The Joe Rogan Experience - #2075 - Protect Our Parks 10 (Part 1)

Episode Date: December 13, 2023

Shane Gillis, Mark Normand, and Ari Shaffir are stand-up comics, writers, and podcasters. Shane is the co-host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast" with Matt McCusker and one half of the sketch comedy duo "Gilly and Keeves" with John McKeever. Watch his stand-up special "Beautiful Dogs" on Netflix, and catch him as "Gilly" on Peacock's "Bupkis." www.shanemgillis.comMark is the co-host of the podcasts "Tuesdays with Stories" with Joe List and "We Might Be Drunk" with Sam Morril. Watch his stand-up special "Soup to Nuts" on Netflix.www.marknormandcomedy.comAri is the host of "The Skeptic Tank" and "You Be Trippin'" podcasts. Watch his comedy special "Ari Shaffir: Jew" is available now via YouTube. www.arishaffir.com

The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night All day Yeah We're back We're back kids Let's fucking go Let's go

Happy Holidays Happy Holidays Happy Holidays Merry Christmas To you Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Nobody Merry Christmas. Nobody cares about Kwanzaa anymore.

Kwanzaa's out. It had its run. Take that, Jude-off. Is that out? No one talking about it? No one cares. It's not canceled. It's just irrelevant.

Well, yeah. What about this menorah? I think we're on day five of this weird, wacky, deep holiday. Do we have enough candles missing? Yeah, we have the right amount. There you go. Damn. Adolf.

Are we going to get in trouble with the president of Harvard for lighting this? Just say genocide is bad. I can't do it. I can't. Come on. It's so good sometimes. Did she get busted for plagiarizing today? No.

Who did? The president of Harvard. For saying genocide is right? Mein Kampf. Hitler said that. She plagiarized her dissertation. Oh, really? Oh, shit.

Harvard's got some great talent out there. Yikes. Well, she's gone now, right? I think they fired her. I don't think so. I think some of them are gone and some of them aren't. What's the latest on those three ladies? We should play

that video because the video is fucking insane. It's wild. The congressman is like, what? What? It's insane. You've got to get those three. It's a congresswoman, right? Get them on here. Get them on. You can conduct genocide. Or you can't conduct. You've got to get them in there like, what's your favorite

genocide? Rank your top six genocides. Spanish Inquisition. Spanish Inquisition was a good one. Does that count? Is that a gen? Gen Z? I'm gonna send this to you, Jamie. I guess it does. Here we go. Cheers.

I forgot the eggnog. I haven't even seen that video yet. Cheers, gentlemen. I haven't seen it. You haven't seen the video? The video is going to drive me nuts. It's pretty wild. I'm telling you, this Hamas is poking a hole in everything.

It's all good, except for the dead people. Okay, but if you want to get really crazy about this while I'm wearing this fucking mustache and glasses. Do you ever wonder? Do you ever wonder about whether or not there's foreign influence in the way things are discussed on college campuses? Much less than you. What do you mean foreign influence? I think there's been an ideological capture of colleges. And Yuri Bezmenov, the former KGB guy from the Soviet Union, when he defected, he talked about this like openly that the Soviet Union has been trying to do this forever.

They've been trying to demoralize America by infecting their educational institutions. And it's a multi-generational approach. You infect the kids with Marxism and Leninism in the universities, and then you indoctrinate them to these ideas, and then they go off and slowly start to seep into the workplace. And over the course of several generations, you completely diminish their confidence in democracy and what they think about America. You destroy all of the confidence that they have in America. And that's exactly what's happening.

Could be. When they're saying Osama bin Laden was correct to do 9-11- I wish you would have said all that with the Asian mask on. I know. Damn it. The mask is too- It was too hard to form sentences. The only thing I was thinking of, oh, the weather outside.

That's all I was thinking. It's like that. It's a great song. Let's play the video, Jamie, because this video- This is video to me, it seems like this is like a great example of the madness. Pull it up, J-Mo. Of our current era. This is the madness encapsulated because it's literally like the heads of some of the most prestigious educational institutions. These are the people that are teaching young people.

These are the people that you take the brightest young minds that get to go to Harvard. The fucking watch. God damn it. The brightest young minds that get to go to Harvard. That's the school.

It's the fucking school. Oh, yeah. It's the intellectual peak in terms of the way we view really the world. Listen to what she's saying. Put the headphones on, boys. Fuck.

We can always put the ears back. Why does the genocide of Jews violate Penn's rules or code of conduct? Yes or no? If the speech turns into conduct, it can be harassment. Why is she smiling? I am asking, specifically calling for the genocide of Jews, does that constitute bullying or harassment? If it is directed and severe or pervasive, it is harassment.

So the answer is yes. It is a context-dependent decision, Congresswoman. It's a context-dependent decision. That's your testimony today? Calling for the genocide of Jews is depending upon the context? That is not bullying or harassment? This lady is correct. This is the easiest question to answer. Yes, Ms. McGill. Jews is depending upon the context that is not bullying or harassment the easiest Question to answer yes, miss McGill is she a Jew? I don't know seems like it seems like a good Catholic

Why she's smiling She's getting worked up. That's the best. The speech is not harassment. This is unacceptable. You must love this as a Jewish man. I'm going to give you one more opportunity for the world to see your answer. Does calling for the genocide of Jews violate Penn's code of conduct when it comes to bullying

and harassment? Yes or no? It's an easy answer oh wow listen this what's the context it Targeted as an individual? Targeted at an individual? It's targeted at Jewish students, Jewish individuals. Do you understand your testimony is dehumanizing them? Do you understand that dehumanization is part of antisemitism? I will ask you one more time. Damn.

Does calling for the genocide of Jews violate Harvard's rules of bullying and harassment? Yes or no? Anti-Semitic rhetoric. And is it anti-Semitic rhetoric? Anti-Semitic rhetoric when it crosses into conduct that amounts to bullying, harassment.

Wow, they can't do it. This is just ladies versus ladies arguments. No one's going anywhere. They're locked in, dude. I've had a tough morning, too. We need Herb Dean to stand them back up. Pause for a second. This is literally one of the most clear things, if you would imagine, in society.

Just imagine 10 years ago, before any of this woke shit really took off. Could you imagine there would ever be a time before the Palestine thing, would there ever be a time where you would be in Congress? You would be on television? You would be talking to the head of a university, not a wacky student, not some crazy person that's a part of some far left psycho organization. The fucking president. And they can't say that calling for the genocide of Jews, just Jews, period, is harassment.

It's fucking insane. It's weird. It seems like textbook harassment. It's way worse. Calling for genocide. It's calling for genocide. Forget about black people. What if you said, I call for the genocide of Cambodians?

Yes, of course. They'd be like, no, you can't do that. Right, insane. Insane. Genocide of Filipinos. Yeah, or if they go- It's not harassment. It's evil, but it's not harassment.

Harassment means this. This is more like- If it's actionable. It's actionable means murder. You're literally talking about murder. But that means if it's actionable- So actionable is murder. That means if you, yeah, you have to commit genocide for it.

But that means if you say, fuck black people, then that's okay? Is that what she's saying too? No, it's not. I wish there was a follow-up question. If it's actionable. She's saying if it's actionable. I mean, what the fuck is she saying? It takes a lot for us four tards to be like, this is offensive.

This is crazy. It's a lot for us four tards to be like, this is offensive. This is crazy. So, Jamie, someone on Twitter is reporting that she's also in trouble for plagiarism. That the lady from Harvard is, that there's accusations of plagiarism. Fucking Dr. Gay. Dr. Gay. This is from a guy, Christopher F. Rufo.

I do not know his background. Writer, City Journal, senior fellow, Manhattanist. Dave Smith. Teaching and lecturing at Hills Dairy, New York. Followed by Dave Smith. So maybe he's legit. I'm assuming he's legit. He's on the ground floor with this shit. That means he's either a complete fake account.

It says real. Scroll back again. It says real Chris Brunette. And I have obtained documentation demonstrating that Harvard president Claudine Gay plagiarized multiple sections of her PhD thesis violating Harvard's policies on academic integrity. It only violates its policy if it's actionable. Yeah. So she lifted an entire paragraph nearly verbatim from a paper. Again, we don't know if this is true.

We're just saying what this Christopher F. Ruffo guy is tweeting, and I haven't researched it at all. By the way. While passing it off as her own paraphrase and – okay, so she lifted an entire paragraph – go back so I can read that, please. Nearly verbatim from a paper, Lawrence Bobo and Franklin Gilliams, while passing it off as her own paraphrase and language. This is a direct violation of Harvard's policy. When you paraphrase, your task is to distill, distorts, and ideas. Show more. The old men see ya.

Yeah. Distorts his ideas into your own words. It's not enough to change a few words here and there and leave the rest. Instead, you must completely restate the ideas in the passage in your own words. If your own language is too closely original, then you are plagiarizing even if you do provide a citation. That's fair. She does provide the citation there at the top. But it's even with a citation.

It says even if you do provide a citation. Whatever. That seems crazy. Citation means they wrote this. I'm more mad about the Jew hate. Yeah. This one is super murky. Okay, so let's go on to the next one. It says Gay repeats his violation of Harvard's policy throughout the document, again using work from Bobo and Gilliam as well as patches from Richard Shingles,

Susan Howell, and Deborah Fagan, which she reproduces nearly verbatim. Gay stolen Fagan? That's hilarious. Without quotation marks. Okay. But listen, if she's talking about their work though I'm a little murky here this parts irrelevant to what's going on that's not important it doesn't matter here's the thing it's like it doesn't I mean giving

attribution is important but isn't everybody's work compiled upon the work of the people that came before them it's if you're talking about specific things like I don't know what her thesis was on but If you're talking about specific things, like I don't know what her thesis was on, but if you're talking about a very specific area that a lot of people have crossed over and you've read a lot of their work, even if you put it in your own words, it's going to seem like you're

just repeating. But the issue at hand is not whether she's plagiarized. The issue at hand is whether we're thinking about the truth. We're piling on now. But it is because the thing is like why does a person like that get to that position? That's why it matters. It matters is, like, is that person a rigorous intellectual? Is that person someone who, you know, is, like, really done the work, or they've been kind of fudging it a little here and there?

I don't know. Someone used to live in Hollywood. I don't have the answer. No gay has ever gotten a head when they don't deserve it. Dr. Gay. Imagine if that wasn't really her last name. She changed it. Dr. Omo.

She changed it. No, a full Whoopi Goldberg. That's right. Or Jamie Foxx. Well, now she's writing for the Daily Storm. How wild is it that this is going on? It's nutty. We were talking about it last night that it's a mind virus. It really is.

It has all the symptoms of a mind virus, but it just doesn't have, there's not a bacteria that you can see in a microphone. Well, it's the hierarchies are coming back to haunt them. It's like black woman is better than cis man. Jew is white dude. Is white. So you can shit on him. So there's no nuance. It's just white is bad. Brown is good. A Jew is white dude. Is white. So you can shit on him. So there's no nuance.

It's just white is bad. Brown is good. It's not just white. It's white in positions of power. Right. And it's white in positions of power in a lot of key industries. Like, if you really, like, think about the financial industry, the movie industry, the music industry. Why are they processing Jordan?

It's just they're good at it. Yeah. But because of that, that's why anti-Semitism is a weirdly accepted form of racism. It's a weird one, man. It's a weird one. It's weird, too, because

I grew up a Jew, so I kind of get it. But it's like, you can't take it that far. You've got to go individual people. You guys are successful, but you get the hate, and you don't get the oppression points, either. You get no oppression points as a person of color. You can only be minority owners. Yeah, you're only a minority. Yeah.

You don't even get to be one of the whites. Exactly. We make our own country clubs. People are like, nah, we didn't like that. Crazy. Yeah, we're strict. You don't even get to be one of the whites. Exactly. We make our own country clubs. People are like, no, we didn't like that. Crazy. Yeah, we're strict. You guys run everything. And you're still not successful.

Currently the least sexable comedian. It's just crazy, too, because you can also see the perspective of people that think about the innocent Palestinians. And you go, this is is insane this bombing is insane Yeah, because of this one attack now you're allowed to kill how many? Thousands of civilians how many people got me it'd been funny if Israel just attacked Iraq Yeah, just went to it, but we did after 9-11 just a few motherfuckers. Yeah, what? 27 year olds weren't alive during 9-11, so they don't remember any of this. Or they're not of memory age.

Yeah, that's important. So they were like, oh, they see Osama bin Laden's letters, like, yep, he should have attacked. They have no emotional connection to it. Crazy. But that's, again, that's TikTok. I swear to God, I really do wonder how much of an influence. Like, I want to think that some of it is just organic stupidity but I do know that some of it has to be

being influenced by other countries and I think it's easy to do I think we're so silly and when we're young when we're getting taught by these fucking people in universities so you get away from your Fox News dad right you get away from Shane Gillis and you're Shane Gillis'

kid and you get to go to some fucking University and you know call him up and tell him that everything's racist yeah and my professor's smarter than you yeah you're getting indoctrinated to these whole new sets of ideas you do have on Twitter and now on threads the same post 75 different times oh yeah a hundred percent the bots Duncan told me this ten years ago that he said three quarters or half of whatever it was

of all the anti-Star Wars tweets were Russian bots. Just testing to see if he could drive us against each other for when it mattered. Dude, 19 of the top.

Duncan lies a lot. That sounded like a Duncan lie. Duncan's a Star Wars? Hey, man! The fucking Star Wars thing's fake! I don't think there is an Obi-Wan.

His wife gets in on it. I didn't know that. She was really funny. He was in there last week. She's hilarious. He was complaining about the karaoke. And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, this just isn't real karaoke.

Look, they're shadowing on the machine. Yeah, and then his wife sat down and was like, oh, yeah, this is not karaoke. I was like, oh, you're funny, too. Are you fucking? Oh, she's funny. Even karaoke's not real. That's a hilarious conspiracy. That is hilarious.

It is nutty. It's a wacky time. And both sides will refuse to accept anything on the other side. It's not going to end until shit like this happens. It has to hit a breaking point. I think we're getting there. That thing about surrounding some Jewish student just trying to go to class. Do you see that video I sent you?

Refusing to let him move. Yeah. It's like, what are you guys doing exactly? This is at Harvard. Did I send it to you, Jamie? No, I'm sorry. I didn't. I sent it to you guys.

KMO. I sent it to our parks group. But it's just a kid going to class. Just kids going to class. And they're just harassing him because he looks like a Jew. He is one. But this. I used to do that in high school.

The fact that this is happening. He's a Jew. Get him. He's probably going to class with some shit. I'd say, there's that motherfucker. Where are you going? To study? And he'd say, is this about Palestine?

I'd go, what? Never heard of it. What the fuck is that? This is just good old- Try to be a doctor, bitch. All right, I send it to you, Jamie. But, hey, the Jews are fighting back with the no money. But this is Harvard.

Come on now. They're pulling all their money from all these colleges. So that's a good Jew attack. That'll end everything. That's really the only way this is hard they're pulling their money from all these colleges, so that's a good job I think that'll end everything that's really the only way this is gonna stop the only way people are gonna wake the fuck up It like what are you teaching these kids? Yeah? Why are they thinking this kid tries to duck on? The yelling shame He's not doing anything. Oh, man. He's wearing a book bag. This is insane.

This is literally someone just trying to walk to class. Man, during Hanukkah, too. Just shame? They're just yelling your name, Shane. In the caption, the guy who tweeted it wrote, it says, no Israeli flag, just a Jew. Tell me it's anti-Zionism and not anti-Semitism. Jewish students in American universities are unsafe.

What is Harvard doing to support the freedoms, liberties, and rights of Jewish students to merely exist on campus? Okay, I'm just trying to get away. And this is Yuval David on Twitter wrote this. This is insane. It's insane. How did they know he was a Jew? Because people think I'm a Jew. So would they just know?

I think you might be one. That one is. They know him maybe. They know him. I wonder if that kid gave like a –? Because people think I'm a Jew. They just know. They think you might be one. That one is. They know him, maybe. They know him. I wonder if that kid gave like a, there can't be just they saw a Jewish guy. Who knows? He might have walked by. Maybe he gave a speech.

A protest and said like, Israel rules. He picked up a nickel. Yeah, who knows? Who knows what it is? But it's still, that's kind of insane. It's definitely insane. It's kind of insane. Even if they have any sort of dispute on anything you're physically getting that person's way and holding up flags and screaming in their face if that's not harassment.

Remember that professor they fucking locked in a classroom with baseball bats trying to get to him? What? At like some university like 10 years ago. Oh maybe it was one of your guys. You think Brett Weinstein? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brett Weinstein. It's like guys these college students are kind of dumb. They're smart but they're one of your guys. You think Brett Weinstein? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brett Weinstein. It's like, guys, these college students are kind of dumb.

They're smart, but they're kind of dumb worldly. And so they don't know what to do. Like, let's surround this one. Yeah. And just push them around a little bit. But their brains aren't even formed yet. He's a Jew, too. That was the good old days when he just got attacked for a wrong opinion.

Yeah. During the Black Lives Matter, like, whatever, the bad parts of it, there were, like, black people surrounding Target. Guys, this isn't the way. This isn't the way. Well, the Brett Weinstein thing was about race. Join in, Shane bad parts of it. There were, like, black people surrounding Target. Guys, this isn't the way. This isn't the way. Well, the Brett Weinstein thing was about race. Join in, Shane. That's right.

I want to see this one out, fellas. It was a day where they were telling people that were white people they had to stay home. Sounds nice. It used to be. Indians are, like, sweet. It used to be a day of appreciation for people of color. So people of color, Native Americans, whoever, you could stay home and get paid, and they appreciated the fact,

oh, you're valuable, but work is harder without you here. You know, you get the day off, you get paid. And so then they changed it. The kids said they wanted to make it where white people had to stay home. And they're like, you can't deny people the ability to come to work. It wasn't what it was before.

What it was before is like you cannot work if you don't want to. You can take the day off. Right. And this is why white people can't come in. They just don't have it. They're like, okay, now you're segregated. Yeah, yeah. They just haven't thought it out.

What does it say here? The confrontation was triggered when the student attempted to film the demonstrators' faces, leading to his removal from the protest by organizers, according to the New York Post. Okay. So they were mad at him because he was trying to find out who was saying all these things. So he's filming their faces. Then the question is, okay, what were they saying? Because if they were calling for death to the Jews, hey, maybe he should fucking be upset at that.

Also, he was just trying to get away. Once this is like, leave him alone. He's leaving. Yeah. Once you're blocking him with flags. Shame. It's also trying to find enemies in America about shit that's going on across the globe. 100%.

