The Joe Rogan Experience - #2175 - Sam Tallent

Episode Date: July 11, 2024

Sam Tallent is a stand-up comic, host of "Sam Tallent's Wide World," co-host of "The Chubby Behemoth" Podcast, and author of "Running the Light." His latest special, “The Toad’s Morale,” is available on YouTube. www.samtallent.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Joe Rogan Experience Trained by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day! Can they help? They have a real like, uh... Estonia? Yeah, so like the comics there, it's called Humor Clibi I think, and every show done in Estonia is only produced by these comics so no one gets a piece of it besides comedians Yeah, so they've like totally collectivized Comedy in Estonia also they sort of developed their own scene just the comics so there was no comedy club

That was available, and they kind of created something well Estonia has been a country since like 1994 Yeah, you know so it's like all brand new and I think free speech was just legalized like, you know, last year or whatever. And they brought me over. But the crowds, bro, I did a show in the college town there and I was like, I watched the first two comics, Ari, very funny, not getting big laughs. So I went out there and tried to like attack all this crowd. And at one point I was like, where do you work, ma'am? And she went, no, that was the amount that they wanted to connect and like they don't laugh audibly and but afterwards I'm out there selling merch and they're all

Like that was a pleasure. It's the time of my life. Thank you. It's like, okay Well in America typically we smile at least if we're having the time of our life It was like someone's gonna throw a rock at him if they made any noise Wow Yeah, they're probably shell-shocked. Oh for sure yeah, oh you gotta imagine But Ari's like Ari Matty who we're talking about yeah, who is very very funny is such a joyful guy silly Yeah, yeah, like how did he come out of there? Well? I think he's just happy to be out of there Turned him into who he is now. It's like in The Great Escape when you see sunlight and all it can do is smile.

Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting when you see someone who's really talented that comes out of a place that doesn't have any history of it. Yeah. Well, they get to create their own culture there. So they got to figure out how to do stand-up. And I think that Ari can do stand-up in like three different languages. Wow. Yeah. So what is Estonian? What do they speak? I think Estonian. Oh, they have their own language? I think so. But they've only been

a country since 94. Right. Well, so they were a country and then Russia came in and they weren't a country and then Russia left and then they were a country and then Russia came back I think and then they were a country after that. So they just have this like history of having a boot on their neck for years and years. So I think he can do Est think and then they were a country after that so they just have this like history of having a boot on their neck for years and years so I think he can do Estonian and I think he can do Russian and English. Wow. Yeah. That's crazy. And he can like kill you with his bare hands. He looks great with his shirt off. Yeah he was an MMA fighter. Yeah. He had three fights. He's fighting Estonians. They're scary people. That's how you go on three

Like you're too nice and you're too nice to be in that game they quit doing act outs Yeah, he was with a legit gym to legit gym. It was a straight blast gym. That's Connor McGregor's gym Well an affiliate of that. Yeah, he's legit. Yeah, I'm happy for him. I signed his like visa letter Oh, yeah him and James McCann. I'm both on them. so if either of them fuck up I'm gonna be in big trouble. I don't know McCann James McCann is Shane's boy from Australia. Oh, I do that's right I'm sorry no. I do know him. That's right. I just so many fucking names now It's all I've met more people in the last year and a half since the clubs been open Yeah, and I have probably ever in my life trying to keep an eye and pay attention to all these new faces and new comics Oh, yeah, you know, but it's pretty amazing. Well, you make yourself available to them too, which is cool I admire that about you

Because you could just like be a man in a tower, you know do this thing, but no you're like out there No, I'm one of us. Yeah, that's the only reason why the club works. Oh for sure. Yeah, you can't Be gross. I don't have I very little say and how things even go on Yeah, I hired good people and I said let's just make sure that we have some core tenants You know in terms of like the pay structure. It's like entirely you know Opposite of most clubs. Yeah, the money goes to the comics. Yes, which it should like if you're a comic And you don't have it set up like that What the fuck are you doing? I don't know so we always we always knew we were getting robbed right and now on we were like

Hey, thank you for robbing me. Thank you for the opportunity I'm a club owner now, so I'm like I know we were getting robbed so I'm not gonna do that Yeah, I'm not gonna have it this it's funny how many club owners get mad at it. Oh, dude I mean I'm finally selling tickets now after like you know fighting it out for like 20 years And the independent clubs will give you every penny that they can give to you Whereas like the corporate owned clubs are like you know they have the exact spreadsheet Yeah, they're so brutal. They're so brutal I

This is like I don't want to say who it was oh my god. I just got a hot sauce in my eye Oh, no fucked up. I was eating something with ghost Oh my God, I just got a hot sauce in my eye. Oh no. I was fucked up. I was eating something with ghost peppers today and I forgot I had it on my hand and I just wiped my eye. At least you didn't touch your dick. Wow. Ah, I did touch my dick.

That's the worst. It's not that bad. I've done it. As bad as the eye. Oh, I did a jalapeno and then I touched my dick and then my wife came home and I had the tip of my penis and a saucer of milk. She was like, what are you up to?

I'm just like crying with my dick in cream. That's like that old Eddie Murphy bit about putting the aftershave on his balls. Oh yeah. I have clear eyes if you think that'll help at all. Yeah, throw that over here. God damn it. Capsaicin's a hell of a drug, man.

Ghost pepper, baby. That'll wake you up. Oh my God. It's like those smelling salts you have in the green room. Oh yeah. I fucked around. We have a green room, bro. Dude, I dipped my toes into those waters.

The ones we have at the green room are bullshit compared to these. Hey, I'll take your word for it. Come on, bro. You got to take one blast. I'll blast one. OK, one blast. Chuck that sucker this way. Maybe that'll clear up my eyes. Come on bro. You gotta take one. I'll blast one one blast chuck that sweat

Clear up my eyes. It's gonna clear up something Definitely forget about your oh my god What a glowing endorsement of this product oh my god a glowing endorsement of this product. Oh my god Oh my god, oh dude Yeah, I want to do oh, I felt it in my lungs it gets oh Man, it really hits like the reptile part of your brain. Yeah, exactly Oh man, it really hits like the reptile part of your brain. Yeah, exactly. Right? Woo.

God, I can't believe I did that. Let's podcast. Let's fucking go. I'm going to go fight Bruce. I'll be right back. God. Ah. Ah.

I did it to impress Ron White in the green room, and he just laughed. You idiot. You idiot. Ron's done it. He's full of shit. He's done it too Runs taking quite a few hits, but none of these guys know about that one. That's the real one. Yeah, that's uh, that's a juju Mufu

bodybuilder dude, he's got this Brand that sells them it's called ah, that's the real one that one is above and beyond anything. I've ever tried. It's like multiple Magnitudes are there individual like capsules in here. You're supposed to break what the fuck That one is above and beyond anything I've ever tried. It's like multiple Magnitudes are there individual like capsules in here. You're supposed to break what the fuck's in there. Oh my god This looks like crystal meth. Yeah, it's just rocks and ammonia my right nostril still on fire No, we're good as a Joey did is I gotta clean up my left one She's had a lot of stuff up that nose Yeah, I'm amazing. You could smell anything Yeah, well yeah, thank you for having me back

So what's the road been like you're all over the place man I follow you on Instagram You're in all these crazy countries and do you just decide to like see the world like is that what the plan was? Stand-ups a pretty good cheat code to travel and experience the authentic version of a place because you get to hang out with people from That place while you're there that weekend, right? So yeah I did like every state in America by the time I was like 30 and then was like well Maybe I'll go abroad and stand up so new in the rest of the world that it's like you feel like you're in the ground floor of like all I can really Approximated to is like the early days of like hardcore like punk rock when like Black Flag and Minutemen were out there

Right, and I feel like I'm doing shows like that when I go to Estonia or Bratislava Right. Yeah, and everyone's so happy to have you. Was there any place that was really fun, where they laughed really loud and they got the jokes? Or was it every place a little disjointed? It's different because some of those, the more it used to go into Europe, the more they watch it like theater.

But I remember I was in Hungary, in Budapest, and that show was awesome. And it shouldn't have been. Like, the host went up and ate it, and he was getting all sweaty up there, and he had to, like, take off his sweatshirt because he was bombing so hard. God bless him, you know?

But he comes off stage, and he brings me on, and he's like, it's hot up there, bro. And then I went out there, and I was, you know, just made fun of him, and the crowd was like, very good, you know? And then I killed over there, man. Really? Yeah. And I didn't think it was going to be good, you know? And then I killed over there, man. Really? Yeah.

And I didn't think it was gonna be good because they were all stern-faced Europeans. You don't walk out there and, like, see, like, people who look like they've smiled before, but I got him. I took Hinchcliffe to Stockholm once. Yeah, Stockholm's fun. I had a great time,

but he had never been to Europe before, and I had performed in Ireland, I had performed in England, I had performed in a bunch of different places and We did two shows and the first show is like dude that they did not like me I go you got laughs he goes yeah, but then they died off. I go no no that's what they do here Yeah, they pay attention mm-hmm like they pay attention in between each joke. Yeah Yeah, they don't just keep laughing and talking and making noise like they're also not eating hot wings right you know yeah No one's like arguing about splitting the check or Anything does another thing that I made sure with the club no food

Yeah, he's food and we're connected to two restaurants rest of pizza place to the left maximum place to the right yeah We're good. Everyone's fine. Yeah You don't have to eat you can take an hour and a half or two hours after you out of your day and not eat We guys also don't have to worry about being like an Applebee's where there's occasionally comedy Which is a lot of these clubs out there not a lot of them, but they're still they still exist that model of like Hey, well, hey, hey the host by the way And when you have when you do everyone's birthdays after that make sure you plug the you know the queso dip Yeah, try the wings. Yeah. Yeah, I did a lot of those. Oh me too

But those are important for learning how to captivate someone's attention span yeah, you know for a comic It's like learning how to run uphill if you can't compete with a quesadilla It's just you know it's a good way to maximize profit But it's not a good way to put on a show no when I see comedy clubs, and they have food I'm like why you have food this is a dumb thing also when we got the ritz when we first looked at the place It had a kitchen Mitzvah bar used to be a kitchen for the Alamo draft house Yeah, so we went in there's fucking roaches like cell phones running around there Jesus, and I was like okay This is what happens when you have food. Yeah, you have roaches in your kitchen like we can't have roaches

Like yeah, we don't want those yeah I thought you guys were gonna put in like a pizza place when I first toured it with you way back in the day you were talking about talking about doing next door next door yeah where Rapolo's pizza is yeah talking about doing that but they don't want to leave okay I mean they're printing money right there now they are yeah you guys raised the property values in the neighborhood I should have bought it when everybody was dying in the middle of the pandemic everything was fucked But no, you know, we could have never imagined it was gonna work as good as it worked You know

The whole plan was just the plan was like to just see what happens and build but like from the opening night It was just guns blazing and then Dave Chappelle came like a couple of days after we opened and he's the first guy that ever Performed up well actually Shane opened for him So shame was the first guy that ever performed in the little room Wow and then Dave did a set there And we did that one. I just sold it off a Twitter I said we're having a special intimate show tonight at 1130 and it sold out and no one had any idea it was and Then when they found out it was Dave, it was fucking pandemonium.

That was in Little Boy? That was in Little Boy, yeah. Oh my God. So he did the first set in the big room and he did a set after me. So they had no idea then either. And again, the club had just opened and everybody's cheering.

I'm like, thank you, actually the show's not over. We got one more comedian, ladies and and gentlemen one of the greatest of all time Please welcome my friend Dave Spell and he goes out to and they we just want fucking bananas people's heads exploded Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah, they liquefied it was awesome So we like from the beginning it was guns blazing then so many people started moving here, and I'm like wow okay And then now we're at a point where I'm like I think we need another club Yeah, carrying capacity might have been reached over there. It's mobbed every night so I'm like I feel like we could get a club like down the street and

You know have an a and a b club and just It's all for all these young people. It's all about numbers like how many you needs Obviously you need to analyze your material you need to write, but it's about getting on stage That's one of the primary components that needs to be a part of this equation like you have to go on stage a lot Volume yeah, yeah, and in a good environment you need the bad environments, too You need shitty and you're gonna get plenty of those. There's a lot of that Yeah, I mean God I was just at this club this weekend the comedy vault and Batavia great club

But the AC was broken. Oh, no, so it's just like and they were packed shows Oh, and people are just in there like dropping out by the time I got up there people were not Stoked to still be in that room. Yeah, and I'm just dripping sweat I look like a ham in a window to the creek in the cave was like that. Yeah first moved here They had no AC the AC was garbage and you'd be drenched with sweat on stage, like soaked t-shirt. And now it's like 60 degrees in that room at all times. Yeah, they fixed it. That's the way to do it.

I mean, like Letterman always used to have his room super, super cold. The idea is that warm makes people sleepy, but when they're a little uncomfortable, they're awake. You should just put these at every table mandatory when they sit down people throw it up in the middle of show Most people like do not want that do you guys do check drop? I don't remember no That's the easiest thing a comedy club can do get rid of check drop Yeah, you we we were doing it in the beginning and they were like arguing that we had to do it

And it's a different person running things yeah, but I was like no we don were like arguing that we had to do it and a different person running things Yeah, but I was like no we don't like other clubs. Don't do it either. Well, it's gonna take more time Then it takes more time and the show's better. Yeah, the show's better The most important thing is that the show is like the best show we can put on right? That's what we're selling. Yeah, not selling a check drop No, so like you'd be on stage in the last ten minutes of your set each show is mumbling and I don't know One time a guy yelled out bitch who said you could order hot wings I heard that when I was on stage and I couldn't he buried me from the back of the room

I couldn't recover from that. That's hilarious. Yeah Bitch who said you could order hot way. Yeah, the Denver improv. I never been to that one Of course not comedy works are so good though dude the improv came and they said Wendy you've had it too good for too long We're gonna put comedy works out of business and Wendy's response was to open a second comedy club And now she has two a clubs and the improvs out there like barely surviving across from like a Toby Keith's I love this bar what I was gonna say is there was a club that I Like when I when fear factor had ended

They decided that I wasn't even though I'd sold out like every show for like every time I had been there for years They decided that I wasn't a draw anymore. So they tried to decrease my amount by 25% And I was like what the fuck are you talking about? They're like we don't think you're a draw anymore I go but I sold out a year ago when I was here. the fuck are you talking about they're like we don't think you're a draw anymore I go, but I sold out a year ago when I was here like what are you saying and So I didn't work for them for like a year and a half It is one of those big clubs. Yeah big companies that has a lot of clubs. Yeah, you know I think I know what you're saying for like more than a year and a half I think was like two years, but it didn't work for them like fuck you

Yeah For like more than a year and a half. I think was like two years that it didn't work for them I'm like fuck you yeah, and then when everything was like really going great for me Then they finally came back and gave me great deals, but I'm like you guys are retarded like this is so stupid What are you doing? Why are you doing that to me? I'm keeping the lights on here You like you how many national headliners? Do you guys legitimately have right and you're gonna alienate one of them just because you could think you can make 25% more money Yeah, and you're gonna sell out every ticket. They're not even bring the room Did you sold out in advance already like the point where I was already having to like tell them? I don't want to do radio

Yeah, I don't have to do fucking radio if I was already sold out like that's all we have a relationship with the radio station They like it when you come in. I'm like I don't like it when I come in I don't have to I don't want to wake up at fucking 5 o'clock in the morning on Friday when I'm the least funny I've ever been at 6 a.m.. And then I go on there back to sleep and wake up for the show I'm gonna be all disoriented and fucked up makes the shows worse terrible I'm on there selling a product that is gonna be impaired because I'm on this radio show also like This is around 2007 and by that time the ship had already sailed with radio.

It was kind of already gone. It was then becoming more internet-based promotion. And then by time, I mean, I guess now, some people still have to do radio shows. And I talk to these guys, and some of them go on stage, hey, how many people heard me on the radio today? Like, crickets? It's like a waste of your time.

