The Joe Rogan Experience - #203 - Jim Jefferies

Episode Date: April 7, 2012

Joe sits down with Jim Jefferies.

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Ladies and gentlemen, this podcast unfortunately started about 15 minutes ago, and we just decided to let you in on it now. For the past 15 minutes, Jim Jeffries and Brian have been laughing up a fucking storm. You silly bitches. I feel like we've used all the best stuff, to be honest with you. Yeah, I feel like we got out to a good...

It's like if you go to the gym and the first thing you do is too heavy, you can fuck up the rest of your workout. Right, Brian? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Brian knows what's up. Jim Jeffries. I personal train very occasionally with a personal

train yeah well no i get personally trained by a guy who gets very disappointed in me kenny kane oh yeah he was a comedian as well oh he's a comedian slash personal fitness guy yeah oh that's cool how do you become a personal fitness guy do you have to have a degree in like kinesiology i don't know but he trains lots of famous people so he must have something going on yeah i guess so for me to be convinced but personal training's just it's just it it's only useful to lazy people you know i mean like because i give up really quickly it's just the guy i just need a person it could be a fat person staying there going keep going come on come on you've got another one in you and i go all

right then because if i buy myself a very low threshold for any type of activity really but you make yourself go to the gym like yeah i don't want to be i don't want to be morbidly obese no my mother's a huge fat woman i have fat genes i i fight against that i don't want to be a fatty. Yeah, well, you're keeping it together. Yeah. Yeah, I'm always on the brink. But, yeah. It's tough to be disciplined. You know, it's tough to force yourself to do shit that's not pleasant.

But you're very good at it. But you enjoy it, right? I feel like I need it. I don't like the way I function when I don't work out. I don't like the way I think. I don't like the way I function when I don't work out. I don't like the way I think. I don't like my threshold for getting annoyed at things.

It gets too high. I'm too tense. I think physically, the way you physically feel, it affects the way you interact with people. And I think you almost have a duty to try to keep your shit in line at least enough so it's not fucking up on you, so you're annoyed all the time when you're around people. Because that's what you run into a lot of really cranky, bitchy people.

You know what that is? That's a person with a really unhappy body. That's an unhappy human. I'm of the opinion that if you let yourself go too much, you do become a burden on others. It's all right if you get cancer or something like that. I think the more fat, it's more comfortable. But there's some dudes where you see them waddle in,

and you're like, come on, man. Someone's got to pull you aside. This has got to stop. Do you not have anybody that could talk some sense into you? I guess the pull is just too strong man no my mother's a huge woman how big uh at her peak would have been over 300 pounds yeah but also also bring in hoarding oh yeah also i didn't know it was a condition that tv show changed my fucking life man that's my childhood wow i was watching it like yeah hoarder man oh

my god like every single one of our bedrooms after we moved out me and my two brothers those bedrooms would just fill up with shit just after jesus christ now when when you when you look back did you what did you think was going on when you were a kid um i just my mother called herself a collector you know how these people call themselves collectors if they just hoard one particular thing, but it was, it was porcelain dolls. Whoa. Creepy Victorian looking fucking dolls are all around you. Hundreds and hundreds of them just staring at you.

Did you ever do mushrooms and look at them? No, no. Oh my God. Terrifying. Oh my God. That would not be sweet. There was one that used to stare at me that I'd had to put a towel over its head

every time I was watching TV. Otherwise, I couldn't... Wow. ...be comfortable watching TV. That's how my grandmother was. It was that and those little paperweights that were like... looked like globes or something like that.

Oh, yeah. You know, everywhere. The snow where you shook them and there's snow inside of them. Oh, snow globes. Some of them, but... Some of those, but also those big marble ones

that looks like you just have a huge marble. I've never understood the paperweight market. I've probably had in my life maybe 10 paperweights. I don't think I've had 10. I've never had a bit where my paper has been so out of control. I just shut windows. You know what I mean? I'm a window shutter.

I see that as an easier fix than just paper blowing everywhere. And plus, there's so many outside, like in your yard. If you really needed something to weight that something down, you'd get a rock. This is one. A book is one. Anything's one. Like, there's people who made us think that it's an actual invention

that will build an actual glass object with a spindly thing in the middle yeah and then everybody else was like oh shit we gotta get involved with that market right god damn we gotta jump on that globe i wonder i wonder if it's painted whether it's patented you say you say could be patented that's what we said i say painted is that how you would say it i think i think that's how i would say, but I still think that's the wrong way to say it in my accent. I just think it was me speaking like a tard. I don't think it was anything to do with being Australian. It's so bizarre how similar Australians are to Americans,

even though you guys have a different accent. The accent's a little odd for us. I think we're more similar to the British, personally. You are as well. But it's amazing how you go there. By the way, the way I mean it, you just could fit right in. The accent melts after a day.

That's just what people sound like. And it seems like you're in America. Well, I don't notice the American accent now on anybody at all it's only when i have to do an audition and they make me do the american accent that i get a bit shitty with the whole thing oh do they do that they yeah make you change your voice yeah and like i fucked that one audition i got a couple of callbacks and then i said the word uh i said i said i went to the zoo and i saw a zebra i still said zebra in it whoa whoa whoa listen to the way you just said that i still said zebra in an American accent. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Listen to the way he just said that. I still said it in an American accent, but with British phrasing,

and they freaked the fuck out. I need to hear more of this American voice. That was a creepy voice, dude. Why is that so creepy? What are we going to do from here? Dude, that is creepy as fuck. You talking with an American voice, that is creepy. I say that I'm sort of, I wouldn't say synonymous with it,

but I say cunt a lot on stage and people always want me to say cunt like when they have photos right and it talk american right now in my accent if i say cunt it's it sounds great but even when i say cunt as an american i've go oh well that's a bit harsh dude you sound like a totally different human when you put on that american accent look Look at that fucking cunt over there. Come on. You would never think that's Jim Jefferies. There's no way I would think that's you.

I know, but that's the thing. If you called me up, that would freak me the fuck out. I'm going to tell you right now, don't do that. Just because I sound gay? Is that the problem? No, it doesn't sound gay at all. Hey there, Joe. It's Jim.

I just want to speak to you very quickly. We have a few problems here right now. It sounds vaguely fucked up. It doesn't sound right. It sounds really good, though. It's so close to a real person, but yet not.

There's something affected about this. Do an accent, Joe. I want to hear you in an accent. Do an Australian. I can't do it. I don't know how to do it. It actually wasn't bad. I can't do a fight one over there, Joe. I can do it. You can't even make a fake one? I don't know how to do it. I would have to. It actually wasn't bad. You can't do a fake one over there, Joe. Put another ship on the bar by night.

We don't say shit. We don't say shit. We don't. I do more English. Well, mine's 50-50 because I lived in England for 10 years. But we don't say the word shrimp. No? Americans call prawns shrimp.

We call them prawns, right? Paul Hogan does that fucking commercial where he goes, all right, we'll throw another shrimp on the barbie for you. Like that, right? And now that's, like, synonymous with Australians when that's not even a word we say. I hear people yell that out at American geeks. Like, when I'm on stage going, do the shrimp thing.

I'm like, what the fuck off, man? Isn't it weird how many, like, crazy personalities have come out of Australia? Like the Crocodile Hunter, Paul Hogan, Crocodile Dundee. Yeah, oh yeah. He was our Diana. Yeah. Crocodile Dundee was your Diana.

He lives around here somewhere. Does he? Kangaroo Jack. They only did a couple of those Crocodile Dundees, though, and then they were done. I would have thought that could have been some Indiana Jones type show. No, no, they did a third. You haven't seen it? The third one's appalling.

The third one's always straight to DVD. Yeah. And it's like, because the whole idea was that Crocodile Dundee went from Australia in the outback of Australia

to New York and was like, what the fuck's he going to do? This is such a different place. He can survive out there but he can't survive here. So that happened for the first two films. Then for the third third film you think let's send him to another

country like britain or somewhere else that's different it's crocodile dundee in la now the thing is he's been living since the last crocodile dundee film he's been living in new york for over a decade and then he gets to la and he doesn't know what's going on like it's too alarming for him like what are all these people wearing sunglasses for this is weird geez these women's breasts are too big like it's it's not a great film and in the end he becomes an animal trainer uh for the movies and he foils uh robbery an animal actually now i look back on it, it's a great film. I didn't give it a chance. Just a sheer

ridiculousness of it. He's still with Linda Kozlowski, who he married from the movie. Paul Hogan was married to a real fat woman called Nolene Hogan, who was just this big, fat woman. He had five kids with her. Then he does the Crocod this big fat woman right and he had five kids with her

and then he does the which he had before he was famous then he did Crocodile Dundee and he started dating Linda Kozlowski and the Australian public

were like oh what's he done to his wife but now he's been with that bird for 25 years so you can't really get into him

as much you started dating a bird no you know British you know Brian do you know Silly british that's then you know brian do you know you know silly goose the beatles song blackbird yeah is about rosa parks wow because paul mccartney was going

in that good with that blackbird did they it's pretty whoa wow wow so birds like a person or a girl a girl just a girl yeah any girl yeah, if you say, this is my bird, or those birds look nice, it's normally about an attractive woman would be called a bird, yeah. Would you ever fuck a real bird? Oh, jeez. Like an eagle? I'll tell you what I've done. I wouldn't feel bad about it.

I'll answer the question, what bird would I fuck if I was going to fuck a bird? If you had to fuck a bird, yeah. It would be something with long legs so I didn't have to squat or anything like that peacock well then you could just hold the bird and fuck it but i'm thinking like an emu or an ostrich or a flamingo probably a flamingo that's pink and then i'd be pretty comfortable with that flamingo that was my flamingo smelling shit when you walk past the flamingo thing you would totally lose your boner but they can bounce on one leg they They smell so bad. They have a long neck to choke.

Where they live at the L.A. Zoo, it's like a shit pool. Just a pool of bird shit. Does L.A. have a zoo? Yeah, there's a L.A. Zoo. I thought the big one was in San Diego and L.A. didn't really... The difference between a bird and a mammal is I would

feel bad if I fucked a mammal. Like, if I fucked a dog, I'd be like, oh, sorry, dude. I'd feel bad. Right. Why? Because I like animals. But a dog's not a mammal, is it? Sure.

Of course. I thought we were mammals. Yeah, mammals are warm-blooded, furry creatures. Oh, I get mixed up. All right, so whales aren't fish. Right, they're actually mammals. But I still don't give a shit it's a fish. Whales are actually mammals?

Yeah, they've got a blowhole. Yeah. Isn't that nuts? Did you say butthole? Blowhole. They breathe air, too. They also have a butthole. Isn't it funny that nothing that breathes water is smart?

Isn't that kind of cool? Everything that breathes water is stupid except for like octopuses. They think octopuses are geniuses. That's what they reckon, yeah? Yeah, they think they're kind of cool i think everything in breeze water is stupid except for like octopus they think octopuses are geniuses that's what they reckon yeah yeah they think they're kind of smart which is like when you eat like a baby octopus salad or something yeah that's why people don't want to eat dolphins because they're geniuses but now right eating like little fetus size that's pretty dangerous place to go with yeah well it's pretty dangerous to lock up dolphins and killer whales that's even more dangerous because that's something that we know they're talking to each other we know they have a complex language we don't give a fuck really yep whatever it's such a it's such a

confined space for them it's terrible not only that there's a thrill in killing things there's a look people get a charge out of being a hunter-gatherer like people that go hunting when you go fishing and catch a fish there's like a primal like release that you get from that and that's like it's it's natural it's like a part of like the reward system that nature's put in place to make sure you carry on so they have all these raging raging hormones inside of them and all these killer instincts to take things out they're supposed to be killing shit left and right they're fucking killer whales they're these gigantic monstrous animals and they don't kill shit dolphins aren't into killing just little fish dolphins kill themselves they they kill little dolphins they kill baby dolphins

the dolphins murder each other it's fun to grab onto their fin, though, eh? I like to touch them. We romanticize it, but the world underwater is cruel as fuck. You know, killer whales eat dolphins, and dolphins regularly eat babies. They kill baby dolphins. Let only baby dolphins. No, they would help baby humans, which is funny. So would killer whales. They just murdered babies all the time. Yeah, the only whales that have been documented, there's been rumors about people being killed

by killer whales. The only whales that have been documented as killing people are the ones that are in captivity. Right. They actually help people in the wild. They never kill in the wild. Yeah. But that's the same thing.

Stingrays. Stingrays. How many stingrays have killed people before fucking Steve Irwin came involved? I'm sure. It's like four or five they reckon really right it's something real low number god you just can't fuck with something like that well the thing is that's why they go i will never release the footage out of respect because they know he wasn't patting it going isn't this a lovely thing look at this you know he was grabbing the tail going look at that that could kill you and he's pointing it up to me. You know he's.