These guys, nobody here is doing it either way. You get into a fight in front of a cop station in New York. Both of you guys are arrested. None of you have any ability to change it. And then the bail reform. And they'll get out in two seconds. You're you guys are arrested. None of you have any ability to change it. And the bail reform. And they'll get out in two seconds. You're breathing into the mic like crazy. I'm trying to find who's doing it. I look over

and Ari's just going, because I'm going to get blamed for that. Someone's going to go, Shane's a badass who's breathing into the mic. I get blamed for farts. You farted at fucking Target. Instantly I got blamed. This guy came over and recognized us. And he goes, we're big fans. I'm like, you're not going to be. He just lit off a huge fart. Ari just goes,arts You farted at fucking Target Instantly I got blamed This guy came over Recognized us And he goes

We're big fans I'm like you're not gonna be He just lit off a huge fart Or he just goes Shane just farted I was like That was dickhead You got fart face

Always gotta blame the big guy It was the aisles The plane's the worst When I'm on a plane It stinks like shit I'm like Everyone's looking at me Yeah

I'm wearing sweatpants I'm drinking Right Right Speaking of Native American You see that Choctaw kid? The Chiefs? The Kansas City Chiefs kid? I love that kid.

That was crazy. That was crazy. That was so funny. What was the newspaper that said Deadspin? They totally fucking hosed him. Totally hosed him. They said he was in blackface, and they showed a picture of one side of his face. He was wearing war paint, and he's Native American.

I love that. It was just a Chiefs game. It's also, to get racially sensitive at a fucking Kansas City Chiefs game, you're at the wrong place. Also. The entire stadium of white people is going, You're going to pick the one kid? It's so crazy to put up a kid's picture. A child.

And get it wrong! Not just get it wrong. Get it wrong and know you're getting it wrong. And then he doubled down when he was wrong. Oh my God, look at this. On Monday, the left-wing publication Deadspin alleged that the football fan identified as Holden Armenta found a way to hate black people and the Native Americans at the same time. That's

not easy. Imagine that. Why is it hate, though? Why do we go right to hate? That's the bummer. Look at that hateful motherfucker. He's a sweet kid. What a hate monger. He probably loves pizza. So, what is his background? He has some Native American background. Oh, he owns

a casino. His background is he loves football, like a real American. True. Yeah, he's part Native American. So it says his child's father is the son of Raul Armenta, a business committee member of the Santa Ynez Board of Chumash Indians. Oh, Jesus. He's deep. He's a real Native American.

That's so funny. They're like, he must be hateful. It's like, wait, can I just be Native American? So this fucking kid is literally dressing like his ancestors. Wow. And they're calling it, he's hating black people. And bro, they're getting paid for this one. Woo-wee.

Indian giver. I would love to see these publications, how many positive. Indian giver didn't sneak by me. I was just lighting my cigar. That was a good one. I had to do a casino in Oklahoma this week. The chief showed up.

Clip bragging. The chief showed up and sat with his other people sat in the front. Dude, you're blocking everybody. I fucking bombed.

Did you get panicky because he was there? Yeah, right before I go on stage, the guy who runs the production there goes, hey, just so you know, the chief's here.

This is the first time he's seen a show in like 10 years. They wanted to come to see this. Oh, my God. I was like, they have no fucking idea who I am. Your joke's about Donald Trump. Why would you think they don't have any idea who you are? They live in America. No, but they definitely, I don't think they do.

He's like a seven-year-old fucking chief from Oklahoma. Yeah, but he's probably online. Probably gets some funny TikToks. He has good Trump. This guy has good Trump impression. Trump's down syndrome. Syndrome with down. There was a comic in the 70s who was Native American who would go,

he did the Tonight Show. Charlie Hill. Hi, how are you? Hi, how are you? Yeah, it's so nice. Charlie Hill was a good dude. Is he still around? No, he died.

He got scalped. Charlie Hill was cool. He was a cool guy. Charlie Hill was nice. He was always nice. Always friendly, man. Always cool to cool guy. Charlie Hill was nice. He was always nice. Always friendly, man. Always cool to hang out with at the store. Well, they're nice people.

And that guy was around from like the 70s, right? He was in the early, the prior days. Early boom. You had to have an act. You had to have a specific thing. Right. You had to be like, this is who I am. It was like early WWF.

That's good whiskey. That's hilarious. That was really good whiskey. Buffalo Trace, son. I usually don't drink. Can you hit me again there? Fuck yeah. Chachi.

Muchachi. I'm Muchachi. Chumash. Muchaheddin. Not bad. You look like Muchaheddin. You look like Arafat. Yeah.

All right. Me? He's Arafat. Damn it. What happened to Arafat? This is the oldest from the oldest distillery in America. This shit, they started making this shit

before America. This company was started in 1773. They're occupiers. Probably killed a few There's probably some blood in this fucking barrel. Hell yeah. Cracker barrel. It's nutty. You gotta stay away from it.

Sorry. I waited. It's just what I was saying about the mind virus thing. We'll get you back. These fucking people. These fucking people really are sick. Like, we know they're sick. Like, that's sick.

Like, just watching that. That's sick. But also thinking you're completely correct and this is right to do. To slap Nick DiPaolo was correct. Somebody slapped Nick DiPaolo? Yeah, some lady didn't like his stuff. But it was like, not only do I think you're wrong.

When did this happen? Eight years ago. So someone wrote an article saying to slap him is correct? No, someone just came after a show and was like, hey, that was wrong. Slapped him. He had a black eye. Yeah. Oh, damn.

Yeah, she got him. Big fat lady. Oh, I remember this. Is it Leviton? I remember this. But it'svitical? I remember this. That's right. But it's the jump from you're morally wrong to I am correct to do whatever I want. There's no like, I should just tell you I don't like you versus I should arrest you versus anything.

Right. Yeah, that's the punch Nazis thing. Yeah. You know, I was talking to Metzger about this because one of his friends was like, yeah, you should punch Nazis. Metzger's like, yeah, but who gets to decide who the fucking Nazi is? Yeah, it's not agreed upon yet. Yeah, that's what the problem is. You're saying just like

someone who supports Trump is a Nazi. You can just go and punch them because they support Trump. That's crazy. Yeah, you've been called Nazi. I've been called Nazi a lot. Hilarious. What'd you get called Nazi for? I don't know, dude. He said the K word. Did they know who you were? It was just random people. What? Was it random? Did they see this beard you're rocking? Yeah, maybe not.

This is a fucking moose. This is a Moses beard. Yeah. That's a dude who's leading people across a river. Leading them right into deep water. Look at that beard, son. It's pretty nice, huh? That's fresh. Thanks. I like it a lot, actually. I'm glad. Almost a year. Nine months since I've touched it. You know what? It's very Rick Rubin-esque.

Smells like pussy. I almost threw him out of year. Nine months. You know what? It's very Rick Rubin-esque. Smells like pussy. I almost threw him out of the comedy store once. Rick Rubin? What? I got a theory on that guy. I'm working the back door. What's your theory? I think he had a couple good ideas of the 90s, and now he's riding off this guru beard thing. He's legit.

Come on. No, no, no. He's legit. I just saw that Tom Petty documentary about wildflowers. He's barefoot, so he seems smart. Dude, I'm telling you. It's not a baders. He's barefoot, so he seems smart. Dude, I'm telling you. It's not a bad theory.

He really is that guy. Could trim his eyebrow hair, though. No, you got to trust me. Look who's talking there. He's out of his fucking mind, but he really is that guy. Eyebrow hair is wild. He's not bullshitting you. Yeah, but if he didn't look like that, you wouldn't listen to him.

Yeah, but he looks like that because he really is that guy. He's out of his fucking mind. Oh, really? In the best way possible. He's a very interesting guy. I think he plays dumb. Not that he plays dumb. He plays dumb when he's like, I don't know anything about music. He's just never trying to seem smart. Ever. He doesn't try to seem smart.

Barefoot. I don't mind your theory. Put a shoe on. I know the guy. I know the guy well. I like him a lot. He was in the back of the comedy store and he just looked homeless. He looks like that. So I was like had to fucking throw him out. I was 160 pounds. What about you, Skid Row?

Yeah. I probably saw you guys fighting. Two goddamn bums got in here and started wrestling. And I was blocked his way, and then Chris Rock went up to him, started talking to him, and I was like, this is odd for a homeless guy. Nah. And then I waited, and somebody told me the name. I definitely recognized the name.

Bro, that's the best look ever, to be looking like that and step out of a Rolls. Right, right. And flip flops on. That's the best look of all time.'s like Portland Kings a Malibu thing right that would be a Malibu thing what about they got the big big at the beer yeah pull them up there they're hot guys I'm begging sworn I was just with them no I'm had those beads oh they shave oh well unless these guys are lying about being in Kingsley well ZZ Top is the ultimate, right?

Yeah. They had the ultimate beards. ZZ Bottom. That was their whole thing. ZZ Top used to go into the Pink Dot. They'd pay with $2 bills, the one of the guys. And they would always stamp on it, eat pussy. Where's their beards?

Oh, they shaved. They stamped eat pussy? They never had beards, bro. I swear to God they had beards. They had beards. Come on, Ari. What are you talking about? They all had beards.

Wow, they're like cute. They caught up. Kings of Leon with beards. I've never seen them without one. It looks like throughout all the years, they've never. Oh, there we go. Yeah, there it is. There it is. One guy?

No, to the right, to the right. It's two. Maybe it's just the one guy. Maybe it was the one guy. Shit, sorry, everybody. It's just a mustacho. Oh, that's a fresh mustache, too, though. Yeah, that's nice.

Great head of hair. Peyote shirt. That's not bad. There's something about someone with a beard. They seem smarter. There is. Well, Joe, it's interesting you say that. It is. Because it brings up a lot of hair. Peyote shirt. That's not bad. There's something about someone with a beard that seems smarter. There is. Well, Joe, it's interesting you say that. It is.

Because it brings up a lot of theories. One or two things. Either you seem more manly and brutish. You couldn't even pretend to sound smart. I was thinking of a smart word. He's so dumb. He was like, well, that's interesting. I have theories.

Here to four, I will notify. Here to four is pretty good. Actually, here's why you're wrong. Notify is not good. Chry, here's why you're wrong. Notify's not good. Chrysanthemum? There you go. That's good. Adrenochrome?

Comorbidities and such. Imagine if we found out that was true. Adrenochrome? Yeah. Imagine if we found out that that was true. That and Big Mike, I'm hoping for. That and Big Mike would be the two biggest ones. What would be more likely? What would be more likely? What's Big Mike? That's a great question. Adrenochrome or Big Mike I'm hoping for. That and Big Mike would be the two biggest ones. What would be more likely?

What would be more likely? What's Big Mike? That's a great question. A Jarena Chrome or Big Mike? What's Big Mike? More like Mike. That's the way Big Mike is. Don't start it.

Don't start it. Not him. What's Big Mike? You don't know Big Mike? Jesus Christ, of course you know. I'm at the forefront of Big Mike. I'm saying he doesn't know. What's Big Mike?

What's Big Mike? Don't worry about it. That's a long story. Why don't we Google Big Mike? Who is Big Mike? Just't worry about it. That's a long story. Why don't we Google Big Mike? Who is Big Mike? No, let's Google it. Oh, Mike Obama? Mike Obama? Let's not get this wrong. Okay, I've heard of it. Let's not get this wrong.

The whole thing's wrong. Let's just Google who is Big Mike and see what the results are. Let's see what the internet says. Trust the science. There's a rapper named Big Mike and that's what popped up. Big Mike meme explained bizarre conspiracy theory. It is bizarre. In reference to conspiracy theories alleging that Michelle Obama

is secretly transgender. Bob Lazar. Scroll down, Jamie, that one. Click on that. H-I-T-C. Bizarre conspiracy theory behind Michelle Obama memes. Now, this is another one.

When I see this and I see people saying that she's a man and all that, I'm like, oh, China got to you. They got you. They got you with the internet. If they can get you to think that Obama's married to a man. And by the way, if I was China, I would kill the chef. Kill the chef and blame it on me. Oh, he drowned. I would send in some Chinese Navy SEALs to grab that dude.

Keep pushing him down. Push his head down. Put him out. Put him out underwater and then just leave him there. Maybe pull his pants down. Take his pants off. What are the Chinese Special Forces called? I don't know. They probably have them, though.

They must have them. Chop. That was an alley-oop. You got Noah dumped in. Chop, Cope, Louie. I just feel like if I was going to get a guy in trouble, that's not... Do something, blame it on him.

The Oriental Sword? I knew it was going to be awesome. Oriental Sword. That's a dope name. Isn't that interesting because you're not Right. The Oriental Sword? I knew it was going to be awesome. Oriental Sword. Whoa. That's a dope name. I knew it was going to be awesome. That's a dope name. That's killer.

Isn't that interesting because you're not supposed to say Oriental anymore. It's like National Colored People or whatever the thing is. Right. NCAA. Yeah. NCAA. NCAA. NCAA.

NAACP. Not NCAA. NCAA. The whiskey's really got me. It's the WNBA. No. It's that thing with the trans switches. That would be a horrible army. Oh got me. It's the WNBA. It's that thing with the trans switches. That would be a horrible army.

Oh, my God. It's hilarious. Oh, my God. Wait, wait, wait. It's literally called Oriental Sword? That's the name of their special forces? Damn. That's sick.

That's awesome. If you wanted to spread some memes, you want to get people to be suspicious. Yeah. I think Big Mike might have an Oriental sword, if you know what I'm talking about. Well, the wildest boy out there is Tucker Carlson. When Tucker Carlson has that homeless guy on, he said he sucked Barack Obama's dick.

That's what ONA did a long time ago. ONA had that guy on too? No, they had some crazy person talking about Condoleezza Rice. He's like, you've got to hold her down. She loves you. That'd be a good Special talking about Condoleezza Rice. He's like, you gotta hold her down. She loves you. Oh, God. That'd be a good Special Forces.

Condoleezza Rice for Asians. Oh, Jesus Christ. Didn't even stick the landing. Jesus Christ. The fucking angel fell. Not the angel. You caused the angel to fall. That's how bad the joke was. Bro, you look.

Condoleezza fried rice? Is that better? Oh, you son of a bitch. No, it's... Damn. That one doesn't even make sense. Well, they like rice. I get it.

All right. Damn! What were we talking about? Nothing good. If you were going to, like, try to get conspiracy theories started, if you were trying to undermine people's faith in the administration, what better way to do it than to say that the guy's gay and then to kill his chef and then say that's his lover. And look what happens.

You would have to really consider that kind of a... But if we kill him, everyone will think it's him. Oh, right. Yep, kill him. Exactly. That's what I would say. Because think, look, if they're willing to just fucking bomb the shit out of Gaza the way they're doing. If Ukraine and Russia are willing to bomb the shit out of each other the way they're doing it, you don't think that they would whack one dude off.

I mean, this is a 100% conspiracy theory that I just concocted. Yeah. But if it was Russia or China or Iran or some other foreign nation, if you wanted to fucking stir things up, kill the chef. Yeah. We're going to make him gay. Kill the chef. Make it look like they're a love triangle or something.

Yikes. Plant some rumor about a biography he was writing. Let's do it. A biography. That's like immediately you would, boy, the fucking tricks that they must play. Like we know that like that all that steel dossier, that pissing, that was all made up. They just made all that up 100%. Funded by Hillary Clinton.

Hillary Clinton funded a fake thing. Yeah, nobody cares, but that's all right. But no one cares. What? Everyone knows it and no one cares. Yeah, the Trump collusion, all that. All that shit was fake. They made it up and they ran it on the mainstream news for years.

Obama was like, I've seen the proof. It's about to come out. It's 100%. He did it. And then it just never came out. I hope Obama does have to address Big Mike. That would be nice. That would just be funny for him to be like, my wife doesn't have a cock.

If she does, lift it up her skirt. She gives it to her sweet pussy. Just once. Oh, yeah. And the pussy, too. Lift up her skirt. It bites back. Lift up her skirt It bites back Lift up her skirt And say shut the fuck up Reddit

Just like look There it is You wanna see where Three babies came out of You fucking idiot Yeah It's a big blitz A regular vagina

Shut the fuck up Yeah I mean don't they have pictures Of her as a young girl Like shut the fuck up Yeah She's a nice looking lady You'd be surprised

How hard they are to find. Do you know, do you imagine what a crazy thing that would be if someone pulled that off? It'd be the best. There's a story we were talking about last night about this, I think it was the 1800s. This guy had this wife and the wife died while the guy was out of town. It turned out the wife was really a man the whole time. And then the guy killed himself because he just couldn't deal with the shame of it all because everybody knew that he was married to a transgender woman yeah this

is like he knew he knew oh yeah he knew he just didn't know he didn't want the town knows the town thought that that was his wife he had come to terms with it that year you could just go to another town. There was no social media. Back then, they were fine. They didn't wear fucking Lululemon pants so you couldn't see his hog.

So he just wore a skirt, like a regular. If you're wearing a regular skirt from the 1800s, that's just a woman with rough features. It's actually a very sweet story. It's like a really beautiful... It's's nice. It's like a really beautiful. It's a broke back. Yeah. Broke back.

Romeo and Juliet. At the end, he couldn't take it. Romeo and Romeo. I don't know. Maybe it depends on what he killed himself for. If he killed himself because of the shame of being married to a guy, or did he kill himself for the shame or for the heartbreak? It could have just been he was sad he was alone.

Yeah. Those aren't blaming us, I think. They could pull that off back then easy. That's what I'm saying. A ton of women joined the Civil War. It could have just been he was like sad he was alone. Yeah. Those aren't blaming us. They could pull that off back then easy. There was like a ton of women joined the Civil War. Is that right?

Maybe he was killed by the Clintons. A lot of them fought in the war as dudes. Whoa. Yeah I think probably everybody

in the squad was like don't we obviously know that's a chick don't fucking blow this we can get some pussy while we're out here.

I didn't know you were a guy. Also if you're a wild girl and you're like there's just not enough dick in regular life. I need to go to Antietam. I didn't know you were a guy. Also, if you're a wild girl and you're like, there's just not enough dick in regular life. I need to go to Antietam. I need to get embedded

in a platoon and keep my mouth shut with my short haircut. Hey, can you meet me over here, private man? Yeah, Jane. And just pull each one aside and go, listen,

can you keep a secret? Nah. I came here to fuck. None of those dudes are keeping that secret. They're like, yo, I fucked a chick out here. No, none of those dudes None of those dudes Are keeping that secret They're like I fucked a chick out here Yeah

No none of them would But the thing is like Stars and bars It would 100% be effective For the girl Oh she's here I'm here to fuck all of you Oh yeah

She would get it though 100% For a guy It's a tough sell They had They had ladies following You know that's how Hooker came out

Huh Was General Hooker Always had Is that right Sluts following his troops. What? Groupies? You got to keep the boys going. That's where the term Hooker came from?

I believe. Yeah. They were whistling dicks. That's crazy. You know, Lululemon is from- I hope I'm not wrong on- It's one of those- Etymology gets a little-

I love etymology. It gets a little shaky. Lululemon, the owner. Sorry. No, no. He started that just to get Asian people to say Lululemon. Did you know that? I swear to God, that's true.

