The Joe Rogan Experience - #2042 - Joe List

Episode Date: September 30, 2023

Joe List is a stand-up comic and co-host, along with Mark Normand, of the "Tuesdays with Stories!" podcast. His latest special, "Enough for Everybody," is now available on YouTube.www.comedianjoelist.com

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night. All day. Wow, that's smooth, baby. Hey, what's up, Joe? What's happening, baby? We're back. The two Joes.

What's going on, Joseph? The Smokin' Joes. That's us, dude. Last night was fun as fuck. It's been fun having you. Two nights in a row. Yeah, thanks. Three nights. I was there for, uh, well, I don't know if I'm allowed to say. Yeah, I was there Monday. Yeah. But, um, yeah, it's been awesome.

I mean, obviously everyone tells you, everyone says it. It's one of those things. I wanted to be the guy that was like, I don't know, it's not so great. But, uh, no, it's fucking awesome. No, we did it right. What an atmosphere. Yeah. Great green room. I mean, it's the only no we did it right what an atmosphere yeah great green room i mean that's the only green room you can smoke cigars in that's not true there's some i was just in nashville at zany's and the manager was very nice and he was like you can smoke a

cigar if you want oh yeah zany's is great but i was like i don't think i'm doing smoke a cigar in the green room numbers you know what i mean i'm like you gotta add a couple shows before you're lighting a fucking stick in the green room I think I think when we were in England they told us

that if you smoke inside it's like a severe fine like something like really crazy so you can't even smoke in the green room in England if you do like shows

right yeah mostly I don't like smoking indoors cause it just you fucking stink and the second hand smoke can bother me.

But your green room is like really well ventilated. Yeah. You see these big vents in the ceiling in that place when you go in there. We set it up on purpose so that people could smoke in there. No, I like when you can just watch the smoke just go straight out. You're like, this is nice. Yeah, because so many of the comics smoke cigarettes and, you know, other substances. And, you know, you want to suck the air out.

You don't want everybody to be subject to it. It's a wet dream in there. Have you had anyone get too fucked up where you're like, dude, you got to. Because all I think about when I was drinking, if you just had whiskey and booze with like help yourself, there's got to be a few people that are going to be problematic at some point. Everybody's been keeping it together so far. Okay. We'll see.

We'll see as the crowd grows. I'm interested. It feels like the kind of thing I come back in a year, and there's a safe with all the booze in it, and they're like, yeah, fucking so-and-so came in and ruined everybody. Nah. I don't think there's that many of those super off-the-rail guys left. I think that's a good point. My wife and I talk about this a lot.

But I think maybe because we're older, though. I'm sure there's a bunch of comics in their 20s that really get after it yeah I bet that's true yeah we just probably don't know them I'm thinking like established comics like because there was like established comics when I was coming up there were like national headliners that you just knew were off the rails yeah Yeah, I actually think it's very difficult to sustain Boozing that hard and be successful most of it was coke was what I when when someone was like an off-the-rails guy like Completely out of control. It was booze, but it was a lot of coke right we over a coke guy. No, no me either

Yeah I was too afraid of snorting a thing. And then no one ever said good things about coke to me. Until later, I heard every once in a while. But mostly people were like, ah, don't do coke. It makes you crazy. Your heart's going to explode. People didn't sell cocaine to me.

Well, it just didn't seem like the people that I saw doing coke were going anywhere. It just seemed like it was tripping up their life pretty bad. Right, right. I was very fortunate that when I was in high school, my friend, his cousin was selling it. And his cousin got addicted to it. And I watched this guy go from being a normal guy to being this

person who just hung out in this attic apartment and lost all his weight. They just did coke and watched TV and sold coke. It's like you got bit by a vampire. Yeah. I'm always afraid my heart is going to explode even without sold coke. It's like you got bit by a vampire. Yeah. I'm always afraid my heart is going to explode even without doing coke. Like I should have like a,

my heart will raise and I'm just so paranoid about heart. Does, does heart shit ever fuck you up? Like mentally that fact that your heart beats every second or whatever for 80 years. And if it stops, that's the end of it. That's how it works. Jill this.

I know, but does that ever like trip you out a little bit i'm not i mean i don't want to sound like it's fucking crazy man but i'm like that's nuts it is nuts yeah and if it stops you're dead and if you get a transplant it's a motherfucker they're trying to do pig transplants now they did it on this one guy and uh one person i don't know if it was a guy or a gal or a non-binary folk like a fisher folk but they they did it and the person stayed alive for a short amount of time i think it was a couple weeks so they just jammed a pig heart in there it's a modified pig heart

somehow or another pig parts and human parts apparently are super similar in some way. I've fucked a few pigs. Hello, folks. Hey, you son of a gun. What does it say here? How long did the man with the pig heart live? He lived for 61 days. Hey, that's not bad. That's not bad.

Research has been working on the new pig-to-human transplantation technique for over 30 years. If successful, harvesting hearts from genetically modified pigs whose genes have been altered so they can be safely transplanted to humans may one day be a reality. Wow. I think on the way to that, though, I bet they're going to 3D print hearts. Yeah, I think so.

I think as scary as AI is, I think all our problems are over, dude. We're going to be making hearts and brains and all kinds of shit. We're going to be connected to the Matrix, eating steak, being an important person like Joey Pants. Yeah. We're going to be great. I'm going to have perfect eyesight and a strong jawline by the end of the year, I think. You're not going to stop there. You're going to look like He-Man.

I'm going to go buy a fucking big chest. You're going to go Superman. You're going to go the Hulk. Why wouldn't you? What, do you want to be a fucking human when you could be a superhero if you can genetically alter yourself To make yourself more like masculine and thick and bigger and stronger. Why would you stop at three? Wouldn't go to 26 right? I don't think I could be more masculine, but I do feel like I would like, yeah, some more girth and really. If that could be done genetically, though, where would you stop? That's the question.

Right. People would get ridiculous. It's like when people don't, I mean, I'm sure you've seen those Instagram videos of people with fake butts walking on the beach. Yes. They just went so far. It's like, what? This is great. You're going to die.

That stuff can't be good for you. What is that? Yeah, I see it all the time. They just went so far. It's like, what? This is great. You're going to die. That stuff can't be good for you. What is that? Yeah, I see it all the time. You just look imbalanced. It doesn't look good. It looks insane. It's an insane look. But my point is, if they can do that with genetics,

if it ever gets to a point where the mold of what we think of as the human physique has been completely thrown out the window because now we're going to alter it from its very core to be a completely different structure. It'll just change what a person looks like. People are going to be giants. They're going to be dragons. It's going to be fucking real life cosplay. Right.

Do you think anybody will be like, I'm sticking with this? I'm going long and thin. Oh, there's going to be a few people that pretend for a little while. Well, there's the same folks that say, I don't even have email. Fuck you. Right. You got email now, bitch. You know, like in 2001, you might not have had email, you know, but I bet you have it now.

Yeah. Well, you have to have it now, I feel like. Yeah, you kind of have to have it now. I enjoy email. That's my take. Well, it's certainly better than not having email. That's my take. Well, it's certainly better than not having email.

I mean, people are like, well, and the privacy, and they're hacking your email, and they're sending you these scams. And yep, yep, that's what comes with this new thing. Well, I just had a friend who works for some business that was getting, I don't know all the details, nor would I share them if I had them. But their company was getting sued or something, and then they just accessed his emails and now they have a hundred percent of his emails. So he was saying like, don't ever email a fucking joke. Like, Hey, I'm going to kill that guy or anything because they have it. Like you should do, we should do all phone communication. Maybe they're listening to the phones too. I don't know, but yeah, I'm sure they are. I think they didn't lock that down quick enough. And when Edward Snowden exposed the NSA's gigantic sweeping surveillance sort of thing, and it's all under the guise of stopping terrorism, which, by the way, you fucking never hear

about anymore. What happened to terrorism? We nailed it. Climate change took the spot of terrorism well we stopped it patriot act worked baby it must have we did we did it must have otherwise they'd be talking about it we done did you remember when after 9-11 there would be a threat level like our code yeah today's code is yellow it was like forest fires okay we're good yellow's good right you know i have to bring a bulletproof vest to Starbucks.

Yeah, it was scary as fuck. It was like they really got to us. But they nailed that terrorist attack. I mean, they knocked it out of the park. It was certainly one of the all-time great terrorist attacks in terms of publicity. In terms of how it affected the world. It's got to be number one, right? Yeah, but just a crazy thing

that an action like that changes your rights forever. Changes everybody's rights forever. But don't you think, someone was just debating this somewhere, doesn't it feel like COVID feels like it changed life more than 9-11? Like 9-11, it's now like shoes at the airport and you can't go to the gate.

But other than that, it doesn't really feel that different whereas covid does feel different where like cities have emptied out and people still wear masks and six feet it's just much more life feels more different after this than it did 9 11 in in my eyes. Well, because COVID got everyone to comply. COVID got everyone to do things that whoever was on television was telling you to do. Right. It became a different thing where there was an experimental medication and you were encouraged to take it.

And if you took it, you wanted other people to take it too. Right. There's a fucking thing that people do. When they do something, they want you to do it too. And especially if they can connect what they did with doing the right thing they want you to do it But sure people do that with everything they do that with yoga class. You don't think they do that with vaccines No, I think this all the time in New York where you see

people one person starts crossing the street while the light is green and literally the entire herd starts following them and then a car comes like fucking and then they have to jump back because they were just watching that one person yeah happens all the time people go and well it's also cell phone brain too right because people are constantly checking their oh we're walking now and they just will walk yeah yeah did you know i heard this recently that gum sales have gone down gum and candy because people Are looking at their phone in line at like CVS instead of just staring at you know They have the gum and candy underneath the register

Interesting yeah, that's what I I don't know if I read it or heard it, but like before you'd be staring going Oh, man, I could go for a Milky Way, but now instead you're looking at you know a pigeon that makes sense yeah so yeah that really makes sense of course yeah people just want that's that's the new distraction I wonder if it's the same thing of the supermarket when those stupid tabloids one of their selling less I would imagine so who's buying that now well they have tabloids built into the phone. Yeah. Also, the stories aren't outrageous enough. Right.

Compared to what's real online, it's mostly fluff pieces, because you have to get celebrities to agree to do them, like us and people and all those. Right. I'm blown away by it. We were talking about this before you got here. I'm grateful. I'm not into this dark web my algorithm is all like baseball

and Martin Scorsese I didn't like Duncan Trussell last night was talking about some crazy shit he sees on the internet like children shooting each other and then I was on your mom's house and they were like showing videos of dicks being peeled back and inserting cushions into dicks cushions or

I don't know something something where they put, do you know what it is? They had some guy had a big pad under his hand. They're putting, I don't even know what it is. Like, do you know what I'm talking about, Jamie? A pad under his hand? Yeah, I don't know the terminology. Like people put like horns on their dick.

It's some kind of like product that makes bumps in you. Yeah body It's what is body modification. Yeah, one guy had like it looked like a spider on his palm or whatever the fuck This is oh, yeah, they do they give themselves horns and shit. Yeah. Yeah bumps all over their head I don't know what made me think of that. Oh just that those videos exist. I wasn't getting those I feel so naive I'm like, did you see this Tommy Lasorda saying motherfucker video? And other people are looking at dicks being altered. Yeah, if you can get in the wrong algorithm on Instagram, it can be quite disturbing. And I'm definitely in the wrong algorithm.

We got to get you back. I don't think I can get back. I think they have me now. Because if they send it my way, I'm going to look at it. Because it's all, there's so many murder videos well i feel like i just was saying this recently like it took me a long time to really get got by the algorithm like i i was kind of like i don't know what that is but they finally figured me out and it's like behind the scenes baseball sports shit people talking shit in the locker room that and like and and filmmakers

breaking down phil you know kubrick or whatever you know john boy you know that guy on youtube no i don't oh he's awesome yeah it's a great hole to go down we were talking about it before he lip reads all these baseball fights and argument you know when the umpire manager fighting each other he's like a professional lip reader and he's hilarious. And there's a million video. You got to see it. J-O-M boy. You'll love it. Get in that algorithm

because he's awesome. But it's fucking hilarious. It's like my childhood prayers have been answered. You always watch the manager umpire scream and you're like, what the fuck are they saying?

Right. And they probably swear horrible shit at each other. Oh, it's all cocksucker and motherfuckers. It's cocksucker and cocksucking this. And horse shit

is the other big one. A lot of horse shit and cocksucker. And I've been It's cocksucker and cocksucking this. And horse shit is the other big one. A lot of horse shit and cocksucker. And I've been trying to get those in my life more. Bring them back. Cocksucker's fun. Cocksucker's fun. Joey Diaz always uses a term of affection. What's up, cocksucker?

Like, I hate cocksucker. Yeah, what's up, cocksucker? Oh, that's sweet. And when he said it, it was fun. Well, you are bringing joy if you're sucking cock. You are, but he's not saying it in that way. There's other ways. Words have different meanings.

Like, if you catch someone stealing your tire, what's up, cocksucker? Right. It's a different one. Sure. But if Joey Diaz calls you out, what's up, cocksucker? You're like, what's up, Joey? Yeah, it's very sweet. It's all context. It's a different, yeah. It's also the word, you know, the word can be a term of affection. I'm not really a call a

guy stealing my tire, a cocksucker kind of guy. I'm a big 911. I'd be like, 911, this guy. You just, you know, get your tire stolen. Yeah. You're going to wait for hours. Well, I'd call the police and, you know, see what happens. Yeah. I mean, it depends on what kind of guy it is. Right. I might be able to fuck him up. What if it's Duncan?

Trussell? Yeah. What, does he have a tire iron? That's a good point. Because that's a weapon. That's a good point. Yeah. Well, where is the tire iron positioned?

Because if the tire iron is positioned on the actual lug nut itself, you're at an advantage. Right. I could probably take his back, as they say. Yeah, you're going to smash him before he gets to that thing. Now, let me ask you this. If you see a guy, he's crouched down, he's fucking with your car, and you're behind him, are you going blunt force to the head

or are you going to take his back and choke him out? Depends on how big the guy is. Depends on the situation you get the you hit someone with shoes on it's really tricky legally hit someone with shoes on yeah what do you mean them or you you hit them with your shoes it's kind of a weapon really yeah i think they look at it differently i think even if like you had like these things on like hokers like running sneakers i think it's still a weapon which is ridiculous because it's actually way softer than if I hit you with my bones. So you're going to take your shoes off to kick a guy?

No, no, but I'm saying whether I would hit him while they're doing that, I'd probably say something first and see how they react, but be ready to hit him. Because it feels like, though, if you fucking punch a guy or kick a guy as hard as you can he might have a strong jaw and he god but i feel like choking a person yeah choking works most of the time unless the guy knows how to fight yeah what if he has really good defense and you realize that immediately and you forgot to put the second hook in because you were trying to stand up right and then all of a sudden he's spun towards you and you're like oh my god he's trained and he gets an underhook and then he trips you. Now he's on top and you're in fucking half guard on the concrete and he's headbutting

you. And he's got a tire iron. That was an old joke I tried doing about my level of fighting is if the person's cooperating, I can beat them. Here it is. Any object made or adapted for the purposes of inflicting death or serious physical injury can be considered a deadly weapon. For example, a shoe or a shod foot used for kicking may be considered a dangerous weapon.

That's dangerous or deadly, though, right? Because someone can... We saw... What was that movie? Where... What was the curb stomp movie? Oh. American History X.

That's right, American History X. Right? Yeah. That was like two weapons. The curb was a weapon, too, and then there was the boot. That was unsettling. What is a shod foot, for those of us unfamiliar? I had to check.

It is a shoe or a foot with a shoe on it. So what about flip-flops? What if you kick someone and you're wearing flip-flops? Is that a shod foot? I don't know. Because you're kind of at a disadvantage with flip-flops on. We're going to have to go to the judges on that one. Or a slipper.

I think it might be anything on your foot, because it goes back into history of talking about people that were almost always barefoot. So that would be an unshod foot. Yeah. I don't know what that even means. I feel like it should be shooed fit. I feel like that was a shooed foot.

I feel like that was a typo somewhere and they just went with it. Shod? Shod foot. Is that a word? Shod? Yeah. It means with a shoe? It means there's a shoe on your foot.

Yeah. I mean, that should be shooed. I mean, this is easy. This is obvious. Don't you think? It should be shooed. Why is it shod? Do you know the

mound to home plate is 60 feet six inches because it was a they did it with pencil and the second one it was supposed to be 60 feet even but the six the zero looked like a six that's why it's remained 60 feet six inches really yeah it was like a not a typo a fucking a righto whatever whatever you call it right i feel like that wasod. I feel like they just left the E off. Shoed. I think it's more like a proper English thou shalt not thing. That's gay. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Shod. Your feet are shod. Yeah, I get it. I like it. You know what I'm saying? I'm going to say shod. I think it's a proper thing.

Is it? Yeah, shod is Middle English. See? Meaning put shoes on or provide with a shoe. Yeah, that stinks. Stupid. Shod. Shod sucks.

