The Joe Rogan Experience - #2033 - Matt Rife

Episode Date: September 12, 2023

Matt Rife is a stand-up comic and actor who has appeared in the television series "Wild 'n Out" and "Brooklyn Nine-Nine," and recorded three comedy specials. His most recent, "Matt Rife:Walking Red Flag," is available to stream on Youtube. www.mattrifeofficial.com

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. Alright, where are we recording this? Let's go, Matt Rice. Let's do it. Let's start off the show. Are you still in L.A. right now? Technically, yeah.

Technically, but you're on the road, right? I'm home three days a week, three days a month, maybe. You're just constantly touring. Yeah, it's a dream come true, man. Yeah. Careful, you're the road, right? I'm home three days a week, three days a month, maybe. You're just constantly touring. Yeah, it's a dream come true, man. Careful what you wish for. But long time coming, you know? Well, I don't know. It's not careful what you wish for.

It's just you have to learn how to manage this new thing now. It's great, though. It's not careful. It's fucking awesome. It's so much better than it not working out for you. Oh, absolutely. No, if I could sleep like a normal human being, I think I'd be just fine. Yeah, we were just talking about that.

You have serious insomnia. Have you done anything to try to mitigate that? Have you taken melatonin? Have you tried any herbal? Have you done all that stuff? I've OD'd on melatonin, dude. I've taken 30 milligrams in a night. And, you know, you build up a tolerance to melatonin. You need to stop using it for a little while. I

mean, I do have to smoke like every single night to even have a chance of falling asleep. Wow. So you just like get some of that be real Indica, some of that Cypress Hill shit. Dude, until I just am just deformed in bed. And that puts you out? I am just deformed in bed. And that puts you out? Not really. Wow. It's insane.

I can stay awake on Xanax and everything. It's almost like. That's so interesting. If you picture like a light switch to turn your brain off, I just can't. Your switch doesn't work. No. And I think it's like, after thinking about it for years, I think it's the same mechanism in my brain that allows me to think quickly on stage that keeps my brain up at night.

I just think about anything. It's not even anxiety. It's just anything. It's just frantic thoughts just bouncing around your head. Yeah, anything from middle school memories to like, man, it's crazy how leaves are green and then brown sometimes.

It's just fucking anything. My dick is like, please don't beat me again. I've tried everything. I've tried everything. Tried everything. I promise. Wow. I know. I know.

It sucks because obviously, I mean, sleep, for as much as I work out, like your muscles don't get that time to recover because they can't build. Well, and your brain doesn't get that time to recover. Oh, yeah. Your immune system suffers. Everything suffers when you don't sleep. I've made a really conscious effort over the last year to get a lot of sleep. And I've fucked it up quite a few times with the club because there's been times with the club where like at least three nights a week when I'm

performing, you know, I'm out till two o'clock in the morning. And generally I wake up around eight to start working out. And at, you know, at eight, that's like six hours. It's not quite enough. Like it's not even six hours. It's like five and a half. And I feel tired. I look tired. And I just don't have as much juice. And then when I adjust and then get proper sleep again, it's all of a sudden it's like whoop.

I feel like everything turns up to 10 again. It's fascinating. I feel a big difference, I feel a big difference. Like, physically feel a big difference. Like, if that, if sleep was a supplement, if I could take a sleep supplement and it gives you that feeling you get when you're, like, fully rested, oh my god, you're just better.

You're better. Everything works better. Your brain works better. You can physically do more. Everything works better. I've heard. You gotta try it. I works better. I've heard. Yeah, you got to try it. I don't think I've even been in a REM sleep in five years, dude. Oh, that doesn't make sense.

It's so not good. I feel dead, dude. But you're not. You feel alive. I've stayed awake for nine straight days before. What? Yeah. I don't even think that's possible. I think the world record is like 11 or 13.

Because I looked into it because I genuinely started to get like fearful for my own health. Do you, do you agree with having needing eight hours? Cause I've heard so many different theories. No, I don't think, I don't think everybody needs eight hours. I just know I do. There's no way I could know what's going on in other people's bodies. You think it's case by case? Yeah. I think it's like everything with biology. Biology varies so much by genetics and life experiences. What have you done leading up? Have you just been sedentary your whole life? Have you been very active?

Is your body very fit? Or is your body riddled with problems? There's so many. And it's just genetics, man. They vary so much. Some people have no problem with five-hour sleep. And it changes over time as well, doesn't it? Like, didn't people evolve from sleeping in, like, four-hour increments or something like that?

I mean, I'm sure they did. I'm sure they didn't get a chance to just fucking chill. You know, they were getting eaten by cats. Yeah. You know, that's the, you know, the rub on people. It's like we still have these genetics that are from 10,000, 15,000 years ago when life was very different. And those are still the same genetics. And that's why we're still looking for like tribal leaders and shit.

We're looking for like a president, a prime minister. We're looking for like one person still. Leaders used to fight in wars, dude. Yes. And that was how we sort of figured out what to do. We went to the person who had experienced the most. Not the person who's experienced the most not the person who's been paid off the most yeah not that not the person who's like got the fucking shadiest

insider dealings with the party that has the most influence oh i know god damn it i'm so happy i take zero part in any politics whatsoever i'm the least politically informed person you'll probably ever meet and i know i'm taking pride in naivety, but... Well, for your own self-preservation, that's probably a good idea. I've always said that, like, voting and, like, politics in this country is a lot like rooting on pro wrestling. Damn.

It might make you feel better, but I'm not sure how much it affects the outcome. That's a very good point. It seems like, at the very end of the day, the same people are getting all the money. Yeah. And don't think about it in terms of whether or not you can vote in your party. You most certainly can.

And don't think about it. They most certainly can enact social change and they can do some good things and especially in relationship with the Supreme Court and a lot of other things. But at the end of the day day the real people that are running the show are the people that are getting these massive defense contracts and massive pharmaceutical contracts like the the billions and trillions of dollars that's being generated by various industries that's what's right in the show that's right now you're speaking Mandarin Chinese right now. That's not that fucking old dude that keeps getting tripped by ghosts.

He's not your leader. Are you a big ghost guy? I believe it's possible. I'm obsessed. Are you? So a really weird side hobby of mine, I go ghost hunting. I've been like around the world. Wow.

Yeah. It's incredible. What have you experienced? Have you ever had like an absolute moment where you're like, oh my God, I'm in the presence of a poltergeist? Not, still not a thousand percent. I've definitely witnessed things that I cannot for the life of me explain that have creeped me out. The timing has been impeccable. I've seen things move that there's just no fucking way that they've moved.

I've gotten answers back on EVPs, but for me, it is one of the things I do need to see it. Isn't the EVP like a radio though? No, EVP is just a recorder. It's a recorder. What is,

what's that radio thing? I'm sorry then. What is the one where they, where they like listen? There's a bunch of different names. My daughter's heavily into this shit. What does she watch? Sam and Colby.

You had them on, right? Yes. Great guys. So I met these other guys. There's another channel called the Overnight Channel who are equally as popular as Sam and Colby. And they actually used to work together. I believe they split off and each do their own thing. But that's who I started going with.

So I'm very familiar with those guys. So these kids, the Sam and Colby guys just went into the Conjuring house. I was just there. Maybe a month and a half ago, just went into the Conjuring house. I was just there, maybe a month and a half ago. You went into the Conjuring house too? By myself, Joe. Okay, do you believe that there's something going on in that house? The Conjuring movies are fucking great. It's my favorite franchise. They're fun. And there's so

many of them. They really did it right. If you want to be smart, they branched off with The Nun, they branched off with Annabelle. And I love the way they tie in the story for each one to make it all one chronological story. It's genius. Yeah. I will say I wasn't as scared as I've been in a lot of places we've been. There is some kind of solace to the house, but you get to know the history of it. And it just it does make sense that there would be

something here. I mean, it's on some ley lines of water underground. There was war spot there. There's apparently bodies buried on the property in the walls of the property structures and stuff. There's a lot of history that goes into it that just makes for kind of the perfect storm for some creepy shit.

But I didn't witness anything that was that insane. Some items moved. Some cars rolled off of the children's dressers a couple of times on cue. And that's the one thing I do pride ourselves in these videos is so often we get absolutely nothing because we don't fake anything. So you only get to see the highlights. Like there's so many times we'll go to a place that is so notoriously haunted and we'll be there for 10 hours and get absolutely nothing. And it sucks.

But that makes when something does happen that much more valuable. It's so much more impressive. What do you think? So do you think a ghost is like the soul of a person that's left behind? Or do you think the ghost is almost like space and time because because of a horrible incident, contain a memory. And that memory is almost like it shows up in current time sometimes. There's a guy named Rupert Sheldrake. I forget what his field of study is.

But he had this theory about things, and he believes that objects contain memories. Oh, interesting. And he's not the only one that does this. Inanimate objects? Yeah, that things contain memories. And this is one of the reasons why people kind of universally support this idea that if someone was murdered in a house, you must tell the people, inform the people that are about to buy it. You have to tell them, hey, somebody got murdered in this house.

Like maybe you don't want to buy this house. Now does the... Maybe you should think about it. Does the potential owner have to ask that information? It's a good question. I'd want to know. Yeah, I think it's a good question. I think they should have to inform you

because there's something about someone being murdered in a spot that freaks us out. And this is my question. You knew the conjured house was haunted, right? So you go there with this feeling and this expectation. That's what I always wonder about these things. Like how much of – and this isn't just imagining things. This is like the mind itself seems to have some unmeasured effect on the world.

Yeah. I think the way you think has an unmeasured effect in terms of like this, there's energy that you put out, there's connections you make with people. They're very, very unmeasured effect in terms of like this, there's energy that you put out. There's connections you make with people. They're very, very unmeasured. And you don't manifest your own perception of things for sure. Yeah.

So what my concern is, is like if you go into a place with a preexisting knowledge of ghosts, like you think ghosts are here, you think ghosts are real, you have this thought in your mind that you maybe experience a ghost in this place that's haunted. You're at this elevated level of anticipation. You're probably really nervous and kind of freaked out and your imagination starts firing up. And I'm not even saying that these people are lying or that they're seeing things that aren't there. I'm saying maybe you make things show up.

Maybe you see memories. Maybe you experience some horrible energy that existed in this spot 50 years ago, 100 years ago. That there's like ways you can tune into that. I could see that being possible. But to me, that's what's so exciting about it, is like, you go hoping for those solidified answers. You're going hoping to witness something that you couldn't have possibly made up. But you know why I think that,

too? It's like, you never see them in the daytime. Ghosts don't exist on the street. Sometimes. Yeah, but not outside. They're never outside. That's a very good point. That's my point, is like, you're always trapped. So you're always in this, like, weird space. Like, if you had a wolf in your house, you you're always trapped. So you're always in this weird space. If you had a wolf in your house, you'd be freaked out.

You'd want to get outside. Yeah. You don't want a wolf in the house. Ah, there's a fucking wolf in the house. Yeah. Any time you're in a contained area, your brain has this heightened sense of being trapped and awareness and how to escape. I mean, every horror movie's the same.

You've got to get to the door. Get to the door, right? Everybody's trying to fumble with The keys the monsters chasing them and they get it just in time right that is a reoccurring theme in the human mind If you're trapped in a fucking house with a killer or a ghost or a wolf, you know scary You know where that makes the most sense. We did the USS Hornet up in the Bay Area Yeah, and we had the whole ship to ourselves which I was so excited about because I love military stuff I love history I was so excited

to go there and just witness it and they sent me by myself on a bit basically a game of hide and seek where they I had to go find them in the ship somewhere after I had to like count to 100 by myself it was the most terrifying place I've ever been because if you've never been in like the bowel of a ship it's so unfamiliar. Like doorways don't look the same. You know, you have to step over them and everything. There's so many pipes and everything sticking out. It's such an unfamiliar environment, especially in the dark.

It's terrifying. You think I can't possibly run away from something in here. There's too many obstacles. You don't know if that's a wall or a pipe or something peeking around to like look at you. It's fucking terrifying because of exactly that. You feel so trapped. That totally makes sense. And I would imagine also the feeling of being underwater is an extra freak out.

I didn't think about that, but now I have anxiety about it. I mean, you literally, if you're deep enough in the ship, you're under the water. That's a very good point. And somehow metal floats. What the fuck? I don't understand it whatsoever. I just don't get it. Because of the floats? What the fuck? I don't understand it whatsoever. I just don't get it. Because of the shape?

What? Yeah, to me it's always been like, what? Yeah, like a rock that size would fucking sink, right? I don't know what's going on. I'm too stupid to figure out boats. Physics is so confusing. I mean, I'd get a fiberglass boat. That makes sense.

But they didn't have fiberglass. I'd get a wood boat. That makes sense. Wow. Giant ships? One of those battleships. Imagine if they had to fiberglass. Get a wood boat, that makes sense. But a fucking... One of those battleships. Imagine if they had to make battleships out of wood. Like, we have battleships, but they

have to be out of wood. Fuck. Yeah, let's go back to having to fight with swords while we're at it as well. Do you ever do Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland? I've been one time, and it's fucking terrifying. No. Are you scared of everything? I'm scared. I'm afraid of no living things apparently okay not apparently not no the ride scares me because i can only imagine if i was the only person in there and you see those

fucking animated figures in there by themselves that to me is like a perfect scary movie it's so right like one of them would come alive yeah the um but what i was getting to is there's a scene when you're going down the river in the raft where these two ships are shooting at each other with cannonballs. And it makes you think about what the fuck that would have been like living back then. Oh, you had to be a man. You're on a wooden thing floating around the ocean, and you're both shooting things that make holes in the woods to sink them.

Yup. And you're out in the middle of the ocean. Which would you rather have done in that situation? Would you rather rely on the cannons or would you hope they get close enough you had to battle it out hand to hand? I like my odds hand to hand. I don't trust the ship. Both suck. Yeah, they're not ideal. Because it depends on numbers.

It depends on experience. Have you had food lately? You know? Have you been starving for the last week and a half? And then all of a sudden you get hit by pirates? There's a lot of those guys like barely made it. Oh, of course. Like they got across to land, wherever they were going, in those ships back then, and

they barely made it. Just famished. People died on those things all the time. Oh, yeah. It's impressive. And also the ocean's fucking terrifying. You ever see the videos of these giant ships in the middle of the ocean just getting vertical on these waves? That's terrifying.

And they were just, their food was nothing. It was garbage. They got scurvy. They got all kinds of diseases. Yeah. There was rats on board. The rats were carrying fleas. It carried diseases.

Like, ugh. No, I don't think I could have made it. I would have stayed in England for sure. And by the time you get there, you're so worn out. I don't know how long it takes by sailboat to get from England to America. How long does that take?

Was it just sails back then too? Fuck yeah, there's no propeller. I never even registered that. Those people were so gangster. Those people were so gangster. Those people were so gangster. They didn't even know what was over there. They thought they were in India. That's so fucking funny.

Bro, they thought that they were in India. So wrong. And they kept calling people the wrong thing. To this day we call them the wrong thing. Sailing from New York City to London takes about six nights and seven days, depending on your speed. That's because of the famous Royal Places, Big Ben, and double-decker buses of London. Yeah, but I don't think that's today. I don't buy that. I thought it took like weeks.

I think that's today. The edition mentions typical passage from New York to the English Channel for a well-found sailing vessel of about 2,000 tons was around 25 to 30 days, with ships logging 100 to 150 miles per day on average. That's not that bad. No, I believe that number. Yeah, 30 days is pretty good. I mean, that's still so uncomfortable. That's if everything goes well. Oh, yeah.

Do you ever see that video going around recently of those potential mermaids on the side of that ship in the middle of the ocean? No. What? What are you talking about? Are you serious? Potential mermaids? Jamie, you know what I'm talking about? Is this some CGI nonsense?

