The Joe Rogan Experience - #211 - Ari Shaffir (Part 2)

Episode Date: May 1, 2012

Joe sits down with Ari Shaffir.

And we're back to wrap it up. We just stepped outside, sacrificed the sacred plant to the fire gods. We try to put Brian in a better state of mind. I think you feel like a lot of people are attacking you. I get attacked a lot nowadays. I know you do. We talked about that earlier, but we're not attacking you.

And one of the things that I think that's real important that I brought up earlier is be generous to a point where it's indefensible. Be generous to a point where people know that what you're doing is you're doing it all for the right reasons. I think if you're a listener, you know that already, what I do for comedy. And that was the one thing

I started screaming at Duncan was like, you don't understand how much I do for comics. My free time is devoted to 100% of doing shit for free for other comics. Now, if they don't see that... I would tell you this though, but there's a lot of clubs over the years that have had this theory that well you're lucky to be getting the stage time and A part of comedians. We don't respect ourselves. We're like absolutely you're actually right, but that other part is like fuck

Yeah, but I'm also not driving to Pasadena fucking if we're editing audio software for you I'm not fucking doing all this shit because that's not the same as saying like yeah You should listen bro what you're doing. You know I mean listen be listening bro what you're doing you know i mean listen this is what you're doing you set up a beautiful thing okay that ain't bad there's nothing wrong with it and you know when i ask you about how many shows you want just to sort of illuminate people as to what you're doing okay i like what you're doing i like a lot of shows that come out of what you're doing but i think that we have to always be very careful that if there's any money that's ever taking place in any sort of a thing where you're selling comedy,

comedians get super defensive and super sensitive when you're selling a show and the comics are going to go up and do their stand-up and they're not going to get compensated from it but yet they know that money is exchanging hands. If it was a show that people didn't use as a workout room for the most part these are people that just like fucking around like not not actually like I'm selling and plus the fact that there's like seven or eight people usually on

each one of these shows I think it's a little different than if I were like hey me Ari and you are doing a show at the Hollywood in scales it's definitely you wouldn't get to do that first of all the reason why you get to control this money at all is because I gave it to you. Because I'm not paying you to rent that place out. And since then, I'm like, look, I'll give you all my money from my shows. So the shows will sell. The shows I do are 90% of the shows that go on there.

Well, I do them every week. You say you're not there every week. Okay, let's not say 90%. It's more than half. More than half. And it's more than half. More than half. It's probably like 70%. And it's more than pays the rent. Right.

The idea being that I think when a comic knows that you're, even if you're only making $150 to a comic that's like, why doesn't he make $50 and give us $50? That's how they think. You're selling stand-up comedy. This is why the fact that you guys are doing all this, to me, I'm like, all right, bottom line, each one of these shows for going in there and being there for five hours, for going in there and putting together all these comics, putting up advertising and making posters for it, all this shit, if it's not worth $150, if it's not worth $150, then I'm not doing it. If I'm getting this much trouble for $150, fuck it then.

I'm not doing it. Hold on, hold on, hold on. At $15 a ticket, $150, even at 60%, that's 20 tickets. I'm saying the average after tax that I get after paying the host in comics or whatever is usually about 150 bucks well look if you're spending money paying the comics and you feel good about that and you can you know you could sit down with them and say look i'm because you know what the only reason what it is it's whoever you heard it from or whatever whispers you heard it from and duncan for some reason who's been on

one show i think 15 yeah but but Duncan's been on one show I like it we like the 15 bucks we get at the comedy store right yeah it's just like oh cool it's something nominal to say I get it you're wanted I get it man I get it but I'm just saying that after that I know what you're saying you're saying that you it's not worth it to me I don't you're saying you doing a good thing by creating this spot for them to warm up and they don't appreciate that and that if you're not at least getting something out of it like 150 bucks you're not gonna or just doing it honestly you know how hard it is like devoting like almost every friday to being somewhere and on fact of that being on there for like five or six hours that's called a job i completely understand the worst night ever

but to comedians they're also doing a job too and they're also selling something valuable their work and their material. They know that even if you are putting together a promotion, the promoter shouldn't be the only one that's getting money out of it. We need to work that out. That should be an indefensible position. It should be each one of the comics that come on it either goes, hey, can I get $20?

I'm like, okay. You want them to ask for money? If you are somebody that are like no I think I need to be paid I think I need to deserve compared to me

that's the wrong way to say this yeah but compared to me I will do almost any show for free I never care about fucking money at all okay Brian

but you're hold on but then you're saying I need to get this $150 what's that hold on just so you know

$30 to an MC is 20 paid tickets after taxes. I get it. But for comedy, I don't want to get paid for the most part. I don't think that I need to be paid. I have fun with it. So then why don't you give out this money to people?

