The Joe Rogan Experience - #2071 - Kim Congdon & Sara Weinshenk

Episode Date: November 30, 2023

Kim Congdon and Sara Weinshenk are stand-up comedians. They are co-hosts of the "This Bitch" podcast, and hosts of individual podcasts: "The Kim Congdon Takeover" and "Shenk."https://linktr.ee/Kimcongdonhttps://linktr.ee/saraweinshenk

the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day oh oh hi hi what's up ladies hi hi hi welcome to town thanks like legit you guys are here now we're here now how's it feel it feels good have you said y'all yet y'all i've been saying y'all yeah yeah i'm from florida oh right florida is weird it's like southern but it's not really yeah like saw saw what i saw him yeah i saw him over there no i saw him what are you saying solemn i saw him are you saying solemn i saw himlemn? I saw him. Are you saying solemn? I saw him. But you're saying it all together. Solemn.

Like solemn. Yeah, like I saw him over there. What a solemn moment. No, like I saw him. Post 9-11. Like, oh shit, he went over there. I just saw him. Oh.

Okay. Texas, they like to say especially. Especially? Especially. Don't love that. Yeah. A lot of people, well, especially. to say especially. Especially? Especially. Don't love that. Yeah. A lot of people, well, especially. They say that.

Especially. Hey, hey, hey. That's not the word. Don't say it like that. I like the video that's going viral right now with the redneck dude, and he goes, I don't care what you call me, but don't call me that. What did he say? He said, you can call me anything you want, but don't call me that.

Don't call him what? I don't know. I'm guessing the N-word. And I'm guessing gay. I'm guessing gay. But isn't there like, that was the thing about that show Ozark. There's a distinction between a redneck and a hillbilly. There he is.

Oh, when you're a big guy and someone calls you Hoss, Bubba, or Big Boy. You call me either you or Bill, but I'll be the same. Wow. That's a real guy. Yep. That's a real guy. But remember in the movie, did you guys watch Ozark? Mm-mm.

That Netflix show? I watched a little bit of it. Is that with? Jason Bateman? Yeah. Yeah, I did watch a lot of it. Fucking great series. It is good. It's fucking great.

But there's this really wild lady who's a drug smuggler, that older lady, and she kills this dude because he calls her either a redneck or a hillbilly. I forget which one it was. They had this giant... Hillbilly, probably. ...giant drug deal with the cartel. And they're about to set this drug deal. And the dude said something about them being hillbillies.

And so she blows his fucking brains out with a shotgun. It's like, what the fuck? That's crazy. That she was so mad at that word. That's a white slur. It's either we're rednecks and we're not hillbillies or we're hillbillies not rednecks which one i mean they both seem like the same hillbillies more insulting i'll tell you that is it yeah it's like it's a way to call a redneck like uneducated and incest pretty much it's like there's rednecks but the but then if you say like hillbilly it's like a

little more that's what i think for in florida that's i don't know you would say hillbilly and more insulting like you fucking hillbilly and more insulting. Like you fucking hillbilly. Interesting because a lot of guys will call themselves hillbillies and be proud of it though. Yeah, but it's more like a self-deprecating thing, like a joke at that point. I don't know. I'm a valley girl.

I don't know much about hillbilly redneck culture. I'm talking out of my ass too. I'm talking out of my ass. I don't understand. I didn't even know until that show that there was an issue with one of those words. I don't even know which one that really upsets them. She was willing to shoot this guy and fuck up

this whole drug deal. I don't think it's that serious. It is with her. With her it is, but she has other issues. I believe that lady's real. That lady, whoever that actress is, who's that woman who played that role? I was just looking it up. I had her name.

Sorry. I love that curly head. Oh, yeah. Crazy bitch. That lady is a beast. Oh, yeah. I remember now. She's a beast.

She's so good in that role. Oh, my God. You believe every second of every word that comes out of her mouth. You're like, that is that lady. That's a real crazy murder and drug dealer lady. She shot a guy in the dick. Whoa. I want to act so bad.

That looks so fun. That does look fun. You don't like? Yeah. Yeah. Acting, so fun. Really? Yeah.

Have you done it? Yeah. I love it. You love it? We love it. I love it. What parts do you love? I hate to say this.

Sometimes I like it more than stand up damn i i just think it's just it's just different they're just different i like being someone else other than myself and like become and being like becoming a different character and like actually doing that and i used to do it a lot before i started stand up and then i fell in love with stand-up and now I'm just like stand-up, stand-up, stand-up. You know, I kind of feel the exact opposite. I like finding a character and finding myself in them. Like instead of not being myself,

I like finding a character and then seeing how like I would be them and putting myself in their shoes. That makes sense. I love that because then i get to see like different perspectives and it's i i'm pretty like i have a therapist and he says that i see in black and white it's either this or that and there's no in between cognitive distortion yeah yeah i do and so when i'm acting it make it forces me to have perspective for others interesting because

you're pretending to be a person, so you're thinking like a person like that would think. When normally I wouldn't even consider it. I would be just like, this is the way it is. Right. So it really opens up a whole, it makes me almost more empathetic and everything. It makes me, yeah.

So I really like it. Because there is something about being able to think in gray. You know what I mean? So yeah, it's really fun. I didn't ever think I would like it, but I fucking love it. Oh, sorry. Who doesn't put their phone on do not disturb? I gotta tell you, I don't know who this is.

It's not a number, but the caller ID says, try to judge me incorporated. Whoa. Wait, that's so weird. That's who's calling you? Yeah. You should screenshot that. I am going to.

That used to be, when I was in my 20s, I tried to start a website called try to judge me dot com with Mel. It's you calling me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so weird.

Yeah, whoever, don't get involved with them. Try to judge me. But two was a two. I'm starting out at 10. Like, whoa. What do we do them. Try to judge me. But two was a two. Starting out at ten. Like, whoa. What do we do? Just call me.

Are we in a fight already? Whoever this is. Their whole name is an argument. Yeah. Like, right away. Bad energy as soon as you read it. I don't know who that is, but don't call me back. How many scams do you get, like, on your phone every day?

A lot. A lot, right? Yeah. How do they get numbers? Sometimes they almost trick me. They're like, you missed your phone every day? A lot. A lot, right? Yeah. How do they get numbers? Sometimes they almost trick me. They're like, you missed your package. Clip this link. And I order so much shit.

And I'm like, oh, no. They almost get me sometimes. Yeah. There's so many. There's new ones. I got an alert from American Express that says your phone number was leaked on the dark web. Oh, no. And I was like, that sounds really bad.

So I called them. And they're like, yeah, sometimes that happens. If you get a lot of scam calls, you might have to change your number. Oh. I'm like, who's leaking my number on the fucking dark web? I need to change my number. My number's leaked right now. Currently, and I just haven't because it's a pain in the ass. Do you think we're ever going to get to a point where numbers are literally going to

be like Instagram DMs? Like, everyone's just going to be like Instagram DMs. Like everyone's just going to be able to get your number. For me, it doesn't really make a difference, right? Like if someone has your number versus having access to your DMs, no. Can't you just block them? Yeah, you definitely could block them, but then they could start a new account. There's something about having my number that seems a little more threatening than someone just having my. It definitely is.

But what I'm saying is when you think about it, it's kind of the same. Yeah. When you think about it, that's what's weird. If you're responding and you have your announcements turned on, your notifications turned on, those little DMs are going to show up on your phone just like a text would. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So what are we doing? Yeah. They can't actually call you up

but they can. They can go like a friend of mine called me through Instagram. That's the scariest. When random dudes. I go what is this? How are you doing this? He's like dude you can call people from Instagram. Dude you know what I stopped doing? I stopped going. It's so scary. I went live one time and Instagram had requests where people

can join your live. I'm like this might be fun taking in calls and i had like a thousand people on that shit and i answer it and this dude just started stripping as quick as he could on the live and i was screaming i didn't know what to do everybody was like leave it on like pressuring me to leave it on i didn't want to make it not entertaining. It was a lot. And that guy just was trying to jerk off as quick as he could on live. And I was like, whoa. That sounds scary. So yeah, there's a whole world. They can get into your life via Instagram

too. They'll find a way to show you their dicks. Imagine being a dude that just sprints to jerk off the moment people are staring at him. So horny. It's my chance. You know what? If you're that horny, sprint to jerk off. Do what you need to do to not shoot up a school. I don't know what to tell you.

I don't think it's horny people shooting up those schools. I think it is. I think it's super depressed people. But a little horny too. Why horny? Because they're probably, that's probably a big, if you're having regular sex, you're less depressed. If you just came, you're less likely, like right after you post nut clarity, no one's

going to shoot up a school right after they just jizzed. Think of the children. Well, that's probably also part of the depression, is that they're not getting any affection. Right. You know? Hug your local incel. There's some broken humans out there. There are.

There's such a lot of people that are lonely. And they're medicated. Well, yeah. You know about the broken people when we tried to broken people when you opened for Joey? Yeah. Do you know this story? How I got my blue checkmark? What happened?

You know how I got verified on Instagram? How? Okay. I've been trying to get verified on Instagram for like 10 years. You send in a stupid fucking thing, and you send in the articles that you've been mentioned in and they would always ignore it. And then last year in November. It was October. We opened for Joey at Sony Hall.

At Broadway. Sold out show. We were so excited. I had the best set. I just had like one of the best sets of my life in this sold out theater. Everyone's like, whoa, like literally standing ovation. Right. I get off stage.

I'm going to get my camera that's on a tripod in the back. And during the chaos of people being like, great job, you have to walk past people to walk out. And some dude pokes my vagina. Oh, yes. Did you hear this story? Yeah. So he does that.

But then when I turn around to see who does it he acts like he's blind and disabled so then immediately i'm like kind of just like my adrenaline's pumping just from the set itself and then that just happened and then i see that it's a blind person so i'm just like overwhelmed and then people are trying to like say hi and you know whatever after my set so i go to sit with Sarah and I go, Sarah, like some blind dude just like accidentally poked me in the vagina. And she goes, you got assaulted. I'm like,

what the fuck are you talking about? A blind guy touched you in the pussy. She brings me down to reality where I'm like, I have like a moment like that's so Raven where I go like, and I go like, I got touched. And it turned into like an, like a whole thing.

Oh, God. Because now I'm like kind of pissed. Yeah. That I even let it. Is the blind guy walking around still? So now. This story gets crazier, Joe. So now Joey's on stage.

So I'm like, I have an hour to find this guy. He came for Joey. There's people at this theater sold out. They're in suits and little, you know, the earpieces that they bring for the president. Yeah. They're doing that whole thing. And I gave them a description. I'm like, he looked blind. I don't think he is. Chances are he's not really blind. And then I'm like, shit, like I have my camera set up. So I go and look and you only see the shadows. It's like it's like an SNL sketch,

the way you can only see certain shadows and him kind of bump into me and like something happened and then he walks away and me looking around but it's just shadows so I'm like he has this jaw so we're zooming in on the jaw and he's like comparing the staff is like comparing the pictures on their phones to the people in the crowd so crazy everyone's looking for this dude then the server comes up and she goes I have a guy in the back throwing up with his friend he's throwing up in a trash can i'm like let me go look so i take a peek in the back i'm like that's him immediately and you know what's fucked up is that he looked a lot like this guy i know that works at gas digital for lewis who's blind he looks like they call him gay blind mike gas

digital and he looks a lot like him so i thought i was being like gay racist you mean blind racist blind yeah blind racist where i was like maybe all blind people look alike and oh my god and there's like so so i was like it's him so so then they're like we'll take care of it and they start escorting him out. And I guess he gets away and runs out, right? Before they can get his ID and his information, which annoys me. But I'm going to let it go. They're like, he got away. Yeah, but wasn't he so drunk he was thrown up in a trash can and they can't catch him?

No, I don't know how he got away. I wasn't there to see it. That's why I should have been there. But then it gets crazier. Okay, so then I'm kind of pissed that he got away. Because I'm like, he just got away with that and then i'm like gaslighting myself like did he even do it on purpose he was so drunk and they go well we know it was him for sure and i go how do you know it was him they go oh on his way out he said at least i got to touch kim congan's pussy

so then so then i mean this is like at this point joey's off stage i haven't even told him what happened i'm drinking champagne there's a huge part in the green room and I just got told this like by the door and without saying anything to anyone I just get up and I go outside I just beeline it for the exit and I'm like and security I can hear them trying to keep up with me and I'm like kicking doors open I'm fucking pissed now because now I'm like he did it on fucking purpose and he's a fan and he knows my name and like now it's a problem for me you know and then i don't even know if i should say the next part but i found him outside should you not say this part i found him outside she she found him outside i found him outside

and then they were like do you want to call the cops i was like no she took care of it herself that's yeah one thing about mom is she gonna do it herself um yeah like no one would be mad at you for doing that no especially it's a guy you started with a bitch slap. That's all I'll say. Started with that? Yeah. Yeah. I started with that. How drunk was he? Like, was he recognizing how bad he fucked up?

Like, what was he thinking? Well, he said that on his way out, so he was proud of it. That's the thing that pissed me off. I would have let it almost go, because I was like, he's drunk. But the fact that he said that, he had, like, nerves still. You know what I mean? He was sober enough to be a fucking dick. So you're sober enough to get your ass kicked.

The whole night went different. Because I was like, my friend got touched. We're getting Chinese food. Also, it was horrible. Because when I kicked open the door, there was a bunch of fans outside. Because Joey just ended. So they're all waiting to say hi.

And I just had a great set. Yeah, and I just had a great set. So they immediately remember my name. And I have all these fans. They're going, Kim, and I say nothing past them. All they see is me kick open the door, go past them. I mean, absolutely

from the hip, like I'm throwing a hook, open hand drop someone. Dropped him with an open hand and then, yeah. But then there was a variety article about it, and that's how this bitch got verified.

She used that article to get her checkmark. That was the checkmark. That was how I got my verified checkmark. She got touched for a checkmark, Joe. And honestly, worth it. I was like, oh. That's all it took? I wish a blind man would come touch my vagina. Be careful what you wish for.

Yeah, don't wish for that out loud. She's joking, everyone. If there's a blind man in there that's like, I've been waiting for my time. That's the dude who gets his strategies from like a Scooby-Doo episode. Just pretend you're blind. Well, I'm a dumbass. I fell for it. I was like, oh, he was blind, that poor boy.

Did he have a cane? No. Who the fuck is blind and. Did he have a cane? No. No, he just went. Who the fuck is blind and just walks out without a cane? I didn't have time to think about it. I don't have canes. I don't think about the habits of the blind post-show, like post-show, post-touch.

Right, post-touch. And then. A lot of chaos. Yeah. Afterward, we saw, you know those like LED balloons that light up? The clear ones that Disney sells? Sarah was trying to make me feel better in any way. She's like, I'll get you Chinese.

Do you want an egg roll? I'll buy it. You got touched. She kept saying that. She kept saying, you got touched. And everybody kept treating me. When mommy gets touched, mama eats Chinese too. Yeah. And then she tried to buy me the balloon.

And I was like, I don't want a balloon. She's like, you love those balloons. She remembered I mentioned them before. She was like, you love those balloons balloons I'll get that balloon for you you got touched so she literally I'm like Sarah no she's like no I'm getting it and she opens the door and she goes to get the balloon and they like literally like drive off as she's like walking and she has to come back and tell me sorry you're not getting the balloon and you got touched and so now every time I see that balloon I know and I was gonna get you one of them for your birthday

I was like no I know she likes those balloons but it's gonna remind her of getting touched Jesus but now we just bring it up every time we want to tell the story I got verified anyways that's the most hilarious way to get verified right that's so crazy

yeah it was really funny I was at the comedy store telling people that I'm like so I got touched for a blue check mark and then I was telling them how my mom was coming into town and how she's kind of crazy and a little wild you've met my mom before a little crazy um and she i made her dye her hair back because she dyed it blue bright blue and i was like don't come to la with blue hair please so i was like i was like go back to blonde i was like please and so you did well she was thinking about it and i encouraged it and then i was like yeah dye your hair back and then i was telling that story and i was like i don't know my mom's just crazy and she likes to party a lot i

was like i don't know what happened to her she has blue hair and someone goes that's her blue check mark i was like oh shit, shit! Oh, shit! Isn't it weird that Twitter, like, Twitter, you pay for a checkmark, right? Yeah. Yeah, that, and Instagram now. Instagram too? So, does that mean, but you can pretend to be, can you pretend

to be somebody? Not really, because I mean, you can, you can, no, anyone can get a checkmark. It's kind of obvious when someone's pretending, though. But a verification, what does it mean? Nothing anymore. So if you have just a regular account and you have a blue checkmark, does it give you access to other things? What's the point of it?

I think it's just to have one. There's people that get blue checkmarks and then they try to reach out to people who also have blue checkmarks to collaborate. You know what I mean? And they're like, oh, I have a blue check mark, so I'm really official now. And it makes it seem like they're- But you can tell because they have 16 likes. What used to make sense is if the Sarah Weinshank Twitter account was verified because you're a person, a public person. So that makes sense.

