The Joe Rogan Experience - #214 - Duncan Trussell

Episode Date: May 8, 2012

Joe sits down with Duncan Trussell.

Coming up, we've got kettlebells and a bunch of other cool nutritional things. You know, Beta Brain also has a mood enhancing drug. It's called Blue Mood. It makes it so that you can, like, really listen to Elliot Smith. And fucking love it. I wonder if someone could sell pills that made you depressed. People would buy them. People would buy them. I mean, look at what cigarettes are.

Cigarettes are something that makes you feel like shit and smell terrible. And yet, they're like, it's super popular. It kills people and then it's super popular. If you had depression pills and you just had them out there, it would be like a news story. News at five. Is this new pill crossing the line? It's marketed as

depression. And then you go there and there's a chick with white makeup on and black lipstick and she goes, life fucking fucking sucks it's always fucking sucked okay and when i take these pills i see reality and that's what i want if you don't like it fuck you yeah what is wrong with the children of today and is this depression drug crossing the line happiness is annoying when you're around happy people they're fucking irritating if you're happy you're a fucking piece of shit yeah what's there to be happy about you're gonna fucking die in a few years depression wars raging everywhere you're really gonna walk around with a smile on

your face in this economy well you know it's really good to do depression with your girl because when you get through it and it wears off It's like you get to really appreciate how good how good you have it when you're getting along great Because when you take depression, it's really like going through like one of those Life-changing experiences on weird African drugs that make you like almost die You know they have a bunch of those crazy drugs that they give like the jungle drugs where you almost die It's not quite a psychedelic experience. It's almost like a near-death experience. They literally almost kill you.

Pretty cool. And you're supposed to learn something about yourself through this intense and horrible poisoning. I think they're called ordeal poisons. That's the actual technical term. And they operate very similar to psychedelics in the way that they humble you. Because it really brings you to the brink of death and your emotions are just blaring, your fears are blaring, your insecurities. I think you're

forced to examine your life in a very deep and realistic way in any real true near tragic situation right oh yeah so i think you take these ordeal poisons and you just go through the ordeal of almost fucking dying and you learn a little bit about yourself but god damn it that's the hard way to do it that is the hard way to do it but for a lot of people that's the only way to do it yeah they don't have enough they live in a psychedelic free environment they don't have enough. They live in a psychedelic-free environment. They can't get it to them. They don't have the means to get it to them. Yeah, and sometimes even people will take psychedelics and still be douchebags.

Totally. You know that guy we were talking about before the show? Yeah, exactly. There's a lot of them out there. They're like, it's almost like by taking it, it allows you to be a twat because you've had the experience and you're allowed to stick it in someone else's face that hasn't had the experience, their children, or they're a moron. That's crazy. You're not better for having an experience.

You're just more experienced. What's better is your overall impact on human beings and if just you've accumulated some extra information so you feel it's okay to be cunty well that's not better at all you just moved your energy into a different direction you're not you're not better right you're still being a twat well you're still differentiating yeah i mean that's good that's the in the um in the Bhagavad Gita it sort of talks about like signs of people who've gained real realization and one of the signs is that they don't differentiate between any anything it's all they see it is all an expansion of the same

original force they don't see it anymore as like this person's rich, this person's poor, this person's good, this person's bad. It's all just different sides and angles of this super structure that has existed forever. That's so hard to think that way. It's so hard to separate yourself from you and your needs and your ideas of you and what you want and what you want to accomplish or whatever you associate with, and the idea that you're a part of a whole. Well, you can intellectually imagine it, but really being in that state, the only time I've ever truly been in that state was when I had taken a huge dose of LSD and was out in the desert, and I remember just having that fading away, merging thing where you're no longer anything.

You're everything. You just merge into it all. And I don't know how you would really function in that state. I don't really know what you would be like in the world if that lasted longer than the amount of time an acid trip is or a few hours but they do say that through meditation and through um strict yogic disciplines you can hit that place permanently you know and then somehow that that place is nirvana or paradise it's a beautiful way to to be all the time but i don't know i've you know i've only heard stories about people like that, descriptions of people like, he was a corpse that the universe spoke through,

is one great description of. Wow. You know, where the ego of the person was dead. They're just gone. But that guy would probably be boring as fuck to hang out with. That's the problem. Right. You know, part of what's cool about being a human being is being around people that have some flavor.

Yeah, hell yeah. And, you know, you see some of these people and they do seem to have flavor. So, you know, I don't know. The problem with talking about the holy men of the world, the great holy men of the world, is that I've never met one. It's like all speculation. I've met some wannabe gurus. I've met quite a few wannabe gurus. And some of them, you know, they shock me with their humorlessness.

You know what, though, dude? I did do a video chat with Ram Dass. Yeah, you said that was amazing. And that guy was fucking awesome. And it lit up my whole apartment. And it was just you and him? Yeah. No, it was me, And that guy was fucking awesome. And it lit up my whole apartment. And it was just you and him? Yeah. No, it was me, him, and Natasha.

Wow. Yeah. And how did you arrange this? Well, on his website, you can still do it. It's this thing called Heart to Hearts where you can like, I know, you can talk to him on Sunday. Wow. And you just go to the website and sign up. I couldn't believe it either.

I thought it was, there was no way it was going to work. Or I thought they were going to like try to ask for money from me or something but i signed up for it sunday my phone rang hello duncan it's rondas holy shit yeah and then suddenly i'm like on this video screen with rondas and he was glowing he was like he's an old dude now but he's it was like exactly the same energy that my friend's eight-year-old kids have. It was just this radiant, childlike, authentic energy. It wasn't phony. It wasn't bullshit. We talked for a little while. He told me, um, this chant that he's been doing lately over and over again, where he says, I am loving awareness. I am loving awareness. I am loving

awareness. It's a chant to just sort of, I don't know, shift your vibe. And then that was it. Said goodbye, and that was it. They didn't ask for any money. They didn't want anything. It was just a, you know, yeah, it was just like service. That's fascinating. That's fascinating.

Yeah, it's like when you look at him and people who are psychedelic enthusiasts, you look at someone like him and you go, there's a guy, he made it through. Yes. He made it through, he really grabbed it. Yeah. He really grabbed the whole thing and it made him something different. It made him what he is at the heart of the trip. That's right, man. right man well he because what happened is he went into that state and instead of going into that state and leaving and then that's it it was a novel experience he went to that state and said

i want to be in this state permanently what the fuck is this because he had you know he's a trained psychologist and he's like we don't know what this is we don't have any maps for this we don't know what the fuck this psychedelic experience is at all i so he was trying to when he went to india he was trying to see if this was a state that you could permanently reside in he wanted to stay high forever that's how much he loved tripping you know when i come down quite often i'm like thank you god I'm back to, you know, state zero ground. I'm here. He was like, okay, let's do this forever. They were fucking.

Wow. Him and Timothy Leary were like drinking from what I was drinking, sipping vials of acid, sipping from LSD. You know, they were going so fucking deep into the experience. I know. It's so scary. Fearless, fearless, intrepid explorers. But he realized that you go into that place,

you have this contact or whatever you want to call it with some kind of either hidden interior realm or some kind of exterior realm that as humans are perceptual mechanisms. Yeah, and that's a pretty scientific way of looking at it realistically. Hidden interior realm even being just a conscious one. You know, a consciousness realm. The fact that those ideas,

why are they not available to me right now? If it's all being generated interiorly, how come those ideas are not available to me right now? Do I need some intense stimulation of different regions in order to give me that information? I don't know how the process works. I'm not exactly sure if other people know either. I have the weirdest fucking feeling that when you take psychedelics

or when you take even marijuana, that part of what the experience is, is you experiencing the intelligence of a plant. Part of it is it boosts up your own senses into this weird, crazy, alien state. And that's why

being high feels so disorienting and feels odd. You're almost like not in your space anymore. Your space is connected with some other intelligence and this other intelligence is showing you

different avenues of thinking. It's almost like it starts filling pores in your mind and pushing you in a certain direction until it wears off. And then it wears off and it's ailing into your system

so your body gets rid of it eventually and then it's gone. It only has a certain amount of love time inside of you. But while it's inside of you it's like it's changing you it's it's making you like super fucking sensitive it's making you super aware and honest you know i mean when a lot of people say well it doesn't do it to me it just makes me paranoid well maybe that's just how you deal with stress you know it very because for sure you're going to get moments if you smoke too much pot

where you feel paranoid. There's no getting away with that. Everyone's going to have that experience. But what is that really? I'll tell you what it is, man. It's like you're being, you're being aware

of all the shit in the world all at once. And all the shit that you were hiding in the back of your head. And all the shit that you were hiding in the back of your head. And all the shit that's your worst nightmare that you're terrified that you're actually manifesting because you think about it all the time.

And when you smoke pot, all that shit comes to life. And on top of that, you're just disoriented. It's like surfing. It's like surfing can be great. Surfing can be like, I watch those guys when they look like they're having a great fucking time, and I go, God damn, surfing looks like fun.

Yeah. But you know when surfing doesn't look like fun? Maybe. When that wave comes over your fucking head and smashes you into the rocks and pulverizes your bones with a million pounds of pressure, and you can't get to the surface. Well, that's surfing, too. Yeah, psychedelics will definitely roll your ass if you don't know what you're fucking doing.

Especially if you fight it. You try to fight it. The worst. Yeah, there's people that are fighting reality every day. And they often have like a sort of a fake map of the world that they've devised in their head. And that's how they navigate. They navigate through this fake map of the world. But a lot of the little segments in their mind

that they have associated with certain things and details, a lot of it is delusional because you're trying to protect yourself from your own failures. You know what I mean? Especially with men, I think. We have, you know, guys have these fucked up egos that are designed to make sure that you have a will to survive when a cheetah attacks or fight off another tribe so that your DNA stays intact. Well, that will is a fucking creepy thing just running around through your vans.

Yeah. What we're talking about here is what they called set and setting, which is like when you're going to take a psychedelic, what's your mind state? What's your emotional state when to take a psychedelic, what's your mind state? What, what's, what, how, what's your emotional state when you take the psychedelic? And if you go back to the idea that, what's his name? John Mark Allegro. What's his name? Yeah. John Mark Allegro.

Yeah. John Mark Allegro talking about how early Christianity was a mushroom cult. And you go back and you look at the idea of when you're going to take communion or when you go to pray or when you go to the sacred place you're supposed to um forgive your brothers and your sisters because but so the idea is before you go into a psychedelic state you need to as much as you can work out the shit that you're avoiding because when you go into that psychedelic state anything that you're trying to skip around any of those aspects of your personality that need to be leveled or need to be Balanced are going to spring out at you in a million different ways that are really intense

And if you're not prepared for that, then you'll have the bad trip and the bad trip is you hallucinate You can see we'll see crazy shit. You look in the walls and see skulls why are you seeing skulls? why are you seeing bubbling skulls in the wall? well you're seeing bubbling skulls because that's what you're projecting from inside of you because you're fucking scared of death, you're scared to die, you're terrified of letting go you don't want to

your body doesn't want to die and until you deal with that initial thing then all these other neuroses will spring up after that, you know, your avoidance of reality, all the different weird ways that you're trying to avoid reality, which is essentially just trying to avoid coming to the ground, to the terrain that you're on. And the terrain that we're all on is fucking intense. We're on a terrain where we are going to go extinct. And you know, who knows, depending on how old you are, you know, but depending on how much technology advances, between like 70 and 10 years, 2 years, 1 year, that's an intense realm to exist on. reactor where they're terrified that if any seismic event occurred, like there's a zero

chance of surviving a seismic event, and that they would have another blown reactor. And we were talking about it on the podcast, and someone made a clip of it and put it on this website, where it's like, and people were discussing this, like this is a serious issue. One of the things that I was saying was that we're going to have spots in this world because of nuclear power where for hundreds of thousands of years it's going to be dead wastelands yeah dead yeah and there's a bunch of them and there's a bunch more plants out there that could make a bunch more spots dead like and this has just been less than a hundred years we've been doing this we've already got three giant spots where you

can't go to anymore yeah and have you seen like the places where they store the nuclear rods they like have special places like caves and yeah they put it in and i believe that they've on the signs around the place they actually have like skulls and shit they have things yeah so in case society collapses and everyone forgets and thousands of years pass you go wandering up to that place, and there's this fucking skull. And you just recognize, okay, this is a cursed place. Nuclear power is one of the dumbest, most brilliant ideas ever. It's so dumb and so brilliant at the same time.

Humans have a lot of hubris, you know. Yeah. This is a ridiculous one, though. I mean, we're fucking with something that there is no technology to clean it. Yeah. This is a ridiculous one, though. I mean, we're fucking with something that there is no technology to clean it. There's no technology to turn it into anything other than toxic, lethal, horrible, killing shit. Yeah, it sucks, man. It's like the... It's ridiculous.

The exuberance of when that stuff initially came out and people thought that they discovered endless fuel sources that exuberance like was everywhere it seemed like a real it really seemed like the most beautiful uh it seemed like we were entering into utopia for a while but it's so it's you know the joke i was doing in my act about it was that did anybody ask them like what happens when the power goes off? Somebody was like dude you being negative There had to be like some sort of a stupid argument where no one considered the possibility that the power could go off You could lose both backup generators. You have no other way of fixing this. He's built a son He built a little tiny son and you're just gonna leave it there like that's that's insane

Well, yeah, I mean and you can't cool it off. You going to leave it there. That's insane. And you can't cool it off. You can't cool it off. It's a demon. Basically, you've summoned a demon that you can't send back. That is a demon. It is. It really, truly is. You have summoned a demon when you have nuclear power. If you really stop and think about that, if a demon existed and in his very

presence, he was poisoning the environment and no plants could grow I mean that is a demon by definition anyone that gets near him dies a horrible twisted death that's a demon yeah this is something people don't understand with like a cult talk where people talk about demons like summoning demons and summoning spirits they take that shit literally so they hear someone saying I you know I'll invoke these things to summon a demon. And so then a lot of great movies have been made after that, the literal interpretation of that. But every fucking day, man, not just on the grand scale without summoning nuclear power,

but in little ways, people fucking summon demons into their life all the time with no thought of how to get rid of it. Every time, you know, like when people shoot heroin? That's summoning a fucking demon. Like you've been told by every single other like necromancer who's summoned that demon, that shit will fuck you up.

But people who do heroin, they always start off with like, you know what, I'm just gonna do it once. Just wanna see what it feels like. Everyone does that

and then you fucking end up under a fucking bridge with three cocks in your mouth All from summoning this one stupid fucking demon that that has just destroyed so many people and heroin Demons a great word for heroin because it offers you something because so many people they say oh, yeah fucking Jimi Hendrix love this stuff or Oh yeah, fucking Jimi Hendrix loved this stuff. Or Elliot Smith, listen to how beautiful his music is.

You can go on and on about the people who shot heroin and made beautiful stuff. So there is an exchange. I mean, doesn't that kind of tickle around in your head? Lenny Bruce was blasting the shit. Yeah. Doesn't it kind of tickle around? You're like, what the fuck? What is that?

Maybe there is a little landscape. You rise up and see this landscape that you can't see from the psychedelic perspective. Maybe. It doesn't seem to be worth it, whatever it is. All I look at is what makes you happy. I don't see people taking heroin and getting super happy from it. Everyone that I've ever known that did heroin, the comedown it was unbelievably bad like bone jarring they would say your bones would ache that's how they would describe it I had a friend who he was a he was a good buddy of mine that lived in New York and came to visit me and I didn't know when

he was coming to visit me that he was trying to kick heroin and that he was going to do is just come and hang out with me at my house in California and kick heroin with me so that's I did not know I didn't I didn't know how bad he had it I hadn't seen him in a couple of years so he he flew out and the dude was just in bed sick for like six seven days he couldn't go anywhere man I would get him food and shit and he he couldn't go anywhere, man. I would get him food and shit, and he couldn't go anywhere. He came with me to work one day. I was on news radio.

He came and just sat around the set. But he couldn't move around, man. The dude was, he was jacked. It's amazing to see that, isn't it? It's amazing to see the traps that we set for ourselves in the world that are completely avoidable. But for some reason, we always set these traps and then they smash on us and we go through this awful period. And then if you're lucky, you get out on

the other side. That kind of goes back to what you were talking about, this idea of like having that near death experience or having this awful catastrophe happen in your life if you handle it the right way You can become a million times stronger and better from that catastrophe people don't realize that so they're always putting off What could essentially be the thing that makes them happier than they've ever been in their life? What's yeah? Well, that's that's kind of a weird way of looking at it I mean you can you could possibly be happy because of a catastrophe, or it could be horrible. You could lose someone you love.

You know, I don't think all catastrophes will necessarily lead to great... Not all. Great revelations. But I think occasionally it can give you an enhanced perspective, something that happens to you. I mean, the most interesting people that we all know are people that have gone through a lot of shit in their life. Yes.

A lot of crazy experiences. You know, the having to overcome terrible things in places is sort of what makes them exceptional. That's right, man. But there's a certain group of people who like to live pretending that catastrophes will never happen to them right this is a ridiculous way that's the yeah the people that are overweight smoking every day and talk i have a friend who he's i guess he's like 60 and uh he he smokes two packs a day and he'll tell you like he's always like making excuses like they've even said now that uh it's all either you have the gene or you

do not so there's a lot of people that will smoke cigarettes and never i've been smoking cigarettes for 40 years i am i do obviously i don't have the gene or i don't have cancer i went to the doctor my doctor says you look great you look great the doctor's looking at you and he's like you smoke how much a day and you're like two packs and he's like you look great you look great get the fuck out of here what is he gonna do to someone who's fucking intentionally poisoning themselves all day? You're intentionally poisoning yourself all day. Not even one pack, you glutton. You glutton, nicotine vampire.

Two packs a day, all day. Of course your doctor's going to tell you you look great. You look great. Get the fuck out of here. I'm going to see you soon, though, bitch. You're going to be back soon. You're going to be back for some crazy shit. I'm calling my uncle up right now. My uncle's an oncologist and we got our eye on you. That's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. That's incredible. I never thought of what a moneymaker smokers are for doctors.

