The Joe Rogan Experience - #2127 - Eleanor Kerrigan

Episode Date: March 28, 2024

Eleanor J. Kerrigan is a stand-up comic, actor, and co-host of the podcast "The Store Podcast" with Rick Ingraham and "What's Up, Doc?" with Jeff Danis. Watch her new special, "Eleanor Kerrigan: No Country for Old Women," on YouTube.  www.eleanorjkerrigan.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Joe Rogan Experience. Trained by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Hello, Elanowera. Great, Deep breath. How are you? I really took that in. What's going on? What's cracking, kid? Nothing. I'm excited to be here.

Excited to have you. Woohoo! How's LA treating you? LA's good. I mean, I'll be be honest I haven't been there a lot after I filmed my special I just I mean I'm on the road so much right so which is good And then I get to go to Philly in between I hang out my mom so I'll in between gigs I'll just hang out my mom's instead of going back to LA, but I feel like I haven't been yeah I think I was there for five days last week

Yeah becomes when you do the road all the time your house sort of just becomes some stop back to LA, but I feel like I haven't been, I think I was there for five days last week. Yeah, it becomes, when you do the road all the time, your house sort of just becomes some stop. Yeah, but I have no responsibility whatsoever. Like I don't have a plant, I have nothing. Like so. What a nice, what a free, what a free existence you've carved out for yourself.

What an asshole. So selfish. It's funny because people think about it that way. Like you have to have things you're responsible for. Otherwise you're a bad person. Yeah I always tell my mom I'm living her what she would want to want it to do had she not had 10 children. Hmm. 10 children. Yeah good times. Keep it up lady. 10 kids is so bonkers. Who does that? How about on the ninth one? He'll like, one more.

Her worst pregnancy. The ninth one? The ninth one, longest delivery. My little brother Bobby. She said that's how lazy he was, he wouldn't come out. He's so lazy. He's so lazy. She said he was hanging on for dear life.

I'm like, why? And she said, because he's lazy. It'd be an interesting study to have ten kids and just to see like what makes them come out different. Because they are fucking different. This is one thing, having children, seeing them from babies, you realize, oh, they're different right out of the box.

Yeah. It has zero to do with what you tell them. This is what you should do. A lot of them is just how they come from the factory exactly and you always think like I know this genetic stuff like there's you inherit stuff genetically whatever you know I'm pretending I know what I'm saying and yeah but my oh that's good yeah I remember that anyway I asked my mom to write this thing for me like what she was going through with each kid,

just to see if I can get it, because we are all different, like in the craziest way. Oh, like in her life. Yeah, like what was going on. And it is interesting, because when it gets to my brother, Charlie, like she was going through stuff with my dad, and physically her whole body, she was pregnant,

her kidneys were failing, and they had a literally move him to the side it You know operate on her kidneys take it out whatever before it like killed the baby Oh my god, and it was insane like she tells the story. I'm like, oh what how right? Why and then she said they put it back, cleared her out. She was good. The kidneys didn't affect anything. And then they assumed Charlie was going to be stillborn. So the nurse came in and she was like real down. And the nurse goes, are you nervous you're going to lose this child? And she's like, is this your first? And my mom goes, no, this is my sixth. And she goes, is this your first and my mom goes no this is my sixth and she goes you go right ahead and lose That baby

Imagine if a nurse said that today she'd be executed on the spot so different before social media. Yeah, it was so cool What is that is it? Accountability is it that we're now influenced by so many different people? Is it like a lot of it is just more bullshit? Like people can't just say what they really think because they're just terrified they're going to get attacked by so many people so you bullshit more? And that lady was telling the truth. Yeah, she was telling the truth. That's all she did. And she was in a weird way She was trying to encourage your mother to feel better like hey, you've got six kids. You're gonna be fine

This is you're good. Yeah, you can lose this one right? She was just being serious by the way Charlie's in his 50s He's fine Amazing they didn't know a lot back then you know, I don't know which one of your brothers I've met you've met Jimmy I know that and he tortures me He's like I want that car. I'm like, which car he's a car guy the Bronco Like I'll come now I'll take it I remember this one night at the comedy crazy

I don't know if you'll remember this because it was more like I was a nervous wreck Jimmy was visiting He worked so like he installed computers all over the country So he would come to LA a lot and he just pop in to the Comedy Store and we'd be like, oh shit My brother's here. So we're hanging out you were we were all hanging out like in the What does it call like the back with the parking lot is kind of but like in the side, you know in the little yeah, so you're sitting on the the ledge and Don Barrett's was saying crazy shit to me, right and in a way had Don does it we love it We love it, but I'm dying and he's saying like horrible shit

All right, but we're crying laughing and then and Jimmy was like just taking it in like the fuck is this? And then and Jimmy was like just taking it in like the fuck is this? Don look at his calves Rethink what you're saying cuz Jimmy has these ridiculous calves, and he's like Popeye and he was wearing shorts Yeah, of course jean shorts. I'm positive. He's an idiot But I was like Don you're about to get smacked like dude calm down You're like done. It just made me laugh so hard like every time I think about but Jimmy was in a lot men who don't know Or understand dangerous men are hilarious and Jimmy walks on his knuckles He's got giant hands like yeah, everybody always sees his hands and look oh god

It was also from a different part of the world right it's basically picking a fight with a Russian Philadelphia Animals they're not they fight way more often so like Philly Boston There's like there's like a few cities like that parts of New York where you better shut the fuck off man Yeah, just take it in they'll they'll fucking hit you quick a lot quicker than you think like You're not gonna have any room for talking your way out of this you get hit. It's not gonna help Don Harris was I remember Don's face like what I remember thinking like oh my god. What happens here? She brought this gonna beat the fuck out of poor Don Barrett

And Don's just saying though, you know, but that was a thing though. Don would do that to everybody. He would go on stage in the later spot, the last spot in the OR and that show was done. It was done two hours ago and somehow or another there's still people in the audience. So those people in the audience, they're the strangest of people. Like some of them are just ne'er-do-wells, nothing's ever worked out for them. But then finally, at 1.30am in Hollywood on the Sunset Strip on Tuesday, they found their tribe. They found their tribe. And it's just them and a few other fucking scragglers and Don Barris and

Don Barris is telling you how big his dick is and he's like his foot on the table staring people the eye he's just doing he's developed this style to do like kind of anything to get laughter out of people that have seen everything everything you have to understand for people that are listening how the Comedy Store works. You get there, the show starts on a regular night, starts at eight o'clock. What is it? What is it? Potluck. What night is it starting on Potluck? Potluck's Monday now. It was Sunday and Monday for a while. It was Sunday, Monday, Tuesday for a while. We were dying. What time Tuesday too? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What time, when does Potluck start?

I think it starts at 7. Okay, so that might be, Don Baris might go on at the end of all the comics who go on after the end of all the open micers. So there's, there might be people that are on fucking all kinds of shit. Oh yeah. And they're just like... Methadone, fucking Adderall. How many drinks they had... Their whole life's a mess. They've been texting their ex through the entire show and she's not texting back.

These are fucking lost, lost people. The dregs of society. And Don Barris would have them left over. Yeah. And I've seen people like women walk out on their guys because they're just... Don's like, let me spit in your mouth you know what I'm like you want another rum and coke like I'm trying to sell drinks he was just trying I mean he did he essentially developed a style oh yeah just the king of late night yeah well he put on a show right right it wasn't just his stand-up like he had a show

Yeah, like he really need he'll play music sometimes Yeah, there was a lot going on. It was entertaining you which is interesting. It's like he's he's an entertainer He's truly the freest of entertainers like when I go up. I'm I still get nervous I don't know if you get nervous at all sure you do When I go up, I still get nervous. I don't know if you get nervous at all. Sure. You do? Yeah, sure.

Sometimes I feel like an idiot. If you care about something, you're going to get nervous. There you go. Yeah. That's what it is. And so I panic a little. But Don Barrett just doesn't, he just walks up like, hey, it's me. Maybe it's from years of doing the warmup as well.

I think that too. I think it's a reps thing. How many reps do you put on stage? Some of those guys in New York that were hosts? They would get better really quick It's especially at their delivery because if you're hosting these nights in New York where people are doing seven minutes You're going on stage or interacting with the crowd over and over and over again Yeah, and you find a way to be yourself. It's like the inauthentic thing that a person does on stage. You feel it while you're doing it.

The audience feels it. And they might laugh still, but you know that you're not really. But then when someone figures out how to be just them, for whatever reason, like Sebastian, he had to figure that out sure you know it took him a minute but he did and when he figured it out it was like instantaneous murdering the best it went from a guy trying to figure it out to oh i got it Joey do you remember the early days of Joey Joey Diaz yes interesting would you remember i do Joey used do! Joey used to bomb. Joey used to bomb. It was crazy. It didn't make any sense.

He was the funniest guy in the parking lot and Then he would get tense when he would go on stage and he wouldn't have a good set. It just wasn't him. Interesting. It was like more jokey joke. Like he was trying to be a comedian. He was trying to be some guy that's on late night television or something. Maybe because I saw him in this that light the parking lot light or he would fuck with me if I was waiting tables So I would make me laugh. I so I didn't I didn't judge what he did on stage the funniest guy of all time Talking to people. Oh, yeah There's a few of us hanging around and Joey came over all of a sudden the life of the party was there

Yeah, everybody had a big smile on their face Here, you know, and it would be fun, but he it took him a while and what it was was like getting his heart broken by Deals that didn't happen Agents that didn't follow through Managers that fucked him up or fucked him over. Yep. And then he eventually is like, fuck these people, fuck these people. And he just brought that energy on stage. He thought it was over.

He thought, I don't have a career. I'm probably going back to prison. I just got out of prison. When I met Joey, he was not out of prison very long. No. I mean, yeah. When did he come to LA? 96, 7, 5? Somewhere around that. Okay. No. I mean, yeah, 90. When did he come to LA? 96? 7? Somewhere around that. Yeah.

I know I was on news radio because Joey would come visit me on the set and they would be like, who's this fucking criminal that's eating all the shrimp? Like this, leave him alone. He would go in the VIP because the VIPs had their own separate like green room. Yeah. And they actually could watch the performance from the green room, I think, in one of the sets. So anyway, they had like really good food because it was like network executives. Of course.

And so they had shrimp cocktail. And so- When Hollywood was alive. You got Joey Diaz, this fucking savage. And he was, Joey was like built like a football player back then too. Like Joey wasn't like big belly Joey. Joey was like 235, 240 pounds jacked, big Cuban dude.

He was kind of street, kind of sketchy, little scary, you know, like high energy 35 year old Joey, you know? And so they were like, who the fuck is this guy? That's so funny. That's a great image. So it just took something happened to Joey. It was right around the time when he got big too, where his belly got big. It's just like he just gave, didn't give a fuck about anything anymore.

And he figured out a way to just be that guy who he was in the parking lot on stage and he did it like that. He did it like that. Theo Vaughn did it like that. Theo Vaughn, I remember that. did it like that. He did it like that feel Vaughn did it like that feel Vaughn I remember that did it like now. I remember his yeah, I remember his break for sure beginning It was like this guy's funny. I'm sure weird. The act is weird. He seems awkward, but but Interesting he was trying to please too many people or something or trying to be something you wasn't and then once he started being himself, unbelievable. It was just finding that authenticity, you know, and that's like exactly what we're talking

about with with like these hosts in New York when they do all these sets. If you can get a job hosting, I know it doesn't pay anything and you're committed to it all night long. Like if you're a commie, you definitely make more money on the road sure But that is there's something to that in terms of like training sessions Yeah, first of all you have to start the show which is the worst death I always tell those guys at the mothership like you for the first five minutes. You're doing a job Yep, a real job a real job like for the the first five minutes you're massaging people's feet. You're like fucking washing hair. You're fucking polishing people's nails. You're doing a job. You feel good? It's not as simple as like you just doing your act. You gotta get the audience

hypnotized. Yeah. You gotta get them hypnotized to laugh. When I open for dice, that's how it is. It's a cold, you just go out there. Sometimes people are like, are you going to introduce yourself? I'm like, what kind of assholes? Callan was at the Irvine Improv once and I opened for him just for fun. It was just cold open. It's hard. It was fun. It was a good time. It was fun. But it was like, whoa, we're jumping right into this. It's a little easier because they were happy to see me go fit, but I but if it was not that sort of situation You know and you're no unknown Right, and you're not the person that people came to see they're like alright. What do we got here?

And if you're a chick oh forget it that is I've always said this and I think this needs to be recognized like women are limited I've always said this and I think this needs to be recognized like women are limited in The way the audience is willing to perceive them right off the bat just willing Willing to you have to break through boundaries right in order for them to take you even remotely serious Like you start off if a man starts off at zero a woman goes on stage. She starts off at negative three Minimum immediate immediately if a guy sees a girl go on stage, how many guys like your brother, if he sees a girl walk on stage they're like, oh. Oh, for with Dice, they look at me when I come out they're like, is this a sacrifice? What is this? Who's this? But now they know me. But once you're proven, they're like, oh, okay.