That should be verified. Right. Like everybody knows this is her. So if there's a fake one, which there probably is a bunch of them, everybody knows the difference between the real one and the fake one. The real one is the blue checkmark. But if you could just buy a blue checkmark, what does that mean now? Yeah.

No, I know. They kind of lost value when you could buy one. Everybody was saying that. Especially for people like journalists or politicians, because if you can fake being them and just get traction on tweets. I'm sure those Russian troll farms do shit like

that. I'm sure they do that. I'm sure they make fake accounts. I'm sure they do. They have thousands. Who knows how many they have. They found that 19 of the top 20 Facebook Christian webpages were run by Russian troll farms. 19. That's so funny.

It's wild. That is so weird. They're just turning people on each other. I love that. That's so crazy. Well, I'm waiting for the day that- Rise up. Repent.

Repent. Repent. Jesus is coming. I'm waiting for the day the internet, the solar flare happens. We all go down. That could happen. That could happen. That's very likely.

When? Very soon, right? Well, it's very unpredictable how the sun works. I mean, not how it works, like, physically to understand it, but, like, whether or not you get flares. And some of these flares, have you ever seen what it looks like when you see a solar flare superimposed with a picture of Earth, like the size of Earth? It's

wild how big these things are. Really? They're so huge. The fucking sun is so gigantic. It's not even a big sun. It's so insane when you look at it in comparison to the rest of the solar system. Is this tomorrow?

There's a solar flare tomorrow? God damn it, Jamie. There's a solar flare tomorrow? You know, I always said that I wanted the end of the world to happen when I'm near Joe Rogan. Solar storm alert. Listen, we'll be okay. Sweetie, I'll be banging on your gate or wherever you live. Come on in.

I'll show you how to zero in a rifle. Just me and my mom. Her hair's not I'll show you. Zero in a rifle. Just me and my mom. Her hair's not blue anymore. Okay. Can your mom shoot? I can shoot. I just went shooting.

You guys went shooting together. She actually can shoot, too. I can shoot. Yeah. You should have seen my little thing. So listen to what it says. It says NASA predicts radio and GPS blackout on November 30. That's two days from now. It's one day.

One day? Tomorrow. Oh, great. They're going to bring the aliens in tomorrow due to a coronal mass ejection. Okay, now look at coronal mass ejection. I'm scared. Look what these things look like.

And this is on the NASA website? And it's tomorrow? Yeah. So this pod's not coming out. Look at this fucking thing that's hovering in space that keeps us alive. It looks like a hot

Cheeto. Imagine. Doesn't it? We need this thing to generate heat. And if it doesn't generate heat, we're dead. We rely on a nuclear power plant for the whole universe. Yeah, but you know when you were talking about the guy that you have tattooed on you, the five rings guy? The samurai.

It's kind of like when I look at the sun, I also think of my heart where I'm like, I need it to pump every time to survive. Where I'm like, it's all the same thing where it's like one little adjustment almost anywhere. Yeah. Anywhere. It's over. That's fucked, dude anywhere. Anywhere. It's over. That's fucked, dude. That's fucked. That's fucked.

The balance between life and death with Earth, all we have to do is just get a little further from the sun and we're fucksville. And everything freezes. That's so fucking crazy. One little shift in gravity. That's so scary. Apparently, if our moon wasn't there,

our moon is so large that it keeps our orbit and, you know, our weather fairly stable. You know, there's something about the Earth being, and it keeps our, I'm fucking this up for sure, but there's something about the Earth

being balanced by the moon. That it helps sustain life. Which is one of the reasons why some people are wondering why they're not seeing life on other planets. What is it about Earth? It seems one of the things about Earth

is the stability that the moon gives us. I'm not sure what it is. Find out what it does. I was going to ask if you remind me of this video I saw just recently. Have you seen this before? Fresh take on the origin of Earth's moon. Oh, Jesus.

That's a jellyfish. This is like when the Big Bang happened. So this is Earth, this glowing ball moving. Right. Okay, cool. And something went by it and hit it. Yeah. And that created the moon.

And that's what's still like, these are giant. Well, that's Earth 1 and Earth 2. That's what the- Look, it just reabsorbed. Yeah. And this is's Earth 1 and Earth 2. That's what the- Look, it just reabsorbed. Yeah. And this is going to be the moon here. But that happened over thousands and thousands and thousands of years. Yeah.

Yeah, that's what they think. The moon's for sure a woman. We've talked about it before. Look at that. That's what happened. Two planets collided, kids. It's kind of sexual. Holy shit, is it sexual?

Because it created everything. They smashed. And it's the same thing as the other things. It's kind of sexual. Holy shit is it sexual because it created everything. They smashed. And it's the same thing as other things. Everything's the same. Not to be so high about it. What do you mean? It's the same thing as everything else. It literally is sexual. It's like having two people come together and have a child. It's trippy.

All of those solar nurseries, have you seen those? The stellar nurseries. They're seen those? The stellar nurseries. There's just the wildest formations of galaxies where these galaxies are coming out of this stellar nursery. It's fucking nuts when you see them. Have you seen the video where they go to Earth and then they pull out and just show you where you are? Oh, it's sick. This is a stellar nursery visualization.

What? Yeah. This is something that exists 6,500 light years away. That is so cool looking. Fucking wild. I want to go there. That looks like a wizard in a hat holding something up. It does.

It really does. I mean, how fucking insane is this? This is nuts. What is that even? I don't understand it. Whatever this visualization is, I would love to see what perspective we're looking at.

How big is this? How big is it? Is it a physical thing you can land on? I don't know what the fuck it is. It makes me feel more spiritual. Look it. It looks like a waterfall. When I see that.

It looks like some avatar shit. It does. It really does. It's beautiful. This is like a waterfall. It looks like some avatar shit. It does. It really does. It's beautiful. This is like what the mother would give. Through the tree. Stellar winds. Raining down from newly born massive stars.

Wind from stars? Viewed in infrared. Holy shit. The gas that makes up the pillars becomes transparent. Revealing clusters of embryonic stars. How wild. I like the narrative. Embryonic stars.

Our eyes couldn't see that without this data. When you see shit like this, it makes me feel like there has to be a god. No, but this is my question. I think the universe is god. I do too. Can I ask you a serious question? If you have to. And it might be a God. No, but this is my question. I think the universe is God. I do too. Can I ask you a serious question? If you have to.

And it might be really dumb. It might be really dumb. How did they get that footage? It's not real footage. So how do we know? Well, because they use various imaging tools to get an understanding of what's out there. And the greatest one they're using right now is the web. They've got this new telescope that is getting these insane shots of like deep space.

And a lot of it is computer generated. So a lot of what you see when you see these images is computer generated. But there's some real images. They're not as impressive. It's kind of different. So this computer generated stuff when they're showing you like the stellar nursery, like that's I don't believe that's

what it really looks like. With infrared light. But how detailed are their infrareds? Like how much are they guessing? Because I know they add color to these things. They do a lot of stuff. So it's computer generated to a certain extent.

But either way, it's fucking, just what they're discovering is just wild. It is. It's beautiful. This is the nuttiest speculation that Brian Keating hates,

but some people are speculating that the universe is a lot older than they thought it was. And they think that the Big Bang, instead of 13.7 billion years, was somewhere around like 22 or 24 billion years ago.

It seemed a little close for me, sweetie. It's something about the creation of galaxies, that galaxies are created too far away because the further they can look, something like that. I'm good. There's some wacky shit, but the point is there's so much

that they don't know already. There's so many planets. No idea what's out there isn't there one that's just like earth is called like some i don't know what it's called i do not know i think they've found a few that are in the goldilocks zone oh the goldilocks yeah that's uh you know not too hot not too cold this one is just right that's where earth is too yeah yep that's exactly Earth is, too. Yeah. Yep. That's exactly it. Yeah. Earth is in the Goldilocks. It's crazy.

It's crazy. We're so lucky. We're super lucky, but we're also not lucky because we're in the middle of a comet storm. Every September and, no, June and November, we pass through these comet storms. Here's a for instance of a, this is a website on a how to get this, I guess we could download this data from the web telescope

and process these images ourself. Whoa. So this is what it looks like I guess when you first get some of the first pictures. That's beautiful too. Process it in black and white

and then he took that and made it into this. See, I kind of would rather just look at the other one. You know? Yeah, the other one was sick.

Because this is real. Yeah. You know? This is what you can was sick. Because this is real. Yeah. You know? This is what you can really show me. Put a filter on it. Yeah, don't do the Samsung thing. You know what Samsung did with the moon view? Oh, I was such a sucker.

I was showing everybody, look, I can take a picture of the moon, bro. Because you know when you take a photo with your iPhone and you're like, it doesn't do it justice? Samsung did some shit where it enhances it, right? Yeah, it's called lying. Yeah, it did.

They be filtering the moon, Samsung. I was just gonna say, they have amazing cameras. Those Samsung phones have wicked cameras. They really do. And they're like all battling with each other for who has the best camera, whether it's iPhone or... I like the iPhone operating system better, but Samsung has some wicked fucking cameras.

So anyway, what it actually does is it just knows what the moon looks like, and it puts a fucking detailed photo of the moon over whatever blurry shit you have. And these kids found it out because this dude set up a picture of a blurry picture of the moon on a screen, a monitor, and then backed up and filmed it. And it gave them a perfectly detailed photo of the moon. Oh, wow. They played dirty. Wow.

They played super dirty. What a smart kid. I know, but I was such a sucker. I was like, dude, Samsung phones, look. Fucking bitch ass iPhone. Look at this thing. You can't do this. I wish the iPhone had that too, kind of.

Yeah, lie to me. I want to lie. Everybody lie to me. You know what Samsung has that. I want a picture of the moon. I want a sexier picture of the moon. Lie to me, Apple. I took this picture.

Total bullshit computer generated nonsense. Yeah. Yeah. It's weird. The whole filters thing is weird. When people use filters for videos and you're like, hey man, I know you don't look like that. Yeah.

Like this is crazy. Hell yeah. Like what are you doing? Are you animated now? Yeah. You know what's really dark? Remember that wish.com thing? What's wish.com?

We were at Skank Fest. We had a filter picture that we put filters on and we posted. And then someone posted a real video of us and said, Kim Congdon on Wish. The Kim Congdon and Sarah you order. Kim and Sarah that you ordered the Kim Congdon from Wish or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, that's without a filter.

So that's where it'll get you. If you start using filters, then you can't really, you just gotta, it actually makes you look worse in real life. I think. And it's making everyone look worse. Inside our lifetime, they're going to reverse aging. Hell yeah. Inside our lifetime.

Inside our lifetime. I've actually always believed that. So I really like to hear you say that. I've been terrified of death my whole life and I've just convinced myself to feel better that by the time I'm that old, I can go back. I think they're working really hard on it, and they're coming very close. And I think there's going to be some improvements in whether it's pharmaceutical drugs or medical technology. They're going to figure something out.

Because it's a simulation, and we don't actually ever end. That's what Bert Kreischer says. He goes, I don't believe you die. Prove it. Yeah. Though that's a thing comics have. I don't think you have to die. No, I've read into that.

That's a mental illness that comics have. I have that too. I'm like, I'll never die. It's like you are like in such denial. I've accepted it. No, I'm like. Death? Yeah.

Yeah. I feel like if you think of the fact that you're gonna die it makes you live every day differently no that's how i feel well it definitely will if you feel that way yeah i think about it all the time and instead of like fearing it i'm like okay well fuck it i'm having the burrito you know what what I mean? Some of these Chinese food are burritos. Sometimes you gotta self-care as a burrito. Yeah. If you live your life with the gratitude that you're alive, you'll do better.

That I do. For whatever reason. If it's because you realize you're gonna die or it's because you're just happy to be alive. I'm genuinely grateful. I'm like, we're very lucky. We're all very lucky. Me and my friends are all lucky. We get to hang out with the funniest people in the world. We do the best. We were all talking about it last night

at the green room. Like, what a fun hangout. It's the best. We're so lucky. We're really lucky. We had so much fun last night. It was so silly. So much fun. It's so silly. Whenever I'm around comedians, if I'm not around comedians, I get homesick for them. That's what Stan Hope said.

He goes, I could quit comedy, but I couldn't quit comedians. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's really about the comics, the hang for me. The hang is the most fun. The hang's why I got into it, I got to tell you. The hang was it.

It's the clubhouse. It's the clubhouse. Like Ron White always says it. He's like, we got our own clubhouse. That's what it is. It is. It's like comics clubhouse. It's so fucking fun.

That's what he's saying when I'm knocking on the door. Can I come in? it's like comics clubhouse it's so fucking fun that's what he's saying when I'm knocking on the door can I come in he's like no it's set up in there too with the timers it's awesome and the screens and it's like

it's so perfect you don't have to worry about even like you've taken every single worry about a comedy club away too like when I'm at clubs I can't even relax in the green room

because I'm like running out asking the host how long do they have when do I have to go up you just sit there you see the timer. You see them on stage.

You see the fucking clock. There's lights everywhere. There's lights everywhere. It's right there. There's a light in the hallway. There's a light right above the stage in the back. It's great. I have a question.

Okay. Do you believe in reincarnation? I don't not believe in it. Do you think you were something else in a past life? I don't know. Sometimes I think I was a 1950 were something else in a past life i don't know sometimes i think i was a 1950s housewife in a past life like i'm overly connected to that time period and i'm like was i a 1950s housewife she comes when she gets hit dreams yeah dreams like what do you ever

wonder like what if you ever have repeating dreams yeah oh my gosh i had to see a doctor because i had the same dream for five years what is it i was at at this beach it was my college town i was at this beach and i would be in a haunted hotel i would have to stay at this haunted place that i was moving into but the beach was beautiful like it was like a paradise but every night i was like scared but i also remember we found out i was also having the same dream yeah we were going to the same places in our dreams but i also saw on tiktok that a lot of people were going to the same dream that i was going to what yeah they were describing the same pier i was at and like everything is this after you put yours up this is after this is russian disinformation that's how they're trying to break us down no this is something i hadn't even talked

about publicly for a while until i found that tiktok of a bunch of people saying I've been here too and then describing it and even down to people saying like oh my someone even like and then you can see how many people agree by all the likes there was one that had like a lot of likes and said I go to the beach every night to the same exact beach except I have to stay

in a haunted condo and then a bunch of people imagine if Freddy Cougar's real stay in a haunted condo. Yes, and then a bunch of people. One, two, Freddy's coming for you. Imagine if Freddy Cougar's real. Stop, because I've had that dream too. But imagine if it just starts happening. Imagine if we've done so much bad to the earth that we've really opened up Satan and demons. I hope not.

Get you in your dreams. I think, no. Okay, stop, because I'm really scared. Stop. This is worse than the solar flares. You can't go to sleep, but you're always tired. If you go to sleep, Freddy's waiting for you. The music.

I don't like it. Imagine if everybody really starts going to the same place in their dreams, and then some people start dying. I don't like it. Some people start dying. At first, they blame it on the vaccine, of course. Yeah. But then they start realizing, no, these people are all dying of internal hemorrhaging that

we can't really discern what's coming from while they're sleeping. Is this a new disease? What's happening? No, no, no, no. They're getting eviscerated by demons. I don't want to be eviscerated by demons at night. You're getting eviscerated by demons in your sleep. And then you wake up.

You know it's a dream. You know if you wake up, you can get away. I don't know what that cross joint did to you. You're always going to want to go back to sleep, though. Dude, stop. You're scaring us. And every time you go back to sleep, they're just ready and running at you. And you're tired.

You're tired because you're sleeping. You're always tired. So you're breathing too heavy. You're like, God, why am I so tired so quick? I gotta run faster. You can't run because it's a dream. You just started making horror films. And the demons, they know exactly how fast you can run. He won't give up. He won't.

So they just run just at your heels. I don't like demons nipping at my heels. I feel like I'm being demon hypnotized. And they're laughing because they know you're scared. So they love it when you're scared. That's what they want. They want you to be hypnotized And they're laughing because they know you're scared They love it when you're scared That's what they want, they want you to be scared So they're laughing, they're laughing right behind you Because they know you can't get away

But they're just running just fast They're not even worried They're demons They're holding little pitchforks And they're laughing And as they're laughing you're getting more scared Because you know you can't run much longer Do you think it'd be fun to have sex with a demon?

For the first few seconds You're laughing, you're getting more scared because you know you can't run much longer. Do you think it'd be fun to have sex with a demon? No. Sarah! For the first few seconds. I do too! You're like, fuck you, mom. Yeah. Show me that pitchfork. That's exactly how it feels.

You proud to be dad? Yeah. This is for everything you've done for me, mascara runs down. Yeah. And then you feel the the scales no i have a reoccurring nightmare that i'm back in college and i have a calculus test oh yeah that's a i'm scared i'm not going to graduate yes it's reoccurring like all the time i used to have dreams that i failed one of my exams that i had to go back to high school.

