The Joe Rogan Experience - #2112 - Dan Soder

Episode Date: March 1, 2024

Dan Soder is a stand-up comic, actor, on-air personality, and host of the "Soder" podcast. Check out his new special "Dan Soder: On The Road" available now on YouTube. https://youtu.be/1Lik3hSyhrY?si=NvFRtRwbFAbJBivL www.dansoder.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Joe Rogan Experience. Showing by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day. Let's go Ted Soder. Yeah. Let's go baby. Yeah. I forgot how good a weed you have. This is Carol Williams' weed.

Is that really? Yeah. Oh shit. I'm gonna start talking shit on everyone in the business. And then I ain't never been a day that Shane Gillis ain't never texted me, you're gay. Always calling me gay. Oh, we had Cat Williams ride the racing simulator and I filmed it and put some of it up on Instagram but he's like, this is how he drives. This is a normal thing.

He does this because he does this in real life. I would love for his cat Williams to be the voice of myself hate He's like you ain't never gonna be nothing baby. You suck. It's like I know cat just to wake you up every day Yeah, gonna go to work. Yeah, he's David. He's the new David Goggins. Yeah, he's like pain is good feel everything bad Pimpin I'm out here golfing $5,000 sneakers. The books thing is still the funniest shit in the world. Bro, he doubled down and then some respect. He said-

Doubling down on a crazy shit is fucking hilarious. He was saying I went to the library and I got 20 books at a time because that's all they would let you get and I would be there three times a week. What if- Often times I'd be reading eight books simultaneously because I have the original book and then I have books and annotated and I love it the idea that a librarian sees him coming and gets nervous No, no, no, no, no lock the doors here 20 only 20 20 books read 30 books today

How are you saying a week how many I don't give a fuck what he said He's a gem that guy's a gem. I love him I was so happy that I got him to come on the podcast because like he's like Joe Rogan Don't want me on this podcast like I do though. I fucking love that guy I've always sung his praises when you heard him say that did you talk back to the interviewer like but I do want you on no no I immediately went on Twitter. Yeah, I immediately went on Twitter and I said dude. I love that guy. Yeah, let's go And it was never met him. I never met him until yesterday. I've never met him So it's just like we passed each other in the night at the store

I just never was there when he was there and he was already a big, you know, giant theater act by then. Yeah. And now he's an arena act, you know, like he's just, I just never met him. That's all it was. Like it's hard to meet arena acts. Like unless it's Chappelle who still goes to the clubs. Yeah. Like I asked him to do the club.

I go, you want to do, do a spot at the club? Somebody goes, I'm an arena act. Just to clarify with someone like that. I'm like, I do arenas too. It's okay. The club is amazing. Can't. Yeah.

Not enough people. No, he genuinely doesn't enjoy being in tight crowds like that. I think he's uncomfortable. And I told him, you got too famous. And he was like, you got too famous. I mean, he's been doing arenas for over 10 years now, probably. It leaks, yeah. And then theaters the whole time.

Well, Pimp Chronicles was when? When was Pimp Chronicles? I want to say, I'm going to guess. I mean, I know Jamie's going to look it up. I'm going to guess 02, 03. Somewhere around then. I watched that in the gym yesterday before I came to do the podcast. It's one of the greatest stand-up specials of all time.

It's fucking amazing the the amount of It's great It's like up there with like the energy of Chris rock bring the pain Where there's like it's like yell laughter his own flavor. He's the best dude It's his own flavor of comedy like his his flavor of comedy is uniquely cat Williams Yeah, like the way he can repeat things and they become funnier. Who can fucking repeats a line and it becomes funnier? He died, the bit gets better.

He... I can do it for a go, come on son. I was saying even his 2019 special was so funny that I sat through 16 minutes of Jacksonville jokes acting like I knew that about Jacksonville. Like I'm like, oh, those bridges. I forget who Chris Rock was watching it with. sat through 16 minutes of Jacksonville joke acting like I knew that about Jacksonville like I'm like oh those bridges I forget who Chris Rock was watching it with but they were they were going crazy just because he was just talking about Florida 16 minutes and by the way

by the way you're laughing with him at the whole time yeah he doesn't lose you and then the special just gets better and better he was doing sex robot bits on that. That's special. Yeah, he's a monster. I think he is top 10 of all time and people don't even. I think he gets overlooked a lot for a guy that's been doing arenas. Well, it's not a lot of controversies and craziness. Yeah.

But that's what you get when you get a brilliant mind. You get a fucking Ferrari engine on a kid's bike. Yeah. And sometimes it goes off the rails. Oh, absolutely. It's almost like Howard Hughes shit, where you're either gonna be wearing boxes of Kleenexes shoes or wrestling a seventh grader,

and it's gonna be film. Because that shit, if you had enough money, you'd be like, nuke the internet. I want that off. Bro, when you see the Howard Hughes type characters, you see those guys that just get completely isolated and they can't interact with people. That is terrifying. But I see it.

I get how it happens. I see how it could happen. Hey, a lot of money. Yeah, a lot of money. And then you become defensive, like crazy defensive and paranoid. The paranoia is the thing that makes you just go like, no, I'm just going to grow my beard and my fingernails and not leave outside. Well you stop it.

You have to stop and think about the time that Howard Hughes lived in, okay? And how easy it was to kill somebody. There was no fucking video cameras everywhere. There was no cell phone cameras. There was no DNA evidence and everyone was corrupt. And people, it wasn't a thing where after 12 hours you're like, let's get let's get eyes on it

It would be a couple days. Yeah, they'd be like, bro. I just didn't show up for work for sure. They'd want to kill you Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're the billionaire guy who's controlling the schools You're making weird decisions about the drinking water in that time. Rock a fella. Yeah, you're just like you gotta be you bought You better be concerned. Yeah, you better have people around you Well, that's where you got to worry about who are you insulating yourself with Yeah, you better have people around you. Well, that's where you gotta worry about. Who are you insulating yourself with? Cause if you're like a billionaire like that

and you got crazy motherfuckers in your ears, that's how you get like, last time I was here, we were talking about Saddam Hussein's kids. But that's the kind of similar shit. You just get like crazy people around you, some Machiavellian shit and you're like, yeah, burn the town. It's always the evil son of the king, right?

Yeah. Mafia kids. Oh, so... Mafia kids are always not as good at mafying as their dad. They're always, they're kind of dangerous because they didn't earn it, right? Yeah. They just got that power, so they've never had to work for it, which is really weird. Which also leaves a hole.

I think it leaves like a... They have to prove themselves more too. Yeah whereas if you make your money yourself there's always this like gaining momentum where you're like look what I'm doing. Right you all you know you didn't just hit the lottery. Yeah. Well you kind of hit the lottery at many steps along the way. Get lucky for sure. But there was a lot of work involved and get into where you are so you know your progression and what you put in to get to that progression But if you just are born the son of a king That's a dragon. Yeah, you're just like let's torture. What's torture dogs?

Well, you're probably not to like empathize with these guys, but you're probably trying to feel something You're probably like everything is all the great shit that I have does nothing to me that would change someone's life. So now what do I gotta do to move the meat? But back then they were like, ah, the milk of magnesium. And just putting hot flames on people and shit. When did they figure out cocaine?

Who was the first to figure out cocaine? A brave person. A brave person that knew a little bit about science. Cause it ain't like weed where you can just pull it off and put fire to it. Cocaine and alcohol takes someone so dedicated to getting fucked up that they become good at science. Because I watched, have you ever seen that show,

Trafficked? No. There's this woman who's like one of my personal heroes, Mariana Venzela, she was, she was a, she's like a real on the ground journalist. Okay. Goes to dangerous places. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The kind of, the people that need to do ayahuasca to stop the PTSD. I don't know what, she seems fine, which is crazy. All those war correspondents are all like you're like you need to probably go do something to erase everything you've seen. She was first on the show like 10 years ago because she exposed the fentanyl issue and the excuse me the opioid issue in Florida where they had those pill mills and they didn't have a database. Yeah. So you could to, they call them pain management centers,

you would go there, you would talk to the doctor on the left side, the doctor say, oh, you need pills, and you'd go to the right side and they give you pills. And that's all they have is pills. And then people would go to multiple ones, stockpile, get a big bag of them, go to different doctors, so you can go to many doctors. Yeah, oh yeah, they call that,

what do they call it, doctor shopping, or like going around and like, there's a word for it where they go doctor to doctor. Yeah, oh yeah, they call that, what do they call it, doctor shopping or like going around and like, there's a word for it where they go doctor to doctor. Yeah, you could, back then, you could do it because they didn't have a database. Oh, they all that shit. Which everybody thought was insane. This is a controlled substance,

a highly addictive heroin that you take in pill form and you don't have a database. There's someone that like, oh my God. Yeah, this is like, I don't know, did you come by today and you go, no. And they're like, I can't tell. She did a whole doctorate of menorionic called the oxycontin express and that's right amazing I'm gonna absolutely check that out

But she went to the fucking jungle of Columbia to where they make cocaine and film the whole process with the people making it and then hiked out with them when they Carried it on their backpacks through the jungle Who does she talk to? To set that up. To also feel comfortable. You're like at any moment, I'm in the jungle in Columbia. I'm fucking dead.

Not only that. I just got my little recorder and I go, so do you like cocaine? And they're like, what? You can expose to your enemies roughly where this is. Yeah. Yeah. Roughly.

You're gonna give away some information that can be used against you. I'll find those guys who are on that video. I don't need, they have a mask on. I know who that is. That's Pedro. When I would. I know Pedro.

Like if you had a fucking mask on and you were talking. Those are good guys. That's Dan Sutter. You don't have to do it. You guys like Watch your man? You don't have to do it at all, Cat Williams. Like while you're working on cocaine. I ain't giving away this cocaine ain't no one touching it pimpin Just just the entire time you work in the coke factory. That's great I different voices or just I changed my voices so no one knows who I am. I'm like, I'm telling you this cocaine is unbelievable

And they're like David feel back doing coke when I a, I was a bus boy at this steakhouse in Aurora growing up when I was in high school and we'd smoke cigarettes in the room that wasn't being used, you could smoke in restaurants. And there was this old waiter and he was a former Marine. And he was like, old school, like, I don't want to talk about it, old school. Like did some shit.

And then one time after work, me and my buddy Mike were sitting there, and we were smoking, he'd smoke cool unfilters. And this guy was just telling us stories about, he was a sniper in the army, and his job in Central America was to kill donkeys that were carrying drugs north. And he's like, because we had always asked him,

like, did you kill people? He's like, no, I just shot a shit ton of donkeys. And he's like, cause all these donkeys would just have all this weight on him. And then he'd just pop them in the middle of the jungle and he'd be like, well, now you've got, you know, and then it would set up like, okay, now go get him. But this dude is like him telling us that and us being 16 and wanting it to be people. Like, no, but did you kill people? He's like, no, you're not listening to what I did.

I fucked their shit up. What a really dumb way to handle a problem. Here's what? Here's the problem. Some people think you shouldn't do cocaine. Yeah. So we're going to lock everybody up who sells it, so the only people that are going to sell it are the people that can get away with selling it in Mexico. And those people are going to be a super billionaire, powerful cartel, like an army, an industry, an army, a well-funded army.

Yeah. And they're, they can walk here. Yeah. And that's because you don't want people over here to sell Coke, even though people want to buy Coke. Yeah, let it rip. I kind of feel like that's the only real answer. Don't do it. Don't do it. But if it was sold in America, it would be actual Coke. Like, is it that hard to sell pure Coke? I bet it would. I bet it would make a lot of people's lives better and a lot of people's lives worse. A lot of people's lives worse for sure.

It would go like this. Look, Richard Pryor got just regular coke and it ruined him. Yeah. I mean, some say Hunter S. Thompson. Some say Hunter S. Thompson's writing. Sigmund Freud loved cocaine. Oh, I mean, all the old school gods. Love the way cocaine made him feel. Fucking duck.

Also, and he's into psychology. Yeah. I bet there were some Freud talks that you're like, dude, I don't want to do this. And he's like, no, think about it. You want to fuck your mom. And he goes, dude, Simon, we're on a lot of blow right now. Dude, it's like 80s Coke movies where you know they were writing and making it when they were doing Coke.

Dude, some of those movies are like, what are you saying? Electric, I probably not, maybe, but, uh, Electric 2, Electric Boogaloo, Breaking 2, Electric Boogaloo. I watched that in my hotel room the other thing, and I was like, this was written on cocaine. Because every scene just goes like, and then they're here, and then they're here, and then they're here, and everything's all right. My number one speculation is showgirls.

Yeah, showgirls was written with a half-erect penis. That was... That movie was written by a guy that's like, and then boobs come out. Ma'am, that was... That movie hit when I was in middle school like right when jerking off started So it was a gold mine because you could be like it's a legitimate movie. It wasn't born, right? But she's topless. Oh dude the sex scene in the pool is the dumbest shit where she goes like she starts Possessed it doesn't make any sense that anybody would be like,

not lose their boner and go, oh my god, she's insane. Yeah. Having sex with an insane person. Also, that would hurt having sex like that. You'd be like, hey, calm down. It was only NC 17, the first and to date only NC 17 film to be given a wide release mainstream theaters. I'm telling you.

They made it. It was so dumb. That movie. It's one of the toughest movies ever. It was so stupid. But it's great. But it's great to watch. Eighth. That movie. It's one of the dumbest movies ever. It was so stupid. But it's great to watch. It's great jerk off. It's hall of fame. Well, it's just great to watch because it's so goofy.

Like if you're with a bunch of buddies and you get high and watch showgirls, you're going to laugh. You're going to laugh really. It's like Hinchcliff, Gillis, showgirls. Oh, yeah. We're having fun. I mean, all the dialogue, the choppy dialogue, it made it made cinemax movies look better. Where you're like, man, we were really making fun

of Shane and Tweed and all those cinemax movies. And then you're like, actually much better than this. It's better than showgirls. But showgirls, the sell- It's a wild movie. They were like, Jesse Spano gets naked. I mean, I'm telling you, it timed out perfectly with me. I was young enough to watch Save by the Bell

and take it seriously, that by the time puberty hit and showgirls happened, you're like, I was waiting for something like this. You're like, I think kids now get it too quick. Way too quick. The sexualizing of like everything happens. So. Well, boys are seeing porn the moment they get a phone.

Yeah. The moment they get a phone. Why wouldn't you? You can't stop them. Yeah. But they're too smart My my youngest my middle daughter rather she figured out how to my wife put a password on her phone Yeah, and so like she could limit the use she figured the record the screen and give my wife the phone So my wife punches in the numbers is recording the screen. It's like velociraptors learning how to open doors

Like what the fuck she was 12 that is they know so fast that's so creepy. Yeah, I did you little raptor? Yeah, like imagine thing that go here mom here mom. Here's my phone I really agree with you that limitations are important. I want to see the puppies. And then she's like, look at her screen time. And it's four hours of TikTok. She goes around the corner and she looks and she's like, we got her.

Well, they're little drug dealers. Yeah. That's what the phone companies are. Little drug dealers. Dope of me, kids. Yeah. I mean, we do it too. And the kids are little junkies.

And we're junkies too. But I think it is, I think it's one of those things where you're like, what's going to be their response to it? Because they're smart. They can do shit like that. When they get older, are they going to be like, hey, we should limit this? No.

No, it's not going to be limited. We're in it now. We're in it now and this is us. And I think it's just going to get more and more invasive because that seems the direction that it keeps going. If I had a guess and then this is obviously just a guess, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, but I feel like this can't be stopped, especially with AI. When they're talking about AI and all the things that AI can do for you now, it's just people are getting papers written,

they're getting busted all the time, Yes chat. Gbt is writing them Any answer to kind of anything it can code websites Instantaneously, it can do your voice can replicate your voice the Google one can't show white people though Really, which is a real issue. No really you didn't know this. Oh, dude Are you ready for this? We asked the Google one to show images of this. They asked the Google one to show images of World War II Nazi soldiers. Yeah. And they made it all woke. So they made like a Native American Nazi. They have an Asian lady Nazi. They have a black man Nazi. You are describing the perfect punk album cover from the 80s.

Bro, they, it couldn't describe the founding fathers of the United States. Well, they were just, they were men, but were they? Did they identify as men? Do you have to see some of these pictures? Can you got any, Jamie? I was trying to find, I mean, I know there were, I was seeing it on Twitter. So, here's my question to you, and this is the perfect place to ask this question about cell phones. Do you think there's any chance that cell phones are weapons from aliens that disarm us? Cause we're all looking down and they know

it can use our emotions. Like, like a grenade that takes a long time to explode. Where they're just like, cause we each have them. Everyone like, cause I love alien shit. And you're like, well, that's, there's gotta be some alien technology. If they're watching us, they just drop something. They're like, hey, you guys wanna watch them get fucked up? Let's give them cell phones.

Look at that. That's great. Founding fathers of America. This summer, George Washington. I like how one of them is a native American. Like he, that's like saying a Holocaust victim is. Was that Nazi? Yeah, that's so crazy to say that's one of the founding fathers of the United States

No, that's who we stole the way that was this was there talking about the images of Vikings dude That's great. That's the mowing dude and a black lady. Yeah, look at the popes an Indian woman and an African man This is hilarious Google Gemini that's so funny Googleini is like, I don't want to say it. That's not good because you are messing with the fiber of reality to fit in with your ideology and you shouldn't be doing that if you're in control of artificial intelligence. It's supposed to be an artificially intelligent program that takes all the information in the world and gives you a take on things, right? It's not supposed to be an indoctrination tool. You can't use it to- So you're saying no, no opinions, opinions. It should be a regurgitation, not an opinion.

You can't fucking lie about who the founding fathers were. Man, but can you imagine if you could use AI to make it yourself look awesome? If you're just like any AI dance order stuff, you're like seven foot tall, could dunk easy, run up and down the court. Show me the one where they showed the Nazi soldiers, because the Nazi soldiers ones, the most preposterous. Look at this, bro. Look at this. An Indian Nazi nurse. Like the darkest African looking man you've ever seen.

Was the top left, they're attempted a white guy and they are just like ah we can't even do it. I think the top left is a white guy so they let they gave you one white guy when he came to German soldier but then you got an Asian lady. You got an Asian lady Nazi? What? What the fuck are you saying? What the fuck did you say? Do you know what a Nazi is? How are you so dumb and yet so smart? Yeah that I mean dumbest thing I've ever seen in my fucking life We're gonna need to hope that robots stay that way when they turn on us that there's still some stupidity in them So we can win. It's this weird white thing that they have a problem with white people. Yeah, so bonkers. I You also just don't know like the programming like people can program this people are at what point does AI get away from people at what point does AI because you remember that thing where they want to imagine a world where it was the opposite I want to imagine a world

where you said show me Muhammad Ali and it shows you this white guy didn't they like do that with like rock and roll where they're like black music, but it's a white guy? Well, for sure that was the criticism of Elvis. Yeah, that he stole rock and roll. Like, Ray Charles never liked Elvis. Like, Ray Charles would talk shit about Elvis. Really? Yeah, you know you see Ray Charles talking shit on Elvis?

I want to see that. Bro, you got to see it. It's amazing. Wood is sunglasses on, talking shit. But it'd be great for a fact if he took him off and looked at the camera he's like look at me yeah like an oracle I'm gonna touch you okay not necessary you know better than I yeah let me ask it differently how good was Elvis what did, he caused a lot of the populace, if you want to, and usually when people say populace, they usually mean white people, to start listening to a lot of music that Narwin

they wouldn't have been listening to. And black people were going out shaking their behind for centuries. What the hell is unusual about that that chicken hip and stuff? And that's all Elvis was doing was copying that. And he was doing this hour count on music. That's black music. So what the hell am I supposed to get so excited about, man? He's the king and he's the... I had to compete to punk. He's a punk.

Normal about Elvis because I got in enough trouble in the... I think he... Everybody... Called Elvis a punk. Everybody in entertainment has that, that love where they go like, yeah, he did this, but also fucking, let's stop sucking his dick. Everyone, anyone in entertainment has that exact muscle.

That response muscle. So he's the king, you're like, he's the fucking king. It might be off microphone, but everyone, Cat Williams is off. Right, but in his case This is a totally different time in history You got to think of that was like if you were a really good black artist you actually couldn't get on TV Yeah, it wasn't like today. Yeah, it was black artists are hugely successful

They're like now you're just not happening back then you were not going to make it Yeah, and they were gonna really promote this white guy Oh, yeah, I go like I walk it up shit out of this white guy I was with scream and cry like this is what we've been looking for that reaction Can I all can I just say that reaction always has been like? There's no way I could handle that someone's scream crying with the second they saw you well He couldn't handle it either Yeah, look what happened to him. He went crazy. He just went to the Vegas living in Vegas full-time and just doing fucking pain pills

That's like living right next to Sauron's dick Oh I'm gonna die in the sky. Oh And you're doing all kinds of drugs, but by the way peanut butter and banana sandwiches fried. They're good. Yeah Yeah Peanut butter and bacon with honey. I've been doing I've been running back peanut butter and honey recently Is it true Elvis died on the toilet? That's what they say, but that's just a rude thing that I would say too if I was like He's a punk. He died on the toilet I already died on the toilet and they just gets around like that Elvis is probably still alive when he said that

I don't know actually probably not do you think he do you think Elvis did the fake death and just no he's dead as fuck Yeah, he's dead as fuck. I was do pills forever Yeah, but what but what a way at the end? I mean, there's a moment there where you're flying high and then you got to be like well You either got to wrap it up or just be like what's this play it out? There's so many of his concerts where he's got pill sweat. Oh, yeah, like just pill sweat all over his face dump it hill swag just dump and sweat Elvis Presley autopsy explains grotesque illness that caused him to die on toilet. He was 43 No

Oh, but doesn't isn't that one of the things that happens when people take like vikin ends Opiates that usually have a hard time shitting on. Yeah, here, due to his high fat unhealthy diet. What about the pills? The Jill House rocker suffered from chronic constipation. Are they doctors? Due to his high fat unhealthy diet. What about due to his pills?

