The Joe Rogan Experience - #2110 - Fahim Anwar

Episode Date: February 28, 2024

Fahim Anwar is a stand-up comic, actor, and host of "The Fahim Anwar Dance Hour" podcast. His new special, "Fahim Anwar: House Money," is free to watch on YouTube. www.fahimanwar.com https://youtu.be/lbQczAcZb_0?si=z5fxPqxIrRX2G9I6 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience. Showing by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! My man. How are you? Good to see you, brother. Good to be back. Thank you for having me.

I miss you too. I used to get to see you every week. I thought about that the other day. Like, yeah. Yeah, so that's... Like, you forget that that's like a period of time and it's not gonna be forever sometimes, you know? Yeah, well, it almost was. You were one of the first people to take the trip out here.

I was. It was clear as day when I first came out. I'm like, why wouldn't you be out here? Cause I remember I had this writing job, right? And so I was just like on Zoom every day and life kind of sucked as you couldn't go out. So I was just trapped in my house. And then in between a lunch break, I'm on Instagram,

and I see Tony, Tony Hinchcliffe's post. This is like in the infancy of him coming out here, you know? He's like sold out Antons, you know what I mean? It seemed like this bizarro universe where life is still happening, and I love stand-up so much, and I was just kind of miserable, and I'm like, if this is happening out there, I can do stand-up. So then I started Asking questions. I hit up the EPs. I'm like yo cuz we're on zoom could I could I just write from Austin

Just zoom by day and then do stand-up out here with like all you guys at night and they're like we don't see why not So it was awesome. I got an apartment out here. I would zoom by day I would just be doing awesome shows at Vulcan and stuff at night. It felt like a life hack. It was a life hack. Yeah, it was great. I'm so glad I did that.

Have you been to the mothership yet? Of course, dude. Yeah, it's amazing. I got to do, I think you're on vacation. Then Adam had me do what you normally do in the middle of the week. Oh yeah. The Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.

So I got to do like six shows in that beautiful big room both rooms are great. You know, I like that small one for Working on stuff. It's kind of like the belly. It's very much like the small room is a combination of the belly in the OR It's a little bit bigger than the belly room and a little more Locked in yeah in the belly room And then the big room is like combination of the OR and the main room. That's what I tell everybody. Cause they go, what's it like? And it is, it's like if those rooms had babies,

like they're in the middle of both of all three of those rooms. They're both perfect. Yeah. They're the perfect size. You know what's kind of funny? I think the store has started to like get a facelift because of what you've done at Mothership. Cause so many comics would come back and be like

Yo, they just give you all your sets. You know what I mean? The sounds amazing like because it's so state-of-the-art Well, there's also the screens in the green room to show you what's going on on stage and the time you can't miss your spot Yeah, you can't miss your spot and there's lights everywhere Yeah, so let you know there's lights and there's two sets of lights in the hallway one in the beginning of the hallway one of the top of The stairs you always know when the guys got the light. Yeah, so let you know there's lights and there's two sets of lights in the hallway one in the beginning of the hallway One of the top of the stairs you always know when the guys got the light Yeah, so I think and if you have any suggestions by the way just throw them out. We'll use them Okay, half of the is built on suggestions

What do you can tell you know? Like this I think it was Tony's idea to have the lights in the green room It might have been Tony's idea also to have the monitors in the green room. It was Louis' idea to lower the ceiling. It was Louis' idea to change the size of the stage in the little room and lower the ceiling in the little room too. How big was the stage before Louis suggested the change? It was like four feet more on each side.

Too big? Yeah, it was too big. It was too big. He was right. Yeah. He's like, why do you have all this extra stage? You don't really it's an intimate room like yeah, you're right But it was just you know We just kind of like walked into this empty space when it was just a movie theater

So when it was a movie theater, it was we had to change everything right? So we changed the way the stairs are so in the movie theater the stairs slant way down at a steep angle, right? So you could all watch the big screen We raised the floor up. So we had to build a concrete rebar and concrete floor. So it's a totally different floor. Yes, it's crazy. So we raised it up.

And then Louie wanted me to lower the ceiling even more. So I did that as well. After the factment was all said and done? No, it wasn't all said and done. We were in the middle of everything. Luckily, we did have to recut the stage in the small room because it was the, but the concrete hadn't been poured yet. So they just had to recut the steel and put it on.

But it's very interesting. It's very interesting. I've never been a part of building anything like that before. Yeah. You could tell though, because you're a standup of several years, you could tell it was designed by a comedian. It's all done with comics. Yeah.

And also Richard, the architect, who was amazing. Shout out to Richard Weiss. He's the man. He's the man. He's so good. I'll have him on the podcast some days. He's a really interesting guy. And he also came up with the idea of making the tunnel.

Oh, the tunnel's awesome. The tunnel's the shit. Yeah. Yeah, it's such a cool hangout. The whole thing's just such, it's all just set up just for a hang You know really feels good the most valuable asset to comedians especially nowadays is getting that footage dude the footage is big It's film you and then also it's like really high quality. Yes. It's 8k. The sounds great So I've been pushing for that at the store and I think they're starting too. It's just a process.

They also have to put people's phones in bags, so they pay attention. People are so goddamn distracted. Me included. It's so hard to just sit there. It's one of the things that I love about podcasts is that for three hours I'm not going to see what's going on in the world. I'm locked in. I'm locked in.

I don't have to think about other things. And I'm really lucky. I think it's a form of therapy in a weird way in this bizarre digitally sort of intertwined world. You can't escape it. I can never escape it. It's so hard to get away from emails and text messages and it's just, I cannot keep up. I have 185 unanswered text messages.

Are you good about clearing them? Or do you just, do just have all that red? Who has time to clear things? I have to clear them. I have this OCD thing where I need to have a clean... I can't have red. Okay, it's 183. 183 unanswered text. How? How do I do that? Well, you're a popular guy, dude.

No, no. How do you keep up? You can't. You literally can't keep up. It's hard for you. I can keep up. I can keep... I'm always surprised, like, for how busy you are and, like, what a figure you are. Like, how quickly you respond still.. I can keep. I'm always surprised like for how busy you are and like what a figure you are, like how quickly you respond still. But I love you. You're my friend. Well, thank you. But I have friends and people who are much lower than you and the pantheon

of things who take so much longer. Well, sometimes I do take long though. If I'm out doing something. Yeah. There's times where I'll come home and there's 60 text messages and there's not a chance in hell that I can just bang all those out Right, just otherwise I'll go insane. That's that's what I'm saying. It's just like It's not that I have too many people contacting me. It's not that's not what it is It's you find a fucking excuse to use that thing Oh the phone the phone you find excuse. It's cool to be in contact with people.

It's fun. I like that. I love the text messages I have between friends, sending each other memes, talking shit. It's fun. It's silly. It's silly fun. It's a nice relief.

When Ari sends me a funny thing, you know, or says something funny, it's a nice little relief. The text thread you're in? They're great. You live for the text thread. Yes. I got a few of those text threads going on between me and comics and the most fun thing man All right, it's just yeah the fucking phone runs your goddamn life, dude

It does and it's like it's made it so Especially if you're a person who like if you're booking shows you have to you know You're being contact with your agent you have to be in contact with Opening acts you gotta you know it's a tool for everything. It's like I gotta doc you sign something I have to edit a video. I have to post it on tiktok. I have to post it on Facebook have to post it on it's literally a Computer it's it's like you work never ends. You know what the most hilarious thing to me is when you have to sign things online Like it's such bullshit. It's an exercise in everyone's believing. It's a fake signature.

It's not even my real signature. It's a fake signature. Like a docusign? Yeah. And you just agree that you're going to accept that as your signature. You say, okay. Right. And you click it.

And then it's your signature. It's just Joe Rogan in text. I guess that's a signature. There's one way around that. If you have like a Samsung Galaxy S24 Ultra, their new phone, it's a signature. There's one way around that it's um if you have like a Samsung Galaxy S24 Ultra Their new phone it has a stylus. It's built into the phone and you could use it to sign PDFs Does somebody care enough to be buying that phone just to sign documents? No, but you can sign all kinds of stuff Like you can write on it like a notepad. It's really fascinating. It's a very fascinating piece of tag

We're going back to Palm Pilot. we've gone full circle a little bit but it also allows you to take photographs so you could use it as a shutter so you could like stand across the room and take a photo of yourself or video and you press that button and it starts recording and it's like an old timey photographer just put a blanket over you do they still do that did they have like like, enthusiasts who do old timey? I bet there's some kid in Silver Lake who's like, yo, pose everybody at some cool barn he has to flash.

Yo, I used to get fascinated by this one dude who would make old timey wooden farm tools. This guy would make like old timey, what are those things, planes? He would make old timey planes and old old-timey like right brothers planes? No, no planes like when you're planing wood. Okay, he was like a wood shop guy, but it was all handmade He made all those tools. Who's the market for that me? I watched that show. I couldn't stop watching it Is but like when he makes the tools is there a market to buy those or is it novel? Sure?

I think it's novelty. I bet went at the time. This was pre-internet or maybe like the internet was just starting. But this guy had a cool show and I used to watch it all the time. I love when people love things. That's what I figured out about me. It doesn't even have to be something that I love. But I love when people love things. And that's when I really got into Bourdain's show because I was like goddamn this dude loves food. He loves cooking. He loves cuisine

Is that me or you that just dinged? I think it's you. I'm an airplane man. I respect the format I usually do bro. Come on. You think I'd be so bold to not turn off? Follow on Instagram makes the photos that way with a truck. He turned a whole truck into a camera essentially That's the process of it is crazy So like it could be a miss sometimes I mean how much work he's doing this time Imagine trying to convince these women it's a camera and not some creepy. Oh, yeah I know I know it's a camera psycho just coming to the woods and pose for me So he turned his truck into a camera

He built his own camera and it like it the whole thing is like the dark room, you know everything, and then he does the chemical process. It makes really cool photos on metal. He's printing them right to metal. Whoa. That is kind of the most of the photos we have is like a transfer to metal. These are directly to metal.

Is that how they first started making photos? Did they put them on metal? I don't think it was metal, well plates. Yeah, I think it would be plates. Nice returning to nature. Oh, that one didn't work. So he's just throwing it. Hey metal I don't think it was metal plates yeah I think it would be plates nice returning that one didn't work yeah he's just throwing it yeah hey dude don't litter I know you're mad that you're fucking the homemade camera doesn't work but better pick that up bitch that's the beauty of you do you know imagine that the guy just littered yeah you think that's not

litter in those places brother too many people visit think about how many people visit like national parks. It's like so important not litter. No one's going in there cleaning up after you, you fucking animals. Don't do it. Don't litter and you're in the woods, man. My friend Adam Green tree, he goes on these

big backpacking hunts where he'll go into the like Montana mountains, Colorado mountains for like a month at a time. And he's just picking up bags of people's shit that they left behind. Bags of empty water bottles, bags of trash, and he just brings a bag with him and he collects it while he's out there hunting. It's disgusting. Nice of him to do.

I'm sure there's tons of stuff out there. It's so disturbing though that people do that. It's the worst aspect of us. This just total willingness through completely being selfish of just destroying one of the most amazing things we have in this country which is national parks and public lands and place where you could just walk out into the woods. There's tons of places in this country where you can just go on a hike in the fucking woods with bears and moose and all kinds of shit. You can just go out there, man.

Hopefully you know what you're doing, but nobody really tests you. Nobody says, hey, Faheem, how long can you hike before you die? Let's find out. Hey, Faheem, do you do any cardio at all? Hey, Faheem, do you know how to use a compass? Hey, hey, do you guys have fucking something to start fire with? Well, that's when you make the local news and then the file photo of me and like the search has been on for six days Bro, it's so hard to stay alive. It's so hard. Yeah, I've never like stayed alive

You know, I'm obviously just talking out of my ass, but I have been camping. And one of the things that you realize when you go camping, if you just go camping just a few nights in a row, you'll realize like what fucking bitches people are. These animals, they sleep on the ground every night. They don't give a fuck. They're out there wild, there's no doors, there's no borders, and they have all these defense mechanisms they developed to protect them from predators because of that, because there's no doors. There's no borders. And they have all these defense mechanisms They developed to protect them from predators because of that because there's no hiding Every day is war if you're fucking deer every day is like listening for branches snapping Yeah, that's just life every day

I was like I was snorkeling in Hawaii and you get to see all that marine life down there And I just saw the sea turtle so peaceful and then part of It was like he doesn't have to worry about rent or anything He doesn't have to make money to exist right which was like an interesting concept, but he has so many other problems too He's got problems. He's got problems But there's just something about like that being enough for this turtle just kind of floating Whereas like I got to get a job. I got to go on tour. I got to make money. I have to have an apartment I have to you know, I mean all these things humans need to do to exist

The turtles are residual effective evolution. It's no longer necessary, but we think they're beautiful I think they're beautiful man. We think they're cool cool guys Well, it's a long time you like hey, bro. This design is not gonna survive man. I can watch a turtle eat lettuce forever Doesn't still own still have his turtle from Rocky was it that old it's old man they were a long time I had turtles I had to get rid of them when I had babies because turtles are dirty little creatures you don't want to have that stuff around but they were ruthless I would slowly ruthless no I would feed them goldfish dude I had piranhas at one point in time

Of course you did. That's like the most Joe Rogan pet and they were not nearly as ruthless as these fucking turtles. Yeah Look at that. Rocky still got the same turtle Turtle looks great. He looks ten. I'm sure they're not dead yet They think that I bet they do because tortoises live like a thousand years. Don't they something I think sea turtles live a long fucking time too Which is like the saddest thing we see people kill them and eat them. I mean like oh But how good something how how tasty if they're doing that you think so Something like shark fin soup you're like how good must it be? Aquatic turtles will can commonly live 20 to 30 years in captivity, but many can live much longer.

Tortoises are some estimated to live 100 to 150 years. So it's not tortoises, is it sea turtles that live forever? Who are the old ones? So some of them can live up to 250 years. What about sea turtles? Maybe it's sea turtles. Do you think there's like they're really old a family that has a turtle It's been in the family for generations like it's 249 years old. Wow That's a great great grandfather's solid question. I'd be awesome I think there's sharks that are alive today that are the oldest living creatures. I Think there's sharks that are alive today that are the oldest living creatures.

I think there's sharks. They estimated up to, oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead. 10, that went one. A thousand years, right? One in 1,000. Oh, that's surviving, I was reading it wrong, sorry. Too many words. Lifespan 100 years, but there's one turtle.

There's some fucking turtle that they think it's really old. It says estimate up to 500 years old. Oh, okay. Here's one right here There's some fucking turtle that they think it's really old Okay Look old note, you know, you never see a turtle, you know like this large turtles. That's what I'm talking about 500 years old that's fucking bonkers man. That's like pre George Washington wrap your head around that You're a baby turtle. You're just fucking chill and also these boats pull up You know like this isn't gonna be anything Do you think some of these turtles are not that progressive because they're pretty old and they Super conservative. Yeah. Yeah, they probably watch Fox news like women are wearing pants. What is this?

This wasn't happening when I when I came up. Yeah, you ever see There's a snapping turtle? What do they call them? The really crazy looking ones? It's like a dinosaur looking thing. It's a type of snapping turtle, but there's like a gator snapping turtle. I think maybe that's what they call it,

alligator snapping turtle. It's crazy looking, dude. You can't even believe it's a real creature. And these assholes are picking them up. And you're like, bro, if you fuck up that thing's taking looking dude. You can't believe it's a real creature and these assholes are picking them up and you're like Bro, if you fuck up that thing's taking your hand. It's take a big literally taking your hand. They're big Yeah, I wouldn't do that Jesus look at that fucking mouth, but there's some big ones look at that one of them Look at the size that one that's what I'm talking about like that guy has that guys out of his fucking mind If that maw gets a hold of one of those fingers,

that shit is so gone, you're trusting your grip? Look at that thing, man. You're trusting your grip. Bro. Fuck all that. That is a monster. If that was big and storming into a village in Mongolia a thousand years ago in some crazy movie,

you'd be like, oh my god, you have some Lord of the Rings type movie. That would exactly be what it would look like. And there would be guys with straps around that thing riding it. Right? That's like those scenes in the movies where the heroes are against the wall, but then the people riding these things come in from the side. You go, yeah.

Bro, we are so weak. Well, just humans. Humans, we're so weak. It's what an amazing trade-off though. You go, yeah. Bro, we are so weak. What, just humans? Humans, we're so weak. It's what an amazing trade-off, though. But we have bombs. Yeah, we have guns. We have everything. We have houses.

We have cars. We have so many different things. We weigh made up for it. But isn't it interesting that as you make up for it, you have to give away your physical defenses. We're the most vulnerable. A good house cat could fuck you up. A house cat could fuck you up, dude.

A rat for sure. A rat the size of a house cat could fuck you up. You'd be so scared at that. I saw this video, you know, you see videos on Twitter and stuff. This guy in New York, there's a possum just on the side of this building. And then this white guy helps the neighborhood out

He just grabs it off the wall and it's like Everyone's just thanking this guy and he just knows how to handle the possum and he walks it down the street And he just like throws it into an alley Yeah, my dog Marshall likes possums. That's the person who grew up on a farm that lady just grabbed I just love how this is a subgenre on the internet grabbing possums Grab that thing like she knew exactly what the fuck she was doing. Look at her walk out confidently. Look at her. She's all confident and shit.

Holding onto that wild rat. Like does she have experience? I wouldn't... She must. She must. Unless it's hers. That's true. Maybe it's like a YouTube guy. She's like my bad guys. She's releasing possums like, oh, you got a little crazy. Roscoe. You cut that out. You cut that out, Roscoe.

Word and Applebee's, come on. Roscoe. They have a disease, a very specific disease, right? Don't possums have something nasty? I think they have something that, I was worried, because my dogs got them a couple of times. They just lock up. They don't even fight back.

They get scared, yeah. No, they lock up, they play possum. They get it, fight back scared. Yeah, they've locked up. They play possum They're like they're dead. That's where it comes from. Yeah, it's a weird response So mean the possums have the same they don't know if it's a response to escape coyotes because coyotes sometimes will kill you and not eat you immediately and Maybe there's some sort of an evolutionary advantage to playing dead and they leave you there But you're not actually dead and so they give up on trying to eat you yet Toxoplasmosis toxo and then something called leptose. Yeah All kinds of bad shit. Yeah

Coxidysis how do you say that first one coxid? Deosis is come on dude do you want to college? I mean, I didn't study this. I didn't study possums. I didn't study that. How do you say that? Coxid... Coxid...

...deosis. A microscopic parasite found in a possum feces spreads a disease known as coxidiosis. When possums are immune to this disease, they're carriers and spread it to other animals. Mmm Bloody diarrhea dehydration weight loss general decline in health if untreated can result in complications or death. Oh shit Death by parasites, you know what they give you any good parasites what? Yeah, that's what it's originally for Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, that's what it's originally for.

Dogs are susceptible to this one. Dogs are susceptible to leptospirosis, bacterial infection through contact with a possum urine or contaminated water, both pets and humans can. So I wonder if that means if they bite them. If they bite them, they definitely can get toxo if they eat them. So the moral of the story is just stay away from possums if you can, right?

I would imagine. Toxos, the wildest. Yeah. Do you know that they think that somewhere in some places like in France at one point in time, 50% of the population was positive for toxo? No. Why? From what?

Cats. From feral cats. Feral cats leave cat shit around and that's why they tell pregnant women never touch cat litter It's it could read it's really bad for the kid if the woman's pregnant she gets talk so but it's a parasite that infects your brain and The wildest thing about is what it does to rats because it rewires the rat sexual reward system This parasite does and gets the rat horny for cat piss So the cat is like pissing somewhere the rat finds where the cat's pissing and he's literally erect

He is in the liquid or why no fear of cats zero fear of cats their fear of cats completely goes away to the point Where they pursue cats so the cats eat the rats because Toxo can only grow and can only reproduce inside the cats digestive tract. So inside the cat's gut, it's reproducing. The cat shits it out and then the cycle repeats itself. The rats eat it, the rats eat the cat shit, rats always eat shit. They get Toxo, they give it to other cats. There's just cycle. And it gets to people and it makes people reckless It makes it's a disproportionate amount of high

Instances of toxo are connected to successful soccer teams. How do you know so much about toxo like I'm fascinated by it There's this guy Robert Sapolsky out of Stanford. She has Stanford Brilliant guy, but he did all this work on toxoplasmosis. One of the things they found when he was a resident, or maybe one of his friends that was a resident, they found that there was a disproportionate amount of motorcycle victims who tested positive for toxo. So they started testing motorcycle victims for toxo, and they found that there was a disproportionate amount.