There is like a sailor, a guy sailing on the back of the ship and you can hear moans, right? Sort of. So there's like, it's just a dude on a blurry cell phone video. It looks like a good cell phone video. And there's these things that are like racing on the side of the boat that are going the same speed as the boat. And it's like there's like a tail or something trailing behind them. And this keeps up for hours. And then you start to hear whistling.

You hear tunes. You hear what sounds like one of them say jump for me. Oh, God. How do you think this is real? There's no way this is real. Imagine if I'm being, this is like the beginning of a movie, right? You and I are having this podcast. We're being super skeptical. And then in the movie, you find out there has been

a very small group of mermaids that have existed in the ocean, hiding from humanity, because we have only discovered 10% of the ocean. This is a fun world to live in. Is it this one? Yeah, this guy. All right.

So this video is a couple years old. Oh, okay. No fucking way. Wait, I just threw this overboard. Y'all saw me throw overboard. Are you fucking kidding me? So what is this guy saying? He's got a couple videos.

He's been out a lot of time out in the water. That looks like... So where are the mermaids? And this is a much longer video than I've ever seen. Well that was one of the sounds. You hear the jump for me? That's crazy. I didn't hear jump for me. Did you hear jump for me, Jamie? It's one of those things that somebody did the subtitles for at one time and that always makes your brain

register it a little bit easier. He just has a few videos like this. Where's the video of the mermaid? It was a part of the same one we were just watching where you heard the squeal. So in there there's a mermaid? Yeah, I think it's before this. This one might cut it off.

Because what I have found is that Smash cut of a few videos this guy made this is like a compilation you know what it could have been a whale it could have been easily changed my mind it was definitely mermaids bro

you know what whales do make that sound they do also could have been a fat mermaid we don't know I just don't whenever one dude in multiple videos is encountering mermaids i get suspicious but here's this you know what your your reaction right now is why i love to believe in ghosts aliens cryptids bigfoot mermaids all that kind of shit because imagine this shit is real imagine this dude had a real experience right i love the idea of all of those things you just mentioned. I really do.

Really? Yeah. I love that you love that stuff. I fucking love nonsense. I got so high once I watched the Patterson Bigfoot footage. I was like, oh my God, what if it's real? What if I've been an asshole making fun of this thing forever when it's actually really a Bigfoot?

Yeah. And I imagine you've had that encounter and the rest of the world thinks you're a fucking psychopath that would feel so lonely but that that moment only lasted like 15 minutes the weed so this guy people I've seen this video multiple times supposedly this guy saw a giant on the side of a hill a giant yeah i'm trying to find it so high he thought he saw it so he goes back and like he's looking for it looks like it's someone walking on the side of a hill the perspective is very strange let me change the angle that's a the giant one is a fascinating

one but then the guy disappears so he's making a bunch of videos on tiktok and then he just disappeared and everyone's like well what the fuck happened i didn't i don't know if i saw anything in the video where Where's the video? Where's the giant? This is also a guy's making an edit about this whole story. He's trying to find this very specific video where he's trying to find the giant. So he's driving in his truck, and he sees a giant? Yeah, he's driving in the truck, and he sees something on the side of this hill.

And I don't know if on this specific one you can see it. Like how big of a giant? That's what it's hard to tell because it's this far away. I mean, it looks far as shit But I also don't know anything the one you can find I'll try to find out what do you what are you looking at? Do you see something? I don't see anything. I don't there's someone move in there I'm trying to find the very specific thing But there is a very it looks just like this and you can see a person

Like you can see the silhouette of a person on the side of that hill. It's weird from this far away You could see that that's gonna be completely honest. I don't know what I'm looking at in that video. I saw the zoom in, but the zoom was in the sky. It doesn't make sense to me either. I'm looking at it and I'm like, I don't see shit. Where is this person? It's like blob squatches.

That's one of the things that Bigfoot hunters, they just start seeing shadows that look like Sasquatch and they're convinced. Then they convince themselves. The fact that that show has been on for so fucking long. They're still finding Bigfoot, bro. They're working really hard. How do you get renewed with no results? Here's a picture of what the video is.

Oh, okay. I mean, that couldn't... I don't know. It's a perspective thing. Yeah, I don't know how far away that zoom is. Yeah, I mean, that could be a six-foot-tall dude up there. Yeah, I don't know how far away that zoom is. Yeah, I mean that could be a six foot tall dude up there. Yeah, I mean also humans are six foot seven,

seven foot sometimes. Yeah, that's not that big. So they're claiming this guy died actually, apparently. Oh, shit. The mountain guy up there? Oh, no, okay, apparently now he says, alright, this is an update. This video was only posted recently. Okay. Admission that it was a hoax. It was a hoax, and then he died. Oh, you...

Oh, he made an admission the video was a hoax, and then he died oh you oh oh he made an admission the video was a hoax and then he died yeah i didn't know about that oh well it's probably unrelated the type of person who's out there hoaxing giant videos is probably doing a lot of wild shit i would imagine so my point on tiktok was i think a lot of people are doing that making these i'm sure that's a product of dmt for sure that's's how it goes viral. You got to fake things. There's a lot of people faking things for sure. But there was the Bigfoot ones. Some of the Bigfoot fakes were so bad.

There was one on the Les Stroud show where the guy was like so obviously wearing a mask. It was like a close-up on a guy wearing a mask. It's so embarrassing. It's so bad. Yeah. Like make some kind of compelling case. Yeah, Les Stroud is the shit. You know, Survivor Man, that guy's awesome.

That guy did legit things. He's the guy that, do you remember seeing that show Survivor Man? I don't think so. Oh my God, the show was amazing. When was this on? He used to go, it was a while back, and he used to go legitimately by himself

with a very limited amount of tools, and he would live in wild places, like really dangerous places, and figure his way out and survive. And, you know, a lot of times, like, you could see on the show he was losing, like, 15 pounds. Oh, yeah. Like, got really sick, got injured. You watched that show alone on Netflix? Yeah, it's similar, but this was, like like one guy with his own cameras doing this everywhere. So cool.

Yeah, that's why I like other shows like, remember when Bear Grylls had a show? Yeah. There's like multiple camera people and they're filming him doing wild things. It's like that's what they wanted to do with him. And Les is like, uh-uh. No, I do the real thing. This is the real thing. So Les is obsessed with Bigfoot too, so he went looking for Bigfoot.

But there was, you know, on one of the episodes, they're looking at this footage, and I'm looking at footage that looks to me like a guy in a monkey suit. See if you can find it. It's Les Stroud, Bigfoot footage. It's very controversial, because the guy who claimed to

have captured the video is very controversial. Imagine if it's real. And everybody's disparaging you and you literally saw Bigfoot. Oh, of course. That would drive you nuts. Yeah, but watch this. As I'm looking for it, he's looking for him again recently. No.

He's looking for him again recently? He had a video from a month ago in North Texas. Here's the thing, though. Is it one? If it's real, if it's real and he's right, then we look stupid. Is there one or is this a species? Bro, there's so many people out there in the wild. You know who doesn't see Bigfoot?

Who? Hunters. The people that are really out there in the wild, they're not having these experiences. The people that are having these experiences. That's a damn good point. You know, it's just. And there's also a thing about bears. Bears walk on two legs all the time.

Do they really? All the time. Like grizzly bears? Especially black bears. Especially black bears. There's hours of footage of black bears walking on two legs. That's fucking terrifying. Just walking through the woods on two legs.

I've seen it. I've seen. There's hunter videos of that, yeah. I've seen it in person with my own eyes. I've watched a black bear stand on his two legs and walk. How tall can a black bear get? Seven, eight feet. Fuck. They're big animals, man.

Oh yeah, I think a grizzly bear is the number one thing I'm afraid of in the world. That should be right up there. Massive. They're a massive killing machine. I remember being a kid and seeing at the Columbus Zoo, they have an exhibit there where you can go inside their cave, because that's where they spend most of their time there, and you can see them up against the glass, and laying down, it's like four and a half feet, five feet tall.

What is this one? I don't know. Bigfoot from 2013. Is this the one? So there's one where, no, there's one where there's like a close- know. Bigfoot from 2013. Is this the one? So there's one where, no, there's one where there's like a closeup on Bigfoot's face. Yeah, but I can't find the one where he's walking or I can't even find video. That's it right down there. But it's just a picture. Okay. But look at that picture. Oh my God. No, no. But when you see it in

the show, like it's like the guy zooms in on it. He gets a close-up. It's like Bigfoot's just staring back. It's too posed. All these years, Bigfoot's been shy, but Bigfoot's like, you know what? It's time to let these motherfuckers know. Yeah, you get the shot. Time to let these motherfuckers know.

I was trying to find it. I thought that's what you wanted, but I couldn't find it. That is the video. It's so... Which one of these was Joey's? Was it this one? This one right here. This one?

I'm going to spark that back up. Thank you. It's just if it... I mean, imagine if it is real. Imagine if that video is real, right? But it doesn't look real. In my limited experience, most things that look fake are fake. That looks fake as fuck.

Oh, damn it. That looks fake as fuck. Oh, damn it. That looks fake as fuck. Look, his hair looks perfect. Nice and slick back. Recently applied. It's so perfect. Recently applied hair. That literally looks like Michael J. Fox in Teen Wolf. He looks clean. Looks way too clean. If that was a homeless dude,

wouldn't give him money. There's no way. Or if it was a bear. Like, bear hair looks different than that. Everything looks different than that. I don't want to meet a bear up close. That's fucking terrifying. Yeah, they're a terrifying animal. But the thing is, like, when people, like, find video of bears walking on two legs, Jamie. I just want you to imagine it's dusk, okay?

And you're in the Pacific Northwest. So you're in this. Sure. You're in this. It's not great. Pacific Northwest. So you're in this. Do you want to hear this? Sure.

You're in this. It's not great. Thickly wooded area where it's like literally like a box of Q-tips. That's what the trees are like. Yeah. They're stacked in there. Have you ever been in the Pacific Northwest? Yeah, I love it up there.

The mountains up there are beautiful, right? The rainforest. Now, that's where a lot of sightings are. It's also where a lot of bears are. Now, look at this. Look at this motherfucker. That literally looks like a guy in a costume. That's crazy. I mean, what?

China sun bear that went viral. I will say no swinging arms, though. That would be the only sign that would make me think, ah, bear or not bear. That bear had a wound, though. That bear was a bear that was missing one of its paws one of the probably one of the other bears probably bit his paw off

i saw a monkey in costa rica that had his hand bitten off and uh i was like wow what do you think happened to his hand and the the guy we were with like oh another monkey bit it off i was like really yeah probably when he was a baby. I'm like, really? Didn't somebody have their hands pulled off by a chimpanzee? Yes. That's fucking terrifying. Yeah. They're so strong.

They're so strong. Dude. We can't even imagine. They're so strong and they're so aware of the things you want, like your fingers. They bite your fingers off. It's one of the first things they do. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Yeah, when chimpanzees attack you, they bite your fingers off. Because they know without your fingers, you bite your fingers off. Really? When chimpanzees attack you, they bite your fingers off. Because they know without your fingers, you can't protect yourself. And that's part of what makes you a person. They also grab your dick. They rip your dick off. No, they don't. Yes, they do. They bite your face off. They tear your eyes out. Yeah, they're not trying to kill you.

Diabolical. They're trying to rip you apart. They're not even trying to kill you. They're trying to torture you. That is the most caveman shit I've ever heard of. It's far beyond. They're not even trying to kill you. They're trying to torture you. That is the most caveman shit I've ever heard of. It's far beyond. They're so different than us, but yet so similar. Have you ever seen Chimp Nation on Netflix? I don't think so.

You've got to watch it. It's wild. What's up? The picture of the lady after the attack. Oh, don't show me it. Don't show me it. Can I see it? Okay.

Oh, fuck. I'm sorry. It's okay. Just put it on the screen. He can look at it. I don't want to see this lady's face. This is a lady that her friend had a chimpanzee that was a pet, and she- That's what she did look like?

She went to visit the lady, and the chimp tore her face apart. Oh. She looks like a belly button. Yeah. He tore her face apart. Holy shit. Yeah, he tore her face apart. Holy shit. Yeah. And he was just upset at her because she was cock blocking him.

Shut up. Yeah. No. Yeah, yeah. She used to sleep with the chimpanzees. She gave the chimpanzees Xanax and wine. This lady was nuts. Oh, yeah.

Was this Michael Jackson's monkey? This is living the best life ever. It was way worse than that because it was a full-grown male, and it was really big. It was like 200 pounds because it was eating well. How big was the chimpanzee when they shot it? It says tiny chimp had been left alone. Where was the mother? Oh, sorry, I shot that.

No, that's not the same one. The one that tore that lady apart was big. Yeah, this one actually said it was their friend. It wasn't the people who owned it. It was their couple's friend. Are there? It wasn't the people who owned it. It was their couple's friend. Are there... It wasn't the people who owned it what? This says that on the one I'm looking at right now, it says

he snapped and attacked a couple's friend. Fuck. Oh my god. So he didn't even attack someone who had seen the chimp before? It was a new person? I don't know if it was the first time meeting. I was trying to catch up to that. Like what happened and make sure this was the same one we're talking about. I mean, it didn't happen a few times.

There's been quite a few chimpanzee attacks. One of them was really horrible. This guy was a guy who had the chimp as a pet and raised it, but it got too big and they couldn't take it anymore, so they brought it to a chimpanzee shelter. And it was his birthday, so they brought a cake for the chimp for his birthday uh-huh and the other chimps were so jealous that he got a cake and they didn't that they got out of the

cage and tore the guy apart yeah because chimps get very very jealous the fact that very jealous even like i know that not only that's that emotion of jealousy they they figured they also knew how to get out of the cage somehow or another. So they probably knew the whole time. I don't know. I mean, I don't know if somebody fucked up and left something open and they noticed it and then tore the guy apart. Could have been in the process of when they were getting the other chimp out, so they'd give him the cake that they saw this. Jesus Christ. So she knew the chimp.

She knew the chimp, yeah. She came out with a tickle me Elmo and the chimp. She knew the chimp. Yeah. She came out with a Tickle Me Elmo and the chimp lunged at her. Oh, God. Oh. Oh, my God. Fucking hates Sesame Street. Hit him with a spade. Oh, it was the chimp's favorite toy.

Oh. She tried to steal his favorite toy. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, my god oh my god oh my god oh my god that is fucking how big was the chimp because there's photos of them so if you could see the photo don't change that's right here. I mean, this doesn't show that exactly. No, that's him when he's a tiny baby.

But is there any photos of him as a full-grown male? Because I know there is of him with a diaper on. Let me Google that. Like he would wear a diaper because otherwise he would just shit everywhere. Almost domesticated. Yeah, well, I think he's like I run this house I'll take a shit right here this is the living room

is there any kind of is that him? it's Travis the chimp he was massive there's a photo of the lady walking with him that's one of the fattest chimps I've ever seen there was a photo of her when you get to see, like,

the perspective of the full-grown chimp next to a human. You're like, God, it's just a sack of muscle. Is that him up there where it's circled? I couldn't tell. It doesn't. This looks like a. No, this looks like one of those drive-thru. He's, like, trying to get in the car or something.

Yeah, it does look like one of those. Jesus. But it says it's a 911 call from the chimp attack, and that was describing the same thing. Like when it was drive-thru He's like trying to get in the car or something Yeah it does look like one of those Jesus But it says it's a 911 call from the chimp attack And that was describing the same thing Oh that might be him out there Oh look at the cop cars Oh my god Can you imagine being the cop showing up

You don't know how to handle this fucking thing Not only that He might rip the door right off the fucking car You think he could? Like it's made out of cardboard Oh man He definitely could put his hand right through that window 100 a guy can put his hand through a window do you think you even try to tase that you think that does anything yes tasing would work you think so because i've seen humans take

you do you use bullets yeah you fucking chimp is eating people's faces and you see him on the street you gotta you gotta put that motherfucker down. If you miss. Isn't that crazy? It was over, she was taking his toy. How the fuck did she not know that that was his? I don't think she just registered how primal. You know how dogs get with their toys?

