The Joe Rogan Experience - #200 - Duncan Trussell

Episode Date: March 28, 2012

Joe sits down with Duncan Trussell.

You podcast my night, my day! Duncan. There's some rustling going on right now. I'm trying to find my alpha brain. If you were on a desert island, you would make alpha brain out of mermaid. A mermaid pussy? Dried scrapings? On the inside of a mermaid's pussy?

Imagine that! pussy dried scrapings on the inside of a mermaid's pussy imagine that but they say the myth of the mermaid came from horny sailors trying to rationalize fucking seals of course fucking everything manatees manatees yeah they'd fuck a manatee because they were so horny and they would then they'd be like no it's a mermaid i swear what kind of a crazy asshole would commit back then to getting in a goddamn boat and going across the ocean for like four months a lot of times not even knowing if there was some shit on the other end yeah thinking it might just stop like they thought the world just ended in their waterfall that's how bad europe sucked in the 1400s that columbus was like yeah maybe it does fall off let's go bitches come on i'm gonna forever? Look what the fuck we're eating. Look at the streets we're living in. People stink.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They were so upset with Europe. They were like, fuck this. We're just going to get in a boat and go to someplace. I mean, we're not even looking at it really truly in perspectives because here's something that was really rare back then.

Any one-on-one accounts of someone who went there that liked it forget about pictures they didn't have pictures back then would you see some drawings no you didn't even talk to one guy probably that went over there himself and had a wonderful and prosperous life and was telling you listen there's land to be had it's's a great time. Come on over. I mean, what a great mass of movement of humans in such a short period of time. The population of the North American continent. You know, and the fact that there was already a small group of nomadic people that were living here,

and they were just completely overwhelmed by the volume and the numbers. I think there was a lot of them in North America. I think there was a lot of them in North America. I think there was a lot of Native Americans and indigenous people. When you say a lot, was there like millions? Let me say even if there was a lot, it's nothing in comparison to what it is like right now. There's never been population numbers like this anywhere, right? Has there ever been a place where there was virtually no one,

and then immigrants all came in, and then within a few hundred years there was 300 million of them? Nope. No, right? I mean, unless it was pre-flood before the last meteor impact or something like that. I wonder how many Native Americans there were before they were killed and pushed back.

That must have been unbelievable for them. The people that had lived their lives a certain way before the first white men came. It must have been preposterous. Probably generation after generation, they had followed the buffalo, and they had lived this very disciplined and spiritual, sort of in tune with the with nature and their environment and they had you know very clear laws of morality and how you deal with nature and how you use up your resources really fascinating like you could tell that they had a

deep reverence and a real understanding for the resources of the environment and not taking too much not wasting anything because you might not have it, man. They were under a real concern about starving to death. If they didn't get up in the morning and follow the buffalo, they lost those motherfuckers. If they have no food for a few weeks, your baby can die, man. You might just fuck up and run into time the season's wrong

and run into some place where you're stuck chasing these buffalo in a place that gets snowed in and there's no food. Oh, yeah. Not to mention the fact that bears are eating you. You can get eaten by a bear. For real. That's a real worry for you. Yeah, especially if you're in the woods

and you fuck up and stumble upon its mother, a mother and the cubs. Forget it. They're fucking monsters. I mean, think about how aggressive people are around their babies you know you're dealing with a giant thousand pound fucking dog essentially it's like a big mean dog it's a dog with thick skin those things have such thick fucking skin they bite themselves they don't even hurt themselves yeah you ever seen them go to war

with each other oh yeah yeah they're taking know, chunks of hairs are flying and shit like that and they're fine. They're fine. Just bit the fuck out of each other. Bit each other, clawed each other to the scratch. They literally would have dismembered our weak and gelatinous like bodies. In a second. Just torn them apart like they're nothing.

Just crunched through your skull. Yeah. What a shit life it must have been back then. Bad life, man. I mean, the American Indians on one hand, you can say

there was a lot of satisfaction in that life and they probably were happier than the majority of people today. I think that's really arguable.

But that's just the majority of people there are weak-ass bitches. It's not that today isn't way more awesome. And people get confused in that sometimes. People go,

you know what? People were happier back when that sometimes. People go, you know what? People were happier back when they couldn't read. Did you know that? People were happier. People were happier back when they just had grunts and everybody knew what they had to do. That doesn't mean back then doesn't suck and today isn't awesome. It just means that today is so uber complex that a lot of people just don't even try. They just go, I can't do it.

And they just throw it down on the ground and they run away because yeah there's no mechanism to really take care of that like back then if you threw yourself on the ground you died i'm not doing this a fucking barrel it eats you a bobcat would eat you your enemies would kill you you'd starve to death now you can really get a lot of like weird like weepy you can be really weepy and scared with very little effect. But the effect is like, but you still get an effect. I mean, the effect is that... Well, sure, you never progress, but you don't have to worry about getting eaten outside your house.

You're not going to get eaten. Yeah. The reason why people develop character, the reason why people develop consequences, because there are consequences for not having those things. Right. There's consequences for not having character. There's consequences for not having confidence, for not having control over your environment,

for not being a fucking man. There are consequences. But what are they really? They're pretty meager. Some other guy fucks your girlfriend. She leaves you for someone who's more powerful. You lose your metal box, and you have to get an older metal box that someone has already lived in. Right. What is it? They they take your car away you get a new car

you have to move to a shitty apartment well it's what what what is it really happening the cumulative effect of everything that you're saying means that you're living in hell well you're a bitch is what it's it's pointing out that you're a bitch but my point is even with the shittier new car you know the the less cool car older car, in the shitty apartment, you're still living a billion times better than anybody did when they were, you know, Lewis and Clark were hitchhiking their way across the fucking country, walking. No. Horses and shit.

They didn't know what the fuck was going on. That was a ridiculous thing to do. You're living pretty much everyone is living a life that's very similar to Roman nobility. You've got running water. You can just go and turn the water on. And take a hot shower. It heats it up. That's a brand new thing.

You've got a microwave. You can cook your food in two minutes. Have you seen those new water heaters where it's a constant flow of hot water. It heats it instantly. You don't have to have like giant tanks of water the water goes through it and instantly heats it up so you could take a shower for an hour and a half and you'll never run out of hot water yeah so you you're living in paradise you're you're not living back in the day when you wanted to kill fleas on your

clothes you would put it over the toilets. Did you know about that in the castles? In the castles, if you got the, so everything was flea infested back then. Everything was flea infested. There's fleas fucking everywhere. No way to clean. No way to, no poison for the fleas. So everything's swarming with fleas.

And so your clothes would get filled with fleas. And to get rid of the fleas in a castle they would put the clothes over the shaft where the sewer is because the ammonia would rise up through the clothes and kill the fleas in the clothes oh my god that's the world you're living in you're washing your clothes in shit fumes so they had to take those clothes and they had to all walk around smelling like shit fumes. But that's better than the fleas, man. That's better than the fleas.

I'd rather smell like old diarrhea. Who was the first one to figure that out? It's like, there's got to be a way to get these fucking things off me. Let's try lighting myself on fire. Nope, that doesn't work. That just kills me. Let's try running through the frozen river. Nope, now I have hypothermia.

Shit. Shit. What about shit? Shit fumes. Nobody likes shit shit fumes nobody likes shit i run away from shit let's see who's let's play chicken with shit smell uh see who who quits first who taps first the human being you could get burned at the stake if you took a shower more than twice a year like if you were taking like three or four showers a year people might get suspicious like you sure take a lot of showers well they also be like why are you so clean

why do you smell that are you a witch only witches smell good yeah when you sure take a lot of showers. Well, they also be like, why are you so clean? Why do you smell that? Are you a witch? Only witches smell good. Yeah, when you like take a warm shower, and then you climb into some like really soft cotton clothes, and you're like, you're feeling better than most humans have ever felt in their whole life. That's like a deeper sense of pleasure. You plop down in your soft and comfortable bed and for you know for a real reason you're not scared of getting eaten by anything nope you're not scared of you know monsters or tribes coming into your town and raiding your village you know you have to worry about shit famine yeah oh yeah yeah you're just chilling maybe sometimes you get colds and then you know you get a z-pack yeah hey you're fucking fine yeah you know you sitting in

front of a television with a with avatar playing say and you're sitting propped up on your pillows and you're wearing clean clothes you have it better than anyone who's ever lived ever by a long shot could you imagine lewis and clark if you could show those motherfuckers the average you know 23 year old dude who lives in some shitty apartment, who's propped up on his bed, watching TV in his bedroom while his roommate's fucking loud in the other room with a blender. Like, that guy's living in paradise. He's like, this place is a shithole. I saw another mouse.

You saw one mouse? That's it? Well, there's... They're not everywhere infesting all your clothes and eating your food and giving everyone horrible diseases. It's killing everyone old. Everyone with a weak immune system is just fucking dead. There's nowhere to put the body, so they stack them in the streets. Then the rats get infested with it, and then the rats start spreading it all over town. And then you have the Black Plague.

Oh, you saw a mouse? Oh, poor little baby. Are you going to be okay sharing the world with a mouse? And also, don't forget the fact that if you were pregnant, there's a pretty good chance you're going to die. Yeah, most likely. You're going to die when that thing comes out of your pussy. It's just going to split you in half and there's no antibiotics. And the baby's probably going to die too.

Well, during Rome, the infant mortality rate was 50%. 50%? Half the babies died. And that's one of the things when you read about like crazy stories of the bible we've talked about this before about how so everything was so violent so crazy and people say well this is really a book of god a book of religion why would it have such gratuitous violence why would violence be condoned well you don't even i don't even think we could wrap our heads around how hard life was back when they

wrote the Bible. And even the New Testament, even with Constantine and the bishops when they reworked the New Testament, that's still ridiculously hard. It's a terrible life back then, you know, and you, I think they probably needed religion back then. I mean, think about how easy life is today. And there's so many people that need a safety net. So many people that are terrified. So many people that, you know, want sanity to this and they seek that sanity and, you know, really ridiculous mythology. But back then it was imperative. You had to have it. I think Patton Oswalt's got some brilliant joke about this where he talks about how religion was invented

to trick dumb people that there's a cake in the sky so that they stop, like, attacking everyone, essentially. It's just really smart people recognize that there's really dumb people that have no qualms in killing and doing ridiculous things and so they tell them this fib to make them behave. I can't remember. The joke's awesome. Look it up. It could be possible, but I've always thought that what, I mean, I always joke around about it being for dumb people,

but I think there's a pull towards the idea of something other than us. And I think we always have had that. I don't think we're willing to believe that we're the end of the evolutionary food chain or the spiritual food chain. It seems silly. It seems much more likely like there's something above us. We just can't even communicate with it. We're just the same way ants can't tell you stories. We're not able to communicate with something that's the next level of existence of existence well yeah especially when we're and especially when we're so confused by our environment and we're sad and distracted I mean the thing that you were talking about initially is something I read this the Dalai Lama was in Beverly Hills talking to like some

rich people and in their house like doing a home visit and he said to them you know here we are you're in Beverly Hills, you have your mansion and all your things, but why are your medicine cabinets filled with antidepressants and Valium and anti-anxiety medication? Even with all this stuff, you're still experiencing mental turbulence to the point where you're depressed. This is the, if people are still caught up in that place, it's going to be very difficult for them to transcend it to the point where you're depressed. If people are still caught up in that place, it's going to be very difficult for them to transcend it to a point where you could communicate with some higher intelligence.

How are you going to do that when you're caught up in some ridiculous perception of the world where you're addicted and attached to material things, where you're stuck always wanting some new thing, which just makes you perpetually insane. Well, that's for a lot of people that becomes their focus. I think the human beings, you can look at the shallowness of materialism and you can say, God, it's so shallow.

God, it's so silly. Yes, yes and yes. But what is it really? What's going on really? Well, human beings are constantly trying to achieve things. I mean, that's the point of staying alive. The point of staying alive is you have to achieve success out there while you're hunting, success while you're fishing.

There's a reason why hunting and fishing is so satisfying. I haven't been hunting. I plan on going very soon. But I'm going to go with Steve Rinella, the guy from that meat-eater show. Wow. We're working it out. Name-dropper. Hey, I name-dropped the fucker to him. I don't even know who that is. Yeah. Meat-e eater show. Wow. We're working it out. Yeah. Name dropper. Hey, I name dropped the fucker to him.

I don't even know who that is. Yeah. Meat eating show. We're going to hunt bears in Alaska. Wow. Yeah. What the fuck? Anyway, how did I get onto that?

I got scared. I just got scared. What did you get scared of? Bears in Alaska. What were we talking about just before that? Well, we're talking about materialism. Oh, that I think that it's this. Oh, that's right. The reason why it's so satisfying. I did get scared thinking about just before that. Well, we're talking about materialism. Oh, then I think that it's this. Oh, that's right.

The reason why it's so satisfying. I did get scared thinking about bears in Alaska. You should. The reason why it's so satisfying hunting and fishing is because those tasks are, that's a prerequisite for staying alive for the longest time. Yeah. For the longest time, the way we stayed alive is we had to go out and gather our food. Yeah.

It feels good to pick food. Like if you find some blueberries somewhere and you pick them, there's like this weird joy that comes with finding a meal outside. That is a natural reward system that's put in place to ensure our survival. Now, when there are no hunting and gathering tasks to get, when it's so easy to just walk to the store and get meat, the choicest meat, and it takes literally seconds. Can I have that big, perfectly aged hunk of flesh that has no diseases on it, ready to cook right away? And can I have this milk that's been homogenized and pasteurized and has no chance of killing me and it can sit on the shelf for weeks?

And can I have this cheese that's also the same, it's very resistant to mold? And oh, look at this. Fresh vegetables that are genetically modified and you can grow tomatoes in the middle of the fucking winter outside. You know, all of it is incredible. But it's so easy and so accessible that there's no reward. You're not getting that reward. So people are just being gluttonous. Unlike the Native Americans who the flesh was so important to them, the kill was so important to them, everything was so sacred.

They would use every single part of the animal to honor that animal. And they wanted to keep this relationship with the buffaloes and with the deer and all the animals that they needed to sustain them. For us, that system is hijacked. It's hijacked by sports cars. It's hijacked by getting ahead uh you know getting a house in the hamptons it's hijacked by having a boat it's hijacked by all the things that you can reward yourself for women maybe it's jewelry or shoes where when it's shoes a lot of women they become obsessed with fucking handbags and shit i was reading about this woman who was um

some super billionaire's daughter. And he's, you know, I guess he's like super ridiculously wealthy. She has a million dollar bathtub that's made out of crystal. Like she has a bathtub that is a million dollars. And they imported it from Mexico. It's her bathtub. A million dollars. That's like an awesome house.

A million dollars. Yes. She an awesome house. A million dollars. She has this incredible supply of handbags. It's millions of dollars worth of handbags. Millions of dollars worth of shoes. Literally millions of dollars worth of shoes. You know, there's people that start, they get crazy and start buying high-end handmade watches that are a million dollars. And they look like a fucking Timex. I mean, I'm exaggerating. But they don't,'t look this this watch is it's called a tw steel yes it's uh it's a nice watch it's like it's

it's like 150 bucks on amazon.com or something like that for me it's perfect it's like cool looking i like it it's not flashy it's not like i'm trying to stick it in your face but i like the way a good machine look looks you know, something that's designed well. Yes. And that's what that looks like. But some people get crazy and they'll take it to, I want the finest watch constructed in the most difficult manner, like in a bottle. I want them to make the watch in a bottle with tweezers, you know, and I want it to be all magnetized and all of its titanium and hand carved and get the fuck out of here. Is it made in the bottle so no dust gets in it? Is that the reason for that?

I just made the bottle part up. It's like making a ship in the bottle. Why the fuck would you make a ship in the bottle? It's stupid. Who cares? It's harder for you? Well, making a regular fucking ship is like whatever. I'm not good. It's a mystery. I'd say make something better that's right in front

of you, stupid. Why are you making things inside bottles? It's a challenge. It's a mystery. I'd say make something better that's right in front of you, stupid. Why are you making things inside bottles? It's a challenge. It's like Tetris back in the old days. It's outrageous. It's preposterous. One thing that you're leaving out of the difference between primitive and modern people's living situation, you also have to take into account their mental state.