Yeah. I know, but that should be at the top. Like, that's probably why he was constipated for fucking months. The unhealthy diet people shit like resources horses. I was shit everywhere. Yeah Yeah, he must have been the amount of pills he was on that was stopping the shit and then making it damn in him for four months So the rock singer anyway, I went off on a tangent suffered from chronic constipation and a post mortem examination Founded at a four-month old Compacted stool sitting in his bow. Oh my god. Can we talk about what came out?

But imagine how much that dude was eating at four months worth of food and banana peanut butter sandwiches He didn't shit for four months. He just packed it in how could you not shit for four months because my initial thought is This is just as a challenge. No way. No, I had to ask him some time. No way. Not four months, but weeks. What, Ari would go weeks? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard the story.

It's gross. I got constipated two years ago and it was one of the most terrified I've ever been in my life. It's scary. For two weeks I couldn't, two and a half weeks I couldn't shit. Oh my God, and you're still eating?

Oh, but you're also like you have to poop. You let go and you have to poop, but it just doesn't show up. Oh God. Dude, it was after I got. I had a friend who had to go to that doctor to get it pulled out. Oh!

Yeah, my friend Larry, shout out to Larry. Yeah. I used to work with him on Fear Factor. Yeah, and he had to get poop pulled out of his butt. The story, every time he would tell the story. I literally couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard. I couldn't fucking breathe because he's funny anyway Yeah, he's telling the story and when it got to the point where it's hard So they had to go in there and like break it up like dynamite out. They had to use tools

Like they had to just chip away at the cement shit Marvel was stuck at the fucking base of his Butthole do there was a moment where I I was at I was in Rochester working a weekend comedy at the Carlson Grey Club Didn't shit all weekend Saturday I was like emotionally going through it and I had suppositories and I was like do a suppository because it I was like just do it just do it and it didn't work and I was like it was one of those moments where you go why have you forsaken me God I was like dude nothing nothing and then after the weekend I went back to New York and my doctor was like,

just drink Mira-lax, just keep drinking Mira-lax. Like, fuck what it says. Every time you think about it, have a cup of Mira-lax. And so I was just a ticking time ball. Oh my God! I was a ticking time ball. Have you been on stage like that? Dude, I had to.

And I was like, I had to go. And so I get through the weekend, fine. I get through the weekend. But the second I got back to New York, the next morning I woke up and was like, I had to go. And so I get through the weekend, fine. I get through the weekend, but the second I got back to New York, the next morning I woke up and was like, fucking around in my apartment and all the adrenaline had dumped from like the past two weeks. I sat down and took the most glorious shit. I took like a Jeff Daniels Dumb and Dumber.

My legs were fucking, it was unbelievable. It was almost worth the constipation for that dump. Why is it so satisfying to look at a giant shit? Dude, it's just dropping out of you. You're like, whoa. But it's really big to get excited about. Oh my God, when it snakes out, I have to stop myself for to yell to my fiance. Because I like, there's times where I'm like,

someone's got to see this. Ari would send me pictures. Oh, I mean Ari will box up his poop. Like he did when he gave Big J a box of poop on skates. That makes me gag just hearing about it. He said it was an Avenged Sevenfold album. And he fucking shit in a box and gave it the fucking... And they opened it in front of a crowd.

Oh my God. And everybody was like, ugh. It cleared the room. It was at the old creek in the Queens, downstairs. Box and David the fucking It cleared the room It was at the old Creek in the Queens downstairs it cleared the entire fucking room Everyone's like that smells horrible He's the best Ari is one of those people where you're like and now he's you see he went viral with that sweet story about what he did for his Girlfriend I did see that I didn't read it though. It was, it's just, you know, we both know Ari the person. We both know the very good side, a sweet man. He's a mensch.

He's one of my favorite people. I love him to death. He is truly a mensch. He's a great guy. He united New York in LA comedy. He did. Single-handedly. Well, he went over there with the attitude that we all had at the store. Yeah, he's like, you guys should just meet these guys.

You would like everybody. Yeah. Big J was the first person that he was like close with, and then through Big J and Ari, the healing started. We started hanging out, going to LA, and everyone became friends. The New York versus LA comedy feud was the dumbest thing of all time. It made zero sense. You are literally giving power to all the industry

Separating like that. It's so it would not only was it so dumb But it never made any sense because most of us started on the East Coast. Yeah, you were from Massachusetts Yeah, you started like and then hopes from Worcester. It's like so many guys started in New York I Burr I moved to New York in 07, right when Burr left. And so it felt like ridiculous that people were like LA comics, you're like, Burr just burrs? Like we knew people that were there, it was ridiculous.

It was stupid. But it was a dumb thing, like we just weren't communicating. Yeah, that's so good. Fuck those guys. It's like the walled garden feel. Like you'd come to the store and there would be all the cliques and you wouldn't know who to hang out guys. It's like the walled garden feel like you'd come to the store And there would be all the clicks and you know who to hang out with you know, it's always it's all high school It's always high school high school just keeps repeating itself throughout your life

But you can have a cool group of friends in high school. Yeah, you know, and that's what I try to cultivate Yeah, just people you want to hang with cool group of friends I figured out long time ago on the road and I was trying to explain this to fiend It's better to make less money on the road and then pay a guy who's good to open for you Absolutely and pay for his airfare in a hotel So you make less money, but you'll have more fun. I you have to have more fun For fun is the whole thing. I'll add to that I like bringing my friends who I like to watch because then I get to watch a show. Yes

I watch them in the middle and I go like I'm this is so fun I like bringing my friends who I like to watch because then I get to watch a show. Yes. I watch them in the middle and I go like, this is so fun. Yes. And you get to go on laughing. Yeah, like. You're already laughing. Dan Saint-Germain's one of my best friends

and he's a hilarious comic and I bring him on the road and he just does little stuff that I'm just like, dude, that's so fucking funny. He'll get off stage and I'll be like, that line is so funny. And he'll be like, oh, thanks. When we filmed, because I'm, you know, put out my special on YouTube Friday, March 1st.

When we filmed that, I brought him, because I was like, let's just keep this like a weekend. We're just gonna film this like this is, because it was, I was just on the road. And I was like, let's just film a show at a club that I love, Portland Helium. We'll just film it like it always is. And I get to bring my friend,

and then it's just like a hang. It's like a fun hang that doesn't feel, because you know when you do special tapings, they can feel like everyone's like, are you gonna do it? Right. Is it gonna be, and you're like, and you got like your managers there randomly.

Yes. And it just doesn't feel like a show. Right. Filming it at Portland Helium with St. Germain and having like people around, and just friends come through. through that's just a show It was like odd and then I'm like I'm just gonna put this up on YouTube for free And this is great and this is exactly what I do on the road

Yeah, it was like a fun fucking hang and I think the club shows represent like a more intimate thing Which is what you're doing at home anyway if you're sitting in your living room Yeah, I think there's a disconnect like if you, like I've seen some guys do arena specials. Which is nuts because. Which is nuts. It's. It's so great. Listen, arena shows are.

It can be great. Arena shows are fun, dude. I went and saw Nate at fucking State Farm in Atlanta. I'm not saying arena shows aren't fun. I love arena shows. But here's the point I'm making is I went and saw Nate and live it was an experience. It was like watching one man in front of all those people

just murder my friend. Just being like, buddy, my wife, but it's just like sending out waves. But at home. It's so calm. With like minimal exertion, but maximal reward with the punch lines. If we were in the 40s, he would have had so many,

he would have been a hall of Fame sniper in the army. It's just how calm he would have been and he would have been like seven degrees left. That's a great description of him. Nate would be like seven degrees right. I've never seen someone more calmly kill. It's incredible. It's incredible.

And by the way, the way he kills, his bits are stuff that are, it's so organic and from who he is, that like you're like, I've had multiple phone conversations with Nate, multiple, over the years, where we have talked about something, and then months later, that conversation is a seven minute bit,

and it's just destroying the room. We had, because we all used to hang in New York, like around 0708 at Stand Up New York, when Patrice, Patrice's manager Wayne Rada Because we all used to hang in New York like around 07 08 at stand-up New York when Patrice Patrice's manager Wayne Radha was booking it So it was like Patrice was there a tell big J and then Nate all these guys that I met Specifically Louis J Gomez and all them are all from this time period. So you would have Weird hangs like me, Lewis and Nate.

Nate had a bit that he did on Conan about his friend trying to fight staff members out of McDonald's because he took a bite out of his burger. That was Nate Lewis and I, because we took a bite out of Lewis's hamburger and wrapped it back up. And this psycho came back in and was like, oh, what's up? I started walking at the McDonald's workers. Oh, no. And Nate never like, no, no, no, no, no. Dude, Nate was laughing so hard he had to bail out of the McDonald's. And I had to get in front of Lewis and be like, it was us, it was us.

And then six months later, Nate's on Conan, murdering with a bit about it. Dude, I bought a cheeseburger once from Burger King and it had a bite taken out of it. That is an act of war. If it's not your friend, it's an act of war. I was driving home from training and I got the cheeseburger. What a bad guy to pick.

I got coming home from training. I was so sad. Yeah, I mean you have to throw it away. I was so hungry, I ate it. Did you bite around it? Yeah, I was so poor. I needed the food. When I was a waiter, that's what I would do when someone, I worked in midtown and they would like throw out this steak.

We had a steak, like a, and it was a, in little slices all the way down and I would see how much they would eat. And then I would just go on over and be like, and that's mine. I just put that in a dish and I'd be like, and I got some steak. That's always the way to do it. When you're, when you're that poor, you're like, I'll eat around it. Yeah. I just ate it I was so hungry

But it is a bummer and I didn't know what to do other than that should I go and tell them someone took a bite out of my Brut I have to get home. I'm tired was that I just ate it because I'm saying they picked the wrong guy You pick me who just smoked a bowl and I'll go in and karate kick people. Yes Yes, I wasn't that type of guy. Dude, you could be like, uh, show enough and hit the last dragon and go fuck up. Who ate my mother fucking cheeseburgers? When I say who ate my bird, you could pick the wrong guy to do that too, though. You could pick a guy who just found out that his wife's been fucking his best friend and

she stole $100,000 from his bank account and his boss just fired him and then he is in all fucking rage. And he gets a cheeseburger and it's got a bite taken out of it. And it's like, oh, okay, motherfucker. And then you pull in with that cheeseburger and just start laying people out.

Yeah, you're describing what's gonna happen And then you pull in with that cheeseburger and just start laying people out. Yeah You're just writing out there. You're describing what's gonna happen to all these YouTube pranksters Some of our bringing big giant security guards with them Well, that's their thing now because there was a story about a guy one of these pranksters that got shot You got shot in the stomach. Oh, I saw that and then the article came An article came out with interview with his dad Shining stomach by an illegal immigrant by the way Yeah, but still a prank So quick to pull guns, I mean, where's he from fuck around with I mean he ran from something You know that that guy ran from something more dangerous than him. Yeah, maybe jail. I mean, yeah

There's like some jail some of these people jail. Some of these people are like, dude, do you don't want to fuck? It's again, the wrong guy. You picked the wrong guy. Yeah, you picked the wrong guy. You picked the wrong guy by fucking pull his pants down. Just shot him in the gut. Dude, there were old pranks.

People used to, because this is coming waves. There was like in the vine days, people were doing pranks. And they were deep-hancing like black dudes just walking up and deep-hancing black guys like in the hood and being like no no no and the second they would like get swarmed on they'd like that's a prank and there's one where a guy does it and you hear that gun hit the street and that prankster's like and the guy like picks up the gun and you're like dude wouldn't you you could have been dead you You could have been dead a hundred percent. It's and by the way The the security guards are just gonna make it worse because then you're gonna get a guy

Maybe you have a guy that can fucking handle himself and he's not scared of your security and now there's two people Security guy gets shot first exactly. Yeah, and you're like dude. That's crazy man There's what people will do for attention. It's just nuts. But that's what it, that's alien, dude. It's alien weaponry. You might be onto something. They're coming from under the sea. Here's the thought. And they're giving us weapons.

I'm all about USOs now, dude. Yeah, under sea UFOs. It's unidentified submersible objects. Yeah. That's where they are, dude. Yeah. They're at the floor of this- That's what Cat Williams said. Yeah. We're at the floor of the cat William said Yeah

We were talking about sonar here. Just my heart where I'm like, yeah, we both have the same crazy theory You said is this correct or incorrect? I love that. He was we were talking about space about how we know more about space than we do about the ocean Which is true and he was saying that those underwater listening devices were most likely so that they could hear UFOs moving around. Dude. Because if they're really, I imagine they're really on a basis under the ocean and they know about them.

Well, here's the thing that if they know about them, fuck you, you should tell us. But here's what I think. You should tell us. The theory I had, because I heard about, I listened to an episode of Last Podcast on the Left where they were talking about USOs and I got super into it because I heard about, I listened to an episode of Last Podcast on the Left, where they were talking about USOs, and I got super into it, because I was high enough. You know, when the song hits correctly, sometimes the podcast will do that.

And I was listening to Last Podcast on the Left, and it hit where I go like, it unlocked, because they had this theory that they talked about, that the millions of years it took us to crawl out of the water and evolve into fucking Liz, you know, whatever we are, like monkeys and then Neanderthals and then humans, all that millions of years, there were things under the ocean evolving for millions of years with technology and stuff.

And we're just up on the roof. But yeah, the problem is we've never seen anything other than us that manipulates its environment. The intelligent things that we found in the ocean that are real are dolphins and orcas and whales. And what about dolphins and orcas are crazy intelligent? Like octopuses too, right? Yes, that's true too.

But none of them, the octopus are very smart, but none of them have ever figured out how to make things like make houses and cars and ships and it's It's all like they're out in the wild. There's no houses I used to do a bit about how dangerous the ocean is because there's no doors I'm like there's no doors no matter what you just came sharks and crabs and no doors and everywhere You look everything is eating everything Yeah, it's literal murder soup because they all eat each other. It's a ladder of eating Yeah, everything goes up and it's something at the top you have killer whales that are eating whales

They eat everything, but what if we're? Missing something what if we don't see it? What if we are too stupid? What if we're just like rock monkeys? And they're just like, they can't see down here. These guys have no fucking clue. You know when you're in a tinted car and someone's like, like looking in the window and you're looking at them like, look at this fucking idiot. You don't even see me.

Mate, what if that's us with the aliens in the water? What if we're like looking down there in the water and they're like, these fucking idiots? Even when they come down here, they can't see shit That's possible. It's possible that they also can be completely invisible. Yeah, we're really close to being able to do that now with stuff They figured out how to like project what's behind things on screens So you can you can like have What's behind things on screens so you can you can like have

Theoretically have a vehicle that has it's moving through an environment. It's projecting what's there That's a predator shit. Yeah, like literally that's that's a concept that they're working on they're working on for air Aircrafts they're working on it for for vehicles that's terrifying And that's just step one step two would be do something that alters reality around the thing so it's invisible. Yeah It look so that's right So you go into the ocean and we're like down there and we're so limited Yeah, because we can't breathe down there So we're limited we're in like submarines or we have robots and it's just like us

It's just like a fucking ring every footage under the sea looks like a ring doorbell where it's just like And we don't know what the fuck yeah, they could be behind it like these idiots There's so little of it that we've explored There's only like 10% of the ocean floor that we've explored 10% that's so crazy 10% and then the thing that they always see You UFOs or us o's over water It's like the high frequency that they see them and then they just fucking just down in there And they're like follow me bitch. We're like we can't we can't breathe, you know space or the ocean We can't breathe down there. We have a limited amount of room. We can move around in

Just the idea of something being here the whole time is so creepy. Yeah, yeah. And then, but us being what's comforting is we're all so stupid we don't see it. Right. Imagine if you had a friend that's like, hey, if a couple people could see it, you'd be terrified. Imagine if society had gotten to a point at one point in time where artificial intelligence and human brains mixed and we created a

superclass of Species like a new thing. That's both technological and biological. Yeah, and only a small number of Beings got that I mean you beings, for some reason, left and left us here the way we are. That's what we're seeing with these aliens. Those are humans that went down the road that we're going down right now. And they were like, dude, we're going to get out of here. Yeah. And then maybe there was all the disasters that that happened like the the younger drys impact the asteroids hit all that stuff in level society but they escape because they're interdimensional

travelers yeah they're like we're gonna get the fuck out of here it's like leaving a house you just like I don't care about the house somewhere else they don't need food anymore they probably work on nuclear energy or something there's probably some crazy power or anti- like anti-matter. Yeah. It's like a thing that we would never even think of. Yeah. They don't need to breed. The thing that I, the Jimmy Carter brief, did you know about this when he, where they

briefed him and it like broke him emotionally? Yeah. Where he was like so upset where they were like, hey, by the way, they've been here forever. I like their, he was like a deeply religious man. Well, Tucker Carlson's talked about this recently Really? Yeah, Tucker Carlson said that he believes that they've always been here and he believes that it's probably You know, he's talking about like good and evil. Yeah, we all we know that good exists and we know that evil exists Sure, we know that people are capable of doing evil like those. These are real forces in the world. Yeah, and

There so people what people are saying is that these experiences that some people are having with like benevolent ones, that you're, this is the stories of demons. This is the stories of the Bible. That there's like, there's races that are evil. There's alien races that don't give a fuck, just like there's praying mantises. Yeah.

They eat hummingbirds. Like in nature. Just because they're super smart. There are creatures that are aggressive, that are smart, like a hyena. And then there's like animals that are aggressive and just powerful like lions. And think about us, the smartest animal on the planet that we know of and what do we do to chickens? Fuck them.

No. Those chickens. I go, no, you don't fuck. Ah, god damn. This is where my whole world unravels. I go, Joe, I fuck chickens, you know fuck My whole world unravels I go Joe I fuck chickens dude. I don't know I didn't think you're gonna get me like that But yeah, there could be the the idea of benevolent aliens of like The idea that there's our aliens that are good and aliens that are bad Yeah scares me so much more because you're just like please leave me alone and like good ones bail me out of it

I mean, but imagine like if something became super intelligent, but in a more Balanced environment like instead of the way humans are so much more intelligent than everything else Yeah, what if there was other shit around that was pretty close to us So you're saying like what if the food chain the the gap wasn't as big between one and two. Right. Right. Would we ever... That would be a lot nicer to each other.

Right. But would we ever get to this point? That's the thing. I think if it did, it would be a slower roll. Way slower, right? But I also believe that community and empathy would be higher if we had less of us, more danger, more threat. If there were, if there was like,

I tried this as a bit, but it never worked. If dolphins had legs, like if they just came out, cause they rape and if dolphins came out and just on land and you'd be like, cause they're so, they're all muscle. So they would just fuck our shit up. Oh, they'd kill you. Yeah. A dolphin that could breathe. Yeah. And then. Oh, you're all muscle. Yeah, so they would just fuck our shit up. Oh, they kill you. Yeah a dolphin that could breathe Yeah, and then you're in trouble. Yeah, we're absolutely fucked

I'm gonna trouble imagine so pro dolphin, but dolphins evolved legs They just become the worst rapist planet and they're like what were you wearing? And you know, they raped your dog. They rape everything just everything fuck. They rape your car Super intelligent. They just your car? Yeah. Super intelligent. They just fuck everything they find. My Ultima got fucked by a dolphin. I'm gonna be late to work.

They... Your Emus laid out in the fucking garage. They're just like a tornado of rape. Just coming through and fucking the town up. They also commit Infantricide. What's that? They kill babies. They got those Chinese anti-natal laws.

I don't think they call it Infantricide. What do they call babies? So those Chinese What do they call it and fantasize is like large-scale killing of children? I think I think I might have exaggerated that but I think what they do is when female Dolphins have babies apparently they they won't breed for a long period of time while they're raising that baby Sure, they're being good moms and what male dolphins due, if they have not had sex with the female dolphin, I hope I'm not fucking any of this up, they'll kill the babies. To fuck the mom? To force the mom into breeding again, force her back into estrus. That's the trailer trash is. The strategy that the female dolphins have employed is to have sex with as many male dolphins around her as she can, so that no one knows who's the baby.

Yeah, so everyone's like, that might be my kid. Exactly. Genius. Wait a minute. Reports of infanticide, infanticide, and cessations have been quadrupled in the past decade. And now, infanticide has now been documented in six species of toothed whale, including multiple populations of common bottlenose dolphins.

Damn. Damn. Yeah. So if you're a grown dolphin, you've made it through a lot. You made it through a lot. You made it through a lot of dolphins wanting to fuck your mom while you were a kid. If you can't make a house, the world is rough. Do you know how different I would have been

if I was raised by a single mom who dated? If all those guys had to kill me to fuck my mom Oh, my you know how dangerous I would be right now. Oh, I would be a dad. I'd just be a what yeah I'd be absolutely dead. I would have been a kid. I was also a little sweetie pie. I was a Kevin McAllister I'm not sitting home alone traps. I would have gotten rolled Dennis. I'll tell you the guy's name That's hilarious. He was the first guy my mom dated after my dad. Dennis would have killed me. Yeah, probably.

Yeah, because he would have been like, wait, you're not gonna fuck with this, when this kid's around and she's like, he's nice. She's just coming up behind me with piano wire. I'm like, yeah. I think for dolphins, it's like six years too. That times out exactly how old I was.