What's weird that we have English words in England that are spelled different than the way they're spelled in America. Yeah, there's still, you see, like, there's old O-L-D-E, town with an E, and there's... Tires with a Y. Oh, I don't know that one. Color with a U. Yes. Color. Flavor.

There's a few of those, yeah. O-U. But it's like the same language. Like, why are you guys fucking with the different words? Yeah, I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. And what are you doing on the left side of the road, bitch? Yeah. We invented the car. Get the fuck over on the different words. Yeah, I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. And what are you doing on the left side of the road, bitch? Yeah.

We invented the car. Get the fuck over on the other side. I heard it was from jousting. Is that something? Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does, supposedly. Have you ever driven out there?

I have not. I've done it a few times. It's a thrill. I would imagine it would be a little bit nerve-wracking to be on the wrong side of the road. It is. I got great advice

is that the driver's always in the middle of the road. That's really helpful. It's like you're closer to the middle than the other end, which is the same here and there. You know what I mean? No. Like you're on the right side of the car, but the left side of the road in England. So if you look out the window, the middle of the road is right there the line is next to you and the reverse here in

America you're on the left side of the car but the right side of the road so you look out the window yeah so that's helpful but I've only ever done it with one other like my wife in the car because you need a second person to be like don't forget driving alone I feel like I could fuck it up yeah you could fall back into the pattern and also

and see yourself in the oncoming headlights. Yeah. I think that's what happened to Matthew Broderick. Yeah. I don't know what happened, but it's also like just the shifting and everything. If you're operating a manual, shifting now with your left hand instead of your right,

that would be bizarre. No, I couldn't do that. I have a friend who's like a big driver. He said that was the one thing he couldn't do because it was just too many things yeah because is the clutch still on the left hand side it is so it's clutch brake accelerator all in the same order but now you're doing this and then which side do you do it do you start far left or you just start far right and move that way you You don't do that, do you? That's what's weird, right?

Yeah. If you're operating a manual transmission and you're in the English side, where's first gear? Is first gear up and to the left? That is a great question. No, it's probably closer to you, up and to the right. Yeah, like that? Yeah. Da, da, da, da.

Can I see that? I think it's the same. I'm looking. Yeah, like that? Yeah. Da, da, da, da. Can I see that? I think it's the same. I'm looking. Yeah, that's fucked up. Yeah, I would imagine the thing they would have to do, that would be really hard to do, I think, for transmissions. One of the hardest parts for me was I kept putting the windshield wipers on with the blinker because you're used to the blinker being over here.

So every single fucking time I would turn the windshield wipers on. Yeah. I love a good windshield wiper stock That's one thing that bums me out about my Tesla. What's a stock? A little stalk a little thing that does the windshield wipers and a little thing you know little thing that sticks out of the steering Wheel little thing that does the blinkers. Oh, I'm thinking of the windshield wiper itself the little does the blinkers You don't have that? No everything's a button everything. There's buttons on the steering wheel to change lanes. There's buttons for a horn.

No, it's fun to have the physical. Yeah, I'm going left. I'm going right. You know, like, come on. Sometimes I reach through and grab it over here. You got options. I like going like this. I like hitting that.

It feels like you're doing like an alt comic. It's normal. Yeah. But isn't it a normal feeling to like hit the blinkers and turn right? Of course, it's satisfying. You do it. You do that thing before you turn. You don't press a button on your steering wheel.

It feels, it feels every time like, don't fuck this up. I've had this car for two years. And every time I press, sometimes I'll press the left button when I meant to press the right button. I'm like, fuck. I would love if you did exactly this on stage and the crowd's like, what? What the fuck is wrong with you? Just a total crickets.

Like a really bad Seinfeld bit. Like a copy of a Seinfeld bit. Great set last night, by the way. I went up to the balcony and watched it. Very funny. Thank you. I didn't know you know that, but it was great. Thank you.

It was a fun night. Yeah, it was awesome. It's so fun to run back and forth to. Very funny. Thank you. I didn't know you know that, but it was great. Thank you. It was a fun night. Yeah, it was awesome. It's so fun to run back and forth to the two rooms, and they're such different kinds of rooms. Oh, yeah.

That little room is magic. They're both great. And you've become like a comedy pilgrimage. I ran into, first of all, I felt like a fucking celebrity out

in Austin from those shows. I bumped into two guys from Calgary that came just to see the room. Then I sat next to another guy at a restaurant that from Calgary that came just to see the room. Then I sat next to another guy at a restaurant

that was from Montreal who came just to see the room. And then I met another guy who was from England just fucking walking around. I was fucking around with the crowd last night and there's people

from Australia. There are people from all over the place. Yeah, it's a destination. Yeah. Comedy pilgrimages. People, they just want to see the room. It's fun. I hope more people do things like this other places

Did you ever go on any like when you before you started like I gotta go see or when you started I gotta go see Fucking whoever you're on a road trip to go see a comic like I'll make a comedy. Yeah Yeah a couple of times I mean in the early days i went to see a bunch of comics but kinnison i went to see kinnison a couple times yeah yeah it was like 80 89 88 89 and the problem is it was like kinnison had already sort of deteriorated so it was kind of a bummer it's like we were talking about you can't go that hard and keep being productive it feels like yeah it

was pretty evident that it was not the same kind of insight that you had from his earlier work his earlier work wasn't just wild it was wild and like that's a really good point. Yeah. Yeah, it was wild and like wow This is this is like great writing. This is like Interesting subject matter and you got this wild dude and then the stuff about marriage was so funny It was so like obviously the guy had been in fucking terrible agony and heartbreak It was so obvious that people had broken his heart right you know and then you bought into it hook line and sinker but from that special from so he has his first thing which is louder than hell which is a cassette and it's really fucking good it's hard to get i got an

album of it okay um i think you can get it some places but but I think, I don't know, there was some controversy with it. There's a lot of very homophobic stuff in there. But then it goes from that to the HBO special. And I think that Have You Seen Me Lately, it's called. And the HBO special is fucking amazing. I mean, it's amazing. It's just so good. There's so many good bits in it. And then the one after it's amazing. It's just so good. There's so many good bits in it.

And then the one after that's not. It's just flat. It just feels fake. It feels like he's a guy trying to imitate Sam Kinison. Yeah, I feel like that, I mean, I would never name names, but I feel like that happens sometimes with comics where they have great material and a very unique way of doing it, and then they kind of start to

lose the material and just have that unique way and that the marriage of the two is what made it great I think it's hard to write when you're partying all the time absolutely go into events and you're you're the guy in the Bon Jovi video and you're this and you're that and you're you know I mean his whole life he was this like weirdo and this preacher and then he gets in the comedy and becomes one of the greatest of all time and then all of a sudden he's a fucking superstar in the rock and roll days of like poison and guns and roses and like whoa and he's the rock and roll comic right Right. You know? So he's like singing on stage now.

He like brings a guitar on stage. Did you ever see some of that? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know that song Wild Thing? Yeah, vaguely. I never was a huge Kinison guy. I wasn't big into the screaming. I mean, I always find that comedy doesn't hold up great.

Most comedy, which is what makes comedy great to me. So I think by the time I saw it, I was like a kid and just like didn't quite understand it and then later I was like I don't know hmm I mean I respect Kenison obviously he just wasn't one of my guys for me it was like catching it in the actual context of the time of 1980 whatever it was when he when he popped right I want to say it was 86 was it 86 yeah so that's like right around the time when i had heard about cecil he's partied with all these rock stars he made music videos but it just it became a different thing man you know with the it was all the look and the it was all like the you know being seen at the right

places with the right people and oh sam's here sam's here right and he's doing line but before that when he was coming up it was developing material like it's coming up with like really good unique bits that would make you this superstar and then once we got a superstar was like poison for that right. Right. That's what's so hard about getting so big is that people are like, yeah, the guy. And so it's so hard to balance, I imagine. I'm not in that position. But, I mean, you're pulling it off. It's, I mean, you just can't buy into the bullshit.

Right. You can't be fucking partying with bon jovi and rock and roll every night it's like you're not gonna get anything done yeah you need an amount of humility it also feels like that feels so removed from what makes stand-up great as a guy standing there telling jokes it's like now you have a guitar and a gang and women and drums and you're like well that's not really like look at chapelle he's doing it the right way that guy just gets on a plane and shows up in a studio in a city somewhere and starts doing guest bots just starts going up goes up at the end of shows practices fucks around right and then next next night he'll fly to this place or that place yeah goes places and fucks around writing always

working on new bits yeah always turning over No, you got to do it. Now, do you still listen to sets? Do you record sets? Yeah, I record all of them. Yeah. Yeah. I owe myself a few listens, though. I've been slacking off.

Especially the bottom of the barrel listens. Those are the ones you really got to listen to. Yeah, that's a really fun show. I'm like, it makes me uncomfortable, which is why it's fun to do. If the people don't know i guess you the audience writes down shit and you just pull them out yeah you have a barrel and the audience writes down suggestions for for topics and then you just reach in the barrel pull it out and start riffing yeah it's fun it's fun it was super fun yeah that's not um i don't do a lot of that so it was fun to get in

that spot and um, that was great. That room fucking rules, the smaller room. Yeah, that's an honest little room. They were fucked up last night, the early show. Super intimate. It's a super intimate room. Yeah, it was great. It felt like a 1 a.m. spot last night.

The late show? No, it was the early one. Oh, really? They were fucked up on the early show? They were jacked up. Yeah, it was one of those ones where like you say something and then they kind of break into conversation a little bit and i'm like are you all right what are you guys and they're like oh no we're good like they're i'm in the way um but they were fucking great and it was really

fun getting stuff out of them because a room that small if people are kind of chatting or chuckling you can deal with them more it's like when you're in a massive room and somebody is yelling or talking from the back, you can't really deal with it. Yeah. If you're in a theater and that's happening, it's a real problem. Exactly. But in a comedy club, you can pause and go, what are we doing? Yeah, yeah. And have like a real dialogue with them.

But you don't want to. That's the thing. It's like we've got to train people to just not talk out loud. Just like you don't do in the movie theater, don't do it at a comedy and don't talk to the comedians either don't just talk at them well do you do you think i mean what do you think about all these crowd work clips don't you think we're breeding this i feel like it's a very bad situation it's not a bad situation because it's just how they do it some people do it that way but it makes the audience want more of that i was talking my niece has just went to college and she has a roommate who's like 18 years old she's like essentially a high school kid and

she knows she was like what do you think of crowd work and i'm like it's so crazy that like teenage kids are like oh crowd work like well because those are the clips you could put online because it doesn't burn your material right because it's a unique moment right but sometimes i feel like this comic's going up there just trying to get those moments. They definitely are. And it's annoying. And then the audience thinks like, oh, I'll be part of this. Well, there's comics that are tricky, too.

You go see their actual act. You know, the thing about crowd work is it's always funnier when you're there. Of course. But it's always funnier because everyone knows it's happening live and you don't know what's going to happen and neither does a comedian. They know it's completely improvised. Well, that's why it works. Because obviously comedy is about getting everybody to be like, oh, yeah.

And if they're seeing it live, it just happens. Good point. But DePaulo used to always say that. I worked with Nick for years and he'd be like, oh, you're funny off the cuff? Yeah, that's called a fucking being funny. That's easy. Write some material, you fuck.'re funny off the cuff? Yeah, that's called a fucking being funny. That's easy. Write some material, you fuck. Yeah, if you can do both, that's great.

Right. But some people only do one or the other. Right. Yeah. But there gets to be, yeah, there's tricks to it, obviously. You definitely don't want to encourage people to interrupt people who don't do crowd work, though. That's where it becomes a problem when people are drunk and they think I'm gonna get on video right you know that kind of shit does happen now how do you feel about MCS in New York which is the

only city that does this where the MC goes up and just asks everybody where they're from and does almost exclusively crowd work they never did that in Boston when I was starting or and they didn't do it here in Austin really why do they do that in New York I don't know it's in austin really why do they do that in new york i don't know it's a new york like new york comics they think that's what the mc does i think part of it is to find out where everyone's from because there's so many tourists but most mcs in new york just do a lot of crowd work and i've heard people even be like i don't like hosting because i'm not i don't go do crowd work and i'm like well you don't have to just fucking go does anybody not

do crowd work does anybody just go up and say hey what's up everybody how you doing let me tell you about my day i don't think so really when i hosted this years ago when arty fuqua got in the accident they needed hosts at the cellar so i volunteered and i hosted for like six weeks and i felt like i was the only one that just went straight into material, which I think is better because I find the audience, if they're, you know, when they're, they're settling in and ordering and getting their drinks and whatever, figuring out who's sitting where, if you look up and the comic is talking to somebody, they're going, okay, it hasn't really started yet. He's talking to that lady. But if you look up in the middle of a bit, you're like, shh, fucking quiet. The show started. the middle of a bit you're like fucking quiet the show started that's how i always felt yeah um it the problem with someone talking to the audience is it does kind of encourage the

audience to talk to some of the future comedians if they have a point that the person disagrees with or if they're getting to a point and you cut them off because you could say something you know sometimes like guys will mislead you with a bit and Of course. And you're like, what is he saying? Oh, ha, ha, ha. But some people jump in in the middle of it. Right. And fuck it up. Exactly.

And they think they can because someone's been talking to them in the audience. Exactly, yes. And they're like, oh, this is a dialogue. I got it. Perfect. Or it gives them an opportunity to be outraged. And now this is kind of encouraged to give feedback. It's encouraged to talk.

Right. I also think that the audience needs to hear the rhythm of a few jokes. But to me, it's like if you do crowd work for five minutes and then do 10 minutes of jokes. But sometimes you have an emcee where you're like, if you're going first, you're like, I'm now the first one telling a joke, which is no good. I think the audience needs to hear like, oh, okay, some bits. Yeah, I think that definitely would set everybody else up for the rest of the night. And that's really what the MC should be doing. But I remember Attell would get annoyed because Attell always wants to know where everyone's from.

So he would ask me like, where are they from? And I was like, I don't know. And you could see that he was like, what? And there's nothing worse than upsetting Attell. That's so's so i know it's so weird i know the new york has this one thing where everybody goes and asks the fucking audience member where they're from it's very strange and they're like what do you i've never seen a comic one time it made me laugh so hard the audience member made me laugh so hard because the person was like what do you what are you doing they're like, I'm at a show. What do you mean, what am I doing?

They're like, I'm on a date. I don't get it. I just never, to me, it's like we're supposed to be doing a show. I don't care what the audience is from or what they're doing. I always felt like that style came out of the fact that the comedy clubs in New York when I was coming up, they all very intimate they're very small yeah like Boston comedy was very small Catch a Rising Star was small the cellar small and because you're like right on top of people and they're packed in and there's not that many of them I felt like it's more intimate the stage is smaller and I think it fun out it's sort of led

comedians to want to kind of like personalize everything. Yeah, yeah. Which I feel in this small room at your club. What's it called? Little Boy. Little Boy, yeah. Like I do instinctively start being like, you ever had this? Because it does feel like you're at a hang.

Yeah, you're hanging. Right. Which is really nice. Like if you're doing material. Because it's just like you're real intimate in that room. That movie, you're on top of those people. Yeah, I feel like you could shoot a special in there, or maybe someone already had.

I think somebody shot one in the big room. David Lucas just shot a special in that little room. Yeah. Yeah. That's a fucking killer run. And Brian, did he shoot something at your room? Mm-hmm. He shot something in the big room.

Brian Simpson blew me away last night. Oh, he's hilarious. By the way, I always knew he was funny, but I, like, it's so rare you get to sit and watch comedy and I sat in the balcony watch and I was like this guy's Like next level the balconies the shit isn't it it's unbelievable It's awesome when we first were walking around the building when it was its bare bones And we're standing up there in the balcony one of the first things we're thinking you know badass It's gonna be to be just sitting up here chilling and like watching Chappelle go on stage. And so when it actually happened, when we were there, the week had opened and Dave came

by and we're watching him. I'm standing on the balcony. I'm like, dude, I looked at Tony Hinchcliffe and I go, this is like exactly what we imagined. It was the exact thing that we imagined that's an unbelievable feeling i don't want to sound gay but we're very lucky people that we've lived a life where it's like i imagined this and then did it had it happen it's oh yeah super super lucky but also like that's a good thing like when i was thinking about doing it i didn't want to do it i'm like this is too much work i don't want to be involved in this.

I always told comedians, be really nice to club owners because we need them and you don't want to be them. Right. We need them. We need someone to own the club. We need a place to go. We need, who would want to deal with some of the maniacs that we knew?

Yeah, this is it. Oh, wow. That's the little boy. No, that's the big room. That's literally the balcony. Wow, that's killer. Yeah. So, that's the big room. That's literally the balcony, yeah. Wow, that's killer. Yeah, so that's before the concrete had been poured. Those guys are standing on foam.

So there's a foundation under that, and then they'd put these massive blocks of dense foam, and then on top of the foam, then they lay more of that rebar and then pour concrete. It's crazy what they did. Because it was basically set up like a movie theater, like tiered, you know, like stadium type seating. And we lifted the floor up and made it flat. So how did it work?