Oh, of course. And dogs are trained. You're not training a chimp. She could have been picking it up to give it to him. I think it said she was leaving with it. Oh. Well, also, why the fuck are you taking the toy in the first place? Maybe she was trying to fuck with him.

Maybe we're not, you know? Maybe there was, like, some thing going on where she didn't like it. Has anyone taken this stance from the monkey side? No. Well, the chimp plays for keeps. Oh, absolutely. Technically, Elmo doll means you don't have a face anymore. Just, whoa.

Is there an exotic animal that if you had the means to do it properly, you would want as a pet? No. I like pets as pets. I appreciate wild animals for what they are, and I think there's something real weird about owning them. And if you want to, I'm not saying you shouldn't be able to, but there's something fucking very strange. I want a pet otter. Yeah, that's very strange. Dude, they're fucking adorable.

Right, but wouldn't it be cooler if you saw an otter in a river and he's out there chilling doing otter things? Yeah, I suppose so. Catching his own fish and eating them. Cracking the fucking clams on their chest and shit. The cutest. Cutest. Holding that fish and fucking eating his head. I know.

I just want to pet one so bad. Did you see that lady's face who got fucked up by an otter? Somebody was telling me about this. Is there a photo? Yeah. Jamie, I'm sorry to make you keep bringing up gruesome shit, but I got to see this because it's an unhealthy obsession I have with otters. I don't know what happened.

This isn't as bad. Well, Jesus Christ. I mean, it's not as bad as the chimp. Yeah, no. But she got fucked up by an otter, dude. Small. I've seen know what happened. That's not as bad. Well, Jesus Christ. I mean, it's not as bad as the chimp. Yeah, no. But she got fucked up by an otter, dude. Small. I've seen cats do worse. That's fine.

Yeah, but that's a fucking wild animal in your face. Dude, if a squirrel was trying to fuck you up, you'd be scared. But look how cute he is. Look, they're very adorable. Oh, my God. They're absolutely adorable. Little sea weasels. Yeah, they're cute.

Like, if they were really domesticated, I mean, I don't know if you can domesticate. I don't really know nothing about domesticating otters. But if that's possible, I think they'd be the cutest pets ever. I'll find out. They're adorable. Have you seen the videos of them showing humans how to pet them? Yes. That's the cutest shit ever, dude.

That's pretty fucking cute. That's pretty fucking cute. I'm going to find out. I'm going to do my research. If that's really what they're like, if you domesticate them, That's pretty fucking cute. That's pretty fucking cute. I'm gonna find out. I'm gonna do my research. If that's really what they're like if you domesticate them, that's pretty cool. I bet you can't have an aquarium.

Or you can. And treat this motherfucker to a buffet. Whenever you want, man. All you get is salad bar, dog. That's what it would be. That'd be my ideal house. What's that? Oh, but like puppies do that, you know? Yeah, puppies do that.

How are you going to teach an otter? Maybe they're smarter than we think. I don't know, man. Maybe it's just a thing they do when they're scared. Maybe that person was treating them wrong. Yeah, I've seen people miss it. You ever see somebody who thinks they're really gentle with animals, but they're so not? They pet dogs.

Oh, yeah. Some people slap dogs. Or like, hey, buddy. Or one hand picking them up like an awkward way. And you're like, I know you don't mean well, but you're doing this terribly. Imagine being a chihuahua. Everybody's going to carry you. Oh, I would hate to be a small dog.

What a fucking torturous life. I know. Everyone has to carry you everywhere. You have a dog, right? You have a golden retriever? Yes. Beautiful dog. He's great.

He's the best. I want one so bad. They're the sweetest dogs of all time. He's just a sweetheart to everybody. He's just a big old love sponge. Just super sweet, friendly. I want a golden retriever, German Shepherd I would love to have. So beautiful, so smart.

Those are great dogs, too. Those are dogs, though, that need activity. Yeah, they need stimulation. Yeah, they need activity. You can't just have a German Shepherd and keep him in a little yard, like, going out of his fucking mind like he's in prison. No. Also, what a waste of talent. Right.

They're so smart and so impressive. They're very smart dogs. Very smart dogs. They're a different kind of dog. You know, that's a working dog. Yeah. But I guess it's just, people want different things in a dog. I just got my mom for Mother's Day last year this tiny little thing that's like literally the size of this coffee mug.

Like you could accidentally squish it so easy. Yeah. So people like those kind of dogs. But also what does that come from? Like that's not a descendant of a wolf. It is. It is. How does that happen?

Well, selective breeding. And also there's a thing that happens with animals. We don't totally understand it, but they've done this study with foxes where they took foxes. And over a period of like not that many generations, what they did was any time a fox displayed any aggression towards people, they killed it. towards people, they killed it. And over a certain period of time, all the foxes that were left, their jaws had shrank,

their ears were more floppy. They started giving in to the idea of domestication. And they literally started softening their appearance. They weren't alert like a fox would be if it was like you know a little killer silver fox domestication experiment So for the last 59 years a team of Russian geneticists led by Luda Miller Hey, say that Lude Lude Mila Lude Mila truth have been running one of the most important biology Experiments of the 20th and now 21st century. The experiment was the brainchild of Trout's mentor, Dmitri Believ, who in 1959 began an

experiment to study the process of domestication in real time. He was especially keen on understanding the domestication of wolves to dogs, but rather than use wolves, he used silver foxes as his subjects. Here I provide a brief overview of how the silver fox domestication study began and what the results to date have taught us. Experiments continue to this day. And then I explain just how close this study came to being shut down for political reasons during its very first year. Jesus. Okay. So that's the abstract.

So this is – I'm probably butchering the story, but over time, these things started to change and they softened their appearance and they dropped their ears. And so there's also, there's a thing that happens with pigs where the opposite happens. When you take a domesticated pig and you release it in the wild, they morph within six, I think it's a very short amount of time. I want to say it's less than two months of living in the wild. They start to display different characteristics. With males, their snout extends. I think with females too.

But males grow these big ass tusks and their hair gets thicker. Their hair gets thicker all over the body. Just instinctually for being out there. Now they know they're on their own and their body morphs. Wow. So their appearance morphs. That's an incredible genetic.

It's crazy. So there's different kinds of pigs, but they're all the same animal. It's all, I think the genus is called Suscrafa. And that, when you see a wild boar, a lot of them could have descended from domesticated pigs. Like, because people have pig farms, and pigs get out, fences break, and the pigs get loose. And some of those pigs, they just keep having piglets, but they're wild pigs. But they look like wild boars, like from what you would expect from some movie, right? Very quick. That's what happens.

Very quick evolution. Yeah. See if you can find how much time it takes for a domesticated pig to start displaying wild looks. Well, that's a bad way to Google it. This is what I love about you and your show. You're very insightful on a lot of things I find very, very fascinating. You're like if Bill Nye the Science Guy offered people DMT. I got plenty of stupid information.

I love it. It's all things that fascinate me. But if you look at it that way, right, if a pig becomes harder in the wild and a wolf becomes softer with domestication, if you just kept doing that and softening it. When you associate those little tiny fluffy dogs, what are you associating with? Like some lady who's got a nice house and a nice

car and she's got a nice little fluffy dog that sits next to her. They've taken that wolf and knocked it down to that over thousands of years. It's funny that the same thing happens to humans. I mean, like, we got trapped inside for two years? Yeah.

Soften the fuck up. Yeah, and also society. Yeah. The needs of, like, society, especially society like ours, it's not engaged in war on our shores where there's not, like, a physical threat of actual violence from the enemy. You know, you tend to soften things up.

And the same sort of experiment is going on with male human beings. It's going on with dogs and wolves. I've heard that quote on this show so many times. Hard times breed hard people. Hard people breed easy times. Easy times, easy people, or whatever it is. I'm paraphrasing. Yeah, hard times create hard men hard men

create easy times easy times create soft men soft men create hard times vicious cycle yeah it's normal it's just we they've known this forever this is how humans work from hog to wild hog how a stealth gene transforms pigs into wild boars. Holy shit. A barnyard escapee can quickly resemble a feral hog growing bigger and hairier in a matter of months. Isn't that wild? Yeah. So that pig right there could have started out as a domesticated pig and got out and

it will turn into that wild looking thing. Wow. Yeah. Experts say the crisis is largely driven by people who trap and transport the animals so they can be hunted. Oh, wow. It may be the year of the rabbit, the pig, feral pigs. Like how long does it, yeah, it's Seuss Scroffa. So that is millennia of chasing wild boars around the woods of Spears. Homo sapiens finally got wise roughly 9,000 years ago, which is now in what is now Eastern Turkey,

our ancestors began domesticating the Eurasian boar, Suscrafa. By the time, so they were wild first, then they domesticated them. They're like gremlins.

You feed them at night. Okay, by the time Christopher Columbus picked up a few to take along on his second voyage to America in 1493, the 400-pound tusk beast

had been transformed into a pink, floppy-eared familiar. In that time, pig husbandry had produced a docile and resilient animal, one bred to survive a range of climatic conditions and to reproduce a lot. Well, that's the thing about pigs. Like, they have three litters a year.

Do they really? Yeah, they bang out babies. Like, let's go. And they start doing it when they're like six months old. So at six months old, they're already spitting out kids. And how many piglets do they usually have? Like eight? That's a good question.

I think it's about six, if I had to guess. It might be more. What is the average litter of a pig? Is that what they'd be called? Litters? I think. I'm just guessing. They're so smart, too.

Yeah. Average pig litter. The amount of tabs you have open at this browser is so funny. 7.5. The average litter size is 7.5. It's not uncommon for a sow to have 12 to 14 pigs per litter. How do you have a half? Just one little midget?

It's just an average. You know, some 15, some 13, some total. Thank you, Jamie. That's pretty nuts, man. That's pretty nuts. Yeah, man. So they're just constantly pumping out kids and when you let them grow out in the wild they turn back to what they originally were so

it makes sense that if you took dogs and you like slowly gave them food all the time and all the you know the wolves that were like bitch-ass wolves who couldn't hunt anymore like come on bitch-ass wolf yeah i got some food for you just growl when the bears come. And then they go, okay, I'll do that for you. Just like people kind of get. You know, people that have like overpowering bosses. Oh, of course. We learned the other week or the other day. Wait, what?

Oh, the thing about wolves. Shockingly enough, a creature almost synonymous with the sea didn't actually begin that way. And boy, is it a whale of a tale. A mind-blowing video recently posted by PBS Eons reveals that whales were actually predatory land animals, the same ones that would later become wolves, specifically. So the animal branched off in the water and became whales,

and on the ground became wolves. Oh, man. What the fuck? What? How wild is that? That is fucking wild. And hippos, I guess, came from the same thing. And hippos came from the same thing.

Wow. What Bible chapter is this in? They missed that part. Hippos scare the fucking shit out of me, man. Oh, I mean, that's a dinosaur. They are so insane. They look so unbelievable. And aren't they relatively aggressive?

Oh, super aggressive. And they go after boats. They take people out. You know, the thing about hippos is it's one of those other animals that for whatever reason, when we anthropomorphize, when we give them like human characteristics, we make them sweet. Hungry, hungry hippo. Like polar bears. It's Coca-Cola. No, absolutely not.

Klondike bars. So aggressive. They're terrifying. We do that with so many terrifying animals. You know, fucking Yogi Bear. We turned one of the scariest animals in the forest into your buddy. Hey, boo-boo, let's get us a picnic basket.

Remember that? Yeah. Dude, Yogi Bear was like this sweetheart. And how many people grew up thinking bears were their friends because of that stupid shit? And then these dummies, you go out in the woods and you're like, oh, no. Mauled to death. People used to look at bears for what they are. And then teddy bears came around.

And then when they started giving people teddy bears, then started like thinking that like bears are your little friends yeah and then build a bear is responsible for a lot of deaths oh people don't talk about that enough i don't think build a bear is responsible but the teddy bear is the build a bear by the time build a bear came it was already disney movies it was already too late yeah it's already too late bears are your friends Bears are your friends. Animals are your friends. They talk to you. They save you.

They tell the people about the Wicked Witch. Oh, my God. They're on your side. Have you seen that video of somebody hanging in the background of the Wizard of Oz? What? You don't know about that? Oh, this is very popular. Oh, I have seen it.

Now I remember. I think it is. I don't even think that's like, I think it is a person. Some people say it's a bird. Oh, this is very popular. Oh, I have seen it. Now I remember. I think it is. I don't even think that's like, I think it is a person. Some people say it's a bird. Oh, okay. Some people say it's a bird in the background. I thought it was like somebody who worked on the set. They said it was one of the little people.

Yeah, they were the first person to go on Sag Strike. Oh, no. Unpacking the myth of the hanging munchkin. So, might be a myth. Oh, no, there's an unpacking? That's the problem with the hanging munchkin. So, might be a myth. Oh, no. There's an unpacking? That's the problem with Googling things. Yeah.

It kills all the fun. You don't want all the answers. No. It's fun to be naive. No. Sometimes you want just fun. Yeah. Yeah.

That's why I like to read about shit like Hollow Earth. It's that thing. Remember? What the fuck is Hollow Earth? Please unpack after this. That's it? Yeah. Okay. That could be anything. And when they're walking, it does? Please unpack after this. That's it? Yeah. Okay, that could be anything.

And when they're walking, it does start moving side to side. It starts walking? No, when they're walking. People say it's a swing, right? Yeah, when they're walking down the yellow brick road. You don't think they would see that? Yeah, you think somebody would... Hey, keep rolling.

But there's a fucking guy hanging. Keep rolling. You know how much money this film costs? Jesus Christ. It's just one of the executive producers. You know how much money this studio's investing in this film. I'll pull the plug on it right now. Keep walking.

Hanging little person be damned. Please unpack Hollow Earth for me because you said it and now I want to know everything about it. Well, Hollow Earth pales in comparison to Space is Fake. Space is Fake is the greatest conspiracy thing to dive into online. It's amazing.

It's so fun. They think there are lights in the sky. Like these kind of lights? I don't know. There's a firmamentament there's like a glass ceiling above it all nothing can go out there because there's nothing there didn't the earth is flat didn't somebody land on the dark side of the moon the other day china china did i think i think it was india yeah correct correct um yeah it's uh i don't think earth the space can't be fake right it's amazing how many people

are into it if you just google hashtag space is fake you'll be taking to these random instagram accounts now and here's the thing about it i don't know if they're real people but i don't know if it matters because it starts off it could could start off as like some Russian troll. Like there's these things called – like the Internet Research Agency is one of them, these troll farms. You know about these? No, but it makes sense. Rene DiResta reported on it and some people – a lot of people have reported on it. But what it is is they have these places where there's thousands and thousands of accounts. And they set up like there's images of it where you see like rows of cell phones that are connected to this network.

And they have these people that have the access to these accounts, and they're posting things that are really stupid. They're posting things that are ridiculous conspiracy theories. They're posting things blaming Democrats for certain things and blaming Republicans for certain things. At one point in time, Facebook, 19 of their top 20 Christian sites were run by Russian troll farms. It's genius, like social sabotage at a very high level. And so they're interacting with people constantly online. So if you see people fighting on Twitter, if you say like a controversial post goes up about anything with foreign policy, trans rights, abortion, Second Amendment, anything. If you go into one of those popular posts, you'll see all these like crazed right wing and crazed left wing opinions. Occasionally you click on them.

and crazed left-wing opinions. Occasionally you click on them, and if you go to – I should say occasionally. Oftentimes you'll click on them, and you go to a page that seems oddly unhuman. It seems fake. There doesn't seem like a real personality behind it. And you go into it, and you see that they're always engaging on these very specific issues, and they're always being very confrontational. on these very specific issues. And they're always being like very confrontational. And it kind of discourages people that disagree with them from interacting with them. And it kind of encourages people that love to fight with people to fight back. So you get all this interaction. And these

people do it to steer conversations and get people to lose faith in democracy, lose faith in the police's ability to protect you, lose faith in whether or not we can unite racially or sexually, like whether we can be a harmonious country. It's like designed to keep conflict going. It literally can accelerate conflict like gasoline on a fire and that you can engineer to a certain extent. I don't know what percentage, but imagine it's 5%. You can 5% through these trolls engineer conversations in the public and you can get people to do a lot of really dumb shit. Like if you wanted to get people to believe that the earth is flat or if you wanted to get people to believe that the earth is hollow and there's dinosaurs inside of it and aliens live in there, you could get people to believe that. And then they would start fighting about it online.