Enough to indicate that there's probably something going on there that maybe the toxo makes people more reckless. That's so weird how that can make you do that. It's nuts dude. You think of how many people have feral cats, how many people probably have it. You can have it and not even have any idea, have no inclination that you have it. I'm going to get tested for toxo. You just have a little cuckoo.

Like a dude I had it the whole time. You just have a little cuckoo. It's a 40% population in America. 40% 40% as toxo. Up to it could be. 16 to 40%. Let's just say it's only 16. You know how nuts that is? It's a parasite that affects your behavior? That's so bananas. I know. How nuts is that? It's pretty. And most people aren't even aware of that? Get tested guys. This is like a PSA. Get tested for Toxo. Yeah. It's a... What are the side effects? Or what are the effects? I know there's like a loss of inhibition, I think, that comes with it. Something along

those lines. Maybe that's good before you hit the stage. Toxo just makes you fearless as a comedian. Well that, you know, a good head injury. Good head injury is good for that too. Yeah, a good injury. A good head injury. When you're younger. Like you wouldn't recommend it, but two of the all time greats had like big head injuries

and they turned into... Kenison? Kenison and Roseanne. Roseanne, I didn't know she had a head injury. She had a hit by a car. Yeah. Oh. Adam Devine got hit by a car too when he was asleep. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, yeah.

I think he broke his bones inside when he was a kid. Oh, my God. That's so scary. Yeah. I've been watching more car accidents because of Instagram than at any other time in my life. Instagram just wants to show you people dying. Well, X2, man.

X2. Well, X is everything. X has porn on it, which is so wild that during the time where they were trying to take people, take their accounts away for COVID information that they didn't think was correct at the time, they were allowing like hardcore porn. I know. You forget it's the Wild Wild West on there. And I'm not saying they shouldn't.

Sure. I'd love it's the Wild Wild West. But it's such whiplash. Like, I'll be watching a cat video And then there's just some guy You know getting hit by a car. I'm like Jesus. Yeah, give me a minute. Let me brace myself and Instagram knows that I watched those It's serving you up. It knows you're out. Oh, there's a lot of these. I'm not even following these accounts You like this guy dying you may like this guy. Yeah, it's like it's weird. Should your feed be only people you follow or should they show you a bunch of shit?

Well, that's what these companies are struggling with because when it was all just your circle, people weren't consuming as much as the suggested videos. You know, what's funny is like I got shadow ban on Instagram for like around Thanksgiving. What did you do? Hardly anything and it sucks because I'm trying to do a special via non-traditional means, you know Like it's not Netflix. It's not Comedy Central Like this is a model now because of like you and YouTube like this is a viable alternative to like the Netflix Comedy Central special Whatever so it's like you need the power of these social media companies to reach people

So like doing podcasts and you do the YouTube special, that's like an arm of it. And then you disseminate our age if you're like been very helpful with like trying to self release a special. So you like chop it up into clips. Like this is what I did at my last one, you know? And you just chop up because most people are going to access you via clips. Like everyone has time for 30 seconds. Right.

Because the hour long special is kind of for jazz heads. You gotta be a real stand-up comedy nerd to like sit down and watch an hour. It's for real. Right. I swear it is. Because like I was talking to Roy Wood Jr. and like sometimes because we're in stand-up we just think it's the world because it is our world and we think that it translates to the rest.

And he kind of, he like, birds eye viewed it for me. He's like, yo, when you go on Spotify, stand up is under jazz. You know what I mean? He goes as an art form. It's under jazz. Jazz is more popular. And I'm like, it kind of put everything into focus for me where you know I don't have to be as invested. I'm like, okay, there's a ceiling to what you can do

but anyway you I need the clips like I need the arm of the clips because I had I had some clips do like 12 mil and stuff and people were able to find me via Instagram reels So when they shadow banned me me, it tells you, you can look at your account status and there'll be marks on there. It'll say, there's like three strikes and stuff. And then one of the things it said is, your content will not be shown to non-followers.

And that's kind of how the machine works. Like your stuff gets suggested to people who may not have known about you. So you need that as an artist if you wanna grow grow like to see your special and your stand-up So you're you're being suppressed you're being limited. How do you know you were shadow band? Cuz it tells you on your account status and then I had people talking to people who work IG or meta or whatever and they're like, yeah, it's shadow band. What did you do? I think it's because it's an election cycle or something like it's not even a human doing it.

I think it just scrapes for buzzwords and just blanket has these suppression on it. So I had this joke. That sounds so creepy. Well, it sucks because there's no nuance to it. It was just a joke. You know, my fiend works on stuff show. I do it on YouTube sometime where I'm just working on material I just do it to feed the algo and sometimes there's a great joke that works

And I just post it on a reel because it's like 80% of the way there and I'm just feeding the algo so this joke I Post I posted on all of them, you know, I do a clip and then I post on all the social media platforms So it remained on tiktok and all the other ones was fine and usually ttock is very draconian like they don't like because it's mostly kids So the joke it's I just go it's a non sequitur, you know, just I don't know where I'm like I just I just want to let you know Hamas is hiding at my ex-girlfriend's house So that's the joke it's like saying something without saying something. It's just, you know, it's a joke. Oh my God, we can't have jokes about that.

Yeah, yeah, so that's all I said. Oh my God. And then I think it just saw Hamas on the thumbnail, you know, when you post on the grid. And then I got a strike for that. And then there was no way to reach people and I'm just fucked. Wait a minute, so any mention of Hamas

gets you shot a bit? Is that what you're saying? Yes, yeah, pretty much. I think it just, it's just machine learning or whatever it is, it's just scraping the internet for like buzzwords. So that was like a hot button issue and stuff. And there's no nuance applied to the situation or the joke. So it just sees Hamas and then my account got hit like that.

So is it any joke about Hamas or just mentioning Hamas? I don't think the joke was even taken into consideration. I think they just saw Hamas on a thumbnail or Hamas on a caption, not knowing that it's a guy on stage doing a joke. Right. And there's layers to this. Did you appeal it? Yes, I tried to appeal it.

And then it was just stuck in review forever. So nothing was going to happen. Like I was pretty much fucked. So I know influencers in LA and stuff. And I was like, and sometimes when they're pretty high up on IG, they have a contact or something more than a nebulous, because you can't, these companies are so, there's no point person.

I think it's like that for a reason. So they tried to help me out. They had a guy and we're going back and forth and nothing was getting done And luckily I met a large agency like a talent agency and they were going at it to trying to help and Like just a week ago it got lifted Because yes, and then so the joke is up whereas before it wasn't so it's like it didn't even happen It's like I had someone vouch for me and then they like hands were off. It was fine

But only because I had the might of this talent. And see if I was like a regular guy, I would just be fucked. Well, that is the thing about an agency can get in contact with someone who, you know, there's a value in that for sure. Yeah. So much in this weird time, but you also have to realize from their perspective, they're managing at scale, literally billions of people. Yes.

So I mean, Facebook and Instagram are all the same company, right, it's all meta. So, how many meta customers are there? Let's just guess. So many. Well, isn't it like a small nation when you add up how many Facebook users? I don't think it's very small nation.

I think it's a really big one. I think it's a really big one. I wanna say it's north of two billion. Yeah. That's a really big one. I want to say it's north of 2 billion. Yeah That's a big-ass country, but it's it's it's an imperfect solution active users on meta products Yeah, 3.19 billion Yeah, that's so many people a lot of people you have to think from their perspective that they think they have an obligation somehow to maintain a certain level of discourse on their platform. This is how you could establish it initially.

But then when you get people in there that are very politically biased and you get people in there that are socially biased and they only want one perspective being heard and then you get a lot of people self-censoring because they self-censor because they're like, hey, I don't know what I can say and what I can't say. Well, now I'm like that. Right, exactly. That's what I'm saying. Twitter does not do that. X does not do that.

I don't like calling it X. I still call it Twitter. I know. I'm old school, bro. I'm old school. Because it's not an X, you can't make an X, you make a Tweet, right? I tweeted it. You X'd it? That's crazy. No, I say X'd it. I ride hard for Elon. I was on X and I was just drafting a bunch of X's.

It's just fucking... I X'd it. What? What do you call it, Tweet? Oh, that's Jack Dorsey. This is Elon. The old days, kids. So it's nice to have my count back. But I love that it's wild. That's the Twitter thing.

I mean, some of it is disturbing. When people get comfortable enough to just really speak their mind about things, you're like, oh my God. Well, that's the thing about social media too, is sometimes when you're a close knit circle, your buddies of check you like hey, what are you doing? But social media that some people have a lot of rope and you're like oh no Yeah, and especially like isolated people. Yes. I see my friends getting nutty on the road

You could tell your buddy has been on the road for too long like they do a video in a hotel room or something And you're like oh no, they're losing their mind. Yeah. I've been guilty of that too. Just when you're not surrounded by community and people and you're just a brain floating on the road. The number one key that I found very early is going the road with your friends. I'm lucky.

I've entered a phase of my career where now I'm starting to be able to do that. Whereas before you're not making enough money. So you're just beholden to whoever they book as a feature and you're just stuck in a hotel. You're walking across a freeway to go to a cracker barrel and kill time. I just had a long time ago, like 98 to do that. Just bring, just pay more money. Give them the money.

Make less money but have a good time. It's worth it dude It's everything. It's everything. Yeah, make less money. Have a good time make more money. Have a bad time not fun You don't like that. That's not a good feeling make less money have a good time and have everybody else have a good time, too Yeah, so it's a bunch of guys who are really good friends who love each other been on the road forever It's a bunch of guys who are really good friends, who love each other, have been on the road forever, going to dinners forever. I've had hundreds of dinners with Ari and Joey Diaz and Duncan and so we get together, it's just joy.

It's the best. It's just joy. It's just being with your favorite people, having a good time and doing the thing that you can't believe you get paid to do. Yeah, I'm able to do that now. I think, I mean, I have to say thank you for- Now you're able to do. Yeah. I'm able to do that now, I think. You know, I mean, I have to say thank you for... Now you're able to do it from your talent.

I know, but I mean, this is a platform because like I wasn't a Netflix guy. I wasn't a Comedy Central guy and... Which doesn't make any sense to me. Well, it's fine. It just shows me that Comedy Central and Netflix don't... Well, look at how many of my friends and peers are just skyrocketing and they weren't the guys they picked, you know what I mean? So it's kind of validating and refreshing and it's cool to see

Comedy policing itself and just promoting guys who are in the trenches and know what's up not some guy Was the communications degree? I think there's a lot of comedy nerds now too That are really into comedy they're really because they get to see how the sausage is made from all the podcasts. Yeah. You know, it's like really before that, I always said this, like there's so few conversations with great stand-ups that exist like from the George Carlin days or Richard Pryor days. There's not hours and hours of Pryor just sitting around talking about things, which would have been amazing. Yeah.

Amazing. Can you imagine Richard Pryor or George Carlin had a podcast? It's pretty nuts, I know. Oh my God, it'd be insane. It'd be insane. And George has done some conversations where he talked about his writing process. He talked about the art form itself, but he had a very specific way of doing it that most people don't do it that way.

He would write a monologue Yeah, and then he would just sort of punch it up a little bit that monologue would be his monologue for the amazing But it was rigid and he knew he knew his beats and stuff But yeah, really a process totally different process because in the end he became this guy who was a Comic as much as he was a social critic. It was like both things were this, it was still a great comic clearly, but he was also a great social critic. And he had, because he didn't have a podcast, his view of the world came out in a standup and he had to figure out a way to make that funny. And that was like his great challenge.

Well, it gets so distilled when that's here, cause like we can talk at length and approximate it. And we have. And you can go back on what you said and go, you know, actually now that I'm thinking about it, right, I could see how you would look at it the other way too, which is so goddamn important. Comedy fans are getting very granular. It's kind of cool.

I think comedy has always been popular, but not like this. And I almost feel like it's, people are discovering stand-up this day and age, sort of like the way they used to discover music. People are taking ownership of discovering comedians because even me, I'm kind of like under the radar. I'm pretty niche.

And when a comedy fan likes me, they're just like a level of fandom. It's like they found a cool record at a record shop because of the advent of YouTube and Instagram people aren't just accepting whatever is being fed to them through corporate pipe. Right which used to be the case like if you weren't picked before you couldn't you couldn't do anything. That was the only way to even get in front of people is like you had to be the corporate pick Otherwise you were just toiling an obscurity. There's no way to even be seen

But now there's all these ways to circumvent the traditional like Schultz was saying something. It was like Like younger generations and stuff. They don't know Where they saw it like what the medium is of the branding they just know they saw it on a TV Whether it's YouTube whether it it's Netflix, whether it's Amazon, like that type of branding is almost like legacy thinking from when I was coming up and you were coming up and there was a way to do it. People just like good now. Well, they like what they like too and there's plenty of variety. There's all sorts of different comics out there now that are really popular. It's a really interesting time. I think like four stand up, like for the art form, I don't think there's ever been a better time. There's all sorts of different comics out there now that are really popular. It's a really interesting time. I think like for stand up, like for the art form, I don't think there's ever been a better time.

There's never been more of it. There's never been more good ones. There's never been more good ones coming up. That's one of the more interesting things about watching the club. As occasionally I get to see these people that audition to be door people. Those are all comics. And I get to see them grow. It's fun. It's fun to watch man It's fun to watch people inspired and that energy is in the whole room

You know because there's all these different levels this guy's like a son Derek We're now going on the road great guy on the road. Yeah, Lucas is killing on the road Will you Montgomery's killing it on the road? And then there's like the headliners that come in that are there all the time, like Shane and Duncan and Tom Segura and all these people that come in to fuck around, but there's this feeling that starts at the bottom. It starts with the base.

It starts with the people that are inspired about making it still. And then there's the people that are just getting in and then there's the people that are in and then there's the people that are on television and everybody knows that they are on the screen when they go on stage. Then there's Ron that are in and then there's the people that are on television and everybody knows they are on the screen when they go on stage and there's Ron White. Yeah, yeah. You know, there's those people. So it's like you get to see how we're all just the same thing. We're all just artists for lack of a potential sport. We're like Pokemon, just different evolution. Just doing a weird art form. Yeah. We're doing a weird art form that hasn't really

until now been documented as to how to go about doing the process and how each one of us went about doing the process. And I think people are interested in that. Just like, I'm interested in that motherfucker that makes wood. Wood tools. I love when people love things. I do. Even if it's something that I don't do.

I love when people love things. Anything man. Anything. When people love things it's anything man anything well, it's so interesting how the blueprint is to Make it whatever you want to call it in comedy has shifted so fast in the past couple years Yeah, cuz when I was coming up it was SNL it was doing like a late-night set It was doing premium blend like these smaller showcase type sets Yes, and then you do a half hour Like a half hour on Comedy Central was huge. Like Dane had a monster half hour.

Just Gaffigan, you would, Louie, you know? These were like people's entry points to these people. And then now there's really, those things don't exist. I was taking- Well it's the viral clip now. Yes, so I was on the road and I took, I was doing cobs and I brought Matt Lockwood. He's a comedian from the store. And we're just sitting eating ice cream on the bench and I'm you know talking to the young comics

I'm like what what do you guys pine for now? Like what is the thing because when I was coming up? I knew what the thing was like what we all wanted right? It was like a JFL Showcase it was a late just for last The biggest set of your life is in French Canada. It is. And then you make an Arby's joke and you're like, oh you don't have Arby's? That would have been good to know in front of all these suits. What else is in the news? So I go, what's your thing? What are you? And he's

like, there's really nothing. That was weird to me that they had no touchstone. He goes, maybe like a clip goes viral or a podcast. It's just so nebulous now. Right. There's no hard blueprint. Well, the blueprint before was kind of, the problem was it involved other stuff. The blueprint involved like getting a sitcom, getting a talk show, getting something.

Yes. It always involved that. A means to an end, a springboard. You couldn't just be a comic. You had to be a wacky neighbor. That was the thing that always bummed me out the most about Richard Jenney. Richard Jenney, when he died, was one of the best comics ever, but was, felt like a failure because he didn't become Jim Carrey.

Because he didn't become the guy who did the movies. He had a TV show, it was called Platypus Man, that was on one of those burgeoning networks, one of those new networks, like, what was it? WB. WB, one of those. It was the 2B of it today. It was one of those weird networks where they started offering people deals to do shows

that maybe wouldn't have got a show at NBC or ABC. But he was a great comic, man. A great fucking comic. And he never liked the fact that he was just a comic. But what's crazy is if you plug him in today, he'd be a killer. Yeah. It's a, like, you're enough. As a comic, you're enough. Whereas that used to never be the case.

It was like, what else do you do? What such a disrespected art form. It's such, like, it's something that everybody loves But nobody nobody takes that seriously because because it seems like the person on stage is doing what you can do They're just talking. I know I know but they get up there and they learn very quickly Oh if they get up there. Yeah, well you ever have a drunk person is like, yeah, I'll do it sometimes I'm like, all right. Let's let's try. Let's who you got and then everyone hates them You wanted this dude. Yeah, well, it's just people think and then there's people that want to do it and just don't know how to do it

Yeah, there's a lot of that. I'll get that after shows some like young comics. Yeah, I do. I've been writing stuff I'm like, you've got to get up. He's got to walk in the fire. Yeah And you just got to do that first open mic night after the first one It'll be a lot easier the first one's the hardest one for sure I was fucking terrified yeah but the fact if you even do it do three minutes and even if it's terrible that is 99% further than most people ever do so many people talk but they never even like bomb for three minutes that is a win even for real because you know what it feels like at least if you have gotten laughs and then you bomb,

I think that's better. Because at least you know you can get laughs. But if you start off bombing, the road to actually getting left. Like if you bomb out of the gate, first time on stage, just death. Not even a chuckle. Well, if you come back after that happens,

then yeah, sure. Those are both great assets as a stand-up comedian. Occasionally. The crazy person isn't always, you know, the crazy person isn't always, that's not really. Right, you have to harness the crazy. Yeah, some people it's not harnessable. You know, it's a thousand horsepower engine on a fucking kids bike. What do I do with this? They have like a little kids bike with a fucking giant four-bed engine on it.

Oh, I also got to thank you because, I mean, it reminds me, I brought my parents to the Tonight Show and that's because of your podcast. I remember I was doing, I forget which one, I've been on a few times, but like, you're like, have your parents seen you before? And I'm like, uh, no, I go, they, they saw me do the Apollo when I was 18. And then I got booted the Apollo. And that was the first, I was like a few months in the doing standup. And they're from Afghanistan. And this is not a thing you do.

And they wanted me to quit. And it was just very disgraceful me doing this. And they seem to get booed by 4,000 people. I'm telling the story. I think one or two will get. So I get booed off stage and all that. And then you're like, they got to come see you again, man. You're great. And I'll go, I just have this mental block

because that was so bad right that I just it's like an emotional thing. You just put in a closet and you just ignore it. Yeah, cuz I just wanted to keep on Doing comedy on my own and keeping my my parents and stuff like separate and then you like they got to come see you and Then on the podcast I was like, I just always had this fantasy of like, when they see me, it being so good to counteract how bad that experience was, that it would be like a celebration that everything is okay, your son turned out okay, all the worries you had, you don't have to worry anymore.

So I think after I spoke it into existence on your pod, I actually went about doing it. So I hit up I spoke it into existence on your pod, I actually went about doing it. So I hit up the Booker of the Tonight Show and I'm like, I mean, I guess I could have always done it. I just never I know the Booker. I go, can I do the Tonight Show? I love to do it. I told him the whole story of like my parents have never seen me since that thing. This is like an emotional thing I need to take care of. Like this isn't even about comedy anymore. This is just like healing. It's been this monkey on my back for 20 years, 21 years,

you know? And then he's like, send me a tape. I sent him a tape. So I actually did the work. I finally just went about doing the work. I went to the improv, I put a tape together, I sent it to him, he's like, this is great. Come and do it.

So then I flew my parents out to New York and it was just very therapeutic to be able to give this to my parents because they know what the Tonight Show is. It was a celebration. It was like, this is way bigger than this. Like I love this night show. Thank you for letting me do it and all that stuff.