Cool. But it's a harder gig. It's a harder gig for a woman, and then women have these two other boundaries. If you talk about sex, then people think you're a slut and they disrespect you, right? Or you can talk about how men suck. You can talk about a few things. You can't talk about politics.

You start talking about politics to a bunch of men like shut the fuck up I got opinions too they'll just start they just start yelling at you bullshit that's back in Russia collusion in the steel dossier they'll start yelling at you like facts and things you can't talk politics it goes back to the 50s like you're who are you to why are you speaking what is wrong with you if you're a guy you can do political humor. There's not a lot of female political satirists I think of all the Mortsals and the Lenny Bruces. It goes back to the 60s

How many women would you put in the political satirist category? Right. I mean, now Roseanne. Roseanne. Roseanne was kind of like forced into that. They forced her into that. True. Yeah, I guess. I mean, it's not, well, it's political in that we talk about like abortion and stuff

like that. Actually, I shouldn't say she was forced into that because that was one of the issues that they had with her when she was on that show is that she loved Trump. Right, she got fired for it. She got fired for her opinion. She got fired because she was ambient up. In the middle of the night she made some tweets about the lady from the government that looks like the lady from the Planet of the Apes. Yeah. Yeah, and she didn't know that that lady was black. She thought that lady was Jewish.

And she talks about it on stage, she's like, I thought that bitch was Jewish. And if you look at her, you get it. Like, she's very light-skinned, and she has straight hair, and, you know, unfortunately, the joke that she was making, the only reason why she could make that joke is because it kind of works. Right. Like, you know. It's pretty accurate. Right, but it's not, she was just an old lady who has mental health issues Who's on Ambien and a host of other drugs and people wanted to ruin her life for something? She didn't even fucking remember doing that's the crazy part They do they dope people up with all kind of wild shit

And then they make you responsible for what you did when you're on that wild shit that seems so crazy Ambien's the fucking scariest to me Kevin James made a turkey And they make you responsible for what you did when you were on that wild shit? That seemed so crazy. Ambien's the fucking scariest to me. Kevin James made a turkey. I think it was a turkey. He made a meal. On Ambien. And then woke up in the morning, saw the plate of food.

He's like, what the fuck? He thought someone broke into his house and cooked. He didn't remember anything. I was living with Dice when he was on Ambien. It was brutal. He would move the car in the middle of the night. We thought it got stolen one time and here he parked it in front of somebody's driveway. So they towed it. But he moved the fucking car. I'm like, dude. He would wake me up as these characters.

He was... Listen. It's enough to live with Dice. I don up as these characters. He was, he was, listen, it's enough to live with dice. I don't need extra characters. He would wake you up as characters. He would do this black guy. I forgot his name. He would do this military guy. It's always, hey, wake up. And I'm like, ah, like my father's back.

What? You know, like crazy. So funny. Oh yeah. That's so funny. He would do he was- That's so funny. He would do some crazy shit. So I believe Kevin doing that. Andrew would eat wild stuff.

Oh yeah, people do that. There's people that have been in like shootouts with the cops. Mm-hmm, he got off it. Thank God. Is Kevin off it, I hope? I do not know. Wasn't there someone who like drove to his?

pair his in-laws house and killed them with a crowbar Oh Jesus with something crazy That's some guy did something crazy on ambient. That's ambient and anger mixed. Well. Yeah, the thing is it's like you could Take a person who's not that smart and maybe has a real problem with their in-laws you know like maybe the maybe the father and him have even gone to blows you know who knows that shit happens you get a picnic too many Bud lights next thing you know dudes are doing it out here at sleepwalker acquitted of murdering mother-in-law after 15 mile drive what what the fuck dude? Look how we're so ghetto. We have to, we can't even look through the LA Times. Well just, they nickel and diming everybody. You have to pay for everything. It's like a Toronto. A man was acquitted of murdering. Oh, it's Canada. It's Canada. It's Toronto. They're living in Narnia up there.

Yeah, yeah. A man was acquitted of murdering his mother-in-law after saying he was sleepwalking when he drove 15 miles to her house and hit her with an iron bar and repeatedly stabbed her. Ontario Supreme Court deliberated nine hours before finding Kenneth Parks nearby pickering not guilty on Thursday. What about the Ambien though? More, they try to hit you again. Is that what he was drinking? Joko? Whatever that is? Does it say Ambien? Does it say it's just sleepwalking? It just said sleepwalking, right?

It says because he's in a sleep state. There is a, my nephew's a sleepwalker. But was this guy on Ambien? Does it have anything to do with Ambien? Or is it a different story? Well, that's what I typed in and that's what popped up. Let me see if Yeah, there was something about a guy. That's so crazy. Maybe I fucked the story up

Similar that's so similar might have fucked the story up. This happened in 1987. So was ambient even around? Oh, wow. No, this is not that story then. It's definitely a more recent story. 87? Yeah, because no, this is a story while I was a grod ass man. Okay. Living in Los Angeles it happened, I remember. I don't remember what, I thought it happened in America. No, it might have been Canada.

Canada is silly. They are silly. It's like if you let your cousin Who's like 17 run the house while you go out of town for a week? And then you come back home like what the fuck are you doing? That's Canada Local cases involving man who shot at five people test ambient defense in court. That's a recent one, huh? That's 2023. Oh, shit.

Is it, so what is this guy trying to say? I just, he said- He shot at five people while he was on Ambien. Oh, wow. He said, no member of the shooting, two random cars in the middle of the night four years ago. But he's probably telling the truth. And I know Roseanne is telling the truth.

I know she's telling the truth. She was on Ambien and she was smoking weed. And I think, I don she's telling the truth. Yeah, she was on ambient and she was smoking weed and I think I don't know if she's drinking alcohol, but Listen Roseanne likes to party. Yeah, but also She likes to party and she's drinking and doing it. That's a that's a real dangerous combo and look everybody should understand this Because you kind of know but you really need to know And I talked to there's one of the reasons why I Had Roseanne on my podcast right after she got in trouble

I wanted everybody to know what I know Roseanne got hit by a car Yeah When she was 15 years old and she spent nine months in a mental health Institute and she was a child She couldn't count after that just straight A's in math After that she couldn't do math that. She had straight A's in math. After that she couldn't do math. She was fucked up. And that wild impulsiveness led to an amazing career as a stand-up comedian that probably

came at least somewhat, some part of it came, obviously came out of her creativity and her performing and her work ethic and all the good things that are. Funny. She's awesome. But that wildness is part of that injury. And that wildness exists in football players, it exists in former fighters, it exists in, there's a lot of people that are running around out there

that have brain injuries. And if you get someone a brain injury and then you dope them up with Ambien and then marijuana and then who knows what the fuck out you're taking ketamine and fucking Fox News she's just mainline and Fox News she's just fucking Tower 7 Tower 7 she's just taking it you have a device that you can tell everybody what you're feeling in that moment. That's crazy. And you're, you know, it's like, you're trying to get responses out of people. See what the people think. It's almost like testing an audience for some people. And if they don't understand how to manage it, like psychologically,

how many comics have we seen just get addicted to like being on Twitter all day? Like get out of there man. You're you're losing your life in that box. It's insane. It's insane. I don't know how people do it. It's so bad for you. I'm a little addicted to TikTok. Yeah TikTok. Is this an intervention? No it's not. I'm just kidding. But I think I wonder if TikTok is, I wonder if it's better for you to just scroll at videos of things happening that are nonsense. Sometimes there's news, but... But maybe that's better, because that doesn't like, I don't have TikTok, but I have Instagram, and Instagram does not make me feel the way that Twitter makes me feel. Twitter makes me feel like I'm watching a fight between cats. Like it's a cat fight in a house I just want to get the fuck out. I don't want to be a part of this

Yeah, and it's also like a very poor. It's it's a very clearly poor management of Time and resources if you're using your time and resources to argue constantly on Twitter But your your life has to be a mess It has to be a mess. It's impossible for you to only be disciplined Like in this area where you like contain yourself in this area the rest of your life though. Everything's locked down You don't have any problems, but when you go after Twitter, it doesn't affect you. It doesn't affect the rest of your life bullshit Bullshit, you're fighting with the invisible man, but that stuff is out there forever It's yeah, it's out there forever And it's also just if it's a 100% proof that you are engaging in a foolish waste of your resources exactly

100% undeniable proof dice would have been in as much trouble as Roseanne if Twitter was it might have been a thing but he probably didn't know how to use it But no cuz we well he was one year how long she's been he'd been so many controversies But I'm saying with the ambient expect it from dice the maybe yeah Roseanne was like America's controversial collar sweetheart for the longest time when she was on TV Yeah, right. She was beloved and then she grabbed her pussy I was gonna say she did some shit, the national anthem. Who knows what she was on back then? Right, right, right, right. Listen, this lady, they've been

Medicaid-ing this lady left and right her whole life and she's always she's always like I don't know if they got the formula right this time. Let's let's move So good, she got a lot of money and I'm sure those doctors Sure, those doctors are helping out but you know like they were telling her at one point in time that they were threatening her royalties That if she kept talking about things Her show yeah, but they can do things. They can pull deals. See, like, if you're not making any money anymore, but you own a piece of a television

show and also we're dealing with, it's 2024. I'm not in the TV business anymore, but I kind of know how it works. In 2024, I don't know how many people are buying old sitcoms. I'm sure like Netflix and streaming sites, maybe they could use. But if they just decide, hey, we don't want Roseanne on the platform, there's shows you can't get. Yeah. Like 90 sitcoms, you can't find Grace Under Fire.

Try finding that show. No, and I loved that. I loved her, I should say. She used to work at the store. She was wild, but she was funny. I think towards the end of her tenure there. She might fucking lost the plot. She got I remember her showing up She was crazy. I heard she's got a little a little nuts and she had Funny yeah, very funny comic. Yeah. Yeah, she would call and ask me to do her like bizarro favors at the store and

Yeah, like just to see if I call my cat She would have like crushes on certain comics, so she's like so call me if they come in I'm like I was like are you coming in cuz you're like hilarious. You're one of the ones I laugh at so are you coming in? But she then she just stopped coming, But I think she did have some. But there's a thing called TV Land, which goes way back, I believe. Because I have nieces and nephews that are like, Jersey, I love Lucy.

I'm like, yeah, and reruns. And they're like, oh, it's my favorite show. But they watch it now on TV Land. Is TV Land, is that? I think it's a channel. Or it could be on an app. I don't know. I can't keep up with the kids. I think it's a channel. Or it could be on an app. I don't know. I can't keep up with the kids.

Maybe it's both. I think the most... I still have cable. It's why I don't own a house. It's very expensive. Most things have to be both now. Like, you can't just be a channel anymore. You kind of have to be a channel and an app. Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah. If you're just a channel...

Or they've merged with the apps. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, my nieces watch the oldest shows, and, you know, I don't see, like, nobody comes up and says, like, so yeah, my niece is watch the oldest shows and you know I don't see like nobody comes up and says like the bunkers or what's that called? Archie all in the family all in the family. That's my favorite, but people don't say that one to me So I wonder if that's available, but it's definitely available because people send me little videos like Instagram

Yeah, you see him on tik-tok. I don't use that Chinese spyware. I prefer my spyware to be American. Oh yeah, good for you. I want people in this country sneaking around in my data and finding out what I'm researching. I'm so lonely I want them all to know where I'm at at every moment. Does India have an app? Let's go. Bring it on bitches. Come on over guys. Let's go bring it on bitches Yeah, it's just weird. It's tick-tock But I my nieces were like you have to get on tick-tock so I did but I stink at it I don't know. I don't know how to excel at it. I do watch the videos though. Well, you gotta be trans First of all, hey, can you?

Can you least fake it? No, it's not fair. I want to transition when I was a kid and my mom wouldn't let me I begged I begged I think I was like seven or eight. I wanted to transition when I was a kid and my mom wouldn't let me. I begged. I begged I think I was like seven or eight. I wanted to be a male bodybuilder Really? And my mom was like... Imagine if that was around today and you lived in Santa Monica Oh, I would be halfway somewhere at least if I was a kid now. Yeah, I'd have one nut maybe, half a tit We'll see but I'm saying like I would I begged I told my mom I wanted I took a picture out of a male bodybuilders

Magazine I ripped it out and I was like, this is what I want and my mom was like the guy I like no, I want to trans I want to be a male bodybuilder and I want it I didn't know transition I just said I want to be a bully and she was so mad because she had Four boys in a row and she begged for a little girl and then I came out and I'm like, what's up, motherfucker? How much of that you what's up motherfuckers was affected by the fact that you have all those brothers? Sure, just surround.

I didn't know any difference. It has to be, right? Yeah, of course. Because my little sister Edie is, she's not girly by any means, but she's not as butchie as I was. But she still played the sports and stuff and fought, whatever. But she didn't, she wasn't, we were just surrounded.

You know, the two of us, if we had dolls, they'd rip their heads off, you know, so I'd be like, oh cool, it looks better. And then we color it in and just do dumb shit. So I don't remember girly stuff. I know my mom would beg me to do it or wear a dress. And then I played rumble fumble in my communion dress. She was pissed.