Well, of course. I mean, if you're a doctor, you want your people, well, if you're a real doctor and it's obviously people that don't operate for money. You know, they operate because they love being an excellent surgeon or an excellent doctor. And, you know, we're not disparaging the medical profession at all. Of course not. But if you were, like, some money-grubbing crazy doctor, but there are a few of those out there, right? Yeah, I've heard of them. Yeah, there's, if we're down then, there is some money-grubbing, like Michael Jackson's doctor.

Dude, my... That fucking crazy guy? I have, I'll show you, man, I've got fucking fillings in my mouth that don't need to be there. Because my dentist, as it turns out, was giving unnecessary fillings to people.

Oh, my God. So I've got, like, I've got fucking... What a monster. When I was a kid, I just thought I was, I just thought I naturally was always getting cavities. Oh, my God. You know what I mean? I was always getting... What a monster. When I was a kid, I just thought I naturally was always getting cavities.

Oh, my God. You know what I mean? I was always getting... What a monster. I was getting blasted with fucking lead. This guy's ruining kids' teeth, drilling into kids' teeth and making money. I hope he's in jail. Is he in jail?

I don't know what happened to him when that scandal hit. That's not just fraud. I would beat the fuck out of you. You'd drill holes in my kid's head that didn't need to be there. Yeah. Because you're trying to make money. Like that fucking judge. Oh my god. I would want to beat the fuck out of that dentist. Wouldn't it be great to mash his fucking head?

Could you imagine anybody that would do that to a little kid? Yeah. Just to make some money? Sure. That's a big... This is something that... This is a facet of reality. That's so scary. I can't imagine. What mind state do you have to be in? Especially you're a fucking dentist.

You're already making great money. Like, why do you need the extra cavity dough? Exactly. What? I mean, how? Jesus Christ. How can you justify that? That would make me.

I would never sleep. I would have to find that guy in prison. I might get arrested just so I can go to prison with him. And find out what prison he's at. He's fucking underground by now. that guy in prison. I might get arrested just so I can go to prison with him and find out what prison he's at. He's fucking underground by now. I mean, if it was my kid, you know what I'm saying? I mean, I would literally, I would want to get arrested and put a cell near him just so I could beat the fuck out of him

after he got arrested. Yeah, well, there's a lot of... I just wouldn't be able to deal with it. Some guy drilling into your baby's head to try to make himself some extra scratch because he likes to be a big shot at a restaurant and buy a nice bottle of wine. Is that what's going on?

Sure. Fucking asshole. Yeah, I mean, who knows? But think of it. The thing to me is like, there's a lot of people out there who live like that. Sure. There's a lot of people out there that are sociopaths. I mean, you've seen the studies. There's been, you people out there that are sociopaths. You've seen the studies. There's been, I believe it was

Time Magazine or someone recently had some article about a new book that's out. It was something like one in a hundred. One in a hundred people are just fucking sociopaths. Remember the guy who recently went rampaging through that kids camp? Was it in, where was it? Norway? Was it Norway?

Yes. Norway, yeah. Norway. He went rampaging through that camp just killing fucking kids. Yeah. kids camp was it in where was it norway was it norway yeah there was norway yeah norway he went rampaging through that camp just killing fucking yeah and over there they don't they're not like the united states they don't have a death penalty so like they're giving this guy a fair trial and they made a big show of the fact that we're going to do this there's not going to be some kind of crazy visceral response to this and so in the trial the guy apparently is going into a detailed account of how he went walking through this camp and shot kids who were hiding from him and shot kids and how they tried to run and how he found some of them by thinking where he would hide if he was one of these kids and he's enjoying he's getting off on it because

he's a sociopath it feels good for him to tell the story. So in these situations, sometimes I think, has pacifism gone too far in this situation? The guy clearly shot a bunch of kids. The guy, why do we need to discover if his true motivation or what his real crime was. We know what the crime was. There's a bunch of dead kids because this guy went rampaging through. Sometimes, don't you think you can go too far on the side of... 100%. Yeah, why... Yeah, well, look at the Dalai Lama, man.

Dalai Lama seems like a great guy, but he's never gotten a blowjob in his life. That's a stupid way to live. We don't know that. He says he doesn't have sex. Oh, he does? Yeah. He says he doesn't have relations. He says it does? Yeah. He says he doesn't have relations.

He says it like he sees a woman he's attracted to, but he really has too much work. It's just, you know, he laughs about it. But that's silly. That's silly. You're missing out on a big chunk of life. I think he's humped. I think he's got some pussy.

Yeah. Well, I would hope so. I wouldn't hate him for it. I think it would be a good thing. I would love him for it. But he's a monk. Isn't he? Yeah, but I mean... I mean, isn't that like part of the whole thing?

Is the celibacy the idea that, you know, you're beyond the needs of the flesh? Yeah, there's like the... I mean, I don't... Honestly, I've heard with Tibetan Buddhism that there's some tantric sex that happens in there, and... We should probably Google this, right? Yeah, please do, because that's... Yeah, is the Dalai Lama...

Is the Dalai Lama celibate? Celibate. I'd love to know that. Yeah, please do. Yeah, is the Dalai Lama. Is the Dalai Lama celibate? Celibate. I'd love to know that. Yeah, it seems like an interesting question. This keyword sucks a fat dick. I mean, I guess that I understand why monks say to be celibate. If it's not an ethical decision, I understand, like, the complication that can come

from fucking people is ridiculous. Spectacular. Spectacular. It's conflagrations. Like lifelong conflagrations. You can bring a being into life. Yeah, you can. It's a pain in the ass. Yeah, it's a pain in the fucking ass, man.

He's not only supposed to be a virgin. Yeah, he's a virgin. Well, there you go, ladies. The Dalai Lama's a pain in the fucking ass, man. He's not only supposed to be a virgin. Yeah, he's a virgin. Yeah. Well, there you go, ladies. The Dalai Lama's a virgin. Dude, have you heard about that glue in India that you blast into your balls to clog up your seminal? Yeah, you sent it to me. Yeah.

So is that what it is? It's load glue? Load glue. It's the new male birth control that apparently is not as permanent as getting a vasectomy. It lasts between five and ten years, but they essentially just put airplane glue or some kind of gel into your... They just glue you up. So you can't... Your jizz doesn't have the fucking worms in it anymore. That's sad.

You're poisoning your loads. How could that possibly be yours? You should poison loads. I bet your loads smell like fucking... You're going to make zombie babies. Your loads probably smell like rubber cement. Could you imagine if that was like the beginning of the next fucking 28 Days Later type movie?

It turns out that you shoot some shit into your loads and what it makes is zombie babies that eat their way out of your pussy. yeah that's fucking great that's a great harm bites the doctor and the hand of doctor becomes a zombie zombie doctor fucking furiously attacks all the nurses they all stab each other they come into a fucking puddle slippery of blood a bunch of zombie fucking doctors biting each other and shit. All from one fucking zombie baby. All from one zombie baby from one zombie load that was created by this

crazy drug. An Indian doctor created it. Just a tornado of infection spreads through the nation from this one hot point. Well, we don't know. They call in Dustin Hoffman in their fucking space suit. But you know what? He knows that he just had that procedure

done to his balls. And he like shot a load into his girlfriend and she's pregnant. So like the suspense through the movie is wondering if his girlfriend has got a zombie baby in her.

This is a great movie. It's a great movie. Directors out there, let's get this made. Whoever made Troll Hunter, please contact us. Troll Hunter. Troll Hunter's great. I know. It's really fun, man. contact us. Trollhunter.

Trollhunter's great. It's really fun, man. I know, I love that movie. It's a fun movie. It's the foreign one, right? The one in subtitles? Oh, wait, no, I thought you were talking about the worst movie ever made. No, this is actually not that bad. It's about a guy who goes and hunts trolls. There's like real live trolls.

It's a... Oh, Trollhunter's fucking awesome! Yeah, Trollhunter, yeah. It's really good. It's really fun. And it's a oh Troll Hunter is fucking awesome yeah Troll Hunter it's really good it's really fun and it's shot like found footage yes exactly

oh Troll Hunter is the best that was really good it's a fun movie more movies like that please that was fucking awesome I love stupid movies man like I'm so looking forward to the Avengers so much so that I feel like I'm getting away with something

by being able to watch it you know like I'm 44 years old at a certain point in time I'm supposed to be past that I feel like I'm getting away with something by being able to watch it. You know, like I'm 44 years old. At a certain point in time, I'm supposed to be past that. I'm supposed to be, you know, interested in mature things. But I'm not. I want to watch the Hulk fuck somebody up. Let me tell you something, man. That fucking idea of maturity or how you're supposed to act at some certain age,

what the fuck is that idea? Because the way you're supposed to act is so boring like it's basically saying just act like a act like you're gonna you're just a dying old piece of shit you don't like fucking super insane special effects anymore you certainly don't like video games my kids with their music these days you go to bed at 10 you know like fuck that whose idea was that anyway that was just like a control freak boring guy like this is how an adult acts yeah well it gets to a certain point in time when you compromise

your thinking everyday so much so for work you know if you have to go in and everyday you gotta sell vacuum cleaners and you're a dude I guarantee you there's some days when you don't want to go in and sell fucking vacuum cleaners you don't want to not swear all day you don't want to wear a tie but you got it.

That's part of the job. And so one of the ways to sort of keep that going where you're extreme is to make the whole rest of your life less extreme as well. No more fun shit. You need a sensible car. You can't drive a Mustang. You need to stop getting drunk on the weekends.

You've got a job. You've got to become sfw yeah safe for work safe for work yeah and that's why they're allowed to drug test you that's one of the most incredible things that we've let happen in this country employers are allowed to drug test their employees that's insane that the idea that someone you pay for a person's work. You don't own their flesh. You don't own them as a human being. Especially when we're talking about

stuff like medical marijuana, which is actually supposed to be legal in California. There's a lot of places where you still can't get a medical marijuana prescription. You can't get an exemption and work for a lot of different companies. They won't have it. They won't hire you. They don't want any potheads.

Yeah, it's a real problem because with corporations, I just learned this word and I really fucking love it. It's called diffusion of responsibility, which is the idea that in corporations, the responsibility gets so many people make decisions on things that no one person's to blame, right?

Yeah. So you know in the corporation, somewhere in the corporation, not everyone's anti-marijuana, just a couple of cunts. And you don't know who they are, but they got that in there. At some meeting, they just got it in

where other people didn't agree with them and they didn't speak up. That's what's annoying about it. You know that this is coming from just a few dipshits. The majority of people have no problem with it. Fucking Nancy Pelosi. Did you see she came out against Obama? Did you see that shit?

What'd she do? She fucking, she pointed out the fact that Obama's busted more dispensaries than Bush did. Wow. Because she's pro-medical marijuana. And she talked about all the help, how many people it actually helps. And like, what the fuck is Obama doing? Why is he arresting all these people when we voted on it? You know,

diffusion of responsibility is another place that's used. Yeah. That's in the rape. Oh yeah. Right. Where one person is much more likely to be able to rape another person when there's a big group of people around because nobody knows who should act first.

And everybody feels like it's not their responsibility because there's so many people. You always got to act first. That's the rule. Always act first. If you see someone on the fucking street who doesn't look like they're doing okay, stop and ask them if they're okay. If you see somebody's car is fucked up

on the side of the road, not a flat. What if it's the first zombie? What if you go, are you okay? And that fucking bitch leans over and bites your arm in half and blood's screaming. You're screaming as you're driving to a hospital. You turn into a zombie and crash into a tree. Look, man, there's like a 90% chance if you see

someone on the street and try to help them that they're probably the first zombie. It could happen. But, it could be the other 10%. Hey, man, look, I'm not taking any chances. When the zombie apocalypse hits, you don't want to be fucking patient zero. That's what I'm saying. What if you see a rape happening and you try to stop it and it was just a dude trying to rape a zombie?

Or a zombie trying to rape a dude. That would be a lot scarier. Raping zombies? That's the next step. If a dude was raping a zombie, you'd go, he's an idiot. Why would you want to rape a zombie? That's the next evolution. If a dude was raping a zombie, you'd go, he's an idiot. Why would you want to rape a zombie? That's the next evolution of zombies. Because we made them run.

Now they're raping us. Being an ultimate fighting champion, that's not badass enough. You need to be a zombie raper. Have you ever raped a zombie? The thing about raping a zombie is they'll fight hard, but no one cares if you beat the shit out of them. You can let zombies loose in the field, and you could just go beat the shit out of them. No, dude, this is a sketch. I actually wrote a sketch like this.

The problem is zombies can infect you, right? Yes. How does that work? That doesn't make any sense. Only 28 days later zombies can infect you. Well, no. Biological warfare zombies. There's different explanations

and The Walking Dead's got a really fucking good one that I, it's a good spoil, a lot of shit to say it, but there's a lot of different explanations for it that's pretty cool. The way that the creators of these stories come up with like what it is. Right. I mean, there's no rule for it. It could be anything. But is, does

in The Walking Dead, it's a biological thing where it infects people, but there's movies where they come out of the ground. So obviously that's not what's up with those. No, that's a whole different thing. Those are different ones. That's like, I mean,'s movies where they come out of the ground. So obviously that's not what's up with those. No, that's a whole different thing. Those are different ones. That's like, I mean, which ones do they come out of the ground? That's Return of the Living Dead.

Yeah, that kind of shit. One of my favorite fucking... Fucking genius goddamn movies. Genius fucking... You know why it was great? Because the zombies could fucking talk. Yeah. So remember they had that lady strapped to the table?

Spoiler alert. They had that lady strapped to the table who was like a half lady strapped to the table it was like a half lady remember that and they're like they asked her because no one's asked a zombie they asked her why do you eat brains remember that she's like wow it stops the pain of death oh my god right dude because we never get to really interview a zombie i I remember that now. Yeah. That's right. They would call out brains.

Brains. Brains. Oh, that was such a good thing. Dude, that was a great, I mean, I was confusing that with Night of the Living Dead. But Return of the Living Dead is actually better. Return of the Living Dead, they pop out of graves. Yeah. Night of the Living Dead, as I recall, sit the the opening of night of the living dead

remember it's in the graveyard and he's trying to scare his girlfriend and she's like who's that man walking back there and there's some dude kind of walking far away this is when zombies couldn't walk fast right and so he just kind of ambles up to the guy and like it throws him down the guy hits his head on a gravestone and then she's like driving away in terror. But we never know if that zombie emerged from a coffin. I think that was somebody who was like, I don't think I don't think, first of all

you're not going to get out of a fucking coffin if you're a zombie. Zombies are already weak. Are they weak? They all vary. Night of the Living Dead zombies, weak, slow, lumbering, purely retarded. So if you were a really good kickboxer, you could probably keep a lot of them off of you. Easily.

You'd break their body. A lot of leg kicks. A simple moat. A simple moat would fix most of the zombies. But if they bite you, you're fucked, right? You're fucked. You're a zombie now. If you get bitten by a zombie, you're a zombie.

Is that Night of the Living Dead as well? That's Night of the Living Dead, Return of the Living Dead. I think all of them share the idea that if you get bitten by one, you turn into one. Huh. I thought, hmm. I thought you had to die in some of them. Oh. And then you come back as a zombie.

Well, I think in all of them. In all of them. Night of the Living... Not in 28 Days Later, remember? You just get one bite and you're fucked. Remember when that chick hatcheted her boyfriend? Yes. She macheted him and he's like,

it's just a scratch. And she just, fuck you. And just, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. With a fucking machete. She macheted him in the kitchen. That was radical. Remember that? That was such a good fucking movie.

That was a great fucking movie. That's the greatest zombie movie of all time. 28 Days Later, in my opinion, is the greatest. Because it's the most original. The whole scene when the guy wakes up and he doesn't know what the fuck is going on, that's really the same scene that The Walking Dead has used. They've used the same

sort of theme. This guy wakes up in the hospital and he doesn't realize that the world has turned into a fucking zombie shithole. How do you get to do that? That's sort of the same scene as 28 Days Later you know what

we'd have to look into is which came first uh 28 Days Later or the Walking Dead comics cause that comes from the Walking Dead comics so whichever came first

well let's find out yeah Walking Dead comics let's find out the best Walking Dead comics buy them if you haven't they're so fucking good how many years do you think

they've been around for I don't know but I like for a time, there's a lot of them. And the show is good. I love the show. The show gets a little too soap opera-like, but the fucking comics are just brutal. If you haven't, download them to your iPad and buy them, because they're fucking awesome.

Let's see, Wikipedia. This is cool that we can figure this out instantly. Yeah, we live in a fucking beautiful time, man. Some guy said something really recently. I'll go look at it after I figure this out. 2003. Is what? Is first issue of the Walking Dead comics.

So now, let's look up return of the living dead uh... twenty eight days later oh yeah yeah sorry i think that was earlier i'm pretty sure but i'm just guessing uh... see two thousand two hmmm

it's earlier son of a bitch well that's so close that it might have been parallel thinking yeah you know who knows these guys first of all it's kind of like if you're gonna make a zombie movie about a big apocalypse wouldn't a cool way to do it to be wake up and yes i mean everybody's afraid you wake up and you're gonna get up in the morning and nuclear bombs had already dropped you know what else it serves? What purpose it serves is you don't have to explain how it happened. Yeah.

Because you start at the beginning of the guy waking up, so you don't really have to go into the whole shit preceding it. Which, by the way, I fucking love. Yeah. Dawn of the Dead. Oh. Yeah. Remember Dawn of the Dead in the fucking news studio? Remember that? It's all falling apart.