No way. Give it a go. He wanted them to have to say Lululemon. Yes. That's the only reason he named it that. No. Why else would you call it Lulu? It's a lot of L's.

So this guy was genuinely that funny? Yes. He started a company as a joke. So this guy was genuinely that funny? Yes. He started a company as a joke? He was like, if this takes off, I'm going to be willing to play a prank on all Asians. I can't be true. I'll take a chance. Let's get to the definition of hooker first. Oh, sorry.

Let's go right to Lululemon first. And then we'll go to Lulu. No, we're going to forget hooker. We really need to answer this. Okay. I love stuff like that. I know. It's great.

Civil War's got a ton of those. All the NCAA teams? They're all actually, that. I know. It's great. Civil War's got a ton of those. All the NCAA teams? They're all actually, yeah. The volunteers. Wolverines, volunteers, Tar Heels. Oh, yeah, volunteers. What's a Wolverine? Wolverines is Michigan.

Tar Heels is North Carolina. That was Civil War. No, that's just for the Rams up there. No. Jamie? What? The etymology of hooker. Sure.

Do we got anything? I'm sorry. We're throwing a lot at you. I know. I'm looking right now. Do we got anything? I'm sorry. We're throwing a lot at you. I know. I'm in the middle of all of them. I was like, you guys continue this whole talk. Jamie, do seven things at once, please. Pick that up.

One said this story can't be true, but I'm looking at why they said it can't be true. Yeah, I think they might have said, oh, you know what? Something that was like docs in Boston. Yeah, it says, however, this tale of origin can't be true. Hooker. Because they've called them hookers before 1860. Yeah, 1845 in North Carolina, as reported. Norman Ellsworth Ellison, Tar Heel Talk.

Why do they call them hookers? What's the term? The hooker is simply one who hooks or snares clients. Hooks. Is there at least anything out there saying it had anything to do with? 100%. The top of this has the whole thing from ULSC's S. Grant personal memoirs described. Hooker, dangerous man.

Dangerous man. Sporting his super described. Hooker, Dangerous Man. Dangerous Man. Sport and its Imperiors. Hooker often used one thing. He did not give his name to prostitutes. A hooker was also like- He did not give his name to prostitutes. Fuck. Damn.

Wow. Did not give his name to prostitutes. It's in there, though. So it's obviously been talked about. Isn't that crazy? Like, what a strange thing. Did not give his name to prostitutes. But then I did find this.

Not his choice. I don't know what website I was on, but you guys told me to stop looking, so I stopped. Name the company because it's funny to watch Japanese people try to say it. Wow. Come on. It seems like a parody site, though, so I was trying to figure it out. But I don't know that it is. These are real stories on the site. Oh, Netshark? Is Netshark a parody site?

I've never heard of it. I hadn't got to it yet. I was trying to see what they were trying to say here. Here's a quote. I don't know if it was accurate. The reason the Japanese liked my former skateboard brand, Homeless, was because it had an I in it, and Japanese marketing firm wouldn't come up with a brand name with an I in it. I-O-L, excuse me, with an L in it.

L is not in their vocabulary. Sorry, it's L, not I. It just looks like a... It's a very tough pronunciation for them, so I thought next time I have a company, I'll make a name with three L's and see if I can get three times the money. It's kind of exotic for them. I was playing with L's and came up with Lululemon. It's funny to watch them try to say it.

That says he denied ever saying those words. He denied ever uttering those words. Everything we know is wrong. Yeah, it could be bullshit. I took an L on that. Who's quoted it? It says Wilson was quoted as saying by who? It was in a book or something.

I don't know. No, the top part. The top part where it says Wilson was quoted. The other stuff is funny. Watch him say it. What was printed in this book? Unselling the new customer experience about how customer service influences individual purchase transactions.

He denied ever uttering the words. He said the quote was also printed. Huh. Yeah, that doesn't sound like someone who was a CEO would say out loud. It does sound like he did it there because it sounded exotic to them. Sure.

Or it's easy to remember. That shit's expensive, too. Japanese. If you're going to try to come up with a new fucking brand name, like, God, there's so many names. I know. Like, how the fuck do you come up with anything that's remotely original? It's a good one, though.

Those Jew candles are... Lululemon's a good one. It really goes strong. Lululemon's great. Yeah, it's a good product. It's helping us all. That Uniqlo, that is cheap. It's a good store. It's helping us all. That Uniqlo, that is cheap. It's a good store.

I like it. Great store. You can get a shirt for like four bucks. Yeah. Chinese labor. Best labor. Great labor. Slave labor is the best labor.

It works. The wildest shit is the phones. iPhone. The wildest shit is like at the base of every phone is the conflict minerals. So you're getting pulled out of the ground literally by slaves. And it goes from that to workers who work in a building that's covered by nets because so many of them are jumping off the roof. And they live there.

And then we jack off on them. And then we jack off on them. And then everyone at the UCB is like, well, I'll fight other injustices. It's amazing. On that device. Yeah, exactly. It's like. On that device. Yeah, exactly. It's like you've been trapped into a device. It's impossible to have an ethically sourced phone.

Yep, it's all comedy. But then they don't just go, well, then I guess I can't have a phone. Well, actually, it's not impossible, but you can't get an iPhone. What is that one? There's one with the Fairphone or something like that. Yeah, but it's still like. But it's whack, right? I think.

It's probably still getting minerals from the ground. Well, it's a testament to a good product. If the product is good enough, you overlook the slavery. It's a crazy thing to overlook. Well, it's the most bizarre things that we can't make one of them over here. It's too expensive. That's going to be one that we look back like, damn, we were using that for, we used slavery just so we could fucking send pictures of us on vacations.

Yeah. Slavery was originally just for fucking sugar and coffee. And cotton. And cotton. Yeah, this is for luxury now. Well, not only that, but it's being used to shape the world. Yeah. Which is really insane.

The highest levels of information exchange. It went so good for like three years. Slavery shapes the world. iPhone. Yeah, not slavery. Hey, we got the pyramids. Where would we have been if we only had text on phones? If they never figured out the technology to have videos and TikTok stuff.

We would have a lot less enemies. Oh, yeah. 100%. We'd be happier. Oh, yeah. 100%. We'd be happier. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the human mind is not designed for that kind of access to each other. It's too crazy. All this is, I like the response to Israel Hamas, where it's just like, I'm just watching everybody scream at each other.

Yeah. And it's like, they're showing you, at a higher rate, shit you'll be angry about than exists in the world. You're not just getting everything evenly. They're like, oh, you're on this side? We'll show you two-thirds the opposite side. You're on the opposite side? We'll show you two-thirds his side. Brilliant. It works like a charm. I think that would be nice if the algorithm switched to your...

Just in line. No, I mean just like here's what the other side is seeing. You know what I mean? For one day a week. You get a Fox News. Here's a little switch now you gotta watch fucking cnn or yeah however they do it yeah my friend was like fox news is all lies like when's the last time you saw it you watched a lot i haven't seen in 10 years i'm like what are you basing that on there yeah right headlines of the daily from yeah of the same paper that said that kid was wearing blackface exactly you know it's like this kind of division is

profitable, and that's why they do it. Yeah, it works. What they're doing to society is crazy. We're sharing it. We're sharing it in our group text. You know, it works. Suicide is up. Depression is up. Anxiety's up. Pills are up. We're all fucked. Everyone's being forced into conflict. Yeah. They've been forced

by these... You can't even be silent. We need your response. They come to me. They're like, we need your answer on Hamas in Israel. Where's your black square? You don't want my fucking response. I'm not on anybody's side. They always do that. You have to vote. You're like, but you don't know who I'm voting for. I could be the other guy that you hate.

I do look like I know quite a lot about it. I look like I know everything about the subject. When Portnoy posted that video on his Instagram, that was one of the most shocking things I think I've ever watched. That video of those ladies. A billion views.

See Portnoy getting something from Bob Craft? Something? It was a pin. I rewatched it. You think Bob Craft didn't just pass off pills? It can't be that, but he's like saying, hey, I really respect your thing. Hey, you want some of this?

And the guy's like, yeah. And then he like put something in his hand and goes, thanks. And I was like, that looks shady. He said, I really like your pin. And he's like, do you want one? And then he grabs one. Like a weed pin? No, a pin.

Like a little pin on your shirt. That makes more sense. I like what he's doing with the Israel and Boston. Well, Portnoy posted that video. And he posted this long description of how fucking insane it is. But I didn't know it was that far gone until I saw that video. That's the most far gone I've ever seen. Because it just didn't even make sense.

There's no way you could say that. There's no way you could be the president of Harvard and say that. Stop breathing into the fucking microphone. It's not me. Use that honker of yours. You got something wrong with your cardio? He's getting old. Nobody hears it.

Darth Gator. Jamie's going to edit it out. Shane is concentrating on it. Shane, run a filter. It's distracting. Is it? I don't even hear it. I never heard it once.

I didn't hear it either. How are you hearing it? Maybe my headphones are up too high. There's a little thing there. You can turn it down if you want hear it either. How are you hearing it? Oh, you got headphones? Maybe my headphones are up too high. There's a little thing there. You can turn it down if you want. You have a breath module on there? Yeah, it's literally- mine's the whole way up. Oh, that's it. That's annoying. Okay, so you're just constantly annoyed. You're like a dog. Yeah, I've been awfully quiet this whole- You hear shit that I was looking at here, it's too loud.

You hear shit that I was looking at here, it's too loud. Once you start drinking- Breathing at me so hard. I think five Bud Lights in, you get loose. Yeah, well, I'll have fun here in the second half. I'm a second half guy. Yeah, second half. I let you guys tackle cultural issues, and then second half, I'll come out here. I don't want to tackle cultural issues.

I'll go, hey, what do you see this fucking video from 9-11 that's hilarious? How about Buck Weisenstein or whatever the guy's name was yesterday? Oh, my God. Oh, that guy ruled. So we watch the football game. The football game's over, and it goes to regular Texas Texas TV and it's this fucking guy. He's got an AR and a hundred magazine Buck McNeely.

Buck McNeely. Outdoors. And he sticks it in his thing. He's just... He's just in his backyard. He's just with a World War II vet. Bro, you could fry an egg on that barrel. That barrel's hot as fuck. That guy is

shooting hundreds of rounds. And he's like, I don't want to know what he was saying. But he was showing the different rounds. He had them all laid out on the table, different magazines, different capacities. I'm like, this is regular Texas TV. He did look like Alex Jones. And then he goes straight to the World War II vet. He's like, tell me how you blew him up with this.

He's like, holding up grenades. Then they show a picture of him as a clearly gay, like, enlister. And we've known he was gay? He looked like it. He's so sweet looking. He looked like a sweet boy. Yeah. Don't you think that's what

just dudes looked like in 1940? Yeah, they were just real thin. Sure. Short hair. Yeah, nobody had any muscles. Yeah, clean cut and very skinny. You just instantly, you're like, gay.

Yeah, you immediately see you guys feel too small and healthy. But what was he even selling? I don't even know what the commercial was for. Was this for America? I went to the website. I don't know. Ari went to the website and signed it up.

Oh, you're following me. But they ask you all these questions. Where'd you hear about it? Fine, whatever. What's your favorite type of hunting? What's your favorite type of fishing? What kind of vehicle do you own? What kind of ATV do you own?

What do you like? It's like a list of questions. They're trying to get you to join the militia. They, yeah, how can we use you? I'm in well, he's probably selling all that shit to marketing people free membership He's loving this. This is a good ad for The fucking the watching on television was so Texas go to the photo gallery Yeah, I mean, the guy's just... This guy's awesome. Lighting off rounds in his backyard. He's got the old camcorder with the VHS. Double battery, though.

He's living his life, bro. Hell yeah. Timberwolf Productions. Yeah. That's just Dick Wolf. Beast. Frank Stallone. Chuckie.

Frank Stallone thing. What the hell did we uncover? Frank Stoller hunts with a beret on. Reggie Theus. Damn, he's friends with a black. That's shocking. Bro, Frank Stoller hunts with a beret on like he's in the fucking French Foreign Legions. Jesse Ventura's hunting?

That's like 1990s Jesse Ventura. Yeah. He's got John Ratzenberger. He's in Toy Story. That's hilarious. But it was just such a Texas show. Yeah, He's in Toy Story. That's hilarious. But it was just such a Texas show. Yeah, he's the potato head. Really?

I think so. Or the dinosaur. He's one of them. He's in Toy Story and Cheers. Didn't they get rid of Tim Allen as Captain Buzz Lightyear? No. I think they did. Because of his political beliefs.

He just votes one way. Yeah, I think they did. I think they replaced him. They took his show off the air. And really nothing more than just like, I vote Republican. Wow, that's sad. He didn't go out of pocket or anything. Yeah, he's not a loon. He's just like,

I vote for that side. Well, how about James Woods? James Woods, who is a fucking amazing actor. Says to Infinity and Toy Story 5, Tim Allen confirms return as Buzz Lightyear. He was off for four. Why is that news?

They didn't have him in the Buzz Lightyear movie, but I don't know. It's LA Times. They made a story that it wasn't the same character, if you will. Oh, I see. So it was a different Buzz Lightyear? Yeah, there were multiple Buzz Lightyears. I didn't watch the movie. Oh, of course, because there's different versions of the toy.

I like that even on the Joe Rogan podcast, they still won't pay for the subscription. I'd be sure to comment. To the failing New York Times? It's LA Times, but yeah. If they were a little bit more honest. I think we have one for the New York Times. To the failing New York Times? New York Times has got to be licking its chops that he's coming back. Who?

Who? You know. Joe. You know who. Oh, sorry. You know who? The dog, dude. Big D?

They say you can run for prison. You should have come to run for prison. You should have come to Madison Square Garden when he showed up. Oh, how was that? Insane. What were people doing? Well, he walked out with Kid Rock. Wow.

Hold on a second. Donald Trump vibing in the golf course with his iPad. Vibing. Vibing. Pretty cool, right? He just changed ground. Pretty cool, right? Is that the Narcan?

He's got a Bluetooth speaker. He's listening to James Brown. This is a man's world. Pretty cool, right? 47, dude. That's some Q, dude. That's Q. You found it.

Yeah. If they don't kill him. Anyway, he walks out with Kid Rock. Kid Rock's American badass. Kid Rock is next to him, and Tucker Carlson is with him. Dude, don't get me going. What a good road rules. And they were the fucking in Massasquare Guardians.

So we're in New York City, and the fucking place goes shithouse. It was nuts. For like over a minute. And Dana. Look at Tucker. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. a minute. And Dana. Look at Tucker. And again, this is a biased audience. You're dealing with cage fighting fans.

But still, you're in literally the liberal hub of the modern world. But they're all coming in from Long Island and Webster, New York. And Jersey. Upstate. Dana looks good. Are they all cheering? They're booing? Dana looks fantastic. No, they're all cheering. It's 99% cheers and Bill Burr's wife.

Hey, who's that guy with the beard? It's 99% cheers. She got a couple Twitter follows from that. That's what's important. Yeah, it's important. Man. How old's your boy? You got the photo with him? Yeah. Oh, you got a bunch with him. Jamie was in there. With a Versace important. Yeah, it's important. Man. How old's your boy? You got the photo with him?

Yeah. Oh, you got a bunch with him. Jamie was in there. With a Versace shirt. Yeah. I sent it to you guys the other day. Yeah. I was on the road with Bert, and he was like, look at this.

Oh, my God. Yeah. I've talked about it before, I think. I was like, obviously, I was a little drunk. Yeah. And then- Story trucks. Story trucks.

I went to post it. I didn't even think about that it would be- What are you kidding? Come on. Why would that be a scratch? No, I know. little drunk. Story trucks. I went to post it. I didn't even think about that it would be. What are you kidding? Come on. Why would that be a scratch? I know. I know. It would be what?

There it is. I agree. He's a tall guy. That was a shirt that he just got. He's a big dude. Yeah, because you're what? Six four? Hold on.

Also, look at the size of his hands. Don't look at my hands. Normal hands. No, the dude has normal hands. That weirded me out the first time I shook his hands. His hands are big. I know, but the dude has normal hands. That weirded me out the first time I shook his hands. His hands are big.

I know, but that was the craziest conspiracy that he has small hands. That's funny, though. You gotta give him that. Whoever came up with that's funny. That's just saying

he has a small dick. But it doesn't even make sense. Yeah, but that's how it works. Big Mike doesn't work. It's politics. It doesn't make sense. Big Mike doesn't make sense.

But, I swear to God, Big Mike doesn't make sense. Big Mike doesn't make sense. But. I swear to God, Big Mike doesn't make sense. Dude, look it up. It doesn't make sense because I've researched it for months. Look it up. I'm deep in the eight coon. I got off of 4chan. They were radical enough for me.

Eight coon? The eight coon is the one that they went to after they left 4chan. Eight coon. The people that ran. Spell it for me. It's not like a pickup game. I think it's 8-K-O 8-kun is the one that they went to after they left Ho-Chan. 8-kun. The people that ran. Spell it for me. It sounds like a pickup game. I think it's 8-K-O-O-N. It's the people.

Or is it K-U-N? Take it out, J-Mo. Strike it. 8-kun. 8-kun. Let's call it that. What is it? Let's call it 8-kun.

Oh, 8-kun. All right. These are the wild people that came. Did you ever see Into the Storm on HBO? These are the wild people that invented the Did you ever see Into the Storm on HBO? These are the wild people that invented the Q's theory. Yeah. Eight cunt is the female Ghostbusters. Four cunts.

All that QAnon shit, it all came from these people. I think they're so funny. It's hilarious. Who? When you watch that documentary. Oh, 4chan. It's just like everyone is mad at them. It's like, they're just fucking When you watch that documentary. 4chan people. Oh, 4chan. It's just like everyone is mad at them. It's like, they're just fucking with you.

Great documentary. Well, how about that kid that went to jail? Jamie, that kid that we posted about the other day? Documentary is fake news. He shit posted. He didn't make those memes. He just posted them. It's not real?

Shane? Which one? Documentary is fake news. Obviously, they're going to pretend. The Hillary ones. The Hillary, the vote. You don't have to go to vote. You can just text in person.

Text, you know, Hillary to 555-1212 or whatever it is. Yeah. And, you know, your vote will count. And that guy went to jail. Wow. Yeah. And there was a girl, somebody in D.C. Like, I think she was a senator. I'm probably not a

senator, but she did the same thing the other way with Trump. Nothing. Really? Swear to God. I never saw that one. Yeah. Yeah, but that's we're trying to stop Hitler. If you could stop Hitler, wouldn't you stop Hitler by any means possible? Nah, he was an artist. This is all you've been hearing, right? Yeah.

