I mean? I'm an animal. I always was an animal. You know? I got my face bashed in. I was beat up by gangs. I was put in fucking hospitals with my face split open. All kinds of shit. Million fights.

You know, I'm not like those guys. I'm from Brooklyn, New York, and I love that. So I get in Leno's face and I go, where do you come off saying a fucking word about me? I go, now you're standing in front of me. And I go, and next time you see me, there be no talk you know and that's how it would go with these

guys what did he say Oh pussy it out like they all would you know George Collin met him up at the Stern Show after he bad-mouthed me on Larry King you know I'm sorry I said any of that I was sort of just going with the snowball effect I couldn't even tell you what you do on stage I go great you're a prick the fuck out of my way I hated these guys

so he just piled on because it was the zeitgeist the girl that fucking zero from Saturday Night Live Nora whatever her fucking name was that walked off Saturday Night Live. Who's that? Nora, whatever her fucking name was, that walked off Saturday Night Live when I hosted it, okay? So, Nora, this is hilarious. I don't even want to do Saturday Night Live.

I was never a Saturday Night Live freak. You know, I think it's a great show, but I was busy doing an act, you know? Right. So so i get a call ford fairlane's coming out you want to host saturday night live my father's like i think it's a smart move sonny boy so no that's you know how he was he right sandy gallen biggest manager in hollywood but i didn't make a move till my father said move you know and um so i come up to saturday night live i'm waiting i'm waiting i'm waiting oh and then here comes uh calvin klein's daughter to bring me into lawn okay i

sit down just like me and you and lawn goes yeah it's been a rough day you know i go alright yeah alright you know he goes yeah you know Nora walked off the show I forget her name all the time her last name I go well you know

what are you gonna do right cause I don't right and he goes she walked off cause of you so I go I go

Lauren I don't know who she is did I do something to her he goes no she doesn't want you on the show so she's boycotting the show and that was news all week right and the real story is her contract done oh okay so yeah the real reason was that her contract was up in two weeks and he wasn't going to renew it. He didn't want to no more. That's it. So that was her way of getting back at him because the most controversial comic ever really is hosting this. I'm going to walk off and cause a problem. I'm going to walk off and cause a problem.

And then Sinead followed in suit, but Sinead apologized when she went on Arsenio. She goes, if I knew what I knew then, my management talked me into walking off because this girl Nora did. You know, she was supposed to be the musical guest. And, yeah, it was a rough time. My mother used to say, she goes, they come after you more than they go after OJ. She really meant it. And it was unbelievable because anytime I turn on TV.

Well, it certainly seems like that because it's you though, you know? No, no, but it was that. I could turn on Regis and- Well, you were a cultural hot button and there was, again, there was no internet back there to have your back. Yeah, but it's not like it went on for six months either. No, it went on for years. That MTV thing went on for years.

You were the whipping boy when it came to what they would call blue comedy. But the thing was, would you take the cigarettes? Or offensive comedy. No, they're right there. Your cigarettes are right in front of your coffee cup. Oh, that's what I'm saying. See, I told you I had a cataract taken. Oh.

Yeah. How bad did that fuck with your vision? It fucks with it. That's why I'm always in sunglasses. The light fucks with it. It's really helped it, but it fucks with it. So you're saying you quit twice? Yeah. And then you didn saying you quit twice yeah and then you didn't smoke for how long so i didn't smoke for 10 years then when my father was supposedly going to pass away i was

with eleanor playing a club in virginia i was standing on this corner with like five different roads with cars going i just bought a pack and started smoking. Wow. So that went on for like another six years. Then when I was turning 60, I had a heart attack. I didn't even know I'm having one. And it was in Vegas. And, you know, they put a stent in. And I just stopped that day. I just like, I didn't need any kind of patch or shot.

Just stopped smoking. Why do you carry them still? But it's the same with gambling. I just like, here, we're having a conversation. You have one in your hand. I love it. I do love holding cigarettes. Even when I do concerts, they have to have two packs in the dressing room.