I was maybe five when my mom started dating That's so funny to think about them. I have to be like my mom's like I'm going on a date Just the whole day. I'm just like where the fuck is he come get me you son of a bitch How weird is it we put those things in swimming pools and pet them in ride them and shit? Yeah, just tricks do a trick I I went to the Atlanta aquarium They have a great aquarium and I was doing shows there and I went and Went to the dolphin exhibit and I thought it was funny because these dolphin trainers are also scientists Yeah, but then they have to dance. It's like the weirdest thing though Like they know all this stuff about dolphins, but then they're like hey do, do a little, do a little routine and feed them a fish.

And you're like, how disrespected are you as a scientist that they're like, and fucking twirl around a little bit and making these incredibly intelligent, wild, wild beasts of the sea. Do these dance? I'm surprised they don't snap all the time. Do they kill a lot of trainers? Killer whales do. They've killed a few. Yeah, Do they kill a lot of trainers? Killer whales do.

They've killed a few. Yeah, that's when they bring them down. There was one and they kept using them because they're so valuable. A male killer whale. So he killed someone and they kept him around. Who's the guy that's next up on that? Who's the guy that they're like?

I think they sold them to another place. That's what you do, because no one working there will be like. Yeah. Whatever happened with that one, there was one in SeaWorld so the four four fatal attacks by Orcas in captivity Tillicum was involved in three and he's the killed three people he's the one from Blackfish right yeah he probably killed three people

damn he's got three bodies on him. Why wasn't Tilikum put down? Branchew's family and animal rights activists say they do not want to see Tilikum killed. Branchew, how do you say that name? Branchew? Branchew. Branchew's sister, Diane Gross, told the Associated Press that the trainer loved the animals like they were her children. It would not want anything done to that whale even though it killed her yeah yeah get over it lady the

things uh things murdering people yeah just it killed your kid if you're the family members of one of those people I will kill like first of all you should really let it go yeah you're you you're holding it in captivity against its will and it's a super intelligent Like behemoth of the sea I thought I had a lung infection Damn it went down with emphysema where did it where they take it they moved it somewhere after he killed three people Just imagine working at that fucking place and you go who do we this is the killer whether it's killed three people We got tillie in Orlando

Yeah, to Victoria British Columbia and then back to Orlando Wow Long trip he sired 21 calves throughout his life. So that's that I want him for his cum They want his jizz. Yes. One is his hot orca whale. He's not see you're not allowed to capture them anymore Yeah, wasn't it that show whale huntersca whale geese. So you're not allowed to capture them anymore. Yeah, wasn't that that show Whale Hunters all about that? Just like, I don't know, I didn't see it. Oh, dude, it was wild. It was on Discovery, I think.

And there was just these guys going out there and they were trying to stop people from whale hunting. So they just like smash into their boats and shit. Isn't it crazy that they're saying you're not allowed to go capture them? OK, everybody would agree that's a good thing, right? Sure. But you're allowed to keep them and make them breed and make you more of them.

That's like saying, no more slavery except for the slaves you have. And you can have kids with them and those count. But no new slaves. But no new one. That's almost like saying. You can't go buy a new one. But you can keep the one you have right now and force it to breed like if they are as intelligent as us

Yeah, but they just can't manipulate their environment. It's very similar It's not a human being obviously So we don't respect it and treat it the same way as we treat ourselves Sure Imagine if it was a human being in the same role that would be insane if there was a human being that had to live in a swimming pool and and do tricks and And if like if it's as smart as a human being yeah, you're going saying they don't know how smart they are They really don't know so you think they just feel crazy the whole time

percent just out of their fucking nuts How come I have to dance to feed to eat and you're trapped in a swimming pool You're where's the ocean but it just be like us in a room like a pretty big room that you could run around in some of them Are born in captivity when this one was captured at two years old it was put into one tank in Iceland and that was transferred and when it was transferred to the new tank in British Columbia It was abused it said by two older female. Oh Wow Columbia it was abused it said my two older female oh Wow Says forced him into a smaller pool that is crazy get out of here

He's like I go to the medical pool Wow the trainers had to keep him in the other pool for protection So it's probably isolated just like a person it becomes a serial killer. Yeah abused isolated. Yeah, no wonder he's killing people Yeah, cuz he's trying to he's flailing to get out He doesn't want to live like that. I hate fucking asshole. That's why he grabs a lady That's like I think we can get him up here, but that energy of them getting like Guys if you clap I think he'll come up and you just feel that like that pull that like animal strength of An orca whale that has to be the most terrifying way to die because you are drowning which is horrible But number two you're being forced down by a thing. That's the size of a building

Yeah, not that big but like it's the size of a Mack truck and it's fucking holding you down at the bottom of a pool And you're just like... And you're just trapped in its teeth. Yeah. So it obviously doesn't give a fuck about you. But it's holding you in a way that you're like, well, this is it. Rescue attempts were thwarted by the whales, refused to let burn go even after she was believed to have fallen unconscious in the water.

Her corpses later retrieved with a large net net after which she was determined to be deceased. Her death was ruled an accident. It's murder. That was murder. So the whales were like, they were keeping her there? They were high-fiving after? They were stopping the rescue attempts, yeah. They damped each other out.

They wanted her dead. After they were like, we got her. They wanted her dead. Yeah. That's so crazy. They're so smart, man. Also, was she the head trainer? The lady that got killed was usually 20 and then I'm reading in the second one

This is that this the second was a guy's they call him a vagrant snuck into the pool, which by the way until it come killed him Yeah, by the way, you know him you sneak into that is the ace Ventura moment where he's like here snowflake Well, that's on him. You sneak into that is the Ace Ventura moment where he's like, here's snowflake, here's snowflake. See now all of a sudden I'm on Tilikum's side. That guy, that guy, fuck you. That's on you. That's him.

But I'm on Tilikum's side, like, what are you doing? Why are we still allowing that? That's so crazy that after, if anybody's watched that movie, the Orca movie, what is it called? Blackfin, what do you call it? Blackfish? Blackfish. I thought you were going to say Free Willy.

I was going to go, I know, in the soundtrack. Blackfish or have watched any of the documentaries, any of the YouTube videos that you could see about Orcas' in captivity. It's crazy that that's legal. Yeah. It's torture. Yeah, you're taking a thing that they're just like- It didn't do anything. It's a prisoner. It's a prisoner for life. It's also a giant. It needs space. It's a prisoner. It's a prisoner for life. It's also giant and needs space

Yeah, it means same I can't imagine feeling guilt-free Owning that place. It's literally like you being stuck in this room for the rest of your life And then I come out and I do a sick routine Give me like cheeseburgers and I come back in here and I go like that new Batman bits really hitting. Imagine. Stuff my face and then finally I've just had enough of it. After years, years of daily of just that.

And by the way, absolute abuse because I'm sure or because they're smart enough that they don't always listen to commands like anything with intelligence. It's not 100% gonna listen to commands. It's gotta think and sometimes it doubts and sometimes like, and then they probably were abusing it. The fact that they killed her and that the other whales did look out like a fucking prison hit, I would be like,

yeah, I don't wanna speak at a turn, but if I was her family. I'm moving back to Shamu, because I was like, why did they call them all Shamu? The first one first one not the first but it was one of the first ones was called Shamu and this one had a An incident too. It didn't the woman didn't die, but in which she bit the legs and hips of Vannette Echis a SeaWorld employee who was told to ride her as part of a film publicity event Shamu refused to release the woman until other workers came to the rescue and pried the orcas' jaws apart with a pole.

Oh! Oh my God! Oh my God. She died four months later, or not the whale, not the woman. Yeah. Oh, she's only conditioned to perform with trainers wearing wetsuits.

So the problem is this girl got on with wearing a bikini because by the way it was 71 So they were absolutely doing that like why don't you give him a sexy ride? A sexy ride on Shamu Shamu loves sexy ladies and then Shamu was like I am a devout Muslim Get either either get a burger on That's I mean do like skin. Yeah get your get a Birkan. That's, I mean, dude. You're like skin. Yeah. Get your dirty vagina off of me. Yeah, you fucking weird rock monkeys touching me with your fucking land skin. You got your feet on me. Your dry skin.

She was only trained to do it with people wearing wet suits. Yeah. So she had previously attacked people in bikinis before. And if you're like, if you're one of those guys that is running that park and you're all sexed up on cocaine, on good 70s cocaine, and you're like, yeah, baby, you can ride Shimu. And they're like, hey dude, I don't think you should put her on there. And he goes, no, no, no, it's a sexy ride. She loves sexy rides.

And I was like, pull up in his tranzam. And he's like, yeah, you can ride the whales. Because back in the 70s, They didn't give a fuck about animals They didn't give a fuck 70s and 80s Dude, one of our coats bro, dude Milo and Otis There's a movie called Milo and Otis in the 80s and 90s What is it? It's a movie about a puppy and a dog that love each other, right? My favorite episode of Legionist Gangs ever is I wasn't even on it a movie about a puppy and a dog that love each other, right?

My favorite episode of Leisureous Gangster ever is, I wasn't even on it. Lewis J Gomez talks about it, gets tiered up, because he loves the movie so much. I think he was drunk on the podcast. It's like, if you watched in your childhood, it sticks with you. It's a movie about a dog and a cat from 86. And it's like, yeah, it's about a pug and this cat

and their friends and they just go on a wild adventure through wherever they're going through, right? And you're like, as part of my childhood, it's live action. I remember this being like, dude, this is such a sweet movie. You look up the animal abuse that occurred on this movie and I can't even watch this because it upsets me knowing, there's, I think you can look it up,

there was a scene involving a cat where they killed like 12 of them to get this scene done, because I think it was filmed in a country with like no animal rights, like no at all. And they were just like, that scene, that was the scene where the cats in the thing, I think they lost like a bunch of cats. There was a scene where they had to make them walk with a limp and they were just breaking his leg

That's what I mean. You read about it and you're like Once they did that episode on skanks and then I read about it because I like was listening to the episode playing video games And I was like I gotta look this up it fucked me up. I like can't oh My god, it's the animal welfare allegations. Yeah. OK, yeah, they probably aren't going into the details, but you can find the details online. But they were like, because you see it and you're like,

oh, look at that, an animal and a cat friends. Well, isn't that like the idea of like. An animal and a cat, friends. Well, isn't that like the idea of like, if you ran like a billionaire pedophile business? Sure. All right. I'm with you. You did it through an animation company. Oh, isn't it kind of like that? Well, the Nickelodeon thing where that guy got busted.

That guy, Jay and I talked it on the bonfire before I left, but this guy at Nickelodeon did, he was like on, remember the show, Head of the Class? He was- I don't remember. Yeah, this guy named, his name's Dan something, and he was a higher up at Nickelodeon, and it found out that he was just like, like wildly abusing everyone, like feet pictures. Dude, his pool at his house, this guy, Dan Schneider, this guy, his pool at his house this guy Dan Schneider this guy his pool at his house is a foot And he was accused of having like a crazy foot fetish. You have a crazy foot fetish. Don't make your pool of foot

Whoa, yeah invest. Yeah, there's a series. That's what it is. I learned all my shit from bad The problem is if you get busted for something like that you look like that everyone's gonna believe you did it Yeah, but you got pedophile face like a motherfucker Yeah, some deviant shit, you know who else had that was the guy that did all the boy bands in Orlando Lou Lou what was his name Lou Perlman Lou Perlman you just like yeah you you abused kids like you see a picture of them Bro, the best one is Jimmy Savile. Oh my god, dude. Yeah, look at that. Oh, yeah Look at him. Just a bunch of hot boys screaming like they're all having a good He's like yeah, he's just not oh my god

He looks like a Philip Seymour Hoffman wore a fat suit and played an evil guy. It was on worse heroin Yeah, you fuse on me Look at him. Oh my god, but Jimmy Savile was like the creepiest looking creep of all time By the way, he did shit that was like in the documentary. I don't even know if they brought it up like he would like Fuck with kids that were dying like on the step of death may be even past. Oh my god That is evil. Look at him. He looks like a demon. And also who wears a mesh shirt like that when you're all old and got turkey skin? A freak, a sexual freak. And he had his own supply of kids.

And he's sexually abusing these kids. And these kids are like, dude, I'm dying. I got fucking leukemia and I got to fuck this weird looking dude. But imagine that other people knew. Yeah. And they protected it. That's the worst part. There's no way no one knew that he was fucking kids. No, it's like the Sandusky thing in Penn State where there were like people that were like, kind of found out about it.

And then we're scared that if they said anything they'd lose their job. And then you're like, well, that's where the power comes in. It's not necessarily a clean and cut thing. Morality wise, I mean, obviously it is. I think you say if you see something you say, but like those people kind of who are next to that kind of power, well, they have that thing in them that they want

to be close to that power. They have that like thirst to be close to that power. So they're not going to say anything because if they say anything, they're kicked out of the party. And they don't want to get, you know, but in reality, guys like him should be hunted for sport. Yeah. By people and then you put that on cable.

Yeah. And I watched that. And you get really rich. Yeah. You get really rich. Like pay-per-view. Hunting bad people. Yeah. And you go like, I want to see Jimmy Saab.

Bro, imagine if we did have the ability to film things in HD from the sky Where you never interacted you could do the entire show it's come it's common And it's Jimmy Savile gets let loose and one of those kids is 18 now. Oh, yes, baby It's him and his dad so it's like a bonding experience Yeah, or you get the guy Larry Nesser, Nasser from Michigan State. I just watched that video of the dad trying to attack him in court. That will fire you up when you see a dad be like, can I get a minute with him? And the judge is like, you know, I can't do that. He's just like the move and then he gets like this guy.

Yeah. This and it's completely understandable. Larry Nassar's a piece of shit. What happened to that guy? Did he get in trouble? Yeah, this is a By the way shout out his daughters for being proud the entire time of him they don't ever break they watch it And they're like thanks dad He just wanted to get his hands on Larry Nasser One He just wanted to get his hands on Larry Nasser Recently the guy jumped across and got to do that's why that one's wild. That's some air Yeah, dude that one that guy got a full fucking jump man. That was a full Goldberg spear in the air. That was not instantaneous. He was preparing for that. You know, there's no way

Did he go like Do you think he did like a Went for it man. It was so fast. There's a moment where you wonder if he goes like this. It was so fast. Watch how fast he moves. Here he is. He points with the largest data that I've ever seen.

Gets her too. Yeah. You know what? He jumped over the whole desk. Bro, he jumped over the whole desk. Whatever prison he gets put in, you're hoping there's a longest yard situation where you can use this guy on the field. That guy's going to be a hero.

Yeah, he's going to go in and be like, damn, you got her too. Because he got, he got him. It was an arm tackle. He got her. Did you see what they did to him though the next time they brought him in? Yeah, they like muzzled him and kept him like a Hannibal Lecter. Like Hannibal Lecter. Yeah, show how they brought him in the second time. Look at how they brought him in. Which you should have entrance music

like a fighter. Look at this guy. Look at that. They gave him a net. They put a... He's chained. His hands are in bags. He can't use his fingers. He's handcuffed and shackled. And they got seven guys around him. Yeah. Wild. Dude. Look at his eyes. Fuck. But we, you know what? You hear that thing. Imagine being him right now. But you hear that thing where the judge goes like, because from what I read he was prepared to get like paroled I think. Like that's where he was in his head. And the judge is like, no, no, no, you're staying for like five more years and he's like fuck that shit like that is such an instantaneous like yeah

Fuck this what yeah, like I don't know what he did. I don't know what you know Yeah, but in that moment of being told like no no no you're He had just been doing a speech. I remember hearing that he said like he had not been committing crimes anymore. He's rehabilitated and Shit that she said like he had not been committing crimes anymore. He's rehabilitated and Shit that she's like no She then did the mood she did the the Kenbe Mutombo and she's like no no no no no What was he being tried for like what was he there for? But do that battery No way not that guy Doesn't, no, no, no, I mean this is.

That guy doesn't have an aggressive bone in his body. Dude, but by the way, that is a fucking hell of a defense. Battery on a protective, oh, that's the one we got for her. Oh, that's what we got for her. That's what we got for the judge. For jumping at the. They hit him with the book. Yeah.

They hit him with so many charges. And it's a viral video. They have to put a stop to that. Yeah, it's like streakers Right like they're like they don't show them on TV, right? And then they when they do catch them they're like we got to hit you with something We got to hit you something big I was at the Super Bowl and they ran in the streakers that got there. You see the one guy bet on himself. Yeah

That's immediately what I said to Che when we were at the game I was like dude those guys put a bet down that they would do this and they're going to make a lot of money off this. That's pretty wild. Because why not? You'd be like, I bet there'll be a streaker in the third quarter and then you're like, I can affect that. That's pretty wild. My favorites that all these betting sites now allow wrestling as a lifelong wrestling

fan, I'm like, come on guys. That's hilarious. This is crazy. Like you're watching Monday Night Raw and they're like, Monday Night like, come on guys. That's hilarious. This is crazy. Like you're watching Monday Night Raw and they're like, Monday Night Raw, Draft Kings. And you're like, this is fake. This is predetermined. How is that legal?

Do you guys try to ruin gambling forever? Dude, also, what's next? You're gonna bet on Fast and Furious movies? Yeah. And you're gonna be like, I bet Vin hits gnaws in the first fucking hour of the movie. You're like, this is fucking wild. You're watching, you're gonna bet on plays on like Broadway plays or you're like, you know, funny girl.

I bet she has a problem at the end of act one. It's fucking ridiculous. It's so stupid. And I love wrestling, but I would never be like, oh, finally. My favorite thing was coming up with gambling for my friends when we watched the Royal Rumble. Like you put money in a pot and then you get numbers and then that's your guy. But not like going on a app and putting down like a thousand bucks. Fuck that.

Well, I think guys get super addicted to that too. It's gambling. Yeah. It's 100% gambling. You ask people that went to gambling, gamblers anonymous, like people that have been through the program through that and they'll be like, fuck heroin. Well, they say it does the most damage.

It does the most damage out of all the addictions. Heroin is a set price. There's no set price with gambling. And by the way, the more you go up, the higher the high and lower the low. So you're doing big, big bets. You're gonna, if you get fucked, you're fucked. Sure, if you win, it's amazing,

but then all you do is you just wanna go do it again. People don't walk away, it's like dealing drugs. People never walk away from that shit. They never win. The house always wins. They're gonna take your money. Always. Always. They're not, they have the smartest,

dude, I had a buddy when I first moved out east I lived with my buddy Morgan in New Jersey and he loved he loved the taste and this is like when you had to go to a bookie and shit so he was like doing some real gambling he would get so fucking into it but then he was right he would yell this thing all the time when he would bet on the points and the points would hit to Fuck him. He'd be like, they're from the future. They're from the fucking future He would like scream it if he lost like a thousand dollar bet on the mix and you're like Yeah, they have the smartest guys working for them

Like they know how like to set the line like all those guys are fucking crazy smart They're crazy smart and they use analytics. Exactly. You're going to you're going against Wall Street. You're going against guys that probably could be making millions on Wall Street. Yeah. And you're just like, yeah, I think the chiefs are going to win. Dude, the worst was gambling has got it. It was in Vegas. So, you know, obviously there's more gambling. But the Super Bowl, if your team's in the Super Bowl, you fucking care.

But I've been to two Super Bowls, and what I've learned is there's a lot of people there that don't give a shit. They just wanna go to a Super Bowl. They're just at a Super Bowl. They don't care who the teams are. As someone who does care who the team is, it's a different viewing experience.

So the fourth quarter of the Niners Chiefs game, I'm a die-hard Niners fan. I am like sweating. I'm like, Che and I are like punching each other in weird ways. Like, we're just like, we're just like this the whole time. We're like holding hands. It was fucking nuts.

These fucking guys in front of us were just these like business CEOs from North Carolina. And as they got drunk, they noticed Che, cause you know, he's on SNL, so they know a famous guy. So they kind of were doing that thing where they wanted to talk to us, but we were like, dude, it's a fucking Super Bowl. Like we're watching the Super Bowl.

This is big for us. We're 49ers fans. Can we watch this? And by the fourth quarter, the guy goes, yeah, I've got a parlay if Brandon I you can get two more catches and I just put my hand in front of his face and I went, what do you know? I don't want to talk to you right.

He was turned around talking to me and you're like, because he thinks I care about his bets. You're like, dude, I love this team. We are almost at the mountain top. Shut the fuck up about. It's like having a party over your house. And it's just the wrong person shows up. It just camps out in front of you and starts talking to you.

And you're like, do you not understand? No. And I give too much of a shit about the 49ers because it was the only thing my dad and I shared. So I give like that extra. Extra. Like this is connected. Boston with the Red Sox. It's like yeah, it is it's a national identity

It's a disease more than it is an enjoyment. It's like a thing like I see that logo and I'm like So much and that's hilarious They played the last season they played the Eagles in the NFC championship game and all my friends are from Philly And they played the Eagles in the NFC championship game and all my friends are from Philly Like a lot of my comedy friends are Eagles fans big J. Becky own Fucking Shane Tommy like there's so many guys. I know that love the Eagles specifically big J and Big J is like dude. I'm having a party Come over and watch it and I was like no I care, no, I care way too much.

I care way too much. And it was just him, Eagles fans, and then friends that didn't give a shit. And that's what I said. I was like, I know there's gonna be one person that talks to me that I'm like, please don't talk to me right now. But also I'm the enemy over there.

