The Joe Rogan Experience - #2007 - Adrienne Iapalucci

Episode Date: July 12, 2023

Adrienne Iapalucci is writer and stand-up comic currently on tour. www.adrienneiapalucci.com

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. I know these chairs are kind of weird, but they're the fucking best chairs that I've ever found for sitting for long hours at a time. I like it. It's called a Capisco and is it fully? What's the name of the company that makes them? They're the shit. The best ergonomic chairs I've ever had. They're the only for podcasting.

Cause if you think you want to be like comfortable and like, like a nice, like a, one of those cool chairs with the buttons in it, you know, that people would sit and smoke cigars after a while, you're back with her. It's like,

you don't really, you have to kind of stay. That makes sense. These are the best. I like it. The other one was just so tall. Yeah. There's some of these.

It's weird because they're the same company or they're the same chair, but I think different people made them, and some of them get real low. This one doesn't get very low. Hag is the main company, I guess. Oh, so they've changed twice. And a few people sell it. Oh, well, that's the shit. That's how it works. No one's paying me to say that.

They're the shit. What's up, Adrienne? How you doing? Good to see you. Should I move this closer? Yeah, right there's good. All right. You want some coffee?

I just had some coffee. Last night was really fun. It was really fun. The club's awesome. Thank you very much. I'm really excited that we got to meet, and I'm really excited that I got to see your stand-up. You know, because Ari Shaffir has been singing your praises for so long. He's the best.

He loves you. I know. When I first met him, I did not like him. Like, I was like, this guy's a dick. He's a little misunderstood. He can be a dick. Well, yeah. Even when you text me, I was like, is this Ari playing a joke?

Because he's always doing stuff like that to me. Does he really? Yeah. Well, it's because he loves you. No, absolutely. But I'm always skeptical of something's in his orbit. Right. I'm like, hmm.

He is the guy that dosed Bert Kreischer at his house. Yes. Dosed him at his house when he was supposed to be hanging out with his family. He gave him Molly. At least he did it at his house in a safe environment, I guess. I think Bert had the fucking time of his house. Yes. Dosed him at his house when he was supposed to be hanging out with his family. He gave him Molly. At least he did it at his house in a safe environment, I guess. I think Bird had the fucking time of his life. He just doesn't want to admit it. I could see that.

I think ultimately it was like a really bad thing that Ari did that. But I bet he had a good time. I'm sure. I mean, yeah, I think it's probably not great for their friendship. It was terrible for their friendship. The wife was furious at him. And rightly so. Rightly so. Ari does stuff where like you're like, hey, that's not cool. Do you know what he did to me? So he got into my ex-fiance's computer, wrote an email from him to me. Oh, God. Where it was like, I'm still in love with you. We should get back him to me. Oh God.

Where it was like, I'm still in love with you. We should get back together. And like, I know. And I was like, I had another boyfriend at the time and I was like, I don't feel like this at all.

So I just deleted it. And then Ari later was like, do you check your emails? I was like, you're a dick. Oh my God. What a psycho. Yeah.

I was like, what if I still cared about this guy like that? What if you just started sending pussy pictures? Oh my God. Yeah. I was like, it's on. Come over. It was like what if I still cared about this guy what if you just started sending pussy pictures oh my god yeah what if I was like it's on come over

what if I was like it's on and you started sending the wildest shit that you have on your hard drive oh my god that would be terrible I know

and then Ari has it what and then he texts it to you later I think that he got in his his email and then left like that's the thing he's

I've had my phone open by him and he'll like write I love black cock on Twitter like he just does that could you imagine and then left. Like, that's the thing. I've had my phone open by him, and he'll, like, write, I love Black Hawk on Twitter. Like, he just does that. Could you imagine being your ex-fiancee and then seeing a response to you in his email? Yeah.

And then he's reading that and going, what the fuck did I do? Right. Like, he thinks, oh, my God, was I on drugs? Did I black out? I don't remember writing this. I think he would just, I think at this point, anything that goes crazy, I think, is Ari. So i think he would also just be like who is in my office well that's the benefit of having someone like ari you have plausible deniability sure tap

you're just like fucking ari he's such a psycho it's ari damn it damn it ari he comes across sometimes as a dick because he's probably autistic, but he is a good guy. He's a great guy. He is. I love that dude. But I don't think he's autistic. I think he just had a hard childhood. Yeah, but I don't think he... He'll say stuff where you're like, Ari, this is really inappropriate.

He does. He does. So that's the only thing where I'm like, he might be on the spectrum. You don't think even like the tail end, like the beginning? I think he's such a comedian that he has a really hard time interacting with regular people.

Maybe. I think he's so used to like the fun of chaos. Sure. He shit in a Tupperware container and brought it to Skank Fest. Yeah. And then opened it up on stage in a crowded room where people were gagging and throwing it.

It was Legion of Skanks, right? It wasn't Skank. Was it Skank Fest? Whatever it was with the Legion of Skanks guys. Ari shit in a Tupperware and brought it to the stage. Sure. But that's still not as bad as some of the stuff he says but it's his that's his level of like acceptable behavior like to him that was a thing that you

should do right right so like all this other stuff is just funsies that's true it's just funsies when i was on the road with him one time he took out one of his bloody ass tampons and he was showing me i go don't touch me with that. And he goes, okay. Like if you ask him to like not to do something, he will respect that. But if you don't, it's game on. He might be game on.

Yeah. He'll do whatever. But like if you're like, hey, please don't do that. He's like, all right, I'll respect that because you said that. I met Ari when he was a door guy at the comedy store. We became friends when he was just really just starting out. I don't think he'd been doing comedy like more than a year what what did you think of him as a new comic he's funny i knew

he was really smart yeah and uh he was just fun to be around like he's a fun kid he was like you know i knew after a while what what was going on, but he was recently divorced from religion. Right. So he was super orthodox, Jew, went to Israel, was studying the Talmud for 12 hours a day, like wild shit. And then he has this real break from it. And then a few years later, he's hanging out without smoking weed at the comedy store. I wonder what he was like.

He was great. No, no, store. I wonder what he was like. He was great. No, no, no. Before, when he was like religious. What a mind fuck to do to a kid. It's such a mind fuck. Because you're saying you absolutely know that this is how everything went down. Right. And there's no way that could be real.

Even if the concepts of Christianity or Judaism, even if they're like real, they're real. That's what God really wants. There's no way, you know, whoever wrote that, like what they wrote. There's no way. This is human beings. Yeah. I mean, I went to Catholic school my whole life and I just never believed any of that stuff. I believed in it until I was six.

Yeah. In first grade. I had one teacher, Sister Mary Josephine. She was such a cunt. I bet. She was so mean. She was so mean that I knew as a little boy that there's no way this could be connected to God. No.

They're so mean. This is an evil lady who would threaten you. If you didn't do something, you were going to have to sleep on a nail in the closet. You'd have to stay home. You're never going to get to see your parents again. She would yell stuff like that. It was like she was evil. She tortured kids. Can you imagine that existing today? Oh, my God. It probably does. It probably does in some very unusual religious circumstances. You know, it's just back then when I was a kid, that was how they taught you in Catholic school. At least that lady.

My sister got a great lady, though. My sister got a great lady in the same school that wasn't a nun. She was just a regular lady who was Catholic, who was teaching in a Catholic school. It didn't have to be nuns or priests. Right. Well, I was in elementary school. It was like some teachers and then I was some nuns and some priests. So it was a mix. Yeah. So my sister got lucky she loved her teacher my teacher she taught me everything I

needed to know I was like about religion I was like there's no way what it not about the just a possibility that someone like that exists yeah because everyone was nice to me I was five six years old whatever I was my parents were nice to me my grandparents were nice to me everyone was nice to me except and then all of a sudden i'm in this room with this lady who is representing god and she's fucking evil she's mean she wants you to cry she would like try to get kids to cry yeah it was weird because it was like a really good thing it was like a really good thing because when i was like five years old my parents were breaking up Yeah. It was like, I was looking for someone. But it makes sense. Yeah. You're looking for someone to look after you. Someone who makes sense of this. Sure. Because if like the parents in your life, if the chaos in your life, you're like, there's gotta be something,

maybe it's God. And then going to that church and going to that, that Catholic school, I was like, okay, maybe, maybe it's God. But these people, this lady is not doing the work of God. Like, there's no way God knows about this. There's no way God's cool with this. There's no way God's like, she's ultimately, unless it's to be so fucking mean that you make people think for themselves. Yeah. We had a priest, maybe Father Joe. I don't know.

He came and we were about seventh grade. And people were talking about, like, if their dogs die and they go to heaven. And he was like, they don't know he came and we're about seventh grade and people were talking about like if their dogs die and they go to heaven and he was like they don't and we went ballistic imagine telling like a seventh grader your dog dies and doesn't go to heaven we were just like so angry and mad like he had to leave the room

first of all bitch how do you know they don't know anything but I'm just saying just be like yeah of course yeah why wouldn't you say that no he never even They don't know anything. How do you know? But I'm just saying, it's like, just be like, yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah, why wouldn't you say that? No, he never even was like, well, maybe. He was like, no, they do not go to heaven. Because then you'd be trapped with this animals have souls too thing.

Then you can never eat meat again. Right. Because cows go to heaven. Yeah, they all go to heaven. Just every, or whatever. Imagine if you had to go to heaven and confront every chicken you ever ate. I mean, I would just probably ignore them. Like you do on, like, trolls on the internet.

You're just like, all right, I get it. You're mad. I said something that pissed you off. In the next dimension, if reality was flopped and everything that you ate gets to eat you. I mean, I think you're just like, this is my fate. Like, what am I going to do? It would suck it would but you'd be dead so quick it really is crazy if you think about like your whole life from the time you're a baby till now how many animals have you eaten probably a lot and the thing is I like I

don't feel bad eating the ugly animals like chickens are not particularly cute but like cows are so cute they can be very cute so are pigs yeah pigs can be really cute so that's the one thing where you're like oh i love all these videos on instagram but i'm still gonna eat a steak isn't it interesting that wild pigs aren't cute at all no they're not even a little cute they're ferocious looking yeah so those are the ones that you want to eat, the ugly ones. Yeah, my agent said the same thing to me. To eat the ugly ones?

Yeah, she's just like, I don't mind if you hunt, but you should hunt pigs because they're ugly. Not the babies. The babies are so cute. They are. But even wild pig babies are cute. Isn't that interesting? What's the evolution? It's not like eagles care if something's cute. No. interesting like what's that like evolution it's not like eagles care if something's cute well no it's like a thinking animal that discerns cuteness and doesn't want to harm cute things sure like lions don't care about yeah hunting something but what do you is that for us it must

be for us it's just the only thing it works on yeah i think it's just for us like think about it like a little wolf puppy they're so cute so adorable and it's adorable for us. Like, think about it like a little wolf puppy. They're so adorable. So cute. So adorable. And it's adorable to us. Oh, yeah. Those things are gross. Disgusting. So it's adorable to us, little wolf puppy.

Yeah. So that we don't kill it so we can grow up to be able to kill us. Yeah. It's a trick. I think that we just, like, are reasoning and thinking about it. But, like, there's people that would probably kill it still. Oh, yeah, for sure. But it's a trick, but it's an interesting one

because it really, I think it only works on us. I don't think chimps give a fuck about cuteness. No, but they do love their like offspring. Sure, but all animals do. All animals do. But it's not because they're cute. Right, but for us, when we see other things, babies, we think they're cute.

Yes. Like we go, oh my God. We want to protect babies, we think they're cute. Yes. Like, oh, my God. We want to protect it. Otters are really cute. Yeah, puppies. Puppies are the most adorable thing of all time. They are. Look at those little guys.

They are cute. Hey, little wolf puppies. But I also realized that they would kill me. They're so different than dogs. It's so interesting. They're so different than dogs. And they look kind of like dogs until you get them around dogs yeah i mean they're cute but they're not as cute as like a husky

i was at a dog park once when a guy brought in a wolf are they legal yeah you can have a wolf you can have like a dog park yeah you're gonna have like a seven eighth timber wolf as a pet yeah i had a friend who had a couple of them and one of them even got out and killed a bunch of In a dog park? Yeah, you can have like a 7-8th timber wolf as a pet. Yeah. I had a friend who had a couple of them. And one of them even got out and killed a bunch of sheep. Like, they're wolves. Like, real wolves.

Yeah, I don't think you should have them as pets. So, I'm at the dog park. And this fucking dude comes in with a wolf. And it was the wildest thing. Where every dog was like, what the fuck? Do you know what that is? Every dog was like what the fuck do you know what that is every dog was like oh jesus christ they all like slunk down and moved away from it it was like he was walking through a tide like everything like it pulled back that's like their jesus presence well that's their monster yeah wolves eat dogs was your dog Yes. Did you take your dog out?

Oh, I got the right the fuck out of there. Yeah. So I live in the Bronx, and there's always, like, people have pit bulls and, you know, dogs. And, like, some of them are really nice, and some of them, they just walk off the leash. So this one day, I had a boxer, and this pit bull got loose. That was my ex-boyfriend at the time. He jumped on a car, and I just picked my dog up.

Oh, Jesus Christ. I was just getting ready to get. He jumped on the car to get just picked my dog up i was ready to get i was just getting ready to get he jumped on the car to get away from the dog yes left your puppy yes but i think that's also maybe culturally like he was black and i think like that's a whole thing where he's just not raised the same with dogs and stuff i don't know he just jumped on the car and i just held my dog and i was like i'm ready to get attacked oh my god the dog did nothing but then he showed me how i because i was like i'm scared dog did nothing. But then he showed me how I, because I was like, I'm scared to walk my dog out. So he showed me how I could, like, kill a dog. And I would walk around with a knife.

Oh, my God. Did you see that? Someone did that to someone. Welcome back. In Manhattan. What? In Central Park. Someone stabbed, two dogs got in a fight and the guy stabbed someone else's dog.

I mean, was he killing the dog i don't know i think his dog bit the other dog was what the woman who's i don't know the details i probably shouldn't say it so it's new details and shocking deadly stabbing of dog in central park and the woman like filmed the guy running away and she goes, you killed my dog, you piece of shit. Baffling incident occurred in the area around 106th Street and Fifth Avenue, a spot popular with dog walkers. NBC New York spoke to a man who said that he and his wife were walking their 13-year-old German Shepherd pit bull mix named Ellie and their other dog Sadie on leashes in the area

around 8.30 p.m. A man, the man who only wished to be identified as Brian, said they walked by a man with three pit bulls, at least two of which were unleashed. Fuck that guy. I hate seeing dogs off the leash. One of his dogs tried to bite my little dog, and he tried to tell me that it's okay, and I tried to talk sense into him, Brian told News 4. He and the man started to argue as his dogs attacked Ellie. I kicked one of the dogs off my dog at one point, Brian said, but then he took out a knife and started carving. And my dog growled. He stuck him. And I was

helpless at that time. Brian said he took a photo of the man as he walked away below. The couple then took their dog to the veterinarian where Ellie had to be put down. Wow. So that guy with those dogs just stabbed someone's dog. Because his dog bit the dog. Okay. That guy would be fucking dead. That's why I can't have a gun. Because there's so many people I would kill.

I don't know if those are pit bulls. They said those are pit bulls. They look like French bulldogs. Yeah. No, I think they're American bulldogs. My mom has one. No, American bulldogs are actually larger than pit bulls. American bulldogs are big. Those dogs are like this, though.

Those. Those look more like, they do make these little bullies. You ever seen those bullies? That's what my mom's dog is. Like miniature bullies. Yeah. It's like low to the ground, but like that. Yeah.

It's dog is. Like miniature bullies. Yeah. It's like low to the ground but like that. Yeah. It's jacked. I think those aren't like the really scary pit bulls, believe it or not, are not the ones that look like the scary pit bulls. I mean those are scary too. But the really scary ones are the smaller ones. Because those are the ones they really raised for dog fighting. Yeah. Brian Callen got one of those ones. He had one as a pet. It was a real problem. And it looked like a regular dog. It looked like a regular dog. Like, they don't have big, giant heads. And it only weighed, like, 35 pounds.