That's hilarious. But I never light them. I don't get the urge to light them. What if someone lights one around you? Are you okay with that? I couldn't care less. Really? You want to smoke?

Smoke. I just don't want the smoke. Right. And I always loved exercise, and I learned how to train my own body. Everybody's got a different body. Through Sly Stallone's guy when I was doing Ford Fairlane, George Pippasek is his name. And George was Mr. Czechoslovakia for four years. And when steroids came into the business back then, he just quit.

And he had a body like Tarzan. he just quit he didn't he and he had a body like tarzan and he moved to america built his own gym and every machine in it on olympic boulevard and when my career took off i became good friends with sly and i met george at his house and george taught me how to train my own body you know and i've always stuck to every any and it always just can I stop you for a second what the fuck was going on with that one interview where you went on some news show I don't know if it was CNN CNN okay that was one of the most ridiculous things can we please play that it's one of my favorite when I was gonna get you know we'll get to talk and the video we'll get to anything this is let's start from the beginning put the headphones on this is one of my favorite Dice videos. We're never going to get to Doug Allen. We'll get to Doug Allen. And the videos. We'll get to anything.

Let's start from the beginning. Put the headphones on. This is one of my favorite videos. Let's talk a little bit about where your career has been. Where your career has been. You, of course, you were a headline guy. I'm still a headline guy. You know what I mean?

For a while, you popped out. Now you're coming back. For a while, you were actually running a gym. Tell us about that. Running a gym? Weren't you running a gym at some point? You're supposed to be a news guy. What are you getting your fucking information?

That's our research. You aren't. This is ridiculous. I come on CNN, and the guy don't even know what he's talking about. Go ahead. You had no point. Were you running a gym? No, no.

Running a gym? What, you need to work out or something? Jesus fucking Christ. With these guys. I come on the news for two seconds, and every time I do an interview, a guy wants to open his fucking mouth. Can't even do a little fucking routine here. You know what?

Go fuck yourself. You know what? Go fuck the whole fucking network. We'll go back to talking about Art Carney. Well, whatever happened to that guy? That guy was so good at his job. Gone. CNN is so good at hiring people.

You know, just gone. They're the best. And he deserved it. That was just so ridiculous. You know where I was the next night? Where? Sold out. Beacon Theater. I sold out the beacon about 20-something times.

I couldn't even tell you how many. And it's like like why is this guy what and i and i remember doing interviews about it back then going what was it his mom he doesn't like me no that's how i felt no i'll tell you what it is from the outside there was like a cultural narrative and the cultural narrative is if you're a good guy you hate that guy and you don't think that's funny. You don't think the things he says are funny. And again, I bring it to all other kinds of fiction,

whether it's movies. I like violent films and violent books. I enjoy them. I don't know why. I like them. I don't think that's really happening. I don't think that's really happening i don't think that's real like is it is it exactly that people getting shot is uh is entertainment for people i don't know it's up to you but no

one's really getting shot so what the fuck are you worried about it's like equalizer but the thing is like don't you don't have to like it that's the thing it's like for some reason it became like a hot button cultural issue like where your comedy was this character was demeaning and it was going to cause other people to be demeaning too but my my thought was is it going to cause you to be demeaning is our jokes going to cause you to be demeaning to people is that really possible so then who are we talking about we talking about kids and is that what's that on is that on the parents is that on the teachers is that on the kids or is that on dice to raise your kids you know what is that number one i just think

you know we've been so held back now like comedians for the most part are just being held back because comedians as lenny bruce put it and I don't even study comics, we're supposed to be a mirror of what's going on in the world and say things what's going on in a funny way. That's all comedy is supposed to be. You know, depending on how hard you want to get about it, well, that's up to the actual individual comic. Yeah. But to put cuffs on comedians in 2023 is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. Well, this is the time where it's important to make fun of things because things get real serious that shouldn't get that serious. Because you're not allowed to express. You're not allowed to express. Not allowed to fuck around. When people have to, you know, I watch these shows with my girlfriend,

let me tell you something, I keep saying it, but, you know, this is a girl that's been through a lot with me. She's been through the palsy phase. She's the one giving me hot rags last night in the hotel with the hot rags on my face because as normal as I look, okay, the muscles are tight, you know, and it's fucked up. Okay. And how long ago was it? This is, she would know better than me. I don't know if it's a year. It's a year in July. I think somebody could ask her. It's either a year or two years that I'm

dealing with this, but I refuse to back up. You understand? I refuse to just fold. I've been like this my whole life. Whatever goes wrong, have a heart attack? Okay. Stop smoking that day. Just start working out like an animal.

