The Joe Rogan Experience - #201 - EverLast

Episode Date: April 3, 2012

Joe sits down with EverLast.

Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Change them. What's going on? What happened? What was all that speed thing? I was playing around. What were you experimenting with, you fucking freak? One of my good friends in the music business,

one of the coolest motherfuckers I know, and one of the dudes that, you know, when I think I think about, wow, I'm friends with Everlast. It might not be a big deal to you because you're Everlast, but when I was a fan of House of Pain when I first moved to California, to me it's just cool as fuck to just sit here and kick it with you. You know how we do it, man. I appreciate that, man. Yo, I got to also say, man, last time I came on here, we joked around about my Twitter.

There was like 6,000 people on it, man. There's like 16,000 now, and I swear to God, at least nine of those 10,000 came straight from this show. I'm sure. Well, they didn't know. You know, it's OG Everlast, folks, if those of you are looking for them, because I'm sure there's a lot of fake Everlasts, right? I don't know. There must be. There's a lot of fake Everlast, right? I don't know. There must be. There's a whole bunch.

It's hard finding someone on Twitter that's correct, the real person. I actually got one of those little check marks recently. Ah, nice. So now I'm me. I'm actually me now. Yeah, those are tricky. You got to get those.

I look for... But the most positive bunch of people I've ever seen are from the Joe Rogan podcast. Dude, it's crazy, isn't it? I was waiting for like, I heard you on on the podcast you suck you're that i was like you know i was inevitably someone that's gonna come it wasn't none of that it was crazy they're amazingly nice it's the craziest group of people you know i had a guy come up to me this show this weekend and the dude was actually crying he had like tears in his eyes and he said that And he said that one of our podcasts where me and Brian Cowan were talking about

what's wrong with you when you're a hater and what it's really all about. It's really all about just being dissatisfied with yourself. And then you look at someone and you try to chop them down or you try to attack their weaknesses or find their flaws. But really what most of that comes from is a real a feeling of unease about your own life absolutely it's all of it and this guy said that it changed his life he said he literally stopped behaving that way he goes i realized what i was doing because i realized what i was doing right there because i never he goes i was just an asshole i didn't even know why i was an asshole

i couldn't help being an asshole he goes but just spelling that, that it was really all just me being frustrated about myself. He goes, I couldn't see that without you pointing it out. But now I see it so clear, it's changed my life. He's like, it just opened a door that I can never shut again. And then he kissed you. He gave me a little tongue. Reached in. A little reach.

People don't realize your brain is extremely kind. Yeah. If there's something that's bothering it, it'll tuck it behind anything it can and just tell you to ignore it. Sometimes it's easy to just move in a chair out the way and be like, homie, look, that's why you're upset.

Daddy did you wrong. Almost always, right? The mind is incredibly complex and none of us have a guidebook for it. That's a real problem. Nobody really, you know, you can join a religion, or you can join a cult, or maybe become a monk or something, and they give you some guidelines.

You could do it their way, but that might not be the way. You know, the way is your way. It could be different than my way. There's a lot of goddamn ways. There's a lot of ways. But there's principles that you need to get through like truth and honesty and kindness. They sound weak. We

talked about this last time that it takes a lot of strength to be a loving person. To just be open and loving. You gotta expose yourself. And it sounds you know the insecure people don't want to think like that. They want to think there's something wrong with them. Well you fucking queer. What are you talking love? You know that's ridiculous. You don't want more love in your life

everybody should want more love it doesn't mean you're weak it doesn't mean you're that person usually more than anybody else always loving their life yeah you know almost always then they don't know that everybody can see it you know because i've been that dude i've been that angry dude and didn't know that everybody could see like what the fuck is wrong with you man why you so tightly wound why why you know why you look at. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you, man? Why are you so tightly wound? Why are you looking at smack people? What the fuck is that all about? Well, it's always some shit that has almost nothing to do with what's going on right in front of you.

Yeah, I mean, shit, I'm 42, man, and I probably only figured it out nine months ago. I think I figured it out last week. I don't know, man. I think it out last week. I don't know, man. I think it comes and goes. I think that any real feeling of figuring anything out to me, it's always like real fleeting. And I never feel confident enough to even say I haven't figured it out ever. You know, it's always, to me, it's always just, I'm just trying to keep my fucking head above water like everybody else. Just trying to maintain, be nice enjoy there's no mastery of this fucking thing this is a ride we're on top of a fucking seven mile high wave man

just because the boat is turned the correct direction doesn't mean we have any control of this fuck you know you don't get no control of this crazy life absolutely no you just got to enjoy try to ride that wave as best you can, and try to do the best you can to enhance your environment. Enjoy what you got. Yeah. Enhance your environment. Enhance your friendships, you know?

Right? That sounds like a goddamn Everlast song. You know, I'm going to make you cry today, man. I bet you will. You were making me cry when you were warming up, man. I had to go out and take a shit. I was like, I'm going to have to drop some weight here. This is too good.

What do you got for us, man? You want me to just get down? Whatever you want to do. Are we ready? Dude, we have one of my favorite artists and a guitar in the room, man. Get down, get down. We could always talk. It'd be fun, you know.

It's all been said, it's all been done. War is over, battle's won. Sour grapes, sweet revenge. Heaven starts right where hell ends. She was young, 17. She felt so soft, she smelled so clean. Her aim was true, her heart was pure. Until the day that her daddy walked out the door. Until the day that her daddy walked out the door She's looking for a man and so much more But her Uncle Sam sent him off to war Little Miss America in all of your glory, she loves the paparazzi. She's trying to sell her story, she's going to write a movie. She won't be a star. Little Miss America, where did you get that scar? Where did you get that scar?

Desert sun, blazing sand Love in my heart, gun in my hand Lost a leg, killed a man In mortal combat, hand to hand Saw men kill, watched men die So many times that I can't cry It's been 18 months since I've seen home I get a purple heart, get a GI loan They say God blesses every child with his own But we're all gonna die in the dark alone Little Miss America

And out of your glory She's like a paparazzi She's trying to sell her story She's gonna write a movie She won't be your star Little Miss America Where did you get that scar? Back at home, it's kinda strange

Ain't nothing happening, ain't nothing changed Same old rules, same old game And still I'm haunted by the names Of all the friends Left behind They weigh so heavy on my mind At night I miss going out On patrol The desert wind

Turned my warm heart cold Little Miss America And now your glory She's like the paparazzi Little Miss America, and now to your glory. She's like the paparazzi, yeah. She's trying to sell her story. She's going to write a movie. She won't be a star.

Little Miss America, where did you get that scar? Where did you get that scar? Where did you get that scar? Where did you get that in the sky? That was heavy, dude. That was heavy. Thank you. Damn. That was great.

That's heavy. I wrote that when I went over to play for the boys in Iraq. That must have been a trip. I haven't been over there, but I've hung out with a lot of those guys on the bases when we do UFC shows, military shows. Man. It's a fucking tough life, man. It's a different breed of folk, man. Yeah.

God bless them, and we wouldn't exist without them. Yeah, we wouldn't exist without them. I just don't like the people that are putting them in places that I don't think they should be. Absolutely. Well, I mean, I was brought over there and I had just released an album that was vehemently making statements against the administration and the war. But when I was invited over there, they didn't ask me about any of it. And I really, you know, the way I look at it is most of these cats was trying to get some college money. That's it.

And said, you know, I believe in something, too. Well, that's what it used to be. I mean, that's when Pat Tillman signed up. That's what he did. He left the NFL. He was like, you know what? I believe in this. This is real.

You know, our country's being attacked. Then when he got over there, he was one of the biggest critics of the war ever once he got over there him and his brother i mean his brother doesn't even believe it was friendly fire you know his brother thinks they had him killed i believe you know that he i mean they covered up this whole story about friendly fire you know they pretended that he died in war you know by the time he was over there, he realized what a clusterfuck it was. The whole thing is a mess, man. The people behind it, though, the people that were willing to sign up and be heroes and really go and fight the enemy in their mind, that's an incredibly brave thing. Yeah, man, that's...

Which is the most fucked up thing about it is the idea that brave people get manipulated in the name of money. And I was, you know, what was shocking to me was how young these cats were and how much responsibility they carried on their shoulders. And I

thought about myself at 22 or 24. And this guy's running a squad of tanks and i was like you know you know probably passed out drunk in a bar somewhere after a concert you know what i mean so it was like you know you just give and do i went out there and there they would i mean it was like the most appreciative like you they thank you so much just for going and it's just bananas i was like i was i was privileged to go and i'd go back in a heartbeat it's just so scary to be over there it's so scary to be in such a fucked up place in the world it's you know most people that live in this side

live in nice cities drive nice cars you know exist in a peaceful state of harmony we're barely even aware that there's some people that mostly financially unfortunate at this point mostly just not a lot of fucking opportunities where they live at this point and they're getting shipped off to some crazy country on the other side of the world it's just filled with death and despair like most people don't even know like you know this guy that snapped recently and killed those people in afghanistan you know that story yeah he did like three tours he did a gang of tours not only that he thought he was going to get off combat duty they were they were dangling it over

his head he was losing his house back home and i mean i'm not making any excuses for this guy but the day of he's he watched one of his friends get his legs blown off you know and then i guess he just snapped. He doesn't even remember it. He went, or he says he doesn't remember it. Who knows? It's unfortunate. They manipulate the fuck out of these people, man.

I know a dude who had only 20 days left on a 20-year bid with the Army Reserve. And then with 20 days left, he was going to retire. They sent him to Iraq for a year and a half they can just do that they sent him back again too once they send you once they can send you again like you literally work for them forever you cannot quit there is no time like they somewhere in the they forever have an option that's insanity an option i mean how the the fact that we allow that man that's really fucked up. That's a travesty.

I'll be like this. I'll tell you like this. I'm honestly, you know, and if I was young, I'd still be saying this. You know, I ain't saying it because I'm past whatever age. But I think to a certain degree, it should be. You turn 18, you want to, like, have certain privileges in this country. You should go do your two-year service and, you know what I mean? Change a lot of shit, I'll tell you that.

Yeah, because every senator's kid would be in there every every governor and president's kid would have to do it it's you know yeah you know but that'll never happen you're right yeah you know uh i i think in principle and we'd have a standing army at all times of what 15 million people more than that you know how many young people do we have that yeah probably what do we have now i bet it's probably 15 million now how many people are in the army seven number of u.s military how many times have you been over there oh once but i'll go back any day. Now, you, like me, have a daughter. Doesn't that, that's when you see, like, dudes who have daughters over there.

You think about you being over there. I believe my wife was pregnant when I went. Wow. Yeah. You know what's weird, Joe? That you, I was listening to some old Howard Sterns. I don't know if you've been listening to the Kennison shit. And somebody said something on the Howard Stern show and he was like, is that true?

But he didn't have a computer to go. How many people in the military? So I was just thinking, how weird is that? Howard had no idea. There was no way for him to check that at all. So he just pretty much was like, all right, I guess I have to believe this. Yeah, you could talk all kinds of crazy shit back then. Yeah.

Yeah. That's good shit, though. All week he's having Sam Kinison on. Yeah, I listened to it today. It's crazy. From 1988. It's weird You know it's when I first started doing comedy Yeah, and because of Sam Kinison to this the first dude that I ever heard that I was like one moment. That's comedy, too

Yeah, that was crazy. I remember when the first time I saw him it was it was a shot It was like wow that's new yeah that dude changed the whole game. He changed comedy man It was like, wow, that's new. Yeah, that dude changed the whole game. He changed comedy, man. He went hard on the religious stuff at the time when that was. And he got away with it, too, because he was a former priest. Yeah, he was a preacher that turned the other way. It was like crazy.

He was classic. Does he have daughters, right? Or does he have any daughters? Yeah, well, he has them with his friend's wife. Do you know that whole story? No, I don't think so. You know that whole story? with his friend's wife.

Do you know that whole story? No, I don't think so. You don't know that whole story? He had a good fuck. I'm blanking on the dude's name now. The dude with the shaved head? Oh, my God. Don Barris. Oh, shut up, Brian.

No. Fuck, I can't believe him. Carl LeBeau. Carl LeBeau was his buddy and his road partner. He opened for Kinison on the road. And apparently, Kinison was banging his wife. And he didn't even know about it. And he had a kid with this chick.

And he thought it was his kid. It's Kinison's kid. Wow. So the whole time he's been raising this kid thinking it was his. It was his best friend. Wow. His best friend. What a shithead.

Wow. Banging his friend's wife. Wow. Not only that, without a condom, you fucking dirty bitch. Wow. He was crazy. You know, they said with Kinison, it was a head injury that changed his whole life. He was a kid.

He got hit by a truck. Said, completely changed his personality. Like, completely. Became a totally different person. Became reckless and crazy and loud and wild. Before that, he was like a regular, calm, sort of a peaceful kid. Maybe he didn't see another side and just realized or decided he was going ham.

Could be, right? Yeah, he crossed over for a second. Or I think it's just head injuries in general are fucking really bad for you. Getting your head fucked up is not good. For some people people it changes their personality i've heard of dudes that uh became depressed they uh they got just knocked out once and then they started getting like bad depression like all the time like we had a really

hard time being happy wow just one concussion you know golf ball to the head i know a dude who was fucked up by a golf ball that said for six months he was just a mess. Six months, man. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, and that's another thing that's going on with these soldiers. You know, the UFC has done a few of these

fight for the troops for the head injury, traumatic brain injury. Yeah, I did like one of those little PSAs for it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's that's some shit that's happening now.

Last before it closed, I actually did a visit at Walter Reed where they have all the cats who got hit with the IUDs. That will change your perspective because there's dudes there with literally half a body and talking like, I wish I could go back because I got homies there. It's crazy. A kid got two artificial legs talking about he's getting ready to join the DEA. Some crazy shit that'll make your problems seem real, real small.

I think that sense of camaraderie that a lot of those guys have with each other, too, it hits a crazy level. It hits a level that the average person, civilian is probably never going to experience well the level of panic and fear and emotion in a moment of death is you know and then you're sharing it so whatever secret you got it you know it's going to come to the surface not necessarily like you're going to yell out your secrets i'm saying but like if you're a guy who's going to cry while you're fighting or whatever all that's coming out and yeah you know it know, you're going to bond over that kind of shit, I would imagine. That's why fight camps are always so close, too.

You know, like an MMA fight camp. For sure. Or martial arts schools. All that shit. You experience something really scary together. You know, it's not as scary as war. But anything bonding. What's the old saying?

There's no atheists in foxholes, man. Indeed. Indeed. So what elseists in foxholes, man. Indeed. Indeed. So what else you got for us, man? Hey, somebody put a request in that I agree with 100%. What's that? I love your fucking cover of Folsom Prison Brews. I'll get there.

Folsom Prison Brews. It won't have the lead like do-do-do-do-do-do because I only got one guitar. Brian can do it with his mouth. We're kind of talking about a subject. Brian's got a guitar I'm going to do this one This one's called Could you imagine it?