It's just starting to fall the fuck apart and people are trying to like rationalize what's happening SWAT teams are going in and just blowing the shit out of people and all of society's collapsing I love that I like starting at the collapse of society and then going into the post-apocalyptic state I hate movies that are the lead-up to the disaster where like 80% of the movie is like the lead up and then you just get 20% of apocalypse. I like fucking 90% apocalypse You know, what's a really cool movie? It's weird. It's very original. It's called Pontypool It's I think it's a Canadian movie and it's about

these people that are and it's about these people that are in a radio studio. The whole show takes place, the whole movie takes place in essentially one scene, one area. It's all in this radio studio. They're trapped in there while this zombie apocalypse is raging through their town. It's pretty fucking cool. It's fucking cool, man.

Yeah, and the people that were working with them become infected and they're trapped in the sound booth. They realize that these things are blind, but they can hear you, and they can smell you, and they're trying to get at them through the glass. It's pretty fucking cool, man. It sucks. It's like a real low-budget sort of a movie, but I found it to be pretty original. Dude.

If you know what I'm saying, it's like one of those, you want to watch something creepy? Let's watch something creepy, Nights. Yeah, have you seen The Road or read The Road? Dude, that's the Hugo, Viggo Morgans. I watched that up until the point when he was teaching his son how to shoot himself in the mouth. And I was like, check, please. I think the author of that book was Cormac McCarthy, I think.

I can't remember the name. The book was insane. of that book was Cormac McCarthy, I think. I can't remember the name. The book was insane. But that fucking movie, man, to me, that really captured what it's going to look like if it all goes down in flames. That's what it fucking looks like. Just want people

just desperately trying to find food. Because even The Walking Dead, they're trying to find food but somehow they always end up, I guess they're on a farm and part of it, they end up with some pretty nice home-cooked meals. And you know people are like people have like setups where they have big fences and yeah and they look crossbows healthy they look like they've been taking vitamins and going on a fucking treadmill because they have because they're

actors right but the fucking the road the road man yeah nobody looks good it looks like they told nobody to eat yeah for like days before you shoot pale and stressed out yeah

I'm like man this fucking that would be the way to do it too if you were gonna be one of those method guys one of those Gary Oldman motherfuckers

yeah I bet he would not eat for a couple days yeah I mean you don't eat and you drink a lot of fucking coffee and you lose a lot of sleep

and you get into a nice fatigued state of, like, stress. Because that's what it is. That's what it's gonna be like, man. It's gonna be fucking pure stress. You're probably gonna die. You're probably gonna get arrested. You're probably gonna watch a friend die. You're probably gonna watch your girlfriend get raped

by some fucking super powerful dudes who are just like, fuck it. And it's not going to be like the criminals that you see on Mad Max. They're going to be dumber than those. It's just going to be dumb people who have power. Just dumb people with a gun. That's going to be the problem

when the fucking grid shuts down. Dumb people with guns. And it is entirely within the realm of possibility. It's ignored, but it's entirely within the realm of possibility. It's ignored, but it's entirely within the realm of possibility. This is so fragile. We have a house made of toothpicks

and tissue paper, and it's on the edge of a cliff. In relationship to how our civilization is set up and structured for longevity in this incredibly volatile galaxy, this incredibly volatile solar system. Just the planet itself,

all the natural shit that can go down, and on top of it, all the dumb fucking shit that we're doing, like nuclear power. Let me tell you something, dude. People are fucking assholes. If you want fucking proof of that, go check out the Dark Ages.

Go look at what the fucking Catholic Church did to our species this is where it gets crazy about the catholic church dude the catholic church molested our species when they were in their teens when when our species was just fucking getting shit going the catholic church came in and just started torching people burning people killing people left and right wiping out entire civilizations all in the name of Jesus. And all of this from an interpretation of the fucking New Testament, which is Paulian

theology from a guy who never met Christ. And some people speculate the real disciples thought he was a liar, called him a liar, called Paul a liar, which is why when you look at the epistles from Paul, a lot of times he's defending himself. He's like, I'm not a liar. Called him a liar. Called Paul a liar, which is why when you look at the epistles from Paul, a lot of times he's defending himself. He's like, I'm not a liar. Why would you say this to me? Because the real disciples were like, hey dude, who the fuck are you?

So he was like a late night infomercial salesman. There you go. Exactly. And that shit got adopted by the Roman Empire because they wanted to go to war. And they just were like, yeah, let's use this. We can use this. Let's figure out a way to make love your neighbor as yourself and love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul into going into the Middle East and stealing all their gold. Let's figure out a fucking way to do that. Oh, I know.

Here's an idea. I know. There are heathens. Let's go over there and kill the motherfuckers in the name of the guy who said don't kill anybody You know I've had this we've had this really Intense series of conversations with people about conspiracy theories lately both pro and con like having Brian Cowan He doesn't believe in any conspiracy theory and Eddie Bravo who believes in a lot of conspiracy theories But the most fascinating thing to me is how many people will just blatantly dismiss conspiracy theories like like 9-11 is my favorite one you cannot dismiss 9-11 as a

conspiracy theory because it was a conspiracy that caused 9-11 from the enemy in the first place okay someone conspired some big event and made some human beings made planes fly in the buildings and a bunch of people died. That is a fact. 100%. The idea that no one could conspire to do that is ridiculous

because it had to be a conspiracy in order for it to happen in the first place. Let me talk... There's a lot of people involved. They had to keep their mouth shut. They had to pass information through in order for it to happen in the first place. It's a lot of people involved. They had to keep their mouth shut. They had to pass information through in JPEG form. They would fucking send things to each other by sending each other innocuous looking emails with pictures in them. And then people would take those pictures and open them up in a program that would allow to see writing in between the ones and zeros of the image.

Yes. How about that? Here's the thing. That's pretty dope. I always look at this shit from the perspective of like, whenever you get to be in any kind of corporation, if you go to a high enough level, you realize that people stop following the same rules

that everybody else followed. Like, I can remember, I used to work at this summer camp in North Carolina called Camp Pinnacle, and I can remember, like, I went to camp there, too, as aacle. And I can remember like, I went to, I went to camp there too as a camper, but I can remember at one point, um, I can remember at one point at being a counselor. And then like the people who ran the camp came during the time when all the kids are

supposed to be taking naps to my cabin. Like, Hey, come on. And then we went out in the lake and just floated on inner tubes. And I was like, fuck, this is breaking all the rules, but it's the people running the camp breaking the rules, so it's totally cool. But that's a tiny, tiny micro example, but it's the same thing all over the place up top, where it's like, look, dude, don't worry about that cocaine charge. Oh, how much do you owe in taxes?

Don't worry about that. We'll take care of that, man. How about when presidents leave office and then dismiss a whole bunch of people? Yeah. Like, who are these pardons? Presidents are allowed to just give wide open pardons to a gang of people for doing all kinds of creepy shit. Yeah, why do they get to do that, you know?

That's a crazy rule. You get to bypass the whole legal system, and they have like a list. It's not just one person. Like, they have a personal cause, and there's a guy who's unjustly accused, and I think this man needs to be pardoned. No, no, no, it's not just one person like they have a they have a personal cause there's a guy who's unjustly accused and i think this man needs to be pardoned and no no it's not that it's there's a list they get like 20 or 30 of them or something crazy oh sure man how many do they get to pardon i don't know but they're i bet it's an unlimited amount i bet there's some checks coming in though because i feel like i feel like somebody's abused it recently like maybe Clinton How many president how many pardons does the president get that would it be yeah, god this keyboard sucks that's crazy though, man That is crazy. So yeah, I think fucking conspiracy's happen cuz they happen in the smallest levels of society Why wouldn't they happen in the highest levels of society? Yeah, totally

why wouldn't they happen in the highest levels of society? Yeah, totally. Yeah, of course, man. It's everywhere you go, man. Unless people are operating under the illusion that politicians are honest or don't like... Presidents can pardon as many people as they want. So that you can pardon everyone. God damn.

So if you were the president, like if Obama got pissed and went out of office as the last attack, he could be like, I'm pardoning every prisoner in every prison over the country. Yo, dude, sweat this. President Clinton issued 456 executive clemency orders, 395 pardons, and 61 commutations between 1993 and January 20th of 2001. That's amazing.

President Bush has 191 pardons. Jimmy Carter granted amnesty to all Vietnam-era draft dodgers. Wow. That's cool. That's pretty beautiful. So Obama, when he gets out of office, he could pardon all people in there for medical marijuana. You know who dodged the draft in Vietnam? Ted Nugent.

It's kind of crazy. No shit. Because he's just like, he's such a pro-war guy. But there's a depiction of what he did. I don't know if it's true. But, I mean, he definitely didn't go to war. But now he's like super pro-war. Because he's gotten older.

Pro-war is a weird stance. Well, the idea of pro-america I mean look if we really were living in the game of thrones you better be fucking pro-america You know you better be like down for this one team because otherwise Some dothraki hordes from the other side of the world might fucking hop on a ship and come over and jack you It was very important back then but as we're connected by the internet The idea of countries is becoming less and less relevant it's all about local government and laws and the the whole world is one big connection the whole world is one big piece that's why all these people in the middle east are freaking out

that the the real rally and cry for freedom is coming from the internet that's how they're using twitter and they're using facebook to communicate with, and that's all emanating from the internet. Well, man, I heard this thing, and I never read it. I think a teacher told me this, and I never explored it. I'm sure I'll find out now, though. But it was this idea about communism, and how Karl Marx said that real communism was going to be a natural evolution

of society into real communism, not something imposed, something that's just a natural, obvious result of people getting smarter and understanding the way things work. Money aids in a lot of things. What it does is it gives you an incentive to innovate. It gives you an incentive to work hard. It gives you something to show a score, which a lot of people like to see. If you want innovation. Right. I'm definitely not a communist. No, I know you're not.

I'm definitely not anti-money. But what I'm starting to see happening is that the more that you work in like little collectives with people, the more you help the people around you, you know, as much as you can, just the people directly around you, the more that group rises up and succeeds, right? And this is the idea of the, you know, new form of like podcast networks, which is where you have like, like, like, like my friend, he's doing a podcast network called Feral Audio, and the idea is it's just a group of people that are, like, plugging in together and, like, sharing profits. This is the new model of things.

It's a collective of artists and people. Well, I mean, I'm not sure if the podcast world represents a microcosm of an entire universe. Well, no, no. But here's the thing. This is what's beautiful about it, and this is why I bring it up as a new thing. The reason that it's, the reason we can do podcasts and the reason, like, you just shot your own special on your own and, like, seeing comedians shoot their own special on their own

is because we have more access to technology than we have before. And technology is shrinking, getting smaller, which is basically creating a situation where collectives form instead of the pyramid, Illuminati, top-down power structure where someone owns the equipment and gets the majority of the dough. Do you know what I'm saying? It's like everything's shifting, widening out, spreading out. And that's why these fucking tyrants in the Middle East, it doesn't work when people have information. It doesn't work.

Well, you know, I've always, I remembered when they were talking to Muhammad Ali, because when I was a kid, I remember when he had gotten, when he had fought Michael Spinks, it was on television. It was like a big deal. I remember my parents were trying to explain to me when I was a kid like what had happened. That they'd kept him from fighting. Like my parents wanted to see him fight. I can't believe my parents

were into fighting at all. But they wanted to see Muhammad Ali beat Leon Spinks. It was like some important fight. And their idea was that this guy was like a cultural hero because what he had done was stepped up and said,

why would I shoot a guy in Vietnam? No Vietnam man ever did anything to me. And he's right. And he was 100% right. And everybody knew it. And it made sense. And because of that, they punished him. And they wouldn't let him box for three years.

They took away his livelihood in the prime of his career, like physically. Yeah, that phenomena that you just described has been going on since the history of top-down power structures. This book I'm reading, now I can't remember the name, it's so fucking good, but it's got, you know, a picture of Copernicus standing before, like, Catholic popes

and being judged for talking about the fact that the earth revolves around the sun. You know? It's like, people say the truth throughout history, and many people have gone to jail or gotten burned at the fucking stake for it. Ooh, hello.

That's criminal water. I think the last time I drank this energy drink. It's pretty mellow. It's pretty mellow for an energy drink. It's like a lot of it is natural. It's like B12 in it and shit. Did these guys sponsor you? No, it's just a friend of mine.

Lime light. Powerful lime light. My friend Tom Atencio, he used to run Affliction, and he was the guy who put together the, or one of the guys who put together their mixed martial arts cards that they had. And I always appreciated that, that he did that. They, you know, Affliction supported MMA. So I became friends with him.

And I was wearing their shirts for a little while, but then they fired him. So I quit out of respect for my friend. I avoided my partnership with them. So he sends me soda now. He's cool as fuck. He's a good dude. I just really respected what he and his company did for MMA. They really supported a lot of fighters. They supported a lot of fighters by promoting them. They put on actual shows. had I think three big shows You know and some of them were fucking great great fights

They put together some wild fights, but they just found out it's way too expensive People don't realize how much money the UFC spends behind the scenes like how much it cost to keep the machine running It's a it's an amazing amount of work. There's so many people behind the scenes, and all of them have a long history. And the UFC has this big name. It's hard to fuck with that. It's like to try to make a rival football league,

even if you have a lot of talent, man, everybody knows what the NFL is. They tried that shit a couple of times. They tried it with the XFL members, like Vince McMahon, the wrestling guy, tried to do that. It's hard. It's hard to get people to, you know,

and the UFC is consistent with getting the best talent. Consistently get the best talent. Like what's her name? Oh, yeah. Ronda Rousey? No, the girl who walks around with the number.

Oh, Ariane? Oh, man. You like that? She is beautiful. She's got a perfect face. Oh god perfect everything man her face is just she has a flawless face it's like wow she's so pretty what's really funny about watching her is she's gotten down this casual wave to the hordes of pervs who are screaming like not acknowledging the fact that it's like an apocalypse now. Oh my word, you're surrounded by the sea of testosterone. She does this little side, like two-finger wave.

Do you remember that scene? That was a great fucking scene in the apocalypse now. Yeah. That seems so real. Totally real, man. If you'd ever seen it, what happens is these guys are over there fighting at war. It's only men. There's thousands of them.

And they fly in these play boy playmates and they're like dancing around on stage and it just gets angry it's just a it becomes like a mosh pit of gorillas and eventually they have to abandon and fucking fly out of there dude that was one of the best that movie was so did someone get left behind in that scene i don't remember i should i don't remember can i ask an important don't remember. Can I ask an important question? Fuck yeah. I think a lot of UFC fans wonder this every day, me included. Okay. Does, what's her name? Ariane.

Does she have a boyfriend? I do not know if she currently has a boyfriend. I do not know. Well, we're dying to know because we all feel like we don't. Do you think everyone has a shot? I know. That girl gets bombed on by... I can't...

By princes. Of course. She gets bombed on by the Rothschilds. She gets bombed on by people who transform into a reptilian in front of her. Here, take a diamond. She wouldn't do this, but if she wanted to. She wouldn't, but if she wanted to. She's the type of chick that could get some Middle East king to fly her out for a million bucks.

Easy. Yeah, easy. A million bucks a night. That's crazy. She's the type of chick that can get some Middle East king to fly her out for a million bucks. Easy. Yeah, easy. A million bucks a night. That's crazy. Fuck him for 10 million. If you have a trillion bucks, from what I understand, there's royal families that have so much money

and their money's not public. When people look at who's the richest man in the world, oh, it's Bill Gates. It's probably not. It's actually probably some dude in the Middle East that doesn't talk about it at all. And you don't know. Some prince or like they have extraordinary amounts of money.

And I don't think that a lot of times it gets measured up in the same pile. I might be wrong about that. But from what people have told me about like really, really wealthy people in the Middle East, they're some of the wealthiest people on earth. It's like insane, staggering amounts of wealth. The thing I like to think about is maybe, you know when you walk by a school and you see all the kids playing in the playground, some of them are fucking playing four squares, some of them are running around playing tag and they're just having a blast sometimes i think maybe that's what society is maybe we're just like kids playing around in this playground that's been created by really really

smart super wealthy people who kind of watch and watch maybe like maybe they have some fun with us they like throw shit in there every once in a while just to play around but they're so fucking powerful and rich they're not they don't need to go in there and like seem like they're famous or act like they're magical they just like to watch it's fun every once in a while they'll throw in something crazy you know every once in a while they'll throw in the aids virus or toss in well when you have power for no reason which essentially everyone at the very top of the heap has, there's no reason why you should have power. Okay, now, if you have power for no reason,

you know that it's not like you earned your power through your basketball skills, you know, the fact that you shoot a wicked three-pointer or you're awesome at the violin. No, there's no real tangible skill that you present that anybody else couldn't also have. You know what is vague characteristics like leadership and intelligence, the ability to speak well. God damn, there's a lot of people that have that. Yeah, there's

thousands of people out there in your neighborhood that can do that. Okay. So they know that you have to be treacherous in order to retain this power. When you see different laws every day that are being brought up, like the National Defense Authorization Act and all this other different stuff, when you see civil liberties getting eroded and you see corruption getting eroded, there's your evidence. That is the exact evidence that you need to know that the people that are in a position of power shouldn't be in power. They're trying to get more and more and more control. Why are you trying to get more and more control?

Why are you actively trying to get control? Instead of dealing with the issues that we already have, dealing with the crime that we already have, dealing with unsolved murders or what have you, instead of devoting your time into that aspect of helping society with law, instead of doing that, you're trying to take away civil liberties. You're trying to erode people's freedoms. That's the purest sign ever that the people who are in a position of power shouldn't be in a position of power.

It's really sad, too. It's pure. There's no arguing it. There's no denying it. Obama could never deny it. If you brought it up to him, there's nothing he could say. There's no way anybody could say, for your own good, we need to take away your ability to send a private email to somebody. You can't have that. Well, what they say is they inevitably, one thing that they'll always say is it's complicated. It's a very complex system.

You don't understand. There's a lot more to it than just legalizing marijuana. There's a lot more to it, Joe. It's always complicated. Vampires love complication. They love tangles and complexity and the opposite of simplicity. Simply because they, you know why? Because they fucking hate the truth.