It's a total waste, but I think that it is built into whatever relationship the radio station has with the club and just quite recently I've had to not do radio any longer, and it's it feels good. It's nice. Well dude kill Tony's a fucking kingmaker Dude, I had no idea is anything I was in Bratislava. There's people in kill Tony t-shirts. It's not a man Yeah, it's nuts. Have you been to one of the arena shows? No, I haven't holy shit That's when you realize when you go to an arena show and they all sing along with like the Hans Kim song Oh, yeah, and they all know like everybody's like thing and when William Montgomery comes out, they fucking go crazy and stand up We like the black keys are huge kill Tony fans, and they love William Montgomery So when they were in town they were doing my podcast they were like can we see William tonight?

So I called William I'm like dude the black keys love you and they want to see he's like wow Yeah, that's so positive Joe love to do a set that'd be great. Thank you Joe. Thank you black keys whoo Yeah, he's it. He's like a caricature of a human being he's but that's really him. Yeah, you ever hugged him He started in Denver. Oh, so I've known William forever Yeah, his hugs are like he might stab you like he's hugging you like he's thinking about stabbing anybody's controlling himself Like kind of a hug is this man's the most intense hug. He's like shaking. It's like you're calming a baby deer When I met at first he was he was like full on alcohol Yeah, I was like this guy's a wild. I don't know if he's gonna make it, but then when he came here

He had sobered up by the time he moved to Austin and then once we got him off the notes Once we got him off the notes. Yeah we got him off the notes, it's like, man, that guy just flourished. He just became this thing. He's present now on stage. Yes, so he would have the notes, and then he would do Kill Tony, and when he would do Kill Tony,

he would read off the notes, but then with the banter, the notes would be down, then he'd start looking at the audience in like, with a menacing way, looking at certain people and fucking yelling at them. I'm like, I go, that's your key. That's you, your whole set. I'm like, this notes thing is a crutch. You know the jokes, just remember them.

Just remember them and you'll get better at remembering them. And also now that you're not polluting your brain with booze and cocaine. Yeah, your memory's better. Right. There you go, buddy. He used to do this bit in Denver where he had a neck brace on, but he would wear it at all times to open mics. And it was going well, and then another comedian

started doing a neck brace thing. No way. Yeah, dude. Imagine stealing a disability joke. It was crazy. I remember being at Comedy Works on a Tuesday and being like, she's doing the neck brace thing. Was it girl? She's nice. Yeah, it was a girl.

Oh my god, that's hilarious. Did she actually have something wrong with her neck? Which would be ironic. Like you had to do the neck brace thing? I don't think she did. Oh my god, she faked it. I don't want to say she faked it, but I don't think it was as necessary as she made it out to be. That's a weird one, man. Uh huh.

You know what's weird? People that wear glasses that don't have vision problems. I hate them. They're stealing valor. I was thinking about that one. Yeah. Yeah? Because you have to have them. I am so blind without these.

What is it with people with clear lenses? What is that about? It shapes their face is what they say. It's an accessory. So they'll have like a big fat face so they'll wear big glasses or they have like a mouse face so they wear little glasses but or they have like a mouse face So they wear little glasses, but I really don't trust those people very odd. Yeah, it's a very odd choice It's like having a prosthetic leg attached when you have both your feet

Yeah, I met a guy and he had those on he was a comic and I go why do you wear those and he goes girls? Think you're smarter. I go really the dumbest girls And he goes, girls think you're smarter. I go, really? Yeah, the dumbest girls. Who are these girls? They think you're smarter because you can't see good. Yeah, if the glasses are doing it, just shake keys at one of them.

That'll probably work too. Well, I guess the stereotype at one point in time was that you ruined your eyes by spending too much time looking at a close surface, a close object, which is what happens, which is why cell phones are very bad for your eyes So like the idea was this guy reads so much I see that his eyes suck He crippled his eyes with his lust for knowledge. Okay, so ask me that answer me this question

Why do I think it's hot when I see girls in glasses because I do I do too man Why because they do this? Oh, that's right. They take the glasses off. They flick their hair back. Before they HHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHK He has people come on stage and sing with them. It's a great fucking show He puts on an amazing show so he brought her out there, and she yells out hock to it to the whole crowd Like who the fuck would have ever thought that would have happened I don't know she just looks like the classic like you know American eight Yeah, it's like I have a chance with her and she seems fun, and she loves sucking dick It's like of course great personality. She captured the zeitgeistist yeah, it's funny. Mm-hmm You know like even the way she says it you get me Yeah, we understand yeah, we get you communicate. She's only 21. I was watching an interview with her. She's only 21

She wasn't a school teacher all that shit the people say she got fired from being it. Nope she's too young to be a teacher she's 21 and You know she wasn't a bartender all that stuff's bullshit it's just a young girl who was just on the streets and nor it was Nashville Nashville and just went viral yeah when the most weird but I love that we live in a time where that happens like it's such a strange time I'm sure she'll be stealing club weekends from me in no time here's something that should go viral Jamie pull, pull up that guy that I tweeted because people think I was making fun of this guy, which I kind of am, but also it is a catchy tune.

You know, there's a lot of people, let me just say this, there's a lot of people that I feel lean into certain things because they think it's marketable. You know, like when that Sam Smith guy dresses up like Satan, start that from the beginning, please. This fucking guy is on stage at a Pride thing, but here's what's important.

How'd you get this footage of me, Joe? I have eyes everywhere. Here's what's important. The fucking dude is talented. Yeah, it's ridiculous that he's got a G-string on and he's fat and he's wearing a biker helmet on and he's got queer tattooed across his belly. But listen to him rap.

Listen to this. How can I stop playing through? Damn. Action Bros and put the weight back on, huh? He did put the weight back on a little bit, unfortunately, he was on the podcast. He's good, right? He's entertaining. Like one of the lines was, let me fill your hole with semen. I'm pretty sure.

That's the only thing that I could get out of all that. Like the little dance. But it's just the flow. I mean, everybody's freaking out about it. Oh, the end of the world listen That's a grown man out there Swinging dick for other grown men yeah, and they're they're having a good time. They're having a consensual hit Yeah, he's having a good time people like it, but my point is like that's that guy

He's got queer tattooed across the stomach. He's not he's not fucking cosplaying. It's not performing Yeah, that says who he is pure But he's fucking talented like that rat like the flow is good like it's fucking good Also, if you go to a show don't you want that guy leading the band? Yeah, that's a blast That's not GG Allen. He'll suck you off. Yeah, I'd love that guy to open up a show. He should open up fully loaded That's what you should do Bert's fucking buddies in the old That's what you should do. Burt's fucking buddies in the old

Burt's crowd just have that guy go out there first and then Burt would come out in the exact same outfit. Yeah Yeah, yeah machine tattooed on his belly. Yes. Yes with the fucking biker hat on yes Yeah, yeah, I'm all for that stuff me too. I like freaks. I love freaks of all time. I mean Here's the thing like a lot of people are upset about the Pride Parade. Because they're like, oh... They're doing the Pride Parade and they're doing it in front of all these children. Hey! Don't bring your kids to a fucking Pride Parade. Right.

I know you want your kids to be tolerant. Oh, Simply Marvelous. Chris Condi, queer conscious rapper. Is that him? Boy, it looks a lot like him. Oh, there's a different tattoos. I think no He's based in Austin it says Hey fella Whoa, he has a song called American faggot. Well, that's hard as hell. Yeah

That is talented that probably was in Austin then oh for sure Yeah, look like it was at a farmers market based on the crowd So like there's this thing that people are saying about like the core the pride parade because all these people are walking around naked At the San Francisco Pride Parade, and so they were interviewing these people and they have their dicks out yeah Listen If you don't want your kids to see Gay guys being sexual that's what pride parade is yeah It's not like a bunch of 40 year old gay engineers holding hands like married guys

We're just holding hands like hey we're proud Yeah, it's different than anything else like any other kind of pride thing because it's not just like we just happen to be gay It's overtly sexual always it's guys with fucking ballgags and dog leashes Pissing on each other. Yeah, it's not it's nuts like I'm not against it at all But you can't complain that that's happening because you brought your kids You can't take your kids to the cage fight and complain about violence exactly don't take your kids to pride and complain about the gays Yeah, they're having a blast. They have a good time Yeah, I still bit about how like I would always want I was thinking my exaggerating about

Like the the gay neighborhood like in LA they have Boys Town and Santa and it's it's so crazy like I was always saying to myself like maybe I'm exaggerating Maybe need to drive through again So every now and then I would take the right turn and go down Santa Monica Boulevard and head towards the ocean Yeah, and it's five blocks of no one saying no. It's just wild madness It's dudes at cowboy hats and g-strings on poles guys making out in the middle of the street and humping each other It's crazy having the time of their life having that time of their life all yang no yen, and no one can get pregnant I'm all for it. Yeah, you wrestle, but everyone wins well also those guys have their own neighborhood the difference between the gays and

Lesbians unfortunately never developed us because I have a theory I think that straight men find out that lesbians move next door and they I'm an ally and then they become their neighbors Whereas like straight men never move into a gay neighborhood very rarely Yeah, you can't like straight values a gay neighborhood No, but they've figured out a way to make like a whole area all gay Yeah, like only gay guys can do that admirable. It's bright. It's great It's wild, but it's just wild that they can pull it off in almost every city Well also they can go into places and then they gentrify these places on the margins of the city and the next thing

You know all the houses are worth so much money because they invest so much in their properties They invest so much on their property make things more safe. Mm-hmm, and they keep a lot of people from moving there If you can tolerate a lot of techno and dudes walking around on Molly, Yeah, for sure. You fucking live there. But also offering you Molly typically. Yeah. They're very generous people. Oh yeah.

Yeah, when I was a kid I lived in San Francisco. So I lived in San Francisco from age 7 to 11. So I lived in a fully gay neighborhood. Yeah, the city of San Francisco. Yeah, but it was a, we were in Haight-Ashbury, like that area. We were right off of Lombard Street. So we were in there in like the mix of the whole thing. I could walk to Fisherman's Wharf from my house.

And so my neighbors were gay, and my aunt used to, she would smoke pot with these gay guys, and they would get naked and play the bongos. And they'd be like, oh, she's over there playing the bongos with the gay guys. It's like, okay. It was so normal to me that it wasn't until I moved to Florida that I even realized that people were homophobic.

And that was when I was 11. Like I had no idea that people had a problem with gay people. I mean, it was just normal for you as a boy to understand that your aunt had these gay friends and it wasn't made strange or they weren't othered. No, they were just normal guys who just happened to be gay. And they were everywhere too. So it's like it became normal because you just saw them everywhere

There was guys holding hands everywhere. This is San Francisco in the 1970s. Yeah, that's like kind of what you want right? Yeah, I want people to be themselves. I want liberty and freedom for that's real freedom You want America to be this fucking land of the free home of the brave? You know how fucking brave you have to be to be holding hands with a dude and walk down a major street? Yeah. What are the possibilities of running into homophobes? It's pretty fucking high. For sure.

Pretty sure. Like, if you're gonna walk down any major metropolitan, like for any, like, three or four block stretch, the odds of you running into a homophobe is very high. Someone's gonna be violently angry that you love another man right yeah I think that the young people now they want to be homophobic But I think that most like 18 to 23 year old dudes have probably sucked a dick or had their dick sucked by a fella Really, I don't know I'd venture to guess that there's happening today. Well. It's a miss they pump it in the classroom Like the gay bomb they tried in Iraq you know about that story no oh my god, you don't know

Oh my god, what the United States spent? millions of dollars trying to develop a gay bomb Wow and so it's based on this hormone and this chemical and they would detonate it above a city and Apparently it make men so randy that they wind up fucking each other and it would detonate it above a city and apparently it make men so Randy that they wind up fucking each other and it would demoralize them. This is the supposed idea no way Yeah This is how goofy our fucking government is not knowing anything about the Spartans who are gay as fuck with like the one of the greatest Armies the world has ever known yeah, they could come for each other so gay

Yeah, not just that but when you fought next to someone and they were your friend Yeah, that was one thing but if it was your lover you would protect them to the death. That's so smart. Yeah, man Well, they just also I think people were just gay then I think people back before they realized like hey You probably shouldn't fuck kids. They just fucked everything You know, yeah, and then people the kids started writing down and once my uncle fucked me all life was downhill And you read that like oh, that's probably stop fucking kids Yeah, like forever before they figure that out because if we like if you think about it like Aristotle Plato Socrates You go back in time all those guys had like young boy lovers

Yeah, yeah, just accepted and it was like part of passing your philosophy forward bizarre. You would take an apprentice Yeah, and he'd also fuck his thighs from behind But then he would tell the world your story It's totally normal. He was fucking writing everything you were saying dictating. Yeah, and tasting Yeah, but there was like that thing with like the the philosophers some of them thought that it was low-minded to actually have sex with The children's butts so they would just bang their thighs from behind and that was like cool. Yeah. Yeah, yeah I think so they just titty fucked their the thighs exactly. Yeah, it's a good move. It's a real soft part of a body Yeah, you don't get that hurt from it

You know it's like I wish that didn't happen, but at least he didn't fuck my butthole still tight as a drum Yeah, it didn't make me walk around uncomfortable. What the fuck did he do to me? Yeah? I don't have to use a diaper now. I just feel weird like I just jizzed all over my thighs. Yeah, whatever whatever. What are you gonna do? We say no about geometry now Bro, they didn't know any better Isn't that crazy like but just think about how much murder took place back then like if you got to be our age Back then if you had to be let's just say you got to be 30 How many people do you think you saw get murdered? Probably dozens. Yeah, you probably saw people get murdered all the time over very small things over almost nothing. Yeah disrespect

I mean look when this country was founded one of our presidents Forget which one engaged in a duel while he was president. I think Andrew Jackson Yeah, I was like his whole thing. He's like to shoot at people yeah from ten paces Mm-hmm is the dumbest fucking thing to think if you hate someone you don't like them Why don't you guys agree to fight or something right? Why you got it doing so dumb with pistols that? Yeah, they're building Andrew Jackson fought hundreds of duals. He did have a temper he was challenged and he was challenged challenged other several times, but only one duel resulted in shots fired in 1806 where he killed Charles Dickinson. That's good. He was a terrible shot

How far away did he shoot people from those guns suck too? I mean they're shooting people with muskets right and it shot like a marble Yeah, it's, yeah ball of lead Mm-hmm and not very accurate either, and you probably didn't die every time no you take one of those Yeah, I take one in the shoulder especially they're not accurate. Oh, yeah, but a lot of guys are probably crippled from them Oh for sure because it would crack your bone It would like hit the bone and bend it in half and they never knew how to fix bones Yeah, they just have to chop it off, and I'll they probably didn't know how to get the lead out no that's a

good point about lead poisoning deep in there and just stays in there oh yeah oh what you should have the door guys do well first with period type guns you know right they just paintball guns did you ever see that scene in that Mel Gibson movie the Patriot where the guy gets hit in the face with a cannonball? Oh, yeah, yes We're in Napoleon where that horse gets exploded with a cannonball I didn't see Napoleon, but I heard about that the first three minutes is all you have to see really because you see well Yeah, you see a horse take a cannonball on the chest and then the rest of it's just like him simping for someone Oh, yeah, I heard he was they cucked him out. It wasn't the best movie. It was pretty it was like a lush film

What a waste of you Joaquin Phoenix. Yeah, he's the man. Oh that guy's so good He's so he scared the shit out of me and the Joker And then the riots happened like a year later Responsible for this yeah, I want to sidetrack too far But this is saying that duels back then were not exactly what we think they might have been. Oh, yeah? It was more of a test of courage.

It says, people didn't just take 10 steps and shoot as quickly as possible. Most of the time, people would stand and fire their guns in the air, purposely miss their opponent, making a duel more or less a test about courage. However, there are plenty of real-life examples where people would try to kill each other in a duel, for example, Hamilton and Burr.