Yes, I have that often, like reoccurring. And also my teeth fall out. I had one of those one time. I touch one and then they go like dominoes and they all fall out. I'm like, no! There's supposed to be some connection with that. They say people, that's like you feel like you don't have control of your life. Yeah, that seems about right. that's you nailed it joe i mean who does i'm really

perceptive guys i don't know if i've told you that yeah no fucked up dreams you know i had a friend pass away like seven years ago and that this is is really, this is scary, not scary. It's pretty trippy, but very true. I was dating someone at this time and he was staying with me and I had, I never had night terrors where I woke up out of my sleep ever in my entire life. And I had one, one night where I woke up and cause I had a dream that someone came in my room while I was watching TV at night in my bed and they were wearing a hoodie. I couldn't see their face and their face was like blacked out. And they sat next to me in bed and they were wearing a hoodie. I couldn't see their face and their face was like blacked out. And they sat next to me in bed and then pulled out a gun and shot themselves in the head and died next to me.

And it was someone and I could tell someone I cared about because they wasn't scared when they were sitting next to me. It felt like a friend. And I said, like, why did you do that in my dream? And the person said, I'm sorry, I'm dying. And then three hours later, I got a call that my best friend died. And that was the dream I had that night. And it was the only dream that's ever woken me up out of my sleep where I was like so terrified I woke up.

Kim is a little intuitive. It was really weird. Well, Kim's a little nutty. She is. And most nutty people, they can sense some things that may, like you ever wonder like schizophrenics when they're running around talking to themselves? Are you saying I'm schizophrenic? No, no, no, I'm not. I'm not, like, you ever wonder, like, schizophrenics when they're running around talking to themselves?

Are you saying I'm schizophrenic? No, no, no, I'm not. I'm not. But have you ever wondered? Maybe someone's talking back to them. I think that all the time because sometimes I hear them say things that make sense. Well, yeah. I mean, I also was, I went into a, when Brody died, I went into an actual psychosis.

I was taking Adderall for a lot of years and then i stopped taking it suddenly because i wanted to sleep and i was so sad that he had died i abruptly stopped taking adderall and it put me in like this wild psychosis and now i talk about it all the time because it's so it's so mass like prescribed it's insane well it's an amphetamine yeah it's meth well it's it's better yeah if you're gonna take one i'd take adderall it's better yeah yeah they have it dialed in yeah yeah as much as they can you know exactly what you're gonna get right the dosage right isn't it fascinating that it's okay to take that i mean they say you need it for add it made me say you need it it really like because i got me. They say you need it. It really like, because I got, I started taking it in college, right?

Because I was like, I got to do this paper, you know? Because as a society, we put so much, we put a spotlight on productivity. It's like, how productive are you being? And not really on well-being. And because of that, I got really addicted to it. And then when I started stand-up, I was like a personal assistant during the day. So I'd be like on Excel sheets all day. And then when I started stand-up, I was like a personal assistant during the day. So I'd be like on Excel sheets all day and then going to do stand-up.

And so just like awake and awake and awake for like 10 years. And then I'm like, it's really nice to sleep. Not being on Adderall, I'm like, it's so nice sleeping. Were you able to sleep when you were on Adderall? No. So how many hours a night do you think you slept? Probably like four. Whoa whoa and they weren't

real it wasn't even real sleep damn because then you get like a tolerance to it right and the company that fucking listen to this this shit's crazy the company that okay to get adderall there is this place um i went on yelp and typed in Adderall. This place comes up. Jesus. I'm not joking. This place comes up. The doctor who prescribed it to me is now in jail because he was prescribing stuff to people like willy-nilly. Yeah, that's real common.

It's really scary. Well, a lot of these doctors are also taking these things, which is interesting. doctors are also taking these things, which is interesting because if you're a doctor and you know that these things work and you decide that you have ADD or whatever and you go to your other doctor friend and he writes a prescription for you and now you're taking Adderall and you need it because you need it. Like a lot of people just think they need it because it is probably great. Like I haven't done it. I'm scared.

I'm scared. I'd like it. Oh no, you'd like it. That's the problem. The trauma tapping you did. This is how it, no, no, no. Did you see that? You know why?

It was like having a flashback. Yeah, it was. It was an Adderall flashback. I'm like, I'm typing on a computer. Yeah. That's what it reminded me of. But yeah, when you went through that, that was like fucking crazy. It was so scary.

It was crazy. It was really scary. I called the cops on her. My parents did, too. Yeah. Look, it's hard. People get hooked on pills. There's a lot of pills that can get you hooked.

I'm grateful every day to not be on it. Brandon Shaw broke his nose in a fight. We fought Mirko Krokop, and he got his nose smashed. And he hadaw broke his nose in a fight um crow cop we fought merco crow cop and he got his nose smashed and he had to get his nose fixed and uh they put him on oxys and so uh he took the oxys got the surgery got it he means his nose was destroyed gets the takes the oxys and then just keeps taking them just keeps it like long after the healing process he's keeps taking them. Just keeps, like, long after the healing process, he's fucking taking them all day long. And finally his friends just came over to his house

and took everything away. Yeah. Hey, dude. It's easy. You got to stop. But it was hard. He said it was fucking hard. It was really hard to get off of Adderall, too.

And then now I know I have some friends who are still on it, and there's, like, a shortage of it. And there's people that are hooked on it and there's like a shortage of it. So and there's people that are hooked on it and there's a shortage of it like nationwide. And it's really fucking people shit up because they've been taking it for so long. Right. And then the problem is then they go for street Adderall, which is cut with fentanyl. I mean, well, also a lot of people get on Adderall because they want to lose weight because it makes you skinny. And when you're not hungry.

No, it's so fucked up. That was one of the benefits for me you skinny. And when you're a woman. Because you're not hungry. No, it's so fucked up. That was one of the benefits for me, too. I was like, I'm skinny and I'm a perfectionist. Yeah. It's like so easy for women to get addicted because you're just losing weight and being productive. You're like, I can do it all. Exactly what you're supposed to be doing. You're like, I baked a pie and also called my grandmother to say hello.

And the house is clean and I'm a stand-up comedian. And my hair is done. I'm a stand-up comedian. And my hair is done. I'm telling you right now, I don't remember who said this, but it was a famous woman. She said, if my apartment's clean, my work's not doing well.

It's like for me, it really is one or the other. If my place is clean, I haven't had a set in a couple days. You know what I mean? Right. Like I've been at home. If I'm doing well well my shit is i have

boxes in my house that are just half opened i got bags of stuff i'm like i don't know what that is unpacked from the last trip before the next trip that's really interesting it's really interesting she said that i think creative people would probably agree with that like especially when you get on a like if you're on something Like you're working on something You're like really into it I don't give a fuck what's going on around me I'm just focused on what I'm doing I got empty cans and shit

Cigars We wrote a movie together and that whole time My apartment was fucked up Same, same, it was embarrassing Us writing? Yeah I gotta tell you, being a creative is embarrassing Being a creative? It was embarrassing. Us writing? Yeah. I gotta tell you, being a creative is embarrassing. Being a creative?

It's embarrassing. It is. How is it embarrassing? Because we were meeting at coffee shops in between our house to write. And I'm a loud writer. I'm quiet. I'm like, I don't want anyone to know what I'm doing. I would rather people not know I'm writing a script.

And Sarah's like, what if we say throbbing instead of pulsating? And I'm like, exterior and Sarah's like what if we say throbbing instead of pulsating and I'm like exterior day did you write that? I like get embarrassed and Sarah doesn't give a fuck I think you cooked that part of your brain off with Adderall just fried it

that embarrassment gene is just fucking I'm like I don't get humiliated like that. It got redlined too long. Well, because if I hear people... Go! Well, it's also a me thing, because if I hear people writing a script out loud, I'm like, okay.

Right, that's a thing. So I know people are doing that. How many of those people are dreamers? That's what I mean. And people don't realize that I'm not. So they don't know, and they think I am, even though I shouldn't realize that i'm not so they don't know and they think i am even though i shouldn't care i don't give a fuck what these people think all right exterior day we're in the attic did you write that i'm like you know i talked to this guy mark

greeny he's the guy who wrote that book the gray man and they did that ryan reynolds it's ryan reynolds right he's the one who played it and uh it was Netflix movie. But it's a really good book series. And he writes in coffee shops. No, you switched. I'm sorry. Did I? Green Man's Ryan Gosling. God damn it.

I always fuck those dudes up. They're both great. I don't. No disrespect, Ryan Gosling. They're both great. They are great. He's really good in The Green Man. And this guy writes in coffee shops.

And I was like, you got a house like why don't you write at your house some people like writing in public around people they want to feel people's weirdness and energy it's fun to people watch too to like it gives your brain a break if you want to test your friendship write a script with your best friend oh yeah do anything with your best friend yeah i've written stuff with with people. It can get taxing. It can. It can. But then we went to Hawaii and we healed.

We said that Hawaii healed our marriage. Hawaii saved our marriage. It did. It healed us. We were in Kauai and boy, did we have a time. We had. You guys are such a good complement of each other, though. Thank you.

Like, when you guys are doing your podcast it's like watching, like if you ever see a show where they just take two people and they put them together and they force them to be friends. That's called Kill Tony. That's how we met. That's how we met.

Right, exactly. I mean you are spot on with that. That is exactly what happened. We were both the regulars, had to do a minute together. And then eventually you're like, we should write this together every week. Yeah. And then we're like, oh, I guess we're best friends. You guys are just a good hang. And so like that comes across when you do your podcast.

Yeah. It's like you're just talking shit. Oh, we get into adventures. Because we're actual friends, you know? And the last time you guys were on, you exposed a cult. And this video went viral. I'll tell you something. The ladies of skydiving have come after us.

The ladies of skydiving? Yeah. I didn't know that there was such a group. There is. Is that a union? I don't know. But they've been. Are they organized?

They're angry. They're angry for exposing the cult. For exposing the alleged cult. Alleged. And what does it have to do with skydiving again? The owner of the alleged cult, Jacques something, a big skydiver. Oh, so he's in the skydiving world. He started making parachutes.

He made the first certain kind of parachute. Oh, okay. And also has a piece of the Eiffel Tower, remember? That's right. The stairs. So the skydivers are coming after you guys. Oh, yeah. Expose the cult. And they said they have biker friends. Oh, biker friends. Wait, I was going to ask, did the

annoying ones that take up the lanes in their bicycles or the ones in the room? I'm thinking more like Hells Angels when I hear bikers. I like the thought of bikers and skydivers collabing to beat me and Sarah. Especially like bicycle bicyclers. Yeah, I don't know. I was a little nervous when all those videos started going viral.

I was like, I hope the cult doesn't come after us. There are so many people that ride their bike on the highway out here. It's wild. I hate those people. I'm like, what are you doing? I was watching this couple, and they were riding their bike. Everyone's going by them, literally two feet away, going 60 miles an hour. And they're on the side pedaling their bicycle anything can go wrong anybody could bump someone anybody can get a blowout all that shit is happening who is who is

who is and you're like i know i'm out here being healthy i'm out here looking to lengthen my life. What the fuck are you doing? Bitch, go to a park. I just saw a cyclist on Thanksgiving. I saw one on Thanksgiving and he's like, I'm biking to my mom's house 25 miles away. And I was like, up a mountain. It was going to take seven hours and he was going to get there for Thanksgiving dinner. I'm like, just go eat dinner with your family, dude. Just go eat.

Just buy a Peloton, call it. Well, I guess it's an adventure that way. Take the bike all the way up there. Yeah, but it hurts the whole time. You ever see those dudes that, like, walk all the way across their country? There's, like, these crazy trails that they do. Like, what is it, the Appalachian Trail? Are they homeless?

I think Ari Maness used to do stuff like that. It takes days and days and days and days of walking. And they have these little places where they can camp out on the way because other people do the hike too. Sounds horrible. You're always running into serial killers. You ever walk for an hour?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's enough. How many serial killers are out there in that woods hiking that trail? So many serial killers. That's probably the way to serial kill. If you want to find a serial killer, go to the woods.

Go to the woods. Go to a trail in the woods. If you're a hiker in the middle of nowhere, what are you hiking out here for? Mm-mm. Go to the woods. Go to a trail in the woods. Go to a hiker in the middle of nowhere. What are you hiking out here for? I do love hiking. Me too. It's hard as a woman, but yeah, it's fun. Yeah.

Right. I love being outside. It's always scary. Yeah, you're in the woods already. Yeah. You're bringing yourself into the woods. Yeah. You don't even have to drag you in there.

The last time I went hiking, I went on a different hike than I normally do with less people because i like it more but it's like never anyone around and it makes me a little nervous yeah so i did it and i could see one man at the top of the hike and he was just there the whole time and i'm like and then when i got to the top it was a door guy from the comedy store he was like oh hey kim i was like hey renee that's so funny yeah that's funny yeah so i was like thank god yeah there's something about being working out outside that i really love like it feels very calming and meditative and like like life-giving brings you back sure you're in the sun in the sun it's good for you yeah it's good for you. Yeah. It's good for you. It was so nice to, it was our first real vacation in so long when we went to Hawaii.

If I'm at the beach, I'm pretty embarrassing. Dude, we're supposed to get sun all the time. That's one of the reasons why you feel good when you're on vacation. You're getting all that vitamin D. Tell Joe how I was in the ocean. What? Sarah's tanning. Yeah.

I'm like snorkel on, have a tube where the water's breaking and I'm trying to dive through the ocean. Sarah's tanning. Yeah. I'm like snorkel on have a tube where the water's breaking and I'm trying to dive through the tube. I'm riding the tube onto the sand and flipping.

I like if I go to the beach I'm like reading a magazine on the sand. I don't leave the water until like my lips are like blue and my hands are like wrinkled.

Like I'll just like float with a snorkel like I'm dead and let the waves wash me in and drag me out and wash me in. We got to tell Joe. For hours. It never gets old to me. You got to tell him about the turtles.

About how we got humiliated in Kauai. Hold on. And she gets embarrassed. I know. I didn't give a fuck. Oh, I got embarrassed because we went to this beach where I guess the sea turtles swim up. Poipu.

Yeah. Poipu. And I'm like very aware of like not touching anything, staying away, giving everything its space. So I'm trying to do that. But the tourists are kind of chasing the turtle to where it runs into me. And it's trying to escape. And I'm trying not to move so it can go around me.

But it doesn't know where to go. And right then this lady comes with a megaphone. She's like, step away from megaphone and she's like step away from the turtle she's like you're just and I already and I am mortified I'm like I hope nobody listens to the

pod I'm getting in front of like a bunch of people getting like yelled at and then and then flippers so you have to get out of the water in flippers like embarrassed while everybody watches you leave she's like i couldn't i couldn't want to go for like four hours so i was like who gives a fuck she's like taking pictures of the turtles i was like no they all know me as the turtles disturber because she said i was stressing

them out i was like i didn't you were stressing them out like that she was like, I didn't know. You are stressing them out. Oh, my God. She was like a turtle beach Karen. I was like, bitch, you're stressing us out. Do you want one of these? What is it? Mushroom. Oh, how dare you. They give people lion's mane mushrooms.

What is this? This is literally an omega vitamin that you just gave me. I didn't have another mushroom. I just had an omega. Sea Karens are a special breed. Oh, Sea Karens? They'll get you. I was watching a Sea Karen once in Malibu. In Malibu, these guys were on the beach and they were fishing.

And they caught a stingray. And as they're pulling the stingray in, this lady comes out of her back porch and runs down the beach yelling, Put it back. Put it back in down the beach yelling, put it back. Put it back in the water. No. Put it back. And you do not have to put a stingray back in the water. You can eat a stingray if you so choose to.

You could? Yes. I don't feel like it would taste good. I've had it. Did you saute it? No, I had it on a menu at a restaurant. Is it fishy? No.

It's like a fish. It's interesting. It's an interesting flavor. But, I mean, on a menu at a restaurant. Is it fishy? It's very good. It's like a fish. It's interesting. It's an interesting flavor. It's something that people eat. If you're fishing for food and a stingray comes in, I'm pretty sure you're allowed to eat them. Google and find out if that's true. I'm pretty sure you're allowed to eat them. Yeah, there are lots

of sea karens. But this sea karen, she came out and she was demanding they comply. That's all public land. That's what's so wild about having a house in Malibu. But this sea Karen, she came out and she was like demanding they comply. Oh my God. Because it was, that's all public land. That's what's so wild about having a house in Malibu. You have this like super dope house. Is it legal to catch stingrays?

Allowed statewide, mostly taken in Southern California. Okay. So it's totally legal to catch them. Yeah, you're allowed. My dad was a fisherman. You don't have to release them. I mean, catch them means eat them. That's what it means.

You can eat them. But this lady was demanding. Imagine catching and releasing stingrays. You know the movie The Perfect Storm? Do you remember that movie? Stingrays are cool. They are cool. I do remember it.

They're kind of cute. Sometimes you look at them and they're smiling. They do look like people, oddly. Like aliens got stuck inside of a fish. Yeah, they do seem alien-like. Same with jellyfish. Yeah, they are like an alien. Alien as hell. The stuff in the sea do seem alien-like. Same with jellyfish. Yeah, they are like an alien. Alien as hell.