And, you know, you work out way different than me. I've seen you kick in the bags. I've seen you work. I mean, I give it up to you with that stuff. But even if I do crunches, I do sets of 100. So I'll do six, 700 a day just to start the workout after I do some cardio. It's all about repetition to me and just staying as good as I could feel. If I don't feel that good in my chest because I'm paranoid because I had a heart attack, when I'm in the gym and I'm pumping the weight, doing the chest work, I go, all right, you're okay. Because I was taught a long time ago by a cardiologist, the heart is a muscle.

And if the heart can't handle it, won't let you do it it's that simple and even when i got my heart attack i'll never forget the minute i was told i could exercise a little i went up runyon canyon because i was either going to make it to the top of the canyon or not you know i'm not willing to live my life in fear. You know, fear stops people from doing all kinds of things they want to do. Even going after a career, you know, so I just refuse to do that. And yeah, if I got to feel some tightness in my face, I'll feel it. Do they know what caused it? I'll feel it if I know what caused it um stress all stress related they said you know and stress is a very real thing you know there's a lot of very real things my my bills for the longest time were 50,000 a month for probably 30 years of

the last 35 that's just the overhead right Right. You know? Very stressful. You know, I've gone through a ton of marriages, you know? So thank God I cheated on all of them, you know? Yeah, because I don't want to cheat on a girlfriend. Because there's nothing at stake. Right. You know? What's she going to do, pack a bag and leave? You cheat on a wife, you could lose houses, money, alimony.

There's a lot, you know what I mean? So, yeah, I've enjoyed that process. Actually, the only two girls I never cheated on in my life, and I take a lot of pride when I say this, is because, you know, Eleanor is my opening act. Yes. And also, to me, one of the strongest, I can't even call her a girl comic because she's so great up there.

She's fantastic. She is, to me, one of the best comics I've ever worked with. Eleanor was the funny waitress for the longest time. And we've told the story. I told the story when she came on the podcast. She was the person that I always go to. If someone new in town, I go, hey, did you see their set? She'd go, ah, they're kind of hacky.

She never puts the fun. Every comic in the world has her number. I just couldn't stand it. See, people got to understand. She was first my friend, then, you know, like an ex-fiance now. And then she started doing stand-up. And the first time I put her on stage, she was off stage in four minutes. The crowd didn't even let her get going.

put her on stage she was off stage in four minutes that the crowd didn't even let her get going uh it was at westbury music fair and anybody else would have quit the business from that humiliating was that her first set ever yeah and i screamed at that crowd i hated them for that because it's like this is my opener you know what i mean have some fucking respect i didn't even want to go on you know well not only that but to be your opener and for to have that be your first time ever on stage that's insane but she didn't stop and what she's not doing three four sets a night yeah to this day she hustles to this day she's at the the mothership too there isn't a crowd i've seen her bomb in front of she kills every time all the time time. My other favorite opener was Jim Norton, that the first time he opened for me, and I put her right next to him, you know, as

my two favorite openers ever. Because I actually got, when we were in Canada recently, so I only normally do one show a night, because I don't want to rush the crowd out. They pay a high ticket price to see me. So I like giving them time. I like digging into the bits and coming up with stuff and it's not the day to laugh to die. I want to kill them. I want them to walk out and go I never saw anybody like this.

He's better today than he was 30 fucking years ago. Well we got a chance to see you, me and Norton and a couple other folks. Anthony and who else was with us? Yeah, you're famous. We got to see you at the Riviera. That was very nostalgic for me because I loved that place. I think, oh, I loved the Riv.