Some of us pray Okay Some of us pray, some of us sin And some of us just don't know where to begin Guilty hearted pleasures Got you taking some unorthodox measures Can't help but lose even if you win Some of us pray, some of us sin. Some of us live, all of us die. Some of us just laugh at the others who cry. Broken hearted sorrow, got you thinking like there ain't no tomorrow and some of us can't look each other in the eye some of us live all of us die some of us give some of us give, some of us take And some of us just lie in the beds that we make

Hearts all torn and busted Double thinking everybody you trusted You can't always fix everything you break You can't always fix everything you break Some of us give, some of us take Some of us pray, some of us sin And most of us just don't know where to begin And most of us just don't know where to begin It's guilty hearted pleasures Got you thinking some unorthodox measures

Can't help but lose even if you win Some of us pray, some of us sin. Some of us pray, some of us sin. Some of us pray, some of us sin. Wow. Wow. First time I've ever done that one live. Really?

Yep. All right, so I'm going to have my mic on. All right, hold on. Let me turn it on. Okay. Am I back? There we go. That's the first time you've ever done that live?

Really? Yeah. Wow, that's awesome. I'm honored. That's badass. I love that song. Do you sometimes forget the lyrics or the thing, and you have to kind of make shit up on the fly?

Like, oh, I just fucked up a Corsair. I would kind of bring it back. Occasionally, which I was taught by some cats that showed me along the way, if you mess up on the guitar, do it again. Oh, just like go – Do it again. Okay. Make it look like you meant to do it kind of thing.

You know what I mean? Or just own it. Just own it and keep it moving you know I'll be honest if I mess up terribly I'll stop I've done it I've done it so it's a whole hold up man nah that sucks

right there I just really chopped that to hell so we're gonna start over and make it right is there a time limit like if it's like 30 seconds left in the song, you're obviously going to do that. You're probably not going to do that. It would have to be something

that disturbed my groove enough where I couldn't stop thinking about it. Which after 20 some odd years, it would take a pretty big bump in the road. You've been on the road like crazy lately, right? You've been just doing... I love playing music, man. you've been on the road like crazy lately right you've been just doing yeah i'm on a new new you know just i love playing music man we've been doing a combo with live band stuff and i just like i said i just did a run of acoustic shows and i really enjoyed it and

you know when you do acoustic just you and the guitar that's it um sometimes i'll have another guitar guy sitting with me to cover like lead parts for the you know certain songs and little counter you know picking while i'm strumming kind of things just to add to the song a little bit i was uh just in louisville when we were there the university of of kentucky is playing the university of louisville in a basketball game it's like the worst day ever they hate each other apparently right they have like a state civil war going on. And so, dude, you got to look at these pictures, man. Pull this shit up because it's ridiculous.

These dumb motherfuckers, they got all their photos. These kids rioted. Kentucky wins, but students lose in basketball riot photos. It's on wired.com. Kentucky wins, but students lose in basketball riot photos you gotta see this shit these stupid motherfuckers they're all their pictures are all on the internet they don't know anymore this is not the same world it's not the 70s yeah you can't just reflect on like man like you i used to love shows like deadwood and i'd be like man if i lived in the 18 somethings

man i would have been a shooting a motherfucker cat, dog. I would have shot a dude. Totally. What you going to do? Who's catching me? You better be a good shot. Look at this girl. She pulls her top up, and all these dudes are groping her and shit, and she's screaming.

They are wild in Kentucky, man. Wow. That is a different breed of human. That's not Kentucky, though, man. That's the university. That's America, homie. And those aren't white hands. That's America, dog. Those are mostly black hands on that white girl's titties, and, man. That's the university. That's America, homies. And those aren't white hands. That's America, dog.

Those are mostly black hands on that white girl's titties, and she's a redhead. Oh. Wow. Brian's upset. Hits a little too close to the home. Done it, dog. Look at this. This guy's got blood all over him.

He broke his hands open trying to smash a windshield with his fucking fists. He's bleeding off of his hands hands and they got a close-up of this dickhead's face wow you dummies are gonna do time you stupid fucks light cars on fire you cunts how come you can't just celebrate you shitheads you know what's funny is like see that crowd photo right there somewhere in there is a kid that in 20 years is gonna be running for senate and this picture is going to come up. And he was there when they rioted. And he's also listening to us right now.

It's that little fucker right there. He looks kind of like a young Newt. A young Sid Torum. Yeah. What are you doing? You playing a commercial? No, I just want to talk about the style and performance of a brand new Hyundai. Is that a Hyundai? Yeah. Hyundais look like Mercedes-Benz now. It's amazing. You playing a commercial? No, I just want to talk about the style and performance of a brand new Hyundai. Is that a Hyundai?

Yeah. Hyundais look like Mercedes-Benz now. It's amazing. You see that thing? Yeah. The new Hyundai? Yeah, these stupid fucking kids, man. This shit annoys the fuck out of me because everybody knew it was going to happen.

They all knew it. Was it crazy there? There's a bottle of Kentucky Gentleman in his hand. That's what he's drinking. Oh, yeah. Was it crazy? Was it like your audience is like psycho and stuff like that better couldn't couldn't have been better audiences in on earth it was impossible they duncan got a round of applause and a standing ovation not not just

around applause with standing ovation every show going on stage going on stage he was getting standing ovations they couldn't have been nicer friend, more fun. Louisville was the shit. It's a fun place. That's the beautiful thing about clubs like the improv, like high-end clubs, is they develop people that are fans of comedy, too. There's not a lot of places in the country where you can guarantee you're going to see national-level comedians, but all the improvs, all big name comics are

going to come through. They couldn't have been any better, man. That place was amazing. Louisville's the shit. Yeah, man. I got to get to a show. I haven't been to one in a minute, man. Next time you're in my neck of the woods down south.

I'm about to lay down a video. I say lay down because I'm talking to a musician. Lay down. You're dropping some beats over there, Joe. When I'm talking to musicians, man, I like to use their language. You're going to lay down that video? Lay down a video. I like lay down because I'm talking to a musician. Lay down. You're dropping some beats over there, Joe. When I'm talking to musicians, man, I like to use their language. You're going to lay down that video? Lay down a video. I like that, though, man.

You know what I'm saying? Lay that bitch down. Lay down some comedy on that bitch. I'm going to put it on VHS, Joe. No, beta, bro. I'm sticking with beta. So are you going to go that you do? I mean, are you already going the route, the same one as the recently Louis C.K. guy just threw it up?

No, his idea. I totally stole it. I didn't have that idea at first. Yeah, I was trying to get it. He didn't have it at first either. Radio had it and music. It's kind of the same principle, I think. Yeah, he's the first guy to deal with comedy.

And now everybody's going to do it that way. Comedy Central. Yeah, but your folks, man. I'm going to tell you something about your folks, man. Your folks love you. I love them, too. I mean, these cats you something about your folks, man. Your folks love you. I love them, too. I mean, these cats, like, it's, you know. I don't want to say that's why.

I don't really know why. So, I mean, that's a lot of folks that's going to be hollering at the website, man. Yeah, you know what, dude? I really firmly believe that when you put positive energy out there, you attract like-minded people. You're going to get a few cunts in the mix. It's inevitable, especially on the Internet on the internet especially like in text form like when dudes get to tweet shitty things to people right on our message boards or something like that like yeah my thing is like do you really think that stopped my day yeah do you think that did he

think that like slowed me down in my r8 yeah it's real simple, man. Don't ever say anything to anybody that you wouldn't say to their face. Just don't do it. And if you do say it, say it as if you would say it to their face. Otherwise, you're a cunt. It's that simple. Pretty much.

If I say something, I'm going to say it to your face. Like, I got a bunch of negative tweets the other night because some dude in front of the Country Music Awards, okay, homeboy standing there with fake rips in his jeans, like he bought jeans that were already pre-ripped, and he's standing front of a jet and i don't know if the song was any good because quite honestly i said the song was i said here's i go this is country a dude's wearing fake ripped jeans standing in front of a jet singing a shitty song and then the hashtag was that ain't country

you know but silly jeans you're a silly bitch you're a silly bitch if you're wearing fucking fake ripped jeans period have you 2012 ever had fake ripped jeans, period. It's 2012. Have you ever had fake ripped jeans, Joe? I might have. I might have, yeah. I might have bought some, yeah. Did you ever used to bleach your jeans in the basement where you poured actual real bleach on your jeans in the 80s? No, I didn't.

But I definitely have owned a pair of jeans with rips in them. They might have been like given to me from wardrobe on Fear Factor, but I had them and I wore them. But I'm old enough now to realize that's ridiculous. It is kind of ridiculous. It's very Nickelback, by the way. It's easy to buy them by mistake nowadays because now they have jeans that just look like they're fucked up a little, but then you wash them once and they become ripped jeans. The clothing is very thin.

Yeah, but you can buy it by mistake going, wow, those jeans look cool. The next thing you know, you have some ripped jeans and you're like the rainbow. Yeah, but this dude had dark jeans. I wear crispy, brand new 501s if I wear jeans. That's my new thing, man, those jeans look cool. And the next thing you know, you have some ripped jeans and you're at the rainbow. Yeah, but this dude had like dark jeans. I wear crispy brand new 501s if I wear jeans. That's my new thing, man. I just got them. I love them. I'm talking about crispy. I don't even wash them.

I'm more like cardboard, man. No, I'm serious. That's how I wear them, dawg. And then I throw them away. That's balla. That's hilarious. That's what Charlie Murphy does every time he does a comedy live it i live at sergeant supply sergeant supply over there in burbank man really yeah that place 501s all day long you just get a new pair every week on the road i throw like 14 pairs of them and they'll last like three shows really yeah you could probably sell those such a so money like on the bus and stuff i wear gym

shorts and just kind of lounge around so but do you actually throw them out or do you give them to like goodwill or something i just kind of usually leave them in a hotel i really want to i mean like usually on tour i sweat so much like in those things man it'd be like you know i don't have time to wash them and i'm not trying to give them the goodwill like just loaded with my loaded with my dna you know i bet there's some people out there that would buy it. I'll just start tweeting hotel rooms across the country. I'm leaving some jeans here. Ate Taco Bell earlier.

Might smell great. Yeah. Yeah. You should just. Yeah. This is going to be dudes who are going to be jerking off sniffing your crotch. Are you sure? Sure.

Some dudes are going to go real up with that. I'll never throw another one. Man. 501. One for the stinky in my pinky. Okay, what? I think you need to play a song just to cure us of what he just said. By the way, that surplus store is really awesome. I go there to buy, like, fucking gas masks and crazy shit all the time.

But then I feel like people actually wore these and died in them. I wear, like, military pants and dyed them. I wear like military pants and jeans is what I wear. That's my wardrobe, man. Those are the best. Cargo pants fit so much shit. I don't need to carry around my fanny pack. I got a fanny pack.

People think I'm bullshitting. Catch me at the airport. Ready? Just wear my fanny pack. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. Here we go. I hear that train a-comin', a-comin' around the bend. And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know when. And I'm stuck in fulsome prison

Time keeps me See, it happened right there. You're live witness. I hit the wrong chord and I'm not going to live with that. I'm going to take that one more time. Oh, from the top? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I hear that train a-comin' A-comin' around the bend And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know when And I'm stuck in for some prison Time keeps draggin' on And that train just keeps a rolling down the sand and tone when i was just a baby my mama told me son always be good boy Never play with guns But I shot a man in Reno

Just to watch him die When I hear that whistle blow Hang my head and cry Good Lord, I just hang my head and not cry Proud of rich folks eatin' in advanced dining calls Proud of drinkin' whiskey and smokin' big cigars Well, I knew I had it comin' Knew I can't be free But those people keep moving, and that's what tortured me

Would it free me from this prison, that railroad train would mine That railroad train with mine Probably moved it just a little Far down that line Parting for some reason This way I long to stay And I'd let that lonesome whistle Blow all my blues away My blues are weak Yeah Damn, that was good.

That's so awesome. That's a beautiful cover, man. God damn. What a fucking song that is. Yeah, I remember when I wrote it, man. It was real hot. Back in the day in another life. I'm so stoned watching this.

It's almost too much. Really? Yeah, it freaks me out a little, being able to just see this so close to me. I don't know. It's weird. Yeah, this would be the dopest intimate concert of all time. My dog's named Johnny Cash. Is that right?

Huge Johnny Cash fan. I had a Rottweiler named Elvis. Oh. I had a pit bull named Frank Sinatra. That's awesome. That was before I really got to know Frank Sinatra's personality. Still, it's Frank though, man. But.

You better off having a pit bull named B-Martin. To your Frank, I'll raise you a Tony. Tony Bennett. I had a cat named Skittles. Skittles. Yeah. I had a cat named Skittles. Skittles. I had a cat named Jack Dempsey. Did a Mexican dude in Florida shoot him? I had a cat named Jack Dempsey. That shit ain't right. I just gotta say, man.

I don't care what the kid did. You can see there's I'm going there. Is that alright? Can I go there? On this Trayvon Martin thing? My take on it? No matter what the kid did, there's two kinds I'm going there. Is that all right? Okay, go ahead. Can I go there on this Trayvon Martin thing? My take on it? Okay, yeah, yeah, please. My take on it? No matter what the kid did, there's two kinds of 17. There's LeBron James 17 that looks like a 36-year-old man.

Right. And then there's child 17. Right. And I haven't seen one picture of this kid that isn't a child 17. It's true. And this dude outweighed him by 100 pounds. Did he? 100 pounds? Yeah, 17. It's true. And this dude outweighed him by 100 pounds. Did he? 100 pounds?

Yeah. You seen the size of the dude? And the pictures from what I'm seeing, I'm guessing on that one, on the weight. Okay? Outweighed him significantly. Regardless of that, most he's in danger of is what? A broken jaw? Maybe a black eye?

His story. And I don't know what happened. I'm just saying. Grown man against a kid. I'm talking about me against a 17-year-old kid. I need to. There's no kid on earth that looks like that in the eyes. Right.

Like a baby. Like a child. Not like a grown man. Like dude who's been like through the, you know, the grind. Yeah. Is going to put me on my back and kill me. Yeah, but that's you. This guy might have been kind of a bitch.

You know what I mean? This guy was rejected. Murder is murder. He tried but that's you. This guy might have been kind of a bitch. You know, I mean, this guy was rejected. Murder is murder. He tried to be a cop. And as far as I'm concerned, the one that stood his ground that night is the one that's dead. Maybe, but maybe not. You know, his story is that the kid came back and attacked him. And he actually has supposedly ABC News was reporting yesterday that they've enhanced the video.

And they found cuts on the back of his head. I'm and they found cuts on the back of his head which showed that this kid i just don't see it as worth killing somebody i agree with you but his story is the kid was trying to get his gun his story is the kid told you not to follow dude police told you stay out of it leaving this is a man who already was an authority figure and was itching to use his gun that's the bottom line and. And I'll leave it at that. That is true. But he did, apparently, according to the 911 call, they told him to turn around and he did turn around. And his story is

that's when the kid jumped him. I don't know what the fuck is true. I don't know what he could have said to the kid to piss him off like that if he did. You know, I definitely agree the dude was into being an authority figure. Dude was itching to use his gun, man. But it also could have been that they were

in a life and death struggle. I wasn't there, man. I'd agree that it sounds weak. If it was a life and death struggle, though, Joe, grant me this, the only reason it was is because one of them brought a gun and it wasn't the kid. That's true. Now, had there not have been a gun there, the worst that could have probably happened

in the situation was one of the others got their ass kicked. Right, right. If there hadn't been a gun. If there was no gun at the scene. Right, but his deal is that he's trying to be like neighborhood patrolman. With a gun. Yeah. Well, it would be great if somebody was actually a bad guy.

