The Joe Rogan Experience - #2103 - Sam Morril

Episode Date: February 15, 2024

Sam Morril is a stand-up comic, writer, and actor. He's the co-host of the "We Might Be Drunk" podcast with Mark Normand. Catch his special, "Sam Morril: Same Time Tomorrow," on Netflix.  www.sammorril.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Joe Rogan Experience. Showing by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. It's my first week ten. I don't really like it. Do you like cigars? I like alcohol and I like coffee. I'm a big cigar guy. Do you want an alcohol?

Maybe in like second half of the show. Second half of the show. I like to feel the caffeine. Let's prepare glasses, maybe in like second half of the show. Second half of the show. I like to feel the caffeine. Let's prepare glasses with ice for the second half of the show. Let's things start getting a little sideways. Yeah. So what's happening, brother? How you doing?

Great, great. I've been on the road just going pretty hard with this hour and I love it. I still romanticize the road. I still love it. And I did theaters last year for the first time ever, just the theater run, so now I'm back in clubs to just tighten it, but it's, I love it, man. Yeah, clubs are the best.

It's the best experience. The arenas are pretty nice. They're fun. In the round, they're really fun. They look fun. Theaters are fun, but it's slightly removed from a club. Club is better than a theater. Yeah, it's pretty cool.

I mean, theaters, I forgot how intimate clubs were just doing theaters last year and being like, oh shit, I can see when a dude's frowning. I can see one person having a bad time now. So I forgot about that, but there was a guy in Dallas over the weekend who just kept doing this to me, and I'm like, what the fuck? And I was like, oh, your girlfriend's a fan.

He doesn't like me. His girlfriend, he was just a drunk. Oh, wow. And I peeled out of him, he was drunk on rum too, which is the fun, to me it's like funny. That's funny, that's a Jimmy Buffett drunk. It's just not, you don't see a lot of white dudes with goatees who are rum drunk, so I was like, all right.

He's eccentric. Yeah, he was just a bad drunk, but she was cool as hell. Well, sometimes guys have a real hard time with their girlfriend being a fan of a guy. I feel like most of the people that like me are dudes, but when I see women out there, I'm like, great. Yeah. I'm happy.

I see a table top of four. I'm like, fuck yes. Yeah. Whenever a lady asked me, you're Joe Rogan. I'm like, yeah. They're like, I'm a fan of your podcast I'm always like that's crazy Thank you. I mean I'm sure you have a lot of female fans a big pod is the number two female podcast What's number one true crime that makes sense like one of them true crime shows women love true crime

Yeah, so this women do listen to it. Yeah, but it's not you know, I'm a guy and I'm probably annoying I Get it. I get it like if you're a woman and you don't mean that this is a bro heavy show You know like when we do protect our parks or when we do a fight companion or the fights are definitely Brought for bro. Yeah, and then when I have fighters on unless it's female fighters. I've had a bunch of female fighters on too You know female fighters, I've had a bunch of female fighters on too. You know, female fighters are probably my best example that I point to when people think that something horrible about fighting, that it's like brutality and it's wrong and it's barbaric and I'll point out to some female fighters. I'm like just listen to this woman talk, like listen to Rose Namauna's talk about fighting and like

listen to her post-fight speeches, she's telling everybody that we just have to be nicer to each other. It is pretty cool to be almost like Buddhist and a fighter. She's an amazing, amazing human, very unusual human being. You know elite world-class fighter, world champion, multiple times and like one of the sweetest nicest people alive. She's so nice to her opponents after fights. That's, I don't know a lot about fighting. A lot of it I've learned from hearing you talk and stuff, but I remember watching a fight with like Louis Gomez

and Dave Smith once and they knew so much about it that that's how you get me into it, like backstory and stuff. Yeah. Like I'm an insane NBA fan. I love sports, but yeah, I mean the camaraderie in that stuff to me is like, what interests me also is like, you know, growing up as a 90s basketball fan, these guys fucking hated each other.

Like, wanted to fight, like Oakley, Rodman, they were like down to fight you, and mind games and shit. And now they all play AAU ball together, so they're all buddies. And that, so part of it's kind of lost a little. It's weird, like the camaraderie's beautiful, and now the trades are so off,

and you're gonna end up on this dude's team at some point anyway. Yeah. Well, I guess it's probably the best players can figure out how to always play as a team while playing their best. You know. If your ego allows you to.

Yeah, that's the thing about. Some people are stubborn. Like I'm definitely no basketball expert, but when I watch like high performing athletics, it's in a team sports environment, it's always this dance between what is the best thing to do to score versus what do I wanna do? What do I wanna do since I have the ball? What's the best thing to do? Do I wanna try to show off, do I want to do? What do I want to do since I have the ball?

Do I want to try to show off? Do I want to try to pull off something wild? Or do I pass? You know, like what do I do? And then people get upset when you don't make, you know, the ladder, when you don't pass enough, right? That's like a big one. Yeah, if you slow down, like, I mean, think about it.

If you want to simplify it to like kids playing in the park, if you're playing your ass off on D and you have one dude just like iso dribbling the whole time on offense, you slow down, think about it, if you want to simplify to kids playing in the park, if you're playing your ass off on D and you have one dude just like ISO dribbling the whole time on offense, you're wasting our energy. You're being a dick. I don't like that. So yeah, I think- There's always going to be guys like that that just want the ball. But you have to know who you are.

It's like anything else. If you know what's funny about you, you'll be a better comic, right? If you know what your purpose is as a basketball player, I'm a defender. I'm a three-point specialist. Knowing who you are is all of it, really, you know? It's one of the classic fumbles of all time, is a guy who talks shit while playing basketball and then gets his ass kicked. Yeah, but it's so satisfying. It's the worst thing ever.

I mean, I see people shit-talking like Steph Curry. I'm like, you know how this ends. It's like shit-talking Jack Reacher. You're how this ends. It's like shit talking Jack Reacher You're gonna fucking lose so ridiculous. Yeah, why are you doing that? People are so delusional like the difference between a world-class athlete and the average person is such a gap but then again, there's some people out there they just genetic freaks and you know, they probably, you know, are young and are super cocky, and they might be elite someday,

and they think they are right now. Right. You know, it's just like, that's just a part of like, being a male, you know, involved in competitive sports. They're all just going after each other, whether it's with basketball or football or especially with fighting On the professional level it can be cool But when you play with your friends in the park and you have that one guy with anger problems

And you're like I had a friend who used to yell at people like dude that guy's homeless You got to stop yelling at a homeless guy I had a friend who used to do that at the comedian softball game He would do it him and this other dude who's also my friend doing scream in each other's faces Screaming like two gorillas just screaming in each other's faces It was so ridiculous some people need that to get them amped up like Mike Michael Jordan would create shit He would create reasons to be mad at like there's a famous story about MJ Well, he like a guy was like he had a career night about against Michael Jordan a career night

He, like a guy was like, he had a career night about against Michael Jordan, a career night, 39 points or something, MJ had an off night, and at the end of the game, he was like, good game to Michael Jordan. Jordan was like, oh, I'm gonna fucking kill him. Like he said it, like in his head sarcastically. So the next time they play, Jordan annihilates him, like humiliates him, and then it later came out,

the guy's like, I never said that. I didn't say shit to to my but Jordan is so crazy He needs fuel to just be like you wronged me in some way and that's how all right He probably put it in his head that the guy did said that totally yeah, but that's like psychotic But that's how you get to be Michael Jordan when you're the elite of the elite That's just such a special mindset of the elite. That's just such a special mindset to be able to be that good at anything, whether it's Tiger Woods at golf or Michael Jordan at basketball or Mike Tyson at fighting to get that good at anything. Man, that is so rare. It requires so much insane focus on one goal and you're competing with what thousands and thousands

of other elite athletes that also have their eye on this one goal. Well Tiger Woods is a great example of like it's almost like you know you're a kid and you learned a language at like two years old and you're like well that kid speaks Spanish now it was easy for him. That's what Tiger's dad did to him with golf. It's like oh you just know that this is what it takes with golf and then of course you need to fuck 40,000 women. You have to. After that child look like Tiger Woods. Exactly. And I mean, Jesus Christ.

Yeah, let him have it. Yeah, it's all things ridiculous. But also it's like you see in that guy the difference between what elite athleticism applied to golf can, like, he got banged up. Yeah. Well, you don't hear about that many golfers that go through as many surgeries, and I know he's the one surgery for his leg, but a bunch of it's back stuff, right? Yeah.

And you got to think that fucking torque that guy puts in that club, like, how many times can you do that before your back just goes, fuck you? Yeah. The way that guy hits a ball? And he's one of those dudes where you're like, growing up, I'd be like, oh, you'd be a fat golfer. And then you see, no, your body will probably break down. Tiger's fucking ripped.

Yeah, he's jacked. Show me a video of him hitting a long drive. Oh, I was gonna show you this, which is kind of, it's almost more impressive His ability to stop mid-swing. This is this rear window who's shooting this right? This is like on-field stuff Oh, but it's really it's I mean it's why did he stop mid-swing because either someone made a noise or Something just distracted him, but like you're already going and you're so torqued up by the time you're in the back there to stop is but like you're already going and you're so torqued up by the time you're in the back there to stop is,

it takes a lot. It's just like a mental fortitude and then also to be able to stop without fucking up. But it is kind of funny the abuse other athletes take compared to golfers. Like this was probably heard. Like if you're playing football, Is it all abuse, yeah.

Well, I mean verbal from an audience. Like, all right. I mean, if you're playing, I used to do a podcast with Julian Edelman who's a Super Bowl champ with a Patriot three times. Great guy, but he would tell me, yeah, they would throw dildos at me on the field in Buffalo, because they hated me.

Now, in golf, they're like, quiet, quiet. And like, you can't take any noise. Yeah, there's no noise. It's a different focus. But there is that one tournament that they do where it's a giant crowd. You seen that one? That problem with that this weekend. What was it this week? They had a problem Yeah, what happened in too many people and they stopped selling alcohol like one in the afternoon

Oh, we're gonna so fucked up. Oh, no. Yeah It's like I mean that I don't know no no one got hurt or anything You show video well, I want to see a video of him hitting the ball first, but then I want to show Say I'm the video of this golf tournament I mean they get the dude the way his whole body like Swings that club. There's so much force Also used to see that emotion damn Mm-hmm and the gears of practice like how many times is he swung a club I

Should say I know nothing about golf, but like he's a dude if he's playing you're like yeah, it's fucking cool to watch tiger woods It's cool to watch. How does he play Jamie since he broke his leg? He has played okay like he came off since he broke his leg. He hasn't played that many Rounds really apparently had a terrible leg break like really bad. Yeah That's Gary. Is his son gonna be good? This son is good. Yeah. Yeah This sounds out driving him now, which I don't know what that means really, but like that's really good That's power at a young age. That's insane. This is that crazy hole the 16th at the waste management So look at this Phoenix open look at the crowd. There's like a gigantic crowd and they're loud. People are loud. Wow. They make it like a big stadium. Look at that.

It's pretty cool. I mean listen to that cheer for golf. And some of the players like encourage it on this hole you know. Oh my God, they're so loud. Oh shit. Holy shit. Oh shit. And everybody goes crazy. See, that is so much more impressive to do that in front of a crowd.

Yeah. You know, I mean, there's something kind of fucking cool about that. You have to shut out the world. I mean, that's a talent too. For sure. For sure. Especially in something that's so touch-oriented, like, you know, you just, you're just, you're concentrating on how many revolutions you're going to put on a ball on grass. Yeah. You know, it's like, there's so much touch to it that any little, ah, you're fucked. Yeah, golf and tennis, I've never been to either, and tennis when it's on TV, it's one of those

where I'm like, man, the shape you've got to be in. This was the crowd when he, this was the last time I won a big event. This is so insane. Look at this crowd. Yeah, this is stressful. They started chasing him down Augusta. Look how many people that is. He's got to keep it together. I think he had pretty much had it like wrapped up by now, but he still had to make the last

two shots. You can easily fuck those up. Dude, there's so many people. That's so ridiculous. What do you think of his dad? I mean, it is a weird way to raise a child. I'm not really familiar with exactly what happened. Well, his dad just turned him into Tiger Woods.

I mean, this is like, it's almost like a superhero origin story. I mean, you don't have a, if you become this, you don't have a good childhood. Yeah, and you probably also didn't have a choice. No way. Yeah, but that's the question. Is it different than being a stage mom? It's a good question.

It's a good question, like how much is too much, right? I mean, look at this. It's a good question. Like how much is too much? I mean look at this. This is kind of dark. He's two. He has a golf club and he's two. Bro, that's insane. The doc is incredible. It's on HBO I think. It's incredible. His form is immaculate at two. Wow. But that's a lot of hours, like,

Daddy, please let me watch cartoons. And he's like, fuck you, you're going to work on your swing. I mean, that's kind of sad. There's a little bit of that for sure. Yeah, you would like someone to just gravitate toward something. Yeah. And then you encourage them as far as they want to go with it. I think about it in sports a lot too,

where a guy like LeBron, who came from absolutely nothing and became LeBron, he's got a son now, who, first of all, being LeBron's son can't be easy, right? It's gotta be hard. Lot of pressure. Lot of pressure. And he's a good player, it looks like he's gonna make the NBA, but you're not gonna be LeBron.

Also, it's like, okay, you have every advantage. You grew up in an incredible home. You have trainers around the clock versus a guy who's like, hungry as hell. I mean, it's an interesting study if you had two guys with those talents and it's almost like a fucking trading places type thing, maybe I'm thinking.

You put him, okay, which is better? The hungry guy. I agree. Hungry guy with good genetics wins every time. Yeah Because he needs it. Yeah, it's a different mindset So it's got to be very difficult to engage in something like combat sports or pro football I'm not saying it's not possible But it's got to be very difficult to do that if you come from a really comfortable environment

Yeah, you know because you're just not gonna have that certain level of anger necessary to get the job done. And then in a combat sport, as you said, you need to shut that anger off at some point. And that's got it, same with football. That's a violent game, man. Watching the Super Bowl, how many people on the 49ers? I was like, this is like fucking war.

People were just carried off on stretchers. It felt like I was watching MASH, you know? It was like, it was rough. You don't see a lot of rich people's sons going into that line of work. Well, Bill Lambier on the Bad Boy Pistons came from privilege, but then Isaiah Thomas, he's the general, and he came from the worst fucking part of Chicago. Yeah. But that's kind of an interesting blend, you know? Yeah, I mean, I could see how they could compete in some sports, but in combat sports, the people that come from nothing have like an extra gear. They just have an extra gear. What about a guy like Kimbo Slice though who's like really from nothing? Well, also just a talented boxer. Kim'Slice was a very, he had very good hands.

Yeah. Like if you watch those videos of him out in the back parking areas where they would fight on like parking lots and backyards and like dodging satellite dishes and shit. You ever see those videos? I've seen some of his stuff. He's terrifying. He's a good boxer and he was boxing people that were not good boxers Right, they just they just did not know how you know They were tough guys, but they weren't at his level and he would just have these bare-knuckle backyard fights Yeah, and the nicest fucking guy too. Yeah, that's the thing about Kimbo Rest in peace. He was the nicest guy like super sweet guy

Like very friendly to everybody took pictures of their buddies like not like a thug Yeah, just really tough guy and so tough that he even entered into the ultimate fighter Like he really didn't have a backyard. I mean he really didn't have a background rather in grappling It wasn't really a grappler and I had to gonna learn that right I mean had to yeah He got beat up by a big country Roy Nelson Just took him down and got on top of him just kept punching him in the head He couldn't do anything about it put him in a crucifix and just didn't know how to grapple which is like so unfair Like to just if bare-knuckle boxing was around like it is now and Kimbo was around Kimbo would have been one of the best at bare knuckle boxing

He would have been that was because that was like really where skill set is with his hands and his toughness Really wasn't a kicker. He really wasn't a grappler. He had to learn all that stuff that didn't come natural to him I mean, it's really like just being around at the right time if you're just a boxer versus now It's like it's like being a silent film star and then now they're talking. Now they're kicking. Now they're grappling. Now they're doing everything. You have to adapt. But those fights that he was having weren't like, they were just backyard fights. They weren't organized in a sense of there was no like, you know, athletic commission involved or anything like that. So once he started fighting like he wanted to fight in like the UFC,

he fought for a while in Elite XC and he fought some some good fighters over there and then came over to the UFC and did the ultimate fighter. It's like a very ballsy thing to do. Yeah. You know, to try to learn grappling and you know and fight in front of the world. Yeah. It was really, it did not have that much grappling. And that's such a giant disadvantage amongst like those giant dudes in his division. There were, these guys are so big. These guys are just taking each other down and beating the shit out of you. Well, it's like that guy who boxed against Jake Paul, one of the first guys who was a

wrestler. The guy was a really good wrestler. Um, Ben Ascrin? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's just a different thing. Well, yeah, Ben, I think Ben just took a payday. Yeah. I think he just gave it a go for the money.

Yeah. You know, let's see. He's not, he's an amazing wrestler, but he's not really known for being a striker. That must be so fucking annoying to be amazing at one thing, then you have to Yeah, thing that you suck at it's a sun with some guys pick it up really quick There's some athletes for whatever reason They're just really good at learning new skills like really good at learning how to kick really good at learning how to punch They some wrestlers like bow nickel picked it up really quick. Like in a couple of years, he looked really good on his feet, like dangerous. But then there's some that for whatever reason, like maybe their style of grappling

was more controlled base and less dynamic and not as explosive and like changing from move to move because some guys just have like a slow pressure wrestling game. And those guys just can never get the punches flowing. Everything's just all bunched up, you know? They're just so used to like grabbing and squeezing things that the idea of being like loose and punching, it doesn't make sense to them. It doesn't work with their body.

You have to retrain your body. Yeah, so when I see a guy lunging, I'm like, oh, it's like when you see a baseball player reaching, you're like, that's not, hey, not that I know how to fucking throw a punch, but you know. It's a dangerous game to not be good at. It's the most dangerous game to not be good at. Yeah.

If you want to learn how to do it, you got to really, before you start competing, you better really know how to do everything. At this stage of the game, there's just too many people that can shut down one aspect of your game. You know, if you don't have a ground game, they're gonna figure you out and they're gonna take you down. They're strung you. And if you don't have a stand-up game, they're gonna keep it in the feet and beat the shit out of you.

They're gonna figure it out. You can't have any holes in your game at all. You gotta be like Mighty Mouse. Yeah, you can't be one-dimensional. Yeah. You gotta be able to do everything. It's like comedy now. You gotta do everything. You can't just do stand-up. You can't be one-dimensional. Yeah. You gotta be able to do everything. It's like comedy now. You gotta do everything. Yeah. You can't just do stand-up. You can't just podcast.

You can't just try to do movies. You really have to do other shit. You probably should, just so you don't want to be confined to one thing that you do if you have options. Yeah. It's just more fun to do different stuff. It's more fun to do extra stuff. It's good to challenge yourself, too. Yeah. It's just fun. It just makes it more interesting to do different stuff. It's more fun to do extra stuff. It's good to challenge yourself too. Yeah. It's just fun. It just makes it more interesting to do different things. I mean, it's like walking a different route home every day. Okay, I've walked this way home. Let's see what this route does for me.

You know, it's just better for your brain, I think. It's definitely better for your brain. I think it's just, as a comic, like you could just get too locked into just doing stand up all the time. You know? That could kind of fuck you. I'm realizing I do it too much and I'm like, in terms of the road and it burns you out.

You run out of shit to talk about. Yeah. Because it's been, you know, you work so hard to get to a place where you're always working and then you get there and you're like, oh, I gotta live a life. Yeah. I have to have shit to talk about.

Otherwise you start faking it. Yeah. You start faking what you're interested in. You start pretending. You start talking about things you think they'll be interested in. Yeah. You don't know what the fuck is going on in the world

anymore, you've just been doing hotel to hotel, club to club. Yeah. Kind of losing your mind. I ran into Chris Rock on the street once and I told him I was like, I finally took my first vacation ever and he goes, oh man, good for you.

He's like, gotta take a vacation. Even LeBron has an off season. Wise words. Very wise words. I mean, you burn yourself out. Anyone, when you reach that level of a guy like Chris Rock, they just know what it takes. You know, it's like, yeah, you don't burn yourself out.

I mean, he's got a different, he's got a different, he's like, I'll do a movie in this time to not burn out. He's got a different career, but you know, he's got wisdom. Yeah, and that's also another very cool thing that you could still do something creatively that's different than that.

You can direct something if you wanted to. I want to do other stuff. Stand-ups always number one, and I think thank God for stand-up, because sometimes I try to make a show now, and the amount of fucking emails back and forth, the amount of meetings, this, that, and I'm like, man, if this was all I had, I'd fucking put a bullet in my head, honestly. I really would, because the amount of people that are like, oh, they're on vacation, there's a Jewish holiday. I'm like, I'm Jewish. I the amount of people that are like, oh, they're on vacation, there's a Jewish holiday.

I'm like, I'm Jewish, I've never heard of that holiday. That's not a holiday. I don't know what the hell you're talking about. You know, and then like, they only got MLK day, then, then Valentine, you shut down for Valentine's Day? Oh my God. There's always something. That's hilarious.

So, you know, thank God for stand up. It's like, it's always there. Yeah. Wow. It's like, it's always there. Yeah. Well... Just like, what a fucking weird time it is today. What a weird time it is to tell jokes.

Just in the culture right now? Yeah, it's just such a, it's just a strange fucking time. You know, it's a strange time to be doing stand-up. It's always a strange time to be doing stand-up. I mean, I think during the Crusades, it was weird to be funny. I think it's always a weird time.

It was probably so dangerous. I think it's always a bad time to be, you know, but man, is it, people really need it right now. It's great, I love it. I love that cities will surprise you. That's my favorite thing. Like, I never go in, like I've gone in judging a city

because I've had a bad time there and I'm like, let's give it another shot. But I never prejudge, like, and then you find like little golden nuggets. Like, I was at the Omaha Funny Bone a couple weeks ago. I fucking love that club. There's a lot of great clubs in this country. So many great clubs and the repetition is necessary.

That's the fucking beauty of this still, is like, I think I've cracked a story, and then I'm like, oh, that wasn't the ending. You just find it out on stage sometimes, you know, so. And you tighten things up sometimes. You just like take a chunk out, and they're like, oh, this is way better this way. Yeah, sometimes your ego keeps a chunk in. And you're like, this is for me.

And you realize like, that's also, we're the only type of entertainment where like, the crowd is really part of the editing process. And you're like, this is for me. And you realize like, that's also, we're the only type of entertainment where like, the crowd is really part of the editing process. Scorsese's not, you know, workshopping his shit in Omaha. You know, like, we're taking our shit all over the country to make sure this works.

Yeah, exactly. It's really interesting in that way. Like, music is not made that way. No. It's really the only art form that's made that way. And you know, it's really interesting that so many people love it But there's no real formal study of it by anybody that knows how to do it But it's getting there kind of I think all the studies are so boring if you read like Simon Critchley

I think it's on humor. You're like, I'm so bored Talk about humor like yeah, dude. It's about tension release. No shit It's fucking boring when you read when you read people dissecting comedy Like it can get boring. It's not just about tension release though Oh, it's so much more there's a thing going on when someone's killing and I liken it to a massive Gnosis, you know, like if someone like Joey Diaz is on stage and he's crushing like you're under a spell Right, you're under a spell. You're in his mind a rhythm too he's crushing like you're under a spell right you're under a spell you're in his mind a rhythm too It's like you're low yeah

Yeah, I mean that's the cool thing about comics is guys like Nate Bargazzi or something like that with the jokes like he has a rhythm That's so unique you're like yeah, I'm just like I'm just under his under his spell. Yes. Yeah, it's cool It's kind of like a hypnosis. It really is. Yeah. And then we're just trying to piece it together in the most digestible way possible. The way that has the best impact. Make sure you scour all the corners. Make sure you cover all the angles. Clear the room.