Oh, my God. Could you imagine if he did, if that's really what was going on? Do you think that they would owe the American public or the public, the worldwide public rather? They would owe them that just to know. Just to say, don't ever do this. Yeah, don't do this. It wasn't even for his show.

It was for his daughter's show for like the Disney Channel or whatever. And his daughter was on the boat and then just... Oh, God. They reckon he would have lived if they didn't pull it out. It would have blocked everything in. If they left it in, he would have lived in time, but he pulled it out. Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. But I went swimming with stingrays about a month later,

like hundreds and hundreds of them down in Antigua. No one letting fucking idiots like me in the water. So they're obviously a pretty placid animal. I don't know if they're all the same species. I think there's a bunch of different kinds of stingrays too. I don't know what he was fucking with. Yeah well the thing is some of them

only like very few of them are poisonous stingers but he didn't it wasn't that it was poisonous it went through his heart. You know everybody it was he's a weird weird guy because like everybody really loved that guy apparently it was a super nice guy everybody loved him he put all his money back into conservation and stuff like he was very charitable man as well but there were people that looked at some of the shit he did and were furious like when he was holding his child while feeding a crocodile yeah that was good that was the most

ridiculous shit i think i've ever seen a person and he had a little baby running away i kind of like that though i didn't like that at all that's ridiculously cocky just because that thing has never jacked you before doesn't mean it can't right now if it just decides it needs more than that chicken are you really confident of what its fucking diet's been for the last couple of weeks yeah true and the baby is the size of a big chicken they would be happy to eat you there was a bunch of kayakers that were going through um some fucking river and uh one of them got taken out by a crocodile so a real recent thing was in like was it a new york times article or something like that? But from the perspective of the other two guys that were kayaking and a fucking crocodile came and jacked them.

Can you imagine the position, what it would feel like to be on a kayak and just get taken out by a giant dinosaur? Just something that was alive 100 million years ago. It looked exactly the same. Well, they reckon the big difference between crocodiles and alligators is uh crocodile search for food and alligators sit and wait really so an alligator would sit in a swamp in miami and just until until something stupidly look like a rock until something swims by where a crocodile just wakes up in the morning going i'm gonna fucking catch something so you can't fuck with them as much yeah because they won't leave

you alone they're very aggressive. There was a park in Florida where they raised crocodiles and alligators together. And there's only crocodiles left? I'm telling you. When they were feeding them, the crocodiles were running over the heads

of the alligators to get the food. It was ridiculous. You just looked at it and you went, whatever that thing is, fuck that thing. The alligator is the fags of the crocodile alligator community. Clearly. Yeah, I lived in Florida.

I was around alligators all the time when I was a kid. I lived there for a couple of years. I have no problems with alligators as long as they don't bother me. Lake Alice, but they would snatch dogs every now and then. Someone would fuck up and walk their dog too close to the shore, and they would snatch it. It's scary shit when you hear about some little old lady

and her fucking dog gets yanked away from her. Imagine what that is for her, her little buddy. You know, she's walking on the leash. I've just moved into the hills. You've probably got it around here as well, but people are telling us not to have a dog because fucking mountain lions will come and eat your dog. Just in the Hollywood Hills.

It can happen. It's rare. It can happen. You know, more likely, if you have a small dog, it's coyotes. Coyotes are dangerous. They'll snatch dogs from people, too. They've done that many times. They're tricky fucks.

And they also will gang up on people. Well, they haven't. People. A girl died last year in Toronto or outside of Toronto. Some artist. She was, I think it's Toronto. Somewhere in Canada. I thought it was Toronto.

It might not have been. But it was somewhere in the woods. She's going for a nature walk. She was 19 years old, a singer. Apparently, she was a really good singer and a music contract. She got jacked by a bunch of coyotes. Was she good looking? Yeah.

That's a shame. Killed by dogs, basically. Big, wild, crazy dogs. My girlfriend just gave me a look when I made that joke. She didn't like that joke. Wow. Because the implication was that ugly people should be allowed to die. That's not pleasant.

No, that's not. I'm not saying they should die. I'm just saying that If you're going to save one Out of the two Save the pretty one Yeah of course Of course

Do you ever do that Before you go on planes Before I go on a plane I sit there And I try to work out Who I want to live And who I want to die When it crashes

Like I sit there going Whose company Am I most comfortable with In this group It's not always the pretty ones Who live Sometimes it's just the person With the warm sort of look to them. Yeah, I always think to myself, I want to just decide like some grand.

Just like Hitler. I just sit there. I just sit there going live, live, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, alive. Like I wipe out whole families because I don't want anyone mourning or crying. So if one of your family goes, you all fucking go. That means every time you want one of the hot daughters you have to get the whole family then right yeah because then she'll yeah i suppose yeah keep our daughter because she'll need comforting up on and i always picture me it's always going to be like on a snow crest and hill or something but i only

really fly domestically across america it's not going to be that bad did you see that liam nisa movie where they're in the plane i've heard it's great i haven't seen it but i just chase them down the gray yeah it's not bad man it's unrealistic like because the wolves don't really behave like that but it's uh it's pretty interesting when you you hear about people that actually have been killed by wolves it's a lot more than i thought it was what do you mean some chick got killed last year in alaska by wolves and i thought wow that's probably really rare i bet that's only happened like once in a hundred years sure no no it happened a lot it used to happen a lot people used to get killed by wolves it was like a total normal part of life there's all these documented cases of people killed by wolves that's

why peter and the wolf was such an entertaining program back then yeah well the big bad wolf what is the big bad why is that the you know why is the you know he goes to grandma's house and there's a big bad wolf waiting because wolves were real man like if people lived especially in parts of europe you know especially in russia like they got wolf problems man wolves are scary they scare the out of any animal really yeah any animal for sure but wolves i get scared from bugs man sometimes they're just disgusting we talked about this yesterday i had scabies once that's gross that'll do your head in scabies oh my god i read about a dude from 1920 or wherever

the fuck it was he was up in canada trapping and he killed four wolves by shooting them and then like eight more by clubbing them to death with his rifle before a rifle butt broke and then they killed him wow damn our wolves scary bears i've been more terrified i've still never seen a bear in the world i have i'd like to see i've seen bears. It's interesting. I want that as a ringtone. It's a weird feeling. What do you want as a ringtone?

You need to sell that as a ringtone. Fucking art and shit, man. You sell that for a dollar? You just made 50 million dollars. No, not that much. I bet I'd make 20 bucks, though. Yeah, wolves scare the shit out of me. That's real.

Whatever. Wolves are... How is that possible that I created whatever? Tom Herrera was crazy. That was the Xanax. Whatever. Wolves are scary. That's the ringtone.

It's the dubstep remix of whatever. Wolves are scary. That's awesome. Powerful Jim Jefferies. Powerful. That's what you text me. Is this a new thing? Powerful? Powerful's beeneries Powerful That's what you text me Is this a new thing Powerful

Powerful's been around for years But have you said powerful Or is this what Americans say Powerful I've been saying it for years And Bert Kreischer says it And Duncan Trussell says it Everybody says it

There's a poster over there That says powerful Yeah Yeah We You know what It all My friend Larry

I'm going to say pretty strong I ganked it from my friend larry larry used to say it was his he would say powerful and he would do a head slap powerful oh yeah yeah remember it was it was that larry from the three no no no no all my zits on my forehead like all this too much information's coming in i auditioned for that three stooges movie did you really oh fuck one of the stupidest the guy who went in before me was the guy who got it like uh but to play mo and everyone else was in the waiting room in outfits like really putting effort in and i hadn't put a lot of effort in and i it was like you had to do one of those slapping type of scenes yeah yeah, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All by yourself. Oh, no.

And there's no one there to slap. And it was one of those things where, like, you know, like they never tell you that you've done badly, but also they don't tell you your agent. They go, oh, he was okay, but we're going a different way because they don't want to have that conversation with the needy agent either. But they told my agent that I was woeful,

that I was really, really bad. You were woeful? I know I was. Did you ever i was i was woeful that i was really really bad you were woeful i know i was ever use that word woeful no but that might be my phrasing there but i was i was pretty bad if you don't have anyone to slap though does it look like you're just shooing butterflies or something i was doing a little bit of like where you act like you're slapping at your hand and then like i'm doing the poking thing without one doing the poke with no one with me and and just that's not right i've watched like two stooges films that afternoon just to get me in the mood i was only meant to watch one but i kind of enjoyed it so i watched another one you know you should have done you should have come on the in the audition wearing a complete green

suit i went as green screen suits and the little balls all over you. How could they expect you to do that kind of improvisation with no person there? Well, the guy who got it was the same guy who played Robin Williams in a bio TV show about him. Like a NBC midday movie type of thing, right?

So he's a good impressionist. He must be a good impressionist. That's all I can tell. But he had the wig and everything and he was in the waiting room room he was all ready for it how weird is it that they're bringing back the three stooges man that's officially out of ideas if they bring that abedin costello yeah snooki's in the preview that's what yeah well at least abedin they brought back abedin costello man really how could you do that those were two actual people i'm gonna say over the three stooges except they kept on replacing mo with the other one Costello, man. Really? How could you do that? Those were two actual people. I'm going to say... It was the three Stooges, except they kept on replacing Mo

with the other one, Shem or Shelp or whatever he was. Yeah, but I always felt like they were characters. Shelp was a Shem. I always felt like Abner and Costello were saying their name. His name really wasn't Shemp. That guy's name really wasn't Curly. Yeah, you're never going to bring back Lewis and Martin. Yeah, exactly.

That's exactly what I'm saying. Yeah. It seems like the characters, you could bring back the character Curly and have another guy play it maybe, you know, and get away with it. There was another Stooges pick, wasn't there, where they had the guy from The Shield playing. Oh, God. Oh.

Michael Chiklis played it. Jesus Christ. And it was a miniseries, a three-day miniseries, and it was produced by Mel Gibson because he's a big Stooges guy. That was a great show, The Shield. That was one of my favorite cop shows, man. Oh, yeah. It was probably the most realistic cop show ever.

I saw this. This is how realistic it was. I saw the guy. Remember the guy that had the real sort of weird bug eyes who was the one who killed his wife and the kid at the end? He was the main character. He was his best mate who kept fucking up and fucking up and fucking up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But he was a bit of a psychopath who would just kill people. Yeah. I saw him at Whole Foods like four days ago, and I got a little chill like, I've been like, I hear him. I actually had that. Oh, I wonder what he's in here for. He's probably going to kill someone.

That'll suck. Well, he was a perfect guy for that role, too. I mean, he looked like that guy, like a dangerous, thick-looking, crazy fuck cop that would shoot you and make up a story about it and pass a lie detector test. He was good, man. That was a good fucking show. It really is weird, though,

seeing people that you see on TV in real life, though. I saw the guy from Lost the other day at the Ding Dong show, the guy that was also in Lord of the Rings. The Irish guy. The Irish guy that died. I'm just sitting there going, dude, he died.

He's a ghost. Charlie's here. Charlie's at the comedy store. You silly bitch. Yeah, because they all died. Didn't you watch the last episode? They were all dead. They all died.

I loved his story arc, though. That was a cool story arc. You know, him being in that band, getting hooked on Smack. It was fun. Yeah, that was a cool story arc. It was a good storyline. It was fun. And he started banging that bird who was the lead out of it.

That was pretty good for him because he was, in real life, because he was a hobbit before that. Yeah. And that's a big leap. What's her name? Lily. That was a huge leap. Lily.

That girl is fucking pretty. Woo! I was a Kate guy. I liked the Kate girl. Oh, Kate's fucking pretty, too. She got her teeth fixed. What's wrong with Kate? What's wrong with her teeth?

I don't know. She had a little gap in them. I like a little gap. Leave that gap. That girl was pretty, girl. Let me her teeth fixed. What's wrong with her teeth? I don't know. She had a little gap in them. I like a little gap. Leave that gap. That gap is pretty, girl. Let me kiss that gap. Yeah.

Don't worry about that gap. I'm trying to think of hot gap women throughout the year. They're all hot, man. I like a little gap. I like it. Yeah, who's some hot gap women? Madonna in a day was a hot gap woman.

I find... Bella Donna. Hot chicks with flaws are the best. Hot, but with like one little nagging weird thing. Like webbed feet. If you had webbed feet... When you say one nagging thing,

you don't want to just be like missing a tick. You want it to be... If you had webbed feet, would you separate that shit or would you just go Aquaman? I would take pity. I would show it to people it was just like one webbed toe like a big toe to the next one just on one foot i would rock it out what is that what is the webbed feet about i don't know but what's the percentage

the feet are webbed in the womb and they they that's the last thing that happens to the body isn't it the toes separate and the hands separate and i think it's just the that last little bit didn't didn't happen that's interesting what and the hands separate. And I think it's just that last little bit didn't happen. That's interesting. What's the percentage of the small toe being retarded? Because both of my pinkies are pretty much retarded. There's something wrong with it. My little toe.