And then you could get people to believe that, you know, there's been a bunch of them. There's been a bunch of them that are like mainstream propaganda things like the Russia collusion hoax with Trump. It took us like three years to figure that out. But now everybody knows. It didn't really happen the way they were saying it was happening every day on the news. If that can take place with like mainstream media, how much of like what people are fighting about is like engineered? Oh, man.

How much of it? That might be the most evil thing I've ever heard in my entire life, to just control and design chaos. You definitely are encouraging chaos. Like if people can still choose to engage or not engage, and that's where things get interesting. That's terrible, man. I mean, the internet is already such a terrible, dark, mean place without that. You add that fuel on top of it. Oh, my God. It's no wonder people are depressed what would really be scary is if you were forced to interact with people on

the internet like if the internet if there was like a a social like a contract that you had to make where you had to give your opinions on certain issues agree or disagree gender affirming care is essential to each other you know like that kind of stuff oh like a long hours agree or disagree we have to move to 100 renewables by 2030 at all costs agree or disagree you know voter id is racist agree or disagree the climate change is real and the science supports it. Agree or disagree. Vaccines are the most essential technology that medical science has ever created. Agree or disagree.

What's crazy is people... We need to support the war in Ukraine. And the United States has never done anything to encourage Russia invading Ukraine, including helping NATO move arms closer to their border. Agree or disagree? Vaccines are safe and effective. Agree or disagree? Imagine if you had to do that every couple of months and go over that,

and that's how people decided whether or not you could go to the grocery store today or you had to wait until Saturday or whether or not you could buy a plane ticket ever. The thing is now people feel like voluntarily they need to voice their opinions on those things. Right. It's like for what? At the end of the day, for what? They just like fighting.

They just love fighting. It's incredible, man. Yeah. People like it. I hate the internet so much. Well, I love it. I always avoided it. You got to just avoid the stuff that sucks.

Just avoid interacting with people in that way. It's just not good. It's not good for you. It's not good for them. It's not good for anybody. You know, you can interact with people and learn some interesting things. But at a certain level of fame, that becomes really hard. It's really hard.

Yeah. You can't – if you're just interacting with people, you're going to get people that are doing things just to get your attention. I know. And one of the ways to get your attention is to say something negative. I'm so bad at that. Yeah. I'm so bad. I'm so confrontational as well. I'm going to get your attention. I know. And one of the ways to get your attention is to say something negative. I'm so bad at that. Yeah. I'm so bad. I'm so confrontational as well.

I'm going to get John Lennon for sure, dude. Don't say that. Dude, the amount of times somebody's been like, I'm going to come to one of your shows and kick your ass. I've just sent them my entire tour schedule and be like, you can come to any show you want. I cannot stand the confidence people have behind the internet. It's impeccable.

Well, it's not. most of it's not real, but there are a few psychos out there, so I wouldn't challenge people. I know I'm in the wrong for responding like that. Yeah, don't do that. I can't stand it, dude. Don't do that, fella. It gets my fucking blood boiling. But when people know that you can't stand it, then they're going to do it more. I know.

I know. Jamie, cut it before they feed the fucking fire. We can cut that out if you want. No, no. Leave it in there, dude. Couldn't be less scared. Ah! Yeah, you're traveling a lot, huh? Yeah, man. Thanks to the internet. Do you do anything to

um, like, do you do anything, like, right when you land to, like, to just to get rid of jet lag? Have you ever figured anything out like that no i'm still figuring it out yeah go to i mean i have to work out every day that's my thing like do you go to the gym right when you land no not necessarily but depending on what time i land i think because i like to do i like to work out before the show just to get my blood pumping a little bit because i wake up most days so tired then i'm like let me at least get a little energized

yeah my body moving. Isn't that ironic that when you're tired, the best thing you do is something difficult and you wake up. It's so weird. It's so hard to tell your body that though. Today was hard for me to tell my, I mean, I do it every day, but every day I have the same fucking conversation. My body's like, I gotta lay here, bitch.

But that's what discipline is. My body's like, you're the boss. No one can tell you what to do. Shut the fuck up. We don't have to get up and do anything. I'm like, you work for. But that's what discipline is. My body's like, you're the boss. Nobody can tell you what to do. Shut the fuck up. We don't have to get up and do anything. I'm like, you work for, you literally work for yourself. You don't have to be at work until 1.30. What are you doing?

Go back to sleep. Then you have to ask yourself. What would David Goggins do? David Goggins would already be up. He's up. That's not, you can't decide to live your life by what that guy does because you'll die. He's one of the scariest people. You don't have to live this extreme, man.

But he's lovely. He's a great guy. I want to meet him someday. He seems very cool. I love him to death. As a human, he's great. He's a cool guy. I like his motivation.

I like being around positive people that inspire me to do better. And when he trusts you, like he knows you, he's cool as fuck. He's a fun guy. Did he get into it with Stavros? Get into it? Yeah. What do you mean? Like were they upset with each other?

Stavros the comic? Yeah. No, really? Is that real? I saw a weird cut-up video that I didn't know if it was a real video or not. Oh, that's probably one of them Ping Trip videos. Oh, it was very funny. It was very funny.

Ping Trip. Shout out to Ping Trip. This is dude Ping Trip who takes – It was impressive. I was like – Me and Duncan Trussell being in love with each other. There's like a ton of them out there. That's very funny.

He's hilarious. He does a great job with those. Duncan's a good guy. Yeah, I don't think Stavros would say jack shit to David Coggins. Nobody's going to talk shit to that guy. He's terrifying. His fucking will and resolve is terrifying. It's impressive.

Oh, this is it? Yeah, it's so good. Want to try a cookie? Want to try a firm milk? Stop. Yeah, this one. Dude, it'll be fun. You're fat as fuck.

Yeah. You want to be fat? Yeah, dude. Being fat's fun. Your mind is full of shit. That's not okay. It's not okay. It's not acceptable.

You need to work harder. I don't want to be doing work. You roll your fat ass out of bed and all you want is some fucking damn cinnamon buns and shit. Yeah, I love that. Man, you are a piece of shit. Oh, my God. This is horrible. Yeah, man.

That's why I was like, are they okay? Oh, my God. This is so harsh. I don't want to work that hard. You're not a man. You're no fucking man, dude. I'm sorry. I can't.

You're a fat, sloppy mother fucker. Okay, okay, okay. This is too real. It was aggressive. I was genuinely concerned. Stavros is one of those guys who's so funny, I don't care if he's fat. Stay fat, bro. I haven't had a chance of meeting him yet, but I really want to.

He's so funny. He's fucking hilarious. He's such a character. He's so funny on stage. He's so funny in real life. He's fucking hilarious. And fucking hustles, too. The clips he puts out, the vlogs and everything.

That's funny. The young kids today, they respect your social media hustle. It's only because what most people don't know about me is I didn't want to do it for so long. You don't understand. I despise social media. The ultimate success for me would be to be so successful

I never have to look at my social media for the rest of my life. I just want to get there. So now because of the work I've put in on it, I respect people who do do the work. Yeah, I respect it. It's definitely it makes a

if you're a good comic and nobody knows, that doesn't help anybody. It's exposure, dude. You have to have it. There's a lot of guys that are doing a really good job with that. Jeff Dye does a really good job with that. There's a lot of guys. Mark Norman a really good job with that. Jeff Dye does a really good job with that. There's a lot of guys. Mark Norman. Yeah.

Sam Morrell. All those guys. Those guys are doing a fantastic job. Oh, when Schultz and Morrell started putting out their clips, that's when I was like, I have to do it. Well, Schultz converted it into a Netflix show. I know. Genius. Amazing.

Well, at first he was doing, it was his he was releasing a new bit every single week. Yeah. And he was like, well, if I can write one minute a week for a year as a brand new hour, 52 minutes. And I just thought that was so inspiring. And I was like, I need to be doing something relative to that. Well, it's also, you know, the pandemic kind of opened up doors and also closed a shitload of them. But it did open up doors with time and when you're just sitting there and you can't do the normal thing that you do you start thinking okay okay okay feel sorry for myself that's all over let's get over that and now let's figure out what can we do yeah and if you're a hustler if you're a guy who's like you know like a guy like andrew

who's always trying to figure things out and get ahead and do better. Yeah, it's like, so he created like a no, and by the way, it's a totally different style of comedy than his standup, which is interesting because it's these rapid fire punchlines where his standup is much more engaging and he pauses more, he laughs a lot. More personable.

Yes, yes. So this is like a different kind of comedy. But it was like really the best kind of comedy for the pandemic. Yeah. Like short attention span, rapid fire jokes, very silly, and turn your phone sideways. It changed everything. Yeah. That's scary to think about.

You had to do it. You had to do it. You had to do something. It was almost like a late night show, the way he wrote that material. Yes. Yeah. And the attention span during that time period was so fast. Remember we thought Quibi was gonna be a good thing? I never thought it was gonna be

a good thing. Nobody in their right fucking mind did, but Hollywood went, well, everyone's watching short things now. And everyone, are you sure? Well, everyone's on their phone. Those are always short videos. What they don't understand is that you can't just set out to create a successful show like that or a successful thing like that and throw a bunch of money at it and know that it's

going to be successful. No. You have to let them become successful. Then you acquire them. That's the only way. Because they'll give up, just like they give up with a TV show. If you have a TV show on ABC and then the first few episodes come out and it doesn't do well and then it drops off with the fourth,

you're done, son, over. But if you have something that you've developed on your own and these videos go viral naturally, then it makes sense that you have a channel where there's 10 seconds of these videos that have already gone viral and people know to look for them. But if you're trying to get people to sign up for some new fucking thing while YouTube already exists.

Yeah. And you're going to dump all the, unless you're like completely uncensored, like Rumble or something like that. That kind of makes sense. That makes sense. But you're not going to be able to compete with them in terms of just entertainment. There's everything on there. I will respect them taking a risk that Hollywood just doesn't do anymore. Every meeting

I go into now is like, so what reboots do we want to do? Right. Like that's a real conversation. Every single meeting I have. And it's so sad. Well, there's probably less projects than ever before. Yeah, definitely. There's probably less money than ever before and less certainty. I mean, nobody wants to sit through 8 p.m. to 8.30 p.m. and watch three different commercial breaks. Yeah. We don't want to do that anymore. No. People are done with that.

Yeah. That shit's stupid. Unless you're a sitcom. That's the only thing that really lives. Yeah. That's, you know, middle of America. Yeah. And then you're watching an arthritis commercial.

Yeah. Come on. What are we doing here? an arthritis commercial. Yeah. Come on. What are we doing here? You know, with Netflix and with HBO and all these different streaming services, it's like,

wow. OnlyFans is getting in on the game as well. Yeah, they're producing comedy too, right? Yeah, they're wrapping my tour bus coming up. I'm so excited. That's hilarious. It's so funny to get a sponsorship. Have you ever seen the amount of money that is spent on content creators, on OnlyFans, and most of it, naked girls?

Have you ever seen the amount of money? Let's guess. How much they spend a year. OnlyFans? Subscribing, yeah. All the money that comes in. How much do you think they spend a year? From all the influencers, if you want to call them that.

Yeah, influencers. Yeah. I'm going to say a year? Yeah. $700 million. It's way more than that, I think. And I think it's probably somewhere around the GDP of a small country. What?

What is it? What's the amount that OnlyFans brings in every year? It's definitely increased. Last year, which is going to be way more this year, 2022's revenue was $2.5 billion. But that's just OnlyFans. There's a couple other sites, too, that have to be included. Bro, if you get enough pictures of tits and feet,

you can buy Guatemala. That's fucking insane. How wild is that? What's the GDP of Guatemala? Let's find out that. Are they doing well anymore? How much? Guatemala averaged

reaching an all-time high of $95 billion. Oh, God. Okay, we're off by a little. Well, that's Guatemala. A record low of $1 billion in 1960. Who's not doing well right now? Okay, let's find a country that's not doing well.

Uruguay. Is that a good one? Where the fuck is Uruguay? I'm not sure. I'm just going to go for ranking and try to find someone. Okay. Get me down to about $2.5 billion. Let's see what they could buy.

It was OnlyFans. Let's start talking. Let's start talking. That's insane. Imagine if I OnlyFans Island. They buy a fucking island. They could. They might be able to start their own country.

Make it one of those content houses where it would be like 10 models living in there. They could have their own rules. Their own country. It wouldn't surprise me at all. They have so much. That's only in a year, bro. That's what's crazy. 25 billion.

Yeah, that's in a year. Now, how much does OnlyFans get? What do they get, like 10%? I think 10%. That's the cut? I think so. Think of that. But I'm wondering what inevitably set them aside from like Patreon's been around forever.

Girls were doing Patreon before OnlyFans. I wonder if the revenue split is better. Maybe the – is it easier to navigate? Well, I think – wasn't it – like, they started it with the idea OnlyFans. I don't necessarily think they started it for just girls doing that. No, they told me they didn't. They started it for, like, fans of for fans of performers and stuff and different things. But that was what really caught on.

Yeah, exclusive content. These gals make so much money. Bullying is going to be at an all-time high in like 10 years, dude. Bullying? Yeah, in schools. How come? Imagine you got beef with a kid in school and at any moment you can go, oh yeah, here's your mom's pussy for $3.99

Oh my god It's gonna be an all time high But in 10 years People could have pictures of every mom's pussy I hope not Videos of your mom fucking They'll make it with CGI You'll be able to do it on your phone in 13 seconds

People just AI-ing it Matt Rife sucking a cock 100% they can make that like you'll be able to do it on your phone in 13 seconds. People just AI-ing it? Matt Rife sucking a cock. Bang. Yeah that video's not out there. 100% they can make that but they can make that right now. That's AI dude that wasn't me. They're real close to being able to do that with like

very realistic I mean they can make your face move and make words come out of your mouth that you didn't say they can take old recordings of you and then they have the baseline. There's a ton of commercials out there of me that I don't have anything to do with it. They're not really my commercial. I didn't really make a commercial.

They used AI. They used my voice. They can do wild shit now, man. And you've got to imagine that, like, if you're, like, a young female celebrity, there's probably already face swaps of you online in porn scenes. Yet there's no good footage of Bigfoot. Not one AI interpretation of Bigfoot. Exactly.

Come on, man. Come on. Well, I think Bigfoot was a real animal at one point in time. Okay. It just makes sense. First of all, historically, it was a real animal. There's a thing called Gigantopithecus. They found its bones in an apothecary shop there was a large primate molar that in our anthropologists found in the pathak

erry sharp that it was in China and it didn't match any known primate in he knew it was too large and there was bones that seemed to indicate it was a jaw bones. It seemed to indicate it was bipedal. They can apparently tell by the shape of the jaw. Like how tall? Eight feet tall. It was an enormous thing. That's what it looked like.

Oh, shit. It's very orangutan like. But that looks like Bigfoot. It is Bigfoot. I think that is Bigfoot. I mean, it's easier to believe one of these just happened to still be around. No. Than a totally new creature, I think.

Yes, but no. It's not easy to believe they're still around. When did they go extinct? They went extinct somewhere around 100,000 years ago. I don't know, man. They find animals sometimes that they thought were extinct. Like when did they? 9.8 feet.