Yeah. It's great, man. It's a great time. And the road is, people really fucking, like we are in a boom. I mean, you started this, it wasn't like this, right? When I started, stand up? No, no, nothing like this.

No, no, this is the craziest comedy boom ever because of YouTube. Because of YouTube for podcasts, YouTube for comedy specials, and then for Netflix. Netflix, it made it a boom too. There's like so many people that can travel now. It used to be like there wasn't that many people that did theaters.

You know, when I was coming up, nobody did theaters. I saw Rich Jenny when he was at his prime, when he was on HB, I saw him in a comedy club. Damn. At his prime. He was a funny dude. Oh my God, he was amazing dude. He was amazing.

Underappreciated. Super underappreciated. I sing his praises all the time. I was coming home once from the Irvine impromptv and my Bluetooth just randomly went to Richard Jenny bit. Just, you know, like randomly, sometime I would go to a song. It just went to Richard Jenny

because it was on my iTunes thing. And I went, God damn, I forgot how good this was. It was this bit about how he's a fence sitter. It was this bit about like shitting on all of the liberals and then shitting on all the Republicans and then shitting on himself. I'm like, God damn, he was good. And so then I listened, I ordered the whole album on iTunes and I listened to the whole thing on the way home. It's so cool. It's like it's incredible.

By the way, I love when it's on shuffle and you hear like, whole thing on the way home. It's so cool. It's like it's an incredible album. By the way, I love when it's on shuffle and you hear like it goes from like a Tom Waits song to like Nick DePaolo and you're like, that was fucking, that was a big right turn right there, holy shit. I think it's a steaming pile of me. I think that's the one that I downloaded. That's what, that was fucking, he was good. He was excellent and I think it's important to make fun of both sides and that's I I

Makes me sad to see people get mad at John Stewart right now for for shitting on both sides I think it's he's a comedian first and I think it's cool to when you go to the clubs They don't know exactly what you're gonna say Yeah, if you're gonna have John Stewart back in the Daily Show and Biden is making up words. He's gonna bring it up He's not he's not gonna just only fucking simp for the Democrats. He's gonna say some funny shit about anything that happens to Democrats too. It's funny. It's part of what the show used to be.

It's weird that there's like a social responsibility people attribute to comedians when it's like, most of us got good at this by cursing at strangers in a bar. Yeah. I mean, we all have our political opinions, which is fine, but it's like what John's capable of is delivering the news in a very funny way. He's the best at it. He's the best at that role of being like the guy that's doing the satire of the news, you know, just breaking down everything that's wrong and fucking stupid in the world

He he is the peak and it's interesting because he is like the animal house He's like national impunes animal house of he's like the bar and then a lot then everyone tries to copy animal house Right, and you end up with a lot of like for keys Van Wilder to the rise of Taj. You're like, all right. This isn't as good Stewart like if you actually look at his standup, like it's like any form of entertainment. To break these rules, you have to know the rules.

And Stewart is a great standup. Yeah, he's a very funny guy. He had jokes I remember, like I remember he had a joke back in the day, it was about like how Jews and black people were similar, cause you know, Jews, you know, black people, we have the blues and Jews, we just complain all the time. We just never thought to put it to music.

And I'm like, that's the type of observation. That's like unifying. That's like bringing a room together. I love that. That's a very funny bit too. Yeah, he had a great special in the 90s called Unleavened. I remember it. It was on Comedy Central all the time.

Yeah, so he's back like on the Daily Show sometimes, is that what it is? Mondays. Mondays. He was like, I'll give you one day. That's a good move for him. Yeah, why do it? I guess that he had a deal with Apple

and I don't know if they're saying the specifics of why they canceled the show, but it was something akin to They didn't want him to say anything that would get them in trouble Something along those lines. I don't think it's maybe about China and they're like, hey, we make a lot of shit over there Yeah, here it is Apple John Stewart says Apple TV canceled his show because they didn't want me to say things that might get me in trouble

Damn because they didn't want me to say things that might get me in trouble. Okay. Damn. Boy, kids, what kind of world are we talking about? And by the way, that's like, that's like what comics, that's what gets us excited, the idea that this could get me in trouble. Like that, that's everything. Also Apple, by the way, you distribute all the apps that do all the trouble. And you take a percentage too. That's getting everybody in trouble.

You take a percentage of their profits. All of the place. You don't want John Stuart to say something that might get him in trouble. Why don't you let him decide for himself? What's great about John Stuart too is like there's so many comics who are like, and I have no issue with this, but speak like recklessly. And John is so careful with his words, and so skilled at it.

Yeah. I wanted a place to unload thoughts as we get into this election season, Stuart said. I thought I was going to do it. Over at, they call Apple TV Plus, it's a television enclave, very small, it's like living in Malibu, but they decided, they felt that they didn't want me to

Say things that might get me in trouble Okay Don't know what that means. You know that could mean a lot of things very coded. I think it's talking about You know, I think China maybe yeah, I think there was a stuff like that something about that Yeah, Apple did like Apple obviously works with China. That's the report. What was the subject? The article says that.

It says China? Maybe it's something. AI and China. Okay, Times reported that the duo had disagreements over topics that were to be covered in the third season, including AI and China. Wow, they had a disagreement about AI and China. These people, what are they doing? Members of the US House of Representatives,

later questions, Apple CEO Tim Cook about whether the tech giant's decision to cancel Stuart's show is because the host may have been planning an upcoming episode about China. He says, while companies have the right to determine what content is appropriate for their streaming service, the coercive tactics of a foreign power should not be directly or indirectly influencing those determinations. The leaders of the House of Representatives Select Committee on Competition with the Chinese

Communist Party wrote in a letter to Cook, holy shit. While Stewart did not mention the rumors about Apple's alleged worry over an episode about China. He did say the tech giant did want me to say things that might get me in trouble. As for his Daily Show return, he said he hopes to provide a catharsis to viewers this election season and a way to comment on things and a way to express them that hopefully people will enjoy. So far. That sounds like China said, don't fucking put that shit on.

That's what I got out of that. What did you get out of that? Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's like that Seth Rogen movie. Yeah. About the North Korea, yeah. Is that one that's still available? Can you get that?

I think so. Remember when there was like tension, like are we gonna get nuked over a Seth Rogen movie? I remember watching that going, like do you know how dangerous those people are? Do you know, you want North Koreans mad at you for he-he's and ha-has? Yeah.

Really? Yeah. And then they hacked the servers, right? Isn't that how that happened? Is that what happened? They hacked the servers? Was that Sony, right? Yeah, and then a bunch of shit got found out

Yeah, and emails Was that definitely them? I was trying to remember I thought it could just be cyber criminals I think it was the I don't I don't it might have been a coincidence and it could be cyber criminals Who decided to attack based on that? Oh, no, no, no according to the wiki. It says can I just dream? on that. Oh no. No, no, no. According to the Wiki it says, can I just dream? That year.

It was the Guardians of the Peace, a cyber crime group allegedly connected to the North Korean government. Okay, it is connected, huh? Guardians of Peace, what a great name. That sounds like a government bill. Guardians of Peace sounds like a new bill they would push for the House. Man, remember when the Senate did, they did a hearing on, it was like during Katrina,

I think they did like one day on Katrina and nine days on steroids and baseball. Cause they just wanted, it was like cause you just wanna meet Raphael Palmero, remember? They're like, oh we're big fans. Oh my God, that's hilarious. I mean, the shit that they get concerned with is so crazy.

Yeah, but you don't want to go full communist. You don't want to say like, the news shouldn't be able to make money. You know, they should be able to make money. They should be able to make money, but the second you combine news and entertainment. Yeah, it gets real squirrelly. It's a dangerous, mucky area.

It gets real squirrelly. Because entertainment is not news. It's not news at all. The news is supposed to be boring. Boring as shit. You're supposed to be like, why am I watching? And now we have it in a way where like, you watch 12 straight out of the news,

that's a fucking problem. Well, what's my favorite is the in-between story banter. That is the most uncomfortable, hurried, kind of weird fake talk that exists in all of television. It doesn't exist anywhere else on earth right now in mainstream entertainment. And the banter between the anchor and like the weather lady

as they're throwing back and forth to each other then this guy. Oh dude. It is the fakest. Well that seems like, I don't know what to say about that. I still do morning news just to ruin the segments. That's the only reason I go on. I do it all the time.

You did a good one in Columbus. Do you see that one? Yeah, it's in front. I definitely saw it. What did you do? I can send it to you. It's pretty funny. I'll find it.

Yeah, I think I have it here. It's probably on my Instagram or something. It's, I just kept making up that they had a human trafficking problem in Columbus and the guy lost it on me. Cause I'll only do those new segments if they're live. Cause there's no point in doing a tape one. They'll just edit out whatever horrible thing I do.

But you know, sometimes you get someone really cool and you'll just riff with them and be silly. But this dude I could tell, I'll like, I'll throw like a jab to see if it bothers them. And if I can sense it bothers them, I'll go like a hundred miles an if it bothers them. And if I can sense it bothers them, I'll go like 100 miles an hour and just derail the segment. I remember I have a publicist Pam who hates me.

I just am like, I don't care about Morning Radio. Just book me on morning shows. And she's like, they're on to you. They know you're gonna ruin the segment. But Pam, she gets so mad at me. Do you ever go on one and the people are cool and you don't ruin the segment? Yeah, totally.

But they usually end up, sometimes they think it's funny, but other times- Yeah, I did one- we were on a tour bus last year and I pretended my opener Gary Veter overdosed on cocaine on the bus and they were so mad at me and and she called me like, you're banned from Good Morning Durham, and I was like, I'll live. But from Good Morning Durham and I was like, I'll live. But, we've done a lot where I just, I poke and I see what I can get away with. How many people are watching those shows? Not a lot, but when I share them, they do pretty well

because they're weird to watch me do something bad. Yeah. I can text it to you. I think I have it on my phone somewhere. I'm trying to find it. Oh yeah. No people under 60 are watching that, right? Am I correct?

Probably not. I mean, sometimes when I'm in a hotel, I have it on the background just for background noise when I'm bored on the road. Right. But yeah, I don't, it's almost like, I want to watch the news, but I don't want to think. Yeah.

Which, you know, I'm not gonna watch BBC, I'm gonna watch the news, but I don't want to think. Yeah. Which, you know, if I'm not, I'm not going to watch like BBC. I'm going to watch Pittsburgh Today Live. Local men eaten by alligator. That was the first one. Pittsburgh, actually. I pretended I was molested on air. And, because she just kept asking the dumbest questions, and she goes, when did you catch the funny bug?

And I said, well, my uncle molested me and he was funny and I caught it like Spider-Man. And they just stared at me like, oh, is it? Yeah, that's it. No, that's Springfield. I know him all, that's a guy. This joke on Instagram less than 24 hours ago. Talk about what people can expect.

I mean, have you been to Columbus before or is this the first time for you? No, I've been. I've been. I love Columbus. Great city. Big fan of despite all the human trafficking going on there, I still find a lot of fun.

Great city, nonetheless. You've got your class. I could tell he doesn't want it. So this is where I poke. This Friday, October 27th, tell us what we can expect with that. I'm going to talk about the traffic and epidemic in Columbus, Ohio. by poke. Like that! Like that!

This is the best part, because he snaps here. We'll look forward to seeing you. Thanks Sam. Thank you guys, thanks for having me. Alright, have a good one. I don't get, I don't know, I think he would, you know, I know he's kind of edgy and funny. I didn't get the human trafficking thing because it really wasn't funny the first time and then he kept doing it two and three and four times. And I tried to ask him, you saw her try to ask him is this a joke? Are you trying to be funny? What are you trying to do?

Wait, I was just trying to explain the audience saw the same thing too Okay, we'll go to break Yeah, that was it. He really lost it That's the only way they're worth doing to me though is if it's like insanely uncomfortable It makes you think

even just the way you do one of those shows. Like, those people aren't real friends, you know? Like, you're trying to make- Some of them are good. Some of them are good together. Well, Good Morning America, those two that were fucking, they were real friends. Yeah, they were great. And they were great at their job.

That's why they were good together. They shouldn't have been fired. Why were they fired? For fucking. They- well, here's what happened. She just fucked him. He was fucking everybody there, so I think they were like, well if we fire him.

I mean, yeah, we got it. But they were good. I did their show once and I didn't, I was just, it was just a regular interview because they were fun. Well they should do a podcast together. They do a podcast? There you go.

Yeah. Yeah, you don't want a boss, especially in those kind of environments. It's just too restrictive. And it makes me think if you look at that guy, no offense to that guy that you were just talking to, but I couldn't imagine some sort of an audition process that yielded such results. Yeah. Like this is the best you guys have to function.

It's a big city, Columbus. Tell the news. Big city with a lot of human trafficking. It's, yeah. She almost backed you up on that. Yeah. She did. She's like, there's a lot of human trafficking. It's, yeah. She almost backed you up on that. She did. She did. There's a lot of reports.

A lot of reports. I don't think it's a funny rumor to make up to be like you have a human trafficking problem. And I had no research to back that up, but if you're, you have Columbus pride, it bothers you. There are stories, there are stories. There's also, you're doing it on Zoom, which is extra frustrating,

because like you're not even in the room So they can't even go what the fuck you do like, you know You're so disconnected. They have to be very obvious when they're talking to you But I've done it where I was bad and it wasn't live and they just edit it out. I'm like god damn it You know gotta get the live ones, but it's hard to ask for live I say no you're gonna do something so you see my predicament. I'm like I want live and they're like what's he gonna do well I think the gig is up. We'll see I got I got one in I got one coming up. We'll see if they unbook me Maybe they'll be prepared and then just let you fuck with they have done that before and they were you know

I did one pre-recorded from New York one When I was promoting MSG theater, I did that one and they were mad I didn't do it. But it was pre-recorded and they were like, yeah, they told my friend they were like, yeah, he just behaved, it was really a bummer. I was like, well, now I gotta be bad. Because you knew it was pre-recorded? So you're like, ah.

Yeah, I was just gonna add an energy. I was like, what's the point? Deflated, they're playing dirty. Pre-recorded with you is playing dirty. It is, playing dirty too though but you are but that's the game we play yeah play it's just fun show when you're used to do DJ dad yes TJ Miller was another one who would do crazy shit on there and I was like I love that. So, Gero was the king of it. He came out as non-binary on a morning show. Just fucking total deadpan with a gold chain on and sunglasses. His energy is perfect for it too.

He's got that calming energy too. Just the name DJ Dadmouth. What the fuck? Oh my god, that's so funny. It's so fucking stupid. Yeah. It's fun. But you're right, you kind of killed a lot of those types of shows with your show,

because it's like, would you rather see them on, you know, good morning, whatever, for four minutes or on your show for three hours? They'd rather see this. Yeah, but it's also just those that format sucks. It's a bad format. I do. I still like the idea of a live interview. I still think that's really fun. Live interviews are fun.

I, you know, but yeah, I mean, this, you doing three hours is like, you know, it's it would change that I think I Was just lazy. I didn't want to edit anything Ari used to tell me you got to edit your show. There was this number one complaint Tell you listen to me you got to edit your show And I was like why like no one's gonna listen all that then they don't have to listen Yeah, I was like then don't listen just I don't care if you stop halfway in. Listen to as much as you want.

Well, you went against what a lot of people say is about the entertainment rule, like keep them wanting more. You're just like, nope, this is the show. It's also this idea that everybody has a short attention span. That's just not true. That's horseshit.

People, even people with short attention spans, get into things. Like there might be some subject that someone's talking about that lights your interest, lights your curiosity, and then you get locked into it. And where you would never spend three hours ordinarily listening to some guy talk about Egypt, some, you know, Graham Hancock type character talking about the people that constructed these things in Turkey and Chile. You would never do that, right?

In the normal world. But you could get locked into some, a conversation and if it's a three hour conversation, like you come out of that much more energized with whatever that subject is. It's not only is that true, but also I think the fact that people can listen to stuff while they're like cleaning the house and stuff.

100%. I mean, you can't do that with a movie, right? The thing is that the number one attractor is always going to be like the TikTok and the Instagram Reels. Those are the ones that- Suck you in. They suck you in.

They work with the human mind. It drives me crazy. Do you get addicted to it? They're so effective. I mean the food ones from the fucking ruin my day. Oh those are good. It's just some fucking asshole in his car eating like a sandwich. I'm just watching a dude eat a sandwich. Yeah. You break it down. He goes this is so sad. That I'm watching. It is sexy. And he rates the sandwich. I'm like good enough for me. And then they send me 40 more. Everyone's a food critic now. That's fine.

Yeah. It's fine. I mean, people will find their way. They find their way. Yeah, but it's just the addictive nature of the world. I'm more mad at myself, honestly. I'm more mad that that's my four-year page. The food thing algorithm.

Yeah, I'm more... It's mostly food. Well, I don't think you have to worry. Someone slicing a tomahawk steak, someone eating a sandwich. Those are good things. I love themawk steak, someone eating a sandwich. Those are good things. I love them. Yeah, those are good things.

I find a lot, Gary Veter tours with me and he just sends me food. Whenever on the road he's like, we're eating here, I'm like, he's more high maintenance than any woman I've ever dated. He's like, you're taking me here, it's five stars, you better fucking pay up, bitch. That's hilarious.

That is a nice thing if you go to good cities, right? You can always get a nice restaurant. Every city's got a nice restaurant. I mean people don't fuck around in the Netherlands in between realms If you don't go, you know too far It's weird though what cities now like every city has this crazy food culture now Yep, no matter where you are. I think the internet is partly to blame for that too. There's so many YouTube sort of like mini documentaries on chefs and mini documentaries on restaurants at their opening.

There's 9,000 episodes of Chopped. Think about how many chefs there are. That's a lot of chefs. What, four chefs per episode? Well, you gotta give credit to TV, right? Like the travel channel and stuff like that because those are the first people that like put cooking out there like an art form. Like with Bourdain's show,

that was the first time I ever considered cooking. I was like, oh, it's an art form, you just eat it. It's like, I thought of it as just cooking as like like a carpentry or something like that. You know what I mean? And I related to it as a comic, just a guy like wandering and being like, oh, let me make the most of Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Yeah. Like instead of eating this vending machine, let me try to find a cool diner or something. Right, right, right. So those are some of the most satisfying places. You find like a cool old place, it's been around forever, you get like steak and eggs there. Nothing gets my dick hard like a box card diner, dude.

I get so excited. We went found one in Buffalo and we ate there. We find a good spot, we eat there three days in a row. I'm obsessed with like just a cool diner. Yeah. There was a place called the Star Diner that I used to eat in, and I think it was in Mount Vernon, New York.

It was so sketchy, this neighborhood. It was so sketchy, but they had cheeseburger deluxe's. And the cheeseburger deluxe had like coleslaw on it Yeah, it was ridiculous coleslaw is underrated on a sandwich and you're Ruben is an underrated sandwich It's 2 30 in the morning. You're hanging out with men who've just failed miserably And everyone's eating these disgusting cheeseburgers at 2 o'clock in the morning There's something so... It feels like a vibe.

That's like a late night waffle house anytime. Oh, there's something. That's a New York vibe too, like those kind of diners. There's something so... There's something about like when you're on the road and you're in a sad place that's like weirdly romantic to me too. Like Gary and I stayed at a residence in an Omaha and it was just U-Haul truck after U-Haul truck of just shit in the parking lot.

I'm like, it's us and 40 divorce men here. There's something so sad about this. Yep. But. Get out. Yeah, I love a late night diner. Or what's your diner order when you go? Well, it depends on if I'm drunk. If I'm drunk, I might go off the rails.

But most of the time I'm pretty disciplined. Most of the time I'm just eating whatever healthy options they have, like meat or eggs or something like that. Yeah. You know, most of the time. Eggs is, I mean, the obvious move, but if a tuna melt at a diner can be so clutch.

Ooh, those are so nice. They're so good. Such a nice invention. How about a tuna patty melt? Yeah. Or like a Suvlaki. Oh, Suvl nice. They're so good. Such a nice invention. How about a tuna patty melt? Yeah. Or like a Suvlaki. Oh, Suvlaki. Love a Suvlaki.

Yeah. A Euro, dude. A late night Euro. Look at you pronouncing it correctly. Yeah, I know a lot of Greek people. If it's done. Yeah, I don't pronounce it correctly. I know how to pronounce it, but I just forget.

If it's done the right way with the best bread. Oh. I love it. Yeah, like toasted pita. that toasted pita yeah bro come on with it whoo if I had choose though like one option for late night if something's open that's legit it would be between Mexican and Italian yeah yeah if you know know if someone tells you like there's a place that serves insane lasagna at two in the morning We have to go for me. It's pizza all day. It's like late night pizza. Just so it's so we I mean It's actually good pizza Real good New York pizza you got a good slice just a just a regular

a good slice, just a regular cheese and tomato sauce slice. When it's just perfectly seasoned, it's melting in your mouth, the cheese, you're like, oh my God, this is so good. I watched so much of that guy just randomly, Portnoy, I'm Barstil doing those reviews. Oh, he's the best. I just like, I say how much I hate watching these food things, but I fucking can't, I just like the,

I like how he likes all the same types. I like that flop, the New Haven pizza is my favorite pizza. It's the best pizza in the world apparently Yeah, according to Portnoy. He knows more than I told them I said you should get 10% of all the profits for pizza I bet if you had like a pizza chart between when Portnoy Started doing those reviews to how many people are going and buying pizza now. I bet it's not a small number. I bet he's impacted the pizza world significantly. I'm not bullshitting. He makes me want to buy pizza.

Yeah, you watch it and you... He bites the crust too. It's the fuck... I was like, I'm like, oh, it looks like he's having a good time. We did, when I was in Chicago with Matteo Lane, he did Chicago Theater one night and did the next night. So I just got in early, we hung out, we made pizza, Lumeau Nadi's deep dish,

and they let us in there to just make pizza, and then I was like, all right, now I don't like Chicago pizza that much, it's like, it tastes good, it's just not my style pizza, it's like, it's a pie, it's not pizza. So I was like, all right, we'll see if Arturo's in the village will let, like, this place is Colin Quinn's stamp of approval, which to me like he's the most New York guy I've ever met so if Colin Quinn likes your pizza you're legit and

We made their pizza Arturo's on Houston one of the best pizza spots also the vibe. There's a fucking piano player Just playing in there. It's like it's so New York, dude. Yeah, those places are fantastic I love them and they make good everything. If you could find a good old Italian hole in the wall spot in New York, like, that's one of the cool things about like Mulberry Street. Yes. You know, those places, there's some places down there

that I've been around for ever. Yeah, you'll just Google it and you'll be like, 1909. What the fuck? Are you kidding me? Did you ever talk to Fitzsimmons about when he lived there? Not about that, but yeah, I know Greg, I love Greg. Fitzsimmons lived right above the social club where John Gotti used to go.

Holy shit. Holy shit. How about that John Gotti man? That guy. Fitzsimmons used to live right, I went to his fucking apartment. I mean, he was the reason Sparks is popular. Yes.

Like, that's like, you feel like cool walking and you're like, this is where the guy got shot. Right there. This is where it happened. Right there. It's a good restaurant though too. Fitz Simmons lives right there. The amount of danger we all like

is just to know someone was shot here and they're like, they're not gonna do it again. What are the odds another guy gets whacked here, right? They don't whack each other that often. What year was, what year did Gotti get arrested? He got arrested so many times, didn't he? Was it in the 90s? I'm trying to figure out like when Fitzsimmons was there, was he there while the social club was in operation?

I know the whole family that owned the building was all like, go meets the meets. Like he had deals where he'd give the mother some money. Like, you know, my Frankie doesn't have to know about this. This is my gambling money. And like she would do that money. Like, yeah, like little deals. Like they would pay, he would pay like the different the mother than the father separately December 1990 okay so that kind of that must mean he was already in jail by time Fitzsimmons lived there because I think Greg and I we came to New York in this around the same time and that was like Greg might have been there first too I don't know he was like uh he was like, Greg might've been there first too. I don't know.

He was like the media darling. It's so weird to be a murderer and you're like on the cover of the post with a pun. You know, just like this guy's fun, you know? Cause he kept getting off, right? How many times did he get off? Yeah, they called him Jeff Laundan. Jeff Laundan.