People, the Native Americans, they believed in like the great spirit they didn't know too much about the universe in the way that we know it they like had this faith in a kind of ancient religion that um that gave them a lot of comfort the modern guy who's buying all the ham and the meat and the fucking ship watches and bottles and the in the crazy woman buying the purses it gets even more absurd because their belief in the universe is either, you know, a fundamentalist Christian or a religious belief that's always haunted by science at all sides. The whole world is telling them, you know what, a lot of that stuff isn't true. A lot of that stuff doesn't, didn't really happen. The people, the way they're

describing that, nobody flew up into the air. No guy flew up into the air, came back to life after he got nailed to a cross. That's never happened. It doesn't happen. So their fucking main, the tenants of their religion are always getting attacked on all sides by science. And if you're not religious, then you exist. Like if you're an atheist, then it gets even more weird. You're just some like super smart primate that's been, that's stuck on a ball. You're just some like tiny little, tiny thinking little primate bug thing that the force of gravity is keeping stuck to the ground on a planet spinning around, like your joke, spinning around a ball of fucking fire. So it's like, if you don't really believe in God, then you're in this super absurd situation, which is,

it's like, now I have infinite amount of food and whatever I want, but I'm just some absurd little speck of something. You don't have to believe. I mean, not all atheists think that, by the way, but it is an absurd place to get to. I maintain that the reality of living on a planet in orbit around a star in a galaxy in a universe is so preposterous and bizarre and strange that it doesn't matter if you call it you know big thunder god in the sky it doesn't matter if you're you know you you you have some mythology attached to it your the reality is your perceptions your own perceptions of it are so abstract yeah they're so not there's not something even it i mean you'd

have to have fucking been to space you'd have to fucking bend space you'd have to have to go to a planet or at least orbit the moon or something just really wrap your fucking head around the fact that there's some other shit out there it just seems like you're telling me it but it's abstract i know the numbers hundreds of billions of galaxies 14 billion i know the numbers they're abstract yes it sounds to me it doesn't sound real i think that's religion sounds equally abstract you know you you can believe in in and i'm not comparing science to religion and that science has you know been measured and it makes sense and most of religion is silly, but I think to us, I'm just saying, I think to us, the reality of our situation is so preposterous that it's almost like religion had to be put in place to describe it. It really makes you wonder how quickly people became conscious because all this stuff was shit we had to deal with really early on. Like, wait, where are we?

What's going on? Where is this from? And then, well, the thunder god came from the sky. And we had to really early on had to come up with some fucking answers for how this came about. That's one of the cool things about Buddhism is that it doesn't talk about a thunder god or something it's more like someone recognizing that is whatever these absurd beings are on this planet we all kind of share the same similar problems there we're all sharing the same similar problems and then an analysis of those problems created like the system of buddhism which is a way to overcome the thing that's trying to make you buy

a shitload of purses and cars and the thing that's making to make you buy a shitload of purses and cars, and the thing that's making you miserable while you're laying in your fucking nice bed in your apartment. It's acknowledging that if you're fucking hunting bears as a Native American, or if you're lying in your fucking bed as a modern pepperoni-stuffed rich man, you both have the same problem, which is you're going to die, you're going to get old, you're going to get disease, you're going to get old age, disease, and death. This is an inevitability that we all share and that all humans have shared since the beginning of time. You can't escape it. So the cool thing about Buddhism is it's not like, if you pray to the mighty loon loon,

you'll get a blessing. It's all right let's sober up can we calm down can we overcome all the fucking distractions that are surrounding us can we focus our will to a point where we're no longer being buffeted by circumstances like all of our ancestors have and that's enlightenment man when you like wake up and you overcome the fucking sort of, you know, I mean, is it real enlightenment? No, it's it's it's you're you're sort of managing your situation. You're sort of, you know, dealing realistically with. But what does that even mean? I mean, what inevitable?

What is the inevitable? What is the death? You know, you're just all you know is that this ends. You don't even know what what takes place next, if anything. Nothing. You know, nothing. And for a lot of people, just that, I think, was too much. ends you don't even know what what takes place next if anything nothing you know nothing and for a lot of people just that i think was too much and people also have that natural primate

need to be right the need to follow the alpha need to have someone who seems to be the leader of the gang sure and it's it's almost impossible to do that unless you got a religion rocking it's really hard it's really hard unless you have not just a guy, but a guy who appeals to the gods. Yeah, an intermediary. Yeah. Someone who's like God's manager. Yeah, it's way easier to run shit because you're way closer to God. It's a funny thing.

I mean, it's the greatest trick ever. If you trick a bunch of people to think that you're the one who can communicate with God, like, yeah, I represent God. That's what everybody does, right? I represent God. Has every cult not pulled that move? Everyone. People want to believe shit, man. There's a lot of people that want to believe shit. You could start a cult, for real. Me? Yeah, easily. Oh, no, I'd never start a cult.

Of course you would never start a cult, but you could start a cult. If you wanted to, if you were a crazy person, you'd be really good at it. You think so? Oh, yeah. That's the nicest thing you ever said to me. You look like Manson, kind of.

You could totally do it. You're a charismatic guy. You're very intelligent. You can spin a yarn. All the prerequisites for someone being a cult leader. Right. Yeah. You know, I think that it would be much more fun to just be part of what's actually happening on the planet.

Yeah. To be part of the cascade. Yeah, that's a massive distraction to be in a cult. It's a lot of work. Life itself is way more confusing. Think of the work running a cult, man. It's like, that's a lot of fucking organization. Yeah, no shit.

And you gotta, ugh, it would be terrible. A lot of sex, I bet, though. Yeah, but it's gross sex. Yeah, but it's all trick sex. Ugh. Let me tell you something. The only sex you want in life, period just unless you just gotta get a hooker and you just gotta get your dick sucked period you know you're just a guy who just never gets laid and yes you

gotta do what you gotta do other than that what you really want ideally is sex with people who want to have sex with you yeah you don't want that trick sex no you know that i'm the messiah trick sex because people are gonna get mad at you, man. Somewhere along the line, someone's going to get mad at you. Oh, sure. You should only have sex with people that genuinely want to have sex with you. Have you ever had payment sex where you did something and they felt like they had to have sex with you just as a payment?

No. That was the worst. I'll change the story a little bit. It's a girl that uh wanted me to do some stuff for her and so i did it for her just thinking like i thought she was just cute yeah but then right when it was done she's just like okay and she comes into the next room just takes off her clothes and and i'm and i'm like oh fuck yeah and i fuck her and then then she left and and then we later she wanted to do some more stuff and so i did it and she goes look i'm

on my period right now after i was done with it she goes i'm on my period right now but can i get you next time and i'm like okay wow someone needs to tell her about money yeah can i get you next time so wow you know we should have this conversation off the air i want to know who the fuck this is um yeah can you give me a hint no you wouldn't know i would have to explain it more you'd be like eventually you think oh yeah yeah is this a long time ago this happened or yeah it's like seven years ago wow that's funny no i've never i've never had that happen before i've never had that but i have lent money in the past to people i've dated yeah but it's never really alone just kind of they mostly hate doing that though i've

noticed that people hate that man people hate they hate when they're stuck they hate when they have no one to turn to you know all of a sudden like you get your bills are piling up and your fucking transmission breaks and you literally can't get to work that happens to people oh yeah it's the worst super normal it happens all the time you know it sucks people hate to be in a position most people do the people who like to be in a position to ask people for money all the time. You know? It sucks. People hate to be in a position. Most people do. The people who like to be in a position to ask people for money all the time, those are a pain in the ass. You know? Especially, you know, dudes who just always seem to be in a spot.

Always. Like, you never can get out of this. Always in a bind. Yeah. But why are you spending so much on this house? Why is this car so much? You're broken. You're always needing money.

Dude, you've got to manage your situation. You situation you know you know if you want better things in life you gotta make more money man you can't like pretend you have more credit cards a lot of a lot of it's credit cards but how do you get into credit no one's forcing you to tell you how you get credit cards you you you're a broke person being a waiter and you're making shit no money but you want a new tv you run it you see all your friends have tvs you sit like that's what we just talked about yeah but what sucks is that that it shouldn't be fair for credit card companies to charge like what they're doing now up to 30 30 percent or something like that what is it that's criminal that's criminal i mean that's that's that should be against the law it's totally criminal and most people pay the minimum and you'll pay

that off for the rest of your life and you'll just keep paying that yeah and you'll net you will have paid so much more money than you spent. It's criminal. But dude, a lot of people are in a trance, man. A lot of people are in a serious fucking trance. And like. Aum Aum And just like that, we change the environment of the room. Yeah, that's cool.

Change the environment of the show, ladies and gentlemen, just like that. Amazing. We brought you down freak lane. Freak lane. Took you down freak lane. We do a podcast at Descarca Bonzo with Brendan Walsh, and they do that every episode. They do things like that.

They sit there for five minutes making crazy noises for no reason at all out of nowhere. I bet that would be a funny podcast because Brendan Wals walsh is a funny motherfucker he's a funny guy by the way there's a podcast whole network of them called death squad that we're also involved in brian runs all of them and they're all on itunes and all for free and they include the ice house chronicles which is i think is one of the best podcasts we do and what the ice house chronicles is we're actually going to do one after i do this podcast with duncan and what it is is while the show is going on at the ice house we also come over here and we fuck around and talk shit and have a podcast it's a lot of fun and it's a real green room like it's an actual green room of the show like you'll see people saying like oh shit am i on am i on now

and then they'll run out of the room and go on stage it's it's really cool you know i like that that paul provenza show, The Green Room. I enjoy whenever you can get, you know, Stan Hope and Dave Attell and Janine Garofalo in a room together and let them argue. Yeah. And Jamie Kilstein and whoever was in that. You know, I enjoy that. But this is a real green room of a real show of a bunch of guys who work together on a regular basis. And you're not going to get any weird awkwardness

or people you know that are attacking people most of it's just a lot of fun but occasionally brian will bring someone in here and you go what the fuck are these people brian who's this chick we've had only four really major instances but those have been people love those they love those moments yeah yeah we've had a few incidents where Brian brought people in and be like, this person can't talk anymore, Brian. Get this person out of here. I can't tell you. He knows people

in some shady businesses. I keep on running into shady shit. That's a lot of it. I think in the future, I'm going to completely do something. I thought about this the other day. I'm going to date somebody that I would have dated when I was 21. Like when I was 21, I was –

Why don't you date someone that you should be dating when you're 37, you crazy asshole? No, because that's even scarier. 37-year-olds in Los Angeles, that's the scariest bottom of the weird – Sometimes. For the most part. The ratio is really bad. Sometimes it's like you, and sometimes it's like Duncan.

Sometimes it's a guy or a girl for you who's at a certain point in their life has actually learned a lot of shit and is actually fun to be around. Right. We all assume chauvinistically as men, especially, that when you meet a girl

that's in their late 30s, she's just going to be a fucking wreck. Just a screaming wreck of desperation and fear and blame. Well, girls my age want to make babies quick, so they're about to trick you. I feel like they try to play exactly who they think you want you to be just to make them Yeah, I know someone who absolutely, unquestionably was tricked. The girl he was dating was older and they like right away started dating and she said that she was on the pill

and she got off the pill immediately. She immediately knew that she was only, I think she was like 35 or 36. This is a horror story. Well, that's where it gets with women. I mean, not all women, obviously most women aren't deceptive, but where it gets with some women is like,

listen, I don't give a fuck what he wants. I only get one more shot at this. I'm not going to be in some sort of relationship with some guy, by the way, who has plenty of money so he can take care of this thing. Even if the kid doesn't work out, this is what I want. I want a child. This guy's got money. He's got genetics. And they'll just take the loads.

They'll just take the loads. And you have to pretend that you have to somehow or another, you know, if you're having sex with her and you're not wearing a condom, you have to realize that that's a possibility, that someone could do that. And it's totally legal, by the way. She could do that. Isn't that crazy? Yeah.

Even if she was deceptive, I don't think she could lose in court. I think she could probably say it's her business. I think whether or not you took the pill, has anybody ever sued someone based on whether or not they took the pill? I don't think so. They say the pill is like, they say it's 99% effective. I bet it's 100% effective. Just one people are such wretched lying cunts, it's unprovable in court.

It's very possible the pill is just straight up effective. Would you ever get your shit snipped? Like maybe save some sperm in a fridge? Stanhope did that. Yeah. Did he save some sperm also? No, he did not save sperm. Save your sperm.

But that could be reversed. But Doug's loads at this point are fucking completely useless. His loads will come out like wet cardboard. There's no way they're impregnating anybody. That getting reversed just has this weird visual that your penis would be just so broken looking. No, it's not your penis. It's underneath your balls. You wouldn't even see that, but the innards, man, that's what's really crazy. You're trying to reattach

a tube, and it might not work. It might not take. This is like the worst. This thing just fell into this. We had that beautiful home and it fell into hell. There's a new way I saw online where they're doing it now with, like, a clip. They're actually bending it and pinching it and cutting it off with a clip.

And the idea behind the clip is that it could be reversible. But I always think that, like, you know, you're doing jiu-jitsu and some guy goes knee on belly on you hard and pops your fucking clip out. And next thing you know, well, listen, man, that's reality. You get a big guy on you in side control neon belly's a motherfucker dude that's you gotta have tight abs i do i do my sit-ups that's what i think i don't want to get stuck with some big fucking guy neon belly that's what i do that's what i think of when i'm doing my sit-ups you just gave me an anxiety attack

don't get anxiety attack just do sit-ups with 25 pound plates while you're hanging by your ankles this is what you do you take a 25 pound plate you put itpound plates while you're hanging by your ankles. This is what you do. You take a 25-pound plate, you put it by your chest, and you hang by your ankles. And just all the way up, fucking slow. Control it, Duncan, even if you only do one. How is this going to keep me from having an illegitimate child? You've got to control your stomach muscles. You're saying if I control myself. I'm going to teach you about ball kegels.

That's the next thing I'm going to teach you about, how to kegel your balls. You know how women do kegels to keep their pussy tight? Apparently you can do that to close your sperm down. Shut the troops down. Just come on, boys. It's a really weak muscle. If you try to squeeze your dick muscle right now as you're sitting here, just go like this. It's so weak.

It's so weak. I have no dick-squeezing endurance at all. I don't either. That's why when you have to cum and you don't want to cum, it's so weak. It's so weak. I have no dick-squeezing endurance at all. I don't either. That's why when you have to cum and you don't want to cum, it's so hard. When you're like, don't fucking move, don't move, and you're just grabbing her and holding her in place, don't move, and you're going, just squeeze her.

Forget it. Just forget it. That's when loads sneak out, and that's how people get pregnant. Do you believe the idea that the Taoists and the tantric sex people believe that you actually lose energy when you come? If you come too much, you're losing some form of energy. Not like some boxers. They won't ejaculate before a fight, but they won't have sex before a fight

because they want to sleep. Well, they've actually proven, physiologically proven, that if you don't have any release within seven days, your testosterone goes up significantly. Right. Significantly, like measurably. I don't remember the actual number, but it was enough so that it would warrant doing that if you were a fighter.

But for some fighters, the difficult thing is relaxing. The difficult thing is getting in there and being able to fight up to your potential it's not the amount of testosterone that you're producing it's how well are you in control of your mind right because your mind is what's going to guide you through this fucking thing your mind's going to have to deal with the consequences of knuckles coming flying at your face and jumping knees and dudes trying to take you down dude's trying to throw you literally on your head. Your mind is dealing with all this and your mind has got to be on point and your mind

has got to be relaxed enough to not freeze up, relaxed enough to respond to the pressure and do the smart thing and not get exhausted quickly because of anxiety. That's a big problem with guys. Their mind gets them so like this that their body's like, I can't do this anymore because they're so inefficient. They're so completely inefficient in their use of their body

that everything is a strain and everything is a sprint and they become exhausted like almost immediately. Yeah, learning to get in that fucking state, man. By the way, what I was saying is

in that case, I would say that you should have sex because then you're not going to at least think about the sex. Because if you're not having sex, you're built up with all this testosterone and you're just thinking about pussy and you're so confused. You might not even be able to be comfortable in there. You might not be able to get loose in there. Whereas if you get it out of your system, you get the sex, you're still going to be – you still feel great. I mean how much of an effect does it have on you? Does it have an effect on you where you go to the gym and you're still gonna be you still feel great I mean you still I mean how much of an effect doesn't have on you doesn't have an effect on you where you go to

The gym in your week now I've had sex and go to the gym and I feel great It's not that much of a problem I think for a lot of guys you'd be better off just having the sex to calm down get it out of your system Yeah, look. I don't like don't ask me man like I Maybe can go like four days without jerking off i'm not having sex the most so i have no idea the whole here's the perfect mystery to me daoism and the whole tantric thing i just don't know if it's it's something i wonder about because it's two systems that both you know have like really developed systems around this idea of like uh extending your orgasm like somehow

they can like supposedly make their orgasms last much, much, much longer. Yeah, Sting is into that, right? But you would think if he would be, like, really that in tune with everything, his fucking songs would be better lately. Right. You know, like, a long time ago, they were awesome.

You know, the old Sting. When was the last time Sting had a good new song? Does he have songs anymore? Yeah. The last Sting songs I heard that were new, they came out while I was playing pool. Field of Gravy or whatever that song is. Field of Gravy? Field of Gravy.

Well, him and his wife, they have like these 30-minute sex sessions. But where's your music, bro? Why? You know what I mean? Is he putting out music that I'm not aware of? Did you say 30-minute? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like crazy tantric orgasms where they last like 30 minutes.

30-minute orgasms. Yeah. Yeah, for real. Can you imagine the smell on that? What do you think? Hey, what do you think would happen if you had a 24-hour orgasm? What would happen to you? It would feel great. I think...