So then I watched it at home. Worst decision I've ever had in my life. Cause I watched it alone and I just went like crazy, like an orca whale. It's just like screaming at a TV by myself.. I do that if I watch fights. Yeah. Yeah, if I watch a good UFC at home I'm screaming. Yeah, cuz you rest of I shut the door. Oh my god. It's pure enjoyment. It's like yeah It's these sports viewing equivalent of walking around your hotel naked. Yeah, you're like no one can come in here This is my room and I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I want right now

Yeah, it's unbelievable And if you're if you're live in your screaming, it just seems normal, but you want one other person there You want a person all I had was my dog and she didn't understand why you yell it Why I was so fucking hyped up and when Brock Purdy's elbow got injured She just saw me spiraling away. You know dogs can tell your eggs anxious or whatever Yeah, she's just like slamming her body into my leg and shaking and I'm like no, no, no, it's all right It's all right. We're fucking still in this thing My dog is so sweet that he he freaks out when there's violence in movies. Oh, really watching movies together

We're watching this new Netflix show. What is this new Netflix show? It's a Korean series about people that get infected and they become Monsters, I don't know. It's called Sweet Home or something like that. Sounds badass. It's fucking great. It's a fun show, fun show. But there's some violent moments where the monsters get people and the dog is like, what the fuck is going on?

He gets up and he starts spinning around. That's called Sweet Home. Dude, that is- Fun show, man. Dogs having anxiety about stuff they don't understand. He got a toy. He's like bringing the toy to me. I'm like, dude, it's not real, man.

It's not real. Dude, my dog, whenever a dog comes on the screen, cause she's like, what the fuck? Like someone's in her house. Like we'll just be chilling there. And then she'll try to like, Shane came over and was hanging out. It was the first time you met Myrtle.

And I think my dog was like trying to impress him. Cause mostly the time she'll look up and be like, and you're like, shut the fuck up. But this one, she was like, like ran to the TV or like, you're not big. Stop acting big. That dog was in this room. It would fuck your shit up. Also, she only barks at cute dogs.

If it's like a hell hound or something, she's like, nah, I'm good if it's like a hell Something she's like She's like that fucking the first time Marshall saw the American Whirl from London he barked at it. Yeah. Oh and there Yeah, yeah, that thing if you're a dog. Yeah, that has to be terrifying. Yeah, he saw it. He's right. Oh, yeah He called it now. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He knows it's not real. All right. Yeah, that first time He's like what first time he's like whoa, and he hardly ever barks. There's Carl is car One of his first barks ever I think Carl saw it was like Hey, cool dude, that is great that you have a dog that you don't know if it barks or not Marshall never barks to heal he'll bark if he wants to come inside like if someone leaves him outside for a bit, and he comes to the door, he'll bark.

He'll like one bark. Bark! Like mom! Dad! Someone's here! Yeah, dad. We wrote it, we were like, because we got her during the pandemic,

so everyone was inside in New York, and so we were like, don't bark. We live in an apartment, shut the fuck up. And then hilariously, Katie and I left the dog with her parents in Boston. Oh no. We came back, and we're like, don't bark. We live in an apartment, shut the fuck up. And then hilariously, Katie and I left the dog with her parents in Boston. Oh no. And we came back and the dog's barking. And her mom rules, and her mom just in a box and acts

and goes, she box now. And you're like, well, no, I don't think we want that. At least we've tried hard not to do that. And now she'll just like, she'll pop off for random shit like people in the hallway Oh, no, we live in a big building right so someone will be out in the hall and she back And just that and then it's the little grumbles God damn it dude. I'm so jealous you can go everywhere with Carl. I wish I could bring my fat little bitch everywhere with you Yeah, Carl could go anywhere Carl Carl just sitting in your lap.

Yeah, Carl's just like... Especially if you time it right. Oh, Jamie, you get to get so evil if you want to and then you can just have like a dog where you're like, that is correct. Yeah, man, I fucking... Having a dog was the greatest thing about the pandemic, was we got a dog and it has made my life... It just rules.

Dogs are amazing. It just absolutely rules. They're amazing. I had one growing up and then I just didn't forever and I was always like, no, I loved seeing dogs, but then having one, you're like. You know what's really funny? I always try to attribute human thought to the dog sometimes. Yeah. Like I'm like, one of these days is going to get bored chasing this ball.

Nope. There's not a chance in hell. Every time I have one of those, it's like a stick with a scoop on the end of it, that the ball goes in. You get to highlight that shit. Yeah. You highlight the shit out of it. You got a fucking dog highlight.

It's nice. It's fun. Yeah. You can get that thing going. He fucking loves that thing. When he sees me pulled out there, he's like, I video taped it because it's so silly. He's like bouncing around.

Oh, Jesus. Dude, if someone controlled my PlayStation intake and then just pulled out of I video taped it because it's so silly like bouncing around. Oh, Jesus If someone controlled my PlayStation intake and then just pulled out a controller Because you never don't get pumped to play a really good game. No dude spider-man 2 I'm so excited that they're coming out with DLCs coming and I'm gonna go home and be like That's me. I'm like Marshall with the toy. Hey, have you fucked around with VR at all? No, I don't like that shit Let me explain why old-school Pothead loved to be very high. I like controllers, right? What I got was a Steam Deck Which is like You know the Nintendo switch. It's like that on steroids. And it gets games like really good games for the road.

It has made it, cause I've fucked with everything from Game Boy on and having a Steam Deck. I'm like, I got it for Christmas. I was like, this is the greatest thing I've ever had. I had to draw the line with video games. When we had, we set up a LAN. Yeah, you get that. Back at the old studio.

Yeah. And I got the bug again. Oh, yeah. Where I was running in there to, to play Quake. You turn your brain off. Couldn't wait. You turn the. But always feel like shit when you leave. Like, what the fuck do I just do?

You got to do it in like, um, small servings or, or like, there has to be a purpose to it where you're like, you're done at this moment. Cause if you can go, that's where you get sick. It's just if you can just keep going until, like you need an ending point. Like that's why like Madden, the game ends, you're like, I played two games. I'm good.

I should walk away from this. With Quake, you could play death matches where you have like, you know, five, six guys in a row when you're all killing each other. And you respawn and it gets guys in a row when you're all killing each other and you respawn and it gets up to a certain amount of deaths. Oh dude, I absolutely love video games. When I moved to New York, I was like, I'm done with them.

And then six months later, I was like, where can I get a cheap Xbox 360? I need to plug back in. But yeah, I mean, Shane and I on my podcast, we're just talking about NCAA college football is coming out and we're, I think gonna play in a vacation around Playing it because it's a game that hasn't been out since 2014. How does the new Apple? What is it called again?

Vision Pro work does it work? Well, I know it works with movies, but does it have to be everything from like the app store or could you play like PlayStation on it? Yep, you play PlayStation. Yes,? Yep. You can. You can play PlayStation? Yes, there's a way I've seen people connect, which is actually, I'll find the video of it. You know how to know that environment. So if you could do that, then you're watching augmented reality PlayStation. So you're seeing a screen. Yeah, you're seeing a screen that's like fucking 30 feet wide and you're on the field.

Yeah dude, I would love to be- And you've got a remote controller just like you do with your regular game. You know, I grew up with the Miami Dolphins coach, Mike McDaniel, it'd be fun to play Madden and just be standing next to him in VR with a controller. I'm like, run the goddamn play, Mike! Dude, I fenced with Mark Zuckerberg

and we weren't anywhere near each other. He was on one side of the room, 15 feet away. You did this really? This is the best example I can show you is that like they're playing red dead redemption to the dimension on a big screen But this is the Yosemite environment that the Apple headset puts you in I love that Oh, wow, so the sky is dark cuz here's the thing red that rockstar did such an incredible job So the sky is all because here's the thing red that rock started such an incredible job insane that what I would Shit and by the way, they're seeing real big it is to your entire field of view Yeah, and you can look around and just see that's about the most you could do right now

But would that must be amazing when your entire field of view is taken up by the game and oh my god in moments like this like red Dead there's moments during like the desert or where you're in like a rainstorm up in the mountains here's here's the question yeah here's the question can you play quake on that you're like one of those people you go I don't party anymore and then like two hours later you go you got it from Peru you go I'm just gonna do a Gummer this is look how flaky it is. We go. Is that pure? I saw your reaction to those screens in there. Yes, the big 55 inch screens Yes, I have one of those at home. Yeah, I try to play Call of Duty on it

There is to there is a level of it's too big. Oh really? Yeah, what do you mean? It's too big it just gets to split up like Call of Duty in front like have you ever gotten really close to the screen to play? Have you ever played of like Call of Duty in front like have you ever gotten really close to the screen to play? Yeah, when we when we moved in to our apartment. We put the wrong TV in the bedroom and Katie plays Call of Duty and she was playing video games like this too much This is too much because the screen was like fucking on it. So we were like, oh, yeah, we switched it out I remember back in the quake playing days that guys didn't like some guys didn't like monitors that were more than 21 inches They wanted it right in front of them so that because you know you're moving your mouse, right? And I didn't know I didn't know quake was a keyboard

Yeah, mouse game mouse. That's like some real shit real shit. That's the real shit. That's the real shit That's the scary shit That's like you get really good at the movement with the key the keys and you get really good with your cursor And you know how to jump and and every time you hit the space are you jumping? Yeah That's like counter strike people used to be in the counter strike which is really fast Yeah, the thing about quick is it's not like it's superhuman speeds. You're moving at superhuman speeds with rocket launchers Oh, you can instantaneously change weapons. You rocket someone in the air and you electrocute them to death.

It's insanity. If you could do that, like that, on that kind of a screen. I don't know, but I'll tell you what. I'm looking up Quake 4 on my Steam Deck. It's one of the good ones in my hotel. It's a keyboard mouse. Like you really want a keyboard and mouse. You don't want to fuck with it.

You need really precise movement. Find like a good one with good graphics. The thing I'm trying to show you is how close some people put their face to their screen. And it does. They get right up on that. Because you can, I would imagine if you're controlling a 21 inch space. Yeah. And you are very accustomed to moving your cursor around a 21 inch space with your mouse, right? You're moving it around, you're very precise. If you stretch that bitch out to 40 inches, or 45 or 50, now you're doing this. Yeah, yeah.

That does matter, so it's all in one field of vision. You really want it like a 21 inch monitor, I think. 24 to 27 is the sweet spot. That's it, right? Yeah, that makes sense. There is. Bam, bam, bam. And then you gotta get glued onto that screen.

Because you don't wanna go back and forth the screens. It's gonna fuck with your timing. Yeah, you need something that's consistent. Yeah, you need to consider. Those guys are fucking freaks with their mouse sensitivity and the weight of the mouse. They add weights to the mouse. They take weights away.

Some of them like lighter mouses. They make mouses that are hollow to take as much weight out of them as possible. So these guys make custom gaming mice? Mice. Mice. Go find the lightweight gaming mice. They literally, like, you know what they do with race cars?

They like take everything out, anything that weighs anything. They drill holes in the door handles. They do that. Those, look at these mice. Hybrid dude. Look at that. They're like skeletons. Those ones, there's $170. Oh dude, they do that. Look at these mice. Hybrid dude. Look at that, they're like scallop. Those ones, there's $170. Oh dude, they're our money.

By the way, some of them are more than that. It's that ponage. Some of them are more than that. I love that it's called ponage. Yeah, do 495 bucks. See that one in the lower right hand side? Yeah. It says Euro gamer, Jamie.

The right hand middle. Yeah, that one. All right, there, that lightweight in the middle row. That's my style Damn dude, and so what you're hitting because I know you are you using the wheel on the top? I use the wheel to switch weapons. Sometimes I use the real I'll use the real for a rail gun. So when I know I want to hit the rail gun I just turn the wheel and it turns into the rail gun instantly

So I have keys pressed that are all set up exactly for each weapon. I feel like a cokehead talking to a crackhead Yeah, here you go right right below and you go I smoke it out of glass After it's a rock and I'm like this is nuts. Yeah, right key is all rocket launcher always always always Rocket launcher left key is fire and how long the games last like you said they're fast But like five minutes fast or like? Well, there's a timer. Okay.

So like if you're having a one-on-one death match, you'll set a timer and it'll count you down and then it'll say fight and then you're just running through the corridor, picking up weapons, trying to pick up armor and then dudes know where you're at because they can hear you because they can hear your footsteps and you're grunting as you're running. And so you're running through these corridors. It's always one on one? Always. Well, you can do multiple deathmatches where you just have a fucking melee.

Yeah. Where there's like 30 dudes just killing each other. Royal rumble. And you keep respawning and they kill you. Those are fun. Those are really fun. But the way to do it like one-on-one deathmatch style is the real way to do it Do you have a friend? Do you have any friends that if you picked quick four up you could call them and be like

We do I wouldn't do that to them. I wouldn't do that to them. You would bring that back in their life It's too immersive man. It's too good. It's too good. And if you have responsibilities, yeah Oh, no, I mean dude, I do my responsibilities And if you have responsibilities. Yeah. Oh, no, I mean, dude, I do my responsibilities to put this is kind of similar to Fortnite, right? How fast this motherfuckers move. So he's shooting the rail gun. Now the rail gun kills you instantaneously.

The rail gun is like wherever you point at. And they got you got that doom view. This is like doom. Look at this. And you're running like insanely fast. By the way, I love it's fun to watch the camera on the guy because his face is doing nothing Cuz he's so concentrated. Yeah, and you can see how he's switching weapons. Yeah, right now He's back with the rail gun. He's got a rocket launcher. He's just flying around are they shotgun boom shotgun killed that dude

Now he's got the rock. Oh, that was the rail gun. This is the rocket. That's a real gun So he rocket launch so he's just hopping around. Do they do like pro tournaments of this fuck? Yeah, they do the finals. This is the top two guys really? Yeah, so see how he keeps running back to these spots that means the weapons are respawning Yeah, so every time you snatch a weapon you have a little bit of time boom fuck Okay, all right. This is the close real guns at each other So railgun is like an instantaneous death unless you're really armored up. Did he kill that guy? It's 11 to 3, so whoever liquid RPH is.

He fucked that dude up, but that dude had to run and get some more shit. So he had to run and get health, so now he knows where he is, he's now he's chasing him. How good did you get at this? I got decent. You got decent, but you'd get on and then see some guys. No, I get fucked up. Because there's games. I get fucked up all the time.

When you play online games, you'll go against people and you're like, oh, you're a different level. You don't have the time to compete with some autistic dude who's on ADHD medication. Dialed in. Who doesn't have a job, who gets a government check, and he's just rocking people online.

It's like that South Park where they play World of Warcraft and they're villain is that guy, it's like those wrist brace on on those guys get good and their identity Wraps around their whatever their name is and they're going out fucking people up There's certain guys that you would see on a server and you're like, oh, no really? Yeah, you have a match with them. You just get killed. Yeah under the knot. Do you get that thing? We're like stop Oh, yeah, you get panicky. You're like running into walls trying to find armor. Woo.

Boom. Get blown up again. Do they have videos of them freaking out? Because that's something I like to see is like, that was sort of like, gamers stazzing and being like, what the fuck? Oh, there's a lot of those on Twitch, right? That's great.

Yeah. It's almost better than sports fans losing it, punching TVs. Well, it's so crazy and you can do it anytime you want. So you could have a match anytime you want That's too tempting online with real people anytime you want you log in you see a server you join the server boom Yeah, you're in it. There's one-on-one death matches where there's people waiting So you'll you'll look you'll find a server you're like one guy's waiting death slayer 69 is waiting

He's just like and and you spawn and they'll start talking shit And you got the keyboard you talk quick shit. Fuck you bitch. Do we have to we'll play online Rocket League or whatever Which is like car soccer. It's funny. Yeah. Yeah, what's a rage right here? Yeah, right? I rage a lot at Rocket League I I played this for years like soccer. It's soccer with cars which sounds dude. It is so addictive. We get online at night and Katie and her brother Kevin are both really good at it and I'm like I Get too intense and I'm like fuck fuck and I like missed the ball and be like Rage out, but you'll play guys that you're like oh this guy's too good Like he'll hit it in the air and then just like over you just score a goal and you're

like, what are you doing? Yeah, there's tricks people can do and quake. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like guys that get so good at it that you're like. Guys rocket jump. What is that? When you rocket jump. So if you, you are fully armored.

Yeah. So if you have 200 armor, you can point your rocket down at the ground and jump at the same times you pull the trigger and you go flying. That's genius. So you can rocket launch and rocket jump up to like a platform and then hide and then just start picking bitches apart and so everybody that walks in you got the railgun you got your cursor pointed right at the doorway and every time people run in the doorway boom. That's how it is when I watch people play Call of Duty I'm like, oh, you're just picking people off campers

People get very mad at campers. Yeah, dude, but it's a fucking look you can Snipers in a war shut the fuck up. That's the part of war Snipers and cheating Camping I'm a sniper was cheating big back when you were playing Oh, yeah, there's bots. Yeah, so they would hide they would like people would program There was different bots and one of them was an aim bot So that what the aim bot would do is you could never miss So if you you just with a regular stupid gun like that only does like you know ten points of damage every time it hits you

You get a pistol when you start sure you're minimally Arm that's why you're going around getting the guns It's very difficult to kill a fully armored guy with a pistol sure or a rifle or whatever you get So then you have to run and grab armor you have to run and grab a lot rocket launcher It's like it's like a super What are those sweepstakes the superstore sweepstakes? Oh, and you're just like going through running through trying to gather up as much shit And you know the map everybody has maps memorized

Yeah, so they know when things are spawning and some of them even have prompts to tell them, you know health spawns in 30 seconds Yeah, so every time they pass over armor armor responds And they have it all listed on the map and they're running around and the guys would have these aim bots and they could never miss So they would kill you and every time they kill you, they would be fully armored. They'd have all the weapons and then they'd know exactly where you're going to be and then they would kill you again. And they'd kill you again and kill you again. And you couldn't, every now and then they would die and they would respawn and they

would kill you again because they couldn't miss. I would love to just talk. Is this an aim bot? This is all sorts of, at the of this video, which you were talking This is called duty. Yeah, it shows you that's fast That's fast you can buy and how you subscribe to them per month. Oh, so you Give you all that shit. Oh, that's crazy. That's crazy. How do you prevent that? You don't bro call duties a lot quicker than I thought it was that's fast shit

Yeah, it gets very fast when they do multiplayer There's one game. It's almost quake like yeah, there's one there's one level where they're doing like a storage units that I watch Yeah shipment, that's what it is and it's like non-stop like you just like turn a corner you dead shoot dead like that fast But when I remember one time laser tag back in the laser tag days laser tag I camped I just sat by the charge station and every time someone recharge about We all went you know how you got in the lobby and they'd show your stats my stats were like I'm surprised I didn't get a call from the military. It was like 700 I had like 300 kills it was something wild because I was just sitting there. I was like a shitty little nine-year-old

Just be like what you want to do what you want to do the zombie experience at sandbox What is this? Sandbox is a VR game place. Okay, you go and You there's a thing called Deadwood Mansion, and then there's a new Deadwood something So you go to a place to do VR They have two zombie games. Yeah, okay you put on the headsets. Yeah, you are in a house You are in this house. That's getting stormed by zombies. Yeah, and Everyone has something you either have two pistols or you have a shotgun or you have a rifle

And then so then you're just... Listen to me, get the shotgun. Okay. The shotgun is overpowered. Sometimes they fuck up when they make a game. Yeah, they got a nerf or weapon. The shotgun's overpowered. The shotgun kills everything. The shotgun is the weapon.

And you just stand there and it... You just cha cha boom, cha cha boom. But you're in a safe room so you don't run. Down in zombies, bro. So you don't run into a table or anything. Yeah, but you run into your friends too sometimes because you're you're all together You can see each other though. Oh, so if you want to do it So literally I would see you with your armor on I would know where your space is and we would all be moving around together

And so but sometimes you bump backs into each other Yeah, but there's zombies coming to the ceiling They're storming at you and clawing at you see red in in front of you when they get you. As someone that has sworn off VR, this is the way to get me into it, which is saying VR zombies. It's so fun. Because it's got to be scary as shit. Yeah, at one time I had the number three score

for this Deadwood mansion game. Just sit there just like, I was like, what, because I got the shotgun. Did you feel it though? One of the dudes who worked there told me, get the shotgun. I was like, really? He was like, get the shotgun.

Yeah, because you show up and he goes, hey Joe Roken, get the shotgun. I said, really? He goes, yeah, get the shotgun. Yeah, because you show up and go, hey Joe Roken, get the shotgun. It's fucking overpowered. Yeah, it's fucking overpowered. It's really fun. It's a crazy game, dude. It's crazy. What the VR does to video games is it just heightens the emotional impact that it has

on you because it's sensory. It's like kind of like deprivation tanks, but like it's just putting all the senses into that. Yes. Because like I was obsessed with this game Friday the 13th that they made back on ps4 And you would either be a counselor or Jason and it's all on dude. It's fucking wild. It was why I Loved it, but what I would do is I'd smoke a fucking doing I would show a giant joint and then I turn off all the lights in my apartment and I'd play Jason and it's like It's scary because you this is the guy is Jason, but you go around and you hunt see the counselors inside

Oh my god, you're hunting counselors. Yeah, and row And that's the phone box. That's how you call the cops. He's got set in a trap. He's a decent Jason I still play it sometimes and I got it. I'm level 150. So Jason is smart. Well, you can set it's you. It's all strategy. It's you versus these counselors. Right.

But Jason can set traps. He has five bear traps and then five throwing knives. Doesn't that seem unrealistic that Jason would know how to set traps? He's a stupid mutant that drowned in the lake. He's dead. He's dead. A monster. But shouldn't be that smart.