Yeah. That was weird times. Like you know who the mob boss is, and he's wearing a nice suit, and he's walking around in front of everybody. It's weird. Fuck. It's really weird to be a mob celebrity.

Yeah. And then people take, like, if he was around now, you'd be like, selfie. But you know what it's like? It's like, you're in a race, but your car's not quite strong enough to do that. And then the federal government shuts the race down. Yeah. Whereas if you're in Mexico, you can actually do that.

You're in Mexico and you're a cartel leader. You are a cartel. You're the guy. You would like, that's legit. No one's putting you in jail. But it's weird to be able to do that in New York. Yeah, very weird. But it was also a different time, right?

You know, it was a different time. We glamorize that shit that we all do. Cause mob movies are the best movies. I mean, like, you got Godfather, Goodfellas. You got Supranos. Supranos are the best shows of all time. Probably my number one, honestly. God is good.

God damn it's good. I rewatched an episode the other day. I'm like, God. It might be one of the funniest shows ever too. That's how good it is. It's a fucking show. There's a line in that show where, like, you know, Meadow's being a spoiled brat and they're like, we're gonna ground you, you can't do this.

And she just runs away and Carmella's like, what are they gonna, what are we doing? We realize that we have no power. It's like such an honest, funny line. I mean, Tony, fuck, and Gandalfini, we were like robbed of so many more good Gandalfini projects. God, he was good. It's the fucking best. We were like robbed of so many more good Gandolfini projects. God, he was good. He was so good. He became that guy. He did a lot of different characters in different movies. He was really good at being a creep.

Wasn't he in... What was that? True romance? True romance. So scary. That's right. Holy shit. That movie holds up, by the way. I just watched it again recently.

It's fucking great. Dennis Hopper, dude. And Walken. That recently. It's fucking great. Dennis Hopper, dude. And Walk-In. That scene is fucking insane. Oh my god. That's some classic Tarantino 90s dialogue right there. That's some good shit. Oh my god.

True romance. This is one of the more violent scenes I've ever seen in a movie. I got this in Las Vegas. The better. Yeah, let's not watch it. But dude, he's in like Get Shorty. Yep. He's in so many fucking movies.

But when he became Tony Soprano, he like was that guy. Yeah. It's like to have an actor that good playing a mob boss to the point where you are sympathetic. You're rooting for this murderer. Yeah. Yeah. You're rooting for Tony Sopral. They humanized him. I mean, when you show him at like a cookout, you're like, I go to cookouts.

Yeah. You know, I do. I mean, they made him human. And he was just following the rules of his game. That's the game that he did. And he was the best at it. They didn't have high enough horsepower. But again, if he was El Chap at it. They didn't have high enough horsepower. But again, if he was El Chapo, I guess they got him too.

But we got him. And his wife too, right? Who got, who, like, who took over? Like, that guy doesn't have a name. I don't know. That's a good move. If you're going to be a cartel guy, tell everybody. Reservation night for the cartel guy.

You don't know his name. You want to be John Doe. Yeah. And you want everybody to shut the fuck up. You don't want anybody you're running a cartel, sir But they would remind you that he was a monster every once in a while like I mean kills his fucking own guy He's he's a monster who killed the wrong guy Tony kills. Yeah, Christopher. Oh, yeah Yeah, they'd hit you with reminders everyone. I mean the show was so fun They'd have to hit you with like the brutal reminders of, you know, Phil Leotardo, sodomizing a gay character. It's like, they'd have to hit you with that

because you'd be like, oh, this is funny. And then you hit that, you'd be like, Jesus. Yeah. There was a lot of Jesus moments in that show. What's really funny is if you watch the first episode of the show, it was almost like satire. Yeah. You ever watched it? Incredible pilot. It was very funny, though it was almost like satire. Did you ever watch her?

Incredible pilot. It was very funny, though. It was like a comedy. The way... The car chase thing? When she's got the machine gun, because she was outside with the machine gun. I think she thought her kid was sneaking out of the house or something. Was that Carmella?

Yes. Ever? Something happened and she was outside with an AK-47 like what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, what is this show? Yeah, but she became much more like normal Yeah, like she wasn't like that like it was almost like they were doing like a network sitcommy Version of mobsters. They went yeah, it was cool to see the show grow But damn is like the first season even goes. It's like him versus his uncle, uncle Junior. I mean, that was a fucking great storyline.

Great storyline. There's so many great storylines. I mean, it's just a fucking phenomenal show, man. Yeah. Phenomenal. David Chase, I mean, he created, I think he used to write for like Rockford Files too. It's like interesting career. I've seen him out that show.

Even that whole opening montage with the sound the woke up this morning Got yourself a gun. Yeah Fuck was like you got so pumped for every episode. Yeah, you're sopranos is on So it's tough that that was like there's so many great shows. It's tough to touch, you know I mean that was really like a golden age in TV It was like the 60s 70s was a golden age in Hollywood, you know, where like you get like all those fucking

old movies of like, you know, Bonnie and Clyde starting this off, The Graduate, Chinatown, Godfather, Taxi Driver, like all these insane apocalypse now, you know? Yeah. Comedy movies took the biggest hit. Recently, man. We took the biggest hit. Recently, man. We took the biggest hit.

Isn't it crazy? Everybody loves them, but now you have to re-watch old ones so people don't get offended. I think it'll come back at some point. Cause I was watching the hangover on TV the other day and I was like, people are gonna be hungry for this shit.

Well, what's hilarious is the Daily Wire tried to do something, right? They did something, right? They made a movie, right? They made a movie about transgender athletes and a bunch of men who decided they're going to compete as women. And then after that, there's a new thing that's been happening in Canada where they've got this, these two teams are playing against each other.

And there's five biological males that are identifying as females and dominating this volleyball game. And the biological females, all of them are sitting on deck. Why these five men... They don't know why they're riding the bench. ...are crushing it. Yeah. There's five crushing it. Yeah. There's five of them.

Like this is in Canada. Like that is so insane. You know the thing is about those movies, I saw the trailer for the Daily Wire thing, I didn't see it, but the thing about those movies is, and I didn't see this one, you gotta remember if you're going that irreverent to have the heart of like a Fairly Brothers movie.

Right. Cause like something about Mary is a great movie because like you forget he's stalking this woman cause he's so likable. He's stalking Mary. He hires a guy to stalk her but in the first scene she's got a mentally challenged brother and he gets his ass kicked, a protectant and you're like he's a good guy. So I think go for the fucking jugular but make sure that you love the characters. Yeah, and also there's not a lot of really good

like How many people are really good at making those kind of movies? You know, there's a few people that like I still have to serious movies, right? You know, so he was like one of the last ones making like big hits But if you if that genre dries up like that used to be a giant genre like it bombs me out Dude, I love comedy moves, but you're right like what do I watch I watch fucking back to school I watch like right. Yeah. Have you seen back to school recently? I haven't dude It's every line every character there is just there to set up danger field, you know my favorite part is

kinnison scene it's one of the best scenes dude pull that up pull that up we just fucking right in a certain Roddy Dagefield of the class earth is fucking a mate turning started from the beginning really seems to care I love him so I remember Whitney is making something about Dangerfield and I was leaving her podcast with her once and she was like, do you want to talk to, she knows I love him. So she's like, do you want to talk to his wife on the phone? I was like, yeah. So we call her and she's like the nicest woman.

She's just like, you know, she's like, I loved him so much. Like imagine getting to wake up to someone that funny every day. Like it just made me so happy. That's awesome. And he goes, you want to hear Rodney joke that no one's ever heard? I was like, yeah. When he went in for some kind of surgery, he was worried he was going to die. He's like, if I can't be funny, it's like, what's the point? He goes in and when they wake him up, he goes, Rodney, did you call for anything up?

He goes, yeah, 500 last week to a whore. Everyone laughs, you're like, oh, he's okay. Right when he wakes up. Yeah. Wow. Never, I mean, never not funny, so fucking. You even see episodes, it's funny where he's on like Howard Stern and Stern's trying to like get him

to open up and he just keeps doing like one line. He's so funny, he's like, so your child is like, oh yeah, don't rough child and I'll tell you. He's like, no, stop with the jokes. I'm trying to connect with you. It's so, he could not be that dude. He was so fucking funny. He was.

He was, we have his handwritten notes for his last tonight show set in the club. Oh my god. If you're in the green room of the club. I can't wait to see the club. Oh, you haven't seen him yet? I haven't been there yet. I tried to come in December,

but I couldn't line it up right now. I was like, club. Oh, yeah, I haven't seen you. I haven't been there yet I tried to I tried to come in December, but I couldn't line it up right now. It's like Well, yeah, if you look on the wall in the green room There's his wife gave us these handwritten notes from his tonight show set Wow, so it's breaking down his material and then breaking down stuff to talk about in the couch Oh my god, dude those old Carson sets where he's just machine gunning jokes. Yeah. Holy shit. Well his story is so interesting too because he quit comedy for a long time and he was selling aluminum siding. Yeah. And I guess he never stopped writing.

Yeah. I guess he kept writing even when he wasn't doing comedy and when he came back he had all this material. And he said that was a famous line. I was the only one who knew I quit to give you an idea how well I was doing right? That's the classic. Yeah but he he came back and is that interesting? I mean dude his movies are like Caddyshack is great. Oh, yeah fucking the one with Pesci Easy money. Yeah, Larry's. Yeah, he had some bangers even meet Wally Sparks I I know it like critics shit on the movie. I love it I love the scene where he walks up to a couple on the dance floor and they're making out.

He's like, you two should go get a room. Then he walks up to a fatter couple. He's like, you two should go get a warehouse. It's like, that's just like killer joke writing. Right. It went that face. He was one of those dudes. His face was always funny.

I love them. Yeah, he's so good. Just pure funny. There's nothing else. I love them. Yeah, he's so good. Just pure funny. There's nothing else. It's just, I'm gonna be fun. And it's like, that's another example. Like, you go, you can say whatever he wants, cause it's like, I'm gonna go help my kid at school.

Like, it's fucking, these are good stories, you know? I mean, Sandler, Billy Madison, it's like, it's going back to school. It was a funny premise to put a silly guy around kids, and he's the most immature one. Yeah. It's just a great, it's a funny premise to put a silly guy around kids and he's the most immature one. Yeah. It's just a great, it's a great premise. Yeah, it really is.

Those movies, Sandler's movies don't get enough respect. By me they do. I love Sandler. But it drives me nuts when people shit on those movies. Because I'm like, what are you expecting this to be? Yeah. Because this is like a classic old timey comedy movie where it's just funny. It's also like kind of, his style of comedy is like, weirdly kind of vulnerable the way how he's that silly.

You fall in your face doing that shit. I mean, I did a bunch of road gigs with him. He's the nicest fucking dude. He's the nicest guy ever. I would be more stressed playing basketball with him than I would doing the nicest fucking dude. He's the nicest guy ever. I would be more stressed playing basketball with him than I would doing the shows with him. Because I'm like, I just don't want to miss an open jump shot on Sandler's team. He plays really good basketball, right?

He's good, yeah. He had hip surgery, but he's still good. Jesus, what do you have done? That was like a year ago, but he can still play. You mean he got a hip replacement? I forgot. Yeah, I think so. But he'll make like the no-look passes fun. It's really he's sick. Oh, wow But uh, it's funny playing on his team you get every fucking call

Like I'm used to playing with people and they're just like I didn't fucking foul you but with Sam's like I must I must have hit you That's hilarious And who are the guys he's playing? He's got a guy Joe Vessie who's really good Joe is joking hoop And then sometimes it's just his circle, but then um, but then sometimes you go to the gym He's just like playing with people at the gym. We had just random. Yeah, that's pretty fucking cool. Yeah, he's the fucking man It's very good, dude. I was zoe hand was on TV the other day. That's a great movie. It's fucking funny dude I was laughing brushing his teeth with hummus. That's fucking hilarious. There was a lot of funny shit in that movie. I watched every Adam Sandler movie with my kids

when we were locked down for the pandemic. That was our thing. We would just watch Sandler movies. They're comforting watches. Yeah, they're fun. They're wholesome. When they were, you know, nervous about what the fuck is going on in the world. Yeah. It's fun, a little entertainment. Yeah. Just disconnect from things. It was nice. You need those, those escape movies.

So it's like, um, so much. Look, I want to watch the Oscar movies too, but some of them are like, all right, we get it. It's fucking like 40 minutes in, nothing's happened. And you're like, can something happen? It is a movie. It's supposed to be entertaining. Do you watch any of those?

Like, I just watched Anatomy of a Fall. I thought that was really good. None of you saw that. What's that? It's a French movie. It's a guy falls, they're in the Alps, I think, and he falls out a window and dies, her husband, and everyone thinks she killed him.

Oh, Jesus Christ. But it's one of those ambiguous movies where you're like, you kind of don't know. It's really well done. I watched American fiction yesterday, I thought that was pretty good. American fiction. With Jeffrey Wright, you know that guy?

No. He's a really good actor. He's almost like black Paul Giamatti. Oh really? Yeah, he's like a great character actor. Yeah, this dude. You've seen him before. Oh, the guy was in the West world.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's really good in West world. Yeah, this is a good movie, it's funny. That guy's been in in the West World. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's really good in West World. Yeah, this is a good movie. It's funny. That guy's been in a bunch of things. Yeah, he's fucking great. He's always great. Yeah, and then the holdovers with Paul Giamatti was really good, if you haven't seen that.

West World was pretty fucking good. I gotta watch it. I've never seen... That was HBO 2, right? Yeah, it got a little violent, and Mrs. Rogan tapped out. And so I got kind of left stranded if she's not into watching so I stopped watching it but I really did love I think the first two seasons and you know as AI moves into our lives that show doesn't seem it seems less and

less weird less and less possible like everything they're talking about doing on that show I'm like maybe someday they just like crazy like everything they're talking about doing on that show. I'm like maybe some day They just like crazy. Maybe someday they're gonna be able to do that It seems pretty I mean everything from how they explained how they created this environment that seemed like it was another planet Yeah, that seemed like it was really the West but it was really just in this domed environment Just even things like the Oculus of the new Apple vision, you're like, what is happening? Bro, we're going to be so fucked in about five to 10 years. It's going to be too late to turn back,

and we're going to be embedded. There's something going to happen where you're going to get an advantage from being connected to a network that you don't get without it that's almost impossible to live without. Like, given someone. You mean like Twitter? Like cell phones. Yeah, for everything. There's people that don't get without it that's almost impossible to live without. Like, given someone- You mean like Twitter? Like cell phones.

Yeah, but everything. There's people that can get by without, I know some people that have deleted Twitter, they've just said, I don't wanna do this anymore. I know some people that have kicked it, but they don't kick cell phones. You can't kick cell phones. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah. Yeah, so if it becomes like at that stage. But if you're addicted, your cell phone has Twitter. I mean, unless you wanna be one of those people who has, you know, like a fucking 1999 Razor now, you know? Well, you can get the, what is that simple phone? I know a lot of people get that. It's like, you can't do anything on it.

It'll store music. I think all it does is like text message and make phone calls. I don't even know if you can do email on it. But that people need email. I know. You're going to carry a second device just for email? Like what if you're involved in some sort of business decision

and you need to be on the fly able to respond to an email? You unplug for like a few hours and you're like, what did I miss? It's a light phone. Oh, light phone. Is that it? I don't know if this is the only one, but this is a thing. Right here. Get rid of clickbait, social media, minimal. Yeah, know if this is the only one, but this is, as I was saying, right here.

Get rid of clickbait, social media, minimal. Yeah, I think this is it. Yep, that's it. No email. It's an experience we all call going light. No email. No internet browser. But it's probably better for you. It definitely, I mean, people who just, I already will do that.

He will just, like, he'll get back to me and be like, sorry, I was in fucking... Thailand. Yeah, I was in Thailand. Yeah, yeah he'll do it but he's got an iPhone too he should shut the fuck up yeah he gave in he gave in you gotta give it it's to good also you miss out on things like if Tom Segur and I almost every day send each other the most horrific accidents, disasters, boulders, crashing, fucking cars that are on mountain roads, like everything fucked up, we send back and forth

to each other. And if I didn't have the ability to click on the link, I'm missing a little bit of joy in my day. And your connection to your friends. Yeah, yeah, your connection to your friends. So that's where the joy, the joy is not in watching people get gored by bowls The joy is that me and my friend have this unspoken agreement to send each other the worst shit we could find every day and and find jokes in that and

That's like, you know when people say like dark jokes and stuff like no you make that's a light joke You took a dark subject and you're finding light jokes about it. Yeah, you're lightening up the situation slightly. But that's the problem is like, you're right. You're disconnected on these phones, but then you're also connected. So it's like now you're, it's kind of a catch-22. Whichever way you do it, you're a little fucked. Yeah, you're fucked. You're gonna miss out on things if you're disconnected and if you're too connected you're gonna be addicted and fucking Losing all your life energy and time and attention to nonsense

Which is what a lot of people are doing all day long. You were just scrolling through nonsense. You just get nonsense in front of your face It's just there's nothing Nourishing about it. Nothing is like exciting your mind. It's just dumb thing after dumb thing after dumb thing after dumb thing and the thing that doesn't do that is podcasts, which is interesting. Because it's like the antidote for that or books on tape. Books on tape are great. It's fantastic. It's a great thing to do.

I do it because the thing about how much we're on the move, it's great for flights, great for like in your car ride, we might get nauseous if you read yeah, but I think about how invasive it's gonna be because there's wheelchairs now They can be driven by neurological impulses, so it's like okay That's your fucking thoughts It's can read your thoughts. Yeah, like how far we I have a lot of bad thoughts Joe. Yeah, I bet you do When you're on this morning show imagine if you can get a message of bad thoughts Joe. Yeah I bet you do. I bet you do when you're on those morning shows. Imagine if you could get a recid for your thoughts. Like because I think some things that I would never do. You got to erase your browser mind thoughts too. Like erase your history. Could you imagine if you could, if you had an impulse to just smash someone in

the face but you were resisting it, you weren't going to do it. Are you a good person if you're resisting it constantly? It depends on who you're talking to. Are you a good person if you're resisting it constantly? It depends on who you're talking to. If you're the asshole all the time, you're constantly getting in fights with people. It might be you. But- We all know that person who's like, this fucking asshole,

like everyone's an asshole in your stories. But there's also times when some people need to be smacked. And there's those, in those moments, like imagine if you could get arrested because you tested positive for a potential aggressive episode. Right? It's like a COVID test, you got two lines.

You're keeping your shit together, but you're imagining, you're imagining just teeing off on this guy, just smashing this dude. He could be a danger. Yeah, like, hey man, you should stop doing it, but if you have that thought, I'm about to smash that guy.

D-D-D-D-D-D, a light goes off, the cops come in and they arrest you. And they arrest you because you had a potentially violent episode. You hit Red Line. You're Red Flay. Sam, this is a serious thing. You went to Red Line. But I didn't do anything. But you might have. Yeah. Or they'll tell you you were going to we know

We have predictive technology Your way is well like oh, yeah that movie minority reports. They look that seemed so impossible Predictive now. It's now. It's like that the world economic forum guy was saying that they won't have to have elections in the future Wow, we will be able to predict with such precision that we don't need elections. Save a lot of money though. Did you see the story? Go around. What?

British man acquitted over London, Spain, flight bomb hoax. He texted and snapchat to his friends on the way to blow up the plane on a member of the Taliban. Then the Spanish... oh my god the Spanish Is it just as the joke said to joke to his friends. It's a good day. I'm a teenager teens were Scrambled to look how close the f-18 is that other jets? Insane he was just acquitted though because the judge was like there's obviously no threat here, but what was curious is how the message was found because snap's supposed to be encrypted and some people think it's because of the

Wi-Fi network at the airport and the airport says that's not how it was. And then the UK authorities said, where was it right here? So is this evidence of some new technology? That, that I mean, as you guys were saying, that's why I brought it up. Do you think that's what they're, what are you interpreting this as? They said that they have... For unknown reasons, it was captured by the security mechanisms of England when the plane was flying over French airspace.

Yo! Wow! Yo, that's crazy! The message was made in a strictly private environment between the accused and his friends with whom, with whom he flew, um, through a private group to which only they have access. So the accused could not even remotely assume that the joke he played on his friends could be intercepted or detected by British services, nor by third party parties other than his friends who received the message.

See that's crazy because because sometimes you'll say wild shit to your friends in a text message for fun. And you're assuming, if I send you an iMessage, you're assuming that that's encrypted. Yeah, I'm gonna stop telling my friends I'm gonna murder my girlfriend. You have to use signal. Gotta be careful.

You have to use signal for that. Today's the day, I'll say that. But I bet if you'd have used signal, I bet they're looking through signal, too. I bet there is a scanning that's being done on all cell phone communication, looking for key target words that they think would be problematic. Well, think about how much of our freedom

we're constantly giving away. I don't, when I fly, I don't want to wait on a long line. So I give them my iris, my fingerprint, all that stuff. Now those lines are longer than the other lines. Right? So I'm like, yeah, if I go to LaGuardia, fucking pre-checking clear are the longest lines now. No shit. Yeah.

So sometimes you just fuck it and you go through the other lines? Yeah, I take my shoes off again. I'm going backward. But then there's going to probably be a new line. You got to give them more, you dip your balls in the fucking thing. You gotta give them the outline of your penis. I got the, I'm like, I gave you my penis. You gotta let me cut. Well, you have to have the update and the chip. Do you have your update? You can five you have your update. Did you update your dick? Did you update your brain? We only have your flaccid penis. We need a hard penis. If you have the brain chip, we'll let you pass through. You don't ever have to worry about identification ever again. I thought of a new wrinkle for that

I can let you update right there at the airport with some janky terminal That's probably hacked or you could do it at home like everybody else would probably be doing it Mmm, you update you update from a safe place update from a God or you could do it here like it's like a subway terminal Yeah, yeah It'll get to the point where you'll just have an account in your head, and you won't have to pay for anything with a credit card ever again. It'll all be an account in your head, but only through central bank digital currency.

If you subscribe to central bank digital currency, we can eye on now all the inequality and all the problems of society today. They'll get us. They'll get us. They're going to get us with a chip in our head. It's gonna be awesome. That's the problem.

They're gonna put that chip in and you go, God, why was I resisting this? I was so stupid just 20 minutes ago. Like, now I get it. I mean, if you imagine, like, you can only imagine being as intelligent as you are on your best or worst days. But could you imagine?

being like a caveman like like a australia pithicus like the early days You know just barbaric life covered in hair and then somebody Gives you something just a little shot or something and all sudden you can think like you You'd be like whoa. I didn't realize how fucking dumb I was I Think yeah, we're gonna plug in and it's gonna be so whoa Oh my god, this is so much better. This is so much better. This is so much better than regular brains Accept the fact that we have access to information constantly. You're seeing it all in your head. That's just Adderall right now, I think. Well, it's probably going to be better than Adderall.

Yeah. It's probably going to be better. If you could have something that stimulates various parts of your brain to produce certain neurochemicals, if that's possible, they're going to be able to do something where you can, people that are paralyzed can use cursors. They can use their brain to figure out

how to navigate computers. Yeah, wow. Yeah. But again, it's intrusive, right? I mean, it's your thoughts. Right, but if you're a paralyzed person, it's a really good thing. Like it's way better to be able to do that than not.

That's true. But once we start doing it, too Yeah, Sam, I know you're not paralyzed, but let me tell you the benefits of linking up and You just start talking to your girlfriend. It's gonna be like Jehovah's Witnesses They're gonna be like I'm linking up. I mean my cousin linked up. He's never felt better You know, it's he signed a one year lease. You link up for one year, you can't disconnect or they kill you.

It'll be like, it'll be like OZMPIC. You give the linked up people like a year to see how they do, and then you're like, I might link up. No, it'll be like military service. Like, if you're gonna link up, you have to link up, you have to commit to one year, because you're contributing to the grid. Yeah.

