The Joe Rogan Experience - #206 - Eddie Bravo

Episode Date: April 17, 2012

Joe sits down with Eddie Bravo.

Showing my day, Joe Rogan podcast my night, all day. People hear it. I mean, it did, see, it's an illusion. It did start, but yet it didn't start. It doesn't officially start until the music starts. But all that other stuff was recorded and broadcast, so it did start. You guys do it like a professional radio show. You got an intro.

That's right, Eddie. You know why? Because I wanted people, if someone ever wanted to edit it I wanted to make it as easy as possible take out with the advertisements are but I also wanted to make the advertisements as organic as possible without sounding like too much of a queen mushroom dog what is the idea mushroom head you know what i don't get the dog the dog part of it just is it's like you want to you want to flock like a vicious dog come on oh that's mushroom dog mushroom dog right you make me feel like a like a wolf like dog with a giant boner as the logo well you know they used to say

that that's what the vikings that the vikings used to take mushrooms and i think it was the amanita muscaria it was i think that's the mushroom they were supposedly taken and they would uh they would go into berserker mode they would get fucked up on mushrooms before they would go and jack people you know i mean is there a mushroom that enhances sexual performance i mean don't the mushroom experts say that being on mushrooms makes you sexual the times i've been on mushrooms i definitely was sexual you want to massage and you right sex feels awesome yeah definitely yeah i agree with that so in in terms of like how it feels yeah like marijuana too i mean especially

when you eat it god damn man if you and your lady eat like a little pop brownie together and you chill together for an hour and wait until it kicks in, you're going to have some intense sex. It's almost like a psychedelic experience, man. It gets dark. I think that most things that are as far as feel and sensualual things like music and stuff along those lines most of those things are accentuated by marijuana absolutely right of course you're the you're the first person that introduced me to marijuana for people don't even know eddie bravo back in the day got me high and then we had ice cream sundaes it was the greatest

experience of my life you know because when i started smoking weed everyone thought i was fucking crazy at the gym at jujitsu i was a purple belt when i started and i just became a hemp activist trying to you know uh preach the truth about weed and everyone thought i was crazy and then i thought man if i can get joe joe's smart. Everybody listens to him. If I can just get Joe high and his, you know, I knew for sure your comedy would just fucking just sprout. I knew I was a million percent sure.

I just had to talk you into it and you weren't easy. It took a couple months of sitting down and talking to you. You were like, you know, you were like me. I was like, I was not into it at all up until I was 28. I thought I made you fucking stupid.

I thought I turned you into a loser. I don't think it took that long for me to do it, dude. I don't really remember. I remember one time I was on the 101 freeway going over Lancashire and I had you.

We couldn't just start talking about weed all the time. I would seem like a fucking, just some insane dude if I just brought up weed. My mission was to, I just had to sprinkle it in sometimes in our conversation. And then I

had you, I was talking I was on the freeway and I didn't want to go over the pass and lose you. It was such an important call that I pulled over on the freeway to finish my point. Some story, some analogy, some weed analogy, some historical facts, you know, some shit that I was reading

from Jack Herrera's book I had that shit memorized I would I would I would Xerox the chapters and have make copies of the chapters

and I'd be at Jiu Jitsu and just handing them to these I couldn't hand them books I was a brokester that's right I remember this I would pass out pamphlets of all

I would just Xerox shit from Jack Herrera's book people thought I was nuts they thought I was crazy. It's really funny. That's so funny, man. You're that guy. You're that guy at the locker room handing out leaflets.

But hey, man, that's what you had to do before the internet, man. That's what I was doing, man. That's what you had to do. I just wanted to... Dude, you were the internet. You were a human internet. Yeah, once people started to think I was crazy, that just drove me. Now I got approved to these motherfuckers that I'm...

So I would bring in pamphlets I could just read that just as well fucking page and if you want read the second page and then people it was making sense to a lot of people but still, you know, most people like myself were totally afraid of it and And then when I started hanging out with Joe It was it was that I heard about you training I heard that was an actor guy training at the gym. It was before Fear Factor. It was during news radio.

And so I was like, yeah, there's an actor, dude. He's on NBC. He trains at night or whatever. And I was training during the day. And I ran into you once or twice and go, oh, that's that actor, dude. Never watched news radio. But I saw you at the comedy store. I loved going to the comedy store.

And I was there with some chick. And I'm like, that's that dude that trains at my school, the celebrity dude. And then you got off stage. I'm like, hey, dude, I train in jiu-jitsu. You remember me? And you're like, oh, shit, you're at the Machados. And we just started talking there. One time, Eddie thought that someone was fucking with him at a diner,

because Eddie couldn't. You didn't have your contacts on. Yes, I didn't have my contacts on. It's nighttime. I was kind of a little tipsy yeah and and you actually recognized me and i didn't recognize you right yeah i was i was uh outside of your range of vision and you're like oh dude i can't see shit outside how bad is your vision if you don't have contacts on um it's not that bad it's i just if i if i'm like 10 yards away from you

you start getting a little fuzzy do I look like a pretty girl right now huh do I look like a pretty girl right now well maybe out of my contacts maybe I maybe I

it was at Mel's Diner yeah I was at Mel's Diner and I was walking I thought you were like hitting on the chick or something right but you weren't I don't

I don't know what you thought I think you thought I was fucking with you I think you thought I was fucking with you I don't I don't remember what it was I was i was just i don't remember what i said i was just like yo eddie yo eddie and for whatever reason like your brain misinterpreted that as someone fucking with you and you're like oh hey dude oh damn yeah i could have swore it was you saying

that you couldn't see that good yeah i couldn't see that good? Yeah, I couldn't see that good. And I actually thought you were fucking with me or I don't know what it was. Dude, that could not see that good. That trips me the fuck out because my eyes are going, man. And I barely knew you. I barely knew you. I didn't watch news radio. There's a lot of dudes that go to the gym. I met you once or twice.

I was probably faded. And someone's calling me and i'm like i don't know what the fuck's going on but then you were taking privates from silvio at the time remember yes you were only doing privates in the beginning you weren't rolling you thought you were doing the best shit right yeah i was only rolling with him and then you guys were like on an off hour you invited me one time. Remember? Yeah.

He was giving you a private, and you invited me to come down to roll too. Yeah, Eddie came down and stoned and strangled me. It was so high. I could totally tell you that. I remember that too. I got you in a twister too.

Oh, dude, you got me in everything. I think I just got you once. I think you got me a couple times. I think it was more than once. I think it was like twice. I was just a purple belt. Yeah. I wasn't that good, and you came in strong. I think you got me a couple times. I think it was more than once. I think it was like twice. I was just a purple belt.

Yeah. I wasn't that good. And you came in strong. I didn't know what you were doing. I had no idea what you were doing. When you went for that twister roll, dude, I was so lost. That's when we started training together. That was so fucking long ago.

Long time ago, man. And then we ran into each other in 97 in Louisiana. Yeah, at a UFC. You were with Ricky Rocket. Yeah, I was with Ricky Rocket, drummer for Poison. I just recently met him. We were... I don't think I...

Did I meet him back then? I don't know if I met him back then. I don't know. I might have met him back then, but I recently met him at the Hard Rock. He's a black belt Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. The drummer of Poison. All that makeup, all that hair. Yeah, Machado lineage.

Yeah, he's a hardcore martial artist. He was way into Jeet Kune Do as well and weapons and shit like that. Before Jiu Jitsu blew up, he was already into Kung Fu and shit. Right. And he just jumped on Jiu Jitsu because he's smart. I love when people get into it. What's his name? Jonathan Lipnicki?

Is that his name? The young kid who was an actor. Was he from Jerry Maguire? Yeah. Yeah, that young kid from Jerry Maguire is really good, apparently. Apparently, Heffron rolls with him. He strangles Heffron.

That's crazy. Isn't that awesome? Yeah. I love hearing shit like that, man. That is crazy, though, right? Dude, it's one of the coolest things that I hear when we go on the road, when we do comedy shows,

is how many people come up to me after the show and tell me that they started doing jujitsu after they listened to the podcast and it those changes in life i get those tweets all the time and they always tag you and i'm sure you say yeah yeah all the time all the time and i meet those folks when i do comedy shows man this uh this past weekend fort lauderdale i met a gang of dudes that were talking to me about jujitsu a gang of dudes that had hadn't done jujitsu until they listened to the podcast but just one after the other would come and tell me that, which is awesome, man.

You hear shit like that. Isn't it crazy? It's awesome. The drummer for Poison is a bad motherfucker. He'll strangle people. Yeah. It's crazy, right? Fuck yeah.

Nobody wore more makeup than Poison, but that dude will fuck you up with weapons, with kung fu, with jujitsu. fuck you up with weapons, with kung fu, with jiu-jitsu. No one ever really gave a fuck about the dudes in the crazy hair and makeup doing that because everybody knew

they were doing that because they were rock stars and they got insane amounts of pussy. It's like, it was never even, I mean, even if you were like, oh,

look at what they're doing. And Ogie, you're wearing crazy lipstick and crazy makeup. They got so much pussy, you couldn't say shit. Yeah. That's basically, the more feminine they go, they're going got so much pussy you couldn't say shit yeah i mean like that's basically the more feminine they go they're going the more pussy you get the more

you could dress like a chick because no one can say shit yeah man if you had 50 hot chicks around you you could just start sucking a dick and you'd be fine you got all these chicks i don't know about that i don't know about that i think you would lose a lot of people with that i don't know about that. I don't know about that. I think you would lose a lot of people with that. I don't know. I don't know. Everyone, you know what? There's rumors about David Bowie, and you hear those Mick Jagger rumors. What do you think that is, man?

With the Rod Stewart. But here's the thing. And we don't care. It's just like that Richard Gere gerbil rumor. You've got to wonder, how easy was it to spread a rumor back then? I mean, did Mick Jagger and David Bowie really go to bed? Really? That's a serious rumor.

Yeah, it's an incredible rumor. The gerbil rumor. Remember that? I think it was one of the wives said it, though, that she walked in on them, which is always like, what? I would bet for that. I think the rumors, I think back then, the internet was the tabloids.

That's it. Right. There's newspapers you see at the store. Everyone goes to Rite Aid. Right. Everyone goes to a drugstore. Everyone goes to the airport. Yep.

Yeah. And you see, yeah, those are like those crazy sites. You can get that shit out real quick. Remember, it's like extra, extra. Read all about it. Yeah. If you made the front page of some newspaper, back then, everybody read the newspaper. When was the last time you read a newspaper i've rarely read news when i go to starbucks i'll read the cover i'll read the cover at starbucks that's it i ain't going through that

shit i'll do it if i'm on the road by myself and i'm really fucking bored i'll get the new york times i'll get the new york times and i'll go through that thing i never look at the newspaper i probably should but it's like man i don't i don't know it's outdated newspapers are outdated you already know all this shit in a newspaper like 12 hours before you see it in a newspaper yeah it really is an ineffective way of doing it that's why you're hurting that's why new york times on the ipad is is probably going to one day be more popular than the regular New York Times. For sure. See, what's really important, though, real journalism is really important, but it's real scary, and it's really dangerous. Like, for someone to really dig deep, like, Matt Taibbi style into the inner workings of the government and corruption, Goldman sachs and all that shit dude that's terrifying

with that that kind of shit that's we need a lot of that there's a lot of chaos and corruption going on and it just seems every year like it's like more and more just a part of the way we just accept the the the this life how this life is set up. We don't even... No one's going to do anything about it. No one's doing shit about it. Nothing. Just the way it runs, man. It's not going to go...

It's going to take a lot to shift the power back to the people. It's going to take fucking a miracle, man. It's amazing, isn't it? I mean, the situation that we're in right now is amazing because this is the first time where people have really kind of truly been aware of how the whole system runs. And you look at all these different National Defense Authorization Act

and this new one that doesn't allow you to do any protests where there's Secret Service anywhere nearby. You can get arrested. It's a felony, which means you can go to jail for over a year for protesting which is supposed to be a part of our constitutional rights the right to protest but they just recently passed a law obama signed it that if you protest in front of secret service agents while secret service agents are protecting someone it could be a candidate it could be a journalist someone who works for the White House. Whoever the fuck the secret service is protecting,

if you are protesting in front of them, that's a felony. That's crazy. That's like communist Cuba type shit. It doesn't shock me. That just makes fucking sense. The way the presidency is turning out, it's for a million percent Obama's going to win again.

For sure he's going to win. There's no way. He's gotten so much done for fucking big business. There's no way he's not going to win. Mitt Romney, he's got YouTube videos where they show him lying back and forth. Evidence in your face. Him flip

flopping. It's just busted out. He's caught lying so many times. And he's the dude who's going to go against Obama? They want Obama back in. Obama is staying. This shit's set up. No way, Mitt Romney. I think all the other ones just aren't that good.

Yeah, you say that, though. But you know how many old, racist, white people are just so looking to get a white guy back in power, and especially a white Republican to straighten things out. Regular people. And if Mitt Romney flip-flops, that's all well and good, as long as people accept him and like him enough so they can get him to be their puppet, because that's all they're looking for. They're looking to get a puppet in place. I don't think regular people are going to mind nearly as much as you think you know what who knows what the fuck is happening that's just my guess my guess is my guess is a million percent obama's gonna win it looks like he's being set up to win he's just he just looks

like so powerful right now i think it's roseanne bar jesus christ that guy's a joke roseanne bar why why do you say she's up, she's trying to be president. Is she really? Yeah. Wow. Like, she was in this place at 8 the other day. The waitress had this badge on it that says, Roseanne Barr for president. And I was like, why do you have that?

She goes, oh, she's running for president. And she was here like an hour ago. Well, I'll tell you what, dude. She for sure could be governor. You know, if she wanted to start off as governor and work her way up to president, if there's any woman who I think might be able to do something like that, she could do it. Roseanne's a powerful woman.

You know what I mean? Right. That's a badass bitch. I mean, Roseanne Barr was a killer stand-up comedian. She was a killer, man, back in the day. You know? That's crazy. She even looks like presidential look at

that picture yeah i'll tell you what dude she's fucking smart man read her tweets yeah she says some smart shit she's cool she's you know she's she's obviously crazy she's a comedian we're all crazy crazy in bed whoa brian you think yeah why don't you ask tom arnold oh burn when you're a dude like tom arnold that that's a that's a tricky situation there's so obviously he's a talented guy i mean tom arnold i like tom arnold i've been on that best damn sports show with him he's a very nice guy and obviously talented he's really funny in that movie he did with arnold schwarzenegger but when you're a dude and you're married to one of those super powerful women like man, that's got to be a weird spot. He seems like he would give me heart palpitations just being around him.

Really? He just seems too intense and fast. I don't know. I don't know. He was cool. I liked him. But that's a tough spot, being married to the superwoman. It's hard.

Good luck with that. Good luck with that. they're like like a really quiet personal trainer type dude so dude who gets like really good massages who can eat her box did you hear about all those hookers what the the hookers in new york city or the colombian secret service yeah yeah yeah they were awesome the secret Service were in a brothel in Columbia, and apparently one of the Secret Service guys refused to pay, and it became like this big thing where they brought in the police, because you can't just do that. And so this is their story.

Who knows what really happened. But apparently the Secret Service was just going at it in Columbia. Yeah, they went there like a week early and just getting wasted and girls and i guess there's up to like 15 girls that that checked in how does this story ever get out well this seems to me like who the how could anybody mismanaged something like this to the point where they let this story get out well because there's so many people involved every time a hook the hookers are i think legal there's so many people involved. Every time a hooker, the hookers are, I think, legal there. Right. So they work these things with the hotels for security reasons.

Like if you're going to be coming in the hotel to be a hooker, then you have to leave your ID at the front desk. And so it's kind of like on paperwork. Like it's legal, it's tolerated, but there's also trails for everything. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. So, well, we don't know what happened but apparently she said that he didn't want to pay that's what she said uh i i don't know i think

that's what it is like something happened up there that part you know it's so what is it so shocking the secret service guys would like some sex yeah they're big brawny men that are uh assigned to protect one of the most powerful people on the planet. Can't they get a little sex? Is that okay? But you know what's crazy is that these hookers. No guys hating. These hookers were allowed inside their hotel rooms where they had itineraries for what Obama's schedule was while he's going to be visiting and stuff like that.

Like insane shit. Like sloppy shit. That's really fucked up. Are you sure about that? Yeah. Yeah. Heard it on howard today oh okay i don't know i think i reserve judgment until i know anything i don't know what really happened who knows you know when when someone says as long as they're a single you know what

i mean who cares yeah well i don't what is the all the uh you know it was um well someone said that he didn't pay. That was like the big dispute, right? Or something happened. Something happened. Or someone. Which is crazy because. I would like to know exactly what went down word for word.

Like, you know what I mean? Because wait a minute. I didn't fuck you in your ass. Why you charged me 300? It did not put it in your ass. I did not put it in your ass. This is, call your manager. Call him.

Call him. Call your manager. You know who the fuck I am? I'm Secret Service, bitch. Whoa. Do you think that's how they roll? Could you imagine? That'd be crazy.

So, dude, speaking of Secret Service, I watched the, you know, there's these folks at this production company that used to do that Jesse Ventura show, the conspiracy theory show. And I was talking to them about this idea that they have. The producers of that show? Yes, the producers of that show. I was talking to them about this idea that they had. And as we got talking, somehow or another, we got to talking about conspiracy theories because

of that show and what they wanted that show to be what it ultimately became and how like they weren't happy with the direction that it all went but they started talking to me about jfk and they're like like have you like have you seen our special on jfk i was like you know i mean i'm pretty familiar with the case you know i know it pretty well i've read several books about it i've watched a bunch of different documentaries on it. Well, they gave me this, the Jesse Ventura episode of it. It's fucking, it's pretty interesting, man. You saw it?

Yeah, it's pretty interesting. Did you learn any new things? Well, you know, they set up a rifle thing where you could see, like, the distance of how far he was shooting from the window and, like, how accurate, you how accurate you could be with that rifle in that amount of time in six seconds, fire off three shots. And you watch that and you go,

wow, that's not likely. It's not likely he did that. So what's your theory on who did it and how did they get away with it? Well, this is the other thing. They focused on this guy E. Howard Hunt who is a known assassin, a known CIA agent, a guy who was, you know, he was arrested for Watergate and wound up doing time for that. So you believe he was assassinated by the CIA?