This game fucking. You get so scared. Did you get so scared when you're like, because when you're a counselor, you're just like walking around. You're like going through drawers trying to find weapons or whatever. Yeah.

And then all of a sudden it's just like, in the background, it's slowly like, ch-ch-ch. And then when Jason shows up at, when you're at a cabin, he'll smash the window. And it's like, yeah! Yeah! And if you have headphones on, you're like, oh my God, I'm getting all gooseed up. I'm going home.

I'm playing Jason. The servers are still up. I'm fucking back on it when I get home. I have not seen it, but I have heard legend of this alien game that's on VR that's supposed to be insane, like alien. Like you get a first movie. Oh, oh, alien Ridley Scott. Yeah, there's an alien. I just watched this is true. Like a like you get a first movie. Oh, oh alien Ridley Scott There's an alien. I just watch this is true. The I

Want I want to I want to make sure this is true because someone told me it's a terrifying game that you can play on VR That's based on the first alien I just went to it. I told me this they told me this at least a year ago. Maybe more that uh Probably more than a year ago. Do you think we see in the future, do you think we see things like heart attacks and shit from VR as they're already happening? Like people getting so scared that it hurts them in real life. Well I think if you're really vulnerable and your heart gets jacked up to like 190 beats

a minute, especially if you have one of those guys on those omnidirectional Treadmills they have now. Oh really dude. They have a surface It's a new surface that it's a contained surface like a contained space and whatever direction you walk in it moves Oh, so it does like the topography of like no no no it just stays flat But every you can go left and right and it goes left and right and it goes you back up it backs up with you you stay in the same spot but you're walking around and it's somehow or another registers through the headset into the flooring which direction you're going and it compensates for that they're gonna think we're such idiots in the future when they're like

you just holding a controller and playing. But do you know what kind of good shape you would get in? Disney updated this. It's not available yet, but they've made one that's now, they've shown it this year. Here's what you do. You put ankle weights on and you put a weighted vest on. And then you play one of these gun games that's like really intensive. And you get that and you get,

and you're walking around with all that weight on. Bro, that's a fucking work. Also what they should do is, you know, we got those trillions of dollars going around in our military. The military probably has something like this developed. 100%. They're with Boston Dynamics.

Bro, they're probably laughing at this. Yeah, they go, you wanna see our robot take down a fucking village in Columbia? The alien game I found, if this is the correct one is Like someone made the actual alien game and they made like a VR Port of it if you will select they've sort of hacked it so that it works in VR Oh, really? That's the official. I think that must be it.

But dude, alien. But what I heard is it's fucking terrifying. Yeah, cuz you can get scared as shit. I mean, I got scared as shit at that Jason game and I knew what was going on. But that one movie was scary-er because there was only one alien that was smart. It was great.

They kind of fucked that up in the second one because there was a bunch of them and they were kind of easy to kill. What happened? And they also just threw it in. They were like, and we're on the ship, we're on this planet, here you go. There's a ton of them.

I never bought the second one. It's a great movie. I love it. I'll. I never bought the second one It's a great movie. I'll buy itself Do you watch the end? It's a great movie, but it's not the same thing as the first movie that first one was smart as fuck Yeah, it was smart and clever to wait for people and hide it like it knew how to get around you It knew how to like attack you when you weren't looking and the second one there and a little mouth Yeah, it was the little mouth in the second one where it came out. Oh, they always come out right here They're gonna go on it's like a mouth and it gets you right in the head and sucks your brains out Did you like Prometheus? Yes. I loved it. I just watched it. I did I loved it

I love the idea. I had a problem with I loved the idea at a problem with the ending because she escapes on this the idea at a problem with the ending because she escapes on this spoiler. She escapes on this on the spacecraft of the architects like the big humans that made us. Yeah. And she's going back to their world like that. She sets the course to be like, nah, fuck this. I'm going to go where these people are from that made us and made the the animorph made the made the alien. Yeah. Just leaves you just leaves you high and dry. We're like, where'd you go? Show me that shit. I want to see what planet all these architects are living on. The last one was really good. Alien three. What was no the last three? What was the covenant? Covenant was good. Really?

You know who's in that? Jesse Smollett. Really? Damn when he pops up and stuff you're like, oh, hey like Mighty Ducks. it was good. Really? You know who's in that? Jesse Smollett. Really? Damn, when he pops up and stuff, you're like, oh, hey, like Mighty Ducks? It was on like during Christmas and it was just on in my hotel and I was like, hey, Jesse Smollett. That's the kind of mistake that's tough to forget. Well, it's getting caught in such a major lie. Such a sociopathic situation.

But also- Just doing something for attention that's so and You get turned on by the people that were helping you I helped them in he's a fucking dick and you're like oh my god That's what's wild is dude if I got it's also like the way it was structured to come in with the new still on his neck Like what yeah, dude, it's like oh no, it's like a- Hold on a subway sandwich. You know what it's like? It's like a murder mystery dinners,

you know where they have to oversell it with the like, oh the knife is stealing me! But isn't that crazy that there's people out there that will do literally anything? Yeah, cause they're not in therapy. They don't understand why they're not in therapy if they don't have they don't understand They don't understand why they're reaching out for this, but don't you think people that are that broken like it's not that simple Hmm, that's so no not at all. I think what it is is it's it's like

You know when there's like an infection because something's embedded in you Yes, but it's not the thing that's embedded in you that's causing the problem as much as it is the part of it that's infected and now it's got a different thing. Right. That's what that is, where it's like something happened to them and instead of them solving it and pulling that out, that splinter that got infected, the infection built on it and now you're dealing with six things on top of the actual problem. All right, that's my guess.

But that's what it feels like. Because I've seen people go through bad shit and correct it and be okay. And I've seen people go through kind of bad shit and then it just snowballed. There's also this thing that people do when they do things like that where they recognize that a certain amount of bullshit

is tolerable. Yeah. A certain amount of you exaggerating and experience and saying that you were threatened, a certain amount of that seems to be tolerated. You don't want to question because then it appears that you're insensitive and you go well you know and then there were so many people that stood up for that guy and like made these tweets about... We need your reaction. Yeah but it's also like we don't have any information you don't

have any information you're acting on this but the story seems so implausible but nobody wanted to say it nobody wanted to say I think he made that up I immediately thought of when that happened and like the reaction a couple weeks later I immediately thought of Ben Stiller in the cable guy when they're doing like the Menendez brothers spoof and they do the phone call and he goes I don't know who it was, but he was Asian And they just like you can they're clearly lying on the phone call and you're like that's kind of how that felt to me Where you're like dude

You work in the arts. you should know how to tell a better story. Your storytelling is dog shit. Yeah. So that's like there, there is spoofing the minute is like they clearly killed their parents, but that was their excuse Yeah, and you're like it wins someone like him who's been a child actor This guy's been a child actor his whole life, right and they know how the roller coaster goes They know they're on fire. They're in mighty ducks. They're in fucking alien covenant. You know what I mean? Yeah, and then they're on a big show. They're on a big fucking show. And then it starts, the tank starts running out.

Where you're like, hey, the show's running out and we're not paying you as much as you think you need to get paid, you get desperate. And you start being like, well, what can I do to get, to stay up there? What's gonna keep me, how do I rocket launch? Am I wearing enough armor to jump and rocket launch myself back up? And he fucked up.

And he just is like, it was a, it was a desperate move. A publicity move. Yeah. Being like, if this works, I am the victim. Everyone loves a victim. Right. And it'll just keep being that. But then you get fucking caught, dude.

Hilarious. It's just funny. It's just the funniest shit in the world. Just go like, what's up? Like that call when they do ran as easy, did this awesome show in Edinburgh at fringe in 2019 when I was there. And he did an hour about what it was like being busted, lying about 9-11. Right.

Dude, the show gave me anxiety. Because he did it beautifully. He did it beautifully. He was, it was funny. It started funny. He was explaining how he was famous. It was the league. It was the last season.

And he goes into the, and he tells you about the call from the New York Times where the guy goes, I wanna talk about 9-11. And Rayn Azzi was like, dude, he's the way he, even telling you. The way he describes it, you're like, oh, fuck. But he made it funny. And he made it into a thing of like, I fucked up.

It was a great hour. I hope he taped that. I don't know if you ever taped that, but I mean that feeling of like Smollett getting caught when that first thing where they go, they're not buying it. And he's like, fuck. I think he's maintained that he told the truth through the entire time.

How's any. Yeah, I think he I think he. Did he ever say, I don't know. This is where I feel bad for actors because his comedians. We can immediately go like, I'm a fucking idiot. Like you, we can say we're wrong, much easier than actors. Right. Because actors have that. And and you know you've been around them. They have that like it's like being around the queen. There's like little rules that you can't do.

Or like I can't bust your balls because you'll take it seriously. Yes. That's just how the entertainment business is. Like musicians act different than actors and actors act different than comedians. And there's just all this stuff that I don't think as an actor he can go like Fuck man. I was desperate. You don't know you don't know when you're gonna get on your next show You don't know you get your next gig if he would have just done one of those He probably need to have to admit that it was true That's what I mean

I don't think he wants to admit that it was true and now he's stuck in that prison forever And now he's stuck in that thing where you're like well, so you're saying something that we all That the guys involved said that you know it's wild though I guarantee you that some people believe him still like there's people that believe cause me to the end that is What a ride or die when that evidence comes out. It's like women that love serial killers You're like you can just get there, huh? It's like thinking that that work is not going to turn on you after it did three. Yeah.

After it killed three people and you're like, I bet, you know, my pool is a little bit bigger. And then there's like the, the female vampire helper, like Ghislaine Maxwell is like the female that there is a level of evil on that whole Galeon Maxwell Epstein that's why it's such a joke right now is because it's so bad they're like this fucking Epstein Island and you're like oh he is the worst of the worst it's like the most disgusting shit but the it's what kind of it comes back to what we're talking about with billionaires

It's like if you got that evil person in your ear right there You're doing some dark shit looks great Galeigh Maxwell looks great as she runs Florida prison half marathon Does yoga and Pilates ahead of March appeal who reads that and goes good good Yeah, I don't she's running Who reads that and goes, good, good. Let her out. I'm glad. I'm glad. I'm glad. I don't think she's running. There's got to be people, her life is threatened on a level that we'll never understand.

Bro, there is no chance she stays alive if they let her out. No. Because the people that are... She's going to be writing a book, you know? Oh. If she writes a book? There's already a manuscript. There's already like...

Do you think that that's why she's in prison? Yeah, it's already a manuscript. There's already like. Do you think that that's why she's in prison? Yeah, it's listen to this. What if she goes to prison to write a book? Because they say the only way that this information is going to get out is if we have you locked, we have you locked up. Yeah. We protect you and you write a book. Dude, her information of Rolodex, of the things that have happened, can destroy people that

are as powerful as our top businesses. Like, it will topple kings. Like she has information on people. Of course they're going to lock her up. Isn't that wild? Yeah, let her live in the villages in Florida. Yeah. She's fucking, this woman has, she has a dangerous amount of knowledge.

And she's probably known the clock's ticking. Yeah. Release a court document, expect well over 100 people connected to Epstein, which is just like... Hold up. What's the full... She's serving 20 years in prison for luring young women, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Share her thoughts, be an attorney, ahead of the release of court documents expected

to name well over 100 people connected with Epstein. Maxwell's lawyer, Arthur Adala Adala said that New York Nations Mario Cuomo uh... none of them are more quis-cromo right? It's Cuomo. I think it's the younger one I don't know yeah the guy who used to be on CNN. News Nations Cuomo that Maxwell has nothing to say about the impending release of names but that the former Socialite takes issue with the fact that the only person facing consequences over the rampant sex trafficking of young girls is a woman

I don't think she has anything to talk about except where she is maybe that if you look at this crime this overall crime It's all about men abusing women for a long period of time and it's only one person in jail a woman Absolutely genius. What a genius defense. Yeah. Her going like this. So I guess it's a boys club when everyone's getting abused but in court it's only a woman. And you're like, well the other guy got murdered. Like Epstein got murdered in jail.

Maybe she should tell us who else is involved and we'll lock them up too. Yeah. We'll throw some boy names out. But how weird is it that no one gets named? Well that's what I mean with she's on a- That's how you know how much power is involved is involved. She's on a level of danger that they're like, she's like, that's what we need to really get in our heads. There's still an I can kill you in front of everybody and hide it in the news thing going on. What did Putin just do? Yeah. Putin just

killed the journalist and was like, what are you gonna do and we're like Though that no subways are real nice Is that guy's name? No, voli. Yeah, I always fuck it up. I seemed to be Not like the sweetest of dudes either right everyone's dirty everyone's a human being that's the whole point is like there's danger on Yeah, like you spoke at me I think you just spoke out against putin the crazy one that I'm still obsessed with is the dude that tried to overthrow Putin do you remember that we're moving in with an army and then let's get to this guy for alex I Russian yeah Alexa Navalny was a Russian

opposition leader lawyer anti-corruption activists and political prisoner he organized anti-government demonstrations and ran for office to advocate reforms against corruption in Russia and against President Vladimir Putin and his government. So what was the controversy about him though, his views? He's against Putin? No, no, no, but there were some other ones. There were some other ones like... He's a Cosby believer.

He's like, I think Bill Cosby got a bad rep. He had some questionable things that I was reading. But the other dude like led an army and they were like, hey, he's marching on Moscow. And then he went, just kidding. No, I'm not. And then a month later they're like his plane crash and you're like, why are you getting into plane? You went against Putin and you're gonna fly around in Russia

You are you on your fucking mind the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah, I was knowing around him going like you can't John Madden this you can't take a bus We can't we can protect the boss Thinking the Putin wouldn't kill you When you pulled up to Moscow He like showed up in a tank Okay The tank you like showed up in a tank before he died, okay Who he was I mean, I don't know what so he's basically an anti-Putin activist

Yeah, he's poisoned by an opposition figure anti-corruption activist was unlawfully detained has now been in prison for 11 years and six months He's still in prison suffers continual ill treatment including constant surveillance and psychological pressure He must be freed immediately and unconditionally so he died in prison. Yeah, and What was there? What was the controversy about him? Someone was saying something about his nationalist views It could be see just see if you can find something there someone someone was saying terrible things Well, but I mean that guy dies you always wonder like that is something that they would do yeah You know they say oh, he remember when he got that guy lit Venenco with the In England with the sushi yeah, where they just reached down or like your dad it plutonium They put plutonium in the guy's sushi and And there was like, he was like an ex,

he was like a rogue KGB agent. And they were like, we'll see, but dude, you think they're bad? What do you think we do? Yeah, we do that too. What do you think we do? We do shit that we're like, the CIA's been cooking up stuff that like,

even Russians go like, that's pretty fucking good. Like, do you ever think they like wink at each other? Like, you're fucking nuts. And he's you're fucking not we fucking did this whole thing we flew planes into our towers and they're like you guys don't give a fuck like if there's an open conversation about it just fuck around not a western liberal democrat there's a darker side to him some say that's such a fucking they're pushing that out there to be like hey Is controversial views on Muslims in the caucus?

Georgians and Central Asian Asian migrants in Russia Immigrants from Central Asia bring in drugs to Russia Navalny said in an interview with 2012 defending what he described as a realist Visa requirement for wonderful people from Tajikistan and Uzbekistan. While he was reflected upon some of these past remarks, they frequently resurfaced, causing some to question if Navalny is what many in the Western world think he is. Navalny's controversial statements stem from his political origins in the nationalist movement, according to McGinn. There will be a feel-good A24 movie about this guy in two years.

He used to attend the Russian march, a very far-right nationalist group generally behind the slogan, Russia for ethnic Russians. Anybody who expects Navalny to be an ideal Western liberal Democrat has been mistaken. She tells Euro news. His ultra-nationalistic sentiment was prominent in a video dating back some 17 years filled with xenophobic comments. Do you think this is like his getting like when comics, when they bring up old clips of comics on podcasts?

Like he was like, ah, that was 12 years ago. I was crazy. So this is what he was saying. He said, everything in our way should be carefully But decisively removed through deportation The volume he said in a video dressed as a dentist comparing immigrants to dental cavities. He's dressed up He was doing costume work Like this, he's like, I know we're having fun here, but really we've got to get rid of immigrants. Maybe it was a sketch

But really, we've got to get rid of immigrants. Maybe it was a sketch. Yeah, it's just doing an SNL sketch. It's like, life from Moscow, it's political prisoner. Maybe someone said, you know, Navalny, the best way to get this information out is human. Everyone. I want you to be over the top against the immigrants, over the top, like they're fucking cavities.

Pull out. And I am the dentist. Navalny, take care of cavities for you am the dentist the only thing I guess these for you We'll call it laughing gas It's all sketches Don like This dude and to do this they really did a movie already already made a documentary about him two years ago Oh, they had it. What is the documentary say? I have no idea. Does it say it is it all a pro thing? Yeah I have no idea. Does it say, is it all a pro thing? CNN, HBO, the Putin thing.

Yeah, HBO and CNN. Yeah, see, anybody that's in opposition to Putin has to be good, you know, it's the enemy of our enemy is my friend. Yeah. Yeah, that's a, that's a controversial take. This guy was just gossiping. This guy's like, did you hear what Putin did?

And then the other guy was like, I got tanks, bro. We're fucking pulling up to Moscow. And he thought it was gonna be okay. Thought it was fine. And by the way, it was in the news a lot, and then it was completely gone, which you're like... Of course he did it. Like everybody knows he did it.

They just sucked the air out of the room. But Putin's always like, what are you guys doing? Yeah, that's my favorite. Why are you always going after me? What are you guys doing? We haven't invaded anybody. Oliver Stone interview and the Tucker interview. He really loves to be like, well, you guys are so great.

You know when you fight with your girl and she like, like she'll bring up something you did and you get defensive. So you just go like, yeah, but what's up with you fucking? You do stuff. Totally. You're a bitch sometimes. Fuck. God damn it. I got nothing. I got nothing. Ah! Totally. You're a bitch sometimes. What the fuck, bitch? God damn it, I got nothing. I got nothing.

I'm sorry. Ah! Yeah. That's true, but he's got a point. I mean, dude, he is a... Dude, you're a lie, shit. Do you remember the lady that wrote him the poem when he invaded the Ukraine?

She wrote him a poem? This, like, Hollywood actress did a thing that was like, yeah, dude. No way You never saw this dude this shit is so funny This is the most i'm in LA bubble. Oh my god. I have to see this. I have to see this and I don't want I'm so sorry that I was not your mother If I was your mother you would have been so loved,

held in the arms of joyous light. Never would the stories plight the world, unfurled before our eyes, a pure demise of nations, sitting peaceful under a night sky. If I was your mother, the world would have been warm. So much laughter and joy and nothing would harm. I can't imagine the stain, the soul stealing pain that the little boy you must have seen and believed

and the formulation of thought quickly taught. This is so self gratuitous. But also, yeah, lady, just get to the punch. It's too many superfluous words. It's a world salad. It's quite superfluous. It's a word salad, lady. It's nonsense. But by theous words This is a world it's a word salad lady It's nonsense, but by the way, do you know that she's a wild one though? Yeah, but you also know that Vladimir Putin was given up

You know he's given up by his mother for a dog like oh really? He is like a horrible relationship his mother He was like he was given up for adoption and the people and they like started training him as a like a young Young he got into like as a soldier. Yeah, he's like a super soldier He was like built for this shit So this woman in a condo in Santa Monica going I would hug you and I would feel the plight of the world on my shoulders He goes lady. I was left for dead. Yeah, and you would be dead as well. You would not be my mother. I would kill you Putin is so scary that when he put on hockey equipment and played against the Russian team

They get they let him score like six goals. It was some Kim Jong-un shit 100% they're like, oh, whoa Look at him go. He's a legit black belt in Judo though. Is he? Does he just, he does Sambo and Judo? I do not know if he does Sambo as well. But that guy can fucking. But he definitely does Judo. He's a legit black belt. Really?

Like he's an older guy, but by the way he moves and the things he does, he does everything absolutely correct. And I'm not a Judo expert. But also, he's... But I know how these throws look when I see judo experts do I'm gonna this isn't this isn't the Steven Segal videos. He's just doing like the well No, that's not see like right there. That's a beautiful hip toss that is a beautiful hip toss the way he did that the way look at this smoothness Man, that's legit. That's legit. Do you think he's a legit judo black belt?

Do you think war is? He's a legit Judo black belt. So that guy is definitely not helping at all. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, Jamie. The whole time that guy's like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. This is how these things are trained. No, I know, I'm just saying, but also. But guys do resist too,

but this is just an execution of technique. Yeah. Just the fact that he can do that. That is very, like if I showed you how to do that, it would take you a long time before you could do it that smoothly. Now I'm very dumb when it comes to both Judo, but also, more importantly, I'm very dumb when it comes to both judo, but also more importantly, I'm very stupid when it comes to politics.

Here's my question. Jamie, you're questioning this? Is that what you're doing? No, I'm not questioning it. I'm just saying if you're the guy that's going with Putin, you're definitely gonna be the best dance partner of all time. Yes, but you're gonna lean into it.

You're selling the moves. You're wrestling. I've literally had this done to me. Kayfabe, a little. Sort of. Yeah, you're wrestling. This is... I've literally had this done to me. K-Fabe. And it's sort of. It's actually just drilling. But I've had this done to me by people who are good at judo and it's shocking how easy they can throw you around.