But in the grand scheme of like entertainment and needle moving, it's not what it used to be. You know, used to do Tonight Show when people were honking and shouting your name from cars and shit. That's how I found out about Richard Jenny. Oh, it's Tonight Show appearance? Yeah, I saw him at Tonight Show.

But this was just to give my parents a night out and a memory and a story for their parents. So I wore a suit, I brought them out. They got to meet Jimmy, they got to meet the roots, the roots came in. And the, cause I'm like friends with the roots somehow. So like, yeah, they're like, oh, your son is amazing, blah, blah, blah, you raised a good kid and all that.

So it was everything I would, I could ever dream of it being and, and I, that's, that stems from your pod, you know. Well it stems from you, dude. I know. Put it together. But still, it's just when you talk about things and you speak something into existence, I think that's valuable, you know?

Just this format. Sure, but you also have to work at it. Think about it. You gotta put that set together. You gotta work at it. Yeah. Gotta be real careful with that, speak things into existence talk.

Because you're a very dedicated and disciplined writer. Right. You write all the time. You're always working on new material. You're always working on new material You're always working on your material. You put a lot of time and effort in stand-up comedy People say that that's nice. Thank you But I mean I just develop systems where it doesn't feel because when people are like oh you write a lot It doesn't feel like I write a lot because I just have systems and processes where

Over time I look at my notes and I just have a bunch of stuff. It's not, I think people have such an aversion or writing they think that you have to go to a log cabin. You know what I mean? And there's a typewriter and then you like do a pipe and you're like, what's funny? Whereas I've gotten my process to a point where I just live life and if something happens I jotted at my phone and you jotted enough things in your phone, that list is pretty long. And then I developed that Faheem works on stuff and his friends dropped by show. I developed during COVID on accident,

like the jam in the van was the only venue doing shows. And I had already headlined there, they go, you wanna do another one? I'm like, how about this for an idea? I go, I just have all these bits that I never get around to trying. I emcee the show. I have a piece of paper up there.

I'm just kind of like reading. I'm just spaghetti against a wall. This goes back to people, comedy fans being savvy now, where they know the process. And I have enough fans at this point now where they want to see how the sausage gets made. Yes, yes.

So I do like 10 minutes in between acts, just trying stuff out. And then I bring up people doing great sets, you know? Yes, yes. So I do like 10 minutes in between acts, just trying stuff out, and then I bring up people doing great sets, you know what I mean? So the bulk of the integrity of the show isn't based on me trying new stuff because I have great comics interspersed. So it's a very low stakes way for me to try a bunch of new material.

So after the great act goes, I do 10 more minutes of bullshit or whatever, bring up the next comic. So it's a safe space for me to be able to try new stuff. And they know what you're doing too. Yeah, the show is called, he works on stuff, and his friends drop by. So I think of- It's the name of the show.

Yeah, and it mitigates expectations. I think a lot of times comics, when they're like, oh man, I'm so afraid, I can't write stuff, it's like, make the show where you can. Cause I'm Bobby sometimes. First of all, it was very cool to see Bobby on the pod. I'm surprised it took. I know, it took forever.

It took forever. I told Bobby, I'm like, I'm so glad that you finally did it. Like I didn't want to see that. He wouldn't do it forever. Forever. Bobby's weird like that sometimes. Yeah. Nick's not yet, not yet.

But when- I don't even, we talked about doing it like a hundred times whenever I'd see him at the store I know and he's just not yeah Well, what made him want to do it this time what put him over the top? I don't know I should ask him you know, it's gonna be in the times right Hooked it up. It was fun. It was fun hanging out with him. Yeah, he's awesome I love bought he was I love the first comic to take me on the road like a headliner to actually take me on the road with him He's a genuinely sweet guy

Genuinely sweet guy always has been yeah, he's always good at other comics to hilarious so far hilarious to hang out with Too, she's a feral cat dude. She's I had him on my pod one time and like I had an idea of where I wanted The pod to go yeah, and I'm just kind of like mentally trying to corral Bobby and there's no way you can't that's silly You need a you need a like a red red cape. Yeah, I need a possum guy just to grab Bobby off the wall I yeah spent this is how stupid I am I spent 20 minutes today watching dudes do flips over bowls. Yeah Because there's dudes this is a new sport where the bowls run at them and they flip over the bowls they do like front flips so they're acrobats

the red cloth isn't enough not enough you're now this is the next evolution you're counting on your knees and your ankles these guys other guys I got hit whoa this motherfucker the leaping of the bowls look at this shit do this for 20 minutes today I can't do that without the bull bro. This is you have to be so good so athletic You're avoiding horns that that goes up your asshole. You're a dead person. Yeah, and it happens all the time I think one of these guys is undefeated. Nope. I Guarantee you father time catches them just like it catches great fighters. I Bet there's a few of those guys that hang in there a little too long

The bullfighter. Yeah It's a little sloppy. Maybe you're you got that one bad ankle, but y'all compensate with my right ankle Uh-uh not this time. It's not even a flip. It's a somersault this time this time. You're going headbutton a fucking bowl It's just a I mean, but it's such a weird, listen, I prefer it to the other thing, the other bullfighting thing they do. When they stick them full of spears and they compromise it. Flipping is just good fun.

Well, it's just the whole bullfighting thing. I get it back in the disay. You ever try to flip? No, I've never tried to flip. I used to be able to flip. Really? Oh yeah. I believe you. Yeah, I've never tried to flip. I used to be able to flip. Really? Oh yeah.

I believe you. Yeah, I learned for the high school musical. That's like the least male story, like you ever flip? How long did it take you to learn? You know, during the summertime, you just have so much free time that I had my best friend across the street. I'm like, yeah, come over, I'm gonna try to do a back flip. Tell me what I'm doing wrong. So he just had eyes on me and I would try to just do it on the side yard of my parents' house. Jesus Christ. So I would run grass is pretty soft.

You know, I'm not doing on concrete. Soft enough, but you're 18. You have rubber bones. Right. So I would just run, do a round off to backflip. And then, but I was doing it sideways. I think when you first start, you want to see the ground the whole time because you're too afraid to totally let go. So he's like stop going diagonal, go more, and then finally I got it. So I wasn't doing a standing backflip. I was doing a round off to backflip. And then I learned how to go off a wall. And then that's actually easier because you just push off the wall. It. And then that's actually easier because you just like push off the wall.

It takes a lot of the rotation out. And then I learned how to have my buddy launch me. I actually posted on my Instagram because when I was shadow band I was just posting dancing. You know what I mean? Because I was in jail. I was in jail. So I just like- So how band were you?

Did I still see your stuff? Well, I'm in jail. So I just like... So how banned were you? Did I still see your stuff? Well, here's... Well, I'm un-banned. I'm... But at the time, when you were shadow banned, would that mean I would have a hard time seeing your stuff? Is it people that follow you? New people wouldn't be able to see me, but some...

But everybody follows you could see you? Yes. Everybody? Maybe not the entire pie, but I... If my ceiling was gonna be people who already follow me. I wasn't gonna reach any new people That's weird, isn't it? Yeah, so then I didn't want to cuz I had all these jokes and stuff and I go I don't want to burn these clips on a suppressed audience, right? You know, so I just went to my archives and just reposted dance shit

but what's funny is like Sometimes when you post dance stuff, it brings people who like dance that you wouldn't think Like sometimes you'll like a dance thing and it throws me It throws me for aloof because I wouldn't think Joe Rogan likes A dancing video from me. I like all kinds of things, man. Yeah And then Juliette Lewis started liking some of this. This is like a fucking crazy world And then she she asked a question and one of the iGs And i'm like, she's like, oh yeah,

did you used to do this for talent shows and stuff? And I'm like, I did it for the high school musical. So is there, can you pull it up on? I'm trying to find it. I have too many dance videos. Let me, let's explore this. Yeah. Why is musicals not manly? Probably the singing and dancing. Right. Why if I had to guess. If I had to guess. Dancing and dancing not manly. Particularly evolutionarily speaking because women have always been impressed by singing and dancing. Yeah. But you think about Saturday Night Fever. Yes. Right. But think about all the jealous guys and they

just call Travolta gay or whatever. Because if the girls like something that kind of blends feminine, haters are just going to say he's gay. Blends feminine. Yeah. So it's why singing and dancing? Right, but why? Again, if women like it and if it's difficult to do, what makes those two things that are difficult to do that women like it, and if it's difficult to do, what makes those two things that are difficult to do

that women like? Because it's not a masculine... Because men like it, watching it too, though. If it was rock, like if it's leather, guys can get behind that. Right, but if a guy can really dance, that shit's impressive. Yeah, but it has to be next level.

It has to be like Michael Jackson or Prince. Hmm, interesting. Or to be next level. It has to be like Michael Jackson or Prince. Hmm, interesting. Like Lance? Or like Lance, yeah. Like Lance Canstopolis? Lance coming back. You know? Lance coming back.

Lance, yeah, I don't know. Faheem does a character on stage called Lance Canstopolis. And it was always a favorite of the comedy stories. He doing Lance tonight? Is he doing Lance tonight tonight? I think he irritated you. Well, nah, I mean, it's fun. Like stop asking for Lance, I'm right here. tonight is he doing Lance tonight to light I think he irritated you well nah I mean it's fun like Lance is cannibalized Lance is cannibalizing

for him it's like that movie was it the dark half was that book the Stephen King book whether the writer like this he's got like an evil writer in his brain that writes all the hits yeah and, and he comes to life Well, there I mean Lance is a part of me Mm-hmm the thing is I almost feel like Lance is who I would be if I didn't have parents Sort of God Because my parents raised me a certain way And even when I have thoughts and stuff there are so many gates before I kind of say You know, right what I say, right. I'm careful sometimes. And then Lance

is just pure id and it's dancing and it's candy. And it's so fun. Also as an artist too, just as a stand up, because when I write jokes and shit, I'm like, it's intricate, you know, okay, what goes here blah blah, right? It's mentally taxing, right? But Lance there's no jokes. It just you show up they play dance music And I'm going I'm going out of the comedy store where they've seen so much high-level Cerebral great jokes and stuff and then they're like Lance can stop with Yeah, here Bert bringing Lance up. Is there... Like pure nonsense. No, amazing.

I know, I know. Amazing. But it really sets... Do you have the wig with you? I packed Lance. Lance is going on stage tonight. Oh shit. Lance is going on stage tonight. I just love with you. I packed Lance is going on stage. Oh shit Lance is going on stage tonight. I just love the phrase I packed Lance Lance is going on stage tonight It's like I get mad if Duncan doesn't bring little hobo. Oh, yeah Where's little hobo so one time when Adam was still at the store? He was you know the the manager there I?

Went up earlier in the night in the OR as me and And then my set's done and Whitney's running late. And then Adam tracks me in the hallway. He grabs me by the shoulders and he goes, Whitney's running late, get Lance. So I'm like Superman. So I go into the trunk of my car and then I turn into Lance. And so this is like three or four comics later and they they bring they go who's next go Lance Comics like what the fuck they are at length can stop us then I go I go back up for the same audience

But I'm as Lance this time and I dance and shit and then I sit on the stool and I'm like You guys look strangely familiar You guys look strangely familiar. So then I'm like, I do a 10 minute land set and then I see Whitney in the back and then I'm like, ladies and gentlemen, Whitney Cummings. So I got them out of a pinch. That's amazing. But I've never done, I guess one other time I did do Lance on the same show, like as Fahim. Bro, Lance will become Dice.

Yeah. I can see that because it's so much fun to do. Do you know the Dice story? So, no, what was that? Dice's name is Andrew Silverstein. Right. I know he was like a great impressionist and great actor. He used to go on stage and used to do all these characters. He used to do John Travolta. He does an amazing John Travolta. Right? And then he would do this character called the Dice Man.

And then the dice man became him was it It's hydromatic. It's hydromatic. It's hydromatic. It's hydromatic. It's hydromatic. It's hydromatic.

It's hydromatic. It's hydromatic. It's hydromatic. It's hydromatic. It's hydromatic. It's hydromatic. It's hydromatic. That's him. This is it, man. Your lands. This is my evolution. You are lands.

I was a caterpillar. You are lands. This is my suggestion for your next special. After this one that you just did. Yeah. Half hour of you. Short break. Yeah. Half hour of lands. So it's like speaker box and love below? Like the outcast album? Like half this, half hour of Lance. So it's like speaker box and love below? Like they outcast album, like half this, half that.

That's pretty great. You leave the stage, the stage goes black for like three minutes. You fucking swap out clothes, put the wig on, hit yourself a little Dior. What do they wear? For the front row? What are people that like to wear a clone wear

What is what is dude so like to party? Melva for sure goes to clubs guys like what's up girls? I was what's that guy wearing? Yeah, what's gold chains? What's I got wearing Jean Jacket? Obviously wife beater underneath right? What is the smell though probably drop typed in cheesy guy clone in the this bottle popped up Some people really into cologne man. Did you get enough out here? When I was kid I had your car noir. Oh, that was a big one car was I heard all the guys. Hey, you got to get your car Girls love it. Do they good? I have no idea. What some girls like What the fuck he's doing cool water was big in the night cool water yeah, oh

Tommy was big for me growing up and then a polo sport was was a hot fragrance I used to do the old spice and after shave you fucking splash your hands you sting your face Whoo functional though, too, because if I don't do that and I shave with a razor you'll get ingrown So it's functional You just come back to being an engineer Just do that It burned but it feel good you just fucking splashed it on your face Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You're like Kevin McAllister. Dude, I think Lance. It's fun. Like I'm bringing him back

I've been doing it more at the store. Would you do that though that that my idea for special? I would. I'll produce it Oh, yeah, how about that? Also because this is my third for special? I would. I'll produce it. Oh yeah? How about that? Also, because this is my third traditional special, like I've done it. You know what I mean? So it's kind of, you get bored and there's enough digital IP out there of me doing straight stand up.

Well, you can do both though. That's the beauty of what you've got going on. So you could just do an entire Lance tour if you wanted to, or an entireaheem tour if you want. You do whatever you want. I also had this idea too because Lance just loves everything. He thinks he can do everything. He can be an actor.

He wants me in action movies. He wants to sing and do music. So I might want to do like where it's like a documentary of Lance putting out an album and an EP. And so he tours America doing shitty venues, but he has three songs on an album. And then in between of doing songs, he's just doing crowd work, like, thank you for supporting live music and everything.

And how I came up with this song, I was taking a shit at you both, and just the chords came to me, hit it. So it's like half music right comedy right that could be a fun different type of special to do Yeah, I just loved I love when someone bust out a character. You know yeah Yeah, a few things you don't see that much in stand-up anymore You don't see like a character because it's scary You'll get shit on a lot when you're a young comic if you do something kind of non-traditional

You can get shit on so like luckily Lance happened after I was really established in the comedy store Like I already had Lance is good. It doesn't I know I know even if you weren't established if you came in It just hit Lancer sure. Oh my god It's hilarious, but Lance was able to thrive because I already had Another person do he is that's Steven King book he is But Lance was able to thrive because I already had the, for real. Lance is another person dude. He is, he is. What is that Stephen King book? He is.

Is it Dark half? Lance was able to thrive because I was already beloved at the store. Like I had earned their respect and stuff. And so, because if you start killing with a character and no one knows who you are, you're gonna get shit on by the like elders and stuff. Like so it might take no- Oh, not at the store. If it's a

harder sell than if you have no history as a traditional comic yet like it seems like hacky or a trick so the fact that I can do straight but it's not of it's good the dark half yeah that Beaumont a parasitic twin removed from inside his skull when he was 12 what since then has become a critically acclaimed literary writer and a blockbuster crime writer under the pseudonym George Stark who goes on a murderous rampage when Thad kills him off. Yeah that's the book. It's a crazy book. I mean it's fun doing different character music stuff. Lance is inside of it. I did a promo. Can you pull it up? I uploaded it. I need to feed Lance.

I will feed Lance for sure. Lance is going to go on i think it's gonna go on this is gonna be sort of the way that tonight show thing was spoken in existence this is the new and existing can you pull up uh... i did a promo music video for my special this is just reminded me of the music i think comics are open to anybody trying anything as long as it's really good but the problem

we don't put that same scrutiny on someone try and stand up for the first time you know like we see someone doing it open mic night you expect them to suck it's just so fucking hard yeah but if you see someone doing an open mic night and sucking as a character you're like you ain't never gonna make a bitch right he turned up what is this I have a special promo for new comedy special. House Money. Instead of doing a trailer for my special, I'm like, let me just do a music video.

So this kid McCone, he directed it. He does a lot of bad friend stuff too. So we bang this out in a day. You know what's disturbing? That guy could be a very popular music artist. That could be your third career. Your third career is your super emo satirical British emo songs. I'm not kidding. I was listening to Tears for Fears and I'm like, this has to be my promo. Bro, if you go like way over the top, Tears for Fears, like over to the next level of

dismay. So British. Yeah, over the top. Like so over the top, you could be, that's your next career. Bro. That's your third career. This is my, I'm gonna stack in careers today. Yeah, you're gonna stack careers. You're gonna be a mock emo singer from the UK Somewhere where it never is sunny so on a lot Leonard some shit on a lineup who goes where obviously I can't follow land

So Lance closes up so it'd be me to close this guy. Oh, he opens. He opens with his corny songs, right? Right, you have these songs Everybody goes nuts right short break you come back as fiend and then everyone talks shit hard for short break You kind of hear like yeah Like on a bleachers And the spotlight the first one's probably a bad idea the singing is probably right right right but the other two are really good Those are real but the singing could make it if you really like I don't want it to make it It was just a fun promo to do wanted to prove a point if you had like this thing in the back of your head

You're like, you know what I don't fucking think like get my Eddie Murphy on yeah my party all the time That's a jam. That is a fucking jam. Let's put that on the green room playlist That was produced by Rick James, right on that time. That was produced by Rick James, right? Joey Diaz, you're on the podcast. Yo! I love you, brother. What have you been? You don't call or you don't write? I called you yesterday. Hey, I'm here with Faheem. I love you Joey. How are you? You gotta talk loud. He can't hear you. Joey, I love you, man. How are you? I love you, brother. I can't hear you. Listen. Oh, don't, listen. I'm coming. Oh, don't tell everybody, they'll know.

Now the whole world's gonna know, yes. I love you. I'll talk to you soon. Bye. He's such a sweet guy man, like. I can mute it. I can mute it. Oh, mute it.

I don't want people to know when it's coming. Okay, alright, mute it. I didn't have to. One of the fun things about the club is no one knows who's gonna be on stage. I see see it because I follow the Instagram account obviously It's fun any pun like who's in town and especially when we do protect our parks It's Ari and Norman. It's fun seeing that pop because the audience is losing their fucking minds. Yeah, it's fun It's just it's a fun place man, and You were a part of the beginning of this you really work

You were like one of the first comics and took a chance moved out here. Thanks man I mean, it's very cool to see the scene grow and continue to grow and part of you things like how big can it get It can get pretty pretty big man You can get pretty big because there's a lot of new people that are doing it and they're really dedicated Well, and if you're a young comic this this seems way more viable than a Place like New York or LA that's super saturated and even if you're funny It's hard to get on stage whereas there's more stage time out here There's a ton of stage time and it's just like it's just different environment

I always say that this is my girl wants to party all the time. Rick James, remember? Give me some vaunt, give me some vaunt. Yeah, come on. Oh, I love this shit. Oh, we'll get kicked off YouTube? Really? We'll be back on YouTube now. Oh yeah. Well, congrats on being back and the deal.

Yes, but we can't play music anymore. Imagine. So wack. Do you think that we should do? My girl wants to party all the time. It's the rogue remix. Yeah, if I do it too good, it'll pick up on the algorithm. Is there a way we can just say, put the full things on Spotify

and just cut out the music chunks and tell people we're doing it? Just trying to figure out on the fly. We might have to tell people we're doing it. I don't like being hindered by this nonsense. We want to hear party all the time. But it's also, it's like, what is fair use? How does that work?

I don't know the rulings on stuff. They should be able to talk about one of the greatest fucking things of a... Songs by a comedian. How many entertainers have ever done as many things as Eddie Murphy has? That's nuts. Well, that's what's crazy.