Wow. God damn. Okay, 11,700 years ago in in southern china this is what they know right so they don't necessarily know that it was 11 700 years ago or really might have been like 6 000 years ago they just don't have those bones yet it's all in like when they're finding bones of things you know well they'll like if they do they feel the last bone we found was you know this amount old if they find a new one six months from now they do that all the time with like they're finding all these new versions of human beings like they found denisovans that's a new

kind of human that they found i think they found that in Russia. I won't say that was like 2013 or 2014, but I think they just found another one in China that seems to be different than any other human being they've found before too. So there was multiple versions of human beings, right? There's Neanderthals, there's Homo sapiens, there's a bunch of different versions of us that didn't quite make it. That's so crazy. And one of them they found was the Hobbit person. They found it in the island of Flores. And there was always talk in legend of these little furry men, these little tiny men.

Like how tall? Three feet tall, man. Oh, shit. But they found bones and then when they found bones they realized that this thing lived around the same time as human beings somewhere as recently as i think they think it was like 10 000 years ago but that's what they looked like so they looked like people they used tools they they probably hunted they had brains, and they were tiny and probably covered with fur. And they found multiple bones of these.

At first they thought, like, maybe that's a deformed human or what is this? But now they're reasonably certain that that's a new type of human being. Just didn't make it. Or new type of higher primate. I don't know if you would even say human being. But a little tiny, little weird one. And they think there might still be some of those left in the wild. Have they given any – I know this is a cross-pollination of subjects right now,

but has there been any thought as to these smaller bones being related to, like, aliens per se? Because sometimes they say they're tiny people. Sometimes. I think – well, if you want to subscribe to the idea that human beings have been genetically engineered. Oh, that's a much deeper conversation. Yeah. If you want to subscribe to the idea that human beings have been genetically engineered, because that's one of the parts of UFO folklore. I love that.

The real nutty ones. They want to say that we were seeded with alien DNA. ones they want to say that we were we were seeded with alien DNA and so they took these savage lower primates like the chimpanzees still exist right they took these savage lower primates and with a specific group of them they manipulated their DNA to give them creativity intelligence the ability to communicate you know doubling of the human brain size over a period of two million years. This is a fun thing to believe.

Why not? It's the best thing to believe. The most fun is aliens made us. That's the most fun. That's way more fun than Amish. As far as believing in something. The Amish, you know... They can't be the right ones. They seem happy, which is odd.

There is something to be said about that. I think there's like very low instances of autism amongst the Amish, very low instances of mental health disorders. I think like it sucks to say, but I think working hard all the time is really good for people. Oh, absolutely. And I think physically working hard all the time is good for people. It keeps you focused on something positive and productive. Yeah. When people get too much time on their hands to think and do absolutely nothing else, I mean, you see what happens.

Yeah, these dudes are out there pulling a wagon with a horse still to this day. Out there making butter and shit. Never seen Netflix. They look healthy. None of them are fat. They read. I mean, you probably should use electricity. It's pretty fucking cool.

I'm from Ohio. You'll see them in Walmart sometimes. You can't tell, but they're not like, aww. Are you going through Walmart with a lantern, sir? No, see, that's what I call bullshit. You gotta use all of it or none of it, man. Right, they pull up in a horse and buggy to Walmart. What? No, see, that's where I call bullshit. It's like you can't – you got to use all of it or none of it, man. Right. They pull up in a horse and buggy to Walmart. What?

Yeah. Like, did you – Did they buy toilet paper there? That's a damn good point. That's a good point. And also, like – They just have an outhouse and a stanky butthole. I saw one get out of an Uber one time, and I was like, wow.

Oh, that's outrageous. Yeah. That's outrageous. I was like, come on, man. Commit to the bit. You can't fly. You can't fly. No, you can't.

You can't drive. No, no, no. No trades for you, sir. You familiar with, like, come on, man. Commit to the bit. You can't fly. You can't fly. No, you can't. You can't drive. No, no, no. No trades for you, sir. You familiar with the wrong Springer they do and everything? What does this guy do? He's playing Xbox. Get the fuck out of here, bro. Get the fuck out of here, bro.

You can't do that, man. You're cheating. He's playing Amish and Impossible. This guy's playing a guitar? A guitar hero. Oh, my God. Banjo hero. He's playing guitar hero.

Look, they're in the buggy And then go to Walmart Get the fuck out of here Look how they park too So rude Taking up multiple spots But also It stays

You know Yeah well the horse is smart Cute It might be tied to the pole It might be tied to the pole You ever be stuck Behind one of these On like a one

On like a two way road In a countryside No I haven't It's fucking devastating I think I saw one On the road once When I was going to visit my parents. My parents lived in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania once. Oh.

And I used to have to drive. When I was driving from New York, I would go through Pennsylvania. And when you're driving through, Pennsylvania gets rural, sir. Yeah, of course. It gets rural. And there's fucking deer jumping in front of your car everywhere. It's like there's deer. But the most disturbing thing about that drive was when you pass by where the cattle are because the stench in the air.

For a couple miles. I don't know what I was smelling, whether I was smelling fertilizer or whether I was smelling decay. I don't know what I was smelling. Probably fertilizer. They take all that shit and spread it for miles it smelled so bad yeah i could imagine if you were in that town your your nose gets used to it apparently oh yeah you don't smell it anymore yeah but the fucking what are you breathing

in man i mean it's just toxic it has to be it smelled was like, oh, what? I don't even know if they use all that same stuff. I mean, this is the 90s. I don't know if they use all that same stuff today. Did you see any Amish when you were up there? I think I did. I might be imagining it. This might be the only group we can kind of shit on. I think I might have seen it once. I think I might have seen it once.

I'm like, oh, yeah. But I didn't get stuck behind them. I would just hate to get to heaven and God was like, I'm glad you're here, but you missed out on so much good shit down there. You heard of OnlyFans? Well, they are allowed to go nutty before they rejoin. Rumspringer. Yeah. That's got to be a tough decision.

There's a great documentary on it where they follow these Amish kids and they go party in and have a good time. kids and they go party in and have a good time but you know the thing is like when you're used to that life that life of you know toil and work and manners it's probably

like attractive to cut loose but then you probably feel lost and they probably know that that's why they let them go they're like we already got them programmed. Let them go. That's a good point. I wonder what the percent is that don't go back.

Let's find that out. Because if marriage fails at 50%, that's obviously a huge decision. It's a lifestyle choice. Do you know anybody that was ever in a cult? Not that I know. No. No, I don't believe so. I know quite a few people.

Really? Yeah, I know quite a few people that were in cults when they were kids. How dangerous of cults? You know, there's a lot of different levels of cult. Like, is Jehovah Witness a cult? Is Scientology a cult? It's like, you know, there's cults that are, like, just getting started. I mean, like, doomsday style.

Well, one of them was. She was told that she was an elder and that she was a prophet. And then when the family left when she was 13, she was like, oh, my God, thank God. It was like someone with stress thinking I was a prophet. Now she works at Rite Aid or some shit. She realized now she's really just a 13-year-old kid. But there's a – man, I was talking to Marc Andreessen, and he was telling me that there's successful cults that are still operating in California, a lot of them.

And I'm like, what? So he started labeling all these different cults that operate still in California. They just managed to keep it together. With what end goal? What's the goal of a cult? Just control? Yeah. What end goal?

What's the goal of a cult? Just control? Yeah. I think there's a natural inclination specifically among males to dominate a group of people and have them treat you as if you are this wise sage that's completely in tune with the right way to live life and you're here to teach. And that what you do is you bestow this wisdom upon them. And usually it involves you banging everybody's wife. Usually they all give you all their worldly possessions. They treat you to the finest meals. You eat first.

Then they eat. You know, you bless them. When you talk, everybody listens. And they really do believe that you're divine. And it happens in, like, Waco with the Branch Davidians. I was watching that documentary the other day. Ooh, that guy. I almost bought his car.

No way. What kind of car is it? 68 Camaro. Fuck. Yeah, I found out it was for sale and I almost pulled the trigger. But I was like, what am I doing? What was it going for? What if ghosts are real?

And you're in the car. And what if not just ghosts are real, but like the energy of a person is real. That guy was a psycho. Yeah, because you know what's even crazier? You have the power to start a cult. It would be so fucking easy. It would be so easy. I just want to say to the CIA, I have no desire.

He has none. I do not. I like archery. I like playing pool. I did sign something in the lobby while I was waiting for you, actually. What was that? That was a release form? No, that was a cult admission form.

I'm in. You're in. I've been waiting for the Illuminati. I was like, how many followers do I need before I get the Illuminati invite? We bought land in Wyoming. We're good to go. I was supposed to be there last week, actually. I was supposed to go to Jackson Hole.

Yeah. I haven't been. It was my only week off, and then I went to Chappelle's birthday instead. It's so pretty up there. I want to go so bad. It's so pretty. Do you watch Yellowstone? I haven't. I haven't seen a TV show in like a year. Really? Yeah. Do you watch anything

when you're on the road? Do you watch YouTube? No. I really don't have time. It's like you travel, you do the shows, and then when I get done with the shows I go back to my room and edit for like two hours. do you find that that sometimes gets in the way of writing because you're not experiencing enough life like one of the things like remember in the 80s it was like stock material that everybody would talk about airline seats not moving back and uh do not disturb nobody listens yeah it was all It was because that was your life experience.

You were always just traveling. Yeah. At least very unrelatable. Yeah, because I also, and nobody really knows this because all my clips are about crowd work, but most of my jokes are stories. I don't know if I have a joke less short of three minutes. So with me not really being out there and experiencing a lot of things,

I am curious because I'm about to shoot my next special in September. And when I start all over to build this brand new hour, I'm like, what is going to be the theme of it? Is it going to be about my current state of life? I'm not 100% sure yet. But that's the most fun thing about stand-up is having to start all over and figure out what this new hour is. It's very fun. Yeah. It's scary.

It's very scary. It's just exciting. It's a creative thing, you know, coming up with a new thing. And also you're doing it live in front of people. Yeah. Like there's a lot of bits where I've done them and they were kind of successful. I'm like, you know, I got to put that one on the shelf for a bit. I got to think about that one. Cause I think I'm saying some things that I'm not really believing. I'm kind of like pushing it too much. I'm trying to like make it work instead of like reassessing. So let me reassess. Oh, yeah.

So it's like it's kind of a fun process because, you know, you put it together over time. And at the end, you're like, I got it. This is it. This is the right way to say this thing. And you have to test it in so many different settings as well. Yes, yes. Like last night, we've been doing this tour for, I mean, the better part of this year. And we're in these amazing theaters from like 1,,500 to 6,000, which is incredible.

But sometimes you have to remember that's not always real stand-up. I had some new shit that I'm working on for the upcoming special. I popped it in a couple local spots here last night where it was 25 people the first one and 30 the next one, and I was like, I missed this. This is where you see if jokes work. Yeah, little crowds like the Belly Room at the Comedy Store is the best. It's like, I missed this. This is where you see if jokes work. Yeah, little crowds like the belly room at the comedy store is the best. It's like a little truth serum. You know, you just feel the grossness of a fake, like the way you're phrasing something.

You feel like you're not connected to it or whatever. Yeah, you're like, this is not how a comedian would say this. Not even, a comedian would say this, you're not attached to it. Yeah, I know what you mean. You can't just present in front of 25 people. You've got to be there with them. You've got to really be locked in. And they know it.

Because if you're up there, just I noticed the other day, you could do that in a large crowd of 3,000 people because there's this sort of weird disconnect. Yeah, it's more performance-based than anything like that. It's a different feel. That's why I wanted to do all these theaters right after like leaving the comedy clubs. Like because, you know, obviously agents go, well, the numbers are doing we could. Yeah.

What stadiums do you want to do? I was like, dude, can I get used to a theater first? Because it's a totally different performance. It's a different timing for sure. Yeah. You got to hold laughs longer. And also I realized once I went to watch Louis black and we were doing the same place the next night and we got there early and Joey and I went

across the street and we it was like right there and so we were sitting in the audience and when he was killing when he got with big laughs he would occasionally have a tag that he would hit that I didn't hear because so many people were laughing and I was like oh wow That's something to take into consideration because I didn't think about that because we were like in Like probably the 30th row back, and it was a pretty big theater And so the roars were really loud like when he was killing it was really loud So as the laughter what and then he was like blah blah blah blah blah and I didn't know what he said

I'm like oh you can't hear because people are, you got to wait for certain tags. You can't hit them like a comedy club. No. Bang, bang, bang. The laughter, the loudness of the laughter when you're in the midst of it, it's too loud. Yeah. Oh, dude, I got so lucky. I was able to be on the show with one of Chappelle's birthday shows at MSG this past week.

Yeah, I saw that. And I had never been to a stadium before. I had never even been to Madison Square Garden. So I don't know that I've really been to a stadium. No, I've been to a Clippers game in my life. That's it. But I've never performed anything that big. And my first couple jokes up there, I realized I stepped on the laughs probably five times.

Yeah. Because you literally have to go, ah, ah, ah. Like the laughs take so much longer to get to you. Yeah, 15,000 people is another level up above theaters. Yeah, but the positive energy when the joke does hit. Fuck. The biggest place I ever did, Dave and I did 25,000 people in Tacoma, Washington. That was bananas.

25,000? It was bananas. Yeah, it was so fun. What was the venue? Goggins was there for that,000? It was bananas. What was the venue? Goggins was there for that one. No way. It was the Tacoma Dome. That's a sick name. It was dope. We did it in the round too. It was bonkers. The laughs

were just like, what is this? When you hit a big punchline and the whole place just falls out, you're like, holy shit. I haven't done in the round yet. I don't know if I'd like it. It's great. Is it? It's intimate.

It's weirdly intimate. Oh, I would like that then. The thing is you're really in there with the people as opposed to a theater. See, the thing about – or if you're doing an arena and it doesn't have a round, the thing is like you have this big-ass stage, and you're above everybody, and there's like a gap. And then so there's the stage, which is you, and then there's them. But when you're in the round, then it's everyone in a circle. So people are looking at people.

Everyone's in there together. I didn't think about that. They are looking across at each other. And we're all feeding off each other. And everybody's having a good time. So everyone's laughing and it's fun. And you're wandering around. So it's playful. You're wandering around this big circle.

It's great. Fuck, I'm going to have to try it. I love it. I'm going to have to try it. It's my favorite way to do big places. By far. I don't like doing them the other way. The other way just feels like I want to be out there with you guys.

I don't want to be like other way. The other way, it just feels like I want to be out there with you guys. I don't want to be like up here. Yeah. It feels weird. I also feel bad for somebody sitting so fucking far away in an arena. Well, usually they have big screens too. But that's not what you're there for. Yeah, but you're there also just like the experience of experiencing it with a lot of people there. You know?

Yeah. Like there's a thing about experiencing things with a lot of people. Like I saw Guns N' Roses in Greece. No way. I saw Guns N' Roses in Africa. of people there you know yeah like there's a thing about experiencing things with a lot of people like a big like i saw guns and roses in greece no i saw guns and roses i saw that photo it was so dope but it was just the the feel of all those people having a good time there's like just just this wave of fun and positive feeling that's like in the air that I think people, it's like that thing that I was saying that there's like, there's things in the world that you can't measure, but they're real and we seek them out. You know, we seek out these weird moments where people collectively can experience

something at the same time. I love that like psychological sync up of there's just something contagious of being in the middle of a crowd of people enjoying themselves that just takes so you want to enjoy yourself as well. It's contagious. It's contagious. Laughter for sure is. But fun is too. You know, good times are contagious.

You know, it's and so are bad times. That's a good book. Yeah, good times are contagious. Sounds like it's a book on STDs, though. Never mind. Never mind. We'll take it back. Never mind.