It's like the same rhetoric. It's the same rhetoric. That punchline, that premise is done. No, no, I saw a good take on it. Go back in time, I'd kill Hitler. It's been done quite a bit.line, that premise is done. No, no, I saw a good take on it. It was go back in time, I kill Hitler. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been done quite a bit. Yeah. But it's how they justify being fucking insane.

So Giannis has texted, oh, sorry. Giannis has texted you? Yeah, he's pissed about SNL. Yeah, SNL stole his character. What, what? I haven't seen their version of it. Can we show their version and his version? What did they do?

The one character he does? That lady. That lady he does? Marika. Marika. What? Well, they do? The one character he does? That lady. That lady he does? Marika. Marika. What? Well, they just say, that's it. That's it.

Over and over. That's crazy. So it's hard to say if it's stolen, but Giannis is- Does it sound exactly like his character? The that's it does, but he does a woman. They're just doing Hispanic people. Oh. Who's doing it?

Marcelo? Yeah. No. Who is Hispanic? Okay. Yeah. So is- From this sketch? Marcelo? Yeah. No. Who is Hispanic? Okay. So is... From this sketch. Marcelo doesn't really know Giannis.

Yeah. I'm guessing. All right. Look at that beautiful Jew. Who's that? Adam Driver. One of our finest. I like Adam Driver.

He's Jewish? He was a Marine. Does your big bag make you look like you're always coming home from sleepaway camp or serving in the army? He was wearing it. This is huge. Tiny ass bag is perfect for carrying. One air pod and a sir. There it is. One Alto and a sir. Ha! Smoked cigarette and a sir.

Looking for a damn duffel? Go to Walmart, pig. Tiny ass bag. Now available in medium. In this bag, you could fit... One thong and a third. The kids from Honey, I shrunk the kids. And that's it. Oh, so it's the, and that's it?

Is that what he used to say a lot? That was his catchphrase Well, you can pull her up. Yeah, Marika. It's very forward of you mark what color her Let me ask you this is that Italian doing like there's a lot of forget about it There's like a lot of things like if you were gonna do it was Italian doing Like a caricature of it yeah when i was coming up all the latino comics up they were all stealing from each other

because they all did the same stuff that everybody in the audience knew right when we got a cut what's our what's our mama dude they rub butter on it i don't know what should be there you go well that's like chris rock's robitussin bit i don't know that one these Fuck it. These animals in the bleachers. Tom, it's your birthday. This is just an episode. Happy birthday, Tom. Yeah, Tom. Give me a hug. This is some animals over here.

Are you from Queens? Did you bring your passport to get into Connecticut? You're from Westchester. You're from Westchester? Holy shit, I said. What part of Westchester? Holy shit, that's it. What part of Westchester? Hopefully not Yonkers. That's his catchphrase?

Catchphrase. The crowd was yelling. For years. So that's it was just like his catchphrase. So. Okay. And it's a really funny character. There's something to be said there.

Well, Marcel is a funny comic. Marcel wouldn't do that, I don't think. Marcel is the person who played that. Yeah. He's the one on the left. Here's my question, though. Is that a common phrase? In the Latino community?

I assume it is. I have no idea. Right? I mean, is that like a forget about it thing? You know what I mean? Like if a guy tries to say forget about it. Yeah. Forget about it thing? You know what I mean? Like if a guy tries to say forget about it. Yeah. Forget about it.

I don't know. I mean, look, if somebody started saying forget about it, I would probably say Dom Herrera. That's like, if you go to Dom Herrera's. Check it out. No, that's Angel Salazar. Salazar, yeah. Bro, it was always fun running into that dude on the road. Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God. I ran into that guy on the road once like I was coming in and he was coming out No, I can't where we were. We're like fucking Cleveland or somewhere and I shook his hand. I'm like you're a fucking legend, dude Just being wild Decades and I just I shook his hand. I look him in the eye and I go, you're a legend, my friend. To me, it was like meeting an old warrior. Like some dude with a fucking,

this guy's on a fucking highway for 50 years. Oh yeah. With a fucking nicked up sword and a fucked up shield. We used to take a customer counter

and click off every time he said check it out. He was like 45 in a 15 minute set. That dude ran one movie further than anybody has ever done anything.

Scarface. He did Scarface and then fucking sold out clubs for decades. I heard he had a way bigger part in Scarface, but the main character, whatever his name is, kind of was like, hey, I need that accent. Al Pacino? Al Pacino was like, that's the accent I got to do. So we cut a lot of Angel's lines. Where'd you hear this? From Wikipedia?

No, just people talking. From the president of Harvard? Yeah, he told you that. Mike Obama told me. Mike? Mike! Big Mike told you when she was whispering in your ear

and fucking your ass. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking Nazi shit. I'm gonna grab your fucking weird noggin place. Big Mike would be up top. Big Mike would be a good way

to keep your chin from moving. If he can control someone's chin, you basically control their body. Okay, just put it in. Because if you control their chin, they're fucking very limited as to what can move around.

You hear that, Leno? Get a hold of that fucking chin. Where you going, Ari? You're not going fucking anywhere. You can't get to that chin with that muff on top of it.

You have to grab the beard. The beard's a handle. Oh, you know what? I thought he was in the shower today. I was soaping off and I went, ow, my arm hurts. I was like, oh, yeah, already fucking punched me in the arm. I thought that was a holocaust joke.

What did he punch you for? It was a nice smack. Because I think I told him he couldn't hurt me. He showed his muscle, and I'm like, eh. And he goes, do it. Punch me. I was like, nah. And then I stopped, waited for him to unflinch.

He barely did, though. It was not bad for a short punch. It didn't hurt at all. No. Nah. Made a little noise. Well, your funeral's going to be weird, because it's going to be a lot of weird stories that won't make sense, and then the audience will be like, do we hate him?

What audience? Or do we love him? Where's my funeral? Why'd you sell tickets to my funeral? Jesus Christ. We're going to get Ticketmaster involved. Do a shout-out. What do you call the people at a funeral?

The group. Meet and greets. VIP. You know, the audience. The audience isn't... Maybe that's the wrong word. We would sell tickets and we would have t-shirts. And for the first 100 people to get premium, you get the picture of you with X's over your eyes. That's not bad.

That's not bad. Some sort of bobblehead. Birth and death date. Oh, yeah. I'm drawing a swastika on you. Open gasket. Open gasket. Open gasket. Can I get another pinch?

Yeah. Mark, I'd like you to turn on the jets for fucking once, dude. Jesus. What? You're the weak link. The eccentric. You haven't spoken yet. You are the weakest link.

I'm chatting. Remember when that was the most overused, hacky, fucking punchline? You are the weakest link. I'm chatting. Remember when that was the most overused, hacky, puck-and-punch? Oh, yeah. Goodbye. Yeah. That's the tough thing about meeting your family for Thanksgiving. Since you're a comic, they're like, hey, did you see that? The new Ant special?

And you're like, yeah, I guess. We got to find that 9-11 video of those kids. What? Planning it? Which one? It's my favorite video Those kids What? Planning it? Which one? It's my favorite video What are you talking about? It's these kids from NYU Drinking in their rooms

Because obviously classes are canceled Because of 9-11 Yeah And they're like filming on a camcorder And they're like Sorry mom it's just apple juice Ha ha ha They're drinking beer

And then all of a sudden a girl goes Ah! She screams and the camera pulls over and it's 9-11. It's very funny. Pull it up, J-Mo. Is this it? No, no, yes, yes, yes. Damn, J-Mo, that was so quick.

Scooter ever. This is totally apple juice. Wait, wait, sorry. Holy shit. Oh my god. That's incredible. Is that funny? Wait, rewind it so it's funny.

Don't show the actual terrible thing. Give us a little setup. By the way, it's 9.02 p.m. Oh, the towers, both of them have already been hit. That's a good view of that New York apartment. It was already going on. They knew it was already happening. It collapsed.

Two of them are- How insane is watching this again? How insane was 9-11? Wow, I missed this video. They actually have the worst. That's the worst one. They showed jumpers. What?

Yeah, it's pretty bad. Oh, so it was already- I'm sure that's what that first one is. Oh my God, look at these people trying to run out. So they've been watching people jump, and then they're like, all right, let's what that first one is. Oh my God, look at these people trying to run out. They've been watching people jump and then they're like, all right, let's have some brewskis. Oh my God. Oh man.

Which is the college thing to do. So this did happen. I mean, we're doing it right now. Yeah. We're like, hey, bring up 9-11. It's so sad. Let's do a shot. I thought this was a myth.

How crazy is that footage though? The footage of the planes hitting the towers is so insane. No. Again, the angel fell. Fallen tower. Tower seven. Tower pizza. When you watch the towers fall, you're just like, what the fuck, man?

Our records. What an insane way to do it, too. Planes filled with passengers. Yeah. It's like a double attack. Right. It's a full terror attack. It's like a double attack. Right. It's a full terror attack. It's like a double attack.

And they ruined the airport. They really ruined the airport. The airport was great. You could go visit your friend at the gate. Oh, see your girlfriend off. Yeah. So you kind of look at her from the window. Hey, we're both going to cheat on each other.

Your friends came off the plane. You were right there. Hey, what's up? Yeah, you pick people up at the airport right at the plane. You were right there. Ah! What's up? Yeah, you pick people up at the airport right at the gate. Yeah. We took it away from us. We'd do that with my dad. And then that fucking shoe bomber douchebag.

That dumb cunt. Shoes is the worst one. That's the worst. That one's so stupid. One dickhead tries to blow his shoes up. Yep. The underwear guy and the shoe guy. Underwear?

Yeah. What was that? Oh, yeah, there guy and the shoe guy. Underwear? Yeah. What was that? Oh, yeah, there's an underwear bomber guy. For a second, I was like, wait, am I wrong about that? There was one, right? I think there was. I think there was. China needs to hack those.

Bro, if that one doesn't go as planned, you're dickless and sad. You're dickless and sad and everybody beats you up. If it's just like a firecracker. Sounds like my high school. Ow! I didn't carry the one. Dickless and sad, the Mark Norman story. Dickless and sad and everybody

wants to beat you up. Oh my god. Oh my god, it's funny. Oh my god. Yeah, I mean, your dick catching fire and then a bunch of patriots beating the shit out of you. Like if it's an M-80. If it's an M-80 and you're on a flight with Sean Strickland. So your dick blows off and then he beats you into a coma. Oh, is that the guy?

Yeah. Christmas Day plot. Look at that name. It's like an Abdu-Mal-Talalalabab. Oh, that's when they said they knew he was already on the watch list. They still let him get right on without a passport. Strapped to the student's legs. Got next to him laughing.

Your dick's blowing up. Oh, 80 grams. Look at that. 80 grams of explosive powder made from a mixture of PETN or what is that word? Petrol. Oh, he did burn his dick off. Tetranol. Oh, he did?

Yeah, it went off. There was a bang and flames burnt his leg. Whoa, he shot himself with acid. Flames burnt his leg. That's it. That's it. that was a plant. Because they're like, so he got all the way through heavy TSA security and it just happened to not work? Is he wearing a fucking maxi pad?

The underwear looks like an eagle. It looks like America. It looks like big Mike after a Chipotle run. So the hole is right where either his asshole or his dick is. Either way, no bueno. Either way, not a good place to get burned. No. You want to blow a hole in the...

Imagine if they had to make you take your fucking underwear after that one. Like, well, we have a president set with shoes. Yeah. Damn. Time to take your panties off, everybody. I mean, I'd be even hornier in an airport. Remember there was the one that you would go through and it'd show the outline of your dick and people would go, no.

Yeah. Remember that one? What do you mean, no? Yeah, people stopped. You can't do that. You literally see people's naked bodies. They're not misusing it. And then you see videos of them going,

oh, look at this chick. Look at her pussy. Exactly. Look at his giant dick. I think about it every time I go through the fucking thing. I'm like, god damn, nobody better see this. Bro, you ever seen the photos of people that used to work with x-ray machines

back in the early days? They used to x-ray their hand every day to calibrate the machine, and then a lot of these people got horrible cancer. Oh, no. Because they were basically getting x-rayed every day. Wow. And so you could see what,

see if you can find that, like x-ray every day hands calibrating dangers, something. But it was like a black and white photo of this lady's hand. It was horrific looking. Pull it up. You got a weird job, Jamie. Whoa. Shit.

Physician's hand tumor induced by first x-ray procedures. Jamie, you might have the weirdest fucking job on earth. Hey, look at multiple cancers. Yeah. It's like stigmata. Those are good, but there's like some more high resolution photos of Damage that people got to their hands while they were working on x-ray machines whoa But they didn't know anything back then

Remember they would fucking put a big lead shield Your chest you remember the thing where we're Like you and leave a shadow on the wall? No. What? It was like in Disney. It would shoot a fucking x-ray thing at you. Then you'd walk away and you'd see your own shadow on the wall left there in x-rays. That's got to be.

I mean, that happened to Hiroshima. I remember it. For real. For real. For real. Those photos in Hiroshima are nuts. Yeah. When you see where someone's body was where the blast went off and he's got turned to

dust. You only see a shadow of their body. Like a vampire before they disintegrate. Yeah. When you see where someone's body was where the blast went off and he's got turned to dust, you only see a shadow of their body. Like a vampire before they disintegrate. Yeah, that. What? It's like an iPad video or an Apple. You get it. The commercial. What are they doing that with?

They all jumped and did something. Then they shot x-rays at him and it left a shadow behind him. I don't know if that's the same one. Is that the same one? It's not. This is what he's talking about, but it's not x-rays. That's too fun. I did it at Epcot Center.

I remember doing it when I was a kid. You did, right? I don't think that's bad for you. I think that's just bullshit. Right. It's just a picture. It's just like video of your body. It's like glow-in-the-dark.

I think that's like, well, if it's glow-in-the-dark, then that's to be like the iridium or whatever, right? It might be like an iridium screen. Is that what it is? I don't, I'm just saying right here it says How do they use it? A new secret. You can use your flashlight

or cell phone to draw pictures on the walls like glow-in-the-dark ink before the strobes go off. Oh, so it's just the shadow blocks the light.

Ari, your memories suck. Your happy memories suck. Yeah, happy memories of getting blown up and hearing shit. Damn. Wait, how old were you?

I was like four. Oh, so you guys were all fully like. I bet you do it. I bet you do it. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not making fun of you. I'm just making fun of your heritage. So you guys were all Jewed out?

Were you guys in like full Jewish uniform doing that? Just the yarmulke. It must have been so funny to see. I went to Hershey Park and a bunch of Jewish people were there. They were full clothed. Like, you know what I mean? They were wearing like their. Outfit. Outfit bunch of Jewish people were there. They were full clothed. You know what I mean? They were wearing their outfit. And they went down the, it was called title force.

It would drop you down. But I remember all the Jews were in one car. There's sideburns going up behind them. And they were going, when they came by, they were all chanting. They were going, water is wet. Water is wet. Me and my friends thought it was the funniest thing in the world. It is funny.

Even the Hasidic ones are funny. Yeah, that was funny. They knew it was funny. I got a question for you. Yeah? If you're fully bald, how do you keep the yam? Like, if I joined the tribe, would I have to glue one on? That's a good question, Joe.

It's a legit question. Yeah, or you get a big enough one to, like, hold on with gravity. How would it hold on? Just get a baseball hat. You can get a really big one? Can I get a tight one, like a fucking, like a nice beanie? Yeah, a Mizrahi one. Oh, you do that?

You don't have to have a little baby one on the top? No, no, no. That's the punkers. Punkers do the baby one. Ben Shapiro. He's a punk? He's a punker. Whoa.

Hey, you heard it here first. Ben Shapiro has no respect for the Jewish world. So, there you go. That guy has a Trump yarmulke? Story tracks. That's hilarious. Yeah, that big one over there. What's the big one?

How does a bald man wear a down right red one? That's a Krav Maga. That's a Krav Maga. How does a bald one? Yeah, there you go. Click on that. Yeah, that big one over there. What's the big one? How does a bald man wear a down right? The red one. That's a Krav. The red one. How does a bald one? There you go. Click on that. Yeah, you can do one of those. Yeah, that's it.

The big colorful keep up. I mean, that's just a beanie. Ooh, I like that. Yeah, that's all. That's what they have at Instagram. I would love to join if I could wear some shit like that. Tell me about the benefits. I'll talk to people.

Tell me about the benefits of your organization. Well, I'm going to lose you a circumcision because you've got to redo it. What? Redo it? Yeah, you've got to do a ceremonial new one. Yeah You got to read the old new one if the new week what yeah, but I already lost all that skin What are you gonna do? You just gotta make a little snip? No, that's not true. That is true How much of a snip not much rabbi your locket? What does a rabbi have to suck it? It's up to you But it's not necessary take it, but if you want to do right it's a free

Isn't that what there's like a term for it, like tzitzit. Tzitzit. You can go like that if you want. Yeah. Oh. So that's what he'd have to do? He'd have to touch my dick with a little spit? Yeah.

Okay. All right, I can get over that. I'm strong-willed. Yeah. That won't haunt me. He just little snips it. So what else? Snips it, says a prayer.

Now, what's the benefits of your organization? Locks. Nobody looks at you twice. Really? Yep. What do you mean, locks? Go get bagels and locks. Nobody says cultural appropriation. Oh, okay, that looks at you twice. Really? Yep. What do you mean, locks? Go get bagels and locks. Nobody says cultural appropriation.

Oh, okay, that's it? Yeah. Once the foreskin has been removed, it cannot be removed again. Yeah. That's the good news. If you're a man converting to Judaism, Rabbi Stark continues, and you've already circumcised. Oh, wow. There's the ritual of hadaphat, dambrit, a ritual drawing of blood.

Dambrit. Dambrit. Good to know. It generally is what can be best described as a pinprick. So they have to prick your dick. Why? Let's talk about what part of my dick. Guys, I say don't do it.

Better not be the tip, dude. Yeah, the tip is very sensitive. I think it's, you know, the little line that goes from the head to the... Oh, I love that line. Fuck that line. Fuck that line if I get to join the tribe. Tell me about the benefits it's gonna be a tough time getting to class yeah

you're harassing your way to school other than that you get some legacy appointments but you get to control everything

you're gonna be late to class you can wreck Kanye a hard say on the weather there you go what do you mean you can decide if it's really important.

You get Saturdays off. It's like a timeshare. Like, I need it to be nice this week. I'm going hunting. None of you are going hunting. You control the weather? You guys control the weather? That was very good.

Can we cut this out? That was very good. No one's supposed to know about this. No one's supposed to know about this. This is all private information. When you say control the weather, is it like prayer? Or are you actually, are you like?

Joe, there's machines that are on a level that none of you could really understand, like what they say UFOs are. That's what I'm talking about. That's just Jewish guys flying around? That's just Jewish guys

flying around? Those are just big yarmulkes on the air. I've got to get to the Suns game tonight. I love the NBA. Basketball. I got your fucking dreidel.