He did one or how many specials? Two, two or three in his all time grade. Two big ones in an album. He's got an album to Beverly Hills Cop comes out I think oh that's so cool dude if he wanted to stand up right now if he just wanted to jump back on stage right now he would start murdering of course right away murdering even watching his comedians and cars just being yeah talking to Jerry there's so many great bits and conversation with him great tragedy that guy doesn't do stand up.

But he doesn't want to, so whatever. Did you watch SNL? I watched Shane's monologue. Yeah, and I watched the Trump sneakers bit. That's great, man. He's such a good sketch performer. He's amazing. Yeah, it's rare that someone is really good at stand up

and is great at sketch like that too. He said he had a good time. He said for the most part, they were cool to him sketch like that too. He said he had a good time. He said for the most part they were cool to him. Yeah. Yeah. He said it was a good experience. He's glad he did it. I'm glad he did too.

It's one of the few times that it's been appointment viewing for SNL, you know? Mm. Especially for comics and stuff. I bet the ratings are bananas. Oh, we're probably through the roof. Bananas. Yeah. I bet the ratings are bananas.

My favorite from there when he was on is that limu-imu sketch. But it got cut for time. And I'm watching on the internet, I go, they didn't air this? This is the best sketch. Well, you know. They have, you know, they run their show. There's a certain order, and maybe it got cut for time

or something. But when I'm watching, I'm like, this is the best. Imagine putting together a new show every week And it not sucking right what are the odds? So hard to do I know put together a new show every week. That's so hard to do did that show mean anything to you growing up Yes, yeah, definitely The John Belushi days man, I used to watch that If you watch some of those episodes now,

you could never do any of what they were doing. They had some of the wildest shows. Those shows were great. The old Saturday Night Lives were fucking great. They were really fun. Well, that was the only place to see something like that too. Only place. It was nuts, you know, and then in Living Color came around. Oh, man, I loved in Living Color. In Living Color was insane. I was nuts. And then in Living Color came around.

Oh man, I loved in Living Color. In Living Color. I love that Chanel too. I loved that Chanel too. In Living Color was insane. People forgot how good that was. I remember I was at a pool hall the first time I saw it. It was like, I think it was one of those Super Bowl days

where they had in Living Color on during halftime. I think that was the deal. Because everybody was watching in Living Color. And I was watching Jim Carrey's Firm optional bill with his face all burned off. I'm like, this is insane. What is this? There was nothing like that that had ever been on television before and it was on Fox, right? Yeah, Fox took like more chances back at that. They had the Simpsons They had like a little wilder stuff married with children, right? Oh, yeah, racy. Yeah, I saw that I was like are you out of your fucking mind

It's crazy. This is your mocking a bird victim. I know on TV He that he auditioned for us and the show is nuts man. How about a handyman? Oh my god Oh my god, a handyman way and as handyman was hilarious. He did a movie called handyman. I forgot they did a Are you saying they couldn't do handyman was hilarious. He did a movie called handyman. I forgot they did a movie. Bro. Are you saying they couldn't do handyman today? Yeah, these guys. Are you saying they couldn't do men on film? Yeah, the men on film was hilariously... Oh, so I got to work with David Allen Greer when...

I did like a small guest star on Gerard's show when it was on NBC, that Carmichael show. And I was just so starstruck Is like watching but he's this this thespian guy man even for living color He was just this tremendous actor, but he has this crazy comedy gear as well, right, but that was so cool Oh my god, you could never not a fucking million years Did you see him come by the store and stuff? Bro, Dave Schmiel talked about this, but it is a real thing.

What? Why do they, in so many scripts, want masculine black men to dress like women? How many times has that happened? It's a thing, you know, it's a trope, right? That's a crazy trope. That's a crazy trope. When,huh. That's a crazy trope. When I think, I don't know, remember who Dave was talking to.

I forget who he's talking to when he's explaining this. Wasn't Kat talking about that too? Or he's like, oh, can't we just rewrite it to where that's not in there? Well, it's a real thing. I mean, how many examples are there? And who's writing it? You would think at this point, it's such a cliche that you would censor yourself, be like,

okay, this is almost hack at this point. Like, let me not put this in here. It's a weird thing to ask someone to do. It's a weird thing to say, hey, that guy with all the big muscles, let's put him in a dress. It'll be fine. Give him lipstick and give him a wig and give him high heels and call him Wanda. It's got to be tough too, where you go, because it's a big break for some people and you go,

I don't want to do this. Right. Well, the Jamie Foxx one guaranteed it was their idea because it's just a funny character. It's just you couldn't do that today. Yeah. Right? You couldn't do that today. What would that be?

I'm kind of like that when it comes to like terrorist shit, you know? Like, because, you know, when you're a young performer and actor, sometimes the opportunities come through. They go, hey, will you say a lock bar on CSI or some shit? You know what I mean? I go, I don't know how much this helps my career, you know? Like how am I gonna level up from saying a lot of bar and just like disappearing? Right. So it's really not net positive and I'm trying to be a stand-up comedian

So if I was trying to be an actor, right then sometimes you're stuck doing Like Samuel Jax and how to do some parts that maybe he didn't love doing earlier. Yeah, for sure But it's just that that particular one Neil Jackson had to do some parts that maybe he didn't love doing earlier on in his career. Oh, for sure. Yeah. For sure, but it's just that particular one, getting black men to dress up like women. Yeah. That's a fucking weird one, man. That's a real one and a weird one.

It's a weird one. Like there's so many examples of it. And if you think about white men, like muscular white men, how many times have muscular white men been asked to dress up like women for funny? Way less. Fucking way less. Way more white men in movies Way less white men wearing dresses. That's crazy. You got Mrs. Doubtfire, but that's a character that he's doing Right. That's kind of different because he's not- Cuz he's immersed. He looks like Mrs. Doubtfire.

Yeah, he's all in. He's got Robert Alford. You don't even know that's Robin Williams under there. But what was the two-won food? Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was like they were all drag queens. John Leguizamo. But that's drag queens.

OK. Little different, right? Because they're all drag queens. Right. So Wesley Snipes gets a pass on that one. Oh, that one. Wesley Snipes. Because he's one of the drag queens.

Yeah, I love Wesley Snipes. But it was just Wesley in a dress. He'd be like, what the fuck is going on with this movie? Do you think it was initially Wesley? And dress. You'd be like what the fuck is going on with this? Do you think it was initially? Do you think it was initially Wesley and he needs let's let's surround himself. It's not so obvious exactly That's how you pull it off. It's like when you get condoms at the store But then you have a banana and then like some candy just to throw you off the scent That's hilarious like was ammo man, I love him. He's so good. He's great and John Wick. Oh

He's in that. Is that the latest one? No, he's he was in the first one He's the guy that tells John Wick who killed his dog. I Always think it's so funny man. Like that's how much Americans just for just people in general love dogs where This guy's dog gets killed and then John Wick murders like And then everyone the movie theater's like yeah, that checks out Yeah, that's how you get bro. Uh-huh a thousand human lives You don't kill a puppy piece of shit. It's a fucking puppy. I'm really still his car too. Don't forget that I was trying to watch that movie with my girlfriend because I had heard that's hilarious

Yeah, and then she's like no, I don't want to watch it like a puppy gets hurt I go they don't show it It's not like the whole like they don't show it like yet. You know what I mean? Also, it's just a jumping off point for the movie right. It's not like it's a puppy's getting worked over for two hours You know like where the diamonds puppy? I'll tell you when the parts over right and she just didn't even like the thought that a puppy gets hurt Right, so she mentally couldn't ever get into John Wick. Oh my god. Yeah You got to get fast forward

To that part right I'd be like no the puppy lives in this version just past the puppy part Yeah, even that wasn't enough. I couldn't trick her into watching it. I had to do a solo. But that's like the Barbie movie for dudes. That's a good point, yeah. It is basically the same thing. Because girls do not want to sit there and watch this handsome man assassinate 150 people. Fuck all these people up. But every guy does.

You're like, babe, wake up, come on. Every guy. You're missing him. Dude, there's a scene where John Wick goes into the bath house and he's trying to kill Vigo's son and he essentially assassins all the assassins in the bath house. It's like one of the most intense scenes in the history of fucking action movies. It's so good that when I was doing the sober October challenge with Tom and Ari and Bert

and we had a fitness challenge and I just stayed on the elliptical machine watching that scene like over and over and over again This fucking scene is intense man The the first John Wick is absolutely my favorite John Wick how many are you know? There's four they get a little cartoony. They're still fun, but it's a different thing right well once you get deep on franchise It's gets cartoony. Yeah, the first John Wick was the shit It was this shit Such a good movie. It's just fun. Yeah, yee-ha

Brain take me away brainless for two hours. Oh, there's a place for that. Yeah, Oppenheimer I'm like learning all this stuff, you know, right Like I feel like when if they wheel I mean they don't wheel TV's in anymore But when the teachers turn on Oppenheimer, you know the classes are fucking lit. Like, I feel like if they wheel, I mean, they don't wheel TV's in anymore, but when the teachers turn on Oppenheimer, you know the classes are fucking lit. Oh, yeah. Because that's like educational and awesome. Educational awesome and titties.

Yeah. Listen to this. I think a lot of kids are gonna get into science because of the fucking. That's the crazy thing about scientists, man, is that they were all like intellectual rock stars. They were like these wild renegade people and a lot of them do some fucking. And I think that was also part of the appeal

of being a great scientist is that you had like groupies, you know, just like singers. Well, I've noticed that about any profession or art form. If you're a guy and you just excel in whatever field it is you are, there are gonna be women who are attracted to that field Even if it's stamp collecting just women are attracted to excellence and and no matter how niche a thing might be Professional pool players would always bat way over the heads with girls who played pool

Hmm like guys who are really good pool players They always did way better with girls than they should have even stand up like if I didn't have stand up I don't think I would bet. If I was still an engineer at Boeing. You're a handsome guy. You find a nice girl. No, but comedy, comedy. You'd have a family by now.

I would. You'd have a bunch of kids and a dog. I think about that. Had to get the dog trained because it runs in the street. Pretty much. Damn it. Like entertainment is such a rest of development because all that, all the trappings of a traditional life are weight if you're trying to make it

with a certain thing. So I think we hit these benchmarks later in life and it's hard, especially when you have parents who there's a certain time to be doing certain things. Right, like I should have a house, I should have a wife, I should have kids, I should have a dog. But to do what we do is so labor intensive and hard

and so it delays your life a few years. Or at least for these traditional benchmarks. Yeah, you can't, if you're gonna go down this road, it's 10 years before you're any good. It's a long ass road. I mean, you can get pretty good before then, but to really like get, say like, I think that's okay. I think other people can listen to this. I think other people can watch this It's like 10 years and also to get some footing career wise and financially

Only in the last couple of years have I felt kind of comfortable in this as a profession Because when I left Boeing it just felt like did I make a mistake? Is you can't see the other end of the shore. So it's hard operating from that space of like, is this a viable career? Am I, do I have a plan enough roots in the comedy game? And like, things are better now, so. If you're good and you believe you're good, you gotta burn the boats.

Yeah. You gotta burn the boats. Well, I wouldn't have been doing it if I didn't believe That I had the aptitude if you have a boat To get back to your air-conditioned house and eat mangoes you're gonna get back on the fucking boat You got to burn the boat. Yeah 100% I like the quote in Gadica you ever watch Gadica. It's one of my favorite movies. I lost a little bit of it

It's so good Ethan Hawke. That's yeah, Uma Thurman. I think yes? It's one of my favorite movies. I watched a little bit of it. It's so good. Ethan Hawke. Wait, that's, yes. Uma Thurman. I think, yes. It's about genetics and stuff. I was confusing it with a television show. Oh, but there's this poignant scene. Which one am I confusing it with? Battlestar Galactica.

No, I watched all of that. That's great too. Battlestar Galactica is fucking amazing. Gaius Baltar, is that? That is one of the most underrated series, the second one. I was watching it when it was on sci-fi and they were shooting it in Vancouver at that time. The movie about Christopher before Christopher existed. Gadica!

So good, man. That's right. So there's two brothers. One of them is genetically designed and everything. He has all the gifts of technology. And then Ethan Hawke is like a natural baby, which is kind of a second class citizen. So they're kind of shut. They clean.

They're like janitors and stuff. And there's this point in the movie where they used to race or they used to swim and The genetically superior brother would always beat the The natural baby Ethan Hawke and then when they kind of lose touch and at the end they do it one last time You know and so Ethan Hawke is winning and this isn't supposed to be happening And he's like how are you doing this and he's like I never save anything for the swim back and Just that quote It just fucking hits me. Whoo

Because he's doing what's not supposed to be happening. You know Jesus It's my favorite. I mean if there's one takeaway from me doing Joe Rogan pocket. It's watch gattaca One time I showed it to a girl. I don't think I've seen this whole movie. I think this is one of those movies that I started and something happened. I got distracted. I stopped watching. Please watch it. I will. I have so many of them and I can't keep up. I can't keep up. I did watch Oppenheimer though. Fucking fascinating. Yeah, I didn't know him in Einstein were boys. That was cool. I didn't know they talked at a pond that much. Yeah, I wonder how much that's legit you know you can write a lot of looks good you can write a lot of nonsense into a movie right someone's dead

and then he said bitches ain't shit I never said that I never fucking say that I mean you could really you kind of like paint a person. For sure. You know, that was a thing that a big criticism that people had from the Bruce Lee scene in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. But that was obviously comedy. That was interesting when that really, I read it as comedy. Tarantino kind of defended it. And they said that Bruce Lee was like known for being very arrogant and he said something about he had beat Muhammad Ali in a fight. I'm like, that's crazy. If you

really said that, that's so insane. Is it coffee? Bruce Lee was 135 pounds. Muhammad Ali at the time was 220, 225, the greatest boxer of all time. Yeah. Heavyweight, knock it out of heavyweight. Yeah, that would have been a great UFC match. Especially if you're talking about him in like 1967 before they made him retire for three years

He was insanely good Like if you want to watch how good Muhammad Ali was watch Muhammad Ali in 1967 when he fights Cleveland big cat Williams always tell him watch that fight because Cleveland Williams is this murderous puncher and Muhammad Ali is putting on a show. He's dancing and moving like you can't believe, like no heavy weight before him remotely moved like him. It's so hard to put it in perspective now because we think about fighters now like we've

seen so many great heavyweights. We've seen so many great welterweights and light heavyweights in this the world of boxing we have so much footage but back then in 1967 there's nobody doing that where's your footage where you what you you're gonna get a projecting screen and sit down if it's not on TV you're not gonna see it so you watch whatever the fuck they show you on TV and no one had ever seen a guy move like that Especially in the heavyweight division he moved like sugar a Robinson who was a hundred and forty seven pounder Is there anyone comparable you would say no like that? No, there's no one There's no one comparable in terms of like how different they were than everyone before them. He was so different

Can you please show me some of the Cleveland Big Cat Williams Muhammad Ali highlights? Bro, he was so different. He would knock eyes out moving backwards. You know, he he decided when he would take it up a notch. He put different paces on you. Pop the jab on you, move, make you miss a bunch of times, make you feel stupid, drop his hands, pop you again, pop you again, move around, move around make you miss a bunch of times, make you feel stupid, drop his hands, pop you again, pop you again, move around, move around, you can't catch him. And when you're thinking about boxing in 1967, there's no heavyweights that move like this.

They don't exist, man. This guy is a freak. So everybody before him moves like Cleveland does, you moving forward look at the land the big power shots And look how big Cleveland was Jesus Christ as he jacked look at the fucking arms on that guy Murderous puncher very dangerous guy and Ali's just dancing in front of him just shuffling and dancing Just out of range and then eventually he starts catching them just starts tuning them up Scoot your head a little bit here. So once he gets loose he starts opening up with combinations and he moves away and then Cleveland moves forward he pops them

with a jab pops him with a hook and now Cleveland's befuddled right because now you know I can't hit this fucking guy and he could hit me anytime he wants which is just that's not how boxing is in the heavyweight division. You have big power punchers with big jabs and guys with great technique. You got Joe Lewis and you know you got Floyd Patterson. You got all these different great heavyweights

but none of them fight like this fucking guy. None of them fight like this guy. Did they slowly charge kind of was the style before Ali? Just sort of like slow and steady? Well everybody was just power punchers in the heavyweight division. They're just moved forward They would throw good jabs they had good boxing fundamentals But they didn't move with the footwork like that that footwork was insane So if you're standing in front of them the realization after three or four rounds of this is like I can't take too many more of these

He's not hitting me with one knockout punch, but he's hitting me 150 times in the face. And he's hitting me in a way that I can't hit him back. Look at his pop in this jab. Just moving and effortlessly. He would run miles backwards. Here's the one, two. That's it. That's the beginning of it. He would run miles backwards. Backwards. Run backwards. So just insane cardio too. Insane cardio. Insane dedication. So this is the one of the most tragic from a boxers, Run backwards so just insane cardio to insane cardio insane dedication So this is the one of the most tragic from a boxers a boxing fans perspective One of the most tragic things in boxing is that they took it away from him for three years And he was never really this guy again

This guy that you see here in 67 he stopped training when he came back and and fought after that He just didn't look like the same guy He wasn't the same guy physically. He didn't you know maintain his training during those three years off Look at that dude. Look how good he was. I mean are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? So that was like the most revolutionary thing in boxing like that guy in 1967 Like one of the most revolutionary things ever see a heavyweight move like that

And then you got Tyson in the 80s. Yeah, well, then he was out of his prime two for a bit, right? Yep Yeah, but he had already No, it's not he gets up bro, just let people fucking they let people just be out cold There's like the famous photo though, right where you standing over him or no, no, that's a sunny listen photo That's when he knocked sunny listing out in Lueston, Maine, and they said it was a fixed fight and it looks a little suspicious We ever seen that one? No With knowing that a lot of people suspect this is a fake and that Liston really wasn't hurt that bad that he took a dive, watch this.

Okay. Because you watch how he's trying to get up. You're like, as a person who's seen a lot of people get knocked out, I've seen probably more people get knocked out, watch it, here's the right hand, it's a solid right hand. Absolutely legit, no doubt about it. But watch how Liston goes down.

So a lot of people said that it was a phantom punch, it's not a phantom punch, it's an absolute, over the top boom see the jaw shift. That's a real punch. That's a real knockdown That's not a dive, but what happens is when listen goes down See throws this jab Ali comes over the top and bang That's a 100% legit punch, but when Liston goes down, that's when it gets shenanigans. See if they scoot ahead to watch if they... Is this just... Okay, just show me the actual knockout.

There it is. Is that it? You gotta see when he gets up. Because when he gets up, that's when it looks fake. When he gets up, when he's down, no, this is like a bunch of different fights. See if you can find it. Did you box or you're always doing a? I did some kickboxing.

Here it is, here it is right here. So he hits him, he knocks him down. Now watch, watch, he goes down. Now this is where it gets a little shenanigan II See I'm watching him roll around He gets to his knees and he falls back down to get just looks a little like he's not trying to stop himself I'm going but to his back. It looks a little funky. It looks a little funky So like he gets up and look he's looking away He's not even looking at Ali

So they're not deciding yet whether or not the fight is stopped and now Ali is fucking tea and off on him and Then they stopped the fight It was very shenanigan, you know it look a little shenanigan. He made contact though I don't know but it's also like the humiliation that Liston suffered from the first fight the first fight was 100% legit Yeah, the first fight when he fought sunny Liston sunny Liston was this murderous puncher man He was one of the most murderous punchers ever He fucked up Floyd Patterson so bad. He was so dangerous

He was so scary and he was so scary, and he was a thug, like he was a crazy dude, like during one of the press conferences. See if you can find this. Oli was talking crazy shit. Liston pulled out a fucking gun. He pulled out a gun and shot through the fucking ceiling. Are these people being... And everybody scrambled.

Are they legit nutty like that, or is this partly PR for the fight? Like if I shoot a gun, this will draw eyeballs. No, no, no, no, no, no no that was who sonny listen was and what my home but i'll leave is doing is trying to get into his head she's blanks here is here it is oh shit yo

he just put it in his in his coat pocket. Oh, I Be terrified by the way Those kids still kill you like people that blanks up to their head the force of the gas coming out of the barrel of the gun Can kill you and it has killed people a guy did it on a set once He you know, it's just fucking around with a blank blank they have so much protocol whenever there's a gun bro that's so scary yeah look how fast his fucking reflexes were he dodged a bullet yeah like legitimately bro but

he would constantly talk shit at every press conference it got so bad to the point where it when they did his uh... like the way in thing like after the way inin thing, like, after the weigh-in, his heart rate was so high, his blood pressure was so high, that they had to calm him down or they weren't going to let him fight. Because he just, like, worked himself up into a frenzy to fuck with Liston. He would show up in front of Liston's house and yell on his front lawn. Like, he climbed into that dude's head.