The sea, the stuff in the sea, very alien-like. Yeah, I agree. You know, they did some study recently where they showed that jellyfish, despite not having a brain, they seem to be able to learn. Now they're trying to figure out, well, how are they learning?

I know how they learn. How? Vibes. Vibes, man. They feel the vibes. They feel the vibes. You don't have to have a brain to feel the vibes if we live in a vibrational universe where everything is frequency it would make sense they feel the vibes they're vibing out

down there they just go with what the flow is they're very uh they're very jelly like they just go with whatever the energy is doing already that's why it seems like they know you guys seems like you you came up with this theory together and you discussed this. I just thought of it right now and Sarah came on board with me and I feel like we're on to something. Are we not on to something? I think we live in a vibrational universe

and things enter our experience based on the things that we think and the world that we create. I just think if the fish are flowing this way the jelly is going to go this way too and it seems like they know what they're doing but they're just kind of going with whatever is happening around them

some of them are poisonous as fuck like the box jellyfish which means they know they need to be poisonous which means they're aware that there's danger so they're aware they're sentient in some way yeah they have no brains but they're aware I know a lot of people're aware i know a lot of

people like that i know a lot of jellyfish well especially if you think about where box jellyfish live they're australia right australia has great white sharks australia has those little cute um octopi that is it octopus pie i think it's octopi octopi that are the little blue ringed ones that look like you can pick them up, but they'll kill you. Oh, really? They're like the most dangerous one in the world. It's not octopussies. That would be.

That's a James Bond movie. Octopussies. The blue ringed octopus. Yeah. It's like very cute and small. And they have videos of that one. That'll kill you? Yeah.

That'll kill you. How come that guy has it on his hand? It's like one of the most deadly octopus. Wow. It looks sick. And people pick them up all the time because they're beautiful. I want that in a jacket. And so what does it have, a stinger?

It bites, I think, if I remember correctly. It has a toxin or some shit? I think it bites. It's nicknamed Bro. It says blue-ringed octopus, nicknamed Bro. It only attacks humans when it feels in danger. If you're trying to corner a blue-ringed octopus, it might become aggressive and attack. So it has two types of toxins for hunting, the other for self-defense.

A blue-ringed octopus ejects tetrodoxin, a harmful toxin that could paralyze and kill a human adult in mere minutes. It's 1,200 times more toxic than cyanide. It's crazy. That's wild. Holy shit. There's no known antidote. Nope. It's the same kind of toxin that puffer fish have.

It can kill 26 full adults with one bite. Oh my God. It's fentanyl. It can kill 26 full adults in one bite. Yeah. That is so crazy. That is so crazy. That is so insane. It is insane, right?

And there's videos of people that pick it up. They go viral because they don't know better. So they're playing with it in the ocean. And it's like, oh, God. And thank God. I mean, I think that I think they've also they had a Netflix thing about how octopi are like really smart. And they like have the average brain of like a five-year-old child or something. So maybe some of them are aware and don't want to kill people when they get picked up.

But. Well, they figured out how to open up mason jars. Oh, yeah. Whoa. They can unlock doors. They can. I think they said that they can. That's kind of cute.

Memorize shit. They can memorize shit and how it works. They're smart. Well, they figured this. They have this tank that was set up next to another tank. So one tank had octopus in it and the other tank across the room had fish in it. And fish started missing. And so they set up a camera and they found out what was going on was the octopus

was climbing out of his tank walking across the floor climbing up into the other tank jacking a fish, eating it, and then going back into his tank. The comedian in me imagined it jacking off a fish and then eating it. For some reason, when I was imagining it, the octopus was wearing sunglasses in the whole story. The Pink Panther song.

I mean, how insane is that? Did the thing figure out that it could get out and walk in a place where it can't breathe? Well, they can fit through anything that their eyes can fit through. That's great. No matter how big they are, I think. Also. Don't quote me on that. But how would it know that it could get out and climb?

Joe, you want to hear the answer? It's the vibes. It just knows. It just knows. The same way everyone knows everything. Vibes. Vibes. You felt it out one day. You were like, this feels right.

Intuition. How would two humans, the first two humans know to have sex? They were just like, this feels like we should do that. Right. Well, but it was way before humans, right? Animals. How did the first living organism that was multicellular figure out how to mate? It's just an innate thing.

A little horny cell. Right. Little horny cells. A little horny cell. So what is this octopus doing? Oh, big octopus versus small holes. This is a porn hub. This is a porn hub. This is a porn hub category.

Is this hentai? Are we watching a hentai? I'm sorry, guys. Tentacle porn. Is there a little pent-up energy in this room? What's happening? Big octopus, small hole is disgusting. So that little hole in the plexiglass, it's going to go through that little hole.

Oh, yeah. And it could definitely fit because his eyeballs are like a fist. It actually might. It did four other ones before I got to this video. So this is the one that might have stuck. Yeah, I think it backs off. It realizes it's stuck. This is a fucking alien.

I'm sorry. They are aliens. How is that not an alien? They really are aliens. They're just aliens that live under the ocean. Yeah. And do you know the myth of the Kraken? Kraken was an enormous octopus that would take out ships.

No. Yeah. It was always like one of those ancient myths of a sea beast. Yeah, they have paintings with like the octopus tentacles touching the ships and stuff. Well, one day. Oh, shit. One day they found tentacle imprints, the imprints of the suction cups that were massive. That would have indicated like an enormous octopus.

Oh yeah, they were definitely taking down ships. So they think it was real. Yeah. They think at one point in time there really were massive octopuses. They were smart enough to do it. What is that fossilized version of the kraken? So they found these fossils of the suction cups on the

bottom of the ocean floor. And they were like, what? Like, what is this? These are huge. Oh, man. So if this is really an octopus, like this. It's actually a Nevada. Oh, is it really? Wow. Oh, that's crazy.

They're like imprints of tentacles. They always want you to unlock the story of these people. I think there's more than one of these things that they found now. Wow. Because this image looks different. Giant kraken lair discovered. Wow. Wow.

Okay. State Park in Nevada. What is it? Berlin, Indos. Squid eating sperm whales. Indos Thor. State Park in Nevada. What is it? Berlin, Indos... Squid eating sperm whales. Indos Thor. Achithiosaur. Well, State Park, whatever it is.

Where McMinnon and his daughter spent a few days in the summer. The site where the remains of nine 45-foot Ichiothorus of the species... Oh, my God, with these words. These words are... Shoniosaurus popularis can be found. These were the Triassic counterparts of today's predatory giant squid-eating sperm whales. But the fossils at the Nevada site have a long history of perplexing researchers, including the world's expert on the site, the late Charles Lewis Camp of UC Berkeley.

Charles Camp puzzled over these fossils in the 1950s. In his papers, he kept referring to how peculiar the site was. We agree it's peculiar. So where is the thing about the kraken thing? Yeah, when does kraken eat people? That's what I want to hear about. That's what this is, I believe. Right.

I think that's a kraken. Snaggled tooth. Oh, what is that? It's kind of a mean name. No, that's a fish.. Snaggled tooth. Oh, what is that? That's kind of a mean name. No, that's a fish. Yeah. That looks like a dolphin. I mean, I think he's talking about other things that he did as well.

Before whales. Kraken. Yeah. So this kraken thing. So whatever those tentacles are, they see there. It fed on those. It fed on those. So it ate those giant fish.

Holy fuck. A kraken of such mythological proportions, it could have sent Captain Nemo running for dry land. Wow. So this guy, so scroll down and let's find out how big this fucking, these tentacles were. Does it say anything in there? I didn't see anything about that, no. I was going to try to find other websites. Because they're trying to figure out how big this octopus must have been.

But the question is like, what part of the tentacle is it is it the end of it where it's smaller is it the the part where it's thickest like what part do they have a a real fossil of whoa i want to know how big it was again imagine getting suction to death by a kraken no thanks it just makes sense because everything was giant back then. They had Megalodons. Megalodons are crazy. If you've ever seen a Megalodon tooth online, it's nuts. Gnarly. Gnarly.

I have one. You do? Yeah, my daughter does. She's got this Megalodon tooth that's like that big. That's so cool. It's fossilized. There's a bunch of them. You can buy them online. But they were fucking giant. And they were just eating everything. Are they gone?

Well, not. If you watched it, Jason, say the movie. The Meg. They're gone for sure, though. The Meg is called? You ever seen The Meg? How do we know there's not one roaming around? If you dumb yourself up to a considerable extent with the right substances, The Meg is an absolutely hilarious movie.

I could enjoy The Megalodon movie or whatever. That's what it is. That's the one, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw the previews. I can dumb myself down for it because immediately I was like, I want to see that.

It's like living in the 80s. Yeah. Wait, Sharknado energy. Yes. So I saw you and Brian Simpson were smelling salt and I want to do it. Oh, yeah. You said you had some freshies.

We got freshies back there. We're here for the salt challenge, Joe. We've got to do the freshies. Salt, salt, salt, salt. People have been sniffing salts at the studio. It's become a thing for some reason. Well. I don't know who brought them to the studio.

They brought a bunch of them. Well, to the studio first, and then people brought it to the green room. And I don't know who brought the stuff to the green room, but there's a bunch of stuff in there. A bunch of different kinds. A bunch of different kinds. And I feel like I have them at home now. I'm like, am I doing something illegal? They have not prepared you for what you're going to experience today.

Oh, no. This is the real thing. Now I'm scared. This is the real one. When you'm scared. This is the real one. When you guys are like, oh my god. Listen to me. This is next level. This is dark. Oh, not dark.

It's going to strange, strange, strange you out. It's going to hit your nostrils. You're going to feel like your brain's on fire. You're going to wish you saw a Megalodon. Brian Simpson took his headphones off and ran out of the room. If Brian Simpson takes his headphones off, it's an issue. Yeah, those headphones stay on.

The headphones don't leave his head. Okay, now we're in trouble. Oh, no. Oh, I don't like how it says, ah. Yeah, that's what it's called. The bag just says, ah. All right, this is a freshie. These are rough.

Okay. So it's sealed inside of here, and then the package is sealed. And you can smell it from the outside of the bag. Wherever the salt challenge. Okay, so now when you open it up. That's what's up. Oh, Jesus Christ.

That was a big hit. It's not even open yet. Oh, that Christ. That was a big hit. It's not even open yet. Oh, that was not even open yet. That is it coming from a sealed bottle. No. Yes. Yes. I'm not ready for that.

This is so next level. What you experience at the club is nonsense. That's nonsense. This is the real deal. I feel like I you experience at the club is nonsense. That's nonsense. This is the real deal. I feel like I can smell in the air a little. Yeah, it's like a Phil Collins song. Put it up there and just take a hit. Just go for it.

Just go for it. Oh, fuck. It feels like I just, whoa. Yeah. Like the name. It'll wake you right up. Oh, Kim, how's it feel? Now you know.

You're like, I want smelling salts. No, you don't. Hold on. You don't want that life. It feels like I went... It has a chlorine to it. Oh, my God. I'm still recovering.

It's like... Oh, my. But there's something about it. You do it once and you're like, I think I have another. Yeah, yeah, like, please, sir, can I have some more? This one hits different. This one you feel it inside of your skull. I told you.

Trust me. I wouldn't sell you something like this. So yeah, the ocean's a crazy place. Oh yeah, that's what I was going to say. You know the Andrea Gale, the perfect storm boat? My dad was supposed to be on that boat. Yeah, and he used to work with the guy that was the captain of the ship. And he said he didn't like that he would run into storms and not care about the crew.

And that's why he didn't go on the boat. Wow. Holy shit. Wow, I still taste the crew. Ooh. And that's why he didn't go on the boat. Wow. Holy shit. Wow, I still taste the salts. Yeah. Dude, being in a storm on a boat must be the most terrifying shit ever. You ever see those videos of cruise ships

with the fucking pianos rolling by? Oh my God. Everything's falling apart. Or like the deadliest catch, like shit like that. You're like... But there's something like like at least I feel like those boats

are more mobile like they might be able to survive it better like when I look at cruise ships I'm like that's a goddamn apartment

building in the middle of the ocean oh god look at this fucking ship this is the ship that was out there looking for the

missing Malaysian Airlines flight in the Indian Ocean this is part of why it was so hard to find oh imagine having to go look for the airplane. I gotta say.

You're looking for a missing plane? Oh, no. Cruises stress me out in general. Why do you need to do that? Why do you need to go for the missing plane there? They don't know where it went. Because they need to know what happened to it. What happened.

Have you done a cruise? No. It freaks me out. It's like a bunch of fat Americans showing up in Hawaiian shirts being like, let's go to the buffet. Nothing sounds worse. This is insane. And that's not even

the worst ocean ever. My TikTok algorithm is full of videos of this one TikTok guy who films people renting boats trying to get out into the ocean and not knowing what they're doing. It's fucking crazy. You have to really know what you're doing on a boat.

The ocean is wild and the ocean will take you quick. Sarah and I almost saw a boy die in Hawaii. Literally got pulled out, blew CPR for over six minutes. It was horrible. Horrible. Horrible. He survived, luckily. They brought him back, but he almost did not make it.

And when you see the people just not watching their fucking kids at the beach, it's like, what are you doing? Yeah. You can't just leave your kid, even if they're a good swimmer. Especially little kids. Oh, my God. You know what's fucked up is that we were having the most perfect day. It was like the perfect beach day.

We were surfing. We met Hot Hawaiian Michaels. They were like teaching. Pushing us into the waves. We're having the best day. The waterfall was in the background. And then that little boy drowned. And it just like cleared the whole beach.

Everybody was like, we don't. It was so horrible. And then at that point, I realized that nobody knew CPR. Like I was the first one to yell, does anybody know CPR? because this lady's just screaming help she didn't know what to do and then i'm like does anybody know cpr and i look at the locals the lifeguards weren't at that beach and they were at a different beach so and then so nobody knew cpr and finally the ladies just starts trying and she does it for like two minutes and then eventually you see this guy sprint you knew it was

his dad because it was like it's a different run than anybody else and just like slides into the sand and just starts banging on his back like literally turns him over and just starts like because he was pretty much dead at that point and somehow that motion or that aggression or whatever he did brought him back like

it like woke him up. And it's also like, it's so scary. It was so fucking intense to watch. And it was fucked up for the rest of the trip. I didn't go to any more tourist beach. I stayed on all the local beaches where all the locals only swim. Cause I could,

I kept having anxiety. I was watching other people's kids. It fucked me up, dude dude things can change in a second watch your kids if you're about to go on vacation watch your kids in the water yeah the ocean is the ocean is a fucking beast when duncan was in maui either like right before he got there right after he got there someone got eaten by a shark someone got eaten by a shark when we were there in the same beach we were at where the boy drowned the same beach hanalei bay someone got eaten by a shark. Someone got eaten by a shark when we were there. In Kauai. In the same beach we were at where the boy drowned. The same beach.

Hanalei Bay. Someone got eaten by a shark. It was a local who surfed that same beach for like 25 years. But when we got there, we realized they were telling us we were there during shark mating season. So this was a surfer got taken out? Yeah, a surfer. But he was surfing in the reefs out deep into the ocean during mating season yeah they call it sharktober sharktober that's what they call it during mating season

and oh yeah and then you go to the local beaches and it's full of school kids like they beg their like how you would beg your parents to go to the mall they like are like please let us go catch a few waves after school and so it's all these school kids that's where i surfed i went in with the local kids and they're all in the water and they're fucking out there like it's all these school kids. That's where I surfed. I went in with the local kids and they're all in the water and they're fucking out there. Like, it's so funny. Like, I'm out there like trying to catch a wave

and they go, party wave! And you see them all going back. I'm like, why are they going deeper into the ocean? I see this fucking huge wave coming at me

and they're all catching it, holding hands, jumping on each other's boards. My mom says, we have more and more waves and then we have to go do homework. Like, it is sick. And they're do homework. And they're shredding. And they're shredding.

They're surfing backwards on purpose. They're having the most fun of their lives and they're out there during shark mating season. They go hard in Hawaii. Those kids don't give a fuck. That is wild. They're awesome. It was so cool.

During shark mating season. It was crazy. Yeah, Sharktober. It was crazy. I was out there too. I caught some waves. How often does someone get taken? They said like, I feel like every year they said they hear about a shark bite.

Yeah. Or the drownings happen often, I think, because a lot of tourists are there. Let's find out. How many people get bitten by sharks every year? And we'll look at that first, and then we'll go to just Hawaii. Yeah. I know Florida, it's been happening more and more. If you had to guess, yeah, it's been happening more and more.

I would say 40 a year in Hawaii. 30? 40? 30. Really? In Hawaii? I mean, in the United States. Oh, in the whole country.

Yeah. And I would say 10 to 20 in Florida and the rest in Hawaii. I think 20 a year. Yeah, and I would say 10 to 20 in Florida and the rest in Hawaii. I think 20 a year. Yeah. I would say 40 total and 20 in the East Coast and the West Coast. I want to say it's less than 10 a year in this country.