There wasn't that many. I think you were one of the last shows there before they shut down. I think they demolished it. Didn't they demolish Riviera? Yeah, they took it down. Hey, I got to get out of here soon. So do you wanna play some of these videos and tell me what led you to these fucking insane videos? You talked about the day the laughter died.

Yes. Okay, that's on an album. Right. All right, so all the years, people come over, Dice, can I get a picture? Right, right, right. And it's good to meet people that are fans of yours and now and then I put one up in these videos.

But I was like, why don't I just do The Day the Laughter Died live? I don't look for the fan. I look for the guy that runs away from me. I'm telling you, we're doing pitches now on a whole show based on the day the laughter died, you know, which is called The Famous Face. Because I could come over to anybody. I love it. There was a girl in Florida. I don't know if we have her.

And these are people that don't know me. You know, there's nothing better than failing with a fan where they're looking at you going I won't what it plays some of them we got a ton of it yeah but put the headphones on so yeah I got a I want to see what I sent you even really joey from christian singles how you going i don't think so joey what all right hold that for a minute i'm gonna tell you about that okay so i do like to come up with like joey from christian single now that woman's at a bus stop waiting for a bus go to brooklyn so i know these are brooklyn people and i know this woman has been dealing with guys like joey her whole fucking life so i know before i even and i'm with my girlfriends

in the background like we look for targets i call them That I'm looking at this woman, and I'm like, watch this. Watch this. I know she's going to hate me. But her response was so quick. That's how quick people are when they grow up like that. The minute I said, Rita, Joey from Christian Singh, the speed of her just looking at me. You just know she, I don't think so Joey

you know what I mean show it again show that one again I love that that's one of my favorites there is something magical about those people and you gotta have guts to go over to people trust me they're fucking strangers let's find another one cause we gotta wrap this up

find another one we don't have to play this but I enjoy these deeply some of them are so uncomfortable cause they go for so long Let's find another one because we're going to wrap this up soon. Okay, let's find another one. Let's find another one. We don't have to play the second one. But I enjoy these deeply. Some of them are so uncomfortable because they go for so long. Oh, this guy's great. This is in L.A. This is called a show. All right, I don't normally do this, but you guys seem like good guys. Yeah.

All right, you ready? Yeah. Funny. Omar the hubby went to the cupboard to get her old dog a bone, right? Yeah. She bent over. Oh, sorry. Right?

Yeah. You know. Yeah, well, I was listening. Sorry. No, like the bone of her own. The bone of her own. The bone of her own. What do you want me to do? All right.

Give him a third one. Give him a third one, please. I love these so much. They're so uncomfortable. Oh, this guy looks amazing. This guy looks amazing. Oh, no. No, no.

Play that one, though. Play that one. This is great. Okay. I don't believe it. Billy. Play that one. This is great. Okay. I don't believe it. Billy, how you doing? This is so... Billy Joel! Give me a hug.

This is so... Because I never got to see you in concert. You know what I mean? So this is like a troll to me. I don't know. And like... I only need three songs from you tonight. I know you're going to do a lot, but...

Like, Just The Way We Was, that's one of them, right? And, uh, the Uptown Girl thing, and, um... Oh, how we, uh... You know, the rain, we made it through the rain that day. Huh? No, what? That ain't me. What do you mean, that ain't me?

That's not my stuff. We made it through... No, that's Barry Malone. No, I'm just saying. I know, you're just saying, but it ain't me. No, I'm just going to go sit and wait. You know what I mean? Thanks for your time.

You don't do that ever? No, like, for no reason. Did he get mad at you for that? Do you see like the girl? Who's the girl? That girl to the right. Watch. Okay.

Joey Pineapple from Christian Singles. Read it. Joey Pineapple from Christian Singlesian look at the glasses but so what happens on on the internet is that the fans my real fans get really pissed off at these people going how do new yorkers not fucking know that this is Dice? Well, you're in a costume. Well, look at the glasses. It's like a windshield.