You're contributing to the grid of ideas if you link up. So you have to keep it on for one year. And most people don't take it off. And if you do take it off, the parts we screw it in, get infected. You know. Yeah, you're gonna have to get a re-up. You look weird.

You're like one of those weird people that just disconnected. We're so close to something like that. This Apple thing that everybody's doing, the fucking, watching television on a giant movie screen in your house with these goggles on supposed to be incredible Well, the thing is think about how much of your personal freedom like we all knew these people that were like I'm not getting a fucking Smartphone I don't want I want to be off the grid and you're like and then as you said they all have the phone now exactly

They all give in everybody gave in yeah, and by the way off the grid a lot of them were comics I'm like you're announcing tour dates already. Yeah, what are you talking about? I bought three chickens Yeah, the off the grid off the grid that's called you're a farmer. Yeah, that's a hard job Yeah, more than a farmer's are probably on the grid somewhere. You can't just tour if you're a farmer man. Yeah Fucking animals are gonna die, you're gonna have to have employees and you have to have some super-vice. Even the farmers are like, you know, they're on Facebook. Yeah. They're doing something. They're doing something. They're barely paying attention. Yeah. If you really want to be completely self-sufficient, like, wow, the only reason we can do all the

things that we do is because so many other people provide you with the stuff that would take up all your time Which is gathering food Eating it. Yeah, that's like most of what you would be doing Trying to find food Hunting is a sport for people. It's not like a thing. They most people do exactly I mean, there's a lot of people do it by choice, but they definitely don't need to. Most places you can get meat. You can't get that kind of meat.

It's not as easy to get that kind of meat. But there's, you know, plenty of other options. Yeah. You're not going to starve. The thing is, like, in the real world of that not existing, the food system not existing, you're not going to figure out anything. You're not going to make a car. You're not going to get that out of your head. You're not building figure out anything. You're not gonna make a car, you're not gonna get that out of your head.

You're not building a sailboat. Like all you're doing is gathering food and you're barely adequate. You're gonna do it all day long and you're barely gonna figure it out. And you might start eating rodents that you don't wanna eat. Oh yeah.

Yeah, yeah. No, I mean this is, you don't realize it's a full-time job. Full-time. And most people have like three jobs by the way now. Teachers are slowly getting on only fans. Everyone's doing their thing to make another, I make handbags on my side, whatever you're doing. Everyone's got like four fucking jobs now.

Yeah, the only fans one's a wild one. Whoa, that's a wild thing. Cause if I was a 21 year old girl and just graduated college and I was a 21 year old girl and just graduated college and I was kind of hot, you know. It's tough. I didn't want to be a waitress. If you look at your fucking salary as a teacher versus you like, oh I just made my whole life this year. I mean I'm not the one to judge. Do whatever you do that makes you happy, but it's just

It's a weird one But if you're contributing to only fans make sure you have the money and you have a guy I have a friend who fucking pays for only fans and he has never seen the Sopranos If I was a gal I would be worried about like dudes becoming obsessed with you from something like that But you get that as a comic don't you yeah, but it's a little bit different. It's a sexual thing from something like that. But you get that as a comic, don't you? Yeah, but it's a little bit different. It's a sexual thing.

True. You know, and you're more vulnerable. It's definitely different. I mean, it's like... But if you're a female comic, I think they become obsessed with you, too. Yeah, that could happen for sure. Oh, definitely, right? Yeah, I mean, Whitney's had a gang of problems.

Yeah, that makes sense. An actress, whatever. Yeah. I mean, a musician. Taylor Swift's probably got a shitload of stalker Oh my god. I mean so much. I mean you know she probably has people that think they're married to her. Yeah, you know just real nuts Yeah What's that?

Did you think he was married to her? Those stalkers always think they always think that all of your posts are for them. Yeah, they're like well I see what you're doing. They're schizophrenic. Yeah. That's what it is. And they believe they have some sort of a connection with you. You know, a lot of them say that they have a chip in their head. It's a very common thing they say.

I've got a chip in my head. Elon Musk talks to me like that kind of shit. For real. That's a thing that schizophrenics start believing. I just read that Elon Musk book. I thought it was pretty interesting. The Walter Isaacson. No, it didn't.

It's good. Is it an autobiography? No, Walter Isaacson wrote it about Elon Musk. Oh, it's a biography. Yeah, yeah. But he did like Jobs in Einstein. He did those books. He's a fucking awesome writer.

But yeah, I mean, you know him. I don't know. So I was like, I was an interesting window into like who he is and like how, what made him that way. I'm always curious to like the origin story of like bullied kid in Africa. Like interesting life.

Yeah, he's not a normal guy. He can be. He's a very, very unusual person. And when you talk to him, you can tell, like in the back of his brain, his mind is just firing it's just going all I asked him like I'm like what does it like to be you like what does it like to have all these he's like you wouldn't want to be me yeah he's not you kid doesn't seem happy he didn't even know that it wasn't normal until he was like an older kid and he's

like oh everybody's not like this where you just got ideas just fucking bouncing around your head like laser beams just constantly going. I mean, the guy's running three different companies simultaneously, or four different companies simultaneously. I think at a time he was doing like five or six too. It's something crazy. It's insane. It's insane.

It looks like, buys Twitter, posts on it all the time. I mean, it's like, dunks on people, post memes, you know, gets people mad at them. And then is also running SpaceX, and is also running Tesla, and is also running the Boring Company. Like, what the fuck, man? He, it's having similar characteristics

of like a degenerate gambler to be that successful in business like that. Cause you have to be willing to go all in all the time. Well, he's one of the very few people that's like the head of in business like that. Because you have to be willing to go all in all the time. Well, he's one of the very few people that's like the head of a business like that. That's also, you know, he's an extraordinary human in terms of like the way his mind functions. So, he's not a normal person.

No way, no, you don't get to that level. None of those other guys that run, lot of the companies that are run by CEOs You know you remember when that guy was running Microsoft the bomber guy that would jump around and scream It's one of my little time favorite videos because it's so insane Yeah, it's all Microsoft employees and Steve bomber gets out there and he goes nuts I mean nuts like to the point of almost having a fucking heart attack Oh, they're all dancing now he owns the Clippers This is a different one this is when they were all just dancing together, which is also hilarious who told them that this was okay

If I was their friends I would have said guys guys guys don't do this They're all stones like can you stop using our music? You're making a look any sense you're on a stage you're well lit and you're dancing publicly you're gonna be so awkward Let's not do but a lot of these guys are they were pariahs their entire childhood So this is like their chance. This is their first set put this back to the beginning put it back to the beginning Look at him. Yeah Look at it Look at this is insanity

This is insane software It's insane, he's software! Imagine you're in business with these guys and you're like, oh my god, we're in business with maniacs. Well this is either getting you fired the fuck up or you're like, I'm out. He's laughing though. But this is where it gets corn. Ready for this? Here we go.

I have four words for you. I love this company. Brutal. It's amazing. You look at this a year after your thing, though. Hey, man, that's the kind of guy I want running my company. He seems like a great owner for the Clippers. All in. He's super sweaty.

That's what I was saying. I remember this video. He does nuts. But that's like part of his act. His act is that he would go nuts. It was fun. If you're going to have to do those kind of things, where you go out in front of all the fucking employees

and dance around, why not go nutty? Why not go nutty? Then people will talk about it forever. Yeah. Can I do a drink by any chance? Yes, now's the time. Yeah, now's the time. Now's the time, Sam.

Whatever you got. We got whiskey, I'm gonna get your glasses. All right, whatever you got. Damn you, go. That's what I wanted to hear. Yeah, I mean, that's the kind of guy you want running your dominating software company that's constantly getting shut down

for anti-competitive practices. It's so weird, though. They didn't get shut down. They did get sued a bunch of times, right? Didn't they get, what happened with Microsoft? Like, there was a bunch of, there was a gang of lawsuits when Jamie comes back, try to figure it out. It's a different leadership style

than like a musk or a Steve Jobs a guy who's like those Steve Jobs doing that But it's like those dudes are much more like fuck you deliver like you know driving you insane Right, this dude seems like a more friendly. Yeah, he's having a good time But it's definitely screaming but it looked like he was smiling But like jobs and musk I feel like they will put you to your breaking point doing shit You didn't think you could accomplish and you either break or you do something insane Yeah, I've heard that about both of them, but I guess what just grab anyone that one's good Jamie the one your right hand

They're both good or the buffalo trace good to put that on yeah, whatever you go. Oh Yeah, that's like I don't want to do that I don't want to work You would work like that. That's go. Yeah. Yeah, that's like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to work like that. No. You would work like that? That's great. You know, maybe I should get a different job. I'm not going to sleep in the office.

It's too much. I got kids. I got to go. Bye. Thank you. Thanks for the job. You know, you should be able to actually have a job in our life. Cheers, by the way.

Cheers, my brother. I don't run a business, though. I mean, I kind of do, but. You have employees, you run a business. I do, but not that way. It's not the same kind of thing. Well, I mean, think of the scenes in Wolf of Wall Street, the way where he's like, ah! Yeah.

And you're like, all right. I'm not going anywhere! Yeah, good scene. What a great scene! The Caprio's an animal. That's a, I was on TV the other day. That's a great fucking movie. Oh my God, It's a great movie

That's a fun movie. He's like yeah, he's like it's rare for like actors that mystique. He still kind of has some mystique Oh, he's an animal. Yeah, so good. He's so good. He in so many movies too, man It's so many different types of characters It's a few those guys that are just like the last of the real motherfucker movie stars You know Leonardo Caprio's a motherfucker of a movie star He is like when he's screaming at you and his face is red. You're like dude. Yeah He's good. You watch the Killers of the Flower moon. I didn't love it. I did not I didn't love it I I love the book

I think the book is incredible my issue with the movie is like they focus on the wrong characters the guy He's playing Ernest Burkhart is a boring fucking idiot like he should have been playing the or give Jesse Plemons as the PI a bigger role I didn't see it so I can't comment What was the best premm? What was the premise of the book? I started the book quite a while ago And I never got into it. Oh get back to it. You'll love it It's it's one of the best because it's like true crime never got into it. Oh, get back to it. You'll love it. It's one of the best. Because it's like true crime in history in one.

It's kind of incredible. I, this is what happened, dude. I got really bummed out because I kind of overdosed on Native American history. Yeah, it was a bummer. And it was so, first of all, it's an amazing history and it's fascinating and I'm really connected to it being here Because like we find arrowheads like my friend of mine gave me this and then another friend of mine just gave me Four arrowheads from this ranch from Uvalde, Texas shout out to them

Yeah, and these are over a thousand years old these arrowheads That's crazy. Yeah, they're like this this whole land is all this is all Comanche land It really is yeah, but this These stories are so depressing They're so heart wrenching when you realize that They've been living that way for who knows how many thousands years and then over the period a short amount of time a couple hundred years 90% of them are gone. Yeah, 90 just drop it dead from diseases

Yeah, and then everybody else is eventually herded off into camps and they're put on these reservations and and the the When you hear the stories of what they did to the kids in the schools, you know, and you, when you, you hear the stories of the battles and these people just getting wiped out, you're like, holy shit. Could you imagine living in a place and you've been living off the land in these, these houses that you make out of animal skins and you travel with your family and you've always traveled like this.

And then all of a sudden these motherfuckers start coming from another country and they don't stop coming. Like your land got infected, it got invaded. They landed on the east and just started going across the country. And you just watch your whole life go away. You watch them shoot all the buffalo.

You watch them shoot all the buffalo. That was like 100 years from buffalo everywhere to no buffalo. Yeah, now it's just buffalo wild wings. It's nothing. Ah! They saved him. The Ken Burns documentary is amazing.

It was a new Ken Burns documentary on PBS right now about the American buffalo. Yeah, it's, he's great. documentary is amazing. It's a new Ken Burns documentary on PBS right now about the American Buffalo. Yeah, it's, he's great. He's amazing. That's a really good documentary series. I just think like that movie, I love Scorsese and everyone involved. It should have been, also,

if you make a three and a half hour movie, dude, you gotta leave with not being like, what else? I can't comment, like I said, I didn't see. I love everyone involved, honestly, but it was just like, for me, like, that's a book that they should have... I think he got criticized for saying something like, I was telling it from the white man's perspective and you're like, well, you are a white guy. Like, that is your perspective, probably, right?

Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that, but I just think he chose the wrong white guy. Like, the PI, that guy's real life. I forgot his name, you can probably find it. But I mean, holy shit, this guy, he was like the CIA fucking FBI, rather. Jack or who? Yeah, treated him like shit, because he wanted the vibe to be college boys, Harvard educated, and he wasn't that.

So he always was like, didn't show many respect. Yeah, this is the guy he played. Tom White, very interesting guy. Scroll higher, what does the article say? The full, this is just like factor fiction about the movie. Yeah, the guy Leo played is just like a dumb fuck who kind of went along. It just was a character I didn't think had a lot of depth.

It's like just spending three and a half hours with a guy who's like going along with murder and is kind of dumb. That's a weird thing they do when they take what is an actual piece of history and have someone play like when Sophia Vigara is playing. Griselda? Griselda Blanco, which is insanity.

Fucking insanity. Like what? She's like one of the hottest human beings it's ever lived. Got to sell tickets. And she's playing this lady who was a psychopath and a murderer. They just do things like that in movies. They'll monkey with the past if they think it's better Or they are got the hot guy. Yeah, just getting a fucking weird-looking actor

Yep, the other guy or Charlie or they pretend the guy was hot. She won an award for being ugly and monster Yeah, but she'd actually pulled it off. She's great, but it's a driver. I would they could have gotten an uglier actress It's a good point. There's a solid point. There's a solid point. It's a solid point. It's a really solid point. But she also had a famous actress privilege. For sure.

And that's right, that's, as I said, you wanna sell tickets. Famous actress privilege trumps everything because they sell tickets. For sure. Yeah. So if she decides to get fat for the movie, give her a shot at it.

Come on. You gonna say she can't do it but Robert De Niro can do it? Yeah. She was so good in that movie too. And she went back to hot again. She's hot. Which is crazy, because how many women out there

look like Chilleries Theron did in Monster, who could actually, the right diet plan, pull it together. That's weird. Let's start looking like her. Some people start, I don't know, Cushion Bale just like, is that, that can't be healthy what he does to his body all the time? Well what he did in that movie, The Machinist, is dangerous.

It's dangerous. Yeah. McConaughey did the same thing in The Dall Spires Club. But his face looks fucking skinny still. He was lighter or less weight, I should say, in The Fighter, which was after The Fighter. No, this says it's... The Fighter's good. I saw another like, pick a better shot., he got more skinny in that when he played

Mickey Ward's brother. I should say now that wasn't it a dicky something right? Yeah, dicky bats is a meme that showed their weight Well, oh 66 kilograms and that was 55 kilograms. This can't be this can't be healthy. No, no, no, it's real bad It's real bad. It's real dangerous Super super dangerous. But the Nero got shredded in, you know, raging bull and cave fear. Shredded is okay, but that,

he's starving to death there. That's why he's so thin. Like when he did the, no, no, no, no. It's very, very, very, very, very dangerous. It's dangerous for your heart. It's dangerous for your organs. It's dangerous for your kidneys.

It's dangerous for everything. It's very, very, very, very dangerous to do that. And so unnecessary for a movie that was mid. The movie was just not that good. You know, that movie wasn't ex-mocking. I didn't even see it. Ex-mocking is sick. Woo, it's a sick movie.

Talking about AI. You know what I'm saying? If you get skinny for that because she left you in that box with nothing but water, they come back and they're like, you know, remember at the end of the end of the movie when he gets spoiler when he gets stuck in there She just walks away killer bro. How far away we from that? Yeah, she's pretty hot robot. Oh, she was so hot. Why do you think you ever fuck a robot 100% yeah me too. It was her She was talking to me like that Ever ago, I'd see what it is, you know, especially if I'm some scientist dork on an island somewhere

There's a hot robot that I'm supposed to interact with and she knows how to press my buttons I'm working on a bit on stage, which is like you you we're gonna fuck robots But I think it's gonna be like a cell phone like everyone's gonna need a robot But like if you're poor you're gonna have like a lower level model like maybe while you're fucking it you get ads You know, it's gonna be like yeah, Liberty it's gonna be like robot women real women that's gonna yeah like that's what's gonna be like wow that's what's gonna happen holy shit robot women are real women that's what it's gonna be like yeah fucking sociopaths with batteries in them I'm gonna just start running shit yeah they have no

fear she's a hot robot so hot dude and once they put the skin on her and you know, she looks normal Movie so good. Yeah, it was good one of my all-time favorites I've watched that so many times on planes when I'm like going through my laptop I'm like what do I got on here? It's I like a good psychological thriller with three characters So it's like it's almost more like a play. It's like all dialogue heavy and just fucking like that could have been a play Yeah, and it's so fascinating watching this kid trying to work all this out You know like work out that he got this opportunity work out that he's there He was so who's the actor Tom Hall Gleason? Isn't that him perfectly awkward?

Every you know everything about him his origin story story, everything. Perfectly vulnerable, you know, and when he gets stuck at the end of the movie, like, oh my God, that's real. Because you kinda know it's coming, but you also kinda wanna believe a little bit. Just cause a baby deer is cute doesn't mean the mountain won't get it. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. That's the problem. He got fucking, we think he's a good guy. The baby deer is cute, doesn't mean the mountain won't get it.

That's the problem. You got fucking- we think he's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's doing the right thing and then shh. Him banging on the glass and you don't hear a sound. You're like, oh my god, you're gonna die in there. Yeah. You're gonna die in there.

A24 makes a lot of cool shit. Just banging on it and knowing you ain't putting a fucking dent in it. You are going nowhere forever. It's, I like... When she just shoved the knife in him. I love Unholywood endings dude. I love when they don't give the pe... And a lot of those movies bomb because people want a happy ending.

Like, I think one of Woody Allen's best movies ever is Purple Rose of Cairo and it's a fucking downer of an ending and I think that's probably why it's one of his biggest bombs. You know what's gonna be like? You can have a robot and you have a robot for a wife. But that robot for a wife, if she catches you doing anything, if you do anything that's illegal, you get like a red light code and she detains you. Because your robot wife is stronger than you. And you can fuck this like really hot robot wife and she looks like just a really hot

woman. We're all going to be subs. Super sexy, but what she really is, is a murderous robot capable of pulling your fucking head right off your body. How far away from robot wars then? Like, well of American robots versus Russian robots? Where are you doing with drones? That's true.

What is a missile? That's a good point. What's a guided missile? It's kind of a robot. Yeah, but it's like... What's those supersonic... But drone veterans are fucking not as cool as actual on the ground war veterans. No, they're definitely not.

But do you know that they suffer from a very specific type of PTSD? They probably should, they're killing people. Yeah, yeah. And imagine watching them on a screen. But your scars are not from being on the battlefield, they're from tripping over like a fucking router or something, you know? It's a different type of PTSD. It's definitely a different type of PTSD, but apparently they're haunted. Yeah. They're haunted. Like they... I'm sure. You're playing God. You're sure it's it you're you're playing God Mm-hmm. You're killing people and you're doing it. You're doing it a weird way where you're watching a screen So you're kind of like it's familiar. It's like a video game Yeah, and you got to imagine if you see those kids that are like really good at World of Warcraft and all that shit

I'm just thinking Call of Duty Call of Duty. Yeah quake any of those games are require fast twitch If you give them a responsive enough interface and some sort of insane weapon They could do fucking damn it Yeah, like a really good video game player in that funny That's gonna work for the next war 100% not your strongest, but your quickest fingers Think about it man I mean if you're watching like a really there's some games that are like I don't know how to play Starcraft, but I guess it's more like strategy and moving things around. It's not fast twitch

But it was a lot of these games like the third-person shooter first-person shooters. Yeah, Halo Unreal's like another one quake where you're you're moving fast. You're gunning things down You know, it's like if you can get a person who is elite at that where they just wipe out There's certain guys that will they'll have these death matches and these certain guys that will literally wipe out 60% of the other team. Yeah, they're just so good at fucking people up They're so good at it if you could get that guy To somehow another pilot a drone and if it's that responsive that it allows him to instantaneously moves the thing and it's shooting real guns Yeah, he'll fucking kill everybody

He'll fucking kill everybody It's that it like an incel now you're like a war hero right think about those quake characters Jamie pull up like quake arena. What's the what's the newest one? What is the newest one the one that we all got addicted to again? Quake champions if you're if you're actually doing this in the real world now imagine you're attached to some sort of a machine you're using all of these like remote controls that you would use on an xbox you're totally familiar with it so it's it's totally tuned to your need

on the other end of it there's a fucking robot with chain guns running into a Like a military complex and gunning people down And you're controlling this thing while it's getting dinged up you're in another place this thing can fly it shoots through the air And you just try it on people in Yemen just try it and you have this fucking guy a guy can do this like watch this game Imagine if you can move a thing that moves like this and has this kind of weaponry We can switch it back and forth between different weapons. I mean this is making me dizzy

Oh good this guy is look how good this guy is just fuck that dude up. Yeah, you're dead, bitch Oh, you're dead bitch. Up, you're dead bitch too. You're dead bitch. Look at that, you're dead bitch. This would be a waste of time. This would be training. 100% I think about it all the time about how like,

all, like this is different. It's like lasers and shit. But I think like some of the war games, you're just like GTA, like, they're fun as hell. But like, what do you do when you play GTA? I have friends that are just going on there, just murdering random people on the sidewalk. I'm like, at a certain point,

this is not great for your brain. You know what I mean? It's not great for your brain, but it's no different than golf. It's a thing that people get really good at and super hyper competitive at. It's just, it's no different than any of those other things. It's in between golf and porn.

Because you watch porn for two minutes, you're like, I don't feel great about myself Yeah, but it's not real, but like if you're simulating something in your head real But it's that our head there is that for sure But if something like that is really valuable like if you're making a lot of money doing that with some people What is like the most money? Some of them are like they make a lot of money right like millions right? So who could argue against that like Billy you need to get your law degree

So that you can be a partner and you fucking work weekends and 17-hour days and make a small fraction of what you would do with a blue wig on and fucking Terminator sunglasses Screaming at people on the internet. Is it any different than being a comedian? It's not much different. I mean, because you're kind of like, well, this is not a real job in my mind. But if you're in the top 1%, yeah, you could do pretty fucking well. Man's worst enemy, killer robot dogs that are controlled by soldiers' minds are trialed

by Australian Armory. See what I'm saying? Yeah. I'm telling you, this is that quake thing. We're not far away from that. Yeah, it's all, oh, look at that thing. But if you can make millions of dollars playing quake, why wouldn't you just play quake? Exactly.

It's like we think of it as bad because it used to be bad. And we got to get over that idea of like this. I think the same goes for only fans. It's your fucking body, right? Yeah, well listen, I'm a fan of people doing whatever the fuck they want. And I think there's a lot of pressure from people shaming people and people getting upset and other people's choices like worry about yourself, be way better off, you should worry about yourself, you know? A lot of times it is your own issues with that, right? Like, for me, like, you know,

I think I don't think everyone should go to therapy, but I think some people could benefit from talking out loud and looking at themselves. What do you mean by that? I think people who are judging other people's lives. Oh, okay. What do you mean what do I mean by that?

Just fucking around. Oh, I thought you said that. Just fucking around. No, yeah, no for sure. It's just- I just think sometimes if you're really mad about something that doesn't affect you in any way, that's probably your shit. It's 100% your shit.

Because you're wasting time. Yeah. Don't worry about that. There's types of really religious people who are into charity and love and not judging people. And there's people who are really religious who are like, you're going to hell. Yep. Yep.

There's like good cops and bad cops. Yeah. It's really the same thing. It's just human beings at all levels. There's just such a variety of people, and we'd lump them all into the same thing. That's why it gets so offensive when someone, you know, just wants to like single out one specific swath of people that's responsible for everything.

Like, no, we're still individuals, man. Yeah. We still have to be individuals. This idea that everybody has to pretend that they're on a special team that's an opposed to the opposite gender or the opposite sexual orientation, like, shut the fuck up, that's so fake. And it doesn't really affect you. And you know where you know it's fake?