What do you mean? Well, everyone's little toe is useful. Mine's crooked and looks like a pigtail. The nail doesn't really grow too much. I would tell you, let me see, but you told me that you slept in those, so I'm going to say no. I'll have a look at it.

Give me a little toe. I always find it weird when you see those girls who keep this, because I don't keep my toenails that well clipped, I imagine. I do a fair job, but nothing remarkable. But when you see that girl that's clipped her nails so much, she just has that little toenail that's not like it's a slither, like a millimeter. That's what mine is. Yoursail. That's not like it's a sliver. Yeah, like a millimeter That's what mine is. Yours is. Yeah, and then the girl still bothers to paint it

She still paints that little bit just over the top It's it's like when you see that girl put red lipstick on and she smears it a little or something That is kind of weird that little phantom last toenail. So you don't have the nail you just have the sliver I have the sliver sometimes sometimes it doesn't even grow. Do you ever think of just taking it off and just being done with it? Yeah. What's the use of it? What the fuck is up with these nails, man? That's the weird thing.

These things that grow. Well, hand nails are useless, right? Yeah, they're useful. They're good for clawing, but they're so weak. We just don't know how to use them yet. But your toenails, useless fuckers, and they're stronger than the hand ones. Do you think that cavemen had like much stronger

fingernails? Sure. If you were jacking things with your nails all the time would they get thicker? Would they grow like muscle? Yeah of course. No if you grow them long

they get real thick at the back. When you look at these Guinness Book of Records stuff they can't cut them because once they get so long it joins their blood flow and shit.

Whoa daddy. When they start curling and stuff. Hold up son. It joins your blood flow. Yeah when Whoa, daddy. When they start curling and stuff. Hold up, son. Yeah. It joins your blood flow. Yeah. I'm talking when they get like... Yeah.

Then they get there and they start curling and curling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They reckon these people have to have special surgery because they can't just cut them at the base here. Oh, my God. Because that's become an extension of you. Jesus fucking Christ. You're a tree.

Yeah, yeah. You're a goddamn nail tree. Mm. Wow. That's supposed to turn into your trans like what if that was supposed to do that for a reason like you're supposed to grow that big and it's supposed to turn into like a time machine that's that's always that's always the theory of evolution it's like whenever something new is on the human body we cut it out we go we don't know what this is we're cutting it out what if this person is just the most evolved person and like an ipod's growing out of their arm or something what if you cut his nails off and then he has like the phantom nail itch he feels them touching things they're

not there anymore it feels like you know like you amputated his hand that guy had like nerve damage because of that the guy in the guinness book. Oh, there's a whole lot of them that are into it, yeah. Jesus Christ. You go to India, you see a lot of shit like that. Just India is weird, man. India is weird? India is just a weird place. There's a lot of people, right?

So anytime you get a lot of people, you got a billion people. Think how many weird people in America with 330 million. Go to India, you got a billion. It's a lot more weirdness that can carry on. Yeah, I would imagine. That's why I always think that America gets a bad rap because Australians and British are always going on about how idiotic Americans are.

It's just that you get to publicize yours more. Americans aren't any more stupid than the British or Australian. Yeah, well, there's stupid people all over the world. All over the world, but you have more of them because per capita you have more of them. It might be that, but it also might be this is a there's a this is a country that's lived in prosperity for so long there's a lot of soft-minded folks who haven't had to they haven't had to question the way things are really running they haven't had to investigate things they sort of sat back and let let everything sort of. It wasn't until recently, I think,

that people are finally starting to realize that you really can't do that. You can't just trust the government because they can't be trusted. They run amok. There's a lot of people, though, that haven't done that yet. Don't they reckon that only 40% of all Americans have passports? That's the one that I always find upsetting.

It's incredible. It's strange that it would be at least 90% of them have passports because it's an isolated country. But there's a bit of you that goes, well, maybe that's because in America, you can go to Disneyland. It's already there. You know, like we're all coming on holidays

over to see your shit. You've already got all your shit and it's very nice. Yeah, I don't know. This is a strange country, man. They're all strange. George Bush didn't have a passport until he was president. That's amazing, isn't it? Yeah. Any president?

What was he, like 50? Never had a fucking passport and he's the most powerful man in the world and never traveled? He just traveled under different names. He's a fascinating dude i would love to drink with george bush and just find out what the fuck he really thinks about things could you imagine i have a friend who and i can't say his name because he's a

fairly famous actor well i have a friend who shagged one of these girls dude you just opened up a can of shit you just opened up a can of shit they're gonna find you and they're gonna waterboard your ass until you give up that dude we're already dead for real man you can't just come on our show and do that I know that people are fuck these orders no way dude that's not what I heard I just to know if he's ticklish. If he's George W.? I bet he is.

I bet he is. What do you think actually happened to him when he had that black eye and he said he ate a pretzel and choked and blacked out and fell down? I believe exactly that's what happened. I can see him eating a pretzel and freaking out and tripping. I think that's what happened as well because you would make up a less idiotic lie. I think his dad put a fucking leather glove on yeah and slapped him beat his ass while he was eating a pretzel yeah maybe he's talking some shit like well who's the

president now is it me or you it used to be you right yeah but it's me now right yeah okay cool i just want to know i'm the president right you did one term right yeah yeah i'm on my second yeah and this motherfucker just put on a leather glove. Tickled him. And Herbert Walker. George Sr. was the head of the CIA. That dude was no joke. They probably interrogated him. So you've got to say he fell on a present.

So did you like either of them? Or both of them? Do I like? Did you like them? Were they good guys in your mind? Well, not based on anything they ever did with the world. I don't know them personally. I think George Bush Jr. would be a cool guy to hang out with.

He just seems like he's a bit of a laugh. I bet if you could really pick that guy's brain, if you were given access to his memory banks, I bet it would be quite fascinating. Because I bet that's a guy who's just a puppet, just a fucking happy guy who is a guy part of a big influential family. And I think they just told him what to say

and he went out and said it. That's what it looks like to me. Imagine. Could you imagine? What's he doing now? Because you see Clinton all the time. Clinton's always doing stuff. George hasn't done nothing since he's left.

He's probably watching us on the- Well, Dick Cheney just got a new heart, you know? They just gave him a new heart. Ah, like the Tin Man. Yeah, man. He got a heart transplant. Apparently, before that, he had a machine hooked up, like some sort of a pump in his body.

So he didn't have a pulse. No, no, it's more complicated. Whatever it did, he didn't have a pulse anymore no it's more complicated whatever it did it didn't he didn't have a pulse anymore this thing sort of helped him pump the blood and like if you try to do his pulse he would have no pulse but he was alive what yeah but why wouldn't you wouldn't you still have a pulse no apparently not because it wasn't pumping in a pulsing way it was just pumping in a stream it was like well you know what i'm saying by that it wasn't pumping in a pulsing way. It was just pumping in a stream. It was like one of those... But you know what I'm saying by that? It wasn't going through.

It was just flowing. Exactly. I think that's what I would guess, but being an idiot and know nothing about medical science... I like to think that it's one of those things that I use at a fireplace to put... A bellows. A bellow. But that would be...

I like it's one of those things that you siphon petrol with. That would make... Gasoline. Yeah. Is that the point? Yeah. I guess the the pump though is the actual

heart muscle working you know the pump is the actual heart muscle pushing it out if the heart muscle is not working and this pump is doing so is it an artificial heart

is that what it is whatever the fuck it was he didn't have a pulse because of this thing and then they opened him up hearts are weird fuck yeah I don't know how

they've become synonymous with love they're the grossest fucking things well there's a reason for it and the the reason they recently discovered and this is uh just i think within the last couple years that there's at least as many neurons in the heart as there are in the brain so you're talking about those lines you're talking about a theory about're talking about a theory about where someone gets a heart transplant i've heard these stories where someone gets a heart transplant and then all of a sudden they can speak fucking french no that we give too much credit to the brain and the other organs can do shit well that's you know i don't know if that's

real or not i don't know if anybody's ever come back from an organ transplant and and given a depiction of the person's life but if you were going to do it from any organ transplant i would say the heart's not a bad candidate because of all the neurons in it see they don't know where the fuck your memory comes from memory is a mystery because every cell in your body is replaced every seven years your cells all get replaced like there's a new i thought they knew the space that it's stored or you the issue. Those cells, those brain cells, they regenerate. All of them. What doesn't, though, is neurons. Neurons, apparently, you keep for life.

Can't you drink them away? They know what part of the brain hurts. If you hurt part of the brain, they know where memory is stored based on people getting injuries to specific locations of the brain. They know frontal lobotomies, they figured that out. They knew, like, where they could do to zombie you out. They found the right spot. Where the dude, by the way, won the fucking Nobel Prize.

The guy who made lobotomies won a Nobel Prize. Like, they thought he was awesome. Like, dude, way to go. Hit Lewis Times, man, in the year. You silence these retards. You fucking drill a hole in their head and scoop out their brains. I was like shock therapy. Yeah, that's pretty crazy.

Yeah, when you ever see that fucking book. I had a very close relative go through that when they were younger. Really? Yeah. What the fuck? The right down on the rubber stick and the fucking, we're going to fucking. Oh, my God. Like this whole idea that we're going to kill the psycho out of you with electric.

Like that's, and that was happening right up until the 80s in Australia, shock therapy. Oh my God. And that's, that's like so close to when they're like bleeding and using leeches in medicine. Like to go, oh yeah, we'll just electrocute people. Well, electricity seems so cool and so powerful it's like well let's just hook them up to that shit see if it fixes yeah this guy's schizophrenic this will help could you imagine what that must fucking feel like and fighting it because you're already a bit mental and then the nurse is holding you down oh my god when you think about doing this

how did it start off did they do it on mice first? And then we're like, wow, that mouse is crazy. And then they shock. And it's like, oh, it's not moving around much anymore. That one's a little docile. She blinded me with. That's funny. Yeah. How did they figure that out?

Some crazy asshole. It started on humans. It just doesn't seem right. The same Nobel Prize winning asshole scrambling people's fucking brains. But when we look back, because bleeding has got to be the most stupid of them all, right? When you're really sick,

they cut all your blood out and dripped it into bowls because they thought they were getting, when you needed your blood more than ever, right? Yeah. Are we going to, in 50 years, go, they used to give these kids

that couldn't breathe these little puffers that made it worse and gave them... You know, is there going to be things from now that we're going to look back at and go, that was fucking madness? Will chemotherapy seem like madness? You know what will seem like madness?

Prescription drug abuse. When they find out how many different people are hooked on all sorts of different painkillers. See, that's a real American thing. I'd never... And in Britain, it's where I've taken most of my drugs. No, I never met anyone that wanted, I never knew what an Oxycontin was

until a couple of years ago. Maybe your government is better at filtering the stuff and doesn't, you know, socialize medicine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the difference right there. It's probably not as easy to get. See, in America, it's real easy to get that stuff. All you have to do is be injured.

Pharmaceutical drugs are, you know, really, you know, they've helped a lot of people a lot of people have benefited for sure from from discoveries that you know have been kept people alive that would have been dead a lot of like really cool things have been discovered but there's also a lot of money in pharmaceutical drugs sure whenever there's a lot of money in something and that something just happens to be addictive and then the money starts pouring in well they get addicted to that money hmm you can't tell a pharmaceutical company that loses you know eight ten thousand people a year to whatever the fuck they're selling you can't tell them that you're you can't you can't sell that stuff anymore you gotta stop everyone in America has this little thing like we obviously in

it with our jobs fly a lot. And whenever I get on a plane, like I speak to my management or agents or something, I go, oh, fuck it. I want to just fly. I can't sleep on planes. They always just take a Xanax. Easy. Just take a Xanax. And they say it so blasé.

You're like, no. And then you think this is what these people are doing just when they're home in bed and they're tossing and turning a little bit. Sometimes it's just fucking hard to go to sleep, yeah i had xanax this week yeah xanax don marrero went off about xanax uh he's he's been taking it for like four or five years yeah he's talking about it and he likes it i don't think so didn't sound like he liked it sounded like he needed it sounded like he enjoyed it yeah i don't think he likes it yeah you know what i mean yeah no i get completely what you're saying yeah there's a lot of people on

that stuff though it's real common you know it's strange oh that's how heath legend or they reckon heath legend never was a recreational drug taker at all really but he just got really into like i knew my sleep i knew my sleep well there's a lot of people. Working on sets is long fucking days. Yeah, there's a lot of people. Yeah, those movie star dudes. It seems like an easy life, but when you're on a set, you might have to work 16 hours in a day, and you have to put out all that energy.