You have a gun, you want to shoot somebody. That's what you need when there's bad people out there. This kid was not what he was looking for, obviously. But hold on a second. Do you know that in that neighborhood, a man is in critical condition right now, a 50-year-old guy who got beat almost to death with hammers. And two 18-year-old kids were arrested. They robbed him, and they beat the fuck out of this guy with hammers. So it's not like there's not bad people in the world that you could use a gun with.

There was no gun there. There wouldn't be a dead person there that is true but that is this scenario there could have been an easily a scenario this is a very bad area where these people are living in there's a lot of break-in entries there's a lot of robbery a lot of us you're right which is why in the correct manner i'm just saying i see a baby when i look at that kid i do as well i do as. But it's just that kid. That's a terrible situation. A real motherfucker could sense evil. You know what I mean?

Like the kind of evil that would beat a man to death with hammers. You could sense that, Joe. You could feel that in the air. I agree. I agree. But again, if you go to his story, I don't know what the fuck happened, bro. But his story is that the kid jumped him. That's his story. I ain't heard him tell his story i don't know what the fuck happened bro but his story is that the kid jumped him that's his story if that's i heard him tell his story yeah yeah well it's been it's been

out there it's been i heard him tell his story with his words yeah i ain't heard him tell his story you know what you heard anybody else either if he sat here in front of me and told his story and i looked in his eyes and i believed him that's a different right but do you understand that no one no one's talked no one's talked we're getting all nancy grace i'm just saying i see a little baby i'm saying that i'm not even talking about race nothing else aside i'm saying had a man that was itching not itching to be a badass with a gun not brought a gun to a situation that didn't need it anyways true there wouldn't be a dead person right if a guy that's wrongful death that's that's murder man. If you had some big John McCarthy type cop out there, nothing would ever happen.

He would have said to the kid, how you doing tonight? And the kid would have said, I'm all good. And they would have said, have a good night. Be careful. And that would have been the end of it. A lot of it is people that are looking for trouble. And a lot of the reason why they're looking for trouble is because they're insecure. And it easily could have been what this guy's deal is.

I don't know the dude. I'm just saying, I see a baby dead. It is a baby dead. It is a baby dead. That bothers me. That bothers the fuck out of me, too. I'll be honest. If those pictures had looked like he was a hood,

I would probably feel a lot different. I'd probably be like, oh, man, looks like he's kind of a hood. But I don't. It just looks like a kind of kid to me. It's true. It is true. But, you know, I don't know what the fuck happened. You don't bring a gun against a kid man i'm just

saying i thought he was going to run into kids though you know he's controlling he was hoping to run into a situation where he could pull out his gun maybe you might be right or why else would you carry it if you're not your average police officer i bet you your average real like normal personality of a human being police officer probably does not like the fact at all that they have a gun all the time. I would disagree with that heavily. I have a lot of friends that are cops. I have a lot of friends that are cops. They don't want to pull that gun out.

That's for goddamn sure. That's what I mean. I mean in the sense that, you know, the thought of using it is actually very foreboding and not something interesting at all. I have friends that have shot people before, and you talk to them about it, and it's not a pleasant memory. It's not a good thing. You know, I've had.

That's the thing on your belt. The last thing you ever really want to have to reach for. I had a conversation with a dude just a couple weeks after you had a shooter, dude. And he was, you know, just starting to get back in the swing of things in his head. You know, just dealing with the fact. He's like, I'm happy I did it. He goes, like, I was a piece of shit. But let me tell you, it's a fucking tricky thing, taking a man's life.

Yeah. It's crazy. I would like to hear the dude tell his story. Yeah, I would too. I mean, I think hiding is doing more harm than good. Well, the real issue, though, is the legal issue. I mean, this guy, if he is innocent, if you are innocent, you really should shut the fuck up until your lawyers get everything in the proper order.

And there's too many channels right now for prosecutors to go after people that aren't necessarily guilty. And there's a lot of people behind bars right now that if they had better representation, if they didn't open their fucking mouth. I'm not saying in this guy's case, but if the guy is innocent, he really probably should shut the fuck up until he actually goes to trial or talks to the probably but him going on larry king does larry king doing it anymore no him going on pierce morgan here's you know that his brother was on pierce morgan though really yeah i missed that yeah his brother was on well i didn't mean to go there but i just no look man you went there because it's it's a part of our culture it just kind of bugs me you know i mean it's? It's like I need to, you know, I feel like I live. I just feel like I said, there's two different 17-year-olds.

And, you know, if you Mr. Neighborhood Watch, you're supposed to be looking out for your community. How do you know that wasn't a person from your community? You must not have approached them in a manner that was like, excuse me, sir. Or excuse me, what's going on? You know what I mean? There must have been some real rude shit. And if you didn't bring a gun, nobody would be dead. That is true.

That's my biggest point. If the dude that wasn't itching to use his weapon didn't bring a weapon, there probably wouldn't be even anything except a kid that got scraped up in a scuffle or a man that got scraped up in a scuffle. That is true in this situation. Well, that's the situation I'm talking about, Joe about, that's not necessarily what this guy was looking for when he's armed doing his neighborhood watch. He's looking for people like these two kids. One of them's 18, five foot eight.

He was wearing a blue denim shirt and he beat a fucking 50 year old man with a hammer. You know, that guy's fucked up. That guy is severely fucked up and will probably never be the same human being again. He might die i wonder if he dies they'll pay as much attention as this kid that got shot because it's kind of fascinating man you know there's a lot of people that are real squeamish about talking about black kids doing something violent to white people i ain't got no problem with this ain't about race to me i know you don't you know what i mean i know you don't like i said i admitted openly like if he looked a lot more hood, I probably would mentally feel different about it. That's just natural of the way your mind works.

I'm talking about our culture. I'm not necessarily talking about you. I think on our culture, it's interesting. But we all have a little bit of that regardless. All of us on every side, everywhere. But we're also looking to catch people in a gotcha moment of racism. We love that. We would love to find someone who especially saw a safe situation like that and

to be honest the real problem isn't even mr zimmerman the real problem is this law called the stand your ground law that says if me and you are in a place basically and nobody else is around and i say you attack me and make it look that way you could shoot i can easily kill you and get away with it well and there's just two people man it's fucking hard to figure out what the hell happened exactly you know there's a lot of crazy fuckers out there that can just tell lies man you know there's a there's a lot of people out there that are completely sociopathic so if you give them opportunity to use their gun in a situation that's like a lot of people could start disappearing or falling victim to uh you know uh

self-defense i wonder if people would like actually move to florida just so they could shoot people easier you know just start some arguments i wouldn't doubt it man i wouldn't doubt it i wouldn't doubt it either man florida is one of the weirdest fucking places in the country it really does feel like you're in another place i'm there in two weeks i'm doing that uh improv in lauderdale i like going down there they know how to party there are a lot of fun people. But it really feels like you're on an island somewhere in another country. And it's like subject to U.S. rules, but no one's really watching.

Yeah, it's kind of like the wild, you know, still the 80s down there in a weird way. Yeah, in a lot of ways. Yeah. Florida is strange. Well, the whole place is built on cocaine money, man. Literally. Like, literally. There's that whole, like, you've seen the cocaine cowboys, like, things, right? Yeah.

Like, downtown Miami is, like, literally built with kilos of cocaine. It's amazing. They just poured it into the cement. Yeah, it's amazing. It's so ridiculous. There's more banks per capita, apparently, in Miami than anywhere. It's all just money laundering, going down left and right. If you haven't seen Cocaine Cowboys, folks, we've talked about it before.

You must. You must. And you must see its sequel. Yes. Cocaine Cowboys 2, hustling with the grandmother. The godmother. Yeah. The godmother who's alive.

This bitch is killed. Who knows how many fucking people. And she's just chilling in Bogota. You were saying in jail she made like 500 mil a year in jail and she was such a badass bitch they didn't even try to kill her a woman and they just let her run shit oh my god that's a crazy documentary yeah i think miami is the closest to a foreign country we have in america outside of puerto rico which is technically sort of America, right? Isn't that still, aren't they debating that recently,

like whether they want to become a state finally or not? Come on, just be a state. What do you give a fuck? But it's cool that, you know. That fucks up all the flags, though, man. Everybody's got to get a new flag. Yeah, right? People might harbor some resentment.

Where would we put that extra star? Where the fuck is that going to go? I don't know. That's going to take some sort of mathematical seamstress type to figure out. This is weird shit like Hawaii. Five hours in a fucking plane over the ocean, and yet it's still America. Alaska. I had some Alaskans come to the last show, and they were telling me,

how do I tip you? After I got off stage and like what are you talking about goes? I'm well, I want to tip you and I'm like no Yeah, he's like oh, this is my first comedy show and it's the most insane thing I've ever seen in my life, and it's I want to tip you like no don't tip me What the fuck are you talking about? But it was so weird talking that he seemed like a like he was from a different country Like he huh he he was talking all these other things about. Well, essentially they are.

I mean, it really is. It's not attached. Right. I mean, this is my joke. If it's not attached, it's just some shit we stole. Right. That is what it is. Or bought.

Yeah, whatever. Same difference. Would you ever go to. Bought from somebody who stole it. Give them some fucking whiskey. And they took Manhattan for like seven bucks. Would you ever go to Alaska to do comedy? Or do you think.

Oh, yeah. Fuck yeah. Is there there people there for that yeah yeah it's pretty douglas stanhope used to go there all the time but they just got to be too stupid for him he bailed after a while he couldn't take it anymore they get pretty nutty up there from what i hear man hell yeah they do six months of daylight six months a night that's yeah and there's bears everywhere and you know it's fucking crazy you live in a nutty place. It's ridiculous. You live in a place where humans aren't necessarily supposed to be. It's fucking freezing for a good chunk of the year. Like, death freezing.

Like, Antarctic-style freezing. I couldn't do it. Yeah. That's hard. You ever see that movie, 30 Days of Night? Is it a vampire movie? Yeah. Pretty good vampire movie, man.

And the vampires go to Alaska because they could just fuck people up for a whole month because it doesn't get light out for a month. That's got to be depressing as shit. You know? I mean, you think Seattle is depressing? I remember the first time I went to Copenhagen and we landed and we went to this place. We had the first time I went to Copenhagen. And we landed. And we went to this place.

We had heard of this legendary place called Christiani. I don't know if you're familiar. It's like a place that squatters took over, apparently. And they were legally. It's basically a little section in the middle of the city where they can sling hash and weed. And they just. The government kind of looks the other way. They're squatters.

But every once in a while, the government goes in there and tries to raid it, and they fight them off. It's crazy. This little section is called Christiania. How big is it? It's tiny. It's like six blocks of land. So it's just six blocks? But it's all within a gate, and it looks like a hippie community.

It looks like little gardens and this and that. But then you walk down this road, and they got all these sheds set up, and they're slanging weed there. Wow. Good weed. Yeah. snap but then you walk down this row and they got all these sheds set up and they're slanging weed there wow good weed yeah so like i remember we got some real good way went back to the hotel and smoked up and it was about seven in the evening and the sun was still out and so bang when we smoked weed this weed knocked me out i fell out i wake up i look at my watch it says three i look outside it's light it's i was like man that shit knocked me out from 7 last night to 3 the next afternoon. Jesus Christ.

So I go downstairs, and I'm talking to the lady about something at the desk. And I'm like, yeah, where's a good place to eat? She's like, sir, it's 3 in the morning. She's like, it's not 3 in the afternoon. Well, that's ridiculous. That blew my mind. It short-circuited me. That was one day.

Right? Like, it screwed me up where I went up to the room and, like, my brain was having a hard time processing the thought of the sun being out bright as hell at three in the morning. How long is it bright for? It goes down, apparently, for, like, an hour. Like, between 12 and 1 every night it kind of goes down. And it doesn't ever go all the way down. It's kind of dusk and then it comes back up. They must be so happy.

At certain times of the year. This is, like, summertime. And I bet the winters, I all the way down it's kind of dusk and then it comes back up they must be so happy at certain times of the year this is like summertime and um i bet the winters i don't know if it's different i don't know if they suffer the the opposite of that but it was like it's short-circuited to me so what my point is is like six months of something like that yeah would would probably fry your board man i'm pretty sure they do in alaska i'm pretty sure in alaska there's moments where they have like almost perpetual sunlight i think think they just have an hour where it goes down for a little bit and comes back up. I think that's the case up there, too. Copenhagen's pretty far up there, man. That's weird that they would just decide to

not have things open at 3 in the morning when it's bright out. Just stay open, bitch. What the fuck are you doing? Hire somebody. Or if you had a business, do it. That could be your option to do it. Yeah, the reason why shit is closed is because you can't see outside without lights on. That's why shit's closed okay now that you can see outside with lights on keep shit open yeah what the fuck are you doing man what do you need to sleep or

something yeah what do you hate money you hate money you need to sleep what is uh your favorite place to tour do you have a favorite country to go to um i'm really a big fan of japan just because it's it's it's it's it's the place where I feel the most foreign. You know what I mean? It's like I honestly feel like a foreigner, and I enjoy that feeling of being the different one. Even though you're the gaijin. I've never run into anything. There's one sushi bar that wouldn't serve me because I was gaijin.

Really? Yeah, I went to this bar, and apparently the dude just wasn't that. They don't serve gaijin at this bar. Wow. Forget the name of it. How long ago was this? Is this recent? Yeah, no, no.

Within a decade, but like eight, nine years ago, probably. Brian and I just went a couple of weeks ago. First time. No, maybe actually longer. Maybe like 15 years ago. Damn. Yeah? I wonder if it's changed now.

Maybe. We had some of the best sushi ever. I've heard there's just some old cats that are just like, I'm not giving you my fish. ago. Yeah. I wonder if it's changed now. Maybe. I've heard that there's just some old cats that are just like, I'm not giving you my fish. Yeah. Yeah. I remember 60 years ago.

You can't have my fish. Yeah. How old was the dude? Do you think he was alive back then? I don't know, but you know, old enough. Yeah.

Yeah. What a fucking crazy thing for a country to go through. Could you imagine if we found out like Chicago disappeared in the middle of the night? You know, Chicago and Phoenix disappeared. Boom. Gone.

In a second, gone. How would we react to some country that just took Chicago and Phoenix? Just vaporized it. Just vaporized 500,000 people or whatever the fuck it was. We're the only ones that ever did it. Woo. That's dark. It did it. That's dark. It's crazy. It's dark.

It's really crazy if you ever look at all the different weapons that are live, like that the United States has, all the different nuclear warheads. Have you ever seen a map of Russia's nuclear warheads, United States' nuclear warheads? Iran supposedly is working on some shit, but Israel's got a ton of shit. Pakistan has nuclear weapons. India has nuclear weapons. They're like, Iran can't have them.