Did you like, I feel like I'm interviewing you now, but I mean, how did you just explain the vision to whatever you call it? I have an amazing architect. Richard's an amazing architect. And one of the things about Richard is he's also a musician. He's an artist. He has an eye for things. He sees things. And he totally got the concept of it.

And so when we had looked at another building, I told you about the place that was owned by a cult. So we had that place, and then that one fell apart. And then when that fell apart, it was really hard to find another spot. And this place wasn't for sale. They only wanted to lease it. And I was like, I'm not going to do that. I need to be able to own it. It doesn't make any sense.

And so fortunately, they changed their their mind and they sold it to me and when they sold and one of the things they liked was that you know six street a lot they're making a lot of like apartment buildings and high rises and they loved the fact that i was just going to keep it a live entertainment venue yeah and because it's a 1927 theater you know stevie ray vaughn played there in the 80s. Yeah, I saw the post killer fucking bands now Did you were you drawing sketches or you just saying this is what I like? Richard did everything but Richard Weiss We we went over it. We had a structure right because there was a

Alamo Drafthouse had been there before and we also had We had a big advantage in that Richard had redesigned the Alamo Drafthouse. So he was the one who was in charge of that project. So he knew the whole bones of the building because they converted it from like, I think it was a rock and roll club previous to that. And then they turned it into the Alamo Drafthouse. And so they had to build a kitchen. They had to build these rooms. They had to, you know, set it up from the movies and do everything. So he knew exactly where everything was was and so we had two rooms in one building which i really like because i wanted a smaller more intimate room and a bigger room yeah and so when

we saw it we just had to address like okay how do we do this and we we had a bunch of different ways of looking at it we always agreed that the projection room would be the green room like that makes the most sense it's in the center of the two rooms and it gives you the option of just literally walking there and seeing one room or going this way to the balcony and seeing the other yeah so that was like that was a no-brainer and then we blew the walls out so it connects to the balcony and we set everything up and moved all the equipment out we had old projectors in there and shit. And then we built everything out. And then in the process of building everything out, I had Louie come and look at it.

And Louie had some amazing advice. He gave me some great advice about shrinking the size of the stage in the little room, lowering the ceiling even further. And the little room was like a low ceiling. He's like, can you get it lower? Yeah. I'm like, yeah, I think we can get it little room was like a low ceiling. He's like, can you get it lower? Yeah. I'm like, yeah, I think we can get it lower. Maybe like a foot or two lower. And so we did that.

And then in the main room, the same thing. He said, lower the ceiling. And so the ceiling drops. So you have the balcony. You can see how the ceiling drops when you look out the balcony. So you just see like the top of the stage. I always thought it would be a great idea, I mean, it would cost cost billions of dollars to have a comedy club that you could move the walls in depending on the crowd size you know how like there's like a curtain but you wish you could

just fucking physically move the wall to tighten it up because obviously comedy just works tighter yeah i mean that's not it's an impossibility this is my fantasy i mean maybe it's not an impossibility i don't think it's an impossibility. You'd just have to have walls that were on tracks, and you'd have the tracks built into some sort of an engine that moved them back and forth. But it'd probably be stupid. It would take up way too much room. How are they powered? Are they diesel generated, or are they electric?

No, manpower. Everyone gets behind. The audience pushes the wall in. Yeah, it would have to be that, because if it was some sort of a computer, it would malfunction Generated or the electric manpower everyone gets behind the audience Pushes the wall in yeah, it would have to be that because of it What it was some sort of a computer would malfunction and kill everyone it would just compress the entire audience like fucking Star Wars Yeah, exactly Star Wars imagine if you have a sold-out show and someone hits the hundred seat button People just stacked up on top of each other in the middle of the fucking room That's a great episode for like one of those, what do you call it? What's that fucking show?

Black Mirror. Black Mirror. I was thinking of Twilight Zone. But yeah, same shit. That's what I was wondering, though, if you could just explain to the architect what it looks like. Because this blew my mind a while ago. I was watching some springsteen behind the album thing i don't know if it was the river or darkness or whatever but i never knew

there's a scene where bruce is talking to clarence clemens and it's just like it should sound like this and he's just do like mouthing the sound of the saxophone which in my mind it's like bruce is writing musical notes or something right you don't picture a guy just being like it should sound like this and then the guy does it it kind of was like wow you know it blew me away but there's a lot of musicians who don't read music no i think like most and it's funny i took mandolin not most but many rock musicians i took mandolin lessons years ago and it was fun and i thought i wouldn't be able to read music because i'd always hear like eddie vetter can't read music and bruce spring and it turns out it's not that hard they just didn't feel like learning it like in my mind i was like these

geniuses can't do it and then the lady was like no you can they just didn't want to learn how to read music it's just it looks like a weird alien language when you see all the musical notes and everything like to me they register as nothing. Of course. I've seen people with musical notes tattooed. They have a strip of music line and the musical notes around it. I have no idea what that is. It could be Nazi stuff.

Of course. I don't know what it is. It's crazy. And I have friends that are world-class musicians, and it's crazy to watch them just read a thing and play it. It's like a magic trick. I hate to do this, but I just got an IV before this, and I have to piss already. Oh, piss. What do I do?

Do I just? You can pee, too, or just hang out. I'll be right back. We'll be right back. No, I just feel like I'll be all fucking jacked up. Jacked fucking up. You drink caffeine, though, right? Yeah, I drink caffeine.

I'm a green tea guy. Are you a coffee guy ever, or just a green tea guy? No, I've never been a coffee guy. Really? I had one cup of coffee in my life and it was in Peru. I was on vacation in Peru and we're in like this coffee field and this guy was like, people fly from all over the world to have this coffee. And I was like, well, I got to have it.

I'm in Peru. And I was like, this is the worst thing I've ever done in my life. I'm just not a coffee guy. But as I get older, it smells very good. So maybe I would like, well, I got to have it. I'm in Peru. And I was like, this is the worst thing I've ever done. I'm just not a coffee guy. But as I get older, it smells very good. So maybe I would like it. But I like green tea. Green tea is nice. Very nice.

Coffee is one of those weird things that people call an acquired taste. And I don't know why anybody would ever want to acquire a taste. But if my beer was like that, when you first had beer, were you like, nice? I was like, this is fucking shit. I, were you like, nice? I was like, this is fucking shit. I'm sure I didn't. When I was a kid, I was probably like,

this is fucking gross. That's how I felt. I'd like spit it out. You're only drinking it to get fucked up. Yeah. But then didn't you acquire a taste for it?

Like an IPA, you're like, ooh, this is delightful. I don't like IPAs as much. I like a cold ale. You know, like a cold ale on a hot day. You know, like a cold ale on a hot day. You know, like

fish and chips. Of course. Beer has to be, beer and soda to me, because I just needed them ice cold. Well, beer I would drink piss warm. Well, clearly, nobody drinks soda tea. Right? At tea temperatures. Right, but I mean, you can get a warm soda and you're like furious.

I wonder what it would taste like if you microwaved your soda I'll give you out a coca-cola and you do it nuked it up to put it in a teapot. Does it? I'm sure it boil. It's liquid. If you just poured it in a teapot. It's mostly water and and and heated it to The thing was going off and then you poured it in your cups and just drank hot Coca-Cola? I don't know. I mean, it's not, I assume it would lose its fizz, right? Imagine, of course it would, but imagine if we just

invented something awesome and nobody thought to do it ever until just now. We might have done it. Has anybody done that before? There must be YouTube videos. So I'm reading right now, a hot Dr. Pepper is a drink that straddles the line between the two. When heat is applied to a cool can of soda, it transforms into a light, refreshing soft drink

into a thick, sweet tea. Mmm. Odd as a hot soda might sound, it's really not that different from a glass of hot cider. I think I did a bit. I don't remember the bit where I said I like to boil my soda,

and I can't remember why I said it, but I had a bit. I don't remember the bit where I said I like to boil my soda, and I can't remember why I said it. But I had a bit like that. Fuck, I don't remember why I said that. That's a weird thing to say. Yeah, I don't remember the bit. Were you just being outrageous about other things? Like, was it a contrary thing? No, I forget.

Maybe it was about, oh. Like, I like cold steak and boiled soda. I can't even remember. God damn. Do you ever have those? You're like, I know I've said this sentence before and I don't know why. It's the worst. Yeah, I can't remember.

I like to boil my soda. It was something about, I don't fucking know. I hear you. I can't remember. It'll come back to you it's like that's one of those memories that you have to like

stop pushing the memory guy to find it he's like I can't find it I can't find it you're like okay I'm gonna leave you alone

I'm gonna leave you alone I'm gonna move on if you find it let me know like that which is metaphor for life and then you go yeah

you gotta let go or it doesn't work sometimes that spin you're not getting any traction it's like when you get stuck in snow and you're like, like, hey, hey, hey.

You're going to blow out your transmission. Settle down. Right. Let's figure this out. That was an Alan Watts. I found it. You're talking about... You found that? Yeah. Sometimes I boil a Pepsi right before bed. Yeah. I can't

remember. I still don't remember. I don't know. I can't believe you found that. That's crazy. That's funny. Yeah. I still don't know where you get it.

It is weird how there's some drinks that traditionally are just warm or cold. That's it. But coffee, you can be both. You can be both. Same with water. You can have an ice water.

I mean, hot water, I guess. Yeah. Nobody drinks hot water unless it's got flavor in it. I drank hot water last night at the club. By the way, I had a big moment at the club. I have a contribution to the club. You do. Because you have a tea kettle and there was no tea bags.

And then I was sarcastically shitting on the club to Curtis, and then he ratted me out, too. But I just drank a hot water because it is calming, even if there's nothing in it, to drink warm water. And then somehow,ed me out too. But I just drank a hot water because it is calming even if there's nothing in it to drink warm water. And then somehow, it's a mystery. He left for like 10 minutes

and came back with high-end tea. There must be like a store nearby or something. I guess at 10.30 at night on 6th Street? I don't know. 6th Street's pretty wild. It was a magic trick. It's an unusual place, man. Have you been there on the weekends?

Oh, yeah. I hate it. You close the street down and everybody just walks back and forth. It's the worst place on earth to me. I mean, the club is great, but I'm not joking. We were talking about it before. I jog back to the hotel. It's like a block and a half.

It's sketchy. Yeah. But that's part of what I like about it. It's, yeah. It also gives us an opportunity to hire a lot of cops. I love it. Yeah, we've got a lot of cops that work there. I love it.

You walk 30 feet away, and you can see them like, good luck. One guy was like, there's a lot of crackheads around. I'm like, I know about the crackheads. Why don't you just get a car? Because I'm staying like 150 yards away. You can't get a lift. You need it. You need a lift.

I mean, I made it. I made it home. Well, tonight we'll drive. Oh, we're not coming tonight. No,. You need a lift. I mean, I made it. I made it home. Well, tonight we'll drive. Oh, we're not coming tonight. No, I'm off to Vegas. But next time I'll drive you. All right, I appreciate that. We'll take you on the way.

Well, last time I was here, you drove me because I got accosted by the two. No, it wasn't last time. It was like three years ago. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I had two guys. That's right. Guys were fucking with you. Yeah, it was bad.

Were those homeless folks? They were homeless guys, yeah. Yeah. And I also just, somebody sent me a article that said the Austin police were like, hey, if you get robbed on 6th Street, don't call 911. We can't. It's too much. Call 311.

Literally, they're like, call 311 and report it. Like a guy just writes it down in a blog. It's, I don't know. We need the National Guard down here. They refunded the police out here, though. They defunded the police for a little bit, and then they upped the budget recently. They changed it back.

They're like, this is not working. And all the wealthy people that live around here were freaking out, I guess. Yeah, I mean, I told this story on stage the other night, but I was here for Moon Tower, and, you know, it's just, I'm joking a little bit. It's not, you can come and walk around 6th Street, but it's wild. And I said to some woman, she was like a volunteer, I was like know it's just it's i'm joking a little bit it's not you can come and walk around six street but it's wild and i said to some woman she was like a volunteer i was like it's fucking crazy out there and she went oh where are you from and i was like new york city

i'm not like some fucking hayseed i live in new york like this is unusual out here there's like people with machetes and tire irons walking around. That one street. Yeah. Like Brazos and Six. And Six. But the crazy thing is that that's the area that we got. But when we were there, it just felt like it was supposed to be there. Like I was trying to convince myself of the cult house.

When the cult house, when I was walking around, I was like, yeah, we could do this and we could do that that and we could have a separate parking lot for the comics. That's cool We got a lot of because we had like eight acres mm-hmm look at this view. We'll have out the back We could hang out here and party with this green room will block these walls turn is immense green room I had all these good great plans. Yeah, it would have worked It definitely would have worked of course but that place had a lot of there's a lot of issues to be resolved including stuff that was like it could be a real problem for me and so i was like all right this this isn't gonna work let me find another spot

and then it was like i looked at four or five different locations and they were pretty good and i was trying to talk myself into them. And then I got to that place, and I was like, oh, shit. I was like, this is it. This is it. I'm like, we've got to make this happen. No, it's where it should be,

and it's magical, and it's now like a cornerstone of the neighborhood, it feels like. It just felt like it was supposed to happen, like while you're in there. And even people ask me if it was stressful. It wasn't really stressful. Everybody that was working on the project other than me, it was amazing. And so they all did a great job, so I didn't stress about that.

And I just like, it's out of my hands. Let's just do everything that you're supposed to do. Like it would be best if we did this. Do that. Whatever it is, do that then. if we did this. Do that. Right. You know, whatever it is, do that then. This is going to take more time. It's going to cost more money, but let's do it.

Let's do that. We need a UFO in the front lobby, a fucking actual flying saucer. Right, right, right. And I want it to be a projection that shoots a projection on the screen of who's coming next. So we have, like, these posters of what comedians are coming up and you did it yeah it's just it took a long time but i really feel like it would it wanted to be made right i feel like like it literally wanted me to create it you want to hear my suggestion for the club yes you really yeah sure but right behind big stage, there's some space back there where you're waiting?

Yeah. A toilet. So you can take a shit right before you go on. Because the only toilet is right outside. I was in there. I had to shit. I was like, I'm holding it. There's a line.

Tony Hinchcliffe's knocking on the door. That's a big ask. Because you got to get plumbing back down through there. Just a suggestion. Not an ask. Because I don't think there's enough room either. That's a small space. Because you're going to, maybe I'm wrong.

Because like Monday night, there was 25 people in the green room in one toilet. I was like, this is no good. But that's Monday night. Right. Monday night is like, they have way too many people up in there. I mean, it was wild. It's just too goofy. But on a normal night, that's not the case.

But yeah, that's not, but then there's a downstairs toilets too okay you know there's the public toilets oh come on joe i'm not going to a public toilet they're all clean they're all good do you know who i am i do know who you are you're jealous i've been on the joe rogan experience you're from new york city i don't know you're in that louis ck movie i don't in that but it's a joe this movie um just kidding he's gonna hear that. He's going to be mad. I'm only joking. I think maybe that is a good idea. Somewhere. I heard rumblings. I'm trying to think where it could be.

There was a young lady that was nervous to shit with you waiting. Because everyone's worst nightmare is they're in the bathroom brushing their teeth, and Joe Rogan can't use the bathroom. Okay. You know? Yeah, we should have had a better setup with that. Maybe we can do that. Maybe we can have a bathroom right next to the stage.

Hey, I'm just throwing out suggestions. Maybe we should leave a heroin spoon in there too. Absolutely. Just symbolic for Stevie. Let it happen. Yeah, he was a big heroin guy. But he cleaned up. Yeah, I believe he did right yeah he cleaned up and i think his like you can find his like aa speaks on our speaks speeches qualification whatever you call it on youtube

heroin and music boy how many fucking amazing musicians were heroin users isn't it unbelievable i tried to do this as a joke it never worked but i'm like keith richards is playing fuck he's like soloing on heroin like i take a tylenol pm and i can't read anymore i'm like i gotta lay down i mean it's unbelievable that these guys can shoot heroin and play guitars did he shoot it did keith shoot it or did he snort it like how did he do his heroin i don't know i don't know either but whoever i mean name whoever else i mean i'm sure um you know cobain all those guys so many guys it's just but i i never did heroin i don't know what it's like to be on heroin but in my mind i i didn't do a lot of big drugs i bumped into a friend of mine at skank fest and he was like i'm on acid right now and in my mind

acid you're not like oh hey it's joe list how you doing i'd picture like there's a fucking lizard walking at me but i guess it's not really like that what depends on the dose right you know you can get to like some serious reality dissolving doses sure i think of acid as like you go in the woods or you look at the Jefferson Airplane video or whatever, not you're walking around a festival communicating with people. Yeah, you queue up Pink Floyd and The Wizard of Oz. Yes, which is fun to do, by the way. It's crazy that it works. Roger Waters said it's a total coincidence. Yeah, I mean, it seems coincidental, but it's fucking cool.

But it's insane how good it is. Like, when you sync it up perfectly, it really does seem like it's a soundtrack to the movie. It's a lot of fun. Great album, great film. But how does something like that happen, where the synchronicity is so perfect? I don't know. Why, do you have a theory? I don't know. Do you think it's just worked out that way?