I think since the water's gotten warmer they're coming in closer now. Yeah, I mean, maybe. There's been more lately, I think. Also, like, we stopped eating shark's fin soup and they got cocky. Yeah, we should go back. I heard it's really good for you.

Shark fin soup? Yeah, that was part of the problem. One of the reasons why people started saying that you shouldn't kill sharks is because they were killing a lot of sharks and then just chopping their fins off to make shark's fin soup. It's a delicacy. I wonder if it's good.

Not only is it a delicacy, my dad told me to correct this because I used to say on a podcast that shark fin cured my asthma, but it wasn't shark fin, it was shark liver oil. So he wanted me to correct that one. It was very important to him. And he said that a lot of people use shark fin as a like dick dick lengthening erectile dysfunction

that you take for you get hard from the dick from shark fin but here's the thing they say that about everything that's endangered that they want people to take because men will take it it's like rhino horn that's what they say about like fucking tiger paw yeah yeah yeah I mean men will do anything to No, it's like rhino horn. That's what they say about fucking tiger paw. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, men will do anything to keep their dicks hard. They'll get rid of rhinos. Before Viagra, they were fucking terrified. They're like, what is happening? What have I got? I got nothing going on. And so then they're like, someone needs to get rhino horn. They have a fucking ceremony.

I heard the scent of a shock. They sit around the campfire and get rhino horn. I heard the scent of a shark. They sit around the campfire and drink rhino horn. They're like, which animal should we punish for this? We've got shark facts from Field and Stream. Let's go. There's some interesting ones. First of all, you're seven times more likely to be hit by lightning than be bitten at all by a shark.

Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, but that's not that many more times. I also was trying to figure out how they've checked some of these numbers. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, but that's not that many more times. I also was trying to figure out how they've checked some of these numbers. In 2022, there's 57 unprovoked shark attacks. What is a provoked shark attack?

Probably fishing for a shark. You're trying to catch it, and then it bites you. There's different numbers for that I checked. I was going to save that for the end. Okay, 70 unprovoked shark attacks annually, leading to between five and six deaths per year. 2022, there were 57 such attacks, a 10-year low. So while the risk is certainly there, it's relatively small. Here's a breakdown of how many shark attacks per year take place based on the latest information.

So it gives countries first and then states. Before I showed you states, I was going to let you guess because it's a little surprising. States? Yeah. The most attacks. Okay. North Carolina. It's up there. It's in the top five. California. California. It's not in surprising. States? Yeah. The most attacks. Yeah. Okay. North Carolina. It's up there.

It's in the top five. Okay. It's not in the top five, I don't think. It only showed seven, but. Florida. Florida's number one, obviously. Yeah. So what would be number two?

California? South Carolina. Florida, New York? New York, really? New York's number two. New York's number two. New York's a wild guess. So it shows New York number two at eight.

Hawaii, dude. Hawaii, dude. Hawaii five, California, and Texas. Hawaii five, but only one fatality. I wasn't even thinking Alabama. These numbers were from Florida's information, not from Florida University. Texas is crazy. But how can you get bit by a shark

in Texas? If you get bit by a shark in Texas, you're just unlucky. I don't know what to say. You're an idiot. They have sharks out there. They have beaches in a tiny part of Texas. Really? Yeah, but they have boat bites.

There's four boat bites. That they bite boats? Like that one that we played? Unprovoked bites is also divers, Joe. People that go into their environment and then get attacked, not people that are just swimming on the beach. Right.

Which makes sense. Also, I don't know. While unhooking or removing. Trying to touch sharks. Yeah. Bites on spear fishers, bites on people attempting to feed sharks. Like that guy who lost his pinky. Do you think he reported that?

Yeah. Good call. Right. Right. Have you spear fished, Joe no i have not it's supposed to be really fun all right it's awesome it looks awesome i really want to do it yeah yeah it looks really fun it's like archery underwater yeah that's what most of my friends have done it everyone says it's so fun i have a lot of friends that spear fish yeah in florida yeah yeah i mean

florida it's like an awesome place to do it right there's these videos of this girl on tiktok and she swims in her grandparents everglades and she like oh and there's another dude and he like literally goes into the everglades barefoot at night and like waddles in the water and picks up snakes and bugs and frogs and it's his whole tiktok he's like an 18 year old kid and he's like picking up baby sharks he's like an 18-year-old kid, and he's like picking up baby sharks, and he's like, oh, uh-uh, look over there, and then it'll be like, and it's like a huge fucking alligator coming to pick up its baby. Like, he's nuts. He's nuts. It's a whole TikTok.

I started following him. It's like Steve Irwin energy? It's Steve Irwin if Steve Irwin was making the worst choices of his life. He's picking up poisonous snakes. Eventually, he's going to get it. Yeah. He's going to get it. Dude,

I almost got eaten by an alligator when I was eight years old. Camping with my friend, her, my best friend's mom dared us to jump into the water at night into the, the Everglades. We were in the Springs of Florida. It's a crazy thing to dare your children to do. She was on, she was on mommy wine on vacation and was like,

I dare you guys to jump into the Springs. Cause the thing is when you're anybody who's from Florida knows if you're at the springs, like you can canoe through the part that's like the Everglades and there's sharks and stuff. And then you go off and there's side springs that are clear and you can see through them and you can swim there. But you should know that maybe a gator could show up, but you can see. Right. So that's where we'd swim and stuff.

And so the giant swimming hole you could see through. But at night she just had us fucking in there is this the Everglades kid I think I mean this is a videographer who's making really cool videos no that's

I've seen this guy too but this is not the kid who's that guy he's only 19 what's that guy's name Lucas Martinez Luca Martinez I've seen this kid's stuff

LucaMartinez.fl this stuff is amazing yeah he makes incredible videos but he look at him just in the Everglades. He's got a drone. Oh, that's badass.

Yeah, his footage is wild. Holy shit, this is incredible. Look at that. Oh, my God. Yeah. This is incredible footage. The other kid, you should pull him up. Look at that alligator swimming in the water.

His videos are beautiful. How badass is that footage? I know. And he's so young. That videos are beautiful. How badass is that footage? I know. And he's so young. That's pretty cool. Yeah. That's a cool thing to get interested in.

Yeah. I was trying to find it. He has that video on his site of those two bears going after it. That's one of the wildest videos ever.

Watch these two bears just fighting over mating rights. No. Bears fight crazy too. They fight with jujitsu they have a guard they do yeah they're trying to trip each other and shit yeah you can see them grab each other's shoulders bears fight crazy from there oh is his own footage from alaska as well wow oh wow wow look at that bear. This kid should work for National Geographic. I think he might. This is gorgeous.

Maybe just keep doing this for himself. Yeah. Don't let anybody tell you what to do. You're doing it perfect. He is, actually. Yeah. You're right, Joe. That's a good lesson.

That's a wild place. You ever been to Alaska? No, I've never been. Oh, my God. It's so amazing. I've heard it's amazing. It's crazy. And the people there are different. Is that where the Northern Lights are? They definitely I've never been. Oh, my God. It's so amazing. I've heard it's amazing. It's crazy. And the people there are different.

Is that where the Northern Lights are? They definitely have them up there in some places. Yeah? Yeah, some parts of the... I think the best place to see them, isn't it in like... Norway or some shit? Yeah, like Iceland and shit like that. Yeah.

That's the best place. Yeah, that makes sense. It's supposed to be amazing. I want to go. It sounds a little cold. I usually, if I have a choice to go somewhere, it's usually a warm water area. Yeah. I'm a water girl.

It's a tough sell to go and suffer on vacation. Yeah, just for a beautiful view. Fairbanks, Alaska. Look at that. I have to see that once. Fuck, man. It's one of the best places in the world to see the moon. Oh, Fairbanks.

Beautiful. Wow. Are they selling it? Is this Fairbanks Times? No, no. Fairbanks.com. Oh, my they selling it? Is this Fairbanks Times? No, no. Fairbanks.com. Oh, my God. Look at that.

That looks awesome. Fuck. Fairbanks, Alaska it is. Norway. Catch me there. We should do a JRE trip. Oh, my God. I'll go up there with a fucking giant crew of people.

That'd be so fun. That'd be so magical. A bunch of mushrooms in Norway? That's the Iceland place. How do you say that word? Reykj'd be so magical. A bunch of mushrooms in Norway. That's the Iceland place. That's, how do you say that word? Reykjavik. A bunch of lions,

man. Iceland. Look at that. Oh. Wow. Dope. Sick. And that's like,

not even a bullshit CGI filter. I mean, if I saw that and I didn't know what it was, I'd be like, the aliens. That's it. My dad is claiming he's seeing aliens every night.

And he's a fisherman. So he lives in the water. But he's claiming he sees aliens and he's letting other people know. And there's Facebook groups about it. And he can see them at night and they have a ship and it's doing a repetitive thing in the sky. And all these people are trying to take pictures of it and they can't. And he's got this whole thing about it. He's been calling me consistently.

Jeff loves to talk aliens. Yeah, he is like because he lives in the ocean pretty much at night so he's like you don't he's like i've seen crazy shit i believe him yeah he says that there's like a ship it looks like a ship in the sky almost and he says i don't even remember he's when he explains it to me it sounds like a dad trying to he's like the carburetor it's like he's like saying things like that and i'm like okay and he keeps saying that there's like a repetitive process like he could see the the ships ran by an energy and then it builds and builds and then almost explodes and then it gets ran by the same energy again he's like i'm watching it how it's running and staying going did you film this um he said he tried to film it it doesn't come out on his phone very well and he's like i keep posting watching it, how it's running and staying going. Did he film this? He said he tried to film it. It doesn't come out on his phone very well.

And he's like, I keep posting what I filmed online and people are calling me crazy because they can't really see what I'm saying. He needs a Samsung phone so he can zoom in on that motherfucker. I don't think he even has like the latest iPhone. He doesn't even have a phone with a good camera. He's like, he's like, you know, an old fisherman. Right. That's probably part of it, too. If you keep seeing it though you

should get him a camera i know get him like a really good camera with a zoom lens you know like something yeah yeah something something where you could like a little handy cam he said at one he was said at one point he got so nervous he kind of felt thankful he couldn't get a video he was like i don't even know if i want to have the video. Like, it makes me nervous to put it out. He's like, he's fully convinced it's alien ships in the sky. And he's like,

I know I sound crazy. Yeah, but it doesn't sound that crazy. It doesn't. See, I go back and forth on aliens. Jamie does too. We were just talking

about it the other day. Jamie was like, one day I'm in and then two days later I'm like, nope, I'm out. Fuck this. Oh, I'm always in. I think it's bullshit. I'm always in and then two days later I'm like, nope, I'm out. Fuck this. Oh, I'm always in. I think it's bullshit.

I'm always in. Here's the thing. I think there's a high possibility that the United States government has developed some sort of a drone that operates on a propulsion system that is not understood by the general public. I think it's some sort of a gravity-defying propulsion system, which is something they theorized and they've been working on for a long fucking time. This is something that they theorized a long time ago. If I was the government and I had the ability to run secret programs— What kind of system? It would have to be something that instead of using a propulsion system like an internal combustion engine, which is like what rockets are and what gasoline-powered cars are,

essentially with rockets, you're shooting something out the back that makes you go this way. Right. What these things are doing is changing gravity around them. That's what he said he's seeing. That's what he said. He said it looks like it's using the energy from the gravity as a vacuum and then spitting it back out.

What these things supposedly can do is the way it's described by Bob Lazar, who is this gentleman who claimed to work at Area 51, Area S4. If you had like a soft mattress and you put a bowling ball in the mattress, it would pull everything towards the bowling ball. And what these things are doing is finding a point in space and pulling space and time together and crossing. Whoa. Yeah, that makes sense.

Pulling the fabric. So they're moving at insane rates of speed. Yeah. Speed of light. So the question is if they have these things in the sky, and they've had them for a long time, if they've had them since the TikTok video, which was Commander David Fravor in 2004 off the coast of San Diego.

They viewed this thing. They had multiple jets that were viewing it, plus there was two other sources of data, including video. So they had radar on this thing that made it go from, they showed it went from 50,000 feet above sea level, above 50,000 feet to about 50 in a second or less than a second. As quick as it took to register, this thing had appeared. And then they go to where this thing is.

They see it hovering over something that looks like a ship that's underwater. The thing turns towards them. They have this thing on video and then takes off at a rate of speed that if there was people inside of it, they would become jelly. The gravity would literally turn you into pink mist.

Right, like it can't be human. And this thing just... Pink mist? That was visceral. This thing just... Just disappears. Tim Burchett tells Tucker Carlson he's talking to Speaker Johnson

about UFO Disclosure Act. Says, all I want is transparency. We're not going to bring in a UFO. We're not going to bring in little green men, the Tennessee congressman said about his legislation. Look how angry they all look. Like, everyone calm down. But here's the thing. If these guys are Congress, right?

If Congress is not being given access to something that the military has they're like why we're supposed to oversee all this right you're supposed to run your budgets through us like you're supposed to like we're supposed to be informed like you can't hide this well maybe the aliens are above congress i think they probably thought they were for a long time but i think they're saying that that's not legal. I think this is what a lot of this- Not that aliens breaking the law. No, that the congressmen are saying that the people that are hiding this information from them-

Are breaking the law. They're breaking the law. Oh, okay. You got to tell Congress what's going on with aliens so they can make some good choices. Well, I mean, I would want to know if I was a congressman and I was- Yeah. I would want to know. Can we get these guys to tell us?

Like, tell me what the fuck is going on. Is this bullshit so I can just ignore it? Is some sort of psyop? I'm not a congresswoman and I still want to fucking know. I've had members of Congress say, Prachet, we need to be on something important. A congressman said, well, let me ask you, what's more important than something in our airspace buzzing, 50, 60 million aircraft putting American pilots at risk?

50, 60 million? What? That's a lot. That we don't know who it is or what it is and then we have a government that claims they don't exist? What is he saying? 50, 60 million aircraft putting American pilots at risk? It's a little hard to read his word.

He might have been saying multiple things at once and they just put the words together. I think I see what he's saying. If I phrased it differently or if I used different intonation, I think he's saying there's 50, 60 million aircraft are out there and putting American pilots at risk. I think he's probably

saying that. Okay, he's saying there's a bunch of planes going. He's putting them at risk. Even 60 million planes is kind of crazy. I think he's probably saying that. Okay, he's saying there's a bunch of planes going. There's so many planes. He's putting them at risk. Even 60 million planes is kind of crazy. I think it's crazy. It's so crazy.

Bro, have you seen JetBlue? They're hurting. They have four flights, please. Please. Yeah, Spirit Airlines. I can't get to Texas without doing two stops now. Spirit Airlines will fuck you up.

I haven't even looked spirits away in a while. Once you start making money, a little bit. Not even making money. It's 20 extra dollars to not have to deal with their shit. It's really, by the time you pay for your bags and the waters. They have the best videos of fights, though. They do.

The best videos of fights takes place. They have the best drama. They have the best drama. They had a new guy, Karen, recently went viral. He snatched a phone. He was getting kicked off the plane and someone was recording it. And he snatched the girl's phone on the way out and started deleting her video. Oh, God.

Yeah. Yeah. Spirit Airlines is like a Black Friday sale all the time. Yeah. People are fighting over toilet paper during COVID. Black Friday was like, this was the first Thanksgiving. They were saying that it wasn't like insane oh really?

no nobody was economy's fucked up right now inflation that's how you know it's bad if we're behaving on Black Friday you know things are getting bad yeah the economy sucks right now for a lot of people

that's why it's so offensive when you see the White House going to people economy is fantastic we've created more jobs like what jobs are you what are you saying

eggs are $14 what's that? eggs are so expensive it's 14 what's that it's so expensive i don't want to hear about yeah a lot of chickens died unfortunately from what from avian flu there's a chicken die off well they die off every few years there was also a fire at one of the chicken plants that killed like something like a hundred thousand chickens i'm sorry are we all of our chickens coming from just a few plants? Uh-huh. Oh my God. I would imagine there's many places that provide eggs, but

there are a lot of eggs that come from these massive plants. Wait. I think we need to spread out the chicken a little. This one plant? Like how many chickens died when this fire broke out? Isn't this what happened to the Irish? It was something bananas when they had to eat potatoes. Yeah. Potato famine? They need to spread it out a little. What happened with the Irish? Something bananas when they had to eat potatoes. Potato famine?

They need to spread it out a little. What happened with the Irish? One thing got infected and then the whole crop was gone. But that's why we shouldn't keep everything we need in one place. Which is why I'm saying we need to spread the chickens. But the reason why it's all in one place

is because of corporations. Yeah, man. Capitalism, sweetie. Yeah, I fucking need communism. Also, sometimes it can only grow and live in certain places, too. Chickens? No, I don't know. Those motherfuckers can live everywhere.