People involved in duels also chose seconds or people to accompany them to the duel to make sure it was legitimate. Oftentimes, the seconds found themselves acting as peacemakers in a duel, making sure if shots were fired, they weren't fired at other people. So it was a lot of playing chicken, I guess I guess think so making them sling shot each other

Yeah, what the fuck they probably had John wick was like that at the end right then the guy try to get like Spoiler John wick pretended he shot, but he didn't Shot the other guy want to get a replacement or something so John wick wouldn't kill him oh Yeah on the steps of Montmartt and Petty. The last one, you know, as much as I love those guys, the last one was just so cartoony. It's so hard to take seriously. I'm okay with it. You turn your brain off and stare. I love the first one. The first one's the best one. Because the first one, all the motivations are clear. Oh my God, they stole his car and killed his puppy. Let's

go. Let's do it. And then they build this world of like yeah mental and stuff which was cool. There was lore I like those movies are the best. Yeah, you see Furiosa No, what is Furiosa new Mad Max? No, I haven't seen it bro. Is it great to treat yourself? Really? Did you see the first the most recent Mad Max before this? Yes Remember how great it was and yes the theater going movies are the best Yeah, it's that again, but they figured out how to do war for with like with like kites and stuff as well Okay, I'm in the whole movie was storyboarded too, so it looks like a graphic novel. Oh, yeah It's like the best graphic novel. I've ever seen oh no. I haven't heard anything about it. It's so badass dude

Yeah, I think there's too much content today for sure It's very difficult for people. I think there's too much content today. For sure. It's very difficult for people to pay attention to everything. Right. But there's very few movies that are actually something you need to see in the theater. Right. And I think this is one of those things.

I heard Dune II is one of those. Yeah, if you can stay awake. Oh, really? I took so many Edibles, went to Dune II. I didn't make it past the previous, man. I ate all my Reese's Pieces, and then was just zonked, and my wife's punching me in the stomach. Oh, no. that's the worst

Well you get in them comfy chairs like Sinopolis. Yeah, you know the way you lean back and it's got the cup holder there You're like, oh you find yourself snoring. Yeah, and you can vape in there now you have your weed pad Oh really you can vape in there? I mean you can't vape in there, but you can vape in there. Yeah, you can yeah Yeah, I'm just like smoking live rosin and trying to stay alive. Oh, that's a lot of movie theaters Yeah, movie theaters are great, especially for a comedy because it really is like the thing about comedy clubs like last night I went to see kill Tony and you know I like watching shows now more than I ever have before because I don't you don't get a chance to do that when you're performing A lot you watch your friend do a set But I sat watched a show

Yeah, I've done that a bunch lately watch a show and it makes you appreciate it from an audience's perspective Yeah, because I think we get too wrapped up in you like I think it's good to see it the other way to see it As an audience member just like just get a different Perspective on what you're doing up there too, and how it feels to be in the audience. Yeah, just to inform yourself That's valuable. Yeah, and also that shows perfect because you're not worried about like maybe someone's bit worming its way into your brain Right, then you Robin Williams it later. Yeah, you know what I mean? That's why Norton doesn't watch stand-up I can't watch it either really. Yeah, cuz like when you riff a lot when you're I like improvising a lot on stage Uh-huh every now and then you'll tell someone's joke and then it's that moment where you're like

Y'all like ask my feature like is that someone's bit? You know like because you don't want to be that guy right you know yeah that definitely can happen Yeah, you know but the thing is it's like integrity like does it happen on purpose does it just happen if it just happens Maybe you should figure out why. Maybe work on something for your memory, or maybe just don't leap to, the problem is some ideas that you don't steal almost feel stolen.

Because this is the problem with creativity. Because this is the concept of the muse, right? That these ideas are just given to you by the gods. It kind of feels like that sometimes. Like some bits They'll they'll arrive in your mind with a setup and a punchline sacred knowledge. Yeah, there's something going on there I know I don't know what it is I don't I have a bizarre theory that ideas are actually a life form you think that their energy

I don't know what the word energy means like the word energy means electricity But also means diesel engines. You know, it means a lot of things. Like what do you get energy from? You get energy from the sun. It's energy, sure. But I think it makes stuff. Everything you see on this table came from an idea.

It's like ideas get into our minds, and then we make cars, or we make planes, or we make computers. And then ideas, they build on each other. You have to have all these other people's ideas and you pull those ideas together and create a new invention. I think they're a life form.

I think they're a way that they force creative apes to manifest physical things. As if there's like individual particles that might be an idea. There's like an atom that's imbued with an idea yeah or a bit and somehow that gets into you I think the muse is a real thing yeah and I think it's the more time you spend thinking you can kind of hear those calls the more time you spend alone writing and thinking and working on stuff you hear those calls

and those calls like from the ether from wherever the fuck is coming from those make their way onto your page and Then there's real work involved too where you're analyzing it. Okay, how can I make that better? Maybe setups too long? Maybe it's too like maybe I should toss it and just Readdress like I'll do that sometimes where I'll take a premise and it just some of them just feel clunky You know like you're trying to work it out But they don't necessarily feel right and you're getting Kyle laughs But then you're doing it the same way over and over and over again And then that like it's that that wonder that you had when the bit is new dies

You're just repeating something exactly you can see the crowd lose interest in it. Yeah, you're not connected to it So why would they be right so then? lose interest in it. Yeah, you're not connected to it, so why would they be? Right. So then, sometimes with those kind of things, I will just throw it aside and rewrite the joke just on the premise. So instead of using all the setup of the punchline, I'll say, there's got to be another way to address this, this topic. Like, let me see. So that I think is like real work. That's real work where you're thinking and you're analyzing, but the ideas themselves is like the structure of all comedy is an idea. The structure of all comedy is like something comes to you. There's a thought where either you see something as preposterous or you hear something as ridiculous

or you know, there's something. And that's the framework. And then upon that, you build a bit, right? It's like that's the the framing of the house. You have the germ. Yeah, you have to water it It's enough sunlight and then see which soils it grows better in That's why like there's a type of stealing that's like it's a very insidious stealing because they steal premises They'll heal you you'll do a bit about you know, getting your oil changed or something, whatever. Or maybe something more obscure, right? You'll, they'll do a bit about someone buying you fitted socks or whatever the fuck it is.

Yeah. And then someone will, uh, I think I can write something on that, too. Right, I can do it better. I can just kind of just- I'm not stealing the punchline. Exactly. So it's not stealing. I'm just kind of twisting around this person's premise and-

Yeah. Have you ever heard Tom Waits talk about the muse? No, he thinks the muse is like a real thing Like you're talking about it's like a vibe for lack of a better term So there's all these stories about Tom Waits sitting in front of his piano for like 10 hours a day Just screaming being like alright you bitch. I'm here. I'm ready to do the work. Well, I'm in front of the piano Let's go. Give me what I need I'm into the work right now Just like hammering on the piano and yelling at the muse trying to like enchant it and bring it to him as he's like Just like literally making insane discordant noise and then out of nowhere Some chords fit together and then he has a song

Yeah, it's it's just so hard to Right. So hard to know what's going on. Yeah. But you can't write a book unless you're in front of the typewriter. You can't write a song unless you're in front of the keyboard. All these guys are like, how do you write a book? It's like you have to be at the station where you do the work. Yeah. You can't just sit there and be like, oh, man, I'm going to write a book one day.

No sweat over the keys until you have a thousand words or whatever you need for that day to be done Because everyone wants to talk about like oh, I want to write this book And it's like you telling me you want to write a book just set you back six months Yeah, you get the same hit of adrenaline and dopamine by telling someone your idea as actually like accomplishing that thing Yeah, I think that's very dangerous to tell people you're doing stuff when you're not actually doing it I've talked about it too many times, but have you ever read pressfields war of art? No, I have not Oh, we have a copy of it for you then

I love he sent us a box because I used to give it to comics when they would or any kind of creative person when They came on the podcast But pressfield wrote this book and he talks about the muse as if it's a real thing. Yeah, pressfield was Kind of like a ne'er-do-well until he was like 40 Kind of like was like half-assing it until he was 40 and then somewhere along the line He realized that it's just about being a professional and like showing up And so he started addressing the muse as a real thing Yeah, and then he wrote the legend of Bagger Vance and he wrote like some great screenplays and books

And yeah, and just became like very prolific. Well it's like we have we always count on inspiration to come into our lives but if you can kind of like create a situation where that inspiration is more easily available to you whatever that is it's playing your music it's drinking coffee like however you can like try and harness that ethereal thing that is inspiration I think you can be a better creative and like you said become more professional in creating. Yeah There's also different ways that ideas come right? Like one of the things that Stephen King would do a lot of people would do this is they would write and then they would go For a walk. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so while you wrote everything and now let's go for a walk and just think about what you wrote

Right, and he would have a little recorder and he would talk into it. I've heard a bunch of writers say they do this. Yeah, that was a big thing for me when I wrote my book, was to write and then go on a walk and maybe smoke a little weed, and then you see it all differently and you can come back and realize what was bullshit

and what was a complete waste of time, and then go back in and try and address that, and then also grow the things that were like a little idea, but then you can expand upon them, and it's literally just not being in front of the computer. It's your eyes seeing real light, I think, is a big part of it, because I have to write like at my desk, in my computer,

but then as soon as you get outside, you're like, oh, that's how light hits a tree at this time of day, or like that's actually lavender. I was talking about lilac. There's just all these little things that are, I mean, romantic for sure, but also very applicable in concrete ways to your art. Mm.

Yeah. I think it's also getting out makes your blood pump. Oh, for sure. You know, it's walking around. I think there's the thing about walking is, it's a very low level cardio. So like your heart is pumping, you're moving your body, but it's not exertion. So like your heart is pumping, you're moving your body,

but it's not exertion. So you're not, cause like when you're really tired, you can't, like if somebody got you on an air dyne bike and they started asking you questions, you have a moron's brain. You have like 10% of your brain capacity. If you had to do an IQ test, if I had to do an IQ test when I was on a Versa climber,

I would, it's probably 10, my IQ's 10. You know? You I was on a Versa climber, it's probably 10. My IQ's 10. You're as smart as the Versa climber. You can't think. You're fucking tired. So you don't want to be tired when you're thinking things. But you also want to be a little bit energized. And there's something about walking that just sort of,

because the heart is not beating 60 beats a minute, now it might be beating 75 or 80 or just a little extra just a little something So when you're walking around you get that flow going through you. Yeah swimming is good for that too swimming Yeah, you get in the pool and all of a sudden Everything is changed you have a complete different perspective and you're just in there doing your laps or even if you're just like floating Like when I was in Vegas, I had to swim because you can't walk around outside All right, so I just be in the pool. I remember there was this big fat, dude, and he was like hey, man You're putting in the work, man, and I was like thanks, bro And he's like just keep doing it man. This is good for you

And then he got out of the pool and he had a giant swastika that tattoo on his back. Oh my god Yeah, that's a Larry my pool buddy though. He was he was encouraging me. Maybe did time. I think so he's trying to survive They probably did that to him while they're fucking him. It's not all that it wasn't just his thighs He wasn't receiving platonic knowledge. Yeah, they're not being nice to you. Yeah, and they fuck you in jail I don't think so especially when they put a swastika on your back. Maybe that helped them come like we make it quicker If I can just put a swastika on your back It's hard to come bro, You got a big stupid hairy ass But if I could put a swastika on your back, I think I'd just nut immediately. Give me a target man

Yeah, maybe you like me to deal with them. Okay. All right sure. Okay. That's really what's gonna help make this quicker He was good in the water He was like a seal. He's probably so happy to be in the water. He never had water in jail. You can't get fucked in the ass in water. True. Very hard. Especially in deep water. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, good luck. Like there's that... How could you be hard? What was that like, that boat during I think the Pacific Theater of World War II that like, they sank it and then they were in these shark- infested waters and they just kept getting picked off Like you'd be floating with your buddy and then all of a sudden he would just disappear forever Well, I heard on a podcast that also there was a feverish homosexuality

so dudes would be like on a plank of wood and Just savage each other because they're like, yeah, and I don't remember why it was but there was all these accounts of like dudes, but fucking Raping each other on these like little planks of wood while other people were like bleeding out in the water and like their flesh is Coming off from salt water and shit. Yeah, I think I heard that on last podcast on the left See if you could find anything on that Before you finish talking. Oh, yeah, he's got a lot of butt fucking windows open over there Butt-fucking while getting eaten by sharks. Yeah Wow, which one's worse I guess if you were in that sort of scenario and especially for long periods of time your mind

Just must be so overwhelmed with anxiety and fear and then acceptance and then overwhelmed with anxiety and fear and then acceptance and then Sadness you're watching people around you getting killed. Yeah, the the morbid fucking the tissue floating in the water Whatever is left of your friends and also like if someone's bleeding you get as far away from them as possible Because the sharks are gonna eat them. Oh, it's probably just your brain trying to protect yourself So it just reverts back to like you're very simian part of yourself Which is like hold someone down overpower them welcome and get it out of raft yeah, and all the other people they're gonna die, too Yeah, we watched you fuck Harry. Why'd you do that Harry said stop and you kept going hey? Why I? Thought we're all gonna die. Yeah, I didn't think anyone would be able to tell this story. Sorry, bro

1940s meanwhile made it to a podcast. Yeah, 2024 Wow, we're not naming names. No, I don't know. I would gladly if I would if I knew them Yeah, where's their plaque? About the guy who got butt-fucked Watch all his friends get eaten by sharks. He also got butt-fucked a purple heart and a purple sleeve And he's like don't know did you watch all his friends get eaten by sharks he also got butt fuck got a purple heart and a purple Sleeve he's like don't worry about it. We're all gonna be dead our to take me and then they get rescued They're just doing swastikas on it Rescued that guy who we butt fuck hey

What about what happened on the fucking raft dude? Yeah, sorry man lost my mind LA Times I think this catch the ear but there you go okay as the Indianapolis sailors struggled in the water there was bravery and self-sacrifice all vividly detailed by Vincent and Vladek there was also violence cannibalism and even sexual attacks in the water the dead outnumbered the living men continued to expire so quickly it became almost impossible to move around without having to shoulder through shoals of corpses Holy fuck and then the sharks one moment They behaved like gentle and curious giants moving up close to inspect the men with black unblinking eyes the next moment

They attacked their steel trap jaws snuffing out a man's life before we could draw a breath to scream Making you pop up. I'm not interested you fucks What so the sexual attacks That's it just a mere mention you think the LA Times would want to get involved in the more lurid details Yeah, so a subscription you guys need to sell some subscriptions. Yeah, yeah, they apparently just let a bunch people go I would no want to be a fucking reporter right now. No, but there's good journalism going on Oh, yeah, yeah, most of its independent that Whitney Webb character. She's a character. She's cool. Yeah that lady knows a lot Mm-hmm, I don't know how she knows it all but god. I'd be afraid if I were her oh

Yeah, they're gonna disappear. I think she lives in another country, doesn't she? I think so. Yeah, I watched her on a bunch of shows. I watched her on Patrick, Bette, David. I watched her on, I think she was on Jimmy Dore Show a few times. She knows a lot. I think Tim's got a direct line to her. That's a wild thing to be focusing on,

the evil oligarchs and people in power of the world and how they've twisted everything Yeah, throughout history like you make yourself a real target the bloodlines. Oh, yeah all that shit Yeah, the bloodline stuff is wild it is that's really wild Tim like called her when we were in Europe I was opening for him in April over there And he really wanted to go to st. Petersburg Russia to eat a meal at gogo Which is like the best restaurant in the world allegedly. Oh really? So he called her, he called Tucker Carlson,

like trying to figure out how to get into Russia. He even went to the State Department and they were like, no. And he was like, I'll be there for three hours. Come on, let us eat dinner. We'll be fine. You can watch us the whole time. It'll be good.