I think there's more to the world than physical things. I really do. I just think we're skeptical of that because we can't measure it. I think there's more to the world. There's more connections in the world than we would like to imagine because I think they'd be overwhelming. But I think there's connections with your very mind. I think your mind and overwhelming. But I think there's connections with your very mind.

I think your mind and the world interact with each other in a way that changes the world and changes your mind. I think sometimes there's like evidence of that in just these weird, unique ways. Like two ideas converge together. ways like two ideas converge together and even though it's completely coincidental that pink floyd and the wizard of oz you know you do is it dark side of the moon right yeah that they sync up absolutely perfectly but maybe it's not but maybe it's the universe saying look look at this little cute little easter egg look at this cute little tidbit. We're showing you that this is not a logical universe. Like there's some weird stuff to it. Super weird stuff. But doesn't some of it also feels like the confirmation bias?

Like you're told these go together, so you're watching. And they do feel like they go together. But some of it you're like, oh, the lion and that sound. But you're kind of just. Listen, let's play it. Play Dark Side. Show a Dark Side of the Moon connected with Wizard of Oz.

When you actually see... I used to think that, too. All these hippies are trying to find fucking connections and everything. Fucking potheads. Trying to be skeptical. And then I watched it, I was like, oh. Oh my god, this is crazy. I haven't done it since high school, but it was fun. And it's also

interesting who the first person to do it was. I'm sure that information is somewhere. But when you actually see it, the connection is insane. It's so good. It really does seem like that's what happened. Like they made it for it. Wizard of Oz rules. Great film. When's the last time you

watched it? Long time ago. One of the funniest scenes ever is when the cowardly lion runs and jumps out of a fucking window. It's like one of the great comedic scenes. He gets scared of the wizard and he fucking runs and dives out the window. It's very funny. Funny guy. And the special effects were dog shit. Yeah.

Boy, 1930 whatever it was. 39. I found a chunk. This is like just a part of it. Just keep it. That's all we do. Here. I thought it started later. No, this is where it starts.

This is just where it cuts in. This is the part where it switches the time, yeah. And this is perfect, too, because it's such a great song. I love that this is the TBS version. Look at the way the sound ends. The timing of it. Right? Right when she arrives at the gate,

the loud bells stop. Right. And she's talking. It's about to begin. She walks out and the music hits. Dude, it's wild. And now you see the conflict, right? She turned her head at the exact moment. Yeah.

So there's this conflict. The pause, she goes to the other guy. The pause, she goes to the other guy. Another pause, she goes to the other lady. Right. I mean, it's time perfect. Man, this song rules. This song fucking rules. Now watch this.

As the buildup happens, like the tension increases in the scene, people are getting more frantic. Women wear gloves back then, bro. They're working it out. She's trying to get her to put the dog in the basket Fuck you bitch It puts the dog in the basket or it gets the hose again Now watch

It's crazy how well the timing is They're taking our little dog away, man. You cunt. You fucking fat cunt. That's the witch, bro. Now watch this here. Taking away the moments to take up a dull day. That's the witch, bro. Now watch this here. Go, Toto. That's nice. Listen, you can obviously say that it's coincidental in some parts, but goddamn.

And that's just one piece. There's like through the whole movie, there's scenes like that. It's just like syncs up and syncs up and syncs up. It's fun. It's fun. And back before the internet, it was perfect because you could just say this is what it was they did the music to the Wizard of Oz right you know it's fun Wizard of Oz don't you think it's the most referenced film ever like like deep in our like kids know references they've never even seen the

movie like you see someone to bite people go like that like your little dog too there's no place like home there's so many references that just live in the psyche from a film that came out 100 years ago almost right it's the most seen film and movie history there you go according to the library of congress all right i buy that the movie's seen and heard what's number two let's try to think of it. The Barbie movie. I want to try to think. Maybe it's got to be like Snow White or some Bambi, something like that.

Conan. Conan. The barbarian. No. IMDb has a different list order. Oh, what's IMDb's number one of all time? I was thinking Titanic would have to have been up there. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, it has to be.

What about Avatar? And then it has E.T. as number two. Oh, wow. E.T.'s big. So Titanic's number one? According to IMDb. Is that box office or just most viewed? It says watched.

I typed in watched. So I actually typed in most seen movie. I typed in the exact same thing it said. And this has most watched movies of all time. It's Titanic. Because it's different qualification. Because Wizard of Oz exact same thing it said. And this has most watched movies of all time. Because it's different qualification. Because Wizard of Oz has been around for 80. It came out in 39.

So you have all those people. But Wizard of Oz is great. And she was supposed to be like a 12-year-old. You know, they were like tying her tits down and everything. Jesus. Yeah, it's crazy. She was supposed to be 12 and they were taping her tits down. And evidently the little people were like, you know, harassing her and grabbing her pussy and stuff. Jesus Christ.

Yeah, it's crazy stories. People were horrible back then. Yeah. Did you ever see Shirley Temple? Like any of the old Shirley Temple stuff? Just clips. I've never like sat and watched a Shirley Temple film. It's bizarre. Really? She was massive right yeah she's massive but here's what's bizarre there's scenes where i mean she's a little girl and she's on an airplane with a bunch of men

and these men can't stop looking at her she's sitting on their laps what is that was that the good ship lollipop that she was singing? Yeah. Wait till you see this. And she was really young, you know? And this is what happened to her when she's, you know, I don't know how old she was. Was she like eight or nine or like? It's a good question.

I think younger than that when she first started. She looks really young. Oh, she looks like she's four. Oh, yeah. She's younger than I thought she was. Watch this. at this. Oh boy Look at this How weird is this?

It's a little odd. Fast forward to the lap dance scene. Oh my god, I was joking. That's fucking crazy. So, hold on. And now they're all carrying her. Oh no no Oh Jesus She's all coked up

That's what it's supposed to remember Like what was that they put on her nose What was that I don't know They're giving her toys now I don't know. They're giving her toys now. Oh, Jesus.

Bro, how weird is that? It's a little strange. I mean, it's always fascinating that her parents were like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, carry her around, guys. My friend Matt Wayne, he's a great comic. He's my opener. He does a bit about um like you have to be I think it's like 10 days old to appear in film and he went to he really went to a screening of the quiet place part two and they had a special guest at the appearance and it was the fucking baby like they

just held up a whatever three month old baby oh maybe the baby was a year and a half at that point and was like here it is here's the baby I, it's really fascinating to have a baby and be like, take my baby. And he says, Jim from The Office, just take my baby. It's a great bit. That is weird. But it's really odd. These people that are like, absolutely, just have a baby. Use my baby in the movie.

Yeah, walk around with my baby. That's our Cheryl up there on that screen. It's fucking. And the aliens are eating the other folks. It's strange. I mean, I guess somebody has to do it You gotta have babies in film because I remember they did American Sniper and famously there was the fake baby Yeah, you got busted with a fake baby. It was really bad

But people got mad. Yeah, the fake baby. It was uh, I mean it did look ridiculous I don't remember how bad it looked it wasn't find it. Let's find it. It's not good not a not a great film in my opinion, but the baby, with or without the baby. It doesn't look horrible there. Oh, my God. It did look so horrible. No, one more time. Watch it from the beginning.

Come on. Watch this. It's so fake. Look how fake that looks. Look. I mean, it's just lifeless yeah yeah the arms aren't moving oh yeah that's hilarious you think we're stupid they must have been like just do a little thumb thing. Yeah. We can't wait. We can't.

That is great. It almost looks like he's looking like, does this work? He's doing puppetry. He's doing super high level puppetry in a movie. Poor guy. I mean,

it's like puppetry that the whole world's going to see. Would you hand your baby to a movie star? No. Fuck out of here. I don't think they should use kids in movies.

I mean, I guess you got to at some point, right? Every kid that I've ever met, bar none, that was famous when they were young is fucked up. Yeah, it's not good. I mean, most people get fucked up. Most adults get fucked up from fame. Yeah. This is what I think it's like. I think it's like making cement.

See, when you make cement, you need to put the right amount of water, the right amount of grit, the right amount of all that stuff. You mix it all together. But if you have like not enough water from the beginning, your cement's bullshit. And it's never going to get better. You can't add water later. Right. That's what it's like when some people get famous young.

They didn't develop into an actual human being. Right. They developed into a famous person. So the path that they took is so alien to everybody else on earth that no one can relate to them other than other little famous kids. And they're all fucked up too. Yeah. No, and then you have money and a weird sense of ego that you're like, I'm a star.

You're not prepped to handle that. Yeah, I mean, some of them are working through it. Like I had Demi Moore on the show. She's working through it, you know? How young was she when she became famous? Very young. Oh, really? Yeah. Demi Lovato. What did I say? Demi Moore on the show. She's working through it. How young was she when she became famous? Very young. Oh, really? Yeah.

Demi Lovato. What did I say? Demi Moore? I did. Oh, I was like, no kidding. Sorry, Demi Moore. That's hilarious. I was like, I had no idea.

I was like, what a Freudian. I was up late last night. My apologies. Because she was young, but not that. I was like. So Demi Lovato. Sorry. I don't think I know who that is.

She's a singer. Yeah. Actress. I'm aovato. Sorry. I don't think I know who that is. She's a singer. Yeah. Actress. I'm a boomer, man. I don't know. She was in the Mickey Mouse Club, right? Wasn't she? Maybe Disney.

I don't know about Mickey Mouse for sure. I could check. She was definitely a Disney girl. Barney. She was her first TV show. Yeah. Yeah. And Miley Cyrus.

She's another one that I've talked to that had a similar experience. She was on Hannah Montana. She was super young, and she was a fucking superstar. Not familiar? This is Demi Lovato? I want to congratulate Demi Lovato on taking back her gender. Isn't she no longer non-binary? Sorry, I've got to go to airplane mode.

I have a new phone. I don't know how to get the notifications off. I'm just vibrating over here. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go to sounds, right? I thought... Oh, no. You don't have to go all that stupid shit. You swipe down from the top, right? And then you go to this right here, do not disturb. Bam. Beautiful.

You won't get any text messages until you swipe back and go and get it. I'll show you how to do that later. Thank you. I appreciate it. Very easy. I'm like 100 years old. Upper right corner, swipe down. Beautiful. Not hard. I know. Well, I'm... But anyway, no, you know. But anyway, no, you can't use my fucking baby in your stupid movie.

It's fucking. They make a CGI baby. They can make dragons. Look at the Game of Thrones dragons. You can't make a fucking baby. Yeah, it feels like you could do that. And now deleted tweet. American Sniper screenwriter Jason Hall wrote that director Clint Eastwood opted for the fake baby after the first child selected for the sequence became ill

and a second baby failed to show up on set. So he had to go with the fake baby. Maybe the parents had a change of heart. Maybe they called their you know, their mother and was like you can't fucking drop your baby off to Clint Eastwood he's too old. My feeling is they should have shot that scene differently.

If you're going to use a fake baby you have, not telling Clint Eastwood how to make a movie, but you have this guy reach in and pick up the baby, and then you shoot him from the chest up. Right. Except for a rare American werewolf in London glimpsed of the baby. So you have to go back over. Look how fake that looks. Bradley. Look at the fake little legs. Bradley Cooper on American Fake Baby scene. I couldn't believe we were doing it.

He goes, I was like, this is nuts. Oh, poor guy. Imagine. And he's like a top of the food chain actor. They're making him do puppetry with a fake baby. I mean. It just takes you totally out of the movie. Of course.

I mean, that sucks. That sucks. But if he shot it differently, it wouldn't. If he shot it differently, like the lady's got the baby. She's holding on to the baby. His back enters the scene. He's bundling in his arms. Next thing you see, it's him shot up.

You don't see the baby. You see him holding this obviously he's holding the baby in his arms but you look in his face right i guess i mean they i guess they wanted to show this killer with the baby fake baby it's really bad and that was not even one i remember being in the theater being like what it wasn't even one that you find out later like there's so many movie moments where like the stunt double has a mustache and he doesn't like and then you look close and you're like oh shit which is a bunch of those which are always fun yeah there was a famous one on flash dance the woman doing the audition dance it wasn't a woman they had a man do it but he

refused to shave his mustache and there's a moment you can freeze frame I'm sure you can find it where you just see what I forget the actress's name I'm a maniac that whole thing yeah she has a fucking it's a guy with a mustache because he wouldn't shave it and they were just like all right we'll just go with it it's a guy that was doing yeah I'm pretty I mean I hope this is true I'm gonna feel like an ass I just was told this. Oh, you just want to tell us. I remember seeing it, though. I swear. Jamie, come on. Come through, baby.

This might be tough. You found my bit. You found my boiling Pepsi bit. There's no way. Flash dance mustache. Maybe. She's a maniac, maniac on the road. That one, and then there's the other great song from the woman that just died.

What's the other great fucking song on there? It's a... First when there's nothing but a dull aching dream. Oh, yeah. Take your passion and make it happen. It's not the whole dance. Irene Cara. Irene Cara, yeah. She just died, I think.

But that song rules. Yeah. I'm gay fame I'm gonna live forever there was a weird time where those kind of movies

were like very popular like very musical dramas yeah about people that are just talented and they're gonna make it

of course and they're wearing scarves and they're from the rough side of town but they get together and shine. But doesn't that song get you as somebody that pursued a dream?

I listen to that song, and I'm like, this is me, baby. I took my passion and made it happen. You made it happen. Fucking right, man. Do you want to live forever? I don't want to live forever. I mean, I want to live forever, but I'd like to live in this state for a long time. I've been thinking about this and talking about this a lot lately.

Living forever? I think if heaven's real, if heaven's real and I was the devil, you know what I would do? I'd convince people that they should extend their life.

Yeah? I'd convince people that they can live forever. I'd convince people to transplant their soul into a machine where they would be trapped for eternity.

If you could just trick them. Right. Imagine if heaven's real. Imagine if you die one day and you're like, oh my God, it's real. It's not like a dude in the clouds and a guy with a book. It's like, what'd you do when you were in seventh grade? You lied to your mom. So what is it?

What is heaven then? What if it's just some other realm where you're disembodied, disembodied from your physical being, but you live in a realm of pure consciousness, just pure consciousness interacting with other consciousness. It's just geometry, just patterns. And what if that's where you're supposed to be? That's great. It's just geometry, just patterns. What if that's where you're supposed to be? That's great. But what if this place just gets increasingly more dystopian? And as life goes on, you signed up to live forever.

But now life is suck. It's just suck. It's just everybody's eating insect burgers and all your time is monitored by the great overlord powers of the world economic forum, which controls the earth. You're cooked up to some grid and you have to be attached to it and labor for X amount of hours per day in order to be fed and housed. This sounds similar to reality. Yeah, but what if it keeps getting worse? It might keep getting worse. What if that's really what hell is?

What if hell is the trick that you're scared to die, so you sign up to be a part of this cyborg program, and you literally lose your soul? Yeah. Your soul gets transplanted into a machine forever, and it's the devil's trick. And it's just you looking at TikTok all day. Just fucking dark web and that's hell. And the problem is I would never consider that as a possibility because there's so many loons

that run around telling you the devil is crafty and the devil has plans for you. And you're like, sure he does. Okay, it's the devil. Right. But what if it is the devil? And what if one of the ways the devil gets you to think that the devil's stupid is has a bunch of stupid people believe in the devil? Now, does he have horns in the tail and stuff? Like a fiery guy?

Because that's always amusing to me. I bet he can look any way he wants. I mean, he's got the power to manipulate all of mankind. We're assuming that it's real right. He's like t1000 yeah 22,000 whatever now much more complicated than that it's literally like Tempting you to do the wrong thing all the time What if that's like a real thing like a real force in the universe and it's not just the the problems with? human biology and the desire to spread your DNA and tribal warfare and people stealing resources from other people so that their DNA would survive and the other ones wouldn't, which is what it's been for all of human history.

All the warring and all the thievery and all the horrible shit that people have done to each other. It's all a survival thing. It's all programmed in like that. You're freaking me out, Joe. Yeah. You're losing me. I'm getting nervous. You should be.

You should be a little nervous. What if the trap, the big ultimate trap, is downloading your consciousness into something? Right. What if the soul actually can be contained? What if there's a way to actually put it into something? Like we think of the soul as being, you know, like if you believe in it at all,

you think your soul leaves your body when you die. But what if you can suck it out of your body before you die, lock it up in a Ken doll? I would love for someone to try to suck my soul out via the cock. But what you described as consciousness and just interact with other consciousness, that is reality, is it not? Or what if

you can make duplicates of your consciousness? What kind of a hell would that be? What if you just couldn't help it, like one of them ladies that has big giant fake butts? What if you just kept making more and like one of them ladies that has big giant fake butts? What if you just kept making more and more duplicate like what if Donald Trump got a hold of the duplicates of your consciousness machine? And they said Donald

Do you know how well you would dominate the world if there was a million of you all working together in sync? This is I mean literally tremendous a million we can do a million we could do a billion there's someone else might say a million's enough I would say it's not there's eight billion people why are there eight billion Trump's and so you have eight billion of you you just keep as much if you have money just keep making duplicates of your consciousness and sending it out there that That'd be crazy. That's all I have for this one.