Yeah, for sure, I think, if I had to guess. Because he wanted to abolish the cia yeah i don't i think lee harvey oswald probably wasn't innocent i mean it was it was pretty obvious that lee harvey oswald was some sort of a government agent but it seems more than likely when you look at all the evidence about how fucking ridiculous the whole scenario was the way they were parading him in that open area with where it was totallyprotected. The president with the roof down. They slowed down around the turn. The Secret Service guys.

There's so much shit, right? There's so much shit. This is a setup. They set this up and they killed that fucking guy. For people, not to at least say, there's something fishy going on. What is fishy to you? You look at 9-1-1.

Shit, there's just so much. Isn't it fishy that Tower 7 just fucking got demoed? Isn't that fucking fishy? Doesn't that ring a fucking bell? There's just so much nonsense with the case. The single bullet theory is often debated. And the scary thing about it is how many people are willing to come up with some this weird irrational explanation for why this one bullet did all these unlikely things and then wound up on the gurney and the only

reason for that is because that one bullet helps negate the possibility of conspiracy and attribute all three bullets to one guy and it's the only real reason to do it. And the only reason they had to attribute this one bullet to all these wounds was because there was a man under the underpass and this guy got hit in the face by a ricochet. The bullet hit the curb right in front of him and the curb stone came up and fucked his head up. So this guy had to go to the hospital and he told them what happened. So they knew that was a shot that was in the record, and they knew there was one other wound to Kennedy that was in the record. So the headshot, or before the headshot, the one that hit him in the back, had to do all of his damage and then all the damage to Governor Connolly as well.

So that's the only reason why they attributed it to this one bullet. And then they magically find this bullet on a gurney in the hospital. And then the bullet doesn't even have any damage to it. The bullet looks like a bullet that's been fired through water. It doesn't look like a bullet looks when it goes through two human beings. It just doesn't. Period. I mean, it's nonsense. Every single

test that they've ever done where they've tried to duplicate it, they haven't been able to. Mythbusters wasn't able to. Every time they hit bone, it fucked that bullet up. It shattered that bullet. The bullet was all contorted and twisted. Not the magic bullet.

The magic bullet came out in near pristine condition, like they shot it into a million pillows. It looked amazing. It didn't even look flattened. That's some scary shit. It's scary as fuck that people were willing to accept that.

The only reason that that is on record is because they wanted a conclusion that they had already come up to. They'd come up with this, Lee Harvey Oswald was guilty, long before this was ever a question. It'd be hot if Marilyn Monroe was the one who thought it. It's like so much evidence of... They wanted Lee Harvey Oswald to be

guilty. That was period. That's what the Warren Commission was set up to show. That Lee Harvey Oswald was guilty. That's why that best evidence book is so creepy. It's a fucking creepy subject, isn't it? That they killed the president? Yeah. It would be really cool though if it was like Marilyn Monroe and Jimi Hendrix in like a

hot air balloon with two sniper rifles or something. Like if it was something that sexy and awesome if they did a legit legit investigation where they were after the person who shot if they were it would have there was just too much fishy shit they wouldn't they wouldn't they would have went after it yeah well the photos of E. Howard Hunt are ridiculous because there's a photo of him they arrested three hobos that they were arrested by the way right outside the area where the grassy knoll is, where supposedly the headshot came from, the reason why Kennedy's head goes back and to the left. And there's a photo of him when they were arresting these three hobos.

These hobos were not hobos, man. They looked like young men, healthy people. They didn't look like there was anything wrong with them. They didn't look fucked up. E. Howard Hunt is clearly in that photo. You can pull the photo up. E. Howard Hunt, JFK assassination photo. That's it, man. You can see him. See that guy with the hat in the back? That is E. Howard

Hunt. They've taken photo images and put his face over the face of E. Howard Hunt. His bone structure and everything, it matches exactly. That guy was a killer. That guy was a fucking killer, and he was hanging out behind the grassy knoll. They arrested those guys and then let them free.

Didn't charge them with shit. They look like hipsters now. Didn't charge them with shit. Despite all the evidence that there was someone in the grassy knoll shooting guns, there was all these people saying that shots were coming from behind them that were standing was someone in the grassy knoll shooting guns. There was all these people saying that shots were coming from behind them that were standing in front of the grassy knoll. They had all these witnesses, and a

huge amount of people mysteriously died that were witnesses to this shit. A huge amount. There was a documentary they did where they talked about the odds, what the odds were that all these people who had witnessed the Kennedy assassination would be killed in either violent murders or horrible car accidents or fires or train track accidents where they parked their car on train tracks. They killed a lot of fucking people, man.

It's really possible that they tied up all the loose ends. You know, it's really possible that they tied up all the loose ends. It's really possible that they killed the president, and then they went out and they killed a whole bunch of people that might have been able to tell that they killed the president. And they cleaned that shit up nice, and they put it in a big book, and they called it the Warren Commission Report, and then there you go. That's it. There you go.

Same thing with the 9-1-1 Commission Report. Same thing. Do you think that? Do you really think 9-11 was a conspiracy? Is that what you think? For sure? I think it's just so damn fishy, man. Just so much.

I mean, isn't it fishy that Tower 7 got demoed? Tower 7 is fishy as fuck. That's fishy. But what's possible to me, it's always possible in the back of my head that you've got to look at incompetence. 1,500 engineers and architects, they say it's all bullshit. That is Tower 7, right?

That's what their dispute is. It's not 1 and 2, though, right? I'm not sure. See, the thing about 1 and 2 that a lot of people don't know when we're talking about the towers that fell, this crazy 911 conspiracy shit. Fuck you, Rogan.

I'm shutting this off right now. I'm tired of your fucking pseudoscience. Towers 1 and Tower 2 were really the only tower that we know of that's ever been hit by a full jumbo jet, full fuel like that. Who knows? It might have been that design just was not really the right way to go if you're going to get hit by a fucking plane. Because if you watch the way 1 and 2 fall, to me, they fall like a building that's falling apart,

which is what I would assume would happen if it started crumbling and crushing. It would fall apart that way. When you look at Tower 7, though, though tower seven it goes into its base it collapses into its base it doesn't collapse from the top down and pancake like one and two there's video of it there's several angles of it we need to get to the bottom it was left out of the 9-1-1 commission report and then the explanations for it are fucking retarded you know nist came out and they did a presentation it's on youtube n-i-s-t it's ridiculous do you think though here's an alternate explanation do you think that tower seven first of all was the the how it's a less sinister

possibility tower seven was home to a lot of different organizations right like wasn't the nsa and there was a lot of different physical records that were kept there that were lost completely in the demolition. Is it possible that if you have a place or a building that's filled with so much sensitive information, so much dangerous sensitive information, that they might have built it with the design to implode it whenever they wanted to in the case of a breach,

in case of the possibility of losing all that information to other governments or what have you. Well, if that was the only thing that was fishy, there's like a thousand things. There's just so much shit. That's just the most obvious one. Well, that's the only thing I've looked at for that one. That was the most obvious. Look at like the Pentagon and all that shit. There's so much. that's just the most obvious well that's the only thing i looked at for that was the most look at like the pentagon and all that shit there's so much but it is also

possible i do also reserve the possibility that i don't know shit about architecture or engineering and then if you start a massive fucking gasoline fire in the basement of a building and it turns into like essentially like one of those inside one of those green egg ovens. I don't think... The floors all fall apart. You look at Tower 7, there's several angles. It gets demoed right in the middle of all that shit.

Well, it certainly looks like it. Add that to everything else. And then you saw what people are capable with JFK. You know, that's just like... It's business as usual, dude. No, maybe. No, I'm not saying it's not.

But I'm saying one of the things that's interesting is even though it does go in like a controlled demolition it doesn't blow out like a controlled demolition it's almost like maybe they just like did a really sweet one why do you do like what we got a really nice way of doing this minimal explosion really just kind of falls apart this information doesn't seem important enough for that though like like like if you yeah it's security security got breached but it also was an airplane to the side of a fucking you know building i don't think that there's like people jumping off the airplane going like get the documents get all the important information you know like no no i'm not saying that i'm saying that they built it to to be able to do that to it you know what i'm saying you know in the very moment they built it they be able to do that to it. I'm saying from the very moment they built it,

they knew that they were going to have the NSA there. They knew they were going to have the DEA documents, whatever the fuck they've got going on in there. Whatever crazy shit, bankers. There was a lot of different really high-level government organizations that had been running out of this building. If they wanted to design it so that if anything happened, if there was a fire one day, they can just crush it. They can just

bring it down to the ground. That's such a small possibility. It's a small one. If they wanted to spaz out a little. Because if it's not that... My question, if it's not that, then what is it? Would they load it up the building while everybody was working in it? That's highly unlikely.

It's highly unlikely that you could get away with loading up a building. It takes weeks to do that shit. We talked about that. Dynamite up the ass, remember? Up your ass? One stick at a time. Remember? That's right. We did talk about this.

That's hilarious. There's lots of evidence and eyewitnesses for weeks and weeks. Workers coming in, certain fans. There's a lot of testimony they're like yeah we just see these guys they work in here at you know off hours oh really yeah there's so much evidence it's they did such a sloppy job they just wanted so who are these guys these guys that went and um who knows load up all these explosives they're just who knows we don't

know someone did it someone did it. Someone did it. Tower 7. It's a really possible staff of Starbucks. And then look at the Pentagon. They're saying a plane crashed into it. And when you look at the wreck, there's no plane wreckage. That's another huge one. The Pentagon, a missile hit it.

Or there was a bomb. It was one or the other. They finally released the explosion, the three frames. There's no plane. Well, there's something that hits it. It looks like a frames. There's no plane. Well, there's something that hits it. It looks like a missile. There's no wreckage. But is it?

There's no wreckage. Isn't there? Why haven't I seen photos? You've got to look into it. No, what you do is you see photos. There's like wings and wheels. What you see is a photo up close of like some machine thing, like up close. That's not what I want to see.

I want to see a picture, a back pic pick the whole front lawn where everything's all fucked up and there's suitcases and there's tennis shoes and there's shit that you see and there's been plenty of planes wrecking they know what plane wreckage looks like you see fucking seats so you think they just came back and sprinkled some shit down immediately i remember when it was going on well no. When you think about what got blown up in the Pentagon the day before 9-1-1, Donald Rumsfeld, you can go, it goes on, he goes in front of the,

That's also from the Jesse Ventura show. Yeah. You can also see it on YouTube. Donald Rumsfeld, the day before 9-1-1, he has a press conference explaining how we just found out that the enemy is within.

Somewhere in the Pentagon, we have the enemy and we're going to find out. It turns out we're 2.3 trillion dollars. 2.3 trillion dollars are missing from the Pentagon. That's what they just figured out in accounting. That's what he's just talking about.

The day before. Next day, fucking 9-1-1 goes down. A missile blows up the accounting office and all the accountants. Isn't that strange? Isn't that fishy? A missile blows up the accounting office and all the accountants. Well, there's photos. Brian, show me photos. Isn't that strange? Isn't that fishy?

That is crazy. If this was a CISI episode, you would definitely look at that, right? That's some fishy shit. Brian, do me a favor and pull up that Jesse Ventura conspiracy theory thing. It's on YouTube. Go to YouTube and write Jesse Ventura Conspiracy Pentagon. Dude, they blew up the accounting office and the accountants

did. The ones that just figured out that we were, that they whatever they did, they swindled 2.3 trillion dollars. Yeah, Jesse Ventura Conspiracy Theory Donald Rumsfeld. I want to know how they steal it.

Pentagon. Yeah, when... Let me see if this is the one. This was... When you put all that shit together, you put all that shit together, you're like, dude, what the fuck are you guys up to? You guys are up to no good here.

I've been governor. A Navy SEAL. A fighter. Oh, we don't have to hear this part. I just like hearing it. Now I think it's time you get the whole story. Is this the clip we're looking for? Is this the whole episode? I don't know. Oh, yeah. you get the whole story. Is this the clip we're looking for? Is this the whole episode?

I don't know. Oh, yeah. This is the whole episode, dude. We can't do this. What are you looking for? I just want the one Donald Rumsfeld quote. Oh, yeah. Just go put Donald Rumsfeld 9-10-01.

Put that shit on. Let's listen to that. What do you got to say about that? Next day, the only part of the Pentagon that's blown up is the accounting office? Brian, just try to find that shit. I don't know. I know it's Donald. Donald Rumsfeld.

This might be it. Six minutes long, though. No, that's not it. You'd have to... Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld has a press conference where he reports that they have simply lost $2.3 trillion. They don't have receipts for it. They don't know where it went. Do you recall that, the day before 9-11? Well, if you don't, that's what happened. According to some estimates, we cannot track $2.3 trillion in transactions.

How ironic that the exact place that was struck in the Pentagon was where all those records were supposedly had to be. Now all destroyed. So I guess the $2.3 trillion, we as taxpayers just say, C'est la vie. Now, isn't that a bit much I have no idea did he just punch him why has all the tapes confiscated put in National Security and we're not allowed to view the plane hitting the Pentagon and don't come back with me and say but they did you saw that little flash of five frames

me and say but they did you saw that little flash of five frames i have no idea well you know very warren commission-ish the government has a tremendous propensity for secrecy and the defense department and others do as well you believe that the lawyer admits our government's still hiding the truth from you and me there was no rubble outside but there was all there was was a hole what happened to where the wings here ask that question to our 9-11 Commission staffer who was the only survivor from that room who made it out i did talk to april gallup who was actually inside the room in the pentagon and she looked me in the eye and told me unequivocally i saw nothing that indicated a plane hit the pentagon i felt that a bomb had exploded their witnesses could always have different versions of different things. Well, that's a ridiculous statement.

Hold on. Kill it. Governor, you've asked me a lot of questions that indicate that... Of course you would feel like a bomb hit it. Right. Any kind of lab explosion. I mean, it really is like a bomb. What is a bomb?

It's an explosion. And that's what fucking happens when a plane flies into a fucking building. That is an explosion. That's like watching Steven Seagal rape somebody. You saw the footage of the fly frames that they released. There's no plane there. That chick, you put it all together. It's so hard to see what that is.

So hard to see what that is. Which is why they released it. But there's photos of it. It's weird. Come on, man. Come on. It's weird that a plane. That's ridiculous shit.

It's weird that a plane, you know, they've had people try to emulate that physical force of pulling a plane into those Gs. They haven't been able to do it. If you put it all together, Donald Rumsfeld, the day before, talking about... They just figured out their $2.3 million is missing. And then they blow it up. Come on. Hey, Brian, do me a favor and pull this up.

Pull up... What was the exact phrase that it was uh oh a flight simulator flight simulator 911 pentagon fail yeah the guy keeps trying it over and over again on a flight simulator and he can't get it it's too hard it's just he can't get it he can't do it they have expert pilots try to do it they can't do it that thing was like flying like inches off the ground what did it hit well you know the other thing is what if uh you know if whatever hit what if it was under remote control what if there was a way to do it manually like with a remote control that a person physically couldn't do flying a plane a person physically couldn't control it yeah that's what they're saying that's that's the reasoning there's so much shit dude they're just and then there's other layers to that

right that norad they just ignored all that shit for like they had to stand down there's just so much shit there you could do three hours on it. It's all a big fuck up. They fucked up. And they knew they could fuck up and they knew no one was going to stop them. It could be mass incompetence too mixed in with some fuckery. It could be a little bit of both.

You know what I'm saying? It could be some fuckery mixed with just real government incompetence And then that all led into all the bullshit in the Middle East. It was all bullshit. Weapons of mass destruction. All that.

They're on TV in front of the world, lying their ass off, and they know they can get away with it. And George W. Bush and Obama, they're all in the same fucking bed, man. They're all just lying their asses off. Obama is the biggest fucking liar out there. That guy's just full of shit.

When he was running for the presidency, he had of shea guavara in his office and oh man he fooled me right there i'm like damn the guy's a shea guavara that's a fucking revolution yeah meanwhile he's been one of the worst people we've ever had as far as like taking away civil liberties i mean that's not a melodramatic statement ladies and gentlemen if you look up the National Defense Authorization Act and look up this new one that makes it illegal, it's a felony to protest near a secret service station. Holy shit. And Obama was for it, huh? Peaceful protest. He fucking signed it, man.

Peaceful protest. What about all that weed talk in the beginning? Oh, if I'm president, I'm going to push for legalization. The whole weed community, the whole culture, the whole business, they were all behind Obama. They thought Obama was going to be the one to push it through, make it legal across the board, legal adult use. What do you think it is? They got behind Obama.

They were fighting for him, the whole weed, and then he turned his back. But it was all planned anyways. It wasn't like he, he just like, all of a sudden he became just an evil fuck. He,

he's, it's been planned. This is all planned. This is all bullshit. They're slowly taking away our freedoms day by day, increment,

you know, in increments and we're all just sitting there watching it fucking go and no one's even paying attention. It's really amazing. This is all you need to know, ladies and gentlemen. Really, just put this into your head.

Anybody that's trying to take away your right to peacefully protest is not your friend. They're not looking out for you. They don't want you to be able to talk about the shit job they're doing. They want it to all just sink in like the evening news with a big fucking stupid smile on their face. That's good there's no way to rationalize it it's not american it's against the constitution but does it surprise you no i'm not surprised at all look man i've been watching this game of thrones you ever watch that show no oh dude i'm hardcore addicted i'm only like five

episodes in but hardcore addicted it's all like it's based on this fantasy land this uh middle uh middle earth you know like the world where like winter is like fucking 10 years long and summer is like nine years long and there's dragons and but the the my my point was these motherfuckers are just constantly trying to jack each other to get better positions. They're constantly worrying about being jacked by some other people who are coming over the hill. They're constantly worried about getting fucked up by the dudes from the north who want back their land. It's just, and you realize, this is just like there's no difference between now and then. I mean, we're not used to seeing dudes sword fight in the street like they were back then.

But there's not that much difference between now and then. It's all just done through different machinery and different language and different methodologies and different governments working together to do it and do it as nonviolently as possible. But when the shit hits the fan, the boys hit the shore, guns in hand, fucking tanks rolling over the ground, because somehow or another there's some shit going down in Afghanistan that we're really,

it's really important that we're there to stop it. We've got to stop Afghanistan. What? What? I mean, it's so transparent, so clean. Like, there's really no room for it to be anything other than what it is. It's like, oop, there you go.

Do you think it's a ridiculous war what do you think the whole time we're gonna attack north korea soon no you don't think so no i think north korea needs they need food man they're those people can't even get their rockets launched they've launched a couple they've failed a couple of different uh rocket launches i think we're going to war again soon very very soon. Because I've been hearing a lot of people being called to shore, or called to duty. Really? Yeah. A lot of people. Like, it's weird.