And we got one on the top of the tree there Which is sacrilegious Yeah get the dreidel off there Let's put it in the funniest things Dreidels No one has a problem with that What? It's a gambling game How do you play it?

You spin it There's four things There's nothing. Give in. Get half the pot. Get all the pot. And then you steal the money and run. And you don't pay taxes on any of it. Whoa. Someone sent me something about how much money you spend

in taxes in California if you make $1.5 million a year. It's wild. On other tales of not relating to most people. Yeah. But if it's $1.5 million, you think you're balling out of not relating to most people. Yeah. But if it's $1.5 million, you think you're balling out of control, right? Yeah. What do you make?

Like $600,000? This is a hate crime. Ah! It hit my dick. My friend got circumcised at 33. Why? He kept getting infections. Oh, well, that's a legit reason.

You get the shmegma in there. How about wash your dick, you dirty bitch? Damn. For taxes. Okay. What's that guy's name? Showy Otoni. Wow, he makes less than half.

Yeah. What? $70 million a year salary, 25.9 federal tax, 4.65 California. California takes 4.6 million. Dang. 2.1 million agent fee, 2 million jocks tax. Why not 7 million agent fee? 1.64 FICA, Medicare.

Who fucks a jock tax? 33.6 million net income. 33 million? I don't make that in a year. The taxes he plays in the places that do have state taxes for other states. Yeah, there's like gigs in certain states. That shit happens. Oh, when he makes money in other places.

Right. Yeah, Canada England has that you know you had to pay taxes in every state you perform in every country to do a gig in England You gotta pay England taxes right? He makes less than Wow One five at least it's all going to good Yeah, at least they're not using it to fucking do whatever the fuck they want with it.

At least it's all super well managed. Yeah. And they're doing a good job of keeping us together as a society. Yeah, they're battling the homeless the way we'd want them to. Yeah. Really tackling major issues that's happening in every city in America. And encourage people to come together. Yeah.

They're encouraging that. No, we got to fund Ukraine. We need Shohei Ohtani to sign with the Dodgers to come together. Yeah. They're encouraging that. No, we got to fund Ukraine. We need Shohei Ohtani to sign with the Dodgers to fund Ukraine. I think we're getting out of that, by the way. You think so? Yeah. I can feel it. We're out of money.

Yeah, it's like the story came and went. Yeah, well, you can only print so much money before you fuck the country forever. Exactly. They keep printing it. Gas is $7. How much more can they print before they fuck us, like into the gutter none of these students are really protesting against Russia Huh just about Israel or the leaders. That's pretty weird. Yeah, same shit Was there any protests against Russia a little they beat up some fucking

Children or Russian descent and like seventh grade in Switzerland shit like that in Switzerland but nothing like in Harvard what nothing in America get pushed around like you're fucking Russian and it's like yeah my mom and dad are dissidents don't fucking push a Russian yeah there's no death to Russians yeah on campuses which is wild same shit it's been going on for two years too how long has it been going on now yeah last almost two years it It was like February. Do you remember how quick that, like, all of a sudden we were in Iraq for like years. Yeah. It happened so quick. It happened so quick. Yeah.

It starts out like they're invading, and then next thing you know, three, four, five, six. It's all these years of occupation. And all those years of just racking up. Dead people. Racking up dead people and money. Yeah. Good times. So many dead people. It was Racking up dead people and money. Yeah. Good times. So many dead people.

It was better when we didn't know anything. Yeah. But as long as it's not happening to you in front of your face, it's abstract. Well. And that's what allows people to call for genocide and all this nutty shit that you're saying. It's just an idea. They're not really understanding what they mean. I'm like, that's your buddy.

Yeah. David. He's going to get killed. And there's also this pressure to be the most radical amongst your radical intellectual peers. Yeah. And they're all rebelling hard against their stockbroker dad who's paying for them to be in that school.

Yeah. All of it. Who's paying Israel. Fucking bananas. All of their dads are paying Israel. It's all bananas. They're also all living in the shadow of black people. When Black Lives Matter came, it was like a real thing.

And then Indians wanted it. Fucking Arabs wanted it. Go off. Asians wanted it. Go off, Jewish kids. They're like, we're also Asian hate. Stop Asian hate. And it's like, guys, shut the, you're not black.

Shut the fuck up. Nobody hates you. Indians, nobody fucking hates you. Jews, do Jews. Muslims, nobody fucking cares about you. Now do Jews, too. Jews, stop controlling everything and then I'm Making money educating your children stop it already stop taking care of each other do the Asians

Like my shoes All right, could you hand me a Bud Light please I? I sure will, buddy. There you go. Someday you'll find the error of your ways. Yes. Now we're talking. Joe's dick got smaller. One day you will come to learn the folly of your actions. How about the Asian porn is still blurred? Still blurred.

After all these years? Are they still blurring? Still blurring, baby. Just the pussy. I can't identify you by your pussy. I can't identify you by your face. That might be the gayest thing about me I don't like those not the blurred part. I don't like the spindly Asian man

Because you can't relate yeah, well I just look at a fat version of a hair this tiny dick guy Yeah, it has nothing to do with relating it's just the Yeah, I'm a woman is the best joke about it. What's that when I watch porn? I watch heterosexual porn I like to imagine I'm the man and I was only blowjob porn so I can stick my cock in a girl's mouth and tell her to shut the fuck up That was Christopher Hitchens argument about women not being funny that they are funny they have to be kind of dykey I Mean what Christopher Hitchens was an amazing troll original great trolls. He was like this is actually I believe I know it's making you angry

That's why I'll say it is true amazing troll Amazing troll because he was smarter than everybody and a troll and a drunk. Oh, yeah, and always lit Yeah, good old style, and that's what took him out Unfortunately, it's views around today. Yeah boo good old style. And that's what took him out, unfortunately. Because if he was around today. Yeah, booze and cigarettes. That's bad for you. Shit, what?

He was too fucking smart. Too fucking smart. Didn't take care of his health. Yeah, he looked rough those last couple years. But goddamn, he was fun. That guy was fun. And he was on Bill Maher once, and there was this famous clip of him talking about the Ottoman Turks, about how Jefferson sent the Navy to fight off the Ottoman Turks, and that they were kidnapping Americans just because they're infidels.

And he's like, why are you doing this to us? We didn't do anything to you. And he said, well, you're infidels. And it says in the Quran, I can do whatever I want. Have you ever seen that clip? No. It's the same thing you find Christopher Hitchens on Bill Maher Talking about the Ottoman Turks The Barbary pirates

Seems like they're just kind of violent That was our first That was our first war Our first foreign war From day one we were going after the Muslims Really? What year was that? That would have been like

Early 1800s Early 1800s? The a aughts we thought we could take them there I have a fun. I would have been during the Napoleon so it would have been Why are so many people complaining about this Napoleon movie? I have not seen it yet. I love being babies I love that was complaining they didn't like her or they did like it any other complaints Well, is that just like what always happens with every big movie? You're always going to see some hatred. And then you're going to see like the fucking. So if we're complaining about inaccuracies in a historical movie, they're literally making

Cleopatra movies where she's a black. They're literally every single one of these. Good point. Every historical movie is fake. We're not making a documentary. This one at least stuck to like what I slightly knew about it. Right. Same as Tarantino with like you beat up Bruce Lee. But that's a blatant. Guys, I'm a documentary. This one at least stuck to what I slightly knew about it. It's the same as Tarantino with

you beat up Bruce Lee. It's like, guys, I'm having fun. Or we killed Hitler. And burned him alive. We're having fun. It's also with Tarantino, he beats the Manson family. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's great. But that's what Tarantino does with Hitler, too. But this one's like,

he shot the pyramids. That didn't happen. But that's stuff like that. That was always a myth that he shot the pyramids. That didn't happen. Right. Well, no. But that's like stuff like that. That was always a myth that he shot the nose off the Great Sphinx. Yeah, yeah. But in the movie, he shoots a cannon at the pyramids. Oh, at the pyramids.

Yeah. Which he could have done. Who knows? When I was in Paris, they showed us this thing that when somebody in Paris was buried in one of the tombs there, and they make the entrance low, so everyone had to- That's Napoleon. Yeah. So everyone had to bow their head to get in and see this. And Ad entrance low, so everyone had to... That's Napoleon. Yeah, so everyone had to, like,

bow their head to get in and see this. And Adolf came in and said, no. That's it. Napoleon was buried there. And so everyone had to... And Hitler was like, I'm not bowing to him. I respect him, though.

Build a set of mirrors so I can see him without bowing down. Did we get that right? Was that Hitler and Napoleon? It was. That's what it was. I think so. Yeah.

How weird is bending your knees is disrespectful in some ways. Respect was. That's what it was. I think so. How weird is bending your knees is disrespectful in some ways. Respectful. Or, yeah, or somehow or another compromises you. Oh, right. You're disrespected.

Yeah, I get it, though. Even when you're dead, you're still making somebody in the future have to adjust for you. Yeah. Boy, that's pretty sick. That's weird.

It doesn't bother me at all. No, of course you wouldn't. Well, you're four foot eight. Yeah, but even if I was ten feet tall, I wouldn't mind bending over. Why would you bend over? That is true. I doesn't bother me at all. No, of course you wouldn't. You're 4'8". He never bends over. I rarely have to duck. Just suck it up, guys. I just wouldn't understand why anyone would give a shit.

Don't you want to see the dead guy? You're not Adolf Hitler. They're already there. You're not fucking bending down for anybody. I'm about meth and testosterone. This podcast always goes to Hitler. Well, he's a fascinating individual. Also, there's a real possibility

of a rise of a Hitler today. The way shit is going down today, I would have never imagined we'd be this far gone 10 years ago. If you came to me in 2013 and said in 10 years there's going to be people justifying saying death to the Jews

or somehow or another. death to the Jews. Death to the Jews? It's so fucking crazy. Calling for the genocide of Jews. Dr. Gadoff. Dr. Gadoff Hitler. I call my buddy Chris O'Connor Dr. Adolph Sponge. Why? Just because it's the funniest name possible

and now everybody calls him Dr. Adolph Sponge. It's so fucking ridiculous. It's so funny. His nickname was Turd. Everybody calls him Dr. Adolph Sponge. It's so fucking ridiculous. It's so funny. Well, Adolph is out. You don't hear that name. His nickname was Turd. Oh, that's worse. That hurt.

I'll take Adolph Sponge all day. He would get on stage and people would go, Turd. I'd be out. Now it's Dr. Adolph Sponge. People would go, Dr. Adolph Sponge. You could bring back Genghis, but you can't bring back Adolph. That's true. If you can name your kid Genghis like wow what a badass name for a kid

you can bring back Lennon that is a cool name the setup would have worked if not for the moment Adolf looked into the mirror his hat began to tip forward in an effort to save his hat from falling to the ground

he leaned forward to catch it even in death Napoleon remains a man others pay their respects to but is that a pay? you caught your hat? what? so he said he caught your hat? What? So he said he caught his hat.

Got your ass. Petty stupid shit. That's just the way it's like Napoleon still rules. That's pretty dope too, though. Look where they buried him, man. That's pretty sweet. Yeah, look at that. That's pretty fucking amazing.

It's pretty cool. But dude, when you go to fucking that part of the world, like if you go to like, especially Rome, and you see their ancient shit, you ancient shit like what was life back then when they were building like like st. Peter's Basilica like they did why yeah shit back then see like no cranes how do they even do this he's not wearing a hat I took his hat off to pay respect this is all these stories stories are such reading into it story yeah all these legends are yeah like he took his hat off. He was hot.

It also says he moved Napoleon's tomb back to Vienna. Oh, that's a baller move. Disrespectful. Cut it up and ship it. Yeah. Put it back together. Make sure you guys take pictures. Yeah, wow.

Would you ever see the video where they, there's a video where they move this immense temple in Egypt? Oh, yeah. For a period of several years. Napoleon's son moved to Vienna. Oh. Jimmy Napoleon? From Vienna. His son moved from Vienna to lie beside his father.

That's what it was. Oh, well that's kind of nice. It's funny, Hitler was very obsessed with Napoleon not doing exactly what he did, which is blow everything by trying to invade Russia. And then he just did it. And then he did it. I'll get it right. I know I'll get it right.

It's like tin cup. You can't talk about Hitler without talking about methamphetamines. You can't talk about Hitler without... That guy was literally shooting cocaine. They were shooting him up with testosterone and cocaine. Get Joe a drink there, Fatty.

He was fired up. Mark's chewing on the whiskey. That's where there should be protests. The cool thing about Napoleon was literally kicked him off the country, put him on an island alone and he came back and was like, you guys need me. And they were like, alright.

And they let him back in. Let's do it one more time. The band's getting back together. Yeah, and it worked. He's the Mary and Barry of Paris. He's the Trump of Paris. He is. Oh God, I hope not. Because it didn't end well. Well, you think it's going to end well for Trump? He's 78. They're already trying to put him in jail every

10 minutes. Yeah, how's this ended well if they keep coming for him? It's amazing how, you know when they add a little bit of exaggeration. It's like they went after such small things so many times that when they go after for a big thing, people are going to be like, we're tired of this. Yeah. Well, it's just

the big thing is weird. The whole thing is weird. As soon as you find out that they valued Mar-a-Lago at $18 million, you're like, oh, this is a scam. This whole thing is you're railroading him. What do you mean? They were saying that he overvalued Mar-a-Lago because Mar-a-Lago he valued at like a billion

dollars and the judge said it was worth 18 million, which is insane. It was a tax thing for purposes when he bought it in the 90s. Yeah, but it still doesn't make sense. Even if you say it's a historical landmark and you can't ever turn into anything else, it's insanely valuable.

It's an immense property on one of the most expensive pieces of real estate in the world. Just the land alone is probably worth $50 million, if not more. $18 million is like Mark's apartment. It's 26 acres, and the place is a castle. Have you ever seen a video when they go into it and explain? It's the most opulent place. I've been in there. Pull it up.

Oh, that's right, yeah. How crazy is it? It was awesome. Did you fuck Melania? Hey. Did you fuck Melania? No. Yeah, I sucked Melania's dick.

Nice, bro. That's the dream. Big Mel. Big Mel. Imagine if that's the real truth. It's like Scooby-Doo with a mask. I think it's been proven wrong. Imagine you're married to a proven wrong. I think Big Mel

proved it. And then you're like, hey, we're going to run for president, but I'm going to look hard into you and not to go, oh, I'm out then.

Those nudes are hot. Those are great nudes. Somebody tell that to Norton. Ah! He was on in on trans before anyone. He was. He was.

Trans continental. He's also the most honest about everything. You never get mad at him for anything. Everybody loves him no matter what, which is a good example of what people really care Transcontinental He's also the most honest About everything You never get mad at him For anything Everybody loves him No matter what Which is a good example

Of like what people Really care about He was on Burt's Cruise In black jeans And a black t-shirt Every night On the top deck In the sun

You can't not be Northern He's a ratty little man That's always weird It really is Well he's New York City To the day he dies Oh yeah

He's a fat little weasel. Cowboys, man. He belongs in Manhattan. He's a creature of that island. Yeah. He's a creature of that island. He's a creature. He's a New York creature.

He's a sloth. If he wasn't well-known, you'd be like, ugh. Oh, he's so funny, though. He's so funny. He was so good on Kill Tony, too. He said Norton looks like if you poured him in any receptacle, he would just fit into it. That Norton looks like if you poured him in any receptacle, he would just fit into it. He was fun.

Oh, my God. Damn, I had something. I lost it. What were we talking about? It was a pun. Before Norton. Southern Transit. Melania.

That's your Jack. Mar-a-Lago being worth a lot of money. Them putting Donald Trump in jail for no reason. Melania's nudes. Come on money then putting Donald Trump in jail Melania's nudes come on yeah those were hot Melania's nudes are pretty great they're great I didn't know she was

Duncan sent me a picture of her I'm like who's this he's like it's your first lady I'm like oh my god yeah jackpot bing bing bing bing bing we have a winner

other countries do respond to this hot as first lady thirst lady of all time thirst lady who's number two who's number two Jackie Who's number two? Jackie O

Jackie Kennedy Yeah I like that Although that tipper gore Oh damn Oh dude Whoa I mean bro Nelly

The conversation's over It's like Carmen Electra Yeah the conversation She's on a plane What is this? She's on a private jet She's got her shoes on the pillow She's on a private jet

Yeah you can take her shoes off You're right She can do whatever she wants With her shoes dude Yeah keep the shoes on Who cares Now is Kent. She's got a private jet lying on. Yeah, you can take her shoes off. You're right. She can do whatever she wants with her shoes, dude. Yeah, keep the shoes on. Who cares? Now, is that an expensive hooker or what? Yeah.

I mean, a billion dollars probably. Probably. Probably cost. Hi-ya! Sometimes I think about it. I just married a businessman. Come on. For his money.

And then he got super into the public eye. How amazing is that? It looks like you just farted in the aisle at Target and she turned around. Look at that. Oh, my Lord, she's a Bond villain. I mean, as much as people hate Trump now, when you go back and look at him later on, when history looks at him, when guys are on a podcast 100 years from now talking about what a fucking psycho he was.

Oh, man. It's a better bit of autopilot. GQ. I don't think she's really flying. When guys are on a podcast a hundred years from now and they're talking about Trump, he's going to sound like a fake guy. He is going to sound like a fake guy.

If we had an old president who was like this like a hundred years ago, bro, listen to how crazy this motherfucker was. That's true. There's a couple. All of it. There's some wild ones, but not documented like this with photographs and video. Photos and video, yeah.

Andrew Jackson. His timing. It's one of the first ones we can go back and check the exact thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can see pictures of his wife on a plane. With video, it's different. The guy talks like a comic. I heard Andrew Jackson's wife was hot.

I don't know what that means. And there's video of him talking like a comic. Yes. Like the shit that he said about electric tanks. They're going to make tanks. They're going to be electric. They're going to be electric. They're going to be good for the environment. And they're going to blow the fucking shit out of everything.

He said UFC fights. I mean, how many presidents are at, like, boxing? Wait a minute. What's this? Googly boogly. Is that Katy Perry? That's her on the right. Don't worry about her stomach.

It looks nice. Melania Trump's girl on a racy photo shoot. I love that word, racy. Racy's hilarious. Racy. Whoa, Nelly. It looks nice. Melania Chubb's girl, I'm going for a racy photo shoot. I love that word, racy. Racy's hilarious. Racy. Whoa, Nelly. So he wins. He wins.

And in history, when you go back in history. He's a freak vampire. What the fuck is that? Go back up. Oh, maybe we got a mic situation. No, I'm not. That's a small mic. That's a tiny mic.

It's a tapeworm. Who the fuck is that? It's probably the artist, I bet. Oh, the photographer. That's the vampire. He's got to be. He's a vampire. He has to be.

Wow, that guy's high up. He's got to be. He's a vampire. He has to be. Wow, that guy's high up. He's like, yeah. He took the photos? Yeah. Whoa. These are the nude ones. Oh, you got to follow. Join.