We're going to reach a point, like we were talking about changing your structure, like using genetics. They're going to do that, and they're also going to merge. People are going to merge with machines. It's going to happen in our life. Do you think? 100%. 100%.

They're already working on it. They're already working. And the first, the doorway to it is going to be helping people with neurological conditions, injuries, spinal cord injuries. People can't move their bones. They can't move their muscles correctly. Right. But I feel like people are just going to have robots that they work with for a while, at

least, before they they merge don't you think I think the real dilemma is going to be what happens first and what has to happen first so if artificial intelligence can now make its own decisions and if artificial intelligence becomes sentient means it becomes independent and then decides to make its own decisions and make a better version of itself. It's going to very quickly reach some godlike level. The only way we're going to survive is if we're merging with it. If we're still just fucking talking monkeys and we create this thing that's infinitely smarter than us

and immediately puts a stop to all the shenanigans in the world cuts off pacific ocean fishing like engineers all the plastic removal kills all the coal plants redesigns nuclear power you know gets rid of all the fucking solar like this this is a put a fucking reactor here get out of here with your panels. You've got 85 football fields covered up with this ugly black square thing. Fuck out of here. What are you dummies doing? Oh, you got a wind farm? Great.

What are you going to do with all these birds that get chewed up like they're flying into a fan? Pull that shit down. And then they'll redesign all of our irrigation systems. They'll redesign all the food. And then they go, why are we feeding these morons? What are they doing? You feed them, what do they do? They just want to eat Doritos and drink soda pop and watch 90 Day Fiance.

That's all they wanted to do. Well, that's the scary thing is they realize they don't need us. Someone used the metaphor of like cows. We eat cows and we wear them. So we have cows around. But if we had, what do we call it, 3D printers that just made meat and leather, we would probably be like, ah, we don't need these cows anymore.

They stink and their methane is fucking up the environment. Let's just get rid of them. And that's AI. We're the cows. You know what the darkest conspiracy theory about aliens is? I don't know if I'm ready for it. That Earth is essentially a farm and human beings are the vessels that contain souls and they want us because this is how they create souls

and so they're farming us they've created us so we started off as primates and through some sort of genetic intervention i'm not saying i believe this I'm just saying that this is like top of the food chain, pull your tinfoil hat on super tight, that they farm us, and that the whole reason why human beings are involved in this conflict, constant conflict, all of it is to increase our competition with each other, increase our ability to control resources,

which will increase our technology, which will ultimately lead to us creating this being that we're going to create. This artificially intelligent super god. Which is going to happen. I don't even know what to say. I mean, that sounds crazy. I hope that's not the case.

I got gigs. I think the gigs are going to be over. No, come on. What are you doing? You're bumming me out. Once we become cyborgs, comedy is not going to be what we do anymore. We're going to be flying. We're going to realize UFOs are around us all the time.

No, we're going to be just fine. Are you worried? I'm always worried about the future. The unknown is terrifying, of course. What about the election? Am I worried about the future the unknown is terrifying of course what about the election am I worried about the election yeah

slightly I mean I've gotten much better at being like I can't control any of this and so I just take it a day at a time

but this could be it could be it's very AA of you it is yeah I mean that's I'm an AA guy I mean I gotta

but that's also just a proper way to live. Yeah, it's a smart way to live. Sort of thing. I can't control it. But yeah, it's going to be crazy. It also feels like Trump is going to win, doesn't it? More than it ever felt like it in 2016. Certainly.

In 2016, it was like a joke to say that he was going to win. Yes. There was like eight people that were like, guys. Yeah, you'd go on stage, you'd go, Trump's going to win, you pussies. And people would go, whoa. You could play a character that said Trump was going to win. Right. You don't even know about the regular America.

Well, I think he didn't even think he was going to win. Oh, I think he thought he was going to win. You do? Yeah. Oh, I thought he, it felt like he was like, oh, okay. Did you see the footage that was removed from um what was it a meet the press no they removed nine minutes of him denying the election of trump so he does this interview and the the nine minutes that got removed is all him talking about the hunter

biden laptop that that was election interference, that they were doing ballot stuffing. The lady's going, that's all been disproven. That's been disproven by the heads of your intelligence agency. That's been disproven by your team. You know that that's not true. And they're like going back and forth. It's like, it's really wild. Let's move on to more productive topics, Mr. President.

Let's move on, Mr. President. And he's like, it's real. They stuffed the ballots. You've seen them stuff it. You've seen the photos. It's a wild conversation. And they took it off the internet? Yeah. Well, they took it off the show. And he's essentially saying, like, if you went to court, you'd have so much evidence that you'd win in court. Right.

But why don't they go to court then? This is what I don't understand. I don't want to get, I'm agnostic about all this stuff until youhmm until you show me like what kind of evidence is involved in this but isn't it? I mean am I just consuming too much mainstream evidence? I mean a media like I think there is no evidence I think he's completely well What he's saying is that there is evidence and that he needs to provide it in court And what I'm saying is like why aren't you in court then? Yeah. Like, what? Because he's lying.

Well, I don't know. He's not just sitting. Donald Trump's not the guy that's going to sit on evidence that's going to show that he won. But that's a big lie. And the other things that he said before, you know, they were saying that he was lying about Hunter Biden. They were saying he was lying about the laptop. And then they got the 51 intelligence agencies to back up, you know, the fact that it was disinformation. Like, he was right about that, though. He was right about it was disinformation. He was right about that, though.

He was right about the bribes. He was right about all that shit. Well, that's the tricky thing about lying so much, is occasionally you're going to say correct things, and people are going to be like, oh, wait. Well, no. You know what it's like? It's like you're lying about another liar.

Well, you're telling the truth about another liar. It doesn't mean that you don't lie. Yeah, of course. Just because you catch someone lying doesn't mean you don't lie, too. Yeah. I mean, Donald Trump has certainly said many true things. That's a good point. It's hard to parse. Parcel?

Parse? What's the word there? Part and parcel, I think. Yeah. I can't remember. But, like, for instance, I was lying about the dancing mustache guy in Flashdance. Jamie found it! You got it?

I've been sweating. See, there's his cock. It was a stunt double for part of the dance. You can see how giant his quads are right there compared to the rest of this. I'll play it for you

so you can see. So there's her. That's her. She's very shapely. Here it switches to the guy like right now. And then he'll do this cool move that maybe she couldn't do.

You can see he's got tights on. This. Yes, this is the mustache. Oh, he's so jacked. Yeah. That's me right there. So if I pause a little bit, you can kind of tell it's not her. That's so crazy that he didn't take the mustache off.

Can you see the mustache at some point? It's really hard to see it. That is so obviously a dude. That's so crazy. And it's a jacked dude. Oh, yeah. Look at the hamster. Those hammies, baby. He's so thick.

I'm not seeing the mustache all that clearly, though. I don't honestly see the mustache. I found another thing explaining it. It showed the guy. He definitely has a mustache. He's fucking jacked, though. Look at her hair and look at his hair. Like, look at their spinning. He's got fucking short hair. They didn't even give him a wig. Look.

Damn it. The mustache thing is bothering me, though. He's got fucking short hair. They didn't even give him a wig. Look. Damn it, the mustache thing is bothering me though. I swear there was a mustache somewhere. It might be like a Shane Gillis mustache. Right, like a faint. Like one of those ones you only see when you're right next to him. You get close when you're kissing him, yeah. There's a clip I saw of like the director explaining this

and in that clip, the guy, the show, the guy, and he does have a mustache. I mean, you might just. Okay, all right. There's mustache in there somewhere. Maybe that's what it is. Maybe the guy grew a mustache later. You're not a liar. You're not a liar. It was a dude, though. Can I start

another cigar? Is that all right? I mean, all this alien talk. We're all going to die. I'm having a child. You're telling me the world's going to end. Oh, I don't think the world's going to end. I think the world's going to change. But are you a hopeful person in general or are you pessimistic, optimistic? I'm more optimistic than i am

pessimistic that's good yeah i have faith in people i think i think people need to somehow be confronted by the reality of the times that we're living in how captured our our ideas are and just to be careful of what we're doing in terms of worldwide conflict personal conflict all conflict i think we're just too embroiled in unnecessary conflict i think it's fucking dangerous it's it's just the the political conflict the the the social conflict that we have it just it gets in the way of all the great aspects of life. Of course. And the problem is, you know,

it's like people want things to be better, and they're convinced that this path is the way to make things better, and the other people are convinced that that's not the way to make things better, and there's no meeting in the middle, and these people are Nazis, and these people are Marxists,

and it's like well so much of this is social media don't you feel like i know i'm not coming out with like a groundbreaking theory here but i mean i think social media is really uh fucking us and dangerous it would would all be improved to limit it to some degree yeah i'm getting a new phone and not not putting any apps on it. I'm keeping an old phone that I'm going to use for social media where I'll go and post things and stuff like that, but I'm done.

Yeah, it's really not good. But the AI stuff, also they could fucking cure cancer and what do you call it? What's the other one? Alzheimer's and all that shit? And climate change, fix that shit up get a carbon

vacuum suck that shit put it right in the earth that's all positive i was reading about some controversy involved in the fake some fake meat company where one of the whistleblowers is saying like are we the next theranos who's that again theranos uh theranos was that lady Elizabeth Holmes all right who faked these blood test things mm-hmm I think this thing's dying no I need to like reduce it for some reason the time looks like it's leaking I think it might be like leaking fluid or something it's gonna going to blow. If it blows, I'll look away. Oh, God. I'm going to look away.

Just get my neck a little bit. Comedian Joe Rogan torches tits during podcast. It'd be a cool scar. It's a little tit torch. Yeah, you are an optimist. Yeah. If I light myself on fire, it'd be a cool scar. Most of the time, I'm optimistic. But I'm also, look, the world is far better right now than it's ever been.

And it seems to always be moving in a far better direction. And even all the social conflict, like a lot of the shit that I don't agree with, like a lot of the youth gender ideology stuff and a lot of the social justice warrior stuff. lot of the social justice warrior stuff i see why it would be a good idea to pursue this idea of making things more equal for everybody like it's all in the right vein i just don't think it works it doesn't i don't think it works accurately with human nature but i like the fact that that's the direction that people are pushing aggressively rather than racism like imagine if like the same exact anti-racism like energy was now pushed towards you know a racist agenda like nazi germany because that was the same kind of thing right but it was a negative thing right it was an extermination thing but it's i think people we got to be real careful about like the conflict that we get in

for fucking no reason yeah but it does feel like everyone is coming from what they feel is a good place as as did hitler i'm sure hitler was like we got to get rid of these jews it's going to be better for everybody so everyone thinks they're coming from a good place well all the ideas of eugenics those guys probably all thought they were coming from an idea of a good place but to us it's horrifying so you're gonna all the weak people you're just gonna kill them right and just have only like the best strongest like best like okay your music's gonna suck right you're fucking your music's gonna suck your food's probably gonna taste like shit your comedians i mean my god you're gonna suck your your authors are gonna suck yeah like you're you're gonna change you're gonna become a warrior class you're gonna be the

spartans is that what you're gonna do hopefully don't you feel like maybe people will start there's more and more studies about social media what's healthy we know more and more about what's healthy getting into the outdoors and being with people being of service as there's many not to get aa again but like there's many scientific studies that like when you're serving other people that's the key to happiness and there's more and more podcasts and books and studies about this so hopefully people go boy i'm really fucking depressed and unhappy let me get into nature put phone down, be of service to others. And you have more people doing that. You do. But I think it's like the warnings on cigarette boxes. Everybody knows they're there and they keep smoking cigarettes. Social media is super

addictive, man. But less people smoke than before. That's so they have worse still a lot of people smoke of course but you might have more people that realize that social media is detrimental to your mental health you know you probably have more people that would recognize it yeah and i think more people do recognize it now than ever before the problem is once you're hooked it's fucking super hard to get off of it yeah it's really hard i'm bad when i'm by myself when i'm with people i'm very good about being present but i spend so much time on the road. And when I'm in the hotel, I find myself being like, I'm going to watch a movie or read. And then I read three paragraphs and I'm like, Oh, that's a, what's up with that guy? And I go to Wikipedia and start reading shit. Yeah. The thing to me is, you know, I love the fact that you can get entertainment on

your phone. I love YouTube. I love podcasts. I love the fact that you listen to music. I love the fact that you can get entertainment on your phone. I love YouTube. I love podcasts. I love the fact that you can listen to music. I love that. That's my favorite part of the phone. I feel like that's overall net positive. I can watch ESPN Plus on my phone. I watch fights, like live streaming, just with 5G.

If I'm stuck somewhere and there's a UFC. I just fucking set my phone down right here Yeah, and I can watch the fights Yeah I've had a bit do some boring ass shit that I agreed to do and really part of it You're just sitting there. I'm like I'm on my phone. All right. I got the fights on now, right? I love that but the social media thing where people are checking their likes and Checking what everybody else is doing and post that I just think that likes and checking what everybody else is doing. I just think that robs you of time to just interact with people and think. And I think we've become super accustomed to that thievery to the point

where we just sort of accepted it. And I've only gone a couple of times without doing it. But one time that I did, it was in Hawaii. I broke my phone. I dropped it and it just started randomly dialing phone numbers. I'd hold it up and it would just randomly dial and I'd press a button. I'm like, look at this. And then it would dial somebody else and I'd press send, end, and then dial someone else. And you couldn't stop it from doing it. I restarted, kept doing it. So I had

to order a phone from Apple. I was on Lanai. It's a small island. It took like three days to get me a phone. But during that three days I felt so much better. I had the same thing happen as the Denver comedy works a few years ago the same thing my phone just Crapped out and I had like two days without it and you're like this is amazing Yeah, I was like a normal person again, and I was with my family so I knew where everybody was We were all hanging out together, so it was like normal

And I was like oh my god This is such a better way to interact in life and then as soon as I got my phone I went right back to it yeah it's hard not to I was just listening to a thing to some I don't know psychologist guy or someone's talking about boredom like what you feel when you're bored like we need to feel that and that evolutionarily was like basically you'd be out hunting and then no animals were coming by and so you felt boredom and that was your brain your body telling you like hey go do something else productive go get berries or go fucking sleep or whatever where we need that to go oh you know what i should do is something

else but instead of feeling that we just go straight to the phone it's also one of the ways you come up with your best ideas right you know You know, when you're just bored and thinking, and then you're stuck in a waiting room somewhere with no magazines. And then next thing you know, like I used to have some of my best ideas on airplanes because I would be stuck on the airplane. I couldn't go anywhere. Yeah. And back when there was no wifi on airplanes, all I had was a notebook. Yeah. It was nice. The subway was like that in New York too. Before when I first moved there, you would have a 45-minute ride home just with your thoughts, same thing. Exactly. Yeah, and we missed that for whatever reason. We didn't think that was valuable because the entertainment that you get off of TikTok or Twitter or any of that stuff is so much better. Now you also have the feeling that I can be productive all the time.

And in reality, it makes you less productive. But you think I can work, which is one of the problems they talk about with people working from home now is there's no more clocking in and clocking out. You wake up and you immediately start. So you end up working more. Maybe. Or you fuck off a lot. Right. And get caught jerking off.

Right. That too. There's a lot of pros and cons to working from home the pros would all apply if you have discipline you know discipline like why do you need to be in an office if you have work that you can get done without other people but don't we need the dopamines the eye contact the bumping into people sometimes you do but it depends what you do right like if you're an author you want silence right right you don't have to be in a fucking office with a bunch of people if you're an author you want to be able to sit alone and just think sure you'll sit alone and come up

with ideas but my father's been working from home he fucking hates it he misses being on the train and bumping and he's like an introverted guy but you know going hi sue how do you do whatever right we need those interactions. Dude, I hate to tell you this. I have to piss again. Piss again. I'm so sorry. Piss in my mouth.

I don't care. I took a big IV bag today. I'll be right back. Hey, we're back. We're back. This is like a dream to me because I piss a lot. So every time you have to piss, I'm like, this is beautiful. Yeah, usually I'm pretty good.

Usually I can hang in there for a few hours, but it gets hard when I do the IV. And also, before I did the IV, I did the sauna. When I go in the sauna, I drink a big fucking hydro flask filled with water, like a 64 ounce. Right. I hit the steam today. I'm a big steam room guy. You like steam? I like both.

I'm all steam. But I prefer the sauna because I think it has more benefits because it gets hotter. Oh, really? The steam's like 120 degrees. Yeah. Yeah, sauna gets like, I do 185. Is that healthy? It seems to be for me.

I mean. Yeah, I don't have a problem with it. But I built up to it. I do 20 minutes at 185. I used to do 25, but 20 seems to, sometimes I'll still do 25, but especially if I've done the cold first. See, I find I'm at the gym. I don't have a personal sauna, not yet.

After this, I feel like, you never know. But, that was sarcasm. But I feel like the sauna at the gym is like 110 or something like that. Nah. Is it higher than that? It's probably warmer, but I bet they don't jack that sucker up too high. They probably won't let it get up to where I like it.