Really? Where have you been hearing this? Maybe I just made it all up. Am I allowed to talk about that? Probably not, right? I don't know. I don't know, man. That's some dark shit We know somebody's about to get called up like people there's somebody I know that's like 45 and like he's been out of it for a while

The Saints starship troopers man, it's not like the bugs are coming. We got to fight him off Okay, this is other people his other people on the other side of the world rocking it However, the fuck they do and for whatever reason we got to go in interject and fuck with their way of life and fuck with their existence it's crazy it's really crazy that's not what our patriotic americans that are serving because they really want to help this country that's not what they deserve what they deserve is to be involved in just wars only what they deserve is to be at home and and to be you know with their fucking families and not have to use our resources to keep them over in some spot where they don't fucking need to be it's nonsense you're

not gonna fix afghanistan you're out of your fucking mind that that place is crazy it's all it's there's one city kabul and warlords everywhere it's like they're like mountains and shit you you ever see the the videos of like the troops bring back? Like shit, like home movies, the mountains of Afghanistan. Like, god damn. That is crazy. They're like in some nutty Lord of the Rings movie over there. Nobody's fixing Afghanistan.

Get out of there. It's just another Vietnam. It's another thing that we're going to regret. The sooner they get out of there, the better, but they never will. They never will because they're in it for the money, and that's why it's so transparent. Do you really think that anybody high up with the real green light power thinks that they're trying to help Afghanistan?

I think money's the bottom line, the heroin, the oil, all that kind of shit. That's all involved. They do help, and that help they use to justify what they're doing over there i mean they can do that i mean i think eventually iraq will be in a better position i don't know well you know what i don't even say that now because we left right the united states is officially like leaving iraq it's only going to be like a few thousand soldiers or something there isn't that the case i think that's right and i think the only reason those people are there is because we bought all that property from you know

we bought property from them isn't that hilarious that we could even say that that can't be true right no do we buy it yeah we always buy it we always go to countries

and buy properties and buy properties and put up a base boom what a nutty country we are it's fascinating times man it's fascinating times there's gonna have to be

some sort of a fucking mass awakening though there's there's no way we can keep up this ridiculous psychotic pace with all the access to information that we have the only way we're gonna get there is we got to get into question mode start questioning everything don't accept everybody look into it even if it turns out to be totally benign look into into it. There's some fucking fishy shit going on. Yeah, but resources too. Look into it. Question shit.

Don't just accept shit. Don't think that your government is out for your best interest. It's not that way at all. Politicians are just at the high levels. They're just getting theirs, and they don't care who's in their way. The real problem, though, is resources. The real problem is there's a lot of people out there that don't have any fucking opportunity for employment there's fucking not much man and the united states army marines air force what have you is the best career option for them and that's

legit that's legit in a lot of parts of this country man there's some parts of this country where dudes are trying to find a way out you know and when the marines come along and offer you guidance and discipline and a way to pay for college, you know, for a lot of dudes, that's helped them. That's helped, I know, a lot of people that it's changed them for the better. Until they use you. Until wars break out. Because I remember dudes, when dudes joined the Marines when there was no war. That was a different sort of experience.

That was a guy who would join the Marines to toughen up. But once wars started happening, man, that's a completely different gig. Because now you're actually going to go and you're going to be involved in some insane one-on-one combat where you're shooting guns at each other. You know, I mean, that's more than likely going to happen. Can you imagine? So few resources that that's a viable career option for a lot of people. But it is. We're lucky it's not us.

But it is for some folks. And that fucking sucks. And I think a lot of that is because so much shit gets made in other countries now. There's not nearly the manufacturing base that America once had, especially with cars and shit you know we used to have like the dopest cars in the world you know america had like you know back in the day when you know gm and and and ford would like do battle to have like the coolest cars with like mustangs and camaros we we made some cool ass shit. But slowly but surely, that just fucking fell apart.

Slowly but surely, that just crumbled and tumbled. Did you ever see Roger and Me? No. The Michael Moore movie about Flint, Michigan? No. GM closes a plant in Flint, Michigan. Dude, it's dark. It's a dark fucking movie.

It's brilliant. And it's all about Michaelael moore trying to find out like he tries to get an interview with this guy who was the head of gm and find out why he did that and see what he did to this town when he pulled out i don't know if he didn't if he lied to them or something happened and these people just were totally completely unprepared for this and he said just simply abandoned it and the whole town's like it's it's just crazy to watch how poor people were man people were selling bunnies for food or pets and like you know so you would say food and the lady like grabs the bunny like she's got this bunny in her in her lap and she's petting it

and you say food and she grabs the bunny by the fucking back of the head breaks its neck and then just cuts it open right right on camera and she's doing this. It's like, wow. That's in the movie? Yeah. I couldn't watch that. I know you couldn't. That's why I'm telling you about it right now. How is the bunny? Because I know you're in love with bunnies.

You know how lovable bunnies are? So this lady's touching this bunny, and then when they say food or pets, she says food, so she kills it. When you think about that life gets that hard, where you have this cute little bunny, and you're like, all right, it's snapping its neck, time to eat it. You know, that's like, you're getting down, that's an animalistic sort of a vibe you're getting into. You're getting into this weird, you know, that's a weird world you're living in, man. You're eating your pets.

I mean, that thing is, you know, that's dark. There's one thing to separate. We separate, like, the chickens are outside, and I'm going to eat those chickens. My dog, I'm not going to eat my dog. You know, there's one thing to separate. We separate like the chickens are outside and I'm going to eat those chickens. My dog, I'm not going to eat my dog. There's one thing. But when you're eating your dog too, you've gone into the dark zone. You've gone into this weird desperation mode.

You're eating pets. Don't read up mice and men either, Eddie. Yeah, there's a lot of that too. George is not good with the rabbits. I wonder if there's hobos out there that eat dogs oh yeah i'm sure they do brother i'm sure they do right no doubt man no doubt yeah they eat dogs did you hear about uh we were in florida this weekend fort lauderdale me and duncan had a great fucking time awesome crowds thank you everybody that came out we had

a fucking blast um but when we were down there a dog had gotten eaten in the florida keys recently by a crocodile a crocodile took a 65 pound labrador it flew four feet out of the water and snatched it off of like a wall it probably happens a lot dog was barking this dog was i don't know man i don't. I think this is pretty rare. It's a big dog. See, crocodiles are so much more dangerous. They go after shit. That's what people don't understand.

In Florida, when I was a kid, I lived in Gainesville, and we would feed the alligators marshmallows and shit. And they would ask you to please don't feed the alligators marshmallows because marshmallows get in their digestive tracts meanwhile these alligators would kill people's dogs they like would kill like old ladies dogs i was there when it happened once it was like either it happened like right before we were there or right after we were there but like my parents were really freaked out that an alligator ate a fucking lady's dog like she was walking along by the water and the thing just came out and snatched her dog from her but crocodiles will chase people Crocodiles will chase you they go after shit. Yeah, they're way more aggressive. It's a completely different animal

Alligators sit and they'll just sit and wait for something to fuck up So that that dog must have fucked up that dog just got too close But a crocodile chase that fucking dog and might just jack the old lady. You know, they eat people. No problem. And this one flew four feet in the air to kill a dog.

It's amazing that people would want to keep those around. Like, you can't even shoot them. They're protected. Like, what? You don't think that's dangerous? I mean, don't you guys have kids you want to keep this fucking stew it's not like crocodiles are gonna go extinct if you want them go to africa go fucking go look at them real quick and then come back home but let's let's

kill all the crocodiles we have here are you crazy yeah let's make belts out of those bitches fuck crocodiles fuck up the ecosystem. What are you talking about? We are fucking up the Florida ecosystem, though. They got a real problem, man, with pythons, those stupid fucks. What? They release pythons and they get too big. And then the fucking Everglades is infested with giant pythons. Dude, we flew over the Everglades.

And when we landed, it was early in the morning. Not early, like 9, 9 a.m. And as we're flying in, looking out over the windowglades and when we landed it was early in the morning not early you know like nine nine a.m and as we're flying in um like looking out like out over the window it's beautiful but the fucking everglades are huge it's just all swamp like a big part of florida is all just like water and trees growing out of the water, and fucking giant snakes, giant 20-foot-long pythons that are eating alligators. They're so big, they're eating alligators. There's a photo of a fucking python where an alligator burst out of its stomach. So basically the Everglades are like the Amazon.

Well, it's kind of scarier than the Amazon because it's almost all water. A lot of it is water it's like where we were flying over it's like swampy and it's almost creepier than the amazon because like the i don't know man they're both fucked up i guess the amazon probably has more poisonous shit would you go to the amazon i'll go to the everglades before i'd go to the amazon because i know a lot of the good old boys from florida they'll fuck around in the everglades they get those boats with the uh like the fan behind They'll fuck around in the Everglades. They get those boats with the fan behind it,

and they fish in the Everglades. I'm totally fascinated with looking at Amazon DVDs and documentaries about the Amazon, but I have no desire to ever go swim in the rivers and shit like that. I'm so not a jungle guy. You remember when I first got this house, and we sat, and uh that i got like

a little theater room and we watched that the documentaries from the bbc on the amazon where you see that fucking crazy bird eat that like ancient dinosaur fish on the con we talked about this before yeah i mean remember what what an impact that video had on you yeah we just think about how ridiculous it would be to go to any sort of a rainforest, the Congo, the Amazon, just to be dropped off in that shit. The Congo is the craziest, definitely. People live in the Amazon. I don't think there's a whole lot of people living in the Everglades. I think there's probably some parts of the Everglades we could drive to and live in,

but it looked to me like there was a lot of it that looked pretty goddamn wild. Maybe I'm just talking out of my ass. I think there's a lot of people that live around the isn't there a show like on swampy yeah something like that people kept wanting to get me to go there though a lot of people i'm like dude you gotta come out to the fucking everglades with us man come on we party out there dude we do some fucking mushrooms you know what's scary is people that live in the desert that's hilarious they party in flor, dude. Florida parties hard. They fucking party hard.

Those were the wild crowds. I told them, and this is true, it was like the perfect crowd to get me ready for next week or for this week now. You just played Fort Lauderdale? Yeah, I just did the improv in Fort Lauderdale. And it was fun, man. Great crowds.

But they're so wild they're just crazy man like and like two out of three shows a girl would stand up and say some crazy shit it was it was a bunch of like really wild heckler experiences but they're fun they're really nice people man it was a good time good goddamn time but they live in a tropical country man florida that's a goddamn tropical country south florida you know this key this is the keys where the the dog got eaten by the crocodile that's really like a tropical country i mean that's like there's like you got to drive to them over like a bridge you know those that's a that's a that's not even really connected

i just got back from the desert and it was really weird seeing about the people that lived in the desert. The roads were not maintained, so you just go through these dirt roads, and it looked like every single person that's a hoarder, the rich hoarders get to come out here, because every house seemed like a hoarder house from just the outside, and there was parts where I couldn't go because there was these dogs that would come in the street and block you you and they just wouldn't leave like you couldn't drive through them it was

fucking weird man the desert is weird what part of the desert are you talking about uh joshua tree yeah duncan's always trying to get me to go to joshua tree there's this he might he might be trying to rape me yeah he might be but actually there's this place that we uh went to that was really really cool and there's like these 12 AeroStream trailers. And each one of these trailers have been remodeled and gutted out. Like I stayed in the 70s one. My friends stayed in the one that was like all like 80s, like 1980s type shit. Right.

And they have, you know, archery, shooting guns. And they have one of those big teepees where you go in there and do drugs and stuff. And, like, even on the book, it's, like, people are, like, you know, how they sign, like, hey, had a great time. You know, they have, like, a book that you can sign in every one of these trailers.

And everyone was, like, dude, had the best shroom trip ever. Like, I'm tripping my ass off right now. This is what my mom looks like, like, just drawing pictures. And the whole place seemed badass, and I thought, how cool would it be to rent out

every single one of these trailers and just have like a big party with all your friends because that's what it was it was designed for you just to go there

and experience psychedelics and just it was the coolest thing that's what Joshua was designed for? that's this place I stayed at yeah

there's a lot of that up there right? it's so amazing there's so many different places like that. Wow, I never heard of it. I used to go to Joshua Tree as a kid all the time with the Boy Scouts. I used to go all the time.

Yeah. But never on mushrooms. They let you sing. I brought my dogs. Can you go in that big room and sing? You can do whatever the fuck you want, man. It's designed for you. The biggest thing is it made me really realize that I could live in one of those aero streams if I want.

Like I could almost live there. Like those are so nice how big they are. Do you have internet? Yeah, I had internet. We had a hot tub, pools, ping pong tables. Yeah, you could live in something like that. My friend Guido that I was talking about earlier, he lives in like a big mobile home type thing. Without internet, would you still do it without internet fuck that okay but that's cool because you can

move your wherever you want to live like i know that malibu uh has this really nice place that you can just park your aero stream and like rent the spot per month and i forget what uh what's his name the the guy from all right all right all right that guy uh was the girls keep getting younger and i keep on saying the same age what's that guy's name matt mcconaughey matt mcconaughey matt mcconaughey yeah he rented a place in malibu where he had his trailers and in oh yeah didn't he like live in a trailer for a while i think he's a movie star i think he still does see no i don't think so man he's married now he's he had a little cameo in the season finale of Eastbound and Down.

Oh, my God. I saw that. His cameo was awesome. Can we talk about how awesome that show is? I'm not a giant Matthew McConaughey fan, but he killed it. That was his best performance. He's brilliant. I think Matthew McConaughey is great.

Yeah. You know, in Tropic Thunder, he was great. Exactly. He's great in everything. He's got this like... He was great in... Oh, wait. No, he wasn't in that movie.

Wouldn't it be great to smoke weed with him? Yeah. That'd be fun. Without a doubt. I was going to say he was great in that Dragon movie, but he wasn't in that movie wouldn't it be great to smoke weed with him yeah I was gonna say he was great in that dragon movie but he wasn't in that dragon movie he killed it

I was for whatever reason I thought he was in that Christian Bale movie about dragons but he wasn't hmm dragon movie

huh you know who killed I saw that Hunger Games see that hunger games no i haven't seen it woody harrelson he's a bad motherfucker was it good what he's called it's not a bad movie it's uh it's you know it's kind of uh it's kind of fun you know i saw cabin in the woods the worst garbage ever no way i've been hearing that was good somebody just told me to see that oh god what's it about it's terrible what is it about what's it about a cabin in the woods right yeah that's pretty much what maybe he's about

it's really is it like evil what's it about it's way worse than you can imagine describe it you want me to tell you about it fuck i don't want to blow it don't why if it sucks if it sucks blow it does it really suck you really to tell you about it? Fuck yeah. I don't want to blow it. Don't spoil it. Why? If it sucks, if it sucks, blow it. Does it really suck? Do you really feel like it sucks? It's about, it's about some

God who has actual human scientists working for him to sacrifice virgins. So the way these scientists get to sacrifice virgins is they,

they got like CIA connections where they somehow coordinate three guys and two girls to take a trip out in the cabin, in the woods for a weekend party, and then while they're out there, it's all experiment. It's all like fenced off electronically, so these scientists are all programming you know they

think they're just going out to a cabin to you know swim in the lake but they're part of an experiment a sacrifice and one of them is a virgin and they decide based on what they do there's like some magic books that they read in the cellar based on on what they read, they decide how they're going to die. Are they going to read, are they going to have the zombies attack them? Ghosts attack them? Girls with no face, just a mouth attack them? There's every giant cobras, they're all in little boxes. Every monster you could think of is in a little box under the lake. And they, based on what they read, they, based on what they read, they based on what they read they got the zombies that like mountain men that were killed and now they're zombies and they come out with after you

with with horse traps and axes there's like three a family and like the scientists are all betting it's a comedy the scientists are all betting uh there's like 20 scientists they're all betting on how they're gonna what monsters are they gonna release based on reading this magic book. So, you know, there's $100 on the zombies. They got the fucking giant cobra. They got the ghost. They got the guy with the saw head. They got all these,

they're all betting on all these monsters and goblins and ghouls. Sounds like a movie you actually would like, Joe. That might be my favorite movie ever. Dude, it's ridiculous. And the scientists are all working, and guess who the main director is that communicates with the gods? Who?

Sigourney Weaver. Yep. Sigourney Weaver makes a cameo in the worst movie ever. It was like a Las Vegas appearance for her or something. You know what I mean? It's like, christ it was terrible celebrity apprentice terrible oh that's fun it was ridiculous how is that possible that they got her i guess they must have just offered her some mad loot dude she had some tax problems she was just an avatar man i don't know she didn't read the script she's from alien you know what She didn't read the script. She's from Alien.

You know what? They gave her another script. I think that's one of those movies that we're going to disagree on. She thought she was doing Alien 5. It was just amazing. Whoa. Hold on. Watch it.

Go watch it. It was a comedy. It was a comedy. Trust me. It was a comedy. And I'm not even joking. It was a comedy. It was hilarious.

How high were you when you saw it? I was pretty high. Had a glass of wine. You know what I mean? I was ready to enjoy this shit. Right, right. It was really... But you'd never been one for fantasy type movies. It's just ridiculous shit.

It was ridiculous. I like a lot of ridiculous movies. Yeah. I like superhero movies. Do you like superhero movies? No. No. No. See?

If I know the guy's going to live, I don't want to see this shit. He's going to... Every superhero movie's the same. There's seven or eight moments where he's about to die, and then he doesn't... You know he's not going to die. Yeah, I know. I know it's a superhero movie. I'm not into that, man.

I'm not into that. Dude, did you see The Watchmen? Yes, I did. That's a good superhero movie because it's sort of an anti-superhero movie. Yeah, that was pretty good. For a superhero movie, that was all right. Yeah.

I'm just not into it. It was a great movie. I'm just not into it. The Watchmen. If they're wearing tights and they got capes and they're flying and shit like that, that's hard for me. It's badass.

That's what I like. I don't know. I know it could really happen, but... Iron Man was the shit, dude. You didn't like Iron Man? That was cool because that could really happen. Okay. Because he's like a machine.

It's like a machine. You know what I mean? Iron Man was cool because it was believable. Yo, dude, the guy made a nuclear reactant stuck in his chest. That shit ain't real. Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. You're like Iron Man.