Fuck. Yeah. It's just a weird aspect of being a person. We have this stupid myth of the loner. Like, I like to be by myself like that's not good no that's not normal that's me that's somebody's made to be that way i think every now and again it's good to be by yourself but when i think about loners i think i'm like ted kaczynski i think like the unabomber or some fucking psycho out there laying bear traps no in the middle of montana you have

to laugh or you will go fucking insane. I think people need people too. I don't think it's a good thing to be by yourself too much. I think that's one of the things that really freaked everybody out about the pandemic. When everything got locked down and people were terrified and they were in their homes for months and months at a time without any interaction with other people, when they finally did see people, they didn't know how to behave.

They were weirded out. Everybody was scared. Yeah. It was so uncomfortable. It was so weird. It was so weird. It was such a mind fuck. When you tour, do you travel with a lot of people?

No. No? No. Because that's like the most specific thing I've been trying to build with the tour I'm on right now is I wanted to make sure I surrounded myself with people who were going to make all of this journey positive and fun for me. If you have a lot of people. Because you need people. Not a lot of people.

But the right people. Well, yeah. Look, good people. I travel with good people that I know. Like comics that I know. People that I know. Yeah. But sometimes people get on

to Raj I won't understand it's just chaos not only that there's always problems there's always a guy that's late there's always the guy that's a mooch there's always a guy that does this is always guys trying to get you to fucking go in on some liquor deal with me yeah or CBD I know guys who have fucking entourages and when I run into the entourage it's like there's a few of them that are really cool there's a few of them that are just

you know you got a lot of people around you man this is a lot of things to manage do you like this? some people like it though they're like rolling deep two, three SUVs I also don't love going out.

Oh, out afterwards? Yeah, dude. I mean, every city we go to is like, hey, this club wants to host you for a free night of whatever. And I'm like, dude, I not only need, but want sleep. Yeah, but you can't get it. So stay out. I definitely wouldn't get it if I went out. Maybe if you went out, maybe

that's what's the key to you getting some sleep. Go out. You're an instigator. Do a little partying. Do you drink? No, not really. Not at all? Like, for an occasion. Does that put you out? No, because I'm a tequila guy. Which is kind of that upper a little bit.

Is that real? I think it is. I always do feel like I have a little bit more energy. We've Googled that before. Is that a myth? It's alcohol. But isn't there some sort we? Is that a myth? Yeah. Is that a myth? It's alcohol. It's alcohol. It's alcohol. But isn't there some sort of an effect that's different? Because is tequila...

It seems different. It's clear. That's the difference. That's the one difference that we did dig into. Like, it's clear. It doesn't have additives. It's probably the most pure. And those impurities are things that can cause hangovers.

I mean, I'm not a fan of any of it. I hate all alcohol. I don't enjoy any of it. It tastes all alcohol. I don't I don't enjoy any of it It tastes fucking terrible. It's not good for you All those things are true, but I like it. What's your drink? I like a whiskey Oh, yeah, you're a grown fucking man American whiskey on the rocks. I just I like that taste I like that Whoa, you like suffrage like it. It's not suffering. No, it's like, yeah.

That's what it's like. You don't have to. You can also enjoy, mmm. I enjoy that too. I like fucking Gatorade shit. I like a lot of things. When I drink Gatorade, I never go, woo! But if I drink

Buffalo Trace, I'll drink Buffalo Trace and go, You don't smoke cigarettes, do you? I have smoked cigarettes before comedy shows. Oh, really? Does it just calm you down? No, it lights me up. Lights my brain up. Really? Yeah.

Never could do it. My parents were heavy smokers. I like cigars. Well, it's a very dangerous habit. And even I think about that when I do shows sometimes. Like I limit myself to one or two. Because I feel like I start liking it and I start smoking all the time. Fuck that. That's terrible for you.

It's terrible for you to just do it. You know, supposedly those American spirits are better because it's just tobacco. But all of it is like burning leaves in your lungs. Yeah. tobacco but all of it is like burning leaves in your lungs yeah and it doesn't it doesn't seem to like marijuana does not seem to have the same health problems with people's lungs unless you're probably a chronic marijuana smoker because you gotta think how much how much of the paper are you smoking because you're not just smoking the leaf and how and especially if you're rolling blunts i know a guy a lot of guys who love blunts

and they're smoking blunts all day long so you're taking in a lot of tobacco yeah that's a lot of tobacco on top of the weed you ever do the pens yeah we pens i mean that can't be good for you right like that is just chemical isn't it well it's it's definitely chemicals right it depends on how they manufacture them but it's different kinds of oils. I know some of them do it with MCT oil, which is like food grade oil. But I don't know if there's strict standards on that stuff. I don't know. And where are you getting them made?

Are you getting them made here? Are you shipping those bitches to China? Who's making these things? Yeah, they're $7. They can't be made here. They're too accessible. They probably can't make the, they probably can't import the actual cannabis.

So I bet they actually do make it here, now that I think about it. That makes sense, that they probably do make it here. They probably would have to make it here. But do they make the pens here, like the ones that explode and go through people's brains?

Oh, is that a real thing? I thought that was a myth. I thought that happened one time and all of them do it. There was this one where this guy had this thing lodged in his head in the x-ray. I'm like, is that real? I want to believe it's real. Because the vape exploded? Yeah.

Like a rocket. But that doesn't even make sense. I can't, yeah. What mechanism would make it fire? It seems like it would just blow out. It doesn't seem like it would propel forward. No. With the kind of thrust that would be required to enter your brain.

It's not a musket. Right. It's not a cannon. Bring us back to the cannon days. Just think about that, man. Wooden boats shooting iron balls at each other. I mean, take it back more centuries when you had to be a knight. Vaping can seriously damage your health. E-cigarette exploded

in a teenager's mouth, breaking his jaw and blowing out teeth because of his botched do-it-yourself hacks. Oh, God, this kid. He was in Russia. Of course it was in Russia! These wild people. Did you see the picture before I scrolled up? He was nine years old.

Do we want to see it? Oh, it blew see. Do we want to see it? Oh! Oh my god! Oh, it blew his face apart. Oh god damn it. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh my god. Oh my god. I wasn't sure if that's the same one you saw,

but that sounded close. Blew his face apart. Is that the e-cigarette company? I believe it said oftentimes the problem isn't the pen it's the people who use it.

Man, the most gaslighting shit I've ever read. The guy who's probably the one who caused the accident. Yeah. He made it explode. We had Peter Berg on the other day

and he was talking about the opioid crisis because he created that series Painkiller on Netflix you haven't seen it's fucking incredible But it's about the Sackler family and how they created this and one of the things that they did was when people got hooked on Oxycontin they they had like a policy of hammering the abuser go after them They were drug addicts like shame them. So that's what they would do. Like, oh, he was a drug addict. This person was a drug addict.

It has nothing to do with whether or not our drug is addictive. He's a drug addict. And so that's what they did. That was their gaslighting. But you can't be a drug addict without the drugs. I know, but they just made... If you can make someone think that someone else is a drug addict, that's a shameful

thing. Oh, he's a drug addict. It's shameful. And so they shame the abusers. That's fucked up. Yeah, it's typical corporate gaslighting. They like to do stuff like that. It's fun. Change the narrative.

Get that Russian troll farm involved. Start going after those drug addicts. Those damn drug addicts are the problem. It's not the pills. I take mine on a regular basis. I have had zero problems. And in fact, I had to go off before surgery and I had no problem whatsoever. I did it the way the doctor told me to.

The FDA is smarter than you. I hope you know. I can see this written on Twitter already. I have another social media theory to go along with these troll farms. So you know how there's a new TikTok dance every week? I've heard about these things.

Same. As much as I post on TikTok, I don't fucking watch anything. It's the thing I'm most proud of. Good for you. But anyways, there's always something trending. Every single week, there's some new dance that every girl from 11 years old to 40 year old is doing, right? But to my recollection, at least up until 2015, if somebody came up with a dance, the Dougie, the Cat Daddy, that person was famous for making that dance a thing, right? Everybody knew who that was. There's never an originator of these dances.

And I have a theory that TikTok does AI dances of trends that they push out to people's streams and go, and then everybody goes, oh, this is the trend. I have to do that now. Because there's never a person taking credit for, I was the first person to fucking do whatever this shit is. That never happens. Interesting. I think it's AI infiltrated trends. I don't believe they're really created by people. I was the first person to fucking do whatever this shit is. That never happens. Interesting.

I think it's AI infiltrated trends. I don't believe they're really created by people. Well, TikTok is a genius company. If you want to look at it from a perspective of how effective it is. And it's interesting because, you know, I had Adam Curry on. Do you know who Adam Curry is? No. He's the original podcaster. Okay.

Podcaster number one. And he has a different theory than a lot of, most people that I talk to say TikTok is dangerous. It's like tracking all your information and everything you do online. But his theory is they're all doing that. And what they don't like is that this Chinese company is eating their lunch. This Chinese company has figured out a way to have the most addictive out of all of these social media sites. TikTok's the most addictive. And he's saying, like, look, if you don't think that they're all tracking your shit on a regular basis, they're definitely doing that.

And they're probably using your microphone. There's a weird coincidence that pops up all the time where you're talking about something and then you see ads for it. Like, that's weird. Did you watch Social Dilemma? Yes, I did. Crazy. I had the guy who did it, Tristan Harris, come in and talk about it. It's a fucking –

It's terrifying. It's a terrifying thing and it's – we're interacting with something that we're not designed for. Yeah. Like, we evolved to experience natural things, animals, wildlife, beautiful scenery. That's why we react to those things. That's like part of what we are. And now all of a sudden we're locked into this thing that we don't have any like reference of history for.

There's no like, well, back in the 1800s when high speed internet first was available, there was a lot of confusion. A lot of propaganda got pushed by various nations until mind-reading became available. And then it made lying impossible. That's literally what we probably need to get out of this mess. We need mind-reading.

We need mind-reading. We need to make lying impossible. And we've got to get to it before they have complete and total control of your money. We've got to do it before people agree to a centralized digital currency that's attached to a social credit score system. If we can get to mind reading before that, then people will uprise. And then they'll realize, like, okay, this is outrageous. Like, this is not how the world's supposed to be run.

realize like, okay, this is outrageous. Like this is not how the world's supposed to be run. And if it's ubiquitous, like if the whole world has mind reading software, it makes all the other stuff very difficult. I mean, you could somehow or another force compliance, but it's going to be very difficult to do that with all the soldiers in sync. Now it's going to be very difficult to like lead armies where people are going to know what your actual intentions are and they're going to know that this is motivated by money and that this report that you've brought in front of congress about the the movement of these terrorists and the dangers of their weapons of mass destruction we're going to know it's not true so it's not it's going to end wars do you do you have do you have any idea how mean it is to bring guests on the show get them so high and then talk about the worst possible realistic outcomes of this world

i don't know if it's the worst possible i have to go build a fucking bunker after this and get all my cash and gold immediately no you're gonna be fine you're gonna be fine it's just this is a different life and we we have to adapt on the fly this It's just this is a different life. And we have to adapt on the fly. We live in a different life. This is a different life than any human being that we are aware of has ever lived in. When would you have liked to have lived? I like this time right now.

Really? Yeah, this is what I'm accustomed to. I enjoy it. How old are you? 56. What year were you born? 1967. I would have liked to have been born in like 62. Really? Grow up through the 70s, enjoy the 80s as a young adult, 90s become a real adult, start a family, and then learn all this stuff later. I don't like being a part of this generation at all. Well, that's kind of what I did. I mean, I became an adult human before the internet.

And then the internet came around, and I first got on it when I was 27. That was the first time. I went to CompUSA, and I bought a little Apple computer, and it was hooked up to like a 14.4 modem, and you had to dial up to get online. It was like, baby. Oh, I remember. Yeah.

I'm so lucky to have got to witness that. It was so slow. It was like, baby. Oh, I remember. Yeah. I'm so lucky to have got to witness that. It was so slow. Like, it was CompUSA. You'd go on to, like, these, what was the one website that everybody used that went away? AOL. America Online. America Online. You've got mail.

And you'd get an email. You're so excited. Like, oh, my God, someone wrote me. And you'd, like, write your friends. Like, this is crazy. I'm writing letters letters to my friends i read something about you and the internet and i'm curious if it's true is it true you used to spend like tens of thousands of dollars on high speed internet to play a video game better i spent a lot of money having a t1 line installed in my house yeah to play what to play quake what is Quake? Quake is an amazing 3D online deathmatch game where you're running around with rocket launchers and rail guns,

and you're running through these mazes, and you're fighting other people that are on your screen in real time. You've never heard of Quake? No, man. It's a 3D shooter. Show them some Quake 3 arena. You're the scariest nerd I've ever met. I've been meaning to not tell you, so they just remastered Quake 2.

So it just came out like a week ago. Oh, my God. And new HD 4K. I've never seen this. Oh, God, look how good it looks. Oh, my God, it looks so good. So this was the game I really started with, was Quake 2. The original game.

There's new levels, too. They made new stuff for it. But the thing about this game is not really the levels. The thing about this game is deathmatch. Right. What was deathmatch? Deathmatch is one-on-one or team versus team like you're on a team with four like you could what you could do is you could You jump on a server online and you would look to join a team like say if you're playing rocket arena

You can find a server you could just join a team Okay and so and then once the teams were filled the game would start three, two, one. And then you're got, like your side is like one color and the other side is green. And you're running through this fucking maze looking for the enemy and trying to acquire like weapons and all these different things.

But this is the game. This is Quake 3 Arena. And so it's these wild graphics. This looks fun. It's fun as fuck, dude. It's very early 2000s. I love the graphics. Give me some volume so you can hear it. So you hear things too graphics. This looks fun. It's fun as fuck, dude. It's very early 2000s. I love the graphics. Give me some volume so you can hear it.

So you hear things, too. You hear your footsteps and you're running through here. And then you find the people and you duke it out. And when you hit them, it makes a... Oh, I love that. Oh, shit. So now he's got to get the health. Give me some health.

Give me some armor, Max. I can see getting addicted to this. Oh, fuck yeah, you can. I'm getting it right now it's so fun and this dude's good so this dude dude is playing here he knows what the fuck he's doing now he's got a rocket launcher oh shit now motherfuckers are about to die look at that. He's got to get some armor. And your internet speed would depict how quick your movements were and everything.

How crisp you could play the game. Yes. The lag is the big one. Like how close you are to the server. That's a very important thing. And how good your internet connection is. Look at how good this guy is. This guy's a killer so these kids who play this game and maybe even adults they get so damn addicted that they they learn

all the maps inside and out so they know all the moves on the maps like there's certain places where you can hop from one ledge to another ledge and you could camp and stand there when they come through the doorway you blast them there's all sorts of weird, sneaky little tricks in these games. Oh, that is so cool. People get really good at it. I was curious if that was true. It's so addictive. It was so addictive.

I had a quick cold turkey. And then we built a LAN room at our old studio in LA, and I had a quick cold turkey again. Same game? It got too crazy, yeah. Quake, the new version of it. What is the online called? Quake Champions? This is the one they're playing.

They still did this championship, and this guy Rafa, he's been the man in this game for a few years. So these guys are like top of the... Give me some volume. Nothing is really worked out. You think you're this big, early scale that can then just go in and bully the frags away. Look at that commentary.

Look at the commentary. Look at the sport. Amazing. I will say I don't get it. I don't get watching other people play video games. Well, because you play it. So if you play the game, you know the game, and you know how hard it is, and you know what he's doing is so impressive.

Is it? Lower their volume. It's like golf or other sports. Yes. If you don't get the sport, you won't watch that. It's like for me, because I play it, this is very intriguing. It just feels like video games are something that if you play it enough, anybody can get good at it.

Yeah, but it's a lot of like fast thinking, hand-eye coordination. Yeah, that's very true. You have to practice your aim. There's a lot of like fast thinking, hand-eye coordination. Yeah, that's very true. That is very true. You have to practice your aim. There's a lot going on. There's different weapons behaving different ways. They're studying the maps and strategy. I mean, it's just.