And the truth is always simple. The truth is always just a very simple thing. It's a, you know, you jump off a cliff, you're going to die. It's if you fucking don't eat, you're going to be hungry. There's just some, it's a tweet tweet the truth is a tweet yeah fucking vampires they will take a truth and they'll transform it and extrapolate so much shit from it that it turns into a fucking lie and then they say you know we can't it's just too tangled up the world's economy is just too confusing this is why we've got to exploit these people this is why we've got to throw farmers in jail because it's complicated this is why we're at war we can't just not go to war it's complicated it's always complicated but in in real life it's not complicated there's

nothing fucking complicated about uh you probably shouldn't throw bombs places where there's kids that's like if you see somebody throwing bombs in a place where there's some kids you're gonna be like you know you probably shouldn't do that it fucking kills kids but like when it's no one else we don't understand there's a target insurgents insurgents could be in that oh you mean fucking farmers who are sick of you driving tanks through their opium fields is that the insurgents you're talking about well you've seen the original video from WikiLeaks, right? The collateral murder video?

Yeah. Where it shows the helicopter shooting missiles and shit into a car that has kids in it? Oh, yeah. And they, you know,

and someone says it's kids. Well, you know, they should have been taking their kids while they're carrying guns. I mean, whatever the fuck they said.

You know, you shouldn't have any kids with you. As if they should have thought about that since they're the enemy. They should have. Meanwhile, they were innocent. They shot a bunch of innocent people. It was a complete, total clusterfuck.

Sure. It's not complicated. It's a real simple thing about life. That's the thing. Here's the thing. It's a simple, there's some simple ideas. You're not supposed to shoot into cars that have kids in them. You're not supposed to shoot into cars that have kids in them.

And also, if you send out good energy into the world, you get good energy back. There's another basic principle that you can test all day. Test it next week. Yeah, they didn't even zoom in to see if the people do have guns. They just

fucking gunned them down, man. To have that ability and that kind of power and they're saying, oh, we're pretty sure this guy's got a gun, and this guy's got a gun, and they're like, permission to engage, and they get permission, they just fucking open up on these people.

And that's it. Those people don't exist anymore. That's it. And we wouldn't even know that that is happening. We wouldn't even know. Have you seen the new video, the Blackwater video that's been released recently? No.

The Young Turks had it on. That guy, Senk. I really like that guy's show. He's fucking fearless, man. He attacks everything. He attacks, like, he goes after that Peter Schiff guy. You know, Peter Schiff, when he starts, you know, making excuses for Wall Street. Right.

You know, and the way to fix this. And he's just like, no. And he calls him out on it. He's like, you just want to keep extracting more money from the system. You're talking bullshit. And he cut him off. And I liked it, man. It was interesting. But he was talking about this and he was talking about how, what was the fucking law? What was the law that was passed? Which one?

Shit. I've completely lost my thought. What was his fucking thing about? The Young Turks? Yeah. I didn't see it. Shit. God damn it. Look. I'll remember it in a moment. Let's rewind a few steps back.

All this macro shit, man, thinking about the macro, the conspiracy. Yeah, but this is going to drive me crazy if I don't remember what this fucking guy's video was about. Oh, the Iraqi, oh, Jesus Christ. This is why. It was so disturbing, I'm probably trying to forget it. It was watching the Blackwater guys. The Young Turks made a video about this and exposed it and showed there's new videos that have been released that were like from the actual cars of the guys in Blackwater that were driving around smashing into people's cars. One of them they

hit a lady while she was walking across the street. And you see the guy, see the lady go down, go, oh shit, and then they just drive on just left her there and they're smashed into people's cars they're sticking their guns out the window and just randomly shooting at things it's really it's really fucking crazy it's really crazy to watch man it's really crazy and that's not that's that's just there's there's no getting around that you can't you know what you were talking about like making the the the catholic religion or any kind of crazy cult that wants to have some sort of a justification for doing something really fucking wrong, we'll read you some huge, huge volume and tome on why it is that what they're doing is the correct move for

everybody else in the long run. When you show a video like that, it's the correct move using mercenaries, man. You see how crazy this is? You got people that are willing to kill people for money, and you're paying them a fuckload of it, and you're letting them just run amok. No, man. I mean, this is a problem that will always exist as long as power structures are triangular instead of circular. And there's no way around that, man. There's always just going to be that. There's no way around that man there's always just going to be that there's

no way around that and the problem is when power structures are triangular they don't usually the people at the top of that fucking triangle the pyramid they don't they won't listen to logic they don't care about what's right or what's wrong they're not gonna listen to you you have to take the power from them that's what the idea of the fucking well they have to die off too that's the other possibility let's hope yeah let's hope to die off, too. That's the other possibility. Well, let's hope. Let's hope they die off, because it's been a few thousand years, and they don't seem to be going anywhere. It's just they take different forms.

They put on different masks, and admittedly, the violence is lessening, and lessening, so maybe the violence will dissipate to nothing. I just, I had no idea, man. I've been reading this fucking book about what the goddamn Catholics did to the fucking Cathars, is what they were called. Wikipedia that.

Cathars just got exterminated by the Catholic Church. Just burn at the fucking stake, man. For believing a different version of Christianity. It could have been a threat. Well, this is a long time ago, obviously. It's just amazing that in 2012, after all the time and all the supposed shit that we had learned from the dark ages and today even still you got this video released this blackwater video of people just going to a foreign land and just fucking people up you know it's

that is the at the very the very peak of our society when it comes to like causing change and damage and that is like the the highest most impactful part of our world is war right most as far as like destruction and as far as like that's like society at its breaking point or its boiling point and it seems to stay at that same level it seems to stay at that same level where we're always just that close to fucking everything up. We're always that close. And like as good as it ever got was like when Clinton was in office. It didn't really seem like we were going to war anymore. It seemed like the Soviet Union kind of falling apart.

And we're the only big dog in town. We're pretty cool. We're not going to fuck with anybody. So it's just, you know, it felt like everything was going to be okay. But then it went right back up to its boiling point. And you realize that boiling point where we had the Clinton boiling point, that was unusual. That was unusual. The lack of threat of imminent death.

That's the unusual thing. This normal thing that we've gone through with the Bush administration and that we go through with the Obama administration now, that's unusual. That is rather the norm. The unusual thing is peace. The unusual thing is prosperity and relaxation and not worrying about fucking bombs dropping over your head from the other side of the world. Well, yeah, it's definitely normal when the people who are making the laws have apparently been paid off by people who prosper from war. It's totally normal then. But it's amazing that it's still pushed through.

It's amazing. It's amazing that in this day and age, it can be so obvious. It can be so laid out and yet still get pushed through. Here's what's fucking amazing. What's amazing is there's somebody in a corporation that has to have war happening or they're going to go bankrupt. That's what's amazing. There's people who are like, man, we've got to get some wars, dude. that has to have war happening or they're gonna go bankrupt our division is strictly missile reconstruction and we're not blowing up missiles and we're not reconstructing areas where missiles destroyed yeah that's it yeah exactly

they're not when they when they hear that peace might be coming, that's hearing that they're about to go bankrupt. Do you think this calls like, hey, I heard that y'all are running a surplus on a certain missile that we're about to go into construction on and we don't want to come out with version 2 while y'all still got version 1 going on. Do you think you can make some campaigns

where you can put those bad boys to use? Yeah, let's come on. I shouldn't be afraid to use those things. Do you think that a fucking Robert Downey Jr. contractor character could call somebody up and ask him to launch some missiles? Dude, do you think when those sons of bitches who manufacture that shit watch war footage on

the news, they're like, oh hell yeah, that's a B-96! That's my boy. That's the child shredder. Hell yeah. Look at a b-9 that's my boy that's much that's the child shredder hell yeah look at that thing look at the spread on that bomb hell yeah every time they see that they're like cha-ching cha-ching every time a bomb goes off they're like yeah that's a hundred grand hundred grand hundred grand yeah what about dudes that have like never been to war but they're like obsessed with like soldier fortune magazine and home protection and fucking you know packing heat everywhere they go yeah they live in the wild west in the back of

their head dude i gotta tell you man i think i got the potential to be like that with this man because like i yeah because i like that's an equalizer that's why people like it if you if you feel like you've been put in a situation where you could have been in danger physically because some asshole wanted to fuck you up, and they could have done that to you, that's a terrible, terrible feeling. So once you've experienced that terrible feeling, you want to have some sort of an equal. Preparation. Nothing wrong with it, man.

I really, I mean, and it seems so weird because I know I come off as this kind of like hippie dude, but I was raised in the South, man, and my taught me to how to be safe with a gun taught me how fun it was to shoot a gun taught me like you know took me hunting and i'm not afraid of guns i think they're fucking awesome man they're really cool i just don't i i haven't gotten around to buying one um in la and now it feels like there's this you know we were talking about this around diaz and he was saying, it'll attract guns. Yeah, that's what Diaz thinks. A lot of people think that.

They think that if you have the weapon, it will act as some kind of magnet for negativity that will, like, bring it to you. It's a superstitious idea. But some part of me, I'm like, oh, shit, maybe so, man. I don't know. Maybe I should just ignore it and not have a gun. I mean, I doubt anyone's. Well, you never know, man. You't know. Maybe I should just ignore it and not have a gun. I mean, I doubt anyone's... Well, you never know, man. You never know.

Somebody could just decide to fucking kick in your door and take your shit and fucking stab you to death. People do get robbed. There are home invasions. People do stoke people out. It doesn't happen that often. What's really going on, man, is that there's so many fucking people on this planet.

You're hearing about so many different violent acts. Even in bad neighborhoods, violent acts are fairly rare. You know? I mean, there might be a million people and one of them gets shot a day. It sucks. It's one in a million. That's it. It's not a lot.

I mean, it's not a little, you know, when you think about it that way. It sucks that this is the society we live in, man. This is where we've hit upon in the multiverse. Because, like, think of all the other things that people could break into your house and do. Like, what a great dimension where, like, fucking hot chicks sometimes swarm neighborhoods and just give random blowjobs.

Well, what if you don't want a random blowjob from a hot chick? What if you're trying to, like, control your sperm and you're on this Dalai Lama-type journey and some hot chick breaks into his house and sucks his dick and ruins his whole spiritual journey. Yeah, what if you turn into a zombie? Like, anyone's not going to want to blow a job from a hot chick. He's going to realize that he wasted his whole stupid life

dressing up like a genie when he could have been just getting his dick sucked from the get-go. I know! That's a good lesson! Yeah, it is a good lesson, but you can't force someone to have a lesson. Well, you can't rape the Dalai Lama. Well, that's what she would be doing. She would be raping the poor guy. He couldn't help himself. She's not suggesting lesson well you can't rape the dalai lama that's what she would be doing she'd be raping the poor guy he couldn't help himself suggesting that hot

chicks don't rape the dalai lama when a woman that hot starts stroking your cock you're you are not even in control you're not even in control you're a zombie you are a dna zombie you're just trying to shoot dna brains you're just trying to shoot loads. You're just trying to get rid of that ache in your balls. Poor Dalai Lama. The whole guy means he's a single sort of pudgy, weird kind of Asian character who has a lot of really famous

friends. You know, he's kind of a name dropper, always hanging out with Richard Gere. I'm not dissing him at all. I'm just being honest about what he looks like. That would rock his fucking world if some Megan Fox looking chick came in and start sucking his cock What'd be awesome is that the Dalai Lama fired back at you. Well, you got mad at me I don't mean any disrespect to the Dalai Lama

He's like yo fuck you Joe Rogan Oh, that would be crazy if I was the first guy the Dalai Lama told to go fuck himself Like wow, I must be a dick. I'm sure he's a great guy and i don't think there's anything wrong with doing life the way he's doing i just think it's when i when i look at his life in comparison to a life that i would find interesting i'm like come on man you don't know you don't want to have a wife or a girlfriend you don't want to have sex you don't want to like really you don't want to engage in fun things? Really? It's too much of an effort to have a relationship?

Or can it be managed? And you're just a lazy bitch. And you can't figure out how to manage your own life and manage your own relationships in a way that you would attract someone who would also have a harmonious relationship with you. For some people, that's too much work to try to get their own shit together to attract someone. So, I mean, it's like a real complicated formula.

So to say, oh, that's too much work, I think you miss out on a big part of what it is to be a human being. He obviously has compassionate relationships with people where he's friends with them, he communicates with them. But to not be exchanging affection, in my opinion, is just this massive misunderstanding of the joy of life. Right. Because sex with someone you love that you're really attracted to is one of the most intense physical experiences and beautiful experiences a person can ever have.

Yeah. It really is. It's intense. It's a beautiful, intense experience that cannot be recreated in a solo environment. Well this is the thing. These are things that are impossible to answer because I only read about them. I don't know if it's true or not. But I think a lot of people who become hermits and leave society, of all the people who leave society and become a monk go and become a hermit go into the woods and vanish from life yeah of all those people probably the a big percentage

of them are doing it as an escape mechanism right but i bet there's a small percentage of them that that are like have heard of these peaks that you can climb to and consciousness that the certain things will get in the way of getting to those peaks. It's not impossible, but it's kind of like, you know, there's a lot of different paths through the forest. Some of them are more difficult than others, and some of them are, especially when you've got the complication of a wife and children, you can't go through some of the forms of discipline that apparently are required to hit a transcendent

experience that a lot of people, many, many, many, many people have written about. You know what I mean? So I think there is a small group of people who really authentically are just like, I want to fucking go for it. I want to see how far I can go into this. Is there enlightenment? Is there this state of higher awareness that you can get through meditation? I want to do that. And that, you know, the prescription for some of these things is to fucking meditate for years straight. Yeah. You know, and you can't do that with fucking kids.

You can't do that with a, you can't do that with a job. You can't do it with the normal complications of society. So you got to go out into the, out into the fucking cave to do it. It's amazing. When you really stop and think about it, it's like no other, or rather, it's like any other discipline. In order to really take it to the highest level, you have to devote all of your time to it.

That's it. And managing the mind and managing the deep recesses of your consciousness and increasing the brain's ability to focus on certain tasks and things. I mean, they've shown that meditation directly changes the way the brain works. Oh, yeah, it do. You know, it's the, those, what vision is it, what they use when they're doing, like, cross-sections of the brain during any sort of a neural activity. CAT scans? I don't know if it's a CAT scan.

Whatever it is, they run tests on people, and they find out, like, what areas of the brain are affected. Like, they have remarkable minds. You know, people that meditate, like Buddhist monks, it's like they've literally, like, developed a different sort of a brain. Dude, I don't think my brain's changed, but one of my favorite parts of the day, I wake up in the morning and chant. I fucking love it, dude.

And I'll tell you, I'll wake up with my brain squirming with shit thoughts and anxious sometimes. Maybe I had a bad dream or I'm stressed out about something. I'll sit down and fucking meditate. Ten minutes, 15 minutes later, it's not gone. I'm not healed. I'm not cured of the thoughts. But now the thoughts aren't on top. They're underneath my will. You know what I mean? It's not gone. I'm not healed. I'm not cured of the thoughts. But now the thoughts aren't on top.

They're underneath my will. You know what I mean? And that changes everything for the rest of the day. Because now when I'm attacking the different problems and things I have to accomplish, the first thing I'm feeling is this sense of self-control. And underneath it are all the anxieties. Instead of approaching your problems with an anxious mind or a turbulent mind. I think managing the mind and putting the mind to good use is just like managing the body and putting the body to good use.

And I think the mind can become more athletic. The mind can become more synaptic or more responsive rather synaptically. Synaptic, that's cool. Well, no, it's a, yeah, the mind is definitely a force. Sure. I mean, look, when you write, when you write, don't you notice that if you take time off and write again, you start writing and you feel a little clunky at first. It's hard.

It's clunky as fuck. And then after a day or two, you're in the groove. And zooming through. Yeah. And then you get to that. It's like, you have to keep up that sort of shape. Yes. You have to keep up a certain creative shape or a know, a meditative sort of a controlled shape.

This is what people, this is why more people don't meditate and more people. It's fucking boring. It's boring at first. It's boring at first. But after you. Lose your mind. After you lose your mind. After you fucking get past the initial thing, the initial like boredom of it, it turns into something really incredible.

It's the deepest you've ever gotten. Through meditation? Yeah. Man, the deepest I ever got through meditation was I was super stoned. That does not count. Oh. It's the weirdest. My dear man.

is just... My dear man. Most certainly, you can get stoned and meditate. Shit, man. It's one of my favorite things to do is to get stoned and meditate. Fuck, that's the best, man. McKenna had this funny story about, or this funny analogy

about UFO abductees, is that the real problem with any stories that you ever hear about UFOs is that you have to automatically discount every one of them that involve five grams of mushrooms. It's true, too, right? Because, oh, you were tripping, dude. But maybe that's no, but maybe that's how he sees it. Yeah.

No fuck. Or maybe a lot of different philosophies came from people getting really high. That's that book sees it. Yeah. Well, fuck. Or maybe like a lot, a lot of different philosophies came from people getting really high. That's that book that I showed you, you know, that cannabis is, has its, is a very old plant that we've had a relationship with for a long time. And people love to invalidate things that you thought up when you were stoned. They love to invalidate states of consciousness you obtain through merging with a plant mother but i'll tell you man fucking getting hot chanting and and uh getting high wow that's like now if you want if you want me to like come up with a time when i when i wasn't stoned and meditating i could

think of a time when i was on the zen retreat sitting and staring at a wall and for like seven hours straight and like definitely there was a shift in consciousness and i was like getting retarded getting confused that was i take i take offense at that i really do i was getting confused because i've been staring at a wall for so long i was getting confused about my identity so it was sort of a consciousness ideal poisoning or ordeal poisoning. Yeah, it was a bit of a poisoning. You're getting confused about your identity?