It's totally possible. Batman's more possible than Iron Man. No, I think Iron Man's more possible. No, no, no. No way. Iron Man is a regular human being. Batman's just a super yoked dude. Batman is like Andre Orlovsky. When he was in his prime, if Andre Orlovsky was in his prime,

he could have been a real-life Batman. Too many times was he tied up, and then at the last second, he gets out. Okay. That's a goddamn blue thing in your chest. up and then at the last second he gets okay yeah it's much more possible than having a nuclear reactor for a heart he's reaching in and he's having fucking what's-her-face Gwyneth Paltrow reach in there and pull the wires out that's preposterous with it all and are they all sorry fuck fuck Iron Man I don't give a shit I wear no Iron Man t-shirt I thought was I I like Robert Downey Jr. you wouldn't wear no Iron Man t-shirt. I thought it was a height. I like Robert Downey Jr.

You wouldn't wear an Iron Man t-shirt? I have a Captain America t-shirt. I'm not into comics, man. I'm not into comics. I love comic books. I'm not into it. I don't read them very often, man. But I'll tell you what. When I was a kid, they brought me great joy.

When I was a kid and I was moving around, we were moving around all over the country, the constant in my life, because when we moved a bunch of times, it takes a while to make friends. You're in one place, and then you move in two years and you're in another place comic books were like my constant buddy when i was a young kid so to me like i'll always have like a special spot in my heart for comic books because i remember the effect that they had on me when i was a kid and that's undeniable like to say now that I'm over that or that's ridiculous. No, they're still cool. They're still cool.

It's just there's other shit that's cooler for me to do with my time. I really don't have that much time to devote to comic books, but I still love them. Have you been to a comic book store lately? No, but you know I have. I really do like watching comics on my iPad. I'll buy like the Marvel comic series on my iPad. And they have quite a few that you can

you buy you'll be surprised how much you'll freak the fuck out though if you go inside a comic book store I mean t-shirt wise toy wise comic wise

you'll go in there and be like holy god look at this t-shirt oh look at this weird poster it's fun still what I really love though is the way the iPad does it where it's frame by frame

yeah that's nice it's nice because it really like it's better it's better to read a comic book on an iPad than it is to read it in the actual form because in the actual form

you can see all the shit that's going to happen on the next page. There's an explosion and it really ruins it. But the iPad, it's dope. You don't see explosions coming. You don't see anything coming.

It's nice. The only comics I was into were the Hustler comics. I was really into it. I thought Hustler had the best jokes. Whoever was writing those jokes, that was a good quality comic that's some funny shit playboy was not as funny but hustler had some great shit i would design flyers like my the bands i was in the speed metal bands i was in my thing was when you give out a flyer for your band people just

throw it away go how could i get them to keep it for a little bit i would design a flyer on top of a hustler a comic so i'm basically giving them a comic and they're looking at like some some dude there's one there's just one where there's a dude a doctor walking in with the chick and the doctor's telling the chick we did what we could it was a really bad accident and they walk into the hospital and there's a dude laying there just a head a dick and a hand that i used that as a flyer a head of dick and a hand yeah there's a dude lying there in the hospital bed he's just a head a dick and a hand i thought that was the funniest shit ever and the doctor's walking the doctor's walking in you know with this chick it's like it was a horrible accident we did what we could oh god that's funny at all oh come on man that was hustling bro we're allowed to have different tastes we obviously do we're best

friends we don't even agree but real comics i never i never got into them man i was way i was a big kiss fan they had kiss comics i didn't read the kiss comics i didn't read them i don't know why i wasn't into it i think um you're you just don't like obvious heroes and and i didn't like reading to begin with anyway so that was a big part of it i didn't read and the only thing i read was magazines like rock magazines i was totally into that shark books you know dinosaur books my parents gave me a lot of books when i was a kid i read a lot it was great it was um that's how i got into comic books i i read a lot of shit when i was a kid i read a lot it was great it was um that's how i got into comic books i i read a lot of shit when i was a kid you know like again if you don't have that many friends you read like when i was uh going to taekwondo for most of my life i would take the t in boston

i said i have to walk the train and take the train in it's like you know 40 minutes or something like that i'd always read you know read get it get a stephen king book you know when you really when you get into a good book man it, it's fucking really fun, man. A good Stephen King book, god damn, they're fun. I never finished them. Oh, dude. I read half of it,

and then I was like, I can't do this. It is an amazing book. God damn, Pet Sematary is a fucking great book. The movie was fun, but god damn, that fucking book is good. It's fun. He just knows how to drag you in. It's just entertainment, man.

A lot of times, to me, I find it much more enjoyable than watching some terrible movie a terrible movie won't engage me at all if it's a great movie i would much rather prefer a great movie than to read a book but a lot of movies aren't great movies a lot of movies aren't alien you know what i mean a lot of movies don't just fucking completely suck you in in that case sometimes a book is way better than a shitty movie it's a way better experience did you ever read his a lot more great books did you ever read uh king's like dark tower or whatever that shit's called no i heard that's the best stuff yeah duncan raves about that but those are daunting dude those are thousands of pages long like you look at the whole dark tower series yeah stephen king was not bad

motherfucker you want to talk about a dude who's put out a lot of work holy shit is that guy prolific who the hell writes more than stephen king i mean that guy's always got a new book coming out he's got another one coming out right now and he just constantly jams at it and that he got fucked up by a car he got hit by a van yeah like bad like broke bones all over his body several years ago he got fucked up man it took a long time to rebuild him many many surgeries he's an incredible pain for a long period of time and then he started writing again got right back into that shit bam i'd like to see a documentary on that guy like his childhood i wonder what it was like growing up well he's got

a great book the it's called stephen king on writing i think it's called is that the name um and uh it's uh i think that's it just look look up stephen king's book on writing if you're interested in it but it's a great shows you like how pragmatic his thinking is and you know he's very honest about what it was like when he was uh doing a lot of drinking and doing a lot of drugs that he would like black out and not even remember a book that he wrote like he's talked about it's like several of his books he doesn't remember writing them because he was just fucked up but they're brilliant books he has a mad indian in here carrie that's him that's a great fucking book maximum overdrive is the best movie back

in the day he's probably would you say he's the most famous writer? He's got to be one of them. He's got to be one of the most famous writers. Other than William Shakespeare, who else? Well, I mean, Living, for sure, he's one of the most famous. Living, who else would be famous? I mean, you get into people like the woman who wrote Harry Potter. She's probably really famous.

But Stephen King is so Judy Blume, motherfucker. I know Harry Potter. I know the name of the movies, but I don't know her name so judy bloom motherfucker i know who i know harry potter i know the name of the movies but i don't know the woman's name stephen king like yeah he's crazy famous yeah as far as like fame he's probably the most easily recognizable name of a writer he's probably if i had to say he's my all-time favorite fiction writer i would say yes i'd say he's number one he's the michael jackson shit writing he's got so many. The Tommy Knockers. Ooh, I loved that one. That was a great one. It was a fucking long UFO crashed into this area

like thousands of years ago. And they dig into it and reactivate it or some shit. And people get infected by these UFOs and start changing. I forget the exact plot of it, but I remember it was one of my favorites. When I was listening, I would be bummed out when my stop would come. I wonder how he comes up with this shit. changing i forget the exact plot of it but i remember it was one of my favorites when i was uh listening i would like i would be bummed out when my stop would come i wonder how he comes up with this shit well he uh i'm sure he smokes a lot of weed because he talks about it talks about how

great the the weed is in maine and how it should be a cottage industry and the you know the weed laws are ridiculous a lot of writers use weed you know i mean we know that i mean how many writers do we know that are just fiction writers guys who run on sitcoms guys who write movie a lot of writers use weed so of course i'm sure he uses weed jason ellis has a new book and it came out today i think and he was on some interview earlier and he was talking about like how he's a cutter and like he has this new thing where he like he meets this girl, and they cut each other, and they suck each other's blood. And so he was talking about going on this book tour. He's going to cut himself and then stamp, instead of signing it, he's going to start stamping it with his blood.

He's so crazy. That dude, the whole interview, I think it was Howard Stern, the whole interview was so fucking creepy. I feel bad for that guy. He's an odd guy. His dad sucked his dick, and then he had to suck his dad's dick. What? Yeah, when he was like six. What?

Yeah. Is he still alive? No, I don't think so. Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah, it was all in this interview, man. Who's this guy? Jason Ellis. Whoa. Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah. It was all in this interview, man. Who's this guy? Jason Ellis.

Whoa. Damn. Wow, that explains. Wow. No, it doesn't explain because he's a lot more together than 99.99999% of the world who would have had that same experience happen to them. He's a very successful guy. A lot of people who have had that same experience would probably be wrecked yeah and he's sober isn't he yeah he doesn't drink or he smokes

well i don't know i think he's actually sober yeah i think now he's completely sober i don't know though i'd have to i haven't done a show in a while and i'm not upset at that dude he thinks i'm upset at him because he prank called me once and i changed my number but i wasn't upset just i just automatically changed my number if someone gets it and starts prank calling me. I did it automatically. I wasn't upset. I was like, oh, okay, whatever. I didn't think it was particularly funny.

He gave out your number? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He prank called me. He prank called me and said some horrible Boston accent or something like that, and he did it on the air. Was it good? Was it funny? No.

Well, because I like him, I would have said it was funny. If I knew it was him, I would think it was funny because I like him i would have said it was funny if i knew it was him i would think it was funny because i like him but no it wasn't that particularly funny yes you know but i i didn't i didn't get upset i just changed my number he also talked about going to amsterdam and getting a hooker and how it was a tranny and he started getting something shoved up his ass like a dildo and he was like no i don't i don't want that and it was actually a cock of the tranny he didn't know it was a tranny hooker oh Jesus Christ Jesus wow

a tranny hooker fucks you in the ass a little bit but he did his book the style of he just told somebody and they wrote it down

oh yeah and he hasn't even read it yet Miss Thailand 2010 or something like that is a tranny yeah super hot

they allowed her into Miss Universe isn't that crazy she has a passport is it miss world what is it you guys talk about on the podcast already no well we showed pictures of her man it's incredible she's really hot it's weird i guess they get the boys early before they the testosterone kicks in and they get them on hormone therapy is that what it is yeah that's what they do with her i don't know if they did with her but apparently this is what i hear i could be totally wrong but in some asian countries they'll take a dude and get them on

female hormones quick to make them money like to survive like you're gonna be a chick now and you're gonna be a hooker there's one fucking story of these two lesbians that had this son i don't know if it was a natural birth son or an adopted son, I'm not sure. But they had a son, and I believe the kid was 10, and they wanted to get the kid ready for a gender reassignment. Because they said that the boy actually was saying

that he was a girl. That's probably what they say all the time. They wanted him to wear dresses. He would dress up like a girl, and they were like like he's getting ready to become a girl and everybody's like whoa you don't see the problem with this you don't whoa this this does not give you a gigantic green light here for crazy that's that's the crazy express is wide open this person is saying that a 10 year old wants a gender reassignment. Jesus fucking Christ. Really?

You know how nutty that is? I bet that's just normal. What is that kid's life like? What is that kid's environment like? You've got to make money. But, I mean, that's one of those things that you would think that someone would make up on some extreme, crazy, right-wing site because it would make conservative people so fucking furious you know that this could happen that someone could have you know this uh this boy

and at 10 years old be setting him up for gender reassignment what a fucking travesty that is and what it's like it's almost like an obvious attack on the gender itself it's like he doesn't want to be this anymore he wants to be another thing like us he wants to be like mommy and mommy yeah you know whoa could you imagine if you had to stick with the rest of your life with fucking decisions you made at 10 holy fuck dude being a being a transgender is totally normal in thailand they accept that they're celebrities that are transgenders or transvestites whatever you want to call it's totally normal it's totally accepted i wonder how that happened how crazy is that i wonder how that happened man yeah you know shit yeah someone was there was an article i think

on the underground talking about uh how ladyboys will fuck dudes up if dudes uh you know like you know some guys get like real disrespectful with ladyboys but they don up if dudes, like, you know, some guys get, like, real disrespectful with ladyboys. They don't realize, like, that's still a man. That's still a man, and he probably knows how to punch, and he'll fuck you up, man. Like, the story's about them getting upset. Well, you know, you saw a guy at jiu-jitsu

who had the body of a 13-year-old Thai girl. Like, you're like, there's no way you're gonna do shit. I'm gonna fuck you up. I don't care if you were born with balls, you know? They're so frail and tiny. They are frail and tiny, but the reality is if you're like a girl and you weigh like 130-plus pounds, there's a few girls that are around that weight that can punch you in the face

and knock you unconscious, legit. Like my friend Tommy Jr. Did you ever meet my friend Tommy Jr.? You met my friend Tommy Jr. from Connecticut. I believe you met him at UFCs before. Okay. Anyway, his girl has a ridiculously powerful punch. The redhead?

Yeah. Okay, I remember that. Ridiculous. She sets up one of those things like at the bar where you put it in a quarter and you fucking smash that punching bag. Dude, she hits harder than guys on that thing. It's ridiculous.

If she sucker punched you, you're fucked. So if that was a Thai chick, if it was a Thai chick that could punch like she punches, and you thought you were an asshole, you're just going to fucking push her around, and you're drunk, and she just uncorks one on your chin, and your legs give out, and then she fucking shin kicks you in the face. Yeah, that's all real, man. A 135-pound athletic girl, it's very possible for that chick to kick your ass if you don't know what you're doing.

That's what I say. When I look at a girl like Tommy Jr.'s girlfriend, I say, okay, if she won too, if you didn't know what you were doing and she uncorked a couple on you before you knew it was happening, you could get knocked the fuck out. For real. So that's like, that's like the size

that you have to be, I think, to be able to survive against the average size human. At least. 135 pound woman. Yeah.

So if you're 110 pounds, you need to get on roids. Yeah. Damn, Cabin in the Woods on Rotten Tomatoes, 92%. Oh, shit. I think Eddie might be wrong. Eddie Bravo, 92 Woods on Rotten Tomatoes, 92%. Oh, shit.

I think Eddie might be wrong. Eddie, bravo. 92% on Rotten Tomatoes. Why do I have a feeling this is going to be my favorite movie of all time? Because it sounds awesome. And the guy who wrote Cabin in the Woods is also the director of the new Avengers movie. Yeah, I might go see Cabin in the Woods tonight. I know.

Well, I didn't say the directing was bad. Well, you said the movie was terrible. Yeah, whoever made that story. Oh, he wrote it? Yeah. Damn, I'm sorry, dude. I should have lied. Well, listen, man.

You have very specific tastes. You have super specific tastes when it comes to movies. What was the last werewolf movie you enjoyed? I'm not down with the werewolf did you ever see the movie kick ass that lycan underworld thing

that's it's cool to watch because of the colors and stuff yeah did you see the movie kick ass kick ass was awesome

that was great I love kick ass that was a great fucking movie that was a great fucking movie I can't wait for the sequel when is that coming out I don't know yeah that was a great fucking movie

kick ass was great I love that yeah you never did you see american werewolf in london yes but i i think i was eight the werewolf was at this convention the other day in burbank the guy played the werewolf uh horror convention what is his name pete i don't remember yeah that dude was in a couple of movies he was like a star for a little bit. There's dudes like that that become like a star for a little bit. We should respect to that guy because that's wonderful. Respect my daughter.

I don't remember his fucking name. John Lamb. David Naughton. That's his name. God damn, that thing was awesome. Look at that shit, dude. Yeah. That's cool. Oh, that thing was awesome Look at that shit dude Yeah That's cool

Oh that thing's amazing What the fuck What a crazy monster that werewolf was Those are just fun movies for me man Some people They like movies that are sad Realistic where the good guy dies Me I'm not really into that

I just want to be entertained I just want to be entertained i just want you to take me on a trip it could be no one has to die i'm not saying someone has to die i'm just saying make it unpredictable right what's your what's your like all-time favorite movie do you have an all-time favorite gleaming the cube bro i mean there's all the classics you know uh aliens part two was one of my all-time favorites. That was a good movie. I liked it a lot.

Did you like the first one? You know, Scarface, of course, and Goodfellas, and Casino, and Godfather. So you're a mafia movie guy. Did you like the first Aliens? Yes. I liked the second Alien better, but the first Alien was also really good. Alien 3 sucked. I didn't like it. I didn't mind it. I didn't second Alien better, but the first Alien was also really good. Alien 3 sucked. I didn't like it.

I didn't mind it. I didn't mind Alien 3. One of the funniest, most misunderstood movies ever for me, and most people thought it was just total shit, was Freddy Got Fingered. That's still one of my all-time favorites. I love that movie, man.

What's your favorite Star Wars? Did you like Freddy Got Fingered? Yeah. Isn't it great? Yeah. What's your favorite Star Wars movie? The labor scene when he gave birth to that baby.

That's the greatest scene ever. What was your question? I'm sorry. What's your favorite Star Wars? Did you like Star Wars? I wasn't really

into Star Wars. A little bit. A little bit. You know, like Empire Strikes Back. That was a classic. And Yoda. He was cool.

I'm not like episode one and all that new shit. They lost me. They lost me. They lost me with that. I think it's funny, though, but I know, I think it has to do with your past. You're not into anybody lying to you. You don't want any bullshit, man.

You don't want anybody. I don't want any holes in the story. You don't want anybody about to go over the cliff and digs the hammer into the side of the hill and saves herself dangling over the fucking side of the cliff holding on to a hammer i love will ferrell movies like fucking step brothers i could watch that over and over and over step brothers was one of the greatest movies ever taladiga nights tropic thunder that's probably top three greatest comedies ever if not the funniest one tropic, probably the funniest fucking movie ever. It's amazing.

All the way through, every character played an asshole in the movie, and they were all brilliant. And I like that shit. Obviously, I'm just not into superhero stuff. I'm just not into it, man. But I probably will be for my son. I probably will be. I'll probably get into it and be forced to like Lords of the Rings

and shit like that. Be forced to like Lords of the Rings? Dude, that shit puts me to sleep. That's so funny. I don't know what fucking dragons are fighting. And then the ghosts end up winning. The ghosts end up fighting. There's just like constant...

The movies with the constant Braveheart clashing. They're just like fucking just swinging at each other. Braveheart is the only one I could watch like that. All the other ones, forget about it. Who fights like that? I'd be running the other fucking way. Just going to come in with fucking swords. Fuck that shit.

I'm going to grab my kids and get the fuck out. I think that's how they rocked it occasionally. I don't think they did it that often, though. I don't think they did that crazy. I think a lot of it was sneaking up on bitches. I think that's what a lot of war was back then. Just like, shh, shh, shh. You had to convince them there was a Jesus, man.