A lot of them get sick. A lot of them need B12 shots. It's not easy, man, especially when you're acting at that level. That guy was a bad motherfucker. He was a good actor. Made out with a dude. Yeah. Strong.

They went at it strong. Spit in the hand. Have you seen Life's Too Short yet? Did I see what? Life's Too Short, the new Ricky Gervais TV show? No. Just a show about dwarves. It's funny.

It's a sitcom about dwarves on HBO, but if you haven't seen it, I won't reference it. Basically, they make a whole lot of dwarves go through famous scenes in movie history, and there's a Brokeback Mountain, which is just funny to watch with two English dwarves going, I'm definitely gay. Oh, my word, I'm enjoying this.

But if you haven't seen it, I'm not going to talk about it. I haven't seen it. It's on at the about it i haven't seen it it's all at the moment it's very it's very good what was that video you were showing me earlier uh from the bone zone of uh those dudes kissing each other how did people find that oh yeah if you go on uh youtube it's randy litkey and davy johnson and the the video is called an intimate moment on the bone zone and that's just from one of the podcasts we do at Death Squad. Yeah, Brendan Walsh, who is,

I think he's in, where is he? Somewhere, Seattle or something? Yeah, he's somewhere. Vancouver? I should know this. Oh, yeah. Because he asked me to tweet it. But he's got a podcast on Death Squad

and it's called The Bone Zone. He's a fucking funny dude. So anything he's doing, I'm sure is hilarious. Yeah, so there's a kissing scene. Two guys kiss in every episode.

And so we, it's really funny though. They're really funny guys. Seattle. Yeah, he's, so Seattle, folks. He's in Vancouver tonight and tomorrow too.

So look on brendanwalsh.com. Oh. There you go, Brendan. i gave you a plug you fuck check this out i asked don as don barris has been locked out of his own facebook account for four days they it's a hacker but we were just saying some nice things about brendan walsh why i have to go negative oh i just no no so why is the hacker going on? Get people to go out and see Brendan Walsh. No, but... Brendan Walsh is hilarious, isn't he?

Yeah. Brian, shouldn't people go see him? Yeah. Yes. I thought we were past that. I don't really know him, but he sounds very funny. But somebody took his fucking Facebook account and changed all his email and stuff, and now he can't get back into it, and Facebook won't help him at all.

So now there's just somebody looking at all his shit, looking at all his photos. Does he have an ex-girlfriend that hates him? No. Somebody hacked his shit. Everyone's got one of those. Does he have enemies? You know all that shit he does with Scary Perry and all that shit like that? There might be people that are against that or something.

Yeah, if you don't know, they did a movie. What is the name of that movie? Windy City Heat. Oh, I love this something. Yeah, if you don't know, they did a movie. What is the name of that movie? Windy City Heat. Oh, I love this movie. Yeah, I love that film. Don Barris was a part of that. It does get cruel at moments, and then you just have to remember that guy's a bit of an asshole.

Yeah, he's a weird guy to be around, that's for sure. But, I mean, wow, they took it deep. I mean, they made a movie about this guy being famous and he really believed it i mean to me that's like a part of that is like you're picking on mental illness is clearly this guy's there's a disconnect between this guy and reality like it's funny sorta but man you're talking about like the ultimate the jokes on you that's like they're picking on a crazy person yeah but, but one thing that's different than that argument is that the crazy people all want to be comics or actors

so they know what they're doing. So that's the thing. We've done Opie and Anthony together a fair bit, right? Yeah, sure. And every time I do it, one of their, I wouldn't say retards, one of their crazies that are on the show, sometimes I go home feeling a little bit down about it and then i remember that this they love it that's their lives they've got a level of fame they go

to these conventions or whatever and i'll be empty do things on the road and they get big round of applauses and then for them it's very exciting but it is just picking on a mentally ill person well yeah well i think there's a way to do it and a way not to do it. Don does it right. Like one of the guys is a schizophrenic surfer guy. And I used to do open mics with this guy. And he's schizophrenic and he's a really hardcore schizophrenic. But he would do like an act.

And then afterwards I would always try to talk to him. But he would look past me. It was really weird. What does schizophrenic entail? What has to be wrong with you? Schizophrenic's two personalities, right? I don't know know he's just really it seems like that's not bipolar is not two personalities no bipolar is not bipolar is depression it's being up it's being down right schizophrenia is you start believing you're someone else is that what you're going in and out

of different personalities yeah sometimes you can talk to other time he just looks past you and plus the fact that he smokes weed on top of that is kind of like really weird. But he's a real nice guy. But as an example, I used to do open mics with him. And now he's fucking loving doing the ding-dong show. Okay, this is, it is, it makes it difficult to tell the difference between real and unreal experiences. Think logically, have normal emotional responses, behave normally in social situations. Yep. Huh. So what's the dual personality one?

Well, you can. I think there's people that don't believe in multiple personality disorder. They think it's horseshit. There are people that think it's horseshit. They just want attention. Yeah. Yeah. I think.

I don't know. I mean, have you met anybody that was a real? I've got a friend friend and he's a good friend of mine so i'd say his name but i have a friend of mine who uh who says that he had a split personality but it was just whenever he acted like an asshole that was oh that was such and such that just came out and you're like no you were just an asshole you can't just say that you're you when you're good yeah You're you when you're bad as well. Yeah, that's ridiculous.

Some people have it, I guess. I guess dissociative identity disorder. They're saying it's real. Well, there's people who actually change their name and I'm candy now and I have a dog. Yeah, well, you know who did that was the dude, Herschel Walker. Herschel Walker apparently had some serious problems.

Who's Herschel Walker? Oh, he's a famous football player who's an older guy, and he's now competing in MMA. He's like, in his time, he was one of the greatest football players of all time, a ridiculous athlete, and now he's 48 years old, shredded and just destroying people in in mixed martial arts fights and that was his background there's a kid from australia who got signed up to i think one of the the big nfl teams yesterday and uh never held an american football that's amazing

he played rugby but they just made him do all the tackling stuff, and statistically he's off the chart. Wow. Straight into the NFL, never touched the ball. That's incredible. Yeah, the NFL wants super athletes. Yeah, he's like one of these 6'8", just powerhouse type of blokes. Jesus fucking Christ. There's some people, when you get around them,

you can't believe that's a real person. That's a person too. Like, I'm the same as that person, we're the same species. Like Shaq, you ever meet Shaq? Shaq. There's a guy in New Zealand Called Jonah Lomu Who's fairly well

Like portrayed in That movie Vindictus or whatever About the rugby world cup But that's the biggest cut I've ever seen What is that What's that movie

The one with Matt Damon And fucking Okay yeah Nelson Mandela Yeah I didn't see Morgan Freeman Was that good

That was pretty good man He did a fucking excellent Nelson Mandela. Yeah. Morgan Freeman. Was that good? That was pretty good, man. He did a fucking excellent Nelson Mandela. Really? I like South Africa. You ever gigged out there? No. Man, I hooked up with this guy, man. He takes big action.

Yeah, it's fucking great, man. The people are awesome. The food's outstanding. Really? You just can't walk the streets, right? It's just one of these things where there's barbed wire fences and shit everywhere. Jesus. How dangerous is it

they you lock your guns up in lockers when you're going to the casino like and you'll see like everyone pulling their gun out and just oh my god and there's but you just don't go through the townships and you don't try not to have sex with anyone for a couple of weeks that's about you know what i mean it's africa's africa or there Hawaii sounds better. There was a story about a guy who took his girlfriend to Africa and arranged for her to be kidnapped, and they kidnapped her and killed her. Crazy fucking story, man, that he got down there and he convinced someone to kidnap her.

And he was going to get the ransom money from her parents or something like that. And they just fucking killed her. Yeah, no ransom money for death. It's silly kidnapping. That's one story. The other story is that he had her killed. He wanted to move on to some new girl, so he had her killed, which is even fucking crazy.

Yeah, just break up with her, mate. How can it be you know some dudes just get deep they just get deep into it they gotta get out i gotta get out now yeah yeah the only way is for her to die but you can see lions and tigers out there it's pretty exciting what a fucked up thing to do man hire someone to kidnap your chick i always loved it though when you say said those news stories. It's happened to us so many times when we watch news stories where some mom's like, we were driving along and this black man with tattoos just opened the door and stole my car with my child in it. And then you go, that car's going to end up in the swamp

and you put them in the seatbelt and this is going to be awesome. Right? But now it makes you suspicious of every person who ever cries on TV. You always watch them going, yeah, you're a killer. I always go straight for you. Well, when you find out that they are, it is the weirdest feeling in the world. Especially if you've been supporting them,

if you've been going, that poor lady, that poor lady. If you feel cheated as the public, you're like. How many times have women been busted doing that where they didn't know that they were guilty and then they caught them? In America, a couple times but there's a there's a um there's a case um in the uk which has been going on for fucking everyone what's that um maddie anyway very very famous case in the uk where this couple went on holiday in port. They were in a resort type thing.

They left the kid, Madeline McCain was the name of the little girl. And so they left Madeline McCain in this room. They went off and had dinner like 50 meters away. She was five years old. They just left her there sleeping. When they got back, she was gone, right? Now, the case has never been opened, but people are still of the opinion that maybe they did it, right?

Maybe they did, but no one can prove that. And then they're like, maybe some pedophile did it, maybe some whatever did it. But it's a real big case. Like to the extent that last time I went back to Britain, they had pictures of her five years on, computer generated what she'd look like now. So to keep looking for her, like the parents are still like putting it. It's just so creepy when they do that. Yeah.

A fake person. I used to do a joke. I went, how long are we going to keep this going for? I hope another six years so we can get that hot picture of when she's 16. Yeah, they start making her like have like thongs on and like really sexy. This is how she'd look now.

Most likely with a collar on her neck. That's pretty fucked. Why don't I just put a realistic picture of just some bones covered with cum. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

Fun. It's fun it is yeah you can never do that in any other job and be like you know that would be fine we sat back and we were like wow i can't believe you did that but that's pretty fucking funny you know you could you would get in trouble if you were in upper management somewhere you know and you said that at a board meeting. Could you imagine somebody passed the milk and you hold up this thing. Was this a fucking real thing? Imagine if this was a pile of bones that come and everybody just... Or if you're an advertising guy and you just came in with a poster of that.

My brother's quite a successful business type guy i don't i couldn't tell you quite what he does but he was entertaining clients on uh on on a boat like a squirt no they were trying to yeah like very similar so he was entertaining clients on a boat like people he was trying to get money out of he developed shopping centers and stuff right so he had this boat this was years this early on in my career and I had like a CD out, my first CD and my brother just had it and he goes,

oh, everyone wasn't really getting along so I thought I'd put your CD on and see if we could pick the mood up of the group. He goes, you started with a Down Syndrome joke. The fucking guy's kid had Down Syndrome and we're stuck in Sydney Harbour

and we couldn't go back and he was yelling at me like i fucked these deal up i'm thinking you don't have to put my cd on no one asked you to put it on not much of a story but it's what we got it's what we got we got to work with it so i guess this this is actually kind of disputed this multiple personality disorder some people think it's bullshit but a lot of people think it's legit you know that's the one person doing that maybe right they're all they're all typing in under the different personalities this is bullshit i think herschel walker thought it was trauma induced from the years of football

which is totally crazy and now he's fighting you know it's like wow like what you're saying that he's drunk, and that's what happened? Well, not necessarily punched drunk. I mean, he talks fine. He seems to think fine, too. But, you know, a lot of people believe that you could get a lot of things wrong with your brain from repeated trauma. And the kind of trauma they have on football

is like i mean these guys are running at each other and clashing heads and shit and head to fucking knees and i mean that's there's some serious impact that these guys are withstanding and a lot of them get fucked up because of it i'm pretty sure that's what he was saying was that it was a trauma related um multiple personality disorder that's the same as Muhammad Ali. People still go, oh, we're not sure. Oh, you're sure. They're sure. They're not sure.

They're silly. But it's the same as like Richard Pryor and Dudley Moore both took a lot of cocaine in their days. And then they had the same, this extraordinarily rare nerve disorder. It wasn't just Parkinson's. It was like a rare strain of it. And the people still go, oh, we don't quite know how this happened and it's like i think i think i know yeah i know another person who did the exact same thing and has the exact same problem yeah yeah it's uh that that's it's super super common man well dudley moore kept kept it secret for years

and everyone because they thought he was just a drunk but he he was then given up acting and thing he used to go out as a concert pianist because he was a really good pianist and uh yeah he used to get halfway he used to get halfway through a song and then just sort of down the microphone everyone going oh dudley's drunk again he wasn't drunk he was just fucking heavily diseased wow for the last three or four years of his career. No one knew. Wow, that's incredible. Remember that show, That's Incredible?