Well, I was staring at the wall and I knew I was... I mean, they were talking like eight hours of fucking meditating, man. Just staring at a wall with your eyes open? Yeah, with your eyes open. You're just kind of going in and out of like... You don't ever close your eyes? No, technically you're not supposed to

this is why in the zen temples uh in japan where the people really take it seriously people walk around with fucking rods and the moment a monk starts nodding off they get a nice fucking rod and right on their shoulder you can wow whack wake your ass up wow so like um and that's they don't want. No, they want you there in the moment and you're trying to accomplish Well, they're gonna make a army of super psychics Super side you imagine if that's what it is. That's the only way to become like a real warrior They could become a psychic warrior. Well, this is the fucking crazy thing man I mean with what's a Zen monk trying to accomplish yeah the answer to that nothing uh it's like a but but um sound of one hand club yeah but other people who don't

have such lofty ideals to merge with the nothingness uh these people are trying to accomplish things and i believe the name of these superpowers or magical traits that you get from disciplining the will are called cities, S-I-D-D-H-I-S. Cities of consciousness. Yeah, and these are like the ability, if you start focusing, you know, I would even say that in some weird way, stand-up comedy is a form of city in the sense that you're able to get in front of a group of people and make them fucking laugh. And it takes a long time to develop. It's a discipline that takes a long time to develop. And you get this skill that's kind of abnormal that some people aren't able to do. You know what I mean?

Like it doesn't have to be reading someone's mind. It doesn't have to be levitating or walking through a wall. It's just like, shit, man, when I watch the fucking UFC and see somebody do a flying leg kick into someone's head, that's magic to me. That's a magical fucking thing. That guy, the fact that that guy can do that. It's very acrobatic. It's acrobatic.

Or when they're, these fucking assholes, not, they're not really assholes, but when you see them getting their backflip content, these guys throw a fucking backflip like it's nothing. Yeah, and this is after fighting for three rounds. After getting, yeah. Wailing on each other for three rounds. And if the backflip doesn't land and you fall,

that's going to be played on the internet. Infinitely. So the risk involved in that backflip is super extreme, man. So to me, that's also a, it's not real magic in the sense it's explainable, but it's like, I think that people can develop other forms of this.

And the other forms of it, I don't want to use the term telepathy, but maybe people get really good at reading micro gestures or micro movements in someone's face and recognizing when they're telling the truth or when they're telling a lie. Fuck, man. Just someone who's really focused and sitting and listening to you and looking you in the eye in a really focused way, that's unnerving sometimes when someone's got real focus because most people don't most people are scattered they're scattered to the winds man yeah barely listen to you for four minutes without fading out or checking their

phone or you know what i mean yeah so will itself just the ability to draw your senses in and focus on the moment that's a pretty potent thing to be able to do. And you're not going to get that from playing video games. You're not going to get that from getting drunk all the time. You're not going to get that from fucking all the time. You're going to get that from stopping the show, sitting down, crossing your legs, taking a breath and not moving for 10 minutes

and watch your mind freak the fuck out. Your mind will turn into a cat that you're trying to put in the bathtub. Your mind will just start wriggling, squirming, worming, hey, what are you doing? That's almost the first thing, is thinking, come on, what are you fucking doing here? What are you sitting here not moving for? What is this? Who do you think you are? You think you're fucking Gandhi? What do you think you're doing? Really, you're going to do this? And then that, if you overcome that, then that'll change a little bit. And all of a sudden, you'll start relaxing a little bit. Your body will relax.

And all of a sudden, it's like, oh, shit, man. I didn't put that fucking candle out in the other room. I should go put that candle out in the other room. I think I left the candle burning in the other room. And then you just breathe through that. And then it's going to be, oh, fuck. I got to call Jack. I forgot to call Jack.

It's all these moments trying to take you away. And it's almost like your mind has set all these infinite traps to keep you from getting in this state of stillness. But eventually, the more you do that, the more your mind will begin to be in the moment and not be in a place of expectation and not be waiting for the meditation to end and not be thinking about how cool it is that you're meditating or how dumb it is that you're meditating. Something else kicks in. That thing. That fucking thing, man. That's the thing that I think people are trying to extend through their entire lifetime.

It's just that state of being present in the moment with no goal for what's going to happen, not caring about what happened. You know? It's just a difficult place to get to. Yeah, and you don't always want to be there either. You don't want to be there all day because you have to live with humans. And if you're going to live completely in that total Zen state, I guess you could do it Ram Dass style and just go video conferencing with people all day online.

But if you want to actually try to make a living. No, the Ram Dass style is really interesting because the Ram Dass style doesn't have ethics attached to it, man. That guy fucking talks about going and eating like, going into a fucking ordering a steak really yeah fuck yeah he eats steak he did in this story i don't know if he continues to eat meat but it's like his whole thing is like listen man it's not weren't what we're what what we're going for here isn't fake a fake way fake imposition what we're going here for is what we're going for for is being in the flow of life. Being in the moment. Sometimes that means have a fucking cheeseburger. Sometimes eat that burger.

Sometimes it means fucking get your cock sucked. Sometimes it means fuck you. The way you said that was so southern. Get your cock sucked. Get your cock sucked, boy. I was so North Carolina. Go in my sister's room and get your cock sucked. I love my southern accent.

It does come out sometimes. But, yeah, man. This state of being in the moment doesn't mean... Right, but don't you have some sort of an ethical responsibility for animal cruelty and the pollution of the environment and all the different variables that really, even though you have no control over, you are a part of society and contribute to the problem by continuing support.

This is what I think about that. I call this what you're saying. I consider it the starving kid in Africa. The starving kid in Africa has stopped many, many people from experimenting with bringing their will into the world. Because they think, yeah, what about the fucking starving kid in Africa? What about the macro? What about the eating meat hurts animals and all right um the big the bigger picture where i think that that is a very valid thing to think about but i think the first thing to think about before you start thinking about the bigger picture is your little picture right

it's thinking about how are you treating the people around you? What living condition are you in? Are you healthy? Are you exercising? First deal with that. Deal with that and then worry about the fucking kid in Africa. First deal with that thing and you'll get your focus back. Come out of autopilot first. Because your ego will tell you, look man, we've got to think about the big picture here.

The ego always wants to think about the big fucking picture. The ego always wants to think about, like, the ego is messianic. The ego wants to be Jesus. The ego wants to heal the world. Or the ego wants to fucking do all this crazy shit. Meanwhile, you're fucking smoking cigarettes. Your apartment smells like cat litter. Your balls are fucking festering with crab lice.

You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You've got to fucking think about the fucking moment. You've got to think about the moment. Yeah, we were talking about a dude who was screaming and yelling about chemtrails while he was smoking cigarettes. Yeah! It's like, what you're doing has got to be worse than what they're doing by

spraying you. Absolutely, man. See, this I think is the recipe for a true think is the recipe for a true revolution the recipe for a true evolution does not involve going out into the world and trying to attack these ancient powerful monolithic structures by throwing molotov cocktails at them it fucking involves stopping looking at the way you're treating the people directly around you. How do you treat waiters? How do you treat people at the cash register?

How do you treat people that you have power over? Even if the power is illusionary and it's just a game, because when you're with a waiter, you're playing the game of someone being served. They're playing the game of the server. You're just fucking people. But you start looking, how am I treating the people around? First, you start looking, how am I treating myself? That's the number one thing. Yeah, that is the number one. Look at yourself. Are you being pathetic to yourself? Are you being sweet to yourself? Are

you taking vitamins? Are you being cruel to yourself? Are you poisoning yourself? Are you shoving poison into your body's first body's body? First deal with that. Then once you start feeling good and healthy again, the depression will start wearing off. And then you start looking at the way you're treating people around you. Then you start tipping too much. This, once you start feeling good and healthy again, the depression will start wearing off, and then you start looking at the way you're treating people around you. Then you start tipping too much. This is something you taught me, man. I don't want to go all fucking secret on everybody's ass here, but ever since I started tipping too much, fucking more money than I've ever made has been coming into my life, dude, and I feel like there's some kind of direct correlation between how much you put

out and how much comes back to you. I mean, it's possible. It's also possible that it just came in a coincidental time to when you started making money and could tip because you had some momentum running your way. I'll tell you one. Number one quality. I'll tell you one quality that I always

have when I'm broke. You know what that fucking quality is? Selfishness. I always will look one quality that I always have when I'm broke. You know what that fucking quality is? Selfishness. I always will look at the way I'm acting. It's always very fucking selfish. It's always survival mode. I got to look out for me. You know what I mean?

There's a fucking verse in the... I always quote the fucking Bible. I am not a Christian. But there's a verse in the New Testament that always perplexed me. It was something like, Those who have will get more., those who have will get more, and those who have not, more will be taken away. And the idea is like this sense of like,

it doesn't make sense. It doesn't go with the way we've been taught. It doesn't make sense that if you give out more than you have, you'll get more back. Well, I don't know if it's more than you have. I think you just have to be generous. Give more than you have. More than you have. How can you give more than you have? You's more than you have. I think you just have to be generous. Give more than you have. More than you have.

How can you give more than you have? You only have what you have. Go to DuncanTrussell.com and click on me. My children, if you give me... It's like saying I'm going to try 100%, 10%. You can't. I know, I know. You're right.

I'm going to give 100%, 10%. No, you're not. You know what it is, man? It's like the church had this idea. And the idea was tithing, right? And the idea was give 10% of your income to the church, right? Because the church will deal with giving the money out. Now, I think that this is based on a metaphysical principle.

I think it's based on a metaphysical principle, which is that if you give out. Like imagine, I think we may have talked about this before but imagine if you cut out 10% of your income and and just put it in a pile and made the decision that that 10% you're gonna just fucking give to people who need it you're just gonna give it to help people you're gonna use it to like help people that's 10% of your income is going out into the world to help people that would be the your favorite money. That fucking 10%. Like on a Saturday, if you get to go into that account, you'd be like, fuck, man, I'm going to buy my friend an Xbox.

Just because. Because that's coming out of the 10%. That's a cool thing. That's a good idea, man. Everybody thinks it's like, oh, I'm going to go give a ham sandwich to a heroin addict. No. Go fucking surprise your friend.

Take him out to dinner. And then fucking buy dinner when they didn't expect it. Take one of your friends out who doesn't have a lot of money right now and like do something really cool for them when they don't expect it and don't act like they owe you. Just like, no dude, I just thought it would be fun. That's fun. That's tithing if you ask me. Instead of letting the

church be in control of it. Well, the problem the church is always going to be like, who are they? It's just people, man. They're not really representing God. So if you've got a good church, it can work out well. There's a lot of churches that do a lot of great stuff

for the community. There's a lot of churches that keep people together. There's a lot of people out there, dude, they haven't thought too much about the world. They haven't thought too much about the complexities

of the various different things that we do understand about the world. Subatomic particles interacting with each other across the universe at the exact same time communication through subatomic particles particles that are in both a superposition when they're in a state of both standing and moving at the same time there's just too much craziness going on in the world and there's not enough curiosity and that combination of that and their culture and whatever the fuck their genetic imprint was whatever you know whatever nine volt battery that they were born with yeah all that combined some

people need religion man some people it's like a super beneficial tool i don't i don't deny it look essentially what christianity is supposed to be is supposed to be somewhat about being positive, about representing God, living life by God's standards. Well, if you look at what God's standards are, sort of vaguely, and take out the stories about killing people that he tells you to kill,

and what happens if you're a gay dude. Jesus doesn't say any of that. Jesus doesn't say any of that, but it's in the Bible. If the Bible's supposed to represent the word of God if it is really well this is the shit talk

that the fucking Loonland disciples say right you can't just follow what Christ said you gotta follow everything in that old

sweet old book ultimately when it comes down to a church though it really depends on who's running the church like the church could be a great asset

to a community and a good place where people learn to be good people or it could be fucking craziness if you wind up in a church where you know the priests are fucking kids and the whole thing's chaos and i'll tell you you know where i got a lot of info from man i got a big download from when i used to go to agape Church with Reverend Michael Beckwith. I would fucking go there, and that guy would blast positivity. You would go there and get, you would walk out of there feeling so fucking great, man. What is his denomination? He, I don't know the name of the denomination, but, like, he, they're into this book called The Science of Mind by Ernest Holmes,

which is, like, this idea that you create your own reality by the thoughts that you think. And it's a, it's just a, it's that mixed in with all the world religions mixed in with like, kind of like, I mean, listen, man, it's a big church and I'm not saying every moment of the ceremony wasn't slightly embarrassing. And I'm not saying that they're not people that are dressed in like baggy, big baggy pants and wearing sandals and have really gone deep into fruit land. I'm not saying that that didn't happen,

but that church, man, some of the information I got out of there, it was fucking really high-tech information. I'll tell you something else that happened to me there, and I'm sure I'm going to get fucking made fun of for this, but I'll tell you, man, I had a fucking terrible I'd throw my back out

throw my fucking back out and couldn't move my fucking neck and I was like fucked up and in a lot of pain and I'm standing there oh my god there was a song you sing

that we're singing this song and this fucking guy behind me started giving you a back rub and grabbing your shaft I knew it would come let me at least let me finish the story let me grabbing your shaft before you attack this guy I think it's funny if this guy touches my back. And, dude, instantly I felt fucking better. Instantly.

Everything went away. My back felt better. Everything was fine. Ladies and gentlemen, remember what I said yesterday about disinformation agents? Duncan clearly just exposed himself as a government agent. An agent of disinfo. Shut up. He says all this brilliant shit, and then he incorporates some back human magic touches.

Listen, man. This motherfucker is doing Christian healing. Listen, I can only report from my own experience. What about praying the gay away? Have you ever seen anybody successfully pray the gay away? No. Have you ever seen someone try? No.

No. Okay. I haven't seen anyone fucking pray the gay away show. But it's not the same thing. It's not the same thing as a guy coming up and touching you and healing your back? He was standing, come up. He was standing there. He was standing there.

He was standing there. He was with some magical touch. He healed your back. Why? Why would I bring this up in front of you? Why you silly bitch? Why did you? Why did you give me this?

Because I thought it'd be fun. I can't, I can't, can't leave this alone. This is ridiculous. So some guy came up and his desire to stick his penis inside your ass Because I thought it'd be fun. I can't leave this alone. This is ridiculous. So some guy came up, and his desire to stick his penis inside your asshole was so strong that as he touched your back, the jolt just realigned your back, because your back knew that it had to fight to survive. Okay, why is that?

Because Daryl... You felt the love and lust of this man's fingertips? Because Daryl healed me. Daryl. Daryl have flannel underwear on. He wasn't wearing underwear that day. Whoa. Look, I believe...

Just raw cock and zipper. I'm dangerous. Raw cock pressed up against the cold metal of the zipper. I can't believe that you're turning healers into always being gay. Ooh, let me just touch his back. The gay came out of his hand like a lightning bolt. He was like

one of the Avengers. The gay came out of his hand into your back and just popped your back into order. Listen, this is exactly what Jesus said. It's like a baby. I'm being persecuted. You know what? This is religious persecution. Yes, it is. Absolutely.

That guy prayed. He got out of it. He couldn't help himself. You were sexy. You were slightly slumped. Leaning to one side. Looked like he had a hurt knee maybe. I'm trying to remember. Perhaps even limping.

I'm trying to remember the song that we sang there just so I could give you more. You've got to pray the gay way. Pray the gay way. Pray the gay way. No way. I'll sing it. I'll sing it, dude, just so I could give you more. You've got to pray the gateway, pray the gateway, pray the gateway. No, wait, I'll sing it, I'll sing it, dude. I'm going to give you more, more fucking ammo. Okay. I release and I let go, let God's power, something my life. I can't remember. And they would just sing this over and over again and everybody was really getting into it.

Yeah, and people would like go up and down the aisles with Kleenex because people would start crying and like, it was like, but you know,

the, I've learned to not throw the baby out with the bath water and so like, a lot of the stuff, yeah, I don't know if I necessarily

was like, you know, fully on board but I got some good information from there, man. There was like some really, the shit that he talked about was this concept of being able to like, you decide when it's time to be happy. You decide to not be a victim. You decide to pull yourself out of the negative mire that you're in and you can just do it.

You don't have to come up with excuses. You don't have to go to the fucking mountains and meditate forever you don't have to you can just stop being a victim right right and the moment you do that your life will become a million times better and everything else will follow from there you know you'll start treating people around you better and when you start treating people around you better you're going to get more prosperity because if you're treating people around you like, you're going to get more prosperity. Because if you're treating people around you like shit, you're cutting off all these currents and circuits. Well, any interaction you have with someone that ends up in a negative, a negative on their side or a negative on your side, it's going to leave you with a

little bit of a deficit. For sure. It's not a good feeling. It's not a good feeling when someone's upset at you. No, it sucks. It sucks. It fucking sucks. And you don't realize how much of an impact your words or your actions can really have until you see them upset someone. And then you realize, then it all manifests itself to you. It all shows, and you're like, God damn it, what the fuck was I thinking? I just got so flippant with being rude or being aggressive or being adamant or argumentative or whatever it is that causes these blips in the matrix. But sometimes you need to have those in your life just as a reminder.

To be careful. I'm not even saying that you should have to have them, but look, I've seen them in other people and I learn. Well, it's shit ping pong, man. You can get caught up in a long game of shit ping pong with people. And it's like, look, there's no way that you're going to be perfect. And there's no way you're going to avoid conflict. And there's no way you're going to avoid getting angry. But the main thing is, man, here's the main thing.

Forgiveness. And forgiveness, it fucking isn't always fair. That's the thing about forgiveness, dude. It's not always fair. It's not always about who wins or who loses or who's right or who's wrong. Sometimes you just have to be like, look, man, we got fucking blasted out of a pussy. We're plunging towards oblivion. We're in this insane fucking dimension.

You freaked out for a second. I freaked out. I forgive you. You win. You know what I mean? Like, you just take that extra fucking step. And you know what that does? That stops the fucking...

When you see, like, that stops the negative energy ball. That's the idea. Right. Are you talking about anyone in specific? Yeah. Yeah, man. You know, I already... Yeah, you already did.