Oh, I'm sure. How crazy to be that gifted as a fighter and that gifted as a shit talker as well. Unprecedented shit talker. No one before him did poetry. No one did rhymes. Like you don't understand. He did his work to get inside that. My parents were hippies and they had to watch when Muhammad Ali was rematching Leon Spinks because on television, that's how much of a cultural icon that guy was because he stood against the Vietnam War and that's why he lost three years of his career when he was in his prime. In 1967, he's like, I'm not going to Vietnam.

He goes, no, Viet Cong ever did shit to me. I'm not doing this and they took away his ability to box for three years and You know my parents are like very anti-war they were like This is our guy the whole country was like this. This is a person who represented sense He made sense when the world was going crazy And they were talking people into fighting this nonsense war in Vietnam and you could possibly lose your life or lose a leg or lose a friend or lose your father or lose your... what? And he was like, fuck that.

And he was right. Yeah. It was one of those things that it took years to get clarity on it as a collective whole society where it's at the time he's probably raked over the coals right 100% there's a lot of people that didn't look you we'd we had associated wars before Vietnam with these just wars like World War one and World War two we thought of those as just wars like you're trying to stop evil there's a guy who's hopped up on meth in Germany and he literally literally hopped up on that was a simple try to literally, literally hopped up on meth. That was a simple one. Try to take over the world. That's a simple one.

These are just wars, right? By the way, they're not simple. They're super complicated and there's a lot of... But in terms of cartoony, babe, you guys? Bad guy, good guy, we're the good guys, and we like to think of ourselves like that. So when we're at war, if we're at war to stop communism in Vietnam,

we, at the time, I think I think collectively there was a lot of like hardcore fucking blue collar republican type people that were like yeah you got to do what the fuck you have to do to protect freedom right and you got but then they didn't know that the whole thing was staged they didn't know that that gulf of Tonkin incident was a false flag just to justify as getting into that crazy ass war for who knows what reason But there's a lot of them a lot of reasons so now people have a different sort of feeling when it comes to war So you think that was at this point I would like to play fuck a war by the ghetto boys

but Spotify will allow this and Do you know that song? Maybe if I heard it. Bro, give me a little bit of this. Willie wrote that in 45 minutes. That's crazy, like how do you write that in 45? It's a fucking great song, man.

It's a great song and it's so, it's right. He's right. Yeah. He's right and you know. It's interesting to see the evolution of rap, you know, like when it started it was like very socially conscious and stuff. I know they're still doing started, it was like very socially conscious and stuff. I know they're still, they're still doing that, but in terms of what becomes popular

on a like pop scale for rap, do you know Russ at all? It's interesting hearing him talk about, he's this hip hop artist who's like independent, he was on Flagrant talking about rap and like what happens is a certain type of rap gets popular and then it moved it becomes uncool You move to the next thing like being socially conscious is cool And then just having fun and while it out is cool and then what's the next phase? You know? Yeah, yeah, so it's not like it doesn't exist. It just becomes smaller piece of the larger genre pie Mmm, and now rap is so big. There's sub genres of it like rock, you know, there's indie rock

There's and now there's emo rap, there's- Well, there always kind of was the different genres, even back in the day, like I was always a big Day Last Soul fan. Yeah, same. Three's the magic number, that's a jam, son. That's a jam, and that was very different, very different kind of hip-hop. But now it's getting so granular, like even more so. Yeah.

So that's just kind of interesting, I was like, oh, yeah, it's not a third base How did third base were they like I was the weasel because the weasel goes pop Yeah, they're white guys. You don't remember that did one of the flat top. They had like a diss track against vanilla ice Yeah, I like that battle. That's fun. Pop goes the weasel In vanilla is the weasel. And vanilla is the weasel. It's people that go pop, people, you know, they were hardcore. Third base. Oh, Yannis was talking about this.

What's interesting is that dude eventually went on to host a daytime talk show. What was it about? Which is like the poppiest thing of all time. Like a Ricky Lake type thing? Yeah, like one of them things. Did he have the flat top? I believe he kept the flat top, even when he hosted the show.

That's impressive though, that's an impressive flat top. It's a the flat top? I believe he kept the flat top, even when he hosted the show. That's impressive though, that's an impressive flat top. It's a serious flat top. I don't even know how you get that going on as a white guy. There must be some products involved. MC Search. MC Search. They were good though, man. Third base was good.

Oh yeah, yeah. They had some great jams. And MC Search had a great album himself too. It was great. They were good But for whatever reason the white guy rapper. There's only one Well, I mean the big one what M&M. Yeah, yeah, there's other ones You know, there's other great white rappers don't get me wrong But he had to be so technically proficient and it's amazing what he had to do to be able to be accepted

He needed the vouch. He needed to have the skill set that he has right because before him I think young people don't realize that's what's kind of cool about the younger generation like Gen Z and stuff is they just like Art they don't care what your vessel is right like there's a rapper rich Brian He's he's Asian and like he's great at rapping, you know, but he's like an Asian kid whereas before you weren't able to receive Music from a vessel that looks different than what the norm is. Right. Well, and then there was my man Everlast, House of Pain. That was the best of like the white rap bands by far. House of Pain was awesome.

Dude jump around to this day. When that song comes out for the UFC, when someone comes out as that song for a walk-in song, that is a great fucking walk-in song. That's a great, I'm in the gym song. You know, that's a great driving song. That's a Let's Fuck and Go song. That's a Let's Fuck and Go song.

Oh, oh, just hearing, just hearing you know it immediately. Meh, eh, eh. And then, eeh. That's it. That's all we get. That's all we get. God damn it, YouTube. That might have been too much.

Shut up. This is the beautiful freedom that we have on Spotify. I think we're going to start doing that, Jamie. I'm not going to compromise. Just Spotify exclusive. Yeah, just have little clips. Cut it out for YouTube. People know.

Yeah. We'll know. We'll put the full one out on Spotify the vibe corner God damn these rules So what is fucking rules? How is the new deal different than like no more? I must talk the new deal. It's a big part of it That makes sense. That makes sense. Yeah after the election cycle then yeah, then I can discuss back to it the bombings, right? Yeah It's just gonna be everywhere now. Well, it's gonna be on Apple

Amazon and YouTube as well as on Spotify. That's pretty great. That's awesome It's cool. So it's kind of like the way it was before the move to Spotify like you're getting pretty much Yeah, pretty much, but my deals with Spotify, right so Spotify and art like it's instead of You know deals with Spotify. Right. So Spotify and art, like it's instead of, you know, they have a vested interest in it being successful everywhere. So we're all in it together. Oh, is that the thought like, okay, we're drawing people in via Apple podcast,

these different YouTube pages. Right, and they'll make money off of it being on the other shows too. Oh, okay. It's all good. It's good for everybody. Yeah. It's good.. It's good for everybody. It's good.

And it's wider distribution is good and it's just like, look, people get attached to certain platforms. Some people are super attached to Apple and I used to be as well. I used to get all my podcasts on Apple. It was super convenient. It uploads automatically. You can set it like that so you know when the new episodes are up, it's perfect. Works great.

So I get if they didn't wanna switch over and listen to Spotify. I mean, I knew that when we first started doing it, I was like, a lot of people are gonna be like, sorry, there's a lot of shit to listen to, which is great. It's a fucking great time if you're interested in listening to stuff.

I mean, the amount of audiobooks available are fucking insane. It's insane. There's, you could never go bored. You will always get entertained or educated or something. There's so many of them. But the amount of podcasts now are, it's bonkers. There's like five million podcasts. Yeah. I remember years ago talking to Ari at the store. This is maybe like when podcasting was 2.0 or I'm like, ah, everyone has a podcast and he's like, everyone has a TV show. They don't stop making TV shows.

And that was really eye-opening to me too. Just because there's a lot of them doesn't mean there's no place for new ones. Bro, I used to tell so many people to do a podcast that it was a meme, that it was annoying. I was telling everyone to do a podcast. it was a meme, that it was annoying. I was telling everyone to do a podcast. I wasn't right. You were just, I wasn't correct. I wanna apologize to society.

I fucked up a couple of times. But I felt like, and I do feel like, I don't think it's the easiest road, but I think if you're a person who's interesting to talk to, you could find other people that are also interesting to talk to and you could find other people that are also interesting to talk to and sit down and people enjoy it. It's like, you can do it, but it's gonna take some work.

So if you dedicate yourself to it and try to figure out what you're doing wrong, what you're doing right, what makes you annoying, what's more interesting, if you do it right, treat it like any other thing, you'll get better at it. But it's not gonna come easy. There's too many of them out there. But it does, it's free.

It's free. You could just do it. You could just upload it to YouTube. It doesn't cost that much to put together. It's not like you're filming a sitcom and it costs so much of soundstage. The overhead is so low to do a podcast. So it's worth the trial of doing it.

And also I think just in the standup space, it's a great two-hander because you don't always put a special out all the time and like being able to check in with your fans week to week, they like that. Just being a part of your life and stuff. And then they kind of want to know what your baseline is offstage as well.

Cause then they feel closer to use a performer, you know? Like access is the new mystery I feel like in entertainment. Whereas before it was like oh Humphrey Bogart or these Starlets you only got glimpses of what they were and but now that's almost like a kiss of death You have to be like hey guys here. I am. I'm you know, I'm at Whole Foods. I'm getting like access They want to feel like oh, I know them, you know, that's valuable Yeah, the only guy who's not who doesn't have to play that game anymore is like Daniel DeLuis He can make shoes

Like no one's telling Daniel DeLuis to live tweet. Well, there's certain actors that are on the fringes, right? Not on the fringes meaning that they're like everybody knows who they are But they might not be the first pick for a big project Right and the only way they think they can keep their name out there is to do stuff. So they have to get photographed on red carpets and they have to sometimes they like tell the proper artsy where they're going to be. Yeah. They like work thing. They have publicists that set things up so you can casually see them, you know, doing something, you know, like fucking intimate, like working out on the beach. Yeah. You guys are here.

How crazy. I look great. I'm oiled up. What are the odds? Yeah, you know some shit like that. Oh, you guys are here? How crazy. I look great. I'm oiled up. What are the odds? Yeah, there's some silliness to it. But I get it. It's a business. Your business is you, and this is a business decision that you're making.

I get it. But it's just like, that's a different thing than comics. With us, the best thing that we have going on is this network of all of us. That's the best that we have going on is this network of all of us. That's the best thing we have going on. Because now instead of relying on Comedy Central to tell you who's good, it's a total meritocracy and it's almost always entirely based on

are you funny and are you fun? Are you fun to hang around with? And if you're funny and fun to hang around with, yay, we're all gonna have fun. And that's great for everybody. It's great awesome. People are listening. It's great for us I'm so fortunate form poppin that that it's shifted this way And now this is like a viable release route for me like I have the special coming out I get to do this I get to do bad friends. I don't have to be chosen

You don't have to be chosen and also like who better than other comedians to know what's what in the field. Right. We don't have any agenda. We're in the streets. We see what's going on. Whereas sometimes you get so high up at these corporations they just they're like okay we need this demo, we need this person, this guy's from this agency that's a favor. There's all this fuckery. A lot of fuckery. There's so much fuckery. They should not be in control of this art form. Well that's not their art form. It's our fuckery. There's so much fuckery. They should not be in control of this art form. Well, that's not their art form. It's our art form. The audience's art form. You're seeing the cracks now.

It's crumbling. I mean, I have no management now. Like, I like it that way. I just have an agency. And I'm getting approached sometimes, but like, we're at a point in entertainment and culture and stuff where, like, what value does like a 90s type manager have anymore?

Because like the blueprint is different now. Like these Hollywood opportunities don't help me as a stand-up comedian anymore. It depends on what kind of a manager you have. So if you have a really good manager, a really good manager is very beneficial because they can strategize with you about what you do and what the pros and cons of what you do are and what's the best business decision and how do you feel artistically about your set now? Have we thought about holding off for six months? You have people that are confident. Yeah, there's value in that. If you find the right person and they're keyed into what you're doing but sometimes you go places you're just part of a roster. Like they're keyed into what you're doing. But sometimes you go places, you're just part of a roster.

Yes. Like they're just... There's a problem in the same thing, it's like factory farming. They're factory farming comedy. They try to get as many comics as they can. They're collecting you? They're collecting you and hoping you pop?

Exactly. And they just siphon off some 10%. But when you're a young comic and you're coming up, the idea of being in a management company is a fucking huge deal. So it is an opportunity too, because they can get you some things that you're not gonna get without it. For sure.

Also you have to- They'll get you some good gigs. So it like also where you are in your career like I'm deep. I'm like I have a lot of connections like I'm deep dude. I know you. I'm you know I'm texting you. You should write that. That should be your new special.

I'm deep. Let's get stop us. I'm deep bro. That's it. We're be a new special I'm deep bro I'm deep bro I'm deep bro I'm deep bro I'm deep bro I'm deep bro the bro instantly negates the I'm deep is what I love I'm deep bro I mean Elon Musk can say it yeah people believe him though yeah but you know I'm saying like he can say I'm deep bro I'm deep bro he can say I'm deep bro. I'm deep bro. He can say it But some people still mock him. It's hilarious to me. Yeah, they call him the stupidest mark I alive I'm like, okay, are you gonna get a neural link? Are you gonna be like a hype beast? Just sitting in line

When I know that it's inevitable I will give up just like all of us will just like the people that wouldn't wear shoes forever And they want to wear shoes are pretty good. They're way better than no shoes. Fucking stepping on rocks and shit. Right. Cuts on your feet. I think it's just funny. Dye from infections. There's a guy who's wading it out.

Like, all right, I'll do shoes now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Looks pretty cool. The guy gets to a certain point and he's like, yeah, they were right. You can run away from cats. Yeah. I don't have talk so.

I don't have talk so anymore. I think at a certain point in time, everyone's going to get something. There's going to be some benefits to whatever it is Some interface whether you wear it or whether it's a part of your body There's gonna be benefits that you can't get without it. Have you done that Apple Vision Pro yet? I have not I am scared I am scared of Apple Vision Pro. Oh, how so I don't want to be walking around my fucking house Are you afraid you're gonna like it a hundred percent?

I'm afraid I'm gonna be sitting in my office watching movies instead of doing shit that I should be doing They show images of people on a plane with an Apple vision pro I would just be so mortified to have that Strap to my head on a plane. I would definitely strap it to my head on a plane really yeah, man You're on a fucking plane wouldn't you rather watch a giant 3d movie? It's just so it just you can watch Avatar in 3d on this fucking plane. Yeah, why you're smelling that guy's next use farts, right? You're in the fucking jungle and all of a sudden you're like Jesus Christ is this the thing about Apple vision pro then going like oh Bro smelling people's farts on planes One of the worst parts about flying well you ever get a seat that's right

I mean not anymore for you, but like you're next to the laboratory. You're like, oh, yeah I smell people's particles the whole fucking time just breathing in poop steam Yeah, sometimes I don't I don't book a seat because it'll be extra if you do it ahead of time And then you just if you leave it to the machine sometimes you get fucked bro dropping a log on a public flight is a nightmare. Yeah, that's like Joker shit It's a nightmare you get in there and you got to drop a log It's kind of waiting to get in it's kind of thrilling if you've ever shit on a plane It's the pinnacle of technology Kind of you like fuck the wheel being able to shit in the sky. Yeah. Sometimes I think about like, man,

what if the plane was see-through or something? You know it's wild. Is that sometimes when that shit, you know, it basically freezes into like a brick. And sometimes like people have been hit by it. They just drop it? I don't know how they dispose of it normally, but I know that like people's houses

have been hit by shit bricks. But they get a nice little payout, huhout I would hope you get a good payoff if frozen shit from 250 passengers falls from the sky and hits your fucking house You have a neck brace. Oh my god. Yeah a frozen piece of shit from a Delta flight Rocked me, but I got I got the money. I just normally get rid of that stuff Jamie They probably they pump it when they land would imagine that's how they do it now. But I do know that there's at least one story that I read about a house that got hit with a rock of shit. It might have been some irresponsible fucking cargo plane. They like Dave Matthews it. Remember that story when they dropped a bunch of shit from the tour bus

and it landed on some people? That Dave Matthews it remember that story when they dropped a bunch of shit like from the tour bus and it landed on some people That Dave Matthews tour bus. They got they got in trouble for that. Yeah, they don't shit from their tour I don't think Dave Matthews green lit it, but whoever was riding over the Chicago River. I think oh Like they emptied the bilge tube and it just like I might even gotten people that were one of those boats that went underneath it What an honor though Dave Matthews shit drenching you like if you're a huge fan Bro, I hope that guy got fired. That's the crazy roadie that gets some pills The product happened it shows it the afternoon of August 8th 2004 at this very location the Dave Matthews Band tour bus emptied the septic tank over the Chicago River

Drenching passengers on a boat tour with 800 pounds of human poop no one died that day, but many wish they had Wow Poop falling from the sky thing here is interesting with that but hold on the budge is that one that's real But many wish they had. Wow. So much poop. Poop falling from the sky thing here is interesting. With that, but hold on. But just that one that's real. I've been on that boat tour. Could you imagine you just open the pipe over the water on a bridge?

Well, just bad timing. What if those people weren't there? Would they have gotten away with it? Did he even check? That's a good point. How do you not know? How do you not know there's not a boat filled with a tour of people because it's an architectural tour you're taking in all these wonderful you get drenched with shit from the sky do you think you feel

better when you find out it's a Dave Matthews though because you just think it's a rando shit what you think you get paid that's a Dave Matthews though because you just think it's a rando shit. Well, you think you getting paid That's a good point. How did that go down? There had to be a lawsuit, right? I thought I had something to say go you can come to a concert you got 18 months of probation on 50 hours community service Stefan wall bro $10,000 fine, which is paid to the friends Chicago River. That's it. I would do it again for that price We're not on the bus the the bus which is reportedly being used by the band violinist Boy tinsley was not occupied at the time of the incident the Dave Matthews band eventually agreed to pay $200,000 to settle a lawsuit filed by state Attorney General Lisa Madigan

Will never drove a bus for the band again Like we're watching a movie Exactly will never drove a bus again by me Uh-huh, and then you see the credits after that Someone please do a bio pic on this bus driver bro imagine If they didn't fire him imagine they're like hey people make mistakes. Yeah, you got good pills I vouch for him he He had one slip up. He, it was a mistake.

He's great in every other regard. He pressed the wrong button. Don't judge this poop thing. And dump poop 800 pounds of it. Bro, how about drain that thing for it gets to 800 pounds? That's a lot. How many people are shitting in there? He's got it.

Reading the thing about the planes, I've never even thought of this and this is disgusting. Cruise lines. Oh god. That's so much shit that there's apparently a law for example sewage needs to be treated if it's going to be flushed within three miles of the coastline oh my god when they're out in the middle of nowhere average cruise ship generates an average of 21,000 gallons of sewage and 170,000 gallons of what they call gray water. Oh my god. Which is water from the drains of sink showers, laundry machines, and has all sorts of stuff.

It's a mini Fukushima. All over the ocean. They just send in the elderly Japanese people to fix the septic leak in there. It's a mini Fukushima everywhere in the ocean. Oh, and on the space station, since you're in this 90% water, they kind of reuse some of it, it says. Oh, good Lord.

They recycle it. Yeah, they recycle the water since it's to a processor. That's less disgusting. I know it is, but. But the, man. Have you done cruise ship stand up on a cruise ship? No, no.