You had to convince them you're doing this for Jesus. You're doing this for God. Like the conquistadors and all that shit. Without Jesus, they wouldn't have been able to pull that shit off. Really? But they were just raping and getting Indian pussy all over the world. Yeah. How do you get Indian pussy all over the world?

You have to bring it with you. They thought they were doing God's mission, man. They thought they were saving them. Maybe. Maybe they were having a good fucking time, too. That's possible, too. Raping and pillaging with swords. This Game of Thrones movie, or this show, is so goddamn addicted.

And that's what it's all about. Everybody just fucking people up. Is it confusing? I heard it's like there's a lot of characters and there's some points where you're just like, all right, there's just too much people. I can't say because I'm only in five episodes, but as of five episodes,

there's a couple moments where you got to go, okay, that guy's the Mad King. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, and he did that. So there was this doubt. Okay, I see what happened there. Is this kind of like the Tudors also where it's kind of geared towards women

in some weird romantic sex way? No, no, no. I don't think so. It's fucking cruel. It's a cruel show. And a lot of titties and a lot of fucking and a lot of prostitution. A lot of betrayal. Good times.

Some incest. It's a crazy fucking show. It could not have existed outside of HBO. Incest? Oh, yeah. Hot brother and sister. What? Yeah. Isn't that illegal? Oh, man.'t that illegal oh man back in the day it was normal well no it wasn't necessarily normal i don't want to tell you i don't want to give away any um any spoilers but i think according to mainstream

egyptology pharaohs would like all their sisters and all their relatives were their wives ew they had hundreds of them according to egypt mainstream egyptology that's not what i don't know anything well i think a lot of times royal families were trying to keep their bloodlines pure right they were trying to only marry within the there's some shit to that bloodline man there's some shit they were fucking their own daughters there's some shit to that bloodline that bloodline was so important they're like fuck it you're all staying in we're gonna keep this in the family well could you imagine the discrepancy too between being a king and being a peasant back then and really there's nothing you did to earn that position you're just royal family

you're the son of the son of this fucking guy who's been ruling this kingdom forever, and you just rise through the power. It's a bloodline, dude. Yeah, man. It's got to be crazy shit. We were, you know, just think about what it is, the difference between the guy who's at the very top

and the guy who's at the very bottom. And why? Because he's got royal blood. You know what's crazy? I forget the title, but this woman had the title. She was the wife that was in charge of organizing who was going to hang out

with the pharaoh she was like the event coordinator right who's also his wife right isn't that crazy ridiculous ridiculous god damn i think the way the people have always rocked it throughout history is there have been just wild freak fuck festivals these people just fuck all over the place dude how about i think that's one of the things, this Game of Thrones thing is so accurate. I think people just... People back in those days, they only lived...

They're going to get hacked to death by a fucking guy with a sword. Yeah, someone's going to get them. Someone's going to betray them or something. They're trying to get their freak on every step of the way. The Orchis of Gorn. Fuck yeah.

Kama Sutra. They were wild back then, man. It's amazing when you really think about the amount of time that went between then and now. Not that much time, if you really stop and think about it. Well, ancient religions, the ancient Chinese and the Hindus, they all believed that having sex got you closer to God. And that's how you got close. It was almost like meditation. That's all they had back then they didn't have tv that's all they had they thought sex brought you closer to god because they didn't have the internet yeah it feels great of course it

feels great that's the big trick you dummy that's all that's why you make people the universe is created of all your spirituality just went down the tubes you're like fuck that like i like how you turn it on and off you're like if it's funny fuck it you're gonna crush spirituality but you're a spiritual person right yeah well i'm certainly a nice person for sure would you consider yourself a spiritual person i don't like that word but um because i i feel like it has too many weirdo connotations i would definitely say say I try to be a very positive person. I try to be really nice to people. I go out of my way to do that.

You think there's any kind of spirituality involved in that? I think there's whatever you would want to call it. There's certainly an exchange in energy and an enhancement of each other that I feel like we all have. We all have as friends, everyone in this room. Brian, for sure. I've known Brian for a decade. We enhance each other, for sure. That's one of the reasons why I enjoy doing the podcast with him.

Man, don't know gay jokes, bro. You and I, man, we enhance each other. We've always enjoyed having these crazy conversations, even if we don't agree about a lot of shit, and we don't agree about a lot of shit, but we've always enjoyed it because I favor your opinion over everyone else's and treat it equally as if it was mine because I know you so well.

I know how your mind works. So every time you have an opinion on something, I accept it as if it's me having that opinion. I allow myself to go through the whole process. There's not a whole lot of people that you can do that with in life. There's not a whole lot of people where you go, yeah, Bob said he didn't do anything, but his fucking fingerprints were everywhere and the murder weapon was in the street in front of his house. You know what I mean?

There's few dudes where you always know where they're coming from. And I think having people like that in your life is that it's one of the most important things it's it's it's like more important than what you do for a living the most important thing is you gotta cultivate great friendships because then once you cultivate great friendships you each get better at everything else while you're involved in a friendship with someone who's also getting better you know i think my comedy right now has never i've never felt better about it and one of the things that i feel really good about it is that i hear ari is fucking killing it on the road i hear ari like packed it in vancouver and fucking crush he's got he's headlining all

these places that i do you know he's headlining big places he's doing the comedy works in denver i hear that it's awesome i take duncan on the road with me he goes on stage he gets standing ovations dude when we were in louisville duncan got standing ovations like every time just walking on stage they're going nuts and cheering that makes me feel better about comedy than anything like there's a trick to life. And a big part of it is generosity. The big part of it is appreciation for other people's success. A big part of it is being around other people that are trying to go for success

and enhancing each other along the way. You know, having a group of people that are all doing positive shit and moving forward and being, you know, doing what they want to do man and having it all come together like everybody together doing that together that's all like a big juicy enhancement like joey d has just got number one on itunes he's the number one comedy cd on itunes dude really dude he called me up he goes joe rogan i just want to thank you

very much we're doing this we're fucking knocking them dead this is just beginning we're laying bitches out he was going crazy he was full-on fired up full-on fired up he was on 100 joey diaz that's awesome he was so excited yeah but i mean how how could that have ever happened before he has his podcast you know his podcast uh beauty and the beast people love that fucking podcast duncan's podcast is he's killing it on that podcast. People love Duncan's new podcast. Always podcasts. And all of that shit happens. It builds us all up.

It helps us all. You need to start a podcast, dude, for sure. You need to do a podcast. You know what? It's just... It's easy, dude. I don't know, man. You got time.

You should seriously consider it because I think it would blow your fucking seminars to the roof. It would be a way where you could instantly talk to people, address questions. It's hard, man. The baby just came. Oh, I hear you, brother. I mean, you don't have to do it right away, but start thinking about it. And then when you get to a position where you get just a couple of free hours a week, where you think you might be able to devote to that, slide on in. Your thing will be a hit right off the bat Dude, I'm gonna do this podcast this 14 year old kid does his own podcast and he does it all on kiss every He got into kisses 14 when in 2008 that's when I got into kiss in 1978 and he's a kiss

fucking Maniac, I'm gonna do his podcast like in a week and I heard one of his podcasts and he's like a little genius he's 14 years old running a show he's the host he's like a little baby Howard Stern you didn't meet him

at a park did you no I met him through Twitter and then I you know he gave me did you have a van oh you have a van that's cool but I

you know I think about it every now and then but I I don't mind the way my life is right now Just to add something I hear what you're saying I like my life the way it is And if I added a show

Then I'd be forced to talk all the time I like just being a guest every now and then I like it Then everything stays fresh I don't know about trying to keep it together Are you going to be involved, do you think In a bloody Twitter war tonight with pro 9-11 people? I love those guys. Those guys are awesome.

That building was on fire. It's proven. Look. Look, here's a link. It was on fire. Those guys are hilarious. There's a lot of smart people on that side. There's a lot of smart people that don't think that it was an inside job.

Look, I reserve my right to not form an opinion on that. And I just look at all of it and I go, yeah, there's certainly some fuckery afoot. That Donald Rumpfeld thing is crazy. That's really crazy. That's not even Tower 7. That's not even Tower 7. How amazingly coincidental. Just if that happened alone, if that happened without the towers,

you would be like, wait a minute, what? But because the towers went down too, it was almost like there was so much chaos in one day, they got away with that panic. Perfect. It's really if you wanted to steal $2 trillion in money, if they really did steal that much money, I mean, wow. Would that not be the

greatest jacking in the history of humanity if they really did pull that off and all that was just designed to cover up their jacking of the of the records in the pentagon and then they said well you know what while we're at it let's just go to war with iraq and take their shit boom i get these big i mean if they just decided like, look, we got this, dude. Everybody's on our side. There's American flags everywhere. Let's just run with this shit.

Let's run with it. And they just ran with it. They're just storm trooping. Just taking money on CNN. And it's real, man. This is real. This is really happening with real people

and real bullets in 2012. Yeah. Scary shit, man. It's amazing. Scary. Like, how do you trust a government like that? How does Obama become that guy?

He's, like, only a few years older than me. That freaks me out. How does a guy who grew up essentially in the same era as me and who grew up around a lot of, like, leftists and a lot of, like, you know, like, he grew up around, like, he knew some dude. I believe it was a professor who was from the weather underground that radical group obama's perfect yeah obama's perfect think about it george w bush fucked up so hard the only way that we're going to keep the

power the people were about to fucking say fuck this revolution let's give him obama calm him down that was perfect that's what we'll throw we'll we'll fucking take all this shit and we'll drop obama on them calm them down they're buying another eight years maybe another longer dude that was a it was all perfect and look who did obama run against a dude who was almost dead and some crazy chick it was perfect it really is ridiculous it was whoever was putting this together probably laughing in the writing rooms they're probably fucking busting up whose idea was sarah palin that dude probably got like a million dollar bonus from some illuminati guy well meanwhile you know

she she probably could win if there was a a a sensible person who was a real powerful Republican, and he was the president, and he wanted her as the vice president, at this point in time, she might actually be able to get in. She's become such a public celebrity. And there's enough stupid people out there that don't even see what's going on. They're just flowing right with it. And if they could just coach her, if she would take some coaching, apparently she's not that good at taking coaching,

which is one of the problems with her. She became a maverick. She's out there on her own, getting crazy, telling the people what she really thinks. She became a celebrity. Isn't that amazing? This is all ridiculous, man. This is insane, this beautiful.

It's a movie. It's like, you know, it really supports the theory that we're living inside some sort of a computer-generated reality. The more preposterous things happen. Preposterous! Not another one. That's ridiculous. The more silly things happen in the news like that, the more just ridiculous scenarios play out over and over again,

the more you've got to just question. Could you imagine if it really does turn out that this whole thing is bullshit, and you wake up one day and you and your friends just, you had shot up with some weird electronic drug that takes you on some 40-year journey and then brings you back. This other dimension. Yeah, yeah, brings you back. And to you, it was only a few minutes of time.

Yeah. And that's your whole life. Man, anything's possible, man. Could you imagine how weird that would be? Life is a series of re-expanding and contracting little existences like that to take place a full lifetime inside of 10 minutes. You're born with only two skills. Only two. Fucking screaming and the sucking muscles in your mouth are so developed.

You're born, you have no control of your fucking head. You don't know what the hell you're doing with your arms. Your muscles are nowhere near being developed. Your legs are just kind of flopping around. But those sucking muscles, fully developed. And the vocal cords develop. You would think a baby would come out with weak vocal cords and they couldn't scream.

How the fuck are they screaming so goddamn loud? That's some developed shit. It's like you come in with two powers, right? You come in. Okay, you're going to get sucking. Everyone comes in with just sucking and screaming. That's it. Can't feed yourself at all.

Some dudes, I'm going to go in no fucking sucking, no screaming. I'm going to figure this shit out. Dude, it's dangerous, bro. It's dangerous. Yeah, does any baby ever come out and go, sup, sup, I'm here, sup. How everybody doing? Yeah. I mean, are there, you know, there's a, I don't know if you call it a movement or what

it is, but there's people out there that believe in indigo children. Do you know what this is? Have you looked into it? No. Supposedly, this is like some crazy ass new age shit, that there are children that are born nowadays that are super smart like right when they're born i can they're super enlightened and i don't this this is probably all bullshit but if you go on youtube type in indigo children and they're like

super brilliant enlightened kids they're called autistic i don't i don't know maybe maybe it's a form of certainly a little bit of that right right maybe maybe i don't know but i've never met a a genius autistic kid of you isn't it crazy i think that they all are aren't most like like if you look at any of these movies like you know definitely wapner definitely wapner but they always have like this memory you know where they oh yeah yeah remember a thousand things they're almost like on a what if they're a step past us and they're they're just not into all the gossip and bullshit of normal day lives but yet they're fucking figuring out right you know well you know at a certain point in time the question becomes like what is is all of our emotions and all of our caveman ideas and genetics is all that really going to be

effective do we need all these crazy emotions do we need all this this this weird way of interacting with each other after a while can that become something else and it could become something that's maybe more effective mathematically and something that's maybe just not not as inclined to be swayed by emotion you know that it's just like a little detached a little detached from the human experience but much more elevated in a certain way i mean we look at it like it's a disease but on some of them maybe it's not you know look at look at it like it's a disease, but on some of them, maybe it's not. Look at the language. Look how we're texting back and forth, how we're Twittering.

We're not even using real words anymore. This in 20 years is autism. Yeah, that's a really good point because if you think about how much is lost in a text message, man, the only people that I like texting with are people that I'm already close with because then I could, if you text me,

where are you at? I'm inside your mother's pussy. You know, you could laugh at each other. You know what I mean? You could joke around. We're all going to be autistic holograms in the future. That is really possible. We're going to be like Tupac at Coachella.

Tupac looks like he's been doing MMA. Like maybe he's been training with Pablo Popovich. Maybe he's been doing Pablo Popovich's strength and conditioning routine because he looked yoked. Yeah, in 1980. In 1980? His clothes were all like just cheesy old 90s clothes

or 80s clothes. How did they do that? Did they use actual footage of him and just make holograms of that? I don't know. I think they just used 10 million dollars. How long has Coachella

been around for? Wow. 15 years? Was Tupac alive when Coachella was around? Did he ever play at Coachella? No, I'm not sure. Well years Was Tupac alive When Coachella was around Did he ever play at Coachella No I'm not sure

Well this This Tupac was saying What's up Coachella So was that an actor Yeah I think it was an actor I think the whole thing was an actor The whole thing Was like a fake Tupac

Yeah yeah yeah That was a CGI And that was Someone else's voice Ew There's something creepy about it His voice is easy to copy Gorillas

He's got a very distinctive voice The band Gorillas I don't know if you know anything about Gorillas, how they turned into a real band. They've actually been doing this for a while using holograms. Really? Their latest one, I guess, is, I don't know if it's out yet or not, but they were going to be doing the same kind of technology as this, but where they go out into the crowd.

They have a walkway where fashion models use, where their band members will walk out in hologram style. Dude, soon, soon you could like do, you know,

you record one concert, bam, you go home. Yeah, yeah. They just use holograms. What's the coolest thing about this is that it exists

and that even though the price tag for it was $10 million, but seeing a movie for your first time back in whenever, the 20s or 30s, a silent movie, you used to be like, wow, look at this amazing thing.

And now you have it on your phone. So the cool thing about this technology is that you know it will be coming to us in a cheaper way, a form factor somehow, and we're all going to be Star Wars-ing around with our Princess Leia's telling us to help somebody. Help me, Obi-Wan. You're my only hope.

Yeah. Yeah, no shit. And that was terrible technology. Princess Leia looked like shit. That's going to fucking bring porn back big. Yeah. Can you imagine that?

Wolf Blitzer. Or ex-girlfriends. Hologram ex-girlfriends. Yeah. Wolf Blitzer. Yeah. Ew. Yeah.

Would that be considered cheating? No. If you had holograms and you just like... Well, you can't fuck a hologram, so no, it's not cheating. Yeah, but it would be like having old photos of your girlfriend. No, no, you fuck a hologram, but you just like Well you can't fuck a hologram So no it's not cheating Yeah but it would be like Having old photos of your girlfriend

You fuck a hologram But you use the fleshlight Hmm Maybe Hmm But the hologram Is just a video thing You're not going to be able

To touch it But you use the fleshlight You'd have to hold on You'd hold on the fleshlight And you could put the hologram Right on you Like she's lap dancing And you jack the

I think The fleshlight You're better off Just getting real close to it And looking at it And just I think it'll work Yeah Oh it'll definitely work The flashlight. You're better off just getting real close to it and looking at it. I think it'll work.

Just ejaculate on top of a flashlight. Or you take an ugly chick, put her inside a hot hologram, and the hologram moves to her. She controls it. So she has a thin layer of a hologram around that ugly body. You might be able to hologram your face. Oh, that's a hologram. That's body. You might be able to hologram your face. Oh, that's a hologram. That's true.

Good point. Can you imagine that? You hologram some fucking beautiful person right on your face. Makeup's going to be a hologram in the future. Hell yeah. That'd be cool.

Well, yeah. Have you seen her without a hologram? Yeah, you could put your whole face on. You could put a different face on. Imagine going out

and you're talking to a girl and you see like, you see a little disturbance. Oh, shit hologram hologram fuck a lot of times you can go fuck a hologram the only thing is like your dick like the the first like half an inch of our lips is like transparent like you can see through it as your dick goes yeah what's going on yeah wait this is all in here it's really a. It's a lot of dudes. I have something to tell you. That's my butt. Isn't it cool being able to change clothes?

You know, like, I want a suit. Yeah, you can just walk around naked with a hologram on. Imagine if... I mean, what the fuck, man? There's a lot of places where that might actually be... That might feel nice. Dude, big hologram dicks. Dude, that would be huge, right?

Girls would go to grab it and fall for it. Hey, where is it? Try to grab it and fall on your face. It's a dog. Oh, a dog face. That's a fucking interesting idea that we could eventually change the actual visual appearance of things. You know, that we could do it. Have you ever seen those walls there's like a certain kind of wallpaper they have that

has like e-paper lights and and yeah like e-paper what is it and it changes yeah like what what is it you turn it on and like what is it what does it do exactly well it pretty much is like a foldable lcd screen where you'll be able to like in the future i don't know what that one is but but the the technology is out where eventually we will have walls where that would be a screen and you could turn it onto a texture or a color of a wall you turn on a tv on the wall you know you can make windows where we'll be able to like skype in one corner on the other side have just you know like a fireplace minority report type shit that's happening man that's on the way edgy brah isn't it weird how they we've got fat and ugly mastered?