A pocket bullet. That little fucker. That's what my mom has. That's it. So those little things, they're weird fucking breeding choices that people have made to make these little tiny pit bulls. But I don't think those are aggressive. My mom's dog's not aggressive, but she's, like, scared of everything. Because another dog got loose and attacked her, so she's, like, scared now of everything.

Oh, God. Yeah, that's got to be traumatic to dogs. But, like, if I lived, if that would drive me nuts if I was that guy and he, I would do, I would do terrible things to his dogs. It's just, it's to him. Fuck, the dogs are just being dogs. I know, but, like, put him on a leash. That's the problem.

Yeah, he, but it's not like, yeah, I know what you're saying. But yeah. Oh, yeah, if you could kill him, then do it. That's the thing about taking dogs in public. Like, you never know. Like, there's this guy that I used to run these trails with. And I think he worked for this lady because I don't think he really had good control of the dogs. And oddly enough, one of the dogs was a golden lab, and he was really aggressive.

And he went after my dog and bit my dog. And I had to, like, kick the dog off him. And it was awful. But, like, a golden lab just snapped at the dog. And the guy couldn't control him. I thought you were talking about this video. What is this one? Oh, this was horrible.

Yeah, that was horrible. Yeah, the guy didn't have control of his dogs, and they were attacking this woman. That's why your dogs need to be on a leash. I mean, that's just crazy. You're not in the mountains. There's a guy that used to have three German shepherds. He'd walk them all off the leash in the Bronx. Right, but why is that dog attacking people?

Why is that dog just attacking a lady for no reason? Maybe they're trained. Yeah, what is going on? Or if you rescue them and you don't know where they're from? God damn it, that's scary. That's very scary. That's terrifying shit. Such a fucked up way to go.

Also, that's so weird that that guy came into the park with a wolf. It's like, what are you doing? It was a long time ago. You know, it was real weird. But people have those things. They have those wolf breeds, wolf dogs. This one guy I knew had three of them. And he would go over to his house.

If you made noise, like, oh! They would go, oh! They would all just howl in. They're not dogs. It's so interesting. There's no telling them what to do, sit, lay down. Fuck you. Those dogs should be out in the wild.

Yeah. And this guy had them in a yard. It's kind of crazy. That's not where they should be. No. These dogs are wild. They should be out in, you know. It's also kind of crazy to fix them.

You're just cutting off their testosterone supply. Just get tired. I bet they're still pretty aggressive. They're not the same. They're definitely not the same. I mean, I get it that you don't want them to have puppies, but you should just be in control of your dog. It's just such a weird animal, wolves.

You know, because we killed them off, and now we're like, let's bring them back. And have them in the park with other dogs that have no fighting chance against if it goes nuts. Well, that case, that guy, you know, had it supposedly as a pet. I just think people get pets sometimes. It's like you don't have to really know what you're doing to get a German Shepherd. You can get a police dog, German Shepherd, like a really aggressive, very smart thinking, like almost like a predator of people, you know?

And you could just get it. Anybody can get it. I mean, somebody, I think in Manhattan had like an alligator. Oh, yeah. Like you get these like little animals where they're cute and then it like gets to be humongous and you're like, this is a real problem. I think a dude in the Bronx had a tiger. Sure.

I see that happening. In his fucking house. This guy had a tiger at his house. Yeah, people are nuts. Imagine telling a girl at a club you have a baby tiger. Even if you don't want to fuck this guy, you're like, I do want to see this baby tiger. Where was this? This is his alligator found in New York City Lake.

Oh, my God. In Brooklyn. So what do you think happened there? Do you think that was like a pet? It was probably a pet, and it got too big, and somebody was like, I don't know what to do with this, and he put it in this park, in the water. That's the story of Florida.

Florida's an amazing story. Florida's just overrun with pythons. There's half a million pythons in the Everglades. They say that 99% of all of the mammals are gone. Of everything. Raccoons, deer, everything. Rabbits. They're all gone.

Foxes, pumas, everything. Maybe that's what you need to be hunting them. Yeah, well, they are doing that. What's crazy is in California, python skin's illegal. Is it? It's banned. You can't get python in california meanwhile on the other side of the country they're overrun with pythons like they literally have wiped out all

of the native wildlife they're eating alligators now that's crazy yeah tiger living in harlem apartment oh my god oh. Yeah, that's part of the story. I mean, imagine showing up to that and you're like, I'm out of here. Oh, my God. I'm not getting paid enough for this. I think they're the most beautiful animals. They're beautiful. But, like, what are you doing in a tiny studio apartment with a tiger?

It's an insane person. It's like some dude who met some dude who knows a guy who can get you a tiger. Of course. It's like some dude who met some dude who knows a guy who can get you a tiger. Of course. Do you know there's more tigers in Texas in private collections than there are in all of the wild of the world? Are they just like in their private backyards and stuff? Tiger world. I mean, when they attack people, I'm like, yeah, I get it.

You're caging this animal that should be in the wild. Yeah. Texas is very strange when it comes to wildlife. You can kind of own anything. Texas, this is like a... Get you a zebra. Just fucking not here. Anything goes.

Get you a zebra, Adrian. I want a baby zebra. Not when it gets big. Once it gets big, I'm going to put it in that lake with that alligator. I care. Fend for yourself. Yeah, there's apparently like a couple thousand more tigers in Texas than there are in the wild. Did you ever watch Tiger King?

Oh, yeah. I mean, just like such trash. It's so great. Not so secretly hoping that Trump would pardon him. Yeah. Do you like this guy has like probably a third level education. Well. He's just trying to make money.

Talk those straight guys into fucking him. So respect. Yeah, but I feel like rich people can get away with that it's like why women right hot women fuck ugly dudes that are rich you're like well hopefully guys yes absolutely i guess with some guys but everything it's like what works on everybody you know because like some things don't work on some people they work on other people i think money always works on everybody, you know? Because like some things don't work on some people. They work on other people. I think money always works on everyone. Sure. But like some people are really dumb.

Like some people, you can get them with a pretty simple cult. Oh, yeah. Not even that good. If you just post on Craigslist that you're starting a new religion. Yeah. I've thought about doing it and seeing who would show up. People would show up. I know. Loyalists. I was the first. I've thought about doing it and seeing who would show up. People would show up. I know.

It would be crazy. Loyalists. I was the first. I was with Adrienne when she became awoken. In the beginning. That would be so crazy. You could start a cult. 100%.

You could start a cult. I would do that and then just start a landscaping business. And that would be what I tell them my religion is. Just cleaning people's yards and stuff. Oh, my God. It's such a weird thing, cults. It seems to be like a natural pattern

of behavior that people have where they're willing to believe fucking total nonsense as long as everybody in the group believes total nonsense. Sure. It's also wanting to belong to something. Especially if you feel like an outcast yeah and there's some that are good at it like scientology's good at it

i think at the root of every cult there is a guy that wants to fuck everyone so like that's generally generally most of those cults start out where like you have to fuck me and that's how you get like to this higher level or or the heaven's gate guy you have to cut me and that's how you get to this higher level. Or the Heaven's Gate guy. You have to cut your balls off. Remember that guy? I do, but I don't remember cutting my balls off. Everybody had to castrate themselves. Was he castrated also? I think he was.

He might have done it to himself and got people to do it. It was a weird one. They all wore the same Nikes and they all killed themselves because they thought that the spaceship was coming to take them. They had to kill themselves. What's crazy is I watched that documentary and I was bored by it. Well, it's weird, right? Because it's like, it's so dumb.

You're like, who's buying into this? But even something that dumb, there's someone out there that's like, who the fucking Nikes? It's a weird one. Click on that. How it really happened. It's such a weird one. Click on that. How it really happened. It's such a strange story. Because I don't know what the guy's origin was. Like how he got all these people.

It's not playing. I just remember watching it and being very bored by it. I was bored by this guy that started a cult and got everyone to kill themselves. I loved Wild Wild Country. Did you see that one? Yes. Is that the one where they're going through a drive-thru? That's the one where the Indian guru, he set up shop in this town in Oregon.

They took over the whole town. Oh, yes. Yeah. And they started busting in homeless people so they could vote out everybody. So the homeless people would now be citizens. That was amazing. But then it was really sad because those homeless people had a sense of purpose for the first time in their life. And some of them were like, I'm fucking all in.

These are my people. And they were fucking doing hard work. Of course. And then at the end, after they voted, they're like, get the fuck out of here. UFO cults. UFO cult, apparently. Well, let me hear them talk. I want to go when I said

that the big surprise could come that spacecrafts could come in by the thousands, maybe come in shifts. In March 1996. That music, I'm out. It's so creepy. Well, that's editorialized, right?

That's someone else putting something. But this is part of some history channel thing, I think. Did you hear about the sanctum cult stuff today with Hunter Biden? What is that? I'm obsessed with Hunter Biden. Yeah, the story I saw was that the leader of this L.A. sex club that costs $75,000 a year was kicked out of the club because he shared that Hunter Biden was once a member. And all he shared was like a social media post that said, I kicked him out because he was weird.

But then they kicked him out of the club. It's like, you're not allowed to talk about the club. The fight club. Ooh, fight club. I fucked up. I had a chance to get Hunter Biden on the podcast in the very beginning. I think you can. I can't.

I tried. Wait for him to get back on crack. I can get him back on crack. Do it. That's when you get him back. I'll try it for the very beginning. I think you can. I can't. Wait for him to get back on crack. I can get him back on crack. Do it. That's when you get him back. Yeah, I'll try it for the first time. Well, I hear my friend did crack. And he's like, it's amazing.

Well, it's cocaine. It's freebasing cocaine. Dr. Carl Hart, who's a brilliant guy, who's a legitimate academic, but also is a drug user. And he's like, there's no difference. Pharmacologically, it's the same drug. You're freebasing. I can see that. Yeah.

It's like the real thing that's different is the policy. Because it's the most racist policy in the history of the drug war. Like, if you get busted with cocaine, it's one thing. But if you get busted with crack you get a crazy sentence yes like way way more it's just racist well it's not just racist it's like when you really go into like the origins of you aware of the freeway rick ross story no rick ross not the rapper but the real rick ross right was a drug dealer in south central LA. Okay. And he couldn't even read. And he was making millions and millions of dollars.

He was like a star tennis player and figured out how to make money doing it. He was just a smart, smooth dude who knew how to move cocaine. But he didn't know he was moving it for the CIA. Oh. He didn't know he was moving it to fund the Contras versus the Sandinistas in Nicaragua. Interesting. So this is a whole Oliver North thing. So they lock him up.

He learns how to read in jail and becomes a lawyer. And then realizes they got him on three strikes. But it can't be three strikes in one crime. It has to be three different crimes, three different arrests. Right. So he got out. That's crazy. Crazy.

But like look what they did for him. He learned to read. He became a lawyer. Do you know what I mean? Like what a fucking great story that is. He's an awesome guy too. And that, but that's where crack was coming from. I mean, it was our own fucking government.

Oh, yeah. It was rogue. I should be real clear about this. Probably rogue outlaw entities in our own government. It's not like our government approves that. Didn't Reagan, like, put crack into the community pretty much? Reagan did it himself. He went in the middle of the night like Santa Claus.

A little crack for everybody. Well, you know, the whole fucking drug war is just bananas when you're actually still selling drugs. The call of the day is a war on drug competition is all it is. It's not a drug war. The drugs are making billions of dollars. Like, okay, no more money for drugs.

Drugs are now illegal to sell. Like, what are you talking about? No way. Look at the amount of money that people make on just drugs that everyone agrees. Listen, I don't take Adderall, but I 100% support your right to take Adderall. Sure. I hear it's awesome. And people who take it, they can't shut the fuck up about it.

Yeah, it's like me and my friend used to take Stacker too. I think it's the same thing. We would like do everything in the office. Everyone would love when we took it. But guess what, kids? That's a drug. Yeah.

That's a drug. Absolutely. I mean, just the fact that you're getting it from your doctor. I mean, doctors prescribe so much stuff. Tell the doctors to sell Coke. Why not? I tried to get prescriber for Xanax and my doctor looked at me where he was just like,

I'm not giving it to you. And I was like, are you serious? Oh my God. Really? Yeah. Cause I wanted it to fly. He's like, I'm not doing it. He's like, they're really cracking down right now. So you can't have any. Well, the thing about benzodiazepine is it's very difficult to kick. Now, the thing about benzodiazepine is it's very difficult to kick. Very difficult. Physiologically. It's one of the only drugs, like alcohol, that'll kill you if you just go cold turkey sometimes. Some people just get wrecked by that stuff.

Jordan Peterson got wrecked. Like, physically wrecked for, like, over a year. It took him so long just to build his health back up. Well, my friend that was doing crack was also doing Xanax. And he was like, his doctor just made him go, I guess, cold turkey. But he had been doing so much that when he stopped, he went ballistic. Oh, my God. Yeah.

That's supposed to be horrible. It is horrible. Horrible, horrible withdrawals. Especially when people go crazy and they're eating it all day long. Oh, yeah. He was taking it all day. That was rough for him. That's when he started doing crack with problems. I had a buddy that was a comic and was just having anxiety attacks.

He just couldn't fucking control it and started taking Xanax. And it all went away. And then all of a sudden, it was fun again. It was weird. Anxiety is terrible. It's terrible. And I know his health deteriorated after but he was drinking while he's doing it which you're not supposed to do which a lot of people do do this lady said this to me on an airplane she uh she had a glass of

wine she goes a glass of wine and a xanax and i don't give a fuck about the world. Yeah. I've taken Xanax. I went to Australia and I took it and I slept most of the flight. It just knocks you out. Yeah, I would imagine. It's a good move for a 16-hour flight. But is the comedown bad? You're exhausted. You're like so tired the rest of that day.

You're like, you're done. There's nothing you could do. That's why I would only take it if I was flying. Right. Yeah, that would make me take it if I was flying. Right. Yeah, that would make me think that if you took it before you went on stage, that wouldn't be good either. No, it's like a real downer. I think he was doing that, though. I'm amazed by people that could do so much drugs and drink and go on stage.

Well, I wonder, though, how it's interacting with whatever individual's level of anxiety. We all assume that people have the same anxiety, but my level of anxiety differs throughout the day depending on what I'm doing, depending on my activity level, whether I've exercised, whether I slept well. I don't have a lot of anxiety, but if someone had a lot of anxiety, like a high – I don't even know what that feels like. Like if Xanax is the only thing that takes them out of that, like give them some fucking Xanax. Absolutely. It's just for me it makes me like a zombie. That's why I really can't take it. I just wish there was something that had that sort of an effect but wasn't, like, so ferociously addictive?

I mean. Probably mushrooms. I don't know. I'm scared to do any of those drugs. I bet that, microdosing, scared. Why? I don't know. I reacted so badly.

I did an edible when I was at Moon Tower, like, last year, and I'd never done it before, and it was, like, the worst experience. How many milligrams? moon tower like last year and i'd never done it before and it was like the worst experience how many milligrams um i don't remember it was like in a bag that they gave you my friend was like this is she was like no it was like from a company though she was like this is very weak i know but it wasn't just like some guy off the street handed it to me so i was like oh this seems legitimate and i took it and i remember going to sleep and waking up to hearing the ocean. I mean, it was so wild. I thought I was in that movie with Russell Crowe.

What's that movie where he's like, he thinks he's in the CIA, but he's just bipolar or schizophrenic. Oh, yeah. So the whole time I thought I was like that situation. I mean, I go, it's not good for me. My friend came over and I was like, I used the same logic he used where he realized those people never aged. Where I was like, I used the same logic he used where he realized those people never aged. Where I was like, okay, well, you're the same now.

Like, it was so crazy. I can't do drugs. Those people never aged? In that movie, he's like, I guess he sees like a little girl and he has this roommate. The Russell Crowe movie. Oh, the Russell Crowe movie. Yeah, so, but he realizes like they're not real because 10 years later, they're still the same age. I don't remember the movie. I realized it's like they're not real because 10 years later they're still the same age.

Oh. And I used that logic to think that like my friend, I was like, well, you're still exactly the same. Like it was just, I went there. It was so crazy. Whoa. That's why I was like, I'm not good on drugs. Well, that's a big dose it sounds like. I think someone, the problem with those edibles, I used to have a bit about it, is they're not consistent.