That would suck. I think you... I don't know, man. You'd be wasted. You'd be exhausted by the time it was over. But yeah, it would probably feel great. Can you imagine trying to eat while having an orgasm like you're at subway trying to order that'd be embarrassing that'd be the worst thing the worst drug you'd always be around people

coming like wherever like you'd go to parties and everyone's just on the couch having orgasms that's totally possible by the way that's not like a really difficult thing to represent chemically i bet yeah i don't think it is i think they could come up with an orgasm pill that's not around the corner no one ever would have thought a hard dick pill would have been feasible or you know achievable so quickly and easily sure that was the plague of so many fucking think how hard it would have been to have an erection when you're looking down at your wife's flea covered pussy that hasn't had a shower in four months yeah there's no showers could they even be if they bathe you had to get like buckets of water you had to bring them by the river one at a time yeah you had to go over and over again it'd probably take you an hour and

a half each fucking trip back and forth back and forth i'll get the rest of it tomorrow yeah then what do you do you boil the water what's going on there? Or just take an ice cold bath. Yeah. And then you dry your dirty ass off on some fucking animal skins. Some just old gross half rotten skins and you're just dirty again. Yeah. What did people smell like back then? Oh, no one knows.

Armpits probably mostly, right? I wonder if it balanced out. If like all the bacteria in your body would just fight each other off until it got to a balanced warfare state. The issue with us is that we clean our skin so much that we lose a lot of the healthy bacteria in the outside of your skin. That's one of the problems with people that have an obsessive-compulsive and they have to clean everything. People that are, what is that, a phobia? What is it called when you're afraid of germs? OCD.

Yeah. Howie Mandel gets warts on his hands apparently yeah because he uses that hand cleaner so much his head is getting worse it's getting worse somebody we had a podcast the other day where somebody yeah he won't even touch knuckles with you anymore he used to touch knuckles but now he won't even do that you know what man we've already talked about this but when you consider how filthy the assholes and most people in the Western world are, it kind of makes sense, man. Sort of.

You're just using toilet paper to wipe. You're using toilet paper. Yes, that is gross. But being such a germophobia is preposterous because we are not one thing. We're terrified of these germs, but we have germs in us we are germs you know we're not just one thing you should clean your hands yes for sure you should definitely wash your dishes you should clean your ass you should but you also shouldn't be a fucking freak don't don't be crazy about it don't be afraid to touch a table because somebody might have

touched it before you just wash your goddamn hands and eat your vegetables well then no they say i think i mean i give given duncan a couple stink watches before where you don't wash your goddamn hands and eat your vegetables. Well, no, they say it. I think, I mean, I could have given Duncan a couple stink watches before where you don't wash your finger, and then when you shake hands, you just kind of rub it on the inside of their hand right here and it makes it smell like poop. Aw, jeez, man. Brian. I heard you guys were talking about me itching my ass on your podcast. You itched your asshole. Brian itches his asshole.

No, no, no, no. What I do is I— While he sits there, he itches his asshole for sure. That's such a weird thing to admit. See, that's completely false, what he's saying right now. Are you telling me that you have itched your asshole? I'm saying I have. Are you telling me you have not?

I'm saying I know you have itched your asshole by mistake before, or at least once and twice in your life, right? I make sure that if I do have to itch my asshole, that I wash my hands afterwards. I am not convinced that you do the same. See, that's right there. It's just spreading false information. Because do you think I really itch my ass

and then just walk around and be like, oh, it smells good. No. But I do think that if you were tired and you didn't feel like getting up to go wash your hands and your asshole itched, you would itch your asshole for sure

and then go right back to your keyboard. No, I would suck on it a little and wipe it on my shirt. Disgusting, man. 37-year-old man boy. His name is Red Band. We need a commercial. The Adventures of Red Band. The Adventures of Red Band made up by you because that was all bullshit.

You cry sensitive, but you're the one who wants to interrupt podcasts with digging your asshole stories, and that's how it got started in the first place. We had a podcast where you jumped in the middle of it and started talking about you actually getting shit on your hands because you were itching your asshole. We were talking about that right then. That's why I said it.

I don't believe we were, but the point is you cannot bring something like that. That's how I got to it. You guys were just talking about it. The point is you cannot bring something like that up. That's how I got to it. You guys were just talking about it. The point is you cannot bring something like that up and be that preposterous and then be sensitive about people talking about you itching your asshole and having shit all over your hands. The only reason I said that is because I heard you talk about it on Duncan's podcast that I did this when, in fact, I didn't do this.

You did itch your asshole. I said I have itched my asshole. This is like the worst case of Judge Judy. You've itched your asshole. You cannot be judgmental about guys talking about you itching your asshole. Do you not understand that you open up the door? You've itched your asshole too? Yes, I have.

Exactly. Then what's the big deal? I told you I washed my hands. Guys. And I never said I didn't? You are. I guarantee you. So I didn't say I washed my hands. That means I didn't wash my hands. I just love the washed my hands. Guys. And I never said I didn't? You are. I guarantee you. So I didn't say I washed my hands.

That means I didn't wash my hands. I just love the smell of poop. Itch your asshole and then go do some typing. All right. If you only had like three more words to type, you would definitely go, well, I'll wash my hands in a little bit and just, I'll remember to wash this keyboard off. I'll make up some shit about you now. Listen, Brian, you want to talk about itching your asshole and getting shit on it

You cannot be sensitive about that man. That's silly look you have not itch your asshole It becomes a subject it becomes a subject and it becomes fun. You can't all of you guys here. It's your own asshole Yes, yes, you know how many different because I talked about it. Yes, okay, because we can I'm sorry for talking Itching my ass Because we can say that just based on your normal behavior that it's at least possible. It's a possible example that you could have itched your asshole and then not gone to the bathroom and washed it. It's very possible. That's very possible. So that's what we made fun of, dude.

So fucking relax. No, you're saying it's if I did, though. No, I'm not. You did on your podcast, I heard. Well, we said you itched your asshole and then didn't wash and then touching everything. Yeah, that's what we said.

That's possible. That's why it's funny. Okay. We don't know, obviously. We weren't there while you were itching your asshole and touching things. It's called goofing on you.

You can't goof on yourself in front of us like that and then expect us not to also do the same thing. If there's anything that we goof on about ourselves during the podcast, feel free to goof on it about us when we're not here.

I mean, if you're doing it yourself, you can't be upset that other people are doing it. You're talking about digging in your asshole, getting shit all over your hands. You cannot be upset at other people laughing about that. If you want to, look, I've talked about the podcast about shitting my pants. I shit my pants driving home from Fear Factor once. Shit my fucking pants. Pl filled them up just just held it in as long as I can I was like oh just really I couldn't I couldn't hold it in anymore I was stuck in traffic it was it was a horrible diarrhea moment feel free to make fun

of that because it actually did happen I actually did have to clean my car I actually did have to clean my pants is that the shit didn't in my car, but my pants were soaking wet with shit. So that kind of leaked through some of the fabric and got all over my seats. So I had to get in there with Windex. I used an old toothbrush and shit. It's disgusting. That's real. So you can make fun of that.

And when you start talking about digging in your ass and getting shit all over your hands, guess what, fella? We're going to joke about it. You can't be all sensitive about that. Silly bitch wait i've heard you said or this is just i didn't even listen to the podcast what i heard you said well you're saying you're telling that brian stop now and stop now if you didn't listen to the podcast stop now don't ever don't ever comment on something especially in an angry way i'm not even commenting you're asking why i brought it up and that i'm telling you why I brought it up

because I heard recently you were saying that I did that. That's how you asked how I brought up the situation that I randomly threw in something about what you were talking about. It was very similar to what you guys were talking about. Brian, you need to settle the fuck down before you have a heart attack. You're the one going off on me, man.

No, I'm not, Brian. You're being defensive about the fact that we were joking around about you itching your ass and touching things. I'm not being defensive. You asked me why I randomly brought up the fact, and I was not, Brian. You're being defensive about the fact that we were joking around about you itching your ass and touching things. I'm not being defensive. You asked me why I randomly brought up the fact, and I was telling you why. You certainly are being defensive. I'm not.

I don't give a shit. You are, and the way you're arguing right now is very childlike. That is very defensive. Did you see Deadmau5 and Madonna? Yes, I did. That's crazy. What do you think about that? Well, Deadmau5 is a silly bitch.

He was making fun of Madonna because Madonna, well, Madonna, like, you know, people on my message board were totally ragging on her for her attempt at being relevant. You know, she gets on stage like, who here has seen Molly? Molly is a nickname for MDMA. Which is her new album, isn't it? MDNA. Yeah, but it's written to kind of, so she's just trying to. She's trying to pump up her album. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, that's part of her thing is connecting herself to this very, very popular rave drug. So Deadmau5 gets mad about it, and he gets pissed at her and saying, you know, her, der, you know, you're connecting drugs to the electronic dance movement, and you shouldn't do that. No, like, you don't need... His idea is you don't need drugs to enjoy that movement,

the music that he's making, or any of those artists are making, which is true. You do not need drugs to do that. I mean, I he's making or any of those artists are making which is true you do not need drugs to do that i mean i've listened to stuff and i enjoyed it and i wasn't i wasn't on drugs but take some really good but if you took mdma he's he doesn't have any experience in it so that's why it's ridiculous so for him to say that it's like man you're you're talking shit about an experience that for some people is maybe the most energetic and positive experience I've ever had in their life is being high on ecstasy at a rave listen to dance music being on excellent MDMA and standing in front of

a speaker the size of a house that's blasting out fucking awesome house music there's nothing that's the best that's what like most people go to see that music you know on molly that's the whole point of listening to the music but what he's saying is it's giving his electronic music a bad name you know like you don't have to enjoy listening to that kind of music on my but i think that's ridiculous that's like saying reggae music without marijuana that's like you know saying like rap without stealing a car you're certainly not gonna that is something i remember that that was like back in the day when i used to go to the raves that was like one section of people who would go to go to the rays and a very small one were a group of like connoisseurs of the music who didn't think that you should pollute

your mind with the drugs and just enjoy purely enjoy the music well the problem is we had dead mouse on the podcast he was drunk as fuck and he wouldn't stop smoking cigarettes oh come on he's he chained smoked cigarettes and he was drunk as fuck and i enjoyed hanging out with them don't get me wrong i like to do it but i think he's i think his whole uh thought process is is really it's it's uninformed and i think if he had experiences with psychedelic drugs and music, I mean, not that MDMA is a psychedelic. It's an empathogen, I think is what they call it. But it's impactful is what it is. MDMA had a very strong influence on my behavior.

It gave me a very, very deep insight into behavior patterns and insecurity. And I said on my message board, I was like, I think he could use some MDMA. I really think he could. You know, not that he's a bad guy, but I think that there's a lot of people, they have a certain amount of unnecessary anger inside of them, a certain amount of unnecessary judgment. And MDMA will knock that shit right out of you. It's such a loving feeling,

and that's one of the reasons why they're using it for post-traumatic stress disorder, for vets coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan, and that's a positive thing, man. That's a good thing. Are people abusing it and dancing? Of course they are, but that goes back to what I said in that movie, The Union.

People can abuse cheeseburgers. Should we make cheeseburgers illegal? I can take a fork and stick it in my eye. Should we make forks illegal? But do you know how many people a year die from drinking? What the statistic is? It's 100,000. Yeah, between 70 and 100,000.

And that doesn't even include drunk driving deaths, by the way. That's people who drunk themselves to death. Yeah, people die from alcohol poisoning. People die from overdosing on alcohol. People die from sclerosis of the liver directly related to alcoholism. But MDMA is a small amount. it's like illegal drugs in this country there's only like 12 000 people die a year yeah the real problem is prescription drugs right now which are overcoming drunk driving accidents and as far as fatalities oh my god those are the worst people die from those left and right man but i have a friend who died but i have a friend who died in new york a

pool player and he was a great guy. And he was a straight edge. He was straight edge. He made fun of people who smoked cigarettes. And then all of a sudden he hurt his back. And when he hurt his back, he got on some oxycodones or one of those. And just, boop, that was it. See ya. Bye-bye.

Changed his life. Fell asleep in his mashed potatoes. Everyone's hanging out together. The fucking guy just falls asleep sitting there eating dinner. Plop. So sad. Like a movie. Puts his arm down and falls asleep on a plate of mashed potatoes so sad dude it's the saddest thing ever man it really is it is sad it's really sad when you consider that these drugs these

synthetic drugs that people are that are killing so many people are semi legal and alcohol is killing everybody and it's totally legal right where is these like a path and an empathogen like MDMA that when you take it, you can, if you have some discipline, you can go dancing. It's fun to go dancing on it.

But if you have some discipline, you can shift your life into the positive forever. Yes. If you have some discipline and if you're working with someone or if you're, if you know what you're doing. Well, if you're honest with your, about your experience, if you're a person who's truly looking to improve who you are as a

person i think the nbm mdma can be very impactful i didn't like the way it made me feel i wouldn't recommend anybody doing it i would say man you have to like weigh your own pros and cons even though it impacted me in a very positive way i remember feeling absolutely terrible the next day i don't think it's good for your body i don't want to do it again just but I learned a lot from doing it and the fact that oxycontins which are literally synthetic heroin literally listen that is what it is there's no doubt it is a synthetic opiate it is incredibly incredibly addictive people have done heroin say it's easier to kick heroin than it is to kick pills Jesus the oxycontin pills somehow or, somehow or another, the way they're constructed, the way it impacts

with the human body, makes them even more addictive. It's just insanity, man. Well, they're fucking fishhooks, dude. They're fishhooks coming out of the pharmaceutical companies that get stuck in people's brains. You get a fucking fishhook in your brain attached to a giant corporation that's got you fucking wired in, whether you're getting it legally or not. It's like telephone wires all connecting back to the telephone company. to a giant corporation that's got you fucking wired in, whether you're getting it legally or not. It's like telephone wires all connecting back to the telephone company.

From the brains, all these pill poppers. It's just fucking lines going back to what? And no benefit whatsoever except a little bit of pain relief. The social benefit of MDMA would be gigantic, man. If MDMA became legal and it was prescribed. But the problem is, also, you know, you got people who would OD on it,

people who drink when they take it. There's a lot of different possibilities. People could fuck it up. Yeah, they could fuck it up, but guess what? They get to,

because it's their life and their body. Yes, and they can do that with alcohol. And they can do that. You know, the fact that there's all these laws against things like MDMA

and mushrooms, and mushrooms and things. Mushrooms are where it really gets crazy because you can't over-dose. Who the fuck has ever overdosed on mushrooms? You have to eat like pounds of it. The LD50 rate for mushrooms is really high. You've got to be really trying to kill yourself. You have to eat like a garbage bag. I think it's like a garbage bag.

Which, by the way, you could eat way less salt and you'd be dead. You don't even have to eat a pound of salt you're fucking gone man you ain't coming back you know you try to if you ate a pound of salt you just sat there with a tablespoon and just started eating salt and you ate a whole pound bag that's it that's a wrap kid see ya you're dead you're dead yeah you could die from drinking water remember we were in sacramento and that lady died in a contest oh i remember when that happened that happened, man. It's so sad. That happened to a frat kid, too. They were

hazing a frat kid and they made him drink water until he couldn't drink anymore and he fucking died, too. He'd just die. It's so fucked up, man. It's a terrible way to go. We have weird laws that protect people. Cigarettes being legal is the most preposterous. And also remember the impulse for many people who are taking psychedelics

is not to try to wipe out the universe, but it's to try to go deeper into the universe. And so that means that a lot of people in the jails right now and a lot of people in the dungeons, they had the same instincts as like a lot of the great philosophers. They just wanted to expand their mind and understand a little bit about the universe. And they're in prison now. They're imprisoned. And so from the prohibition, you're not just getting an inability to go enjoy a great fucking night at some underground party or the inability to like have a great camping trip with your pals. It's literally,

I think, stifling evolution because God knows what amazing thoughts people could be coming up with if there was regulated psychedelics that and we got to explore them to understand how to really use them and how to really fucking Harness them to make us smarter. You know, this is something that's the Birthright of humanity all indigenous tribes have some form of psychedelic that they take This is like the ancient people of the earth knew about this peyote ayahuasca yet somehow in the modern age they're keeping us from this experience that maybe is the thing that connected the Native Americans to the earth that you were talking about in the beginning. Maybe it is the thing that made people not so fucking fixated on material possessions you know But it's why we have a prohibition happening now.

It's the dark ages. It's like, imagine if there was a book, just some book, and inside of it was amazing information that will teach you how to overcome your ego, that will connect you with your brothers and sisters around you. There's this amazing book, and it's surrounded by a fence

that the government's erect, and they're like, sorry, can't read that fucking book. Can't read it. It's illegal. You read that the government's erecting. They're like, sorry, can't read that fucking book. Can't read it. It's illegal. You read that book, you're going to the dungeon. If we catch you distributing this book, copies of this book, we put you in the dungeon. It doesn't make any sense, man. Why aren't they letting us read that fucking book?