Yeah, I love the steam. I love that. Yeah. As soon as you get in there, you're fucking drenched. It's also just good to get your body reacts to that and it cools it off, and that's what produces these heat shock proteins. They're really good for inflammation. Hot baths are good for it too.

A lot of different heat exposure is very good for you. But the best, at least in terms of the amount of studies that have been done, the best work has been done on the dry sauna, not even the infrared sauna, which also has some benefits. But the dry sauna, they did this study in Finland that showed over 20 years, people that use the sauna four times or more a week Showed a 40% decrease in all-cause mortality Wow strokes heart attacks cancer everything and it's this

anti-inflammation effect they they believe from the heat shock proteins because your body's just your body deals with that This irritant like this this thing, this heat, this pressure, this like thing where your body has to react to a very extreme condition. And in doing so, it creates these, this anti-inflammatory properties to kind of protect itself. And then when you get out of there,

it just flushes through your body, it just feels so good. Maybe I'll start doing more sauna. So relaxed, yeah. It's great so good. Maybe I'll start doing more sauna. Relaxed. Yeah. It's great. All right.

I'll go sauna. But it seems great, too. It feels good. It seems good for your voice and your skin. Yeah. I'm glowing. Yeah. It's weird in there.

It's fucking foggy. My buddy, a friend of mine and I, we used to go to 24 Hour Fitness in California. And one of the guys who was the manager of 24 Hour Fitness, they had just moved him over from West Hollywood. Yeah. And I go, we were talking. I go, what part of West Hollywood? He goes, the gayest part of West Hollywood. That's where 24 Hour Fitness is.

He goes, it's basically a gay pickup gym right and so they had to stop guys from fucking in the steam room and like they kept happening so they had to like literally like have a guy outside see I think that didn't fucking there that's a big thing I go to Equinox it's the same thing they call it a gay friend of mine told me it's they it the low self-esteem room because everyone's in there blowing and fucking each other. You're just a guy who goes in there to just get esteem and two guys are sucking each other off. I mean, I do a bit about it. I mean, I don't want to just do a bit here,

but I feel a way, I've never seen sex and I wonder, am I just like a fucking dork that they're like, oh, this guy's not cool. Like everyone's, put it away, fucking this's not cool. Like everyone's put it away. Fucking this idiot's here. Maybe it's a special thing that only happens like one every three days. Well, maybe it's like a Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule. It might be at night too.

But I go. I'm sure. Every once in a while I have like access to all the Equinox. Occasionally I'll go to the one in Chelsea. And I think that's one of the big ones I've heard. But I haven't seen. Is Equinox a 24 hour place? No. I think it closes at, I don't know, 11 or midnight or something. I think that's one of the big ones I've heard, but I haven't seen it. Is Equinox a 24-hour place? No, I think it closes at, I don't know,

11 or midnight or something. I think it depends, but I've been going to the one here, hitting the steam room, and it's just me. But when I'm in there, I am like, is something about to go down? Right, never know. Because I'd like to be asked.

I did have a guy flirt one time with me, and he was quite flirty. And it was nice because he was complimenting my body, which, you know, I enjoy. Nice enjoy nice i wasn't gonna fuck him but i still was like thank you man i appreciate it yeah did he um ask if you were straight no he didn't ask but he was just like you have a nice little body but i'm i think a straight married man is the biggest get you can get i think that's like if you're a gay guy, to fuck a straight guy. It's like a trophy bass.

That's huge. Yeah. It's like a 15-pound bass. I mean, I was talking about being of service. I mean, that's the ultimate service. That is the ultimate service. I could give someone that gift. If you really believe in inclusion and equity

and helping out the LBGT community, suck that guy off. Well, my thing is, and again, this is in my act, and I don't want to be the guy that comes on and does his act, but the temperature is the deterrent. Like, I don't understand how you have sex in a 120-degree room. That is a little too toasty for my... I like a thermostat like 68.

It can be done. It depends on how horny you are. I mean, I'm not denying it can be done. But imagine if you haven't had sex in weeks, and then all of a sudden you're alone with your lady friend with your wife

in a fucking sauna and she just moves that towel to the side. Yeah. And you were about to black out but you power through. I would enjoy that, yeah.

I mean, and I do occasionally do squats and I feel like if you can do squats you can fuck. Yeah, maybe you just open the door of the sauna. Like, okay, we can do this but you can fuck. I'll do squats in the steam room. Maybe just open the door of the sauna.

Like, okay, we could do this, but let's let a little air in. Let the steam out. Just let a little air in. Let the steam out and the cream in. Hello, folks. Hey. Hi. Hey.

I adore you. When did the term cream pie come around? I don't know. Because you just say that. You say cream pie and everybody knows what you're talking about. Yeah, all those terms. I don't know. Somebody, it's a fascinating thing.

Somebody started all those terms. Somebody was like, we're calling it this. And those are the ultimate viral things. Yeah. I mean, that's viral before viral. There's actually a Wikipedia about this. There is? A Wikipedia?

A cream pie Wikipedia? Oh, shit. Pull it up. Meanwhile, they locked down Andrew Huberman Oh my god there's a picture I don't have that on screen With a vagina and jizz coming out of the vagina On Wikipedia That's beautiful

Cream pie known as Internal ejaculation And typically same sex context As a breeding Is a sexual act commonly featured in hardcore pornography in which a man ejaculates inside his partner's vagina or anus without the use of a condom, resulting in visible seeping or dripping of the semen from the orifice. And they show you a photo for an example. Like, pornography on Wikipedia. who fucking would have imagined and they have a description of what the photo is semen flowing out of a woman's vagina look at this internal

ejaculation shots are a comparatively recent development development like it's a fucking it's a feature in the new technology comparatively recent development of pornography they are not found in early pornographic films the use of the word cream pie to describe such scenes originated in US pornography in the early 2000s and is found in usage as early

as the beginning of 1999 you're gonna party like it's 1999 we're fucking right in straight pornography sexual activity is often followed by a facial, a pearl necklace, or other visible ejaculation. Cream Pie seems to depart from heterosexual pornographic convention in favor of a depiction that more closely mimics sexual activity as performed in ordinary life. They have been called the counter image of facials. There's like theory.

There's porn theory. Wow. How bizarre. You ever eat your own cream pie? What do you think? I know I have a friend who said he's done it many times. And this is often, I often debate this with people. It's one of my favorite topic of conversations with women,

where he claims the women were all into it. He says he's done it seven or eight times, and they were all into it, and I claim they are lying or humoring him, because I've asked many, many women, and the women I've asked, and maybe I hang out in more conservative, sexually conservative circles,

but all the women I've asked were like, I would be tremendously off put by that. Yeah, that seems super unusual. A dude just goes down there and munches on his own jizz. Yeah. Don't you find, I mean, I'm not interested in eating jizz particularly, but don't you feel like right after you come, I have never felt less sexual? That's what's crazy to me is that after you come, you're still interested in doing something fucking naughty.

Maybe it's a Coke thing. Maybe. Or a meth thing. Or an Adderall thing. You know what I'm saying? Like a speedy thing. Because that's one of the things that my friend used to tell me when- Jake's going to throw up over there.

I had a friend that smoked crack, and when he smoked crack, he would just always want to jerk off and fuck. I was like, really? He goes, yeah, you're always just trying to jerk off. Even if you're not horny, you just keep going. It's weird. Yeah, it's funny. When I was on Tom's podcast, he was talking about losing Jamie over there.

I just read the end of the article. Last paragraph. Internal ejaculations followed by images of semen dripping from the anus are sometimes depicted in bareback gay pornography

where they are referred to by the term breeding or reverse money shot. Breeding is sometimes followed by felching which involves sucking the semen from the partner's anus.

Holla at your boy. Your friend likes to felch. He's a felcher. That's from the anus, though. I think it's from the butt. It's felching. Yeah. I don't think it's felching.

He's technically not felching. I think he was like titting or whatever. It was off the tits, which is- Oh, that's even grosser. Oh, that's even more disgusting. Oh, that's even more disgusting. No, that's less gross than out of the asshole. I guess. Yeah.

It's all gross. Yeah, because cum is better than cum and shit. I guess, but you're just licking cum off tits, and she's watching you, and that's weird. Yeah. That's a weird thing. Well, different strokes for different folks, you know? Yeah, definitely. I mean, you're not hurting anybody.

No, but don't you think these women are being kind by being like, oh, I like that. It depends on the kind of women. I mean, he might be dating, like, crazy tattooed up fucking psychos. Well, I'm sure there's women that are like, please do this for me. Eat that jizz off my tits, baby. Now, What if your wife was like I Joe I would really appreciate it I'm into this please. This is what I need. This is my bucket list Would you think about it?

What do you think I? Think no, but I like to pose questions. No That's a crazy. You'd have to be negotiating like what do I get out of this? That's a crazy, you'd have to be negotiating. Like, what do I get out of this? Right. What do I get to do if I do that? Or what do you do if I do that?

Right. And I don't need any of that. I'm not interested. Is there any, yeah, is there an answer to that? No, there's no answer that would fucking fit. I mean, that's the question, right? How much would you have to pay to eat your own jizz? Or how much would you have to get paid to eat your own jizz? Like if someone says, would you eat your own jizz? Or how much would you have to get paid to eat your own jizz? Like if someone says,

would you eat your own jizz? You're like, no. Would you eat your own jizz for $2 billion? Yes. 100%. Yeah. Because it wouldn't take that long.

No, it's fine. I mean, it's like Fear Factor. I mean, it's kind of like a just, you know, squeeze your nose. Can I have a Pepsi with me? Anybody that says they would never eat jizz, I would never eat my own jizz. Not even for $2 billion?

Not even for $2 billion. Well, then you're an idiot. Because what do you like working? You like doing something you don't want to do? I'd do it for $800. I mean... Yeah, that's $800 you didn't have. And how long is it going to take you?

If you do it quick and just fucking put your nose to the grindstone, you could probably lick that jizz up in a minute. Sure. One minute of suffering for $800 a minute. Less than a minute. Yeah. Oh, is this going to be like a glass of jizz video? That was Fear Factor.

Oh. Yeah, dude, I'm literally one of the only people that got fired from a job in Hollywood because people had to drink jizz. You guys drink jizz? Yeah, usually. Oh, it's horse jizz. In Hollywood, that's how you get a job. I got fired because people had to drink donkey cum.

I encouraged them. Oh, my God. Guys and girls. Now, would you rather eat donkey cum or your own cum? My own. I know what I'm eating. Donkeys are probably fucking filled up with antibiotics and crazy medications. Yeah.

Make them grow quicker or something. Who knows what the fuck they're giving those donkeys. Yeah. Monsanto corn. Your own cum is less weird than someone else's. For sure. But then you think,

I mean, again, I think this is being, are we being bad people? Because most women we know and gay men we know have eaten cum and they're very nice people. They're good for them.

Doesn't mean you have to do it. I'm not saying I have to do it. I'm saying maybe- I got vaccinated. You should get vaccinated. I'm not saying I have to do it. I'm saying maybe- I got vaccinated. You should get vaccinated. I'm not saying we have to do it. I'm saying should we be pretending it's so, not pretending, but projecting out that it's so horrible because many people do it.

No, we're stating our opinion on what it is like to us. You're allowed to not want to eat your own jizz. Good point. I just don't want to say it's gross. I don't care for it. It's gross to you. It doesn't mean it's gross to everybody. That's a good point.

Sushi is also gross to me. I was going to bring that up. There's certain types of sushi where they use semen sacks. I've had that. Semen sacks? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's certain kinds of like, there was a really high-end sushi place in LA

and they had all these wacky sushis. And one of the things they had was like, it was like fish semen sacks. Sounds like a department store, semen sacks. It does. Sounds like something that would be smash and grabbed. You'd see one of those Instagram videos of dudes with masks on running out with purses and shit.

Yeah. Yeah, what is it? See if you can find what that is. Shirako. I should ask Philip, Philip Franklin Lee. It's called Shirako. It's popular in Japan. Yeah, there it is.

Okay. I consider myself a pretty adventurous eater. Yeah, it's just a story about eating it. I don't know if that's important. Yeah. Does it say exactly what it is? Yeah, yeah. Does it describe it?

Yeah. Fish sperm. Yeah. It's the milt. The milt or sperm sacks of male cod. It's served both raw and cooked form in restaurants all over Japan. Yeah. I had that. That's not my scene. Firm sacks of male cod served both raw and cooked form in restaurants all over Japan. Yeah, I had that.

That's not my scene. I've had whale. I've had whale and deer and sushi, but never cum. You compared whale to deer? That's hilarious. Well, I'm saying those are unusual foods that don't get eaten that often. Deer's pretty usual. Venison?

No, not in America. What? I mean, you eat it, right? But that's not like, if you go to fucking- There's a lot of restaurants that serve wild game. Yeah. Elk tenderloin, you've never seen that on a menu at a restaurant? I'm not saying I've never seen it, but they don't have it at Burger King. They don't have it at Chili.

You go to the Outback, they're not going to be like, do you want deer? They used to have it at Arby's. Is that right? Yeah, Arby's had a venison sandwich. We have the meat. Right. But it's rarer than a cheeseburger or a steak. They had that, right? Didn't Arby's had a venison sandwich. We have the meat. Right. But it's rarer than a cheeseburger or a steak. They had that, right?

Didn't Arby's have a venison sandwich? I'm not imagining that, right? This could be your dancing mustache guy. Didn't they? Oh, yeah, okay. 2017 bringing back their popular, crazy popular venison sandwich. Yeah, there you go. Thick cut venison steak.

Hey, I could be wrong. Now they have a big game burger they've just launched. Hey, there you go. I don't think deer, whale's unusual. Yeah. Yeah.

Both were in Norway. It was reindeer. Does that make a difference? Yeah, reindeer is caribou. Okay. Yeah, it's a different animal. It's a different animal. It literally was on Santa's fucking sled.

All right, well, I had reindeer. You know what the difference between a reindeer and a caribou is? No. A reindeer is in a fenced-in area. A caribou is wild. Oh, okay. Same animal. I literally thought this was going to be like a street joke,

like a kid's popsicle stick joke. No, no, no. When they call it a reindeer, it's when they're captive. Because they can domesticate them them and they even ride them. That's fun. Yeah. There's this dude that I had on the podcast who won Alone,

Jordan Jonas, really cool guy. You ever see Alone? No, but I know about it. I just heard about it. His episode was amazing. He shot a moose with a bow and arrow and then a wolverine was stealing the moose

and he killed the wolverine with a hatchet. Holy shit. It's a crazy show but he had a massive advantage going into that show because he had spent time living with tribal people in siberia wow like he had spent time with all these folks that they ride around on these caribou or reindeer right yeah they domesticate them that's fucking crazy yeah see if you can find some of those photos like Santa like a real life Santa they also kill them and eat them you know it's kind of it's kind of interesting it's like they have this very strange relationship with them but they they revere them because it's a you know massive part of their survival but they've managed

to domesticate a deer species which I don't think there's other deer species that are domesticated like that to the point where you can ride them. It says reindeer are the only deer species to be wildly domesticated. Ah, there you go. Are there wild horses still? Yes. Like, do you go to places

and there's horses just fucking running around? Oh, yeah. Yeah, see, look at these people riding fucking caribous. No shit. Isn't that crazy? Hell yeah. So that's a, I mean, that's not even like a bred down, you know, like a husky used to be a wolf. That's an actual caribou.

And that's a big one. They can fucking feed them and you can ride them, which is crazy. And where is this? So these people heard them. This was in Siberia where he did it. I don't know where this is right here. Must be that area. Click on that big picture with the article below it.

Reindeer riders, historically semi-nomadic people in several parts of the world have domesticated reindeer. It's Mongolia. Wow. So it's in Mongolia. I know it's in Siberia. Yeah, there you go. Mongolia, Siberia, northern Europe. Perhaps in Norway.

Isn't that wild? So this dude, he lived with those folks. So that's a hard scrabble life. So he had a massive advantage being alone. And he was good with a bow and arrow. So when he killed a moose, he had food for like six months. So that's different than this naked and afraid also. Is that similar?

Yeah, that shows more exploitative. This is people with actual skills and survival, and they give them a limited number of tools. Like this guy was allowed to have a few tools. Right. You're allowed to have one of these, one of that, one of those. And then you have to build shelter,

you have to find food, you have to do all these different things. My friend, James Patterson, a comedian, he came up with a good show idea that I think is good. Don't say it on here, someone will steal it. You think? But it's already said.

We have it time stamped. Can I not say it? Because it's pretty good. Unless you want to go to court. I've credited him. And fight those weasels. No one's going to take this. Oh, this is good.

You know the End of the Wild? You know that book? Yeah. John Krakauer? My favorite book of all time. It's a good book. I love Krakauer. You ever have him on? Uh-uh. He's a fascinating book. I love Krakauer. You ever have him on?

Uh-uh. He's a fascinating guy. I've never met him, but his books are amazing. But anyways, Christopher McCandless, it turns out he was quite close to civilization or whatever. Yeah, really close. And my friend James had an idea that we should take people, put them where he was, and they have to have consensual sex with a woman within 72 hours.