Well, then just the amount of boy behavior, and you're trying to fit in, and you're the youngest. Yeah. And well, not the youngest. Well, at the time. Yeah. And then I remember this boy saying to me, because I liked boys, but I was very boy-like.

How many older brothers do you have? I have five older brothers. Okay. So when you were born, you're born into a home with five boys. Surrounded. Crazy people. So that's the early developmental time where you're kind of like forming your view of the world.

Yeah. You have no evidence that girls are even real. For years. My sisters didn't talk to me. Why am I not like these? Yeah, and if you have no evidence the girls are even real for years for years To me, why am I not like these I? Did I had to share a room with my sisters and they my mom put this big leg canopy bed in there and it's a little tiny Row home in the middle room is like a glorified closet and so she put this canopy bed in there

You could barely open the door and then when I in that, I wet the bed for a long time, so they kicked me out. So I had to sleep in my brother's room. So there was seven of us in the front room. I don't know why I'm pointing like it's over there, but you know what I'm saying. So I was now I'm in the room with that and that's all I know, that's it. So I'm doing everything they do.

I'm playing football, I'm outside with a helmet. What? Is she slow? No, she's got a game. And you know what I mean? Like I was joking on the, I did the R U Garbage podcast with those guys. They're so funny.

And I remembered a story because they were asking questions and I remembered when I would play like handball or stickball, I take my shirt off and tuck it in the back of my pants and spit and everything. Like no shirt. Like and my mother saw me, Jesus Christ, you know, but I was eight or something. I don't know. Right.

But I didn't care. I was like, that's what they do. Isn't it funny that a woman's nipples mean something? Why? Yeah. It's very,. I mean, it's so odd, because even a woman that has the smallest of breasts, her nipples are like, you can see them.

It literally is the same form as a young boy. If you have a 13-year-old boy and a very thin woman who has no breasts, they're very similar Yeah, but one of them when you realize it's a woman. Oh And that crazy you Literally looking at the same organ the same part of the body same as I want you looking at a vagina Or a dick. Yeah, those are significantly different. Yeah're just looking at nipples. Female nipples make you go, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh uh Baby these hotties these hotties are pulling out what giant melons and they like shake him in front of the audience and squeeze them And then they stuff them in the fake face of a fake baby

And this one girl she's got her other tit out to like fuck it What if he gets hungry on the other side so she's got both kids out fake baby Fake tits do big giant ass fake tits and fake, baby And it's you're allowed to do it because you're allowed to show breastfeeding for educational purposes. Oh so this is how I'm gonna get more followers. You just gave me the insight. These hoes are scandalous. Check out my new TikTok. They know. Wow. I don't know if it's a TikTok thing. I bet it'll probably get you kicked off TikTok. There here they go. Oh look at the baby. Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph. That fake baby and the big ass fake today. There's a lot of fake things on there. What a filter by the way.

This one's not a lot of attention. That's the one I'd watch with the football play. Like an idiot. There's quite a few of these going around. Wow. Glad you knew about that. The most obvious. That's a shitty fake baby. It is. That's a dead baby. That's a doll. People are writing, your baby's obvious. That's a shitty fake baby. It is. It is. That's a dead baby. That's a doll. People are writing, your baby's dead. No, but people...

Your milk is poisonous, lady. There's some people that get really good fake babies. Wow. Where you have to look at the baby real close. I think that's a rubber baby. So they're just getting away with showing their tits. Showing their tits. God. Okay. Okay.

I think essentially it's an ad for OnlyFans. I was going to say, yeah, oh, that's... Oh, God. Yeah. So that's somebody's fetish Yeah, it's well. It's just the fact that they get to show their tit I don't even think it's someone's fetish. It's probably definitely someone's fetish. Let me let's be clear Yeah, someone there's at all the freaks in the world some guys out there jerking off to women Breastfeeding for sure, but it's not that it's it's just an opportunity to show your tits

Oh, absolutely But now my my boobs are starting to grow. I don't know why Late in life. I don't know if it's hormone. I don't know like but for years like Nothing, and now all of a sudden I'm like this doesn't fit what's happening. So I'm gonna start These guys just came in. I didn't even know I was a girl. Let them go. Free the nipple. That was the thing in New York City where they were like illegally arguing that women should be able to walk around Topliss because men can walk around Topliss. Yeah. I saw a protest in Asheville one time and I was having lunch with Carl LeBauve. We were doing a festival down there and it was packed.

Like, and it was, we were were both like I'm not gay but watching them flap while you're what it's just I was like oh wow that's what they're supposed to look like and then Carl just on the floor like holy shit I'm gonna move here. Isn't it interesting that that's controversial that like there's laws that will tell you so look if there's laws about a man exposing himself in public, that makes sense because that's like a public health danger and it's danger because the vast majority of like sexual predators, especially for like younger people are men, right? Right? So a guy with his dick out in public is like a public safety hazard. A woman with her tits

out is really, no one's scared. Well, it's because of the predators probably. Right. They're trying to keep them off? That's my point. That's my point. It's like it's the only time where a law is in that where you don't have any fear whatsoever about that person harming someone with their body, but yet you make their body a crime. Right. You make showing parts of their body a crime. Like you get a ticket or you get right. I think they could probably even arrest you for public community exposure.

Yeah. But meanwhile, I could walk right next to that lady with my shirt off and there's no problems at all. But didn't before I think the men got the right to take their shirt off wasn't until like the fifties or 40s for a long time. They weren't allowed to either. Is that real? I believe so.

That's hilarious. Yeah. What they do on construction sites? What they just arrest everybody? I what do you mean? They can't be shirtless at a construction site. Job can't wear it. You can't be shirtless.

They only were shirtless when they were having lunch maybe. But have you ever worked at construction site? Are you out of your fucking mind? Wait a minute. Are you talking crazy? I'm seeing them in the vest and the shirt. Maybe today. Because I'd sit there and watch for a long time, if that was true.

If we were working outside, I did mostly construction jobs when I was in high school. My stepfather was an architect, so I got a lot of jobs on building sites. And so I'd just get jobs as a laborer. That was a good job to get because you could always get them in there. It's hard work. You would be outside topless constantly. 91, court lets stand law bearing topless men. Supreme Court Monday lets stand a local ordinance prohibiting, this is in Washington, prohibiting males from jogging topless or otherwise appearing in public without wearing shirts.

The court refused to review the constitutionality of a statute from the village of Southampton, New York, making it illegal for anyone to appear on a public street shirtless. That's a very specific area. So that's like, this is Southampton, New York. It's what they're talking about. I know when I lived in Boston, when we were working in the summer, we always had shirts off. You get a great tan. I can see it as a roofer, of course, things like that, but I don't know, I'm just picturing maybe people-

It's fucking hot. Of course, it's crazy hot. It's hot, you're carrying lumber, and the building that you're building has no ventilator, it has nothing. It's just frames. Yeah. You're basically helping carpenters frame. Sure. I'm my head I'm seeing them like right now with the vest on but maybe that's just my fantasy

That's the summertime. No shirt is easy. Oh, yeah, the hard one is wintertime. No heat Yeah, cuz I had wintertime no heat gigs. Whoa, those are especially in Boston Yeah, I had some of those right after I graduated from high school And they were awake call Hey fuckface, you gotta figure out what you want to do with your life or this is gonna be you forever Being in the winter with numb feet moving shit around on a construction site Fingers being frozen. I hate that would have like a little public key a little public Portable heater that we would all gather around to eat lunch

So you'd all stand around this blowtorch while you're eating lunch like that's so dangerous, but amazing. It wasn't really a blowtorch It's like you ever seen one of those like they have months. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she fell and I Did fear factor we did I did fear the Chappelle show, so I came in and Tyrone Biggums was on Fear Factor. Hey Joe Rogan! I remember. They filmed that in the dead of winter in New York in this warehouse, like this space, whatever they were filming at.

And they had one of them heaters. So they would have them on set sometimes. Got it. It's like this big tube. Yeah. And it gets hot as fuck. But they cause fires. You basically can cook a grilled cheese sandwich in front of it. It's like this big tube. Yeah. And it gets hot as fuck. You basically can cook a grilled cheese sandwich in front of it. Oh yeah. Yeah. You can light on fire.

Very dangerous. Yeah. So we would gather around in front of one of those fucking things. And just be like. Just freezing our dicks off and then go right back out there. You gotta carry in the cement, carry in the lumber. That was your motivation. Well it was just a wake up call. Yeah. Like you don't want to be doing no hard labor, son. Yeah. But the point is, like, we could have no shirts on, and walk around, no one cared. But if we were a bunch of gals framing rooftops

with our tits out, all the local hens. You can wear the bra. That's why girls now think they'll just wear a bra. They didn't want to wear a bra. They just wanted to let their tits out like a guy does. All the local hens. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, put your tits on, you dirty bitch.

You fucking dirty bitch. My husband's looking at your dirty tits. Sometimes I'll see, like on Melrose and stuff, you see him walking around and they have these short shorts. One time me and Andrew were just at Starbucks hanging out on Melrose in LA. And these kids were walking by. I mean, they were kids. And he just like turned away and I go, what happened? And it was a girl, like her entire ass was out.

It was, the shorts were all the way out and he just turned away like, that's a baby. I'm not looking at that. Yeah, I know, I know, but that's what they do. I don't know if that's a teenage thing. Well, I mean, I think that's again, there's always been girls that dress like that or close to that, right?

Go, you can go way back to the 80s. I tried, I wore cute little hot pants in the 80s. Yeah, I used to wear a bustier because I started clubbing like when I was 14. Oh my God, Eleanor, what a fucking background. Hey, what? The perfect background to be a comic. True.

Well, once that, this is what happened with the boy, like me wanting to be a boy, I liked boys. And this one really good looking kid that played football, he was like, and I'm like standing there, I remember like I'm wearing shoulder pads, idiot. And he goes, are you ever gonna be a girl? And I was like, oh. And then I asked another guy friend,

I go, how come so and so doesn't like me? And they're like, because he thinks you could beat him up. Like, nobody's attracted to the girl who may or may not be able to knock him out. So I stopped. And I was like, oh. And then boys started to like me. And I was like, oh.

You had to learn a new pattern of behavior. Yes. But I still am like, watch it had to learn a new pattern of behavior. Yes. But I still am like, watch it. Like when guys start wearing cologne. Right. Like, oh, OK, I'm going to clean up. I stink. Yeah.

I still am not so grateful to be a woman. It bothers me a lot. Does it? Because I still have that in me. That's hilarious. It would be so much easier to just be a dude. Do you think they could have talked you into being trans if you were like 12?

Absolutely. 100%. Isn't that crazy? And I'm good friends with Dylan Mulvaney. We did a pilot together. That's hilarious. Dylan was not trans when I met them. How do you say it? I don't know.

Be careful. You're gonna get in trouble. She knows I love her so I can't say anything wrong. But I literally... So you knew her when she was a hero. Right. And we had the best time. But meeting her when I did, I was like, oh, she's more woman than I ever was, ever will be. Like I know I have the parts even with a dick I Felt I'm telling you more girly than I mean girly girly and my best friend growing up Was like a very kind person you're a very kind person and I just want to introduce this thought into your mind. Oh People are performative occasionally And sometimes when people want you to think of them

in one way or another, they will behave that way. And people can keep that up for... I didn't know them from anybody, we just met. Right. So you're saying she was performing. Well I think deciding that you're a woman, and then performing like a woman, is a thing that we can all do. I deciding that you're a woman right and then performing like a woman Oh, I think okay thing that we can all do I see what you're saying if you met me

Eleanor if you met me and you're like, oh my god, Joe Rogan is a woman like Thinks like a woman behaves like a woman has off this he's all feminine woman energy like so sweet So amazing It's performative. I think you're a biological man Women energy, like so sweet, so amazing. It's performative. Like you're a biological man. Well you don't think you could be-

And there's a lot of social value in being trans today. There's a lot of- Oh, I agree with you on that. You get attention for having nothing interesting about you other than the fact that you're a boy who wants to be a girl right that's it and that is like a crazy low barrier to entry to be a part of a protected class and to be celebrated for people that will never be celebrated but you don't believe people can be born and have like mixed up

things I do okay I believe both things I believe both things I believe yes this is what we have to be wary about because when you see these cluster cases like particularly young girls We get like ten girls that are on the spectrum and they all go trans in the school together That's crazy. And you you have to realize that people are Motivated just like you were when you were a young girl and you were dressing like a boy and acting like a boy and then you Go, oh, I got to not do that anymore. And then now boys like me. People are motivated by behaviors that get them positive reinforcement. And there's this in this time in this day and age, there's immense amount of positive reinforcement of being a part of the LBGT pride, it is right and I that makes sense

Because it's a natural reaction to the the times when we were kids or gay people were shunned and shit on And it was up until 2013 Hillary Clinton didn't it was saying that she didn't think that Marriage should be between gay men. It should be between a man and a woman. Barack Obama used to say that. They all used to say it. So imagine being a gay person back then. And so there's like this natural overcorrection. So we're in this overcorrection right now. But this overcorrection gets co-opted by opportunists who are just narcissists, just people with mental illness

and people who realize that they can get a tremendous amount of attention by just fitting into this new play. And it's also a great way for perverts and sex offenders to weasel in. If you were a guy and you were really into dogs you get a job as a dog trainer Okay, right guys really into dogs. Yeah, he loves working with dogs. You're a pedophile When you get a job a Nickelodeon, right? You would right? Yeah, well, isn't there like a scandal that's going on right now? Yeah bad. What is what is the Nickelodeon's Dan guy? Scandal that's going on right now. Yeah bad. What is the Nickelodeon's Dan guy?