I don't know anyone who died on mushrooms. I don't know anyone where anything bad happened to them on mushrooms. Nobody. I've never heard it. I'm sure it's out there. I don't know. I've never heard it. i've heard a lot of things bad on mushrooms yeah but those people are all bitches every person i've ever met that had like a horrible trip on mushrooms they all had like psychological shit they were dealing with i've had like

five bad problems i got sick i was shitting myself and puking. Oh, well, that's possible. You can get some fungus, too. You can get some food poisoning if you don't handle them good. Most bad trips, I think, are overdosing. I think that's all it is. There's an overdose limit of how much mushrooms you should have based on how much you ate that day, how much, I don't know, all the factors. Well, that's why it needs to be regulated because then it could be dispensed like synthetic yeah well we're talking about um the the whole idea behind the fact that these drugs like cocaine are illegal is what keeps them from being impure you know everyone cuts them up everyone adds all the stuff to them you couldn't do that if it was sold by

coca-cola coca-cola was selling cocaine sure you know you you you would have to have the ingredients listed right there on it you would know exactly what it was you they would have to sell your actual cocaine. But when you're buying it from some fucking kid at a rave, he's calling it MDMA. I hope he's right. You don't know. You're taking a chance.

You want to party. You want to have a good time. Yeah, but who knows? Who knows what the fuck it is, man? It's like what Joey Diaz was talking about with the cocaine the other day. That's what I just said. Oh. Jesus Christ, you're not even listening.

That's what we were actually saying. That's the subject we were talking. Dude, if I did, dude, if I had a time machine, Rogan, and I could go back in time, one of my stops on the way back to the crucifixion would be to fucking pick up a cocaine laden bottle of Coca-Cola. Haven't you always wondered what that was like to drink a cocaine, cocaine to Coke? Yeah, dude, it's gotta be, well, I, when we say cocaine, um,

this is also, we talked about this in the podcast yesterday. The Coca leaf, the chewing of the Coca leaf has a very complete, it's a very different reaction than, um, eating. And by the way,

uh, Coca leaves are still in Coca-Cola. A lot of people don't know that, but yeah, you, they still import, even though Coca leaves are illegal, they still import Coca leaves to using Coca-Colaola i might be talking on my ass i thought they

i think they changed the formula for that a long time ago i don't know is that when they think it was like the 20s or something like that yeah no no i think it was like a long long time ago not sure about that uh i'm not sure about that but anyway anyway, my point is the coca leaf, which they had that, that was an ingredient. Sure. But were they using cocaine as an ingredient or was it just the coca leaves? I don't know. I mean, wasn't Sherlock Holmes addicted to cocaine in those books? I think it was.

A lot of guys were. Yeah. I thought it was morphine. It wasn't morphine? I can't remember. Or was that Wyatt Earp? Wyatt Earp used to go to morphine dens? Probably. People were. Yeah. They had op were there. Yeah. I thought it was morphine. Was it morphine? I can't remember. Or was that Wyatt Earp? Wyatt Earp used to go to morphine dens? Probably.

Yeah, they had opium dens. Yeah. And I think Freud was really into Coke. I think they were, like, blasting themselves with Coke. And it was totally legal. Like, no one... It wasn't regulated back then, as far as I know. I think you could at least get prescriptions for it.

I've seen, like, cool old... I mean, if it's in fucking Coke... If it's in Coca-cola it's legal yeah there is actually god people must have been obnoxious back then yeah everyone's on coke it must have been the worst coca-cola actually does have a legal importation of the coca leaf um still yes wow coca is coca and coca-cola the coke formula is one of the most closely guarded corporate uh secrets in america the company Still? Yes. Wow. Coca and Coca-Cola, the Coke formula, is one of the most closely guarded corporate secrets in America. The company concedes that using a decocanized flavor essence in the coca leaves is one of the few Coke ingredients the company will publicly acknowledge.

So they are using an actual extract of the coca leaf that has no cocaine in it. So I was right. Where's that cocaine going they're extracting do do do do it all goes to Elton John's house they're producing all the cocaine in the world can you imagine if Coca-Cola turned out

to be like Scarface the number one cocaine dealer on earth well dude if they're de-extracting cocaine, where is it going? Well, we're just going to throw it away. We don't even need it, even though it's worth billions. Yeah, forget that. We don't need that money, okay?

We're here to sell kids sugary shit that makes their teeth rot out. Joe, we're dead. We're not going to walk out of this place. We're not here to kill anybody. And the guy is actually Dr. Pepper the whole time. He's the Scarface character of the Coca-Cola company. All you need to know about whether or not they would make money off of things like that is who's making money off cigarettes cigarettes are fucking for sure killing yeah like almost a half a million people a year in

this country alone yep our ideas about intoxication are so bizarre and baffling that somehow or another we think that they are protecting us from something that perturbs our state of consciousness and makes us think about things in a completely different way and possibly even hallucinate but some weird surge that you get because of an almost immediate addiction

that you've acquired to some stupid fucking burning plant that's soaked in chemicals. No one even discusses it. It never comes up. Nope, not at all. No campaigns ever bring it up. No one ever promises.

People are promising bases on the moon. Newt Gingrich got desperate and promised a base on the moon by the time he had a second term. He threw a Hail Mary. It's like base on the moon. No one ever says, we need to make cigarettes illegal and save our friends who are dying a horrible death addicted to a terrible chemical that's a sick company is profiting off and we need to re change the way we

look to change the way we look at this terrible terrible scourge on america no one not not a single politician would ever make that speech meanwhile they did they'd wind up dead in the fucking hotel room somewhere but meanwhile, if anyone running for president said, I think that Silas Iben makes you connect with the universe and makes you love the people around you more and it gives

you more of an experience of a full life and reminds you of how small you are and their relation to everything else and you can't really OD on it, so I don't think it should be illegal. If somebody said that, if a president said that right now, like Santorum said that, or somebody said that they would never get elected.

You say that, but I don't, I don't agree. Not only what, the only way they would never get elected is if they would never get elected anyway, because elections aren't real, but could they change the public's consciousness?

Absolutely. Press would, if you got an eloquent guy, well, there's evidence. John Hopkins, the recent John Hopkins University study showed that over a 20-year period of time, all these people that took mushrooms just once had a

direct change in their personality, an improvement of their personality. It shouldn't be illegal. Of course it shouldn't be illegal, but I think that if someone was eloquent and someone made sense in all other areas, if someone was a bright person, and they could prove it and prove it in an articulate and eloquent manner where it was compelling where what they were telling you was that here's what's going on okay I know

you're all associating drugs with being a negative thing and the reason for that it's intelligent to do so most drugs and many many drugs can be very negative on your life however we've been sold a bill of goods on certain drugs and certain drugs are actually good for you not only are they good for you they may be the whole reason we evolved from fucking monkeys in the first place but we've been lied to and the companies that keep us in order right now would like to keep everything the way it is the reason being is they're profiting off things being illegal. There's a lot of profit on drugs being illegal that are illegal currently.

It's not as simple as they would just sell them too and then they would make the money. Why wouldn't they make it legal? There's money to be made that will not be available once psychedelic drugs are legal. There's a lot of things that are for sale, especially pharmaceutical drugs, a huge amount that just making marijuana legal would just squash the market for a good percentage of pain relief. And, you know, glaucoma medication reduces interocular pressure. People on AIDS who have AIDS you can't eat people in chemotherapy that have a hard time eating all of that there's so many drugs that are prescribed for various ailments that literally

would be out of business and and so consider this take it to the human level this is where it gets fucked up we have access to certain mind states where you can bring back authentic information that can help your life and the life of the people around you. And there's a possibility that if enough people were having these mind states, there might be an acceleration in technology and acceleration in science and acceleration in philosophy. But because we can't get these mind states, we can't get these mind states. Things are slow and weird and dumb right now. And the reason we can't get these mind states things are slow and weird and dumb right now and the reason we can't get it is so that people can make more money okay well let me play devil's advocate please first off um there's a lot of people that think that a lot of hippies are fucking moochers

they mooch off the government they get welfare they get public aid they don't want to pull their share they don't want to pull their own weight a lot of people people think that these experiences that you say that will benefit people, they say, well, where's this evidence? Where's the evidence of anybody finding out anything worthwhile on psychedelics? Terrence McKenna? That doesn't mean anything. Francis Crick? Okay, that's a rumor after he died that was released,

is that he was a deathbed confession that he took LSD. No, he was good friends with Brave New World, Aldous Huxley. He was friends with fucking Huxley. Yeah, that's true. It's true. Dude, if you were friends with Huxley. But him saying, okay, that's true, that he took it,

but it doesn't, what the statement is is that he discovered the double helix strand. He figured it out while he was on LSD. That's all anecdotal. That's all deathbed confessions. He never said that anywhere. It's not written anywhere.

So just in fairness, I don't think you can directly attribute that to him. I've looked at the sources for that. It's possible that he said that, but I don't think you can state that he said that. I can't. I mean, in a court of law, I can't prove it, but being friends with Aldous Huxley,

a man who on his deathbed had himself injected with like 750 micrograms of LSD, being friends with that guy, that's like being friends with you and never having gotten stung. No, no, no. You're misunderstanding me. Yes, he probably did do LSD. Right. The question is, what did he get out of it? How do you know he didn't just hallucinate?

You know, there's no evidence. Dude, there's no evidence that it helped them in any way. Do you know what I'm saying? It's not like they pulled something out of it. There's nothing on paper. Right, exactly. There's nothing you can be like, look, here, see? There is one guy, Cary Mullis.

Cary Mullis, he was a Nobel Prize winning chemist. And he said that LSD had helped him develop a polymer's chain reaction that helps amplify specific DNA sequences. And he figured that out while he was on acid. Well, there's one. There's one. So there's one.

Can you read that again? Can you read that again, what he did? Okay. Here's the full thing. During a symposium held for Albert Hoffman, Hoffman revealed that he was told by Nobel Prize winning chemist, Cary Mullis, that LSD had helped him develop the polymers, I hope I'm saying this right, P-O-L-Y-M-E-R-A-S-E,

polymers, polymers? Anyway, chain reaction that helps amplify specific DNA sequences. What does that mean? I don't know. I'm too stupid for that. But the guy said, Kerry Mullis even admitted, what if I had not taken LSD ever?

Would I still have invented PCR? That was the method. Thank you. He says, I don't know. I doubt it. I seriously doubt it. That's what I'm saying, brother. That's why.

I'm saying there's a fucking group of people who've got their fucking claws dug into the force of evolution and they're trying to hold it back to make money. Okay, but of all the people that have done lsd one fucking guy says he figured one i've done an lsd over a hundred times i have not learned anything you are not the best example you're not a good example

man but have you learned have you learned something what what is it okay okay about yourself yes personal insight personal insight personal evolution growth remember what i'm doing though i am playing devil's advocate. I am a Republican with shiny shoes on, with black socks. And, you know, I'm the guy who is telling you that if you buy drugs, you support terrorism. Yeah, no, no, no. You tell me. One guy, one fucking guy says he invented a PCR method, which you don't even understand why it was on LSD.

Okay. Okay, so we should have LSD legal because one guy invented something? Well, not just lsd we should have all uh psychedelics mushrooms as well right but when you start throwing around the arts what about the arts devil's advocate again i'm just i know no i don't i'm not even seeing you now i'm just seeing cheney what about uh what about the fucking arts man what about a man does that not count for anything what what good l. What good LSD art do you know of? What's the best LSD art? Oh, just Jimi Hendrix. Well, okay.

Jimi Hendrix is more heroin, wasn't he? Heroin and cocaine. Wasn't he a heroin guy? Purple Haze. That's pot. The song Purple Haze. Isn't that pot? Dude, Jimi Hendrix was so into fucking LSD.

But Purple Haze, is that pot or is that LSD? Well, it is now. Purple Haze was acid? Back then, I don't know., it is now. It is now, but I don't know. Purple Haze was acid? Back then, I don't know. Well, I'm sure he did acid. Don't get me wrong. But do you think that that's why he was so good? I mean, wasn't he like really good when he was a kid?

Yeah, I think it helped. I mean, Jimi Hendrix is a badass fucking guitarist. I think it helped him. Okay. But this again. No, no, Joe, I know you're playing devil's advocate. I'm a Republican right now. First of all, being devil's advocate is the same thing as being friends with a pedophile.

I mean, you don't want to be devil's advocate. It's the worst force in the universe and always represents everything evil and bad and horrible. No, I take this side of an argument that doesn't currently exist at this table because I'm sure some people are screaming it out on Twitter right now. That's what devil's advocate is. I think, for sure,

psychedelics can help people, but what I think it is, is I think, essentially essentially we have access to supercomputers and there's no instruction manuals laying around and there's no teachers to teach you how to use these things so a lot of people are getting great results and they're all scattered and all over the board and they're mixed in with psychosis and bad trips and a lot of fucking freaky freaky things that have happened to people and they've taken the wrong shit and they got a hold of a fake computer.

There's a lot of people that are, and that is because there's a lack of regulation, because there's a lack of understanding, because there's a lack of appreciation for the true effects. As human beings, it is absolutely preposterous that so many people will tell you, like this Kerry Mullis guy or whether Francis Crick was telling you the truth

or whether you're telling me the truth or I'm telling you the truth or any you're telling me the truth or I'm telling you the truth or any of us that have had really positive experiences, there's way too many people that are saying that folks can benefit from it for it to stay illegal. The people that are stopping it, they don't make any more sense than us. It's not like they're the really wise

and cautious and noble and loving overlords that want to protect you from your own folly. That is not what's going on because they're talking in ignorant statements. Medically, it's ignorance. There's no evidence to back up what they're saying. There's no reason that it makes sense. And then when you start throwing numbers at their face, like the amount of nonviolent drug offenders that are in jail and how preposterous it is that our society exists where a bunch of people are doing what they want to do that doesn't hurt anybody else and someone decides to lock them in a cage for it well that person is who's doing more harm the guy who's smoking pot or the person who locks him in the fucking cage and destroys their life and does it because it's written on paper somewhere that that's okay yeah well that guy is

a destructive force the law becomes the destructive force in society not the drug when you say drugs kill people and drugs drugs are responsible for a million people in jail right now that's why i don't do drugs you won't get locked up no no no don't put people in cages because they don't agree with you because they like something they like it so much they're willing to risk freedom because they found themselves in some sort of a situation when they're in an environment that they have no control over whatsoever. They were born into this. They didn't ask to be dropped into this preposterous, illogical, nonsensical, ridiculously lopsided and corrupt society. And you just accept them to comply. You just expect them to comply with these stupid fucking things that are written down

on paper that everybody knows makes no sense well that's that's the problem the laws are the problem the laws are destructive the laws are anti-evolutionary the laws are they're anti-enlightenment that's the problem it's not the drug it's not pot it's not mushrooms it's the laws against pot and mushrooms those are a devastating aspect of our society those are not the drug. It's not pot. It's not mushrooms. It's the laws against pot and mushrooms. Those are a devastating aspect of our society. Those are not the fucking drugs. You dummies missed it. You missed the whole thing. You're not protecting anybody.

You fucks and anybody that hasn't done drugs. If you haven't done mushrooms fucking for sure, you shouldn't be a cop. No way, man. You're going to be in position of power with a gun and making decisions and you've never done any mushrooms at all. You've never had any look at yourself through the eyes of alien intelligence. You've never had some objective outside the body experience analyzing all the shitty aspects of your own life. How the fuck are you growing? How are you developing? Are you crawling along and one little

stumble after another and one little apology after another and one little breakup and makeup cycle after another after another where you scream insults at each other and then i'm sorry baby it'll never happen again i've learned my lesson is that what you're learning about yourself from your your you know shitty lonely nights eating tv dinners hoping that your chick's going to return your pager or your text message rather so you can pager that was preposterous was go back in time but that's what I'm saying. Getting someone to respond to you. Because you realize that being a cunt makes people not like you anymore. So that's how you grow.

Instead of seeing it in one big burst. All leaders, all cops, all teachers, all of them should have a psychedelic experience. Or they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. As a grown adult, if you haven't had a psychedelicic experience i look at you like you're some sort of an infant you do i look at you like you're infantile i look at you like a form of illiteracy yeah it is it is like a form of like awareness illiteracy yeah that that's it that's a great way to put it man awareness illiteracy and it's sad that for some reason they're keeping us they're keeping so many people illiterate but it's the practice well they are illiterate that's why they're doing it they

are suffering under their own control and their own or most of them are i mean there's a texas judge who just got arrested for fucking smoking weed oh really yeah somebody turned him in in a hotel room you know what man i think just fired him it's fucked up i think things are going to change man i mean they're like they've been saying that since the 30s. But they're letting the studies happen again. And if they're letting the studies happen again, there's some reason behind that. I mean, the studies are happening. They're allowing them to happen for the first time in, I think, 30 or 40 years. They're opening them up again.

This government is dangerously suppressive. Dangerously suppressive. And not so much with civil liberties, or rather with medical marijuana and things along those lines. But that's because it's democratic when the ball goes in the opposite court think about how much power has been given to the government under this this democratic regime right if we got another bush cheney in office and they started cracking down like john ashcroft did on the medical marijuana places and using losing black water to come in mercenaries with fucking machine guns on their hips and and taking all the pot and money away. If that shit starts happening again,

think about how much power Obama has given the government. It's ridiculous. It's really disgusting and preposterous. I mean, if you look at the Huffington Post, there's an article by this guy named Jim Garrison, and it's martial law by executive order, not to be confused with Jim Garrison, that thought that Lee Harvey Oswald didn't kill Kennedy.