Yeah. That was a good show. That was a good show. Was it? No. Back in the day, it was. If you watch it today, would you buy a DVD? It'd probably be awesome now. If it came out at Best Buy, if you went to Best Buy and saw it.

That's incredible, DVD collection. It depends how much it was. I would buy it just to see what a time-traveling device it would be. I bought The Greatest American Hero, or I got The Greatest American Hero on Netflix the other day because I just liked it so much as a kid.

And now I watch it, I just like the theme song. Yeah, is it like that? Because I remember as a kid, I really loved that show. The flying is so like... So stupid. That noise is so stupid that i can't believe i was ever fooled or ever amazed it's like time travel you can go back and see what amused you when you

were little and be baffled this is the whole theory on why why kids should not should see gentle porn because gentle you know what I mean because I grew up like finding a Playboy magazine and then just batting off to it until I found another magazine

that was you know kids today are going straight to internet they're going to be fucked do Australian guys

find their magazines in the woods as well yeah in the bush we find them yeah isn't that incredible and I always used to think

that some adults hidden it here but I look back at it no just some other kid hid it there in the bush it we find them, yeah. Yeah, isn't that incredible? And I always used to think that some adult's hidden it here, but I look back at it, no, just some other kid hid it there in the bush. It's part of the simulation. It was programmed that way. Yeah, it's almost like it grew there. You're supposed to find it. It's native to that environment. I remember masturbating so young.

I was about seven years old. Seven. And I found this picture. My mother was the only woman in the house. I went through one of her magazines. So we didn't have underwear catalogs sitting around like a Victoria's Secret catalog or something like that would have been good. But I found this picture in my mom's women's magazine. It was just this naked titnet. And this magazine never had a naked titnet before, right? So I cut

this picture out. I cut this picture out. I masturbated to this picture from about 7 till 10. Just one tit? Just this one tit, right? And I found out at 10, because I was watching the news, it was a picture of a woman having a mammogram. Whoa. Yeah, but I didn't know as a kid. And I used to think, because the other tit was in a machine being squeezed down. I was like, that must be some sex machine.

It's amazing that it kept your interest for so long. Yeah, I stole the lingerie thing out of the Sears catalog from my friend's mom's Sears catalog. And I used to keep it and I put it in my books and hide it in a book and pull it out and look at it and masturbate and shit. I remember being... Remember the lingerie in the catalogs,

the old catalogs when you used to have catalogs? I remember there being... I used to buy porn on video and then when I went to university and I was like 22 or something like that, they used to keep on sending me the catalogs because I bought a couple of videos years ago and I used to keep them and they were just like little pictures of scenes from the movies they were trying to, I never bought anything, but the catalogs, once a month,

that was a big day. It was free and I was broke. I was fucking happy. I always used to keep my roommate one catalog behind so he would get the new month's one after I got my new month's one. It's funny that what you would want then to see naked girls, to look at naked girls, that people would deny that of you. They say you're not ready for that yet. I mean, that's what it's all about. It's about that what you would want then to see naked girls, to look at naked girls, that people would deny that of you. They say you're not ready for that yet.

I mean, that's what it's all about. It's about protecting kids. But clearly you have these sexual crazy urges, and everyone's just in denial about it. Nope, you're only 16. You can't buy a Playboy. Like, you can't even buy a Playboy when you're 16. You can't even just let me see a little titty.

I don't even need to see a vagina. Can I just see a leg? But they put it in movies when you're 16. Is can't even just let me see a little titty. I don't even need to see a vagina. Can I just see a leg? But they put it in movies when you're 16. Is it got to come in Britain? No, but you have to go with the person. On page three of the newspapers, there's a topless girl. Yeah. Just in the normal newspaper.

Always, right? Yeah. That's good. 16-year-olds can't go to the movies that show tits. Tits is not PG. You can't. Something like Porky's has a bit of tit in it. Isn't Porky's R?

Wouldn't Porky's be R? I think back then it was. Well, we in Australia call it M, which is 16 and up. Oh. Yeah, maybe that is R, yeah. Mature. Is that what it is? Yeah, but we have R as well, but Mature is 16.

I think R is. Then R is 18. There's 17, I think, is R. Isn't that it? And NC-17 is for you, no matter what, you can't even go with an adult unless you're 17. My father's so deprived of being able to see tits because my mom's such a big, hefty woman,

and he just, but he's still like a horny sort of bloke, my dad, right? So when we were kids, if me and my two brothers were sitting watching, let's say the movie Labyrinth, we were watching like a very innocent puppet related film all at once during the film and he'd be in the house we'd all go oh there look at those tits whoa within seconds my dad would just casually walk out and sit and watch the rest of the film with what are you all watching? He'd go all the way through the film and then he'd go, oh,

I might watch the beginning of that film. I missed what happened in the beginning. You had trolled him. You had trolled, oh, that's hilarious. And you let him sit through the whole movie yeah yeah so we'd all go off and play and then he'd have to sit through the first 30 minutes again

oh that's fucking funny just in the hope because it was gonna come it's gonna happen you guys should have filmed that that would make a hilarious short film just explain it and now from there with the time code still searching

we could still do it now I could see it it's We could still do it now. You should still do it. To this day. Oh, my dude. I could see it. It's filmed. The light of the TV is what's on him, right? A little time code in the bottom.

Show him 10 minutes later, 20 minutes later, 30 minutes later. Look at us watching. That could be hilarious. That could be hilarious if you explain it to the camera. He found some porn magazines. I do a routine to the camera. He found some porn magazines. I do a routine on this, but he found some porn magazines under my... My mother found some porn magazines under my bed, and she put them in the bin, because that's like...

You know, you put them in the bin. And then she didn't say anything to me. She just let me off scot-free on it. She didn't, like, get angry or anything, so I felt like I got away with it. But my porn drawer was empty, right? And I worked at a news agency, so I used to collect them from the bins out the back of the news agency, so I had piles and piles of them.

I was a paper boy, right? So I was in my dad's workbench, and I was hammering a nail down. I look under the bench, and there's all my porn magazines. They're all dog-eared, and they're like lettuce leaf on them and stuff. Because what happened was my dad's got to take, he's got to take the bin to the end of the driveway on a Wednesday. Right. He opened the garbage bin, saw all the porn.

He recovered it all and took it off to his shed where he could masturbate. So I collected it all back up and I took it back to my drawer just because, you know, the circle of life, right? And my dad comes in, I'm in the living room, he comes out and goes, Jim, were you in my garage? And I said, and I go, yeah. And he goes, you know, I have those magazines.

And I went, neither are you. And I was about 13 at the time, so I said, neither are you. And I was about 13 at the stage. I said, neither are you. And he went, oh, can I have four? Right? And there was an actual moment where I start with my dad and I had a debate when I was 13 over, all right, you can have a hustler, a penthouse, a playboy, you know. Brian, where's your phone? It's not my phone. It's your phone. Brian, you can't leave your phone by's not my friend is your friend Brian you

can't leave your phone by the thing how many times do we have to tell you get that crazy zappity zap that might airplanes crash man no I can't leave that shit right by the mp3 player well you're getting text would you rather kiss Nancy Reagan on the lips or the tit how old is she she? Right now. Oh, tit, definitely. No, lips. Lips. Lips. I don't want to suck on an old lady's titty,

like a really old, like, what is she, 89 or something? I don't know. But you could either say you kissed her on the boob or on the lips. No, I'd give her... How about you not tell anybody? I'd give her... Keep that shit to yourself.

I'd give her a respectful kiss on the mouth. Yeah, me too. Respectful. Yeah, a nice little... You look very nice today, Nancy. I look awesome. Sorry your husband's dead. I tweeted to Deepak Chopra today.

I rarely do, but sometimes that dude says shit that's so ridiculous, I want to tweet back to him. He goes, when you reach pure awareness, you will have no problems. Therefore, there will be no need for solutions. And I wrote back, if you reach pure awareness and someone kicks you in the balls you still have problems that is true and that's a fact you can put shit like that on twitter someone's gonna want to kick you in the balls how dare you how dare you how dare you Indian dude. It's like some girl type character. See, that's exactly what he's saying. So you can reach pure awareness, but your wife still has cancer, say.

You know what I mean? But you can be completely aware of it, but that doesn't mean the problem's gone. Well, he's saying you have no problems. Yeah, I say he's full of shit there. Yeah, pure awareness, you will have no problems. That shit's ridiculous. Yeah, yeah. You can't just do what you want to do. You have to take care of things that are going your fucking roof has a hole in

it guess what bitch you got a problem i don't give a fuck what you tell me that's a problem you got to get that shit fixed not just being aware of it actually makes the problem worse if you're doing nothing well i will meditate under the dripping water fuck you go get that shit fixed you're ruining your house dummy you got a problem face it deep rock you're talking nonsense god damn it that's the problem I have with all these dudes. They talk a lot of hippie nonsense. They say a lot of shit that they think that women who just hit menopause want to hear. When they really start getting into yoga and just try to find the light and try to find happiness and get into flowers, raising flowers.

That's when he comes in. Get into flowers. Raising flowers. That's when he comes in. A guy like that can just swoop in on that I want to be happy market. And just start ping ponging it back and forth with all these nonsense sentences. When you reach pure awareness, you'll have no problems. Bitch, stop with that.

Unfollow that guy. No, I will not. I want to hear more craziness. Yeah, yeah. There's a really funny moment on YouTube where he got uh some some guy who's writing a physics book with stephen hawkins like was correcting the things he was saying the guy was like like you you're you're saying like you're saying things that don't make sense to me what are you correcting stephen hawkins no no no the guy who was writing a book with stephen hawkins deepak chopra was trying to explain something to him like he's quantum

distant quantum that and so the guy goes yeah i i know what all those words mean but i'm not quite sure what you're saying because he's not really saying anything he's just fucking man the the infinite the impossible the consciousness of the quantum consciousness he just he could just say things like that and you you just leave it up to what, well, I guess in some sort of a broad sense he might have made a sentence there. Yeah, yeah. And there might be some point that he has

that I can't quite grasp. But much more likely, it's word salad that's designed to sound spiritual. Word salad. That's what it is. He threw a bunch of cool words together and this guy called him on it. This guy was like,

it was so brilliant the way the guy said it yeah i know what all those words mean i'm not making that up the way that guy talks you guys don't know who he is no i know who he is you know he was he was killed by uh tupac by biggie biggie yeah biggie killed him why did i go to work better for him say too it was a shooting night anyway both of them supposedly that's hey can i can i plug my better if I didn't say two. She said the guy's mean. I fucked it up completely. It was a shug night anyway, both of them, supposedly. Hey, can I plug my gig tonight? Fuck yeah.

It's going to happen in two hours. I'm at the Canyon Club in... Agora Hills. Agora Hills. So come on down. It starts in two hours. It's a great place, too. Go to the barbecue place first.

What time does the show there? It's almost seven. I think it's like... Is it an eight o'clock start, is it? Oh, right. The show starts when you get there, son. Yeah, that's it. Let them know it's fun and shit.

There's one of my favorite comics in the UK, Canadian comic Tom Stade. Check him out. Really, really fucking funny guy. He's opening for you? No, no, no, no, no. He's just a guy who still lives in Britain. But he once said that he was,

I remember when I was a young comic, and I was in a car with him. We were going to a gig, and I said, fuck, we're not going to make it. We're late. We're late for the gig. And he went, We are the gig. And that stuck with me.

Yeah, that's what it's up. Yeah, I've been in many times where we were really close to being late for shows. Ari, in particular, would get very nervous. Duncan, when Duncan would have to open, Fuck, man, I've got, just drop me off in front, don't even park. I'm like, dude, it's 8.05, we're good. So the show's five minutes late.

Who gives a fuck? If they're really mad, like, the audience is gonna be mad. What kind of asshole would be upset at a show starting five minutes late? Things happen. I tell you what, I went and saw Billy Joel in concert, which is how all good stories start. I went and saw Billy Joel in concert, which is how all good stories start.

I went and saw Billy Joel in concert in Sheffield in the north of England. I was in the third row. I got the tickets rather late, but I don't think he's popular in Sheffield. Anyway, so this woman looks at her watch in front. She's sitting next to her husband, and she's just got the shits, right? It's like 10 past 8. The show's meant to start at 8. her husband and she's just got the shits, right? It's like 10 past eight. The show's meant to start at eight. Right.

And she went, this is fucking bullshit, right? And the husband's gone, yeah, don't worry. It'll be fine. And she said, no, we got here on time. He should get here on time as well.

And I thought, oh, maybe they're missing a friend. Right? She goes over and speaks to security guy and Wednesday's going to start with 10 past eight, 10 minutes late. Wow. And the security guy's just like, fuck off.