You can make someone look fat and ugly, but they can't do good looking. What do you mean? Fake good looking? You know, like Big Mama's house? Oh, right, right, right. You know, the fat suits? Yeah. What if fat became hot in 20 years?

It probably would happen. And dudes are getting fat suits and shit? It used to be hot. It used to be for girls it used to be a sign of her being from wealth cause she could fatten her ass up while everybody else

was starving to death plus she was warmer imagine back then back then all you needed was like turkey and fucking all this food on the table and people thought

you were rich as fuck like oh my god look at all the food this bitch just keeps eating you just keep eating food like if you're a fat fuck that was awesome. It's like, you just can just sit around and eat.

There was dark times in this species' history where people were just scrounging and scratching, and it got to the point where fat, obese people were sexy because they were desirable. It's so rare. So rare someone just can lay around and do nothing and eat. I can see that coming back, for sure. Sure.

Sure, if dark times come, right? Someone just can lay around and do nothing and eat. I can see that coming back for sure. Sure. Sure. Dark times come, right? I wonder when grabbing chicks by the head and dragging them through the fucking dirt became illegal. Well, it might be on the way back. You look at this Chris Brown thing. Chris Brown is a huge star. Beat up Rihanna. Still a huge star.

Again? Bigger star than ever. No, he didn't beat her up again. But you know what I mean? Never really, I mean, people, it didn't really hurt his career. People talk shit about him, but it actually probably made him bigger. And now they're friends again. So it's probably getting more acceptable.

I don't think you should do it, by the way. There's some people that accuse me of being a misogynist, Brian, online. And I'm so sad. You've always been. I'm so sad you think that. I've known you and people think that. It's so sad. Listen, but if you're a dumb cunt yeah i'm a

misogynist against dumb cunts only but i'm not like against like regular women i like regular women regular women are some of the nicest people i know you know they're not burdened by a lot of the testosterone issues that men have i don't have any problem with most women but dumb dudes it's the same if you if you don't like dumb dudes and you start shitting on dumb dudes, nobody ever says, you fucking hate dudes. Exactly. You hate men. But if you have any scenario where a chick says something stupid, even if you generalize and say, like, chicks shouldn't be president,

I don't think men should give birth either. Don't get me wrong. I mean, it's not an even exchange here. But I certainly am not a misogynist by any stretch of the imagination or anything. Just don't filter yourself on sexist. You know, if somebody's being a fucking idiot you you'll say if the guy or a girl and i think that's what it is a lot of times i try to be as is nice as possible about especially now

you know like when especially when you're talking to a chick like a lot of times chicks are a little bit more sensitive to criticism or the potential possibility that you're a mean asshole and you're gonna say something mean to her. I try to be a lot nicer about it. Are you going to go pee? I'm going to pee real quick. All right, good luck with that. Are you going to take a commercial break?

No, we're just going to talk about me being a misogynist and a homophobe or something. I don't know, neither of those things. I'm no perfect person, but when I tell you that my real, true, honest feelings and intentions and how I express them on this podcast. You're definitely not a homophobe at all. That silly i'm neither that nor am i a sexist person i try to be real even with there's a lot of things i don't like don't get me wrong i'm not in i'm not like a person without angst or a person that doesn't get upset at things and i'm certainly not enlightened in any

shape or form but i'm pretty even about what i like and don't like if you're nice i like you i'm i'm fucking easygoing guy there's a lot of comedians that i don't even i can't even watch their act they're terrible but if they're nice to me i'm nice to them i'm nice to everybody that's nice to me that's how i treat the world and if you're a woman and you're nice to me we're friends period it's it's that simple but for whatever reason reason, if there's ever any conflict of you with a woman, with a woman? With a woman. With women, folks.

If there's any conflict ever and it's documented online, you're automatically going to point to that one moment in time. Like a woman heckler or a feminist or any of that shit. That's the feminist. The feminist video is a perfect example of me trying to not get into a thing with her. I didn't want to. I was trying to be nice i i try to be nice always until until you can't be nice anymore and then you're like get out of here bitch you know that's it's not my preference my preference is certainly to be nice and you too man one of the nicest guys i know you know one of the cool things

about jujitsu is that the the dudes that do it generally speaking are so much more relaxed ego wise than your average guy. And you meet so many nice guys. Like, so many people, when they have their ego in check, when they do jiu-jitsu, and it's fucking hard. It's not easy to go out there and put your ass on the line, and you work all day, and you're tired, and then you go to a fucking jiu-jitsu class,

especially when you're a beginner. That shit is hard as fuck. You get your ass kicked. It's terrible. But if you can get through that gauntlet, if you can get through that, becomelet, if you can get through that, become a blue belt, become a purple belt, there's like certain qualities

that those guys have about them. They're just more relaxed. Like Mike Maxwell, the guy who does my poster. Do you see my poster that I did for the Chicago show? No. Dude, this guy's so talented.

And he just did another one for me for the Atlanta show. His website's MikeMaxwellArt.com. He's a blue belt. And he trains with Noguera down in San Diego. He's good with graphics. Yeah, great with graphics. Great, brilliant, brilliant artist.

Designs t-shirts and shit. But he's got that same sort of personality about him. He's a great guy. He's easygoing because the dude trains. He trains. He doesn't have any weird insecurity issues like a lot of people have. So there's a lot of dudes out there, I think, in not having a martial art. And obviously, I'm extremely biased when I voice this opinion.

And it's not for everybody. Obviously, I don't think it's for Brian. Everybody's personality is different. Brian has no desire to do any of that stuff. But for a lot of people, they do. But you're not insecure about getting in a situation where you get into a fight with guys. You'll just get out of there. There's a lot of guys who, when their manhood is threatened,

they want to puff up their chest and they can get in trouble, and it's a scary moment for them. I'm the extreme opposite of that. You are. So I don't say it's for everybody. We all have our own paths in life. But for a lot of people, it can fucking help tremendously. It's a missing part of our lives.

Our whole body, the system, the way the mind operates is all essentially set up for conflict. We're set up for physical activity, for conflict. We're set up for figuring out who's the alpha of the chimpanzee, the human thing, whatever the fuck we are. Every animal has alpha, every primate rather, has like that alpha structure. And that's what we have too. We have this constant competition, but it doesn't happen. And instead it manifests itself as business, which is weird and buttoned down with strange clothes and weird rules and no swears. And there's a lot of restrictions. There's a lot of suppressing the true instincts of the animal, the human organism. And jujitsu allows

you to express the true instincts of the animal organism in a safe way that actually you benefit from and you develop character from. And there's a real benefit to that, that obviously you experience, obviously I experience, and you give out when you're teaching jujitsu. What you're doing with 10th Planet Jujitsu, with the website, with offering the mastering the system so you can watch different techniques and learn from them online, what you're doing is you're spreading this incredible tool to become a better human being. You're spreading this incredible tool to help you master your own personal space a little bit better look at that eddie bravo well thank you very much educating bitches thank you thank i appreciate that you know you say you were saying that it's terrible and you get your it's it's

awful in the beginning you don't mean that let me clarify that he doesn't mean it's terrible like you have just a terrible time no he means terrible like if you started playing a new video game for the first time and you're going one-on-one against people, they would be killing you and it's terrible. You're losing all the time, but no one's really getting hurt. You're not going to get hurt in jiu-jitsu. It's not terrible where you're getting hurt. You might get hurt at the same rate as you would playing basketball three times a week.

You're going to fuck your shoulder up. You might fuck your knee up, twist an ankle. It's the same thing. I've been doing jiu-jitsu 18 years. I've never needed surgery. That's pretty amazing. Yeah, and I know a lot of guys like that. Eventually, you can tweak your knee.

You might tear an ACL. You might need some surgery. But it's actually super safe. Yeah. When I say terrible, what i really mean is like you're not going to win that's all it is it's really fun to learn though and you before you even spar you're going to go through drills where you're shown the technique and you execute it on someone who is not resisting and by learning it that way you know you do and put in the repetitions

you eventually absolutely can develop those techniques the beautiful thing about the techniques of jujitsu is most of them don't even require any real unusual physical attributes you don't have to be unusually strong you just have to have leverage and position and a lot of people could apply a lot of people out there don't even work out if you taught them a rear naked choke and then you let them put it on you they could put you to sleep people don't even work out they don't even train the techniques are really that effective you know so you'll get better it's 100 you'll get better you just have to put in the numbers and that's one of the things that i really always appreciated about the way you uh talk about jujitsu is that you are always really humble in that that regard and you always make sure that you let people know that there's nothing unusual about you you're not

a great athlete this is not this is all just thinking and putting in the numbers and doing the proper technique and anyone can do it and you children do yeah yeah children do it old ladies do it it's never too late to do it yeah you can it doesn't matter if you're 50 or 60 42 if you want to learn how to subdue someone and put them to sleep scientifically in a very non-violent way, you're doing it with a bunch of nerds. Jiu-Jitsu itself is a douchebag filter. We've talked about that before. Douchebags can't handle getting tapped, can't handle losing a game of death.

Even though no one gets hurt, their ego gets hurt. So it automatically keeps douchebags out. So that's a few sneak in. Yeah, every now and then they do. But every time I'm on the podcast, we talk about this. I know I'm beating everyone over the head with this, but there's jiu-jitsu everywhere. Practically every city has a jiu-jitsu school.

Find a jiu-jitsu school, whether it's Nogi or Gi. Get into it because within a year, and time flies, within a year, sometimes even six months, depending on how fast you pick it up, but at the most a year, you will be able to take an untrained man, a dude who doesn't do jujitsu obviously and most people don't. If anything goes wrong at the movie theater with your family, with your kids, with your girlfriend, someone steps up, you will have the confidence to put that guy to sleep and just extinguish the problem and it gives you so much confidence in not just those type situations but in everyday situations in business and meetings

you just say it gives you so much confidence knowing if anything goes down you're safe dude i wonder if they're ever going to be able to come out with a jujitsu dummy that is a robot that works on a computer and knows how to execute moves yes like if you yeah because if you see like these i don't know if you'd want to roll with it because it might fucking kill you yeah right yeah because maybe if we could they could get it to be like super sensitive you know maybe man i don't know man the way they're doing it now the robots they have now they can push them while they're running and they like lean over and then rebalance themselves and come back up like they're doing it now, the robots they have now, they can push them while they're running, and they lean over and then rebalance themselves and come back up.

They're getting super, super advanced. And I think it's the human body, like the anatomy, they already understand it completely. They know exactly where the bones go. They know if they created some sort of an artificial structure that mimicked bone mass, and they figured out a way to power it and move it around, and then figured out a way to make it ultra ultra sensitive to compression and and how much it's squeezing and how what what position it's in and then make it work like a jujitsu fucking fire but it couldn't finish you it's just he had really good defense so you worked on your offense like he's constantly escaping your shit you want him to

attack a little bit though scary scary yeah maybe you have to calibrate that? Scary. Yeah, maybe you have to calibrate your neck. You know what I mean? You have to calibrate your neck to make sure it doesn't squeeze beyond this point. Ooh, that's scary. Two people a year are going to die. You know that. Two a year at least. The tapping malfunction.

But you look, cigarettes kill a lot of people, and they're still smoking cigarettes. There'll be people fighting for it. Yeah, if two responsible guys, they weren't trained. That would be the argument. We would say, listen, man, cigarettes kill 400,000 people every year. A few dudes got jacked by their jiu-jitsu dummy. I'm not getting jacked by mine. And you could buy one if you were really a lokester.

You could buy a black belt one. And it's talking shit as you take it out of the box. Like, really, bitch? You think you're ready for this? Really, bitch? Can you imagine? Well, you could get a white belt one and just fucking strangle it. Or you can get different kind of athletes, like a 190-pound football player,

like one of those ridiculously powerful and explosive defensive end dudes. How big would a defensive end be? 285 pounds. How about that? How about a 285-pound one? And you only attack it. It only does defense. You just got to attack that fucking thing.

It's constantly trying to peel you off of it. But it gets tired like a 280 pound man too maybe it only has a certain they calculate it's anaerobic capacity like if it's muscles are like Bob Sapp style big you just gotta figure out how to ride it but it won't ever spike you on your head like Bob Sapp would nice

it's possible right I think maybe by 2023 I wonder if anybody ever bought a gay It's possible, right? I think maybe by 2023. I wonder if anybody ever bought a gay real doll to use it as a jiu-jitsu dummy. They'd be like, yeah, I'm just choking it. It's very realistic. I don't like, I mean, when I do choke it, I fuck it. But that's, listen, this is the survival of the fittest. Have they made massive advancements with the real doll?

Because Howard Stern used to push that 20 years ago. The real doll must be amazing, or did they plateau? That's a good question. Let's go see right now. The biggest problem is that even though they are definitely better now, there's actually companies that make real doll knockoff. They're the same technology as real doll, but they do better. Every year, do they keep getting better?

Are there real doll conventions? We had a guy on one of our shows uh nutty showed a christmas roast video and they had a couple real dolls there and they were awesome looking but then the vagina which felt like a uh fleshlight ripoff like it wasn't as good it's like it's like you're reviewing an iphone right now like the latest iphone so for fucking I don't think it's there. I really do think the flashlight's one of the best feeling because of their patented rubber and stuff like that. You put a fucking flashlight inside one. You got to put one in there.

Yeah, absolutely. So you don't have to clean the whole thing. Yo, they have tranny ones. Look at this. Tranny what? They have tranny real dolls. They have a real doll that's a girl with a dick. Yeah.

And it looks like her bush is shaped in the Tap Out logo. Oh, my God. That's hilarious. Are people watching this? No, they can't see it. Are you sure that's real? That's not fake? No, go to realdoll.com and look at SheMail001.

Throw that up on there. How much is that? Oh, we can't put it on Ustream. Jesus Christ, what am I talking about? Listen we can't put it on Ustream Jesus Christ What am I talking about Listen don't listen to me This is completely illegal Did you get shut down?

Ustream shut you down? Yeah well here's the thing It's cool that you talked about this Ustream is a business You know like they have advertisers And while they've been nice enough To take the advertising Off our shows

And stuff like that They do have to kind of Have this kind of policy. Yeah, about content. Yeah, one of the policies is, believe it or not, marijuana use, any kind of drug use. While it might be legal in California, showing us to take bongs and stuff like that.

So is it from the Ice House Chronicles? It's from a couple things. Ice House Chronicles, there was a naughty show that I just put up today where there was a quick nudity where the girl took off her clothes and I grabbed the camera right at the last second and I think there was a little bit of nudity that show. But still,

I pulled the video immediately when that happened so no one else could see it. But I still think there's a lot of people that watch this that marijuana would bug Kodak or Ford Motors if they were a sponsor. They're not going to be like, why are we sponsoring fucking bong hits and stuff? Eddie Brown would just say the government planned 9-11.

Yeah. That would be okay. It's fishy. I mean, it's totally understandable, so I just got to remember that for future use. But luckily, Brad is a good buddy of ours. So he hooked me back up. Did he tell you to delete those or anything? No, I just pulled them.

I already had them pulled. I think it was automatic. So people want to watch those on Vimeo? Yeah, Vimeo. Just go to DeathSquad.tv. DeathSquad.tv on Vimeo. Yeah, that's a tricky situation. Yeah, I could see that.

There's a lot of parts of this country where they have archaic marijuana laws. Like, we'd sit there and do shots on camera and there's no problem at all. We might have to limit it to a drinking room. Smoke outside. Vimeo has no rules? Do you put any music you want on it? No, they have rules.

It's just they're a little bit more lenient because you're paying for it and there's no advertising involved. Vimeo is more of a paid service where you can have a director and you have a short movie that has nudity in it and most likely you're gonna be fine because it's kind of art about music you could use anybody's business no I wouldn't say you could use anyone's music but there's also the the

laws on music's really fucking weird anyways like I they tell you do not use any you know music but if you're talking over music and it's in a background and you know does that count or who knows a talking over music and it's in a background, then, you know, does that count? Who knows? A lot of gray areas for that. I'm going to Giorgio Suculis' site to look at his new clothes. Oh, dude. He's got the greatest shirt ever.

He's got a purple shirt that has his face in white really big with his hair. You know, his hair's bigger than ever. And it says Suculicious. Oh, my goodness. No, he doesn't. Oh, my God. I'm looking at it. It's the greatest shirt ever. I would wear my goodness. No, he doesn't. Giant. Oh my God.

Purple shirt. I'm looking at it. It's the greatest shirt ever. I would wear that on the podcast, Giorgio. You got to get me one of these, you silly bitch. Look at this. Sukalicious. Hey, he's running with it, man.

He's running with that whole UFO thing, dude. He's really funny on 4chan. Have you ever seen him? He goes on 4chan? No, no, no. Oh, the photoshops. The memes. Yeah. Did 4chan get someone killed seen him he goes on 4chan no no no wait oh the photoshop memes other memes yeah did 4chan get someone killed probably is that true i guess how you didn't hear that this no i didn't know something some fire related thing someone said someone said that it was on

but it could be totally a troll probably is who knows but i i wouldn't i i could believe that i mean 4chan is just a collection of people. It's a question. Did 4chan get someone killed is the question. I love 4chan and Anonymous. Yeah, I do too. I don't know. I'm reading this off some fucking wonky website.

It could be totally horseshit. They keep busting those dudes, though. It just said another 4chan user gets busted by the fbi oh that it was already that was a while ago actually what do those guys do exactly what 4chan yeah everyone's terrified of anyone like that anonymous 4chan anybody's on the internet who just fuck your shit up kid i don't know what the 4chan guys are the 4chan is a little different that's just a message it's a crazy forum right it's like the most brutal forum on the whole internet it's just like a photo board

like it's just fun photos and a lot of creepy sex shit but like a lot of the like internet memes originate there right the lolcats didn't they originate there I'm not 100% sure

but yeah that's the theory right the memes are pictures with the text on it oh dude there's one on my message board there's a picture of a dude all fucked up, and he's all bleeding, and on top it says,

at first I thought it was a great idea to throw trash into the dolphin pool, but I didn't know Matt Horwich was standing right behind me. He's all fucking jacked. That's funny. That's hilarious. Those are great, man. Internet, like random Internet comedy

that comes out of some of those things, some so fun man they're so fun some really hilarious things have been created on it the sucralose ones i'm not saying it's aliens but it was aliens there's like so many of them with him with his fucking hair all crazy and the meme is an alien meme some of those are so funny dude there's some funny fucking people out there that are trapped in regular jobs. I'm hoping that's what America, that's what's going to be our next industry. Funny shit we produce on the internet

where eventually people figure out how to make a living just completely straight from the internet creating either podcasts or web series or different things they do. There's a lot of funny fucking dudes out there. Definitely for entertainment, this is the best time in the whole entire world ever.