Really a new one. I just like kids. I just like working with kids I just like being around them and being alone with them priests being alone with them. I like being alone Yeah, just just me and the kid camp counselors What the fuck that's's fucked up. But there's humans that recognize that there's like patterns that they can fall into, where they can get more attention, get more praise. So this is the Nickelodeon thing. It says the actors claimed you were sexually abused by dialogue and acting coach Brian Peck, who pleaded no contest to performing a lewd act with a 14 or 15 year old and to oral copulation with a minor under 16 in 2004. Ultimately sentenced to 16 months in prison and ordered to register as a sex

offender in October 2004. His first interview since the release of the Doc Bell has shared his thoughts on Nickelodeon's response to the allegations. Yeah I mean how do you know when someone, I mean, if you hire, you're hoping you're hiring people that just like, like making kids shows, maybe they have kids. But why can't the parent be present? Like this, this kind of shit, but like they say kids that get molested and stuff like that. A lot of times it's parents just being like giving them off, you know, like, and not being

present. There was, I mean, you know, like, and not being present. There was, I mean, I feel, I think about it, I'm like, why didn't we get molested? We were on our own for a long time. I dodged a couple bullets when I was a kid. Did you really? Yeah. But it's, you're, you're trusting people. And most people you can trust and you hope you can trust these people.

Yeah. Did you know about UFC heavyweight champion, former Heavyweight Champion Kane Velasquez? What happened? His son was apparently by daycare and he went after the guy and shot at him from his car and got arrested and was in jail for like a year. I think he's still awaiting trial. But it was literally one of those things where Everybody that hears that that's a father if you ask them What would you do if that happened like they everyone says the same thing if you can get away with sleepwalking and killing your mother-in-law

You should be away with fucking blind rage that makes you shoot at some guy who? Molested your kid listen. I don't have children and if that happened to one of my nieces and nephews I'd be the one who's not it's just... I'd lose it. It's the most evil of things. It's disgusting. But it's also, it's one of the weird ones that today they're trying to normalize. They're trying to call it minor attracted persons. When I say they, I want to be really clear. No. Yeah, it's just a few fringe psychos. But the problem is that fringe... Those are pedophiles is that fringe psycho dialogue winds up on social media and then gets amplified by places like TikTok that want us to be upset

at these kind of things, whether it's to program us or whether it's just to keep us fighting and then engaging in the algorithm, which is ultimately beneficial for them because that's really what they want is more views and more interactions yeah And so you'll have these wacky fucking people that give these speeches in public with cameras on them where they're talking about we have to Understand this is an identity and this is it should be a protected identity a minor attracted person's like this is not one person saying this Yeah, multiple people saying this but it falls into that same thing. Some people are fucking insane.

I agree. I agree. I just, like my best friend growing up, he was flamboyant from the get. And I mean, we were friends when we were six, seven. So he would always be like, and he made me get into cheerleading because he liked cheerleading. I didn't like cheerleading. And then I was like, can we just do something, can we play football? And then he started, like we would fight. And then we always used to say that we wished

we had a button or we wanted to, there was a cartoon where you can run into each other, Wonder Powers activate or something like that. You run into each other and you become something different. We were gonna run into each other and become, yes. And it never worked. So he waited till both his parents passed and then he transitioned.

But he wanted that his whole life. He just didn't wanna disrespect his parents. It's 100% a real thing. It is. The problem is there's an over- But I agree that there's always people that jump in and act. There is that, and then there's this other thing. The other thing is money.

Oh, yeah. So you have to realize how many gender-affirming care clinics have opened up just since 2007. If you look at the map of 2007 versus 2023, It's crazy the difference. I mean, it's probably now or in 2024, it's probably even more. But the number of those things that they, by the way, they're just like a body shop. You bring a car into a body shop, they're going to want to fix the car. Okay? You bring a kid into a Jennifer Aming care, they're not going to go, Billy, you don't just need to find yourself, man. Maybe you're just a gay man.

They're not gonna just tell them, there's a lot of social pressure on this, and you're very uncomfortable with your own skin, and your own life, and you're thinking that this is gonna be the solution to make you whole. And also, if you're a woman, if they give you testosterone,

you are gonna feel better. So think about testosterone, it makes them, it alleviates anxiety, it does all sorts of different, it creates a sense of euphoria when girls take it in high doses. And my friend, his, someone in his immediate vicinity

is transitioning from a girl to a boy. And he found out like what the dose was the dose of testosterone he goes this is like a hardcore bodybuilder steroid dose of testosterone Wow he's like this person was banging banging like a lot of tests every week holy shit and it was just changing everything, changing their voice, changing the facial structure, growing a mustache, like weird shit. Like knowing someone their whole life as a girl and then all of a sudden they have a fucking beard.

Like what is happening here? Yeah, so of course it's gonna make you feel different. But is that who you really were? Is that who you really are? That's the hard part. I think of that a lot because I think if I did it, if I, you know, how would I feel? Because there are people that do it and then say I want to go back. But yeah, detransitioners. And they get shamed by the way. That's what's really scary. Those people get attacked

but because they're they're fucking it up because here's the thing and you just have to look at it like look at it like a system Mm-hmm Groups of people always want more people in their group always Like people that use Windows PCs will try to convince you that Apple sucks like they will no I have heard it I've heard the argument now trans people unless they're actively trying to reproduce by going to a clinic, so unless you're a trans woman who has a fully functional dick and you're having sex with

a trans man who has a fully functional vagina and hasn't taken so much testosterone that they're no longer fertile, and then even so, like, what's going on there? Yeah. But that's like, it's not the regular way that people have kids. So you and there's no guarantee that you're going to have a trans kid. So there's only one way to get more trans people. You got to recruit. Exactly. You got to recruit. Everybody needs a recruit. If you can't draft, you must recruit. That's what they would say about gay people. They're recruiting. Well, some of them do.

Some do. But that's what I'm saying. There's always a percentage that's good enough for everybody. I had this friend who was gay and he would always talk about how we convince straight guys into letting them suck their dick. Oh my God, I have so many friends. He loved it. He thought it was so funny.

He's like, all these straight guys. Just get them a little drunk and tell them you suck their dick. It's amazing how many of them let you. It's unbelievable. And then there's, I know women that are gay and so forceful. One is like, was so, she would turn women, if you will,

for a period of time, date them, drop them like a bad habit. Now they're all fucking confused. They don't know who they are. Am I gay, am I straight, who am I, what? And then go through all these crazy mental breakdowns. I have two really good friends that like went crazy over this shit and I'm like.

They got turned out by a lesbian. Turned out and turned down. See ya. Bye bitch. Later. Like sometimes lesbians comes as hard as God You know any like same kind of behavior. Yeah drop you just cut you off like you're also you're You're recognizing if you're in that dating game, right? There's like two players in that dating game

Yeah, the strong like successful like, dominator, which could be a woman. Yeah. And then there's a person's like, well sure, I'd love to come to work with you. You know, like the more demure kind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't even have to be male or female. It just has to be, like, there's guys like that, that wind up with these boss ladies. Like, how many boss ladies do you know that have like these really like bag of milk husbands? Like these guys have zero will. Such a great line. They just have no will. There's no drive. If someone breaks into their house they're gonna faint like a possum. They just there's no there's no animal in there. You know it's just it's all gone. He's under the covers. You get, it's just, it's all gone.

He's under the covers. You get him, honey. If it wasn't gone because of environmental conditions or biology, it's gone by the circumstances they find themselves in. They have a dominant woman and she yells at them and they get no sex. I try to not be that way, but I have done that. I have, I have done that. I remember Andrew Dice getting angry.

I always call him Andrew, whatever. Well, when he got angry at me, cause there was like a fight, he got an argument with this guy at 7-Eleven. And I got in between and he was just like, what are you doing? And I was like, I'll kill somebody. What?

You don't want me to help? Like I thought we were on the same team. You know, but he got mad and I was like, okay, you gotta calm down with your bruteness. What? You don't want me to help? Like, I thought we were on the same team. That's hilarious. But he got mad, and I was like, okay, you gotta calm down with your bruteness, okay? And not, you know, throw a man through something. Because I'm an idiot like that. I just, again, like, it comes to growing up with the wrestling,

and like, even like, you and I, when I physically start, really literally start at wrestling, and my mom was like furious at that. Like what are you doing? We used to love going to watch you. But she was mad. We saw you at the forum. It was awesome.

You're a fucking pro wrestler. It was incredible. It was amazing. I loved it. I was like this is so good. Yeah, you were really good at it too. It was fun. It was fun.

My mom started giving me notes. Ah, that's hilarious. But it was entertaining. Sure. It was very entertaining. It's what that's hilarious. But it was entertaining. Sure. What it's supposed to be. And so, yeah, I would have like fun, but you know, now I'm physically

in the ring fighting with people. Like, she was so embarrassed. But there was a point I was going to make and I lost it because my brain. No worries. But yeah, it's just, I'm saying like that whole trajectory of like, I'm still doing boy-like things in a girl's body. And I do believe where you're saying like,

it's like my brother Charlie joking, talking about like, it's hitting everywhere. He went to the doctors and they were asking him questions. And she said, what do you identify as? Now, Charlie's in his 50s. And he goes, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, you know what I mean? I know, it's funny when they bring it up out of nowhere.

What are your pronouns? What are your pronouns? What are you saying? You can see me, bitch. Like, right. How do you identify with your mustache and your gray chest hair? Yeah, and he's sitting there, you know, he's rubbing one out, like, what are you saying? You know, like, but he looked at her

because it's so foreign to him, and the lady apologized. She goes, I'm sorry, I have to ask. Because they... It's like part of the regulations. Yeah. Well, it's probably a DEI thing that they have that's attached to their business. It's so crazy. Yeah. Well, it's Vivek Ramaswamy, that guy was running for president. He's a brilliant

guy and he said some very interesting things. When he said he called it the tyranny of the oppressed, he goes, yeah, it's not good to oppress people. Sure, you should... Everyone He's a brilliant guy and he said some very interesting things when he said he called it the tyranny of the oppressed He goes yeah, it's not good to oppress people sure you should be everyone should be free But it's also not good to give the oppressed so much power That they can just run rampant over everyone else and everybody has to like adhere to their rules Yeah, because they were at one point in time a part of an oppressed class. And I think that's the overcorrection that we're talking about with the trans stuff. The problem is today, it can be pushed in a way that's so different than when we were

kids. When we were kids, if you were a gay guy, you became a priest. Did you have a gay guy in high school that became a priest? Yeah. Yeah, we did. And he's not a pedophile. We used to, no. He's a gay guy in high school that became a priest? Yeah. Yeah, we did. And he's not a pedophile. We used to, no, our guy wasn't a pedophile unless he turned into one. But when I knew him, he was a regular kid.