For people that don't know, Brian and Duncan had gotten into an argument. And, you know, it was unfortunate. It was unfortunate on both sides. It was unfortunate on both sides. It was unfortunate that Duncan brought it up in a public setting and sort of blindsided him. And I think you feel that, right? I said it on that last podcast that I did.

Here's the real thing I learned from it, though, man. This is the thing. You're not going to avoid conflict in a community. That's one thing I learned is we have this little fucking community. Right, but if you had a chance to do it all again, you wouldn't have done it that way. Absolutely not. Yeah, I'm going to be honest with you,

you were a little snippy that day anyway, man. You even got snippy with me when I was fucking with you. And I was not being that aggressive, but you seemed like you were a bit testy that day. Yeah, man, I was testy that day. And what happened was, without going into, I hate fucking resurrecting it again because I think that it's like, um, what made you testy that day?

I don't want to talk about that, man. Okay. That's a personal issue. It's a fucking personal issue. You certainly have a family issue. You were a bit imbalanced. But anyway, there's no excuse. I don't fuck. Why was I testy? I was testy because I was not in control of my fucking self. That's why anyone's testy. There's no excuse. People always come up with excuses for acting like a fucking asshole. Right. It all boils down to like you...

Handling your own shit. Yeah. Not imposing your own bullshit on other people. Exactly, dude. But so what happened is during a podcast in Atlanta with Marshall Charles and the Laughing Skull, I was starting to talk about those videos I made for South by Southwest because I was trying to lead into talking about the Moon Tower Comedy Festival. Right.

And for people who don't know, Duncan has been pretty adamant about the, in my opinion, the very correct idea that if you're going to have a festival where you profit off of it and you have comedians perform at your festival, at the very least you have to fly them there. I mean, if you want them to work for free, you can't really expect them to fly themselves there. And then when you find out the whole thing is sponsored by an airline,

you're like, what? Right. Because they're going to profit by the fact that people have to fly in like the whole thing is crazy So you wrote this you made this video where it was Hitler and then over Hitler screaming you had the Translation the Hitler meme. Yes, the translation was saying, you know how preposterous it is, right? It was just a basic idea, which is that if you charge for, if you have an event centered around comedians, artists, whatever,

that couldn't function without the comedians or artists, you have to fairly compensate them. You have to pay them, pay them a percentage of the door. It doesn't have to be a lot. Give them a little cut, whether it's a flight, hotel, I don't know, whatever the fuck it is.

Just like make it fair. So I was starting to talk about that. And then Brian got on the microphone and started talking about how no, no, no, they pay the performers. Whereas like I have, you know, I said it was up to the venues. Well, no, no. He, what he was talking about was as a comedian, you can get sponsorship from other people like brown paper paper tickets or other corporations will pay for you to perform at their parties or will in some way fund you. But the festival itself doesn't pay. So some venues don't pay the artists.

Some venues don't decide because they're at a certain place. They get paid. Because I've heard that some people have gotten paid by Southwest. Who's getting paid? I have. Actually, the guy, Charlie Sotelo, who runs South by Southwest, when I was at Moon Tower, we had the same fucking conversation. Right. And, you know, like, he was saying, you know, we don't fucking pay Johnny. We didn't pay Johnny Cash.

Whoa. You know what I mean? Like, we don't pay. Yeah, I know. What? You know, like. That's gangster. He was saying, yeah. Johnny Cash to work for you for free. So that's the point. I already had this conversation with this guy about this. So I, at least from the

perspective of the representative of South by Southwest and the comedy side, it told me directly this happened. And then also as an, as an, as an other note, he said, you know, yeah, we do give comics a hundred bucks, but we don't even talk about it. So, they pay comics a hundred bucks. That's what I found out. They don't talk about it. Yeah, that's what he said. He said, this is not something I bring up. Charlie Sotelo...

That's a big secret. By the way, Charlie... Something's wrong when there's a big secret when you're giving a comic a hundred bucks. Yeah, whatever. So... Something's wrong when there's a big secret where you're giving a comic 100 bucks. Yeah, whatever. It's so... So, and Charlie Sotelo seemed like a really nice guy and I kind of respect him for coming up to me and talking to me about it. I still completely disagree with him.

But he came up and he talked to me... Because he had heard your video? Yeah, he's the one who does the comics for South by Southwest. So, like, it was really... He wasn't angry. He just came up to me and broke it down in his own way, from his own paradigm about how it fucking works.

And what was his justification for not paying? You get a lot out of the festival as a performer. There's two paradigms. The two paradigms are people who pay based on a percentage from the door or some other form of money compensation and people who feel like they're offering a venue and they're offering the benefits that you get from performing on a show whether it's working out or it's kind of amazing the idea that you know you could have a festival of art and a profitable festival of art and say that the festival is more important than the art that's

represented there so the festival should profit, but the artists are getting the luxury of performing at this pimp-ass gangster festival. It's really amazing. I like to play my own devil's advocate. South by Southwest is an expensive festival, and a lot of people like seeing bands, and some comics like seeing bands, and we're going to go to South by Southwest anyway.

So now they don't have to pay the 700 bucks that you would pay to see everything. So there's the justification of that perspective. Have you been? I've never been. But regardless, I feel good. When is it? I don't know.

You know what we should do? We should just book the Cap City Comedy Club that week if we can, if it's not already booked. It's probably, I bet it's already booked. I bet it's like something like Doug Benson or someone tries to get like a year in advance. That would be really fun. Yeah, because doesn't Doug do all that shit?

He goes to all those places. I don't know. Yeah, he's always, he's a wild bachelor character. He's out there slinging dick around the country. That's what I hear. Doing shows on 420 in the afternoon on Saturdays. He's doing what he wants now, man. It's really fascinating how he's got, you know, Doug's got this, you know, this thing

where he can show up at like a regular club, like it has a full weekend, and he comes on at 420 in the afternoon. And he does these 420 shows where it's all his fans. What about Side Boob Sunday? How'd that guy manufacture that? Where he gets chicks to send pictures of their side tits? Who's this? Who are you talking about?

Doug Benson does that? Hell yeah. He does? I follow him on Twitter. It's the best. Side Boob Sunday? Look it up. I didn't see that.

People tweet like beautiful hippie chicks tweet their profile. Really? It's great. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. It's really funny how you look on Twitter and some porn girls have like pick of the day and you click on it.

It's them with a giant dick in their mouth and one in their ass. And you're like, whoa. Yeah. Really? Just pick of the day? That's it? No fucking warning at all?

Like you got to go, okay, well now I know how she's rocking it. Because some girls don't ever have that in their Twitter. Some strippers might as well be accountants. They might as well be working for Denny's. They just have like, here's today, this is what I did. But some of those porn girls, they'll just throw up some wild pictures. You've got to be NSFW.

You've got to be careful there, doctor. NSFW. I love it when people get mad for posting that shit. Not safe for work. I'm going to put NSFW. Gotta be careful there, Doug. NSFW. I love it when people get mad for posting that shit. Not safe for work. I'm gonna put NSFW, man. Well, that work thing. That's what we were talking about earlier. Are we done with the Brian thing?

Well, I mean, sort of. I mean, we didn't even really go into it. What happened was, you in this elevated snippy state, I'll just cut to the chase. You called Brian out for something that you believed that he was doing incorrectly with how he was putting on a comedy show and

he defended himself and got very upset at you and couldn't believe that you said it on the air and he was really hurt and stormed out of the room and then you know we Sort of sat around and talked about the importance of comedians getting paid and whether or not that was the right thing to do And what what the real issue is and you know it's uh there's there's a side to be had on both men's point of view brian's and yours you know there's a side to be had on brian's about the way you presented it that you did it like you were in this elevated state and you were responding to him questioning you in the south by southwest thing and you attacked some people don't know this.

Just to make sure people know, I told Marshall not to upload that audio right away. Yeah, I know. Like, I have that. You're not trying to make it more than it already is. Right, I didn't want it to be more than that. Okay. And Brian is very upset about it, and his side of it is that he did pay some people. And there's a lot of expenses.

And he had to pay for taxes. And he's paying for the rent to keep that place open. And to be honest, he probably bit off more than he could chew. And he didn't realize how much was involved in not just putting on a podcast where you're just being the producer of the podcast. But also running a comedy show at the same time calling people booking it having the comedians show up putting together a flyer trying to get people to come tweeting it making a big deal over this it's more involved it's not a like those guys that like do comedy juice or something like that there's a lot of work involved in that there's mailing lists and there's you know i get their mailing lists all

the time and they're constantly uh emailing me all the time asking me to come and perform. It's a business for these guys. They're trying to. There's a lot of work behind it. I think it got away from him. And he's corrected it. And he's corrected it now. And because of this confrontation, the good that's come out of it is that the money situation has been taken completely out of his hands.

So he doesn't have to worry about it anymore. Right, which is cool. Yeah, which is cool. And the shows can still pay for the rent there. Yeah, here's what's not cool. And this is the thing it taught me. Because I've been seeing this in the positive thankfully in my life, mostly.

But what happened was even though it didn't get uploaded at the time, it could have. Marshall could have been like, fuck that, I'm not deleting that, that's good, that'll get traffic. That's good. He could have been an asshole. I. I'm not deleting that. That's good. That'll get traffic. That's good. He could have been an asshole. I didn't know.

I was totally wrong. Shouldn't have brought it up in a public way. I shouldn't have brought it up in a public way. I was totally fucking wrong. Even if I felt like Brian confronting me about South by Southwest was wrong, what I did was, so if Brian was throwing a negative energy ball my way, I grabbed that negative energy ball. And tried to stuff it down his throat. And I expanded it and tried to stuff it down his throat out of anger.

I didn't feel good. I was angry, right? Right. And so then Brian got mad. And then the energy ball, he exponentially increased the energy ball by having a blowout and saying, Fuck, Doug, and Trussell over and over. He doesn't do well when criticized anyway. But when criticized like that in a very confrontational manner on a podcast,

it's very upsetting for him. Right. But, you know, he didn't react. There was bad reactions on both sides. Neither one of you guys reacted admirably. You know, if you wanted to look back at yourself and how that whole thing went down, you know, where you're going back and forth with each other, where you, you know.

I didn't go. That's the thing, man. I know, we're going back and forth with each other. Where you, you know. I didn't go. That's the thing, man. I went back. I went back at him once. And then I apologized on my podcast. And I guess I'm apologizing. Yeah, but the initial words that you used were very confrontational. In Atlanta.

Yes. Yes. But then. How you launched it off was very. You used the words ripping off comedians. No, I didn't say ripping off. I said robbing. I said robbing. Even worse. You used the words ripping off comedians. No, I didn't say ripping off. I said robbing. I said robbing, even worse.

I said he's robbing comedians. And that's the fucking wrong word for not paying people. When you go back and you listen to it, what do you get out of it? Have you listened to it? No, I don't even want to fucking listen to it. Because it's anger, man. It's just anger. I can only own my side of the street.

My side of the street, when I attacked him, I was pissed. You were pissed because you felt that he was incorrectly correcting you and that he was putting his two cents into an argument that you have that's a very big one. It's not just about South by Southwest, but it's about a lot of other organizations that don't pay the performance. Exactly, and I think that the tides are shifting now, and I think that that paradigm where you charge money for a show and don't pay the comics is going to hopefully be gone permanently. Because what I really liked about the South by Southwest video is that I think it encouraged some comedians to start speaking up. And I think artists are very afraid of confrontation, and they're afraid of speaking up about things that are obviously right.

Yeah. There's a time to speak up and there's a time to not speak up. And I think with Brian, when I said you're robbing comics, that wasn't coming out of some altruistic, you know know state of wanting to like be Gandhi and help fucking comics that was coming is like oh you slapped me I'm gonna slap you back exactly and so that's wrong that's wrong action that's not skillful that's bad and so I went on my podcast and I and I apologize and I admitted that that was wrong and also I think the term robbing is totally wrong because robbing implies that the person that you're,

it implies forcefully taking something from someone. Whereas if someone goes and does a show at the Ice House and Brian has said he's not paying or didn't mention payment, then you're entering into an agreement where you're going to perform for free. So it's more of the performer's deal. Like it's you decided to go and do that. So robbing is the wrong free. So it's more of the performer's deal. Like it's you decided to go and do that. So robbing's the wrong word.

So there's that. But watching it explode, you know what I mean? Watching the fireball grow bigger and bigger, it's been a huge lesson for me, you know? And it really has taught me like, fuck man, you've got to learn to, if you're angry and especially your anger is at a friend and even though like i think brian hates my guts permanently now he was we've been friends for like i don't know seven years to bring up shit that he did

like eight years ago when he stabbed me with a pencil. I stabbed him with a fucking pencil. You did stab him with a pencil. I'm sorry for that. That's pretty fucking crazy. You know what? I'm sorry that I did that. But I'll tell you this. Let me tell you this. I'm a lot less sorry that I stabbed him with a pencil than I am that in a fucking public forum I called him out on something that I should have addressed privately. Because when I stabbed him with a fucking pencil, he kept poking my back on an airplane

when I'm trying to sleep, man. And I had to fucking fight back. I don't feel bad about that. I was retarded. Babyish, stupid. But that was just an instant reaction to being annoyed. What happened at the Laughing Skull was using a public forum to address a private issue. And I think that that is not fucking cool.

And the end result of that, even though that podcast didn't get uploaded, is that we've created a fucking Kardashian episode with the Death Squad. And that sucks, man. There's a lot of fucking people who've been... Taking both sides of it. Taking sides and attacking me or attacking Brian.

Or like all this stuff that ultimately so now what what what happens this is the fucking thing that happens you watch this thing that started off as a mid-size negative energy ball turn into a big negative energy ball and then get fucking scattered and spread throughout the fucking internet with people siding up and trying to say hurtful things or saying this person's right, that person's wrong. This is good, that's bad. This is why I say simplicity is the most important thing, man. Because it's like ultimately you just have to say, I forgive you.

Simplicity is the most important thing? Simplicity, man. Just forgiveness. Just at some point. Simplicity is forgiveness? No. Forgiving is a simple act act it doesn't have to be complicated it doesn't have to be going into judge judy mode and stretching out the events to

see who was right who was wrong and how did you do that and why did you do that it's just a simple thing of being like look let's stop playing shit ping pong with negative energy yeah but it's back what we're talking about earlier about like money being needed to keep score. Even in fights with friends, someone has to be the one who was right. Someone has to be the one who was wrong. Someone has to be the one who won the argument. Someone has to lose. It's like when people break up and get divorced and you're like, oh, she won that one. It sucks.

She got out of that one pretty good. She gets this and that a month. And that poor fucking guy, he really lost that one. It sucks. Yeah, it's funny. It's weird.'s weird it's weird man and it's all ego-based what's all about our whole society is about achievement forward progress you know treading into new territories and taking them over i mean it's whether whether those yeah whether it's those actual physical territories like new lands or whether it's technological territories like new inventions and innovations. We're always moving forward.

So you have to like, okay, you're out of the relationship. How'd you do? I did great. I only married that asshole for three years and he has to give me a million dollars. Look, man. So I think I don't have anything else to say about that. I think I'm done talking about that. But I do want to say something.

Well, in his defense, what he's upset about more than the fact that you brought it up on the podcast and did it like that and threw him under the bus, that even in your apology you still said that he wasn't paying the comedians. And he did pay some of the comedians. Right. You know, and apparently, you know, I wasn't really, I told him it would be a good idea to pay the comedians, but we never really had too many conversations about who got paid and who didn't.

It was up to his discretion. Right, okay, so. So Little Lester, Tom Segura, some people got Bert Kreischer, some people got paid. And some didn't. And some didn't. You know, but there was different shows where there wasn't that many seats that were sold.

You know, he did his own shows. There were shows that weren't that successful. Okay, right. Okay, so what this turns into at this point is like real fucking like, to me it's like, I guess, so like if the apology is not correct, then basically what we've created now is a situation where it's like, you didn't submit to me properly. You know what I mean? I don't, like, okay, I know you played fucking Cat Stevens' Peace Train and said that you were my friend.

You know what I mean? Like, I know that you did that, but you didn't do it in exactly the right way. And then if that happens, then it's like, okay, then what, you didn't do this, and I didn't do it, and now all of a sudden shit ping pong's happening again. Shit ping pong. You know what I mean? And it's like, okay, then what you didn't do this and I didn't do now all of a sudden shit ping pong is happening again. Shit ping pong. You know what I mean? And it's like, fuck man. Like, isn't like the, isn't like the, the, the best thing to do to like number one, uh, address this situation. And I'm addressing it publicly now because it was brought into the public forum. It isn't the best thing to do to address it privately. Isn't that the number one, like best, best way to handle it

um and number two well it wasn't his fault that was made public it was really my fault i was explaining to ari why you guys were in an argument and you know in the middle of a podcast you're just talking i didn't really stop and think whether or not this is a smart thing to to re-expose right and but but But you must be upset about how it happened. And I know how I feel after every sort of yelling argument that I've ever been in in my life. Well, it was like, no, it was really intense to, like, see someone saying,

fuck Duncan Trussell in front of half, possibly half a million people. That felt really weird, because I, you know, like, it's tough for me to imagine a situation where I would be angry enough to, like, try to publicly disparage somebody in that intense a way. You know what I mean? I just, I wouldn't, I don't think I'd do that. Unless I was really fucking pissed, so.

Yeah, peace train! We're going to make it all work out, bro. Well, that's my, that's what I think. Bro, it's I'm gonna come together he's trying but I'm your silly bitch this peace train as all became a Muslim I he fucking blue no Muslims are okay.

Oh, yeah, but he was calling for Salman Rushdie to be killed. Okay, so he got off a peace train. He's crazy. He got off a peace train. He was talking about how the Quran says that Salman Rushdie's got to go. Got to go, got to go. Didn't he recently make a little comeback? Ran out of cash. Had a little bit of a comeback.

I saw him playing. He's Yusuf Islam now. The attack on... It's very sad. Yeah. That is a sweet song, man. He's got a lot of great songs. He's got some beautiful songs, man.