Huh? Why don't you give out the money to people? Just give them $20 a piece. Give them $40 a piece. That's what I do. But you haven't been doing that. Yes, I have. I haven't gotten that since the first time we did that show.

Why do you think that? But that was what you were saying. You said you only paid the hosts. No, I paid the hosts and any comics like you know like how many people have asked for money okay but just because they're poor doesn't mean there's less or more deserving of that money no one if i do a spot for 15 minutes i don't care if you do a spot for 15 minutes too joe i don't deserve that more or less than him no no no one uh the only time i really ever pay somebody is if i know for these shows.

If I know this person would appreciate it. Be like, dude, thank you so much, man. I fucking have no money and stuff like that. But when it's somebody that's pretty comfortable, I feel like I'm very average pace. If it's someone like me because I'm pretty comfortable, I don't want you to pay me and I'm not doing it for money. That's your decision.

This show has always been like when, hey, I got this room in the ice house. You want to do it? It's like a workout room. Totally. I consider this more like, do you want to come to a really good audience at a workout room? Yeah. Well, then here's what you should do. Not a show.

Charge no cover. Tell the ice house, hey, give me 150 bucks. I'll pack this place. Charge no cover and there's no problem. Absolutely. That's a great idea. Terrible idea. Yeah, great idea.

Because you know why? I take my story telling show, I take that and give it to charity. I'm not in it for money. I charge $5 and I keep it as low as possible. Anybody who asks for a comp, I give it to them and I still give the rest to charity because I don't want the responsibility.

Somebody else can completely do the desk watcher there. Brian, it's very difficult to say you're not in it for money and then say you need a certain amount of money or you won't do it. Because in my opinion, if I had to be asked, hey, every Friday you have to... The work you'd put into it.

Yeah. If you have to go here, you have to sit here and record work. So how many... Yeah. And then those podcasts usually go from like three to five hours. Well, not the podcasts because some people don't... Oh, those podcasts. I think the move is to put it all in the hands of the Ice House.

Give the Ice House the contact numbers for all the people that want to be on the show. Well, that's what I do. That's what I do. Have them pay it. That's what I do whenever I don't want to do it. They don't pay either. They pay their headliners $100, those Ice House people. Do they really?

Yeah. It was always a thing, $100 for headliners, except for when you or Gabriel would come in. Those comedy clubs aren't making that much fucking money. They have to pay the staff. It's true. That place especially has got so much history behind it. That place has been around for 50 plus years. It's such a great place.

But I think that we've got to be real considerate of comics and the fact that comics have a legitimate gripe when it comes to worrying about someone making money. It has to be explained, I think, in a thoughtful manner and not in this knee-jerk sort of angry, yelly, sort of shouty type of way.

I've met other people when you don't even come to me and talk to me. I thought we're friends. Fuck you, Duncan Trussell. Oh, come on, man. See, this is exactly what I'm talking about. Fuck Duncan Trussell. Stop, man. Stop. Look, this is this kind of... i'm talking about this is fuck don't stop man stop look this is this kind of why because he told you on a podcast because he's you know what i'm just done i've done so much for that dude and he just pretty much attacked me i was like fuck him well

you know what if he had no point no place to stand if he had no he should if he had no point if he had no place to to talk to you about this there was no argument there then it would be it would have no impact the reason why it has somewhat of an impact is because it is an arguable position is there any ever a way to talk about it where someone says let's just say this argument say hey so and so you should pay this much money to so and so and instead of going like what the fuck i do this and this instead of going like well hmm let me think about that why should i or shouldn't I pay this person this much money or less money or more money

and just have a nice conversation about it? Yeah. That's why I don't think it's worth it to me. Well, I think you took on a job that you didn't quite know how much time it was going to take. I did just go on stage. It's a lot of effort.

Let them go on stage when they want to. Just to call the people and schedule the times and have them come in. How many $15 shots? See, I went from going to doing open mics with a lot of these people that I have on these shows or just going to like different clubs and doing stage time and never doing real shows with these people you know so when I put decided to take on this crazy shit it was more like hey I got this access

to this room I can make a show and we can get all together and we can have a show once a week. It'll be cool. So you didn't think of it as a financial decision at all. It was just for fun. Absolutely.

The real problem is One of the things we were talking about when we had this conversation with Madrigal and you there at the Ice House those nights were like,

one of the things we were all saying is like, and we'll just take the money. Not them. We will. It'll be us. But how many

tickets would you have to sell to get 150 dollars at 15 bucks a piece average average i think that thing holds 75 or something like that sometimes they stuff in a lot okay so 10 so 10 people and you only get you take taxes out of that so you only get 60 of that huh i'm trying to think how many tickets you would have to sell to go over that 150 mark that you normally i have no idea i don't know i don't get 100 of the door you get 60 of the door i think so something like that dude i don't want to talk about any any of this shit anyway because well i think i really don't want to talk about i made a mistake as well and i just handed it over to you because the first couple of shows i was getting paid for it

but when i just handed it over to you i should have said let's sit down and figure out where this should go and that we should have the rent paid for and the insurance it's to you, I should have said, let's sit down and figure out where this should go. And that we should have the rent paid for and the insurance and all the other bullshit. To me, it's not even worth it to me. I'll go somewhere else once a week and do comedy somewhere else and enjoy myself and not get paid for it and just have fun.