They're not making them in the same place they make Tylenol. They should. Yeah, they should. It should be consistent. They're not making them in the same place they make Tylenol. They should. Yeah, they should. It should be legal. They should all be legal so we'd know exactly what the fuck you're taking. I mean, how many people have to die of fentanyl before they realize like, we have to figure out like, if there's a demand for these drugs, if people

want these drugs, maybe it's education, maybe it's counseling, maybe it's drug rehabilitation centers that we need to open everywhere and then there's a business in that. But you should be allowing people to have access to the actual drug, not coke that you're getting on the street that's cut with fentanyl that's going to kill people. And how many people have to fucking die before you realize you're not going to stop people from doing coke with a just say no campaign. with a just say no campaign. So what are you going to do? Why don't you let reputable companies sell that and sell pure versions of it

and tell them what the fucking dose is that's going to kill you, let people know what's going on, and then make it so that you have to be 21 to buy it and educate people. Like, we're going to open up the country to legal drug sales. Because if you don't,

all you're doing is arming the outlaws. You're giving them money. All the outlaws. And it unregulated that's and it's right south across our border the mexican cartels are fucking killing it and they're not killing it because just say no worked they're killing it because we don't have legal drugs so they sell illegal drugs it's fucking bananas that a problem so so obvious it's like this it's It's an uncomfortable solution, but you've got to rip off the fucking Band-Aid and you've got to make everything legal. Remember that professor that was doing heroin recreationally? Dr. Carl Hart. Oh, that's the same guy.

I love that dude. He's been on the podcast a few times. Yeah, well, he does it recreationally. Yeah, and he talks about it. He's been on the podcast a few times. Yeah. Well, he does it recreationally. Yeah. And he talks about it. He says it's wonderful. He says, I love to just be with my wife and listen to music. I just feel like once I did that, I'd be like, well, this also seems like a good idea tomorrow.

Like, I don't know that I would stop. That's a problem with addiction. Like, it's just like that guy can do it. But like. Right. Well, one of the things that he talked about that's interesting. He's like this heroin withdrawal Myth he's like it's like getting sick. It's like you're sick with a cold for a couple days He goes that's what it's like. It's not like you're dying. He goes. It's not that bad

He goes it's just very exaggerated in media depictions and films. And people are like, but that sounds awful. Sounds like it's like have a cold for a few days, but then you're not addicted to heroin anymore. But then if you just keep doing heroin, you just keep feeling better. Well, also, you got to realize like sick. Like, what does sick mean? Like if you're sick and you've been doing heroin a lot and so you're malnourished and your immune system is dead and, you know, you're very little sleep and you're just all fucked up and poor. And then you get withdrawals and you get really sick.

That could fucking kill you, depending upon your health. Depending on how healthy of a heroin person you are. Yeah. Like, I wonder if he calls in sick and everyone's like, he's doing heroin. People do heroin recreationally and they have for a long time. There was this buddy of mine who was a longshoreman in Boston and he worked with this guy who would buy a bag of heroin at lunch every day and he would go in his truck and he would shoot up.

That seems like a lot of heroin. Well, I mean, I don't know how much he did at a time, but this guy was functional. He said he would go in his car, he would shoot up. Everybody knew what he was doing. He would go in his car and shoot up, and he would sit in his car for his hour lunch break, and then he'd go back to work.

No problems. Insane. Insane. I mean, with Xanax, I want to fall asleep. It's a weird thing. I met a guy who was a pool player once. He was a very prominent, top-level pool player where he'd gamble for a lot of money. And we were at a pool hall in White Plains, New York.

And this guy, they called him Buffalo Bill was one of his nicknames. Water Dog was another one of his nicknames. And this dude, he had to do heroin before he played. played and everybody knew and so this guy was gambling with him and this guy um water dog goes into the bathroom locks the door he's in there for like 10 minutes he comes out and he just sits on the chair like this like a billiards chair he sits like this for like 20 minutes just sits there like this. And we're just looking at him. And I was, you know, 23 at the time or something like that.

I was like, look at this motherfucker. Look at him. And then he would get up, and it was like he had shark eyes. There was like no one there. There was no one there. And then he would play pool, and he couldn't miss. He couldn't miss. It was insane. It was insane to watch.

He was playing on these pockets this table these really tight pockets and they're gambling for a lot of money that's not legal he has no nerves there's no nerves he's not feeling any pressure at all he's just playing perfect and everybody watches like holy shit and it made people want to do heroin i just not that it shouldn't have been legal but i'm saying like if you're a pose if you're playing him and you're like against him i'd be like he can't do heroin that just enhances his performance you're talking about pool in uh the pool world everybody does drugs really there's a i mean there's elite players that are completely clean and sober on a professional level like absolutely but in like pool hall gambling drugs were ubiquitous drugs were like

interesting yeah drugs amphetamines were like the the choice pill for people when they gambled like 20 hours in a row they would just take amphetamines and keep gambling i just think like i would be scared to do that addiction is so rampant in my family like my biological father was a drug user. My uncle was a hell's angel. He was on tons of drugs and stuff. So I just feel like, I don't know, I have enough issues. Yeah, I hear you.

I don't know if drug addiction is, I think some of it's got to be physical. Some of it's got to be genetic. It's got to be. It just makes sense. People from some parts of the world where they don't have a history of alcohol, they experience alcohol, they have real problems with it. Part of it's got to be genetic. But then part of it's got to be cultural, too, when you're around all these people. Definitely.

It becomes like learned behavior. It's, you know, release at the end of the day. Give me a fucking beer. Yeah. It's just become something that, you know, gets very ingrained. Yeah. It's just become something that, you know, gets very ingrained. And then also the patterns of behavior that come with alcoholism.

The fucking up and the fucking life falling apart and disastrous choices you make. Driving drunk. Oh, yeah. Just like losing your family. Like there's so many, yeah. Yeah, all that. All that. Just, oof. I mean, how many lives have been lost to drugs that you could buy legally?

Like booze? Sure. Booze has fucked up more people. But I like it. Yeah, of course. I like it. I like a little drink every now and then. I don't think it's like, but the idea that we're protecting people by keeping some drugs illegal. I think what we're doing is we're making a nanny state that we can't get out of.

And we've gotten ourselves into this box, this nanny state box. Maybe down the line it will be legal. It's going to be because it's illegal now in certain states. Like Oregon has essentially decriminalized everything. They've decriminalized cocaine, mushrooms, whatever. You're not supposed to sell it. You can't sell it, but you can have it which is wild so where do you get it from yeah that's a good point you know i don't know if they're specific

about that i don't know if there's like legal distribution so i know they have legal marijuana right but that's that's like 18 states now have legal weed legal weed is pretty pretty well accepted as a good thing. And I think even though there's a lot of right-wing people that smoke weed, and I think that was a big change. Because I think a lot of left-wing people were always associated with marijuana and laziness. And then right-wing people were like, fuck that, fucking potheads. But now a lot of right-wing people, like maybe your dad's got arthritis and he smokes a little weed before he goes to bed and maybe you have an edible and you really like hanging out with your wife and watching movies and then you know you like hey maybe this pots not that bad I know don't you feel like a lot of people are doing coke

like on both sides I think so I mean I know so I know a lot of people are doing coke yeah so it's like I don't. I feel like both sides do everything. Yeah, but I think psychedelics more likely, well, not anymore. I used to say psychedelics more likely to be tried by the left, but God damn, there's a lot of soldiers that have had great benefit with psychedelics. And they've shared those experiences with a lot of other soldiers. And I've had quite a few talk about it on this podcast. with a lot of other soldiers. And I've had quite a few talk about it on this podcast.

But one of the things that MAPS is doing is using MDMA for soldiers with PTSD. And that's shown amazing results. So I think the right is opening up their eyes to it more too. It's like it's a quality of life thing that's probably been here forever. And if you believe in God, he probably put all that stuff here for us. It's just managing it correctly you know the ones that can be beneficial like like mushrooms like mdma like all these things they they have a positive effect when done correctly with the right person and sure and to deny that it's just stupid

at this point to make them schedule one drugs in 2023 with chat gpt and everyone's got 5G. We know what the fuck is going on. Right. Like, stop. But even something like gambling that's legal can still ruin your life. Fuck yeah, it can. Yeah. And I support it.

Yeah, my dad was a gambler. Let's go. We had nothing. He used to gamble with our lives pretty regularly. God, isn't that crazy? When I first started playing pool, that's when I first started being around gamblers. I've never been around

gamblers as a child. And so I never knew what that addiction is like to watch it play out. It's crazy. My dad was just emotionally unavailable. Just always wanted to gamble? Always wanted to gamble. We used to go to the OTB as kids. We went there so often the lady behind the thing had my school picture up.

That's how often we went there. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, he was a bad gambler. But he also didn't make a lot of money, which is crazy, right? It's like you can't be a mailman and a gambler. It gets anybody.

No, I know. It can get anybody. Did you see Uncut Gems? No. It's fucking amazing. Is it? Yeah, it's Adam Sandler plays a gambling addict. Oh, I'll watch it.

And you will get such anxiety while you're watching. You'll be like, oh, Jesus fucking Christ. What are you doing? What are you doing? It's so good. Adam Sandler is so good in it. And it's a dramatic role. I'll watch it. It's not a comedy at all.

Adam Sandler killed it. It's a great movie. Is he like a rich gambler in it? He's a jeweler. Oh, okay. Yeah. And it's great. It's great.

It's great. But those guys are real. I know those guys. I knew a lot of those guys. They would come into the pool hall and just start talking about the loss and the this and i'm gonna get it back and i'm and the the bulls are down by six and they were just they were just in it all the time i was like this is crazy my dad's thing was like otb and gambling and the metal lands and any of that stuff i mean he also i think gambled on football and stuff but

mostly like the horses yeah the horses Atlantic City to stuff like that dog races I'm if he did that, but I'm sure he would I feel like he'd gamble on anything. I Had a friend of mine who adopted a greyhound because one of the ones that was like yeah race and I had an apartment at the time, but I was gonna get one too. They were so cool. They're so sleek. They're so. Yeah. My friend was trying to walk it.

The leashes come off their head, he said. Yeah. Well, not only that, when my friend took his out, he didn't realize. First of all, they're so fast. Oh, yeah. They're very fast. When they go, like you are not catching them. And when he saw a cat, he just went after it.

And so he was off leash in this, like, empty park. He thought he'd be fine. And the fucking greyhound just went for that cat. Well, he's really free now. Yeah. It's like he didn't realize, like, oh, they're not cool with animals. Like, that's the whole thing about racing is they're chasing a rabbit. Right.

If they see an animal, they fucking sprint towards it. Yeah, you can't deprogram that. No, no, no, no. So he realized, like, oh, my God, I got to be really careful with this thing. Can't just, like, ever let it go without a leash. You ever see the little ones, the little greyhounds? No. They have miniature greyhounds.

Miniature greyhounds? Yeah. Aw. They're cute. Let me see, Jamie. They're cute. They're, like, just big greyhounds. Theyature greyhounds? Yeah. Aw. They're cute. Let me see, Jamie. They're cute. They're like just big greyhounds. They have the same thing.

You know what the weirdest dog is? Which one? A whippet with myostatin inhibitor. I don't even know what that is. A whippet is this cute dog. Aw, look at the little cutie. Yeah. Oh, that's adorable.

That was a little cuddle dog. They're fast. Wow, look at them go adorable. That was a little cuddle dog. They're fast. Wow, look at them go. Look how they cross their legs like that. They just get so much fucking torque. They have so much energy. So there's a dog called a Whippet. And every now and then they have a genetic anomaly.

It's a myostatin inhibitor. And it causes them their uncontrollable growth of muscles. What do they look like? Freaks. They don't even look like they. What do they look like? Freaks. They don't even look like they're real. They look like a comic superhero, like if you had injected a comic book superhero dog with Hulk serum.

It just went... Are they fighting those things? No, no, no, no. Look, that's what it looks like. Oh, gross. Isn't that crazy? Look how jacked he is. That's like natural?

Yeah, it's just a natural genetic anomaly. But why wouldn't you fight that? That thing is huge. Because they're nice. They don't want to fight. No, I know, but they're teaching other dogs to fight. I'm surprised they don't use these guys. Well, it's not really as much about the strength of all those extra big muscles.

Those are going to cause you to get tired quicker. And then on top of that, it's really the bite of the jaw. That's true. The strength of the bite and then also the game instinct. So some dogs, when they get hurt, they want to get out of there. And pit bulls don't care about that. Right. And that's bred into them.

So when a dog would cower away, they wouldn't allow that dog to breed. And a lot of places they kill the dog. That was the whole uh thing when they whenever they catch dog fighting the horrible things like what they do the dogs who lose they don't let sad because they don't want them to breed like if a dog quits they just kill that dog i remember when uh everything was going on with michael vick and i didn't know what he looked like and i just seen this guy on the front of the newspaper i go who's this guy he's hot and so i was like that's mich Michael Vick. And I was like, oh, that hurts so bad. Yeah, he was involved in that stuff.

I knew a dude at one point in time. He had like 13 dogs in his yard in, I think it was in Oklahoma. And my friend was like, I think he really likes dogs. I go, nah. I go, he's got 13 pit bulls on chains in his yard. I go, that guy fights dogs. Yeah, that's gross. I hate that.

He was a dog fighting, gambling guy, so he was breeding dogs for dog fights. That's still going on right now in this country. Of course, yeah. Underground dog fights. I can't see that. Nothing makes me more upset than that, I think. That is horrible.

What's really fucked up is the dogs are wagging their tails. Well, because they think that they're doing good. Yeah, they enjoy that fight. God damn it. It's so awful. It's just so crazy that that's going on right now. So much stuff is going on right now. So much stuff is going on right now. Someone's getting sex trafficked right now.

Right now. Right across the border. Yeah. Whenever I go to the airport and they have those signs in the bathroom, like, if you're being sex trafficked, I'm like, you think they're letting them go in the bathroom? Right. Fuck. It's just so hard to believe that some people are that evil. Money makes people do crazy stuff. i think your circumstances too if you don't have money and you're like this is something i could

do it's still shitty but i think some people are like i have no other choice yeah it doesn't make it right they have no other choice but to sex traffic can't you sell stuff yeah they're selling the women i think it's the amount of money too yes i think if you're selling you know knives door-to-door you're not making as much it's like i tried doing this for a year i wasn't making a lot of money knives door-to-door imagine having enthusiasm for that job no fuck this is how you have to feed yourself sell knives i remember when i first started doing stand-up i would bark for stage time which is basically like hey do you want to come to a

comedy show and like i was so bad at it because people just be like no i'm like all right i'm like i get it this is so i mean i felt so dumb doing it did you develop strategies on like how to talk to people no though i just hated I like, it's weird to just be on the street as a salesman and be like, hey, come to this show. I think that's only

a New York City thing. It might be. Have you seen it before? I've seen it here on 6th Street. Oh, in Austin? For other things too.

For stand-up shows? For stand-up, yes, and I've seen it for other shows here too. No shit. For other shows. I wonder if they got it

from New York. I wonder. I don't know. I haven't paid attention. I'd always heard of it from New York. I wonder. I don't know. I haven't paid attention. I'd always heard of it primarily as a New York thing. I knew a lot of New York guys used to do that in the early days. Yeah, and especially in Manhattan. Everyone's walking, so you can just catch people like that.

Yeah. But I was not good at it at all. Manhattan's an interesting place for comedy, you know, because there's so many clubs. So many clubs so many clubs even so many like good bar shows and like lounges so you can get a lot of stage time yeah and there's a lot of comics there too there's so many comics and a lot of people kind of sprung up after the pandemic too like a lot of people that had like social media big social media presence and then they just kind of switched into stand up.

Like if you're just doing funny videos. Right. So I think there's more people like that too, doing stand up. Well, if your job got taken away from you during the pandemic, I would imagine that would be a good time to try stand up. If you'd always wanted to do it. Sure, while you're getting money from the government, of course. How many open mic nights do they have? Do they have a lot of open mic nights do they have they have a lot

of open mic nights oh there's mics every night really you can do probably like six a night if you like set it up right you could do a ton of mics wow but they're expensive what do you mean you gotta pay you gotta pay like five bucks or buy a drink or because like what are they getting out of it if you don't do that what is like this bar getting you have to pay to do stand-up yeah wow and you're doing it for other comics so you're not doing it for like audience usually sometimes most of the time and people still don't quit wow you think you would weed them out what kind of an audience you're talking about like how many people are supposed to be there i mean i haven't done in a long time but when i was doing it you're say there's comics on the mic, you're doing it for those 15 people.