He was just, he was my friend's sister or my friend's brother. Whoops, Freudian. My friend's brother, she like, you know, they would always talk about, he's going to be a priest. So we were in high school riding the bus together. Yeah. And, we oh, I think people even back then were calling him father He was fucking 15. That's amazing. Yeah, but I had it on him. Everyone knew he was gonna be a priest Yeah, my friend that did it he's now out of it Of the priesthood. Yeah, the priest still gay still queer as they come

But he left the priesthood which was weird cuz we were like, whoa, is he coming out? Is he this? And he left, and now he just said they were changing too many things. Like the literal religion messed him up to get him out. Really? Interesting. What were they changing? The Catholic Church, my mom, please, she doesn't

know how to listen to the podcast. Anyway, the Catholic Church changes on a dime. Like, even something, Lent, right now we're in Lent, right? Right. There were so many rules that my mom had that we don't have, like my generation didn't have, and now it's a whole other, like Lent is, now I'm looking at kids like, what? You could do that? It whole nother. Like Lent is not, now I'm looking at kids like what? You could do that? It's Lent. You're not allowed to, you have to do this, this and this. But they've changed. They just changed so that they can recruit. That's why the Muslims are going to win. They don't give a fuck who joins. That's Ramadan is you got a month and nobody's eating all day long no water no food we were in downtown the other day

Driving downtown LA and there's an alleyway and this dude was in the alleyway in LA Austin Austin and there was this dude that was in an alleyway and he was it was the Sun was going down So he's praying. Wherever the fuck you are you gotta pray. I saw it in New York City and he was like and it's so hard to find a space in New York City so I was like wow that is impressive. That's devotion. Exactly he was behind like a pillar that like went into there was a little bit of room to go into these offices and he was literally just behind the pillar just doing that. And I was like, wow, that is right in Times Square. Have you ever seen the one from Toronto? Remember how wacky Canada is? Oh yeah. Toronto, it

was Toronto, right? Call to prayer in the street. It's bananas. Really? The street is filled. They just do the call to prayer and people just come out of their houses? I don't know where this is. I don't know why they were there. I just saw the video and I'm like, whoa, this is Canada? It just seems... Canada's a mess. I don't know if you've been there in a while. I'm sorry. I know they have healthcare, but it's not working. It's a mess. Their're their president sucks. They they need some sort of no-nonsense president to straighten everything out or prime minister or whatever you want to call them. Yeah, the nerve of them. Get a better king. What you're doing is nuts. Like the way you're there every week there's some

new strike on rights and laws and freedom of speech and they just keep cracking. They stop people from being able to get guns. You can't have a handgun anymore They're cracking down on all sorts of different things in regards to what what can constitutes hate speech online whether or not they can filter your internet access and just It's not good. They're homeless. I was in Vancouver to find that video. Oh It's not good. They're homeless. I was in Vancouver to find a video. Oh It's it's really crazy and they're in this I want to see it there's thousands of people in the street

Oh there is give me this This isn't in Toronto this is in. So this is a protest for something. But it's still, it's still. Oh, it's a protest. Okay. Even if it's a protest, you get that many people that are doing that. There's not another religion that would do that. They are so much more devout in their belief. They're praying. Like the Catholics would just wave a cross in your face. They'd do a half-ass wave.

And a lot of people would come out. The Muslims are out there in the street on their fucking knees. Fuck your traffic. We're praying. Fuck your traffic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is, that's a different thing. It's Toronto.

It's busy. Yeah. And Toronto and Canada, their approach to immigrants was not assimilate and Assimilate and become a part of America, right? That's what we do we like become one of us become a part of it They're their thing was like no keep your culture. Keep your culture and keep it here. Mm-hmm What are your cultures Sharia law? Like what are you guys saying?

Like, you know, there's parts of the world that are living like the 1200s. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that doesn't look like that. Like, it's hard to figure out. Like, you look at a priest, you go, pedophile, right?

And then you look at a Muslim, you go, terrorist. Like, that's so bad. Like, it's not, it's again, it's a small portion. See, the thing about, and it's also like our version of it is like, oh, you see him, they're terrorists. Well, why? Yeah. What did we do?

This is the thing. What was your part in it, little lady? How many bombs have gone off in Yemen? Like what have we done? What did we do in Iraq? What did we do in Afghanistan? What did we do? Yeah, what did we do to deserve this?

Nobody, accountability is lost everywhere in the world. Yeah. What do we do to deserve this? Nobody accountability is lost and everywhere in the world. Yeah, we are like the like what we're doing is like so bonkers all over the world with so many different bases. We're the only country that has bases. How many how many countries does the United States have military bases? Let's just take how many have they had abandoned? Let's take a guess. Let's take a guess. Oh, a guess. Oh, shit. A guess. How many active military bases in how many countries? You're trying to see if I'm smart. I've seen multiple military bases probably exist in some countries of strategic importance.

Sure. But if we ought to guess how many countries have US military bases? Let's guess. I'm gonna guess countries. I know there's like so many, I'm not smart. I'm gonna say 15. 15, okay, I'm gonna go a little higher, I'm gonna say 30. Oh shit, really? Yeah, it's probably higher than that. How many countries have US military bases in them?

According to Al Jazeera, the number is not published by the Pentagon, but it is known to be around 750 bases in at least 80 countries. 80. 80. Because I was thinking of the main ones that I hear. Yeah. Imagine there's 750 Apple stores.

Wow, I think there is. I gotta be honest. In countries that we invade and put an Apple store in. Wow. We're like, what is Apple trying to do? Apple and Starbucks, side by side. They're everywhere. McDonald's just made it over to the Congo.

McDonald's, yeah. Yeah, but that's nuts. 80 countries. That is 80 countries in 700. In 700 plus military bases. 80 countries. 80 countries in 700. Plus military bases. Holy shit. So when you see terrorists, and you go, why are they mad at us? Oh yeah, I never.

There's 520 Apple stores. Oh, there you go. There's more military bases in other countries than there are Apple stores. Apple, you're slacking. Get it together. Isn't that wild? Wow. That's crazy. Wild. We're a bigger business. And people are still talking about Microsoft? Yeah. The US military is a bigger business than Microsoft. That's why they had to recruit the trans. They're like we just need bodies. Get that Admiral. That fucking dude. Put

him in a dress. Put him in a fucking... Make him an Admiral. Yeah. Get everybody excited. You can become an Admiral if you're a girl. You win woman of the year. Give them woman of the year. Give them woman of the year. Give them woman of the year. You're gonna, look, I know you're a loser as a guy, but listen. As a woman, you're a winner. Nobody wants to fuck you anyway.

Why don't you just pretend you're a woman for a little bit and move up that goddamn ladder, Leah Thomas. That's all you have to do. Swim it out, bitch. Yeah, swim it out. Ugh. But that's the world we're living in. Yeah.

And then also you have China, which is so much more clever than the United States Yeah, they're they've been around and they've thrived economically for four thousand years. So China has been Infiltrating all of our education systems easily infiltrating buying up stock and businesses buying up land They they have their fucking tentacles in the entire system in this country. And they run the most addictive social media app. Like we always, and Adam Curry said this best, like he's the original pod father, he's the first podcaster, the guy from MTV,

remember Adam Curry? Yeah. Oh yeah, that name, yeah. No Agenda podcast, he's the best, I love him. But Adam pointed it out, he's the best. I love him. But Adam pointed it out. He's like, this is the only time where there's been a thing that the United States makes where China dominates in what is ordinarily thought of as like a creative thing.

Like tech things. Like for like a social media app, that TikTok's the most addictive. And he thinks that all of this attacks on tiktok he's like they're not doing anything different than we're doing he goes all the attacks is all just really designed to shut out the competition or break it up yeah and then make other countries um like china if they have a an app like tiktok you have to sell to america and then you're gonna keep doing the same thing but now we'll have the data We don't want the data in those other people that are shifty. We want in our shit people. That's right

We're gonna keep an eye on your microphone and look at all your fucking text messages. Do you send to your friends? Yeah, we want to check your memes folder for fucking dangerous things See how much makeup you really have That's all they do this guy in Belgium who they sentenced him to a year in jail Because he's been sharing racist memes with his friends in a private chat And then we went and saw the memes. Oh my god. They're like nothing. Oh, yeah mine got out there But I mean they're

nothing in that like they were talking about like Nazi ones but the did we ever find that? The Nazi? We did we showed it on the show see if you can find his memes. I tried to find the page we found again but remember the one had guns in it we were like maybe it was something to do with the guns. Yeah there definitely was a gun thing but the guns one was like they were in another country taking photos with guns saying something like we're in another country taking photos with guns Saying something like we're gonna take back our country or some crazy Oh, but anyway, they arrested this dude and okay, but they're allowed to look in your private chats And then sentence you for memes you send your friends, but that's how slippery this shit Yeah, yeah

When you give people control over what you can and can't say and then you acknowledge that you're getting influenced Constantly by foreign governments and foreign agents that are trying to sow the seeds of chaos Yeah There's no gun charges, so maybe not Straight racism racism Holocaust denial in relation to material shared amongst private group chats Although van Levergo denies sending the material himself, so he was on the chat He was on the chat that got all these things shared. Mm-hmm Let's see what the actual means trying to find them. I've been trying to find them every time you talk about I can't really

That's insane. Yeah, I bet it has it or for Chan. I've been trying to find them every time we talk about it. I bet Reddit has it. I bet 4chan's got it. I don't even know how to look at that website. You don't know how to look up on 4chan? Are you a fake internet guy? You know what I do? I call Duncan. Duncan's on 4chan all day long. Hey man, I'll use my burner account. I'll ask the guys. He's the best. The greatest human being ever. We forced him into being the talent coordinator at the comedy store. Yeah well that's how you know that's how Duncan and I became friends. Talent coordinator? Yeah I used to call up and leave my avails and we'd have these crazy conversations about like Alan Watts and like some speech that he gave literally. Yeah the smartest person in the world

Well, he's a fascinating guy because he's so uniquely him like Duncan He's not he doesn't change who he is to be run like other people He's just he's always been this really odd kind of hippie guy always been this really odd kind of hippie guy, but also like very objective about things. And he'll see like people getting sucked into a certain pattern of thinking and be like, hey, what? Hold on. Like he'll be one of the first to and he's really great at great at satire too. He's really great at pretending he's really into something like he uses Twitter for that all the time. Like if you look at some of his tweets and you didn't know you think he's serious I read this is

the greatest what it did one recently something about the CIA it's just fucking hilarious I don't understand how people can't read the sarcasm in because they're dumb but I guess you're right but what he's saying I'm not smart but what you had to survive though you had to develop some kind of smarts you had all these brothers but laughing at what he's saying like it's so bizarre that you know it's fucking crazy no not if you're one of them Illuminati people like believes in everybody's eating babies and to get an adrenochrome yeah yeah I'm looking for those babies well there's a thing if you if you're on this podcast there there's a certain group of people that will think you're in with the Illuminati

They would think that I'm in I'm in with the loom. I'm here to tell you folks Me the guy who has the number one podcast in the world. This fucking thing is like it's all in my head It's all me getting text messages from it's all me Emailing guys to get them to come on. It's all in my head. There's no CIA There's the but that's what I would say though If I was a guy who was like you're right influenced by the NSA and I was like an undercover spy Sort of like this strip search was normal Search the um that was the thing about the rock and roll movement in Laurel

Canyon in the 1970s. Eddie Bravo made me read a book on it. Oh, with the... I watched the documentary, I think. Yeah, there's like a crazy fucking conspiracy that the CIA created like Jim Morrison, the Doors and the rock and roll movement of the 60s all the decadent rock and roll Yeah, and It's there's weird connections. It's like you got to go like well You got to go there are some connections there. Here's the thing. I don't think you can create a Jim Morrison You need to have a guy who's that guy?

But Jim Morrison's dad was like a federal agent Jim Morrison's dad was what was Jim Morrison's dad? General. He was a general? Wasn't he in the CIA as well? I don't think so. No just a general. He was like the one that gave the orders that started the Gulf of Tonkin or something. Okay Jesus Christ. Whoa. Okay, so imagine that so his dad deep state, right? So that's a military connection. Okay Yeah, look at that rear admiral not what I expected is that so he's not a general That's always heavy-duty military man, and then his son Goes on and becomes one of the biggest rock and roll stars of all time and like a complete counterculture figure, drugs and chaos and pulling his dick out in front of people. Madness. Driving a 67 GT500 Mustang

in the desert and fucking hair and sunglasses. And there's people that think that that sort of image, the rock and roll star, the decadent depraved rock and roll star image was calculated by the CIA. And that this was all part of the same anti-war movement. Like what they were trying to do is stop the anti-war movement. They were trying to stop the hippie movement. And they think that what they did was encourage a chaos that came out of worshiping these degenerate rock and roll stars that were all drug addicts and saying crazy shit. Right. But as it, like you're taking away his talent and... No, but you're not though. You're not. You're essentially saying that they promoted that. Promoted it like the talent already existed but they realized if you can get this crazy

Chaotic guy sign him to a major record label and then push him everywhere and have these young kids see this guy Worship this weird the lizard king right? It's fucking wild dude that like Val Kilmer played in that movie Yeah, Val Kilmer like excellent thought he was Jim Morrison. He lost his fucking marbles. I believe he seemed like Jim played in that movie. Yeah, Val Kilmer like thought he was Jim Morrison. He lost his fucking marbles. It's a great movie. He seemed like Jim Morrison in that movie. But that like this this documentary this book is all about that the CIA had a hand in this. This is a different, I think a different, I don't know exactly what they said he did in it but this is an explanation of what happened. The details of the incident were distorted perhaps intentionally between Morrison and the other commanders on the scene, the Pentagon and the White House. That night, President

Johnson interrupted prime time TV, a very big deal in those days, and told the American public that two US Navy warships had been attacked on the high seas and he was asking Congress for support to counter the North Vietnamese aggression. At the same time, Morrison and his staff told Navy headquarters in Hawaii that the radar returns the destroyers had targeted were probably false returns generated by the rough seas. Headquarters relayed the information to the Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara, but he failed to give those details to President Johnson. So he held the details back. So based on Johnson's testimony that the destroyers had suffered an unprovoked attack in international

waters, Congress approved of the Gulf of Tonkin resolution, giving the president the authority to conduct military operations in Southeast Asia without a declaration of war. So that was Morrison's dad was a declaration of war. So that was Morrison's dad was a part of that. Wow. So the thing is it sounds super far-fetched but when you look at what they definitely did with the Manson family, what they definitely did with Operation MKUltra and Operation Midnight Climax and all these different crazy mind control experiments that they did and what they did with the Harvard LSD studies and what they did with the they were dosing people with acid and trying to make them

do things and trying to turn them into psychopaths and they did it with the Manson family. They got Manson when he was in prison and dosed him up with acid and taught allegedly taught him how to be a cult leader allegedly and then provided him with acid and then repeatedly let him out of jail every time he got arrested for things. Yeah, because he was arrested a lot. Yeah, and someone would step in and say this is above your pay grade and he would be out. Yeah, and they know that he worked with Jolly West who was the guy who was running MK Ultra

for the CIA. So if they were doing that, you think they're gonna leave rock and roll alone? No, right, right, right. No, they probably would do it. And then there's also some people now that are saying they were a part of funding the Gangsta Rap Movement of the 80s and the 90s. That was another way to sow discord in society. And when society is unstable, can like control people more.