He's obviously an incredibly sensitive guy. But back to the whole situation. I think you have to treat your friends the way you treat someone that you love like a wife. You know, you can't insult them. You can't lash out at them. You can't do it. It's a shitty thing when it happens,

and you've got to make it all better after it's over. And you've got to really truly feel bad about it, and you've got to really truly sort of correct yourself and make sure that you never put yourself into such a situation of almost like verbal combat with a brother you know yes um brian for sure has some maturing to do and you know and i think he's aware of it himself and he he started out at a different time than we did he's a good dude though man i've i've been with brian for a long time we've worked together for like a decade he's a good dude man he's uh

you know he's got a lot of man child in, but that's that's part of what makes him funny Yeah, that's part of what makes him unique and PS. Here's the fucking thing No one needs to be attacking you exactly nobody. Yes, and there's no bad guys There's no need for there to be an enemy involved here. It's crazy. Yeah, there's no there's like there's just it's like what we've Got going on here with this, but whatever you want to call it the death squad this podcast our podcast is an emergent art form that's incredibly beautiful and all of us are contributing to it in our own way and a lot of people seem really invested in it and a lot of people seem authentically upset by this fight and and and so i think like out of respect for this

whatever this weird fucking thing is that we're building here, we've got to like learn how to forgive each other and to let bygones be bygones because otherwise the community that we're forming is weak, you know, and then in a week fucking thing is going to fall apart. thing is going to fall apart. I think you need blowouts like this. I would prefer for them to happen in private, but I think in this case it got into the public eye fine. The fact that it is in the public eye creates even more of a reason to resolve it in a

civilized way. It doesn't mean somebody gets hurt or somebody gets fucking excommunicated or somebody gets permanently mad. It means that because if we can't figure it out, if we can't figure out how to resolve something as silly as this, then how can we fucking talk about stop dropping bombs?

You know what I mean? How can we stick when that's what that is in the macro? Right. You know what I mean? And that's why I think it takes at some point, if you look at the back and forth that happened in war, it's somebody did this to someone, and then they did something back, and then they did something back bigger, and they did something back bigger.

It goes on forever. At some point, you just have to be like, I'm sorry. I forgive you. I'm sorry. And that's it. And that's when Brian goes, fuck, don't get trussed over. Right. Yeah, I know, man.

That's the fucking thing. But you know what? it's like you can only handle your side of the street right you know what i mean that's all that's all that you could do you can only handle your side of fucking things that's all you can do that's it yeah you know i think all of us get caught up in life and stress and shit and this and that and there's words that come out of your mouth that are poorly chosen there's there's ideas that are expressed selfishly you. We all make mistakes, especially when you're

fucking busy, not getting enough sleep, real stressed out, always in the middle of a million different things like I know you are and I certainly am. People make mistakes. People make a lot of fucking mistakes. People make mistakes. You've got to know when you've been friends with someone for a long time the essence of who that person is.

You know, you've got to be a nice guy both when you've been friends with someone for a long time, the essence of who that person is. You know, you've got to be a nice guy both when you are in charge and when you are the employee or the person who has to listen and follow directions, whether you're the fan or whether you're the performer, whether you're the police officer or the guy who has to talk to the cop because his car got stolen.

You know, we have to figure out a way to to always communicate with respect it's just so hard to develop a human being that's completely and totally honest that we live in this world of maybes and half-truths and bullshit and lies and then behind the lies there's things that are true but make no sense like legislation laws and all of it adds up to be this really confusing, frustrating, unfair feeling of life in general, just as a pattern of your whole fucking situation. But all of it, all of it can be cured by the simple truth that we have to start treating each other as if we are treating ourselves living another life. If we are all this one thing that is born into this world in various

circumstances, in various biological situations, in various states of the world, in various climates, but at the soul of it all, behind the sex and behind the height and the weight and the essence of what a fucking human being is, it could just be easily you. You could be that guy.

You could be this guy. What you are, stripped of culture and language, and what I am is the same thing. I'm just going through this in a completely different ride with a totally different flesh vehicle. And we happen to see each other along the journey and we become friends and united in our struggle together and enhanced each other. But at the end of the day,

we're the same fucking thing. And once we realize that I'm the same as some poor fuck that was born in Afghanistan and is living in a cave, I'm the same as that guy. I just got a way better

roll of the dice and I was born in New Jersey. You know what I'm saying? I mean, that, the only way we're ever going to get over this hump of existence is if we drop all the bullshit and the one law that we should all recognize, the one thing that we should all practice is the ideal that you are me and I am you and we are living completely different lives but inside

the body inside the the meaning of what it is when you think of you i could easily be you i could easily be my mother i could easily be this asshole that lives on the street for me that i can't talk to because he's dumb i can it could be this guy i could be that guy i could have been born here it's just some crazy situation where we may all be the very same thing, living through different epochs, living through different biological identities, living through different genetics and different social circumstances.

But at the root of it all, we could be the same fucking thing, and we essentially are. We essentially are. It's our own individual experiences that confuse the fuck out of us. If we really started treating people like that, if you really looked at the world like that, and it doesn't always mean that you're going to give that person everything they want,

because then you could spoil you. Well, that's right. I mean, you can't be phony about it. Yeah. You know what I mean? You have to address it from a real place. Yes. You can't be phony.

Like, you have to address it from a real place. You can't be phony. But if you have as an intention in dealing with conflict, which everyone's going to have, wanting a resolution that lessens... Wanting not just a resolution, but an evolution. Yeah, that's it. If that's your fucking intention behind it, it's going to work out great.

It's going to work out okay. It might be turbulent. It might be weird. But if that's your fucking intention behind it, it's going to work out great. It's going to work out okay. It might be turbulent. It might be weird. But if that's your intention, then it's a lot different than the intention being, I'm going to win this. I'm going to conquer. I'm going to be the one who comes out on top. That only creates more shit ping pong and more negativity in the world. That's the thing that we've got to deal with.

negativity in the world. That's the thing that we've got to like deal with. And this thing with Brian, and I'm sure everyone's got an example of this happening in their life or will have it, deal with it in a way that's like accelerating the community, making the community stronger, making the community more. Well, how about just the less karmic impact? Yeah. You know, that's outside of all that, I mean, get complicated and start really ultra-defining everything

as far as doing it for the community. But just do what is, what feels like the healthiest thing to do. What's the healthiest thing to do? Drop all the problems. Drop all the bullshit.

Just drop it. It's done. Drop it. And learn from it and never be that guy again. You know, we have to accept that this is a try-on- and error sort of a situation in life,

especially the generation that you and I come from. You in your 30s, me in my 40s. We're essentially one of the first generations to be awake. We're one of the first generations to use the Internet and to sort of exchange so much information back and forth with each other that we're kind of reformulating our idea of how the world works you know i mean we don't really necessarily trust our parents that brought us into this thing we don't necessarily trust our parents parents to to have a full sort of uh an account of what what really is going on in this life biologically physically

geopolitically we are one of the first generations to truly have a decent grasp of it because of our use of the internet. So a lot of what we're doing as adults is essentially trying to re-govern our own culture to re-figure out how we're communicating with each other. If the New York Giants fans really want to beat the fuck out of the Raiders and they don't even know them, isn't there something wrong with that? Could that not be us on another side of the country? Do you not understand that?

You really want to go to a fucking ball game in Philly and they break your leg in the hallway because you're wearing the wrong shirt? That stuff happens. That's you, man. That's you on the ground living a different life and you just stomped on your thigh bone and snapped it. That's you on the ground living a different life, and you just stomped on your thigh bone and snapped it. And that's a really unfortunate aspect of life, this sort of a tribal thing that might have existed in that book, The Road, in that movie.

What could happen if the shit hits the fan? But what we have to understand is the shit's not hitting the fan right now. It's not hitting the fan at all. This is nothing like the shit hitting the fan right now. It's not hitting the fan at all. This is nothing like the shit that's the fan. Things are fucking great right now. There was a guy that I was mentioning earlier that was talking about how life right now, that we're unhappy, but yet we live very much like kings and emperors did 100 years ago,

which I thought was really stupid. Because first of all, the idea of we don't live anything like an emperor. You don't have a harem. You can't order them around. You can't have people killed if they talk shit. You don't have people carrying you around on a giant tray everywhere you go. Also, you're not eating rancid fucking meat.

Yeah. You've got a fridge. Yeah, you're not dying from whooping cough because nobody knows what the fuck it is and they think you got possessed by a demon. That was always the thing. It's a demon. Yeah, those silly fucks. Dude, can I tell you about something?

I don't know how long I've been doing this, but please, can you look something up, dude? Yeah, sure. Augmented reality sandbox. Augmented reality sandbox. Look up this fucking thing, man. What is it? Speaking of living in the best,

it's an Xbox Kinect set up over a sandbox with a projector blasting flowing water into it so as you like move your finger through the sandbox like water flows around and like grass forms it's like the future of video games man especially with this new quantum sand that apparently computers can like construct into shapes that they're talking about. Did you find it? Whoa. Yeah, dude. What the fuck is this, man? It's fucking badass. So explain it one more time, please.

It is an Xbox Kinect that's somehow detecting changes in the terrain of the sandbox and projecting water and grass and sand over different parts of it, I think based on how high or how low the sand is. So if you, like, go really, like, if you hold your hand over it, it makes water appear running through the sandbox,

and if you run your fingers through it, I think water appears as though there's, like, water under the sand, like at the beach. You know when my fucking computer runs slow as shit? Probably when you're streaming a podcast. Yeah, when I'm streaming a podcast. What's that about? Well, it's because I guess there's only a certain amount of bandwidth. That's weak.

Is it really that hard to make a podcast, folks? I know. Every time I try to go online, it's slug-like. I'm sorry. So I was looking that up. Augmented reality. I'm trying to pull up the YouTube video it's just it's really slow here so cool it's just okay now I'm looking at it Wow and so how does it work and the Xbox connect I think identifies distances I don't know how it works people it's so you're drawing in

the sandbox yeah and then as you scoop up sand the sandbox it's showing on a projection screen it's projecting directly onto the sand yeah projecting changes and colors and it looks very psychedelic you trip a kid out make a kid make sand castles and that shit. Fuck the kid, man. It's next level. Next level sandcastles. Wait till they project StarCraft on that fucking thing.

I'm gone. I'm gone. When that happens, I'm gone. Speaking of StarCraft, every day in my life is just like downtime until Prometheus comes out. I'm just like, I would like to clone

ridley scott and give him an infinite budget and just give him all the acid and mushrooms he needs and him and hr geiger and just lock him in a room together and just make a million alien movies i swear to god i've been thinking about inducing a coma just to wake up and be able to go to Prometheus. I can't fucking wait. That movie looks so awesome. I know, it's so dorkalicious. Yeah, I can't wait. It's like I was saying about my lust to go see the Avengers.

I feel like I'm getting away with something. I really do. I'm going to bring the Mustang too, the stupidest fucking kid car that I had. I have a Shelby GT500. It's this really loud super American car.

It's so American, man. Everything about it. They don't make another car like that. No one in the rest of the world makes a car like a Shelby Mustang.

Slides all over the place. It's really, it handles pretty well considering. I went and test drove cars yesterday and man, they're so fucking nice

after you've been driving around at 89 volvo of cars these cars are the one one my number one technological thrill like the thing that i enjoy the most i just love the the craftsmanship i love how someone's created something i love the different philosophies behind cars like the high revving cars of germany or like the the deep low torque behind cars, like the high revving cars of Germany or like the deep, low torque muscle cars of America. I just, I think they're fascinating to me. It's, they're moving works of art that they sell, you know?

Like if you buy a new Corvette, like there's a lot of people that think Corvettes are douchey because a lot of douchebags drive Corvettes. But Corvettes are fucking amazing. It's an amazing piece of construction and engineering. Dude, but isn't that a funny thing where like, because people think they're supposed to think it's not cool?

Yeah. An object can get a douchebag-ish reputation and thus if you're with that object... Sorry. What is that? My fucking phone. Sorry. You have a horn? You ridiculous motherfucker. It's a forest horn. Oh, okay. Turn that shit on mute, son. I don't know how. There's a forest horn oh okay turn that on mute son i don't

know how there's a little thing on the side of it i won't turn down all the way it goes to vibrate stupid the thing on the side up above where your fingers are where your finger is see that i'm a finger that finger right there man jesus christ are you retarded there's a little lever on the top of the side of your phone oh the top of the side you see that yeah that shuts it to vibrate you fuck oh you are so retarded how do you not know how to fucking turn your vibrator on oh my god you idiot oh my god you you idiot. Oh My god, you idiot you didn't know that Fuck you have an iPhone and not know where the vibrate button is

Duncan you make me sad Dude, I've been looking at some of these Android phones they have now. I know I get, like, lusty envy with certain phones, but one of them I've been looking at is this Galaxy Note. I've been watching videos, and one of the things that everybody keeps saying is once you get this thing, it's really hard to go back to a regular phone because it's five inches wide, and it's 4G. It's wicked fast. It's a crazy fast processor,

and I'm watching these people use it and play with it online and take pictures with it and draw on the picture. You can write, like, I'm stupid, and you can send it in an email or send it in a text message. And browsing the internet,

I mean, it's fucking huge, man. That's cool. It's five inches. Yeah, man. I feel like the little screen on the iPhone... It's not enough. I think it gives you eye strain. It's bad. I think five inches. Yeah, man. I feel like the little screen on the iPhone. It's not enough. I think it gives you eye strain. It's bad.

I think it fucks up your eyes. This thing is better. This fucking thing is better. I may switch. I may switch from the iPhone to this Note 10. I'll never switch from the iPhone. You say that, man, but these new ice cream sandwich Google phones are pretty fucking complicated, man.

They're really badass. I'm never taking that risk again. Really? They would kiss my ass. Wow. Look at you. I had an Android for so long. They're not like those old Androids, though. I picked up a that risk again. Really? They would kiss my ass. Wow. Look at you. I had an Android for so long. They're not like those old Androids, though.

I picked up a shit Android once. I had a shit Android for one day, and I was like, this is a drunk, retarded iPhone. It was really bad. That's right. This is perfect. But these aren't like that. These new ones are not like that. This new operating system is called Ice Cream Sandwich, and apparently it's the shit.

And the new Samsung Galaxy 3, that's another one that just came out in England. I don't think it's out in America yet. That's another huge one. It's like 4.8 inch screen, enormous screen, not quite as big as the Note. The Note is like 5 plus, I think 5.3. But it's a huge screen and like when you touch the outside of it, it ripples like water. It's like it's got the effect that there's water on it.ipples like water it's like it's it's got the effect that there's water on it when you rub your hand across it it takes a snapshot of the screen

like that's all you have to do it's like you're a magician you do that they're badass man yeah which is going to lead to a lot of accidental screenshots where people are going to be fucking yeah drop their phone in the ground and it looks like it's a swipe, but really it's just passing by a dick. And they take pictures of ball sacks and all kinds of unexpected shit. All kinds of... What's the word you're looking for? Candid. Candid shots.

Candid adult shots. Random vagina shots. Whoa. Adult. What happened? This is an adult film. It's a screenshot. Yeah, there's a lot of...

Of the camera's view. Dude, my... You know what I'm afraid of, man? I'm afraid that, like, here's what's going to happen. This is what I think is going to happen to me when I get conspiratorial and worry about the crazy shit

we talk about on here. Uh-oh. I think one day, the feds are going to come. They're going to take me... They're going to do the old Bill Hicks thing where they take you into a room. But instead of showing a video of an assassination,

they're going to show a screen filled with MOVs of me jerking off in front of my fucking Mac. In front of your camera. The camera's right there. And next to it, the different things I was jerking off to. And they're going to show me that and be like, hey, man, you want to keep saying the hippie shit? You want to keep talking about that?

Because look. I want to keep talking. Hippie boy. Hey, what's this? What's this? Is this German piss porn, Duncan, that you are looking at? Is it possible to convert

the entire government into a positive force? Is it possible to have people that are really looking out to do the right thing and get it all together? Or is the job of working for the government

so fucking unrewarding and boring that everyone just falls into a place of non-innovation non-responsibility thinking the diffusion of responsibility that comes with the corporation also falls upon you when you're in government it's just it seems so few to our futile it seems so huge it seems so impassable that you just sort of give up and come you just become a part of the waves I think right now it's I don't know how you fix it so like all I can think about is like in the micro you fix it and if every if I'm the majority

of people start improving the their lives and the lives of people around them and actively seeking to put positive energy out in the world then maybe that'll sort of transform the government itself in a real way. But as long as people are getting caught up worrying about the macro and thinking that everything's coming to a screeching halt and everything's fucked up and they might as well just live like idiots and give up trying to be happy, then shit will continue to perpetuate itself in a negative way. So I think the idea is it's like, yeah, things are fucked up.

The world, Nancy Grace's world is a shitty fucking world. But let's not worry about Lin-Lanise Lanoue got strangled in the Everglades. And let's start worrying about the way that we're treating our fucking wife or our friends or our kids or whatever and deal with that. And then if enough people started doing that, I think a big change would happen in the world, man. You can definitely change. Look, everybody can change. And everybody can change their own environment

by surrounding yourself with other people that are like-minded. That is possible. And that's one of the things that I think that this podcast does. We've talked about this before, but it's important to recognize that we're aware of this, that this is not something that existed when we were young. We didn't have access to people that were're aware of this, that this is not something that existed when we were young. We didn't have access to people that were just for sort of with no real, I mean, there's no, I want to say no obligation. There's no real direction that

we're trying to go with us. We were just trying to express ourselves 100% honestly. Yes. There's no ulterior motive no there's no agenda there's no there's no deception it's just this is this is how we really view the world and when you're stuck somewhere and you don't have people like that around you this is the only way you can get that and through this it allows people to connect like-minded like-minded people to connect through Twitter and through Facebook and whatever.