Ever. Like if you're a musician. By the way, Honey Honey's new video that we're in, it comes out Thursday. Oh. And I think it's going to be on ifc.com or something like that. HoneyHoneyBand.com. Brian and I were in a music video, bro.

Really? Yeah, I was air guitaring, playing with my butt. Yeah, I was playing with his butt. Nice. No, we were just standing around looking like retards, really. bro really yeah i was air guitar and playing with my butt yeah i was playing with his butt nice no it's uh we were just standing around looking like retards really acting we're hanging out at a party we're a date at a party we're a date other people got girls mandates yeah we're on a mandate it's gonna reaffirm the haters told you to the director you're like uh hey is it okay we were just like slow dancing or something like that yeah they kind of

talked us out of it that would have been cool i know i thought it would be cool yeah i think they were like uh well that would have been rude though we're sending a weird message in the middle of their video it's not our business to do that turn your video into a gay porn a gay love-a-thon yeah they were at coachella i listened uh in my hotel room i was in um fort lauderdale and in the hotel room i was watching the live coachella feed on you stream or youtube rather it's pretty badass it's great you go full screen with it it's totally hd it looked amazing it was really fun really uh it was fun to watch they're uh they're fucking killing it out there man they're gonna be back next weekend she got are they what are they doing this weekend coachella again oh

really yeah she was on on stage and talking about how uh suzanne was that she the last time she was there she was selling barbecue at one of the stands so she was like so just to let you know barbecue is the route to the stage here coachella nice she's so hot she's ridiculously talented too ridiculously that that chick's voice is amazing there's i got a thing online with some fucking dude on the board just got so cunty about some there's this chick named nikki blum i think her name is and she does that uh rendition of linda ronstadt's you're no good while inside of a um inside a van have you heard it you haven't seen it dude you gotta you gotta hear this just put it on for a couple minutes because it's it's them singing this song in a van and this this chick

has a fucking incredible voice just nicky blu hm or something like that you're no good while you apostrophe what did someone say or, he said some dude was, Oh, some dude was shitting on it. Like, you know, I, I,

I was saying, you know, how, how much talent this chick has. And some dude was like, you know, no, that sucks.

It's shit. This is better. And I, I fucking get crazy when people tell me that what you like sucks. Like, why, why? It doesn't,

you don't like it, but you can't say it sucks. That chick can fucking sing, man. It might not be your style of music. It might not be something that you would get into. It might not be in the right frequency to tune into it. You might not enjoy that kind of music. But so many people enjoy it.

It's the one in the upper left. The yellow one? Yeah. Nope, above it. That one. Are you allowed to play it on your podcast? Yeah, you can No, above it, above it. Okay. That one. Are you allowed to play it on your podcast? Yeah, you can play this for a couple seconds.

Check it out. One, two, three. They're just driving. I heard this before. Listen to this chick's voice, man. Brian, can you move your arm for a second? Feeling better. Now that we're through. Feeling better. Cause I'm over you. Can you move your arm for a second? Damn, that bitch can sing.

Where's she smoking? I'm going to say it again. You're no good. You're no good. You're no good. That bitch can sing. Where's your smoke cigarette? I love that voice, man. Her voice is awesome. That's like soulful. You know, that's a... Smoky. Oh, dude. It's a hot video, man.

Cigarettes. It's inspirational, too. I like that they're on their way to a gig and they're just playing in a van you know and she's just sitting there with an iphone and recording and it's beautiful man there's not there's no special effects there's no nothing and it's one of my favorite videos man i'm i'm that's a i don't know what it is man but a chick with a badass voice it like makes my body feel better like it it soothes me it puts me into a frame of mind that is almost unavailable to me without like beautiful voices i love the female it's incredible right that's one of my favorite oh dude i was in a pool hall in fucking white plains new york and that first

sarah palin video or sarah palin what the fuck's that? Sarah McLaughlin. Sarah McLaughlin video came up. Possession. Yeah, you know that song. And I remember looking up and just going, God damn. And the dude was like, hey, come on, man. It's your shot. I was like, I don't even want to play anymore. I wanted to watch that video.

I was hypnotized. I was like, holy shit. Live, she kills it every time. Oh, my God. Every time, man. I was hypnotized. I was like, holy shit. Live, she kills it every time. Oh, my God. Every time, man. I went, dude, I went to last minute. Sarah McLachlan was playing Hollywood Bowl about a year ago. And I was like, I told my girlfriend, she's playing tonight.

I didn't even know. You want to go? It's not sold out. My buddy told me, dude, it's not sold out. He reminded me, you should go. So we went, just showed up. Dude, we're just just gonna buy any tickets and some guy comes up

and goes you know anybody who needs two you need two tickets you know they were from work that he got right dude like probably

maybe 20 yards from her right in front of her amazing seats we totally locked out right there in the front and she destroyed the Hollywood Bowl

she went out there barefoot and she killed it. She has this background singer because, you know, obviously on record she does a lot of layers. It's like it's ten Sarahs, sometimes three, sometimes four. It's a choir of her. But she has this backup singer that sounds just like her.

She's been with her for years. Amazing. She's like a star too. She's the chick who makes Sarah sound good because she's backing her up, you know. Wow. They're both amazing, man. It's crazy. she's probably like one of the most famous background singers no shit and is sarah mclaughlin still touring is she still yeah does she tour a lot she just got divorced

new life oh shit maybe like a year ago or something just found his new wife the the sugar mama what's up f? Fumbling towards ecstasy. How is she? That album, Fumbling Towards Ecstasy, one of the greatest albums ever, man. That's the one Possessions on. That's track one. That whole album is amazing.

Fumbling Towards Ecstasy. Incredible album. She has an insane voice. I really hate that stupid pet commercial, though. Her song using her song in that. It really killed her for me. The song you don't like? Yeah. I don't like that that song there's a lot of songs i'm not really that into i mean some albums she only has one good song the whole album you know uh but um i still love her because

overall she's got like 15 amazing songs like even surfacing had four or five great songs are you trying to find out what she looks like, Brian? Yeah. Sarah? She's still hot. Plus, she gets extra talent points. Oh, yeah. You'd just be so honored to be in her presence, presence of her vagina. If she let you into the fold.

I saw her Valentine's Day. Can you imagine you're hanging out and she's like serenading to you and shit? You'd be like a little bitch. Yeah. I bought tickets for my girlfriend to see her on Valentine's Day in like 1998, and it was like the hottest thing ever to do my girlfriend wasn't really even into sarah mclaughlin at all

until that show she got blown away it was an amazing show she kills everything her voice is never off she's amazing effortless just you know angelic voice yeah i like some song i mean i love the black keys i mean it doesn't have to be a girl singing to get me. But there's a certain thing that a girl singing does. It's a different thing. It's a different like role. Girls can do different things. They have more octaves they could sing in.

Yeah, it's just the way it reacts or the way your body rather reacts to the beautiful harmonic sound of a beautiful female voice it's like wow you know your whole body just goes wow it's an amazing thing what sound can do dude when we think about the information that's being transferred between people you know the the lyrics and the notes and all of it together and the impact that it has on your your whole body and your feeling and though you mean there's songs that give you goosebumps your songs make you want to run up hills there's songs that i used to listen to offspring when i uh when i uh would hit the bag because offspring is like everything is like fucking go go go it's all just incredible it makes you work out harder like

you listen to a fucking old offspring album that shit will make you work out hard the pace is so frenetic it makes you just to fucking attack there's nothing else that can do that no a guy standing next to you is not going to do that like there's something about music that just like fucking we used the band i was in back when i was 18 resistance we're a speed metal band we used to share rehearsal rooms with offspring whoa yeah they always used to leave the room smiling like patchouli oil i couldn't believe they got so huge like holy shit we used to practice with these guys wow it's amazing back at dc sparks and off uh in anaheim they have some of my favorite workout music ever just fucking for going crazy berserker style like for hitting things it's the

best way just if you ever do rounds on a bag or something, listen to some Offspring. It's amazing that really good music can make cardio actually go by. If you put on a fucking badass album, especially if you smoke a little weed, and a lot of people think that that's counterproductive to cardio work,

but I say, how dare you? Look at Nick Diaz. Yeah, look at Nick Diaz. Look at Joey Diaz. Still alive and kicking. Diaz. Look at Joey Diaz. Look at Joey Diaz. Still alive and kicking. Nick Diaz, Braulio Estima. Yeah. Holy shit.

I know. That's going to be May 12th, right? May 13th? May 12th. May 12th. May 12th, where is that fight? There's a World Jiu-Jitsu Expo happening in Los Angeles. I think in Long Beach or something.

I'm not sure. Either LA Convention or Long Beach. May 12th, World Jiu-Jitsu Expo. Yeah. And there's going to be a few super fights. A lot of top Jiu-Jitsu guys are doing seminars, like Robert Drysdale. I think Andre Gavow is doing a draw.

Yeah. All the big dudes. And Braulio Estima, who is arguably the best pound-for-pound Jiu-Jitsu guy on the planet. Him and Marcelo are right up there. He's going against Nick Diaz in a jujitsu match. Do you know Braulio at all? We've met a couple times. He's been totally cool.

What a fucking great guy he is. Did you meet him? I hung out with him in England. Oh, shit. Okay. In England, he was doing some translating over there. A couple times I've hung out with him. He's a great guy.

He's a great guy. He's so down to earth. He's a really nice guy. We were hanging around talking backstage at the weigh-ins at one of the shows. If you didn't know him, man, you would never assume that this guy is one of the baddest motherfuckers on earth when it comes to jiu-jitsu. Yeah. He just seems so friendly and easygoing and so unassuming.

He's going to do MMA as well. Wow. Dude, he's going to fuck some people up, man. That jiu-jitsu is nasty. He's so technical. So good. So what do you think Nick who knows it's gonna be awesome I would never say even if I thought I love listen tell you something man Nick Diaz is the opening to my podcast so yeah I'm never saying anything bad about Nick Diaz

yeah probably else to me steam is a motherfucker but shows you how ballsy Diaz is he's not just taking a super fight against anybody he's taking a super fight against the best yeah i mean he's just jumping in and and doing uh having an opportunity where he could get submitted you know easily he might shock the world can you imagine could you imagine if he'd like triangle braulio can you imagine imagine that would be especially if he was high as jesus on space shuttle. That would definitely make ESPN. Definitely. That's going to have so much coverage. Nick Diaz is a fucking UFC rock star. Yeah.

He's going to do a super fight. They never do that. He leg locked Makako. He finished Makako. Nick Diaz can finish anybody. If anybody sleeps on Nick Diaz, he can pass people. This is the biggest jiu-jitsu match

of all time. I think so. This is the biggest jiu-jitsu match of all time. Yeah, because a lot of the biggest jiu-jitsu match of all time. Yeah, because a lot of people thought that Nick Diaz should have got the nod in that fight against Carlos Condit. So that would make him, in their opinion, and that's not just a few. I've said I thought he could have won, but I could see how you could score it for Carlos too. If I would have leaned towards Nick, but it was a very fucking close fight.

Just say it was a draw. Let's pretend it was a very fucking close fight just say it was a draw let's pretend it was a draw or even just a close loss you're talking about one of the very best guys in mma going up against the very best guy or one of the very best guys in jujitsu that never happens never never this is the biggest yeah jujitsu match strike force champion i mean when was the last time i mean george saint pierre jumped jumped in and fought in Abu Dhabi in, what was it, 2003? Five. Five, 2005? Yeah, right. It was LA, right?

Yeah. Yeah, and he jumped in there, too. He wasn't as famous. He wasn't as famous. Not as nifty as he is right now. MMA wasn't as big. This was all pre-Ultimate. No, it wasn't.

Was it? But that took a lot of balls from GSP. He said, fuck it, I'm doing Abu Dhabi. GSP, he's another guy. Look how fucking nice that guy is yeah remember hanging out with him he's the nicest guy ever yeah just such a sweetheart and so unassuming again same thing so completely unassuming the fact that he would even allow me to teach him a kick that he would waste his time to come down to the gym to work out with

me you know this is just that he would even try that, you know. Just shows you what a nice guy he is. You know how crazy that video is? You know how crazy? Here we got George St. Pierre, the Michael Jordan of MMA. MMA is the hottest sport on the planet. UFC is the biggest sport on the planet or hottest, rising.

Here's George St. Pierre taking spinning back kick lessons from you? On video. Even Bruce Lee doesn't have video like that. There's no Bruce Lee video footage of Bruce showing the baddest fighter on the planet how to kick. You know what I'm saying? There's a lot of things that I'm not that good at. I'm just saying that video is fucking historic.

Oh, yeah. What I'm saying is there's not a lot of things. I'm not good at a lot of things that i'm not that good i'm just saying that video is fucking historic oh yeah well what i'm saying is there's not a lot of things and i'm i'm not good at a lot of things but there's a few things i'm really good at and i'm really good at kicking shit i can kick shit hard and that's something i've done since i was a little kid i've been throwing taekwondo kicks since i was growing dude my body was growing and before youtube before the you know the internet where it is today i knew how hard you kicked man i was trying to tell people no one would believe me i'd say dude joe roken kicks harder than anybody i've ever seen and they're like dude whatever whatever nobody believed it god damn it it's one of those things if you just anybody that just develops if

you like spend 10 years working on one specific thing, look how good Marcelo Garcia's rear naked choke is. Why? Because he just hit that over and over and over again and put those numbers. If you look at the way Jimi Hendrix used to play guitar, why could he play guitar so good? Because he just hit those numbers over and over and over and over, and it became a part of his body. The thing you can learn about someone throwing a crazy spinning back kick

is what's possible when someone just dedicates insane hours to one technique over and over and over again. So my hands were fucking terrible, dude. Until I was like 20 years old, I had no boxing technique at all. I didn't develop my hands. I learned how to throw straight punches, and I learned how to throw hooks, but when I would box with people, I would get killed. My hands were always down low. My chin was up too high. I'd get punched in the face. I used to box with my friend

Mike Blythe. He was a former professional boxer, and he used to beat me up. He would make me not be able to kick him and just put the gloves on me. He'd just kick my ass. I didn't really know how to use my hands because all that time was just spent developing kicks developing kicks but when you're trying to be like a martial arts superstar like george saint pierre a mixed martial arts guy mixed martial arts requires so many different skills you got to work on your wrestling you got to work on this you got to work on that to develop one technique that takes an incredible amount of time to get really proficient at, like those spinning crazy kicks. Those take a long time before you really develop that full body coordination like that. The moves in the 360 degree roundhouse kick when you step

and run at somebody, those are just like tying a shoelace. It just, it sinks into place where it just becomes a part of your life. I don't think, okay, now I'm going to step with the left and then I'm going to pivot on the ball of my foot and then put the heel down and then lift the knee up and then kick. I don't even think that. I just go, you just go into it. Like you do when you hit that twister roll. How many times you hit that twister roll? When you're in side control and you hook that left foot under your knee and just, just go for a ride. It's just a part of your body. It's a part of the way, you know, just go for a ride.

It's just a part of your body. It's a part of the way, you know, your body interacts with this universe. You know, it's ingrained in you. It's a path that's grooved and worn so smooth it just automatically goes. You're executive producing. You're not even making the commands no more. You're just overseeing shit.

Yeah, isn't that a weird feeling, man? When you just, especially with jiu-jitsu, it's happening too quick for you to even think. But all of a sudden, you got someone's back. There's just been this mad scramble of adjusting positions, and everything you've done has been completely on training, and everything you've done has been on repetition and drilling and just putting in the numbers. And so then while you're live, while you're actually rolling, the mad scramble happens, and your hooks go in and you got a person's back

and you don't even know what you did. You don't even know what you did. You barely know what you did. You just sort of did it. It's crazy. Same thing with playing guitar or piano. With anything, right? Shredding on piano.

They're not making any commands. They're just kind of executive producing the project. They're like, let's play that thing. And the producers take over. That inside unknown producer. Yeah. Creativity is such a. That inside unknown producer. Yeah.

Creativity is such a fucking amazing thing, man. The ability to come up with something that wasn't there. What a weird thing that is. That's so satisfying. And I know you feel it, Brian. I mean, that's how Brian and I met. Because Brian would just make everybody laugh at these silly fucking videos he would put online.

But you know that when you're putting something like that out there and then and somebody reacts to it and somebody likes it boom it just lights you up you know getting good at something creating something good that gets recognized as something good and creating something good where while you're doing it it's sort of just playing out and then oh there it is now it's done I guess everybody's ran out of gas and to this goddamn podcast. So we learned a lot today, ladies and gentlemen. We learned about positivity, positive experiences, love, flowers.

What I want to say is after that World Jiu-Jitsu Expo, that night in Hollywood, I'm having my birthday party at Bardo in Hollywood. It's on Vine, like a block north of Hollywood Boulevard. party Yes At Bardo Yes In Hollywood It's on Vine Like a block north Of Hollywood Boulevard Yes Bardo My band Smoke Serpents playing

Yes No cover Just say your What? No cover That's crazy You just said that On the Joe Rogan Experience podcast

You're gonna have What they call paggots Do you know what a paggot is? What is that? That's what the people On my message board call It's a mixture of podcast and faggot. So they call them paggets.

Well, it's no cover if you say you're there for my birthday party. Well, that's ridiculous, dude. It's going to be overwhelmed. I'm not even going to be able to come. I'm not going to be able to fit in there. It's going to be stuffed by the time we get there. I doubt it. There'll be like 12 people there.

You just fucked up, son. You just fucked up, son. You got to put a high ticket price. You're going to have a bunch of weird dudes with weird colds. They're gonna want to shake your hand. No shit, no shit. Nah, it'll be cool. So it's after that World Expo.