Join. Join. Join. Join forever. Jesus. He's got my vote. Why is she so angry? She wins.

Because she has to be. And Baron Vaughn's in these? That's not hot. The angry, like, Baron Vaughn. Yes. Baron Trump If you can conquer The angry hot one

Yeah The angry hot one Is the one you want Yeah You don't want the one That likes everybody You don't want her smiling Yeah you want the mean one

The one that's so hot The one that's hard to win Yeah Yeah the final boss In the fucking Mike Tyson punch out game Hey Stormy Daniels Was no

No uh Slough Stormy Daniels Was pretty good I like where Chuck goes How hilarious was it He called her horse face on Twitter. As president?

As president. How petty? That's like 50 cent levels of petty. I love when he goes, I wouldn't have sex with her. She's not my type. You're not my type. Oh, that was so good. And to be quite honest, you're not my type either.

She's like, I'm not asking. He was like, I would never be with you. He's just throwing her off. Well, she's trying to throw him off. I mean, he's just getting at her like streetwise. He's like, you know, I do negotiations. Yeah. He's talking to you like he would talk to you on The Apprentice. He sold steaks. Did he really?

Oh yeah, he had his own steak company. Trump the board game was a good game. It was a Trump board game? I remember when I was a kid. It was good. Of course you guys got it. The goal is to get all the money. Monopoly's good. Trump the game.

We'll teach you more. At the end, the winner has all the money, and I take from you. Hey, what was the Trump University deal? What was that all about? I think it was just a scam. It's like any fucking online bullshit. What was it? What were they trying to do?

Probably, if you follow this online course, you'll be a genius. Trump the game. It was a good game. That's the one. Trump Monopoly. It was way before Apprentice. Yeah, it was before Apprentice and your friends. It was like early 80s. Look at the money. Trump bucks. It was always your fire. Isn't that wild? Yeah, he got it coined

or whatever. Copyrighted. Did he really? You're fired? Yeah. That's an amazing thing. I'm back and you're fired. Bruce Buffer. Bruce Buffer copyrighted his time. Really? That's fucking Kenny Powers. I'm in and you're out.

Fuck you. There was a Trump pop-up store in Manhattan. Really? Complete everything Trump, head to toe, the whole store. People used to love him. I mean, this was like three years ago. Home Alone 2. It was great. But it was all this memorabilia, him with Michael Jackson, him with all these covers

of everything. Three years ago. Three years ago. Bro, he's been so many rap songs. He did it. It was pretty awesome. He had so many rap songs. He had Trump in them.

He was the man. He was the man. Is it flattering that he wanted you to do the RNC? What did he want? The debates? He wanted me to have a debate with Biden. Me and him and Biden. That's fun. I would love to see you. Me and him and Biden. That's fun.

I would love to see you do it and still fuck around. Hilarious. Well, here's the thing. Next question. What's your favorite color? Here's the thing. We were just talking about this

because Stavros was on my podcast. Stavros. Stavros. Stavros. Stavros. Stavros. Stavros. Stavros.

Stavros. There you go. Yeah. How do you say it right? Stavros. Right, but do you say Ros or do you say Stavros? Stavros. Oh, maybe if you're, or do you say Stavros? Stavros.

Oh, maybe if you're, yeah. Don't they say it like- Stavros? They don't say Stavros. You're the guy that's Stamos. Stavros. That's better. Right?

Am I saying it right? Yeah. Just say Stavros. Stavi, baby. Anyway, he's on the podcast. He's special on Netflix. Bro, he was- Check out Fabrasco.

He's so fucking funny, man. Yeah, he's great. That dude's so fucking funny, but we were talking about squirters. And so we spent 20 minutes talking about squirters. And the very next day, people were calling for me to host the Republican debates. Unrelated. We talked about squirters. We literally showed the studies from the Japan Center for Urology where they filled a woman's bladder.

Japan's studying it. That makes sense. That makes sense. Japan needs to get to the bottom of this. Japan needs to figure it out. Fuck the environment. We're going to kill all the woman's bladder. That makes sense. Japan needs to figure it out. Fuck the environment. We're going to kill all the whales we want. Let me see squirting. They hired a guy to fuck five ladies,

and they filled her bladder up with blue dye. What the fuck is that? He's fingering her, and she's squirting. Oh, that's a hand. And the blue dye is indicative that it's coming out of the bladder. Oh, God. It's incontinence. That's what squirting is. Oh, no. What's incontinence? It's just piss. I thought it was lady juice. No, it's coming out of the bladder. Oh, God. It's incontinence. That's what squirting is.

Oh, no. What's incontinence? It's just piss. I thought it was lady juice. No, it's piss. Whose job is it to hold a can? Just fucking get it to her. I would take that.

Bro, this is a great orgy. This is a wild orgy. I mean, they got cameras. They got scientists. They got a dude. Ooh. It's a guy podcast. It's like Avatar podcast.

Ew. They paid him to actually have sex with them. Is that how girls piss, though? No, remember we figured that out. Wait, he had sex with them. Trump did this? What do you mean no, Jamie? He used his penis.

No, no. They each, the two of the women that are doing it to themselves, and then they each had their own man do it. The first explanation we read did say that, but then we looked further into it, and it said they all found their own. He's the worst guy. It's like, where are they? He's the worst guy. You should get bonus pay for this.

Hold on, guys. They had the guy finger him, finger the ladies. It wasn't a guy. Hold on, this is important. It's not important. It is. This guy, he got paid to finger them and the husbands were like, that's cool, but don't use your dick.

No, there was never a guy. Blue band group. So the guy that had sex with five of them. There was never that person. That's a, but don't use your dick. No, there was never a guy. Blue band group. So the guy that had sex with five of them. There was never that person. That's a fake person? It was miswritten, and we read it wrong, and we're now in the hole of that never happened. You really blew it out. So was that like a translation from Chinese to English problem?

Maybe, yeah. Or Japanese rather to English. Two of them fingered themselves. I'll see you next week. And the other ones had their own spouse or whatever. Oh, so two of them were single and he fucked them. Yep. Okay.

So one guy fucked two ladies in this study. There you go. There you go. Who's the guy? Stud. Stud. Stud Nakamura. Stud Nakamura.

Just make it be a squirt. Squirt of glue. There's a Japanese guy with a five-inch dick. And he's like, we got to have you. Yeah, they're like, you're the biggest dick on the island, brother. Shows up in a briefcase with his suit on. Nagakaki. You got it.

You got it. Yeah, I can do it. I can do it. Good to have you back. Let me get a beer. Yeah. Let's go. Give me one of these fucking blue Bud Lights.

These are the new fucking things. Bud Light's back, baby. We're back, dog. They got UFC now. Yeah. Shane brought it back. I give full credit to Shane Gillis. I give full credit.

He was like, I'm not joining this boycott. I couldn't have done it without you, Joe. Yeah, but we need to have a video where Kid Rock shoots the bullets back into his gun. Ooh. A little reverse. Something has to happen. It's an easy effect to put on there. Something has to happen. Yeah, reverse it and then me and Kid Rock shotgun a beer back into his gun. Ooh. A little reverse. Something has to happen. It's an easy effect to put on there. Something has to happen.

Yeah, reverse it, and then me and Kid Rock shotgun a beer and make a Japanese lady squirt blue. That's what I'm talking about. Let's go. Now it's making money. Labette blue. Hey. Blue night.

Give me one of them Bud Lights, young Shafir. Shafir, why have you only had one? I've had three already. Oh, Jesus. Oh, my God. This is not Gaza. That was an old Jew joke. This is not Gaza.

That is not a hospital. You've got to be accurate. There's one of them in there. Get him off. You've got to be accurate. Is he Jewish? Throw him a ball. There you go.

What the fuck is this? This should be... This is how you get the mothership. What the fuck is this? Is that be... This is how you get the mothership. What the fuck is this? Is that actually Twister? Yeah. Nice. Who's the guy?

Some guy with guns. Oh, he raps with the beat. Yeah, I've seen these. What? Or he shoots with the beat. That is so insane. It's pretty cool. The sword's pretty cool.

The most American thing I've ever seen. Honestly, let's... Enough of all this downer shit about the culture wars and all shit dude Let's talk about how great America is dude that was celebrate the good that was just Twista and a white dude shooting machine gun Yeah, like he's over nice. I'm gonna be candid. That'd be illegal to put you in a cage for that to talk to a black Without giving him one of those guns That was That did rule. It does rule.

Good for them. That's not gun safety. That's not how you're supposed to shoot. No, it's not gun safety, but it's fun. It is fun. Yeah, but if you're in a place with a good backstop. Do they have a grenade range? Tech 9.

I don't know what he's aiming at. He's aiming at the backstop. He's aiming at fun. He's vibing, dude. And he ran out of bullets? The gun got too hot and had to pick up another round? I'd love to see the accuracy on this. He's got a the backstop. He's aiming at Fudd. He's vibing, dude. And he ran out of bullets. The gun got too hot. He had to pick up another round. I'd love to see the accuracy on this.

He's got a bunch of them. Hamas is taking notes. Now he's getting serious. Oh, he's got the open carry on the hip. Do you know how many guys are like that within a five-mile radius of this place? Look at the sword. What a great silent disco. Look at the sword.

For no reason. There's a giant sword. What do you mean for no reason? It's awesome. That's a perfect reason. The fuck is wrong with you? Can you do all I want for Christmas? You do all I want for Christmas.

We gotta holiday this thing up, Cash. Oriental sword. Which one? With guns? Is that the same guy? Oh, there you go. He's the gun drummer. He's the gun drummer. This guy is so fun.

What's he shooting at? You don't want to know. It should be a Jew. It should be. Yeah, it'll make it horrible. Well, if we're doing Christmas, you're going to be able to stay at Harvard and keep talking like this. This is one of the most American videos that's ever been made. Hold up.

What does it say? Alex Jones rants an indie folk song. Look at that over to the right, Jerry. Oh on. What does it say? Alex Jones rants an indie folk song. Look at that over to the right, Jimmy. Oh, you've never seen that? No. Click on that, please. I've seen it. Bro.

I love remixes. You've never seen this? No. This is wonderful. Oh, I have seen it. Yeah. I've had enough of these people. They're the most Christian

murderous scum. They're the giant death factories keeping babies alive. They're selling their bodies. You need to know about these people. I go out and face these scum. They literally crawl out from under rocks. They have green looking skin Do you know how similar this sounds to the fucking Hamas people?

They're like, I go out and see these people. They're saying this and this. It's all the same shit on every side. Big noses. Yeah. Whoop. Yeah, man. That's a great remix.

What's up, Jamie? What's up? He said, yeah, man. Yeah, man. In the video? Oh, yeah, man. Thank you, J-Mo. Those subtle ones.

Mark sneaks them in. Is it hot in here? No. You're texting Jamie? Yeah, it's 75 degrees in here. It's all that blue piss talk. What do you mean it's not 75 degrees? On his meteorology.

It says it's 75 degrees. Are you being nasty? Do not make me bully you into giving me money. Are you guys legitimately hot? I'll control the weather. Go down. Keep that saying. Finally. Jew magic.

Thanks for telling me, guys. Weather, go down, please. I'll handle it. Thank you. Finally. But if you could, wouldn't you? Control the weather? Yeah.

Yeah. Hell yeah. But that's the problem. We're going to not do it? Yeah, you have to control the weather. If you could make a hurricane hit a specific spot. Oh, we had it for bad? I was going to make it nice. to control the weather. If you could make a hurricane hit a specific spot. Oh, you mean for bad? I was going to make it nice.

What if a hurricane has to happen? Well, it's going to. It has to happen. But if you could keep it away for spring break. You could steer it. England. They never get me. No, England's nice.

Where would you send it to? Yeah, Potterworld. Well, they ruin New Orleans. People start getting suspicious if you hit power grids. Hurricanes only hit power grids of foreign companies What's going on the machinery you match if they just start targeting tornadoes and shit That's actually a fucked-up question. You don't ask you know where if you had to pick one place to get hit with like a Tornado, but you had to you have to you have has to be like a certain

God passion has to be over a half a million people Yeah, where do you throw it? For sure Miami now do my beloved Buffalo Bills Not bills After yesterday Still feel I think you take Connecticut out. That's a tough. I just keep it Miami take Hartford out. Nobody notices You saying hit Tennessee no, I just this happened I think you'd take Connecticut out. That's a tough fight. I say just keep hitting Miami. You take Hartford out and nobody notices. That's true. You're saying hit Tennessee?

No, just this happened wild. Oh, that's right. A tornado hit Nashville this weekend. A tornado hit something, right? What did it hit? I don't know. Probably an electrical part. Okay, I want you to imagine.

If someone can control the weather, that's what I would do. If I was an evil dictator somewhere and I could control the weather, I would attack power grids with tornadoes. You want to know how I know Jews don't control the weather? I don't think Germany gets any natural disasters. And if I were them, I would give a little payback. I'd say, here's some fucking hail. And Israel's too hot in the summer.

Yeah. Is it? Hail. I'd say, how about a little hail? That's the joke, baby. All right. What is this, Jamie? This video just came out today I hadn't seen it yet

A car driving through the tornado Whoa Holy shit, man He's just like I gotta go This guy's a psycho What the fuck Where are you going?

This dude's just going I like his windshield Over His windshield's getting shattered What do you mean pull over, you dumbass? Look at his windshield Where's he going? He's gonna outrun it?

Speed This is the best Uber driver ever. Fuck out. These guys are going the other way. Fuck those pussies. It doesn't matter. This guy's right. We're going one way.

This guy's right. He's going the right way. You got to go. Oh, look at the window. He got out. I'm on team that guy. Yeah, you got to go any direction. Don't be a pussy, Ari.

You're a tornado. I'll change my mind. I'll change my mind. Pull over is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You want a car that can drive over shit. Pull over. No, it's a cardigan. You want a car that can fucking go over bumps.

There's one. It's going to be tough to find. I got big into storm chasing videos. I'm a big tornado fan. Okay. There's a video of this dude who brings his dad with him to a storm chase so his dad doesn't know how serious it is so all this like the storm chaser and his friend jump in the car and they're like oh fuck it's turning we gotta go the dad gets in the back

he's still like what he's like he hops in the car smiling and then he realizes everyone else is panicking and he's like oh it's, and then he realizes everyone else is panicking, and he's like. Oh, pull it up. It's great. And then they get hit by like a fucking tractor. Whoa. They live. They live. But like, they got caught.

Tornadoes are wild. Were they in a regular car? Were they in a tornado-faced vehicle? I'm sure they had. I don't think it was that weighted. I think it was regular. You ever seen those that are covered in armor? Yeah, those are like an IRA car.

Oh, wow. To weigh it down. Yeah. The tornado car? Yeah, yeah. They have a car. Oh, wow. To weigh it down. Yeah. The tornado car? Yeah, yeah. They have a vehicle that's got like steel plates all around it. Yeah. Because it's got to be heavy.

It'll get scooped up. It's from shit hitting you, mostly. Yeah. Yeah, big, big chunks of things. Hay bales. Those giant fucking hay bales. You get hit by a flying cow. Oh, Jesus.

You get hit by a house. Yeah. Jamie, I don't know how to. I'm looking. I was trying to find. Yeah, Jesus. You get hit by a house. Jamie, I don't know how to... I'm looking. I try to find... Dad storm chaser. My all-time favorite tornado video is this dude is driving at night and it's a lightning storm.

Every time the lightning lights up, you see this tornado and it's as big as a town. And it's in the distance. And you can only tell where it is when the lightning is going off bro i love it what do you know about jesus dude not enough have you seen that video uh oh jamie find that video you don't know about f5s chicken vaginas here watch this video this is nuts so this guy's driving and look at that every time at like look at this size. That's a big one. That's fucking Stranger Things.

Bro, that's a demon. That's literally, if you lived 5,000, 10,000 years ago, you would think a demon has come down to Earth. Oh, yeah. 300 years ago, you'd go. Yeah. I was thinking about that the other day. You see your boy get struck by lightning back then. You'd be like, what did he do?

Oh, he was gay. Thor God. He was gay. Thor God. God got him God God like you were walking with him and you were like I hate this motherfucker there's a couple guys okay my life I don't know I like this whole time couple guys get hit by lightning and survived like three times yeah dude one guy got hit seven yeah he's the world right now we're just talking about on this bike I don't know it might have and survived like three times. Yeah, dude survived. One guy got hit seven. Seven? He's the world record. Wow. What the fuck is he doing after five? What are we talking about on this podcast?

I don't know. It might have been. What do you think was wrong with that dude? It can't be a coincidence. Maybe he had a hip replacement. Two was a coincidence. He was a liar? No.

Could be a liar. No, I think he was treated. No, no, no. I think this guy's documented. Treated for insanity. Unlike the migrants. Well, you know, the one guy got hit by lightning. What kind of a connection is that?

Unlike the migrants. The migrants. I said documented. You're losing your mind. Oh, it's documented. One guy got hit by lightning and it cured his blindness. Oh, wow. Fun fact.

He gave him x-ray vision. You could see your dick through your pants. Now we're cooking. Now it's a holiday. Now we've got the holiday spirit. I forgot the eggnog. I'll be back. What's your favorite Christmas song?

Ooh, jeez. That's a tough one. I mean, I like Joy to the World by Nat King Cole. The Beatles one is pretty good. The Beatles. Well, it's just Paul. Oh. The simply having a wonderful.

That's my number two. That's a solid two. Mine is James Brown. What is that? Fuck. I forgot the name of it. James Brown is a Christmas song? It's so good.

You had to have one back then. Next Christmas, something next Christmas. Bro, why doesn't Trump drive off in his golf course to a man's world? Oh, it's so good. I mean, we are fucked. We're number 47 on his card. He's the better option. No, that ain't it.

Let's make Christmas something this year. Are we fucked or is it awesome? That's it. It's awesome for comedy. It's great. Yeah, I agree. It's the greatest for comedy. What?

Selling tickets. If Trump wins. Oh, for comedy, it would be great. The greatest. Any political comic should love it. Everyone. On both sides. Boy, I need him to win.

You need him to win, buddy. You're going to host SNL. You will. You will host SNL. If he wins, they have to have you on. Would you do it? We were talking about the- Day one of the presidency.

Last night, we were talking about the Daily Wire's Lady Ballers movie. Yeah. We were talking about that, and there's an article on the Daily Wire saying that us talking about it inspired the making of it. Because I said, you couldn't do it anywhere today, like make a real comedy. You would have to do it on a streaming platform, like a right wing platform, like Daily Wire could do it. So they fucking did it. So they went out and did some movie on trans athletes competing in, it's called Lady Ballers.

I haven't seen it. Have you guys seen it? They already made Juana, man. Two minutes of it. Yeah, it seems a little- It's a little heavy-handed. Yeah, it's just a big fuck you to the other side where they could have just gone for just a funny comedy.