You wanna hear something crazy. They took cargo boats and for the UN Climate change standards they changed the emission standards these cargo boats and a very unexpected thing happened The the water temperature got warmer because there's less Hays in the sky so the haze in the sky was actually cooling things off So they're fucking pollution from these cargo ships the The diminishing of the pollution from the cargo ships actually made the water warmer Huh, the total opposite thing that they wanted to happen happen And then what do they do just like whoops whoops

Whoops we had a theory which is what's a lot of this like climate change speculation is all about whoops There's a lot of oh, well, we didn't see that coming. Yeah, you know what scares the fuck out of me, dude is Ice age and ice age scares the fuck out of me because that's not a there's not a goddamn thing You could do about it. I'm not happy if the world gets warmer and we lose California, but You know move in Fucking the reason why Atlantis is at the bottom of the ocean kids. Okay, things change these change adjust and move I was here when there was that the Blizzard in Austin. I was out here. Let's not bring in a goddamn ice age

Yeah, when these crazy fuckers are talking about spraying things in the sky to cool The earth down like hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Let's talk this through first the whole fucking planet not you wacky dudes Talking to a strange scientists in the middle of the Pentagon like let's all talk this through before we do anything Let's all talk this through before you spray the sky to cool the earth off and bring in hell, bring in the white walkers. It's going to turn into Game of Thrones. The last thing you want is it to get colder.

That is the fucking last thing you want. Take it from a guy who's been camping in Montana. You do not want to be in the cold. You don't. You don't want it You don't want fucking mile-high caps of ice over most of North America like it was 10,000 years ago. Are you stupid? It gets to like 50 in LA and I'm like this is cold This is not bad like what we got going on if this is like

This is not bad if he gets a little warmer. It's not as good, but we're gonna be okay Not bad if it gets a little warmer. It's not as good, but we're gonna be okay We can sort out warming right and the fucking the ocean levels is kind of the same like what happened to all that Al Gore stuff remember from that movie Oh, yeah, I thought Miami's gonna be under water What were the predictions because they were kind of crazy for a guy I'm not a came true like we'd be swimming in the spot. Yes. We'd be done. We'd be done. Yeah, this is too low We're only like 1500 feet above sea level. Huh? I could tell you I'm not wearing my watch. I have a watch. It'll tell you where you're at really dope I just do the apple watch in it dope to the apple watch is kind of like the Prius of watches like people can't tell if you're rich or poor

The Apple Watch is kind of like the Prius of watches. Like people can't tell if you're rich or poor. Well, Apple Watch is a great watch. And the Ultra is the shit. The Apple Watch Ultra, Redbeard is that. That is the shit. How is it different than like what I got? It's just bigger, more battery, more features, a larger screen.

It's a little bit more like I'm a robot. This is so dumb, but like the biggest feature I use on this watch is like when I'm cooking and I'm like set timer for two minutes. Like I'm Dick Tracy. right? I use it for laundry. I just use it as a timer. That's like the big sell to me Well, you know red band is like a giant. I imagine he's on an Apple vision right now Most likely the most earliest adopter. He has an earl ink right now. I'm sure he'll get that for sure Yeah, he'll be the first to try it out He's like it's got some kinks. Yeah, he's bleeding.

I should have waited. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I should have waited until they're going to fix it though. I'm giving some notes to Elon, but it's good. I'm glad I did it. If you do get it, you will have such an advantage. That's the problem. If it does work, the thing is if it works, and what are the side effects, and how long

does it last, and what if it breaks, and what if Russia it last? What if it breaks and what if Russia hacks it? You're speaking Russian. What is the heck it? What if like the moment it gets to a certain number of people that have it China flips a switch? I mean just something happening in your brain is such a big cell, right? Like it's not a hard cell. It's a hard cell. That's a fucking hard cell But then there's toxoplasmosis which is in there for 40% of us. What is plasmosis? That's how we talked about earlier the cat thing. Ah toxo Fuck you're just willingly get willingly get toxo. Yeah, maybe the the cell phone thing will be like a

Neurological electronic toxo. What what is the promise of Neurolink? Well initially the first person that they did it on, which is fairly recently, is a person who's paralyzed and through neural link, he can now move a cursor around and he can do things and he's going to be able to express himself the way Elon said at the speed of a carnival barker. Wow. Yeah. Those guys are fast.

They're fast. Very fast, very fast, very fast. So the idea is that he'll be able to communicate, which is for a person who's been paralyzed and can't operate a cursor or computer is huge, right? So that's one thing. They eventually think they may be able to use it to let people who have been paralyzed move. Like a walk again? Yeah. What is the work that's been done on that specifically,

Jamie Oseka? I don't want to talk out of school. The people being able to eventually, they hope that it'd be able to restore movement to people with nerve damage. Right now, I think there's still, when I've looked this up online, there's a little bit of a push back from some people.

Because the only way that this has been announced that it works is just Elon's tweet. There hasn't been any other proof, I guess, if you will. I'm all in. If Elon tweeted it, it's gotta be legit. Yeah. He's a wild boy. He's so wild. He just tweets things.

Does he come by the club a lot? He's been the club. Has he been the club? I imagine he's so busy. He's been a lot of the stuff shows. I doubt he's like hanging there every day. No, I don't think he has been he might have what came down when Dave was here. Oh But it's awesome having him around he's a fascinating dude I mean how exciting for the comics like yo, he's here. Well, he came to a bunch of our shows when he had stubs. Oh Cool. Yeah

It's like that was when there was nothing to do. Well I got to do one of those Stubbs shows. Those were so fun. When I had that writing job it was like Willy Wonka you're like hey I'm doing a show with me and Chappelle at Stubbs. Do you want to? And I'm literally like writing a sitcom you know I'm in a writer's room and it's like kind of boring and to get this awesome like call to the you know bullpen like yeah do you want to come? Like yeah let me ask them real quick I go and I still have to add I'm like hey guys Uh, I might do a show Joe Rogan and Dave Chappelle. Can I leave like 30 minutes early and they're so cool They're like yeah, yeah, go it's like a rom-com. They're like, well, what are you doing go after her?

You know because like This is very cool for them I'm like very fortunate. They're very supportive and stuff and stand-ups Like rock starry and they were very cool like yeah, please take the go leave 30 minutes early do the show tell us how it is Yeah, so envious like have fun right and then you pick me up in your fucking muscle car like You know it gets more absurd I was gonna pick you up in the coolest car. Yeah. Yeah, you go you'll hear it coming And literally you show either

It smells like a boat that thinks America. Yeah, and then Chappelle you showed him the car I remember after the show And he's just like floored this he's like what all let me check take out Let me check this thing out blah And he was loving the car. And then we drove to the after party. Yeah. This was just such a surreal night for me. Because we do the show. It's amazing. It's an alternate universe where comedy is happening and it's not happening in L.A.

You know, the show is amazing. It's fun. And then and then we I'm just laying in the cut. I don't want to overextend. You know, I'm just so grateful to be doing to be asked to do the show and you already drove me. So all the comics and Dave's friends and stuff are piled in the car. Dave is in the passenger seat and then you're like, Hey, Paheem, get in. Like, I wasn't even going to ask. I was going to Uber.

I was just going to be forgotten, you know, but you're like, Paheem, get in. So Dave Chappelle has to like do the human thing of like pushing his seat up. So I'm like, excuse me, Mr. Chappelle, can I? You know? So I'm having a squish Chappelle to get into the back of this car and then you just like, you're ripping. You're ripping in this thing.

And I just thought like, man, if I died in this car, I would not make the article. It would say Joe Rogan, Dave Chappelle, and like two other guys died. You know what I mean? They probably mentioned your name. I don't know, I don't know. But at that moment, at that moment, no, I would be a guy.

But that was such a fun experience. Just like what a wild night. Yeah, it was very fun. Those shows at Stubbs were like medicine, you know? I didn't really realize how much we needed. Well, have a good time. The crowds too, they were so appreciative. That's one of the things I noticed

when I was doing stand-up out here is the thirst and like it was human nature for, as much as we needed it, the audience needed it too. To have that kind of release and something to go to rather than just being in your house all day. Yeah, yeah, people felt trapped and they didn't, it didn't make sense when a bunch of them, one of the things we did at the shows of the Vulcan,

like how many guys had COVID? And like more than half the crowd would raise their hands. You know? They go, who wants to get it tonight? People on stage open your mouth. Ah like even baptized. Yeah, it was weird the power of COVID compelled you People started treating it like a regular cold You know, that's I feel like that's what it is now Oh, it definitely is now

Unless you're insane You're one of those people that talks outside with a fucking mask on. There's still some people that are insane. They're just insane. But it's also a leftist flag. I say it's like the Democrats' MAGA hat. You wear that mask. Unless you're an old person and you're really scared and you have a bad immune system, I get it. When I see it at the grocery store, it's like seeing someone in a throwback jersey. You know what I mean? Like, ah, okay. It's like a cool old Mariners jersey. There's a lot of people that still believe in it. They still believe that you could breathe through something and it protects you from

a terrible disease. Could you imagine like thinking that the plague is in this neighborhood? Like, like some fucking 28 days later disease is in this neighborhood. You can just pull paper mask over your face. You're good. You feel comfortable. How about what's going in your eyes, stupid? Because that's one of the major ways

that people get infected. It's through eye contact, through hand to eye. Like your eyes, like when people sneeze, you get it in your eyes. You ever see- You fucking, you tell me, you're breathing air. How's it get into your face? You'll see like rapid COVID testing places on corners.

And I almost look at those as like a psychic spot. You know what I mean? It kind of has the same feel like who's going into these. Oh yeah. Super inaccurate. I know a bunch of people who tested negative turned out to be positive. It's tricky man that fucking disease keeps mutating. It's a bunch of hundred different fucking strains now. Who knows how many different variants are there now? Yeah, how many it's like like six how many variants are there seven? How many how many COVID variants have been identified? Let's find that out. Let's say yes. This is the COVID I guess I say there's 14 I Say 15 I'm gonna price is right you

15 I hope it's 14 Come on, what's the low number you think it is? Eight I think seven. I'm gonna prices right you bitch fuck I Got to walk behind the set of prices right while it was taping really it was kind of not yeah Cuz like my girlfriend the time carry doing it. Yeah, oh that's true. Well, he's a great dude like during during the strike. He was paying every one like there's that diner Swingers he was paying everybody's bill. So if you could get a free meal Oh, it's as a nice guy just as part of the writer strike like if you were in the WGA or whatever All your meals were covered. That's amazing.

Good for him. That's beautiful. Everybody says he's a great guy. He's such a stand-up guy. He came by the Hollywood improv one time. That was kind of cool, because he's not a guy who pops in a ton. Yeah, I met him at the improv one night, and he was given really good advice of some young comic.

What was the advice? Who's saying just if you could write one minute joke every day? Just write one joke every day. Over time, you'd be surprised at how much material you could write. That's how I feel about writing totally. You just kind of build it in pieces. And then if you are regimented about it, when you look back at your notes, you've done all the work.

I always feel like it's like mining. That sometimes I just hit rocks. I'm just hitting rocks but every now and then if I keep mining I find something cool variance of concern hmm so that's there's classifications right I guess we could play this game how many variants of concern yeah let's be concerned okay let's okay let's let's start with that how many variants of concern are there there's three three variants of concern your way off There are omicron variants. Okay, there's a Under monitoring which has got two so we're at five so it's five under man and now de-escalated over 50 of that

Over 50 holy shit dude, I don't know how they classify them. Bro. That's crazy. There's 50 variants No longer circulating like it's not hip anymore Yeah, it's just there's different spike mutations of interest. Oh god. Yeah, I don't know how scary is all that stuff How scary is this they keep doing this gain of function research? They're like, let's just keep oh is that is that how cover started the gain of function research. They're like, let's just keep, I think. Oh, is that how COVID started, the gain of function? That's the primary theory. What is gain of function? Gain of function is when you take a virus

and you engineer it to make it so that it works on humans. So they'll take a virus that works on bats and they'll engineer it so that human beings can catch it. Like, let us get it on that. What a great idea. And they make it like super contagious. Also, a great idea. Yeah. And they make it like super contagious. Also, a great idea.

For those unfamiliar with gain and function research, it essentially means juicing up naturally occurring animal viruses in a lab that make them more infectious amongst humans. Practice is nothing new. Scientists in the United States have long known how to mutate animal viruses to infect humans. Sure. Yeah. The practice is nothing new. long known how to mutate animal viruses to infect humans. Sure. Yeah.

The practice is nothing new. It doesn't mean it's not a fucking terrible idea. Like what good has come out of it? That's my question. Do you guys know how to stop these things from happening? Because it seems like you didn't stop that last one. So what benefit are we getting from the potential of you unleashing deadly superviruses to the world? And is this a thing where because you can do it, you do. potential of you unleashing deadly super viruses to the world and

Is this a thing where because you can do it you do it because you can get funding because that's what you studied in school They just got bored. I think it's like this is that thing was with their businesses, right? What's your business my business studying viruses? Can I get research to study by it? Can I get funds? Well if you agree with what we say and Publicly will give you funds and you can do research and oh, it's not legal for us to fund that research Why don't we fund this company and that company? I'm gonna be sitting we could say I don't know what you're talking about and then you know You could change what you describe as gain of function and you could say I am the expert

I am science and that's what we went through. We went through that for three fucking years. It's all about funding, man. And at the end of the day, it's pretty clear that shit came from a lab. It's pretty clear to all the people that are making any fucking sense that aren't gaslighting the fuck out of you. Yeah, I was thought about like, what if you're the guy who loved batwing soup and it was getting a bad rap unnecessarily? Right. Like, guys, it's not loved batwing soup and it was getting a bad rap unnecessarily

Right like guys. It's not the batwing soup and now he's vindicated like yes. I told you I can continue eating this soup I can keep eating pangolin stew Yeah, you gave my stew a bad name. Yeah remember they were trying to pin it on the pangolin that was a lot that South Park episode is amazing Freakiest freakiest little animal look a little dinosaur kind of a cute guy though again just like that fucking turtle if that thing was gigantic storming through a village imagine I mean imagine a monster like it's eating ants here but imagine just eating humans imagine just plowing through some

fucking thatch huts that tongue is slicing you and just ripping people's legs apart in front of their Families just chewing them choking them down you have you in bugs giant pangolin? Yeah, I mean a bunch of bugs I hosted fear factor so no so is that part of it you had to eat it no I did it because like I did it to get people to do it like if they were like I can't do it I'm like you can look I'll do it. I'll do it easy I just grab a roach and I just chuck the hydro. Look, yummy. I did it to a couple different things.

I ate a few different things. And what's your take on the bugs? Some of them pretty good or they'll grow? Roaches are surprisingly tasteless. It's so gross, ew. Yeah, and it was a big one. A Madagascar hissing cockroach. Alive or dead?

Alive. I just grabbed it and ate them. They're surprisingly tasteless. You get over the fact that you're eating a bug and the squish in your mouth, but it doesn't taste like much And the thing about bugs is people been eating bugs forever animals have been eating bugs forever I mean bugs. This is me looking. Oh so cutie back then watch. I'm gonna choke this thing down. Oh Bro, oh the crunching. Yeah, it was very crunchy. Ah, bro. Ah, the crunching. Yeah, it was very crunching.

Oh, ha. Jesus. I was laughing at the same time, too. Were the crew people like, you don't have to do this? No, I was doing it to try to get this girl to do it. Did she do it? She wound up eating worms instead, which I thought was worse. We made a deal with her.

Two worms. Two worms are a roach. What was the thought when you did Fear Factor? I heard it was, you didn't love acting as much? Is that what it was? Well, the process of sitcoms is great when it's up and running, but it's brutal to begin. Like the early days of News Radio were like.

I love that show by the way. Thank you, it's great shows. I loved watching it. That was like 16 hour days. You work crazy long days and the writers are busting their ass and the actors are everyone's tired, the crew's tired. It's hard to put together those fucking shows. I thought sitcom was a better schedule. Like I heard these 16 hour days are with single cams and stuff. Once they get going, the thing is you have to figure out a way to make it a well oiled machine and that takes a long time

It takes the actors have to be in line They have to figure out who whose strengths are the writers have to be in line that they have to get support from the network It's a grind man. Did you guys eventually get to a stream line to the point where we didn't even have to work five days a Week we only work four days a week and one of the days was just a table read So we'd come in there would be a table read and there'd be some revisions The writers would get together and they'd come up with new scripts and the writers are crazy They would they would write like really late at night like that was their thing to get silly to like be exhausted. Yeah Yeah, just delirious. Yeah, they just get completely delirious and write the most ridiculous shit was really fun

They would come stumbling in like barely awake at like nine in the morning when we're all there. They had just finished, you know, and some of them sometimes they didn't finish. Sometimes they had like one half of the script and they were still tightening up the second half. So they'd give you the first half of the script. You'd work on it until lunch. Everybody lunched and then they would come back with the second half of the script and you'd work the rest of it out. And in the beginning it was exciting and it was fun and everything, but I was like, I, this is not my jam. You know, this is really fun to do.

You're great at it. It's fun to do, thanks. It's fun. Acting's fun, with fun people. But eventually I was like, I just like doing stand up and I like doing other things. And then this show, Fear Factor, I was like, I was like, this is gonna get canceled immediately.

Like you're sick and dogs on people on television and making them eat animal dicks. Like I'm in, let's go. You're going to make them ride bulls? Okay. I'm like, okay. So they came to you first. You were first option. They go, do you want to host this show?

Well they didn't know who was going to host it. They met with a bunch of people. And it was NBC, right? It was NBC. So I had just been on NBC for News Radio And so I had a relationship with them and so then when this came up it was just like they they said You know, there was two thoughts one have someone hosted that was like Like a sports guy, you know like fear is not a factor for them Yeah, like down the middle or someone who's like laughing while this crazy shit was going on

So they chose me so that I think it works better. It worked out Yeah, well you had to make fun of some of it because it was so crazy that you were doing this and some of the things I was like don't do it. I would tell people don't do it like the bull riding like don't do it They're not paying you enough for no one's paying you enough to ride a fucking bull You get kicked in the head by a bull your life has changed forever. I'm like, I'm not gonna do what you want But you don't have health insurance. I wouldn't do it. I told them all I'm like I wouldn't do it They were trying to tell me that was stunt bulls. I got that bull does not know it's a stunt bull That bull thinks it's a fucking bull doesn't even know what a stunt bull is

That's a giant fucking angry animal that doesn't want you on its back And you're getting like untrained people and you're putting a helmet on them Yeah, and a chest plate some data entry guy hopping on a bowl Hoping their arm doesn't get shattered into a fucking million pieces if they're lucky. That's a good TV. Joe kicked in the face Yeah, terrifying Shows like wipe out even I'm like I Why would I risk this? Yeah? Yeah, they just love people get him fucked up. Yeah Well, it's like hey, this is the game we play I guess and then also you we saw that guy jumping over the bowls

I guess I have a fucking mind too, but he's He's willingly doing that and he's in he's in control. He's not being thrust into it. Yeah, this is his life But in their defense there are people that go on fear factor or they're one of your factor like serious fucking athletes and They excelled at a lot of these things and you look Oh, well if you're like a real athlete you could do some of this shit And you could do it better than everybody else just like you could play football better than everybody else or wrestle better than everybody else So it wasn't all eating shit. No, no, no, no physical stunts like we had a celebrity one one and the Miz WWE the Miz he was on it he won that fucking dudes an athlete like a

Real athlete like he held his breath underwater while swimming for like two fucking minutes or three minutes It was something crazy. He was doing some stunt They had to dive into water and do a bunch of shit and come out I forget what it was, but I was like that guy's a stud because like that is hard like me as a person who's like I've tried to hold my breath for long periods of time underwater, I've swam. I'm like that's fucking hard to do. That water's cold as shit,

which really freaks you out when you get in there. Everything like tightens up. If you're not accustomed to jumping into cold water, it's very difficult to stay relaxed. This dude swimming around in there for like three minutes. I'm like, that's an animal. So there's like, yeah, you shouldn't ride a bull but some of those fucking things that people do it's like if you're a real athlete you can excel at a lot of these things what

was the grand prize for these things depend on the show I mean in some shows we gave away a million dollars but that was only a couple of them most of the time they got like I think it was 50, but then after taxes it's only like 34. The government's like, I ate those dicks, we ate those dicks. The government's like, where's my money? Where's my cut? The government didn't eat any dicks and they get 16 grand. Yeah, Uncle Sam didn't eat dicks.