Remember that guy, the prosecutor? Anyway, this Obama, you know, he passed the National Defense Organization, the NDAA. There's a new executive order called the National Defense Resources Preparedness Executive Order. And it does to the contrary as a whole what the 2012 National Defense Authorization Act did to the Constitution in particular, completely eviscerates any due process or judicial oversight for any action by the government deemed in the interest of national security. So they can just say something. National security, essentially we're under martial law. Like they can just say, it's up to the government now. All the checks and balances that were put in place by the Constitution

to ensure that there would be no corruption, there would be no ultimate power corrupting ultimately, well, they've removed all that shit. And, you know, right now everybody's like, look, but you're fine. No one's dying. Nothing's happening. The people that you say yes to today may not be the people you say yes to 10 years from now or 20 years from now and these laws are crazy these laws are that we might as well be living in fucking north korea and that's not ridiculous that's not an exaggeration

these are unconstitutional laws and they're not going to stop now they're going to go more and more and with more and more control until until ultimately the government, which has, by the way, approved the idea of sending drones. They're going to, within, by 12, I think it was 1220, they're going to have, or 2020 rather, they're going to have 30,000 drones in the sky above North America. Yeah, I heard about that. Come on, constantly watching everything you do. Well, did you, have you seen that YouTube video of the swarms of quadrocopters?

Have you seen that? No. Dude, look that up. Google quadrocopter swarm. Pull that no dude look that up google quadrocopter pull it up brian holy shit man this what is it um it's so there are these things called quadrocopters that they're working on that are just like exactly like the toys that you see but much smaller these fucking things man they can like they move in formation it's this video of them flying in formation just this swarm of tiny little nano or uh tiny quadrocopters they can like they could like turn sideways to go through windows they're like they can go anywhere man so and they but the scary thing that i never considered was that they can fucking fly in formation that's where it gets weird when you imagine like just

seeing like a swarm of these things descending around your house or checking you out on the street. You're just walking down the street and they come and buzz in. Do a quick facial scan to get your fucking face. Match it up with whatever Facebook's doing. Bang. They know where you are. They know where you live. They know where you're moving.

Yeah, so privacy is a... It's an escaping thing. It's on its way out. But the problem is the government, these cunts that are running things, are going to have so much more power than the average citizen. We're going to be under the rule of an oppressive government that has the law on their side

because they changed all the fucking paper. They changed all the stupid shit that's written down that allows them to do cunty things. They changed it all and they put it all in their defense. And essentially what they did is the United States is now under martial law, but there's no emergency. no emergency no emergency doesn't have to have a national emergency to just be under martial law now we're just under martial law why why is that what the fuck is going on part of it has got to be because they're losing control that's got to be part of it they feel like the

internet and you know all this anonymous shit and the hackers and Occupy. That's not it. What is this? Spell it out for them. Quadra. I think it's Q-U-A-D-R-A. Copter. That's what it is. Quadrocopter Swarm. Maybe someone will tweet it.

Someone tweeted it to me. It freaked me out for a week. I showed it to Eddie Bravo at the UFC, and his face went white. He just was like, what the fuck? Swarm of nano-quadros? That's it. It's nano-quadrators. Yeah, there we go.

Oh, shit. Look at that. Just watch. It gets better. That's just one of these fucking things. Get ready, man. Those things are probably going to eat your baby one day. Ooh, that sound.

When you hear that sound, you know you're about to get busted well they just fly around maneuver surprised you haven't seen multiple vehicles can fly as a formation oh my god this is terrifying. Gross. It's going to sound like NASCAR all over the place. Yeah, we're living in the future. This is really fucking nuts.

That's awesome. This is really nuts. Yeah. This is really nuts, man. We developed a method to transition between formations in 3D. Folks, you have to see this, because what you're not seeing is these guys are moving in perfect geometrical patterns.

They move in these formations, and they're showing it from overhead, and it's amazing. Their precision is incredible. This is terrifying. Terrifying. And by the way, this is only like version one.

You know, this is like the first iPhone. Wait till they get smaller, man. Wait till they get smaller. This is incredible. I wonder how long they can stay in the air for. Oh my God.

Look at that. They're moving in a figure eight, a perfect figure eight. Oh my God. This is spectacular. This is really scary stuff. Scary shit, man. Now look at them them building look up quadrocopter building uh a structure yeah they can build shit man they can actually like pick shit up and start like like gluing it build they can actually build structures that's

amazing that's what kurzweil was talking about man because when those things shrink down enough so that they can like imagine like just a pile of fucking Legos and a shitload of those fucking things and they could actually form matter. That's where it gets really cool. Jesus Christ. Think about that forming matter. That's where it gets weird when you've got a computer directing swarms of those things to construct architecture that humans couldn't even make, you know, like weird fucking geometries

that can only happen when a computer's in control of the building process. If it ever gets to that point, it might be that you just start fucking killing people. Well, that's a funny thing, man. People always say that about computers, where they're like, they're just gonna kill us, but I guess it's, I don't think it's gonna be the computers,

it would be the things controlling them. Like, people automatically assume when the machine inevitably wakes up It's gonna want to it's gonna want to kill us, but we're a plague You know if it looked at the environment's living in and realized that this massive of overpopulating or entity That's spilling all its bullshit into the sea and eating all the fucking animals that live in it And then they'll just calculate how long can this last well it can't can't at this rate. So they'll just start eating the cunts. No, man.

I don't think that's how it fucking works. Maybe it would be great. Maybe we would eliminate cunts. No, I don't even... Just pull people out of the sky. Just cunts just get sucked out of the sky. Like, they're watching. Yeah.

They're watching everything. That'll be... The machines are watching everything. And when you litter, and when you're a shithead, and when you beat your wife, you just get sucked out of the sky. You get downvoted. Yeah, you get a certain number of negatives. Downvotes, like on Reddit.

If you get as a person a certain number of downvotes, they carry you into space. Yeah, your rep points. You get blocked by a certain amount of people. Yeah, blocked. Is this them building this thing? Yeah. Oh, my God.

This is incredible. It's like lolly shit. What a fucking thing, man. Well, the thing that they're building is this enormous Lego building that's really cool looking. Those blocks have glue on them or something. And by the way, this is just the beginning of that shit. Yep. That's going to be, that didn't exist 20 years ago.

There was no hope of that 20 years ago. 20 years from now, woo! But dude, check this out. Have you ever seen the video of that, there's a machine that you can take to the desert that someone made. It's solar powered because there's so much energy. And it focuses the energy of the sun in the desert to turn sand into blocks. It can burn sand into blocks. So now imagine this.

Combine those fucking things with solar panels and a thing that can infinitely, can use an infinite amount of sand in the desert to make blocks those things could fly out in the fucking desert and make infinitely gigantic structures with endless fucking energy just the combination of those two technologies at the rudimentary level that they're at now if we could fucking figure out how to make them solar powered yeah solar is really interesting it's like it's kind of like it's hit a wall in a lot of ways so what are you what are you doing i googled uh solar power sand blocks and it came with minecraft solar power is not really strong enough for a lot of shit right now for most people can't like have all their

electricity through solar power you use like a lot of people use like i have a friend who uses a combination of solar and wind and he actually actually develops enough from that. He lives in Oregon. He develops enough from that that he actually sells it back to the grid, which I don't understand. That's so strange. How do you do that? I don't understand it. Yeah, I don't get it. How do you do it?

Sell electricity back? He sells it back. They pay him. Yeah, there's a meter on it that regulates it going in, but you can also have it fitted so it regulates how much it's going out. Yeah, so he adds, you know, so the local power plant or whatever is supplying them power doesn't have to work as hard that's so fucking weird man crazy you can turn wind into money well have you ever been there's certain parts of california where we uh we have filmed some fear factors where they have these um these huge like

they look like a farm of these wind things these windmills like a windmill farm and there's a shitload of them just sitting up on a hill. And they power the area. I don't know how much they power, how many structures, how many buildings. But it's enough that a lot of shit is getting powered by the wind. Yeah, I've seen those. It's really a trip. Well, it's really windy out there, too.

So it's a smart thing to do. Like, even as you come, like, out here towards pasadena and you head up to 210 and when you go through that whole mountainy passy area where it's like you lose your cell phone signal fucking beautiful out there yep windy as fuck a lot of people have like real wind problems even out here like remember when uh they had a problem really recently the wind knocked down a lot of power cables and pasadena got fucked pasadena got fucked by by wind i got trapped here i couldn't even leave the place fuck why wind from the wind was too bad i like seriously the street out front here was uh trees flying down the street uh things off flying off uh the roofs like metal things and

ironings and so you stayed in i couldn't even get to my car it was too scary man it was like it was death it was deadly outside it was like being in a tornado. Wow. No. No, seriously. It was really bad. Nothing like a tornado. Next time you go out in this back door over here, look at the billboard.

This billboard was just ripping apart, and it was like this super old billboard, and it was shaking like this, and things were just flying off of it. That's really powerful, but it's nothing like a fucking tornado. and things were just flying off of it. That's really powerful, but it's nothing like a fucking tornado. There's been tornadoes that were hit cities in the middle of the night and literally made the city disappear, especially towns, like small towns in the middle of nowhere. You know what?

They say that the heat of cities actually prevents tornadoes. It's just all the structure and the way it's built and the heat coming off of it apparently doesn't work in cities. Do you believe any of that weather control shit they talk about like um what's the name of like that chemtrails yeah man you know like no they need eddie bravo on here for this conversation you know they do you believe in that like they've been they've been trying to like actually can i know they do it like in china don't they like they've been playing around trying to make it rain and like you can put certain particles into the air that

actually makes it rain um well they're silver oxide or something like it's yeah some kind of weird yeah they're well they for sure have done that um in Abu Dhabi they did it more than 50 times last year I think they did it once a week last year they made it rain yeah I don't remember what the exact chemical they use but there's something where they can line the crowds with uh something silver i don't remember what it is but um they they line the clouds with this shit and it makes it rain so it's so odd to think about nickel it's so nickel i don't know but it's really fucking odd to think about the fact that they're just starting to learn to control the weather they're just starting to learn to control the weather they're just starting to learn to control the weather they're just starting to learn to have endless amounts of

energy so if we were to evolve and advance without blowing each other up we would eventually be we could eventually be a planet that has full control of its weather patterns cloud seeding can actually be done by ground generators a plane or can be done by a rocket weird yeah Wow silver iodide dry ice solid carbon dioxide Wow that Pasadena storm was 80 miles per hour a f1 tornado, 73 miles per hour. So it's pretty close. It's faster than an F1. What?

Yeah. It's how fast? F1 starts at 73 miles per hour, and that Pasadena storm is 80 miles per hour. Oh, I thought you had them reversed. So it's faster than a tornado? It was like an F1 tornado. Really? Yeah.

That doesn't even make sense. Well, there's different levels of tornadoes. Oh, so there's like bitch-ass tornadoes that don't even kill anybody? Well, not really bitch-ass. That would make them good tornadoes. That's a good tornado, Joe. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah, it's like the beginning of a hurricane winds. They've even used liquid propane to make it rain. Expands into a gas has also been used. This can produce ice crystals at higher temperatures than silver iodide. The use of hygroscopic materials such as salt is becoming more popular after promising research. Seeding of cows requires that they contain supercooled liquid water, that is, liquid water colder than 0 degrees Celsius. The introduction of a substance such as

silver iodide, which has crystalline structure similar to that of ice, will induce freezing nucleation. Dry ice or propane expansion cools the air to such an extent that the ice crystals can nucleate spontaneously from the vapor phase. Wow, this is crazy

shit. Dude, in the future. People are terrified. Dude, in the fucking future, you might be able to send your personal nanobot swarm out of your house, into the clouds above your house, and make a little personal thundershower happen above your house. Yeah, you probably will be able to. That's how much we're gonna...

But it probably pulls water from farmers. You know, it's probably like... I mean, where does that... Like, when you go to a place like abu dhabi which is in the desert and then all of a sudden they're making it rain yeah what are they doing where's that water coming from somebody else getting fucked over but i don't know but anyway does that other person deserve that water i mean who fucking deserves the water the smart man who figures out how to pull it out of the sky or some shithead just camps out next to it. Like, this is my water. Hope I get lucky. This is where my water is.

It's only mine. I found this spot in the dirt and I claim it. No, I think the guy who pulls it out of the sky should win. For sure. Fuck that stupid club. Well, anyone who can make it rain. Sitting next to the puddle. Yeah.

So there is some cloud seeding. It's real. It's science. Whether or not that shit is happening in Burbank every day, like Eddie Bravo thinks it is. Right. Yeah, that's when it gets tricky. That's not it.

Yeah. What do you think it is? Fucking airplanes. That's all it is. Contrails. I mean, it's funny because it's always near an airport. Like, I live in Burbank. I see it all the time because I live by Burbank Airport.

Well, that's because, dude, you don't even understand. The government is spraying the skies. I just want to know who the pilots are. So there are these pilots who are flying over the city, and they're like, let's dump poison on you. I don't think they're doing it for the good of the country. They think they're creating clouds for us. I don't think they're doing it as much as people think they are.

Go make clouds, Johnny. I think it's once every three months. We have to pay money on skin cancer, And it's way cheaper if we have clouds everywhere We gotta cover it up We don't want sunburns to happen I think what I've read And what's been explained to me by pilots Is that under certain conditions

There's a certain amount of moisture in the air And it gets churned up in the Turbines of a jet engine And it comes out looking like clouds And it stays in the sky for a while Can I tell you what the real fucking conspiracy is do I figured it out? Oh my god It's the conspiracy of all conspiracies. What is it's your inability to stop your hand from putting shit into your mouth That's the conspiracy do it

It's the fact that people can't control their fucking hand and are always shoving poison into their mouth and eating shitty things and smoking shitty things and taking bad pills this is gonna be profound I feel like that is profound man I can remember talking to a guy who believed in Kim trails some fucking have some discipline well that's what I'm saying I was talking to a guy who believed in Kim trails and he was smoking a cigarette while he was telling me about the poisons that the government's dumping oh yeah well michael rupert we had michael rupert in here he's smoking like crazy talking about conspiracies it's like alex jones smoke you're poisoning yourself man you're killing yourself like maybe there is some kind of like evil external force that's

trying to destroy you but really you're the one shoveling the poison into your fucking, into your pie hole. Yeah, for sure it's gonna kill you. You're aiding them by bringing these troops into your body, saying, one day I'm gonna fight them off, but not now. Right now, I just need this fucking Sig to try to figure out how I'm gonna beat

these motherfuckers. Time for my fourth cupcake. Oh, this is good. Gonna drink. Let's have 17 beers today. Well, again, I think it comes back to what we were talking about earlier about the Native Americans having a much better sense of their connection with the food that they're eating. And that for us, that whole hunter-gatherer thing is out the window. I go to the Vons and I pick up meat and I go to get myself a nice salad and that's it.

I didn't have to pick anything. I didn't have to get my water in bottles because all the water is poison you know you can't drink it people die occasionally yeah totally dude it's just so funny though that so many people writhing in physical discomfort because they're too fat or they don't exercise or they don't eat right or upset about a conspiracy that the government is is involved in that's trying to take a take away their happiness or their freedom or or dumb them down it's like no no you don't exercise you eat at mcdonald's you smoke cigarettes your house is fucking filthy that's the shit you should worry about first fix that conspiracy solve that problem like stop that conspiracy

from happening and then worry about the fucking chemtrails yeah i've been obsessed lately with this finding bigfoot show i've been watching the show left and right and it leads me to sometimes you know stone tweets in the middle of the night like mocking them and everybody and myself and you know how fucking stupid i am for watching this show. But it is a psychological study. And one of the psychological studies is, who are these people that are believing in Bigfoot? Who are these people that are leading these guys? And this is what we saw.

And we're standing here, and it comes out. And they never ask these dudes. They never go, okay, what do you think about ghosts? Right. Do you believe in UFOs? Yeah. What about psychics? Do you, you know, how do you feel about, you know, what do you think?

Do you think chemtrails are real? Right. Like, what do you think happened in Area 51? What do you think is in Hangar 18? Get to the bottom of what the messenger is. Because a lot of times the messenger who's giving you this really crazy, preposterous, outrageous story, they lean towards that shit. They want that shit to be real. They might not even be lying. But they might be just seeing shit in the woods just because they're fucking wired for that.

They want to see it. They want wired for that they want to see it they want to believe they they want to and they can't be fucking trusted when they go to these the finding bigfoot they go to these local town halls and shit they go all right who here has seen a sasquatch and these motherfuckers raise their hands and i'm like you are i'm like you assholes are missing the whole real show the whole real show show, it can't be done by them because they are the people that they're, the whole real show

is a bunch of fucking people that want to believe in Bigfoot so bad. They're out in the woods and that's a Squatch. That was definitely a Squatch. They yell out. They're yelling out

in the fucking woods screaming at the top of their lungs. And then they hear something. Do you hear that? Hear something knock? Something's knocking. They hear like, who knows what?

It could be a producer throwing a rock. That's a Squatch. That's definitely a Squatch. This is Squatch country. That's a Squatch. What else do you believe in, dude? What do you do at night when you go to bed? What is going on in your mind?

What are you hoping for? Do you believe in aliens? What do you believe? What are you hoping for? Do you believe in aliens? What do you believe? Do you believe in ghosts? Do you believe in vampires? Are vampires real? How much other crazy shit do you believe in? I think that it's more logical to believe in aliens than to believe in Bigfoot.