Look how he's fucking that dude up. Woo. I can't imagine sitting down and watching this when like there's Pornhub. You know what I mean? Once you jerk off, then you go right back to it. You know what? Yeah, you know what? Two things can't be true.

You're right. Look how this guy's doing this. This is genius, man. He's really good. It's so fast-paced. Is this video sped up? No. Or is this how quickly he plays the game?

No, this is how quick the game is. That's very impressive. That's one of the things that's exciting about it. Because it requires you to really think quickly and move quickly. And you're changing weapons. And the guy he's playing can't kill him either. He's up 8-0 right now. Yeah, he's fucking mad.

That's frustrating for the other guy. And the guy, every time he spawns, he's got no energy. Or rather, no weapons. He's just got a bullshit standard gun that you're not going to kill this guy with. So the longer you live, you get more powerful. Well, the longer you traverse the map and accumulate all the different armor and shit.

So this guy, every time he fucks that dude up, he gets some of his armor. He's getting the super health. So all these things. Look at that. Oh, he's fucking that dude up. Oh, he got killed. Huh. Yeah.

Yeah. That guy's really good. He's really good. But that's what it is. It's like you get so, and it's so exciting. It's so much more exciting than literally anything else that's a game. More than Halo? People love Halo.

I've never played Halo. I don't play Halo. But it's kind of the same sort of thing. It's a first-person shooter, right? And you're running around. Isn't Halo first-person or is it third-person? Yeah, first-person. So those things are just super, super addictive.

I think the chat rooms would be addictive. People say the meanest, craziest shit. Oh, they go crazy. Dude, it's insane. They go crazy on those online games. They actually just made an announcement about that that's going to change. You get something like eight strikes, which I don't know exactly how they're going to count those. But they have AI listening now, so all those game chats are being recorded.

Oh, shit. As you start talking shit, they're going to start striking you down, and you're going to have to take a break for a year's stored. Oh, shit. And if you start talking shit, they're going to start striking you down and you're going to have to take a break for a year or something. Oh, my God. Good. Well, they're just

going to sign back on through a fucking VPN. Your new email address, whatever it is. But still. Wear a fake nose. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here.

Change the pronouns. You're not going to stop these junkies. These people are straight up junkies. It has never changed. As racist as it can be. It's so funny.

People aren't good. It's so funny. Well, they definitely like to be naughty. Oh, the things people will say when people can't see who's saying it. Yeah, people like to be naughty. It's impressive, dude. Well, it's also, it's like, you feel're protected you're you're in sweden or you're in fucking montana you're on the internet it's a fake name you know you're super killer 69 whatever

and you're out there fucking people up and i wanted to i wanted to do like a modern troll version of bully beatdown remember that show oh yeah we're like you use the same technology and sources they use for, like, catfish. You know, they do all this research to really find the person. So say you're talking shit to fucking Sugar Sean, right? Like, you're, like, this constant troll. You're always talking about what a trash fighter he is. We team up with Sean. We do the research.

We find out what this dude really is, and we go, you said you could beat him up, or a 15-year-old girl could beat him up. It's like a dozen times. So we're going gonna offer you an amount of money to put your money where your mouth is but he also gets the chance to whoop your ass yeah the guy's gonna go um i didn't really mean that of course but then he looks but then at least it looks like a bitch in front of everybody but he's gonna have to sign the waiver that's where it's you gotta you gotta give him enough money has to be worth it yeah but the thing the thing is, they're not going to fucking win. You know, I always wondered that about cops. Like, how do they have to sign waivers, right, on the show Cops?

Yeah, so Cops does, but I told you that show that's been going on, it was called Live P, it's called something else now. They have a weird workaround because it's live on TV, streaming for three hours a night, and it's like, they always say, they're following me don't worry about them the cops are doing a documentary about us right oh and i guess that's the loophole just sort of like the prank calls in vegas kind of thing huh that's hilarious man can you imagine just being that fucked up you're like yeah i still i still want to see the tape back when i get out

of jail well you're on meth and your fucking pants are down by your ankles and you're on TV. There's a light in your face and you piss all over your pants. You're like, huh? Why were you driving that car? I don't know. You're on meth. You're like, I'm just trying to get home. Shit. I'm not

built for jail, dude. I hope I never go. Why am I awake? And then they offer you like 500 bucks. Oh, dude. I hope I never go. Why am I awake? And then they offer you like 500 bucks. Oh, okay. And you just sign away and next thing you know, Travis, was you on TV pissing your pants?

Were you doing meth and codeine again? I don't fucking know. Why am I on TV? Those poor people, man. But they've got the highlight type forever, you know? It's such exploitation. Do you remember when Steven Seagal had a show like that?

I remember hearing about it. I never saw it. Bro. Was he like his own dog, the bounty hunter? Tom Segura had a whole bit about it. Tom Segura became obsessed with Steven Seagal at one point in time. It's in his first special, right? Or the second one?

I forget which one. But Steven Seagal, he was like a cop. Like an actual cop. Like he went through the academy and everything? I don't know. The lawman. The lawman. So I don't know. Maybe they deputized him? I don't know how that fucking worked. But Steven

Seagal was hanging out with these cops in Louisiana in Jefferson Parish and he started taking on a Louisiana accent. No, he did not. Yes, he did. It was amazing. See if you can find video of him talking. He's a fucking character, that guy.

So, imagine you're a kid and, you know, maybe you're selling crack or whatever And you get pulled over By fucking Steven Seagal You've got to think it's punk And he's actually got a real gun And he might shoot you and there's cameras there

You're like what is going on am I in a movie Like you would think you're in a movie I would do something like this Imagine that you're a kid and you're in You grow up in a bad neighborhood you You're 17. This is the first time you've ever met anybody famous. You're getting arrested by him? It's the fucking guy from Above the Law?

Everybody's seen Above the Law. Yeah, how can you possibly take this serious? Also, if they start roughing you up, you're going to be kind of pissed off that Steven Seagal is just allowed to touch you like this. They're going to tase him. Everybody off so they're tasing the guy. So what does this guy have? Crack? What is it? A mask. Oh, carjacking.

Damn. They have a beautiful way of talking. Yeah. People from Louisiana. I would probably start talking like that if I moved there. I would adopt it. My opener's from Louisiana. It's a beautiful way of talking.

There's a flow to it, you know? It's wholesome. Yeah, it sounds good. There's a cool flow to it. It makes you feel safe. I don't feel in danger when somebody from Louisiana talks to me. Oh, yeah, I'd feel in danger if I was tied up and they were talking to me like that. Well, yeah.

Matt, if anybody ties me up, they're going to sound terrible. Terrible error. Am I going to be murdered or raped? All of the above. Wow. Depending on how they're feeling, which one starts first. You know? Again, not built for prison.

Did you ever watch that show, like, 60 Days In? 60 Days In Prison? No. Is it 60 Days In is the name of it? Something like that. It might be 30. I think it's 60, where it's, like, they send regular people into jail, like, usually, like, a county jail or something like that, or a state jail, I guess, if that's a thing.

Oh, my God. They send them in as actors. Oh, my God. To try to, like, infiltrate, like, you know, who's bringing the drugs in, who are the kingpins in here. to try to infiltrate who's bringing the drugs in, who are the kingpins in here. And look, bro, some of them rise in the ranks within like a week.

It's impressive. But also so insulting and so dangerous. Super fucking dangerous. And sometimes they get compromised. No, sometimes they get compromised. Once the prisoners figure it out, they'll be like, because some of the prisoners have heard about the show. So sometimes they'll be interviewing the prisoners.

The prisoners will be like, yeah, I think he's from that show. What? One of them's a cop. So he's watching behaviors of other officers. This guy volunteered to join his father in the program. Wow. Substitute teacher, electrician. The cop is an interesting one.

He entered the program to observe the behaviors of the corrections officers. Maybe he heard there's some abuse going on. Yeah, people can just volunteer. Wow. See what it was like. This guy's a martial arts trainer. Wow. Brought his son with him to show what it was like in prison.

Yeah. This guy has family members in there. It's a lady. She wanted to see what it was like for them. Whoa. Yeah. That's crazy. Former gang member. Whoa. That's crazy. Former gang member? Wow. It's impressive.

They go in there and they really live with these people and they get information. Some dudes rise to ranks of being like the head of the cell block and at the end of the 60 days get to go, ah, gotcha. Oh my god, that's so crazy. Are these like minimum security? Probably. It's not prison. That's so crazy. Are these, like, minimum security? Like, are they going to back?

Probably. They're not sending them to, like, safe. It's not prison. It's jail still. Yeah, yeah. Which, I mean, is still dangerous. I mean, you see a fight on every fucking episode. Oh, my God.

It's so impressive. The geniuses that are in jail is... This first guy, season six, he's a super fan, and he's a big gamer. I remember that guy. And wanted to see if he could just try it out. Oh, my God. Yeah. Spoiler alert on that one.

Uh-oh. Yeah, does it not work out? Pretty early. I can only imagine. Yeah. Yeah. The average person wouldn't do well in there. No, there's people who the first day when they're getting checked in,

and they're just like in that cold cell with everybody else while they're getting all their paperwork and shit done, because they book you like an actual inmate. You do the entire process. Wow. And some people break in there. They just get the pressure. They tell themselves things like, I feel like somebody's looking at me, like they're onto me.

They already know I'm a fake. I mean, if these prisoners find out you're a fake, they're going to murder you because you know all their secrets. Especially when you're sleeping. Oh, yeah. You have to sleep around that. Yeah. That's where like your way of sleeping would like really come in handy. Oh, bro. You have to sleep around that. Yeah. That's where your way of sleeping would really come in handy. Oh, bro, I might run shit in prison, dog.

You might run shit. You'd have all that time to think. I got to figure out who's going to be my boyfriend, but I'm up all night. You figure it out. Might as well cash in. You figure it out, man. You start a cult in prison. Has anybody not done that yet?

I bet they have. Had to have. Had to have. Had to have. That's also one of the scariest places to investigate a prison, dude. Well, there's a lot of con men that go to jail. And if you're a con man like Manson, like you let that guy in the general

population, he's starting to cult. Oh my god. Yeah. He's so confident in himself. Did you watch the show Blackburn on Apple TV? No. No? What is that? Very good. It's about, based on a true story, it's a dude like almost like you're describing. He's a badass hustler. Can run shit really fast. They find out about it a dude, like, almost like you're describing. He's a badass hustler. Can run shit really fast. They find out about it. Like, hey,

we'll give you a chance to get out of here. He's in, like, 10 years plus, 15 years maybe for drugs and stuff. He has to go get a serial killer to confess where the bodies are hidden, and they can't get anybody to break this guy. And it's just about that. Like, that's what the episode's all about. Oh, who's in that? It's really good. Taron Egerton?

Egerton? Oh, he's really good. And then the guy who played, like, Richard Jewell in the Richard Jewell movie. And he's the Olympic park bomber, too. That guy's great. Who is that guy? Find it. Give that guy his propers. He's really good in it, too.

Some people are just really good talkers. Yeah. They can talk to themselves in or out of anything. Scary, isn't it really good talkers. Yeah. They can talk to self in or out of anything. Scary, isn't it? Oh, yeah. Into anything around any group of people. And can tell a checkable lie. Yeah. And just can commit so hard

to it. His name is Paul Walter Hauser is the actor's name. Paul Walter Hauser. What's it called again? Blackbird? The show's called Blackbird. Well, when I get to watch a TV show again. Oh, you said you don't watch TV. Sorry. There's the, yeah, this is him getting arrested.

He gets the Jamie Cyril of approval. Yeah, and then this guy, he's just like a crazy, I forget exactly the, I don't know if it's like children or whatever, but they think he's got bodies buried somewhere. This guy, it's really good. And this guy has to get close to him. Yeah. Wow. They approach him. Yeah. Wow. They approach him about it. That's the scary shit, right?

Like that guy in Long Island. Wife had no idea he's out there killing prostitutes for several decades. Oh, dude. Serial killer stuff is so fascinating to me. So fascinating. And how you can just live your life normally. And they get away with it. Some of them, like the Zodiac Killer, they never caught that guy.

He got away with it. Man. I thought they caught him. He's still out there? I believe. They never found him? I believe they never caught the Zodiac Killer. I'm pretty sure.

I'm fascinated by John Wayne Gacy's stuff. It's fascinating. Okay. Because it's such an insane level of psychosis. Dressing up like a clown and killing kids. It's so terrifying. Yeah. And just burying them under the house.

Never caught. Fuck. Never caught the Zodiac Killer. Wow. Yeah. That's part of life, though. The official investigation remains open. Public interests remain high.

Countless theories have gained traction over the years, pointing a finger at various men who share physical markers or specific interests with the famed killer. They did crack the code, though, but I don't think they know who he is. AI was like, I can't get that quick. That's what I thought it was. It takes so much time for you dummies. Oh, what does it say?

It's been reportedly revealed. Oh, no. Let's see what it says here. DNA points to an Air Force veteran. According to Independent Investigation Agency, Reportedly revealed. Oh, no. Let's see what it says here. DNA points to an Air Force veteran. According to Independent Investigation Agency, their information is solid. DNA evidence. Interesting.

Is the guy still alive or is he dead? Huh. Inaccurate, says that tweet. Inaccurate. I don't know. So what is the community notes on the tweets as inaccurate? Can we click on those? What does it say?

Okay, it says misleading tweet title inaccurate. Attached to article states the FBI denies case is closed. Article states author has cited a whistleblower, not FBI identification. Read tweets linked article. Also, case breakers group making claims, not FBI. Okay, so it's not that the fbi said that this case is closed so it's a theory didn't they catch richard richard ramirez from his shoes did they yeah i think they found his shoe print you know what's most fucked up about guys like that they go to jail and women want to marry them why is that I think it's some ancient primal instinct that some women have

to be connected to killers. What? Yeah. Like they, they, they, do they see it as a power? I mean, I'm one, there's probably like legitimate psychologists like Jordan Peterson can answer this much more accurately, but I would imagine there's something, because it's such a forbidden thing to do to kill people. Someone just kills people all the time. There's probably some bizarre attraction that some mentally ill people have to someone like that. That's probably based on, it's probably based on DNA. Because if you wanted your children to survive you would better off you'd be better off you know back in the barbarian days with a slaughterer not a slaughtery yeah right that's the guy you want there's a level of out of unhealthy alpha as long as he doesn't kill you yeah you fuck him and he kills everybody else like they might even see romance in that like he chooses to kill everybody else not me

vampires that's the thing about vampires. Women, like the whole Twilight thing. As long as he doesn't kill me. You know? These other eating, sucking deer's drives. He doesn't want to kill people anymore. Do you believe in vampires? Well,

I think scientifically they believe that if vampires existed, there would be no more humans. because it would just be a matter of time. Of feeding? They would just get us all and then turn us all into vampires. And then just the amount of people that would get turned into vampires, it would be an epidemic. You wouldn't be able to stop it. If they were superhuman in their powers and all that stuff, they would just overrun us.

I guess that's that. They would just overrun us. Unless they also would recognize that they would run out of a food supply. Well, then what are they going to do to survive? Just to survive, they have to keep eating people. And either they kill the people or they turn the people into vampires. So it's like depending on which lore. Which lore are you going by?

Are you going by the one where they kill all the people? Or are you going by the one where they drain the blood of the ones they love and then they let them turn into vampires because it's romantic? I mean people definitely do drink blood. It happens all the time. Like those are real rituals that happen in Europe all the time. It's real satanic blood ritual shit. For sure. That's real.

But then there's like, you know, how much of it is just what people are scared of. They're scared of, you know, a thing like that. I mean, maybe it represents psychopaths to them. Because the original Dracula was based on Vlad the Impaler. Yeah. I think Vlad Tepes was his name. And this was a guy who literally impaled people on stakes and sat down and ate his lunch in front of them. Insanity. And there was a woman who and ate his lunch in front of them. Insanity.