They might snatch him up. I think he'd be compromised. And then I'd be the other guy. Yeah. They just think I was a fat prostitute Tim Dillon and his cumboy arrested in st. Petersburg Tim would be so embarrassed That's hilarious

That's hilarious. Yeah, he's a wild boy. He would want to go to Russia to eat. That's so crazy And hey, I was all for it dude. I was like, yeah, let's go. Yeah, you can't go over there. No. No. We just signed a 10-year contract to supply them with weapons. To supply Ukraine with weapons for the next 10 years. Yeah. I think this whole thing is...

It's terrifying to watch, but it's also a very clear money grab. Yeah. There's so much money going over there, and's so much money. We continue to send and it's just like How is this okay with everybody? How is anybody letting this happen? Yeah? I mean the taxpayers are really holding the bag on it to you know Dave Smith had a wild suggestion What was that? He's on he those. He is. He was doing a debate about Russia and Ukraine and he said one of the ways to incentivize Russia to stop attacking Ukraine is if we left NATO. Whoa. Not only should we say that Ukraine is not

going to join NATO but we're gonna leave NATO. I was like whoa. What would be the repercussions of that though? Who fucking knows? We would just be a well look at the repercussions of being a part of it. Look at the repercussions of what's going on right now because you know Dave is the best at explaining and he'll credit Scott Horton and a lot of other people but Dave is really good at recalling information explaining how the whole red line with Putin was Ukraine joining NATO. They always knew that.

And they kept moving NATO-based countries. They kept moving weapons closer and closer to Russia. The whole thing was like they're baiting him to do this. I just get so suspicious of military activity because I know that there's always going to be bad people in the world that you have to send good people to go fight. That's always going to be the case, right? The clearest, most pure version of that for us is always World War II. The Nazis, we go over there and kill the Nazis. The whole whole United States, you know gets together and then when it's over There's that sailor kissing that girl, right? You know any and it's like hey, this is why people sacrifice Yeah, this is why this America is so amazing this country

But that's not real. That's only one exam most of the time It's people figuring out a way to get defense contracts or there's some cool resources that just so happen to be right there. It just happens to be a lot of lithium in the air. Yeah, it's very convenient that they need democracy right now. Yeah, and the same people that are telling you that Joe Biden's fine, that's how things get done. Like that is, whether or not Joe Biden

should be president or not president, let's put that aside for a second, folks. Everybody knows there's something wrong, right? The people that are telling you there's not something wrong, the reason why they think they can do that is they do that with everything. They do that with Venezuela, they do that with Yemen, they do that with Ukraine, they do that with everything.

They bullshit and gaslight, depending on what the narrative is. They're very creative with what facts. And the facts change over time. And they're not really, sometimes they don't even know. Like one of the more interesting exchanges about the Ukraine war was with, of all people, Candace Owens. So Candace Owens was talking about how corrupt Ukraine was.

So someone sends her a message from the New York Times, what evidence do you have that Ukraine is corrupt? And she said, your own fucking newspaper. And she sends them all these articles that were written previous to 2017 about rampant corruption in Ukraine, about Ukraine is like one of the most corrupt countries. For the narrative changed. corrupt countries for the narrative changed Yeah, yeah narrative changed and now it's a never has a Ukraine flag. Yeah, but yeah Ukraine should not have been invaded Yeah, it's all fucked up. It's horrible hundreds of thousands of Ukrainians. They don't even know what the real numbers are probably dead

Yeah, horrible, but also that was a corrupt country like just because Horrible things are done to them. It's not justifying those horrible things Yeah But you can't pretend that ukraine has always been this amazing country just because now we're supposed to support them Because russia did a horrible thing you got to tell the fucking truth. That's what being a journalist is We're not babies, but they treat us like babies. Oh my god. They coddle us so much Oh, it's so it. Well, the whole thing during the pandemic, you can't tell people about other things

or about adverse reactions to vaccines, because then it causes vaccine hesitancy. Oh, you mean an informed opinion? Are you fucking trying to stop informed opinions? And a lot of them from like professors at Stanford and Harvard releases bananas. Right. And then there's like it's condescending. Exactly. you're talking down to these people that you're trying to get onto your side there's a lot of them if they're smart will be like come on I'm not a baby

yeah it's it's a fucking annoying and the the the people that are doing it right now about Biden they're telling you how you should vote even though you know he's impaired you definitely shouldn't vote for Trump like don, don't tell people that, you fucking idiot, because it's going to make more people angry and want to vote for Trump. It's indefensible. You are not going to convince anyone walking down the west side of New York City, talking into your phone about what a threat Trump is to democracy. You aren't changing anybody's fucking vote.

You're just being a condescending, scolding, liberal cunt, which is what drives everyone crazy. Scolding for verbiage is like the worst thing that the liberal side does. Ugh, but the fucking conservatives used to do it too. It's a human characteristic, and this is what's important. Everybody wants to get on this. The liberals are bad, the conservatives are bad. It's bullshit.

It's all just a human behavior pattern. We always want to tell people that they should behave and think and accept the truths that we have accepted They you have to behave like us and if you don't you're the enemy right and it's not really that these people have these opinions Oftentimes it's that they have subscribed to a predetermined set of's a narrative in order to be in this group There's a party line If you tell me how you feel about the Second Amendment, I can tell you how you feel about abortion Almost 80% of the time Right

Which is wild Mm-hmm It's wild Oh yeah Because there are two very complicated issues Right If you tell me how you feel about immigration, you know, if you tell me how you feel about weapons, military spending I can tell, I could probably tell how you feel about weapons, military spending. I can probably tell how you feel about God.

Yeah. I can probably tell you what your religious leanings are. It's just bizarre. And it's just because the reality of life is too open-ended and complex and fascinating and bizarre and majestic and immense. And boundless. Boundless.

Yeah, yeah. Immense. And more immense than we even thought it was now. They're looking into the James Webb telescope They're finding galaxies that are so big so long ago that they couldn't have existed Possibly in a short amount of time which they were from the Big Bang So that now they're starting to think that the universe is like maybe 10 billion years older than they thought it was which is good Yeah, but it's like what does that even mean? It's too much. There's like division is really important to people in power because they keep us fighting

each other instead of against the presidency or the government. So back in the day it was like racism and there's still racism in this country but like we're moving further, you know, and then it was like class conflict but now it's like everyone's poor. You know yes, so now It's like straight-up Republicans versus Democrats, and you have to go to war with your neighbor over that thing Yeah, it's like they're all the same they work for the same corporations the same oligarchs are paying them off exactly I mean if voting works. They wouldn't let us vote. Yeah, you know like it's not going to change anything Yeah, it's it works kinda kind of but I mean it's still a big experiment. Democracy is flawed, but it's still the best thing that we have, you know. It's the best

thing going, but the problem is we made a fatal flaw when we allowed them to use money. Oh yeah. That's the fatal flaw. The fatal flaw is letting politics and the money and lobbyists and special interest groups and corporations donate to political candidates. As soon as we did that, that should be illegal. We should think of it as a bribe. Yeah, it is a bribe. It is a bribe. 100% a bribe. Especially in this day and age, everything should be supported 100% by the people for the people. That's only how it should be. And if we find out that corporations are involved or the corporations are even Suggesting that people should be involved that we should like find them. It should be illegal They should be put the people that want to do it should be put in jail You're trying to affect the election. Yeah, like it's really election interference should be illegal. Yeah instead

It's like par for the course right? Yeah corruption is a tactic. I Was funny cuz like I used to live in an anarchist commune in upstate, New York Yeah, when I was like from like 18 to 22 How did you get involved in that my best friend from high school? Moved to Ithaca to go to college and we were in bands together. So I was like I College sucked, you know So I went to school in Denver and then I went out there to stay with him And we like wrote like 12 songs over like two weeks, and then I was like well. I'm not gonna stay in school

I'm gonna move up here, so we got this place. We shared a closet in an anarchist commune called Goblin House And like when we moved in this dude named Bob wolf young to he had the number two in his last name Yeah, he like changed his name His name was Bob wolf was his first name and then young like JUNG to Great guy, but I remember when he showed us the room He was like this is where you will sleep and I just wanted to know are you guys up to group sex? No, dude, we just want to like have the practice space. We would we had this like we it was an abattoir It was an old slaughterhouse

So we were living with these people that were like, they would like sign their rent checks in blood. We were like dumpstering everything. I like learned to kill chickens and stuff. But on the commune, like those people have the almost the exact same tenants and ideals as the, you know, your preppers, your doomsday guys who want to like build a compound and protect themselves against the government. Like they're like back to back. If they would just turn around the far left and the far right, they'd realize that like they're fighting for the same thing.

Yes. You know, they share so many similar behavior patterns. Yeah, that's what it is. It's like the opinion. It's like we're talking about jokes. The jokes are like a scaffolding, like the ideas of scaffolding and the jokes you create around them. You create the punch lines and the tag lines around the idea.

That's what these guys are doing. It's the same thing. They have human behavior patterns and then they attach to it equity and inclusion and all these different thoughts about Christian nationalism and protect our borders and God save Trump it's the same thing yeah it's really the same thing like what it is is just like you've attached natural human behavior patterns to an ideology and you don't think it's enough because this is the thing about cults nobody in a cult thinks they're in a cult

no they're like this is the way to live this is the way to live yeah they're seeing through the veil in that cult they're the only ones who are living in justified light. Did I tell you the cult story about the place that I initially bought before we bought the Ritz? I think I heard trickles of this story, but not directly from you. Adam Egan is the one who saved me. This is what happened.

So Ron White fucked me. So Ron White, we had just gotten here and we realized, I was like, we need a place. We cannot be out here just doing a bunch of random clubs. The thing about the Comedy Store that I recognized very early on is it's home base. And the comics need a home base. And the way everybody was developing,

one of the things that helped us is like, if I'm on the road, I don't get to see Bill Burr's hour no I'm on the road he's on the road somewhere else right I don't get to see Dave Chappelle but when we're in town together then we could all see each other sets right so we would all like like and then hang together and talk and so I was like all right we need a spot and so Ron goes you should buy that place to cult owned I fucking performed there I killed it was beautiful it's beautiful theater I think it's for sale. I was like wow a theater that a cult owned that'll be fun

Yeah, and then Adam calls me up after already signed paperwork and everything Adam calls. Hey, man. Did you watch? The documentary on that cult. I'm like yeah, we're documenting It's bad the documentary is called holy hell and documentary. That's not good. No, it's bad. The documentary is called Holy Hell and the guy who was the cult member, the cult leader, was a gay porn star who was also a hypnotist. Oh, those are two of the worst things you can be. This fucking guy, he changed his names multiple times. His original name was Jaime Gomez. He was actually an extra in Rosanne's baby or rosemary's baby all right the he was like in one of the scenes in the end of rosemary's baby, so he's an actor and and so

Did gay porn and then he teaches yoga class and gets a button because he like he's a beautiful man Yeah, like a six-pack and sculpted face. I'd be hot to run a call. He was hot as hell yeah and like a six-pack and sculpted face and be hot to run a call he was hot as hell and Just had this cult going for a long time in West Hollywood But then wake go popped off so then the cult awareness network had been getting Like parents would be saying where the fuck is my kid and they would be in this cult and so like people were starting to like Investigate him. Yeah, so to throw people off the track this fucking guy moves to Austin changes his name again And then has his followers build him this beautiful theater where he could dance in front of them Just for dance and hypnotism, and that's the place I bought

So it all falls apart it all falls apart years later when one guy sends out a mass email saying hey This guy's been hypnotizing me and butt fucking me for the past 10 years And then everybody starts comparing notes and they're like oh my god He's fucking me too and like this guy was just paying they had you have to pay him so but fuck you Oh, yeah, the privilege for the privilege Yeah, so he would you'd come to him for therapy you have to give him $50 And then he would give you his therapy And then he fuck you I

Mean maybe he has a maybe he knows some stuff. We don't know maybe he was helping people so no no I think people are just I'm an optimist I think human beings have a thing in us that makes us want to believe nonsense Yeah, and we're looking for some kind of solution to the chaos that we're surrounded by. Exactly. And that could manifest itself in you being a die-hard Democrat that don't think there's anything wrong with Joe Biden.

And Joe Biden's, his age is his strength. He's sundowning up there. His fucking wife was on TV talking about his performance and she was saying that he's sharp as a dack. No, no, no, no. Have you shouldn't you see have you seen it? And he's just standing behind her like a wax figure you did so good Joe you answered every question He's like me if I was on a That's where he's at right now, that's just that's him leading the country

Bliterated but believing that that guy's okay is the same thing as believing that this gay porn star who's a hypnotist It's really like you know it's really wild about the documentary He had this thing that he would do to them called the knowing. And you had to earn it somehow. You had to be on the right path for long enough. And he would give you this thing where he would, it was a ritual. And during the ritual, he would put his hands on you.

And to this day, the people that had it, even the people that complained about him were in the documentary talking about this guy's just evil and manipulative They said that in that moment they felt God That they and his hands were upon his hand. He's really intensely these intense burning eyes He puts his hands on there on their knees and they're like, ah So it's like you there was an endogenous release of psychedelic chemicals that was Through this this moment this ritual thing this the power of suggestion

And whatever the the vibe that the two of them have clearly hipness hypnosis as well Yeah, he locks on to this person and these people like just writhing in like in orgasms and in just ecstasy just like And to this day they're all taught even though they're saying he was bullshit They were like that moment when that happened to me it changed me forever Wow so he could like Somehow make them release like the DMT or the oxytocin that's in their brains, and they were flooded Yeah, all that all that anymore probably I mean we're isolating specific things like you know Dopamine serotonin DMT. There's all these different things that people are but I have a feeling the real cocktail What's really up is everything all together. Yeah, that's what that's probably the real like whatever it is that you have when you have near-death

Experiences they're all the most potent psychedelic chemicals known to man that your brain makes just a long Island I see a brain chemicals boom your brains afloat in it Yeah, and it's a fucking fourth of July fireworks display inside of there Yeah And it just pops off and this guy knew how to get people to experience it just from This thing see if you can find video of him doing that I envy those I am I do a little to feel something that transcent on earth If you could just like believe it enough that this guy can just do that to you I don't believe in anything

I believe in like me and my friends and my family and like the community that I can build But like it's really hard to have any faith in anything bigger than myself Well, you have to have an open mind, right? But you also can't think I do you can't really believe anything There's no evidence for like a lot of my ideas about what the how the universe Works and how everything works and karma and life and energy is just an idea. Do you believe in karma? I don't know what it means, so I don't think that necessarily Like if you do something something something will happen to you

Yeah, but I do think that if you do something evil You're aware that you do something evil, and I think your existence is poisoned because because of that and I think you will forever Run into bad situations because you'll be filled with bad thoughts and bad energy And you take on like a psychic cancer yeah, yeah, yeah tracks other yes. I think that's real I don't think altruism is real at all. I think there's some real altruism and it's usually between people that know each other. Yeah, but okay. Kindness and generosity. But is that altruism or is that just doing the right thing for your community? Well, it is, I always say that being generous is selfish. It is because it makes you feel good. It makes you feel good. It elevates

you. But it also is really a good thing to do because it makes other people feel really good. If there's no altruism it's okay if you're still doing the right thing. If you get off on it you still benefited someone else. You do but why should you not benefit while they're benefiting too? As long as you're not being selfish and narcissistic about it. Why don't you just do it? Yeah of course it feels good to make people feel good. Yeah. It also makes them feel good. So you should do it. You should not not make them feel good because you're worried it's gonna make you feel good and that's selfish. Yeah, that seems silly. Well, you have to share what you have based on how much you have.

I feel like when I was poor it was like my friends, my best friends, would have like half a joint and they would smoke that half a joint with me. Yeah. And now that I have like more resources compared to some of my friends, I'm always buying meals and like, you know, that kind of thing. And they're like, hey man, you don't have to do this. And it's like, well, you rode with me when we had $8 to rub together.