He doesn't care. Then Billy Joel comes out 15 minutes late probably, which is normal time. Billy Joel comes out and then the whole audience stands up and she just sits there and yells out, I paid for a seat. Then that husband was just dragged away and i i still think to this day that's the biggest cunt i've ever seen and i've only seen about five sentences for i felt like grabbing that guy going just get out of this leave run you don't need this

woman anymore she's horrible that's the the worst you've ever seen really it was that bad it just just in just a short amount of time where i thought this person person is just evil to the core. Yeah, intolerable. Some people don't even realize how intolerable they are. But I would think that after shows, you see a lot of those, right? Yeah. You do photos after gigs, do you? Sure, yeah. Yeah.

You ever get that person who just wants to headlock you or something? Yes. A guy asked me if he can carry me. Yeah. Oh, I've had that one. Can I hold you? No. Guys are always asking to choke me.

That's normal. Because a lot of jujitsu guys come to shows, like, can i hold you like no guys are always asking to choke me that's normal because a lot of jujitsu guys come to shows like can i get you in a rear naked but i don't trust anybody man yeah you can't just get my back like that son no i i uh i don't get that as much dudes will ask all sorts of weird shit one guy asked me to bend over in front of him in louisville He goes, will you bend over in front of him and I'll make it like I'm spanking you? I go, what? He goes, I'm going to be behind you.

You're going to bend over and make it like I'm spanking you. I go, do you really think that anybody would say yes to that? Any person you don't know? He would say, yeah, go ahead. I'll bend over like you're having sex with me? Like that kind of bend over? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, please. How many times have you taken a photo with a person after a gig and you you put you i did the arm around and the smile and the point to the

face maybe i got a few poses that i had down the serious one the happy one the good yeah right so how many times have you like put your arm around a couple of girls and then one of them just grabs your cock right does happen yeah yeah they just grab your cock and like as soon as the photo happens it goes honk on it like that because they want to have the cool photo and you sort of go huh thanks yeah you know what i mean like you're just like yeah thanks for that but imagine if a male like did that to a female act just grab the tit just oh yeah you would be grab her pussy yeah yeah yeah it just went bang finger grab a shit would be like grabbing a guy's ass yeah that would be the same would it yeah no no grabbing a girl's be like Grabbing a guy's ass Yeah That would be the same Would it

Yeah no no Grabbing a girl's ass Is like grabbing a guy's ass Yeah I think if a girl Grabs my dick I'll automatically Just start fingering Her pussy

The women that have This confidence Are normally like A big jersey chick With like You know these aren't You know where you're like I always feel that

Grabbing a girl's ass Is way worse than a girl grabbing a guy's ass because it's not like she can rape you. A guy grabbing a girl's ass is a physical thing. I'm not a good fighter. You're a good fighter. You think a lot of girls could rape you? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Plenty. Plenty. Tons. No, I think. It's happened several times. I almost got raped last night, actually. How dare you, bro? No, I swear to God. Stopons. It's happened several times. I almost got raped last night, actually. How dare you, bro? No, I swear to God.

Stop lying. There was this girl that was at the comedy store. There's tons of witnesses of this. She comes up to me, and she's talking to me, and she goes, oh, you're a bartender, too. And I'm like, no, I'm not a bartender. And then we did a shot, though. And then she just fucking comes in and tries to kiss me. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, what the fuck?

And she's like, I just got out of rehab three days ago. I'm not supposed to be drinking right now. I was raped when I was a kid and just started going off on like a million things. And now you're dying. So you're hooked. So three days out of rehab, she's already drunk again. Is she in your favorites yet?

No. I hid. I was like, I have to go to the bathroom and I ran in the main bathroom. I'm still creeped out by his American voice. That's all I was thinking. Why don't you do it again? I was like, this story's not going to have any punchline.

You're not going to pay this off. She's not going to rape you. She didn't rape you, man. She didn't rape you at all. No. She tried to, though. But you were in place. All she did was give you a kiss.

No, no. The whole time she was trying to grab you. You do know what sex is and rape is, right? What is it? Yeah, it's more than kissing. Well, I mean, not rape. She's not trying to throw me on know it's sexies and rape is right was it yeah it's more than kissing well I mean not rape she's not trying to

throw me on the ground and rape me but there's definitely a difference between like rape I'm not saying real rape

diet rape like I just think it's way creepier when a dude grabs a girl's ass it's physical yeah of course

there is a certain and you can't do anything about it and if I wanted to rape you I probably could get away with it if there was nobody around that's what a guy's saying when he grabs i'm trying to think through my mind if i've ever like pinched a girl that i haven't known quite well's ass as they walk by i think if you're a person and you're you know you're like you don't

even know this other person and you just reach over and grab a girl's ass and squeeze it like that that's like a big violation that's like a big violation of space man imagine that was your sister or your daughter imagine if you watch someone do that to your daughter reach over and grab your daughter's ass that's what it would wow nasty fucking violation that is and you know you don't think about it because to you it's not a guy's daughter it's some hot 20 year old but meanwhile behind her is her fucking dad and you reach over and grab her ass that shit happens that's a creepy moment for people man when you realize what what it is when somebody just reaches over and grabs you when you don't know them i don't have a daughter so right now it's

kind of hot if i imagine my sister or my daughter being really hot some guy just grabbing it slow i'll tell you what i don't have a child either so you can imagine grabbing my daughter's ass yeah just whatever she want to make her look like. I'm fine with it. As long as it's imaginary, Brian. My daughter and your daughter, right, they're making out. They're making out now, the two of them. Oh, yeah.

That's hot. You guys are going to get us closed down twice in one day. Hey, our daughters are making out. Anti-government talk, pedophilia. My daughter has a touch of the accent, but not quite because she lived here, but we take her on holidays. My daughter has a yeast infection. She has a yeast infection.

I don't want your daughter near my daughter. Stop it. We're going to lose sponsors. We're going to lose viewers. People are going to commit suicide. You guys are having your artificial, fake, fictional daughters engage in immoral and illegal things and my daughter's upset now and she's cutting herself she's a cutter because of your daughter

i can't have that on my podcast she's a cutter she's not happy what is god when did that start when the cutting started i think it's been around for a while but it's always when you meet that girl where you look at the forearms and you're like whoa you know she's gonna be good in bed but you're yeah

I had a buddy who found these marks on a girl like after he had dated her for a while and then he like saw one of her arms was like sliced up and he goes it was a window into madness he said all of a sudden

I just went what the fuck is this and he goes and then I realized what the fuck. He goes, and they were like lions, man. I can't believe I hadn't noticed them before. And he goes, and all of a sudden, I was like, holy shit. I went out with a girl, long sleeves, long sleeves, long sleeves.

And then after a few weeks, and then I saw it. Because every time sex was in, like, you had to be in the light light to see it. And it was just these little, like thousands of these little white marks. Woo! Doesn't Lindsay Lohan allegedly do that? Really? That's what she always wears as well.

I had a friend who did it, who she told me about it. She's quite a successful lady now. And she explained it to me as you're depressed, you blame yourself, and everyone's telling you that you shouldn't blame yourself, you're just sad, why do you hate yourself? And you can never answer that question. But if you cut yourself, you're like, that's why I hate myself, because I'm a fuck-up.

Who would do that to themselves? I should hate myself, I've just cut myself. It gives them the excuse to... It's so amazing to me that we spend so much time worrying about shit that's going on overseas and these other countries, and so little time worrying about how many people are just getting raised

in some crazy, fucked-up way. How many people are completely unqualified to be having children? How many children are suffering under the guidance and parental leadership of these fuckheads? Someone should invest something or something. It's probably got to be done by everybody all at once together. There's no way the government could fix the problem

of stupidity and craziness and abuse in this country. There's no way the government could fix the problem of stupidity and craziness and abuse in this country. There's no way. But at least make some sort of effort to slow it down. Yeah, yeah. You know? Children, it's almost always something fucked up happens to children, and then they start doing shit like cutting themselves or a lot of other other disturbing shit a lot of it is related to to sexual abuse the guy from hoarder said whenever shit's involved if he goes to a house and people

are storing their shit or or shitting in diapers and leaving them piled up it's always sexual abuse yeah yeah fuck crazy man we gotta fix that there's gotta be a way to fix the human just fix the animals trying to fuck kids is really the best way isn't it the best way is you know you've got kids ugly no that way that's geez that's like bad haircuts and horrible clothing we've got to figure out a way to filter every human being through some sort of analysis something that lets you know like how fucked up they are and why you know if we could ever measure got to figure out a way to filter every human being through some sort of analysis something that lets you know like how fucked up they are and why you know if we could ever measure with like a machine psychological fucked up in this you know if there's a machine you could you could

talk all the shit you want but i'm going to send you through a machine and the machine comes out like oh no no no no no this guy's fucking crazy that would be bad because then the government would use that machine and say even though this guy's talking radically, logically and normally, we know in the back of his head that he's a suicide bomber. They would cheat with the machine. Yeah, they would cheat.

Just like the voting machines, the fucks. I've just bought a home and going through the mortgage process, I found to be very stressful. The only reason why I mention this is because of the terrorist thing. They asked to see, they sat me down because I'm not a citizen, right? So they asked to see what all my checks were deposited,

my big money checks that had gone in there, what were they and why did I get these checks, right? To see if I was a terrorist. First of all, I had to be an idiot to, but they were all like the chuckle hut bananas like it was all comedy related and i was going that one's comedy as well that one's also comedy yes no that one's comedy who's caroline she's comedy as well that's hilarious but i just didn't yeah i don't know if americans have to that, but I was asked whether it was to fund terrorist stuff.

Wow. Wow. That's fascinating. What's the point? I'd have to be the biggest fucking idiot terrorist in the world to go, comedy club, comedy club. Now that one, our creator. That one is.

That one's a bad one. Yeah, right? Like it's all comedy clubs and sometimes training in the mountains of Turkey. You ever see those training videos where the dudes are running with, like, fucking the rifles over their heads? They have, like, the traditional Afghani outfits on. It's really fascinating, man.

Fascinating, those training footages, the terrorist training footages. They're like, you bitches are out of shape. Like, look at you. What kind of fucking killer? Oh, no, it is like a little league team trying to play the yankees yeah exactly we're getting ready we have got your bats now look at this with our homemade ball yeah our bat we did not have a ball so we have got rubber bands and what tape and we have got the tape over and over and it's covered it in some yuck one of the big ufc fighters got popped for uh steroids this

week not steroids but um he uh test alistair over him tested his testosterone to estrogen was 14 to 1 wow yeah which is like normal a normal person is one to one and they allow 4 to 1 right and Nevada allows 6 to 1 because that used to be the standard until recently so I shouldn't have all of his hair

falling out no no dude but he looks like a god damn superhero he looks like a superhero in a movie Alistair Overeem is not gay

I'm not gay or anything but the best built sexy you're not gay or anything you're not anything you're not anything when I'm talking about a man it's anything right now there's nothing sexual about what I'm not gay or anything, but the best built. You're not gay or anything? You're not anything. You're not gay or anything. When I'm talking about a man, it's anything right now.

There's nothing sexual about what I'm saying. But he's absolutely the most unrealistically built human I've ever seen. Like if you see him. Lou Ferrigno type of. Yeah, but the perfect size. Like the guy, like he's smaller than like Lou Ferrigno, but ridiculously big. You see him, you're like, what? They call him Uberim.

Like, ridiculous build. But he used to fight at 205. He used to be a much smaller, much skinnier guy, and he packed on all this weight. And so they don't know what caused this guy to test so high, but it's most likely that he was supplementing his body's natural hormones. I thought most of them were probably on some type of injection. I would wonder what the real numbers are, man.

I would wonder. But they're doing things like this now, and they're going to find out. They're going to catch a lot of people because what they're doing is they're doing it randomly. Like they show up for a press conference. No one told them they were going to be drug tested, and then boom, all of a sudden the Nevada State Athletic Commission has taken samples from them. Wow.

So they didn't have a chance to prepare for it. In the past, what they would do is they would try to cycle off of it, but some people didn't. And the people that didn't fucked it up for everybody else because then people started testing positive. And then people started overturning. A few fights have been overturned because of it. That should be a reality show. Dana should make that where they just jump in like, all right, we're going to test you now.

That's a terrible idea. That's a terrible idea. I don't want to see that. I think they're going to have to figure out how many people are actually doing this stuff. I know for sure people have been caught, so for sure people are doing it. The estimations vary.