Everybody's got them. Yeah, they shouldn't have them, but nobody should have them. North Korea's got them. It's really amazing when you look at how many of them there are. If you look at a map of the entire world, rather, and all the nuclear arsenal, we could wipe out the whole planet completely.

Many, many times over. That's insane. I don't know how they're ever going to fix that. How are they going to stop those things from being active? Don't you have to figure that the law of averages says sometime, whether it's now or a thousand years from now, some of that shit's going to pop off.

People believe that that happened in the past there's a lot of people that believe that there was at one point in time people had figured out uh nuclear power and we had uh there's there's like evidence of giant massive explosions and parts of like uh the middle east and stuff like that i feel like people believe it was lebanon or something like that where people believe this it's one of those uh old ancient civilization ideas. Something along those lines. They think that at one point in time we had figured out nuclear power. They know we figured out batteries.

They had batteries they found in the pyramids and shit, which is pretty fascinating. They figured out some shit, but I doubt they ever had nuclear power. That's pretty preposterous. It was the aliens, man. The aliens did it, dude. If the aliens come, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

The aliens aren't already here. Didn't we talk about my alien technology already? Your alien? I have alien technology in my body, man. The titanium valve. I firmly believe there's alien technology here, dog. You think so? Absolutely, man. How do you think that works?

They just give us little stuff and tell us to evolve you know or you know if you know okay you know or similar to something of you know some things that got left behind and just got studied and properly looked at you know what i mean like some terminator where they got the little chip and they're like backwards engineering everything you know what i mean you know or it's something that we already have that we just take for granted like birds or something. Birds are the aliens the whole time. I forgot how wide the array of conversation. I forgot how wide the span of topics get on this show. Well, I think it's just like having a real conversation, right?

Oh, yeah. Amongst owners. Yeah. Fuck yeah. I think if aliens are here, and I don't think they're giving us anything. I don't believe that. I don't know if we've ever captured any alien craft and back engineered it.

It sounds sexy, but it also sounds like a crock of shit. I don't buy it. There's not a big enough leap. You know, there's some leaps, you know, like the transistor. There's a few things. And if you look back at like,

but it's all pretty much documented how everybody figured out everything and every step along the way. I used to think before i looked into it that maybe there was some shit that the the army learned from roswell and you know that maybe they'd figure but now i don't think so you just shit on their cars yeah you know what i think man i think uh if if we have had some contact with with an alien life form i think they're so fucking far past us that they can pause the earth and sweep up and then disappear again. I mean, I think we're dealing with some motherfuckers. We're food.

Yeah. Or, yeah, we could be that. Well, I wish they would eat some more of us. There's too many of us. You know, too many shitheads. There should be a test. And if, you know, you don't pass the test, you get fucking turned into barbecue. Like Logan's Run or something. Yeah, but then you don't want the test you get fucking turned into barbecue like like logan's

run or something yeah but then you don't want to people to miss their family and their loved ones i don't want you to lose your your family because you're a dumbass and an alien came and ate you i would have to be fighting with you against the aliens well that would probably turn most douchebags into you know probably more respectable people anyway that's true right yeah if we knew that there was a alien that was watching he was gonna eat you if you were a cunt yeah that would be good incentive to not be a cunt but then it'd be suicide by alien people just just cunt off just fucking run around just lose it for a day suicide by alien man girl breaks up yeah i'm going fucking suicide by alien and people see

him running down the street fuck Fuck you. Fuck you. Throwing rocks and shit. And everybody watches because they know what's going to happen. Aliens show up. Eat them. Hey. Could happen. What was this song?

We'll make great pets. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we will. Well, you know, if you look at how we treat everything that's intelligent that we don't understand, like dolphins and orcas and even primates, like chimpanzees.

We treat them like shit. Put them in cages and shit. You know, we don't necessarily enhance their life. We're not out there giving chimpanzees laptops and showing them how to spell. You know, we teach them a few things to do tricks for candy so we can figure out how smart they are. But that's no different than studying prisoners. You know, that's like psychological tests on prisoners. That's all that shit is.

It's really funny that we would think that aliens would be any different than us. If you look at every single intelligent species on this planet, you know, even semi-intelligent, they all take advantage of those underneath them. Killer whales eat dolphins. Dolphins eat their babies. Chimps eat monkeys we're cunts all life forms on this planet it seems like our cunts we're we're we're hoping that if there are and you know if there it is an alien life form that's super intelligent we're

hoping they're not they're better than us they're way better than. We're trusting that they've got their shit together. Oh, I'm not trusting anything. I'm just saying that we might have learned a few things in the last few years off of some shit. Yeah. I wouldn't trust an alien as far as I could throw them. Honestly. But you really think we've learned things

from back-engineered alien technology? I'd like to believe it. That's my thing. I'd love to believe it. I'd like to believe it. I can't prove it. I'd love to believe it. I can't prove it. I can't prove it. I love to believe it. I can't prove it.

I wouldn't swear to it. If you told me my life depended on it, would you swear to it? I'd say, ah, fuck no. It probably is bullshit. On my wall, I have framed the Roswell Daily Record or whatever the fuck the newspaper is. The very newspaper where they reported that they had a crashed UFO. They've recovered it. They've sent the parts of it to Wright-Patterson Air Force Base.

They thought they had something, man. I mean, they put this shit in the paper, that it was a crashed UFO. I wonder what it was. I really wish I talked to G. Gordon Liddy about this shit. I had G. Gordon Liddy on my phone. I mean, there is an Area 51 out there. You go near it, and they'll come fuck with you.

They'll kill you. Yeah, they shoot on sight. They'll kill you. Yeah. They, they shoot on sight, but I ain't, no, I ain't romanticizing. I just,

I just know, look at the stars. There's a billion of them to think there ain't some other life forms out there. It's just, you know, a little bit arrogant. Yeah, for sure.

I just don't know if they come here. Maybe not. It might be really hard to do. It might be too hard. Even if you want to get real stoner, like, and you know and we can be like, well, maybe if they were that advanced, they wouldn't even need these ships and all this crap. They'd travel interdimensionally. Well, you know the real theory that trips me out, man, is that we came from Mars. The real theory is that the reason why human life is different from all the other primate life on this planet is that what had happened was there had been the development of lower hominids on this planet

that were reaching close towards being like a human being but hadn't quite gotten there. Right. But we were existing on a completely different planet, Mars. Mars used to have water. Mars used to have an atmosphere. I know about the faces and the pyramids. I don't believe in all that. I think that most of it looks like bullshit.

Yeah, most of it looks like tricks and shadows. If you really pay attention to the high-resolution photos and the experts that have been there, people want to see some shit, but most likely it's just tricks and shadows. There's a few objects up there, like the pyramid-looking things that make you go, huh. But there's some natural things that look like, there's things called yardangs, you know, that look like a face carved in a rock rock but it really is just the natural stone structure did you read the book about all that yeah graham hancock's book i read his book about it women are from venus men are from mars that's not the book you silly bitch um it's uh there's a lot

of dudes who believe that there was at one point in time a civilization on mars that made its way to earth many many many many thousands of years ago. And then what, like, started humping the finer, like, primate chicks? I think we're them. I think the idea is that we're them. You know, I think it's the Dogons in Africa, a whole tribe, and that's their entire mythology. Their entire mythology is based on the fact that we are a tribe from mars and that we came here it's fucking fascinating i'm gonna have to google that one i'm gonna have to google that one it's

fascinating shit man because we don't think it's possible but yet look man we put a fucking rover on mars man we flew a fucking rover and we're taking pictures from mars all day yeah i mean they have all kinds of cool shit going on high resolution close-up photos and we know that we can put a man in space and we know we can fucking send an object to to mars and if we can get someone in space to stay alive and and you know not cook them with gamma ray bursts from giant stars exploding out there in the galaxy which is very possible you know but if we can get them all the way to mars like six months and they stay alive they got enough food dude they can do what's called terraforming.

Where they can build machines that are big enough to actually create an artificial atmosphere on Mars. That's like, that's possible even within our lifetime if they really started dedicating themselves towards it. That's some crazy shit, man. Maybe spending some of these billions there. Yeah, fuck all this war shit. Could you imagine if they really did establish a base on the moon and a base on mars could you fucking imagine how crazy that would feel just to know as kids we were all told by now that would have happened like as kids

we were told 2012 oh my god it's gonna be jetson's land out there well that's the big argument against the moon landing you know there's there's not a whole lot of arguments against the moon landing that makes sense. And this is coming from someone who's argued it. I've said to people, I don't believe we landed on the moon. That's ridiculous. What the fuck do I know? I have no idea. It's preposterous.

But I do know that there hasn't been anything from 1969. Yes, since. Cheaper, easier, and faster. I'm not far behind you on that. But the moon landings. It's a fascinating subject. You know, I think most likely what happened is they did put people on the moon, but they faked a lot of the footage. There's some of that footage, some photographs that look fake as fuck.

There's even a guy named Jay Weidner who made a documentary about it. There's something called a front screen projection method of filming things before they had a green screen and Kubrick used it in 2001 and his idea is that that's the same techniques they use to fake some of these videos. He doesn't believe that

the moon landing was a hoax but what he believes is that some of the video is actually faked. Yeah, preposterous, yes. And it's really a fascinating subject, especially when you consider the fact that we know that they definitely fake some propaganda photos. From earlier, NASA had these pictures of Michael Collins,

and he was attached by wires to this thing, like doing training exercises. And all they did was take that, and they cropped him and put it in like a black background, and they said he was on a moonwalk. It's the exact photo. So we know that that was a standard practice. We know that there was at least some shenanigans going on where someone decided to take a photo and black it out. So his idea was that it's much more likely that they went

but you know first of all you're fucking if they did go there's a lot of radiation and shit you're dealing with you're telling me your your film's gonna be hunky-dory out there 250 degrees on the moon with all the fucking radiation you can't even put your your film through the the airport metal detector it gets fucked up up, especially back in 1969. And these were like regular special Hasselblad cameras that were designed for the moon landing, but they were no different than the cameras here on Earth. They weren't like super insulated or something like that. The whole thing is fascinating to me, man. I could trip on it for hours.

I wish I knew a dude who was really, really smart who didn't believe it, but I don't. Everybody that I know that doesn't believe it is only marginally smart and the really smart dudes that i know believe we went to the moon so it's a fucking it's a real tough argument right you know i think you think we win or no i don't know see it's one of them things yeah i was convinced there's days there's days when i'm like my biggest thing is like you is like why. It's like, why haven't we been back? Why haven't we been back once in 60 years? Or what is it? The 70s?

Almost 50 years. Yeah. Apparently, they were making fun of me about this on some podcast called The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe. I haven't heard it. I heard it's funny, though. And I would make fun of me, too, especially if I was a scientist and I actually knew things. especially if I was a scientist and I actually knew things. But there's certain things that I find absolutely fascinating about conspiracy theory, and the moon landing is my favorite one.

That's my number one one. JFK is mine. That's a good one too. That's a good one. And AIDS is not real. That's my other one. That's a good one too. I never heard that one. Oh, that's my other one that's a good one too i never heard that oh that's a fascinating one

that's a that's one uh by there's a guy named peter duisburg who's a biologist oh is this the dude who supposedly pricked himself with it with well i don't know about that i remember i thought i remember back in the day like some doctor actually said he had something that was supposedly aids virus and pricked himself with it. Yeah. No, I don't know if that's the same guy. This was a while back, though. I'm going to read you a quote from Bill Clinton and we can get off this moon thing. And this is one of my favorite all-time quotes that anybody's ever said in regards to a conspiracy theory.

This is Bill Clinton in his book. He wrote, just a month before, Apollo 11 astronauts Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong had left their colleague Michael Collins aboard Spaceship Columbia and had walked on the moon, beating by five months President Kennedy's goal of putting a man on the moon before the decade

was out. The old carpenter asked me if I believed it happened. I said, sure. I saw it on television, and he disagreed. He said that he didn't believe it for a minute and that them television fellers could make things look real that weren't. He goes, back then, I thought the guy was a crank. During my eight years in Washington, I saw some things on TV that made me wonder if he wasn't ahead of his time.

The fucking president said that. The fucking president said that. and all it did was leave a real vague open yeah thing that you shouldn't say that mr clinton that is not fair that's him he's having a laugh about that right now he's a troll he's taking a piss on everybody man he's a troll maybe he did that shit to sell records or to sell books, you know? Could you hear about that dude that said that Jimi Hendrix's manager killed him? Yeah. Have you heard about that?

You know that story? I think that's also another buy my book. You think so? I thought so too until I looked into it. And the way he died, he drowned in wine. They said he had nine sleeping pills in his mouth and he had swallowed them and coughed up a lot of it.

Nine sleeping pills and literally drowned in wine. That's what killed him. It's almost like he was taking in wine while he was unconscious. It's really kind of fucked up. If the manager really did kill the guy, it's absolutely fascinating. What is that video of? Bill Clinton dancing. Oh, no, it's not.

Is it really? How dare you? But this guy who was the singer from The Animals. Not to do what I have done. No. Is that his name? Eric Burden. The guy who wrote that book.

It's Eric Burden in The Animals. The original Animals is always the same guy? I'm pretty sure. That's not the guy's name. Maybe it is the guy's name. I guess we'll just have to believe it, Robin. Hold on. No, tour manager.

You're going to Google me? Rhodey. You're going to Google me? You're talking about... Hendrix murdered. Oh, there you go. That's... Nice fuzzle, sir.

Right? You got a nice fuzzle, sir. Right? There is a howl in New Orleans. They call the rising sun. I don't know that song. I just know that part. James Wright.

That's the dude's name. Really? James Tappy Wright. Maybe he wasn't the singer. Maybe he was one of the dudes in the band. Okay. I might be wrong, but the video they showed of him, it looked like he was the singer. It's pretty fucking fascinating shit, man.

But a lot of people are calling it bullshit. A lot of people are calling it bullshit, but then other people believe that it happened. One of the reasons they also believe it happened is because his manager was a notorious criminal. Apparently, Hendrix had a really scary manager, this dude named Michael Jeffrey. He even had Hendrix kidnap

once to show Hendrix how much power he had. He had these guys kidnap once to show Hendrix how much power he had. He had these guys kidnap him and hold him for three days. I was unfamiliar with all this. He saved Hendrix. He came in and saved him. And he said, like, see, see, you know, without me, you're fucked. And Hendrix's girlfriend apparently hated him.

Well, Hendrix's girlfriend was thrown off the roof of the Chelsea Hotel. She died. And Hendrix died this way. They were both dead. And there was a big life insurance policy apparently on hendrix and that's the the knock that this guy's saying he says and this guy james wright wrote a book about it you know it could be just trying to sell some books could be who the fuck knows is the manager dude still around no died died in a plane crash died in a plane crash a couple years makes me wonder though if it would have came out eventually.

Like he might have told somebody or wrote it down in his journal book. Apparently the manager was a scumbag and was always broke and always owed money and was borrowing money from the mob. And that was part of the problem was that the mob was involved in all this and he was scared to come out and talk about it. Who the fuck knows? If it's not true, fuck you in your ass with a broken bottle, you piece of shit. If you made that up, you fuckhead. Oh, that's true?