The last thing I'm going to do is, thank you so much for letting me have the stage time. Fucking, you should pay me. That's not the way people are saying it. They're just saying, Brian's going to be one of those guys that's not paying comedians. Yeah, but it just feels like that

because you feel attacked all the time. You can't have a regular conversation. Because I am attacked. Have you not been looking at Twitter? I'm getting attacked by fucking Jay Moore. I'm getting attacked by Duncan Trussell. I'm getting attacked by fucking... Just block Jay Moore on Twitter

and it's never a problem. I'm getting attacked by everybody. What does that mean, attacked? What does that. Getting attacked by everybody. What does that mean, attacked? What does that even mean? Not exactly. What does that mean? They're saying a thing they don't like about something you do. I'm going to fucking do this to you.

I'm going to do that to you. There's a path with least resistance out there. I know it. It's called not bringing it up on a podcast and getting into it so everyone knows about this. And thanks a lot, guys. What are you talking about? Ryan, what are you talking about, man?

You make it impossible to talk to you about anything when you react this way. You turn this into some crazy situation that it's not. I can understand you don't want to book a comedy show. I can understand it being a tremendous time-consuming thing. Well, listen, let's all talk about this and figure out a way where

we can have a show that the Ice House books let's they're professionals that's what they do you know what I'm going to do is I'm going to do an Ice House Chronicles

and I will make it just you know some other thing I'll make it just like a green room while somebody else can do the room and I'll have nothing

to do with that room so Brian just so you know this reaction we're getting from you is the normal reaction we get from you when we bring something up so does that make it more likely for us to bring things up to you or less likely to be open and honest i tell you why because honestly i am

so busy that i don't even need to deal with any of this you know i would rather just do this podcast be happy do everyone else's podcast be happy and not have something that's such a big deal that i thought was just helping friends out. I think you got a good point. I think it is a lot more responsibility and a little extra thing that you have to chew on every week. And I think it can

still be done and done through the Ice House. This way, the Ice House pays people and we'll set aside a chunk of it so you can get paid for running the Ice House Chronicles while the show is going on. Plus pay the guy. You can still pay the guy $40.

You know what? You know what? Or I can just do the exact same thing I was doing and any comic that wants to get paid, I'll give them money. Oh, man, you can't ask people to ask for money. No, I don't. You know what I do?

Half the time I go, hey, you want some cash? And then they go, no, dude. And I'm like, okay. Okay, well, those people... How many times did that happen? Half the time I go, hey, you want some cash? And then they go, no, dude. And I'm like, okay. Okay, well, those people. How many times did that happen? A lot more than you would think, Ari. Well, you've never done that to me. I've got to get out of here.

You've never offered me money. Don't worry about it. It's not stupid. People are talking about it. You don't want to become one of those guys that doesn't pay people. I don't even feel like talking about it. I know. That's why it's hard to bring up.

That's why I'm saying I'd like to get paid. It's a hard thing to bring up that's why i'm saying i'd like to get paid it's hard thing to bring up it isn't boring it's it's to me podcast should be entertaining not like hey let's bust open brian and fucking see why he's thinking about financial shit no one's trying to bust you open open on a podcast if we were at a fucking restaurant we could talk about all this i don't feel like doing about this on a podcast sorry i bring stuff up to you let's talk about your fucking paychecks let's talk about it's very understandable it's very understandable brian but you do you understand that you get into this like really angry defensive position with people that aren't even attacking you okay do you understand that you do that

sometimes listen man it's avoidable sometimes you can talk in a rational tone i mean and i've been guilty of it as well i mean all the drama that's happening in your life is easily avoidable there's some of it is to the death with like seven people right now some of you don't need all that brian what you're doing is a great thing what you're doing with your podcast network for those guys those shows are great those chronicle shows are great i'll drive out there just to do it yeah and what you said about like freddie lockhart like needing the the network to get him on that is true It is all true it should they lead with you every time say hey just so you know You do a lot of great things for me