Yeah, they ate zero dick and they get 16. Yeah, and I gotta give my dick money to this guy. All the dick, you get 34. Yeah. Fortunately, you you know praise the baby jesus nobody got hurt all that's good nobody got really hurt people get like spring dangles and shirt was an ironclad contract of these people side i'm sure it was nuts i'm sure it was not but i'd legitimately thought it was gonna be canceled immediately and it lasted how long six fucking years hundred forty eight episodes and then

we came back and did it six more and then it got canceled the second time because people had a drink jizz Because you got released get released on TMZ They they got a hold of the the video and the photo somebody Leaked it what kind of jizz donkey jizz, which is just useless jizz Was it mule jizz or donkey jizz? I think it was that I chose donkeys. I think it's you like the mule jizz sterile jizz It's the you can't like mules. You can't they can't impregnate anyone. Yeah, I think they call it donkey jizz though

I think it might have been actually mule jizz. I was that was the cheapest stuff. That's the budget You know, there's a budget when you're working on a show. Yeah, we can't get the thoroughbred jizz. Yeah thoroughbred jizz is super expensive It's a gold. What is that? It's like dollars. Yeah, right under that guy that yoga guy like what was he? Oh, oh, you ever see that What is like people will pay one million dollars for one drop of my sperm? Sounds like a lance bit So this is donky juice so drop of my sperm. That's what he said. It sounds like a lance bit. It does. It does. I love donkey juice, so. They called it donkey juice, but I think that's just because donkey's a funnier name than

mule juice. That's a good point. And so, yeah, so they had to do it. And there was twins. So one had a drink urine and one had a drink jizz. And depending upon your score, depending upon how many ounces you had to drink, rough stuff, ladies and gentlemen. And that's another show where I said, don't do it.

And they're like, NBC signed off on it. I don't give a fuck. I'm like, this is, first of all... This is outrageous and I've seen a lot of stuff. High as a kite. Okay. I'd never do that show sober. From episode like four on, I would take pot edibles for every show.

I was like, let's go. I made it fun. I'm sure it enhanced the experience it made it so much more fun but that was one day where I was like you guys are freaking me out like don't do this this is a terrible idea did you know that this could be the end like doing this stunt 100% you're making people drink jizz I couldn't believe that I was the one the voice of reason yeah I was the one the voice of reason Yeah, I was the one it was stepping in go. Hey guys the guy on the edible can't make people drink jizz on television while people are eating dinner The writers are like we think it's good. We workshop. Imagine trying to explain that to little kids all over the world

What's jizz? I think in other countries they did play it. That's why it's still available on YouTube I could still find that that band episode. I think in other countries they did play it. That's why it's still available on YouTube I could still find that that band episode. I think in some countries. I think they played it in Holland They played in some European countries. Well, they're way more chill with you'll jizz out there. They're like hey, you know Yeah, it's like nudity in France like they're very cool with mule jizz. Well fear factor actually started out in Holland What was it called? I think it was called now or never land Pretty sure was Holland and then they bought it and then Now or Neverland. Pretty sure it was Holland. And then they bought it and they changed it to Fear Factor and brought it to America. I guess every game show is just a remix of something overseas.

We do that a lot. But what it was for me, dude, was like my escape package. Your parachute? Yeah, the my fuck You package did you do whatever I wanted and that's when the podcast came after I was done with that Yeah, you have a great sixth sense for just like not even stumbling but just like knowing what the next thing is You know like fear factor Gave you nice parachute away from sitcom and all that stuff you didn't like and then podcasting was a nice runway to get into that And then you were so early to UFC to you know

You but the UFC thing was that that was the craziest because I was into the UFC when it was in 1997 I remember when you had to go through a beaded curtain to watch you I had to go through a beaded curtain. Yeah, you have to go to the dirty. Yeah, I remember Yeah, you had to like walk by porno and shit to get to UFC tapes I was at my friend Leo Mariama. I believe this is last night this Japanese kid He had a UFC tape for his birthday party and he popped that in and this was like wild You couldn't believe it was real yeah, these guys are beating the shit out of each other. This is crazy So you couldn't just get it. It was hard to get. Yeah

So I started working for them in 97 UFC 12 and Dothan, Alabama And it was just crazy like a half-filled like high school auditorium looking place What do you think the biggest jump was TV? Yeah getting on spike TV It's one of those things where people just needed to see it. They needed to see it to know how exciting it is. There's certain things that people just don't know yet, and then they got it on Spike TV. It was all Dana White and the Fratida Brothers. If they didn't, they were like $40 million in debt before it really hit.

What was their venture? Did they have a venture before UFC? Like what were they doing? Well, they don't get Zenos. So they were wealthy, but they were fucking hemorrhaging money. I mean, hemorrhaging money doing that program. But I, you know, I was like, God damn, just the world needs a C. If the world could see, it's so entertaining. It transcends all cultural boundaries. What fighting is, is something that's in human beings DNA and when you see a really great fight between two highly skilled

at the peak of condition just warriors the best in the world and we see them going to war inside of a cage with these little gloves on and shorts no shoes on just fucking tea and off on each other it is wild to see there's nothing like it in all of sports nothing like it man a real high-level championship fight there's nothing like it man and I knew people just had to see it and if they could see it they could see what I see because this is universal it's not like a game like cricket You could be awesome at cricket. I don't know what the fuck's going on I know you're trying to hit that thing with the paddle doesn't make any sense to me. I don't know the rules

I'm not interested fighting anyone can wrap their head around what's going on You know, everyone knows what's going on you will kick somebody in the head. Everybody saw that that's crazy What the fuck just happened you get that guy an on an armbar and break his arm. Like what? He just broke his arm. This is crazy. This is nuts. What is this?

It's just universal. I knew it'd be universal. Yeah, fighting is pretty universal. I'll watch these wrestling documentaries. They're so good. Every wrestling documentary is amazing. And I think that's part of the appeal of wrestling they talk about because it's such a, it's a play.

It's so simple fighting, you know? Everyone knows this. And there's so many elements you can have on top of, like going heel and it's dramatic. It's inherently dramatic. It's almost the simplest form of entertainment fighting. Right. Well, in a lot of ways, yeah.

It's also such a dangerous game, man. Such a dangerous game. It's hard for guys to know when to stop playing it. It's hard for guys to know when to get out. And you see all the great ones, man. All the great ones fall. And it's just part of the game. Has anyone got out at the right time?

George S. Pierre. Yeah. He did it the most intelligently. Better than anybody. He went out as a champion. He retired it the most intelligently, better than anybody. He went out as a champion, he retired after defending his belt, and then he came back and he fought Michael Bisping for the middleweight title and beat him and then retired again. So that's it. And he's got all his faculties, he talked to him, he's great, he's super happy, still very healthy

and fit, still constantly trains martial arts, comes to Austin all the time to train with Gordon Ryan and John Donahue. So he's here all the time and he's just a martial artist. I mean, and a great spokesperson. He's a great example of what is possible, like that you can be one of the greatest of all time without a doubt. George St. Pierre will go down in history as one of the greatest mixed martial artists of all time, for sure. He's definitely in the conversation of the goat. There's a few people that are in that conversation, but he's definitely in there. But that guy's totally fine today.

He figured it out. He's very smart. One of the rare people. One of the rarest of rare. Checked out. Yeah. He's smart. He got out at the right time, and he's got all his faculties and he's doing great and that's a beautiful example

But for every one of George St. Pierre there's guys that leave and you can tell they're slow You tell their compromise you can tell they've been they've been in some wars and that sucks too. That sucks to see Yeah, that sucks it sucks to see the old guys are just like but just broken down man And a lot of them physically broken down. Like they can't move well anymore. I mean, I can imagine, jeez. Their backs are all fucked up, punch back surgeries, knee surgeries, you know.

It's just such a brutal, brutal way to make a living. But yeah, when I started getting into that, man, it was like doing porn. Like people were like, what are you doing? The fuck are you doing? Why are you getting involved in this? You have a sitcom career. I was on news radio while I was doing it.

You'll see in a few years, you'll see. I don't think anybody believed it. Nobody believed it. But I was like, look, I can't help you. Well, it's a great lesson. It's a great lesson in just following what your passion is and then the rest kind of like falls into plays. If you're lucky, you lucky Just wind up a car thief

These could go back you really love it. You really love stealing cars though. Yeah, some people do remember that movie with Charlie Sheen and some other dude. I forgot the other dude. He they would just steal Porsches DB Sweeney's who's the other dude was in it the fun movie What was it around the era of gone in 60 seconds or oh before that man It's an old-ass movie. It was this dude would just steal Porsches It's like 1980s Porsches, which were really cool little cars, man It's such a different thing than a Porsche of today those little like minimized little sporty cars and he would steal these sporty cars and

The whole movie is just like a love affair. I love this poster. Yeah, it's great. Who's the other dude? Is that ice man? Is it DB Sweeney? Yeah, it is no man's land It's just a it's just a Porsche Infomercial the whole movies about you if you get this movie and watch it You don't want to buy an old Porsche to something wrong with you So go to a doctor remember Italian remember Italian job where it was just like a mini commercial see look at this What what years that is that? Frank it they got the

The toothpick come on Bro those cars are the shit I want a portion of toothpick right now Those cars are very difficult to handle those cities They saw a car like let's get it and they hop out and Charlie sheen was a cop who's undercover Right isn't that the plot pretty sure And Charlie she's gonna this guy's got a cabrio lay Phone car. Oh, I think that's an alarm. Oh, I think it's one of them alarm jobs Yeah, see cuz it's flashing. It's like oh, there's an alarm on this car. So it's gonna be harder Yeah, so you have to look around

Do you know what you're doing man? Yeah, bro. I must steal his Porsche. Oh shit. Is he gonna use it? Okay, by the way, if you have a convertible, can you just cut the top? Oh Here comes the knife. So this is how you do it Is he gonna cut the top? Ooh nice one looking for the spot. This is very sensual. Yes very This is why you shouldn't have a convertible. Yeah, I'll steal it get a cloth house This is why you shouldn't have a convertible. Yeah, Charlie Sheen will steal it. Get a cloth house.

So Charlie Sheen's going to cut that. Right. Was he going to do a pop it? OK. It's that simple, huh? Yeah, he's going to pop the convertible. Hey, what are you doing? That's my Porsche.

Oh, shit. God just shoots at him. All right, now we're. Oh, now we're getting into. Yeah. Yeah, so here we go. Oh Now we're getting into yeah, yeah, so here we go. They're just shooting at them Jesus Yeah A lot of great cars in this movie spoilers It's a dumbass movie, but every guy loved it. I'm sure oh, yeah, the Porsches are awesome awesome to watch some speed away these little portions

Tempton Carly Charlie Sheen car movie how many you got another one came up I've never heard of sci-fi movie called the race well. What is that? It's like Knight Rider 1986 Man, I love old trailers Oh, he's mad that's weak. What is that? It's a cyber truck Oh Oh My god He's kind of going off the rails right yeah, is he yeah, he went a little off the rails Boy this movie looks dumb as shit.

It was the year before. You know he was in a one good movie that people sleep on. It was a science fiction movie. No, no Charlie Sheen. The Arrival? No. Oh I love that movie. Is that it was called? Isn't the Arrival the one? Well there's two of them I think. The Arrival I love. movie well, is that it was called? There's two of them. I love there's the Dennis there's a new one where the specials like a coffee bean is it oh because they're both Have the same name. I love this. Okay. Yeah, this is the this is the Charlie Sheen one. This is really good This one is like underrated. I agree very underrated sci-fi movie with the aliens are weird like the leg thing Yeah, such a great reveal. It's cool. It's a cool movie.

It's like it doesn't get the credit it deserves. It's actually a cool movie. But then there's the other arrival, which is really cool. I like that one too. That one's amazing. Yeah. Because that one to me feels more like what it probably would be like. Like how do we communicate with these beings?

Right, right, right. That guy who did Sicario. That was so original too. He did, he's doing Dune too. He did the first one that oh, that's just a rival and the other one is the arrival Arrivals a fucking great movie. That's a great movie. Yeah, what's the best alien movie of all time? It has to be alien. I mean it's right there. That has to be number one. That's the best. What's in contention you think? I mean, it's right there. That has to be number one. That's the best alien movie.

What's in contention, you think? Nothing. Alien, and that's it. It's alien, and that is everybody else playing for second best. What about Independence Day? That's kind of like... Ah, it's hilarious.

That's not like... Close encounters is pretty goddamn good, too. Close encounters is pretty fucking amazing. That might be the best UFO alien movie, but the best in space alien movie is alien try to be serious cuz it meant a black is a good movie that's a good point that's a comedy not even serious in any way

it's a fun movie but as far as movies you'd say you have to see this movie like the original alien Ridley Scott that movie is fucking incredible that movie so good and that was a movie where Sigourney Weaver was the lead badass. Oh, yeah, which was a rare thing Was that the first of that archetype that I believe so I believe so if I had to think like a successful mainstream movie super heroine Can I pee real quick? Yeah, yeah, we'll pee we're right back And we're back and we're just talking about Sigourney Weaver in alien Can I pee real quick? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll pee. We'll be right back. Everybody, you know? And we're back.

And we're back. What were we just talking about? Sigourney Weaver in Alien. So, she had to be the first superheroine. The first lead action movie badass woman. Who was before her? I don't know who would be before her. Jackie Brown?

No, that was after her. That was after her. Right after her. That was right after her. Well, that's Jackie Brown. right yeah that's Karen Tarantino because alien was 79 but yeah there'd be no Michelle Rodriguez without Sigourney Weaver tank top hot heroine too she was in aliens to with Sigourney we've how many aliens are there four five or six with a bunch now because the alien the covenant that's a really good one because the alien the covenant that's

a really good one was it was the last one there was Prometheus and then the covenant covenant was the last one right that's correct you see the new predator yes is it good we're talking about the one with the Native American lady it's on I think it's on who pray that's dope okay okay that's fun check it out that's fun it's ridiculous it's fun it's good it's as good as the Charlie Sheen Porsche heist movie almost almost okay it. That's fun. It's ridiculous. It's fun. It's good. Is it as good as the Charlie Sheen Porsche Heist movie?

Almost. Almost. Okay. If it's close, if it's close, I'm game. It's fun. It's fun movie. So female John Wick with aliens. I'm sold.

I'm sold. They even went, like when they gave up, they went predator versus alien. Remember that? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck are you doing? I feel like there was a Taco Bell tie-in. I'm sure. Like when they gave up they'd went predator versus alien remember that There's a Taco Bell tie-in Yeah, why not why wouldn't it be? You weren't really wrong because Pam Greer is Jackie Brown, right? Oh, there was one before she was playing She was in movies in the 70s, right? Why she was Jackie Brown? I think right what movies was she in the 70s though? Foxy Brown

The thing about it is though I don't think they were big action movies like when you got a budget like a Sigourney Weaver is the lead of a Ripley Scott film and it's a giant budget It's a crazy movie. That was a huge hit. That movie was a huge hit. He did Gladiator too? Yes, they're doing Gladiator. Rid This god has done he did one of the aliens was only 11 million budget. That's it. Yeah, damn So what but it had big actors right like that one dude Tom shernick whatever the fuck's name In retrospect, maybe I don't think I was big at the time I was like this is five years for us years What's his name Tom what skirt?

Tom skirt. Yeah, he played the captain. That's it's a crazy-ass fucking movie man. That's a good movie Because that's probably what it's gonna be like. It's probably gonna be like parasites just like parasites on earth. I Mean, there's a lot of different instances in the wild of creatures doing that. Like there's that wasp that injects tarantulas with its babies. It kills spiders and injects them with its babies and the babies like feed off the carcass of the spider. Isn't there one where there's like this parasite that grows out of an ant's head? Oh yeah, yeah. It's cordyceps mushrooms.

That's what's that movie, The Last of Us, is based on? Oh, dude, that's so good. I love that show. It shows great. It shows great. Someone, maybe it was a Reddit thread, they were saying, because they tried to port over video game movies for so long

and they could never get it right. And I think the person in this thread was saying, like the kids are finally old enough and becoming directors where they can do the source material justice. Whereas before, it was just these people who were trying to make a Mortal Kombat film, but they didn't grow up with, they don't have a love letter to it, you know? Yes, yes. And now we're getting to see great video game IP flourish.

Like The Last of Us is phenomenal. Yeah. But it also has to be something like HBO where someone's willing to let someone, you know, get really wild. Yeah. You know, like that would be hard. That was HBO, right? Yeah.

It'd be hard to do anywhere else. Like HBO Game of Thrones, Sopranos. Right. They'll go out there with a show. You know? Yeah. When I was coming up, I mean, just the video game movies that existed. There was Street Fighter with Van Damme.

There was Mortal Kombat. So as a kid, you loved watching these movies, but they weren't good. Dragon's Lair, wasn't there a Dragon's Lair movie? I don't know if there, is that a game? Remember that game? I don't remember Dragon's Lair. Dragon's Lair was a game that everybody used to play.

Mario Brothers, Dragon's Lair was a game that everybody used to play in like the 1980s. And it was like a cartoon of each thing that you did you get to see whether or not you were successful. So you would do this little move and if you slipped and fell or if the night got you or a dragon got you, you would die. But you get to see how you would die. So instead of it being like an interactive cartoon, it was like semi interactive.

Like you've made the right choices, it would do the right thing and the character would do the right thing And then you would you would be hitting your joystick getting it to go through these doors And then every time you did it like this little video would play out It was very addictive and it was the first time there was ever anything like this where there was like a game that you could watch like a cartoon movie and depending upon whether you did the right thing or the wrong thing you would see this happen or see you get killed. So that's 1983. Full playthrough. So this is all the things that you would have to do to to be successful and every time you

do it you'd this little video would play out. is it kind of Prince of Persia II that's like you know dragons and knights and shit it was fun but you know compare that to World of Warcraft or compare that to you know what's the big one that Diablo the new Diablo or compare that Call of Duty that's the big one that's just crack that's just straight heroin did you ever see this game this was an arcade game that was like Call of Duty. That's the big one. That's just crack. That's just straight heroin. Did you ever see this game? This was an arcade game that was like Dragon Slayer. The only thing that was really cool about this is this was holograms. So this was like floating above your controllers.

You controlled it a lot like Dragon Slayer. That's how it worked. It was like these weird little videos that would play like an old West character. But it was all holograms like this doesn't do it Injustice, so why how cool it was? Oh, so in real life when you're watching it on the video screen. It's a hologram Yeah, it was very strange whoa So I get the 90s in arcades. That's how I remembered it That's how I remember that guy just busted that blank a little too close to the body for my liking Oh, they didn't you know they didn't edit that out. It's not like they had one And they spliced in the second guy how much he was right in front. He got paid dollars. I

Got paid by for tonight. They used my dancing in a emote really and they paid me they paid me like five grand Nice, which by with it? Just like more fortnight stuff. No, I'm just kidding not I have no idea what I spent with it But it's kind of cool because I post the dance videos sometimes and I guess their programmers found one of my YouTube. It had no views. Maybe they're comedy fans, that's how they found out, but they just hit me up and they go, hey, the game's going to use this excerpt of you dancing as like a skin or like an emote.

It will give you five grand. And I was like, fuck yeah. It's still one of my favorite credits in Hollywood because it's just so weird and bizarre But you're in fortnight. I love fortnight dance. Do you call it? No, but I know it's really popular So it's called the vibe in emote. So if you look at the vibe in emote, that's me dancing. Oh shit. Let me see that Yeah, so they just took an excerpt from like me when I was dancing in my apartment in Koreatown Sometimes if I like really like a song, I'll just set the camera up and dance to it.

Yeah, that's me. There's so many little kids. I'm probably another shit out of this dance. It looks very different than you, bro. That's true. They could have just done that. They didn't have to pay you. No, you needed me to.

You needed me as the source. I think they could have just paid you. No, I just want to put this out there for tonight I have more dances if you need more moves yeah I don't think they needed to pay no they need to go to that end if they were like less group you probably but I think they were in under hot water because it was a moment in time where people were kind of upset that they were lifting some of the dances like remember that backpack kid the floss dance remember that backpack kid, the floss dance?

Remember that- The little kid? Yeah, remember, his name was backpack kid, I guess, as a meme. You talking about the kid on the boat? No, you know this is so dumb. You're gonna see the little kid on the boat? No. But remember this dance?

Mm-hmm, yeah. Some kid in a backpack invented it. Really? And then they, Fortnite used the dance and then there was some sort of, hey, people should be getting paid, the Carlton they put in there there and there was this gray area of like should we pay these people so this kid is saying that that was his move

and they stole it well they probably patched it up and played nice and everything but he's the inventor of that dance really invented himself yeah there's no dispute I don't know if anybody else claimed it or tried to say that it was them. What's that called? Flossing? Yeah. It's a strange move too, so I don't know how he wouldn't have. It's pretty cool.