And if it's a random bar, maybe some people will come in off the street or like at the bar. But yeah, you're doing it for comics. So you're paying to do comedy to your peers? Yes. Wow. Why am I surprised by that? I don't know. What?

Go ahead. It sounds a lot like why not just go to stand-up school then or classes or whatever, you know? Paying for time. I think it is stand-up school. But it's like there's no teacher. Right. But it is stand-up school. It's just like you're on a path.

Yeah. I mean that's – I know in other places, like my friend had come from Seattle and was doing stand-up. She said like in Seattle there's an actual audience. There might be 100 people, so it's a show. Yeah. But in New York, that's not. It's a lot of comics in the audience. Hmm.

Comics who are, like, looking at their own notes and not necessarily paying attention. Do any of the good clubs have open mics? Like, does the Cellar have an open mic night? No. I know The Stand has an open mic night and maybe New York Comedy Club. I think you kind of have to have an open mic night? No. I know The Stand has an open mic night and maybe New York Comedy Club. I think you kind of have to have an open mic night. The seller doesn't. It seems like it would be better if they did.

I know it wouldn't be better financially. No, but if you did it during the day when you're not having shows anyway. It's just people need places to go up. You're not having shows anyway. It's just people need places to go up. It's like if your growth process is dependent upon you doing stand-up in front of 15 comics. Well, that's why, you know, you start barking. Or I would intern for like 10 hours on a Friday night seating the customers and then like get a five-minute spot.

You had to intern? Yeah, I did wild stuff. Like that's how I came up doing stand-up because i was like the open mics are just like other new comics so so you would intern meaning you'd work for free i'd work for free you could do a five minute set and may and a lot of times that set's gonna get canceled so you'd work for free work for free never get compensated. No. You either sometimes got a spot or sometimes didn't. Wow. So you'd work for free for 10 hours? Yeah.

For a five-minute spot. Mm-hmm. That may not happen. Well, that will fucking weed out the week. Yeah, but like not, like my family life was so dysfunctional that that seemed normal. I was like, this seems like seems like okay this seems average to me just used to disappointment yeah you're just used to it you're like this seems average this seems like what i've been dealing with wow well you found your tribe i found my

tribe yeah wild tribe it's just so interesting when you meet someone like Ari, like when I met him at the very beginning and see him now. It's funny. It's fascinating watching these broken toys meander their way through our society. It's funny. Me and him were talking last night at your club and he was just talking about, like, I guess dating people and stuff. And he's like, well, you and I are broken. I was like, what are you talking about? He guess dating people and stuff and he's like well you and i are broken i was like i was like what are you talking about he's like adrian it's like nobody's nobody's going they want to date somebody like you he's like you need a lot of time to yourself and i was like oh

he's not wrong and he's the same way too like he just he was telling me about like this couple he had met that they live they're married 40 years but they live in different houses and he's like they have a great relationship they don't fight about like the little things that a lot of people do when you live together he's like they have a great relationship and i was like that's not the worst idea it's not the worst idea the idea that you have to be in the same house together it's like says who like people like a little space, people like a little space. Yeah, I mean, at one point, I had a two-bedroom apartment. Me and my ex-boyfriend slept separately.

I mean, we also had a terrible relationship, but, like, we had our own bedrooms. Hmm. Like, I wouldn't be opposed to that. It doesn't seem like the worst thing in the world, but whenever you see a couple where they don't sleep in the same bed anymore, you're like, ooh, sad.

I know. We all judge them, but I'm like, they're sleeping great that's mark's room over there i sleep over here i know but if you say it like that's his room this is my room i think you gotta figure out how we were saying it yeah and then also some people like to sleep in the room really fucking cold that shit's annoying if you don't like that i I like, I like like a fan all year round. I like the noise. The noise. Yeah. Yeah. There's something about like static noise. It does help

you sleep. Yeah. I just like it. I like the sound of an air conditioner, like in the summer. I slept at this house in Malibu once by the ocean and, uh, I, we rented it out for a couple months and uh when you're in bed and you just hear the that sounds like really relaxing it is so it's weird it's like it's like hypnotic yeah and it's also it's so powerful you're you're you're laying down at the base of just insane force of nature. This immense body of water. And you've got the audacity to sleep at the edges. At the edges where this impossible amount of water laps up. That's where you want to put your house.

I've had nightmares about like just a tsunami just like engulfing my house. I'd love being at that place, but it was very illuminating. It's very illuminating why rich people want to live right on the water in Malibu. Because I was like, why do they want to live right next to each other like that? That's crazy. And then you rent a house there and you're like, oh, I get it. This is like magic. There's something magic about the water being rented for you.

I would love to live on a beach. It's magic. It's like it gives you magic energy. It's crazy. There's something about it, like being right there. It's like, wow, this feels like I'm on a drug. And it's so calming. So calming.

But at nighttime, it's terrifying. The same water that looks so inviting in the daytime, what's blue and you see the seagulls and it's beautiful, at nighttime it becomes an angry monster that can swallow civilization just dark dark black you don't know what you can't see anything you don't know what it it's an immense thing and at any point in time the earth could just a little shift and then a big one comes in. And then just all the way to Arizona.

Just all the way to Arizona. I think anything at night is a lot scarier. Oh, yeah. Like, I'll come home 3 o'clock at night and I'll have to park two blocks away and I'm just like, I have, like, you know, pepper spray in my hand and I have the whole thing. Yeah. Whereas during the day, it's, like, just different. I know.

thing yeah whereas during the day it's like just different I know the different things some things are really scary but only in certain circumstances like babies are never scary but if you were in a moonlit forest and you walk through the forest you saw a naked baby just staring at you by itself you would shit your pants I would definitely not help it. If you saw a baby just standing upright, just looking at you naked, the moonlit forest, in the middle of nowhere, you had to hike in, and you see a naked baby, you're like,

I gotta get the fuck out of here. Yeah. First I'd be like, where's this kid's parents? Right, for sure. For sure you'd be where this kid's parents, but you'd also be like, why is there a naked baby staring at me like a grown person? It's got to be evil. Right.

Anything at night like that, it's evil. You'd think it's a demon. During the day, you're like, look at this baby. It's standing. If I was a demon, I would disguise myself as a baby. It's a good move. Everybody thinks you're cute. Or a cute dog.

Or a cute dog, yeah. Definitely not that whippet. Yeah. They were kind of cute. They still had a cute dog. Or a cute dog. Yeah. Definitely not that whippet. Yeah. They were kind of cute. They still had a cute face. You know, they didn't have a mean, like, pit bull looking face. They had a cute whippet face. I would pick something else over it.

They have cows like that, too. Really? Yeah. When not on Jack, they look like greyhounds. Yeah, they do. Whippets are really fast, too. That's what they look like normal. They look like a greyhound.

Yeah, real similar. So what is the difference? Little cutie Look at that little cutie It's this myostatin inhibitor gene This gene is fucked up on some of them Oh it's related to the greyhound Makes sense

It looks like it And apart from its smaller size Closely resembles it Sometimes described as a poor man's greyhound Yeah they're fast little fuckers What is that myostatin gene? Like, what causes that? Because it happens in cows, too.

They've had it in dairy cows. It's crazy. Like, you see a cow just fucking super hulk. So if you drink that milk, are you gonna get ripped? No. No, it's a gene thing. It's an inherited muscular disorder.

Kids have had it, too. Human kids have gotten it. Really? Yeah, which is crazy, you see like a baby That looks like a bodybuilder, it's weird It's a deficiency Yeah, it's a myostatin Myostatin deficiency, whippet type is an inherited muscular disorder

Affecting whippets, dogs that Inherit two copies of the mutation associated With myostatin deficiency Whippet type have broad chest and overly Developed muscles, especially of the neck and legs As well as an overbite. See if you can find that in cows. Myostatin, just write myostatin cows.

Yeah, so look at that cow. Look at the size of that dairy cow. That's a girl. Look how jacked she is. I wonder if that's more attractive to the bulls. I wonder, right? Are they like, that one's hot. Bulls that are in the, like a guy who was in a CrossFit chicks?

Yeah. Yeah. Look at that. Isn't that wild? Look at the size of that goddamn thing. Born without the protein myostatin. Yeah. So myostatin, I guess, is what regulates muscle growth.

And if you don't have it, it's not regulated. That's why. They were experimenting with that with human beings, too. And I know, I'm sure, like, Eastern Bloc countries are doing that for the Olympics and shit like that. I would imagine. But, yeah, they did it to mice. Look at the musculature on these mice. It's crazy.

What's crazy is they just skin these mice, and we don't give a fuck. If I see one of those in my house, I'd move out. Look at the fucking back on these mice. It's crazy. What's crazy is they just skin these mice and we don't give a fuck. If I see one of those in my house, I'd move out. Look at the fucking back on that dude. What they've done, like people have been born with it too. I know that there was like a German boy that was born with it.

He was fucking jacked, like a little kid. It's crazy. Yeah. So like how's that kid going to play sports? Like what's going to happen? That's not fair fair it's like you're playing sports with the hulk i mean we'll find out in like 15 years yeah i guess the greatest running back of all time i just like playing chess i really don't want to be i don't want to be on the football team he's like the hulk playing chess yeah yeah

maybe maybe he rebels because everybody wants him to get into physical pursuits. He's like, fuck you. Yeah. Look at that kid. Isn't that nuts? Vietnamese boy. So he's got it. That dude's going to be popular in high school.

That is crazy. Nuts. Isn't that nuts? Imagine going to school with that kid. You'd be so jealous. God damn it. Wouldn't you love it if he's your brother, though, and anyone picks on you? Unless your brother wants you to fucking eat shit.

Well, that's true. He makes you eat shit, but he also sticks up for you at school. Yeah, if he's a good brother. But if your brother's mean and he's got that, you're fucked. I feel like you torture your brother or sister, but you don't let somebody else do it. your brother or sister, but you don't let somebody else do it. I know guys that had terrible brothers who beat them up all their life.

But do they let other people also beat them up? If someone's beating you up, but they protect you from being occasionally beaten up by others? It's the price you pay. I'm not willing to make that. You have to sleep in the same fucking house as that asshole

yeah but your parents hopefully are there sometimes and they're stopping it sometimes oh now you're unrealistic he's gonna make a fighter yeah you do make fighters that's what I'm talking about a lot of the guys I'm talking about are fighters they were just really beaten up by their brothers

and they're the scariest guys because they're not afraid to fight because they fought their whole life and it doesn't matter if they're little either they're the scariest guys because they're not afraid to fight because they fought their whole life. And it doesn't matter if they're little either. They're scrappy. Yeah, one of the best guys ever in the UFC, Matt Hughes, former welterweight champion,

had a brother who was his twin and they were both like elite wrestlers and they both just beat the fuck out of each other. And it led to him becoming the UFC welterweight champion of the world and one of the greatest of all time. I mean, that is... It's just like the guy that went to prison

and became a lawyer. It can happen that way. Yeah. A negative turns into a positive. Yeah, I can see it that way. I knew another dude, though. He got beat up by his brother and it just destroyed his confidence

his whole life. His whole life. I became friends with him, like, in my 20s and that sucks it was a bummer man he could just like not get past it he couldn't you know i wonder what if and he had never done mdma i had neither at the time i wonder if that would have helped him in any way to just recognize what the root of it was but it just like really fucked with his confidence he would get like really close to getting good at stuff but he almost had like this self-defense self-sabotage thing that would kick in because everybody had already always taken things from him like it had always been like he thought things were going to

go well and his brother just fucked it up and beat him up or took things from him humiliated him and so he never felt like real success. So he was always scared to progress in life. So he'd always self-sabotage his life. Right, because he just thought everything was going to turn to shit. But he was a good guy and a smart guy, just trapped by this childhood repeated beatings that he got. All right, Joe.

Well, maybe it's not great always. Maybe it's not always going to turn out well. Sometimes it's good, though. Sometimes it's good. If the brother's a good guy, if you're both good people, like, you know, brothers fight and they make up and they apologize. Sure. Just like friends do.

You know, friends fight and make up when you're young. Me and my sister would fight a lot. Fist fight? Yeah. you're three years apart i remember my mom was like still hitting me until i was like about 16 and then at one point i was like hey i'm gonna hit you back and then she stopped because at some point you become almost like right yeah but that's kind of how like we grew up like my mom got into a fistfight at my sister's kindergarten graduation. I'm like, you're fighting over fucking kindergartners? No one cares.

They've accomplished nothing. Oh, my God. I watched a shooting over a high school football game. Oh, my God. I saw that, too. That was terrible. Oh, it's so horrible. So sad. Just such a fucking, just a terrible thing where just people with their kids and emotions and sports, people get so nutty with their kids with sports.

You know, I am, I like, like big on saying you did a great job and cheering and stuff like that. But I would never yell about the other team. No. And some parents are like, what about him? What about offense? What about that foul? What about that foul? He's a cheater.

He's a cheater. Yelling. Like, that's a six-year-old. Like, are you out of your fucking mind? Like, let him play. It's his play. You should clap when they do a good job. Just say, was it fun?

Did you enjoy it? Was it hard? Was it hard to make that goal? Like, talk to them. But don't get too goddamn emotionally invested in a fucking game your kid's in. Like, cheer. Be enthusiastic for them. But fuck.

People get so hyped. That's a bad call. And they jump up and next thing you know, gunshots. Fuck. That's crazy. Now you've really ended the game. There's no way to even recover from this right now. You've ended your whole life.

You've ended your whole life. Your whole life is fucked. I think too sometimes like parents also think they can push their kids to be, like, great athletes and then they'll be famous. Yeah. Well, there's also, like, your kid's going to do the thing that you didn't do. Right. Yeah, you wanted to do it, but you didn't do it. What's interesting is my mom kind of got me into stand-up because she did stand-up, and then she quit, and then she got me into it.

And then when she saw I was doing some stuff, she was like, I'm going to go back into it. Wow. Yeah. Is she doing it now? now she does she does a lot of urban rooms really yeah is she good she's funny she i mean like we're a little bit different but like she still has that same dark sense of humor but she won't she doesn't really do those jokes like sometimes she'll think of something and she's like you could you could do this. Like she one time we were clothes shopping and she'll always say something like if she'll take two larges. And she's like, well, one large might be bigger than the other because the kids that are making them, maybe one of the kids was tired. Like so she'll say stuff like that. And she's like, I can't say that on stage, but you should do stuff like that.

My whole family was funny, though, growing up. So when did you first think about doing stand-up? I was probably in my early 20s. I always wanted to be on SNL. I never really wanted to do stand-up comedy. I wanted to be on SNL. And then my mom was like, well, if you want to be on SNL, you have to do stand-up. So then I just started doing stand-up, and then I started liking it.

But I didn't want to be a stand-up comic as a kid. Really? Yeah. Who was the people on SNL? What era was this? Will Ferrell, Chris Farley, those guys. That was the people that I kind of grew up with and loved. Molly Shannon, Sherry O'Terry, that whole crew. Yeah, that was a people that I kind of grew up with and loved Molly Shannon Sherry O'Terry

like that whole crew yeah that was a great crew yeah so that's kind of where I was like oh I want to do that and she was like well you have to do stand up

and I had zero interest in doing it had you done any drama or anything in school you know we did like plays as kids I was like in the sound of music

I played that lady do a deer a female deer that's awesome as kids I was like in the sound of music I played that lady. Doe, a deer, a female deer. Yeah. That's awesome. So like I did stuff like that. But I just, I don't know, I was always kind of like a class clown as a kid. Oh. So then I wanted to do that.

And now I'm like not really the same as that. It's weird. Because you get it all out on stage? No, but I'm just saying I was like a class clown, but I was also like loud and like boisterous where I'm not that same person anymore. Or I don't think I am anyway. What calmed it? I don't know. I think just depression.