But you'd have to be a really fucked up dude to make up a story like that. Or you could be in a bad situation and just need some cash. That's the best way to sell a book. Or really have a dislike for the person you're telling the story about. Even though the dude's dead. He's been dead since like 1970-something.

I think, man, I don't know. Wish I knew. Wish I knew the dude. I fancy myself a pretty big Jimi Hendrix fan, and I'm totally unfamiliar with any of this stuff. Me too. His girlfriend getting killed and him dying. You know what I mean? We heard the legend of him dying on his own choking on his own vomit and yeah you know yeah

i uh this all started because uh i have a thread on my message board where um it's uh called the things they got wrong on the podcast because you know we're always high yeah talking shit we're often incorrect you know so i like to look at it every now and then to find maybe some shit I didn't know. But sometimes people write things, and they don't even bother Googling them. They just say, yeah, you're wrong about this. Do you even research it at all? Like he said, we were talking about Hendrix, and I'm a huge Hendrix fan. And we were talking about heroin once on the show.

And why is it so many great musicians love heroin? And all these people are like Hendrix didn't do heroin he was arrested for heroin yeah he was arrested for heroin he didn't shoot up heroin he wasn't a junkie he was snorting it yeah but I mean the crazy thing is like why would you even say that all you gotta do is just google it just google it

first are you sure you know Jimmy so well right you know but that is that's left over that's the internet the internet. The internet's going to fix that eventually but this is like some

leftover legacy shit where people can write. It should be like you know there's

spell check. There should be like reality check. Like you write something on a message board and

Wikipedia goes go fuck yourself stupid. That's not true. And it just shows you underlines this

is an incorrect statement. The internet's going to cure it just like those fuckheads in Kentucky,

those stupid kids with their photos blasted across the internet today. The internet's going to cure you all. You can't... They used to do that shit all the time in Ohio, though. Like Ohio State,

big Ohio State, Michigan games and shit like that. They would have... You would walk down the street and cars would just be on fire. There would be... People would be...

Of course. Dumpsters on fire. People would be like dumpsters on fire. And then they would bomb the whole entire neighborhood with gas. And so even in your house, you're sitting there fucking eyes watering and shit. And you just had to wrap towels around your head. In certain places, there's a lot of people with some pent-up energy. And they need to blow that shit out. And these dumb fucks have been doing it like this for so long. But now everybody with their cell phone cameras and shit you can't just i'd say it's over it's over getting away with shit is just over i mean like i don't i can't even see like don't don't get married if you plan on like being like a cheating person eventually

somebody's gonna put you on blast somebody going to take care of your business for you. Yeah. There's no. There's no. You got to be integrated today. You got to be integrated with the hive. You know. You know.

When wifey can just Google it up or who's talking in Twitter or Facebook and look in whatever. There's no privacy no more. Especially when you volunteer my information. I'm here and I'm doing this. And here's pictures from here. Right. What do you think about people that are having to give up their Facebook information to get jobs? Have you heard that? Yeah, yeah.

I've heard about it. They've got to give up their Facebook passwords. Before it even started becoming a story, I used to tell my nephews and nieces, I'd see some of the ignorant shit they'd post. And I'd be like, yo, this shit never goes away. ignorant shit they'd post and i'd be like yo this shit never goes away yeah i was like there's gonna be a time in a day when a motherfucker's gonna look to hire you and all he's gonna have to do is google this and bang all that's gonna be right in a in a pre-organized section for him i tried to get rid of my myspace i tried to go it's hard they're holding up a dear life you can't even delete them i'm serious man they were supposed to send me email instructions.

I gave them my email address. Send me email instructions how to delete. They're like, oh, it got lost in the email. You know what they're like? They're like a girlfriend from high school that's holding out. She really believes that this whole wife and kids thing, that shit ain't going to work out. She's just going to hang in there. This Facebook thing is not going to last.

Facebook is nothing. Come on. MySpace was huge two years ago. Before that, nothing. Come on. MySpace was huge two years ago. Before that, nothing. Come on. MySpace is coming back. They really want to believe. I logged in the other day.

Did you? I did too. I had a... Somebody didn't believe. I haven't even looked at it in God knows how long. I had that spat about the country music thing. I think my managers still deal with it though because there's parts of the world where I believe it's still viable.

I don't think so. Like Russia, I think, still messes with MySpace a little bit. Just to give people viruses. It's just a good distribution method for computer viruses. I went there the other day to prove that my dog's name was Johnny Cash. I knew there was a photo of him somewhere. There's something about Johnny Cash. So I had to find it.

The only place was on my MySpace. Yeah, I forgot I had a fake band on MySpace. And I found like seven songs I wrote. One was called Jiu-Jitsu, and it was all about Jiu-Jitsu. What's the fake band? It was called Java Lamps. It's still on there. Oh, that's right.

Remember MySpace? Yeah. Remember when we were going to do a MySpace for 10-foot screws? Yeah. Dude, one time we were in Denver. And it was me and my boy Eddie Bravo and my buddy Tate and Duncan and Brian, and we walked by a wig shop. We just baked fucking around, wandering through Denver. Denver's a great town.

And we see this wig shop, so we said, let's just go in and see what's up. For whatever reason, we decided to buy these big, crazy wigs. So all of them wore these wigs and we pretended to be a band and the band was called 10 Foot Screws. And this was like after my comedy show. Eddie Bravo went on stage. We introduced him as the lead singer

from 10 Foot Screws and he had the audience, you know, let me hear some noise over here. Like he would go like back and forth with them and he gave out these flyers saying that they were free tickets to the after party and made up an address like 16th Street and El Pollo Loco.

Just made up. It was like you had to think something was going on while it was happening because everybody was like, there, this is a. That's them. And they wore them for the whole weekend, man. It was a really ridiculous weekend, but there's a very funny video about it. Is that video out there? How do you find that, Brian?

It's Joe Show 7, 10-foot screws. Just Google 10-foot screws. I mean, it was some really funny shit. They had people auditioning to be in the band. Remember that dude that got him to get on his knees? I'm not doing it justice. You have to see it. You have to see the video.

I'm going to check it out. Probably wouldn't be so funny to you. For you, it's like, you know, a bunch of your friends went out and pretended to be stand-up comedians and dressed like a stand-up comedian. We've done similar shit, man. I get it, man. Life on the road, man. Yeah, it gets weird, right? Do you go, like, for long for long periods you do just weekends and

come back no i still go out for a month or two you know like you know at a time you know if i got to you know if i can do the weekend thing it's it's why the acoustic thing has been becoming kind of convenient people are digging on it and it's easy to do it's when you know i can travel quicker and move faster yeah when you say a month at a time, is there, like, is it logistically more effective to do a month at a time? Like, once you have the stuff out there, your equipment, you just keep moving it? Is that the idea? You just kind of move from one town to the next. But is it because it's too difficult to fly all the way to Chicago?

I think your stuff revolves more around weekends, you know what I mean? Like, music, I'll play Wednesday night, you know what I mean? Like music, I'll play Wednesday night. You know what I mean? I'll play Tuesday night. Right. In a town. Yeah, most comedy does revolve around weekends, but there's a lot of dudes who do like off-night gigs. I do a lot of off-night gigs for the UFC

because sometimes we'll do like a fight night and somewhere Omaha, Nebraska or some shit on a Wednesday night. So I'll have a comedy show on a Tuesday night. But, yeah, music is more of an everyday thing, you think? I guess. You know, it just seems like, you know, that's the traveling band, man. You've got to keep it moving. I mean, to keep loading and flying like a whole ton of gear just gets old, man.

It gets old. You put it in a trailer, I mean, you still got to unload and unpack. So you just drag it around. You fly it out there once, and then you drag it around in a bus, and then you bring it back. A lot of times, I just roll the bus up here to L.A. and take off from here. And so now, when you do acoustic, all you have to do is fly, right? Yeah, I can fly more. I can definitely get around easier.

Are you allowed to bring a guitar on the plane? If not, these cases are built for underneath. Really? Yeah. They can take a beating? They can take a beating. Did you ever see that video, United Airlines Breaks Guitars? Uh-uh.

I have to check that one out. You ever seen it? Uh-uh. Brian, pull that shit up on YouTube. It's kind of funny. Oh, you're going to freak me out now, huh? It's a band that made a song about it because they were fucking throwing shit around. I think I remember hearing something about this.

Yeah, it's actually not a bad song. It's not my kind of music, but when you think of the context of how this guy had to create it and then create a music video. I flew United Airlines on my way to Nebraska The plane departed Halifax Connecting in Chicago's old air

While on the ground a passenger Said from the seat behind me My God, they're throwing guitars out there The band and I exchanged a look best described as terror at the action on the tarmac and knowing whose projectiles these would

be So before I left Chicago I alerted three employees who showed complete indifference towards me. United, United, you broke my Taylor guitar. United, some hill up you are You broke and you should fix it

Your rival just admitted I should have flown with someone else Or gone by car Cause United breaks guitar How many hits does that video have? 11 million. Wow. Suck it, United.

I think if I remember correctly, they ended up paying, buying him new guitars and all this shit. Yeah, I think he wouldn't take it, though. I think he wouldn't take the money. I think they offered it to him, but he said no. He was upset that it took so much and so long for them to pay that they should have just paid him like a normal person should get paid well you think a stipulation might have been take the video down too yeah i bet it would i bet that's exactly what it was of course i wouldn't have gone for that one yeah i'd be like fuck you man one guitar bitch you know which publicity 11 million youtube hits gets right holy shit i'm

getting gigs off of that exactly well he is i never heard of the guy and it's a good i mean it's like i said it's not necessarily my kind of music but it's a good version of that kind of music he's a good artist and then i i checked out his stuff online he's like sort of like a folksy davecarolspecial.com yeah he's like a folksy type of a character that's funny have you ever you never had your shit get broken no i've had close i used to run with different cases and this actual guitar the case like had a hole punched through it and like luckily it didn't do any damage to the guitar oh damn that must have freaked you the fuck out yeah i was that's what initiated

me how old is that guitar i've had this probably about 10 12 years mother of pearl inlays in there yeah this is a john paul larrave he's like canadian company they make handmade guitars and i just love this guitar so when is how many play this i play Gibson like doves and hummingbirds too. Is it special woods? Like how many different woods are used in a guitar? I don't know dude. It's like, you know Several but I wouldn't even know they're like cars. I don't know how the hell they work. I just play them. Really drive them I just play them Um, one of the things that fascinates fascinates me the most about acoustic guitars is that it's organic Like if you're looking at that thing, that's just some lacquer or some clear finish over some beautiful natural wood.

I love that. I love that that was created by a craftsman. That's not something you could really do with just a machine and a hole punch and spit it out. That's a real piece of craftsmanship. I love this right up here. If you're going to get something on the camera. A little angel right there. Wow.

Love that. Oh, Mother of Pearl, right? Is that abalone or Mother of Pearl? Mother of Pearl. Wow, that's fucking dope. Yeah, I love it. Yeah, that's not just a musical instrument. I mean, that's a work of art.

That's a piece of artwork. I've written a lot of my songs on it. I bet you have. Let's hear another one. What do you got? Well, before I do this next one, I just want to say one of the reasons I asked you to come on this week was I made it pretty public now that my daughter was born with a disorder called cystic fibrosis.

And I'm starting to get kind of heavy on the wanting to get involved in the fundraising tip but and i'm actually getting involved with an organization called the cff foundation or the cf foundation cff.org if you need any facts about what cf is but it's like basically um a pulmonary and respiratory disorder and we where basically the cells kind of process salt wrong. And I'm no genius with this. My wife could explain it to you perfectly. But basically, you develop a much thicker mucus in your lungs than normal. And they have to, like, my daughter takes treatments to shake them loose and whatnot.

And essentially, you know, that develops over time and kind of constricts the breathing and leads to, you know, an early demise for kind of constricts the breathing and leads to you know an early demise for a lot of kids and whatnot and uh but they're doing a lot of really good breakthrough work right now like seriously like could within the next decade get a rap around this thing it's all privately funded i'm gonna be doing concerts and some other things in the future but right now we have a team i tweeted you about it and you retweeted it in the link. I'm sure you can find the link and just throw it up on the thing one more time. We're doing a little walk, you know what I mean?

Just trying to get a little kind of thing started. And, you know, this next song is kind of about learning, my wife and myself, learning about this and how we dealt with it. And it's called 65 Roses, and it's called 65 Roses because when children try to say 65 Roses, it often comes out sounding like 65 Roses. So a lot of the organizations kind of revolve around that theme, but this song is just, it seemed fitting title. It's been a bit of a while since I seen you smile It's been too long, baby, what went wrong?

Tell me how it got spoiled, tell me when it went bad And how to get back to the times that we had when we were both young and our spirits were bold now we're just angry and we act like we're old we can't even talk it out without one of us walking away when you were 18 i just turned 29 it's fresh out the coffin girl and you were 18, I just turned 29 I was fresh out the coffin, girl, and you were so fine The future was bright and the world did seem new I was with some other woman, but I was thinking of you

I knew how it hurts, I knew how it feels I knew how it aches, cause the heart never heals And we're so busy screaming, we don't hear the words that we say. We tried to see good through all of the bad Put on our smiles and pretend we're not sad We gotta be tough and we gotta be strong We gotta be right, can't afford to be wrong And it's hard to shake the blues when you're reading bad news every day We worry too much for one

couple to bear and hunger so much for one person to care we're fooling our families we're fooling our friends we pray that the pain and the frustration ends hope is a chance

hope is a dream hope is a drug maybe hope's a vaccine, hope is a drug, maybe hope's a vaccine. In a race against time, I get down on my knees and I pray. I shout at the devil and I curse the Lord. I promise them everything I can afford. I'd sell off my soul, I'd lie and deceive. I've tried to be righteous, I've tried to believe.

Pray every prayer, and kick all of my highs. For hours I stare at those beautiful eyes. All of my problems seem to be melting away. Smile on her face, says, Daddy, everything is okay.

In a race against time, I get down on my knees and I pray. That was awesome. Thank you. Wow. Brian, I thank everyone. Thank you. That's beautiful, man. How did you change from being essentially like a rap guy? You know, when you came out with House of Pain, you were like a rapper.

And then you became like this blues dude along the way. You know, I think you fucked a lot of people's heads up with that whitey ford shit you know like a lot of people didn't see that coming when you came out with what it's like a lot of people were like whoa um a lot of it had to do with uh you know a good friend just encouraging me once he heard me doing it like i used to always play guitar and stuff on just kind of on the low and heard me doing it like i used to always play guitar and stuff on just kind of on the low and write little ditties and i was recording i left house of pain and was recording with the homeboy of mine and he was helping produce the record this guy dante ross and he heard me strumming out what actually became what it's like just in his living room i was playing a guitar and he was like what is that and i and he like, we're going to record it.

And I trusted him enough to believe it. Okay, let's go for it. Wow. Did you feel like you were pigeonholed as a rapper? That people wouldn't accept it? Or were you thinking that? Well, I remember the label. The label did.

They hated it. They thought I was really fucking up. Really? Yeah. They thought I was really doing the wrong Really? Yeah. They thought I was really doing the wrong thing. Thank God they thought that. Thank God. I love when people are wrong like that.