Yeah. You can't even see your face. But also, now and then, I do put up a real fan because, you know, I can't have people think nobody knows me. You know what I mean? And so I, like, destroy my own career by doing this. So we're trying to sell that show. So I just wanted to tell you about with Doug Ellum because it meant –

because of these shots I've had in my life that, like I said, he was getting ready to do. And trust me, none of these people asked me to talk about – I'm talking about it because it meant the world to me and because we've talked about my acting. I'm talking about it because it meant the world to me and because we've talked about my acting, you know. And so when they were doing the last, this is why I told you how great I thought you were. When they were doing the last season of Entourage, I meet with Doug at the Soho house. And he goes, listen, he goes, tell me what's been going on in your life. I haven't seen you a lot, you know.

And I told him it's been tough. That was a really down time. I never hurt for making a living because of all the millions of people I entertain. So there's always a core audience. But I wasn't up there where I was at top of mind type of thing. So he goes, listen to me. He goes, I'm just going to tell you the truth. I remember where I was when the Dangerfield special aired.

He goes, to me, you're the greatest comic ever, hands down. He goes, I'm giving you the last season of Entourage. And he goes, and that's going to air and wait till you see, because he knew that I loved acting. He goes, wait till you see because he knew that I loved acting he goes wait till you see where your career goes and the minute that thing it it was like the Rodney special number one I did a special right after it called indestructible that I had my sons that have still rebel band you know opened the show and they got to play one of their songs and they were phenomenal.

And I know we're wrapping up, but they're called It's Still Rebel Band. People could go and look at them, but they're great musicians. And so that was a thrill to do the special with my family and have Eleanor open and bring them on and they bring me on. And from that, here comes Woody Allen. Did you, would Woody Allen ever think of giving Dice a movie? And everybody thought I was going to be nominated for this movie with Cate Blanchett and Sally Hawkins and Bobby Cannavale. That's how we became friends.

So I started working and doing what I originally set out to do in the acting field all the way to working with Scorsese the greatest and then the biggest thing I did was A Star is Born with Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga and you know I you know I would just say I'm finally after all everything I've gone through all these fights and because I didn't back down from it and I did go after it and I'm not trying even though I love the Rocky movies it is true that you have to push forward and not back up and not just oh woe is me type of fucking thing and go after the dream and believe in it. And I've gotten to work with the greatest actors, actresses, directors, all the way to date,

even doing, you know, working with Sebastian Stan in the new, when they did the Pam and Tommy series on Hulu recently. And I'm going, this was the dream. That was the dream. Not the stand-up. That was something I just started getting good at working on myself. So even- If you had to choose between one or the other, you would take the actor.

Right now? Yeah. I would choose stand-up because I have been having see I do two types of shows I play, you know I do the big stages still like Atlantic City I'm booked for all those I'm doing, because Diaz he does Sony Hall

so I'm doing two shows there in June I just don't know the exact I think 16th and 17th of June I'm going to Hawaii but my favorite shows are the club dice shows, like I'm doing for you tomorrow, you know, because that's how it all started. And the fans coming to see that are fans that did sit in the shitty seats,

you know, in section 200, where I'm the size of an ant, and they're going, all right, so, you know, for 100 bucks, I could come in, grab a couple beers, and sit 20 feet away from Dice and watch him work, you know? And I just love it so much, and I feel I'm better at stand-up than I've ever been in my life because I got 45 years' experience. Yeah.

Like, even even you know when starbucks started the whole thing about plastic this fucking asshole who built a career mr star i think that's what i was doing at the riv you know when i said just talk about what people understand yeah you know talk about getting older talk about waking up you can't feel your fucking feet you open your eyes and you go, my fucking neck. Fuck that guy with the pillow. You know,

and I go, talk about what people relate to. So when that happened and I'm going, no more plastic straws. What about the cup? I go, the fish are good with the cup, but you know,

somehow my straw was choking Moby fucking dick to death, you know, and I'm eating cardboard out of the cup but you know somehow my straw is choking moby fucking dick to death you know and i'm eating cardboard out of the cup now so it's just real stuff people relate to like when i talk about the sex and i'm not going to go into routines but i'm just saying being real on stage so you what are you saying is you're having fun. I'm having a blast with this. Beautiful. And I'm doing too much, actually. Where are you working out primarily? All over the country. You're just showing places and just going out?