I don't know. I think as a kid, I just, even though my life looking back was not ideal, I still felt really happy. You know, like I didn't realize like all the issues as a kid really. So, I don't know. And then where'd you start out? Oh, New York City. I'm from New York. I've lived in the Bronx my whole life.

So I started in New York. So it's also weird too because you're like starting in a place where people don't move until they're really good. So I started in New York and just being shitty. Where did you start? At a bar? Where did you start? The first place I went to was in Brooklyn. It was, I guess, an open mic.

It was in like a big Italian restaurant. There were four people there. What year was this? 2004. Wow. My mom was there. My mom went on. She did well. Italian restaurant there were four people there what year was this 2004 my mom was there my mom went on she did well and then I went up and I was like so high energy because I was so nervous I remember one of my jokes was about like I was working in the South Bronx as a crimes victims advocate at the time and I got pulled over for not wearing a seatbelt while someone was selling drugs

right near me and I was like just the lunacy of it where I was like why am I getting this guy's clearly selling drugs to somebody that was like one of my first jokes something like that and then when you got off stage did you think this is something I'm gonna do more of were you yeah I I think because that show went well even though there were four people i was like i'm gonna keep doing this that show went well and there's four people there were four people and it was in a huge italian restaurant that was like closing like they were like going out of business so there was nobody there wow and so then when was the next one i didn't wait that long um maybe a couple days later.

I remember like driving into Manhattan and going to do this open mic called Collective Unconscious. And it's like wild. Like there was a guy there at one point that had like elephantitis. So he would go on stage naked and his balls were humongous. And he had like this tiny dick in it. He was making people uncomfortable because he was like naked the whole show. Like sitting in the audience. And people were like, you got to wear clothes until you get on stage and he was like all right but like he would just be sitting there like his bare ass is on the chair and you're just right so people are like hey can you put your clothes drop a chip yeah can you just wear your clothes until you're on stage doing that? God.

But that was like a weird collection of people. Yeah, I would imagine a guy that would fit in there. Just everything like you. Where the only requirement would be just wear your clothes until you get on stage. And not at first. They let him do that until he was creepy. So like if he didn't act like a creepster, he could have just been naked the whole time. Didn't act like a creepster. Yeah, but like they naked the whole time. Didn't act like a creepster.

Yeah, but they were okay with it at first. They were like, all right. And it's not like he did anything great on stage. It was just seeing his huge balls, which is nuts. I don't know how you're like. How big? Elephant tights are like this big. They're huge.

So like as big as a head? Maybe like half of that. Half a head? Half a head for one though. So like yeah, maybe that whole thing. And then like you can't even see the dick. Well, he wants you to feel bad for him. I didn't even feel bad.

I was just like gross. I don't really care about your fucking big balls. Did you find out about the different mics from your mom? No. I went on to, like, there was a couple of websites you could go on to where they have a bunch of different open mics and you could do a couple.

I remember it was a lottery, so if there's 30 people and you get picked first, you could pick where on the lineup you want to go, and I would just pick, like, 30. Because I was so nervous. I'd just stay there for hours. Wow. Yeah yeah it's an interesting group of people though and then sometimes my mom would come to come with me and at that time I was dating a guy who would also come so the three of us would go yeah interesting were they encouraging

yeah like you mean my mom yeah and the guy you're dating yeah yeah I mean me and him met we were both brand new and then my mom was encouraging because I think she was just like, well, maybe you'll hit it and you'll help me. And I was like, it should be the other way around. It's interesting the people that you meet when you're doing open mics. It's a fascinating introduction to like this weird world. Of weirdos. Of weirdos and desperation and mental illness and mental illness a lot of mental

illness like like really nutty people yeah and you could do anything there so you could not only do comedy you could do like poetry you could sing so it was like a variety open mic kind of wow and you can get upstairs and show your balls yeah that guy was doing anybody ever try to do that that had regular balls after that because imagine if they found out there's a place you could just get naked in front of people they had to look at you i mean i not while i was there i never seen anyone that was like following him with like regular balls they're like here's the big ball guy another small ball yeah i mean like that's what i'm asking like once a precedent is set that you could be on stage naked like is it only if you look weird i think they would let you do whatever you wanted there as long as it wasn't

like creeping people out like they'd probably let you go on stage and spread your ass cheeks and stuff in it like i think they would be open to whatever you wanted to do but you had to try you were, you could set a precedent every time, you know? Thank God for people like that running those kind of establishments. It was fun.

Yeah. And, you know, there was a lot of like, you know, my mom would come sometimes, she'd be like, that guy's really talented, but he would just be like

an alcoholic. She'd be like, he's not going to go anywhere. I never seen him after that, but like, yeah. A lot of people in comedy, it's not the funniest people that make it. Right. Yeah, oh, yeah, a lot of people in comedy, it's not the funniest people that make it.

Right. Yeah. Oh, I remember a lot of people that were really talented in the early days. I'm like, why is this guy not making it? And then there was a lot of people that were really talented and then they were on their way to making it. Like they were doing well and headlining and then they just fell apart. Like something in their life happened or like.

Yeah. Schizophrenia. Yeah. Like there's that with some of them, you know, or some other sort of mental disease. Yeah. You know, sometimes people crack. There's a lot of pressure involved. I mean, just think of it, just the pressure of constantly performing, doing sets, writing new material, having to sell tickets, doing radio.

Sure, yeah. There's a lot of stress in that and then i think for some people when things start getting more and more hectic whatever problems that they and as you get older too like people that are like tend to have mental illnesses they exacerbate they get better they get worse rather when they get older i could see that especially if it's not treated yeah so a lot of these people like you would meet them and then you know you did open mics together like you you were in the trenches together start out and then you see him like 20 years later and it didn't work like they you know see him at an open mic night again

and they're still doing kind of the same material i've seen that too people that were really talented and they just you know lost it to drugs or alcohol. And you're like, oh, that's a shame because that person definitely could have went far. How many people out of the starting class of where you were at, where the people you remember in the early days are still around?

A bunch, I mean, I don't know. I guess I went to a lot of different open mics and shows. But there's a lot of people I kind of started with, I guess. I don't know. I guess I remember like some... I've also watched people quit and I've seen the moment they've quit. Like I remember being at a show and this guy was like humping the stool. And this other guy couldn't get on the show and he saw that. And he's like, I can't believe I can't get on the show.

And then he quit. That was it. He's like, they're letting this guy hump a stool. And then that guy, who I thought would have went far because he was talented. I mean, that humping the stool wasn't great. But he was talented. And then all the clubs he worked at closed and he quit. He didn't just go to another club.

He just was like, all right, I'm going to sell real estate. Yeah. You have to be really mentally ill to stay the path. Absolutely. That's why I think I did all that stuff and just thought it was normal. Like I didn't think like I shouldn't be treated like this. Yeah, I didn't have a path that was nearly as hard. I was really lucky that in Boston in the 1980s, there was a lot of open mic nights at legitimate clubs so I started stitches

which is a legitimate club in Boston was a great club and on the open mic nights not only was it an open mic night but it was hosted by a professional this guy George McDonald and then a lot of really good professionals from town would stop in so you get to see people there was just so much better than than you you could see like these brilliant comedians and so it was a real good scene for development because all the clubs had an open mic night every club had an open mic night was there audience or it was oh yeah oh okay yeah yeah you would go to an open mic like the when i went to an open mic night there was like 50 people in the crowd. Oh, yeah. That's a lot better. It was good. It was good because, first of all, they called it comedy hell.

It was George McDonald, who was a known stand-up in Boston. So he was headlining all over the place anyway. So people knew who he was. And then he would go on. And he was like a real veteran. He'd been doing comedy forever. And he was one of the guys that came up through the ding-ho and that whole When uh when stand-up stood out documentary have you ever seen that amazing that was really good that was all about those guys right and so you could always get people that would go because he would always

be funny anyway it's only like fucking five bucks to get in or something like that and you go and have a couple of drinks and hopefully somebody funny will come by and you as an open micer got to go on stage in that environment it was incredible it was amazing you mean a lot of comics that like took you on the road no no um mostly what happened was i did well enough in open mics that um one guy took me on the road that was actually george's brother warren warren mcdonald took me on the road that was the first time i ever got paid and the second time i ever got paid um someone had introduced me to this guy mike clark who was lenny clark's brother so i got to open for lenny clark the second time i ever got paid it was

insane because he had already done hbo and uh lenny you know was super sweet to me he said i'm really funny he gave me a bunch of advice. And then his brother started using me. So his brother would use me to open in these weird little bar shows all over the New Hampshire area, Connecticut. He had gigs everywhere. And you would go and do these fucking crazy bar shows. So I learned how to do stand-up mostly from going on the road, mostly doing bar shows. So like a year in, I was just traveling, doing a half an hour. That's how people are doing stand-up outside of New York.

Yeah. Didn't you say you don't like performing in Connecticut? Connecticut sucks. It's a terrible state. You know I did like a charity show there and I got taken off stage. They pulled you off stage? Yeah. For what?

Oh, I heard about this. That was Connecticut. That was Connecticut. Okay. So what happened? So I, you know, it was like 500 people there. There's, I guess they were making, it was for kids that were like, you know, less fortunate, I guess, giving them food or, you know, opportunities or whatever. And I was like, oh, I don't know how this is going to go. So the girl before me is doing really well. She did a joke about pedophiles. I get on stage and I was like, oh, I wasn't going to do my joke about that. But I was like, oh, these people love that joke that she did.

And this is allegedly. So I don't know exactly why, but allegedly this is why I think I was taken off stage. So I'm going up. I'm doing well. I'm getting like applause break. So I'm going up. I'm doing well. I'm getting like applause breaks. So I'm like, oh, I could definitely do this joke. And the joke is about how I want to be rich, but not too rich. I want to stop right before it's okay to fuck kids.

And these are very rich people. And I didn't think they were that rich. And one of the punchlines is like about comparing like poor pedophiles to rich pedophiles and how like a poor pedophile is like a guy that works at UBS that fucks a kid. And it's sad, but like how rich people fuck kids. And it's like a party. You know, they're on a boat high fiving each other. And I did that joke and I lost a lot of the audience. And I was like, OK.

And then I did a couple more jokes and it was like definitely different in the room. And then somebody came on stage and got me off, and I was like, what's weird is everyone's like, aren't you mad? I'm like, no, this is not my first charity show I've gotten taken off stage. I shouldn't do these shows, and whenever people ask me,

I'm like, I don't think I'm ready for this. How many minutes were you in before you told her? 15. So you'd kill her for 15 minutes? Yeah, and I think I can definitely do this joke, because this girl, now her joke wasn't as specific, but what I was told later is like,

allegedly there's a guy in the community who is a rich pedophile with a boat that was fucking kids in the community. And I was like, I'm like, how, why would I know that? And I was like, oh,

that makes a lot of sense. Damn it. If you didn't do that joke, if I didn't do that joke, I would have been fine because they liked me. They really did like me. Oh, my God. You were making fun of them and you're being mean to them. I didn't think they were rich enough.

I didn't think they were, fuck, kids rich. You know what I mean? Well, it was probably just one guy. Yes. Well, okay. But maybe. I don't know. The rich people pedophile ring is one of the scariest conspiracies.

I mean, so I get off stage. I'm fine. Because I think I would have been more upset if I didn't get taken off stage at another charity show. And the other comic, Corey Rodriguez, was like fucking pissed. He was like, aren't you mad? I'm like, hey, listen, if they want me off stage, I'll get off stage. I've already gotten paid. I get that. My comedy is not for everybody, and know that you know maybe as an earlier comic it would have hurt my feelings but i'm like i get that so he goes on stage and he's like he's upset about what

happened and there are people in the audience that are also upset it was like i split the room which is what i do a lot and then he was like well adrian's still here so if you enjoyed her like let her know and then people were standing and clapping so it was like people that i had those people and then people who were clapping when i got taken off so i was like yeah i'm just not doing any more charity shows yeah well you don't have to at this point no and i just don't think i'm right for but i always ask these people too because the guy that booked it eddie brill who uh i know eddie yeah he's a great guy. Boston guy too. Yes and he was at the when I opened for Louis at Madison Square Garden he was there and saw it

and he was like I said to him I go do you think I'm right for this gig? And he was like yeah if they can't take a joke fuck them and I'm like are you sure? Because he had seen a lot of the jokes that I did and he was like yeah I think you'll be fine. You would have been fine. I would have if I didn't do that one joke.

But I didn't. How would I know that? There's no way to know. The joke was fine if it wasn't for that one neighborhood where that actually happened. How the fuck could you know that? I mean, I've made a mistake of doing a school shooting joke too close to somewhere. So then I would start looking that up. Has there been a school shooting in this area? I was was like I guess that's a new thing to look up

Jesus there's no way to know that yeah how could you do it that's a great story though yeah sounds like they were okay and they were okay and there were a lot of people in the audience that were still okay and they were like we laughed we thought it was funny and they're like fuck them yeah they probably didn't know anybody who knew somebody who had a kid that got fucked I think they were like, we laughed. We thought it was funny. And they're like, fuck them. Yeah. They probably didn't know anybody who knew somebody who had a kid that got fucked. I think they were just like, hey, also, I was like, well, that seemed like a you problem. Yeah. Like, don't get mad

at me. Not only that, I'm sorry the joke was accurate. Yeah. That's what's crazy. That is what's crazy. Yeah. Anywhere else you do that joke in Montana, people are laughing their ass off. You do it there. Yeah. So they were like, no, that's, people are laughing their ass off. You do it there. Yeah. Yeah.

So they were like, no, that's not why you got taken off stage. They are saying that I got taken off stage for an adoption joke. What was the adoption joke? You don't have to tell her. I don't know, but there was a lady who had also adopted a kid and they thought she was interacting with me. They thought that she was angry and she wasn't. When I was talking to her after, she was like, I wasn't upset. Oh, so it was an excuse.

I don't know. They're just saying that. Yeah. I don't know. So allegedly that's what happened. And they're just like, that's not what happened. I'm like, all right. One of my best friends lives in Connecticut.

Just for. So does one of mine. I love him. But Connecticut, you couldn't suck it. It's weird because I've gone there and done shows opening for Louis, and they've been great. There are people there that are fun, but then there's also the other people that are like, don't get comedy at all. This is the problem with Connecticut. It's not a real state.

It's a highway between Boston and New York. Sure. And the problem is there's no hope there. Nobody hopes they move to Hartford. I mean, there are people that hope they move to Greenwich, though. Sure. And the problem is there's no hope there. Like nobody like hopes they move to Hartford. I mean there are people that hope they move to Greenwich though.

Yeah. So you could be with all those boat riding pedophile type people. Maybe. Well there's a lot of rich folks that live in those havens.

Right. Where everything's like tucked away and grand manors and huge houses and great Gatsby type shit. There's a lot of those folks. But they're just like people that have a house on an island.

You know what I mean? Are you really from Hawaii or do you have a fucking house in Maui? You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like they've kind of incorporated into the area. Yeah, if Connecticut ceased to exist, nobody would care. It's just a weird place because, I mean, I've met a lot of fun people from Connecticut, but the place itself has a low vibration.

It's like there's not a lot of hope and exciting things. It's not like going to Manhattan. It's not like going to Boston. It's not like going to L.A. It's not like even like LA. It's not like even like Austin, which is only a million people. It's not like Dallas, where it's fun. It's fucking

gloomy. There's something gloomy. They have amazing pizza in New Haven, though. Oh, yeah. I know that pizzeria. Oh, shit. There's a lot of pizzerias in New Haven. I like going to Connecticut because I do like how it is a slower pace. Like I've lived in New York City my whole life.

I like hate it. If I wasn't doing stand-up, I wouldn't live there. That's where Lyme disease came from. The Bronx or Connecticut? That sounds about right. That's their contribution. Yeah. They give everybody Lyme disease.

I don't know if that's true. Isn't it like Lyme, Connecticut? Is that where it was originally? Isn't that something like that? There's a CIA conspiracy about the Lyme, Connecticut? Is that where it was originally? Isn't that something like that? There's a CIA conspiracy about the Lyme disease. What is the CIA saying? No, no, no, no. I mean, not real.

Not like the CIA saying it. Oh, okay. But like the kooks. And I don't even know if they're kooks. That it was a bioweapon that accidentally got released. That these infected ticks were part of a lab program. I don't know. Maybe.