Sure. When society is stable then they want to go hey let's fucking get rid of some of these bureaucrats that are useless let's fucking clean up the streets that's a stable society with a great economy. Now you want things in chaos and so though that's the way you stay in power and stay in control. Yeah what was it was a movie or something silly where they would play in the it was a music they were musicians whatever they had an album out and in the album they were putting something to like get people to buy certain things or do so subliminal messages. Yeah, but I movies I forget what it was but it would show like one frame and said hungry eat popcorn

Yeah, they would show like a photo. Was it a silly Will Ferrell movie? I can't, it's like drive me crazy, like Ben Stiller. But it was getting people to do things. It was crazy and I was like, that probably fucking happens. It definitely happens. Movies and commercials. Josie and the Pussycats. I know it was something stupid.

Find themselves in the middle of a conspiracy to deliver subliminal messages through the popular music. It was so silly. Find themselves in the middle of a conspiracy to deliver subliminal messages through the popular music Find themselves in the middle of a conspiracy Through so this that was the TV show. Oh, no, this is later. This is way later Yeah, Josie and the Pussycats was an actual animated show that was on when I was a kid That's why I was so that's the movie from 2001. Yeah, is that Will Ferrell? I don't know if he's in it I just remember it being quirky I never saw this and I love she's my favorite look excellent

yeah I think I watched it cuz Parker Posey was in it from Schitt's Creek yeah Schitt's Creek is hilarious you ever watch that show my mom loved that such a good show she's like put that shit on again I'm like you know it's crazy you know it's a good show that I used to shit on for no reason at all because I just never watched it the Big Bang Theory Oh Big Bang Theory is a fucking funny show is funny. It's a funny show. It has yeah, it's people say it's canned laughter But I think I know they did do it in no no no no they did Well, some of it is canned laughter, but that's the case in every single sitcom. So what happens is, in any single sitcom,

you'll have takes that someone flubs a line, or something fucks up, and you have to redo it. Sometimes you redo it without the audience. So you have pickups. So after the sitcom's filmed, the audience leaves, and they say, oh, Joe, you have two pickups. Dave, you have two pickups. Dave, you have two pickups. And so you'll just wear whatever you wore in that scene again

and redo the scene. So you'll do it with no audience. Yeah, I didn't think of that. I thought they redo it with the audience. No, sometimes they do that too. We did that too. But you don't want to beat the audience up. Sometimes if it's just a real quick second take,

they'll do a second take. We'll do it one more time, folks. But if there's just a real quick second take, they'll do a second take. We'll do it one more time, folks. But if there's like a real pickup or maybe they need a writing fix, like maybe someone comes along and sometimes they'll be watching it live and they'll go, you know, we need a better line here. And so, okay, let's get it in post. So then they wait until after the show and then they do it. So if you watch like an episode of the Big Bang Theory and no one's laughing, and the

reason why is because they probably film that without an audience. Sure. watch like an episode of the Big Bang Theory and no one's laughing and the reason why is because they probably film that without an audience sure it's part of the process of making sitcom also it's a funny fucking show it's funny and what they're talking about is bizarro like that we call my nephew Brandon Sheldon because he's like you know everything's a ritual like you have to do it a certain way. It's just incredible care The way he shits on people yeah, and the way he does like saying things and then like they'll have to remind him Hey, that's sarcasm, and he's like oh that like you people

You're so minimal. It was also not that competent right So it's like he's arely smartrely overestimates his work. So even amongst other physicists, he falls short. It's a complicated character. It's very funny. I think it's great. I think he did a great job with it too. No, it's a great show, but I was watching the other day.

You know, the reason why I found that show actually is a show that I think is even better than that, which is Young Sheldon, which is a Netflix show. Which is no audience. Oh, okay. I didn't see that's new, right? Yeah, and Young Sheldon is about him when he was a little boy And it's hilarious. Oh, it's not new. I think there's like several seasons I think there's maybe six yeah newer. Yeah, but I think there's like six seasons

I think they started making it after Big Bang Theory was done So then they did young Sheldon right, but it's it's a really funny show and I was like god damn This is about the Big Bang Theory and then we started watching the big bank theory I'm like it's a good sitcom and it made me think like man other than miss Pat miss Pat who has a regular sitcom She has an actual yeah shit Larry it's hilarious film, but you have to have the BET app to get it. Maybe it's on something else to know Is right? What else is miss Paisley on BET? So other than that like dude, they don't exist anymore Maybe it's on something else too now. What else is Miss Papp's show? I see it on BET.

So, other than that, like, dude, they don't exist anymore. The audience sitcoms? There used to be a hundred of them. Not good ones. They used to be on the WB, the UPN, and the fucking ABC and NBC and CBS and Fox. There was so many fucking sitcoms. Yeah, I think now everything's about hospitals. Okay you can get it on everything now.

Oh yeah. So you can get it on Roku, Amazon Prime, YouTube, Google Play, Apple TV and BET+. Well Apple TV is real good about that. They, most shit you can get even stuff that's like you know know, I'm watching Shogun Shoguns on FX Somebody just told me about that. I gotta get into it. They said it's really good. It's very good But you can watch that on Apple. Yeah, you just get on Apple TV. He's the shit. I love Apple TV I have that they just turn you into a fucking Apple robot you buy everything Ecosystem and they make it easy like you, but you're like, why am I resisting?

It's so much better. Like my phone is a remote control. Use your phone as a fucking remote. And it's a better remote control than the one that's on your- Absolutely. This stupid thing that the guy programmed. Wait a minute. This could be a remote?

I'm kidding. My knees taught me that. Your phone is a remote for Apple TV. It's incredible. Yeah. It's the best. The Apple TV, I mean, go back to the TikTok thing. I would see a lot of clips from miss Pat people love it It's so it's great to see because then this is another thing. They'll play clips from TV shows. So you're like, oh, what's that show?

You know, and then you kind of get into that or I never watched that whatever show was out a long time ago And then I'm like, oh I should check that out and you'll find it on the apps. And so now I'm like watching it. So they are, TikTok is telling me what to do. Yeah, they're telling, they're definitely moving you in a direction. Yeah. I mean, it's not a good, it's not bad. But the thing is, the question is,

should we protect people from the kind of influence that can scramble their brains? Sure. Because you can't, like remember when a few years, the kind of influence that can scramble their brains. Sure. Because you can't, like remember when a few years, not a few years, a few months back, all the TikTokers had got ahold of, what the fuck's his name?

Osama Bin Laden. Osama Bin Laden's letter to America. And they were like, oh my God, Osama Bin Laden, he was the good guy. Like America's the bad guy. And it were like oh my god. It's something London. He was the good guy like America's the bad guy Fucking Cobra Kai I'm telling you is this foreign influence. I guarantee you there's some of that That's a part of like the accentuating that and then there's also like the radical left today that wants to you know attack everything That's America and thinks that American flags are racist

You know people are out of their fucking minds. Well anybody that wears an American flag They're considered like this, you know Trump or whatever. It's hilarious. It's a left, right? Is that the left? I don't I'm not good I don't know that's a gun American flag right next to missy. Yeah, it is I was looking at myself like, hi. And then I'm looking at Mitzi's nipples and yeah that flag is gorgeous. See I grew up, my mom worked for the Philadelphia Navy

shipyard so she had rules. You weren't, like I see people with flags like bikinis, we weren't allowed to wear that. Like my mom was like, that's disgraceful. That's not how you wear the flat I'm like, oh, okay Like you couldn't have shorts with it on it You had a fold it a certain way we drive down the street and she'd see tethered flags and she those people are un-American

Like she had a fold it a certain way you had to take it in when there was a storm Like she is a little crazy about the flag So when I see it, I'm like, oh like I stand up straight because I'm gonna you know get yelled at by my mom so I get nervous. But yeah I do I don't look at a flag and think oh that's have you watched Cobra Kai? It's bizarre to say I watched it for a little while. I gave it a moment. Okay but you see what I'm saying they made Johnny. Yeah he's the bad guy now. No but they made him like he was. Yeah right. No he's the good guy and Ralph Macchio is the bad guy. Right. It was hilarious. I was like, this is...

And then I'm like, is that really what happened? Now I'm starting to think it. So Osama bin Laden, people are probably like, fuck, we've all been lied to. Because we do get lied to a lot. So the second you see one thing, you could be like, see, we're right. Also, Osama bin Laden was a CIA asset. Osama bin Laden trained the Mujahideen to fight the Soviets.

He was a part of that. So when he turned on America, it was not like we didn't do anything. Again. We're like a crazy girlfriend. Like, I didn't fucking do anything. He just fucking laughing. I didn't do anything.

It's no big deal that I shot his window out. What what why'd you guys get kicked out? We were just laughing. We're doing anything I'm just laughing and they kicked us out like I've heard that I was helping this show How many times you heard that a billion? I was so easily in Donnell yesterday Donnell was telling me he started his career as a heckler Shut the fuck up Donnell wrongs what started his career heckling. He's like son. he started his career as a heckler. Shut the fuck up. Donnell Rawlings started his career heckling. He's like, son I was moving tickets as a heckler. He was saying that people would come to see him heckle. That he would heckle the comedians. That's how he got it started. I don't know how to feel about that. That's how he got it started. He got his

career started as a heckler. Our enemy? Don't you feel bad about that now? Do you feel terrible about that now? I mean, that's awful. So how would he move tickets? Like he would go to shows and like prove he was better than the comics. It's Donnell. It's all like, he's so fun. Gonzo journalism. You're not sure what's real, what's not.

I do love him. He's the best. I love him, too. He was looking sharp yesterday. He got a three piece. He does dress so nice. Sometimes he does. He's the best. I love him too. He was looking sharp yesterday. He got a three piece suit. He does dress so nice. Sometimes he does. He's like changed his look. He had a three piece with a tie and a pocket square. Okay.

Yeah. Netflix special and a pocket square. My man. Slim cut, he looked good. He looked like using a good shape. Looked for his lost weight. I like it. My special's on YouTube, so I'm wearing a sweatshirt.

Yeah, but specials on YouTube are great because they're accessible to everybody. No, I love it. It's a good move I I was a little bit like a discipline like oh I should try to shop it and I sent it to a few people You know did a little bit of the shopping but then I was like no, I think the YouTube is the better the better option It's a great way because you're gonna ensure that people will find it easy and be able to get a hold of it instantaneously everybody has a YouTube account or if you don't have a YouTube account you just use YouTube with no account exactly YouTube is like the only thing that'll let you watch stuff with no account well I knew that when I saw my brother Charlie watching it I was like wow like he can't work Netflix but

he's got YouTube this is amazing amazing. Things like Instagram or TikTok. Like people send me TikTok links all the time. I don't have TikTok, so I'm not going to click on it. So then I would have to sign up or I'd have to watch it on the website. It's annoying. I don't want to do that. And I don't want to sign up for TikTok. So I don't have it.

And so I don't click those links. But if someone sends you a YouTube link, it just starts working instantly. You just don't have to have a YouTube app on your phone. It just shows you the thing. You can go to YouTube from other websites and like it'll be like an embedded link and you can watch YouTube without ever opening up a YouTube app. I don't think I knew that about the TikTok thing because I do send them to my brother, Jimmy, a lot and he doesn't know if he doesn't have TikTok face, nothing. You can kind of watch them, but you got to go to the website and ask you to download the app. You're like, no, thanks China

fuck China I buy in all the American propaganda I'm not going to your Chinese website to watch an open letter to America from Osama bin Laden By the way, I'm gonna Google that later. Wanna hear it? Wanna hear the open letter to America? How does they they translate it? See this the thing is through AI one of the really wild things about AI is it can seamlessly translate your voice and even your lip Movements to other languages. So they're gonna do that with this podcast where they're gonna translate this podcast to Spanish German and What was the other one, Jamie?

Was it India? Was it Hindu? No, that's great. French. I think it's Spanish, German and French. I think that's it. Is that right? I think those are the three at first. That's awesome. Right. So what they can do now, though, is they can translate like Hitler speech. So they've got Hitler speeches that Hitler gave in German. And you, what that, what that, that's not, that that. And you get to see it in English.