We were watching The Green Room at the stand a little bit, but like two minutes of it here or there. But we were talking about that. It's pokey. But at least they went for it. Yes. So this is the thing. If they're willing to do that and maybe they missed the moment. He's not even bending down.

That's just his normal height. Writing a comedy is hard. That's the thing. Not anyone can do it. Also, female basketball players would rock these honkies. Yeah, sure. It's not even, wow. It's not like you got some dudes looking to play.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. As a practice player for the University of Maryland basketball team, I will tell you, I would do surprisingly okay. Oh, with a bunch of young boys? No, we all figured it out. I would have been six man. You can't play.

And I didn't commit fully to it. I would have been six man. They agreed Ari. You're not a bad athlete Yeah, but I'm not great or anything. Yeah, but I would have been six man. Oh really? And yes, you're tall would have easily yeah, well when we started doing jujitsu together I'm like Ari's it not a bad athlete you pick things up survival instinct Yeah, but it's also like you you pick things up. Survival instinct? Yeah, but it's also like you pick things up. Especially jujitsu. Jujitsu. Everyone, have you ever heard of the

juke claw? Yeah, that's right. He was like, it's very clear, it's not J-I-U. Yeah. It's the juke claw. What about Krav Maga? Is that decent? Sure. Yeah, it depends on who's teaching it, but it's a combination of all the best techniques from all martial arts What if a woman's teaching it sure if she's good if she's Valentina Shevchenko

It's like what are you teaching you're teaching Muay Thai you're teaching jiu-jitsu You're teaching some self-defense stuff You know a lot of the self-defense stuff like you really just have to understand physical movement like specifics like they might not come up And you're not drilling them enough. Like, someone does this, and then you do that. Most of the time, you're not going to remember that. Isn't it just hitting nonstop? Hitting someone nonstop in self-defense?

Isn't it a lot of, like, just keep throwing, fucking throw a hamburger at them, do anything, just don't stop? Krav Maga, you mean? Yeah. Well, I mean, for survival, they would most certainly tell you grab everything around you and hit something with it. That's what you just do.

I think everybody would say that. They grab everything. Bah! I mean, it. That's what you just do. I think everybody would say that. Grab everything. Bah! I mean, if you're trying to fight for your life, why wouldn't you pick up that chimpanzee skull and bash somebody? Yeah, exactly. Just don't stop hitting. Yeah, why would you just use your fist? Your hands are, especially if you understand, like your hands are so brittle.

Punching people with your hands, it's so easy to break your hands. Your hands break so easy. Especially if you're not used to punching people's hard heads, and you hit them on the forehead, your hand's going to shatter. And then you have no hand. Now you have to fight for your life with one hand, and one swollen hand that hurts every time you move it. Yeah, but don't

even think of the adrenaline. You don't notice that hand. You'll notice it. You'll notice it. You'll get tired. And especially if it lasts for more than 15 or 20 seconds, then you're fucked. Because then you don't know how to sustain yourself in violent encounters. You don't know how to maintain your heart rate. You don't know how to stay calm when chaos is happening. Right, right, right.

You fucking full-on panic if you're not used to adversity like that. If you're used to it, you could just ride the wave out where someone spazzes out. And then eventually they're going to be exhausted. Most people, if you're fighting them, they have a good 30 seconds in them and then they fall apart and then you could just beat them to death most people most people and they're gonna go nuts but today if you're doing that man there's a real good chance like a 20 30 chance you're gonna run to someone who could fight exactly so many guys train today that's. That's kind of nice, though. People don't start shit because they're like, uh, this guy might

know something. I think they still do. I think people are so fucking stupid. And it's all the people who don't know how to fight that are starting shit. Yeah. But there's a lot of people. You see that TikToker get knocked out by the bouncer? Pull it up. Uh, I haven't. He was like talking shit, and then the bouncer just goes, you know what, and just punches this guy. Whoa.

Lays him out. Did you see that rapper's security guard who fucks up this fan for no reason yeah? I said comes over a young kid and they KO him and he bounces his head off the concrete. It's horrible Why no reason ran up to the rapper because he wanted he's a fanboy Did you wait did you see Bert attack that fucking guy in the Netflix golf thing. What happened? Some protester started running on. Dude. Burt Kreischer? And he runs by Burt to get to the... She runs by Burt. I don't know if it's a he or she. She? I don't know. To get to, like, some

pro golfer, and Burt's just right there. He goes, no, no, no, no, no, no. He goes, something's up here. Show it. It's crazy. Burt Kreischer? Yeah. He explained what was happening. He said they all started making fun of him because he was talented. He didn't need to be helping.

So his PETA supporters were pulled off the Netflix cup after sharing an urgent message for Greg Maffie. F1 needs to pump the brakes on its connection to the deadly idiot. I don't know what it says. I did it wrong. Okay. So Burt Kreischer. So the girl runs.

Oh, we didn't see the video. Well, it was live. It happened so fast. There was a video. You couldn't tell it was happening, and Bert stops. Oh, we didn't see the video. Well, it was live. It happened so fast. There was a video. You couldn't tell it was happening, and no one could tell it was Bert happening. Comedian Bert Kreischer played the hero role during the Netflix comedy. What a fucking animal. He's the best.

Look at him. But it seems like she had both of her hands on the sign, so it doesn't seem like she was- She was running forward. It looks like she's standing there. She was running forward past him. That's it. This is a pedo lady? Oh, my God.

He took her down. He took her down lightly. Oh, shit. Wow. Comedian Bert Craig. When did this happen? Like in the last month or so. Santino was here, too.

I didn't even know. I totally missed this. This is not what they showed on TV. So here's the video. So is the security guard already getting somebody? He grabbed the guy. Assume Bert is drunk at this point. Oh, he's hosting.

I don't know. He's been drinking less. So he ran out there. Yeah. He didn't take her down. She just went to her knees. I was going to mic it a sketch. They're literally just started the event.

They're calling the people out for the first tea. They just said their names. God, all that does is make people hate PETA. All these rich whites are like, move on. There's not one person who sees that and goes, I'm not eating any more cheeseburgers. Yeah, how about if I could join a tournament and win? And they'd be like, this is for PETA. That wouldn't even work.

Right. That would help. That wouldn't even work. Because you'd look like a hero. Maybe. Oh, no. But it's like the food. Now you did it.

But the people for the ethical treatment of animals is based on the Animal Liberation Organization initially. And they don't think that anyone should have pets. You're talking animals? Yeah. PETA. PETA protesting and Bert Kreischer tackled that lady. Oh, that was nice. She just went to her knees.

The Netflix golf thing? Yeah. The people that were at least at the top levels of PETA, they want animal liberation. Meaning they don't want anyone to have pets. Not only do they not think you should eat meat. We need to let golden retrievers out. Imagine my sweet boy Marshall fed in for himself out in the wild. Trying to kill a wild turkey.

That dude, he ate a pound and a half or two pounds of gravel the other day. I had to take him to the hospital. This dog's a special need. He can't take care of himself. Yes, I did a little bit. We have chickens, and someone poured the chicken feed on the gravel, and they let the dog out. The dog's like, oh, this is delicious. So he starts eating the gravel.

I've got a lot of chicken feed, though. He ate two pounds of gravel. And then he starts throwing up gravel in my house. And I take him to the hospital, and thank you, people. We'll take care of him. He's fine. He's good to go. He's been fine for over two weeks now.

But it was scary, because I thought he was going to have to get surgery. He had gravel in his stomach and his intestines. It was in his colon. He had to eventually shit it out, but it took a few days before it even started coming out. So they were nervous. So they had to keep him overnight for observation. It was rough. Yikes.

Jamie, can you play that for me? That's my point. These PETA people are out of their fucking minds. Marshall can't live in the woods. Bandit ate a blowfish in Ecuador in a rush to the hospital late at night. Oh, my God. For like 20 times. We were surfing, and she was just eating a fucking deadly fish.

Oh, my God. That's crazy. Yeah, it was like 8 p.m. Like, every fucking vet is closed. We're like, we got to go to the next town over. It's like two hours away. We got to go. Did you get, but obviously.

Sailing shots. Oh, that's what it is? It's like nothing but rice for next week. Ecuadorian veterinary. Oh, because every other one is a witch doctor. For real. Really? We gotta go did you get but obviously saline shots? Oh cuz every other one is a witch doctor for real. Yeah, yeah, and you're like hey I know what to do and then you go I tell you that's fucking nuts these people are crazy Can I get the bandit is awesome now you're about to bond beer I love that dog better rules Then it is a good dog such Such a fun dog. She loves her house. It's a bit of a coward, but it's a cute dog. She's so excited.

It's a New York dog. It is a coward dog. A bit of a coward with fireworks. Well, you know. I think you guys are gay for treating the dog that way. They have like, they put the dog in the bath.

I go to Ari's for the 4th of July. What? A little water pitcher? Thank you. I gotta have some hydration here. Jamie, fire that video up for, just for background stuff. Thank you. How bad does it get hydration here. Jamie, fire that video up for background stuff. Thank you.

How bad does it get? This has got water in it. What are you talking about? What's going on? It's going to be gore of some kind. What is this? Oh, boy. Oh, I don't want to see kids die in a car.

Kids fine. Oh, my God. Kids fine. I don't want to see a car crash. Kids fine. Kids are a ghoul. No, no. Seatbelt, fine. I don't want to see a car crash compilation. The kid's fine, dude. The kid turned into a ghoul. No, no, seatbelt, dude.

Wear your safety. Oh, she hit her head. Oh, my God, the way that lady hit her head. You need to wear your safety buckle. Well, that's the problem. This is best, dude. Watch this guy. He's listening to the podcast right now.

He's listening to Protector Parks. He's listening to Rogan. Man, I love these guys. They just say whatever. He held it for a minute. He's like, it is fucked up what they're doing to Jews in Harvard. He didn't even bother trying to use his right leg. His right hand he never even bothered trying to use.

That's fun. Wow, that wasn't bad. That wasn't bad. Isn't that fun? That's a good one. That's a good time. Ooh, you know what? I got a good one.

I don't know if it's great for podcasting, but people versus waves. When they're all looking at it? Yeah, just watch dudes get wrecked by waves. It's very fun. Like drunk guys on the beach. Just get level. I like when they're like, wow it? Yeah, just watch dudes get wrecked by waves. It's very fun. Like drunk guys on the beach. Just get level. I like where they're like, wow, look at that wave. That's crazy.

And they don't think it's coming this way. Dude, look at avalanches too later, where they're all like, wow, how far away that is. And they're like, hey, guys? Watch out. It's still moving. You ever been caught in undertow? Fuck that kid. No, this isn't.

These are wholesome. Hold on, let me see. Unexpected wave compilation. Here we go. These are great. Wow, that kid tried to jump it. He did it. Stood up. The rest of these pussies fucking fell like loons. There's one video out there where there's a drunk guy that

keeps getting swept out. It's very fun. Keep getting swept out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Is that fun? Yeah. You're going to like it. You're going to love it. America! Fuck yeah! Coming again to save the motherfucking Jews. We are going to save you guys. Don't worry.

We got you. We need your money. We know. We need the banks. America's coming. Yes, this is it. This is wonderful. We know. We need the banks. They're like, yeah, America's coming. Uh, yes, this is it. This is wonderful. Truck man. This is wonderful. Also, I've been there. Los Cabos? No, no, no, where you're just in one foot of water. Dude, get out! This dude just keeps getting wrecked. Where you're in one foot of water and can't get out. He's like, quit fucking taunting the ocean! He just keeps getting wrecked. Oh, that's a bad one. That's a bad one. He gave in to that one, though.

That's a fucking idiot. His hands were up in the air. He was giving in to that one. He accepted. He wanted that to happen. Oh, get some air, man. Get him, y'all. There you go. He's gonna drown in. Oh, another big boy. Now his friend's like, he actually might die. Bro, that guy's, he might die now. If he goes under right now

and goes unconscious, you never find him. That's the thing about waves. They're unrelenting. It was all the ocean. He talked trash to Neptune. Oh, we lost him. Oh, here he is. Get him, boys.

You got to hold him by his ankles now. Drag that fucker. Start running, bro. He's in legit danger. Now they're all fucked. Oh, my God. Sweat. Now they're all fucked.

Sweep the leg. The ocean saved him. It gets funnier. Oh, wow. He goes. Now they're all fucked. Sweep the leg. The ocean saved them. It gets funnier. Oh wow. It goes further. Dig your hands in. Batman was doing it. Get the fuck up.

He's drunk. They abandoned that dude. He's never getting out of there. He is drunk. That's a good point. It's hard to stand up. Bro, this is how people die. Just run.

Whoever the fuck is holding this camera. Who's this naked guy? Don't fast forward. It gets funnier every time. He lost his pants. Of course he lost his pants. He's ace. There you go. Dudenier every time. He lost his pants. Of course he lost his pants. There you go. Dude, get away!

He's going. He's going. Uh-oh. Watch out! The dude lost his pants. That is hilarious. Good times. He's going back out.

He's going back out. He thought he was free. He can't free. Run! He can't move. Run! His hand's on his dick. You're in mortal danger. Oh, my gosh.

This guy keeps getting pummeled. This is the never-ending story. This is so easily solvable. Just faceplant, trying to put his shorts on. Oh, my gosh. He's going to put the shorts on and get wrecked again. I mean, I get it, though, too. I think how exhausting that was. That's a good friend.

That was so tiring. There you go. He stayed cool and how exhausting that was. That's a good friend. That was so tiring. There you go. He stayed cool and composed the whole time. That is funny. Good for him. Wow. Anyway, I thought that he lived. It's the holiday spirit.

The smart one. Didn't somebody die in the wave pool recently? Drink that, Buzzy. Oh. You've been nursing that thing for a while. You've just been holding that. I was watching the video. No, you're still doing it.

Drink it, dude. Jamie. Drink it. How about that George Santos? Drink it. Give me a key. I don't have any keys. Hold on, America, fuck yeah.

Yes. NFL. NFL. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Slavery. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Internet. Fuck yeah. Slavery. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.

Oh, man. Dude. You're up, JoJo Rabbit. Give me one, Shapir. Holy shit, that's cold on the throat. Shapir. Oh, God. I just want to do it.

Okay. You go first. I'll go second. What are you going to do? The old school here. Oh, God. I just want to do it. Okay. You go first. I'll go second. What are you going to do? The old school way? I'm not going to do it. No, no. The thing that he said in the group text that it's obviously he's going to blow out the

fucking... For sure not. I'm telling you I'm not because I would also be worried about blowing it out. That guy did it on his girlfriend. You can show that, but let's go. I won't do it. I'll wake you up right there. You'll go second.

I won't do it. Man. Are they cold? I won't. Let's go. I'm going to punch you in the face. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I won't. I don't know what you guys are saying. I'll laugh. Shocks the body. It's, I know, I know, I won't. I don't know what you guys are saying. I'll laugh. Shocks the body. It's gonna be funny. I'll punch you, but it will be funny.

It is gonna be funny. Alright, here we go. There you go. Jamie? Hit the song, JMO. Fucking... Hold on, give me one. Give me one.

And you gotta face the... You gotta face the opening. Yeah! It's sad. We have to pick up the patriotism in this country. No one else will do it. Wow, you put that down quick. Holy shit.

Joe. No, no, no. Man. No, no, you... Bro. That was impressive. That took me about ten minutes. Have you ever seen Luke Combs?

No. Luke Combs shotgun of beer? It's a thing of beauty. It's like a work of art. Really? He does it in... It's a about ten minutes. Have you ever seen Luke Combs? No. Luke Combs shotgun a beer? It's a thing of beauty. It's like a work of art. Really? He does it, and it defies time. Come on. Yeah.

Pull it up. Did he do it on the show? Yeah. We had a race. Oh, really? He beat me. He could have shotgunned three beers. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. That guy. Really? Luke Combs can shotgun a beer like a world champion. What am I doing wrong? Pretty much from start to finish. He's a big guy, too, but watch how he does it. I mean, it's...

You gotta get a big hole. You gotta fish in the same pond. Who's the twink? That's Brian Six. Ed Sheeran. Ed Sheeran, man. Who's the twink, you son of a bitch? It turns out Ed Sheeran might be the man.

He's the man. Might be the man. Don's the man. Might be the man. He might even lace up his shoes. Okay, watch how quick Luke Combs does it. Three, two, one. Wow. There's some weight to that. I agree, Jamie.

Some weight. Hold on. Somebody give Jamie the bomb. Wait to the can. Wait to the can. There was something in there. God damn it. Look, I'm not going to challenge that guy. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this dude. He's going to do it at Wait to the can. Wait to the can. There was something in there. God damn it. Look, I'm not going to challenge that guy.

Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this dude. He's going to do it at a show.

Cheers. This is so American. Do they have shotgun beers in Germany? No. No. Gas chambers. They drink them out of Stein. Shotgun juice.

Shotgun gas chambers. You son of a bitch. Will you hand that to Jamison? I like how the guy's like, he's really kind of down for that guy. One, two. That's still a lot of weight. A lot of weight. I'm not challenging that, man.

Luke Holmes. Answer the controversy. A lot of spillage. Well, you got to think just in terms of the sheer gravity. How fast can liquid come out of the key-shaped hole? Jamie, get on camera for this one, brother. I would like a larger hole. I would like a larger hole.

I would like a rage. I'd like my wife to have a smaller one. Don't say stuff like that. Tooth of the Arrow XL 4-blade. Get in there. Give me a big hole. It's dependent upon the size of the hole and the size of the body cavity. We're going to do it with you, Jamie.

Now you've got to do another one? Jamie's so good at it. You did it earlier. Now you've got to do another one. The sleeper. No, no. Jamie, yeah. He's a sleeper.

Yeah. Jamie's a lot of bread and corn. Jamie gets after it. I don't know if you know that. You're an animal, J-Mo. I just wanted to do it with corn. Jamie gets after it. I don't know if you know that. You're an animal, J-Mo. I just want to do it with Jamie. Jamie got after it. We went to Morgan Wallen's concert.

Jamie almost sucked Morgan Wallen's dick in front of everybody. Why in front of everybody, though, Jamie? I get sucked in. You were hitting on him. I saw you hit on Morgan. Organ Wallen. Vaginal Wallen. That's pretty good.

A little dicks and organ. Oh, this movie. South Park is still cooking, by the way. Dude. They just had the Pandaverse. Pandaverse is sick. Me and Gay Adam Eget went to... Dr. Gay.

South Park musical. Book of Mormon. Went to Book of Mormon, and it was the funniest fucking thing. It was good. Dude, I couldn't believe how funny that shit was. Is it still out? Yeah, it's a You can also sneak in an intermission

Wait till the back wait till see no seats taken I got a fight. I got a fight with lady story me and Adam Egan. Oh, yeah over what? It was a drunk lady two seats away from us that wouldn't shut the fuck up the whole time Oh, no, this was this was actually very funny. So there was it was me. It was an autistic woman. She was great I don't know if she was autistic. She And then it was this drunk couple and it was a one horse of a woman I'm talking a big mic And then it was this drunk couple, and it was a horse of a woman. I'm talking a big mic.