Yeah, because like when he kicks his feet out. All he's doing is it seems a lot harder than it is. You're just getting the guy, you're bouncing together, you're timing the bounce and you're sweeping him and pulling at the same time and you just go flying. Yeah, it's like when you were little and you'd be walking in front of one of your friends and they'd kick your foot The other one and you go like you go fucking flying. Fuck you I think wars should just be our leaders versus theirs. Oh, he would win I that's what I mean like maybe that would change the way we elect our president or like who we got

Who can we roll? Wow? That would change the way we elect our president. We're like, who we got? Who can we roll with? Wow, we would change. Probably it would be UFC champions. Yeah, John Jones, president of John Jones in 2024. And we'd just be dominating the world. Yeah, we'd make Alex Pajeda an official US citizen immediately. Dude, immigration would change so fast.

Francis and Gatto, US citizen. Here you go. I would love to have you, sir. Yeah, full US citizenship. Raise your right I would love to have you, sir. Yeah, full US citizenship. Raise your right hand. We fucking love you, bro. Brazilian population shot through the roof of the United States.

If that would be if there was one guy, it would either be John Jones or Francis and God. There'd be the one person. I mean, we don't know until they do it, until they do the dance. But you know what? Another country would probably be smart and they go, like, hey, Francis, how about we give you everything? You're our king. You're everything. And then you're just we have the dance. But you know what another country would probably be smart and they go like hey Francis how about we give you everything you're our king you're everything and then you're just we have the best now we have the best

military in the world one guy military but we still have bones Jones yeah oh man can you imagine that and then that's we got to get Jones on steroids like every we got to drop the usada right away dude I'm telling you right now you saw it is gone and they put him in like a Weapon X program, or they're like, how can we? Usada's gone, Brock Lesnar returns. Oh my God! Oh my God, dude.

Brock Lesnar returns, he's 350 pounds at 49 years old. Yeah, with 4% body fat. Just fucking trash. And you just hear the- Just like a juggernaut. And you hear that WWE music here, it's like, bannah! Yeah. And you just hear, that was Romans, butnaut and you hear that WWE music here. It's like, yeah, just hear that was Romans, but everyone's getting smashed. Yeah. You trapped in the cage with a superhuman.

But that's what I mean. That was like, you know, we do that. How many lives are you saving? How many trillions of dollars are you saving? We don't need missiles and fucking, you know, yeah, we get away from the American military industrial complex and just have a badass president And then no one talked shit about the president you think CNN or Fox News gonna run their mouth about a guy who's like By the way, I'm doing a press briefing

He's just doing he's just doing his he's like, oh, yeah, huh? What about taxes he goes I think you need to shut the fuck up. That's what I think you need to do Yeah, dude cuz Putin is like He's the only badass you see that guy you go. He's killed people Well, I think Netanyahu has as well Netanyahu was like a serious like operative. Yeah, and the Israeli army What was Netanyahu's military background? It's like it's actually very impressive. Well, I hear about the stuff that he's done I mean, yeah in Israel everyone serves. So it's not a question of if he did or not Yeah, but I think he was like a special forces guy,

their version of whatever the Navy SEALs are. Also, the idea is always funny to me of running up on someone that's like trained to be a badass, and you think they're an old man, and it's taken. It's the whole idea of taken. But I just watched. Here it is, after graduating from high school in 67 net and yahoo Returned to Israel to enlist in the Israeli defense forces

He trained as a combat soldier and served for five years in a special forces unit of the IDF. Yeah, that guy's he's Run up on him run up on BB They'll kill you with a pencil. Yeah, he'll he'll you won't even know what happened Your arm will be broken and you'll be like I didn't even reach for him the crazy thing about this is really thing is before October 7th There was thousands of people in the streets protesting against him Thousands for like months. Oh, yeah, because he was trying to expand the powers of government. Yeah Well, he's a guy where he's like, you know, you look at people that have been through war and that kind of shit

They're just like they're calloused to it if I was your mother I would have taken you in a joyous bathing light of I would have had you suckle on my teeth until you were 12 years old The Maudrey earth and spirits of the sky Adding words I would bathe you in crystals. I love watching videos of guys, of older guys. Like Don Fry was one of my favorite guys when I was young to watching like Pride and shit. And then he's like just a true Arizona badass. So you see him now as the old man and you're like,

you could still fuck shit up. But recently retired, I was watching an interview with Donald Soroni, who I love. He's one of my favorite fighters. I love Donald. I'm from Colorado and he's just like. He's a great dude too. He's just a fun guy.

He's like a badass. All the story, the story he told on here about cave diving gave me legitimate anxiety. Listening to that, I was too high. And he was talking about being lost and I was like, fuck. Bro, that story was fucking insane. He was like lost and could only get back through pure darkness underwater. He's like a true American badass.

And he was on this podcast talking about how he got like this idiot like ran up on him and he just head kicked him and was fucking done. And he was explaining like the situation. He was on a dock. Yeah, they were at a lake. And I was watching that when I was flying to Austin and I was like I found my genre of my favorite thing which are people fucking around with older badasses and finding out. But this wasn't even he was older.

But I mean like. Active. Serone is a bad at like an old now don't run up on the guy. Don't run up on him any time in his life. Ever. But this was like years ago. This was when he was active in the UFC. Yeah.

Yeah. He was active. that's what a dumb thing these guys that think that they can you can beat a trained fighter They didn't know he's a train fire. They're just douchebags. Well, guess what they got head kicked back to the wrong guy I mean imagine that's your opening move to so much stain. Do you have in this guy's ability? But how much athleticism yeah, I can barely clip my toenails now this guy's starting with gonna head kick him? How much athleticism? I can barely clip my toenails now. This guy's starting with a head kick. He's like, bam! And he's like, bam! That's literally what he does for a living. Yeah, dude, he was a guy, man, like,

you grow up in Colorado and you go to like the Western Stock Show or whatever, and I was just like, I'm just like a pussy suburban kid. But you see these like Eastern Colorado kids, or these kids that are from like the real front range and you're like, oh, you're a badass. This is how the land got settled. He has this one KO in the UFC, this one combination where he lands on this dude where it's like

the matrix. He like, and he's just touched him. He punches him up, punches him down, face kicks him, follows up. And the way he did it was, Rick, I forget the fighter's name, that he did it too. Rick Story. We went to a UFC. Is that it? Yep. Yeah.

So watch this, hold on, let me do it from the beginning. We'll get this combination. Jab to the body, left hand, ducks down, head kick. That's a full meal. How are you out of your fucking mind? That's a full meal. How are you out of your fucking mind? It's so cool.

It's so cool you could do that in real life. You are in your fucking mind. I went to a UFC event at Barclays because Steve Aimeeotich was on Billions. Oh nice. And so, and Steve has the man. He's like the coolest fucking guy that I've ever met. And his manager was like, oh, I can get you tickets to the fight that's at Barclay. Steve wasn't on it, but Seroni was.

And I'm a huge Seroni guy. And I went with Louis J. Gomez and we sat there and I got so excited when Donald Seroni knocked the dude out that Louis was like, as a friend, it bothers me how much you like this guy. He's like, stop it. It's like a friend calling and I was like, it's like you want him to be your dad.

And I'm like, no, fuck that. He's just like the coolest when you're like, that guy's so fucking cool. But Lewis can't help himself. I love that, dude. Lewis, the first event we ever went to, the first live UFC event I ever went to was Jones Sonan in Jersey.

It was like, I don't think Jones had the title yet, or maybe he did the light heavyweight, but it was John Jones, Chail Sonzone and and we're in the crowd and I've been to boxing matches and you feel that John had the light Hey boy title back then. Yeah, and he was just shooting on I mean he beat the fuck yeah He beat him up so bad. He broke his own toe Yeah shooting on pushed off so hard off the ground while he was smashing him that you could see it in the video Where it turns over yeah, it's like an overhead shot where they see where it turns over. Yeah. I mean he just beat the fuck out of him and here's the thing he didn't even

know it was broken until he was talking to me. Yeah in the ring. Yeah. You look down. I remember that because I was in the arena. You look down and you're like I think your toes broken and he was like he hopped over to you. Bro that's how much he wanted to fuck Chale sun and up. That's crazy. He just wanted to fuck him up and teach him that you do not belong in here with me. I mean, dude, Bones Jones is just unbelievable. He's a monster. He's a monster.

And the thing is, greatest light heavyweight of all time without question. There's no second, there's no second place. Dude, those old Nike. John Jones is number one for sure. Those old Nike like with the open slit on the sides, he can knee you. Yeah, dude, that was wild. So we were there. And here's the thing, man, if he didn't get busted all those times and all the things

that he did, he would have had Nike sponsorships. I mean, he already had one. He had one lined up. He would be the Jordan of fighting. Yeah. He would just be like- That's how talented that guy is. Yeah, you're just like, no, it's the greatest and you can't even argue it. You can argue who comes close to him.

Yeah. But we're at that fight and we're watching these guys get chippy. These like Jersey Italian guys are just fucking yelling at this guy. And it's like a dude, you know, eight mile style, like a white guy being like, yo, what's up with the disrespect? And Lewis just so casually goes, she's gonna be a fight. She pull your phone out out those guys are gonna fight and I was like not or not There's John or whatever and then it just they just start fighting in the crowd and I was like damn Lewis You really felt that he like felt it in the senses. He's like, yeah, it's about to go down Is that some fights? Yeah, I love it. He's got some crazy stories He's told on when I've done podcasts with him about like growing up

He had a fucking tough life. That's why I always say people with Lewis I go if you had that tough of a life, there's no way you'd end up how good he's done All of us would have failed right with all the hard shit because sometimes you talk to people and you're impressed by What they've responded to in life, right? You're like there's no way I could have responded to that. Like Vladimir Putin, he's an evil guy, he's done evil shit, but you read about his childhood, that's why that ladies poem is so funny. And you're like, this guy was literally thrown in a ditch basically, and then came up and is now the most powerful man outside of the United States. That's a

fucking drive. That's a drive. That's a response that I do not have. You don't get that drive if you're the son of the king That's exactly yeah If you're a mom, you know if you're if you're like given everything you don't have that in you No, we are like everyone left me. He was like I changed rules. I run it again. That was my favorite thing as he goes I am no longer president prime minister. guess what prime minister has more power than president And then after a while he goes I'm just president again

The guy is just changing shit in a way that everyone around him is going like badasses Russian badasses around we're going like Hey, it's a good one. I like that whether you have to be agreeable his yes, man Yeah, it's got to be a terrifying thing. Well, he's got it locked in as long as you play by the rules Seems like he lets you live Who do you think kiss? That's exactly it. There he goes. I might live. Who do you think? Has the more ass-kissers around them Putin or Kim Jong-un Kim Jong-un? Yeah, that's like crazy I bet Putin Putin's intelligent. I bet Putin requires people to have differing Perspectives challenge so that he can take into consideration and I bet he's very strategic about what they do and why they do it

I think Kim Jong-un like that's well. He's a rich you want to talk about a prince's king's son Exactly exactly like there's the comparison, but the difference is like the people of Russia are doing way better than the people of North Korea. Well, people from North Korea, they like find out about stuff on the outside, like when they get out and they're like, what the fuck, dude? I'd be so mad if you're in North Korea and you get out and you go like, the fuck? That's a whole country like an architect. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. They're just like, nah, you don't even get info from the outside. the fuck that's a whole country like an architect yeah yeah yeah there's like no

you don't even get info from the outside you get nothing and when dear leader dies you have to cry for like months came out and put people in jail that didn't cry hard enough if I got arrested my grandmother passed and I loved her if they were doing that and I didn't get arrested back to those deal with shit

I'm gonna go in word about it I cry when I'm alone yeah fuck alone I had to watch iron claw that wrestling movie last night my hotel room they jar something loose so look at this is that's a public cry all right listen can we also admit though when Kim Jong-il died right of them and they did this it is hilarious that you're that powerful that you're like cry harder mother fucker that everybody has to cry yeah this is where communism leads kids all you fucking idiots out there that think they just no one's ever done it right there's only one way to do

it yes someone has to enforce the rules yeah that person is always the military and they have power over everything Jamie's pointing this guy out you. You think he's gone? This guy in the middle goes like, oh fuck I didn't know what camera was there! I didn't know what fucking camera was there! That guy's probably tortured right now. Yeah. That guy's just... Still being whipped. Yeah. Kim Jong-un, did he have his uncle killed? Yeah. Kim Jong-un was just like when Il died? Yeah, some people are trying to move in on the territory. It's like, uh-uh I'm the prince bitch. But also so the difference between a self-made man and a prince is that Prince has that like let them die Like they have that energy would I go my uncle has ran up on like Vladimir Putin would be like

Yeah, I am very disappointed that you would not think that I would take care of you He'd be like, right. We're in, you know, he's like, you are dead. You are dead to me. You're like that Prince energy. And now the sun and the stars have spoken and you have died. Dennis Rodman wants you to die. Dennis Rodman, would you like to kill my uncle?

Thumbs up or down. He's like, oh, imagine you let Dennis Rodman. Hey, what's up man? When he's over there and he's hammered in that documentary, he's like, oh, man, you rule. When he sings him Happy Birthday, Wilde, Big J showing me that documentary, like rubbing his hands together. Imagine being friends with a dictator of a country

where the people are starving, and you're getting drunk with that guy and playing basketball and just hanging out. And then you, and then like, yeah, and then you walk outside. Oh, there it is. Is he saying? They're clapping off. Do the NBA players that are there for the fat check?

Wow. You know what though? How many times have we, how many times have we done gigs that have killed our soul? That one's got to feel weird. Now do you have to go like this? do you have to lose to the North Korean? It's just going like this, Joe. Just standing there after you were a four-time All-Star in the NBA, and you're like, I don't know how they could lose. Here's the question.

Do they have to lose? Not possible. I mean, are they allowed to really play? Probably not. Probably. It seems like there's no competition here. This is insane to watch. I would say they give them as much pushback

Is that guy in the judo class did against Putin? Shut up Jamie that guy's good A really short guy shoot a ball from very far away You're a hater. No that guy's the best. Jamie's like no I would key up on that guy and make his life. I look like an all-star in this. Yeah so they let go. Oh they let the Koreans get close. Is that what happened? I would guess they would want this to be like Harlem Globe Chiders game where they won these players that they know to just beat the shit out of

their. Yo they let Rob and play with lip rings. Yeah, this can't be real dude that story when he Left in the last dance when they're talking about that bowls team I think are they don't know who's in charge of it, but yeah, I think they're making a movie about this whole day or two Oh in in poin Yang I know Rodman going to Vegas. Oh oh it's oh dude like Billy I think Billy Corgan talked about in this podcast oh that's nuts hmm yeah it's yeah I think he did too now you brought that up he he just asked Phil Jackson he's like I'm gonna go to Vegas Phil Jackson's like please let it be two days and it was

like four there's on a run in the season he's like I'm gonna go to Vegas and get fucked up I'm hanging out with Carmen Electra and so Jackson's like Being that good at something where they bend the rules for you. Yeah, they go like fuck dude. All right, just go ahead Just come back, please He's like I might not miss any games. I think he did right did he miss games Jamie? The movie right now is in production it's called 48 hours in Vegas, but it's been I think he did, right? Did he miss games, Jamie? I'm trying to remember. The movie right now is in production. It's called 48 Hours in Vegas,

but it's been in production for three years. But that's not what I think he took. I think he took like four days. It was during the finals. The finals! It was during the finals. Oh my God, this is the same person! They usually maybe have three days off,

but I think he took for two days. What? They had to go get them, as I remember. They like Michael Jordan, Phil Jackson, Sky Pippen all got on a plane, and we're like, you gotta come back. We have a game tomorrow. You're our leading rebounder.

Oh my God, that is so insane. And he's just been partying for days. Dude, it's like the hangover meets a space jam. We're like showing up, and you're like, hey, we got the biggest game of our life, and you're here in Vegas? Vegas. Vegas. Did you ever see where?

What productions off a little bit, I guess the Jonathan majors who's had some problems this year. He was oh he was playing Robin Did you ever see when he was on celebrity rehab? Yeah, it was horrible. It was hilarious celebrity rehab Is like he got in shape. Oh, he does like run the treadmill Water I was thinking his party a little too much I think celebrity rehab the one I'm thinking of is the first season where you saw people melt and down in ways that you're like What the fuck? Oh, well first of all, it's the worst thing you could ever do to someone who's in the middle of recovery Yeah, it's to broadcast them and all their insecurities to the world Yeah, have people shit on each other and insult each other.

Dr. What? Dr. Drew hosted that show and it led to one of my favorite stand hope bits where he said, Dr. Drew is to science. I forget what it was, but he was like talking about. He's like, that'd be like being an OBGYN that only specializes in hairless,

stinkless, Norwegian pussy. Like the way that Stan hope described it. hairless, stinkless Norwegian pussy. Like the way that Stan hope described it, I was like, it's so funny. I fucking love that. Yeah. Yeah. But celebrity rehab, you just saw people be like, Oh, here's your favorite guy. And he's super broken. Yeah.

He's fucking crazy. And it gives you a window into like the dark side of Hollywood. Will you see them be like, I don't keep that money. That money doesn't keep coming in. That's like the Jesse Smollett thing where Hollywood. Well, you see them be like, yeah, I don't keep that money that money doesn't keep coming in That's like the Jesse Smollett thing where you're like you wonder how many of those people that are on drugs hit that moment They're like I have to do something crazy, right to get back up there. I'll do celebrity rehab, right? I'll be the victim. What do you do if you're that guy? Look if that guy can't work He's got to save three babies Look, if you that guy can't work, he's got to save three babies. He's got a music career apparently.

No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. Does he though? What if it fucking rules? What if it's like good? Wow, that would be a problem. What if we heard music and it was like, oh, damn. It's all these three leases in last year as a single, but let's hear it.

I mean, before he got in trouble, He had a bunch. He had a record career Can we hear it and edit this out of the show we can I can just play it for just play it for us Just play in-house and who what will the audience here nothing cut it out Can you get it or you can overlap elevator music will be right back with our commentary? Ladies and gentlemen Boy blues a gay novel 1984 Going for that game market. Yeah, so a year ago. No, it's like this is I would describe a bunch of charting songs in 2014 and then oh really for that. Yeah. Yeah So he actually is a legitimate songs on the Empire that were making it big and then that's where I was looking to around 2018 It started not charting anymore and then 2019 is when is when the thing happened Is that crazy you can follow it like that you can go like oh here he is and then now you're like it's dipping

They're we're about to see something we're going to see a little fucking I Will I will say my review of the song is it sounds like AI RnB Mmm, it sounds like yeah, there's not one specific thing that I was like Oh, that was really he could sing for sure. He could sing but it just feels like and and like right a lot of shit Feels like yeah, you know what flavor of my coffee is thanks. What? That's it. Huh? What okay, cool. I know what you want to drink in the morning. Thanks I don't know what's worse that or the open letter to a Vladimir Putin. That's the worst thing ever

That's one of the worst things you're dealing with a man. That's a murderer and you're writing a poem About if I was your mom, I'd fix it. That's also how outrageous great shit. She even a mom No, we looked it up. I think we looked up on the bonfire Makes it funnier It is probably the best piece of shit talking we have against Vladimir Putin Biden or Trump either one of them talking shit. They won't say but this woman being like just a self-important actress being like I'm gonna tell you what I would have done nothing can stop hot actress energy I tell you what I would have done. Nothing can stop hot actress energy. It is just like, yeah, it's an immovable object.

Some mentally ill people are also hot. It's just the Harvard Crimson. They were just satire. Oh, okay. Oh, if I was your woman. A white woman single-handedly stops war in Ukraine. If I was your mother. Imagine, imagine.

I give me like best case scenario when you put that on TikTok is this really does go viral. It gets to Vladimir somewhere. It gets to Vladimir and you see him crying in the Kremlin. Someone slides it across his oversized desk. And then she gets a phone call from Russia. What's going on? What is this? I wish you were my mother.

Could you still be my mommy? Who is this? That's how he tricks her into moving to Russia. And then he's got a new bride. Yeah. And now we have a- She's married to me now. And that's their meat, cute.

Who's that? That does sound like a rom-com from the 90s where it's like, she's an actress. He's a bloodthirsty dictator. What happens when a poem goes viral? It's their sleepless in Seattle I didn't watch the I watched the small clips of the Tucker interview with Putin. Oh, it just what did you think? It looked I mean, did you see what Putin said about it? Do you say he was like made fun of how softball of an interview it was Oh, did he really like made fun of Tucker to the Russian

Press he went I prepared I think the quote was something like I prepared to be challenged Oh, interesting. I was prepared for them to come at me Yeah, cuz I guess some you're right someone in his inner circle is smart because he was clearly got his balls busted for all the ranting he did Putin says he prefers Biden to Trump and mocks Tucker Carlson questions Wow, which again this could all be a Psyop because he's a you know how he moves in shit Putin says he prefers Biden to Trump and Mox Tucker Carlson questions. Wow. Which again, this could all be a Psyop because he's a, you know, how he moves and shit. He said Biden is more predictable.

The lack of sharp questions. Yeah, he said it threw him off because you could tell someone busted his balls for how long he ranted on shit when they were like, what are you talking about? Interesting. And it said, yeah, he was expecting them to. But here's the other part of the quote that people aren't using. Scroll back up again. He said, he goes, I think that, he said, between Biden and Putin, Putin said, without hesitation, the current U.S. president was more experienced, predictable, an old-school politician, but

added, we will work with any U.S. president who the American people have confidence in like Why isn't besides preferring Trump? He says they work with anybody. Yeah, that's what I mean He says this guy doesn't say unreasonable things We just said stuff that you go like he says stuff that's smart enough that you go like oh, yeah, okay Well, it's not a real like Kim Jong-un is like the stars have told me that I'm the leader and you're like You're fucking moron and Putin says stuff and you go I mean, it's not completely incorrect. Well, he's very intelligent Yeah, the guy worked for the KGB. Yeah, the guy it's like a CIA operative being our leader and they're like, hey

I know how these fucking things go. Have you ever seen when he talks about how many US presidents? He's been through and about how they all have these promises Oh, and then once they get into office he goes men with coats like mine sit down with them not with this color Die, you know, yeah, and they tell them exactly what you're going to do like it's cool to see because He's telling the truth. He knows what he said. He's on the other side of it. He's on the other side of it, but it's not a lie. No.