I love it. It's poetic. And then I've just fallen in love with writing songs. I think all the time I've spent as an emcee and writing lyrics as a rapper has helped me learn how to craft words in a way that the songwriting is that much better for it. That's true because a lot of rappers, that's one thing that rappers don't get enough credit for is the complexity of their verses compared to a lot of shit that you hear from just singers and songwriters.

Yeah, like that entire song I just did, a rapper might use that many words in a one verse yeah you know i mean you can't not always well but what i'm saying is you have to learn to use the words and use a lot of them and some not always well but like look at nas you know like and when you can be even more selective about how many words it becomes easier in a sort in a sense like oh i can choose less words and say more because i'm singing and i'm playing this tune with it you know yeah that's a that's an interesting place to come from if you really think about it that way because yeah there's so many more words

in a rap song like i said especially not in us like a soldier boy song do you consider that rap what a soldier boy it's like you know the things things I'm familiar with about him are just kind of like chants. Right. More than anything. Yeah. It's funny how shit goes, you know, like that gets stuck in the rap genre, though. But I mean, Lil Jon made a career doing that. Yeah.

He wasn't a rap rapper. Right. He'd like come up with good catch little phrases and have like eight of them on a song. You know what I mean? And that would be it. People scream out when they're drunk in a club. Motherers in here getting hype motherfuckers in here getting hype yeah you have a whole song like that you know i mean yeah hate if you want on soldier boy but there's cats that have been doing it before him you know right so what did the label get money

anybody gets money good for you get money get money what did uh what did the label say they couldn't say much i was luckily a kind of a big fish on a small label you know did anybody pull you aside and go you're fucking up kid no yeah they didn't they didn't pull me aside they told me blatantly what they thought like what were the words what they chose we don't think we think you need to choose whether you're a rapper or a singer you know or it's two projects. They didn't think it was one project. That's hilarious. Because I was doing this, like, what had happened was I went to New York and was doing, I quit House of Pain, basically, and thought I was over.

I was just like, music's over now. I mean, really? Come on, what am I going to do now? I just was kind of down, and my buddy called me and said, screw everything, to hell with labels and whatnot. Come to New York and make some music. And I went out there strictly to make a hip-hop record, so I made all these hip-hop songs.

All the hip-hop songs on that Whitey Force record were done first. They were done. And then the other stuff started happening, and we were just like, just between me and Jante, we kind of were like, this could work. If we piece it together right, it makes kind of sense, you know, and just made sense to us. Yeah, I remember I heard what it's like, and I went, whoa,

look at this motherfucker. Yeah. You took a crazy chance. God, it was the best shit you did. Even though I'm a huge House of Pain fan, I love that, but I like your singing better, man. I mean, Jump Around's an all-time classic period always will be the louis louis of the 90s when marcus davis used to fight in the ufc was one

of the things i loved you'd come out to jump around with a fucking kilt on you know some other dudes need to come out to that man that's a that's a hype up fight music we need some more irish fighters i remember the the one that you teamed up with santana uh what or what's it called put your lights on that was one of my favorite jams back in the day and that's what really made me go fuck yeah he you're you're legit that was that was a good hookup how did you i mean did you how did you meet how did that ever come across that was kind of crazy because uh basically what happened is I recorded that whole YD-4 record. Then this heart thing happened.

And I wound up getting surgery, like emergency surgery, and woke up from it. And found out that I had canceled my medical insurance because my accountant at the time had ripped me off for a couple hundred grand in taxes. So I woke up from heart surgery with house like basically on the blocks and the government calling me for money and i was in my house it was in laurel canyon in uh mount olympus and uh it was on the hill you could see the whole city and the house was empty except for me in a chair and i was moving into a little apartment. Like, it was get humble time. But I was spending the last night in this house, like, looking out as the sun was going down.

And I had a guitar, and I started writing a song. That's what that's saying. Hey, now, all you sinners, the lights were going. The sun was going down on the city, and all the lights of the city were coming on. That's awesome. And it was like, hey, now, all you send is put your lights on the craziest thing is i just told this story at one of these acoustic things it's something that kind of i realized recently that i never really talk about much but like when i was in the hospital after this surgery like i i think hospitals kill

more people than anything from my experience as much as the surgeon saved my life and his technique and all that, the hospital damn near killed me. What do you mean? You don't rest in a hospital. They tell you get rest and all this, but every other minute somebody's coming in and sticking a needle in you. And even in a great hospital, I was in a great hospital. It was probably one of the best hospitals in the world. It's still, like, it's not nurses that do these things anymore. There's, like, sub.

Sub. Subnurses, like, helpers, assistants. That's all they do is come and take blood from everybody. He goes around with his tray, everything. But you're always getting poked and prodded, and they're doing something to you and not telling you what it is. And, like, I didn't even get explained about the thing ticking in my chest But you're always getting poked and prodded, and they're doing something to you and not telling you what it is. And, like, I didn't even get explained about the thing ticking in my chest until, like, two days after I woke up.

Like, I was going nuts from hearing the sound. I think I told this story last time about a telltale heart. I was like, I went nuts. But basically, there's— So you hear that all day? All day. It's like white noise to me now, but, yeah, I can take my pulse just— Put that shit up to the mic again. people who haven't heard this need to hear this that's so crazy wow that's that's real shit right so one of the nights like i was only i only stayed

there like six days i was supposed to be there like a couple weeks but like they let me go home because i was gonna i was losing it i was gonna die because nobody will let you sleep it would it just wouldn't let me rest and i was losing i thought i just i was convinced i was gonna die in the hospital basically wow but the night before they let me go i was losing it i mean like that kind of tears where they're just coming out of your eyes and a woman came in this nurse and like was the first person actually just touched me with some just humanity and care and be like oh it's all right it's all right it's all right and so i was and it soothed me enough that i fell asleep woke up the next day i was able to get out of the hospital i got home wow a couple weeks later when

i was feeling up to it i was i was like i want to go back and thank this nurse you know i mean let's you know i made my people take me to the hospital because I was still walking around frail. Can I guess something? Can I guess something? This person. She didn't exist. Didn't exist. Didn't exist.

How did you know that, Joe? You are the guy, the angel. I knew by the way you said it. The way you said it was setting up a ghost story. Well, I mean, it's about the song. There's an angel. There's a monster sitting under my bed. That was the noise of me.

Of me. What is this? This is what he's talking. That was the noise of the heart of death. And then the angel with her hand on my head was the woman. This is a great fucking song. Turn that shit up. That's sick.

Busy darkness Living deep in my soul Still got a purpose to serve So let your light shine Deep into my home Damn, my hair was black. Yeah, it was. Isn't that crazy when you see yourself? It's white now.

Weird seeing yourself age, isn't it? Dude, that is a beautiful song. That's crazy, man. Look, I'm going to give folks, look, yeah, that shit is white now. Wow, that's crazy. It's nuts seeing that song. Yeah, I constantly have to dye my hair. And that's what my kitchen just looks like,

fucking like where you splatter a little bit on your toilet or on your wall. And so now it just looks like there's blood everywhere in my bathroom. I just got to own it, man. I can't just ferment it, man. I mean, what am I going to do with the beard, man? Right. Yeah, a lot of dudes do the beard, too. Wifey likes it anyways, man.

Wifey likes it. A lot of guys get in there with a brush and do the whole beard. I'm going to own it. I'm going to own it. I earned every one of these, man. Indeed. Indeed. And I ain't old.

I'm 42. This is like, remember, I've had heart surgeries. I've lived eight lives so far, man. I'm good. Hearing that song, knowing that that story it makes it so much different it's amazing it's amazing how much it fires you up dude you were that that's that is the root of all fucking brilliance and creativity is a man with his back pushed against the wall who just fires back that's the best shit that's the rough time think about how good that goddamn

song is one of your best songs ever i mean you got a lot of great fucking songs but that's one, you got a lot of great fucking songs, but that's an all-timer, bro. That's an all-timer. And when you think about where it came from, you know? Do you ever work with Santana anymore? I haven't heard from him quite a while. Boy, how dumb does your old label feel? Stupid motherfuckers. Well, they're not in business anymore.

I know, but whoever the asshole was that actually said to you it was a bad idea, when that song came out, boy, did that dude feel stupid. Yeah, that record sold a lot of records, man. Is that guy still in the music business, that fucking dummy that gave you shitty advice? No, not really. It's always amazing when someone who's not a... He's on some real Deepak Chopra type shit now. Oh.

Yeah, he's turned into one of the... I mean, I made him a good $40 million, man, now. Oh. He's turned into one of those. I made him a good $40 million, man. Whoa. That's a lot of money. You sell a guy for $4 million records. That's not counting the House of Pain records. That's another probably $3 or $4 million records. That's a lot of records, son.

That's pretty good. There's people who sold a lot more, but I ain't mad. I ain't sneezing at it. Yeah, you don't want to be number one, man. You just want to be able to buy those Audis and just chill around. I like my life. I always tell people I like that the music is more famous than my face, man. I really

do. Fuck yeah. That's what I say about Steve. What's his name? Because I'm going to the Olive Bar right at the Ralph's down the street after this and get me some olives and some crackers and like nobody will bother me. Yeah, you can sneak

Steve Miller. Nobody knows what Steve Miller looks like. Not a person alive that knows what Steve Miller looks like. That guy could be anywhere. Mick Jagger can't go anywhere.

You know? Not that Steve Miller would ever reach the status of the Rolling Stones but pretty goddamn successful. You know? I ain't mad. I ain't mad i ain't mad do you really hang out at the olive bar in burbank i don't hang out not not the olive garden

the olive bar at ralph's like that where you have all the exotic olives oh okay i get all i like you heard olive garden you just heard olives i said olive no no no no there's a olive uh there's an olive bar also like just a place that's an olive bar? Yeah. Oh, it's called the Olive Bar. It's Olive and Thyme, actually. But I always call it the Olive Bar. Oh, oh, oh.

It's a restaurant bar that's in Toluca Lake, but it's called the Olive Bar. It's all into olives and stuff? It's got everything. It's like a little Whole Foods mixed with a bar. I might have to go check that out. Whole Foods and a bar together. But it's a restaurant. Like that kind of food.

You know that. It's a good place Like that kind of food. You know that. It's a good place to pick up vegan chicks. Oh, that's where all the actresses hang out and just fucking sit there and eat healthy. I'm into Dabouli. What's up? I'm into olives, man. I like olives, dude. Yeah.

What's that about? I don't know. I fucking hate olives. It tastes good, dude. Olives are disgusting. Really? It's funny. I love the olive, but I hate olives.

Why do you hate olives? They're gross. Olive oil is fantastic for you. Did you always like olives? Did you guys always? I think that's one of those things that come later in your life where you start liking olives or something. No. No, my dad liked them when I was young.

I think I just, you know. I like a lot of weird shit, though. I like sardines. Gross. I don't like sardines. I like anchovies. Nah. No?

I like them, like, you know, crushed into, like, flavors. I couldn't eat just an anchovy, though. Like, I'm not opposed to some of those things used as ingredients and other things. I'll eat a half a pound of anchovies in a sitting. Wow. Wow. Will you put it on, like, a big just hunk of bread and make a sandwich out of it? Sure.

Fuck yeah. He had doctor's orders to stop. Faces and eyes and all? I couldn't eat. They told me to stop eating sardines because I had arsenic poison. Wow. Because I was eating so many sardines because I had arsenic poison. Wow. Because I was eating so many sardines. Sardines are just dirty bitches.

You know that's in apple juice too? Yeah. Like apple juice and grape juice. Yeah, I was like, I was talking to my wife, why don't we ever give her apple juice? And it's like, because there's arsenic in it.

And she Googled it up and showed me grape juice and apple juice. Wow. It's the metals, the heavy metals, it's pollution. That's how the sardines absorb it. That's where the flavor comes from now.

The pollution. Yeah, if you think about what lobsters are, man, lobsters are the dirtiest bottom feeders of all time. They taste good. Delicious. Shrimp too. Yeah, exactly. Do you know they used to be like in New York,

lobsters were like poor people food. It's like they were so common, they used to get them out of the Hudson River way back in the day, and they would serve them at bars. That's the big thing that people would serve. Like peanuts? Well, it would be like normal bar food. Instead of a burger, you'd get a lobster. It was like poor people food.

Easy to cook, they'd throw it in boiling water, people would crack it open and eat it. Well, fuck, look at wood floors. That used to be for poor people. You had carpet if you had money. And now I'm ripping out carpet and seeing this wood floor that just has glue and fucking hammers and staples in it. They don't give a shit.

Because back then they were like, fuck. What's that? Carpet is nasty. It's like never changing your fucking clothes. I mean, that's one of the things about, I'm living with this cystic fibrosis thing is we have to be ready. She can't get a cold.

I have a two-and-a-half-year-old daughter who's never had a sniffle. Think about that. You have kids. Do you monitor their diet? Oh, well, you have to. I mean, actually, no, no, no. With cystic fibrosis, it's a constant struggle to keep weight on them. So you're fattening.

You're loading up fats and real and stuff like that yeah it's it's absolutely our daughter is like actually that's her only thing she's struggling with is a little bit of weight we're trying to get you know but she's like that stage where she just so two and a half rambunctious yeah and her appetite just isn't huge it's like we have you know it's a constant battle to try and get so get the her. Do you have specific high-caloric foods that you serve her? We just load a lot of things up with extra butters and olive oils. My wife is constantly – we have two different things, like what we eat and what she eats. She gets the full fat of everything with the highest calories, and we try and eat more of a lower fat.

You serve her Kobe beef and stuff along those lines? Well, she's starting to. For a while, she would only eat like two things, man. Macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets. And now she's starting to develop actually tastes for other things. Like it's like a brilliant day when we can get her to eat a burrito. And she's like, ah, likes it. And like, you know, get these new things.

Because she's starting to get more interested in food, hopefully. What are the treatments? What do they do? Right now, she's starting to get more interested in food, hopefully. What are the treatments? What do they do? Right now, she's doing very well. She has no mucus in her lungs. Her lungs are functioning at 99.9 plus percentage, which is awesome. But she still, we put her in a vest that hooks to a compressor that basically just kind of violently shakes her,

you know, and basically what the premise of that is, when the mucus does form in these, you know, people's lungs, it shakes it loose so they can expectorate it a lot easier. Oh, wow. But besides that, she does a little albuterol, like, you know, kind of like, you know, same as kind of asthma right now. For us, it's all preventative at the moment. Our biggest struggle, like I said, is just keeping weight on her.

Just getting her to gain and gain. She's very tall for her age, but she's very thin. She needs to be heavier because it will help the lung development develop that much healthier. Brian, your friend MC Chris also was involved in helping. Yeah, I've been getting a lot of messages about me and this dude should link up somehow. Yeah, Brian, he's a great guy. And Brian just did a podcast with him. And tell me, what did he say, Brian, about cystic fibrosis?

I know that he's amazing. I believe it's his niece has it. And so for the longest time, he's been doing these shows, and he's been doing eBay auctions and stuff. And if you go to his website also, he has ways that you can help the cause. And I asked him the other day how much he's raising. I mean, he's just a white rapper, nerd rapper. And he's almost, I think he said almost $100,000.