Not necessarily. Bigfoot is a... First of all, Jane Goodall was a firm believer in Bigfoot and actually stated that, you know, famous primate expert, stated that it must be real, that there's too many sightings of the same animal all over the world and it is very possible that there is enough area that hasn't been discovered or is too densely wooded that it'd support a large primate like that

if it was intelligent and new to hide from people. There's 250 different names for it in North America, in the American Indian language. That's big because there's not a lot of shit that's not real that There's 250 different names for it in North America, in the American Indian language. That's big. Because there's not a lot of shit that's not real that they don't have names for. And it's based on a real animal. We're going to get a guy in here that's a fucking expert on it,

which means nothing. What does that mean? I'm an expert on some shit that's probably not real anymore. Gigantopithecus, right? This is going to be great, because I'm the Loch Ness Monster. You are? Of California, yeah. Of California?

Did you get a license for that? No, I have Photoshop. This is going to be great because I'm the Loch Ness Monster of California. Of California? Did you get a license for that? No, I have Photoshop. I think it comes with Photoshop. If you look at the stories that have gone back to a long, long fucking time in history, for sure some people saw bears, they shit their pants, they thought it was a person, and they made up a story. For sure, sometimes people remember things. In our own lives, we know this.

My mom is terrible at remembering things that really happened. I'll tell my mom something. That didn't happen. I know it happened. I was there. I remember it. For sure it happened. But she will swear.

I mean, you show her pictures of it, and she'll go, huh, well, I don't remember that. Now, when we did that game show on my head show, and I told you we got people to talk about UFOs, got them to make up a UFO story because we pretended to be a news guy that had gotten there too late. Would you mind pretending that you saw the UFO? People just started talking, man. Just so excited they were going to get on television.

And when I'm watching this stupid Bigfoot show and I'm looking at these people trouncing through the woods, I'm looking at a bunch of people that are lonely they don't have any real purpose in their life there's these people that don't have real good friends this one weird guy with his poor fucking kid and his kid was like my dad might be crazy sitting here talking about we saw a Bigfoot together what the fuck did we really see my dad's a liar my dad's claiming he saw a Bigfoot and then the kids sort of lying along with it you could watch them you look at the insincerity in their words they had a guy on the other day just gay as fuck just beyond gay just a crazy flock of

seagulls haircut lisp everything wandering through the woods seeing bigfoot you know like sure you did dude you're crazy. You insane asshole. I can't believe that show exists, man. It sounds hilarious. It's like Ghost Hunters. It's so bad. Exactly like Ghost Hunters in that all those shows feature night vision and nothing. That's all you need.

It's the same thing. It's just a house and night vision. It seems creepy. Yeah, I was having a Twitter exchange with this chick the other day, and we were going off about how combine the two shows and just make it a porno, and that's really what it is. It's a bunch of lonely people. Night vision, unkempt pubes, fatty, sweaty bodies, and night vision loads.

Loneliness, dude. They're all pretending to hear things. I heard something. Come in here real quick. And then they fuck. They get in a corner in the darkness, and they just, I think I heard something. I think you're fingering me.

Yeah, you like that? You think that'll keep the ghosts away? Yes, I do. I think it'll keep the ghosts away if you suck my cock. Yeah. Scare them. Scare them with your boldness. And then they fuck in the darkness.

They fuck in the dark. And then the guy has to get away again. Then they, you know, after the guy comes, he's like, I just fucking heard something for real. Holy shit, I'm not kidding now. And he runs out of the room. That's how they get out of it. Because after you come, you know, the girl wants to cuddle. He's like, we can't cuddle.

We're in the fucking, we're in a haunted house. I heard something. Jesus, it's real. And he just runs. She's like, you didn't hear shit. Give me the night vision. She can't see. She's stuck in the fucking basement in the corner.

And this guy like, come on. I'll tell you, warmer. You're getting towards the door. Warmer. Give me the night vision. I can't fucking see. Boom. She hits the wall, starts screaming.

No more pussy for him. That's a weird show, Joe. They pretend to hear things. What was that? What was that? How many of those shows have they said, what was that? What was that? What was that?

It was you being a crazy asshole alone either in the woods or in a basement, either looking for Bigfoot or a ghost. Dude, fuck all that shit. Think about the fact that the Catholic Church still does exorcisms. Think about that shit, dude. Fucking Catholic priests. Well, right now there's probably a priest in somebody's house getting a demon out of somebody's body.

Think about that. Fucking Bigfoot, fine. Aliens, fine. There's guys dressed as god clowns waving around symbols in front of little kids' faces to try to get imaginary demons to go out of them. What's really amazing is there's way more priests out there

fucking kids than there are doing exorcists. Yeah, you're right! That's fucked up, man. That's a fucked up statistic. We need to figure out if that's true, man. Oh, for sure it is. For sure it is. So there's more priests molesting kids than they are getting the demons out of kids.

Well, we were talking about on the podcast with Joey, we were talking about how people who run martial arts schools, often it's very culty. And the guy who is at the head is the master and is almost beyond reproach. And that a lot of times weird sexual shit happens because of that. Because it becomes like a cult. Well, that is exactly what happens in the catholic church and even like in martial arts schools like people try to keep things under wraps like there's always like dark secrets of this guy fucking the students and you know fucking one of his uh students who's married and you know the husband finds out about there's always those kind of scandals very cult-like

and with every real controlling cult there's an element of sexuality. Absolutely. And it's usually creepy. It's not like a peace, love, everyone polyamorous, whether sexual or non. Everything is just about nonjudgmental affection. No, no, no. Most of it's not. Most of it's creepy.

It's victim sex. Dude, and then think about this. Take it back to the story that it comes from, whether it's real or not. The story the Catholic Church comes from, name one guy dressed like a gnome in that story. Name one guy wearing a big golden flowing cape and holding a funny thing and marching around with fucking purple velvet on and fucking walking around on red carpets and giant golden palaces. Where? Find that in the New Testament.

Find anything even remotely like the rituals outside the Holy Communion. Find anything. It's fucking... Especially all the audacious use of gold and money and spending. Think about all the different gigantic Roman Coliseum. The other,

the other where the Sistine chapel or think of any of the things that the construction in Rome, any of the stuff that's at the Vatican, that's like a really elaborate, expensive, gaudy, non-Christian shit. Think of what else could have been done with all that energy.

But they're like, you know what? Yeah. Jesus wanted us to have a beautiful giant golden palace where I could sit and fuck kids. That's all he had. That's what Jesus wanted. Jesus wants me to fuck kids on red velvet.

Yeah, it's just what he wants. That's the story. And so, like, so it's very odd. By the way, this attitude is really offending a lot of people on Twitter. There's a lot of Christians that have sent me texts saying i wish you would remind me or at least warn us that before you go on these horrible anti-christian rants that destroy our culture oh no no see i'm not talking about christianity i'm talking about the cult of loon loon which is talking about christianity that's not no no no i know what you got you're pushing your loon loon that's not my

you're gonna sell t-shirts you sell loon loon t- That's not my idea. Are you going to sell t-shirts? Are you selling loon loon t-shirts soon? Not a bad idea. No, you're selling posters. I am selling posters. Not a bad idea selling the fucking t-shirts, though. But no, man. It's not my loon loon brand. It's the fucking church's brand. I would never take it from them. But dude, that's not what I view as real Christianity.

Because if you look at a lot of the Christianity that some people follow, it's based on a lot of the Christianity that some people follow, it's based on a lot of the writings of somebody named Paul, who never met Jesus. He was a persecuted Christian, and he was walking on the road to Damascus, and saw a vision. His name was Saul of Tarsus, and he saw a vision of Jesus. Jesus appeared in the sky and said, Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? And at that moment, Saul was filled with the glory of the Lord, and he was blinded, and he wandered and found some Christians, found him, and his name became Paul, and he was the founder of the modern Christian church, and he wrote all these letters about what it is to be in the spirit of Christ and to be with

Christ, but he never met God outside of in that vision. So essentially he was like Jimmy Swaggart, but a long time ago, remember when Swaggart was at Swaggart or Pat Robertson saw the 90 foot tall Jesus. I don't know, but he had a vision. This Paul,

the Paul Tarsus had, had a vision and I don't know, I don't know which one, but yeah, that's where it came from. It wasn't from the original teachings. You know, the original teachings don't,

I'm sorry if I'm offending people. It's really weird, though, that, oh, it was Oral Roberts. Oral Roberts. He had a 900-foot-tall Jesus in 1977, which is when he would have been around. That was when 900-foot-tall Jesus was touring this part of the galaxy. Touring the fucking galaxy, man. And coming to Oral Roberts in the middle of the desert and showing himself. But it's really interesting to think about that when you realize that it's like,

so a lot of people call what's after the Gospels, the epistles, which a lot of them call that Paulian theology. It's not Christianity. It's based on, because here's the big problem that Christians ran into. In many verses in the Bible, Jesus said, before some of you die, I'm going to be back. And he didn't come back. And some of the disciples started dying. And then it's like, wait a minute, he's not coming back. What are we going to do? And they had to reorganize shit and turn it into something that was like,

that made more sense, which is to deal with this, some basic problems and what Christ, if he existed in that story, said was going to happen. You know, and now we've got the bank robber syndrome. You know that, right? It's the bank robber thing. What? When somebody robs a bank, they say, everybody get on the fucking ground and don't move. I'm going to walk out of here and I'm going to come back in two minutes.

And if any of you have moved, I'm going to blow your fucking brains out. This is what a bank robber does when he's robbing a bank. This is what Jesus did when he said, I'm going to be back really soon. And if anyone's misbehaving, you're going to hell forever. Right. And that's been going on for a long fucking time, man. And it's probably going to keep going on and on and on. And each time it advances down a generation, it gets weirder and weirder and weirder. So now we've got a guy dressed like a fucking gnome feeling totally cool sitting in a golden throne when there's people all

over the planet starving and somehow that guy is a disciple of a person who went around saying love your neighbor as yourself and love the lord your god with all your heart mind and soul by the way clear evidence that he harbored child molesters clear evidence that he right derailed investigations and moved people around when he was uh whatever the fuck he was a bishop or whatever the fuck he was when he was doing this yeah he was in phoenix yeah ratzinger you cunt i mean imagine a creepy bitch have you ever seen the pictures of him with um the the male gymnasts the acrobats i thought i honestly still think that that was CGI'd in because my brain can't... It's fake, right? That's not real.

No, it's totally real. How did Pope, how did all that, how did Catholicism become the leading sort of power worldwide of Christianity? Because there's all the other forms of Christianity, they seem to be much more scattered. There's not like one heavy-duty dude

at the head of it like Catholicism. Who's the main guy in Episcopalian? Who's the main guy in the Baptists? Do they have bishops? There's no main guy like the Catholic Pope. There is a hierarchy in the Episcopal Church. Yeah, but nothing like the... You know what I'm saying?

Worldwide recognized the Pope is the top dog. How did that get to be the strongest, most powerful form of Christianity? Which is, by the way, also the most nuts, the most fucking crazy, judgmental, the most guilt-ridden, injecting horrible feelings of sorrow into little boys' heads because they touch their penis. Joe, is there a statistic on what percentage of priests molest kids? No one knows. It's like 89%, I think it was. No, I priests molest kids? No one knows. It's like 89%, I think it was. No, I think it would know.

No one knows. But we must know a certain number of them. I don't think they do. It is something that comes up all the time. I don't think they know. But is there a number of priests that have gotten incarcerated for molesting kids? What's that number? How many is it?

97, I think. 97? 97%. 97%. Don't listen to him. Listen to who you're talking to. 20% of the allegations, the priest was deceased. Let's see.

I'm just curious if there's an actual number. It can't be. What percentage of priests abuse? Okay. Let's see. What do they think here? They don't know, man. Well, there's certainly a certain number of priests who've been

charged i mean i know that their stories come up so there's got to be some number i'm just wondering how many whoa what oh okay it's only four they're concluding there i thought it said 40 holy shit i my brain blipped for a second it concluded that four about four percent of the u.s priests since 1950 have been accused of sexual abuse of children. Okay. However, here's the caveats. There are probably many victims who remain silent and not yet come forward to accuse their abusers. There are probably some adults who have come forward to accuse priests who have false recovered memories of abuse that never happened.

So, it could be both ways. There may be some adults who knowingly falsely accused innocent priests of abuse, but dude imagine this Imagine if 4% of people who work at Apple stores have been accused of molesting kids Yeah, I use that on stage before you said that NASCAR drivers I was saying a master or organization of NASCAR drivers running around right circles with their cars and then fucking kids You know we would say that we don't need NASCAR. This is ridiculous I'm sure that 4% of Apple employees probably molest kids because they're the computer nerds. They don't get laid.

That's not even funny. No, I'm being serious there. No, 4% of Apple employees don't fuck kids, dude. It's a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny percentage of people in the whole world who are child molesters. It's really small. The problem is when it happens, it's fucking devastating. So if it's one in a community of a million people, that's a lot.

If it's one in a thousand, it's a lot. Have you looked at the app that shows you all of them here? There's like 300 in Burbank. Yeah, well, how many millions of people live in Burbank? Not millions, I don't think. How many people do you think live in Burbank? Let's say population of Burbank. I'm going to go 500,000.

I'm going to do Syria. Oh, boy. This is something I've been trying to figure out for years. I can't wait to hear the answer. What is the population of Burbank, California? 103,340. This might answer your question. Yeah.

Yeah, I got you, bitch. 103,340 in 2010. So, out of that, how many pedos are in Burbank? Isn't that a song? It should be. Some hipster song. Some ironic hipster song about pedos. Yeah, I would probably say 400.

There's an uncomfortable number of people that have fucked kids. That's unquestionable. Any number, yeah. It's all pretty disgusting and terrifying, really. That's one of the first things that we should eradicate because that's something that fucks a kid up for the rest of their life. And then if they lash out and start doing it on new kids, then they

become, we talked about this, that it's like a vampire. It's like real vampires. You actually do infect someone and make them what you are, a monster. It transmits itself and it's been being transmitted for a fucking long time, man. It's been being transmitted for generations. It's such a gross thing. It's such a gross thing.

It's such a broken thing. And it has roots in primate behavior. That's what's really fucked up about it. Sexuality is so strange. And in our world, it's so unnatural because we're actually covering our bodies up. We hide our genitals. We have this weird sort of a combinatory lifestyle of natural animal urges mixed with this higher self and consciousness and language and the awareness of the impact of your words and deeds

and physical acts on other people and that you're putting out a negative energy and a negative vibe, and we discourage that in our communities and discourage that in our laws. Yes. But the reality is we have these urges to fuck, and they're not regulated. discourage that in our communities and discourage that in our you know in our laws yes but the reality is we have these fucking these urges to fuck and they're not regulated they're not like no one's like recognizing that like hey you know we need to like why is prostitution bad someone explain that to me if someone you know needs money and someone has a mouth you know and they go you

know what i can make a lot of money with this mouth and what what is worse working at wendy's for a week and making 300 or sucking guy's dick for 10 minutes and making 500 right and a lot of people will go i would rather suck this guy's dick and this guy he's some poor guy who's horny you know and it's like you give him a a mouth massage on his dick and he he blows a load in your mouth and he's so happy. Oh my God, he's so released. Like that was so good. And he gives you a hundred dollar tip. Now you made 600 bucks. Why is that bad? I don't, I'm not sure. Why is it okay to do that for free? How come if she meets that guy and she likes him, she blows him and it's the greatest thing that ever happened. Then that's fine. But if she meets that guy and you know, he's like, listen, I have 500 bucks and I would like to get my dick sucked and I know you're hard on money and you want to make a deal, why is that bad?

Well, yeah. What are you wowing? I just found a website that tells you how many sex offenders are in each city in Los Angeles. And it's pretty shocking at the highest numbered one. All right. So Burbank has 1,87575 sex offenders that's more than one percent yeah beverly hills wasn't it yeah beverly hills is the highest really with 4903 which is weird because beverly hills there's more people that live in burbank and then beverly hills right

that's a good question um so weird so is it. Yeah. So money equals. That's kind of weird. Pasadena here. We got. Beverly Hills pedophiles. 1,306. Yeah, because I mean, there's like Beverly Hills. The houses are spread apart. There's not as many people crammed in.

Yeah, there's only 34,000 people living in Beverly Hills. Wow. And they have 4,903. You guys, we have figured out two crazy fucking things in this podcast. Number one, Coca-Cola is making the majority of cocaine in the world. And number two, Beverly Hills is filled with pedophiles. Holy shit. Wow.

That's groundbreaking shit, man. That's crazy. We need to spark up and think about this. This is just too heavy. Oh, we might actually have people coming here for the next show. Whatever with those faggots. Do you want to eat? I'm not supposed to say faggots anymore.

I apologize. Can't say it anymore, man. You banned that word. I did. But when it's my friends, every now and then I'll slip one out. And plus they're all retarded. It sounds great. You know what actually got me saying it a couple times just to my friends?

It's goddamn Stanhope's new CD. Really funny, by the way. Yeah. Before turning the gun on himself, it's called It's Really CD. Really funny, by the way. I bet. Yeah. Before Turning the Gun on Himself. It's so funny. It's really good. Great title. I think it's Stanhope's best work, but he says faggot in it a couple times.