Is it like COVID? Just made in a lab. Oh. But they definitely do things like that in some countries. Somewhere. They definitely make bioweapons. But whether or not Lyme disease is one of them. But goddamn, that's a terrible one to get.

I know a lot of people that got Lyme disease. But you don't die from it, right? You get fucked up if you don't get it treated quickly. Is it physically debilitating? Oh, debilitating. Depending upon the severity, obviously. But I know people that have had horrible

joint pain, neck pain, spinal pain. That sucks. They're just in agony all the time. People have just lost all of their energy. They just feel depleted. That sucks. And a people who just lost all of their, all their like energy, they just feel depleted. That sucks. And a lot of times they don't even recognize it in people because if you don't get it treated, if you don't get it diagnosed while you still have, like there's like a bullseye ring around the tick bite if when it initially becomes infected.

Okay. And if they don't catch that, um, if they don't find that, then they don't know it's Lyme disease, so they don't start treating you with antibiotics. They might think, oh, you know, seems fine, your vitals check fine, and then it progresses worse and worse. And my friend's son was five years old, and he developed Bell's palsy, so his face went numb, and then finally they realized it was a tick bite. And finally they realized he had Lyme disease so they gave him antibiotics and he recovered.

My friend was fucked up for at least a year. He had lost a shit ton of weight. He got real skinny. I mean it really wrecked him. Lyme disease is rough. That sucks. And it's everywhere.

There are so many ticks that have Lyme. It's all over the place on the East Coast. I feel like that's not something in the Bronx. I don't know if it's in the Bronx. There's not a lot of grass in the Bronx. No, but if there's deer, if there's deer, there's ticks.

Yeah. Anywhere there's deer. If you see deer and a lot of other animals, there's ticks. Any place where there's ticks, you might have Lyme. If there's deer in the Bronx, they're lost. There's a story about a deer that was in Locust Point, and they were like, this does not belong here. Yeah, they fucked up.

Yeah. That's XO. You guys have coyotes, though. You mean people? No. Actually, coyotes in the Bronx. Where? They've photographed coyotes in the Bronx. Where? Like Van Coller Park or something? In abandoned houses and shit.

It's crazy. I wonder where they're coming from. They're all over the world now. Or all the country, rather. They're in every single state. I have never seen a coyote in the Bronx. Coyote spotted in the Bronx. Look at that.

Where in the Bronx? Oh, Riverdale's not really the Bronx, though. Right there. Yeah, but that's Riverdale. What's Riverdale? It's like Bronx light. That's what people call it. Well, guess what? Just because though. Right there. Yeah, but that's Riverdale. What's Riverdale? It's like Bronx Light. That's what people call it. Well, guess what?

Just because you saw him there, he's on a street. He doesn't know he's in Bronx Light. He doesn't know that. He thinks he's in the Bronx. But he's not. He's looking for- He's in Bronx Light. Some place where someone threw out pizza. Okay.

We're aware of that. Over the last several decades, coyotes have been expanding their natural range in response to ample food and open habitat, the Parks Department said in a statement. Coyotes are living within the city limits. We're aware of coyotes living in the Bronx, Queens, and Manhattan. Fuck. Yeah. How about that?

Might have to kill a coyote. If you kill them, they just make more babies. That's why they're here. That's literally why they're here. When you kill coyotes, the female coyotes know that one of them is missing, so they make more pups. I mean, you don't think someone knows. You think they know this one's in the Bronx by itself? I don't think it's by itself.

You think it's with other people. 100%. With other coyotes. 100%. They're pack animals. They're also cute, too. They're adorable. Until they're jumping over a fence with your chicken in their mouth.

Fuck. If I had to, I would kill it. Oh, yeah. To save my dog. For sure you would. You'd have to. It is really cute. It looks like a dog. Well, if you had to, I would kill it. Oh, yeah. To save my dog. For sure you would. You'd have to. It is really cute. It looks like a dog.

Well, if you live here, you can carry a gun. A coyote runs up on you, blast him. The coyotes out here, they don't even yell. I went to a gun range, and I was like,

oh, I love this. I would love a gun. But I think I would, I couldn't have it in the Bronx. No. It's not legal, unfortunately. That's not why.

I think I would just, anytime someone did something, Bronx No It's not legal Unfortunately That's not why I think I would just Anytime someone did something I would just You would shoot people Yeah I have very bad road rage I think it's just from Living in New York City My whole life and driving

Yeah Yeah It's not good Maybe you should move to Connecticut No fucking way Have a nice rural life I have to be rich To live there

Would you live in one of those houses? One of them great Gatsby houses? I don't want a big house like that. Those houses are crazy. Yeah, I don't need something extravagant like that. Show me some of them crazy. What is it? What's that one town?

Well, it's the Gilded Age, but... What is that one town? I want to live in Westchester. Westchester is nice. It's still pretty close to Manhattan. That's nice. Yeah, I don't know. That's like an estate.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Succession type shit. Yeah, that's awesome. Look at that house. Where is that? That's insane. That's nice. Yeah, I don't know. That's like an estate. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Succession type shit. Yeah, that's awesome. Look at that house. Where is that? That's insane. That's Connecticut. Those people are fucking kids.

These people are wild. Yeah, that's insane. Who the fuck owns that? That's wild money. Look at that one in Eureka, California. Holy fuck. It's cool, though. Where's Eureka?

I don't know where. I feel like it's in Orange County. That's where they found gold, I guarantee you. Eureka. I feel like it's in Orange County. That's where they found gold, I guarantee you. Eureka. That's in New York. Westbury. Wow, look at that beautiful house. 200 acres.

Who wants that? Me. Yeah, I don't. I've lived in like a one. Want a helicopter landing pad? That's actually cool. I want to see the ones in Connecticut, though. Can you see like mansions?

There's like one area of Connecticut where my friend that I was talking about earlier, he actually works at a school there. He lives in Connecticut. And he said all these people are billionaires. They all have these preposterous houses. I mean, that's so much of a house to keep up with. It definitely is. I guess you're rich, though, so you're not keeping up with it. There's not a website that details them.

Because they're pretty famous for being extravagant. And they're also, everyone's keeping up with the Joneses. So there's the guy who's the CEO of Biotech down the road. He's got a bigger house. We're going to expand our pool. And so they're all going ham. You've got to do something with that hedge fund money. Yeah, I guess.

I don't know if I'd do that What would you do? I don't know Am I still doing comedy? Yeah You're not gonna stop doing comedy I don't know I would like

I honestly love animals I would love to have like A sanctuary for like animals Yeah Not all animals obviously I should have brought Marshall I didn't know You should have brought Marshall

I didn't know you were such an animal lover You'd want to steal him. I know. He's really cute. Are you saying that aren't you guys going to bring your dogs to go play? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Me and him.

Yeah. His dog, Bandit, she's awesome. Or he's awesome. He calls it a girl sometimes, but I think it's a boy. No, I think it's a girl. Is it? I'm pretty sure it's a girl. He calls it a boy sometimes, too, though.

You know. Yeah. It's a girl, though. He makes out with it. Yeah. He's making out with my dog. I took my dog here also. Yeah, that is weird. He could die.

Ari would be okay with that. I think Ari feels like he lives his life to the fullest, and if he died at any point, he'd be like, okay. I better be shitting his pants the last few hours. Like if he was on that submarine? Yeah. Those people finally died, I think. Well, we pants the last few hours. Like if he was on that submarine? Yeah. Those people finally died, I think. Well, we're not going to know.

What they said is that if they made it all the way to the bottom, unfortunately the bottom is just mud, undulating mud, and they might have just sunk right into it. That's crazy. It's horrific. When you hear that they've had moments in the past where they lost contact for hours with with other subs and they're still doing it the same way like that that whole thing is so insane that sub can't

pilot itself there's no line attached to it it just goes down to remote control that's controlling the boat has to be above it for it to work. What's interesting to me is, like, these people went down there to go see the Titanic. If you told me I could watch that on TV, I still wouldn't want to watch it. Like, I can't imagine doing that. Brian Simpson pointed this out yesterday. This is what's even more insane. They're not even seeing it through, like, a big window.

Oh, right. You were saying that. They're seeing it through screens. There's cameras on the outside of it. And as they were saying that. They're seeing it through screens. There's cameras on the outside of it and as they pilot it around, they're seeing it on screens. There's like one small window. What is the point?

People like to do dangerous shit to say they did dangerous shit. They want to experience things. They want to go to the bottom of the ocean and see the Titanic. I know, but like, there's a billionaire, but who are the other people that were with him?

Well, one of them was one of the guy's son. Right. He was a 19-year-old son. Yeah. Fucking Jesus Christ. That's crazy. Jesus Christ. It's so scary.

What a scary way to die. I know, and it's like, it's your own fault. Yeah. That's the other thing. Yeah, you chose to do that. And not only that, there was a small window of time where they could do it Because the weather was really bad Oh Fuck

But didn't they also make it themselves? No this company has sent I think was it 100 voyages? They've done 100 voyages No but I'm saying the actual submarine Didn't they like make this Yeah Weren't people saying they got it like stuff at Home Depot? Well, there's a company that built it.

And the company, apparently, there was a whistleblower who had complained that the hull was not really established to be able to tolerate the amount of pressure that they were putting it under by several thousand feet. the amount of pressure that they were putting it under, by several thousand feet. A remote-operated vehicle found five major pieces of debris from the submersible, about 16,000 feet from the bow of the Titanic, the Coast Guard said. Oh, they're dead. The debris is consistent with the catastrophic loss of the pressure chamber, Coast Guard Rear Admiral John Mauger said. He said it's not yet clear when the implosion took place. The family of those on board were immediately notified about the discovery.

We're now believing that our CEO, Stockton Rush, Shazda Dawood and his son, Sulaiman Dawood, Hamish Harding, and Paul Henry Nahr-Galalt have sadly been lost, the Titan sub-operator Ocean Gate said in a statement. These men were true explorers who shared a distinct spirit of adventure and a deep passion for exploring and protecting the world's oceans. Our hearts are with those five souls and every member of their families during this tragic time. We grieve the loss of life and the joy they brought to everyone they knew.

Fuck. Fuck. It says they're unclear now they knew. Fuck. Fuck. It says they're unclear now if the victims can be recovered. I don't think people even understand the scope of what you're searching for. Like the amount of area you're talking about. Yeah. And then I wonder if you also put more people in danger if you go looking for them. Yeah, you do.

You do. danger if you go looking yeah you do you do i mean this is if that whistleblower was correct and it imploded because it wasn't really set up to tolerate the depths that they were putting it under i mean that is insane that's insane and it's so scary so scary that people would do that so scary that like there was they fired the guy who was the whistleblower. And apparently there was a bunch of other people that complained as well. Interesting. Yeah, no, it was a serious thing. What was the, pull up that article again that we looked at.

It was, it's not like everyone was like, we all agree this is safe. There was quite a few people that were like, this is not safe. This is not the way to do it. And they had said that they were cleared by one certain body of some group that was examining them,

but they hadn't been cleared by them. I don't know. If somebody proposed that to you, wouldn't you be like, absolutely not? Fuck that. Fuck that. A whistleblower

raised safety concerns about Ocean Gate Subersible in 2018. Then he was fired. Original carbon fiber hull wasn't rated for Titanic depths, claimed the operations director. It is interesting to go look for the Titanic and then you also have the same fate as the people on the Titanic. The worst fate. Yeah. Yeah, because you actually knew what you were doing.

You're actually going to the bottom in a submarine. They were on something they thought was going to float. They were going to, like, drink tea and, like, look out at the icebergs and shit. Well, also, a lot of the rich people, I think, made it off the Titanic. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently, the company had plans to make 3D scans of it which that's the first time I've heard of that

I don't know if that's what they were doing there but that's what the company's goal was at some point make 3D scans of the Titanic yeah

oh wow so they could recreate it somewhere yeah the exact VR computer oh wow

fuck what is honestly the purpose of doing that? People have to do things. They'll have to do difficult shit. I know, but it's like do something else. I know. I know, but you can't tell people that. That's true.

Like, you know, you can't tell people, hey, stop climbing Everest. Stop. That's true. But at least you're doing that by yourself. You kind of know the risks. I don't know. I mean, this also seems crazy. If somebody was like, would you want to do this?

I'd say no. Yeah, of course. But, you know, what makes people skydive? What makes people ride bulls? Thrill seekers. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

I guess I would, if I was into doing those things, I know right away I'm going to probably, like, I know exactly what could happen, but something like that where someone's like, hey, this is totally safe. We're all going to be together. I don't know. I just. You fuck that.

Yeah. Yeah, it's not totally safe. There's no way it's totally safe. Hey, Jamie, have you seen that bowl that they call God Mode? Somebody sent me this video of there's this bull that they paid $25 million for because it's so insane when they try to ride it. When you see what this bull does to the guy who's riding it, I didn't know a bull could do that. I didn't know a bull could move that way. Look at this bull.

The bull's name is Godmode. Watch how high the bull gets in the air. It's insane. But, like, you have to know if you do this, you might die. A hundred percent. But look at this guy trying to hang on to this bull. Look at the height this bull's reaching. I mean, that bull's flying.

That's crazy. Look at that bull fly. I mean, that's the Michael Jordan of bulls. Yeah. Look at the height it's crazy. Look at that bull fly. That's the Michael Jordan of bulls. Yeah. Look at the height it's getting. That thing's six feet in the air, seven feet in the air. He is cute. He's adorable.

It looks like he's going back. He's just jumping. I saw a video, not this, but there's, I don't know, 20 girls standing in a bull ring, and they just let a bull go? Yes. And a couple of them got jacked? Yeah, of course. What is wrong with these? I don't even take the subway in Manhattan.

Why would I ever do anything like this? This bull is still jumping and no one's on him anymore. What are you going to do? You ain't doing shit. You ain't doing shit. But just the fact that the bull keeps jumping like that even after no one's on him.

Get the fuck off me. That's why he's God mode. Yeah. But people want to ride that thing. There's someone out there going, fuck it, I'm going to ride God mode. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Not you, huh?

No. Why would I do that? There's a song by Zach Bryan. It's a great song called Open the Gates. And it's about a guy who died riding a bull. and his son goes and rides the same bull and dies. I mean, it's like, what do you think is going to happen? It's a great song. The song sounds great, but I mean, come on.

Yeah. What is going to happen? This sounds like some TikTok stuff. We saw it go crazy, but I can't find anything else online that says that a bull was sold for $25 million. Name God. Well, that could be hot. Poor shit. But whatever that bull can do is like, Jesus Christ.

Those guys, that's a rough life. That's a rough life, bull riding. That is, for me, below getting sex traffic. I'm like, send me in a container somewhere. I don't trust this bull. It's so weird what people choose to do with their life. Yeah, I mean, I guess, too, if you're a real thrill seeker and you keep doing bigger and bigger things, it must be the same way like you get endorphins from it.

I don't know. Yeah, 100%. There's also like the culture of it, I guess. Like, who's the biggest risk taker? Yeah, I guess. Right. Bobby's going to do it. He's fucking crazy.

That's right, boys. But that guy might even be scared. He's like, I got to fucking do this now. Because everyone is like. Come on. It's fake? Well, not fake, because obviously we saw the video. But the most expensive bull sold is 1.5 million.

Aha. In 2020. That one doesn't look like it could jump at all. But is that a breeding bull sold is $1.5 million in 2020. That one doesn't look like it could jump at all. But is that a breeding bull or is that a riding bull? Even still, a riding bull would be less valuable than a breeding bull, wouldn't it? Because you're just riding it for a couple weeks and then you have to sell so many tickets to get the money back. Well, I would imagine that riding bulls don't get hurt very often. They only work six seconds at a time?

Right, but I bet they can do that anytime they want. Like if you just see them a couple days off, I bet the riding bulls get right back after it. I don't think the riding bulls are worried about that little puny person riding its back. Why is it worth $25 million? Because it's so preposterous that everybody's going to want to

see God mode and everyone's going to see God mode's children. That's what they do with those things. I know, but that's what they do with those things. Those riding bulls, when they're really dangerous, they breed them. Just like they do with dogs. They breed the most dangerous ones with

the most dangerous ones. It makes them the most wildest, bucking, insane psycho bull because that's what everybody wants to see you ride. I just don't think they're worth that much. Oh, I believe you. Yeah, I'm sure it's some deduction. This is a dumb question.