But I like to bring up this one thing if it's without help if you don't if you guys don't think that what I do Helps comedy If you think there's a better death squad idea, I would gladly change the name of death squad to something just to make you happy death squad is you you're a part of death squad you know all of our friends are part of death squad the fact that you and duncan don't talk right now it's disgusting you know what and that's called trimming fat he's done a few things in the past that i've let go and you know what i don't need that guy i've helped that dude so many times and you know I mean been on his podcast once well listen Duncan is no perfect person but I love that guy to death yeah I'm no perfect person either and neither are you I think

we can avoid these kind of conversations in the future if we just just calm down a little bit man and what I said about being being inarguably you don't have to be inarguably generous you can have a generous straight deal with people you don't have to be inarguably generous. You can have a straight deal with people. You don't have to say I'm going to give you all my profits. I'm not saying all the profits. I'm saying

just completely reasonable. That's fine at the end of it. Why are we talking about this on a podcast? That's what I'm talking about. We should be talking about fucking farts in Olive Garden. We don't have to talk about

only farts in Olive Garden, Brian. There's nothing wrong with it. This is a good conversation for all of us. It's a good conversation for me to understand that sometimes you don't feel like you're getting enough credit for all the work you're doing for all those guys that are on your network and in in you've built this platform where a lot of people find you find people because of that platform you've built

and i've been very supportive of it brian and i've been trying to help it and i i talk about it all the time on this podcast and tell people to subscribe to it and i tell people to subscribe to it on twitter and it's the only way to get it the ice house chronicles is to go through death squad no one's trying to stop it doesn't mean everything you've ever done with it is completely the right way to go you have to be able to bring up something in order to get better yeah we're not we're not trying to stop anything we're just talking the the um the ice house thing can all be worked out and i think it's it's a huge burden on your back too financially when it comes to the figuring out who gets paid and taking taxes on shit it's a huge burden on your back too financially when it comes to figuring out

who gets paid and taking taxes out and shit. It's just not worth it. That's not worth it. I just wanted to do comedy. Yeah. Well, we can still... I'll tell you what you avoid.

If you slap everybody 10 bucks, then they'll feel like a lot more appreciated. You know what? I just need an employee to go and actually do that for me. All right. We'll talk about this

after the podcast. We need to hire you an assistant. So let's get going with that. That Asian guy, what does he do? That guy, he's this after the podcast. We need to hire you an assistant. So let's get going with that. That Asian guy, what does he do? That guy, he's gone with the wind. Dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind. I'm sorry if this was uncomfortable, ladies and gentlemen.

Very uncomfortable. Not necessarily uncomfortable. It didn't have to be. And Brian needs to know that we all love him. And he's doing a good thing. I think that's what it is. You don't realize that people still like you if they mention any sort of critique

but they still do like you last thoughts Brian, please be positive last thoughts Brian fuck Duncan Trussell oh come on, how dare you after all that, you go to fuck Duncan Trussell come on, let's think of something positive how to end this positive Come on. How dare you? After all that, you go to fuck Duncan Trussell? Yep. Come on. Let's think of something positive.

How to end this positive. Go buy Ari's shirt. It's awesome. It's not for sale yet. Oh, yeah. In two weeks or something like that. Summize this, Brian. Wrap it up.

Bring it all home. Bring it all home in a positive way. The fans know. No, it's not a contest. There's no fight. Don't make fights. Yeah, in a positive way the fans know no it's not a contest there's no fight don't make fights yeah what do you mean the fans know they know how much i work for you guys they know how much you work for us guys you're an interesting guy brian they know they know the time i put in doing all this shit yeah everybody knows the time I put in doing all this shit. Yeah, everybody knows the time you put into it. Brian, it's not bad.

Right, so you wouldn't say I'm stealing from comics, would you? Brian, I've never said you're stealing from comics. I know you did because you did. When Duncan said that, he was out of line. And he was upset at you because he was making an argument about South by Southwest, and he didn't feel that you should have been interjecting what you were saying when our whole argument was about they offered him to come out there and not pay him.

It's a silly, emotional thing between two guys that got dragged out in a public way that was unfortunate and unnecessary. He shouldn't have done that. You acted in a very angry and fucking violent way, and I had to actually separate the two of you

guys. I mean, the whole thing was crazy. No, you didn't. I was trying to leave the room and you wouldn't let me leave the room. What are you talking about? You were pushing towards him. No, I was screaming at him with my finger pointed towards his direction.

You were moving towards him to the point where I had to stop you. What am I going to do? I don't know if you're going to do anything. I didn't think you were going to do anything. But you were so mad. I was mad. All right.

And that's why I say... Why are we so mad? ...Duncan Trestle. Brian. And just be like, nah, you're wrong. Brian, you know we love you, right? Yep. Do you know we love you?

Yep. I think sometimes you don't, Brian. We really do appreciate the work you do. We can't do a lot of shit without you. If we give you a big hug right now, are you going to feel better? No. No, he's going to feel way more uncomfortable. No big hugs?

No. All right, we'll see you tomorrow. Brian Call you tomorrow. Brian Cowan tomorrow.