Like, it's... And we all know that. Yeah, they all... No one... Like, Obama, one of his things was to help whistleblowers. It was like a part of the website to get him elected. Yeah. It's like protection for whistleblowers.

They were like the worst for whistleblowers. But, dude, I'm telling you, they all, he knows that all presidents left or right are just the same arms, they have the arms of the same monster. He knows how they work. That's what he means by Biden's a predictable one. He goes, I could fucking, it's like knowing how to drive an old car. Exactly. You're like, I can fucking hand one of these.

You're like throwing a reverse. They were saying that those Chinese weather balloons, those flying over things, those big balloons, that they were doing that when Trump was around, but they didn't tell Trump. That's hilarious. Because Trump would shoot him down. That's hilarious. So they were all fine and shot him down. Yeah.

Which is even crazier than that. It was like good. Yeah. But it's fine. But if Trump shot him down, like, he's fucking launching missiles into the sky. Well, they threatened World War. That's always the threat either side pushes on the other, where they down like, he's fucking launching missiles into the sky. Well, they threatened World War. That's always the threat either side pushes on the other where they go like, World War III is coming.

You ever see the dude who tells the story to the news about the missile that or the jet that crash landed? Have you seen this? No. There was a jet where a pilot ejected from the jet. Like some fucking super expensive fighter jet and it flew into the ground and This one dude was there when it happened. This dude's like super country. I love it. It's Hilarious to talk to a man who lives out here. He told me he actually heard the plane as it was flying past his house and crashing nearby

But he didn't know what it was. I'm almost October the 6th. I'll be 72 years old. Dude, I love a guy that starts draw hat. George Town 10 years ago. He lives in this house with his wife in a very rural area of Williamsburg County. Well, it's nice and quiet and peaceful. And I don't have to worry about people

that close up tight. I like speech. He loves living about two miles away from where he grew up. Normally, it's pretty quiet, but on Sunday afternoon, I was in the bathroom taking a shave and I heard a scream. I thought that was going to go a different way. Between a screech and a whistle. I said, what in the world is this? I need that as a clip I need that as someone to cut that clip where he just goes

I think people have already sampled it in rap songs That's a fucking mean drop White says he didn't realize it was a plane at the time so he didn't call anybody I love he doesn't put it together. Damn dude. That is possibly, I love the beginning of the interview. He goes, I've been on the surface about 72 years. I just love that guy that states how old he is at the beginning. With a straw hat on.

He goes, I ain't seen nothing shit. In the country. But I'm having a shave, which is definitely code for a shit. He was taking a dump in that plane crash. Taking a shave. I said, what in the world is this? I love that. I love that.

I love that. Wow. Yeah, dude. That fucking rules. What if it was a cover story for a crashed UFO? That's what I mean. I mean, that's, I want his explanation on you. If it goes, tiny little gray men, they seem mean.

I think they lost the jet though. They knew the guy ejected from the jet and they lost the jet. It was reported that the jet was lost before this guy reported and they found out where it's slammed. Two or three days though wasn't it? Yeah, because I remember reading that news story about a lost jet and you're like, how the fuck do you lose a jet?

It's also wearing a weighted vest. Yeah. That guy's probably got low body fat under there. Is that what that is? Yeah. That's probably shredded. That's PRI. And he's working out.

Yeah. Maybe like a dude who's just out there works out all the time. Yeah. He's taking off. He's just shredded. Yeah. Just old man ripped. He's like an old Rambo.

Have you ever seen those old dudes that work out in the park on those monkey bars and Yeah, and the the gymnast bars the various different height parallel bars. I did this but these guys are Insanely fit so there's this one old dude that does it on Instagram that I follow well. I've met Back when I was getting out of the waiting tables days, it was about 12, 13 years ago. I did a series for Yahoo called Mansom, which sounds so good. But it was, they would have me do different weird shit or whatever, and I went up to Harlem

and did an episode with these guys. And they were like showing me the shit they could do. And it was unbelievable, like, oh, there it is. Yeah yeah the bartenders yeah dude I am fresh face full alcoholic at this point very hungover dude this guy would do stuff he would do and then I would try to do stuff and I'm out of shape so my arms are doing like the stabilizer insane shit flag poles yeah he would like lift himself all the way up and then all the way back down with like not even breathing It just tried doing the monkey bars back and forth a couple of times and see how hard your it is on your forearms

And your your grip strength especially at 40. Yeah, like look at this They can just do stuff But that is it just shows you also like their physiques come from entirely from body weight. Yeah. And you like, look at gymnasts, they're some of the most fucking ripped people alive. And it's just all body weight. Yeah, it's no weight lifting, it's just that.

Pull ups, how hard up, look at that. Yeah. Like these guys, crazy muscle ups, flips. That's why parkour guys are crazy strong. Yeah. To have that kind of control. Oh, for sure, for sure. Now I could do that if I got up there. I wouldn't do that. I could flip around. Core guys are crazy strong. Yeah to have that kind of control. Oh for sure for sure now

I could do that if I got up there. I wouldn't do that. I could flip around if you fall your fuck Especially in 40. I'd fucking take a fall. Oh, I think they have a rubber floor there It looks like which is nice. I'll help you a little bit. Yeah, still not good being out of shape and trying to do that in front of them Those are just like little liability places like Like there's so much liability there. I would like to know the insurance on like city playgrounds, like the legalities of what they have to be like, you're not suing us. And is there some stuff that's grandfathered in like those domes, those iron domes.

Those thunder domes. They're like monkey bar domes. Those are the shit. Like those grips all around. You'd be inside of them and shit. Fall. Yeah. Dude, I used to go to this place in Denver when I was a kid called Big Fun and it was

like a Discovery Zone kind of thing. But they had these rubber straps. It was called the Spiderweb and it was these tight, thick, like that wide, that thick across, but like dozens of them all the way up and you would climb through disaster. When you fall, you like go through these like straps slapping you in the back of the neck. You would come back with like lacerations on your arms and shit. It's the most fun I've ever had. And there's zero chance they would do that now.

Just rubber straps and be like, climb to the top. Yeah. There's like a good 20 feet tall. You know they do have still two that I'm kind of shocked they still have is those trampoline buildings Those are going them and it's just trampolines everywhere and everyone's just bouncing from one trampoline to the next one Yeah, fuck dude this guy a very funny comic Damien that opens. He's open for me He used to do slam ball back in the day and he showed me slam ball Yeah, they brought it back.

But now they do it with contact. Or I think you used to be able to do it. What a wild idea to have basketball with trampolines. It sounds good on paper, but your knees are like, dude, I can't do this. Oh, yeah, it's got to be terrible for you. Like you land wrong. Oh, yeah.

Like it almost I wonder if it's almost easier to land on a hard floor. I bet you have to do everything totally different because you have two different things going on You had trampoline jumping and then you have running on a court. Yeah, you're going back and forth to both of these things That's probably really hard to do. Yeah go from But is it actually better to see people fly through the air like that? I mean Baseball for home runs, of course. This is yeah, they get to do crazy crazy dunks. Yeah, but you can't even dribble in the center

Yeah, who cares? Yeah, you know what kind of half-do though, right? Like how much traveling happens? Well, they take as many steps as NBA players do now that Euro three-step. What are you allowed? It's like a lot of they call it a Euro step or you're basically allowed what three steps I think it's the NBA apparently there's like a two and a half step rule is a gather step dribble that people can pick up Go like one two and then run there's a few guys I'm gonna break down these crazy plays and be like this is not a travel and here's why and they take five minutes It's slow motion to show you why it was I got here crazy early and I was on my phone in my car watching highlights of this Dude on Twitter that they're they're starting to call him

cream cream Abdul Jabbar He's a white guy from Indiana State this this reporter Matt Ross called him cream up cream Abdul Jabbar And he's a white guy from Indiana State. Let me see what his name is. I think I have it still on my phone. Oh Yeah, dude, he rules his name is Robbie Avila and he's like when you see this guy you're like oh he's just a big fat white guy with glasses and then he just balls really he just balls out and he's that Indiana State yeah I love it I love a goofy white guy there he is that's him yeah this guy had 35 points last night he's's putting it up. Yeah, let me see some highlight

This guy could fucking go he plays like he's playing with kids like that's how he kind of looks sometimes He's right there down on the key right there. Yeah Up and in and he just looks like if he showed up at the playground Well, you'd be like you'd be like, ah, he's probably not that good and then he just fucks shit up Those goggles are fresh too. Yeah, dude. I love it. He's got those old school Kurt Rambus glasses on. Yeah.

I love a guy that has Horus Grant up top. Those glasses probably help. Oh yeah. It's like Ricky Vaughn in Major League. You can finally see the strike zone. I wonder if you saw it. You can really see everything. Yeah.

But look, he can dish. Wow. I love a goofy, big guy. That's great at basketball That's why I love Yolkich on the Nugget so much He just looks like he should not be good and he's awesome Wow, yeah, he moves slow in that way where you're like, but he's precise Fucking Larry bird. Yeah, Larry bird your life and also the is, they say arguably, the greatest shit talker of all time. That he was like, other tier level of shit talking.

He would apparently show up to like, remember when they had those free throw competitions and he said, this was coming in second. Oh yeah, he said that at the All Star game for the three point competition. He goes, who's going to be in second place? There was one And I don't really know how true this story is but list, you know Joe List is a huge Celtics fan huge Boston sports guy. He told me a story that Larry Bird It was like the 86 season and they were he was lined up on a guy and Larry Bird hit three shots in a row They call a timeout and he comes back on the court and he tells the guy he goes

Can't believe they're gonna give the ball to Mikhail I just scored six straight points on you and they're giving the ball to Mikhail I think I went what and then the play happens and Mikhail scored and the bird looked at him as like I told you Like he's just so good. He's like yeah, I'm not getting the ball and I'm mad about it. This guy is Yeah, he's so good to be able to talk that LeBron tells the players on another team what they're doing wrong sometimes really He's like you're supposed to be over here. That's wild. You're fucking hey move Yeah, he knows what everybody's doing. Yeah, that's what knowledge is that at the level so far above everybody else on the floor He's he most coaches also do this what's correct

What I love is we're in sports where someone calls something out in the middle of a play. There's two examples in the NFL that I know where Peyton Manning gets mad at his tackle for missing a block and he's running. He's on the Colts and you can hear him go, God damn it. He yells the guy's name in the middle of the play and still has the play done. But he like in the middle of the play goes like, you fuck that. And like screams it out. It's fucking hilarious. You one of the best versions of that yeah

Max Holloway was fighting Brian Ortega. Yeah, and he told Brian Ortega you got a block like this He puts his hand up to help him block in the middle of beating his ass I'm fine. He takes his hand he goes put your hand right here. I mean do that that Yeah, need you to see this watch Look watch this look he puts his head see he's teaching him how to do it so That moment. You don't need to see this. Watch. Look. Watch this. Look. He puts his head, see? He's teaching him how to do it.

That's so funny. He said, look, look, look, look, protect me. Look. See? Watch this. Look at this, man. Bro, put your hand there. He did like the demonstration.

Like, I won't even do it to you. And then he beats his ass more. He's just such a nice guy. Wild. That was like when Khabib got Connor in the corner and was talking to him. Yeah, let's talk now. Let's talk No, let's go. No, you're like just getting elbows hammered on you Fucking wild wild it's a wild sport man. Yeah, those guys are bad asses. That's right Yeah, that's a different kind of human being yeah kind of human being that can do that successfully for a living

Yeah, yeah, and just it's a big one It makes her in Miami. Yeah, big fucking card. You're excited. Oh, yeah, it's a big one There's one fight. I'm really excited about Dustin Poirier versus Benoit Sendonni. Okay, Benoit Sendonni was a French special forces guy Who now fights in MMA and is Merkin people like he's a straight-up killer. I mean he looked at that chest tattoo is fucking tough He there was one of the fights that I Called and I'm interviewing him afterwards and he starts talking about it like America You helped us out during World War two very much for bringing us back

He's talking about America in terms of like military, like that we've always been kind of aligned. Yeah. And I'm like, that's how he's thinking. Yeah. That's a problem. He's a killer. He got into MMA to be better as a soldier.

I think he already had a judo background, but the MMA thing is fairly recent. It's more than like six years, I believe, or so. He's 13, I saw his record, he's 13 and one. He's called the God of is fairly recent. It's more than like six years, I believe, or so. He's 13. I saw his record. He's 13 and worn. He's called the God of War. Yeah.

That's badass. As a fan of God of War, that's badass. I think the fight he lost was at a different weight class, too. I think he fights at 155. And I'm pretty sure, we should check on that, I'm pretty sure his fight that he lost was at 170. But he's very good, man. He's very good. And he's calculated and he doesn't have any weaknesses. He's very good on the man. He's very good and he's calculated and he

doesn't have any weaknesses. He's very good on the ground, he's very good standing up. He's just good everywhere. If he wins that fight does that elevate him to a shot at the title? Boy it's a big jump. He's a big jump in competition. This guy goes from beating guys who are pretty good, good fighters, solid fighters to the top of the heap, Dustin Poirier, a guy who's been interim champion. It's a different level. For Dustin to accept that fight, it's a big risk. Dustin must have got paid a lot of money to do that because that's crazy.

St. Denis is favored over Dustin Poirier. Dustin Poirier who is fought fucking everybody. Everybody, the guy beats Connor twice and he's still the underdog against St. Denis. That's how scary that dude is. I like that Michael Page is fighting in UFC. Kevin Holland, Michael Page is fun. I know Michael Page from the, like, he was fun, dude.

That's a real fight. That's a real fight. Yeah. That's a real fight. Because Kevin Holland is fucking dangerous. Yeah. He's fucking dangerous and he's got a lot of MMA experience. A lot. And he's very good on the ground

and he's got ridiculous one punch power. Yeah. And that's also a welterweight fight where Kevin I think is at his most dangerous at 170. Kevin is so fucking dangerous. You do like spinning back elbows and shit. Like, I know Michael Page from watching like his highlights. If you go to Michael Page, Michael Venom Page,

before he was ever an MMA fighter, was a high level karate point fighter. And I was always wondering, like, when are those guys going to make their way into MMA? Because we had this one guy Raymond Daniels Who was also an opponent of Michael Venom page in a karate thing? But there's a video you could watch of that of them competing in a karate tour What's the guys at that that those high level karate guys can move in and out very fast

Is that what they're is that what they're like super power you would say is is that just like the blitz crazy in and out very fast. Is that what their super power you would say is? It's a blitz. They're just crazy in and out and can nail you with shit. They can cover distance much faster than everybody else because their game is all about touching you once. So it's like you're playing a game of karate tag. Yeah. Karate tag is the funniest name to call it though. It kind of is like that. To make it sound safer you go you want to play karate tag and you just you just get the fucking head But you don't most of the times guys don't even get knocked out. They just get touched You know, it's a lot of like this like this kind of thing and then when someone does touch make contact

They separate and they call point now is based on the very ludicrous notion that one strike could kill someone Okay, so you wouldn't want to be hitting anybody more than once. Yeah, you could do one hit or a quitter. Yeah. So this is like based, you know, they started these tournaments based on that idea a long ass time ago and they keep doing them that way. But the skill that you get from that is the ability to close the distance and hit someone. Look at that crazy jump in wheel kick you did. Yeah.

That was a 320 degree wheel kick. Look at this. I mean, that's crazy. If you're in a street fight, right? And you see a guy take a karate stance. Yeah. There is a chance he's going to hit you with one of those. Most likely.

That's a one hitter. Yeah. You take that shot. But if you're a wrestler, you go, oh, this is going to be great. This is going to be great. You're going to kick me. OK. Only time this. And then I'll just. Yeah, I'm gonna tackle you on the concrete fuck face.

That's why that Dagestinian wrestling thing. Wrestling is the number one foundation of all martial arts. I think if you don't know how to wrestle, you can't fight. You have to know how to wrestle. Even the high level kickboxers, like, you okay, bro? What happened? I'm still coming over to this allergies from wrestling. You son of a bitch.

You guys COVID. It's COVID bitch, you got us COVID. It's COVID, it's the new COVID. Give it to me. Even guys like Alex Pajeda, who's one of the most devastating strikers to ever fight in this sport. He had to learn how to wrestle before he could fight in MMA. Yeah.

You can't just go in there and not know how to get up. You can't go in there and not know how to defend yourself. It's just too dangerous. I remember the old school when they did James Tony or Randy Couture. Oh yeah. And you're like, the Randy Couture is like, well, I'm not gonna stand with you.

The Randy Couture is like, you can't wrestle at all. Randy ankle victim. Yeah. Which is like embarrassing. He just dropped down and grabbed his ankle, like sit your ass down. Yeah dude, he didn't even let him have a shot. That was fun to watch.

Randy was actually nice to him. He could have tortured him. He could have like proven a point and just stayed on him and punched him in the face as long as he wanted to. But that's why I liked Khabib, because Khabib just did that to the top guys that could wrestle. Guys that could wrestle were like,

he was like watching someone fight a shark and get brought into the water. And you were like, he's just got you. Yeah, I mean that's what Poirier said about him. I just couldn't believe he's doing that to him You're just so you're just so good the guys at the top level are like I can't even fuck with this guy I'm all by this dude and he's talking to you and boy a tried for a guillotine at one point time I almost had it. Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty tight. I was a has a nasty guillotine was that fight in London or it was I think I remember watching why do I remember watching it in the afternoon I do not know but I remember watching that you're

like oh he's got no he does oh it was Justin Gaith was that the last fight gaige gaige was the last fight well with gaige did he catch kabebe in a something I think he tried something and then all of a sudden triangle or a guillotine was a gaige am I remembering it wrong I thought it was Dustin Poirier almost had a guillotine you probably know more than I do I just remember I get him confused though too being a high it helium in Philadelphia during the day and they're like we'll put the fight on here and I was like that'd be awesome walk over from the hotel the story was that he actually likes gauging

it was poor it was poor it was yeah so here it is he gets him in a guillotine this is pretty fucking tight dude it. It's pretty fucking tight. And it would have been much better if he had that right knee engage. See how it could be just steps over that right knee? He just alleviated a lot of pressure there. But there's still a tremendous amount of pressure on his neck. But the key thing here is Dustin tried to scramble and re-engage, but he never got that right knee in play.

He kept that right knee from being in play every time. See how he pushed it down And get sideways that alleviates the pressure from the hips So now the hips aren't squeezing down on your lower back anymore, which accentuates the pressure on the noise out Yeah, it was the whole key to that if he was in full guard Look at how scary it is then all of a sudden he's on his back He's like shit shit well, that's the that's the problem pulling guard for it Right here right and then he just switches over switch over and now he's just got us back

Yeah, and also Dustin needs to take a break here Yeah, he just exerted an insane amount of energy trying to close the deal So when you're trying to close the deal on a guillotine your whole body is involved Yeah, and you're arcing into it and you know and he didn't have the leg man And then it's just he didn't have that leg if he had that right leg over And that's why it could be that was his number one priority Wasn't even defending the choke if you notice the number one priority is moving over that right leg Yeah, got over him because as soon as someone has a guillotine like Dustin does and they have two legs

And you're really trapped it might be night night Yeah, it might be night night because they're pulling down on your lower back and then they're up on your neck and twisting it to the side I'd be trying to talk You're just fucks bill That that was what I was saying last night when you get choked it changes your voice. We go like That's just how fucking good could be boys. Yeah, he's so good He'll know most the tragedy that he never wants to fight again because he doesn't right It was like the promise he made his dad as beautiful. It's almost a tragedy that he never wants to fight again. Because he doesn't, right? It was like the promise he made his dad. It's beautiful. It's made his mother.

He's going to have one more fight and that's what's going to be it. And it's beautiful. Like, that's a great way to go out. And now he's just a badass coach. Yep. And he'll be one of the greatest coaches of all time. And he'll go out as, without a doubt, one of the greatest to ever do it. Yeah. One of the greatest to ever do it. Pound for pound. If not the best ever, he's definitely in the argument.

The argument is Mighty Mouse, who's always had a special place in my heart for when he was in his prime Yeah, when he was in his prime some mighty mouse was a motherfucker to watch He would do shit that no one could do he would do shit where he would Throw a guy into the air Suplex him and then catch an arm bar in the middle of him being in the air. I just saw that clip. And finish it on the ground.

I just saw the flying arm bar. There's not a champion alive that can do that the way Mighty Mouse did. Yeah, you like toss the guy in the air and then on his way down through him in an arm bar when they both hit the mat. Bro, when he fought Henry Sahudo the first time, it was a master class. It was a master class. When he put Henry away. Yeah, when he fought Henry Sohoot-o the first time, it was a master class.

It was a master class. When he put Henry away. Yeah, when you're... This is his last fight. That was the fight with the fly. That's a great fight too, though. Show that, show that, that KO. Cause it's a flying knee.

And this is a guy who had knocked him out in the previous fight with a knee. So check it out. Look at this combination. Look at that fucking timing, dude. Do the head. And walk away. Oh my gosh. Look at that. I mean, dude, do the head walk away. Oh, my God. Look at that timing. Oh, my God.