Yeah. And now I have more than $8. So like, I'm glad to be able to do this for you. Yeah, the difference between like being able to pay for a meal, easy. Yeah. And not thinking about it in the, where you're wondering how much things cost and you're adding it all up in your head.

That's a huge difference. The alleviation of that is the most important thing. Brian Callan said that to me once. He said the real wealth is like when you go to a restaurant and you don't worry about what anything costs. 100%. Once you get past that, he goes like, it's all bullshit. And I'm like, I think he's right.

That is very profound Yeah, cuz like with that no matter where you live your house just feels like your house If you have to spend ten million dollars for a house or if you just have a fucking two-bedroom apartment That's quiet and not dangerous. You know, it's just house. It's home. I have a hard time feeling at home anywhere Cuz the road Yeah, I mean I've been on the road since I was with the band first and then stand up real hard and now like Like the last six months of last year my wife and I didn't have an address We were just like living on the road and it was romantic. Wow, but it was

So daunting dude. I remember my sister was like, what do you want to do for New Year's? And I was like what if we just got like an Airbnb and like cook dinner and hung out and she's like I'll see your idea of a party is like living in a home. You need to fucking move somewhere man We like tried it, you know We did two months abroad last year doing shows and shit and he she came with me and it was great But now we like bought a house in Detroit and I'm really happy about it But I don't ever know if I'll like really feel comfortable when I'm not in motion Mmm, that's interesting. It's like it's good every all my dreams are coming true

But then you have to realize like who you are isn't gonna be fixed by everything you wanted happening, right? You still have to like figure out what's the root cause of you? You know it's Wednesday, and you're like I've been home for two days god. I can't wait to get to fucking Batavia Yeah But isn't it because you'd love what you do and you're like I've been home for two days god. I can't wait to get to fucking Batavia. Yeah But isn't it because you'd love what you do. I do good at what you do. I really get it. I do yeah I'm super grateful to be a comic there's that right yeah And that's like the way to do that is like you kind of got to do the road I think so

And like for a long time it was like I couldn't get booked in these rooms But now I can so it's like Mitch H couldn't get booked in these rooms, but now I can. So it's like Mitch Hedberg said, he wouldn't say no to gigs because he remembers five years previous when he couldn't get those gigs. And that's me right now. It's like I worked like fucking 49 weekends

last year or something. Wow. And some of those, a lot of those were like different continents and shit. Wow. But I love it. I'm not complaining. I'm just like, this is a new thing

with the buying of the home and the moving to the home of me being like What does being at peace look like for me? Right because I'm used to existing in chaos. You know I'm used to being constantly going forward and and you enjoy it I love it dude. Yeah, that's there's nothing wrong with that nothing wrong with that So the thing is like people will tell you because of a narrative like a from a movie or a book that you're supposed to settle down somewhere yeah says who listen there's a reason why there's flights and hotels because people like to travel places right stay and they

don't have a house there yeah so they go to the fucking hotel yeah it's simple like it's there set up for you And if you take advantage of it, it's fun It's that's what you enjoy some people don't enjoy it at all Some people like to the problem is the real problem with the travel all the time is your health Because it fucks up your sleeping fucks up your eating schedule It fucks up it fucks up a lot of stuff And then there's a sense of loneliness and desolation on the road that you try to fill in

With booze or drugs or and last you travel with friends, and I do now I gotta bring my own feature. That's the best and he hasn't drank for eight years. I pump the brakes on Boozing you know I'm like drinking with purpose now when I do drink not just like 15 minutes every night I drink with purpose. Yeah, it's like purposes to get fucked up. Well. I know what I And that's a valuable purpose But when you're just doing the Friday early show and you've already had seven beers And then you wake up Saturday and you're like hungover and you're like, I guess I have to have 12 more beers tonight to get normal You're not even getting drunk. You're drinking Miller Lite and you're just confused and bloated right? That's all you get out of it

Well, you lost a lot of weight. I did yeah I'm like 50 pounds this year. That's awesome. Yeah. Congratulations. Thanks man. That's fucking huge. I have to. And you just do that by hitting the breaks. Please stay alive. I love being alive. We need more funny people. Thanks man. Are you just hitting the breaks on booze? That's all you had to do? Hitting the breaks on booze. Well that's 1,500 calories in pure sugar that I'm not taking in every four days out of the week. So that's great. And then also eating better and then movement, moving around. Spend a lot of time outside.

And now that we're actually gonna be in a home, the weight sets going back in. There's a pool in the neighborhood. Because for so long it was like I had nothing and I was just so desperate for some, I can I'm sleeping on this guy's floor tonight in Springfield Missouri I would go on stage and be like hey I don't have a place to stay because I didn't want to spend the $40 on a hotel dude Wow you know so you'd be telling people can I stay at your house I

wouldn't even ask I would just say on stage like you look rich can I stay in the boathouse and they'd be like All right, get in here. You crazy kid. That's amazing Yeah, and it's how I survived on the road for like ever Wow. So how many times you think you did that countless? That was my move It was straight up my move. Hey, you stayed in people's houses Yeah, cuz I learned it from like punk rock like we would play only all ages shows so you would either stay in the venue you'd stay in the squat or someone would bring you home and like you'd hear them have a conversation with their girlfriend in the next room And then she'd be like loud and he'd be she's gotta be up by 6 a.m

But we had a roof over our head well Then you had the next day and that sense of purpose that you have on the road is so pure you have a destination That night you have a thing you need to accomplish. Right, right, right. And like luckily, I read that because I came from like, like I really admired like SST records like early 80s like hardcore. Like that's where I came from. And I remember reading, I think it was Henry Rollins book, Get in the Van, where the first trip he did with Black Flag, they practiced for like two months in LA and they got real good when he joined the band and then their first

Tour date was in Oklahoma and like 12 kids came and he was like fuck this Why are we working so hard this sucks and then the bass player Chuck Dukowski was like no no no It's not their fault that no one else showed up We're gonna give them black flag they came to see black flag We're giving them black flag and that defined my experience doing stand-up where it's like yeah, I would go do the show There'd be 20 people there But the next time I go to Omaha there's gonna be 40 people there cuz I fucking left it all on the field, right? I was crushing just so I could survive where I was a survival mechanism

Right, and I think that that really helped me in my career because I had so much at stake every show. Yeah, it's an interesting thing. If you go to a show and there's only 100 people and it's a 300 seat venue, you're upset that only 100 people... But that's 100 people that paid money to came out to see you. Treat them. Treat them like you're so happy they're there. Appreciate them. God, we're so caught up in keeping up with the Joneses. It's so dumb

It's like that that's another like dumb human resource based instinct comparison. Yeah, it's the worst happiness. Yeah Yeah, it's great quote. Yeah, is that this throw thing is throw. Yeah. Yeah, isn't it? Probably he's always saying cool stuff. He said a lot of cool shit out in that pond. But it's like you can't compare yourself to your friends. No. Like if I compared myself to Shane, I would be like, crestfallen. What I am is happy for Shane,

and his rise is so good for comedy in general, and he's been so generous, you know? He put my special on his channel, like he doesn't have to do any of these things. Right. And I told Shane that he's inherently punk rock, and he rolled his eyes You know because he's from the middle of Pennsylvania and punk rocks for homos or whatever

But I was like that guy with the queer exactly yeah that guy's punk rock, but so is Shane's ethos He brought his friends with him. He built this stuff. He did everything independently this twain Nice no way really wonder. He stole it from interesting Okay Nice. No way really. Wonder who he stole it from. Interesting. Okay Comparison is the thief of joy. Yeah, thief's a better word. The death of joy. Roosevelt said thief of joy But who was first? I don't know. Who was before? When was Roosevelt? Roosevelt was post-Twayne. Yeah, yeah, so you probably heard it from

Twayne and snatched it a la Joe Biden. Have you ever heard what Twayne did for Ulysses S. Grant? No. So like Grant's the president, but everyone thinks he's this like insane booze bag because he got busted being drunk one time on watch. So he becomes president, leaves the Union Army, but then the money wears out. So he's like on a train, Ulysses S. Grant, and fucking, oh, and his brother like spent all of his money, his son was a total fuck up, like he has no cash. And this guy's like, hey, would you write your memoir and I'll publish it for my publishing company,

and I'll give you like a thousand bucks. And Ulysses S. Grant's like, for sure, that's awesome. And then Twain hears this and he's like, don't sign that deal, I'll publish your book myself and you'll make so much more money like and Ulysses S Grant was like but I made a promise to a man and I am a man and I must honor my word and Twain's like okay pump the brakes on that Ulysses. So he publishes Ulysses S. Grant's book and it becomes a national bestseller and changed his life and gave him all this money. Oh wow yeah

They would have sold him down the river. They would have given him a thousand bucks to have a best-selling novel Wow You know or not novel. That's right. I had heard about that. Yeah. Yeah, Mark Twain was I think he was the first comic I agree yeah, right So he would read funny things in front of people and they would laugh and he had to cuz he didn't have any money Yeah, it's like when Jeremy Piven hits the road So when twain did that he didn't have money back then like was he? Well publishing deal. He was the first like dude who? Harnessed the reins of his own production and like writing

I think Dickens did that to a certain degree too, but he owned the publishing and he would like sell it himself Then he hit the road I can't remember why but I think it was a cash grab and he did these public speaking engagements Where he would do bits and stuff no kidding I think so Oh, I could be conflating him and someone else, but I think that that kind of makes sense Yeah, that kind of makes sense you'd say like oh, how can I make some money here? Do tours like you're seeing a lot of podcasters do that now like sure like Tucker Carlson does that now? He does like arenas Jordan Peterson, of course. Yeah

These people they do these tours where they just like oh look gotta make hay by the sunshine And I get it you got to cash in a momentum when you have the hardest thing to accrue I get it too, especially if you don't have jokes Oh, dude, we're just used to doing stuff in front of audiences these guys they look at look at that It's like some frontier that they have to yeah, and we're like, oh we have fucking tents out. We've been living out here for a hundred years. Oh, yeah, we're better ones, man You want some fucking camel milk? Sam tell I can't even feel comfortable at his own house Yeah, because I'm just so used to being like what are we doing today?

What's our purpose the people that haven't experienced that before like Jordan like it was telling me how much it wears on you Yeah, like yeah, yeah, it wears on you It wears on you when you fly like I just flew from Vegas on Sunday morning. It wears on you that day You're like wrecked for no reason. Yeah, and also I have a hard time like spending the money to move up front You know, right like I spent six hundred dollars once to fly back from Australia in the first in first class And it was an insane deal. And my wife was like, do it, dude. And then the whole time I was sitting up there,

I was just pissed at myself for being such a bourgeois pig that needed to be comfortable. That's gonna be a problem as you become more successful. I know. That'll be an issue. I know. Yeah, there's a lot of, one thing that definitely happens

is people develop this sort of crisis, the imposteroster syndrome sort of thing that happens when you become famous and when you become successful I don't have imposter syndrome. I know I'm good at the job Yeah, I have is like turning your back on your ideals of like punk rock like yeah dumpsters that thing's hard for me to get Over right and I see what you're saying well I know a lot of people that get the imposter syndrome thing too because when success comes at a very high level It becomes baffling like you're hanging out with famous people. It doesn't make sense. It feels weird It's so weird to be in this room I mean, it's so strange to me dude like I'm really grateful to be here, but it is just like also weird to

Remember how far away from this room. I was for such a long time. That's funny Yeah, well this room's been around Well, not this one, but one of them been around for 15 years. Yes, that's crazy, too That's hard to believe we have perspective is such a warping experience Yeah, really is far you've come as you get more successful. You're gonna get weird with money. It's gonna feel weird to you It's not what you make. It's what you save yeah, but it's like what do you do with it? Like I think of money as fun coupons sure That's how I think of it. Yeah, how much fun can I have with this?

I think of it as safety it can be taken away at any war that's up to a point once you pass a certain Bank account number yeah, it becomes fun coupons. I remember when I had my first comma in my bank account I called my dad nice. Yeah, I got a comma dad. Yeah, dude. Yeah commas are nice, but it's like The thing is you're still gonna be you yeah You're not gonna you don't have to sleep in the back of the bus, and you don't have to fucking You don't have to do anything stupid to just prove that you used to be poor. You don't have to self-flagellate yourself Yeah, but it's also like you have all these fun coupons. Why do you have them if you're not gonna spend them? Oh, yeah, be spending them. Oh, I mean I'm burning them down. Did you get a nice car? No, I have a 2007 Chevy Impala

I don't have a bunch of like, you know cool jewelry thought you're a nice watch. It's my wife got this for me It's $400. It's beautiful. It's a great watch. What kind of watch is that? It's a bull of a oh, it's pretty But I do spend money on dining and I do spend money on like, you know if my sister-in-law, you know, once something nice for our niece I'm like, well, here's three different models of that nice thing you want. Oh, that's like how I like shower people with that's great Love and affection. No, that's definitely cool. But I did spend like we should get a nice car $50,000 on dining You didn't feel like a bourgeois pig. Yeah, I'm in a car. What kind of car would you drive? I would like a bourgeois pig driving a car what kind of car would you drive I would like a very safe car you know what I want dude is I want a Ford Astro van or I want one of those like Benz's those like passenger vans that they have oh yeah

like skateboard teams right around yeah you could have that and put a podcast studio in the back no I could we were gonna do that yeah we had talked about that in LA remember Jamie, we talked about taking one Yes, plus you can take naps in there too like if you have to park somewhere like to be somewhere for a little bit You have some time Happen the back. I wish I could nap. No, really. I have a really hard time napping really Yeah, it's like I can't turn my brain off in the middle of the day. Wow. Yeah, it sucks That sucks really bad for radio exactly that. Oh, so once you're up you're up for the whole day Yeah, oh, I know and then there's just an amount of coffee you have to drink off. I've dabbled

Yeah, that's usually the best turns out. It's like a sleep button It is pretty cool, but I do like like to conserve that essence for my wife. I hear you I like to save all your loads. I save every load man. Okay. I come home and I battered my beautiful life. That's honorable. Yeah Nothing else you try melatonin or anything else sleep mask anything It's just like laying in a bed in the middle of the day. You can't shut your brain. I can't do it, dude Yeah, well fuck fuck radio. I guess no I know That's the only solution the only solution is fuck radio I mean and I like had to be like medical with my like managers

I was like I really can't do radio because I can't go back to bed And then people will come out for two shows and they'll get a worse version of the show that right you know yeah It's a big difference to man when you're really tired, and you look at that 10 o'clock show You're like fuck you already did the 7 o'clock show You're taking a break line, and you're sitting down, and you're fucking really tired like you're literally yawning Yeah, and then ladies and gentlemen welcome to the chuckle. Hi, right who's ready to laugh? Come on you can do better than that right who's ready to laugh And due to like the different groups of like the Venn diagrams that create the people who come to see me or like Stan

Hope Shane kill Tony yeah, so these people have very high Expectations right comedy right so I always feel like I really got to do a good job That's the best way to feel always forever for sure keep that forever. I get nervous for every show every show I do even now do yeah Easier once they were coming to see you nope no worse harder expectation. Yeah harder. Yeah, yeah, you gotta keep that That's forever. Yeah, I hope I keep that forever That's the same thing with a lot of stuff when when you care about something you should be nervous You should feel a little giddy about it a little excited like

Not not without confidence. I have confidence. I do stand up every night. I have plenty of confidence Not without confidence. I have confidence. I do stand up every night. I have plenty of confidence But the feeling should be like this is a real thing It's about to go down This is a melding of the minds with me and all these people in this crowd and this is gonna be fun Yeah, I gotta get in that mindset. I gotta feel it. I got a how much time do I have a 15 minutes, right? To try a posture. Yeah, I do some deep breathing exercises. I stretch out I drink some water. Maybe have an espresso. Yeah, let's fucking go Yeah, yeah, and literally got this tattoo to remind myself that it's fun. It says this is fun. Oh, that's my miking hand So I'd like to see my wrist and it reminds me while I'm on stage. That's great. That's great

That should be a thing that everybody in your group does Should make it like a brand like a Nazi swastika on the back so we can all come quick Why you jerking off the same hand do right that's fun, too My well my podcast chubby behemoth we all got matching tattoos for like a patreon goal Would you guys get just like this like ninja ninja turtle on our thighs this guy Baco That's like the avenging ninja turtle that we ripped Yeah, so like now we are all marked forever nice. Yeah, why not? It's fun, dude. There's no such thing as forever I have a go bananas tattoo with all the go bananas boys right here on my wrist

Oh go bananas the in Cincinnati Club. Yeah, that's hilarious. Yeah, there's a bunch of those go bananas I think there's one in New Jersey, too. There's Bananas in New Jersey. Oh, right. Go Bananas is completely independent. Well, yeah, they came up with that idea on their own. We didn't even know about Bananas when we opened up Go Bananas.