Yeah. Yeah. I like watching people do silly dances. Some dude did this Michael Jackson thing the other day. Like he high-fived this dude and then immediately started moonwalking. And it was really good. Yeah, it's like very impressive It's so interesting seeing social media get to a place where there are like viable careers in in these spaces that didn't exist before like Charlie D'Amelio or whatever like you could just be a

cute girl dancing on tiktok and that's used to have to be able to sing and They would send you to acting school if you were like a pretty person like they had to give you these other Skillsets and now you can just like dance to certain songs. What do you think? That's like Psychologically because at least if you're a person who sings songs like people really love my songs She probably sings now, you know like but it was a springboard like she got famous for her dancing does she sing probably? I don't know well imagine someone who doesn't sing right imagine being just for being alive. That's an that's an that's available to you now. That's a new thing. It's a new thing. That's a new thing. Yeah. Yeah. It's also interesting

because like when I got into comedy and like fame was a byproduct but I think with younger people sometimes they just want to be famous and they don't really care or know what for. I remember we were shooting a thing. We were shooting this sonic commercial years ago and kids saw a camera. Did so many of them would say, make me famous. It wasn't, I want to do a thing that I love and then become famous. They just wanted to be famous. Fame is a byproduct, not, uh, I don't know if it should be the goal.

Yeah. I don't know if that's the healthiest. No, it's not a good, it's not a good goal. Because you'll never sustain it. You're never going to be happy either. You should be happy if you're doing what you like to do. The idea of just being happy just by fame, that's a trick. That's going to come with a lot of problems of its own and you don't want them.

You're better off just concentrating on what you love to do and just try to get good at it. Yeah. Yeah. Trying to just get famous. You're going to do some stuff that you wish you hadn't done. You're going to say some things you wish you hadn't said. You're going to try to get a lot of attention. It's going to come with a lot of extra baggage.

Yeah. And the fame isn't exactly the fun. There are some parts of it that are fun, but then it also impedes your life like well depends on if that's all you do Right like there's people out there that are you know air quotes influencers all they do is like either You know you're the Kardashians or you're whoever you are you're doing something and you're making videos and your that's your whole thing Is you getting out there? It's not like exceptional content. It's not like they're doing crazy backflips and climbing mountains. They're not doing anything crazy.

They're just being alive. Being alive with a lot of money and a big ass. Ending beautiful. That helps. That helps. But it's also being around famous people and, oh my god, it's the glamorous life. And then people are sucked in.

And if you edit it correctly, we do a nice fast, fast keep my attention span moving you can suck me in for years. Yeah, you forget editing is such a strong Necessity nowadays to yeah, it's almost more important than a performer I mean, it's hyperbole, but a great editor can really elevate some content. Yes, like Schultz's guy's amazing I mean what Schultz is fantastic to begin with but editing when you're trying to grab people's attention in 20 30 seconds with all the zooms and all these psychological tricks to like shaking it having the text come in So now even to promote as a younger comic people coming up You have to be aware of you might have a great bit But you have to have it be a little cuttier than it would be live, right?

You have to use a certain type of captions. You have to maybe zoom in. So you have to give yourself, I don't know, the benefit of the doubt or set yourself up for success via editing. Yeah. Yeah. And there's so many different ways to do it now too. You know, it's like so many people found different avenues to make viral things like remember during the pandemic when Schultz heads to turn your phone Oh, yeah, brilliant. Yeah, he had a totally different style of comedy than he does because he you know on stage He'll let things cook. He'll have long pauses give you the time to think about some ridiculous shit that he just said And he's like, yeah, that's the fun of the live show, right?

But in the the these Instagram videos sideways videos He was very fast-paced. It was very fast-paced. Yeah, and It's punchline after punchline after punchline. He does the Netflix thing, you know Schultz saves America punchline punchline punchline right it's very fast It's really interesting because he adapted. Yeah found like some new pathway That's a real sign of intelligence, right? If you could find like a new way to do it. And don't do Zoom stand-ups on. I mean, of course, yeah, I know shit.

But find a way. There's another pathway. There's got to be something else that a lot of people did. They found ways to do funny clips. And you learn just by seeing what is being propagated what how people's behaviors even when I edit my stand-up I I take the air out if I get a laugh. I'll cut the laugh short just to get to the next part You're just competing against people's thumbs swiping up Sometimes because if you um You you can make your joke a little tighter via editing You know because if you're an unknown and you're just competing about people, you're competing

with people swiping their thumb and watching something else. Yeah. I think you can't really worry about that. Yeah. Well, it's all trial and error too. People still love stand up dude. They're still gonna love it. And if it's below jazz in the listings, so be it.

I love it. It's fine. It doesn't need any more attention than it gets It's fine. Yeah, the people that love it love it and the people that don't that's fine too. It's all fine Don't worry about Who swipes and who doesn't swipe worry about doing what you enjoy do that thing and make it so that something like I like it This is good. Well, I did it the way I wanted to do it. Bam. That's where I'm at now with standup I'm just very happy especially after doing that last special it. Bam. That's where I'm at now with Stand Up For Our Lives. Perfect.

I'm just very happy, especially after doing that last special. I'm at a place where I'm comfortable. I called this new one House Money because things are great. You know, with my parents and financially and career-wise. It's so fine the pressure of your parents. It's like just overwhelming blanket. It's a cliche, you know, the whole immigrant be a doctor or whatever. Yeah, they want you to be successful.

It's hard to get over here. Yeah, but I love them and I know what it was rooted in it was just rooted in their offspring wanting of course Do love if they can yeah, yeah, it's rooted in love a little smothering But but you made it out. Yeah, I think it allowed me to be where I'm at now Yeah, it's rocket fuel and yeah, there's something to be said for that There's something to be said for some uncomfortable shit that makes you work harder, you know because the the worst situation is you're too comfortable And you don't work hard enough and then you're then you don't have a career because you've just been lazy You could have had a career We've know a lot of guys like that, right? We know a lot of guys that just for whatever reason they didn't fucking put it together

Right, they didn't work as hard as everybody else did. They just didn't try as hard. For whatever reason, they just fucking cashed out. It sucks. It's a real bummer. Because you learned at an early age of the value of hard work and discipline. And I think a lot of people just don't know the value of that. And they just would rather just indulge.

Because indulging is fun. We all love to do it. And stand-up comics are, most of us are pretty indulgent silly. So you gotta find a way to harness that like you're the boss of you. You gotta figure out a way to say like hey I'm the boss of me. I will sit my ass down and I will fucking work on this shit. There's a level of entrepreneurship that I think is great about stand up too and I think that's why I worked so hard is because I knew what my life would be like if I just stayed up bowing.

It was a means to an end. It's not like I did engineering just so I can get a legit job and be able to move out to LA and drive up to Hollywood. So it was always a means to an end. But I would always, when I'm in that cubicle, I knew what my life would be like if I just stayed up bowing. Whereas I didn't know what it'd be like. I knew what I wanted it to be and that drove me Whereas okay, I know this movie. I don't know this movie and I love this right so that was the fire for me Right, just not wanting to live for tomorrow. Yeah

Yeah, and when you pursue something and When you pursue something like that, it's exciting. It's fulfilling. It's very exciting, but it's also very daunting, right? Especially in the beginning. God, I remember the early days where I wasn't sure what was going to make it. It was just when I was going to be able to make a living. It's so weird.

It's such a weird feeling. You know, you're so... Everything's like open-ended. You never know. You know, you don't know the one The next set you have where you bomb. Oh my god, am I gonna have to quit? Do I suck forever? Yeah, am I gonna figure this out? Those are the best moments when I was young when I was first starting out was after bombs after bombs

I always learn the most you got so much sharper. It sucks, but you either get better or you quit Yeah, you get better or you quit I always think about that whenever people get in a stand-up if they bomb and they don't love stand-up They're out pretty fast. Yeah, cuz that's not a fun feeling I was you have a screw loose and you love it and I'm that way Whereas I was more emboldened after a bomb. I was like, okay, why didn't it work? How do I tweak this? Right? I took it as is the audience being an editor. Yeah. Yeah. It was fuel. Mm-hmm It's undeniable do the laugh or they don't and you know people used to say like I think Bill Cosby says there's no bad crowd

Just bad comedians when he's out of his fucking mind clearly And I used to say about that. Well, he never had to work the places that I had to work I had to work bars in the middle of Massachusetts and Rhode Island and fucking Connecticut. Like shut your mouth, there's bad, bad audiences. But through those bad audiences, you learn crowd control, mitigation, shit. You learn how to work the crowd. You learn how to capture people's attention

so you don't let them drift off. But you don't like, they're not all all good crowds You learn how to corral energy Also, if someone is being disruptive do they do they have a good heart? Do they mean well? It's a little too tipsy and kind of harness that back into your set and be playful Because some comics don't realize and they just go nuclear on the person Yeah, and then it's like beating up a toddler because then you've lost the goodwill of the crowd Everyone's like yo, you just fuck this chick up

And then you try to do a joke and they go no you're a monster dude Yeah, it's basically like having road rage like you're in the car. Shut the fuck up You know like what the fuck you doing bro fuck you don't fuck you You're you're so amped up because you're already in a car You're driving fast when you're on stage your brain is amped up when When someone chimes in, you're like, what? Shut up, you stupid bitch. Right. Even though he's like technically- And then everybody's like, oh my God, what have you done? There's a nicer way to say keep it down. And you may have lost the crowd by saying, you stupid bitch.

Right. But then there's some people that you just have to address. You have to get rid of them. They're going to ruin your show, no matter what you do. And they do it on purpose. Sometimes they're so malicious and mean that you have car blanched to fucking lay into this guy. And it's kind of fun, because sometimes these people are so singular minded and they think the world revolves around them. When the crowd starts booing the person, and you see that switch in their eyes,

like, oh, they've been perceiving the whole situation wrong. Like, oh, why is this entire room booing you if you're the good guy? Right. You know what I mean? Everyone's like, get the fuck shut, fuck fuck you they got babysitters and shit, you know They hate this guy. Yeah, so I kind of like teaching a lesson sometimes when that happens I'm like I do a million sets. This is fun for me to teach a grown man a lesson Like you hear all these boo. Why are they hissing at you dude?

Yeah, it's fun to educate sometimes well some people just they're drunk And they don't even realize what the consequences of what they're doing are There's just being so selfish. They don't care about the other 300 people in the room Yeah, just yell out but most of the time they just they mean well, but they've had a few drinks And you can you can rain them in booze is the best and the worst thing for comedy. Yeah them in. Booze is the best and the worst thing for comedy. Yeah, for real. Ideally, you want everyone who's great on it. Yeah, you want it. People can handle their liquor, but every now and then you'll get, that's not true. How is it at mothership? Because you run a tight ship, no pun intended, because you have to put the phone in the bag. Yeah. Well, you have to kick

people out that are disrupting the show. Does it happen still? Yeah, it's happened. It happens. It's going to happen. No matter if you have live comedy, you're going to have people out that are disrupting the show. Does it happen still? Yeah, it's happened. It happens. It's going to happen. No matter if you have live comedy, you're going to have people that are just hammered. We had a lady go into a K-hole. She was on Academy. She went into a K-hole in the middle of the crowd. How was the K-hole audience member?

What's that like? They didn't know if she took an opiates or what she took. Were you like, this joke's really good. She's fucking orgasmic. I wasn't there. And it was the night that I was off, I think. Or I wasn't on the show. I don't remember what it was.

But either way, the lady went into a cajole. And they had the Narcan ready. They thought she had overdosed. But no, she was just fucking gone. Because a lot of people take this nasal spray of ketamine. And they take it as a theropower. Quasi-dimensional traveling in the middle of a comedy show. I don't understand when people go that hard and then pay tickets to an expensive show. Like some people will go to a concert and just be fucked up beyond belief.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's our spirit. You're not even mentally here to enjoy Beyonce or whatever it is. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think it's the experience sometimes people say I'm gonna take an edible and go see a show. You're like, how do you finesse that though? Like that lady on K I don't know if she was really processing the jokes, right? Oh, she definitely wasn't she was she was gone I mean she collapsed she was gone. Yeah, I've never done ketamine like that I don't know what happens, but the the way they do it if you do a lot of it you go into what they call a k-hole Whatever that means, but I know that people have like hallucinations and they have like these weird

Experiences where they're interacting with interdimensional beings. They're in empty apartment buildings and space and shit weird stuff Weird stuff. Yeah. Yeah, seems like you don't need a show for that It seems like a heavy drug. It seems like one you could Be out in the town on that stuff. Yeah, but I guess people micro dose it I think guess that's the thing this girl The the anti-depression effects for micro dosing They used to have a ketamine drip thing that Neil did. Oh, yeah. Brennan did it. Yeah. He said he thought that he would go to a doctor's office and it would be like mild. He's like, no, I'm tripping balls at the doctor's office on an IV drip, a ketamine,

just like, interacting with space beings, shit. Yeah. I remember when he was going through a phase of like trying different things for depression. He was doing it. He showed me a video of the magnet thing and then K. I guess and then ayahuasca Yeah, he was telling me about it. He was doing it a lot. I didn't know that you could do ayahuasca that frequently You probably not He's a pioneer. He's a wild dude, but it did help him. It definitely did help. Yeah, I've noticed I've noticed a difference Yeah, I talked about it. It's like forget what he believes in God now stuff. Just like yeah It might be real It might be something to it. I'm so scared of I was good. He actually asked me because the I

Like control right you had a bad mushroom trip. Yeah, cuz you like control well Yeah, exactly and you can't control when you're on drugs, you know not when those not mushrooms That's for damn sure. If you try it'll take you down a very bad road Yes, you had to learn how to let go. I know our shit fear was because Ari was living in LA at the time Paul is sure does I was go Let's go He's like everyone said like what you do if he starts wearing wooden beads I'm a strangle him since you do too much ayahuasca you start wearing wooden beads I'm always like bro no you're tapped

in dude you okay bro do you have an eagle feather in your hair cuz I'll kill you have you done ayahuasca no so then So then what's your, why haven't you? I haven't had the opportunity. I haven't had people that I want to do it with. It's illegal in America, so either you do it illegally here or you go somewhere else. Yeah, it shouldn't be. But also, maybe you should know who the fuck is making it and how they're doing it. I've done DMT though which is the

The what that's the active ingredient. I saw a guy take a hit from a DMT pen at a party And it was like unsettling to watch him Because you just see him blast off in a chair. I think this is too personal It's almost like seeing a guy jerk off or something very weird do that for everybody He just blasts off for like five minutes and you just go like, okay. Jesus. It's kind of weird. Yeah, it's a potent drug.

Like it's a hit off of a vape pen. I think it's a portal into another dimension. I really do. I know that sounds completely insane, especially from the host of Fear Factor. But I think it's in your mind. I mean, they know that your brain produces those chemicals. Why would your brain produce chemicals that let you interact with beings in other dimensions that are giving you wisdom?

Why why would that be something your brain makes? I don't know what the speculation is that your brain makes it when it thinks it's gonna die and That you when you interact with that dimension. That's your spirit. That's your soul That's what the essence of you not your your physical being and your life experiences and your memories, that's the essence of you goes to this place. And that's the only way to access it? Maybe. Some people say you can access it through Kundalini Yoga.

I've never done it that way, but I have done what they call holotropic breathing. I've had psychedelic experiences just from breathing. You can get to like an acid state just breathing. It's really wild, but the the physical process of dying like when people have near-death experiences, it sounds a lot like a psychedelic trip Like a lot of these people that go to the light and then come back Like they they die for like 30 seconds and then they come back and they have this crazy experience of

interacting with beings and interacting with angels and interacting with devils and weird shit man and a lot of them have these weird stories and They've tried to like map out what the fuck is happening with the human mind while that's going on but it's just a lot of speculation in terms of like They didn't even know like what part of the brain is producing this chemical They knew it's produced by the liver and I think it's produced by the lungs But like they think it's produced by the whole brain now Isn't that what Strossman said the last time he was here?

But your brain makes the most potent psychedelic drug known to man That's one of the reasons why that stuff is such a short Like the time that you're if you take DMT your body brings it back to baseline very quickly I got you're blasted for 10, 15 minutes, and then you're back. And your stone cold's over. And you were just in another dimension. That's crazy.

It's but, yeah. And you're back to the party when nothing happened. Here's what's even more crazy. You have a really hard time remembering it. You had one of the most insane experiences you could ever possibly imagine. You remember little snippets of it, just like a dream. Yeah, I'm like that.

I'm bad at remembering dreams. Yeah, I should get a journal or something. Yeah. Everybody is. And that is like a function of that same thing that when you take the actual chemical, when you take the actual DMT molecule, it's the same thing that happens. You have a very difficult time holding on to those memories. Because memories are weird anyway. You know, we all have false memories well distorted memories You have an approximation of things. I'm jealous some people have iron trap memories I'll talk to a buddy and he he'll bring up an event from six years ago and like I don't work that way

I'm so jealous some people just have super memories like that. They definitely do with some things You know, I'd always wonder like do they have less experiences in their life? So is that, like, more memorable because they don't have anything that stands out from the norm? I think it's just the way their brain processes information and events, like, it has a better filing system or something. Well, some people definitely have photographic memories. Like, they can remember everything absolutely perfectly. You know that lady from Taxi? Yeah. I was just thinking about that 60 minutes piece that she was on there talking about like she's one of these people with super memory. Super memory. Yeah. Like very different than normal good memory. Even people who can remember

lines very easily, I'm so jealous of. Oh yeah. You know, because what a leg up you have over the competition if you could just read a thing, be like, got it. Yeah. And you could do it. I know, that's crazy. That's probably her. Mary Lou Henner. Yeah. Highly superior autobiographical memory, a rare condition identified in only 100 people worldwide.

This trait drives her to advocate for more funding for brain research. That's insane. That's incredible. It's a super human gift. But when you hear her like recite things that she can remember,'s bananas. Yeah, it's bananas But that would be an amazing advantage to be an actor for sure you read the script once and like I got it I know exactly what you're gonna say and then I know exactly what I'm gonna say How are you on news radio with lines? I was okay. Yeah, you know that was okay

It's it's a complicated little thing to remember. What's process is different to how to retain that, just going over it. For me, it was always just repetition. You have to do a lot of repetition over and over and over again, say it out loud, write it down. I was here, get on your feet, so like pace and say the word. So it's in your body. Sure. I heard Riz Ahmed, you know him as an actor?

No. He's great. He's in sound of music or sound of metal. The two very different movies, by the way. He was in the sound of music or the sound of metal. The two very different movies, by the way. I know. He wasn't the sound of music or the sound of metal. One of those. I'm pretty sure of the sound of metal. But he's a super talented actor.

And I heard he runs while he does his lines and just get himself out of his. Was he an Oppenheimer? Was he? I feel like everyone was an Oppenheimer. Oppenheimer's a damn good movie. How crazy is it that they went after him for communism? What was that? How crazy crazy is they went after him for communism? Oh, that's what they got him on Well, that's what they're going after him for that was the thing good they get you yeah

But I mean the guy who invented the fucking bomb They belong yeah What if the movie ended after they dropped the bomb and everyone cheers and then you see the credit What if the movie ended after they dropped the bomb and everyone cheers and then you see the credit? Yeah, but it's funny because yeah, but you saw they had to do that back end where he felt bad and shit He's like what have I done? One of my favorite all-time videos. Let's leave it on this is The Oppenheimer video of him describing what he said when the first bomb went off when he quoted the Bhagavad Gita Let's watch we'll leave with this for himaheem, you're the fucking man. Appreciate you, love you to death, I miss you.

Thank you so much. Your new comedy special? Yeah, it's called House Money. It's on my YouTube channel, so if you go to youtube.com slash Faheem Anwar. And Faheem Anwar, it's for free. And Faheem Anwar on Instagram and all the other social media platforms

and always the comedy store. Yeah. Oppenheimer. Shit. and all the other social media platforms and always the comedy store. Oppenheimer. Shit. The world would not be the same. Few people laughed. Few people cried. Most people were silent. People cried. Most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad Gita.

Vishnu is trying to persuade the prince that he should do his duty and to impress him takes on his multi-armed form and says Now I am become death the destroyer of worlds I suppose we all thought that one way or another I suppose we all thought that one way or another. That's a quote. That's a fucking bar. Somebody put some hip-hop beat underneath that.

Yeah, it probably is already in a song. That should be in a Wu-Tang song. Alright, goodbye everybody. Thank you. Bye. you