Yeah, I just did Edmonton. I just did Minneapolis. I just did Arizona. Right, that's where you're performing. I'm going to Dallas next. Are you working out anywhere? Are you going up at the store? No, because I've been in New York mostly.

So sometimes I stop in at the Cellar. But I'm working and doing so many fucking shows with Eleanor. I mean, it's just like, look at this hotel room. You know, it's every city, the hotel. That's what I can't take, the travel. You know what I mean? And I do deal with a lot with the fucking palsy face. And like I said, it looks good, but it bothers.

The stiffness, you know, gets to me. And, you know, you go to a town, you want to work out. Well, there's a gym in the hotel. I mean, your gym is one thing, you know, but I like to have the routine, you know, but I love entertaining the people and I love, you know, like I said, I love the club dice shows. I love the concerts. But, you know, and I'm not doing I'll do up to, I don't know, 2,500 seats will be about the max I'll do, you know, but 300 seaters, 200 seaters, the best. I could go for two hours in those places, you know, because the audience is eating up.

Like, I could imagine, you know, I know he's gone, but if Elvis was alive and doing little concerts, you know, in 500 seats, I'd be there. Yeah. I'd want to see that. Well, I think all the best comics agree that doing the clubs is kind of important. It's everything. You can't just do big places.

There's something about doing the clubs. There's an intimacy. There's a lack of bullshit. Joey, let me— It tightens up your material. I'm going to tell you, when I was doing all those arenas, and I know you do them now, I started getting claustrophobic, right? After about three years, it was hard to take. So I get a call because I became great friends with Axl Rose and Guns N' Roses.

So Axl calls me, and he's talking like common sense to me. Because he goes, I want you to open for me at the Rose Bowl in between Metallica and us. You know, I need you to open the show. And I'm like, you know, I love you. You're going to kill it. I go, I can't do that anymore. I go, it's too many people. He goes, Dice, you just come out and look at the sky.

It'll be great. And this is Axl, who's been called Nutty, you know, talking common sense. I go, you're right, it's outside. Now, you're talking about a show that was 104, over 100,000 people, 104,000. A little more than that. And Metallica just did two hours. And I'm backstage with the camera. And the cameras were big back then.

And I'm filming Slash. And he looks up, you know, and he goes, who's behind the camera? I go, it's Dice. He goes, you know, I was just thinking, like, what are you going to say when you go out there? I go, oh, that's really helping man 104,000 people let me tell you number one it was one of the greatest moments of my entire career you know and I walked out to a queen we will rock you so the drum beats playing you know boom boom the minute I walked out I could have done two hours. The whole stadium stood up for me.

I got to chill. It was unreal. And afterwards, they have after parties that are bigger than most concerts. And it's always a theme. And it was Casablanca, OK, with a 16-piece orchestra. And I would always tease Matt Surum about about you're a good drummer but you know you play rock and roll that's pretty simple basic shit you know and uh but i would tease him because he's obviously a great great rock drummer and uh and all axl wanted to do after the show was just

hang with me and sit at a little table with him and my girl and his girl. And Serum is over there. And I go, all right, all right, let's put this all to rest. And I go over to the band, which is a big, you got Marilyn Monroe's walking around, Humphrey Bogart's walking around, you know, and I go over to the band leader and I go, do you have the chart for Sing, Sing, Sing, which is a Benny Goodman song that the drums play a big part. I'm sure you know the song, right? So there's a big drum solo in that, like a tom-tom big thing. And I get behind the set and I go nuts on the solo, like real on the tom-tom like Gene Krupa type of drumming and afterwards I come over and I hand Sirum the sticks and I go show me when you could

do that because I'm playing the entire arrangement by heart the whole band is reading it off the chart I just know the song and I know how it goes. And to experience that kind of moment is unreal, you know, and then, you know, I don't think you would know this, but I was very, I helped put that band back together. That's why they're out there. Really? My son, Max, when he started playing drums, he was 11 years old. At 15 he goes, Dad, you know,

because he knew I was close with the band. He goes, you know you're the only one that could put that band back together. I go, why? Why me? He goes, because you don't gain anything. I go, what do you mean? He goes, you don't want anything. And I didn't do you mean? He goes, you don't want anything.