Connecticut chicken factory farm killed 100,000 egg-laying hens. There are, according to the USDA, 372 million egg-laying hens in the United States. Oh, my God. There's more egg-laying hens than there are people. Yeah, I was going to say, is it inhumane of me to be like, 100,000's not that bad? I feel like there's a lot of chickens. Well, there are a lot of chickens. Yeah, I saw 100,000 in Puerto Rico in April when I was there.

Yeah, Puerto Rico's a lot of wild chickens. Hawaii has that, too. Yeah, Hawaii.'s a lot of... Hawaii has that too. A lot of wild chickens. I like that. The roosters are kind of hot. They're way hotter than the hens. Sarah was taking so many pictures of roosters, I almost called the police on her.

I was like, stop looking at the roosters like that. That's a handsome cock. She was like, I like that he's showing off for the women. I was like, okay. They're pretty. We need to go find men.

Who makes that song, Here Comes the Rooster? Is that Alice in Chains? That's a good fucking song. Here comes the rooster. Yeah! That's a good fucking song. Yeah, that is a good one.

Because roosters are hot. These motherfuckers made the kind of music that you make when you're doing a lot of drugs. I wish I could have partied and went to a heavy metal concert in the 80s. Alice in Chains I wouldn't consider heavy metal. No? No. They're more like, I would say more like grunge metal. Grunge rock.

Yeah. Grunge stuff. Yeah. When they were starting, they didn't know what grunge was, I don't think, so they weren't calling it that. Yeah, they were just doing I'm Depressed music. They just called it rock then. I live in Seattle and I do heroin music.

Was this called standard rock? They would just call it rock music? Well, when grunge came along, it fucked up like hair bands, that's for sure. Because it was so real. So before that, I mean, no disrespect to hair bands. I don't even know what that is. Like poison. In the 80s.

You know, that kind of stuff. Guys wearing makeup and they had crazy hair. No, they were wearing like crazy makeup like to hide their face. Like Def Leppard? These guys were wearing like eyeliner and lipstick. It was like glam and they had big fucking hair. Okay. It was a show.

And they were wearing like tight leather pants. Yeah. So that was like hair bands. Oh, I Okay. It was a show. And they were wearing tight leather pants. Yeah. So that was like hair bands. Oh, I see. It was superficial songs. And then all of a sudden Nirvana came along. And Nirvana came along and just put the fucking stopper on the whole hair band generation. It just...

It came to a crash because Nirvana was so good. People were like, what the fuck is this? This makes me think different. This music is insane. They felt something for the first time. They had eyeliner in their hand. They slowly put it down. They're like, oh.

Yeah. I would specifically work out to Nirvana. It hits different. If you do like a cycling class to Nirvana, it's amazing. For sure. There's real pain in that music. Yeah. It's amazing. For sure. There's real pain in that music. Yeah, it's beautiful. There's something in...

Some people just have the ability through their music to just make you feel different. They've come to snuff the rooster. Yeah, it's a... Yeah, they were on drugs. The video is a Vietnam war footage video. Tim Kennedy used to fight in the UFC. He used to always come into this song.

And he would walk into the octagon at that moment. That's cool. Like he would walk into the octagon at that moment. That's cool. Like he would time it. That song's pretty good, though. It's a badass song. If you're doing cardio, you will ramp up your fucking pace when you hear this song. Yeah. Well, yeah, you have to do it for America, apparently.

America. If you don't do it, you don't love your country. Yeah. If you don't come to, you don't love your country. If you don't come to snuff the rooster when you go to the gym, are you even working out? That's about Vietnam, too, which is like a tough one to be on side America. I'm

for the troops, but get out of there. Who sent you there? It's a lot of stuff like that for me. That's the scariest one because they did it on a false flag rooster was jerry cantrell senior who served with the u.s army during the vietnam war rooster was a childhood nickname the war is like space to me i'm like if i can't physically go see what's happening i don't know i don't know I guess he could fluff up the pictures The Vietnam War is a weird one

Because that one They literally faked an attack To get us to go to Vietnam You know I hate to be on mushrooms about it But why when we don't have to We could all just be happy Well the problem is

It seems like the default behavior Of human beings when they get control over giant groups of human beings is to control them tightly, more tightly than ever, every time, and then also try to invade. Try to steal other people's resources, try to control something. But imagine it's very Roman Empire of us. Not. Yeah. And just not. I think it's possible to have not, but I think it's going to require the next stage of whatever human beings are currently doing right now.

People scoff at the thought of world peace. No, we need an evolution, like a spiritual awakening, like a deeper. We need a restart. It seems very. We need tomorrow. It seems very early man to just be blowing each other up

you know what I mean like it doesn't seem very evolved of us we shouldn't have iPhones and be blowing each other up it seems very low vibrational very low vibrational I think what's gonna happen

it's not what a jellyfish would do I think human beings are all gonna connect in the near future like within the next 50 years we're gonna connect through something that links that we carry around or have an implant. The aliens.

And it locks us into each other. Mm-hmm. And if you could do that, it would make war impossible. It would be just- Literally like sharing thoughts with each other. Shared consciousness. Yeah. I would think it would change the way people feel about people.

You would know everything about everyone. There would be no more secrets. Everything you're thinking, whoever you are, what your essence is. It's just who you are. What your motivation really is, what your thoughts really are. Everyone will see everything. You know, I've always said that people could look into my brain because I feel like I'm pretty straightforward. Whatever I say is how.

Yeah, you're not really like a mixing up words type of person no but it's very different than being able to understand how you think I would rather that people see in my head because I feel like I'm actually so straightforward that people think that there's more inside and it's actually meaner than it is but I'm like oh no this is like all of it like when I say something and people are like oh that was kind of blunt she must be holding a. But I'm like, oh no, this is like all of it. Like when I say something and people are like, oh, that was kind of blunt. She must be holding a lot in. I'm like, no, that was it. That was it. I'm telling you the truth. I'm just not fluffing anything.

Because like the way Kim texts right when we first became friends, I was like, is she mad? She'll just be okay with a period. I'm like, okay in a heart. She's like, wonderful morning. If the skies are blue, then so are you. Would you like a taco, Mrs. Waffle? And I'm like, egg taco.

I'm like, XO. She talks like a dude. Yeah, she talks like a dude. Yeah. I just don't have time. I get it. I would rather a phone call, personally. That's all Joey Diaz does.

Phone calls are so much fun. He texts a little now. I text him very rarely. I love you. Things like that. Yeah. But he likes to call. I'm not going to lie. The first time I got a text from Joey, I was shocked. I know. I was like, I love you. Things like that. Yeah. But he likes to call. I'm not going to lie.

The first time I got a text from Joey, I was shocked. I know. I was like, I didn't even know he knew how to do that. He used to get mad at us. He used to get mad. Don't send me a fucking text message. He'd get mad at you. Yeah.

Because that was back when you had to do it with your thumbs. You know, like T9. Remember? Yeah. Remember those days? He's the only guy that calls me regularly just to check in. Yeah, he's the best. He's sweet. Well, most of my people are friends I just see regularly,

but out of the people I don't see, he's awesome. I call you to check in. Sweetie, we see each other. A little too much. A little too much. A phone rang the other day at my friend's house. They were like, that's Sarah, isn't it? I was like, yeah, it's my old ball and chain. Hold on. I'm like

did you see the email I also texted you about the email she'll text me something email it to me and then call me to read me both the text and the email about all this I'm on it sweetie I'm efficient I notice all the emails this bitch she'll be like oh there's an email I'm not yeah check your inbox I thought this podcast was tomorrow no she actually did i am i mean we're literally a very talk about trying to stay away from adderall i am extremely add i get overwhelmed by too much information too many emails i also don't understand why gmail's like the number one email thing and when i click on the email it doesn't immediately go to the latest email. It goes to the top so that I have to scroll through every email to

find what we're even. Yeah, it's the worst fucking. Are you talking about when you open a thread? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. It doesn't go to the latest email. Why? If you're the biggest email company why would that not be the thing? Doesn't it?

I can barely understand what the problem is yeah this is so technical the way you're explaining it is just above us if i go to an email to find when i have to pee so bad that i can't listen to this right now okay you guys talk amongst yourselves yeah yeah yeah we'll hold it down. We'll start our periods together. We're going to get crazy. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm going to hit the salts. Oh, fuck yeah. Ah! All right, ready? All right.

Give me a countdown. Daddy's gone. This bitch podcast anywhere on YouTube. The takeover, guys. The Kim Congdon takeover. Shank. Shank podcast. I'm filming my special December 7th, Childless Milf.

And also, January 14th. Comedy store. Main room. This bitch and friends. Also. I hope this P's long because we have a lot of plugs. Two days after Christmas. Brea Improv.

KimCongdon.com for show dates. Childless MILF. Please check out my special, everyone. Please. Childless MILF. On YouTube. It's coming out in the new year. This bitch. This bitch podcast.

Oh, no. Did you almost drink that? Sometimes you want to promote a show and you accidentally try to drink your salts. Dude. Did you try to sip a salt? Dude. That one fucked me up. It looks like meth.

I'm not going to lie. The inside of it looks like something that's- It's giving Breaking Bad. Yeah, it looks like something that's been fossilized. Very Walter White. Ah! Jamie, you want one? Come on, Jamie! Come on, Jamie. Have some fun with the girls.

I almost started this thing. I know exactly what it is. I can't get into my other one because it's deviated. That'll undeviate your septum. Alright, that's it. I'm sorry'm sorry i fucked up she looks like she's doing a guest star in succession i fucked up her outfit she's doing it i want daddy's business what i don't know is that what succession's about yeah yeah yeah it is i want daddy's business. I'm the eldest son. We took

it too far. We took the salts too far. Oh my god, I'm crying. They're so strong. My god. You're not supposed to do two a day. What? She closed the nostril too. You're not supposed to do two a day? I think two a day is the maximum. I'm dizzy. Isn't two a day the maximum?

It suggests you don't do it more than twice in a day. Suggests. Your eyes are red. Look at your eyes. Oh, my God. Both of you look stoned. We went through a lot while you were gone, dude. Jesus.

I thought she ate it. Wow. We were off the salt, sweetie. Yeah. I told you they're different. But they're addicting. Yeah. What's going on?

In a good way. Why is that? What's that about? Well, this hits where a comet needs to get hit. It's a brain wake up. Okay, there we go. Yeah. Yes!

Yeah! Shit. Yeah! Oh, shit, man. Oh, man. It clears it out, right? Doesn't it feel like you could fucking rip a tree out of the ground? Oh, well, that's why they use it before they deadlift.

Oh. That's what this is for. Oh, that makes sense. This guy. You could rip a tree out of the ground, actually. How do you say his name? Juju Mufu? Mm-hmm.

What? This guy is his... Juju Mufu? That's an insane name. He's the guy who created this. He's a super jacked power lifter guy who does all these acrobatic things. An amazing specimen. But this is his company.

Thank you, Juju Mufu. Shout out to Juju Mufu. Show who this guy is. I love that name. It rolls right off the tongue. He's fine. I was reading it to make sure we're fine. Juju Mufu. Is Juju Mufu single?

You want free salt to your leg? Is Juju Mufu single? I have no idea. Smelling salt problems, just making sure you guys aren't going to live. Oh, can we get a problem? People get problems like addictions? Toxic large concentrations for prolonged periods can be fatal, but that's not. Oh, okay. We should know that.

We're fine. I think Juju Mufu should give me a warning. Show me Juju Mufu. Yeah, this is not for everybody. I wouldn't give it to Keith Robinson. You know? This is Jujumufu. Look, full squats while he's pressing weight over his head.

Yeah, he's definitely on smelling sites. That's what it makes you feel like. That's 100 kilos. So that's 220 pounds over his head while he's doing a full split. Jujumufu's nuts. I wasn't even ready for it. Look at that flexibility. That's insane.

Joe. With that muscle mass. Joe. I told you. Jujumufu? Yeah, I told you. Another fucking level. Okay, you told us that he owned the salt company, but you didn't tell us he was going to be

full split. I told you he was an athletic freak. I did tell you he was an athletic freak. Yeah, but once you see it, it hits different. It does. Oh, yeah. Well, you can see all the different shit that he does. Wow, he is a freak.

Oh, he does a lot of wild shit. Show some of the lifting stuff that he does. Yeah, this is the kind of salts that Juju Mufu could handle, not me. Juju Mufu? Are you single? Oh. So a guy like this, they're carrying rocks. This is a guy like this you would imagine would create a smelling salt that would fucking knock your teeth out.

When I see him, I'm like, maybe I should stop doing these salts. Me too. I'm like, that's a real man. That's a manly man. That's a manly man. Yeah. This guy, imagine someone messing with this guy. Imagine your ex-boyfriend comes up to you and he's like, Hey, I heard you're dating my girlfriend.

It's Juju Mufu. No. Besides that fucker. Oh, my God. Oh, sorry. What'd your husband do this morning? Oh, he moved to Boulder from the bottom of the road to the top of the road. He had the salts and moved to Boulder.

Oh, Juju Mufu. I'm a fan. Yeah. Yeah. I like, I like, um. If he was was my man i'd have him in a man bun i like any guy maybe i like guys put your hair up mufu if if i'm with a guy he has to be able to kill another man or i'm not into it yeah i'm like not into it at all if i think i could beat him up or he can't kill another man,

I'm not. I'm gone. Well, that's also a problem with you've been doing jujitsu for a while. Yeah. And once you've been doing jujitsu for a while, you kind of... It's hard to go back.

Yeah, well, it's kind of like hanging out with comics. It's kind of like hanging out with comics. Yeah. You know, when you hang out with comics, sometimes it's hard to hang out with people who aren't comics. It is true.

I've been dating guys who do MMA and it hits different. I haven't trained in almost a year. It literally hits different. Yeah. They're animals. I haven't trained in a while. I'm going back. Yeah?

Going back? I'm going back. I miss my school. Not me. Not interested. Not interested. Yeah. It's not for everybody.

No. I love it. I have fake nails. I get it. I know. Yeah. It really tires for everybody. No. I love it. I have fake nails. I get it. You know? Yeah. It really tires me out. Custom mothership nails. Custom mothership alien and

UFO. Yeah, you can't do that in Jiu Jitsu. Do you guys believe in UFOs? What do you think? Do you think your dad's crazy or do you think your dad's telling the truth? Both my parents have like crazy claims that they've experienced aliens. I don't know i believe in ufos i believe for sure yeah i'm like did you ever ask to go out with them on the boat yeah no i don't

want to but what if he keeps seeing these things how often does he see them he says i don't even have to go out far to see them how often does he see he saw them every night for three months every night i'm sure i could call him right now is he'd tell you that. Is this in Florida or Puerto Rico? This is in Florida. Holy shit. Yeah, he said he saw them every night. He started putting them on Facebook pages and then other people started claiming they were seeing them and describing them the same way.

If you were going to do something, if you were from another planet, wouldn't you do something at night over the ocean? Nobody would even be paying attention. Yeah, that's exactly when I would do it. That's when I would do it too. And especially you have bad phone service. It's one of the places you know people don't have great phone service.

And a lot of fishermen don't have the best cameras and phones. Like it's like very like it's, I don't know. Here's the question. What kind of satellite surveillance does the U.S. government currently have? Like what can they see? Because if they can see everything... I think they're in this room right now. They can see everything that's happening.

They definitely can do that. But when you're looking at the Earth as a whole, can they see the whole ocean? Can they see it in high definition? Like, what can they see? Can they see through it, like the fish swimming around? Do they have to... I don't think they can do that yet.

But do they have to be I don't think they can do that yet, but do they have to be able to pinpoint on a coordinate and then make the satellite turn towards that area? How does it work? If someone sights a UFO, can they see it? And if they can,

what do they have? What videos do you motherfuckers have? Five years ago, this will just give you one example. This is just what's what videos you have five years ago this will just give you one example this is just what's public on youtube from five years ago what is this is going to zoom in on someone i'm just going to like so this is a spy satellite yeah it'll zoom in on someone here at a bus stop right here enhance enhance And then you can get in on like, I think you can see it's a phone or something like that. And that's from that satellite. Oh my God.

They're zooming in from the sky. I think you can get closer than this too, but this is like just. That is in the sun. They can read the text? Maybe. They could read the text on the phone from the satellite in the sky. That is fucking nuts. That is fucking nuts. That is fucked up.

That just tripped me out. No way. Okay, so if they can do this, and if you're a fisherman and you report the coordinates. I just got chills throughout my entire body. That's insane that they can do that. Okay, so what I'm saying is, what do they see?

What aren't they seeing? Do they have any video of these things? Like, imagine if they have, like, high-resolution photographs like that of these crafts. When I think about what they have, I feel like they're so far ahead. Like, they know so much that we look like, have you ever seen a kid trying to figure something out? And you're like, it's so cute that they like they think that they're almost there. We're like little ants. Yeah.

And they're like playing house in the kitchen. They're like, I made a grilled cheese. And you're like, that's really a grilled cheese. Good job. And it's not even like a sandwich. They're not they're not even making a grilled cheese and in a real kitchen. And they're like, so they think they made a meal. I think that's what we look like to them.