And there was a woman who did bathe in the blood of children. That's a tricky one, too. That's Elizabeth Bathory. Yeah. Clinical vampirism. But I don't think that was to do with vampirism. I think it was more, she just believed the blood kept her youthful, I suppose. No, well, we'll get into that in a second.

But look at this. Clinical vampirism, more commonly known as Renfield syndrome, is an obsession with drinking blood. The earliest presentation of clinical vampirism in psychiatric literature was a psychoanalytic interpretation of two cases contributed by Richard L. Vandenberg and John F. Kelly. The authors point out over 50,000 people addicted to drinking blood have appeared in the psychiatric literature from 1892 to 2010. 50,000 people. This was documented in the work of Austrian forensic psychiatrist Richard von Kraft-Ebing.

Nailed it. Many medical publications concerning clinical vampirism can be found in the literature of forensic psychiatry with the behavior being reported as an aspect of extraordinary violent crimes. Jesus. Jesus. Yeah. So it's a real psychological disorder. Yeah.

At least 50,000 people in the past 150 years. So the Elizabeth Bathory thing is an interesting one because the story is that Elizabeth Bathory was this woman and she was beautiful when she was younger. But as she started growing older, she started murdering young maidens and bathing in their blood. And she was this evil, psychotic serial killer. That'd be a good movie. That's a good story, but there's also a counter story to that, that what they were trying to do was accuse her of this so they could take her land, because she was in control of this very coveted kingdom, And they essentially put her in house arrest

because she was a royal, even though she was a serial killer, supposedly. Yeah. But there seems to be some possibility that there might be fuckery. See if you can find that. Damn. See if you can find that.

I just read that recently because we talked about that on the podcast. Then somebody, I forget who it was, brought it up to me like, that might not that might not not have been what actually troll farm her brutality has been questioned by historians here it is several historians have argued that far from being a cruel and barbaric killer bathory was in fact merely a victim of a conspiracy the hungarian professor try that one laszzlo Nagy claimed the accusations and proceedings against Bathory were politically

motivated due to her extensive wealth and ownership of large lands in Hungary. It is possible that Bathory's wealth and power made her a perceived threat to the leaders of Hungary, whose political landscape was overrun with major rivalries at the time. Bathory appeared to have supported her nephew, Gabor Bathory, ruler of Transylvania and rival to Hungary. It was not uncommon to accuse a wealthy widow or murder or murder witchcraft. I think they might say of murder, witchcraft or sexual misconduct to seize their lands.

That makes sense. That is crazy. So the official story was that she was a serial killer and she was doing that to try to stay young. Uh-huh. But if you wanted to lock somebody up, that would be the way to do it. Oh, yeah.

So she's a fucking serial killer. Highest number of victims was 650. Oh, my God. Jesus. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Bathory is the most prolific female murderer and the most prolific murderer of the Western world. This is despite the precise number of her victims remaining unknown and debated. Upon collecting testimony from 300 witnesses, Thurzo determined that Bathory had tortured and killed more than 600 victims.

The highest number cited was 650. more than 600 victims. The highest number cited was 650. However, this number came from a claim by a servant girl that Bathory's court official had seen the figure in one of her private books. The book never came to light. Bathory's victims were said to have been hidden a variety of places, but the most common method was to have the body secretly buried in the church graveyards at night. common method was to have the body secretly buried in the church graveyards at night. So this was a servant girl that claimed that she saw a book

that said that she had killed 600 people. That's a lot. Yeah, she's like writing down in their blood. 411. Imagine being such a psycho that you've documented all the people that you killed and bathe in their blood.

Dexter. Imagine how many people have done it. He didn't bathe in the blood, but he kept a little sample of all of them. Imagine how many people have done it we don't know about. I think they all keep little trinkets. Oh, definitely. Yeah. Definitely.

Has there been a serial killer for a while? There's a lot of them active right now in the country. Really? Yeah, there's always active serial killers. How do you just never hear about it? Some of them try it for a little while and they stop. Try it for a little while? Yeah, for real.

Like it's tobacco. But they could. They could just try it for a while if they get away with it. It's not anal, dog. You can't dabble in murder. There's a lot of broken people out there that I think right now probably dabble in murder. That's terrifying. It is terrifying. And it's probably in other

parts of the world even more common. But you know what? That's actually, it's a weird association I have with scary movies. Murderer scary movies never scare me because I know it happens in the world every day. Ghosts, demon, monster stuff. That's what scares me. Because it's up to your day. Interesting. Ghosts, demons, monsters, stuff. That's what scares me.

Ghosts? Because it's up to your imagination. Demons, monsters. Yeah. Yeah, those are the scariest, I guess. Well, the scariest are aliens. Because it's, yeah,

Fear of the Unknown. Alien 1 movie. Oh, my God. Alien 1 was like, that to me is the scariest, scary movie ever. That movie was terrifying. Is it Close Encounters

of the Fourth Kind that takes place in Alaska? Where they combine the actual footage of the woman's real therapy sessions and stuff? I don't know. Jamie, you know what I'm talking about? Close Encounters of the Fourth Kind? It's third or fourth kind. Which one's the original movie?

Third kind. So this one's fourth kind. I almost heard. Probably wrong. I've never heard of it. It's a really good movie. There's a woman up in, I want say I want to say Juno or no No, no, what's the gnome gnome?

Alaska and back in the day she was She became famous because she claimed aliens were basically like showing up in abducting her and stuff right and eventually Her kid got abducted by aliens or so that's the case and they accused her of like Killing the kid or whatever it may be. Obviously nobody believes that this woman's son was abducted, or daughter was abducted by aliens. So it's not currently available in our country?

What? It's in Canada. I think it's showing up weird. You can only get it in Canada? I don't know. What? That's strange. Interesting.

But they have, so it's a movie about this case, but they splice in real footage of her therapy session that she had to go to, that she was going to while she was being abducted each night. And they do this, I don't really know how to describe it, this deep meditative state that makes you recall your dreams. And she's describing all the things that were happening to her, these aliens. And she starts screaming. She starts levitating up from the couch a little bit. dreams and she's like describing all the things that were happening to her these aliens and she starts screaming she starts like levitating up from the couch a little bit like it's like it's creepy as shit it's a really good movie it's my favorite abduction movie i've ever seen and obviously nobody believes her she runs into the one person oh yeah like the like that old footage is like the real footage. Wow. So here's my issue with the alien abduction thing. Other than there's not like any real solid evidence that you could point to that's very convincing.

It always happens at night. And it always happens during periods where people sleep. And when you're sleeping, I'm not saying always. Okay, I'm sure there's some stories out there. I'm sorry. But most of the stories I've ever heard are people in their bed. They can't move. Aliens abduct them.

Paralysis. They're in a car. The car stops. They wake up. Aliens abducted them. When you go to sleep and you dream, there are psychedelic chemicals that your brain makes. And we don't know how much they're making. We don't know what effect that's having on your dreams.

We don't know what is going on. What is going on with dreams? What is going on with vivid dreams? What is going on with dreams that are, they're indiscernible from real life. And sometimes in a strange way, like, what is that?

Is that a psychedelic state your brain goes into every night yeah and if chemicals vary in human beings serotonin varies dopamine varies everything varies testosterone varies estrogen varies it varies wouldn't you just assume those psychedelic chemicals would vary and we wouldn't you just assume that sometimes maybe even people are in very agitated, anxiety-ridden states, high cortisol levels, perhaps maybe those chemicals are coming out in an abundance too. Now, if you're lying in bed and you're having an insanely vivid and terrifying interaction with aliens every night. Because your brain is just dumping psychedelics into you. And this is your big fear. So you're going to get abducted by aliens again. And then there they are again, leaning over your bed and reaching for you.

Constant paranoia. And then here's the the mind of all mind maybe psychedelics are a gateway to some other reality some other dimension that's accessible by these creatures i like this and that when you are getting abducted, you really are getting abducted. Like whatever your being is or your spirit or whatever is you is getting, you're interacting with these things. And it feels real because it is real. And because we're thinking about the ability to come in contact with other life forms as being a physical thing. to come in contact with other life forms as being a physical thing. It might be that there's a chemical gateway in your mind that when breached, you enter into a dimension

where physical bodies don't exist anymore and everything moves in this constant soup of geometric patterns and that whatever your consciousness is, whatever your soul is, is decoupled from the body and thrown into this realm. I imagine that's probably what happens at death. It probably is what happens at death. It's probably what it's all. I mean, that's probably why people think about it that way, that you're going to transcend

into heaven. You're going to go into this new place. It might be true. to heaven they're going to go into this new place it might be true it might be like a lot of the old depictions of like what happens when you uh enter into a psychedelic state i've heard this multiple times that it's like a well of souls that you're interacting with souls that are like completely unattached to a physical presence yeah and maybe that is maybe you're getting layers and layers of that depending upon how fucked up you are where you're sleeping and maybe some of those layers are boom aliens are in the room with you back just aliens in the room with you and maybe maybe they can do that. Maybe they can visit you while you're in those states.

Maybe that's what's happening too. I mean, we're just assuming. Like, before anybody invented a cell phone camera, like, if you tried to show that to someone from 1700, they'd be like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, what is this? Yeah. The idea of transforming war or,

or, or rather, uh, traveling through another dimension, even in a nonphysical sense, even in like a hologram sense and existing in a space that's completely different from the dimension that you exist in. Yeah.

Like that might be a thousand years from now. Normal shit, like a cell phone picture. Yeah. Yeah, it's just above our understanding for now. It could be. So it could be. That makes total sense to me, because it's like, what the fuck is Wi-Fi? You know what I mean?

You can't see it. It's not a physical thing you can see. Exactly. What the fuck is Wi-Fi? Yeah, how? What's happening with that? What do you mean a text goes from my phone to your phone? What the fuck does that mean? There's no wires. What are you talking about? Yeah, how? What do you mean a text goes from my phone to your phone? What the fuck does that mean?

There's no wires. What are you talking about? Yeah, so that makes total sense. Not just a text, but a video. You could send a video to your friend that lives in China.

And it's the exact same qualities you saw with your own eyes. They might not be able to get it. Yeah, maybe not China. Okay, Japan. If you made a TikTok. Okay, yeah.

You could send it to Japan. You could send it to Germany. You could send, if you have a friend in Germany, you could send that person a video and they will get it. You send them an iMessage and they will get it and they'll open up that video and they'll watch it. How? Like, through space. A non-physical transfer. On your phone.

Yeah, in real time. In real time. We live in the future. Yeah. We just don't live in the future where you can travel from one dimension to another. Yeah. And exist in this other dimension as long as this person is in a certain psychedelic state. Yeah. It's totally believable.

Yeah. And honestly, I hope there's some truth to that. It's scary to think about, but that gives a little bit of comfort to have just some kind of answer. I think the worst thing that would happen if you died is if you stay totally conscious. Imagine your body. You leave your body. You have no more

control. You just exist in the woods. Yeah, you still have a consciousness, but when people close your eyes, you're just in darkness for the rest of eternity. But, okay, hear me out. Super high conversation. Now, you're conscious in all black, right? But because you have power over your consciousness, you can create. So what do you do?

You create some kind of reality. Now, you're God of your own consciousness, and you create beings within that. You get so kooky that you make your own reality. Now you're God of your own consciousness and you create beings within that. You get so kooky that you make your own reality. Yeah, because what else is there to do besides create something in your consciousness? You can't move. You have no life anymore. It's just torture.

Yeah, that would be the most terrifying thing. You can't interact. Yeah. Imagine what if God's that? Nobody knows you're there. What if God is exactly that? I think God is the whole universe. Has to be.

That's what I think. I think this idea that God made the universe, I think God is the universe. I think that makes more sense. That this whole thing is just whoa. The whole thing is just this. Infinite. Infinite creation machine that creates galaxies, solar systems, stars. To everything, to microorganisms.

Yeah, that it's all by this strange mathematical process that exists where everything gets more and more complex. Everything from the beginning to now, and then the humans and whatever is past humans, they're just constantly making things more complicated and more advanced. Even like the way planets form. And life grows on them. And then that life figures out gunpowder. Yeah, exactly.

All that stuff is wild. It's wild because it seems to be like it all is moving in this very specific way. Like even in evolution, animals don't make it this is like your design sucks we got a new design now this one's better yeah like you guys ground nest uh there's cats around here this isn't gonna work out up in the trees yeah it's so it's it's it's a it's kind of weird to think that well well, here's one of the weird ones, right? Like people don't ever want to believe in anything other than scientific facts, right? And when you're examining the universe, we base it on the information that we can currently get from the web telescope and from space exploration and all the stuff that we've done. So we have this understanding of, of the universe,

but it all relies on a miracle. It really does. Yeah. Cause it relies on this fucking one moment where for some reason, something smaller than the head of a pin became everything you see in the sky. Yeah. But it's all based on odds. But it's almost like

to throw in your face. Like, the more you figure out about everything, the more you figure out everything about the vastness of the universe, black holes, and what is inside of them.

Like, is there something in there? Is that a portal to another universe? It has to be. It might be. I think that's the only thing it can be to me. But the more you think about the complexity of all it and that it all emerged from this teeny tiny little.

And what was before that teeny tiny little thing? What was the teeny tiny thing? What was that form of this universe? And where was it? It's almost like. If it wasn't in space. If it itself is space, where And where was it? It's almost like... If it wasn't in space, if it itself is space, where the fuck was it?

It's almost like as intelligent as people get, as they get more and more advanced, more and more knowledge, they have to kind of always admit they don't know shit. Because there's no way

you know what happened. You can't know. It doesn't make any sense. No one has ever come up with any fucking reasoning that makes any sense why this one thing would be smaller than the head of a pin and then become this infinite expansion that we see in front of us. Yeah, what happened? There's theories. There's some brilliant theories.

There's theories that it's a never-ending process of constant expansion and compression, which is really terrifying. It continues to expand? What's really terrifying is that the whole universe is eventually going to go back to that fucking pit. No, it's not. Why would that happen? I don't know. No. What made it in the first place?

We're too stupid to be talking about the universe. I know. But is it... I mean, I know that that is a theory. There's also a theory that different universes collide with each other and that they're like membranes And they collide with each other and that could be what's creating big bangs That would make the most amount of sense for a reaction of that size We just look at it like numbers Oh 13 trillion and we had Brian Keating on

We just look at it like numbers. Oh, 13 trillion. And we had Brian Keating on. He was explaining that these people that are saying that the universe is not 13.7 billion, that it might be 26 billion. He said that's really based on the development of these galaxies that exist. It's not definitive proof the universe is that old. But even like 13 billion, what are you saying? I know there's science behind it. But, yeah, what?

What? Also, how do you fucking know, man? How do you calculate that? How are you saying? I know there's science behind it, but yeah, what? What? Also, how do you fucking know, man? How do you calculate that? How do you know? How can you know? Geniuses. It's amazing. It's amazing just to think of how much we do know and then how much we don't.

That's scary. It's so bananas. Is it wildly unprofessional if I have to pee so bad right now? No, we could rub this bitch up too. Okay, whatever. This was a lot of fun, man. Dude, this was so much fun. I really enjoyed it.

Thank you so much for having me on, man. Give everybody your social media, where they can find you, website. Everything is just Matt Reif, M-A-T-T-R-I-F-E, website, mattreifofficial.com. We're going to add some tour dates at the end of this year for top of next year. So everything's sold out right now. I'm going to look right into the camera. He's doing a little plug. everything's sold out right now. I'm not sure you're looking right into the camera. I like your presenting. Just doing a little plug.

Just doing a little plug. So, yeah. It was fun talking to you, my friend. Likewise, man. This was a dream. We'll have some fun tonight. I would love that. Okay.

Thank you. All right. Bye, everybody. Bye, everybody. Bye, everybody. music music music music