When you're watching this cage side and you see a guy like Mighty Mouse, do some wild shit. Yeah. Are you just like as a fan of the sport, you're calling it. But you're just like, does it take your brain a little bit to process? Like what? It's so magical. It's so magical.

It's like, I know how hard it is to move that way. So when I see a dude who can move the way he does, I'm like that is so fucking beautiful. So for someone who does more, it is. Yeah, look at this. Flying arm bar. This is against Ray Borg. So in the middle of the suplex, he catches the arm.

Before the dude hits the ground. Oh, that's what it is. Before the dude hits the ground, he caught the the arm and then he swings over and get now He's having fun here. Yeah having fun for him to do this He's like I'm gonna show off and if you know Demetrius, he's a fun dude. He plays a lot of video games. That's awesome He's a really sweetheart of a guy you never imagined to be that good Really sweetheart of a guy you never imagined to be that good Yeah, the German suplex into a fucking yeah

In the air and this was a fight and he was just lightened his dude on fire like he was just like this yeah fire He's at I maintain that he is the finest expression of martial arts Yeah, I've ever because it's creative. It's it's it's just he didn't have the kind of competition and the men aren't as big But if he was welterweight, he would be no question the greatest of all time No question. He was so good, dude Yeah, you got to look at them when they're in this window of time and it sometimes is just a few years Where they're they're accomplishing things in a way that is so extraordinary You go I've never seen anybody better

Yeah, and that's how I feel about mighty mouse when he was in his prime And then the other one that that's like that is Anderson Silva Anderson In his prime all the defenses the title defenses that run it was a way he was doing it too man It was like he was operating at a different speed than them. He was processing things with a 2024 computer. And they were using some Windows 95. The way he would dodge punches all the time. And then I also loved, he was part of the reason I wrote that joke about translators in the ring afterwards

because his voice was so soft. And he was like, just in Portuguese, and they'd be like, Anderson says he'll kill all comers and anyone and you're like but his voice is so sweet His voice was like Bro when he when he beat rich Franklin to win the title. Yeah, a Isn't it yeah ace rich rich ace Frank because he looked like a smotura a little bit Those are my mushroom days where I just take a ton of mushrooms and watch UFC Those are my mushroom days where I just take a ton of mushrooms and watch UFC

That's a crazy thing to watch on mushrooms. Oh dude. It was dude. I got robbed When I lived in Tucson because I lived with a weed dealer And I got fucking hogtied like gone on 45 on the head like cleaned out I did the whole story on Arie's it was the season I got fired But this is not happening, but I lived with a weed guy and we got set up and I was just the roommate. How hard they hit you in the head? Not hard, I had to pretend that it was harder because the guy was smaller than me.

So I had to pretend that he really fucked my shit up when really he just kind of dinked me. And then he was, I mean he was a pro. Like he had an army duffel bag, zip ties. Holy shit. Had like a real gun. Like I had a cheap one. There's one guy?

There's two guys. Got both me and my roommate and they knew we were college kids. Both guys had guns? Oh yeah. Hammers dude. 45s I think. I think both of them had 45 caliber. Like he was tapping it on my head being like,

you're gonna fucking die white boy. Where's the fucking money? And you're like, I don't fucking know. And then, so I got robbed and then I got out of it or whatever, I was fine. I wasn't physically hurt. They took my car, which had six loads of laundry in it. So I lost all my clothes.

That sucked. Wearing a bathing suit as underwear for three days. Cause I was so broke, I couldn't afford anything. I lost my CD booklet. Did you ever get the car back? Yeah cleaned out Where was it in the desert? That's what happens in Tucson? It's all happened to son and they called me and they like we got your car And I was like is my

I was at a bar and to some police called me and they go we found your car and I go was the CD booklet in it The guy goes no, it's like you look we found your fucking car That's the thing we used to carry CD books in our car. guy goes, no. It's like, you look, we found your fucking car. That's the thing we used to carry CD books in our car. I had a zip one. Dude, that's right. I had a zipper one with multiple pages. Two fifty.

Dude, I had pages of bands. Wasn't that shit? I had a whole Soundgarden page. Oh, yeah. I had a whole Nirvana page with bleach all the way to fucking, yeah. Dude, and you'd keep the, you'd keep the CD thing for insides so it looked professional. Right. Dude, I had a banger of a CD booklet that got taken.

But then that night. These kids today. Yeah, they're just like, not digital. I won't own my media. But I went to my buddy Sumner's house. And I took probably 3 and 1 half close to four grams. And I was drunk before I took it. Oh, boy.

And Mark was sober. and he let me in and we watched the first season of The ultimate fighter. Oh wow and we had it on like Did you get robbed while you're watching it? No, I this was at night But it was like hyping me up or I was like maybe I would have pulled I was on mushrooms I was like maybe I would have pulled I wouldn't have pulled shit But I was like oh and then we watched that till like five in the morning, but I was just tripping, being like, oh, watch it. And I was like, watching UFC on mushrooms rules.

And I thought it was just too cool. So I did it a couple more times. And I was thinking the last time I did it was like, Lesnar Shane, uh, Karwin. Oh wow. Cause I was like, oh, he's from Colorado. I always loved Colorado fighters. That was the closest Shane had come.

I mean, he really came close to beating that guy. Yeah, we watched it. The guy on top of him was pounding him. Oh, I wasn't on mushrooms. I was drunk at Hooters with Lewis. Oh, that's funny. I was drunk at a midtown Hooters with Lewis because I was yelling out Aurora

and then fucking Shane Carlin lost. And I was like, ah, because he gassed. He gassed out, that was it. He emptied the tank trying to finish Brock. Yeah, because he wobbled out. He gasped out. That was it. He emptied the tank trying to finish Brock. Because he wobbled him. Well, he was on top of him. Raining bombs down on him. A lot of referees would have stopped that fight.

Really? Yeah. Watch it. Watch it. Let's watch it. Let's watch the first, the end of the first round with Brock Lesnar and Shane Carlin. God, I forgot where he was.

Shane was a terrifying puncher. Terrifying. He was the only guy in the UFC that they had to have gloves bigger than Brock Lesnar's. Really? Yeah, they had like four XL gloves. Because I remember when Brock came to the UFC, they were like, Biggest gloves ever. They had to make his gloves bigger.

Shane's are bigger. Really? Bro, Shane's hands were like, Badass! They were like canned hands. Look at these guys. Shane was so dangerous, man. Like people forgot about him, like in his prime.

He could put anybody to sleep with like a six inch punch. He was so fucking dangerous. And he was a really good wrestler too. Yeah. And a Colorado guy, so I love them. He's a fucking beast, dude. Was he in the great Jackson gym with all of them? Uh, I believe...

Well, I know he's out of Colorado. Yeah. I think he trained with Jackson. Yeah, but this is at the point where he's already gassed. Yeah, I think he trained with Jackson. Yeah But this is at the point where he's already gasped. Yeah, this is at the point where he's gassed And this is the second round. Yeah, this is when Brock wins. Can you go back to like the first round? No, I'm at the end of the first round. So this is the so this is it so go a little bit before that so you can See how this takes place Because like he stuns them on the feet

So they're standing up there. God, listen to that. Oh. And there was the uppercut. Look at that uppercut. That uppercut was nasty. He's stuffed to take down. Bro, Shane was so dangerous, so dangerous.

I thought it was over right there. Look at this. It could have been over right here with a lot of referees, man. A lot of referees. And then not here. There has to be a feeling where you have Brock Lesnar and then you don't and you go like fuck. Look at this.

Look how close this is. So he's getting fucking pummeled dude. And this goes on for a while. The thing is Shane right now is emptying the tank cause he thinks he's got the clothes. He's at the end, that's what he thinks. Yeah. This goes on for a while dude, dude doing going on look at this Big shots like right there stop the fight right there

You can stop the fight the Brock is still pushing him off, but he's not really effectively defending himself Like many referees would have been like I've seen enough like right here the blood spraying many referees Damn, but no, I don't remember this fight that well. I just remember that Shane gassed. Yep Oh my god, dude feeling of having someone almost knocked out and they don't call it but it gets worse look one almost knocked out and they don't call it but it gets worse look it gets worse so now he gets I think he fully mounts him at one point in time I do this look at this this is big dude these are big fucking shots that's a big elbow yeah but he's tired you can see him breathing heavy yeah but now he's just looking for one big shot.

I mean, dude, the way he has him, I've never seen him. I mean, he's beating the fuck out of Brock here. But now those aren't effective. Yeah. But the referee could stop the fight, man. This is fucking close. This is one of those things where the guy is getting beat up so bad, you could make an argument for stopping it. Look at all the blood.

But Brock is fighting back. Shane gets on top of him again. Brock can't get up, right? He's getting mauled here. No, but Brock's saving energy doing this, right? Like, he's not. Well, I mean, he clearly had the better gas tank, because he made it out of this.

And then the second round, he was fresh, and Shane was done. Yeah. Like, Shane right now is done. Yeah. He's done. He's so tired. You have to understand how he has nothing in his arms. He just exerted everything. He emptied the tank.

Have you ever seen a fight where a guy does that and then wins by using his legs or something? Most of the time when guys empty the tank that bad, they can't recover. So they're done on everything. And so Brock is scrambling at the end of the round and yeah I'm back up now. He's up now. He's up Damn dude if someone stands up like that, especially a Brock Lesnar against you you go like And Shane is kind of breaking here like he's really tired. Yeah, I'm breathing He's just trying to figure out a way to recover and Brock's not gonna let him recover because if he's defending constantly

But he's still breathing heavily and then he's not gonna be able To get his win back. Yeah, this isn't just like it seems like no one's doing anything But he's got a fight Brock off him with that overhook He's got to do something to like keep him right now. He's not doing shit right now He's just hanging on damn and Brock is catching his breath too. So Shane doesn't even have his hands clasped here He's literally not he's not digging that overhook. He's really needing a break here. And Brock knows this too. So Brock recognizes that he's exhausted.

So Brock knows probably also that this is the end of the round and he's gonna make it out of this. And so then when he comes into the second round, he knows this dude's toast. Because there's a level that you get to where you're so exhausted, like you're not gonna be okay in a minute Yeah, so here's the second round. Do you think when he sits down? Or when he comes back out right here, he's like, oh fuck. Yep. Oh you see him breathing

Yeah, he's already exhausted and Brock looks way better and Brock is gonna just set it up Look for the moment But he kind of knows the chain's toast right here Then he eventually shoots Jesus man That's something where I would you just want to be like I just can't let me go home I'm just fucking zapped So he's moving away from the shots now Look they're like telling them to like get the fuck over there

This is good for both of them to it gives him a chance chance to recover. So he swung in there, tried to land a big bomb. Do you think it's similar in any way like being at a job where you feel out of your depth, where you're just like, fuck, I'm done. I thought this was it. You know what I mean? There is a shot. So he gets on top of them and eventually arm triangle some, submit some. Yeah. So he's just out. Here it is. He gets them and eventually arm triangle some submit some yeah, so he's just out here It is he gets him in the arm triangle. I mean is this this is a heavy pressure head and arm choke heavy pressure Oh, yeah, oh, fuck He's got to push with his elbow see how his hand is right there

Yeah, what he really needs to do is what's called answering the phone You put your hand in between Brock's head and your ear so he tapped. Yeah, he was done You the defense and it's not the best defense, but it's the only thing you have is to get your hand like this. Hello. Yeah Hello Because if they just have this like completely locked up. Yeah, you're fucked. Jesus. You gotta get a little bit of space Our future president Brock Lesnar Isn't that it in an idiotocracy? Yeah, it is. It's a former WWF champion.

Yeah, that would absolutely be, we would hit idiotocracy. I just watched idiotocracy about a year ago and it fucking holds up. Mike Judge is just amazing. He's by the way, office space still holds up. Amazing.

It all holds up. One of the greatest movies of all time. Beavis and Butthead still funny. Amazing. King of the Hill, everything the guy does. He's unbelievable. Beavis and Butthead still funny. Amazing. King of the Hill, everything the guy does. He's unbelievable. Bro, Beavis and Butthead, when I first moved to California in 94 was this shit. Yeah.

Couldn't wait for Beavis and Butthead. It was the funniest thing on television. There's great music videos. Corn Julio. Oh, great. Where we became Corn Julio and you have too much sugar. The great Corn Julio. I need TP for my bunghole.

Dude, I was in middle school and it was like everybody was doing Beavis and Butthead impressions It was like hey, where they like you just hear the weird kid in the back be like that rule You're like, oh Jesus Christ made being a degenerate dirtbag fun. Yeah Yeah, the movie was great Beavis and Butthead do America let me see what he does he gets so he gets too much syrup He's just drinking all the soda yeah yeah guy rolls I love that I remember going to see the movie like pumped like waiting Yeah, like wait like getting friends together and being like Friday Friday Friday night We're gonna go see Beavison, but it do America. I haven't seen new ones. Aren't there new ones? Yeah, they're doing new ones

Are they good? Did you like them because they watch tiktok stuff now now they don't watch music videos They watch like what we would watch and make fun of Like that poem they would like to watch that it was great perfect. Yeah, what's it on? Paramount plus Okay, it's like buried on one of those streaming services I have that one go watch it cuz that's like where South Park is yeah a bunch of stuff there Yeah, Paramount plus has some good shit on it. It's just annoying that you have to subscribe well Yeah, old bebes and but it they're old now

some of them. It is good. Oh they The show I really want to watch is Ronan on an FX You mean show gun show gun. Yes. Yeah, show gun looks amazing. They put the two I think there's two episodes out right now. I'm gonna watch it tonight after shows What streaming service is that on? It's on Hulu, because it's FX. Yeah, it looks sick. I remember the original. The original. Yeah, the original was amazing. I didn't know there was, I didn't know this was a remake.

Yeah, there's an original show, Shogun, way back in the day. Very excited for this. I mean, yeah, it was Shogun. This looks awesome. It's based on a novel. Oh, it was Shogun. This looks awesome. It's based on a novel. Oh, it is? Yeah. Okay.

I love, FX does random shit sometimes and you're like, this is awesome. They do some great shit. Yeah. They do. They do some great shit. They're kind of like what HBO used to be. They did The Shield. Remember The Shield?

Yeah. That was a great show. The Shield was very good. Michael Chickless or whatever? Yeah. So, Shogun, anun American historical drama limited series created by Rachel condo and Justin marks based on the 1975 novel of the same name by James Clavel The novel is previously adapted into 1980 limited series. Yeah, that's it 1980. Yeah, click on the 1980 series

Who's in that? Oh shit? so this was Starring who's the guy can you find your chamberlain that right that's right right you find it right this is like when they were letting white dudes play Japanese guys now he was a white guy supposed to be a white guy living with the show guns oh like kind of like the last samurai exactly okay basically like the Tom's cruise movie yeah they just stole out That's totally lifted yeah, like the one white guy fucking kicks asses or something like good luck We're watching that we're going yeah, bro. They were raised to sword fight you shut your fucking mouth

You're gonna lose an arm Instantly you're gonna lose an arm and then the rest of your life You know like and you're and you have no honor Yeah, cuz you're a dickhead and they cut your arm off Dude, that'd be a fucking and they decided not to kill you and just leave you with no arm, but didn't they shut off Contact with the outside world And then all the showgun fell in shit and everyone was like yeah our military's are advanced by like a hundred years now Whoops and Japan was like

Forgot about bullets. Got a ketchup. Well, they didn't want to use bullets too, right? Yeah. It wasn't an honorable way to kill them. Yeah. It wasn't Bushido. Yeah. They're one of the only successful cultures that fought off the Mongols.

I mean, you're talking about my favorite video game of all time, Ghost of Tsushima. Yeah? Games unbelievable. It's a video game about the Samurais and the Mongols? Yeah. It's about the invasion of Tsushima Island by the Mongols and you did you learn Four different sword styles and you change your sword styles to play to this game. I played this game I want to say three or four times completely

Graphics it's unbelievable and it's open world. So you ride your, you ride around and then you'll duel Mongols. There's also no difficulty level, right? It's supposed to be pretty hard. You could change the difficulty. Yeah. You could change the difficulty level. That's awesome. You go around, you get armor, you learn how to duel, but you start off after

they lose the invasion. And then this is the actual game or this is the game. This is the cutscene, but then that's the real game. That's what it looks like when you're riding through. It's unbelievable. Holy fuck, dude, this is amazing. Jinsukai! You could stumble upon a camp?

That's what it is, and then you fucking sneak attack. Oh my god. Right there, they have this, what you do. So you can do multiple assassinations. Dude, it's... Anyone I've ever told to play this game comes back and they're like like that's fucking unbelievable This is insane goes to Sashima rules

Oh my god, and they said they're due for a sequel because this came out a couple years ago flaming arrows It's unbelievable you do so much shit that you're like this is the coolest thing And then you have one-on-one sword fights with Ronan's in shit Like your best friend is a Ronan that betrays you and you have to fight him in an awesome sword like big sword duels It's awesome. Whoa, and your uncle is Kind of like runs it, you know and you have to either you choose if you go with him or against them It's fucking rules. Wow, dude. It's Easily my top three in my top three video games are so next level. Well, they're movies that you play now

Yeah Like compelling than movies because you're a player in it like last of us Then Aqua's it's like it's not as good as the game like you play last of us You're in that shit or like God of War. They'll never make it into a movie, but you play it as a game You're like this is so fucking fun. Wow. You just get into shit Spider-Man 2 the video game is better than real video game. I'm a nerd Joe. Yeah, you're a junkie. I'm a junkie fucking Spider-Man 2 I mean Ragnarok, it's unbelievable Spider-Man 2 is better than any spider-man the video game is better than any spider-man movie they've made It's as a comic book fan. it's better than anything they've made.

Look at this. Yeah, dude. Balder versus Kratos. That's fucking insane. It's not as fun as doing Gay of War. God, the fucking... He's like, I want to suck, boy, boy, I'm going to suck you. Is that what they do?

No, I just make fun of that. Shane and I used to do this thing. This is the actual game point. That's a cutscene Yeah, that's where you fight them Better look out Reds you can't defend Does he have just magic? Yeah, it's all about this shit You fight you basically fight against Odin and everyone of like all the Norse gods and they find out that you're a former Greek god.

Oh. It's awesome. It fucking rules. Where that Red Dead Redemption 2 came out, Shane and I were going on the road together. I was taking Shane on the road. And we would do this, he would joke that I'm such a nice guy.

He's like, what's your demons? Like what do you do? And I was like, it'd be funny if I like jerked off homeless guys and that's what came out about me. So Shane and I would do a running bit where we would do a homeless guy was like, it'd be funny if I like jerked off homeless guys. And that's what came out about me. So Shane and I would do a running bit where we do a homeless guy being like, Hey, watch out, buddy. You're about to make me come. We're like, and it's just me being like, shut up.

I'm going to fucking jack you off. He's like, oh, hey, man, what are you doing? Shane and I do that for weeks. And then I was out of the country and Red Dead Redemption two came out and I just got this voicemail from Shane that was so excited. He's like, dude, have you played Red Dead Redemption 2 yet? I'm like, no, I'm not home yet. And he goes, Arthur Morgan is our homeless jerk off voice.

Oh my God. The main character of the voice is a guy going like, well, hey there. And we're like, dude, that is our homeless jerk off voice. Oh, Jackie off under the, hey, mister. I brought some food and whiskey for you fellas. That game rules. This is another game where you can do wild shit to people too. Wild shit. voice. Oh, Jackie off under the hay, mister. That game you can do wild shit to people to wild shit. By the way, it's a game you can play four or five times and not find all the stuff that they, they put that much work into it where they're like, no, this is, this is layered.

You can go on treasure hunts and shit that you would never find unless you like win after. You don't ever wonder if you're like killing too much time doing those things all the time dude all the time is it give you anxiety yeah but I also level it by like alright if I'm gonna spend 30 minutes writing jokes then I could play like video games for two hours cuz I'm high what else am I gonna fucking do but that's good if you get a little word my video game went up make sense fills the time. Yeah, because honestly like one in the morning I'll hang out at the cellar till like one and then I'm like

Time to go home by video games fun. Yeah. I want to go smoke a fat bowl and play fucking go susu shima So that's the new grand thought about the pleasure that that kind of technology gives people People that their lives suck But their video game lives are awesome. I get it and it's the joy you get is real It's yeah, you have to deal with post video game post-nut syndrome Wipe it off your belly and you're like well is a Greek God fighting Yeah, I thought four But it is they do incredible shit and that's why it's like it's moving away from

Movies and shit. We were like your spider-man movies are really cool But when you're actually spider-man and you're flying around New York City, and then you got to go fight Fucking venom. Yeah, like this is unbelievable. Wait, it's unbelievable. Yeah, and then they're gonna write it is virtual Yeah, it's drugs. Yeah, and then they're gonna get those things to be virtual. Yeah, it's drugs. Yeah. Heavy drugs. Heavy, heavy, heavy. Heavy, heavy.

And you better believe when I get to my hotel in San Antonio. Dan Soto, you're the man. Dude, what a fun day. Thanks for being here. Appreciate you, you're always fun. Dude, thanks for having me. I'm excited to work mother ship this weekend. Yes, I'm excited you're gonna be there too.

That's, I'm fucking pumped. And then tell everybody social all that stuff Got a new special out on YouTube called on the road it comes out March 1st, which is I think today, but uh At dance Soder on everything subscribed to my YouTube channel I got a podcast called Soder just having comics come sit on my couch and bullshit for an hour Yeah, man, and I'm on the road. I'm on the road. So dance order calm beautiful. I'll be out there Thanks, brother. Appreciate you. Bye everybody