Some people say half. Some people say almost all estimations vary. Some people say half. Some people say almost all are doing something. Some people say it's a small percentage. You would have to go fight camp to fight camp and get guys on some sort of an anonymous poll where they were honest with you but knew that they weren't going to get in trouble for it. Even then, I don't think people would be smart to tell the truth it's just you know there's there's a there's a long-standing tradition in almost every professional sport where people take things that make them better that's a fact and it's because they want to get better at that sport and their body just can't keep up the work pace can't keep up the workload you know you can't a guy get as big as

mark mcguire got without steroids yeah. But that motherfucker better beat in ham sandwiches every 15 minutes and doing squats and deadlifts. And he's not going to have a lot of time for baseball. That's a goddamn power lifter physique. And he got it by just slamming that needle in and pumping in that fucking Superman juice. And that's the way you get good at baseball. And that bat felt like nothing to him.

He got up. That guy was fucking massive when he was the home run king. When it was him and Sammy Sosa were doing back and forth, both of them looked like fucking superheroes, man. Just giant muscles. And they would go up and pank. And these fucking balls would go flying through the air into parking lots and shit.

And everybody loved it, but they didn't love how they did it. And it's crazy that Mark McGuire is the only one who really kind of got off the hook about it. He admitted it to get a coaching job after he retired, but he had shrunk down to a normal-sized person. Look at Barry Bonds now. He looks like at the beginning of his career. Yeah, he slimmed down. Yeah, yeah, he slimmed down. Yeah, yeah, he just. Well, you know, he was probably doing a lot of crazy shit in order to get better as he got older.

You know, that's when you're in your 40s and you're just smashing balls or like Roger Clemens was just throwing crazy heat. You know, he got better. It's weird. It's weird how you can dip like your age. It starts to show the signs of age and then you just charge right back up. And everybody's like, well, that's terrible. you can dip. It starts to show the signs of age, and then you just charge right back up. And everybody's like, well, that's terrible. He's cheating. But I'm like, God damn it.

Look how crazy it is, though, that there's something that you can take that makes you better at sports. And isn't being better at sports, being more athletic, isn't being more vibrant a sign of being healthy? a sign of being healthy. So shouldn't we be looking at this guy and go, isn't it amazing that modern science has allowed Barry Bonds to actually get better as he gets older? And maybe allow him to take a little bit of this and a little bit of that as long as he's not getting too crazy. Because, look, without that, he was a very good baseball player anyway.

But with that, Jesus fucking Christ, did shit get fun at the ballpark. And you look at Barry, he seems fine. You know? I mean, no one's stepping in to stop, you know, Ralphie May from eating too much. There's no one from the government that's stepping in in the name of comedy and stopping him from eating too much. Is steroids a personal choice? But is that making him better at comedy, though? Is it a personal choice? Roid rage is real.

My analogy was a terrible analogy. Forget it. It didn't make sense. But what I was trying to say was that I guess it does make him way better at the sport. But, I mean, why wouldn't something that makes you better at a sport be legal? Shouldn't it be, like, used properly? It seems to me that there's a lot

of people that as they get older... Isn't there arguments that it gives you cancer or whatever? But everything does. What the fuck doesn't give you cancer? They could say anything gives you cancer at this point. I think a lot of people think cell phones, but there's no cases of it. I don't think there's anybody who's had a brain tumor from a cell phone. Have you heard that?

There's people who claim they did. Really? Have there? There's people who've gotten brain tumors, but they're not doctors who are saying this, but they've gone, oh, I think it's because of... There's so much toxic shit in a person's environment. It's so possible if you're not careful with your diet and careful with your health.

You know, if you could be in the... You would live someplace where you don't even realize it and the whole town's getting poisoned by some chemical leak or some shit. That's happened a bunch of times that's real common it's very difficult out there jim jeffries it's it is in this country it's very difficult more chemicals in the food is it you find that uh food tastes different here than australia no i find that i find it harder in this country to keep my weight off because the chemicals and eating sort of the same amount, I find...

What is it different? What kind of shit do you eat? Well, I think most beef in Australia is just grass-fed. That isn't just like... Which is the best for you. Yeah, that isn't just an option. I think that's just what beef is in Australia. And things like MSG is just illegal.

It's not over here. Trans fats are just... It should be illegal. It's just illegal. It's not over here. Trans fats are just illegal. It should be illegal. It's just illegal. It's so ridiculous that that's not illegal. Well, guess what, boys? So should cigarettes, and you're both smokers. Yeah.

I mean, cigarettes is, you know, if neither one of you could be hooked on cigarettes, wouldn't you choose to not be hooked on them? No, but the thing about MSG is different. I actually have a little reaction I get to MSG. I feel a bit twitchy if I've eaten it I know I've eaten it so I when I go into a Chinese restaurant now I have to go do you have MSG and they'll lie to you sometimes and sometimes they'll lie to me right right and how do you know do you I just feel a little bit on edge just afterwards like my nerves are a bit you know what is it the

what's the official medical um I don't know just It's allergic to MSG. It's allergic. It's a very sort of, you know where you get that tingly feeling in your jaw? Like that. What's that? That happens to me. Bono sodium glutamate. Is that what it is? All it is is a fucking tenderizer or whatever.

I thought it was like a flavor enhancer. I think it makes meat softer and makes vegetables greener. Huh, really? You know what I mean? It gives it color and meat. Anyway, it's illegal in the restaurant. Trans fats are illegal in the restaurant. These are things you just don't fucking need.

Well, we have a real problem in this country where the giant corporations have essentially completely bypassed the whole system of government and just controlled politicians. I mean, they just essentially just buy people out. And that's what's been done in this country for the last few days. Probably, you know, who knows? The argument is forever. But the point is, right now, the way things stand today, there's a lot of shit that's bad for you that's legal.

There's a lot of shit. There's a lot of goddamn painkillers that are fucking terribly addictive and they're passing them out like cookies there's a lot of shit in this country that's that's fucked up it's you know it's a it's a big mess and what the hell you know fucking fix this you know what'd you do j Jim Jeffries, as an outsider? What would I do? What, to fix America? Yeah. I'd bring in health care. I'm a big believer in health care.

Health care would do it? Health care, I believe, is essential in a modern society. I can't listen to any more. I've lived in Britain where the health care is good, and I've lived in Australia where the health care is great. And the arguments that certain republican and on talkback radio where they go i won't have as good health care and and what about my great health care i have now and then i'll have you don't have you can still get private health care cover this is what people don't get you can still get the good private stuff but you won't you won't have an ailment and not yeah you'll never know the

price of one of your ailments. Right. That's the whole thing. You'll never know the price. So at the moment, I had a couple of moles cut on my back because I had some cancerous moles in my back cut out, right? The doctor I was with, the dermatologist, was like, it's $1,400 to this.

And I was thinking, that can't fucking be $1,400 to do, right? So I went and checked with another dermatologist, and they said 500 bucks right now if i just had what happens with uh private health care cover in britain you get everyone gets the same doctors but you're if you're just using um public health care you put on a waiting list so they might look at your mall and go all right you're two months before you can get that cut out right where if you have the private stuff on top you go straight to the beginning of the list but i never know how much i'm paying or how much they're charging or whatever so it's regulated a lot better over here it feels like getting quotes

from fucking mechanics yeah it's totally like that especially dentists out here are the worst like dentists almost are trying to upgrade you with certain things that you possibly you pretty much don't need yeah going oh you think you need a feeling here because they weren't a few it's fucking bullshit yeah my dad's trying to give me an invisible line yeah mine was trying to give me I got a little bit of crooked teeth yeah my bottom a couple of my crooked like fuck out of your bitch there's a lot oh it's like invisible braces yeah you're gonna get braces you better get just regular braces no some dudes some dudes got braces and it helped him a lot like Frank shamrock got braces and it helped them a lot.

Like Frank Shamrock got braces, but his teeth were fucked up. My teeth are not that fucked up. Remember when Tom Cruise did it a few years ago, like five years ago? Yeah. But it was always his teeth before. I don't remember ever looking at his teeth like, oh, Tom's fucked. I don't know. He's probably crazy.

If you're that famous, you must be completely out of your fucking mind. How do you beat Tom Cruise? That guy can't go anywhere in the world without someone knowing who he is. And yet, he's in a crazy cult organization, and yet there's rumors of him being gay. I mean, you want to talk about like a dark circle of secrets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If Tom Cruise really is gay, that would be the ultimate reality show. And it's a rumor that people just never shut up.

And I will say even people in the industry. Yeah. Oh, dude, I've heard it from so many people that... I've heard people say that they thought he was out. Him and Travolta. Yeah, exactly. Especially Travolta. Travolta, I think, is...

They caught him with a photo of him kissing a guy. A photo of him kissing a guy getting on his plane. Yeah. And he was the nanny. And he was like, come on,'s like come on you know i mean maybe this is just weird like that he could just be but there's a lot of people that say they've had sex with him yeah you know and he's just whatever man let the guy be gay who gives a shit yeah i don't give a shit if he's gay i would be happier for the guy if he would just come out you know nobody cares it's goddamn john travolta people love him they love him from saturday him. They love him from Saturday Night Fever.

They love him from Pulp Fiction. They would love him. We personally know, of course we're not going to say who, but we personally know comedians who are gay who keep it under wraps as well. It's the saddest shit ever. And I always think,

comics especially, we're meant to be the most honest of them all. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? We're not playing characters. We're playing ourselves. I feel like, and there's some of them where. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I mean, we're not playing characters. We're playing ourselves. I feel like, and there's some of them where... Like Eddie F.

No. Yeah, no. Here's my, I'm going to say something. You tell me if you agree. I find that the ones that keep it in the closet, they always have a problem with creativity. They always have a problem with coming up with new material because they're not really alive in their own life like free and open and you know they're not they're not unrestricted

so it's it's more difficult for them to come up with material especially because they can't draw on real life experiences the gay stuff so they're like really like in this weird pocket of bullshit well there's the ones that are gay that you're not even allowed to say it to them and then there's the ones that amongst the comedy community we can all say the person's gay. Right, right, right. But, you know, there's a fairly famous older black gentleman who we all know. And he gets angry if you... Oh, yeah, he'll get very mad.

Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah. He's old school. He'll fight you. Yeah, he'll fight you on it. And you're like... There's more than one of those, by it and you're like there's more than one of those

by the way there's more than one of those I could have been talking about either one of them yeah I think it might be

harder in the black community and that might be very ignorant of me to say that but I think it might be harder in the black

community of that generation I'd be willing to guess yes I don't know though yeah I don't know but I think if I had a time machine

I don't think I'd go back in time To the black community Of that generation I never remember an episode Of Good Times Where they went Oh here's Kay Barry

Like Yeah Dynamage Yeah right Oh my god I don't know Maybe It would suck though

Dom Herrera is so fucking funny He said I wish I was gay Just so I could come out He's so But he really is that guy he does not give a fuck like he's not pretending to knock he really doesn't give a fuck so when he says something i wish i was gay just so i could come out it's like extra funny it is like an extra little treat they get in life they're coming out coming out yeah and have everybody embrace you we love you for your personality. Yeah, I'd love to have people

ring me up one day and go, I still love you. Just for no reason. People who haven't said they love me ever, just to say they still love me once, that would be fucking awesome. Yeah, I think, and the people that you lose

if you're a gay guy and you come out of the closet, do you really want that guy in your life? No, you don't want them. Yeah. But see, then you get the dumb one. Say you lose a granddad, but then a few years later, he's like, you know what? I want to be back in your life again.

And then you get another little present on top. If you're granddad. But then what if he just talks about it while you're fishing? How many dicks did you suck last week? Tell your grandpa. Yeah. How many? You fucking freak.

You can't just be with a girl. Is it really that bad? Girls are pretty. All of a sudden, you're stuck. You can't just be with a girl. Is it really that bad? Girls are pretty. All of a sudden, you're stuck on a boat with an angry grandpa. He has a remarkable truth to that. Girls are very pretty. He is right. A lot of them are.

That's the confusing thing about homosexuality. What are they thinking? Well, the confusing thing about heterosexuality. I will fight for their right to think that way, but I'll never understand it. The confusing thing about heterosexuality is what the fuck for their right to think that way, but I'll never understand it. The confusing thing about heterosexuality is what the fuck are the girls seeing us? That's ridiculous. Yeah, I don't understand why anyone's fucking men. On either

side. No one should be fucking men. Yeah, it doesn't look like fun to me. Especially when you get into weird shit that you'll never understand. Like, girls who want to be choked. Like, can you even relate to that? We had a contortionist last night on the 90s show, and she can, like, put her leg up here, and she likes to be choked. Like, can you even relate to that? We had a contortionist last night on the 90s show and she can like put her leg up here and she likes to be choked

while fucking like... Wow. That's crazy. She likes to triangle herself. Yeah, triangle herself. She puts her leg over her shoulders? Yeah. Does she lock it up?

Yeah. Whoa. She triangles herself. Well, that's good because then... Wow. Because you have a choke to go and then you get that bit where... Oh, their eyes are just rolled back a bit

and you got to... Oh. eyes are just rolled back a bit. And you got to, oh. I'm trying to think if I could triangle myself. I don't think I could. I don't think you could. You got to see it, man. I'm pretty flexible. You can bend her legs up and put it behind her back.