So they have to get out of there. But once they're out, that's not the whole show. Then they have to shower up and hook up with a woman. God. That's pretty good. You have a survival show and a dating show combined. You know what's funny? If it was the opposite, if it was a woman and she had to have consensual sex with a man,

it's a fucking home run. But that's quite easy. Isn't that amazing? She could just, all she has to do is get out of the woods. The difference in the desirability of men versus female is quite amazing. Is it desirability or the need to fuck? Like a man

will fuck anybody. Is it because women are more desirable or is it no women are more vulnerable because if they fuck they might have to carry that guy's baby around with them so genetically they're more reluctant to breed unless they know you better unless you're right you know good point yeah but that's not a fun show I'm not saying it's the greatest show here I mean it might be fun if you hate it it's not my idea was my mean, it might be fun. If you hate it, it's not my idea. It was my friend, James. It might be fun. What was the show

MILF Manor where the ladies brought their sons and the sons banged all the other MILFs? I don't know, but I want to be part of it. I mean,

that's the show. I got to talk to my agent. Isn't that what it was called? Was it MILF Manor or MILF Island? I remember we were watching a preview before the show

actually came out and we were predicting what the fuck was going down on Milf Manor. But I never watched it. I'm about to have sex with a milf. My wife is about to be a mother, and I'm going to have sex. I haven't had sex with a mother in a long time. When is she about to pop?

Like three weeks from now. Wow. It's crazy. This is my last hoorah. I'm out there. It's all happening. You're going to love it. Yeah, my last hoorah. I'm out there. It's all happening. You're going to love it. Yeah, I'm very excited.

I think it'll be great. Yeah, you're going to love it. It's a life changer, that's for sure. Yeah, of course. Perspective enhancer. It's going to be wild. Yeah, I'm excited.

I'm looking forward to it. I think it'll be fun. You worried she's going to hear, is it a boy or a girl? It's a boy. No worries then. Yeah. It's going to be weird. I a boy or a girl? It's a boy. No worries then. It's going to be weird. The girl's hearing all your material about

you not liking your balls played with. But my son's going to hear all this. He's going to go, me too, dad. What the fuck are they doing down there? Good point. It is nice. It's weird to think of my father, if there was like

4 000 hours of my dad just talking about women he's fucked and what he'd like sexual and eating cum like yeah and whether or not you would eat cum for a million dollars i need cum for 800 i mean how crazy the idea of you hearing your parents talk about eating cum out of somebody's asshole when you're like what the fuck maybe in the future that won't be scary at all. I guess not, but it's wacky. It is wacky. And also that your son is going to be like, this is how you made a living?

And you're like, yeah, pretty good one. They might be like, wow, I don't want to work either. Do you think that it would be as easy to grow up in a loving household and be a funny comedian, though? I think it's probably doable i'm sure there are people i mean i feel like you know ted alexander you know that comedian one of the best comedians ever he's like one of my favorite comics and he seems to come from a very good home he's talked about his parents he's very family oriented and and just a community guy he seems very

normal to me and he's hilarious possible it's possible there's there's the outliers because I mean you can come from a very loving and silly family right I mean like your family was very fun and we're all together telling stories and fun and silly but the point was what I was gonna try to get to is is there any stand-up comic who had a kid that became a great stand-up comic? Oh, the kid becomes a comic. Let me think.

I think Greg Giraldo's son is doing comedy. Is he good? I've never seen him. I think he's very new. He's also probably gone through a lot of pain. Of course. It's a different thing. Yeah.

Yeah, almost like you're carrying the mantle for your father, who was a great comic. Who else is... Is that the word, carrying the mantle? Why does that sound so dumb? Right? Carrying the mantle. Something like mantelpiece. Well, you don't carry a mantle.

Mantelpiece is the place where you put the mantle. Yeah. So mantle... What is a mantle? It's like an award. Mickey Mantle. Isn't that the top? No, that's the top of the fireplace is the mantle.'s like a mickey mantle isn't that the top no that's the top of the fireplace is the mantle piece that's a metal piece yeah i think i only

just know it as the man mantle uh to hold a specific role or position along with any associated responsibilities and then what is mantle piece mean mean? Google mantelpiece. I think mantelpiece is where you showcase your mantles. I don't know. What does mantelpiece mean? I don't know mantelpiece. Isn't mantelpiece the fucking top of a chimney? You know, like a fireplace? Isn't that a mantelpiece?

I thought that was just mantle. Jamie, can you just Google mantelpiece? I don't even know how to. Right? You know how to spell it. What are you playing dumb? Mantelpiece. Yeah, so that's what it is.

So a mantelpiece is a structure, wood, marble, or stone, above or around the fireplace. You guys are acting like I'm crazy. I've never heard of it. But I think they've shown it. But how about just trust me and Google it next time instead of undermining my confidence. I was terrified that you were going to be right. No, I was more like, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be spelling peace the way I think to spell it. If it's two words.

So complicated, Jamie. How'd you get through it? I mean, I've just, but I think people shorten it to mantle. Is that what it is? When you grew up, was it mantle? I've never heard anyone call mantle peace. I've never even heard that in my life. Well, maybe it's because I did construction a lot as a kid,

but it was always Mantle Peace. I don't know. I never heard Mantle Peace either. But I'm not fighting you on it, obviously. It's a thing. You know, wood-burning stoves, wood-burning fireplaces in the house, they're fucking amazing, right?

Yeah, my parents have one. One of the worst contributors to pollution. One in the house. They're fucking amazing, right? Yeah, my parents have one. It's delightful. One of the worst contributors to pollution. One of the worst. If you're in a neighborhood and everyone has a burning fire of wood in their fucking house, it's just smoke everywhere. It's like you basically,

the town has a brush fire. But I mean, it can't be worse than a 747 flying across the neighborhood. Really? Oh mean, it can't be worse than a 747 flying across the neighborhood. Really? Oh, yeah, it's worse. Oh, yeah. Yeah, forest fires. You remember one of those forest fires in Canada?

Remember how bad New York was? Yeah, yeah. That's real bad for you. Sure. Real bad. That's smoke. Right. Burning wood smoke.

The jet is, like, up in the sky, and it's dispersed by winds. It's not good, but you're not like getting it in the face. Right. Yeah, good point. You're getting that smoke in your face, man. No, because it's going up the fucking flute and into the sky. No, it's going up like this and then it settles down everywhere.

It's like a fog in the neighborhood. That's why you smell it everywhere. It just depends on how many fireplaces you have, how close the houses are together. But I never even thought about it until like two years ago. I was reading this article about the amount of air pollution that comes from wood-burning stoves. And I think it was California that outlawed wood-burning stoves,

or wood-burning fireplaces, rather. I don't think you could build a new house with a wood-burning fireplace anymore in California. Now, what about campfires? Those must be horrible, too, right? No kidding. Terrible. Terrible. But campfires is like, there's one little fire, and it's, you know, hopefully you're

fucking smart, you know what you're doing, it's not too windy, and you know how to make it in a clearing and all that, so you don't light the fucking whole woods on fire. Right. you're doing, it's not too windy, and you know how to make it in a clearing and all that, so you don't light the fucking whole woods on fire. Right. But, yeah, it's not good. You know, the real bad thing is obviously forest fires. Forest fires, wildfires, when those things get going, like entire towns are blanketed with smoke for weeks.

Yeah, it was crazy. I mean, I was in New York earlier this summer or spring, I think it was summer, and it was fucking wild. You couldn't see the buildings. The weird thing was it was like an orange color. Yeah. Everybody was speculating. What are they burning? That was when the tinfoil hatters were talking about like there's a bunch of chemicals that were missing from some train. You know, do you know about that story? There's some toxic chemicals that were missing. Like they're burning the toxic chemicals up in Canada. No, I didn't. I don't get a lot of good conspiracy theories. How come?

Baseball talks in your head. I'm all baseball. I'm Scorsese in baseball, baby. I like to live a nice, innocent life. Good for you. Cruising along. Good for you. Writing bits, watching sports.

The sky's orange for whatever reason. Who cares? Well, because the sun is behind it. There's sun and smoke, so it makes orange. The sun's orange for whatever reason. Who cares? Well, because the sun is behind it. There's sun and smoke, so it makes orange. The sun is orange. I've colored. It's a big... I've never seen that orange. Well, it's yellow, whatever.

I've never seen forest fires that orange. The sun's not yellow, it's chicken. It's white. It's white? Bob Dylan. What is, the sun? Yeah. Yeah, it's what you're getting through the blue of the sky and all the, that's what makes it look yellow.

Well, whatever. That's another conspiracy theory. But the, that orange smoke, show me some photos of what that looks like, the smoke that was in New York City. Because it looks crazy orange. Like, almost like you're burning Cheetos. But isn't the sunset is orange? So the sun's setting and you got smoke and so it becomes orangey. Maybe, but I don't think it was during sunset

that this was happening. So what do you think? Like people ran down and threw chemicals in the fire? No, I think it might be just the, whatever the kind of wood that's burning, what kind of, you know, what's getting burnt. I don't know i don't i really have no idea all right you ever see how many fucking trees are in canada there's a lot

of trees there's like that's what it looked like some amount of billion trees so this is 1 30 p.m 145 p.m 2 p.m that's unusual dude yeah that's not just the sun That's unusual, dude. Yeah. That's not just the sun. That's unusual. Whatever the fuck that is, that's very unusual for it to look like that. Go to the last part of the frame, Jimmy. So this is what it looks like as it blows in at 11.30, 12.30,

1, 1.15, 1.30, 1.45. Like, right there. Stop at 2. Yeah, that's bad. That's not normal. No. That's a dark orange at 2 p.m., so that's not like sunset. It's weird. I mean, I don't know why that smoke is orange, but it's fucking weird.

So that's when the conspiracy theories come in. Right. I can't believe there's hundreds of thousands of gallons mixed. They're trying to poison us. Depopulation. Do you believe it? No. I don't believe it, but I don't know.

I mean, I don't know if something else burnt up there. They're not telling us about. Right. I mean, it's Canada. Yeah, you never know. Do you trust them? Who? Canadians?

I trust the people. I like hockey. I like hockey, too. I like Jim Carrey. I trust the people I like hockey I like hockey too I like Jim Carrey I like the people people are awesome yeah they're the best the people running the country that are a problem

I don't really know much about them I think we should build a wall fuck it let's do it build a wall we got a lot of wood it's all wood up there if it catches fire though it'll be like so fucking orange

just make a ditch next to the wood so the fire doesn't spread that's not bad. No, I love Canada. I looked it up one time because my father-in-law once said there must be two trillion trees in the world. What do you think the number is? In the whole world?

Yeah. Hmm. I think he went high. I believe it's less than that. I'm going to say 1.7 trillion trees. It's a total guess. I think it's in the billions. I'm going to say 1.7 trillion trees. I think it's like... It's a total guess. I think it's in the billions. I'm going to say it's like 400 billion trees.

I bet it's more than that. I think I remember. But I also thought fucking that lady had a mustache. You're both wrong. What is it? 3.04 trillion. Wow. It's more.

Oh, maybe I see. I knew he was off, but really he went low. Wow. Well, maybe when he said it, it was that number. I mean, this was like three years ago. Well, this is the thing. This is the crazy thing about this whole climate change discussion. And one of the things that people conveniently like to ignore.

This is like one of the greenest periods in recorded history. This is like one of the greenest periods in recorded history. Wouldn't you think like we're cutting down all the trees and there's less trees, there's less green than ever before? Right. No. Carbon dioxide is food for plants. Right. And there's more plants now than there have been in the last like 20 plus years. When they say the greening of earth because of climate change, Google that.

Like what percentage more green is the Earth today than 50 years ago? Is that probably because there's more rain and shit? More carbon dioxide. Right. Yeah. Literally, it's food for them. But there's huge forest fires, all these places like Greece that they didn't used to be in. Yeah, but that was man-made.

This is the other thing they keep talking about with all this climate change stuff. Yeah, there's definitely been forest fires, but a shit ton of them are man-made. A shit ton of them are accidents. The one in Hawaii, power lines fell over. A lot of it's bad maintenance. The Hawaii one's definitely bad maintenance. They didn't chop down the dry grass near the power lines. They also need to bury power lines.

That's fucking stupid. Especially in places you've got high winds, bury your fucking power lines they also need to bury power lines. That's fucking stupid Especially in places you got high winds bury your fucking power lines You know like look look what happened the United States should take care of that too by the way right and then there's also Forest management like you're supposed to go into these forests and take out all the dead wood right controlled burns and all that shit Yeah, but they have to take it out. They remove it and it's valuable They can do stuff with that wood. Right. So they need to log the dead wood out of the forest.

And they need, like, they were talking about that during the Trump administration. He was blaming some of the fires they were having in California on poor management of the forests. And then I was like, that sounds like a ridiculous thing. And I talked to a guy who actually works with wildlife biology, and he's like, it's really critical to do. Right. That's why they do control burns. That's why they do get rid of dead wood. If you don't do it, and then you have something comes in like the bark beetle, and it kills

a giant percentage of the trees. Carbon dioxide fertilization greening earth study finds. From a quarter to half of earth's vegetated lands have showed significant greening over the last 35 years largely due to the rising levels of atmospheric carbon dioxide according to a new study published in the Journal of Nature Climate Change in April of 25. of Nature Climate Change in April of 25. April 25th, rather. International team of 32 offers in 24 institutions in eight countries led the effort, which involved using satellite data

from NASA's Moderate Resolution Imaging Spectrometer. Ooh, that sounds cool. And the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's Advanced Very High Resolution Radiometer Instruments to help determine the leaf area index or amount of leaf cover over the planet's vegetated regions. The greening represents an increase in leaves on plants and trees equivalent in an area to two times the continental United States. Great. Yeah.

They don't say that. Because if they say that, then people go, well, wait, it's not better. It's not good. Shut up. Climate change is bad and you need to go electric. Are you not scared of climate change and all the high temperatures and all that shit, the storms and the thing about climate change is there's for sure humans are affecting it to deny that seems crazy we're fucking burning fossil fuels but also it's never been stable like ever in history right the history of the earth it's always done this crazy shit and there's been massive ice ages where we weren't burning nothing and then there's been like the dinosaur times where was way fucking hotter and there's been times on earth where there was no ice in the polar caps And there's been times on earth where there's way more and half of North America was covered it over a mile of ice, right? So we are right

I'm scared of ice ages dude. No, we'll be fine. Yeah Maybe but that's the thing to be scared of ice ages, dude. No, we'll be fine. Yeah, maybe. But that's the thing to be scared of. Really? Yeah, yeah. I feel like I hear a lot more concerned scientists about, you know, heat than ice. Right, because that's the subject du jour. That's the thing you worry about more than terrorism.

Right, but this isn't, I'm not talking like NBC. I'm talking like NASA fucking Stephen Hawking. I know he's dead, but, you know. I don't think he was on the climate change thing. He was. He was paying attention much more to the whole universe, I think. But he was worried about it, I think. I heard him mention it somewhere.

Well, it is a concern. Look, if the Earth gets warmer, it is a concern. But if the Earth gets cooler, it is a concern. But if the earth gets cooler, that's a concern too. It's just like life on earth is like insanely unpredictable, you know? And they definitely need to figure out what kind of effect we're having on it, but they need to be like completely honest about what they know and what the data shows and what the problem is and how to fix it. Right. For sure there's a pollution problem, for sure. Like the fact that we ignore what we're doing in the problem is and how to fix it. Right. For sure there's a pollution problem, for sure.

Like, the fact that we ignore what we're doing to the ocean is crazy. Yeah, that's what I always thought. It's like, even if you're, like, not concerned with climate change, it's like, well, aren't you interested in making the air cleaner and the water? I mean, shouldn't we have a cleaner place to live? 100%. That should be everybody's concern like to eliminate pollution but yeah i was my buddy lives in um in seattle and there was at one point they have this huge

park i have many huge parks there but there was one park in particular lincoln park and they were gonna cut down like 80 trees and all these environmentalist people were going crazy and like stop it and they were chaining themselves and they were like no no we're we're forest people we need to get rid of these for whatever reason that's beyond me but they were like there's 7 000 trees in this park we're getting rid of 80 because they're whatever problematic i don't know the science behind it they're like we're not building a parking lot we're not just chopping down and building a skyscraper like we know what we're doing meanwhile these idiots are gluing their hands to monkey bars. Yeah. All those guys at the US

Open, they glued his feet. Did you see that guy? You see the guy who did it on a Formula 1 track? No. He glued his hand to the ground to the track to stop the race. And they just ripped his hand off the fucking concrete. They couldn't do it. And then this guy just grabs him and rips his hand off. And you see the guy like,

It's like a Home Alone fucking trick. No, I haven't seen it, but it's like we're talking about earlier It is people that think they're doing the right thing, but they're really just losing people from the cause Right, you're like well. Why are you interrupting my fucking tennis match makes me want to go spray fucking hair They let my car run all night. Well. They're just people that this is their quest You know this is the thing that gives them value this is a thing that makes them feel like they're they're useful in the world right to run out onto the tennis court and stop the match because we've got a climate change yeah they're just crazy people man and they're they're co-opted by this movement it's also funny cuz the US

Open is like 80% people take the 7 there. It's actually quite a green event. Yeah. And all the people that are green activists flew there in a private jet. Right. It's all bonkers. But they think they're helping. Yeah. They asked Bill Gates about that.