Yeah, he said $90,000. I listened to that part of your podcast. And what was the name of that podcast again? What do you call it? We haven't made a name of it. We're thinking Muff Said. So how do people find it on Death Squad? It's going to be released on Death Squad in the next couple of days.

Oh, so you haven't even named it yet. No, we were asking in the actual episode what we should name it. And there's a lot of weird things. But what it is, it's comic books. With me and Ryan Keeley talking with comic books. We it is it's comic books with me and Ryan Keeley talking with comic books we had a guy that worked at Marvel

and DC Ryan Keeley is a porn star yeah Penthouse Pet did you know this the artist we had he works on both Marvel and DC at the same time and he does like Conan

and Batman that's awesome and stuff like that he's badass but we're gonna what's his name shit you caught me off guard Dan

he does this thing called drink drink and draw which is a new thing that with uh draw something it's a really popular app that's on the iphone but he has been doing it at bars where you just go and you just hang out with a bunch of people and you all just get drunk and draw at the same time and now they have it citywide where like these guys just like meet up and like these artists and they just sit there and meet each other and then they hang out and start drawing shit you know they draw on on an iphone oh no no the iphone is just an app to get them together no no but but with the popularity of

that that's something that he's been doing what i was saying is that there's a popular app right now that you're pretty much playing win lose or draw with each other and that's so big right now but he's been doing it yeah it's was that pretty lame you know it's just there's it's so big right now. But he's been doing it. It's pretty lame, too. Yeah, was that pretty lame? Pretty lame. It's so buggy. It doesn't seem like they're finished with it. I'm still not sure. There's like eight words on there.

Yeah, I know. It's like eight words. I'm confused. So he's organized something where they get together and they draw? Yeah, like there's a lot of cities that are doing this where you go to these bars and just hang. His name's Dan. He's Urban Barbarian at Twitter.

It's called Drink or Draw. And it's just cool. You just hang out and get drunk and meet people and you draw. And sometimes you have little missions and stuff. I'm not really sure how it works. I haven't done it yet. So everybody goes to a bar and they just bring paper? Yeah.

And they just start drawing? Yeah, and they start drawing. And it's really cool. If you go to his Twitter page, he has a bunch of shit. Like, here, let me show you something he's done, like a Batman drawing that he's done. It's going to blow your mind how good these guys are. It sounds like it would be hard to find so many people

that are really into drawing to get together at a bar. Are there that many people that good at it? Yeah, drawing is hard, man. Well, it's gotten so big that it's actually in multiple cities now. It's actually catching on pretty big. It's like cartooning karaoke or something. Yeah, exactly. That's funny.

That's a really good way of putting it. Here's his website. Check out this drawing he just did the other day, a drinker draw of The Dark Knight, you know? Yeah, that's some shit I did when I was 15. It's crazy. I used to do that kind of shit. Yeah, imagine doing that, getting drunk. Well, you're obviously not going to do it

but i would do it i still draw dude i just draw a lot that's pretty good he's very good obviously yeah but no i mean if i was into comic book art if i was like really into drawing it'd be a fun fucking thing to do i'm sure i mean a lot of people find going out and just hanging out with people that's pretty cool a lot of people find going out and going to bars like oftentimes it's pretty fucking boring and this guy's a huge fan of uh the joe rogan rogan podcast he he was a big fan he was so happy to be here at the studio and he's a big mma fan uh but we had him and mc chris on the show it's uh going to be released next day or two and it's uh probably called something like the warp zone or muff set or something so your boy needs to get at me too oh yeah yeah what is that uh what's that one image that you were just showing the one down right yeah right there you just had the cursor yeah what is that uh this is it looks like see

urban barbarian he's got like a like a liquor bottle that says urban that's that's his twitter name he just tagged it but he does if you go to his website, here's one he did of Mad Men. He's done a lot of video game covers. He's also done a lot of different random things, also like movie posters and shit like that. He's talented as fuck. I used to love comic books, man, but I've tried getting into them as an adult for whatever reason. I just can't. Well, I tell you, The Walking Dead one's pretty fucking good. That's what I hear.

I just can't get myself to the store to buy it. You know what I did, though? I did get an app on, I wonder if I can get the Walking Dead on my iPad. You can. Can you? That's how I read it. Motherfuckers. Oh, by the way, I got the new iPad.

You're going to get me now. Got the new iPad 3 over here. Did you? How dare you? What are you doing with that? You're fucking making a lot of sound there, fella. Because I wanted the 4G hotspot. making a lot of sound there because i wanted the uh the 4g hotspot and what's crazy is is that i i did a speed test on it and it was actually uh faster than the the 120 internet that i have

here at the studio uh the speed what was quicker on my ipad than it was how's that possible like charter business grade uh internet i don't know who's your i've your i got the verizon uh ipad yeah the verizon so right now i'm on lte network is what it says on there and i have a digital hot spot and now i could have all my shit on that of course you're paying for the bandwidth so they don't have like unlimited bandwidth yeah i have a card that's a verizon card i did that on on tour with the with the iphone sometimes i would just make my own little hotspot. They kill you after a couple days of that. They start hollering messages at you. Oh, yeah.

You're going over. Right. It's amazing how little bandwidth you can actually use. I got a 4G card. I put it in my laptop. I downloaded one movie, and it said I'd use 75% of my bandwidth for the month. Oh, so they send you messages. Yeah.

Yeah, the secret is just don't do videos. But if you do anything else but videos, you should be you know like like even youtube videos just wait till you get home because you're gonna just kill i bet your upstream is not as good though right my upstream my upstream was faster than the charter here really it was on a i have a screenshot of it right now i could tweet i'll tweet it later but that's incredible yeah so you're really happy with that yeah it's called the screen resolution i didn't think I was going to notice a huge difference because this is the Retina display and stuff like that. It's totally noticeable.

When I hold up both my iPad 2 and the iPad 3 together, it's night and day difference. So that was bigger than I thought it was. Speed-wise, I don't really notice any kind of speed difference. It's not overheating. A lot of reports have been saying that the new ipad's overheating because it's got like so many dual processors and the retina display and and all this shit but haven't had any problems with put it right over your dick and go scrolling yeah

that's what happens right they get hot yeah kill your sperm and you know that you know there's a a big thing that a lot of people don't talk about is generic batteries exploding and i didn't know about this uh until i went on amazon and the if you looked at some of the comments if you like buy a generic camera for a camcorder you know instead of battery for battery uh these cheaply made batteries explode all the time really somebody even like like commented me on at uh something i was talking about in the past like dude don't buy the cheap version of this look what happened to me and he showed his pictures of his bed where he was in his bed with his laptop and he had a generic battery in it and it blew up in his in his bed and it's just blackness all around his pillow and i'm like holy shit that actually happened to you and he goes yeah dude don't buy the gen don't

buy that generic shit yeah they do blow up man you'll hear about batteries blowing up it was actually a case for your iphone i'm sorry not a laptop it was a one of those battery extended battery cases and i was gonna buy the mofi one and then he's like but then i was like well i could save 50 if i buy this generic one he's like don't buy that shit i actually was rocking that mofi one for a while i'm broke i gotta send it back did it really yep what happened stop working just stopped working and drop it a few times no No, never dropped it or anything. But if you look at the comments, that's one of the biggest things for those Mophie cases. It's like the thing breaks off where you have to charge it or it stopped working.

It's not that durable? It's not that durable. Have you seen that new phone? It's called the Galaxy Note. It's 5.3 inches. It's like this fucking bit. It's enormous. It's a cross between bit. It's enormous. It's like it's a cross between like a tablet and a phone.

They're coming out with another iPad supposedly that's going to be like that, like a smaller version, like a seven inch version. Really? But it's not a phone. No, no, no. Like a nano. This is a phone. And this has a stylus and you could write on photos.

You can write like I'm with stupid and put an arrow and then put that shit up on Twitter. I mean, you write on the photo. You take a photo with it. It's like an eight minute on the iPad. I can do that on my iPhone right now. You write on the photo. You take a photo with it. It's like an 8-minute picture. I can do that on my iPhone right now. You can? You can write scribble on it? Man, I'm a killer on the iPhone, dude. What do you write with? You can use a lot of different programs.

The one I use on the iPad for doing that exact same thing is called Pen... Hold on, let me look at it. Do you use a stylus? Do you use your finger? I have a stylus, but I never use it. Do you use your Cokelus? Do you use your finger? I have a stylus, but I never use it. Do you use your Coke fingernail? It's called pinual to mate or something like that. And there's also one color box HD, which is my new favorite drawing.

Oh, so you can do the same thing. It just won't happen. Yeah, you just take a photo or take it from your library, throw it on there, tweet it. Some dude brought it to Louisville, and I swear, for two whole seconds, I really thought I was on acid. The guy had this camera, and he was coming at me with this phone. And I'm like, that's not a tablet.

And that's not a camera. And that's not a phone. What the fuck is that? Like, I really thought I was on acid. The phone was so big. I was like, this is beyond the looking glass. I'm Alice in Wonderland. You know, I'm like looking at a table

that's the size of the moon. I was looking at this thing. I was like, that can't be real. I think the ipad or the iphone 5 when it gets announced probably in june or or so i think that's going to be something similar to that where it's maybe not that big but i really think that it's probably going to be from wall to wall screen maybe a teeny bit bigger and skinny because maybe somebody had like the size of this the way it is i mean not a whole lot of people complain except people that are really

into media applications. And you can always get an Android, man. Right. I'll tell you, though, that new ice cream sandwich, the new operating system on Android is pretty fucking dope, dude. It's pretty wild. There's more people using Androids now than are even using iPhones. But I think the app market's not as big.

And the malware market is through the roof. Way more fake shit and malware and viruses and nonsense for Androids. I have a buddy who posted something on Instagram because they apparently just let Android join Instagram. Right. And he posted a picture. He's like, here's for all you Android users. And it was a toilet with a bunch of gold fixtures. That was pretty funny. A toilet with a bunch of gold fixtures? Yeah, here's a toilet with a bunch of gold fixtures. That was pretty funny.

A toilet with a bunch of gold fixtures? Yeah, here's a toilet with a bunch of gold fixtures for all you Android users. I don't get it. Android's a toilet with a bunch of gold fixtures. Oh, I see what you're saying. I thought it was funny. I rock an iPhone because I like the lenses my buddy invented. Oh, yeah, show him this.

He was showing me this, and I'm going to freak the fuck out. I need to get one of these. A friend of mine's father apparently invented this thing called iPro lens. It's this case. It starts with a case and has this handle that you can kind of make into almost a steadicam

kind of thing. What? You just screw on there, but then there's a wide angle and a fisheye lens built into the handle that you can pull out that is like there's two of them take my word for it you just pull it off you snap it on and now you got a crazy fisheye lens yeah we're we're taking pictures earlier uh with it and it's perfect like the quality lenses actually i was i always saw those but anything would actually be real had one of those. It's his buddy's dad. It's both a mutual friend of ours.

You got the deluxe model with the handle and shit. His didn't have the handle. He probably just doesn't use it. I'm always on the camera running around doing stuff for Instagram. You're addicted to Instagram, aren't you? I love it. I just signed up today. Keeps me out of trouble, man.

Yeah, just today signed up. Doing all kinds of edits. OG Everlast on both Twitter and Instagram. Come just signed up today. Keeps me out of trouble, man. Yeah, just today signed up. Doing all kinds of edits. OG Everlast on both Twitter and Instagram. Come holler at me. Joe Rogan experience on Instagram as of today. Here's the question. Your picture, by the way, the first photo I ever uploaded on Instagram, the one I took today. Oh, is that right?

In this studio, goddamn history was... Well, you need to attach my name to that, man. I need to attach to it. OG Everlast. I don't know how to use Instagram yet. In the comments, just put at OG Everlast. I'm a noob. I just don't understand what the deal is with that.

And then I'll follow you right back. I think I did put that actually in the comments. For the Twitter? Yeah. For Twitter. Do I have to do it? Show up on both. No, it'll show up on both.

Because my name's that on both. Oh, there you go. Well, then it happened. It already went down. You want to do one more song? We'll get the fuck out of here? We could do one more song, man. Let's do one more song.

I hope we ain't boring your people too much. People love this shit. A lot of positive feedback right now. First, you know what? You put that in the air and let me take a rag off of that motherfucker right there and I'm going to make it happen. I'm going to go classic on you. He is now eating sugar cookies. Joey busted out a thing of sugar cookies.

Yeah, I'll have eating sugar cookies. Joey busted out a thing of sugar cookies. Yeah, I'll have some sugar cookies. Are we live here? Yeah, yeah, we're live. Here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only OG Everlast. Oh, yeah. I've seen men at liquor stores begging for you to change The hair on his face is dirty, dreaded, locked down, full of mange Yes, a man with a word man what a despair shaving his eyes get a job you fucking slobs out here play god forbid you ever had a wall mowing his shoes Cause he really mind what it's like

to sing the blues And he really mind what it's like And he really mind what it's like And he really mind what it's like And he really mind what it's like And they really mind what it's like

Mary got pregnant by a kid named Tom, told he was in love Said, would I think, babe, that I may have been dreaming of But three months later, she said one day to all return her call She swear, God damn it, if I find that man cutting off his ball And then she'd hear from her clinic She'd get some static walking through the door

And get a call of a killer A call of a sinner A call of a whore God forbid you ever had a wall mount in his shoes Cause he really mightn't would he like to have the choose And he really mightn't would he like

And he really mightn't would he like And he really mightn't would he like It ain't really my goodest life It ain't really my goodest life Seen a rich man beg, seen a good man sin, seen a tough man cry Seen a loser win, a sad man man grin hurt an honest man lie seen the good side of bad the damn side of everything between licked a silver spoon

drank from the golden cup smoked the finest green stoked the baddest dimes at least a couple of times before broke their heart you know where it is it usually depends Stoked baddest dimes at least a couple of times for a broke day hard. You know where it ends, it usually depends on where you start. There was a kid named Max, he used to get fat snacks on the corner with drugs He liked to hang out late, liked to get shit face, keep him paced with thugs

Till late one night, there was a big gunfight and Max had lost his head He pulled out his chrome 45, talked some shit and wound up dead Now his wife and his kid are in the midst of all this pain You know coming out of it that's what they say when you play the game

God forbid you ever had to walk up and hear that news This ain't really mine God forbid you ever had to walk up and hear that news Cause they really mind what it's like to have to lose And they really mind what it's like They really mind what it's like And they really mind what it's

like I don't really mind what it's like Powerful Everlast, dude.

That was awesome, man. Thank you very much for coming out. My pleasure. Anytime, dog. I'll come back every week, dog. This is too much fun. Dude, you're the best, man. Having you very much for coming out. My pleasure. Anytime, dog. I'll come back every week, dog. This is too much fun. Dude, you're the best, man. Having you on is so much fun.

It's so cool. Do you want to be roommates? I think he's got a bromance going. You know, we've got to do the bromance, dude. Put the wings on it, though. Put the wings on it. Dude, we could totally do this way more often. People love you.