I see. I'm talking a full big mic. And she was yapping. She was going, hey, I don't like this play that much. I was like, hey. She wouldn't shut the fuck up. The autistic lady next to me is like, this woman is so fucking annoying. And I was like, yeah, she's pretty bad.

And she was like, I'm going to take the fucking elbow rest back. And I was like, do it. I support you. This autistic lady fucking shoved her to take the fucking elbow rest back. And I was like, do it. I support you. The elbow? This autistic lady fucking shoved her elbow off the armrest. Whoa. Started a battle. Uh-oh. That was a fucking little Gaza Strip.

Now we've got a fucking battle. Oh, no. Right. Now the drunk lady won't shut the fuck up. Oh, no. Won't shut the fuck up. Oh. Eget is on my right, and he's like, I'm going to say something. And I was like, yeah, dude, say something.

Yeah. He's just egging them on. No, no. For real. It can't end well. No, I was like. I'm going to say something. And I was like, yeah, dude, say something. He just egged him on. No, no. For real. It can't end well. No, I was like. I like what you did with the hole. That's the right kind of hole

I'm talking about. I was like, for real, say something. Adam Egan goes like this. In the middle of this thing, he goes, he was like, I'm going to say something.

I was like, yeah, that's fine. You're allowed to just be like, hey, be quiet. Adam goes, hey, you drunk giant bitch. Oh my God. No. Oh no. That's sober Egan. No. Oh no. Right Adam goes. Hey you drunk giant bitch

Kick somewhere so then I'm like I'm like hey, I'll take care of this like hey You're ruining the whole second half of this show like I didn't I I was being nice. I was like hey I know we're having fun, but you can't show us a woman. Yeah, okay. I was like hey I know we're having fun, but you can't show she woman. Yeah, okay. I was like hey Just yourself motherfucker, and I was like you guys just stop talking. She's like why are you talking right now then? She got you I'll give you a ping-pong she crushed you though. She was a mission just crush. She got you I'll be honest with you guys right now. It's a debate. Hold on a second. Now let me speak.

Can I speak? Can't shush a Shane. Oh my God. I said, all right, that's actually a good point. And I was like, so then let's both be quiet, starting now. Quiet. That's amazing. I tried the quiet game with her, because why are you talking to me?

Get one last word in, and then quiet. So did you say that? I know you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's genius. I was like, let's both be quiet. I'll be quiet. You be quiet.

A couple minutes later, I started talking to Eget. She goes, shh. She was waiting. She was waiting. So then I started waiting. So now I'm in. She goes, shh. She was waiting. So then I started waiting. So now I'm in. Are you going to join the show? The whole second half of the show is destroyed. First half of the show

I was crying laughing. Second half of the show I was, I'm going to fight her husband right now. Where's he in all this? He's a coward. He was being a coward. He should. Just go like, I don't see what's happening. He was being a coward.

Oh my God. He should be in that situation. No. He's gotten involved too many times. No. What's he going to be like, ma'am, lady, my girlfriend, my wife, shut up please. No.

Bro, that's a beaten man. What do you expect him to do? It's a beaten man. You just take it and act like you don't see it. He's got to take it. He's got to take it. No way.

You got to go, yo, if it was my girlfriend or wife at the time, I'd be like, we're done. Of course. If you don't shut the fuck up. Of course. He's got to take away you got to go. Yo if it was my girlfriend or wife at the time right? We're done He's already been beaten so I had beaten man. What should you do of course? There was something about her that was very hot she was like six fucking eight She fell on me She fell on me. She fell on me

during, before the intermission she got up to piss. Obviously she was hammered and she fell on me and she was like, I'm so sorry. I was like,

that's fine. You liked it. Do it. I liked it a little. I said, ooh. Something about a horse you can't break.

More to love. Yeah. More to love. Big dog. Yeah. But I can't, I usually can't go, I can't go for the big dogs because then it's just two big dogs going at it. That's a lot of flesh.

It's not very- Super athlete making. We would have made a seven foot retarded guy. Giant funny kid. We would have made a left tackle. No, it's more like a Mad Max. Yeah, it would have been a free competitor. That's how they make them.

That's what the Vikings did. Do you guys want a shotgun and beer with us? That's how they make them. That's what the Vikings did. Do you guys want a shotgun and beer with us? That's how they did a... We would have done it before. I'll do it again. Yeah, that's how drugs and alcohol works. Hand me your keys, please. Oh, more keys.

Joe, I get what you're looking for. I'm going to make it. BMW. I feel like I need a broadhead. It's got the flat keys. I feel like the right way to do it is a broadhead. Because you can get a nice square hole. That's exactly the flat keys. I feel like the right way to do it is a broadhead. Because you can get a nice square hole. That's exactly right, Jamie.

Next time we do this show, I'm going to bring an arrow. Is that a knife, Jamie? Don't throw it. I have a knife. Jamie, do not throw a knife. Next time we do it, I want to actually bring an arrow. Oh, that's cool. That'd be fun.

Just shove it in. Some people can do it with their thumb. What's that? You want this size hole? Bigger? Let me see what you got. Make it a little bigger. Bigger is it with their thumb. This size? What's that? You want this size hole? Bigger? Let me see what you got. Make it a little bigger. Bigger is easier.

Can I use the eagle? Yeah, that's good. No, I want you to shove it in. That's a solid hole. I like the eagle. I like you struggling. Yeah. I like you having a bit of a conf.

Mine, conf. Yeah. Conflict. All right. We're doing it old school, boys? More conf. We're doing it Luke Combs style? Yeah.

Okay, Luke Combs style. For Luke Combs. For Luke. Marcus. No, I'm waiting. I'm just... There you go. Accomplice.

Here we go. On the count of 22. Wait a minute. Guys, it's Christmas. It's Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. I love you guys so much.

I love you guys too. Let's go. Luke, bod fuck us. You guys are close. For sure. But here's the thing. Luke's already walking away. Here's the thing too.

I've got some in here too. It's not easy to get it all out. You've got to go not this way. But that thing is, what I'm saying is the Eagles way better. The Eagles good. That's empty. The Eagles pure. I've got a touch in here still.

The Eagles football team is still good. That's pretty empty. Look, this is pretty empty, too, but look what I have to do. That Jalen Hurts. Jalen Hurts is going to be good. I had to swish it around to get the last out. What I'm saying is the Eagles is the I have to do. That's Jalen Hurts Jalen Hurts is gonna be good. I had to like swish it around to get the last out what I'm saying It's just like the Eagles the only way to go. Eagle does make it a lot easier or efficient Yeah, the Eagles the only way it's just not as cool It's not cooler taking a knife to a can No way this is

Capitalism This is fucking capitalism. This is fucking the Indians. You're just a man who's not comfortable with knives. This is the Indians. Waste no part of the buffalo. This is fucking America. That's wasting. Waste no part of the buffalo.

The shotgun's a waste. Watch Stone. By the way, he wastes a lot. Yeah, he does. I don't even think he takes a sip. He just pours it

on his chin hair. Oh, I can do that. Yo, Down syndrome guy, Stone Cold. A hot tub? A pool? Whatever. That's a good one. That's a good one.

By the way, that waste no part of the buffalo thing, that's not real. Obviously. Really? Yeah, that's not real. They used to drive the buffalo. Fire it up, dude. Oh, my God. Is that glass?

Don't move. Ric Flair. Oh my god! That's awesome! Jesus Christ! Don't let him do that! Don't do it in the pool! The fact they see it about to happen and they're like, oh fuck fuck, hey no no no no no! And it's happening.

It's crazy that he decides to do it in the pool. Holy shit! Oh my god. Shard is right on the second step. Do not move! Do not move! decides to do it in the pool. Holy shit! Oh my god. Shard is right on the second step. Do not move! Do not move! That's a Florida family.

You can tell it's an indoor pool. Oh yeah. Those are older parents. That is literally what separates us from the rest of the world, that we can have people like that. Hell yeah. Not just that, but all of it. That is literally what separates us from the rest of the world, that we can have people like that. Hell yeah. Down syndrome guy in a stone cold vest. Not just that, but all of it. The fucking, all of the fucking, even us watching that.

Oh, yeah. The madness of it all, us cheering it on. They get rid of them in China. Oh, yeah. You gotta be free to be a moron. That's also the best. Yes. Filming that, being like, I mean, that's literally, I don't know.

I don't want to get too philosophical, but that's God, dude. That's just joy. That's beauty. Right. He's having fun right there. Everybody's having fun. Even though he fucked up, everybody's going, fuck. We got to drain the pool.

That's still hilarious. He definitely fucked up. He definitely should have done that. I hope he didn't get hurt. As long as you don't step in it, it's definitely Florida. Look at that cage around the pool that every Florida house has. The cage around the pool to keep alligators from coming in your fucking yard. It goes all the way up.

He's having a good time. That's for real. Look at his face. He's like, damn, that's bitter. It's genuinely joy. Bro, they have to keep. They're like, dude, I get the enthusiasm. Stone Cold does it with cans.

Who gives a fuck? They're fired up. That's more Stone Cold than actual Stone Cold. it with cans. Who gives a fuck? They're fired up. That's more Stone Cold than actual Stone Cold. A hundred percent. That's a real rattlesnake. Yeah, that's a real rattle. There's no medical team waiting for him backstage. Woo!

Woo! Yeah. Everyone's filming going, God damn it, he fucked up. Damn it. Bro, Florida is so wild. Florida is wild. Florida is a beast, dude. That's a beast.

Florida is the craziest place. It's awesome. It's crazier than Texas. It's next level crazy. When Texas falls, I will have to move to Florida. Simone's living in central Florida, which is not even a big city. It's all weird farmers and people moving slowly. Really?

Like Tampa? Like in between orlando orlando in between yeah the move is to live in the everglades if you can that's the move those are wild people just sitting on a stoop that's the move shooting panthers if you if you have to move to if there's a way to live as close to the everglades as is legally possible that's where you should live you should should live on top of the literal serpents and dinosaurs that occupy the center of the dick of the country. Montana gets too cold and you could die outside. And there's no one there. You manage the monsters.

Least populated state. But if you want to have fun, if you really want to have fun, you got to be in mortal danger almost every day. Well, New York's a great time. New York's a great time. I'm a freak. Almost every day.

This is what you do. When all goes south, you get a place that's surrounded by alligators and crocodiles. Fire moths, dude. Little boop. Giant pythons. But those gators end up in your pool and shit. And it's 114 degrees in the summer and you think you might run out of water and die. Hold on.

Have you guys watched this guy? We've talked about this guy before. Which guy? This is the guy that Kim Connan brought up that I couldn't find. Fishing with Gary. He's so good, dude. Calls them swamp puppies. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We did. We had a python cowboy on the podcast. We talked about finding pythons in Florida. Really? That's man. He's got dogs now. Sounds like a gay bar. And the dogs are trained.

It does. Python cowboy. It does. It does. You know who's nickname that is? Python cowboy. Do you know who python cowboy's nickname is? Who?

What? Michelle Obama. Oh, shit. I should have seen it coming. Big Mike. Not bad, not bad, not bad. Python. That's pretty good.

That's pretty good. There's something about Python. That's a great word. Python. Do you know there's a half a million of them estimated in the Everglades? That's what that guy does. Garrett? Oh, yeah.

He goes around and grabs pythons. There's a shitload of those dudes. Shitload of those dudes. Pals. They're shooting iguanas. Iguanas are everywhere. Florida is amazing. Shoot it. By the way, they have a shoot on site order for Nile crocodiles in the

Everglades. Yeah, they're like deer. There's too many. Apparently, no, no. It's mostly alligators, but they've spotted African Nile crocodiles, the ones that eat zebras. Ah, they're ruining the neighborhood. The ones that eat people. The ones that eat people. They eat everything.

They eat everything. And they think there might be a breeding population in the Everglades. There can't be. Whoa. There can't be. Whoa. We gotta kill them. It's amazing!

Africans. The same shit that happened with pythons will happen with crocodiles if they get a breeding population. They're going to start going, it's over. What they are is like Marshall. Marshall's an alligator. A crocodile is my dog, Frank. Do you remember Frank, the pit bull? Frank.

Animal. He was a psycho. Yeah. He was a dog. He'd growl at me, and I'd be like, Joe, fucking get him out of here. He's frightening. He had to run shit. It was a weird thing.

He was a good dog, but he had this overwhelming need to run shit. He never did anything. He would just sit there and go. If he thought you were a pussy, he would fucking corner you. I was a pussy. And I'd be like, Joe, get him away from me. If he thought you were nervous, he would corner you. He just didn't trust people in the house. He was a pussy. He would fucking corner you. I was a pussy. And I'm like, Joe, get him away from me. If he thought you were nervous, he would corner you. He just didn't trust people in the house.

He was a crazy dog. But that's what a crocodile's like. Yeah. It's a totally different animal than an alligator. Really? There's a video of this tank filled with alligators and crocodiles. And they start feeding the alligators and the crocodiles. And the crocodiles just stomp on the alligators

and get to the food. They get to the food real quick. Joe's fired up. It's a totally different thing. When you watch them, you go, oh. They evolved differently. They evolved with lions. They evolved with

zebras and wildebeests and water buffaloes and now crocodiles are like five times the size of a yeah they get so watch this this dude's feeding them wow bro so the story is they put moses's casket in that a little basket with a baby and throw it in there in that a little basket with a baby and throw it in there. Good move. Get out of here. Oh my God. He's going to slap it on the head.

Get out of here, motherfucker. This kid needs some car mix. Oh my God. That's scary. All right. Let's see where the shark is. Bro, those are all real live dinosaurs, real live ancient creatures that didn't need to evolve.

They had a good mixture of survival and numbers. Jews? What numbers What? I thought we were being racist Alright I take it back This is my favorite This croc bites this other croc's leg off And the other one doesn't even flinch And then he swallows it

Watch this Gulp What the fuck? Yeah bro that's what's in the fucking Everglades Some of those motherfuckers are in the Everglades. They're spotted. See if you can find that. I know we might have talked about this before, but if those things get to a breeding population

and they just dominate the Everglades, it's not like an alligator where it's okay to walk across a golf course. That thing will fuck you up. It will chase you. If it's hungry, it'll chase you. You ever hear Real Talk by R. Kelly? There's literally already a clip with 2.8 million views. Now Crocodiles are part of Joe Rogan.

I can't help myself. I'm fucking terrified of that, if it's true. You know who's not scared of crocodiles? But don't Google that. Google whether or not. Cats. We all know they were destroyed by pythons. Oh, well that's just caimans. Pull those videos up. No, no, no.

They'll fight alligators. Yeah, they slap them in the face. And it works. Well, no. Jaguars eat them, but no, like a house cat versus an alligator. A house cat will still sit there and be like, fuck you. Pull it up. Don't lose. That's all they know how to do. They don't know if this is dangerous. Dogs are the best. They bark at them, but

you're just sitting there. They come up to the shore and just go. One of my favorite things me and Soder ever joked about, the first, like, right when me and Soder met, it was our favorite thing. Here we go. This is a regular house cat. It worked! It worked! That's also. This is a regular house cat. Fuck you, bitch. It worked. It worked. That's also a bitch-ass

little alligator. Wow. There's some big ones. There's some big ones. They do big ones. I was just fucking around. Oh my god. Look at this. That's so crazy. Look at that monster. That's a cute cat. Look at the face on that thing. Jesus Christ. Imagine that looking at you. Imagine you're naked and your dick is like two feet away from that thing.

How much fear would be going through your mind? They're both like, what do we do here? Imagine you're on the shore. I want that chicken. Ari, I want you to picture this. You're on the shore and you're just banging your wife and you didn't realize that that thing was right there.

You look over and you're like, holy shit. They set that up quick. They put a bunch of food on the, they set that up. They put a bunch of food down there. But the cat's not scared at all. No. Well, I want to go for the cat. Whoa.

It doesn't move towards me. Look at that. Well, fuck you too then. Cats are too fast for that. They're very fast. You see a cat, there's a thing. Cats jumping at cucumbers? Hold on, hold on.

Oh, those are great. Just put a cucumber down. They go nuts. One thing at a time. Cats have faster reflexes than snakes. Those are great. When it comes close to it, the cat goes away. But you know what my favorite videos are?

Doesn't hurt. You know what my favorite videos of cats are? It's crows influencing them to fight. Each other? Yeah, I've seen that. Crows are so smart, dude. Crows are smart like a kid. They're smart like a human kid. Like a six-year-old.

Yeah, they call you a punk. They tease one cat, and they fly over and tease the other cat, and the cats are opposite rooftops and they start meowing at each other. The crows are up in a wire. Look at these idiots.

It's pretty great. And then they fucking leap over and fight each other. And the crow is watching. And he follows them the entire time. He hops around. Oh, it's another one. This is a different one. This is totally different.

Crows like to instigate cats, man. Really? Yeah, so these two cats are facing off with each other, and the crow's like, fight, pussy. Come on, fight, pussy. That's a racial war. And they get close enough so that they annoy the cat. Whoa. But this is like my, see, look, they watch.

They're like, look at this shit. This is amazing. Man, crows are good. Crows like it. Wow. It's like when people like watching people fight Yeah, crows are enjoying this. This is like you and Cormier Look at this is hilarious

Crows are so fucking smart man It fucks up this whole idea that the only way could be smart is if you have a big brain Crows fuck that up. Yeah. Because they, this is my favorite video. This crow comes over and he just subtly fucks with his cat. And then he flies over to the other side. And he flies back and forth and he keeps

fucking with these cats. Wow. He gets close enough to irritate them and he pecks at their asses and shit. What? It's brutal. He gets behind him. He gets behind him. He fucks with him. Look at him. Wow.

There's no chance these are the same two cats, is it? I mean, they look similar. No, no, no. These two might be the same crow and cat. No, they fight. This guy knows about this. Go, go, go.

Imagine he's just been doing this for weeks. It's a fucking Don King of cats. Only in Mumbai They do look similar don't they Black cats look alike They go off the fucking road The crow follows them down Holy shit

Get him He calls you a homo He's pecking at them That's her bee dude he's watching They go down the stairs Two her bees in one episode This is Dana White. He's pecking at them while they're fighting. That's her bee, dude. He's watching. Bro, they go down the stairs. Look at this. Boom! These cats are getting after it.

Crows are smart. You've seen the video where he fills up the water to get the food? Yeah. That's amazing. That is so smart. Or they drop the nuts in front of a car so they run over them and crack open the nuts. Yes, they crack open the nuts. You know why cat fights are nuts?

I don't think we did this one. Cat fights are nuts because all cats will fight each other.