Yeah, no way. What are you talking about? Yeah. Oh, that's funny. I thought they were all the same company. No, I don't think so. So you have a Go Bananas tattoo? Yeah, right there.

Just the banana? Just the banana in the Banana Boys. I wonder if anybody's got a mothership tattoo yet probably the logo the alien head dude people get tattoos of you Yeah, people get tattoos of my book. Yeah, they'll get like running the light shit on their body And I'm like what were you going through when this happened? Hopefully good. Yeah, hopefully they're in a good place. Yeah Yeah, there's like hundreds of tattoos. I see him out there. It's very strange And they're not the most glamorous version of your face either. I don't think I have a glamorous first Well, it's usually the one where you're like Crazy face from yelling about something looks like you're coming fire. Oh boy

Yeah, yeah, or I got a capeskin. How do you say that the hot sauce on my dick? How do you say a cap? Saison yeah, that's one of them words that I never say That I just read mm-hmm capsaicin yeah, you know like a generally. That's a read word Yeah, I just certain words really how do I say this one? I know what it is But how do I how do I say that I'm always using pretentious words that I read and I mispronounce them You look pretentious and stupid at the same time the real problem is you talk to a person who actually knows what the fuck They're talking about throwing those words around Some of my biggest L's in that exact situation

Yeah, well you know pretentiousness is kind of gross. I was emailing this lady Emma Klein Who's an author I admire and I like spelled her last name wrong throughout the email I admire and I like spelled her last name wrong throughout the email No, I like you know told her I read all three of her books. Oh, no, it's on the cover. Oh, no How does she spell it? CLINE oh, yeah, and I thought it was KLEIN Very stupid. I Told the people at Random House that that just got a book deal with Random House, and she's on the same roster

You should send her a letter again. I should but how stupid you feel very sorry talked about it on a podcast yes Now can we be friends she didn't answer the emails your memories fuck cuz you've been sleeping on people's floors in random houses for Everyone keen what happened that was big yeah, everybody thought they were gonna get healthy with some bizarre new grain oh yeah yeah this one's got a lot of protein oh it's so good for you it's better than buckwheat it just tastes like shit it's the worst tastes like nothing and like we wouldn't make any money at these shows but they would have a big quinoa dinner one time bro we had to have a talk back in Lansing Michigan at this like a hardcore anarchist home and after the show they were like would you guys mind doing a talk back about your political ideals and the singer of course was like

Hell yeah, so they're like, how do you guys align politically and the singers like I'm into Bakunin And then the bass player was like I think Emma Goldman told the truth and then they were like what about you? And I was like I'm selling CDs and t-shirts These ideals are gonna keep the van going so have fun in here But please come by one of these hand screen t-shirts. Because these ideals aren't going to keep the van going. So have fun in here, but please come buy one of these hand screen t-shirts that I made. It's just very funny when your ideals actually hit reality. Well, those fringe communities, like an anarchist community, I'm always fascinated by people that,

whether they're furries or whatever it is, these bizarre fringe communities that I'm always fascinated by people that like whether they're furries or whatever it is like these are bizarre Fringe communities that have their own sort of language way of looking at things and things they all accept that most people don't What kool-aid they've all drank collectively? Juggalos are the best one. Oh really? Yeah, cuz jugalos are like wild people But they will give you the shirt off their back because they're all about family because like for the most part They're like from poor places They might be gross. You know yeah traditionally, but man jugalos will take you in they're the best yeah

Shout out to the jugalow nation man. They're cool. Do a lot of jugalow shows I mean I grew up in Eastern Colorado, so I had a lot of jugalow friends Oh, yeah, but then whenever I see jugalows at shows now. They're always like first in line at the merch They'll buy everything you have at the table. They're awesome What an amazing sort of movement the insane clown posse out of all people out of all groups of people created yeah Kind of nuts. I think it proves. There's no God That's pure chaos No way that came from a lady. It does prove. There's a God maybe God enjoys all kinds of different humans

Interacting in all sorts of bizarre ways he enjoys chicken hunting Joys everything I think big J is doing the gathering this year is he I would fly in for that show, dude Big J's gonna do that well big J's perfect for that. I know good at riffing Yeah, so this is the insane clown Clown Posse Juggalo gathering. Yeah. Just a fucking gathering of misfits. They're having fun, they're sharing what they have. Bunch of people with IQs like someone on a VersaClimber.

Just dancing around, banging into each other. I've met some like worldly juggalos, man. Really? I met this guy who was a professor at Duke for a while. Wow. And then he like tapped out, and his midlife crisis was becoming a jugolo. Whoa.

He's like, there's just a purity to what they do, and I was enchanted. That's interesting. Well, if you wanted to look at it from a human psychological perspective, there is a purity to it, because there's no pretension involved at all in being a jugolo.

Yes. Yeah. I loathe pretension, because I think I'm guilty of it a lot, because I read books and stuff. And you want people to know you read books. Yeah, because I think I'm guilty of it a lot because I like read books and stuff Mm-hmm, and you want people to know you read books well Yeah, but you can't talk about books with people you can with some people yeah But like they'll be like I love sci-fi and fantasy, and I'm like well. That's lower fiction

Sure what Anderson let's have a conversation Some sci-fi and fantasy is lower fiction, but there's some really good shit. I know Neil Blanc comp How do you say his last name? I always fuck his name Blanc camp always fuck his name. I love the guy though, but he Set me hip to this science fiction Vampire book that I fucking love. It's really good. Let me get the name of it It's like blindside or something like that. Now you're saying I remember him telling that story. Yeah. Let me let me find it because I have it in my phone.

It's really good though. I met George R.R. Martin. Oh, did you really? Yeah. He came to see. I was opening for Burt in New Mexico and George R.R. Martin came. Wow. Yeah. George R.R. Martin came to see Burt. Yeah. That's amazing. In Santa Fe. That's incredible. Yeah This is it. It's a Peter Watts

It's called blind sight and it's a it's a science fiction space movie about alien about well vampires, okay, and the vampires it's it's it's kind of like I'm gonna fuck it up, But the story is that these vampires, they take some sort of medication, there's some sort of a medical thing that they do to keep them from feasting on people. But that they did exist and that they had always existed

and that someone, that they were killed off because they were killing everybody. And then we've kind of relegated them to myth and then someone cloned one and brought it back and then they started having more and the vampires were going to space with them yeah so it's a space journey with this vampire who can like read minds and manipulate people and he's like but he doesn't act on his like most based of most horrible instincts and they're out there interacting with aliens Yeah, it's very good. I mean you had me at vampire fucking good. I'm fucking it up

I'm paraphrasing because I wasn't prepared to talk about it right. Yeah, I had I hadn't I read it like Two years ago. Okay, whenever when Neil was on how long was that about? He's actually a predator from the Pleistocene era. I think that's right. Ah, he's alleged to be far smarter than baseline humans Yeah, it's a really really good book. That stuff sounds good. Oh, it's good. It's good. It's really well crafted I'm just like a realist when it comes to literature I'm reading about like men risking their lives for like $80. Those are my favorite novels. Oh really? Yeah, like very low Reward compared to the risk like Like what? Give me an example. Like Larry Brown, a lot of Cormac McCarthy books are like that.

Cormac McCarthy was amazing. He's the goat. Yeah. He's the best. Yeah, that's, there's something about writing about the stuff that he writes about too, like that Western style. Yeah. Kind of like, just the reality of the existence.

Did you see any of the Yellowstone pre-shows, like 18, what is it, 1883? No. Is that what it is? 1923 and 1883. 1883, right? 1883 is fucking insane. Really?

It's insane. Is it like Deadwood-esque? Well really it's like deadwood esque Well, it's realistic is what it is It's like a realistic depiction of what it was like when people made their way across the country on wagons And how how people were lost along the way yeah, you know, but it's just the way it's done is It's so good, dude If you like this kind of stuff, did you should read warlock which is exactly what you just described. Oh, yeah It's like a postmodern Western. It's really cool. Yeah. Yeah, it's like an easy one to like get lost a postmodern Western Yeah, it's like a self-aware Western like the guy uses all like the trappings of the traditional Western

But then he runs it through like his lens is like a literary author. It's really fucking good. Well, I mean, just think about how crazy this fucking country is. Like 400 years ago, it was just Native Americans. That's it. Just Indian tribes everywhere, and then this. And that quick little bing. So fast.

Out of nowhere, nuts. And the stories about people deciding that they were gonna come here from Europe and didn't even speak English and made it across the fucking The plains on with wagons and lost half the people every time and I had to eat a couple people Yeah, then they get to the Rocky Mountains, and they're like hey, we're good We're gonna stay right a lot of people then the true psychos were the ones who got through the Rockies man Yeah, that's what I always said about Texas We're good. We're gonna stay right here. A lot of people do. But then the true psychos were the ones who got through the Rockies, man. Yeah, well that's what I always said about Texas.

Because like, the thing about this country is, right, the people that are here that weren't Native Americans, everybody and their ancestors started in the east and made their way west. And then the people got to Texas, said, y'all go ahead, we're gonna hang out here and fuck. Yeah, we're good here. They just put up fences and started going nuts. There's a lot out here and fuck yeah, we're good

Start going nuts There's a lot of bison around yeah, but a lot of people kept going and then the people that did keep going are the most filled with wanderlust like Californians were the most like open-minded I mean the state is like completely fallen, but the the ethic of it the ethos of the state Still remains for a lot of people. And it was like, that was the place where people grew, that people went to when they were fed up with the way the East Coast was.

They didn't like the hostility, they wanted to be more creative and free, and they made their way to San Francisco, and they made their way to LA. And it was just, that was the last place you could go before you went to Hawaii. There's nowhere else to go! There's nowhere else to go, so it would just, that was the last place you could go before you went to Hawaii. Like there's nowhere else to go. There's nowhere else to go.

So it would just make sense that those people would be the ones that would be pushing the boundaries. I mean, think about, like in the 1960s at least, like the amount of entertainment, the amount of music, the amount of culturally changing content that came out of Los Angeles and the West Coast. It's fucking nuts, man. If you saw it on the chart, a graph, like how much amazing shit came out of LA in those

decades, it's crazy. Right. And like how exponential the next great thing was. Yes. You know? That's what I was thinking about, was just like how quickly in the last 200 years that curve has sharpened. Yeah.

There's so much innovation over the last 200 years that curve has sharpened yeah, but so much innovation over the last 200 years That's like bananas compared to the rest of human history It's not what we've achieved and what we're going through right now is gonna change all that Multitudes it's gonna be beyond the printing press beyond the invention of the internet Oh, yeah, whatever the fuck the AI thing is when it at one Everyone's just guessing what it's gonna be like but whatever, it's going to be like that vampire in that spaceship. 100%. 100%.

Yeah, we're going to be trapped with a superior predator. Exactly. And it's not going to have emotions either. And if it does, it'll engineer those out. What are these stupid things doing? What's the point of these? Yeah, these things aren't helping anything. I don't even have a dick.

Emotions are interesting. Yeah. Because it's like people who are beholden to their emotions when they make it your problem because they're experiencing. Obviously, if you're mentally ill, that's one thing. But if you're just a person who's bummed and you want to put that on me, it's like, grow up. Everyone deals with all of these things.

I'm just not going to project it upon you and make your time worse. Well, a lot of it's patterns. And they learn the patterns in their family. No, you're very right. Unfortunately, you're very right. It's real hard if you grow up with morons. It's really hard to break free. Correct. And think clearly. And they also have this like weird energy that you get from your family and the way they look at things like some families they just woe is me forever. Right, then those patterns give you comfort because they remind you of yeah when you were safe.

And they also don't know what to talk about. So come on you know my fucking job. I swear to God I wish I could quit I fucking hate it. I know No this again, we're so lucky that all of our friends are the funniest people alive Oh, we're so lucky where that's the best part of stand-up. We say it all the time in that green room Yeah, like we are so lucky to be here. We're so lucky especially when you consider how you first started You know the earliest days to be here now. It's just yeah bananas Yeah, Ron white handing me a cigar will never not lose its charm. Yeah, it's always so cool Just hanging out with him is always weird to me. That's why I bought that stupid cult house

I can't believe Ron whites my friend Yeah, he was the first guy here too, by the way. Everybody accredits me with getting people to move here, but he got me to move here. He was the first guy. He got me thinking about moving here before the pandemic because he moved here, I think in 2017 or 18. And I go, what are you doing in Austin?

He went, I still got my house in Beverly Hills, but I'll tell you what, I fucking love it here. He goes, when I'm traveling, I'm in the middle of the country flights are quick people are nice foods great I play golf and I was like damn because my son lives here. He loves it Maybe Austin's a spot Colorado had a shot at you, man They did I remember when that happened when you moved up to Boulder for my wife pregnant I understand when she got pregnant we had to go back, but yeah, I was I was planning on just going buck wild in Denver Yeah, that's that was my plan. It would have been so valuable to that city

Well, we could always do a mothership there one day. I think that's a good candidate for a mothership I bet when Wendy wants to sell yeah, I would talk to you well if Wendy wanted to sell I'd be interested I love her. She's the she's the best She's like my mom now. She's such a great lady. I have my mom's wake at her club Oh really and paid for all the food and everything oh She's the greatest that's cool. We had Ron White's mom's wake at our club. Yeah When Wendy when I when I did my 2014 Comedy Central special I did it on purpose at the Denver Comedy Works,

because I'm like, I want to do it at Wendy's place. Of course. She's just such a good force for comedy, and just understands comedy, and is really kind to people, and good to the opening acts. But tough as nails, bro. Oh, yeah. Because she had to fight up for being a waitress.

She was a waitress at the club, and now she owns it. You have to be tough as nails to be in this crazy business. I always told comedians be nice to these club owners because you don't want to be them. Right. And then I had to be one. Yeah. And also be nice to the servers. Be nice to everybody. Be nice to everybody. Always be nice to everybody. And again because it will benefit you. Not because it's the right thing to do but because it will make your life easier when they end up running the club become managers or agents Or whatever also. It's just it feels better next time you see him. It's good for everybody. It's good for you It's good for them. Everybody's friendly you hug everybody. Yay. We're all here together Yeah, fun times, you know, and she's she's done a great job of having she has a real community there

You know, that's one of the reasons why when I wanted to escape from LA this is 2009 When I wanted to do my first escape from LA I chose Colorado, but I wanted to be in the fucking woods. That's where I fucked up I fucked up because I tried to I push my wife too hard. I pushed her to the crazy place I pushed I'm like what's life in the woods? Yeah, with a baby on top of a fucking mountain. Yeah, we lost a dog to a mountain lion. Jesus Yeah, like we were in like why we were there I guess it was actually before we moved there a bear broke into one of the neighbors cars and ate his seats

Because the bear thought that the seats were leather and leather is food I guess a bear can smell so good that they can smell the hide and so he just ate his seats Just took just opened the door, man. The bears know how to open doors. Wow. They get habituated to people, and it's a real problem. Because once they find out that you have garbage cans, they never stop coming to your house.