I'm like, God, I missed that word. Yeah. Beautiful word. It's just, the problem is, it's associated as a gay slur. And even though I have a lot of pro-gay stuff in my act, especially now, I have a lot of, still, you can't say it. You can't. You can't say it right can't you can't say

it right now man you just can't i never liked it it's a great word i like calling my animals you didn't like it because you got called it a few too many times i set you up for that one but no that's not why it's fucking such a shitty it's like always coming out of the mouth of fucking dopey fucking rednecks in the backs of school buses and just dipshits playing fucking Xbox. They ruined it, the fucks. Yeah, they ruined it. It could have had some use. My 40th birthday cake, Joey Diaz, Ari Shaffir got me a fucking birthday cake that said happy birthday, faggot.

It was beautiful. It was beautiful. You know what? It seems like back then it was okay to actually say that was like only like four years ago when i put my special out it changed while i was doing my special weird weird coming it out they had a real problem using the word faggot well i remember when we were just in texas and saying retard like that was shocking you can't really use retard either right now that's that was weird a retard became a problem in Austin. Retard's in the vaults. Yeah, Austin.

When we were in Austin, they said you gotta stop with the retard. It became a problem. Yeah. Political correctness is fucking completely ridiculous. What's important is intent. I heard tranny's the new word. Tranny? Tranny.

Shut up. Yeah. You can't say tranny? Yeah, people were telling me the other day that tranny's the new word. Come on. I don't believe that. Yeah. Oh, I wouldn't. They can never take away that tranny's the new word. Come on. I don't believe that. Yeah. Oh, I wouldn't.

They can never take away our tranny. No, you know what? I believe it because I've seen someone say in someone accusing someone of being a homophobe, they said something about them upsetting the lesbian, gay, it was like LGBTQ. I go, by, I go, i go q i go wait a minute i go lesbian lesbian gay transsexual transvestite q what's q which one's that queer queer queer is a totally obscure one they don't want to define it Like they might like guys They might like girls

They might be bi They might be weird They're queer Whatever the fuck they are What is that? How can you Is that the most ambiguous Definition ever of a sexuality

Is queer? Queer It's all It's all super gay Thank you Frank But that's when people Are going real deep It's cause

They want people to be able To define themselves. And I agree with that, man. Call yourself whatever you want. But when you're getting mad at people for saying gay slurs, you use the term queer. Well, yeah. No, you're right, man.

It's all fucking intention, dude. It's like what's behind there. If there's anger behind it, it's an ugly word. It's why black people can call each other niggers. Hey. It's an ugly word. It's why black people can call each other niggers. That's what it is. You know, when you hear Tupac say it, he's sitting around

shooting the shit with Dr. Dre and they're being funny with each other. It's not offensive. If some old man is yelling at a young kid because he's walking on his lawn, then it becomes offensive and dehumanizing. Obviously. I met a beautiful black girl the other day like

thinking about trying it stop it's on my list but I are you ready it was my friend's sister but she was just so beautiful wanna get in shape for that first no I know you always start off with your worst start off with your worst presentation yeah except you at that yeah really yeah you know never try to impress a girl never that's bullshit when you got dumped the first time dude you lost like 70 pounds that's when you really realized you had to get back in the game that was because i was out of it was a seven-year relationship tell you what happened that was seven that was pre-internet fame son that's what it was well you didn't have the internet fame you weren't the the producer of a very famous. Brian, how many penthouse pets have you dated?

Seven. Seven. That's normal, dude. A guy looks like you usually get a lot of penthouse pets. No, dude, seriously. How many? Two. I've only dated two girls in the industry ever.

The industry. Well, you know, since I've been in Hollywood, I've been in the industry. I've been a part of the industry. Really, I do a lot of industry things. I have an industry newsletter that I subscribe to. Danny, what's happening with that condom thing, man? Is it fucking up the industry? Well, there seems to be a lot of talk that they're going to move to Arizona or something like that, or Vegas.

Yeah, it's going to move to Vegas. That's what they're going to do. Which is crazy. Well, not really, because I is a lot of well not really because i think a lot of girls live in vegas anyway because a lot of them they make money dancing as well as doing movies you know they can if they like announce like isn't that like the thing they they announce they they do feature dancing and people like dudes are fucking fans of some porn stars i mean may say it's may say it's kind of weird and strange, but why is it? I mean, look, if you're a fan of an actress, you know,

and you come to see her at a book signing, you know, you're a fan of the way a chick sucks dicks, and she's nice enough to let you watch her suck a lot of dicks. Beautiful women are beautiful women. And then you pretend that it's your dick, and I'll blah, and you blast all over yourself. Dude, you know what's so funny? Beautiful women is beautiful women.

Like Pamela Anderson right there. I think she is gorgeous. I think she is beautiful in that poster. Yeah, that's like art. There's a certain art in what she looks like in her body. It's so sexually arousing. You look at her perfectly manicured toes and her toe ring, and oh, you just want to lick her ass. Look at that button that's right there.

You're obsessed with that button, dude. Yeah, it's a great button. It's placed perfectly. I want to know if it's good. It's just dumb luck. It's just, look, see, they line up on the other side of her shirt. I think it's just the way it is. It's just a hot picture.

The bitch is hot. By the way, I didn't create this right here. You know what's unfortunate, though, man? What's unfortunate is that women like that, man, especially if they're not, like, heavy duty into working working out is that I get older and they lose their body they become creepy look at least try to get their ass the ass disappears that's what it gets really weird when you see like older women their ass is like sink and turn under you know and old men too like they get that Larry King body yeah you know where

the there's no muscle tone going on. And when a woman becomes, when a woman goes from being Pamela Anderson, and she's still attractive, she hasn't hit this yet, but it's coming, you know, unless she figures out some way to do a lot of fucking squats and keep her body. Like when you become a woman who has enormous artificial boobs and your body's kind of falling apart and you have these big bags sitting in front pushing out your shirt and you know this cleavage that you're but it's been

sun drenched for so long it's got this weird sort of leathery texture and you're trying to tone that down with heavy doses of moisturizer so your tits are always greasy and leathery at the same time and your ass is evaporating so you try to stick it out a little. So you're wearing high heel shoes where it's really not appropriate. And they're really high. And, you know, you're awkward. You can barely walk. And you really, your ass is gone.

You become a monster. You become a strange person. Tomorrow on the news, there's going to be like this wave of suicides from people listening to this. Well, that's a weird thing, man. It's a weird look, you know? Well, yeah, it sucks. It's weird. It sucks getting attached to your physical body

and using that as your main tool. Sure, I think... It's a dangerous proposition, man. I think that's really easy to say, though. When you're a girl and you look like Pamela Anderson, dude, first of all, when she was young, she was so hot. That's all anybody probably could comment on all the time. From the, when she was young, she was so hot. That's all anybody probably could comment on all the time.

From the time when she was young, all the people that she met, I guarantee you everyone was just, holy shit, you're so pretty. That happens. But when a girl gets addicted and gets caught up in that, it's almost like there's nothing that can match the kind of power and energy she gets just from her own looks yeah so she's almost it's almost like it's just it was too alluring to just run with that too many people were encouraging her you know and essentially she got away with without doing any porn except for that one accidental time yeah that was a good

one too though yeah she did like some playboys andboys and stuff where you got to see her naked, and that was satisfying enough. But I mean, she made a living. She was so hot, she made a living off being hot. And that's what she did. It's just sad. What's sad is when people... I mean, it's not her fault that she was super fucking hot. It's incredible.

But the sad thing is if she was attached to that perception of herself, it's an intense tragedy. Well, we're just assuming. We're just assuming now that she's going to – maybe she's super cool. I bet she is. Maybe you sat her down and had a conversation whether you would really enjoy it. I don't know her. I bet she's cool.

All I'm saying is positive. All I'm saying is that she was so ridiculously hot when she was young that I think almost anybody would have been corrupted by that kind of beauty. Not that she even was, but I don't know how you could not be a professional hot chick if you were that pretty. Look at her, dude. Look at her. That's from whenever that is. That's her prime. She's like one of the hottest chicks that's ever walked the face of the earth.

I think that's actually a recent poster. Pull back and you see her whole body. Do you see her whole body there, Brian? Get that whole thing there, man. That's a recent poster? Well, then she's still keeping it together. Good for her. That chick still keeping it together. Yeah. Good for her.

That chick is hot as fuck. She's great. That's uncomfortably hot, right? Yeah. Well, I think when you're that pretty, I think, you know, we all have to be reasonable. That girl got some crazy lottery ticket, and she decided to cash it in. She ran the dice, and she came up double seven in the looks department. Yes.

I don't fault chicks for doing that. I don't either, man. I wasn't saying that at all. But some people do, right? Some people, like, immediately they'll discount somebody if they are a professional hot chick or if they're a girl who's attractive, like, immediately because they know it's so easy to be that person. Life is so easy. What are the odds that you've been thinking?

What are the odds that you've been contemplating your existence? I know. Why would you? Life is so easy. What are the odds that you've been thinking? What are the odds that you've been contemplating your existence? Why would you? Life is so easy. Everyone is just tripping over themselves to try to give you things. But I've met plenty of them that do. And those girls, that's insane. For sure. When you run into those girls, that's such power to have.

It's amazing. When you run into someone who's beautiful and intelligent with great personality. So intense. Great sense of humor. It's amazing. It's like, wow, look at you here. Because to get to that point, you have to have some humility that didn't come from looking in the mirror. The reaction that you're getting from the people around you.

It could be that. With some of them, it's just simply that they got into yoga or they got into some sort of a meditation discipline. And they sort of formed. I mean, it could have been the way they were raised. They just sort of formed a human personality instead of a hot chick personality. Yeah, that's the best. It must be hard though, man.

Being a hot chick must be like the easiest way to get by in life. Just skate through a bunch of dudes stumbling over themselves. I bet it's a sad life also though. I bet there's a lot of sadness to that life. For some, sure, yeah. Well, there's also lot of sadness to that life um for some sure yeah well there's also when when someone feels like they're getting scammed over like you don't really

like them you know if if someone's in a situation where a girl is using her looks to get by in life yeah the guy who is taking advantage of that the guys who get with those girls they know they know that this isn't a real this isn't a real, this isn't a real love. This is a real love under certain conditions. And that certain conditions are you're here to provide like finances or pay for things or something. There's some that those guys are going to resent that. So that manipulative relationship is never the, a real relationship where you really both truly love each other. And you can't wait to see that person. It's always this weird, creepy deal where you know you're getting fucked and you want to check her cell phone

because you don't like the way her fucking trainer looks at you when you say hi to her at the gym. You think she might be fucking her trainer. Oh, it's craziness, man. Imagine if you were some old dude, you're like 80 years old, and you get yourself a 30-year-old chippy, and she likes to work out, you know? And you're playing golf, and you get yourself a 30 year old chippy and she likes to work out you know and you're playing golf and she you walk in and she's like getting stretched out by this fucking buff

25 year old trainer she's got her leg on his shoulder there's a lot of dudes who do creepy shit like that all right time to stretch you out so we're gonna do here i'm gonna pick your leg up you're gonna put on my shoulder hey fuckhead you don't have to do that stupid all right you you could stretch all those major muscle groups on the ground, you dumb fuck. But there's a lot of dudes who do creepy shit with girls. All right, lean both your arms back. And they get a nice, firm, sexual grip on their forearms. So just let a woman feel the grip strength.

You know what I'm talking about? And they just pull you back. Pull you back at some weird, uncomfortable, sort of semi-sexual position. Some sort of over-inflated doggy style position you know and then you let them go and then you're stretching out their arms and you know you're showing your own discipline you stretch out with them and then this poor fucking guy's 80 years old what's he gonna do nothing nothing he just has to be happy i guess yeah he should be happy he should let everybody fuck her and hope nobody poisons him.

Yeah, that's an inevitability. That's the problem is, yeah, they're all going to poison you, man. How many 80-year-old guys do you think are dating 30 or 20-year-olds right now? That's a really good question. Let's think. I wonder if we could find that statistic online. No way. That's something you would, who knows, man?

Up in the hamptons and like who the fuck knows man just like monsters but i really love him i just think he's wonderful because when people enter those relationships they don't enter them they justify yeah i don't even care about his looks his body is just he an amazing person. His energy is so loving and, you know, I wouldn't want to leave his side. He's amazing. See, I hope to grow 80 one day.

The girl's got diamonds on and shit and she's just lying around murdered animal skins and driving around in a Bentley. Yeah. Feels like it's not even connected to the road. Everything's provided for.

Feels like you're floating on a carpet through the air. She knows he's probably only got two more years of life, and then she gets millions of dollars because he was in love with her. I wonder how many of those there are out there, man. There's a lot. There's a lot.

And, you know, you could say, well, if you wanted to be cynical and pragmatic, that, you know, he's providing something, she's getting something out of this, it's a good relationship, he wants comfort and sex, and she's willing to sort of give that as long as he provides a ridiculous income to her and that's the reason why they have this unbalanced relationship in the first place he has to be unbalanced financially to overcompensate for the physical unbalance he has to be ridiculously unbalanced he has to be buying her minks and fucking diamonds and and then you get to stick your dick in my mouth i like like diamonds. That's the deal she has with him.

So he was using her, or she was using him for his money. Of course, that's the deal. Yes, using him for his money. And he's using her for her great hot body. You're not supposed to get this when you're 80. It's essentially what you're doing is taking on an insane prostitution contract that almost nobody can keep up with. That's the only way you can keep a hot chick if you're 80.

I mean, it's just incredible to think that 80-year-olds can get that horny, man. Well, if they take Viagra. And I think also, a lot of them, it's a psychological thing. There's a lot of 80-year-old guys that can't believe that they can get a 20-year-old hooker. They probably can't even believe it. And when they're alone with it, if they can get it up still, oh, my God, how good must it feel to bang some really hot 20-year-old Russian hooker? It's kind of fucked up because she's only 20.

Let's make her 23. Let's make her 23. Really hot 23 year old russian hooker who's really good at it she's really good at it i would just have to like you just it's the fact that underneath this beautiful young thing is a withered crisp that's about to go uh feed the worms it's like it would be tough for me to beat that out of my mind as i stared up at her beauty at her at her hot body i would still still be like, man, you're fucking, you're wrinkling and you can barely breathe

and your knees are cracking. Or you'd be like, oh, this pussy's so good. God damn, this feels so good. You can cum in her mouth, you can cum in her ass, whatever you want. She doesn't care. Where do you want to cum? Where do you want to cum?

He's a healthy old man. More power to him, by the way. He should give up his whole empire. He's not going to live very long anyway. Just give it all up. Yeah, I think that situation, there certainly is something perfect about it. Dude, that's priceless. It's worth a lot of goddamn money.

Yeah. A really hot chick to just fuck you whenever you want and you're an 80 year old man you better be paying that bitch that's a ridiculous thing to ask you think it's tough to ask someone to be a garbage man how about ask you to fuck an old guy whenever he wants do you think there's any like 80 year old do you think there's any 80 year old guys living in studio apartments that have 30 year old girlfriends no no there's none of that doesn't exist i mean maybe there might be a few broken chicks out there that got roped into some bad poetry or something like that it's possible most guys though no

roped into bad poetry yeah you know some guy pretends to be deep and lost girl and you know he's a information he has that you know he takes time with her and something no one ever did. And he has needs and she takes care of it for him. That's possible. Most of the time, not likely. Most of the time, it's some motherfucker that's living in some shit that nobody should be living in. Some crazy fucking castle. Every now and then, as a goof, I like to go on websites look at like stupid expensive houses that are for sale

like what is like the most expensive house you can buy there's like 20 million dollar houses and you can go and look at the pictures of them they show them online you see the grounds and everything like holy shit like what is this crazy way that one person gets to live this is nuts I looked at this one house it was a a compound. It was absolutely insane. It was 600 plus acres and this incredible fucking house. And, I mean, it was one of the most extravagant things that a person could ever purchase and own in their life. They essentially own a kingdom. It was really like a 650-acre kingdom.

And, you know, who knows, man? A little chippy. She's like 26. She just came here from Czechoslovakia. She loves your horses. And, you know, we started hanging out, man. And she likes to smoke weed. I still smoke a little weed every now and then.

Next thing you know, she's sucking my dick. And I don't know what to do. I'm 86 years old. I mean, what kind of relationship are we going to have? I mean, what do you think? Should I to have? I mean, what do you think? Should I pursue this? I have a walker. A walker?

A lot of 86-year-olds have walkers. Yeah, a lot of them. If I want to get down the steps, I've got to ride an elevator. What would you tell an old man if there was a hot... I would say you might want some people to fucking keep an eye on her. You know? But then you've got to make sure that you have only gay security guards because uh that dirty bitch will suck their dicks and you know she's really hot well no i'm like if you're

a guy and you were like a super rich dude who lived in this giant crazy house and you're 80 years old and this is 23 year old really hot eastern block chick yes that may or might not be an assassin as well as a hooker yeah and, yeah. And you've got to have some gay security guards that are keeping an eye on her. You can't have, like, young stud guys because she'll just suck their dicks. You know, that dirty bitch. Most guys will not be able to stop themselves.