And they seek each other out and all improve the actual environment they live in. And then it starts these exponential changes all over the world. That's the only way, in my opinion, we're ever going to change any government anyway. Is expose them to new ideas that are more satisfying than the stupid, dumb conqueror model that they've been using since before the days of Genghis Khan. That's it, man, and we've got to figure that out. We have to figure out what that looks like. Well, that looks like the Internet. That's what it looks like. That's right, it looks like Reddit.

The Internet is the only thing that, exactly, the Internet is the only thing that doesn't want to hear your bullshit. You know, there's isolated pockets, there's isolated, you know, places where you can go, like Stormfront websites, and where you can go, like storm front websites, and where you can just go hang out with only Nazis. You know what I mean? There are a lot of those out there.

You could just do that. But the overwhelming social network interaction, the overwhelming experience seems to be the distribution of information. That's it. Good and bad. Good and bad. But the distribution of information, you know, good and bad, you know good and bad but the district distribution of information the exposure of reality Yeah, it's incredible man

and it's like definitely if you look back at history and the way powers always fought to subvert the flow of information and suddenly there's a thing that is like a Truth volcano and there's no way to put a fucking cork on it No, dude, if we had this if this was a radio show and we were in 1916, this is a pirate radio show They put us in jail. Oh, yeah, they would come after us and put us in jail There's a giant difference between the world of post 1993 which is really sort of the one of the first years of the internet being like a public entity that I can remember and maybe It happened a few years before that for the real hardcore guys, like the real hardcore geeks.

But for me, 1993 is about what I, and that's a different fucking era. They might as well have been, I mean, before that, there was no cell phones either. All that happened at the same time as well. You know, essentially, in a few years post,

you know, it all kind of bubbled together into one big sort of a communicative soup. Yeah, man, it's incredible. And it's also incredible how positive it can be. Can be, yeah. This, this, with this, more positive for us, you know, for sure. More positive at the shows, more people enjoying themselves. We're having shows that we've never had before.

So the kind of shows we're having where we're going and thousands of people are there and the thousands of people are screaming and having fun and and this is just massive bursts of positive energy well that massive burst of positive energy all came out of doing something like this doing this podcast connecting with all those people out there filling their head with something to think about while they're working while they're doing mundane tasks while they're commuting all of it for free, all of it without an agenda, and all of that, we see what it does.

It spreads out more positivity. And it makes you want to write more shit, and it makes you want to perform more comedy and have more material for them and do more shows. And it fucking rocks your consciousness when the freaks contact you and say, hey, listen, I'm a thelemite.

I'm a disciple of Crowley. Hey, why don't you check out this book, book four? And then you order, all right, I'll fucking get book four. And then you're reading Crowley, and suddenly you're like, holy fucking shit. This is some intense shit here. Some of this is right on and real. Or that guy Matt Staggs from Disinfo.

I love you. He sent me all these fucking books i've been reading these books and getting stoned and reading these books and just start shuddering and stoner like are you fucking kidding the catholic church all this shit oh yeah i'm upset over the catholic church is all coming from this one fucking book that he sent to me and and that's the other cool thing is just get if you don't know about disin, just go out and get You Are Being Lied To. Yeah. It's amazing.

They're amazing. Anybody who says there's no conspiracies is a fucking idiot. Because, like as we were talking about with 9-11, there had to be a conspiracy on the enemy side. So there are conspiracies in human nature, and they do pull things off. And if you don't think they have in the past, you're being silly. You're being incredibly silly. That's how it runs. Yeah, but, yeah,

there's obviously conspiracies. There needs to be conspiracies. How about every time you fucking, I mean, yeah, there's many conspiracies and huge conspiracies. Anyway. The whole point is

what we have going on here is not a one-sided thing. We've got a conversation happening with these people were they anytime they were connecting with people Yeah, and that's why it's so cool to do those things we do after the show We go out and take pictures of people for fucking hours for hours We just go wait out into the crowd and take pictures and fun. Yeah, and these people are Overwhelmingly cool overwhelmingly cool. I yeah 99.9% nine nine nine nine nine. I, I, yeah. 99.9%. 99999.

Yeah. And even the ones that aren't cool are just fucking probably just freaking out. The ones that aren't cool are just a little too drunk, I've noticed. Just a little bit of that, yeah.

Fucking poor drunks. Wow. Sad bitches. So drunk. Yeah. But it's, uh, it's other than that, it's been overwhelmingly positive.

And, uh, that all came from this one thing. You know, it all, it. And that all came from this one thing. It all came from this one idea, this desire to express yourself and express information, discuss things, and to force ourselves to have these conversations on a regular basis. And Duncan and I, we started having these conversations when he was working at the comedy store.

That was the same. Very similar. That's how we became friends. Duncan was the guy who you'd call in. He'd say, hey, man, I'm going to be in town Friday and Saturday. Throw me up. And Duncan would, you know, he would write down the lineups and give them to Mitzi, and Mitzi would decide, like,

where to put everybody. So Duncan and I would call him up. Hey, man, I'm going to be in town Friday. What's going on? Dude, I just read this book, okay? And we would go into these crazy fucking rabbit hole conversations because sometimes the phone wouldn't ring at the comedy store for an hour, you know?

So you and I would just keep talking. We would just have long ass crazy conversations about all kinds of weird shit. Yeah, man, but you know, you pretty much gave me my big break because you started taking me out on the road with you when I sucked.

You know, you always had potential. You know, it wasn't that. But you saw that. Yeah. And that meant a lot because like, like having like you be like, hey man, like I can remember, I'll never forget this shit, man. I can remember being in the OR and doing this joke. I don't even do it anymore.

But it was like being in a bad relationship is like having an octopus stuck to your face that every once in a while whispers to you, do you still love me? It's some dumb joke, but I remember you saw that and after it you were like, that was fucking funny, man, and I was like, whoa, holy shit, man,

Rogan thinks that joke's funny. That was a big moment, man, you really do help a lot of young comics, man, you that was a big moment man you really do help like a lot of young comics man you have a lot of fucking you like really have like a a sort of patron thing happening with people well that's nice if that's true i i love comedy man it's still my favorite thing to watch as an audience member you know i think it's the greatest art form there is as far as me you know like what what it entertains me i just love watching a good comic, more than anything. So I, you know, I love, like,

helping. I love watching guys become killers. I remember watching Ari Shafir go from being a guy who was like kind of a little bit uncomfortable on stage, trying to find his feet, to one day, you know, just slowly but surely becoming a killer. And now I just watch, I've seen Ari

crush in front of thousands of people. And I remember taking him on the road with me. I remember I took him to Denver. I was taking Mike Young. Mike Young couldn't make it for some reason. So I took Ari, and Ari just fucking lit the place on fire. And I was like,

God damn, look at Ari Shafir. All of a sudden he's a real comedian. It's beautiful. It's beautiful to watch your friends grow and prosper and become real comedians you would fucking encourage me to do the puppet act and fucking crowds that it could never work you would be like just do it no just fuck them man just do it that's your bit it was awesome brilliant but a lot of fucking a lot of comics were bringing people on the road with them

would not recommend before their sets be like hey dude do that fucking really uncomfortable satanic puppet act right so that i come out because i want to see what it's like to come out to a horrified crowd not just a crowd that's like like seeing someone bomb but a crowd that's like maybe seen like either someone who's a schizophrenic or like a satanic ritual well you know i mean i had this conversation with ari once uh on the road we were talking about trying out new stuff and bombing or you know or what have you you know like the the willingness to take chances and then sometimes it doesn't work out and he said yeah but sometimes you know you go on the road and you don't want to take those chances.

I said, well, you don't have to worry about that because you're open enough for me. Right. So, like, it doesn't matter if you bomb. Oh, yeah. You're never going to get fired. Yeah. I know that you're a funny comedian. Yeah, that's cool.

As long as you're trying to be. When I wouldn't have that feeling is when someone wasn't trying to get better. You know, there are people that just get to a certain point and they just completely plateau and then they redo the same jokes for a decade i mean we all know comics that are like that i have no desire to be around those type of people but the type of guys like you or like ari or anybody who is improving and always working on your stand-up i was like go fuck around up there man. If it doesn't work out. It doesn't matter It doesn't matter. It's all about developing

But you don't necessarily tiptoe around the fact and some of our jokes don't work out gotta be honest about that But I want you to be honest to me, too Again, I mean Eddie Bravo said to me once goes man. I don't like that joke you're doing and I said, yeah I'm kind of forcing it right and like yeah, thank you for telling me that thank you cuz I'm fucking forcing that joke you're doing. And I said, yeah, I'm kind of forcing it, right? I'm like, yeah, thank you for telling me that. Thank you, because I'm fucking forcing that joke. That was a joke that I kept in my arsenal that I committed to for whatever reason. It just wasn't good. No, that kind of shit helps, man. Fuck yeah, man.

You need to know. You need to know when you're being repetitive. You need to know when you overuse the word fuck and you make for an uncomfortable moment when someone's listening to you. What you're doing when you're on stage is you're essentially controlling the pattern of thought that goes through someone's mind because you're going to bring up various topics and various subjects

and put various images and feelings in people and you have to get them to appreciate where your mind is coming from. Well, if you're adding in a bunch of extra fucks or you're stammering or you're coming off like a goof, which often time we do, especially on this podcast

when we got too high, like I couldn't remember the Young Turk thing earlier. Ah, that's okay. So we go into stammer mode, you know, but no one wants to listen to that

and then allow you to continue controlling the pattern of thought. Right. That's why it's an uncomfortable moment. That uncomfortable moment is the realization

that you, at that moment, you shouldn't be in control. and unfortunately you are because there's only two people in the room and regardless of the fact that a half a million people gonna listen to this there's only two people in the room two people sometimes I've gone on stage and fucking forgotten what's about to come out of my mouth that's the worst thing where you're like in the middle of something and that's happened to me a couple of times where I'm like too high

and I'm like shit do, can I do this joke? You gotta be careful. Well, you know what sucks when you do more than one show in a night? Yeah, and then you get really confused. Well, because when you do more than one show, what happens is there's a state of mind when you're on stage, which is like, let's just consider it getting on the trolley and sitting in the same seat. Okay, you get on the trolley, you're in that same seat.

That is the state of mind that you're at when you're on stage like i'm in this driver's seat and here we go i'm on the trolley well when you're on the trolley again for the second show and especially if you do it like i do it where i don't really have necessarily a particular order i think i have an idea probably how i'm going to close but i don't know how the fuck i'm going to open and i might go from here to there, and I might jump all over the place, and when I do that, then I can get lost and say, I don't remember if I did this one already.

Dude, it's really easy to lose your focus up there, but thank God it doesn't happen all the time. You know, I just realized this two-man thing a problem. I got to fucking piss, dude. Go piss. Let's wrap this up. We've been talking for two hours. Should we wrap it up now? In 50 minutes.

Yeah, let's wrap it up now. So I think to wrap up the Brian thing, I think we all learned a little something from this. And I think, yeah, online feuds and just spats and all that stuff is just bitch shit. Yeah, let's forget it. Water under the bridge. It's gross.

Done. Done. See you later. Bye-bye. Bye. You're going to have to have a city of levitation to lift yourself above this

life. We need to get you back in the isolation tank dude. I got to get in there. Can I plug something? Plug the fuck out of it son.

We're doing pre-sales for the first time ever in my life as a comedian. Oh my goodness. I've started selling t-shirts. We're doing pre-sales

for t-shirts at the shop at doggetrussell.com. They're awesome. One of them is a pyramid killing a fucking vampire. I've seen itgetrussell.com. They're awesome. One of them is a pyramid killing a fucking vampire. I've seen it.

It's pretty dope. It's badass. If they order a piece here, how long is it before the shirt will actually ship? We're going to put the order in on the 15th. So then how long will it be

until they actually get it? It's on the side. I think it'll be a couple of weeks. A couple of weeks. You can handle a couple of weeks, folks. Give it something to look forward to. Plus, if you get them now, it's $20.

And if you wait, it's a $2 extra and you can't afford to look forward to. Plus, if you get them now, it's $20, and if you wait, it's a $2 extra, and you can't afford that. Whoa, that's dunking you crazy. You're a marketing genius. I like how you do. You give them a penalty. My web guy, Steve,

came up with that. That guy sounds like a creep. No, he's an awesome guy. I know he is. He's that guy in the woods. He loves this show. Gimmicky motherfucker. Yeah, he's great.

Just kidding. I can't help myself. I love you, Steve. You're the greatest ever. Steve, I don't even know you, and I love you, but you are me, and I am you. We already established that. Holla! We myself. I love you, Steve. You're the greatest ever. Steve, I don't even know you and I love you, but you are me and I am you.

We already established that. Holla! We'll be doing more podcasts this week. I'm not sure who. I'm working out the next couple ones this week, but more Red Band as well. Don't worry. We'll bring my little buddy back into the mix.

And so I want to thank everybody that came to New York this past weekend. We had the fucking time of our lives. It was a blast. I mean, you can't get better than that. I played it yesterday. I played the audio of Joey Diaz going on stage. People didn't hear it.

Oh my God, it was insane. I'll pull it up again just because it's so ridiculous. I gotta go piss. Go ahead. When you go piss, I'll play this. Because I played it for Mrs. Rogan and she almost didn't believe it. It really doesn't seem real. This is Joey Coco Diaz going on stage in New York.

He hasn't even had a chance to say a word yet. He had a stop down. It was just crazy. It really represents to all of us some sort of a real obvious paradigm shift. And I can speak for every one of us, for Joey, for Ari, for Duncan. We're very, very thankful that all this is happening. And for me personally, as a guy who, I was the one who was on television and I was the one who was taking these guys on the road with me to see guys like Joey all of a sudden become recognized and people appreciate him for what he is. recognizing his brilliance because he's so crazy and out there and wild with his comedy that until he was famous until he was like an established personality like he is now it's almost like it's

too hot to handle there's too much to to deal with people nobody wanted to have him middle that was like a big deal with with joey diaz like he couldn't get work on the road because he couldn't headline but he couldn't middle because nobody wanted joey diaz on in front of road because he couldn't headline but he couldn't middle because nobody wanted Joey Diaz on in front of them because he would just go up and fucking destroy but my philosophy of comedy came out of the comedy store and uh first of all what that meant was that we were all brothers in the comedy store so it was like if I was going to take anybody on the road with me I take my comedy store brothers it was always Ari Shir. It was always Duncan Trussell. It was different people. Sam Tripoli. Different people that are Comedy Store brothers. And Joey was always a Comedy

Store brother. And so when I started taking him on the road with me, there was two reasons. One, because he was a Comedy Store brother. And two, because the philosophy of the Comedy Store also was you had to go on with a bunch of other killers. You didn't want to be the only guy that was good.

You wanted a comedy store was about a bunch of different guys being good. Like the old outlaws of comedy, you know, with Carl Lebow and Kenison, like there was a bunch of guys that were really good. Ron shock. There was a bunch of these dudes that were really good together. And that,

you know so so taking guys like joey on the road and exposing him to all these people and then seeing him go on stage and these fucking gigantic rounds of applause he gets it's beautiful i couldn't be happier it's amazing to me it's like um it's like a vision that's sort of coming true we have this idea when we used to do these you know when we were have this idea, when we used to do these, you know, when we were calling ourselves the Death Squad, we used to do these little videos. I hired Brian to do these

Death Squad videos. And some of them were really short, like one of them was Joey Diaz talking about mugging this gay guy and the gay guy beat him up. I mean, there's a bunch of them. I'll probably get Brian to try to find them all

and organize them and put them online because some of them were really classic. But the idea didn't really come to fruition in the terms of doing it through these little video clips the real way to get to know a guy like joey is to get to know him on the podcast to hear him go off for hours and hours

about criminal stories about sneaking into some girl's fucking bedroom at two o'clock in the morning eating their pussy and then escaping and like this is the crazy shit that he did you know the lucy snore bush story has become so big that a guy the crazy shit that he did you know the Lucy Snorebush story has become so big that a guy at in Atlanta did you see the stickers that he made yep it's he had hello my name is Lucy Snorebush teach to stickers they were they're amazing man it's just to see that happening and to see it all come out of uh this this one idea you know, that, man, I got this really talented group of friends. And I think that if we all stick together and sort of, you know, help each other out and pump each other up, we make each other better. And we make each other funnier. And we

create like a bigger footprint of positive energy. All of us together have one giant footprint of positive energy. But it has to be only that. And that's why it was very important to resolve this whole issue with you and Brian. And, you know, as I said, it's not a clear-cut case of either one person having done the right thing. And there's errors made on both sides, both in the actual act itself and in the discussion of the act afterwards. There's some incorrect thinking and there's some negative thinking going on, but hopefully we work all that shit out. The most important thing is we're all of us in this fucking thing together

and the less negative bullshit that you can spread, the more forgiveness that you can give, the more you can call people up and go, I'm fucking sorry, I'm really sorry. And the more the person listening can go, it's all right, dude, it's all good, dude. The more we can do that in this life, the more we realize that we're all capable in various situations and in various circumstances of making colossal mistakes.

It doesn't necessarily mean you're a horrible person. It just means sometimes we don't respond well to stress. Sometimes we don't respond well to character issues, and we need to learn, and we need to grow. And you may be more perfect than I am. You may be further ahead, but show me. Show me how you got there. Don't chastise.

Don't be angry and don't hate. Try to elevate. We can all make this. We're not going to make utopia. It doesn't exist, but we can all make our environment and the people we come in contact with a little bit better. Amen. My recording will stop in three minutes. I just got a warning from Ustream. Listen, power to the people. I love all you dirty bitches. We do. And we'll be back soon. Thanks to the Fleshlight. Go to joerogan.net.

Click on the link for the Fleshlight. Enter in the code name Rogan, and you will save yourself some money. And thank you to onnit.com. That's O-N-N-I-T. Enter in the code name Rogan. And you will get 10% off any and all orders. Thank you for everybody. Thank you.

Thank you for everybody for tuning in. I'm selling my Brazilian translation. Thank you, everybody, for tuning in. And we love the fuck out of you. Love you. Bye.