We're like, do we think there's aliens? And they're probably like the aliens watching us. Who knows? Who knows? I think they're so far beyond anything we could even comprehend. Sometimes when I get high and I'm on my laptop, I'm like, are they looking at me? And then I'm like, I'm not that interesting to watch. They cloned a sheep in the early 90s and never talked about it again.

Never talked about it again. Never talked about it again. What about people who clone their dogs? There's a lot of people who clone their dogs now. I love my dog. I'd like to clone him. But that's exactly what they want. They want these conversations and not like how advanced did they take that. And then one day your dog's like sitting at the foot of your bed just staring

at you in the middle of the night. And it barks but it's mouth doesn't move. I don't like it. You got a new dog. It's a clone. in the middle of the night. And it barks, and it barks, but its mouth doesn't move. I don't like it. I don't like it. You got a new dog. It's a clone. It's a Cisco. It's like your old dog.

Roscoe's back. Her dog is a reincarnated man. I swear to God, he's like a perverted teenage boy. I was changing the other day in her room. He's humping everything. No, I was changing her the other day, like in her room into a bathing suit and it was just me and the dog

and then I could feel something staring and I looked and the dog went... Like it got caught staring at me and when I looked it turned away. When I was in high school my friend Joe, Joe Spags, he had a dog that would aggressively hump his toys and if you get anywhere near the

toy the dog would growl at you. It was this little tiny dog he would bite his toy and just start hammering it in front of everybody yeah we had a toy like that and a dog would hump the toys and then the toys would be all crispy and then me and my sisters would threaten to throw it at each other the cum the cum stuffy it was like this dog cum cum infested crispy thing that our dog used to just. This dog was a little dog, like a poodle. Dude, our dog would stare us in the eye.

Yeah, they're the horniest ones. One time I saw a chihuahua at the dog park that humped and came in the air. I swear to God. No. I swear to God, dude. The small dogs are the horniest. He was just humping the air and cum was coming out of his body. And the owner was so embarrassed.

And we were all like, it was like weird to witness i never forgot it traumatized me the chihuahua who came in the air oh my god coming in the air i swear i'll never forget that little guy and then he said yoki her taco bell yeah and then comes in the air when i was in college i had a dog with my boyfriend and um we were at the dog park and the dog pooped out a condom. Oh, my God. But it pooped out the condom with the poop inside the condom. So it was like a sack. And everybody was like, what's happening to the dog? So everyone surrounded it.

And then we all realized at the same time it was a condom. And it got really weird. He was just eating a condom. Oh, so it was probably in the trash. It was in the trash. And he ate it. And then the poop filled in the condom. And then he pooped a condom.

That sounds fucking foul. That's why I don't want to have pets. Who knows? Like, it's a lot, dude. Why are they eating? Chizzing in the air. Yeah. Fucking your pillows.

They're eating your condoms. This dog used to growl. He used to growl while he was fucking it. It was crazy. No, our dog would look us in the eye while he was going at it. He looked you in the eye. He looked you in the eye while he was going at it. Look you in the eye. Look you in the eye while he's fucking his stuffed animal. He's choking his stuffy.

Jesus Christ. Why is the dog doing 69 with the stuffy? They're getting advanced these puppies. Right, he's grabbing the stuffy's head, stuffing it up his ass. Dude. in the stuffy's head,

stuffing it up his ass. Dude. It's got a vibrator in its pussy and a stuffy in its ass. You walk in the room, your dog's legs are in the air. Why is my dog's legs on its own shoulders? The stuffy's eating it out.

Can you imagine if you came into the room and your dog was lying on his back Legs in the air And then you came in and it's like And it pretends it's a dog again It is really weird but my dog

Loves to lick his own dick Wouldn't you? If I could eat my own pussy You wouldn't see me again Bye She'd have a curved back. I'd be like, yeah, Marilyn Manson. It makes sense that a dog would do it.

They don't know any better. They don't think there's anything wrong with doing it. You got to go, ew. And they're like, what? They're not even embarrassed after that either. They're like, leave me alone. They don't get embarrassed, which is fascinating. That's why I love them.

Because they don't get embarrassed. They do when they leave me alone. They don't get embarrassed, which is fascinating. That's why I love them, because they don't get embarrassed. They do when they're in trouble. They've done something wrong. They get sad. Like, oh, what did I do? Oh, then you feel bad that you're yelling at them, but you're like. But hey, bro, you can't do that. Don't eat wires.

You're going to die. Do you think hitting a dog is necessary for it to listen? No. I have a friend who has a dog, and I said, wow, your dog's so well-behaved. I was like, do you hit him? And he goes, that's why he listens. And I was like, I hate that. Well, I don't think you should hit dogs, but I do think some dogs need some, like there's some aggressive dogs that need to be trained very carefully.

That I do think. And you need to let that dog know that you're the boss. And you have to be willing to do that. Yeah, I don't think he hits him, but I think he's hit him. I think that changed the dog. Because it was a bad dog when he got it. Yeah. I don't know. I'm really anti

hitting a dog. I don't know. I don't have a dog. That hurts my heart. You always wonder if it's like hitting kids. You know, hit kids are more likely to hit other kids and more likely to be funny They'll know come up with some great punchlines give him a little subtle brain damage Dr. Drew I did dr. Drew earlier today, and he told me I was abused on air. Yeah He was like have you ever been hit with anything other than a hand? I was like, yeah.

And he was like, that's abuse. I was like, oh. Anyways, we should take a collar. Wooden spoons? What'd they get you with? Belts and shoes. But even being hit with a hand, isn't that also abuse? Yeah.

It's not necessarily. My parents would do hot sauce, too, which I heard is really bad now. Oh, my God? Yeah. It's not necessarily. My parents would do hot sauce too, which I heard is really bad now. Oh my God. Yeah. Hot sauce. Wash your mouth out with soap? It was hot sauce.

It's crazy. Soap was a white child's blessing, sweetie. Oh, I know. There's some people who still believe in that. Yeah. I think we should probably move away from violence as punishment

as much as we can possibly. In general, we should always be moving away from violence. As people, as humans and people, we should always be moving towards whatever the nicer thing is. But the issue is hurt people hurt people. We're all collectively traumatized. And it keeps going. It passes on. But I don't feel like that's true because I was spanked and I have no want to spank a child or need to hit a child or hurt a child.

But also we know more now, right? We know more now. And also you've gone through it. That's like, we were just talking about this yesterday. The children of alcoholics, oftentimes they don't even think about drinking. Yeah. They're like, fuck that. That's true.

If you've gone through getting your ass kicked by shoes and belts and things like that, you're like, that is not good. It wasn't good for me. This idea that that's the only way you can learn is crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is crazy. It's crazy. It was so common and every parent did it then that it was like, it's crazy.

And now the parents are like, you're saying we abused you? I'm like, I'm saying everyone abused everyone. Everyone seemed to be abused during that time, but that is also a thing. And it was so normalized. Yeah, it was normalized. If you could go to the 1900s, go back to the early 1900s, people would beat the fuck out of their kids. Yeah.

People would beat the fuck out of their wives. You used to be able to hit your kid at the store in the 90s. People would hit their kids publicly, I remember. At the store? Yeah, I remember kids getting spanked in public when I was younger. Yeah, I've seen people get spanked in public when I was younger. It's jarring if you see it now. When I lived in Florida, they spanked us once.

I got in a fight with this kid and they spanked both of us. The school? Yeah. With a paddle. They used a paddle. They paddled you. Was it Catholic school? No.

It was public school. That's fucked up. That's crazy. Yeah, they paddled us. I think my friend's mom spanked me once. That's crazy. That's crazy. And my mom gave her permission.

Oh, jeez. No no I think so we were bad though yeah they used to be able to paddle you in school isn't it weird though wait I don't know like people it's a form of abuse but then people also like getting their ass bank while they're having sex oh yeah it's not it's no coincidence that our whole entire generation likes to get spanked and choked. I think that's that movie. What was that movie? Shades of Grey? Yeah, yeah. That's all about child

abuse. There's a new fucking book that's called, it's like fairy porn. It's called Oh, it's the new one that Frank Steele was talking about. Frank Steele was reading fairy porn. he said his wife's reading it and she's like fucking him so much that he's scared of her now yeah yeah he's like hiding from her she's

getting hot for fairy dude he says there's this book out every guy should buy it for his wife everyone is reading it it's it was like trending on like this gift list too of like I wrote it down. Thorns and Roses. It's called The Court of Thorns and Roses. And it's supposed to be amazing. It starts rather pleasant. What did that say? It starts rather pleasant. Can you go back to that, Jamie? It starts rather pleasant.

Yeah, it starts rather pleasant. Your usual escapist fantasy. It quickly subverts into a dark and brutal test of love. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the books in the series. I can see myself stealing ideas for D&D tricks. Okay, that's embarrassing. Leave your D&D tricks out of it. That's amazing.

This is some... I'm buying it. I'm buying it. Catch me reading fairy porn at home. I'm curious. I love fairies. I'm not a porn reader. Really?

I like... I do. I like to read porn. You're like a fantasy porn reader? Yeah. You like getting hot and heavy with a book? Well, women in general prefer reading it, whereas men, I think, would prefer watching it. Visual, yeah.

Like, all those romance novels with, like, Fabio on the cover, aren't those all kind of like porn for ladies? Yeah, but I thought that was for, like, older ladies. Right. This is the cool one, though. This is the updated version. Some younger ladies get into it. Well, they have all kinds of wacky porn.

There's Bigfoot porn. That's crazy. Books. Bigfoot romance. You know what we talked about that I got into? Tarzan porn. Oh, yeah. That seems like good porn.

That one was a good one. Lost in the Jungle. Tarzan comes through on the vines. Yeah. Nothing hotter than Tarzan coming through to fuck you. That's my rose and thorns A little splish splash in the jungle Meanwhile he gives you chimp VD

Not me sharing an STD with a chimp he just fucked Yeah that's what I'm saying And then the chimp gets mad at you because you're taking his dick away Beef with a chimp Beef with a female chimp That's not the beef I'm trying to have. You don't want that. Do you think Tarzan fucked chimps?

100%. Yeah. What do you think he was doing? He lived with them. Yeah, yeah. That's true. I think he didn't have a teenage chimp crush. He grew up with them.

He's all grown up. He went to the same high school with the other chimps. When they found him, he was a man. That's so crazy. Yeah, he wasn't like a boy. That's so crazy. He grew up with the chimps, yeah. Maybe he had a collection of frogs ew just fucked mouth fuck frogs for chimps mouth fuck frogs you ever seen

that what hold on yeah wait you just said you can hear it and they mouth fuck them do you think you can hear it like well i bet if we find enough videos there's a lot of videos of chimps doing that wait chimps mouth fuck frogs? A hundred percent. I didn't. You said it so casually. I thought you knew. Look at it.

Look at this guy. Look at this guy. No. He's sitting there. He picks up that frog. And he's like, let me just put your fucking right here. This is where pocket pussy came from. Put your butt on my dick.

This is a pocket pussy. A nature's pocket pussy. Imagine being this frog going, I can't believe this. I thought I was the king of the jungle. The frogs are out there. Look at, he's sticking his dick inside of its mouth. He's prying the mouth open with his thumbs. He's literally raping the frog.

He's prying the mouth open with his thumbs. Oh my God. And he's just, now he's just like forcing it to suck on his dick. We're watching frog rape. But is it rape if it's animals? Yes. Rape is rape. Rape is rape.

Most of what they do, I think, is rape. This is another one He's holding down a frog And just beating himself Off with it See him He's just beating himself Off with this poor frog

It's not funny But the mushrooms Are making me laugh It's not funny It is funny It is really funny Okay It's funny

He's like Where you going bitch Come suck my dick Get over here And suck my dick Look at him He throws him up And you suck my dick Look he's got a boner And you Look at him. He throws him up. And you suck my dick.

Look, he's got a boner. And you suck my dick. He's throwing him up in the air to soften him up. Ew, look at his dick. He realizes you're getting a little hoppy here. Slow down. I'm going to put you on my head. He's like, stop filming.

Oh, no. It's on his head. He's got to put it on his head and he's just feeling his dick. He's letting him bounce around thinking he has freedom. Oh, you want to go by my dick, do you? Now he's going to teach you. Look at his little boner. I can't.

I can't! This is so crazy. This is crazy. This is making me miss Moo Moo Fuku. You know, he's... Oh my God. No, he's going to town with that poor little frog. That poor little frog is about to just explode. Honey, you want crab- town with that poor little frog. That poor little frog is about to just explode. Honey, you want crab-filled legs?

These are some creamy crab legs. Ew, creamy crab legs. He's like a guy holding a girl's head down. Oh my God. Well, a lot worse. You're getting a giant's mouth fucking you to death. That's what it's like. A giant hairy beast is mouth Fucking you to death That's what it's like a giant hairy beast is mouth Fucking you to death

And you're dying it's like imagine if a giant did Now you're smiling That's her thorns and roses Giant porn That's what I'm into Let me climb upon your poles Let me climb your balls He has to climb his balls the wrinkles in his balls

To get up to his dick. Is it called Come for Bigfoot? No. Yeah. Okay, we've talked about Come for Bigfoot. I feel like we maybe have. We have talked about Come for Bigfoot and I can't tell if it was with you or another sick friend. It might be with me. There it is.

Come for Bigfoot. There's a ton of them. There's not just one. I think it's just one lady. There is. Come for Bigfoot. Oh, yeah. There's a ton of them. Yeah. There's not just one. I think it's just one lady, Virginia Wade. She must be a freak and a half. Have you ever heard of the movie Roar?

Did I tell you about that? Yes. With Tippi Hedren? Yes, that movie fucked me up. So can you go back so I can read what it says? Come for Bigfoot. No, I can't. It says, on a week-long outing in Mount Hood National Forest,

what begins as a flirty, fun-filled trip soon turns into a nightmare when an ape-like creature kidnaps a group of teen girls with the purpose of procreating with them. Why teen?

Thus begins the erotic adventure of a lifetime and an inconceivable love story between a young woman and her horny sasquatch. young woman and her horny Sasquatch. Time out! I was on board until I found out the girls were

teenage. Can we make them of age girls? They could be 18. You can do whatever you want in a book. You can do wild shit in a book. I guess you're right. Yeah, you can do wild, horrible things in a book. An 18-year-old's still a teenager, right? That's true. Deal with the demon. What is that? That's true. Deal with the demon.

What is that? That's what you have to read after you come for Bigfoot. Let's just say what was related to this. If you had to choose between seeing a UFO or seeing Bigfoot, what would you pick? UFO. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because seeing Bigfoot would freak me out that they're in the woods with us like that. I don't like that.

But UFO would be like, okay, it's real. It is what it is. There's no more mystery. UFO is way more interesting to me. UFO is creepy. I feel like if Bigfoot was real and there was a bunch of them, we'd treat them the same way we treat orcas. Because orcas are amazing. That's an amazing creature and if it didn't exist if you

heard about an intelligent creature that speaks with sound like a human water yeah it's got a brain that's way bigger than a human being's brain they're they they obviously they hunt they think they teach each other things they there's like video you would say there's no way this thing who saw it you know if there was no footage of, it was just a myth that there was this creature that was really intelligent that killed the whales. Like, why? It kills whales? What? That's so crazy.

Get the fuck out of here. That's so crazy. What is this thing? Yeah, but meanwhile, they're real. And we're like, eh, killer whales. Oh, look, there's an orca. That's how we would be like Bigfoot. Oh, look, there's a Bigfoot.

Would you rather see a Sasquatch? There's Sasquatch, and then killer whales. Oh, look, there's an orca. That's how we would be like Bigfoot. Oh, look, there's a Bigfoot. Would you rather see a Sasquatch? There's Sasquatch and then there's Yetis, right? I think they're the same, right? No, one's more like snow. One lives in the Himalayas. Between the two, I'd rather see the Yeti. Give me the snowy one. I feel like if you're in the place where the Yeti lives, you fucked up already.

Yeah, I feel like that too. I want the Sasquatch. The nice nature. Yeah, you could be in the Colorado mountains. the Yeti lives, you fucked up already. Yeah, I feel like that too. I want the Sasquatch. The nice nature. You could be in the Colorado mountains. The Yeti's cold. It's nice. And then you see a Sasquatch. You're like, oh, shit.

Come for Sasquatch. For real? Just abduct you into the woods. One over each shoulder. Come for Yeti doesn't hit the same. I can't fucking believe. Come for Yeti doesn't hit the same. Yell for Yeti.

Come for Sasquatch. What about the mermaids? What about? What the fucking question is that? The mermaids? Would rather see a mermaid over a Yeti or a Sasquatch? Would you rather see a mermaid

or a UFO? A real one. UFO. 100%. I don't give a fuck about a mermaid. But UFO could be anything. It could be the government. It could be aliens. It could be the government being aliens. A mermaid is different. A mermaid's a mermaid.