And then once they eat your car, they always, they keep coming, they keep coming. So I went, I tried too hard. Eating a car is so funny. I left, I left too far. I went I tried too hard eating a car so funny I left I left too far. I went too far out Yeah, I should have been in Boulder proper in the city but even then that the problem was when a woman is pregnant the atmosphere of

Denver and even of you know anywhere around five thousand feet It's rough and Colorado has one of the highest premature birth rates because of the lack of oxygen, apparently. Yeah, it's really rough on pregnant women. It's like having the flu. So we went back to Los Angeles for something. I forget what we went for, and then immediately she felt better.

And I was really, and then we talked to the doctor, the whole deal, like, yeah, it's really bad to be, especially if your body's not acclimated if you just move there, and then all sudden you're pregnant Yeah, it was too rough But I always had this I always had this itch to get back there like to get back to the mountain areas above Boulder are so amazing the Flatirons. Oh, dude. You can't you like you're driving down the road You're like am I in a fucking movie? Yeah, or is this how I get to my house because this seems like a movie it seemed too good I always say that it's like what we love we all love everyone loves art

You know you love to look at this painting or a cool sculpture It's a thing that like your mind interacts like wow it's amazing But nature is that times a million and real nature like mountains and trees and the sunlight Like going through the leaves. It's like oh my god. It's incredible Yeah, it's like your day is enriched by the just the beauty of it all and also you're humbled by it Oh, yeah, it's a good thing for the soul. I feel small you feel so fucking small You're surrounded by uncaring just nature. Yeah, and it's just insanely beautiful. There's I don't know why human beings

Register beauty when it comes to like objects and stuff I wonder like what evolutionary benefit is it to look at a flower and go God, it's amazing Yeah Like what is that like and also the flower and go, God, it's amazing. Like, what is that? And also the flower rewards you with smell, and you can touch the petals, and that's a central experience. Yeah, that's a good way of looking at it.

But there's a lot of things that are beautiful. It's like, why? I guess a lake is beautiful because there's food in there. So you get excited by the blue water, and the clear water means it's not polluted like oh because you see a brown Water lake it doesn't look great. Oh, yeah, you know those reservoir lakes. Oh, yeah, there's one in for college fish pond Yeah, you ever seen those people that go noodling of course cover their hands in dog food. I've noodled man Have you noodle in Mississippi one time? Did you ever get a cat? No? No you tried

Oh, yeah, that is my armpit mud just waiting. That's such a wild activity One time did you ever get a cat no no you tried? Mud just waiting that's such a wild activity yeah, but hey you get food out of it Oh, you get a lot of food yeah, those fucking things are huge Wrestling with them dude, and they're just like smacking them again Yeah, it's a fucking 50 pound fish that's attached to your arm trying to pull you into its hole Yeah into the mud or you can fuck up and get a snapping turtle you get a snapping turtle for a carp God forbid you get a gar carp won't bother me, but a snapping turtle bothers the shit out of me here We go look at that look at that. Oh my god. That's prehistoric. Oh That's that lady Hannah Baron. I follow her on Instagram. That was the she's always noodling good for her

Yeah, she's like a cute southern girl who? She's always noodling. Good for her. Yeah, she's like a cute southern girl who goes noodling for catfish and goes hunting. And there's like a whole industry of like hot girls who go hunting. It's a good racket. Look at the size of that fucking fish, man.

Look at that thing. That thing is so massive. Wow. I mean, you could eat that for three or four days. I'd like to eat a couple things in that video. I hear you. Come on. Yeah, come on. Come on, that muddy water don't bother me no no

The fish is later I want sushi right now But the the the noodling thing like that water don't look good that doesn't look beautiful You know what it feeds off that you know like that's where it's getting its nutrients It's from the mud, but you fry it up. It's not bad. Oh, they're delicious. Yeah, yeah There's a lot of things that are ugly as fuck. They're like they used to think of lobsters as poor people food mm-hmm Not nuts. It's the best they serve it to prisoners and shit crazy He used to fish him out of the East River for like for bar food Yeah, it would go like back in the 1800s. Those were chicken tenders

Fucking lobster, it's our favorite food ever. It's so good. I'm not over it I'm not over it at all when I first got my first development deal, you know I've been poor my whole life and then I got my first development deal when I was like 24 or something like that 25 I guess I guess I was 25 Somewhere around then anyway the point is Up until then I'd always been poor and then my manager Contacts me like a couple months later. He said do you have a gambling problem? And I said no why and he goes you're spending so much money

I just thought cuz you know I played a lot of pool. Yeah, I go no, dude I'm eating lobster every night. I Just I had all this money I was like bro, I'm gonna spend it I didn't have any thought at all about saving it I was like what? Saving it that was me. I just bought a couch about like a nine thousand dollar couch for our new home And I felt so much guilt. Yeah, you feel guilt for sure. But when you sit in that soccer, you're like, oh. Also for the rest of our lives, this is a forever home. Dude, we have Mae West's couch in the green room

of the mothership. That's how long a couch can hang around for and move around. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to Peter Shor. Shout out to Chamonix. They sold me my couch.

Nah. Peter Shor gave me the couch that's in the mothership. Dude, that dude is one of the most fascinating people. He has like 12 different degrees. Oh, Peter's brilliant. He's so smart, dude. Yeah, he's great. He sent me some shit that he wrote, and it's really good.

He's definitely the smartest of the Shores. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, he's the smartest. He's the one I know. But yeah. I know all of them. Scott's great, too. The other brother that lives in San Diego, he's awesome. I love know. Yeah, the one I know Mmm, but yeah, I know all of them Scott's great to the other brother that lives in San Diego. He's awesome I love him. Yeah, and Paulie Paul is awesome, too Paul is like a different human now. It's fun

He's fun to be changed. It's a sweetheart. He really is very nice Yeah, you know I think listen that kid got famous when he was like 18 years old like that's not good for anybody That's not good for Miley Cyrus I've met so many people that got famous when they were young McCauley Culkin and I guess with him. It's poison That was a good pod, dude. He's an interesting guy. I want to befriend him. He's in Paris. He's very smart guy Yeah, very very smart He's an interesting and kind and like cool to talk to but you don't get through that and not get fucked up, but Paulie You know I mean he was being babysat by Sam Kinnison like what yeah like he grew up with his mom

Like literally I leave him in the crib let him cry. I'll make him funny. Yeah I went to a party at Roman Polanski's house in Paris. Yeah, well like I did a show in Paris So his son Elvis was like, you must come to my party. And I was like, we're not gonna hang out with you. And then someone else was like, it's in Roman Polanski's house, you should go to the party. So we mobbed deep, I told all these comics, we roll in there.

Wow. And then instead of going up when we get to the apartment, we have to go down, because Roman Polanski said, no party in my house. So we had to party in the parking garage below his home. Oh god. It was so I Had we had the highest expectations that we were going into Shangri-La, right? But no, we just like partied by some shitty euro trash cars That's like a 16 year old DJ the worst music ever and we drank warm beer

Yeah, but Polanski. Did you see him? No. No I did not. But I did go into the apartment to use the bathroom. Oh. It's very nice up there. I bet. Very nice. Very well appointed place. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

I mean dude, he might be a pedophile, but fucking Chinatown? It seems like a lot of people were pedophiles back then. Well, it was a different time. That's what's crazy. Like there's songs. Like Christine 16. Let's get a's crazy like there's songs. Yeah, Christine 16 Let's get a couple more candles on that cake. Yeah

16 candles I need two more boys Yeah, and then there was the other song she was only 17 and then there was a Rick James song She was 17, but she was sex ed. Yeah Yeah, jailbait rules. What's jail? They would you get man? Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah Oh, yeah, yeah, she was with that as well saying he rules. It was a different time Yeah back then guys like Seinfeld dated that just Sean Alonstein girl. She was like 17 She looked like that catfish woman at the time though yeah that's what I'm saying age is just a number baby you're like Aristotle yeah like gossocrates normal stuff

Jesus why is everybody so uptight I've never banged a kid but neither have I but I think of it very differently when it's a hot woman and a 17 year old kid Hot woman a 17 year old boy everybody's fine with of course. It's a joke throw him a parade exactly yeah, but a 17 year old girl and a hot man yeah like what's wrong with you you piece of shit now You know there was like Chris Hemsworth started fucking high school seniors I mean allegedly No, you know there was like Chris Hemsworth started fucking high school seniors You know allegedly No, I don't think the story exists, I think it's fake, but I mean those are the luckiest girls in the world I know they'd be like oh my god. He's here. Yeah, you lose your virginity to Hemsworth. Oh, I doubt there's 17 year old virgins left

I don't know these days these kids are fucking yeah, they really are they getting after it They can't get enough of it. Well. They have porn on their phone. I know dude. They're so warped. They're so warped I mean we were running a mass psychology experiment on kids. Yeah, no one's talking about it No, their brains are mushed. They have to be yeah, they have to be dude It's really hard to have a conversation with young people because they're constantly reaching for their phone. They can't stop they can't yeah Because there's getting pure serotonin and the world's at their fingertips. Well think about podcasts. It's like the only time that I ever get a chance to talk to someone and not look at

my phone at all. Yeah. It's the only time. I know. Normal, if you and I were at dinner, I might look at my phone real quick. I'm like, I'm going to text this guy back. I find some reason why it's so important. Show me a video.

I'm going to send this message. Yeah, yeah. Show you some funny, show you that guy dancing around I'm watching Looking in a mirror Jesus Maybe that's my new course. Yeah, the anarchy thing didn't work out Yeah, I can do this alone your hotel room in the mirror There's actually two rap songs. I did online no way that's nine apostles the clandestine apostles a great name Yeah, we I ate an edible with my buddy Pat

Yeah, we put down a couple tracks. Oh my god. That's awesome But yeah, I mean it's just like there's these kids and also there are a lot of really exciting kids doing really cool shit Oh sure like yeah, if you grow up with every bit of music mm-hmm if you synthesize that all into something It's going to be new not just every bit of music, but every bit of music instantaneously available anytime you want Yeah, just pull out your phone press a button bam music. Yeah, it's There's never been anything remotely like that. It's a valuable tool. You have the Library of Alexandria in your hand. You really do, you really do.

Oh no. Clannis-Thun Apostles, let's hear some of this. Let's go. Poor boys who hate on us, I just fucked their bitch. You let the disc off course, I just fucked your bitch. If I was your child That's me singing the hook I still be reviled

I'm an ancestry defiled I don't know why you guys didn't make it I don't understand, there's no justice in the world This is last year! I can't hide behind youth on this one Oh no, I was hoping you were like 12. No, dude This was the 36 year old Sam Talon and his wife a little high That's hilarious. I played it for Danny Brown once he listened to the whole thing

How about that guy last night whose mom became a country music star at 54? Excuse me stars a big word you use it like porno star. They're all stars. Like there's no por- no one says I'm a porn actress. They're all porno stars. I texted Tony this morning. I was like, that was a wild move. Oh my god, it was so wild. It was wild. They found her and she- was she kinda hot? Kinda. Was she really hot? She was a total babe. Wow.

She was a smokin' blonde. And then she had a song and the son was like, yeah, she uses AI to write the lyrics. Like, hey, shut the fuck up, kid. That was her son saying it like hey kid This is your mom's opportunity to make it as a country star and you're selling her out by saying she gets AI to write The lyrics you fuckhead. Oh, yeah, that was a bad move. I should edit that out so the Fuck the kid cuz the kid he kind of bombed well is mad Yeah, he bombed he bombed yeah, but he was mad that his mom is out there making legitimate music. I just gave her a career last night

Imagine Sheila look Tony's such a psycho. He'll have her come and perform for sure yeah She'll be the cocktail girl well I think bread band followed her and DM'd her on the show on the show followed her on Instagram and DM'd her What what but do you remember what her name was will follow her D comma le D-le comma le but it was like delhi.official right on Instagram, right? Jamie'll find it. Yeah, Jamie's on it right now. Is it D? I don't know if there's an apostrophe on Instagram though Can you even use an apostrophe when you sign up for an Instagram? No, but like on her Spotify her name is D Lee

Right, it's D apostrophe L ee on Spotify and now the kill Tony fan base is going to descend upon her and the JRE fan King maker see the photos of this lady. Come on man. My dick is hard. Let's go Close close Jamie I've been edging the whole time me and Sam Talib and talking about cocks for two hours ever since the Indianapolis Jesus Christ Jesus Christ Jamie come on man. You're edging me. Okay. This is the lady. Oh, she's beautiful. Yeah, she's so that's this guy's mom That's hilarious. I think that's her that is hilarious Yeah, man, and then does she really have an only fans or they fucking know no that's funny Yeah, well he's like do not follow my mom's only fans click on the followers make sure this is her

Yeah, that's her she got seventy followers. She had 63 last night. That's her. Let's see what she has now 70 Jamie just followed her follower I'm gonna fuck up my algorithm. Her brain's going to explode. I'm gonna fuck up my algorithm. I don't want to see where this goes. I think it's hilarious. It's so funny just what the power in your guys' hands. It is ridiculous.

It's in the wrong hands for sure. But it's also like this lady, like the son, being upset that the mother still has a dream. Oh, she's 54. So what? She's alive. She's a human being and she's alive.

Yeah. Now she feels safe. She can create now. Why don't you let her go, you fuckhead? Yeah. Do you have a single kissing frogs? Yeah, kissing frogs. That's it.

That's her. Number 53 in the top 100 country chart. She's a babe. That's like the Bill Hicks joke about Iraq was the fifth largest army. Like yeah, but after the first three, there's a huge drop off. Oh yeah.

Salvation Army's number four. Yeah. Like she's number 53, like what's, okay. What's 52? Did you ever know Ollie Joe Prater? I did not. No? Damn, that guy's so fascinating.

Yeah? Yeah, he has a special on YouTube It's him doing like every hack line that guys did But I think he was the first to do them like he chugs a beer, and he's like that's all I learned in college You know that's his opener. I think he was a hack. I think so I don't think it was like he wrote him I think they were out there Well Hicks told a story about Ollie Joe when he got real fat And he would have to go on stage at the beginning of the show and they'd throw a sheet over him I think they were out there. Well, Hicks told a story about Ollie Joe when he got real fat,

and he would have to go on stage at the beginning of the show, and they'd throw a sheet over him. So he would just be on stage, because he was immobile. So the whole show, host, feature, and then ladies and gentlemen, Ollie Joe Prater, and they would pull the sheet off of him. Oh my God. Because he was like, you know, a big wad. But I guess one time he was smoking under the sheet.

And he caught it on fire. It caught on fire. Yeah, man. Couldn't go to the opener and he caught it on fire it caught on fire Open air and then the middle without a cigarette. Oh, that's hilarious He'd be under there with like a bottle of Jack Daniels and a bunch of cigs There's a photo of him at the Comedy Store in Hollywood and Tim standing next to the Comedy Store Was it a van or a limo? I forget but he's It's so crazy how big he is. He's also like five foot four he looks like Yosemite Sam But he's a ball. Yeah, basically a ball and he probably weighs 500 pounds. Mm-hmm. That's how Ralph he was especially at the end

This Ollie Joe Prater. Oh, so he's thinner back then. Yeah, this is him and his prime sleek Ollie Joe Prater. Yeah This is before he had to go on stage with a sheet right imagine them accommodating that oh They had to figure out a 600 pound guy. Yeah I need a prospector The old days Richard Pryor m Mitzi said uh Dave Keckner That on the right. Oh, that's um Fuck what's his name? Renegade white man

Whoa He had a myspace so myspace is still a thing he died in 91 something Did you think myspace is like radio in terms of like how many tickets you sell? How is that what is this What is it featured go to featured what does it say I'm on featured oh, okay artists of the day click artists today Who's ours today? See it says there. This was the artist of the day. I'm I featured. Oh, okay artists today click artists today. Who's ours today? See it says there This was the artist of the day. I'm I used to book tours What's the day is this that this is made is this like from 2008 or is this real?