How do you determine which bulls are going to be, like, riding bulls like that, and which ones are just going to be, like, beef bulls? That's a good question. I wonder if it's a specific type of bull. Does he just act crazy at birth, and they're like, that's the bull? Right. Like, how do you know? We made people ride bulls on

fear factor and it was one of two times in the history of the show where i was trying to tell the producers don't do it yeah it sounds like a bad idea i was like don't do it don't do it and they're like they said it's a stunt bull that's the the the fucking stunt guys can say he's a stunt bull i go that bull does not know he's a stunt bull no that that's a fucking bull they're like hey tone it down for this and the bulls's trying to get out of the cage before the people got on it. And I was like, no way. Don't do it. Yeah.

Because you could get stomped. You 100% could get kicked in the face. And it'll change your life. Don't do that. Wouldn't that also be a huge lawsuit for a fear factor? 100%. And they just don't care. They rolled the dice.

They rolled the dice. I guess, yeah. Yeah. That's what they did. The other time I told them not to do it, the people had to drink cum. But at least that you're not going to die from. I mean, it's gross. You can't die from too much cum, can you?

I don't know. I mean, you could definitely die if a bull steps on you, though. Yes. Yeah, you wouldn't die. Did they do that episode of drinking cum? They did. How much cum? A lot.

Like a beer stein full of cum. More. Like that? Donkey cum. So someone's just jerking these donkeys off? You know why donkey cum? Why? Because donkeys don't breed.

Because donkey cum's not good for anything. Because donkeys are a hybrid of a mule and a horse. So this is people that drink donkey piss and donkey cum. I'm going to throw up right now. That's what I'm saying. That's crazy. Do these people have to keep it down? Yeah.

No, they throw it up eventually. After they swallowed it, then they were allowed to throw up. So somebody for this show had to jerk off donkeys. They actually stick a cattle prod up their asshole and they shoot like a fire hose. Ah. Well, at least someone doesn't have to jerk them off. That would be a shitty job. Yeah, they do something where they stick it up his asshole

and just, yikes. Yeah. Ugh. I know. That's gross. It's gross. I got to be honest, though. Was it mixed with water?

It seemed very liquidy. It was thick. It seemed liquidy. I thought it would be more like a milkshake consistency. Yeah, these guys are chucking. So someone got a hold of the footage, like TMZ or something like that, and then NBC

pulled the episode from America. But they didn't pull it overseas. So I think it aired in Holland or somewhere like that. Find out where it aired. I mean, on the Fear Factor YouTube channel, that's where it is. Oh yeah,

you can definitely get it on YouTube. Yeah. So that was a kill the show. Then they're like, that's a wrap. So they canceled that episode. That was the end of the show? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They canceled that episode. They never aired that episode and then they canceled the show. That's so crazy. Over donkey cum. Isn't that nuts? It was awesome. It was perfect. It was perfect.

It was perfect. Oh, gross. Perfect way to end. Yeah. And nobody saw it except Ben Holland. A lot of people saw it on YouTube, though. I didn't even know that existed. We've talked about it a gang of times.

Oh, okay. So more people ever saw it than they would have seen it if it was on TV. For sure. I don't know. Is it worse to be the person That like drank All that cum And then it didn't air No it's probably better But it did air

But didn't you say It aired only in Holland Yeah but it airs on YouTube Oh yeah I'm trying to find out Drinking cum on YouTube Is You're gonna get some hits

You're gonna get some views Imagine you're on a job interview And they're like Did you drink That donkey cum Were you one of the twins Cause it was twins And you're like No that's my sister My cum? Were you one of the twins? Because it was twins. And you're like,

no, that's my sister. My sister did it. So one had to drink piss, the other one had to drink cum. What would you drink? Piss. Cum is chunky. Yeah, it's a lot.

A lot of protein. I would imagine it would affect your, just everything in there. Piss is just dirty water. If you're drinking water, you're drinking dinosaur piss. I love it. Do you know that?

All water on Earth at one point in time, if you just think statistically, the hundreds of millions of years the dinosaurs were around, all that water at some point in time was filtered out of a dinosaur's dick. That sounds insane and not true. I think it's true. I don't think that's true. Let's see. I don't think that's true let's see okay all water is your work computer just yeah well how would you phrase that every glass of water you drink originally was in dinosaur urine. Dinosaurs drink the same water as us. Or originally was dinosaur urine.

I want it to be urine. I want it to be real specific. All the water you drink came from dinosaur urine. Just be ridiculous. Well, the way I asked it, or someone did ask the question you're asking, right? You are drinking dinosaur pee every day. Here's why. Ooh.

Yeah, there you go. Yeah, you are drinking dinosaur pee every day. Here's why. From Tech Times. The average American drinks four cups of water every day, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture. This is far short of the recommended eight glasses, blah, blah, blah. every day according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture. This is far short of the recommended eight glasses, blah, blah, blah.

Whether it's tap, filtered, bottled, sparkling, or sourced from the Himalayan glaciers and sparkled with gold dust, you are actually drinking the liquid waste of an ancient beast, says a science-centric YouTube channel, Curious Minds. A video explaining this theory says that every small percentage of all the water in the world is available for drinking purposes, but it's still a huge amount of water to provide for the needs of every human being that's ever walked on the surface of the earth for the last 200,000 years. Every year, around 121,000 cubic miles of water, about the equivalent

of 42 Lake Superiors, falls down on earth, constantly flows through the rivers, lakes, ground, reservoirs, and everywhere else it passes through, including inside the guts of people and the animals that drink it. So what do dinosaurs have to do with all this? Unlike humans who have been on Earth for a tiny fraction of the 186 million years that dinosaurs ruled the planet, the beasts were here far longer than we have ever been. In that long span of time, it's very likely that the dinosaurs have drunk all the water available back then. And then all the water available now is simply water that has passed

through a dinosaur's kidneys, making its way through the never ending water cycle. That's crazy that dinosaurs were around for 186 million years. If you told me they were around for a hundred years, I would have believed it. I know nothing about dinosaurs. Yeah. They were around forever. If it wasn't for that rock, they'd still be around. That's crazy. Yeah. And now he gets to drink their piss. That's what's interesting

about life on other planets. Like, if something like the dinosaurs does exist, it takes something like the Yucatan impact to kill them. And then the little scrambly little rodents and shit

eventually evolve to become humans. But if that doesn't happen, forever and ever and ever, it's just dinosaurs fucking fucking things up and no one ever builds a house no one ever gets a tesla just pissing yeah every time you go outside raptors tear you apart there's you live in like tiny caves and they try to find you in there and they drag your kids out yeah they send a little raptor in there and they grab your kid by the feet. You crawl into little tunnels and holes as they nip at you and try to claw away at the rocks to

get to you. You never develop tools. Yeah. You never develop anything. You barely stay alive. You probably go extinct. Somehow that submarine thing sounds less worse than that. Yeah, probably. Being torn apart by a raptor. If you lived in that era, I think everything ate everything. Probably. And the only way you didn't get eaten if you were like a stegosaurus where you're just covered in armor just to keep things from eating you.

I mean, imagine what kind of fucking hard life you have to be living in to develop the kind of skin a stegosaurus has. Just armor everywhere you are. Like a triceratops, everywhere you're armor. Just to keep you from getting consumed. That's crazy. Yeah.

So, that's the bright side of the impact. I'm drinking dinosaur piss. Yeah, we're drinking dinosaur piss, and that's the bright side of apocalypse caused by an asteroid impact. It's not that bad. It's pretty good. It's way better than dinosaurs still being around.

And it's way better than Donkey Kong. Yes. Not that I know, but I assume this is better. My coffee is dinosaur piss. Yeah? Yeah. Mixed with other crap. No, just coffee.

You don't put anything in it? Like no milk or anything? No, it's just black. Black coffee's tough. I like to put anything in it, like no milk or anything? No, it's just black. Black coffee is tough. I like to put something in it so it's not as sour. I started getting into it when I became friends with my friend Evan Hafer, who runs Black Rifle Coffee. It's like his company. Oh, okay.

A guy I had on a podcast a long time ago that was actually a coffee expert. What was that gentleman's name again? Giuliano.uliano right yeah peter giuliano very interesting guy but he's like a legitimate coffee expert and i always wanted to i was i was like i like talking to people that just know a lot about one thing sure like it's weird like how much this guy knows about coffee and he brought a bunch of different coffees to sample and there's this these Ethiopian coffees that tasted almost like they were lemony. And you're drinking them all black, everything black. He's like, real coffee drinkers drink coffee black. And so then my friend Evan, who runs Black Rifle Coffee, he's a real coffee nut.

He literally goes to these places where they grow it and samples the beans. And they have different kinds of roasts and blends and amazing stuff and he drinks everything black and i just started drinking it black it's like i think it's an acquired taste i've done it before like drink drink it black with nothing in it like if i'm in a hotel and they don't have anything but i don't know if the coffee is good quality then you can yeah for me anyway but if it's like crappy yeah if they fuck. But if it's like crappy. Yeah. If they fuck it up. If they don't know what they're doing, they fuck it up. But even if I go to a diner, I just drink black coffee. Yeah.

I like it. I don't know. Maybe I'll get there one day. It's just the thing where like I know it doesn't taste good, but it tastes good to me. Like I like that sort of bitter, warm, liquid taste. I like it. I like tea with nothing in it. I do too.

Yeah. But coffee is real bitter. But tea with nothing in it. I do too. Yeah, but coffee is real bitter. But tea with honey is better, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. But I don't mind that plain as opposed to coffee is like not great. Yeah. Well, I try to avoid sugar as much as possible. And I feel like when I put, even if I put like sweet and low or stevia in something,

it makes me want more sweet things. Oh, yeah. I get that. Because I like sweet stuff. or stevia in something, it makes me want more sweet things. Oh, yeah. I get that. Because I like sweet stuff. Of course. Just avoid it whenever I can. Definitely.

That's why I try and cut sugar out because I'm addicted to it. Everybody is. I think it's like some people aren't, though. It's like people that could have one or two drinks. I think certain people process everything differently. I don't know. Yeah, for sure. But sugar's in so many things. You don't realize how much you love it live off of it yes yeah but like some people

could have one cupcake you know what i mean and then some people are like i need to chase that sugar yeah have you you said that you have how many people in your you have many people in your family that have had addictive personalities or addiction issues addiction issues yeah for sure drugs and drugs gambling drinking yeah food just like everything yeah also i think when your life isn't that great you look for an escape so absolutely you know are you worried that as your life gets greater and greater that you'll have less things to be upset about no i think i you'll have less things to be upset about? No, I think I have quite a few things to be upset about. I think I'll never run out of stuff.

I asked my therapist if he thought I'd ever be cured and he laughed at me. He goes, no. Whoa. He's like, absolutely not. Maybe he just wants to keep you there. Maybe, but he's not making that much off of me. I think he'd rather me be in a good place over getting a little bit of money I give him mmm but he's funny he's really a funny person like because I did think I had a good

childhood and then like I started going to him he's like you had a terrible childhood like I literally said to him I was like I thought a good childhood because nobody molested me as a kid and he was like no he's like He's like, actually, if somebody did, they would have been showing you attention. He was like, it would have been better. Like, he was joking, though. Right. But I was like, I see what he's saying. Like, yeah, me and my sister were just ignored.

Yeah. But I don't know. I think I'll always have stuff to be upset about. Stand-up comedy is such an interesting thing because everybody came from, like, a place of lacking. Right. But everybody's thing, like, everything like a place of lacking. Right. But everybody's thing, like everything that got them to that

is different. But the result is the same with all. It's all just like, how do I figure out how to get these fucked up ideas into people's heads

and elicit a response? Sure. But a lot of comics, you know, have a lot of mental illness. Yeah. Fucked up childhoods. Sure.

You know, you're pulling like, I feel like my family was always very funny because we were always struggling financially and just with different stuff. You just kind of always are funny and joking around. That's what I think. Wouldn't you rather prefer fucked up people that joke around a lot to stuffy people in Connecticut? I mean, it would have been nice if like we had money. Like I think I would have preferred having like some financial stability. Yeah. In terms of just having like laughs.

Yeah. I mean, maybe not now because I do stand up. But like, yeah, when you're younger. I mean, I also didn't realize how rich people were, too, until I went to college and seen, like, people have lots of money. Like, I didn't really realize that as a kid. Yeah. That's probably good. Maybe.

I think it really fucks people up when they're, like, they're poor and they're around rich people. Yeah. Because it's, like, right there. In the Bronx, there's, like, varying degrees. Like, when I was growing up, there like varying degrees of poor you know like like some of my friends parents did have a house but like you're still in the Bronx it's not like you know Connecticut or right but yeah I didn't slightly doing better poor yeah you're doing a little bit better but as a comic like god damn it like you know comedy is like the best thing to do

it's so much fun and that's the superpower fucked up childhood is the superpower sure i see that but like we also did like things that were like you know on vacation we would go visit my aunt who was dying every year like that was a that was like a vacation from the rest of our awful life. Oh, God. Which is a crazy thing to do as a vacation. Yeah. That sucks. Yeah, but as a kid, I didn't realize it sucked. I realize it sucks now. You didn't realize it until you started doing therapy?

No, I realized it once I got older and realized we should not be in a house where someone's dying in the living room. Well, there was her and then another aunt. But, yeah, this is not great. We were going to Crescent, Pennsylvania. That's, like, the worst. So is doing stand-up, is that the most joy you've ever experienced? Sometimes. Sometimes not. When it doesn't go well?

I don't know. I think that if I had a lot of money, I might just work with animals. Like, I really love animals. Really? Yeah. You'd quit doing stand-up? I don't think I'd quit doing stand-up. I think I'd always do it. But I do love, like, helping animals and, like, even people, too.

You know? Like, I make a lot of dark jokes, but, like, I think everyone just thinks I'm an awful person. I'm like, well, these are just jokes, though. Yeah. But, yeah, I would love to work with animals. Like, re-home animals. Like take, you know,

ones in that you can't. Why don't you partner up with Whitney? Do you know Whitney? Not really. I mean like we follow each other on Instagram. She's awesome. You would love her. She's so crazy.

I mean I follow her account. She had, you know, that one dog that looked like an alien. What was the dog's name? I don't remember. Dragon or something. Violet.

I think it's Violet. But yeah, so like I would love to do that i wish that stand-up would i get to a place where i could uh be afforded a situation like that to like help animals and yeah she's always fostering dogs she has a horse yeah yeah i would like it if she fostered me she'll take in she took people in during the pandemic she turned her house into like a flop house. Yeah, I saw that. Yeah, she's awesome. She had outdoor shows at her house during the pandemic.

They were doing them in New York too. Really? Yeah. In people's yards and stuff? Like Central Park, they did some shows. I did shows on roofs. Like it was just people getting real creative. When did you get back into an indoor club again?

What was the first time? How many months out? I don't know. I was doing it about six months after like outside. And then I think I waited to get vaccinated to do it inside. Like the first vaccine maybe. Did you have to get vaccinated? You had to be in those clubs too, right?

Yeah. And I think you had to get – I had to get vaccinated to definitely go to Europe when I went on that tour with Louie. So we definitely needed, I think, three at that point. You had to have a booster to go over there too? Yeah. You had to have three. And I think the clubs you might have only needed two, but I'm not sure. God.

There were some comics that refused to get vaccinated too. Yeah. There was a couple of them. But I was like, I mean, when I took the vaccine, I was like, I'm not 100% confident in this. But I was like, mean when i took the vaccine i was like i'm not 100 confident in this but i was like but like whatever i do want to work yeah i was like what am i gonna do well a lot of people did that they made that choice because they wanted to work and it was yeah very clear that it was going to stop you from working especially in some jobs you know a lot of people were forced into it and it worked out good. What did you, did you get vaccinated?