The comedy world. What do you mean? Because in the comedy world, no one gives a fuck what you do you just have to be funny Well, if you care about comedy funny is your language. It's all that we met. What's all that we care about Yeah, I loved him Dylan to death. Yeah, you know the fact that he's a gay man. I don't believe first of all I don't believe it. I Think it's a scam. I've never seen him have sex with guys until I did. I've never heard a gay guy with that voice.

He's one of the funniest human beings that's ever lived. That's what's important. No one gives a shit if he's gay. No one gives a fuck. No one gives a fuck if you're trans if you're funny. No one gives a fuck if you're Asian if you're Bobby Lee. No one cares. All they care is are you cool to be around, are you funny?

First of all, it's cool. The Asian is the bridge too far. No, he's I'm with you like we don't care comedy is a weirdly accepting place That's why it's funny that we get considered like you know, they're like this is a dudes club like no We want to be around funny if you hear about comedy. It's just harder for women The women in the road. That's why it's harder for women. It's the roads dangerous. The road is dangerous It's creepy. I mean especially when you start now and you have to stay in like a comedy condo and shit 100% That is where women really have it harder. I think so well That's one aspect of it, but also even just the active stand-up like when you're going on stage and you're a woman

And you're starting to talk about politics. Yeah, you're gonna get a certain percentage of the guys the audience like That guy that was doing this with you to talk about politics. You're gonna get a certain percentage of the guys in the audience like, that guy that was doing this with you, he was doing that because of a woman, right? He was doing, do you know how bad it would be if an actual woman was on stage and she's saying, and the girl wants, she wants to be there, like, come on, she's really funny.

Let's go see her. You'll laugh at a woman. Women are capable of being funny, Greg. And then Greg gets a little drunk, he's like, dude. You know, and now you're intimidated. You said a boo, and they're yelling, show your tits. What if this guy's gonna punch you? It's worse.

Yeah, it could be show your tits. Worse. It could be a lot worse. And it's also, it's like, so there's a certain amount of men that are gonna be prejudiced about what you talk about. Like, you're not allowed to talk about politics. Don't fucking tell me who the fucking real president is. Don't do that with any comment.

But I think with women, they get unfairly condemned for like sex jokes. Sex jokes. Because of your slut. Oh, look at her. She's a slut. No, she's... A lot of jokes are about sex. Sex is...

Right. The way they use violence in a movie, because it's extreme, we use sex as sex as a punchline sometimes also when a woman tells a joke about sex If a guy in the audience is like, yeah He got horny from the joke, yeah, right, right? That's creepy. That's possible if a man is on stage And he tells a sex joke and a woman goes yeah, look at this crazy bitch. I love immediately. You gotta diffuse it It's not a threat exactly completely different dynamic. So that part is more dangerous and a woman goes, yeah, look at this crazy bitch. I love him. Like immediately he got to diffuse it. It's not a threat. Exactly.

So it's a completely different dynamic. So that part is more dangerous. It's more dangerous to be sexual. It's more dangerous to be vulnerable. Late nights walking home in a random city. I mean, I was attacked on the road once. I can't think like, you know. How'd you attack?

I was at a bar right after the gig in Vermont and some guy walked up to me and he goes, he goes to University of and I was like no when he goes master's degree and I said you're getting colder And he just looked at me and he goes I'm gonna beat the shit out of all of you to me and like three people I was with and I just kind of like shrugged off I'm gonna get drunk. I'm like no one just right turned around he takes a pint glass and smashes it over my head Oh, yeah, and He ends up running out the cops they called the cops on him. I was alright I honestly this sounds ridiculous, but I had a Jew throw at the time and it did provide some support for my head

It really did help and he runs for it the cops get him. He went for one of the cops guns Oh, Jesus Christ. He was in a blackout. They, they. They shoot him? No, no, they didn't. Were you upset about that? No, I don't want him to die. What were you rooting for? A wound, a foot wound. A little police brutality I would have been okay with. It's just above the knee.

Bang. Ah! They arrest him, I get a call, they're like, hey, we're like with we're with the victim's advocate or whatever from Vermont. And they said, yeah, that was a therapist. He was in a blackout, he's going through a divorce. The therapist?

Yeah, the guy who hit me was a therapist. And a lot of therapists are fucking insane. I used to date a therapist. She was removed from my show earlier this year. Yeah, I mean, a lot of them are a little cuckoo. Well, that's like Elrond Hubbard. He was like trying to self-diagnose. Well, it always starts good with these guys.

Same with Jim Jones. They always start nice. And then it ends up at a place where you believe the fucking, for lack of a better word, you drink your own Kool-Aid, right? Exactly. I mean, Elrond Hubbard, Jim Jones, anyone you wanna fuck. A lot of crazy people are very

Intent Ted Bundy. I mean not a buddy at Kaczynski very smart guy Oh, yeah, he was really a lot of these and Ted bondy was probably pretty fucking smart too Yeah, creepy way creepy is because you're smart doesn't mean you're nice of course not you can be a real monster totally like a lot of therapists just cuz like You're a therapist doesn't mean you're not fucking insane. Right, you could be insane. So they ask you if you want to fly back.

And the whole reason why you got involved in it could be because you're insane. And you want to read people. And you can read people well and you can manipulate people. I mean- Is there a therapist that convinced her patient to kill her ex? She convinced her patient to kill her ex. I think a great movie premise. Yeah, no, it's real. See if you can find that story, Jamie. X. She convinced her patient to kill her X. I think a great movie premise.

Yeah, no, but it's real. See if you can find that story, Jamie. I know I saved it. I can find it if you can. But this therapist talked this guy. She talked this guy and killing her X. That's fucked up. Oh, gosh, I'm killing that motherfucker.

You know, she was telling her stories. He was telling her stories, and she was telling him. She loved him. And you know, something happened stories and she was telling him she loved him. Something happened. Something kind of hot about that. Something hot. Fucking hot as shit. Look, everybody dies.

Female therapists can be really hot. Counselor attempts to enlist patient in her plot to have her ex-husband murdered. Cynthia Guy. Wait a minute. Is that her? Is that Cynthia? Kind of hot. The nerb of these people shows in 250 an hour and then trying to get you involved in this shit.

Cynthia Guy wanted her ex-husband dead but her patient teamed with investigators to take her down. Oh, the patient snitch. That's why you don't get any good crazy pussy. This season 6 of Fargo. The deal is a deal, dude. A deal is a deal. You know, you shoot my ex. I said, come on. You should have taken it. What are you gonna do, dude? The rest of your life, you gotta go, what would have happened if I shot that guy?

There's something hot about fucking the therapist, though, it's like fucking the teacher. It's like they're in a position of power over you. Right. Most porn is fucking people you shouldn't be fucking. There's a real power struggle. It's like, when do we get to fuck before I kill your ex or after?

I'd like one for the road. to know I need to know for sure you're really on this program dude I 100 guys just imagine okay, Sophia Vigara. We're talking about her Imagine someone not her of course because that would be offensive, but imagine someone who looks exactly like her Yeah, and she's trying to convince you someone who looks exactly like her. Yeah. And she's trying to convince you to kill some terrible, terrible, terrible person. And if you do, she's gonna suck your car.

Yeah. Do I have to take a picture though? A decent version of this thing. Another one. You're Jersey Therapist's ass patient to help her find a hit man and attack her ex. Wow. You know what I would say if my therapist said,

you know what I would say if my therapist said this to me, I'd say, this is my time that I pay for it pay for why you talking to me about killing your fucking husband keep talking What kind of deal we talking about depends on who I am. Yeah, it's me right now. Yeah, I'd be like this is crazy talk Yeah, I'm very I mean I'm turned on and I have an erection, but I'd like you to stop I'm gonna jerk off in your bathroom, but it was 24 year old me. I might kill that dude Fucking strangle that guy. There's that movie about this. You ever see that movie to die for with Nicole Kidman? It's a great movie.

Oh yeah. Buck Henry wrote it, wrote the graduate, and she gets a young Joaquin Phoenix to murder her husband. She's his teacher. It's kinda hot there. Well, hell hath no fury. Like a woman's gone. There's crazy human beings that happen to have vaginas.

Yeah. Okay? That's a real thing. Sure. And to ignore that is just as crazy as to say that anybody who says they're trans can use the women's room. Because both of those things are equally crazy. Yeah, why can't, I think anyone can be crazy? I think of anything that's that's inclusive, but there was a time where that was really shunned Men who gaslight women and call them crazy when they're the ones manipulating them So I think that's where that comes from but like doesn't mean a woman can't be crazy

It 100% but it also does mean the guys will say a woman's crazy if they're trying to gaslight them. Totally. That's true too. It's so it's lazy point out why they're crazy. Don't just use that way, you know like show show give some examples Right, it's it's an apt it is effective because lazy is easy to count like no you're lazy like now You're gonna now you're playing fucking pickleball, you know, no you lose, you know Yeah, the correct thing is to say exactly why what you're doing is lazy and what you think is actually behind that thinking. Yeah. The way you behave.

Constructive. Yeah, be constructive. Or just be communicative to the point of saying, I have a real issue with this and I don't want to play stupid games. So either we're nice to each other or we're never going to nice to each other anymore because I'm gonna go away. Like I'm not interested in, you know, arguing about dumb shit that shouldn't really be something that anybody argues about. Shitty word. Every time I'm in an argument I'm like this is fucking dumb. It's because it here's what it should be. Yes. One of you says something that bothers you and the other

person if you're if you love them you should just be like all right 100% there's no why you fight when you see couples fighting in public I'm like you two should not probably be together Yeah, especially if you're calling one you calling each other like I used to have neighbors who would scream each other in ways I'd be like this is not healthy for either you know I'd I never do that I never I can't scream and I can't say names. I just can't do it. I don't want to do that. I never, I can't scream and I can't say names. I just can't do it. I don't wanna do that. I don't ever wanna do that in my life.

And I think it's a dangerous area to get to. Cause I think of you're screaming at each other and calling each other names and saying mean shit to each other, you're real close to violence. You're on violence's door. And you know, if there's any like one constant in my life It's been like avoid violence at all costs. Yeah other than like competition, but avoid avoid because that's kind of different That's like I'm trying to figure out myself

That's like what like martial arts competitions around you really trying to figure out how far you can go and how good you can get at this But like real-world violence at all costs. Fuck your ego, get out of there. Yeah, it's not worth it. None of it's worth it. Sometimes in the moment you think it's fucked. I mean, I got into a fight with a guy in the park the other day because he was like, me and my friend, no, we got, we were exchanging words.

It didn't get physical, thank God. But I, no, we were arguing because they were like all these skater kids and they just kept coming through our basketball court and I was like, guys, come on, like we're not going in your area. Just could you just stop coming here our basketball court And I was like guys come on like we're not going in your area Just could you just stop coming here and he goes skaters were here first. I'm like, oh great now This is like the Middle East. We're fucking arguing about like Dude, just let us have it and we kind of escalate and I was like, hey man I don't want to argue anything meaning that was like all right good

But you get the wrong guy you're like, oh, yeah, well so there's guys who look for things like that Yeah, especially guys who know how to fight a little bit And they'll just decide they want to show off. They want to show off and they want to tee off on your face Yeah, you know, especially if they come from abused backgrounds or their dad beat him or something like that Yeah, those are fucking dangerous people because I'm used to violence They're so used to violence that violence to them is like first choice You know, they're ready to like smack you because people have been smacking them their whole life. My biological father was just distant. So I'm like, I think I'm passive

because I don't want to argue even. I'm like shrink kind of, I'm not that, but you know, I think if you had an abusive dad, yeah, you're gonna want to fucking throw down probably. Yeah, there's like a, there's a fine line with every interaction. Like how much could this interaction have been different if I approached it different?

You know, how much of it could have been avoided if I was less defensive, or if I was more friendly and disarming, or if I was just more careful with my words? How much difference, how much could I have manipulated this conversation, or massage this conversation? And you know, that's the thing you always have to think about when it comes to like two people that don't know each other interacting with each other Especially if they're drunk

You know like after a show or something like that. I hate bad drugs because I think I'm not a bad drunk That's a certain name. I'm a happy drunk me too. I'm a nice. I'm a nice drunk I will deny that I'm drunk when I'm drunk. That's the one thing like I will literally come I'm drunk when I'm drunk. That's the one thing that's in there. Like I will literally come home shit-faced and I'm like, I had one drink, I had two drinks. Dude, if you wake me up at four in the morning, I'll swear I was already awake.

I don't know why I was awake. No, I was awake. The only lie I'll tell is that I'm not drunk. My lie is I was asleep. I wasn't asleep. That's my lie. For why? I don't know, man. I wish I knew. It's like lie for a lie. I don't know man. I wish I knew it's worth the fucking

There's an answer in there somewhere, but that's the one time. I will definitely lie Not really most of time I'll probably tell the truth now But like in my life how many times if I lied when someone called woke me up like 99% of the time Like I'm always like no. I'm awake. I'm awake. What's up? I've gotten better at this shit Like I've gotten better at saying I'm because I was at a nix game with my girl the other night and like I was screaming at the Ref and she was like you're fucking drunk and I was like, yeah, you watched me drink like what I don't know why that's surprised you saw me And I was yelling at him. This is funny NBA ref. We say this guy Tony Brothers. He's like a funny ref

So I'm sure I'm like you stink. You're the worst ref heart and he just looks around and gives me one of these like funny ref, so I'm like, you stink, you're the worst ref. And he just looks around and gives me one of these, like, just like annoyed. He's got a funny face, a very sarcastic ref, so. But yeah, I've gotten better at admitting it, but for years I was like, I'm not drunk. It came from just being a kid and coming home drunk and my mom being furious at me.

And just learning how to be a good drunk actor. My parents would lock the door, so I would just keep hitting the doorbell. My face passed out half against the door So they'd open it and I'd fall flat on my face. I was like 16 probably But I remember I was just puking my guts out and my mom would she doesn't know what to deal with a drunk My mom doesn't drink so she would come in and bring me chamomile tea as I'm puking. I'm like perfect Yeah, this will this will sell that

You got any zucchinis back there? Serve with it. She didn't know she's just trying to help but uh, no I mean I can't stand bad drunks because I don't mind like if you're just a little sloppy But if you're like an aggressive drunk man, there's something I Know I got no time for that shit and it's always like How much do I have invested in you like how much do I have invested in you? Like how much do I know you? Know you.

Does it really know you, know you? And it's just an off night and like, you're alright dude. Don't worry about it. You get my hug and go, bro you were crazy. You were crazy. You're trying to fight cops. Exactly. That's the thing too.

I was like, I really, yeah you try to fight a cop man. Come on. Well that's the thing. I'm compassionate because I drink. So if someone's badly behaved I'm like, hey, as long as they're not like a huge asshole. I don't want people kicked out of my shows ever so I'm very Yeah, very gentle with that, but at the same time I Think people I remember a guy threw a fucking bottle at David Tell's head and he was just like he gave I think gave the guys friend bail money for the guy

Jesus Christ because he's that fucking nice that's amazing yeah i'm not that nice no i'm not that he's a bottle in my head you know the comedy store in the dark days the dark days of like the nineties the comedy store was totally unpoliced i hate that and there was no crowd control it was terrible it was not good but it was good because it was like working out at crronk gym where they kept the temperature like

98 degrees all the time You just they're so hard to work there But you go on the road and you're like at the improv in Fort Lauderdale and you're fucking slaying your shit's tight Because you're dealing with animals. Also, you have the ability to flow if something happens in the crowd You know something happens. You're so accustomed to things going sideways. Yeah. We're a comedy store, like the comedy store 90s comedians, you know, and I count Diaz in one of those, were constantly involved in these chaotic shows.

They were nuts, man. They were nuts. People would pile in there. But it makes you who you are. Makes you who you are. It's not easy. That was a hard room. It was really loud. The hallway was really loud.

People were always out there in the hallway yelling. That was Broadway comedy club for us in New York. That was a rough room. I used to work the door there for a couple years and it sucked. They'd give you stage time to go on, but like, I remember a guy fucking spit on me during my set. Oh my God. This is like, this is maybe a bit much.

Joey Cola told me that he was doing pips in Brooklyn and the guy showed him his gun yeah showed him his gun and he said you fucking suck you fucking suck you're not funny at all you fucking suck I'm gonna shoot you in your fucking head he's like hey buddy what are I doing he's trying to like joke around with Joe Cole is like the sweetest nicest guy ever a lot of pressure whoever's on next Yeah, better fucking turn this around. Yeah, Joey's a funny dude. No, I see yeah, I haven't but I know I'm aware of his reputation It's a killer. He's a killer. Yeah, especially like the the 90s. Oh my god, Joey Cole was an animal Who's an animal?

It pips. That's where Dice started out. Dice? Oh yeah, or a killer, or a crazy person with a gun. Could be all the above, but there's a lot of... You're in Brooklyn. You're in Sheepshead Bay. I was like, what do you think is happening there? You know, you're in Chinatown and you're some guy, you know, talking Chinese, you get hit in the neck with a dart. Dude, I had an incident once. I was leaving a terrible club to catch a rising star in Princeton. There's probably like 12 years ago or something. And, you know, one of the rare clubs that would headline me back then.

And I'm getting, I'm coming back that night on the train, on Amtrak, whatever, wait, under New Jersey Transit rather. And I'm on the platform and I'm just like, I got a bottle of whiskey with me. I'm like, that's, I'm like, I'm going back tonight. I'll have a few drinks. I'll chill on the platform and I'm just like, I got a bottle of whiskey with me. I'm like, I'm going back tonight, I'll have a few drinks, I'll chill on the train and I'm a little buzzed and this dude just walks up to me. Something's off about him and he's like fucking with people on the platform and he said to me like,

he's going to everyone like, how do you feel about immigration? And I'm like, what is wrong with this guy? So when he gets over to me, I'm like, I'll fuck with him back. I had that much alcohol on me. And he goes, what do you stand on immigration? I was like, they're ruining the damn country. And like, I shouldn't have said that. I was just trying to be silly. Like, obviously I don't believe that. But he's like, he goes, you're a bad fucking person. He goes, I should fucking hurt you.

And I was like, what is, like, he's a creepy little dude. So I'm like, whatever. But I'm like, maybe he's got a weapon. I get on the train. I'm hiding from him. He's trying to find me. I'm like hiding because I don't want to deal with this. How'd you get away from him? So he keeps fucking with people. As he's looking for me, I'm like hiding, I see him. But how'd you get away from him initially? After you said that. I just kept walking away and he wasn't like,

he was kind of like still keeping his eye on me and trying to find me, but he wasn't like chasing me, you know? Who's sizing you up? Sizing me up. And I'm on the train and I'm hiding. Cause I'm like, I don't want to fuck. This guy's insane.

I didn't realize how crazy he was. I thought it was like, and it was a rookie move by me. I'm a New Yorker, I know better than to do this shit. I'm on the train, I'm sitting down, I'm like, I don't want to fuck. This guy's insane. I didn't realize how crazy he was. I thought it was like, and it was a rookie move by me. I'm a New Yorker, I know better than to do this shit. I'm on the train, I'm sitting down, I'm hiding, texting my friend, and I'm like, this guy's fucking me on the train. He's like, ah, fuck, I'm sorry, whatever. I see him do it to another guy.

How do you feel about immigration? And he just keeps fucking with the dude, and it's a big black dude, and he goes, East New York, motherfucker, and I'm like, this is like my guardian angel right here He like gets in the guy's face is that I'm gonna fucking kill you and then like some ticket boy tries to get in the middle They have to stop the train this dude was about to get fucking pounded. I got like saved by some weird Yeah, there's people out there in the world that you should not fuck with yeah

I'm those and those prankster guys every now and then they run into the wrong dude It's not a smart move. I get it You're trying to get a lot of people to pay attention to you and that will be effective But you might get concussed you see old clips of Tom Green. I'm like, thank God. He didn't get to ask I mean this is like ball. He's crazy. He was green was crazy innovative I mean he was I credit him to being one of the inspirations for me starting this for sure I love him. Do you ever see his show the Tom Green show? Did you ever do the show, the in-house show? No. The in-house show is incredible. I don't know if you were... When did you start stand-up? 2005. Okay, so there's only two years

after you started. Tom Green had an internet show in his house. No, I remember the clips. I never... I was obsessed with his MTV show. It was amazing. It's in an Eminem song. I was obsessed with his MTV show. It was amazing. It's in an Eminem song. He made a fucking Eminem song. The one I remember all the time is Undercutter's Pizza, where he would just follow people. He'd follow a pizza delivery guy

and bring all the toppings in a suitcase, and he'd be like, well, Undercutter's Pizza will charge you less to the guy he was delivering it to. And I'm like, and the guy fucking tried to kick his ass. It was so- Undercutter's Pizza.

So stupid and funny. I think he was- He kick his ass. It was so undercutters being so stupid and funny I think he was He was pretty great. He got really good at stand-up too by the way. Yeah, he really did. He's doing the mother ship soon He's a this is it. Yeah, I want to fucking kick his ass Oh, I remember when he smashed his testicle live on air because he he got it removed from when he had cancer. Yeah Yeah, I respect him a lot. He's coming soon. He's gonna be on the podcast soon too.

Yeah, he's great. He's underappreciated. Yeah, I feel so. I feel like that. And I really like to stand up. I know he's a big name still. He is, but I don't think people... I mean, it's like that.

Well, Freddie got fingered. It's a fucking great movie. Insane. It was great movie. I was one of three people in the movie theater opening day when it came out. The other two, my friends. My friend, T movie. It was an empty movie. It didn't pan out commercially, but my friend Eddie Bravo told me about it.

He goes, dude, he goes, I know everybody says it sucks. Go see Freddie got fingered. Oh, really? It's insane. He goes, it's so funny. It's so good. He jerks off a horse. It's an elephant, whatever. Whatever. No, he, uh, it's amazing. It's insane. He goes, it's so funny. He jerks off a horse. It's amazing. An elephant, whatever.

Whatever. No, he, uh... It's amazing. It's so silly. He's ahead of his time. He was ahead of his time. Yeah, he sucks off a cow or something. He's out of his mind. Yeah, it's one of... You know what? It's one of the last movies, I feel, like, that got destroyed by critics. It's when critics still had their power.

And it was, like, a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes or whatever. And they were like... It's, like, back... Like, think about critics. I don't think that had Rotten Tomatoes back then. But whatever it was, it was like a zero percent on Rotten Tomatoes or whatever and they're like it's like back like you think about critics I don't think that rotten tomatoes back then but it whatever it was it was like Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel being like this sucks and I Ebert's a great reviewer he doesn't always get comedies but like if you read Ebert's old reviews they're incredible there he's one of the best writers you ever read the script that he wrote no I never did he wrote some crazy movie what was the script that he wrote? No, I never did. Is it good or not? He wrote some crazy movie. What was the movie that Roger Ebert wrote?

It's so insane. You're like, what are you doing? What is this? It sucked. I mean, I'm not the one judge. I'm not a movie critic. I don't know how to interpret scripts. Maybe it could have been made amazing.

But most people thought it was preposterous. Well, his reviews, though. I mean, that was his talent, his reviews, because he would write shit and look, if you were going to... He's a really good writer. He would articulate things like, fuck, I didn't realize I felt that way and that's what a good writer can do, you know? Yeah, but it's also, he's a different human than you. Like an Adam Sandler movie. For me, I'm like, I can review an Adam Sandler movie. I go, it's fun, silly, it's great,

the zoe hand, he fucks everyone, cuts hair, kicks everybody's ass. It's really fun. At the end of the movie, you're like, I had a good fucking time. But you can like both. That's the thing. And also he did uncut gems, which is a complete polar opposite of that.

What do you see? That movie makes my fucking hand sweat. I'm going, oh Jesus, don't fucking do this, man. Don't fucking do this. When you watch that gambling junkie keep placing those bets and you feel the anxiety, you feel it? I feel it.

No, it was, that's one of the most stressed inducing movies I've ever seen. Ever. But man, he's grading it. He's so good in that movie. That movie is so good. They're great directors, those guys. They're really good.