Even though you're flexible, I don't think your legs are long enough. Yeah. A girl's leg is longer than a male's leg proportionally. Well, not only that, there's also the body's thinner, so you can compress it more. When you've got body mass, it makes it more difficult to flatten out. Sure. But you'd have to be in some serious flex. So she chokes herself, and then what happens?

She was just showing us what her favorite thing is. While she's getting fucked? Yeah. She was telling you that? Yeah. Wow, that's a green light, son. That girl wants to fuck. Was anybody with her?

Dude, they're both. They do burlesque here in Los Angeles. And she was letting you know what position she likes to be in when she gets extremely violently fucked. Somehow I came up to that, yeah. Dude, you need to jump on that grenade. Like a loyal soldier, you need to jump on that grenade. Oh, no. Please.

Help someone. Someone. Set someone up with her. I think she has a boyfriend. Good for her. What a good kid. What a lucky fella that lad he lucked out

she's like this close she said she was this close from being able to eat her own pussy I've seen girls eat their own pussy I have seen a girl do that

it's crazy I've cut it out first defeated oh Jeffries again score I told you about it I could touch

the tip of my guys I have to piss so bad. Please talk for me. Yeah, well, actually, I've got to get going soon. Should we wrap it up? Let me piss and then we'll wrap it up. Okay. I could touch the tip of my penis with my tongue.

With your tongue. But once I do it, I'm like, this is the gayest thing I've ever... It's ridiculous, isn't it? It's like, why would anyone do that? It's... Yeah, I've never been able to do that. But I don't think i'd even i think you would do it once just to have the yeah it was like an elbow it's pretty much it

was like an elbow what like tastes like an elbow just felt like an elbow like on your tongue i can't i can't touch my elbow with my tongue whose elbows have you been licking well i guess i could yeah i could do it hey no you can't almost no not the tip so. No, you can't. Almost. No, not the tip. So you can't lick your elbow. I must have licked some other girl's elbow. Yeah, I've probably nibbled on a couple of girls. So the top of your cock tastes like a girl's elbow.

Yeah. That's good. So you have your own podcast. Now every time I lick a girl's elbow, I'm going to feel like I'm sucking a cock. You have your own podcast. I have a podcast with Eddie Ifff called Talking Shit on iTunes. Eddie's always asking me. Eddie's always telling me about how iTunes is always taking down your shit.

Did they stop? Did they back off? At the moment, we're on, but we never get on you on Noteworthy or anything like that. We never get into the little thing, but that's okay. Have you ever thought about just changing the name? Eddie's very attached to it. It's, you know, I'm not too bothered. By what?

About changing the name of the podcast because iTunes took us down a couple of times. Oh, yeah. What would you call it? Well, at the moment, it's still Talking Shit, but we just moved the S over to Talking, so it's Talking's Hit. Oh.

I used to do that with Pepsi Space when I did the pepsi space project oh talking's hit yeah that's not bad that's not that's actually good yeah talking's hit that's not bad yeah leave it there yeah everybody knows what the fuck it says it's weird isn't it can't have shit on itunes really really but what could be in the podcast anything yeah you could offend someone to see the word shit well you know what kind of clientele you do it's even that mark maron has wtf everyone knows what that means yeah you know like as long as it's abbreviated yeah but i always i always find these these

how insulting it is like when you get the the swear word that's made out of question marks and at symbols yeah you know what gets me? Freaking. This freaking guy pulls this freaking car, and someone can do that in front of kids. They can do that in front of old people. You could say freaking in front of anybody. I've seen it.

It's just a lot of kids translating. Well, it's silly. Freaking is silly. You're saying fucking. You're saying fucking. This fucking guy cut me off. You're saying that. But you're saying it to me in this weird, reserved way, by saying

freaking. The Irish have a word called feck. Feck. F-E-C-K. You're fecking idiots. You're fecking feck, feck, feck, feck. They had on CNN, they said fucking over and over and over again. Because they're playing back this tape from that Zimmerman guy.

The 911 call, the guy who supposedly, well, he did kill that Trayvon Martin kid. Right, right, right. Well, they were wondering whether or not he said, he was on, they recorded his phone call

with the 911 guy. They were wondering whether he said fucking coon. So they're playing over and over and over. They bring in all these special enhancements. And at the end, they believe he was saying fucking cold because it was raining and cold that day in Florida. But the minute they spent like 15 minutes playing this back and forth,

talking about it, and Wolf Blitzer saying, So now, ladies and gentlemen, if you have kids, please, I'd like you to ask them to leave the room right now. You're going to hear some very strong language. I'd like you to ask him to leave the room right now. You're going to hear some very strong language. We have brought in a voice expert who has analyzed Mr. Zimmerman's tone, and he plays it back.

Fucking coons. Fucking coons. Fucking coons. And then they have brought in a new guy. It's really kind of fucked up that they did this this way, because then they brought in like a new recording, and they said, well, new recording you believe that it's not that correct and the guy goes yes uh when we play it back now it says fucking cold yeah you hear the guy say fucking cold so you already had that information but you played all this other shit where it said fucking coon fucking coon you knew that's not what

he said you drew people in and kept me listening tricking me with your old information you played back your old information to rope people and you fucking whoever did that is dirty that's a dirty move fucking because i was hearing that guy my opinion changed of him as i was driving my opinion changed i'm here fucking coon i'm like whoa he's calling fucking coon really like wow this motherfucker's on phone he's on 9-1-1 and he's calling this kid a fucking coon yeah this this is what they had me believing and then i'm like wow that was probably a piece of shit and then i hear him fucking cold like oh he's kind of a bitch kind of a whiner which makes sense in the first place if you you know if even if his story is true if the 17 year old

kids on top of him beating him up i i also have to urinate dude let's get this fucking thing over with if you look for jim on twitter it's je-I-E-S. I fucked up and tweeted earlier. There's another guy who impersonates me on the other spelling. Some fake ass bitch. There's a lot of them out there, folks. Don't be one. You have the power to control your life. Right, Jim Jefferies? Yes, you certainly do.

You do? I don't know. You can give it a go. Give it a go. Check out their podcast. Check out the Death Squad where we will be doing an Ice House Chronicles tomorrow night. Tonight. Oh, tonight. What's tonight? Friday? today right now oh shit we're gonna do another podcast moments from now but by the time you hear this if you're in your car it's already taking place the only way

to hear it though is to go to death squad on itunes uh and subscribe and there's a bunch of other podcasts in there all of them at this point in time all of them are funny are you happy with all of them i'm really happy with the new ones we got. We got with Dana D'Armond and Ryan Keeley. Oh, I didn't know. Muff said it's a comic book one. And then last night we started Sex Squad back up with beautiful new hosts. How are you going to do that? Dana D'Armond.

The girl's still calling it Sex Squad. I don't care what she does. Oh, come on, Brian. You're confusing the shit out of people. She's confusing the shit out of people. I say you let them have that. I say you be a bigger, better man. It has the word squad in it.

It wasn't her show. There's a lot of people who have sex squad. I didn't really want to talk about this, but let's talk about this real quick. I go to somebody and I'm like, hey, I want to do a show on my podcast. It's a sex-based podcast. I'm going to call it Sex Cast.

Uh-huh. And then Jaden Cole goes, why don't you just call it Sex Squad? Okay. And I'm like, okay, yeah, that makes sense. And then I'm like, hey, do you want to come on the show? I...

And then do you want to come on the show, somebody else and somebody else? And then they just kind of stopped talking to me and they're like, hey, we're taking a show. Listen, I completely agree with you on that they should have said something to you and that it's not cool for them to leave and take the name.

But all I'm saying is let them. What do you care? You can have another name. They could take another name. But why? You know why? Because I created a show. I was co-host of the show. I paid for the show.

I did the show. And it was not their show to begin with. There were people on the show. I understand, but they wanted to go and do it on their own. They should have changed the name. But why wouldn't you just give it to them? Because I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck.

Okay. I would just say that the other girl... You're pretty much telling me right now, don't use that avatar on Facebook. No, that's not what I'm saying, man. Yes, you are. I'm saying, look, you were going to do this show with them. You're not going to do it anymore. You're going to do another one.

And it was supposed to not be with them 100%. It was supposed to be other people on the show. It was them sometimes. Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. And they kind of just took and squatted on the show. But didn't you only do it with them? Yeah, but Ryan Keighley and a couple other people

were supposed to be on the show at points of time. But they kind of talked me out of it type stuff okay but they so they did talk you out of it though and all the episodes they did were with just them no one time they had ari shafir but i was the host of the show okay i'm the one that first was like hey this is brian coming here from ice we're here again what's up jayden but in all fairness in all fairness and i'm on your side for this, because first of all, you can't just take a guy's show, if he's the host of it, and you tell him, and run somewhere else.

But didn't that Jaden Cole guy, didn't she actually come up with a name? I just told you exactly what happened. I said I wanted to do a podcast. It was called Sexcast. And she goes, you should call it Sex Squad, because it's on the Death Squad podcast now. Yes, I heard that. But that's her name then. She invented it. She can do whatever she fucking wants. Sex Squad because it's on the Death Squad podcast now. Yes, I heard that. But didn't,

that's her name then. She invented it. She could do whatever she fucking wants. I'm the one that fucking used it and made it, paid for it and made a podcast with it.

You're getting crazy. You're getting so angry. Without me creating Death, or me using Death Squad and her knowing Death Squad, would she have ever used the word squad? Who knows?

Exactly. So she could say that she took half of, 50% of it from me. But isn't there other sex squads online? There's fucking tons of sex squads. I didn't create sex squads. Opied in Anthony or whatever.

There's actually another company that makes sexual harassment videos for fucking schools. So it's not even something that's original anyway. I know, dude. But all I'm saying is, look, she shouldn't have taken it, for sure. No, no, you know what else she should have? You but all i'm saying is look she shouldn't

taken it for sure no no you know she shouldn't take it i can fucking sit here and show you about 50 text messages that i got from jade and james okay okay let's wait wait i could do that don't don't but i didn't okay but you know what she did she went on her website made blogs about it fucking posted shit about it i could say show the shit that she was saying don't you kind of feel bad that that's her that that's what she's doing don't you kind of feel bad that that's her? That that's what she's doing? Don't you kind of feel bad? I feel bad.

Don't you feel bad about this whole situation? I feel bad, but you know what? They're not using the sex squad name. They started the first Tuesday show. They're calling it something like sex squid or it's just spelled all funky.

No, it's sex squad. It's just spelled different. Let them do whatever the fuck they want. I don't give a shit. All that I said is why don't you please not use the word squad because it confuses a show

that we already started with sex called sex squad. Let me just clarify one thing. I don't ever like to get as worked up about a stupid name as you just did. Well, I don't like to get bashed on somebody's website. Joe, if you got bashed on somebody's website, you'd get mad, wouldn't you? You're not getting bashed by a balanced person. I certainly would. But you could have avoided this conflict with her. If she wants

to do cuntish things and take that elsewhere, you tell her no. I thought Jaden Cole was a good friend of mine. She didn't fucking say one word to me. She didn't make one call. They said that I didn't return phone calls and stuff. They made shit up about me. They can fucking eat a dick. That's unfortunate. That's called

fucking slander and I didn't even fucking do shit. But listen to all these fuckers that are coming out of your mouth. Don't even bet them half that kind of power over you, man. Just cut them loose. Cut them loose in life. Don't hate on them. Anyways, the new podcast is great. Okay. I'm glad. Call it another name.

The new sex squad? How about that? The new sex squad review? It's butt sex squad with Dana DeHanke. Dana Deer. Dana and her giant butt. Remember when she told us she has a giant butt? She's awesome. Listen, man, I don't like seeing you get all worked up like that.

I don't like lies. I understand. People talking shit on me and slander. I understand. If they would have just came to me and be like, hey, can we do this podcast somewhere else? I'd be like, you know what? Okay.

What do you like about the podcast? Listen, let's end this shit end this stupid shit alright folks this fucking goddamn show is over Jim Jeffries show starts in about

10 minutes he's not even gonna make it there on time we've kept him hanging late with some nonsense arguments

you're both in the right Jim Jeffries you're a powerful individual a hilarious stand up comic thank you very much

for being on the show. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you to the Fleshlight. You know what to do. Go to the Fleshlight, enter in the code name Rogan, save yourself 15%. Oh, shit, I said it. You heard it.

Go to onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, and use the code name Rogan to pick up your shroom tech, your alpha brain, your shroom tech immune, or your five... Well, we've got a lot of shit coming out we got kettle bells coming out too son see you

dirty freaks use the code name Rogan save 10% and we will see you guys next week lots of fun shit next week alright

lots of surprises see you guys.