And you're like, oh, he wasn't, he sounds like Trump. Like, he doesn't sound nearly as radical as you thought he did. And I'm just kidding, he doesn't sound like Trump, but he doesn't sound, he doesn't brag about himself. But it's not- He doesn't? No, he's not funny. Like Trump is sound like Trump, but he doesn't sound he doesn't brag about himself, but right he's it's not Funny like Trump Trump Trump is definitely funny. He says funny things No one's like him, but what he what he's doing is not like we gotta kill the Jews like that's what I thought

It was all I thought it was all like we've got to exterminate the Jews and killed when you see those things those speeches That's not what he's saying. You can't convince somebody just to say it outright you have to manipulate them first so he brought him in he really brainwashed them for sure and also he's methed out of his mind oh yeah Hitler was Hitler's on all kinds of amphetamines literally the only didn't know that I heard it but I didn't like proof of it there's a video of him in the I think it was the 1936 Olympic Games and he's in Moscow and he's just rocking just sitting there rock look at this look at him oh yeah but I see I'll look at that and I'll

think it's the film from back then made off Hitler 1936 Olympics people did say this is sped up a bit, but he still is. Yeah, whatever, dude, whatever. Dude, I'm doing that now, and I'm not on meth. Just look at all the other people in the audience. They're not moving like that. Yeah, that's weird.

Bro, that guy's methed out. Even if it's sped up, but it doesn't look sped up. The guy next to him does not look like he's moving faster than normal at all. Well, maybe he does. That's what it is. Maybe he does. That's creepy.

Look, look at the way that guy lifted up his binoculars. It looks a little bit sped up, like maybe one and a half speed. Something's off. You know, sometimes people watch podcasts at one and a half speed. Yeah, I've seen that. Watching this pod. I was watching this YouTube video where these guys were watching another YouTube video, but they were watching it one and a half speed. And I was like, wow, that sounds weird.

And then I realized what they were doing. I'm like, oh, they just speed it up to get to the point quicker. Yeah, when I was in high school, I got a little bit obsessed with Hitler. It was literally, I was a bad student, terrible student. The only thing that piqued my interest is this creepy guy was able to run five countries, get five

countries to believe what he was saying and do what he was saying. He was conquering these people. And I'm like, this is, this was a real person. Like I was oblivious to everything. So I started getting like good grades because I was paying attention. And my mom was like, just like during the pandemic, she's like, Remember when you loved Hitler? No, no one loved Hitler. I was just well, listen, also back then when you were a kid, that was 50 years after the war, which is like it just happened. Yeah. So you're looking at like your grandpa's age. Yeah, your grandpa was alive when this happened. Like what? Yeah, he was in the war. Yeah. So it's like, wait, what? This is a real

person? Like I just didn't, because it would seem so far away. And then you're like, this just happened. It seems completely insane. Yeah, it seems completely insane that that just happened. Yeah. But so the point is like, so now they can take this Osama bin Laden speeches, and they can translate that into English. Wow. Yeah. Do you use AI for anything else? Like, my friend is trying to get me to download this app and chat GPT.

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. She says it every day. I know a lot of Duncan uses it constantly. Duncan fixes her letters. If you hate someone, say if you hate someone, Duncan you hate someone Duncan will make an audio recording of you praising that person and talking about how you want to go

down on her and I'm not even gay but there's something about the sweet smell of her pheromones that excites me on a cellular level like he'll anytime anybody's mad at somebody he will make some ridiculous audio recording some satirical audio recording of Duncan isms Cuz it's it's almost the smartest Duncan Almost to me. I just put him on a pedestal I just even like he would torture me when we were working together because he's the talent coordinator

We called him the sheik because he came in after Princess Cory. He hated the nickname, he hated the whole job. He just wanted a job. Exactly and he says that you know when I was waiting tables at the store I would be very harsh to comics right and especially if I liked them I would fuck with them a lot and he said that he got off stage and I said to him. I don't know what that was but it wasn't comedy I'm like you I did not Favorites, but you did it fun for fun. We all did that to each other. It was a good time It was part of the fun of performing together

Yeah, yeah, but it's like what Duncan was was like this like Just a completely unique person like hey, how what are you doing? Yeah? Yeah, you should be in an ashram somewhere All everywhere Someone stole little hobo, and he replaced it with a better Little Hobo. I know. I was very upset when I heard Little Hobo was stolen because that was like one of my favorite things to watch in the original room because it would do the music, you know, the whole thing was so good. And Dice would sit in the back and just be screaming. It's his favorite thing ever because I was like, you have to see this.

And then he came in to see it and he's like, like this to Duncan, worships him. No, it's incredible. It's but Duncan is just a unique guy. There's no other Duncans. I don't know anybody like him. I know people that like try to pretend that that guy but that's really him. He did call me an old mayor for a while. So. Mayor. Motherfucker. Fucking kill you Duncan. But you were always really good to go go to. I could always ask you if someone was coming in from out of town, if there were any good. You were the one who would give, because a lot of people would bullshit,

because they were thinking maybe this guy's gonna get a sitcom, and maybe I'll be on a sitcom. I'll probably say, oh, he was great. It was a good set. Right. Solid material. And I go to you, you're like, fucking heck. He's a hack. I go, really?

Yeah, he sucks. I'm like, wow, really? You're like, yeah, yeah, terrible. As a comic. I go, really? Yeah, he sucks. Wow, really? Like, yeah, terrible. As a comic, I feel like when people ask me like, hey, so and so is coming in from New York. I think and I'm like, wow, because I don't want to lie. Right. But I'm also when I was waiting tables, I had no steak. Right. Like I wasn't a comic. Exactly. So it's like, okay, I could say whatever I want, because I'm in a different field that you know, but now I'm in the same field So what if I'm coming to New York, right? Somebody's like she kind of sucks, you know, whatever but then be undeniable I'm sure yeah, so I get nervous. Yeah that it's gonna backfire, but so

Well, that's how it works. It will, if you talk shit, people will look at you. You know, like if you watch groups of people that have developed like a hater community, that hater community will always target them. They'll eventually turn on them. Because you've developed a bunch of attack dogs. Yeah, but now people like, in a text thread,

they'll ask about people and you people and we always fuck with each other in the text threads and we can be very vicious and send horrible shit to each other. And so somebody brought up a comic from New York and I go, oh, they're really good. Oh, that's the new Eleanor. Oh, they're really good. And I'm like, you go fuck yourself.

Cause now I'm watching people in a different light. Yeah, you're being a little bit on the line yet. Yeah, but there are there are people that are objectively hacks like you see Oh, and you still see them clear as a fucking I mean anything. They're just like plug-and-play Yeah, they're like find a topic that everyone's talking about and talk about that topic that topic take No, no unique take but also like sometimes it's internet jokes and I'm like dude Oh, yeah, you're getting away with this like Rick Ingram said something about a comic that Getting a lot of press right now. Whatever you want to say For their special and he was like this is vaudevillian

It does go that far back I'm like, yes, that is accurate. But I don't try to shit on as many people, but I do see it still. Yeah, it's sometimes better to keep moving. But sometimes you have to be honest. Sure. There's a problem when you're running a club. Oh god, yeah. My situation, thank god I have that.

By the way, that club is so fucking amazing. It, thank God, I have a club is great. Oh, fucking amazing. It's pretty fun. Can't last week. I mean, two weeks whenever I was here. I'm still not off that high. Yeah, still not off that high and getting to do it on my rare even fucking better. Yeah, it's a fun place. Yeah. So I give up all the power to Adam. I basically say, look, you know what you're doing. You're really good at it, you decide who's booked here or not. And we talk about it.

We talk about certain things. But when someone hits me up and they say, this is not the level that we're looking for, it's hard to say. What do you say to that person? You've lost the way. I don't know what you got, but it's not good. Whatever you just did, it wasn't comedy.

It's so hard. I don't know what that was. But the thing is, it's like, especially if you're in a scene that sucks, like if you're out there, that's one of the things that's the most beneficial thing about the club is that you're involved with a bunch of other comics now. Sure.

You know, it's a scene of like-minded people. And everyone's kind of doing the same kind of thing. And you get to feed off of each other's success and energy. And there's a lot of comics out there that do not have access to that. And they get stagnant. Get stuck in this little, like I thought about this job I didn't get a long time ago.

And then I saw a person who got the job and I was like, oh, I'm glad I didn't get that job. It was a writing thing, but now they're stuck in that little. That's the velvet prison. Right, and they can't get out. Yeah, that's the velvet prison. It's a bad prison to get in because you get a good living.

And then all of a sudden during the pandemic, all that shit got shut down and all those guys were like, oh no. And I can't go on the road anymore because Because nobody knows who I am. Because I've been working in a writer's room for 20 years. And now watching that person like try to bring themselves back and you're like, the paddles aren't work. And you also have a family now and you have a mortgage. You're not a 21 year old guy on the road. You could just kind of like sleep with two other dudes in a hotel room and crash on

The floor. Yeah, I'm gonna sleep in the tub because everybody snores It's like we we did wild things back then. I slept in a storage room once I did a gig on an island and they had cots in a storage room This is like canned tomatoes and shit where we had a bathroom that we could shit in and then there's like there's nothing there Yeah, there's no hotel. It didn't exist. Yeah, just we had a bathroom that we could shit in, and then there was like, there was nothing there. There was no hotel. It didn't exist. There's so many gigs like that, but those, they build character.

Those are important. You can't do those when you're 50. Certainly build character. No, but I will say this. I do kick myself in the ass a lot, because I didn't start when I first moved to LA. I waited tables 12 years, then left, came back a year and a half later as a comic.

That's mental illness, I know, I get it. It's not, you just didn't jump. But that's weird, like all those years, no interest in it, no nothing. That's the weird part, because you didn't have an interest. Well no, and I think it was Freddie, when Freddie Soto passed, that was the jarring moment

that was like, what are you doing? And he would say it constantly, you should be doing stand-up, come on the road, that kind of shit. And a lot of comics said it, but it was, you know, cause we would fuck around in the kitchen. I mean, I'm doing bits in the kitchen with you,

with the, looking for a stamp. I know you still always do this thing where I would say, hey, I gotta send a letter Do you have a stamp and she had an apron? She had put her hand in her apron and just start fingering herself, and I'm like are you finding the stamp? People around us be like what the fuck are you guys doing? I'm like are you okay? This running gag that we did for like five years. So stupid.

So stupid. But like, I mean. But you're bored. You're doing comedy in the kitchen, but we're just fucking around. Well, we were trying to find things that would entertain our brains. Right, right.

But you were always doing it with us, so like, then you did the pro wrestling, and then you did stand up after the pro wrestling. Yeah. Which is like, oh, okay. A bizarro. Makes sense, but it worked. Like, now you're a headliner. Like, it worked. And that's what I'm after the pro wrestling. Yeah. Which is like, oh, OK. A bizarro. But it worked. Now you're a headliner.

It worked. That's what I'm saying. I'm loving it. I mean, probably I got lucky with going on the road with Dice. We only had a few uncomfortable encounters where I had to share a room with him and his ex-wife. That's hilarious. Those were uncomfortable.

I'd be on the couch. I'm not listening. I swear. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. I've never heard any of this before. La, la, la, la. That's crazy. Dice made you share a room with him. Well, just, I'll tell on the couch, I'm not listening, I swear. La la la la la la la la la. I've never heard any of this before. La la la. That's crazy, Dice made you share a room with him. Well, just, it was, I'll tell you what happened.

He was already Dice, he already sold out Mass at Square Garden. He was doing great, it was my fault. It was, I was supposed to leave at a certain time and the plane got delayed, not my fault, but whatever. So it was like, oh shit, or immediate, like that was the only uncomfortable. Other than that, we're in five star hotels, so I'm spoiled.

I get that little one thing, and it was, oh God, what is this? Then I go on the road as a headliner by myself, and I'm like, oh, this is different. Not as bougie, but we're getting there. Are you bringing people with you? Not yet, that's why I wanna make this my special. I I needed to go up because I think that's a great asset to be like me and Andrew have so much fun on the road because We're such good friends and and we fuck around through those videos all day

And so we we make the most of it But when you are on the road and you have to use people you don't know and they're fine But having your friends is really a it's a great way to travel. It's the only way. It really is but you got to get to a certain level to be able to pay them to do that. Yeah I started doing it before I really could afford it because I realized at a certain important time it's better to have people on the road with you then to make well I I could afford it. I should correct myself. I could afford it, but it was, it cost me money.

Yeah, that's right. You're losing money on your gig. Yeah, because it wasn't, I wasn't getting a lot of money back then either. So it's like if I knew that the club wasn't willing to pay airfare and hotel and pay an opening act, like a good amount of money, like more than they're getting normally when they would be working at that club. So then I started bringing guys on the road with me and I was like, oh, this is so much better because then we're going out to dinner together, we're laughing, we're in the green room together, we're laughing, we do shows, we're laughing, we go to the airport, we're

laughing. It's a lot less lonely. It's fun. It changes the entire gig and it makes the gig a great time. And you know, I'm out there with Duncan and Joey and Ari and so their family yeah so girl like we haven't we're having a great time it was a great time yeah it was just fun it was just fun and it just makes the whole thing more of an experience and then you're getting to watch them grow as well and now their headline they're doing it you

know what I mean like everybody is moving up and that's a positive exactly everybody's learning from the road and it's also it's like the just the experience of the job is we're all like oh we're so lucky we get to do this yeah we do that all the time at the club here it's unbelievable lucky lucky last night me and Steve small we're like we're just in the green room loving it because it's just so great to see. It's family, it is, it's family. And when you meet somebody on the road,

you go to another city and you see somebody that you kind of came up with or whatever, you're like, hey, you're like a dog. Let me hang out, let's go hang out. No, there's something extra special about being on the road with some friends from a different city. Like one guy's working at a local club. Yeah. When's your show over?