The Safty Brothers. They did like, Good Time, you ever see that? They're fucking great. What's good time? It's with Robert Pattinson, it's like another crazy adrenaline rush type movie like that, it's really cool. Did you see Sisu?

I, it was on TV the other day and I was loving it and I had to run out. It's that war movie, right? It's fucking great. Yeah, it's violent as shit. It's fucking great. I'm putting it on the list right now. It's fucking great, it's so ridiculous

and it's like basically like John Wick in World War II. I gotta see this. It's fucking great. It's so ridiculous and it's like basically like John Wick and World War 2. I gotta see this. It's amazing, man. The guy's gonna stand in the head and then I had to run out. It's fucking incredible. This dude is the shit. Yeah, that was it. And I had to fucking run out. I'm telling you, this dude's the shit. He's amazing. He stole his golden. He just wants it back. Oh, he fucks everybody up, man.

And it's the way he does it. Somebody about revenge movies, dude. I love him. I love him. I'm behind John Wick, yeah. Yeah, it's a fucking fun movie, man. It's a really fun movie. Gotta check it out.

Doesn't he have like one line the whole time? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can watch it. Like, it doesn't matter. It's like, my favorite moments of John Wick are none of him talking. I'll do respect to Keanu Reeves. I love that dude. But my favorite moments in John Wick are him just fucking everybody up. It's just, it's like beautiful, the way it's choreographed. It's like beautiful violence.

Bro, John Wick won. I don't care what anybody says. It's like one of the best movies ever, in terms of like what it's trying to do. What is it trying to do? It's trying to excite you and get you fired up and get you engaged and wanting this guy to be successful and kill all these bad guys. And you're on his side immediately. 100%. And he's doing things that you know can't possibly happen. There's not a person who is okay with you murdering a dog. Exactly.

You can't fucking... Exactly. I mean, maybe Michael Vick 10 years ago, but other than that. It's also redemption denied. So this guy has this redemption story. He's decided to settle down with this amazing woman. I'm not gonna be a hitman for the Russian mob anymore Which is kind of problematic already. Yeah, probably killed a lot of nice people But you have beautiful hair and you are Keanu Reeves, so I'm gonna let it slide for now Yeah, so but this woman obviously they were really in love and then you know when she dies and then they steal his car and kill his dog

You don't fuck with a man his car and kill his dog. You don't fuck with a man's car, they're dope. Okay, yeah. Okay, and you're so, you're rooting for him every step of the way. And then the fucking guy, who's the guy who played the father, there's the head of the Russian mom. He just passed away, that guy, great actor. God damn, he was incredible.

He's so good in that movie, man. He's so fucking good. And willing to fuck. When he's explaining to his son what he did wrong Yeah, you know cuz he kind of you could tell he's kind on he's more like wick he's more on his side But he's like my fucking son. Well, he knows what's gonna happen. Yeah, yeah, when he says to him He goes we called him Baba Yaga Yeah, you play this favorite scenes in any movie when

Ari Burt Tom and I were having sober October fitness challenge I watched this on a loop I watched this like 50 times in a row look at the fucking greatest scenes in any movie I love it the fucking ultimate boogie man rich guy's son piece of shit he's's hateable. He's a hateable face too. Just admitted he killed some people in Atlantic City Yeah, okay, we're going

This is Barbie for men. Yeah, I just want you to understand that's what that is. You know how you love Barbie I enjoyed Barbie too. I don't like it. I thought it was fun. I thought it was a silly movie I enjoyed it. I went with my wife and my daughters. We had a good time. Yeah, look, I understood. It was beautiful looking. I think they're...

That's Barbie for me. Yeah. It was, it's not for me. Well, I enjoyed it. I'm not faking enjoying it. I thought it was a fun, silly movie. What did you not like about it? Hmm.

I just didn't think it was that funny I just thought it was kind of like I'm gonna get trash for this but I just thought it was a I know everyone loves this fucking movie but I just thought it was I didn't laugh I just didn't laugh ever not really no I laughed a few times I was looking a lot I was looking a laugh I went into it with a really good mood you know I was looking a laugh I was looking at I was to know I never go in wanting to not like a movie I I love movies, man. I think Reddiger works crazy talented. I just didn't really... You know what else I couldn't fucking

stand? Everyone's talking about this movie, Saltburn. Do you see this shit? No. What is that? It's like talented Mr. Ripley for retards, I guess. Who do you think you're... It's like if you fucking can't... If you don't like nuance and you need to see a dude's dick every three minutes Saltburn, what is this movie about? Basically talented heard of it. I haven't seen it. It's just not a nuanced movie. It's like so over the top He's look the actors are very good, and it looks beautiful. It's just I think the script was like I've never heard this until right now

It's huge. It's a huge movie. Really? I'm so out of the loop, dude. Yeah. I didn't like it. I'm out of the culture loop. Do you think you want to get into films? Is that why you're so interested? I love movies.

Yeah, I'm working on, Norman and I wrote a movie with Noah Garden Schwartz and Esther Steinberg. It's like a drinking buddies movie. It's fun. It's really funny. So hopefully we do some of that. Yeah, I'm trying to develop a TV show right now. like I like writing I like writing plots and and dialogue and stuff and I Worked on one for a while with Dana Gould

We worked on an animated show for so fucking long and we couldn't sell it but you know, but I loved it I will make it someday, but Yeah, I think this this show I'm working on I'm writing it with, do you know Mike Lawrence, the comedian? Another name. He's a fucking beast. Maybe I do know him. He was a roast battle champion back in the day. But he's a great standup too,

but we're creating this show and I think it's gonna be really cool. But yeah, I love movies. I like- Pull up Mike Lawrence. I love Stand Up the most, and that'll always be number one. But I wanna try other avenues.

You should have, yeah. And I could you do, man. And I love movies. Oh, I know that dude. Yeah, it's great. Oh, dude. It's very funny. The lines he's written for this, I'm like, fuck, they're beautiful.

I think everybody should like other stuff too. I don't think it's bad to like other stuff. I love sports, I love movies, I love, I have so many interests, but I mean, like I told you, like Golden Age Hollywood, I love Film Noir, I love like old school, I love movies. I love, uh, I love, I have so many interests, but I mean, uh, like, I told you, like Golden Age Hollywood for whatever, I love film noir, I love like old school movies and shit. I love- Would you love to be a fucking spider on the wall during like a James Cacney movie? Dude. Okay.

Imagine what that was like back then. Can I give you a book recommendation? Yeah. Uh, it's called, I think it's called, look up the title exactly, it's called Lunches with Orson, I think. It's about, I think it's called, look up the title exactly, it's called Lunches with Orson, I think, it's about Orson Wells. It's literally Orson Wells shit talking every actor and director from the 30s to like the 80s. It's one of the funniest, but he's incredibly funny. Oh, he was brilliant.

Because he, I mean, yeah, this is it. He underperformed. It's brilliant, I mean. He underperformed in his life. But think about making Citizen Kane at 25. I know, but he underperformed. But that had always drove me crazy. Like, why?

Why did he go to sell wine after that? He was broke. I understand that. I'm not criticizing him for selling wine. I would do it too. My criticism is like, you were the fucking man. You were a war of worlds. You played that on the radio and freaked out half the country.

You were Citizen Kane. He was going up against William Randolph Hearst. I mean, he was essentially making a film that was about William Randolph Hearst. William Randolph Hearst was very aware of it. So was everyone else. How the fuck are two? Scary, powerful.

So scary that marijuana is still a schedule one drug today because of William Randolph Hearst. That's a fact. That's a fact. Yeah. William Randolph Hearst with Hear's a fact. That's a fact. Yeah. William Randolph Hearst with Hearst Publications. They started printing...they're the ones that came up with this whole idea along with Harry Anslinger, that marijuana was a different drug. Because they were using hemp for everything. They were using hemp for clothes. Hemp makes

a superior fabric. It makes a superior paper. It's way better for paper. It's way superior fabric. It makes superior paper. It's way better for paper. It's way more sustainable. You could repopulate. If you have land and you're growing hemp on it and you cut it all down, you grow it back in a year. If you have land where you're growing trees and you chop them down to make paper, you're fucked for 20, 30 years, man. So different thing you're doing.

And it's far superior, but for years, they'd use paper. Because they used to have a, there was a machine that came out called the Decorticator. And when the machine came out, it could effectively process hemp fiber with a machine. Because they used to use slaves. So when they used slaves, it wasn't as cost effective as cotton was.

So then they start cotton picking, Eli Whitney comes out with the cotton gin and Then camp gets kind of putting the bar burner back burner rather because it's not as easy to do Like you got to beat the fuck out of that stalk to break it down into fibers and weave those fibers But if you do it's way superior. Wow this invention comes out called the decorticator pull up a decorticator So you can see what it is So it's this big steel wheel with these like like rods poking at these pokey points Polk that and they grind down the hemp fiber with this so that you can make superior paper

So it's a machine that does yes Wow popular mechanics or popular science on the front cover says hemp the new billion dollar crop So there's a competition with these people that have paper mills. So William Randolph Hearst not only has Hearst publications, he also has paper mills and he has huge forests that he's chopping down to make paper for his newspaper. So instead of like switching everything over to hemp, he decides to demonize hemp. So he creates a new name. They create a new drug called marijuana and Marijuana was the name they used to use for a wild Mexican tobacco And so they attribute this marijuana name to cannabis which they've always used because it's hemp

It's the same thing that they've always used he villainized it He villainized it and then came out with reefer madness and those crazy Propaganda movies it makes you shoot up a school. They started writing stories in Hearst publications about blacks and Mexicans who are taking this marijuana and raping white women. So they put everybody into a fucking fever pitch and then they outlawed it. Wow. Yeah.

That is fucking nutty. And that, it's 2024 and it's still schedule one. That is crazy. I did not know that was her. That's William Randolph her, so that's the guy that Orson Wells was up against. Incredible. Isn't that wild?

Dude, I highly recommend it. It's like the amount of shit talking. I mean, everybody gets, people, it's like basically a podcast but in text, but like people, Richard Burton will like walk up to a mid-interview and he's like, can't you see I'm not talking to someone else Like he's like a psycho, but there's one part where like this guy Henry Jaglam like warships

Orson Welles like he's like he's my hero. He's a genius So I guess he knew Peter Bogdanovich and he goes how about Like setting me up with him. I wrote a movie part that be killed for me He's like he's never gonna do it, but if you want to meet him He's staying at this hotel in New York, so you know, he's like a fucking dude He's like every time he's at dinner wanna meet him, he's staying at this hotel in New York. So, he's like a fucking dude. He's like, every time he's at dinner, he's got an eating problem.

So, I'll have one bite of this, and then he goes back to his room and orders six rabbis and fucking gorgeous. But this guy goes to meet him, and he's like literally knocking on his hotel room door to be in his movie. And there's a guy who's interviewing him in the book. They became buddies, but he knocks on his door,

and he goes, please be in my movie. And he goes, I'll never do a director's first film. Fuck you. I'll never do it. And he goes, you acted in your first film. And he was like, he goes, no, I won't do it. And he goes, you love magic. Please, you know, please do this.

I know you, you, you're an amateur magician. And he goes, never. And then he pauses and he's like, in this film, could I wear a cape? And he's like, yeah. And he's like, all right, I'll do it. That's all it took. He's a fucking weird dude. That's wild. But he, uh, the amount of people he shit talks in the book where he's like, all right, I'll do it. That's all it took. He's a fucking weird dude. That's wild.

But he, the amount of people he shit talks in the book where he's like, fuck, he's like, fuck Woody Allen. And he'll just go on like a, but it's like everything he says, like I love Woody Allen, but everything he says, I'm like, it's pretty fucking funny. What was he saying about Woody Allen? You know that his type of self-deprecation is insincere and you can tell he loves himself.

Ooh. He's like, I don't buy it. I think this guy loves himself. And like, he's like, anyone who's this self-deprecation is insincere and you can tell he loves himself. He's like I don't buy it I think this guy loves himself and like he's like anyone who's this who's this self-deprecating. It's fucking bullshit He loves himself the way he acts on himself. He a lot of stuff like that. Oh shit. I'm like ooh, I like it Not only was he skeptical of Alan's approach to comedy, but he was vehemently averse to the hungry ego it served I hate Woody Allen physically. I dislike that kind of man." He said adding, oh yes, I can hardly bear to talk to him. He has the Chaplin disease.

A lot of people hated Chaplin. Oh, don't, don't say this about Chaplin. Well, you know, a lot of people, I love Fatty Arbuckle. The book about Fatty Arbuckle fucking hated Chaplin. I think they ended up all right, but they were like, he was like Team Buster Keaton. I don't know if you wanna get on Team Faddy Arbuckle. Really? He didn't do it? He didn't do it? He didn't do it.

That's bullshit. Really? Is it bullshit? Yeah, he was framed. Yeah. What happened? Great book called Frame Up. I don't know exactly who framed him. How much of your life savings was he paid off? He was exonerated. Was he? Yeah.

Oh, he was. Yeah, but that's the fucked up thing was we're talking about is if he did it. Oh, and this was 1930 what yeah And you know what the fucked up part is he had to do like four trials to get properly exonerated So eight up his life and he died like a year later from heart attack But no he was dude and his career he created the pie throw Think about how fucking crazy that is fatty Arbuckle invented the pie throw in the face

So what was wrong with Chaplin? I think they thought he was- Is Chaplin like Michael Jordan? No, I think- But seriously, no, I think- If you think about like, you're that guy back then, you're the comedy guy, you're the fucking king of comedy? I don't know, I think he, I think obviously a genius, but I think also, like think of the circles, like he rolled with like Einstein.

Right, but that's what I'm saying. Remember that speech that he gave in that movie, what was it, the circles. He rolled with like Einstein. Right, but that's what I'm saying. Remember that speech that he gave in that movie? What was it? The dictator? What was that movie? I think, I don't know his movies that well, but they're playing it every night at the cellar.

I know him silently. There's a speech that he gave that is relevant today. Like this speech about humanity. Do you remember that? I don't. It's brilliant. It's been a while since I've watched this stuff. I mean, I was more into Buster Keaton personally. Well, Buster Keaton was amazing.

Yeah. The stunts that that guy did, holy shit, man. Broke his everything. He broke everything, dude. That guy was doing wild shit. He was falling off buildings, going through awnings, like legitimately going through awnings. It's through on it's insane See if you can find that Charlie Chaplin speech. I want to get to Buster Keaton, but there's a speech that he did

Do you know what I'm talking about Jamie? Let me see what it looks like. Yeah, that's it. Let me hear this So he's got the Hitler mustache. Yeah, he looks like Hitler. They've added the on Zimmer inception music to this More dramatic Yeah, he looks like Hitler they've added the on Zimmer inception music to this I don't want to be a little more dramatic Do we need to keep the music yeah, okay, no unless you can find one that doesn't have music like this is yeah It definitely does. Yeah fatty our buck was definitely framed though, and he here it is Fatty we got you back from Beyond the Grace. I have to say it's fuck Fatty our buckle. I'll have to say it's not a lot of laughs per minute on that speech. That's a good point.

I don't think that was a comedy. No, no it was but it wasn't but you know. What was the movie? The Great Dictator? What was the movie about? I don't know, I don't know. But that was pretty fucking good. It was good. It was applicable today. It gives you, it actually makes me sad sometimes. Yeah, I mean about machines, holy shit. But also it's like, it was so obvious they saw the writing on the wall.

Yeah. So did Ted Kaczynski, by the way. Yeah, he made a lot of good points when you take out the murder. He did, he take out all the bombings. He was saying the technology was going to replace us. He's right. That's the worst part when these monsters are like, man,

but he obviously was a bright mind. That was a satire? It says 1940 American anti-war political satire, black comedy, black comedy, written, directed, produced, scored by and starring Charlie Chaplin, following the tradition of many of his other films. Wow, he did everything, man. Yeah.

Of course he was a dick. If you're doing all those things, you're Steve Jobs, but you're doing it in a movie. It's the same kind of animal, you know? Oh no, man, I like Louis, you know? Yeah, but he's different. Yeah. Louis does everything, he did everything on Louis.

I'm not saying that it's impossible to be like a cool person and also be all those things. It's just harder to do. You know, I get it. I just, I feel like guys like that probably don't have Charlie Chaplin as friends either. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Which I think is one of the critical things about our occupation is that we're constantly surrounded by people like us. Like we're all kind of very like-minded animals and we have an appreciation for each other

that is very different than most occupations. You know, I have like a reverence for like elite professional comedians. Like I'll do anything for you. Me too, yeah. That's how I feel. I feel like we're all in like a very sacred tribe of there's only like,

I always say there's probably a thousand of us on planet Earth. Yeah. If we're really being kind and generous and giving people like a great amount of curve, the reality is it's probably about 250 that I would want to hang out with that I would say are legit. It's a fortunate, it's fortunate that we get to be part of this fraternity of comics

who are like, who are just very cool and luckily most of the people that I've wanted to meet have always ended up being pretty cool that's not and if they're not it could look there's a there's exceptions the exceptions I think existed in the TV world yeah honestly the exceptions that I encountered I don't want to throw anybody under the bus but there's some people that I like now that in the 2001 I wanted a smack yeah you know there were some people that I like now that in the like 2001 I wanted a smack Yeah, you know there were some people that was like really rude and shitty because there was the culture of being rude and shitty That was almost encouraged like When Phil Hartman came over to news radio from Saturday Night Live. He had this very bizarre

kind of Anticipation of hostility from other cast members. Because he was very highly paid. Obviously, I was infamous at all when I was on news radio. I was a nobody. I had been on one show called Hardball that was on Fox that bombed. It aired like six episodes. And I was the star of the show.

That show got canceled. I got a development deal with NBC. And all of a sudden, like, dude, I had never taken acting lessons. I right, they'd made me take I had to get an acting coach Like I was all of a sudden sitting next to Phil Hartman and I was 27 and he's brilliant Yeah, it's brilliant and I mean like I had never even thought about being an actor They just gave me money and they said do you want to act? I'm like I What do I have to do pretend? I had no experience acting at all.

And I did that show. And then Phil Hartman had this like distrust of all the other people on the cast. And he had like this real arms length thing. And I was always like, dude, you're Phil Hartman. Like, what are you talking about, man? You're the man. Why do you think that was? Saturday Night Live.

He told me. Oh, they're trying to take your throats. Yes, dude. They were cutthroat. They were cutthroat. The pressure that show we played. was Saturday life he told me oh they're trying to take your throat yes dude they were cut throat they were cut throat the pressure that we're back stabby ways like they would get your assistant fired they would do weird shit you you had to you were too close to one of the PAs fucking get him out of here like one of the other cast members would turn on one of the PAs that you'd become friendly with I've heard it's tough screaming at each other in the hallway

fuck you stealing each other's jokes. It was creepy, it was creepy. And so Phil and I became friends, and as we became friends, especially after the first season, because the first season was like really long hours, they were trying to work out the show, and you know, I got to become,

we were hanging out 15, 16 hours a day. We're on the set all the time, and we get to become friends, and then he just sort of loosened up and explained. Like it's like cutthroat, cutthroat environment over there. What a bummer that that's what that does to you. Cause I have obviously a great appreciation for Phil Hartman and like, I thought that was a great show.

And I mean, shit, I was watching, I watched Jingle of the Way on the holidays. I fucking love that movie, Arnold and Sinbad. He was a great dude, Ben He's a great great comic actor He was a funny dude too. He would do stand-up for the he would do warm-ups for the crowd I was just fucking around he would do like is that you know, he had amazing Bill Clinton impression He had a bunch of but he had a black routine. He was like thinking about doing stand-up

But he just was a terrible marriage about doing stand-up. But he just was like, terrible marriage. Terrible. Terrible. And I was the one guy on the show that was like, get the fuck out. Like right now. Yeah, you were like, be honest with her. Tell her what you did and I'm sure she'll take it really well. No, I wasn't even that. It was the opposite of just get away. I know fucking around she would insult him at parties and stuff publicly like like it was gross It was scary. It was like, you know, there's sometimes the people are together and they fucking hate each other But they they for whatever reason do not leave each other. Yeah, and I don't know what it is I don't know what it is. I don't understand it But some people they just get stuck in a pattern. Sometimes they don't see quite how bad it is.

Even when your friends point it out, you don't really see it till you get some distance from that relationship. Well, it's also you learn from your parents, and if you come from parents that beat the shit out of each other, or screaming at each other, throw things at each other, you get accustomed to thinking that's how relationships work, how they function.

It's real sketchy. Bad parenting is so fucking... I was gonna tell you about Faddy Arbuckle. He fucking... His dad walked out. So what did Faddy... I'm sorry, I don't wanna interrupt this part, but I need to know, we should clarify. What did Faddy do?

He was accused of raping and murdering a woman. He didn't do it. Murdering? Yeah. Wasn't it like a bottle broke inside of her? Yeah, that was a fake thing. That was fake? I forgot to, I read this like years ago,

but it's, what was it, Jamie? So how did she get murdered? It was a frame up, I don't know. I don't know who framed him, but someone framed him up. What was the reason for that? I don't remember cuz I've been here years ago, but it's uh, but he is innocent and he was exonerated But if we could find it that'd be awesome But but he was a dude who his dad fucked him up because his dad walked out on the family and like I think the mother was like Mental but he was supposed to be raised by his father.

So he took his dad owned a hotel and they would like take him, take a train to the hotel where your dad is. So his dad hears that he's fucking coming and he sold the hotel and disappeared. So then he just shows up and is like a fat kid, like 13. He's like, what do I do? And they're like, we can give you a job here.

So he started working at the hotel at like 13. And then he finds out he's good by joining the talent show. And they're like, this guy's got an incredible voice. And then he was being silly and funny. Like this guy's like kind of a genius. He starts becoming like an incredible touring performer. And of course, the dad wants back in. Oh, God.

Of course. Classic. But it's like but yeah I Remember being like his wife who he was divorced from was like he's fucking innocent That like they divorced on like not amazing terms and she's like he didn't do shit So what did they frame him for was he becoming too big of a star? I don't was trying to read through this it does it's to to explain the entire story in the Smithsonian article about it. And it's like, it's a long six give and a give.

Yeah, I'm sorry for bringing this up if I don't fully have the grasp on this. No, it's OK. With a brief. That happens every day of my life. OK. There's a party. Where should we start here?

Right, just right up here. OK. According to Arbuckle, Fishbuck arranged everything from the rooms to the guests of the liquor Despite prohibition and on Labor Day, September 5th, 1921 1921 our buckle awoke to find that he had many uninvited guests He was still walking around in his pajamas bathrobe and slippers when he saw Delmont and rap and Express concern that the reputations might alert police to the gin party.

In Los Angeles, Delmont was known as a madam and black mailer. RAP had made something of a name for herself as a model clothing designer, aspiring actress and party girl. Oh, just a regular LA under 30 woman. But the food and booze were flowing by then. The music was playing and Arbuckle was soon no longer focused on his exhausting work schedule. The burns on his backside or just who all the guests were. What happened

in the ensuing hours would play out on the front pages of William Randolph Hearst. There you go again, that motherfucker. National chain of newspapers in lurid headlines before Arbuckle had a chance to tell his side of the story. Virginia Rapp was 25 years old when she arrived at the St. Francis Hospital in San Francisco for a Labor Day weekend party. Hotel, excuse me, I'm going to say hospital. St. Francis Hotel in San Francisco for a Labor Day weekend party. Maude Delmont soon painted a sinister portrait of the happy, go lucky, portly prince of silent film. This is what she told police. After Arbuckle and Rob had a few drinks together,

he pulled her actress into an adjoining room saying, I've waited for you five years, and now I've got you. After a half hour or so Del Maul heard Rapp screaming so she knocked on and then kicked at the locked door. After delay, Arbuckle came to the door in his pajamas wearing Rapp's hat, cocked at an angle and smiling his foolish screen smile. Behind him, Rapp was sprawled on the bed moaning. Arbuckle did, the actress said, according to Delmont. Rapp was taken to another room with Dr. Summard, and he attended to her.