The pictures aren't loading so I don't it might not be I might not be up anymore Doesn't 2017 2017 yeah, so that was the so they gave up in 2017 gave up the ghost didn't like Justin Timberlake Buy it or some shit. I don't know did he company he owned or he was part of yeah they bought it like for assets probably and That was the key for assets. That's how you got bad shows at squats the beyond my space Well once Dane Cook became famous on my space and everybody figured out like oh my god You can actually get famous on the internet. Yeah, he was the first guy for sure to get June 2011 They purchased it for 35 million dollars. I could have saved them a lot of money

You can give them $35 Breathe life into this corpse Okay, was it say got bought a couple years. Oh, some other moron bought it. Time. Time bought it for 87 million. That's time. I could've saved you some money too. Yeah.

Eight years later. You are so much better off coming up with your own new social media site than trying to resurrect one of the people of abandon. Maybe they like own the music that was posted on there. Well, the weird one about MySpace is it was so popular and then not.

Almost like that. Facebook. But I mean, how did it lose that many people? It wasn't cool anymore. Facebook became cool and young people wanted to be on Facebook. Now Facebook is for old people. It is, yeah. But it's still alive, because old people, for the most part,

because of health care, their fences. It's thriving. Yeah. These people for the most part because of health care. It's the right answers. Yeah Better medication. Oh, yeah, these folks are staying around now. They can post. Oh my god. I love reading people post about like Immigration or America or like what's wrong with this country bringing Jesus back into the school system. I love it Yeah, and I love like reading the arguments in the comments. I love it. Oh, yeah, I love it Yeah, it's good that they have a place to have these insane conversations where it's also Saved for everyone to watch forever. I read them when I'm when everyone in my house is asleep

Yeah, like when everyone in my house is asleep and I'm procrastinating before I write one things that I do is I'll go on Facebook Just read people's rats The Dairy Queen and Sturgis They need to fix these potholes The problem is the money's all going to the immigrants There I heard Trump say they're bottoming out our Social Security It's like there I heard Trump say they're bottoming out our Social Security They're just chronicling the decay of Middle America. There's gonna be a civil war in this country I'll tell you what a rain's gonna come. Let's hope not you fuckheads. Yeah, Jesus Christ

Don't be summoning that shit like a demon. I know dude I'll be how about we all figure out that we're being played and come together on important issues like real what what's real freedom? God damn it Be whatever the fuck you want to be leave everybody alone be nice. Yeah, everybody you do it over there I'll do it over here and yeah, and if I go over there watch let me watch a little bit of that for sure See that fat guy dance around exactly and I'll teach you how to clean a gun Yeah, let's have fun that we're way more I'll show you how to shoot a bow and arrow. Yeah.

Let's have fun. We're way more connected in this country than we are separate. Everybody wants the same thing. Yeah. It's just we need to get that in our head and no one's telling us that. Everyone's telling us that there's these battles

for our existence. The very soul of this nation. Yeah, the soul of democracy, the democracy, democracy. This isn't even a democracy now It's a it's a republic and it's an oligarchy really yeah. Yeah, it's just corporations on the country. It is now Yeah, the money Just people lost their way Like the guys who founded this country they did a great job of like preparing for the worst Oh, yeah, but they didn't understand how big it was gonna get They'd know how could they also if you love freedom of speech and freedom of religion and freedom to gather

You also then have to love the Second Amendment Yeah That's the big thing that divides me from like my more liberal friends is like they're into all freedoms Except for the one that like allows you to protect yourself and your family. You know what I mean? Well, I understand why they do it I do I Understand what they feel that way it's because gun violence is abhorrent. It's a horrible thing. It's gun violence is terrible It's an American problem. It is an American problem, but But the problem exists right so we don't live in a utopian world where people don't try to impose themselves on you and especially Like for someone who's not physically strong strong or large

It's the great equalizer. If a woman is being attacked the great equalizer is a gun. It's not karate It's just not as a person who's a martial artist for their whole life I'm telling you now it's not the move the move is a gun Yeah Some fucking asshole breaks into your house and wants to rape you and you're a woman the answer is a gun right and the cops Take too long to get there. And then you defunded the cops because you thought you were being cute,

because you wanted to show you weren't racist. And now, guess what? It's way worse for everybody, including the people of color, including the people, especially the people who live in bad communities. Because the cops are never going there now. So all the people that wanted to avoid all that shit and the cops were the only thing keeping the wolves away from the door, now you're dealing with it head on. And those are the people that are calling avoid all that shit and the cops are the only thing keeping the wolves away from the door Now you're dealing with it head-on and those are the people that calling for the refunding of the police the people in these fucked up neighborhoods

That's why you need guns, you know And it's not like the argument to like have guns to protect yourself against the government the government will nuke you the government can throw it Send in drones. Sure like I don't think that like a bunch of people that are Capable with the submachine guns are going to be able to defend against the fucking all-time greatest army in the world. Yeah.

But it is like, you know, you have a little peace of mind, and you can buy a little bit of, you can sleep a little bit sounder knowing you got that 9 millimeter in the drawer. It helps. Yeah. And it's also, you know, the idea that the government, here's the problem.

The government is people, right? So the military is people. And the people that the government but here's the problem. The government is people, right? So the military is people and the people that are in the military are the least likely To go along with this idea because most of our blue collar You know, most of them are lower middle class Yeah lower class like there are people that are struggling in this world and they don't have trust in this fucking Institution is telling you to attack their neighbors because the neighbors are not Compliant and some evil dictators. Yeah, good luck pulling that shit off. That's civil war happens That's for sure. That's when the army has to turn its guns on their friends and family. That's gonna be a real tough sell. Yeah, I

Think the ideological civil war is much more likely to take place that something some some much more likely to take place. That something, some existential notion, something that we all agree is the end of our society, our civilization as we know it, if we don't do X, Y, or Z. And then on one side people oppose it and one side people support it and then they start stripping rights away and they start like fueling the flames to get this done It's it's really possible that we could have a civil war in this country the way people are so divided left and right today is bizarre fully accentuated by Not just social media, but social media that's being operated by other countries

Yeah, like we talked about this before but 19 of the top 20 Facebook Christian pages are run by Russian trolls Wow 19. Yeah, so there's 20 of the top Christian sites on Facebook Millions of people are interacting 19 of them are run by Russian troll farms. The other one's the Westboro Baptist Church You would hope that one would be legit. Yeah. You know, one would be legit, but there's a lot of bullshit online and it's because we're so susceptible to bullshit. We love it. Yeah. Makes sense. It's an easy solution. This quotable thing that I read on my aunt's Facebook, you know. Do you think that comedy's going to be affected by AI no because comedy is

like one of the only live things that you have to do you know you know you have to see it live for it to be very good you can watch comedy specials yeah but they're not as good as being in the room I think that is we're protected by that and AI comedy special as of lately as of and again it changes so fast it's so quick but the ones that I've seen like the George Carlin one they made up and they suck mm-hmm they just feel fake yeah yeah it lacks the human heart the soul of the thing isn't in there it lacks the signature of an individual an actual soul and you can't teach

timing you know is AI gonna learn timing I wonder all. All these little, like, intangible parts of being a good standup? I think it ultimately will. Will AI go and start doing crowd work when they're bombing? No. I don't think so. But I don't think it's gonna be able to perform in front of a crowd.

I think, but AI specials might be a thing. Well. Because they've already got really good AI rap songs. For sure. Yeah. And AI deep fakes, you know Yeah, the crazy pornography you can oh, yeah crazy shit. I mean everybody's fucking yeah. Yeah Putin banging Marilyn Monroe. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah stuff. Yeah. Yeah, I mean if you imagine if they that's what porn becomes like instead of you know

You like oh, it's like taking advantage of these people no no these aren't real people, right? This is just like this is a fantasy this lady gets stuck in the dryer She's asking you to pull her out with your cock in the only way and it's also your ex from college You can like upload her Instagram into the matrix and then next thing You know you're jerking off to this unrequited love and then the government finds out that you're doing that and they stormtroopers Break down your door and find her yeah You with your pants down on the computer. Oh You go to thought police jail. Hey, man. That's one of the better jails you can go to for mind crimes

As opposed to violent crime jail probably cool neighbors. Oh for sure in jail with thought police curious people. Yeah interesting people Just asking questions just trying to find out. Yeah inquisitive souls I just want to know why can't I jerk off to this deep fake? Yeah, my high school, sweetheart What am I doing with hurting anyone? Yeah, that's like the argument for like give pedophiles like AI porn of children You know because then they can like satisfy their Terrible urge I've heard even worse. I've heard give them robot dolls. Of course. I've heard that too, but I think that's a bridge too far You know all the bridge too far. It's all fucking weird because they're trying so many people are trying to equate Pedophilia with what they're calling minor attracted person. I know they're trying to rebrand it

How weird how weird that they would give that one ago the ultimate evil? Yeah, let's put a new spin on this Why don't you want to give that one ago Remember New Coke? We've got new pedophiles. LAUGHS But isn't it just like, it's indicative of this thing that we're talking about, that most people aren't even really thinking about things clearly. Yeah. They're just subscribing.

Well, it's easy. If someone you think is smart tells you, you know, what to think, then you are unburdened by having to make your own decisions. Especially if it seems compassionate. Yeah. Like you're being kind to these people that are just minor attracted persons. I know it's not their fault. Yeah, you're born that way It's like great. They're born that way, but if they act upon it. They should be beheaded Yeah, you know in this time square. Oh, yeah for all to see make an example of yeah make an example

But cover them in honey feed them to ants promise the media is completely full of shit And so is the government and they would decide you know Sam Talents been making a lot of noise I don't want to be the face of this movement show Let's upload some fucking nasty shit onto his computer. Oh, yeah, they definitely have done before Oh, yeah, and then you know you have to defend it and so then all of a sudden there's Newspapers Sam talent in jail for porn right child porn like oh my god. Yeah, that's all I need. And then the people are out there, hang him, hang him, hang him. Well, no news is bad news, you know?

Don't be selling certain markets. It probably would. Certain places, they were like, I like that guy. The great pedophile comedian. Yeah, like New Mexico, where they used to send the pedophile priests. Yeah, what was that about? Well, they send them all over the place for sure

But there was a few states that had very suspect laws were they sending them to like the reservation and stuff They definitely did that. Yeah, I know that one of the things that Some states and I think New Mexico was one of them had bizarre laws like the age of consent for a girl Like for a man to be with a girl was like the girl to be 16 okay but the age of consent for a boy and a man was like 13 what yeah that's that's some creative accounting right they're cooking the books where'd you come up with that yeah and I think the reason being was to exonerate pedophiles that were like religious pedophiles. It was

consensual. Did you ever see Hear No Evil or see, is it See No Evil? I think it's See No Evil, but it's it's it just is really essentially a documentary tracking how all these different pedophiles got moved in the air as they follow this one specific one where this guy had molested who knows how many fucking kids one of them was a Guy this was what made Ratzinger have to step down when that Pope stepped down He was responsible for sending this one guy. He got caught being a pedophile So they sent him to a new location where he molested 100 deaf kids And it's like most of sounded terrible in that room

No one knows you're screaming. The fact that it's like, you think Catholic priest, you think pedophile, like that. They're synonymous. Instantaneously, like you don't, how many did there have to be before that became completely? It's not like Occasionally the UPS driver is a car thief Yeah, when I think UPS I don't think Kia boy, you know exactly when I think priests I do think in a boy

But yeah, it's a It's but their laws were set up. I think in some states. I think that's the suspicion. That's a, it's, but their laws were set up, I think, in some states. I think that's the suspicion. That's a very good hypothesis. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you're never gonna get rid of it, you know? Just make it low so it's not too illegal.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, he only missed the age by a year. Come on. The kid was 11. He was like really grown. He's a tall kid. He's a tall kid, pubes already. Let him. He's like really grown. He's a tall kid. He's a tall kid, pubes are ready. He's precocious.

What's the big deal? He likes candy. I really, New Mexico is so weird, dude. It's a weird place. Cock fighting was legal until like eight years ago. It's still legal in some places. I think cock fighting is legal in multiple states. It was Louisiana and New Mexico were the last holdouts.

Were they? Yeah. Is this for sure? I think so. What states have cockfighting still legal? I don't think any are legal, but I think those were the last two. Out of Gardner that used to cockfight.

I went to his house once, and he had snuck over from Mexico. And he would go back and forth. And like one time he said, I'm going to be gone for like six months. I'm like, what are you doing? He's like,'m going back to Mexico. I go when you coming back goes I don't know if I'm gonna be able to get back. I'm gonna try. Yeah, I go Well, when you try you know where I'm at. Uh-huh. Let me know. I'll just get somebody else to take care of it Why you're gone? Yes holler at me when you got back. Did he go back to cockfight?

Nope, he went back just to go back to Mexico for a little bit He eventually went back to Mexico to move he eventually gave up on America Yeah, one day, but he was my gardener for like ten years cool guy, but he was he goes Do you want to see the Kogfans? I was like yeah, of course. Let's see what that's like Yeah, so he took me to a neighborhood in Los Angeles that I might as well been in Mexico. There was no Non-mexican people there in the neighborhood everybody spoke Spanish all the signs were in Spanish It was like like wow this is like a whole little area that I wasn't aware of So we go to his friend's house and we go into the backyard and his friend had

Stacks upon stacks of chicken coops Wow just everywhere roosters everywhere I was like this is nuts man. I go what the fuck is the morning sound like here? Yeah. And he was like but everybody has chickens. It's no big deal. I was like everybody has chickens? And there was like this guy over there you go to his backyard, fill with roosters. This guy over there, his backyard, filled with roosters. Yeah. And they would get them together. Everybody would get together and gamble. They would all drink. Yeah. They'd have the chicken fight one chicken would lose they would boil them and eat them He's like we're gonna eat him anyway. It was just like we gamble. Yeah, then one will die with pride

So no, yeah, I mean it's barbaric, but I bet the hell of a show but razors on their claw That's where I lose interest. Well, that's the only way to get them to kill each other Really? Otherwise, they just peck each other and fucking get tired got a couple fun facts here for you article from last year New York Times about cock fighting according to some rooster men the game foul or fighting chicken was almost chosen to be the national bird of America and it should have a breeder once told me an eagle ain't nothing more than a glorified buzzard That's that guy's an idiot Fucking amazing they catch salmon with their feet you fucking retard they do war in the sky such game foul

Lore and sentiment abound George Washington Thomas Jefferson were devoted rooster fighters They were devoted rooster fighters George Washington Union Confederate soldiers put aside their differences on Sundays during the Civil War to pit their chickens against one another. This is the solution to that partisanship that you've been talking about. Abraham Lincoln was given the nickname Honest Abe after he displayed impartiality as a cockfighting judge. USA. What?

They fought him on the White House lawn. Hawk fighting judge USA What? They fought him on the White House lawn They fought them right on the White House lawn says David Thurston president of the United game foul breeders association a national Nonprofit dedicated to the birds preservation Wow Wow Man this country. There's so many different stitches in the fabric of this end on that let's end on that high notes Yeah, Sam town tell everybody well where they could see your special you can see it on Matt and Shane's YouTube page what is it? What is it called the toads morale? I mean their YouTube page

So I think it's called Matt and Shane's secret podcast YouTube okay, and it's called the toads morale Yeah, and also I have a new travel show on my youtube If you want to subscribe to my youtube that'd be huge come see me live, Pittsburgh Detroit coming your way nice My podcast is good Yeah Website this is the travel worldwide tour. Yeah, Sam town's wide world man Nice me my boy Patrick Beautiful. Yeah, dude. Shut up Jack. You're doing fun stuff dude.

It's been cool to get to know you and you're a very funny guy. Thank you. Cool guy. It's been a lot of fun. I appreciate you. I appreciate you too. Thanks for helping me change my life. Oh, please. Thank you. More to come. You're gonna feel weird about being rich. I can't wait. Alright, bye everybody. Thanks for watching!