You know, a really high... Like, he's really fat from Iowa. Never met a girl like that before. And all of a sudden, she's like, listen, relax, baby. Relax. And she's rubbing your balls like, holy shit, I can't believe this is going to happen. I get fired for this. Relax, baby.

Relax. And they work something out. And you know, I can't fuck this old man all the time. Sometimes I want to go out and have my fun and we have a deal. Next thing you know, they're plotting his death. That's what what it is that's how it goes duncan yeah and that's what he's got to be careful for he's only have gay security guards you should have big badass gay

dudes that watch over you that's like that's the weirdest end of your life and find the girl yeah you got a big you're surrounded by a bunch of gay bodyguards and a 30 year old russian prostitute yeah you gotta go get those guys that's where it ended to take her everywhere they never let any guys come near her because she's mine and you don't let that bitch fucking poison me it's just absurd it's just absurd man yeah it's a lot of guys lives right yeah it's absurdity it's so funny the way that you can end up when you're blinking out of the universe like you can actually blink out of the universe in a silk robe next to a 30 year old russian stripper i know a man who was a um uh he was a successful

man but he was very very weak he was like very physically weak yeah and he was much older than her um he was about 30 years older than her you know he was maybe yeah she was like in her probably in her 40s and he was in his 70s and there was the anger from her at him and the way she would yell at him and treat him this this complete total lack of respect because you know basically they had been married for a long time the only reason why they got married in the first place is because he was rich and she was hot and she learned along the way this motherfucker's not gonna do nothing and the way to get him off you is to just yell at him and humiliate him in front of other people will you fucking stop just stop she was this russian lady judy she yelled at him in front of me and my friends and it was

this really fucking super uncomfortable moment man just snapped at him in front of everybody we had a peek at this guy's life what what was what he what had he done that was so bad i don't know nothing nothing at the time he was a really nice guy he was a doctor and uh he made made him a lot of money man he was rich he had a crazy house and crazy cars and shit and and she was like a really hot Soviet bloc looking chick I don't remember what part of what part of the Soviet Union or Russia or whatever she was from but it was something like that I don't remember Ukraine. She might know I don't remember. I don't that's just so fucking tragic dude Yeah, so tragic and lonely tragic when someone's with someone and that person doesn't want to be with you, man. Or they give away, you know, love and like these little like rations, you know, they

give away sex and affection and little rations, you know? Well, no, it's like that thing, the experiment they did with a monkey, you know, it's like one of the worst experiments of all time where they took a fucking wire monkey and a little, there's those pictures of the monkey clinging to the wire monkey and pretending it's a real monkey well it had fur on it they put carpet on it and they had this poor monkey that thought it was a mama there was nothing else in there for it but some people in relationships where they're that little fucking monkey and they're clinging on to nothing there's nothing there and

they're just pretending that there's love there's something there for them and they know in their heart there's nothing there and they just keep fucking doing it because they're uh terrified to let go of that fucking thing and go out into the world it's super hard to find someone that's really cool to hang out with that doesn't just become a shithead eventually someone just someone who doesn't fall apart after you get to know them for a while because that happens with a lot of people man a lot of people do really good in the beginning of a relationship because they could pretend to be someone really cool yeah right and then as time goes on you realize like oh he's tired acting she's a bitch man why are you negative to me

you're always negative stop it yeah it's really weird that thing when you stop acting and you end up meeting the real person that's a that's a and that can either be hopefully that moment should be wonderful like when the fucking guard comes down and you really see the person there should be some beautiful thing yeah but sometimes it's not sometimes or sometimes one mask comes off and there's just another one there but But it's like all of us are wandering around right now in that state, though, putting on a show, pretending to be this or pretending to be that. Or hoping to try to fake it till you make it. Yeah.

There's some of that going on, too. Yeah. I've said often on this show that my best advice to someone is pretend to be the guy or be the guy, rather, that you pretend to be when you're trying to get laid. Just be the guy or be the guy rather that you pretend to be when you're trying to get laid just be that guy be that guy be that that guy when you're trying to impress a chick with how cool you are right be that guy for real to be a fake person no become the hold yourself to a higher standard well no man hold yourself to a standard that's admirable a lot of people just act on instinct and they don't ever look at their life from like a point

of view like what would i be impressed with if someone handled this if this is a movie isn't what would be the most moral and the coolest and nicest thing to do here the most admirable thing to do and when when you become capable of doing that you become capable of looking at your whole life through the like almost an objective perspective do you have you ever heard of uh something called transactional analysis or game theory have you ever heard of this i've heard of game theory yes i didn't know it was transactional analysis the idea is it's like so yeah it's an analysis of the transactions that happen between people so what they the reason that something to do with the guy from uh the uh brilliant mind i don't know isn't it that his nobel prize i think

was on i'm sorry i don't know i'm reading a book called the games people play and it's like an analysis of like the basic games that we play for example like shaking hands is a game where the rules of the game are you're kind of like transmitting a what I think what they call a token. So like if I come up to you and I extend my hand for you to shake my hand and you don't shake my hand, then that creates a weird moment because you haven't made it a complete transaction. You know what I'm saying? Yes. Yes. So it's like it's an analysis of everything at that level. And it just sort of comes back that we're all engaged in these weird games. Everyone, you know, whether you're acting like you're the greatest person on a date

or whether you're acting like you're some kind of weak person who is always broke and is always in bad relationships or whether you're acting like you're a priest or whether you're acting like you're whatever the fucking thing is, you're just playing a game. You're just playing the game of being this person. you're just playing a game. You're just playing the game of being this person.

You know, that's, so we're all in the kind of endless, absurd situation of having to pretend to be something, you know, whatever it is. Like, fucking waiters. Or anyone you're buying anything from, they're having to act in this weird way called professional. Right, right. But they're just acting, like, who's this character?

It's a character. You're playing a weird character of someone who's like thank you yes may i get you another drink well it's like they're like a tv host or a strip club dj yeah or or just almost anyone it's just yeah it's just the things that people think are themselves this is who i am i love the rolling stones and i really enjoy fishing it's like is that really you that's who you are that's your identity because if you like get far enough back you? That's who you are? That's your identity? Because if you get far enough back, you'll realize that that's not you. That's just a game

that you're playing. And you can keep going back and back and back until you merge into everything. But nobody wants to do that. Everybody wants to stay as the fucking thing. No one wants to... Well, there's certainly comfort in predetermined patterns. People love to say, listen, man, I'm a Republican, and this is why I vote.

I'm a Christian, so I'm voting for George W. He's my guy. People love to be part of teams. They love to do that. It's fun to play. But it's very difficult to back up the way you're saying. I mean, it's like to do it without help, to do it without either psychedelic help or to do it without some sort of intense meditation and yoga and training and that's like a you it's a really difficult it's a difficult task but it's though it's it's like if you begin to

engage in focus we're gonna get better at that hell yes for sure definitely people are gonna get better because the information is getting out there there's so many information systems out there that back in the thousands of years ago, you couldn't have books. There weren't even books, man. It was very difficult to get a book. Books were incredibly valuable. Now this shit is scattered

throughout the entire fucking planet. You have instantaneous access to this stuff. It's fucking, yeah, I think people are going to learn. Powerful Brendan Walsh just walked in, which ends this podcast. We're going to start a new one right after this. We're going to start the Death Squad Ice House Chronicles

because the comics are starting to pile in for the show. It is already 9.30. Yeah, it was John Nash, the guy from that movie, A Brilliant Mind. He did win some sort of a Nobel Prize on game theory. So, I don't know, something along those lines. He went crazy. He was the guy game theory. So, I don't know. Something along those lines. He went crazy. He was the guy that went nutty.

I didn't know he went crazy. Yeah, that's what the movie's about. It was the... Who was the guy who played A Beautiful Mind? Gladiator. Russell Crowe. Yeah. Yeah.

Brilliant performance. And he played that guy, and he went nutty. He imagined a bunch of shit. Well, the shit's awesome, man. You should check it out. You'd love it. But he brought himself back. He imagined a bunch of shit. Well, the shit's awesome, man. You should check it out. You'd love it. He brought himself back.

He's a fascinating story. He actually brought himself back to reality. He started ignoring the voice. He still hears voices in his head, but he just ignores them now. He can differentiate between what's real and what's not. And so he stays sane even in the midst of twirling insanity. He managed to figure out how to maintain it. That's cool. Yeah, that's what everything is based on,

is figuring out how to maintain that shit. He's a really fascinating case, really interesting guy, a brilliant, brilliant guy who went mad and brought himself back. Really nuts. That's it. This is our 200th podcast, ladies and gentlemen.

All you freaks, all you people out there at the gym, all you people out there driving cross-country and sitting on trains and doing whatever the fuck you're doing. Porch swings. We're so happy that you tuned into the show. We love doing it. We're happy you guys love it.

And I feel like you guys are some of the coolest, most positive people that I've ever come across on the Internet. I think it's an amazing moment when we've collected so many really cool and friendly and fun people that follow us. If you think about the amount of negative tweets that you get, the amount of negative shit that you get, it's so small in relationship

to how many cool people there are out there, how many cool stories you get tweeted, funny things, answers to questions i think we're super super lucky man you know i think we're putting out a cool vibe and i think we're putting out an an honest way of looking at the world and people are responding and we're responding back and it's the most fun i've ever had doing comedy it's the most fun i've ever had doing anything you know that you would call like like in show business this It's the most fun I've ever had doing anything, you know, that you would call like in show business. This thing is the most fun,

for sure. For sure. And it's the most honest. It's the most, I mean, it's just, it is what it is, man. Yeah. There's no preparation, you know. And it's as open and as honest

as we are capable of. And I think that helps us. I know it helps me. I know these conversations have been huge for, you huge for breaking things down for me and just kind of reassembling the way I look at the world and having all these different guests on and having all these different people and all these really different intelligent people and really intense opinions.

And it's super, super beneficial, man. And I'm just so happy that we're able to do this. It's the fucking coolest thing I've ever done. I really, really enjoy it. It's almost right up there with stand-up to me. Stand-up will always be like the sacred top of the fun food chain. Pretty close to that, though. But it's pretty close to it.

It's really cool. And the reason why it's cool is how many cool people it impacts and how many cool people who it impacts share their love with us and send that love back at us. And we appreciate the fuck out of it. We talk about it all the time. And we just want you to know.

We're obsessed. We love all you dirty bitches. Hare Krishna. Thank you to the Fleshlight for keeping it real, staying with us since the beginning where it was ridiculous that anybody would give us money for this stupid fucking show. If you started today, this is the first episode that you ever downloaded, don't download episode one because it's fucking terrible. I can't. I'm going to listen to that.

Don't download two. I think in two I run out of the room three or four times and take a shit. I think I had diarrhea. But it didn't get good for a while. So we never publicized this thing. It sort of just built up on itself naturally. And we love it. We couldn't be happier.

I've always wanted to have a radio show, and I never could get anybody to fucking even think about giving me one. And I didn't really want to get up every morning either. So this is perfect. Perfect. Perfect. No middleman. Right to the people. Atlanta.

Tickets are sold out, I believe, for the first show at the tabernacle on april 20th but there's still some tickets available for the second show and that is where i'm going to be filming my next special um i'm fucking super pumped about this this is for real the best shit i've ever done i've been doing a lot of stand-up lately i'm in the groove like we had a great time this weekend at the comedy and magic Club. That place is so beautiful. This weekend, we're in Louisville at the Improv all weekend, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. There's supposed to be some crazy

basketball thing going on. It might be a huge problem. No one's going to want to come to the show. It's going to be crazy. I've been warned 19 times on Twitter about this event. They said I should put a TV on stage while the game is on and allow people to watch it while we talk.

I'm totally cool with that. Really? I think it would be fun. That would be a fucking blast. Let's do that. I think it would be fun. I think it would be fun. You know why it would be fun?

Because I don't know what the fuck is going on. I want to mock this nonsense game. Can we please do that? Yes. I really want to do that. Yeah, we could totally do that. We could totally do that. Yeah, because I think that will help people come to the show, too.

So if the improv can figure that out, we'll do that. Can I show my poster, Joe? Yeah, yeah. We'll tell people about it, too, because most of this is people listening. Oh, yeah. So I've had this poster made, which is I'm only making 666 of them. And they're these giant posters, these incredible, awesome posters that Justin McAllister, this amazing artist made of me, getting possessed by my satanic puppet as you can see this is it

once we get 666 of these through all the homes in America they will make a chaos vortex and the singularity will happen so please purchase one of these posters if I need one signed done I need to need you to sign me one. Done. I'm tempted to give you 666 out of 666. I'll take it. I'll take it. That's a good lucky number for me. That's it to the end.

Listen, you guys have been cool as fuck. You've been with us, some of you, from the very beginning, and that's ridiculous. I can't believe you stuck out this long. Crazy. And we can't believe how many people enjoy the show. We love doing it, and there's nothing. I can't believe you stuck out this long. Crazy. And we can't believe how many people enjoy the show. We love doing it, and there's nothing more I can say. I know Brian feels the same way.

Yeah. Don't you? Yeah, it's sweet. Well, what is it like to you? I mean, this is our 200th episode, dude. Just tell these people how it feels. It's a lot of talking about stuff that happens in your life, and now you know us more than...

My friend, Shane Green, he's having a baby today. He knows... He's like my best friend. You guys at home know me way more than he knows me. Because of all the talking on the podcast. Yeah. Like, you know more about all of us. And it's freaky as fuck.

Freaky. But what's also cool is you know it feels like you're i mean you know me better than my best friend how fucking crazy is that dude i had somebody come up to me on the street and after a few minutes talking they asked me about my friend in college emil and they knew his name they're like how's emil man it's like dude i don't that's something that someone would find out about me months into a friendship. It's fucking crazy. And barely remember. Yeah, totally.

Yeah, the podcast is a strange thing. It's the best thing to ever happen for us for stand-up. Now, people go, when you go on stage, they know what you're going to do. They know you're a fucking weirdo. They look forward to it. They know it. They get excited about it.

Thank God. And look, that's it. That's all I can say. We appreciate that you guys appreciate it. And by no Look, that's it. That's all I can say. We appreciate that you guys appreciate it. By no means do we take it for granted. It's very, very important to us. That's exactly why the podcast

is going to remain free. It's always going to be free. I'm never going to do this thing for money. I'll figure out a way to make money. We'll move it around. I love the idea of putting something out there that is absolutely 100% free. And, uh,

you know, that's what we've managed to do. I know a lot of people think that our ads are too long, but whatever, it's all free. It's not like, yeah, you can fast forward through it.

And by the way, it's like, you know, I mean, what is that flashlight? You're doing something with it. Um, by the way,

it's not like you have to listen to that part. Don't be silly. It's everything else is free. Don't be a knucklehead. Yeah. Fleshlight, are you doing something with it? By the way, it's not like you have to listen to that part. Don't be silly. Everything else is free. Don't be a knucklehead. Yeah. Don't buy a Fleshlight if you don't need one, but if you want one, they're awesome. Go to Fleshlight.com.

Enter in the code name Rogan. Save yourself 15% off the number one sex toy for men. It's number one, bitches. There's a bunch of different textures and shit if you want to get crazy. If you're a connoisseur. Fleshjack. What is it? They call you a foodie if you're a food connoisseur.

What would they call you if you're a sex toy person? Are you a sexy? Would you call you a sexy? Well, I'm a sexy. You know, I try toys. I think stick things in my ass. A sex toy connoisseur. Yeah, I'm a big on dildos, vibrators. Why isn't there a show like the guy?

Once I got past the feeling of something in my ass. They need that show. Like the guy who goes around and eats food. There should be a guy who goes around and fucks everything. The contrary fucking sex toys. That's totally possible. You could do like a series of that for like an internet porn site. Brian, talk to one of your people in the industry.

You know people. That shit would work. That would be a good, you could have a comic do it. Have a comic, you know, some, well, Tripoli type character. Tripoli would be perfect. Tripoli would be perfect. For that. Tripoli would be perfect.

We should do it. We should start producing our own shows. We should start producing our own shows. That's what the next move is. We've got to hire a goddamn camera guy

and start doing anytime we have an idea for a sketch we just that right there. Just do it. That needs to be done. A guy who just

travels around the country and fucks everything. Yeah. Goes in there outside one of these and sticks things in his ass and tells you what it felt like. Well, you know,

I don't like something in my ass but it makes you come way harder. So he's got a fucking vibrator in there. It'd be a great show, man. It'd be a great show. Yeah, we just wouldn't be able to show it all.

We'd have to hide shit from people. Go to a fleshlight. Go buy yourself some goodies. Okay? That's the end of that commercial. Go to onnit.com. If you want to, you don't have to, O-N-N-I-T. That's the end of that commercial. Go to Onnit.com if you want to. You don't have to.

O-N-N-I-T. That is where you can buy all the crazy new tropics and supplements that we talked about. Coming soon, we're going to have some ridiculous exercise equipment that I'll show you guys. It's going to blow your mind. It's going to freak you out. That's it.

That's the end of our two-minute podcast. We thank you very much. We appreciate you very much. We'll be back next week, you dirty bitches. God is love. One for all and all for one. Thank you.