This might take forever for me to read. This was it. She died. That's why I was living there. She died September 9th of a ruptured bladder. So what actually happened though? I don't know. Then I went to the newspapers and then he turned himself in.

Right. And that's where I was like, I think this is where he's getting way too long. Right, but like what was the actual charge with Mansler? That's right, I don't know exactly. So he's charged with Mansler. We have Roscoe Arbuckle and a whole here trying to chase, I think they were trying to blackmail him.

Hmm, we have, okay, hold on a second. There's the matter of the telegrams that she sent to attorneys in both San Diego and Los Angeles We have Roscoe Arbuckle in a hole here chance to make some money out of him. Oh, baby Yeah, okay. They were trying to railroad him. He was making a million a year and 21. That's a lot of What was that? Yeah, so they were trying a million a year in 1921. What was that money? What's that today? That's gotta be like let's guess the doctor That the the hotel testified she had told him our buckle did not try to sexually assault her

But the prosecutor got the point dismissed as hearsay. Whoa. Yeah, I forgot. So what happened? Oh, I Don't know her bladder rupture marks of violence on the body. No signs of girl been attacked in any way Oh, so she might have just had like a shit a chronic bladder condition according to this. Oh, so she might have just died Yeah Fetti our buckle was making a million dollars before we go any further. Let's find out what a million dollars I'm guessing 20. I'm gonna guess more maybe 25. I say 50 million really maybe yeah a million dollars in 2020. I'm gonna guess more. Maybe 25, 30. I'd say 50 million. Really? Maybe, yeah.

A million dollars in 19, 2021 and in 2024 money? You're probably right. I'd say it's 50 million, because inflation is stupid. It says it's about 15.8 million. That's it? Damn. Damn.

Or both off. So he was just only minor ballers. For a while, yeah. Probably because they were balling way harder than them. During that depression, his money would have went down, and then it started going back up. Oh, OK. From the depression? Yeah.

After the 30s, that million he had in 1921 would have only been worth 750K. Oh, wow. 1932 is a 10 years later. If you just let it sit, I guess. Then it went up. Yeah, he was a party animal, but he wasn't a rapist. Or a murderer. So she just had a disease.

And she died of that disease, and they just had him for money. Wow. Dark shit. It's a book called Frame Up. It's really good. It's hard to find. He was acquitted the first trial, and then they tried to get him again, Jerry Dedlocked.

Third trial, R. Buckle was allowed to call witnesses for the first time. Wow. So we got off and he made a comeback but he died like a year after. The Charlie Chaplin thing and that thing makes me say it's always been fucked. Yeah.

I mean it's almost kinda always been fucked. It's the best time for comedians, dude, cause we like, it's not as, at least with comics, it's like more, as you said, it's more fraternal. I mean we're like,'re kind of all cool and There's so much room now. There's so much room with them back down dude The people that are complaining about other comics now. It's like listen figure it out figure I don't figure it out stop stop complaining about other Twitter's not your journal chill the fuck out and neither is Instagram

Stop yeah, stop being stupid. being stupid. Just make it funny if you're gonna do that shit. Just be better than what you are. Figure it out. Or don't. Or stop doing it. Don't choose. I remember, I tell a story that's me once I was complaining years ago and he goes, uh, maybe he said to someone else actually goes, but he goes, get funnier. I like how he said it was at you and then it was like, no, I'm not stupid. I remember it was someone else, but I don't want to use his name because he's a great comic, so I don't want to put it on him, but he didn't mean it like you're not funny. He meant it like you're not funny He meant it like well you get better you better get funnier. Yeah, because what else can you do?

There's nothing else that's all that's in your control Yeah, try to be fucking funny and all the other things that are out of your control the more attention that you spend on them the less Attention you will have towards the thing that you can't control. It's that simple It's like an allocation of resources issue you can't you can't allocate resources things that are completely unproductive And in fact counterproductive they fuck with you psychologically you get up in the middle of the night you go to pee you think about it I fuck and you can't go back to sleep you grind your teeth Yeah, you have to get a fucking dental procedure man. Don't be involved in an unnecessary Conflict it's just not good for you. It's not good for anybody. It's not good for that person

It's not good for you. It's not good for anybody. It's not good for that person It's not good for you It's not good for the people that you're gonna encounter after the conflict is not good for the people they encounter after the conflict There's a butterfly effect that happens with stuff like that. It's pointless and the business is gonna keep changing That's the thing is like this is not what it was 20 years ago in 10 years It's gonna be different like yeah, think about how big I think but there's all the time Comedy Central was the fucking king Mm-hmm. They're useless now. They're useless. It's also going to be different. Like, think about how big, I think, but there's a lot of time, Comedy Central was the fucking king. They're useless now. They're useless. It's also, what's happening now is like a very organic merging of like, you know, for a lack of a better word, artists. Because we are artists, but we're artists. It's like calling a comic an artist. It's almost like, for us, it's like, shut the fuck up. It's not.

It is art, but it's like, it's also, don't get goofy with it. We're not supposed to be the pretentious ones. Right. It sounds pretentious. It does sound pretentious. We are looked down upon at the award shows. Yeah.

Because they are like, we're artists. I say we should look down upon the award shows. When I saw Joe Coy do that award show, I didn't get upset that Joe Coy, his jokes didn't hit. I got upset that he was willing to do it. Joe Coy do that award show, I didn't get upset that Joe Coy didn't his jokes didn't hit I got upset that he was willing to do it Joe Coy sell out arenas Don't do that terrible thing you want you always want to be a part of that club. Don't don't do it I think you have to go handicap you're doing it with ten days notice What kind of that he should have done what kind of goofy ass fucking organizers hire top talent wants to do it

Nobody wants to do it remember shit they Kevin Hart where they were like, you said the word gay? And guess what, you fucking awarded Roman Polanski, like Man of the Year, fifteen years ago, accused of rape. So, not accused, he did it. Will Smith's slaps Chris Rock on stage and then they give him a standing ovation. Disgusting. The whole thing's ridiculous. They're ridiculous people.

The point is, it's fucking shun award shows and it's hard artists I think of a comic asking an audience member are you taking a poop or pee as they're walking to the bathroom we're not artists but the problem is the word art has been hijacked by douchebags yeah we are artists but we're artists in the sense that we create things everybody who creates things as an artist just like a chef is an artist. I bet chefs, probably the pretentious ones, will refer to themselves as artists.

The fucking down-to-earth dudes, who tell you I'm a chef. Those are my least favorite chefs. Exactly, of course. The fucking fine dining chefs, you're like, all right dude, give me something that will fill me up. Just, you know, there's a fine line where you can cross over into pretentious land.

I think the problem is we got into this to be funny and some people lose sight of that and they start pandering like I can tell when a Comic stops fucking touring. I can tell when you're act You stop taking it through Missouri. You got to take it through every fucking state. You got it. You got it You got to make this I don't want to use the word marketable You got to make this palatable for the country. There's a reason if I do a joke about New York It's for everybody if I do a joke about riding the subway. It's hitting in Kansas City Because it has to otherwise you would work in for your small bubble and when I see comics put out specials I can be like this dude only worked it out in LA or New York or whatever

And you need the road because the second you stop relating or remembering what got you into this for the right reason You're doing it for the wrong reason. You also have to remember, when you were first starting out, the idea of being on the road headlining a comedy club would be the craziest fucking dream you could ever imagine. I don't have to go to my day job anymore, now I get to fly to Cincinnati and go do stand-up comedy to pack crowds, two shows on half-pack. Go bananas. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday sometimes. It's a dream. It's the ultimate dream because the idea of being a professional seems so impossible to achieve. I just, yeah, it felt amazing and I romanticized the road

as I still do. Like it was a different thing. It was like, thank God I can do this to now I'm like, gotta hone it. Well, that was the thing about Jenny. You know, when I was first doing the road, one of the things that I would always ask, I was like, who's the biggest douchebag

that you had to take? I asked that too. It was always Jenny. He just hated it. He hated being on the road. He was a douche to people? Yeah, unfortunately. It's just he was very uncomfortable. Like obviously he's... He wanted to be a bigger movie star, right?

He wanted to be a movie star. He's a great actor. Well, he was really good in the mask. Great movie. But really what he was was a great stand-up. But great stand-ups weren't appreciated the way they are now. If Jenny was alive today, he'd be doing arenas. You know? I mean, that's what would be going going on He would be like one of the biggest stand-up comics alive, but during his time No one did anything other than comedy clubs There's a few guys like Sam Kinnison used to do like Greatwood Center for the performing arts Rodney did that Bill Cosby did that but for the most part stand-up comics did comedy clubs and that's it including Jenny And he just felt like a failure when he was on the road

headlining these clubs. What a sad thing. It's crazy. It's crazy. They all wanted the golden egg. And the golden egg was what Roseanne got or what Tim Allen got. It was a sitcom.

That generation doesn't get it. I did a letterman show on Netflix and he was like baffled by me putting out YouTube specials. And not in a way that he was so kind. I mean, he was such a nice guy. But I remember he kept asking me like I don't get how you make money off this Well, I make the money off touring but he's like we gotta understand when I did this shit It was all about the sitcom. Mm-hmm. That was the money Yeah, you know so it's as as we said the industry's changing like a lot of really funny comics were passed over by these industry

Streamers and then did their own thing and then at a certain point they'll find you. The point is to not get bitter. You look at a guy like Shane Gillis and did he get bitter? No, he stayed fucking funny. He got funny-er. Of course. He even got better when he got canceled.

It's just, there's a different world now where there's no gatekeepers anymore. The gatekeepers, they still exist if you want to to participate if you want to do the Comedy Central thing They still exist. Yeah, you know HBO still makes specials You can do it that way if you choose to but the gatekeepers of real mass media are now non-existent It's all just you to so then you have to be careful with what are YouTube's Whatever whatever YouTube's terms of services are Because some of them get real squirrely, and you can get banned.

The goalpost is moving in. It's moving. It's moving. They're changing the rules. Like if you make a Nazi joke now, they're like, did you say the word Nazi? You're like, I was condemning Nazis. Yeah.

There was satirical, but you said the word Nazi in some fucking algorithm that can't detect sarcasm is like, time out. Yep, yep. Not good. Yeah, not good. It's also, it's clumsy, but it's also, you know, they're fucking, you're dealing with an enormous number of human beings.

You're managing at scale that's impossible to really even wrap our stupid little heads around. The amount of humans that are like just, but which really leads us back to that guy's text message getting intercepted. Like, are they just doing that with everything? Because it appears they are. If they're doing that in a Snapchat message group, which is supposed to be encrypted,

and they find the word, I'm gonna blow up this plane, terrorists, whatever, ISIS, Taliban, whatever it is, they see those words. If those words, like if they get flagged, that means nothing is private. Also, you have to recognize, you want, oh, I want everybody to be safe

Okay, right, but those are human beings just like you this like you having the kind of power that it means to have to Access everyone's text messages. That's nuts. That's a crazy power and if you're the guy I mean, okay, how many checks and balances there are there's got to be somebody at the end of that stream They could just read and see all your dick pics. There's somebody at the end of that stream. Take good angles. Yeah. Yeah. Fluff it up.

See every time you swipe right. There's somebody that sees it all. Drake. Yeah. They see everything. And that is probably inevitable. With the bottleneck of technology being interconnectivity, right? And the other problem with that is money. Because if money is just ones and zeros, and it gets to the point where when you get to quantum computing where any sort of encryption is really preposterous, and then people have commercial grade quantum computing in their house, and you could kind of like, there's no code that can't be cracked, there's no Bitcoin that can't be stolen. And then what

happens? Like what happens? Like what happens then? Like how do you have money? How can you trust anything? How do you trust anything? How do we trust anything now when these deep, I'm in so many ads for products that I'm definitely not selling.

That's hilarious. I'm in so many of them, man. People send up to me all the time. Deep fakes and shit? Total deep fakes. But how can you trust not just machines, but any... I remember reading about Leonard Cohn. His manager stole his $5 million retirement fund.

That's why he was torn in the 70s. Happens. Happens all the time. Machines, people, I mean like with money and your information, you're putting a lot of trust in either. Yeah, you're putting a lot of trust in a lot of different things, but also, like, I'm not a communist and I'm not a socialist and I'm definitely pro-capitalist, but I envision a future where all of these things, where I think these mechanisms that we have used

to achieve power and influence and what Will Storz had talked about yesterday, the status game, status, all of these things will eventually lead us to some point in the future where I mean it might, we could get to a point where any idea of competition that we're having right now, what human beings enjoy right now, all goes away. And we all become a part of some network, some network that changes what it means to be a human being. Like human beings stop being human. I think we're not that far away from that.

And if you look at what we are today versus what fatty arbuckle was Imagine you being friends with fatty arbuckle and back in the day and William ran off first But also having a YouTube channel you like William ran off first a piece of shit like this is what he did about marijuana This is what he did about this so they did this we did a fatty arbuckle This is why they did it to fatty this would actually happen It's what a woman had a chronic bladder infection and you know, it could be like a big thing. It could be like something everybody talks about and it gets the ruling overturned. Back then, you had no chance.

As things move on, it'll be more of that. Well, there's pluses and minuses to more people having voices, right? I mean, a lot of minuses. A lot of minuses. There's a lot of crazy people out there. There's a lot of legitimately schizophrenic, insane people, aggressive people, sad people, like abused people, people that came from terrible childhoods, people that came from, you know, every stretch of the world.

And they're all, all they have to do is learn English. And they're just interfacing with you. And they got the worst roll of dice That's available on planet earth. Yeah, and now, you know, they've killed three people by the time they're 15 You know, they can and then they're online. Yeah, and that's that's real too Yeah, I mean it's that's the thing you get into this for acceptance Are you getting to stand up because you like you want maybe, I don't know, maybe you're in your mind, you're like, this wasn't able to be said in my household.

So now in my mind, I'm telling the truth on stage, I'm being funny, I'm making strangers laugh. And you're doing this for acceptance. There was rejection before this. Now it's like the amount of people who could flood your fucking timeline when you make a misstep. It can be overwhelming. I mean, I think of that guy, John Ronson, all the time, right?

So you've been publicly shamed, guy? I mean, people know, you should know what you do when you try to fucking destroy a person, but it is exciting. A lot of people, what they use social media for is to complain and then to try to bury a person. And it's fucking weird. It's just a dumb thing to do do and I think the best thing to do

If you're like a public person like yourself is just like never engage in that and also don't read the comments Yeah, that's my advice my advice is always never engage don't read the comments if you want to post something you feel something about something You want to say something about something that's fine, but don't be upset about people's response to it and exactly Don't part of the game. We put ourselves out there We are but it's also doesn't mean you have to fucking while they're throwing fastballs You have to run across the pitcher and get hit in the head You don't have to actually go out on the field like it is part of the game Yeah, you don't have to do that part that part is not necessary. It's also not good. It's not smart

It's not a good allocation of resources. It's not good psychologically It's not good for the fans either because if you actually, what if they're just having a bad day man and they're fucking 18, they lash out at Sam you know or they lash out at Norman, they lash out at Ari. They're not really bad people but they're writing something and it's permanent, it's out there forever and they said some rude shit and they're trying to get a response and then you come back with the most scathing response and you show pictures of their mom and them and their fat belly and

you shit all over my life. This is going far though. Right. But we've all known people who've done it right and it's just not wise it's not good I've done it before I've experienced that thing of like, fuck you, don't fuck you, you're a fucking loser. No benefit. No benefit. Last message Bob Saget ever sent me, I engage with a fucking psycho and he goes,

hey, it's Uncle Bob here. You're too good a guy to be doing this. Beautiful. All right, P-Bob, sweet guy. He is a very sweet guy. He's a hard one. He was a hard one. I didn't know him well.

We would just be coming friends when he passed away. I became friends with him at the store. Yeah, such a sweet guy It was always a night guy. Oh, he's a nice guy. Oh, he's like real like genuinely warm. They could come around everybody like we need that Yeah, people people who bring positive energy to work. Mm-hmm our fucking So important. I've never met anybody didn't like Sagitt. Yeah, he's always nice, you know, there's like a few guys Well, I don't know anybody who didn't like Sagitt. Yeah. He's always nice. You know, there's like a few guys where I don't know anybody who doesn't like him. Got it. There's something- Bobby Lee's one of those.

Yeah. You don't like Bobby Lee, I don't like you. Bobby is- I don't like you if you don't like Bobby Lee. Is this safe to say? He's maybe the best podcast guest ever. He's amazing. It's insane the energy he brings.

He's so funny. I've known Bobby for 30 years. Damn, I've known him long, but I love him. Close to it. It's probably close energy he brings. He's so funny. I've known Bobby for 30 years. Damn, I've known him long, but I love him. Close to it. It's probably close to 30 years. I brought a friend of mine when he did our podcast. He's an Asian guy I used to live with and he like worships Bobby

and Bobby just fuck with him the whole day. And it was my friend Dory. It was so satisfying for him. He's like, Bobby's like, stop talking to me, fuck you. And it was like, he was like, that was like the best day of my life He's such a good guy too because he's like so honest about all of his like weirdness Yeah flaws and like you know how he thinks about himself and so vulnerable

Yeah, I was also very funny man, and he's getting ready to do a special finally. I've I Actually, I think it was when he was on your podcast I text him I was like you better put out a fucking special dude and And he goes yeah, why and I said him, I was like, you better put out a fucking special, dude. And he goes, yeah, why? And I said, you know why? Cause you're fucking hilarious. And because you deserve it. You deserve to release something

and to move on and to suffer a little bit. He's a much better comic than people know in terms of like the amount of tickets he sells. Bobby Lee should be doing arenas. And he just did an arena with Bert and Tom. He just did the MGM in Vegas. But it's cause he's not releasing it. So now he's releasing it.

This is how it is, yeah. It's like his level's very high. There's a few of those guys out there. Their level's very, very high. They just don't have a lot of stuff out there. He's told me he's scared to eat the shit to build a new hour. And let me tell you, like, I'm thinking

when I burn this next one, I am dreading the shit out of this. Like, I hate starting from scratch. Yeah, man. Just gotta embrace it I don't embrace it. It's fun get in there get in there. It's like jumping in a cold-ass pool. Yeah, I fucking hate it But I got to jump in the pool. Yeah, do it every day Yeah, just just embrace the suck. That's all it is. It's all there's a few of those guys out there That's just they just need a little a few of those guys out there that just need a little gentle nudge to get into the water and then Bobby Lee will have a new hour in no time.

Because he'll have to. And it'll be better than his hour before because it'll be more representative of how he feels about things right now. And his life is interesting. Yes, he's fascinating. And he's too self-loathing. I'm sorry, Bobby.

You gotta love yourself a little more because he's loved that guy. He is loved but he needs friends around him and the problem with a lot of us is that we can become islands. I always describe comedians as islands or tribe members. Yeah. And there's a few of those islands out there that like only have like one opening act for they take with them. They only do theaters and they travel around and every now and then they get to be around comics like us. Like hey so let's look at the club. You know, it's weird.

There's a few of those guys. I don't want to name names. But there's a few of those guys. I don't think it's healthy. I don't think it's a healthy existence. That's literally why I'm still calling it the seller because I just want to see the people and I love Liz, the manager, and I love SD. I can't wait to show you the club.

I can't wait to take you to the club. Because we set it up as best we could to facilitate facilitate all that to make it so that's like the best Environment for comics to hang the best environment to come for comics to work Everything set up the staff is magnificent. I've heard nothing great stuff. It's great man. It's it's amazing It's but it's also entirely set up for the comics on entirely There's not one decision that ever gets made That's to the detriment of the show or the comics feelings.

Most comedy clubs that were made by a comic are often like a comic who quit and has got some bitterness and you're not that guy, so you made it the right way is whatever. Well, you know, the best aspects of the store were beautiful. And there's so much of the store that the mothership will never be able to have because the store had this history This insane history and this legacy to it of kinnison and prior and so and Hicks started there Hicks was a doorman And there's so many great great great great great comics that came out of that place And so it was it's now you know mitzvah. There's a reason why I have her on my wall The reason why he Why we named the bar Mitzis.

It's like, so we took her philosophy and we just threw a Spotify budget at it. I love it. Let's go ham. Let's do something good for the community of comedy and create what Louie calls it the Alamo. I love it. Yeah, I said, yeah, it's like, that's the thought behind it.

It's like, let's do it. Like, like if I can do this and like I can do this and I don't feel any pressure It doesn't bother me at all. I mean I feel pressure like with like Staff stuff and shits this is happening or something wrong with the ACU There's a little bit of that every now and then but it's not bad But it's not financial pressure Which is the most intolerable pressure when you don't think you can pay your bills You're worried especially if you're a father you're like shit So that pressure is alleviated then you can do something that you really want to do and I'm like I want to really do it like

Fucking Disneyland for comics. I want to set it up So that it's the best environment ever for people to be able to develop and create and even people starting out like the doorman the door people the door women They're all auditioned by Egett. So you get he auditions of me. See they're hacked. So they're all comics He cares and they get to see Shane Gillis go up You know, they get to see how he Mandel stopped by and Jim Gaffigan stop by and David Teldu sets and the shows that I'm doing on like Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday is fucking Ron White's out there, Brian Simpson, it's crazy. Tony Hinchcliffe, I mean these are murderous shows, they're murderous shows.

It's all of them. And so these people get to see how we're writing and how we're coming up with new shit and how we change things up and it's like this, you get an education that we got at the store. We all got that at the store from watching the guys who were there before us. The big names, when I was 27 and I first came to the store and I'd see Damon Wayans go up and Eddie Griffin go up.

Beast, right? What was Wands and his prime as killer right now? Underappreciated man. The last stand, Damon Wayans is a HBO special funny That's when he went to the crowd right it's when he threw the mic down. He said he's quitting That guy is a real professional Yeah, sense of that he films every one of his shows he has since the 90s He sets up his own video camera on a tripod and he films every one of his shows

Workout shows any show and he films every one of his shows, workout shows, any show. And he is not scared of silence. That fucking, I used to watch him go up, but I was a kid, first of all, I was a fan of his from In Living Color. Call me the clown. I was a fan of his stand up. I'd seen him on the Robert Townsend thing.

Remember Robert Townsend had those stand up shows? Of course, hilarious guy. So I was a fan of his already and then I got to see him work out like at the store in front of like 3050 people, you know small ass OR crowds and he just didn't give a fuck he just will find a bit he would find where it is He'd he'd like search around for it didn't worry at all about the dead spots didn't worry at all Just he's like that's my workout when a comic is earned that it's a beautiful thing

Oh, it's a beautiful thing, but it's also the store was low pressure back then like the way you were describing the seller Where you're going on after murders. It's very tough. Well, even the young comics. They're so good There's young comics. There's like a young comic named Maddie Wiener. She's so funny There's young Daniel Simonson so funny all these comics're like... Hungry. They're just murderers. And so then you're following them with your new shit and you're like, all right. So I was on a flight coming back here and they're like, what are you doing?

They can sniff the new one you. So I do most of my work on the, what I like to do is like an hour of good jokes. And then I'm like, all right guys, now I'm doing 10 minutes of brand new shit. Oh, you do it at the end? I'll preface it. Oh, interesting.

I like to just say here's my, because sometimes it, and then I get the confidence to just work it in. Yeah. If it's killing. You're already killing. Yeah, so I get the confidence, and then I'll just, I'll mold it in once it's, once I get that confidence that it's hitting. Right.

But yeah, man, the seller is tough. I remember starting there, like the guys who were really murdering, you know, obviously when rock would drop in, or like Louis, or Colin Quinn and David Tell were kind of the godfathers of the seller. They were, you know, always had new shit. They were always interesting. Colin Quinn's another guy, criminally underappreciated.