Ten o'clock. All right. Let's meet up. Oh, you have two shows. What a pussy. You know, like, I'm sorry. I'm still. Yeah. But those those days are, you know, like, it's hard to appreciate it while it's happening. But that's the rarest of rare in in the world of occupations, because you Do a thing that is really fun to do you love doing it and other people get a great joy out of it

Yeah, like the people go and they feel better and you're doing it with other friends who are also doing it and also enjoying it And everybody's just having a party and you're just making the whole journey Just more fun. Yeah. Just a better experience. Like, it just, what I'm lucky, another fortunate thing is Dice loves doing clubs, right? And I mean, he can do theaters, whatever, but he loves doing these little clubs. So what he'll do is he does the early shows.

He doesn't like to do two shows. So I headline the late shows. Nice. So it's like, we're still getting to hang out. And then I'm meeting a lot of cool, like, locals from different areas. So that's a little easier in getting to hang out and then I'm eating a lot of cool like locals from different areas So it's that's a little easier in that like I'm still hanging out my buddy and then I'm meeting new people That is nice. Yeah, so I got I am very very fortunate

Not good to work with him and where do you go up in LA nowadays? I'm always at the store, of course, but I do the lab factory the improv and I'm always at the store, of course, but I do the lab factory, the improv. And sometimes I'll even go like do the haha. I haven't done it in a while. The haha is a good break. But I love the haha, too. It's good. I never fucked with flappers. I think I only went up on flapper.

I haven't. Yeah, somebody wants there, I think. The ice house, they say, is like all revamped. I haven't done it. I heard it's awesome. Be honest since you were there. Yeah, that was a great spot. Well, that's where I used to go when I got kicked out of the store. I spent a lot of my time with the Ice House. I'm fucking nervous with that story. Yeah, it was a fun time. Fun piece of history.

It was fun. No, but yeah, we were doing the, what was it? You were doing the Friday Night Chronicles or the Ice House Chronicles? I'm sorry. Yeah, we did the Ice House and I did the improv quite a bit too. Improv in town. But I always miss the hang of the store. The hang of the store was always the different thing. We had that quite a bit at the Ice House. We had a good hang at the Ice House.

Well, say you built that with your club for sure. The hang is phenomenal. The shows itself, great as well, but it's like that hang is so cool too. It's important. But you brought that important, because I do feel like, even if I work the other clubs, I do wind up back at the store, because they have more of the space to hang.

But, you know, some nights you go and you go, oh, it's not tonight. And then some nights you're like, oh, okay, this is like an old, you know. Yeah, well that was always how it was even back in the day you'd go down there and no one would be there But you know a few haters Yeah, and as a waitress, I'd be waiting for eight people so we could start the show so it was fucking rough times but that those nights sometimes were like the best because

Everybody would show up and they're be you know, we just hang in the kitchen. Well, that's where I like the best because everybody would show up and they're you know we just hang in the kitchen well that's where like Holtzman developed you know oh god yes those crazy late-night sets I another one I remember him showcasing here oh he it's do I did his show when I was here I came in a little bit early and I did his show on a Thursday night, and it was, the crowd was phenomenal. They love him. And I realized, I said something a little like, you know, out of control, and then it got a big,

I go, oh, this is a Holtzman show, okay. Because for a second, I was like, yo, you're not opening for, chill out. This isn't a crowd that expects, and then I realized, oh, it's Holtzman. Yeah. And I remember him showcasing for Mitzi, and you know, she was passing on him, like not

passing him, if you will. And he'd come in the back and he'd crush, like murder, and he'd come right in her face and he'd be like, was that good enough? Was that good enough? I'm like, why are you yelling at Mitzi? Sure. And she passed him in the belly room. That's where she passed him. Because it was like a whole thing she put him through. She really put him through the wringer, but it was great. And he just would come in and come in. We had so much fun with him. Remember after September 11th,

she wouldn't let him go out for two weeks. Cause he would bring it up. Bring it up. He was going to open with it. Of course. He did it with the Oklahoma city bombers, of course he did it with the Oklahoma City Bombers yeah bombing and he did it with the women woman who drown her kids Susan Smith we talked about the night after like all the Harvey Weinstein shit came out mm-hmm

he I don't know anything say whatever's in the news I'm not gonna say what he said but what I was saying me and Adam were in the back like they're gonna lock the doors we're done I wasn't I didn't see what he said, but what I was saying me and Adam were in the back like they're gonna lock the doors We're done. I wasn't I didn't see what he said about Israel after October 7th I was not there, but I could only imagine He did not leave that alone. No, he didn't he's a wild fucker and he's he's putting these road gigs up He's going to do road gigs and then puts videos of a people leaving a show. Yeah people getting upset Oh, it's hysterics. It's my new favorite thing watch because you know I had to deal with it and a lot of back in the day like they would walk out

Can I see the manager like it became a thing? I used to fuck with Holtzman and he'd say he was like you'd see he's saying stuff people aren't like loving it And I'd be in the back of it. I see a manager And you shut up bitch and he go crazy, but it was like a right. I feel like Donnell I used to heckle But it was a bit, but it was a bit. It was it was a running gag We did at the store a lot to do a running gag with Brian out so tell us about your gay son of course My favorite thing to say but people would say it too early

Like not yet. You gotta wait on that one. Yeah, you would go. I'm proud of my boy Just go into this bit and you just like what the fuck are you saying? Sometimes you would add crazy shit to it. Yeah, we were at dinner. Yeah, we were at Mitzi Shaw's house I'll link letter was there who? Eleanor Carrigan and like'd put random people in there with bizarro historians. And then I remember Mitzi used to fuck with him and make him follow certain people.

So he would follow Tonya Lee Davis. I don't know if you remember her. Yes. Very funny. I don't know. Little person. Little person, thank you. I couldn't remember the proper term.

And she'd crush, right? And then she'd get off and she had a chair on stage and everything. And Mit'd crush, right? And then she'd get off and she had a chair on stage and everything. And Mitzi would be sitting in the back, Holtzman go up, throw the chair down. What kind of shit is it? What is this, a circus? Who's up next? The bearded woman? He just didn't, he couldn't handle that. Like Tanya Lee was in front of him. And Tanya knew he was doing it, so she'd laugh too. She didn't care. But he'd throw the chair down and just yell at Mitzi

for booking little people. And Mitzi loved it. She thought it was the greatest thing ever. And Tanya would laugh too, so she didn't care. She loved chaos. She really did. But it was fun to even make it more fun, like a drama. Like Tanya's walking away, like, what the fuck?

But she knew it was a gag, so she didn't care. And she's killing it. She still tours. But it's just so funny like I would love to put them back together I'm just like a bunch of years later because it's gotta be like 20 some years. I've been doing this 16 years. That's crazy That's that's legit every when you get over 10. It's like getting your PhD Really? Yeah, 10 years like you're real comic real comic. I cannot. It seems like it. I mean, people have done it quicker, but you got to be really obsessed and maybe you have a special talent.

Lucky. Pretty lucky too. Could be lucky, but it also could be you are used to talking in front of people. Like maybe you were in AA. Like a lot of guys from AA became really good comics. Yeah. Especially in Boston, because they'd go up in front of people and tell stories about being hammered and all the shit they did.

So now I got to find my car. And everybody's laughing. And it's funny, but it's sad. But it's hilarious at the same time. A lot of really good comics started out in AA. And so that was like a thing. And also, they had a lot of experiences to draw from because they had this crazy life,

but now they're sober. So they had sort of a theme on the on stage that was like a cheat code and I saw some guys get good really quick that way but it seems like ten years is the number that's the spot and even then at ten years you're still like are you any good but you're trying to like sort it out you're trying to figure out what it is that you do yeah Yeah, I feel like that at 16 years Yeah, it takes a while. I still feel like that sometimes I'm like I still sometimes I just reevaluate my stuff and really I love to be inspired

You know Yeah When I'm inspired the the key is like acting on that like if I get inspired of someone really funny is at the club And I see him like that was great now I want to go right right but you got to really like go act on that like right while the inspiration is still Why we got that ember? Yeah, keep it and then and then go with it, but you know, it's like You You always should be fucking with it. You're always looking at it and tweaking it.

That's like, me and Norman were talking about that the other day, he's like, does it ever get to Groundhog Day? And I was like, not if you're writing new shit, it doesn't. Cause you're always got some thing constantly. So there's always some new thing you're fucking with. We do a lot of shows in New York together. And I see him at every show. Like if I'm at New York Comedy Club if I'm at the Cellar wherever

I'm at Mark's on the show I'm like this is great like no matter what he's still out there like I think the night before he did he just did a big one in New York not the Carnegie that's where I did but I was with Tice he was doing a big one and he was like, you know How do I do I take the subway like a normal and I'm like take the car get a nice car or something and take it there I forget what venue he was doing but it was giant and it was a big deal for him And he he's still at the stand the night before like doing shows Yeah, well see you guys after the big shot, you know, he's so yeah

He's so down to earth which I love because you're still out there grinding and I remember one night I was at the cellar and I wasn't I was mad at myself because I didn't do a newer bit and he goes pussy Like he didn't even I was like you motherfucker, but yeah, but he's right like do the bit take the chance. He's just always on to yeah When we do protect our parks, he's just like, he's like just a pun machine. Half of them, like, you can't even address them because they would just like throw everything off.

You'd never get a sentence out. Just like, he just, he thinks it is such a different way. He really is silly. His notes are a clear sign of mental illness too. Unbelievable. Those things are insane, right? Yeah. It's like that, the stat.

You can see in his back pocket, I thought he had a booty from one side It's all flat on the other curved and sweated on and shit sitting on him for years I believe it very strange guy We were going from the stand to the comedy cellar And so we all piled in our buddy this guy Greg Stone also hilarious comic and we jump in his car He's got kids. So me and Mark were like wedged in baby seats, kind of things. Like we moved them, but we

were like wedged and he's like, is this good for you? Oh, he's on and we're just literally on each other's laps like squished in poor Greg Stone's car. Yeah, and then we all did the sets at the cellar after. But I was was like I hope he doesn't watch cuz you know I don't want him to judge call me a pussy for not doing my new shit But I worry about because I talk so much shit about comics that right. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, well, that's why you got to really make sure you dot your eyes and cross your t's Yeah, so you can watch my special and you can see that I work really hard and where it where's the special tell people how To get it. It's on YouTube. It's called no country for old women

And it came out March 1st, so it was like women's month I was like you don't watch it you hate women no It's getting is that March women's month is longer than Black History Month is it well we're women. Oh look how they spelled my name No country for old women. Do you fucking believe that? That's how my name looks. Was that on purpose or is it a joke? No, they didn't know. We had a windstorm the night before and it blew those letters off. Oh no. How fucking crazy is that? That's hilarious. Yeah. And I did it in the OR. We kept the lights on. We did good. It looks beautiful. Lights look incredible. My friend Lexi Shoemaker was a director and she really,

see the light on the bottom of the stage, it kind of brightens it up a little bit. There she is, popping the cooch. The nerve of her to do this. That's amazing. It's really good. I'm very, very proud of it. And I love the name, of course, because I love being silly. The name's awesome. But you know what it is, because we were talking about women, you know, people say, if you talk about sex, if you talk about this, politics, whatever it is,

they do tend to, oh, she always talks about her, you know, sex, she always talks about this, she always talks about that. Fine, so I'm, and they always say, you're old. Yeah, I know. And I'm fucking fine with it. Like, I'm happy to almost be dead. Like like I don't know what else you want me to do Well, people are just always trying to find some way to shit on you. You're the person on stage. So I'm getting attention

I'm old. Yeah in my title. Yeah deal with it. Yeah deal with it fucker. All right, Eleanor. Am I gonna see you tonight? Yes, okay. I'm excited. All right Thank you, my friend No, I oh the Comedy Store podcast still we're still doing that Comedy Store podcast nice and hopefully what's up doc with Jeff Danish will be back where we watch documentaries and reveal them. We have so much fun doing it. Oh beautiful. Yeah. Yeah, cool. All right Give everybody your Instagram Instagram EJ Carrigan and your Instagram. Instagram, EJ Carrigan. And I think it's just EJ Carrigan across the board. Somebody else. Yeah. Twitter.

Tick tock. Tick tock. Go ahead, China. Get in there. Get information. Okay. I love you. Love you more. All right. Bye. Thanks for watching!