No. I got, which one did I get? Not the Johnson and Johnson. That seemed like the worst one. Where it was like one vaccine and you're like, why is this one vaccine? Yeah. And it's like 65% protection, but it's all of it was shenanigans. If you really study the actual paperwork on what the studies actually showed

versus what they were saying it showed it didn't stop transmission it didn't one person in the fucking vaccine group died of covid i guess my thing is like so does it work like because we have antibodies now like how does that work it works initially it works initially and it like for a lot of vulnerable people it probably was a good idea to get vaccinated. Old people, fat people, people that were that had various diseases. Yeah. The problem is it didn't last for very long. Didn't last for nearly as long as they wanted. And then you get your second shot and that didn't last. And now, unfortunately, what they're finding is through this latest study with the

cleveland clinic they showed that with their health care workers the more vaccines they got the more they got covid interesting yeah well there's a lot of weird things that happen with your immune system when i get very sick from the vaccines how bad like there i think i don't remember which one fucked me up the worst but like there was a time where i was like home for two three days where i was like oh oh, I'm really sick. I had fever. I was really sick. And then I got COVID and I was really sick from it. But I was I feel like I wouldn't get any more. I won't get any more boosters. I know people are like, I'm on five. I'm like, great. That's good for you.

You know, some people it's fine. Some people I mean, it's like any other medication. Some people they take that medication. They don't have any problems with it. And then other people take it and they get wrecked by it. And that's the problem with making something mandatory, where some people are going to get wrecked by it. Like really bad vaccine injuries. Those are real. We all know about them now. We've all seen people dropped out of heart attacks that shouldn't be. And then there's people that it might have saved their lives. It's like that's an uncomfortable like sort of conversation that people that are against it have to have and people that are pro it have to have. Well, you have to look at the actual data of what really did happen. And particularly for like non-vulnerable people like children, it was not a good idea. Yeah, I guess I just didn't understand. Like say you didn't want to get vaccinated and somebody is vaccinated, then why does that matter? Exactly.

Because it didn't, well. I mean also there's a huge money to be made off the vaccines. But there was also people wanted you to do what they did. I did the right thing. You should do the right thing. You're selfish. You're not doing it. I mean I guess I've heard that too. It was like the one time in our lives we weren't allowed to be skeptical about pharmaceutical

companies. Right, we're skeptical over everything else that they produce. We should be. Sure. They have a long history of criminal fines. Yes. They've been fined fucking insane amounts of money for lying about drugs that wound up costing people their lives.

Who was that? Was it Dope Dope? Dope Sick? Dope sick, yeah. Yeah, I didn't say it, but I know the whole story about the Sackler family. Yeah. I mean, you look at something like that, and you're like, yeah, we should be questioning it.

They just paid their way out of it. They paid their way out of it. They gave like $6 billion. No, they can't be prosecuted. And they priced off so much money. Oh, God. That's crazy. Billions and billions and billions of dollars.

$6 billion and still be a billionaire. Yeah, yeah. Easy. They did that with, there was another medication that they did, Vioxx, that wound up giving people, it gave a friend of mine a stroke, but it gave like, it killed 60,000, 50,000 people. What is that for? It was an anti-inflammatory medication.

It didn't even work well and They knew it in their their internal emails. They said there's gonna be problems, but we think we'll do very well with this So they knew that it was gonna cause cardiovascular issues with people they knew was gonna cause blood issues with people and strokes and shit and they still Still released it and they got fined but they got fined less than they made yeah so i think they made that's crazy 12 billion and they got fined like five or something so right you're like i still have the surplus of billions something like that don't quote me on that those numbers but it's something the point where like i could see you made money on this you still made

money this is like yeah and it didn't work. It wasn't a good. It was like there was other available things that worked better. It's just a spooky thing that they can do that. It's spooky. And that people just go along with it. Well, Johnson & Johnson has that lawsuit against their powder. Yeah. Because it has, I guess, talc and maybe some other stuff.

And women, I guess, are putting it in their private areas, getting cancer. So they have a big lawsuit for that. Yeah, what is in it that's giving people cancer? I don't know. Is it just talc? Because I know talc is not great for you. It's like a mineral, right? What is talc?

I guess. I don't know. But I just know, like, I used to use Johnson & Johnson powder all the time. And I was like, oh, that's like something you would never even think of. Yeah. What caused people to get cancer from that the johnson johnson vaccine was the one i was going to take that's the one bridget got i think the ufc had allocated like 150 vaccines for their employees and we were doing shows during the pandemic they had this total bubble situation where you got tested.

Okay, what does it say? When talcum powder is linked to cancer, it's important to distinguish between talc that contains asbestos and the talc that's asbestos-free. Talc that has asbestos is generally accepted as being able to cause cancer if it's inhaled. So just go to the lawsuit, Johnson & Johnson cancer lawsuit, baby powder. Because it was something with women, right? Yeah. Okay, what does it say? Okay. So there's some sort of J&J lawsuit?

Settlement? Okay. Johnson & Johnson said on Tuesday that it had agreed to pay $8.9 billion to tens of thousands of people who claim the company's talcum powder products cause cancer. A proposal that lawyers for the plaintiffs called a significant victory in a legal fight that has lasted more than a decade. Wow. So are they still using the same talc, though? That's a good question. Maybe they're just telling people, don't put it on your hoo-ha.

But didn't it say just breathing it in is bad? Yeah, the one with asbestos. So I'm trying to figure out why does this have asbestos? The proposed settlement would be paid out over 25 years through a subsidiary which filed bankruptcy to enable the $8.9 billion trust, Johnson & Johnson said in court filings. If a bankruptcy court approves it, the agreement will resolve all current and future claims involving Johnson & Johnson products that contain talc, such as baby powder, the company said. So how is talc? It's ovarian cancer. Yeah. Okay.

Significant victory for the tens of thousands of women suffering from gynecological cancers caused by the J&J's talc-based products. But what is in it that's causing cancer? And mesothelioma. I've seen that on commercials. Ovarian cancer and mesothelioma. You saw it on what? On TV commercials my whole life.

Yeah. Do you suffer from mesothelioma? Yeah. I'm calling your number now. I wonder if it goes right to Johnson Johnson The one thing I was gonna ask I was reading about the appeal for the Sackler thing Mm-hmm five to six million they have to give up billion billion. I'm sorry 750 million is paid out to the individuals. Oh

The other five billion. Oh god fuck is that well, it's a fine. It goes to the government. Oh, okay. That's good. Listen, we have to deal with our homeless crisis. No one's going to ever get it. Trans kids don't have homes. That's an issue right now? Oh, I guess. Yeah, maybe.

I'm sure. They didn't say what caused the cancer. They're taking all the dogs and all the trans kids. For the talk, it says only two billion of $8.9 goes to the plaintiffs. So what is it that causes cancer, though? What's it in the talc that's causing cancer? I guess asbestos is in it. I guess the asbestos is in it.

How is anybody selling anything with asbestos to them? Well, they probably took it out of paint and were like, let's get rid of it this way. Imagine if that's what they did. No. Who knows? I mean, I think the government's pretty corrupt. Well, there's definitely some corrupt people in the government.

Without a doubt. And there's definitely a bunch of people that run these corporations and try to figure out how to make money with stuff they have laying around. Sure. There's a New York Times article. I don't see a date, but it says that they've known about it for 129 years. It says, Johnson & Johnson feared baby powder's possible asbestos link

for years. So there is asbestos in it? What? It says in 1971 they were recommended to upgrade the quality control. Oh, my God. Look at this. An executive at Johnson & Johnson said the main ingredient in its best-selling baby powder could potentially be contaminated by asbestos, the dangerous mineral that causes cancer. He recommended to senior staff in 1971 the company upgrade its quality control of talc.

Two years later, another executive raised a red flag, saying the company should no longer assume that its talc mines were asbestos-free. The powder, he said, sometimes contains materials that might be classified as asbestos fiber. The carcinogen, which often appears underground near talc, has been a concern inside the company for decades. In hundreds of pages of memos, executives worried about a potential government ban of talc,

the safety of the product, and a public backlash over Johnson's Baby Powder, a brand built on a reputation for trustworthiness and health. And it had asbestos in it. That's what it is. They took it out of the paint. I don't think so. I think they're saying it's in the same mines as the talc. But they were like, let's just keep... They just didn't clean it up. We'll just get it from the same mines.

They're cutting it just like the Mexican cartels cut the coke with the fentanyl. Yeah. They're cutting it with talc. Like if you have like a bunch of asbestos and you got a little talc that's worth 10 bucks a pound, you just cut it in there. Yeah, I would be surprised that's not in there. Yeah. Isn't fentanyl expensive? Why are they mixing stuff with fentanyl it's very cheap and it's also um really potent so you need

a very very small amount of fentanyl well fuck you up but i'm sure it's not consistent they're not you know they're not really good at like quality control. And also I think sometimes they leak fentanyl, laced cocaine specifically designed to kill people to target rival gangs. They do it like if one gang is selling Coke and they'll sabotage their supplies so that they kill their, there's a lot of. People will stop buying it from them. Uh-huh. Right.

Yeah. Or they use it to target certain people. Interesting. We learned a lot today, Adrienne. I did learn a lot. I did too. I did too. I learned about dinosaur piss.

Yeah, we're all drinking it. Asbestos. Mm-hmm. Keep it out of your privates. That episode of Fear Factor. Mm-hmm. With cum. We learned a lot about your origins of comedy.

My origins of comedy. Learned about your mom. My mom, yes. You love dogs. Love dogs. Should have brought Marshall. Yes. Next time. My Origins of Comedy. Learned about your mom. My mom, yes. You love dogs. Love dogs. I should have brought Marshall. Yes. Next time.

Next time you do it. We do it again? We'll do it again. Okay. Going to be at the club tonight? Going to be at the club tonight. Let's fucking go. Thank you for having me.

It was fun. It was hilarious. Well, I mean, thank you for letting me film my special there. My pleasure. I'm excited. When Louis texted me,

I was so pumped. Yeah, because we were talking. He was like, where do you think you want to do it? And he was like, I don't know. I'm excited. When Louis texted me, I was so pumped. Yeah, because we were talking. He was like, where do you think you want to do it? And he was like, I don't know. I'm not sure. And then he was like,

what about Austin? I was like, well, I love Austin. He's like, well, what about Joe's Club? I was like, yeah. Yeah, it's a setup to film already, too. Yeah, the audiences are great. Both shows were so fun.

Because they were like, which room do you want to do? I was like, I don't know. I was like, I got to see which one I like, but I like them both. Yeah, they're both different, but really fun. And it's the whole setup is Louie actually helped me quite a bit. Um, he gave me some really good advice when we

were in the middle of construction. He told me to make the stage in the small room, smaller, it was larger. They just designed a stage. Yeah. Yeah. It was perfect. What he designed was perfect. He said, just cut off four feet on each side. And I was like, yeah, we don't need it that big. And so it was really fun because you could kind of walk around in this. Once we had gutted it, you're going, why don't we do this? Why don't we do that? And so Louis came in and I just said, what do you think?

And he was like, make this lower. He's like a good director. He knows how to do all that stuff. I listened to everything he said. Yeah. I took every single piece of advice that he said. Every recommendation I did. Do you like one room over the other?

I love them both. They're different. The little room is really intimate. The little room is like you're partying. You're having a good time with people. They're right there. They're on top of you. It's really fun.

It's also very honest. Like, if you feel performative or clunky, it, like, feels gross in that room. In the little one? Yeah, in the little room. I feel like the little room is freer. Oh, yeah, it is. But, I mean, if you do come off clunky,

it's more obvious. I can see that. Because it's very intimate. That's true. It feels fake. Yeah. You know? It's just a different room. The other room is pretty intimate, too.

The way I describe it is, like, they're both, like, hybrids of the Comedy Store original room and the Belly Room. Yeah. I've never performed there. I've only visited. Yeah. I've only gone there to, like, visit. I've never performed there. Next time I go, I'll bring you.

All right. Let's party. Let's party. Let's go. What I do like about the big room is that it is intimate because everyone does seem pretty close to you even though it's like a pretty big room yeah it's we it's well designed we mean we put a lot of thought into it we raised the floor we had the stage set at the perfect height where it's like right right at table height no not a bad seat in the room we like meticulously went over it for a long time

yeah i think too what i think ari was saying last night is like when you go to some clubs sometimes like the owner shows up and it's just like it changes the vibe yeah it's like that's not here and i'm like yeah you're right it's not like you come around people are like oh put that away or let's stop talking about whatever we're talking about yeah that happens in other clubs for sure right yeah well i don't know there's only a few other clubs that are owned by comics yeah. Well, I don't know. There's only a few other clubs that are owned by comics. Yeah, I guess I'm just thinking

about clubs in maybe Manhattan, you know? Right. But that's the thing. It's like you're dealing with, there's like the owners, the owners tell the managers what to do,

the managers tell the comedians what to do. Right. So there's still bosses. Yeah. Even though you are the boss, you're the owner, it's not like that vibe.

No, the vibe is it's for all of us. It's our place yeah it's very welcoming like i don't know most of the comics like i'm getting to know them but i felt very welcome there if you're funny it's very welcome if you're not funny it's very unwelcoming if you're not funny they're fucking brutal yeah it was just there's a lot of competition for stage time there's a lot of comics there's a lot of young people yeah i could see that you know all the staff like are aspiring comedians

like this door staff and they all auditioned with their actual comedy to get the jobs. To be the door, like to work at the door? Yeah. That's actually pretty good.

Yeah, and they get stage time. So they get to go up and they go up to showcase nights, open mic nights, two nights a week. That's great. Whereas I was interning for free. Yes, you don't have to do that here.

I'm still not getting a spot. But then even more importantly, the Creek in the Cave is right next door. It's right up the street. And then you've got Sunset Room, which is right next door. Sunset, Brian Redband's room, is three doors down. Oh, wow. And the other day we did a show, like last Thursday, we did a show at my club. And then guys were going back and forth.

And Redband's show was sold out too. And then there's the Vulcan, which is also just a half a block down. And they do comedy there too. And then you also have Cap City, which is in the domain. And you have a bunch of little places like the Velveeta Room.

There's a bunch of spots that are all around town and all kinds of mics. Do they do shows at Esther's Follies also, right? Yes. There's a lot of good comedy here. Yeah. And the fans are great. Well, they just love the fact

that it's here. Yeah. It's like, you know, out of the pandemic, this thing sprung. Yeah. And it really is like a weird thing that happened

where we're all like, fuck this. We gotta get the fuck out of LA. Yeah. And I was particularly motivated because my children were, at the time, 10 and 12. I was like,

I don't think I want them growing up in LA. Like I already dodged that bullet with my oldest daughter. It's just creepy. Yeah. It's like there's so much chaos and freaks and just like, I gotta get out of here. You know, and then during the pandemic, we had this opportunity to move to Austin. And I was like, I want to do this. And it was a crazy time to do it.

Because I was in the middle of this big spotify deal and you know the whole world was shut down and i have everything running smoothly and i'm like it let's uproot we're gonna start from scratch and we came here and i've never been happier that's great and then when all the other comics started coming here too and i was like all right i think this is gonna work there's a lot of comics here yeah it, it's pretty awesome. That's so crazy that everyone's coming here. Yeah. It's like becoming a real hub for comedy. It's so fun.

It is fun. Well, that is one of the cool things you can do with money. If you have money and there's something you really love, like I love stand-up, you can actually do something like that. You can actually make something happen and make it good for a lot of people. It's not just good for me. It's good for so many comics. Yeah. It's good for the audiences. It's good for the many comics. Yeah. It's good for the audiences.

It's good for the people that work there. It's fun. I mean, it helps the economy. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, the whole area is packed now. Yep. It's awesome. All right, Adrienne.

We'll see you tonight. Yes. I'm excited. Thank you for having me. I'm excited. And you got a tour coming up. Yeah. Come see me on tour.

What's your website? AdrienneAppaloochee.com. Spell that for these people. A-D-R. There's an I in Appaloochee. Yeah. Appaloochee's I-A-P-A-L-U-C-C-I. All right.

Go see her, folks. She's very funny. I'm really happy to meet you. Yeah. Thank you for having me. I'm pumped to see the shows tonight. Yes. Let's go.

Thank you. All right. Bye, thank you for having me. I'm pumped to do the shows tonight. Yes. Let's go. Thank you. All right, bye everybody. Bye.