He really is, and I don't know why, because the shit is, I think it's so universal, the history stuff, and the New York story. I mean, I love Colin's stuff. Williams at the club all the door guys like dude. It was like an education He's so good and he's a great guy. He's a great guy and he's honest as hell Yeah Well, that's the same with the tell like sweetheart guys because they don't have any excess energy That's being like distracted into nonsense and bullshit and that's a big factor

I learned so much from Mattel because I used to open for him and he's like just the best guy and like supportive and I remember a lot of diners leaving him, like you know we leave a diner at like 4 a.m. and he orders a nice coffee large and I'm like Dave, what are you doing? Are you just, do you never sleep?

Like he really is, I'm like you are this fucking dude. He functions on coffee and cigarettes. And when he was doing that show insomnia incredible show Oh my god, that's how it was a great show and he was like it was like rugged board a skanks for the memories It's still one of my all-time favorite. I think it's number one CDs. I think it's the best album ever It's a great album man It's up there with some of the all-time greats and he recorded that at the comedy works in Denver Which is one of the all-time legendary legendary and he recorded that at the Common Works in Denver, which is one of the all-time greats. Legendaries.

Legendary room. Gerardo did his last, or did his first one there, I think. Did I tell you? I didn't tell you. Didn't you do a special there? Mm-hmm. Yeah, 2014 did Comedy Central special there. Nice.

I had the most bizarre moment. I went to see Willy Wonka in the Chaka Factory with my kids. The new one? Yeah, it's really good. I take a leak. I'm leaving the bathroom, and I run into this dude. And for two seconds, I think it's Greg Geraldo. He looks exactly like Greg Geraldo.

He's just taller. He's like 6'1", 6'2", but he's Greg Geraldo. And I go, what's up? The guy goes, what's up to me because it was me? You know he's like oh, it's Joe Rogan, and I'm like hey, and I go come on. Greg's dead. It's not Greg So it like it had to like wow I reckon that what a mind fuck that a mind fuck dude cuz for in my mind for a half a second I thought I saw my friend

That's brutal for half a second my friend has I saw my friend. That's brutal. For a half a second. My friend has been dead for half a second. And he recognizes you. That's crazy. It was crazy. It was crazy. You know what his son is doing?

Stand up, Greg Giroldo Jr.? Well, I know. I didn't know that. And he's funny. Really? He's in New York? He's a New York guy and he was a waiter at the cellar for like a summer job. Oh, Shane told me about this guy.

So he asked me to do a show and I was like, I'll do your show. And he put himself on before me, and I watched him. I was like, thank god you're fucking funny. Yeah, right? Thank god, but he is. And he's got, he looks like him, and he's got the mannerisms. Well, Gerardo was like revered by us, but he's not so funny, I mean, not so known

that it puts pressure. He's very funny,. I mean not so known that it puts pressure. It was very funny obviously But not so known that he puts pressure on his son To other people. I don't I don't take the world He wasn't like mainstream as he should have been like Chris rocks kid, but Chris rocks kid does stand up like holy shit, right? Yeah, but Drawed when I did But, Gerardo and I did sitcoms in the same lot. Wow. Yeah, so when I was doing, I think it was News Radio,

it might have been hard, I think it was News Radio. When I was doing News Radio, I was right next door to him. So we would hang out together. Like, we were both guys from New York, we both knew each other from Boston Comedy, we both knew each other from the clubs in New York. And, you know, we were like, dude, can't believe we're here. Like, this is crazy.

He had his own show, he a show the lawyer one lawyer show Because he was a lawyer. Yeah, like that was the thing back then like you would sell whatever you were I'm really into tools like They'd make a sitcom around you. Yeah, and that's like that was there. That was the thing that they would do You know Domestic goddess Roseanne, make a show about you. Basically when you were on stage back then you were auditioning for a sitcom about yourself and people got giant deals man. They got crazy deals. We used to hear about the Montju... just for last Montreal

Fest. So like did you get a holding deal? I'm like I got an agent. Yeah, they... Back in the day it was like a million dollar deal. Not that much, but you get hundreds of thousands. I didn't do another show, After News Radio, for like two years, and I made more money than I did when I was on News Radio. Why? I was just getting development deals.

Wow. Development deals were crazy money. They were trying to... Yeah, because after news radio, like, I could... it was like proven that I can act in a sitcom. Yeah. But could I run a... could I be the star of a sitcom? So I had a bunch of development deals to star in a sitcom. And I got to experience that world, which is a very bizarre world. But I didn't like it. I didn't like the dealing with all the meetings and all the things. So when Fear Factor came along, I was like, hold on. No't like the dealing with all the meetings and all the things so when fear factor came along

I was like hold on no actors no writers at all like what do I And also this is an opportunity for material because this is gonna get canceled and I'm gonna have a giant bit about this fucking stupid show They sick dogs on people and made a meet dicks and they in the show got canceled and then it goes on forever It goes on for six years and it's 148 episodes. It was so nuts. Wow. But I specifically did it because I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to do the fucking, the grind of what it means to...

I don't know how actors do it. I mean, just the waiting around, the waiting for your phone to ring. Well, it's better than working in a coal mine. Of course, but I mean... That's what they do. I just mean psychologically. Of course, it's a great... If you can make a living at it, that's better than working in a coal mine. Of course, but I mean, I just mean psychologically. Of course, it's a great, if you can make a living at it, that's incredible.

Also, you're dealing with people that are psychologically damaged already, most likely, which is why they need exorbitant amounts of attention, which is why they wanna be the fucking star in this new Laura Croft movie. Like, this is a normal thing, like for psychos. Like you got ignored by your dad, and now all of a sudden you're in this fucking crazy movie.

I'll show you, pop. And guess what, ain't gonna fucking fill the void. It never does. You think it will, but it... You gotta fill that void on your own. Exactly. But I do think that it's possible for someone, because I definitely think that I came into comedy

with like a neediness. Like I just was just like trying to like show that I was worthy of something. And then eventually you get confident and then you realize like, well, it's not like this can't be turned in a different direction. And then my obsession could now be in getting better at this art and getting better at this thing that I love, this thing that I enjoy. That's like a really good exchange between audience I enjoy, that's like a really good exchange

between audience members and comic. It's a really good exchange. I particularly like it, like as a fan, like I really love watching comedy still to this day. All these years of doing it. So I know it's a good experience. Do you still watch specials? Yeah, I'll do occasionally.

If I'm home and I have time, I just don't have any time. My time is like really kind of strictly allocated. You know, and when I need to shut my brain off, I don't watch specials. I watch nonsense. I either watch like professional pool matches or watch videos on muscle cars. That's what I watch. That's cool.

Stupid shit. I do it on purpose. I was watching Reacher last night. I'm like, I need shit like this. Yes! I need a dude who just beats dudes up. Yeah,'t lose. He can't lose gonna fuck you up. Yeah Well, he's a real Reacher too if you read the book like that's what Yeah, but you gotta take the A-list guy and I get it

Charlize you're taking the A-list you have to but he's supposed to be a giant Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. That doesn't make any sense. The guy who plays Reacher now, who's that guy? Alan Richardson. He's awesome. That guy's Reacher. He's jacked. Perfect.

Perfect guy for that. Fucking enormous. Perfect guy, and you believe him when he's like spouting all that all smart shit? I don't know who's still talking shit. Every episode someone's talking shit, I'm like, have you looked at him? But that's reality, dude. I've seen people talk shit to some of the most scary fucking human beings that have ever existed.

He's a big dude. He's fucking That's a understatement. He's likable. He's a likable guy on the show. He's gigantic. Look at the size of him He's like six foot five too. He's huge. He's huge. That's what Jack Reacher was in the novels. Yeah You're Napoleon Yeah, Tom Tom Cruise is I gotta say though the first Richard movies're not fucking Tom Cruise. But he's a bad, Tom Cruise is, I gotta say though, the first feature movie was pretty cool with Tom Cruise. He's good in it. It's just like it's not the same as the book.

If you can just get past that, and this guy's just an assassin, like the Gray Man, you know the Gray Man series. The Gray Man. Which one's the Gray Man? The Gray Man, was it Ryan Gosling? Did I fuck that up? I get it right, I get it right.

Which one's Gray Man? It's, well they made a movie for Netflix. But the book, these Mark Greeney books are wild. They're good. They're wild books Yeah, that's one of my favorite kind of books for like complete escapism. Oh, yeah, it's about a CIA assassin and He's the best they call him the gray man. This is the movie the movie is oh Chris Evans. I heard of yeah The movies are they fucking Hollywood it up but the books are incredible and the audio books are really good and it's um but that guy was like 170 pounds just a killer he's not fucking everybody up

like you know a bar fight like no it's a different kind of guy this is a guy who knows how to be an assassin but it's a realistic if you especially you read the book realistic depiction as far as you can take it of a guy who knows how to be an assassin, but it's a realistic if you especially you read the book Realistic depiction as far as you can take it of a guy who always wins. Yeah, you know, but it's it's those are fun No, those like escapists like like a Michael Connelly or something just like cool bad ass We're trapping this guy's world This guy's trying to make it through fucking eastern block countries with a cache of weapons and it's fun Yeah, they're they're wild and a lot of weapons and this is... It's fine. Those are page trainers, yeah. They're wild.

And a lot of it has to deal with stories that are like actually connected to covert operations that happen overseas. Because there really are people that are assassins for the CIA that they have to send to these countries. Even the bookstore though, and you see some of these authors and they have like 45 books.

And you're like, how the fuck did you do that? I know. Think about how hard it is to write one book. I think Mark Greeney has, I think he's got six or seven Greyman books. It's crazy. Yeah. How many Greyman books are there? I was in the book, this guy Harman Coban, I swear to God this guy's got like 45 books in Barnes and Noble.

How about Stephen King? It's in, how is he still doing it? That motherfucker's been cranking them out. Yeah, it's called cocaine and alcohol that's what he had Though doesn't he mean he must have people Chinese kids no In the beginning King and iPhones the fucking bang I hate to encourage alcoholism and drug abuse But that's when he did his best work. Yeah, if you go and read the shining he was blackout drunk. Yeah, Mark Greenie book 13 That's crazy. That's a chaos agent. Mark Greeney, book 13! That's crazy, man.

The Chaos Agent, this is a new book that just came out. Dude, they're good books, man. I'm gonna pick these up, yeah, I'm gonna try it. They're great in audio, too. The audio book is really good, but if you like to read, they're really good. They're just like, for like, take me away. This is like a modern day James Bond type dude.

Yeah, it's fucking nonsense. Or a flight, you're on a flight. I don't wanna read anything about climate change. I don't wanna freak out about the economy. I don't want to freak out about the economy. I don't want to the world economic disappear the Rockefellers I don't want to hear about it military industrial complex stop You need an escape stop. What's really going on there? I don't want to know I don't have time. I'm gonna be dead soon anyway. Let's just enjoy the ride. Yeah for sure I mean realistically if this is all true if you're not living in a simulation

But I'm not convinced anymore, I don't know I'm not convinced If I was living in a simulation and I was living in a simulation that was created just a hundred years from now I don't think I'm capable of discerning. I can barely tell a deep fake now. Somebody sends me a deep fake. There's one deep fake that's been overwhelming my Instagram feed and I do not understand how Instagram can't stop this, but it's a deep fake with Warren Buffett talking about investing in Bitcoin. Oh my god. That's like a dangerous one too. Let me show you it. Let me show you it because there's so many of them. There's so many of them, it's fucking insane. There's so many of them that I,

every time I go to Instagram, I see them. See that all one that says the giveaway with the girl's face? Yeah. That's all a deep fake. Oh my God. Yeah. And how does the information, how does this not get somehow another flagged?

Because if you just say the word Nazi you get flagged off of YouTube, right? I mean, I don't know tick-tock YouTube They're clamping down for sure like what you were just saying earlier. Yeah, so how how do they not flag flag this down? I'm gonna send it to you because it's a more obvious flag if there's a trigger word as opposed to just a fake video These accounts appear to be Operating in a coordinated network as they mass upload the same crypto videos under obscure hashtags See the one that I sent you Jamie because this one in particular this one just overwhelms my feet I see it constantly and

The one that I just sent you it's like I just don't understand how you can't stop that But it's a different image on the The first image when you click on it I keep seeing this thing is like you know you just keep seeing the same image over and over again And you know that's it this Bitcoin thing. So give me some volume on this so I can hear this is fake. Yeah 100% good So you get can you refresh it only up look five minutes ago? Yeah, they're listen. They're constant man I can't take care of them. This right keep up about $12,000. I promise to give away my fortune, and I'm doing it Not miss the opportunity that will change your life

So it's a Bitcoin current more and Warren Buffett, can you tell us about your spontaneous decisions lately? Yes, of course. I am launching a Bitcoin giveaway take part. If you want to change your future, go to the website, hellweds.com, enter promo code gift and enjoy your prize of zero points. Wow. Yeah. So there's like, I don't know how many accounts that are uploading that same thing over and over and over and over. Yeah. So there's like, I don't know how many accounts that are uploading that same thing. So easy to do. And over and over and over. Yeah. If you. There's a certain percentage of this country that has an IQ of 85 and under. Right. What did we say it was? Was it 16%? Yeah. It's standard deviation or whatever. 16% that have no chance. 16% that have no chance. They have no chance. It's Bushwick Bill versus Mike Tyson.

There's no chance. The world is too cruel. It's too difficult to navigate. They're not going to make it. They're going to drown. So with those people, they might have a job or they might have social service money. They might have some way that they can.

I'm going to invest in Bitcoin. I'm going to make my way out of this mess. This guy's moron. He can't help himself. He's got a nine watt brain. it's never gonna change. It's never gonna get stronger Genetically, he's fucked supposed to be a ditch digger and then they get him Yeah, they get 50 bucks from that guy and a hundred bucks in this guy a thousand bucks from that guy and five thousand from this moron How did they get away with it though? Isn't there a way to track this?

I think they just do it from other countries and they do it with so many different accounts and they do it to a separate website. It's another video. Just put the first stuff on it, put it on the TikTok. No, it's the same exact video, same exact audio. Look at this, but it says Warren Buffett has decided to whiten his reputation by just giving money away at the end of his life. May sound fun, but don't lose the fucking opportunity.

Oh, look at that. So that's like, they're tricking you to getting mad at him for being rich, and it's a different website. So there's probably thousands of these websites, and they're probably all the money goes into the same account, and they're probably extracting, who knows how much money from how many morons. It's also, I remember hearing this recently,

not how recently this was, but a couple years ago that as the rest of the world has been coming online and getting access to broadband internet and faster and faster and like we've had for like the last 15, 20 years, all the scams that we've been having happen to us or not happening en masse to them, like the Nigerian Prince game, if you will.

That's like the most famous one, someone reaching out. Now they're using deep fakes to do that, but it's happening to the people that just got the internet. They'll get people for a while. Oh yeah forever. Yeah. They're getting us today. Yeah. People are always getting got by these fucking stupid things. There's always something that comes along, whether it's you know fucking the crypto guys from the Bahamas, FTC. I mean how many people did they get?

They got very intelligent people. So many. You look at people who are just catfishing, I'm like, you're just doing it for the love of the game. Catfishing is still just. That's a fucking weird one. That's a sport. That's a sport.

Yeah, it's like catching release fishing. Yeah. You don't get anything out of it. You just like, you just win. You just love to dupe someone. You love to dupe some sad kid from Syracuse. Or some fucking horny athlete. Wow, yeah.

What's his name? Fucking, that was a great Netflix thing. Man, they tell you, do you see that shit? Oh, I heard about that one. Man. How'd they get him? Just like a sweet kid too. It was some woman who was like, wouldn't meet him.

But he's like a college athlete. He's too busy anyway. And then, you know, you got to meet the person though. I a college athlete. He's too busy anyway. And then you gotta meet the person though. I think something happens when people connect with people online where you develop this like very bizarre attraction to them because you don't really know them yet in person. Sure.

You're communicating back and forth and you're both putting forth your best face. And if you're a young athlete who's like football player and this lady's saying all the right things Untold the girl out of touch like she's like you like she's yeah, he didn't know I mean he's like a sweet kid too you see and by the way like There's a Netflix thing on him and you're like he comes out looking great and the and the guy you catfish and you're like This is a psychopath. No, no more right. That's terrible person

The idea is that you're allowed to do that to a person you don't even know because that person is famous. Like, you're allowed to destroy their life and do something horrible to them just because they're famous. That's crazy. But also, you also have to deal with like why couldn't he see that coming? Why didn't he, why couldn't he recognize? And then you have to take into account.

He's a kid. Yeah, and he's a football player. Okay? You know, you're colliding heads with people all the time. Yeah. All the time. All the time. You know?

It's not healthy. Football is, football is probably the most dangerous sport there is. I mean, when you look at like the blackouts and the CTE, like what offensive linemen have to deal with, I think it's probably the most vicious sport we have. I think it explains Shane Gillis. I do. I'm not kidding.

I think that explained Kinnison. Did he play football? No, he got hit in the head by a car. That's right. Yeah. So did Roseanne. There was a comedian on Kiltoni a lot recently that he was funny.

He's a new, he's a young guy from Austin, but he was telling a story recently over a pandemic. He fell off of a balcony and landed on his head, broke his face, all his teeth are fake. And I was like listening to them, like, oh, this isn't gonna be another guy. He's probably gonna be a hilarious comedian, but life probably changed because of a head injury.

Well, it's not guaranteed you're gonna be funny. No, no, no. I'm not recommending you hit by a car. No, he didn't do it on purpose. This isn't Spider-Man. You gotta fucking. It happened is what I was saying. You're trying to nail it? You're like, let me just fucking hit my head proper. No, that's not do it on purpose. This isn't Spider-Man. You got to fucking... It happened is what I'm saying. You're trying to nail it?

You're like, let me just fucking hit my head proper. No, no, no, that's not how I said it. That's not how I meant it. Yeah. You're either going to be a fucking... You're either going to be mentally challenged or you're going to be fucking a pretty solid open miker. Yeah.

We'll see. I think I attribute some of my success to brain damage. Yeah? Yeah, that's probably something there. You take a lot of hits? Yeah, for sure. But it's enough that I'm cognizant, I'm aware, but I also have a level of don't give a fuck that's probably not healthy.

It might be healthy. But it needs to be managed all the time with strenuous exercise and voluntary difficult things like cold plunge and sauna. I need to do stuff. I need to like. You need to be active. You're a do stuff. I need to like maybe act it needed You're a doer. I need to force this brain into like violent activities on a regular basis

If I can keep it in check, but I think there's a certain amount of brain damage. It's not bad It's just a touch. Just a touch of autism touch brain damage. Hmm. I think you made comics healthier No, that's good. I think you made comics healthier. No, that's good. I think you did. You made me want to be healthier. That's good. When I was here last time and I was like, yeah, I gotta take care of myself, holy shit.

You were so nice about that, that I was like, yeah, I should fucking, I should watch this a little bit. You gotta think of your body as your vehicle. And if you have a Nissan GTR, you could take a GTR and you could put a fucking big-ass turbo and it'd make 900 horsepower. Why wouldn't you do that? Wouldn't it be better if it works better? It's faster. Why some of the strip-mulling Indianapolis? That's why.

Yeah, but still, you want energy. No, you're right. The energy of your mind is directly connected to the energy of your body. We want to pretend that it's not because there was a time of intellectual snobbery where taking care of your body was thought as vain and Stupid it's a morons approach. No, you really you made people healthier I think and in a way where you're like no, it's this is smart. This is we need I'm pushing 60 I'm 56 years old. You don't look it. I mean but that that's possible

I just don't do anything crazy that other people can't do too You can do it You just have to be on top of it and you have to not let your body degrade because once your body degrades Building your body up is very very very very very hard, but maintaining your body is not as hard Yeah, you just have to be like really dedicated to it the same way you're dedicated to brushing your teeth Same way dedicated to eating food. Don't you eat food every day? Yeah. Yes, that's because you have to, right? Stay alive. You also have to exercise. You should exercise at minimum five days a week, I think. I think that's smart. I mean, look, when we were on the road, we did a tour bus last

year a few times and like we'd be out 14 days or whatever at a time. Every day we would wake up in a new city. We'd hit a rec center. Beautiful. We'd play basketball. Nice. We'd do whatever. We'd steam. We'd shower. We'd get breakfast. Good way to start the day. Then we had to start the day great way to drink at night, but guess what? We sweat at the fuck out yeah take some electrolytes get some liquid IV pound it pound some vitamins and gluten Yeah, you can mediate it and you can also like give your body

more of a chance to be robust while you're traveling and avoid sickness and avoid of a chance to be robust while you're traveling and avoid sickness and avoid Fatigue and all the shit that fucks with bad shows when you have that feeling backstage We feel like shit and you gotta go on stage. I hate a terrible feeling to show I mean back in the day three shows remember the three show night. Oh my god three show nights are so squirrelly for me because I'm a marijuana proponent and I would often forget that I bring this up already. This is the third show is the second show So it's fucking hard But if you're high and then when you lock in like when you lock in and you do and stand up you're just in it

Right, you're in those bits But then if you're free ball and which often you're likely to do if you're doing three shows you want to make it interesting So you mix up the order and you're like oh my god, I don't know where I'm going with this Will you find new bits. Yes. And also I would do like start with coffee and with booze. Like, ride the caffeine high. Like today. Exactly.

If I'm doing something long, I want to feel both highs and I want to feel good. That's a good move. I want to enjoy myself. That's why I'm terrified of Adderall. I'm terrified of any stimulants. Stimulants scare the shit out of me. They work. Yeah.

I used to take it all the time and holy shit, I might have to when I start writing a new fucking hour. I like them. Are they good for creativity? I love it. Because I block out, I just focus. I already have voices in my head. What kind of voices?

Just like joke idea, joke idea. So when I'm writing, it's too much and I can't write, but if I pop an ad roll, I can focus on, I read an article, I'm like, what's funny about this that'll warm warm me up listen to my set I'm gonna I'm gonna struggle to write a new fucking Out what's the what's the dose? I don't remember it's uh I gotta get new ones actually all my shit you get a prescription I do yeah, that's good. Yeah, you don't want to get it from the cartel I Don't want that shit. I know people who do I know people who get street drugs that take a street Molly like what are you doing? I need to get back I haven't had in a while because I've been kind of honing this hour, but when I need a new hour

Fucked I'm just dreading it that starting at zero dude. Yeah, but you always do it you always do it But it's it's always it's a wonderful terrifying feeling because you have to be a rookie all over again like people know you Well, they're they love you their fans and they come to see you and you're a rookie It's crazy to suck again I'm like man, and it's also good you're coming up the high of murdering because you're at last hours Like you with your peaks or they're just as good as I get yep, and then it's gone and you're like I'm shit Yep, I'm fucking shit. That's the game we play my friend, but I love it. Yeah, it's beautiful So you're gonna film your thing in March. Yeah, right and then it'll come out around May

Hopefully we'll see what you'll come back. We'll promote it. I would love that. Thank you 100% always great. You're awesome dude. Thank you very much appreciate your brother. All right, man Social media website. Yeah, and you and I got I'm doing a new thing called punch up dot live slash Samaral my name and that's like a mailing list that I've been doing. I've been putting like new shit. Spout out the people sitting there and fucking out. Punchup.live slash uh, S-A-M-M-O-R-R-I-L and it's like a place where I just put new shit that's like that you two will flag.

So like I'll put like a more offensive joke there sometimes I'll do whatever but it's like a fun place and in exchange just give me your email so I can blast when I come to your city. Beautiful. Beautiful. That's a good move That's very smart. That's very smart. All right, and then all the tour dates are up there. Yeah, I'm an Irvine I don't know what's coming out of her over added shows we saw like city wise guys another awesome club I'll probably add a late Thursday there too, but I'm probably Irvine awesome fucking club. Love we had a 330 there

That was never been a brick town in Oklahoma. So I guess great. Yeah, I love it Yeah, this is like a really good network of solid clubs. I only do really good rooms at this Thank God I'm at a place right now where I can only kind of choose the good ones But yeah, then Wilbur is gonna be Wilbur's father was awesome We'll was like three comedy clubs like in front of each other cuz he's so shallow, but it's stacked. That's a great room All right, Sam appreciate you room. All right, Sam, appreciate you brother. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody.

All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody.

All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody.

All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody. All right, bye everybody.