I love you. I'm so happy. Yeah, man. A lot of love came through the podcast, man. And, you know, if you got an extra buck, if you don't, it's all good. Yeah, tell people how to do this again. I don't know the link offhand, but I just hope that y'all will tweet it out again. It's cff.org.

There's Great Strides is the name of the organization. We're the Schrodinger family team. CFF. Yeah, CFF. That's, you know, we were trying to get our team, obviously, the donations. But even if, you know, if you just sent them a donation, that's fine, too. But, you know, this is a little walk we sponsor every year. And, you know, we like doing it.

And like I said, I'm going to be hitting you up and a lot of other cats, you know, in the future. We're going to try to put together some events and really do some. I'll do anything. Get this thing wiped out in the next five years, and then we'll move on to the next thing. And this is all, a lot of this is privately financed? Yeah, there's no government funding whatsoever for it, man. It's complete private donations. And it's also ranked, like, as one of the top charities in the world as far as, like, it's the high 80th percentile on how much of every dollar gets into the researcher's actual hands.

Does it, when you are so closely, you know, you're so closely involved with something like this, does this drive you crazy when you see, like, that Coney shit? Like, you know, when you see that? No, no, because, you know, I mean, it's not a horrible thing for everybody to jump on the bandwagon of. You know what I mean? The back dyscystic fibrosis is such a rare, like, thing. You know what I mean? It's like in order for my daughter to have it, both I and my wife had to be, quote, unquote, carriers of this. We had no idea because I've looked back through generations of my family and generations of hers.

It has to be both. It has to be both it has to be both if there's one of us that didn't it will it would and you know there's if i have more children there's a one in four chance that that child will have cystic fibrosis so that's a that's a whole nother thing but no it doesn't bother me i mean there's room for every you know everything needs help i mean like honestly i meant the scandal involving the call the dude the guy who ripped off a lot of people? Oh, no. Apparently a huge percentage of the money went to him and his organization.

Is that why they found him naked in the street? He was crazy. Yeah, yeah. Crazy. That's a shame. That's a shame. That is a shame. But my attitude in general is like, look, man, this is my priority.

I don't expect a guy out there who maybe he might be dealing with a child with something else, cancer or Down syndrome. I expect them to. I'm doing my part, and I'm saying, hey, if you got an extra 50 cents and me singing five songs for you today maybe touched you a little something. Just the other day from throwing it out on Twitter, a couple thousand dollars from complete strangers. And there was a lot of $1. And you know what?

Don't think that doesn't make a difference. That's appreciated. I know how hard times are. That $1, that means not even more. There's people who get $500. I was tripping. I was like, these are strangers, man. And I even wrote on Twitter, the kindness of strangers is overwhelming.

It's beautiful. And it makes them feel so good, too. People don't know if they've never donated something like that. But if you really want to, this is something we could, I honestly believe, and there's things going on right now, this thing can be, it's a genetic disorder, so technically you can't really, all you can do is treat it, but they can treat it to the point where it's nullified. And that can happen in our lifetime and these kids won't be dying in their 30s.

Up until recently, the median lifespan is 35. And that's what I read instantly when my child was diagnosed. But it's changing every day right now because the science every day is getting so much better. So we don't know now because we haven't seen what these effects have had on these youngsters, man. So I guarantee you the lifespan is already being increased daily. The lifespan is already being increased daily. But this thing could be put to bed, honestly, within the next 10 years if the right money and the right things are found. And it's one of them things that's one of them.

It's such a complex genetic thing. I'm not going to try and tell you details about it because I'll sound like a moron. But it's one of them things that attracts the most brilliant minds. It's one of them puzzles that the most brilliant dudes want to figure out as far as in the medical fields. you get the cream of the crop and like i said cff.org is one of the organizations like 80 85 to 89 percent of every dollar is getting to the researchers it's not it's not getting chopped up and you know they they're documented as one of the best charities in that sense that's beautiful cff.org folks we're gonna put this on great

you know there's walks all over the country too you could start your own team and and charities in that sense. That's beautiful. CFF.org, folks. We're going to put this on Twitter, too. Great strides, you know. There's walks all over the country, too. You can start your own team and raise your own bread if anybody feels like doing it. We're going to have concerts, and we're going to do all kinds of things, but right now we're sponsoring this walk. Okay. I'm in.

CFF.org, folks. We're going to put it on Twitter, too, if you forget it from today, if you're listening to cars. We'll put a direct link to the Schrody family team so you can dedicate it or like, you know, in the name of Layla, our beautiful, healthy, so far young daughter and hope to keep her that way. Yes, we'll throw that up on Twitter and we'll get as many people. And thanks for all the love, man.

Literally, last time I came on, I got more love. I've never, I've done a lot of shows. I've done a lot of things, dude. I've never seen the reaction I saw coming on this show I've done a lot of things, dude. I've never seen the reaction I saw coming on this show. This is a beautiful group of people out there, man. A beautiful group of people

that have tuned into this show. And I don't, you know, I don't know how it all happened, but I feel very, very fortunate. I think Brian feels the same. You know, it might have something to do with all those cookies.

Sugar cookies, man. Sugar cookies. Those sugar cookies are a motherfucker, man. I'm telling you. We're trying real hard to tune into it. We're trying real hard

to tune into it and we want everybody else to tune into it too. Together, I believe that we can truly be a better group of human beings. All of us can. Absolutely.

We inspire each other. We push each other forward and if you get enough people that think a certain way, you don't lose hope. You do know that there's people out there that got it wrong, but there's also people out there that got it right. You could find them. You could live your life like a goddamn episode of Nancy Grace and only look for the shittiest things every goddamn day.

And really freak yourself the fuck out. And that's true and real. Or you could live your life in a positive way. We need to pool together a lot of money man and make a network and just have it be the good news network yeah no shit i bet you would be a huge freaking success man yeah exactly we we have seven billion people on this planet we concentrate on the most horrific thing there's a lot of good news man you wouldn't know it you're right you're right and that would that would feel good news how would you if you came home from the end of the day day, wouldn't you just be glad to be like, let me just see some good shit happening in the world.

Turn that on. Watch it for 45 minutes. Exactly. We were constantly afraid of danger. We have information that's coming to us from places where we'll never physically be. And yet we'll still worry about it. And I bet you there's good news from those places, too, that we're not being told. I bet, yeah.

Motherfuckers, keep this in the dark. Right. Hey, Joe, can I say real quick? Me and Joey Diaz are doing a short little Midwest tour. Yeah, when is that? It's now on sale. It's May 17th. We'll be in Columbus, Ohio.

May 18th, we'll be in Cleveland, Ohio. May 19th, we'll be in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Go to DeathSquad.tv. Right at the top, it says Death Squad Mini Tour for all the links of the tickets. Me and Joey Diaz. That's awesome. This is your first time on the road with a comic like Joey, too. Just you and Joey.

Just me and Joey. Wow. How much time are you going to do? Like 15, 20. And then Joey's going to just go off for an hour and a half. Yeah. Get Joey a lot of those little five-hour energy drinks. He loves those.

Yeah. Wow. That's going to be fun. So what are the places? It's on Death Squad TV? Yeah, DeathSquad.TV. We're playing the Woodlands Tavern, the Grog Shop, and the Mullins in Pittsburgh. Oh, so you're doing bars? It's like Doug Stanhope style.

We're doing small music venues and stuff. Man, that's bold stuff, dude. That's brave stuff. It's going to be fun. You're going to have a good time. Where was I? I was on tour. We were somewhere, and we went to a restaurant, and it was like, you. That's brave stuff, dude. It's going to be fun. You're going to have a good time. Where was I? I was on tour. We were somewhere.

And we went to a restaurant. And it was like, you know, had a half a bar. Like, we were in a really good restaurant, too. I think it was in Chicago, an Italian spot. And, like, a comic just started. Like, I guess they were having a comedy night. And there was a few comics there. And it was just like, got up in front of cats eating dinner.

And I don't even think people were expecting comics to be there. Like, maybe it was their girlfriend. And they just went at it. And I was just like, man, i don't even think people were expecting comics to be there like there maybe was their girlfriend and they just went at it and i was just like man i don't think i could do that that's rough business man trying to get a laugh out of cats that is like got a mouth full of food and like looking at you like what the hell are you doing here i've done that shit i used to do a waiting room i did it only once the gig was canceled but it was a waiting room of a of a restaurant and this is the first day they were going to have it was a huge restaurant and what they had they had two big gigantic places in massachusetts like down by the cape they have these giant restaurants

there man like preposterously big i did it again boom drink and in the middle of it there was like a place where they would have a stage for a band. So people would be waiting for their table to be called. And you just go on stage out of nowhere. I don't even remember if a DJ introduced me. I don't know what happened. And I'm telling these ridiculously fucking dirty jokes to a bunch of strangers. And right when you're about to hit the punchline, Johnson, table three, your table's ready.

Can you come to the front? It was on the same PA system. That's funny. come to the front? It was on the same PA system. That's funny. My PA system for telling jokes was on the same PA system as the table. That was one of the most ridiculous. Yeah, man, that's rough business. Anybody who gets somewhere in comedy, man, I think it's rougher than the fight game, man. You got to have a particular sickness.

in the fight game, man. You got to have a particular sickness. Like a fight game, if you're really truly talented, you might only have to fight two or three fights in some real shitty organization. It's a comic. You probably got to early on do it.

Well, some guys will tell you you should never get out of shitty situations. You should always stay in the muck. Because if you ever get too soft and you only preach to the converted and you don't go out and do like some sleazy little place that only seats seven people. I can dig it. Yeah, there's a very real vibe that you get off a real small crowd. It's a different vibe, especially a small crowd.

It's a totally different thing if I were to stroll into a bar and start playing songs. It's not the same. Even if it's total strangers, dead, like, you know, like a dead call, just show up and do it. It's a totally different beast if it's total strangers dead like you know like i would say a dead call just show up and do it it's a totally different beast in your head people would be way more accepting of the music in the background and listening to you playing be like oh then like you're engaging people as a comedian like directly like i want you to laugh at what i'm saying it's very arrogant too and most people you know you see a person they're on stage and your first reaction is why should you be the guy talking?

Who are you that I'm going to give up the position? I'm going to sit back and just let you run my thoughts with your loud, amplified mouth? It's offensive, especially when you're not very good at it. And when you wanted to just go to a bar and have a drink and some fucking guy who's not very good is up there saying a bunch of shitty jokes. I mean, that's how we learn how to do it. It still takes balls of steel, man. It takes real big. Or you have to be a retard. It doesn't matter how good you are.

It takes balls of steel to try. It's a fun gig. Joey Diaz says it's the hardest, easiest thing you'll ever do. That's the best way to describe it, I think. If you get good at it, it becomes easy. It becomes fun. But it's hard to stay good. It's hard to stay in that frequency, you know?

That's true of a lot of stuff. Yeah, it is, right? Creativity, right? Yeah, if you don't keep it moving and flowing. Yeah, I always feel like that. If I take too long and don't write some music, it becomes very hard to kick start it and get it going again to where it's going to be a level I'll be acceptable at.

That's why I buy mannequins. Yeah, that's how I do it, Brian. Have you ever read The War of Art? I don't think I have. Great book about killing procrastination, about making you write, making you get shit done. The War of Art.

Sounds like something I'd like to read. It's really good. It's small. It's a short book. For people, even people that aren't artists, it'll get you motivated to just get shit done that you've been procrastinating the way the guy puts it really he says his name is steven pressfield and he wrote a a bunch of books he's a pretty famous author a lot of like historical uh novels and stuff i think i believe he's uh famous for but he's uh he's also famous for being like really prolific and he's famous for, but he's also famous for being really prolific.

And he's super honest in his book about how he was a fucking loser up until he was like 40 years old. And he just like, he couldn't fucking get it together. He couldn't just work. He couldn't just, and he just kept failing, and then finally figured out how to just become a professional. How to really become a professional

and fucking work. And when he did that, everything changed, completely changed. And he's like super honest about it and super honest about what holds you back, the resistance. He calls it resistance, like the lazy procrastination, all the self-destructive shit that people do to avoid doing things that they know they should do. And the way he puts it is really quite brilliant. And it's a very inspirational book. I'm checking it out, for sure.

Real small, too. If you're not a big reader, The War of Art will get you because it's nice and small. Thanks, everybody, man. Thank you, Everlast. Thank you, always. Come back again. Anytime. I will.

Trust me. We're going to have to do more of these, Brian. Trust me. I think we're going to have to move to at least three a week. You need to do, like I said, bring somebody in, too. I'm going to meet some of these cats, man. Some fans of some of these dudes. Dude, you tell me any time I got somebody that you want to come on, man.

You got a free ticket, always. I got a few folks I want to come on to, but I'll tell you. Oh, we're going to make some shit happen, folks. You know what I mean? We're going to make some shit happen. All right. Yes. See?

You heard it all here, folks. Thanks to everybody. Thanks to the Fleshlight. Go to JoeRogan.net. Click on the link and enter in the code name Rogan. Save yourself some money on your new jerk-off toy. I use it. It's fucking wonderful.

My wife actually said, that sounds like something that's cool. Like, if you're going to jerk off, jerk off. Sure. I was like, you're crazy. It's way better than regular masturbation. It's a fucking solid product. And it's the first one for men that supposedly was really good for a long time. I think it was really, you're crazy. It's way better than regular masturbation. It's a fucking solid product. And it's the first one for men that supposedly was really good for a long time. I think it was really hard.

All right. I got some questions. Can I ask them real quick? Sure. Do we have time? Yeah, absolutely. Is it disposable? Sure.

Yeah. You're a guy that throws away jeans, man. I'm saying it. You sold how many million records? Is it like one of these things you get a certain amount of uses out of? You just clean it. Yeah. After a while, you kind of want things you get a certain amount of uses out of? You just clean it. After a while, you kind of want to probably get a new one, though, in my opinion. Because, I mean, I fuck the shit out of him.

After a while, I don't want to fuck him anymore. Brian's a savage, though. The way he fucks. He shoves it in corners of couches and fucking assaults it. He's an animal, man. He fucks like a wild animal. My shit has a lot of blood stains on it. Yeah, you look at him, man.

He's very deceptive. He's quite violent and sexual. I've been. Yeah, you look at him, man. He's very deceptive. He's quite violent and sexual. I've been scared of him since I met him, man. Thanks to Onnit.com. You can make a microphone sound good, man. I mean, I think it sounds really good. Thank you. And no training either, this fucking crazy bastard.

Onnit.com. O-N-N-I-T. Makers of Alpha Brain, New Mood, Shroom Tech Sport, and Shroom Tech Immune. Go check it out. Go to Onnit.com. Enter in the code name Rogan, and you save yourself 10% off all orders, not just your first order. All right, you dirty bitches.

We will be back at least once this week, most likely twice. Jim Jeffries is going to be here on Friday, and I think we're going to have one before Friday, probably Wednesday. Maybe with me friend Dom Herrera, if I can talk him into it. One of my favorite old school comics and a great, great friend of mine and a brilliant comedian. Dom Herrera. Hopefully we'll get him on. All right, you dirty freaks.

I'll see you soon. We love you very much. And, you know, the fucking drill. See ya. Thank you.