I think the overall good that I do is okay that I drive a private jet. Right. The overall good that I do for climate change. You're very good at impressions and voices. You don't get enough credit. You had a good Trump earlier. You did some other British voice. They're just half decent.

I can only do a few voices legitimately. I don't have a good range. I can do Yoda. Yoda. Hope you can. Whoa. I can do that one. Holy shit. You're just sitting on this talent? Yeah, that one's easy. And Miss Piggy. If you can do Yoda, you can do Yoda. Yoda. Hope you can. Whoa. I can do that one. Holy shit, you're just sitting on this talent?

Yeah, that one's easy. And Miss Piggy. If you can do Yoda, you can do Miss Piggy. Similar. Frank Oz. Piggy. Gurbity frog. This is very impressive.

You got a Chewbacca? Gurbity. I mean, this is unbelievable. Chewbacca's an easy one, though. I mean, this is unbelievable. Chewbacca's an easy one, though. Chewbacca was the most preposterous creature in all of Star Wars. Because here you got this giant monkey thing with fur covering over his dick.

Like, why is he... No furry thing has fur covering its dick. But he conveniently is dickless. Also, he's got no pants on, and he's got the hairiest ass of all time. How does he shit, and how does he wash it off, and how does he take that bare ass and sit down in the cockpit? That's a good point.

He should have a pair of shorts. He should have a diaper on. He can't even talk. What is he? He's a Wookiee. He's a Wookiee, right? He's a big Wookiee. Where's his shit?

Where are they storing it? Does he use the regular bathroom on the fucking millennium? Wow, it's a 90-minute movie. You can't have a shit thing. Wait, I want answers, though. What if you're sitting on that fucking same seat that Chewbacca was just on with his crusty ass? I wouldn't like that. My buddy just had another, my friend Matt Wayne, who I mentioned earlier, had another point.

He has bullets across his chest. Like he's got- A bandolier. He's got like shotgun shells. Why does he have a gun? It's a bandolier. So it's a thing that contains cartridges. If you look at the bandolier, they're cartridges for his rifle.

But it's laser- It's a laser rifle. They're all shooting lasers. Yeah, but- No one else has cartridges. It probably has power for the- It's a good point. Yeah, no one else has that.

But they have pistols, and doesn't he have a rifle? They have pistols, but they're like... Yeah, he has a rifle. So those things are cartridges. They look like cartridges to me. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. They're different.

So that one on your right, Jamie, that looks like a costume that you buy. That looks fake. What is that? Yeah. Maybe he wears a costume that you buy. That looks fake. What is that? Yeah. Maybe he wears different stuff in different movies. Yeah, maybe he doesn't have bullets. Because that's what it looks like to me. The flat things is what it looks like to me.

Yeah. Maybe it's a bad point. He's got a crossbow? That's ridiculous. No, this is too modern. That's not Chewbacca. He's got a mustache. That looks like AI stuff.

Yes, it does. That looks like AI stuff. Did he it does. That looks like AI stuff. Did he have a kind of a crossbow? Now I'm thinking he kind of did. No, he didn't have a crossbow. I think he kind of did. I think he got a crossbow that shot lasers. Get the hell out of here.

He didn't have a crossbow. Yeah, no, I think he did. A bowcaster. What? A bowcaster, yeah. So it didn't pull back like a bow, but there was something. He didn't have to reload it with every shot. But I think, what did it do?

Yeah, see? He had a fucking crossbow. No, none of these are in the movie. Yes, it is. He's in Michigan right there. This house is back there. They're ice fishing. That's a toy. They're ice fishing. A bowcaster combines traditional craftsmanship

with galactic technology. Oh, see. There you go. Firing metal coral encased in plasma energy. Yeah. It does say it appears in Star Wars 4. So that's why he's got those things around his waist, or his shoulders, rather. It's all been thought through.

Yeah. The first movies, man, were fucking amazing. When I was a kid, when Star Wars came out, I think we saw it like 13 times. It was a thing with me and my friends. Like, how many times can you see Star Wars? Scrape up some money, go see Star Wars. The Return of the Jedi is really silly.

I don't remember. The Wookiees beat the fucking Imperial Army with rocks and stuff they're like throwing sticks at them and they're like the ewoks yeah the ewoks yeah the ewoks they're the cute wookies yeah it was really silly they're like rolling logs and the fuck yeah the the they're all emperor whatever the fuck you call it did you like avatar i hated avatar really. I just thought it was so heavy handed and I'm not a big cartoony, well, purple things,

blue people, blue people. And it just felt very like we're fighting the war for the thing under the ground, which, you know, I'm, I was against Iraq war,

but I was, it felt so like, yeah, the war. I loved it. Me too. I like whatever you like. I like, ugh. Yeah. The war. I loved it. Me too. I like whatever you like, I like.

No, I mean. I know that, but that's a suspension of disbelief and it's a comic book movie essentially. Yeah, I'm just not, that's not my scene. I love comic book movies. I love like the Avengers

and the Hulk and Spider-Man and all that stuff. They're fun. But I grew up as a kid reading comic books. Right. So when they became legitimate, like when I was a kid

I was really into comic books and the only thing you get was like the spider-man cartoon on TV. There was no like real There was the Incredible Hulk when it became a TV show later But there was nothing like the Avengers. There's no like these movies There was only Superman and Superman to me was like DC Comics and DC Comics were like back before you know there was a typewriter there was something about the their superheroes they just didn't appeal to me they there were more like 1950s superheroes whereas the the Marvel comics to me where they were like way more complex way like like phoenix from the x-men like she was basically a god and there was just there was like so many inches like dr doom and fucking uh

dr strange the silver surfer they were cool yeah there were different kinds of superheroes i get it you know yeah you were a gay kid that That's cool. That's cool. You changed and you evolved. I like the Christopher Nolan Batmans. Those were fun. I like those a lot. Who's your favorite Batman? Who's the best Batman? I really like Christian

Bale. I mean, I love Keaton. I mean, I grew up with Keaton. That was exciting, but Christian Bale, I really He's the most believable Batman. Yeah, he's just a world-class actor. And I liked his fucking Batman voice. His Batman voice. But he's also jacked. He was the first Batman to be jacked.

Yeah, no, he's great. And those fucking movies rule. I was just talking about, I just re-watched Dark Knight on the plane. And Heath Ledger is like unrecognizable in that movie. And he's so good that he actually feels like, because you can't see any Heath Ledger in him Yeah, it feels like that's a fucking weird entity thing

Yeah, like the bat the Tim Burton one you're like Oh, there's Jack Nicholson with makeup on right the Heath Ledger one. It feels like a fucking weird guy Joaquin Phoenix is the scariest one because that one is the most realistic the most probable Yeah, even the weird thing is like when that movie came out it was before society fell apart right and then that movie showed like this ultimate collapse of society the rebellion of the underclass taking things down and burning to the ground this one fucking maniac leading the charge is very antifa right right and then all that stuff started happening during the george floyd riots and the chaos in the streets and when

bricks would just show up on the corner of streets and people would be throwing them through windows and the cops would stand by what people are looting things we'd never seen in our life it was very Joker esque and that dude was an amazing Joker he looked fucking insane in that movie, he's another just fucking incredible actor. But there's like three Jokers now right now. There's like the Joaquin Joker. Jared Leto. Jared Leto.

And then there's the new one. There's a new one? The Batman. The last scene. Who's the new Joker? That actor who's great. He's in Killing of a Sacred Deer. Which fucking rules.

Yeah, they're all. I forget his name. That's the most complex character, is the Heath Ledger Joker and the Joaquin Joker. Those are the... I mean, those are wild. Who's that guy? What's his name?

He's fantastic. Can we see this? I haven't seen this. It's a deleted scene. It says... I want your respect. I think it's a deleted scene. Who's the Batman here?

Robert Pattinson. Oh, that's right. It's a long scene. Curious. You think I go off on this stuff, don't you? It's a long scene. You're dangerous. They barely show his face. I think they're saving him for the second movie. Oh, interesting. Because they just tease it at the end of the first one.

Oh, interesting. Oh, that's fun. It looks good. I like it. What's that actor's name? I will look him. He's really good. Do you ever get into those Yorgos movies, Killing of a Sacred Deer?

No. Oh, you got to check it out. He's a Greek filmmaker. I don't know how to say his last name. Yorgos something. Do I have to read? You going to make me read? No, no.

I mean, he has a movie called Dog Tooth that's amazing, and that is in Greek. You'd have to read that one. But Killing of a Sacred Deer is Nicole Kidman and Colin Farrell. It's fucking great. Really? Like 2015, 2016 maybe? I've never heard of it. I'm going to write it down so I watch it. I'm always looking forward to starting to watch. You'd love it. It's a real

Alicia Silverstone is in it. Killing of a Sacred Deer. Yeah, it's really fucked up. It's kind of funny. Yeah, that's the kid who's also the Joker. I think his name's Barry Keegan. I just saw it for a second. He's really good.

But it's a really fucked up, disturbing movie. This guy Yorgos makes these really disturbing movies. That's amazing. I never even heard of it. Oh, it's awesome. Yeah, highly recommend. That's a fun poster. Yeah, check it out.

I don't know how to say his name. Lan Themos. He's got a new movie coming out with Emma Stone. That's a fun poster. Yeah, check it out. I don't know how to say his name. Lan Themos. He's got a new movie coming out with Emma Stone. You're a real movie buff, huh? I mean, I'm a lover of movies. I don't know. I don't know if I'm a buff. Do you find yourself wanting to create your own?

Yeah. I mean, I did the movie with Louis. Right, but I mean, from scratch? Yeah, definitely. I want to do more. I'm making a documentary right now about a comedian

named Tom Dustin, a buddy of mine that we're almost finished with. In fact, I wanted to ask you, I asked Jamie earlier, there's like a four second clip.

He runs a club in Key West. I think Ari talked about it here and we have a clip from this show that's like four seconds. It's literally just you saying, is there a club in Key West? And Ari's like,

yeah, it's a small club. Yeah, I know Tom Rhodes worked there. I was following him on Instagram and I saw he in Key West? And Ari's like, yeah, it's a small club. Yeah, I know Tom Rhodes worked there. I was following him on Instagram, and I saw he was at Key West. I was like, oh, that looks like a fun place to go to. Yeah, it's fucking great. And my buddy Tom Dustin, we started together in Boston,

and we were drunk and wild. And I kind of got sober and went to New York, and then he kept drinking and went to Key West. And it's kind of the story of our little paths, and he's just a hilarious, amazing comedian. And he owns the club? He co-owns the club and runs it. He emcees and books it, and he's living the Key West life.

I like that. He's a fascinating guy, and he's fucking hilarious. There's a bunch of stand-up in it and great stories. How often do they have to evacuate? I don't think that often. Really? No, I don't think they've evacuated in a long time. Hurricanes don't get them? They do, but not that often.

Every few years, I think. I think they just wait out the storms. They have weird rules. They can't build high-rises there and all that shit, but... Can they make hurricane-proof houses? Every six years. Yeah, there you go. It's been a while. Can you show me the clip? We'll end with that.

Show me the clip from this documentary you're doing. I haven't. I don't. You don't have it? I don't have it. Yeah, shit. It's on my phone. I should have sent it ahead.

I fucked up. It's on your phone? Yeah. Yeah, send it to Jamie. If you can, can you drop it to me? Is it a link? Let me see. Oh, God.

I should have done this before. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. If it takes too long, we'll just edit it. I fucked up. Don't sweat it at all. Let me see if't worry about it. Don't worry about it. If it takes too long, we'll just edit it. I fucked up. Don't sweat it at all. Let me see if I can find it. While you're doing this,

let me just tell you how much fun it's been having you in town. Oh, man. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. It's cool. One of the cool things

about the Comedy Mothership is when people come through and hang out for a few days. It's just like every week. And these comics that are coming up, they all get exposed to all these brilliant, like Colin was just here, and all the, I didn't get a chance to see him, I was too busy.

But all the comics were here, was just raving about how great he was, and how much fun it was. And they said it was a master class. They said he's just brilliant on stage. Well, Colin's the fuckin' best. He's so underrated. It's like him and Attell are so brilliant,

but yet do not promote themselves at all. Yeah, I think he's getting better at it, but yeah, he's truly a genius. And that's a guy that's just always giving and always so thoughtful, always takes calls from comics. Colin? Yeah.

He's a sweetheart. He's always been a sweetheart. You know, in that show that he did, Tough Crowd was really essentially one of, that was one of the beginnings of podcasting as well. There's a few beginnings of podcasting, like the way we do it. You do it, I do it, and, you know, like all of our friends, you know, whether it's Legion of Skanks or Ari, it's just shit talking. Guys getting together and fucking around and hanging out.

And that was what Tough Crowd was. You had a bunch of comics together, and they would all start fucking with each other and roasting and Patrice and Norton. It was awesome. I loved it. I did it a couple of times, but every time I did it, I was like,

God, I love this. It's like a fucking amazing green room where there's cameras on you, and you're all just hanging out. Yeah, Colin really loves comics and the comic hang more than anybody. fucking amazing green room where there's cameras on you and you're all just hanging out yeah colin really loves comics and the comic hang more than anybody i mean he just is he's pure and they really love him this is the thing like nobody hates colin no have you ever heard anybody say a bad thing about colin quinn i literally have not never no never but he's underrated. And I think when someone's that underrated, it's up to us to say, if you have a chance, go see that guy.

Again, I've seen him in the past. He's fucking brilliant. I haven't seen his new set that he's doing. But everybody that was at the club was universally ramped. My friend Ahsan. You met Ahsan last time. Yeah, yeah. He's hilarious.

He's hilarious. And he's a guy that's been beautiful watching him grow. Because I met him when he was just starting out at the comedy store. And then all of a sudden he's hilarious. He's hilarious. And he's a guy that's been, it's been beautiful watching him grow. Because I met him when he was just starting out at the comedy store. And then all of a sudden he's in LA, and all of a sudden he's, you know, working, getting up in LA, and then he moves to Austin.

And now he's getting up multiple times a night. Like, he's constantly getting up. Because there's shows everywhere. There's shows all over the place out here. Yeah. It's so, it's amazing watching people grow. And he said that when he saw Colin, he said it might be one of the best hours

he's ever seen in his life. Yeah, no, Colin just keeps getting better. It's really unbelievable. I just did a, I'm going to throw another plug out there. I have a podcast, Mindful Metal Jacket. I just had him on it. And I was asking him,

he's gotten so much more. What is your podcast called? It's called Mindful Metal Jacket. Oh. And it's a, I'm bad at naming things. No, that's a good name. But I just had him on and we just talked about how, what a creative outburst he's had in

the last 10, 15 years. What does he attribute it to? He just said he started organizing better, like really organizing his stuff and working towards having like, all right, this special is going to be about this thing and just organizing his material. Well, he does kind of one-man show type specials, but with brilliant stand-up. Yes.

Like it's like really funny bits that are all organized on themes. Yeah. No, he's just a brilliant guy and just the best guy offstage. Just super nice guy. But that's the thing. It's like he doesn't have any desire to be any bigger. No, I don't think so. All he's doing is just working on great work.

But that's also why his work is so great. It's because he's just concentrating on that. Which I think is awesome. That's like the most important part. I can't figure out how to say this. Eh. Don't worry about it. I was so excited to show it. Send it to me later and I'll throw it up on Instagram. Okay, yeah. It's gonna be great though. Alright. Joe List, you're the shit. Don't worry about it I was so excited to show it Send it to me later And I'll throw it up on Instagram Okay yeah

It's gonna be It's gonna be great though Alright Joe List you're the shit Appreciate you Thank you Can I throw my special out there Yes please

Also brand new special Enough for everybody It's on YouTube And I got fucking demonetized For saying cunt Let's fucking go Alright Social media

All that stuff What is it At Joe List comedy And then YouTube I got three specials on YouTube Three hours and three and a half years. And go see him live. Very, very funny.

Where are you going to be live next? Skank Fest. Helium. I'm at Skank Fest. I'm flying straight to Skank Fest now. I literally have my bags with me. And then next weekend, Helium. October 5th through the 7th in Philadelphia.

Oh, that's a great room. Yeah. That's one of my favorite rooms of all time. Yeah, I'm pumped. I love the city. Such a good room. I love the room. And it's mostly sold, so.

You know what's a great room? Yeah, get in there. You know what else is a great room? Portland. Portland Helium. Yeah, I was just there. Oh, it'm pumped. I love the city. I love the room. And it's mostly sold, so act fast. Yeah, get in there. You know what else is a great room? Portland. Portland, yeah. Yeah, I was just there. Oh, it's great. Probably real good now.

It's like doing stand-up in a war zone. It's fucking weird. I went with a buddy who's from Portland. He took me to the neighborhoods that are still normal, because we're losing that city. It's bad. It's crazy. All right. Thank you, Joe.

Thank you. Bye, everybody.