Imagine it's a hot ass mermaid. A mermaid opens up the opportunity that there's whole other worlds of half humans under the water. Yeah. We gotta start going inside before we go outside, Joe. We gotta see what's going on in our shit

before we start exploring. Question. Would you rather see a fairy or a mermaid? Fairy. Fairy, right? For sure, yeah. Fairy's more interesting. I can't get into my fairy fantasy on here.

I'm into that fairy life. A mermaid is just like a person with a fishtail. Why is it so interesting? Fish. It's not even that interesting. No, there's something about it. It's just a different kind of person that lives underwater.

Like, okay, have fun. Weirdo. Yeah. Anyways, we'll be up here breathing air and having fun and doing stand-up. Yeah, have a good time. Lose the gills,

get some lungs, pussy. Yeah, you're living with sharks, you fucking moron. What are you doing? That's true. Yeah, what are you doing? That's true. Down there

with your fucking trident. I run this shit. You bitches don't know anything. There's people on TikTok that are teaching themselves telekinesis and they think they can move things

with their minds. That's Russia and China. They're just subverting our youth. They're making us stupid and then in China they're getting smarter. They're doing like math shit.

They're doing real math numbers and we're over here trying to move a aluminum foil with wind. I could do it. We're all distracted by the dumbest shit on TikTok. Yeah, people are just eating Baconators trying to move things with their minds. The Chamoy pickle, I'm in.

Do you think that people can, like, is like telekinesis a possibility someday? Yeah. You think so? Yeah. Because we have this thought.

It's always existed, the idea of moving things with your mind. And people have always pretended they can do it. Right. What do you think about it? Do you think it's like things that people think one day? At one point in time, we weren't like this. At one point in time, we're some hairy creature living in the woods. And we evolved to become like this

How long before other things start emerging and maybe that's what like psychic thought really is if they're emerging properties of human beings right? We don't quite have it yet, but you get it like if my friend called when I was thinking about them You know that kind of shit. It's being a jellyfish uh-huh yeah And you gotta just fucking go with it until it divides you. No, it shows up with like synchronicities and stuff too, I think. Also, I think it's very interesting when you're like in school and stuff and you feel someone looking at you and you look and they're looking and you're like, you can feel that. Statistically, no.

They've done like studies and people can tell to a certain extent when people are looking at them that seems to be more than just chance it is more than chance because you can you can it's in a room full of people you can your head goes exactly to where you're being stared at and you make eye contact with and that's happened to me so many times there's also there's times where i mean we're so connected there'll be times where we do shows and we both show up in like a pink jacket. We didn't talk about it before and we'll just both get there and be matching, which it's weird too. Yeah.

But yeah. But that's, you're both more likely to wear pink jackets. Yeah. I think we also. If I wore a pink jacket and you guys were in a pink jacket, that would be insane. That's true. That's true. Which did happen the other night.

We all wore pink. We did? Yeah, we did. Who's we? Me, you, and Sarah. Oh, okay. Was that you? No, it was me, you, and Pauly Shore.

Oh, it was Pauly Shore. You just mixed up Pauly and Joe. Whatever. That's hilarious. Different energy. I can't even believe I'm saying that. Shit, I'm wearing a pink hoodie. Yeah, that's what threw me off.

But I don't know. I think it's just weird. I mean, who knows? I think it's possible. I heard this story about a. Yeah. You got Elvis. That's what threw me off. But I don't know. I think it's just weird. I mean, who knows? I think it's possible. I heard this story about a guy who died in a freezer. He worked in a place that had like all these freezers and he got locked in one. Oh, boy. And he died from hypothermia.

But they found out that the freezer, now I don't know if this is a true story. I don't even remember how I read it. But I read that he died, but they found out that the freezer didn't even work, that it had been unplugged, the power shut down, and then he literally thought he was freezing and killed himself in the freezer.

They found claw marks in it and everything. I don't know if that's real. How did he kill himself? I don't know. I don't know, but they said they looked and he had- There's a lot I don't know in this story. I don't know. I don't remember.

It was a long time ago. I'm having traces of that story pop in. You mean his mental state. He tricked himself into thinking he was dying and he died. He had like a fucking heart attack. I'm burning. I'm burning. And you.

I could see that you could have a heart attack. That's possible. And then he was like trying to claw his way out. But then they said that the freezer wasn't even plugged in and he would have lived if he would have just fucking. That's deranged. He just chilled out a little. No. Pun pun intended how do you even fit into a freezer how do you not know it's not cold yeah how do you not know it's not cold you don't you really think you're freezing it but if you're

in there and you're like i remember cold i remember being a kid it's a big one it's probably cold for a while and wanting to go into the refrigerator as a kid being like opening it opening it, my mom being like, I can't go in the refrigerator. Oh, yeah. You want to go in there like a bug. Yeah, that's a weird thing. Right? That's in horror movies where, like, the evil grandmother's like, let me see if you fit in that oven. Yeah.

Just do me a favor and climb in that oven. I just want to see if you fit. It's nice and warm. Your hands are cold. Just put your hands in there. There's a fucked up movie, a horror movie about that, where these kids go to visit their grandparents is it called witches the grandparents aren't really their grandparents oh i saw that crazy people that took over the grandparents's house and the mom calls and the mom calls and they show a picture of the grandparents and she's like those aren't

your grandparents and the kids realize they've been staying with two strangers they're at the wrong house psycho strangers psycho what is the name of that movie that movie was actually really fucked up that was a good movie yeah what was it called i have no idea the others or something yeah there's something like that the visit is it can i see something like that it was really horrible yeah this is it yeah oh yeah this is it oh i remember Yep, this is it. Oh, I remember. It's a very creepy movie. Because it gets, it builds. It's like a slow creep.

Yeah. Even watching it looks creepy. Oh, the grandparents look off from the beginning now that you know. Well, now that you know. But at the beginning, they just seem a little off. Like just something's wrong. Yeah, like maybe they had dementia or something you almost think

they're sick in a way and you're like man they're not doing too well these are the people that killed your grandparents yeah it's a good movie

you know that movie that fucked me up was The Strangers which one that movie fucked me up for years what's that movie it's a movie about

just strangers showing up at your house at night in masks and it's like it's like this not into that like this knock and then it's a couple on their strangers showing up at your house at night in masks. And it's like this... Not into that. Like this knock. And then it's a couple on their anniversary.

They're in the middle of the woods. And just these people show up. And then they go through this whole night where they're being tortured and murdered. And at the end of the movie... Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah. At the end of the movie, they ask them, they're like, why are you doing this? And they're like, because you were home.

And it's like, no, it's just a movie about demented people. Oh, boy. That's why you need home. And it's like, no, it's just a movie about demented people. Oh, boy. That's why you need firearms. Yeah. The strangers make you believe in the right to bear arms. I'll tell you that. You'll fix that problem real quick. Yeah.

You'll see them skedaddling with their mask off quick. Remember when we saw Haley Joel Osment on the plane and we knew it was him because of his eyes? Yeah. He was wearing a mask. And we're like, no, we see those funky eyes from here. Do you see dead people? Oh. This kid from Signs.

Oh, wow. Recognized him from... He had a mask on and I know his eyes. That movie fucking changed my life. Signs really stayed with me. Not Signs. Sixth Sense. The Sixth Sense.

Yeah, that fucked me up. Signs really stayed with me. Signs was the first movie I ever got fingered in. The first time I ever got fingered was in Signs. Congratulations. Thank you. He does have very distinct eyes. He does.

Look at his eyes again. The only person whose eyes are that distinct besides him are Buscemi. Yeah, he's got eyes you can't miss. Like, you can't wear a mask and be like, I was like, okay, Haley Joel, have fun at 32E. He looks like he could be like a Russian wrestler. Yeah. Like Yuri Pasturov. Yes.

Some dude from Bulgaria or somewhere, you know? He did that trippy movie, AI. Remember that one where it was about the couple where they got so advanced that you could buy a child if you lost a child, that you could buy a very realistic version of one for your grief and it would like learn to love you and then their child actually came back from the coma so that they had so you have two kids you have two kids robot kid oh god damn it it was a good movie is that the robot falling apart that's because the other son would taunt him because he could really eat and so the robot kid started almost feeling like, well, if he can eat, I can eat. I'm the real son, too.

And then it started like things went bad. Oh, boy. I never saw that movie. Oh, it's so crazy. It's so trippy. And then eventually, like the robot lives forever. But he actually loves this family and this woman like a mother. But then eventually everyone dies out.

And he's like still like the world. Oh, you spoil alerted the shit out of that movie. When did that movie come out 1990 i'm sorry i couldn't hold it in any longer i've been waiting a while to talk there's this thing that somebody sent me online hayley joel was six in it there's this thing that someone sent me online where you can make an AI-generated boyfriend.

Well, I did like a bunch of AI girls on OnlyFans. I like when it goes silent and a star just goes across the sky. There's a bunch of AI-generated girls on OnlyFans.

Whoa. Oh, I didn't know that. Whoa. I don't know if that's true. But you can literally have a relationship. 100%. 100%.

Tell me if that's true. You can make your own boyfriend on AI. Before I got that, this popped up. What does it say? Somebody sent me a link. Osment was Spielberg's first and only choice for the role. To portray the character, Osment avoided blinking his eyes and programmed himself with good posture. Yo.

Something that said, I saw on a Reddit post that said he didn't blink for a year. I bet that... He played a robot boy so well. This movie is trippy as fuck. I bet the trailer's crazy, too. He lost his ability to blink. I don't know which of these statements are true. Wait, what do you mean?

How do you not blink for an entire year? I don't think that's really possible. That's fucked up. What happens when you go to sleep? Listen, we saw him on the plane. Something happened to him. He lost his ability to blink. Could he close his eyes? That doesn't count as a blink. It's not quick. No, closing your him on the plane. Something happened to him. Lost his ability to blink. Could he close his eyes?

That doesn't count as a blink. It's not quick. No, closing your eyes is different than blinking, right? Now I'm talking about blinking. Blinking is pretty quick. How do you not blink for a whole year? Sometimes when I don't blink. I'm sure when no one was looking, he was getting a few in.

Don't worry, you guys. That's like not shitting for a whole year. I can't believe this is the actual title. It wasn't allowed to blink. Stop blinking. You have to stop blinking. Stop again. This is so stupid.

Those are the director's notes. You have to stop blinking. Less blinking. Haley Joel Osment stops blinking for one year. When Spielberg tells you not to blink, you stop blinking. I'm sorry. Spielberg, if you're listening,

I will not blink. If you put me in a movie, I'll stop blinking for a year. I'll stop blinking. I'm sorry. Spielberg, if you're listening, I will not blink if you put me in a movie. I'll stop blinking for a year. I'll stop blinking for a year, too. You guys think you play good robots? Yeah. Yeah. You both went into robot mode. Yeah. How long before you think, like, we're gonna

go over someone's house and they're gonna have a robot, like, clean it up? Well, remember that show Small Wonder? No. Okay. Can you, Small Wonder, Vicky, was one of my favorite shows. She was just like this house robot. What?

You guys don't know what I'm talking about? It was one of my favorite shows. Even Kim's looking at you. I've never heard of that. Small Wonder. Oh yeah, Small Wonder. No one talks about it. People need to talk more about Small Wonder.

Or not. Look, she's a robot. No one talks about it. People need to talk more about Small Wonder. Or not. Look, she's a robot. I grew up watching this. She's a broken robot. What is she doing? What in the fuck were you watching as a child? That's what makes her a robot? That she shrugs her shoulders?

No, she cleans and she does a lot of stuff. What? No, this is really weird. You watch this movie? This show? It's a series. I used to watch it. It was my favorite show.

This is why you need Adderall. This is why you started watching. You see her outfit? I'd like to wear that. This did something to you as a child. How have you guys never seen this? Ew, I hate this. And if you look at her back. Oh my god, this is the most offensive show of all time.

This is so crazy. Wait, it was my favorite show. She's got sparks coming out of her back. Sparks coming out of her back. She's broken at one point, John. And one time she starts smoking cigarettes, and it's crazy. Did she have the personality of a child, or did she just... Whoa, imagine that.

She's fucking up your kids. Vicky! I'm a prisoner in my own home! He is a prisoner in his own home. He has a good point. The parents should reconsider Vicky living there. The parents are letting this robot

pick your fucking kid up and threaten it with violence. I mean, have some control in that. Look at her back. Fuck, who's going on? Her back is all like digital. Like a toy. Yeah.

She kind of looks like a young you. I was obsessed with this show. She would be vacuuming. She'd be smoking cigarettes. It was one of my favorite a young you. I was obsessed with this show. She would be vacuuming. She'd be smoking cigarettes. It was one of my favorite shows growing up. Okay. So weird. Very weird.

There's a lot of bad shows. I was going to be here for Halloween one year, but I thought it was more mainstream. No, a lot of people know Small Wonder. I'm shocked you guys don't, to be honest. No, I do. How long was it on for? I don't know. I think one season, 1985.

That's it? You had to be there for three months. It was always on my TV. You had to be there from January to March. I thought they had like 10 seasons because it was always on. Sweetie, January through March, 85. If you caught Small Wonder, you were hooked. Jesus Christ.

Oh, no, I'm sorry. It had a couple of runs. It had a couple of seasons. How many? I want to know what you were going to ask. Three to four. Okay, that makes me feel better. Are you what?

What? Are you what? What were you going to say? A robot? You went, are you? I don't remember what I was going to say. Are you? Okay.

That's where I was heading. Are you still on Adderall? No. Do you wish you were? No. Not at all? No. You never want to taste?

No. Feeling a little down? It You never want to taste? No. Feel a little down? It feels really nice to be able to sleep. I mean, I was on it for so long. And when you're on it, it also makes you, it's really hard to live in the present moment when you're just thinking about sending emails. Right. You know what I mean?

Mm-hmm. Like, I didn't really have much inner peace when i was on it i gotta tell you i can't imagine how you were living because you constantly still think about emails she thinks about emails more than anyone i know so it was just like a hundred times whatever she's already on top of it like she already is whatever it's doing yeah maybe it rewired you. Maybe. Maybe it made you more... Those are grooves that you naturally go into now. Because of the neural pathways

or something. It dug something new. It dug some new corridors. The one thing about it was it would make me a bitch. Because you would take it. I would take it. And some spunk back in 2007. I'll tell you why.

You start coming down from it and you're kind of just like aggro. Oh, that makes sense. You're like, ugh. When did you stop taking it? In 2019. Right after Brody died. It was literally Brody died and I was like, I need to stop taking Adderall's because I was so sad.

I just wanted to sleep. So I just stopped taking it cold turkey. And then I went into a psychosis. And then ever since then, I've never taken it again. How long did the psychosis last? Like three days. It was crazy. I think I feel like it lasted longer for you because before you even left,

there was a few days of like it built up to it. It was like a slow create i don't think it just hit and was three days and was over it was like a almost like you're being especially like with my experience with you it's like i was being gaslit like not gaslit but i'm like am i is she off or am i just being judgmental you know what i mean where you're like there's a few days where you're like i think something's off or maybe she's in a really good mood and you kind of, I'm not sure to question it or maybe I'm off and I'm annoyed by her good mood, but I'm like, something's weird.

Let me tell you, going to the psych ward will change you. 72 hours psychiatric hold will do something to you. What happened in there? When I got there. Good food, apparently. The best food. The best food. Well, but also i probably wasn't eating for like 10 years because i was cracked out on that or also when i it was just food it was just it was actually just food um a lot the best part of being in there was there

was like a music segment where they this old guy would come in and he'd have like a tambourine and we'd all sit around. Some old retirement home entertainment going on. No, but it was like, it was the only thing I looked forward to, like the music time. Because it was like all these, it was just like four mentally ill people being like, what song do you want to hear? I'm like, can you do Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young? He's like, I can. I'm like, great.

It sounds kooky in there. It's very kooky. There was a guy who, I remember I looked over, and he wasn't wearing pants. And he was on the phone with his wife. And when you're on the phone, the phone's a short cord, so you don't hang yourself with it. Let me tell you.

This dude with no pants, like right next to the phone this chick I became friends with this chick she's like we gotta get a lawyer to get out of here I was like you're right I'm like calling my parents I'm like I need a lawyer to get out of here they're like we put you in there you're not getting a lawyer to get out of there.

Oh, my God. That's hilarious. All right, ladies. I'm going to wrap this up. Okay. Fun times. Tell everybody how to get your podcast, where you are on social media. Hell, yeah.

It's this bitch, Spotify, iTunes, YouTube. Wherever you find podcasts. Wherever you find podcasts. New episodes of that every Monday. And then you can find me on Wednesday on Shank. That's S-H-E-N-K. And for show dates at Princess Shank. That's Princess Like Normal.

And then another S-H-E-N-K. Yeah, that's us. That's us. Yes, this bitch podcast. KimCongdon.com for show dates. Make sure you check out my special Childless MILF. I'm recording it. It's coming out in the new year.

I'm very excited about it. The Kim Congdon Takeover podcast. I don't know when this comes out, but I have some shows in Austin this week. So check out my social media for that. All right. Beautiful. Thank you, ladies. Thank you.

Bye, everybody. Thank you, Joe. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.