You go watch Nick Diaz and Brawley with Esteem. I'll go home, take a shower, go get something to eat. Then meet me for my birthday bash at Bardot. Smoke Serpent's gonna rock the goddamn house. 10thplanetjj.com. All my jiu-jitsu's up there. Click techniques. I'm thinking about being a backup dancer for this event. I'm thinking about going in drag and being a backup

dancer. Be like a bodybuilder. We need bodybuilders instead of... A blonde wig. Instead of strippers. Just dudes flexing. Yeah, just oil. I'm going to shave everything. I'm just going to shave my legs for the first time ever. Shave everything. Just go up there all oiled up. Wear some of my mannequin clothes.

Some of your mannequin clothes? I've been buying... Yeah, you got a lot of weird mannequins. Dude, that fucking Linda Blair you sent me. That thing looks dope. You're going to have an exorcist, a Linda Blair mechanical exorcist. It got shipped out yesterday or today or something like that. Oh, I'm so jealous.

I have to get an American Werewolf in London one. I got a Predator one from that dude who came to the UFC. You can probably get the original one, dude. No, no, no. That's ridiculously expensive. But they do recreations. The American Werewolf in London, they do a recreation of it. It's just big fucking on all fours.

Eddie Bravo don't give a shit about that stuff, huh? It's all good. We all have different tastes. And if anybody wants to learn some jujitsu, you want to come to Hollywood, my friend, and learn how to put a choke in, you come to Legends. Legends in Hollywood.

I'm back. My numbness is completely gone. I've been a wreck for months, man. I fucked up and pulled a muscle in my back. One of the things that happens in jiu-jitsu, jiu-jitsu is so fun that when you get injured, you don't think, man, I got to stop doing jiu-jitsu. You just think, well, how long do I have to wait

before I can do jiu-jitsu again? Yeah. I'm going to heal my shit back up. So I'll be there soon. And that's Legends in Hollywood is on Santa Monica Boulevard and it's east of the 101. The address is? It's 5176 Santa Monica Boulevard.

Enter on Kingsley. It's called Legends MMA. That's where 10th Planet Headquarters is located. Also, I got 30 locations worldwide. Go to 10planetjj.com. Also, I got 30 locations worldwide. Go to 10planetjj.com. Also, I got some seminars coming up. Phoenix, April 28th. Spokane in May.

Chicago, January or June 9th. Stockholm, two-day workshop in Stockholm, June 16th, something like that. I got El Paso coming up. Just go to the Nibiru Forum at 10thPlanetJJ.com. That's where all the seminar info is. Phoenix is first, though. Two weeks. When will you have something

will Snake, Smoke Serpent, rather, have something that people can buy? Oh, you can go on iTunes. You buy right now? Yeah, you can go on iTunes and the song Jiu-Jitsu, which you could also, there's a video for if you go to YouTube, search Jiu-Jitsu, Smoke Serpent. We got a video up. Dropped and Jiu-Jitsu, which you could, also there's a video for if you go to YouTube, search Jiu-Jitsu, Smoke Serpent.

We got a video up. Dropped and Jiu-Jitsu are both available on iTunes now. Are you eventually going to put like a full CD out? Yes, yes.

Track at a time as we finish them, you know, so. All right, my brother, as always, big time fun. We didn't even get a chance to talk about John Jones

and Rashad Evans. Fuck. I'm going to have to go with Jon Jones, man. Yeah. I think he's just too much. He could get caught. Rashad does have power. He does have speed.

He does have explosiveness. We might see Jon Jones just collapse and drop by a big bomb. But my money's on Jon Jones. I think he's going to be cautious. I think he's going to out-wrestle Rashad and beat him up on the ground. Wow. That would be amazing to see because Rashad looked amazing against Phil Davis, especially in the scrambles.

Wound up on top virtually every time. And his stand-up was just Phil Davis couldn't handle the stand-up. Rashad was good. He looked really solid. And before that, finished off Tito. I think Rashad's pretty underrated. I think one of the things that you've got to think and you've got to take into consideration is the fact they trained a lot together, so they're both going to know each other's little idiosyncrasies. And I'm sure each of them have taken that into consideration and adjusted,

but it's going to be fascinating to see what each one knows about each one. I know there was some moments that they had talked about where Rashad had had success in training, when John was tired and he was holding him down. They made reference to this many times. So so it's gonna be interesting to see how much John has progressed since then because if you look at the way he fights fucking guys like every time you see him he's like this newer better version more confident more more relaxed total destruction every time destruction I mean the way he strangled with Leo Machida and then just dropped him down

there I mean that's their common opponent right and you know machida of course was the first guy to uh not the only common opponent they fought rampage as well but machida was the first guy and the only guy in the ufc to beat rashad but rashad won the ultimate fighter as a fucking heavyweight and then dropped down to light heavyweight and he's still one of the smaller light heavyweights you know i think uh he's a dangerous guy for anybody at 205 and i think knowing as much as he knows about john jones this is going to be really fascinating really interesting to see because john is so he's he looks like a muhammad ali right now you know what i mean he looks like a mike tyson he looks like a sugar ray leonard when he was in his prime he looks like one of these dudes like man this dude is just

gonna start dominating the world you know He's already dominating the world. He's already destroying Shogun and winning the title and taking out Rampage and taking out Machida and putting him to sleep. I mean, he's just on another level, man. He's on another level, and it looks like he's, what is he, 24 or something like that? How old is he? He's the youngest guy to ever win the UFC title. I mean, I don't think he's even 24 maybe he is what if you were in a coma the last fucking five years and you woke up and people were trying

to fill you in on this john jones guy and they were just telling you exactly what you just said all the guys that he totally went right through and destroyed credible he would be blown away yeah i'd be completely he's 24 yeah he's 24 24 years old and just every time you see him you're seeing it just a giant leap in his progress. That age, when you're really young like that, god damn, you can learn quick. God damn. When you're fully dedicated and as intelligent as he is. It's going to be interesting to see how good he gets at jiu-jitsu.

Because most MMA fighters, they get to a point, and once they become famous, their jiu-jitsu kind of plateaus. they get to a point and once they become famous their jiu-jitsu kind of plateaus. You don't see guys, famous guys in the UFC all of a sudden get amazing with their jiu-jitsu.

They kind of plateau once they become famous. But Jon Jones, he hasn't plateaued yet. His jiu-jitsu looks better and better. When he gets really good, like Marcelo good, and he can.

He's a bad motherfucker. He can. But you know what? I'm really curious to see how they match up. I'm really curious to see what happens. I think this is going to be so fascinating. Because obviously Rashad acted as some sort of a mentor to John in the beginning. It's very obvious.

You know, there's so much history. And they're so good. I think, like, stylistically, Rashad's the most dangerous guy for John Jones right now. And if he gets through Rashad, then the big most dangerous guy for Jon Jones right now. If he gets through Rashad, then the big question becomes, what does he do now? Does he go to heavyweight? Who is he going to fight at 205 now? Maybe Gustafsson, because Gustafsson just looked really good with Tiago Silva. He could fight some guys, but there's no one standout guy. Maybe Dan Henderson. Dan Henderson stands out. Dan Henderson said he wants a title shot. He'll

fight Anderson at 85 85 or he'll fight John Jones at 205. I think he prefers to fight at 205. That could be interesting. Henderson's a fucking beast, man. You can't count him out with anybody.

Henderson's a scary dude. And you know what? Who knows? Maybe Fedor goes at 205. Maybe he... Can you imagine him cut up at 205? Those guys are just

too big for him. Bigfoot was just too big for him. He just couldn't handle it. The Dan Henderson fight, shit. Most people lose to Dan Henderson, and he was in it. I think Fedor's still in the mix, man, but I think he really needs

to start training and eating right and get down to 205 and dominate there. He's certainly got still nasty skills on his feet. His submissions have always been great. It just doesn't seem like he fights with the same sort of passion that he used to have for it. I think it's inevitable.

Guys, they have a certain amount of time in this game, and after a while, you hear him talk about it, and he says it's God's will. He's really more into religion these days than he is, I think, into going out and fucking people up. So I've always been a Fedor fan. I thought the days when he was, I think, into going out and fucking people up. So I've always been a Fedor fan. I thought the days when he was dominating in pride, he was one of the most exciting guys in the world to watch.

He was amazing, man. But all fighters, they go through a cycle. The greatest of all time, they all go through a cycle where they're almost unbeatable, and after a while there's some deterioration or the talent pool increases, which is one of the things that I certainly think happened in the UFC. I think the talent pool has gotten bigger and bigger.

And Fabrizio Verdum, the first loss, you just cannot fuck around Fabrizio Verdum's guard. You can't. You can't play cute with that dude. He just locks your shit up. When I talked to Ryan Parsons about Fabrizio, when he talks about uh how king mo and mayhem and all these guys were training with fabricio he said none of the ground and pound

works none of it fabricio just moves you around just puts butterfly hooks in on you moves you around you know they can't hit him they can't beat him up on the ground he's just too fucking dangerous that that heavyweight long build with a sick guard like he has if anybody gets on top of that guy when they're on you're good luck you're in a fucking terrible situation that guy on his back and you're on top of him and you're fucked you're in a bad spot unless he's tired because overing was in his guard that's true he was really tired and over him's not really human besides that what do you what's the latest with overing um they say they have some reason for why he tested over a certain number

and they also say that the number he tested may not have been accurate. This is the rumors. This is, everything, by the way, is completely hearsay that I'm saying.

So does it look like he's going to fight? I don't have any direct from Overeem information. Some people believe that he is going to be able to be licensed to fight and that,

I don't know. We're going to find out on April 24th. On April 24th, that's when he has his hearing. I don't know if the commission makes a decision on the same day. I think they do, but I'm not sure. But then we'll probably find out what the fuck they decide to do and what the situation is exactly. If it was something he took, if it was something that's not true,

if it was a mistake, if it was a tainted sample i don't know man i don't know but you know i mean if you're going to look at a guy that you would think that might be using something that makes you look awesome how about the most awesome looking body in the history of the world i mean who's got a better looking body than ovareem c Cindy Crawford, Meg Ryan for girls but for dudes don't you think professional fighters she was hot when she was young

out of professional fighters who's got a better body than Overeem? nobody I like Sam Stout if he was as big as Overeem he'd be equally impressive Vladimir Klitschko was on the flight the flight from Fort Lauderdale. He sat right next to Duncan. Holy shit, is that guy big.

He's the heavyweight champion, one of them. The two brothers, you know, there's two white guys who are the heavyweight champions right now. We're living in a fucking crazy world. Two white guys who are doctors. They have PhDs. How dead is that heavyweight division in boxing? There's not much there, man.

There's David Hay. There's nothing there. He's big in Europe, and there's a couple other guys but no and klitschko's just boxing everybody's fucking face when was the last time we had a heavyweight pay-per-view that's a good question i think klitschko klitschko i think has pay-per-views i don't know maybe he doesn't maybe he just fights and i know he's huge in germany because he lives in germany he speaks like a fucking hundred different languages or something shit. He's a super genius.

He was playing chess on his iPad all the way back from Fort Lauderdale. Kimbo might be the heavyweight champion. Can you imagine Kimbo against Klitschko?

Come on. He could beat him. Did you see a lot of people think that his last fight was a dive? Have you seen all the criticism online? I didn't even pay attention.

The guy came online that fought him and defended himself and made a lot of sense to me. Sometimes people just get caught and it looks like a dive but it's just you're tired and you get clipped on the jaw

and your shit just gives out on you. It is possible. But there's also a lot of dives out there in this world. Hey, dude, right now is the perfect time for Kimbo. Come on,

he could take over that heavyweight division. Did you imagine? Who else is in there? There's nobody. Vladimir Klitschko. That could be a huge fight, dude. Kimbo against Vladimir. What the fuck are you talking about? That would be there? There's nobody. Vladimir Klitschko. That could be a huge fight, dude. Kimbo against Vladimir.

What the fuck are you talking about? That would be huge. Oh, my God. Come on. You really think that Kimbo could hang with Vladimir Klitschko, though? It would be huge. Just numbers-wise.

It would be huge. I bet you're right. I bet for pay-per-view numbers. It could save boxing. Make a rematch out of it. I say, you know, what if Kimbo just really becomes good at it? You know, what if all the, you know,

working on takedowns and all that shit, that's just not his thing. He's got a bad knee. You saw the YouTube videos. The guy has a left hook. Yeah, and he's got a bad knee. Apparently, he's got one knee that's bone on bone. Remember they did a thing on it on The Ultimate Fighter?

The doctor did an MRI on it or some shit. It was like you've got a real deterioration of your cartilage and your ligament. So all that leg kicking and all that sprawling and shit and j's like you know you got a real deterioration of your cartilage and your ligament so all that leg kicking and all that you know sprawling and shit and jujitsu maybe that's not for him

because his knees are fucked up but if he could just stand and throw those hands Evander would fight Kimbo that would be a big fucking fight can you imagine that

Evander's still fighting he's like how old is he that would be a huge pay-per-view fight he's gotta be like 48 or 49 right something like that

who would have ever thought remember when he was fighting riddick bow remember those fights back in the day yeah those were crazy wars a small dude with a huge heart and a big guy that was real talented but didn't train that hard and they just went to war whoa riddick bowe riddick bro was talented man but he just never had the work ethic like holyfield had. He just never could completely get it. And then Gulotta came along and just fucked up his life. Gulotta fucked him up. Apparently they said the Gulotta beatings were really the beginning of the end for him.

He should have never lost to Gulotta in the first place, the first fight. Gulotta beat the shit out of him and then dropped him with body shots of the nuts over and over again. It was purposely hitting him in the nuts to get out of the fight. It was the weirdest thing ever. And that was it for Riddick Bowe. After that, he was never nuts over and over again. It was purposely hitting him in the nuts to get out of the fight. It was the weirdest thing ever. And that was it for Riddick Bowe. After that, he was never really the same guy again. Those are the days, dude. The days of the heavyweight division and boxing

when it was like that's what you'd look forward to. Remember Michael Doakes? Remember all those dudes when Tyson came along and just cleaned out that whole division? Pinklin Thomas? Roy Nelson could take over boxing. I bet he could beat a lot of dudes, man. Hell yeah.

Roy Nelson could beat a lot of dudes. That guy's got an incredible chin. Imagine how good his chin would be with boxing gloves. His chin is good with MMA with knees. He takes solid knees to the face. Dude, Roy Nelson versus Butterbean, that could be on the undercard of Kimbo Evander.

That's actually a great card. Come on. That's a great card. Holy shit. But it would never happen. Roy would never get out of his UFC contract just for that. Because not that many fights. It would be huge, though.

There's a lot of money in boxing. We need a heavyweight division. How many times have we started this music? Has it been like at least a million times? I'm trying to get you to put it together, man. Use your connections. Talk to Bob Arum. Bob Arum, if you're listening out there, Kimbo versus Evander.

And then the winner of that gets Klitschko. Boom. Boxing's back. Boxing is back. Roy Nelson against who? Roy Nelson against who? Who did we say? Roy Nelson against Butterbean.

Butterbean. Oh, dude, forget about it. Forget about it. Is Butterbean still fighting? Fuck yeah. No. He'll never quit. He's so big, man.

Can't be. Yeah, he's way bigger than he used to be, and he used to be enormous. He's huge now. I mean, he had a cooking show for a while. He's working on a Carlos Jr. Yeah. He could put away some fucking food. That's a big boy.

Big Alabama boy. He was working on an American Top Team, too. He was trying to do some MMA for a while. Remember he fought Genki Sudo? Yeah. Genki Sudo leg locked him? Yeah. Yeah.

All right, ladies and gentlemen, we've talked your ear off. We appreciate the fuck out of you. I appreciate everybody that came down to Fort Lauderdale Improv. It was humbling. It was awesome. The enthusiasm, it's been just fucking incredible. And I couldn't be more appreciative of all this shit. I don't want anybody to think that this is anything

that I'm ever taking for granted because we've been having a great fucking time. Fort Lauderdale's been awesome. And this week I'm going to film my next comedy special at the Tabernacle on 420. Yeah, it's so corny, I had to do it. It's going to be in Georgia, Atlanta, Georgia, at the Tabernacle Theater.

I believe the first show, I don't think there's any tickets left, but the second show there's some tickets left. There's an 8 o'clock and a 10.30. I'm going to use them both. So don't think that if you come to the 8 o'clock you're not going to get on. I'm going to use them both, and most likely it'll be a lot of different shit, and I'm going to do a question and answer thing at the end,

just like I did on my first CD. So we're going to have a good fucking time. And then the next night it's Rashad Evans and Jon Jones, you dirty bitches. Tomorrow Tommy Segura joins us on the podcast. Yay, Tommy! And that's it, you fucking freaks. We love you. We're happy as fuck that you

are enjoying this podcast and all those people out there that send us positive energy and positive text messages and tweets and all this shit on Facebook. Couldn't be happier that I'm connected to all you guys. I couldn't be happier that we're not all sort of together creating something that's more positive. Death Squad for life, bitches.

Thanks to the Fleshlight for sponsoring the podcast. Go to joerogan.net, click on the link for the Fleshlight, enter in the code name ROGAN, and you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men. Oh, sweet baby. And thank you to Onnit.com. The kettlebells are coming. The kettlebells are coming.

We've been talking about it. I'll show them to you. They're sick as fuck. There's going to be two waves of kettlebells. The first wave is going to be traditional kettlebells, and then the second wave is going to blow your fucking mind. You're going to sell kettlebells? Oh, son, you don't even know wait wait till you see what we're what are they calling them i can't tell you shit son because it's i'll tell you as soon as we get off

air but it's it's nuts it's cool it's crazy call it joe kettles dude dude wait you just have to see it you just have to see it it's ridiculous i'll explain it to you you'll see it you'll know but thank you to honor.com for everything they. It's the coolest company I've ever been involved with, bar none. Go to O-N-N-I-T. Get in there and check out all the information about nootropics. If you are interested in nootropics, please Google the subject. There's a lot of

information, both positive and negative about it, but I can tell you personally that I have been using nootropics for a long time, and I notice a very tangible difference when i'm using them i use them before every comedy show i use them i like to use them before i work out there's a bunch of different stuff we have at on it.com the big one is alpha brain that is if i had one supplement that i could take other than like vitamins and minerals one and you know

if i could limit myself even as far as athletic supplements go, I would take AlphaBrain. That is my all-time favorite supplement. It 100% works for me. It's totally subjective, though. Everybody's body is different. I don't know if you're as sensitive to good or bad. I don't know if you're as into supplements as I am. If you're not, if you buy it, if you don't feel it was worth it, you get 100% of your money back. You don't have to return the product.

You just say, this stuff sucks. All right. That's it, folks. We will see you tomorrow. We love the fuck out of you. And praise Odin. Thank you.