And I didn't, you know. I said, well, we'll see, maybe one day. So now, years later, I'm touring Australia. And the minute I got there, at the hotel I was staying at, there's Slash having breakfast and sitting out on the porch, on the rooftop of this, whatever city I was in in Australia that I landed in, the main city. Sydney? Sydney.

So I come over behind him. I go, yeah, because I was still smoking back then. Mind if I smoke? He goes, yeah. And he goes, nice. And he gets all excited and we start talking. So now it gets to a part he says i said so uh what happened with the band why is it what are you doing here he goes well i'm playing the star

spangled banner at the uh football game today and i look at him i go really that's what you did a 17-hour flight for? I go, that's big. And he goes, what's wrong with that? I go, you had the greatest rock band in the world. What happened? He goes, well, I did hear Axl's been showing up for his shows at the Hard Rock. I said, yeah, I closed the last one for him. I opened the last one for him at the joint in Vegas. And I go, so wait a minute. So you mean to tell me this band is not together? Millions of new fans, forget the old fans, don't get to hear the band because probably one of the top three greatest front men ever

shows up late for some of the shows. And that's why you took a 17 hour fucking flight to play their fucking national anthem like an asshole. And he starts laughing. Okay. So now I'm in it. I come back to the States. I come back to the States. I called Duff, who I was more friendly with than the whole band,

and asked him to come check out my sons on Burbank Boulevard. They were playing a club. And so he comes with his wife. And the band was really tight at that time. This was before pandemic, you know. And he stayed through the whole set because let me tell you something with a rock star if they don't like what they're hearing we got to get home we got a babysitter you know the deal yeah if you see a shit comic i i gotta go i gotta be up six right

more okay he turns around to me he goes they're ready you know he loved the band that's awesome and he's sitting this close to where my son Dylan is playing lead guitar and singing, which Dylan couldn't get past. It was amazing. I wouldn't be able to do it, you know. The next day, we go to Starbucks. It's me, him, Tom Mayhew, who was the road manager,

and my son Max, who's the drummer in our band. So we're talking about the next move to put G&R back together. So Tom is like, well, the thing is, every time Slash puts out a tweet, it's always condescending.

I said, well, that's what's got to get fixed because Duff was all in. You you know he's just a regular great guy one of the greatest bass players i love him and um so now slash puts out the tweet that axl's one of the greatest you know next thing you know i'm at the troubadour with my sons and the VIPs in their first show ever where Axl, you know Broke his ankle during that show and kept going. Nobody knew he broke it You know, he fell off the the fucking speaker that he stands on but it always just brings me a lot of joy That they put that band back together because they're so incredible. You know, it's like millions of people. That's them.

That's the troubadour. Yeah, I was at that show. I was in the balcony. We could all thank Dice. You know? Well, the only one I ever talked to about was Rolling Stone. I never needed, you know,

really people to know that. I just get a lot of joy because my sons know. Listen, it's great. I'm a giant fan. They're fucking awesome. Yeah. They were fucking awesome.

That was my favorite lifting music. Exactly. Welcome to the jungle. Exactly. Jungle, Paradise City. Oh, my God. So many. Sweet Child of Mine.

Come on, man. They had some jams. Yeah. Dice, I got to wrap this up. All right. Let's wrap it up. I got to get out of here. I appreciate you.

I love you very much. Thank you for coming here. Let's go. I got to leave, too. Dice Clay, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. Me and Jerry are going to go eat something. All right, let's wrap it up. I got to get out of here. I appreciate you. I love you very much. Thank you for coming here. Let's go. I got to leave too. Dice Clay, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, me and Jerry are going to go eat. All right.

Bye, everybody. Take care.